Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-09-04
The Annual Elegy Of Grief"
\ VERY WITTY SPEECH.

Mr.. J. i. Dolliver was temporal, Chair
man Of the recen; Iowa Republican Conven-
ton. lie was notified of this selection only
a few minute. before taking the chair. HIS
address took the audience by storm. 4 few
extracts will be read with interest Mr..
noliver i, only a6 years of age and is the
recognized leader Of the Young Republicans
of Iowa.
SURF CURE FOR POLITICAL DYSPEPSIA.
Gentlemen Of the Iowa Republican Con-
vention-Out of the abundance of nv heart
| thank YOU for the honor which YOUR favor
has conferred upon me. Ii builds up N ans
political constitution to take front view of
the fighting strength Of the Republican
party Of Iowa. If any of you have friends
that are bothered with political dyspepsia,
who find trouble in selecting from the print
ed bill Of fare of Republican politics. advise
YOU TO bring them here and lei them look
IN the face Of this magnificent assembly.
Your conventions have always been delIber-
ative, your formations representative. YOUR
campaigns popular. and YOUR hallot-boxe,
too full for utteranoe of straight Republican
tickets. Consequen. Democrat has not
been seen on the streets OF an Iowa city at
ter 9 o'clock on election night for quarter
Of a century. The music Of the telegraph
Office has been their annual eiegy of grief
they look upon a buletin board a. an enc
nv Of free government, ami accept the first
half of FranklIns maxim. 'early 10 bed.
when the returns ar, coming IN.
TIE PKESIpEN .iAL NoNENrITY.
Tie fr,, act Of toe Democratic party 4, to
file schedule in bankruptcy. Alrrady
b.-fr -. .,trf - rh.fr
Their national standard is III the hands of a
man whose name j. not disclosed by the
Democratic national record. Four wears
ago hi name could have prudt atty been
used as an alias under which to travel m
cognito all over the known world outside of
Buffalo 10 elect him Prcsden, would be ike
ending money TO stranger on the tram
Il take> the cheek Of the Democratic man
ayers TO play the whole American people
FOX suckers. ] hank God that We belon. to
a party that saves the crown OF It, public
honor for the brow e It's aciua! leadership
Win the Democrat part, nominations are
made not much 10 represent the party ~
to disguise II. In it, long struggle fer ex-
.>teuCe the men who have made the history
Of the party go 10 tie wall. Il i, the only
party that ever existed whose candidates and
platform never throw any light whatever
either on is management or it. faith In
:ac; modern Democrats Of the practical school
have no creed except the oath Of office.
The AUGEAN STABLES.
All the important Democratic principles
are unfit for use. They have been left DAT
IN the field just where they were used last.
with not even bunch of swamp grass
thrown over them. in sun or rain, until rot
and rust have done their fatal work II is
true they talk pious., Of the need Of reform.
and with an inexcasa1le libel accuse the IN
ieglty of the Republican civil service.
They work their favorite classical allusion
to the Aegean stable. for all there is IN it,
These. they assert, must be cleaned out
Yet from the general appearance Of the
crowd that is on hand to do the business,
the average citizen is likely to conclude that
their intention is 10 steal the fork rather
than clean out the barn.
THE GREAT LOCAL Is>UE.
1t is true they pre-empt oil SIDES Of the
tariff question. Thr, profess 10 settle that
issue by j4rEon OF words without prec-
edeni in the ANIMAL, Of nonsense and confi-
sion. You might well try 10 fit the hun
dred headed dog Of the ancient fable with
straw hat TO place candid and intel
ligible tariff platform under the feet of the
Democratic party. They approach that
question and nearly every other ike a man
emptyIng hard coal ashes in a high wind.
with their eye. shut AID their back. to the
subject.
THE kICkERs.
Now and then YOU find Republican who
ENJOYS tie momentary Importance tina, be-
longs to the kicker and the scratcher.
The shortest road 10 celebrity NOWADAYS is
to advertise your conscience in the newspa-
pers. There are Republicans who treat
their conscience as if it were the stock in
trade of a baking powder factory They
solemniy protest that ever, body's conscience
has alum in il except theirs. They adopt
the doctrine Of Matthew Arnold and insist
that in order to be safe the nation must
furnish the remnant with complimentary
tickets and a front seat. Tney would have
the country govern itself BY the advice Of
persons whose names, if NAV borrow
phrase from your good friend Gov. Carpen-
ter, are written in the herd book Of high po-
li,ical grades.
ThE CONVENTION or INDEPENDENTS.
Only last month a convention was held
in a New York parlor, in which the only
credentials called for by the committee were
a written pretence OF holiness, and the only
creed required of the membership was. Il
believe in the communion Of the saints Of
Beacon Hill and Franklin Square" Let
them commune. trust they will stick to-
gether ill they get thoroughly acquainted
with each other. have curiosity to see the
effect of genuine Democratic candidate on
an unusually sanctifed nostril. This cam
pagn will last long enough to show to every
sensible mans eye that no possible combina-
ton of tight pants and hay fever can defeat
the anxious will of the real conscience of
this country-the Republican millions of
America.