Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-05-14
Shorty Ryerson's Tame Bear.


"a good many folks thinks, when
they see Shorty Ryerson for the fus'
time, that some time or other he must
ha' ben a layin' in the saw mill whar
the log had orter ben, with the mill
agoin' full split; but that amt it, /"
said old Sol, landlord of the tavern al
Sols Ridge. Shorty Ryerson had
just gone out. There was nothing re-
markable about his appearance ex'
cept that he was less than five feet
high, and that every square inch OF
one side of his face was a scar.
"No, that want it," said old Sol.
"You see, goin' onter five year ago
had tame bar, an KEEP him chained
to that pole out thar in the road
Him an Shorty was p'ticklar good
friends, and when Shorty wan doin'
nothin', which were generly from
daylight one mornin' till daylight mex
mornin', countin' Sundays, he war out
thar foolin' with that bar. They'd
cuddle down together an go to sleep,
Shorty an the bar would, jes' as
nat'ral 'zif they were both bars, an
it got so that when Shorty happened
to be away fur ten minutes the bard
git so Uneasy that ye could hear him
beller like a baby, all round the
Ridge. Shorty larnt the bar heap
O. smart tricks, an business was
s'pended half the time, an the folks
all out a-watchin' him putin the ban
through what he know'd.
"The thing that tickled 'em most
was the boxin' matches Shorty an the
bard give. Shorty had larnt that
bar so he stan up an spar with him
ez nat'ra ez life, and / swan if twan'-
MT sight good fur lifetime to see
'em stan thar an bat away at one an
other ez if they was a fghtin' fun
money an the stakes was up. Mother
thing that usety take the town down
was the way that bard walk right
inter the tavern with Shorty, when
ever any one invited him to take
sumpin', an stan thar long side o
him an take his glass o rum ez good
ez the best on 'em. That bar were q
harvest for Shorty, fur everybody
that'd come along'd haf to call Shorty
an Solomon-Shorty named the bar
Solomon cause he know'd so terrible
much-they'd all call Shorty an Sol
ONION in to hev sumpin'. Con'kence
was that both Shorty an the bar had
ther wuthless skins full pooty much
all the time. They got to be the
hardest drinkers on the Ridge, an !
uscty say the fust thing anybody
know'd they'd both git the jams.
"Wall, by-an'-by, Shorty an the
bar got to be a nuisance. | got tired
o seein' 'em p'formin' out thar in the
road, an suckin' rum, an the hull
town spendin' its time a-watchin' 'em,
an / threatened time an agin to shoot
the durn bar an stop the hull busi-
ness. But l hated to do it, an KEEP
a putin up with it an takin' it out
in cussin'. Shorty altuz commenced
business with the bar long about day
light, an the fust thing on the pro-
gram were alluz sparrin match.
One nice mornin' in June Shorty come
slufiin' down ez usual to begin the
days work. The bar were cuddled
up round the pole. Shorty give him
Il whack on the side an hollers out:
Come, Solomon! Git up an put up
yer hippers.'
The bar got up an put up his flip
pers. Ye see whar that panel o board
fence is, up thar by the hen house +?
Well, Shorty were picked up right
thar. They took him hum an sewed
his face up ez good ez they could, an
the bar were gone when Shorty came
back to the tavern three weeks arter-
w'ds. He never asked no questions
'cept to say, Solomon must ha' had
the jams, didn't he?
aye see, the night afore the bar
put up his flipper to Shorty, ez told
ye, an arter ev'ry body had gone hum,
tn were pedlar come long to stop
all night. He had durn ugly bar
with him that he'd traded fur, an the
dee struck me to trade Solomon for
that bar an $40 to boot, an l did.
The new bar were chained to the
pole, an by daylight mex mornin'
Solomon were on his way East. An
ye see, furgot to SEN word to Shorty
bout the dicker." New York Sun.
MI l.. III