davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06
For 7he ArkaHJaw Travsle1.
 THE SANITARY CRANK.
BY !" DoAK.h

Of all social warts on the face of nature, the sanitary crank is, perhaps, the most offensive. He is at home, a despot 1; abroad, meddling impudent Paul pry.. His genus usually begin their wild careers by becoming converts to some two-for-a- cent religious denomination, who hinge the whole universe on some triAirk little matter, such as which day is Monday, or whether a shower or plunge bath is the more wholesome. He is next induced to patronize some health resort, 90 called favored only by the saints of his church, and there along with their peculiar toc- trines, he imbibes the peculiar sanitary ideas which make him a continental nuisance ever afterwards. He returns an enthusiast or more properly fanatic. He revolutionizes his family. The wife, who has always been accustomed to the good things of the table, if she is docile wife, is now fed on grasses and slops. His children, rosy and robust under a generous regimen, are now reduced to pallor and cancellation on mush and milk flor their health His chic occupation is the arrangement of the cuisine. He has his nose in every dish, and his finger in every pie. He goes to the market and purchases just what he chooses for the table. He has certain rules as to the cooking of them. There must be no salt, or no milk, or no eggs, or no something else. It must just be cooked in such a way, and for SO long time. Then as to quantity, the food is doled out as it is to sailor in the arctic on short rations. Then you must masti- cate just SO long, and you must drink only at certain times. You must take no coffee, no tea, no milk, no flesh, no any thing but slops of his invention. His wife may say, always supporting that she is the aforesaid docile wife: "John, would like some white bread, % much :" and John lifts up his hands in holy horror, and says: "My dear, don't you know that wheat -four is poison 1' or she may say Little Tommy Is getting quite puny, and think some nice beef tea will strengthen him up," and he will Tetort 1: Do you wish to kill the childS How often have I told you that meat was ruin ous to the health ?"
 If any of the family are sick, he is in his glory. He doesn't believe in doc tors. Oh, no 1! He knows more than sll the doctors, and so he packs them, and abuses them, and physics them, and blisters them, and diets them, until from sheer exhaustion they die. But he has the compilation of knowing they died by rule. As before intimated, he doesn't be. lieve in doctors, but while he rejects ed- ucased scienti6c thought he has the most credulous trust in a potato worn in the lett trouser pocket for the cure Of rheumatism, or horse- e-chestnut in the pistol pocket for the jaundice. But not only at home is he nuisance. You will fad him in- vesigating round the back-door of every body within five miles, and the first thing you know, you are gratuitousIy informed that you are living in constant danger of typhoid fever, malaria, the mumps, or some other malignant disease, that your sink drains are . disgrace to you, that your water is full ef animalcstz, that your wife don't dress properly, that f
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06

WILLIAM CULLEN BRYANT.
 go, thou peerless ofnature's students ! Thou art adored, yet to be piled Often with vail of sorrow didst thou pierce
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06

Large ears are said to denote geney. osity. The mule is very generous with his heeis.-PAikadsktAia Call
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06

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The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06
WIT" 85
 YOU oAs sseuss ssOLs Imperial Austrian ylspna City BoBf,

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The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06
INTERNATIONAL BANKING CO,
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The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
JAMES q. BLAINE.
A Non-Partisan Reception from the Bust
ness Men of Portland.


The reception TO Mr.. Blaine by the business
men of this city, at the City Hall tonight, was
n brilliant one The hall was packed, the seats
having been removed and the audience stand
ing, while the galleries were filled with ladies.
Mr.. Blaine held the reception in the Mayors Of
flee. At o'clock he was conducted TO the plat
form, leaning upon Congressman Reeds arm,
and being received with great cheering. Mr..
Reed, in happy speech, presented the business
men of Portland to Mr.. Blaine, saying, jocu-
larly, that If he attempted to present them
individually it would soon be apparent that
Mr.. Blaine was better acquainted with them
than he.
George Woodman as spokesman of the mer-
chants read an address to Mr.. Blaine, signed
by over 800 business men and firms of this city.
The address, after expressing qualification that
a citizen of Maine had been made the recipient
of the Presidential nomination, says:
Although we have not been able to agree with
you upon political questions, we have all had
confidence in your integrity az man and your
purity and ability as a statesman, and we are
united in conviction that, should the people
of the United States ratify the choice OF your poll
tical associates, you will give the country an adj
ministration unrivaled in its wise solicitude
and practical measures for the promotion OF all
our material interests, and for its painstaking
care for the publication and perfection of all the
public service.
Mr. Blaine replied as follows:
Feilow-citizens. do not know how to express
my sense of the great honor you pay me in this
most cordial reception. all the more grateful be-
cause not rendered in a partisan spirit or for
partisan advantages For the business men of
Portland i have, from personal knowledge al
ways entertained profound respect. In no COM
munity has higher standard of mercantile
honor been maintained, nor a more taintless
commercial credit, than in your city, and the
prosperity You enjoy Is the legitimate fruit of
comprehensive intelligence, industry, and cour-
ageous enterprise. Though never a citizen of
Portland, was resident among you for nearly
three years, beginning in 1857 and ending
In 1852 During that time 1 was editor of
the Daily AdUerttser, and in constant
intercourse with the business and professional
men of the city. j recall no more pleasant
period, and In a wide sense no more profitable
period in my life. A quarter OF century has
since elapsed marked with events OF world
wide importance, but the flight of years has not
dimmed my appreciation OF the friendships /
then formed, nor the great kindness 1 received
in Portland. Were i to recall the long list of
eminent men OF both parties, now no more,
whom was then permitted to number among
my friends, time would fail me, and this large
assemblage, called for a friendly greeting OF the
living. would be turned to eulogy of a past gen.
Grafton"
Introductions to Mr.. Blaine followed. many
gentlemen being introduced.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
Laughing Jim's Little Joke.

Many years ago there lived in Put
nam, Mich, one James Dismukes,
called Laughing jim" He was fond
of his dram, and under its influence was
noisy. On one occasion, when the
Superior Court was in session, he went
into the courtroom, created q great
deal of disturbance, and as he could
not be kept quiet, the Judge ordered
the Sheriff to take him to Jail and lock
him up. When the Sheriff arrived at
the Jail with him he unlocked the door
and ordered him to enter the cell. Dis
mukes pretended to be afraid to go first,
and asked the Sheriff to lead the way.
He did SO. AS soon as he entered the
cell Dismukes suddenly closed the door,
locked it, took the key with HIM, and
returned in great glee to the court
room, and getting on the top OF a box,
he addressed the court aud said: "Y our
honor, here is the key to the jail, and
when you want your Sheriff you will
find him locked in Jail" This brought
down the court and the bar, and Dis
mukes went scot free.-DetrOit Free
Press
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
Campaign Notes.

The Valparaiso Qnd.) Herald, Demo
cratic paper has come out for Blaine and
Logan.
TIMOTHY HEENAN, a prominent Demo-
crat of Appleton, Wis, declares his inten-
ton to vote for Blaine and Logan.
THREE st. Louis papers of hitherto
Democratic proclivities have come out for
Blaine and Logan and in opposition to
Cleveland. They are the EUenipg Chroni-
Gle, the Westtiche Post, and the American
CeH.
A GREAT political meeting in which
thousands of colored people participated,
was held at Cambridge Ohio the principal
speakers being Senator b. X. Bruce and
the Rev. James Pointdexter, popular col
ored orator. The enthusiasm for Blaine and
Logan found vent in various ways.
Mr.. DANA's opposition to Cleveland de-
rives most significance from the fact that it
was not determined on until after due de-
liberation and when it became apparent that
Cleveland's election was impossible. Mr..
Dana did not begin to sheer mt Hancock in
1880 until he realized the hopelessness of
his candidacy.
WAS it Carl Schurz who said, in politi-
cal speech few years ago: Only once
have L slept in side-room of the Demo-
cratic party, and there / have heard enough
not to vote Democratic ticket again in my
life. Yes my hand shall wither before
do so again" Is this the Carl Schurz who
not only will vote for Cleveland, but pub
licly boasts he can even stand Hendricks.
Well, well!
JOHN G.. WHITTIER, the poet, in letter
to Mr.. Cabot Lodge, Chairman of the Mas
sachusetts Republican Committee inclos-
ing subscription TO the campaign fund,
says he is not prepared to abandon Repub-
licanism and go over to party whose prin-
ciples and measures he has opposed for a
quarter of a century. He hopes that Mas
sachusetts will give the usual majority to
the Republican ticket this fall.
CAPT. MANGAN, an Irish American SOL
der of Fond du Lac, Wis, who fought in
Gen. Bragg's brigade, has published n letter
to his fellow countrymen in the Fond du
Lac Congressional district exhorting them
to vote against Bragg in the event of his
receiving the Democratic Congressional
nomination, and against Gov. Cleveland in
any event, Capt. Mangan denounces
Bragg and Cleveland as enemies of the
workingmen and political Know lettings.
THE Democrats of Georgetown, Ohio,
were badly taken in last week. They held
ratification meeting and persuaded Mr.. l..
Vananda, a lifelong Democrat, TO make
speech. Judge of their surprise when
the gentleman delivered himself of the fol-
lowing: ow-Democrats-Yo have
persisted that l should address you. i do
so very reluctantly. You have had doctors,
city officials, and the legal fraternity TO ad-
dress you and represent you this evening
As daily laborer, l represent the laboring-
classes, and as such / will briefly say to
you that if l live till next November 1 will
most assuredly vote for Blaine and Logan. ;"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21

snce with the opinion of . large ma
1ority OF the American people of both parties
We must submit to IL till we can convert them
President Eliot expresses the sentiment Of a lit
tie bo1y Of men about Cambridge; 1 am happy
TO believe he does not represent the college
whose influence, in my judgment, has tended
infinitely TO degrade the public life of the Com
monwealth. These men have taught our edu-
Gated youth TO be ashamed of their own history
They have told them that "since the close of the
war there has been no time when young man
knew how he could honorably serve his coun-
try. They were preaching in the same strain
during the war and before the war. Their eyes
are microscopes which can blemish on the
skin, but cannot take In n fair landscape or a
healthy human figure: They can find no states
manship and no public virtue in the payment
of the debt. In the settlement Of
the currency, in the return to
specie payment, in the sublime elem
ency that dealt with the conquered after the
war. In the great self-restraint Of the Alabama
treaty, in the miraculous development of our
manufacture, in the creation of our great
domestic commerce, in the peaceful settlement
OF the disputed Presidential succession. There
Is hardly man who has taken any of the re-
sponsibilities of public life who has not been
compelled to undergo the contemptuous criti-
cism of these gentle hermits of Cambridge. 1t
has been so from the beginning. Even the men
whom they are now most eager TO praise and
whose examples they cite to show the decay of
modern statesmanship-they dealt the same
measure To in their time-John Adams and his
illustrious sons. Sumner, Andrew, Wilson. as
they erect their mausoleum to each, they should
write over IL the Inscription Our fathers stoned
this prophet, and we build his sepulchre.'
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
Formulation of Michigan.

In the following table is presented, by
counties, the total population Of Michigan
in each of the years 1884 and 1880, and the
increase or decrease in 1884 compared with
1880. The table is complete except for the
counties of Isle Royal and Ontonagon, and
the township of Burt in Schoolcrlft Coun-
ty, from which the census returns for 1884
have not been received. The totals for
1SS4are the results of the first count of the
population as shown by the schedules re-
turned to the Office of the Secretary of the
census enumerators, and are still subject to
corrections.
The population June l, 1884, of all of
the counties named in the table was /, $780,
925. The population in 1880 of Isle Royal
and Ontonagon was 1920. If there has
been neither increase nor decrease in these
counties, the population of the State June
l, 1884, exclusive of Burt, in Schoolcraft
County was 1853, 545, an increase of &c.
COS compared with 1880 The township of
Burt was not organized until 1882.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
A Suburban Tragedy.

He had for long time promised to
have telephone wire run between the
house and his office, so that his wife
could call him up and talk to him dur
ing the daytime, but many delays oc-
Cured.
When he went home one day she met
him at the door.
"Tve solved the difficulty" she said.
1--WE need not be separated any longer. !"
"What do you mean?"
why, they have been so long put
ting telephone in that l became dis
couraged and purchased megaphone.
And what's megaphone?" he
gasped.
a nice instrument that will enable
me not only to talk to you, but to hear
what you are doing all day, and"
She did not finish. A form flew out
of the door. A pistol-shot rang out
upon the air.
He had died game
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
Let the Tattoo BE HOnOred.

We have tattooed man. Let the name
be honored. Also on the skirmish line /
have heard the tattoo in the drawn battle
when the weary army went to rest knowing
that tomorrow would be sulphury again.
The tattoo was beaten next when the camps
and hospitals too were glad with victory,
and blessed in the heavens by fevered eyes
the stars seemed to shed the gentle music
back. Finally the tattoo dissolved the noble
army which, surviving thousand half
hearted Generals and despairing moral phi
losophers, marched before its long insulted
President with modest mien and hallowed
feelings of gratitude to God that it had per-
severed to the last and never mutinied by
the way. November next the tattoo will be
beaten upon another dead rebellion when
the tattoed man walks up the White House
porch and says my countrymen, ave!"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21

For the week ending Aug Q, 1884. the reports
indicate that erysipelas. typho- malarial fever,
inflammation of bowels, and neuralgia in
creased, and consumption decreased in area OF
prevalence.
AT The State capital the prevailing winds
were northeast and, compared with the pre-
ceding week, the temperature was lower, the
relative humidity more, the absolute humidity
and night ozone less, and the day ozone the
same.
Including reports by regular observers and
others, diphthera was reported present during
the week ending Aug q, and since. at IL places,
namely Alamo, Detroit. Grand Rapids, Grove
land, Holly, kalamazoo, Leland Maple Rap
ids, Manistee, Monroe Muskegon, Vassar: scar
let fever at places, Columbiaville, Detroit,
Grand Rapids, Jasper, Muskegon; measles at
places Detroit. Grand Rapids, kalkaska, Kali
amazoo Ludington. South Haven.
HENRY y. BAKER. Secretary.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
GEN. LOGAN.
His speech at Hcrkimer, N. Y.
TITtfco anacioI

Gen. Logan had public reception upon arriv-
ing in Herkimer. n. Y. He was received with
long continued applause He said:
Ladies and Gentlemen of Herkimer:
IL Is very gratifying to me to enjoy the great
pleasure have here Today of meeting so many
of you. As was said by my friend, Senator
Miller, came here on a social visit to fulfill n
promise made him, in fulfillment of which it
IL certainly a very great pleasure TO me TO meet
YOU on an historic spot, remembering that to-
day on the way here pissed over ground,
from the time we started this morning till we
landed, where our forefathers defended the
liberties OF this people-trom West Point, pass
ing the headquarters occupied by the Father
OF his Country at Newburg, and from
thence TO this point where the Indian used the
scalping- knife, and where Britons fought for
the purpose of subiugating and dominating the
country. Passing along this beautiful valley
there appeared to my view scenery whose
grandeur came from the touch of Natures hand,
and then unfolded itself for the benefit of man
kind. With all the surroundings, all the fer
tility OF the soil, with your great wealth, with
the civilization of your people, with all that IL
pleasant, gratifying, grand and beautiful, with
churches dotting the hills and valleys, your
beautiful homes that we find everywhere, with
along your rivers your production of soil, IL
seems TO me that our desire should be 10 make
this peaceful country one in which man could
dwell with good. amicable relations forever. So,
too. in this grand State of New York, whenever
this country has been threatened in any way by
internal dissensions or hostile foe from without,
IL has always been ready TO bear our flag and
stand by tt, and to put its strong arms TO the
rocking pillars OF this mighty Republic, and rest
and steady them for the benefit OF mankind.
tApplausel You, as citizens of New York, in
the history Of to-day. enjoy a reputation which
any others might envy So too, A might say an
American citizen, find him where yOu will,
should be proud OF his countryside country
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21

that has made him by giving him the right that
. citizen should enjoy, and the country that he
the oes bsy and
Take our land from east to west, from north TO
SOUTH with all its prospects and promises, with
take the civiIinatio'. Of t the American people
their Advancement and achievements, and the
glory resting on the American name to-day,
mitted to enjoy the benefits OF any Government.
(Applausel There is but one thing for the Amer
lean people to do-with a grand present, with
liberty and privileges enjoyed by no others;
the earth; with civilization that goes in adj
vance of all others; with all that there is to
make this great, peaceful, and happy nation
that is, to look well at all times to their own In
terests and see that their country il preserved
and protected. its laws executed, It's liberty pre-
served. its civilization advanced, and all the
enjoyments that can come to man can be found
here beneath the old flag. Let that tree of lib
erty planted by the forefathers its roots watered
by the blood OF the patriots, extend its branches
to the four corners of our land. Let its fruit
grow, and ripen. and burst with its own rich
ness TIL every one entitled TO its benefits may
rest beneath that flag and pluck that fruit and
partake thereof. lApplause.l Ladies and gen.
tlemen. i return to you my heartfelt thanks for
the kindly greeting have received from you to-
day. met along the road the citizens OF your
grand State, who showed kindly feeling
toward me personally. / certainly return
the same kind feeling toward them. III / should
ever return here hope TO meet you as one citi-
zen meets another, and that we take one another
by the hand as friends only To the old veter-
ans met here to-day let me saw to them there
Is nothing / enjoy more than to take the hand OF
an old soldier that endured the fatigues of war
with that this country might live. i feel at all
times grateful 10 them. who, at your will, with
loyal hearts behind them, with kind greetings to
them, with the prayers of Christians for them
and God bless the women that smoothed the
brow of the sick, wounded, and dying soldier
with all this they went forward that the old flag
might be unfurled from the icy shores of the
lakes in the north to the land OF everlasting
flowers, so that each and every citizen might
enjoy the same privileges, no matter where born,
or what his complexion may be. thank you
again, ladies and gentlemen, for your kindly
greet inps
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21

would doubtless change the sentence which
declares that the questions involved in this
campaign are "moral" rather than "politi-
CAL" When they made this declaration
they invited an inquiry into the private
character of their candidate for President,
which has brought to light most unsayory
scandal. Not one of them has dared to take
the responsibility of saying that the mat
tiers alleged against Gov. Cleveland are not
true. A few of the perfectionists have SO
far recovered from the shock produced by
the bursting of this bombshell as to say
that they don't want any mud singing"
The missile which struck their model can
didate was filed with something worse than
mud. Hot lava or Greek fire could not have
been more whitening in its touch.-Boston
Journal
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
A Study from Nature.

Mrs. Blank-What have you been
doing with yourself, dear?
Mrs. Plank have been out on the
hotel lawn playing croquet.
Mrs. Blank noticed the game has
been revived, but don't like it. 1t is
trying on ones goodnature. Now, tell
me honestly, did You keep your temper
during the whole game?
Mrs. Plank-Oh, yes; easily. Ny
husband did not play.-Phiiadeiphio
Call.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
In the Jail at Flint are sixteen person,

In the Jail at Flint are sixteen persons
from Mount Morris Township, who for
months have been living in a hut and cher
ishing the belief that they are the victims
Of evil spirits. One woman of the party is
a complete mental and physical wreck from
fear. They cut Sits in the ears of all their
cattle and hogs TO let the devil out, believ-
ing these TO be also affected like themselves.
They were arrested for disoyderly conduct
on the complaint Of their neiehbors.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21

james Keller, boot and shoe jobber
of Detroit. has suspended payment on obi
cations to the amount of $4,000.
George E. Goodyear, Cashier of the
Hastings National Bank for the past fifteen
years, died Of consumption Of the liver at
the ace of 80 years
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-21
Health I'm MICHIGAN.

Reports to the State Board of Health. Lansing.
by observers of diseases in different parts of the
State show the principal diseases which caused
most sickness in Michigan during the week
ending Aug. .. 1884, as follows. Number OF OBJ
servers heard from, So: