Morning journal and courier., 1884-12-08
PATHETIC.

There are several ways to health, includ- ing the allopath, the homoeopath and the hy- dropath. Boston Transcript.
 A medical journal devotes an entire col umn telling how to fall asleep; we can do it in three words: "Go to church."
 Bustles have been revived. A few years ago fashion showed disposition to sit down on them altogether.-New Orleans Picayune.
 At the great Astor wedding the refresh ments were served on solid silver and gold dishes They ''ain't no" china Astors-that family ain't.-Lowell Courier.
 The New York Commercial Advertiser says: ''Theo has ninety-six pairs of silk hose" We wonder if the Advertiser man counted every darned pair.-Lowell Courier.
 Johnny was kicked by his pony. ''What made him kick youg' inquired his sympa- thizing aunt. F'I don't know" sobbed John nie; 'I didn't ask him. ."-Somerville Journal.
 It is said that rum fills our jails, but we have a letter from resident in one of them who assures us of the absurdity of the asser- tion. He says he has never seen drop of it since he took up his abode there.-Boston Post.
 A Connecticut military inventor is trying to sell poisonous air bomb, which descends upon the foe and asphyxiates everybody within a radius of 100 feet The gentleman laS 6V1QonCly UraVeleQ 8 good Oea1 on WlnLeF street -Courier-Journal.
 F'Wel" said George, II must go," and then he said good night with the Emma Alb bolt attachment thereto appertaining. eff you must, you mussed," replied Linda, Hook at my hair and ruffie." And he ruff hed.-Burlington Hawkeye.
 Tom Jones, a noted fiddler had been en- gagged to play at ball in certain town in Maine The day before the affair to come off his wife died and the managers took the liberty to secure the services of another; but Jones hand at the appointed time and when they expressed surprise at seeing him there under the circumstances he ex- cussd himself by saying: "Wa'al, I thought the matter all over and cum to the conclusion that seeing as how Sally was no blood rela- tion of mine might just as we'll cum and fiddle for ye."-Harper's Bazaar.
 When q drummer has made up his mind to sell a merchant goods, the merchant might as well make up his mind to buy. A Dallas merchant refused to buy any whiskey from a St. Louis liquor drummer ''It's not worth while showing me your samples, " said the merchant in very determined manner; "I have no cellar to store any wine, even if wanted to buy" The drummer put up his samples and disappeared. Half an hour af- terward he burst into the merchants count | ing room, his face radiant with joy. "Allow 1 me to congratulate you. Everything is ar | ranged" "What's arranged" "All about | the cellar. I have hunted you up a cellar, and rented it for you at $40 month. "- | Texas Siftings.
 1 "MAN's TNHUMANITY TO MANI Man wants but little here below, 1 Nor wants that little long. | So the oft-repeated text | Of that old-fashioned song. l My wants are few and easy met, | don't desire a store of wealth; Content if lodged and clothed and fed, A little fun and robust health. My wants indeed are few. Alas! 1 wish all others were, | But several other people seek | My little store to share.
 | My landlord wants from me his rent; l My grocer wants 'his little bill;' My tailor seeks to claim his part, | hardly can their wants fulfill. The city wants the taxes paid, | The butcher SwearS in accents solemn l He wants cash. and so the list
 Might be extended to column. | Man wants but little here below,'' ! And I the world could live at peace in;
 'Tis other folks that want so much, | And whose demands never ceasng. 1 Boston Globe