The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-04-01

900 copies of the Bible sold-not those
given away, but sold in the year 1880
Does that look as if the religion, the
church ard the book were becoming
obsolete. ,,as Mr.. Ingersoll claims!
Mr.. Ingersoll also demonstrates the
MEANNEss OF INFIDELITY
by trying to substitute for the chief
consolation of the world absolutely
nothing. You have only to hear him
at the edge eff the grave or at the edge
of he'coffin, discoursing, to find out
that there is no comfort i'm infidelity.
There is more good cheer in the boot
ing of of an owl at midnight than in
his discourse at the verge of the
grave You might as well ask the
spirit of eternal darkness to discourse
on the brightness of everlasting day.
You know there are millions of people
vino get their chief consolation from
this Holy Book. Now Mr.. Ingersoll
proposes to take away tat consola
| ton. What do you think Of it? What
would you think of crusade of this
sort 7 Suppose a man should res i've
that he would organize a conspiracy
to destroy all the medicines from all
the ap1thecaries and from all the hos
pitfalls of the earth. The work is done.
The me iicines are taken and they are
thrown into the river, or the lake, or
the sea. A patient wakes up at mid
night in a EarOxysm Of distress, ard
wants an anodvne. "Oh," saws the
nurse, the an"dynes are all destroyed;
We have no drops to give you, but IN
stead of that I'll read you a lecture on
the ahsurdiIies of morphine, and on
the abSurditles Of all remedies. But
the man continues to writhe in pain,
and the nurse says: I'll continue To
read to you diScourses on an0dynes.
the crueIties of anodynes. the indecen-
cies of anodvnes, the alb urlities of
anodynes. For your groan I'll give you
a laugh. Here 10 the hospitals a pa
tent ha ing a gan Srened limb ampu-
tated. lie says. Oh, for ether Oh
far chloroform. The doctor savs, why.
they are all DESTROYED We don't have
any more chlornform or ether; but l
have 70, something great deal bet
ter. r. read you a lecture N the
mistakes Of James g. Simpson, the
discoverer of chloroform as an anas-
thetic, and UPON the mistakes of Drs.
Agnew and Hamilton. and Hosack,
and Mott, and Harvey and Abernr-
thy. But, says the man mus have
some a.esthetics. No. saws the doc ors
they are all destroyed, but We have
GIT something great deal better.
Whist i tnat? Fun. Fun about med
icimes. Lie down, all We patients in
Bellevue hospital, and stnp your
or ,aning, all We broken hearted of ali
the cities, and quit your crying; We
have the cathOlicOu at last Here IS a
dose of wit. here is strengthening
plaster of sarcasm, here is hottie of
ribaldry that you are to keep well
shaken up and take spo rnful of af.
ter each meal, and if that dnes not
cure You here is hottie of biasphemy
in which Won NAV bllhe, and here. Is
a tincture of derisipn
TICKLE THE SKELETON OF DEATH
with eptrt-e! Maze the king OF
teroors cacked For ali the AZ rnies If
all the ages. a joke Millions of pe ,
ole wiling with uplifted hand toward
heaven to affirm that the gospel 81
Jesus Christ is tull of cnn>olanO to
them, ami vet Mr. | gerso proposes
To take il away, giving NTH
g, hsplutely II thing. except fun
l. there ary greater helg II, or death.
or length, or breadth, ar imme sity
Of n.eanress in al u DIS u,iyers-!
Mr.. myers Ill still furtnpr demon
s'rates the meanneSs of infidriitv by
irving To subs tate for thu Bible ex-
panaIion Of the future world 3 re-
! ijgion of don't know" L. there Il
/ God? Don't know Is the srul i'm
nnrt.i? Don't know This man pro-
poses To substitute The r li-i"n of
don't know :or the religion of know
| | know In whom | have believed [
! know that nv Redeemer lIverh. Inf
deity Proposes I'D I'll st!tut- religion
nf awful negatives for a religion OF
glorious ppsitives showing right befue
us a W rid of reunion and ecstscy.
of high companionship, and glorious
worship, and slupehdous vict"ry :.
me m ghtiest joy of earth not hi-h
enough To reach t. The bas, of the
HimaIaya of upi,fted splrndOr await
ing all those who on the wing of
Christian faith will soar t,wardit.
Have you heard the conspiracy to
put out all the Lighthouses on the
coast? 10 you know that on a Ger
tain nj .ht of next mollh, Eddy,t me