The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1884-02-01
HUMOROUS.

-'My Lord, " said TawmuA, " you've
no idea what horror it gives a man to
steal up behind a girl who is scribbling,
look over her shoulder and find that
she's idly writing your name, with a
Mrs. prefxed. Boston Post.
"A " Bumper:'' whats phrenol-
ogy, map" bumps on the head, my
dear ''Was pa chronological when
he came home the other morning and
you were putting vinegar and brown
paper on his head, map Fun.
AS two ladies were gazing at the
large black bear brought into town
yesterday, one remarked: "Oh, what
nice buffalo-robe his skin would
maken' The other replied: "Or such
a splendid sealskin sacque. "-OI City
Derrick.
"A Terrible Infant
Irecollect nurse called Ann,
Who carrie me about the grass,
And one fine day fac young man
Came up and kissed the pretty lass.
She did not make the least objectionl
Thinks /: "Ahai
When can talk I'll tell mammal"
And that's my earliest recollection.
Irish gentleman (paying debt of
honor: "There's the sovereign We
kindly lint me, Brown. I'm sorry
haven't been able'' Saxon (pocketing
the coin): Never thought of it from
that day to this. Forgot al about it."
Irish gentleman: Bedad! / wish ye'd
tould me that before!'
"A confirmed old bachelor was out
at social gathering the other evening,
where he was so unfortunate as to be-
come seated behind a party of vivacious
young ladies. Conversation turned
upon athletic subjects, when one pert
young miss inquired: ''Mr. Brown, what
is your favorite exercise% "Oh, 1
have no preferences; but just at present
| should prefer dumb bellies, was his
rather curt reply Chicago Times.
This introduction gives me great
pleasure, believe me, frankly ex-
claimed Brown, when introduced to a
popular society actress. ''Really, you
tlatter me, Mr.. Brown '.Not at all. I
have worshiped you from distance
for over twenty years and" Brown
is still engaged racking his brain trying
to find out why the actress cut him
short and has since declined to recog-
nize him when they accidentally met
Boston Globe
A colored individual who went
down on the slippery flags at the corner
of Woodward avenue and Congress
street scrambled up and backed out
into the street and took long look
toward the roof of the nearest build
inc. ssYou fell from the third-story
window, = remarked pedestrian who
had witnessed the tumble. BOSS, 1
believes yer" was the prompt reply;
ssbut what puzzles me am de queshun
Of how | got up dar' an why / was
leanin' outer de winder Detroit Free
Press.
According to the testimony of the
witnesses you were caught Just as you
were getting out of the window, with
Che contents of the till in your pockets.
Now, what excuse have you got?'' and
the magistrate leaned back in his chair
very complacently. 81 know it, your
honor, and / shall always be grateful to
the man who caught me. When | have
these somnambulistic fits I am in dan
ger of falling out of windows and hurt
ing myself '.That idea never occurred
to me-" remarked the magistrate, pen
sively. cit has often occurred to me, =
remarked the prisoner. with uncon-
scious humor. THAT being the case,
will direct the GOVERNOR ITO turn
me Ioose?'' s.No, but to have an extra
bar across your cell window, for fear
you may fall out. - Chicago Herald.