Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-07-31
BRIGHT BITS.

1T is supposed from the character of his
party that Mr.. st. Johns campaign Will be IN
the nature of ''still' hunt.-ChicdG0 Times.
''AIY CHILD" said Rattles to his youngest,
81 always eat the crusts OF my bread" II
know it, papa" lisped the incorrlglble; II m
saving mine for you, tOo."-Boston COURIER
THE admirers of Mr.. Oscar Wilde who
were unable to grasp his meaning when he
spoke of ''unkissed kisses" will find clue In
the Congressional Record with its unspoken
speeches.-LJe.
OLD MAID AUNT-"Come, hurry, Dick.
Times money" Little Diek-"Is time really
money. aunt?" Old Maid Aunt-''SO every
body saws" Little Dick-''HOw rich you must
be % Philadelphia CAL.
BLAND-"How did your son pass his college
examination? / suppose he passed without
conditionsY" Blunt-"Yes; that is to say,
they said they would take him under no con-
ditiOns. "-B0Ston Transcript.
BROOK TROUT sometimes show great pa
thence and curiosity. They have been known
to watch a fisherman all day to see what ne
will finally do with the grasshOpper he Is bob
bling up and down on the end OF string
Ne10 Orleans Picdyuae.
LITTLE PAUL-sAre whiskers catching@
Big Sister-''No,my little pet; why do you askF
Little Paul-"Well, / thought II they were
you would have hair all over your face" Big
Sister-''I don't understand you, my love"
Little Paul-"Oh. of course not; but III BET
that Sam Jones, who comes here three times
q week. Wlll.'-BOStOe bWuget
Now on the scene,
With smile serene,
The orator appears;
He smiles his best,
Pulls down his vest,
His husky throat he clears.
And spouts he then,
''My countrymen,
Lend me, beg, your ears
-Nelo York JOerndl.
sCENE-East Hickory street. Time-Day-
break. Characters-NegrO waiter IN a bar
room on his way home; policeman, on duty,
living In the weeds. Negro laughs at police
man Policeman tells negro to move on"
Negro says he will move when he = pleases
Policeman tells him he will ''pulf' him If he
don't. Negro moves on. Policeman takes
after him and ''runs him in" Charge-lnter-
fering with an officer in the discharge OF his
duty. Selah!-AWstiR Statesman.
AN old bachelor who went to church last
Sunday evolved philosophy of the fan while
he wasn't hearing the sermon. ~ Dung
girls" he said, ''fan themselves rapidly, as II
to say I'll catch him, I'll catch HIM, III eaten
him; while matrons are more calm about IL,
and teach their fans to softly murmur I've
got-him. rve-gOt-him, Pve-got-hlm;
while fans in the hands Of widows tell the sad
story as plainly as possible, I've -o-s-t-
him, P-v-e-l-O-s-t-h-i-m P-v-e-l-o-s-t-
him. ''-NelC York Tribune.
FoUR-YEAR-oLD MAUD lives in Milton on a
small farm. Yesterday her father found
skunk under the barn and killed it. When he
came into the house he smelled so bad that his
wife drove him up stairs TO change his clothes
before she would let him come to supper. At
ter he had gone Maud SAID: Mamma, did
God make skunks2" Yes, dear. why"
"When He got the last one done did Mrs.
God make Him change His clothes before lie
went TO work on Adam and the pretty garden
with the flowers in It?"-BOStOn Globe.
LIBERALISM CHECKED.-'.That settles it."
said sam Chain. an Austin church goer, who
has the name of being very close, while he is
ostensibly piOus. ''Settles whatE" asked his
wife "Settles the question Of our having beer
for dinner on Sundays. We can afford to have
it from now on. Here in this paper l read
that the clergy are filed with alarm because
liberalism is creeping into the churches. Ihat
dime Eve been putting on the plate every
Sunday goes for beer from now on. If the
preachers are kicking about liberalism, l'll
quit being liberal."-Iecds SJtings.