Daily Republican., 1884-10-01
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT

taxed friend with having slept through
Que of his stories. The friend declared
that he could at least repeat the anec-
dOto, aud did 30 with exactness. How
could you RENT Der H., for am positive
that you we fast asleep" said the
raconteur. Wall," admitted the
friend. " knew this was the time OF
day when you always tell that story"
At dinner one evening a well-kpCwn
| actress was most amiabe to very
young subaltern who sat next TO her.
He was nightly pleased at being on
such good terms with live actress.
Suddenly she said, in her artless, pretty
manner: " l AN 20 take boys part In
q new play, and have been watching
you ever hiuce we were introduced. You
don T mind, do your"
She was asked what she thought OF
one OF her neighbors Of the name of
Jones, and with a knowing look replied
I" Why, l don't like TO say anything
about my neighbors, but as to Mr..
Jones, sometimes l think, and then
again don't know, but after all, l
rather guess ell turn out to be good
deal such s.rt of q man az take him
to be-"
A 8ohtiCmhh a. q uibuCA wan 66hou
to carve turkey, but in doing so the
young lady sitting at the gentleman y
elbow, completely running her dress.
Instead, however, of creating q com.
motion, the carver merely remarked !:
Miss, may l trouble you for that
turkey"
What caused your little boys i'll.
| ness 2" asked an ingenious mother of
mother whose little son was very i'll.
He was climbing ladder" said the
lady, and lost his equilibrium."--
Poor little fellow !" said the sympa-
thetic listener. " DO buy him another;
he'll be more careful next time"
Two young ladies were talking about
q third, the other day, who had just
become engaged to widower, who
plays the cori.et and has four children.
What could be worse" exclaimed
one, "than four children and acornet?"
Nothing" said the other, excepting
six children and . trombone"
Testimony to Character Scotch
public house ; two cronies meet. First
crony Weel, George, what dae ye
think o. our minister, Mr.. Kilpatrick?"
Second crony He's fine man, .
gran man I've met him Raun hsme
at a. hours O. tie NIGHT an mornin',
an l never saw him fou yet"
We love to peruse fashion intelli-
gence. There Is always something 80
soulful about 1t. For instance, we
learned yesterday that 1.-THE gored
skirt is Inoribund." But then any.
thing or any body would feel moribund
after being gored, and the wonder IL
how the skirt stood IL 30 long.
A Scotch lady, whose daughter war
recently married, Was asked by an Old
friend whether she might congratulate.
her upon the event. Yes, yes," she
answered, "upon the whole it is very
satisfa Glory 1t is true JEANNE hates
her gudeman, but then there's aye Q
something"
| Professor Ito his class of law stu
dents): Young gentlemen, on what
| primo iple IL Q will made before mar
/ iage declared void In case the testator
marries 2" Student: ION the theory,
sir. that the testator must have been of
unsound mind, or he would not have
got married"
| The editor Of country paper says I:
Il" Wednesdays post brought TO US a
letter addressed Rev. another, the
{ Hon., another, COL, one Mr. and
the last, ESQ., On the way To dinner
We accidentally stepped on a woman's
dress, and she addressed us thus You
brute
He continually played on the cornet
"Sweet Spirit, Hear My Prayer" The
maiden lady next door sent word,
with compliments, that she heard his
prayer, and would pay a months lodg-
ing for him In advance II he'd move to
another part of the town.
Like bell that's rung for Are like
| o graceless liar, mischief making tat
tiers go stopping you with quaking
fear, whispering as you lend an ear
Mercy on US, did you hear? Betsy
Bean has got beau -
What" asked the lawyer, "are
you growing about? Didn't 1 win
your case for you ?" "Yes, you won
The case. Bnt you didn't insinuate
that the man against me abuses his
wife or steals hens. Do you think that
was earning your money ?"
~ love you, Ruth, you surely have
been able TO discern II? Ny love is ar
dent and sincere. Oh,say that yon will
not l I've striven hard to gain 1t, by
your leave, I'd rather far retain 1t |"
A young man who took his affianced to
hear Nilsson MARBLE her sweetest s0ngs
asked the young lady how she liked
the singers repertoire. Very much
indeed. 1 think it Ats her beautifully I"
was the surpris,ng reply.
4" All, San, 80 you've been in trouble,