Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-07-02
WIT AND HU16OFR

ssII 49, AUMON
Ayounk man asks: aWASn d The
heatlins = m0sse' When ths ront b
dnA
frenskmah M disprovsd ths no
tion that garlic d : ture for hydropho-
bia. This Will rob tho disease Of much
" II tsrror.
4 pcst SAirps: ..Encirclcd By that
sYawnt1ea rulf1 Stood sntrsnced." Il
slooks'Iik6 ! delicate intimAtion OF the
fact that 10 tried to kiss = St Louis
giri.
Not - broad - its long.-Sleeping-
car conductor: ssYou can roll In when
ovef ron want. to-" Fat man: Eyes,
~ roll out ! don't want to-
1esss 6iftis1s.
Rosa Bonheur's hair turned white
during her recent illness. Mr.. Barnum
would rive considerable Il his lately
acquired elephant would do likewise.
1t 4 now about the color OF the ashes
q Accent cigar.
a little ~5-yearNold boy, who had seen
: peacock for the first time, ran into
tho house, oxclAtming 70 his sister:
s-Oh, Lizxiel I've seen . great, big.
monstiferous tail walking round, with
: hen tied 10 itr'
A religious weekly tells ..How to
ke1p from going to sleep in church."
One way u 70 changs your minister;
but the most effective way ID to 70 6sh-
ing IN the morning, and remain homo
~ nf0ht 70 f0at
A woman started the first daily paper
d tho world IN London In 17O2. It II
believed that she did It TO break up .
sewing society which would not admit
boz The paper publishsd AL the news
beeprs - sewing society met and in
leosthan : month the society went TO
pieces.
- ) medical examination the pro.
feseor said to : student: Il will sup
pose thst ! man has fallen into . deep
excavation and broken his skull upon
one Of tho tools the workment left
there. You arc summoned. What
would you dot'' The student: 'Iwould
leave tho man there and have the ex-
cavation filled up!"
Thomas Holloway, the pill man. Is
dead. He WA worth 80. GOO, 000. He
never took any Of his own pills, and
died at tho age Of "a years. fully con-
WINGED that there il more dollars in
selling pills than there 10 cents Is TAX
ing them. Reader, 90 thou and do
likewise. The Hasckcye il the bsst adj
vestising medium in America. Bur
tjn0ton HdUkeye.
The Empress Of Austria can set type.
-ErcAGnge. We have been fortunate
enough to obtain . proof-sheet of .
dozen '.~society" items set BY the EN-
press. and present herewith . speci-
men OF her composition: .sTqe Beauti-
yul MAMIE Krowskie. woo Dresses Nth
such exsetlen9 10 visi9inS heI friend
Lujie Observation-Disclosures Her.
old.
At An evening school for adults in
Hornsey THE Horse" was given to
the pupils - : subject Of composition.
An agricultural cottager-one of those
who win shortly have . vote-set to
work with . will, and executed the fol-
lowing: THE ors Is the noblest of an
ermals and 80 is the kow. Ii you hit
i'm he won't do it. The ors has 4 legs
l In each korner. Finis. London
Graphic.
According to the Philadelphia Times,
society In that city Is agitated yer the
question whether the window reject
ors' which arc put out at sccond-story
windows, to allow the inmates Of .
house to sos what Is going on outside,
and, in particular, who is ringing the
front door bell, are 10 be tolerated. 1t
seems to be very generally agreed that
they are convenient, but In '.horrid
FORM" They are very numerous.
A mother seal followed a schooner
which had captured her baby along the
coast Of California for eighty miles.
After the vessel reached tho wharf at
Santa Barbara the young seal was tied
up in q jute sack and let loose on the
deck. Soon after coming to anchor
| tho seal responded to its mothers calls
by casting itself overheard, all tied up
- il ~ in tho sack. The mother
seized the sack, and with her sharp
teeth tore It open. and the reunited
pair swan of together. -1dlcs of tn
Pacific.
The mcanest girl has just been found.
She 10 nm Abba, Iowa, girl who has d
pet cali, which she has battered in the
front yard. She has taught it to fight,
and when her fellow takes his depar.
turo she loosens the picket 0 p and
rope and tho calf hutts him over. She
PUSHES to his rescue with seemingly
heroic devotion and saves him. Hero.
Ism Ii . great quality in a woman. but
It h unfair for . girl to win the affec.
lions Of her fellow BY this deception,
matter II ignorance Il bliss.
A merchant in Berlin. having fallen
Ia lovo with m opera singer. purchased
two dresses and sent them TO her "a
make her choice. saying he would cal
to know her decision. Shortly, how.
ever. before tho hour he had intended
to set out o. his errand, the merchan,
received from his beloved q billet d0ua
to tho following effect: .sOf the dresses
you have sent I like one quito A. vol
- the other. ! will, in fact keep both,
90 that you have no need to call"
WELL" said tho proprietor Of . sea-
Ride hotel to his chief clerk. lit Is abou,
time We were thinking about needed
improvements" what are you 20.
Ing to do in that linep" asked the clerk.
LET me see,n answered the prupric-
tor. meditAtivcly; 1--WE must air al oul
mattresses. the kitchen will have 70 be
whitewashed. four OF our six bathing
suits need patching and thcre will have
to DO . new button put on the ladies'
bath house door. Il seems to me Nc
ara never done with expense"
MI. Schmidt" raid I German gen.
tleman ysSterday. - no entered : Pitts.
burg merphant's Office ..MisteI
no hdifled fsply. ssdcss'fi como here. y
and the clerks rapidly disappeared in
various directions. ssvot's der madden
NIT you fellers anyhow" pursued
Schneider. Il hat der small pox full
Of buttsr oud in nina wagon vot dor
Mrs Schmidt ortored last wick Il