The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1884-03-20
WHITE HOUSE cRANkS.
Crazy Callers ON the President-.-The
Red Man or Revelations.


Rcd HIan or Revelations.
[Cor. Pittsburg Commercial Gazettc.l
TheWhite House is q very popular re-
sort with cranks. Every crank who
comes to Washington imagines he has
some important business with the presi.
dent. Some days the lynx-eyed SER
geant on guard 1t the White House
door turns away ten or twelv
crazy people. The sergeant was
asked how he managed to dis
tinguish the cranks from the ordinary
business callers. ats not much
trouble" he said. "But since the
shooting Of Garfield we have been es-
pecially watchful Of all the presidents
visitors. Usually we spot crank on
sight. There is wandering of the
eyes, or an abruptness Of speech, or .
wildness Of gesture, or some peculiarly
of dress or manner.
"This, however, is not always the case.
I remember short time ago I was on
duty in the grounds one night when q
reception was going on. l was APP
preached from the White House portico
by tall, clean shaved, middle-aged
man, neatly dressed in black walking
suit, who asked in tone as If he merely
wanted chat with some one Are you
a Waterman here?' In that line,' said
/. The president is giving reception,
believer 1 believe he is said /.
"A public reception, isn't ftp
, asked the stranger. I don't
know anything about that
answered. Would you take me to be q
! respectable citizen p was the next qnes-
ton. Hardly able to Judge on so short
al acquaintance said /. The stranger
chuckled quietly at this and said,
| Quite right; but from my general APP
pearance now, my manners and CONVEX
, sation, would You set ME down rs re.
spectacle or otherwise? Respectable,
i said l. Just SO. And yet, in this great
and glorious land of the free,' sarcas
tically said he, "a respectable citizen il
suddenly turned away from the door oil
the executive mansion by funkeys
! when he simply seeks, with other
citizens to pay his respects tc
the officer they have chosen
by ballot to preside over them; at 9
time, too, set apart, it is understood
for the purpose But perhaps said
! I, there must have been reason. Per
haps you are mistaken, and this is moi
public reception Asked If had q
card continued the stranger, indig
nantly ignoring my last remark
! questioned and cross-examined as if
was felon Or conspirAtor, and the
door then shut in my face. Ali right
If this is st. Petersburg, and this is the
palace OF the car, pointing to the
White House. UNANIMOUSLY wrong il
this is Washington aud that is thu
White House.
$50 far there had not been anything
in the mans manner or talk to indicat,
that he was anything more than visi
tor to the city, Disguised and iniignan
at his disappointment at being sum
MARTY deprived of what he perhap
considered his only chance whil
here to see the president; hu
suddenly changing his manner after hi
last remark, he abruptly asked me il
the sepulclral tones of the ghost il
Hamlet, DO you ever read the bible
'Sometimes,' / answered. Did yo,
ever read the book of Revelations
Yes DO you remember the red man
in that book?' 4 can't say that do
Well, read it again, guardian of tn
night, read it again. said the stranger
adding quickly, I am the red man ther
mentioned. l hold in my hands tin
fates of nations and their rulers.
make and unmake presidents--Wash
ington, Jefferson, jackson, Lincoln
Grant. and this man Arthu,
They were elected, yes. bat cleo
; tons can not change destiny
That control. Let the present oc
cupant of the White House beware
and with threatening shake of hi
long foreiinger at the man sion. the mai
started down the flag sidewalk towar,
the gateway. Now, if that fellow ha,
got in he might have behaved rs vel
Is anybody. But in case he had go
started on tho book of Revelation
there is no knowing what might hav
happened"