St. Paul daily globe., 1884-10-12
IN FAVOR OF PEACE.
Il Nun Who JYanted Not the Declare
tfon of Independence.

Some time ago, at public gathering in
Webfoot county, Colonel Ladsmon was Sc
lected to read the Declaration of Independ-
ence He had not proceeded far when an
old fellow, who had come with large follow
ing OF Dry Fork boys. shouted:
Mister, whut sort o. artickle is that
you're readin'g'
'"The Declaration of Tndenandepca
sir'
wall, now, the wars over out here in
this section, an we don't want none o. that
secesh business. l fit for the south, an l
snllIed good deal o. that smoke an stopped
several pounds o. lead, but when l flung
down my old fuzee, agreed that the scrim-
mage was dun. Now, mister don't think
that you air doin' right to come out here an
read that thing to the young folks. Lees
dead an Grants busted up, they tell me, SO
what's the use in all this hurrah busness
1 am as good southern man as anybody, but
never was no glutton. I've got enough,
let me tell you,''
''My dear SIR" said the colonel, ''is it
possible that you do not understand this
document. glorious emblazonment of
principles for the establishment Of which our
forefathers shed their sacred blood"
Needn't spill so much o. your edyca-
ton. mister, fur 1 'low that you'll need it
before you git to the end o. your row.
never toated college whitewash on the back
o. my coat, but I've got years like fox, am
eye that can tell black snake from scor-
pin. That you've got there is rank pizen.
Amt it Levitcus!' turning to one of the
Dry Fork boys.
That's what it is, - Leviticus replied.
That thing, mister, mOut. have been all
right in sixty-one, but it won't do now, fur
the cradles rockin' in peace an the blue
eyed gal with the peachy jaws is singin'
sweet song in the orchard
''My dear friend" said the colonel, ''let
me explain. Gentleman, please keep quiet.
There is no need for excitement When
our forefathers were oppressed by the Brit
ish government, they threw off the yoke,
and declared by this paper" shaking the
Declaration of Independence, ''that they
were free. They fought, bled and main
tanned this avowal of freedom; aud this
glorious document will ever live as the
greatest national structure the world has
ever KNOWN
''That's all right, mister" said the man
from Dry Fork, ''an' is talked off a heap
pulitzer than 1 could do it, but the war is dun
over. 1 don't see no blood round here.
Do you Leviticus9''
''Ain't found none yit," Leviticus re-
Piled
'tNo, fur it's all dried up. Now, ponder"
continued the advocate of peace and the for
getfulness of war, 'put up your warrant o.
arrest an talk about something that we slosh
round in every day."
81 shall not put up this glorious paper.''
"Ain't thar no persuasiou?'
''No persuasion and no human force can
make me sheathe this great sword of argu-
ment.''
ooh well, we don't want to have any
trouble, but 1 reckin yer'n put it up"
81 swear that will not.''
sob; 1 rekin yer will"
81 will die first.''
'Oh, yes, you will. Put her up now an
come along with us boys. We've got a jug
o. the best old stuff you ever seed,
AM"
"Old gentleman-old patriot of a school
whose session is closed-I am with you,'' ex-
claimed the orator, throwing quid of to-
bacco with lond ''spat' on the bald head
of tax assessor. 81 was taken in charge
this morning by a party of prohibitionists
and have suffered much in flesh. Now my
dear sir, my deliverer, lead me to the conse-
Grated ground. The Declaration of Inde-
pendence can wait several years longer;
cannot wait five minutes. Here's to you,
old patriot" turning up the Jug "Ah-
hah-hah. .n-ArkGnSaS Tra0eler.