davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05
A Cowboy Gets Loose in Chicago.
Chicago Herald.

Chicago Herald.
A cowboy from the North Fork of the
River Platte got as far as the Union
Stock Yards; the other day on visit to
Chicago. AS things seemed rather
home-like in that quarter he tarried
there for several hours, imbibing freely
and talking with unrestrained hilarity.
Some of the natives gathered around
and took part in the conversation, and
after awhile, when the fighting began,
he declared, as he occasionally stopped
to get breath, that he hadn't had so
much fun since he left home. go,
that's elegant" he would say, as some
pork packer would bowl him one
against the side of the head. "That
was beauty. What do you think of
thatP Well, now, I'm glad to make
the acquaintance of you boys. You do
me good. Pile on me, why don't you?
Take that, you long-legged tenderfoot.
Come at me. Whoop! but that was a
good one. Who was the gentleman
that hit me under the ear? No shoot
ing irons, now. Just plain fun. There,
I've laid two of you out, guess. Come
on, some more of you. You amt get
ting winded, are you? Hit me once,
hard. There, that feels good. How
do you like that one, you mud masher?
I've good notion to hityou hard once.
This reminds me of a time I had last
winter on the Niobrara, when the
boys"
Just then policeman, who had been
advised of the riot, crept in at the back
door, and, coming up behind the cow
boy softly, he dealt him a blow on the
skull that sounded like a rifle shot.
The gentleman from the North Fork
dropped like log, and, after lying in
sensible for moment, got up, looked
around wildly, felt of his head and OBJ
served:
''That's the first time 1 was ever
tomahawked. Blessed if 1 knew you
had Injuns down here. How many was
killed? Where's the troops?'
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05
A Warming to Girls.
Boston Globe.

BOStCn uiOUe
A young man, arrested in New York
on charge OF having deserted girl
whom he had promised to marry,
gave as an excuse for the desertion
that he saw in her diary one day these
words: s'Escorted home from the
Methodist revival by the minister's
son, whose company was delightful"
This should be waning to young
girls who think they must Keep diaries
to preserve their alleged thoughts
from the corroding touch of time, and
faithfully chronicle all the small beer
of their daily experiences. Diaries,
except in the hands of people entirely
great or smart enough to fill them with
entertaining fictions, are denominations.
They are more dangerous than pre-
served love letters, and, if possible,
sillier. They always save for the graf
ification of idle curiosity the very
things that the writer would have lost
in oblivion, and it is an unquestioned
fact that no young lady ever can keep
a diary without "giving herself away"
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05
Timely Hints.
Detroit Free Press.

Brass ornaments may be cleaned by
washing with rock alum boiled in lye
in the proportion of an ounce to a pint.
To clean gold ornaments make a
lather of soap and water and wash the
articles; then lay them in dry pow
dered magnesia. When dry, rub them
with piece of flannel, or if embossed
use a brush.
Medicine stains may be removed from
silver spoons by rubbing them with
soft ashes and soap suds.
To prevent lamp from smoking
soak the wick in vinegar and dry it
well before using it.
When the stopper of glass decanter
and applied to the neck will cause the
glass TO expand and the stopper may be
removed.
To restore scorched linen take two
onions, peel and slice them and extract
the juice by pounding. Then cut up
half an ounce of white soap and two
ounces of fuller's earth; mix with them
the onion juice and half pint of vine
gar. Boil the mixture and spread it,
when cool, over the scorched part of
the linen, leaving it to dry thereon.
Afterwards wash off.
To clean Brussels carpets take fresh
beef gall, break it into clean pan,
pour one-half into clean bucket and
nearly fill it with lukewarm water; take
clean, coarse cloth, and having brush
ed the carpet well, rub it hard with the
cloth thoroughly wet with the gall
water; do a small piece at time,
have ready dry cloth and rub the car
pet dry.
Spirits of salt applied with piece of
cloth will take ink out of boards.
A teacup of lye in a pail of water
will improve the color of black goods.
To clean paint smear it over with
whiting mixed with warm water to the
consistency of paste. Rub the surface
to be cleaned briskly and wash off with
clean water.
Silver door bells are made to look
bright by cleaning them with weak
solution of ammonia and water.
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05

critic and subsequent to the refusal OF
his play-the poor child Of his maiden
fancy-pacing the floor of his room
with tragic strides, while his soul cried
out for a pen-only pen-that he
might, through the mighty press, lay
bare the foibles of actors and managers.
Finally, having secured the coveted
pen, he returns from the pay boiling
over with indignation. 'What!' he
cries, 'such rot as this put on the stage,
while my chaste and classic drama lies
dusty on the shelf! Can such twaddle
endure while the rhythmic flow of my
majestic lines waste their sweetness in
a musty drawer!' Ali" sighed the
actress, "pity the poor actors! Were
it not for the obstinate ones who have
minds of their own, and those who do
not read, the power of the press would
be absolute.
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05
DIR. Gross and Cremation.

NJ MALL
DR.. Cross, the celebrated surgeon
who directed that his body be burned
and its ashes be buried by the side of
his wife in Woodlands cemetery, Phila-
delphia, has evidently given a new i'm
pulse to the cause of cremation, espec-
tally in the Quaker City, where his ex-
ample is the subject of much CONVERSE
ton among all classes. The wealthy
people to whom DIR. Gross was so well
known, and by whom he was so highly
esteemed, are especially attentive to
the considerations which he urged in
favor of incarceration, and 1t is thought
that crematory will soon be erected in
Philadelphia, now that the managers
of the LeMoyne crematory have gwen
notice that its use will be confined to
residents of the county after August 1.
Our esteemed contemporary, the Post,
made the astonishing editorial assertion
last evening that: eff an Episcopalian
in this country, for instance, were to
leave directions that his body should be
burned, and the church refuse to intro
duce cremation as part of its funeral
services Gas we presume it would have
to do), it is difficult to see how, eth er
by mandamus or injunction, or in any
other way, the executors could get
Christian burial for their testator. :"
Rev. DR.. Currie, prominent Philadel-
phia minister, not only conducted the
funeral of DR.. Gross before the removal
of the body to the crematory, but also
read the Episcopal burial service at the
interment of the ashes. Like our con-
temporary's bugaboo, most of the OBJ
| jections to cremation vanish when put
to practical test, and if crematory
is erected just within or near the en-
trance to Woodlands cemetery, as now
proposed, many of the leading families
of Philadelphia will use it when death
removes any of their members. DR..
Gross and Gen. Gazzam have both been
cremated during the present month,
and the influence of their example is
unmistakable. The Mail and Express
does not advocate the substitution of
cremation for ordinary burial, but it
certainly favors the recognition of the
right of cremation for those who prefer
it, and believes that if New York crema-
tionists wish to erect crematory just
within or near the entrance of Wood
lands cemetery, they should be per-
mitted to do so.
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05
ALL SORTS.

Ladies' hats may be cheaper this
spring than last season, but we notice
that they come higher than ever
CNorristown Herald. a
Philadelphia is a great manufactur-
ing city, but the girls would be better
suited if it was q great city for man.
philadelphia Chronicle.
A poetess asks: "Where is my sailor
love tonight" If he is ashore the
probabilities are that he is 'half seas
over. - Norristown Herald.
'Ha'f a loaf is better than none," as
the fellow said as he was kicked out of
a bar-room at noon, where he usually
put in the day.-[Cincinratl Saturday
Night.
When Longfellow's Alpine maiden
said to young Mr.. Excelsior "Stop, oh,
ought to wear a corset?- Merchant
Traveller.
An exchange says that the famous
monkey of the Jardin des Plantes has
''joined the great majority of monkeys. :"
New York Graphic.
Jobbins didn't mean it for swearing
when he found, one night, that his
barn-door had disappeared, and re-
marked that it was ga door-gone
shame. ''-[ Yonkers Gazette.
Henry Dore, of Rochester, was kick
ed by horse Sunday and received a
broken leg. Now let somebody sing
'sNeyer take the horseshoe from the
Dore" to him. 1.-THE Ratchet.
A mule with five legs has been born
in Alabama. We shall look for large
falling off in the population of that
state within the next six or eight years.
Il Burlington Free Press.
A Pennsylvania man left his wife
because she always made him enter the
house by the back door. We naturally
infer that the cook was not particularly
good-looking. Il Burlington Free Press.
This is the season of the year when
the young man with the twenty-five
cent clicked stockings and low-cut
shoes sits cross-legged until the whole
lower half of his anatomy goes sound
asleep Philadelphia Call.
One of the drawbacks to the pleasure
of angling is that if you bring home a
string of which you are proud, some en-
vious son of Walton is liable to insinu-
ate that you caught post mortem trout.
II Lowell Courier.
One of the results of the panic is the
fact, cabled from London, that several
wealthy Americans abroad will be
obliged to return home Immediately.
And another that several at home will
want to go abroad Boston Post.
The qualification of whisky is a new
invention. If the spirit is taken in the
form of cakes hereafter, the term
''liquid damnation' will no longer ap-
ply; but the phrase "solid comfort
will, in the minds of some people, have
received a fresh Significance [Somer-
vile journal.
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05
WITH THE TIDE.

We rowed one day along the ripping river,
Fast quiet fields and meadows low and
green,
We watched the sunlight on the water
CULVER,
Till both were dazzled with Its golden
sheen.
we left the city's busy hum behind us,
And, where pale willows dropped on
either side,
We, smiling, said that care could never
End us,
While down the stream we aoated with
the tide.
ane little birds sang softly in the willows,
The fragrance of the lily foated up;
We rocked the boat and sent out tiny bill
u lows
To wake the fairies sleeping in its cup.
we tho't that life could never more be
dleary,
The summer sunshine smiled so warmly
down,
That we forgot how human hearts grow
weary
And die beneath the winters chilling
frown.
To-day once more l rowed along the river,
The same pale willows dropped on either
- side, Esa
The birds low music made my sad heart
CULVER,
As there alone floated with the tide.
-TChipa Tnfar. Ocaap
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05
He Didn't Deal in Dogs.
Omaha Republican,

OmaHa hepuDlcdn
A very amusing conversation took
place over the telephone Saturday and
illustrates how easily mistakes are made
with the stalking wire.' 1t appears
that some one had killed dog belong
ing to Cornield, the Sixteenth street
barber, and the carcass was not re-
moved as promptly as desired, so the
clerk of Whitehouse's drug store took
it upon himself to notify the police
authorities. The following is the con-
versation:
"Hello, central office!"
"Well."
"Give me the City Marshal"
GAN right, catch on.''
Say, there is fine, large, dead dog
lying up here on Sixteenth street, that
we would like you to call and get. You
may have it for the taking.''
"Vat does you dake us for, anyway.
We not deal in toy meat. Wy don't you
stuff him and gif him to de sercus. You
vas too schmart.''
After the wire had been kept hot for
some time with a running fusilade of
mixed English and German, it was dis
covered that the operator at the central
Office had misunderstood the drug
clerk, and connected him with the city
market instead of the city marshal.
The dog was removed all the same, but
he went to the fertilizer and not the
sausage mill.
McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-06-05

FOR SALE.-My range Of 1000 acres of
decided land In one body, including the
Black and Byfeld hay lands; timber and
water with two good farm houses and other
improvements. Convenient to No. school
privileges. Situated in the Republican val
lev west, Bed Willow creek. Call on or
address j. F. BLACK.
Indianola, Neb.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1884-03-30
TALK OF TIE To0DLsRs.

"lTury, mamma" said little child
with cut finger "it is leaking"
johnnie! l told you to get me warm
water. That lent warm, is it?"
sit doesn't lukewarm, ma, but 1t H."
-Ionkers Gazette.
\ little girl on Carleton street was
Ir,selted with doll by an older sister
The OTHER day. The child noticing u
UrUise or iudentation in the wax, SAID ::
II Less it was born in hurry"
When little Mary went on board a
teuy boat for the first time, as tue boat
b, gan to move she looked up very much
aslonished. "Why, mamma" she
asked, where are the ferry boats
te,t?'
Totor's mamma said to him: "My
ION, why did you open the door OF your
little bird cage?" Totor hesitsted an
instant and then replied: Mamma, |
want TO give him more alr"-Chicago
SIN.
Two children in the Tuileries garden
were extOlling the qualities OF their re-
sp'ctive papas.
mime is as tall as the garden wall"
said one.
"My papa can see over the wall"
"AId mine, too, when he has bis
hat on w-Parisian Pickings.
Sunday School Teacher-What has
cur lesson tonight taught US:
Little Boy-That We must shun evil.
Teacher-But We are told that money
IS the root Of all evil. Now what
further does the Lesson teach?
Little BOy-That We must shuu the
evil ard grab the roOt.-Pitts5ursh
CEroniclc-Telegraph.
\ little French boy awakened his
mother early the other morning to ask
her what God is, and whether he had
ewes, a nose and mouth.
My child" replied the mother, half
asleep, God is everything, the heavens,
tie infinite-everylhing you can't
understand"
Then" said the child, GOOD must
I've an American, for there are some
liIt!e American boys at school and |
can't understand them at all?''-French
Fun.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1884-03-30

ferry was therefore useless. "But will
show you the DRIFT" 1.-THE foril, SAID ne,
ait IL only two miles down the river"
So the colt was saduled sud Fiorcy
mounted on Pearl again aud they
walked their horses along.
Hugh was glsd the ferry was broken;
be could not even hear TO look towards
IL, and thinking over that wretchsd
mornings work, when Alan had fsced
him, pistol In hand, be hardy gave
thought to FlOrry. Her voice startled
him.
"Hugh," she said, very quietly, "if
you are not sorry for having forgiven
me kiss me once before We go into the
river"
Joe had bounded on ahead, the horses
were side by side and Hugh leaut over
and, putting his arm around his wife's
waist, kissed her.
"RealIy forgiven - she said to her
self, yet aloud, without an effort az re-
turning the kiss. Hugh, you have
made me happier this minute than
even when you asked me to marry you.
And God knows" said Florry, ia q
voice in which she had never spoken
before in all her life, show good you
are, Hugh, and have always been 10
me and"
"Here, Inkosw shouted Joe, with his
arms working like semaphores, and the
horses picked up their ears and quick
ened their pace. They were soon at
the drift. keep this side OF all that
wood and stuff, Inkos," said Joe.
"Tbere is Only three feet OF water at the
deepest and good bottom"
"All right" said Hugh, and the
horses stepped into the river.
And Joe stood watching them-and
all of q sudden he saw the colt shy.
Hugh brought its head round, and then
Joe saw him staring into the water as II
he bad seen a ghost. And then Fiorry
came I'D to her husband aud Joe heard
her give Q scream and saw her fall as II
shot from her saddle. :,
Pearl plunged, lost Its footing and
fell. For q second both horse and
rider was under water and then the
horse got up. Hugh had dismounted
and seized PEARLS bride, but the terri
fed horse was kicking frantically.
And Florry? Her skirt, IN falling,
had caught In the saddle, and when
Hugh raised her head above the water
tie cruel hoof had already struck the
sweet fair head-and Florry was dying.
Joe came floundering across the river
to give his help, and while Hugh raised
his wife in his arms the Kstir held the
horses and then they turned to 60 on.
And all OF a sudden Joe's eye caught
sight of that which he had not yet seen.
In the midst Of the or fL-wood was
mans corpse entangled. And the face
was above water. The eyes were wide
open and in the centre Of the pale fore
head was a round black mark. Joe
yelled and fed, still clutching the
horses, and Hugh strobe after him
through the tide carrying his dead
| wife.
Up the bank and into the thorn bush,
and there they laid her, all dripping,
Oh PEARLS back and led the horse, with
Its burden. to the farm. That night she
was buried in a grove OF young trees
hat Hugh had himself planted. And
,hrte days afterwards, his farm and
.tock sold, Hugh was on his way down
10 the sea. Soon after reaching Eng-
aid he Joined a mission to West
Africa and it was some ten year after,
Hher coming home invalided dying,
fsct-tbat he told me this story OF
be Tragedy on the MOOT.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1884-03-30
CUR SANITARIuM.
KoW 20 Avoid Taking t0ld-Needless
Alarm About the Heart.


It weakens many persons to battle
often, and it may, therefore, be OF
service for them to know that a bath
once q week is all that Is necessary for
health. To weak persons a sponge
bath is at all times more heSlthful than
any other. Warm water and plenty Of
pure soap should be used. If the body
Is rubbed vigorously every morning
with coarse towel the benefit to the
kin and system will be great.
The worst cold may be cured in
forty eight hours, il, within twenty-four
hours after it is taken, the patient takes
a warm bath, goes to bed and eats little
or nothing until the forty eight hours
are past.
Children should not be allowed to
drink milk bought in the stores AMI
rom regular dealers unless it is boiled,
10 destroy any germs OF disease that
may be In it, whether they be derived
rom the cow or foreign germs intro
iuced by the contact OF the milk with
impure sir or impure hands or vessels.
Condensed milk is tree from contagion.
\ prominent physician says:
"PieCes of cotton batting dipped in
Iot water and kept applied to old sores
nr new cuts, bruises or sprains, Is the
treatment now generally adopted in
hospitals. have seen a sprainad ankle
cured in an hour by showering it with
hot water, poured from height Of
three feet"
1t is said that more women than
men recover from insanity when con-
fined in insane aSyluma, firstly, because
they have rest, and, secondly, they are
more accustomed to indoor life.
In gOiEg out into the cold air the
mouth should be kept tightly closed
lid brisk gait kept up for few mo.
m.nts, thus preventing sore throat,
'Lilliness and cold in the head.
Heavy winter flsnnels ST ould not be
Jut of until the first part of April, aud
not then unless the weather Is mild.
Shtn removed q piece Offiauuel should
Ie worn between the shoulder blateS
lehind, as that part OF the body re-
iTires the most protection, IA the lungs
are in t. ut portion and the b.ooi Is
isilv chilled.
A learned doctor speaking on heart
uou6les says: Persons often trouble
themselves useleSSiy about having
disease of the heart or lungs, because
hey have pain Whereabouts. These are
good signs, generally, as showing that
The pains are external to these organs,
'or there can be no pain where there
are no nerves. The fact is, the most
certainly fatal affections ofthese organs
give no note OF warning by pain until
within the last brief hours Of life.
THE great Harvey brought Charles
II. to British nobleman who had all
opening in his chest through which his
heart could be seen and felt. The king
touched it with his finger but the noble
man was not aware Of 1t, unless When
lac saw tire fingers in the cavity. And
vet, this same heart responds TO every
emotion Of joy, or grief, or passion, or
alarm
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1884-03-30
PEACE THROUGH WAR.
EICtdy Record of GIadstone's Peace
Loving GOVernm ent.

London GLol-c.
Mas Sacre at Maiwand, consequent
UPON the order to prevent Ayoob hhtn
,IUm slipping past and attacking the
Ameer. General Burrows force prac.
ucally annihilated.
War with Ayoob Khan, consequent
upon the above massacre. Grand
laughter of bis troops by General Rob.
eIts.
Massacre of the ninety fourth regi.
Il ent by Beers.
War consequent upon this massacre,
resulting in the submission Of the Eng.
II, h after three defeats.
Massacre of loyal Bechuanas by Beers,
consequent upon that war.
Massacre OF friendly Ksffirs by Beers,
consequent upon that war.
luternecine warfare and universal
massacres in XuIulaud, consequent
VI on tine restoration of Cetewayo. Still
going on.
Massacre of aliens at Alexandria, con
sequent upon our interference with
Arab.
War sgainst Arab. Bom5ardment
of Alexandria.
Second Massacre at Alexandra, con-
stquent upon homhardment.
Massacre of Palmer, Gill aud Char.
lingtOn.
Massacre Of Hicks Pasha'J army.
Massacre Of Consul Moncriefs expe.
ton.
Massacre Of lsmail Pssha's column.
Massacre Of Baker Pasha's force.
Massacre OF Sinkat garrison and 900
women and children.
War against the Mahdi.
Recspitulation-FOur years of"peace
policy" -Four wars and thirteen mas
acres, counting those IN Zululand as
only ole.