The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1884-11-19
WIT AND PLEAsANTRY,

a young lacy W15nes to be apprised with
reference 10 subtle remedy for "a ticklish
feeling about the face and mouth" We
guess that vigorous brushing with heavy
mustsshe would effeetually do the business.
Explain to me the difference between
Wings and Tories" said Louis XIV. to
Madame de Vergennes. ''Sire, the Tories
are Wings when they want places aud the
Wings are Tories when they have obtained
them."-Anon.
There was not dry eye in the audience"
remarked Mr.. Blifkins, referring to the play
he had seen the night before. NO" added
Mrs. Blifkins, who had accompanied him,
"but noticed between the acts that good
many Threats seemed to be dry"
Eulalia (sentimentally): "Oh, no! 1
have no desire for great wealth. l should be
happy, very happy, as the wife of noble
bread winner" George practically: "And
l should be happy, very happy, as the hus-
band of good bread maker" She concluded
10 learn.
"Will you want sample room, sir2n asked
hotel clerk of guest who had just regis
tered. mo, sir" was the pompous reply,
II am lawyer, sir, not a drummer. am
not selling merchandise. l am selling
brains." All! see," said the clerk. "Of
course you don't want a sample'room when
you don't carry any samples"
Mr.. Societie: ~ have Just learned of
your sisters engagement and congratulated
her. / really wonder. though, how JACK
your father" Miss Unplucked Flower:
why so, Mr.. Societie?' Mr.. S.: "Why,
your father has always seemed to me 30 dis
tant, man difficult Of approach" Miss U.
f. with animation): "Oh, not at all, Mr..
Societie. Get the IDEA out of your mind, 1
beg Of you, as soon as possible. "-Harpers
Bazaar.
ho az NJ
mans asking Lord North ''Who is that
frighfuI woman" and his lordship's ans YER
ing, "That Is my wife. The other. to re pair
his blunder, replied: ''I did not mean her,
but the monster next to her," on" said
Lord North, "thst monster is my daughter"
usual, absent, enthusiastic way, was one day
entertaining lady whom he sat next to at
dinner, and lol the lady was Lady Charlotte
Lindsay-the monster in question.-London
Standard.
There is story told Of an eminent ju Ige,
still living, though retired from the bench,
which illustrates the importance OF volun-
iary confession better than the most elabo-
rate argument. A prisoner tried before him
for larceny had admitted his guilt when ap-
pretended, bat at the trial was defended
with great pertinancy by able counsel.
Gentlemen" said the judge to she jury,
"tbe prisoner says he is guilty. His counsel
says he is not. You must decide between
them" Then, after q pause he added:
There Is just one thing to remember, gen.
tlemen. The prisoner was there and his
counsel wasn't"
James, you wretch! How did that hair
get on your coat? It's red one, too Tell
me, now"
Scothe yourself, my love, soothe yourself.
l suppose il got on the street car-caught on
as leaned back, you know"
But how did it get on the breast OF your
ccat2 Oh, dear 1t couldn't go in front from
the back OF the seat"
"Psbawl That comes from not having,any
scientific information. Don't you know that
hairs move automatically on fuzzy surface?
Capillary attraction, my dear, capillary
attraction"