Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1884-11-08
WHOLE NO. 2, ,648.
n a rae Funny Nan. fAsHd..

. ueclnre!" exclaimed the Oys
Q tier ~ tlon't like IL ,,ae bit. l2verI
: Q KNOWS, or ought tsI know, tina
: ] have returned ia as0cisay after iny
, summer seclusiOn aud yet II you d
believe me. there are at least a scnrt
OF newspapers which haven't men.
toned inyinameP' a
: "Beg your PARDON" replied the
Ice Cream, coolly; "hut haven't
YOU yourself to blame for IL? Per.
sons who shut themselves out Ol
society four months every year
must expect 20 be forgotten. Now
IL understand and appreciate my
duty to myself "a well AZ to society,
and 4 keep In the current the year
round. Aud what Is the c0nse-
quence? Why, I'm invited every
where and am everywhere the uni.
versal favorite. But you"
"Oh, sha'n't want for friends, /"
Interrupted the oyster. "YOu'll
find me dangerous rival, dare
say, before winter Is over"
mot at ALL" replied the Ice
Cream, more frigidly than before.
"What do you know OF society {?
Save a few love-sick ones and the
old c0vies at the parish fair, your
friends are almost entirely confined
to the hal itues Of sample rooms.
For my part"
There Is no knowing TO what ex-
tremes the CONTROVERSY between
these two might not have gone, had
not the Chicago Girls Foot inter
posed, ~. .......s
al don't see what good there Is Ia
quarreling over such n thing rs pop
ularity," remarked the foot. "GOOd-
ness knows I've had enough OF IL;
and, let me tell you, I'n heartily
sick OF it,, sometimes wish that /
might never see my name mention
ed again as long M | hive When 4
have read my name twenty or thir-
~ times In a single day, feel so
small"
"fhat must be novel sensation.
indeed 20 cried the Plumber, witha
laugh. But speaking of popular-
Iiy." he continued, al tell You what
II is, mates, IL pays. Look at mel
Amt ! a living proof OF II S'' and
he jingied the loose money in his
trousers pocket. II don't. pay out
any stuff for advertising. ] get all
that Tor nothing. Everybody knows
me and everybody has TO employ
me-leastways, " they do once, I've
got them forever after. And, what's
mon, they don't dare to grnmbla
at .my bill they expect ipll be
papers have prepared them
tO get u big blll--and havenr the
heart to disappoint 'en. 'Tisn't In
me.n M g.- a.s,.... M
""Them's my sentiments," Chin
ed in The Ice Dealer, who sat sinOk-
ing la the corner. Aud that re-
minds me-" lie added, taking out
his note book and joiting something
down, "that must git them moose
paper fellers 10 say somelhlu' or
other about the scarcity of Ice on
count of the unreasonable hot
-
There was a pause I'm the c0nyer-
sation for "A minute or two- IL was
broken by the Banana Skin, who
somewhat irrelevunlly
'sBhsiness has been awiully dull
with me lately. That Teach fellow
has broken Into my trade ttasrlully.
My commissions haven't amounted
10 anything the last two Or three
and the doctors say II
ion't give them more work they'I
close the contract and go Into part
with the Toy Pistol. AiR't
afraid, though. They can't get
along without me, ana they know
t." tanaa aalgf N
"What's that % Wh0'saialking
about Ine?" exclaimed the Toy
Pistol. hearing his name nlentaOn-
N. hi'a TesraI aa aTr
III was only saying that you and
he doctors were getting quite
rIendly.n said tie banana Skin,
Iufte deferentially; for lie stood In
ehoIesOine awe Of the Toy Pistol,
vho was "A snappy fellow nIId very
Ipt ia, go off al halfcock.
Doctors be blowed W,exclnlmed
he Toy Pistol, cOntcnlptuOusly.
"A fellow has no use for doctors
yheir I've got through with lHiaI.
IN dead shot every lime, Lam.
No, he continued, In milder
train, ~ don't mind owning up
hat / make Il good thing out OF the
profession. My COM
thus far have been soine-
hing handsome, something hand
0me." And "A smile Of satisiac-
ion played around his muzzle.
"By the way" whispered The
Dade, "what cweaiure is that over
.hsre2 Awfully vulgaT-lOOking
peSOn, don't yer know. She don't
,efong to our set. Wonder who
ould have admitted lIer !"
'sOh, that" replied the StOvepipe,
rocking his elbow disdainiully, sis
hat upstart, Mother lIubDard, who
las forced her way into our csr,'le.
Z is Disgusting the airs these inter
ppers do put onl I've been before
he public these ten. years aud it's
Retty tough NJ I've gul to stand
lAide lust Ia sOOt her convenience.
N'Let's NOT recognIze her,f Said
he Nassar Girl iu a Inv ione no her
lest neIghbor, The Chewing Gum,
WHO had heen IN everyb0ly's mouth
or several scasOlls, and was a par
icnitr friend OF the NasSar Girl
'tRacognize herl The fright Pm
Iure shan't. replied the Chewing
jun. II cant bear her"
{ At This moment The Molber-in-
law eamIe in. Instantly every
Ongua was stiiled and every eye
lighted ulls with iAilOrsdion Of tie
oldest AID most honuTed member
If the sehct circle. The Molher-in
Law surveyed the listening group
or fnOnIFnt, aud tlien Mid
z"My dlssslr. IrirnshI, why slos you
waste your titne heHr ? - fle funny
men oi The lress are lOoking every
where for, yOn, AMI unless 80 20 10
hem, they will bctinabIe 10 write
my 0f tiIidr dear, ininIilable par.
graphs. Came ! Away nj once -
They separated, nItl IL ~ 70 be
uppuSe,l tllnl they Vent inintsii-
tely iO the NEWSPAPER Offices, fnff
he next day TREY were All inetrl
ioned by the funny insn aa aGarc-
ime. Oyster, IceGreais, Chicago
iirl's Foot, Plumber. Banana Skin,
leach, Toy Pistol Dusle, Steve
,ipe, Vassar Girl, Chewing Gum,
nd last, but by yno nIanner oImenna
east, Muther-iu-Eaw each an,laIl
Iad their rightiui and fhImehl0fial
lace, nnd their happiRess wuuld
ave been c0mpele, but flr tiie
'resence .Of, that upslart and illter-
Opef, the Mother Hubbard. Sho
lad come 90 stay.
..fI.r --s-----a---ss-e-~ ------4---+-
The best diet for laying hens isa
title OF about everything they like.
81 Al .f4a. ..st 4. Tlt...t * .r...-..f.......