Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1884-03-13

A 50 thern Dakota editor adyertises
his Bible for sale. He has probably
gone over to the other party. OK
Tribune.
An exchange says that mush has be-
come popular dish In society. Nothing
seems TO take in society like something
soft.-Oa City BhSsard.
The Atlanta Constitution, good paper,
deuoupces sn elopement as "a diabolicsl
crime" They must be hard up for
crimes down that way.-Loneu Citizen.
Mr.. Peel, the prospective speaker Of
the English house OF commons, Is de-
soribed by an opposition journal as .
"slippery customer" He ought to be
called"orapge Peel."-NeO York Graphic.
The other day, while Vermont oman
was trying doughnuts, one of them ex-
ploded. Her husband merely observed
that he was glad, on the whole, it hap
pened before he had eaten the thing
Boston Post.
Is there never TO be rest from having
20 watch your umbrella 10 see that 1t
isn't stolen This long spell Of weather
has been fearful strain on a mans
mind, keeping him ON the alert for so
opg.-HarDord Post,
An English paper says Mr.. Gladstone is
such an ,Spert woodsmsn that he can fell
a tree with his eyes shut. Hah George
Washington cut down an apple tree with
his hat shut. Vive la republique =
Burlington Hawkeys.
Mrs. Cook, wife Of the Rev. Joseph, Is
preparing for the lecture platform. Are
there no babies in the family i-ih,iddet-
phid CAL What sort OF baby talk do
You suppose would prevail in that
Family i-HerUord Post.
The "swtet Singer Of NJ ohisau" has
made "OscAr Wilde" rhyme with Z" ios-
able than her att mpt to rhyme tom
ssnguiuity" with flaws a. massey" but
DOT much, -BiSaarck Tribune.
Lord Randolph Churchill is the
ead-hy that invariably lights on the sore
withe.s OF the Gladstone ministry when
il ia in trouble, and buzzes and stiDss In
dustriously. Mr.. Churchill seems to be
cross between jockey club dude and
Psck's "bad boy ."--NeD l.rk Mad and
ErDyess.
| II body of matter weighing 256
| pounds on the earth's surfaos were re-
moved $40 600 miles, or the distance of
the moon, from the earth, 1t would weigh
there one ounce hence If London Timer
editorial on the Egyptian crisis were to
he conveyed to the moon, Its weight there
would bs not more than six ounces.--
| Pack.
II is sometimes misfortune TO be deaf.
AT a revival meeting not far out of this
city, q few nights ago, German arose to
express his opinion, and said " Der pes
good many on DIS road to hale" A
worthy dsscon, who was hard of hearing,
sud regulated bis responses by the in
Election OF the speaksr'sv ices, exclaimed
:" The Lord bs praised !"-Bradtoid Sun
day Nail
"Ycur honor, the oiors complained Of
cannot exist" "But here are 20 com.
p'aints" "Yes but have worked in
my factory for the last Is years, and I'll
take my oath caupot detect any smels."
"As rule, prisoner" replied the judge,
as be Rharpeued his spectacles on his
side OF soap factories, You are fined $25
and costs - Detroit Free Press
80, you dear, good mother !" chirpsd
Birdie McHenuepin, "do you really mean
to say thst can marry Gus De Smith f''
II de- replied Mrs. McHeunCpin. "Yon
have my full oonseUt." "But, mamma,
you said Gully yesterday that you Conduit
bear him, puEsued tbs daughter. "Well,
havs got s0methiug like sp 81 ton
grudss szsinst him, and for that very
reason have couclu1ed to bsoomo his
mother iu-lsw.