davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1884-08-23
moral Sense IN monkeys.

Monkeys are saucy and insolent, al
ways making an attempt to bully and
terrify people, and biting those first
who are most afraid Of them. An i'm
pertinent curiosity run through all
their actions; they never can let things
alone, but must know what is going for
ward. If a pot or a kettle is set on
the fire, and the cook turns her back,
the monkey whips off the cover to see
what she has put into it, ever though
he cannot get at 1t without setting his
feet upon the hot bars of the CRATE.
Every monkey delights in mischief. Ii
he takes up a bottle Of ink, he empties
it upon the floor. He unfolds all your
papers and scatters them about the
room, and what he cannot undohe tears
to pieces; and it is wonderful to see how
much Of this work lie will do in a few
minutes when he happens to get loose.
When the wild monkeys have escaped
to the tops Of trees the people below
who want to catch them show them the
use of gloves by putting them on and
pulling them off repeatedly, and, when
the monkeys are supposed tOhave taken
the hint, they leave plenty of gloves,
upon the ground, having first lined
them with pitch. The monkeys come
down, put on the gloves, but cannot
pull them off again, and when they are
surprised betaking themselves to the
tree as usual, they slide backwards,
and are taken. A late friend and
neighbor of mine in the country kept a
monkey who took to riding his hogs,
especially one of them, which he CON-
monty singled out as fttest for his use,
and, leaping upon its back, with its face
towards the tail, he whipped it unmer-
cifully, and drove it about till it could
run no longer. A well known noble
man once had a wild horse whom no.
body could ride. 81 know not what
your lordship "a do with him." said
one, ''but to set the monkey upon his
back" So they put a pad to the horse,
and set the monkey upon it with a
switch in his hand, which he used upon
the horse, and set him into a furious
kicking and galloping; but Peg kept
his seat, and exercised his switch. The
horse lay upon the ground, but when
he threw himself on one side, the mon
key wa up on the other. He ran into
a wood with him, to brush him off; but
if a tree or a bush occurred on n side,
the monkey slipped to the other side;
till at last the horse was so sickened,
fatigued, and broken-spiFited, that he
a home to the stable for protection.
When the monkey was removed, a boy
mounted HIM, who managed him with
ease, and he never gave any trouble af-
forwards. If all the qualities of the
monkey are put together, they consti-
tute what is properly called Immature;
and if any person would know what
an ill-natured man is, that man is a
monkey to all intents and purposes,
with the addition of reason, which
makes his character much worse.
The Penn's Grove record., 1884-08-23
Captured the pime.

Jimmy Tough is probable the most
widely known of the newsboys in Pitts
burg. He is about a yard high, is ex-
tremely careless about his personal APP
pearance, has a very, very roguish eye,
and is a great gambler. He crossed
Fifth avenue to where "Limpy'' Nc
Mahon stood, in front of Tony Newell's
and with a bluffing swagger said:
II ken beat you runnin' for a nickle,
'Limpy.'"
"Limpy." who travels with the aid
of a crutch, meekly responded: "Umph!
Anybody kin do that"
"Well, if you want to gamble" said
"Toughy," en- bet 1 KIN sit on one o.
them cakes o. ice longer'n you kim"
"Limpy' felt about in the uttermost
recesses of his pocket and gathered
together five pennies. and, without say
ing a word, handed them to one of sew
eral bystanders who had become inter-
ested. 'Toughy" followed his action
and each gravely sat down upon a cake
Of ice which lay on the sidewalk.
The stakeholder took out his watch.
For five minutes they sat there, and
then "Toughy" began to squlrm. He
complained that his "pants" were not
what they should be, and that he was
therefore at a disadvantage. at five
minutes and a half he could stand the
chill no longer, and jumped up and ran
across the street, crying that the ice
was burning. "Limpy" sat still thirty
seconds longer, and captured the dime.
The Penn's Grove record., 1884-08-23
ora Coins.

Three hundred silver coins bearing
the efigy of Queen Elizabeth have been
found by six men while walking IN
Crawshay's Cray, PontYpridd. The
coins, which were discovered concealed
in a stone mountain wall, bear dates
ranging from 1910 to 1905, those of the
latter date having inscribed the eflgy
of King James l., the prodles being
clear and distinct. The collection has
been given up to the police.
The Penn's Grove record., 1884-08-23

One mans word is no mans word
we should quietly hear both sides.
Avarice starves its keeper to surfeit
those who wish him dead.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
MARYLAND. FRIDAY MORNING. MAY is. 1884.

ao,;ro. 90 ,ho .oh.,ou aoaa 30 ,h. anon
49,. - Ia - ~ - 49, shol oanva,
~ ,ha ,,nroha,a, ,ha "a ,ronar,r AVA shall
ho nroH,mn,;va an;aanco tho, oil IL reouira-
nnoa,s ~ iaw hosa haon no,,ni;ad viii in
noL;nr snoh saio ara dood
g. On An5ka ~ onao,ad Th,, ,ho cb;af
hs;,ig shall ,naLe az, co,,oc,;ons r.on;red Of
him md nav ,ba 90 mo - ,ha cIerL within civ
,nor,hs frnn, tho time Tho ,ax Hi ia nlaced in
h;s hanas
Ssc o. And ho !, oroc,.a Tho, tho chief
ha;I;g shall at,ana ,,,a n,oo,;rr 81 ,he can
missioners and nerform snch dnties as ,hev
shall direc, !. shall nrs serve The noace and
GOOD order Of ,he town and far ms nnrnose
nvastad ,y,,h ,Lo save no,yar ana an,hnr;ty
as anv constable has nnder tho laws Of he
s,.,a
Soc % Ana ha !, o,oe,ad Tho, tho nras;-
dsnt shall reside a. ali mee,;ncs or the com
mjssioners and shall have ali The mowers of a
iustice of The neace in criminal cases where
iha comn,;ss;onor, a ro "a nar,v, and shall ra-
ce;va Inc same eees allowsd ins,ices of, the
neaca In s;miiar coses and q n anneai from bis
Judgment ,yhere ,he demnna ~ fine exceed
five dollars will he taken TO The circuit court
for Monipomerv county. which shall henr and
determine The matter as unon anneals from
iustices of The peace
Sec "a And he IL enacted. That the chief
bailiff shall have the same fees for making
distress for taxes as are allowed county col
lec,ors, and for making arrests or serving
process for violations of ANY ordinances of the
corporation the same as are allowed consta-
lies for similar services. and when the bailifI
willlully fails TO discharge any duties of his
Office he may be fined not exceeding ten dol
lars for any one offence.
Sec "a. Aud be II enacted, That any fines,
penalties aud iorieitures imposed by this char
ter or by any ordinance o! the commissioners,
may be collected by proceedings in the name
OF the commissioners or Justice Oh tue peace )
ana Tue sara presluent OF Justice OF 'he peace
shail nave power 10 COMMIT tne onenuec 10
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
CHAPTER 273.

AN ACT to repeal aud re-enact section fifty
five and subsection one of the Code of
Public Local Laws of Maryland, title
Montgomery county subtitle Crock
ville,' as enacted by chapter ninety-seven
Of the act of assembly passed at January
session, eighteen hundred and eighty, and
TO re-enact the same so as TO read as follows;
SECTION |. Be it enacted by the General
Assembly Of Maryland, That section fifty
five and subsection one of chapter Ninety
seven, as enacted by chapter ninety-seven
of the acts OF assembly passed at Janu-
AIRY session, eighteen hundred and eighty, be
and the same are hereby repealed, and the
following section and subsection be and they
are hereby enacted in lieu thereof:
Sec. 55 The commissioners for Rockville
shall at their first meeting in the month Of
May next, appoint three judges Of election for
the town Of Rockville, who shall be substan-
tial citizens and residents In the corporate
limits Of said town for at least two years next
preceding their appointment, The Judges Of
election 50 appointed shall give al least two
weeks previous noticein the newspapers pub
lished at Rockville of the time and place OF
holding an election for three commissioners
OF Rockville, which day of election shall be
on the first Monday in June next, and on the
first Monday of June every two years there
after the said judges Of election shall ap
point one clerk and the holding of such election
shall be regulated and governed by the same
laws as are now applicable to State elections,
except that the hours of holding such elec-
ton shall be from two clock p. m. TO seven
o'clock p. M,
Sub-Sec. /. BE itenacted, Thatall elections
shall be by ballot, and every male citizen OF
the United States, of the age of twenty-one
years or upwards, who has been resident
within the corporate limits of the town of
Rockville for twelve months next preceding
the election, shall be entitled 10 vote at all
elections for Commissioners for Rockville"
which election shall be held on the first Mon
day in June next and every two years there.
after, on the first Monday in the month Of
june such voters shall elect three COMMITS
sioners for Rockville. 10 serve tor two years
from the date of their election and until their
successors are elected and qualified; the COM
missioners must be substantial citizens, resi-
dents in said corporate limits, and must have
resided therein for at least two years next
preceding their election, and continue 10 do
so during their continuance in Office, they
shall receive no pay for their services, except
the president, who shall receive the fees here
inafier allowed
Sec. Q. And be it enacted. That this act
shall take effect from the date of its passage.
Approved April 8, 1884.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
Not up in Science.

He sat by the stove in a Michigan nv
enue grocery store for full twenty min.
utes before speaking. He spread out
his legs to encircle as much Of the FIRE
as possible, drew his sleeve across his
nose at regular intervals, and there was
strong smell of burning boot leather
as he finally looked up at the grocer and
asked.
Can YOU tell me WHY combustion
causes a draught?"
mo. sir" was the PROMPT reply.
Its positively wonderful how igno-
rant the masses are on scientific sub
jects," continued the man. as he helped
himself to an apple.
"Can YOU tell WHY this isipglass In
your stove is not consumed by the heat y
Il guess it's because you keep all the
heat of Y. was the sneering reply
You are 4 liar, sir, and YOU say that
to excuse your ignorance. Now, then,
what pressure does water exert on the
human body at depth of sixty feet?"
"I'll exert pressure on your body if
you call me liar again ~ exclaimed the
grocer. "What do you want here ?"
II want to ask you II you understand
the principle by which birds hy?'
"You get out of this I have no
time to fool away with such nonsense.
Nonsense |" piped the old chap;
"why | don't believe you know the
amount of oxygen you consume at each
respiration"
The grocer laid hold of the man to
draw him to the door, but he caught
Tartar and was Topped on his back.
81 exerted force of about one-eighth
horse power to accomplish that" said
the old man rs he knclt on the PROSTATE
body "A dead blow Of twenty pounds
from my fist would natten your nose,
while two pounds additional would crack
your skull"
''Git off'n me or III Stay you."
IL sieze your hair with clutch equal
10 the grasn of n hand lifting fourtean
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
9 netiEal.
KING GOLD.

III 1. W.
on, great is King Gold fromthc days of old
1 All the world hath bent before him,
And millions to-day are proud of his sway
And the shining banners DER him.
At his high command armies, marshaled
''p grand,
Are carried DER land and ocean,
While fionarclis are made where his hosts
inliintade tafe
Byhissceptre's royal motion,
In the pride Of his heart he standeth apart
And iwrappeth his ermine round him,
While Vie poor and low in their time OF woe
Still cqlous and stern have found him.
He bullqath for fame aud p sounding name,
ThmtGe rich may stare and wonder,
But never care hath his heart TO spare
For the lowly current under
Stand aside, ye knaves, kings banner
waves;
Now raise your triamphal arches,
Shout from your towers, strew the ground
Where his stately presence marches.
From the holy shrine, from Senate and mine,
Come worshipors, wildly pressing;
Oh, they would not miss that kings hand
TO kiss,
Though life were paid for the blessing.
Go to, mighty king; pray, why should we
bring
Such offerings to thy glory2,
Let the truth be told, your macstys gold
Hath only lowly story.
Though naughty thy mlcn, and cleaning
in sheen
From helmet to jeweled sabre,
Not regal thy birth-thou vast born Of earth,
And thy fathers name was Labor.
- }0af0n TIu0ae9iDf
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
AN ACT TO ESTABLISH A BOARD OF HEALTH
FOR oLNEY DISTRICT IN MONTGOMERY
COUNTy


FOR oLNEY DISTRICT IN MONTGOMERY
COUNTY. ..e
,Section /. BE 1t enacted by the General
Assembly OF Maryland, That James $. Mar
tin, M. d., VIM. Il. Magruder, M. d., Rev.
Orlando Hutton, VIM. II. Farquhar and
Henry G. Halowel, or their successors be
and they are hereby appointed a Board of
Health for Olney District Of Montgomery
County to serve without compensation.
Sec O. And be il enacted, That any va
cancy in said Board from death, resignation
or failure TO attend three successive meetings
without IL written explanation Of the cause
Of non attendance, shall be filled by the
remaining members by an election by ballot
from citizens Of said District.
Sec. 3. And be it enacted, That said Board
may determine upon such plan OF organi-
zation as will best accomplish the purpose
intended.
Sec. 4. And be II enacted, That said Board
Of Health shall have the general care Of The
sanitary interests of the residents of Olney
District; shall make sanitary Investigations
respecting the cause Of disease, and especi-
ally epidemcs; they shall inquire into and
investigate all nuisances affecting the health
Of the citizens of the District, and for this
purpose its members are authorized TO go
into any premises or into any houses and
If majority Of the Board SO direct, the
President Of the Board Is hereby authorized
and empowered TO apply TO either Of the
Judges Of Circuit Court Of Montgomery co.
by bill or petition on the name Of any
member Of the Board IN an injunction To
restrain and prevent such nuisance.
Sec. 5. And be it enacted, That if any
person shall knowingly obstruct or resist
either OF the said members Of the Board Of
Health in the execution Of the power 10
them given, or in the performance Of the
duties enjoined on them in this Act, such
person shall be deemed guilty Of INSIDE
meanor and upon indictment and convic-
ton in the Circuit Court of Montgomery
county shall be fined not less than fifty dol.
lars, nor more than two hundred dollars, or
imprisoned at the discretion Of the Court,
for not less than one month, nor more than
sixty days.
Sec. 9. And be 1t enacted, That the term
nuisance, as used in this act, shall include
filthy pig pens, privics, pools or ponds Of
stagnant water, and farm yards adjacent 10
dwellings, springs, wells and public roads,
and all other causes which may tend 70
yitiate the water supply, or otherwise affect
unlayorably the public health.
See. 7. And be IL enacted, That upon pre-
sentaton to the County Commissioners Of
Montgomery county Of sworn statement
Of expenses incurred in removing any nul.
sancc requiring immediate attention, or for
postage or other purposes necessary for
carrying out the object for which the Board
Is organized, said County Commissioners
shall pay 70 the President oil said Board the
amount Of the bill presented, provided
however, that ii shall not exceed $25 an
nually.
Sec g. And be it enacted, That this Act
shall take effect from its passage.
Approved this 9Th day Of April, 1884.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
CHAPTER l04.

AN ACT to change the name Of the village
Of MechanicsvilIe, in Montgomery county,
TO Olney and 10 change the name of Me-
gainesville District Number Eight, or the
eighth election district, to Olney District
Number Eight, or eighth election district Of
said county, and to designate the voting
pla e thereof.
SECTION l. BE il enacted by the General
Assembly of Maryland, That the name of the
village OF Mechanicsville, in Montgomery
county, he and the same is hereby changed
to Olney.
Sec Q. And be II enacted, That the name
of Mechanicsvile district number eight, or
the eighth election district OF Montgomery
county, be and the same is hereby changed 10
Olney district number eight or the eighth
election district Of said county, and that the
voting place or polls thereof shall be held Al
Olney.
Approved March 90 1884.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16

AN ACT TO change the name Of Great Falls
district, number ten, or the tenth election
district Of Montgomery county. and 10 des-
ignate the voting place hereof
SgcrIos /. BE il enacted by the Qeneral
Assembly of Maryland, That the name Of
Great Falls district number ton or the tenth
election DISTRICT Of Montgomery county. be
and the same is hereby changed TO Potomac
district, number ten, or the tenth election
district of Montgomery county, and that the
voting place or polls thereof shall be held nj
Potomac.
Approved March 70, 1884.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
CHAPTER 2l5.
AN ACT to protect fish in private fish ponds
in Montgomery county.

hN lNi W pioteOt Hoh III pIlfdtc HoH pOuuo
in Montgomery county.
SECTION |. BE it enacted by the General
Assembly of Maryland, That II any person
shall take or catch any fish or fishes from any
private fish pond in Montgomery county by
hook and line, net, or any means. whatso-
ever, without the consent Of the owner of
said fish pond, shall, upon conviction thereof
before II justice OF the peace Of said county,
be deemed guilty of a msdemeanor, and be
fined not less than five dollars nor more than
twenty dollars, or De imprisoned IN the Ma
ryland House of Correction for u period not
exceeding six months, or both fined and i'm
prisoned, at the discretion Of the justice Of
the peace trying the case.
Sec. 9 And be il enacted, That this act
shall take effect from the date Of its passage
Approved April 8, 1884.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
She Wanted a Paper of Tacks.

Old Mrs Mulkittle visited her son,
the minister, several days ago. II was
arranged that she should sleep with her
favorite grandson SO, long after the
time that children are in the land Of
Nod, she opened the door easily and
entered Willie's bedroom. The young
ster was sleeping soundly. She I'M
dressed and kneeled BY the bedside.
and when she arose the boy was up on
his elbows looking at her.
'Lie down there, sir, and 60 TO sleep"
"Ive been to sleep"
"Wcll, go to sleep again, do you
hear I"
TELL me about Little Red Riding
Hood"
Thinking that this was the best means
Of quieting him, she told the story, SUBJ
ject to many corrections on his part.
Now tell me about Jack-the-jiaat-
killer
Still hoping that she had adopted the
best method, she told him about the great
horo Of all modern boyhood.
"Now tell me about old Blue Beard"
Then she realized her error, and turn
ing severe eye on the boy, she said:
Il won't do nothing Of the kind and
want you to go sleep this minute.
Il cant 90 TO sleep in a minute.
Dogs can go to sleep as soon Us they
shut their eyes, but boys can't. Let me
got up and say my prayers"
Haven't you said EN- to-night"
eyes, but Gods forgot it by this
time"
"You good for nothin' little rascal, I
am good mind to spank you"
What for"
"For talking that way"
"How must | talk 7"
Don't talk at ALL"
"Thcn | couldn't say anything, could
IT
mo, and il would be blessed good
thing"
81 couldn't pray then, could IT.
"Hush ~
"But il | couldn't talk | couldn't
pray. Then I'd go to the bad place, an
the bad man would say. oh, yes. here's
that boy that couldn't talk. Put him
over there and roast him. Wouldn't he
say tbat?'
"No."
"What would he say?'
The old lady aounced out Of bed,
opened the door and called Mr.. Null
kittle.
"What is it, mother?'
Come, take this boy out Of here, and
bring me paper of tacks to sleep with.
I'd rather have tho nettlc rash in July"
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16

A Vermont man stolo wooden In
dian from tobacoonist and put il in u
field frequenied by bull that had once
torn the back out of his trousers with
It's horn, and nearly did him nero dam
age OF course the bull charged the
Indian and tossed it, but il was 20 hard
and heavy that II hurt bis head and
nearly broke bis neck, and when IL came
down hit him on tho back and made him
squat aud hollow with pain. And the
mau stood on the other side Of the fence
aud was so happy he could be heard a
anartar 81 n mild.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
IMPROVED FARMS
AT Private sale.

CONTAINING respectively
~ ZIG, 1856, 100, 2GG aud los Acres.
Convenient 10 the Railroad aud Washington
and Georgetown pixies.
ALEX. KlLGOUR,
Attorney.at-l.aw, Rockville, Md.
apr ls-tf
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16

This month is going to be dry one.
remarked convivial fellow to his COM
panion. "IIow can you tell p asked
the dependent friend. my money has
all gone" was the glum reply.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16

"No you don't; you must pay as yon
60 y exclaimed the landlord, As hs
caught an impecunious boarder trying
to skip away.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
GOOD WATCH FOR $500.

~ THE WATERBURY WATCH is sim
ga pie 10 construction, keeps good time,
aEA.1 and Is remarkably cheap. This watch
is certainly novelty and well worth the at
tention of those who wish u reliable time
piece at merely nominal price. Call and
see for yourself at the Store OF
$. d. HIGGINS 4 SON,
july IA Rockville, Nd
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16

No man who loves not tho truth can
love woman in the grand way woman
ought to be loved.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16

81 never knew any man, says an old
author, "who could not bear another's
misfortunes perfectly" This reminds us
of the old lady who thought every ca
lamity that happened to herself trial,
and every one that happened to her
friends Judgment.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1884-05-16
Willet 81 Libbey.

We have hand complete stock of Lumber of all kinds,
which we selling at If you in need of
ANYTHING line will be your interest to give call
before ordering.