The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-09-19
WHY WE LAUGH.

A long face is generally a sign Of short
purse.
I,ositivs, cash: comparative, cashier; su-
perlAtivo, Canada.-N. v. Journal
Small fruits are so called from the size OF
the boxes they come in Yonker's States
man.
r"Were you ever caught In sudden squall?"
asked an old yachtsman Of q worthy citizen.
swell, guess sow replied the good man.
81 have helped to bring up eight babies"
'Tn what condition was the patriarch Job
at the end Of his lifep" asked q Sunday
school teacher Of quiet looking boy at the
foo: Of the class. "Dead, calmly remarked
the hey.
30 don't propose TO me herel" exclaimed
young lady, whose love was about to pour
out his avowal as they were riding by q corn
field. "The very corn has sars."-Burting-
ton Free Press.
"I haven't had bite for two days." plead
cd q tramp. sis 1t possible ?" answered the
woman, with sympathy. "I'll see what /
can do fer You in the way Of bite. Here
Tigs-- Trge-." The tramp broke 81 gate
getting away.-N. Y. Sun.
"And what part do you sing In the opera,
Alos u onc VI Iuc bOpThuoss
"I'm sorry TO hear that" "How so ?" "Why,
can't help thinking that II your voice was
as low rs your dress, you'd make wonder
ful contralto Chicago Netos.
Maud-"Isnt that queer title for book,
mother, Not Like Other Girlsr I wonder
what she can be II she Is not like other
girls9n Motber-"I don't know unless she
goes into the kitchen aud helps her mother
instead Of staying In the psrlor TO read nov
els."-Lye.
A young widow, In erecting monument
to the "dsar Departed" cleverly availsd her
self Of the opportunity 10 inscribe upon the
tomb: "Sacred TO the memory Of Msthusin
Rexuchet, who departed this life, aged 6S
years, regretting the necessity Of parting
from the most charming and best Of wo-
men,"
Bank cashiers sometimes 60 ter heaven er
der penitentiary, but i nebber heard o. one
goin' TO dc po' house. l don't know uheder
Satan eber piled for Q patsnt on de bass
drum, but / has an idee who vented It.
Good wedder for church-goin' 'pends mo- on
de milliner dan II docs on Dc moon.-Terds
Sytings.
"My DEAR" said wife who had been mar
ried three years, as she beamed across ths
table upon her lord and master, "tell me,
what was II that first attracted you to me?
What pleasant Characteristic did possess
which placed me above all other women In
your sightp" And her lord and master simply
said: ~ give 1t up"
order, and IL will be the easiest thing imag-
Unable, when . patriot gees home late at
night and his wife wonders "For mercy's |
sake, Charles, what makes you smell sof"
for the patriot TO explain "S'kerosene, dar-
(hic)lng; torshlIght p'session, y'know been |
breathing In IL (hic) all the evening.
ton Times.
A last will and testament lay In Q lawyers
desk near . duly executed deed, and was
talking 70 the latter. 81 played . joke on
old Quill this morning." It was saying ale |
came to this drawer locking for yea, but he
hadn't his glasses on, 90 crept out and he
took me out. And, do you believe II, he
carried me over TO the court house before he
discovered" "What?" "That ba had
taken the will for the deed."-RochesteY
Post. Erprsss.
MARRY ME, DARLIST, TONIGHT.
Ne darliAt, it's AKIN they are
That gees to the wars to be kilt,
An come back wild m illigant skhar,
An sabre hung on to hilt.
They offers promotion TO those
Who die In definse'o or the right.
I'll be of In the mornin'-suppose
Ye marry me, darlint, tonight?
There's aothia' 80 raises man,
In the eyes Of the wurld rs TO fall
Feminist the ould flag, In the yan,
Pierced through wild bit Of ball.
An whin I am kilt " can wear
Some iligant Grape on yir bonnit.
] list think how the women will Stharo
Wild hwy whenever ye don iti
Oh, fwat q proud wildly yen b.
minfion
The fact We ran live don't We Keep
All the rest OF our lives on me pinxisni
W w. Fink " ne Century y0r Sepf