National Republican., 1884-06-28
a rn1N MAN,s p1oN1c.
The Tumuituous aud EShilarating
Time Experienced by Lean Citl-
zen Out in tho Woods.

The TumuituOus nud Bxhilarnting
Time Experienced by N Lean Citl-
zen Out in tho Woods.
Carontcto- Telegraph.
"Where you boon, Jarphly ~ asked tho
man with the Cold Tea Scheme of the
Thin Man without o shirt collar.
"Picnic," torsoly responded tho Thin
man.
"Picnio?"
"Yaas; picnic. Sunday school picnic"
Enjoy yourself2"
"Never had so much fun since swal-
lowed tack" replied the Thin man
viciously.
Great time, heyp
ooh, immense. Great time no namo
for IL. Ever been to oneP"
"Not for many years." replied tho Cold
Tea Man cautiously.
"Then you've missed IL. You've missed
IL bad. You go tho first chance you get
1t will do you world Of good. You'n
think ingrowing too nails, smallpox,
cholera morbus, broken leg, anything,
in fact, Is paradise after you've been to
ono," and the Thin Man jabbed a tooth
pick In his ear vigorously.
Explain to me how IL works." mildly
suggested tho Cold Tea Man.
"Oh, IL works all right. You'll find It
out after you got there. 1t works itself.
Ny wife says to me: Our church has O
Sunday school picnic Thursday, and I'm
afraid to let Jonnie go alone You see.
that's an excuse she had to get OFF her.
self oh, women are cute. Then she
asked me IL 1 wouldn't like to go. and
tollr cd abnnN aA Cd ha -. 4
cream, and wings and wild roses. until 1
up and like pigeon -toed fool says, yes"
And you wentp
ooh, yes, 1 wont. I've been there.
I'm patriarch. l can go to the supreme
lodge now. Pm through all tho degrees.
You bet" and the Thin Man nearly
choked himself trying to swallow the
tooth pick whole.
Pm interested" said the Cold Tea Man.
"Oh, I'll interest you. l was interested
myself. First of they saddled baskets
enough on me TO kill mule and every
body wanted to know why didn't hurry
up, and the minister, who weighs 15C
pounds more than do, was carrying O
bunch of buttorcups and q parasol. Then
they got me to build fire to make coffee
and sat around and watched me fetch my
own wood. Then the coffee upset and
scalded my leg, and the women said il
was too bad.
what, the leg2"
mo, darn the leg; spilling tho coffee
Then my boy Johnnie fell into the river
and | had to go in after him, aud by the
time I'd worked up an appetite they'd
ate up everything, and Martha said
ought to go of somewhere, where nobody
could SEQ me, and dry my clothes, and
everybody wanted to know If L wasn't
enjoying myself. / think I'd have en-
joyed myself more if things had been
different. But 1 had some fun"
"What was it ?"
"Why, you see there's mighty trim
neat little widow teaches class in Sun.
day school, and she and Martha don't have
much to say to one another. But she IL
always very sociable and polite with me
She wanted to 20 off and look for scarle
runners in the brush, but was afraid o
snakes. / told here there was no snakes
around there and just to ease her mind
escorted her in search of the scarlet run
ners 1t was hot, and the air was close
and full of bugs and mosquitoes; 80 afte
we'd looked about awhile and she'd got q
lot of flowers she sat on log, and it wa,
so warm that out of mere kindness
famed her with my hat. We were talk
ing over church matters, and about tn,
last conference, and how the congregation
felt about raising the minister's salary
when heard the bushes cracking, aud
the next minute Martha came bouncing
around. Fun! Well l should smile
Picnic! No name for it, The way sh
and the widow went at it was a Who'll,
summer nights festival"
"Great fun, hey?" said the Cold TIE
Man.
"Oh, immense. 1 have been sleeping
on the lounge in the parlor ever SINCE"