The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-03-08
A Journalistic Tenderfo0t,

Most every one who has tried the
publication OF a newspaper will call to
mind as he reads this item this morn
ing similar experience, perhaps,
though-perhars not 50 pronouncedand
protuberant.
Early one summer morning gawky
young tenderfoot, bot& as to the West
and the details of journalism, came into
the office and asked me for q Job as a
correspondent to write up the mines in
North Park. He wore his hair longish
and tried to make it curl The result
was a greasy coat-collar and the gen
eral tOat ensemble of the genius smart
Aleck.n He had also clothed himself
in the extravagant clothes of the dime
novel scout and beautiful girl rescuer
of the Indian country. He had been
driven West by wild desire to hunt tho
iiagrant Sioux warrior and do a general
Wild Eill business, hoping no doubt
before the season closed torcscue enough
beautiful captive maidens to get up q
Young Vassar College in Wyoming OF
Montana.
told him that we did not care for a
mining correspon tent who did not know
piece Of blossom rock from a gerani-
UNI. | knew it took a man q GOO many
years to gain knowledge enough to know
where to sink a pr. spe2t slaft even,
and as to passing opinions On vein, it
would seem almost wicked and sacrilc-
gious to send 81 man out there among
those old grisly miners who had spent
their lives in bitter experience, unles:
the young man could readily distinguish
he points OF difference between q chunk
Of free milling quart and a fragment Of
bologna sausage.
He still thought he could write us let.
tiers that would do the paper some
eternal coed, and thorgh told him, as
he wrung my hand and left, to refrain
from writing or doing any work for us,
he wrote a letter he ore be had reached
the home station on the stage road or al
least sent rs long letter from there. Il
might have been written before he
started, however.
The letter was OF the '.we-have went
and '1-have-never-saw'' variety, anC
he spelled curiosity ''qrossity." He
worked ard to get the word into his al
legged letter, and then assassinated it.
Wei, we paid no attention whatever
to the letter, but n eantime he got into
| the mines, and the way he dead-headec
feed and sour mash on the strength o
his relations with the press made thu
| older min,rs weep.
Buck Bramel got little worried ant
wrote to me about it. He said that on
| soFt o,-oJ NJ; c.vopf ,.-aS or1ttip r. u,
good many subscribers and writing
up every little gopher hole in Nortl
| Park. and living on Cincinnati quail, a!
we miners call bacon; but he said tha
! none of these fine blooming letters, re
garding the assays on the ''Wease
! Asleep Tho Pauper's Dream,
The Mary Ellen and 'The Owe
Draft ever seemed to crop out in TIN
paper.
Why was it?
| wrote back that the white eyed pei
lean from the buckwheat-enamelc
plains of Arkaasa 5 had not reunited
was not employed by lis and that
would write and publish little card @
introduction for the bilious littcrateu
that would make people take in thei
domestic animals and lock up their from
fences and garden fountain.
In the meantime they sent him up th
gulch to find some ''s3oat. Ee ha
wandered ava from camp thirty mile
before he remembe ed that he didn
know what float looked like. The
hethought he would 90 back and inquire
Ho got lost while IN dark brown stud
and drifted into the bosom Of the III
movable. He d dn't miss the trail III
til a perpendicular wall of the 70 k
Mountains about 900 feet high, rose u
and hit him athwart the nose.
He communed with nature and COY
otes one night and ha q pretty toug
n time of it. He frole his nose PARTIAL
n off and the coyotes came ard gnawed Ii
n little dimpled toes. He passed
:, wretched night ard was greatly ammo
= ed by the cold, wifi, i mt that elcvatio
sends the mercury toward zero q
e through the summer months.
OF course he pulled the zodiac o
TALLY over him, and tried to button h
alpaca buster q little closer, but h
sleep was troubled by the sociability
the COYOTES and the midnight twitter
the mountain lion lie ate moss a@a
=. rare and spruce gum for breakta~
e When he got to camp he looked like
n fortv-dav staryatiOnist looking for
!. Job.
e They asked him il he found any hoa
lie and he said he didn't lind q blam'
Il drop of water, say nothing about iloG
and then they all laughed 4 merry lau!
and said that if he showed up at daylig
the next morning within the limits
the park the orders were to burn him
the stake.
The next morning neither he nor t
- best bay mule on the Troublesome "
" to be seen with the naked eye. Aft
that we heard of HIM in the San Jul
country,
He had laceratcd the finer feelings
the miners down there and had yiolat
the etiquette of the San Juan, so tn
kicked a -four barrel out from ind
him one day when he was looking t
other way, and being poor tight-ro
performer, he got tangled up in a pie
in of inch rope in such a way that he di
60 of his injuries. Bill Nye, IN Der
es Free Press.
Some malicious fellow, whom
>, law ought to put where he can do
harm, put five bars of soap in the wa
=. tank on the Brunswick u Western Ro;
= near Waycross, Ga, the other day. l
0' n; chit express, hat came along ne