Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-09-10
Annual "Elegy of Grief" for the Hawk.
eye DemOcrats-An Eminent Man
Who Is Dead and Doesn't
Know 1t.
Uonsciences with Alum in 'Em-Tight
Pants and Hay-Fever- DESERVING
Learned Profession to Be-
come Hangman.
From the Chicago Tribune

man of 26 who was notified of his Selec-
ton as Temporary Chairman only few
minutes before he was called to the chair.
1t was delivered with such telling effect that
it carried the convention by storm. 1t
is filed with effective shots. Mr.. Dolliver
has rapidly developed great popularity as
speaker, and is now recognized in Iowa as
the leader of the young Republicans. He
has been invited to go into the national
campaign, and in a few days will take the
stump in West Virginia and later in the
canvass will speak in Ohio and Indiana:
Gentlemen of the Iowa Republican Convention:
Out of the abundance of my heart thank you
for the honor which your favor has conferred
upon me. 1t builds up mans political consti-
tuition to take front view OF the sf1g hitting
strength of the Republican party of Iowa. If
any of you have friends that are bothered with
political dyspepsia, who lind trouble in selecting
from the printed bin of fare OF Republican
politics, advise you to bring them here and let
them look in the face of this magnificent assem-
bly,. Your conventions have always been de-
Lucrative, your nominations representative
your campaigns popular, and your ballot-boXes
too full for utterance OF straight Republican
tickets. Consequently, Democrat has not been
seen on the streets OF an Iowa city after o'clock
on election night for quarter of a century.
The music OF the telegraph office has been their
annual elegy of grief They look upon bulle-
tn-board as an enemy of free government, and
accept the first half OF Franklin S maxim, early
to bed, when the returns coming in.
DEMOCRATIC BANKRUPTCY.
The first act of the Democratic party is to file
schedule in bankruptcy Already their prop
.erty is out OF their own name. Their national
standard is in the hands of a man whose name
is not disclosed by the Democratic national
record Four years ago his name could have
prudently been used as alias under which to
travel inco9nito all over the known world out
side Of Buffalo. To elect him President would
be like lending money to stranger on the train
1t takes the cheek of the Democratic managers
to play the whole American people for suckers
I thank God that we belong to party that
saves the crown of its public honor for the
brow of its actual leadership. With the Demo
cratic party nominations are made not so much
TO represent the party as to disguise 1t. In its
long struggle for existence the men who have
made the history of the party go to the wall. 1t
is the only party that ever existed whose candI-
dates and platform never throw any light what
ever either en- its management or it's faith. In
fact. modern Democrats of the practical school
have no creed except the oath Of office. All the
important Democratic principles are unfit for
use. They have been LETT out in the field just
where they were used last, with not even a
bunch OF swamp grass thrown over them-ln
sun and rain, until rot and rust have done their
fatal work
1t is true they talk piously OF the need Of re-
form. and with an ineXcUSable libel accuse the
integrity OF the Republican civil service. They
work their fayorlte classical allusion to the Au-
gean stables for all there is in it. These, they
assert, must be cleaned out. Yet from the gen.
eral appearance of the crowd that is on hand to
do the business, the average citizen is likely to
conclude that their intention is to steal the fork
rather than clean out the bran.
1t Is true they pre-empt all sides of the tariff
question They profess to settle that issue by a
jargon Of words without precedent in the an
mails of nonsense and confusion. You might as
well try to fit the hundred-headed dog of the
ancient fable with a straw hat as to place can
aid and Ineligible tariff platform under the
feet of the Democratic party. They approach
that question and nearly every other like man
enDtying hard-coal ashes in high wind, with
their eyes shut and their backs to the subject.
AN EMINENT DEMOCRAT.
What must be the thoughts of like Mr..
Thomas A. Hendricks as he sits in his law Office
and looks at the top shelf of his library, and
IOllIZL
Globes from 1850 to 1880, from the fugitive
slave law TO the resumption of specie payments?
Dean Swift used to say that censure is a tax a
man pays 20 the pubic Tor being eminent. 1t
is not the fault of Mr.. Hendricks that the Con-
gressional record connects him with all the
blunders and treasons OF recent politics. 1t is
the tax a man pays to his generation for the
luxury of having been an eminent Democrat.
Victor Hugo, somewhere in the masterpiece of
y,rase fiction relates a singular dream of lean
Vatican, in which the unfortunate man is car
xied back his vision to the streets of his
native village, and there, in the midst of the
gloom and ashes and dust of things, inter-
viewed by gentleman, who solemnly asks him
ebe e are ss on sop b n9e you
thought that if Mr.. Hendricks could once get
himself enlightened by appropriate vision
and wander back in his dreams to the familiar
scenes of his public career, he would need no
assistance TO enable him to hear more than one
voice solemnly asking the same questions:
Where are you going? Do you not know you
have been dead a long timer"
THE FRAUD ISSUE
Mr.. HENDRICKS IS placed upon the democratic
ticket-not TO recall the history of the Demo-
cratic party. No thoughtful Democrat wants
that remembered He is on the ticket for the
avowed purpose of reviving the superstition that
surrounds the electoral count OF 1877. With
characteristic stupidity the Democratic man
ayers still think that the American people have
never slept well since that celebrated question
of mathematics up for settlement They
seem to be afflicted with a sort of intellectual
shiftessness that keeps them from the under
standing that the fraud issue died at Cincinnati
in 1880 by the hand Of Thomas A. Hendricks
The Indictment of an alleged momentous out
rage cannot be dismissed for want of prosecu-
ton and the papers in the left under the
dust of eight years without losing interest TO the
travelling public With all due respect to Col
Vii S, OF Wisconsin, / say the statute of hInita.
tions does run. The descendants of Cleopatra
might well bring SUIT against the estate Of
Marx Antony as gar.d Tor the the Democrats
gentlemen who were caught between the wheels
of the Electoral Commission. In truth, the
American people, remem berlng the long years Of
political rapine that have given the South to the
Democratic party, and finding Mr.. Tilden anC
Mr. Hendricks the Immediate and responsible
beneficiaries of these years of felony against
the ballot-box ia the South, have never, to any
visible degree, bewailed their memorable failure
to catch the raj! of the h!nd car In 1877. Fol
one | thank the Democratic party for the fraud
issue Miserable and useless in itself, it affords
the country proper occasion to recall thai
strange decade from 1869 to 1876, during which
the Democr attic party, upon the ruins of the re-
bellion, contrived their infamous conspiracy
against the civil rights of the people that in ter
election day farce. Laboulaye, the great
French Liberal, now dead, just after the civil
war IN the United States, took occasion to say
that the Republican party of America holds in
its hands the future of civilization" That was
true then. 1t is true now. 1t is more certain
that the Republican party shall have future
than that 4 has had history
THE KICKERS.
Now and then you find Republican who en-
TOYS the monetary Importance that belongs tC
the kicker and the scratcher. The shortest road
to celebrity nowadays is to advertise your con-
science in the newspapers. There are Republic
cans who treat their conscience as if it were the
stock in trade of a baking powder factory
They solemnIy protest that everybody's con-
science has alum in it except theirs They
adopt the doctrine of Matthew Arnold and in
sist that in order to be safe the nation must
furnish the remnant with complimentary tick
cts and a front seat. They would have the
country govern itself by the advice OF persons
whose names, if / may borrow phrase from
your good friend Gov. Carpenter, are written in
the herd-book of high political grades.
Only last month a convention was held in 4
New York parlor in which the only credentials
called for by the committee were written pre-
tense of holiness and the only creed required o.
the mem bership Il believe In the com
znFlnion of the saints of Beacon Hill and Frank