The National tribune., 1884-10-02
MY MOTHER LAW.
Her Lengthy VISIT, and How | Got
Rid Of Her.

i was young, very young, ana walking the
hospitals as q medical stadent, when / first be-
came acquainted with Mrs Dimply. She was
a widow with five daughters, all of them charm
ing, but the third, Rosa Matilda by name,
quickly destroyed all my power of appreciating
the attractions of her sisters. / was introduced
to the family byha mutual friend, and from
that time became aconstant, too constant Wis
itor at their house. Once fortnight merged
into once week, and once q week insensibly
increased to twice or even oftener. 1t was a
pleasant house to visit, and we had remarkably
jolly evenings. | was rather favorite with
the whole family, but the kindness of Mrs.
Dimply was simply overwhelming. If /
chanced to be a little late she would shake her
ringlets at me, and remark in her deep voice
(she had rich meilowsveice, which always re-
minded me somehow of fruity port), Late
again, Doctor; you naughty, naughty man. |
suppose they couldn't spare you at the hospital
What thing it is to be so clever" OF course
| | wasn't DOCTOR and the hospital could have
done perfectly well without me, but the whole
thing was very soothing. Then, again, if /
sang a song, Mrs. ID. (who did so pity anybody
who hadn't soul for music would sit enrap-
tured, frowning tiercely aud holding up awarn-
ing finger if any one ventured to interrupt.
And when | had finished" Dear me, DIR.
Smithers, what sweet song, and you sing it
| SO charmingly! You must really give it US
over again. It's your own fault for singing it
so nicely" And if the subject gave her the
| ghost of chance shewould make a little gulp
in her throat as if swallowing down spasm of
uncomfortable emotion, and wipe her eyes with
the corner of her lace pocket handkerchief.
After supper, too, the way that she mixed my
toddy was quite touching. She never put less
than four Jumps of sugar Il like it sweet, and al
ways took sip herself with the spoon to make
| sure it was all right On one or two occasions,
when the water hadn't quite boiled, her self
reproach was really painful But these were
halcyon days. | must proceed to the more
| prosaic portion of my narrative
! Time went on. | succeeded in passing my
! final examination and became entitled to write
myself nj. L. G. S. OF course / rushed off at
! once to the Dimplys with the joyful intelli-
/ gence. Mrs. d. shed tears and blessed me, and
melted me to kiss the girls all round in honor
/ of the occasion. / need hardly say ayailed
myself Of the suggestion, Rosa Matilda getting
| {if l may be allowed the expression Benia-
Minis portion. | think that evening brought
matters to a crisis; at any rate, found myself,
about week after, asking private interview
with Mrs. D. and pleading for the hand of Rosa
t Mselda She was so very fond of the dear
| girl that l was terribly afraid Il was very
young, you will remember that shouldn't
! be able to induce her to part with her; but, to
my surprise and relief, she gave her consent
without the slightest pressing and, taking me
! into the drawing-ro0m, introduced me TO the
! girls with much emetion) as their future
brother. Of course 1 kissed them all round
once more; Mrs. d. kissed me, remarking that
| reminded her so much of dear Dimply. The
/ departed ID. unless his portrait was a libel)
had been podgy little man, with snub nose,
| and much marked with the smallpox; but /
| felt that the obSeTyation was intended as q
compliment, and accepted it accordingly.
Fortunately fors myself was not entirely
dependent on my profession, and after brief
/ engagement we were married. pass over the
/ xrhi oh rcas iLra any
other wedding. lthink perhaps got rather
more than the avsrageiquantity of rice down
/ my back, and we drove away with two white
satin slippers (oddtones, unfortunately on the
roof ofthe carriage, Mrs. ID. was much affected
Fat parting, entreating me to love and cherish
| her dear, dear girl, and was scarcely pacifed
even by my feryent assurance that had every
intention of doing SO.
We spent three delicious weeks in the Isle of
Wight and then took possession of our new
| home, pretty littla villa in ST. Johns Wood
We had been installed about 10 days when an
affeetionate letter arrived from mamma-in-law
| announcing her intention of coming to stay
/ week with us and see how we were getting on
/ 1t struck me that it was little early for such
a visit but it would have been ungracious to
make any objection. She arrived the same even
ing. Rosie and | were sitting together gshe was
! sitting on my knee, in point of faet,) when We
heard mamma-in-law's cab stop at the door, and
4
| she was, smiling and shaking her ringlets as
playfully as ever, while the cabman was bring
| ing in three trunks, two bandboxes and a huge
brown paper parcel. My heart sank within
me, but / was aroused by being deputed to pay
the cabman, for which purpose the dear crea-
ture handed me Is pence Cabby demanded
half crown, and after violent alteration,
which made me very holland uncomfortable. and
brought out two cooks and a housemaid from
Il adjoining houses to see the fun, compounded
with him for two shillings, which was his
proper fare paying the extra sixpence out of
my own pocket. got inside just in time to
see the servants knock out two of the balusters
with the biggest Of the boxes / implored them
to emore careful, and they accordingly avoided
the balusters, and thenceforth confined them
selves to knocking holes in the wall and tear
ing Jagged pieces out of the paper as far the
second floor. With this exception, nothing par
ticularly distressing occurred that evening" but
the very next morning mamma-in-law made
her appearance at breakfast (rather Iate)
in flannel dressing gown and curl papers.
Now if there is anything | hate more than a
flannel dressing gown, it is curl papers; and if
there is anything hate more than curl papers,
it is flannel dressing gown. "Imake myself
quite at home, my dears you see" was her first
greeting shaking her curl papers as she was
wont to do her curls, though by no means with
the same effect. / thought she did, confound
her, but Tswallowed my annoyance, and vent
ured to hope she had slept wells No, if she
must tell the truth, (which she needn't have
done on my account, Pm sure,) not very well
She never did like those new-fangled spring
mattresses. Nothing like her old-fashioned
feather bed at home, for her. (The retort was
obvious but, of course, didn't make it, And
then again, she couldn't help thinking that the
sheets were not quite aired. and there was GER
tainly dTaught from the left hand window.
promised that all these little matters should be
seen to, and asked if | might help her to an
egg or a rasher of bacon.
Thank y0u, no, I'm really afraid-eggs make
me bilious, and bacon always disagrees with
me; but if you happen to have such thing a:
, a bloater in the house now" OF course We
didn't happen to have such thing in the
! house, but / promised that our establishment
should be kept permanently provided with
bloaters for the future, and the dear woman
f kindly accepted three pork sausages as a TEN
porary substitute q may mention incident
ally that | ordered a quarter of hundred o
real Yarmouths for her the very same day Sht
ate two of them, and then discovered tha
bloaters made her so dreadful thirsty Nc
! other member Of our household cared for them
E and the remaining %, after giving sort O
. sea air to the establishment for fortnight
. were ultimately given to the milSman.)
The first thing after breakfast the dear crea
. : ture said sweetly. Now, Rosie, my love, Civ,
! me your keys and I'll set your store cupboar(
to rights for you. I don't intend you to be botn
r cred with any housekeeping during the weel