The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-04-04
An Il vexat,sn.

4 IT
Sometimes it does seem as though
this old world had slipped an eccentric
and was only working one side. The
wicked man fiour:shes like 4 green bay
tree, while his honest ncighbor gets
( whip-sawed every deal. The doctor
prescribes quin ne for your chil,s, and
the druggist puts you up something
worthless and cheap for two dollars an
ounce. There are iifty-three authors of
beautiful Snow" and not one for the
| BREAD Winners" In Philadelphia
one mandatory makes nothing but
century old .'grandfather's clocks, !"
and furnishes pedigrees for the same to
the purchaser, until to own tall, an
tique clock is proof positive that your
family began only with your father. In
Chicago they make violins that look one
hundred years older than the most
genuine Stradivarius four weeks after
they are made, so that now an ancient,
honest-looking, decrepit violin is prima
facie evidence of glaring and outrageous
fraud. There is milk in the water of
commerce and sugar in the sand the
grocer sells. We have rigors where we
used to have chills. ..Old Subscriber"
is usually man who borrows the paper
from neighbor or reads the copy
pasted up on the bulletin board. "Con-
slant Reader" who never read any
thing in his life save the pictures on a
circus poster. and TAX Payer" is the
signature of tramp. A struggling
genius writes poem with soul of fire
that lives forever and day and dies in
tears and loneliness and poverty in a
hall bedroom fifth floor back. The
Queen writes q book than no living man
outside the Guelph family and the
proof-reader could be hired to read, and
has pie three times q day, owns four
dogs and has India shawls to give to the
flood sufferers.
So it is Man gocth to the skating
ring with joy in his heart and niirth on
his lips, and he cometh away with his
back so full of pine slivers that the
porcupine sayeth unto him: Thou art
my brother" and the hedgehog crieth
unto him: "Behold my father and
mother"
When December is here with select
assortment of chillblains and frost bites,
we cry: "Would Heaven it We're July"
And when July is come, straightway we
are suustruck.
There are over 5000 known classified
and described species of fish. And yet
man can fish in good waters all day
long and catch never one solitary speci-
men of the smallest kind, and bringeth
home with him only two weeks ration
of malarial fever This also is vanity.
Inever took girl to church.
The longest way back home to plan,
But what she left me i'm tho lurch,
And walked back with another man.
Garfield was shot to death in the
prime of good and useful life. Lin
coin was taken away just when the
country least could spare him. De Long
laid down his life for sciences ere yet
his sun had reached its meridian, while
the man who can write forty-nine chap
tiers of the Bible on one side of a postal
card will probably live to the age OF
nincty-three. This doesn't seem right.
The girl with soft gray eyes and rip
ping brown hair, who walked all over
Your huttering heart at the charity ball.
has just finished a crazy quilt contain
ing 1854 pieces of necktics and hat lin
ihSS, pun toSCthCt WIN -i,OvO StitCuCs.
And her poor old father fastens on his
suspenders with loHg nail, piece of
Irvine, u sharp stick and one regularly
ordained button. This also is vanity.
Man planteth bed of pansies in the
front yard, and 10, there cometh up
naught, save a colony of cut worms
only. He goeth forth into the field and
droppeth corn into the hills, and I0O,-
0J0,000 crows sing Us they pluck it ont
of the ground right after him.
He str"lleth through the leafy woods.
and his hide is filed with chigres. He
lolleth in the fragrant winrows of the
new mown hay. and stra ght away fit
teth himself with snake. There are
spring guns in the orchard. n bull in the
pasture, ram in the M adow, dog in
the yard and three tramps down the
road, so that he hath no rest for the
sole of his foot and no joy for his heart
ii he walketh out of his own room
Bardette, in BROOKLYN Eagle.