davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-03-08
HUMOROUS.

-Leap-year parties are popular in
some sections. At these gatherings the
girls yell s.mouser' and the young men
jump on chairs and shriek.-Detroit
Free Press.
"A country girl, coming from the
field, being told by her poetic cousin
that she looked as fresh as daisy
kissed with dew, said: swell it wasn't
any fellow of that name; but it was
Steve Jones that kissed me- I told him
that every one in town would find it
out. y" Chicago Tribune.
A poet sings: ''Let me die when all
is cold and drear" Now is an excel
len season for the purpose, and the man
who would interpose a single objection
should be severely talked to. II poet
wants TO die when all is cold and drear
and we are not surprised that he
should feel that wayne should be en-
couraged in his laudable purpose.-Br-
change.
Quite unsympathetic: Birdie Nc
Hennepin and her brother were at the
seashore: 20, see that!' exclaimed
Birdie. s'See what?n inquired the
stoical John. "Why, see that little
cloudlet just above the wavelet like a
tiny leafet dancing DER the scene"
30, come, you had better go out to the
pumplet in the backyardIet and soak
your little headlet. "-Bostos Tran
script.
"A servant girl in New Haven stole
her mistress false teeth. The woman
told a policeman that "She sheesh Gosh
shwenshy .shollarsh, ansh she shwash
wosh shusha Wresh ashdo skteesh fawshe
sheeth-' "Wait till I find an in
terpreter," interrupted the policeman,
thinking the woman was o newly az
rived Hungarian; but she was an Amer
lean, and when her teeth were in she
could talk the head off him. --Nea0 Ha-
zen Register.
PA said the daughter of the
house to the man of the house the other
evening, What are we going to have
for beakfast?' 81 have ordered Lyon
naise tripe, my child, "aWas the fathers
answer. ''And where does that come
from, pa? Does it come from an ami
NAL, or does it grow?" 1T is taken
from an animal. my dear" ''Oh, I
know, them after q pause to think up
her natural history then it is taken
from lionesses, isn't it, pa?" Pa was
weak enough to say Eyes. n-Lou0eH
Citizen.
"A great, big, burly fellow stepped
into the editorial rooms of one of our
morning contemporaries yesterday and
said: 'sIwant to clean out this Office"
'sWha-What's the trouble noW?'
feebly asked the editor-in-chief, turn
ing CHASTITY pale. ''Nothing's the
trouble. / will clean out the Office and
scrub down the stairs for one dollar
Then the EDITORS face resumed its
natural color, and splitting half way
across the room, he shouted: sect out
Of here, You tramp, or ! viii spill you
head first into the waste basket. -
Philadelphia CGH.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-03-08
Under Higgledypiggledy lie found:

Under Higgledypiggledy lie found:
Two oranges, ten cents,
Two bananas eight cents.
Candy dog, five cents,
Three chocolate rats, fifteen cents.
A gingerbread man. one cent.
A gingerbread elephant, two cents.
lce-cream. thirty cents.
Three red apples, three cents.
Under Charity, which was written in
the second account-book, he read
Gave my old shoes with a hole in ems to
Betsey Ann Bakers Tom.
To the heather. seven cents
Papa took his pencil and wrote under
the last entry:
lit is plain that my little Dodo loves
the idol best"
When Dora read what her father had
written, she was ashamed. She resolved
to be very, very, Very careful, and never
let old Higgledypiggledy get such an
advantage again.--lNrs. II. r. Butts, IN
YOUTHS Companion.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-03-08

To get rid of the smell of fresh
paint in chamber or living room, slice
a few onions and put them in the mid
die Of the room. After that it will be
desirable to get rid OF the smell Of the
onions. This can easily be done by
putting on another coat Of paint. Phil
GdetpbsG CAL.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-03-08
Our Young Reader
A CONTRAST.

a COLS l. 4Ed ~ As
"Oh, dear. and oh, dearyw
Cries Minnie Dundrearys
"The day is so dismal
II rains and it rain&d
TneUeT have pleasure,
In full perfect measure,
But keen disappointment
And trials and pains!
"I see it is raining!
Well, no use complaining,
The sunshine is OnletCIseTS!
Cries bIithe Maggie Joy.
+" I'll never be whining,
Nor think of repining,
But find the heart-sunsh1ne
That has no alloy.
"Oh, dear. and oh, deary!"
Cries Minnie Dundreary,
"HoW tiresome these lessons,
So hard and so long!
never can do them.
Nor even see through them,
It's no use to try them
They always go wrong!
"These lessons perplexing
Are certainly vexing,
But then ] will do themv
Cries brave Maggie Joy.
"There's no use in signing,
I'll just keep on trying;
And conquer, it every
Power | emptoyF
"Oh, dear, and oh, deary!"
Cries Minnie Dundreary,
That troublesome baby,
To watch and to tend!
I'd rather be riding,
Or running or sliding,
And having some fun,
With gay, merry friend
"Oh, yes, dearest mother;
Ny sweet little brother
Igladly will care for"
Cries sweet Maggie Joy.
'sAlthough tbs some trouble,
The fun will be double,
For merry and happy
Is dear Willie boy!'
Thus, ever complaining,
If sunny or raining,
Poor Minnie finds ever
Something to annoy;
While joyous and merry,
Light-hearted and CHEEKY,
a fount of pure sunshine
Is loved Maggie Joy.
-MstG b. B. Jh0rfIs, an Golden OGyS
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-03-08
MISSING DOCUMENTS.

important Documents Bearing Upon the
Charges Against Governor Murray of
Utah Nysteriously HIissins-Somebody to
Get Warmed.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-03-08
A SHOCKING FATE.

Your Boys Launched Into Eternity by the
Explosion of a Magazine Containing sig
Tons of Giant POwder-Two of Them
literally Blown to Atoms.
St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-03-08

The Inevitable Result of the Continued
Expectation of Gold Coin and the Hoard
ing of the Precious Metal by Bankers-It
aEiu become a Speculative Commodity
hpaSn
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05
A FOREIGN MURDER.
An Atrocious Murder in ItaIy---The
Bodies Thrown Into a Sewer.

LONDON, December 26.-An atrocious
double murder is reported from TIA
The victims were one Aladio, the keeper
of newspaper stall in the Piazza Colon
na at Rome, and his mistress, a woman
named Mont. They had hoard of about
$4,000, which represented the savings
of several years, and they were per-
suaded by an acquaintance named Lam
ducci to intrust it to him for investment
in match factory which he pretended
to own at Leghorn, and which he AS
sured them would return large profits.
The dividends failed to arrive, however,
and Aladio and Monti, suspect
ing that they had been duped, went
to Leghorn to demand an account
ing from Linducci. They soon found
the swindler, and had stormy inter
view with him. Subsequently he de-
coyed them into his house by promise
of returning a portion of the money.
and it is alleged that he assassinated
them and disposed of the re-
mains by putting them in sew
er. The corpses were discovered
to-day by the police, but Landucci had
already made his escape from the city
and probably from the country. The
theory is that he took passage on some
one of the vessels which sailed from
Leghorn, and the police in various sea-
ports have been requested to keep a
lookout for him.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05
Fossil Monsters.

From the st. Louis Republican
The Academy of Science held their
regular meeting last night at Washing
ton University, DR.. Engelmann, presi-
dent, in the chair. Mr.. McAdams, of
Alton, Ill.,, was introduced. He read an
interesting paper on the subject: "The
Fossil Animals of the Loess or Drift
Clays." The "loess is the upper
member of the deposits of the great
glacial or ice period, when large por-
tim of the country was covered with
clay mixed with sand, gravel, and bould-
ers. The loess attains a thickness in
some places of one hundred feet along
! the banks of the Mississippi River. 1t
is rich in animal remains. These in
clude the teeth of the extinct mammoth
elephant and extinct deer, beaver. OK,
and various smaller animals. Some Of
the elephants teeth weighed twenty
pounds, and all of the fossil teeth showed
by their size that the animals which pos
sessed them must have been of huge
proportions compared with those ami
mails now in existence.
A giant beavers skull was exhibited
that was of monstrous size, the incisor
teeth being eleven inches long and an
inch in diameter; the teeth OF two
new species of deer that must have been
taller tban horse. Large animals with
teeth like gophers were common with
giant oxen and other strange beasts with
unpronounceable names. Mr.. McAdams
has the only collection of these interest
| ing fossils that has yet been found. The
academy sat until late hour looking at
the fossils and asking questions. In his
researches 10 evidence of human re-
mains had been discovered In the drift,
clay, or glacial period. The interestia G
paper will be published by the society,
with the curious fossils fully illustrated.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05
A Story of Sheridan.
[From the Washington Post !

|
Said one of General Sheridan's friends
to the Post reporter: "The general is
one of the few public men about whom
only one or two anecdotes can be related.
His modest bearing and general desire
to escape notoriety is probably the cause.
He abhors display and ceremony, par
ticularly when he isindividually concern
ed"
"Can You recall any incident of that
character?"
eyes. Once during the war, after
hard fighting in the south, General
Sheridan obtained leave of absence and
went to visit his old mother in Ohio.
The fact of his proposed visit to his ma
tive heath stirred up those along the
way whose enthusiasm had been latent
while their hero had been in danger.
They prepared him a royal reception.
The rich and poor and men and women
of every pursuit turned out and assem-
bled at the point where the soldier was
to be received. One of the trains ran
into the depot, and a shout went up
from the crowd. The latter, observing
richly dressed soldier alight, seized
him, and the hurahs for Sheridan were
deafening. The bands played and guns
were fired. The soldier was conducted
to a coach, and the reception committee
was crushed by the populace. As the
conveyance was about to move a man in
the crowd discovered that the soldier was
not the intended to -honored great
General Phil. Sheridan, but his brother,
Colonel Mike Sheridan. The latter had
good-naturedly submitted to the in
undation of welcome, and when the mis-
take was discovered seemed as much con-
tentedas the crowd appeared to be sold
The next train brought the right man.
The excitement then was not so intense,
General Sheridan was allowed TO pro-
ceed to his coach, escorted by the COM
mittee. When he had entered it General
Sheridan said TO the committee:
Gentlemen, with your permis-
sion / will ride with the driver. IN order
to ~eeape being overwhelmed by that
fH to DO fo ft the astonisShmssehnf IT of the
The general on the road lighted cigar,
and by mistake put the lighted end in
his mouth. He WINGED and shook his
head. The iehu smiled, and after turn
ing a corner remarked TO the general:
From tire fuss that they was maxim
about We, Oh never tort yees' was afraid
of little foire loike that The misfor-
tunes of greatness are many, but as re-
marked in the first place, they never
get the best of Phil Sheridan if he can
avoid them"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05
CRIMINAI..

On the 2Sth 1t was learned that S. c. Blod-
gett, ex-treasurer of the Providence (R. l. } In
stitution for Savings, had embezzled about
500, ono and skipped to Canada
On the 9th d. P. Reynolds, Of New York,
called at the house OF James Budd, Dorches-
ter, Masa., and saying "I have come for your
life or property" fired two bullets into Budd,
whose wounds viii prove fatal.
WM Fox was hanged at Nevada, No., on the
2Sth. for murder committed last May. Ten
thousand people witnessed the execution.
OK the 9th Rev. John Ritter, of Decatur,
ILL.,, because Of ill-health, suicided by taking
poison.
AT Beverly, W. Va, on the Goth, the mail
carrier discovered that the house of Elizabeth
Somerfeld had been burned. In the ruins
were found the bodies of Mrs. Somerfield and
her two daughters. Marks on the skulls indi-
cate murder aud arson.
On the 26th, beer-keg full of powder was
placed near the entrance of the capitol. Frsnk-
fort. Kentucky, and exploded. The building
was considerably damaged.
THE body of VIM. Ii. Kirk was found on the
27tb near Cummingsville, O. Marks Of vio-
ience point to mysterious murder.
On the 25th, Ida Lewis, a beautiful octoroon,
of Morehouse Parish, La. was given poison
- Il
man named Rowell. whose suit Ida rejected.
A STREET fight occurred at Allendale, s. c.,
on the 25th, in which two persons were killed
and five wounded.
On the 22d Halver Olson was fatally beaten
by Ole J. Melaas near Stoughton, Wis.
On the 23d, at st. Louis, No., D. c. Gibson
shot and killed his son-in-law John Burlington
and Arthur Milholland and then suicided.
AT McDsde. Tex, on the oath, Henry Pffer.
Wright McLemore and Thad McLemore were
taken from saloon by an armed mob and
hanged to tree. They were accused Of rob-
berry. After the hanging friends of the victims
met some of the iynchers and in the fight Jack
and Asa Bayley were killed.
In a var of races at Yazoo City, Miss, on
the oath, John and Carnot Posey and Jasper
McHall, white, were riddled with buclshot
GEORGE SLoCUM, a farmer near JauesvilIe,
Wis, after qusrreling with his wife on the 22d,
suicided by shooting.
OK the 23d, at Warrior. Ala, Bob Younger.
one of the Jesse James gang, was arrested. He
Will be taken to Missouri to answer for his
crimes.
The negro big Ike" who shot Ex-Governor
Hunts son at Denver, Colorado, recently. was
captured on the 2lst near Gunuison, Colo
When discovered he jumped down 40-foot
precipice and sustained fatal injuries. Before
he died he implicated four respected citizens
of Durango, in the attempt to rob that bank
A FEUD between two men named Scanlan and
Sullivan, respectively, terminated at Salt Lake
City on the 23d. Sullivan shooting Seaman.
FIVE prisoners escaped from the Des Moines,
Ia, Jail on the 23d.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05
A Doubtful Educator.
IFrom the Philadelphia CALL

FROM the Pnladelpnla CaH
An old farmer in New jersey, better
known as New Spain, was recently
elected school commissioner.
The new applicant for the position
made favorable impression on the old
gentleman and became duly installed as
teacher
At the close of the first weeks school,
under the new head, the old man was
making a critical examination of COM
position which had been read by his
daughter, when he came across the word
mosquito.
"What does that word mean ?" he
demanded of bis daughter.
Mosquito? ?" she said. Why, you
know what mosquito means"
"Skeeter, and is that what it is ?''
shouted the old farmer. "Wen, you
don't go to that school no more. won't
have no dsrter of mine teached by alan
ghG spells skeetar With az m,"
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05

is always an accident when you get
caught. You're a nice-looking' man to
be going around lifting gsuspenders, amt
you? It's Jest such well-dressed old
reprobates as you that do all the mis-
chief. But you can't soft-soap me with
your beg pardons, now, and / can tell
you; for I've seen you before"
"Seen me before!' gasped the minis
ter. looking around upon the gaping
crowd with apprehensive annoyance.
g Yes, sir, I've seen you before and 1
know you of old; and if your face amt
stuck up in every rogue's gallery, L amt
talking. But you struck snag when
you struck me, now, by thunderl"
/" But my dear sir
"Oh, go long" said the man with
the suspenders, sternly. "You amt
going to give me any of your taffy, now
don't you forget it. You jest go right
along and keep your mouth shut-and
you fellers keep your eyes on your
pocket-books while he's around. If [
weren't in such hurry I'd run him in,
dashed if I wouldn'tw And the man
with the suspenders, giving the minister
a last withering look, passed on, swelling
with the triumph of righteous victory
over wickedness
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05

BRIG. GEN. ANDREW A. HUMPHREYS, Z. s.
A., died on the 29th at Washington, d. c.
A GIRL about ten years of age was found on
the doorstep of the house of Timothy Little
field, of Lima, Wis, on the ODD. She refused
to state where she came from or her name: she
was made comforta BILE and is staying there.
THE Milwaukee, Wis, street cars are !eated.
The Ohio liquor men, in convention It Co
lumbus. o., on the 23th, passed resolution
demanding the repeal of the Scott license law.
H. E. MANN, dry goods, st. Paul, Mimi,
failed on the 28th. Liabilities $4,000.
Or the 2Sth there was found by John Frank,
at the base of tree blown down by storm,
near Atlants, Ga, gold and jewels valued at
$3.50, 900. Il IS supposed TO be part of that
lost by the fleeing confederate cabinet.
WRIGHT, GILLIEs d Bro, coffee, tea and
spice, New York City, failed ON the 28th, Liza
bilities 1925 600.
JEFFERDs, BAILY & Co., lounge and table
manufacturers. jamestown. n. Y, failed on
the 9th. Liabilities 100000.
C. a. CoUrANr & Co., dealers in fancy goods,
Chicago, ILL.,, failed on the 9th. Liabilities
100000.
By the will of George o. Clark, his estate.
valued at $500, ,OO0 is left In trust for the bene-
fit of his family, and after the death of all his
RICHARD BARRETT, of Cleveland, o., was no.
tilted on the Goth that he is heir to his sisters
estate on the coast of Waterford, Ireland,
valued at $40, coo.
Oh the 26th a cave was discovered near Car
rollton, Mo-, which from appearances has been
used by gang of cou nterfeiters.
On the 3d. at Morish, n. Y, Mrs. Martha
Slaves suddenly died in church while the con-
gregation was singing.
]. d B. LAMBERT, dry goods, Huntsville,
Ala. failed on the Goth. Liabilities $4,000.
GEN. MCKENZIE, commander of the military
department of Texas, was relieved on account
of severe nervous prostration. Gen. Schofeld
takes charge.
A CRUSADE in Lawrence Kas., resulted in the
closing of all saloons on the 26th and not
drop of intoxicating liquor can be obtained in
that town.
AMOS P, SMITH & Co., cotton goods manu-
facturers. Providence, r. l.. failed on the 26th.
Liabilities 81, 100000.
OK the oath salutes were fired at the various
, ports and military posts in the United States
in observance of the Tooth anniversary of the
surrender by Washington of his commission as
| commander-ln-chief of the army.
! BARBER at New Haven, CT, on the oath.
| received as Christmas gift, notification of the
! death of relative in Germany who be-
| queathed him S87,0G0
| OK the oath Lamborn & Gray bankers, Al
lance, O., assigned. Liabilities $500, COO
COLD weather struck New York and other
eastern points on the 23d. The thermometer
at Utica, n. Y, was % below zero, and at Bos-
ton, Mass, and other places, from 1S to 80 be-
/ low.
| On the 22d, Miles III. O'Brien, of New York
CITY, was elected president of the Irish Con-
| federation"
Snow to the depth of 20 inches at Cincinnati.
| o., was on the 23d pretty thoroughly saturated
| by rain storm lasting all oay. Considerable
damage was done by streets being washed,
| oofs of houses crushed. etc.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05
SPORTING.

The name Of the PAGER Johnston, 2:10,
has been changed to Midway.
AL. McKINNoN, the first basemau of
the Philadelphias, has signed with the
New York league club.
CAPT. G. W. HOWARD. of the Charles
town, Mass, Bicycle Club, has ridden
1886 miles since March 1st.
PARTRIDGE, the heavy hitting first base
man of the Dartmouth College nine, has
igned with the New York League nine.
TEEndER practices daily with 200.
pound rowing machine, which he has
improvised, and also takes 10-mile
walk every day.
In the billiard contest at Lyons,
France, between GARNER and DAILY, the
former won. Total score for five nights
GARNER, 5000; DAILY, 1870.
The Providence uine will report for
practice in Richmond, Va, April 1st.
Games have been arranged In Rich
mond, April Sd, 4th, 9Th; Washington,
7th, 8th, 9th; Baltimore, 10th, 18th,
18th.
HEALEY, recently signed by Harry
Wright to pitch for the Philadelphia
club, is the same individual who oc-
cupied the points for the Indianapolis
club in 1873 with the Only Nolan after
McCormick's arm gave out
THE terms of the match with George
Bubear, of Putney, arranged by W.
Spencer on behalf of Wallace Ross, are
ofqqllaB2YAo on Narc6 10Th next, tift6nfeS f6f SsotO TO
side, Ross to be allowed Sl25 for ex-
penses.
THE four American Derbys, says the
American Field, have been won by Mr..
d. G. Sanborp, of Dowling, Mich. and
Mr.. W. B. Gates, of Memphis, Tenn
Mr.. Sanborn won the Derby Of 1880 and
1881, and Mr.. Gates won the Derby of
1882 and this year.
A SERIES of matches have been ar
ranged for the Australian cricket team
which will visit England next summer.
The first match of the tour will be against
Oxford University on May 18th. The
contests with Cambridge University will
be played June 10th and August 25th.
Other games will be played at Man
chester, Sheffield, Nottingham, Scar
borough and Middlesex.
JACOB SCHARFER and M. VignauX,
with their representatives, met in Paris
on the 18th and arranged their second
match. 1t was agreed that the games
should last five nights, beginning on
January 10, 1884, to be played on 5x1C
feet American table. The conditions
will be the same as those of the previous
contest, except that instead Of playing
the champions game they will play the
cushion caroms.
W. NJ. WooDsIDE, champion of Ire
land, attempted on the 18th to beat the
best-filtv mile record @ hours, SO min
utes) OF John S. Prince, of Boston, using
the gallery of the Chicago exposition as 8
track, ard scoring twenty five miles IL l
hour 26 minutes and seconds, thereby
beating the best previous record by ten
seconds, After he had ridden thirty-fve
miles Woodside complained of cramps
| and cold, and withdrew from the race.
At o'clock n. II. Van Sicklen, E.
Mehring, and G.. Mehring started to
race twenty-five miles, but as the
weather was so cold the time was moi
very fast. Van Sicklen finished first,
in 1:37:45; Ernest Mehring second
1:37:48; George Mehring third, l 1:38:03
Frank Yates acted as referee and guar
antees the correctness of the time anG
| measurement.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05

ing the controversies which preceded
the Irish Church disestablishment act as
a great champion of that measure, and
has also materially aided the present
government in the land reforms which
have been accomplished in Ireland.
Many years ago, Sir Edward Sullivan
made himself conspicuous as counsel
for the prosecutrix in the Yelverton
case, which, it is said, was carried to
successful conclusion before the house
of lords mainly through his efforts. He
is North of Ireland man, and the son
of Belfast Unitarian minister. His
rapid promotion from solicitor general
t oattorney general, master of the rolls,
and finally to the Office of lord chancel-
lor, is exceptional.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-01-05
BlunGers of the Absent Minded.
From All the Year Rou ld.l

Absent-miuded people make queer
blunders. Rev. Jonathan Edwards, the
great New England preacher who died
of small pox, when out riding asked
small boy Who bowed as he opened a
gate for him: "Whose boy are YOU.
my little man? % "Noah Clark's boy,
sir" was the reply. When he returned
the same boy appeared and opened the
gate. "Whose boy are you ?" asked
Edwards. "Noah Clark's, slr. The
same mans boy L was quarter of an
hour ago, SIR" The first Lord Lyttle-
ton was terribly absent-minded. He
fell into the river once and sank twice
before he remembered he could swim,
thus coming near committing the eyre
gious blunder of drowning. A clergy
man was walking one day in the country in
deep thought. He was 30 accustomed
to riding that when he reached the toll
gate he cried out:
"Here, what's to pay?"
Pay for what?" said the gate
keeper.
my horse" replied the preacher.
"What horse? You've got no
horse"
"Bless me" looking dcwn to his legs,
SCI thought / was on horseback"