Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-09-05
ISLAND POND VERMONT. FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 5 1884.

prolonged inactivity, or that he should
lose his voice for want of practice, had,
like Robinson Crusoe, brought home
little man Friday to talk to, and also to
use as a mouthpiece for himself and wife.
Things now went on with less blundering
and uncertainty, for Teddy was made the
medium for conveying the thoughts or
wishes alternately from one to the other.
But John monopolized so much of the
boys companionship in his new-found
delight at giving vent to speech, that
Mrs. Benton still led rather lonely life.
But" though she, "what is sauce for
the goose ought to be sauce for the gan
der, and will have girl Friday before
the week is out, in order to strengthen
and improve my vocal powers"
And so she did. Never was there a
more astonished man than was John Ben
ton on the evening that he came chatter
ing with Teddy into the kitchen and
stopped upon the threshold to listen to
the irrepressible flood of female CONVEX
sation that was being poured forth
within. Indeed, so intent was Mrs. Bon
fan tN.isN-.aet AaSE lOhIS
feelings that she did not notice the trans
fixed figure of her husband standing
there till her startled ear caught the re-
mark:
"Well, Teddy, this is a surprise party,
isn't it2"
"Those, Maggie" said Mrs. Benton,
fare the other half Of this family"
The Benton household was no longer
at "sixes and sevens" for want of inter
prefers between the two heads, but it was
a prolonged Quaker meeting as far as
mingling of the sexes was concerned.
Each of the heads of the house now had
a victim upon which he or she could in
fict unending volubility.
1t was about this time that John COM
municated to his wife the mistake in re-
gard to the dress money, and refunded
to her the amount. She in turn, through
her mouth piece, intimated to him that
his company and services in driving the
family horse would be acceptable to take
her to the city to purchase her gown.
To this he readily assented, as he also
had business in the city. They had
agreed upon plan of communication be-
fore leaving home, through small slate
such as dumb people use among those
who do not understand their language.
On arriving at the gorgeous store they
manifested an awkward uneasiness, and
paused a few minutes before entering.
This mute business in public was evident
ly not relished by either of the parties.
But finally they entered. Mrs. Benton
was greeted by polite salesman. She
made known her wishes, and soon great
mass of various fabrics of all colors was
spread out for her inspection. She asked
the price of piece of particular shade
that she fancied, she priced another piece
of different color, and during all this
time she was vainly trying in some indi-
rect way to get an expression of opinion
from her husband as to his preference.
But she ANONYMOUSLY failed. Her face
grew hot and excited. She was not on
speaking terms with her husband, and
yet she loved him well enough to refuse
I to purchoee ~eap Glross the COLOR Of
which he might not approve. She shrank
from the humiliation of the slate, but
! finding there was no alternative but a
violation of her vow, she produced it,
and asked him the simple question
upon which her heart was set. For
answer he simply put his hand on
the piece of her choice, and she smiled
pleasantly as she turned to the spruce
and accommodating salesman. The lat
ter, taking in the situation at glance
with the keen eye of an expert in
humanity, and supposing it was of
course a question of dollars and cents
she was propounding to her unfortunate
deaf and dumb husband, rapidly wrote
upon bit of paper; "Splendid goods
wear like iron; never fade; very cheap;
fifty per cent. below cost price; never
get another chance like it, ;" which paper
he placed in the hands of the astonished
Mr., John Benton.
"What's this?" he exclaimed, looking
alternately from the clerk to his wife.
'"Pears to me you're in a hurry with
your bill, young man."
Never was there q more astounded
salesman behind counter than this.
And his chagrin equaled his surprise.
With confused apology, which seemed
to include something about "deaf mute, ,
he tried to make amends by renewed
courtesies and attentions to Mrs. Benton
who was plunged in misery. 1t is hare
to conceive of woman SO wretched who
had just come into possession of new
and handsome outfit.
John Benton's special business in towr
was to pay an insurance preminm, and ht
and his wife called together at thu
palatial official office of the company
While waiting their turn to be accom-
modated, John and his wife stood nea
the door. AS he was looking over
city directory to pass away the time
his wife, being seized with new idea
wrote it out, and handed him the fata
, slate. John, for convenience in reading
: the sentence on the slate, put the direc
, tory under his arm, whereupon, just a
this moment, the pompous secretary o
, the insurance office came in from tn
street, and taking in the situation witt
the keenness of sight and astuteness thai
, characterizes the discerning city man
from dry-goods salesman up to a higl
official of an insurance company, h
touched the fated John upon the arm
, and pointed to card upon the wall OF
, which the legend ran thus, ''No beggers
peddlers or book agents allowed to pur
sue their avocations here" 1t wa
, some time before John or his wife coulC
comprehend the connecting link betweel
themselves and that card; but when
with the mild assistance of the officia
dignitary, it dawned upon them tina
John was taken for book agent Mrs
Benton turned purple with rage, and il
, explaining their business there did no
+ spare the feelings of the wretch VIII
! had given another sting to her woundec
, pride. But John was disposed to laugl
. 1t off and still further add to the con