Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1884-07-09
THE OLD RAMS REVENGE.
Bill Matsons Necoiisotions OF tho Days
When lie Went a-stra >yberrying.

I'LL Mntsohs hecOliectiOns OF tho Daya
When lie Went n-strawberrying.
"Did you ever have healthy and
vigorous old ram push your coat tails
up against you kerchug! unexpected
ly when you wasn't looking?' inquired
Bill Matson, Of Bliffkins, in the little
back room at Schneider's grocery.
mo, Bill, never did; but I've gone
a-courtin' girl whose father wasn't
willin', and | heard something four or
five times before l got to the gate,
The sensation was pro'bly bout the
same"
"Was it, though" exclaimed Bill in
a high and incredulous tone Of voice.
"When you say that, you only show
how little you've travelled and how
little fun you've had in the world.
For a species of excitement and
thrilling sensations that you can't get
by fooling round mule or by buckin'
the tiger, to say nothing Of the novel
and startling situations, give me an
old ram that's got grudge against
somebody. I've been therew
SIS there astory in this, Bill?"
"a story? Yes, and a moral, too
"Let go of it,"
"Well, Blilf, I'll do it, though it's
pretty rough on Bill. Yer see, when
| was little barefoOted runt and used
to wear tow trousers, dad used to live
down on a hill farm in Pennsylyany,
and about all l had to do was to run
round gittin' stone-bruises on my
heels, and bein' stung by bumble-bces,
and givin' dad a chance to exercise
himself with beech CAD he always
hal handy-marm used to say that dad
walloped me 50 much that my trousers
used to wear out behind first. Mongst
other things used to raise Cain with
was lovage stalk that | used to blow
peas through. Ever been hit in the
eye with pea, Bliif?"
mo"
"Well, you don't want ter be. They
hurt like Sam Hill. l used to 60
round with lovage stalk under my
jacket and my pocket full of dry peas,
and shoot peas at everything. One day
as | was a-goin' by the buck paStur'
down in the medder | seed the old ram
grass and out come my low
age stalk. fired two or thee peas at
him, but he was too far off, 50 that |
hit him, so took off my hat,
held itup in front Of my face, wobbled
it around and yelled 'boo-woo-woon
The old ram looked up and seed me,
and started for the rail fence with
head down and full steam on. | was
all ready, and when he was bout three
feet away give him a pea plumb on
his nose. Golly. you oughter seed
him tear round and stamp, and smack
his head up agin the rails, and | all the
time poppin' peas at his nose. Bime-
by he got sick of it, and went off out
into the middle of the pastur, and
stood there stampin' his feet and look
in ugly; but couldn't get him up to
the fence 10 more.
"Long in June, as l was a-goin' by
The pastur' ] seed some strawbrys
through the fence, and | wanted 'em
50 bad that they made my mouth
water. The old ram was a-laying down
n the corner of the fence under a
Dut'nut tree, and looked as if he was
lsleep, so slipped over the fence
mighty still and went to film my
acket with strawbrys, and keepin' one
Eye on the old ram. lie didn't stir,
md purity soon | got so busy eatin'
hat | forgot all about him. Them
vas zig strawbrys, and l was a-stoop-
n down pickin' with both hands when
hit me from behind. |
guess it knocked me a rod, and when
struck my nose plowed hole in the
ground. OF course | knowed it was
he old ram, who was a-gettin' even
or the peas, and | scrambled up and
an for the fence, but | hadn't gone
en feet before he lifted me agin, and
hen he backed off bout half a rod
md everytime I'd move he'd smash
ne.
dad was a-hoein' corn on the side
ill, and he seed what was a-goin' on.
er see, dad didn't know nothin' bout
he peas, and it made him pow'ful mad
o see the old ram a-beltin' me, and
lown he come as tight as he could run.
The old ram was so busy a-talin' care
If me that the first thing that he knew,
lad had him by the horns.
"Blame yer!' sez dad, I'll larn yer
better than to be buttn' the breeches
,ffen my boy!' and he commenced
the old rams nose with his
ist Purity soon, jest as dad was a
trikin', the old ram bobbed his head
lown and dad hit him on the horns.