The Florida agriculturist., 1884-10-29
VARIETIES.

When little While l. first heard
the braying of a mule in the South he
was greatly frightened, but after thinking
a minute he smiled at his fear, saying
Mamma, Just hear that poor horse with
Journal.
Hi! where did you get them trow-
SSers?" ask an Irishman of man who
happened to he passing with a remarka-
Die short pair of trowers. 81 got them
where they grew" was the indigant
reply, "Then, by my conscience, said
Fat, you've pulled them year too
The remains OF an English traveller
had been eXhumed for interment in the
family vault. When the coffin was
opened the spectators started back in
alright. "Why, these appear to be the
remains of lion.' eyes," replied the
nephew of the diseased with sigh,
that's the lion that ate him up; uncle's
inside of himv'
"What name does your husband call
you by?' said bride to friend who
had been married several years. "Does
he call you ducky or lovey? My darling
calls me ducky." ''Does he? Mine
used to call me popsey-wopsey, but he
doesn't use that term now" "What
does he call you them" ''He calls me
SAY, there. -
A Little Rock man sold his cooking
stove to get money enough to take his
family to the circus. When one of his
friends demonstrated with him he said
"We had on use for the stove Had
nothing to cook.'
"But why didn't you buy something
to eat with the money you got tor the
stove?"
''Then we would have had nothing to
cook it on. Don't talk to me- Pm
philosopher. .''-AskanSaw Trareler.
A bevy of girls were looking at bridal
'trousseau.
"How exquisitep' Elbow lovely
GLOW supremely sweet" ETC., ad
nauseam, were the exclamations made.
''1ou ought to be EXTREMITY happy,
; Clara" said one of the girls to the bride
elect.
81 suppose I ought, said Clara, dis
contentedly, "but papa won't bring
newspaper reporter to look at them
Chorus-"What a shame p
Mother, what do they call it honey
moon fur right after they git married ?"
Don't know, son."
'Don't know? Why didn't you have
none when you got married ~
tDon't bother me Johnny Go and
bring me bucket of coal.'
ooh, yes; bucket of coal, I'll know
heap when git man if every time l
ask you question 1 have to bring a
bucket of coal fur an answer. III entuckg
StGte Journal
At dinner party the coachman had
come in to help wait at table Among
the guests was very deaf old lady
Coachman, in landing vegetables, comes
to the deaf party. "Peas, NUM-"
says Jehu. No answer. "Peas, mum ?'
(louder.) Still no answer from the deaf
party, but places her ear trumpet to her
ear, lifts it interrogatively to the man,
who, glancing down and seeing the tube
ejaculates "Well, it's a rum way of
taking them, but suppose she likes it.
Here goes' and down went the peas in
to the-trumpet
Col. Clockwell is very proud OF his
little son, and never loses an OPP
portunity to exhibit his precocity. Sew
eral nights ago they had company.
George, the bright youngster, entered
the room. Don't you see the ladies
and gentlemen, George ?' eyes.
"'Well, why don'tyou speak 2" "Cause
don't" ''You must not talk that way.
What have you learned at the Kinder
garten ?'' "Ain't learned nothin.' ooh,
yes, you have. Who is the President of
the United States ?'' "Arthur" ''That's
right" "Say," said the boy, looking up
with an air of sudden interest. 81
want you to get Inc bird "What do
1,o, want with a bird pv "Ride on II. ,,
''You can't ride on bird, son. You
are too heavy" 'No, amt, cause
mamma said you went out on lark. y
The examination was brought to pre-
cipitous close.-1rkansaw Trareler.