Connecticut western news., 1884-06-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

God ever made and forgot to put a soul into.
 REST satisfied with doing well, and leave others to talk of you as they please.
 WHATEVER is becoming is honest, and whatever is honest must always be be- coming.
 FIRE and sword are but slow engines of destruction in comparison with the LAbbler
 THE history of the world shows us that immoral meaus will not intercept good ends.
 IT IS better to believe that man does possess good qualities than to assert that be does not.
 I WAS never afraid of failure, for I would sooner fail than not to be among the greatest.
 No CLOUD can overshadow a true Christian, but his faith will discern a rainbow in it.
 THE quality of books in library IS often cloud of witnesses of the igno- rance of the owner.
 WHAT does a baby think when it smiles the first time at its mother? "I believe I know you"
 THE adjectives habitually used, like the inscriptions on thermometer, indi- cate the temperament.
 TACT is the fig leaf conversation. ''Could ve lind me the loan of pipe and tobacky ? said Pat; "Pve amatch.''
 A DEED has been registered in Wyan- dotte, Kan, conveying a certain lot of land to William Henry Harrison Tyler Tippecanoe Coon.
 A YOUNG lady in Philadelphia has had several Wagner selections arranged for the banjo. A number of residences in the vicinity are now for rent-Boston Post.
 "WHAr are you doing, my love ?" asked young husband of his wife. "Oh," she replied, holding up a dilapi' dated pair of pants, "I am only collect ing the rent"
 BRUDDKR GARDNER takes a worldly view of some things. For example, he thinks that man trolls in de gutter be- kase dat is his level. He goes dar of his own choice"
 A MEMBER of the Harvard class of 'S3 has just been appointed a pitcher for baseball club at S3,OOO a year. Still there are people who turn up their noses at college-bred men.
 HERE'S an old conundrum for our temperance friends ''If the devil were to lose his tail, where should he go to get another? To grog shop, because bad spirits are reiailed there"
 SOMEBODY has invented @ security hair-pin which is warranted not to fall out. Now, if somebody will invent a kind of hair that won't fall of, the ladies will be very much obliged to him.
 A SAN FRANCISCO snowman is adver- Using troupe of educated flies. If he will send one on here to teach others how to walk around the edge of milk pitcher without falling in, he will gain everlasting fame. THE APPLES GREEN.
 The small boy looks with longing eyes
 Upon the apples green; He will not touch them if he's wise, For lurking at the core there lies Colic and cramp unseen.
 Chicago Sun. "YoU are now one," said the minister to the happy pair he had just tied to- gether with knot they could never undo. (Which one g' asked the bride. 'fYou will have to settle that for your selves" said the clergyman. ADANBuRY man recently went of to trade horse which did not answer his . purpose. He returned with another [ horse, S30 of money in his pockets, ten 3 bushels of potatoes, ten pounds of but 5 ter, six dozen eggs and a Waterbury watch. -Hartord Times. , A RAGGED little girl in London r school was recently asked why Adam , and Eve were turned out of Paradise. 1 She promptly answered "Because they , didn't pay their rent" Her parents had B been evicted for non-payment of rent < several times within few months. . "GENTLEMEN, '" said Western judge,
 "this Court, as the Bar we'll knows, is f naturally quick-tempered; and if this |, Court had not taken warning in time, , and abstained from the use of ardent . spirits, this Court would now be in the penitentiary or its grave. PENSION Agent-''On what grounds
 do you demand pension?" Veteran r "I lost an arm in the service" Pension a Agent-"Lost an arml Why, man, a you've got two arms P Veteran-"Oh
 don't mean these. The arm lost was
 of the Springfield pattern" . AN English journal calls the people oi . this country "a nation of pie eaters. If this writer could sit down to a cold : apple pie, such as "mother used t. . make" smothered in thick cream, he
 would make use of some other name l, with which to abuse us.-Phila. Call . A MEDICAL journal contains an srti. t cle entitled, ''Notes of Cases of Ice
 Cream Poisoning" It is said thai
 young men are clubbing together tc . raise fund of five hundred dollars tc secure the insertion of the article in all ;, the papers in town. Their object is un , known.-Norristo,Cn Herald.
 SOON the sesshore and the mountains Will attract the blushing maid, l. And the urban soda fountains y Will languish in the shade. Yet the very highest pleasure lS Of which she ever dreams.