The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-07-22
HERE'S LUCK
And May Your Shadow Never
Grow Less,
As You Peruse the Religious Col.
umn.

Fellow fryers in this mundane bake.
ovenl
How do you like it as far as you've
got?
Shall we put any more wood N the
stove?
How did you manage to crawl through
last week, anyhow?
Wasn't il q scorcher?
Over two thousand beefsteaks died In one
hour, and were buried without an inquest.
Yes, you bet, they were put under the
ground quick.
Everybody knew what was the matter
with them. They were "prostrsted by the
heat"
In st. Louis the thermometer had to be
tied down with ropes, and one broke its
bonds and stood on its head on the top OF
the court house dome and reached for the
sun.
Yes, Mercury went way upward, then sat
down on the cloud and wagged his feet
around his head so he could fan himself
with his wings hitched to his heels.
You bet it was hot. Why you couldn't
stand on the ground and reach up and hold
your hand on q three-story tin roof min
ute. 1t was so hot-and high.
People who wouldn't speak to a "work-
ingmsn" two weeks ago, took of their hats
to Schater every time he passed by. They
said he was q nice man but ice men up
stuck their noses, and weighed out . fro
zen dewdrop for ten cents drop.
and that's how they made sun while the
hay shone.
Oh, you may say, "give US rest" and
all that; but we're doing this preachi ng,
and il you don't like the way We talk,
you'll find contribution box nailed on
the front door, and you can pay your nick
lie in il as you pass out.
tell you it was hot, and people power
full thirsty. People should be careful about
their drinks in hot weather. Take il by
degrees and watch the thermometer. When
you get up to SO stop right there That's
hat q thermometer is for-and the man
who wants more than 90 drinks is hog.
Talking about drinks:
He held the old shirt by the neck before
discarding it forever, but he wasn't mourn
ing for the garment. He only said thusly ::
wish had the money for all the drinks
that have gone through that old neck
bank"
Stranger, its q long time since you and
sung song together. The last song We
sang was an invitation to Johnny to fill up
the bowl, but he said the bowl and the
slate were both broke. As we gazed upon
the remains, We gently murmured, when
shall we three meet again ?" and departed.
The reason we haven't been here before,
though, was that we have been to Wash.
ington to examine Mrs. jerks. We found
Mrs. J., like her native State, most all
bayou.
But to our song. It's late one. Got
in the house at o'clock this morning
through the back window. The big bald
headed man will now murder the bass
drum:
Gabriel sat on hickory tree,
Hoist up your attic window,
Shouting out that mercy free,
Sinners go long
You grease your wings you flip on high,
Hoist up your attic window,
You turn q somersault in the sky,
Sinner. go long.
9 Josiah, you'll expire,
Kiss me on my aching brow,
Sinners go long.
Sister Ruth she went TO church,
Hoist up your attic window,
The scriptures she was bound to search;
Sinners go long.
She found Dan locked in de lions den,
Hoist up your attic window,
She told IL 10 her brother Glenn;
Sinners go long.
Nebieumneyer was king of The Jews
Hoist up your attic windos.
He stood leven foot in his old gum shoes,
Sinners go long.
No roof on the house the water come in,
Hoist up your attic window,
He kept himself dry by drinking gin;
Sinners 20 long.
III there is anything we like to encour-
age, it is youth. We never yet saw two
boys tying a tin can to q dogs tail but
what he felt thrill of-pity for the dog.
All the innocence OF youth Youth is
III that cuss OF a bootblack didn't give me
this lead quarter, don't want q cent y
As We were saying, we like TO encourage
youth. Here is one, seven years old, who
ought to be encouraged:
'Dea uncle george please get me q new
foundland dog. want a puppy. i hope
you are we'll like am, 90 to school now
and have recess. j am bad off for the dog,
send him as soon as you can, send my
love to you for christ sake amen.
send boy dog.
ROBERT S. H."
He got the "boy" dog.
Here's little curiosity going the rounds
that is good. When we say il is good, that
is sufficient for you:
"Habit" is hard to overcome. If you
take of the first letter it does not change
"a bit" III you take off another you still
have q "bit" left. Ii you take of still
another, the whole of I'll" remains. If
you take off still another it is not 81"
totally used up. ALI Of which goes to
show that if you wish to be rid of "habit"
you must throw it of altogether.
That's the way we stopped chewing to-
bacco on the plains, two hundred miles
from 8 store.
This here meeting will close with "The
Backbiter" Heaven knows, we would
like to wind up with back scratcher but
how can fellow get around behind him.
self? So stick to the clothes brush or rub
your back against the corner of the door
iamb, which is one of the most ansatisfac-
tory things we ever struck in life. But hear