davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-15

Information Wanted.


A City Hall official was about to de-
part for home and dinner the other day
when a stranger entered and intro.
duced himself as John Linden, and
added:
II presume you ore smart man, OF
You wouldn't be holding this position.
want to ask you question or two.
You own horse?"
"No, sir"
"Dont ehP If you did own one.
and he had symptoms OF poll-evil, what
would you dop"
{" cant tell, sir. l am Just going
to dinn>r."
"Yes, | know, but I've another
quest on or twoP Was Cleopatra a
married womanP'
II don't know, sir
"Don't yo"p That's bad for I've a
bet of three to one that You knew ali
about it, VIII, wei, let that pa $.
DO You think that Shakespeare lived
happily with his wife, and is there any
truth in the rLmor heard up on Mich.
gan avenue hah On hour ago that he
hated cats?"
"What do know about these
things!n exclaimed the official. "l
am in hurry, sirr'
$50 am J., but wait minute more
Let's see. Oh yes, | wanted to ash
you if it would be of any use to try t,
revive person who had been browne,
three days9"
"No, sir!'' shouted the official
"Wouldn't, ell! Sorry for that, 70
have a bet of ten to five that it woul
be. ST down minute while ask yo
another question. DO you believe tina
maternal instinct descends to fish
wormsp"
81 believe you are crank, sir, an
-r
"You do, ehp Then win bet {
twenty to five, and will never cease
be grateful. History tells us of th
youth"
81 am going homel"
"Certa My, and I'll walk up stree
with you History tells lis of the yout
who fired the Ephesian DOME"
F''I don't care--I don't care cen
sir"
Eyes, but what was his name, an
was the dome insurelP Did the fire d
partment come out, and was the yout
arrested on charge of incend arsmp
want your decisionp"
"Go pway-go off, don't wa
you!'i shouted the official, as he tried
outwalk the other.
s'You know. don't youp"
mo, sir-no, sir-go way fro
me-"
'You don'tp Then lose doubl
barreled shotgun on bet that you di
One more que tion."
The official rushed for car al
entered it, but the man walked aloI
beside it and looked through the wi
dow and said:
"What is meant by the term 'spo
taneous outburst? have fire luent
seen 1t in print, and thought I'd a
you to explain. "
A silver half-dollar changed hands
the car, and a broad-shouldered labor
jumped out and spit on his hands a
ran the in formation-s into han
ware store, where Ao had no sooner
covered his breath than he said to
clerk who came forward:
''rve always thought If | ever s
time TO call in here d ask you if it "
true that Henry VIII. invented Sa
to.a fried potatoesP'-DetroI p
Press.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-15
The Slim Mans lem ,rkaDle Shot.


A number of gentlemen were in the
lepot waitng-rOom admiring fine lot
If ducks friend had shot up on the lake,
md were somewhat surprised to hear
lim tell of killing three ducks with one
discharge OF his gun. About this time
slim, pointed-nosed man, who had
been Qu etly listening, remarked;
"That's nothing very eNtraordi-
aary."
MAY be that's the way you always
kill ducks" sarcastically remarked the
hunter.
"Wal, that depends on how load
my gun replied the i'm man.
"Then it does make difference how
you load, does it? lpresume you use
about peck of six ounce bullets re-
marked the hunter, who began to feel
that the glory with which he had COW
cred himself had melted and WAS begin
ning to run off
rival, now, don't YOU ret ratified. |
dou't know as III give the scheme
away retorted the slim man.
"How many ducks did you ever kill
In one shotP" asked an interested list
tener.
"Wal, stranger, I've killed and
strung over fifty OF EN-, y answered the
slim man.
Fifty ducks at one shotn' exclaimed
half dozen.
"Yes, over fit "" replied the slim
man, IAN | don't mind telling ye how
twas done, if ye really want to know. "
"How on earth could you do such a
thing, you must have been where the
ducks were thickP" ventured meek
looking individual.
"Wal, if yen give me chance III
tell We. / took a trip up to Calumet
several years ago and l never seen SO
many dncks in all my life. took IN
? old army musket along and one cart
, fridge"
: Zone cartridge!" exclaimed half 9
dozen. You didn't mean to say yor
only took one cartridge and no othel
, ammunitionP"
: "Wal, didn't take anything els,
but an old army musket, one cartridg
and big spools Of wire thread. That
the sum total of what always take
4 You see, /"
: "What was the wire forp" inquiries
b the meek man.
/ 'Wait till finish, hang it, and ye'I
know. Wal, when / got out on clea
IL water away from the rushes | saw abou
o million ducks right ahead of me.
Just took the end of the wire, fastene
it to the bullet in the cartridge al
II loaded my gun an put the spool on tn
bottom of the boat where | thought
, W uldn't become tangled up, and tn
l. waited for a good chance. l hal
pehed TO blow my nose, which of cour'
d made noise, when every duck raise
z his heai to see what was up. | drew
l. bead on the eyeinf the duck nearest
me and pulled the trigger ieIore Tho
l. had a chance to get scared. Schwi
" hos that spool did spin while the wi
* wa, unwinding. The-luck, flew ava
frightened by The no Sc of the gun, b
IN ad Just one hundred and fifty duck
er all strung by their heads on that wiz
id The bullet had gone through the
l. lea l., d agging the wire with it and
e. took every time excep ing one; it to-
le the tai of that duck ju't as he rails
from the water The bullet would ha
OF 90 more ducks only the spool 9
as caught before the wire was all unwuu
a ard 81 ppel t. ] believe il ha | h
go another cartridge and anot e. spool
The slim man found himself taxi
to the stove. The est lad fled, a
none but e remained. -Rct'S San.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-15
The oddities OfI.iGe.
ny WILL NJ, CLEMENS

You can't go frcm the cradle to tho
grave with II hop, spip and jump,
You must walk slow and sure.
There is no use talking, you cannot
reach the pinnacle OF fame in this
country without the use of whis-
ky or beer. Look at st. John.
A widows ball will take place in
Philadelphia in January. 1t is not
known what lucky man the widow
Butler will invite as her compan-
ion.
From the woodshcd to the kitchen
is hand road to travel, but two miles
over a rough country road is II lovely
walk to IL young man ~ho accom-
panies young lady home after
church.
Here is sample fashion item.
School girls hats are smaller than
hose worn 10y their older sisters in
ociety' Oh, dear, yes, and the
ackets Of small boys are made small
II than those worn by full grown
men.
Crows have advanced in price SO
Al ~
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-15

The other day an old negro who en
tered a doctors office, held q large tur-
tie under his coat md the ,mtc held
the finger Of the bearer
BOSS, Use come IN ter see el ser
kain't 'suade dis thing to turn loose
Ben on dar cher sense dis noTid
Cotch him downin de swamp an he
cotch me bout dc same tins
why didn't you XIII Iial4 asked
the doctor.
"Would cr done it, sab, bnt de
preacher whut ibis on our place ne
say it wuz bad luck, so thougot I'D
come ter yerse'l OATS right haakce
ssh. Uh, huh! finger done. Wh0tht
yer gin me fur dc turtle, buss?'-Ark
Traveller.
In 1874 the electoral vote Of Tenn.
was east against Polk and for Clay OH
il popular majority of 113 by tho Off
cia count. it was Folks native
State, and pride in the candidate and
party interest combined to make the
| struggle almost uneXamplcd IN des-
peratid, but no yell OF frapd WAS
, heard no allot-theif~wHs employ d
bv the Polk committee to cry fraud
: and then hunt for or invent 1t; but
the vote was imputed without the
4 attempt OF trickcry, technicality or
T. wrong. and President Polk manfnlly
y acquicsccd in the loss Of his State by
] ll3 votcS.-Times.
Prosident-elcct Cleveland will be
forty-eight years old on March 1S-
= fourteen days after his inangura
ton.
Judging by the number Of times thu
- command "bnrn this !, tier has beer
= obcycd during the past few week'
there will be no old epistle from whirl
posterity can gather history--Ex
. change
'g MI Blaine may yet live to write tn
ed history Of Twenty Years Of a Demo
OF cratic Congress. '--Ex.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-15

1t IS asserted that i0G,UJO ne rross
in the United States Are Roman Cath
al.cs.
Tw nty thousand dollars is offered
the Hougiton seminary. at Clinton, n.
Y. BY gentl man, If the school is
turAed nto female college.
4 ere are over 10o, go Welsh fami-
lies in this country. Of within half at
enl We.sh services There are n,0W
members AMI i20 min slers Of Welsf
oper gationsl Churches in the CniteI
y aftsS
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-15
A Libel Engraved on a Tombstone.

Philander Finley and Mart Beggs, Of
Marshall Texas brought suit against j.
S. Potter and j. A. Tipping for libel in
two cases. The suits are for s., 900 in
each case. The facts connected with the
cases, as near as could be gathered, are
as follows: Potter's son, with Finley
and Beggs, went bathing in the Black
water, a small creek south of town,
about one year ago, and young Potter
lost his life by drowning. No oone knows
how it happened except Finley and
Beggs. The boy Is father accused Finley
and Beggs Of the murder Of his son, but
in no way conld he prove it on them.
After the boys body was recovered and
buried properly Potter came to town and
procured tombstone FROM j. A. Tipping
and had him erect it over the grave Of
mis- sou, bearing the following inscrip-
| ton:
| "Rock Of Ages cleft for me,
| Let me hide myself In thee"
Drowned by Philander Finley and Mar
Beggs."
Finley and Beggs make exception t.
Ghe above and hrough. suit as aboy'
stated. The jury returned a yer1ic
against defendants for $500.
, 1884-08-20
The title "'Khedive."

The following extractfrom "Hughes's
Class Book Of Geography" explains
the meaning and origin of the title OF
the present ruler of Egypt =
EGYPT is nominally a province of
the Turkish Empire, but the Khedive,
rs the present ruler is styled, is virtu-
ally Independent.
Mehemet Ali, the founder of the
present dynasty, having in 1911 mas
sacred the MameIukes at Cairo, and
thus made himself absolute ruler of
the country, revolted from Turkey,
and in 1880 his son, Ibrahim Pasha,
invaded and conquered Syria. Syria,
however, was restored to the Porte,
but the succession to the throne of
Egypt was made hereditary. The
Sultan's authority in Egypt gradually
declined, and in 1866 the title Of
"Khediv-el -Misr," or King of Egypt,
was granted to the Pashs. In 1873
the Khedive obtained the right of con
Guiding treaties with foreign powers
and maintaining an army, SO that he
is virtually an Independent sovereign.
The suzerainty Of the Sultan, however,
is still acknowledged by the payment
of an annual tribute of E720, 900"
, 1884-08-20
4 USEFUL SER WANT.

Mrs. Limoges is very bric-a,brac in
her tastes, but is not very ready to pay
her bills. The other day the grocery
man called
"Can l see Mrs L. :" he said to the
servant.
''Wha do you want 7"
"Pve got a bill here for some groce-
ries she bought last MONTH
"Only a month old ?" asked the
girl in surprise.
"Ain't that old enough -
"No, sir, it is not. Mrs. Limoges,
I'd have you know, is q lover Of the
antique, and should she see a bill only
a month old, she would have a fit OF
nervous prostration."
"Well, that beats everything. When
shall | come :"
ooh, sometime in the future. The
older the bill gets the better but don't
you ever dare to come around with
any of those vulgar new bills, that
the stains of time have never touched"
and she slammed the door in his face.
Cork Weekly News.
, 1884-08-20

lbs, but at the special request of the
United States authorities, it was in
creased to 88lbs., the steel proiectiIe
used being 400lbs. in weight. Only
one shot was fired, and it struck the
centre OF The plate, which bore the
tremendous conclusion in a most sa-
tiSfactory manner, Contrary TO ex-
pectation, no assures were developed,
an examination of the surface only
revealing six fine hair cracks. The
hardened head Of the projectile buried
itself in the plate, the remainder
being shattered, but whether it pene-
trated this cannot be definitely ascer-
tanned until the target has been un-
bolted and taken down. The result
however, is officially regarded as high
ly favourable, because in actual a
fare the shot would not have done
any serious injury, its point remain
ing firmly embedded in the metal,
and leaving no hole on the exterior.
Indeed, it is understood that the
American Government will now ac-
cept plates manufactured by both
firms without further trial. The Unit
ed States Legation was represented Mt
the trials by Captain Chadwick, naval
attache. Mr.. Alexander Wilson was
present on behalf of Messrs CammeIl
& Co.; and J. D. Ellis for Messrs
John Brown & Co,-SAc6ieM hide
pendent.
, 1884-08-20
Testing Sheffield Plates as
Portsmouth.

Under Admiralty orders the Off
GERS of the gunnery ship Excellent
conducted an important armour plate
test at Portsmouth, yesterday, 1lth
July, on behalf of the United States
Government. The composite plating
required for the turret of the Ameri-
can wal ship Miantonama has been
ordered from Messrs Cammell & Co.,
Limited, and from Messrs John Brown
& Co., Limited, Sheffield. Each tuA,
ret plate experimental upon was sup
piled by Messrs C'ammell & Co., and
measuring six feet by eight, was III
inches thick, being manufactured on
the Wilson principle. Instead Of be-
ing placed in the customary frame it
was bolted in the packing of the bat
terry deck of the target ship Nettle,
while the test was of an exceptionally
severe character. A 10 inch breech-
loader was the gun used, loaded ten
yards from the plate. The ordinary
powder charge for this weapon is 70