Morning journal and courier., 1884-09-11
All !!

"Ah!" he remarked with unction, as he placed the glass the counter, ''What is i better than glass of beer to quench ones ! thirsta" 'ETwo glasses, mister, said tramp at the door.-Mail and Express. But she'll make good sailor yet He Gan anchor" She Ia beginner)-stServe them right! It has been hanging over the side all | day long ''-Exchange. 1 A circus clown who died in Chicago re- gently spoke all the modern European lan- guages fiuently, but died poor. The people who attend circuses don't care much for the modern languages. What they want is modern joke now and then.-Norristow Herald.
 "Oh, mamma! such nice young man has been making love to me at the picnic to-day! l He is just handsome as he can be, and graduate of a musical college too.'' "What musical college, child?' '|Why, let me sec he told me. Oh, yes-Sing Sing. Bur 1ington Free Press
 Have you been good boy all this weeks' smilingly asked a Sunday school teacher. ''Yes, mum, been good every day. replied the boy. ''That's right; always be good; now tell me what made you good; can you tell me that?' fEYes, mum. Pap said if ! was good boy all the week he'd take me to | Coney Island and ride me on the whirligig 1 after Sunday school to-day y."-Brooklyn l Times.
 q would like to take one of Baft's works" l remarked lady to the custodian of a circu- | lating library. ffBart? I am not familiar with the author. 1 do not think that we have any of his works in our library" FfOhl yes, indeed you have. I have seen the name titles of any of his works!''. 'sYes, I remem- l Der one" ''And that wasp tsThat was The Last Days of Pompeii, by E. Bulwer Lytton, Bart. "-BostonNGlobe And old German down in Ohio, who runs a cooper shop, was elected overseer of high ways for his township last spring. After waiting for month or two for something | board of supervisors and said: s1 vhas come to see aboudt bond. D Bond? What bond?' ''Vhell, I like to gif bond for one tou- l sand dollar dot doant run off init some money from de township" tfOh, as to that, you won't have any pub I lie moneys in your hands," "Vhell, den like to gif bond dot doan't shteal som epodys COW while l vhas in office. vhas elected only six weeks in office, but I pegin to feel like I wanted to shteal 8 whole drove of cattlei" He was allowed to give bond, and went I home satisfed.-Wall Street News. THE woMENs CANDIDATE. It is time, it is time for the women to rule The nation, as well as the home and the school, Regardless of reckless and rude ridicule! TheJashould fight For the right Ignoring the fact that mans like mule
 Three cheers for their candidate, Belva, the
 bold!
 She's brave and she's gallant and better than A model womanhood fair to behold; Though in truth,
 She's youth,
 She's one of the kind that will never grow old
 Oh, soon may she sit in the Presidents chair,
 Her rich robes resplendent with most rare, And diamonds decking her dark, wavy hair!
 Such sight
 Would delight
 All the world and would make the monarchies
 stare.
 Now, women, all work for your queen with a
 vim
 Unheeding the seof1ng of each little him;
 For soon all his glory and fame will grow dim
 If you're bold
 You'n behold
 A precious, pert President, pretty and prim New York Journal.