The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-09-14
THE NEW YORK POLICEMAN.
The Pen Picture of zone of the
Finest


York policeman, the more become sat
urated with awe. With the exception
Of thephysicians, the police are the only
persons in New York authorized by law
to take human life. Like the knight
Grant of the middle ages, the New York
policeman is, to all intents and pur-
poses, not amenable to human law
The reader of Don Quixote will remem-
Der the amazement of the knight of the
Sorrowful Figure, when that redresser
of grievances was arrested for one of
his numerous assaults and batteries.
When the officers OF the law undertook
to read the capias to Don QuiXote, that
gentleman became very much enraged,
and Selling the unfortunate minion of
the law by the throat, he nearly choked
the life out of him, exclaiming: "Don't
you know, idiot, that knights Grant are
never arrested, no matter how many
homicides they have committed?"
In other respects all likeness ends
between the pair. Don Quixote was
extremely thin. He spent many sleep
less nights, and suffered innumerable
privations, without getting any renum-
Grafton. The New York policeman gets
more sleep than is good for him, and he
is never known to miss his meals, which
are square ones, with all the corners on.
Don Quixote is supposed to have
befriended the poor, the helpless, and
the unfortunate, while those are the
class of people the policeman clubs, and
the more helpless they are, the more he
clubs them. There was only one Don
Quixote-p pronounced donkey hauty-
but there are three or four naughty
donkeys called policemen, in New York
alone.
1t is no wonder that the new police
man is terror to the populace in gen
eral He is rarely under six feet tall
and is stout and muscular in proper
tons. He takes q cold bath and practices
with Indian clubs every morning. he
is armed with .ne authority of the law
anu hickory club, and has A. calibre
I six-shooter concealed somewhere under
his blue coat and brass buttons; and as
he is backed up by the authorities, he /;
as inyincible as an iron-clad-man-of-wal
when opposed by only feet of wooden
vessels. He unites the physical brutal
| ity of Bismarck with the invisible spirit
ual authority of the pope.
| The most annoying enemy OF the New
| York policeman is the small, but lively
street Arab. The policeman suffers
more from the diminutive urchin than
he does from the assaults of the robust
burglar, Just as the most annoying
enemy of the elephant is not the lion OF
the tiger, but the sWarms of singing
insects he cannot catch. The police,
man, owing to his habit of strolling
about at his own leisure, and catching
his meals regularly, has almost lost the
power of galloping, hence when the
small boy places his thumb to his nose
and gyrates with his fingers, he is com
paratively safe, for "the cop" as he is
called, can no more catch him than a
cow can catch mouse. Nevertheless
the policeman often tries, and it is one
of the most amusing sights in the world
to see two hundred pound policeman
with club chasing forty pound boy
Formerly, the policemen had playful
custom of throwing their clubs at the
i,Small boys, but after few fatal accidents
it was discontinued, because the news
papers made such a racket about it
But occasionally, when there is fire, OF
man gets even with the small boy, who
stands with open mouth, looking on
unmindful of the danger. Then it is
|
and order, the big policeman sneaEs W
behind the doomed boy, hits him
gentle whack or two and drags him t.
the station. This is the proudes
momentin the life of New York police
man and forms a tableau never to b.
forgotten by the spectator.
1t is a cold matter of fact that have
witnessed a dozen assaults on small boy.
by policemen, and in every instance thu
boys were doing nothing Objectionable
whatever at the time they were struck
In Texas, the policeman or sheriff i,
regarded as an ordinary mortal, anC
when he commits an unprovoked assault
he is liable to be held to a persona
responsibility with shotgun, but as
have already intimated the people regard
the brutality OF the police as a matter O
course: Like the case of the eel tha
was being skinned, this sort of thing ha.
been going on SO long that the New
Yorker has not only got used to it, but
in fact, he seems to like it.-f4le1. e
Street in Ter1S SiftiD1s