The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-02
4 cAMP-arEETING SERMON
On the Difficulty of Finding Game When
Going Cunning for Christians.


Going Cunning for Christians.
''Betsey Hamilton in Atlanta Constitution.
It do look like pity after good sarmont has
been preached for SIGH a man as old brother Cole
to git up and Spite it all The fust night after
we'uns got thar Mr.. Morris preached a good sar-
mont He said enough and not too much, and
it was gittin' late, but he called on brother
Cole and he riz and ranted for about nour
Brethering and sistering," says he, II tell
you Christian rail sho' -nuff Chdistian-air a
monstrous hard thing to find ar. A counterfeit
dollar or split aig looks as good as any tel you
comes to examine it ar and bust it ar, then
! you'll find, my brethering, that thars a mighty
| sight of difference ar, and so tbs with Chris
tian or ruther folks what calls themselves Chris
tians ar. My brethering and sistering eff was
called upon to shoot a Christian / would take
aim and pint my gun all around at fust one and
then tother everybody dodged) to see who I'd
shoot and who | wouldn't al, (he
stretched out his arms and took aim
at each one. Most anybody will dodge
if you pint at ein) and, brother Simpson, you
needn't think Id shoot you. for wouldn't told
Miss Cass sot right down nigh the pulpit listenin,
and waitin' for the time to shout and Miss Pa
thence Potter was fannin away with her tiir-
key tail, hoping he would pint at her for Chris
tian) and brother Robertson, / wouldn't shoot
you ar, and brother Gallagher, wouldn't shoot
you ar, and sister Pinkney, wouldn't shoot you
az. nor likewise you. sister Freshours ar told
Miss Freshours had lodged behind sister Pink
neyl and likewise also You, sister Haskins, nor
none of your worldly bindings on that bench al.
MRS. Haskins had on new Sunday bonnet)
tell you my sistering, fine close can't take no.
body to heaven ar, and brother and sister Jones'
wouldn't shoot nair one of y0uuns ar, and like
wise also / wouldn't take aim at nair one of them
ali on -cnnsarned sinners on them back benches
ar, what comes here to meetin' to set up and
sleep ar, and tothers to laugh and talk ar
Oh you on-consarned, benighted, unworthy
sinners, ar, you needn't dodge ar, kase
wouldn't shoot a har of your head
ar. You that has back-sliJl. and back-slid and
back-slid ar, and KEEP a gittin furder and furder
back ar tel you've done got plum back to them
back benches ar, / say it, and say it agin ar. I
wouldn't shoot nair one of you1lnses ar Oh
you on worthy sinners, couldn't in reason shoot
marry one of you ar. As was gwine to say ar
Christian a INDUSTRIOUS hard thing to find
ar, and when you starts out to shoot one, it amt
like shootin' squirrels that you can find any
whars on the spring branch ar Christians, my
brethering, is as skase as hens teeth ar, and
when you tries to find Christian to shoot ar.
it's pine blank like huntin for needle III a hay
stack ar.
ssAs I was gwine on to say ar, ef was com
missioned to shoot Christian, bretherine. I'd
load my gun, I'd put in a big load of buck shot
ar, and ram the load in good ar, and take per-
ticker aim ar and as said before, wouldn't
aim at none of you'uns ar. I'd pint it right down
thar at sister Cass ar, and sister Cass I'd pull
the trigger ar and FIRE the whole load into YOU ar
Then old Miss Cass ciapped her hands and sot
in to shoutin Glory, glory, gloree -eeee at the
top of her voice, and meetin broke.