davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
A Texas HumOriSt.

Several Austin gentleman were talk
ing about Mark Twain and other hu,
morists, when young Monroe Jeffsies
who had only been married about .
year, remarked that there was hui
morist in Austin, compared with whom
Mark Twain was nowhere.
"Who is itp' asked one of the gen.
tlemen.
"Pete Lawless, the ticket agent a,
the International depot
SIS that SOP What did he say thai
was so humorous?"
swell, last month, you know, mr.
wife and her mother took me down T.
Houston, to see the Interstate military
drill"
"Yes, l remember seeing you al
there"
"Well, when l was buying the ticknt
Pete asked me if l was going on &
pleasure trip. That struck me as bel az
the most humorous thing had hea 70
in lang time, TEENS Sifsin0s
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Union Pacifc-A marriage between
deaf mutes. OIL City Derrick.
Sleep may knit the raveled sleeve
of care, but it absolutely refuses to darn
holes in socks. Boston Star.
An exchange says orderlies In the
Italian army now use the bicycle in
the performance OF their duties II al
ways seemed to us that all Italy was
ever on the point of revolution. N.
Y. Graphic.
-"American titles of distinction, /"
says the huge, are "Bearon Wall
street, Count Yourchickens, Earl
Ytobed." 0, yes, and there's Duke
Comtobed also, and Prints AlIthenews.
-Burdette.
"A joker says an expeditions mode
Of getting up a row is to carry = long
ladder on your shoulder in crowded
thorodghfare and every few minutes
turn around to see if any one is making
faces at you.
"A conundrum fiend asks: "What
IS the difference between Italy and d
boy who has penchant for shining
up treesp" As if we didn't know thai
one is sunny cline, and the other q
climby son.-Drake's Travellers Maya,
sine.
-"Hello! Johnny, where you've
been all the morningp" asked one ur,
chin Of another as he appeared in the
school-room during the afternoon ses,
sion. "Been fishin','' was the reply.
"Kctch anythin'p" ''Yes-a lickin',"
and the second class in geography
stood up.-Boston Post.
"A man having built large house
was at loss what to do with the rub,
bish. His Irish steward advised him to
have pit dug large enough to contain
it. "And what" said he smiling.
"shall | do with the earth that dig up
from it?'' To which the steward, with
great gravity, replied: "Have the pit
made large enough to hould ALL"
-"That, sir, is very fine quality OF
sugar." said the groceryman. ut is
used mostly for making desserts.
"Why is it used mostly for making
desserts asked the customer "On
account of its superioN quality, SIR"
10, that's itp / thought it might be
used for making desserts on account OF
the large amount of sand in tn.
Y. Sun.
"A Brooklyn girl has prepared her.
self for college by mastering the -four
books of Xenophon's "Anabasis'' and
three of Homer's "Iliad," Arnold's
First Greek" book and "Jones' Com
position" and has read critically the
whole twenty four books of the ..lliad."
When she comes to prepare herself for
matrimony, she will find that the arts OF
frying fritters and sewing on collar-but-
tons are worth all the Greek in the
books. - No7ristoWal Herald.
-"What is the matter with Jim
Hammon?' asked a grain merchant OF
a countryman who had just "got in
with some corn. "Hes got himself
into trouble was the reply. $50 1
hear; but what was the matterp'
"Well, Jeems got too prosperous.
"How can man be too prosperousp"
"Well, Jeems warn't satisfied with rails.
ing the best con an oats, an the best
hssses an cattle; he ha' to raise notes
That's where the trouble began. I .s,ll
you, mar wants to draw the line on
raisip' notes. - Toronto Moa.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
Defences Against Cholera.

II. by any chance the disease prevail
ing at Toulon should be true Asiatic
cholera, and II it should be imported
into this country, our defences have
been rendered such that We have prac-
tically nothing to fear. Thirty years
have Witnessed an enormous difference
in the sanitary state Of England, an,
enormously greater appreciation, among
all classes of people, of the way in
which epidemic maladies should be
controlled, and an enormous increase
in the development OF machinery for
controlling them promptly and energet-
ically. Cholera Is not like the small
pox, which now unhappily prevails in
parts of London, and which admits Of
being diffused through the atmosphere,
or by personal intercourse with the sick.
In this climate, at least, the contagion
of cholera resides in the excretions, and
tie complete chemical disinfection of
these and OF whatever articles of cloth
ing or Of bedding they may have soiled,
affords practically entire immunity
against the spreading Of the disease.
Such being the case, we have now at
every port, in every town, and in almost
every village. a competent sanitary
authority, whose business it would be in
the event of cholera being introduced, to
see that the necessary precautions were
taken against it's diffusion; and it MAY
be confidently affirmed that these pre-
cautions would be eflectual. A case of
cholera imported into this country by
traveller who had received the contagion
abroad would be likely to die out for
want of opportunities of extension,
like lighted paper on stone floor.
The authorities of the ports which are
in the most frequent and direct COM
munication with the South of France
will be thoroughly upon the alert; and
no suspicious case occurring in trav-
eler would be likely to escape their
vigilance. There will be no disturbance
of the ordinary operations and chan.
nels of commerce, no reliance upon the
paper Probabilities Of quarantine, but
state of complete. preparedness to
meet and to disarm the invader if she
should contriye to affect q landing.
Still less, we trust, in such q case, would
there be fight Of panic-stricken per-
sons from their homes. 1t can not be
announced too soon, or too clearly. that
cholera is disease the conditions OF
diffusion of which, as far as temperate
climates are concerned, are fully known.
AMI: that these conditions are such as to
render the work of prevention compare.
tigelv easy.--L0ndoD Times.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
The Old Red School House valedictory.

The old time valedictory poem in use
at the old red "skule houses" at the
crossroads was not as pretty as the
latter-day efforts of the graduate of city
colleges and seminaries, but perhaps
it expresses the sentiments OF the vale
dictorians quite as closely. 1t used to
run something after this style:
Good by scholars,
Good by school;
Good by teacher
Darned old fool.
Buffalo Express
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
Ar TIE sTILE.

We had met. and we had parted.
In the Stiffness heavy hearted,
twas lingering where she left me, at the olden
Torn by warning pride ada sorrow,
All my soul shrank from the morrow.
With its haunting recollections. that no hope
could now beguile.
And the silence, like token
Seemed to ali and thrill the meadows-as her
presence did of yore;
Seemed to trail along the grasses.
Like q mist. that looms and masses
made on shape, till form and shadow blend in
gloom for evermorel
Gone for ever. All was ended.
How-we neither comprehended;
tor, nor youth nor maiden ever yet was known
in tale or song
VINO would own, seif-willed, reliant,
~ ne bad proven harsh, defiant
Nor would she confess impeachment when he
deemed her wholly wrongl
So that hour, born Of gladness,
Crept away in sombre sadness,
While my heart grew sick to anguish with re-
morseful yearnings vain;
Desolate and lost, and lonely,
Still fingered, dreaming only,
III the passion of my longing brought us face
Face to facet But not in dreaming
Did feel the tender beaming
Oh the eyes whose limpid azure smiled On me
thro' pleading tearsl
And leaned to greet my maiden,
With q word all passion laden,
As she murmured. "Let forbearance light
the pathway thro' the years."
And that whisper meek and lowly,
- Sweet as music in the holy
Hush of even, fell divinely on the tumult of
my soul,
Till, like balmy incense stealing
Ger the troubled tide of feeling,
Crept the rapture of an impulse that no ran
cor could control!
And turned, in shame and sorrow,
Kissed the face that else tomorrow
And forever had reproached me with its sad,
upbraiding smile;
And the little hands outreaching
In the pathos of beseeching,
Close within my own / claspt them-and ne
fingered at the stilei
-WintDood Watt, in The Continent
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
MORGANTOWN. WEST SATURDAY. AUGUST

on paper. And make Captain Fortescue
promise to come to lunch, just to show
he bears no malice
Harry put on his best manners, and
accomplished his task well. though he
felt much aggrieved at having to give
up the umbrella. Captain Fortescue
came to lunch, and this time Eliza ad-
mitted him, and blushed as she did so.
London World.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
In the Friends' annual meeting

In the Friends annual meeting at
Newport, recently, one of the young
members Of the association protested
against the custom OF men and women
sitting apart, but nothing was done
toward abolishihg it, although the SEN
.iment of the meeting is said to have
been strongly against separation
~ y. Herald.
The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-02
For Young Readers.
SONG OF THE BROOK.

King Frost comes aud locks me up,
The sunshine sets me free;
frollc with the grave old trees,
And sing right chcerily.
l go to see tho lady flowers,
And make their diamond spray;
The birds fly down TO chat with mo,
Tho children come to rlay.
am the blue sky's lookinsNplass,
hold the rainbow bars;
The moon comes down to visit mo,
Ana brings the little stars.
Oh, merry, merry Is my life
As a gypsy's out of Spainl
TIL grim King Frost comes from the
North
And locks me up again.
Mrs. N. r., Butts, IN -. Nicholas.
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16

The question of division and the for
nation Of new county from-ths west
side of Cass and tue east side of Barnes is
an element of discord in the legislative
contest in both of those counties. 1t was
declared by one delegate in the leglsla'
tive convention at Fargo :he other day
that Cass county is in favor of the divis-
ion. The indications are that this ques-
tiou will bring to the front independent
candidates az anst the regular nominees
in both these counties, and may some-
what ieopardize the election of some of
the candidates. If the people Of Cass are
in favor of the new county scheme, as
claimed, the question will not affect the
candidates in that county TO the extent
that it will in Barnes where large ma
jority OF the citizens seemingly are op-
posed to it, and where their votes will be
governed more by their influence upon
that question than by the nomination
made at Bismarck These county boun-
Diary contests will continue to betrouble-
some affairs until the legislature provides
by law for the changing of county boun :
daries and lines by vote of the people IN
teres:ed and affected by such change.
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16

The intention O.; secretary !Telle1 to
move his office and records to the cit of
Bismarck as soon as the Office in the }ap-
itol building designed for that dephrt.
ment isAcompleted is one that is we}shy
of any law abiding citizen and sfac6 Of
the territory. As he was perfectly jtsti-
fed in refusing to remove his ofhke to
that city in compliance with the orcfr Of
Gov. Ordway in the face and in defiance
of the decision of Judge Edgerton outing
the capital commission and rendering in
valid all their acts IN regard to re4oval
of the capital, he. is now justified b re-
moving to that city in pursuance d the
decision of the supreme court OF tb ter.
ritory reversing the decisisn Of the lower
court and rendering valid the acts bf the
capital commission In removing IL cap
ital. Judge Edgelton's decision WAs the
law otithe territory on the .subje4 until
the question was passed upon by the su-
preme court and the decision psteysed,
and this last decision is now the lA1 upon
the subject until set aside by c{urt of
higher jurisdiction and it s the duty OF
every good and loyal citizen to pbey it
and recognize. Bismarck as the capital.
All the machinery Of the territorial gov
teznment will soon be in operation ht Bis
marck in magnificent capitol building
provided without cost to the peepk.
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16
The recent assumed republican conven

The recent assumed republican conven-
ton for the llth legislative district held
at H,lsboro, called the "bolterss eonven-
tion,'' adopted platform longer than
that o, the national republican conven
ton, one plank of which denounces the
,'free pass system of brib,ng members Of
the legislature ny railroad companies and
demands that the nominees use their best
efforts to secure the passage of a law ma
king it penal offence for any represen.
tative or public officer to accept a pass
from railroad company. That all looks
very nice on paper aud sounds welk IN a
platform, but i y the same baiderdash
tha, was given to, the people to. catch the
granger vote during the. craze of that or
ganization as political factor down N
the western states a few years ago. Il
is mere claptEsp to catch the vote OF thu
farmas up IN that sectlsn where there il
hot contention between the farmers ant
the Manitoba railroad company. In
idea that any legislature Will ever lnak
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16

identified entered Into combination with
the Pettigrew faction to make up slate
for the convention which slate was bro
ken Immediately after the nomination OF
Pettigrew for the council, and the anti
Pettigrew candidates for the assembly
were slaughtered, hence the kick of the
Leader. The Press Of that city, howev.
er, sees the result in different light and
declares that everything was done fairly
and honorably. An effort Is being made,
and probably will succeed, to bring out
an independent ticket. but it will not
likely haye the ghost of chance Of cleo
ton. Those who 60 into combinations
for the purpose of making up slate usu-
ally find very little sympathy among tho
people if they get left IN working out the
scheme. Contracts of this kind are not
regarded as very binding even upon the
parties who enter into them, much less
so on outside parties. About oil the de-
feated party can do is to kick the air or
themselves
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16

The irrepressiblc Judge Brookings, of
Sioux Falls, is now posing as reformer
and independent and would accept a seat
in the territorisl legislature. The Judge
is somewhat after the style Of Butler in
politics, having been republican and dem
ocrat and now party to himself. AS
pointer to his ideas of reform he gives
out to the public through his organ, the
Sioux Falls Leader, that he is in favor of
REVISING the laws of the territory on al
most every subject and indicates m.ny
ways in which he "may be useful' to the
people as legislator. The Leader says
that "Judge Brookings is not seeker for
Office bat will ever be found against such
frauds as the election of Raymond two
years ago and the majority Of the last
legislature" The judge will never be
able to reconcile the election of Mr.. Ray.
mond over himself for delegate two years
ago, with the idea that people are capa-
BILE Of self government. He said at the
time that the people made great mistake
In elecsing Mr. Raymond and time semss
to have confirmed him in the opinion,
though he is probably the only man IN
the territory that thinks so. There have
been some criticisms made upon Mr.. Ray
mond's efficiency as delegate to congress
but no one in all the territory has ever
expressed regret that Brookings was not
elected except the judge himself. In cas-
the people of the Sioux Falls dis,ri;t
should not desire the reform through the
legislation now proposed the judge might
do something In the interests of the dear
people IN the "third holse' on his own
recognizance.
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16

THE opinions Of newspapers on a given
subject differ almost if not quite as wide.
ly as those of uninspired writer's and
speakers. Some say Raymond was de-
feateu at Pierre by Alex. Mckenzie. of
Bis marck. Some that he was defeated
by X. +. Pettigrew, of Sioux Falls. Some
that his defeat was effected by Maj. Ed
wards, Of Fargo. Others that he was de-
teated by Col. Steele, of kdder county.
Still others thai he was snutfed out by
the chairman of the convention, and not
few believe in their heart of hearts that
his "fool friends'' defeated him. Taking
these opinions all together the conclusion
would be that he was thoroughly defeat
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16

The question rs to whether the tail shal
wag the dog or the dog the tail is agltat-
ing the party. A convention was attemp.
ted to be held in this city last Wednesday
Oct. Stb, but it was only held on the
principle that where two or three arc
assembled together in the name of democ.
racy there will the spirits of Jefferson a nd
Jackson be IN their midst. Burleigh, the
snly possibly democratic county in the
district, failed to show up either by del
egates in person or by proxy in spirit.
Burleigh, in the county convention,
had gene of after the strange gods of the
republican party and endorsed Williams,
the republican candidate for the legisla-
ture. All efforts by telegraph failed to
bring any answer back from the Plutonl-
an shore OF the democracy on the Big
Muddy as to why Burlelgh county demo-
Gratis failed to show up at the conyentlon.
The same omlnous silence was the answer
to like inquiry CT Morton and Kidder
COUNTIES.
There was not unfounded feeling
that the democrats of the Missouri river
counties had "lald down on" the party,
and with this idea of the situation G. b.
Vallandigham, of Valley City, who is re-
lated by the ties Of consanguinity to the
late democratic champion of Ohio, Hon.
G. L. Vallandigham, during the suspense
of waiting in vain for an explanation of
the non-appearance of the delegates from
Burleigh, Morton and Kidder, evolved
some resolutions reading these counties
out of the rights, privileges and benefits
of this convention and all claims to the
honor of any of the nomina natlons, which
were unanimously adopted when the con
vention re-assembled in the evening:
This action on the part of the convention
will be taken by the democrats cf the
counties named as absoiving them from
all obligations to support the ticket, and
will render doubly sure the defeat of the
candidates nominated. The action Of the
democrats over on the west eide of the
district in Ignoring the convention with
out giving any explanation fer so doing
was felt to be an intended insult to the
democracy of the counties represented, !,
and the delegates pre- sent were disposed to
take up the gauntlet thrown down by the
Missouri river democrats. "When Greek
meets Greek then comes the tug of war;"
and while the republicans will regret this
family unpleasantncss in the democratic
legislative household, they are not IN any
way responsible for it.
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16
CHERE seems to be question Of vera

CHERE seems to be question of verac-
1t, between Mr.. Blame and Warren Fish
er in reference to the Mulligan letters
which will probably be decided in the
mnds of the people. more by their desires
than by the weight Of evidence. The dem.
orats will unanimously agree that Fisher
lisa paragon of truth and conscientious
h.ner. while The republicans will with
equal unanimlty vote him an unmltiga.
td liar and conscienceless scoundrel.
Tie character which Fisher gives himself
bdore the public is that of 60 between,
afhe represents that he acted as middle
rAp in the attempted negotiations for the
hsRyyan letters; in other words, " be-
.isg tncuffuU0h WIN Bixfne IN IN. attempt
y receiver. and put beyond the;reach of
Investigating committees this evidence of
corruption. This being the character of
the accusing witness it may not unrea.
sonably be suspected that he is acting in
the employ of the democratic party for a
consideration. If FISHERS story be true
he net snly acted corruptly in the premls'
es bimself but he basely betrayed the con-
fidence Of Blaine, and if it be not true he
is If possible worse.
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16
THE Sioux Falls Leader makes terri1

THE Sioux Falls Leader makes terrific
kick over the result of the recent legisla-
tive convention held at that place, and in
q double. loaded column article den0unces
the action Of the delegates in throwing
overheard some Of the supposed to be
solid candidates, all, it declares to be, in
the interest Of r. +. Pettlgrew and by
direction Of his Italian hand. The Lead
e, becomes Aromatic and declares that
s.wAe1e treachery is law, to bolt is patriot
ism" 1t labores to prove that 10 bolt il not
to belt under certain Circumstances and
this u enc Of that kind Of circumstances.
Taking the Leaders own statement as
the facts il the case it seems that one ei
the factions With which the Leader was
Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925, 1884-10-16

UGH has been and continues to be the
ex,nt of imposition practlced upon the
chritably disposed people of the whole
contry by unworthy mendicants and
traps that movement has been set on
fos to organize charity against such i'm
potion. AS rule the worthy will al
MT starve before they will beg and the
uusrthy will beg before they will work.
Th question is difficult one to solve but
1t emands solution. The army Of lazy
trnps who annually migrate on walk
lniteur from the south to the north dur
inIthe. summer, to return in the fall, sub.
slson the generous charity of the people
wb as rule askcno questions when re-
gust is made upon them for something
toat by these unworthy and often inso-
leE knights of the road. The people
gls on the principle that it is better to
below charity upon an unworthy apph-
cat than to take the risk of refusing it
to! deserving person.
he only way to rid the country of the
tramp nuisance and pest is the enactment
oftringent vagrant laws and rigidly en-
focing them. In this country oflmagnifi-
Get enterprises and diversified industries
thre is ns..excuse for industrlously in
clied persons being idle and rowing
abut On fsot eyer the country from year
to'ear in search Of work, which, by the
Wy, they do net desire to find. If an
INDUSTRIOUS man cannot get work at two
doars day he will work for one dollar,
an If he cannot get that amount he will
wrk for less. If he cannot get situa-
tio as bank cashier or clerk he may.as q
plw hand or ditcher. College graduates
a. sometimes found using shovel as a
setion hand on . railroad, and it is no
dicredit to such to be found engaged In
srh labor. The dignity of labor is re-.
cUnized by all except the snob and the
fs.l.