The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1884-12-11
AN lNoulslTvE POSTMASTER.
Postoffice-His Experience as Spring
Poet Bouncer Comes in Good Play.

Postoffice-His Experience Spring
Poet Bouncer Comes in Good Play.
A reporter was in very small town
in Illinois one day this week. We were
expecting a check from the editor, and
consequently our footsteps were directed
towards the postoffice. Arriving at the
Office, which is in little one-storY
frame building, we inquired, '.Is there
any mail for meP" forgetting to give
our name. The postmaster eyed us for
d second, then turned and glanced over
a big package of letters; he found none,
and then scrutinized another bundle.
| Again falling to find the expected letter,
he turned towards the reporter and sur
veyed him from head to foot
''Say, what's yer name?' he then in
quired.
We told him and again he turned and
carefully Inspected the very same letters
that he had only moment before ex-
amined. Then he turned and queried:
| where's the letter to come from?h
Evansville, - we answered.
''Oh-o, sol Guess I'll find it, then.
The same performance was again in
dulged in, but without effect. He lazily
laid the letters aside and asked us if we
were any relation to the so and SOS,
that used to live in Rattan County,
Kansas. We answered him in the neg
| ative.
''Visiting here, s'posep"
Eyes; is there any mail for meg"
'.What did yer say yer name WASP"
We told him again, and he remarked
that if the letter was there it came in
on the morning train.
30, yes, that's so. I'll look over this
bundle," and he extracted another from
a pigeon hole. Evansville Evansville
let's see, that village is in Ohio, amt
it?''
mo, sir. It's in Indiana"
'tSmall place, | guess, near Ft.
WayneP'
''No, sir. Southern part
''Near Posey County? How's politics
there?'
Hang politicsl Is there letter for
meP'
20, letter. I'll see" and he finished
rummaging over the package, and
4 found one that he eyed for half a. min
/ ute nearly. just then voice in the
rear of the Office yelled;
Chicken fight. Bet dollar on
| Jones' cockln
With the letter in hand the postmas-
ter made his exit through the back
door. We sat down and waited ten
minutes, then called in a passing boy
and gave him dime to go round the
back way and call the government
official.
s'Want to see mePn he innocently IN
quired, coming to the window.
'sFor heavens sake, man, are you
crazyP / have been here an hour
'.Want mailP What's yer name?"
"Come outside, you DANCED stinker,
and I'll show YOU
20, you're the fellow that was stand
ing here awhile ago?'
''Are you going to give me my mailP''
'sHere is a letter.
But before he gave it to us young
lady came in and the postmaster turned
his attention to her. They chatted
away for five or ten minutes, but oul
patience was gone.
"Will you excuse me, mann? This in.
fernal galoot has been two hours hand
ing me that letter that he is holding IL
his hand!'
S.Letter? o, yes! Here it is"
We grasped it eagerly and-heayens
it was for Smith.
t'Say, this letter isn't for metz
The girl Uttered.
'1sn't your name Smith,"
This was too much. We remembered
the many days we had acted as spring
poet bouncer at the argus Office anC
jumped over the partition. The maider
fled, and then the matinee gentle
men only-commenc First one o
that old party's heels would knock oyel
a pile of ssdead matter, then as ht
swung around again another woulC
knock over a lot of Congressional re
ports that he was saving to sell for olC
paper, and about four hundred packages
of garden seeds sent by Congressman
Snags to his constituents in that county
Then his right arm would hit his dat,
stamp and knock it so that it woulC
strike his mueilage bottle and caron
onto the ink bottle and break both
Then another arm would go through
the air and knock off lot of circular
from the Henry College Lottery. ant
finally with wild yell we picked hin
up and fred him through a bacl
window, right through a big poster o
the Snags County District Fair that wa
acting in the place of glass.
As we got on the train the next morn
ing at st. Louis, we heard the newsboy
yelling: ssAll about the bloody affair a
SnagsTille. Eight masked robbers at
tack the postmaster, who shoots tw
and drives the others off Object sup
posed TO be robbery
We only smiled. We could afford t
! smile; we had succeeded in borrowing
fifty cents of a friend in st. Louis to bu
dinner with, and our pass was safe i
our pocket. E.,ansuille ArgaS.
: "A scientific man writing from Flol
ida, speaks of the great advantage
l houses have there, as well as in Sout
! Alabama, in being built upon pillar
: and having no cellars. The cellar al
nlosphere is prolific source of disease
and increases seventy-fye per cent. th
: risk from malaria. With the house
upon pillars there is always free circuls