The National tribune., 1884-07-10
TRIRuNETs
A JULY IDYI
JULY IDYL--
The things that we at ono time much admirs
At others may excite our Ioatling;
We on s4..s;rs Fs~a,.-,,..,.- ,sf;-u


win build a is rot disslnushaabe from tho
old kind
A Boston editor has Just celebrated his sOth
birthday. Providence occasionally picks out
real good man among and keeps him in stock
long time as sample.
purse of 5000 has been made up for the first
child born in Coeur n Alene district. There is
nothing Ike substantial encouragement of our
infant industries.
1t is not az all safe 70 sheer at Black JACK In
this instance the Jack being. Of the trun.p-sait
happens TO be the rght-bower, and viii beat any
thing il. the pack
Colorado has furnished new slang phrase that
promises to become very popular; I'm not here
FOR my health" means that the speaker has come
strictly on business.
During the week the Secretary Of the Treasury
received two contributions TO the {" Conscience
Fund one Of SIS and another OF SIS. QueerAow
It's only the small thefts that seem TO prey On peo-
pies eoaseisnces.
Montreal man has just had a sexton fined for
Insulting" him by passius. the contribution BOX
without Offering i 70 him. Nothing makes some
men so angry 70 miss an opportunity to work
OF q trade dollar or punched quarter
There is a Postmaster in North California whose
yearly salary IS only nine cents. A cusious ex-
preston comes over his face when he hears men
waiting in the ofice Tor the mail denounce the
office-ho.ders Who are fattening on taxes wrung
from the toiling people.
The English Ianguage-espeeialIy the English
language III cold, staring black and Thiteisa dam
geroGs thing for any body to NEEDLE with. AZ a
lady has found out vino advertised in the London
Posi- to sell e 10 dozen port. the property u
widow ful-bodied, and seven years in the eeilsr.f
The English talking OF raising a camel corps
for the army IN Egypt. A camel cavalry company
VIII be a thrilling and unique sight and will,
doubtless make lots of trouble for El-Yfadhi "a
his followers viii think all the time Il j. the head
Of circus procession. and welcome it accordingly.
Wonder if putting "a soldier ON a camel win de-
velop IN him the same keen appetite for chickens
and buttermik thatsetting him on horseback doess
You must put your letters aud papers into the
lamp-pOst ietter-boxes. A PhiladeIphis judge has
discharged man arrested for stealing a package
laid OR Ietter-box. holding that the law only
makes it crime 20 take something oss Of a desig-
mated depository Of gnGii matter. How could We
ever get along if these delicate legal distinctions
were not constantly fnrnished u.s.
Young ladies who go Wet have even better
chance Of growing up with the country into mil
IOnaires than the young men One who recently
went to Alturas. Modoc Co. CAL had pressed upon
her acceptance bali interest in a saw mill a
barber shop a printing Office livery stable, two
Young women who are making shirts ia q New
York attic at a quarter dozen. or standing 10
hours day in a dry-goods store should make an
immediate break FOR AsO5oc Co., even # they have
TO walk all the way.
The Emperor of AMMAN Is a halEcivilized po-
tentate, with pigtail and copper color He il
wholly ignorant Of tine-loeks and cashiers and
other sweet boons Of our civilization BAT he thinks
he has struck savings bank idea that eegipses any
thing known since Confacius- lie has an Artificial
pond IN the center Of his palace inhabited by fierce
erocodiles. When the Emperor gets little coin
ahead he packs it in a followed trunk Of a
tree, and filings it into the water Il sinks to the
bottom and cannot be gotten up again withous
killing the erocodiles. Wonder how long he could
have his aqUar;anl-bank shis country before bis
fereest erOeodiles would be the 1wnn pets OF some
gentleman fond OF flyers IN the stock marker
The fact that Indians ate 30 bushes Of rosssiss
grasshoppers at a recent aboriginal banquet IN
California, hints at a possible for these untu-
tored sons of the forest If they esteem the gaunt
and bony grasshOPper rs deiieaey, it would sem
that they could be readily taught to love the mea
and succalent potato bag. either made into stew
or broiIed on toast Probably too, epcares among
them would rejoice in the high and gany favor OF
the odOriferous roach. In that case housewives
and boarding honse-keepsTs instead Of pursuing
this terror that walks by night with deadly intent
and corrosive su5inate. and turpentine and things
viii gather him up tenderly. and send each weeks
Accommodations to the factory to be canned for the
Pi-Use trade BY such strides as these our rate Of
/ progress Is gioriousiy maintained
IN THE DEPOT.
| First Thief Bill TN collar that vase there in
the corner while you fas5sn your clamps cato the
umberiI an the shawl-strap. an Wen walk right
| out wild EN-"
4 n
Dontchsr see the ole dufFer vat owns the traps n
setiin' there. a-lookin right at 'em2 You must be
/ hungry for mother turn o jaiI-grub. 81 a
/ pain so = do"
First Thief" Cheese it now, an dos tell We
I / know the ole bloke as wells I do you. Hes a
/ New YORK bank director an : could steal the
shoes right often as feet without his KNOWN "a
Second Thief o. If he's a bank direetOrits safs
enough Here goes
! "yUsT TOO MEAN FOR ANYTHING"
Edith-..My pas just the most sarcastic man
you ever heard OF. He can say the eruelless things
about Edward"
+ Maud-.' Hes no worse than my pa. Pa says
things about Cholley that cut me ike a knife
Edith--''O, you poor dear, know how they
hurt. can synpathize with you"
Maud You're just as sweet as you can be- I
never can love you enough"
Edith" The other night when Edward said
something about being afraid to so the docks
when 50 much Of this awful cholera was coming
over, Pa said ne supposed the only thing ne need
| be afraid Of would be cholera infsntum, which
wasn't caught that way. The boys were in the
room. and they laughed disgustngiy, as they
always do"
| Maud That was real Notifying. wasn't is.
dears But it wasn't any thing ~ what pa said to
me at the breakfast table this morning lie said
| ought to send over to ChoIey's house right or.
and see if he get home safely. lie said that last
night Just after let Chclley cut he heard our eat
jump at something and drag it away. and he was
terribly afraid If might be Choliey for al
wys gets her back up and spits at him every time
/ he comes into the house."
| Edith" How very exaspe-ating- And I'M
true tool Charles 10 be sure, is very young and
quite slight--but then to talk about a cat
Maud Why, what are You saying? Why
you're a hateful a. you can be. And you'd better
not let your Edward go at all IN the heat of ths
day for the doctors say nothing IS sure bring
on an stack of eholera infsntum in weakly chill
dreu. III never speak to you again long as l
live. There, now"
The Reunion Mt Minneapolis.
1t Is announced By the Chicago. MilwauSee
& ST. Paul Railway Company that purchasers
OF excursion tickets for Minneapolis reading