Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1884-01-10
HERE AND THERE


given her By hAr angry mother--and
Mary wept.- Wilmaagton Star.
"Ths varnish on my new ooAt.of-arms
will take long time to dry, and l sm
real glad 1t ia not fly ms."-1snny'on.
"Now that Mr.. Comstook has broken
out In new place, Isuppose l will have
to 90 on ust."-lVenus de Milo. J.
Life.
A lady and gentleman accidentally
touched each others feet under the table.
"Seorst telegraphy," said he. "Com-
munloD Of soles," said she.- Worcester
Spy.
Feminine news atherers are not sue
CESS. One tried 1t In a country town, and
the people stopped taking the paper be-
cause she told them all the news before
1t came out.-N. Y. Nesos.
al feel that have considerably added
to my spiri;uells appearance and actions
on the night Of Mr.. Arnold's lecture.
know how to do these little things when
a great occasion arises. "-Chandler.
In Sweden, at one time, IS gallons of
brandy fell annually to the share of each
| inhabitsnt. The custom was disoon-
tinued many years ago, hence American
immigration to Sweden Is unknown
Norr. Herald.
Maker of musical Instruments, cheer
| fully rubbing his hands: "Thsrs, thank
| goodness, the bass fiddle ia finished at
last" After a pause Zach Himmel, If
| l haven't gone and left the glue pot
inside l''-Rome Sentinel.
| A subscriber writes to us to know the
best way to recover lost hair. Unhesi-
tatingly we answsr-advertise, and we
should presume to offer suggestion that
| subscriber use few more hair pins in
the future.-Pmia. Bulletin.
The "a O'Clock scheme is going to be q
perfect bonanza for the man who comes
home before daylight and tries to unlock
the front door with doughnnt. His
wife won't be able to tell whether II IL
tomorrow or the day before yesterday. -
Burlington Free Ress.
~ understood You to say that youi
charge for services would be light" com
PHI aimed the client when his lawyer
handed him a tremendous bill. 81 bs
lieve l said my fee would be nominal, y
was the reply "but"-"o see ~ inter
rupted the client. phenomenal" -Er
Some men are always ready to offer
remedy for everything. The other day
We remarked to one OF these animated
apothecsry shops can idea strcck uf
| yeaterday''--and before we could fuisl
he advised us: Grub the affected par.
with arnica. IN. Y. Graphic.
When winter breeze
Denudes the trees
| And nature settles down to freeze;
When round the door
The wild winds roar
And cold comes through the O. ackea old hooI
, Our friends forget to shut the door.
on City Blizzard
'tLook heTu," said roadmasser to 81
Irishman, why don't you put on a cleal
shirt ?" because, yer honor, OF haven
wan in me chist." well, why haven
you one In your ches. 2" "Becsuse q
haven't q ohist. Git me- tine chist, you
: honor, an Oi'll hunt srou-d fur clea
shirt to put in 1t "-Arkaasaw TRAILER
4 A member of the New York Phonst!
!, Club writes to this able and infuenti,
: paper, asking us to "drop the final ne
!, words so ending, aud spell dialog, epilol
SO. Well, we kick. We are willing
a drop the ne to limited extent, but whe
the New York language club asks us
a spell glue, 81, We protest. Buriingtt
:, HaSokeye.
It what is a complimentary vote
asked Gilhooly OF Gus De Smith. Gu
), who has several times experienced Il
,- Joy of receiving such testimonial of Il
h esteem in which he is held by his fello
citizens, cleared his throat and replied
u ga complimentary vote is like kissing
- girl through a telephone; it is the shade
n without the substance. "--Ieras Sitting
I'd We sat beside the glowing fire,
ID The hour was growing late,
N turned and to my hearts desire
y" Said How you fascinate.'
al And then she said, with smile benign
~ with hattery have done /;
III cannot fascinate-oT-nine--
i'd But can tasten one"
In -Eudnspille .irga,
a. "Alsernon,I have stitch in my side
I'd ~ am not surprised, my dear. v
al were hemmed in by the crowd at the par
r. last night" mo; think | got it VIII
r bastipg the turkey" You tuck I
re much pains over it." "Algernon, W
he will you persist in ruffling my temper
this way 20 Merely biased notion
IN yours and turbslow my intentions
ed PHILADELPHIA Call.
lis Overheard in book gtore-F
; a mother "oh, my, here is Du Maurie
so pictures from Punch. By the way,
of Msurier is dead, isn't he ?" Dude-i
or, son "There mas all the time &
re- ting mixed, don't you know. She "
insist that Du Maurier's dead ,you know
he Fair mother: "Well, l may be mstak,
to of course but it's either he or his 1
that died, anyway ,I'vs forgotten which
Exchange.
'.I've got pointer ~ he gasped, as
OF rushed into an office. "The Grelt Mo,
OF lie over on Wall street." what Of ii
ID "Why he must have gone down to
la' up his stocks. Egad I'llrisk thousa
'n' on IT," Next day the same individ
~, 10 entered the same office In lmpy o
liz dition, and in husky, fsr-awsy W
zen he announced /: SCOT another pointer
'iu swell =" "The Great Mogul came do
Oh to pull out the pegs p Wall Street Ne
80 An illustration OF the ridiculous
,as annoying way in which 8 church ol
Nv will sometimes run together the wo
a. of hymn, Is afforded by the remarl
- a small boy in one OF ths front pews
IA. large and (alss y fashionable ohurct
81 Boston. 1.-The Gonseoratsd cross
~. bear. had Just been sang, aid In
oil | nUIueuthiy uukel " MIN lullUWtu tine
H. picked youth turned to his father
ars asked, in al earnest whisper, "S
yas pa, where do they keep the consecra
iar Cross eyed bear f''-Modsrn Age.
sill Baokps, the minstrel, had an enorm
der mouth. 0ne summer he and his tel
md minstrel, Birch parted, Birch 10 20 d
her ing aud Baekus to go to Chicago. w
,rt. Birch ons day had i5hed for q short ii
en-. there came tremendous yshk at
hook. Using all his might he pulled to
surface a fish Of surprising proportit
and with the largest mouth he had e
seen in any membe Of the finny tr
Dol, "Great gollywhoppus, Bsckus," cried
to burnt cork angler in amszement, d.
his ping his tnokle aud springing to his I
100 "I thought you were in Chicago ~
de 81 like Shakespsare's plays v
OK MUCH" said Dobyu, the other day. GO
lau sceDe where Brutus throws the lsdde
ar Diogenes and then climbs up and Ia
oao to him about the smells of Bridgeport
gus Just immense. Aud another that alw
II struck me ia where Richard picks up
ca skull OF Cardinal Wolsey aud turn
10 Hannibal Hamlin, the conqueror OF I,
Ano saying, See where those college stud,
~ have been monkeying again
'iu where old skyreoket went to
a o.; butchers shop after pound oil meat
iiu refused TO pay for it and got put in
w, cslsboose is good. You bet Shakesp,
us ia the poet for me "--Cdri Pref.
..iy Weekly. .....##"
for The sporting editor who has to desc