The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-08

LhoAha UhaGhaHhaAmBh mBhaLbaE.

lisa long lynn some composing
stick wont hold-Ex
The Noss0 girls donot swear They
only say "buy gum. Ey.
Circuit coWt-sncaking around the
house to avoid the dogs,-N. y. Joum-
al
The reason for badness is that peo-
Pile desire to be clear headed.-Ex-
change.
The unit rule prevails in the rcstau-
rant oyster stew. now. Only one oys-
ter-EN.
There is running horse called
Spiral Wonder if he belongs to the
shirt stud?-Ey
Shop girls do not boliye in engage
monts Of long standing-Philadelphia
News
Bclva Lockwood says she "hasn't
been Kissed for twenty years It
certainly speaks well for the men,
FIX.
/ There is something funny in an
clopement that happens in the family
Of some one else.-New Orleans Plea
yune
1t is no use for bald Irishman to
put pomade ON his head and sing:
Hair oil rails my Ebcnezar. Paris
Beacon.
The Marseillcs ladies wear nous
taches over their mouths as cholera
preventive. American girls because
they like to.-EX.
A physician says: "Ifa II child does
not thrive on freshmilk, boil it, He
doesn't state how long thcchild should
be boiled We should think there
would be danger OF boiling it too long.
-EX.
Women are now being adopted as
cashiers Of banks, and the adoption is
wise. The average woman could not
pack her trunk and get her clothes
ready in time to skip out for Canada
with the banks funds before some
body would tumble to her racket.-Ex.
In the gloamng oh, my darling,
In the twilight faint and dim,
VIII you watch for me, my darling,
When me moon has doused her glm?
, You will see me then, my darling,
Though the night be damp and dark,
In big torchlght procession,
: Howling like the boojum shark.
: y. Y. Morning Journal.
A woman has been arrested in New
Yo.k for cruelty whipping her Oldest
son, She told the magistrate that she
didn't know it was violation Of the
, law for a waman to bang her heir
:, Then he doubled the amount Of her
: bail.-EX.
y "What branches do you find most
useful to your pupils?" asked visitor
Of a professor at the University Of Tex
as.
Il Any branch is good but find that
[. the branches from beach tree are
= the most useful OF all'-Texas Sift-
ings.
Great Lawyer-"Ah, Mr. Winks,
IS glad to see you. The verdict is in.
"Client-"Alrcady?"
"Yes, sir; knew | would get it.
You receive $4,000, but You are to pay
half'the costs"
t "Fair enough, am sure. What are
the costs?"
n $4,000"
: II cam lick the snoozer that broke
- that Wheelbarrow, remarked Mildred i
little brother, whereupon the high
school girl reprovingly remarked
"You should endeav0r to select from
your vocabulary more genteol terms
/, 1t would be vastly better to remark
that in a pugilistic encounter with the
uncouth individual who impaired The
- usefulness OF the unicycle, you coulc
:, lamm the stufl'ing out Of him Great
=, applause III the pit; whistling in til,
~ gallcry.--Oil City Blizzard.
ap "Do you see that house, remarked
Mt Il gentlemen to companion, pointing
N to Il neat sesidcnce "That Is an olu
Id mtnt to sobrety. 4 few years agc
IN the man who built it was Il drunkard
ot lie stopped drinking and that houst
i'd is the result 1t is indeed Il monp
l.) ment to Sobriety.' "Do you see tha'
palace" replied thecompanion, point
ing to magnificent structure, liftm,
its gables above the tops OF statel,
a. trees. That is a monument to drunk
IN enness. A few years ago the man
- who built that house was bartender
100 Now he owns a great distilery. 1t i.
,d- indeed monument to drunkenness.
Elk.
Mt Bosom maid--"No MY patterns
progenitor is not in
eh Caller--'I am one of of the deposit
IRE orS in his bank, which has suspcndet