The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-01-17

have received by return of mail scOr
of utterly precious titles. As Lord Ten.
nyson-D Eyncourt of Aldworth he is
decidedly over-sparred in point of title,
and his future poetry will not command
entire confidence.
THAT AWFULLY BAD BOY.
And How He Plays 1t ON the Fear.
ola Deceived Parent,
Peck's Milwaukee Sun.
II guess your pas losses in the silver
mine has made him crazy, h,yen't
they" said the grocery man to the bad
boy, as he came in the store with hi
eye winkers singed off, and powder
marks on his face, and began to play or
the harmonica, as he sat down on the
end of a stick of stove wood and bal
anccd himself -.
ooh, I guess not. He has hedged.
He got in with deacon of another
church, and sold some of his stock to
him, and pa saws if / keep my COM
denim mouth shut he will unload the
whole of it. if the church holds out.
He goes to new church every night
there is a prayer meeting, and makes ma
60 with him, to give him tone, and after
meeting she talks with the sisters about
how to piece silk bed quilt, while pa
gets in his work selling silver stock. I
don't know what he will order some
more stock from the factory, if he sells
all he has got," and the boy went on
playing "There's a Land that is Fairer
than Day."
"But what was he skipping up street
for the other night with his hat off, grab
bling at his coat tails as though they were
on fire? I thought never saw pussy
man run any faster. And what was the
celebration down OH your street about
that time? l thought the world was COM
Ing to an end" and the grocery man
kept away from the boy, for fear he
woald explode.
20, that was only i'enian scare
'Nothin' serious. You see pa is sort c.
half Englishnan. He claims to be an
American citizen, when he vans of.
dee. but when they talk about draft he
claims to be subject of Great Britain,
and he says they can't touch him. Pa is
a darned smart man, and don't you for
get it. There don't any of them get
ahead of pa much. Well, pa has said
good deal about the wicked Fenjans,
and that they ought to be pulled, and all
that, and when I read the story in the
papers about the explosion in the Brit
ish parliament pa wac hot. He said tho
damerish was running the whole world.
He didn't say it at the table or our hired
girl would have knocked him silly with
a spoonful of mashed potatoes, cause
she's nirish girl, and she can lick any
Englishman in this town. Pa said there
ought to have been somebody there to
have taken that bomb and throwed it in
the sewer before itexploded. He said if
he ever should see bomb he should grab
it right up and throw it away where it
wouldn't hurt anybody. Pa has me
read the papers to him nights, cause his
eyes have got splinters in 'em, and after
l Lad read all there was in the paper l
made up lot more and pretended to
read it, ABOUT how it was rumored that
the Fenians here in Milwaukee were
going to place dynamite bombs at every
house were an Englishman lived, and
at a given signal blow them all up. Pa
looked pale around the gills, but he
said he wasn't scared. Pa and ma were
going to call on she deacon that has
lots of money in the bank, to see il she
didn't want to invest in dead-sure pay
ing silver mine, and me and my chum
concluded to give them a send-oH. We
got my big black injy- rubbey football and
painted 'Dinymight' in big white let
ters on 1t, and tied piece oftarred rope
to it for fuse, and got q fire. cracker,
one of those old Fourth of July horse
scarers, and basket full of b. oxen glass.
We put the football in front of the step,
lit the tarred sope, and got under the
step with the firecracker and basket
where they go down intb the basement
Pa and ma got out the front door and
down the steps, and pa saw the football
and the barning fuse, and he said, Great
God! Hammer, we are blowel up!" and
he started to run, and ma she stopped
to look at it. just as pa started to run l
touched off the tirecracker, and my chum
arranged it to pour out the broken glass
on the brick pavement just as the fire.
f fbiefer wen went inst o W We every
e eS "e ma. JUST She We ad eAp exam
ined the foot ball, and concluded it was
not dangerous, and was just giving it
kick as the firecyacker went Of, and the
glass fell, and the irecracker was so near
her that it scared her, and when pa
looked around ma was flying across the
sidewalk, and pa heard the noise and
he thought the house was blown to
atoms. 0, you'd dido to see him 20
around the corner. You could play GRO
kay on his coat-tail, and his face was as
pale as mas when she goes to party
But ma didn't scare much. AS quick as
she stopped against the hitching post
she knew it was us boys, and she came
down there, and maybe she didn't maui
me. l cried and tried to gain her SYM
pathy by telling her the firecracker went
off before it was due, and burned my
eyebrows off, but she didn't let up until
l promised to 60 and find pa. tell you,
my ma ought to be engaged by the Brit.
ish government to hunt out the dy-
nam 9Me shH would Id corral then
S west6 as a mas mea ne cham
went and headed pa oE.or I guess he
would he running yet. We got him up
by the lake shore, and he wanted to
know if the house fell down. He said
he would leave it to me if he ever said
anything against the Fenians, and told
him he had always claimed that the Fe-
mans were the incest men in the world,
and it seemed to relieve him very much.
When he got home and found the house
there he was tickled, and when ma CALI
ed him an old bald headed coward, and
said it was only joke of the boys with
q foot ball he laughed right OUT and said
he knew it all the time, and he ran to
see if ma would be scared. And then
he wanted to hug me but it wasn't my
night to hug and went down to the
theatre. Pa don't amount to much
when there is trouble. .
The Little Feet.
s"Rerley," in his interesting 'Reminis-
nceces," giving resume of the infor-
nation gained by long residence at
Washington as newspaper correspond
emit, has the following:
For some years the wife of the Hon.
E. B. Washbourne. afterward American
minister at Paris, was regarded as the
poseessor ofthe most diminutive as well
as the best shaped foot in Washington.
Then came Mrs. Grant, who carried of
Tho roln, vicfnrinnalv and yvoro nI1mhor