The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-11-22

On a lark--Feathers.

" INV DN"tp" pp"''tf'
Brave little Connecticut! A land 81
wooden nutmegs and adamantine mug
wumps.
A London tobacconist displays Isaac
NewtOn's pipe in his window as an adyer
tisement.
In the excitement OF the moment i
should not be forgotten that Mulligan and
Fisher have been indicated ST.. Lopj,
Republican.
As usual, crowds of tourists visited the
battlefield of Waterloo last summer and
brought away relics turned out of the Biz
mingham factories.
The suggestion that Mr. Carl Schurz be
made postmaster general is no douh,
prompted by his very successful handling
of the Mulligan letters
The Union itself Is all right, although
crazy patriots standing on their heads may
put out flags with the union down.--Neio
orleans Ptcogune.
Has the G. o. =. got the g. B. :"
Have the Bourbons come to stay
Are questions to be answered
When the mists have rolled away
--70iedo Biade.
Mr.. Blaine, in discussing with an inter
viewer the incidents Of the campaign, al
luded to the rain In central New York on
election day as having drowned him out,
as 1t were.
The Boston Pest prints rooster with u
long tail, and says
Don't forget the appendix,
The gallant T. A. Hendricks"
20, for the wings OF a dove" she sang,
AS she was puzzling her brains as to what
new ornament she should put upon her
new fall bonnet
A little town up in New York has a
skating rink that they call "Nisgara' 1t
is supposed that they call it that because
the people go there to see the "iallS.'
A young woman has been expelled from
Baptist church in New York for saying
that her pastor had kissed her four times
Served her right for blabbing
Astronomical research Is becoming the
most popular and general scientific work
of the age. Every few days some theatr-
cal manager discovers new star LorH
Citizen
A California editor, who has evidently
been rusticating to the fullest extent of the
term, il moved to remark philosophically
that ''the passion for illicit watermelon Is
something which neither age nor infrmity
has the power to cool" @
DIR. Burchard's three RS are Il bonanza
the paragraph fend. Here are a few
specimens of the alliteratiye revel
The youth who fired the Ephesian dome
and the old party who fired the three r..
at Mr. Blaine will go down 10 history to
gether.-1tmes.
Ii the dime museum people Of the coun
try are wide awake they will commence AT
once to negotiate with Old Triple r. for
the winter He would draw Ikea mustard
piaster--Ib
A sad visaged Republican yesterday re.
gentleman with one foot in the grave and
the other in his mouth "-1ortf Co",w"t.
What glorious time the country would
be having 10 day II there We're no Rs in
the alphabet! But perhaps the old parSon
would have played the fool just the same
with three other letters--Chi Neos
The alliterative Blaine parSon may de
rive what comfort he can from the know
ledge that the "party of Rum, Romanism
and Rebellion" Is now the Rooster that
Rules the Roost--AHaBM (Gn) Conaiiu. |
non.
All the papers have had great deal 10
say about Rum, ltomanism and Rebellion |
At the same time the three RS are very
appropriate, as they suggest Republican !
Rascals Routed.--N. Y Worid
A Chicago man wanted divorce becallse
his wife persisted in singing hymns, The
Court laughed at him, and he would have |
lost his case had not the lawyer summoned |
the wife ia the witness stand and started |
her singing. At the fifth verse the Court
threw up the sponge and the divorce was
granted
An freshman In the employ of coal
dealer was once threatened with dismissal
on the ground of stupidity and perfect ina
bility to learn anything. Pat protested that
he had learned something in that service,
and, on being challenged to state it, re
piled "Shure, have learnt that eighteen
cwt. makes ton, bedad" He kept his
place and got an increase of pay.
There are a number of very eligible
young men in Pembina county, Dakota,
but no young women Although il Is not
spring, the young mems fancy lightly turns
o thoughts OF love, and, pooling their is
'ues, they have deputed one OF their mum.
Der to 60 to Boston and secure wives for ,
he rest II is commendable for Ia. Young
men TO take unto themselves wives. hut
Why 90 10 Boston.