The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-02-10
THE SPOOPENDYKES.
A Rumpus Raised About the Loss OF a
SWalloW.Tailed Coat.

"My DEAR" saic iMrs. Spoopen.
dyke, backing away from her re-
freshment table and regarding the
effect with her head very much on
one side; ''my dear. what are you
going to YEA. when you make calls
on New Year's?"
"Clothes, 1 suppose, returned
Mr.. Spoopendyke. looking up from
his paper. "Why, has the fashion
changed recently about wearing
clathes?" and Mr.. Spoopendyks re-
garded his wife with an anxious look
OF inquiry.
But you should wear your swal-
low-tailed coat by all MEANS" con
tinued Mrs. Spoopendyke. "All the
gentlemen wear swallow.tsiled coats
on New Years day row."
''Well, if you think you are going
TO strap me up in q two lined coat
and Start me around this town look
ing like the head waiter OF dollar
aD6-a-hslf summer resort, you're just
as badly left as a one-armed man at
church supper! / may be dod
gssted ass enough to hop around TO
the various hen old roosts, wishing the
contents a happy New Year, but
when you melt me into clo!hespin
Jacket it'll be when reason no longer
holds her seat in this dod gasted
BRAIN" with which application of q
trite quotation Mr.. Spoopendyke set
tied himself back and contemplated
bis wife with lofty glance Of supe-
riority.
"Of course. il you don's want to-"
replied Mrs. Spoopendyke. soothiogly.
'there won't be any great objection
raised to your business suit. Be-
sides. DOW that I think of it, the
moths got into your dress coat. and l
don't think it is fit to be seen." and
she put few finishing touches on
her table, ard admired i: from an.
other standpoint.
Lets see ;tl'demanded Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. springing from bis cnair
and making for his closet, closely
followed by his wife. Whats the
matter with III What's the moth got
to do with it? Who put moths IN
its" and Mr.. spoopendyke rumaged
around and fred bis clothing in all
10 his vain search for the
particular garment. Where is it,"
be howled, scattering bis wardrobe
broad cast. Have the messly moths
eaten it all up? Didn't they leave
even q button hoieI Show me my
coati Bring oat the split ia the
tailsl If there's nothing else left,
give me one last, fond glance at the
arm holesl' and Mr.. Spoopendyke
kicked his beet trousers to the CELL
ing, followed them with vest, which
be supplemented With pair Of boots.
Show me the great North American
moth fodder! Fetch forth the IN
paralIelled diet for the messly moth
Are We a nation7" yelled Mr.. Spoc-
pendyke, jamming his thumb in the
door and hopping around the room
with the injured digit ip his mouth.
bod CAST the doorp' he howled,
bringing it a prodigicus kick that
bent mis- leg I p under him like
school girls.
did you bur: yourself. dear'"
asked Mrs. Sp0opendyke, lodging
the flying boots and clothing.
"D0es it look as il I'd hurt the
door any" demanded Mr. Spoopen-
iyke, iamming his thumb il his
armpit, and bending double with the
pain. docs that door give the ims
preston of having smashed its
lhumb anywhere? Why didn't the
moths eat the door, Hoist 'em out
and give 'em feedP' and Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke caught the offending wicket
BY the knobs and tugged until he was
out of breath.
.'Perhaps it isn't 90 bad after ALL"
Mrs. Sp,opendyke. follow
ing him around the room in traits
Iees effort to catch up with him.
"Pr'haps it ain'tI" rosred Mr.. |
spoopendyke. boiling bis thumb out
1t arms length. "Pr'haps you've
got some scheme for making it worsel
Oh, go ahesdI Don't mind me!
Take the thumb, friend, and do your
worst!" Add Mr. Spoependyke
dropped into bis chair and groan
With wrath. "It's a good thing for |
his family thst I can control my.
elfl" be howied. "If / was like
most men the lot On which this house
tsnds would be . good place to
,uildP" with which solemn prophecy
Dir. Spoopendyke sprsng 10 his feet.
licked the chair into the obnoxious
loset and snorted aloud.
II didn't mean your thumb d. ar"
Explained Mira. Spoopendyke. Il
vas talking about the coat. May be
be coat isn't in such q bad condition
8 I supposed it was at first" |
"Think they left q pocket any.
there" inquired Nj. Spoopendyke
nth grimace. half pain and half
niger. ''Or pr'haps you think that
Ince the moths eat the cost / can
rear the mothsl Bring them outl
lold 'em up while climb into the
leevesl That's yous ides7 That's
be notion that's been bo.heripg yon
D longs"
81 don't know bat what you can
'ear the coat anywayl" chirped Mrs.