The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-12
How Parrots are Taught 70 Talk.

a pretty poll from apoor seafaring man
Is liable to be shocked some time or
another by the racy language of the
1orecastle, and the parrot that has had
It's schooling on board Thames barge
Is apt to have an inconvenient memory
Tor phrases which had much better nave
been forgotten. The Partisan professor
would, of course, instruct his class of
birds in none save the most genteel of
phrases. But parrots, no doubt, talk at
random, and say more than they have
been taught-and nine times out of ten
the most irrelevant context every now
and again hitting off remark which
comes in so eXquisitely pat for the oc-
casion that every one is astonished. The
fact is, our world is very small, and,
like the FOOLS 80 Lord, sir.n it will be
found that a man might really get
through life with very few sentences
indeed, and yet be considered of an av-
erage'intellect. A parrot has only to
60 on saying silly thing upon every
opportunity that offers, and the right
chance is certain to come round at last,
when its silly speech at once becomes
the happiest possible. For instance,
there was bird that said nothing but
fHere's pretty go, and this was, as
rule, neither opposite nor funny. But one
day the poor thing fell out of cab win
dow, and the wheel of another cab pass
ing atthe time crushed its cage. A spec
tator PICKED up the parrot, very much
alarmed, but not hurt, and, hearing it
murmG something, put the bird to his
ear, WHEN to his establishment the thing
in a detected voice, whispered: Here's
prettygon' Nothing could have been
more exactly in sympathy with the
situation or more innocent. But this is
not always the case. The respectable
maiden lady who purchases the sailors
parrot isliable, on the slightest provo
cation, Or none at all, to find herself
addressed, even in the presence of the
clergy, il the gruffest and strongest
language of boatswain. Parrots have
no respec for select company. They
scatter their nautical terms broadcast
upon the Just and upon the unjust, upon
the butchers boy when he calls for
orders and the new curate when he
drops in for afternoon tea. Like the
Afghans, if they have charge in their
guns they must fire it off. 1t does not
matter what they fire at in the least if
there is nothing better they will blaze
away at blank wall. They shoot their
arrows, as the prince does in the fairy
tale, at random, and by and by when
he comes to pick them up he finds one
has pierced the heart of his venerable
grandmother. SO with the parrot. 1t
lets fly its familiar quotations. at
every mark or at none, and the time
comes some day or other when it inficts
mortal wound upon the susceptibilities
that are slow to recover from such
shocks. So, as rule, it is the wisest
plan to educate ones own parrot.
This is not, of course, very easy to do,
for young parrots of suitable educa-
tional age are not abundant in the
British isles. Yet when Juvenile the
bird is very impressionable. Adult, it
is liable to be obstinate, and, like the
proud Briton who refused to truckle to
the German system of genders, it often
times learns new language very I'M
perfectly. The old birds, indeed, show
extraordinary antipathies to syntax,
and get whims into their heads about
utmost patience or violence, as the case
may be, is powerlcss to dissipate. You
cannot disabuse an old parrots mind
of an error that it once has cordially
entertained. 1t has its own ideas of
grammatical proprieties and clings to
them like limpet. Yon can not shake
it on a matter of English You may
teach it another phase altogether. but
it will not forego the first. 1t will tag
the two together and mix them up-lke
the protestant kettle" of the immortal
Barnaby's raven-but this compro-
mise is the best terms you will make
with the bird. When possible, there
fore, secure young parrot, catch it at
good school-board age, and then
teach it yourself. While doing so keep
it away from the concentrating in
fluences of street boys, for a baker s
boy will teach it to ask: "Who kissed
the COOKE" in half a dozen easy lessons.
while you are wearing your days out in
impressing "God Save the Queen upon
its memory, and after all, the odds are
the bird will say: God save the cook. "
Street cries, again, are to be avoided il
possible. 1t is not well to have bird
calling seats meat during family
prayers. But above all, the educator
of the youthful fowl should herself
be circumspect in her language
and careful of the pitch of the voice,
for it will catch her Scolding tones at
once and pick up Bother that cat"'
in her exact voice, too-long before il
will learn to say, Dear little puss. y
Those who have harsh laugh, OF
suffer from catarrh, or an impediment,
or any defect of speech, should choose
other pets than parrots guinea pigs or
squirrels, or some other harmless
dumb animals-for these birds have
perfect malicious aptitude for hitting
off such weak points. If old Mr.. We'll
Ter had kept good parrot at the Mar.
quis of CRANKY the position of Stiggins
would have been impossible; the mimic
would have utterly routed the snutliine
rascal. So that the difficulties in the
way of bringing up ones own bird are
| considerable. But if it can be accom-.
plished the result will abundantly re,
pay the labor, were it only in keeping
the possessor's mind free from any dis
| quieting apprehension as to ''what the
parrot will say next" 1t is great re-
lief also to visitors to know that when
out of politeness they take notice OF
their hostess bird there is no danger Of
awkward reioinders. 1t disconcerts the