Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-06-25

tended an entertainment in Little Ro
recently, and the, next mornings pap
contained the following motto
"Among the guests were Mrs. Justice
of-the Peace Jackleton, Mrs. Deputy
Sheriff Puglemore, Mrs. Policeman
Latsoaps and Mrs. Assistant dog catch
Ell Bezierain." Arkansas Traveller.
BRIDGET" said Mrs. Wigglesworth
to the new kitchen lady from Messina,
"you may lay the table," "Is thy serv-
ant hen, that she should do this
thing?" queried Mr.. Wigglesworth IA
cetiously as the door closed. "Why not?"
returned his wife, for once coming to
time. "She is a Biddy." And Mr..
Wigglesworth said "H'm" and went
out to see if his sweet peas were coming
up, and found that with the assistance
of the neighbours hens they we're
Rockland Courier ournal.
CHARLES is very clever fellow, my
dear, and [ appreciate his affection for
you, but cannot consent to your re-
ceiving his attentions with view to
matrimony." "Why not, papa" asked
Julia, ready to burst out crying. I'm
sure he's perfectly able to support me-"
"That may be so, my dear; but as q
prudent father and member of a
Christian community must firmly de-
cline to allow any child of mine to
marry the son of New York bank
president. - Brooklyn Eagle.
A GIRL from the Emerald Isle, who
understood the art of cooking in
toirely," was hired from Castle Garden
on Friday last by New York family
uptown. She was told to have corned
beef and string beans for dinner. When
dinner was announced the family was
surprised to see in the middle of the
table a huge piece of roasted corned
beef, with the beans all tied one by one
to a long string. The servant excused
the delay in getting dinner because it
took so long "to toy the banes on the
shtring."
A BUMPTIoUs Englishman, Figaro
says, was dining with a lady at table
d'hote in Boulogne. Seated opposite
to them was German, on whose hand
were some rings. After gazing at the
German, the Englishman said to his
companion in a low voice: Il hate to
see man with rings on" After lit
tie time the Englishman again said to
the lady: "Do you know what should
do with a ring if I had one?" Before
the lady could reply the German leaned
across the table, and, with a growl, said
wear it in your nose!'
Chow is it," said citizen, meeting
an acquaintance, "that you manage to
wear such good clothes? If you would
not expend so much on dress, you
might be able to repay that sum of
money you borrowed from me"
at is evident that you do not under
stand the situation" the acquaintance
replied. eff I did not dress well I
could not borrow money. I bought
these clothes with the money borrowed
from you. I am out of business, you
know, and if I don't keep myself in
presentable shape, why I'd come out at
the contracted end of the wind instru-
ment. p Arkansaw Traveller.
81 HOPE, sor, you will assist poor
man whose house and everything that
was in it, including me family, sor, was
burned up two months ago last Thurs
day. sor." The merchant to whom this
appeal was addressed, while very phil
anthropic, is also very cautious so he
asked: "Have you any papers or certif-
cate to show that you lost anything by
the fire?" Il did have certificate, sor,
signed before a notary public to that
effect, but it was burned up, sor, in the
house with me family and the rist of me
effects" The tears ran out of the mer-
chants eyes from laughing as he handed
over quarter.-[Texas Siftings.