The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-03-21
The Three Liars.

Dy, says DOHn 1ldJt, ulneu WIN Ell
Perkins at the latter's residence in New
York. The conversation at the dinner
table | shall never forget. The stories
told and the "reminiscences brought out
at that dinner would ill small book.
After the last course and after the la.
dies had withdrawn. the conversation
turned upon horses. Finally Mr..
Twain laid down his cigar and asked
Perkins and Nasty if they had ever
heard of fast horse he Mark used to
own in Nevada.
81 did not,' said Nasby.
well, gentlemen" continued Mr..
Twain, as lie blew smoking ring and
watched it. "that was a fast horse. He
was very fast horse. But he was so
tough-bitted that l couldn't guide him
with bit ALL"
"How did you guide him ?" asked Eli.
well, gentlemen, l had to guide him
with electricity. l had to have wire
lines and had to keep battery in the
wagon all the time in order to stop
! him.
why didn't you stop him by holler-
ing who-a?" asked Eli.
stop him by hollering who-ar ex-
claimed Mr.. Twain. "Why, l could
not holler loud enough to make that
horse hear me. He travelled so fast
that no sound ever reached him from
behind. He went faster than the sound
sir. HOller whoa and he'd be in the
next town before the sound of your
voice could reach the dashboard. Trav-
ell fast? l should say lie could. Why,
| once started from Virginia City for
Meadow Greek right in front of one of
the most dreadful transforms we ever
had ON the Pacific coast. Wind ana
rain? Why, the wind blew eighty
miles an hour and the rain fell in
sheets. Idroye right before that storm
for three hours-just on the edge of
that hurricane and rain for forty
miles"
Didn't you get drenched?"
"Drenched? No. sir. Why, l tell you,
l drove right IN front of that rain
storm. | could lean forward and let
the sun shine on me, or lean backward
and feel rain or catch hailstones. When
the hurricane Stacked up the horse
Stacked up, too, and when it blew faster
| just said 'g-lkl to the horse and
touched the battery, and away he went
Now, | don't want to. lie about my
horse, Mr.. Perkins, and | don't ask you
to believe what L say, but l tell you
truthfully that when l got to Meadow
Creek my linen duster was as dry as
powder. Not a drop of rain on the
wagon seat either, while the wagon box
was level full of hailstones aud water,
or pmy--, "a"
Look here" gentlemen, interrupted
Mr.. Nasby, speaking of the truth, did
you ever hear abo ut my striking that
man in TOledo?'
Mark said he had never heard about
it.
"Well sir, it was this way: There
was man there-One of those world
ly, skeptical felloWs-whO questioned
my veracity one day. He said he had
doubts about the truthfulness Of one
of my crossroads incidents. He didn't
say it publicly, but privately I'm sor-
ry for the sake of his wife and family
now that he said it all-and sorry for
the man, too, because he wasn't prepar-
ed to go. If he'd been a Christian it
would have been different. say |
didn't want to strike this man, because
it's bad habit to get into-this making
ahuman chaos out of fellow
man. But he questioned my veracity,
and the earthquake came. | struck
HIM once-just once. Remembered he
was putting down carpet at the time
and his mouth was full of carpet-tac ks
But man can't stop to discount car
pet-tacks in mans mouth when he
questions your veracity, can you? L
never do. Isimply strG ok the blow.
did it hurt the man much?" asked
Eli.
81 don't think it did. 1t was too sud
den. The bystanders said if l was 60
ing to strike a second blow they want
ed to move out of the state. Now, l
don't want you to believe me, and /
don't expect you will, but to tell you
the honest truth, Mr.. Perkins | squash
ed that man right down into door
mat, and his own wife, who was tack
ing the edge of the carpet at the time,
came along and took him for a gutta-
percha rug, and actually tackled him
down in front of the door. Poor wO-
man, she never knew she was tacking
down her own husband! What became
of the tacks in his mouth? you ask.
Well, the next day she pulled them out
of the bottoms of his overshoes, and"
Gentlemen interrupted Eli, zone
day started for the New London
prayer-meeting on horseback. When /
got about halfway there there came up