davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
Lett lt to His SERVANT

A young gentleman had been boast
ing to lady friend. married. about his
duck shooting, which, he declared. was
the most difficult of sports. He said
he never came back without q lot Of
victims, and promised. the next time he
went shooting, to send her couple of
the results. He gave her notice he
was going and he went. He got
no ducks, but his reputation was
at stake. He sought the usual
refuge of frolen-out sportsmen, the
market; but. unfortunately, left the
commission of purchasing and sending
the ducks to his servant. Two DAYS
after he went to call on the lady. She
was profusely grateful for the ducks.
and, just as he was leaving, sne begged
him to come and see them prepare I.
They sought the veranda. and there in
the yard at the back Of the house strobe
up and down two tame ducks, quack-
luacking with lively delight. He had
no words.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16


Threadbare dignity 10 hard Ga sustain.
Almost anybody of saiiicieui height aud
girth can easily enough bs pur,ly whils
his brossleloth 10 new; but when The
fabric OF his exterior pFesensab.l.ty h
frayei at the elbows aud greaay at the
collar q gr~at deal Of stamina 10 re-
qu.site or eise tho structure goes io
pieces more or les. The man whom
studied 90 this conclus on was big.
headed and gray. thick and vssy
straight. composed aud severe. and IN
all aspects millionaire except q 10 The
dilapidation Of his apparel. He re-
joined comraie In The reslins RON
Of . Broadway hotel. and ! eosldn't
help overhcaring thar converse, on.
Did you get it'' asked the ons whe
hal evidently waited hopsiuily fcr The
outcome Of small hssneial sxpsd,tios.
mo. did not. sir. was che reply ol
digniiicd lisconsolation.
But you said he'd give you Aver -
soon ~ he looked 81 youyT
-soI did say. and 40 I did thint. But
mo mission. simply and sure ~ u
seemed, csme into encounter with m.
foreseen and disastrous v,csssitudeA.
Listen. my friend
Whom he said me" for my knsw
that he was an actor. and u wss I'm.
mediately revealed that he he'd called
on q theatre manager for loan.
That man In deep ~ The sea. and hs
co, ers his dangerous. hidden rocks lke
the rap is Of Niagara fsasio Pom.
posio continued. Look you, friend
he had diggrd . pit st his very door
way for mo self-possession 10 fall into.
How Why. cir. the entry IL dsrk and
the floor slopes rather abruptly Just -
you como 10 the sill. The ineiins
catches you unawarss. aud you stumble
into his presence instead of quistly
walking In. IRON the moment of
that entrance me case was hopeless.
What wonder that ] set mo hat on his
desk with tho rem, toward him. thrust
mo arm into tear In my oyercoas In.
stead OF tho slecvs.hols, aud became On
abiect beggar rather than . casual and
quite unaccusto med borrowery No,
comrade. / did not get Is. No offered
me o cents. and | took it."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
ThE FINEST CAR
- tee Wsvia. op~stss~t for n seuth
As~vtras pre.td~Wt.

Wilmington News
Tho finest ear ever constructeL has
Jus, beru bull, for the use of the preSl.
den, of the NJ l"nt,ne liepub!ic. The
whole ffamew ~ tho ear ~ IL iron
ma q of ehaunel aud cycbeams cross
blSk"i with iron tubes Evol the
tsls,forn, framework IL uf iron instead
VI wool Tho whole rx'erior OF the
ear body. both frame aud ,ancls. ~
built ~ solid San Domingo mahogany.
aud u presents most striking appear
sncs. n IA. cent.r panel ~ rm.
hls oned tho coat of arms of the Argen-
time ! epuhlic The letter boards ON
VI. sl'le- contain tho word 'f.rfo Car
~ Andin"." 10th platforms are IN.
csos"d at the sides " .th sol.d maho ,any
psn-le,i door.
The different compartments of the
esr are finishel in mahogany. cherry
and oah. richly carved by hani The
'eihng- are ~ oak. .laboratelv orna
man,'~l with q | I hrop q and colo =. IN
lad With carved panels and bron -
plslass Tie deck li9hts ere Of emi.
bo-s'-t glass In pivot.i sash. aud
arurn MI the base 10 border ~ Wall 81
Troy ~ mar .netrie. Prndani from the
ce,l,ng sr" eiaborateiy ornamented
double nickel plated chaud-licrs
4 he fow of tho entire car IL
of herr, nni maple, and IL covered
with carpet o. the richest ASmin,ter II
neat patterns The windows are
unusually large. with double mahogany
sash. each containing n French plate
sia.- su inches. They are htted
with spring roller cu,tain. and lambre.
quins of t,pe-t,y. lined With Florentine
siik hunt on mahogany poles. The
ends OF the ear anil all Of the bulk
head ssr car,esl Ivy hand. many.os the
iesGss oa ths panels representing
di.iefent varieties of birds an water
fowl. being specimens of artistic skill.
The vestii,ule itself ~ grand hut the
main sahsn is On apartment of almost
oriental tusury. the hulkheal.. sides
and all ths paneling being most elabor
steiy carved aud the OAK ceiling inlaid
With costly csv,sd Panels and bronze
vmk. II contains hve beveled pl ,te
muroru, the largest being -four feet
square 1he biuc tapestry curta ls. in
ADDITION to tho rich liniup of loren
tho silk. ere hpng with silk 'ssssls.
Neat 10 thu salon IL the pres dents
stat" room. containing perma-
n~nt bed, suppl oil with mat.
tsrs- emil matt s~n spring. led.
ding. banke's. connterpanes Md q
spf-sl aud pillow sham. of Wilt hand
made lace. ! ned ~ith ci crry m.k. and
esassn~ute,l With Me u,o6ogran Of the
Afssn,Inr ltepnblic IN Tho ccntcr Of
each. u Il hung th TnrcomAn cur
tains aud has drawers beneath for bed
linen. perspnsl un,erwess. etc. Oppo-
site s,assl. q mahogany sscrstsrs and
carved la L mahogany chars. up
hoi tered In rut' and plush. AL o,n.
me th. stat room ~ u private toilet
room, furnished IN esk. witha wardrobe
VIM be,slrd MT ofEi 10 panels in IL.
dootA
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16

Well do recall visit made early in the
morning to the city market one year ago,
and my surprise to see such flocks of these
ungainiy birds hopping about, picking up the
scraps. The market-keeper, noticing my in.
terest. communicated to me, marvellous stories
Of their intelligence. and what I then saw
was really corroborative, in part, of,his story.
The birds were collected on the peaked roof Of
the n.arket-house, and they did not seem to
be in any hurry to come down to the street
to gather the scraps of meat which the
butchers had rejected. 1 asked him why
they did not-were they afraidl "He hasn't
come yet, sur!" "Whol" "Why, the in
spector, sur. Them buzzards don't dare
touch'nothin' till he inspects," and presently
he spoke up, Here he comes" and / looked
up the street, marveling much what kind Of
yarn was getting, for what had market
inspector to do with q lot Of carrion birdsl
My confidence was fast vanishing" Not
there, sur, up there; don't you see himp All
saw in the direction indicated was few
buzzards flying toward the market THAT'S
hm-watch him" l saw buzzard alight on
the roof, and the color Of his head was differ.
ent. 1t was reddish, and l did see this fell
low hop around, then down he came to the
street, and presently the whole flock fol
lowed.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
THE GaUMBLING CAMEL
The ''Ship or the Desert- nm Ugly
Craft to Manage.
llondon Telegraph.

llondon Telegraph
The kilograms from our special cor.
respondents in the Soudan, bear witness
to the Importance of these difficult
beasts, although their presence invites
perils. Not only are they themselves
the prizes which the Arabs. thinking Of
piVnder as much as bloodshed. are anx-
lous to make, but they necessita,e n
deplorable weakening of the advancing
column. Require. as they do, sure foot
ing for every step they take, it often
happens that ut IA narrow passage over
bridge. or through flooded rice fields.
the whole force is halted to let the great
slow brutes slouch forward one 10y one.
Men and horses and mules tramp
through the mud, wade the stream.
scramble over rough bits; but the camel
positively refuses TO do anything ex-
cept move upon fiat and Trustworthy
ground. Mud is an abomination 10 il I:
water an impossibilty So, let the
narrow pathway be never so tortuous
the long files of grumbling monsters
have tothread their way in and out. one
behind the other, while the soldiers
halt and guard the caravan as il reforms
and starts afresh.
Nor, at a pinch, is the animal TO he
depended upon for extra work. az the
harder mule or human being may be.
Its measure of work is 80 exactly de-
fined that any attempt to exceed il is
promptly resented by death. So care
full In this respect are eastern men that
rather than overtax one OF them, even
for a short march, they will distribute
the extra weight among their own
shoulders, and "a mel-lOad" in used
as phrase expressing certain &c
curate quantity of grain, or salt. or
other goods, and as being il self too no
torlously recognized to require state
ment in avoirdupois. When once its
burdens are adjusted, and the beast un-
derstands that they are complete. the
smallest addition. even an ounce weight.
Is demonstrated against. and with such
prodigious atfectation If suffering
that it might he thought the big i'm
pOstors heart WAS breaking under
the pressure of an intolerable grief.
Nor does 1T betray any proporticnate
vlvacity in easy times. Ii told to sit
down-and there is nothing which q
camel does more cheerfully-it groans
as though it were being put to the rack.
If its load is being taken off its back il
means as if it were being faycd alive.
Should the road betray the slightest
cent, it commences grumbling M il il
were being asked to walk up the wall
OF house like fly; and vet when the
path begins to descend again. its dolor-
ous complainings are redoubled Going
up is bad, it says, as bad rs can be
and going down is worse. SO the
Oriental has proverb that when NOV.
ing up hill it curses its parents, and
when down hill its Maker.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
0eassy ~ Eshtblsiew.
<e~ N..yk I..tt.r

The oh~.r,el of all observers nj the
tabiesa, vi,ants at the Madison SIu r.
theatre on the nr-t occasion this enter.
'ainm"nt Was gwen IN a,d al tho i;afs
'hoili fund was Mrs. angtry whu
mad" he's.lf conspicuous bv standing
ai the 4. II he houae d,rectly nm Ter
The pa-lighi, so that the holder, 81
lofgnsiies that we're instantly vslr,l
Al h-f snd kept the ~ pre- zen e to
the b"auii"- on t,e stage had 10 III n
eslts 10 h,sibing fuIl view III h. I
iamonz iratnres. shrr- apr 'nchcI
the ere 'iy and a-A~d Ter to ,a.r -
seat, b., SHE i.-,-i,t Il IN =, nding on
,h. iriae pie ~ the W ny msu ho
wouldn't 4 ,nc". bnt peas | IN the door
.ay ~ ~. ball room and let am lon"
fnt him
FINALLY Mrs I.angt y, wio VISA
eompsni,d hy gentl"nan whom all
the 'tu1s ls,,e- IN the hons pro
no meet queer man. consented Ia
tab. a ., ~ bat s.e ned un-asv apd lett
alter "s ho nrnt-. and went aud
stool a. the hsck oI tho orchestra ,rr.
ri" Whs So ia she. az .o,ld she.
not .t dusnf The problem Was solved
siirn ~ wss 4 .ruv.rrd ihat the b,ct Il
he' peffrctl, htling dark olivc-greon
cloth drr-a wss paini-hsd With u plum
aye o. naamsrai'is small feathers. The
ihy bat evidently no intent on of
~ iug ihts =, n-ltiv. decoration. She
woe uail round hat aud her hair
90 dressed low ~ tho nape Of neck,
l'n' no, eollei III htly braided. She
look'-l a. lr.tiv ss - pcsch," the men
could n"t 'ale their eyes on hsr, the
Someu phtrd aud en-, ird.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
STICKING ON The STAMPS
The Just sswp,s,st eS . Discouraged
Ie.teNare CIetk.
Philadelphia Recon-

hithiHttiR NNfffFt
There ~ one Of the sort of lettc's
that make me tired. absolutely 81 tired
that | cant sen swear" remarked u
clerk at the posto hce in n tone ~ deep
disgust. as he tossed sside q pink en-.
yclope from - pile of letters en- vii h
he was cancelllng the stamps. The of.
fensiNe mlspive Tell on n corner ~ tue
table among dozen Of others winch
had nll. ~ measure. contributed b.
the clerks fatigue" and after he hal
concluded hi- task he reached over aud
pulled the lot toward him.
Just SEQ here. he sad continuing
his wall no, one Of those leticis ~
properly stamped. Look at tins, down
at the bottom. and this ght IN tbs
center. with heart drawn around IL,
and hang u. why her. new racket.
the stamp stuck ON the back. and ~
ho ratified on he gaze ea-h of thu
episilcs u vicious lab with the cancel.
ing stamp and thsn tossed II into the
mailbag
DO You run across many Of that
kindy"
DO u Well, I'm pretty goo Ina
turcd, and you wouldn't hear ms kick
ing II II was only once ia a Will. hut
they come along by dozens. and, by
JoVe around Christmas and ~ allen.
tines day about half the estrs mail IL
stamped IN some awkward way"
Nv ho do ~"
Well. principally silly people who
are IN love. fancy most OF tho letters
stamped IN those queer ways are love
letters or valentines or Christmas cards.
Look at this" aud he fshed out ths
pink envelope before mentioned II was
directed in q feminine hand to q man IN
Norristown. had the stamp ~ the cen.
ter with - conventional heart drawn
around u and smelt like q cake Of hotel
toilet soap. Now. ! must sav I don't
often get ON that bad. Ill did iii
soon go crazy. for you don't know how
exasperating II is to have To- stop and
change your regular clock .iike work be-
cause ono of these things comes along
and breaks up your steady tro.. ~ u
were"
Perhaps there u some Language Ut
postage STAMPS. and different positions
mean different sentiments" suggested
the reporter. For instance Up IN
the left corner. 4 love In tho lower lefs
corner. do you lover"
"Of course there II; aud III tell you
just how Il goes. Whenever q stamp Ia put
anywhere but In the upper right hand
corner IL means just this The man.
woman or child who stamped the letter
10 either fool, or . crank. OF On idiot.
or wants to he smart. or Here
the conversation was cut oGby the irs,s
clerk being called away.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
SIX INCHES OF STRING.
The story OF a Factory That Covers
an Entire Block in New York
New York Sun

New York sun
You see that large factory! 1t covers the
entire block. Half million of money
wouldn't buy it. Well, it was built by a lit
Tie piece of cord not more than six inches
long Here the speaker paused and scru-
tlnizet the reporters countenance for indica-
tlons oi incrednlity, not to say astonlshnent
But tue narrator was talking to a man wbo
since the introduction of the telephone, has
maize it point of principle to be ready for
anything and to believe all that he hears
The speaker added:
Eight years ago there lived on the west
siue, III the third stIry of a cheap tenement
down hear the North river, a poor mechanic
VINO was kept poor because he had a passion
Tor lnventing; it amounted to passion. He
didn't drink and didn't travel with the poll.
ticians, and all who knew his family wond-
cred why they should be so poor. Time
lasSe on, AMI still the man was poor But
at last he perfected an inveution-the sim
piest thing on earth-and with his patent in
his hand he went down town one day and
| called for the head Of house whose check
was current for five figures anywhere in the
street The inventor offered to sell two
thirds OF his patent for $40. 900 if the house
would bind Itself to put $lO0, 600 into factor
les for producing the little thing that he had
invented. The firm signed papers in less than
an hour from the time of hearing the pro-
posai, and in another hour the inventor had
converted the firms check for $50, 900 into
greenbacks. Lots were bought and factory
was erected. The business speedily grew to
gigantic proportions, and at length the firm
acquired all the rest of the block, and COW
cred 1t with brick and mortar and now the
inventor is able to associate with the million
al es. The little glove faStener-a piece of
cord about six inches long AMI dozen little
metal hooks or buttons-is the thing that was
invented.
$50 much for one man who was concerned
| in gloves Others have made fortunes out of
them and lost the money in other enterprises.
recall case OF a merchant whose net profit
on gloves was $l3.W0 year. Some of the
New Workers who sent their money down to
the gold belt of Georgia about two years ago
got his ear before they had lost S15, 900, and
| he took the gold-mining fever Of to Georgia
he posted. Yes, there was gold in the hills of
the Empire state OF the south. He returned
to New York and sold out his business and
back to Georgia he went. And there he is
delving in Georgia mud and wishin0, himself
back at his buttcn business in New York
rity "
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
rhe EAssss saA she Oupasss.
Middlvtowu Transcyipli

Once upon time village editor swcks
10 find burglar sesching In hts chamhsr Zoe
his gold and bonds. and drawiax HE trussy
pistol from beneath his pillow be tooh sssady
aim at the nocturnal insrusers head llook-
ing around and hrceming painfully aware cf
his peril tbe burglar plesdingly satii
@Spare mo. for have made . missahs On
tho hou.s have fosnd nothing bmt On
old out of-dats railroad pa@. ist me dspars
In peace"
mot 90" answered. the editor. holding his
aim like . skilled mart.man. "for this n .
mighty dull week for locais-
"but pause . moment and resss't, returned
the birglar. your paJ~r ls not inssd tilf
Friday. Your hst~d rival, The Weekly
BunGStarssr. VIII 70 so prsss 10 morrow even.
ing. and would have at least two columns u
my death and the coronsrs isQussA Il
would hs fully two days ahssd cf yoa.s
True enough" sasd The editor with sixh
a. he lowered his pistol and Svplacs,i u uBAsr
his pillow. -yoa are too eseY In ths w~st for
an item for ms, and ]. thsrvfors. spsr~ you.
You will ind ths plumbers house. Tor which
you evidently mistoot this humbls hom.. psns
door but one"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
EQuIilliRiuM
III A-.ft Illlnitl

flli-ft E'iiuttl
An % ia 49, elm hrH-i. al snd grim
With hupgr' hsr osi irt- vry
A. tiin airy iisht II the ~ "a grow. din
Ani the ~hii" nurn drswrth nigh
An OH giay neu-.. sith her ch,iiicn three
ls ~ n'-.t. ali un,i.t tie dow
Si~sp, In I-sr. ~ tho fost ~ the tree
A. n-rIfts She n.ver kD-~
Thfuugh tho iuskY light 90 the dawn
To" aft ~ings fan the gra~
swap . thui ie.k all hiopI
Ani the hours unh""iing Vas.
Aud nrs st the fnut of IN. tire.
Pals = shade frou the shaggy nest
Aat the -'ln rays. cnn,n'
The u~l With hrr nwl-t-. r,.~t
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16


Il don't think I'll insure with you,
said Jenkins, as the life insure ce agent
entered the Office.
Why not?"
We'll, you see, the agent Of another
company called in Yesterday. and offered
me much better ter ns than you do"
les, suppose he represents one Of
those snide companies that are willing
to insure for less money than We ask.
am not authorized TO guarantee it. but
I give you my word as an insurance
agent, that if you insure with us. you
will be under the sod ten years before
you will think OF dying if you insure in
that other company. Give rs q trial.
We are offering you the biggest kind o!
inducements"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
1rvlng's story.

Boston Cor. New York Graphic.1
There is one little aneciote which Mr..
Irving told during his last stay here which
might not be an uninteresting foot-note to
Queen Victorias "Tales and Legs of John
Brown"
The queen. as he who wishes may read,
has often made visits both of pleasure and
policy to her estates in Scotland, being at such
times more than heartily welcomed by the
canny Scots, who almost without exception
highly reverence her and indorse all that she
does.
On one occasion, shortly after a visit to
her castle In the outskirts OF Balmoral
blessed aptnessD Mr.. Irving, who was trav-
cling through the country, met an OLD Scotch
woman with whom he spoke of her ma "
"The queens good woman" he sail.
Il suppose she's guide enough, but there are
things Gamma bear"
"What do you meani asked Mr. Irving.
"Welll think there are things that ev n
he queen has no recht to do For one thiny
she goes rowing on the LAX on Soonday and
is not Chreestia thing to do"
"But you know the Bible tells US"
II knaw," she interrupted angrily. ave
read the Bible since was so high an knaw
evry word int l knaw aboot the Soonday
sshing and a the other things the good Lord
did; but want ye to know. ton, that don't
think any the more, cen of Him, for ado n
itn
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
Another Kind or Cramp.


Were yon ever troubled with writer's
cramp?" asked the statesman of the
grocerymaa, wlo was bu, ly posting up
his boois; fingers clinch around the
pen Yen know, and won't seem to
let go"
NO" resl.o nde the er,ceryman, re-
gard 'ng the >tatesn an with fixed gaze,
but have been cons derably troubled
by fingers clinrhing around my raisins
and crack, rs and seem ng not to let
GO
An then the statesman seemed to
recolle' t.iat hs had forg, tten to call
in on the wav down and INQUIRE after a
letter ON his wifes aunt, and as Lee
went out the door there was far-awav
EXPIRE ;s.ol in the back of his coat that
the grocer man tho lght he never could
tire looking at.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16

1t may set French and German statesmen
to thinking when America resolves that they
shall take our = per cent. of trchinie or we
won't take their 100 per cent. of delirium ire
mems. In fact, old boots, logwood aud cop
peras, and fourth proof whisky are cheap
enough in this country to enable us to make
Q very fair article Of French brandy now.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
A Matter.Of.Fact M an.
IChicapO Herald

At a revival in Louisville a short time ago
the clas%leader urged those who were present
to get up and tell what the Lord had done
for them. A tall, matter-of-fact specimen
of the granger arose, and in a loud, earnest
voice said: Ale amt done nothn' for me,
and I'm about tuckered out. The fact is Fm
stranger aud need help right Off,"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
where Cop.umpt,yes shou,a Go

An article in The Planet upon tfe
climatology of southern California gives
terse summing up of the weather in
Santa Barbara lor one year. The &C.
count was kept by DR.. Bradley, of
Aurora, Ills. who was suffering from
advanced pulmonary disease. There
were 80 plea ant days in which an m
valid could be out of doors with comic t
and safety; twenty-nne cloudy days,
upon twenty OF which an invalid cold
be 1t of doors; Twelve s.iowery days,
upon seven of which he could be out an
hour several times each day; ten WINDY
days. continiDg tie invalid wholly to
the house, and five rainy days, also pro-
hibitorv. The advant ,oes of the resort
lie in the fact that invalids may be
nearly all the time in the open air. and
also in its having an eluable tempera-
ture. The latter avera ,es 81 80 degrees
for the year, the difference between
July and January beng but Is degrees
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
George Eliot.

When the Biography Of George
Eliot" upon which Mr.. Gross is en-
gagged. and the forthcoming volume Of
Essays" have been given to tho world
there will remain hardly anything OF
george Eliot's imprinted.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
Nursery GOv-rnesx Wanted.

Rather an o Id advertisement recently ap-
peared in New York morning journal:
WANTED, by a loving mother, to take care
OF three children, nursery governess who
will be like-minded with Christ and take her
meals in the kitchen"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-16
Haa're gssv.

"Your fare. young lady" sad the
stage driver. hs . pretty miss stepped
from his vehicle. and was about
tripping away. -. thank you" r..
sponaed che absent minded little
beauty II think your mustachs be.
comes you real well. too" She got her
ride free.