davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-08
Getting There.

II doesn't take great while to get
a boy out Of a place where he wants
to stay. Man comes out into the or
chard.
"Child'cn come right down out en-
that are tree this mnutc!'
(Which tree?"
"Why that un yer in
"This one?'
Eyes that one"
This one here by the fcnce?"
"Yas, tibet un yer in
This one with the red apples?'
eyes that 'un, an ! don't want to
tell you agin."
"Wcll we're comm down"
"Well come down mighty quick"
"Well, | am
Hurry, then"
"Must | come clean down."
Clear down on the ground, and ge
thar mighty quick, too
"Well'-slowly sliding down tn,
trunk. 81 am down what you holler
in at me for?"
Ii there are ten boys in the tree, tn
entire dialogue with variations has t.
be repeated for each boy, in case til
man is their father or some near rela
tive, and by time the last boy get
to the ground, there isn't an apple o.
the tree. In case the interviewer is
stranger OF a dog, however, the frs
wordro PREDATORY bark isn't complete
before the tree is as desolate and solit,
: ry as a garden ofcucumhers,-Burlin:
ton IIawkeye.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-08
a Disguised EAMGIe.

One day there appeared on the
streets of Texas town, Il dude Of the
dudiest type, and, OF course, he was
the observed OF all observers. He was
quiet in everything but his dress, and
until about -four O'Clock in the after
noon he got along very well and at
that hour he went out for walk, and
rs he passed Il saloon on the opposite
side OF the street, he was saluted by Il
chorus OF yclls from a lot Of cowboys
assembled in front.
PUT thimble over it, "Tie II blue
ribbon to it, ""Do it up in pink cot
tom Grease it and slip it into knot
hole, Give it to a tailor" and such
EXPLANATIONS rang out, and the
dude walked very slowly and took it
all in.
Finally, Bolus Hankus, the Terror
shouted
Hold on, boys; git still minnit
an watch the fur fly. Stick youl
peppers on to that tubular biler hat
and see me shoot a hole clar through
it,
Bolus pulled his gun, and The
other boys stood back to enjoy til,
sport while the dude walked slowe
than ever
Pop went the gun and the hat flew
but the dude, quicker than flash, whirl
ed around and long pearl handle,
revolver shonc in the sunlight for Al
instant and then cracked. Bolus
hat jumped six feet off his head, an
before any of the boys could thinl
five more hats jumped up, afte
five little putfs of blue smoke ros
from the other side, and then tn
crowd, with YELL broke around til
corner as if a cyclone had been afte
them.
The dude smiled and scratched h
chin, reAcctiyely,
"Well, he said to himself, "clothC
docs make some diff in mans looks
nm I'm thinkin' if the boys he
knowed wuz Jim Beardsley they'd
let me had my little sport. and II,
got their hats spilled. Well, we
sich is life. guess | had bett
go over and let 'em irrigate thei
selves on my bank accountable
chant Traveller.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-08
Promi.rs.n..s ..,.,1s.rine..

The other day lnIIuh-l0oklng
tramp, With scarcely enough clothes
on his gaWu frame to wad Il shot
gun, shullled up to bar on Third
street and suid to the bar-kecpcr;
"pardncr after Il man has lost all he
had in d cyclone, and"
ooh! that's too thin" interrupted
the miXologiSr; cyclone sufferers or'
as thick as bees up this way
"fou guess too hastily, pardner, !
Was ii.t goin to tell you little cy-
clone story. 70 be honest with yoU
though, my once pinccly wealth was
all swept away whcn the roarin', red
tongucd fire fcnd swept the noble city
OF Chicago fr0m--'
you'd better take stroll. The Chi
cago sufferer racket was worked out
long ago
"Mebhe it WAS, pard, mcbhr it was ;
but, say, you can never imagine our
dreadful suilrrin's when we war
driven from our rooms into the
freezin' air when the Ncwhall
house.
ooh, give your jaws rest. Eve had
more than hundred Ncwhall suyi-
yOrs here this summer. Come now,
amble Off
ain Il moment pardncr, in II mo-
mcnt. Honestly, don't YOU think it is
actually criminal for the railroads tt
draw us west with stories O fabulous
riches in the Cmu d'Alene mines, and
when we've spent the last dollar OF Il
once princely Doodle. make us walk
back agin?'
II don't want to hear another word
You can't get drink here unless YOU
put up for it, and now git"
"JSt one weird more, pardner, and
will HE me hence. lowering his vote,
almost to whisper) Do you believe
the horrible story published in the
papers that aiorc our rescue we feast {
on the bodies Of our dead comrades
Do you believe what Greedy say
about"
"Cut that short right there. No sur
yivor of the Greedy expedition is il
want. I'll bearound there with a bung
starter in just minute if you don
git out Of here"
eyes, pardner. I'll go-but let
recaptulate just moment. CycIon
sutlerin fails to perduce the bulge
eh?"
ut does"
AN misfortune brought about b
the Chicago fire fails to lure the cove
ed bottle from its lair?'
"Just So"
can the story OF poor Newha
house victim is not sufficiently touchil
to cause the ejuvinatin HuiH to heay
in sight?"
at is not
"An' Cpur d'Alcne unfortunar
can't booze up at this drunk factor
without cash?"
"Hecannot."
AN man that suffered col
privation, and hunger for the advanc
ment O science almost under Il
shadder o the north pole can't moistC
his tonsils here unless he backs II
call with legal tcnder?"
That's just the size of it,
"Then mix me good cocktail a
take yer change out o this" and
threw $40 godpiece on the bar.
man that's suffered us I've suffer
should be lent helpin' hand
the great Amesicun people, but
rather pay cash than buck agin han
ness o heart an petrified gencrosi
Put a little pineapple i'll it, an make
stiff"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-08

Jinks CATER miduighD-'Whit lovely
weather we are hay'n OF fell 3"
Finks-"Yes, lovely, but (hic) ! sec
the storm signal up.
Jinks-@storm signal Where, oil
fer?"
Finks-"Right up (hie) there-tha
light in m wife's bedroom. '-Phila
Call
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-08

1t is wrong to strike II friend. Even
if YOU strike him for two dollars. He
is certain to think that the strike is
two dollorouS for him to fully apprcci-
atc.-Ex.
4 man ought never to make an elcc-
ton bet with his wife. If he loses. he
gets bully-raggcd, and if he wins he
won't find button on his shirt for a
week.-Exchange.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-08
Science Hill Institute,
JOHNSON CITY, TENN.

The next session of this school will
begin September LIST, 1854, and con-
tinuc So weeks. Course of study thor
ough and complete. The most com
petent and best trained teachers. The
teacher of music will be lady of eX-
pcrience, possessing the highest degree
Of culture both in vocal and instru-
mental music.
Primary department per term OF months $ls5O
Academic lSO
Senior SlD
Music, with use OF instrument 320O
4 contingent fee of 800 each per
term OF A.. months, or $500 for the
session must be paid in advance.
Good board at reasonable rates.
W. A. EVANS,
Prin. Science Hill Institute.
july p, 1884
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

The correspondents all agree that the story that
the conventions in Chicago to be held in the
discarded Shoe of Il local belle was malicious
fabrication, connected in st. Louis for campaign
purposes.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Gems of Thought.

Reasons of things are rather 10 be taken by
weight than tale. Jeremy Collier.
Verify, it is the lazy man that keeps a careful
record of the little failings of his neighbors
Reuben Sleek.
To an honest mind the best perqui>teS of
place are the advantage, it gives man of doing
good. Addison.
Every man is the maker of hi> own fortune.
and must be in some measure, the trumpet of
his fame. dryden.
The most delicate the most sensible of all
pleasures consists in promoting the pleasures
of others. La Bruyere.
What great thing soever a man proposed TO
do i'll his life. he should think Of achieving ii by
fifty. Sir w. Temple.
Ii would be a rarity worth the seeing could
amy one show Us such Il thing perfectly
feconclled enemy. south.
Good counscIS observed are chains to grace
which. neglected. prove halterS to strange, I'M
duiilul children. 7. Fuller.
distinguish man that is absent because he
thinks of something else. from him that is alb
sent because he thinks of nothing. Addison.
Covetous ambition thinking all too little which
presently il hath. supposeth itself to stand in
need of all which it hath not. Sir Walter
Raleigh.
What can be urged for them who, not having
the vocation of poverty to scribble, out of mere
wantonEe>s make themselves ridiculous:-
Dryden.
As Il man may be eating All day and for want
of digestion i never nourished. so these end
less readers may cram themselves i'll vain with
intellectual food. DR.. |. Watts.
The enemy of art j. the enemy of nature.
Art is nothing but the highest Sagacty and eX
ertlOn OF human nature; and what nature will
he honor who honors not the human. Lavater.
Uncertain indeed is the efficacy. limited in
decd Is the extent. of a virtuou> institution.
But if education take in vice any part of il.
system, there is no doubt but that it will Gper-
ate with abundant energy, and to an extent IN
definite. Burke.
Let not men t1atter themselves that though
they find it difficult at present to combat and
stand out against an i'll practice. yet that Old age
wonld do that for them which they in their
youth could never find in their hearts to do for
themselves South.
Among the masses, even in revolutions. ar>
tocracy must ever exist: destroy ii in nobility.
and it becomes centred in the rich and power
fui House of the Commons. Pull them down.
and it still survives in the master and foreman
of the workshop. tiuzot.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Pastry without Butter.

The American pie has been subjected to more
unjust abuse from foreign writers than any
other of our distinctive products, if we except
the recent TRADE against the American hog.
And yet we cannot say that it has been al
together undeserved, because of the vilanous
compound, thick, hard. and heavy, that is too
often made to do duty as a ''crust," and which
by courtesy is called ''pastry.' Light. tender,
faky, and digestible pie-crust and all kinds of
pastry can be made most readily by the use of
Royal Baking Powder without any butter, or
with half the usual portion, if preferred. or
with small quantity of lard or other shorten
ing as desired. Pie-crust thus made is much
more wholesome and dgestible. besides being
more economical and easier prepared. In adj
ditiOn to saving all the butter if desired, one
third the flour is also dispensed with, as the
crust is rolled that much thinner, the leavening
qualities of the Royal Baking Powder swelling
it to the requisite thickness. If drippings or
lard be used the Royal Baking Powder re-
moves any unpleasant taste, rendering the
crust as short, sweet and pleasant as if made
from the finest butter. Those who know the
appetizing qualities of the genuine homemade
American pie will rejoice that by the aid of
Royal Baking Powder in the pastry it can be
made quite as digestible as it is delicious.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
H ooD's SARsAPAR!LLA
Rinqworn Humor and Salt -Rheum.

Works through the blood, regulating, toning
and invigorating all the functions OF the
body.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

On account of the sudden changes in the temper
allure al this and in this climate, it is almost
impossible to keep free from colds and coughs; but
prompt use of y H. Downs Vegetable Balsamic
Elixir will prevent any serious result from sud
den cold and effect speedy cure. If you are
bilious. or have the iaundice, sick headache or
dizziness, Try Bakers Mandrake Bitters. lm25
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
A Special Invitation.

We especially invite a trial by all those sufferers
from Kidney and Liver complaints who have failed
to obtain relief from other remedies and from doc
tors. Natures great remedy, Kidney Wort, has eff
fected cures III many obstinate cases. 1t acts at
once on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleansing
the system of all poisonous humors and restoring a
healthy condition of those important organs Do
NOT bp a spOuraynd Int t.,- e.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
1884. STALLION FOR SERVICE. 1884
HambletOnian Chief.

H,- NialIntov,n Inv Rrsdrl,s U,,nhln
t; ~ I Nv Il, E 'H1.'t ~ I
. - 81, ~ ~ i,,r .'l
llLA r. Ia,,, &c MA - a. "a. 49, L., S;,
EIi1,-1 , NIX i y -Iit'vt'mm ~ n'' i ~
,,irn.r m it ,'I'', U.'7 ''si'''oi'" W Ell
NM II Iin,Iitt i I ,Si H.. ,r ,,t . ,,
l,,,| ;t ,, , ~ i i'i ii9c' .! 80
30 nl'. ' Sol " w" 90 81 luuoi .
th4 dn az Nttia5 ~ 1 81 ~ ~
t: ~ ni otie ~ n s =, VI.
ress ; 20J, powers 22I JAY could BIZ and twen.
'y'lW9 others with records Of 80 or better by
'.'' '"i 9'i VI '"iO'' III 81 '','" Wy nan >
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Continued from last apeek)
How Watch Cases are Made.

This process of manufacture was invented
by James Boss, who started in business in
1851, and the methods and tools used in
making these watch cases are covered by
patents. This Is the only watch case made
under tbs process. For many years the in
PRODUCTION Of these goods was slow, owing
topopular prejudice against plated goods,
but gradually the public learned that the
James Boss Gold Watch Case was not a
cheap goid-'rashed or ciectro-plated article,
but was made Of genuine gold plates of
standard quality and thickness Conscientious
adherence to TIE determination to make
the best watch case ever pat on the market,
and the adoption Of every Improvement
suggested. has made the James Boss Gold
Watch Case the STANDARD. IAN. y MAO.
in this watch case the parts Z .
most subject to wear-the bou, croun, hinges,
MuasJ-catchcs, etc, are made of SOLID GOLD.
Send stamp keystone Watch Case Factories PhiIa
deipia Pa for handsome Illustrated
Jane. Boss' and keystone Watch Cases maze.
ITO be continued.)
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Riliousness, Sick Headache.

PITTSFIFLN. MASS.
send me by express two bottles HOODS SAR-
sAPARILLA and few Cook Books for dis
trbution Your preparation has worked
wonders in the case of my wife, who has
been troubled with sick headache and bill
iousness for years. She only took one-half
teaspoonful at a dose, and has not been so
well for five years as now. She found that
within week after taking it she felt very
much better, and is now entirely free from
those severe headaches She has not taken
any of any account since last spring. and
what little she had is lent to do some others
some good, and we must have it III the house.
Yours truly,
lInAII.p n ASH
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
a Daughters Misery.

ELEVEN years our daughter suffered on bed
of misery.
prom a complication of kidney, liver, rheu-
matte trouble and Nervous debility.
Under the care of the best physicians,
''Who gave her disease various names,
But no relief,
And now She is restored to us in good health
by as simple a remedy as Hop Btters, that we
had summed for years before using it.'-THE
PARENTS.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Honest.

After a while n man who has been in Wall street
Will find it as difficult to find employment in ii
Legitimate business does the who has been
in state prison.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

THE CUlVERWELL MEDICAL CO,
II Ann ST., New York, ~; Post Onicc Box $50.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Advertising Cheats ~!

''lt has become so common to write the be-
ginning of an article, in an elegant, interesting
manner,
Then run it into some advertisement that
we avoid all such,
''And simply call attention to the merits of
Hop Bitters in as plain, honest terms as posi-
bic,
To induce people
''ro give them one trial, which so proves
their value that they will never use anything
else.
'THE REMEDY SO favorably noticed in all
the papers,
''Religious and secular, is
.'Havins large sale, and is supplanting all
other medicines.
There is no denying the virtues of the Hop
plant, and the proprietors of Hop Bitters have
shown great shrewdness
And ability ....
''ln compromising a medicine whose virtues
are so palpable to every ones observation"
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
ESTABLISHED 1850.
What are QUAKER BITTERs ?


An old Quaker remedy that has done more to
relieve suffering humanity than all other medi-
zines combined
These celebrated BitterS are composed of
choice Roots, Herbs and Banks, among which
are Gentian, Sar>aparlla, Wild Cherry, Dande-
lion, Juniper and other berries, and are 50 pre-
pared as to retain all their medicinal qualities
Dyspepsia, Ja"adice, Ljref Conn
pt0ints. Loss Of Ippette. Hc0d-
aches. Bilious .i{tuchS, Summer
Complaints. PIeS, Kjtiitey Dis
eases, FeR05e DiHfcHifics. L0ssj-
tude. LOm Spirits, EcHeT0I Debiiify
and, in fact, everything caused by an impure
state of the Blood. or derangcd condition of the
Stomach, Liver or Kidneys. The aged find in
the Quaker Bitter> q gentle, soothing stmu]mt,
50 desirable in their declining years.
They are recommended ana used BY Eminent
Physicians and Clergymen,
REV. JAMES WESTON, FALL RIVER, MASS.
writes -! rouH ,,ol ~ mq oh{ ay, y. riHoot
QUAKER BTrTERs ia pN Io",. N,uohnos my
neres Seem ~ -,evt'D4q .aoI eafgHlo4 0a.s lrua9,
dpt QUAKER BIrrERs ad,o.s 9lioo,L ium,dmt
rriief."
No one need suffer long from any disease if
they will use Quaker Bitter, is they etltet d
cure where all other remedies fail. sufferer
try thcm. they will cure you: they have cured
thousands.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Humar In lhe Stomach.

Much of the distress and sickness attributed to
dyspepsia, chronic diarrhea and other causes is
casioned by humor in the stomach. Several cases,
with all the characteristics of these complaints,
have been cured by HOODS Sarsaparilla. Other
cures effected by this medicine are wonderful
that the simplest statement of them affords the best
proof that it combines curative agents and
when once used secures the confidence of the peo-
nj
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26


The moon had climbed the highest hill
That rises DER Penobscot bay,
And from its eastern summit she'd
Its silver light on tower and tree.
As Maggie laid her down to sleep
Her thoughts on Albert far at sea,
When low and soft voice she heard
Dear Maggie weep no more for me-"
She from her pillow gently raised
Her head to ask who there might be-
She there saw Albert shivering stand
With visage pale and hollow eye.
90 Maggie dear, cold is my clay
1t lies beneath the stormy sea,
Far, far from thee l sleep in death
SO Maggie weep no more for me.
Two stormy nights and stormy days
We tossed upon the raging main,
We stroVe alas. ourselves to save
But all our striving was in vain
And then when horror chilled my breath
My heart was filled with love for thee,
Now in the sea my sleep is death
SO Maggie weep no more for me.
Those children dear are still your care
leave them now to comfort you,
They to nv heart We're ever dear
MY cares for them were not a few.
Now farewell Maggie, children all,
We al shall meet another day,
When God his children home shall call
We all to Him will homage pay"
Loud crowed the cock, the shadow fled,
No more Of Albert could she see,
And soft the passing spirit said
Dear Maggie weep no more for me-"
"a. (jarlcV.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

The following thoughts were suggested to the
writer on hearing of the death Of Mr.. Albert Grant
of Stockton, who mate of the schooner Van
c'eaf. He was washed from raft two days after
the vessel was wrecked Capt Small died three
hours before the mate was washed overheard. The
following lines are addressed to his wife, Mrs.
Maggie Grant, a dream she is supposed to have
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

Massachusetts friends of General Butler still
make pretence of believing there is a powerful
underground boom for him. If General Butler
ever does get boom 1t will probably come from
the underground region.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Father is Getting Well.

"My daughters say:
GLOW much better father is since he used Hop
BiUer-"
ale is getting wen after his long suffering from
disease declared incurable,
And we are % Glad that he used your Bitters."
A LADY Of Utica, n. y. lm25
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

Arrangements are being made at Washing
ton, d. c., for an international single scul
race, to be open to all oarsmen in the world,
for $1,000 in cash prizes and the worlds cham
pionshp.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

An old physician, retired from practice having
mad placed III his hands by an East India mission
AIRY the formula of simple vegetable remedy for
Inc speedy and permanent cure of Consumption,
bronchitis, Catarrh, Asthma and all Throat and
Lung Affections, also positive and radical cure
for Nervous Debility and all Nervous Complaints,
after having tested its wonderful curative powers
N thousands of cases, has felt 1t his duty to make
II known to his suffering fellows Actuated by this
motive and desire to relieve human suffering |
viii send free of charge, to all who desire it, this
recipe i'll German, French English, with full di-
rectIons for preparing and using. Sent by mail by
addressing with stamp naming this paper, ". A.
MOVES, ll9 Po'ce'''s Block, Rochester, n. Y.
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26
Generalitles.

Fl Mahdi i marching toward Dongola with
$4,000 troops.
Heavy rains have inflicted great damage on
crops in California.
Nearly $4,000 women are engaged in glove
making in England alone.
The House has passed the River and lIarbor
bill, with the lIennepin Canal scheme left out.
There is a great depression in the English
shipping business and the coal and iron trade.
The King of Burmah has poisoned the queen
and her mother and married the queens sister.
The production of the precou. metals de-
creased S3,O00,000 in 1883, as compared with
ISL
EX-Mayor Frederick O. Prince has been
invited to deliver the Fourth Of July Grafton in
Boston.
Francis Scott Key, who wrote the Star
Npangled Banner" is 10 have a monument in
Patterson square, Baltimore.
Tilden G. Abbott, defaulting cashier of the
WMertown, Mass, bank has been senten-
ced to eight years i'll the Sta.e prison.
The funeral of General Babcock took place at
Washington. Secretary Lincoln and General
Sheridan were among the pallbearers.
The heavy rains of the past week in Califor-
ma nave dohe great deal OF damage III some
iocalltles 10 the nay wheat ana rye crops.
Eleven miners n. ,4,.,t. for newly discovered
qnId t;nIds ,yarn lro,yuea At Thomnsnn.s E.lI-
-h' L. W INC DREAMING oi leliH e''"'e'
The fan valuation of cbicnoo is. real and
nerson.l about s133 600 600. that of Cincinnntj
lar tI,a sa,n. l...,,. Iss.n wa. sfGo noo ono
II i holiovad Nv, soma ronoros.,,an that an
adiournmrnt lime 70 Is moi martirablr. and
A,'e,,.t HI !. s.il ,o hn nn.,ror tho ,I.,ta
Wilke.harrr pa, dnmaoed ahout twenty min
prs' hou,rs and .tamurded the settlement.
The President recently signed IA bill provid-
nnnre, he carrird thrnu@h tIr mnils for one
cent
The annual reunion of the Society of the
Army of the Potomac was held recently in
dent.
The Nevada Democratic State Convention in
its platform demands the nomination of Tilden
and Hendricks and the absolute exclusion of
The Republican journal., 1884-06-26

"Rough on Rats" clears out Rats, Mice. l5c
"Rough on Corns,' for Corns, Bunons. l5c.
Thin people. "Wells' Health Renewer'' restores
health ana vigor, cures dyspepsia, &c 81.
"ROugh ON Toothache, instant relief. l5c.
don't fail to Try Wells Health Remover"
"Buchu-paiba" great kidney and urinary cure.
Flies, reaches, ants hetl-bugs, rats, mice, cleared
ont by Trough on Rats" l5c.
Rough on Coughs troches, l5c., liquid, 25c
For children, slow in development, puny and
delicate, use wells Health Remover"
'Itough on Dentist" Tooth Powder. Try it. &c
Nervous Weakness Dyspepsia, Sexual Debility
cured by "Wells' Health Remover" 81.
Mother swans Worm syrup, for feverishness,
worms. constipation; tasteess, 25c.
Singing, irritation, all Kidney and Urinary com
plants cured by "Buchupaiba." 81.
Night sweats, fever chis, malaria, dyspepsia
cured by ''Wells' Health Remover"
My husband (writes LADY, is three times the
man since using ''Wells Heath Remover"
If You are failing. broken worn out and nervous
use "Welis' Health Remover" 81. lyeow22
Prevalence Of Kidney complaint in America .
"Buchu-paiba' is ID quick, complete cure. 81.
The immortal saying, "There'- always room at
the top was invented by a hotel clerk.