Daily Republican., 1884-05-19
A mi, RP00koR.

A queer case has just come to light
in Chicago. A young man spent an
evening with girl, and, during the
evening, while the family were present
In the parlor, he was az demure, and
bland and childlike as could be wished.
The mother came into the room, after
the family had retired, to get hand
kerchief she had left, and the young
man was seated in chair in the middle
room, while the girl was seated on
sofa, and nothing that the mother
could zee in the actions OF either leo
her to think they were more than pass
| ing acuuaintances 1t seemed to her
as II tue young people had met before,
but there was no evidence that they
we're very we'll acquainted. All night,
after he mad gone, the girl complained
of a pain in her side, and in the morn
ing doctor was called and he found
| that two Of the girls ribs were broken.
How it was done nobody knew. The
girl could not tell for tho life OF her,
though she blushed when asked about
| II, and the mother looked very wise az
she looked at the doctor. The doctor
made some inquiries, set the ribs, and
went away, and the girl proceeded to
recover. That evening the young man
called and was astonished when in
formed of the young girls njuhss, and
wondered how 1t could have happened,
though the mother watched his face
Close as he spoke, and detected not only
a blush. but profuse perspiratlon on
his face.
She had been girl once herself, and
Though she had never had any ribs
broken, she bat been hugged some. 1t
was a trying position for all Of them
The father was away on II trip to Wis
censln and when he came home the
matter had to be explained to him He
was told that the ribs just simply broke
themselves and that neither the mother,
nor the girl, nor the young man could
account for it, and yet all three OF
them blushed terribly. The father pat
ted his girl on the head, told her she
would be better when she got over IT,
and then called the young man int
the library The young man was &c
weak he could hardly walk, and when
he sat down he took out handkerchief
and mopped his brow and wished
Ihe was dead. The father looked the
lyoung man over and was sorry. he IL
nally said :
| "Young man, guess I call give you
some points on hugging. You musl
first learn that girl is not constructed
on the same principle as an iron fence
or truss bridge. A girl is delicate
lpiece of mechanism, like a tlne watch
full of little springs, wheels, jewels
etc. The breaking OF any OF these
would cause her to cease keeping time
and necessitate her being taken to q
|jeweler for repairs. In hugging gir
you don't want to 20 at 1t az if you
were raking and binding, or catching
sturgeon. l know that where the
family sits up late with the young
couple, and spoils several precious
hours of hugging, that unless the young
man has good head, when lett alone
with the subject of his affection, thai
he Is liable to overdo the matter, anc
try to make up for lost time. He seem'
to want to hug up lot ahead, anc
grabs the girl as though he wanted tt
break her in two.
"This 10 wrong. You should 60 at l
calmly and deliberately, even prayer
fully, and be as gentle as though sh'
was au ivory fan. The gentle pressure
of the hand that girl loves, even thu
touch, is as dear to her as though yor
ran her through a stonecrusher. Yor
should not grab her es you would bal
of oats, and leave marks on.her that will
last q lifetime. A loving woman shoulc
not be be made feel that her life Is II
danger unless she wears corset mad'
of boiler iron. l hope this will be
lesson to you, and hereafter, If you can
not control your feelings, will provide
wooden Indian for you to practise
on at first, until you have developed
your muscle, and got tired, and thet
we can turn our daughter loose in 6
70 ,m with you and not feel that it Ii
; necessary to keepa surgeon handy.
"In allowing you to keep company
with my daughter do notagree to pro
vide you with human gymnasium
dressed in Mother Hubbard wrapper
and wearing bangs, You can readily
see that q girl would not last a season
through if she had to have ribs set once
week. Please think this thing over
and if the girl is well enough next Sun
day yon can drop in and try some NOR
ribs. Now you 60 home and hug ha
rack for an hour or two, and have i
repaired in the morning"
The young man went out into tn
night air, took his hat off to cool hi
! head and hired a man to kick him.