West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-12-26
THE PARENoLoGIsT.
The uan Who Diagnoses the Humps ON
Mems ncnds.


Mems Heads.
ono of the experiences of life which
IL not given every one To enjoy is seeing
a phrcnologi>t haul in hi, net of
gudgcon>. Being thing whose rove
lations are more apt To stimulate any
ones vanity than to help him along in
the world, phrcuology i, always SURE of
crrdulou> dcvotccs. II nourishcs best
ON rural soil though when we'll watcrcd
it grows fairly in metropolitan atmos-
phrrc.
AS the curious business is generally
managed the phrcuologist world ~
nowncd according To the circulars
has his lair behind "A screen i'm lnrrc
room generously furnished with plaster
of paris heads mapped of in sections.
and pictures which Indicate the bust
ness. Ihithcr pcnCtratcs the youth who
thinks man who has never before set
eyes ON him knows more about his head
than he does himself
When hc sits down his face is grave
and anxious To ghaStlincSS; when he
gets up he has a stunned expression.
The knowledge impaired to him has
Stupcticd him. lie has moro head
than he thought hc had. and he thought
he had a good deal His brain swclls
aS hc thinks of the kind of fellow hc is
and how unconscious he has been of his
own greatness hitherto.
Io pays his dollar. or two. or three
or five in daZcd way, and with an en-
phatic feeling that he ncycrgot so much
for 50 little money before. Perhaps he
has had a chart made out I'm that case
his mind dwclls ON il all the way home
and the way hc will surprise every body
who thought they knew him and didn't
for bc it known that although he
doubts his own knowledge of himself
and the verdict of his own father and
mother and all the ncighbors, ne never
doubts phrcnology nor the perfect hon
c~iN OF ITS apostle whom he just patron
lied. lie will doubt that the earth doth
! move, doubt that the stars are fire,
| doubt truth and all the virtues. but he
never doubts that the man who fills out
! his chart can read head, as clearly "a,
he can read the signs on lamp-posts In
! years to come hc will look over that
| chart il will become habit To look
over it and talk about it, and hc will
still believe in it. To hr sure hc tray
! ctCd different road from that which the
''''i 'tI'A NV tlN tNlll' ~ ll lllNIllliIt.
hc has not achieved the measure of
greatness which phrcnology assured him
he should; but that does not shake his
faith in his favoritc science. Circum-
stances, not phrcnology. are to blame
for his falling short OF his chart I'm his
inmost soul 10 his dying day hc believes
in that awful map. That represent,
him as he would have been if he
hadn't been handicapped by fate.
\ curious glitter comes into his eyes
| whenever he spoaks of the science of
! phrcnOlogy The subject stirs his blood.
| and puts him in good humor with him
self, though it gives him poor opinion
of the rest Of mankind. He can't help
but see that everybody yes. everybody,
except the man who examined his
head is utterly obliyious TO his great
ness. In spite Of all his philosophy this
cmbittcrS him somewhat towards an un-
! apprccialivc world He finds u dubious
sort of comfort in steering convcrsa-
/ tion into chronological channels IL
gives him am opportunity of asserting
his unshakablc belief i'm 1.-The neglected
sciences. Perhaps he does little Of
diagnosing character that way himself
II lifts him above the common herd i'm
his own mind ANY way, his faith in
his chart is u dcathlcss thing, not to be
| upset or destroyed even bv the confut-
ing evidence of long and badly ordered
! life. He may lose confidence in his
| fellow men, surrender his most cher
| ishci friendships, submit TO adverse
ruling in his love affairs. outgrow his
| religion and set aside some Of his best
| beloved hobbies; but hc dies faithful to
| phrcnology.
As each victim makes his exit from
! the chcnd-dclinca'or' clutches 10 is worth
while 10 take look al the face Of that
renowned world cnlghlcncr II is sin
| gularly composed and unrcadable If
there are di,paritics between the chart,
and thc heads, there is no record Of
them in the professor y-agc Every
| thing like an expression has been dis
| charged thrrclrOm. sun JoSc (Cui)