The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-06-13

WHY WE LAUGH.
The price Of an Ohio man is S15. At least
Lha. is what the, medical colleges are pay.

The price of an Ohio man is s15. AT least
tha. is what the, medical colleges are pay.
ing. #.
The secret of Grant & Wards failure is
out. Young Grant had 5000 shares Of stock
in the Keely motor.-OH City Derrick.
The Oil City Blizzard is responsible for
the statement that strawberries and cream
make girls "freckled and cause them to toe
in."
| The Irish peasant Is described by his ad-
mirers as natures noblemen." He evident
| ly belongs to the srrah stocracy of nature
| Post-Erpress.
This is the season when the frugal hen is
| disposed to sit and mediate three or four
| days on her eggs before surrendering them
| for restaurant and boarding house use.
The Port Townsend Argus announces the
coming ofan actor, and says: "Critics agree
that he can just knock the speckled socks off
anything we've had In that line lately"
ayes, indeed, she's a daisy" remarked a
young broker, discussing the charms of
| certain young lady. "She dazes you, appar-
entity" replied his friend.--OH City Derrick.
An exchange says Strawberries are now
within the reach of ALL" That's so, but who
wants to 60 to Jail just for stealing little
box Of sour strawberries ?-Briington Free
Press.
Owing to the crazy-quilt mania, society
young men on small incomes have been
obliged to fall back on the old black tie. II
is too narrow for patch and too black to be
attractive.--PoSt.
"Jim Keene kept private barber and he
fatl la1 Far liy,rx tot tI,a Ia
delphia Call. The next time Mr.. Keene
will keep the $4,000, 900 and let the private
barber fail Graphic.
eyes," sighed a broken down mar who
had given his signature to oblige friend,
"the most foolish thing ever did in my life
was to learn to write my own narhe."-N Y.
Commercial Aduertiser.
The city is full of rafLsmen and the RATS.
men are inclined TO be full of whisky. They
make their money on the Allegheny and
spend it on old Monongahela, That's what
they're rafter.--PittSburg Chronicle. Tele-
gram.
An old lady from the country goes for the
first time to the opera. After few solos the
troupe all sing together. "Ah J" remarks the
old lady, "they don't care, now that they
have our money. See, all singing together,
so that they may get through sooner
Paris Figaro.
A shrewd drummer who stopped with a
rural friend to save his board and lodging
says he beat the spare room business by hav-
ing good nights rest therein without catch
ing cold. When asked how hs said he
avoided the bed and slept in the bath tub
Waterloo Observer.
Noah, poor man, never knew what 1t was
to slip down into the cellar of the ark when
the boys were in the kitchen, with beer
mug under his coat-tail, TO come up with a
satisfied expression, observing that he had
'just been down TO see If them taters were
sproutin'. ~ Chicago Sun.
man having built a large house was at a
loss what TO do with the rubbish. His Irish
steward advised him to have pit dug large
enough to contain it,. sand what" said he,
up from DO with TtA sRf 9ae esgR Rat WtG WfG
great gravity, replied: Have the pit made
large enough to hould ALL"