davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

THERE are all sorts of clocks. but 4 new in
ventiOn is badly needed. IL is one that, IN
stead Of striking at IL y. m, will pick up a
dilatory lover and fire him ont the trent door.
clock Of this description would make for
tune for the inventor, as there are probably
100000 American fathers who would buy
e.-Phladelphid Chronicle Herald.
SEASIDE HOTEL MAN-"Well, l declare
What Is that?" Newly Arrived Guest-"That
is mosquito netting. Very handy to pin over
the bedroom windows, you know. l suppose
you have mosquitoes here?" "a few; out
that is only cotton stuff" "Of course; you
would not have il Of silk, would your" Ser
tainly not" ''Then, what are you surpri ed
att What should it be made OFF," ''Iron.'-
Philadelphia Gail.
THE small boy sometimes catches on by in
stinct. In Pearl'street, the other day, as two
Of them stood looking into window, one of
them observed: Oregon Improvement and
'.Naw, that's old" what improyemt mt is
navigate to?' Cant tell" SAY. Bill" re-
marked the little one, after turning the name
over IN his mind little longer, I've got it
It's an improvement in the way of navigating
the stockholders out of their cash!'- Val
Street Yelcs.
"WELL, Uncle Rube, how have you been
since you come to live down here on the
river?" poly, master, poly" You are
not used to living in such an OUt-of-the-w way
place, Uncle RUDE. You are suffering from
'em. Use suffered wild 'em mighty bad.
marster. I had disrecommembered de name
oh de misery | knOwed it want malaria, or
rheumatic. or sOmehng o dat kind. You
struck it de fust clatter. sab. Got qua'ter
bout you, sab, TO buy some isolation medi-
cine?'-TesaS SJtiRgs.
IN the midst of the engagement, when the
air was lurid with screaming shot and burst
ing shell. the Admiral on board the American
flagship Invincible heard a crash on the port
bow, and felt at the same time slight shock.
He called to the quartermaster: "Was that
termaster saluted: "NO, sir" he said, sit
was Jersey clamboat" ''All hands aban-
don the ship" ordered the Admiral, with the
calmness OF despair. for he knew that all was
lost. In % minutes the Invincible lay safely
at the bottom of the sea- where the clamboat
trOubleth no more.-Burdette, in Brooklyn
EGgle.
RESTAURANT proprietors are not always bad
masters. ''Herep' called a man, making an
impatient gesture which quickly brought the
beefsteak / ever saw" 'Whut's de matter
wId it, boss, amt it healthy?" "Healthy I!
why 1t was fed on the Banting system-all
muscle and no fat. Can't you bring me a
better pieceY" mo, sab: dat's de bes' ives
got" 81 saw boy go through here just now
with the finest kind of a steak" Yes, sab.
but dat was fur de cook" For the COOKE
''Yes, sab. Yves sorter behind wild de cook
wages, sab. and we haster feed him well ter
keep him from leabin us in de lurch. Come
'roun' some time when wese squar' wild de
genne man an We'll feed yer in great shape,
sab. '-Eec6dnge.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
BoLTING FROM BLAINE.
A Republican Grand Army Man Fires
Hot Shot Into Blaine and Logan.

Hot Shot Into Blaine and Logan.
The following letter, says an Albany,
n. Y, special to the World, has been sent
by Mr.. G. H. Hunt, member of the
Grand Army of this city and we'll
known Republican, to friend, also a
member of the G.. a. r..
DEAR SRI have been known to you for
many wears as a most uncOmprOmlslng Re
publican, and ] am now going to surprise you
by stating that for the first time In my life l
cannot support the nominations of the Re
publican party. If there is any organization
in the world to which am attached it is the
Grand Army of the Republic, and when l see
that they are trying to use 1t for
purely political and partisan ends, |
believe 1t is time for an honest
Grand Army man to rebuke such attempts
to lead us like cattle to the shambles by either
voting against the candidate or not voting at
all. There is another reas0n-two in fact.
Our party has nominated a man for Vice
President whose record as a Grand Army
man is not very credtable to our organiza-
tor. He was virtually expelled because he
thought so little of it as not to pay his dues.
Then, again. for the first place on the ticket
our party has named man who has been
assaied as corrupt by the very best elements
in that party; and this very day there is no
Republican paper or orator to offer the
slightest defense to the charges brought against
him. Therefore, for this election at least, l
shall vote for the reform Goyernor-GroYer
CLEVELAND
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
30 90

Registered az fhs Post O1Eos IA SIraaaaA a.
Ecc7ld Cl1ss Nal N1tter.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
Saw His Son.

ooh. by the way" he said, after ex
changing salutations with a New Eng
land bank President, 81 saw your son il
Paris just before / sailed"
''Y-e-s."
cover on bank business, presume"
eyes: it was connected with the bank
E'Had plenty of money!
"Oh, yes.D
"HejIl return feeling like new fellow
Tell you, such trip braces a man up"
YES; 1 know. Good morning.
"Wonder what aiIs old Grimes, to CARR
such a serious face" queried the return
tourist of a friend on the next square.
ooh. YOU don't know, of course. His
son skipped out with $4,000 about g
month ago, and the old man has had tt
make it good. Be careful TO avoid speak
ing of the young fellow if you meet the
old man.v
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
His Sensitive Wife.

A woman is far more sensitive than a
man. She has finer feelings and more
delicate mind. There are very few men
who realize this, and in consequence
woman is made to endure much unnnec-
essarv suffering. One of our merchants
was going to church with his wife on
Sunday morning, when she suddenly
stopped and put her hand to her head.
''What's the matterp' he asked, startled
nv the look on her face. stOhl l have got
on nv brown hat" 'sEhp' calculated the
astonished man. She burst into tears.
"What, Martha, what is the matter with
yOu?v he demanded. "Don't you see
what is the matterp she returned, in a
sobbing voice. t'l've got on my brown hat
with my striped silk. Oh, what will
people say?'
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

A startling story is going the rounds
about a slave girl. the property Of veal
thv Cuban family, having been sold at
saratoga. n. Y, last week. the bill OF sale
being misdated Havana" 1t is stated
that the girl is a good looking maiden of
% wears Of age, and that the purchaser is
a wealthy bachelor who wishes TO present
her to his bride, to whom ne IS shortly 10
be married at the Cuban metropolis No
excitement appears to be caused at Sar-
atoga by the hundreds Of girls who are
taken there every year by their parents to
be negotiated to the highest bidder IN the
matrimonial market. The story OF the
Cuban slave sale, however, is most prob
ably a canard.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
state Politics.

Messrs. Hawkes. and Adderton are Sumter
cOunty's legislative nominees.
Scriven county has twenty four candidates
announced through their county paper, for
Representative.
Newton correspondence NEWS Sept. 2: J
W. Thayer was unanimously nominated for
the lower house to-day.
The race for the office of Ordinary of Lau-
rens county, between Judged. n. Duncan. the
present incumbent, and X. II. Walker, prom
ises to be quite lively and spirited.
The Democratic Executive Committee OF
Campbell county met in the court house last
Tuesday and called a convention, to meet in
Fairburn on Monday, Sept. Is, to nominate a
candidate FOX REPRESENTATIVE, and also five
County Commissioners, the convention to be
composed of ten delegates from each militia
dlcfr .inf In the
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

A distinguished London scientist says
the presence Of normal. healthy sewage in
drinking water is not injurious to health,
its only effect being to cause those who
drink il 20 become fat. While there Is no
doubt about the presence Of sewage in
the Savannah pump water, there are few
who believe tor the normal, healthy kind
No doubt some may grow fat who drink
IL, but most people are so skeptlcal on
the subject to prefer to grow fat on pork
nn.l hams
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

A Cincinnati newspaper in cOngratu-
lating the city over the results Of the riot,
saws: "Our Jail full Of condemned muir
derers do not seem to meet with the SYM
patty usually bestowed upon that class.
Where are the gushing girls with their
bouquets and JelIies and pound cakes for
the poor, prosecuted burkers and WIFE
murderprs and son-sIayers who are about
to be cruelty hungg' No doubt the gush~
ING girls Of the kind mentioned are still
there. but they do not wish to be sub
mitted TO public indignation or ridicule
by openly liOnizing criminals as they
once did.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

The Democratic Convention Of the Fifth
Congressional district did short but re-
markably good days work yesterday in
the denomination Of Hon. Nat. J. Ham,
mond. Mr. Hammond is a man Of sta
biIity Of character, man of brain, man
of polish, and he is a tried and true public
servant. He was nominated, no doubt,
without any intention to vindicate his
course or to reward him for what he has
done. but for the purpose of securing his
services for the country generally and his
own state and people particularly. Mr.,
Hammond is a statesman, and statesmen
are needed at Washington. He will be
sent back to the next Congress by a large
majority.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

A bogus sleight-of-hand performer will
generally be egged out Of a town in
twinkling, while the swell defaulter will
frequently be lattered and hOnOred. tits
hard to convince some people that the
biggest scamp is the meanest scamp.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
Descending to DaIzelI.

HUTLTVFtI I|CITIsIs
John G. Whittier is old, and seems to be
falling into his dotage. Unconscious of the
fact that the better class of Republicans are
everywhere regulating the writer of the
MulIigan letters. he is actually, at nearly a,
writing Blaine campaign songs Applying TO
him his own words, written thirty-four years
ago of Webster, his friends can say: Let us,
in memory of old days" and "once great
NAME"
"Walk backward, with averted gaze,
And hide tho shame ~
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

1t is hard for the Republicans to realize
the fact that the city Of Burlington, VT,
where Senator EdmUnds resides, went
Democratic Tuesday, especially as the
Democrats had not achieved a victory
there in thirty years. Stranger things
than this wilIhappen before tn e campaign
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

Secretary Frelinghuysen's son has dis
tinguished himself by bringing home with
him from Mexico some seeds Of the cele-
brated jumping bean. There are many
avenues in which to achieve greatness in
this glorious country.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
CIeveIand's Tariff Stakes.

twas stated last June that Prof. Perry, who
is one of the most conspicuous free trade
champions, had written to prominent Demo
crat at the capital saying he had direct assur
auces from Gov. Cleveland of his full concur
renee with Carlisle and Morrison. There was
no ambiguity or equivocatiOn about this state
ment; it rested upon ample Democratic au-
thority; and it has never been denied or chal-
lenged.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
BRIGHT BITS.

1T is singular fact that the more Cuclean
the political canvass is, the more soap" there
is used, and vet the more soap is used the
more unclean the canvass becomes.-IeSGa
SiffiagS.
THEY were sitting on the porch OF the
Grand Union ut Saratoga. Are you fond Of
works Of art. Mr.. BrowneS" she asked
very" he replied, gazing Mt her with undis-
guisej sdmiratiOn.-Nelo York Sun.
THE girl Of the period is quite a sportsman
IN her way. She knows that the arrangement
81 her halr is a telling charm with the unwary
adOrer; and, like the hunter, she bangs away
until she brings her prey to her feet.
"What are the wild waves saving,
Sister, the whole day long2'
Why, probably they're praying
For relief from the campaign song.
~ 80 Ia s.,l.II
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
A Clever scheme

Said Jones: ''We're going to run Blif-
kins for Judge this fall" Said Smith
ssBlifkinsl What does he know about
lawg' ssNothing at all. He never saw a
law book. That's the reason we are
going to run him. We think that if he Is
Ignorant OF law we may get little jus
tice.v
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
This Not a Good Year.

Nobody, 20 far as heard from, stayed up
very late last night to hear the election re-
turns from Vermont. The Green Mountain
Republicans never worry the public by leav-
ing any door open for doubt. In good year
there are ab0nt 7C,0O0 votes, all told, in YER
mont, and the Democrats have about $1,000 Of
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
Some Typical Republicans.

Gen. Neal Dow is mentioned as Mr.. Blaine's
Minister of War" We'll, Dow is a good
enough General to figure as Minister of
War; IN Cabinet that is not at all likely to
materialIZe How would keifer do for ''Min-
ister of Financef" And who will object to
Robson for Minister of Marines"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
LrNCoLN,s MODEL LETTER.
LincOIn's Letter of Acceptance of the
Rennhlican Nomination in 1850.

LincOIn's Letter of Acceptance of the
Republican Nomination in 1860.
SPRINGFIELD, ILL, May %, 1S60.-SIR
L accept the nomination rendered me by
the convention over which you presided
of which am formalIXapprised in let
ter of yourself an sssefs acting as com.
mittee of the CON 6tion for that purpose
The declaration principles and senti
ments which S~sn6ARanies your letter
meets my approvai~aAld it shall be my
care not to violate it or disregard it in any
part. Imploring the assistance of Divine
Providence, and with due regard TO the
views and feelings of all who were repre-.
scented in the convention, to the rights OF
all the States and Territories and people
of the nation, to the inviolability of the
constitution and the perpetual union,
harmony and prosperity of all, am most
happy to cooperate for the practical sue.
cess of the principles declared by the
convention. Your obliged friend and fell
Iow-citizen. ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
Hon. GeOrge .AShnlan, President of the
Republican Convention.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

Gov. Bate, DemOtax nominee for
Governor OF Tennessee, " MS canvass
ing the state jointly with Judge Reid
his Republican opponent, has already
badly ratified him.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

The Emperor Francis Joseph, of Aus
tria. has been good enough to reply to an
address presented to him by deputation
Of Hebrews by saying: every loyal and
patriotic citizen, OF whatever religion,
may always rely upon my favor and the
protection Of my government" While
these words Of the Emperor may not mean
as much as they would seem to imply.
they are indicative of the liberal tendency
Of the age. A few years ago the word
''citizenv was hardly recognized by Euro
pean mOnarchs. The people were merely
the sssubjects' of the sovereign.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

Neither Mr.. Blaine nor Gen. Logan vol
unteered to read the Republican platform
pledge 10 the workingmen 10 the Hooking
valley rioters. They were evidently afraid
the thing was too thin.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
CURRENT COMMENT.
The Noble Protector of Labor.
W., YoyE World fDofa.N

Blaine was one Of the stockholders of the
original company which mOnOpOlzed the coal
business in the Hooking valley Of Ohio. and
brought about the oppression OF the miners
which led to the present strike. He is a noble
CT izen to pose as the special champion and
protector of American labor.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

An exchange says Ben Butler i to poll
tfcz what cholera is % other infections.
II this is true. why don't the authorities
take steps TO quarantine or disinfect him
without delavs
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

The assurance is given by the Mudir OF
DongOIa thai Gen. Gordon has a sutici-
ency Of provisions 10 sustain his com
mand until the middle OF October. By
that time Lord WOlseley may reach
Khartoum with the relief expedition
il he conducts the advance with celebrity
and care. As the Mahdi has probably an
immense army at his disposal by this
time. it will not be surprising if the Eng
fish forces have some warm work before
them. Lord Wolseley would do well to
keep before his minds eye the fate Of
Hicks Pasha and his command.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

Tea is probably going UP higher yet,
and hOusekeepers can charge their IN
crease Of expenses on that score 10 the
aggressive foreign policy Of the French
RenuhlIc.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

The death Of Secretary Of the Treas
ury FoIger. removes one Of the least OBJ
iectiOnable and most amiable members OF
the Cabinet. The administration Of his
Office has been free from peculation and
scandal. There seems 70 be little doubt
that Assistant Secretary Coon will be ap-
pointed 70 i'll the vacancy. As the admin
istrati0n Of President Arthur, and, per-
haps. the dominion Of the Republican par
". are very near their end, there would
appear TO be no indUcement for the max
Ing Of a mere political appointment to the
Office
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

Magnetism appears To be at discount
in New England since Miss Lulu Hurst
and the earthquake visited that part Of
the Union.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

The altitude of senator Conklins's chin
became sublime when the Republicans
talked about sending him 10 the senate
again.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

The large feeling towns are again be-
ginning % raise bowls for elevated rail-
roads. Boston thinks il cannot get along
with less than three.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

Senator Plumb, of Kansas, predicts
$4,000 majority for Blaine in that State,
Notwithstanding the St. John movement.
The New York EUeRiRg Post says he has
the "courage Of his imagination" 1t
would be better to say that he has the
courage Of his prevaricatiOn."
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
AS Compared with John L.
Neao York Clipper.

"Pa," said a Boston urchin of S..
"couldn't Daniel Webster knock out Sui
livan in three rounds? The Boston
father did not look surprised as perhaps a
New York father would, but said: "Not
much, my lad" "Was Dan an n. g. slug
ger, pap "Daniel Webster wasn't a
slugger at all, my boy. What are you
talking aboutr' ''He wasn't a slugger
What did that man you were talking with
call him the great eXpoundeP for thenH
Why suffer with Malaria2 Emory's
Standard Cure Pills are infallible, never
fail to cure the most obstinate cases
purely vegetable, contain no quinine.
mercury, or poisons of any kind; pleasant
to take, sugar-coated. All druggists. %
and 30 cents,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

L q. GOODHICH Northern Advertising
Manager ~ DAILY MORN1SG NEVs anu
TrrErY news. sun Building. New lork-
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05

The non-explosiye lamps Of the period
are again making an effort to push their
score OF fatal accidents up even with that
Of the ssnOt loaded" firearms.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05


Ten lines make q square, line averages
seven words. Advertisements. per square,
o1e Insertion 81 Qo- two insertions, 81 50:
local or Reading Notices double shove rates.
Reduced rates on continued advertiser euts.
Amusement advertisements 81 50 per square
Auction advertisements. Marriages. Funerals.
Meetings and Special Notices 81 90 per
square each insertion.
Wants, BOariiaE. For Rent, Lost and Found.
JIG cents . line. No advertisement inserted
nader these headings for less than - cents
Special rates for weekly Nescs.
We 10 not insure the insertion OF any aver
tlsement on any specified day or days. nor
40 we insure the number o. Insertions
within the time require by the advertiser.
AnVertisameuts VIII. however nave tlelr
fun number o. Insertions Wh51 the time
eau ba made uu. but WheR accidentally
leftour and the number q insertions can
not he given. the money paid for the omit
ted insertions VIII lze returned % the al
Tertiaer. All letters shOHid be addressed
j. IT. ESTILL, Savannah. Ga.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
sci $40 p00ro.
Mantels. Mantels, Nantes

CALL and examine my stoek Z. o. XII, isq.TGL
- SLATE, IRON and WOODEN MAN.
before purchasing elsewhere. tnll nj
| am Offering at very low prices t,ssodTlJ
of DOORS, SASHES, BLINDS, I rgTSg7g
INGS. STAIR RAILS, BA AIe m
Newell POSTS, PAINTS, QidssIT ri
NISHES, RAILROAD, STEAMBggT cf ls
and MILL SUPPLIES, WlNDOh
PUTTY, BRUSHES, Ere, ETC ,-n ZAP
Also. a fun line OF BUILDl5A,'1 "a NO
WARE. LIME. PLASTER, HAZE zIll1-J Ky n u
MENT. PLAIN and DECORATIVE 81
PAPER.
ANDREW HAM,
Cor. Whitaker. York and President -.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-05
Ennt
1lpbolntFru.

CARPETS. MATING and OIL CLOTe
~ laid; shade and upholstery work Of af
kinds promptly at ended to. Leave ordeHa
80 Whitaker, OF AS Gordon street.
EDW. /. PURSE
National Republican., 1884-02-23

self. Then another Russian stepped up and
got away with half of tho remainder, and tho
third one finished It. What occurred next?
Well, the saloonkeeper just kicked 'em out
the front door,
National Republican., 1884-02-23

EMIGRANTs and travellers will find in Ayers
Sarsaparilla an eilectual cure for the eruptions,
boils, pimples, eczema &c, that break out on the
skiu-the effects Oi disorder in the blood caused
by sea diet and life on board ship. 1t is the best
medicine for everyone In the spring.
National Republican., 1884-02-23
NebrasIsn Mennonites.
ChicIO0 EhrGhL.


"Can farmers out in Nebraska mako any
money ~ l inquired of returning visitor to
the west. ''Wol, some of them can," ho re-
sAied. "Now, there's tho Menuonites you
sRaoW they are from the southern part OF
Russia. They come over here in droves to
escape military service in the Russian army,
which is contrary to their religion. They fiji
up good share Of two or three counties, and
though they had to buy their farms instead
of homesteadng 'em, they are getting rich.
They are hard workers aud good farmers; and
when ii comes to economy they are right
there, early and late. What can't be sold oil
their farms they feed to the pigs, and
what the pigs won't eat they sat
themselves l know family OF father,
mother, five children, and one grown rela-
tive, ei hit of 'em in all, and their grocery
bill doesn't average so cents week, And
why should it? They don't use sugar, nor
tea, nor baking powder, nor anything of that
kind. They mako their own butter, and use
Drowned barley for coffee, Tho 90 to bed
nightly soon after sundOwn TO save oil, and
never buy any coal, but make tho children
carry in cOrnstalks aud such things to burn.
Everything they buy--harnesses, tools, um-
ber, &c.-is bought at wholesale in Chicago
and then parcelad out around at cost. Most
of the time they ship their grain to Chicago
themselves. Oh, they know how TO look out
for the pennies Why, with my own eyes |
saw three of 'em 90 into saloon in a lit
tie town called sutton one called for whisky,
and laid down ten cents lie allied the glass
" the top aud drank about third Of 1t him