The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12
A MARTYR DoLORosA.

Aunt Nancy was the wife of Uncle
'Lisha.
1t would be impossible to give BIZ
ography of Aunt Nancy without inclu
ding Uncle 'Lisha, or to eliminate hel
individuality long enough to serve her
mp alone. And / doubt if the dear old
lady would like such marital independ
ence. Nor do think she would recog
nize any picture of herself that was no,
q reflection of him. Like the moon she
shone by borrowed light.
Uncle 'Lisha was living illustration
of the old adage, ut is betferto be born
lucky than rich." His property was
inherited, and he never did day $
work in his life. But everybody else in
his family worked, Aunt Nancy, his
wife, more than any of them. Uncle
'Lisha didn't work because he enjoyed
poor health. A partial list of his COM
plants would read about like this:
Fever and ague
Chronic indigestion.
Paralysis Of the heart.
Paralysis of the liver.
Intlammatory rheumatism.
Lamencss in the left knee.
Lamencss in the right knee.
Justification of the joints.
Hereditary consumption.
ION the mothers side.)
Hereditary apoplexy.
(On the fathers side)
These were just few of the ills
which beset the poor nan. and made
him exceedingly careful of himself. He
couldn't stoop for fear of apoplectic
symptoms; he was afraid to lift any,
thing on account of his spine; he never
dared hurry, as his heart had habit
of beating, and in fact nothing agreed
with him except-doing nothing. He
was the very same boy referred to in
the following incident. / am aware il
is credited to the Beecher family. but
they never had monopoly of lazy boys,
ifthey did of bright ones. Uncle 'iisha's
father. the good doctor, had one time
been away from home a few DAYS,
leaving his two boys, Elisha and
Ezekiel, to do the chores. When he
returned nothing had been done, and
the boys were discovered in a hay-mow
reading stories.
''Zeke!" Numbered the doctor.
''come here, sir.
Zeke came and stood shamefacedly
before him.
was away?'
Nothing, sir.''
elisha, come here, you, and give an
account of yourself. Tell the truth
now. What have you been doing?n
ssHelping Zeke, sir"
This faculty was Uncle 'Lisha's stock
In trade, and he steadily improved II
and made others believe in il. until
they really considered it wrong to ex-
Pect him to do anything. / can see
him yet putting on his boots of a win.
ter's morning. All the cattle had been
foddered. water drawn and wood car
ried in. Aunt Nancy had been up hours
getting breakfast and hushing the
children and telling them not to make
a noise and wake .'poor father,'' who
hadn't slept wink all nicbt
Gentle soul! 1t is possible that
she believed it, for She was too
tired herself to lie awake to see. And
when he came down they all waited on
him and handed him his boots. while
:. - fseASaetl III ltuut VI the not
fire. Then he would cough feebly. nut
his hand to his heart, sigh-and warm
the inside of one boot. After RESTING
from this exertion he would take astral
IN each hand and with several ATTEMPTS
get it on. Then long rest, before
similar process with the other one. A
drink of reviying water was then
handed by one child, while another
stood by and looked at him as if he had |
been a reinforced wonder. .Poor |
father was only afflicted with spring |
lever, which lasted him the wear round |
lin other words, chronic laziness.
II shan't last long" be would saw in
hat whiney-piney voice, which ex-
all who knew him as he
'cally was. Then, Nancy, YOU andH
ne children can have it all yoar own /
vay.
And Aunt Nancy would CRY and the
hildren howl, and there would be some
ddod delicaoy ct the sufferers plate
d the Rest meal