South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-05-30
WIT AND IIUNIOR.

DIR. Spurgeon in addressing the theo-
logical students about to leave tor the
summer recess, cautioned them again ct
falling in love with young women Will q
they we're still in course Of preparation
Tor the ministry. He said: That is not
good Cor students. Keep yourselves to
yourselves. Come back. as some one
puts it, with your hearts and manners
uncracked. Walk in the fieids like. 1.
sasc, by all means, and mediate; but
don't lift up your eyes for Rebecca. She
viii come soon enough"
Iowa women are good at repartee %
everybody knows, bu. it seems to me 1
never heard anything, anywhere, to ex.
coed this: A certain lady in an interior
town followed q drinker in whom she
was deeply interested into a saloon
just a. he was about to take the glass,
she tapped him gently on the shoulder
and requested him to go with her. Ee
complied. and as the two marched TO.
ward the door the saloon.kecper recov-
cred sufficiently from his amazement to
calculate: That boats the devilr Tho
lady turned and emphatically retorted :
Yes, cir. Il was my Intention to 'bea t
the devil !''-ON Duty.
Chief-Justics Waite, OF tho Supreme
Court, had funny experience recently,
and, as he has related it to any number
OF friends. the story has had wide cir.
culatfon in society. Several weeks ago
lie had an imperative engagement in
Baltimore. Like all great men he is
proverbially absent-minded. He went
up to the court, and, after a few mo.
ments' session, adjourned the court, and
came down leisurcly to the Baltimore &
Ohio depot, which is only a short dis
tance from the Capitol. AS no got out
OF the street car he found he had ton
minutes in which to purchase a ticket,
and get seat on the train. AS he went
up to the ticket-ofIlce he discovered, 10
his surprise. that he had only few pen.
MES in his pocket. He had neglected
to provide himself with scrip" for his
journey. He looked around the wait,
ing-room, but saw no one he knew. =
What was to be done must be done
quickly; his engagement was an impor.
tant one. So he filei up in the liue to
the ticket-Offlce, and when he reached
the window the Chief Justice smiled an
awsu! smile across the full width of his
ample mouth, and asked the tickle, gent
il he knew him. tt--r
NO, DON'T snarlsd the agent, and
what is moro don't want to. What
90 you want p
Il want a ticket to Baltimore and re.
turn. am the Chief.Justioe of the Su-
preme Court, and have no money with
me. Its purely accidental. can give
you my personal check
OBJ, 1 know YOU. l know all the
bloods, but the dodge don't work on me.
l have just had two members of the Cab.
met try to blk me out Of tickets, ard
no Chief"Justico dodge gets me. Take
your ugly mug out of the window, and
get out of the way of people who have
money
The Cbief.Justice gIared He could
not line tue young man for contempt of
court. He felt cheaper and worse than
If he had been real fraud. He blush.
CT and persprea so that the agent had
his firm belief strengthened The Chief
Justice dashed cut of the station TO see
il he could find Some one to identify
him. He had only Fl ye minutes left. 1t
was too short time to run TO the Capi.
toi. lie saw no enc. Across the street
there was saloon and eating house.
The Chief Justice made a rush across
the road, bat he stopped az tho door.
What II he should be seen going into
common gin mill What would PEG lie
say aud it was o bare chance III any one
IN thoro should know him Spying q
private entrance, he rushed in. and &C
oosted the proprietor with the inquiry
DO you know me 2
'Yie, bet yer head, l do, yer honor,
said the short-haired, frcckle faced man
behind the bar. 'Ye arc the boss av the
Shuprase Court. / sees yo iviry day
goin' by here on the cars.
viii you cash my check p have
no time TO explain
Hera The justice grabbed piece Of
paper upon desk near by, and began
10 write hurrie,lly
'Shure ] will. I've seen ould byes Off
on tsar before got out Of money, thruet
me, sorr. IL it a twenty ys want {?
Here il is. Will ye have a drop before
yc ran ?
But, before any further explanation