The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1884-07-25
POLITICAL HOUSEKEEPING.


POLITICAL OUSE-CLEANING.
The Democratic party has had house
cleaning at Chicago and looks much better
for the renovation. That party misbehaved
itself with so much recklessness and untidi-
ness that not clean room was found in the
establishment. The majority of the better
classes could not remain, and left the house
for new building, then just erected. The
family thus brought together became very
large and harmonious. Father Abraham pre-
sided as its head with great dignity and virtue,
and trained the household sin the way they
should 60, and for years it was strong and
goodly family. Oppression and injustice were
fought with manly courage and put down.
Good morals and respect for virtue every
where prevailed The name of the family be-
came everywhere known and respected till the
world spoke of it and respected itas the home
and defender of 'moral principle" Godli-
ness being profitable in all things" brought
its regard in emoluments in this case, till the
family had "enough and to spare" Prodigals
were born in the family, and others came into
it by adoption, who began to say, "give me
the portion of goods that falleth to me, and
went and spent too freely in rlotous living.
So that in the course of human events the
new house became as contaminated and I'M
clean as the former house. Many attempts
were made at house cleaning, but the prodi-
gals out-numbered the virtuous members and
got control of the premises and would admit
of nothing being done except putting on
coat of aohsteaoash now and then, and that only
in spots. They appropriated the best bar
rooms to themselves and many of them got
drunk in them, &c. The elder brothers
looked on with alarm, and delivered homily
after homily to the prodigals, but the latter
turned deaf ear and 'would none of their
reproof," and put on airs of defiance against
the good counsel, assuming ownership OF the
entire homestead. Thus both houses became
untenantable, and many consultations took
place between the better classes in both
buildings about the necessity and practicable
ity of joining their labors together and build
ing new house in which virtuous house
hold might be assembled and dwell free from
the unsavory contamination of both.
In the meanwhile house cleaning time came
round and each of the two families called
general interview to consult about house
cleaning, and to make arrangements for the
future government of both families.
The consulting representatives OF house
number two met first. The ladies-always
wise and energetic in matters of house-clean-
ing-sent in word to them that they were
ready to assist the family clean house, and
requested them to make such arrangements in
the preparation as would give them place to
stand on and work But the proposition of
the ladies to help was rejected, and the con-
clusion not to clean house was adopted instead.
1t was thought that to clean house would Gre
ate too great racket for the liking of some
members of the family, and probably cause
them to leave home. twas therefore deemed
more expedient to darken up the house so that
the present untidiness might be less apparent,
and live upon the past reputation OF the fam
ilv for cleanliness. 1t was argued that the
rival house had SO long had a reputation for
untidiness that none of the family would leave
on account of untidiness for quarters in that
establishment and that there was neither
time nor material enough to construct a new
house against the time of need and thus
household number two put itself In array
against house-cleaning this year, even though
it might necessitate keeping bachelors hall
by the finer and more refined sensibilities of
the ladies leading them into demanding dl-
vorce.
The older family, when they met for con-
sultation, took different view OF what was
best for them to do in the matter of house
nest One leading member of the family de-
clared the house should not be cleaned and
that if anybody was put up to do the work ne
should lose his head. He thought he had
backing enough to scare the entire household
by such threats. Another member who has q
wide reputation for dealing in silverware sided
with this member, and SO did large number
of the smaller children. But the mature
members of the family said that the condi-
ton the house was in was too unhealthy to be
endured longer-that housekeeping was
necessity to self preservation, and that if they
did not clean house, and do it now, the fami-
ly would die and the house go to pieces So
they resolved to clean house. 1t is astonlsh-
ing how dilapidated house number two has
become in the few years since it was built
and it is astonishing how improved the old
house looks since the Chicago house-cleaning.
STILL however, we personally prefer to put up
new house. There may still be in this
house some cunning old rats.
V,u<, climbs of ball nlavers were enpaoed in