Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1884-12-11
Opening sardlnes.

Spoopendyke. tossing ont the nib
bons and laces in his wife's bureau
drawer, awhat's become of that can
openers I don't see it anywhere
aWhat do you want of it'' asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, Autterin,y up to
protect her trinkets, and trying to
gain little time.
81 want to open some sardines
with it, . retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
abandoning the drawer and hunting
through the work-basket .1,hink
want to comb my hair with It. I'm
agine want to write letter with it 2"
''You might take your bug knife"
recommended Mrs SpooI'endyke.
'The large blade is just the thing
for that
Mr.. Spoopendyke seized the
knife and bored away at one corner
of the box, while his wife locked ON
with considerable distress.
Hadn't you better put q paper
under the boxi You'll get the oil
all over the tablecloth," suggested
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as the knife
plunged through and the oil spat-
tered out. Serve you right If I did. "
he continued, ploughing away at the
tin, while the grease few in all di-
rections. at would teach you to
put the can-opener where you
could find it. What Kind Of house
keeping do you cali this, anyhows"
he yelled, as the blade slipped out
and closed up on his fingers
did you hurt yourself, dearf"
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, aanously.
"No, I didn't hurt myself, rgrinned
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "The dod-gasted
knife struck the bone, or I would
have been dead with agony an hour
ago. Give me some ether" he howl
ed. ssFetch me some chloroform.
S'pose TIM going to saw at this box
any longer without an an@sthetic!
Got an idea TIM going to chip off q.
couple dozen fingers without some.
thing to deaden the paint Where's
the laughing gass Give me some
Laughing gas, whilst I extract these
measly old fish" And Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke pranced around the room, and
then jabbed the knife into the box
again and ripped away as though he
was run by steam. mo use to hide
away from me-" he yelled, hacking al
the box with all his might. q know
you're in there, and there can't any
dod- -gasted sardine that ever wsa
built get away from me. Come out
I tell yer' and he seized fish by tht
tail and slung him across the roona
you're transacting business will
Spoopendyke now" And he elawet
, out a handful of mashed sardin,s
and slapped them down On plate
"Won't you spoil 'em, dears" asket
! Mrs. Spoopendyke, lodging the fly
ing heads and tails. "They won't b
very good if you open 'em that way.
Il "Oh, won't they!" howled M,
: Spoopendyke. eff you don't lik
'em that way, what'd you ask fo
t them fort Maybee you want me t
/ take 'em out in a baby carriag,
8 P'r'aps you've got an idea I ought
: climb under 'em and lift EN- out wit
0 a seine. Well, I won't, { tell yo,
Give me the tongs. I want that fis
L at the bottom. Where's the ton,yl
Gone to get married to the can-opsl
8 er, haven't they.r And Mr.. Spool
)? endyke grabbed another fish an
It fired him into the CRATE.
; "Be patient, my DEAR said MIR
t. Spoopendyke, soothingly. "Mial
the opening a little wider, and they
come out"
:. "Hain't I PATIENT" shouted M
: spoopendyke 'EP'r'aps you want
sing to 'em, I wish I was an ang'
=. and with the bod g.ast the fis
Come out of that" And with
b wrench Mr.. Spoopendyke hauled
. the top and disclosed the mangl
remains of his enemies. s.Nowgive I
a lemon" And he eyed the repa
with anything but contentme1
"Stir around and get rae lerae
"a quick now"
upon my word, my dear. I do
believe there's lemon IN the house
:. stammered Mrs. Spotpendyke.
had one
=, 'sOh, you had one!' proclaim
+. Mr.. Spoopendyke, ''onlv you're j
out. If you'd been brought
- :. right, you'd only need an aw'ai
80 and family ON the top floor to b
grocery shop. S'pose I'm going
leat the sardines raw Think ]
going to swallow the fish aliyes Il
me something to put On 'em, I,
YET"
"What would you like, my dt,s
queried Mrs. Spoopendvk.
ice .Ink, dod CAST it! Fetch me SC
his measly ink! Got any nailss ca
you find some laudanum SD
wheres'' And Mr.. Spoopen,l
projected himself intdlth closet
.. praneed out with bottle of arm
@There," he howled, as he das
ere the contents over the sardl
"there's your fish all ready for ,
hi, and the next time you want M
open the things, you have a len
will We. Find a can-opener, VI