The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-11-13
dow, and dash my brains out, but I felt
O fraid 70 dia was moi nanitent At

afraid to die. | was not penitent. at
times my heart was subdued, but my
stubborn pride rose instantly and bade
me not to yield. The pale face of my
mother haunted me. flung myself on
the bed, and fell asleep. I woke at mid
night, stitfened and terrified with fright.
full dreams.
I would have sought my mother at
that moment, for 1 trembled with fear,
but my door was fast. With the day
light my terrors were dismissed, and I
became bold in resisting all good impul.
ses. The servant brought my meals, but
I did not taste them. | thought the day
would never end. Just at twilight I
heard a light footstep approach my door.
It vas my sister who called me by name.
"What may I tell mother from you Z"
she asked.
"Nothing" I replied.
80, Alfred, for my sake and all our
sakes, say that you are sorry. She longs
to forgive you"
IT won't be driven to school against
my will," I said.
"But you will go if she wishes it, dear
Alfred" said my sister, pleadingly.
"No, 1 won't" said l, "and you
needn't say word more about it."
20, brother, you will kill her, and
then you can never have happy mo-
ment"
I made no reply to this. My feelings
were touched, but still resisted their
influence. My sister called me, but I
would not answer. heard her footsteps
slowly retreating, and again l flung my:
self on the bed to pass another wretched
and fearful night. o, God, how wretch
ed and fearful I do not know.
Another footstep, slower and feebler
than my sisters disturbed me. A voice
called me by name. Itwas my mothers.
"Alfred, my son, shall l come in (? are
you sorry tor what you have done?" she
asked.
1 Icannot tell what influence operating
at that moment, made me speak adverse
to my feelings. The gentle voice of
mother that thrilled through me, melted
the ice from my obdurate heart, and !
longed to throw myself on her neck, but
I did not. No, my boy I did not. But
my words gave the life to my heart, when
I said I was not sorry. l heard her with
draw. heard her groan. longed to
call her but / did not.
I was awakened from an uneasy slum.
ber by hearing my name called loudly,
and my sister stood beside my bed.
"Get up, Alfred O, don't wait a mo
ment! Get up aud come with me,
Mother is dying u i.
Thought I was dreaming, but | got
up mechanically, and followed my sister.
On the bed, pale and cold as marble, lay
my mother. She had not undressed, but
had thrown herself on the bed to rest.
Arising to go again to me, she was seized
with a palpitation of the heart, and
borne senseless to her room.
/ cannot tell you my agony as looked
upon her-my remorse was tenfold more
bitter from the face that she would never
know it. | believed myself murderer.
1 fell on the bed beside her-I could not
weep; my heart burned in my bosom;
my brain was all on fire. My sister
threw her arms around me and wept in
silence. Suddenly we saw slight mo.
ton of my mothers hand-her eyes
unclosed. She had recovered conscious.
ness but not speech-she looked at me
and moved her lips. I could not under.
stand her words. Mother, Mother" ]
shrieked, "say only that you forgive me-"
She could not say with her lips, but her
hand pressed mine. She smiled upon
me, and lifting her thin, white hands
clasped mine with them, and cast her
eyes upward. She moved her lips in
prayer and thus she died. I remained
still kueeling beside that dear form till
my gentle sister removed me. She com.
forted me, for she knew the heavy load
of sorrow at heart; heavier than the
grief for the loss of mother; for it was
8 load of sorrow for sin. The Joy of
youth had left me forever. f.
My son, suffering, as such memories
awake, must continue as long as life.
God is merciful, but the remorse of past
misdeeds is canker.worm in the heart,
that prays upon it forever.
My father ceased speaking and bur.
ried his face in his hands. He saw and
felt the bearing his narrative had upon
my character and conduct. Ihave never
forgotten it. Boys who spurn their
mothers control, who are ashamed to
own that they are wrong, who think it
manly to resist the authority, or yield to
her influence, beware! Lay not up for
yourself bitter memories for your future
years.
Though the boy who reads this may
not have kicked his mother, yet let him
think if he has never given his mother
or father some unkind words, or been
disobedient to their wishes in many
ways. Boys, beware! obey your parents
in all things, for God has commanded it;
and remember that disobedience to your
parents is sin against God!