Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-10-15
BRIGHT BITS.

COL. BELYA LOCKWOOD IL accused OF Onerng
her private recipe for making mince pies to
every woman who secures her one vote
PHILADELPHIA Press.
EVEN Mrs. Belva Lockwood is assailed by
the campaign liar, who unblushlngly pro
claims that she threw q stone at neighbOr's
hen and killed it.-OH CITY Derrick.
CONE TO think about it, since Blaine pro-
tests there were no witnesses Of his first mar
riage, perhaps he was married by telegraph.
He's powerful magnetic" man, you know
Washable World.
PROF. PROCTOR announces that in 100000
years the earth's supply of water will be
wholly EXHAUSTED. Yet the ProhibitiOnlsts
keep right on crying down beer and other
substitut s.-PhiL1detDhid Press.
MRS. LOCKWOOD says that if she is elected
she will have the latest style Cabinet and fill
1t full of ancient bric-a-brac. This admis-
sion that she intends to put sammy Tilden
and DR.. Mary Walker in her Cabinet will lose
her many vOtes.-HOrristO1Cn Herald.
II TRUST that your daughter is not one Of
those tame, spirltless sort Of girls that some
times apply TO US for situations and are too
bashful TO ill them," said Boston shop
keeper TO father who was seeking employ
ment for one of his children. SIT" he re-
piled, Indignantly, "my daughter has red
hair That settled it.
UNDER the skillful manipulation of Peter
Burkett. our windows have been relieved of
the incrustatiOns from the weather of nearly
a year past, and the blessed light now beams
upon US, pure and refulgent, greatly relieving
the gloom that has enshrouded US so long.
Hail, Holy Light etc. See Milton.-EHl-
uJitSJHrg Nd Chronicle.
A DOCTOR at Indian River Mich, with
practice OF 81 200 per year, has only got hold
Of SIG cash in the last twenty months. The
rest has been taken IN orders on stores, saw
mills, lime kilns, tailOrs, undertakers and
Weil-diggeTs. One account of s. was taken
out in fddling, and the fiddler could only
play one tune.-Detr0t Free Press.
$50 YOU are the new girl" said the bosrders
" 't to d P,G'v Tyo1Y Pearl said the maid
with a saucy toss of her head. "0h" asked
the smart bOarder, ''are you the pearl of great
price," "No; 1 am the pearl that was cast
before swine," retOrted the pretty waiter.
There was a long silence, broken only by the
buzz of the flies in the milk pitcher.-AHOny-
nous.
SWEETS of the honeymoon: Husband
''Hulda, dear, as l was passing through cur
garden 1 saw some asparagus ready for cook
ing; perhaps you would like to 90 and gather
the first fruit Of the season yourselfE" Young
wife anxious to conceal her ignorance IN the
vegetable Departmental tell you what,
AdOlphus. we will 60 together; you SHAH
pluck il and | viii hold the ladder."-Hetdet-
berger Journal.
SPEAKERS to right of him,
Stumpers to left of him,
ShOuters in front OF him
SpOuted and quoted.
Deaf the Ohio man,
Gaily the gauntlet ran,
Stopped al the Doodle van.
Then went and voted!
PHILADELPHIA Netos.
ACCIDENT Of argument-"John, dear" said
the fond young wife, Il see here where they
issue accident Insurance policies for $40
year" well, what if they dOr' 81 wish
YOU would get one" Il see no necessity Tor
it, my dear; I'm very careful" "Oh, yes, l
know" she replied, "but election time is COM
ing shortly; and don't you remember how on
last election day you fell over a flour barrel
and broke your arm and blackened up both
your eyes. % XelC York Star.