The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-04-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


The banker is the best known man Of
note.
A case of much interest-When you
borrow of your uncle at the sign of the
three balls.
As this is leap-year women have the
privilege of whistling when they want to
stop a street Philadelphia OlironicIs.
A writer in scientific monthly asks:
"What is meterln It's sort of mo-
chanical Jay-Eye- See. Philadelphia Call.
An exchange says mush has become
popular dish in society. Nothing seems
to take in society like something SOFT
Blizzard
In courtship the position of purser
is occupied by man, while woman looks
after the rigging and stays Chicago
Telegram
Lambkin says the only sure preventive
against Western river rising would be for
him to own a few shares of em.-BostOn
Bulletin.
The largest word in the dictionary is
Observation-Disclosures. By punching
out every other letter it ought to make
an excellent comb.-C Chicago Sum-
And still, year after year, the standard
of college education is raised higher and
higher and higher Columbia has just
organized banjo club.--HaUbeye.
Bring something good to the sur
prise party tonight" wrote young
lady to her sweetheart, and the New
York Morning Journal says 'he brought
a tremendous appetite"
Walt Whitman's latest poem shows
marked improvement in the construction
of rhymes. He makes suggestions"
rhyme with ''goal, and 'sun" with 'hur-
ricanes. ."-NOrriSt0l0 Herald.
We have discovered that turkeys can
be completely fooled by throwing them
gold dollars by the handful. They snap
them up in mistake for corn. 1t is good
fun. Try it.-PhiJddeIphiG Call.
"Shot dead by doctorl" Such is the
startling caption of an article in an ex-
change. He must be very unskillful
physician who has to resort to powder and
ball to get rid of a patient. Boston Tran
script.
1t was only little piece of butter
cracker, yet how great and colossal and
bitter it seemed to the occupant of the
ballroom as he suddenly jumped into
bed and got it square in the small of his
ck-Pucb.
A Boston man advertises that he recov-
ers umbrellas. This man should have
good run of custom. would give him
a job ourselves if we thought he could
recover the silk one we lost last spring.
-iSomer0iLe Journal.
Mother-'I am afraid Mr.. Crisscross
is not serious in his attentionsm Daugh-
ter-"He is awful bashful, you know;
but he's offering himself piecemeal. Last
night he wanted me to take his arm. -
NeaO York Graphic.
An exchange says: 'What are our
young men doing" We can't answer
for the rest of the country but around
here they are engaged mainly in trying
to lead nine dollar existence on seven
dollar salary. Springs Ne'0s.
A Vermont man has hen thirty-nine
years old. The other day hawk stole
| it, but after an hour came back with
broken bill and three claws gone, put
down the hen and took an old rubber
boot in place of it.-BoStOa Post.
Confucius or some other ancient writer
states that little things are very often
greatest. When this little bit of philoso-
ply was written the philosopher must
have been trying to chase solitary mos
quito out of the room in the dark.-FStcb.
HER sTUPENDoUs SCREAM.
A Fargo young lady named Rouse
Caught a glimpse of poor little mouse,
And the scream that she scrome,
Shattered heavens blue dome,
And bulged out the walls Of the house.
Bismarck Tribune.
A woman in Macon, Ca, has been tend
ing a switch since 1862, and it is con-
sidered remarkable thing down there
/ We should like to see a Massachusetts
woman who does not "tend switch" as
regularly as she does up her hair every
! day.--LOl0eU Courier.
| MAIDEN MEDITATION.
Let posts sing of gentle spring,
The Joys that birds and flowers bring,
The woods that with wild echoes ring,
The sky, and all that sort of thing,
In rhymes which have no reason;
But as for me when like bee,
/ seek for sweetness fancy free,
And dart my glance with savage glee
AT bashful swans who start and flee,
Give me the leap-year season!
L. 81