Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-04-18

VOL. XII.
TRIBUNE TWINKLEs.
"L.o! the poor Indian Washington Gazette.
Come out and live with him awhile and you will
soon loathe the poor Indian.
QUEEN Viotoria pays postage the same as any
other Briton, but she keeps ''court lcker" to
properly lick the stamps for her.
A WRITER AYERS that the Londoners are tne
most solemn visaged people in the world. Lon
don Punch 10 doing we'll its work.
@ 4 COMMERCIAL traveller committed SUICIDE III
Indiana last Monday night. He had just re
turned to his hotel from hearing Eli Perkins
lecture.
GET out your note book and make minute
of this, and please try to be on hand promptly
when the show begins. The great comet of 1857
will be here again in 1852.
A DAKOTA editor was held up and robbed by
footpad in st. Paul last week. He offers $lO'-
600 reward for the return of his money and
yaluables, and no conundrums propounded.
somE men are born great, some achieve great
nees and some are blessed by generous proVl-
deuoe with muscle enough to knock most any,
BODY out of time in three rounds. Marquis OF
Queensbury rules.
All, Peraians shave their heads from the fore
head to the back of the neck, leaving long gray
tuft dangling on each side over the earn. This
gives them the quaint and depressed appearance
of American benedicts.
YOUNG man recently married in Utah has
eight mothers-in- law and gets along nicely with
them. He has taken up his residence IN the
Sandwich Islands, and conceals his post Office
address from them.
CHICAGO NEWS: Louis Phillips, one of the
Berner jurors, was afraid he would be killed In
Cincinnati, so he went to st. Louis. There is
no accounting for tastes when men prefer life in
St. Louis to death anywhere else.
AN Indiana man has given up his editorial
nosition because he feels that no true christian
can edit newspaper. Coming from Indiana, TINS
fact is exciting considerable amazement
throughout the newspaporial ranks.
TWENTY TWO Indians were baptized by a
Baptist minister at Dakota agency last week.
With its usual enterprise the TRIBUNE is the
t1rst to make the assertion that an epidemic OF
dip-theory is raging among that tribe.
MRS. JOHN A. LOGAN never corrects her hus-
bands grammatical e4s9rs in public but when
she gets him home she makes him think her
tongue is hung in the middle with a talking at
tach1nent working on double time at each end.
PHILADELPHIA CALL: Editor Watterson says,
"Either we have or have not Democratic
party" There ought not to be any doubt
about it. Anybody who has Democratic party
about himself and doesn't know it ought to begin
taking medicine.
JOSEPH FoBD, Flatbush, L. L., youth of
eighteen, was so offended by his fathers reproof
at the end of long spree that he tried to kill
himself. fathers reproof at the end OF
long boot might now be prescribed in his case
with favorable results.
WHEN Harrison, the boy preacher, settled up
with his employers at st. Louis he presented
bill for the conversion of 1900 souls. There
was dispute over the number, and rather than
have q row he went back to the church and con
verted 16 niggers to even the matter up.
THE confectioner takes the cake
And the baker takes the bun,
The policeman takes the "fake"
And the sunset takes the sun.
The hired girl takes the bakery,
The Dutch take sauer krout,
But the trout fisher, new and quakery'
Doesn't always take the trout.
-Williamsport Breakfast Table.
A CABLE message of recent date says that
Constantinople possesses the flthiest streets in
Europe. The mayor of Chicago sent a telegram
to Constantinople the other day, and although
the telegraph officials grefuse to divulge it's
contents it is generally supposed to be social
greeting.
Now Lent has passed away,
The Young folks will be gay,
30 hovyo FRI FRI