The Dawson journal., 1884-07-31
KIT WARREN MARIsIED
Kit Warren in Sumter Republican.

Kit Warren in Sumter Republican.
1 was married last night. Yes,
yes, my long delayed, oft appointed,
much desired and apparently hope
less marriage came off last night, in
the presence of large and apprecia-
tive assembly, and ignoring the
stereotype style of announcement, I
shall tell it my own way.
AT 20 minutes to s, l found my
self in a room adjacent to an elegant
ly furnished parlor; a groupe of
well-dressed men and bevy of white
robed ladies around me.
Mrsnda-bless her sweet soul
was rugged out in dead coolies of lace
and ribbons and trimmings and
bugles and pin-backs and pin-for-
wards and artificial roses aud a humid
red things I don't know the name of.
She was somewhat beyond the bloom
and heyday of girlhood, but her fad
ing beauty yet wore a sunset glow
and the charm of her presence, the
fuency of her speech and "the wor
shipped graces of her loneliness
possessed the same destinations as
when she first won the idolatry of
my trusting heart.
At precisely 8 we marched into
the parlor, Miranda leaning upon my
arm. She trembled perceptibly and
her face grew almost as white as the
tents son flames eternal camping
ground" WASN'T at all skittish, l
was glad of it.
The ceremony was long. The
preacher told us all about what
matrimony was and what it wasn't
what we must do and what we must
not do. He informed us substanti-
ally, that marriage was coeval with
the earliest horticulture from that
time to the present it had come
along down with sort of unbroken
apostolic succession; marriage was
mans lot, his destiny; there was no
come out i'll a man till he married
and the Bible, in the plaintive story
of Jonah, had shown us the duty of
coming out; marriage was a good
thing, splendid thing, a magnl6-
cent thing. After awhile he reach.
ed the catechism part of the ceremo-
ny and we answered the questions in
q manner that showed we had got
our lessons and the marriage was
completed.
Then came the congratulations,
and the cousins had to all come up
and kiss Miranda. Such set of
rough, rusty, bearded, bear-looking
monsters I never saw before. And
they all kissed Miranda square in
the mouth and instead of recoiling
from the dreadful ordeal, she, posi-
lively, seemed to like it.
First came cousin Jake. Jake
had on duck-legged yarn coat and
homespun shirt and his face didn't
look like it had touched water since
the Harrison freshet. Jake took a
sweet smack. Then came cousin
Gabe. Gabe's pants were 10 tight
one would have thought he had
been melted and poured IN them and
his hair seemed 10 stand in exactly
the same position it was left in when
swept through and tossed and tous
led by the last cyclone. Cousin Jake
made fol Miranda's mouth and
bumped the muzzle of bis face against
it. Well, they kept kissing her till
l thought they'd wear out her lips.
and one or two of them Rugged her
and I felt like calling for the police
or fainting or adjourning or request
inc the rascals to be ashamed of
themselves.
But I held in and at length had
the satisfaction of seeing the last of
the procession fetch lips with my
wife and retire. That was happy
mOment-happy only a moment; for,
before she could reach her seat,
Uncle Josh-iust landed from boo
ly-came bouncing in like ball,
sailed off his rs cents straw hat, dis
playcd a face on which wrinkles had
made corner and garments that not
only didn't ct, but were not lit to tit