Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1884-06-27
FUN

NOT MUCH OF HERo.-They were
enjoying the river view by moonlight at
West Point, and George, with his gray
uniform, looked every inch soldier.
GEORGE she remarked softly, "do you
ever expect to become a great general ?
Like General Sherman, for instance 2"
George rather allowed that he did not
expect to.
.Ihave always admired Gen. Sherman, :"
she went on, quietly.
Yes" George replied, "Gen. Sherman
is distinguished fighter. He did splendid
service during the war;"
don't remember very much about the
war;" she said, 'but I have met Gen.
Sherman several times, and do you know,
George, that he always kissed me? He is
q great soldier, and admire him immen-
sely.''
eyes, indeed,' acquiesced George,
'sGen Sherman is great soldier"
And then she complained of the chill in
the air, and as they returned, George
wondered why she was silently. Y.
Sun.
OBL1GING GIRL.-He was married
man, blessed-or the opposite, as the
reader may determine-witha an extremely
jealous wife. One evening not long since
he seized chance opportunity to do es-
cort to charming miss of sweet 49,,
whose blue eyes and dark dropping lashes
exercised glamour over every man who
happened to come within range of their
charm. At last her home was reached,
and as they paused at the gate the maiden
turned her lovely orbs full upon him and
said
''I'm SO grateful for your kindness,
Sir ~
''Don't mention it, I beg of you," he
calculated calamity.
Very likely the unsophisticated maiden
misunderstood the motive of his remark
for she quickly answered in reassuring
tone
"Oh, certainly won't, Sir, as long as
live, if you don't wish me to-
BELTED KNIGHTS. -"Pa, did not they
belt knights of old to make them noble
men ?'' asked young Jarphly.
$50 it is related in ancient histor y, my
son. replied MIR. Jarphly, much pleased
at the little boys erudltion.
"And would not you like to become a
nobleman and live in a castle, and not
have to turn your cuffs ?" continued his
son.
"Those are singular questions" said
his father cautiously. ITO be belIed
knight in olden times was esteemed a
great honor"
"Well, you can become knight if you
want to, pa.'
SLOW so, my son ?''
"Why, ma said if you came home at 2
O'Clock IN the morning again and stuffed
the keyhole of the front door full of tobies
like you did last night, she would belt you.
-Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
SIMPLY IMMENsE.-George had been
holding his girl on his lap for over two
hours, and as she weighed one hundred
and ninety odd pounds he was feeling a
little bit tired, but he was too much of a
gentleman to tell her so.
George, DEAR" she murmured softly,
''are you having pleasant call ?"
"Delightful, darling," he responded
family.
"And you are not sorry that we are to
be married so soon 7"
"No indeed ~
''And you think am real nice gjrl?'
she continued lovingly.
Mice girl ?" repeated George, enthusi-
astically. mice girl doesn't begin to ex-
press it. 1 think you are an immense
girl."-Iraveler' Magazine.
AN UNRESTRICTED DELEGATE
Little Jack-Pop, you are delegate to
the Presidential Convention, amt you?
Pop-Yes, my son.
Little lakeland didn't you say you
was an instructed delegate ?
Pop-Yes.
Little Jack-Then what for did Mr..
BIggs tell Mr.. Bogg you wasn't2
Pop-Oh! I guess you misunderstood.
Little Jack-NO, I didn't. He thinks
you are uninstructed.
Pop-Why do you think so?
Little Jack-Because he said he didn't
see why the party should select such an
ignoramus as you.-Phizadelphia Call.
The SCHOOL BoYs PROGRESS
Parent-Well, Johnny, how are you get
ting along at SCHOOL,
Johnny-Oh, first rate. I started on
third, but am on first now.
Fond Parent-Glad to hear it, my son.
Always try to be first. There is fifty cents
for your industry.
.Jehnny-Ain't that nice I'll try to get
higher yet.
Fond Parent-Higher2 How can you
be higher than first
Johnny-EasY enough. can get to be
short stop or pitcher.-Philadelp Call.
A thousand women were present at a
recent Kentucky hanging. There being
very few churches in Kentucky, it was
about the only opportunity they had to
show their new spring bonnets.
tWhat sort Of water do you have in
Austin ?" asked a stranger of Huddle.
First rate. Il you put in whiskey
enough, it will make as good teddy as
any water ever drank was Huddle' 8
candid reply.
David Davis says that If he should ever
do anything wrong he would not try to
get out of it, but would throw himself on
the mercy of the court. If such thing
should happen the court would have our