Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1884-05-03
on The FLY.

''It's cold day when can't catch Ay, y
said the base -bailist, as he gently took hot
ore from his cofse.-N. Y. Journal.
The cashier of the bank at Newton, Ill,
lost the bank money ia corn options. Dear,
dearl how those corn doctors do charge, any
way.-Burlington Free Press
A poet says: Yesterday comes not" He
should tell something we don't know.
What We are looking for is the return of the
week before last.-Norr. Herald.
A Vermont editos in publishing one of
Gods!" to "Oh gosei'' because the former
was too profane for his readers--Bosson
Post.
.Oelt and Teuton.-Barkeeper: ssDot vine
vas hard to beat" Free lunch Irishman
(sotto voice): ''UnIess ye had club" Bar
keeper: ''Oh, if you had club. dot vas
different. You mide beat dot vine at a club. J"
-CoIumbia Spectator.
Four boys armed with pistols and dirk
knives were arrested at a railroad depot in
Jersey City the other day. It is strongly sus-
pected that they were looking for the trail of
that railroad man who it is announced has
invented "a new and improved switch. y
Binghamton Republican.
Do you see that man twisting in all sorts of
directions, and working his neck aud shout
ders as if there was hornet down his back?
He is net practising to become circus con
tortionist He caught bad cold, and his
wife has put porous plaster betTe bis
shoulder blades Portland Advertiser.
Wagner Concerts" are becoming the rage
in this country. The trouble with such con-
csrts is that about four-ffths of the audi
ence sit through the entire performance
wondering when the members of the orches-
ira are going to get through tuning up their
instruments --Norristown Herald
why, Mr.. Jonkins, I thought you were
in the hospital?" calculated pretty Wash
ington girl to her caller last night. "In the
hosrital?'' he querisd, with genuine State de-
partment infection. 'sWhy. papa said st
breakfast this morning that he never saw
man shoot off his mouth like you did yester-
day. Jonkins bad previous engagement
in a few minutes. Washington Hatchet.
Curious effect of ''perfumed vapor. Sew
eral year ego, upon an occasion OF free
passes-a press convenslon-the writer met
the youth in q back room of the louisville
Commercial Office Perfumed Vapor arose
from a large bowl, and the writer, looking
around, remarked 10 an acquaintance, Who
are those handsome gentlemen drinking
something over there by the windows these
gentleman who are now putting their elssses
On the tables?" THAT" replied the &c
sunday Argus" Closing one eye, the an
quirer saw the two men resolve themselves
into one man.-Arkansas Traveller.
sit was faxseed that ruined me-" hs said,
as he crossed bis legs and heaved sigh from
the bottom of his soul
You tried to make a corner. eh 2"
"Oh, no. was simply calculating on the
natural and average demand in the middle
States"
s'And did the price go down?''
t'Yes, 15 cents per bushel."
t'What was the causs Pr
sAlnost total lack of boils in the States of
Ohio Indiana, Michigan and Illinois that sea-
SOC, he calmly replied. 1.-THE number of
boils dropped from 750, 600 to three or four
old carbnncles and feIon or two, and I'll be
hanged if even those weren't poulticed with
corn meal to save expense. Wall Street
News.