The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-01-04
would have been a very tame affair.

| heavy sea. lou VIII luuSc HUN ohio
that his appearance WIS not very pre-
possessing, but when he coupled him.
self to the huge bass drum and struck
ND "Home, Sweet Home one forgot
the man in the artist, and wanted to
kill him. Tom always voted Inc straight
Democratic ticket, and made no secret
of his Democratic principles, which
made him very unpopular among the
people of his own race and color
Some amusing discussions were held
between Tom and the white carpet
| baggers, who tried in vain to make him
see the errors of his ways,
"Tom,' said one, show is ii that you
play the drum at Republican political
meetings, and yet are such a strong
Democratp 1t shows lack Of consist
ency."
Don know muffin bout 'sstency,
boss" said the old fellow, scratching
his head, ''but the drum amt got no
politics. When | drums fer de white
men dey pays me, an when drums
fer de 'publicans dey pays me too-in
| advance"
AN AMBITIOUS DARKEY.
One of the best negroes ever met
bore the doctrinal name of Calvin, and
originated in the pleasant little village
of Lake City, Fla. He was the facto-
tum, friend, counselor and servant of
State Treasurer Conover, and perfectly
devoted to all that gentleman's inter-
ests. He was six feet in hight, slightly
round-shouldered, and as strong as Her
cules He was honest and reliable to
surprising degree; his language was
choice and entirely devoid Of the usual
| idioms. His integrity was perfect, and
he could be trusted with uncounted
gold. Whatever was placed in his care
was perfectly safe. No one could have
| got it from him while he was alive.
| The great ambition OF Calvin was to be
a scholar, and in the intervals of his
labor he could always be found, book in
hand, porting over the intricacies of the
three Rs. We all used to encourage
him in every way possible. When
| Conover was elected to the United
States senate he took Calvin to Wash
ington with him and got him place
in the government printing office Here
his vast strength made him valuable,
and he received good wages, or salary,
as he preferred to call it. Now be be-
gan to blossom out, the natural vanity
Of the negro leading him to dress far
better than any other member OF the
| Florida colony. He made the acquain-
lance of several members of Howard
University, and, melted by them, began
the study of Greek before he had mas
tered even the rudiments of the En-
glish language. He explained to me his
reason for SO doing, that, as the Greek
was the hardest to learn, if he once
mastered that the English would come
easy to him. The colored students
were excessively fond of Calvin, he was
so very convenient to borrow money
| from. When the election time rolled
around Calvin returned to Tallahassee
to exercise that blessed privilege. He
wore $50 suit OF clothes and his bear
ing was erect, naughty and proud. As
he was walking down Monroe street
one day Aunt Jenny was on the other
side and spied him. "Hey! o! Uncle
Calvin" was her cordial and enthusiast
tic salutation. Now, if our friend Cal
vim despised any one thing it was to be
called "Uncle," SO he paid no attention
TO her.
This was mortal affront to Aunt
| Jenny, who was one of the old-time
negroes and prided herself accordingly,
so she sang out at the top of her voice,
Calvin, YOU is holdin' yer head mighty
high, honey, but de good Lord gwine
to bend hit down."
A DARKEY WHO FOLLOWED THE BAND.
An odd character was old Uncle
Balaam, who did chores for Colonel S.
He was over 70 years old, thin and
bent over, with snow-white wool, and
that peculiar intellectual expression
that one sees in the profile of mullet.
The popularity of Uncle BALKAN was
that he could not withstand the charms
of music. No matter what he was
doing or what errand he was on, the
moment band struck up he had eyes
and ears for nothing else. He would
be going home with huge basket Of
provisions, trotting along mumbling to
himself, when around the corner a
parade would come, drums beating and
horns footing, and Uncle BALKAN would
fall in and march all over town, for
getting the irate cook waiting for the
market basket.
However, when it only delayed din
ner an hour or so, it was of but little
moment. The easy temperament of
the southerner would not become I'M
duly excited. But when the leg of
mutton came home covered with mud
from an unlucky spill, he would be
greeted with a torrent of angry invec-
tive and threats of condign punish
ment, to which his only reply would
be, Cant help hit, Mars John; | was
comm home, sab, when de company
came long an jess jined 'em, sab. '"
But where did you goP" said the
Colonel.
mo whar' ticker, sab; we was Jess
a marchin', sab, jess marchin'."
de had a most exasperatng ndiffer-
ence to scolding One day he stole a
favorite Muscovy drake belonging to
the Colonel and traded it to one Of the
merchants for cheap bonnet and
some plug tobacco.
To all the scolding and threats be
calmly replied:
Now. Kunnel, I don't call dat steal
in YOu see wa IL all ana f.,,us. !, +, 4