Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-01-29
The Bad Boy on Business.


What! You don't tell me your father
has failed?' said the grocery man, as he
took down the ledger. ''Great heavens, he
owes me So and the man groaned
Yes, pa says that is the only way lie can
make dollar. | don't know anything
about the business of failing, but as near as
| can get at it, by hearing pa and his at
torney talk about it, there is money in it, if
it is worked right, and if was in your place
would work an annual failure department
into my business. The way to fail is to get
credit for all you can, and sell for cash, and
when you sell the best things, have some
body that you owe, q relative or a fellow that
yOu We got confidence in, get on his ear, and
ges out an attachment and close you up, or
else make an assignment to q fellow who
stands III with you, and let him offer the
creditors ten cents ON the dollar in notes
payable in six, twelve, and eighteen months
By the time six months are up, you can buy
the first note for fifty cents ON the dollar,
and you can fail again before the other note
comes due. Pa says there is more money
in it than in running bank, and he is aw-
full anxious to have the thing fixed up in
time for him and ma to go to Florida
for the winter, so they can get back in time
to go to Saratoga next Summer asked
pa il it was honest to fail when ma had
property enough in her name to pay all
debts and have plenty left, and pa said he
and ma was two different persons. |
thought man and his wife were one. Well,
fellow learns something every day, don't
he? Say You would be total failure on
general principles, and if | WAS in your
place l would have some style about Inc and
bust You can never amount to anything,
going along the way you do, and never get
ting ahead any. Let me tell pas lawyer
that can get him a job putting you through
bankruptcy on shares"
''No, sir, never" said the groceryman.-
81 have always paid hundred cents on the
dollar, and l always will. 1t is true / can
not put on much style, not as much as some
| know who have failed, but can look ev-
erybody in the face and-bnt say, Hennery,
you might tell your pas lawyer to come in
here this afternoon, and | will have g talk
with him.-PecE's Sun.
WHAT He HAD-One Sunday lad call
ed ABB aham called at the house of his aunt.
After pleasant visit he prepared to go
home, and as he kissed his aunt good bye
she gave him a package of sausage meat TO
give his mother. Placing the sausage in his
overcoat breast-pocket, he Stated, and az
he came to church he thought he would
go in and listen to the sermon. Slipping
into back seat, he remained quite STILL
The minister read his text: "And Abra-
ham had God in his BOSOM The boy did
not hear this, and was quite startled when
the preacher raised his voice and shouted:
Sand what did Abraham have in his bo-
Homa''
Thinking the minister meant him. Abe
put his hand on the sausage and muttered:
'Well, don't see how he knew it,
Again The minister raised his voice and
shouted:
''Aud what did Abraham have in his bo-
som ~
Abe squirmed in his seat, and for the
third time the minister raised his voice, look
ing directly at the unfortunate boy:
''And what did Abraham have in his b.
som ?''
Sinking his voice, he was about to ex-
plain, when he was interrupted by Abe,
who, rising to his feet, cast the sausage full
III the preachers face, yelling:
HE had sausage! There. take il p
The voice Of the preacher stopped, and,
his face covered by the sticky stuff, he sank
into his seat pale and gasping, utterly Nm
able to go on. The congregation thought
fully withdrew, fully convinced Of what
Abraham had In his bosom.