Bridgeton pioneer., 1884-09-18
NAsBY AND THE TARIFF PLANK.

liner are DelllS Ill lIlls Nolru WIFI ttio
constantly maxim trouble, and that
feend. Joe Bigler, is one NV EN-, and the
cheef.
We he'd called another meetin for
the purpose NV ratifyin the nomina-
shuns. wich we he'd dooly announst
bv notise written by Issaker Gavitt,
and posted up in Bascom's bar-room to
make shoor that all the Dimocrats Nv
the Corners wood see it. L sot by it
for a day and red it to EN-, to enshoor
full attendance.
Joe Bigler happened in and red it,
and said it wuz a good ijee to hev a
ratificashen meetin. He shoodent his
self probably vote for Cleveland and
Hendrix, but it wuz the proper racket
to hev such meetins to discuss the plat
forms and sich, to the end Nv citizens
votin intelligently, and he shood swell
the meetin by bein present hisself.
Then l knowed ther wood be trouble,
and l wood hev postponed the meetin
till some time when he wuz sure to be
away, eff l Good. But unforchinitly
coodn't.
Then l begged him not to cum, but
he insisted he wood. He felt it to be
relijus dooty.
''Relijus dooty" l remarkt sarkasti-
cally, what is yoor relijun?''
II hevent got much" sighed Josef.
WAT hev is mostly summed up in
this: labor vigrusly every day with
myself not to be quite ez mean ez l
know how to be. 1 shell be there"
The mite cum, the horn wuz tootid,
and Deacon Pogram, Issaker Gavitt and
myself took one sustainer to help us
thro' the hour and a-half we shood be
in the meetin and deprived Nv susten-
ance, and then we went over to the
meetin-house.
1t was a cheerful site Miranda Po-
gram, assisted by the other Dimocratic
ladies NV the Corners, he'd got out the
flags and banners we hev yoosed ever
since 1861, and he'd festooned the wall
with EN-. Their wuz the good old ban
ners under wich we marched to defeat
under Seymore and Mcclellan and
Greely and Hancock, with the same in
scripshens on EN-: death to Abolition
ists!n ''Shel White Wimmin Be Com
PEELED to Marry Niggers?" white
Husbands or Nonen ''Shel the Niger,
Wich Is a Beest, Contaminate the Poles
Beside the White Man?' Honor to
the Confederit Braves Them Wich
Vote ez Lincoln Votid Are ez Bad ez
the Gorilla Hisself!' and various other
notices Nv like nacher.
And ON the wall, in the place Nv
honor, wuz the identikle rifle with wich
that old saint, Deekin Pogram, bush.
whacked Federal pikkets at mite, afte,
he he'd been sellin EN- watermelons al
day. The Corners prize that rifle, and
it is allus decorated when we hev Dim
ocratic meetins.
One advantage of being a Dimocrat
at the Corners is, we don't change at
all. The banners we marched under
in 1861, do jist as well for US now, fol
we are constantly fitin the old fite over
again. and alluz will till deth do us part.
| assoomed the chair, and Issaker
Gavitt took the secretary's table, ex-
offisho and | made the speech ez usual.
| commenst an elaborate discushn Nv
the platform Nv the party, and WIZ
gittin on very well till l come to the
tariff plank, when Joe Bigler riz and
interrupted me. I knew the cuss wood
do it, and my hart went down into my
boots.
Il beg pardon" said Josef, ''for in
terruptin the elokent speaker, and
woodent do it only | desire to assist
him in eloosidatin the eggsact meanin
Nv the platform, over wich | under
stand there hez been some trouble. If
ther is anything on earth wich shood
be cleer and well defined-so clear that
he who runs may read-it is the plat
form Nv principles Nv a great party. 1t
shood be so cleer that the humblest
intellect shood know eggsactly wat is
meant by it and wat them wich stand
on it propose to do about it.
'"To the end NV havin a plane and
cleer interpretation Nv this tariff plank
it okkurred to me, when | wuz over tC
Seceshunville, to go to the highest
authority on the subjeck, wich is Mr.
Barnum, the Chairman NV the Nashne
Dmekratic Committy. Eff anybody or
earth ought to know wat the platform
means it is Barnum, isn't it?'
The meetin all yelled: 'Yes!' wher
Josef went on:
II may ez well menshun that I as
soOmed the name Nv our esteemed
friend, Issaker Gavitt, and telegraphe,
thus:
ITO William H. Barnum, Cheermal
NV the Nashnel Dimocratic Committee
Does the Dimocratic platform meel
perteckshun or free trade?
HsTSSAKEP CAvJTT Mapvoofa lytrar