The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-11-04
WIT AND HUNIOR.


Many young men from the country
are ruined in large cities. They fall
into the habit of wearing tight boots
and are crippled for life.
We are told. mo two after-dinner
coffee-cups should be the same" After
q set has been handled by the hired
girl any length of time they are not the
same, either.
A young theologian preached before
the assem- bled classes of q female col
lege. In his opening prayer he cried
out: 30 Lord. kindle flame of love in
our hearts, and, o Lord, water it--wa-
ter it. "-Life
1.-Two girls and merchant have dis
appeared from the town during the
past three months, and have not been
heard from since" says q dispatch
from Darlington, Ohio. If the trio went
together Utah should be searched.
"Mr. Jones'" said little Johnny to
that gentleman, who was making an af-
ternoon call, lean whisky talkp" mo,
my child; however can you ask such
question:" 80, nothing! only ma said
whisky was beginning to tell on you"
A Louisville man has turned out some
sort of an electrical invention by which
man can lie in bed and fish. There
is no demand for such contraption,
for every body knows that a man who
will fish can lie anywhere, -Nercham
TaUeier.
They now fill teeth with electricity.
A woman with tooth full of electrici-
ty and an eye full of fire will be
balmy object for man to meet on the
top landing when he comes home from
balancing his books at 2 a. m.-PittS-
burg Chronicle.
Ladies are informed by fashion
writer that it will be entirely proper
during the coming season for them to
stand up in the street cars, as pinbacks
will DO so tight in the Autumn dresses
that sitting down will be uncomforta-
BILE, as well as almost impossible.
Cleveland Leader.
Going out with your bride to select
your tableware, are you?' "Well,
young man, let me give you q hint.
Buy light cups and small plates. Many
man and wife have been seriously in
jured in dispute by big plates" And
old Mr.. Budger chuckled and rubbed
his head and the happy couple passed
on.
$50 you went to the circus, Maryp"
"Oh! yes, and enjoyed myself very
much" "Did you see the Kangaroo in
the menagerieP' 81 did, and felt sor-
ry for it. Poor thing, it is dying, isn't
itP" why, no. What put that into
you headP" "The way itacted. When
! saw it it seemed to be on its last
legs"
A tramp stopped at house on Main
street the other day and asked for
something to eat. (Which do you like
best" asked the hired girl, "steak or
chopp" The tramp hestated mo-
ment, and then replied, Chop" "Step
right this way" said the girl, "here's
the Ak and there's the wood pile."-
Beaver Fails Gazette.
"Molly, wish you would be better
little girl, said an Austin father to his
little daughter. "You have no idea
how sorry ] am that mamma has to
scold you all the time" Don't worry
about it, pa" was the reply of the lii.
tie angel; 81 am not one of those sensi-
tive children. Half the time | don't
hear what she says. '-TteaS Siflings
A lady living in Chelsea employs n
girl named Bridget to take care of her
youngest child, d two-year-old bow
named Freddy. Bridget took tho little
one up to bed the other evening. and
when she again appeared was asked by
her mistress II Freddy had conc TO
sleep. "Yis, num-" she replied. II
waited ill heard him sthill. ~ Boston
Globe.
Scene: A Texas barber shop. Barber
--"Nexl!' Customor--''l believe I'm
next" Other customcr-"I believe I'm
next" Customer Grabbing a razor)
I'm next" Other customer (grab-
bling zoD-"'m next" A short
bat noisy interval in which both custo.
mers arc killed. Barber Go quiet
stranger in the oorner) YOU'RE next,
sir"
During the recent unprecedented
rainy spell in Austin. Mrs. Jones sent
her servant TO u nelghbor, Mrs. Smith.
with the following message: would
You be kind enough TO send back that
umbrella you borrowed about n month
ago from Mrs. Jones'" Certainly,
here ~ Is. Tell Mrs. Jones that would