davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13
What Her Husband Was Used To.

A few days ago Detroit wife was
reading a newspaper article which
tickled her almost to death. 1t was
entitled: GLOW to keep your husband
at home," and it was about the Troy
wife who turned, the sitting room into
a saloon, and thus welded her hus-
band to his home and kept him in
at nights.
The Detroit wife cackled and grin
ned and cackled again, and vowed
that she'd follow the plan to the last
detail. That evening, when her hus-
band had finished his supper and was
making rush for his hat to 90 down
and see man on 100000 worth of
business, the exultant wife led him
into the library. There was sawdust
on the floor, six big spittoons artisti-
cally arranged around the room, and
"a bar on which rested half dozen
bottles of beer and a supply Of beer
glasses.
MY angel wife, may heaven bless
you" exclaimed the husband, as he
looked around him and took in all the
details.
Then he walked around and expec-
torated in each spitton, and he walked
up to the bar and swore like a trooper
and called for beer. When he had
drunk it he kicked over the chairs and
said he was just as good as Vanderbilt
or any other man. When he had i'm
bibed some more beer he kicked over
the bar and broke the bottles, and as
soon as his wife began to talk politics
he blacked her eye and went in to
clean out the place. When the neigh
bors finally got the man quieted down
things were endwise and crosswise all
over the house, while half the neigh
borhood were hunting for fire alarm
box and the other half for the police.
When the histericky wife had finally
explained her plan to the mob filling
the parlor, the husband sat up on end
amid the wreck and waved his fists
about and shouted:
You bez your booz! Nicesz s'loon
in zhis town! Nicesz wife in Dtroit!
Everybody come up'n driz at my
'spense. Whoop. Wherein man who
want'er run out nights?'-DetroH
PJpe Press
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13
The Tendencies Of the Times.

'Gem'len,' said Brother Gardner, a;
the triangle sounded, 'eberv day o
my life | lI'ar complaints about oul
pollytics, our reiigum, our skules, oul
society, onr amusc ments, an our sys
tenn of gov'ment Sun'thin' must be
wroung wild our hull system of exis.
tence. What am it. Dat am the
question | propose to have discussed
heah tonight in all its bearins', and
| AK Mr.. Waydown Beebe to take the
fioah and lead off,
We are runnin' away wild de kentry,
said the solemn voice of Waydown
Beebe, as his name was called. I'VE
am libin too fast. Twenty years ago |
was satisfied with a two roomed cabin
an dollar aday Now has to have
a two-story house and twelve shillings
"a day. Wives who used to go bar'fut
six days week to save deir shoes for
the seventh, now wear SIS butes to
mop in. De pusson who Arms $40 a
week mus lib jist as good as the one
who Arms $50. Twenty vars ago de
woman wild diamond ring could boss
"a hull nayburhood. Now, when she
even tries to boss de sarvand gal, de
gal packs up her peck Of diamonds
an quits de job, widout waitin's to col
lect any leetle matter like $40 back
salary. When | was a boy de man
who bought can of oysters was sup
posed to have bin left a legacy of for
teen millyun dollars. Nowaday dee
poo mans back yard an kivered wild
de empty cans.
4 kin see sign arter sign dat dis
generashun am speedin' along widout
thought or car Of wbar' it will bring
up. Men who am hoein' taters to-day
am nabobs to-morrer. Men who used
to believe in savin' up fur a rainy day
now scatter deir cash aroun' as if de
sunshine mus allus last. Whar' |
used to be satisfied wild bean soup
now want ox-tail, an dat's what ails
de hull kentry, We has got to slow up
an simmer down or de top rail am
gwine to give way an give us all a
Qrap.'
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13
Volume XII. ---Nc. |.
Feats in Tele graphy.

The telegraph service in Washing
ton, says correspondent Of the Bos-
ton Transcript, is said to have no su-
perior either in Earope or this coun-
try. had brief chat with a gentle
man, who is recognized authority on
such matters, only few days since,
and he said: "The fastest sender in
this country is Mr.. P. V. DeGraw.-
Some years ago congressional COM
mittee went over to New York and
examined the offices of the Western
Union. The members were taken in
charge by Walter P. Phillips, who is
now general manager of the United
Press association, and who is recognize
ed as the fastest receiver in the busi-
ness Mr.. Phillips sat down at the
'clicker' and telegraphed to Mr.. De
Graw to give an exhibition Of his fast
sending, for ten minutes. Chronome-
ters were taken out, and MIR. DeGraw
began. At the expiration of the ten
minutes he had telegraphed 490 words,
an average Of 49 words a minute. This
is the lest record yet made in this
country. Mr.. DeGraw has charge Of
the work at the Capitol for the Unit
cd Press association, and occasionally
goes to the wire and sends so fast that
the receiver has no difficulty in know
ing who is in Washington that is rat
tling the sounds with such rapidity.
Some time ago Mr.. Phillips made a
bet with an operator in New York
that he could telegraph an editorial
at the rate OF forty words a minute,
for ten consecutive minutes. Now
Phillips is recognized as the fastest
receiver in the United States, but on
account of partial attack Of paraly-
sis in the right arm, occasioned from
overwork, he is regarded as a slow
sender. The New York operator took
the bet in a hurry, but Mr.. Phillips
accomplished the feat with ease The
secret leaked out after awhile that Mr.
Phillips had written the editorial, and
the peculiarity of it was that it did
not contain word of nine letters
Mr.. James of the Associated Press,
sends the most perfect Morse of any
man in the country, and there are Il
number Of others who are noted as
telegraphers, but those | have men
toned are known all over the Union.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13

eyes filling. Il don't want to stay any
longer. lm tired of the nonsence ofmy
so.called admirers. Think Jack ought
to be ashamed of himself, And lshall
90 home on Saturday.
Dear Laura said, bending forward
to lay her white hand on the pretty
one in Nellie's lap, 81 think | quite
understand you; you are angry at Jack
and he may deserve it, but you should
not make us all suffer for his mlsdolngs.
Nellie, do you act toward him as la
dy should toward tile man she l0res >
Il don't love him - Nellie cried an
gerly; and then she put up both jew
eled hands and began to sob. Il don't
not the least bit in the world she
cried, with much unnecessary force :;
but Laura drew her chair nearer her
cousin, took the fair head to her bos
ON, and smoothed it moment silent
ly. When she spoke her sweet voice
was very low and trit1e sad.
i, having loved, can recognize the
sweet fair opening of love- she said
gently. we are so careless of heart
which lies at our hand, Nellie, that
We torture it, play with it, wound it
sometimes sorely, because is ourown.
| know. Nellie. No woman wants to
own that she loves, not even when the
one who is dear as her life TO her pleads
for her affection. We would be free
all our lives, were we to have our
way free TO win love which we do not
care for; TO laugh at heart aches and
love power: TO keep men at our feet,
Of our own indifference. But when the
master comes, We rebel against his
power. Nellie We do not want to
kneel to him, noble though he may be; j;
We tremble at his touch, his smile, but
that We tremble chafes Us and we de-
ny him our smiles. while We turn to
others to try for the old forgetful calm
trhich riU not come bark TO us, Nellie.
| read your heart, because when it was
too late learned to oread my own and
| would tell you, from my own bitters
that VIII n love would fain answer love
a woman's s.le chance for happiness
lies IN her own hand for single hour;
gone by, she either stands among the
loving, happy womcn who are blest by
IA mans best love, or she looks drearily
at her harvest which is but regretful
SORROW
Nellic's tears had ceased to flow she
lifted her head and laid an impulsiye
kiss upon the lips of her cousin.
Tell me. Laura, she whis-Apd ID soft
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13

A woman waiting for train in New
Jersey, went insane, instead of in the
car.
A Westport, Conn, lady had "a we'd
ding cheese forty-six years old. 1t was
not only venerable cheese, but
mighty one.
There is a girl in Chicago who has
ten fingers on each hand. The man
that marries her will be bald headed
before the honeymoon is over.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13

Jack he said, not paying the least at
tention to Jacks companion. Laura
is to be my wife
Then there's two Of u.s. Jack said,
laughing. This lady-Miss Lee, Mr..
Eaughn-has promised to be mine
Philadeiphia CaU
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13


lifted her head and laid an impulsive
kiss upon the lips of her cousin.
Tell me. Laura she whis.>,,d ID soft
iy.
Not unless You love nv brother,
i Ianra answered. NV story .woutl
warn one VINO truly owes vet hes,vates
before her happiness on careless ears
would fall too lightly.
Nellie's pretty face wa>-vrirn,vn as
she made her confession.
IL think would, if he was not
unkind to me, she said. Laura kissed
her.
You are scarcely kind TO him, dear,
she said with faint smile; what was
it last night, Nellie
Il suppose it wasn't quite the thing
to do, but gave pretty flower to
Nane Brandon, which | had refused to
Jack aud | think | told somebody,
where Jack could hear, that be and |
were sorts of cousins, and would like
dozen more just Ike him. owned
Nellie.
Yes. said Laura, bitterly; and you
loved him best all the time. 1t was so
with me. Nellie; had cold, careless
words for the man who was all the
world to me- would turn from him
10 the most frivolous among nv ac
qualntences and treat him with the
most utter Indifference \ favor he
would ask would grant another in his
very presence after having denied it to
him. | was foolish enough to think
that by seeming Indifferent might be-
come SO, and as my heart turned more
strongly toward him my manner be-
came more cold and naughty, and the
end was that-we parted. He has
gone from my life, and the world he has
eft is dreary one. Nellie, be ten
der to your own heart, more merciful
to your own life than | have been to
mine
'If-lf Jack loved me- Nellie COM
menccd; but just then Jack appear
ed in the doorway, his handsome face
full of genial light.
Laura, he said, Il have left an old
friend in the parlor. He can give us
but few moments: and know you'll
be glad to see him again
Nellie was sitting very erect, but her
cheeks were burning. AS Laura left
her seat she asked who their guest was.
Arthur Vaughn Jack answered
and Nellie's quick eye noted the hot
wave of color that burned in her cou-
sins cheek, as with a few low words,
she left the room: and forgetting her
anger with Jack-who yet fingered
she asked eagerly:
Was this Mr.. Vaughn lover of
Laura's, Jack
Yes Jack replied, sinking into the
chair which Laura had vacated. And
she treat, d him like-well, about as l
have been treated by the woman | love.
Has Miss Foster used you badly?'I
the girl questioned serenely.
My complaint is against you,' Jack
retorted. what have you to say for
yourself? Do you think that fool of a
Brandon so much more worthy Of
But little hand stole shyly into
MS, ana the 1alnteSC OF lalnt Whispers
reached him:
I'm awfully sorry, Jack y and in.
stantly Jack was interested, and his in
terst communicated itself to his
and everything, quarrels,
flowers, neglected dances, Laura-was
until in the midst of very
tender speech on Jacks part, Laura
entered the room on the arm of tall,
fair man, whom Nellie had never seen
with anew joy clarifying her
face and shining in her dark eyes.
The stranger held out his hand, and
Jack, not exactly knowing why he
should, took it in his own.
I'm the happiest man in the world;
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-06-13

Ladies % cent kid and Pei lie But'on Boots.
-, 90 Uutiyal,d KID
- 90 h%ud stwtd Pars kit Baton,
The easiest prettiest and best Shoe made.
LsGies comfortable House Slippers, - cents up
Newp ports, ON'ords AID Low Button
SLIPPERS from - cents up.
Childs' 75c heeled or spring heel fire Hntfou
Infants Z5c, 36c and 35c Button. all rolars.
Gems 81 30 aud - co Solid Button, Laced
and Caters.
Gents 3 80 Calf Bur,on, Laced and Congress.
wears and frs AS well is any pre- |oiiar shoe, IL
guarantee with every pair
Gents 81 60 Solid Kip Brogans and P'ow shoes
4" 81 to s. fine Custom hand stitched Shoes
. Low Ties Button AMI Caters, 81 - up
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01
Prospective Yield and Price OF
Wccat.

WcCat.
From The Duluth Herald.
This morning at the st. Louis hotel
an Evening Herald scribe encDun tcrcd
Mr.. G. s. Barnes, Of Fargo who is prob
ably as much interested in the result OF
lhis years harvest rs any individual in
the Northwest, his interest arising from
the fact that he X one Of the most promi
nent bona f>lc dealers in wheat l)at the
Western country boasts fie is inclined
% take 2 rather conservative view Of the
situation and while sanguine rs to the
average virld, thinks that farmers should
be prepared 10 expect low prices for
their product lie draws his differences
from the fact that a'yices from the
wheat fields, not only Of the Northwest,
but Of the country at large place tn"
avraga prospective yield at an even
higher aggregate 'han the most sancuint'
have imagined. IF any accident should
hapr"n 10 The fast ri pening grain; an ac-
c;'i"nt that would have more than a local
Influence on the situation there mi rht hr
reason Ia expect fa'r prices, h:lt Mr..
Barnes c1ocs not look for auvht else than
a generous yield and consequently bases
his OPTION on what is already in sight
In The vicinity Of Fargo he says the crop
Will be fair hpt out toward Bismarck,
where last year thcre was great def
cicncy, this year there viii he big crop.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

The Northern Pacific railroad has
leased the lines Of the Oregon Rail
way & Navi@at ion company; the lease
is in pcrrctnity and the rental is to be
6 per cent on the stock for two years,
! per cent. for the next three years
and S per cent. thereafter. The
amount of stock upon which these div
:,lenis are to be paid is s24, 900, 900.
The Northern Pacific main line ends
at N~allula. 214 miles from Portland,
and from that point the Oregon Rail-
way < Navigation company system is
used
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01
For The Campaign!

Tic great political battle Of 1891 has
0pened Its events and incidents VIII be
faithfully recorded in the Pioneer Press,
the people, organ Of the great Northwest.
None OF The features that have made
this reliable i"urna1 q welcome visitor
anal household authority will he omitted.
The news from all quarters will lie found
in lis pages Putting the price down to
cost ard allowing 10 commission 10
agents. W" propose special rates 10 the
people on the Weekly Pioneer Press rs
follows:
Single subscription. 3 no. ..>..oI cents
Clubs Of Ave, t. one address, 9 n,0. 81 90
which is only 20 cents for eah sulsc'ib-
~ for 3 ,rnl'hs.
Thi, offer holds good on'ytil sept lst.
1884 Money mAv he sent hy draft, oney
0ni"r. postal nOle or registered letter
Address to PINEER PRESS Co,
It Paul, Minn.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

It is reported that Mrs. Langtry will
soon get a divorce from her English
husband and then marry Fred Geb-
hardt
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

Gov. st. John Of Kansas has been
nominated for president by the prohi-
bitionists, and expects to receive from
500: coo to 1,WN,0 VOTES.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

Frrr1, the Todd Count Argrr
The lhrre machl1c agents in town
nave snld twenty six. lnnwcrs fL,lr.een
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

:1Jsc **:z % .
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

The Army *af ~ttss, Tennessee will
hold it's annual reunion at Lake Min
netonka, this State, on the 18th inst.
Gov. Davis will deliver m Grafton.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

II
The city council Of Chicago has passed
an ordinance a}>olishine contract labor
for prisoners at the city house Of cor
recti0n. The institution has over
! 900 inmates, and it has heretofore
been self suppnrting
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

Stanley, the african explorer, has re-
turned to London.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

Lord Rupertswood Of Victori, is re-
ported to be richer than w. IT. Van
dtrbit. He is worth 5000, 900 900, and
his wealth is rapidly increasing. He
inherited great estate from his faith
er, including millions Of cattle and
sheep in Australia. His residence in
Melbourne is said to be the most mag
r;ficent in the world, and cost 81, ,O00,-
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-08-01

Gov. Clevelanu's mora! character is
receiving considerable criticism.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-11-28
The Washington Monument.

The workmen who are putting the
finishing touches to the Washington
monument have to work very slowly
and carefully, writes correspondent OF
the Philadelphia Rccord. They are ex-
perts in high altitude work. and think
no more of high wind at 500 feet than
would member of the Alpine club.
But the work must be done with the
greatest delicacy, and so cannot be done
rapidly. Nevertheless, Colonel Casey
thinks that it will be finished in time
for the celebration of its completion on
the 22d of February. The keystone is
already in place, and the capstone will
soon be hoisted to the top, there to be
placed in position. Meanwhile a neat
little trade is driven by some of the
workmen in pieces of the granite of
which the monument is composed, every
one of which is credited to the capstone
in order to enhance its value. They
have drawn the outline of the monu
ment on some of the pieces and find no
difficulty in getting fifty cents apiece for
them. In a stationery store down on
Pennsylvania avenue you cat buy more
expensive bits of the monument with
hoWcrs anu even pictures oil the mOnu-
ment painted on them by hand. These
bring from seventy-fve cents to 81. so.
They are the most popular souvenirs of
the day. But they have really very little
relation to the monument itself. They
are simply chips from the granite brought
here to be placed in it. Whether it was
so placed or not must always be as to
any particular piece very problematical.
Colonel Casey makes very proper com
ment on the generally received idea that
when the monument is finished" in Feb.
ruary it will be really completed. OF
caurse, the only thing that will be
finished" in February will be the stone
work. The trimmings and furnishings
will be added next spring and summer.
When actually completed it will have all
the modern conveniences-an elevator or
two, electric bells, electric lights, and
what not beside. But there will be no
twopenny gimcracks on the top. 1t will
be severely simple-a good deal like the
country's father, despite the stories that
they tell about him over the river.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-11-28

A bull fight of a novel kind took place
Mt Tarragona on Sunday last the per
formers being women clothed in the male
torera suit. The bulls were all young
ana full of fire. The first one let into
the arena made straight for one of the
toreras, and sent her spinning in the sand
several yards off. \ second torcra rushed
to the rescue with her capa, which she
waved before the bull to draw off its at
tention from her discomfitted colleague.
The bull accepted the challenge at once.
and with rapid twist of the neck caught
the bandcrilla and sent her flying. She
fell on her face, and followed the previ-
Gus torera in her retirement, bleeding
from several scratches. The third torera
then advanced; but no sooner had the
bull caught sight of her than he bounded
toward her and tossed her. After this
the bull took "A quiet walk around the
arena, waiting for fresh sport. No fur
Their competitor entering the list, the
crowd began to show signs of Impotence,
which grew at every moment, until they
finally began breaking up the seats and
throwing brickbats into the arena. veil
ing anathemas at the cowardice of the
NNiSi" NC'h oitNuIuS lIlCH an
nounced that the money would be re-
turned. This was done partially; but
the cashiers office suddenly closed, that
official having bolted with the rest of
the takings.
A scene of undesirable uproar oc-
CURED when the fact became known, and
the work of demolition was pursued
with increased fury. The gendarmcs
were called in to restore order, but only
succeeded in adding to the general con.
fusion, in which they were roughly
handled. The arrival of three COMPANIES
of infantry enabled the managers to clear
the amphitheatrc. The most extraordi-
nary part of the affair is that, undeterrcd
by the fate of the first company of toreras
and their manager, who were marched
off to prison beside, the workwomcn Of
the tobacco factories of Madrid are pre-
pairing to give an exhibition of their
proves, and a troupe is organizing to
do the round of the arenas in all the
principal towns OF Spain. Galignants
Messenger, Paris.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-11-28
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.

According to French authority, the
vibrations caused by moving railway
train mile distant may make the use Of
delicate astronomical instruments i'm
possible for the time being.
The Greenland whale has a mode of
lngestion somewhat unique, gulping
great volumes of water into its mouth.
and then straining out, through its whale
bone sieve, the smaller animals which
the water may contain.
There is a sort of vine which grows in
Cochin China from tubcrous root Its
stem dies down annually in November,
and shoots oltt again in March From
its fruit kind of wine is produced,
which NJ. Sambuc has examined, and has
found its acdity to be high.
a French savant, Mons. Forcl aflirms
that during the months of July and Au.
gust last a red halo or corona surrounded
the sun, which, though difficult 20 see
at low attitudes, became quite brilliant
at 600 feet above the sea. He witnessed
the phenomenon several times from
heights ranging from 5000 to 10000
feet
The highest velocity that has been i'm
parted to shot is given as 1926 feet per
second, being equal to mile in 80 sec
onds. The velocity of the earth at the
equator, due to rotation on its axis, is
1000 miles per hour, or mile in $50
seconds; and thus, if a cannon ball was
fired due west, and could maintain its
initial velocity, it would beat the sun in
its apparent journey around the earth.
After a visit to some of the Alaska
glaciers, Mr.. Thomas Meehan states that
beneath the Muir glacier, said to be 400
miles long, flows a rapid torrent, which
he estimates to be 100 feet wide and four
feet in average depth, and which runs
summer and winter without interruption.
At its termination the glacier hangs over
the sea, and gives off icebergs. Mr..
Meehan remarks that the great ice sheets
have their lakes, rapids, waterfalls, hills
and valleys; that the Waterways change
their courses at times through melting;
and that melting progresses freely in the
suns rays, but not in the shade.