The Wilmingtonian. (Wilmington, Del.) 1882-188?, 1884-06-21

It's much easier TO lay plans than 10 natch
them.
Why is a great bore like bee? Both
appeal best when leaving. i
The question is: Can a girl who doesn't
use powder make her hair bang?
A carpenter can seldom be as handsome as
his wife, because he is generally deal
planer.
A model surgical operation: To take the
cheek out of young man, and 1.-THE jaw out
of woman.
Estheuic girls never giggle. They merely
express their delight by dreamy, far-away,
| North-Pole smile.
If there is any good in man it is bound
to come out, but it should not come out all
at once and leave the man empty.
Cockroaches, it is said, have 5000 teeth.
As much as we hate the creature, we should
feel bad for cockroach with the toothache.
Prof Swing, says that"poetry arises from
the fact that men likes to see two things at
once" And yet all inebriates are not poets.
A magistrate once consoled a man who
complained that justice had not been done
him, by the remark that it was VERY lucky
for him."
A prim old maid positively declined to
attend regatta after hearing that some of
the competitors ''hugged the shore" and
that there were buoys in the water.
Professor. looking at his watch: GAS we
have few minutes shall be glad to answer
. any question that anyone may wish to ask. I"
Student: "What time is it, please?"
,, There resaid to be II, 600 one-legged men
in the United States. }0ne7legged men form
the most peaceful and submissive element OF
our population. They never kick.
eyes" said Miss Penn, 81 rejected Mr..
Hogg, nice fellow, but 1 couldn't have the
announcement of my marriage appear under
the headline Hogg-Penn.
as anybody waiting on you?' said polite
salesman to young lady from the country
] eyes, SIR" replied the blushing damsel
"rhats my young man outside lie wouldn
;. come into the store" sEas
| Inv frirlg lyn ln gao oh "a
r during the summer is because they can squa
1 down on the sand without feeling dreadful.
/ frightened that they'll get apinching-bug o
s grasshopper down their backs.
An editor says his attention was first draw
i to matrimony by the skilful manner in which
e a pretty girl handled broom. A brothe
e editor says the manner in which his wifi
1 handles broom is not SO very pleasing.
y Query.-Can the signs of lover indoat
! the size of his affection?
81 marry that fellown' exclaimed MIS-
J. Mtinice. "No! / would rather die than Law
u him-that is, il could get somebody else,
The wife of politician, who has an ey
for the main chance, keeps a scrapbdok {
.. all the mcomplimentary things prmte
a. about her husband, which is an index fc
al ready reference in seasons Of domesti
l. unpleasantness.
. NOT THE RIGHT MAN.
A plainly dressed man, who introduce
himself as Mr.. John Smith, strolled into
DOCTORS office, aud having explained h
symptoms, asked the doctor how long woul
it take to cure him.
The doctor who had treated the vistt
with every possible courtesy, replied;
= "You will require several years carefl
! treatment under my personal superviso
before you are perfectly well; but thinl
Mr.. Smith, you will be able to resume yor
c labors in the bank in about two months"
"Doctor you are fooling yourself. al
not Smith, the banker, but Smith, the stree
car driver.''
SIS that so? Well, my good fellow,
don't see what you came to see me 70
There is nothing the matter with you excel
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