Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1884-03-19
COL. D.
Comes to the Front With q Red.
Hot Talk.
Promised an Office, Ne cIings to His Idols
No Reform in Ais-Jordan and
Joseph All Around the
Local Offices.

what is doing in local polilics?" de-
manded the managing editor Of the REeIs-
TER, yesterday afternoon, as the city editor
strolled in, two hours late.
Pretty lively guess, but don't know
much about H."
"How would il do to interview Col. d.?
He is ieaky Republican vessel and gener
ally knows thing or Two"
He would be 3 coed subject. But WHO
Is to bell the cat? NotI."
"Wby not?"
You remember the time | interviewed
him about the Lincoln club? Well, l ran
terrible gauntlet after that. Half the ring
bosses swore vengeance, and for a time 1t
was lightning on the street for REGISTER
man. Send the fighting man If you want
to interview Col. D."
At this moment the fighting editor wan
dered in and the managing editor muir
INJURED to him: go out and interview
Col. D. Find out whether it's true he has
Joined the Democratic party and also what
he knows about politics. In his Republi-
can days, when not in the Lincoln Club,
he could always be found swallowing
COCK tail or wrestling with Tom and Jerry
III the Mcclure House bar. IL he is about
To Join the Democracy you will be likely
10 ind bin taking a bath in Hollinger's
shaving emporium. At any rate find
him"
The fighting local at once started in
search Of the valiant Colonel and much to
his surprise found that ID" was holding
forth in his old headquarters at the Mcclure
House and had not made any change OF
E"Colonel, how is this, still here? l
thought you were coming over on the
LORDS side"
well, my dear boy, that is mistake.
For tune l did think OF joining the old
party OF Tom Jefferson but | have changed
my mind. Why
THERE'S MORE GOOD STEALING
in the Republican party in one week than
there is in the Democratic party in 1.-Two
years. would be fool to quit. Besides
Atkinson has promised me tirst-class dep
utyship, and you know the pickngs there
| will made an old Radicals mouth water.
| If Atkinson can get 5000 year in fees
| and Haggsrty 81, lOO what can an old hand
| like d. not do? No, no; this is no time
TO leave. Then | had my row with the
| club. Ny talk, you know, made the air
blue, and there were times when | thought
poor Old ID. had better say his prayers
All said about the Clue was
rcCratiC concern, and its motto is
No workiDgman ned apply Why re-
| Il en- Der the lime when 1t was common
amusement for the young kid gloves
irCurd that club TO elevate a working
\ mems coat tsils, and subject him, ere he
,anU, in the street, 10 an aesthetic and
| cultivated acquaintance with their boot
iu,s. bat these times have changed aud
Ill &c my interview they don't do things so
optply. They are very polite to" me also,
but know mat when l scratch Russian
am sure to catch q Tartar, and ] keep
| lookout. OF course the kid gloves, swal
low tails and stove pipe chaps are on top
now, but lust wait until the campaign
opens out and you will see thing or two
Again hear the Democrats are likely to
nominate Tllden, and, let me tell you,
young man, there's most too much reform
when Tilden is around to suit me. What
old-time Republican wants any reform in
| his?
DOES ATKINSON WANT ANY REFORM?
Why, no; the Boss gets So 0GO year as
things are ana in the hope that ings may
not change and he remain Vicar Of Braye,
is Yelling re assessment and Jake Jackson
at the top OF his lungs. Does Sterling want
any reform? You don't catch such an old
bird with Chati. He salts down s., 900 or
IS eco every year in the p o. ID. and bowls
for the people to keep the Bourbons out
Hugh IS q smart child and can't stand re-
form. 1t makes him sick to think OF such
| a thing. Old General Beach is growing
| rich in the custom house. Sandy Johnson
| has pulled vigorously at Government pap
| for ~ or 10 years and now lords the lean
| earth like an arcient Falstatf Do you
think Sandy would like reform otherwise
| thsn as an emetiC? Why mad dog would
| take to water quicker, sir. Surveyor Gill
christ and Fritz Miller want reform and
they want it bad, sir. Does Col. D. want
reform? Not much il the Boss keeps his
word about that deputyship. This year !
am for the old dag, an appropriation and
the Republican party.
But, sir, have no information to give
you as to our inside affairs. When | con.
templated a turn over my attention was
entirely devoted to study OF the
INNER WORKINGS OF THE LOCAL DEMOCRACY.
You see / was hunting for a soft spot,
nice berth with fat salary. You will see
some fun on your own side this summer
when you begin to divide the local offices,
and if Bill Handlan don't look out he will
| get left"
why, what's the matter with Handlan ?"
| Nothing the matter with him. He is
| good fellow and | want a chance to vote
for him whether our side has man or not.
Handlsn would like to be Sheriff. In fac
| its no new thing with him. Philo Kimber-
ly would prefer to be Sheriff, so would
Andy Sweeney and so would A. c Egerter,
but they can't all get it, and If Hsndlau
| only plays his cards right he has the
| Democratic nomination in his grasp and
| also the election. The trouble with
| Sweeney is that while he always works
hard for nomination, but as soon as he fails
| to get it his party activity and party work
| cease from that momenk-and for the bal
| ance of the campaign it seems to be m It
| ter OF indifference to him whether his party
| sticks in the mire or walks in silver slip
| pers This don help him at all with party
| workers for the next time. Another broth
| er's sin is his unfortunate omission to
vote for Hancock. From my vision this
| Was lovely, but Democratic optics do not
| take kindly 70 such oversight in Presi-
| Dental election. Kimberly is all right,
| but he is too late IN the start and would
not be able to catch up. As it now ap.
| pears,
| HANpLAN WILL GET YOUR NOMINATION
| slmost by common consent and if he keeps
clear of the breakers will go in with a
| whoop. You see William has been faith.
jul overy many things, has toiled long aud
YEARLY with very little reward, and the
Democrats are nearly unanimous that he
should go up higher"
We'll, what's the trouble with Hand.
Ian"
| Here it is. He is q genius in the pull
ing OF wires, and for old acquaintanCe's
AXE it s hard for him to keep his hands
from the wires. The temptation is great.
| There is no telling but what he may at any
| moment try to take hand in the make up
| OF the ticket, and if he does this, look out
| for war cries on the Potomac and two or
| three scalp dances on the Rialto.
| You Democrats are getting in tine tenn
/ per over
THE PROSECUTING ATToRNEYsHIP
| and you know that Jordan and Woods
| can't meet without some one goes to the
wall. Lou says by all the powers above he
will get there and Joe swears by the great
horn spoon and old Mother Hubbards big
| zoe that be won't be left, while the liquor
interest is torn up from the Roaring Gimlet
and B szing Stump in the North 10 the
southern limits Of Squire Schultzs ample