The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-02-15
SPECIAL CORRESPONDENCE
i.t OF THE TIMES. 10 f.,l

Ii was last Summer, IN the month
o! August, as near as this deponent
doth remember, wnen the waters
nearly covered the face of the earth.
The weather machinery was all out
of order, and was having a go as you
please race. Prof. Tices predictions
were Incapable of an Interpretation
to cover all occasions; and old prOba-
blitles slower lake regions would
have been equally applicable to Cen.
trail Abysynnia. Our local Calico
asserted that some certain plants
were in perihelion, and the electrical
disturbances were simply terrible.
Under such circumstances the gran
ger was extremely gloomy. After
many days the water began to recede
and with it, receded the granger's
gloominess. simultaneously with this
there appeared dove, perhaps sent
forth to see about dry land or maybe
not; we Incline to the latter opinion.
This dove appeared IN the form Of a
life insurance agent. Now this guile
less one unfolded a scheme in secret,
to few of the chosen ones. This
scheme was beautiful, grand in its
comprehension. }-sai
The dove said to these, shave you
net some friend you wish insured ?"
by answering some question concern
ing this friend, paying small policy
fee, and should your friend live GER
tain specified time after this you will
receive three thousand dollars, upon
proof Of their DEATH"
This proposition was dazzling.
Then these chosen ones Lethought
themselves of some aged relative,
who few slight jars would break
the golden band and to say least
the silver cord was not firmly fasten-
ed. "Would these toothless old dar-
lings do ? Would they be fit subjects
for insurancc?" They asked the dove
inquiringly. "Most certainly they
would, we make a speciality in just
such cases." was the doves answer.
These innocents reasoned among
themselves that there was a market
for all kinds OF stock and that drovers
bought both young and old and it
was perfectly reasonable that an in
surance Co. should handle the aged
and decrepid. Visions of wealth
rolled before their eyes. hal ,ne'.a
In due course of time they payed
their money and received their poll
cy upon their aged friends. This pol
icy was certainly work of artistic
design, that made the holder happy.
GA thing Of beauty is a joy forever"
they reflected. Virtue shall have its
reward after these many years, when
all must die like fat sheep, as noted
devine once stated it, you will be val
liable men nyour death. That great
red seal on the formidable document
settled the matter, and our informant
does not say whether the poem, "what
can an old man do but to die" was
in demand or not.
Following the delivery of these
mysterious policies there was Pc
riod of general rejoicing. t.f
A feeling of exhilervation that a
way to obtain wealth had been dis
covered. chat far surpassed even the
most visionary greenback schemes,
the happy possessors Of these docu-
ments looked down in. disdain upon
those persons who happened not to
possess an appendage in the form OF
an aged ancestor. yi w
But why will people be suspicious ?
"'Tis folly to be wise where ignor-
ance is bliss" But in an evil day
one man more wise than his fellows,
found out that he had been duped.
Suddenly insurance stock in aged per-
sons fell, l,-tumbled,-N. P. X. K. stock
was nowhere to it. Less happy but
much wiser, they will live to despise
life insurance agents, and strike a
; general average by charging their in
surance experience to their education-
al fund.