St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-07-26

meat" Immediately flashed through
my brain. Did one of my intimate
friends call, greeted her in my mind
with. Il see girl; her name is MAY"
Tor Lib, or Molly. whichever it might
be; -.she comes to tell some news"
My very dreams were haunted by like
examples. l saw the queerest things
Their names were gibberish. They
played strange and ridiculous pranks.
But for all that-perchance in conse-
quence of all that the book progressed
rapidly, and the first hundred lesson,
were almost completed, when mothel
received letter from cousin of hers
dated from the same place in Australia
from which Uncle Sam had come. ID
read as follows:
DEAR SARAH: Your brother-in-law start.
for Wildwood in few days. trust that ht
will arrive safely. and bring you permanent
relief from your pecuniary troubles HoG.
will find him much changed in personal ap
pearauce-the result of several hard fights in
which he has been engaged-!since you )as'
saw him. Never handsome. he is now-pe
culiur-looking. l write this especially to
warn you, and to have you warn the others
not to aliude in the slightest way to the phys
ical hlemishes it will be impossible for you no,
to observe, as any such allusion woulu have
the effect of rousng him to furious anger
With love to Samnella. upon whom he seems
inclined to look with favor. and kind rcmcm
branceS to the rest, am yours faithfully.
Tom"
And not very long after the reception
of this letter Uncle Sam made his ap.
pearance. He Uds ''peculiar-looking,
to use favOrite remark of one o. oui
oldest citizens, with vengeance"
His head was bald in spots, as though
the hair had been pulled out by great
handfuls, and his face was all awry.
Add to this the expression of an ogre,
and you will not wonder that the chill
dren, who had been hastily dressed at
news of his approach, were as hastily
withdrawn to the kitchen when he ar
rived. Poor little darlings. we gotthem
away just in time, for their lips had be-
gun to quiver and their eyes to grow
big with frightened surprise. ..They
wilt get used to him by degrees whis-
pered my mother, as l gave each OF
them a reaSsuring kiss. '.And now,
Ella dear. go back and do your best to
entertain him unity our father comes in,
while set about the dinner"
returned to the parlor. Isat down
opposite our visitor. l found a dread
full fascination in his unsymmetrical
face. could not remove my eyes from
it. essayed to speak. but before my
mouth was fairly open Uncle Sam bent
his shaggy brows and growled: "And
so you're Sam, are you9 And what
do you see that you stare in that way?"
And then the spirit of that First
Reader, in spite of all that could do TO
resist it, took complete possession of me.
l replied slowly and distinctly: Il see
man; he is queer looking man: he
has crooked nose; he has 4 crooked
mouth; he has crooked chin; he has
crooked eyes; he has an awful scowl;
he is rich man. ANA poor girl.
would rather be pretty poor gil than
a rich crooked man."
And that was the last of our expecta-
tions from Uncle Sam. He arose,
thundered forth some words which
can not repeat, broke all the mantel or
naments at one fell swoop, and left the
house never to return again.
I'll just add, to whom it may con-
cern, that soon after the hopes of
fortune from my godfather We're thus
destroyed, my engagement to Matt
Brewster was broken and that young
gentleman married Nettie Haley.
As for me, L was ..lucky' enough to
become the happy wife of John Erick-
son. And our First Reader proved
perfect success.-NdrgGret Ey.ia3e, in
Hdrper'S Weekly.