The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1884-07-24
PLEAsANTRIEG

a sERENADE ought to DO set In night
key.
ADnrE novel is Of course in-ten-cent-
sation.
WHEN business is run down it is
time to have it wound up"
Tmvegetarian's diminutive pleasantly
Its rare that I eat meat"
''HERE's your ring" said the bell to
the belle, and the wedding went on.
Ar the Hub-'I am tired" said the
wheel. " Poor felloe, spoke the axle,
wagon his tongue.
''FoRTUxE knocks once at every
mans door," but misfortune stalks in
many times without knocking.
PATTI is thirty-nine years old, and has
been just that old so long she is used to
it and it doesn't worry her q cents
worth.
a LITTLE girl being asked what she
was doing with her doll, replied that she
was making her an angel and was about
to sew on wings.
4" AN honest man is the noblest work
of God" Nothing is said about an
honest woman, because she isn't such
an astounding variety.
WHAT can make more vocal noise than
boy driving ten cows through town
Why, boy driving two COWS, of course.
The moro COWS the less noise.
Chow OLD are you ?" said an ancient
dame to a grinning little tar-pot. "Well,
if l goes by what mudder says, is most
10, but if goes by de fun Use had, Use
most 1O0."
ONE Of the leading dailies of Chicago
has resolved not to notice baseball
games hereafter. 1t wants oil its space
for reports Of divorce cases.-NIorris-
torn Herald.
DEACON JONES was happy, indeed,
when he was told that his daughters,
dear girls, had gone to the revival.
Their mother didn't tell him that it was
a revival of ." Pinafore. boston Tran
script.
A UTICA clergyman had occasion to
refer in q sermon to the prophet Jonah,
and the report says that he delicately
spoke of him as having "passed three
days and three nights in the whales
ahem-society.
A TURKEY was shut up in a cellar in
Clarke, Va, and lived five weeks with
out food or water. It is said that the
turkey was forgotten, but we are in
clined to think that is really the way
turkeys are fattened for the city market.
AT young ladies' seminary recently,
during an examination in history, one
of the pupils was Intercepted thus:
"Mary, did Martin Luther die a nat
ural death p "No," was the reply, che
was communicated by a bull. liar
yard LanpOon.
FIGURES won't lie, maybe, but you
can't bet.on the breadth of a mans shout
ders or the girth Of a.wman's-ha-chos
by measure outside the dress or coat.
Oh, no, they won't lie, figures won't.
But Newark cashier can make them
dissemble little.
A LITTLE boy asked mamma the fol-
lowing question, to which all mammals
answers arenotyet recorded: Mamma,
if q bear should swallow me 1 would
die, wouldn't ~" eyes, dear" "And
would 1 go to heavcn2" eyes, dear. >
"And would the bear have to go,
too?"
THE Use OF THE BEAUTIFUL.
When falls the soulful moonbcam
Upon the backyard fonce,
And tuneful feline choriFt rs
! Their serenade commence,
Tho suffering msthetic,
His utterance forgot,
Hurls madly through the midnight
HIS tOO-too sunhowcr pot.
PRoF. BIzzOzERO, of Turin, has dis
covered new and important constituent
of the blood, which he calls "blut-
plattchen." They are lenticular bodies
aggregated around the colorless corpus
cles. 1t is enough to make q man sit
down and cry with modification to think
that he has to go around with things
like that in his blood, and no why of get.
ting them out.-l'ttrdette.