South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-03-14


Artificial babies have been invented
abroad sor the use Of ladies Who. when
travelling. wish to secure the sole use OF
compartment OF railway carsiags.
cccamon ,ravsliisg infanss. yielding in
serD''sent csies OF fear. and capable OF
Gessg put into shc pocket. los. second
class, crying not too loudly. bal lauen.
.sb'y aud hsappostably, 9os; third
class. sull squallSrs, With very piercing
and dissss sslas vsiee OF fivc cslavss, "a;
the same. arranged as ptompt repeater
60 So; dfsh class, frss quality, capable
OF continued squaiing. -eS. These ba,
sics can not oaly be &c, going in mo-
men, (ss JUDGED can mott living ones)
tnsthsy can also DC stopped a. quickly.
-hich trc nsturai ones cannot
A sick little cblli, 90 who.n his mo-
thcr had JUS. put = pouitice. was lying
in bed. He fo:fowsf eth his eye the
cleads thai sere play Ing hias-and.,eek
ia the heavens. Suddenly the moon
hz,fa'sappelred beh'nl nebulous mas.
.Leok.' esid the child, they have put
rcr,,iec on the moon =
Mother TO gcverat ssl Come, work
the children oat Of he room; my doctor
iscomins.' Little danahter-.Oh. man.
ma. lie, VA stay here. We want 10 -.
Mo,he--swcl,.' what do you want P
Little daush,es-'why. do you know.
pspa always says the doctor leads you
about bs the nose, ami We want to see
Lirn 10 II
Pailaaelphia Boy NY ma hiss got 8
gold watch, and big diamond pin. aud
new sca,skin sacque what cost S6Go
Chicago BOY Pooh! That's nothing.
My mas got new divorced
A little boy ia Yonkers, y. Y, was
discovered IN the act OF putting a piece
or mince pie into his mothers clock
lie said no wan,edito hear what kind of
noise clock made WHEN /, had the s,om-
acb-ache.
A lille child of Ku,lsad. VI, beconA.
ing weared with the quarreIing of two
younser children over a glass o; milk,
exclaimed: What's tho use OF fighting
forever over ths, milk ? There whole
cowfnl Ia the barn
COLONEL STRoEHER's LITTLE JoEe-
We heard good story, q few days
sgo, about Gen. Siegsl and Col. Suo,h.
er, better known As Porte Crayon.'-
AZ cne iilac dasiag !he var Gen. Crook
aaa si~ss. Slsgei we.e ordered to make
= campAssn against the Coufeierales.
TIER commands were sowe distance n
part. Zach bad cert ain wolk u DO, aud
then they we're 10 unite their icaccs at =
certain place. Gen. Crook reformed
his part well. defeating the Coafeie.
rates. and tearing W line of rsiiroaa.
On the other hand, Siegel was dsfests,,.
and had TO uasks hurried rreat over
pike roSd ani s.-5Sly escaping cap
isre- As Gen. Sieell vas riding aion-
$, the head OF hls column. he heard aa
explosion o. laughter aDorg his stan
behind pin. lie Turned &nd asked:
'Scbenilemsns. w ish i, 10, vau
laughs so ncoeh ?
y. us nothing, General. LIS oae OF
Colonel Siro,ters' iu;le jokcs.'
Vat isa dea dot choke ?
'h's nothing, General: nothing Al Sll.
us only some OF SiTothel's nonsense.
Ven deIe vas Something's 80 funny
IN aOs choke, would laugh : les,le
EyssilsI.
Gen. >iegel Insisted on kaowjSg uhA;
'3os 'eeile choke was. so bis chief Of
SAT- told bin. He ssid:
is nothing except Co. STROLLER
jos. asked little coaaadrum. He
wants TO know the difference between
Gen. Crooks eomnsad snd yonr soU-
usai lie ssys that Gee. CrOok venl
,eariRr NJ tho railroad snd yoa care
tearing dovn tho pike. That's al.
Nay be dot vas soOi choke, bu, 4,
don't stem fanny 60 ne At al. Colouel
STROLLER. Dc y0u hea- 60; f-TExas
STTTINGs,