The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-11-30
FACT AND FRIV0LITY.
us they anything the matter with
The ROSTERS lungs err voicel
Ort a mortal be compiainin' when
Dumh animals raioica2n


berts last Greeting" at Brignois funeral.
A young woman, who attempted suicide, said
she wished to die because 1.-THE world Is too
fussy."
Editors occasionally meet with appropriate
recognition. Boston heiress recently ran of
with one.
cold and stormy winter is predicted; thS
chances are good, therefore, for a delightfully."-
mild season.
Crosseyed coachmen bring the highest market
price in New York, as the neighbors' girls get al
the fond glances
Grover Cleveland has been hunting up his an
cestry. If he would look after his posterty il
would be more to the point
When the poet wrote Far from the maddns
crowds ignoble strife" he had undoubtedly JUST
survived a Democratic ratification
Garlic, it is said, will cure hydrophobia, but
the question arises whether the smell of garlic
is not rather worse than hydrophobia
That wicked opera, LA Traviata," has been
so thoroughly renovated and disinfected that
Emma Abbott has consented to sing in it.
High heels are reported to be no longer thu
proper caper, but girls who dance say it ia inn
possible to caper properly without them.
Blue eyes are said to be becoming scarce, and
their total disappearance is apprehended. A
melancholy outlook, as anybody can get black
eye.
Ella Wheeler is still manufacturing her low
necked and shortsleevedp poetry. She lately adver-
tised for somebody to come and kiss her eyelids
into sleep, but didn't mention what salary might
be expected.
The wheel-barrow- electionbet idiot Is now
trundiing cheerfully over the country. When
campaign occurs without the appearance of this
species of imbecile the end of time may be speedi,
ly apprehended
Silver latch-keys tied with tiny bows of satin
ribbon are the latest agony among the boys.
When an illuminated key hole has been invented
getting in late at night will not be the prosaiO
affair it used to be.
1t is authoritatively announced that heaven
will contain three women to every one man.
Old bachelor Crusty says it is pretty near that
way here, and he doesn't anything very
heavenly about it
A Chicago woman playfuly threw jar Of
mince meat at her husband and killed him.
The insinuation is abroad that if he had lived
until the pies were baked he would have died an
even more violent death.
1t is sweet comfort to those who have always
thought so to read that r. H. Stoddard says Of
Swinburne that 'he has written Moline that
fingers in the memory, and has uttered nothing
that resembles a thought"
When coffee can be made out of old peanut
shells roasted and ground, and toothsome mar
malade concocted from the playful banana skin,
the hope looms up that the old hoop-skirt may
yet be utilized as an edible
One of the most intense joys known to poetk
cal asprants is experienced when verses, which
were sent in arrayed in summer Clothes are
presented shivering to scofing public when
icicles are hanging on the pump.
Readers who have hitherto found their mems
tai pabulum in politics exclusively, can now
turn for comfort to the base ball column. 1t ia
so soothingly interesting to learn that Snatchy
Jones is to catch" Trotty Smith in next years
team
Sofa pillows filled with spikes of green pine
and hemlock, with pine bough aud appropriate
quotation embroidered on the scarlet covers, ara
among the attractive novelties These pillows
retain the delicious piney odor long time, and
are said to be hygienic.
The red headed girl is coming to the front at
her true valuation, tress of her hair carried in
the left breast pocket being reported pre-
ventive of cholera. 1t should DO stated, how
ever, that getting locks of hair from red-headed
girls exposes rash young men to worse diseases
than cholera
Volumes might be filed with the mistakes
and miseries of the near-sighted, that unhappy
class of beings who spend one-half their lives in
bestowing profound bows and gracious smiles
upon people they never laid eyes on, and the
loved, without any recognition whatever.
1t is gratifying to learn thatvigorous applause
at high. priced entertainments is pronounced
bad form" When man has paid six or eight
dollars for two seats, he has certainly paid for
right to sit quietly and enjoy himself, without
being required to split his three-dollar gloves.
and scuf out his tendollar shoes, besides
Newspapers all over the country have circu-
lated with great zeal the paragraph concerning
Miss Tucker, of Texas, who followed runaway
lover 3, 700 miles, and married him, but not one
of these papers has as yet, touched upon the
real gst of the incident 1t is not because the
girl had lover or that he ran away or that she Z
chased him, caught up with and matrimonialiy
lassoed him that the affair interests rejecting
people, but simply because the energetic girl re-
ioiced in the name of Tucker In past times the
Tucker family have had bad record in one re-
spect sole Dan Tucker" as all dancing people
will remember, was conspicuously notorious az
an old gentleman who invariably got Left
That his descendants have eliminated this pe
culiarity and now display such marked ability In
catching up with the objects of their ambition Is
interesting to all who are watching the progress
of our race. Long life to this nimble young
woman, and may her husband never live to re-
greet that he tuck her, rather that she tuck
him
Notwithstanding the multiplicity Of societies
and associations for the elevation and advance
ment of the gentler sex, the woman who carrier
her money tied up in corner of her pocket
handkerchief is not yet an extinct species, She
is seen in the steam cars; is sometimes met with
on the street cars; but shines forth in her great
est brilliancy when encountered at the stamp