Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1884-11-15
LUDICRous BLUNDERs.
Committed by Newspaper Reporters Not
Up TO the Tricks Of the Trade.
Detroit Free Press


Q into ways that are dark and trick
I that are vain. A reporter was ono
sent to report the sermon OF a Gel.
! brated but very devout and solem
Presbyterian clergyman. 1t wa
the funeral Grafton OF n distinguish
, ed member OF his church. The II
I porter did not rise early enough
} and when he arrived at the churc
the clergyman had finished. Wait
ing upon him after the service h
asked the loan OF the preacher'
manuscript. The obliging clergy
man took il out of his overcoat
pocket and handed it to the scribe
who, delighted at his easy task
wrote a hasty introduction, and
without further delay, went off L
spend the Sabbath with his best
girl. II was a funeral discourse
the subject of which was a man
well known in the city for his great
plety, sincerity, purity and benev-
olence. Being Sunday, the dis.
course got into the printers hands,
and the night editor was Mortified
at its beginning thus:
"Among his friends and dupes he
acquired by persistent hypocrisy
a reputation for sanctity, which, by
means of doleful whine and OBJ
strusive cant, he maintained TO his
very last breath. So inveterate was
his habit that when on his death
bed his spiritual adviser whispered
to him that there was pardon for
the vilest sinner, he retorted: "I
am glad of il there are so many
of them that need il so much more
than / do" etc. Had not the ed
it0r put his blue pencil through the
whole article the city would have
rung next day with the scandalous
discourse about this worthy man.
The clergyman had, accidentally,
on leaving his house put on his sons
0vercoat, and instead of his sermon
had handed the reporter maga-
zine article, written by his son about
"a notorious and pious fraud who
had died In England one hundred
years before.
In another case a reporter who
was on trial was told to "write ND
Sheridan"-Gen. Phil Sheridan
who was expected in town the
next morning. Anxious to show
how well he could accomplish hls
new task, he resolved to ''scoop the
other fellows" by a long and elsb-
crate biographical notice. Turning
to the cyclopedia, he began 10 read
about Sheridan, but had scarcely
cast his eye over it when IL was ru-
ulOred that the General had arrived
in the city. Hurrying away 10 get
the later and local facts about him,
he had to finish his biography with
out further aid from the cyclOpedia.
Doubtless to Sheridan's great sur
prise, he learned from the next
mornings paper that he was an
by birth; before com
ing to America he was the prOpri-
etor of London theatre, and wrote
the "SchOol for Scandal" the "Ri-
vals," and other plays. Soon after
his arrival in this country the war
broke out, and he abandoned the
stage and play-writing for militia
~ life. Thai reporter was given an
indefinite leave ot absence.
An overworked reporter was on
his way to fire long distance OF
when he met an acquaintance whom
ne asked about the fire. Learning
all the details, as he supposed, he
went back 10 the Office and wrote
vivid description of the event. In
he building he said there was "a
arge quantity Of saw-dust," which
,nly added tierceness To the flames.
Several blocks were surrounded
~ the fire, and il was only with the
greatest difficulty that the fire was
and ii was not until the
building and all its contents were
educed to ashes" Much 10 his
he found next day
hat his friend was practical jokt n,
nd that instead of a saw-mill, as he
IT was nn ice.house that
vas on fire,
A reporter was sent 10 ascertain
he truth of a TumOr that n well
nOwn citizen had gone insane.
hat reporters career ended then
nd there. when the paper the next
lorning had the following parl-
raph: "There was report yester-
ay that something was the matter
nth Mr.. Sanders head, IL rs as
Dund as ii has always been, There
J nothing In IT,"
A reporter was sent to attend the
Ineral OF a prominent gentleman.
lie arrived at the house, but, find
X no signs Of the event, concluded
e had come too late. So he thought
e would take his chances and
write ii up on the general princi-
les." 1t so happened, however,
- ...t..Nsalrn
bout the matter. il had occurred
! the morning Instead OF the after
Don, and the clergyman who at,
'nded the funeral was married In
le afternoon TO a widow, to whom
e had long been engaged. And
lis was the kind Of notice that was
mt after him on his wedding tours
rhe Rev. Mr.. Thomson was pres
IT at the services at the house yes
rday afternoon, There Is no man
well adapted TO these sOlemn
.casions. He impressed every one
'esent with his evident sorrow
ld pity for the heart.brOken widow
I'd her afflicted children. lie told
em that, although they had lost
cir stay and support, there was
Ie who would still be father 10
EN-. These words seemed greatly
comfort them. Even their be-
aved mother could not have fall.
tO be eonsOled in her grief by
e tenderness of the reverend gen.
eman, who himself betrayed great
notion and could scarcely restrain
3 tears"
The most recent enterprise OF this
rt has been achieved by the New
Drk papers, each Of which had
lbOrate descriptions Of the "Illu-
ination Of He'll Gate" The orig
al locality Of this name Is not be-
wed 10 require any other illumi-
ition than that afforded by open
e the gates themselves But It's
In New York has just
en- furnished with an electric
hit. According 10 the Herald,
Owds gathered along the river and
are well rewarded by the Inagni-
ent spectacle. They saw a dull
Dw high up in the darkness of the
ght; but an instant later there
shed forth flood OF light which
ew brighter and brighter, broader
d broader. The reporter then
the landscape as IL lay
,athed in silvery showers. and
o outlines of the big fridge stretch
: like some huge spider web from
ore 10 shore"
AS the lamps had not then been
1 In Dlace and the illumina-