Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1884-05-16
FLORIDA PHILOSOPHY.


l interviewed an old negro who vas
lying on his back on the banks Of the
sluggish water known as Bayou st.
John. the hot SIM blazing into his
lace.
Why don't you get mp and go to
work."
my friend, said the aged Ethiopian,
Il am, proberbly, the on'y man oh sense
,lah is in de state. Some oh my chillen
sppoxin ates, but dey hez dab mudders
foolishness in EN- and dey don't quite
cum up to de STAINS ard. Ny oldest boy,
Sam, hez an idee NV bein' sport, and
he actooally wuks to git fine cloze. Wat
duz he want oh fine cloze? Wat does
he want oh any cloze ct all in dis yeah
climit, 'ceptin' jis enutf to kibber him?
Why, he wants to swell among de
gahls. Wat does he want to swell
among the gahls fur? So't one oh 'em
will marry him Wat does he want to
marry one oh 'em fur? Coz he wants
to be happy w:d her. 70 see cherry
ting wat Sam wants and expex is ahed oh
him. 1t amt de present dat Sam is
after-de eniyments oh to-day amt
good enuff TO him, but he goes TO suifin
dat he cahn't put his hand onto.
When he hez got lie good cloze de
eahls will run after him. Will he be
satisfied wild dat9 'ot any, chile. he
looks ahed TO de felicity ofSharryin' on
oh EN- When he hez marie one ID
eni, i, he any nearer happinis? Not I.
step. Den lie will want to cut swell
wild her, and he will worry noah ia
dat When he liz worried long enu
and hez got Q house, will dat satisfy
him? Not any, honey. If he git u
house he wont be happy till he hez got
pianner forty in it, and when he he
de pianner forty he will want furnitoor,
and when be hez de furnitoor he will
want mule and cart to ride in sun
dys, and when he hez dat, suiiin else,
allus q little ahead OF him, will be
wanted to rinish dat of, and so he will
go on and on, like donkey wild bunch
oh carrots jist afore his nose, which he
allus sees but nebber gets a toof into,
and SO he will go on worryin' and wor-
yyin' till he dies, and what's it all
about?
"Happinis 10 alluz jist ahed oh yo' and
il keeps dab. Dab nebber wuz o
quahtah boss fas' enuff to ketch up wild
tits bird dat yo' nebber kin git salt
onto his tail. When yo' git wat yo'
want den you mus hsb sufiin else. and
dat keeps up forebber and ebber.
Il don't allow no such foolishnis 10
bodder me. don't want no cloze for /
hez no yoose TO EN-. l don't want no
house TO kin sleep outen doahs. I
want pipe alluz full Of tobaccy, and I
want soft place TO sleep when lie
sleepy, and suffin to eat when Ize hun
CRY. / hez q powerful appetite for
whisky, wich / git when kin, and
witch I 20 widout when Icahn't.
Me! Wy, boss, ! woodent go TO
sukkus on Q free tikkit, onless yo'd
kerry me dab, an glib me cushioned
sect. Sukkus! Wat does il mount
to? Two houahs and its ober. Ef life
Good be perpetool sukkus, with ham
sangwiches brot in at de right time,
and dey Left 20 smoke yo' pipe on de
benches, II mite do. but not ez dey run
'em. Il goes too quick.
II won't wuk, coz I don't like to wuk.
Watts de good oh money to me? I
won't wuk chen TO whisky, for de
whisky don't glib me ez much pleasure
ez de wuk wood bodder me. I don't
keer TO wat money buys, 90 watts de
yoose Of money to me? No. sab! ] de-
spise money.
"Ambi I'm! Ef o man he'd de hull
world he'd want de stars and de moon
frowd in. IF muffin on airth amt gwan
to satisfy yo' watts de use? IF yo's
gwan to end wha yo' begin ye' mite ez
well stop ct de beginnin'. Ell yo' git
vat yo' go fur and dat don't do yo' no
good vat s de yoose of gettin' any
thing?
"Honis'! Oh coahs Tze honis'. II
don't pay dis chile to be anything but
honis'. 'Spose Pze goin' to git mp and
90 about steelin' t.ngs; wat do want
OBJ wat Id steel? I'ze got all I want
widout steelin'. don say but wat eff
Q fat shoat shood cum rubin up agin
NE, or ef wuz in de Wis unity OBJ hen.
house and de pullets didn't roost too
high, might take one, but wooient
60 out oh my way to git EN-. Ize r Oh,
cos ! don want nulin. Ell TIE got oil
] want I'ze richer than Vanderbilt, coz
he hain't got eli he wants. He keeps
want n, an don't"
"But uncle, il everybody was like
YOU, how would We get along? There
would be no railroads. no steamboats,,
no
"specks dab woodent. But wat do
keer TO dat? ] don't ride on rail-
roads and don't want to own any
steamboats,. Dab wuz people afore dab
wuz railroads, and member when
dab wuz no steamboats, on de ribber.
We got on, we did. 10 dab wuz better
iishin' dan now. If everybody WI,
like me dab would he no SIGH tings
wanted. oh woodent be no cotton TO
tote away, and no muffin. dat | knows
oh. TO bring in. don't yoose muffin
wat comes by de rail or in de boat. DE
fish don't come by rail. ! don't want
no hardware dat / knows oh. ! don't
need no z, DDS from de MORT. Watts de
yoose oh railroads TO me9 Watts de
yoose OBJ snytingf Ell de folks wool
lib ez do dab woodent he railroads
nor boats.
de fack il, ! amt o yooseful mem.
Der oh 'siety, nor don't want to b.. /
get Iua' meal d Q mswnin, an speck
shel git one to.morer. If some one
will come an drop II into my moui, I
shel be much oblteged TO 'em. Of not,
spose ! shell hev to beside whedder !
" L. atirm;sb a~,,,,I To- "a rs AZ, A ,,lnu