St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-08-23
THE CAPITOL.
No Report From the Experts-A Talk
With the Goddess.

As day follows day and the state capitol in
specting committee appointed by the governor
make no report of their doings appearances in
dictate that they have not found that roof with
its slipping trusses as safe as Architect Bufing
ton would have its scared denizens and theil
constituency believe, while he goes on cutting
bases out of the third story and shortening UP
the roof suspenders with jack screws.
The delay in making this report in which the
committee of examination will be very careful
not to compromise their regulations as experts,
would seem to anger that the "solidity of rock
has not been found, and that the balloon bust
mes of suspending falling public structures is to
be ignored for general plan of iron pillar sup
ports from the basement to The ceiling Of the
third story.
Yesterday the GLOBE representative having
procured a twenty-five cent string telephone
sent one of the pepper boxes up to the Goddess
of Justice by attaching it TO a toy balloon, and
secured an interview with the only person on the
premises he had not had private seance in re-
gard to the structure heretofore. The Goddess
clapped the tin to her left ear with ayidty, evil
IDENTITY glad of the chance to have a word from
the roof.
"Hallo Goddess!''
'Hallo Pltchfofksl''
''Are you feeling perfectly secure in your pres
ent Minnesota standpoint
mot at all. When l left Ohio my every nerve
was firm and rigid, but this internal jar foI
months below me has shattered every article OF
that description in my frame, and when the other
day sudden jolt spilled swallows nest out OF
my steel yards, nearly fainted.''
Don't you find any amusement in the ham
mer choruses ringing below you in the Legislative
halls, and the trowel serenades on fre-proot
cement which must reach your august ears very
dlstinctly:''
son the contrary, all this clangor is very dis
turbng and enervating, an at times l am
though of a generally stern and mobile dispose
ton, absolutely frightened, being apprehensiye
Of sudden collapse of all beneath my toga.
Then again with my right eye (all our family,
you know, are blind in the left optic) | can see
little fellows, besmirched with mortar and paint,
roaming about on the roof or on the grand plaza
! below like so many gophers, as If undermining
the very foundations beneath my pedestal.
''rhe architect thinks there is no danger, al
though there is some displacement of the main ribs
OF the wings and huge cracks in the inner walls
throughout the building, and TO save the next
Legislature when snow gets on the roof may call
| upon You to lend hand by holding up wire
chains in imitation of the towers of the Brooklyn
brldge during the winter should there De an I'M
usual snow fall
II should rather advise him to brace mp from
below, for to be candid sometimes feel my foot
ing very insecure and long for spikes in my bus
kins. Oh, no, dissuade him if possible from
such rash aeronautsh ideas, for in such case
could not quote the brave poet, which would be
necessary. "FrOm its firm base this rock shall
fly as as IL
''Well, goddess, to be plain / do think your
position safe on the dome, if no Attempts made
to tie tie 6eaegH drapery TO your skirts, but if
the wings are not soon supported on iron pnions
from below think very likely you and the dome,
sooneror lateg viii be playing lone hand in the
capitol square
'You make me feel uncomfortable enough
and every iron rivet in my bodice jingles with
fear, though in mind am still stern and inheX-
iblc as ever. Young man, if you have been Civ
ing this court taffy andI ever get you in my scales
] will tip the beam to your sorrow though ! mar
the flesh of my elbow in 10 doing. If provided,
on the contrary, you have been telling the whole
truth intimidation Of George Washington and our
next president, and nothing but the truth, shoot
Minneapolis architecture on the spot and you
shall 90 scot free in this the highest court in
Minnesota. -
Thereupon Miss Justice threw her pepper box
end of our air line communication over into the
boiler house smoke stack, TO still further hedge
up the nues therein at the expense of more state
anthracite next winter.