Daily Republican., 1884-03-06
MIRTH AND MERRINENT,

What have you that's good ?" sai'
hungry traveller, as he seated himsel
at a table d'hote in one of the new SGT
Elements. "Oh," said q waiter
we've roast beef, roast mutton, roas
pork, and broiled curlews." "What'
curlew 2" said the traveller. why
bird, something like q snipe
Could it hv ?" Yes" Didn't |
have wings ?" YES" "Then don
want any curlew. Anything tina
has wings and could fly and didn'
leave this country, don't want for my
dinner
$50 you We come " ask the hand o.
my daughter" ~ adore herr OK
claimed the youth rapturously. "My
life would bs like q sand-barren with
out her" "Bess you!' said the old
man. ~ regard this AZ nothing less
than providential. You can have hel
tomorrow if you want to; and don't
postpone it later than Saturday. am
going to fail next week, and it's a.
much Az can do to look after the res,
Of the family"
Mr.. ri issig wanted to leave the
city by the last train, and not knowing
when it left, sent his servant to see. say
ing :" john, 20 down to the depot and
see when the last train goes, and hur
ry back and tell me-" John went of
and did not return for more than two
hours, when he rushed back into the
room all ont Of breath. Where have
you been all this time ?" demanded the
master. "Train just left, this very
was Johns reply.
A lady who had company to tea re-
proved her little son several times,
speaking, however, very gently. At
last. out of patience with him, she
spoke very sharply: Jimmy, if you
don't keep still I'll send you away from
the table" Yes, that's what you al
ways do when there's company, and
there are not enough peaches to go
round" was The reply Of the gifted
youth.
A very little boy was diving COW
Along a country road, to the alarm Of q
,ity lady who was on stroll in the ca.
,acity OF . GUNNER boarder. Shrinking
INTO the corner of the fence she asked:
Little boy, does that COW ever hurt
'eopls7 Swelling with Importance
It being appealed to ~ an authority, he
consolingly, Sometimes
he don't I"
The wind was damp with coming
vet. when James and blue-eyed Lizzie
net he had q bingham DER his head,
nd to the maiden thus he said " Oh,
Dvely girl, my hearts a-fre with loves
desire" The maid In &C.
ents sweet replied "Jim, hold the
mbrella more my side nv brand
ew bonnet's getting wet-I'll marry
gu, you needn't fret"
Not to he found on Earth" No, IA
"a, l do not wish to marry yet. What |
rant Is man who does not drink, |
noke, chew, snuff, 90 ont nights, gam
lie, bet, overeat, etc; In short, q man
With no vices, and one who is always
God" My daughter" said Mr..
)usenbury, q you are but stranger
'ere, heaven Is your home"
Charley Is a brave fellow remark
d Brown. Few men would care to
% about at night A. he does, .sunarmed.
should think he would be afraid that
'omebody would take his life" Nom
ens 7" exclaim cd Fogg; robbers never |
axe anything that is utterly worthless.
They might take his money, but hislife,
lever"
eyes," said Mrs Blank, in her sop
an0est accents, "when you used TO call
ne love, before we were married, III
title knew what yon meant when you
aid that yonr love should always be |
chaugeless.' And have been change
ess, sure enough" IL is suspected
hat Blank has not been overheard ID
money matters.
A miller had his neighbor arrested
Ipon a charge of stealing wheat from
lis mill but being unable to prove the
barge, the court ahjudged that the
'lainiift should apologize to the accused.
Well, said be eve had you arrested
or stealing my wheat can't prove
!, and Pm sorry for it."
A town young man went to call az a
ouDt'y farmhouse to see his sweet.
cart, whe had charge of tho dairy.
When the old man opened the door he
ok ed him timidiy Glow Is the milk
naid ?" The farmer slammed the door,
I'd he replied "Oui milk isn't made
-iIs got from the cow