Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-02-14
JUST JOKING.

The medical student Is always ready
to cut an acquaintance.
The pawnbroker always takes great
interest in his business.
"No one knows more of the ups and
downs of life than do, says our ele-
vator man.
Why are very young dudes like very
new wheat1 Both are too green to
trash.
They say dogs can't reason but no
one will doubt that dog tries to
reach a conclusion when he chases his
tail.
What man must have his glass be-
fore he can do days work. A
glazer.
If I were in the sun and you were
out of it what would the sun become2
Sin.
What is the most unfortunate vege-
table they could have on board a ship'
a leek
What is that which gives a cold,
cures a cold and pays the doctors bill2
A draught.
At swell wedding in this city the
other day the best man was the brides
pug dog. Chicago Telegram.
A young gushing thing-the last
oil strike. That's why they call an
oil well she" Pittsburg Telegraph.
A New York pastor preached the
other Sunday on The Shameless
Age" 1t was probably hit at some
of the sixty-yearold ballet dancers.
Chicago Sun.
"When | accidentally let my fork
fall to tina floor while at dinner, what
IS it a sign of9"-Sue. Awkwardness,
Sue dear, awkwardness Oil City
Derrick
1t is an i'll wind that blows nobody
good The breeze which fills your
ewes with dust makes the open barrels
of sugar in front of the grocery store
weigh heavier. Philadelphia Call
A Wyoming man recently blew out
his brains because he had the rheuma-
tism. If he Il o ght that his rheuma
tism was cured by too m ch brains he
must have been badly mistaken.
A small boy, who stood gazing wist-
fully at a large candy man in a city
confectioner's window, suddenly ex-
claimed II could lick that fellow
with both hands tied behind my
back.
81 thought remarked Jones, that
the weather prophets told US we were
going to have an open winter" ut is
open, remarked Brown-"open to
criticism"
A girl ON exhibition at Chicago has
ten fingers on each hand. If she ever
gets married and allows them to toy
with the hair of her husband in the
usual martial way his head is liable
to grow bald in a single matinee. Bis
marck Tribune.
A Vermont woman was severely IN
jured the other day by the bursting of
a doughnut We don't wonder that
tie city people who spend their va
cations in the country come home all
torn to pieces with dyspepsia. Bur
lington Free Press.
Edison says that within four years
electricity will have entirely displaced
gas and even kerosene as illumination.
viii Mr.. Edison please go q bit fur
Their and explain how the servant girl
is TO blow herself mp trying to light
the fire with electric light2 Boston
Star.
"Just Think In Heidelberg once
came across a negro who was actually
so black that he could not be seen
without light HIM ! saw a
fellow one time in MANNHEIM who
was so thin he always had to enter
room twice before being noticed "
Philadelphia Call.
MY poor man, said the doctor,
''you are dangerously i'll. Is there
any word you want to send to your
friendsg "Am ] really so ill?' asked
the sufferer. Alas | can offer you
no hope" Every we'll SAID the sick
man; 'iust telephone for another doc
tor. " Philadelphia Call.
A Connecticut man, whose wife
died a few monthsago, has been oblg-
ed to explain that the habitual smile
he wears on his countenance was pla-
ced their by nature, and not intended
as a disrespect to the memory OF his
wife. IL is said that some of his neigh
bors believe this. Philadelphia Call.
The very earliest record Of curved
pitching was in Noah's time; for do
we not read that Noah pitched the
ark without and withinl" Antedilu-
Wan.
Some Of the coffee served nowadays
is so weak that it looks shameful for
the strong. active and digestive organs
to tackle the poor helpless thing. Bis
marck Tribune.
An exchange says: " More and
more are we struck with the frequency
with which marriages occur True,
the more.margiages that occur more
and more are we struck. Texas Slf-
tings
A thirteen year-old girl Of Amherst,
Wis, has only blue spots on her face
where her eyes should be, We have
wouldn't heer to EN-, but that very
had such phenomena before, particu-
larlyafter Fourth Of July, Christmas