The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-24
MY UNCLE'S WILL.

"My dear Mr.. Payne" said my
deceased uncle's lawyer, with an en-
phatic wag of his forelinger, 81 assure
you there's no help for it. The Ian
guage OF the will perfectly simple and
explicit. Either you must do as your
late uncle desired, or YOU must let the
property go to the representative of his
deceased wife's family"
But surely, Blenkinsopp," l said,
deprecatingly, ''we might get the
Court of Chancery to set it aside, as be-
ing contrary to public policy. or some
thing of that sort. l know you can get
she Court of Chancery to affirm almost
anything you ask them, especially if it
something little abstruse and out of
the common; it gratifies the Court S
opinion of its own acumen. Now,
clearly, it's cont airy to public policy
that man should 90 and make his own
nephew ridiculous by his last will and
testament, ism it?''
Mr.. Blenkinsopp shook his head
vigorously. BLESS nv soul, Mr..
Payne" he answered, helping himself,
to comprehensive pinch from his
snuff-box IAN odious habit, confined, l
believe, at the present day to family
solicitors 'bless my soul, my dear sir,
the things simply impossible. Here's
your uncle, the late Anthony Akin,
Esquire, deceased, a person of sound
mi and an adult male above the age
of twenty-Oue yearS-tO be quite ac-
curate, PtatiS su9, seventy-eight-
makes his viii, and daily attests the
same in the presence of two witnesses;
everything quite in order; not single
point open to exception in any way.
Well, he gives and bequeaths to his
nephew, Theodore Payne, gentleman
that's you after a few unimpOrtant
le yacies, the bulk of his real ard per-
sonal estate provided only that YOU
adopt the surname of Akin, pretiXed
before and in addition to your own sur
name of Payne. But-and this is very
important - if You don't choose to adopt
and use the said surname of Akin. in
the manner hereinbefore recited, then
and in that case. nv dear Sir-whV,
then and in that case, as clear rs cur
rant Jelly, the whole said residue of his
real and personal estate is to 90 to the
heir or heirs-at-law of the late Amelia
Maria SuSannah Akin. wife of the said
Anthony Akin. Esquire. deceased.
Nothing could be simpler or palmer in
any way, and there's really nothing on
earth for yOu to do except to choose be-
tween the two alternatives so clearly SGT
before YOU by YOUR deceased uncle"
But look here, You know, Blenkin-
sOpp," | said. appealingly. mo fellow
can really be expected to GO
and call himself Aikin-Pavne.
now can he? It's positively too redicu-
lous. Mightn't | stick the PAYNE be-
fore the Akin, and call myself Payne
Akin, Ell? That wouldn't be
quite so absurdly suggestive of
Payne! Why, the comic papers would
take it up Immediately. Every footman
in London would grin audibly when
he announced me. fancy hear the
fellows this very moment; tlinging open
the door with violent attempt at
seriousness. and shouting out. Mr..
Haching- Pain, ha, ha. ha!' with loud
gufiaw behind the Intel 1t would be
simply uncomfortable"
"Mv dear sir, answered the unSvm-
pathetic BlenkinSopp (most unsvmpa-
tketic profession, an attorneys really),
1.-THE law doesn [ take into cOnSidera-
ton the question of the probable con-
duct of footmen. 1t must be Akin
Payne or nothing. l admit the coloca-
ton does sound a little ridiculous, TO be
sure; but your uncle'S will IS perfectly
unequivocal upon the Subiect-in fact.
ahem, | drew it up myself, to say the
truth; and unless you call yourself
Aikin-Payue. in the manner hereinbe-
fore recited, then and in that case, OBJ
serve there's no deception), then and
in that case the heir or heirS-at-law of
the late Amelia Maria SuSannah afore-
said will be entitled to benefit under the
will as fully in every respect as if the
property was bequeathed directly to
him, her or them, by name, and to no
other person.
And who the dickens are these
heirs at-law, BlenkinsOpp?" / ventured
to ask, after moments pause. during
which the lawyer had refreshed himself
with another prodigious sniff from his
snuff box.
''Who the dickens are thew. Mr..
PAYNE? | should say Mr. Aikin-Pavne.
ahem-why how the dickens should /
know, sir? You don't suppose l keep
a genealogical table and full ped
igree of all the second cousins of ali nv
clients hung up conspicuOusly in some
spare corner of my brain, do YOU, eh ?
Upon my soul L really haven't the
slightest notion. All l know about
them is that the late Mrs. Amelia Maria
Susannah Akin, deceased. had one sis
Ter, who married somebody or other
somewhere. against Mr.. Anthony
Atkins wishes, and that he never had
anything further to say to her st any
time. But where she's gone and how
she fares, mob rdy knows and nobody
cares sir, as the poet Justly remarks. "
Twas not previously acquainted with
the poets striking observation on this
nstter, but didn't stop to ask Mr..