The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-06-28
A BIGGER FOOL.
IDrake,s Travellers Magazine. l

.Drakeis Travellers Magazine
 During the construction in Arkansaw of the Little Rock & Fort Smith railroad, the old squatters, when the line of work began, curving around great mountains and creeping along the grim and awful lodges of slate, were much concerned with regard to the enterprise, and, true to their '' raisin'," were not disposed to look upon it with the progressive eye of favor. One day when the workmen began grad ing near the cabin of an old fellow known as Coon-skin Pete, that worthy elector of a great commonwealth came out and ap- preaching one ot the engineers, asked:
 Whut on 'arth air yer doin', cap'n 2.
 Building railroad
 Wall, lowed yer was flingin' up sweet ta,er ridge Mur-that's my wife lowed yer was goin' ter dam up the creek fur the 'commodation O the beay- CTS, and Dink-that's my son, the one whu; b,. the right year of7en one O the swamp boys-he lowed yer wus doin' it fur fun. Now, sense yer mention it, oleve thar wus a passel O fellers long here some:imer go, dragin' coon chain an takin sight with t'ree-ieg stool engagement. Railroad, eh! Have yer got ernuff rails ~ We will have enough "l lowed if yer didn't, I'd split yer passel fur two dollars an CT half CT thousan' that's cheaper'n you ken buy 'em any whar else in this here com munity. wouldn't make the offer, but Mur's folks-four strappin' boys an CT powerful gal-is visitin' us, an mout as well put 'em ter work"
 You don't understand" replied the engineer, amused at the old fellow. l don't mean fence-rails, but iron-rails on which steam cars are run"
 Wall" opening his eyes. "Yer don't mean that yer air goin' ter have steam cars here, do yer."
 "Oh, yes we'll have them here now tn very short time."
 An yer won't have 'em here but short time, nuther."
 "Why?'
 "The Simmons boys'll steal 'em, that's why"
 They couldn't steal locomotive"
 "Coul9n't they wall they just could. Teller named Jones started saw-mill in this neighborhood some time ergo, an one mornin' when he woke up he foun' that the thing wus dun gone. Arter while, he foun it way over in Pennyville holler, sawin' fur the Simmons boys, 1t ter kill hissef Don't talk ter me erbou, the Simmons boys. stranger, fur never seed no,hin ye, whut they couldn't steal.r
 Well risk it. Say, my friend, where can we md some good water!'
 never seed no good water"
 What do you drink"
 ]" Anythin' you've go. handy" throw ing out chew of tobacco.
 Excuse me: didn't ask you to drink. Hows that spring down there? Water good to drink p
 Some folks drinks it,
 How far is 1t to Berry's Cove :"
 q Hundred miles or so."
 What, from here !'
 "Oh, no, not rum here; yer didn't ax how fur 1t is rum here."
 Well, how far is 1t from here"
 " Yer ken make 1t as fur as yer please, We'll, then. since you are so particu- lar. how near is it."
 "Oh, ain't particular, stranger. It's twenty-five yards
 What, from here ?"
 No, not rum here. Yer didn't ax how near rum"
 Look here"
 That's whar I'm lookin'."
 Why don't you answer a question squarely?"
 Why don't yer ax it squar'?"
 The engineer sat for a time, smoking his pipe and drumming on the end of log. Alter while, looking up, he asked
 There are a number of bluffs be- tween here and Bery's Cove, aren't they!"
 [" Now your shoutin'. Twixt here an thar lives an ole teller named Jack Spoilers. He's the bigges' bluff yer ever seed, but it's all bluff. Elf yer sit down with him he'll try ter bluff yer, but keep yer eye on the cards an hole him down. amt no great snakes at poker, but he couldn't bluff me-
 !" I've go, enough of you.' said the engineer, you may go.' ."l wus here fast stranger, am if yer want anybody ter go, go yersef."
 You are the biggest fool l ever saw" Like ter see bigger one, wouldn't yer?"
 "fes, I'd walk five miles to see bigger one.'
 Wall, yer needn't so quite so fur :: jis' go down thar ter that spring an look in. Good-day, stranger, wish yer we'll, but ef the Lord don't improve in his likes to- wards yer, my frien', you'll far mighty poorly when the trumpet blows"
 
 Boston and Emerson.
 Boston Corr. Philadelphia Times.l