McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-10-30
THE LIGHTNING ROD MAN.

thought L, standing on my hearth-stOn
among the Acroceraunian hills, as tn
scattered bolts doomed overhead, an
crashed down among the valleys, ever
bolt followed by zigzag irradiations
and swift slants of sharp rain, whic
audibly rang, like charge of spear
points, on my low shingled roof. Isup
pose, though, that the mountains here
abouts break and churn up the thunde
so that it is far more glorious here thai
on the plain. Handsome one at tn
door. Who is this that chooses tim,
of thunder for making calls? And VIII,
don't he, manfashion, use the knocker
instead of making that doleful under
takers CHATTER with his fist against tn,
panel? But let him in. All, here hi
comes. ''Good day, sir" an entire
stranger. '.Pray be seated" What i:
that strange looking walking-stick hi
carries; ga fine thunder storm. SIR
''Fine-awfuln'
ssYou are wet. Stand here on the
hearth before the fire.
''Not for worlds"
The stranger still stood in the exact
middle of the cottage where he had first
planted himself. His singularity i'm
PEELED a closer scrutiny. A lean,
gloomy figure. His dark and lank
mattedly hair streaked over his brow.
His sunken pitfalls of eyes were ranged
with indigo halos, and played with an
innocuous sort of lightning. He stood
in a puddle on the bare oak floor; his
strange walking stick resting at his
side.
1t was a polished copper rod, four
feet lengthwise attached to neat wood
en- staff by insertion into two balls of
greenish glass, ringed with copper
bands. The metal rod terminated at
the top tripodwise in three tines,
brightly gilt. He held the thing by the
wooden part alone.
''Sir," said 1, bowling politely, shave
| the honor of visit from that illustri-
Gus god, Jupiter Tonans? So stood he
in the Greek statue of old, grasping the
lightning bolt. If you be he OF his vice
roy, have to thank you for the noble
storm you have brewed among our
mountains. Listen: That was glori-
Gus peal. All, to lover of the majes-
tic it is good thing to have the Thun-
derer himself in ones cottage. The
thunder grows finer for that. But pray
be seated. This old rush-bottomed
armchair, grant, is a poor substitute
for your evergreen throne on Olympus;
but, condescend to be seated"
''While 1 thus pleasantly spoke, the
stranger eyed me half in wonder, and
half in a strange sort of horror, but did
not move hand or foot.
'sDo sir, be seated; you need to be
dried ere going forth again.
Iplanted the chair invitingly on the
broad hearth, where little fire had
been kindled that afternoon to dissipate
the dampness, not the cold, for it was
early in the month of September.
But without needing my solicitations,
and still standing in the middle of the
floor; the stranger gazed at me porten-
tiously and spoke;
Sir" said he, ''eXcuse me; but in
stead of my accepting your invitation
to be seated on the hearth there, 1 sol
EMMY warn you that you had best ac-
cept mine and stand with me in the
middle of the room. Good heavens!'' |
he cried, starting -'there is another |
one of those horrible crashes. warn
you, sir, quit The hearth"
'sMr. Jupiter Tonans,'' said I, quietly
rolling my body on the stone, Il stand |
very well here"
'.Are you so horribly ignorant then,"
he cried, '.as not to know that by far |
the most dangerous part of house |
during such terrific tempest as this, is |
a fire-place!"
"Nay, 1 did not do that" involunta-
rily stepping upon the first board next
to the stone.
The stranger now assumed such an
unpleasant air of successful admoni- |
ton, that--quite involuntarily again-I
stepped back upon the hearth and |
threw myself into the erectest, proudest |
position could command. But said |
nothing.
For heavens sake" he cried, with
a strange mixture of alarm and intimi-
dation-''for heavens sake, get off the
hearth! Know you not that the heated
air and SCOT are conductors, to say
nothing of those immense fire-dogs?
Quit the spot conjure-I command
you"
.sMr. Jupiter Tonans, 1 am not &C
customed to be commanded in my own
house."
''Call me not by that pagan name.
You are profane in this time of terror"
.'.Sir, will you be so good as to tell
me your business? If you seek shelter
from the storm, you are welcome so
long as you be civil, but if you come on
business, open it forthwith. Who are
you?' /
81 am dealer in lightning-rods,"
said the stranger, softening his voice;
s.my especial business is-Merciful
heayeni what a crash!-Have you ever (
been struck-your premises l mean? {
No? It's best to be provided -signifi-
cantly rafting his metallic staff on the
fioor.eby nature there are no castles {
in thunder storms; yet say but the {
word and this cottage l can make a S