Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-22
SCIssORED. SAYINGS.

Lost at C-The hoarse sopranos notes.
"Good-morning, Murphy. Are those
your children ?" "Yis, sOr; that is nv
small potato crop" why do you say
that?' Because, sor, hey are al little
Murphies."
"There is nothing impossible to the
determined spirit says philosopher.
Evidently that philosopher never tried
TO reach up behind his shoulder to get
hold OF the end of broken suspender.
A little boys grief upon being refused
permission to attend circus, was in part
assuaged by the assurance from his
mother tha: if he would dry his tears he
might 90 and see his father have tooth
extracted.
A gentleman who was dining with a
young married couple in Kansas, asked,
rather abruptly. "Ever lad cyclone
here?" The yeung people looked guilt
lily at each other, blushed and changed
the subject.
The cold wave from the North comes down,
It's bracing and it's nice;
But goodness sakes alive 1t makes
girls nose cold as ice.
"What is ynur name?" asked Judge
Powers. "Do ly Tmple" Where do
you re-ile ?" Tue witness giggled and
replied: whats the use of me telling
you where live? You wouldn't call on
me, anyhow, would you, judge"
you fairly worship the ground that
girl walks on, Billy" said Jack, "and l
can't see why. She's as cold as block
of ice" 81 know she is" returned Bill
ly; "but it's such jolly f,ln to 90 up three
times q week and thaw her."
How beautiful thost two o!d people
look, sitting together at the Ereside p
exclaimed Il sentimental young lady
81 wonder what they are talking about ?''
Probably fighting their battles DER
again. replied her natter-of-fact COM
panion.
Young lady I'm the drawing-r room)
"Just listen! | can hear the gentlemen
laughing. ! believe thev tell all their
good stories directly we're out of the
dining room" Experienced and rath-
er severe matrCn. "Good stories. dear
Nc-'good' is not the word"
A minister having preached the same
discourse to his people three times, one
of his constant hearers, who "as a mem
ber of the Legislature, said to him after
service: doctor, the sermon You gave
us this morning having had three sever
al readings, l move that it now be pass.
ed"
How very neatly child NAV some
times get out of a scrape is shown by
the story of a little nephew WHO had to
he the guest of his aunt, and who, on
being asked at dinner if he had not
been helping himself secretly to JAM
said quietly: "Plcase, auntie, pa never
lows me TO talk at meals"
Osca' Wilde has invented a new hat
1t expands or contracts with the head
brim is full, it has q mUfiied bell and
the band is not loud. 1t is specially
adapted for night wear, and viii contain
. moderate supply of bricks, thereby
commt nding itself to the Masonic frater.
nifty.
Miss Rosebud: "Do you know, Mr.
Palette, never kne before to-day that
you and l were from the same State
Delawarew Palette; Same State
Miss Rosehud? Why, am New En-
gl1nder. | live in Massachusetts,
Miss Rosebud: "Then, why do you al.
ways rut 'Del' after your name m you1
pictures"
my dear, look down below" said he
as he stood on Brooklyn Bridge with mis-
wife gazing at tug hauling long line
of barges. ''SHch Is life the tug is like
a man working and toiling, while the
barges, like women, are - know,
interrupted she, acridly; "the tug does
all the blowing, and the barges bear the
burden"
Are there anv mitigating circnm-
stances in the case of the man who is 90
ing to be hung tomorrow" asked a
stranger of the lawyer ofthe accused
"Yes. You see he is an unmarried man.
How easy it would have been for him to
have brought wife and children into
misery and distress, if he had not had
consideration for them by refusing TO
get married"
"What ale you dong, Mary ?" asked a
Staten Island husband, addr essing
his wife. 81 am sewing on crazy
quilt" she replied. Are there any but
tons on it?" mo" Il thought not" he
said, at wouldn't be like you to be sew
ing on anything that needed buttons,
and, drawing a deep sigh, he proceeded
to fasten his suspenders with hall
burned match,