The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-11-15
LUDICROUS BLUNDEKS
Committed by Newspaper Reporters Not
Quite up to the Tricks of the Trade.

ways that are dark and tricks that are
| vain. A reporter was once sent to re-
| port the sermon ola celebrated but very
devout and solemn Presbyterian clergy
| man. 1t was the funeral Grafton of
distinguished member of his church.
| The reporter did not rise early enough,
| and when he arrived at the church the
clergyman had finished. Waiting upon
him after the service he asked the loan
| of the preachers manuscript. The oblig
| clergyman took it out of his overcoat-
pocket and handedit to the scribe, who,
| delighted at his easy task, wrote hasty
introduction, and, without further delay,
went off to spend the Sabbath with his
best girl. 1t was a funeral discourse,
| the subject of which was a man well
known in the city for his great piety,
sincerity, purity and benevolence. Be-
ing Sunday, the discourse got into the
printers hands, ard the night editor
was Mortified at its beginning thus:
Among his friends and dupes he
acquired by persistent hypocrisy
reputation for sanctity, which, by means
of doleful whine and obtrusive cant,
| he maintained to his very last breath.
So inveterate was his habit that when
on his death-bed his spiritual adviser
whispered to him there was pardon for
| the vilest sinner, he retorted: i am
| glad of it; there are so many of them
| that need it so much more than | do, :"
etc. Had not the editor put his blue
| pencil through the whole article the
city would have rung next day with
this scandalous discourse about this
worthy man. The obliging clergyman
had, accidentally, on'leaving his house,
put on his sons oyercoat, and instead of
his sermon had handed the reporter a
magazine article, written by his son,
about notorious and pious fraud who
had died in England 100 years before.
In another case a reporter who was
on trial was told to write up Sheridan"
Gen. Phil Sheridan--who was ex-
pected in town next morning. Anxious
to show how well he could accomplish
his new task, he resolved to ''scOop the
other fellows" by long and elaborate
biographical notice. Turning to the
cyclopedia, he began to read about
Sheridan, but had scarcely cast his eyes
over it when it was rumored that the
General had arrived in the city. Hurry
ing away 10 get the later and local facts
about him, he had to finish his biog-
raphy without further aid from the
cyclopedia. Doubtless to Sheridan S
great surprise he learned from the next
mornings paper that he was an English
man by birth before coming to America
he was the proprietor of London
theater, and wrote the School for
Scandal, the Rivals and other plays.
Soon after his arrival in this country
the war broke out, and he abandoned
the stage and play writing for a military
life. That reporter was given an in
definite leave of absence.
An overworked reporter was on his
way to fire long distance of when be
met an acquaintance whom he asked
about the fire. Learning all the details
as he supposed, he went back to the of
fee and wrote vivid description of the
event. In the building he said there
was "a large quantity of sawdust," which
only added fierceness to the flames.
Several blocks were surrounded by the
fire, and it was only with the greatest
difficulty that the fire was subdued, and
it was not until the building and all It's
contents were reduced to ashes" Much
to his CONSERVATION he found next day
that his friend was practical joker, and
that instead of a sawmill, as he sup
posed, it was an ice-house that was on fire
A reporter was sent to ascertain the
truth of rumor that a well known cltl-
zen had gone insane. That reporter
career ended then and there, when the
paper next morning had the following
paragraph: There was report yester-
day that there was something the mat
ter with Mr.. Sanders head. 1t is as
sound as it always has been. There is
nothing in it"
| A reporter was sent to attend the fu
neral of a prominent gentlemen. He
arrived at the house but finding nc
signs of the event, concluded he had
come too late. So he thought he would
take his chances and write it up on
general principles 1t so happened
however, that there had been some mis-
take about the matter. 1t had occurred
in the morning instead of the afternoon
and the clergyman who attended the
funeral was married in the afternoon tt
widow, to whom he had long been Ell
gagged And this was the kind OF no
tice that was sent after him on his wed
ding tour: "The Rev. Mr.. Thomastor
was present at the services at tht
house Yesterday afternoon. There
is no man SO well adapted tC
these solemn occasions. He impressed
every one present with his evident sor
row and pity for the heart-broken wild
.. ow and her afflicted children. He tolC
them that, although they had lost thei1
stay and support, there was one whC
would still be father to them. Thes,
words seemed greatly to comfort them
Even their bereaved mother could no
have failed to be consoled in her grie
' bv the tenderness of the reverend gen
: tlernan, who himself betrayed grea
4 emotion and could scarcely RESTRAIN
his tears"
: The most recent enterprise of this
? sort has been achieved by two Ney
2 York papers, each of which had elabor
| ate descriptions of the illumination 0
2 He'll Gate" The original locality o
2 this name is not believed to require an.
g other illumination than tha
e afforded by opening the gate
7 themselves. But it's namesak
: in New York has just been fur
a nished with an electric light. Accord
r ing to the Herald crowds gatheret
j along the river and were well rewsrde'
e by the magnificent spectacle. The
: saw a duh glow high up in the dark
!. ness of the night; but an instant late
s there gushed forth such food of ligh
/, which grew brighter and brighter
s broader and broader. The reporte
then portrayed the landscape as it la
''bathed in silvery showers, and the out
lines of the big bridge stretching hk
! some huge spider web from shore t
g shor-
q AS lie lamps had not been put i
$ place and the illumination had been dt
). layed week, the previousness of tn
q reporter was neither gratefully acknOw
1 .lzl !.