davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-07-25
Symptoms by Telephone.

TIckleribs is a practical joker. but he
is very much afraid of consumption
The other evening he got to coughing
and went TO the telephone and called
up DIR. Whitcye. and told him he was
pretty sure he was in the first stages of
consumption. Now Tickleribs had
played agood many jokes on the girl
at the central station. so as soon rs she
heard what he said, she rung up a store
where "a young man was in the habit
of practicing on u bass horn about
that time,and she told him in her sweet
tone that she would like him to blow u
short. sharp blast right in front of the
transmitter of his telephone, rs soon as
he heard the bell tingle.
The young man got ready.
eOh! | guess you're mistaken" said
the doctor.
"No, | amt. Lose no time. Come
right v at once"
Hold on Cough in the telephone"
The girl who had been listening jerk
ed out the plug connecting Tickleribs.
put that connecting the bass horn In
its place, and tinkled the bell accord
ing to previous arrangement. The
young man dropped the receiver from
its hook and blew a terrible blast. The
girl Immediately restored the connec-
ton and the doctor, after recovering
his establishment, asked:
"Did you cough?"
"Yes. Amt it pretty bad !"
81 should remark" exclaimed the doc
tor.
"What shall / do?"
''Conine yourself to a diet of oats
and baled hay"
"Oats and bailed hay! What do you
mean 2"
"Why, you are turning to a iackass
very rapidly, and you had better begin
your new way of living at once. You
have symptoms of theconsumption of.
oats and baled hay"
While the doctor wondered. and the
patient raved. the telephone girl split
her sides with laughter, and the inno-
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-07-25
The Electric Light.

A European journal relates that a
few months since workmen employed
upon some constructions upon the bank
OF the river Dnieper, in central Russia,
employed the electric light to enable
them TO prosecute their labors ut night.
The brilliant rays of the light attracted
az many millions of nocturnal moths,
beetles apd other insects,that from time
to time 1t was necessary TO stop work
and set all hands 10 destroying the
clouds of winged victims that frequent
ly obscured the light. This suggested
the idea of employing the electric light
to destroy nocturnal insects prejudical
to agriculture, aud experiments in that
direction are to be tried. Not only to
insects, but TO fish, the light proved
fatally attractive. Its rays, directed to
the surface Of the water. drew together
vast quantities of all the fishes found
in the Dneiper, and when within the
charmed field of illumination they lay
crowded together in masses. seemingly
blinded and stupefed, the workmen, inn
proving, the opportunity made notable
haul of 6sh.-The Economist
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-07-25
An AstOnished chinaman.


A funny incident occurred ai Passaic.
There are several Chinese manglinR
establishments In the place where the
biasedeyed sons Of soapsuds convert
miniature button holes into 10 coal scut-
Tie proportions and swell their peri
pheriest 10 such dimensions that the
citizens are compelled TO toss up a cent
before deciding which hole 10 crawl
through when theY wish TO dress up.
One Of the local Nun Lungs recently
imported a b-anjo-featuTed assistant
from the fowery kingdom. in pure
Chinese his name sounds like a section
OF barbed wire fence. Ills clothes ct
him Ike sentry box ana, as is usual
with the delegate from Ratland, he
wears his oyeralls under his shirt and
dresses otherwise inside out. He evi.
IDENTIFY hadn't been in the country more
than a day or so before someone put
salt ON his plgtail, trapped him and
sent him TO fassaic. While the bossw as
around the corner purchasing AN on
ion for dinner Yum Yum stood in the
door of the grocery flirting with n BON
net. which somebody across the street
had placed on the top of a water pitch.
er, and which Yum imagined to be u
female sitting by the window. at last
the hat nodded in the breeze Yum bow
ed and then the corners of his mouth
shook hands with his ears and then
sauntered around to where his hair was
cut long.
"D'yez want any ice this morning."
asked the iceman AS he drove up.
"Alle samee." chuckled Yum Yum,
until he resembled u chicken with the
pip.
The man placed the Ice on the side
walk aud Yum grabbed 1t. Then he
laid it down without ANYBODY telling
him 10 and put both hands up to his
shoulders, in his mouth and danced.
Xxi, VI, muchy wetty hottee. he ejacu-
lated, as he ran inside, came out with a
shirt, wrapped the ice up in IL and then
disappeared inside again.
1.-Two minutes later the room was full
of smoke and kissing steam. and when
Wun Lung came around the corner
with his noon day feast in his hand
there was . crowd in front of the door
and several persons had started of to
notify the firemen.
Wung Lung dashed through the
smoke and found his fresh assistant
hanging out of the back window, lie
was almost ~sufTocated.
"Wasse mattel2" he asked.
MAN leavee Mclean Iii clackle. He
go off-booml"
"Whel puttee z" asked Van.
~"Stove," gasped Yum.
"Alle samee blank f%oolee," yelled
Wun.
"Allee wette. Puttee In s%tovee, dli.
Goee off~ee-bloongl'
There was danger of a conaagraticn
for q few minutes. but 1t was averted,
and Us Yum took the next train for the
city he said:
Funny HI clackle5 cookee all ppee-
boong. Alice wettee. Yumd dice. Stovee
sweetee-boong!" And he hid himself
in his pockets and left for New FORK
Exalunuo
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-07-25

open door of the bar-room. cut Of
which we could look down the noun
tain side. sam catapulted out o. that
door and hain't been seen since. One O
the boys said he believed the coon had
never stopped tin he got hack to 'ole
Alabama he used ter talk 50 much
about "Didn't YOU hnd out who the
stranger WASP" well. I should say
we did. His name was sullivan, a
p~rize-hghter from down east some.
where"
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-07-25

a. a Moderate cost. In producing the
largest single room. every part Of which
can be seen from any point. Of which
there Is any knowledge. The building
il ISIS feet long by a05 feet wide. and
covers thirty-Ihree acres. or eleven
acres more Than the Philadelphia Cen
tennial exposition of 1910 There are
i.6i630O square feet Of floor space. in
Guiding gallery. The reader mas form
a better impression Of the vast dimen-
sions of the structure by imagining
three ordinary city blocks one way and
Eve another. covered by 4 solid roof.
And. II he chooses TO allow his fancy
to carry him still further. he can pic
ture a monster panorama of the worlds
industry. extending before his vision
uninterrupted by 0 single object except
the supports.
The active commercial rivalry Of the
different sections is aptly shown by the
distribution of contracts for the ma
terials. The roof which will cover j.
100000 square feet. is being made at
Cincinnati. The window sashes come
from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The
glazing will be done by 1t. Louis par.
ties. Four thousand kegs Of nails are
being shipped from Wheeling, West
Virginia. Nine million feet of Missis-
sippi lumber will be consumed. A
massive group In bronze, typical of
America, To be placed over the main
entrance, is being made at Canton.
Ohig, rs are also u statute Of Washing
ton and Columbus, aud coats Of arms
Of all the states, which will appear IN
medallion form as part of the exterior
ornamentation. Finely modelled cor.
nices ate being made at New Orleans.
The building will be sixty feet high,
with Il tower $50 feet high, and the
architect has been fortunate In render
ing the exterior unique and attractive.
A platform will be erected on the tower,
reached 10y the elevators, from which
visitors may have an exceptionally fine
view of the city Of New ORIGINS. the
exposition grounds, the Mississippi riv-
er and the surrounding country. There
will be n line of gallery extending
around the entire circumference of the
building. 10 which visitors will be
carried by steam and hydraulic eleya-
tors, representing all the manufacturers
of these conyenances Is tins country.
Music hall is situated in the center Of
the building, will be 1874 feet wide, and
will comfortably seat 1900 persons.
A platform is being built for 800 must
clans. To light the building with in
candescent lamps will require $1,000
lamps, and 100 horsepower TO operate
the dynamo. The total steam required
for lighting and for the machinery hall
will be at least 5000 horsepower. In
this estimate is included the power for
five arc lights of $1,000 candle power
each, will light the grounds. These are
the largest single lamps ever construct
ed. The cost of this great structure,
lacking no single desirable feature for
the purpose intended. will only he
about 100000, and the other buildings
will be proportionally inexpensive.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-07-25
The New Orleans Exposition
Buildings.

The Boston Herald says that the
main building Of the New Orleans Ex-
hibition is in some respects the most
remarkable edifice ever built in this
country. 1t is much the largest expo
sition building ever erected in the
world. The architect has succeeded,
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-07-25
no. 16.

cent young man footed his horn igno.
rant Of what be had done-Through
Mail.
Omaha daily bee., 1884-10-11
Insurance Investments.

Mayor Vaughan in an interview with a
Sioux City Journal reporter, gives his fl
~nanclal theories at length, especially in
regard to selling the city bonds and says:
"One thing that will help would be a law
requiring Iowa insurance companies to in
vest in lowa'securities. Other states do
that way, and it makes a market for
home securities."
The little mayor should read up Sec
ton ll30. chapter 4, of the code which
provides that insurance companies organ
lzed under that chapter, hall invest their
capital and the funds accumulated in
bonds and mortgages On unincumbered
real estate within the state Of Iowa, or in
the stocks and bonds of any county or
incorporated city in the state. The very
law which the little mayor is 30 anxious
to have passed 80 as to help the sale of
city bonds, is alreay in tho statute books.
and has been for years.
Omaha daily bee., 1884-10-11
COUNCIL BLUFFS
ADDITIONAL LOCAL NEWS.


V. G. Baker, Charlton, is at the Pacific.
L. C. Baldwin returned last evening from
the west.
Geo. Il. Cole, of Pacific Junction, was in
tho city yesterday.
J.T. Baldwin and George Il. Wright have
gone to New York.
DR.. T. w, Mercereau, OF Chicago, was a,
the Ogden yesterday.
G. w. Hubbard, the Sioux Falls granite
man, was in the city yesterday.
T. A. Denton now leaves for Omaha, where
he will remain a few weeks.
o. p. McKisson and family have returned
from their eastern pleasure trip.
Miss S. ID. Rehse, the well known artist
has returned and expects soon to reopen hei
studio in this city.
Judge Il. r. Paige, of Chicago, is her,
again greeting friends, and making himself
comfortable at the Pacific.
Deputy Sheriff Traver, of Ainsworth,
Brown county, Neb., was in the city yester,
day. He brought a prisoner to Omaha, and
then run over to see how Council Bluffs was
growing.
j. +. Towns, one of the most efficient men
on the police force, has gone to Oskaloosa for
a brief vacation and to attend the wedding OF
his brother. During his absence Officer Kirk
will take his place.
H.. @. Cheyney, the southwestern passenger
agent for the Sioux City route, leaves to.mor.
row on a short vacation and trip to his old
home in Pennsylvania. This is the first vaca,
ton he has taken in three years, and he GER
tainly IN .rits one after the hard work and con,
tinual push which has characterized him.
Omaha daily bee., 1884-10-11
A Friend of Blaine,


II was an ancient meudicant
Adopted one Of three;
"By thy fat job and district pull
\ place | pray for me-
"And, prithee, what bold mendicant
Has lone to thus obtain
A berth so soft?' The other said:
~ am q friend Of Blaine
"a friend of Blaine? Doth prattle, fool!
A friend Of Blaine, forsooth!
/ fear me in thy narrative
Is not aword Of truth"
More, too" and as he spoke the tears
Sutfusei his blood-shot eyes.
"He promised when l saw him last
That l should have a rise. >"
at may not be, bold mendicant,
1t may not be- for we
DO fear we shall be pillaged
By the fiercs Democracee.
but here | give u dollar note
From my companions twain.
And here's another il thoult tell
just what was said by Blaine
Then spoke hat ancient mendicaut,
And he seemed full sore distrest;
And as he spoke he showed away
The dollars IN his vest.
''The last time Blaine conversed with me
Twas at his mansion door
A pretty spot know it well,
For I'd been there before.
"What did he say you ask ms, sirs;
His speech was true rnd pain;
You lazy rascal, clear away
Or I'll raise you, spoke Jim Blaine
Omaha daily bee., 1884-10-11

Two years now passed away, and the
following winter found Judge Thurston
and his daughter under the gentle skies
OF Florence. The Judge was suffering in
health, which, some said, was due to
Margaret's unlucky marriage. However
that was, the two were very dear to each
other and wete rarely seen apart
Several days after their arrival in
Florence Margaret met her landlady in
the hall, who, with a tray in her hand,
was just coming out of the room oppo.
site. Stopping to inquire if fanny one
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1884-11-28
THE FUTURE.

The Democratic party comes into
power at time when it will require
the utmost caution and the soundest
judgment to conduct the affairs of the
country in manner that will be salts
factory to the majority. The opposi
tion papers and leaders are putting ev-
cry possible obstacle in the way of the
new administration. They are endeav-
o,ing TO incite i'll feeling between the
white and colored races in the South,
and they are trying to stagnate the
business of the country by their un-
founded predictions of what the De-
mocracy will do when they get control
of the government. Among the many
foolish things that are predicted. are
that the negroes of the South will be
forced back into slavery that the pen
sions of Northern soldiers will be stop
ped that the debts of the Confedera-
cy will be paid that a free trade poll
cy will be adopted that will ruin our
industries, and much more of the same
sort. Unfortunately there are some
people who are credulous enough to
believe all this nonsense, and the feel
ing of uncertainty thus established by
the Republican party, helps to further
depress the already depressed condition
of trade.
But the country has the assurance Of
Grover Cleveland that under his ad-
ministration the rights of the people
will be respected, regardless Of color.
He favors civil service reform, and
promises that it will be the earnest en-
deavor of his administration to con-
duct public affairs for the best interests
of the whole nation. In recent inter
view he said
'No harm shall come TO any busi-
ness interests as the result of admins
trative policy so long as | am Presi'
dent / intend TO surround myself
with the best and broadest minds in
the party and then bend all my ener-
gies towards making an administra-
tion that shall at least assure every ele-
ment that transfer of executive con-
arol from one party 10 another does
not mean any serious disturbance of
existing conditions.
With a determined executive, and
even with the widest theroists IN the
House there could be no legislation
without the concurrence of Republi-
can Senate. But the House will at
tempt nothing that will not be for the
good of the country. The Democratic
Darty nlnst carry out the principle laid
down in It's platform it must keep its
promises il must show itself worthy
of the trrs, reposed i1 il and its com
t,etency TO conduct public affairs this
done, there can be no question as to
the future of this nation.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1884-11-28
Woe President Hendricks.
NEss EXISTING BETWEEN HIM AND
GOVERNOR CLEVELAND.

LANCASTER, Nov. 24.-The fast line
this afternoon carried among its pas
sengers Hon. Thomas A. Hendricks,
Mrs. Hendricks and Colonel Bannister,
of Indiana. Vice President Hendricks
was met at the depot by State Chair
man Hensel.
The vice president-elect looks very
well, and is in the best of spirits. He
ia hopeful of brilliant, successful and
popular democratic administration of
the government. He says he had a
very satisfactory visit east and most
agreeable journey to Albany and pleas.
ant conference with Mr.. Cleveland. He
authorized Mr.. Hensel to deny most
emphstically aud unqualiiedly the re-
ports printed in the Philadelphia Press
and other Republican newspapers of
rupture or unpleasantness between
him aud Governor Cleveland. On the
contrary, he said their relations, and
intercourse were entirely agreeable, and
in the highest degree satisfactory to
both. lie added that he expected mis-
representation aud Republican efforts
TO create Democratic dissensions, but
they would not succeed,
Colonel Bannister who had acompan-
led Mr. Hendricks TO Albany, confirm
ed what he said of the pleasant inter
view with the President elect, aud de-
nounced as utterly falsr all reports 10
the contrary.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1884-11-28

1t ia really astonishing how many
lunatics there are roaming about out
side of the institutions prepared for
the care of such unfortunates. Most Of
them are suffering just now under the
hallucipation that because the Demo
cratic party has wrested the govern
ment from the hands OF monopolists
and demagogues, the country is going
to the demnition bow Vows. AS time
passes on, they will gradually come to
their senses, when they discover that
the Republican party does not contain
all the brains and intelligence of the
country. 1t is mark of good citizen
ship to bow with submission to the
will of the majority, but the Republi-
can party has been making an exhibi
tion of itself ever since the election, by
its bigotry and arrogance, in the inpu-
dent assumption that no ore can
run the affairs of this nation but them
selves. We would suggest that little
ice on the head is good for a fevered
brain.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1884-11-28

and partisan activities The people OF
this country are resolved that the bust
ness of the General Government shall
be done on business principles, The
sooner politicians of the minor and ira.
ditional type understand that :hc wiser
they will be-. The sooner they under.
stand that Grover Cleveland il at one
with the people in that resolve the
wiser they will he. Politicians with
any claim to be considered statesmen
are aware of the fact already, both
with regard to the people and to the
President-elect. And it may be of a'.
sistance to curious or prophesying souls
to be assured that any conception of
reforms as good things for bats to
catch votes with and then as good
things to fling away or forget when
power is obtained is utterly foreign to
the mind Of the Presideut.elect He
il as single and sincere as he is deter
mined. and his determination has never
been questio o,ed by friend or foe.
A positive, industrious, frugal and
reforming administration is certain.
One prudent aud truly American 10 its
policy can be relied on. One which
will consult capacity, honesty and 10y
atty to the Constitution in its election
of agents can be confidently expected.
1t is not complimentary fact that a
people which have founded and pre-
served and expanded the Union and
made all men free and voters, find the
problems of business service anA hon.
est elections unsolved after nearly
century of organized government. The
solution of those problems, a4 related
to one another rs cause aud effect are,
will be the purpose OF the next admin
istration.-From Mannings Albany
1rQMs.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1884-11-28
Cleveland on the Future.
THE PREsIDENT-ELECT DEPRECATEs MIA
CHIEyOUs CRoAKINGs AND DARK
IMAGlNINGS.

Governor Cleveland WAS asked by
an Associated Press reporter recently
if he was aware of a delusion existing
among colored people of the South
that change in administration would
unfavorably affect their condition, to
which he replied
"Yes, | have been astpnished at the
statement that there was an apprehcn-
sion existing among the colored peo
pie that some way their rights now Sc
cured to them under the laws and Con.
sttuton of the Uoited States, were in
danger from the election of Demo
cratic President. | am even told that
some of them are led to suppose the re.
suit of the recent election means that
they may again be made slaves. All of
this has appeared to me to be 50 absurd
and | have been so sure that the slight
est intelligent reflection would dislodge
such foolish fears tina. can hardly
deem any notice of them necessary.
But there is not the slightest obi "ction
TO calling the attention of all who are
in the least uneasy or uncertain upon
this subject to the fact that the title If
colored people to freedom and all the
rights Of citizenship cannot be disturb
ed except by change in the Constitu-
ton which it would be absolutely i'm
possible TO make. Besides, the present
condition or status OF these people has
been 80 fully accepted by the entire
country that no one should have the
slightest idea that any attempt will be
made to change it if there was any
possibility of accomplishing such a
thing. So far as the new administrs-
tion is related to this subject the whcle
country can be sure that the lawful
power and jurisdiction of the Execu,
live will be so exercised that the rights
of all citizens. white or black, under
the Constitution or laws, will be pre-
served and protected all the advauta
ges to which they are entitled by rea
son of their citizenship will be secured
to them. There need be no fear that
either the Democratic party or its new
ly. elected administrative proposes tC
oppress or enslave any part of our pop
ulation, nor to destroy the business in
terests of the country, We hope OF
the other hand, to do something tC
benefit the people 1t seems to m'
that our efforts in that direction woulC
be aided if mischievous croakings an(
dark imaginings should give place t.
an earnest endeayor to inspire conf
dence and to make universal cheer
ful hope for the future