The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-10-25
WHITE HOUSE cRANks
Crazy Callers ON the Presfdenf.-.Tl
Red Man or Revelations.


Red Man or Revelations.
FCor. Pittsburg Commercial Gazette.]
TheWhite House is a very popular re-
sort with cranks. Every crank who
comes to Washington imagines he has
some important business with the presi-
dent. Some days the lynx-eyed SER
geant on guard at the White House
door turns away ten or twelve
crazy people. The sergeant was
asked how he managed to dis
tingu;sh the cranks from the ordinary
business callers. Its not much
trouble he said. "But since the
shooting of Garfield we have been es-
pecially watchful of all the presidents
visitors. Usually we spot a crank on
sight. There is wandering of the
eyes, or an abruptness of speech, or a
wi1dness of gesture, or some peculiarly
of dress or manner.
This, however, isnot always the case.
I remember short time ago I was on
duty in the grounds one night when a
reception was going on. I was ap-
preached from the White House portico
by a tall. clean-shaved. middle-aged
man, neatly dressed in a black walking
suit, who asked in q tone as if he merely
wanted chat with some one; Are you
a watchman here?' In that 1ine,' said
I. 'The president is giving reception,
] believe?' I believe he is, said T..
"A public reception, isn't itg
asked the stranger. 7 don't
know anything about that I
answered. Would you take me to be Q
respectable citizen ? was the next ques-
ton. Hardly able to judge on so short
an acquaintance, said I. The stranger
chuckled quietly at this and said,
Quite right; but from my general ap-
sation, would you set me down as re-
spectacle or otherwise?' Respectable,
said I. Just So And yet, in this great
and glorious land of the free,' sarcas
tically said he, "a respectable citizen is
suddenly turned away from the door Of
the executive mansion by funkeys
when he simply seeks, with other
citizens to pay his respects to
the officer they have chosen
by ballot to preside over them; at q
time, too, set apart, it is understood
for the purpose But perhaps said
I, there must have been reason. Per-
haps you are mistaken, and this is not
public reception Asked if I had q
card,' continued the stranger, indig-
nantly ignoring my last remark)
questioned and cross examined as if /
was felon or conspirator, and the
door then shut in my face. All right,
| if this is st. Petersburg. and this is the
1 palace of the czar, pointing to the
| White House. UNANIMOUSLY wrong il
this is Washington and that is the
White House.
$50 far there had not been anything
in the mans manner Or talk to indicate
that he was anything more than Visi
tor to the city, Disguised and Indignant
at his disappointment at being sum
marily deprived of what he perhaps
considered his only chance Will,
here to see the president; bu
suddenly changing his manner after hi
last remark, he abruptly asked me il
the sepulchral tones of the ghost il
Hamlet, DO You ever read the bible
Sometimes [ answered. Did yo1
ever read the book of Revelations
| Yes DO you remember the red man
in that book 2 I can't say that do
We'll, read it again, guardian of th
night, read it again, said the stranger
adding quickly, I am the red man ther
mentioned / hold in my hands th
fates of nations and their rulers.
make and unmake presidents-W Wash
ington, Jefferson. Jackson, Lincoln
Grant, and this man Arthur
They were elected, yes, but cleo
tions can not change destiny
That / control Let the present oc
cupant of tie White House beware
and with threatening shake of hi
long foreinger at the mansion, the mai
started down the flag sidewalk towar'
the gateway. Now, if that fellow hat
got in he might have behaved as vel
as anybody. But in case he had go
started on the book Of Revelation
there is no knowing what might hav
happened. "