The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-05-24

A team-ster-the whip.

tcWIil-htcT-tIle WHIP,
A kiss is often taken for granted.
Always forgive your enemies--espe-
cially those you can't lick.
Delegates not instructed may be
guided by the barrel.
Advice to tie Seventh Regiment
If you wish to bo good workmen, study
your CreedMoor.
The worst thing about handsome
woman is some other fellows arm
than your own.
What sort Of little girl will she be
after you are married awhile? A lit
tic conjugal, of course.
If would is pronounced wood" and
could pronounced "cood," why isn't
Gould pronounced good"
Barnum's sacred white elephant is
probablya female elephant. It's name
is "Toung Toloung,"
Some OF our baseball seem to have
been vaccinated. They can't catch
anything
A philosopher says "Woman is an
enigma" We don't know about the
enig, but she is often ma.
The man who always remembers
the poor is the fellow whose impecun-
ious relations wont let him forget them.
"This is fun" ironically yelled an
angry man who sat on tack. 1t was
more likely sat ire.
For the building season: When
does the carpenter most use his adze?
When he is making out his bill.
A fashion writer says "raised figur>
es produce an excellent effect" They
do, raised on the gallows.
A spring house is house with q
spring in it, and Spring bonnet
is usually worn above waterfall.
The latest form OF the Jersey is to
have ribs of silk, with lace between,
on the out side. Formerly, it was the
ribs on the inside that used to show.
In Siberia man can buy wife for
eight dogs, but in this country it is
dogs sometimes that prevent man
from getting wife.
Why women will kiss each other Ia
more than we can catch onto-there
isn't particle OF yum-yum in such
kisses,
Toilet Secrets for homcly Women"
is the title of late book. Bet you
there won't be many OF EN- called for
in this town.
4 tits rs hard for curious Postmas-
ter to pass a good hand Of postal cards
| without seeing them as it Is FER a gos-
tsip to ego by" without calling.
"Do you believe In eromation7" ark.
ed dude of Miss Dudine. Eyes, my
deah. Ice cremation" Poor dude
clapped his hand on his empty pocket
book and tainted.
"If men knew all that women think
they would be twenty times more au-
dacious," says an exchange. We don't
think they would, now--along about
house-cleaning time, anyway.
:, A question for puzzle-solvers In
waltzing with young lady not over
seventeen years, pretty, and one of the
never-get-dizzy sort, does the young
man 60 around the lady, or does the
lady go around the young man?
AJack Tar OF the name of Bill Blunt,
was once hauled into lady's pres
ence, at a sailors ball, to apologize for
an alleged insult. "Miss L., | un-
derstand have insulted your quoth
Bill. "You told me to go to Jericho"
"Well," said Bill, II have come at the
request of several persons to tell you
that you needn't 60"
COMING into court one day, Erskine
perceived the ankle of Mr. Balfour-
, who generally expressed himself in q
q very circumlocutory manner--tied up
, in silk handkerchief. "Why, what's
j the matter?" said he.
. II was taking romantic ramble in
q my brothers grounds, when, coming
to q gate, ! had to climb over it, by
1 which / came in contact with the first
| bar, and grazed the epidermis Of my
/ leg, which has caused slight extra
q vasation of blosd."
= "You may thank your lucky stars"
: replied Erskine, "that your brothers
!. gate wasnet as lofty as your style, or
o you must have broken your neck"
n Proof Positive.
: A small boy testified, in an Austin
Justices court, that the affray took