Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-01-11

Santa Claus to state that this feature was not on
his programme and that he is in no wise respon-
sible for the deplorable occurrences.
IT ia a very natural mistake for people to be-
Ieve that St. Paul girls are charged extra bag
gage for their feet when they travel, but the
idea is an erroneous one. With very lew excep-
tions the feet fall under the $50 pound limit.
IT was a grievous blunder for the foreman OF
a Dakota paper to get the heading ''Traps for
the Unwary" over a list of the names of mem
bers Of female social club, but an explain stion
in the next issue patched the matter up in fair
average shape. - = =: -. ~ ssa-.-,{s-
AN Arizona judge resigned from the bench to
become a hotel waiter. In Arizona this was
considered quite rise in the world, and the To-
scal paper gave l1im nearly g oolumnsof oongratr
s rlation5 on the first page, headed: 'eTrue Merit
Will Tell" ~ ~" ~
I TEE editor of college paper calls contem-
porary 'gander-shanked, knocked-kneed, by
hrid hvena of perdition." 1t should be stated,
however. that he served his full time as devilo n
q country paper and used to help the editor out
durinq q rush of business.
. Tr,s q wise father that knows his Or, rather,
it's wise child that kaows bis own fa- What
we are trying to say is that it is wise child that
knows its own mother in the eccentric circles OF
Utah society. We get things mixed sometimes
in this snrging rush of thought.
In noticing the fifth marriage of Dakota
editor contemporary said: IF ne wou1d
change his shirts as often as he does his wives
his personal appearance would not be such an
embarrassment to his friends.' This is sarcasm
with big letters all the way through the word.
TWENTY young ladies from one church In
Philadelphia have been married within the past
two months. A year hence the pastor Of that
church will find it difficult to make himself
heard, unless the happy ladies leave the cher
;shed counter irritants at home in the care OF
nurses.
.sARAH BARNum'' was translated in New York
in five hours, requiring the work of twenty i've
translators. After completing the work the
translators went and confessed and were granted
absolution, but it is said the penance imposed
uoon them by the good father was of far more
than usual severity.
You can now purchase revolver for 50 cents,
but they are so fearfully and wonderfully made
that if you were to stand on the domo Ut Dako-
tas new capitol and hold one of them right on
the center of Lake Superior you would be liable
to inflict severe gunshot wound in the bosom
of the broad Atlantic. E " .=' t.
A LOUISVILLE clergyman said IN his sermon
on Sunday morning, that if women and men
would only dance in separate rooms he would
not obj ,ct to dancing. If the reverend gentle
I man had ever sampled the dadoed delights of q
dreamy waltz he would not have made such a
wild break as that. '"-' >.'
A LADY correspondent asks Us what the "coque
plumes'' are that she so often sees mentioned in
fashion articles. The coque, dearest is a
polygamous old bird that stalks about the lawn
of stable with proud and imperious mien,
and occasionally hops up onto pile Of brio-a-
brac and sings glad and triumphant song when
one Of his wives rings out the joyful tidinga
that another egg is born. He wears the plumea
awav back in the dim past of his body. II
The Philadelphia Call began q song:
clark my soul! and hear the voice
ls OF Natures countless tongues OF song"
And lust then Nature e countless tongues Of song