Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-10-17
THE CLERICOMOTOR.

lNE CLNBLaOVMVAVns
There was trouble in tho Byesville
Orthodox Church Old Parson Thorne,
who for the last forty years had been a
faithful shepherd to his flock, no longer
occupied the pulpit.
Byesville was struggling little ham
let when the good man first came there,
and he had seen it grow to & thriving,
bustling town. With this material
change there had gradually come cor
responding alteration in the minds of
the churchgoers, and they began to
find the parsons simple exposltions OF
the Divine truths trife too quiet and
slow for the progressive spirit which
animated them. AS to the parsons
personal worth and Christian humanity
there was no question, but his theology
was not abreast Of the times. At first the
murmurs OF discomfort were heard from
only few, but the feeling seemed to
be con tagious, and as time wore on it
grew stronger and stronger, until there
could be only one possible climax--the
supplanting of the present pastor by
younger and more advanced Clergyman.
The first Of these steps had already
been taken good old Parson Thorn, had
preached his farewell sermon, and the
pulpit was vacant. The second move,
however, was found to be far less easy
Of accomplishment. There had been
an almost unanimous desire for the
resignation of Parson Thorne, but
when it came to choosing his successor
considerable dissension arose. The
difficulty was not so much a question
Of doctrinal belief as of mental and
physical equipment. The ladies of the
parish were unanimous in their desire
for handsome bachelor. The men,
while willing to concede this much to
the infrmities Of the weaker sex, were
equally determined that the new conner
should be man OF phenomena brill
iancy. In short, nothing less than o
Beecher with the form OF an Adonis
would suit all parties. The committee
on selection was placed III very unen
viablc position. These worthy gentle
men, Deacons Simpson, Simpson aud
Grubb, faithfully strove to bring about
the desired result. They carried on an
extensive correspondence with numer-
oas desirable parties, and they made ON
several occasions visits to neighboring
cities, but all to no practical purpose.
The desirable clergymen, while willing
enough to listen to their proposals..
speedily declined them when they as
certaiped the insufficienoy of the salary
offered. On the other hand, those who
could be secured were found to be alto
gether too far below the standard de-
sired. At last, failing to secure the
wished-for prize through the ordinary
channels, Deacons Simpson, Simpson
and Grubb resolved upon bold move.
They inserted an lngeniously worded
advertisement in prominent New
York religious journal and awaited the
result. Their patience was not put to
severe test.
On the tenth day following the first
appearance Of the advertisement, q
stranger stepped from the New York
morning express train into the Byes-s
vile depot, and few moments later
was conveyed in the village omnibus to
the Wallingford House. His baggage,
metallic bound trunk of unusual size,
soon followed him. -,5 @.,.@
AS he stepped to the clerks desk to
register, he appeared to be a man of
about forty years OF age. He was of
medium hight, and of a spare frame.
s His eyes were keen and piercing, and
his sallow complexion. was heightened
by the extreme blackness of his abund-
ant hair and pointed mustache.
He registered as John Rogers, and
after short conversation with the
clerk, which resulted in the sending
Of the bell-boy on a mysterious errand,
was shown to room Is, whittier his trunk
preceded HIM. "A subdued roise of
( hammering was heard from the stran-E
gers apartment for brief period, and
then all was still. Il :. .%%5gSs
Half IN hour later gentle knock on
the door Of No. is announced the pres
ence Of Deaeons Simpson, Simpson
and Grubb. The stranger ushered them
in with quiet courtesy, and begged
Chem to be seated.
"GentIeman," he said, "you are
doubtless aware OF che business which
has brought me here" N #555 h ~ n
\ II presume, !" replied Deacon Simp-ii
son, who was the self elected chairman
: OF the cOmmlLlee, you come III answer
4 to our ertise,nent. ID d AZ
Il In the trumpet Of Faith" added
Deacon Stimps on. s3,s a. 5ss
on are quite right, : responded the
stranger, with q pleasant smile, which
displayed his fine teeth to advan-.
tage. s Your advertisement has indeed
brought me here. !" ' .s$s IS
The committee eyed him critically
You wouldn't mind or sssking you
. few questions ~ queried Deacon simp-i
son. ss t3
S& We have them written ont, ex-.
planned Deacon Stimp
Il. Here they he, said Deacon drubb,
prod cing . bulky note. book.
One moment, gertl eman Il cried the
stranger. 81 fea1 ,you are 1aboring I'M
der slight misapp ehension. am
4 not d can date for minis terial honors. !"
The commit lei looked i'd astonish-i
ment at each other, and then stared
blank about the room. For the first
/ time they oticed that The apar tnents
was partitioned of by q heavy curtain.
ii supp osed, 81 course, that you
were The sppi cant = said Deacon Simp-
Sson, lookiu annoy esl ~
!s