The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1884-10-16
WIT AND HUMOR.

""SoS VI OH uOWauayS Qop0nQ
great deal on the wealth Of the bank.
and tho chance the cashier has.
A revenue officer entered the store Of
merchant who never advertised and
arrested him because he kept q still
house.
'Five thousand molecules can sit
comfortably on tho point of q pin."
Herein the molecule differs from man.
-NoriStoa0n Herald.
An exchange says "a Short-horn
brought over thousand puineas in
England Great Scottt What must q
long drink cost thereP
Our cook ought to be burned at the
stoak!' exclaimed Popipjay, as a par
ucularly nice cut came In from the
Kitchen burned to n crisp.-Barlinqto,
! free Press.
~ Nenlucky man was recently killed
! IN Il duel, and it is thought that this
! accident will have the effect of putting
dampcr on duoling in that state
Boston Post.
AN american lady married to an
Italian Princo year ago has already
left him. " The Prince must have gone
through her fortune quito rapidly
Jersey CITY Journal
never speculate with your own mon
ey' my son, or very soon you may have
no money with which to speculate.
Don't be selfish. Give your friends'
money the first chance.
Fargo young lady named Rouse.
Caught glimpse of n poor little mouse,
And the scream that she scrome, Shat
tered heavens blue dome, And bulged
out tho walls of tho house.
If tho faults of man wore turned Tn
virtues, and his virtues to faults, he
would be SO nearly perfect that-welI.
ne couldn't stay here, that's tho truth
OF the mattcr.-ArkdnsaW Traveller.
In Whitcchapcl Church, London.
recently, an infant was actually chris.
tened Osman Digma Smith. If that
child does not grow up rebellious
youngstor it will not be tho fault of its
godparents.
A southern judge lately decided that
a husband lean strike his wife three
llcks with switch and escape punish-
ment, " and the Boston Post saws His'
Honor is evidently unmarried or he
would know botter.
An exchange says: A miss in Gaddes.
town, Ga, has hair that sweeps the
floor. Now if this miss had hair that
could cook, wash and iron and milk
the COWS, what Il bonanza she would
be as wife.-Brooklyn Times.
A mans honesty should be consid-
cred in connection with the opportuni,
ties he has had to steal. There arc
lots of pious young men who have
mover been where they could reach
any big sum of money.--NeW Orleans
Ptcay,tne.
"I'm glad Billy had the sense %
marry settled old maid" said Grand.
ma Winkum Mt the wedding. Goals ia
hity-tity, and widders is kinder over
rulin' and upsettin'; but Old maids Is
kinder thankful and will,' to please"
Middleton Press.
"What arc you slowing I'D forpn
yelled freight conductor to an on
glnecr on ono of our Vermont roads.
why, wc've run over o book agent"
'iI}rat 1t all, then, why don't you keep
onP We can't kill him unless the
whole train runs over him. "-Burli1o-
ton W. J Free Press.
The chief difficulty about o woman
doctor is that if she was suddenly called
to attend man who had fallen down
shaft, and they told her ho was
young man and unmarried, she would
stop so long to fix her crimps that tho
man would be liable to die from the
violence of his contusions. .-Rockland
Courier
''Look here, waitor!' cried Crimson.
bcak, who was stopping for fow DAYS
at Concy Island, "this ham is not as
good rs what l got here last summerr'
81 don't see why" replied tho waiter,
| In Qnrnricp. Gif1u hn
sir!' Crmsonbeak leaves without par
taking, and wondering why he didn't
think of that before. Yonkers States
man.
"What arc the chief clements of
prospcrityP' asked tho professor.
"Moncy," promptly replied the smart
ey. No truly prosperous man Is very
poor If he has" But the profess
sor sat down on him rs usual and
marked him ~ off," although tho boy,
according to his custom, had made
limo shot.
The boy who lies In bed until he Is
called six times will got up at 8 o'clock
without being called at all to fire off
his pistol under tho window of his COM
panion to wake him up. But before he
is out of bed his companion has per-
iormod like duty for him, and at tho
blowing Of tho o'clock factory whistle
they have fired off a pound of powder
between thom, and are as black as
Africans and as happy as kings.
"And so now they're engaged! Well.
Jessie, to think of you, with your
beauty and accomplishments ano your
lovely voice, being cut out by such &u
Ignorant little fright as that Maggie
Quickson! You sang to him, sup
poseP' yes, mamma, by the houri
But she made him sing, you know, and
played his accompaniments for himP'
why, can be slngP" "No mamma;
but sho made him bolieVe he could?'
"Womon," says Miss Howe. in her
new novel, "aro neither angels who
stand immeasurably above mon. nor
inferior beings whose place is at their
foct; but human like themselves, full
of good and faulty instincts, and, with
oil 11ho;r lamentations tho God.oivan