Omaha daily bee., 1884-10-15
HUMoR ON THE BArrhE-FIELD
Some Queer Incidents that Happened
in the Jaws of Death.

in the Jaws of Death.
From the Century.
Many humorous incidents occurred oil
battlefields, A confederate colonel raj
ahead of his regiment at Malvern Hill
and, discovering that the men were no
following him as closely as he wished, h,
uttered a fierce oath. and exclaimed:
"Come on! DO you want to live for
ever2"
The appeal was irresistible, and many
a poor fellow who had laughed at the
colonel's queer exhortation laid dowr
his life soon after.
A she'll struck the wheel of a Federal
fieldpiece toward the close of the engage
ment at Fair Oaks, and, shivering the
spokes, dismsntled the
"Well, isn't it lucky that it didn't hap
pen before we used up all our ammuni-
toni" remarked one of the artillerists
as he crawled from beneath the CUR.
When Gen. Pope was falling back be-
fore Lees advance in the Virginia valley,
his own soldiers thought his bulletins and
orders somewhat strained in their rhetor-
ic. At one of the numerous running en-
gagements that marked that disastrous
campaign, a private in one of the western
regiments was MORALLY wounded by a
shell. Seeing the mans condition, a
chaplain knelt beside him, and opening
his Bible at random read out Samson's
slaughter of the Philistines with the jaw
bone of an ass. He had not quite fin
ished when, as the story runs, the poor
fellow interrupted the reading by say
ing
"Hold on, chaplain. Don't deceive a
dying man. Isn't the name of John Pope
to thatl'
A column of troops was pushing for
ward over the long and winding road in
Thoroughfare Gap to head off Lee after
retreat across the Potomac after the
close of the Gettysburg campaign.
Suddenly the signal officer who accom-
the general in command discov-
cred that some of his men, posted on a
high hill in the rear, were reporting the
presence of a considerable body of con
federate troops on top Of the bluffs to
the right. A halt vas at once sounded
and the leading brigade ordered forward
to uncover the enemy's position.
The regiments were soon scrambling
up the steep incline, officers and
men calamity racing to see who could
reach the crest first. A young lieutenant
and some half dozen men gained the adj
vance, but at the end of what they deem
ed a perilous climb they were thrown into
commissions of laughter at discovering
what the signal men took for confederate
troops was only a tolerably large flock of
AS the leaders in this ~forlorn
hope rolled on the grass in a paroxysm of
merriment, they laughed all the louder at
the pale but determined faces of
their comrades, who, of course, came up
fulIy expecting a desperate hand-to-h hand
1t is perhaps needless to say the bril-
gade supped on mutton that evening.
AS the army was crossing South Noun.
tain the day before the battle of Antietam
General Mcclellan rode along the side of
the moving column. Overtaking a fav-
orite zouave regiment, he exclaimed
with his natural bonhomie:
well, and how is the old 9th fhis
EVENING""
"First.rate, General" replied one of
the zouaves. "But we'd be better off if
we weren't living 80 much on supposi-
"Supposition2" said the General, in a
puzzled tone. What do you mean by
cts easily explained, sir. You see,
expected to get our rations yesterday,
but as we didn t, we're living ON the sup
position hat we did,"
"Ah, | understand; you shall have
your r%ations, zous.zous, to night" re-
piled the General, putting spurs to his
horse to escape the cheers of his regi-
ment. And he kept his promise.