Connecticut western news., 1884-12-17
ADVERTISING RATES 1,
WIT AND WISDOM.

own country.
 WHEN the sen Is crossed tho saint is generally forgotten.
 TIE latest retGrns-Husbands getting home from the club.
 SERVE great man and you wiH know what sorrow is.
 TIE male voice Q girl likes best to hear-the ono with "ring" to it.
 A PRooFREApERs' society in Boston calls itself the "House of Correction" You cannot jump over mountain, but step by step takes you to the other side.
 PROMISES hold men faster than bene- fits hope is 8 cable and gratitude s thread.
 ODDLY enough, the shorter the string of fish is the more lying it seems to require.
 TIE front steps arc deserted now. The season has passed when she stoops to conquer.
 ST. JOHN says he is as happy as clam. By the way, all clam wants is plenty of water.
 A BOY can pull four dimes moro weight in boys on a sled than he can coal from the back yard.
 AN editor offers reward for the best treatise on "How to make outdoor life attractive to the mosquito"
 "TuERE is no place like home," says the poet. Right unless it's the home of the young woman you're after.
 TIE hack horse knows right away whether the driver is being paid by the trip or by the hour when he has a load.
 MANY a young lady is perfect in pres sing autumn leaves who leaves all the pressing of her clothing to her aged mother.
 VIZ arraign society if it do not give us besides earth and fire and water, oppor- tunity, love, reverence and the objects of veneration.-Ggts.
 IT is true that genius takes its rise out of the mountains of rectitude; that all real beauty and power are born in that Alpine district.-ENHRsoN.
 OF no use are the men who study to do exactly as was done before, who can never understand that to-day is . new day.-7he Fortune of tho Republic.
 MAN is continually saying to woman, "why are you not more wise 2" Woman is constantly saying to man, "Why are you not more loving?' Unless each is both wise and loving there can be no real growth.
 "wHAr is more awful to contemplate, !" said a lecturer, glaring about him, ''than the resstless power of the maelstrom 2 And henpeeked looking man in tta rear of his building softly replied, "ie' malestrom.
 TIE sphere of our affections is one in which we are apt to expect too much from others and thus to cause bitterness and arrangement. Where we love we crave to be loved; but this craving may blossom into a selfish oppression.
 A LITTLE boy in one of the city schools, while defining words n few dayr since, made mistake which was mol all a mistake. He said: "A demageguC is vessel that holds gin, whisky, ol my other kind of intoxicating liquor"
 "How IS it, Fogg, that you are al ways advising everybody to marry, and yet you show no hurry about taking . wife yourseli?" Fogg "Beoause, my boy, I'm too much of a gentleman tc help myself until everybody else is sup piled"
 "wrII," said tho doctor, "to me it's plain
 then,
 That the business of lawyer don't mAki
 angels out of men"
 "well, doctor." said tho lawyer, ''in that must opine
 That the medical professions just the oppoaiI'
 of mine"
 You will find existence full of swee' sayor if you do not expect from it what it cannot give. When people complain of life it is usually because they hay' asked impossible things from it. Ther' is but one foundation for happy mfe- inc love of tho good and of the true.
 YouNa WIFE: "T am determined to learn at what hour my husband oomel home at nights; yet, do what l will, cannot keep awake, and he is alwayi careful not to make a particle of noise, Is there any drug which produces wakefulness ?" old wife "No need ts buy drugs. Sprinkle the floor witt tacks."
 Youxa WIFE" Why, Charley, what : have you gone and bought dog for ?" , Young Husband-" Ah-um, my dear, you know we can't cat everything that ,, comes on the table--no family can. " Young wife-" Oh, Charley 1 Corying) l , knew you wouldn't like my cooking. Oh, dear, dear !" Young husband-- i, "There, there don't cry IF sell tho dog. "--BuriiHgtoR Free Press. AN item to the effect that doorg, ,, Sand earned more than S2000o by hei , pen IS going the rounds of the press |, We are we'll acquainted with man Nh, cannot write grammatical sentence (, save his soul from Gehenna, but, il spite of this, he has earned nearly S250 900 with his pen. His pens at present , yield over S5,000 per year, md he use , several of them. He keeps pigs in them D PRENTICE told friend thai his famoui ? poem" "The Closing Year" was written un