The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-16
ApIsAsTRoUs DINNER.

taSnl0neQ Gunner. Mr. Mitlduu ANU
his wife, good ''folks," pretty well ad-
vanced, in years, had been for weeks
thinking about the dinner they were
to give their neighbors. Pauline
Mitland, beautiful girl, was nearing
the age of eighteen, and it was in rec
IGNITION of Der birthday that the feast
was to be spread.
Everything must be as nice as
pie. mother" said the old man. 81
do hate to see dinner that don't 60
of all right"
Don't you fear" replied the wife.
Il know what a dinner is. Let's see,
we want the Mays and the Pollards
and the Haphreys-"
"And We want old Anderson Drum
ley" interrupted the old man.
"Who, that big-footed old fellow ?"
asked Pauline.
"You should not speak so" said
the mother chidingly. "Brotber
Drumley is a good old man. and
stands high in the church. Be ashamed
of yourself, my daughter"
"Oh, he's SO awkward, NAV.
''Shet your mouth. If he don't
come, nobody shall come, now you
got it"
Old man Mitland grinned. He
had full confidence in his wife's au-
thority, and as he expressed it, when
she spoke is was the word with the
"bark on"
The day arrived. The neighbors
brought their children. They came
long before the dinner hour and while
engaged in delightful gossip, ratified
their knitting needles. The savory
odor of baked turkey, roasted pig and
fried chicken pervaded the house.
Old man Drumley was promptly on
hand. A powerful man with pow
erful appetite. No one had ever
heard him complain of eating too
much; no one ever heard him say
that he had enough. He always ate
just as long as the company would
wait for him. If digestion like his
could be rented, it would be in con-
slant demand.
When all the chairs were brought
into the dining room where the long
extended table was spread, it was
found that still one was Icking. This
necessitated the use of the kitchen
chair. Itis an unlucky fatality that
enforces such an exigency. There is
nothing more treacberous than the
kitchen chair of an old fashioned
family. It's him. legs are worn down
until the person who sits OH it must
exercise the incest precision to keep
from titlting over backward. Israel
Putnam once said that he would
rather attempt to ride goat than q
kitchen chair. This chair was thought
lessly placed at the plate designed for
old Brother Drumley. The old fellow
took bis seat In safety and compla-
Gently eyed boiled ham.
"Brother Drumles," said Mr. Nit
land, task a blessing"
Drumley bowed over dish of tur-
nip greens and asked the Lord to
make them all thankful for his many
blessings. The children began to
howl Tor bread, but the good old
brother, thinking that some return
was due the host, continued his petit
ton into personalities, asking a special
blessing for the charming young lady,
Miss Pauline. When he Strengthened
up, he leaned back. Over he went.
His feet struck the under side of the
table, and not knowing the cause of
his sudden back-set, be seized the
table in his fall. Then the whole
thing came over on a mass of bowling
children and angry women. 81 never
seed the like" said an old lady, in at
tempting to describe the catastrophe.
"Thar Vas lot of us on the floor, all
kivered with pine boards and viddults.
| managed to look up, and there was
Sallie Parker with dish of gravy on
her head. Angelina Ray had her lap
full of ca bbage, an all the other folks
whut sot on one side of the table was
tangled up in greens and stews of all
kinds. Old Brother Brumley swore
like deck hand, the pore old
creatur', but he couldn't help it.
Law me, all the women folks got mad
and the men folks cussed till you
never heard the like. / did feel sorry
fur Brother Eph Moore. The coffee
pot lit on him some whar and the lid
come off [ never seed SIGH scramb.
lin in my life. He managed to git |
out somehow, and the Lor' how he
did make break for the woods. It'll
was mighty unfortunate affair, fur
everything it were sot off 80 nice at |
fust an Sister Mitland she were so
proud, but law q massy wbut q r,uss