The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1884-11-05
A Faaey sksseh or AmerI,,an &C..

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The London World has invented a
quite unique monsirositv which Il, l.
p'eased TO call ''the uDcivilized Amerf.
can girl. aud which IL tdescribe~-w;tl
wealth OF inventive fancy that must
maze other penny-a-liners green with
leaionsy-in part rs follows; "By the
unciViliEed American girl Is meant tho
| girt VINO has not done Yewrope. She
mas never been out Of her own New
York or Boston; she IS unspolls bV
Paris; she is . fresh Yankee, with All
her native raw material garinclv cx-
posed. She Is generally very pretty.
her complexion Is dazZling. her evos
are bright and brilliant, her little foot
and hand ravishing. and her figure
slight and aim as wand OF willow.
MSke her speak (she won't want much
making, by tho by) and her voice i
harsh and loud. her accent is outrage
Gus, and her nasal twang unbearab o.
She has an immense amount Of fun in
her (that Is. II you get hold Of good
specimen TO study; she has plenty OF
wit and shrewd quaint humor, and shO
Is never at loss for something 10 say.
ShO Is a rOmp at heart. and loves a bit
Of hard flirting dearly. ShO Is not
very accomplished; but she knows
arithmetic well and thoroughly appre-
ciateS the value Of money. She always
talks loud. as II she thought you were
deaf and always in haste. as il an ex-
press train waited for her just one min
ute and no more."
The plan upon which this ingenious
writer has constructed tho strange
creature he describes is not ut first ap-
parent. but one soon discovers that his
method Is simply to describe what En-
glish girls are not. The American
girl. Tor instance, Is described as being
pretty. and IL there Is ono thing thaG
every observant traveller in England
knows. 1t Is that English girls, rs
rule. arc exceedingly plain; that thetr
hands and feet are those OF Tho
daughters Of the plow;" and their I'm.
gers. so far from being ''slight ami
trim as q wand Of willow" are as ut
terly devoid Of any poetic or graceful
trimness as 1t Is possible TO imagine.
From princess 10 beggar maid they are
full and solid of figure. ''slout beef
eating wenches, as old MARROW called
them in his day. AS for fun, au En-
ylish girl that understood n jOko-much
more one who could commit the unpar-
alelled imprudence of making QUE
would be looked upon as hopeiessly
mad and consigned To bedlam without
urther ceremony. What would bo
lone with an English girl who display
ID anything resembling wit, il Is who'll
y unnecessary 10 inquire. since ths
Is in itself incredible; and
he intelligent man who ever sncoUn-
cred an English girl with anything 10
ay which was worth hearing, has vet
o be discovered.
Absolute dignity of manner il un-
Inown TO the American girl. -" proc eos
'ur wiseacre, meaning by dignity. Wa
presume. that dense aud awful s,uuidi-
Y which gives tho average maiden in
English society the air of being catvci
'ut Of an lily made suet pudding. badly
vor done. "SLe," he continues, work.
ng his portrait Of the ideal creature
% is amusing himself with depicting,
cannot walk slowly to save her lie.
nc skins along the street like an im-
ortant little water wagtail, very Dret-
ily, but always moro or less fussiv.
he days OF her life pass ia novel;
oading and hirtatiOn-and she herself
q curious compound of good nature,
\ ulC4Sult anCCbious MOElutlutA5t leuutE@
ess and cunning; and with all her
ood points considered rs fayorably NJ
ossible, sho is never quite woman"
70 grant that tho being that our
Hor!d hack has conjured up Is never
uite woman" any more than Mad-
mo Toussaud's wax figures are quite
uman. Wo do not understand tho
Ovol-reading imputation strayed into
10 TRADE; certainly America is not
10 country of the universal circulating
brary and tho three Volumed novel;
ut VIC cannot fail to regret that the
lbject of dress is passed over. Pro-
'eding on the plan of making the
girl whatever the British
alden is not, what splendid oppor-
nifty was here neglected of describing
IT girls ~ dressed stylishly, richly
ID in good taste, three rather desirn-
o qualities as utterly beyond the En-
ish girls reach as in the power Of fly.
Q or OF walking in any way but with
stolid and substantial trampl-Bos.OH
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