The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02
Hotel Dead Beats.

be ca led by the Ia lies a good-looker.
Besides, he has look of hum d honesty
in his hazel-fecked eyes. But. it was
more than these thin 8 that attra ed
the Free Pre- s representa- We 70 him.
Although he presided over tn, counter
in hotel office, the wide expanse OF
his virgin shirt-bosom was illuminated
bu by the art of the laundry machine.
] his fact was SO assuring that the re-
porter went bravely up to him and said
that he had come to have me nfor.
nation regarding hotel dead beats, their
methods, their Characters, or lack Of
them, ETC., etc.. yielded up to him by
the counter genius. Hrh
.'Really," said the clerk blanlly, al
should be glad to aid you II 1 co Id.
But 1 am very busy iust now. Come
around when 4 am off duty" H.4iI
Which the reporter did, and repeated
his question. -
''E>cus me-" replied the amiabls
AdOnis, but 1 m going odt to see
young lady friend and Ia K the time. G. all
10 m n ow." ''
VIII oh the reporter did again, being
new and pc Sc sed of desire 10 con-
linue tn draw his salary.
"Too bad, my dear boy, but I'm called
out OF town on an imperative matter.
But if you'll drop in Tomorrow"
And the morrow found the patient
newspaper man once again at the dis
tllery of intelligence.
In time the clerk ad no excuse to
offer. and the following colloIuy en-
sued:
"What occurs to you as the most dar-
ing escape male by d. b. during Jour
hotel ar er?''
", ell when performed ehind the
counter at hostelrie in t. All. de-
spite all ny preca tions q sanctimo-
n Gus sinn r, who was arrayed as
though re had lust st p ed out of the.
pulpit got away one e, ening and let
us or day bill" ...,.-.f-
"How did he do it9' 80 =
The brute delibe ately dressed him.
self and waloed down sta rs into the
street grip in hand but backwards,
Whine err he saw any one on u stairs
he stopped and thus appeared to be as.
END NJ to his roo y, and hence it look
ed all right tt worst of it is l saw
him. and the fiji sy do lee fooled me-"
How abo the funniest incident
! Il q 8 that was in & ansas CITY,
whe: c broken drum er tn. ew his va
Sc out of thi d story wi dow one
ii he cry early in the mornin and was
preparing to follow it when the gentle
bree which was stirring caught hold
o his cit was so Ii ht-a watt
ed it back in his face. Solemn ia t''
..Tbatfc vafp rvnaI Pol
off another"
hight here in Detroit pretty good
case of the kind happened" ftgs
..Iet us ha it. = stSss - -
In the middle of the forenoon a
chap launched his alise with a silk
u uDrella at ached to it into the middle
of the st eet- when he got down a
st eet car had giided er the two and
reduced them 20 an unrecogni le
mass But the fellow went away with
a light heart all the same. He had
kno ked us out S23 worth.
'.GoOd for you. Oehiltree- But how
came you t. mo il from Ter IS "
Not muscle of his faee moved. In
stead he proceeded pfomptly by saying:
1.-The most sudden departure . dead
beat ever AIDE to my knowledge was
the seedy-looking individual who came
up to my counter when was n q To-
ledo no e., banged "a nickel watch
that was Dattered up badly enough to
Iook as though it Was made by, ,Tubsl
am himself 80 hard upon the counter
hat it left dent and sa d With an-aix
,t sublime confidence. Il d like a out
.wo weeks DO I'd on this fired him
With swi tpes- tn Il shocked b M and
gave my hi, joint lively exercise in
kicking b m out OF doors"
Metz
'Of course there are many incidents
md experiences which re duplicated
n the career of eveiy man who spends
my length of time behind hotel loun-
ers. But"
THE less old minstrel gags you
work in the more interesting your talk
will be-"
Il will conclude with one more while
ny reputation is good. 1t is six years
Ince met the sleekest one of the genus
|. :. it has ever been my evil ortuns to
'ncounter i was at the time chief
Jerk in the a mer House, Oh cago ~
"Aren't you giving this to me i'm
rag ents a trifle too large9'
..Never was Ia ore in earnest in ,ry
fe. As was saying, wDen I clerked :
here this fellow came in. He was
'oung ON the road, and was the only
uppst OF a widowed m ,ther. He
tayed with us a good while paving us
rom tly. He was . studiois to-
rap hunter. and at last secured that
I q rom ;nent Oh cago man.
9TH was the good n ce young man
ntirely happy? And did he die in
ea e?''
..He wrote above the signature .
he K for five figures, gotit he'd, and
J still in Furops waiting for it to blow
yer. Honest r'-De Toi. Free Press.
Large numbe Of hinamen aro
migrating from the aciic cast to