davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1884-01-01

TUESDAY, JAN. /, 1884.

grocery man. "Tbe detective in
this ward says he is shadowing lot
of you boys that are holding clan
destine meetings in barn, and he
thinks you are up to some deviltry.
You better look out or the detective
will have you boys all pulled"
"Don't you worry about u.s. SAID
the boy, as he gave the tramp
quarter to buy the next meal, and
told him not to mention it, when the
tramp began to thank him. "That
detective is too smart for his boots.
We have formed a society for play
ing Jokes on poor widows, this
winter. have got nine boys in our
neighborhood to join the society,
and we are going to make it hot for
widows, and don't you forget it.
The humane society man is going to
tell us when they take a load OF
wood to a poor widows house, and
us boys are going to sneak up to her
house, after dark armed to the teeth
with buck saws and saw bucks, and
axes, and before widow knows
what kind of gang we are, we are
going to saw up her wood and split
It, and carry it in. We made the
darndest mistake last night, on the
South side, though. We found a
load of wood next to a poor widows
house, and sawed it up, and carried
in. and after we had got it done, a
dutch cigar maker, next door, who
owned the wood, got mad about 1t
and made us pay four dollars for the
wood. 1t took all the money we
had, but it was fun, and the widow
never knew where the wood came
from. l had to sell my skates &c
raise my share, but there is no ice
anyway. l suppose that detective
thinks he will run on TO a kit OIL
burglars tools when he makes raid
on us in the barn, bat he will finc
us filing saws. Pa says us boys have
struck a lead now that makes hin
proud of us, and if we can't hno
wood enough to saw he will buy
some. If he does we will give it te
somebody that is poor. We are no
saving wood for people that are able
IN hive a PolaolseI tu saw H.
"Well, you take the cake" sale
the grocery man, as he cleaned "
the Single crumb that the tramp left
Gone spell 1 expected you would
bring up in state prison, and now
wouldn't be surprised any Sunday
to go to church and find you in thu
pulpit
ono, you needn't expect to fine
me in a pulpit said the boy, as hi
scratched a match on his pants tt
light the tramp's pipe. 81 shall
practice, and not preach"
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1884-01-01
THEY ELOPED.

A lively chase through the woods
gave spice to the elopement of Jessie
r. Rogers and Miss Rena Anderson,
of this country. The young couple
have been laboring under the dis
advantage of parental prohibition,
the lady's father having forbidden
Rogers young school teacher, Miss
Mules, who was to ride by the girls
house and invite Miss Rena to
drive, but this game was frustrated.
Meantime the young lady went out
into the flower-yard with Miss Mules,
and upon the latter returning alone,
it was found that Rogers had picked
up his prize and fed. The enraged
father at once mounted horse and
arted in hot pursuit. The happy
couple had reached point two miles
from town, and were congratulatlng
themselves on the success of their
plan, when loud whoop and the
sound of horses hoods from the rear
notified them that they were pursued.
In few seconds the irate fainter came
ito view. Rogers leaped from his
buggy and, followed by his intended
bride, disappeared in the woods.
Anderson followed in the direction
the fugitives had taken, but they bad
the start of him, and, after fruitless
search, he returned home. Mean
while the happy couple had secured
another horse and buggy, and repair
ing to the house of Jacob Living
ston, were married. All the parties
belong to well-to-do society.-S. r.
Chronicle.
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1884-01-01
"See here!" exclaimed the irate

"See here!" exclaimed the irate
agent to the dancing-master who
hired the hall, "are you going
to pay me any rent any time this
year," "Well," replied the ''Pro-
fessor," 81 haven't any money just
now, but I'm taking steps to raise
some" So saying, he did a little
can-can business that made the
agents hair stand on ends, and
calmly returned to the class, which
was scrambling and shutting about
the room in all the blank verse of
motion. There is nothing like know
ing just what you say when you
mean it,--Arqon0ut
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1884-01-01
Notice..

A WA of Palama having made an as
N signment this day to the under
signed for the benefit of his creditors,
all persons having any claim against
said firm, will please present them at our
office within sixty days from date here
of, or they will be forever barred; all
persons owing said AVA are requested
10 make immediate payment to the un-
dersigned.
LYMAN BROS.
Honolulu, Dec. 18th, 1898. 594 I'm
The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1884-01-01
10 Let,

hU HUI,
TIME ROOM recently occupied by
Il the Planters Labor & Supply Co,
over Messrs w G. Irwin & C>'s.
Apply 10 JOHN III. Patty,
$50 u b Trustee,
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
WHY She Was Loved.

1t is related of Nine. de Circourt, at
one time a reigning belle in Paris society
that her mother said to her: MY dear
child. you are too ugly for anyone ever
to fall in love with you" From this time
Nine. de Circourt began to be very kind
to the pauper children of the village, the
servants of the household, even the birds
that hoped about the garden walks.
She was always distressed if she hap
pened to be unable to render a service.
This good will toward everybody made
her the idol of the city. Though her
complexion was sallow, her gray eyes
small and sunken, yet she held in devo-
ton to her the greatest men of her time.
Her unfailing interest in others made
her, it is said, perfectly irresistible.
Paris Figaro.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

liar national characteristics or habits?"
"Oh. YES. that is one of the courtesles,
indeed, NAV say, ore of the necessities
which no wise host would omit"
"May l ask the peculiarities which
YOU have found most noticable?"
"When the French and German guests
of the Yorktown centennial were here
they occupied separate dining rooms,
and the difference between the two
countries was strongly marked. The
Frenchmen were more formal and re-
uuired much attention in the service Of
their food. They seldom called for more
than one dish at a time, while the Ger
mans dined en- familie and would call
for several courses and entrees at once.
The Maiagassy ENJOYS, from Madagas-
car, were the most peculiar people whom
/ have met. They eat no meat, except,
perhaps, little chicken or some similar
food. They were fond of fish and rice.
The latter they require every meal; at
breakfast, lunch, dinner and at midnight
they ask for rice. The Siamese embassy
who, YOU will recollect, were here last
summer, were much more civilized and
were fond of American and European
dishes. Still they were never without
curry and other oriental foods"
"How does your chef know how much
to cook? How can he calculate the num-
Der of people for whom to prepare the
dinner" was the inquiry.
each morning we make our estimate
from the number of guests in the house,
and guess at the probable number OF ar
rival. For instance, we send to the
kitchen and estimate sufficient for two
hundred people. On that amount we
could easily feed two hundred and
twenty five persons, and it rarely hap
pens that our calculation goes as far as
that out of the way?"
"Hew many employees have you who
are connected directly with culinary de-
partment"
"Well, including the store-keeper, the
steward, the head cook, the night cook,
and their various assistants, there are
about thirty men,"
"Do you have separate cook for your
servants"
"Oh, yes To a certain extent the
servants consume what is left from the
guests table, but that is not their princi-
pal source of supply"
"Do you do your own buying, or leave
it to the steward?"
Eyes, buy everything myself. Come
around some morning at 6 o'clock, and
I'll take you to market with me and
show you how it is DONE"
By :his time the Office was reached
again, and the hotel mans attention
having been called to business matter
he babe the reporter goodbye" and
the latter returned to his desk to write
down his recollections of how hotel is
managed. Washington Star.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
ROUGH BUT NOBLE.
How Western Man Found Relative by
q Courteous Act.

Sourtcous ACt'
"You will have to go into the forward
COACH" said the conductor, as he tore off a
coupon from second-class ticket, says the
Minnesota BaZOO.
But the tobacco smoke is so bad and l
have such headache" said the little wo.
man timidly, and the pale face was raised
pleadingly,
Cant help it, ma'am. Rules of the road
require passengers having second-class tick
cts to ride in the forward COACH" was the
uncOmpromising reply as he passed on.
Hang your rules y blurted out big man
with fierce mustache.
"Stay where you are, madam. You look
tired; here, let Inc turn this seat over so you
can lie down. Putyour head on this grip
Here's my overcOat; put it So" and he had
her nicely tucked away before she could
object. ,..o AM r.,, a..
to the same place, first-class unlimited. L
love to smoke. Always ride in the smoker,
anyhow" And he went forward. Dinner
was announced in the dining-car, and the
big man came bustling in and insisted on
her having dinner. She objected, evidently
thinking it improper to receive so much at
tention from a stranger. kate Adams"
read the big man, looking at the name on
her vallSe.
mot Dick Adams wife? You are? Well
by-l Why, come here. I'll kiss you,
my girl! Dicks my youngest brother.
going out to see him. Heard he'd got flat
broke and kind o. want to set him up
again."
And the big man looked so happy and
the little sister-in-law so pleased that the
passengers forgot to kill the 'straw" luna
tic that was taking vote of the passengers
on the presidential question for daily.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
A FUNNY FELLOWS FATE.
His Eighth Wife, Who Had Cold Feet,
Gave Him Away.

Close bv is the Church of st. Peter,
part of which was built by Rupert away
back yonder in the sixth century. Be-
fore Rupert's tomb holy oil burns day
and night the year round. At the cor
ner of the church is Peters cellar, where
drank some excellent lager beer at
the very table where Haydn used to sit
while composing his great oratorio of
"The Messiah" After this l was ready
for the old graveyard. Most OF the
vaults are cut in solid rock against the
high mountain side, and some of them
are the tombs of many generations.
There are two chapels here, one of them
built in 1927, the other some time in the
twelfth century. High above is the
chapel of st. Gertrude partly built into
solid rock and connected by almost per-
pendicular stone steps with a cave, the
hermitage offs Maximus. The tomb
stones and crosses of this cemetery are
very old and curious. In one place, close
by the main path, saw seven rusty iron
crosses, as tall as myself. They used to
Slducf Ill llllC, Dut tllC Nllid boo fAoy W
them rudely and long since tumbled
them out of plumb. These crosses mark
the graves of the wives of man who
murdered them, one after the other, by
tickling their feet. He was a much fun
nier man than Bret Harte, and | am
glad to be able to add that Nemesis over
took him in the person of the eighth wife.
She had cold feet; moreover she acct
dentally discovered his ''little game"
and forthwith denounced him to the
vigilance committee. People in those
days were punished according to local
arrangements. This particular Salzburg
wit was taken into a room up in the
Hohen-Salzburg, where, by mechanism,
he was raised to the ceiling and then al
lowed to fall, with weights of $50 pounds
attached to his ankles, down through a
trap door on to sharp spikes. Salzburg
Letter in San Francisco Chronicle.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
To AN ITALIAN RAGPICKER.

Child Of the sunny South how low
Thy lot in this strange Western land!
At early dawn see thee go
Thy rounds with bag and hook in hand.
Say, does thy ardent heart repine
When blasts of winter chill thee, ana
Thy thoughts fly back to where the vines
Bedeck the sloping Apeninesr
When Roman eagles DER the world
Triumphant ruled, and far and VIDE
Rome's naughty banners were unfurleo
To fiout the breeze in stately pride;
Nor bag nor hook thy sire bore then,
But shield on arm, and at his slde
The trusty sword that taught all men
A lesson ne'er forgot again.
Plebs? Eques? SENATOR What boots
To ask from which thy stock did GOMEZ
Who sprang from either of these roots
Could boast. "Civis Romanus sum-"
The sun has set upon their glory,
Forgotten in the busy hum
OF modern days; but yet their story
Comes to us down the ages hoary.
And when scan the glowing page
That tells the tale of noble men
OF Tully's genius, Scylla's rage,
OF Caesars glorious sword and pen.
Then turn me from that time away,
And see thee in thy squalid weeds,
feel tits true, as proverbs say,
Every dog has but his day.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
MUSCULAR BEAUTIES.
How They Look In Action In a Ladies'
Gymnasium.

How They Look In Action in a. Ladies'
Gymnasium.
"What are we coming to ?" asked a la
dy visitor at gymnasium uptown de-
voted to ladies.
The sight was indeed inspiriting.
Young ladies with bullying muscles were
performing feats of strength and agility
heretofore supposed to belong to the
province of man. Half dozen rowing
machines were in active use.
"Those are favorites," said a lady at
tendant. very probably the ladies us
ing them have just returned from the
seaside or lake shore, and are rowing
partly for association sake and and part
ly because this exercise is one of the
best to be had. If you notice you must
have seen how women have improved
at the oar"
At the horizontal bars were trembling,
twirling and swinging beauties, who
have also the skill to protect their beau
| w from street insult.
I'm fact" said the attendant, "women
are becoming more self reliant daily, and
/ am not sure this with SMILEY, but we
shall soon be able to transport the men,
Some of these ladies are married, and
you may be sure the broom is discarded
1t is no longer woman's weapon. Now
watch the girl vault"
"Mercy won't she fall and hurt her
self"
"Not much; she's used to that act
Now what do you think of our trapezt
performers"
Looking upward, whence foated sill
very laughter, were three fnely-kni
fairies-rather too heavy for fairies per
maps, but not very big for women. The
appeared as much at home up there as i
they stood on The floor, and their grace
| full actions would have done credit I,
Barnum's arena. This thought beinj
spoken to the attendants, he replied:
"Oh, yes; last winter we had with III
Mr.. Barnum's best lady trapeze perform
er, and she was as modest as she wa!
gifted. She was our only professional
all these are amateurs, and they are al
much at home in Delmonico's ballroom
as they are here?"
IL suppose you have not introduced
glove-fghts?" asked the visitor, with {
smile which said: What's an awful fool
ish question"
"Well, we have had no glove fights
but we have the necessary ingredients =
gloves, and ladies with the skill to us'
them. We open new class next Tues
day, and would be pleased to see you
here"
The caller went away with a vivit
picture of the womanly prize-tighters o.
the future before her eyes.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
Never SHES.

"Now this horse" said gentleman
who was about to purchase the animal
from an honest old farmer,i'is gentle, |
understand"
"Gentle as dog"
"Never runs away"
Never"
"Never sees anything in the road to
shy at?"
"Not thing"
swell, III take him."
When the gentleman went away, lead
inc the horse, some one remarked:
Amt that the horse you used to drive
to town."
"Same horse"
"Well. he used to shy at everything
he saw"
YES"
"Well, doesn't he now?"
Eyes, SHES at everything he sees, but
he don't see anything now. He's blind
in both eyes," Arkansaw Traveller.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
Is 1t Really Consumption?

Many a case supposed to be radical
lung disease is really one of liver COM
plant and indigestion, but, unless that
diseased liver can be restored to healthy
action, it will so clog the lungs with cor
rupting matter as to bring on their
speedy decay, and then indeed we have
consumption, which is scroiula OF the
lungs, in its worst form. Nothing can
be more happily calculated to nip the
DANGER in the bud than is Dr.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery" By drug
gists.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
From the CORPORAL.

From the Marine Barracks, Pensacola,
Florida, Corporal Ben. Barger writes of
the benefits of Browns Iron Bitters in
that malarious region. He says: II have
used several bottles and must say l am
greatly benefited by using it. Several of
my comrades used Browns lion Bitters
and you may rest assured they all think
it is the greatest thing on earth" This
kind of testimony comes from all quar-
tiers concerning Browns Iron Bitters,-
the best tonic.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
YOUNG MEN--KFAD THIS.

THE VOLTAIC BELT Co., Of MarshaI, Mfh..
offer 10 send their celebrated ELECTRO VOLTA
&c BELT AMI other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES on
trial tor thirty days, to men. young or old af-
fiicted with nervous debility, loss of vitality
and manhood, and ali kindred troubles. Also
for rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis, and
many otter diseases. Complete restoration
to health, vigor and manhood guaranteed.
No risk is incurred. as thirty day 8 trial is al
lowed. Write them o. once for illustrated
implicit free
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

"You're not dancing Miss Sweet; are
you engaged?" ooh, Mr.. Lyon, this is so
sudden but wait, I'll ask mamma" In
his hurry to get downstairs he sprained
his ankle, and is now awaiting suit for
breach of promise. Boston Post.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

Cancer of the lower bowel
sometimes results from neglected or bad
ly treated piles. By our improved meth
eds, without knife, caustic or salve, we
speedily and permanently cure the worst
pile tumors Pamphlets, references and
terms, two letter stamps. Worlds DIS
pensary Medical Association, 663 Main
Street, Buffalo, n. Y.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
Health m WeaIth-

1t is worth more than riches, for without it
riches cannot be enjoyed. How many people
are without health who might regain it by
using Kidney Wort. 1t acts upon the Liver,
Bowels and Kidneys, cleansing and stimula-
ting them to healthy action. 1t cures all dis
orders of these important organs, purif1es the
blood and promotes the general health. Sold
by all druggists. See advt.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

SAVE YOUR HARNESS by oiling with
Uncle Sans Harness on, which will make 1t
soft and pliable. This is the best oil ever made
for leather. Sold by all harness makers.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

fallen in love with girl dressed in a
bathing suit and afterwards married her
divorce has followed within two years.
Detroit Free Press.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

For Dysyepsia, Indigestion, Depression or
spirix and General Debility in their various
forms; also as a preventive against Fever and
Ague and other Intermittent Fevers, the "Ferro-
Phosphorated Elixir of Caiisaya," made by
Caswell, Hazard d Co., New York, and sold by all
Druggists is the best tonic; and for patients re-
covering from Fever or ether sickness, 1t has no
equal.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

PURIFY THE BLOOD with Eilert's Daylight
Liver Pills. They act directly on the Liver,
Stomach and Bowels, being mild and cleansing,
but never gripping or painful.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

RHEUMATSM,NEURAL ,SPRAINSa and
BRUISES are permanently relieved by Uncle
Sans Nerve and Bone Liniment. Sold by all
druggists.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
Less and Gain.
CHAPTER I.
II was taken sick a year ago
With billions fever"


s.Ny doctor pronounced me cured, but
I got sick sgain, with terrible pains in nv
back and sides, and i got so bad
Could not move
| shrunk
From 22S lbs. to 100 / had been doc
toring for MY liver, but 1t did me no good.
I did not expect to live more than three
months. / began to use Hop Bitters.
Directly my appetite returned, my pains left
me, my entire system seemed renewed as IL
by magic, and after using several bottles, |
am not only as sound As sovereign, hut
weigh more than | did before. To Hop
Bitters | owe my life IL. FITZPATRICK.
Dublin, June 6, 81.
CHAPTER III.
maiden Mass, Feb. !, 1880. Gentlemen
| suffered with attacks of sick headache"
Neuralgia, female trouble. for years in
| the most terrible and eXcruclatng manner.
No medicine or doctor could give Inc re-
lief or cure, unit! l used Hop Bnters.
1.-THE first bottle
Nearly cured met
The second made me as well and strong
rs when child,
Nv husband was an invalid for twenty
years with serious
| "Kidrey, liver and urinary compliant,
| Pronounced by BostOn's best physi-
clans
'Tncurabe ~
Seven bottles Of your Bitters cured him
| and know of the
"Lives Of eight persons
In my neighbOr that have been saved
by your bitters.
And many more are using them with great
| benefit.
| "Thev almost
| Do miracles ~ Mrs. +. ID. Slack
| How TO GET SICK.-Expose yourself day
and night; eat too much without exercise;
| work too hard without rest; doctor all the
| time: take all the vile nostrums advertised,
| and then you will want to know how to get
| well which s answered in three words-Take
| Hop Bitters.
sE-None genuine without a bunch Of green
| Hons on the white label. Shun all the vile,
poisonous stuff with Hop or Hops in their
| name.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

Browns Bronchial Troches for Coughs
and Colds: 1.-THE only article of the kind
ing better."-Rev H. r. Craig, Otisville, N. Y.
Sold only i'm boxes.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

Bulwer called his girl poodle in his
love letters. He had never owned a
good watch dog, and was of course ignO-
rant of their value. Detroit Free Press.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

A fair is to be held in Norfolk, Va, In
December for the relief of the soldiers and
sailors of the late Confederate States army
and navy who are in destitute circumstances.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

The cost of stopping train is said to be
from two to three shillings. When the train
is stopped by another train these prices be-
come somewhat inflated.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

A young girl at Montreal had two ribs
broken last week. thanks to tight lacing
and an enthusiastic lover. The young
man must have been veritable beau
constructor.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

Salvini has created sensation i'm Italy by
reviving an old French melodrama, in which
he plays magnifcently.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
Send Your Address On

postal card to w. j. Demorest, II E. 18th st.
mail, the best family magazine published.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29
"Dtamond DYES

~Diamond Dyes will Color Anything
any color and never fail. The easiest and
best way to economic. 10c. at all druggists.
Wells. Richardson & Co., Burlington, VT. Sam
pie Card, 2 colors, and book of directions for
cent stamp.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-29

Fruit and Garden Lands in Colorado.
In and 10 acre tracts. Low Price. Long
Terms to settlers or non-residents. Address
for particulars, W. e. PABOR, Fruita, Colo.