Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-08-13
Press Pieassnrries.

The man who can eat the most clans
Is the chap who wins in the "shell race"
at the seashore.
The native is something of q baccha-
nalian, but for supremacy in this line we
would back-an-alien. ~
Cork-screw suits for fishing excursions
are advertised. A cork screw suits very
well for fishing excursion.
Camp-pain liter r.ature-Sufferipg from
black flies and mosquitoes while trying
to get asleep in hammock.
Billows says he has seen common street
Arabs who have checked more stubs in
q day than many bank teller.
A Brooklyn doctor has aroused the
wrath Of young men generally by an.
nounciRg that ice.cream is heathful.
A milk k-man in Cincinnati was drowned
the other day. He probably knows him.
self now what too much water is like.
"Five thousand molecules can sit com
fortably ON the point Of PIN" Herein
the molecule differs materially from man.
1t is said that glue is used in the
cheaper grades Of ice cream. This
ocoV~ns' ioi So"io SHiS poine so ssuoA
up. s
An authority on bees says that the
age at which . bee gathers her first honey
is sixteen days. Sweet sixteen" as it
were.
Tight pants are going out of fashion.
The number OF tight men in pants will
probably always remain just the same,
however. rt
''Going into politics any this fall,"
said the merchant to the dentist. ''Ex-
pect TO take the stamp occasionally"
was the reply.
"'Tis sweet to die for ons's country"
as the Brooklyn girl said to her lover
when shs tackled the fifth plate Of res.
tAursnt ice cream.
"Annex Canada cried tho bank
cashier. Heavens, no; hope not. 1t
would just take away all chances OF
success in my profession"
They were sitting on the sofa in the
front parlor and hs was holding her lit
tie hand in his own. Suddenly . thought
seemed to strike her and she asked
sweetly, .'Adolphus, are you 'boltsrf'"
Just then then the old gentleman's foot
steps sounded on the top stair. and as
he wildly grabbed his hat, Adolphus
answered, Eyes, darling; good-by."
my son" said proud father. after
the usual greetings upon the young
mans return from college. "bave you
microscope among your traps," "a mi.
croscope, dad!" replied the astonished
youth. Eyes, my son; you have been
in college, you know. four years, and l
thought II you had Q microscope handy
/ should like to see how much you had
learned -
Miss Eulalie-"I don't see what the
Hanson to call her the belle Of the
Springs. think she's Just horrid. Miss
Eudora-''So do l. She h so disgraceful-
iy vulgar" Miss Eulslie-sI had not
noticed that" Miss Eudora -"Oh. her
vulgArity is simply unsndursble. What
do you think? The other afternoon when
we were playing lswn-tennis she actually
got into perspiration."
They were talking about ice-cream.
She led the conversation, while George
sustained his part in monosyllabic sort
Of way. mo" she continued brightly,
poor ics-ce cream Is worse than noue at
ALL" Very true," assented George. 81
wouldn't eat ice-cresm unless / could
get the best" ''Nor l." "Yes, l must
have the best or none at all. Do you
know, George, where the best iee-cream
Is tnads!" Oh, yes. y he said. Where!'
'Europe." Hsa Ekaa'H
~ am waiting for the spriag time"
Sang maiden through her nose,
"For can't let Walter kiss me
without brother goes and blown.
In tho bright and balmy spring time.
When the humble bees do bum,
We can meet within the woodlet
And-yum-yum-y-u-m