The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1884-12-19
Study of Husbands,

We hear much about the art of win.
ming a husband. Let us take a step
further and make a study of keeping a
husband. If he Is worth winning he
is worth keeping. This is wicked
world, and man is dreadfully mortal
Let us take him just as he is, not as he
ought to be In the first place he is
very weak. The wife must spend the
first two years in discovering these
weaknesses, count them on her fingers,
and learn them by heart The fingers
of both hands will not be too many.
Then let her study up these weakness
es. with a mesh for each one, and the
secret is hers. Is he fond of good
dinner? Let her tighten the mesh
around him with fragrant coffee, light
bread, aud good things generally, and
reach his heart through his stomach.
Is he fond of flattery about his looks !
Let her study the dictionary for sweet,
words if her supply gives out. Does
he like to hear her talk about his bril-
liant intellect? Let her pour over the
encyclopedia to give variety to the
depth of her admiration. FIattery is n
good thing, to study up at all hazards,
in all its delicate shades, but it must be
skilfully done. The harpy who may
try to coax him away will not do it ab.
surdly l. he fond of beauty? Here's
the rub-let her ne bright and tidy /;
that's half the victory. Next, let her
bang her hair metaphorically and keep
up With the times. a husband who
sees his wife look like other people is
not going to consider her "broken
down Though it is a common sneer
that a woman has admitted that her
sex considers more, in marrying, the
tastes of her friends than her own, yet
it must be considered ludicrous that a
man looks at his wife with the same
eyes that other people do. Is he fond
of literary matters? Listen to him
with wide open eyes when he talks OF
them. A man doesn't so much care
for literary wife if only she will be
literary enough to appreciate him. If
she have literary indications, keep
them to herself.
Men love to be big and great to
their wives. That's the reason why a
helpless little woman can marry three
times to a sensible, se,f-reliant woman's
none Cultivate happiness. Is ne Gu
rious Oh, then you have a treasure ;
you can always keep him if you have a
secret and keep it carefully. Is he
Jealous? Then, woman, this is not ior
you; cease torturlng that fretted heart
which wants you for its own, and
teacll him confidence. Is he ugly in
temper and fault-finding? Give him a
dose of his own medicine skillfully
! Is he deceitful? Pity him for his
weakness tleat him as one who is
born with physical defect, but put
your wits to work-t is a bad case. 1t
is well not to be too tame. Men dc
not waste their powder and shot on
hens and barnyard fowls; they like
the pleasure of pursuing wild game
quail and grouse ard deer "A quail is
a good model for n wife-neat and
trim, with a pretty swft-way about
and Just little capricious. Never LET
yourself become an old story be just
a little uncertain. Another importan,
fact is, don't be too good it hurts hi:
feelings and becomes monotonous
Cultivate a pleasant voice, so that thi,
very mortal man may have his con
science prick bin when he is in jeop
ardy; its pleasant ring will always
haunt him much mere than would 6
shrill one. 1t is hard to do all, besides
taking care of the babies and looking
after vexatious household cares, anC
smiling when he comes home, but i
seems necessary. "To be born wo
man is to be born martyr" says +
husband who for ten years had watch
ed in amazement his wife treading thu
wine press of her existence, 1t is
pltiful sight to some men. But if tn
wife does not make study of thos
things the harpy will, to steal ava,
the honor from his silver hairs when h
, is full of years and the father of son
and daughters. At the same time
good wife, keep from trying any o
these things on any mortal man bu
your own. These rules are onl
; evolved in order to "keep husband.
i The poor, weak creature would rathe
; 6e good than had, and it is woman
1 duty to hold MIN by every means i
= her power.