Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1884-06-18

Should learn to laugh who learns that he
must die?
Poems of PrOteuS.
--------.--------
THE BURGLAR ALARM.
Mr.. Fillisy came home in hot haste.
Important business called him out of
town within an hours time.
ooh, dear" sighed Mrs. Fillisy, as
she undertook to restore to order the
chaos of Mr.. Fillisy's search through
closets and bureaus for the "few
things he considered necessary to his
comfort .--"what shall | do? It's al
most dark, and nobody in the house but
the new girl, and | haven't time to 60
to mothers, and Pm so afraid. Josiah
knows it, too, Why didn't he leave me
pistol or something? never shot off
a pistol, and don't know what the
trigger is; but I'm sure | should feel
safer if | had one. How dreadful it
would he to be murdered here all alone,
and Josiah to come home and find me
wcltcring in my gore! Ugh.' and Mrs.
Fillisy enjoyed good SILVER over the
sanguinary picture she had conjured up.
But supper was announced at that
moment, and Mrs. Fil!isy had no time
to reyel in melancholy wonderings as to
how "Josiah would feel thcn,' and it
was not till after the two little ones
were snugly tucked in bed that she
had leisure to reflect upon her lonely
and unprotected state.
81 don't see why Josiah hasn't had
burglar alarms put in the house. 1t
would be- so much better. I'll talk tC
him when he comes home. | wonder
what they are like, anyway? Alarm
clocks, suppose, and that sort Of
thing. Now, why couldn't one invent
something simpler? wonder
and here Mrs. Fillisy's thoughts were
arrested by bright idea.
She was seated by the stove, and heI
glance fell upon the wire guard which
kept the weo toddlers from too close
contact with its glowing surface.
THE very thing" she exclaimed
"Pll invent an alarm myself. Talk
about women having no inventive
genius III have Josiah apply for q
patent the moment he comes home
Now, I'll just get it and try, and if any
burglar undertakes to get in here to-
night he'll just wish he hadn't, that's
all Tum, te, tum, te, tum," and Mrs
Fillsy started up in high glee.
After considerable pushing and haul
ing about in closet under the stairs
she brought to view large coil OF
barbed v re, in which Mr.. +. had The
previous summer invested for the pur
pose of surmounting his orchard fence
"Now isn't it lucky that Josiah didn'
use this? If he had, | couldn't have
shown him what a smart wife he has
and he wouldn't be able to refutc, will
success, the assertion that woman ha
a knowledge of mechanism. I'll SHOW
them Ouch! What mean stuff it il
to handle, But all the better for Mr.
Burglar. Now, where'll l putt first ?
Mrs, Fillisy pondcred deeply, with al
the gravity worthy of great inventor
and at last decided that as the hiret
girl hal gone to bed and there was n,
one but herself about, she would built
such wall of barbed wire at the foo
of the stairs as no burglar could posi-
bly, surmount. But when she hat
wound it around the newel-post, will
many "Ah's" and "Oh's," she foun'
that the wire wouldn't fasten itself t.
the wall, and as for this brave inven
tors making a long and loncsom
Journey into the woOdsEed for hamme
and nails-no, indeed, she wouldn'l
She'd show Josiah that woman
mind could triumph over matter.
"NO man would think Of this" sh
said to herself, as she proceeded to fas
ten the wire in and out Of the claw
feet that held the stair-rols in position
Dear me, it's slow work; but then a
problems are slow of solution, and Mr..
F, you mustn't be too smart an ir
yentor. | wonder what folk'll do VIII
haven't got star-rods? Get some,
suppose; or may be, now, when Josia
comes home he can think of sOmethin
to hold the wire down, any wa,
Ouch, Just see my finger bleed! llo
rid stuff. wonder how Mr.. Burgla
will like that
And Mrs. Fillisy surveyed wit
honest pride the work of her fertil
brain, and nimble. but wounded finger
She had contriyed, by dint of twis
ing and turning the barbed wire
every shape and direction, to create
perfect battery of needle points on I'll
lower step.
"You couldn't put your finger dow
without getting pricked," she solil
ouized as she attacked the next ste
"Now you see person might have
carpet of this, that she could sprcG
down before windows and doors, AMI
R burglar were to step real hard on
,o'd surely have to scream, and th
IN uld wake one. and then while