South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-04-25

tue ass; and they saddled him. -
A firm having used q TYNE writer in
conducting their personal correspon.
dcnce department, received q letter from
an indignant customer, saying, i want
you to understand that you n eedn', print
letters sent to M. i can read writing
--eren yours and don want to be
insu!ted by reflections Oh my education.'
A iull.oearded grandfather recently
had his beard shaved of, showing a
clean face for the first time for a num-
Der OF years. At the dinner table his
tdree year old granddaughter noticed it,
gazed long with wondering eyes, and
finally calculated, Grandfather, whose
head you got on p
Miss A. Somebody's in the mex.
room. 1 wonder what they are doing.
I've good mind TO peep Miss 3.
On! l wouldn't; It isn't right Miss
a. Il don't care; Pm just dying to
know (puts eye to keyhole, but lmme-
diately. takes it away dsconcerted).-
HIM! the key is in Miss b. Yes;
SO found before you came in
One morning u party came into the
public rooms of Buxton somewhat later
than usual, and requested some tongue.
They were told that Lord Byron had
eaten it all. Il am very angry with his
lordshiP, said lady, loud enough for
him to hear the observation. Il am sor-
~ for it, madame retorted Lord BY
ron; but before ate the tongue l was
assured you did not want it,
a jolly looking Irishman was saluted
with the remark, Tim. your house is
blown away Deed, thin, ii isn't he
answered, for have the kay in my
pocket
Love is blind Maybe that's why
The gas is 81 often turned down in the
parlor when love takes possession. Be-
cause why, love being blind there is no
sense in wasting gas TO make light for it.
DO you think said the Judge to the
prisoner. 'that il suspend judgment ald
give you another chance, you could be
gin the life OF an honest citizen 2 Il
do returned the culprit gratefully, con
one condition What is that asked |
the court. That you'll lend rue i've
dollars to start on
i filed the BILL said Willie, when he
got into his mothers preserve closet.
And / foot the bill remarked papa
the soliloGuy.'
The proprietor Of city bone factory
announces tina. persons leaving their
bones with him can have them ground |
at short notice.
Ella wants to Know sc we can't tell |
her what the Knights of the Bath are
Usually Saturday nights, dear.
Yes, Mary she said, am going to
have q cream-colored summer silk, pro.
viding pa does not veto tic appropria-
ton bill ma has passed.
Ethel said the teacher. whom do the
ancients say supported the world on his ,
shoulders 2 Atlas, sir = You are quite
right said the teacher; Atlas support
cd the world. Now who supported At
las ? i suppose, said Ethel, Il sup
pose he married rich wife
A bantering acquaintance of the 9th .
or sex remarked TO woman, i never
heard of seven devils being cast out OF
man. No was The reply, they've
got 'em yet
a little girl, aged nine, Gale her fa-
Their to her bedside the other evening".
Papa, said the little diplomat, Il want
to ask your advice well, my dear.
what is it about z What DO you think
it will be best to give me on my birth
day 2
We'll. sir. said fellow citizen 10 a
friend, Il never was so insultod in my
life. why, was down in Washing:
ton last week and one fellow he'd tho
impudcnce to ask me i'll WASH. Con.
gresham
'Ob, don't propose TO nc now shrek. /
cd Philadelphia girl az her lover drop. |
ped on Lis knees and seized her hand. |
Don't pop the question nowr she
screamed don't, don't, don't. Ii ! say
yes, you will want TO kiss me. and I've
been eating onions Then she broke
into food Of tears that sounded like
an Ohio river breaking througba love
An Alabama wiiower with twenty
ono Chitlron hoe i,p4 rro..:.l . -.