The Mineral argus., 1884-12-18
In Favor of Peace.


Some time ago, at a public gathering
in Webfoot county, Col. Ladsmon was
selected 10 read the Declaration of In
dependence. He had not proceeded
far when an old fellow, who had come
with a large following of Dry Fork
boys, shouted;
"MTister, whut sort o. artikle is that
you're readin'?"
"The Declaration of independence,
sir"
"Wall, now, the wars ver out here
in this section an we don't want none
of that secesh business. L fit for the
south, an 1 shifted a good deal O. smoke
and stopped several pounds of lead, but
when 1 flung down my old fuzee ]
agreed that the scrimmage was dun.
Now, mister, I don't think that you air
dom right to come out here an read
that thing to the young folks. Lees
dead an Grants busted up, they tel
me, so what's the use in all this hurrah
business? L am as good a Southern
man as anybody, but 1 was nc
glutton. I've got enough, let me tell
you"
"My dear sir" said the. colonel, it is
possible that you do not understand
this documents glorious emblazon'
ment of principles for the establish
ment of which u forefathers shed
their sacred blood.
Needn't spill so much o. your edu-
cation, mister, fur l low that you'll
need it before you get to the end o
your row. 1 never toated college white
wash on the back o my coat, but I've got
years like a fox, an a eye that can tell
a blacksnake from a scorpion. That
thing you've got there is rank pizen,
| amt it Leviticus? z" turning to one Of
the Day Fork boys.
"That's what it is" Leviticus replied.
"That thing, mister, mout been all
right in 81, but it won't do now, for the
cradles rockin' in peace and the blue-
eyed gal with the peachy jaws is singin'
a sweet song in the orchard"
my dear friend,p said the colonel.
"let me explain. Gentlemen please
keep quiet. There is no need for ex-
| citement. When our forefathers were
oppressed by the British government
they threw off the yoke and declared by
this paper" shaking the Declaration o.
Independence, shat they we're free
They fought. bled, and maintained this
avowal of freedom; and this glorious
document will ever live as the greatest
national structure the world has evel
known"
"That's all right, mister" said tn,
man from Dry Forks, Fan is talked o
a heap pulitzer than I could do it, bu
the war is done over 1 don't see n,
blood round here. Do you, Leviticus?'
"Ain't found none yit," Leviticus re
piled.
"No, fur it's all dried up. Now
pardner," continued the advocate o
peace and the forgetfulness of war, 6
want your warrant of arrest and tai
about something that we slosh 'roun
in every day"
81 shall not put up this glorious pa
per-"
"Ain't thar no persuasion"
"No persuasion and no human fore
can make ne sheathe this great swor
of argument
"Oh, well, we don't want to have n
trouble, but I reckon yern put it up.
st swear that 1 will not"
go, 1 reckin yer will"
, 9TH die first"
sob, yes, you will. Put her VI
now, an come along with us boy
We've got a jug O. the best old stu
! down here you ever seed, an"
sold gentleman-old patriot OF
school whose session is closed-I al
with YOU" exclaimed the orator, throw
7 ing a quid of tobacco with a loud ''spat
on the bald head of a tax assessor. .
was taken in charge this morning by
/, party of Prohibitionists and have su
! fered much in the flesh. Now, my dei
sir, my deliverer, lead me to the col
secrated ground. The Declaration
l Independence can wait several yea
, longer; L cannot wait five minute
Here's to you, old patriot. "-Arkansa
Traveller.
s message received at the college observato'