Morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven [Conn.]) 1848-1894, 1884-04-10
MADE IN YAIN.

We are told nothing was made in vain; but
how about the fashionable girl? Isn't she
maiden vain?-Salem Sunbeam.
A Cedar Rapids editor wants any young
lady who ''jumps at conclusions" to con-idsr
him . conclusion. Electric Light.
A Burlington mother has niracuIously
cured her youngest hopeful OF smoking by
the laying on of hands.-Burlington Free
Press.
That ''tired, sinking feeling which medi-
cal men speak of is usually experienced by
people who fall overheard from a boat and
can't swim.-Somsrville Journal.
A French philosopher says a woman may
love or hate, but she can never be indiffer-
ent. Guess he has ever seen the look that
comes over woman'sfaoe when her husband
asks il there il such thing as a shirt button
in the house.-Baltimore Day.
ospective.-Lady-"Hs my poor
man, is a ticket for a dinner ct the soap
kitchen; and you can eat az much there as
viii suffice for to morrow and she day after F"
MsndicAnt-t'Thanky kindly, mum; but I'd
rather like first to eat suouRh fer yesterday
and shs day afore, il il would make no diff
ference to you to write thatdown on the tick
st.''-Judy.
a Sabbath school teacher, says an ex~
change. had grown eloquent in picturiug to
his little pupils the beauties of heaven, and
AS AnAAAT 6DAoUs W Hh6 KING OF uGElS DOyB
90 TO heaVen?" A lively little four-year- -old
boy, with kicking bOsts, fouriShed his fist.
''Wsh, you may answer said his tsacher.
"Dsad onesl" shouted the little fellow, at the
extent of his lungs.-Exchange.
Prominent StRtesmau-'Send out reports
that am very Ill and have become a total
wreck" Private Secretary (aRhast)-''But
you weigh 200 pounds If you weigh an ounce,
and you look rs though you hadn't been sick
n a nf -
Statesman-''Yes, I know that; but I am
thinking of entering the race for the presi
dsney, and popular fancy seems to drift to-
wards total wrecks. 1 will reoeive no callers
until after the convention. ."-Oil City Biz
zard.
Financial Statistics.-Jim Webster, hard
looking colorsd man, was brought 80 JUS
tice in Austin for stealing some money from
the house OF Colonel Jones, one of the n1es3
respectable citizens. Said the Judge very
imprsssively to jim: "Don't you know that
no good can come from stolen monsy-that
there Is q curse on it?" 'Boss didn't know
Colonel Jones stole dat money, allus 'spect
ed him OBJ bein' an homes man. White folks
am gsttin' TO be mighty unreliable no wadays :"
Texas Siftings.
It is true, my son, that the rolling stone
gathers no moss, but then it doesn't want to-
What good would a ton of moss do to the
rollipgsst stone that ever started down hillp
1t would only impede its progress, stop it
somewhere on the incline and make It q
stationary stone, just what it doesn't want to
be. For the stationary stone to accumulate
moss is perfectly right and proper, but a roll
ing stone has no desire to go into the moss
business. What it wants to do is to bang
things and kick up a duss.-Burlington
Hswkeye.
''CEcELIA"
O, hung be the heavens In black;
His ''Gurly hurdle" went back on Jack;
His little mind In terribly racksd,
OH great big woman, what Whsck;
Ycu mistaken in me,
was mistaken in you;
1t is nutuai, let it drop.
''CecsliA,"I I bid you adieui
-"LsResoms Jack"