Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1884-10-28

penetrating the hustle Of his Pantsloons.
There he was with the bird. all q cav
ing and the old crows q peckins at him.
suspended over the water. just rolled
over and nearly died . laughing. but
when he commenced to swear. my feel
ing. w,Ie touched. for you know ! be-
long TO the sabbAih-sehool, and began
10 think how to rescue him. took out
my sho, cartridge. and loaded with ball
and taking careful aim fired At the branch
,ha, held his pan,aloons. lie fell into
the river and swsm ashore. after being
suspended there two hours"
Two hoarl How do you make that
out ?" in,euoga,ed the manager
"why. | was laughing an hour and
half. and the other half hour ". TAX
ing aim"
FIsu Win A rnRsT ToR COLD.
IL was oa, rowing With . young mar
ried lady by moonlight, one evening last
.pring-oh. you necdn't smile. she was
a relative Of mine you 'ee,-shen drt-
ing on the ,ilvery waters Of the kensbee
past the romantic shores Of Auo~sie, the
lady suddenly uttered cry Of horror !,
seems ,hs, in .wsshing her hand through
the water. her wedding ring had slipped
from her finger and fallen into the depths
Of the rv,r Looking over the side Of
the boa, discovered huge shad With
the ring in his mouth. and tossing of my
Goa, and boots plunged In after him.
The fish had ten fee, star, bu, had
been considered somewhat Of swimmer
when q boy, and was determined 10 catch
the .had or die in the attempt. The
fish saw my shadow and put fOr home.
saw him swallow the ring and thar
made me mad. lie made very good time
10 trying to sv.de me. bat finding that !
va. gaining. be tried to dodge. | AN
,Omewha, Of dOdgsr myself you know,
and ,ha, trick sealed hi. doom. lie had
only doubled twice when grabbed him
and Immediately rose 10 the surface.
when was once more 10 the boat, quite
ou, Of breath. looked At my watch and
found that I had been ia the hver jus,
5 minutes Opening the 'hld We found
my eompabion'. matrimonial eircle,, and
also In hi. stomach. twen,y-'ix other
wedding rings. one o. which was sneir-
eled by large diamonds. while within was
inscribed Victoria from Albert. This
| forwarded to Queen Vic snd received
from her q month ago an autograph let
ter of thank. with drait on the bank Of
RnsIsnd for io.ooo pounds. I, pays to
be honest. young man."
rmE REBEL SPY.
III was on guard At For, MeCoomb
between Lakes Bowen and Pon,char.
train" remarked the veteran. "where
Cos c. and X. Of the 18th Maine. the
cold water regiment. vas enesmped. l
thought heard some one snoring. and
going to the lake shore TO investigate
matters found the enemy TO be q sleepy
alligator nearly twelve fee, long. As |
approached ineaa,iously, he awOke aud
making q snap a, me seized my foot
which was eneAsed in q stout army boot.
gave the alarm and the soldiers rushed
down from the camp TO my assistance.
They seized me by the shoulders and
pulled. while the alligator tried to back
into the water. In the struggle | lost
my boo, and my big toe. besides severely
spraining my ankle The alligator al
,erwsrd captured. and found TO be, no,
an alligator. bu, a rebel spy eneased in
an alligator. skin, sen, over to inves,i'
gate. and also to obtain boot. and shoes
for the rebel army. Inside the skin were
discovered fourteen pairs Of shoes. and
the spy acknowledged. before being
hung, that he had obtained ia this way
some 5000 pair. Of boots and shoes for
the Confederstes."
ms PAID rHK soRroAoE.
"Did I ever tell you how ! paid the
mortgage on the old gents farm ," asked
the champion
Never" said We.
"well, I vas fishing ia the creek one
cold day. las, winter, when ! hooked on
TO wha, though, was q whale, but what
proved to be an enormous bass. which
weighed on the ice three hundred and
fifty pounds. and elingins to bis tail Vas
q smel, ,h., weighed ten pounds l sent
both Immediately to the Smithsonian
Institute At Washington. aud received Ia
return a check tor $4,000. and . request
to catch more II possible"
The bass Was sll ngh, enough. per-
hsp.. tu, how do you sccoan, for the
ten pound smell, elinging to the bass
tsil!"
"Oh, IL the bass Was TO 20 on exhibi'
- - ..l A. o., 80, y~niied th.