The Press., 1884-06-05
------------------ NAsBY's LATEST LETTER.
CONFEDERATE X ROADS, Wich is in the State nv Kentucky,
 ~,,,;l 1SS1

NAsBY's LATEST LETTER.
 CONFEDERATE ROADS,
 Wich is in the State uv Kentucky,
 April 5, 1884.
 The wimmen uv the Corners are givin us much more trouble than the men. We kin git o1 wirh Bigief and Pollock, for we can fte them, but wen the wives, dawters and sister nv the Corners git to invadin the sakred precinks it worries us. Only last mite ther wuz almost tragedy. They cum in and led cut the Deekin, Issaker Gavitt, and Kernel McPelter by the ear, took em home and locked em in their cold houses and they returned and sat up in Bascom's bar-room till 12 o'clock at mite. It wuz terrible.
 hev studied woman with great care, and am free to admit that she hez her yooses in this world; but she is not a man vert her into sich will allus result in igno- minyus failyers. Women is ornamental, aud, in certain capacities, yooseful. In her proper speer-movin in her regler or bit-nothin is better. The wife of Issaker Gavltt IS to Bascom pleasin picter won she Is tine foreground uv 8 washtub, per elerly ez he knows that all the money she earns at that persoot he will ineyita- bly, spend at the bar. There she is in her natural speer, and is good. But wen that same bein flies out nv her orbit and flies into hizzen, she is like comet. which sloshes about among the worlds and smashes things. When she rushes fran tically into his bar, with her four hungry brats close behind her, and forbids him to sell hkker, ez she wants what she hez earned, at least, ter buy pervishens and shoes for the children, she don't please me at all she is interferin with lssaker's prerogative ez Q man, and while I don't delight Ill brootality, I can't deny that she deserves the black eye which she alluz gifts on sich occasions.
 l wuz never so convinst uv the danger nv women gettin out uv their speer ez I wuz one mite when she wuz tryin to git Issaker home, and he struck her. ''Hev- ins if que only cood do suthin," said this un, fits quick enrlff we'd shut up sich holes ez yoorn p This to Bascom
 The remark was full uv meanin to me- Issaker, and the others who spend the most uv their time and. all their money with Bascom, agreed with me that nothin cood be so dangerous to our liberties ez women. They hevn't the stiddiness nec- essary to the proper exercise uv the gov ernin function. Bascom's customers hev often commenced the discushn uy this question, and wood doubtless hev struck out suthin startling, ef they cood hev kept sober long enutf to hev developed their ideas but this know, that every man who frekents his bar is opposed to vim min, ccptin at home in their place.
 I hev reasons for not lovin woman too much. wuz wunst the head of family :; that is, I wuz where I wuz entitled to be so by law. In my youthful days was married. My spouse was the own CT, in her own rite, uv a productive farm in Moo Jersey and I he'd pictered in my mind life nv felicity such ez the poets dream nv. It was a froot farm and I said to myself, Looizer Jane shel pick them peaches Looizer Jane shel lay me on my back under the trees, and, smoking my pipe, try to forgive Eve for bringing labor into the world. I thought I would compel Looizer Jane to make rep arashen to me for the evil her mother in- ficted on me and all men.
 Ihed miscalculated Looizer Jane. When gave my direckshens the first time, ez to what she shood do, she refoosed. I re- monstrated with her, when that infoori- ated and muskoler female knocked me down with chair, and histed me out of the house by main strength. When I re- turned she poured hot water on me, (which g'kkounts for my badness and told me if come near her fur three years she'd kill I ne. At the end uv that period she got d ivorce on theground of desershen Since V 1ch time l hev wandered up and down u 1e earth with nobody to care for me. T he court didn't even grant me alimony
 She hez bin runnin the farm ever sense
 The only proper marriage arrangements l have ever seen is among the Soo lnjuns The sooperior bein uv that tribe, when Le wan ts 8 wife, simply knocks down with a club the maiden onto whom he hez fixed his love. This is token of his sooperi- oritg. Elf she survives, she rises and i'm meJitly goes out and picks up dry wood, dres ses the game in his lodge, cooks his dinner, wich the guishin child uv nachur eats, and immejitly goes the nearest set tlament and gifts ez drunk ez lord; wich pl 'actice is continyood every day till death d. 'th them part. She dresses the game, ta ns the skins uv the buffalo he kills, cul- tivates the corn, and in short, does the wt Tk uv life !; wich gives her master the til 1e necessary to his mental and moral i'm provement.
 An with all our boasted civilizashen, We kin yit learn suthin from the noble red man Ef such customs prevailed among us, l wood hev me a wife to wunst, but rather than be coerced ez the married men uv the Corners, I will remain single for ever. Eff I cood find woman willin to work for me it wood anser, but what can borrer barely supplies my appetite, and J don't Ike CT to further burdin my capassity.
 No man can support Bascom and fam fly at the same time He must give up one or the other Elf he hez appetite for Basct,m the wife must support herself and the children, and eff she's a lovin wife she will help her husband out with Bascom. Sich a wife cood cling to, but no other.
 PETROLEUM V. MASSEY,
 (Philosopher.)
 It is reported that an effort is to be