The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-14
A MARTrNET FISHERMAN.
A Military Razor as an Inducement to
Izaak WaltOn's Gentle Sport.

Apropos Of suicide being crime.
says a writer in the San Francisco
Arsonaut. l am reminded of an snec-
dote OF Magrudor. who was in some
sort the Bill Nyo of the army. Magru-
der looked at everything from quiz
zical point of view. He was an Irish
luan--a brilliant man-but SO possess
ed with the sense of humor that he was
thoroughly illogical. He used to dress
in the most eccentric manner, and was
always carrying out strange theories
which he evolved from his inner con-
sciousness. When quite q young officer
he whiled away the tedium OF his gar
rison life by studying law under Judge
Castor. distinguished jurist Of the
| day. He was quite proud of this fact,
and was wont often to allude to it.
One day Magruder became possessed
with the idea that fishermen did not
! know how to catch haddock. He was
stationed in Maine, and he determined,
to drill them to do 1t in q military
fashion.
..Dithipline Is the thing, thir." In
addition to his other peculiaritics Ma
gruder lisped badly. ''Alen should
catch fish like soldiers. BY heaven.
thir this is true"
No one was unwise enough to dispute
it, and SO Magruder went to work to
perfect his plans. Such is the force of
earnest persuasion that he succeeded
In convincing quite body of fishermen
to go in with him. At 4:30 in the morn
ing MRgruder made the round of his
tents. for, in true soldier style. he had
put them all in tents. To his horror
he found his men asleep.
..By heavens, thir," said he to the
man in the first tent. ''why are you not
up?"
The fisherman only turned lazily in
his cot. s-
.'Get up. tell you. I" aaid Magruder,
angrily; ''get up"
The fisherman, unused to the sweets
of discipline, only cursed aloud. Here
was dilemma. by heavens. thir,"
said Magruder. as he afterward told the
story ON himself. II had to do some
thing to preserve discipline. So told
him that if he didn's get up I'd cut his
throat"
1t seems, however. that the man paid
not the slightest attention to what he
considered an impotent threat.
But, unfortunately for him. Magru-
der was quite logical in his absurdities.
Besides, he reasoned thus: II have
said would cut his throat, and by
heaven / must do it!'' So thinking he
stole up TO the man. took razor and
drew it across the cuticle, intending
merely to draw blood. But the man
moved, so that the cash was quite con-
siderable. The sacrificial victim roared,
and o man in an adjoining tent came
to the rescue. Magruder turned
angrily to the newcomer and said:
s.Tio this man up to that tree"
He did not dare to hesitate. He saw
the blood flowing freely from his COM
psnion's throat He saw MagrudeI
with razor in his hand. So the man
was duly tied up.
Nov. thir, will you get up in the
morning and go out fishing when tell
you3"
The man. now terrified and weak
.. from loss of blood. yielded. and prom
ised anything.
Take him down." said Magruder.
sternly. The order was executed.
Nov sign this paper" And with this
, he tore q leaf out of his note book, on
which he had written confession that
the luckless fisherman had cut his own
throat in the intention of committing
suicide.
'.Now, thir. il you dare say anything
about what has occurred this morning
l shall produce this paper. The at
tempt to commit suicide is crime
BY heaven! know. / have studied
law under Judge CASTOR"