Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-10-25
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

has never. so far as am aware been satisfac-
tOrily explained. but the fact Is unquestionable.
man, for instance who in all other relations
Of life is uprightness itself will cheat his dearest
friend in selling him horse. trooper prov
erbially swears; dentist, If we may believe the
French adage (mentir CONNIE IN dentiste). hab-
ituaily lies. To curdle the milk of human kind
ness in naturally amiable mans bosom you
have only to make him an income tax collector.
But the most striking example of the principle
refer TO is in the case of mothers-in-law Take
Cor, rather, let somebody else take) an amiable,
accomplished and agreeable matron, lady
possessing in herself, as Mr. Guppy would
say. '.all that is calculated to charm the eve
and allure the tasten-make her q mother-iD-
law, and she ipso facto becomes a nuisance OF
the most excruciating description. Her very
virtues seem transformed into prickles, and to
stick up the wrong way. To the rest of the
world she may appear unChanged-still sweet.
Stlil amlable-but to the unfortunate sOn-iI-aw,
or daughter-in-law, she has become an incubus,
dweiser on the threshold, an awful presence
perpetually oveTshadowing the domestic fire.
side. Experto crede. / speak advisedly; like
the poets, | have learnt in suffering" what |
am about to teach in-nOt exactly song but
In the best prose at my command. I have felt
the dread cloud settling down, to all appearance
permanently, over my spare bed rOOm-but
more by good fortune than any merit of my
own. | am free. The subject is q delicate one,
and almost hesitate to discuss it In print but,
for tine benefit of other suffering sOns-n-law.
feel that am bound to proceed. If one single
Cor should rather say, one married) reader de-
riyes useful hint from my eX perience nv story
will not have been told in vain.
was young. very young, and walking the
hospitals as medical student. when [ first be-
came acquainted with Mrs. Dimpy She was q
widow with five daughters, all of them charm
hulr hA hfr1 ho+.I
destroyed all my power of approaching the at
fractions OF her sisters. | was introduced to the
family By mutual friend, and from that time
became constant. too constant, visitor at their
house. Once a fortnight merged into once a
week, ard once week insensibly increased to
twice. or even oftener. 1t was pleasant house
to visit. and We had remarkably jolly evenings
| was rather favOrte with the whole family,
but the Kindness of Mrs. Dimply was simply
overwhelming. If l CHANGED to be little
late. she would shake her ringlets at me, and
remark, in her deep voice (she had a rich mel
low voice, which always reminded me somehow
Of fruty port): Late again. Doctor. You
naughty, TsGuqhtyman. l suppose they couldn't
spare you at the hospital. What thing 1t is to
be so clever OF course wasn't adoctor, and
the hospital could have done perfectly well
without me. but the whole thing was very
soothing Then again If l sang a song Mrs d.
(wh0 did so pity anybody who hadn't soul for
music would sit enraDtuTed. frowning fiercelv
and holding up warning finger If any one VEN
tured to interrupt. And when had finished
Dear me. DIR. Smithers. what a s,oett song,
and you sing 1t so charminglyl You must
really give it US over again. It's your own
fault Tor singing it 80 nicely" And if the sub
iect gave her the ghost of chance she would
make little gulp in her throat as if swa-
lowing down spasm of uncomfortable emotion
and wipe her eyes with the corner of her lace
pocket handkerchief After supper. too. the
way that she mixed my tOddy was quite touch
ing. she never put in less than four humps of
sugar Il like it sweet), and always took a sip
herself with the spoon to make sure it was all
right. On one or two occasions when the water
hadn't quite boiled her self-reproach was really
painful. But these were halcvOn DAYS must
proceed 90 the more prOSaic portion of nv mar
rative.
Time went on. l succeeded in passing nv
nnal examination, and became entitled to write
myself NJ X. G.. s. OF course [ rushed off at
once to the Dimplys with the joyful ntelli-
gence. Mrs. Dimply shed tears and blessed me-
and melted me to kiss the girls all round in
honor of the occasion. j need hardly say |
aFailed myself of the suggestion. Rosa Matilda
@etting-if may be allowed the expression-s
Beniamins portion. / think that evening
brought matters to q crisis: at any rate / found
myself, about week after, asking private in
teryieW with Mrs. Dimply. and pleading for the
hand of Rosa Matilda. She was so very fond of
the dear girl that | was terribly afraid D was
Il
be able to induce her to part with her; but. to
my surprise and relief, she gave her consent
without the slightest pressing. and taking me
into the drawing-room, introduced me to the
girls (with much emotion) as their future
brother. or course i kissed them all round
once more; Mrs Dimply kissed me, remarking
that reminded her so much of dear Dimply.
The departed ID. Cunless his portrait was libeD
tad been podgy little man. with a snub nose.
and much marked with tbs smallpox; but l felt
that the observation was intended as compli-
lnent. and accepted it accordingly.
Fortunately for myself, / was not entirely de-
pendent on my profession. and after BRET en-
ga2ement we were married. / pass over the
Wedding. which was pretty much like any
other wedding think, perhaps, got rather
more tnan the average quantity of rice down
my back. and we drove away with two white
satin slippers (odd ones unfortunately on the
roof OF the carriage. Mrs. ID. was much af-
fecfed at parting. entreating me to love and
cherish her dear dear girl, and was scarcely
paclfed even by my feFvent assurance that
had every intention OF doing So
Ne spent three delicious weeks in the Isle of
" ight. and then took possession of our new
home, pretty little villa i'll st. Johns Wood
We mad been installed about ten days when an
atectlOnate letter arrived from mamma-in-
Jaw. announcing her intention of coming to
stay week with Us. and see how we were get
ting on. 1t struck me that it was little early
for such visit, but 1t would have been I'M
gracious TO make any objection. She arrived
the same evening. Rosie and [ were slttinr
together (she was sitting on my knee in point
Of Iact). when we heard mamma-in-laW's cab
stop at the door, and we ran out into the hall
10 welcome her There she was smiling and
shaking her ringIets as pIayiully as ever while
INC cdoman was bringing in three trunks, two
haAjbOXes. and huge brown paper parcel
My heart sank within me, but | was aroused
by being deputed to pay the cabman for
which purpose the dear creature handed me
eighteenpence. Cahby demanded half a crown
and after a violent alteration. which made
me very hot and uncomfortable, and brought
out two cooks and q housemad from adiojn-
ing houses to see the fun / compounded with
him for two shilngs, which was his proper
fare. paying the extra sixpence out of my own
pocket got inside just in time to see the SER
wants knock cut two Of the bausters with the
biggest OF the boxes / implored them to be
more careful, and they accordingly avoided the
balusters and thenceforth confined themselves
TO knocking holes in the wall and tearing Jagged
pieces out OF the paper as far as tile second floor
with this exception nothing particularly dis
tressing occurred that evening, but the very
next morning mamma-in-law made her appear
ance at breakfast (rather late) in flannel
drcssIng-gown and curi-papers Now. if there
Is anything hate more than flannel DRESSING
gown it is curl-papers. and if there is ANYTHING
hate more than cnrl-papers 1t is a flannel
dfessing-g0wn. Il make myself quite at home
my dears. you see," was her first greeting
shaking her curl-paperS as she was wont to do
her curis. though by no means with the same
effect. thought she did, cOnfound her. but
swallowed my annoyance and ventured to hone
she had slept well. No. If she must tell the
f..-k IA f,xr1af -f,lr H. 4