The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
"PARMENAs MIX"
Some Hitherto Unpublished Articles by
 the Late Kentucky Humoriss.
Detroit Free Press.l

There is a poem going the rounds al present entitled The Old ScissoEs' Solil- oquy' It was written some years ago for StriSsey's MagaEiss by "PArmenas Mix" "Parmenas Mix !" was Mir. A, W Kelly, of Franklin, Ky. Mir. Kelly died last summer and was buried in Green lawn cemetery at Franklin. He owned a paper there, but his best poems and sketches were written for the Free Press and Syi6S<r's. The Free Press at diff come to Detroit and write exclusively for it, but he never could quite reconcile himself to the thought of leaving ehe sunny south. During the fire that de- snoyed the Free Pvsss office in 1878 some of Mir. kclly's MS. was lost. A couple of pieces, however, were found among the blackened mass of papers saved from the ruins. One of them is so blackencd with smoke and stained with water that only 8 veteran compositor can read it Here 1t is:
 CLEARING OFF TIMBER.
 BY PARMKNAs MIX.
 A fes weeks ago, weaned with my editorial duties, lay my pen aside and Sss . S'N' tf my 0hNAGs WuO OWu9 farm in a distant state. am partial to rural life. Nothing would suit me better than to own tarm in the country. hardly think a farm in the city would do The horse cars might run over your COWS and the policeman break into your corn crib and steal your corn.
 Well, my uncle received me with open arms. Said he !" farmenas, those heavy editorials that you wrote me were crea,- ing such profound sensation in Europe are wearing you out. Better look out, my boy, and not strain your brain too much-the top of your head may fly of some day"
 enjoyed myself very much at Uncle lim's. Nothing was too good for me - al isss; though. so and time slipped away very pleasantly. As cold weather approached the bracing air seemed to i'll me with desire to exercise my muscles, so one morning l remarked to Uncle Jim: Say, haven't you get some tim- Der you want esred of this winter 7 Pm an excellent chopper, and to see the chips fly and the giant oak fall crashing 10 the earth always fills one with un- bounce ed delight. (Once, while in the army, hacked down few small cedars for hrewood Unck linn immediately got me an axe and piloted me to the worst looking piece of timber had ever seen. Most of the tTces were four feet in diameter, and the undergrowth was as thick as the hair on dog. Besides there was an intricate network of wild grape vines woven in among the trees. Uncle Jim said: There, my boy, amuse your sell" and left me.
 Alter an hours arduous toll made a clearing around one of the largest oaks, spi, on my hands and sailed in. l man. aged to get through the bark after awhile, and then sat down and gasped for breath know now why mans Ilbs arc built so substantially; it's to keep wood choppers hearts from jumping through their breasts and bouncing of into the woods. When night came had made a hole in that tree about the size of the first cut in a cheese, and ae!. sex. morning as fl had been run over by all the artillery and cavalry in the United States service. was three days telling that tree cut all around the confounded thing and then tried to push it down, but it stood there as firm as the proprietor of one price store. went to the house and secretly got an old rip saw, and tried that on awhile, but no go. Another hours superhuman efforts with the axe, however, made the stubborn old fellow ,opple and crack, and the next instant he fell with a crash that shook the earth from Maine to the Gulf of Mexico. It feii across a new eisht-ra;! fence and killed COW that was grazing on the other side-killed her as dead as cove oyster. then sat down on a stump and shed the first solid tears had shed in sixteen years To think that 1 should toil and sweat and swear for three wh ole days just to knock $50 out of my dear Uncle Jim's pocket!
 went sorrowfully to the house, and when the old gentleman came in he said: "WeIl, how are you getting along" Got that big tree down." l replied. (Which way did it fall F asked Uncle Tim. "Downwards," 1 answered, and smashed four panels of fencing and gave an old spotted COW snrh rap that her cud flew fifty feet. There's nothing salable about her now but her hide and horns; deduct the price of those and charge the rest 10 me"
 Uncle Jim sank into a chair, leaned his head upon his hands, grosned dis malIy, and sighed, Poor Spo,!' Aunt Susan covered her fare with her apron and sobbed. "Poor old Spouyp The children also set up vail of lamenta- ton. was forced 10 go into the kitcken and take smoke of ihe old mans to- bacco to hide my emotion. Presently ke came in and said " Wei, there's bo use crying over spilled milk (it was spilled milk in this instance, sure enoughl; "you can go righ. on and clean of ,hs, timber, work the trunks up into cord wood and fence rails and the tops into frewood, and yell say no more about it."
 No, uncle" feelingiy replied, that would Dc toe slight remuneration you must receive a more generous reward. III send you my paper for twenty-five years al E. year" The next mornipg rzu~ hnra~ Tnexe's z rooinS&x naar ~.