Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-11-07

lhl 'll' ll'tll VI u nlDllhtN. ne l)tlllO- .
rats are trying to buy It's vote.
Jay Gould gives rs the reason for his
financial succ' IS that he began life early .
as "A Honey-makcr. We don't believe that
Mr.. Gould began life any earlier than the
poorest day labOrcr, or sought the root of
all evil with any more avidity. 1t was
his luck to be rich-that's all.
Belva has not yet been accused of hav-
ing Il barrel but it is not denied that she
has the hoops iOHEcrS StdtCman.
An exchange asks GLOW to remove
paint" We have found that II coatsleeve
will take II good deal of it ofl.-NClr York
Man ana Express.
One of the most prominent criminal law
yers of St Louis is about to remove to
Chicago, and 1t is intimated by the press
Of the former city that he found it ncces
sary to he nearer his clients.-BOStOH
Transcript.
About two weeks ago Brother Graves
purchased (D a new roller, cleaned up his
old type, rubbed up his old cuts, sharp
ened up his old u.rk i;nife, washed his
face and hands. cOmbed his old wOOlly
and brings out his paper in busincs-like
appearance. Tally another for the Re
rcuic.-HiU CHy (kdHJ RcrcWc.
Prof. Milne of Japan, says that last
season was Il comparatively poor one for
earthquakes. He doesn't state whether
they were planted to many in a hill, or the
crop was damaged by the drought, or the
Hoods rOttrd the seeds: but we suspect
the Democratic organs Will attribute Their
failure to the Republican administration.
-NOrriStorH HCrdid.
Father said the young man. a little
impatiently, "Why won't you let me have
Si5,uoO to put into this Colorado mine -
lhc old man turned and beumcd kindly
on his SON
My boy he said gently, don't you 90
fooiing round Il Colorado mine until YOU
know whether it's loaded or not. -
Brookiyu EdJic.
81 do hope You are happy, my dear, eX-
claimed the benevolent old lady. I'm
the happiest woman in the world, she re
Piled you are married - oh, yes.
NV hat is your husband ) business 2 "Ile
is Il sea captain, and has been away from
home for nearly Il year Poor dear ,
how unhappy that must make you Il
think you misunderstood me. | said that
he had not been home for nearly Il year
-NcU York GUphjc.
"The New York market is extensively
supplied with foreign eggs We thought
our fathers cast off the foreign yOlk Tor
good more than hundred years ago
BOStOH Transcript.
The Boston Post has sound travel at the
rate of ll4O feet per second. but out this
way we have seen Il hired man 1000 feet
away quit work before the horn was
raised to the farmers lps.-DctroU Free
Press.
\ resident of Arizona, visiting in Santa
Cruz, heard Il political club cheering in
the night time, jumped out of bed and
woke his friend, saying: Get up Jim, the
Indians are on us '-Iitd CUIitOrHidH.
\ flat fell upon utility man at an up
town theatre and injured him. Had 1t
been the kind of flat that usually hangs
out behind the scenes no damage would
have ensucd.-N. \. JOurHdi
''Sutes to the sweet" remarked the
young husband calamity to his BRIDE Il,
he engaged Il set of apartments in one O
the most stylish apartment hotels in New
York. harrington Froc Press. Ant
"hects to the beat said his wife. rs she
passed him that vegetable at dinner
BOStoH POST
There are eighteen Clevelands in thi
glorious country and all are kicking for
change of name except that fellow at Al
bany. CCroi0Hd Hcrdld.
\ professor to illustrate the immcns
distance to the sun, says IF child
arms were long enough to touch the sun
and its fingers We're burned, the infan
would have To be man of over hundred
before it knew that its fingers were burn
ed The child would be willing to wal
that time, without doubt, especially il
consideration of possessing reach Xix
that. But then, such Il length of arm n
that is il disadvantage even To a child. !
pain at its velocity of travel would be al
that time gong the length of the boy
arm, Il handful of plum jam would no
reach his mouth until he was nearly tire
hundred years old and likely enough b.
that time his tOndueSS for plum Jan
NynnlI Inc ppup II JffUIJIITH NIITS
There is no truth in the statement tina
Anthony ComstOCk intends to suppress al
, giratfes, because they are 50 neck-ed.-
BOSiOH Transcript.
If Mrs. Lockwood is elected Presiden
her inaugural address may be brief enoug
but Just think of the two column post
script She will add to it.-NOrristOWI
IICr0ld.
When You write "Rush" on IA Telegram
the clerk sees ut once that it is important
He ruShes il to the operator, the operate
) ruSheS it over the wires, the receiving OF
orator 1T its destination PUSHES it on t
paper, puts it in an envelope with Il rus
and hands it to Il messenger boy. Their
the rushing stops. Philnddphid can.
There is said to be no certainty Ubou
: the fishing in Labrador. This does no
} differ materially from the fishing an!
where else-LOWoi CoUricr
We want all the original poetry abou
autumn leaves and things that can he sci
us Cold weather is coming on and kin,
ling wood is burlington HuWkCU
1t is said that when Belva Lockwood
was trying Il case before Chief JustiC
| Cartier the other day she got into leg
= snarl. Il should like she said, in Il ne
tied voice. Ito have your honor advise II
what to do next Slowly and with
e stammcr the witty chief justice sale
Mrs. Lockwood, the c-c-Court would a.
wise you b-b-b-by all means to employ
t lawyer II boston Post.
"What is the meaning of that red lii
T above the fourth story of your house
l. asked a stranger of Il man near pittsbur
THAT is Il termark. That mark ShOy
how high the water was during the gre
II overflow about Il year ago" "lmpossibl
II If the water had been that high the who
town would have been swept away. "Tl
water never was that high. 1t only can
II up To the first story window, but the cur
l. ed boys rubbed ii out three or four time
p, so put it up there where they can't get
- il. 1t takes Il smart man to CrcumNe
u those boys ''-T1T0S SittiutIS