The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1884-07-05
"A dead heat: Cremation.


Made of uwl-wuFk: Shoes.
"A gambler is his wiie's bett t-haif.
Polly Titan is the girl Of tho period
just now,
When is the worst Weather for rats
and mict2 When Il rains cats aud dogs
Bnlwer was right; there's no such
word Hs fail. It is hJllihsd ihio assign
meut.
"A lowell eirl who was asked if she
ever had the mumps said' Yes; that is,
had one mump,"
1t is said General Grant now regrets
that he did not give his boys toy pistols
when they were young,
Subscribe tor and read the ADVOCATE
it contains all the latest local news up to
the time Of going to press.
Does your heart ever seem TO stop and
you feel dealhlike sensation, do you have
sharp pains in the region Of your heart
you have heart disease. Try d. Grayes
Heart Regulator. 81 per bottle.
The girl who marries in May gets 10
ice cream in August. The honeymoon
wunes Long before that time.
"a MAN should always live within his
income" says iuancier, "eyen If be
has TO borrow to do il"
Way does II man dress mp bis wife
for other tnen 20 run alter, aud then
have the tradesmen running after him.
-ACKER'S DYSPEPSIA TABLErs NEyEa
Fail. Sold 10y DR. CT Horn, Lehlghton,and
L a Horn, Wcissport.
Hens may be Il little backward on
eggs. but they never fail to come to the
scratch where flower beds are concerned
One great peculiarly about yo ing
people is that they can see TO make love
better in the dark than they can in the
light,
"A girl has been arrested in brooklyn
while disguised as an old woman. The
old woman disguised rs a girl is still at
large.
The man who has nothing but hon
esty to recommend him may be sure OF
reward hereafter, but lie cant get Job
here on earth
well, my yourg gentleman, and
how would you like your hair cut? "Ob.
like p4as, Please with little round
hole at the TOP"
EVERY Promise backed by n guaran-
toe. Ackers Dyspepsia Tablets will give
immediate relief Price 25 & 30 cts, Sold
by DR.. Horn, Lehighton, and E. A. Horn,
Weisspart.
III eiRh-ho!' said Mrs, spripgius
"see th at poor old Mr. Wilkins las died
iutcs,ate. SIlus said high lyin' would
ruin his innards.'
Are these Florida berries?' NO
sir, they're Jerseys, but don't you e.
and intimate that they're the kind that
people can truly call bully.
There is really one good thing about
this craze for baby shows all over the
country. 1t prevents lots Of youpg men
from getting married prematurely.
She had false teeth and fal hair
but she WIS ro'! checked, brisht-eyei
and sweet-tempere7, and ler lover said
"With all thy false, love thee still. "
There will be music in the wild
waves at seaside this Summer The new
style Of bathing suit for women will be
composed of "a red serge skirt with ac-
cordeon plaits."
Who was the most successful finan-
cier mentioned in tue Old Te,tam ntl
Noah, because hs successfully 90 ded a
limited company when all the rest OF the
world was in liquidation.
The tenor OF II ,rlem church choil
is named Batter He can rise up to the
highest notes without the least difBculi,
if the church is warm, but it stirs him
all up Tor the lndies TO spoon on him.
No girl is successful with a hsmm ,cl
until she eau get in aad ont Of th'
blooming thlag witbOu; everybody fnd
ing out whether The stripes on her ock
iugs run round and round or up an.
/ down