Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-05-23
ALLOW me, aunt | shouted in he

him, and, followed by Aunt Hannah,
entered the house. AS deaf people
people talk very loudly themselves, |
was surprised to hear the visitor say IN
somew hat sharp voice:
so this is Caspar's house? Very
nic., ] must say-qute elegant.
i wish it was thousand times
nicer, for Your sake | exclaimed, or
rather shouted. Take off your things,
aunt. and make yourself at home
What are you screaming at: asked
Aunt Hannah. petulantly; ANY one
would suppose ! was deaf.
was not surprised at this remark,
for it is a di i,tinguished. trait with deaf
people TO dislike any notice taken OF
their infirmty so bawled in an even
higher kew that she must not be Of
+ Tended. that loud speech was pecuIl-
arity Of mine, and | begged her not to
notice it.
/ Bu, by afternoon was 50 exhausted
that every word | uttered was tor
turc Of the keenest description fortu-
natelv a friend called, and as my aunt
was not inclined to talk, ! lowered my
voice, moistened my fevered lips, and
gasped in my natural tones:
'Oh. Julia, its positively awful.
She's as deaf as door post, and has
come to stay a month. | shall die, |
know | shall.
Il wouldn't try to talk to her, said
my friend; 'Iet her amuse herself.
You'll only make yourself i'll. You
look as il you had fever on now.
bat must be civil to her, | said,
looking straight at my respected aunt
Iin-law. and using my natural tones.
She's immensely rich
What's that 2 asked Aunt Hannah,
with sudden interest. Who is 1t that
has the itch ::
There, | said. that is just as much
as she hears-deaf as stonp-or an
adder, but full Of curiosity. Don't GO
Julia; keep me company till Caspal
comes. | shall have diptherla-my
throat is raw now-if you leave m,
alone with her
had tried to be very English II
order to make good impression, and
had remarked more than once. apropo'
Of the weather. that 1t was beastiy
cold. and had alluded to my dress us !
frock.' and hal called all the pitcher;
i in the house .ewers. while i denoun
ced everything that didn't suit me a
nasty eould not tell how IN,
doubtful English was received, fo
, Aunt Hannah made no sign, and
! told my friend julia, in litter despair
J, that L<iidn't caFe. S
lily that her N!ronry never pa
: for the strain Of keeping up a CONVEX
sation with her 1t is positivel
u wicked in her not TO carry an ea
= trumpet.
When Caspar came home he duti
: fully embraced his aunt, who ha
been perfectly silent for an hour o
y two. and said to me:
Well. nv dear. how have YOU an
9 Aunt Hannah enjoyed yourselves.
J.. Not at ALL answered shortly, in
: voice did not try to moderate, for
u was tired and cross. i might as we
: have talked to some one in the mex
y county. Ny voice 10 ruined, and
don't believe she heard half what
said. as II was.
'Oh, Yes. heard YOU perfectly, sal
the old lady vindictively | though
YOU said that was your natural voice
and she smiled grimly.
Good heavens. can you hear :
gasped.
i could have heard You if ha
been dead she snapped out.
r What does this mean :: asked Ca:
y par. staring from one to the other.
Your wife imagined was deaf, rt
torted Aunt Hannah.
> Imagined rou told me she had los
y her hearing | said faulty
: Caspar laughed nay, more, he roal
ed.
'' 1t must have been my cockney pre-
nunciation that got the better of m
. : for moment. | meant her hearin!
: my dear.
;, Yes, yes said, Historically, rha
: is what you said
: "Lottie, don't be stupid said m
= husband can you spell hearing? Ea
; ring, there. 1t is valuable damon
\ solitaire, not easily matched, and sh
" naturally felt sorry about it.
" Was there ever such blunder.
y could have given Caspar good shab
i ing for placing me in such false pc
. sition, but then it occared to me tha
! | was the one to be shaken for an &C
= tual want oc principle in speculatin
y upon the wealth OF Aunt Hannah bt
fore her very face. Much good did
do me. She went away the next da,
= telling Caspar she was sorry he ha
!; such fool for wife, and we have nc
: seen or heard of her since. | sti
y contend that he was to blame, as
= was the cockney proclivito that pr
= ah 81 where it had no business to b,
that caused the trouble in the frs
place. - Detroit Pree Press.
J. E. Pluribus Onion"