davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13
A DEMOCRATIC PRESENT.

President-elect Gle velar d, if he should continue the practice of paying return charges on all presents sent him, will, unless business is much better with him than with people in general, be compelled to borrow few dollars ere the fourth of March dawns upon the land. Some of the presents, however, are net likely to be returned, for instance gift like that just forwarded by old Alfonso Clegrove, well-known Arkansaw man with deep voice for pork sausage and keen per ception of ardent spirits. The following letter from Alfonso, like an English joke, may not explain itself, but it is to be hoped that the public will collect enough from it to insure partial understanding of the situation:
 My very dear Mir. Cleveland" writes Mr. Clegrove, " to-day send you a jug of the best and withal the most capering whisky you ever saw. It is not of that languid kind that sends a man into the shadows of drowsiness, but is of the hip, hip, hoorah variety that makes citizen of this great republic feel like seizing a ten pound wedding hoe and chopping the sassafras sprouts from the corners of his fence. see that you have just returned a dog, sent you by a New York man. Your action will meet with the approval ofevery high-minded man, for, my dear MT. Cleveland, what use have you of a dog, and especially of the Newfoundland species. A dog of this breed is only fit for water, and why anyone should mis- take the incoming administration for a water affair is something which cannot exactly rub through my flax into the con- volutions of my active brain. A dog Well, shade of Jackson, protect us. Now, this whisky which send, will be of use to you and your cabinet but if you are of the right stripe, it will have all disap- peared in natural way before the cabi- net appointments are made. don't send it as joke. There is no joke about whisky, let me remark. You ought to appreciate it the more when tell yoa that the man who made it is now serving an extended term in the govern ment prison at Detroit. He is fine fellow, governor, trife cross-eyed, with slightly percephble inclination to stut- ter, but he can eat more hard-boiled eggs than any man you ever saw. If you feel in the humor, after you are inaugurated, you mout turn him out. He would ap- preciate your kindness and would make you more good whisky than you could shake stick at in a month. If an un- healthful pressure of affairs should cause you to return the whisky, please don't forget to pay charpes."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13

AMERICANS are great readers, but they read too much in a miscellaneous way. Some direct line of study should be adopted by every man. Bits of infor- nation gathered here and there are a kind of fifteen puzzle" They cannot be put together in form of usefulness. Men who read nothing but newspapers are often entertaining companions, but they cannot bore you so profoundly as the men who have skipped all rAodern occurrences and ieasted their hungry minds on the exploded theories of great thinkers. The light bore is called a fool |; the heavy bore is known to be a man of great depth. The airy produc- tions of one are rejected by the village newspaper the dull and awkward sem tences of the other are accepted by the leading magazines. So, young man, if you would make your mind do service for your body, take direct line of study.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13
CHAPTER III.


 One evening, just year after Sulla- rura " and Lagson had met, they sat in the editorial room. Mrs Bobbin was read ing the proof of a Christmas story. @Are you not afraid to stay so late, Mrs. Bobbin ?"
 "No, sir. can get on a car almost at the foot of the stair. l would have taken these proof sheets home but un- derstand that the printers must correct the galleys early in the morning." "You look tired. Can l assist youf' "No. sir, have about finished" "Carrie. r." she started. Excuse me" !" She bowed her head, and the editor turned to his work.
 "Well, that much is done," she said, arising. "Are you going home, nowT" @Yes, sr."
 Wait . moment and will accompany you.~
 That would be quite unnecessary, sir. am not afraid"
 Sit down just a moment" "No, haven't time"
 He arose, and after regarding her for a moment, said:
 eCarie-dont turn away Carrie" She looked at him. !" love you" 
 Her eyelids dropped.
 sWhen we were husband and wife,
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13

A GENTLEMEN who recently met Bob Ingersoll, says: "He is large, power ful and fine looking man, but was dis appointed in his nose. Instead of being prominent, creating the impression of strong character, it is insignificant; and seems to refute his utterings." This is indeed a pity. A good nose is a great accomplishment.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13
HAD TO WATCH HER.

An old man and his wife were walking along the street. The wife persisted in looking back every time she passed wo- man.
 What makes you carry on that way P asked the old fellow.
 :" reckon l want to see, Danl"
 But you don't halter act like a COW that's bothered with hoss flies. Folks'll think you never was in town before"
 Well, now, jes' shet your mouth. I come here te see, an I'm goin' to see. You're allus a fussin' an a fussin', and nobody can't have DO peace with you. If l want to see how woman's dress sets it ain't none O your business, so there"
 Wall, if you must see how all the dresses set, let's stand here till everybody gits dun goin' by. It's distressin' to me to see you twist your neck round that way"
 Danl, for the goodness sake, hush. Folks will think that we live like cats an dogs. do think man is the beatenes' thing ever saw. Fuss, fuss from mornin' till night. Now, look at you, what air you gszin' at ?"
 "Lookin' at a set O harness haDgin' up thar"
 "Folks will think you are crazy if you carry on that way"
 Don't mind me-" said the old man.
 "An' don't you mind me" replied his wife.
 "I have to mind you when you twist your neck an hold your head to one side like goose. You're in danger O hurtin' yourself It's business with me, for am lookin' out for set O harness"
 Meeting fashionable dressed, lady the wife looked back, but striking an uneven place on the sidewalk, fell sprawling on the ground.
 ~Thar P exclaimed the old man, with out making an effort to assist her. "Oh, the Lord fetches every thing round all right!"
 "My goodnessi" said the old woman, arising with difficulty, |" it mighty nigh killed me-"
 "Of course it did, an it sarves you exactly right. Reckon you'll know how to act nov, cd ding it. Cape an gaze gape an gaze all the time, it is wonder that you hain't been killed"
 "Dan1, for the Lords sake, don't scold. You don't do nothin' but fuss an fuss all the time"
 The old man did not reply. He was looking at a saddle hanging out in front of shop. Stepping on piece of orange peel, his heels flew up and he came down with an awful thump.
 Good gracious, are you hurt, Dan1 P
 The old man groaned, and scuffling to his feet said: "Hurt? that's a putty question to ask dead man. Wall, this is the last time you ever come to town with me You keep body watchin' you so close he can't see how he walks"
 "Dan1 don't fuss"
 "Come on. Let's git them mules an git outen here. l never saw sich a wc- man in my life"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13

A NEW illustrated paper, the Po,tyayer, something after the order of PHef, has been started at Minneapolis. It is rich in colored pictures and contains much interesting reading matter.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13

IT has been proved that Lord Chief Justice Coleridge, of England, grossly mistreated his daughter, but we should not be too severe on the great man for he said that America is a pretty good sort of a country.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13

IT is to be hoped that the present congress will agree upon an international copyright law. The argument that the public would suffer, in that goed litera- ture would become dearer, is poor way to justify dishonesty.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13

lT is thought that MT. Blaine's defeat will injure the sale of his book. Very likely, put unjustly so, for the work is not intended to be partisan history, but the history of great men and great measures.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13
CHAPTER II.

The next morning, Themistocles Bob bin and his wife separated. Two months later, . decree of divorce vas granted. They bade each other formal goodbye.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:

Aay part of the United States or Cana da, One Year, postage paid, $a.oo Other Countries, One Year postage paid, 300 Postmasters, or others, sending us five or more yearly subscriptions to the ARKANsAw TRAvKLER, may retain as per cent of sub sextpdon price as commission. Requests of subscribers to have their pa peFs mailed to a new address, to secure atten- don must mention former as well as present address.
 Send money by P. O. order, or registered lexfer. Address,
 READ & BENHAM,
 LITTLE ROCK ARK.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-13
TO CONTRIBUTORS,

Under no circumstances will rejected man. uscripts be returned. We do not pay for matter unless it be specially ordered.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20

". ruined bracket that was intend
ed To serve as base. ~ IL were. Of a
lamherquin which eost nine dollars.
aside from the time expended ON Il.
During the month Of March. built
an iee-chest for this summer. II was
not handsome. bat Il was roomy. and
would be very nice for the season ~
1854. thought. Il worked pretty well
through March and April. but as the
weather begins to warm up. the ice
chest Is about the warmest place
around the house. There is actually a
glow Of heat around that ice-chest
that ] don't notice elsewhere. I've
showed Il 10 several personal friends
They seem 10 think II Is not huili tight
~ enough for an ice-chest. Nv brother
looked at II yesterday. and said that his
idea OF an iee-chest was that II ought
To be tight enough ut least 10 hold the
larger chunks Of ice. so that they would
not escape through the pores OF the
ice-hoN. lie SAYS that he never built
one. but IL stood To reason that re-
frigerator Ike that ought TO be con-
strueted SO that 1t would keep the
cows out OF Il. You don't want 10
have u refrigerator that the cattle can
get through the cracks and eat up your
Strawberries on ice, he SAYS.
a neighbOr of mine who built a hen
resort of laths, and now wears thick
thumb.nail that looks like Brazil nut
AS n memento Of that pullet corral SAYS
my ice-chest is all right enough, only
that il is not suited 10 this climate. He
thinks that along Behring'S strait. dur
ing the holidays, my ice.chest would
work like a charm. And even here. he
thought if could keep the fever out
0f my chest there would be less pain.
| have made several ether little arti-
cles of vertu this spring. to the con-
struction Of which have contributed
good deal of time and two finger
nails. ] have also sawed into my leg
two or three times The leg. If course,
will get well, but the pantaloons will
not. Parties wishing to meet me in my
studio during the morning hour will
turn into the alley between Eighth and
Ninth streets, enter the third stable on
the left, pass around my Gothic horse.
and give the countersign and three
kicks on the door in nm ordinary tone
of voice.-Bill Nye in Denver Opinion.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20

A Philadelphia clergyman divided
babies into three classes. viz: First.
there Is the piratical baby with strong
canabalistic tendencies. who tears at
your whiskers and bites your finger
this is the sort of fellow who goes into
politics. His skin is thick and the news
papers never hurt his pride. Number
two is generally fat baby. He Is y
philosopher and usually wears pen
slye 2j,0O0-leagues-under-the-sea express
sion IN his eye, or contemplatiyely si,s
with his toe IN his mouth. He is a iu.
vcnile RIP Van Wrinkle and takes things
easy, The third specimen liz known Nv
bottle baby a get-as-much-as-you-
can baby-a commercial infant with
the speculative instinct of Wander
bilt or u Stewart.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20
The Essential Ingredient.

tiilnooly had another unpleasant
little chat with his landlady. the widow
Flapjack. whose coffee is famous for
being almost as weak as state admin
istration. lie stirred up his coffee, tast-
ed it. and smiled sardonically:
"Perhaps didn't put in any sugar.
Mr.. Gilhoolyp"
~. yea, the sugar is all right"
Il expect | didn't put in enough
milk"
NO. the milk is all right"
"Well, what is lacking. Mr.. CilhOs-
lyY"
Coffee"
1t was very wrong in Gilhooly te
make that sneering remark. He Ger.
tainly cannot expect to be fed on all
the luxuries of the season fol sSO0 =
week.-Texas Siftings
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20
Every Man His Own Carpen-
ter.

In my opinion every professional
man should keep chest of carpenters
tools in his barn or shop, and busy him
self in the odd hours with them con-
structing the varied articles that are
needed about the house. There is a
great deal of pleasure in feeling your
own independence of other trades. and
more especially of tue carpenter.
Every now and then your wife will
want bracket put up in some corner
other, and with your new bright saw
and glittering hammer you can put up
one upon which she can hang Il cast
iron horse. blanket lamberquin. with in
flexible water lilies sewed in it.
A man will, il he tries, readily learn
to do great many such little things,
and his wife will brag on him to other
ladies, and they will make invldious
comparisons between their husbands.
who can't do anything of the kind
whatever, and you who are so "handy,"
Firstly, you buy set of amateur
carpenter tools. You do not need to
say that you are an amateur. The
dealer will find that out when you ask
for an easy running broad-ax or a
greengage plumb line. He will sell you
set of amateurs tools that will be
made of old sheet-iron with bass-wood
handles. and the saws will double up
like piece of stove-pipe.
After you have nailed board on the
fence successfully. you will very natur-
ally desire to do something much bet
ter. more difficult. You will probably
try to erect a parlor table or rustic
settee.
made very handsome bracket last
week. and | was actually proud Of IL.
In fastening it together. If hadn't IN
advertently nailed II to the barn floor
guess could have used it very well,
but. in tearing 1t loose from the harm.
50 that the two could be used separate
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20
NO. IL.
Chinese Hotels.

All Wong. the ex-editor Of the Chi
nese-American o. an odd ash. He IL
one Of the most intelligent Chinese 4
ever met. and when he speaks his easy
How Of language has the accurnpzni.
ment u two sparkling eyes. full of in
telluctual FIRE. We were talking the
other day Of hotels
The finest thing In America. ~ It
struck me-" be- said. lis the hotels. You
don't know how u seems TO China
man, no matter how reared at home. Ia
live In the hotel where he can actually
eat and sleep comfortably"
"Are there no good hotels In ChlnaY-
inquired somebody.
'Oh, yes" replied Wong. "But they
have no beds. Every traveller has to
bring his own bedding with him. and IL
makes a big clumsy outfit. Even IN the
Imperial hotel. at Pekin. they don't
furnish beds--only the place for you
TO put your quite and pillows and
mattresses on
Are there any hotel dead beats In
ChinaY"
No, sir. The man who hasn't rot
bed can't get in the hotel, and the maR
who has bed can't get away by the
window or the front doorway without
being seen. They can't play the trunk
screwed.to-the-floor trick ON the land
lords ia China.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20
The Advance of Photography.

A Cleveland inventor, named Fell
has perfected an invention by which Il
photograph can be taken on any sub.
stance which has smooth surface,and
the expense need not be over cent II
picture. This would advance the
photographic art wonderfully as there
will no longer he any transfer by hand.
which IL clumsy and tedious, for now
the picture can he taken ut once on the
stone. from which duplicates can he
multiplied indefinitely. The inventor
thinks this new process is wonderful.
and will be as useful in it's way. as the
electric light or the telephone.--De-
morest's Monthly.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20

"Whoa," cried the driver of an emi-
grant wagon, as he drew up in front of
q general store in a dldpldated south
ern Illinois village. Hellow stranger.
Is thar a lawyer in this ere town?"
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20
The Clans G altering.

"Where Is the barp" asEed a gentle
man hurriedly. as he registered at u
Chicago hotel.
"lust around to the left. sir"
Where is the bar?" asked anothet
gentleman at the same place. u moment
later.
"Just around to the left. sir
where is the ba--"
Just around to the left. sir. By 1ove."
the clerk continued, "the democratic
delegates are heginning to come in
Phila. Call.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20
To Destroy Red Ants.

Grease n plate with lard. and set u
where the ants congregate. place u
few bits Of wood so the ants can get
on the plate easily; they will forsake
any food for lard. when the plate is
well covered with them. turn IL over Il
hot fire OF Goals; they Will drop nntc
the 6rp. and yor can reset the plate FIR
smother catch. ! few repetittons All,
clean them out.
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20
A Paradise.

"Whoa," cried the driver of an emi
grant wagon, as he drew up in front OF
4 general store in "a dildpldated south
ern Illinois village. Helow stranger
Is thar a lawyer in this ere town?"
"No."
"Ary editor2"
mo"
"Court- t-Housep'
"No."
"Church.house2'
mo"
"What air they hereY"
"Storen postoflice n s'loon."
Air that all 2"
"Yes."
Git out. Sal. Right hyars whar we'll
hang out. Wen squat at this partic'lar
pint. Say stranger; I've hen pettyfog-
gin an exhortin' an tryin' to make AN
honest living 'thout work for more'n
twenty years, an this air the fust place
| have struck where they seemed to be
no opposition. an whar Ii looks like I'd
be s'ported. Git out Sal, an unload the
chil'en. Guess we've mighty nigh hit
the right place this time"
"Ilol' on" said the proprietor of the
store. "Jes' wait u bit while tell yer
why ther aint no lawyers nor uuthin'
hyar. Leven years back we he'd a
preacher an let i'm starve Nine years
ago we had Il lawyer AN we hung him.
Seven years ago we had justice of the
peace. but we got up one morning an
found him at his desk with bullet hole
through his pate. -Four vars ago fell
tuck up school in that cabin yender on
the hill. but one of the boys knitted him
at the fust spelia' school. fen months
ago, smart young chap from Virginia
started singin' school: but the third
time. some yahoos from the barrens
come over an skelped i'm. About five
months arter thet, book-peddler war
baptized in the creek till he quit a
bluberin'. an last Chuesday. IA feler got
up writin' school; but he war froze
TO death with club OH the way home
from thet very fust meetin'. Yer kin
locate If yer wanter. stranger but busi-
ness air mighty dull. an don't feel
like akin yer ter stay I yer wanter go
90 on"
''Sal, git back IN, an load up the hrats.
| furgot to AK about ther health o ther
place. Reckon we'll go whar ther amt
so much malaria Through Mail.
While scattering few crumbs for
The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-06-20

While scattering few crumbs for
the sparro ws this severe weather don't
forget to throw out lot of old tomato
cans. barrel hoops and cast.off shoes
for the poor goat. which has as much
right to live as the i,npurtcd feather, d
biped.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-09-06

N The undersigned, assignee OF Herman
Miller, will offer at Pubic Saleon sATuR-
the Leopard Hotel, East hing street city OF
Lancaster, the following described property,
to wit:
l. Lot OF ground on the south side OF East
King Street, adjoining and Immediately east
OF property OF Dennis Croneu, running thence
10 feet, more or less, eastward. and from a
depth OF 1870 feet, more or less, ut Its extreme
western limit in "A northCasterly direction to g
point on East King street Thereon erected
are the following buildings. ia wit:
No. l. one One.Story Rough CAST
DWELLING HOUSE, No Gl0, fronting on
East King street, 81 feet, more or less, win lot
running back southwaru At It's western limit,
to depth OF $50 feet, more or less. said house
contains six rooms with well, hydrant and
NOS. one Two-story BRICK SLATE ROOF
DWELLING, fronting on East King street, -
feet, with lot running southward al its west
ern limit to a depth OF llO feet, moro or less,
containing vesuOule, hall, eight rooms,
kitchen. bathroom and two garTets, furnace
In IN cellar range, with hot and cold water, IN
kitchen, bathroom, with tub, hot and cold
water and water closet, gas throughout the
house, including cellar, and best of sewerage.
This property being No. 6l2 East King street.
No 3. Two TwoNStory BRICK BUILDINGS,
Nos Ga and SIG East King street, each - feet,
more or less, front on East King street. with
lot running back southwark to the extreme
limit OF lot described herein. Said buildings
were formerly occupied and used as tam
merry.
This property will be sold as a whole or IN
three parcels as described, to suit purchasers
IL. a double two-stOry part brick part
frame building, Nos S5l and S5S, on the south.
east side of Church street, No. 35l containing
hall, rooms, kitchen, garrett, cellar, hydrant,
No. SS3 containing stOrerOom, three other
rooms, Kitchen, hall, garret, cellar, hydrant
the whole lot fronting ON Church street, 81
feet, 3inches, ana extending In depth soutl
eastwardly lOj feet. more or less. Will be sold
together or separately to suit purchasers.
Ill two story FRAME DWELLING q
HOUSE, fronting on the west side OF sherman
| street, east OF Plum, Il feet. 9iuchcs running
westward TO IA depth OF SO feet more or less
| containing six rooms, garret, cellar, witt
pump in yard.
| ". Two building Lots, situated on the
| north side of East King street, or Philadelphia
| and Lancaster turnpike, Lancaster township
late OF the Clark estate, Lot No. l60 con
tanning in front on said East King street, o
Philadelp pnia and Lancaster turnpike, q feet
I and extending in depth northward 20s feet e
Clark street.. Lot No. 81. situated on the souti
side OF East Orange street, Lancaster town
| ship, containing in 'front.' on said East Orang,
| street, 81 feet, extending in depth southwark
l2O feet, TO a li.teet wide alley.
Persons may view the properties and To-
particulars apply to the undersigned or hi
| attorney, MIR. J. Hay Brown.
| sale to commence At O'Clock, y. IN, wheT
attendance will be given and terms made
| known by a. ADLER,
| aa6. 2O27d Assignee.