Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-01-25

lilC oCucIdI, was 700 IllCi! lOf Iuc.
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"A Knight Tenplar in {, San Francis
co parlor described the beauties of the
Eastern coast. A San Francisco man
smiled. contemptuously and said: live
been East myself, and don t think much
of il" ':Where were your why.
East, in Omaha. The East amt as big
as 'Friseo.'' =.
'''Hcr face,' writes Mr.. Richard A.
Proctor, "tells of a remote youth---a
time Of fiery activity. Look at her
features, streaked, rim ged, and wrink-
led; they tell us Of century after cen-
tury OF disturbance. y Mr. Proctor re-
fers to the moon, and not a ballet-giri,
as might naturally be supposed.
The fair thing: Nov, Mr. Over
charge, what will it cost to have hot
and cold water put all through the
housee' "Well, I cant give a very
close estimate until the job is COM
pleted. will do the fair thing by you,
though" " So the plumber went to
work, and three months later he owned
the house. -
A hospital Professor was making AZ
.amputation: in the presence Of his STU
dent; meantime the patient groaned
and sobbed. Irritated at hearing SO
much groaning, the Professor. said to
the patient: do me the favor to keep
quiet, for we can't hear ourselves talk.
There are 100 persons here at least, and
you are the only one who is making
any fuss.'' :. :. .*> =.
Toto is walking with his grandmother
in the forest. Il say, grandma he
cries, If we should meet a wolff"
*Don't be afraid; there are no wolves,
and il one should come I would defend
YOU by putting myself in front Of you. -
''That's right replied Toto, "'for
while he was eating you [ would have
time to run away ii,
The high school girl: "Oh, Mildred, "
said Amy to the high school girl, yes
terday, 'you ought to have seen
Adolphie when I told him he couldn' t
come to see me any more---he was all
broke up $%.'Please don't say ali
broke up I"beg of you,'' replied the
high school girl; "say, He was reduced
to molecular fragments. ~. .s,#5'
Yes said Mrs. Browwns1nith, II
want q good girl, and possibly YOU
might do; but have YOU had any ex-
perience?';. "Ixparience, is it?" replied
the damsel, resting her hands on her
hips and tossing her head in the air;
.'.ixparience, is it? = Faith, and haven t
Oh been in no less than twinty families
during the last month"; .z.=:5
'"Don't you have any schools here?'
Had a kind Of s. school here last
season, but the teacher was too willing. -
ttHow sop' ''Oh, some of the fishers
asked him il he taught that the world
was round OF square, and he said, seein'
he was outsof a job, he'd. teach her
round or square-just as the School
Board wanted it teached. Said it was
immaterial. - ,~ nv"
T.. Two. Mormon missionaries recently
presented themselves at the door OF
Farmer de Almond, in Franklin county,
lad, and asked to stay over night. He
told them they could not be entertained.
They insisted on remaining. He went
out to the barn and brought ID a corn
knife. IF you stay I'll cut your heads
Of, - said he They left. Kentucky
Journal. =ssss p. -zs#. #. s.< III :.
Prudent ,excursionist: Butter be-
fore / sit down, I should like to. know
your charges. Now, what would a. lit
tie dinner be, with soup, fish, cut from
joint, and, say, half a bottle Of claret
---mo oderate claret, you know, and1 - - g
|Dignitied waiter: Begg pardon. Not
my sdepartmen mt to hansen. 4 questions.
(lmpressively. i only hanser1be belln'
| A rem ark ablle= cliima a,te: A Northern
tourist, engaged il ting up the title
to some Texas lands, was 1sittin q In his
room at the hotel. "A colored waiter
came IN with some clean towels. s..lVh haa
kind Of weather IS there outside ??'' p? in. in
quired the man. Is It rain nypa' J ~ as.
sab, answered. the waiter. DE fac
IS, mos all de IL eatlle NE has III Texas
lis On the outside We DOM qit much
Wedder on ae inside, dat is, no hebby
Wedaer. - elus /! Il aJs.
US .=:a ssfs n 81 Der Of bows
learn ttr;ltles PA iss tho Toronto 1als-
srgDg iii 81 fool ish lts
want them to Ed gage ii lat is iialiiutic-
Be er,l-
ed more decent tto sc & III meas mo