Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1884-08-12
coNs7RuING THE TARIFF PLANK.


CONSTITUTING THE TARIFF PLANK.
Nasty has Meeting at the Corners and
Joe Biglcr Again Interferes.
Toledo Blade.
Confedrlt X Roads, (wich is in the state
Nv Kentucky, Jooly 80, lsS4-Ther are
beins in this world wich are constantly
maxim trouble, and that feend, Joe Big.
ler, is one Nv em, and the cheef.
We he'd called another meetin for the
purpus of 1atifyin the nominashens,
wich we he'd dooly announst by notiss
ritten by lssaker Gavitt, and posted up
IN Bascom's barroom to make shoor that
all the dimocrats Nv the Corners wood
see it. l sot by it fer day and red it to
EN-, to enshoor full attendance.
| Joe Blgler happened in and red it,and
sed it was good ijee to have ratitica.
shen meetin. He shoodent hisseli prob
ably vote for Cleveland and Hendrix, but
it wuz the proper racket to hev sich
meetlns to discuss the platforms and
sich, to the citizens votin intelligently,
aud he shood swell the meetin by bein
present hlsself.
Then knowed ther wood be trouble,
and wood hev postponed the meetin
| till some time when he wuz shoor to be
away, eff Good. But unforchinitly
coodn't.
Then I begged him not to cum, but he
insisted he wood. He felt 1t to be reli.
jus dooty.
"Relilus dooty" 1 Iremarkt sarkastical-
~, what is your relijun?"
II hevn't got much" sighed Josef
pensively. what l hev Is mostly
summed up in this: 1 labor vigrusly
every day with myself not to be quite cz
mean ez know how to be. shel be
there"
The mite cum, the horn was tootid and
Dekln Pogram, Issaker Gavitt and my.
self took one sustainer to help US thro'
the hour and half we shood be in the
meetin and deprived Nv sustenance, and
then went over to the meetin house.
1t was cheerful site. Mirandy Pog.
ram, assisted by the other demokratic
ladies w the corners. he'd got out the
flags and banners We have yoosed ever
since 1861, aud he'd festooned the walls
with EN-. Their wuz the good old ban.
ners under which we marched to defect
under Seymore and Micklellan, and
Greedy Tilden and Hancock, with the
same inscripshens on EN-. death to
AboIishinists!" "Shell White Wlmmir
be Compelled to Marry Niggers p
"Wh1te Husbands or None' Shell the
Niger, which is Beast, Contaminate
+ the Poles Besides the White Man p
Honor to the Confederate Braves! !
"Ihem wich Vote as Linkin Voted are
ez bad ez the Gorlller Hisself!' aud
various other notices nv like nacher!
. And on the wall IN the place Nv honol
wus the identikle rifle with which tha
old saint, Deekin Pogram, bushwhacket
e federal pikkits at mite, after be had bi1
q sellin' EN- watermelons all day. The
9 Corners prize that rifle. and it is allut
!, decorated when we have dimocratit
! meetins.
One advantage Nv bein dimekrat a
g the corners Is We don't change at all
The banners We marched under in 1866
do jist ez we'll for us now, for we art
constantly fitin the old fite over again
!. and allus will till death do us part.
) [ assoomed the chair and Issaker Cav
lit took the secretary's table ex.ottisho
and made the speech ns yoosual.
commenst an elaborate discushn u,
g the platform nv the party, and WI.
Q gittin on very we'll till 1 come to th
tariff plank when Joe Bigler riz and in
terruptid me. l knew the cuss wooi
i do it and my hart went down into m,
q boots.
G Il beg pardon" sed Josef, "for inter
ruptin the elokent speeker, and wooden
do 1t, only desire to assist him il
eloosidatin the eggsact meenin Nv the
platform over wich understand tina
hez bin sum trouble. Eff there is any
D thing on earth wich shood be ceer ant
!, we'll defined, SO clear that he who run
5 mny read, it is the platform NV principle
: Nv CRATE party. 1t shood be go Glen
e that the humblest intelleck shood know
q eggsackly wat is meant by it, and wa
: them wich stand on it propose to d.
!, about it.
"ro the end nv hevin' place ant
8 cleer Interpretation nv this tariff plank
q it okkurred to me, when wuz over Il
authority on the subjick, wich is MI
3 Barnum, the chairman NV the dimekrati
u commity. Eff any body on earth ough
n to know wat the platform means it il
Barnum, isn't it?"
The meetin' all yelled sYes" whcl
0 josef went on:
q II may ez we'll menshun that as
4 soomed the name Nv our esteemed frent
, Issaker Gavitt, and telegraph thus:
- "To VIM, Barnum, cheerman Nv th
nashnel dimocrstio committees:
}. "'Does the dimekratio platform meel
y perteckshun or free trade?
= "IesAKER GAv1TT, Many yoofaktrer.
"The anser l reserved wuz entirel,
II satisfaktry. It red thus:
b ITO Issaker Gavitt, Manyoofactrer:
1.-THE tariff plank in the dimekrati
). platform means tariff reform with ten
dency to the perteckshun Nv Amerikil
labor by imposin heevy dooties on th
.aanyoofaktrers nv the bloatid Britor
It Bear down heavy on the perteckshu
q tendency among yoor operatives.
"W. H. BARNuN, Cheerman."
Issaker, which hex small interest i
I. rollin.mill, rix to his feet and yelled. e
~ Ana- 4 ln1.. IT, ~.a.a-~-