davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-03-27
Hawaiian Beauties.

The Hawaiian lady is voluptuous,
good humored, sweet tempered, tender
eyed, merrymaking creature of fasci-
mating form and most languishing,
longing, admiration seeking, yet de-
mure cast of countenance, with envi-
able advantages of physique in the way
of teeth, eyes, hair, form and complex
ion. She has the ability as well as her
sterner companion of discerning the
laughable side of subject and crack
ing joke thereat. European education
has greatly improved and instructed
the gentler sex of Hawaii, but it must
be confessed that so far it has sig
nally failed to curb the exuberance of
their spirits or tame the impetuositv
of their sentiment, or convert them into
strait-laced prigs, they whose natures
are as boisterous as the bounding bill
lows of their sea grit rocks.-Republic.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-03-27

E"TL% L..

What is complimentary voteP''
asked Gilhooly of Gus De Smith. Gus,
who had several times experienced the
JOY of receiving such testimonial of
the esteem in which he is held by his
fellow-citizens, cleared his throat, and
replied: ga complimentary vote is like
kissing a girl through a telephone; it is
the shadow without the substance. -
TEXAS Stf.iRQS.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-03-27

The fashionable ladies of London
now take their pet dogs to church. If
they had q society with a long name
over there these fashionable ladies
might speedily be brought to task.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-03-27

An Iowa man drank three quarts Of
cider in three minutes.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-03-27

The biggest barn in Kansas is the
property of Colonel d. r Anthony.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
HEALTH HINTS.

Coffee, without milk, is sometimes
good for chills and fever. Dyspeptics
should avoid it. In Spanish-American
countries it is taken strong before break
fast.
A good way to extract the juice of
beef for an invalid is to broil the beef on
a gridiron for a few minutes, and then
squeeze the juice from it with lemon
squeezer. Put little salt with it. This
may be given, as the sick one prefers,
cold or hot, or it may be frozen and given
in small Jumps
A writer in the Druggists Circular Of
fers the following remedy for earache,
which, he says, after repeated trials,
never fails to afford almost instant re-
lief: "Olive oil, one ounce; chloroform,
one drachm. Mix, and shake well to-
gether; then pour twenty-five or thirty
drops into the ear, and close it up with
piece of raw cotton to exclude the air
and retain the mixture
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
For the Secret Police

After one of the frequent changes OF
government in a certain South American
republic, the new president summoned
an artist, and ordered from him designs
for new styles of official uniforms. 80
WISH" he said, "showy costumes, very
snowy, for the people like to see them so.
| have here some designs that | myself
have made. Look them over, and adapt
your designs to these IDEAS The artist
looked over the album of sketches of,
fered for his inspection by the president
Very pretty, very pretty indeed he
commented. This is evidently for tho
navy, and this for the army. But, if you
please what is this for-this one com,
posed of great riding boots, yellow dress
coat turned up, and trimmed with pur'
pie, and great plume on the three-cor,
nered hat3" THAT is for the secret po'
lice" gravely replied the chief Of state.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
SnOw.ShOes in Colorado.

The Norwegian shoe, or skee runner i!
mostly used here, writes a Teller Col. cor.
respondent although a few prefer the
Canadian, or web shoe, for long Journey,
over CLASSY snow or when going up {,
steep mountain. Everyone here has &
pair of these ungainly shoes-men, wo'
men and children. A little fellow not
three years of age has dainty little pair
and can use them. too. When the bel
rings for school children can be seen il
every direction gliding over the glisten
ing snow on their way to school. 1t is g
favorite amusement with the young PEG,
pie to go coasting down hill Often two
will get on one pair of shoes, the gentle
man guides the little craft and away they
90, sometimes all right. but as often into
"A deep snowdrift which they do mo-
seem to mind, but, like little children,
climb the hill and try it over again.
Those working mines far up in the
mountains could not get along without
these useful shoes. They would be held
prisoners as securely by these walls anG
banks of snow as if in some prison cell,
incloscd with walls of stone. Those wht
have mastered the art of SHOWS hoeins
go very fast on them and find it much
easier to 90 over these mountains in the
winter than in the summer time. There
is a Norwegian here who is willing tc
wager that he can go fifty miles across
the country in day of ten hours, bw
that is much faster than the majority o.
skee runners can do. They will com.
across the great continental divide, going
far above timber line, and travel twenty,
five miles in a winters day.
1t is thrilling and picturesque scene
to see the sturdy miners returning from
their work. When at the top of high
mountain back of the town they give g
loud shout, and. with pole swinging in
the air, away they come like Lightning
over the CLASSY snow.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
A Serious Case.

\ violent ring at the door, al d the doc.
tor poked his head out of an upper win,
dow and demanded: "What's wanted?'
For PHYS sake, make haste,' came
back the answer. Its case of death
I'm Mr. Simpson, and you ale wanted al
the house immediately"
The doctor closed the window, and in
about fifteen minutes later sauntered
leisurely out of the front door and said:
"Ah, Simpson, your wife has another
fainting spell, SUPPOSE"
mo, no; worse than that. It's hel
little dog, her pet poodle. He's al
rolled up with cramps"
"What 2" shouted the now alarmed
physician, cher pet poodle sick? Thi,
is indeed serious. If she should die YOU
wife wouldn't live week"
And the two men dashed madly W
the street. -Philadelphia Call.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
One Egg for Ten People.

One ostrich egg for ten guests is the
pattern at the California ostrich farm.
Zone, two, three, four five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten, " said Dwight Whiting,
counting the guests he had invited to
spend the day at the ostrich farm with
him. " guess one egg will be enough"
and having given Inference to this ex-
preston, he wendell his way to the pad
dock, and soon brought to the house an
ostrich egg. The triumph of the feast
was the egg. For a whole hour it was
boiled, and though there was then some
misgiving as to its being cooked, the
shell was broken, for curiosity could no
longer be restrained, and three pound,
hard boiled egg laid upon the plate.
But aside from its size, there was nothing
peculiar about it. The white had the
blush tinge seen in duck eggs, and the
yolk was of the usual color. 1t tasted as
1t looked-like duck egg-and had no
flavor peculiar to itself. But it was i'm
mense! AS it takes twenty-eight hen
eggs to equal in weight the ostrich egg
which was cooked, it is evident that the
host knew what he was about in cooking
only one. There was enough and to
spare; and before leaving the table the
party unanimously agreed that ostrich
egg was good.-Anaheim (Cd.) Gozetts.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.

A Neapolitan gardener, after years of
experiment, has produced camelia with
delicate perfume.
There are several railroads, both in
this country and Europe, where, to pre-
vent slipping, a middle rail is used in
which are cogs which fit into cogs on
wheel of the locomotive.
The Verviers Industrial society offers
two prizes of 81, 200 and $340 for the
best and the second best discovery, in
vention or application contributing to
the progress or prosperity of the wooden
trade within the last five years.
Two Leipslc chemists have devised
process for obtaining sugar in a per-
manently liquid form. This result is
said to be effected by adding to a puri-
fed sugar solution a small quantity of
citric acid which combines with the
sugar and deprives it of its tendency to
crystalline.
Prof. A. Nantier has been trying the
effect of various manures upon potatoes.
beets and maize. Superphosphates and
precipitated phosphate were most effica-
cious in increasing the yield of potatoes.
Precipitated phosphate proved in every
respect more beneficial than the super
phosphate with beets. The best crops of
maize were raised from land treated with
the manure of the farm yard.
On the Zuider Zee interesting expert
ments were recently made with fog
horns of novel construction. They are
sounded by steam, and are worked after
the fashion of the Morse telegraphs with
long and short sounds. Two ships were
provided with the fog-horns; on each
there were telegraphists working the
horn, and the signals were distinctly
heard and understood even if the dis
lance between the ships was such that
they lost sight of each other.
The subsistence of land in the Cheshire
salt districts of England is again becom-
ing alarming The bed of the river
Weaver has widened out below North
wich, forming a lake of about two
miles square. Crater-like holes suddenly
appear, forming in day or two deep
ponds of saltish water. In one instance,
two years ago, the river flowed back
ward into the subsistence for two min
utes, filling up several old rock-salt
mines in the neighborhood; from these
the water is now pumped and used as
brine.
Krupp has taken out patent for fiat
headed projectile. This novel form has
been given to it with view of prevent
ing its glancing off on striking the armor-
plate of vessel at great angle of incli-
nation. The form has further been adop-
ted with the object of penetrating ships
armor below the water line, an operation
hitherto attended with but little success,
owing to the pointed head of the shot.
In order not to cause loss of velocity, a
point of wood or thin iron plate is at
tached which on striking is Immediately
shattered; but at the same time being
filled with oil, which is to "grease" the
projectile, is said to increase its power of
penetration. The invention is so ingen-
ious that practical test will be awaited
with interest. 1t must not be forgotten,
however, that flat-headed projectiles de-
signed with this express object are no
novelty
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

When water is as free as air, and good
soap can be bought for few pennies,
there is no excuse for any one to 90
dirty Yet l once heard young man
remark, one pleasant afternoon late in
the summer, that he must 90 in swim.
ming once more, or he should not get a
good wash again until spring. Now the
"good wash, which the young man i'm.
piled by his remark, is one which should
be taken at least once a week, and
oftener if possible; and wash to which
the reader may apply his own adjective
should be taken at least three times a
day. But lest there be some that arc
unable to define such an one, perhaps
something like the following will suffice :.
Bare the arms to the elbow, and give the
arms, wrists and hands thorough
washing, giving particular attention to
the joints of the wrists, the knuckles of
the fingers, and the finger nails Then
loosen the binding of the clothing about
the neck, and give the neck face and
ears similar cleaning, not forgetting the
teeth. This process repeated as many
times a day as is convenient, together
with the good wash, will, in conjunction
with those habits which such course
will be likely to form, promote good
health and may be the means of Undue
ing another to go and do likewise DR..
ID. ~ Patterson, in Good Cheer.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
Exercise as a Remedy for the Nervous.

DR.. Oswald writes in Popular Science
Monthly: "When | reflect on the immu-
nifty of Woodworking people from the
effects of wrong and feeding" says
DR.. Boerhaave, 81 cannot help thinking
that most of our fashionable diseases
might be cured mechanically instead Of
chemically, by climbing a bitterwood
tree, or chopping it down, if you like
rather than swallowing decoction of it'
disgusting leaves" For male patients,
gardening, in all its branches, is about as
fashionable as the said diseases, and no
liberal man would shrink from the ex-
pense of board fence, if it would in
duce his drug poisoned wife to try hei
hand at turf-spading, or at hoeing, or
even bit of whcelbarrow work. Lawn
tennis will not answer the occasion.
There is no need of going to ex-
tremes and exhausting the little re-
naming strength of the patient,
but without certain amount OF
fatigue the specific fails to operate, and
experience will show that labor with a
practical purpose gardening, boat-row-
ing, or amateur carpentering enables
people to beguile themselves into far
greater amount of hard work than the
drill-master of gymnasium could get
them to undergo. Beside the potentia.
energy that turns hardships into play
work, athletics have the further advan-
tage of a greater disease resisting ca
pacity. Their constitution does moi
yield to every trifing accident; theil
nerves can stand the wear and tear of or
binary excitemenls; a little change ir
the weather does not disturb their sleep
they can digest more than other people
Any kind of exercise that tends tc
strengthen-nOt a special set of muscles
but the muscular system in general-ha'
proportionatc influence on the genera
vigor of the nervous organism, and there
by on its pathological power of resist
ance.
For nervous children my first prescrip
ton would be-the open woods and {
merry playmate; for the chlorotic affec
tons of their elder comrades some di
vcrting, but withal fatiguing, form O.
manual labor. In the minds of too man,
parents there is vague notion tina
rough work brutalizes the character
The truth is, that it regulates its defects
it Gains the temper, it affords an outlet
to things that would otherwise ven
themselves in fretfulness and ugly pas
sions. Most school-teaehers know tina
city children are more fidgety, more If
ritable and mischievous than their vii
lage comrades; and the most placid fe
males of the genus homo are fount
among the well-fcd but hard working
housewives of German Pennsylvania.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
BACKWOODS COURTING.
How IL is Done by an Arkansas
Couple Coming TO the Point.

COupIe-COmlng 10 the Po1nts
He sat on the side of the room In
big white oak rocking chair. A long
cared deer-hound swapping at flies was at
his side; basket of sewing by hers.
Both rocked incessantly-thati is, the
young people-not the dog and basket.
Ee signs heavily, and looks out of the
west window at a Grape myrtle tree; she
signs slightly, and gazes out of the east
window at turnip patch. At last he
remarks:
"This is mighty good weather to pick
cotton"
"Tis that, if we only had any to
pick"
The rocking continues.
"What's your dogs name9"
"Cooney.n
Another sigh-brol1en Stiffness
"What is he good fur?'
"What is who good fur2" said he, alb
stractediy.
Z" Your dog Cooney."
"Fur ketchin' possums."
Silence of half an hour.
Gle looks like deer dog"
"Who looks like a deer dog"
"Cooney"
Gle is-but he's kinder beloved, and
gettin old an slow now. An he amt
no count on a cold trail"
In the quiet ten minutes that ensued
she took two stitches in her quilt; it was
gorgeous affair." that quilt was made by
the pattern called Crosse of Sharon"
She is very particular about the nomen-
clature of her quilt and frequently
walked fifteen miles to get a new pattern
with real purity name"
"Your ma raisin' many chickensm
"Forty odd"
Then more rocking, and somehow after
a while the big rocking chair and the
little rocking-chair were jammed side by
side. l don't know how it happened.
1t may have been caused by some pecul-
iarity in the floor, or by the natural
magnetic attraction one chair had for the
other; but, strange to say, the basket Of
work had followed the little chair, and
the little chair had Travelled as fast as the
big one. Cooney had not moved. He
lay IN the same place, sound asleep, and
he was talking in his sleep-that is, Civ
ing faint, irregular banks at the pos
sums he beheld in his dreams. After
awhile the conversation was resumed.
GLOW many has your ma gotl"
GLOW many whatF'
"Chickens."
"Nigh on to hundred"
By this time the chairs were so close
together that rocking was impossible.
1.-The mink has eat most of ours"
Then long silence reigns. At last he
observes:
''Makin quilts?"
eyes" she replies, frightening up,
'I've just finished Roarin' Eagul of
Brazeel, 'Sittin' Sum and Nations
Pride Have you ever saw the yellow
Rose on the PararyH"
No"
More silence, then he says:
'Do you like cabbage2"
81 do that"
Presently his hand is accidently placed
on hers. She does not know it at least
does not seem to be aware of it. Then,
after half-hour spent in signing cough.
ing and clearing of threats, he suddenly
says:
''Pve great mind to bite you"
"What huv you great mind to bite me
fur2'
''Kase you won't have me-
'Kase you amt axed me-"
'Well, now l ak you
''Then, now has you
The Coonev dreams he hears sound Of
kissing.
Then the next day the young man goes
to Tigerville after a marriage license.
Wednesday the following week. No cards.
-Conpay (Ark.) Leiger,
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

In the vast amount of business trans
acted at the Baltimore Md postoffice,
Mr., NJ. V. Bailey, superintendent of the
mails, is kept exceedingly busy, but some
how he finds spare hour or day to go
fishing, and from his experience he gives
his testimony that St. Jacob: Oil is the
best remedy in the world for rheumatism,
sprains, sore feet and joints, bruises, etc.
1t is the remedy for fishermen and gun
ners, who should always keep a bottle on
hand.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

Maine is becoming quite a manufactur,
ing State, She has twenty-six cotton
mills, with 1856, 1872 spindles, and requ;r
ing an investment of $12, 097, 400.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
FIuEIuK
.inu-PalminE

You are looking for March to break the
backbone of winter. Well you may; but
what about your own backbone? You
would be without a creak or pain, If you
kept perfectly dry and pure vegetable
bed between you and the weather.
1.-THE great merit of the Pino-Palmine filling for
beds, is its perfect dryness, elasticity of fiber aud
fragrant basams and resins. The medicinal proper
ties of pine and its basas clearly defined in the
u. :. Dispensatory, as valuable in catarrhal and pull
monary diseases, govt rheumatism sciatica, lumba
complaints Persons reclining for several hours day
on Pho Pamine, must be affected by the same"
PROF. CHAs. l.. AVERY, Boston.
NOTE I've have never made a claim
for PnO-Palmine that has not been proved
by hundreds, of disinterested witnesses.
NOTE 2.-Pino-Palmine is not specific
for all diseases. but is remedial in the class
ofdseases mentioned above by Prof Avery.
against a host of complaints.
NOTE 3.-How to get people away from
disease-burdened feathers and contaml-
mating hair was problem, till the discov-
cry of Pino-Palmine. Now you have more
than the comfort of the old-fashioned bed,
united with the-purity, fragrance and me-
dicnal virtues of the new.
NOTE I've have never known either
well person or an invalid to be disappointed
except agreeably with Pine Palmine bed
ding, after they gave it a full, fair trial.
NOTE 5.-Thinkers buy it. Economists
buy it, All buy it.
II there agent you, send orders. with length
and breadth of bed, to Agent Pino-Pamine Co., lis
Water street. Boston. Mass,
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

Some farmers adhere, even against the full
light of fact and discovery, t. the old fash
Toned folly of cooring butter with carrots,
annatto, and inferior substances, notwith
standing The splendid record made by the
improved Butter Color, prepared by Wells,
Richardson a. Co., Burlington, Vt At scores
Of the best agricultural fairs it has received
the highest award over all competitors.
Wouidst see bithe looks, fresh cheeks beguile,
Aye, wouldst see December smie'
Wou'dst see hosts of new roses blow!
Carbo!ine makes the hair to grow
On the baldest Of hends
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

For sore feet, swollen joints, spiains, corns
or bunions, use st. Patricks Salve.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

A New York concern makes money
letting sealskin sacaues.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

The short, hacking cough which leads to
consumption is cured by Piso's Cure.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22
Walnut Leuf Hair Restorer.

1t is entirely different from all others 1t
is as clear as water, and as its name indicates
is perfect Vegetable Hair Restorer. 1t will
Immediately free the head from all dandrutf,
restore gray hair to its natural Color and pro
duce new growth where it has fallen off. 1t
does not in any manner affect the health,
which sulphur, sugar of lead and nitrate OF
silver preparations have done. 1t will change
light or faded hair in few days to a beauti-
full glossy brown. Ask your druggist for it.
Each bottle is warranted. SMITH, KLINE &
CO, Wholesale Agents, Philadelphia. Pa,
and c. n. CRITTENTON, New York
MENsMAN's PERFORMED BEEF TONIC, the only
preparation of beef containing its entire nutri
ttOus properties. 1t contains blood making,
force generating and DEMONSTRATING properties
invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous
prostration, and all forms of general debility,
also, in all enfeebled conditions, whether the
result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, over
work or acute disease, particularly if resulting
from pulmonary complaints. SWELL Hazard Il
Co., Proprietors, New York Sold by druggists
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

DIR. Sanfo rds Liver lnvigorator-catbartic I;
tonic. WIN cure when other medicines fail.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-22

Easy to use. A certain cure Not expensive. Three
months treatment In one package. Good for Cold
In the Head Headache, Dizziness, Hay Fever, &C.
Fifty cents by all Druggists, or by mail
Z. T. HAZELTINE. Warren, Pa