davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Texas Siftings A great fnancier is a thief
who succeeds. A thief is great fnancier who
fails.
Norristown Herald: A noiseless roller skate
has been invented. There is probably no device
the ingenuity of man can contrive that will make
noiseless the man who uses such skates the hrst
time, and sits down upon the back of his head
with hislegs shooting heavenward. Nothing but
death.
A man who has kept account of the number
of kisses exchanged with his wife since their
union consents to its publication, as follows:
First year, SO 000 second year, 10000; third
year, $780, fourth year, 100; fifth year, 2 He
then left off keeping the record, Burlington
Free Press. cf
II see they have successful railroad in
Africa where the cars stride q SINCE rail. The
system is to be tried in this country. 1t won't
work. The single rail business is something l
have given by undivided attention to for num-
Der of years, and l claim to be an authority
ID. Davis.
Burlington Free Press 80 mamma, If you
Will believe it, " laughed pretty girl on her re-
turn from the picnic, "the boat jolted as we
touched the wharf, and threw me right into the
lap of young gentleman" 'Whyn was the
mortified rejoinder; what did you do2" IL
asked him if he would please excuse my landing
a little prematurely.
Philadelphia Call: Princess Beatrice-Ma,
there's man at the door says helwants to buy
windsor Castle. Queen-Marcy on us! Call
the police He must be a lunatic. There is not
man in England rich enough to buy Windsor
Castle. Princess Beatrice-But he is an Ameri
can. Queen-What is his businessl Princess
Beatrice-He is plumber. Queen-Ask him in.
Ny courage strengthened as gazed;
The words came rushing to my lips;
The old old tale Of love was told,
She glanced down at her finger tips.
And then she spoke in accents low,
While bushes red suffused her cheek,
ut may be wrong for me to ask,
But how much do you get week."
Boston Star.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
zinc judge Had Been Besore Hlm.

5aCIuMBhJu, lIaI,J UHIUh.
Yesterday several gentlemen met in wine
room up town, among them being one who had
lived here years ago, but is now nonresident.
While they were conversing well-known judge
of one of the courts stepped in, and a friend in
troduced him to the returned Sacramentan.
The latter remarked that the introduction was
old acauaintances. One suggested, @Perhaps
you have been before the judge some time in the
past" sOh no." was the reply, "but the judge
has been before me many time sHows thatP
was the immediate query swell, you see, I
used to be bar-keeper in the Crescent City, The
judge paid for bottle Of wine and the conyersa-
finr nh n God
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
BIsMARcK,s PERSONALITY.
Ex-Minister Sargent and His Personal Rela-
tions with the Chancellor.

HOnS VIII Cno CHANCELLOR
Washington Republican.
$50 much has been said already that do not
know what l could add that would interest
your readers" said Hon. A. A. Sargent last
evening in response to request for some rem
iniscences of his experience at Berlin
But the Republican would like to know some
thing about Bismarck's personality and your re-
lations with him. How correct is the picture
that represents him to bea brandy soaked despot
for examplep
He is not that In fact, my personal rela-
tions with him were always pleasant, though
I knew him to be the author of the attacks
upon me. The great trouble with Bismarck is
that he does not seem to be able to understand
that man should have other duties and re-
sponsibilities conflicting with subservience to
his own will 1t was the same with Herr Lasker
as with myself. He was friendly to both until
our duties to constituency or country compelled
us to oppose his schemes He was and is acting
in direct violation of the treaty stipulations be-
tween the two countries this being favored
nation but exposed to extraordinary disadv want
ages by the exclusion of its products. while those
of other countries are freely admitted.
There is one piece of diplomacy on the part
of Secretary Frelinghuysen that the American
press has apparently never appreciated That
was the transmission Of the Presidents reply
through the American minister at Berlin, in
stead of by the hand of the German repre-
sentative here; q direct and prompt reply
to the slight of sending back the Lasker
resolutions through Herr Elsendecker By
the way, the very bad treatment the late
German minister received at the hands of the
government, the recall from this first-class
mission, and appointment to fourth-class one
was all owing to the friendship which existed be-
tween him and myself, and the idea that he was
too favorably disposed toward me.
81 believe that if this country adjoined Ger
many as France does, when the Lasker reso-
buttons were returned after being refused by
Bismarck, he would have thrown an army across
the line. But, of course, we are too far off to
anticipate any such action as that as the result
bern
Mr.. Sargent proceeded.very courteously to ex-
plain the situation leading up to the Lasker Incl
dent and the feeling engendered thereby, but
he should remain here until Thursday when -i he
would proceed to his home and help carry Cali
fornia for Blaine, who, he is confident will be
elected President
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Not q Bad Failure.

New Iork Sun. NeI
Smith-Have you heard Of B. s faiIurel
Jones-No. Is it bad failurea
Smith-Liabilities about 500, Co., that's all
Jones-That's enough. What are his assetsq
Smith-Well, he is very much respected,
teaches class in Sunday is a deacon in
the church, never drinks or smokes, his wife is q
Observation-Disclosures dusenbury, his great great
grandfather came over in the Mayfower, his
mother once shook hands with the Prince Of
Wales, and his brother is an intimate friend Of
Lord Mutanhed. Those are all of his assets, l
believe.
Jones Those are enough. He'll pull through
all right.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Muslin Foxes.
New York Evening Post.


shown on Fourteenth street, designed for tennis,
or morning at the seaside An examination of
one of these delicate looking chapeaux showed
that it was exceedingly easy to make one at
home You must buy white net shape of the
modified poke order. Cut about two inches
off the back, so that it barely rests on the coil
of hair beneath Cover the crown loosely with
dotted or figured net or muslin; then cover the
brim with pleatings of muslin which you have
first edged with narrow lace. Finish off with
cascade of lace, arranged gracefully all around
the crown.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
what nnla rrilau STA

It was an aphorism Of Frederick the Greats
that Facts are divine things An undisputed
fact is that Dr. Pierces Golden Medical Dis
coveryn is the most powerful liver Yitalizcr OK
tant, and by it's characteristic and searching
action will cure dyspepsia, constipation, dropsy
kidney disease sick-headachc, and other mala-
dies which, popular opinion to the contrary not
withstanding are directly traceable to a dis
eased condition Of the liver by which It's work as
purifier of the blood Is made incomplete. All
druggists
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
A Direct Insult.

Judge-You say that the prisoner insulted you.
That is a very serious charge. What did he say
to you, MADAME
Plaintif-He called me spring chicken. And
am not an old woman, asyour Honor can easily
see.
Judge-That is not an insult a spring chick
en- is young and tender should consider it a
compliment rather. 80
Plaintiff You wouldn't if you we're in the same
business am.
Judge-What is thatl
Plaintiff keep boarding house
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Killed by a LightninR-Bur.

DyersvilIc Tenn Gazette
a strange death of a little girl, by accidentally
swallowing a ightning-bug is reported from
Concord. The child was playing in the yard
with q number of other children At her parents
house near Odell's factory, and while laughing
and romping about lightning bug flew into
her mouth, and made its way down her throat
The little girl became suddenly i'll, and though
physicians did everything to relieve hcr suf-
ferings, she died within few hours after
ward. This is the first death from such cause
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19

PERSONS exposed to out-of-d0or work are
especially prone to rheumatism, and when once
rooted in the system its eradication is frequently
considered an impossibility Mr.. A. Myers, who
is a driver for the U. S. Express Company, New
York, adds his To stimony to the merits Of
scarcely able to walk, so severe was his pain,
but few doses Of this sovereign cure speedily
wrought change, and the next day he was free
from his trouble and about his work
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Taking Care Of a Family.

New York Sun,
4 tell you what it is, he said as he begged a
little assistance. Its pretty tough to see ones
wife and children suffering for bread,
You look as though you had all you wanted
to eat"
YES, have to keep myself in good condition.
You see my wife is obliged to stay at home to
take care the children, and if should give out
don't know what they would do. There
wouldn't be anybody to beg Poverty is a bitter
thing, gentlemen
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
A Rapid Traveller.

NEW I OK sun.
press train attains great speed. lightning is
proverbia for its rapidity, comets are supposed
to hurl themselves through space at the rate of
millions Of miles day, but, comparatively speak
ing, all these things are snails nay boy, all
snails."
Why, father replied the young man, lazily
putting twenty five cent cigar, what can pos
sbly go faster than ightningq"
"A iye-doilar bill after it is once broken, my
con
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Not mo- Be Interrupted.

New York Sun.
rs Mr. B., the ice dealer, INF"
es, sir, he is in his private Office; but he is
busy"
WELL want to see him moment I owe
him So, 000 and as | sail for Europe tomorrow
would like to settle the account"
i am very sorry, sir, but he gave strict orders
not to admit anybody unless he came on bust
ness of Importance You will have to call again
when you return from Europe
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19

time his victim lives tell you that is the kind
part of the victim and the crowd, and the ones
like the last and also that of Tuesday next, are
tame affairs compared with my Japanese ex
nerienca u
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Jeffersonville, Madison 8 Indianapolis.

Depart-Southern Express, daily, s........- 41o am
Louisville and Madison Express =. 7:25 am
Louisville and Madison mail, D. c.. 3:5Opm
Louisville Express daily ......... 6:45pm
Acknowledgements and Madison Mail.... 9:45 am
Indianapolis, st. Louis and Chicago
Express, daily P; lo:45 am
New York and Northern Fast Elk.
press = Z; 7:oopm
St Louis, Chicago and Detroit Fast
Line, daily, s...............1o 45 pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Ready for Any Emergency.
New York Sun

New York Sun.
He was seated across the room.
George she said, if fire were suddenly to
break out in the house, what would be your first
impulse, do you think9n
We'll, my first thought would be for you, Of
course. would get you to a place of safety,
and then do what | could to extinguish the
flames.
That would be very nice of you, George, to
think of me first; but if fire were to break out
now, for Instance, wouldn't you lose valuable
time in reaching me from way across the room
Il don't know but would, said George, as he
changed his seat.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
Miss Maria and the Strange Mr.. WILCOX.

MISS MARIA and the Strange MI. WILCOX.
Edward Everett Hales New story. Rachel.
Now the rules of the school allowed the young
ladies to 60 out onlywith the father, the brother
or the fortunate young man to whom she might
be engaged So, when RachePs friend, Maria
Kent, went to ask permission to drive with Mr.
Wilcox, the principal asked:
s.And who is Mr.. Wilcox, Miss Mariap
HE is friend of nine.r
'sYou know the rules, Miss Maria; be is GER
tainly not your fatherr
mo" said Maria, demurely.
'sYou have no half brother named Wilcox7n
mo" said poor Maria
''Are you engaged to the gentlemanqn
mo, said Maria, ''but shall be before we
come homo
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19

nervous by dayl Do your dreams disturb youl
Use DR.. Guysotts Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla.
It will restore you to perfect health, and enable
you to enjoy refreshing, dreamless slumber, such
slumber as is an indication Of perfect health
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19

Chicago. St. Louis & Pi.sbur,.
Depart-New York, Philadelphia. Wash
ington, Baltimore and Pittsburc
Express daily, s........-. dos an,
Dayton and Columbus Express ex.
-cept Sunday -.-.....--...-..--..1o;45 am
Richmond Accommodation 400 pm
New York Philadelphia Washing
ton, Baltimore and Pittsburg Ex-
press daily, s., h............ 4:55 pm
Dayton Express, except Sunday 4:55 pm
ArrVe-Richmond Accommodation except
Sunday ...;.;;.-:.:...e..s. p $40 am
New York, Philadelphia Washing.
ton, Baltimore and Pittsburg Elk
press daily 11:57 am
Columbus and Dayton Express ex.
xeept Sunday 5.27pm
New York, Philadelphia Washing
ton, Baltimore and Pittsburg Ex-
press, daily 1920 pus
Dayton Express, daily, except Sun.
day.. 1920 pm
CHICAGO DIVISION VIA KoKoMo p. c. q ST. L. R. r.
Depart-Louisville and Chicago Express
Pc: ILLS am
Louisville and Chicago Fast Elk.
press daily, Loo pm
Arrlve-Chicago and Louisville Fast Express
daily, s..-.-----.............. 1859 am
Chicago aud Louisville Express,
P. c.----.-.---- $3.50 pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19
VandaIia Line.

Depart-Mar Train ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. Ills am
Day Express, daily, p, h.-.-...... 11:55 am
Terre Haute Accommodation 400 pm
Pacific Express, daily, s.-......... 10:45 pm
Arrive New York Express daily.-...-...- $50 am
Indianapolis Mail and Accom- 1000 am
Cincinnati and louisville Fast Lime. $50 pm
New York Express, daily, h..-..-.. ADO pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19

Cincinnati Wabash & Michigan Railway.
(Over the Bee-line.)
Depart indianapolis and Grand Rapids Elk
press observation-disclosures. Ills am
Michigan Express .1l;00 am
Arrive-C Cincinnati and indianapolis Elk
press. .........--.........-... 214pm
Indianapolis and st. Louis Exp. .1Os54 pm
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-07-19

Cincinnati Hamilton 8 indianapolis.
Depart-Cincinnat Dayton g Toldeo- 80. 400 am
Cincinnati, Dayton, Toledo and
New York 1850 an
Connersville Accommodation. 4:30pm
Cincinnati, Dayton, Toledo and
New York Express. ...-.... 6:40pm
Arrive onnersville Accommodation. $50 am
Cincinnati Peoria and St. Louis. .11.50 am
Cincinnati Accommodation. ....... 800 pm
Cincinnati, Peoria and st. Louis. 10;4O pm
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-09-11
General New :.


Liie Boston 9'af mas come out for
Dollef'
The mechanics fair was oDcned in
Do9'oH Yesterday
Gen Butler addressed $4,000 people
at Minneapolis, Friday.
~. ,,
Ai'' " "'i'''S Ton monument iS''plol!
approaching eo1HP'c'loh'
The cholera scourge continues in
France, Spain and Italy.
A great fire RACED in Cleveland Ohio
last Sunday destroying large amount
Of property estimated as high as two
and half millions.
inc 9aI'a'loh army mas iala SieSe TO
BOSTON, NOT IoF AL summer but as
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-09-11

tors Who voted in the negative, Ito
wac opposed to the Fourteenth amond-
mcnt TO the Constitution, and was ono
OF eleven Senators who voted in the
opposition, If there was a suggestion
ormoycment calculated to embarass Mr.,
Lincoln Mr. Hendricks was al
WAYS in support of it, If
thore was an honest blow 10 be
struck at the enemy Mr., Hendricks
was always unable to come to the help
of Mr., Lincoln, Sometimes he had
one excuse and sometimes another. He
always had an excuse, His record dur
ing the war was detostable and unpa-
tMotlc Very truly yours,
EDWARD McPuERsoN.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-09-11
Tell the Truth,

.grcU thc ninth" ahorf tbo da,,oor,tio
marty. THAI il tourbt two aono,ot;ons
of mon fine final bnras, of stoto on
,rcu,oc, ,yboso r,,lt NO. n,a D.,
secession tbot !, ana = nI;u,ss ''', r
o.,,,.os md h,n,. ,,iII-,..n, - J.. -
and t,,.otio,, a,g.,,,a A., ,,s, 80 VI
o,otions of t,,a,;,a.. ,''1 ''',', ~ Z '',
p,o, toa.1,in,.. 1.4 49,, =. ''"'o' II ~
II, -, s',', ,, ,'','e' 10 !" MS ''i'
hon5 oro hat, "',' -, ~, '1o' 'i ,I
~; l fI %C ,,, D',l ",,'l'gp' ',a' "i.Dn
ISL. uo tne i ''''t''' ,,'9 1 -,
siroa ~ ,tafm ,La -, Wv" gu VIM, "''o Wv W.
cboot;nu u,a .a.t;.,,,. ,,.,.. .'o''o' ~,
t,,, ,,,,,l -. - N''l,o'. '''"'
~ IN oI1 aa, t, -, - 1 N.Y. 80 ~ NY
fora a.. ,,.r,,+ -, r, ~. ', - u
,-.,,, - -, : :, - :. - ~
,,,r,..,,1 e,,,',,1 ..'3 ~ ~
o;, a. 800, - NV pio,e'.o'' a.'' "i'
;nlnanco o,n H. s,,, 80 . 'lni'i'o Jus
boIIot nov. r,ot :, 40 -t.4,, II -
has control infonnora,co and ;,,. nv.u ~
attain tboir most aanris,fna a,. Y,,,,',.
that il has done IN. Iaast fe, 9 non, To-,
education wborsyer II hoe h pl'" t%a
fullest central. Chat = has han, ,a ,,,'
sis,cntIv The friend at all timos and
places Of free trade froo ,,,,,n an1 fmon
fraud. and the conalIy consistent foo
of free labor, free schools and froo
suffrage. This ia fine rrptb ,hont -
record as 4 party. TELL tbc trnth ;.
But lher won't.
"Tcn the truth" about.the ronnhIicsn
party. That it saved the Union. that il
freed the slave: that il Kant tho nations
faith with the nations crodito,.. that Il
cave oaual citizonsbin n all mon ,,,,dor
the 0ar. ihat il has Stood snnt;na, ~ tI,a
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-09-11

81 JonNsnuU, W., Sept, S. IN,
heaviest thunder storm Of the season
took place last nigh, lasting fire,
hours, The roads ara badly washed
Lightning often appeared like small
balls of fire in the air, AZ Lyndon
vile five inches of water fell,
Brattleboro, VI, Sept 3. During
thunderstorm this afternoon lightning
struck the bniyersalist church at Yer,
non, W., aud set il on fire The flame,
were eNtmgm,hed after doing about
$500 damage,
Dover, NJ H., Sept, 8, During q
heavy thunder storm this afternoon
the tenement OF D, Cummings & Co.
shoe manufacturers, al South Berwick
was struck by lightning, The tenement
Of John Thmrcll aud 7, Sewell were
badly damaged, The inmate. were
much scared, but escaped injuries.
Loss @lo0.
4 special from Matamoras, Mex.
tells of Il dcspe4,- battle between
ranchmen and a notorious band of cattle
thieves at Las Vacas. The depredations
of the band had become so daring and
been attended with sucA success that II
few days ago the ranchmcn organized
and started in pursuit The thieves
were speedily oycrhauled and a bloody
fight ensuod. One OF the gang was
severely wounded and fell from his
horse, and several of his comrades
were hit, but all but he escaped to the
mountains The vigilaates seized and
bound the wounded man, and bore him
away fora considerable distance. When
q convenient spot was reached, they
dismountcd and hanged the thief to a
tree, and then ridlcd his body with
bullets. The pleadings of the doomed
desperate were piteous in the ex-
treme.
WHITE RIVER JUNCTION. W., Sept.
s. The skeleton of an unknown man
was found in a ravine in the woods two
miles North of here on Sunday by some
men Whc were hunting. LATER-Fur-
Their Developments give the identity of
the man. In removing the body for
burial a wallet was revealed in which !
were clothing and shoe bills and re-
ceipts by Merchants of Woodstock. |
VT, i'll favor of Nm. Wentworth. |
Further inquiry Of Woodstock people |
,owoborates the fact that VIM. Went |
worth disappeared from Woodstock in
he summer of 1888; that he was par
tally insane. etc. He was last seen
dive at Che house of Julius Harridan.
Hartford, where he asked for the loan
If gun, saying he wanted to revenge
Ms father, but did not say why: on
)eing denied, he asked Mr.. Harlidan to
hoot him. Shortly after he left the
lousc aud walked up aud down the
Dad near by, gesticulating wildly and
alIling cXcitedly to himself. His ia
her and mother live at Woodstock to
Which place his remains will be re-
moved.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-09-11
Three of Them.

NEW BRUNSWICK, N. j., Sept. s.
1Lahlon Runyon, President of the Ma
tional Banl, of New Jersey, cut his
throat, in a closet Of the bank, with a
small knife. The act is ascribed to his
supposed implication IN the populations
Of Cashier Hill, who committed sui
eide last week.
Walker Carroll. a depositor. has cut
his throat. The mob threatens TO burst
open the bank and ia only subdued by
the police,
A double wrestling match took place
at Recreation Park. Detroit, Saturday,
for 81 200 a side and The gate receipts.
between II. N. Dafm of Massachu-
sets and Benjaminof Washington. and
between Col. Mclaughlin aud Hon.
Mr., Flagg. who was elected to The
Vermont Legislature on Tuesday. The
first round between Dufm and Benia-
min, was won by the former in six
minutes and the second by Benjamin in
a minute and half and the third by
Dufur in six minutes. The greatest
interest conferred in the macth between
Mclaughlin and Flagg, The first
round. catch as catch can, was holly
contested, Mclaughlin winning in p
minutes. Tie second round. collar and
was also won by Mclaughlin in
10 minutes.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-09-11
COUNTY EXAMINATION
OF Teachers.

y public examination for license TO
teach in the common schools of Wind
ham County for five years will be held
IN Brattleboro Sept, 20 and p colnmen-
cling ut 10 O'Clock A. Nj. Candidates for
admission must be twenty years of age,
II men, and eighteen years, if women.
Nh st bring testimonials from the town
snpcrintendants who granted their GER
tliicates and from the committee who
hired them showing that they have
Taught successfully in the common
schools of the state for at least ten
weeks and approving their moral char
actcr; or il shall be sufficient qualitica-
ton for admission to such examination
If the candidate hold county license
granten in another county.
The written examination will be in
Arithmetic, Grammar, Geography.
History, Physiology, and Civil Govern
ment. The oral examination will be in
theremaining branches required by law
to be taught in the common schools of
the state, in drawing, and in methods
of teaching.
c. II. MERRILL,
Secretary of Examining Boards,
W. Brattleboro, Vt. Sept. &, 1884.