The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

The proverbial school-Doy is thought
to know everything; and he often knows
great deal that is highly original, and
that is known by no one else. Those
replies to Mr. Varnon's questions may
be paralleled by various other exam
pies that are equally founded upon facts.
The inspector who objected to children
being taught to read from books in
which are such sentences as els cat
rat? A fat cat sits on a sod and mods
at mer' was pleased to give lesson on
kindness to animals, and the effort in
writing an essay on the cat resulted in
this: s'Eyery one has heard of Whit
| tington and his cat. II was ut the
| Theater Royal" While the essay on
| the horse was this: 1.-The horse is use-
| full to take men toward and away from
| the enemy" BY the way, according to
Mr.. Mundella, when child was asked
| by an inspector to define "a steed," and
the answer WAS ga horse" he was told
that he was wrong, and that steed
| was "a horse in notion Perhaps
the proverbial school-boy was not aware
| of that!
When asked at Preston to explain
Pope's line. Content to breathe his ma
tive air, the school-boy defined s'native
air. as 1.-THE air of his own 'ead.' At
Chester, being asked to state the rea-
sons that made Magma Charta necessa-
ry, he replied somewhat incoherently,
''The increasing deposition of succeed
hg Kings" In Sussex, being asked to
give an explanation of constant and pc
riodical winds, he answered: ''Hurri-
canes. gales, tempests and zephyr"
| At Westminster being requested to para
phrase Macbeth's .'Canst thou not
minister to mind diseased?" he did so
by writing. Doctor, can you fulfil the
duties of your profession in curing a
woman who is distracted?" Being
asked: ssWhere is Turin?' he wrote,
"Tureen is the Capitol of Chiner; the
people there lives in burds nestes, and
has long tales"
The proverbial school-boy might be
able to answer the most puzzling ques.
tons given to him by hisexaminer; but
the real scbcaAboy viii os:c1, IL Is
replies, travel beyond the region of
facts, and boldly plunge into a sea of
speculation. Three instances shall
suffice in reference to Scripture knowl-
edge; and they are all said to have been
written by Metropolitan School Board
pupils in answer to questions put to
them by Government inspectors. "Who
was Moses?-He was an Egyptian. He
lived in bark maid of bullrushes and
he kept golden cart and worshipt
braizen snakes and he het nothin but
qwhales and manner for forty years.
He was kort by the air of his ed while
ridin' under the bow of tree and he
was killed BY his son Absolon as he was
hanging from the bow. His end was
peace. ssWhat do you know of the
i patriarch Abrahamp-He was the father
of Lot and had tew wives. Wun was
calld Hismales and tother Haygur. He
KEEP wun at home and he hurried the
tother into the dessert where she be-
came pillow of salt in the daytime
and pillow of fire at mite" ''Write
an account of the Good Samaritan. A
certing man went down from jerslam
to jerriker and he field among thawns
and the thawns sprang up and choked
him; whereupon he gave tuppins to the
boast and said tax care on him and put
him on his hone bass. And he past bye
on the bother side"
NY remaining examples are culled
from the blue book of 926 pages, issued
by the Government Council of Educa-
ton a few years since. and they are
therefore to be accepted as authentic.
need not take up space by giving the
questions to which the following re-
plies were given: '.Soiar time is the
time indicated by the moon" ssThe
equator is an imaginary 90 which
passes through the center of the earth
and terminates both ways" 1.-The
heavens that we see are hollow; plain
inference that they enclose sphere .
The sun has an annual motion up and
down." ''Eclipses of the sun and moon
are partial from the speed at which the
bodies are going" s.Solar eclipses are
annular because of the regular and uni.
form motion of the moon, and when the
earth's motion is regular to correspond
with it." 'sThe rotundity of the earth
is its movement 1.-The proof OF its TO.
tundity is vegetation, how some trees
are slanting in different parts of the
world; again, when riding in train,
trees. ETC., appearing to go in con-
trary direction to yourself is convincing
proof that the earth isroupd." Watch
closely the heavenly bodies and we find
belt of pale light nearly dividing the
heavens into two parts; the stars are
more numerous in this part; reason
the earth bulges out"
These answers weres given by the
more advanced pupils; and, on the
testimony of Mr.. Mundella, such ques-
tons as these were given by Her Males.
tvs inspectors to small children in
Standard w: s.What is the use of fire.
flies?" what is the character of the
despotism by which India is gov
erned?' If any answers were made to
these questions they have not been re
corded. But-to wind up this paper
here is a question, with its answer
taken from the report of Rev. G. Steele
at Preston. describe the state of En-.
gland under the Heptarchy.' people
had three meals a day breakfast, din
ner and supper. They retired to rest
! in A state Of nudifv and laid nm n he'd