davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
SERIAL SHIRT FRONTS.
Invention by q Nan Who Knows
the Weakness OF Mankind.
Philadelphia Record. ]

philadelphia Record.
"H anybody thinks the inventive genius OF
the American people is on the wane he's
hopelessly left, that's ALL" remarked one Of
the leading patent lawyers of Philadelphia,
as he sat Y tn his feet ON the Office table and
smoked patent Connecticut cigar. James,"
he continued, addressing the Office boy,
@bring me that package that came from
Washington the other day"
The lad produced a large paper parcel,
from which the lawyer took what was TO all
appearances an ordinary colored shirt being
apparently of white linen, with small design
in the form of a horseshoe and jockey cap
stamped all over the bosom and cuffs.
"I have just taken out patent on this for
a man in Lackawanna county, who calls it
the Excelsior patent paper shirt and
his thumb nail at the bottom of
the shirt bosom and proceeded to tear off
layer of the paper of which the shirt was
made. He then tore of another layer, and
then another and an6ther, until six separate
sheets in the shape of the bosom lay on the
table, and he still held what looked like the
original shirt in his hand "You see it's a
really remarkable idea Here is this Shirt
made Of very tough paper, that won't tear
without good deal of pressure, and the
bosom is made up of seven layers, one for
each day IN the week, If man chooses to be
lavish with his linen, or, if he likes to be an
out-and-ont swell, he can change half adozen
times day. Now, on this sample all the
fronts are the same, but they win be made 10
all sorts Of styles, so that fellow can wear
this horseshoe figure il he wants to go to
Coney island to the races, or crossed base
ball design If he Is going o'lt to see the Phila-
delphias play the Athletics, or a neat little
design in dots or bars, OF something Of that
sort, If he is going Off with his girl to At
lantic City or the matinee. That'n be all
fixed by giving card with each shirt telling
the pattern on each of the seven fronts which
win be numbered from one to seven. Enough
collars and cuffs win go with each shirt for
the seven fronts, and the whole outfit viii be
sold for the small sum Of so cents for the as
sorted patterns and 35 cents for all the white.
Why. it's the biggest thing that has been
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
Made a Fool of Himself

II am 58 years old, and this is the first time
ever made a fool of myself"
So spoke Farmer John Dayton, as he stool
the bar of justice, and his look and man
er went 20 prove that he meant what he
aid.
Seems rather queer that an intelIigen
lan of your age should get in this fix" re-
lied the court.
1T does, and no mistake, and 1 can't ac-
rount for it. 1 had finished my trading anG.
vas ready to go home when chap wanted
oseu me dog. In the course of half an
.tour ] drank two glasses of beer, and the
st L remember felt awful good and was
5 epping high and waving my hat"
'k.re you used to beer?"
well. drink three or four glasses a
NJ nth"
1T was the two glasses so close together
mt do it again"
If do you may have me hung"
Il shall suspend sentence in your case, but
GU must take this as a warning"
won't II It's a warning that stands out
like circus bill on a country blacksmith
shop, and shan't forget I'll Pve lost about
sl4 in cash, been locked up all night, split
suit OF clothes and made a fool of myself, and
you needn't expect to see me again. Good
bye, 'Squar', and if you ever come
out our way I'd like to have you stop!"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
VOL. XVI1I.--NO. So.


reruv1an NIL are smooth ana CLASSY. Ir Is
said ia the old chronicles and traditions that
the Inca youth, long years ago, amused
themselves by coursing, or sliding, through
these polished grooves on festival days and
holy-days, and this custom is still practiceds
by the modern youth of Cuzco.
There is one advantage, and it is a great
one, too, which these boys possess over the
northern boys, who live in the land of lee
and snow, and that is it is not necessary for
them to toll up long and slippery hill,
dragging after them their heavy sleds, which
grow heavier with every step they take, so
that the longer they ride the harder work it
is to get back to the starting place The
Cuzco boy sits down at the top of the rock
in one of the groves, and, with a slight start
away he goes with all the speed imaginable,
until he reaches the bottom, landing in
soft bed of earth; then he picks himself up,
runs around to an easy place of ascent, and is
Up again in minute to repeat his ride.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
struck since the telephone was patented

struck since the telephone was patented
"But what about the novelette, part of the
scheme?"
@Ah, / had forgotten to show you; see
this" and the lawyer handed over ons of the
torn off shirt fronts, on the back of which
was printed in fine type one chapter of a
story entitled: @The Phantom Jockey; a Ro-
nance of Sheepshead Bay" "There you are,
chapter I, of a sporting novelette,, and it's
continued and finished on the other six
fronts. OF course, sometimes you will run
across the same yarn twice on two shirts,
but some thousands of different stories will
be printed, and the lots made up so as to
give each city and town as few duplicates as
possible. Anyhow, the card will tell you
what story is on the shirt, and you can be
careful not to buy the same twice. Some men
will get so interested in the story when they
rip off Mondays front that they will teag
the whole week off, so as to learn the hero'q
fate, but that will be all the better, and 10,
indeed, part of the scheme in printing
oil
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
A Rather Cautious Wife.


Some years ago a retail dealer in t"e in
terror of the state, who took butter, eggs,
and cheese in exchange for dry goods and
groceries, found himself overstocked with
the former articles, and was worrying about
prospective loss when buyer from the
city called around and had talk with him.
As result the grocer rushed into the house
at noon and shouted to his wife:
"Hanner, what dye think? Theirs feller
here from York who'll take my 200 dozen
eggs"
"No"
"And them seventeen cheeses.
"Is 1t possible"
eAnd them 400 pounds of butter"
"You don't sayP
"Yes, going to take 'em all and pay cash
down.
"Well, well But. Henry, you look out.
know they must eat sich things in New York,
but he's buyin' huff to feed half of America
for a week, and don't you trust him for any
part and take your chances On his finding a
MARKET
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
ChantIcleer in Classic Greece.
TBoston Budget. I

lBOSCOn buQgeGI
Cock fights were represented by the Greeks
on coins and cut stones. Mr.. Pegge caused
engravings to be made of two gems in the
collection of Sir William Hamilton, on one
of which is seen a cock in the humble atti-
tude Of defeat, with its head hanging down,
and another in the attitude of victory, with
an ear of corn in its bill as the object of con-
test. On the other stone two cocks are fight
ing, while mouse carries away the ear of
corn, for the possession of which they had
quarFeled. Two cocks in the attitude of
fighting are represented also on lamp found
in Herculaneum.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

The ward in Brooklyn in which
the Rev. Henry Ward Beecher re-
sides usually gives 600 Republican
majority, but it reversed matters
Tuesday, New. 4, and went for
Cleveland by $50 majority. Oneida
county, in which ex-senator Conk-
ling resides, also wiped out Gar
fields majority of ,946 and went
for Cleveland by SO majority. In
the latter case the stalwarts got
heavy work against their half breed
brethren.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
What He Could Take.
ATLANTA constitutional

Darling" he whispered, as the clock
sadly struck 2, and he still sat there trying
to impress her with his love, "there is one
thing I so much desire. Would you let me
take something that would be eternally
sweet to my remembrance"
Il don't know" she coyly replied, making
a move as if to fall on a 3O-cent shirt-front,
"but there in one thing you could take that
will fill my happy cup to overfowing."
"What is it, loved one?" ready to catch her;
but only a cold answer came, that sounded
like the bottom of coal-box in December.
"You might take your leave"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

A terrible collision between two
freight trains occurred on the Gin
cinnati Southern railroad, near
Tatesville on the 18th. Both en-
gines and large number of cars
we're wrecked. 1t is said that sew
eral persons we're badly injured, if
not Killed. The cause oil the collis
ion cannot be learned.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
Dying I'm Disgust.

New York Cor. Chicago Journal
Poor Camille was dying for 10 cents on the
stage Of a Bowery theatre. She was dis
pcsed to be conscientious about it, notwith-
standing the dime low price of admission.
Nei ther gasp nor moan did she mean to omit
rom the role. She had tottered across the
room to tho mirror and yelled at her emacia
ted reflection. in strict imitation Of Clara
Morris: and she had Just fallen exhausted
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

Washington Monument has reach
ed a greater height than that of any
structure in the world, being $40
feet 10 inches above the fser Of the
monument. The next highest struc-
ture is the spire of the Cologne Ca
thedrsl, which tewers 515 feet above
the flOer of the building. 1t is esti-
mated It will take but twenty-five
working days to complete the mon
ument; so there is no doubt of its
being finished in time for dedication
the 22d Of February.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

MeSsrs. Blaine, Cleveland and
Hendricks were all school tevchers
in their early days. Mr.. Arthur
was a school teacher, and Sc was
Mr.. Garfield. Both Blaine and
Cleveland were at enc time teach
ers of tho blind.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

Ex-Congressman George w. Jones
died at Fayetteville, Tenn, the 18th
instant, after a brief illness. Gel.
Jones was enc of the most incorrupt-
ible mon of ante-bellum days, and
served his people long and faithful
" in the National Legislature. He
was about so years of age at the
time of his death, and had been in
bad health for several msnths.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

Atthe recent session of the Nerth-
west Texas Conference of the III. Il.
Church South, John ID. Crockett,
grandson of the hero of the Alamo,
was among the travelling preachers
elected to dsacon's orders.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
BennetI,s Quick Trip.

American Queen.
Mr.. James Gordon Bennett has just done
thing which probably no man ever did be-
fore. He crossed the continent by railroad
from New York to San Francisco and re-
turned the entire journey occupying only
thirteen days. He went all the way in a
special car, with a small party of friends bis
object being ty consult with ]. w. Mackay.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

A gentleman from Wise county
tells us of a terrible affiiction that
has befalleH the people of that coun-
ty. Two hundred and fifty people
have died in q msnth, and often the
dead has to lie three days without
burial The cause of death is kind
OF cholera, brought on by drinking
the water rendered poisonous by
drought, the minerals, &c. Very
few recover when once taken, and
and nearly all die in tho course of a
few hours.-Abingdon Standard.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
Che Modern ssCrammins'' system.
buffalo CommerciaL1

IDUIIdIO OOnIIII6ICIdI-I
"A reader" contributes the following: The
small boy of the family was invited to
amuse baby after tea one night, but objected
on the ground that he had some writing to
do for school. "What have you to write!"
was asked. "Wen, I've got to write his
tory of the United States-I think it Is the
United States-or the world, or something;
but it won't take long; I'll be through in
twenty minutes"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

The city of Columbus, in Ohio
last year, received about fifty thou
sand dollars in taxes under the
"Scott liquor" law, all of which will
have to be paid back under the re-
cent decision of the Supreme Court
OF that State, declaring the law to
be unconstitutional. The same will
be the effect in all the cities aud
counties of the State. The decision
is a victory Of the rum pewer.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
THE MORRISTOWN GAZETTE.
The Morristown Gazette.
TERMs OF THE GAZETTE

RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION. - One
year (52 issues) $1.50; SIR msnths, 20 cts
three months, 40 cents.
RATES or AD DVERTISING.- One inch
first insertion, 81, each Subsequent fnSeT-
ton, so cents; displayed advertisements
tcil be charged according to the space Oeeu-
pied at d60De rates.
TO REG ULAR ADVERTISERS Gee Of
fer superior Inducements, both as TO rate
efehdrges and manner Of displaying their
fdU0Ts.
OOHHUNICA TTONS must be Gcc0mPdn
ied by the true name and address Of the
tcTiter in order to recei1e attention.
OBITUARY NOTICES, Tributes Of Re
spect and Cards Of Thanks charged for
as regular advertisements.
ALI Bills for ddrertising are due tolten
contracted aud payable On demand.
NOTICES IN LOCAL COL UANS-10
cents per Line for first insertion and Scents
per line for each additional insertiOn.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

Chairman German, of the Dems-
cratic National Committee, says that
William III. Vanderbilt made no
contribution to the National Demo
cratic campaign fund.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

An Ingenious Frenchman has applied a
cushion OF red india-rubher to the bottom OF
q series OF household objects in eerthenware,
porcelain. glass, etc, so that they can bs in
clined at an angle Of from As to 90 degrees
without falling over. Ocean steamers may
profit from the use Of suoh an invention as
this
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
THE BIBLE
THE WORK THAT HAS. BEEN DONE IN
DISSEMINATING THE PAST TWO
YEARS.

Since the American Bible Society
entered upon the general supply of
the United States and Territories
with the Scriptures two years age,
55S counties have been completely
canvasses by colporteurs Of the So
ciety, AGA counties have been par
italy canvassed' and 564 counties
still remain to be supplied by col
porteurs where the auxiliary Bible
societies cannot undertake the work.
A consider able part Of the work
accomplished has been in the Ter
ritories, where the canvass was very
expensive. Utah, Mentana, Idaho
and Wyoming are reported as com
pletely canvassed, and Colorado is
also nearly completed. The more
thickly settled portions Of Nevada
will be esnvasEed by n celporteur
who is working in that new State
with great success. The pastors
and missionaries will supply the
more sparsely settled portions of
that field. The States and Terri
tories which are yet to be canvass
ed by colporteurs are probably more
than half completed.
1t seems probable that besides
the books now in the hands of col
porteurs, valued at $4,000, and
100000 will be required 10 COM
plete the canvass. The following
summary is presented:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

Books sent from
hibla house to
coipOrteurs 77sIsI 9.I1 rs
Sold by colpor-
teurs -. 529, ,476 s2O7, ,2O5 so
Donated by col
pOrteurs -. 142.OsT sI,sSs o. $242, asO o2
CASH ACCOUNT.
sAles by eolpor.eurs S207, ,2s5 so
individual donations and f.s
church collections .- %, ,494 65- $227, ,790 IS
Salaries and expenses Of colporteurs,
including freight ON books SIS, sos 40
Net returns from sales and collections ete,2sI 90
LABOR PERFORMED.
Families visited. !. .2s4, gas; found destitute,
III, $50; supplied, l4l SIS.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

away, and has not referred to the
subject since.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

they We're -overrulod By the Nation
nj committee.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

the effect that weddlng cake cunIor j
be sent through the mail.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

eeive prompt attention All work warranted
OctI5-lv
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26
MAKE HENS lay

. e.. La q: 4 e: sss.' fs.Sss sss.Ss Ss Co. 9 sG. ,'i S
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-11-26

An En9iiBh Veterinary SnrEnon and Chemist.
roA wnrvnur IN thla cuuntry. s4y1 tat uloei
e 80 Harns and Caflls fowders aeld hara
CnnAEnm puw9Hru nrW mosolnfHly pare and
ln.uGlaelF r1inaoia- AorhiaG O. earth wll Z.
Ct - y nant BOD 6cl1 aFerywhEEe, o. BeEl b
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
Father is Getting Well.

"My daughters say:
''How much better father is since he
used Hop Bitters."
ne Is gs!ting' well 2fter his long sui.
iering from disease declared incurable."
"And We are so glad that he used your
Biiters."
& LAZY of Utica, N. Y.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31

No freight will be received after .. m.
s. f. Fenton, ". W. RITTER,
Gen Fr't. and Pass. Ag't. Supt.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
No, l First Floor.


Can ba consulted daily from o'cloc k
to IL O'Clock am. and from 2 20 6
o'clock pm. Sundays from 10 I'm. to
pm. He mas had twenty-five years ex-
perienee in the special treatment Of all
Veneresl, Sexual and Chronic Diseases,
and guarantees to. cure all urinary
Diseases, Syphilitic or Mercuria- AZ
feetions Of the Throat, Skin
or Bones, NERVOUS DEBILITY
Ip1potency and Lost Manhood, exhausted
Vitality, Seminal Weakness, Spermator.
rhoea, Paralysis, and ell the terrible effects
Of Self Abuse, youthful follies and ex
eesses in msiurer years, Nocturnal Ennis
sion, the effects of which are various,
maddening end destructive TO both body
and mind. and unless cured will; err
inmate fatally. The presence of the
disease causes continual consciousness
Of slow and gradual decsy OF all the
power Of body and mind with loss of
manly power and vigor, defective mem
Org, heart affections, loss OF sight, noises
in the hesd and ears, confusion OF ideas,
aversion to society, excessive prostration,
trembling OF the hands and limbo, con-
sumption, marasmus and ultimate de.
raneement OF the mind. The will Bower
becomes so weak that the person seems
to lose control of himself and cannot
look one square in the face. It also causes
Dyspepsia and Indigestior with Heart
and Kidney Disease.
Tepew0rm Expelled In "a
Hours.
PILES
Treated and Cured SuccessfullyTa
Consultation at the Office ia FREE and
invited. Thorough examination and ad-
vice, including analysis Of urine, So:
Come at once-do Eot put 1t cf All
strictly confidential.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
BOARD AND LODGING.

Two young men or two young ladies'
csn have board and lodging at l6l Fiftn
West Street, s., on street car line oee
block north Of D. & Il: u. Depot oSls
Tska Civ. Terms moderate.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
SrrRAYED.

,,,t red Cow, medium sizo, left
a di I.ak .'I and portion of tail gone,
horn d ofT r. r on right shoulder. address
bra nosa, y TO Box 1.016 city, or to L. >;
I nIDnan. al q. B. Ciswson's hide snd
WOOL depot,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
DENTIST

J.B. Key.or, lately connected with
Or. / r, Van Aukin. has removed 70
The HERALD New Building, where ne Is
prepared to do all kinds Of Dental WORK.
Satisfaction guaranteed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
z. R CLUTE GENERAL
TRANSFER.

Agent to and from ell depots; expert
enced Draymsn; satisfaction guaranteed.
Stsld. Jennings s. Sons and Remington,
,johnson & Go. E. r. Clute. +
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
spIENnIn CHANCE.

The finest water poaer near the centre
~ salt Lake City, never fails, capable
Of driving q ten or eleven horse power
For Sale by BcoKHoLT & CUMMINGS
July 18th, 1854.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
Did.She Die7
"A Daughters Misery.

eleven years eur daughter suffered
on bed OF misery.
From complication OF kidney, liver,
rheumatic trouble and nervous debility.
Under the care Of The best physicians,
"Who gave her disease various names,
"But NO relief,
"And now she is restored to Us in good
heath BY a. simple q remedy IS Hop
Bitters, that we had Stunned for yelrs
before using it."-THE PARENTS.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
LOST.

A Diamond Ring with thres settings
The finder will be suitably rewarded oS
leaving ct this Office.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
snecial Advertisements.
WANTED.

s,,t.clsss woman shirt:iroger-none
SSS (. Third West Street,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
For RENT.

Elegantly Furnished Rooms, with eli
uodeTn conveniences, in suites and
ainole. ct the Thompson Building, "a
w Second South street. I 4
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
Miscellaneous.
Advertising CheassII

=
ut has become so common to write the
beginning OF an article IN an elegant, in
terestiDg manner,
"Then run it into some advertisement,
that we avoid all such.
''And simply call attention to the
merits of Hop Bitters in as plain, honest
terms IS possible.
ITO induce people
'tTo give them one trial, which so
proves their value that they will never
use anything else.
The REMEDY so favorsbly noticed in
all the papers,
Religious and secular, is
"HaviDg q large sale, and is supplant-
Ing all other medicines.
There is no denying the virtues of
the Hop plant, ard the proprietors Of
Hop Bitters have shown great shrewd.
ness
land ability
In conpoundiug q medicine whose
virtues are so palpable to every :one's
observation
-, Did.She DEF
she fingered and suffered along, pin
i4e away 81. the time for years."
"Fhe doctors doing her no good"
"And at last was cured By this Hop
Bitters the papers say so much about.
Indeed! Indeed!"
"How thankful we should be for that
madeleine; );
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-31
Railroads.
UTAH & NEVADA RAILWAY
On and aher

On and aNe-
WEDNESDAY. JUNE 4TH. 1884,
TIE Utah and Nevada Railway Com.
pany will run their trains IS follows
Sundays excepted)
Standard Mountain Time,
Leave Salt Lake City $40 am.
" Garfield 1000
a." Tooele lilo "
Arrive at Terminus ll.4O Z"
Leave Terminus 1OOp.m.
IS Tooele LEO -
4" Garfield $50 I"
Arrive Salt Lake City AS
THE BATHING TRAIN
Will leave Salt Lake City Sundays ex
cepted) for the Lake at 5.10 I'm; returning i,
arrive at $50 p. m.
SUNDAY TRAINS
Leave Salt Lake City for Black Rock and
Garfield only at 10 a. M and 4.80 p. m re-
turning arrive at $50 and 800 pm,
FARE-To Black Rock and Garfield and re
tuIn, on all Trains, SOC.
Children between 5 and 10 years Of age, 25c
~ special Rates given 20 Sunday Schools,
Societies, etc.
No freight will be received after D. m.
6. F. Fenton, WV. RITTER,
Gen. Fr't. and Pass. Ag't. Supt.