The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1884-09-25

FLIES must be expert mathemati-
clans, Judging from the way they null
tiply.
"WHY does Dina got more boaux
than I?' asked tho elder sister. II
don't know, unless it is she is little
archer" said mamma, with quiver OF
her lips.
A New HAVEN dispatch says Barbara
CANCEL, % saleslady, aged l5 years.
has been arrested for stealing from her
employers. That was certainly un-
ladylike.
"WILL the coming man be happier p
asks writer. It depends to a great
extent upon whether his wife has got
tired and gone to sleep, or is still wait
ing up for him.
"OH, mamma," said 6-year-old Ben
ME, rs brigade Of Bremen geese
emerged from the lake and waddled up
to the bank, "look at those hens with
india rubber feet
Az Irishman recently brought before
justice for being drunk was asked
what excuse he had for becoming in
toxicated. "Seven excuses, your honor
replied the inebriatc. @Seven excuses 7"
"Yes, seven. Now, don't mind telling
yon oil about il. You see. have got
six boys in my family, and last night
its girl, my lord"
$50 You went to tho circus, Mary? ?"
40, yes, and enjoyed myself very
much." "Did you see the Kangaroo in
the menagcrie?' u did. and felt sorry
for it. Poor thing, it is dying, isn't it -
why, no. What put that into your
head?" "The way it acted. When
saw it il seemed to be on its last legs =
"DID not some high words pass be-
tween them before the first blow was
struck" asked lawer in m Austin
court, of eolored witness. High
words! No. indeed, sah Dey used
de lowest kind oh talk. could under
stand ebery word dat pass between 'em
pnilectly. Dey talked right plain to
one anuder. Ierus SJtings.
A WRITER in Nature on the subject
OF "Unconscions Bias in Walking" shows
that in some cares il may be very
marked. especially in returning home
after banquet, where there was feast
of reason and flow OF one thing and
another: but it is not called 'uncon-
scions bias in walking in this country.
1t is called "whooping it mp with the
BOYS"
| THE late John A. Collier was once
arguing u case before the full court,
and he read from the opinion of the
court below, rs follows: "The point
that this action was barred by the
statute Of limitations was very earnest
~ pressed by the able, learned, and
distinguished counsel for the defend
| ant Here Mr. Collier stopped, took
off his spectacles, and, looking blandly
at the court. said. May it please your
honors, that's me-"
Col. CLocKMELL is very proud OF
his little son. and never loses an op-
portunitv to exhibit his precocity. Sew
eral nights ago the Colonel had COM
pany. George, tie bright youngster.
entered the room. "Dont you see the
ladies' and gentlemen, George?' "Yes.
"Well, why don't You speak," "Cause
I don't want to- "Yon must not talk
that way. What have you learned Mt
the kindergarten" "Aint learned
nothin'" oh, yes, You have. Who
is the President Of the United States p
Arthur. That's right "Say,' said
the boy. looking mp with an mir OF sud.
den interest. II want yon to get me a
bird " "What 10 you want with a
bird?" "Ride on it." You cant ride
on bird. son. iou are too heavy.
mo, amt, cause mamma said YOU
went ont on lark The examination
was brought to precipitous CLOSE
irkaHsan Trdreler.