The daily Cairo bulletin., 1884-08-05
WIT AND HUNIOE.

worth,
Her eyes were Iustrous her checks afiamc---
'Oh, what Is this wo my frame withinY'
Ana the west WIND sobbcd TO her strained
"You Lave eaten too heavy of tar.rapin."
Some rise with the lark; others get
up when the steam whistle blows. Real
comfort is found in lying in bed until
one feels like getting p,-NeI0 orleans
Picay,He.
A time OF war develops the soldier
qualities in an officer. Peace at
frontier post shows how many time he
viii duplicate his pay accounts and
ask for leave Of absence.
Who wrote the most, Dickens,
Warren, or Bulwer? Warren wrote
"NOw and Then; 'Bulwer wrote "Night
and Morning. and Dickens wrote "All
the Year Round. '-Dyy Goods Bul!e-
hR
The dog is not much below mankind.
and is certainly to be congratulated
rather than cOmmiserated on one THING
he doesn't have to send his collar to
the laundry every week, -Lo,0aH Cti-
zen.
The recent panic in Wall street was
not caused by speculation. 1t was
brought by the wives of the Wall
Streeters attempting to buy all the
jngredients for cooking the household
recipes published in an enterprising
evening paper
For the first time in twelve months,
boys are beginning to have clean faces.
They don't wash them. They unayoid-
ably come in contact with clean water
while they are in swimming. Louis.
vile Courier journal.
An Oswego paper described fire by
saying that the red flames danced in
the heavens, and flung their fiery arms
like q black funeral pail, until Sam
Jones got on the roof and doused them
out with a pail Of water '-IeIaS Syt-
iRgS.
Some young woman OF town in
Western Massachusetts thinks of or
ganizing an association for the pro-
motion Of co-education. The motto on
their corporate seal will be: "If a
girl wants to be a fellow with other
fellows, let her do it"
A Chicago chemist testifes that he
bought whisky at fifteen different
saloons and did not find pure article
in the lot 1t makes a great difference
whether man analyses the stuff on
the spot or takes it home and analyses
it.-BurlRg.on (Fl) Free Press.
When you take a couple of dozen
wire window-sereens, and attempt to
adjust them in the sashes, it is always
the last screen you try that fits. There
is only one scrsen, come to think of it,
that fits first, and that is the last one;
and that is because there is none to
follow it-Pucb.
Where in the world have you been?'
demanded a wife Of her husband. Its
nearly 3 O'Clock in the morning Il
know (hic) it is, my dear But can
not tell lie. I've been working at the
office" "Well, can tell lie, she
replied, sharply, 1.-THE moment | hear
it, and" Then the fur flew. -NeU
York sum-
"What a beautiful Girl that is!' ex-
io",""Yan nav we'll cali # rare " ynt i,r
tcra! Mrs +. ,.Tt certainly is not waiI
dore " Hnsbond and wife NAV 6o ono
in avery other rnaorJ. hnt whan tbey bn.
l,;n % dt:cYssina onotbor r,nan,, ga"I
ioots yon Wit fni Two onininns H0y.
fan TSan,cr.ot ~ y ''
va w. I.a,,, M tm,,,, - s,,,,,.., ,.,,,.,......,
" 4e'', t,oIi, q loleI5 Il ooIIe1 'p"u-
en-. 5'',,' =, I, "o'n neCIoPoiIs L n"s oeen
iouH, ,i, ,rd t, "PPU",I W , n"'0 GTcn 2i 1 'o,.
H'"l'} t"o 'iou'''lit o's'S' M': |2au
"ouIt Hn'o I'o''D.l io"Iu ms io5'
n'.'o2J';. t''"G'' .I o"i '..I u HI u"u "E-
Vt. '-S'u , - ~ ] .i-o Co'1,ii .,9 VI !" u"IJ
I"p.t.' p. ,,n "a" ~ JIg.e4 ~ i 'o''"'i' ''"
-'',, ''.,,o'' ~. ''.'''
A maIcIou, Coy created a pane IN a
Monlreal hnlel one day recently 10y
thIusIIng ms mead INTO the dining
room ana c9Ihh< oul: "Here comes an
olllcer from New ORR with warrant.
II was several nours before some oi me
most nervous guests couLd oe persuade
ed 10 come OUT OF the woods ana re-
turn 10 theIr mea"