The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-07
AN OLD TRAVELLER.
His Adventures and Experiences in
Sleeping Cars.
New York Times.

The old traveller paused He sighed. He
drank cup of coffee He ate roll. He re-
flected
81 suppose, he said at last that my expe-
rience last night was a punishment for some
very sharp practice on my part the last time
l came through from Buffalo, when | did a
countryman from Elmira out of his lower
berth, and made him sleep in the upper one
1t was clever play though. You see, when
| went to buy berth at the Pullman ticket
office all the lower berths We're taken, and |
had to take an upper one. But | didn't
intend to sleep in it. l knew
could get my work in on somebody
on that car, and sure enough l did. As
soon as the train started | saw that one sec
ton on the opposite side of the car was unoc-
cuped, and | took occasion to present the
porter with quarter. Then | asked him
carelessly who had that section over there
He said it belonged to a gentleman who was
going to get on at Elmira, and l told him
thought SO; that gentleman was particular
friend of mine and had been expecting him.
l lied, l know, and l admit it was wrong, but
l chose the lesser of two evils whether to
harrow my soul with the guilt of lying or
my body with the anguish of being jolted in
the roof of a sleeper. | concluded that my
soul could stand the strain best. Well, |
went over to the man who had the top berth
of that section and lied to him, too. told
him that a particular friend of mine-the
same friend l told the porter about-was go
ing to get on at Elmira, and would he mind
changing berths, SO that my very dear friend
and l could be togetheri He very politely
made the change, and ordered the porter to
make up both berths before we got to Elmira,
which we reached along in the middle of the
night, SO that this dear friend might find his
bed ready as soon as he got on to the train.
Then, at bedtime, got into the bottom berth,
and fell into the sweet slumber of the right
eous. Along about midnight | heard the
voices of the porter and a stranger mingled
in conversation at my side, but | kept my
eyes closed and, so far rs outward appear
ances went, slept on peacefully.
"'Gol darn it, heard the stranger say, Il
ordered the lower berth a purpose, cause
can never sleep in top one. Wake the fell
low up and get yer ladder for him
"I tell you the gemmen's friend of yours
I heard the porter say. He bought dis here
berth a puppus cause you had the other
"Lets have look at him. growled the
stranger. Il don't know the beggar,' he
said, after peeping between the curtains.
He looks like bank robber l bet he carries
pistol, and guess | might as well get up
on top. I've no Use for arriving in New York
with a bullet-hole in my system He did get
up on top, and in the morning the porter and
the fellow who had exchanged berths with
me, and the dutfer who slept above me were
all very much surprised to see how coolly
ignored my very dear friend. But think,
from the way the porter chuckled when |
hon. hat h., tt,,t,, la1
To the racket, to use "A vulgar metaphor.
Never was SO amused in my life" said
calmly the old traveller, "as one time when |
was travelling in the western part of the state.
There were two awfully stunning young la
dies in the sleeper who occupied the seat next
to mine They were travelling with the
father of the older one, and he and his daugh-
ter had the whole section on the opposite side
of the car and the other had the lower berth
opposite that one, and consequently next to
mine. | sat with my back to them and heard
them decide to sleep together that night in
the berth next mine, and they said they were
SO glad that ton berth wasn't occupied, be-
cause they wouldn't be disturbed by having
anybody climbing up there for anything in
the world, and then 1t was such a lovely place
to put their things for the night. Well, every
thing seemed propitious for their plans until,
just rs they were preparing to retire, a fellow
got on at station. He was one of those
would be Washers, you know-a regular swell.
He got the top berth of theirs, it being the
only one i'll the car that was vacant, and the
porter came and told them they'd have to
take their wraps and their hats and all their
other things out of it.
Isn't that just too horridr said one of
the young ladies.
"rhe masher was close behind the porter,
and he got up a most delightful smile and
said:
81 really trust, ladies, that shall not be
very disagreeable.'
Well they reiterated to the shadow of the
parents wing, and heard one of them say
He shan't think he's made conquest of us. ;
don't believe he did think SO the next morn
ing He went to bed in the top berth, but
not to sleep. The two young ladies were
underneath, and the stern parent slept in the
top berth opposite. Suffering Moses, how
that stern parent did snore. Why l never
heard anything like it. Then the torture of
that unfortunate masher began. oh. do
Just hear that horrid man up above us snore,
young lady No. would say, in a perfectly
audible tone, as her father gave vent to a
particularly violent burst of music. Then
the masher would cough to show that he was
awake and guiltless, anu the young lady.
perfectly aware who was making the noise
would remark Poor papal He can't get
to sleep because of that awful snoring any
more than we can; oh dearr The masher
would cough moro violently, and then his
fair tormentor would say: 4 declare, if he
don't stop snoring | shall rap ON the bottom
of the berth with my shoe. And sure enough
u A.. -
night about it. And you should have seen
how lamb-like and inoffensive that masher