The Penn's Grove record., 1884-04-05

found the Chief Signal Officer in
his laboratory, exhausted by the hard
work of the day. His majestic person
was somewhat flaccidly disposed in a
great easy chair. Hisfeet rested on me
ltop of a barrel, which was covered with
a copy of Hayden's expensive Atlas CT
Colorado. In the lap of the Chief Sig.
nal Officer was curled a big black cat,
which purred as Ire listlessly stroked its
back, and showed its teeth when he
happened to stroke the fur the wrong
way. On the Chief Signal Officers left
shoulder was perched a Plymouth Rock
~rooster. Several hens of various breeds
were scratching the fiooor under the Ia
bic, in the futile endeavor to extract
nutriment from an oil cloth carpet.
The Chief Signal Officer motioned me
toa chair, and hurled. a volume of his
annual report for 1882 at a noisy duck
which was screaming in one corner OF
the room.
General" l began, sis it true"
He interrupted me with a perempGory
gesture. ''Hushp he said. l became
silent. Through the closed window the
stentorian voice OF an able-bodied DON
key was distinctly audible, The dom
key brayed four times. each time louder
than before. The Chief Signal Officer
tumbled the cat out of his lap, made a
few hurried notes in a memorandum
book, and then turned to me again.
General said /, will you permit
me to ask is the statement that you
have
Just then the rooster on the left
shoulder of the Chief Signal Officer be-
gan to flap his wings and ROY The
Officer touched a hand bell. Send
Dunwoody here at once he said to the
child of Africa who answered the suns
mons. Now sir, am at your SERVICE
he remarked to me.
General | began ONCE more, 1T is
currently reported that you have
1 paused, for the hair on the top of
my head was at that instant firmly
clutched from above, and held in a ten
acious and constantly Tightening grip.
[ started up in amazement. "Sit still
sit still shouted the Chief Signal Officer.
1T is only one of my bats-the Lower
Mississippi Valley bat, l think. Don't
move a muscle till we see what the
Lower Mississippi Valley bat is going
to do.n
/ sat patiently in the interests of sci
ence for at least five minutes. Then
the unpleasant bird, beast OF reptile
slowly relaxed his hold upon my hair
and flew away with a dismal whirr.
The Chief Signal Omcer rang his bell
again, scrawled a few words on a tele-
graph blank and handed it to the mes
senger. Wei sir. now what can l do
for you?"
General l said, you can tell me if
you please whether the public may
credit the report that you have
tAhl here is Dunwoody at last ex-
claimed the. Chief Signal Officer, the
anxious expression OF his c~ountenance
giving place to a look of relief. Dun
woody, the black cat has mewed thrice
in three minutes
you don't say So remarked the new
conner respectfully.
'C%opernicus is Growing rather hoarse-
ly this evening.
Dunwoody casts a critical glance at
the Plymouth Rock rooster. That is a
bad prognostic,' he observed.
'And l think, all things considered,
we had better weigh Howgate.'
Dunwoody Immediately approached
the barrel on which the Chief Signal
Officers feet had been resting and re-
moved the cover. Both the Lieutenant
and. the Chief peered in long and in
tently. Then Dunwoody took from a
hook on the wall a small landing net,
with which he proceeded to drag the
the contents of the barrel. After sew
eral Intellectual efforts, lie scooped out
a small but healthy Goldfish, dripping
with brine, and floundering helplessly
as Dunwoody laid it on the platform of
a small pair of scales.
Sixteen and three-quarters, he said
DO you mind telling me- l asked
why you call that fish Howgate2"
Because we keep him out of sight,
said the Chief Signal Officer hastily,
without looking up from his memoran-
dunn book. Let's see. The noon en-
try is ffteen-half. Two O'Clock fifteen
quarter. Dunwoody, that id cod
has gained a pound and a half since
two o'clockl'
My graciousl' SAID Dunwoody.
The greatest alarm was now visible
uponthe Chief Signal Officers face. 1t
was evident that the portent was extra
ordinary. He turned to ne as if for
sympathy. what does it indicate, l
ventured to inquire.
Indicate man?' he shouted; it indi-
Gates that a deYil of a gale is brewing
somewhere. 1t is an a~scertained fact
that the Goldfish takes in ballast. before
a storm. But a pound and a half in
four hoursl The records of the Office
show nothing like it. Why, the fish
gained less than six ounces in the seven
hours preceding the great tornado of