The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1884-02-13
ORAB.F1SHINd.
Mrs. spoopendyke's Vain Attempt
to Redeem Herself as q
Fisherwoman.
rBroOklvn Eagle.

brooklyn Eagle.J
"Now you be careful" Mr.. Spoop
endyke said. "Here's anothe
varmint, and you mustn't lct hin
get away. When I saw scalp, vol
shove the net under him and brinl
| him aboard"
"Can you see him YETI" asked Mrs
Spoopendyke, waving the net ovel
her head and peering into the water
wait! Yes. there I've is! Careful
remember. Now, scalp!"
HI must have heen 4 crab of phe
nomenal scholastic advantages tC
have gotten rid of that swo p, fol
Mrs. Spoopendyke, with a view t,
redeeming herself, went for the end
Of the string blindly, but with q
strength of purpose tn It made failure
impossible. She not only got the
crab, but she jammed net, crab, and
all over Mr. Spoopendyke's head.
"What-wah-b!" shrieked that
gentleman, as he felt himself i'm
pounded.
Lost him again!" exclaimed Mrs.
Spoopendyk-, who hadn't the remnt-
est idea what q crab looked like.
"Why dear, what's that awful blg
spider in the net? Good graciou-!"
"Take it off" howled MI. Spoopen-
dyke. "Take it-wow! the thing
has got me by the ear! Haul him of,
will ye?" -
Mrs. Spoopendyke dropped the
handle of the net as 1t 1t were an old
fashioned bonnet, and gazed upon
her husband in CONSERVATION.
"Gast the crab!" yelled Mr.. Spoop-
endyke, tearing the net away. Let
%, We brute! Wa-ha!" and the un-
Fortunate man wrenched the fish from
his ear and dashed it In tie bottom
of the boat. whats your scheme
in doing that?" he demanded, hold
ing his ear with one fist and shaking
the other at his wife. Think you've
got to eat 'em right out of the water?
Got q notion that he came up cooked
and you've got to down him quick or
he'll spoil?" yelled MI. Spoopendyke,
enraged beyond all control by the
sight of the carnage that trickled
down his fingers. What dye mean
by i 2" and he sprang into the air
allghting on the unhappy crab, slip
ping up and sprawliny full length in
The bottom of the boat.
"Was that a crab, dear?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, assisting her bus
band to rise and contemplating the
.apgled fish with anything but
favor. rs that what you call a crab?
[ thought"
"You thought" ripped MI. Spoop-
endyke. kicking at the bewildered
crab: ''That's the trouble with you
you think Did you think l was
to stand here and let that crab
chew my ear till his legs ached?
P'aps We thought he rs whispering
me! Maybe you thought he was
me a funny story! Well, he
wasn't, and if he was bis voice was
10 boarse I couldn't enjoy 1t! We
thought, did yes" squealed Er.
3poopendyke, his wrath rising as the |
,ain and fear subsidized; Thought a
,rab talked with his toes, like some !
think, did he7 Oh, you
bought! If 1 had such a head as
7ours I'd fit it up with shuck beds
md a stick of GUN and start a female |
BOARDING school! With your ability
O think you only need q squint and
our long words to be. a Concord
chool of philosophy" and MI
;po0Lendyke plunged the oars into |
he water and began to row vigor-
'usiy'
"Where are YOU going. dear?'' said
drs. Sp0opendvke timIdly, after her
!usband had pulled hard tor some
ime.
Home" grinned Mr.. Spoopen-
yke, with a horrible expression of
Usage. I'm going home to show
he people how much damage a
idiot asylum can d, with
ne muddy crab when she pins her
IF down to It,"
Then, dear, hadn't you better
mite the rope and let the boat loose?
lgeested Mrs. apoopendyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke turned and gave
sharp look ut the bow. Then he
auled his hat down over his ears.
epped ashore, and struck out at =
risk walk.
II don't know" sighed Mrs.
ooopendyke, as she took her boat in
", II don't know, but l don't think
care much for Grabbing, though I'm |
Vt sure but what it's more fun than 4
home on the wrong side Of /
Q river with no bridge within T
ven miles either way"