The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1884-07-02
Fixing a Screen Door.

A0%1So ~ 0N4NOA1 DOOA'
He had doubtful expression on his
phiz as he entered hardware store, and
he spoke about the stove trade, the Wall
street panic, the Greenback convention
and several other matters before he fl
nally said:
81 think it is time to put up my fly
screen DOORS"
Certainly"
"You have springs, suppose"
eyes, sir"
''Have you spring which l can adj
just?"
eve have. Here is one which boy
ten years old can put on. The time for
intricate springs has passed, and simpli-
city is the rule
"Let's see. I wonder if l can put
that on?"
"Of course you can. All you want
is a screw-driver and three screws.
Here--this end goes on the door-that
ON the casing. See? When you have it
on take this wire and turn here. When
the spring has the right force drop those
slots-thus. See? Why, a woman could
put on one OF those springs with her
eyes shut-price fifteen cents"
Bones hadn't lost any OF his doubtful
expression as he started out. He walked
home feeling of his ear and trying to
remember just what the dealer said, and
in half an hour he was at work on the
door, The dealer had held the upper
end of the spring to the northwest, while
his door opened to the northeast. He
sat down and thought and thought, and
finally decided to try it anyhow. Mrs.
Bones came out and helped him and the
spring was finally put on.
(gNaxx, xr-Io ~ 90 Oh ,el-a el,
ed the door and saw that it remained
thus.
"NVhy, we turn the ratchet, l sup
serNaucneu--wnssU's 'uls,vs
Changed if l know. I've heard the
boys say: Cheese the ratchet, and
that's all / know about it. Oh-yes; he
said I must put this wire in the holes
and turn"
''Well, 60 ahead"
Bones turned and turned. The spring
stiffened and the door flew open.
That's just like you," she said as
she jumped back. F'What on earth do
we want of spring to hold door
open?"
"That's so-that's so. Let's take it
off and turn it end for end"
This was tried, but it was no good, and
Mrs. Bones cried out:
"You might have knownit! 1t takes
man with brains to put on spring.
"And I've got more OF 'em right i'll
my heels than your whole relations have
in their heads"
Then put on that spring."
'I'm going to when l get ready.
There's no particular hurry, as can
see'
"Mavbe it's tired!' she sneered.
"And may be you'd better attend to
your own mopping!"
She went in and Bones tried that
spring six different ways. Then he vert
off and borrowed gimlet, an inch auger,
q crowbar, a iack-screw and Il pair of PIN
GERS, and he tried six other ways. He
turned the old thing until the tension
lifted up one end of the house, and he
looked from the front gate to the alley
fence for the ratchet, but the door ha(
no spring to it. He put the spring OF
diagonally, crosswise, lengthwise, top TO
bottom and bottom for top, and about
O'Clock in the afternoon Mrs. Bones cam,
out and found him pounding it witt
the crowbar, while the door had beel
wrenched apart and heaved into the al
~ said you couldn't do it," she re
marked.
Couldn't do what?''
Put on that spring."
''Who tried to put on spring? w
don't need any door there, and I've takel
it away. 1t isn't at all likely that W
will see three flies this summer, but if
few do come around we amt going t
murder 'em. Spring was just foolin
you. That was burglar alarm, am
the reason didn't put it on is becaus
we haven't anything to burglarize. Eve
if we had I'd let 'em come. A burgla
can't live unless he has a fair show. y
Free Press.