davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
A Razor which Had the ..Hoodoos."

Pittsburg Commercial.
"Drat de razzer, said gray-haired old bar
Der in an Allegheny shop Saturday morning
as his victim gave an agonizing yell. He
stopped, ran his thumb along the edge of his
ancient horn-handle and said: She is got all
de pearanee of bein sharp but desc razzers am
Gurus Now, Use had dat knife goin' on eighteen
yeahs an dis am de 10th time she's gone into
dem sulksn
What do you mean by that, unele9" asked
the victim as he wiped bit of lather out of his
left eye.
ssWiy doan' you know a razzer II hab de sulks
jes like CONAN or a mulel' continued the old
man, as he gave finishing touch with the strap
to a bone handled instrument preparatory to a
fresh onslaught.
mo- do they?'
''W'y bress yah haht, sonny, dey does hab
spells now an den an yo' can't do muffin wild
wild DEM Mebbe razzer II shade along all
right for six months an mebbe for a yeah, an
den all at once she ies commences to scratch an
pull jes like yo' was being shaded wild a han
saw. I've seen 'em jeS often hone, shade one
man jes as clean an so easy dat he'd jes gcin' to
sleep, and de next time mebbe boy I'D set
down in the char, wat hadn't any more har on
his face dan you has on de palm OF yo' han,
an dat razzer'd jes commence an let out her
teeth an pull till dat Teller I'D jess yell right
out"
The old man Strengthened up here to relieve
the tension on his rheumatic old joints and the
victim asked:
What Is the cause OF 1t, uncleF
Somebody's done put hoodoo on it, spec. !"
"a heodoo What's thatl'
'sBress yer inherent soal doan yer know wat
er hoodoo isl Wy its whar pusson wild de
power puts spell on 20 or yo' tools, or sufin
wat yo' owns Oars an ole CONAN Ibis down on
de alley wat has cat an killed de cat fob get
ting in my cuppard an eaten piece OBJ de lib
Der. Well dat CONAN has worked de debbil
against me ebber since. Spec I'll hab ter make
a 'foromashun ginst her fob de mayor"
The old man stopped for minute or two as
he dried the face of his victim. Suddenly he
broke out BOSS is yer surance agentg
mo-
Does yer sell booksp
'tNo."
'sW'at is yer denP
IT am reporter"
II thought you was sumfn of dat sort. Next
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
charlotte Bronte,s Married Life.

Lucy Hooper, in Philadelphia Telegraph.
Since last arrived in Yorkshire have heard
it generally asserted that the brief welded life
of Charlotte Bronte was by no means the rose
ate dream of happiness that her biographers
have described Mr.. Nicholl appears to have
been harsh, if not a positively unkind hus-
band, and certainly his actions after the death
of his first wife prove him to have been an un-
loving one. Perhaps it was better so-that
early death with the dim eyes turned to the
bleak moors that the dying woman loved better
than the grandeurs of London or the loneliness
of Paris. That strange, morbid nature was not
created for happiness. The last supremest
chance that a woman ever has afforded
her. namely, that of conjugal bliss,
seems to have failed her. Fame
and glory and the applause of the world found
her Indifferent and unresponsive. She had out
lived the sister whose nature was so like herown
the brother that she had idolized in spite of his
shortcomings. What was left, then, to the lone
ly, unsatisfied heart, save the one repose that
never may be troubled Yet to how many of us
would not her lot have appeared one of unspeak-
able happiness! To have written Jane Eyre-to
have been hailed as one of the greatest authors
Of the day--to have been welcomed as sister by
Thackeray-to healthy, appreciatiye nature
such a destiny would have seemed Respondent
with the choicest gifts of heaven.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
ADVICE UNHEEDED.

A Terrifying Lecture by an Uncomfortable
Looking Passenger.
New York Sun.
thin, MISUNDERSTANDING man sat bolt
upright in an elevated railroad car. He seemed
anxious to give vent to his feelings, and when a
young man sat down beside him, he began to
talk at once.
sSit up straight as I do" said he. II don't do
it so much because I'm afraid as because de-
sire that my example should serve as reproach
to the careless man across the aisle"
The young man sat up straight. His compan-
ion pointed to stout man who was reading at
ease in corner, with his hat in his hand, and
his bald head leaning comfortably against the
woodwork.
ibid you ever see such reckless disregard for
all the laws of healthl the uncomfortable man
vent on. There's party who would feel Of
Tended if asked to use common hair-brush in a
hotel, and would perhaps, refuse to drink out of
q tin cup used by the multitude at public foun-
tain Yet water purihes and the things which
/ have mentioned are of but little Importance
compared with the crime against self-preserva-
ton which that man is now committing One
hundred million passengers ride in these cars
every year. Of that number it is safe to say
that 600 are afflicted with some sort or
other of contagious skin disease. There
is nothing in this world like wood
to hold the germs Of disease About
100000 of that million of diseased passengers
lean their heads back while riding. Therefore,
there are the germs of 800, 900 skin diseases
clinging to the wood in these cars should say,
to make rough guess, that about 800 diseases
are right over in the corner where that mans
head is now
The stout man jumped up about this time,
rubbed his head and face with his handkerchief
as if he had overheard the lecture, and left the
train.
The uncomfortable looking man smiled sadly
on the young man beside him. Then the young
man went over and sat down in the vacant corner,
took off his hat leaned his head against the
woodwork, and slept all the way up to 10th
street
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
In Search of a wife.

New York Truth.
A little after 10 o'clock on Sunday night well
dressed young man walkedintoehe Washington
street station in Brooklyn and told Sergeant
Ballard who was behind the desk, that he was
looking for wife.
II live at Hartford he said, and run farm
there need a wife to keep my house clean,
but as women are mighty scarce up that way /
thought I'd run down to New FORK and see what
could do Some of my friends got their wives
at Castle Garden, and I've been there myself,
but can't get any one to suit me-"
What led you to come to Brooklyn" asked
the Sergeant
We'll, ] read in the papers about that girl
burglar, Ella Larrabee. like the description Of
her, but think, if she would have me for a hus-
band, that could reform her I've got plenty
of money, and would make her nice present Il
she would marry me-
The young man wrote on slip Of paper: Mr.
Daniel F. Shugrue, Windsorville, Hartford coun-
ty Connecticut
Then be said: IF any girl comes along that
you think would suit me- just give her that adj
dress and tell her to write to me. I'LL go up to-
morrow to the penitentiary and see Ella LARA
bee anyway, and if she'll have me why III give
her the first CHOICE
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
a Gorgeous Gambling House.
Long Branch Letter.

Long branCny Letter.
BY all means the most gorgeously appointed
gambling house on the coast between Ports
mouth and Savannah and probably the most
extensively fitted up establishment Of its kind in
America, is the Pennsylvania cottage, or stDaly's
clubhouse on Ocean avenue near the West
end Hotel. The bank is backed by New York
millionaires, and is said to have unlimited cap
ital Big gamblers from ali quarters of the
country in search Of ''big limit game come
here. Dissatisfied with $500 and 5000
or the 1920 and $400r limits of New
York, Boston, Chicago, Baltimore, New
Orleans, Denver and ST. Louis, they try Days.
Here they are not embarrassed by commands to
'stake down" Their bets ''go as they lay, and
it is not an unusual thing to see thousand dollar
bets scattered over the layout Single bets Of
So 900 and $40, 900 are made, aud you sometimes
read in newspapers and novels Of gamblers who
habitually wager tens Of thousands on
the turn Of card. There may
be gamblers Of that kind, but doubt
it. When men in whom the passion for play
is strongly developed accumulate money enough
to indulge in such toplofty betting as have
described they generally play against the New
York Stock Exchangeor Chicago Board Of Trade,
or take TO wrecking railroads for q profession.
They drop cards Unlucky players can lose
100000 in two or three hours at $500 limit
game, and there are very few who can play that
high Nevertheless the profits Of Days reached
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
speaker orr and the chaplaln.

Charlottesylle (Na.1 chronicle.
Some tells good story on former chap
presumed The story goes as follows: When
j, L. Orr was speaker Of the House he spent q
short time at the Warm Springs, in North Car
DINA, where DR. White was also. The two had
been sitting for time apart, each engaged with
his own knot of immediate friends and by and
by the Doctor arose and walked across the room
with the old-time limp in his gait Mr.. Orr i'm
mediately recognized him and asked him if he
were not the chaplain at university in Vir-
GINA at such q time, naming the year. The
Doctor replied that he was. II was there, said
Mr., Orr, "a student at the time, and / knew you
by the peculiar limp Of your step" 'Well,"
said the Doctor little severely, though with q
seems that my limping made a-deeper impression
on you than my preaching "Ah, Doctor, =
quickly replied Mr.. Orr, II deem it the highest
compliment we can pay clergyman to say he
Is known by his walk rather than by his con-
versatiOn.n
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Her Fan.


Waving her fan,
She sat beneath the linden trees;
watched her in her languid ease;
The scent of spices filed the air
Like incense rare while she sat there,
Waving her FAM
Waving her fan,
In graceful undulating sway,
She caught and waved my breath away.
I seemed to see enchanted land
Beneath the spell of one white hand,
Waving her fan.
Waving her FAM
thought her loving proud and sweeti
dreamed that life would be complete
With her to soothe and soften pain,
While could watch her oft again
Waving her fan.
Waving her fan,
Her tender glance sped hope to me.
Launched. NY dearest, viii you be-"
She spoke, the tone seemed from afar,
You're dropping ashes from your cigar.
While waving her fan.
Ida May Davis.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Gave Himself Away.

hOCKIahu HAztLL9, ----9-1 --7--1
81 tell you what" airily exclaimed Perkins as
be sat down to the supper table; II was in
tight place this afternoon" YES know you
were, interrupted his wife, in clear, cold utter
ances that cut like knife, II saw you coming
out of it.n And then it flashed across Perkins
that he had incidentally stepped into a saloon
with friend for the purpose of examining a
doubtful political statement with the aid Of a
magnifying glass, and his contemplated anec.
dote slipped from his grasp like money at sum
mer resort, while the supper was finished amid
a silence SO profound that he could plainly hear
a napkin ring. &c
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Politics in the Usage Nation.

Kansas City Times.
GColonel Black Dog has been elected chief Of
the Usage nation. Major Strike Ak was laid low
There was no scandal in the election. Colonel
Black Dog is not q bachelor. He would have to
have several wives less to make full-blown
bachelor. MAJOR Strike AK never attended a
female seminary, and there is no scandal in his
family. He never sowed any wild oats in his
younger days His blood was a little sluggish
land as q horticulturst he was not success
The election was highly credtable to the noble
|Osages No whisky was used in the campaign,
|bitonists as to the Indians, will allow no whisky
in the country No newspaper publisher was
sued for libel and not an editor in the whole
Usage country lied even once during the canvass.
~ was very clever campaign, and we congratu-
late Colonel Black Dog upon his success. The
parties did not divide politics, both being Re
publican.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Diiiculty In Obtaining Vouchers.

Ward-worker whom a candidate has given
money to spend among the boys with the under
standing that he was to show vouchers as to
where it went to the candidate ~ Hic)-I
spent your money, Major. You know-(hicy-
where
Major-But you were to show vouchers for
it.
Ward-worker - But, Major hic)-bens it's
jess lection time 'er Teller can't-(hic)- always
show vouchers for all he spends Now, Major,
I-lhic)-couldn't show vouchers for it all, could
I-(hic) -Majorl
MAORI don't know as you could unless you
got stomach pump.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Paolo and Francesca.

can but think the sombre Florentine
Failed once in true poetic thought when he
Pictured the fate of her Of Rimini,
And that Paolo, whom his words consign
To life with her beyond earth's outer line
Where they before the winds must ever fee,
Drifting along like some lost bark at sea,
That Of harbor seeks in vain sign.
II were no fate to fear that them befell;
Eternity together to be spent,
Doomed by power born Of the mighty spell
Of woven arms in fond embraces blent
All, dsathless Dantel This were never He'll
Paolo and Francescas punishment.
BEN D. House.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23

In numberless bulbs beneath the skin Is Sc
GREETED the liquid substance which gives the hair
its texture, color and gloss When this secre-
ton stops the hair begins at once to become
dry. lustreless, brittle and gray. Is that the
Hair Balsam at once. II will restore the color,
gloss and life by renewing the action Of nature
The Balsam is not an oil, not dye, but an ele-
CANT toilet article highly appreciated because Of
its cleanliness.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
The DeyiIKn

Letter from the Mountains.
The horse had stopped and refused to bulge,
seemingly aware that the two young lady tour
lists were novices at driving: Jennie, what in
the world shall we dol The outrageous brute
refuses to budget" Laura, there is an awful
wicked word that have heard men use, but
''Oh, my, we couldn't, but ooh, say, III tell
you what won't. be wrong, I'll say one half and
you the other, Goshpn 'Darnitnp GOSH!
Z 'Darnitr q 'Goshpn 9 Darnitp" But the
horse stood STILL 'He don't appear to under
stand us, Jennie said Laura despondently
''No, the horse don't but the devil does, Laura"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Would See Him Later.

st. Paul Pioneer Press.
While ". S. Alexander, of the Manitoba road,
was busy at his desk few mornings ago. there
entered a lank, tall, long haired Mormon elder,
one of the band now working in Minnesota.
II come to get pass from to -,"
said the elder.
.sYesq said Mr.. Alexander. Upon what ac-
COUNT
II am Mormon elder"
81 cannot give you pass
But you can allow me the usual halffare
permit"
81 am obliged to say that our road does not
recognize your church. can't give you a half
fare permit.
The elders face turned red and white, and he
choked for words to vent his rage. He finally
belched forth short and vigorous TRADE, and
wound up by shaking his finger menacingly over
Alexanders head, shrieking, eIll remember you.
I'll remember you. I'll met you at the throne Of
graceln
AS he withdrew with Brutus stride and an
'Aye-at Phillippi" air, Aexander's answer fell
softly on his ears:
'sIll be there
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
He Was Glad to Meet Him.

Drake's TraVeIers' Magazine.
As the train pulled out Of Kansas City, re-
Gently, bound West fnelooking old gentle
man, who occupied seat in the smoking car,
was accosted by a rank specimen of Western
humanity.
"Goin far West, stranger9" he asked
eyes, sir, replied the old gentleman, politely.
st am going to Denver"
Business or pleasure?p
Chiefly for my health
"Ah, yes, / see From the East, amt yer7p
Eyes; I am president of the Twenty fifth Ma
tional Bank, of New York"
you don't say SOL" exclaimed the Westerner,
Then he added, in whisper: "Gin us yer hand,
old pard, I'm right glad to meet yer. I'm
Missouri train-robbern
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Learned by Experience.
Texas Siftinss.

They were sitting on the sofa in their parlor,
conversing in a low, tremulous voice. They had
only been married short time. He seized her
hand, and said, with voice full of emotion:
Birdie, do you know that it was your innate
modesty, your apparent indifference that male
me resolve to win you at all hazards" Eyes,
George; the apparent indifference game is what
captured you. You are the first one triedit on.
/ slipped up on three or four occasions by gush-
ing too much before it occurred to me to change
my tactics. l wish it had occurred to me sooner"
and she sighed heavily
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
At the Making Of the HAY.

When the whip poor-wills are calling,
And the apple-blooms are falling,
With a tender tint forestalhng
Summers blush upon the grass
Where the little stars are keeping
Watch above the meadow sleeping,
Andthe JACKIE lantern peeping,
viii meet my bonnie lass.
I will seek her. will find her.
/ will slyly steal behind her;
And with kisses will blind her
Till she sets the happy dayl
And when the barleys heading,
And the summer rose is shedding,
Oh, therell be merry wedding
At the making of the haYl
Samuel Minturn Peck in September Manhattan,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Another Iconoclasm.
The Graphic.

They've revised the Old Testament
Auger-Is that 500 When did they do that!
Glmlet-It's been going on for years. It's just
finished
Anger Well it's the first I've heard of it.
Gimlet-They'ye made good many changes.
jaw bone of the ass. They say it isn't literally
true.
Auger-Well I'm sorry for that It's a -
good story anyhow
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23

Boston Globe.
ssTotg said Blossom, shave you ever been
baptized9"
hYeth, | have been baptithed remember
bill about it,
put water on your head like he did on baby
bohnnie's9n
"No-o-o,v said Tot ''the doctor he jutht
cratched my arm and rubbed something on it.
It didn't hurt Bit
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Equivocation.

We fingered, in the act to part,
The last word still unspoken,
By the quick beating Of my heart
The silence family broken.
So beautiful she seemed andpure-
All nae! how should miss her.
Unable longer to endure
My wish, l asked to kiss her.
A blush of deepest rose o'erspread
Her face, as If to mask it,
As, with woman's art, she said,
why, Frank, you should not ask It'll"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
The Dogs Name.
Brooklyn Eagle

!, What do you call your dog, GeorgielD asked
the visitor, pleasantly.
Psalm, said George
That's funny name for dog, !" the caller
said. "Why do you call it Psalml"
And the boy explained that he did so because
the dog wasn't hymn
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
An Easy Job.
The Granllin

Say, Mickey, PLAT are We dom jist nowqV
Same old trade; layin' bricks
out it77
II CAN'T
'Yls ye can. Come wild me-"
'Phat are ye doin'lp
lern
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
why He Didn't Know,

Arkansaw Traveller.
How can you account for those fine, stalks of
corn coming up in the fence cornerslB asked
man Of farmer.
That's not corn, the farmer replied "only
weeds"
'Ah, how singular"
Don't know much about farmin', Ireckingv
Very little, am the editor of an agricul-
tural paper"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
The Economic Ice-Man.

Plttsburg Chronicle.
Mary" said Mrs. Sharply to her maid, 'syou
really must put some sort of dish out on the step
to hold the ice so there won't be a puddle q
water left there every morning.
What dish shall use, mum9n
Anything would do, Suppose you use tea
cup"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
why the Pinkhams Returned to Maine.

why the Pinkhams Returned to Maine.
New York Evangelist.
Israel Pinkham and wife removed from Maine
many years ago to Utah Territory They
passed through Salt Lake the other day on their
way to their old home, and the old lady made no
secret Of the cause of their return. To the re-
porter for a GENTLE newspaper she said: my
husband and / have lived together these forty
three years, and though we joined the Mormons
twenty years ago, nothing was ever said about
polygamy until this spring. Then some sneak
ing priests came around and got the old man
worked up with the idea that he must
have one or two more wives. Not
much, Israel Pinkham,' says /; we've
Travelled together this fur, and no Mormon will
separate us now. We've got two sons and a
darter back East who shan't have anybody pok
ing fun at them, and there's the two little boys
that we buried back in Maine, who won't have
no occasion to pint their fingers at us when we
cross over to the other shore. This thing has
gone just as fur as it's going to-. Israel Pink
h am, we're going back to Maine, says /, and
whether we've got one year or ten years to live,
we'll end this here pilgrimage decent, as we be-
gun it. ea,
'.Aip't that what told youq" said she, adj
dressing the old man, who had been a silent
listener He smiled in faint way and nodded
assent 'sWe're going back to Maine con-
tinued the old lady. poorer than we came out
here, but wiser, and no wuss SO far as know.
There1l be no more Mormon in this family
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23

the very respectable sum of $500 900 last year, 1
am told. Places of lesser pretention catch the
herd and skin-suckers of smaller ambitions
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23

s'FoR economy and comfort every spring, we
use Hoods Sarsaparilla,H writes an intelligent
Buffalo, n Y. lady; 100 doses 81
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-23
Preserve tbe Teetb.

|cal and dental, claim Wards Cream Of Chalk
he best twenty-five cents Browning s. Sloan.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-02-12
FROM CGUR D'ALENE.

As so1n as steamers are running
through tickets crp be purchased
from Spokane Falls TO Eagle City.
Prov sions are very high in camp,
and q man wi bout money and q
supply OF grub has no business there.
1t has been showing here for the
last two wesk5 and al! trails a.
now impossible. The only wsy to
get in is by water.
E gle City has been surveyed, and
the principal streets have been
named Gold, Si.vtr and Eagle
streets. The cross streets have been
numbered.
The permanent value OF the new
gold discoveries depends upon the
quartz production and present lodi.
cations point to rich returns from
that source.