Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-12-20
BRIGHT BITS.

BLOOD viii TELL so be careful how you
make cOnfdants of your relations.
Mr.. ST. john asserts that he Twill continue
the fight while there IS a pump left to stand
on" He must be cautious, or mukmen VIII
sour on him.-B0St0R Globe.
DIR. WATTS was hardly five feet tall and was
very ugly. lie proposed 10 a lady who reject
ed him because he was so ugly. He wasn't a
select Him to her.-LOUcH Courier.
AFAsHION PAPER says skeleton bOnnets
are ali the rage The husband is the one
who performs the ''rage" act when he Is call
ed upon to pay small fortune Tor the ghost
of hat.
THE New York Tribune has offered "Gail
Hamilton big pay for a series OF articles on
the late campaign. Why wouldn't some racy
sketches about TIE deluge please the tribune
readers?- Detroit Free Press.
II DO hate to see a woman work. said Gus
TO his wife. i have noticed that TRAIT IN
your character; you always roll over IN bed
and turn your face to the wall when l get up
10 build the fire." was the tart reply.
POuCEMAN-"Have you a permit to play
here" Organ Grindcr-'No, but It amuses
the little ones so much" POlicemau-"TGen
YOU will have the goodness to accompany me-"
every well. sir, what do you wish to sing:"-
FIiegsHde BiItter.
SAN FRANCISCO Chronicle allow much
did you say this was :" 'Oh, dollar and
half" "Ihat's a big price, isn't IL :" ''NO.
assure you. The drugs are very high" But
I am a druggist myself" "Oh, you are. Well
of cOurse-l5 cents"
TIE genial manager. John Stetson. once
went behind the scene in his New York thea
tire. and fOund fault With certain piece OF
scenery then in use. Nv hat Is the blamed
thing. anyway - he asked. The stage mana
ger Informed him II was scene after Michael
Angelo, whereupOn StetsOn promptly eX-
claimed: ''Wci. it's no gOOd-pay Nike his
salary and let him gO!'
TEE daughter Of a New York millionaire has
lust been refused by her fathers cOachman. to
whom she proposed elopement and marriage.
He took day to think about 1t, sized the
matter all up, and came to the conclusion that
he wanted wife who could take in washing
and help him around the stables when he
wanted day OF. No millionaire helplessness
in his domestic ciTcie.-BErlingt0R Hdtokeye.
An ESSAY By a Pupil Teacher.-Rector
,reads}: Horse racing is a favOrlte pastime
OF the aristOCracy and other blaCkguards.
JOCKEYS are fed on gin from Childhood, TO
stop their growth. The race course is a scene
OF drunkenness, profanity and vice, ruinOus
alike to body and soul. The next important
event is the st. Leger. The favOrite is Rat
catcher. but father says the straight tip is
BluenOse.-PuHch.
Mrs. POORE-''The horrid thing! 1 wish I'd
never got acquainted with her at all Mr.
PoOre-' What's the matter, dear?" THAT
stuck-up Mrs. De POultice has got so proud
now that she won't even recognize me on the
street" MY gracious, what luck! Old De
Poultice has stopped bowling to me too"
"Luck.'' BEST luck we ever had. l sup
pose, of course. Mrs. De POultice was friendly
with YOU, aud have been in fear and tTemb-
hing for six weeks" "Why. what abOut:n
Times are very hard now, and money is
mighty scarce" But what has that to do
might invite Us TO their silver wedding next
month -PhiEQdelDhid call.