Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-07-09
WANTED A WIFE.
~. Randall in Time. |

Jack Horribly, Of brazenface college, Ok
ford, had just finished his us0Sf after break
fast ptpe, on the last 6y a d 1ammer term.
1880, when his attention was arrested by a
sharp rap at his door, Immediately followed
by the entrance Of the well-dressed person Of
his college friend, Methven
~Corpe dong in" said Hornby, "and light
yourself a pipe
mo, thank We, can't stop" replied Meth
ven, "as have lot to do this morning; but
thought would run across and tell you bit
Of news, have just arranged a glorious
hoax, at the expense need hardly say, Of old
Crofton: he has become too cute lately to be
caught by our old time-honored jokes, and 50
have arranged the following plan: A week
ago J inserted in the agony column Of The
Morning Advertiser a glowing matrimonial
advertisement, in which stated that the ad-
vertiser, who was handsome, rich, and all
that sort Of thing, desired to meet with a
pretty and accomplished girl with view to
matrimony All applicants were to send
their photographs; the replies to be sent to H.
C., No. Isl ST. Giles, Oxford-that's the house
where my scout lives, and SO. OF course, told
him 70 iEng me any letters thus addressed. l
got no reply for a day Or co. bot four'hays
ago lre0eived a lettersfSom-a csrtain .damsel,
who described herself as young, handsome
and accom- lished, inclosed me the photo
graph OF very pretty girl, ended by asking
me when and where / should meet her in
town, and signed herself Miss L. Bernard,
Piccadify Circus Postofiice; she also expressed
a desire to have the ADVERTISERS photograph,
SO promptly sent her that of old Crofton,
which he had lately given me, and said
would write tonight when and where l
should meet her; SO my scheme is, to some
how Induce Crofton to meet this girl; she will
of course recognize him by the photograph
have sent, and will probably rush into his
arms, the kangaroo will lie utterly over
powered, and there will be an interesting
denouement. Now, Hornby, don't you think
that magnificent piece Of strategys"
No, indeed l don't" said Horribly ~ think
it an internal shame; and, what's more, |
have half a mind to go and tell the kangaroo
If the hoax
"Oh. come now, said Methven, you'd never
do that, Jack, know. Welt can't stay
any longer, 30 good bye for the present"
There is not the slightest doubt, that if the
iates had not interviewed. Hornby would have
gone straight to Crofton and warned him of
the impending hoax, and this story would
never have been written; but, as it happened,
40 sooner had Methven gone out OF Hornby's
rooms, than in rushed the secretary Of the
College Cricket club in state Of breathless
anxiety; there was a match at IL 80, and 1t
was now II O'Clock and he could only get to-
gether eight men. So Hornby was promptly
enlisted and 10y the time the match was over,
Methven and his scheme had entirely faded
from his not too retentive memory Methven,
in the meantime had gone straight TO Croft
tons rooms. Now, this Crofton, who was
about to fall q victim TO Hsthven's wiles,
was the son Of large Australian sheep
farmer, and had come up to Brazenface the
previous October Like most coionists who
have not been to schoo! in England, he was
very simple and unsophisticated; and though
the kangaroo, as he was generally called,
was constantly being made the victim
of small practical jokes, most OF which
were originated by Methven, who was the
professional hoaxer Of Brazenface, he al
ways forgave them heartily, and Joined in
the laugh himself. However, his one years
in college had opened his eyes lit.
tie, and being naturally anything but fool,
his friends found It notquite SO easy to take
him in now, AZ It used to be- and several at
tempts having lately faile !, Methven, to sus-
tain his dwindiing reputation as a joker, had
the plan he had Just disclosed TO
Horribly. He found the genial giant busily
packing his traps ready for going down the
next day. After chat ing moment or two
the tempter began:
AS you're going to town tomorrow, |
want you to do me, a little favor. Ipromsed
to meet girl, cousin Of mine, tomorrow
No had each nrIar for 10
house of commons, and I was to have es-
corted her, and as we mt ant to have a little
lunch together at Lucas before we went in,
We hal arranged to meet at quarter-past 2 |
1t the Westminster bridge landing pier, that |
icing place where we couldn't possibly miss |
one another. Now, as bad luck will have it, |
he dean has sent for me TO see him after col |
ections 30 that can't get up to town in |
line. Unfortunately, l can't let the girl |
snow. because she's away on & visit for day |!
Dr two to some friends whose address have |
'orgotten, and she won't return home till |
after she's been to the house. Now, don't
want the poor child to wait an hour for me,
70 would you mind going there about quar-
er past and telling her l can't come, be-
ause Of that beastly dcani And so that You
ant mistake her. I've brought you her pho
oglaph. By the by, her names Miss
Bernard Now, will this be too much trouble
or youi"
"Oh, not Bit" said Crofton, IL shall be
delighted"
"Well. remember. Westminster landing
,icr, at quarter past 2! And now, goodbye,
md pleasant long to you"
Methven, highly elated with the result 81
MS scheme, Immediately wrote note to
Hiss l.. Bernard that II. c. would meet her
It the Westminster bridge pier, at a quar-
er past punctually, and that she must
ONE up and speak to him if she saw him
lrst
The next morning Crofton, having under
,one that dread ordeal called COLLECTIONS"
having been bullied alternately by the
Principal, the dean and the senior tutor,
iurried oil to the station and just managed
o catch the midday express up TO town.
On his arrival leaving his traps at hotel,
le rushed of to Westminster bridge landing
her and arrived there within : minute
Il two Of the sppointsd time There was
nut few people on it when he arrived, and
ertainly no one resembling in the slightest
Iegree the photograph OF Mr.. Methvens
cousin. He looked up and down, but no
hSit was ohiy cbc yVuhD Anby tueiV, hisd |
be want in the least like the photograph
The was standing close to the ticket office,
olding the hand Of little boy Of 10 or So
nd she seemed TO watch Crofton with an
unused smile as he impatiently walked UP
md down, looking now at his watch and now
t the parliament clock tower. The little
10Y, in the meantime, getting tired Of wait
ng, had slipped away under the protecting
hans round the side and began playing with
little dog that was vaguely running about
he young lady did mot miss him, apd when
,rofton happened 10 turn he ssw the child.
n trying to avoid q sudden bound OF the
og, scramble and fall over the pier into the
iver The child yelled, the girl shrieked and
he dog barked for sympathy. but Crofton.
Who fortunately had plenty Of presence of
mind, and was good. strong swimmer, Owed
uietly into the water. caught up the child in
couple of strokes, and in very short time
lad restored his dripping burden to the young
Ady. She was OF course most grateful TO
lin for having saved the life Of her little
,rvther for SO the child turned out to be-
md, as Crofton put them in q cab, she askeJ
i'm to cali on them at home and give her pa
,nts an opportunity Of personally thanking
ian. Crofton at first pooh poohed the idea
be<.s thus made n hero OF, but there was
pleading look in her pretty eyes which
ute overcame his scruples; and having as
ertained that her father Was a Nj. West,
nd lived at lS6 Cavendish square, he prom
al TO call there the following afternoon.
md, as there was still no sigu Of Miss Ber-
arb, and as he was dripping wet, he hailed
passing cab and returned to his hotel
The next day, according 10 his promise he
sllei at lS6 Cavendish square, and was re-
sived most kindly by Miss West, his &C.
uaintance of yesterday, and her mother, an
lady, who thanked him most volubly