davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-12-19
HEALTH & HOME
WASHINGTON, ID. G.

Sworn Subscription List 49,. 10000.
EDITED By w. II. HALE, NJ. d.
This is large eight page, forty col-
umn, monthly paper, and is devoted to
everything per, aiming TO Health & Home.
Marriage, Social Silence, Domestic Me-
dicine. Science, Literature, Art, Econo-
my, Cookery Hints on Health, nietet-
les, Fancy Work for the Ladies, Puzzles
for the Boys, and every realm Of Modern
Science that tends to Improve health,
prevent disease, purify morals, and make
home happy.
SAMPLE COPIES FREE.
Subscription Price, so Cents Per Year
(Which can be sent in postage s,amps.)
Address
HEALTH AND HOME,
June 20. 1884. Washington, u. g
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-12-19
WIT AND IIUMOR.
SPREAD iT raIS. Som of the butte E

'fNcAo AZ diS. BON oil TIE butte r
sold in Austin is not very COOL.
DO you want some butter on your
.breai?' asked Johnay's step her, in
cosxing tone OF voice, there being
company Mt tho table.
just suit yonrself.' replied the .elf.
sacrificing little. fellow. 'bu, if YOU
spread 'tas thin as you usually do, I
wos't get mono OF the bad taste in NV
mouth. nohow. l like il best thin, il it
10 like the butter We have when there ia
no company here
BCsiEEss.-'Helio, SAM saii q gen :
ieman to an old negro riding along ON
a-mnle, where did you get that heastY
Il buycd i'm. in cou'se, boss; yc'
didn't think 1 stoled i'm. did ye'2.
4 wasn't sure. What did you give for
Limf'
igib my note. sab. for fa~ty dollah..
Your note, SamP'
In cou'se sah'.
Why. you'Il never pay it,
'Coa'se wont boss. ye' don't rec.
kon dat man specks rse gwine to pay
10 dat male an pay TO dat note besides,
dos ye' No. sah. hits ez much a, dis
nigga kin do TO pay TO do mule
How much dii Mr.. Smith give you
at his wedding? asked = minister's wife
81 her husband. Two dollars Well
that's worry insignificant sum for rich
man like Mr.. Smith to pay for such a
service 1T does seem q email amount,
he replied. but you must remember he
has beer married before
W hat is. q weather rcportT asked q
small boy.wbo was reading paper. Il
don't know precisely, but l suppose
that thunder is one kind Of weather re-.
port responded his parent.
When little Willie l. first heard
The braying Of q mule he was greatly
frightened, but after thinking a minute
ne smiled at his fear saying; Mama,
just hear that poor horse with the
whooping cough
passenger over the Richmond, Fred.
erlcksburg and Potomac Railroad relates
the following: Tho cars were passing
over trestlo. and just in fro-t OF Inc
eat an old colored woman, who showed
great alarm, and as it afterwards turned
out,imsgined that the whole train OF cars
was flying through the air. 1t was not
many minutes, however, before the cars
passed safely over the tres,le. and as
they struck terra firma, tho old woman
drew a Sigh Of relief and exclaimed in
lie Deum tone OF voice: Thank ths
Lord, she's lit.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-12-19
EfyHfz1sgsI|||isl
How Lost. HOzC Restored!

HOlO Lost, HO1C Restored!
jest published, a new edition Of DR.. CUL.
yERWELLS Gel brsted Essay on the Iadica.
Cure OF Spermatoi rhes Semins Weakn essi
lnvolunt ary Seminal Losses, Impotency, Men
tai and Physica lncapacity. Impediments to
Marriage. ETC.: also, Consumption, Epilepsy 40 d
Fits, induced by self-indulgence, or sexual e1
tavagance, &c.
The celebrate author, in this sd mirable es
say. clearly demonstrates from a thirty years
successful practice, that the alarming conse-
quences Of selfabuse may be radically cured
pointing out mode of cure at once simple
certain and e8ec,ual, by means of which
every sufferer, matter what his condition
may be, may cure himself cheaply, privately and
radically.
so- This Lecture should be in the hands OF
every youth and every man in the land
Sent under seal. in a plain envelope, to an v
address, post paid on receipt OF four cents or
two postage stamps Address
TIE CULVERWELL MEDICAL co,
Ann ST, New York; Y; Posiofics Box $50.
july IL, ls5I.-3m
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-12-19
Ponies for Sale!

Shetland and Zscstecas PONIES, sl
colors, little beauties, just the thing ior
ladies' and children - largest herd OF fan
cy ponies IN Arerics--men wanted
TO sell tbem--$100 per month or 90
beautiful illustrated group Of spotted
ponies, general descriptive list. prices,
terms, particulars, etc. sent for 30 cen"
silver. Address. PROPRIETOR"
Don CaloS Horse Ranch, Leon Spipgs'
Bexsr Co., Terings
august ]. 1884 6m, KS.
South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-12-19
For Sale Cheap.
Engines, Sd,C Nils
AND THRESHERS.

Good IA new onband-fron purrha,,s
failing 20 give security Satisfaction
guaranteed. SAVE MONEY by writ,.
Tor free CIr,u ats I, Ill kinds OF ibspre,.
I'd Mschiner,. &c.
CAKSKADON & PARSONS,
General Agency, Kerser,W Va.
Feb. &. 1891.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
Wedding Days.

There are favored days in the week for mar
riages, as well as favored months in the year.
Saturday, Sunday and Monday are the most
in esteem-Sunday in the rural districts and
Saturday in the towns. Itappears, however,
that Sunday weddings are generally less nu-
merous than they were, while Saturday wed.
dings are on the increase.
Friday is deemed an unlucky day for mar
riages, as for most other undertakings In
the county of Gloucester there were but 90
Friday marriages in 1881, to two hundred and
thirteen on Saturday, two hundred and eleven
on Monday and two hundred and three ON
Sunday. In the city Of Manchester much
the same proportion holds out. The Friday
weddings were but twenty-four to two hun
dred and eighty seven on Saturday, two hun
dred and twenty.one on Sunday and one hun
dred and seventy eight on Monday.
In Scotland, on the other hand, Friday is
the great day for marrying; nearly half the
weddings for a given year are celebrated on
that day. Sunday in Scotland is practically
dies non for matrimonial purposes; and
the Saturday weddings are exceedingly few.
The English prejudice against Friday mar
riages in general does not extend to Good
Friday-at least in certain town districts
for, whereas the average of Friday marriages
in Manchester was in 1881 but 21S, on Good
Friday there were celebrated as many as
thrty.six. There are no figures, however, to
show that this is a common state of things
The one day in the year on which more
marriages are celebrated in Scotland than on
any other is December 81, which is doubtless
explained by the fact that New Years day is
observed there as a general holiday. In Eng
land no one day is in the same positions but
the favorte wedding days aie Christmas Day,
Easter Monday, Whitsun Monday, and the
days preceding and following them, and then
the August bark holiday. ,a ua asi ao.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
Uncle SAM and Brother Jonathan y

The origin of the terms "Uncle SAM" ap.
piled to the Unitel States Government, aud
Brother Jonathan" applied in the first in
stance to the people of New England, and
sometimes to the people ofthe whole country,
or, rather, to the representative American,
| often proves puzzle. The question how
the terms arose is often asked. The follow
ing seems a correct answer:
After Washington was appointed COM
mander of the patriot army in the Revolution,
he had great trouble in obtaining supplies.
On one occasion, when no way could be de-
vised by him and his officers to supply the
wants of the army, Washington wound up
the conference with the remark, "We must
consult Brother Jonathan" He referred to
Jonathan Trumbull then governor of Con.
necticut, in whose judgment he had conf
dence. Governor Trumbull helped the gen.
eral out of his difficulties, and afterward the
expression used by Washington became a
popular byword in the army and eventually
| nickname for the nation.
The name "Uncle SAM" as applied to the
United States, is said to have originated in
the war of 1919. An inspector of army pro-
visions at Troy, named Samuel Wilson, was
| called by his workmen "Uncle Sam" One
| day somebody asked one ofhis workmen what
the letters ~. s." printed on cask meant
The workman replied that he supposed it
must mean Uncle Sam, The joke was after.
wards spread 10 the army, and this, according
to the historian Frost, was the origin of the
sobriquet. ..
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
How to Select q Cow.

Many persons select cow from their
knowledge OF single indication denoting
quality, but it is claimed that the best sign
tor richness of milk is deep orange color in
side the ears. Such is said to be infallible,
but there accompanying points that assist
the expert in making this selection from
number. After examining the ears, feel the
skin on the rump and observe that it should
be soft, velvety and falls again to its position
when the hand is removed. The hair should
be fine and silky; with a yellowish cast UNI
derneath. The milk veins should be very
prominent, uniform, and the udder well
balanced, extending full to the rear, and well
forward in front to the main milk ducts that
extend along the belly. The bones should
be fine, the eyes mild and expressive, the
body showing tendency to avoid accumu-
lating fat, the teats even and at regular in
tervals, with the escutcheon well defined,
dandruff being easily rubbed therefrom.
and the COW should give indications of
being good feeder.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
2netiral.
IN THE MARSHES.

Old Frost the silversmith has come;
His crisping touch is on the weeds;
The lingering flowers must now succumb,
And sing the death-song to the reeds; F..
The purple phlox, that bends its head
With mournful gaze the marsh-pond DER,
Tomorrow may lie limp and dead ...|
Its feathery tufts to fiaunt no more.
The reeds that were SO tall and slim,
And grew SO straight while ago,
viii bow their head before the grim 60.
Old monitor that warns of snow;
Already has the golden rod
Its Jewels cast into the breeze, r.f -i.-
And the cottonwood, with blackened pod,
Weeps mutely near the willow-trees.
Yet, DER the marsh glory flies,
As-shimmering in the misty gleam-
The gossamer's filmy meshes rise
Like notes that dance in a sunbeam;
And to the mind this fancy comes.
That happily DER those silver threads
Some telegraphic elf-news huns
Its way to insect hearts and heads.
Through the wide reaches frequent rings
The sharp crack of the fowler's gun:
From the marsh-ponds the wild duck springs
The plover's wings flash in the sun;
Upon the city gunncr's shoe
Small warblers in the sedges fall. . 4. .
"All's meat that GENES unto his pot"
The little brown marsh-wren and all.
Ger these low meadows hangs a spell
That holds strange, poetic charm;
hear ii in the far bell,
AS vagrant cattle seek the farm.
Fen in these bleak December days, .
There's gladness for the heart that heeds:
The marsh to ME no gloom conveys.
Though the gray frost be on the weeds.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
A Home.

Despite the popular opinion to the contra
ry, families rarely join the Mutual Admira-
ton Society as to one another. In what
Miss Bremen calls so beautifully the Inner
most, people are apt to be anything but
heroes and heroines. Relatives grow accus-
toned to each others charms aud talents, and
we believe Sir Charles Grandson. the hero
of a novel written in the days of Franklin's
apprenticeship, was perhaps the only brother,
even of that date, who constantly informed
his sisters that "thcir charms were only
equalled by their sensibiity" Usually, at
home, Apollo Belvidere would not be con-
sidered particularly handsome, nor Solomon
much wiser than anybody else; and perhaps
Job might be spoken of as having made quite
enough fuss about those boils of his and ask
| ed if he could try to be more patient. In
fact, if people want to be admired they must
exhibit themselves to strangers. "Our folks"
are not the people to flatter vanity to any
great degree. Yet, after all, home is the only
place where love dwells, where people really
care whether you live or die, where you have
help and sympathy in real trials Though
the world should ring with your name, the
announcement of your death would be read
without sigh, between two mouthfuls of
toast, by your most ardent admirers; and
those who call you charming or delightful,
who are $50 happy" to see you, who are
honored or flattered by your notice should
you achieve some reputation, would perhaps
be chiefly interested in the fact that through
somebody's indiscretion they had actually
found out your full age while those who
never flattered you would lament you for
ever. There is, after all, no place like home.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
A Beautiful Reflection.

Bulwer eloquently says: can not believe
that earth is mans abiding place. 1t cannot
be that our life is cast up by the ocean of
eternity 10 float upon its waves and sink into
nothingness; else, why is it that the glorious
aspirations which leap like angels from the
temples of our hearts. are forever wandering
about unsalisfied? Why is it that the rain
bows come over us with a beauty that is rot
of this earth, aud then pass off and leave us
to muse upon their favored loveinessp Why
is it that the stars, which hold their festivals
around the midnight throne, are set above the
grasp OF our limited faculties, forever hooking
us with their unapproachable glory? And
finally, why is it that bright forms of human
beauty are presented to our view, and then
taken from us, leaving the thousand
streams of our affections 10 flow in Alpine
torrents upon our hearts?
We are born for higher destiny than that
of earth there is realm where the rainbow
never fades, and where stars will spread be-
fore us like islands that slumber in the
ocean where the beings that pass before us
like shadows will stay in our presence for
ever.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
A Picture of lS4S.

We were still natien of hand-workers.
There was not mower or harvester in exist
ence. No house contained sewing machine.
The telegraph had begun in Washington and
ended at New York twelve months before.
The laud was lighted with candles after
nightial. The spinning wheel and shuttle
sounded in every farmers house. Butter was
unmarkeiable a hundred miles from the
dairy. The steam saw mill had just begun
To devour the forest From east TO west was
the pilgrimage of a life; IRON north TO south
was voyage of discovery. The rich were
lavish in an abundance which was not yet
coveted by the keen eye of commerce. Tie
poor had enough, and in the comforts of life
were almost on a par with the rich. The
lord of a thousand acres sat with his harves-
tiers at dinner. He who counted his posses
sions by The square mile kept open house tor
the wayfarer. The epoch of haste had not
come. The sun rose quietly and set at lei
sure. A days journey was serious matter.
The canvass covered wagon was the ark OF
trade. The saddle was the emblem of speed.
Men slept yet in their beds. The day began
with the dawn and not with the trains arri-
val. The turnpike was still The great artery
Of trade The highways were dusty and
pepuIous. There was lime TO live. Drawn
and brain Went hand in hand. W
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
miscellaneous.
The Minister'S Call.

Good morning, Mrs. Mintyw observed
the Rector as the door opened 10 his knock.
The door seemed to have q surly way with
it, and opened scarcely wide enough to let
the Rector in, although Mrs. Minty invited
him to enter, and brushing some invisible
dust from chair with her apron, she asked
him to sit down. ...... -| .........
The Rector saw at once that Mrs Minty
was not pleased but he could not surmise
what was the matter. He had accidentally
heard that day of the sickness of her daugh-
ter, and at the first opportunity had called to
see the young girl. Not seeming to notice
the mothers manner he said: 81 heard that
Miss Maria is sick"
YES and she might ha died for all she's
seen of you," replied Mrs. Minty, with an
energy that almost shook the good Rector
out of his seat. The Rector was a good man,
and overlooking the readiness of her reply,
he asked How long has she been sick"
Two weeks and over" replied the moth
"Have you had physician ?" inquired the
Rector.
Had physician! What question Why
the girl has been almost dead wonder you
got here before she was dead Had physi-
clan " These last words Mrs Minty fairly
ground out between her teeth, with ill-sup-
pressed scorn.
1t now became evident that Mrs. Minty on
each day of her daughters sickness and the
Reclor's delay in calling had added to her
wrath, and it had now reached degree of in
tensity that suggested strategy or flight. The
Rector resolved to try the former first.
"Ah you have had physician ?" he said.
How did he happen to call?"
How did he happen to call Well, did one
hnap ,,fp ,,xl,, tInt
"Perhaps some one told him Miss Maria
dropped in" said the Rector
"Do you suppose I'd let my own daugh-
ter lie sick in the house and not send for the
doctOrW fairly screeched Mrs. Minty.
"Oh, you sent for him, did you?" said the
Rector
DO you think he'd come if we didn't send
for him? How'd he know Maria was sick ?"
replied the mother, looking at the Rector as
though she pitied his stupidity.
"Do you always send for the physician
when you want him asked tine Rector, with
provoking mildness.
well, | declare" exclaimed Mrs. Minty.
What do you ask such question as that
for ?"
81 did not know" said the Rector, "but
that as you expected the clergyman 10 find
out as best he could that your daughter was
sick, without sending for him, you might do
the same thing with the physician" ...
Something had been gradually dawning
upon Mrs. Mintys mind, which the last words
of the Rector, uttered with inimitable good
nature, resolved into full intellectual sur.
mise. Her severe face relaxed into a broad
smile. "Oh, l see see" she exclaimed. ~
thought them was mighty queer questions.
Well, guess ought to ha' sent for you, too,
seeing as how sent for the doctor. And
you didn't know Maria was sick? ?"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
VOL. XXIX---NO. 49,.
VARIETIES.

After her grandmother had given her
good scolding, a little mischief was overheard
to say to herself: Somebody is cross in this
room faint me, and faint dolly and faint
kitty. wonder who it is ?" .aas
"A practical poultry raiser says that the
following receipt Is sure cure for gapes:
Take two quarts of cracked corn, two table
spoonsful of good wood asLes, sifted, and
table spoonful of ground black pepper; mix
the whole and scald it. Feed four times a
day. a.., Hjgi .,....,i f.rt.t .,-.,i
"A cynical old bachelor, who firmly be-
icves that all women have something to say
on all subjects, recently asked female friend,
swell, madam, what do you hold on
this question OF female suffrage?" To him
tue lady responded calmly, "Sir, l hold my
tongue"
Now" said the photographer, taking
hold of the cloth over the Instrument, "are
You all ready?" Yes" replied the custo-
mer. We'll, just keep your eye on that
sign he said, pointing 10 a legend on the
wall which read Positively no Credit, land
look pleasant"
"A change in degree: A French widow
took on dreadiully ut the funeral of her hus-
band. "Why, madam" said her maid, you
hated him SO while living do not see why
you should ''e so demonstratve now that he
is dead "Why, Llzetle, don't hate him
half SO much now as did"
-Doclor-"Well, how are we to-day?"
Patitnl-"Oh, I've had a miserable day, doc
tor But yourwite says you haven't groan-
ed at all TO day, while yesterday" Patient
Good reason Thought there wasn't any
body 'ror adj Tpat woman is always taking
an unfair advantage OF me-"
II have read every book in my husbands
library. really don't know what to do for
something to read d" said a newly married
womanto II friend ''Why don't you get
another husband?' was the reply ofthe other
party, who he'd some experience. The above
is SAID to have occurred in Boston.
Some one has said that conjugal affec-
ton largely depends on mutual confidence.
A friend of ours quoted this sentiment the
other day in the smoking room, and added
that he made il a rule TO tell his wife every
thing that happened, and in this way they
avoided any misunderstanding. "Well, SIR"
remarked another gentleman present, not to
be outdone in generosity, you are not so
open and frank as am for tell my wife
good many things that never happened"
"Oh' exclaimed third, Il am under no
necessity TO keepmy wife informed regarding
my affairs. She can find out five times as
much as know without the least trouble"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-12-12
Mince Pies.

3 lbs lean fresh beef boiled, when cold,
chopped fine.
1 ID. beef suet, cleared of strings and minc-
ed to powder.
lbs. apples, pared and chopped.
3 lbs. raisins, seeded and chopped.
9 lbs. currants, washed.
h. citron, cutup fine.
2 tablespoonful cinnamon.
teaspoonful powdered nutmeg.
2 tablespoonful mace.
1 tablespoonful cloves.
tablespoonful allspice.
tablespoonful fine salt.
2t lbs. brown sugar
quart brown sherry
pint best brandy.
Mince meat made by this receipt will keep
all winter in cool place. Keep in stone
Jars, tied over with double covers. Add a
little more liquor Gf it should dry OUT, when
yon make your pies. Let the mixture stand
twenty -four hours before it is used.