The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1884-12-24
Written TOT The SenuneI
THE PRIDE OF BARLOW GREENS
A Romance of Militia Life In America.


can tell you right here that Pm done with this
military business. A volunteer military company
Is less use than the Keely motor, and keeps man
in trouble and at expense all the time, and then If
war arises or a riot takes place, or anything
dangerous comes up, you're expected to turn out
and risk your life and 500 uniform for the public
good. Being called Colonel or Major, and wear
ing blue coat with brass buttons and command
ing the admiration OF the ladies and small boys,
and cutting terrible swath on Decoration Day
and Fourth of July is all very well,
but il doesn't pay. know. for l tried 1t for two
years when lived at st. Adams. We organized
company there for the purpose OF giving lot of
Us military titles, and having a lot of dances at
which we could appear in uniform and dazzle the
girls. There were about two hundred Of US who
thought IL would be a deuce OF hne thing to be
soldiers rs long as there was no fighting TO do.
Well, we got together, and when We came to Or
the Colonel we took PSI ballots, and on the first
every man had one vote. When we reached the
last Christian Berriel was elected by iO1 to 80 for
ballot, and was mad at his defeat. So
we're the other ninety-eight and we sw0re
opeaszeS was another COMPANY The first company g
was called the Runsome Guards. (Runsome was
q rich man who would put up money for the uni
foTms) We grabbed another rich man and named
ourselves for him, the Barlow Greens. OF course.
we elected Barring as Colonel We felt that We
Something of military matters, and Barring YVES
generally REGARDED as the hero of the first Bull
Run, having been present at that battle and being
field of battle, after the defeat 1 was elected
Major, and we put in as many other officers as
possible so as % give all tne t ntes we e0@d vi
was awful hot Pm bound 70 admit that
the other company generally, o got TN, the
np awful close. If they nsd ball we had one
too. If they had picnic we went into the woods,
too, ana ate dirt and bugs with our food. II they
got n 10 RAJ i
the night they played ''Richard Ill.," we did
Hamlet" and our performance knocked theirs
sky hiRh, though ought to have played Ham
let instead OF Barring; but he was the Colonel, so
we had to cast him for 1t. We wore our uniforms,
too, instead OF costumes. and l tell you they
showed TO advantage on the stage. Oh, we Kept
even with that other company, though circum-
stances always did seem to favor them. But one
day they got the start Of us. We were all OF us
10y all mean the offcers) up in Colonel Barings
private office, when in rushed ID. CONN. Boys
said he, .'have you heard the newsr We
eagerly demanded an explanation OF his
excitement. They're going 10 have funeral
said he. zone of the guards-Jim Corwin-is
town red doing 1t; They've got forty carriages
and tive brass bands engaged" We were all just
demoraized for minute: But Colonel Barring ring
Jays to have any festivities that we can't enIoy2
''No," we said. "We'll have funeral thapn out
said we. Then we held council of war to look
over the situation. The Colonel called in the
Orderly Anybody in this company desdr N he
luck" tiRbed the Colonel. But we've
out a corpse is id absurd" We admitted it,
"lfwe could find corpse we'd be all right said
Captain Graves. Couldn't We rob the cemetery Z!
the Colonel; I'VE want nice fresh corpse; one
they can't cast any slurs on Somebody sus
getted that man named Chadbourne had teen
killed by being hit by derrick that day. He'll
do said the Colonel; and we at once proceeded
to elect the deceased r.ember OF the Greens, and
wbatll his family say % some one asked. "Oh,"
said the Colonel" Wen have to arrange with
them they wont let us m nSye b s9e
it." They appointed me committee to
call on the widow and see what conld be done.
and they told me to use it. well, gen.
tlemen," said I, "Pll do the best can: but
to payY'' Nobody knew, SO i started out with
this final direction from the Colonel: .Get it as
cheap as you can, but get Is" walked over TO
in. While 1 was waiting IN the Parl9r for the
widow TO come down stairsit occurred TO me that
was there on rather pecnG,g GRAND. and am
Well the widow entered shedding tears as copi-
6usly as Texan utters profanity.
preaching the Subject bu. al sst TOt at Il You
tslk about boiler explosioDi 1t was nothing to
what got when / mentioned buying the de-
and concluded their old funerl might 20 to
blszes-I wanted to go fishing. 1 ose to leave
out hne put ner manu- on my arm anu SAUL Doht
CO." Then she demanded, in reproachful tones
'What sum did you propose to insult me by offer
ing for my poor dead husband9" 81 didn't reckon
on it as an insult" said, ''but thought $50 was
about right" FIFTY doiarsP' she exclaimed, in
a tone Of scorn; "you were not man enough to
offer STOP my dear madame" urged, you
must remember the deceased was hit on the head
by derrick. His head must be all stove in.
Damaged goods, ma'aml Damaged goods You're
in luck to make sale at any pricel" "Well. Pm
q poor, lone, unprotected widow nowl' she
m0aned. II suppose you'll force me to take s65
and will tear my darlings body away from mel"
'Sixty-hye goes" said i, and IL did. j ordered
the remains sent over to the armory and returned
to reportsuccess. The boys were delighted. We
at once set TO work preparing for the funeral The
Guards had forty carriages. We ordered fifty. We
downed 'em on cut flowers. too. And as
they put up one hundred yards OF Grape in their
armOTy we ordered one hundred and fifty. The
decorator said there wasn't room to put up over