Arkansas weekly mansion., 1884-01-12
THE KINDLY JEST,

There appear to be two great divis-
ions of humorous wit: the repartea and
the practical joke Both these have an
aggressive character. To begin with
the repartee-it is usually q slap in the
face.
few years ago, the country pos
sessed great master of repartee, MIR.
Douglas Jcrrol.i. Specimens of his
style still survive in the memory of his
contemporaries
a mediocre writer, employed or the
same subject rs himself, says: You
know, Jerrold. You and are rowing in
the same boat"
Yes, replied the wit. '.but not with
the same sculls."
Another inferior artist is eating soup
at the Garrick Club. He praises 1t to
Jerrold, and tells him it was calf-tail
soup Aye" says Jerrold, ..eNtrcmes
meet
These are strong specimens, but take
milder ones; still the aggressive char
actcr Is there.
Pccuniary calamity overlook a friend
of Mr.. Edmund Burke. Another friend
went to conso.e him, and, like Jobs
comfortcrs, told him 1t was all his own
fault. How could You be so uufcel-
ing?" asked Mr. Burke, when he heard
of it.
..Unfrclinr. sir,'' SAYS the other
"Nhv, went to him directly, and poured
oil into his wounds
"Oil of vitriol," says the statesman.
OF course need not say that thou
sani examples of the kind are TO be
found in literature.
The witty Noltaire rcccdel with AL
mirable icNtcrity from good nature into
wit He permitted himself 10 praise
some @cntl man rather warmly. HIS
Eearcr sad: This Is very good of YOU,
for he doesn't speak of You with any re-
spcct; quite the reverse
..Ahn said Noltairc. '.h5tI1af1unI est
crrare;' probably we are both of us
mistaken
An observer Of witty men and their
savings summed the matter up as fol
lows: UiycnT- &c bJn-n,OtS, nauCaiS car
&c ere.
Even where the wit is without per
sonalitv, it does not always lose its az
grcSS.vc character. See how the per
sonarcS in the Sch .ol for Scandal
expla why wit and scooh-nature are 50
seldom united. 1t is not bitter, but still
it is biting.
Now 90 from this to the practical
joke, which is always an attempt at hui
NOR. Dissrct the pract cal joke. Egot-
ism and Il poverty of real wit tempt
some dull fellow to inilict moderate
pain upon another, keep NO We'll out y!
il himself: ard his being out of it. and
the other be NJ in ii, makes him feel
humorous; and this really favorS the
narrow the ~ of Hobbies of Maimesbury
that daughter arisr from a-glorying in
ourselves at some superiority over our
ncichbors." The duh humoriSt in this
Stvlc chips briStlcS and StrcwS them in
his friends bed, or makes him up what
is called an apple-pie bcd-a wonderful
corrupt on of cap-a-pie- Meantime his
bed is all right. and his heart r"ioiccs.
One OF these hunorists put a skeleton
into Il young lady's bed, down in
Somerset shire, then retired softly and
awaited the result. with the id;otic
chuckle of dull dog who has straye,l
into humor The result was that the
lady fell screaming to the floor; was
taken rp insane. and ended her days in
n ma,,-housc. Another such humOriSt
b,uttoncd down the matches of Il small
trad nw-ycsscl in the Thames Smoke
was created somehow in the hold (I for
get by what ,auSe):. the crew. cons St
inr oi four poor wretch"S. tried Ill Va n
to escape. Their very cries were sti!.cd.
and the next day their smoking corpseS
were recovered. grim monuments OF {.
stupid fellows humor.
Solomon has observed that Nature
contains tremendous animals. a. the
head of the list he places Il couple, VIZ
Il bear robbed of her whclpS and an IL
ritatcd fool. Leaving these two Otcrrblc
creatures to fiwUre cheek by iowl in the
sacred page, / beg the third place for 4
dull man or woman trying to be witty
Now all this is not absolutely neceS-
sarv. 1t is more difficult to say witty
and kindly things than w tty and i'll
naturcd things. Yet it is W thin the
power of the human understanding.
young lady walking in her garden
with Svduev Smith, pointed out to him
an everlasting pea. reported TO blossom
beautifully, '-but," she said. 1--WE have
never been able t. bring it to pcrfcc-
ton ..Then,n said the K ndiy wit,
.s,et me bring Perfection to the pea.
and so led her by the hand to a closer
inspection of the flower.
Coulon. famous mimic of Louis
NE's time. took off the King aS well a-
his subjects. The King heard of it, and
insisted on seeing the Imitation. He
was not offended at it, and gave Coulon
Il fine diamond pin. Couion looks at
tie pin and saws: Coming to me this
ought to be paste; but coming from
Your Majesty, it is naturally n dia-
nond.' Is the element of wit eNtin-
gu;shed here by the good nature? l
trow not.
Frederick the Great disbclieved in
physicians, and said that invalids die
oftcncr of their remedies than Of their
n:aladies: and, as the lancet YVES rife in
his day, probably he was not very far
wrong. However. he fell sick, and the
weakness of his body, l suppose. af-
fccted his mind. So he sent for 4 physi-
cian. DIR. Zimmerman. but at s ght OF
him his theory revived, and his hab;tual
good manners led him to say to Zim-
mermann. by way of greeting: ''Now,
doctor, I'll be bound to say You have
sent many honest fellow under
ground Zimmerman replied, with
out hes tat;on: Not so many as Your
MaicStv-nor with so much credit TO
myself
Isn't that wit, if you please? Aye,
and of very high order. But it Is
even possible to convert the practical
joke to amiability, and to substitute the
milk of human kindness. where hither
to men have dealt in adultcratcd vine
gar. And of this beg to offer an eN-
ample.
A certain German nob1eman provided
his son with Il tutor: who was to attend
closely to him at all hours and improve
his mind This tutor, it seems, took for
his example certain predecessor of
his, who used to coach young Cyrus IN
doors and out. And both these tutors,
each in his own country and his own
generation, had the brains to see that
to edu cate young fellow you must not
p-e ely set him tasks to learn indoors.