Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-10
BRIGHT Bits.

THE unkindest cut of all: The alleged pic
ture of a candidate IN country newspaper
". Y. Journal.
WHEN Chicago girl is chasing chickens her
'shoOm isn't BIT bigger than that OF any Other
woman.-Nea0 York Journal.
In a Paris restaurant: 81 say, sir, you are
CARRYING off a silver sugar bowl" "Oh! a
thousand pardOns; thought 1t was my nat!
lie Figaro.
CANOEIsTs are cautioned not to attempt to
cross the bows of United States war vessels
Our navy may be needed some DAY 70 scare
away mOsquitoes.-Nelo York Journal.
BRooKLYN boasts of a man who talks in
eight different languages; but wen wager a
months wages that his wife, who can only
prattle in one language. always gets the last
couple of hundred wOrds.-I0nherS States
man.
ARTIST FRIEND pointing to sketch Say,
Harry, where did you get bhlsE. Harry
"Why, l got that out of my head" FRIEND
| ''Weil, it's lucky thing for your head that
you got it Out."-HGrpeT's Bdsdr.
VISITOR TO NANTUcKET-"FOr goodness
sake tell me what you do here IN the winter
Native--"0h, we get on pretty well. we go
to bed at sunset and sleep the next day TIL
| noon; then we get up and pray for night to
| come, that we may go to bed again. "-Boston
| Transcript.
FROM PARIS: ''she is as old as her husband,
but she cOnceals the dreadful fact. She said {,
| one day: My husband is 40. There IS usl
| two wears difference between my Lush md
and myself And the friend was mean
enough to reply: is it possibleY Why, L de-
| clare you look as young as he Is
WITHOUT dom anything ter deserb it, de
| owl had gained de name o. beln wise. DIS Is
| lust because he's got er big head an er mOuf
| dat amt allus open. 1t amt sense, dough,
| dat keeps de OWLS mOuf shet, for when ne DO
| open it he kahn say nOthin'. De tongue dat
| is KEEP still on account o. sense say somethln'
| smart when it do speak.-Ar6dRSas ITdoefer'
"HAs he gone, dear?" "Yes, grandma"
"And what was that sound in the hall, ges-
| sie?" ''Why, it must have been the door
shutting. grandma" ''Your grandma may
| be old and deaf. Jessie, but doors did not shut
with a sound like that when she was a girl; "
"Dids the men wear mustaches then, grand
| MAJ" mo, my dear" swell, that makes
the difference probably -Pitts6Urg CAro"tctS
| Telegraph.
| MRS. A.-"Did the contractor say how long
| it would be before our new cottage IS nm
| ished?" Mr.. At won't take long. III Is
% 70 G9 oiG Balloon Ga frame" Mercy me
| What is to keep it from sailing away IN the
| first storm?'' ''DOn't worry. it will be heavily
| weighted" "Heavly weighted! why, what
with?" "a mortgage. Philadelphia Cdtt.
BoARDER at head of table, as slice Of wa
| termelOn is placed before MN Tor dessert I:
Mrs BOggs, may | ask you question:
.sCertainlv. sir" ''May | ask you If there is
any difference between the price of a green
l anu u ripe WdltIAiCLOAF A Nos % t'SN''
per cent SIN favor of the green, IpresumeY'
| Eyes, sir" "And thats-Jhats-" ''Thar5
why l buy the green ones."-DetrotE Free
| Press.
| CUsTOMER-''See here, sir; think it is an
outrage to charge 10 cents glass for soda
water. when you know it doesn't cost .
cents" Drug clerk-''But you shonld remem-
| Der that" CustOmer-"Oh, yes; have no
| doubt you can scrape up some KIND OF an argu-
ment in your defense, but l wonder that the
great power Of the law is not brought to bear
| on you. What do those in authority do When
| they come here and see this outraget" Drug
| clerk-''They wink at It,"
THE guests at the clearinghouse of the
Widow Flapjack. Austin avenue, still con-
| tinue to gTumble at their fate. Yesterday
morning Gilhooly said at the breakfast table
| to Mrs Flapjack: 81 noticed that you have a
vicious looking dog in the yard. Does he
bite?n "Indeed he does" "Willyou be kind
enough to give him this piece of tenderloln
beefsteak. with my compliments. ia IKE
very much to see him bite it, If you have no
| obit elton. "-Tegds SttiHgs.
| SWEETEST AND NEATEsT-TuE OYSTER.
of all the piscatOrial tribe
Thou art the best and sweetest!
No fin, nor scale, nor bo1y tan
Doth mar thy claim as neatest.
I've welcomed thee in every shape
In tempting stew, or luscious fry,
| And Dbtris HGturGtibas,
A balm to many a smitten eye.
You've been a friend both tried and true.
/ doubted thee once only;
Twas at a church fair years ago,
You looked so awful lonely.
-Nea0 York J0UrnC2.