The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13
THE BAD BOY.
Pcck's Sun.1

Bay, what s the matter over to your house z" asked the groceryman of the bad boy, as he came in with big basket and ordered quantity of groceries. Your pas grocery bill is five times as big as it used to be. thought it was on ac- count of Thanksgiving, but it keeps piling right up, and you wouldn't order the cheapest, rustiest mackerel and two shilling tea for Thanksgiving. What's up?'
 co, we are keeping boarders," said the boy, as he wiped the mould of some prunes on his coat tail. You see, after election pa and ma held council of war, and something had to be done, cause pa can't get any office out of Cleveland be- fore next March, if he does then. So they concluded to go to keeping board CTS, ma to manage the house and pa to hustle around outside and pick up the boarders, and collect the money, and sort of boss things. have to do about all the work, though"
 "Well, that is enterprising, and am glad to see your pa settling down to steady business. But how does it work so far ?" and the groceryman handed the boy bill for the weeks groceries, with a request that his pa would pay it at once, as he had to pay his rent"
 don't think it is success" said the boy, as he backed up to the stove to get warm, and l guess it will use ma up entirely. You see pa hain't got no sense If he finds a man that is looking for board, he hustles him right home with out making any inquiries as to whether the man can pay or not, and when they don't pay, pa hasn't got sand enough to bounce 'efn, and ma has to do it. It is one continued round of pleasure between pa and ma, each finding fault with the way the other runs things. Pa got fel- low to board with us, and after two weeks he didn't have any money, and he had borrowed nine dollars of pa, and I lent him my roller skates and he hasn't showed up lately. Then pa struck a music teacher, ahd gave her the privilege of giving lessons in the parlor, and she mauled the piano all day and had feller come and sit up with her every evening, and when she came to pay her bill there was something coming to her. She charged for giving me music lessons, cause used to go in the parlor and stand up by the piano, to turn the music, and put my arm around her once in a while. Gosh, 1 thought she liked it, because she used to look up at me and smile, and when ma told her to pay up, we owed her, and she said she would stay another week and board out the balance if ma would keep her naughty boy out of the parior. Ma hustled her, you bet! Ma finds the most fault with pa about carving. She has tried to teach him to cut meat thin, so thin that you can see through it, but he carves just as though we had visitors in- stead of boarders, and ma says that will break up the best boarding house in the world. think pa showed the least sense when he took the living skeleton from the dime museum to board. A living skeleton is all right enough in his proper sphere, at museum, and nobody thinks anything of looking at him, but to have one in the family is another thing. Pa told ma that we could make more money on one living skeleton than we could on four ordinary boarders, and that en- couraged ma, and she let pa bring him home, but, lordy, the first round at the table convinced ma The skeleton eat as much as any four boarders, and after dinner three boarders left They said if they associated with the skeleton they would be ciassed as curiosities too. The skeleton is a darned nuisance, cause he don't know his place. When the music teacher was playing some tune and the boarde1s were sitting around the parior listening, the darned old skeleton would play an accompaniment with his shin bones, like a minstrel show, and the music teacher tainted and pa had to hold her and ma didusf- fikp fh at verv- weu One night pa went down to the museum and waited to come home with the skele- ton after the show. don't know whether pa had been drinking or not, but little after midnight ve heard an awful racket down stairs, and when we went down ve found that pa had hung the living skeleton on the hat-rack, and gone to bed. The skeleton was ratfling his legs against the umbrellas and canes, and yelling, and when ve unlocked his collar from the hat rack and took him down, he said he had never been treated