davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30

The Farmers Private Railroad Sta
tion.-"We made a singular dis
covery the other day." remarked an
official of a road running into Chi
cago. "About three miles beyond a
certain station on our line there is a
farm house by the side of the track.
Just beyond the farm house is a little
creek, over which there is a small
bridge. About four years ago some
repairs were made to that little bridge,
and, of course, the bridge gang had
put up a signbcard Run slow on
either side during the day or so the
bridge was weakened. When they
had finished their work. they went Off
and forgot the signs. The fact is, the
board had disappeared, and they
didn't take the trouble to hunt them
up.
"Some weeks afterward, no one
knows just when, these signs reap
peared in their former places. Nobody
knew who put them there and what
for. Nobody cared. II the section
men noticed them at all they thought
the bridge men had done it. 1t was
none of the engineers business why
they were there-it was their duty to
observe regulations, which required
them to slow down at all such signs.
Observe regulations they did. For
about four years not train had pass
ed over the little bridge without slow
ing almost to standstill. The cul-
vert, for that's all it is, has been as
safe as any part of the roadbed, and
yet stopping and starting trains there
has cost this campany thousands of
dollars. You know, it costs money
to stop and start trains.
you are wondering how it all
comes about, of course. Well, that
farmer stole those boards and put
them up againat his leisure. For
four years he has been going into the
town or coming from it onour trains,
getting on and off right at his own
door. It was slick scheme, and
low he must have laughed at us and
enjoyed, it all the while. But his
game is up now, and the engineers
are having their revenge by keeping
up an Internal screeching of their
whistles at all hours OF the day Or
light Whenever they pass the farm
OuScn
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
a LamentabIe Mistake,
Boston Transcript.

Johnny was told he might have
half the grapes. When his mother
went to the cupboard she found he
had taken all and left none for his
sister. When spoken to by his
mother, he replied: Mamma. I'll
tell you just how it was. When [ had
eaten half of the grapes [ ha opened
TO think that I'd eaten up Grace's
half instead of my own. I was real
sorry, but then l couldn't help it. I'd
given her part of my half, only they
were so good that they were all gone
before [ knew it. :"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30

powerful afoat, has been lying up in
Malta harbor, sheer hulk, with her
crew transferred to the port admiral's
flag ship. 1t is surely a scandalous
nay, more, a criminal-waste of
public property and money, to be
constantlylaying down and estimating
for new war ships, while vessel,
able with its sister ships, the Devasta
ton and Dreadnausht, to sink any
SIX vessels IN any navy, is left to rust
and rot simply because sailors have
prejudice against her and look upon
her as an ''unlucky ship"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30

In order to break down the high
prices charged for ccal ty the retail
dealers in Philadelphia, Tho Daily
Record of that city few weeks ago
announced that it would ell orders for
coal at 1915. per ton, the price de-
manded by the Retail Coal Dealers
Association being So so. Up to Mon
day the Record had fled orders for
4, 923 tons, its largest sales being on
Saturday, when orders for SIS tons
were filed. There are indications that
the retail dealers will be forced to re
duce rates.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
A Accommodating Expedition.
Georgia Cracker.


A young negro man looked in al the
window at the Atlanta police station
and anxiously inquired:
'Captin', is you alls got Bill Davis
in de callyboose yit?"
Eyes; do you want to see him?"
''No, sab! [ dcss want ter kno'
whudder could go down ter his
house ter night"
'Well, you can ask him!"
81 don't wanter OK i'm; I dess want
ed ter kno' eff he wuz hyar, an gwin-
ter stay inl"
"W hat do you mean?"
well, boss: Use co't1n Bills gal,
an'-an'-yer see, Use dc berry same
niger what he busted down Ell
panel oh fence wild las Chuseday
nightp
He was assured that Bill was safe
for the night.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30

Frankfort hills. Looking off from one
of theses steep and rugged ascents,
Ezekiel remarked: Il don't know
how we are to get down here, Daniel;
but you take the horse by the bride
and [ will follow on behind and hold
on to his tail when he is in danger of
tipping over"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
He Was Too Near the Grave to Lie.
New York Sun


A feeble old darby struggled pain
fully in.
Boss" he said, "rse an ole, ole
man. I was bon In ole Vahginny an
libbed dar mos on to 50 year, an [
want yo' ter assis' me er little dis
mawnin' boss, eff yo' pleas, sah?"
You knew George Washington, of
courseg"
''No, sab; I nebber seed him.
"Whatl You lived in Virginia 9S
years and never saw George Washing
ton?"
F'Dat am er fac boss. Use an homes
ole man, an am too far gone il dis
worP fer to tell er lie. I nebber seed
young George, but Lor' sab, his POI
ole gran'fadder and gran'mudder used
ter think er pow'ful sight oh me,
boss"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
A Peaceful Death

''And was his death peaceful one?"
an old lady asked concerning one
who had recently departed.
"Well, yes, madam" was the re-
Spouse, cit might be called peaceful,
it certainly was full of pieces. He
was blown up with dynamite.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
Rot a Good Comparison.

Doesn't that man remind YOU of
the sea?' said pretty girl on Fourth
street to ner companion. as a very
fashionable masher went by.
" I don't know. How do you
means'
ooh, because he is such a heavy
swell
eyes, dear" was the quiet response,
'but you know the sea swell IS salt"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
4 Jewel.
Providence News.

80, you are the new girl, e" said the
boarders to the new waiter; "and
by what name are we to call you?"
Pearl, said the maid, with a saucy
toss of her head
"Oh!" asked the smart boarder,
"are you the pearl of great price,"
"No; I'm the pearl that was cast be-
fore SWINE"
There was a long silence, broken
only by the buzz of the flies in the
milk pitcher.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
ANTsDOTE 70 MALARIA.

HE FEELS LIKE a NEW NAN.
"I have had Dyspepsia, with Constipa-
t1on, TWO years, md have triets ten different
kinds of pills, and TUFTS ore the FIRST
that have done me any good. They have
cleaned me out nicely. My appetite Is
splendid, food digests readily, and now
have natural passages. L feel like new
man." W.D. EDWARDS, Palmyra, O.
Soldeyerywherc, 25c. Office, AZ Murray my.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-10-30
CHIcAGo:
mMEEWA UKEE
AND S.. p AUL.

AND an ~. T. - - g
Northern Illinois, wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa and
Dakota; and It's main lines, branches and connec-
west and Far West, it naturally the descrip
ton of Short Line, and Best Route besween
Chicago. Milwaukee. St. Paul and
Minneapolis.
Chicago, milwaukee,, Portage, La
Crosse and Wsnona.
Chicago. Milwaukee. 0rsonvtlie, Abb
eraeen and Glendale.
Chicago, milwaukee, Eau Claire and
saltwater.
Chicago, milwaukee, Wausau and
Merrill
Chicago. milwaukee,, Beaver Barn.
Fond du Lac and Oshkosh.
Chicago. Milwaukee, Waukesha and
0cenomowoc.
Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison ard
Prairie du CHEN.
Chicago, milwaukee, Owatonnn, HAN
kato and FaribauIt.
Chicago. Beloit, Janesvtlie and Min
eraI Point.
Chicago, Elsin, Rockford and Du-
buque.
Chicago. Clinton, Rock Island, Cedar
Rapids and Tama.
Chicago. Des Moiaes, CouncfI Bluffs
and Omaha.
Chicago. Canton, Sioux City, Sioux
Falls and Yankton.
Chicago. milwaukee, Albert Lea and
Southern Minnesota Points.
Chicago. milwaukee, Mason City.
Mitchell and Chamberlain.
Eock Island. Dubuque, St. Paul and
Minneapolis
Davenport. CalEnar, St. Paul and Min
neapoIzs.
milwaukee. Racine, EseIoit, Freeport,
and Rock Island.
Mitchell. Nolsey, Ashton and Aber-
deem.
Jim River Valley Line)
PsIEni an SIeepers and the Finest Ds1,inJ
Cars an the srorld are run on the main lines OF
the CHICA GO, MIL YA UAEE EST Pa UL
RAILWAY, and every attention is paid to pas
sengers By courteous employees OF the Company.
8. 8. Merrill, Az. z. Carpenter,
Gen1 Manager. Gen1 Pass. Agent
J. Il. Clark, Gee. II. Heaffora,
GenH eupt. ASST Gen'l Pass. Agt
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
FIeHIN0.

IEllA Wheeler Walcox in New York SUM-
Maybe this b sun, sitting tn the sun,
With book ana pafa1oa, as my ang13
whAe be dips Nh line in IL OCEAN bri,s,
Cnisr tn Alln hist his bait VIII catch
lis romantic-yesl but must confess
Thoughts of shady rooms at home somehow
seem more inviting.
SUIT dare mot move. Quiet, there, my
love-
Says my angler, for think . monstrous
dsh is biting"
Oh, of course, it's bhss-stin how hot it isl
And the rock Tn sitting ON grows harder
every minute,
" lille my fisher waits, trying various bats
But the basket by his side, l see, has moth
ing in IT.
It is Just the way to pass a July day
Arcadian and sentimental, dreamy, idle,
charming.
UT how fierce the sunlight falls, and the way
that insect crawIs
Along my neck and down my back is really
quite alarming.
Amy luchf' I gently asked of the angler at
his task,
There's something pulling at the line" he
said: I've almost caught it.
But whsa, with blistered face, we our
hoHeward steps retrace,
We take the little basket just empty as
we brought IT.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
To he Unamerican Is IntOlerable.

A well-known writer has said that he
should send his boy to the west TO be
educated, where life was very lively,
very American.
1t is indeed noticeable that western
life is very lively. In fact, the distin-
gushing feature of western life is its
spontaneity.
One cannot pick up a western paper
without finding an account of some
sprightly affair closing in this way: If
the villain is caught he will surely be
iynched.
Another very common thing is the
article ending thus: The whole country
is aroused, and the murderer can hardly
fail to meet the fate of his unfortunate
victim.
One reads often of the lively little
parties of which the finale is: The
wretch was hung to a convenient tree
and lis carcass was riddled with bull
let's
A feature of this very American west
ern life, as one gathers from the enter
prising local journals. is the affairs where
the citizens brook no opposition, and it
is doubtful If the walls of the Jail are
able to preserve this fiend in human form
from violent death. =
Yes; the west is the only place for a
young man to be educated in. Life is
so very lively. SO very spontaneous, so
very American.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20

The best interests of humanity de-
pend on the good health of our women
folks, and yet those with brightest in
tellects seem to suffer most with all
ments peculiar to female life. 1t is
we'll to remember that that the whole
female system can be built UP to a
proper state of endurance, .pimples,
sores. swollen limbs, monthly pains,
and other indications of female disease,
made to disappear and robust health of
mind and body take the place of i'll
ness and distress. if timely use is
made of DR. Guysottss Yellow Dock
and Sarsaparilla. 1t restores the blood
to perfect health. it strengthens the
muscular and nervous system 1t gives
tone to the digestive and urinary or
gans. 1t allays all irritation of the
mucous membrane. In word, II Is a
perfect female medicine, and aids
every function of female life No other
remdy equals it. Have your druggist
get it. Take no substitute
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20

Are you disturbed at night and broken
of your rest by sick child suffering and
crying with pain of cutting teeth? If
so, send at once and get bottle of Mrs.
Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Chill
dren Teething. Its value is incalcula-
bic. 1t will relieve the poor little suf-
ferer Immediately. Depend upon it,
mothers, there is no mistake about it. 1t
cures dysentery and diarrhea, regulates
the stomach and bowels, cures wind
collie, softens the gums, reduces inflam-
nation, and gives tone and energy to the
whole system Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
ing Syrup for Children's Teething is
pleasant to the taste, and is the prescrip-
ton of one of the Oldest and best female
nurses and physicians in the United
States, and is for sale by all druggists
throughout the world. Price 25 cents
a bottle. mar1Odm.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
AYERS
HairVigOr

restores, with the gloss and freshness Of
youth. faded or gray hair 70 natural. rich
brown color. or deep black, ss may be desired
By = use light or red hair may be darkened.
tim hair thickeaaei. and badness often.
though aot always. cured
1t checks failing Of the hair. and stimn-
l.ts.s weak and sickly growth 10 vigor. Il
prevents aad cures scurf and dsndruH, and
heals nearly every disease peculiar e the
scalp. A. a Ladies' Hair Dressing, the
VisoR Is unequslled Il contains neither OIL
nor dye. renders the hair soft, glossy, ami
silken in appearance. and imparts delicate,
agreeable. and lasting perfume.
MR C P. BRlcHKR writes from kirey, O.,
jag 5, I>s2 Last fan my hair commenced
falling cut. and in a short time | became
nearly bald. | used part OF q bottle q
AYERS HAIR NIGoR. which stopped the fall
ing Of the hair and started a new growth.
have now a fun head of hair growing vlgor-
ausly, and am convinced thai but fer the
u>e ef yeur preparation l should have been
entirely bald
]. ". BOWEN, proprietor of the Nc srthstr
loAial EHgatrer. SAYS AYERS HAIR ' IGOR
y 4 most excellent preparation for the hsir,
speak II il from my own experience. LIS
ase promotes the growth Of new hair, and
makes il glossy and soft. The NIGoR is also
a sure cure for dandruff- Not within my
knowledge has the preparation ever failed
% give entire satisfaction"
Mr. Angus FAIRBAfRS, leader of the
celebrated . Eairhairn Family y OF Scottish
Naeailst>. writes from BaSinR Mass, Feb 6,
1S>B = Ever since my hair began 70 give sill
very evidence of the change which feetlng
time prccureth, have used AYERS HAIR
NIG0R and so have been able TO maintain
an appearance OF youthfulness a matter of
considerable consequence to ministers. ora
tors actors. and in fact every one who lives
ia the ewes OF the public
MRS. .. \. PRESCOTT, writing from Is Elm
St. Ctdrftst0HrH. lfdSS, -4prsi II, iss2, says
:. Two years ago about two-thirds of my hair
came OF. II thlnned very rapidly, and was
tstst growing bald ON using AYERS HAIR
VIGoR the falling stopped and new growth
commenced, and in about "A month my head
was completely covered with short hair. Ii
has continued TO grow. and il now as good as
before il fell. l regularly used but one bottle
of the NIGoR, but now use it occasionally as
dressing
We have hundreds Of similar testimonials
10 the efficacy of AYERS HAIR VIGoR. II
needs but trial to convince the most skepti-
cal of its value.
PREPARED BY
Dr.. j. c. Aver & Co. Lowell Mass.
Sold by all Druggists.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
ENoLANo's GLOOMY OUTLOOK.
what . Semi.Political Journalist o
india Has 90 Say.
[Joe Nations London Lettsr.1

india Has 90 Say.
tJoe Hatton's London Lettsrl
A friend of mine has just returned
from India after a semi political and
journalistic residence there OF eighteen
months.
With large railway extension" he
says, India could even deliver wheat
on the Pacific coast cheaper than Amer
lea could. Thousands of tons of wheat
are destroyed as fuel for want of the
means of transit to the coast. But the
weakness of the Gladstone government is
freezing up the confidence of capital;
the idiotic policy of the Gladstone cab
met in its dealings with Egypt is encour-
aging all kinds of native political agita-
ton in India; the withdrawal of our
troops from positions won by Lord
Beaconsfield in Afghanistan is melting
Russia to fresh aggressive advances in
central Asia. Anglo-I Indians view all
this with real fear, and they hate the
very name of Gladstone.
But Is there any ground for believ-
ing that the ultimate aim of Russia in
her Asian advances is to attack Indiaf'
Il think so; and the Russian press con-
tinually forecasts the conquest of India.
English statesmen are blind and deaf in
this matter of the Russian advance on
India. Sir Henry Norman, as late as
1880, in his memorandum against the
retention of Candahar, said the proba
bility of our having to struggle for Herat
or to defend India from Candahar is so
remote that it is hardly worth consider
ing To-day Russia is practically mas
ter of Herat if she pleases, and she does
please"
And what is your verdict on the en-
tire situation."
That without a quick return to the
imperial policy of the great English
chief, Lord Palmerston, England viii
drift into war in the east of a magni-
tude that is awful to contemplate
say Russia is able to take Herat-we
have let her march ON without even
protest under Gladstone-and Skobeleff
in 1882, only two years ago, said; "A
body of European troops established at
Herat, and standing with its front on
the southeast, would draw upon it the
attention of the whole population of In
dia.' What thenl Meeting! What
next? War within and war without. 1
don't say We would be beaten, but what
a fight it would be, And, England be-
ing wholly occupied in the east, Prince
Bismarck, if he we're alive-if not some
strong German successor would recon
struct the map of Europe"
A gloomy outlook, oyerpessimistic let |
us hope. Nevertheless England is, with |
out doubt, at the present time on the |
brink of serious possibilities.
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
Getting Anxious.
wall Street News.l

An American now travelling in Ger
many writes home that some of our non
paying dividend railroads will have TO
employ a first-class liar to invent new
and satisfactory excuses, or the shares
viii come back. As one German holder
remarked TO him:
my frendt. l wait now about five
years for some difiidends on my stock
but | doan' shmell cent. Eafery time
it vhas cyclones, grasshoppers, poor
crops, or repairs, ind dot difiidend goes
py. If you doan' hat some peeSness for
your railroads, Why doan' you go on foot
NIT ox-teamsf'
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
An Editors Tribute.

Theron p. keator. editor Fit. Wayne,
Ind, Gazette, writes: For the past FIVE
years have always used Dr. King New
Discovery for coughs of most severe
character. as we'll as those of milder
type 1t never fails to effect speedy
cure. My friends to whom | have rec
commended it, speak of it in the same
high terms Having been cured by it
of every cough have had for five years,
consider 1.-THE it the only adal reliable and Ga sure
get free trial bottle. Large size, one
dollar. 2
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
A DfstinGutshfns Feature.
fPall Mall Gazette

There Is one feature which distin-
guishes the English from the continental
character. On the continent medical
men and the people generally believe
cholera TO be contagious and conse-
quently flee from it In England med
ical men. whatever their belief may be,
stay with their patients; neither do their
friends desert them L have no recol-
lection of any such popular stampede of
an entire frightened population at any
cholera outbreak in England as that
which has taken place at Toulon. and
which Is diSgraeefui
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
THE LIME-KiLN CLUB.
Brother Gardner Sees . Coming OPP
portunity for the Black Man
He Analyses the On-Repeased Asser-
sion That This Ii Gan Age OF
Wfsd om,,.SODe EX.
cePeiOns.
IDstroit Frss Prs..]

Detroit Free Pre1s.1
de Older ebenin' heard an orator
say dat dis was de aige Of wisdom, re-
marked Brother Gardner as the meeting
opened in perfect harmony. Ret US
analyze de assertion an see what it am
made Of
Has dar eber bin an aige when de rec
ords showed more commercial failuresf
Has dar eber bin an aige when states
men made more foolish speeches?
Has dar eber bin an aige when de people
displayed more reckless extravagance3
Fur cherry one man workin' on salary
who saves a dollar week twenty am
libin' beyand what dey arm.
Has dar cher bin an aige when murder.
robbery, embezzlement, an de odder crimes
ON de calendar war mo- heard Off 1t am
an aige in which you may doubt your
kindest naybur and best friend
Has dar eber been an aige in which
reckless speculashun, gross mismanage-
ment, corrupshun in high an low places.
conspiracy to defraud; queer decisions by
courts queer ackshuns by congressman
an gineral disregard of honor an honesty
war. so plain befo' de eyes Of de people2
DE aige OF wisdum-yuml
An dat same orator asserted dat de
next ginerashun would solve all scientific
problems, make great advances in inven-
shuns, control de elements an live on a
fur higher plane. Let us see
Take de present ginerashun an fur
ebery one perfeckiy healthy man, I'll fin
you nine who am ailin'. De majority
smoke, chew. drink. keep unreasonable
hours, an prepar' themselves fur de grave
ut 90 Consumption, liber complaint,
dyspepsia, kidney disease. neuralgia. rheu-
matism an scrofula am cherry day com
plants Drunkenness. giuttony, an i'm
morality no longer excite surprise. OATS
de seed FUR plantin' de mex ginerashun.
IN me one perfeckly healthy woman
an ~ nm you NIFTY who am ailin'. Take
poal si'ies OF de longest square in Detroit.
or any odder American city, an it won't
average TWO healthy women, no matter
now ciisiy de houses am built. Newral
gia, rheumatism weak backs, near-sight
edness, terrible headaches an cancers
tumors and a dozen odder ailments am
keepin' the doctahs busy. Paint powder
thin shoes, thin clothes. reckless exposure.
late hours an a total disregard of common
sense in eberyfing am de cause. Dars de
groun on which to sow de wheat
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
An Old Field Weed.

The old field mullen has been a
seemingly outcast for many years. but
now it has suddenly attracted the at
tention of the medical world, who now
recognize it to be the best lung medi-
cine yet discovered. when made into a
tea and combined with sweet gum, pre-
sents in Taylors Cherokee Remedy OF
Sweet Gum and Mullen pleasant and
effective cure for Group, Whooping-
cough, Colds and Consumption. Sold
by all druggists at p cents and 81 a
bottle. At wholesale and retail by A
A. Luken. Richmond. Ind. 6
Richmond daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1876-1904, 1884-08-20
Good Enough.
cleveland Herald. !

A rather stout gentleman of Irish ex-
traction was walking slowly through the
market one morning with basket on his
arm. On coming 10 a stall where a large
,wl was perched on a bar, he stopped and
after inspecting it for a few minutes with
4 troubled expression on his countenance
ais face lit up. and with a patronizing air
ne inquired: How much do yer want fur
yer broad faced gooser" With very
audible grin the proprietor said: That's
40 goose; it's an owl = "Oi don't care
now oIld it is; its good enough fur the
aDar,therS