The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-08-16
COMET SPARKS.

In lunlsi Africa, wives sell from go
to $120 hoad. America is the coun.
try where tho dearest sell the cheapest.
A colored girl, at Saratoga, wears
$4,000 worth of diamonds. Very ap-
propriate II she is "coal black"
"Mr. when you get the headache,
why do you always insist upon Miss S.
playing the piano?" because tho
two misories neutralizo each other"
Cremation is becoming very COM
mon in England. Surely the devil
shows wonderful enterprise in begin
ming his endless work on this side of
eternity.
There is a James G.. Blaine in
California Jail, and when he read some
OF the tales told in the papers about
James G.. Blaine, he felt that he was
forever a ruined and disgraced man.
There is to be another thorough in
vestigation of the Greely expedition.
After long, tedious and costly inves-
tigation it will bc ascertained that the
weather about the north pole is very
cold.
Six hundred and ninety women
voted at recent election, in Seattle,
Washington Territory,-Exchange.
1t would be interesting information
to know who were the bosses in that
election. -s.
Let the poor school teacher who
tugs along in the school room take
heart from the knowledge that Gar-
field, Arthur, Cleveland, Blaine and
Hendricks once taught the young
shoot how to idea.
An exchange says an old mountain
eer heard every body talking about
GreeIy's return. "WhatY" said he,
"that blamed old fool out again? I'll
see him where Wards ducks went
before he'll ever git my vote agin."
Blaine and Cleveland both earned
their first money by teaching the
blind. Blaine is now blind, and Clevo-
land will teach him a lesson in No
yember, that he viii never forget; the
lesson that thepeople are not too blind,
but they can see tattoe's. at
Take wasp and pull out his sting
er, burn the pith out of sewing thread
and make his pants thereof, array him
in bobtailed coat and start him
down the street with section of rye
straw tied around with blue ribbon
} for hat, and you will have perfect
miniature OF dude.
Cut wasp In two and It's head will
keep moving about seemingly unmind-
| full that its body is gone. The SUBJ
Stantial part of the Republican party
has been severed from It's leader, but
the Plumed Knight still moves on in
desperate hope OF Il victorious life, re-
ceiving stings on every side from the
Executive part of his party,
In the cold bleak December,
After the fourth of November,
This will be the sad refrain
OF the Mulllgan Jim Blaine,
: "Had but served my country with
half the zeal | served the Little Rock
Railroad, she would not, in mine old
: age, have left me naked to the mercy
of a rude stream that must forever
hide me-"
~ got hold Of o Republican paper
yesterday" said John. II read
Blaine's letter of acceptance. The
tears just flowed from my eyes. / had
to quit reading for my face was suffus-
ed with tears" "Why, what was the
matter, uncle John?" "Oh, the letter
was so long and in such fine print it
) effected my weak eyes"
r 1t is often asked by some
= Where de bonds come from,
can make de explanation.
1t seems purity plain
, Dat old fader Blaine
: Was de daddy of dc bond speculation
T Now old fader Blaine was de speaker of dc
@ House,
And de Little Rock bonds wero on dc market
He was sly as any fox, and as nimble as
r And he crammcd dc Little Rock In his
pocket.
William Nye is said to have fractur-
: ed his backbone again in an attempt
= to write poem for Puck in which
! rhymes were to be made with the
1 names of Cleveland and Hendricks.
8 William should have remembered this
i history. Once in ancient times avery
3 smart man was asked to find word
to rhyme with month" He thought
long time, He finally said:
There were two men a hunting went,
Twas in December's month;
l. One had his pistol thrown away,
;, The other had his gunth-rown away.
# II William had recollected this cpl
:, sode his Pegasus would not have laid
y him down to lay him up. William
y could, we believe, write poetry like
that without the slightest effect on his
back.-N Y. Star.
= We know a man d modern times who