Connecticut western news., 1884-06-25
The Champion Kicker Of the World.

We had just eaten supper and were disposing ourselves comfortably on our blankets for a smoke and chat when Sam came riding up upon the most di- lapidated specimen of mule flesh that ever awoke the echoes with an asthmatic bray. It was, a venerable animal, and wore upon its time-marked face that look of quiet dignity which age ever infuses into animals of that species. Blind of an eye, but tapering spike where once hung bushy tail, one ear erect and pointing proudly at the heavens, and the other dropping down beneath de- pression of spirits or something of that sort, the hair worn from its body in nu- merous places, and every rib and bone standing out in startling prominence, the strange animal presented an appear ance that would at once attract the at tention of any artist looking for model for picture of antiquated animal life.
 "How old is the animal, uncle ?" we asked. "He looks like he might be classed as a patriarch among four-footed beasts"
 "Wal, partner, thar's some difference of opinion regardin' the length of time he's graced this airth. Thar's some set tiers up my way thet claim he ain't any more'n five or six hundred years old, but I'm willin' to bet my hope O glory agin a jackknife thet Jerusalem war one O the chosen ones thet tux a trip with Noah in the ark. If war jist as sure of connectin' on heaven as I am thet this animile hoated around in thet shower, I could hear the harps a twangin' now. Wat braces me up in this opinion air the fact that every time it begins to rain the old cuss gifts oneasy an lights out fur the top O some hill. Ihad him over on the Big Horn the time the soJers came up in a boat, an the mint the old coot seed that boat hoatin' in the water he looked up at the clouds to see if ther war a storm comin' up. It happened ter look like rain that day, an ding my eyes eff he didn't let out a snort of alarm, an in spite of all I could do he tux to the water with me on his back, an swan out to that boat The sojers had to beat him off wi the butts O their guns afore could steer him ashore agin."
 "And so you think he was in the ark, then2"
 CT do, but reckon at that time he war only kid and knowed mighty little about the proper use of his heels. If he'd possessed the accomplishments then that he does now, this airth would be howlin' waste, fur he'd O converted that air ark into kindlin' wood and a drownded every critter on board afore they'd bin afoat ten minutes. I tried ter break him O the habit once, but af. ter the trial l jest give up an settled down to the opinion that he was the champion kicker O the world. Afore goin' to bed one night backed him up to barricade O logs that I'd fixed fer i'm. It war four feet high, twelve feet long and about seven feet thick, the logs bein' bound together with rawhide thongs. When I backed the old snoozel up he looked around sideways an ap. peared to know jest wat the barricade war there fur. He turned loose on it, an went to bed, an fur three hours ] lay thar an listened to the fool whack. in away, makin' fair average O twenty kicks to the minute. Finally went to sleep, an wen woke up in the mornin' all war as still as death. I got up ex. pectin' to find either a dead mule or a penitent one, but when I opened the cabin door the logs war gone an thar stood this identical critter on sawdust ur to his knees, holdin' up one hind foot an fannin' it with his of ear. If you don't believe it jest come over to my ranch on Snake river an I'll show you the sawdust."