davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

A flashily dressed Young man, carry
ing a valse, entered a down town store
Yesterday afternoon. The merchant
behind the cOunte-. who was attending
to a customer smiled in business like
manner upon the new conner. and the
latter. evidently encouraged by tn 5
greeting, asked:
MAY leave this valise here until
call for il?
"Certainly. sir" politely responded
the tradcsman. put it right down be-
hind this desk"
The young man left and was soon
followed by the solitary customer. who
had comp etcd his purchase. The
merchant. left alone, had nothing bet
ter to do than to mediate. He leaned
his head upon his hand and gszed alb
stractellv into the street. Suddenly he
Jumped from his seat and muttered to
himself: What the deuce is that"
The exclamation was caused at hear
ing the sound of q peculiar noise near
the spot where the stranger had placed
his yaise.
"Wonder what it is" muttered the
man, and approaching nearer he placed
his ear upon it and listened. Sounds
like the gnawng of a rat" he con-
cluded.
Just then an acquaintance entered.
and he was asked to investigate the
noise. He declined. however. saving
that he was not an expert in sounds. A
second arrival suggested that the thing
might 90 OIL and shook his heal sig
niiicantly. A third man was called
upon, and he gave it out that the NOR
chant might be the intended victim of a
revengc!ul enemy, and that the OBJ ;ect
in the bag might be an Internal
machine loaded with dynamite. Two
of the party smiled incredulously. The
third said soemnly that this WIS no
time for merriment, and in this express
sion was shared the merchants opn-
ion. who. now thoroughly alarmed,
asked what was to be done.
''Or the thing" advised the first.
''Soal It in water" hastily added the
second.
"No, do not take any risk" re-
marked the thoughtful third man. "lf
it were me, would place the whole
business on the sidewalk"
IL 90 III, replica Ine Storekeeper,
and he boldly laid hold with nervous
grasp. and put the strangers valise en-
the pavement.
There il was watched by the quar-
tette of brave men until the arrival of
the owner. When he saw his property
thus exposed. where any careless per-
son might have taken it, he wondered
wha, it all meant.
I 1.-The Their Their there is something in
it," stammered the merchant in ex-
PLANTATION.
"Why. of course. there is. Do you
think | woald travel all the way from
New York without bringing change
of clothing?'
"No; something else. It's alive.
There is some machine in it that's
wound up"
80, now | see." WAS the reply.
"It's my little travelling clock that
wound ZIP last night, and it hasn't run
down yet.
The merchant walked away abruptly
and his companions sneaked Off in
different directions. The solemn third
man was seen to kick himself over the
moon at late hour last nj yht. -Lou.S-
riiie Commercial.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

DIR. Robert Newton, late President of the
Eclectic College, Of the city of New York. and
formerly of Cincinnati. Ohio. used DIR. VIM.
HALLS BALSAM very extensively in his prac-
tice, as many Of his patients now living. and re-
stored to health by the use of this invaluable
medicine. can amply testify. He always said
that SO good a remedy ought not to be consid-
cred merely as a patent medicine. but that it
ought to be prescribed freely by every physician
as a sovereign remedy in all cases Of Lung dis
eases. 1t cures Consumption. and all pectoral
complaints.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
"a LITTLE NnNNENNE.v

Molly (regarding bust on pedes-
tai: "Oh! what dear little boy!"
Grandpa; THAT was me when was
your age. Molly" "And who is it now,
Grandpa pr Golden Days.
When Fogg came into the room I'M
expcctcdly Mrs. +. gave scream and
exclaimed: "You frightened me half TO
DEATH" "Did lr' was the un'eeling
reply; suppose try it over again'"-
o Ion Transcript.
IL never saw such q woman in all
my lifc." said Bass, ..you are never
satisfied with anything" People who
knew the man / took for husband, !"
replied Mrs. B., "think, on the con-
trary. that am very easily satisfied. y
Boston Transcript.
why. Allie. dear, is that the way
10 begin your dinner?" asked a mother
Of her little daughter, as she began with
the pie instead Of the bread and butter.
"Wcll. ! declare, mamma, l was going
10 cat my dinner upside down, wasn't
Ir- Wilmington Star.
What do you think of my mus
tachep' asked a young man of his girl.
''Oh. II reminds me Of . Western from
tier city was the answer. 'In what
respect. prayg" because the survey
ID large enough. but the settlers are
struggling. ~. y Graphic.
-"Ihavcn't had . bite for two days."
pleaded n tramp. us it possiblep" an
swercd the woman with sympathy.
"lll zee what l can do for you in the
way Of bite. Here, Tige-Tige-"
The tramp broke a two-dollar gate get
ting away.-CAicogo Inter Ocean.
Waiter" called boarder at an
Indianapolis restaurant, "dO you call
this raisin cakep" mo, dat hain't
raisin cake" Then what do you call
these thingsp" asked the gentleman
pointing ut his cake. "Gof durn it."
exclaimed the surprised waiter, ''dem's
flies. SCISSORS.
Little Elsie had novel experience
the other day. 1t was the first time she
had ever played with kitten, and she
was highly delighted with the animated
toy. Suddenly the kitten scratched the
little soft hand. For a moment Elsie's
establishment was too great for words;
then In . tone Of mingled indignation
and surprise, she exclaimed: why,
mamma. pussy's dot pins in her feet!"
-Erchrnge.
AR the people in Providence so
very. very poor?" asked little girl of
her father. IL suppose they are no
poorer than the rest Of mankind" said
the old gentleman. "What prompts
that question. my child?" "Welt,"
said the little girl, 81 just heard it this
morning at Sunday school that every
body trusts in Providence" go way"
said the old gent, ''you make me
tired. - IroriicRce journal.
speaking Of politics brings to mind
an old Tuckermuck farmer who used to
bring his truck to town for market.
One day. going into a store where quite
n crowd had met. in the heat of Presi-
dental campaign. he inquired what the
discussion was oil about For the mo-
mcnt there was lull, while one of the
number answered: well, Uncle
Eben. we're talking politics. Poll
tics-poiitics." replied the old man.
Let me see. Yes, yes. gentlemen; l
b'lieve I've seen 'em in Tuckermuck
They're . lectle size bigger'n sheep
tick" The crowd Immediately dis.
pcrsed. - Boston Timea
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

When Napsleon talked of invading Italy
one of his officers said: "But, sire, remem-
Der the Alps" To an ordinary man these
would have seemed simply insurmounta-
bic, but Napoleon responded eagerly:
There shall be no Alps" So the famous
Simplon pass was made. Disease, like a
mountain, stands in the way Of fame,
fortune and honor to many who by DR..
Pierces Golden Medical Discovery"
might be healed and SO the mountain
would disappear. 1t is specific for all
blood, chronic lung and liver diseases.
such as consumption (which is scrofula of
the lungs), pimples, blotches, eruptions.
tumors, swellings, fever-sores and kindred
complaints.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

fBFARMERS. WHEN YOU VISIT SAN
Francisco remember that the American En-
change Hotel continues to be the farmers head
quarters; under the experienced management
Of Charles Montgomery. the travelling public
are assured of fair. honorable treatment; board
and room per day, 81 81. Is and Sl5O; nice single
rooms 80 cents per night; this hotel stands at
the head of the list for responsibility. and con-
sequently is doing an extensive family business;
1t is strictly temperance hotel having no con-
nection directly or indirectly with a saloon that
Is next door in the same building; Montgomery s
temperance hotel ever started in San Francisco
IA years ago. and has the largest number of
steady patrons Of any hotel in the State; board
and room, 81 to IS per week. or IS cents to 81 per
you visit the city don't forget to try either the
American Exchange or Montgomerys Hotel;
both hotels have free coaches to and from all
steamers and trains.
CHARLES MONTGOMERY. Proprietor.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
THE BIG BREWERY.

Mr.. J. Hirsch, College Point Brewery,
L. l., N. Y, writes that he EMPLOYS a large
number Of horses and hands, and having
tried st. Jacobs Oil, the great pain.cure,
for rhematism, aches and pains of his
finds it superior to all remedies. and
would not be without it.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

DIR. EvORY-Dear Sir: know the OLA
MOND CATARRH REMEDY to be a very
valuable Remedy, if not infallible, have
suffered good deal with Catarrh, tried
many remedies, but found nothing that
will compare with YOUR Diamond Catarrh
Remedy. Yours very truly,
Melville, Shasta Co, Cal. ID. HOOPER.
Price SOC per bottle. For sale by Hodge,
Davis & Co., c. A. Plummer & Co., and
Clarke, Woodland & Co., Portland, Oregon.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

We call the attention of the public to the
advertisement of w. B. Wiltshire & Co.,
who are well known all over the Pacific
Coast as dealers in and agents for the Mac.
neal Safes, and the Buffalo Scales. The
firm has been in business in San Francisco
for over ten years, and have gained an en-
viable reputation for fair dealing and the
excellent quality of the goods which they
represent.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

Early rose. 45@75c; garnet chile. 65@u71c;
peerless. 65@8Oc v ctl.
BAGS AND BAGGING-We quote best
quality Calcutta wheat bags, standard size
Quentin factory make, ST: California Jute
Mill make. 64@7c: potato gunnies, lOA @ll3c;
wool bags. 3O@40c apiece; Burlap CLOTH
&c for 40 inch.
aAY-Alfaifa, Ss. C0a13. 90: wheat. sl2. OK
@,l7.O0; oat, $ll.0O@l5.O0: barley, 5000
100: mixed. $7.00@l0.00 v ton.
| CRACKED CORN -Quotable at $3O@3l
Al PLES-v bx., $4,000.
| STRAW-Quotable at 500G5c v bale.
HONEY-Extracted. 6(g7e " 10 foI
choice: comb. 8@l0c; extracted 4@5c.
| BEESWAX-This article finds poor Gus.
tom. Quotable at GAG 2Sc y ID.
| CORN-California yellow is auotable at
$l.40@1.45 for large, and $l.45a1.5O for
small al, w hi !. Nebraska, white
TA1LOW-Grease, 3@4: crude, 6@6sc;
refined: as@8ac y h.
BEANS-We quote as follows: Bayos.
$2@2.50: red, $2@25; butter. $1.50G2: pink,
$1,000 2.1O: l;mas. $20O@15: small white.
$l:5o@l ST.; pea. sl.O0@2 90 v ctl.
| SEEDSCBrown mustard, x2.50@ co.
yellow. $2.OO@2.e5; canary, 4@5c; hemp,
faifa, l0c y h.; flax, $2.5Oa2.75 Sctl.
ordinary and inferior grades.
We quote: Surprise and milling. 81 .35
@1.40: No. l, $1.20@1.3 80; No. 2, Sl.OC@
LILO; black: $l:00@l.l5 y ctl; new Salinas
feed. 81.1O@1.25.
California, l0@l3Ic.
CORNMEAL-Millers quote feed at $3.50
| @32 y ton: fine kinds, for the table, in
large or small packages. &c " fb.
IIDDLINGS-Active at $l7.50@20.W v
ton.
ONIONS-Quotable at 5O@75c u ctl.
BRAN-The spot market is Quotable at
$l8.00@19. 90 per ton.
GROUND BARLEY uotable at 81 80
@23.5p v ton.
BUCKWHEAT-Quotable at 81 LOO U ctl.
DRIED PEAS Green, $225; niles
el.75: blacKeye. $500 y ctl
RECElPTS-Wheat. 24.030 ctls.: flour
1860 or. SKIS: oats, 1900 ctls.; potatoes
z, $50 SKIS: eggs. 18. 500 doz.
WHEAT-The market is assuming bet
ter shape. There is good demand and de-
sirable offerings find quicker custom.
Shippers willingly pay 81 .25 y ctl for No.
Equality, while $1.26i is given for any
thing Of extra character. Millers are buy
ing with moderate freedom, paying as
high $l.30 y ctl for selections. Closing
prices were:
No. White Bid. Asked.
Buyer season. :.......$l 3e4 81 38A
Buyer season, city. - lO4
Buyer 1884. ..,....... 12s 2si
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

Little things may help a man to rise-a
bent pin in an easy chair for instance DIR.
Pierce's Pleasant Purgative Pellets" are
small things, pleasant to take, and they
cure sick-headaches, relieve torpid livers
and do wonders. Being purely vegetable,
they cannot harm any one. All druggists.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
TO NEWSPAPER MEN.

Palmer & Rey, Type Founders and Press
Dealers, make special quotations on Type
and Printing Material to Purchasers in
the Northwest. Nos. 112 and ia Front
street, Portland, Oregon.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

CATARRH-AN New Treatment whereby
q permanent cure is effected in from one to
three applications. Particulars and trea-
& Son, 500 King street west, Toronto, Can.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

If you want handsome photograph 90
to the only first-class gallery in Portland,
Abel & Son, % Washington street.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

-" Pile tumors cured in ten days,
rupture in four weeks. Address Worlds
Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo,
N. Y.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
TWO. VERY UGLY TWINS.

They go hand in hand, and lead their
victim terrible trot down into the valley
of the shadow of death. One is neuralgia,
the other rhematism. These generally pro-
coed from disordered blood. Browns Iron
ting the blood Alright and invigorating the
system. Mr.. w. 7. Osborne, of Coxville,
Ala, used Browns Iron Bitters for rheu-
matism and neuralgia with most happy
effect. 1t also cures dyspepsia.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
A REMEDY FOR LUNG DISEASES.

The writing master does fiourishing
huSipaSs
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

Equal parts of chloroform and alcohol
will remove paint spots from cotton goods.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

Ii you want COED smoke, try "Seal Ct
North Carolina" plug cut"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
DEsPIsE NOT THE DAY OF SMALL THING

Known by his "fizz"-the settler water
dealer.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

Up in arms-the squalling infant at
midnight.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

DR.. He,,leys Ce.ery, Beef and Irsn liz
the best Nerve Tonic ever discovered.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

An English actor named Chimney is
said not to draw well.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
Santa Quanta, aged l22 yea,

Santa Quanta, aged To years. Of
Archer, Fla. is dead. He was native
of West Africa. and was brought to
this country in 177S, when sixteen years
old. He outlived his master, the son,
and the grandson, who inherited him.
He buried five wives. living los years
in the married relation, and outlved
all his children. He was very athletic
and tall, apd, considering his age, re-
tanned his faculties well.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

Pretty small fry oysters at boarding
house.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
SAN FRANCISCO MARKETS.

HIDES-Dry. " n. usual selection. 1910
TIC; dry kip. l63@l7c: dry cali, l9@2Oc;
salted steers, 50 to 55fbs. 7@71c.
WOOL - Mendocino. lS(020c. v h.;
Humboldt, 1S@20c; San Joaquin. lO9l5c;
eastern Oregon, 15@l9c.
LARD California, lob. tins, 9i@1Oc;
Eastern, l2@l24c for tierses, and l24@l2ac
y ID for pals.
HOPS-v b.. 14@l5c:
POULTRY-Live turkeys. gobblers. 20
@2lc. do. hens. 2O02lc. do. dressed. 2l0
&c: roesters, x4.5O(a5. 90 for old. and So. OK
$3.50 for young; hens $6.00@7. 80; broil-
ers. e3.50@4.2 5. according to size: ducks,
sc. O0a8.00 v doz. geese e1.75@2.25 Hpair
RUTHERFORD to choice roll. v H..
2j@3Oc: fair, l5@l9c: firkin, 20@2lc: east.
ern. PACIFIC.
EGGS-Y dox.. 43@45c.
FLOUR-Steady local trade.
We quote: San Francisco extra, best. al
$4.25@4.S0; medium, $3.5O@4.0O; shipping
superfine. 82.5OG3.50.
BARLEY Light offerings keep the
market in fair trim. Sample lots of good
Feed are taken at q range of 9'@g7Ac, with
occasional transfers at 81 u ctl. Lower
grades are largely neglected and stock Of
this character drags badly, though holders
are willing to sell at 82a@85c y ctl. From
$1@l.l0 y ctl will include all business in
Brewing descriptions. Bidding was as fol.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
A Bicycle Is n Vehicle.

Lawyer Weston, of the Boston
Cyclists Touring Club. mounted on q
bicycle. encountered wagon placed
croSswise of the street. so as to prevent
his passage. An attempt to turn the
horse around being unsuccessfully made.
owing to the opposition OF the driver.
Mr.. Weston timed the obstruction, and
finding it more than the X minutes al
lowed by law. he brought an action for
damages. The defendants argument
was that a bicycle did not come within
the legal or popular definition of the
word vehicle. Judge Adams. however,
had not the slightest doubt. if the ques-
ton was brought before the Supreme
Court. but that bicycle would be adj
JUDGED vehicle under the statutes.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
THERE SHALL BE NO ALPS.

A tea made of lettuce leaves is good fol
wakefulness.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

A CARD.-Toa all who are suffering from er
rors and indiscretions of youth, nervous weak
ness. early decay, loss of manhood, etc. will
send recipe that will cure you, FREE OF
CHARGE. This great remedy was discovered
by missionary in South America. Send self
addressed envelope to REV. JOSEPH T. INMAN
Station ID, New York.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

TRY GERMEA for Breakfast.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12

For Coughs. Asthma and Throat
Disorders. use "BrOtCn's Bronchial
T'rOches,"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-12-12
TUFTS hair DYE

GRAY HAIR or WHISPERS changed to a
GLOSSY BLACK by single application Of
this DYE. It imparts n natural color, acts
simultaneously. Sold by Druggists, or
ohice, - Murray St., New York.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1884-05-14
SCIENTIFIC MISCELLANY.

A meteorological observatory has
been erected by Pope Leo XIII at
Capineto. Romano, his native city.
Entomologists of England are la
menting the gradual disappearance
OF the butterfly from that country.
Baron Nodenskjold, the eminent
Swedish navigator of the Artic seas,
contemplates voyage to south poler
regions next year.
A French astronomer remarks that
Sirius, the dog-star, which appears to
us of a brilliant white, was decribed
by Horace and Cicero as red
A watch with only two wheels,
which are driven by electricity from a
tiny battery, is reported from st.
Petersburg. 1t is said to be a good
time-keeper,
Mons. E. Juny has found violet
light to be favorable to the develop
ment of the eggs of various animals,
while an injurious, or at least retard-
ing influence is exerted by green and
red lights.
BY experiments on infected hams,
Messrs. Mignon and Touard have
proven that trichinae may be rendered
entirely harmless by exposure for an
hour to cold of four degrees below
zero Fahrenheit.
Mr.. Hugh Browne has drawn at
tention to the fact that the Sutley,
one of the great streams of British
India, is probably the swiftest large
river in The world, having decent of
$4,000 feet in 100 miles-ans average OF
about 81 feet per mile. ~ 7
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1884-05-14
woMAN's TENAcITY OF LIFE.


1t appears from the gathered Stats
tics of the world that women have Q
greater tenacity of life than men. Ma
ture worships the female in all its va
rieties, says the Modern Age. Among
insects the male perishes at relatively
early period. In plants the seminate
blossoms die earliest, and are produced
on the weaker limbs. Female quadru-
peds have more endurance than the
males. In the human race, despite the
intellectual and physical strength OF
the man, the woman endures longest,
and will endure pain to which the
strong man succumbs. Zymotic dis.
eases are more fatal to males and more
male children die than females. De
verga asserts that the proportion dying
suddenly is about 100 women to $50
men; 1850 men in the United States in
1870 committed suicide to 295 women.
Intemperance. apoplexy, govt, hydro
cephalous, affections of the heart or
liver, scrofula, paralysis, are far more
fatal to males than females. Pulmona-
ry consumption, on the other hand, is
more deadly to the latter. Females in
the cities are more prone to consump-
ton than in the country. All old coun-
tries not disturbed by emigration have
q majority of females in their popula-
ton. In royal families the statistics
show more daughters than sons, The
Hebrew woman is exceptionally long
lived, the colored man exceptionally
short lived. The married state is IA
vorable to the prolongation of life
among women. DR.. Hough remarks
that there are from 2 to per cent.
excess of females in the living popula-
tions. From which statistics we con-
clude that all women who can possibly
obtain one of those rapidly departing
men ought to marry, and that, as men
are likely to become so very scarce,
they cannot be sufficiently PRICED by
the other sex.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1884-05-14
WOMEN ARE HONEST.

Although hundreds of women hold
positions of financial trust in this coun-
try, we have yet to hear of one of them
being guilty of embezzlement or defal-
cation, says the Albany Journal. The
evidence clearly sustains the positions
of those who believe that women are
qualifed-morally, physically and in
tellectually-for the handling of money
in stores or in banks. Gen. Spinner,
who first introduced women into the
United States treasury, left on record a
striking testimonial to the efficiency
and integrity of the sex, and no one ev-
er had better opportunity to study
the question than he, who at one time
had one thousand women under his di-
rection, engaged chiefly in handling
money. He testifes that they count
more accurately and rapidly than men;
that their ability to detect counterfeits
proved to be superior in almost every
test; that they were, without an excep-
tion, honest, and were invariably more
careful and painstaking in their work.
Complaints of inaccuracy and careless
ness on the part of men were made fire.
quently during Gen. Spinner's admin
istration of the United States treasury,
but such complaints against lady clerks
were few. The quickest and shrewdest
detectors of counterfeit money were
women, and in cases of dispute as to
the genuineness of money, Gen. Spin
ner Invariably took the judgment Of a
Miss Grandin, who was for a long time
employed in his bureau. In speaking
of her ability in this particular one day,
Gen. Spinner said: eff were believ-
er in clairvoyance I should say that she
possessed that power; but am not, SO
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1884-05-14
The What and the 1t.

A What, escaping from it's keepers,
was walking down the street, and occa-
sonally mingling in feeble way with
the Human Beings who jostled by,
when it met a lonely 1t, surrounded by
a Newmarket.
'Ah, deah boy" said the What,
''tevah's mattah with your"
'tAlas," replied the heart-broken It.
"Dweadful, isn't it? Y see, they came
home new lawst night, don't y know,
and my valet, he pulled them on the
tongs to stwetch them, don't y know
An just want to die, deah boy, 'pon
honah, do now.'
And shedding tear as large as a
pea, the unhappy 1t was drowned in its
briny depths. -Burlington Haa0keye.