davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21
Failed to Comprehend Exactly.

He was pompous, well-dressed, fine
looking man, and came pounding into
the office like cyclone going up grade
through trestle work. He wanted to
know where the editor was.
Il am that citizen" responded man
over In the corner with a half-cocked
pair of scissors in his hand.
"Oho; you are, are you? Well, get
ready, for I'm going to clean your dis
reputable Office out!' roared the Wis
itor.
"You don't say So" placidly respond
ed the man with the scissors, looking
around the room. I'm mighty glad to
know it, for we've been too busy to at
tend to it ourselves. Here's dust-rag;
you can begin over in that corner by
the window, and if you get stuck you
will find shovel and a wheel-barrow
out in the back yard, which may be of
some assistance to you. When you get
through the bookkeeper will settle"
Settle, thunder and lightningl I
propose to do the settling myself"
"Ah, indeed! That will relieve the
bookkeeper then"
Listen to me-" now fairly shriel.ed
the ponderous visitor; 1--WE been insult
ed, and 1 propose to sweep the floor
with you. With you, sirl"
whats the matter with the broom ?"
inquired the smiling editor.
you infamous scoundrel can't you
understand what am here for? pro-
pose to give you a threshing, sir"
us your threshing machine run by
steam or horse power, and will you give
me threshing of wheat or oats? You
are very kind, sir, to thus proffer a
poor editor so much of your worldly
store"
"What are you talking about, any
how. I thought you had some sense.
I am here, sir, to whip you like cur"
"Oh. l beg your pardon, sir; I
thought your visit was of an entirely
different nature. I presume, sir, you
Will wait until l can go down stairs and
return"
Certainly, sir; when whip man
do it like gentleman.
"Thank you, sir; just sit down,
please, and read anything on my desk
And then, as he closed the door, con-
tinued: "Ill be back sometime within
the next three months. Ia, ia, sweet
heart"
When the irate visitor next saw the
editor he was in such a good humor
that he asked him to take a drink
Merchant Troueler.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21
A Story About Whistler.

A friend of mine,1 said my inform
ant, was wandering through a street
in London one rainy, foggy night about
IL o'clock, in doubt as to whether he
should go to the club for rubber at
whist, or to go home. What! is that
you? Why, how are you, my dear fell
low He turned and there was Whist
Ter, just as wet as he This is good
luck, said the artist; come home with
me and have some beer and cracker. -
SO off they went to Whistler's house,
in the suburbs somewhere, through the
rain and darkness. Once there the
house was as black as the night.
Whistler rang the bell but there was
no reply. He rang again and still
harder, but apparently he might as
well have tried to wake the dead.
There wasn't sign of life in the house.
Well, for nearly half an hour those two
men stood at the door and tried in vain
to get into the house, Whistler, / am
afraid, swearing at the stupidity of his
servants, while the vision of quiet
chat over the beer and crackers gradu-
ally began to fade from my friends
mind.
Finally, however, the door opened q
few inches and the two men were soon
conducted in very mysterious manner
through the hall and few rooms. not
a ray of light meanwhile being visible.
Here Whistler left his guest for few
moments, and in his absence, 10 the
whole house suddenly blased with
lights. The doors between the apart
ments were simultaneously thrown
open, and gorgeous scene presented
itself. In the elegant dining hall was
table loaded with all the delicacies of
the season, and set off with the rarest
of old china, and glass in exquisite
shapes and designs. Wines were there
in abundance; and in their proper
places were the buffers and servants,
ready to do their bidding at this
sumptuous repast. "This was Whist
ler's lunch OF crackers and cheese.
The whole affair, said my friend, was
one of Whistler's strong conceits-his
apparently accidental meeting with me
when he had probably been hunting
for me for hours), his selection of mid
night for such an escapade, his inabil-
ity to get into his house (all arranged
beforehand), and his surprise for me
when / entered. No man bot Whistler
would think of such a thing, and no
one else would carry it out in such per-
lection as he. There was enough for
twenty men on the table, and there we
two sat till early morning, eating and
talking of thousand things. Lon
don letter.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21

advantage; it also reduces the usefulness
OF the books, as they are less easily
handled and kept apart and in order.
However. it may be well to cover chill
dren $ school-books, but with muslin,
not paper.
Never attempt to classify books on
your shelves by the colors of the bind
lngs. or by the sizes of the books them
selves. Put the works of an author To-
gether, as far as possible, however in
congruous their sizes may be And try
to keep books on the same and kindred
subjects as close together rs may be
convenient The CriIic
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21
Wonderful Workmanship.

A Texas military company were out
on the range recently practicing at rifle
shooting. The Lieutenant in command
suddenly became exasperated at the
poor shooting, and, Selling a gun from
one of the privates, angrily exclaimed I:
I'll show you fellows how to shoot I"
Taking a long aim, and strong aim,
and an aim altogether, he fired, and
missed. Coolly turning to the private
who owned the gun, he said:
That's the way you shoot
In this manner he contrived to miss
about fifty or sixty times, illustrating
to each soldier his personal incapacity,
and finally he accidentally hit the
target.
And that, he calculated, handing
the gun back to the private, lis tho
way shoot. - eras SiJtings.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21

DIGGING out tarantulas and theiy
nests has become quite an industry in
Santa Barbara, Cal The insects are
suffocated with gas, then stuffed, dried
and fastened to card. The retail
price is 80 cents each, but many
hundreds are sold wholesale for So or
81 per dozen.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21

The Concord school of philosophers are
not at all inclined to adopt Mr.. Arnold s
dictum, when he says that Emerson was
not great poet, or great philosopher,
or great man of any sort. Next sum-
mer, the whole week of the Concord
school of philosophy will be devoted to
loving talk about Emerson, and Mr.
Arnold ought to be presented with a
course ticket, and induced to stay over
and use it, for thereby he might gain
some new ideas about the American Car
isle. ifteenlearned essayists will discuss
Emerson from fifteen different points of
view. His view of nature, his relation
to German literature, his nationality
of character, his religion, his relation
to Boston, etc. will be treated of with de-
votional fervor by Drs. w. L. Harris,
Bartol and Hedge, Mrs. Howe, Mrs.
Cheney, Mr.. Sanborn, Mr.. Julian Haw-
thorne, and others of the Concord
school of thinkers.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21

The Hon. Wayne Macveagh contrib
tributes to the March Century paper
on 1.-The Next Presidency" in which the
ideal president is pictured, and the au-
thor ventures the opinion that Che polit-
zeal party nominating the man who APP
proaches nearest that ideal will be suc-
cessful in the coming election. Another
important essay in this forthcoming
number of The Century discusses
methods for 1.-The Suppression of Pau
perism.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21

This weeks money article, in The
New York Tribune, shows that money
is more abundant now in that city than
it has been for years. The unemployed
cash held by the banks is now about
1913, 900, 900 larger than in any previous
year since resumption of specie pay
ments, and S35, 900, 900 larger than was
held at the same date in the year of re-
sumption, and $50 100000 larger than
was held at the same date in 1880, a
year of general prosperity. The sur
plus reserve, or excess of the cash held
over the legal proportion of deposits, is
now $40, 29S, 1875. Last year at this date
it was $7,840,050; in 1882 it was &c.
381 1925, in 1881 about the same, and in
1880 less than S4,000,000. The money
market is easy, and the demand so in
adequate that rates of exchange stand
close to the gold-shipping point. A
decrease in shipments of grain or cotton,
a further movement of securities to this
side, or an increased demand for money
in Europe-contingencies which cannot
be considered improbable-might at
any time cause exports of gold.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21
Nearly all the, Prime Ministers of Eng

Nearly all the. Prime Ministers of Eng
land reach a mature age before they
attained to the honor. Mr.. Gladstone
was SO when he first held the position.
Lord Beaconsfeld was 63, Lord
Palmerston 20, Lord Derby SO, Sir
Robert Peel 50. the Duke of Wellington
Sc, and Earl Russell 50. In striking
contrast with these veterans appears
the youthful Pitt. who became Prime
Minister before he had completed his
25th year.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21

The New York Mail and Express is
getting pretty high for common people.
1t is printed with delicate blue ink out
of respect to the color OF the blood of the
class of people among whom il circu-
lates. The Tribune must consider this
an invasion of its own field, bit it SAYS
nothing.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21
Sam Patch's Death.

The business or industry of going
over waterfalls and maelstroms was
started in this country many years ago
by supplemented fellow name.l
Samuel Patch, who lived at Pawtucket,
L. /. While at work on the roof of d
high building that stood beside the
Blackstone river, at the had of tha
Pawtucket falls, Patch slipped, and,
seeing that he must go, jumped with all
his might into the raging torrent \
few moments later he landed safely
some distance below the cataract. Their
was deal of talk about the exploit
then deemed marvel, and Patch took
it into his head that jumping fills
would be paying business. He tried
it successfully in many places, but tried
it once too often. An old ballad says
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21
Twas at the falls of Genessee
That Sam made his last dive;
Headlong he plunged into the flood
And ue'er come ont alive.

But tradition records that Sam had
partaken too freely of his favorite bey-
erage, rum, before essaying the fatal
leap, and that the responsibility of Iii,
failure belongs not to water, but to the
popular stimulant which be so much
affected. The mother of Samuel Patch
survived him many years, living at Paw
tucket in respectable widowhood, and
often relating to visitors the story of her
sons strange career.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-21
AGENCIES.

No attention will be paid to anonymous cores
pondents. All articles for publication must be
signed by the name OF the writer; not for publ-
cation. unless tits wished. but as a guarantee
OF good faith. General correspondence must be
received by Monday evening In order to insure
publication the same week. No rejected manu-
scripts will be returned unless accompanied by
stamps TO prepay postage.
Subscribers wishing their postoffice address
changed should send their old as well as thenew
address.
The postage on THE HERALD Il one cent for
anywhere in the United States or Europe.
The HERALD is sent to subscribers until an
explicit order is received by the publisher for
its discontinuence. and all payment OF arrear-
ages is made according to law.
The Courts have decided that all subscribers
tOnewspapers are held responsible until arrear.
ages are paid and their papers are ordered to be
discontinued
The price for legal advertising is fixed by law,
and advertisements of this character win be
charged legal rates.
Advertisements ordered ont before expiration
of contract will be charged transient rates.
No Especial Position" viii be given advertisers
No advertisements win be inserted for foreign
advertisers at less rates than that charged home
patrons.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-10-21
Chicapo Produce

CHICAGO Oct. Colour quiet and unchanged;
good to choice winter wheat -four, $780,. so:
Michigan winter wheat -four GO. 5O04.25; spring
wheat four S3.50Ss4.O0; Minnesota bakers
SS.750l. so; patents Si.7505.5O; low grades
Sa.0O93OO; rye -four dull at S3.O0G3.s5 in
barrels, 81 90 in sacks buckwheat 81 co per
100 pounds in sacks; Southern Illinois and Mis-
souri, winter wheat -four Sj.2505.75; common
10 choice Minnesota SS.5034OO Wheat,
in fair demand, but weaker; the receipts were
liberal and foreign adyices unfavorsble; opened
i4@ac lower, rallied sc, fell of s ard closed
!. c lower; sales ranged: October 72hG73hc,
closed at 725c; November 7SS 9741c, closed
at 90 sc; December 75h076hc, closed at 75 !, c;
January 76it ge76zie c, closed al 76I4c; May 1914
6s3s{c, closed at Ss& No. Chicago spring
72ss q &c, closed at 725s 973c; No. 3 Chicago
spring $50; No. red 73a 074c; No. red 65
@G5fc. Corn. in good demand but unsettled
and generally lower; the market was weak early,
November declining 1s91c, bat rallied again,
finally closingAc under Saturday: cash. ASA
4Sc. closed at 475se: October 10 Il case. closed
at Ar el4Tssc; November ass G49I c. closed at
40 &c; year 30 5 G80Sc, closed at 4OG4O3Sc ;
January 81 "a egSS, closed at 314c; May 80 "a
90 ) c, closed II 80 &C. Oats were steady; CASH
25s closed At % i year p 9259s, closed al
% Sc; May 2Sss gaze. closed at 2SSe. Rye
was easier at 5sc. Barley was duh at sea
5sssc Pax seed was GrIner at SI.55A PORK.
in good demand, declined COG 25c, rallied IOEt
l5c and closed steady: cash So. 75I 90: Octo-
Der SIS. $4,000, closed at $500: year 81. 50
ellis, closed at S1l.55; January s1I. roo
II.S7is. closed at Sl1s041I. SCI Lard. in
fair demand but irregular; declined 5a7Ls, raj
lied 55435c and closed STEADY, cash s.. ie6.
T.I2k; October S7-0997.I0; Sovem-
Der Sc. 9567.u 5, closed at Sc. 97H al. co;
January sos G7.f2ts, c.Osed 81 s.. = a. 10
Bulk meats IN fair demand: shoulders, 8. Is:
short ribs sS.S55. Short clear Si0.a5. Butter.
on the produce exchange The call FOR and sale of
butter was dull and weak; extra fine u fancy
grades OF creamery, ssG29c; coed to choice coz.
&c; fair 10 me dairy, 15G25c. Eggs were
firm az I9sts0c. whisky was steady aud IN
changed a. SI.l2 Freights-eora TO Buffalo
1870.
Receipts. 1900 barrels OF aolr: 1856 COO bush-
els CT wheat: 10000 bushels of corr: 23l COO
bushels OF oats; $1,000 bushels Of re:
1900 bzsEels OF barley. Shipments, u 00C
barrels OF Hour; 5l,00O bushels Of wheat
$4,000 bushels OF cora; $4,000 bushels o,
oats; 1900 bushes OF Eye; -. 900 bushels oil
barley.
$3.50 , ID On the afternoon hoard-wheai
was Erner: October. November and Decsmbei
advanced &c Corn was frmer. October ans
year advanced lie. November advanced &c
Oats were aruer and advanced &c. Pork va.
stronger: Year advanced ISc: JzuCzr5 aissae@l
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-10-21
st. Paul wholesale Produce Market.

st. Paul Wholesale Produce Market
e2g-The following prices are for round lots
only.
BUTTER-Grease &c; packers stock of
flavor, 5Q7c; sound 1Oc; dairy, common 10 fair,
lO012c ;choice dairy, 16020c creamery 20@24c;
fancy brands 26G2Sc; extra choice in 30l0
ID. boxes, 27130c.
BEANs-Common, s1.OO01.25; medium, 81 SO
az 90; hand picked navys, 81. 00@2. 25.
RooTs-( MedicinaD ginseng green, soc; dry,
$1.6OD1.7O: seneca snake root, 35G38c per 10.
CIDER-New York, s. per barrel.
CHERsE-Skim "a 0e6 a c fun cream, f2G3 &c.
HoNEY-New clover 1SQ2Oc; buckwheaL 16
@17c.
BACON AND HAMs-Long clears bacon. 12c:
dry salt 111sc; long roll, lee; short
roll, II; breakfast, l34c; shoulders,
SIC; hams. 1870
MESS PoRK-Sl7 .5o0S1s. 90.
FLoUR-Patents,S5 s.. 0O05. SO: best winter wheat
patents $3.50; straight, s4.5O15.OJ; winter
wheat straight, s.. 80: Bakers xxx, $4,000
$50; low grades, S2.751a.OO; rye hour, S9.30G
$3.50 per barrel; graham, S3.7594.25 per barrel,
buckwheat hour, $500.
SHc;extra prime beef, 9&c; mutton, city dressed
sH09c; veal, 10c; pork, &c.
HIDEs--Green, sailed, 7Gt71.c; green, 607c;
dry flint, 12Hc; calf, dry, 12Hc; green lie; deer.
dry, 2O125c; antelope, 20025c; elk, 2O025ci
bnifAlo, Sl1Oc, damaged Il of; sheep pelts,
shearings 35c, lamb 40650c.
TALLow-No. 1, SOS &c; No. ., &c.
WooL-Unwashed. 140l5c; washed 20122.
NUTs-Hickory, large, Sl.0O; small, Sl.2o,
walnuts 15c; almonds, 10000; Barcelona ma
eel (llberts) 14c; pecans, l01l1c; Brazil, 14c;
peanuJs S013c; Cocoa nuts, $5.0017.O0 per
100
Observation-Disclosures, S5c per bushel; cab
bage GOc per doz o.g; carrots, 3O435 per buShel
potatoes, 25GB35c o. e. per bushel; onions
S1.lOGe1.50 per Dbl. o. g.; sweet potatoes,
Jerseys, csc per box, $500 per barrel; musca-
tines, S30S.5O per barrel.
HoPs-Washington Territory. 25G2jci New
York 25G25c.
MALT-10c175c per bushel.
POULTRY AND GANE-SprIng chickens. $50
tOc per pair; old birds, 5O065c per pair prairie
hickens, 81. 7503.00 per dozen; ducks, wild,
allard. s.. so; black 81. 50; teal Sl.25.
LINsEED 0u.-Itaw. Sic; boiled Bic Linseed
meal S2JGL21
OYsrERs-Standards, 350lOc selects, 45Q
Doc: New York, connts 50Gg5jc per can.
FRUITs--Lemons S5.O006.O0; Louisiana oranges
S7.5OQs 90 per Dbl figs, 15c 16c. 1sc per 10 crau-
berries S3.2503.15 per bu; S11 o. Z. per boil. !;
dates, black in trails 5c06c, fard IN boxes,
lie b.; Persian in 80 10. boxes 90l0c
bananas. S2.000S3.00 per bunch ;Peaches-Do-
nestle. S1.20 per peck baskets
Apples-S2 5O03 90 per barrel, fancy stand So. so.
Crabs, fine stock Sl.00GD1.75 per bushel. Pears
Buerre Clargeau, 80. 5063.75; Duchess, SS.00G
$500 per Darrell; ST. Laurence, SS.0O4S9. 90 per
| barrell; Winter Nellis, S3.750SiOo, Easter
basket. Grapes - Muscateles, $3.50;
Toksys S5.O00S5.OO per 40 ID cases;
Concord case per ID Delaware, Sl29
per 10 ID baskets; Rose Peru S4.509 500
Quinces-Calitornia, So per 40 ID case; New
York Sl.25 er basket.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-10-21
AMERICAS CROWN JEWELS.
Unknoten Gems Lifting in tie Treasur
Tn,,Ise M H-osbi,,,n,,

UnLnOten Gems LDtng in tie Treasury
Faults at Washington.
Few are aware that in the bond vaults of
the treasury are deposited for safelleeping a
large quantity OF diamonds and other pre-
cious stones which will form the nucleus of
the crown jewels when the country becomes
an empire. These gems all have histories.
Among them is bottle four or five inches
long filed with diamonds, and there are
many other kinds of precious stones. Some
of them are set in gold ornaments, intended
for personal wear. The first collection OF
which we have any authentic account has
been in the custody of the treasury officials
for over forty-fye years. They were sent to
President Van Buren, by the Imaum OF
Oman, whose capital city OF Muscat, in
Arabia, on the Persian gulf, is the mos.
widely known of all Arabian cities to out
siders. The Imaum was the dude politician
of Arabia, the boss dandy of all the Bedouin
kin, and having found that Martin Van Bu-
rem was two-fold sharper, keener, subtler
and handler than he was himself he sent
these diamonds and pearls to him as a tri-
butte to superior genius and morality. II
takes pretty smart scoundrel to discount
an Arab cutthroat of the highest classes, but
the Dutch PATRON ofKinderhook could do it,
and the Imaum of Oman allowed he could
take the cake-and the diamonds, too. But
after he took them be did not know what to
do with them. He had an elephant on bis
hands. He could not accept them for him
self, although he wanted to do so, as the con-
stitution expressly forbade any person con-
nected with the government accepting any
present or decoration from any foreign
power or potentate without express authority
OF congress. This authority congress would
not give. In fact, it was inexpedient at that
time to ask for it. So the Jewels we're finally
turned over TO the treasury, where they are
now.
But the Imaum's gift is not all. There
are in the collection superb jewels received
at other times and in various ways. Tur-
quOises blue as Syrian summer skies; en-
eralds ike the reflection OF Ireland's green
turf in her crystal-waved lakes; rubies, orien-
tai rubies, that fash aworld ofliquid crimson
light till the eye grows dim with gazing; sap
phiTes, pearls as white rs the foam Of the
sea, and opals that simmer with resinous
radiance as only the precious opal CANAL
these are there. There are many beautiful
| and many quaint ornaments, jewel.ed
brooches and rings and sword hits, be-
diamonGed crosses brought from the Malae
Isles by Wilkes and lots of other rare and
valuable trinkets. They have no defnity
owners and are placed in the treasury vaults
because they are too valuable to throw away,
and nobody dares 10 claim. because nobody
has any right to them. What disposition to
make of them is puzzle. Congress alone
can authorize their disposition, and Con-
gress, although asked several times to do so,
has declined to take any notice of them
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-10-21
So d usdieeaI Oastles.
ISt James Gazette.

The extensive ruins of Middleham castle,
in Yorkshire, celebrated for It's splendid
Norman keep, built BY Robert Fitz RaDulph,
and famous as the stronghold OF Warwick,
the king-maker, and as the favOrite residence
of his sOn-in-law, Richard Ill, are about to
be offered for sale. The fine appearance of
the keep has, however been interfered with
by the decorated buildings which surround it
and which were erected in the fifteenth CEN
tury by Robert Neville, the Peacock of the
North" In later times many of the scenes
in ''the Last OF the Barons'' were laid at
Middleham. Goodrich court which for pic
tureseue effect IS one Of the most beautiful
and attractive localities in the scenery of the
Wye, is also - be sold Goodrich castle was
in Sir Samuel Aeyrick's time, noted for its
unrivaled collection of medieval srrnor. The
mansion itself is restoration by the late
Mr. Blore- The castle, of which the p-inci-
pal remaining features are the gateway, q
three-storied Norman keep and an Edward
ian banqGeting hai. was successfully the
residence Of the earls OF Pembroke and the
TslbOts, and, later on, stood gallant siege
under Sir Henry Lingen, who held i. for the
King against the parliamentary army.