Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-01-06
Press Pleasantries,

A Toronto man waited until he was SO
years old before he got married. He
waited until he was sure that If he didn't
like it he wouldn't live long TO repent it,
According to thes Elmira Gazette and
Free Press, there is man living in its
city who has been married thirty.eght
times. Tho peculiar feature of his case
is that twenty-eight of his wives are liv-
ing. He is deserving of much sympathy.
The I'eras SViiags snceringly remarks
that ''if you want your grave dug in
Memphis they make you pay cash in ad-
vance, There is nothing very wrong
in that. Once allow a man to try on his
grave and he will never come back to pay
forit.
"How long have you been ma.rried?"
asked the clerk at the hotel desk, as the
elderly bridegroom registered. "Two
weeks, replied the happy man. Front. :"
cried the clerk, "show the gentleman to
parlor b; $l5 day, sir" "Third wife, !"
calmly said the guest. "0h, excuse me.
Front. show the gentleman to S24, back.
Take the elevator. Four dollars week,
sir"
In North Carolina white man was
arraigned for stealing chickens from
negro. The jury was composed of seven
white men and five negroes, and one sof
the latter was made foreman. They
came into Court, and the clerk demand.
ed, "Have you agreed upon verdict"
eyes, sah.n "What is it?" "Do jury
am gone Republican, sah, and the pris-
Oner am not guilty"
"What is that you're reading?" asked
youth of a fair maiden who was perus-
ing one of Tennyson's poems. "This is
the 'Galahad, SIR" "Does he say any.
thing about the gal he's got now!'' 81
guess you didn't understand me. This
is poem about Sir Galahad, one of the
ancient knights" "Oh, yes; see, re-
piled the young man, as he went out
with modern daze upon his counter.
ance.
A Michigan girl told her young man
that she would never marry him until
he was worth $4,000. So he started
out with brave heart to make it.
"How are you getting ON, George?' she
asked at the expiration of couple of
months. "Well," George said, hope
fully, 81 have saved S22." The girl
dropped her eye -lashes, and blushingly
remarked: 81 reckon that's near enough,
George. 6he was willing to trust him
for the little balance.
''Say, pard," said an Austin man to a
stranger who was shutting so slowly
along the street that his shadow seemed
to he stuck fast to the sidewalk, "don't
you come from the West." 81 reckon
you're about right in your calculations, -
he drawled. 81 thought so. What
made you think hailed from that re.
gion." because hear that there has
been shower of snails there lately, and
l was sure you must be one Of the family.
The new made Adam in his garden lay
Drying in sunshine his still moist clay.
Lulled by the perfume. laden airs that sweep
Through Eden's balmy groves, he fell asleep.
Nick, through crack where he was wont to lurk
Now saw chance for getting in his work.
Under the fence, in serpent guise lie crept
And chorotormed poor Adam us he slept.
Then deity carved rib from out his side,
Muttering grimY, ~ will make his bride
Over the bone the Devil softly blew.
And quickly into life and form it grew,
Until the perfect finished Eve arose
And that first sleep was Adams last repose
"Oh, ma, Just see the Browns in the
box opposite! They have brought their
Wallets with them to do their applaud.
ing" "Dear me! why did we not think
of that!' "0h, feel so mortified
could sink through the floor; but never
mind, we can outdo the Browns to-mor-
row night" "Merely bringing the
Wallets with us would not outdo them; it
would only be copying them" 81 have
much better plan than that, one that
will just drive the Browns wild with