The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-17
HOW TO RULE MEN.
A Lecture to Women by q Woman
Who has Studied Mankind.

A Lecture to Women by q Woman
Who has Studied Mankind.
| |
81 do not entertain much" said 8
lady who has been an acknowledged
leader of Chicago society for twenty
! five years, "but / receive great deal
do not believe in entertainment. al
though am mindful that there is very
much stress laid upon the socially Of
refreshments. People do not cali on
| you for eatables; they can buy their
lunch anywhere. But the society of a
cultivated lady or gentleman is not so
easy of access. People want mental
| food; they want to exchange their ideas
for some newer ones; they want to talk
and laugh, and TO make you talk and
laugh; they want the society of some
| sweet women of sense and vivacity,
who will skillfully draw them into con-
versation, and, for the time being, di-
rect their thoughts from the subjects
| that have engrossed them all day. The
woman who has to appeal to her table
| who thinks she must pamper the ap-
| petites of her guests in order to please
openly confesses that she is not ac-
customed to society, and not equal to
its demands.
Besides, look at the, way women
entertain nowadays! What does n
man care for ices. cake. frappe. and
bouillonp Truly their own observa-
tion should teach them better. / can
get more real social enjoyment andi
create moro conviviality with q dozen
sandwiches and two quarts of cider or
hot coffee than can with ten pounds
of angels food and three gallons of
| ice cream. have been in society for
! twenty-five years, and when have re-
ceived my most charming companies
all served was tea and waters. If
there were gentlemen present substi-
tuted coffee. am great admirer of
card parties and musicales with not
more than ten in the group. About 10
o'clock invite them into the dining
room and refresh them without cere-
mony. / have dish of salad, and
| some nice bread and butter, with a
pickle or an olive and cup of hot
coffee. Moro often / simply put big
| dishful of nice sandwiches in the CEN
! ter of the little table, and have a dozen
bottles of ale brought in right from the
| ice-box. That is what men like. and if
you mean to please them that is one of
the menus to use.
serve refreshments In the morning or
afternoon, for no well-bred person ex-
| poets it unless invited especially to
| spend the day. If you ask him to dine
with you, then serve an elegant din
| ner.
II think If women only knew how
sweet and lovely thev are and how
much they can do with men they would
pay more attention to their personal
cultivation than they do. Why, if a
woman only goes about it right she can
do anything with man, and make
him conform to her ideas in every par
ticular. She has tact skill, talent.
beauty, refinement, and, combine her
intuition with her fascinating powers
she can change his politics, reform his
religious ideas, alter the whole course
of his life. and shape his career to suit
herself. But she must not be fool, q
can tell you, nor must she forget for an,
instant the art and finessee by which.
she rules.
''Man is at best a brusque, selfish.
impulsive creature. full of conceits and
vagxrios, and anxious to rule and con-
troll. Ho has strength and he wants to
use 1t; he has creative faculties and
lives to execute. But whatever he
Ia he looks to woman for his pleasures.
and the one who can please him can
rule him and do with him what she will
A woman is young until she is 25, and
a man retains his youth ten years long
er, but after that there Is nothing to-
live for but home. Life has lost it's
zest, and there is no charm in the toys
and amusements of yesterday. You
must admit that a woman marries for
convenience, She wants home, pro-
lection, immunity from labor and tho
delights of companionship. Now, if a
man makes this home, if he stands be-
tween her and danger. if he contributes
the bcst interests of his life for her
maintenance, he certainly is entitled to
his reward. He wants his home beau
tilted, filled with friends and good
cheer; he wants to be petted. admired,
respected, encouraged and loved. He
wants to be king, in short.
''Oh. yes, you may say petting is all.
nonsense, but just let me tell you that
you arc mistaken, and if the husband
F.! cannot get that loving affection at
home he will get it some place else
| Caresses can be bought like every other
| luxury. .
"a wife must be sweetheart all her
| life. She must never get to old to be-
charming. She must cultivate sweet
temper and an affable manner, and her
only anxiety must be dread of offend-
| ing her husband. Another thing; sar-
casm won't work, it is an objectionable
offense In the home circle, and, no
matter how pertinent it may be, 3 wo-
man cannot afford ever TO say harsh
| word to the man she loves
Beautiful No woman need be
anything else. Ii sho has poor CONF
| plexion, there are powders and eosmet-
les that defy detection; she can have
| beautiful eyelashes and eyebrows; mo-
matter how poor and coarse her hair
| is, it can be remarkably well-kept and
solbecomingly arranged as to be adj
mired; the most irregular teeth can be
polished like so many pearls. and clean
| teeth and sweet breath are not so
common as to be despised; white hands
| and tapering, polished nail will atone
for very Ill shape of hand. What if
the feet are large, If they are we'll shod?
| If the figure is poor, 1t can be so clean,
SO healthy looking, and so delicatcly
! perfumed that your very presence wilR
tell you. clothes makes the refinement
that belongs to a lady or gentleman
Indeed. the raiment Is typical of much
that Is within. If nature has meagerly
bestowed her charms that is the very
reason why woman should have re-
course to art If she cannot shine in
| music. painting, or the sciences. she
can become q pleasant, If not bril-
liant, talker. She can read and OBJ
serve and be an authority on current
literature. and if she will but study the
why and wherefore of things and the
very best points in her friends, she can
make for herself q circle that will be
the very envy of her prettiest competi-
tor.
"For instance we will suppose she is
invited to theater or concert Let
her procure a programme In advance
and make study Of the play. the act-
ors, the music. or the artists. Let her
have some interesting matter to talk
about The gentleman goes to the ex-
pense Of the entertainment and has NJ
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