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The Press., 1884-06-05
Home Item S..
KdO1nG te1LASs
 -''All your own fault If you remain sick when you can Get Hon RItterS that Deyer-FniI

-'sAll your own fault
 If you remain sick when you
 Get Hop Bltters that never-Fai
 The weakest woman, smallest child, and sickest invalid can use hop bitters with safety and great good. Old men tottering around from Rheuma- tism, kidney trouble or any weakness will be made almost new by using hop bitters.
 My wife and daughter were made healthy by the use of hop bitters and I recommend them to my weople ple-Methodist Clergyman Ask any good doctor if hop Biters not the best family medicine
 -Malarial fever, Ague and Biliousness, will leave every neighborhood as soon as hop bitters arrive.
 My mother drove the paralysis and neu- ralgia all out of her system with hop bitters. ' | Ed OSsoego Sun. Keep the kidneys healthy with hop bit. ters and you need not fear sickness. Ice water is rendered harmless and more refreshing and reviving with hop bitters in each draught .s~
 The vigor of youth for the aged and in firm in hop bitters | At the change of life nothing equals | Hop bitters to allay all troubles incident
 ''The best periodical for ladies to take monthly and from which they will receive the greatest benefit is hop bitters."
 Mothers with sickly, fretful, nursing children will cure the children and benefit themselves by taking hop bitters daily.
 Thousands die annually from some form of kidney disease that might have been pre- vented by timely use of bitters.
 Indigestion weak stomach, irregularities of the bowels, cannot exist when hop bitters are used.
 A timely use of hop Bitters will keep whole family | In robust health year at little cost.
 To produce real genuine sleep and child like repose all night, talk little hop bitter, on retiring.
 That Indigestion or stomach gas at night preventing rest and sleep, will disappear by using hop bitters a .r- -Paralytic, nervous, tremulous old ladie are made perfectly quiet and sprightly by us ing hop bitters.
The Press., 1884-06-05

THE DRUGGIST told me to buy bottle of Palmer's Little Liver Pills, and I did. It was just what I needed for biliousness and constipation, and now I am as well as ever.- A Marobant
The Press., 1884-06-05

Nextsto the love of her husband, noth- ing so crowns woman,s life with honor as the devotion of a sons to her. We never knew knew a boy tosturh out badly who began by falling in loyeiwith his mother. Any man may fall in love with fresh faced girl, and the man $who IS gallaut to the girl may cruelty neglect the poor, weary wife in after years But the big boy who is q lover of his mother at mid ale age is true knight and will love his wife in the sere leaf of Autumn as he did in the daisied Spring. There is nothing SO beautifully chiva1rous as the love of a big boy for his mother1
 TIE WONDER suf AfEN. Palmer's Rheumat- ic and Neuralgia Remedy Is not 8 St. Jacobs, St. Joseph's, nor indeed any relation of any of these so-called departed saints. It is a blessing to the human race, however, and does what no other precaeltion has ever done before It will permanently cure those who suffer the excruciating agenies of rheumatism and Neuralgia.
 Feeble urchin: 'sI say, ma, my head aches. I'm going to stay home from schoo this afternoon" Solicitous maternal ances tor: ''Well my dear, Pm sorry. Stay al home and rest It may do you good" Three hours later feeble urchin rushes into the house with cheeks agIow. 'I tell you we hac nifty game. Eighteen to fifteen. I played short. Gimme suthin' feat"
 COMPANY SHOPS. M M Shoffner, Post master and Justice of the Peace, Company Shops, Alamance Co.,, N, O., writes, he ha. used St. Jacobs Oil for rheumatism, cuts swelled ankles and knees. pains i'll the bacl and sore-fhroat. One ort two applications il each case has always cured, and he believes the Great German Remedy is the best in thu world. ''As long as cah get it," he adds ''I never intend to be without it."
 DoN'T GIVE IT UP So.-SOh ! if I had onl, known that in time" Known what :? ''Knowl that simple cold in the head may develol into chrof{ic Chtarrh.' We'll, it isn't too late for Ely's Cream Balm will cure catarrh ever after the sufferers life has become burdel | to him, and he @ nuisance to his friends. I it the only radical and thoroughly scientifi catarrh cure known..--.Not a snuff. Not liquid. Applied 10 the.nostrils with the fin ger. Price fifty cents. <
 UNABLE TO TE11.-Yea, that was so. Flo years suffered severely with scrofula sore broke out all over my body, and am unabl able to obtain relief until used Sulphur Bit ters, which completely cured me.-C. B. DALE IT Allston street, Boston.
 1 QUAKER BITTERs are as unlike any othe preparation as they are superior to all othe medicines. The materials, methods, and pro portions of the compound are the result 0 the long and successful experience Of phal macist used to putting up prescriptions fo many years. Every article is warranted pur and unadulterated.
The Press., 1884-06-05

No life can be we'll ended that has not been we'll spent and what life has been we'll spent that has had no purpose, that has accomplish ed no object. that has realized no hopes
The Press., 1884-06-05
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

MIMI. A. COMINS, Horse and OK
 w Shoeng, Machine Forgings and Repairing done to orer Also, builder and repairer of all styles of Wagons South-st., Stafford Springs.
The Press., 1884-06-05

SALLY LUNN.-Add to one quart sifted flour, loosely measured, one measure each of acid and soda Cor two heapipg teaspoonfuls acid and one moderate heaping teaspoonful soda) of Horsford's Bread Preparation, and one .teaspoonful salt, and thoroughly mix them ed as above, the yolks of four eggs well beat en, one teacupful sweet milk, and last of all, the whites of the eggs well beaten.
 'sThe Wages of Sim is new drama just put on in a New York theater. One of the acts was unexpectedly given in Wall stneet,
 While permanent cure of Rheumatism and Neuralgia through the agency of Athl6- phoros must depend on it's power to expel the poisonous and provoking acids from the sys- tenn, it at the same time possesses wonderful potency ill immediately alleviating the tor ture, ipyigorating muscular action, and linn bering stiffened joints. Says Rev. A. S.. Cooper, of Williston, Vt: Twelve hours use of Athlophoros greatly removed pain from my system and rendered the muscles so'sup- pie that could get up and down with ease J
 There is nothing more sure, we take it. than that those who are the most alert in discover ing the faults of work of genius are the least touched with its beauties.
 IT IS NO WONDER that so many people sink into untimely graves when we consider how they neglect their health. They have dis ordered Liver, deranged Bowels, Constipa ton, Piles or diseased Kidneys, but they lei | it go and think they twill get over it." II grows worse, other and more serious compE cations follow and soon it is too late to save them. If such people would take Kidney Wort it would preserve their lives. It acts upon the most important organs purifying the blood and cleansing the system, removes anc prevents these disorders and promotes health
 Berkley A hopeless person is deserted by himself; and he who forsakes himself, i' soon forsaken by his friends and fortune.
 Eg-To MATCH THAT BONNET? Feathers ribbons, velvet can all be colored to mattel that new hat by using the diamond Dyes. 10' for any color at the druggists. Wells, Rich ardson & Co.,, Burlington, Vt. ,"
 Jones: He who sins against men may fea discovery but he who sins against God i sure of it.
 THE DRUGGIST told me to buy bottle O Palmer's Little Liver Pills, and I did. I was just what I needed for biliousness ant constipation, and now am as we'll as ever.- A Merchant.
 No life can be we'll ended that has not bee1 we'll spent; and what life has been we'll spen that has had no purpose, that has accomplish ed no object, that has realized no hopes?
 HoRsFoRDs BREAD PREPARATION is tn strongest baking powder made Try it. 1
 To REPAIR DAMAGES. Dear lady, there i probably no use telling you that fashionabl life in great city is a rough one on you beauty. Late hours, loss of sleep and menta excitement vii leave you by and by shorn o those beautiful tresses which drew lover around you other years, Artificial substi tutes can never pass for those rich and gloss locks. Parker's Hair Balsam will stop you hair from falling out, restore its natural colo and softness, and prove cleansing and Der efcial to the scalp.
The Press., 1884-06-05

'sThe Wages of Sim is new drama just put on in a New York theater. One of the acts was unexpectedly given in Wall stl eet.
The Press., 1884-06-05

LA It fortifes my soul to know That, though perish, Truth is so; That, howsoe'er stray and range, Whate'er do, Thou dost not change. steadier step when recall
 That, if slip, Thou dost not fall.
 -Arthur Huqh Clouqh.
The Press., 1884-06-05

That weak back or pain in the side or hips you will find immediately relieved when g Hop Plaster is applied. It strengthens the muscles, giving the ability to do hard work without suffering. Take none but this, 'tis
The Press., 1884-06-05
Volume 27. Number 10.

GIRL. Maybe a man feels happy and proud and flattered and envied and blessed amongst men when he sees pretty girl trying to raise window of 8 railway car and he jumps up and says: "Allow me ?' oh, so courteously, and she says s'Oh, if you please; I would be so glad, and the other male passengers turn green with envy and he leans over the back of the seat and tackles the window in a knowing way with one hand, if peradventure he may toss it airily with simple turn of the wrist, but 1t kind of holds on and he takes hold with both hands, but it sort of doesn't 20 to any alarming extent, and he pounds it with his fist, but it only seems to settle "a leetle closer into place, and then he comes around and she gets out of the seat to give him 8 fair chance and he grapples that window, and bows up his back, and tugs, and pulls, and sweats, and grunts. and strains, and his hat falls off, and his suspender buttons fetch loose, and his vest buckle parts, and his face gets red, and his feet slip, and people laugh, and irreverent young men in remote seats grunt and groan every time he lifts, and cry out, "Now then, all together" as if in mockery, and he bursts his collar at the forward button, and the nretty young lady, vexed at being made so Conspicuous, says in her iclest manner. "Oh, never mind-thank you, 1t doesn't make any difference" and calmly goes away and sits down in another seat, and that wearied man gathers himself to- gether and reads a book upside down-oh, but doesn't he feel good? Maybe he isn't happy, but if you think he isn't, don't be fool enough to extend any of your sympa- thy. He doesn't want 1t.
The Press., 1884-06-05

A DRuaG1sr SAYs.-Marvin c. Brown, Drug
 gist, Meredith Village, N. H., says: have sold your Sulphur Bitters for years, and, con-
 trary to most medicines, never sold bottle
 to any one who said it did not help them.
 They cured me of those terrible sick head aches when every other remedy failed. When Baby was. sick, we gave her Castoria, When she was Child, she cried for Castoria, When she was Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria.
The Press., 1884-06-05

DISHES WASHED WITH Pyles's Pearline are never rough and always free from grease and l odor of any kin1 Beware of limitations.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
What u Woman Can DO.

Women are too modest, and have
been too long suppressed by the tyrant
man to assert their just claims to su-
pcriority over the lord Of creation.-
But there are lots of things that a wo-
man can do that 4 man cannot.
A woman can hold moro clothes
Pins in her mouth and talk through q
knot hole in the fence at the same time
than man cAn.
A woman can arrive at a conclusion
without the slightest trouble Of reason-
ing on it, and no sane man can do that
Six of them can all talk at once and
get along lirst-ratc, and no two men
can DO that.
She can safely stick fifty pins in her
dress while he is getting one under his
thumb-nail.
She can button her shoes standing
up, with both feet on the floor, and he
cant.
She is as cool as cucumber in half
a dozen tight dresses and skirts, while
a man will:swcat and fumc and growl
in one loose shirt.
She can talk as sweet as peaches and
cream to the woman she hates worst,
while two men would be punching each
others heads before they exchanged
ten words
Size can throw stone with curve
that would be a fortune to base ball
pitcher; and finally, she can drive a
man crazy for twenty-four hours and
then bring him back to paradise in two
seconds by simply tickling him under
the chin, and there does not live that
mortal son of Adams misery who can
DO it.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
Two things ut Once.

Among the many anecdotes of Sir
Edwin Landseer contained in recent
biography, is one about the famous ar
lists mastery of hand.
At large party in London, the con-
versation turned on dexterity and feats
OF skill with the hand a lady remark.
ed
"Wel], there is one thing no one has
ever done, and that is, draw two pic
lures at the same moment
ooh, | can do that" said Landseer,
"lend Inc two pencils and l will show
you"
The pencils were handed him,
piece of paper laid on the table, and
Sir Edwin drew simultaneously and
without hesitation, with one hand the
profile Of Il stag's head, all its antlers
complete, and with the other the per-
feet profile Of a horse head.
Both subjects were said to be full of
life and energy, and the drawing with
the left hand fully equal to the one
made with the right.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
Church Directory.

Reformed Church-Rcv. II. Wissler, pas
tor Weekly Lectures Tuesday evening"
Meeting of Ladies' Aid Society every second
Wednesday evening. Regular services by
appointment from the pulpit.
Lutheran Church-Rev W. c. Wire, pas
tor. Services, Sunday 10 4. N and $50 p.
NJ. Sunday School B. p NJ. Prayer Meet
ing, Wednesday, Gas P N.
Protestant Episcopal Chuwh-Rev. Ern-
eat NcGill, Rector. services Sunday, 10 a,
n and :15 z. N. Sunday School 600 p.
Il.
Moravian Church, (3I-chan.cstown) Rev
i. w Shields, Pastor. Preaching every sun,
day, alternating morning Ini tv"Alnf.-
Prayer Meeting every Friday evening. sun
day School O'Clock, .. IN.
Morayan Church (Graceham) Rev, E. w.
Shields, Pastor
Preaching every Sunday. alternating NOR
ming and evening.
Mite Society every Monday evening,
PRAYER Meeting every "Wednesday evening
Ladies Sewing Circle every Thursday
evening at the Parsonage.
United Brethren Church Mite Society
Second and Fourth " Wednesday,,
Sunday School . F. VI,
Prayer Meeting every Thursday evening
Regular Services hy appointment from The
pulpit.
Method.t Episcopal Church-Rcv G N
Berry, Pastor Services every A,trrrat,
unday ~ 10 A. Nj. Sdn,iay School A. u
PRAYER Meeting every alternate Sunday at :
p. NJ
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
"Send for Mother"

"Dear me 1t wasn't enough for me
to nurse and raise family of my own,
but now when | am old and expect to
take little comfort here, it is all the
time "send for mother" And the dear
old soul growls and grumbles, but
dresses herself as fast as she can, not
withstanding. After you have trotted
her off, and got her safely in your
home, and she flies around administer
ing her remedie, and rebukes by turns,
you feel easier. 1t is right now, or
soon will be---mother's comel
In sickness, no matter who is there
Or how many doctors quarrel over your
case, everything goes wrong, somehow,
till You send for mother.
In trouble the first thing you think
of is "Send for mother"
But this has its ludicrous as we'll as
its touching aspect. The verdant young
couple, to whom baby's extraordinary
grimaces and alarming yawns. which
threaten the dislocation Of It's chin its
wonderful sleeps, which it accomplish
cs with its eyes half open, and no per-
ceptible futter Of breath on its lips
causing the young mother to imagine
it's dead this time, and to shrek out,
"Send for mother" in tones of an
gu1sh-this young couple in the light
Of experience with three or four babies
bring, find they have been ridiculous
and given mothers good many trots
for nothing
Did anyone ever send for mother
and SIZE full to come ? Never, unless
sickness or the inlirmities OF age pre-
vented her. AS when, in your child
hood, those willing feet responded to
your call, SO they still DO, and will
continue to do as long as they are able.
And when the summons comes which
none yet disregarded, though it will be
a happy day for her, it will be dark,
sad one for you, when God. too, will
send for your mother.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
WIFI he u Politician.

A little boy and girl playing in the
yard. The girl finds an apple under q
tree, and with an exclamation Of de-
light, begins to bite it.
Hold on, said the boy. "Throw
it away The cowly is CONN., an if
you cat that apple you will be took
sick an you cant talk, an the doctor
will come All give you some bad med
cine, an then you will die
The girl throws the apple down,
and the boy snatching it up, begins to
eat it.
"Don't," the girl cries. won't it
kill 90, too?'
"No," said the boy, munching the
fruit, "it won't kill boys. It's only af-
ter little girls. Boys don't have cowly.
That boy will be a great politician.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
No. z.
Advice to Young Men.

Young men, if you are not rich, and
can get only lazy and extravagant
wife, better remain single. The woman
who goes Into matrimony for an easy
life of it; who labors only in studying
places for squandering her money; who
spends time in wearing fine clothes and
giving and receiving visits; who will
not look out for economy in the kitch-
en- and other departments of the house.
hold-ifyou marry such woman be-
fore you have secured very large in.
come, your nose will be kept to the
grindstone of poverty and toll always.
Few men can stand up we'll and long
under slavery of this kind. Their
ambition collapses, and they settle
down to abject, hopeless penury; or they
commit suicide or run away as default
ers. Let us again enjoin you, if you
can get none but a lazy, extravagant
wife, and are fully persuaded that you
Can no longer exist in "single blessed
ness" get unto you a big loaded gun,
and go into the woods and shoot your
self. Better do this right now than
endure the torment that is surely laid
up for you and others for whoseiwelfare
you would make yourself responsible.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
The Art of Early Rising.

The proper time to rise, says the
Lancet, is when sleep ends. Doing
should not be allowed. True sleep is
the aggregate of sleeps, or is a state
consisting of the sleeping or rest of all
the several parts Of the organization,-
Sometimes one and at other times an
other part of the body, as a whole, may
be the least fatigued and therefore the
most difficult to arouse. The secret Of
good sleep is, the physiological con,
ditions of rest being established, so to
worry and weary the several parts of
the organization as to give them a pro-
portionally equal need Of rest at the
same moment and to wake early and
feel ready to rise, a fair and equal start
of the sleeper should be secured and
the wise self-managcr should not allow
a drowsy feeling of the consciousness
or weary senses, or an exhausted mus
cular system, to beguile him into the
folly of going to sleep again when he
once has been aroused. After very
few days of self-discipline, the man who
IT solves not to dcze, that is, not to al
low some sleepy part of his body tc
keep him in bed after his brain has
once awakened, will find himself, with.
ont knowing why, an early riser.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
NnlY a1eC&e.

Mother! mother" cried a young
crow, returning hurriedly from its first
flight, "Im SO frightenedl I've seen such
u sight"
What sight, my son ?' asked the old
crow.
"Oh, white creatures, screaming and
running and straining their necks and
holding their heads ever so high. See,
mother! there they go!'
"Geese, my son-merely geese!'
calmly replied the parent bird, looking
over the common. "Through life, child,
observe that when you meet any one
who makes great fuss about himself
and tries to lift his head higher than
the rest of the world, you may set him
down at once as a goose"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
Got In his Paper.

A man went into Williamsport
newspaper office last Thursday and
said to the editor
81 want to get place on your pa
per-
"Just in time" observed the editor.
Here you are; sign your name on
this"
The fellow did SO, and the editor
held it up and shook it. He had en-
dorsed promissory note for five hun
dred dollars. 1t is easy enough to get
on an editors paper, but it's hard work
to get off some times.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
Coughs. Colds, Ea!arrb, Con-
kUynDiS SDgs,
r. L. EiGcksGasc.

All Throat, Breast, and Lung Affections
cured by the od-es'ailishcd "SWAI HE'S
WILD CHERRY The first dose gives re-
lief, and y speedy cure follows % Cts, or
81 90 at Druggists.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
Mchannsbwn Frederick County, Maryland Thursday Ot z, 1884,
An Old-Tfn,e Tragedy.
A vivgInian Sensation Re-
called by an Epstaph.
Horrible Revenge OF a Husband When
His Villsiny was Unmasked.

A correspondent, who is travelling
about in Virginia, has found among
the numerous moss grown old tomb
stones IN the graveyard of Williams
burg one which bears the following in
scription:
Sacred to the Memory Of
Sarah SpmphilI
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02
BALTIC. s. G.. Y. RAILROAD.

Trains leave Edgcmont for Wayncsboro,
Chambersbarg AMI Shippcnsburg daily cA-
ccpt Sunday at 722 and i.i0 A. NJ and 7.4o
p. N. ;on Sunday at 9.5Qa. IN. and $50 p. NJ.
Trains for Elgcmont leave daily Shippcns-
burg at $40 A. NJ. and 30 and 8 95 p NJ,
Chambershury at G 45 A. NJ, l,55 and 400
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-10-02

Sufferers from the effects of Qulninc,
used as u remedy for chills and fever,
will appreciate Ayers Ague Cure, a
powerful tonic bitter, composed wholly
of vegetable substances, without par
tice Of any noxious drng. It's action is
peculiar, nrompt and powerful, break
ing up the chiIl curing the fever, and
exp,lling the poison from the system,
yet leaving no harmful or unpleasant
effect upon tie system.