The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-12-13
A Journalists Discoyerys


He was not far from thirty five years
OF age his full-moon face shone out ra-
dainty from beneath a shock of warm
har; one eve pointed due west, It's
mate-lf two such diverse objects can
De regarded as mates north, northeast
by north; his clothes looked as if they
had escaped from secondhand store
the bell for his hat long previously had
been rung; he sat down or the ed re
OF the char to which the sporting editor
called his attention.; he threw his right
leg over his left knee, instantly reversed
the action, and then ev IDENTITY attempt
Ell 10 throw both over at the same time
Rolling his hat around by the brim, he
spoke:
Are you busy this morning?"
Yes, but | can write and talk. too.
at the same time. Fire awayr'
Perhaps L had better call again?''
NO, call now. What is ltp"
ado you want to hire an edtor?"
Editor of what"
''Of the paper.
what department, mean?"
ANY of them. 1t don't make any
difference to me-
Possibly it might to the paper By
the way, where do you hail from?'
"My home used TO be in Canada, but
I've been in Montana for the last three
years.
What doing?"
Cattle ranch
"Ah! one of those gentlemen who in
the somewhat inelegant but unmistak-
able language of the perra-rys is called
COW puncher?"
That's it, but it was on ny own
ranch; that is, l bought it, but didn't
pay for it,
al wish you had bought two OF three
OF them for me while you were about
it. Well, where's the ranch now?"
Gone"
''Iattlep"
''Gone.''
Money!
Zone. The fact is, l made fiat
failure of it, and am dead broke"
What did you do before you bought
the cattle ranch for nothing?'
kept store down in Canada"
How did you succeed as mer-
chant?'
Busted"
"And what before you commenced to
plod along the marts of trade?"
Farmer. When father died he left
me farm, but l couldn't make it pay,
and SO / sold it"
And having made failure in every
thing you have undertaken, you now
propose to knock out journalism. How
would my job suit you for starter?''
''First rate l always liked to 90 to
horse races"
Can you tell me when ard where
Kansas Chief made his best record,
what that record was, who drove him
and what other horses were in the race
and their drivers? what make of gun
Captain Borgardus used in his contests
with DR.. Carver, what sized shot and
how many drachms OF powder? how
many men Grasshopper Jim struck out
in the tifteen-inning game with ProVi-
dence last year, and how many hits
Paul Hines made? what kind of saws
does Courtney use in his boatso how
many miles did Noremac cover in the
Madison Square go-as- you-please in
1SSlpn
How should knowP'
''Then you won't do for sporting. If
the star at some of the theaters should
90 out fishing some afternoon and
drink SO much root beer as to be unable
to appear in the evening, what would
yon call it?'
Drunk
THAT closes the doors of the theaters
against you. Seriously ipdsposed' is
the proper caper under the c;rcum-
stances. | am inclined to the opinion
that your forte is sauntering about the
streets picking up items. Just try that
for a few DAYS. l want to see what
kind OF writer you are"
''Oh, I'm a good writer; best writer in
my class, the teacher used to saw"
Here is fetal of the cow-puncher s
first (and last) day S work as reporter
"A cool proceeding for hot morn
ing, while the guests at the Goodwin
House were eating breakfast this morn
ing, a fellow we'll dressed with one
arm came into the Office and after ban
tcring stranger to trade hats threw
down his old black cap and picked out
the best hat on the table and walked
off, the writer saw the transaction and
supposed it was a joke until the owner
of the stolen hat came out from break
fast and began looking for the missing
tile you wished me to write up some
artickle of news but having nothing to
report but n hat stolen, as YOU wanted
the true story in every case, it is very
hard to make news unless you have
some foundation to build on | could
make startling discoveries. and pen YOU
story of blood, or columns of town talk
but you do not want such. "-Detrolt
Free Press.