Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-04-26
ON THE TRAINING OF PARENTS.

Frank II. Stockton, in Century Magazine
Forty or fifty years ago, when the middle
aged and old people of the present day were
children or young people. the parent Occu-
pied a position in the family SO entirely diff
ierent from that in which We find him to-day,
that the subject of his training was not per-
haps of sufficient Importance to receive atten-
ton from those engaged in the promotion of
education. The training of the child by the
parent, both as necessary element in the
formation OF its character and rs q prepara-
ton for its education In the schools, was then
considered the only branch of family instruc-
ton and discipline to which the thought and
the assistance of workers in social reform
should be given.
But now that there has been such change,
especially in the United States, in the constit-
ution of the family, when the child has taken
into Its own hands that authority which was
once the prerOgatlve Of the parent, it is time
that we should recognize the altered condi-
of things, and give to the children Of the
present day that assistance and counsel In the
government and judiciOus training Of their
parents which was once 40 freely offered to
the lattsr when their offspring held subor-
dinate position In the family and household.
Since this radical change In the organiza-
ton OF the family great responsibility has
ton far more difficult than that previously
held by the parent. 1t has upon its hands not
q young and tender being, with mind inform
ed and disposition capable, in ordinary cases,
of being easily nodded and directed, but two
persons with minds and dispositions matured,
and often set and hardened, whose currents
of thought run in such well-woru channels,
| and whose Judgments are so biased and pre-
JUDGED in favor Of this or that line Of con-
duct, that the labor and annoyance of their
proper training Is frequently evaded, and the
parents are remanded to the position of pro.
viders Of necessaries, without any effort on
the part of the child TO assist them to adap,
| themselves to their new condition.
| Not only has the child Of the present day
the obvious difficulties Of Its position TO con.
tend with, but it has no traditions to fall bach
Of family affairs under consideration did mo-
exist TO any considerable extent before tint
middle OF the present century, and there art
NO available records of the government of tn,
other parts OF the world for examples o. sue
cessful tilial administration. Nowhere but il
our own country can this state of things b,
said to prevail. 1t is necessary, therefore
that those who are able to do SO should stel
forward in aid Of the child as they formerly
aided the parent, and see to it, as far as pos
,ible. that the latter receives the training
which will enable him properly to perform
the duties of the novel position which he ha
been called upon to fill. 1t is an injustice t
millions Of our citizens that the literature q
| the country contains nothing on thiS-subiect
Whether it be done properly or Improperly
the training of which We speak generally he
gins about the fifth or sixth year OF parentage
although in cases where there happens to b
but one trainer it often begins much earlier
but in these first years of hiial rule the dsci
} pline is necessarily irregular and >pssmodic
and it Is not until the fourteenth wear of hi
parental life that man is generally enable
to understand what is expected of him b
his offspring. and what line of conduct b
must pursue in order to meet its views.
| hero IN xxh IN hay
lived beyond their first decade that the gres
work of parent-training really belongs, All
it is to them that we should offer our suggeS
, tions and advice.
1t should be considered that this revolutio
in the government of the family was not on
Of force. The father and the mother wer
not hurled from their position and authorit
, by the superior power of the child, but the,
positions have been willingly abdicated by th
former. and promptly and unhesitatingly a.
e cepted by the latter. To the child then be
( longs none of the rights of the conquer or.
subjects have voluntarily placed themselv.
under its rule. and by this act they have a.
r quired h right to consideration and kind
, sympathy which should never be forgotte
= by their youthful preceptors and directors.
his present position the parent has not on
much to learn, but much to un!earn; all
+ while the child is endeavOring to indicate
n him the path in which he should walk.
should remember that the feet of father an
l
e the peculiar pedestrianism now imposed VI
4 on them, and that allowance should be mat
for the frequent slips, and trips, and eve
falls, which may happen to them. There
e but little doubt that severity ia too frequent
used in the education of parents. More
q expected of them than should be expected
. any class of people whose .luties and obig
: tions have never been systematically define
C and codtied. The parent who may he mo
d anxious to fulfill the wishes of his ofsprin
and conduct himself in such manner rs wi
, meet the entire approval OF the child, mu
: often grope IN the dark. 1t is. therefore, n
e only necessary to the peace and tranquillii
10 of the family that his duties should be delft
" ed AS clearly rs possible. but this assistance
; due TO him Us a mark of that fiiial affectG
Il which should not be permitted entirely to
n oHt, simply because the parent has vOlnntari
assumed 4 position OF inferiorty and subje
tion. 1t is obvious. then, that it is the du
|, OF the Child to 1nd out what 1t really want
= and then to make these wants clear and di
r tinct to the parents. How many instance
there are of fathers and mothers who spen
y hours. days, and even longer periods, in cl
> deav9ring to discover what it is that "
). satisfy the craving of their child. aud gi,
them that position In its esteem which thu
: much Of the parent. and there are few who
- mental vigor will hold out when they are su
.. jected, not only to the performance of one
Gus duties, but to the anxiety and veXatic
- consequently upon Tue ullucult lhsk OI utscONe
ing what those duties are.
Among the most forcible reasons why Il
rule OF the child over the parent should
tempered by kind consideration, is The hi,
degree of respect and defereuce now paid
h the wants and opinions Of children. In til
If regard they have absolutely nothing to con
e plain Of The parent lives for the benefit
the child. In many cases the prosperity u
happiness of the Latter appears to be the SO
reason for the existence OF the former. Ho
necessary is it. then, that persons occupyil
the position of parents in the prevalent o
!. sanization of the family should not be left
- exhaust themselves in undirected efforts, b.
t that the development of their ability N
!" power TO properly perform the duties of Il
is father and mother of the new era should
le made the subject of the earnest thought al
attention of the child.
1t is difficult for those whose youth elaps
before the revolution in the family. and wi
therefore never enjoyed opportunities of e:
ercising the faculties necessary in the cover
Is ment of parents, to give suitable advice al
m suggestion to those now engaged in this gre
D. work; hut the following remarks are offer
AS in the belief that they viii receive due co