The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1884-02-14
Every smoker should try Little Joker.
smilcoCrnphs.

"a train behind time" remarked Forg.
seeing an ,l1eIly maiden tricked out IN
iull-oloomipg robes.
Speaking OF the habit OF close OBSERVE
ton, did - ever occur 10 you that women
are clothes ooservers2-t0d CITY Derrick.
Professor Ia chemistry. "The substance
you see IN this vial is the most deadly OF
all poisops. A single drop placed on the
tongue of a cat is enough TO kill the strong
est man"
As a protection against cold, a newspaper
worn across the chest Is 1ded,
Gentlemen who have had n newspaper
warming can testify to its t~horoughIe's Il.
A country editor says il as many people
knew now to pay their subscriptions as
we'll as they know how to run u newspaper ,
editors would nave an easier time OF 1t.
"How's business tonight p was the CUES
ton asked ut the box office. "Weli," was
thu reply. 'the house is half full, the stage
manager t%E".,hirds full and the leading
comedian iull TO overflo wing"
Adam Goodsell owed a New Haven man
and sent him n check for 81 25 10 balance
the account. The check was worthless and
the creditor now divides his debtors name
In four sSltbles.
No man. said Richter, "caR either live
piously or die righteous without having "a
WIFE" 1t does not follow, however, til
the more wives a man has the more piousiy
he lives ana the more Righteous he dies.
Yes, my son, IL Is a good thing to have
u LARGE circle OF acqusinlances; but you
must remember thu, the more people you
know the more people will know what al
ass YOU are.
No" said Bass. Il didn't 20 TO see the
new bu liing. ] preferred to read the
newspaper descriptions. They were ever
- ...,.N NNV.~ than thA raal lhtnn enIlh
possibly be. | always like to get the best
there IL going. you KNOW
A woman ia Michigan. being danger
ously Ill. her husband ordered q collin,
when she Immediately began TO recover.
IL was q little more expensive, perhaps,
than IL he had summoned a physician,
but the coffin can be used for q dough
trough. For sale by all respectable I'M
d riaKsrs.
Eytlet.: !. Time will hang up his scyths
when he is no mower. 2. Jokes are ike
nuts. the dryer they are the better to crack.
3. Al hou h = woman's age 10 undenishly
her own, she does not own it. 4. You
should not stone your neighbor, but you
may rock his baby.
In somr Of the far western cities smoking
IL allowed In the Common Council room
and members not engaged in the routine
OF business rlsy seven-up. And yet some
people complain OF tho behavior OF the
Gnlad9lpnia councilman, VINO st'Ch Teht
TO business and call one another thieves,
liars and e%csvengtrs -[Boston Post.
Apropos of the uncertainty that Just o
hangs over the celebrations OF the congress
sional commission on the hog question. ii
il safe 10 revive the story OF the Rhode
Islapd Jury thst five DAYS debating n case
involving n hog worth 81, and then came Ia
with a verdict finding the hog not guilty,
AID recommtn ling both the plaintiff and
defendant to the mercy OF the court.-tDe-
t-oi, Free Press.
Yves Guyot, TIE Paris journalist, tells
how King Louie XVIII, shen he returned
from exile, asked Fouche IL his movements
had been watched bv spice. Fouche ad-
mit'ed that the Due de Blackns had been
50 employed. And how much did you
give hin?" asked Louis. Two hundred
Thousand ~livres." wa the reply. Good"
replied the monarch, Il find he did not
cheat me. We went halves"
An exchange says that in order o obtain
a Texas fathers permission 10 ray yo r ad-
dress 10 his daughter, you should invite
him 10 see you throw q bottle into the sir
ana shoot a hole through the bottom With
out breaking the vessel. We should think
a quicker and more effective plan would be
10 present ths father with the contents OF
the otLle.-tNorrfttlwn Herald.