National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-09-06
A GRAVE SUBJECT.
Objections TO Sunday FuneraIs-CostIy
Burials-Tho Ghou1ish Sentiment
That Impels Cranks OF Certain
Bent to Attend Funerals.

Uhnt lmpels Crhnks OF eorthh
Bent to Attend Funerals.
Pittsburg Dispatch.
The clergy of almost oil denominations
is opposed to Sunday funerals. The prin-
cipal opposition Is that they interfere /,
with the regular exercises Of the day.
distract tho minds of tho people, and fur
nish excuses for ncglecting the ordinances
of the church. The minister is always
to attend the funeral of any
member of his flock, and he frequently
finds II impossible to do 80 and attend to
his duties toward tho living.
There is no doubt that many funerals
arc fixed for Sunday In order TO give the
friends of the deceased On opportunity to
show their respect without losing days
work. There are some who regard big
funeral as something to BIO proud Of, and
willing to resort to any legitimate means
of having this whenever opportunity
permits. To such an extent does this
feeling prevail in some places that small
funeral actually Injuries the reputation
OF the beresved family, while big fun
eral, with q profusion OF flowers and an
boost an obscure family into the highest
circle Of respectability.
Sunday funerals being moro largely
attended than others. more carriages are
necessary to accommodate tho mourners,
80 called, and If there is any show at all
for getting their pay the liverymen are
not at all backward in urging them to
take ride at the expense Of the stricken,
and possibly destitute, family. 1t is no
uncommon thing to SEQ carriage after
carriage in u funeral procession filled
with hilarious young men smoking and
having jolly good time. Probably they
think it sort of picnic, and the only one
of the kind their old friend con ever fur
nish them, aud for that reason they will
mako tho best of it.
One of the most peculiar crapks we meet
is the funeral crank. He positively has
fondness for funerals, and never misses
q chance of attending one. There used
to DO an old lady down in Manchester,
and she may BIO living yet, who was clean
to one undertaken, and was in daily COM
municatiOn with several others. She
kept close watch on tho doctors in the
neighborhood, hailing them as they
passed to inquire if any of their patients
had died or what the prospects were for
them to die.
1t mattered little whether she was ac-
quainted with tho deceased or not; she
was bold to take o position among the
| chief mourners, and never failed to get q
seat in front carriage. The burden OF
her conversation was about funerals, the
number of carriages. how the friends OF
the corpse took il, what the coffin cost,
how many handles were on it, and who
the pallbearers were. 1t was scarcely
possible to name person in her presence
that she didn't recall funeral in which
they were in some way interested.
This ghoulish creature kept her neigh
bors in constant nervous sweat by
picking up their children or pstting them
on the head and making such compliment
corpse Willie will make" or, How nice
Maud will look in a coffin, with Il bouquet
in her little hand" 1t was common
caper of hers to call on sick persons. aud
tell them she had dreamed Of seeing them
laid out, or of attending their funeral
Once upon time she called at q house
whore the mistress was lying at the point
of death. After gazing on the emaciated
form for some time with fearful eyes, she
turned to tho anxious husband and in d
soto voice remarked, what lovely
corpse your wife will make"
Woman as she WAS, or is, she went down
the stairs very much as il she had beer
fooling with catapult. She used TO toll
her husband that the greatest fault sh'
could find with him was that no woult
make avery ugly corpse, but she consolet
herself with the thought that she had ,
SON in.law who would be perfect dude in
grave clothes. 1t was her favorite pastim'
when riding in street cars to size the pas
sengers up according TO her ghoulisl
standard. She went to church for tn,
same purpose.
HAMS fine haud-scwed shoes for ladies anC
gents, SIG Seventh street.