Morning journal and courier., 1884-12-24
OBSTRUCTIVE.

stCan you tell me what makes my face look so funny?'' asked Henderson, looking in the glass; ''Nose, sir" was Fogg's laconic reply Boston Transcript.
 An exchange in criticising Tennyson's new poem is puzzled over the expression "unfur
 nished brows.'' Perhaps it refers to m dude d
 His upper story is generally to let.-Ph1la Call.
 A chicken was killed in Wilkes county re gently and three brass buttons and the shell of a pistol cartridge were found in its gig gard Now we know what has become of the United States army.-Boston Transcript Photograph seller, saturated with modern ism, to fair customer: She-"Have you g
 photograph of Washington Irving" He 1'Yes, mann! but if you will pardon my cor
 rection, his first name is Henry. Life. Gentleman-s'Yo have charming little boy, madame" Lady-"Dear child, he is so good, so gentle, so obedient-the very cream of ehildren!" Little Angel (aside(- Perhaps that is why I'm so often whipped It is said that Fl Mahdi owns one hundred thousand ostriches. We should just like to see Fl with his pan of Indian meal and his flat stick feeding the poultry and gathering the eggs in his turban.-Burlington Free Press.
 The value of politeness: ''What very
 marked bow yon made to the man who has
 
 'sDo you owe him so much respect on that account!'' EtNo, but I owe him so much moneys ''-San Francisco Ingleside.
 ''Yours is a hard life," said commiserat ing philanthropist to hand organ man
 s'Eeet ees,n replied the musician, sadly ''Obliged to be out in the cold all day." con tinued the philanthropist. "Dat ees not de worst of eet,'' was the melancholy rejoinder. 'fNo?" 'sNo, de miseree ees dat l am obliged to listen to de music of my own instrument. The philanthropist was so overcome witt this view of the matter that he gave the or gan man dollar.-Boston Courier Poor Tutor: 'Know you what I do wher I hunger have? Then draw at home on my slate with chalk white sausage When l right severe hunger have, draw I two. TheI drink I once from my mug of beer, eat [ l the slate a piece away. Then drink I again eat again piece bread, and rub again iron the slate piece sausage away, till the last 1 morsel away is. So picture 1 myself ill l have the sausage really eaten. Behold you 1 it is all only imagination in the world. D. 1 Fliegende Blattsr.
 | Cincinnati Mother-'sWeIl, my daughter you were very good in church. Now, yor shall have lots of nice Christmas presents i you can tell me what the sermon was about. Little Cincinnati Maiden-"Oh, yes, O | tourse. It was about heaven. Won't it bt 1 nice? Nothing but music-gerdens and races
 and base ball games and theaters all tht 1 time.'' aMercy on us, child! Where did yoI
 get that ideal" ''From the preacher, O
 touse, mamma" ''The preacher! Why 1 what did he say!" 'fHe said that up ther
 it would be Sunday all the time. ."-Philadel 1 phia Call
 Had Seen It All,-one night while Johl 1 Mccullough was playing t'Virginius'' in Lit
 tie Rock, a lean cid fellow from the hills
 while standing at the foot of the opera hous
 stairs, was accosted by an acquaintance, wh'
 asked: ''Uncle Billy, are you going to SC
 Lige?' ''One O these here actin shows
 whar men an women come out on platforr
 an bow an scrape." ''No hosses in il i Lige?' tsNo hosses, Uncle Billy" "Then
 don't b'lieve I'll go up. got enough O tha
 sort O thing when Abe Spiller's school she
 down. We've seed all they can do. Com
 on here an let's go round here whar ths
 fellow is playin' fiddle in grocery."-
 Arkansaw Traveller.
 Thomas Harrington, a homeless wandere