Morning journal and courier., 1884-01-18
LASTING.

A man never sees the last of pair of ready made boots bought for himself.-Ne " Orleans Picayune.
 It makes red-nosed man mad to have the agent at the box-ofic say, You want 8 seat near the door, of course ?"-Ph iladelphia call.
 The Hartford Post cries out aloud and says: 'Let the melodeon squeak :" Let it :? Should like to see you prevent it.-Lowell Citizen.
 If a certain article of dress worn by 8 woman is basque, should the same article worn by little girl be called basket.-Oil City Derrick.
 There is no trouble in calling messenger boy and starting him out on errsnd Thoughts of eternity come, in waiting for him to return Boston Post. Longfellow wrote 'Excelsior'' in bed Post. Probably that is the reason that now they call sack of shavings an Excelsior mat tress.-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 "bumper. ."-''What's phrenoIogy, ma?" Bumps on the head, my dear" Was pa chronological when he came home the other morning and you were putting vinegar and brown paper on his head, ma?"-Fun.
 s.Why is nomination to public office so often called an empty honor?" asked boy of an old politician. s'Because my son., was the solemn reply, Git rarely fails, to emptythe pockets of the victim of the nomination"
 ''The Logan Literary Bureau" is responsi- bIe for this sentence "The soldiers seen him in them days and now knows what Lo gan has did for our Union" Evidently the Bureau is under the supervision of the old man hinself.-St. Louis Post-Despsteh. II don't see why you married Mir. Jones, he is so much older than you," said female friend to the blnshing bride. That's just the reason," was the reply; ''the contrast will make me look young enough to wear bangs for several years yet.' Philadelphia Crouicle-Herald.
 What is fame, anyhow? In 8 nonpareil corner of the Free Press the other day was little telegraphic despatch to the effect that Mir. Duke, of Portland, Ore, who was re- ported engaged to Mary Anderson, was not known in thas town The Duke of Portland ought to visit Oregon and get himself known. Detroit Free Press
 Philanthropist-'tBl me, my boy why are you sitting there looking 50 miserable ?" Boy-''I ain't mis'rible. !" Philanthropist- You have only one boot. sse2' Boy s'Yes, 'ev." Philanthropist-''Why don't you wear it, then ?" Boy-"Cos I've loaned it out for farden to another cove as hadn't got none.' Philanthropist-"Eh Oh! What for. pray?' Boy-"To kick that nicker with That's him over there playin' 'op- scotch. Judy.
 s'There goes Clara Mills. Joe, they tell mo it's all over between you two. Bagsley Is going to marry her, hear" Good tor Bagsley. Clara's nice girl. As for me, prefer some one else, that's all" "Aha ! Whom, may I inquire ?" :sWell-er, nobody: that is, haven't made up my mind quite.'' "Jos, old chap. the story that's going around is that you popped the question to Clara and got the wrong answer" II prefer some one else, tell you. don't know anything about your oossiping stories. asked Clara if she loved me. and she said she didn't and never could You wouldn't have me marry her in such case, would you? I simply dropped her, that's all''-Harpers Bazaar.
 Here's toast to the babies, God bless 'ann;
 May they coo when we gently caress 'em,
 May they sleep all night
 Till the morning light,
 Nor scream when their fond mothers dress 'eun.
 NConu X<..l- Io,..-