Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-10-04
Saturday Smiles.

steel pCn-the penitentary.-The Judge.
turn-spit-the Oil-clOth. Something in the
wind-dust.
The Mormon church has an income of 60. OOO,-
COO year.-EX.
Ella Iarrabee, the burglar Is brunette: an
lumber Ella.-Ihiladelphia Star.
The bull is a generous fellow. He fire.
quently makes man take HORNY. 7. I'ele-
gram
Chicago hotel keeper recently had q man
arrested for stealing cake OF soap There isn't
much announcement for a man to be clean in
Chicago.-GrGphic
Duke Ace is the name of a recent foreign
arrival in this city. He must be very high
nobleman in his own country, as an Ace always
ranks King.-Grdplic.
child with no brains has been born in Ne
| braska. If he lives he will never be Of any use
In the world. But stay. He will make a model
juryman.-&. Paul Herald.
At Newport while the realistic sham fight was
in progress, it is said our tender-hearted Pres-
dent experienced good deal of sham-pain (spell
it any way you like)-Lite.
The equnoctial storm has evidently eloped,
but not with cOachman.-T Troy Times
There is no statute of limitations that can stop
a scandal.-Ne,o Orleans Picay,tne.
There are 100000 widows in Indiana A law
is evidently needed in that country to prevent
the use ofthe brOomstick.-ROcheSter Democrat
1--WE card of Cricket ON the HEARTH" said
AIRY after reading of che victory of Australia
! over the South OF England: but l should
| call the game o these Autralian coves cricket
! at the tother end O. the hearth. "-LOndon
| Punch.
"Wi you help me to press some leaves?" the
| maiden asked her lover. 'If you will fasten
them in your waist belt I'll see what can do. ~
| he answered and thus popular method of
/ pressing autumn leaves was invented -SO1ner-
ellie Journal.
magazine writer says that ''dress must
| always be an outward indication of the mind
within" Whence. therefore. the legs of
dudes pantalOons indicate that ne has a
very thin and contracted mind-Norrsstoao,
Herald.
Arnold Pye-Smith and wife, of England. are
stopping at Chicago hotel. The Chicago
people understand his middle name but Won
der why he doesn't spell it better.-Grapiic.
First small boy-Hello, Bill! Bin gitten yer
head singled? Second small boy, weeping
No; twant my head! First small boy bowls in
a derisve and haunting manner.-BroohlYn
Eagle.
graceess boy in Lebanon. Ind. strewed
red pepper on the floor of the church, where a
| protracted meeting was to be held, and those
who came TO pray remained to cough.-Phila0el-
ptia Record.
The New York Commercial Advertiser said:
1.-THE two officers had short consultation on
matters of a social nature" This is heightened
way OF saying they took hilddel phia
| american
sweet feeling Of gorgeous triumph per-
meates the sensitive mind as 1t draws the
blankets up tighter around the chin these morn
ings when awakened by a cry that has. lost it's
terrors Of Ice! ice!"-Pitsbarg Tel
The bills OF fare of many London hotels an
nounce that American homemade pies may be
had cheap. They are probably exported as
building material. The English tariff imposes
duties only on luxuries.-Phila. Record
Mr. Keey has demonstrated that the force he
has stored in his motor will shoot cannon bali
several hundred yards through two-inch
plank, and he Is confident 1t will also carry
passengers Perhaps 1t will; but some persons
may object to being shot from Philadelphia to
New York. no matter how much of q hurry they
may be in to get there.-Norristo,cn Herald