Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1884-05-15
The Recent Giant and Giantess
Match Matrim oniaIiy Considered.

The marriage of the Irish giant and the
German giantess at Pittsbnrg was the
greatest social event of the season. As
usual, the bride was too lovely for any
kind of use, though she weighed four hun
dred and has hand as big as a wash
board. The practice OF these giants and
giantesSes taking some one Of their size
when they marry is far better than the old
way. Heretofore it has been the custom
for a giant to marry little woman, who
looked like baby beside him, and giant
esses have had habit of falling in love
with little shrimp OF man hardly big
enough for breast-pin for her. A giant
ess with a small sized husband makes life
a burden to him, and giant with little
mite of a wife is apt to make her feel
smaller than she is by comparison. There
are thousands of ways that giant can
make the life of small wife burden,
and it is always sorrOwful to see a little
woman marry such freak of nature under
the impression that she has done
big thing. The same may be said
of the little man who marries giantess
She may treat him with the consideration
due his rank at first, while the honeymoon
is shining, but she is apt to become con-
vinced Of her mistake and brood over how
much better she might have done, and
then she treats him shabbily. OF course,
if couple are married when they are
young and near the same size and one
grows to be giant and the other dwarf,
the big one is not so apt to put on style
over the little one, for there is certain
sympathy between them that was created
haI
over the other in point of size. But
you take your freak of nature that was
born so, and has always been so, and who
travels on his or her shape, and there is
sort Of feeling that they own the earth and
want it fenced that bodies no good to the
small partner who has married them be-
cause they were a good thing and one
could not have too much of good thing.
The married life of the giant and giantess
will be watched with interest by public
which has witnessed the tyranny of giant
husbands over dwarf wives and giant wives
over small husbands. There is no advan-
tage in this case, and each will travel on
his or her shape. The quarIels, if there
are any, will not be tame affairs, but will
attract the attention of the world. If the
giant stays out late and comes home falling
over things, and the wife says, Hello
Oirish, we're you vas already? Wy you
don't come home quick to your leedle wife"
aud he braces himself against the cast-iron
bedstead and says 20, Dutchy, be afther
giving us resht," the rattling of furniture
such as neighbors hear in an ordinary row
between husband and wife will seem small
compared to the noise that comes from the
apartment Of the giant couple. There will
be revelry by night like the wreck of
freight train, and box cars will fly through
the air, while the scream of the ill-used
wife will sound like frightened fog
whistle. A giantess is not an easy thing
to get the best of in rough and tumble
fight, even though the antagonist is giant,
unless the giantess is arranged with shawl
straps and handles to grab hold of. May
the best giant win.