Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-12-10
PIrH AND rolsr;
A NAp.skcK-a pillow.

"A NAPSSAck-U IuiAOW.
WELL backed up-the dromedary.
A SOUND investnent---buying tele-
phone stock.
"Wox by . bare scratch; ~ the hen
observed when she turned up the worm.
Why is defeated candidate like the
earth? Because he 10 Asttcned at the
polls
Ir 10 commehdable in q man 70 at
tempt TO reach old age, but highly i'm
proper for him TO try TO overreach Il.
"What n very marked bow you made
to the man who has Just passed u.s."
""Yes, he's my tailor" do you owe
him 50 mttch respect on that account p
'sNo, but ! Cwe him SO much money"
The grGsshcppeT hss. according to its
size. 100 times the kicking power Of an
average man. II must be exciting times
fof the younG gfssshoppers which 60
courting Snd md the old man at homs.
A NEGRO witness IA MscVa, Ga, tss-
tifyine In u bicycle ssss1 - ahia -
the result OF his observations; III y0u
ride slow you turn over yourself; il
you ride fast you turn over somebody
else"
EVERY fashionable gill now wears .
small lobster on her breast. 1t 10, per-
! haps, the better way to wear lobster,
though we have occasionally worn them
in our stomach with more or less salts.
faction to ourselves.-Er. as:
"YEs." said the Vermont deacon, Il
always go down to the camp-meeting,
and always come back feeling good.
| Do you see that magnificent horse there
in the field? Well. you ought to have
1 seen the old plug took down"
/ "WLL you have your oysters seal
loped?" asked the waiter A. an Austin
restaurant, of green customer. "Have
the oysters scalped? Has everything
in the restaurant got hair ON it? Why
don't you scalp the butter ?"- Te.rds
/ Sitings.
"THE fish bought from you yester-
day were not good" said a gentleman
to . negro dealer. "Whut wuz de mat.
ter wild 'em ?" 'They were half spoiled
But, sab, you mus recolieck dat / gin
yer double weight; darefor' de good hall
wuz yer moneys wuth. ."-Arhansam
Irareler.
ScENE-Table dhots at fashionable
hotel at Deeside; Big market day
Farmer Of the old school has dined
Waiter: Finished. sir?' Farmer
Fats the charger" Waiter: "Five
shillings, please" Farmer, startled
Five shillings? Weel, I'm nae deer
yet" Resumes operations. Battle.
Mrs. BLANK-"Is your barber mu
sician 2" Mr.. Blank OF that know
Of" Mrs. Blank Then why does b,
call himself professor il he is not ,
violinist or something" Mr. Blank
20, that is because he fiddles around (
customers face in q violent mannel
with viol razor. ."--Philadelphia Call
The first line OF . poem in an ex
change reads: II wish I were . swal
low" How much influence does b,
suppose one swallow" will have? I
will require At least three swallows
to buy one votel Poets haven't any po
litical sense, anyhow. They don
know how to use whisky at tho polls
Paris Beacon.
MAUD s." was plainly printed on tn
front gate and the young man observet
it as he greeted Ethelida, and they as
stunned their customary balances
What does it mean, dearest ?" he asked
Il don't know; pa put it there, Alfred.
1T means that's two minutes an,
eleven seconds gait by it's hinges. younl
man, and I'm putting on my boots, re
marked Ethelidas pa from an uppe
window, and Alfred Immediately at
tended to downtown engagement.
THE sUNsHINY BOT.
His hat IL battered. his shoes are torn,
. And his outgrown clothes are sadly worn:
But cheerily come his whistl ng song
Now fiear, now far. "a he t; udges along
Three times day In his work or play;
, And the very mefriest rOundelAy
Could n Ito me one half 40 we'll ~
The story Of his temper tell.
As dine each time hear
The CHEEKY whistler far and near,
And watch the eager happy face, n
Cncl0udod by sinful trace,
TIL from his heart, brimful Of Joy,
We c itch ray God bless that boy!
Elizabeth 4. D0irs.