Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-23
BRIGHT BITS.

TWELVE MILLION CLOCKS were manufac-
tured last year. The whole world seems
bound to go ION ck.'-HGrtford Post.
"YEs," he said. Louis is good fellow and
I like him. But we shall soon cease TO be
friends. He is going to hire house Of me-"
ONE beauty of writing an editorial about
the situation in the SOudan is that nobody
else knows enough about it to show that you
are wrong.
1T is said that the new opera house in Chi
cagO will be nine stories high. There will be
room in the upper stories Tor the mortgage
Neto orleans PicdQtne.
A SCIENTIST asserts that a bee can only
sting once in two minutes. Tell this to man
with a bee up his trousers if you want him to
call you q liar, SO you know he means it.
THE report that Miss Terry has four living
husbands is a mean miserable. despicable
SANDER started by the yenOmed tongues of a
gossip. She has only Disqualification
"soI, PAT. are you asleep, me by" qucried
a Fort Wayne Irishman of his bed-fell0W.
NO" "Then be after lindin' me siyinty- five
cents" I'm aslape, be jabers. fort Wayne
HOOsier.
MAN in Iowa has patented a hens nest.
BY and by some man will patent the hen, and
then we will have to pay for eggs until plain
omelet will taste like ten dollar bill.-B~r-
IingtOn Hd1obeye
"nERR MEYER, l suppose you understood
that every one was to bring along something
to the picnic. What have you brought2'
Herr Meyer-"My two boys, as you see."-
FLie0ende BLdtter.
LABoRING MAN in the eastern part of the
city has wife and IA children TO kick their
heels under his table, and yet some of his
neighbors blame him for not taking more in
terest in poltics.-Detr0it free Press.
THE startling story comes from Russia that
the Nihilists have been putting water in the
Cars whisky. Now this IS mistake. If
fIaaxr prf To = M al q nc
that, they'll lose the sympathy OF the world.
WE learn from a reliable exchange that the
wealth of the United States IS 1912 for each
person. We wish the fellow who has the
SS7l IS that belongs to US would fetch it in be-
fore we grow too old to enjoy wealth.--Niddle-
tolcn Transcript.
GALL this hard wood you export" the Eng
llsh tourist asked the Indiana lumberman, ''all
this maple and beech, you know, where does
it go>' And the man told him that most of it
went direct to Scotland, where it was worked
up INTO boxes and churns and paper folders
from the rafters of Burns cottage and the
home of Sir Walter Scott. And the tourist
said "Haw," and wrote something in his note
bOOk.-BurtjRGtOR Hd1Ckeye.
81 AM not yet in the poor house. and so can
afford TO use Scent postage stamps" was the
whitening rebuke administered by Brook
Ign belle to the clerk at the post office stamp
window last evening, as she declined prof
fered 2-cent stamp and the accompanying
penny. "But two cents is the common rate
now" explained the clerk 81 don't care if
it is" retorted the young LAZY, haughtily; Il
am not common, and if you insult me, sir, I'll
have you removed by the President. "-Edgle.
NO violet blooms in the wintry vale,
No blossoms are on the lea;
No crosses bunch in the meadow rill,
No robin sings in the tree;
No wind flower wakes in the woodland glade,
The arbutus sleeps in the earth;
No tender breeze has awak yet
The world to its spring time birth;
But the base ball player is rOusing up
From Frisco unto the Hub,
And shining around for a higher "sal'-
And he signs with another club.
-CLeUeIdnd Leader.