The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-01-15
,Se,tse and Nopsense.

| Se'tSe ana W0itSeilSe.
Babies ate like Shakspeare's plays.
The last one is always The best.
Never Judge by appearances. A shah
by old coat may contain an editor.
1t isn't great ways to the end OF a
cats nose, but it's fur to the sud OF her
tail.
Three out OF every ave newspapers in
Michigan favor the restoration of capital
punishment.
Eighty OF the 325 members o! our
present national House OF Represeta-
tives are not lawyers.
| The use OF alligator leather. has be-
come go general that 1t causes the
slaughter. every year, of 5000, 900 pigs.
The man who has no baby misses
more than half the joy Of living, but his
eyes don't look 80 red in the moriing.
A chess player sat patiently behind a
balky horse and then cslmly observed
to the an NAL, "It's your mex move"
A Frenchman. is teaching q donkey to
talk. What we want in this country is
man who will teach donkeys not to
talk.
Il was only footing one OF your late
bills, remarked fond father to his
daughter, after kicking her sweet Will
liam out OF the front yard.
/ This was the very concise verdict OF q
}coroner:s jury in Idaho: 'sWe fiud that
the deceased came to his death by calling
Tom Waiting a liar.
| Woman suffrage has worked we'll in
Colorado. The red trimming on the
~omen's bonnets nicely match the vivid
color of the politicisns' noses.
| You can rent sealskin sacque in
Chicago for $40 season. THIS is
Icheaper than house rent. for Q woman
can live in sealskin sacque on the stree
all winter
| A Bath, N. T., man opened his mouth
80 wide that he dislocated his Jaw. This
is what comes Of sitting up late to hear
ones wife and another woman talk bon
net.
| In Salt Lake City the sidewalks are
twenty feet wide. This, probably, is to
permit mans widows to walk abreast
instead OF 10 couples when going to his
funeral.
"Why are there not more lady report.
ers ?" Well, We suppose it's because
they would tell all they knew before the
paper came out, and then no one would
want to read it.
"How to reform ballet women" was
the subject OF lecture by a Chicago
preacher. We believe that he decided
that cotton was the best, but sawdust or
bran the cheapest. ~.
The Boston Star says: "The bigger
newspaper is, the more bnstle there is,
about it." What it means is, the bigger
hustle is, the more newspapers there
lie about it. :
When St. Louis girl goes into a
shoe store with q sweetheart che winks
at the clerk and asks for .Langiry twos"
Then they take her into the back yard to
try them on.
Hand painting has got to be a pleas
ant amusement with the ladies. With
them it Is from one extreme to. another.
First it was face painting, and now it is
hand painting.
A young man iu South C,rolina, only
20 years of age. has been epgagei nine
teen times. 1t is seldom that youth
Of his age has been the hero OF 80 many
narrow escapes.
A Tioy man bears the imprint OF
horseshoe plainly and perfectly outlined
upon his hip. He does not think il
birthmark; be thinks it came from tool-
ing around mule.
A New York preacher wants to put
and end to Sunday night .uring. He
cant be blamed. About the time that
Sunday night courting comes to end the
mini TER gets bis fee.
"What is the worst thing about rich
es3 7" asked Sunday school teacher.
THAT they take unto themselves wings
and dy away" promptly replied the boy
at the foot OF the class.
SIS this what you call extracting teeth
without pain Z" Indignantly queried the
victim. "Yes," srrilingly answered the
dentlst. 81 never experience any during
these operations"
The christening of nm infant arch
duchess of Austria occurred lately. The
fact came by cable. The name OF the
royal infant will be sent over by steamer
as soon as the royal secretaries get i;
copied.
II We would have powerful minds We
must think; il we would have faithful
hearts We must love; il we would have
powerful muscles we must labor. These
include nearly all that Is of much value
in this life.
A Young man having asked a girl il
be might go home with her from slng-
ingclass and been refused, said: "Yon're
as full of airs as a mnsical-box." PER-
haps so" she retorted; "but il I am,
don't GO with crank"
Probably nothing In the world can
eqnal the looks OF the temperance hus-
band whose wife draws forth half. flied
whisky hottie from a remote corner of
the clothes closet when she is hunting
up his winter fannels.
Frederick Godfrey, OF Jersey City,
vas arrested for stealing a Shirt and
when asked why be CONNECTED the crime,
be said he was hungry. A man must be
on the very brink OF starvation before
he will eat shirt no matter how it may
be cooked.
In setting hen farmer made mis-
take and put number of porcelain eggs
under the fowl. She is doing the best !
she can, but her eyes have a far-away
gaze, and she looks like map who has
Just bitten of the end oil a cigar and
has no match.
One can sometimes promise too much.
A boy was on trial in Philadelphia the
other day on the charge OF disturbing
the services Of the Salvation army. "lu-
deed. sir" he pleaded to the court; "if
you let me go I'll never 60 near church
agaiu in my life.'
1t wac at the close Of the wedding