The Florida agriculturist., 1884-08-13
Bill Matson's old Ram.
THE BOY HAD NOTHING TO DO BUT GET
STONE BRUISES on HIS HEELS.


"Did you ever have healthy and Wig
orous old ram push your coat tail up
against you kerchuck unexpectedly,
when you wasn't looking." inquired
Bill Matson, of Bliffkins, as the bar
tender placed two shippers on the table
in little back room at Schneider's gro
Gerry.
mo, Bill, l never did; but I've gone
a-courtin' a girl whose father wasn't
wilin', and l heard something four or
five times before got to the gate The
sensation prob bly, was bout the same. F"
"Was it, thought" exclaimed Bill in
a high and incredulous tone of voice
"When you say that you only show how
little you've travelled and how little fun
you've had in the world. For species
of excitement and thrilling sensations
that you can't get by fooling round a
mule or by buckin' the tiger, to say
nothing OF the novel and startling situa-
tions, give me an old ram that's got
grudge against somebody. I've been
there.''
Is there story in this, Bill?"
"a story? Yes, and moral, too"
let go of it,
''WelI, Blif, I'll do it, though it's
pretty rough on Bill. Yer see when
was little barefooted runt and used to
wear tow trousers, dad used to live down
on hill farm in Pennsylvany, and about
all | had to do was to run round gettin'
stone-bruises on my heels and bein'
sTUNG BY BUMBLE-BEEs,
and givin' dad a chance to exercise him
6soe.,sfaWith a beech CAD he always bed
Ioned me so mc faf nv frosers ron , me1
things l used to raise Cain with was
loveage stalk that | used to blow peas
through. Ever been hit in the eye with
apea, Bliff ?"
"No."
"Well, you don't want ter be. They
hurt like Sam Hill. used to go round
with loveage stalk under my jacket
and my pocket full of dry peas, and
shoot peas at everything. One day as
! was a-goin' by the buck pastur' down
in the medder, seed the old ram a.
gnawing grass, and out come my love-
age stalk. fired two or three peas at
him but he was too far off, SO that l
couldn't hit him, so / took my hat, held
it up in front of my face, wobbled it
around and yelled 'boo-woo-woop The
old ram looked up and seed me, and
started for the rail fence with head down
and full steam on. was all ready, and
when he was bout three feet away !
give pea plump on the nose. Golly!
you oughter seed him tear round and
stamp, and smack his head up agin the
rails, and | all the time poppin' peas at
went off out into the middle of the pas
tur' and stood there stampin' his feet
and looking ugly; but couldn't get him
up to the fence no more.
Long in June, as | was a-goin' by the
pastur' | seed some strawbrys through
the fence, and | wanted 'em so bad that
they made my mouth water. The old ram
was a-lyin' down in the corner of the
fence under but'nut tree and looked as
if he was asleep, so | slipped over the
fence mighty still and went to film my
jacket with strawbrys, and keeping one
eye on the old ram. He didn't stir and
purity soon l got so busy eaten that l
forgot all about him. Them was big
strawbrys, and ! war a-stoopin' down
and pickin' with both hands when some
thin hit me from behind ! guess it
knock me rod, and when / struck my
nose plowed hole in the ground. OF
course | knowed it was the old ram, who
was a-gittin' even for the peas, and
scrambled up and ran for the fence, but
/ hadn't gone ten feet afore he lifted me
agin, and then he backed off bout half
rod, and every time I'd move he'd
smash me.
''Dad was a-hoein' up on the side-hill,
and he seed what was a-goin' on. Yer
see dad didn't know nothin bout the
peas, and it made him pow'ful mad to
see the old ram a-beltin' me, and down
he comes as tight as he could run. The
old ram was SO busy a-taking care of me
that the first thing he knew, dad had
him by the horns.
'"Blast yerv sez dad, I'll larn yer
better than to be a-buttin' the breeches
often my boy He commenced pound
7 in the old rams nose with his fist.
! Purity soon, just as dad was a-strikin',