The Evening critic., 1884-09-23
Humors of the Battlefield.

Inc century.
Many humorous incidents occurred on bat
tle.fields. Confederate colonel ran ahead OF
his regiment at Malvern Hill, and discov-
ering that the men were not following him as
closely as he wished, no uttered fierce oath
and exclaimed:
"Come oni Do you want to live forever"
The appeal was irresistible, and many poor
fellow who had laughed at the coloneIs queer
exhortation laid down his life soon after.
A shell struck the wheel OF Federal neld-
piece toward the close OF the engagement at
Fair Oaks, and, shivering the epokes, dis
"WeIi, isn't it lucky that didn't happen be.
fore we used up all our ammunition" said
one OF the artlllerlstS as NO craWled from be-
When General Pope was falling back before
Lees advance in the Virginia Valley, his own
soldiers thought his bulletins and orders
somewhat strained in their rhetoric. At one
OF the numerous running engagements that
marked that disastrous campaign, private in
one OF the Western regiments was MORALLY
wounded by q shell. Seeing the mans condi-
tion, a chaplain knelt beside him, and, open
Ing his Bible at random, read out SIMPSONS
SLAUGHTER OF the Phillstlnes With the jawbone
of an ass. He had not quite finished, when,
as the story runs, the poor fellow interrupted
the reading by saying:
man. Isn't the name OF John Pope signed 10
thatY
column OF troops was pushing forward
fare Gap to head on Leo after his retreat
across the Potomac at the close OF the Gettys.
burg campaign. suddenly the signal Of1iCer
who accompanied the general In command
discovered that some or his men, posted on a
high hill In the rear, were reporting the pres
ence OF a considerable body OF Confederate
troops on top OF the bluffs to their right, A
halt was at once sounded, and the leading
brigade ordered forward 10 uncover the enc.
my's position. The regiments were soon
men CALAMITY racing TO seewho could reach
the crest first. young lieutenant and some
half dozen men gained the advance, but al
no nd nj Nyh lnpmel mariana ali limb
they were thrown into commissions OF laughter
at discovering that what the signal men took
for Confederate troops were only toleraoly
large flock OF sheep, AS the leaders In this
forlorn hope rolled on tho grass In a paroxysm
OF merriment they laughed all the louder at
seeing the pale but determined faces OF their
comrades, who, OF course, came up fully OK.
pectlng desperate hanG-to'hand struggle.
II is perhaps needless to say the brigade
scpped on mutton that evening.
As tho army was crossing south Mountain
tho day before the battle OF AntietRm, General
Mcclellan rode along the side OF the moving
column 0ysrSSiaS WIN t S zop 9 regi
swell, and how is the Ola Fifth this oven
ingsS" ..,. oo.ono,,. vanilla, 49,.
Zouayes. "But we'd be better on II we weren't
living so much on superstition"
"supposition J." said the General, 10 puz.
"Its easily explained, SIR You see we OK.
pected to get our ratlons yesterday, nut as We
didn't were living on the supposltion that
we dld.'
"Ab, understand; you shall have your ra.
tlons, Zouzoue, TO- night" replied tho General,
putting spurs to his horse 70 escape the cheers
OF his regiment. And he kept his promise.
"Ma, wha, are soldIers1" "rhey are men
with arms, dear" "And what Ia an encamp.
ment2" at is a place whore the soldiers go
TO practice using their arms, my child" "Oh,
yes. Now SEQ why they always have an on.
campment at place where there are plenty
ofpretty girls."-phlcd9o Ne'0s. -
For REHT-DrlJers darden--for mass.meet.
ings, theatrical peifdfmdnces, Sc, &c, nc.