Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-11-14


WhjtchdH Rertew.
AS our great eastern contemporary,
James Gorden Bennett, hoped into
the palace hotel coach the other day,
after brief sojourn here of forty
eight hours, gentleman said to the
porter who had brought down "Jim's"
satchel: $50 that's the boss journalist,
is lt2' Journalist" replied the por-
ter, with great contempt, hes per-
feet gentleman. He gave me So.
A certain Nevada judge, who had
been great scamp years before his
accession to the bench, recognized an
old acquaintance in prisoner brought
before him, and supposing himself
safe from recognition, asked the pris-
oner what had become of the compan-
ions of his early life of crime The
reply was They are all hanged, your
honor, except you and me.
You're the belle of the town.
The young man said
AZ she smoOthed the curlS
ON her qaeenly head.
lie took the hut, the young man did.
When she gave her little head fling,
And murmured softly in his ear,
What good is a bell without ring
Marion Crawford has finished bis
new novel, which is founded on Am
erican politics. That's funny. There s
nothing novel about American poll
tics. It's the same old mud geyser it
was when George Washington was
tattooed.
Ostrich eggs IN San Francisco are
quoted at $3.50 dozen. Owing to the
price, a man no matter how hungry
he may bs, seldom goes into a restau-
rant and calls for more than three
ostrich eggs, boiled, at one time.
An auctioneer, native of the Green
Isle, caused to be printed on his and
bill ola recent date: Every arcticle
sold goes To the highest bidder, unless
it SO happens that some gentleman bids
more
They arc SO continually tinkerinG
at this divorce business, / wonder is
there no way to properly relegate itl'
SAID Mrs. Hypo. Certainly" growl-
ed old Hypo, make marriage Grim
inal offeuse.'
~ change my shirt every day, said
a dude; Il cannot endure the samc
shirt more than one day" Wall, "
said the farmer, you must be a
blamed dirty man. | can wear shirt
for two weeks"
1t Is rot what we earn. but what
we save that makes us rich, SAID a
philosopher. Remember this when
trying TO make 81 bill buy shoes for
six or seven children.
A well fed hog rose up in his sty,
And dropped a regretful tear,
The beautiful snow has come, he said,
And Staying will soon be here.
Anxious inquirer When you say
that you have found the milk in the
cocoanut, it is merely another way of
stating that you have got the facts in
a nutshell.
Poor St. John is in trouble again.
In recent speech he said ITO
get drunk is folly" but the bibulous
compositor put it: ITO get drunk is
jolly"
The days Of beer are fading fast,
No longer tits in fashion,
But the winsome youth is not downcsst-
He simply changes his liquid ration.
Touching inscription on tomb
stone: Here lies my mother in
law. She always desired my happi-
ness. Her death proved this
Holland has 10, 900 windmills. Dur
ing presidential csmpsign America
can see Holland and go her about 60,
600 windmills better.
Astonishing, isn't it, how things
are taxeds" said Straddles. why.
l hear lots of people talking about
taxing their brains"
Tonsorial artist-Dye your hair, sirH
Customer-No, Tn too young.
Artist-The good dye young, you
know, sir.
A man may successfully paint the
town red, but when afterward he
hes brush with policeman he loses
color.
The best drink for the people is an
equal share of the milk of human
kindness with all humani-tea.