The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1884-03-15
fro BE C 'NTINUED.

UsE AcKERs ENGLISH REMEDY for Com
sumption. Sold by DR.. G. T.. Horn. Le-
highton, and 4. A. Horn, Weissport.
-Hoboken has an electric girl. She
shocks every body.
Sci made men are not "born To
command" because they are not made
to order.
A duel is the quickest kind of an en-
counter, because it only takes two se-
conds
-"When does man resemble seam.
stress?' when he hens md haws and
Fps and tears"
Aimee tells reporter that she wears
out 1860 worth of stockings every year.
But as stockings comprise about her en-
tire wardrobe, the figures are not SO ap-
palling.
Old Mrs Finaphor hopes that no
more lives will be sacrificed in the hunt
for the north pole until some persons go
out there and ascertain whether such a
pole exists.
Lawyers aud doctors blunders have
been the cause OF more than one mans
choking to death Some persons have been
known to choke from coughing. These in-
stances are few if Jadwn's Pine Tar Syrup
is used. Per bottle, 25 cents and 81. For
sale at Thomas drug store.
Mooney does everything for a man, ="
said an old gentleman. pompously,
Yes, replied the Other one, "Jut mon.
l ey won't do as much for man as some
men will do for money"
"A timid young man has married a
lady whose weight verges closely on to
two hundred pounds. "My DEAR" he
says to her, "shall l help you over the
fence?" NO" says sue to him, "help
the fSnce."
"A family drama entitled abraham"
| would take we'll. Most everyone would
like to see cid man Abraham huggir e
his comely servant Hagar in the kitchen
while the old woman would be out mar
ketlng,
Mrs, Piatt has written a poem to
show that the ouly happy woman is
dead woman. We don't know about
that. We never saw dead woman who
appeared to be so tickled as a woman
with new bonnet
Subscribe for I'd read the ADVOCATE
it contains all the latest local news up to
the time Of going to press.
Pcck'S Bad Boy says he can sleep with
bis feet hanging out Of the window the
coldest of winter nights, if he can Only Le
furnished with a good supply of Jadwin's
Pine Tar Syrup. Verify, il is balm for
the afflicted Price, Csc. and 81 per bottle.
For sale at Thomas drug store.
Henry VIII. was the first and last
King Of England who was styled Dread
Sovereign"
A worthy old lady offers the follow
ing advice to girls: Whenever fellow
pops the question, don't blush and stare
ct your foIt, just throw your AIMS
around his neck, look him full IN the
face aud commence talking about tie
furniture"
The new mother was bitterly lament
ing that her frst.born was cross-eytd,
and the father, after looking at the babe
a second, said eneouragingly Never
mind, Martha, If he's cross.eyed he'll
never be a masher. There's some couso.
lation in that"
In playing a game Of seven-up with
a young lady from St. Paul, wicked
Bismarcker told her that every time she
held the jack Of trumps 1t was sure sisn
that her lover was thinking OF her. Then
he watched her face at each deal, aud
every time she blu,hed aud looked pleas
ed, led out and can yht her jack.
--"Whats the difference between an
orange aud a cabbagey" / don't know"
pleasantly answered the man. You
don'u" calculated the propounder of tue
inqairy. "You would be devil of
man 10 send after oranges.