Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-07-02
BRIGHT BITS.
A RELIGIOUS EXCHANGE says there are com :
plants that children are again ih-treated ID

A RELIGIOUS EXCHANGE says there are COM
plants that children are again h-treated IN
the Old Gentlemen's Ursectarian Home.
ONE would suppose that the coming Of pen
MES by the government would hardly pay, as
it takes ten mills to make one cent.--IsrGs
Slftiags.
A FAcT-Mild Gent. Ito fisher boy): "I'm
sorry to hear you were the worse for liquor
last night sam; you take after your father"
Sam: NO. sir; father never leaves none 70
take F'-AoOnsAsae.
AN Arizona episode-Two drinks. Two
more. A friendly game Of poker More
drinks. Jack pot. More drinks. Four tens;
Lively betting. FOIr aces Seventeen pistol
shots. One inquest. Much public enthusiasm
lariat. One posse Of citizens. a battering
ram. Al necktfe party Editorial in the local
paper on ''Strides Of Ciyilization."-Lsfs.
FIRST NARTYR-You take your wife to the
Oaks. OF course. Second martyr-No; 100
seedy, too nervous TO undertake the -responsi-
bility, my boy; so shall go quietly ~ mLs sen
Your wife goes with you, thouGnf Flrst
martvr-NO: too hard up-posltlvely can't
afford the usual drag and hamper this Year, so
must 90 alone. Martyrs sslmul g neousiyJ-
Suppose we run down togetnerF-FuE.
ssPAPA." asked a little boy, ga man who
steals loaf OF bread is a thief, isn't he?"
ssYes. a dastardly thief" us man who
steals $1,000 thief. toos" well no, my
boy, scarcely. Defaulter, think, Is the more
appropriate word" Sand what Is he called
when be steals million dOllars?" There Is
no sneh thing as steqIia0 million dollars, my
son. 1t is termed 'diverting.' When gen.
tleman diverts a million dollars he IS spoken
OF as a fnancier. - Christian at Work.
AMERICAN FABLES: A sage's Advice
A Young man who was just Starting out IN
life went to a Noted Sage, and inquired ::
"HOw shall | gain the Friendship OF the
Worids" By Speaking well OF all men,, was
the reply In few months the young man
returned and cried out: "Oh, Sage. you have
wrought my RUM Because l spoke Wen 20, o.
all men the World soon Discovered that dlq
not Realize the Difference between the Good
and the Bad, and ] am called an lqlot
MOral-It is well enough TO make distinction
between the man who returns your lost W ailet
and the chap who steals your Coat ana ALL
Detroit Free Press.
THE Athen@um Club of London is thought
by some of its irreverent members to be rather
too full of the episcopal element. When the
United Service Club is under repair, ITS mem
bers sometimes seek refuge in the Athen8um.
When the Athenaum visits the United SER
vice il Imparts an ecclesiastical character TO
the latter. Once, the first night that the
Athenaum members arrived there, an aged
warrior descended the stairs at midnight ana
went to the stand for his umbrella. 1t had
vanished, and a thund5r storm was going on.
Gone" rOared out the feroclOus veteran
''Of course it is gone. This comes OF letting
IN those - bishOps!"
THE DEAD UMPIRE
Still the balls ring upon the sunlit grass,
Still the big elms, deep shadowed, watch the
play:
And ordered game and loyal conflict pass
The hours of May.
But the games guardian, mute, nor needing
more
What suns may gladden., and what airs may
blow,
Friend, teacher, playmate, helper, counsellor,
Lies resting now.
"Over"-they move, as bids their leldman's
art;
With shifted scene the strife begins anew;
'Over'-we seem 10 hear him, but his part
Is over, too.
Dull the best speed, and vain the surest grace
SO seemed it ever-till there moved along
Brimmed hat and cheering presence, and tried
face
Amid the throng.
No earthly umpire speaks his grave above;
And thanks are dumb, and praise is all too
late;
That worth and truth, that manhood and that
love
Are hid, and wait. Pal Mall Gazette.