Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-05-07
A "CUR'US" WILL.

A "CURUS" WILL.
"Ycs'm, tell you what, the world does
move.n The speaker was "Uncle"
Ben, n man without kindred, yet uncle
to everybody. Time was when a
woman would no more think of handlin'
money than of flynn. Why, as good a
man as old Deacon White would take
the cloth his wife had been a-weavin'
down to the store, git the pay for il, and
bring il home, and if she put as much
as her finger onto silver quarter, or a
bill, he'd snap out: Let that alone,
won't youP That 'ere's money
1.-The Gurus thing about it was she
never thought of answering him back,
and standin' up for her rights. 'Twan't
heard on in them days.
"Once in while, when Mis- White
wanted n new ribbon or somethin' I'M
common, I've seen that woman stan
and tease for fifty cents, and he'd pre-
tend he didn't hear her, and finally he'd
hand it over to her with dreadful
scowl onto his face, and say: Here It's,
Melissy, and don't you lusc it. Where's
your handkerchief to tie il up in?' And
Melssy would look as plesed as could
be, when perhaps she'd done seventy
five or hundred dollars with of
weavin' besides all her homework.
"But the meanest thing ever heerd
on was the way Joshua Tubbs portioned
of his darter Bctsey. You see she'd
spun and wove, and wove and spun, and
nevcr'd had nothin' of her own. She'd
got along in years, and was bent just
nigh about double. Poor woman, she
was rs crooked rs rainbow. She'd
got so that she was just a machine for
work. She never smiled nor nothin'.
Her father'd took all her airnin's and
had added farm TO farm-stunny kind
of land it was that wouldn't raise
nothin' but mulleins and huckleberries;
he'd been sailing down money, too, in
the bank-he was alters putin in an
never takin' out. Neighbors used to
say that his hens had mournful way
of cacklin', as if they knowed their
eggs would be grabbed afore they was
cold, and sold. There want no day so
stormy but what you'd see Joshua
Tubbs goin' by with a load o. ship
timber or bark, and on top o. that
would be one o Betsey's pieces o. fac
tory, or dozen hens eggs, or peck
"Wall, he'd laid up money amazin'
fast. When he came TO die he was with
fifteen thousand dollars or more, and how
dew you s'pose he pervided for Betseyp
Why, in his will he just give her hum
with her brother, Artemus, on the old
place, but not a cent she could call her
own. She couldn't work no more, she
was so wore out, she could not straight
en- herself up, and was old and humly,
and Artcmus and his wife, when they
found out she couldn't do nothin', they
didn't want her; so they was kinder
hard on her, and turned her off, and she
got low-spirited and derangcd-like, and
went over to job Watson's mill-pond
and drowned herself, and that was the
last o. her.
but the most cur us will that | ever
hcerd on was Deacon 'Bijah Clark's.
Remember it, don't you? You don't?
/ declare if I'd ever heerd it onct,
couldn't have forgot it. The Deacon
rally did think II heap o his wife, and
Esther Clark was good woman if ever
there was one. He was one o. them
men as thought a woman never ought
to touch money, and he'd pervided SC
she wouldn't have no trouble o that
kind.
Ellis will began like this: i, Bijah
Clark, of the town of Salem, considerin'
tho onsartainty of this mortal life, and
bein' of sound memory, blessed be AL.
mighty God for the same, dew give and
bequeath unto my beloved wife, Esther
Clark, all and singular, the personal
property which she owned at the time OF
her intermarriage with me- You sec
in them days wimmcn couldn't even
hold what was their own, and for that
matter, Esther hadn't nothin' but q
chist of drawers and feather bed
Also one-third part of the farm IN
Salem where ! now reside, the same tc
be taken from that portion not includin
the buildin's; also, the use and occu-
pancy of the southeast closet of the
house where / now reside; also the
privilege of cookin at the fireplace,
and the use of the tin baker in the
kitchen of said house during the term OF
one year and six months after my dc.
cease; the same to be in full recompense
of, and for any dover and thirds which
she may or can in anywise claim and
demand out of my estate
"Now, want that ere cur'usp And
not exactly easy for the old woman
was itp Don't know what 'Bijal
thought she was goin' to dew when tn,
eighteen months was up; couldn't cool
by the fireplace no more, couldn't
sleep in the bedroom, no money
nothin' TO to do but go and reside, q.
the lawyers say, on the one-third of the
farm not includin' the buildin's.
The will went on: Il give to my
niece, Liddy Clark, one wooden clock
two brass kettles, all my iron and hol
low ware, one fireshovel, two heifers
six yallow chairs, one Bible, one be,
with bedding and bedstead, Doddridge'
Rise and Progress in Religion on,
new chist, Doddridge's Regeneration,
one table, one stand with oil-cloth cove
for the same.
Z" TO my nephew, 'Lijah Clark, un
reservedly give and bequeath all the rest
residue and remainder of my persona
estate and effects not herein-before dis
posed of, includin' that one-third por
ton of my farm upon which are situated
my houses and tenementals.'
Tackled onto the last cend o. the will
was a codercil in which 'Bijah Clarl
give the children of his former pastor
Elder Eleazer Smith, "A set o. bluc
edged crockery-what there was ldf
on't-"Fox's Book of Martyrs'-cheer
full kind o readin' for the young folks
and brass warming-pan.'
"You see he got things dreadful,
mixed up, brass kettles and Bibles, bu
the will was drawn only q day be
fore his death, when things was gettin
kind o. misty in his own mind. III
meant that his wife shouldn't have m
trouble handlin' money. The dcacol
hadn't been dead n month, afore hi
| niece I.,ddv. dropned off too and thu