davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1884-12-19

Of m NJ worls that grown folks ~.
In <4iIe<f arr t1E~rs -<Dme other Iay.~
80 easily. C4rfic<<Iy. often said.
Hut % childish czr< fbry arr words az drrni.
To hope : knfii. and - wish : DOOM.
a frost ON expectancy = frUIGrhI00m:
For even lhc baby Who <Carxe can crawl
Knows : prumi<t lke that - No promise a NJ.
And that out ~ ~i<hf aud ~ mind Away
~ that mc<kinx mirage ->o1nc other day.
The years MI b.. and wishes fade.
The youth IN the raw ~ ARE ~ Iai1.
And the child who hcnf his youthful viii
- ; child no more. but 4 waiting still
EOr t1e pleasure 1efFrrcI. the lrff our rnme.
ThouEh n come n l1<f. ~ never the same.
I1e bubble has died on the u4nfIIux Gun.
The duux1t n dull - ne drink n up:
And Old hopes iau<h y ~ - wc ~ay:
AT Int n has come. that .ofhcr d1y.s~
An, lffic hearts which heat and fret
Against fhc hounds ~ patience 81.
IourI II bat universal fate.
And the Old ~ the young ~. have 20 waIf.
You viii learn ukr IA % b. -fouf I'm pain.
And not 20 cry When your wishes prove vain.
And thc strength th.f Frows from : thwarted
And that service 4 done b standing SIN.
And % br1xtIy look up into Heaven. and say.
- shall and Il AL there. some other DAY.
->a<rn toc{tdy, n =. >. Itm>s-
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1884-12-19

A little boy was recently sent BY
express from Boston 70 Pittsburgh.
Little children. however. cant be too
careful how they express themselves.
The fly that in July stung you on
the end Of your nose seventy times IN :
minute at meal-time Is now anxious to
crawl under the blankets and call you
. man and 4 brother.
"A will Is registered in Waynesburg,
Pa. which contains the following
clause: ~ also give 70 my beloved
wife one red COW. one three-year old
colt. and the remainder Of the kitchen
and household furniture"
SIS salt necessary" queries a
agricultural writer. Well. il Is no use
10 ask the hired girl this question.
Sometimes she thinks Il IS and some
times she thinks il isn't. Anyway, she
always differs from the views Of those
who have to eat the victuals. -Rich-
land Courier Gazette.
-Doctor-ssWell. how are We to-
dayP" Patient-.0h, I've had . mis-
cradle day, doctor" Doctor-s.But
your wife says you haven't groaned at
all to-day. while Yesterday Patient
-''Good reason. Thought there wasn't
anybody round. That woman Is al
ways taking On unfair advantage Of
me. "-Bcston Transcript
"A member Of the rhetorical class IN
3 certain college had just finished his
defamation, when the professor said:
MI. -, do you suppose . General
would address his soldiers in tho manner
You spoke that piecc?" Yes, sir. I
DO" was the reply, IF he was half
scared to death and rs nervous as :
cat Washington Ratchet
what makes your horse 20 50
slow?" asked q tourist one day IN the
Glen Of the Downs, Ireland. Of his Celtic
Jehu. 1T IL out Of Inspect TO the
bayutiful sanery. yer honor; be wants
We to see IL al. And, thin. he's an in
telligcnt haste, and appreciates good
company. and wants 10 kape the like o.
ye in beloved Guild Ireland as long Is he
can,
The plumber alighted from his ar
riagc and followed his card into the
parlor. Whats wrong?" he asked.
1.-THE gas leaks replied the master Of
the house humbiy. The plumber turned
On HIS IEIls w ~ n4&0 W <EIU ~
the gas company about that be said;
~ don't know anything about gas. II
the pipes should spring . leak let ~
know. And he wa gone before the
master Of the house noticed his bill for
twenty-five dollars lying on the pimo.
Burlington HaUksye.
-Goldsmith's Vicar Of Wakefield"
sold for forty pounds, and the publisher
held the manuscript imprinted until the
author had become famous Is . poet.
Poets who have sent their illusions 70
this Office and failed 70 zee their efru-
sions IN print, viii now know what's
thc matter. We havc adopted the plan
d the publisher who purchased the
ssVicsr." save IN the trii|ing mn>oer. ~
paying n advance. We may have 80
hold their manuscripts two or thru
hundred years, but they should NOT ~
tnat discourage them.-NorrtstosN -
~.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1884-12-19
A GREAT FIND


The Result or Prof MacDou0are
Trim "a the Countrv
49,. sc;.,,;., pro< ~~a
-. u~,~. observation-disclosures .
o'.' "e
tnrougn 1iessen afterward- p con
Guided by . course q study in the
School II Mines In Paris. He Wa rec
ccnized abroad .rd y, hcr. y. -,
- ,rofc,,a- I..~,;,- ..9.. ..--,-
anu = 'ne es'y
800 unity ~ made Iroie~-or q Nat
urai Science a Barneville College He
came Of . race Of scientific notabIes.
His grandfather. ! Scotsman. had bern
Professor - cIasyox W. f.,he whc
..rn. y ~ s~..-~ - - ~,
49,. .ne is'iie'' anu
settled mere though ne never taught
Wa o distinguished. and Prof Rod
crick bade fair % snrpass his ~predecess-
ors N scientific renown-
But the close pursuit 81 knowledge
has IT, penalty The first Commence
ment-day found the Professor quite
broken up Nearly tx feet high. and
with muscles 70 IT. he had been the
crack oar~man 81 Tale. and ~ the head
49, - 60. -r----< ~ rHL
q me nrsf class o. the Turn Nerein at
1iessen- ne nan grown iean-
Meak ana n-tieSs: ifis colleagues
.,e~eu M state win alarm. One %
TEN. aI~o ? skiiiInl physician gave him
I prseLlIt'on MAC, ne said' You
nave WORSE wonders lot US during me
cou!>e' pu' ~ YOUR own expense. 20
n .ne cou1rry- 1et away from books
en.lsis- i.u nave ,nFee montns q
..can'n ~ nup ~ absence rom
- y - kna-' y y'a VIII % used
Up
I5eor ,nousnt On y
~ ~ usso.e ,ns s.sa''on " my
.Ies'Se on tne NJ HUE ne " but
f.nsps & - ~. JPN sLountsin
< - k1e 1ormauon-
~ " ssins y coa,se granite
49, n.y.. X I'sn y m'1staIS- y
n n.s.s eAP'oIru' 2 ~ make
1 kts., nna .nrne, anu set specimen
- ~ .na. . sna'' p PROUD ~ ~" ~
n .ne pr,iessor pousn. eoarSe srax
sls P'sNsu ~ saI~e' audeo = 'eatnern
s.5 , ~ os'.- s'.n namnsr cn'Ssl
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1884-12-19

- n" -W"T
tnr IIoIcsSor. blandly.
That what they call me. Il Il book
or I,gntnn rod"
Neither" replied the Professor.
.mihnS. "1Iy name = NacDougal. and
nave peen advised % Try the hill mir
ior = time: called % request You %
accommodate me with board for . few
week
MAY ! ask what you do for =
nsin
= Am = professor in barneville Col
ieee
You aim one q them snake-catch-
ers n o~ng-hunters:'
know something about reptiles
md Insects but ! expect 20 anus my
sell by collecting the minerals and
plants q the region
'>tuns, en- There ANT been . stun
nunter IN these parts not sense the time
o. me JolIyiogical Survey. an there's
right smart d queer stuns here yet.
Plants. en-, That would suit my Hetty,
4 she was g home. for shes got lots d
en- upstairs ~ books.-Lucy Ann
tall. neatly dressed old lady came
20 Inc door and aid: .-Wcll?'
Tan We make % for . stun
hunter'
Lucy Ann surveyed the Professor,
who smiled a the scrutiny. and then
saiu; there plenty q room; but 4
t.is gentleman be hunting minerals
mere y - = nice pair 20 clutter as up.
And with = laugh she retreated-
approved py Inc higher powers,
s.'u .ne squire. Laughing. no
.'1.Sns s,vu oser. ! see row.: Jonn
~ Sohn, orns IN me PROFESSOR
sr =. uo"n anu rest yourself
49, vi - ny uiihcuiy ABOUT TERMS
T4n
soon .ounu nat ~ ~
1870 = .rrn 'i6n- ns nau Come
1, = - P'ace- he Wa =
~ -. Pe.S1n. cna1nprr oPenihs
-t,ou . no~et Sa.e.n' ~ one ena ~
$3.50 "eIs SeseLa, niees ~ pefs. "nicn
n.ue 4 P'assn nunnInihS. WINE tne
sJsns. rom nsus ! .rasran' nsrns Smote
presently q me nostriis- from the
-e1" y ~ : nne WV 81 mist
"rr'.u 'iusss ~ ,ns Instance oser =
~:.f s.iss k sa'ey; uoI,ea
,--I @ t.'.n' Pa.cncs - "oou-
.-S ru~ ~ ou'-pliunss'
s.~ q N'ne sIaz'ns - tneIr pa
srsS 1891 .PPe< .me an ne
1919 LII ~ 'n1s1 n,an
49, - n,.ne'
49,, an1 .1,s.s y " ~ pump
49,. I "no LosSn. a tns uisnes anu
u y 49, 49, 'ne COS u
-. e..'is 1- .orut
- ~ p-e%.ole 49, seems 80 rs
4" ~ go n1s =
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19
Losses on Imported Fruit.

"Is there anything new in the fruit
trade to-day P" downtown fruit
dealer was asked.
mo, but there ought to be-"
"What should there be Pr
"a method of transportation that
will keep the fruit in q perfect con-
dition en- route. You have no idea OF
what per centage of the fruit sent to
this market is lost on the way. Last
year 2Sl, 100000 oranges were shipped
from Mediterranean ports to New York
and 1l2,000,00O of them persisted on
the way, or about 40 per cent OF
SIC, 000,OU0 lemons shipped more than
g., 000, 900 persisted, or 20 per cent
1.-The destruction is not so great on
the short trips from the West Indies, is
it ?r
Greater. Nearly 1900, 900 oranges
persisted out of $4,000, 900 shipped.
Elbow about other kinds of fruit P"
1.-THE loss is greatest on oranges.
More than 3,200,0 900 pineapples were
shipped here, and 100000 or 25 per
cent, were lost. There was a grand
total of 100000 punches of bananas
shipped, and 18l 900, orl6percent. per
ished. Cocoanuts are the best shippers,
only 100000 perishing out of IA, 20O,-
600 shipped. or 8 per cent. OF 100000
barrels of grapes, % per cent. persisted.
Among the fruits that are imported in
small quantities, were Ala barrels of
lines, with a loss of one fourth; there
were $4,000 mangoes shipped, but 55
per cent. were lost, while 10 per cent.
of the $4,000 plantains that were
shipped persisted before they got here.
s'On whom does the loss fall?'
ION the shipper, of course; but you
see if all this fruit could arrive in good
condition, the prices to the consumer
would be much less and the profits of
the dealer as great. IN. Y. Sun.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19

went by the old and usual route to the
gimlet, wondering as again l YEARLY
climbed the ladder if patience to work
oat ones salvation must, like eternity,
be infinite, and if ones charity must be
stretched to cover this total depravity
of inanimate hammers and gimlets.
/ nailed the boxes in position. All
now seemed to work smoothly. /
finished the work and went down the
ladder as supposed for the last time.
l surveyed those four boxes with pride
and admiration. Itook away the ladder
and lugged it afar to distant corner.
resuryeyed the boxes and discovered
that one of them was hanging by q
shred of bark shaking with the breeze.
as the nail had not penetrated to the
wood Of the tree, thus proving again
the total depravity of inanimate things.
would not succumb. All my pride
and stubbornness was now aroused.
l had ceased to regard the placing of
those boxes on the tree as OF the first
Importance. This with me ha1 been
superseded by the desire of winning in
this game or contest with my splendid
but stubborn oak. / re-erected the
ladder. refastened the box, and then
waited to see what new ugliness on the
oak part would come. But none
came. had conquered.
During the week several house-hunt-
ing birds have inspected these apart
ments. They seem difficultto suit, and
make no choice.
thought when commenced writing
this story there was a moral concealed
in it somewhere or hanging to its skirts.
Now that have finished it l can't find
any. / deem it more kind and con-
siderate to leave the reader to find his
or her own moral and apply it where it
is needed. have in the past too much
erred in going round slapping moral
mustard plasters on peoples skins re-
CARELESS whether they wanted them or
not. Prentice MuIord, in NJ Z.
| Graphic,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19
POLITICAL POINTS.

The Philadelphia Inquirer hes
discovered that Arthur's candidacy is
purely the. work of the machine.
The Pittsburgh Post notes that
while the sentiment is for Blaine the
practical politicians are against him.
The Buffalo Commercial Adver-
tiser, proceeds with the work Of harmo-
MIXING the party by remarking that "of
all shame-faccd, inscriptions, persist
ent ringsters, Collector Robertson is the
worst"
If the nomination of Blaine is one
of the political probabilities the New
York EueninQ Post is pursuing a course
poorly calculated to aid the success of
its party. by republishing the old charges
against the Maine statesman as q mem
Der of Congress and as Speaker of the
House, among which the Mulligan tran
saction is not the least conspicuous.
Harrisburg Patriot.
The New jersey Republicans re-
fused to send Secor Robson as dele
gate to Chicago. but send a black man
instead. The New York Sun surmises
very properly that ''he is the whittier
man Of the two," but thinks that the
action of the Republicans would make
Robeson's 'scheeks tingle If he were
capable of shame" R0beson is one
chronic blush rs it is. We don't see
how he could present any stronger
chromatic evidence Of being constantly
ashamed Of himself than be does now.
--Boston Pps,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19
The Business Of Bill Posting.

An English stage manager. in
pamphlet on advertising, written about
1850, asserted that the business of
poster advertising. even then supposed
to have outgrown all reasonable pro-
portions, was yet but nits infancy; that
the time would come when every inch
of blank surface in this mundane sphere
would be devoted to the purpose of
advertising. Curiously enough, about
the time this prophecy was made a
scheme was inaugurated by q single
individual on this side of the water
which was destined to go a long way
toward its fulfllment. In the winter
of 1849,50 a young sign painter of
Brooklyn, finding his business very
dull, amused himself by going along
the Harlem Road and painting his
name. occupation and business on all
the rocks and fences. Several business
men were struck with the idea and en-
ployed the young man to blazon adver-
tisements for them in various localities.
Soon after. securing large number of
contracts for the work, he travelled with.
his brush and paint up the Missouri
River, exercising his peculiar talents on
the bare crags Of the Rocky Mountains.
He journeyed into Oregon and daubed
her pyramids, down the golden valleys
of the Sac, over the granite cliffs of the
Humboldt range he went, leaving be-
hind him staring legends of oliver pills."
'.ague pads" etc., to terrify the wan
dering savage and buffalo. We are
happy to say he was shot at several
times and had to run to save his
wretched hide. He was pursued soon
after by rival as fearless aud unscru-
pulous rs himself. Finally, the two
went into partnership and between them
transformed the country into vast bill
board. They established their head
quarters in New York and undertook,
at specified rates, to advertise mer-
chants, medicines. etc.. in as few or
many States as desired. In 1880 the
manager of this business-the quondam
Brooklyn sign-painter, now a million
aire declared that he and his partner
had travelled 100000 miles, had
painted 10000 signs, and used 500
barrels of linseed oil and $50 tons of
white lead. This was before they two
retired from active participation in the
manual part of the business. They now
have this work done by their 1900
agents, through whom they can work
the whole United States on the bill
board plan. They charge for billing a
patent medicine in seventeen States
$50, 000.-C Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19
SCHOOL. AND CHURCH.

~"
"A Scotch schoolnaster chastises his
pupils BY pouring castor oil down the'r
Threats.
Some lady in the East, who does,
not wish her name disclosed, has given
Mills Seminary, San Francisco, $5,0O0
for library building.
AT the meeting of the Board OF
Missions of the American Bible Society:
at New York. recently, an appropri-
alton Of $lO9, GAO was made for foreign
work.
Tho Nashville Adroca'c says: 'sH
you would make real Improvement in
your Christian life you will do well to
begin BY improvement in the manner
of spending your Sabbaths.
Within four years the Methodist
Episcopal Church has expended
So, 455, 900 for religious publications,
and the Methodist Book Concern has
supplied 50, 500, 900 worth Of literature.
Says the New Orleans Christian
Adsoc0te: 'sTherc are fourteen county
towns court house seats-in Kentucky
in which there is not and never was 9
church building of any denomination.
lin St. Petersburg, with its million
of inhabitants, there are but three
newspapers published in the Russian
language, save the official Messenger
and the journal de So. PETERSBURG.
There are two German papers.
The venerable Ex-Governor Dow
ney, Of California, has given $500 to
furnish new school-house in the town
of Downey, that State, and at his suY-
gestion an inscription will be placed on
its portals reading: ''Order is Heavens
first law. Be good children, and true
to your country"
"A minister suddenly stopped in his
sermon and sang hymn. III the
members of the choir are to do the talk
ing" he explained, ''they certainly will
permit me to do the singing" And
then things in the neighborhood of the
organ became more quiet. Chicago
Herald.
Several French women and one
young American girl. Miss Laura
White. are studying architecture in the
special school at Paris with view to
making it their life work. The Csto-
yenne says that already several women
have distinguished themselves as
builders and house decorators. The
exquisite carpenters and cabinet
makers work in the Mayors house at
Passy has been executed by lady.
AT q recent meeting of the Congre.
gational Club of New York, the topic
Of discussion was "The Pulpit as seen
from the Pews." The first speaker,
Mr.. Austin Abbott, said among other
things that the first point the preacher
has to regard is that the habits of BUSH
ness men of recent years have changed.
Time was, when man was willing to
have a business transaction proposed
one day, consider it during the next.
and give his answer on the third. To-
day he wants immediate decision.
Everything is to the point. He wants
exactly that element in the sermon.
The sermon may be long, provided it
go by logical steps from point to point,
and never retrace its steps; but if it go
around and around in an endless circle,
he doesn't wish to hear it.-M r.
Examiner.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

When once the young heart of q
maiden is stolen, the maiden herself
will steal after it soon. Moore.
We are surprised to learn that
Daniel Montague has the oldest piano.
in the United States. We have always
supposed the family next door owned
tn Y. Graphic.
-"What shall write about?" asked
. young reporter of the managing ed
itOr. 20, write about the first thing
that comes to hand" was the brief or
der. The scribe drew his pay that night
for an article on s'door-knobs."
AT Columbia (Ky. hanging there
were thousand women present. There
Is nothing envious about woman ex-
cepting where her own sex is con-
cerned. She always likes to see man
get up in the world. Troy Times.
"A French composer, learning that
the original of Byron's '.Maid of Ath-
ens' was living in poverty, composed
. song and sent her the proceeds of its
sale. This is truly kind and thought
full. Most composers would have sent
her the song, too. IN Y. Graphic.
-s.Ah, owe you q thousand dol
lars" said . chronic borrower, acct
dentally meeting his creditor. 20,
don't mention it, |" answered the cred
itor. politely, but in . mournful tone.
1--WE won't, we won't" replied the
debtor, pressing the mans hand. - Chi
cdgo Tribune.
Never say to an Objectionable ac-
Quaintance: s'Come in and see me
some time" Some time means any
time, and be may come when you least
expect him. 1t Is better to name some
specific time; then you can take the
precaution to be out when he calls.--
Boston Transcript.
"Experience may be . dear teach
or, remarked q minister as the con-
tributiOn box was returned to him empty,
'sbut the members of this particular
flock who have experienced religion
have accomplished it at very trining
cost. The choir will please sing the
seventy ninth hymn, emitting the first,
third and fourth verses, in order to
save unnecessary wear on the organ.
-Indi0ndpolis journal.
IA few days ago lady entered .
etOre anu asker 10 DC SHOWN SOno uIcSS
| goods. She was shown piece at 81. 70
: yard, but this not being good enough
another at $3.50 was handed down, but
she still objected. The clerk then took
down the first piece shown her, telling
her it was the best in the store at SLID.
per yard. She took ten yards at that
price aud left perfectly satisfied that
she had received the best. Chicago
| Times.
| There is neat story told Of lady
whose husband had very small foot.
Of which he was extremely proud She
flattered him and encouraged his vanity.
80 that every time he bought tighter
and tighter shoes. 1t was excruciating
| pain to go about in them, but he would
not confess it However, when he
reached home in the evening his slip
pers were such welcome relief that 1t
was difficult matter to induce him to
70 ont after dinner. From = great CLUB
man be became noted for his domestic
habits. Madame smiled to herself, but
| nd nothing. tVqrsss
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19

"A quantity of ore from the Ellen
vile IN. " gold mine sent to a New
York assayer the other day assayed at
the rate Of 1858 q ton. The mine is
said to be rich !n both gold and silver,
IN 2. Sun,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-19

1t is little remarkable that of all the
Republicans who are or have been
prominent in the party ex-President
Hayes receives the most abuse and rid
icule from his party associates The
contempt for him. He is depicted in
all sorts of absurd lights. Anecdotes
are invented for the express purpose OF
making him appear ridiculous. He is
accused of wearing his beard to save
the cost of soap and razors, and he Is
never heard of at an agricultural fair
without being twittcd with a low taste
for turnips and pumpkins. 1t has even
been said of him within the past four
days by Republican journals that the
sale of Blaine's book is injured because
it contains q portrait of Hayes.
This is not remarkable because Hayes
is great man or because he is especial-
" entitled to immunity from ridfcule.
He is not q great man, and there is =
great deal in his history that invites
satire and ridicule. But it is remark
able that he should be singled out by
his fellow-partisans for such treatment
when he is, with single exception. the
only Republican of any prominence in
connection with the Presidency, whose
reputation for integrity has never
been assailed. 1t is true that he was
found some years ago with q stolen
Presidency on his person; but his worst
enemies in the Democratic party never
regarded him as the real thief. Leav-
ing that affair out of consideration, his
name has never been connected with
anything in the way OF jobbery or cor
ruption while in public life. Is there
another Republican ex-President or
prominent Presidential candidate. with
the single exception of Edmunds, Of
whom the same can be saidP Not one.
Yet there are Republican organs who
exalt and praise all the other candi-
dates, including Mulligan Blaine, while
there is not one with . good word. Of
with anything but ridicule. for Hayes.
If Hayes were simply dropped II
would be easy to understand the course
of the organs. He was never credit
to that party, and it has no further use
for him. But why should such pains be
taken to show that the party has abund
ant admiration for theatric rascality
and nothing but contempt for decent
cleanliness of character, If it happens
to be accompanied by mandy pamby.
ism?-Detr0iE Free Press.