Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-02-28


AHARD WIND.-Old Peter H lived
in one-story wooden house OF not very eX,
tensive dimensions, and when supJected
to the force of one of those hurricanes so
numerous of late years at the west, it's pow
ers of resistance were insufficient to with
stand so great pressure, and it yielded the
point without struggle-however, it was
not upset, nor torn to pieces, but merely
moved a few rods. In the course OF the
Journey the stove was upset and the tlre split
out, and the danger of cont1agratlon was
imminent. Old Peter was too much excl,
ted to notice the removal of his house, and
seeing the necessity of Immediately apply
ing water to the burning embers on the
floor. he seized bucket and darted out be-
hind the house, when great was his astonish-
ment to find all the traces Of his we'll obllte-
rated. After lookingin blank astonishment
a moment, he called out to his wife:
sSarah, plI be blamed if the wind has not
blown the we'll clear out of the lot"
Tom CoRwIN's sREpLY.-Tom Corwin un-
dertook. when member of the Ohio Legis-
lature, to have law enacted abollshlng
whipping for crime. He spoke at some
length in support of his measure, and an ell
derly gentleman, who represented rural
district, answered as follows:
"Mr. Speaker, the gentleman is not as old
as | am, and has not seen as much or the
practical operation of the system OF punish
ment which he desires to abolish. When
I lived in Connecticut, if fellow stole a
horse or cut up other antics, we used TO tie
him up, and give him a real good thrashlng
and he always cleared right out, and we
never saw anything more of him. It's the
best way to get rid of the rOgues that ever
was tried, and without expense to the
State"
Corwin rose to reply:
"Mr. Sneaker, I have often been puzzled
to account for the vast immigration from
Connecticut to the west, but the gentleman
last up has explained it to my satisfaction"
p9~ Of course the following anecdote has
not the slightest reference to the judiciary
of our own noble land, but to the institu-
tions of Justice in Central Africa. A law
yer met the judge on the street, and failed
to pay him that Difference to which ne
thought himself entitled. "Young. man, l
fine you five dollars for contempt of court"
said the irate judge. "Why, judge, you are
The Judge drew himself up to his full height
and then replied: "Young man, this court
is always in session, and consequently al
ways an object of contempt"
Bar A clergyman in Durham, England,
some short time since, taught an old man in
his parish to read, and found him an apt pu-
pil. After his lessons were finished, he was
not able to call for some time, and when he
did, only found the wife at home. "HoW is
John ?" said he. "How does he get on with
his reading"
ooh, nicely, sir"
"Ah, suppose he'll read his Bible very
comfortably now?
''Bible, sir! Bless you, sir, he was out of
the Bible and into the newspaperslong ago"
@ Some remarkable answers are some
times given by children in response to ques-
tions put to them in school. AT school at
Wallsend, near Newcastle, the master asked
q class of boys the meaning OF the word
appetite :" and after brief pause, one
little boy said
81 know sir; when Pm eatin', Pm 'appy !;
and when Pm done, Pm tight'
Bag Why don't you wheel that barrow of
Goals, Ned?" said learned miner to one of
his sons "It is not g hard job; there is an
inclined plane to relieve you"
"Ah," replied Ned, who had more relish
for wit than work, "the plane may be in
clined, but hang me if am"
aSPOne of the boys in New Orleans
school was asked, after various definitions
lltu Uccu SlNSu ny OlilSlS3 iio"eiy ieAeS w.
rect, what was meant by the verb to tantal-
ize He replied: "It was to ask a great
many questions, and then criticise the an
SWers'
bag- An old Dutchman, who some years
ago was elected member of the Canada
Legislature, said, in his broken English
style:
''Ven 1 vent to de Lechislature, fought |
would find dem all Solomons dere, but l
soon found dere vas some pig fools as lvas."
@As the steamboat Oregon was passing,
a newly-arrived Irishman belonging to the
celebrated O'Regan family, was heard to
exclaim- -r-e-g-o-n-O'Regan oh, be
jabbers! only four four weeks in this coun-
try yet, and a steamboat christened after
men'
n9~ The hymn beginning, ..'rhe consecra,,
ted cross I'd bear," had just been sung, and
in the momentary quiet that followed, the
perplexed youth turned to his father: Say,
pa, where do they keep the consecrated
croSS.ayad hear o''