Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-05-17
Saturday Smiles.

Washington paper publishes an article en-.
titled "A Plumber In Heaven" The plumber
should not be judged too hastily. 1t is thought
he can prove an alibi.-NorTistoDn Herald
''rd hate to be in your Shoes" said a woman.
as she was quareling with a neighbor "You
couldn't get into them," sarcastieally replied
the neighbor.
When you see a counterfeit on the sidewalk,
pick it up. You are liable to arrest If you try
to pass it.
Even a hog wouldn't touch tobacco" ex-
claimed Jones, who didn't chew. TO Smith.
'Well. returned his friend, as he took out his
plug, who resembles the hog most, You or II"
-NeD York Graphic
A point to the wife whose husband spends bat
few evenings at home: piece of soap left on
the stairs at house cleaning time has been
known to keep man in the house for three
months Chicago Sun.
Now, when Philadelphia man goes home to
the bosom of his family at night and white marks
plainly dlscernable on different quarters ofhis
black coat his wife doesn't accuse him of hav
ing spent the evening pushing billiard balls. for
she knows that it is possible that he may have
been to the circus and leaned up against the
'white" elephant Yonke-s Statesman
Mr.. Elliott Coues, the Washington ornitholo-
gist gives a terrible blow to the popular In.
deed proverbial belief that the lark Is an early
riser, and says that he Is laggard getting ur
hours after earlier birds. Probably the prcyert
refers to the larks which begin at 10 o'clock al
night. and are still vocal at o. clock In the morn.
ing.-N. T. World.
This being leap year. girls are in doubt
whether. when IT becomes necessary to climb Q
fence tOrreach the picnic ground. they ought to
climb the fence or request the chaps to let down
the bars.-BOstOn Times
When Young girl finds four-leaf clover II ID
a sign that she will be married within year,
and she must carefully preserve the leaf until
her wedding-day. It is said that Dr. Mary
or q -laa fcl
which she is still carefully preserving. There 10
something In signs, after all-Ao'Ttstotcn Her.
add
ninth street damsel whose mother has the
picking craze commissioned her young man the
other day to get wide-mouthed jar at Beltt
drug store. The young man insisted upOG
knowing what she wanted Ii for. well, In VOC
must know" she snappishly answered, II want
it to match my beau" He bottled him self ar
at once Wilmington Star.
At party not long since. where questions
were put, and facetious II not felicitous answers
expected, a coal dealer asked what legal au-
thOrity was the favorite OF his trader One an.
swered Cooke" Fright, said the coal dealer.
Another suggested. Blackstone" Good,
too" said the questioner. Then little hard.
faced man in the corner piped ont, s.Littieton."
Whereupon the coal dealer sat down without
saying anything.
"And 90 now they're engaged? Well. Jessie.
to think Of you, with your beauty and accom-.
plishments. and your lovely voice. being cut out
by snch An ignorant little fright as that Maggie
Quickson You sang to him, suppose?"
Eyes, mamma, by the hour. But she made
ments for him"
why, can he sng?"
"No. mamma; but she made him believe ne
could!"-LOndon Punch
Gdruggist who has opened new store at the
South End advertises: "Arnica sticking plns-
Ter. spilnts, oandages and other base ball goods"
Boston Commercial Bsuetin.
The washington EVENING STAR had q fire In
It's once. but as 1t occurred ia pile of waste
paper. largely composed Of fresh spring poems.
the flames did not rage very fercely. oinctn-
matt Commercial