davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12
The Talking Sex.

Perhaps it is the way their tongues
are built. If it is physical peculiaritv,
the rest of the world ought to be willing
to accept matters and the sex without
complaint We have referred to women
:, as the laughing sex, and have specu-
lated about the causes for the eternal
grin and giggle which are character
istics of even the best of them. But
along with the necessity of laughing
that seems born into the feminine sex,
there is another equal necessity of talk
ing. A woman can't even buy half
dozen stamps without making three
times rs many words over it as q man
would. If she can't get the seats she
wants at the box Office of theater, she
invariably thinks it necessary to ex-
plain at full length why she doesn't
want those in the orchestra circle and
why she did want the others. If in the
transaction of any business she comes
to q conclusion she never thinks it suf-
ticient to announce the conclusion I'M
supported. She always goes back to
the beginning of the process of thought
and emotion by which she arrived at
the end and insists in telling it to the
very last step.
Ii is of no use trying to stop her or
turn her off the track or make her for
get about it. She thinks she has been
thinking and she means to tell all about
it. She is feebly conscious that her in
tellectual machinery has been at work,
and she can no more keep from making
the fact known than hen can conceal
the fact that she has laid an egg.
1t must be that women's tongues are
self-cocking and are intended by nature
to go off whenever the brain moves.
That is the only explanation for the SUI
periuity of talking which women always
seem impelsed to do. 1t is physical
necessity, along with their laughing
and the peculiar wobble with which
they always try to run, and the unex-
planned use of their arms and hands
when they carry an umbrella. They
can't help it. Nature made them so,
and if they didn't laugh three-fourths
of the time, and talk three times as
much rs is necessary, to say nothing Of
using twice as many words as are need
full. perhaps they would die. -~Bcstos
gi0bt
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

What is said to be the true story Of
the postponems mt of the wedding OF
Hugh j. .lawett's daughter Julia and
the subsequent breaking of the engage
ment with young Nc oEmick, of the
great mower and reaper concern at hi
cago, is just lightning to / e talked
about at the clubs in New York. TIE
wedding was to have taken place some
three or four months ago. Mccormick
came on three weeks before the day set.
In that time he managed to SO offend
his afanced's sense of propriety ty
boasts OF his wealth and other similar
gaucheries that lie became actually of
fensive to her. She told her sister she
should never forgive herself if she MAJ
ried him. Her father was absent from
home, bat her brothers insisted that it
would disgrace the family for r at
that day to throw Mccormick over,
and wen lie reluctant consent to let the
ceremony take place. MIR. .lewett got
home on saturday night before the
Wednesday ser for the wedding. When
he learned of the change in his daugh-
ters affection he sad there was only
one rule by which he should be
guided. Ifshe did not love the man
she should not marry him. As for any
disgrace involved in acting under such
iule, he, as the lead of the family.
was prepa. ed to meet it. 1t is sad the
toys felt rather cut up at their fathers
decision, as they had hoped much from
the union of two such prominent ia ID
lies. Tut every body whose opinion is
worth ha ing conmends Nj. Jewett's
action.-N. y, Tribune
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

IT makes every humanitarian sad to see
invalids seek such relief as is given them
by the use of bitters, kidney medicines,
and other nostrums. The first few doses
may make them feel bstter on account of
its Supplying ingredients, combined with
some strong cathartic and diuretic that are
used in its composition, but they eventual
ly grow worse. The only cure for weak
ness, nervousness, debility, aches, pains,
rheumatism. sores, urinary and digestive
troubles, is to make the blood rich, red and
pure, by using DR.. Guysott's Yellow Dock
and Sarsaparilla, remedy widely In
dorsed by physicians who have examined
into its composition and effect.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12
FARM AND r1REs1DE.

Onion salad: Mix thoroughly equal
quantities of mashed potatoes and
onions boiled until they too can be
mashed almost smooth. Season with
pepper and salt and butter. -Erchange.
Mating is not put on floors now in
straight breadths, plaid or bright col
ored piece being tackled all around tho
floor and square of the same in the mid
die. the rest being filed with plain
white, or any individual taste is carried
out to lay it in rug-like manner
Chicago Journal
"A little freedom in the evening,
after hard days work, is greatly en-
joyed by horses. and it certainly does
them good. Their entire system is
bent in but the one direction during the
day while at work, and a change from
that in the way of good romp and
not but be beneficial.
I'm the Michigan Farmer farmer
tells how he manages to conquer Cam
ada thistles by the aid of his 200 sheep.
He puts a small handful of salt on
each thistle at the root. The sheep eat
the thistle close TO the ground. The
sailing is repeated as often as may be
necessary, and the thistle seldom ap-
pears the second year:
Bread and Butter Pudding-Slice
bread. spread with butter and lay it
in deep dish with currants between
each layer; add sliced citron, orange or
lemon, if to be very nice; pour over u
boiled custard favored to your taste at
least two hours before it is to be baked
and dip it over to soak the bread; just
before dinner bake quickly.-N Y.
Times.
A Tennessee woman writes: La
dies, have something to tell you that
| Gf you dislike picking chicken as
much as do) you will be delighted to
hear. A lady told me that a frying
chicken is just as good if skinned as it
is picked. tried it and was delighted.
AS soon as the chicken is killed skin it,
| beginning at the craw. After it is
Toured over and fried you cannot tell
the differepce.
"A Maine housewife sends this
recipe for baked dish, sort of what
is-it. Make nice short crust for a
deep dish, roll it thin, then put in pork
cut In tiny pieces. then layer OF
potatoes, pepper and bit of salt, un-
less your pork is quite salt. Fill the
dish, then add milk enough to cook
according to size of dish; put on top
crust and bake, and if the grumblers
don't say it is good, it shows they don'i
know what is what.-Boston Post.
| "A writer in the Rural New Yorke,
contends that ''by planting corn at the
earliest safe moment we not only in.
crease the chances that the crop will
receive the necessary number of degrees
of accumulated heat during the warm
season, but the number of hours of sun
shine as well, and, what is of nearly as
much Importance, we advance the
epoch of blossoming several days, and
by SO doing hasten maturity by several
weeks. This is new anil surprising
statement to many. but it is, neyerthe'
less, o correct one"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

SPARTANBuRG, s. c., March Is, 1884.
Your most valuable medicine (SwIFT's
SPEcIFIc) has done me SO much good that
l feel like saying this for the benefit Of
those who suffer like did. Twas poisoned
by POISON OAK, and saw not well day for
six years, until / used SwIFT's SPECIFIC.
In the six years used almost every kind
of medicine, but none had the desired effect.
After using six bottles of SwIFT's SPECIFIC
am restored t. perfect health-,cith not a
sign of that d,cfaf poison left!
Yours Truly, DAVID NESBfTT.
Treatise ON Blood aud Skin Diseases
mailed free. The SWIFT SPECIFIC Co.,
Drawer 3. Altar Ia Ga.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"A printer who died in Charity Hos
pital, New York, the other day, asked
for chew of tobacco only short time
before his ''form'' was closed. About
a week previous to that a consumptive
died who was mere skeleton, so weak
for days that he could hardly raise his
hands, much less his body. Yet one of
his last requests on the day he died was
for tobacco. He had used it steadily
and could not be kept from it.-N. Y.
San.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Sneesing, snudling and coughingi This
Is the music all over the land just now.
And will be until June. I've got such an
awful cold in nay head" Cure It with Ely's
Cream Balm or it my end in the toughess
form OF Catarrh. May be you have cstar1'h
now. Nothing is more nauseous and dread
full. This remedy masters it Is no other
ever did. Not snuh nor a liquid. APP
piled by the finger to the nostrils. Pleas.
ant, certain. radical.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Elaborate hinges are considered
important. In one new house in st.
James Place, Brooklyn, where each
room is beautifully finished with diff
ferent wood. the brass figures on them
in relief represent Chinese with open
umbrellas on black ground. A nov
city is to have plated handle inside
1t windows 10 open and shut the blinds
~ VIII without opening the window.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Mr.. d. H. BARNABY, Of Owcgo, N. r,
says that his daughter was taken with q
violent cold which terminated with Pners-
monia; the best physicians gave tho case
up, when friend recommended DIR. WIN.
HALLS BALsAM FOR THE LUNGS. She ac-
cepted it as last resort, and was surprised
to find marked change, and by persever-
ing a permanent cure was Effected.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"A Nebraska farmer. who has been
experimenting with Kentucky blue
grass, con ludes that all Northern Ne
braska will prove to be one of the finest
tame grass countries in the world.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

THs chance concoctions of ignorant men
have sometimes brought disrepute not only
on their own worthless medicines that do
serve no credit, but sometimes, with much
injustice, ON really reliable preparations.
Ladies should not hesitate about Mrs. Pink
hams Vegetable Compounj, for this RENE
dy has been tried proven and praised fo1
years.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

LET the hairy-headed citizen display his
charms and speak with sneers and ridicule
of his less favore d brother, but let him re-
member meanwhile that the proud emblem
Of our glorious c,untry is bald-headed
eagle.-Rosf0n Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12
CURE OF r
Roc

I am q carpenter.
up with Rheumatism
drove sleep from my
life burden. After
months IL vain all kinds of remedies o,
physicians, vas induced by Michael Hol-
land, our Postmaster, to try BRAxDRErH's
PILLS. He said they cured him after q
year of suffering. / took six pills every
night for three nights; then l took two
pills every night for ten days. At the end
CT fifteen days was entirely well. Oc-
casionally have q slight twinge after be-
ing exposed to dampness or wet, but two
pills taken every night for four days
drives it away. JAMES HENRY.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

SOME of our baseball players seem to
have been vaccinated. They can't catch
anything.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12
RocKAwAY BEACH. N. Y, |
Inn "a 1874.

The statement in the foregoing letter
made by James Henry, l know to be true,
as l, also, know it to be true that BRAvD-
RETH's PILLS cured me OF . terrible at
tack Of rheumatism which had confined
me to the house for several months. /,
however, took two pills every night for .
month.
MICHAEL HOLLAND, Postmaster,
Oceanus Post Office.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"WHAr sort of place is that, pa p
asked a little boy of his male parent while
they were out walking. ''That's a beer
garden" 81 didn's know beer grew in
gardens" there's great deal OF it
raised bin gardens, my son--Ieras SIT
in0s.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"TRUsr men and they will be true to
you," said Emerson. Bat then this opin-
Ion was not founded on keeping the sub
scription list of q newspaper. OIL City
Derrick.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"WILL the youngest girl in the room
please rise," said school Superintendent
in q rural district. Every female stood
up, including the Observation-Disclosures
Free Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Prof.. HeImholtz calculates that
the solar system has been in existence
for 50e, 100000 years. moe liberal
allowance than that of certain English
physicians Y. Times,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

A YOUNG man sticking close to his girl
Of court-Plaster. Philadelphia Call
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

TIE man at the wheel has a stern duty to
DECENTRALIZATION Commercial Balletin.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

LORDS are not much thought of in thi 8
country; but counts have great deal 70
do with American ballot-boxes.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"THFRE's one thing about me-" said
young Fastboy, ''that is always on time.''
Il know" sail his friend, ssyour Clothes -
Aud Fastboy said that wasn't just what he
was going to say, but it was srue, never
theless.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

|, s.samaritan Nerrine cured our child fits: Tho
doctors failed" Henry Knee. Verrlla, Tenn.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

LUABLE AND CoxvENIENT.-BR
,cHIAL TRocHEs are safe ant
w Tor al troubles of the Thro
Sold only In bo1es. 25 cts.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"YoUSG man, said the landlord, :" al
ways eat thu cheese-rind." And the new
boarder replied: Just SO; / am leaving
this for you"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Is IT dynamite or dy-namite?' Take .
chunk of it and throw it on the floor ami
see.-Kentucky State Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

SoNE unknown persons recently stola 4
locomotive in Vermont. Il u supposed
they he'd : tender sttschmsnt Tor 4 y<-Ypr
rtstoea Herald. = =
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

LIFE is stort-only four letters in it.
Three quarters Of it Is s'lie" and half OF
it is an ssif." Put this on "lle" ii you
would as slief. "-ErchaRgc
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

MAMMA, want to see what Is n that
box" "There isn't anything in it, Iom.''
30, then / want to see what there isa't in
it,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Rough on Corns." 15c. Ask for IT, Com
plete cure.h hard or soft corns, warts. bunions.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

THrKvEs ON the stage are always caught
In the act.-IadianapOii Scissors.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

APArIESr says humor in the stomach Il
not funny.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

A WESTERN paper heads an ar icle
"Crumbs OF Crime.o They came from too
much Of . loaf.-N. ]. Graphic.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

In search of the spring lamb-ths stock
broker.-Boston Courier.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Honey of Horehound and 7
x-...- silences distressing cough. T
toothache drops cure in one minute.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

"PARALYzEDp persons permanently cured. =
Guaranteed by the proprietors Of Sdn'drt-
tan Nerriac.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

FIGUnEs cannot lie, but they can stand
for great deal that Is not so.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

IT is the feeblest moustache, Is well as
the sickliest child, that gets the most fond
ling.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

READING that is bad for the eyes--vc
umes Of smoke.-Philadelphia Chronicle.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

Skinny Men. "Wells' Health .3enewers re
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, 81
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-07-12

A BASE deceivcr Is ct for nothing blu
playing ball.-N. o. Picdyunc.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1884-12-28
TWO KINDS OF Reeoem

The New York Sun verv properly
eiassities the two kinds Of reform pro-
posed. The civil service reform. 4,
thinks is but little more than the white.
washing of present incumbents. The
true reform, It says, consists In the i.
nvh Of those in position and the sub
8 tuition of others who have differen,
ideas and belong to a party of different
principles from those who have been
tue st'psndiaries of a republican ad.
ministratiop.
THERE'S much truth in what the Sun
says, and II is very difficult to under.
stand why just at this Juncture the cry
should BIO raised Of political proscrip.
ton. For years 1t has been the rule at
washington, and Democrat was no
more = factor in government affairs than
IN African. Lake the Irish, he was nd.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1884-12-28
Mr.. Beecher as Minister to England.


In answer to a New York Times re-
porter's question about the rumor that
he was likely to succeed Minister Low
ell at the court of St. James, Mr..
Beecher said: IL did think that the
very depths of folly had been attained
long ago, but this goes a little deeper.
You might mention a. a companion
truth TO this report that the emperor Of
China has offered to present 100 white
elephants TO the BRUSH government,
through the ruler of Bombay. if the
provisions Of he Clayton-Buiwer treaty
are maintained, ana you can put in as
much more nonsense as you please"
To Star reporter Mr.. Beecher is re-
ported as saying: Its ridiculous. I'm
not looking for any Office under Mr..
Cleveland, nor do expect any, nor is it
likely that he will offer me one, nor
would accept any. l supported MIR.
Cleveland because | thought it best for
the country, and do not want any re-
ward for IL. Right here | wish YOU
would say-aud you can repeat il as
often as you liGe-that | am not using
my influence 10 obtain Office for any one
under the now administration, and Ii is
useless Tor persons to apply to lse."
"Have you had many applications ?"
MANY? Well, l guess about all the
postoiiicss in the country are represent
ed, and | have had as many as tifJy men
day call here at my house and ask me
TO use my influence or write letters in
thelr behalf TO the new president, bur |
nave declined TO do so, aud shall not"
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1884-12-28
4 Rare Specimen,

a man named Lack, while superin-
tending some works in the Enclosure of
Burton crescent on Saturday, had his
attention attracted by bright object
among some old timber. On closer ex-
animation he discovered that 1t was a
snake of large size, OF brilliant emer-
AID green color 10 has got its head
fastened between TWO iron bars. Not
knowing whether the animal was alive
or dead, Lack struck il several severe
blows with a stick on the vertebra,
which either killed or stunned it. He
then conveyed IL 10 q naturalist, who
was also uncertain whether it was dead
or in a torpor; bur, seeing that il was of
venomoas species, he pr cured some
spirit, in which it was placed. In the
meantime Mr.. Tyrrell, who has charge
o. the reptiles in the y biological gardens,
WIS communicated With, and when il
Was shown To him, he declared it to be
the first specimen of the Kind ever seen
in London. 1t is native of Central
Africa, and generally found among the
trees. II is : feet 10 inches in length,
the body being 5 inches In circumier.
ence.-lSt. James Gazette.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1884-12-28
Slavery In the soud.n.


Writing from Wady Halfa on the 18th
OF November, the special corresponds I
OF the Manchester Courier gives some
details respecting slavery in the Sou.
dan:
"Above Assouan the existence NJ s,.-
very has been brought 10 light nv ssvc.
raj incidents in connection with the az
petition. One occurred when the Tbir.
,y-elghth were coming up the river.
When the steamer tied up at Kescb for
the night some of the men went ashore.
ana stumbled over a poor Nuhian lei.
tered and fastened TO x stake, They re.
ported the matter In the colonel. vii, M
daylight sent ashore and brought the
man aboard. His ieet were 50 close
" referred that he could scarcely walk
ana MS back was lacerated Tbey
SET Nun on skylight while the armorer
OF the regiment struck of the fet,srs
with cold chisel. Mai. Woodhall told
me that the poor slave showed no emo.
non whlle this WAS going on, so hone.
les ana crushed were hi, spirits. An.
other lad, lsscerated and BLEEDING al
came on board aud sought the nrotac.
ton OF the flag OF Brit ain, and was VOL.
coined, Another incident happenad
Yesterday. A Nubian employed by ths
hrtliiery With the camels was pnrsnaj
Oy MS master and lid for protection ~
the direction OF ,ien. Woods hea1onar
Iers' lie was subsequently seized ana
would have been carried of, had bs no,
oeen rescued by Mai. J. II. Dawrie vhc
lnteriered. Col. Duncan Informs ma
mat since he came TO Egypt upward ~
LUZ slaves have been similarly freed
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1884-12-28
"English Nedn in the Tolls.

The authorities recently learned that
English Ned notorious plck-pocket
of New York, had arrived in this city
He had been seen operating around the
Broad street station with a shawl on his
arm. On Wednesday afternoon Percy
w, Allen, formerly a secret-seryice
agent, living at No. 5l6 Ml1fllu street,
saw the thief try to rob the caba of Mrs.
5. z. Kennedy, of Cape May, in a
crowd, at Eighth and Chestnut streets.
Yesterday the plck-pocket reappear@d
in the crowd, and Mr.. Allen handed him
over to Reserve Officer DOugherty.
When arraigned before Magistrate
Smith, the prisoner gave the name of
Joseph Lannes, and mis- residence at
Montreal, Canada.
What is your buSiness?" asked the
court.
81 am linguist, and deal in landscape
paintings" was the reply.
LET me see your forks, said the
magistrate, meaning the hands OF the
prisoner.
my what, sir7" inquired Lannes.
"Gou're tiy," remarked the court.
Mr.. Allen testified to the facts OF the
arrest.
"There was = great crowd, sir" said
the prisoner, land man with your
honor's experience must surely know
that persons are liable to mistakes"
Gle is English Ned pickpocket.
and his name is in the Rogues' gallery
in New York." interrupted Mr. Allen.
Tire man is making false accusa-
ton, insisted the prisoner.
81 knew YOU to be thief fifteen years
ago." continued MIR. Allen.
"lf SO, prove IT," angrily snapped the
accused.
81 III satisfied you're thief" re-
marked the magistrate, "sud I'll hold
you in $3.50 bail Tor court Philadelp hia
Press.