The Black range., 1884-09-19


. -uongrw.s u kick--Ex.
AseAsias starr IN nut shfll-Daah-
Ins bellss. mzzhing swells. funny shows
mouey goes.-New York Journal.
Canada i Iaying txpense. tbs yeNr
lhese are some American tourists N II.
-N~x York TTibsne.
A god deal is heard about womens
rislasa You don't bear much about
the -lefts- Thrv are usually the men.
Ben butler doesn't appear 10 be Sc
eurvly bottled Just uow. At least the
gas seems TO be escaping-Texw slit
ings.
one Of the most easIly.made. cheap.
and really worthless articles of the day
is an election predletlon.-cincinnaii
Commercial Gazette.
New York bank directors are 50 eal-
led because they direct the movements
OF the detectives after the funds have
aown.-Philadelphia Call.
A western editor who was seen en-
tering church afterward apologized
for the occurrence by claiming that i
was done In a lit Of abstraction.
-An ex-edtor 10 now barber in Sag
NAV, Mich.." writes thes Norristown
Herald. sHe wields the scissors as na-
entity as ever. but he does more head
work now
The small boz In the neighbOris oil
elarl il la a"peck Of trouble" IL all
relates to the problem of getting apeek
OF apples into pockets that will NOT
hold a quart.
The elerklet sleek Ills earnings
saves, Aud stays week Beside the
waves. Yet, after all. IL only means
That through the fall He'll live on
beans.-lSoston Post.
she--I read In faslon paper to-day
that buttons are coming in again. H'
is that SOY Well that suits the ex
aclly. It's about time they did. She
Why? He they've done nothing hui
come of ever since we were married.
An Ohio man saw n snake pial
Sweet Violets" on the piano. Thu
only troU0le with tins story is that no
body saw the Ohio man see ii. II LA
got so that 1t isn't euongh fof an Obi
man to see anything alune.-Buflng
ton Hawkeye.
A Buffalo lady went out calling re
Gently, leaving servant IN charge .
the house. On one Of the calls she wa
surprised to have her ring answered b
her own servant. The girl had left hf
old situation and found a new one duI
ing her mistress absence.
According to an exchange, u Syri
cHse girl, who won the first prize at
pronouncing match at Chautauqu
was given the Chautauqua salute
We don't know exactly What 1t Is. bt
il smacks of fun for Chautauqua pr
fessors. Burlington Free Press.
The country merchant Is entitled
a chance. When he comes to n hot'
in the city he cannot shake hands wit
two drummers ut the same time unit
he puts down his valice. and he shoul
be allowed to register his name befol
his coat collar is pulled off.-New 0
leans Picayune.
"And what part do you sing in Il
opera Miss pealP" I'm one of u
sopranos I'm sorry TO hear that
"How soY" "Why. ! can't help thin
ing that If your voice WAS as low
your dress. you'd make wonderful co
tralto. Chicago News.
"My dear brethern," said the ninist'
and leaning forward and speaking We
- earnestly, "in this exclusively war
oppressive weather ! can excuse a j
) tie drowsiness during the sermon. but
a. do wish that you would try aud Ike
= 2 still while the collection is being tax
:. up.-Ex.
d They were sitting IN the front parl'
y. n. lie observed that he really oug
10 TO GO. rs it WAS getting quite-lat
= mo. wait a few minutes longer. 3
pleaded "I want you to see the fun
little man that brings around I
morning papers" He passes the hou
: now without looking up at the vi
dows."
&c "Ma, did the wicked children say.
up. old bald head, to good Elijah
Yes. dear" "And did the bea
n come and eat them?' lit Is so told
el my SON." And wonld they come a
ty. eat me If said go up old bald head,
S"sp pa?" POSSIBLY" "Woald they you
..Probably not" "Then, you say 1t
him and will give you FIVE cents
~ q nee The ars."-Pittsburgh Chronicle
m. Ioya is making crusade aga
Ter Mother Hubbard" dresses; but. siI
,ut nlarly enough, doesn't molest YOU