Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1884-10-16
atirgiuia free gFess.

The oldest English church in America Is
in Isle Of Wight county, Va, near Suffolk
Il was built in 1852
Gen. +. o. G. Ord's widow owns the his
toric table whereon the Lee articles OF cap
itulatiou were written.
Many young girl has for her steady
company a young man who Is notoriously
unsteady.
The man whom the optieiau respects
The one who buys the Sc ond pair of eye
glasses.
The elergymen who baptized Blaine are
to hold a convention az Bar Harbor M
August
sings the early melon and cucumber
"We're cramping tonight in the old cramP
ground"
A correspondent inquiries if the opera
"LElisir d'Amore' means The Loves Of
Elizal"
81 am man Of enter prizes remarked
the burglar as he inserted his jimmy into
the safe lock.
Eight dogs viii buy wife i'm Siberia
but after you have seen q Siberian woman
YOU marvel that dogs should be SO cheap.
A compost of good muck, with lime, has
sometimes been found as effective as ma
nure load for load, upon light and heavy
soils
so years ago Block Crowther was sold on
the Gold Coast as 81 slave for biol. Of rum.
To-day he is the church Of England
Bishop Crowther of Africa.
Bathing suits more beautifully shocking
than ever are announced for the comlag
season. Something must be done to attract
people to the sheore.
"What will stick 70 man closer than
good wifc2" asked correspondent. A
porous plaster will crowd her for the honors
young man.
Charles Lamb remarked to bystandel
while the cards were being dealt, referring
to one of opponents at whist, who had
hands far from clean. if dirt was 'trumPs
what hand that man would have"
A Young farmer wrote TO one of the Balti-
more papers and asked how 70 get rid o
moles. The agricultural editor answered
"Plow them ont, to which the young Gran
ger replied. Cant DO it. It's on my gal.
nose"
When boy receives i long lecture ID
Sunday School on the evil effects Of smoking
and then meets the superintendent on Mon
day morning with . cigar in his mouth he
is apt to think that there's fraud some
where.
Every other SIN hath some pleasure an-
nsxed to it, or viii admit Of some excuse
but envy wants both. We should strive d
gainst it, if INDUCED in, it viii be TO Us Is q
fore-runner Of hell upon earth.
Dumas fills IS sometimes severe. The coa-
versation had turned upon Mrs. ", who
had been very beautiful "She has some
thing of q goddess" said a faithful adnirer
YES" said Dumas, antiquity
What is the difference between woman
who decks herself in knots of ribband and
one who patiently endures misfortune2 One
wears her bows and the other bears heI
woes.
small brother" Why don't YOU get %
coin' with Mabel Carson, Fred 2' Big broth
er-"Why, Charlie? Do YOU think shes
pretty?" :. B.-"Naw-but her brother.
got q boss bicycle"
The small boy stands beside the pool
and with his hands the water cold he feels
he fingers not nor time does waste; III,
weather's hot, and with great haste; h'
peels.
Who was the most successful tnancie
mentioned in the Old Testament Noah
because he successfully foated a Unite,
company when all the rest of the world wa
in liquidation.
4 poetess sings. Where Is Ny Sailo
Love Tonight Ifhe sailed on an ocea'
steamer he is probably showing of irom tht
wreck in q lifeboat before the rush Of Jh
female passengers begins.
81 think I will 60 to Ohio to live" sal,
maiden of uncertain age. What for?
asked her grandfather. Because there i
one factory there that makes $4,000 matchc
every day" she replied, with q sigh.
Prof Hughes explains the phenomena o
magnetism by a simple rotation of the par
ticles Of iron. A great deal of the Blain0
magnetism is caused by the rotation Of ht
tie particles of silver with the Goddess o
Liberty stamped upon them.
The news Of Mr. Lowel's illness remind
the Detroit Post Of the remark of an Of,
Vermont farmer: q don't see ne use,
said he. in COMMENT sendin' Ministers Il
England all the while; the lazy scamp
don't preach half the time when they 81
there"
Prohibition is a failure. because the law
is violated The ten commandments ar
violated daily, and are, therefore a failure
and better never have been enacted. A in
dicious license system, furnishing arevenu
from iniquity. would have been better /