The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-01-19

| subjects for it suggested themselves to
me, but | rejected them rs being too
simple or not Interesting enough for
the people, for you see | was deter
mined to paralyze the entire commu-
nifty at one fell swoop. Finally | set.
| tied down on wrecking an excursion
train that was due early on the morning
of the LIST, as combining the most
points of advantage. .,.t
"When | come to look back at it
through the lapse of years and mist of
time, " Mr.. Haddock went on, in a low,
thrilling tone, Il know it was, indeed,
a deep-laid plot, and what cheerful,
sanguinary young creature | must have
been. | had the wreck occur about
four miles from the city, so as to pre-
vent any contradictory reports from
getting in too soon. | even hunted up
list of the excursionists, which had
been published in q rival newspaper,
and, cuttingit in two, headed one-half
'DEADn and the other half HORRIBLY
MANGLED. and then Incorporated it in
my account / went so far as to pick
out the names of fyeor siXladies whom
| recognized as prominent in society
(the eXcursiOnists were nearly all women
and children), and made them subjects
of special paragraphs, dwelling upon
their shocking mutilation, and pictur-
ing the CORY scene in all its sickening
details. The whole thing wound up
with description of how the coaches
caught fire and burned two or three
dozen of the victims alive.
''When the fatal night came around,
it seemed as if everything conspired in
my favor. | had been little afraid of
the foreman, for he had habit, COM
mon to foremen, of scrutinizing every
thing as though he was personally re-
spOnsible for the sentiments of the pa
per; but on that particular night he got
beastly drunk, and slapped in every
thing in Il perfectly reckless manner. l
was glad OF it, for I didn't want any
one to share the credit with me- Tread
the proof myself, and, to make long
story short, the paper came out with
my hoax displayed the next morning.
Il didn't 90 to bed at all that night,
so as to be on hand the first thing and
watch developments; and when walked
up to the Office after breakfast l was
delighted to see how the papers were
selling. Men wouldn't wait for any
change, but would tear them open and
read like mad; and | knew from scraps
OF conversation | heard as / passed
along that everybody was talking about
it. | remember, too, that there was an
unusual number of hacks dashing past,
and l noticed with secret Joy that they
were all pointed toward the depot.
| was little surprised though, to see
the street in front of the Office blocked
with people, and also at the corner,
where | encountered large delegation
who inquired the way. Idirected them,
but ] saw with an eerie feeling that the
gentleman who appeared to be the
spokesman carried bucket of tar in
his hand and had feather-tick under
his arm.
at seems strange to me, now that I
look the matter over calmly and dis
passionatelY, that it did not strike me
as peculiar that several men in the
crowd carried long, rough rails. or
that there was weird, solemn hush
upon the multitude, as th0pgh vii they ey
full of Joy and satisfaction that
climbed up to the editorial rooms, feel
ing only that l had succeeded beyond
my widest anticipations, and had only
to await my reward. Presently, from
down below, | heard kind of murmur
like the sea, only louder, and then a
man talking at the top of his voice, ap-
parently eXpostulating or explaining
something Then somebody came up
stairs four steps at q time, and the pro-
prietOr burst into the room. His name
was O'Niel. | can see him now. He
was short, fat man, with q ring of
stubby black hair like monks, around
his head. He had copy of the paper
in his hand, and as soon-as he saw me
he assumed a most peculiar expression
it was something like that of man
who sits down on tack and endeavors
to appear unmoved. l tried to look
modest and worthy.
'Haddock, he said, in g suppressed
voice, pointing to my article, 'Haddock,
do you know no did this?
yes, sir
"'WHo?'
"'I, sir.
sHe kept looking down at the floor,
so could see only his bald circle have
alluded to, but / noticed it turned a
deep, royal purple, and the thought
struck me that may be the knowledge
of having me on the staff for so long
without knowing my merits was going
to prove too much for him. He bore
up under it, though, and, swallowing
something in his throat, said, in calm
i can remember now what deathly,
calm tone it was: .... ...
Then let me inform you, sir, that
no such an accident ever took place.
"'I know it, l said, grinning.
ga rich, prismatic wave of color,
like piece of rainbow combining all
tints, passed over O'Niel's bald spot,
and, lest he might fall in fit, l took
!. the paper out of his hands and pointed
with triumphant chuckle to the date.
"'Don't you know | cried, gayly,
that everything goes on April list?
HE stared at me for an instant, and
then he burst into wild laugh; it was
not at all natural. but kind of CUR
Cling, insane sound, such as you hear a
star at theater make just before he
grabs his forehead, you know, and
says, Me brain reelsn
"'Do l understand you,' he finally
! asked, that everything senseless, and
false, and .idiotic should properly go to-
day%
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