Daily Republican., 1884-07-16

H. uasby Reaas HaSpsr's weekly,
nna has Dream over IL.

Ar. 1as6y Reads HaSpsr's weekly,
una has Dream over IL.
CoHYnDnaArs K RoAps. !.
Wich 10 In the State nv Kentucky,
Joon -. isN. J
Since Harpsr's Weekly hes lined hands
with the Corners anc bsoum trooly DINER.
cratic, determined 70 encurridgs It, and we
made up puss and subscribed for one COPY,
which bubbles its oirkslashen In the Corners.
II IT. cirhelashen will bubble everywhere tho
Harpers will hev accomplished the purpus,
and will come back permanently to the In
,nocrisy wich they left In 1861, after the var
cut orr the South from ther trade. and the
Republicans refoOssd to hev any paper wich
csricatoofed the rerrilier Linkin.
The fust number We reserved contained q
cartoon based upon the story NV Virginia and
he. father Virginius.
he'd great deal NV trouble to make the
Corners understand the meanin NV the pix.
ter. l he'd to tell 'em that Virginia wuz
the dawter NV Roman offiser, a sort NV
brigKadisr-GenerAl,e ez 1t were, that the En-.
peror wuz in love with hsr, and wuz bound to
have her anyhow, that the gal wus In love
with anuther f,ller, that the Emperor, 70 git
her. had one Of his favorites trump up q story
that she wuz roely his slave, and that this
sneekln cuss brot the girl afore the Emperor,
who NV course gave judgment In favor Of the
sneek, the pint bein to git the gal away from
her father and lover, when she wood be im-
mejitly turned over to him that when judg-
ment was rendered. the father. to save
he gal from fallin into the hands NV the
4 tnhA IxntE h..s- -
stall and killed her.
Deekin Pogrsm remarkt that It wuz a
shameful waste Nv property, that In the good
old days In Kentucky lively gal like that
wood bring $500 in Moo Orleans.
Then went on to show that IN the pikter
Virginia, the innosent gal, stood for the Re.
publikin party, that the crooel Elm peror wich
wux agoin to take her anyhow wus Blaine,
and that Virginius, the father Nv the gal.
wich wux KILN the virgin to prevent her
rom falling into the hands Of Bls ine, wus
the Independent Republican party, made up
mostly Nv Harper's Weekly and Mast, the
artist, wich 1 now hily respect.
They pertendsd to understand It =, but they
didn't II amt classikle ailooshens that
ketches the Corners. They don't know much
about VirgInius, but jist invite 'em over 70
Bascom's That thoy comprehend. My oon-
stitoosnts must be apreeled to IN ostly thro
the bowels.
the piktsr l went TO be and dreomed. The
pikter wuz fresh In my mind Their wuE tho
Independent Republican, labelled lnde-
pendent Republican" so't yoa cooden't mako
some gal, labelled Republican party" so't
yoo c0Oden't make any mistake about that,
and ther wuz the Enperer labelled" Blaine"
so't 700 couden't make any mistake about
him. Mr.. Mast hez to label all his pikters
now, sense he hez lined the Dimocrisy.
TO begin with 1t wuz all In tho dreem list
as It was In tho pikter. Blaine rushed for
ward to seise the Republikin party, and the
andopendsns party, Mr. Guitis seized II the
butcher knife aloft, and wuz agoing to
strike.
Their wuz immejitIy tremendous change
from the pikter. The damsei standin for the
Republikin party wuEn't shrinKin gal at
all, but she was tall, strappin, splendidly
prop0rshened female with muscle onto her.
And the Independent voter wuEn't hardy
soller. with legs like the cedars Nv Lebanon
and muscle like blacksmith, but he wuz a
thtnlexged, narre-cbested, long-haired, sal
loW-fsced dude, with his hair parted In the
middle. He was Q leaning on tho gal instead
OF the oal leanin onto him, and the moment
and It was with great difAkiits that he
stood alone. He was so week without his
natura support that he he'd TO ketch onto .
Southern Wmocrat which stood neer to keep
on his feet at oil, and the shadder OF the
southern Dimocrat hid him from mortal
view. He wobbled,
The order NV things ez wux set down in the
pikter wuznt observed at all. Their wux q
variashen different nom wat the Independent
voter expected.
The fair damsel, the Republikin party,
su idsnly developed great deal Nv muskoler
power and considerable will NV her own. She
riz to her full hito and fetched the lndepend
ont dude ono under the ear that sent him In
one direckshun asd the knife another, and
then she jumped onto the two OF EN-, and KEEP
jumping on EN- Iiil Mr.. Mast didn't know
whether he wuz rast or Curtis and MIR. Our
or Mast. Hevin finished the Independent
party, she rushed Ovor to Blaine and THROWN
hersef in his muscular arms, feposed there
o0nhdinly and ez quietly ez any well-behaved
young female ever did in the arms OF her
Ownest
The Independent party ariz and sed:
Look here, this isn't the way 1t ts, at all
Yoo must permit me 10 k,il yoo to save yer
honor, you know. IF yOo don't, wat becomes
Of me al d harpers Weekly? This won't do
at all. Fall into my arms and be knitted
without maxim all this fuss. Yoo can't live
without mo. yoo know"
- xcoose me. When mako change 1t
won't be to take up with thip-legxed, elna-
sculated atomy like 700. don't like hair
parttd In tie middle and can't love cold
abstrakshuns l don't need TO be killed to
.ave my honor. for Amt quite so weak a
virgin as all thai comes to. don't wear
flower, in my hair and hev quit this
bloc ribbon about my waist sNme time since. |
l know my little biz. don't perpOse to be
killed at all J. q. is q good enuf spouse |
for me, es eshly ez he come at me squarely |
ani capachere1 me honorably, and ez for yoo |
KILN ne, yoo poor thing, you nevn't strength
t,,a atr I'll OF M ant nar N
weeld the knife You I'D, which is nothing
but lath anyhow. The only weapon worthy |
Nv 700 is a knitten needle, i
And she took en- on her thum male and
cracked 'em OF Kentucky woman does nits. |
amt shoor but that the dreem wus pro- |
fetik. 1t does Eird der dawn on me that Har- |
per's " eekly didn't make tho KepubliSin /
party. but that the Republih In party made |
Hsrper's Weekly. And then the story amt |
kinism amt the dawter NV anybody. she IL |
the father. mother, AMI aunt in the ksntry |
NV MIR. Blaine, MIR. Curtis and Mr.. Mast.
She Is stronger than any NV EN-. or all Nv |
apologists or perteekturs. She perteks them.
And ez she heZ remorseles ly killed all Nv |
her children which hev gone back onto her,
think Mr.. Mast and the exceedingly nice pr.
Curtis may ez we'll say ther prayers
MIR. Mast h I'd better quit taken Roman sub |
lex and fly back to the tropix. The best |
thing he kin do is to fall back nn his regler |
pikter Nv an elephant with his back broke |
BY somebody's climbin on to II with the
legend under, "Broken at Last" That Is |
his best holt. He hex outlived every thing |
elsa.
l am satisfied we wasted the 81 collected
to send to Harpers. We coO1 have done Dot |
ter with 1t to have yoosed it at ascom's
PETROLEUM V: Nasty,
(Dreemer.)
Accident.