The Osceola times., 1884-06-21
EFFERvESCENCE.

Eternal hanging If the prize OF vigil
ants.-Erratic Enrique.
Nothing but leaves" as Adam remark.
ed when admiring his wife's polonaise.-
Gouverneur Herald.
Mrs. Langtry walked thirty-two miles
hold on a minute, advertising costs
money.-Lowell Courier.
Murder is man slaughter in Cincinna.
Ii, and man slaughter is mans slaughter
Shoot the courts.-Merchant Traveller.
Nature don't often make fool. She
furnishes the raw msterisl and let's i
take its own course.-Fort Wayne HOosi.
er.
An editor makes a point when he
sharpens his lead pecil.-Chicago Sun
But they are very blunt sometimes
Warsaw Wasp.
The Philadelphia Call rays: Lent ID
the time TO go SLOW" Oh, no! you are
mistaken. II is the time to go fast
Boston Budget.
An old bachelor wants TO know if it's
squall-ity or if it's quantity that takes a
premium at the baby show.-MerchaIt
Traveller.
There is a petrifed baby in museum
at Dallas, Texas, and the ladies all think
it real gneiss little thing.--Bismarck
Tribune.
Nice life a married man leads when
every time he asks his wife for cup of
tea ne knows she'll make it hot for him.
Boston Post.
A Cedar Rapids editor wants any
young lady who Jumps to conclusion"
to consider him Conclusion" An or
phan preferred.-Electric Light.
A shock of an earthquake was felt in
London the other day, and inside of an
hour the police had jailed twenty seven
Irish uspects.-Bismarck Tribune.
The ancient leap.year girl who "would-
MT marry the best man living" has Just
engaged herself to street loafer. She
stuck to her word Kentucky State Jour-
nal.
Mrs. Barker of Oxford, Connecticut,
who is 90 years old, never employed a
doctor until the other day. Her recov-
cry is now oespaired of.--Chattanooga
Peoples Paper.
A man may raise in this world and
fall in the rext-Whitehall Times. But
that does not signify that because man
falls in this world he will "ryes" in the
next.-Henderson Gold Leaf.
Aimee tells reporter that she wears
out $500 worth Of stockings every year.
But as stocking comprise her entire ward
robe the figures are not 80 very appalling
Electric Light.
Il pass" said the conductor of the
railroad train, as he looked at the edi-
tors ticket. 81 didn't think you would
take it up" said the newspaper man,
Williamport Breakfast Table.
The reason why Richard III, when
waking from troubled dream, called
for "A horse was because he disliked
the nightmare which he so frequently
had ridden.-Gouverneur Herald.
The princess Louisa is said to be look
ing "prcttier than ever" this spring. The
cable message should have read "less
ugly than formerly" and we might have
Mr.. Henry Watterson Is making him
self pretty disagreeably humorous Just
now for man who has never been q
political leader and cannot look straight
at NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Gazette.
A medical journal states that the
weight of an average Chinese baby is
only five pounds. 1t is strange that such
a light body should acquire "ways that
are dark."-New York Morning Journal.
A Pottstown lady has not had pitch.
house keeping. A pitcher dead broke
is not, however, unusual in the baseball
fraternity.-Hartford Sunday Journal.
Everybody itches and burns and aches
and writhes with the intcnsest desire to
marry.-Blond and Brunette of the Sum
ny Cline. Great heavens, girls! ~ Up
on buckwheat cakes.-Bra ford S.A .ay
Mail.
Forepaugh's white elephant has land
ed. To get even on the leprosy report,
Barnum is industriously spreading the
news that it has got the Asiatic mumps,
and they are contagious. Bradford Sum
day Mail.
There has just arrived in Paris young
man whose head, both as regards shape
and color, resembles that of calf He
must be direct descendant of the orr
ginal prodigal son.-N. Y. Morning jour
nal.
John B. Cough says: THE press is
the mainstay of SIM" That depends on
what kind Of press you mean, John.
The press is often the mainstay of good
looking Williamport Breakfast Ia
BILE.
The butchers of New York are trying
to discontinue the transportation from
Chicago and other Western cities of
dressed cattle. Anthony Comstock should
be set upon the track of there butchers.
Boston Transcript.
The editor Of New York Life is at
work on tragic drama entitled The
Lions M3uth." II is expected to cause
fu.roar in dramatic circles. With such
title il should be able to growl black at
the critics. cs.-Norristown Herald.
A Newport girl who had two suitors
for her hand proposed that they draw
straws for her. They went right away
and drew straws-tbat is they drew
something through straws that reposed
in glasses of liquor-Fort Wayne Hoosi-
er.
1t is the early chicken that first dis
cards his spring ovacoat.-In the game
of life a "ful" hand will not beat a
straight" man.--Paradoxical az it may
seem, a live man should always be in
dead earnest. York Morning Jour-