St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-04
some church Characters.
BURpETTE POINTS OUT WHO AND WHAT


BuRpETTE POINTS OUT WHO AND WHAT
THEY ARE.
This said the returned missiona-
~ to the poor heathrn whom he had
brought over, dis church,
And the poor heather greatly ad-
mired the church. By and by he
asked
"Who is the fat man with the big
watch seal, who looks Mt the church
as though he thought some of putting
on a $50 bay window and raising the
rent $500 year p -. ..
"That is a trustee" said the returned
missionary.
''He does most of the praying, sup
pose ?" said the poor heather, who, in
his blindness, knows very little about
the way we do these things.
Nc" said the returned missionary,
she doesn't believe in praying he is a
Bob Ingersoll man and believes that
nobody doesn't know nothing and that
they know that he knows that they
know lie knows they don't. He is not
a member of the church, but he is a
good, ar-Eeaded business man, good
manager, strong on real estate deals,
very much of a Christian to he trus-
tee, except in the country. In town
church only wants good business
man for trustee
"And who is the man who stands in
the door and glares at the people as
they pass in and tries to keep them
out ?" asked the poor heather.
THAT is the SEXTON" replied the
missionary. "He doesn't believe in
opening the church for religious ser
vice at all. He says the church was
built to have swell weddings in. and
that for preaching and prayer-meet-
ings and other side shows of that ma
ture the trustees should hire hall"
"Who is the very yOung man who
pushes people out of the way that he
may have room to pass in, and stoops
very low as he enters the 20-foot door,
and sits directly under the steeple lest
he should strike his head when he
stands up7"
That" said the returned mission
AIRY, "is the new superintendent of the
Sunday school. They are all that way
at first. BY and by, when he has for
gotten every line of his beautiful
speech, when there are distinguished
strangers present, when he has started
the wrong tune to in entirely strange
hymn, and corrected himself by strik-
ing the right tune on Il key so high
that the chimes of Normandy couldn't
ring second bass to it; when he has
| fuuked, fair, square and outright, on
the first ten questions in his question
box, be will know less by ton than
he does now, and he good, useful,
earnest and humble superintendent.
He's only young and new, like an Au-
gnst persimmOn."
"Here comes the owner of the
church," the poor heathen said. "He
looks as though he had decided to
make pemmican of the sexton and
trustee, and not hold any service to-
day"
"No, that is not exactly the owner of
the church" the returned missionary
said ''but that is the leader of the
choir"
"Who is that meek, timid little man
who j. trying to creep in without let
ting the sexton see him, and who has
just taken off his hat to the leader OF
the choir ?"
"Oh, that is only the pastor of the
church," the returned missionary re-
piled. "Wili you go inside ?"
And the poor heathen said he would
because he rather guessed from their
looks, the sexton and the leader of the
choir had made up their minds to set
tie that morning which of the two
should take the church and run it.