Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1884-03-06
What You ara hot to Do II you Wish
To b in Good Form.

A Censor" has written and published
eighty small pages telling what people
mainly men-shall not do in the par
lor nor at the table. Don't" is the
title of the brochure and the first word
in every paragraph. 1t Is somewhat
English in tone, and band-box English
at that and much of il childish. Thus;
Don't handle your knife or fork awk-
wardly. Don't stab with the fork OF
carry it as if it were dagger"-[in a
belt?1 always carry food TO the mouth
with an inward curve Of the fork or
spoon" To tell a man that he shall
not carry knife as dagger is all well
enough, but when it is prohibited from
carrying soup over the bee-line, or
even on an outward curve, one is in
clined to look for the fundamental prin-
ciples that make u, the science of eat
ing soup and also for the mental
diameter of the man who writes it up.
The discovery is easily made: Don't
bend over your plate or drop your head
to get each mouthful. Keep an upright
attitude as near as you can without be-
ing stiff. This revelation simply
hidhcS IlO CutluS Vi ooup Il ihooO oCuuC-
tive pastime. Any kind OF soup would
do as an experiment; the mind, being
charmed with the science of sitting up
right and curying the spoon inward,
| will naturally be oblivious of seasoning
or flavor. II there are, say. dozen at
the table, the spectacle will be all the
more instructive. II can not be ex-
pected that all will be in training, so to
speak, and by casting the eye about
while the other eleven spoons are
going round the curve, considerable
useful information will be CLEANED. We
quite understand the Injunction:
Don't ask for second service of
SOUP" The natural inclination would
be to continue the operation indefinite
ly, and the whole party would go to
pieces on the first course.
"Censor" also knows something about
napkins. Don't tuck your napkin
under your chin, nor spread it upon
your breast. Don't spread your nap
kin over your lap; let it fall over the
knee" This one can see at n glance
is very important. If spread over the
lap the napkin might get soiled, but by
allowing it to fall over the knee it is
practically out Of the line onward
curve" The most glittering generally
in the list of table rules is to ''eat
gently and quietly and easily" In
cutting meat 'keep your elbows close
to your side" Don't mop your face
or beard with your Napkin and
.'dont load up the fork with food with
your knife and then cart it." 1t isn't
considered the thing to spread slice of
bread and then bite it. The bread
should be broken and each piece but
tered, and, above all things, don't"
crumb bread into your soup. A sem
sitive man could not survive the morti-
tication by telling his host by this
action that, as he may not get enough
in the following courses, he proposes
to dine off soup and bread. 1t is quite
evident that the American boarding.
house is responsible for the bread and
soup barbarity aimed at by Censor"
since man must have something to
sustain life, even when eating on a
French course schedule at an American
table.
Many of the rules given by Censor
as to the drawing-ro0m and the public
street will be serviceable, as they are
simply formal statement of what is
commonly practiced. but such points
as the lifting of the hat when a man
. passes woman's fare to the borse-car
conductor, are overdrawn. The hat is
simply not lifted under such circum-
stances to anv extent in any of our
great cities. The man who sits nearest
: the box in New York omnibus, for
example, usually has the occasion 10
piss u nickel score vi times, and the
tipping of the hat is as ridiculous rs it
is uncalled for. Moreover, every city
man is familiar with certains kinds OF
faces, and, while it is proper to pass
money Tor such individuals, it is not
proper TO add the extra agony OF a
salute. 1t is due to Censor" to say
that he has tabulated very concisely,
. and with fewer lapses of Judgment than
: we have been taught by experience to
look for in writer's on manners, many
of the more common points in q gentle
mans demeanor. The man who on all
: occasions would use all these rules
would be an unmitigated bore. but
r ignorance of the smaller customs, ever
, though one does not care to observe
$ them in every particular, is u course oi
s awkwardness and Embarrassment -
Sprieqfe d (M1SS. ReDubHcGn.