Smyrna times., 1884-02-20
Littleton Coke VS.. Clara Fitzpoodle.
by THE BAAp OF TOWER HALL.
CHAPTER VII.

CHATTER VII.
To the hotel they went-and got something to
The dinner was flnished-the meal was complete |
Said the husband "we've been in this famous |
retreat
For week, and I'm thinking that now shall |
beat
A retreat for myself and my own happy bride,
And return to the city with my wife by my side
] have a bad feeling in heart and in head
Not fullness Of blood, for I've daily been bled-
And say, in whisper, OF him il may please
To be eaten by midgCs and worried 10y 1CaS,
If with watering places he haps To be smitlen,
And will, by mosquitoes aud landlords be bitten g.:
Il his chest is contracted, and he Cali initiate
Ills lungs Ill a chamber of seven by eight;
If good natured fellow, he really don't care
II bed-bugs gymnaStic climb up on his hair
II, when proving his own mathematics defective,
He swears not when finding his bill, i'll perspec-
Twice what he expectcd-some mathematician
Having prscticed the landlord in double position,
II the man is all this, and then really he thinks
That egPptng and bleeding are good tor MS
health,
And hopes that the mineral water he drinks
May atone for the loss of his mineral Wealth,
Let him go to the Springs, to the Falls, or the
But here let me hint it, my darling to you,
" II reasons my conduct hereafter should shape,
With famous resorts I'll have nothing to do
erllsty old fellow was there with his wlie
And wished he might stay there the rest Of his
A score OF lair Visitors asked for MS re0SOnS
He looked up to see if his wife was in view,
Then answered: The Falls of Niagara, tum-
bling,
Have done what naughtl else under heavens
Have drowned with their thunder the voice of
shrew,
And silenecd woman eternally grumbling.
1t was only the Monday before we came here
had lost on a horSe-race some hundreds OF
dollars
Next morning, at breakfast, she said to me:
Can you give me an eagle to buy me some col
made no reply, but looked black as December;
Took out of my pocket volume, and there
| gave her hint she will ever remember;
read her the poem called Nothing to Wear.
But here comes my WIFE she who wanted the col
will ask her the question, and she viii de-
clare
The emotions she felt when She asked for ten dol
And read her the poem called Nothing to
Wear "
Il felt" she replied, had you stayed from the
AT home with your wife, in your own proper
| place.
Had you not set the law and the gospel aside,
| By betting your money, and leaving your bride!
Had you squandsred no money for wine or cham
| payne,
| Which, profting nothing, was worse than in
Had you not your own pockets most sadly abused,
Through friends you had treated cigars you had
Had you not, disappointed, returned from the
| race
With a chill in your heart, and cloud on your
| face?
Had you feeling a spite not have vented the
| same
On your wife for your losses in no way to blame
| Had you not to your manhood been guilty OF
| treason,
With no show of defense in the province of rea-
| son.
1 might, with some profit, have listened when
| there
You read me the poem of Nothing to wear
AS it was, you had squandered some hundreds
And denied me trifle felt it was true
That whatever you read, or whate'er you might
say,
In practice your precepts had nothing to do"
The husband, thus scored by the unruly member
And spurred by the laughter then shaking the
walls,
Put on an expression d" as black as December
And left in a hurry to look at the Falls.
| TO be cOntinued)
| NoTE.-The chap above alluded to afterwards
| visited Philadelphia and, Of course, called al
Tower Hall; but alas! he could not be suited
The moment he entered the store the nap on all
smooth It. The Vests seemed to be hIreSted with
contempt, and the Pants painting for revenge
while all the garments SO slceled with indignation
towards the man who had ill-uSed his wife, tina
| nothing in the store was small enough for him
| The truth is, we make our Clothing for an amia
BILE class of customers, land the styles of our
Coats will not allow man to get his back up Il
quarrel with his wife. For this reason, those whC
live happy at home are those who patronize
TOWER HALL, may PAL!
SIS and $40 Market Street, Philadelphia.