, 1884-03-11
THE BOX TUNNEL.
Charles Heade.l

The 10:45 train glided from P~addington
May Z, ls47. In the left compartment OF a
certain first-class carriage were four passen-
gers; OF these, two were worth description.
The lady had a smooth, white, delicate
brow, strongly marked eyebrows. long lashes,
eyes that seemed to changed c%olors, and a
good-sized, delicious mouth. with teeth as
white as milk A man could not see her nose
for her eyes and mouth; her own sex could
and would have told us some nonsense about
1t. She wore an unpretending grayish dress,
buttoned to the throat, with lozenge-shaped
buttons, and n Scottish shawl that agreeably
evaded color. She was like a duck, so tight
her plain feathers fitted her, and there she sat,
smooth. snug, and delicious, with her book
in her hand and a soupcon Of her wrist just
visible as she held it.
Her opposite neighbor was what / call q
good style Of n man-the more to his credit,
since he belonged to a corporation that fire.
quently turns out the worst imaginable sly le
OF young men. He was a cavalry officer,
aged %. He had a mustache, but not u very
repulsive one; not one Of those mbnasal pig
tails on which soup Is suspended like dew on
a shrub; 1t was short, thick and black as
coal. His teeth had not yet been turned by
tobacco smoke to the color of juice, his
clothes did not stick 10 nor hang on him; he
had an engaging smile, and what l liked the
dog for, his vanity, which was inordinate,
was in the proper place, his heart, not in his
face, jostling mine and other peoples who
have none-in one word, he was what one
oftener hears OF than meets-a young gentle
man.
He was conversing in an animated whisper
with a companion, a fellow officer; they
were talking about what it is far better not
to-woman. Our friend, clearly, did not
wish 70 be overheard; for he cast ever and
anon a furtive glance at his fair vis-a-vis
and lowered his voice. She seemed com
pletely absorbed in her book and that reas-
sured him.
At last the two soldiers came down to a
whisper (the truth must be told, the man
who got down at Slough and was lost to
posterity bet Rl0 to e3 that he who was GO
ing down with US to Bath, and immortality,
would not kiss either of the ladies opposite
upon the road.
@Done, doneI"
Now, l am sorry n man I AVE hitherto
praised should have lent himself, even In a
whisper, to such a speculation; 1but nobody
is wise at all hours" not even when the
clock is striking five and twenty; and you
are to consider his profession, his good looks,
and the temptation-ten to three.
After Slough the party was reduced to
three; at Twyford one lady dropped her
handkerchief; Capt. Dolignnn fell on 1t like a
lamb. Two or three words were in~terchanged
en- this occasion.
At Reading the Marlborough of our tale
made one of the safe Investments of that day
he bought y Times and Punch, the latter
full of steel pen thrusts and wood cuts. Valor
and beauty deigned to laugh at some in
hamed humbug or other punctured by Puck.
Now. laughing thaws our human ice; long
before Swindon it was a talking match-at
Swindon who 30 devoted as Capt. Dolignanl
he handed them out-he souped them-he
tough-chickened them-he branded and
cochinealed one, and he branded and burnt
sugared the other. On their return to the
carriage one lady passed into the inner com
partment to inspect a certain gentlemnn's
seat on thai side of the line.
Reader. had 1t been you or /, the beauty
would have been the deserter; the average
one would have stayed with us till all was
blue, ourselves included. Not more surely
does our slice OF bread and butter, when it
escapes from our hand, revolve it ever so
often, alight face downward upon the CARPET.
But this was a bit OF fop, Adonis-dragon-so
Venus remained in tete-a-tete with him. You
have seen a dog meet an unknown female
of his species, how handsome. how empresse,
how expressive he becomes; such was Dolig-
nan after Swindon, and, to do the dog JUS
tce, he got hnndsomer and handsomer. And
you have seen a cat conscious OF approaching
cream-such was Miss Haythorn; she be-
came demurrer and demurrer. Presently our
captain looked out of the window and
laughed. This elected an inquiring look from
Miss Hawthorn.
w are only a mile from the box tunnel
Dog you always laugh a mile from the box
tunnelr said the lady.
Invariably"
"What forf'
"Why-heml--it is a gentleman's Joke"
Capt Dolignan then recounted to Miss
Haythorn the following:
"A lady friend and her husband sat to
gether going through the box tunnel; thero
was one gentleman opposite; 1t was pitch
dark. After the tunnel the lady said:
George, how absurd of you to salute me
going through the tunnel L did no such
thing You didn'tf No; whyr Because,
somehow, thought you did" :
Here Capt Dolignan laughed and en-
deavored to lead his companions to laugh.
but 1t was not to DO dore. The train entered
the tunnel.
Miss H~aythorn-Ahi
Dolignan-What is the matter,
Miss Haythorn-I am frightened.
Dolignan pioving to her side)-Pray, do
not be alarmed; l am near you.
Miss Haythorn-You Gro near me-very
near me, indeed-Capt Dolisnan.
D~olignan-You know my namei
Miss Haythorn-I heard you mention it /
wish we were out Of this dark place.
D~oiignan-I could be content to spend
hours here reassuring you, my dear lady.
Dolignan-Pweepl Grave reader, do not
put your lips to the next pretty creature YOU
meet, or you will understand what this
meansl.
Miss Haythorn--Eei Eel
Friend-What is tho mattert
Miss Haythorn-oPen the door, Open the
doorl