davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
VINO Euo,y rrem VIII not entertain Tor q

VINO know ruem VIII not entertain Tor e
moment.
The further notion that this same popula-
ton can b made to double their production
again by clearing jungle and bringing new
land under the modern pillow Is simply pre-
posterous. No such thing is possible by any
thing short OF a miracle. A class which is 30
large and which i, SO hampered by custom,
tradition, and superstition cannot bs made
to wuksuch wonderslas some panicky Amer
leans and enthusiastic Britons expect Of the
ryots of India. Cool-headed Englishmen
who know something about the situation are
not building great expectations upon 1pdiH;
much less do they TAX of "boycotting 4Aner.
ica," as some indiscreet countrymen Of our.
represent them to be doing.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
Live out Of Eoors.
philadelphia Record.l

Now comes the time when every one-man
woman and child-shouli live out OF door
as much as possible. People were born int
the world to enjoy it, but inside Of fcu4
walls is very small part Of it, and tho.
who secude themselves in houses burro
,bay do not properly live.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

PhlladeIphla Cali
First Duie-lsn't the American flag vul-
gah.
Second Dude Aw, yes. awful; we'd, white
and blue; such common colohs, y know.
First Dude--Let's twy 10 get congwess u
change il.
Second Dude-Good idea the colohs should
be burnt cweanl, cwushei stwaterry and
n,auve brown
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
Tac Essential Ingredient.

lieHas oiuhSs.I
GilhooIy had another unpleasant little
chat with his iandlady, the widow Fiapjack,
whose coffee is famous for being almost as
weak as a state administration He stirred
up his coffee, tasted it, and smiled sardon-
ically:
perhaps didn't put in any sugar, Mr.
Gifhooly."
20, yes, the sugar is all right"
Il expect didn't put in enough milk"
no, the mills. is all right
"Well, what is lacking, Mr.. Gilhooly."
"Coffee"
1t was very wrong in Gilhooly to make
that sneering remark. He certainly cannot
expect to be fec on all the luxuries of the
season for IS a week
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

l(niCaSo Herald
A white sqaall caught party of tourists
moving across a lake il Scotland, and
threatened to caI's.ze the boat. When it
seemed that the crisis WAS really come,
the largest and physically strongest CT the
party. in state Of intense fear, said, @Let Us
pray mo, no, my man. shouted the bluti
old boatman. ~let tina. little man pray; YOU
take an oar
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
lmttaston Alligator Leather.


Calf and other skins are made 10 resemble
very closely alligator skins by very ingen-
ious process 4 photograph having been
made OF genuine alligator hide, a copy Of it
is produced in bichromatic gelatine, which
gives in relief all the curious markings, and
from this latter relief representation, a metal
die is readily executed This die is pressed
heavily on the cheap leather, with the result
OF making i; look 50 like the leather manu-
featured from the skin of the alligator as to
deceive oxperts unless it is handled ami eN-
an,ined. Any suitable stain csa BE- impaired
% tie factitious product
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
= Close Call.
Fn. -. - IY-l~ ]

burlington Hawkeyel
$50 ycu were not drunk asked the ius-
tice.
mo, sir. replied the prisoner, Il was sober. "
How do you know you werem
because. when the officer arrested me
had sll in my pocket and was afraid to go
home,r stoutly maintained the prisoner.
The justice unused a moment, holding his
venerable head in his folded hands. Then
he spake: So
Prisoner, you are correct You were not
drunk. But You were very liable TO get
drunk at any moment. Go your ways and
don't shave the statute so close another time "
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
TOO Few Vines.
Wall Street News.l


\ Rochester nursery firm, who are ship
ping trees and vines to Nebraska received a
letter early in the spring from resident OF
that state who asked if grapevines should be
enriched with any kind of fertilizer. He was
answered to the effect that bones were an
excellent thing for grapevines He at once
put the inquiry:
Il have thirty Of -FOUR vines How many
bones do | needs"
The firm wrote in answer: "a barrelful
will be plenty"
In three or four days there came in re-
Spouse to this letter, saying:
"Then send me 100 more vines, as | have
just wiped out my seventh man. and am long
on homes.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
All sins welcome TO Idaho.

NlO'II q -tIcII' INUKXebf
We want Cinnamon, but we want them a
long way of. The fat has gone forth that
no Celestial shall ever gazs on the woody
gulch,s Of the Coeur q Alene ami live. Ii he
insists on coming, however, let him bring a
roast pig, plenty Of fire-crackers and col
ored paper, and all the essentials FOR first
class Chinese funeral. He needn't bother
about bringing the corpse, though; If will be
10
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
An ola Edt,or,. Request.

Orange Judd, editor Of The American Ag-
ricuturist for some thirty years, has lately
retired from its editorial department and 10
Gated in the west he desires TO gather n
complete postal card album" Off his ole
readers and friends, and requests them alto
send him now a postal, giving their present
location and address, naming, also, whel
convenient, the years in which they were his
subscribers Mr. Judds address is Chi.
caUo Ills
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
Wanted Ii Killed.


A merchant traveller at dinner requested
the waiter 70 bring him a piece OF rare beef
and when il came il was rare, indeed
-Waiterlr be remarked warningly. rs he
looked at the undone Dish YES, sab, re-
piled the darkey. Take this dish cut,
please. and kill it, The waiter cravlsd into
a napkin ring and disappeared
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

lltAdS
Henry Irving thinks America is too large.
II the eminent trasedian will only wait until
the presidential campaign opens, and the
native stump orator begins to spread himself,
he will understand that it takes whole
r,ro RE In hold one of us
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
Advantages Of Heing Married.

Are you as happy now as you were before
you mai1iel" asked Ms. Yeast OF young
Mrs Crimsonbeal 'Yes, indeed replied
the lady, and great deal happier That
is strange suSgestel tho philantropist's
wife Not at all strange" came from the
young married woman. You see before
was married | used to spend half the time
worrying about what dress | SHOULD wear
when Daniel called" But don't you try
Just as hard TO look well when Your husband
returns home at nights" interrupted Mrs.
Yeast. "Wel. you see Went on the bride
OF two summers, Il don't worry any about
it now, as | have only one dress to my
nainr y
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

"ANTED-Eycrybody 10 know that have
w just Received "A fine lot Of Texas ponies
which will sell at extremely low prices al
Riverside Barn. near the bridge Will be on sale
from 10 a NJ To Ir n every day until sold
These ponies are all selected from herd OF five
Iundred head andcm't De beat
y DIST. j L. TuRSEE.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

YASTED-Kcnters for two fine rooms on
w second floor in John Recess new build
ing, 30 Douglas ayenuc.
23-tf II + FeIND x Co.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NHyANTED-A situation as clerk or book
w keeper in either n dry goods or grocery
store, the latter preferred; good references
Address %. : Casad, box 5ie d2l-6"
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

XXyANTED- buyers for y lots on Lawrence
w aud Topeka avenues in blocks ana :,
ornr A. Phillls' addition These ar. the finest
in Wichita for the price-sl0o per lot.
Ytr II r fIaENp Il Co.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NY ASTED-To sublct tine mail route from
w Wichita to Harper. Sec the carrier on
- edncsday saturday. Dr.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NNvANTED-T 10 sch 20 head IL good Iowa owh
w in fine condition Address II. VI Piatt,
"a stairs north T. - Wichita, kansas 2t-G
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
BuNNrrL 4 RoYs.

NNANTED-Land-bu buyers to know that il is
w to their interest TO go 10 Garden Plain
cal Estate Agency 10 buy lands.
d-5-tr TAYLOR x PIKE.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NyyANTED-Two gentlemen with their wives
w to board al first door north of Prcsby
terrain church 2i-6'
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NvANTED-A buyer for splendid stock
w ranch of ., l2O acres, at 50 per acre, in
Reno county, Kansas. streams of running
water, - acres of timber, - miles of fencing
g. 50o acres are choice lands for farming. An
immense bargain.
d-l3-u BUNNElLN RDNS-
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NyANTED-Lan buyers to know that We
w have made arrangements with the hotels
at Garden Plain 30 Keep them al reduced rates
d-5-tf TABOR & PM.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NYAN1ED-To sell the Michigan Home OPP
w positc the new depot house doing
good business. Apply on premises 20 \ n
Mack 24-6
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

N'ASTED-ro rent room in a private
w house; corner Market and English
streets inquire ON premises. Ei-tf
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

lyASTED-Land-auy.'r 10 know that we
w have for sale all the best lands near Gar
H. Plain. TANLon PIKE.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NyANTED-T0 sell a good family horse I;
w young. and one that any person can
drive that is capable Of handling horses at all
lg-tf In Russell.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

XNANTED-Some QUE to pay taxes on $50
w acres Of grass land for the use OF IT.
d--tf n r tglEND 4 Go.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NvANTED- buyers for 80 head II choice
w Texas ponies, al Riverside stable, near
the bridge
d25-G J Il TURNEG.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
Slow 10 Learn.


IVI NIIy IItIIIVk.
"Johnnie," said an Oil City girl to hei
bashful company, Us they occupied remot,
ends Of the sofa the other night. Il see by
the papers that lady in New Jersey, lo4
years old, boasts Of having bsen kisseda by
Washington -s.srf
"Yes,n SAID Johnnie Il saw il too
Suppose you We're to becomea great mar
like Washington. -
"Well:7 said Johnnie. -
"And | was TO live to be 10t years old."f
"Well' said Johnnie.
Il couldn't say of You what the old lady
said Of Washington, could IT
Then he kissed her
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

VyyANTED-A girl TO do honseworh in 4
w small family. Inquire at this office
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NVyANTED-A tenant for Il splendid Office
w room over Fuller q Sons d-i-u
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
UNIMPROyED LANDS.

w l2-29-lO west, kingman county,
20 acres broke, Sla00.
1856 l-2 of W l-2 32-2S-5w W, kingman coun-
ty ~ acres broke, $3.50.
l5Gg Quarter miles G of town, SGD
liza Quarter I-2 miles of Cheney, SOD.
I5s3I-2. Quarter sec. 10 miles W OF Wichita,
on Arkansas river, S2CVO, 500 cash, balance
on time at per cent
l5ss. lGG a on Ninnescah river, miles below
Cheney, 20 o in cultivation, $500:
fisSs : iGO miles south Of Goddard, $1,000.
. l5N Ouarter sec miles east of town, $50.
I,g; 100 a miles of Wichita, Sls0, Is
cash .,on
1901. 65 a adjoining Garden Plain. slS0.
lfa,5 100 q in sec 4-as-3 east, Butler county,
- in cultiyation, SlsUO.
MI 80 a l. miles of wichita, good dP-
iSss. Quarters miles n W OF Garden Plain
$500.
lG;s 100 a miles W of Garden Plain, 20 II
broke, Sl7U. ~
Ies,, -, a I, miles from Garden Plain, $3.50.
l,ss n e IA 3s-2s;-i W, 7 miles n of Garden
Plain, Sl201. 900
1910 n e IA 4-30-i W, all raw, SlJJ.
le37 2sr1 in n e part Of Comanche county,
plenty of water, a splendid cattle range, So pei
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NNANTED-A good nurse girl from II TO H.
w years old by Biting Bros. d-5-u
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NyANTED-To sell stock of merchandise
w in kingman county: good location /;
postofficc in connection Enquire of Jocelyn
Thomas DIST
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

N'ANTED--Situation in grocery house I;
w five years Npereneai good references
from last house. Address X. ID F., box -.
Dist.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NIvANTED--A buyer for choice stock ranch
w Of $50 acres 4 good bargain for the
right man. Price, - 90 per acre.
d-l3-tf II. 4. FEEND& Co.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

uyANTED-A buyer for II quarter-secton "i
w good raw land for sale cheap; well WA
tered situated in Minnesota
j Y. DArGuEHIN,
AFT with Judge Campbell.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NIyANTED-I Land buyers to know that We
w are posted in prices and location of every
tract of land that is for sale In Scdgwick county
AFT II \. FHENp Co.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NyANTED-To sell 5 country store In good
w location good reasons for selling. En-
qure of Wichita Wholesale Grocer Co d-J-6'
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

Mgr. Capel calls newspaper Intervene
"intellectual msquitoes-
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

and boardgin n. private
NV family bygenflenian and wife Address
A n & bo< city sd2,-Gs
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

-FaI'ners and eiiiLsns io Know 2'
ing house of valley il iccat.d second door south
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

RsvANTED-A girl to DO general homework
Nv Inquire of 4 " Biting. lj-d-tf
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

HvANTED-ro rent good Office room over
w Wichita grocery X IL hoh~.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

yyyANTkD--A good girl to do gen"rsl house
w work in II small family. Inquire al res
idence of Samuel iIouck. io-
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NIyANTED Everybody to visit the star
w Clothing House and examine goods ana
prices before purchasing elsewhere.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18
WANT COLUMN.
lMTSCELLINEOE.

Advertisements az his column tciH be charged for
at the sate Of FIRE Cents per line per reek. No
odrerfisemeaf fakea for Tess fhcR - cents.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NyANTED-ro sell 4 good top buggy, side
w bar: or will trade tor phEion,
X ~ Rows.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

WANTED MANY customers to be fitted out
w in those elegant and nobhS Cnrkscrcw
suits Star Clothing House
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-06-18

NyyANTEp-s, 900 acres of land in one body
w in this county, for a fancy stock farm,
BUNNEI.L n RoNS.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06
NM. O.. Ne DONkIn >upt.
Fl I/ABFTH IRTT school
+. T.. HtRr~HoEN. Com
A Suggestive Comparison.

The Chauanoosa. Tenn. baHy I,mc,
make, the following editorial comparison.
which !, not altogether hlfrrrins Ken
tuckiaus.
1t SAYS Ma,sachu,rrt, ha, appropriated
100000 to the relief Of food sufferers On
the western rivers The Mayor', fund. Bo,-
ton, for the same purpose, had reached SO
600 At last adyict>. and vas rapidly swell
ing This contrasts painfully with the dis
reputable. contemplate meannes> Of Ken
tuckv with 900 miles of river front flooded.
and thousands of her citizens reduced TO
beggary by the overflow. Even Louisville
possibly catching the Infection from tht leg
islature, appears tu be too mean 10 provide
for her own few distressed citizens.
Wne1 the deiuge cf 1873 drowned out
great districts il A!ahama, Mississippi and
Louisiana, Boston and her suburb. con
tributed Sl00,Oo0 10 the relief fund. Soon
after BOston> business section was scourged
by fire, losing her S1j.00O,00o IN day and
night, and brave Boston declined all offers
OF aid from abroad, cared for her sufferers
and rebuilt her fire swept streets.
Yet We have general, rated the kentuck-
ian brave, generous. free hearted, hos
pitable, kindly citizen, while setting the
Yankee down as grasplns, niggardly, sell
fish fellow, who looks alone to the interest
of No. /.
Perhaps these estimates may have u be
modified if not revised. Suppose hori-
zontal cut be applied TO the idea and over
drawn Kentucky reputation for generosity,
and the same bestowed on undervalued Yam
kee character for practical, sensible and
timely henevolence.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06
He Was The Man.

1t was on a western railroad. The con
ductor had been his rounds. and taken seat
beside very quiet and unassuming passen-
ger.
pretty full train" finally observed the
passenger.
"Yes."
''Road seems to be doing a good bu,i-
ness
'Oh, tie road makes plenty Of money,
but
'But wha; ?" asked the passenger. as the
other hesitated.
bad management; it is the worst man
aged line in the whole country"
''Is that so ?"
That's so the board Of officials might
know how to run side show to a circus,
but they can't tackle railroad"
"Who is the biggest fool in the lot p
"Well, the superintendent is"
'l'm glad Of that" said the passenger,
as his face lighted up. Il was afraid YOU
would say it was the president"
Suppose had ?"
"Whv. I'm the man .'-WaH Street Ners
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06
Skrtch Of Judg- Foster.

Enucn Foster Jr. wa, Lom .u Nywn.
and Is IS lelr, ui l-r lie Wa> ,,il. a.ed
At Could AcAdemv, Name >.rir >rr.A T.,
aud Bowdoin Coite.c: studied .aN in the
Office Of llon. X ubrn Foster IF Waicr,lilc,
and graduated Ii lhr .aw .n.,er>i,, OF
ALBANY. \. u. commence. practice at
Brthel ID l>6j, uul hA> baeu Ill lc'Nr
practice e,ri since; anl hA~ ihc thc reputa-
tIon of icing thr leading LAWYER NJ ONf,rd
county to-lal tie Wa~ rircied County
Attorney for ONlorI coauDy il 1861. for
three wears. and reelected la 1870. which
office he held until Jan. |. 1874 In the Maine
Legislature Of 1884 and 40 he served in
the Senate. being one Of the most active and
able members u that hclV.
Al the breaking cut of tile rebellion. ne
entered thr army. sept. 1861 ua> rOmmi,-
stoned Second Lieut. III Co. IL. 18th Maine
Rtg't. which was assigned To the expedition
under Gen. Butler for the capture pf New
Orleans; afterwards commissioned first lieu
tenant, and served three years IN the ARMY
Of the Department Of the Gulf Was APP
pointed provost marshal bv Gen Bank
and served IN that capacity tnr a ,esr aud a
half IN Louisiana resigned that position
and Joined his regiment ID serve IN Gen.
Banks Inflated Red River and Text, cam
palgl
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06
Parsons Christmas Presents.

ii presume YOU have general idea OF
what you will get in your Christmas stock
ing?" observed Detroit Free Press re
porter TO well-known clergyman.
'Oh, yes" was the smiling reply. "lt
will be about the same as last year and year
before. ] coun, on 10 pairs of slippers. )
dressing gowns, handkerchiefs, 5pairs Of
gloves, . silks hats. 3 canes and Is book
marks"
'And what do YOU count on ?" was asked
of second member of the cloth.
"Oh. | have list in my mind. Let's see;
There will be five pairs of slippers, four
canes, two hats, three pairs of gloves. ten
different notices of Feed My Lambs Il
paper weight, gold pen and an eight-day
clock
The third clergyman smiled in a sad wav
and mournfully replied;
Put me down for 22 dressing gowns. "a
pairs of slippers and 80 penwipers."
BAT You may get an inkstand or a shoe
box or a MOTTO
No; 1t will be exactly what | tell YOU.
I've been here eight years and never knew
the list to vary
The fourth one doubted whether he ought
10 give it away, but finally remarked:
"lou can put me down for - paper
weights, / have never received less than 80,
and some times as many as 50. have over
400 IN the house now, outside of all have
thrown at cats"
The fifth one tried hard to get away, but
after being driven into store and cornered
he said
"Wel, my congregation rather runs 10
hardware. shall count on 10 pairs of
SCISSORS. - booilacks. 80 erasers. 10 peu
racks and about 80 pocket-knives"
Still another clergyman was interviewed
as to what disposition was made Of the sur
plus presents. and he replied;
Bless YOU but il wouldn't do to get rid
Of single present We simply boz EN-
up, label tie boxes and build an addition to
the house each year to store 'em away,
Come up some day and sec my museum Of
natural wonders
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06

A gentleman in the New York Swamp
met rather ''uncertain" acquaintance the
other day, when the latter said: "Im a
little short, and would like to ask you q
conundrum in mental arithmetic" "Pro-
ceed,' observed the gentleman. "Wen.,
said the "short" man. osuppose YOU had
go in your pocket. and ] should ask YOU
for o., hov much would remain ?" .sren
dollars was the prompt answer.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06
She Mixed Those Children Up" 4"

\ leading thurrhman Of Lawrence. UPON
whom deroNes the duty Of looking up some
one each week 70 i'll the pulpit Of MS church,
decided last Saturday upon calling upon An
dover Theological seminary bv telephone
and asking one nf the professors To come
over and officiate. There was a Slight mis-
understanding at central" bu; connection
was made. Hello said the man who
thought he was speaking with lions hill.
Hello" came back on the wire well.
say, this is Mr.-talking. want to know
if YOU can come over and preach for Us Sun
day ?" Il am much obliged to you for the
invitation, but it is hardly in nv lire of
business. and must most respectfully de-
cline" heard the astonished listener In
surprise he asked: "Why, whom am talk
ing with - IS liquor store was the r.
ply.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06
I Regard 1t as a Valuable
FAMILY MEDICINE.

Ma II. L. S;sy rs Aai s-s tzA. y Asu-e in say
iuE that have Us! lie Nc-s:!1e j. r. fa;zr with
good results a.! have k;.4ws. q: s.ytral cases Of
remarkable ctrt ,1ecie- i. ter4- :; as yauAils
fam. 4 ..-..e. Truly you-s.
lily. WV. MCDONALD.
Kew Wa NsD r4.l 1 VI. laown through IL.
UI-,e4 States sas Ii--i-.ft- A. i!-s -. 4. CLE-yA.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06

-"Good morning, John" said one Of the
leading pastors in Scranton, Penn, to a
young friend whom he met on the street the
first warm day of the season. "How
does your father stand the heat?" The
young man made no reply, but went his
way with clouded brow. And when the
good pastor learned that the young mans
father had died only the week before he un-
derstood why his cordial greeting was met
so coldly.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06

Young lady: The word 'cal'' il poker
has different significance from what it does
in society In poker, if your opponent
''calls," YOU have got 10 '.see" him, without
any excuse of sickness or .snot a, home
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-03-06

This beautiful book contains I2s pages with
Illuminated covers. Sent on receipt of ten
cents in stamps or cash. Address, Z. ST.
JOHN. g. 7. a. p. A., Chicago. Rock island 4
Pacific Railway. Chicago. iii.