davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
HUMOROUS.

-"Second-story thieves have again
appeared in Brooklyn" a second
story thief, like second-story house, is
seldom without BROOKLYN
Eagle.
-''What nonsense" exclaimed Ber-
tina. The idea of telling Mrs. Brown
that YOU were only twenty-three!
"But didn't do right, dearP'' replied
Edith. You know mamma has always
taught us to exaggera c. 1t is better to
under rather than overState, you
know. "-bOSton Transcript.
I'D like to stay here" remarked
the otiice-boy, as he approached the ed
itor's desk, "but de obs too heavy for
me-" ''How too heavy?" We'll,
take de copy into de repoSing-room
and dem depositOrs hit me on de side
of me head. Drre's too much brain
work for me. S'long. HeGTGtC Stdnd-
ard
The obliging visitor, To show that
he is really ond of children. and that
the dear little one IS not annoying him
in the least, treats the kid to ride upon
his knee. "Trotl trot! trot How do
YOU like that, my boy? Is that nice?"
u.s. olls lOpAltS lut CHliu, Out
so n ce as on TIE real donkey-the one
with four legs?'-N. y. Ledger.
Some soldiers were digging a well
in fort, and when they came to tho
water, the commanding officer went to
inspect progress. well, Cowan," said
he TO the Irishman at the bottom of the
well. you have foand the water at
last" "Ah. Kernel" replied the 9TH
or, lit all depinds upon knowing how
the thing ought to be done. Any other
man but meself would have gone forty
fut deeper without coming to it,"
The New York Critic invites per-
sons to send in the names of forty liv-
ing American men of-letters whom they
consider most worthy of membership
in an American academy of Forty I'M
mortals." Well, Ihere's Eli Perkins, and
the Sweet Singer of Michigan. Buffalo
Bill, and Private Dalzell. and Peck's
Bad Boy, and-and-we're stuck"
We don believe there are forty of 'em
unless "Veritas," "Pro Bono Publico,"
Constant Reader" MANY Citizens"
and such men of-letters are counted
NoTristOcn Herald.
"A New Degree: Little Nell-What
does those letters Is. A. alter your name
mean?" Young Pilkins-" They mean
Bachelor of Arts. got them at col
lege." Little Nell" That's what
thought. Wasn't it mean of them not to
give you the other letters? Pa said he
wondered you didn' t. get them" Young
filkius delighted y" You mean the
degree of M. A." Little Nell-No,
those were not the letters pa said"
Young Pix Ms" Not? Why, what
was it he said?' Little Nell He said
he wondered you didn't get the G. B."
-Ehiideiphtd CAL.
There were nine men in the car
and six women. The vehicle was roll
ing along with the windows all rafting
so loud that those WHO were talking had
to shout. Suddenly the driver checked
up so quickly that all in the vehicle
head the voice of tall, angular wom-
an away up in the corner exclaiming:
Now, 7 propose" Immediately
six unmarried men shot for the door,
viii G the three married ones simultane.
ously remarked: ut is useless to pro-
pose to us, madam: we're married.n-
Philadelphia Chronicle.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
Crossing SWeeOers.

An Englishman, carefully picking his
steps over very muddy crossing on
Cortlandt street, was surprised 10 see q
boy hastily tap the stones before him
with a short broom and then petition
for reward for his labor. A few steps
further on he was amazed to find the
performance repeated by second boy.
and Just as he was about to step upon
the opposite sidewalk he was astoniShed
to witness the same performance again.
"Now, this" said the Englishman to
friend, sis not the right sort of thing
at all, you know. Not only are three
boys trying to make living out of one
short crossing, but they hardly make
evena pretense of doing their work.
Now, they manage things better than
this in London. There, good crossing
yields a handsome income to its
sweeper. He works steadily on all
day, keeps his crossing very clean, and
never asks anybody for a penny. OF
course. for one who gives him anything.
two hundred cross the street without
putting their hands into their pockets,
but he has his regular every day patrons.
who give him halfpenny, and st night
he has made more than the average
clergyman earns in the same time.
"a good crossing could hardly be
bought for one hundred pounds, but a
pur haser has it for lie, and need not
be afraid of any interference or rivalry,
for it is an unwritten law among the
crossing sweepers that one shall never
encroach upon anvther's field of enter
prise. They buy from and sell to each
other. and the corporation mas nothing
to do with the matter.
The owner of crossing cannot be-
queath it to his heirs. His right to it
dies with him, and the first person who
touches his broom after his death has
the right to take his place and profits.
AS crossing sweepers, like other men,
usually die in their own beds, the
brooms are apt to be first touched by
their sons. or other near relatives; but
it has more than once happened that 3
stranger, p cking up the broom fallen
from the hand of a sweeper who wa
XII led or dropped dead at his crossing.
was surprised to find himself in posses
sion of q handsome property. IN y
Sun.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25

Matthew Arnold reports that he
sleared $1,000 by his lecturing tour in
America.
Emily Faithful opens her lecture on
''Shams" with the statement that it is
equally applicable on both sides of the
Atlantic.
An Augusta ga editor SAYS that
i've men in the Southern States now
read the newspapers where one man
read them ten years ago.
Ewing Isbell. of Warren county,
Ky, was born on Washington's birth
Law, his wi e was DO IN on the Fourth
Of July. their only child was born on
Christmas.
Henry Ward Beecher saws that be-
sides "Uncle Toms Cabin" the only
one he ever read of the numerous books
written by his sister. Mrs Stowe, was
"The Minister'S Wooing."
Miss Elizabeth Peabody, of Boston.
now nearing her eightieth year, was the
first to introduce the kindergarten sys-
tenn in this country, and for more than
hall century has been prominent in
worNs of philanthropy and sympathetic
with American progress in art and lit
erature. Boston Post.
General Graham, whose recent
victories in the Soudan have made him
famous, was n resident in Montreal
about eigh cen years ago, and was then
District Commanding Engineer under
Colonel Ford. The General at that
time was one of the youngest Lieu
tenant-Colonels in the British service.
IN T. Times.
There are only two American
books which have n market value APP
proximating 81 900; they are the bay
Psalm Book" which has been sold as
high as II 200. and Eliot's Indian
Bible-"Up-Biblum God" in the
aboriginal tongue, a copy of which was
recently bought at the sale of the library
OF the late Judge Henry c. Murphy, in
New York, for the sum of $685. Chi
cGqo Inter Ocean.
Benjamin Gratz, who died in Phila-
delphia the other day, was the oldest
gYlduate of the University of Pennsyl-
vania, and the oldest member of the
Philadelphia bar. His sister Rebecca
was special friend of Washington
Irving. who regarded her as one of the
most lovely women and perfect types of
the ideal Jewess possible to find On
one of his visits to Sir Walter Scott he
interested the great novelist in her char
acter To such an extent that he took her
for his model of Rebecca in "Ivanhoe."
philadelphia Press.
H. b. Clallin, the famous New York
dry-goods merchant is a very small
man, with fluffy hair and a small,
smooth, doll-like face. Every afternoon
ut hal;-past three o'clock, wet or dry,
be jumps into n light wagon behind a
fleet horse and goes spinning down to-
wards Coney Island from his winter
residence in Brooklyn. There is nothing
snowy or stylish a3out his turnout, and
few who see the little man muffied in a
fur-lined coat with a cloth cap drawn
over his flowing hair would take him
for an important millionalre.-N. y.
SIM.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
Chinese Gordon at sebastopoI.

An old British army pensioner re-
lates this story of General "Chino g "
Gordon: On the first day on which Iire
was opened at Sebastopol from the
twenty-one gun battery the sand-baQs
forming one of the embrasures caught
fire from the flash of too-closely-
mounted gun. A corporal and saprer
of the engineers were told off to repair
the damage. The corporal ordered the
sapper to mount the embrasure, and
proposed to hand up the fresh bags to
him. They were under heavy fire at
the time, and the sapper, with some
want of discipline. certainly, demurred
to this arrangement, and sug sested
that the corporal should get up, and
that he (the sapper) would 90 ON with
the handing-up business. There was q
bit of a wrangle over il. Gordon, who
was passing. inquired into the matter,
and. quietly yelling to the corporal,
- Never order a man to do what you
are afraid TO do yourself" got up on
the pile of bags himself and said:
:. Come up here, both of you,n and
then ordered his men who were work.
ing the gnns to hand the bags up. The
storm OF bullets swept over Gordon and
the two men, but his charmed life
seemed to protect the trio. He finished
his work and came down as coolly as he
had mounted But the lesson was new
er forgotten, and there's fine ring
about the words: "Never order MAJ
70 DO . thing you ara afraid % Do youN
Deih"-& J. zJbNAk
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25

he had been there an entire day, and
that they had fioated far down the river.
when he heard his father voice calling
first to him and then to Mabel. It q
hardly necessary to say that Jackey 10.
piled, screaming ut the full strength a
his lungs. and when he saw q skin, in
which were two men, one of whom was
his father, sail in at the open door. he
lost no time in saying: I'm never do
so again. father, indeed won't. I'll
always do just as you and mother tell
me to do, If you'll only take me home
now"
Mabel said nothing. She had been
too much frightened to talk with Jackey
even when they had been alone, and
she simply held out her hands to be
taken on board the boat.
The barn had not fioated nearly as
far away as Jackey had imagined. IL
had been caught by grove just below
the house, and had remained there un-
til the children had been rescued, which
was quite long enough to teach Jackey
such lesson as be viii never forget.
The long hours of agony and terror
passed on the hay-mow when, as he
thought, he and Mabel were drifting to
certain death, were more than long
enough to teach him to obey his parents
whether he thought their commands
wise or not James Otir. tn Congrega-
6Ondlist
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
That Boy.

Almost every father knows about the
inlu sitive boy, and frequently has oc-
casions to wish his boys were girls. A
North Hill farmer began shaving him
self in the presence of his four-year-
hopeful. The boy comTenc and kept
on with result somewhat as follows:
What are you doing, papa?''
''Shav n.y."
What you shaving for?''
al o get m. ace clean.''
''Why don't you wash your face to
get clean, Ats the way l do"
Il shave to GET the hair off,"
"What hairr'
The hair that grows On nv face
''N hat hair that grows on your fsce?n
my whis ers."
What are whiskers, PapaP-
Hair that grows on the face"
"What does the wnisker hair grow on
the face forg''
81 don't know"
why don't you know why whisker
hairs grow on the face?''
BE ause-"
The interview come to . sudden ter
minaIion- A long gash and flowing
blood was the cause, with the sudden
departure Of Young America In his
mothers arms ~ a. incident -Rhits-
eslpAta patk
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
Right and Left Hands.


The first difference noted in hands IL
that they are right and iett and that
they are not Except in the hands Of
one of the other. It Is well known that
no two faces are alike, that no single
face is SO perfectly balanced that one
side is an exact duplicate of the other
side. Ii is just as true that no twoper-
sons have hands alike. AMI just rs cer-
tain that no pair of hands are exact du-
plicates. The differences to be found
in that pair of hands which are most
alike are neither few nor doubtful. 1t
requires no expert to detect the varia-
tons. Any pair of hands will exhibit
marked differences, which will, when
pointed out, be readily recognized by
one of ordinary perception.
Usually the hands differ in size-fre-
quently differing in length and thick
ness, and in firmness and color. The
fingers are often-generally-o differ
ent comparative lengths, and exhibit
also other divergent pecul arities. which
will be readily noticed by any one who
reads and remembers what we shall
have to say about fingers further on.
A very slight examination of any
pair of hands will show that the princi-
pal lines even are not exactly alike in
the right and left hands. A careful ex-
animation will usually show that no
single line in one hand is exactly like its
fellow in the other hand.
have frequently found two persons
in whom the right hand of one was al
most like the right hand of the other,
and whose left hands were much alike;
but never person whose right and left
hands we're counterparts.
This difference between the hands
must be carefully noted, and the extent
and meaning of the variation kept con-
stantly in mind while reading the per-
sonal peculiarities.
The left hand indexes the persons
natural emotions. intellectual peculiar.
tiles and physical status.
The right hand points out the direc-
ton in which the individual is develop
ing, and the progress made in the mod
ification of the original possibilities in
to actual character.
In the case of "left-handed'' people
this rule is reversed. In short, the
passive hand exhibits the inherited cap
ital OF affection, thought and action,
while the active hand indexes the char
acter as developed.
The Astral palmists tell us that if the
lines are alike fair in both hands, they
show that the person resembles the
father as to physical form. and is like
the mother In mental and moral endow-
ments. The right hand being the
clearer and fairer. shows that the in
dividual resembles the father in ply
sique, temper and mind; this resemblance
increases as the right hand is fairer and
clearer than the lie :. The left hand ex-
hibiting the fairer lines declares the
person TO be like the mother physically,
mentally and morally, the more so as
the left hand is maKfcstly clearer than
the right. n. Il. Campbell, in 81. Louis
Republican.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
The Baker Family.

Baker is well known rs a common
surname. As trade description, the
word has not, in some parts OF York
shire, been common until within the
last few years, the reason being that
baking has been In those districts main
" domestic operation. The cogno-
mems Bagster and Barter would seem
to DO mt to the former agency of women
in pro ressional rs well as home baking,
for they answer TO ''bakester, the fem
is of spinner" and ''malster'' of
matter" but the feminine termination
'ster'' lost its distinctive meaning in
the fourteenth century, and we shall
presently find it appended to names in
dicatiDg pursuits which could scarcely
have been followed by females at any
time. The name Pdntrg-originally
Dc la Pdneterie - represents the
officer having charge of the bread
store in large establishments OF
olden time. If there be now no
calling exactly answering to his,
we may, by the exercise of a little
fancy, trace parallel to it in an exist
ing one which was certainly unknown
when his became a surnams-that Of
the relieving officer" the agent and
representative of our modern poor laws.
so to speak, keeps the bread-room es-
tablished by statute, and opens it for
the needy of the great national house.
hold. In the cognominal oddity Bac-
chus we have the Baker again, though
in disguise. The word refers to him as
a resident or worker at the medieval
bakehouse: ''thus the provider of bread
has assimulated himself TO the tutelar
divinity of wine." and we may at this
point appropriately pass for a moment
from occupations connected with the
sta of life to those relating to what
have jocularly called ''life
itself, taking that expression to stand
for alcoholic refreshment in general
Gentlenaan's Magazine.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
Youths Department.
THE "MoTHERs ROOM"

rm awfully sorry for poor Jack Roe;
Hes that boy that lives with his aunt you
know;
And he says his house is nlled with gloom
Because Il has got no mothers ROOM.
tell you what, 1t 10 fine enough
To talk OF " boudolrs" and such fancy stun,
But the room or rooms that seems best 10
me,
The room where I'd always rather be.
ls mothers room, where o fellow can rest.
And talk or the things his heart loves best.
What IL do get dirt about,
And sometimes startle my aunt with a eh0utt
IL is mother room. and IL she don't mind,
To the hints of others rm always blind.
May be lose my thiugs-what then?
In mothers room fiud them again.
And I've never denied thar litter the floor
With marbles and tops and many things
more;
But tell you. for boys with q tired head,
II IL jolly to rest IL on mothers bed.
Now poor Jack Roe when he visits me,
take him tn mothers room. you see,
Because it's fhe incest place 20 go
When a fellows spirits are getting low
And mother she's always kind and sweet,
And there's always a smile poor Jack to
greet.
And somehow the sunbeams seem to glow
More brightly In mothers room. know,
Than anywhere else. and you'll never find
gloom
Or any old shadow In mothers room.
Mary ID. Brine On Hampers Young People.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25
ME AND MARY.

All my feelin's In the spring
Oits 80 blame contrary
i cant think OF any hing
Only me and Mary
Me and Maryi" AL the time,
Me and Maryf" Ike a rhyme,
Keeps a.dingin' on tili TIN
Sick OF mo and Mary
I" Ne and Mary 81 US two
Only was together
Playin' like we usoi TO do
Ia the April weather."
All tho night and ali the day
keep wishin' thataWay
TIL I'm Rittin' old aud gray
jest on "Mo and Maryl"
Muddy vt along the pike
Sencc the winters frcezin',
And the orchards ackai dixie
bloomiu out this season.
Only hoerd one blucbird yit-
Nary robin nor tomtit;
what's the how and My OF it2
s'pcct It's mo and MaryF'
Mo and Mary liked tho birds
Thatis, Mary sortO'
Likyd 'em fist. and afterwards
Wy I thought orto.
Right here with me like she should
AL for me and Mary.
Birds or not, I'm hOpin' some
can git % plowinl
~ the sun u only como,
And tho lord allowin',
Guess 20 morry I'll turn In
And ~ down 10 work uRin.
This here lOafcrin' won't win:
Not for mo aud Mary.
For man that lovcs like me.
And afeard v ma ne Il,
TIL slmo otpVs teller, no
.6its th9 Girl -dad-shamo-lti
VET or ary. or cloud or sun
MllSr gone or lest begun
Vgt-door work Tor mo or none.
No moro Mo aud Mary"
u. ". RLcy. IN Indianapolis Journal
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25

That our pastures generally are inn
and need renovating is adj
mitted by all. As to what is the best
method of attaining the desired inn
is not so evident Flowing
and re-seeding is the method often
and is frequently prac-
ticed. The result, however. is not al-
ways salts ractory. 1t is found that the
sod of re-seeded pastures does not bear
the tramping of cattle nor hold out to
produce a good growth of grass so well
as an old sod kept in good condition. If
q pasture is covered with good sod. it
would not be wise to pillow it. A good
pasture sod usually contains great
variety of nutritious grass Usually
the more kinds of grasses there are the
more plants there will be to the square
foot and the more feed will be produced.
Some interesting investigations have
been made in this direction. A square
foot OF sod, taken from a rich natural
pasture which was capable of fattenng
one large OK and three sheep to the
acre, was found to contain 1 100 plants,
consisting of $40 natural grasses and 60
clover and other plants, embracing 20
distinct species. An old pasture of a
damp, moist and messy surface, con-
tanned in a square foot of sod 634 plants
of distinct species. A good pasture
laid down two years to rye-grass and
white clover contained, to the square
foot, 40 plants consisting of two spe-
cies. 1t will be seen that where only
two kinds of seed were used in seeding
there were only 470 plants to the square
foot, while the rich old pasture land on
which were found 20 distinct species
contained 1000 plants. The fact that
the more kinds of grass there are grow
ing in the soil the more plants there
will be to the square foot, and conse-
quently the more and better feed, en-
forces the Importance of using a large
variety of seed in seeding land for
pasture.
In seeding for pasture it is import
ant to have such a mixture of grasses
as will afford a succession of good
grasses maturing ut different periods.
Some grasses start early in the spring.
and are of little value later on. Others
are at their best late in the season. BY
combining the different kinds, good
pasturage can be secured throughout
the season. For this purpose Mr..
Charles l.. Flint, in his Grasses and
Forage Plants" recommends the fol-
lowing combination for seeding perma-
nent pasture:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25

=" Whistling John" is the nickname
OF John Molyneaux. of Providence. He
was so called because of a habit of
wnistling from morning until night.
For generation be was the best known
in the State. Now John
whistles no more. His mouey-of
which he had a good deals gone, his
wife Is dead aud he is to be sent to an
asylum Wetting the whistle Of this
merry whistler caused his dowpTall,-
tfVrtdeHes 2. ~ JeHrHai,
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25

One day when Erskine. the cele-
brated London lawyer and wit. was, IS
usual, on his way to Westm nster Hall.
with his large bag full of briefs. he was
accoSted by boy. who asked him If he
was . dealer in old clothes. '.No," re-
piled the counselor, these are all new
suits"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-04-25

Dickens Sketches nf Young Gen.
tlemen." published IN 1853. AID his
Sketches Of Young Couples" printed
IN 1850. have been reproduced in fac
smile, snd viii b brought cut 10 Ion
CD.