New-York tribune., 1884-02-03
GRINDING UP MUMMIES FOR PINT.
AN IRREYERENT IMPORTER OF TIE CONTEMPT.
RARIRs OF EAMEsEs THE GREAT.

AN IRREVERENr IMPORTER OF THE CONIEMPO.
RARIEs OF RAMEsEs THE GREAT.
Some people call me an undertaken, but how
they belle my glorious calling am resurrectOnst
and an importer. II every man should regard Egypt
with my eyes there would be no El Mahdi. Chinese
Gordon and in the birthplace OF the gods Tho
people would be fat and numerous; money would flow in
upon them with q thousand streams and the bankers OF
Alexandria might have winter Villas along the shores OF
Victoria Lake aud establish watcr-cure hotel at tho
headw aters Of the Nile" And then the little took
of his dirty little fez and stamped upon with righteous
indignation that the land of ChcOps ana sesosts
going to the dogs with many abomnable tin pans tied
10 ts tu
TRIBUSE reporter took him 10y the third button hole:
What I'm the nano OF Osiris are you talking about ."
he asked.
"MumrnIcs," replied the little man. "Mummles are
things which know more about thnn any man living.
Brugsch Bey wasn't patch to me- and Ebers. why he
didn't know a mummy unless he looked ia the glass.
know uInmles because it's my business import them
and sell them $50 each to curiosity hunters Num-
inies nre not much curioses since they began
making paint of thcin but for c specimens you can
always get decent price
at can't be an excruciangly funny trade, suggested
the reporter.
"Nn Young man. you're rghr. when
mAnny ho doesn't 20 into corner and hug himself and
then die horrible cOnvusOns. lie doesn't hang HIM
SELF on a clothes -lne that a his neighbors can eo
him and then laugh his shoes on Oh, no. he simply ITS
down and thinks what lot OF triple plated aicked es
that old cOlger has oeen IN ne day ana thcn goes ou anu
tres TO negotiate loan on his antiquity:
MummiCs a staple article OF TRADE, are quite new
Ten years ago the idea OF buying ana selling human nh.
even though U Is dcsiccated, would have oent thlll OF
Iorror throuc every honest AbotOnist But nOw-lh.
ny dear sir, live IA progressive age went mo
the business about hVc years when mtmniies sold
with the wrapplugs all mtactat abOnt 500. maiea
GOOD deal OF money AT n, for munm"S can Dc oDdie
the land OF their curing the simple expense o uSS3
Tor them Thea the duty them + not excessive ai"
the consequence Is that the profit Is exeeeduS! s"'
| factory" 80,
| - DO mummies ever spoil in transit T.
NO" said the rrevelont Old man, mlnnneS heNVa @
spoil young They have been too Well DlouEu' W W
for that sort OF thing Then they are hefme,letiy ,,
never mosquitoes In Egypt, nor jersey lightning, W."
| Maine maple sugar Oeonargarine. nor any AMY
Conducted individuals who died when their time came
and had themselves sewed and glued up In thu ola eV
ing of their relatives. No they don't spoil, my UOi u
they improve greatly after they have been Pa'! u"
| In what way, most mighty sage :"
Well when unwTBp them the surface o' tue ouuy
Is almost as white n your flesh white mummy , - nm nm
curry without peppers take him out INTO Tue sun
aud set him full IN tho rays OF II. Before many Gals
are passed he assumes color nearly IKE tlat OF Ssu
fOrna redwood aud then he Is marketaDle Nhen uo Io
sufficiently tanned We yarnish hin: and yOn may li'.o
him In tho darkest or Your Drahuy SIose' W
frighten Bridget when she gets thirsty, WHOM & Vn
dangering his complexion couId se YOU hi w onnfry
idea how many mummies are imported INTO TINS eouSy
every year myself sold nearly 300 Ol thehl III Iooo,
You see when person gets tired OF ms mummy ay ali
pines 10 be relieved OF his @ p,h az
put the pieces I'm coffee grinder and then mix the 9use
IN with tnI pentine and lpseed oil. The result vi 10
an excellent color with which TO paint your daao an
| Aa'pbaint wall with human flesh !"
why yes Never let unhealthy sentmeltaiip M
| terfore with high a< decoration"