Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-29
TigDY LOVERS.
Il, area Problem.

Isndon Standard ii 55s HI
We must confess that we do not often
feel much asannira ton for popular songs,
but one was warbled BIZ i dan1sel in our
presence not long ago which struck us as
being one OF the most clever connections
for yo1.ng lady consumption which we
had ever met with In simple diction,
and with much pathos, not unmingled
with humor, it embodied the feelings
ola maiden who hadsworked herself up
to this desperate resolution that her
lover must either 1scorne up to the
scratch" or be shown to the front door,
and then came in the appeal: s
So If there is nothing you'rewaiting TO say,
"a Don't ron think we had best say adieu?r
with 8 minor third for the last syllable
positively melting in its plaintiveness,
She thus puts the young man into
corner, and though we do not get his
answer, we trust shat he is thoroughly
ashamed OF himself, and runs OFF to be
asked forthwith. = Now this song
ought to command large market, be.
cause the situation it depicts is that ola
great many more maidens than would
like to confess it; and if sung with the
right information, the proper color of
waistband, the due amount Of negli
gence in the hair, the right play of the
eyelashes, a suggestion Of heartless
desertion in the high-heeled shoes, the
proper number of candles in the room,
the right sort OF supper cooking below,
and nobody to listen but the right
young MAXWELL, it ought, at least, to
be worth more than the customary as.
net
This serious situation in life is far
too common indeed, it ought never to
occur at all. Our young men, who have
so many more opportunities for culture
and enlightment than we had when we
were young magazines, eight
hours at the seaside, Mr.. Matthew Ar
nold's lectures, compulsory vaccination,
and SO many others--ought really
to know better than to place
young lady in this dilemma.
When young Jones goes to sec young
Brown three times q week regularly,
besides calling in. the morning to walk
with him to business. is not his object
transparent? How can he imagine that
any one supposes he does so for the
sake Of Browns company, or that it is
not Miss Brown who is the real attrac-
ton! When he sings duets with the
the young lady asks for his IA
favorite pieces from her fair
hands, and actually goes the length
Of presenting her with music, how can
he suppose that any one will imagine it
is simply for the satisfaction of his mu-
steal ear? The Monday Pops or the
Christy minstrels, according to his
taste, are open to him, if that was all.
II he has no Intentions" why does he
send round orders for the theatre for
young Brown and his sister, meeting
TIE pair at the door and paying for a,
ticket, instead Of going with q friend
himself? It is Of no use for him to
think that il is q mere recognition Of
the hospitality he receives, for none
with q grain OF sense could take it in
that light. Why does he accompany
The younger members of the family to
the local dances, and waltz thrice with
Miss Brown? The subterfuge that
be addresses to himself that he
''mnst dance with somebody is
too transparent and zoo contempt
lille for refutation.. Then why on earth
does, he kiss the younger Brown chill
dren, il it is not by way Of gentle hint
that he is only too prepared to salute,
under proper. conditions, Miss Brown
herself? Young men are not in the habit
Of kissing children without q reason, for
ii, and there is no adequate reason but
an elder, sister, Why is he so hearty
with Brown senior, sitting out with un-
'wearied counentanee that gentleman's
longest stories, if be is not really medi-
tating a short story Of his own, in return,
conveying necessary personal particu-
lars, and concluding with an offer to
cement! Why doesfhe smile at the SER
want, and the servant smile at him,
when he asks if young Mr.. Brown is
in, 1if there is really nothing more lin
il" than an attachement to Brown junior
And when, after all these signs and tok-
ems which point to only one issue, young
Jones keeps on coming and coming but
never comes tothe point, isnot his con-
duct shocking, and has not every one
right to be offended is not the whole
household necessitated to take the mat
ter up, and even the maid forced by
sympathy to smile mo longer at Jones
when he appears on the doorstep?
Here is indeet distressing family sit
uation, brought about by thoughtless
young man, who, no doubt, would not
harm fly, or needlessly set foot ON a
worm, or give any man Q bad cigar,
on shut any railway carriage door
against mother and infant, if he knew
it. And this situation, also, repeats
inself, 1nutatis, mutandis, in very many
households. The tardy lover obtrudess
himself with Indifference into the cas-
tie and the cottage. There he is, q
problem for every one to deal with, and
he must be dealt with; but how to deal
with him !? a# III + 3.t T.. .s.< y;
The men, towards as they are, act in
. the meanest manner, and say with bra
zen countenanees that ii is plainly q
woman s business; but this suggestion
is received on the feminine side with
Misrepresentation, if not disgust, and.
though attacked with much hattery,
they remain obdurate in their refusalto.
carry il out, Eyes, rather than tongues
suggest whether something cannot be
done by Matilda herself, but when Ma
tilda folds her hands and casts her wan
eyes up to the ceiling, declares that she
would rather die first. and leaves the
room with gl1sh Of tears and the slight
est slam to the door, every one frowns
upon every one else for having dared to-
intimate sucn q thing. No, some one