davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-03-14
Caution to

You should not stone your neighbor, but
you may rock his baby.-N. Y. News.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-03-14

Skinny Men. "Weils' Health Remover" re-
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia 81.
Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-03-14

DR., WILLIAMS Indian Pile Ointment.
Warranted to cure any case of blind, bleed
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
The VIDas Trees.
[Csr. New Orleans Times-Democrat.l

Ger. New Orleans Times-Democrat1
Java is the home of the upas trees,
and as it is only recently that true scien-
tifc explanations have been given OF
them, probably one theory may be in
teresting Wonderful stories were told
about the valleys where they grew. No
living creature was able to live an in
slant exposed to its effects, and even
birds in flying over would drop dead, so
that the whole valleys were covered
with their skeletons. When scientific
men first began to inquire into it they
could only with the greatest difficulty
induce the natives to accompany them
to the spots, with such dread and super
stition were they held A peculiar fea-
ture in the earthquakes in this part of
the world soon solved the problem and
exploded the theory as to the trees
themselves. It was found that at cer
tain times the sulphurous ors and
noxious gases escaping through cracks
in the earth in these valleys were so
dense and poisonous as to be destruc-
tive to animal life, and at such times
had so affected the natives that they re-
tanned the memory of such places and
avoided them forever afterward. No
evil effects were experienced by those
who traversed the valleys, though there
was unmistakable evidence that at peri
odic intervals they were deservingly to
he ayoided
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
New York Cor. Inter Ocean.

new i OK CtE. IiiUeF ocean.
IfThomas Kinsella had paid practical
attention to some form of athletics, he
would still be the living editor of
The Brooklyn Eagle. He WAS big
structure, and for many years he made
active use of only his head and stom
ach, leaving the rest o. his ma cup in
idleness. He overworked h s brain.
AS the head of the leading journal Ct
village OF about 50O, 700 inhab-
itants for slch is Brooklyn in its
habits of life-he was less imper-
sonal than any other journalist
in great city. He did not seek
to avoid this. but rather tried to fill
the place by taking hand in politics,
society, and other pubic affairs. He
over-worked his stomach. Club at
tachments, dinners of occasion, and the
functions of a genial host under his
own roof, served to put more victuals
and drink into him than he could
digest. Plentyof exercise would have
made him capable of dong unhurt ali
this writing, eating, managing and
drinking. But he declined to take the
time or make the effort. lie sank con-
sequently into liver compla mt, jaun-
dice, and condit on which male him
defenseless agan,t pneumonia when it
attacked him.
Gen. Grant is another man who has,
by high, if not by hard, living and too
little exercise, rendered himself liable
to death from causes which otherw Sc
might be easily owe come. 1t was on
bic orriya1 at home from meal too
heavy to mrortab,y carry, nat in
alighting from his carriage he got the
fall which has kept him in doors ever
since. He has led a lazy and orerfed
life ever since his army days, and that
is why his condition now is alarming.
"He has too much dogged pluck to
die so easily" said an admirer.
"That is what they said of Kinsella,
replied. "and now We are going to his
funeral
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
JUSTICE wAiTE's DILEMMA.
Amusing Adventures Of the Head OF
tsle Supreme Court.


Washington Cor Chicago News
Having an imperative engagement in
baltimore some time ago, Chief Justice
Waite, of the supreme court, hurried to
the Baltimore & Ohio depot ten minutes
before the train started. AS he was
about to purchase ticket he discov-
cred to his horro that he had only
few pennies in his pocket. He leo ied
around for friend, but, finding none he
resolved to use desperate measure.
He filed up in the line to the ticket
window. A he reached the agent he
smiled an awful smile across the full
width of his enormous mouth, and
asked the ticket agent if he knew him.
"No, | DON'T" snarled the agent;
"and what Is more / don't want to.
What do you want?"
II want ticket to Baltimore and re-
turn. | am the chief justice of the
supreme court. have no money with
me. 1t is purely accidental. I can
give you my personal check" replied
the representative of justice.
"Oh, 1 know you. | know all the
bloods. But that dodge won't work on
me. have just had two members of
the cabinet try to blk me out of tickets
| and no chief justice dodge gets me-.
lake your ugly mug out of the window
and get out of the way of people who
have money.
The chief justice glared. He could
not line the young man for contempt
OF court. He felt worse than if he had
been real fraud. and he blushed and
perspired so that the agent had his be-
lief strengthened. The chief Justice
dashed out Of the station to see if he
could not find some one to identify him.
He had only five minutes left. It was
too short time to run to the capitol.
He saw no one. Across the street there
was saloon and an eating house. The
chief justice made rush for the place,
but stopped at the door. Spying a
private entrance, he rushed in and ac-
costed the proprietor with the frantic
inquiry, .'Do you know me?'
Yer bet yer head do, yer honor"
said short rfhaired, freckled- face man
behind the bar; Eye are the boss of the
shuprame coort. | see ye livery day
going by here on the cars.
will YOU cash my check? I have
no time to explain. Here the justic3
grabbed piece of paper and pen
upon a desk near by, and began to
write hurriedly.
"Shure will. / have Seen old boTs
off on tear before, get out of money.
irusht me. sor. Is it twenty ye
wan Here it is. Will We have drop
| before We run?"
But before any further explanation
could be made the chief justice grabbed
the money and was running across the
street In some way the ticket agent
had learned of his blunder during the
the judges absence, and was all polite
ness when he saw the money. Mr..
Waite barely made the train, but he has
not had such a shock to his dignity
since he went upon the bench of the
supreme court.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
a Civilized lnhian.
LChicago Herald "Train Talk. ;


On a Fort Wayne train approaching
Chicago there was a short-statured,
straight-haired, coppercolored Indian,
going back to the reservation after a
trip to the Indian school at Carlisle,
Pa. He wore a nice suit of clothes,
which fitted him badly, and paper
collar without any necktie. He at
tended strictly to his own business, and
was unmolested until young prig came
into the smoking-car from the sleeper.
An Indian, | guess" said the young
chap, as he lighted cigarette. And
then, approaching the son of the plains,
he attracted general attention by shout
ing, with strange gestures: Ugh, heap
big Iniun! Omaha? Sioux? Pawnee? ?
See great father? Have drink fire.
water? Warm Iniun's bioodi" The
copper-colored savage gazed at the
young man a moment, with an Il-con-
cealed expression of contempt on his
face, and then he said, with good
pronunciation, "You must have been
reading some dime novels, sir. I am
going back to my people in Montana,
after spending three years in the east at
school. l advise you to do the same
thing. No, | do not drink whisky.
Where I live gentlemen do not carry
whisky-easks in their pockets. The
cigarette was not smoked out, and
amid general laugh, much crest
fallen young man retired to the sleep
ing-coach.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
that in spite OF said rules bundles are
constantly carried in at the trout en-
trance, containing bread, cake,e.c
Filling the Flour Barrel.

new i DIX sun.
A down town flour dealer was past
ing gaudy label on the head of flour
barrel when young man stopped by
his side to watch the operation. As the
dealer gave the label parting wipe he
Strengthened up, paste brush in hand,
and, looking sidewise at the label, said
1T is easier to fill blrrel with -four
than to paste on the label"
The young man looked aston;shed,
and, seeing that, the dealer asked
"How do you suppose barrels are filed
with four?"
"Shoveled in with scoop
"That's where you are wrong. There
is flour packing machine. 1t would
be impossible to pack barrel of flour
by weight in the common -four bar
rel, using only a scoop. The four packer
consists of an upright shaft suspen led
several feet above the floor. o. the
lower end is screw like a propeller
wheel, or more like the cutting blade
of posthole auger. A tube of iron
about as large as the inside of a barrel
is suspended around the vertical
shaft, so that the bottom OF
the tube is on level with the
lower end OF the shaft. The barrel is
placed on platform below the tube,
and the platform and barrel are rails ed
by coiled springs working on shaft
that winds up small CHAINS until the
bottom of the barrel reaches the bottom
of the tube. l he flour is fed into the
tube from hopper, the screw revolves
by steam, pressing the -four against the
bottom of the barrel. AS the barrel
fills it is forced away from the screw.
The tension of the col Ell spring IS ar
ranged to overcome the weight of the
-four, and thus the -four is forced into
the barrel under an even pressure from
top to bottom"
"How long does it take to fill bar
rel?"
About as long as it would take you to
wink. Sacks are Tiled in the same
way. Small tubes, according to the
size of the sacks, are used, and the
coiled spring is adjusted to suit large
and small sacks. There are several
different styles, but they all cost the
-four packer 500 each"
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
People with short memories.
New York Sun. ]

"I see many curious cases here, said
the detective, "of people who forget
just what they most wish to remember,
who do precisely the thing that they
did not intend doing, and who go just
where they had no idea of going. /
had short-minded case last week of a
man who has given me more or less
trouble for two years past, but this time
he excelled himself. He was hardly
aboard of his train before he was Of
again and rushing for this room; he
had lost something, of course. But
what was it? He went over and under
the benches, turned his pockets inside
out, and even searched his hat. The
train had been gone fifteen minutes, and
he had not even got SO far as to remem-
Der what he was searching for. At
last he gave it up, and went to the tele.
graph office. where he wrote out mes
sage to Philadelphia friend to watch
every man who left the train which he
had intended to take, and try to recog-
nize any of his property, particularly
his models He was an inventor, and
thought the lost article might have been
model. Then he started back to his
Office to see if he had left his lost prop
erty there. As he was cross ng West
street he CHANGED to run against what
he was looking for. It was his son, a
bright lad, whom he had taken to busi
ness with him in the morning. That
telegram to Philadelphia cost him $3.
"I believe I have now on hand an as.
sortment of every known variety o.
short memory in the market. The re.
mark most frequently heard from
the great unreliables is, There
/ told th@t man to remind me
of it They are the men who
forget because they don't give atten
ton to anything; they are always in a
hurry, and always get LETT. One of my
customers has memory which may be
called doubly short. Yesterday he for
got where he had put package, spoke
to me about it and found it fivt
minutes afterward in his coat tail
pocket. This morning he came run
ing up to me and asked me if [ hae
heard anything about his lost package
I said I thought he would find it il
his tail pocket, which he did. He frs
forgot the article, then remembered
after he got home that he had forgotten
it, but forgot that he had found it. It'
rather tough when you come to loo
of IL
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12

[Chicago Herald "Meddler.
We met man on corner who sim
ply bowed and passed on. The bow
had something in it which attracted my
attention, and [ asked who he was. "He
is ambler-the propr. .etor of gam
bling house in this city. Or the al
legged proprietor you n ust know
that you can't charge it on a man in
this city unless you can prove it. |
have heard him tell some strange
things, for he seems to like to study
what he sees. He told me once about
the infatuation which some men had
for gambling. Then he related an in
stance of an old gentleman who was
the superintendent of a Sunday school
in one of the suburbs. He stole away
from his village every day, and came to
the city, played all day, took his train
home, and so far as anybody in the
gambling house knew, he was in the
former sport, in the latter consist
ent, Christian gentleman. He won q
very large sum one n ght, walked away
and has never gambled since. under
stand he recently contributed largely to
the founding of charitable institution.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
A LANGUAGE IN A FORTNIGHT.
Something Suggested That 1B quite
Different From the Conversations
Lexicon.

[Chicago Tribune.
The art of making oneself understood
in foreign language may be easily ac-
CURED and should receive attention at
the hands of every tourist. The first
rule of all is, do not carry grammar,
or, if you do, never look at it; for In or
der to speak the language in manner
to be understood utter ignorance of its
grammar is primary essential. Sec
ondly, never attempt to ask for anything,
or to say anything, In the form of SEN
tence given for the purpose in any of
the familiar conversation" books; and,
as general rule, avoid as far as possible
the use of any sentences whatever.
Thus, suppose the subject to be eggs.
The grammatical tourist looks to his
Conversations Lexicon" under that
head, and finds sentence such as this: !:
Landlord. If your fowls are in -four
ishing condition. shall be supremely
obliged if you will do me the very great
favor of preparing a few recently de-
posted eggs for my supper" He reads
this from the book, pronouncing every
word most incorrectly, and laying the
greatest emphasis on the adverbs and
propositions; and the poor host is in q
state OF desolation. The practical
traveller never attempts to speak any
complimentary phrases, but always
looks his compliments, shakes hands,
smiles, mods, etc. sits down to table,
opens his mouth, points down the mid
die of it, and exclaims. "Eggs!" and not
another syllable till assured that that
one is understood.
Instead of reading from the "Con-
versations Lexicon" such sentence as.
Being rather dyspeptic, and occasion
ally subject to fatulency, / find it indis-
pensable to my comfort to avoid eating
hard-boiled eggs; will you, therefore.
be SO kind as to boil my eggs no more
than is necessary to render them
pulpy?" he points to the eggs and ex-
claims, "Soft"
If the subject be politics, instead of
saying, In the present aspect of
European affairs there is reason to be.
lieve that rupture of diplomatic rela-
tions, or even actual hostilities between
England and Russia are imminent
he holds up his right fist, and says !:
sEnglandp' then his left, and says,
sRussia!" then he thumps them to-
gether, and says, "Fight-to-morrow p
If you can thus divest your mind en-
tirely of all preiudices concerning num-
Der, gender, case, tense, person, mood,
and all sentimentalism relative to agree.
ment with nominatives-using none but
the words necessary for expressing the
main ideas, omitting all the connecting
words, and those which merely express
the relations of words, and taking care
that each idea, before it is expressed
shall be mentally clear and definite
with sharp outline, and ne metaphor
icaI blur or shading may learn to
converse intelligibly in any European
language in the course of two or three
weeks.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
Made His Fortune Out West.

iChlcago Herald Train Talk.
Been out west, have you?7 said to
a smart-looking young man who sat in
the seat beside me-
"Yes, sir; been ont there for ten
years
Whrse were you located ?"
No place IN particular. Changed
around great deal"
Make any money!"
"Yes, made fortune Am now going
east to enjoy it. Shall live in a big
stone mansion at one of the prettiest
towns in New York state. Don't sup
pose yoa will believe it, sir, bat it's q
fact, shall have $50 or 200 servants
to wait on me. shall keep my own
physician right on the premises. ]
shall entertain hundreds of guests from
all over the state of New York and q
few from the territories"
Now, that will do, I interrupted.
I'm not a greeny; no use to tell such
such stories to me-
Its fact, though" he replied, and
here's the proof of it. And he held up
his hands aad exhibited pair of hand
cuffs adosning his wrists.
Yes, sir, he's nv prisoner, and I'm
taking him from Montana to Auburn, /"
said Ieen-eved, bearded man behind
him. a misunderstanding between
you and the special agent in regard to
the whereabouts OF some registered
letters. wasn't il. Jim 2"
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
4 Wise Use for Publio Money.
GThe Current. !

There is perhaps no wiser use of public
money than the appropriation of sums for
monuments of men whose deeds have made
themselves and their country great No city
should be without its statue OF W Washington
in a place where the eyes of the busy multi
tude could often fall upon it As long as the
memories of the great and noble OF the land
are kept green in the minds OF the people,
they will not forget those things which are
essential to the preservation of the republic
There can be NO higher or better employment
" art than this
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
PREFERRED THE .NECKTYE.
athn in Philadelphia Times.

0dtH III IHllfa1elpEid 11iIeS.
Emery Storrs, the reparteeist, tells a
story of gentleman who bought bill
of goods for $500. The firm being
suspicious of their customer put $500
on the usual prices. The customer
could only raise 81 200, which was the
regular rate, the rest being in excess.
He said he would give his note for the
remainder, and they took it, Then he
said he was in the habit of receiving q
present ON making so large a bill.
Theyagave him necktie. He bitterly
objected to such mean little present.
The proprietors then concluded to pre-
sent him with his note for the $500.
He took it with look of cunning, and
then said:
Well, Mr.. Alexanders, think I will
prefer the necktie, if it's just the same
to Won ;>
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
Bread from Grass.

On theMest coast of England grows
a sort of sea grass (porphyra lacin .ata)
which is made into something very like
bread. In the main it is gathered by
women; they then wash it and pluck
all other plants carefully from it.
After this it is boiled for some two
hours; then the mass is cut in pieces
with knives and kneaded into loaves.
Oat meal is then strewed over it to give
it greater cohesion and more inviting
appearance, and then it is baked. It
keeps in summer for four days, and in
winter for eight. Many women on the
coast of Devonshire earn their living by
selling this bread, and most Of it is sent
to Swansea. in Wales, where it is much
liked by the poorer classes.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
A Rajah's Throne.
fChicago Herald.

A huge crystal throne has just been
manufactured in England for All Indian
raiah. Some idea of the elaborate
workmanship which has been employed
in the construction may lie gained from
the fact that the finals of the legs are
each cnt into 324 mathemat:cally ac-
curate facets. Wood and iron are used
to some extent to make the throne sub
stantial, but all such parts are cover. d
with glass and hidlen. The cushions
and hangings are of crimson velvet, and
altogether the rajah is destined to pos
sess a gor yeous and probably very
uncomfortable seat.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
Artificial Cork.
tScientifc Journal. I

Artificial cork is among the recent
German inventions. The method OF
production consists in mixing powdered
cork with starch and water, and knead-
ing the mass while boiling hot until il
is thoroughly mixed. This substance
is then poured into mods for forming
the articles, and afterward drie1 at 9
very high temperature. The material
is described as quite light, and pos
sesses non conducting properties.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
4 Quesr Article OF Diet.
Western Letter.

Indians eat the horns of the deer
when in the velvet. One day, on the
Sioux reservation, in Dakota, deer
was killed near camp and brought in
entire. At sight of it, Pahlaniote, a
Minneconjou of some so years, dropped
his usual statuesque attitude, knocked
off the horns, and, seating himself by
the fire, began at the points to eat them
velvet and all, without cooking, as il
they were most delicious morsels. The
others of the party looked on as if they
envied him. They sad they always
ate them so."
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12

To get rid of the smell of fresh paint
in chamber or living room, slice few
onions and place them in the middle OF
the poom. After that it will be desira-
BILE to get rid of the smell ofthe onions.
This can easily bedone by putting on
another coat of paint.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-04-12
Protected His Family.

A Little Rock lawyer of prominence
went home the other morning at an un-
seemly hour.
why are you so late?" asked his
wife.
Il am not late. I am early"
"Why didn't you come home last
night?"
Drunk"
Couldn't you walk? ?"
Not without staggering"
"Why didn't you stagger home,
then?"
We'll, I'll tell you. My house has the
name of being an orderly place, and ]
didn't want people to be seen stagger-
ing into the yard. Every man must
protect his family, you know"