Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-05-31
WHOLE No. 1886.
PUNaENT PARAGRAPHS.

a Michigan minister who was about to
ne married asked the official 70 whom he
| applied for 4 license if he didn't make o
| discount to She trade
How & women always does up ncws-
paper she sends to q friend so that il looks
iiise wel-Stused pilluS, is something that
i'o nlSr is woman enough to understand
Two brothers 81 Connecticut married at
dittsTcat times two sisters, and tie frs; son
of each couple bon in different wears, was
born on the 29th o< Februmy Hartford
Post
A Toroeto man VISITED until Ire was So
years old hcsore he gos rnarfied He waited
Until he was sure that it he didn't like it
Post
4 Frenchuan claims 20 have invented
a paper which y iucombustible l.ct some
of oar eSsayists get hold OF il and they
will make Il dry enough 10 burn-EBoston
Transcript
a society called the Sons of Reyolr,-
ton has been organized in New York. II
is a more high toned name than organ
grinders but we infer that the object is the
same NorriStown Herald.
A Lafayette lady-a model wife and
mother-5roile her husband OF the saloon
habit by walking up beside him and call
ing for beer a CiucinHati woman tried
that but her husband oHly replied Now
you're acting sensible, he,c, John, two
Schoonefs.'
A New York concern mu',es a prof; Of a
million doll9r; a year countcgteiting the
Labels used on foreign chanpagne bottles.
1t IS ~ thus way thar pure American wines
made in 81 Louis emf California .caCh the
stonachS that compose Boston and New
York society Buffalo Express
4 gentleman was cnngIatulating friend
the other dav on his recent marriage
Yes" said the latter, thanking him for
his pleasant words, if YOU marry and get
the right one there is nothing ike it, and if
YOU don't get the right one | suppose there
is nothing like it. II New England Farmer
" If YOU don't marry ms" he exclaimed,
IL take myself out OF this hated world
and III haunt YOU as long aS you live"
sad she " Ii will he more respectable than
your present haunts Please stand a little
farther OF | never could bear the smell
of alcohol sosoon after tea -[Boston Tran
script.
The Chattanooga Tipss says that that
city is now really but ~ years old The
war left 1t a wreck IN 1867 il had not
single wholesale house Iron mills and
furnaces began in 1871 In fS72 the popu-
iaton was 6,000, now 2t000 manufaetur-
ing capital III 1850, S2,7S9,000; III 1884,
s. 000,000
Philadelphia hotel keepers seem to be
about rs mean as they make en- An ex-
change says that they paste the following
notice over their gas Jets: "The relatives
and friends of guests who blow out the gas
will have to pay for the amount of gas
wasted before the body will be delivered"
tDctroit Post
Nearly fifty years ago woman named
Lois Lyman, of Cabot. Vermont. began 10
piait the combings of her hair into rope.
It was half an inch thick and of various
shades, the hair having changed very ma
teraliy during the half century, When
she died Il few days asothc rope was nearly
100 feet long.
Here is a fair sample of the small boys
diary as given by an exchange Got up
and washed me-had hreakfast-siid down
hill-had dinner-Slid down hill-had u
fight with Willie .inith-we won't speak
any mOre-wore a hole i'll the toe of my
new boot steering my sled-cat supper-pa
spanked me about The boot-went to bed
bully good day
On the occasion of Baker Pashas battle
at El 1'eb an English officer placed revol-
yer to the head of an Egyptian and com
manded him to advance. The Egyptian,
quietly putting aside the weapon said, in
an astonished tone. / advance" adding
proudly, "no; l am an Egyptian and he
took to his heels
:" Hot mince- pics, cried boy on the
streets of Boston one cold winter morning
4 teamster Just in from the country, hear
ing the appetizing sound, bought pie but
on setting his teeth into it he found it cold
as ice. Boy, what do you mean by call
ing these hot minee-pies?" Why, don't
you know? That's the name of them"
[iarper's Bazar.