Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-21
BRIGHT BITS.

TIE question Of the hour-"What is the
time Of day"
kiss BE as / Fan Asleep is the title Of
new song. IL m ght work All right with some
men, but II would wake us rIsnt up--Bartfag-
Ton HGUkegs.
SMALL feet are considered mark Of beauty,
and u small pocketDooks were consldered
likewise most Of Us wouid be really handsome.
-Ph IEdelDhiI CAr0Hicle.
A YOUSG lady in Huntington, Pa, who has
been deserted by her lover. has levied on MS
farm. She merely changed her form Of at
tachmeut.-dD any Tt5aes.
TALK about bein' careful about wearin
out tile cat y ms trousers" said the boy to
his mother. .-you don't seem 10 think o that
when your OLD slippers aEoln IT,
4 HOGsHEAD o. tobacco having fallen on a
Keltuckian and crushed him out Of symmet-
rical proportions. the ArtusIW Ir1rsier re-
marks: 1T can't De- denied that tobacco taken
IN large quantities Is injurious
REV. GEORGE II. HEPWOHTH calculates that
be has made more enemies by telling the
truth al funerals than in any other way. 1t
ought to draw crowds, though. Telling the
truth CT funerals is 8 great novelty Phid-
deLDhel CfK
DIR. HAMHOND thinks that great harm re-
suits from sending children % school at too
early an age. The best way TO 10 j. 70 send
them out 10 worry the neighh3rs. Il VIII help
the children and give the schoOlmaam rest.
-LoUisrttte COnrfer-J' uru1t.
''YEs." said t{lc actor. 1--WE had hard luck.
I've been hurt ia a -mash-up, had my pocket
picked, my wardrobe has been burned my
wife has cl0ped. But / deserve it: l don't
kick. ! have helped % iuflict { ncle Toms
Cabin on this country ,-BDst0U Post.
"GESTLENES Of the jury" said an Irish
lawyer. ait viii De FOR you 70 say whether the
defendant shall be allowed 70 come lnt0 court
with unblushing footsteps, with CLOAK Of
hypocrisy in his mouth, and draw three Dul-
locks out Of my clients pocket with lmpu-
nifty"
Another old pioneer gone, said q man
As TO a lunch counter he stTayed,
And spoke to a friend Of a comradc who had
Meath the cold sod been recently laid.
Yes. ISN'T ii sad.' was the feeling reply,
a his hand to his mouth often flew,
a nd see the coincidence lmunchlag q pie.
Here's another old pie near gone too:
-Bt@sQrcF tribune.
WILL u. NICHOLAS. the witty managing
editor Of the Washington Ndti0HaJ RepHbit-
cqn. shutters badly. II is said Of him that
when he was the city editor Of the indianapolis
Yelcs one OF the State House Commissioners
explained 70 him what kind Of a superlnten-
dent they wanted. lie must be-, said he,
''honest, industrious good, pure minded,
frugal, sell-saer1cing-" Il h-th-lnk.
interrupted Nicholas, ''y-y-yOH w-w-wOn't
find him. lie w-wwas c-c-c-c-cruciled
a-b-bout 1900 y-years a-g-go."
We have received a Hot BL1st from Alabama
whence we might naturally expect hot
blast. The lot BI1st is a newspaper, and 1t
contains marked account Of the wonderful
feats Of one Charles Williams. who, is stated,
''whcn a young man before the war left Nor
ristOWn. Pa. after serving his time IN rail-
road machine shop Charles, j. p further
stated. has discovered a secret which enables
him 10 lift a locomotive, or steamboat, by
simply placing his hands under them. Mr..
Williams has either made q wonderful dis
cOvcry. or the Alabama paper tells a colossal
lie: but what this country wants is the dis
cOyery q "a secret which viii enable q man 10
lift a mortgage on Il church. or his house, by
simply placing his hands on the building
NOrrtsf01Cn Herdfd.