Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-01-30
BRIGHT BITS.
\ LIGHT PURSE makes heavy heart,

\ LIGHT PURSE makes heavy heart,
PUT NOT YOUR TRUST in a cross-eyed man
who carries revolver.
In dis life al'ess try to help a manup de hill.
He ken go down by hissef.-PlaRtatiOn Phi
I0sophy.
"OcH," says Biddy. 81 hope l will niver be
buried alOive whin l am dead."-Neao York
Commercial Ad0erttser.
"YEs," said the reverend gentleman, 81 am
rector of the church, my mOther-in-law Is d.
rector add my wife Is cOr-rectOr."
"SANDY. what is the state of religion in your
town." bad, sir; very bad. There are no
Christians except Davis and myself, and
have many doubts about Davis."-Ne1o York
Star
"WHAT will you think of your beautiful
wife 80 years from nOw-thatis the question:
says MonsignOr Capel. Oh. bless you, mon
signOr, she'll be all right. The cOnundrum is
what will she think of us?-BurliRgton Hack
eye.
BIRD DEALER wrote upon his window:
'For sale, parrot speaking two languages"
4 purchaser came in. "What language does
your parrot speak," French, monsieur
French? That's very well and what other
language" His own."-Parisidn Fucker
iHgs.
BRADsTREET's has a long editorial on She
place of the middleman. A careful perusal of
it fails to discover the simple answer to the
implied question. 1t is the middleman's place
to give the endman a chance to get off his
carefully prepared spontaneous jokes.-Ne1o
York Nail and E1DresS.
DR.. r., after having bought a lot in the
Montparnasse Cemetery, went to the marble
worker to order the tomb. After the details
were arranged the marble worker said: "Mon-
sieur did we'll to select this cemetery; it is so
quiet. And then, Monsieur lie Doctor must
know good many people here.'-Ffeach
Fun.
GUS DE SMITH accompanied Miss Birdie
McRennepin home from church few sun
DAYS ago. Birdie said: 81 do always like to
sit where | can look at the minister; don't
YOU, Mr.. De Smith?" ooh, Pm not so par
ticular about that" replied Gus, 'but do al
WAYS like to sit where can look at the clock"
-ChristidR at Work.
THREE YEARS constant study in Italy will
make an American girl know too much to sing
in church and too little to be useful in opera.
For goodness sake send more of the girls to
Europe. then, If the knowledge acquired
there will keep them out of the church choir
and the opera chorus. A little knowledge (Of
music is a dangerous thing.-BOSton Courier.
ELLA WHEELER's ALLEGED LATEST
Oh love My love | could bust your wien,
In the bowling craze of my mad desire.
I could tear you asunder from deck to mizzen,
And roast your soul in a raging ilre,
| could yank your heart from your Jumping
bosom,
And drown out your life in sea of bliss
If had a million lives I'd lose EN-.
For whoOping whack at fire -fringed
kiss.
could chew your ear till the flashing gristle
Collapsed like the flash of a wild cyclone.
| could shrek in glee like a railroad whistle,
And gnaw your chin to the cleaning bone
could swallow your breath as the topper
swallows
The fiery fiagon of rot-gut rye.
| could wallow in love as the hot hog wal
lows
In the plant depths of the backyard sty.
/ could snatch you bald in a holy minute,
And yell like a Y ahOo to hear you squeal
| could peel your hide from your head and
pin IL
With fiery spike to your bullying heel.
Oh yes, could hug you, and kiss you, and
kill you,
And yet my mad passion I'd never quell,
You darling delightful old liver pill, you,
I'd make you believe you'd landed in Hall
fax.
--lfinneap0Iis 7ri6Mne.