Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1884-02-14
The Prevailing Question.


"My dear" said Mrs. Spoopendyke
| holding up one of her husband 3 scurfs,
with her head very much on one side,
and wondering whether she had bet
I ter turn ii for future Wear or cut It into
! patch - fol her easy quilt: My dear,
see that the De uocrats are opposed
TO having the Republicans build more
ships TO protect the tariff. Do you
know anything about it?''
"Where'd you see it?n demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke shutting his book
with n bang and scrulinizing his wi fe
carefully. "What report of Il walking
match did yon get that political intel
| ligence from"
ITS in all the papers," protested
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "As near as
could make out rom what they said,
the Republican navy had run down SO
much that the Democrats were afraid
we couldn't defend the tariff IN case of
Il var, and the English would come
over here and run away with it,.
Though don't see what the English
would do with it, for they have all
they can do in getting along with Ire
land
''Did that paper advertise the advan-
tages of any especial lunalic asylum
that you noticed?' inquired Mr.. SpOo.
pendy Ike, with much apparent inter
est in the reply. Did it set forth the
superiority of any particular style of
wooden head over the genuine article?
What's the navy got TO do with the
tariff, anyway? Do you know the
difference between the tariff and
Tom cat?"
It's something Democratic, isn't ~"
munlbled Mrs. Spoopendyke, who had
made up her mind To put the scarf into
tn crazy quilt. "When the republic
cans had it, it got pretty high, and l
saw by one of the papers that the Dem
ocrats were standing on it now, sup
pose to keep it down. Really L don't
see why they don't let the English
have il if ii is such bother, because
Look here,n interrupted Mr.. Spoo-
pennyke, with groan of despair.
II ave you got an idea that the tariff
is some kind Of an animal? Think it
works on springs? Willyou convey to
my mind $ me kind OF a notion OF what
you think the thing is?"
~ don't know" replied Mrs. Spoop-
Gndy Ike, after deep reflection. "Froa
all they have said about 1t, got the
IN pISsSlpf ttut " NHH i1isiuS WI MN
and stuffed with wool, though, of
course, -
THAT'S it!r retorted Mr. Spoopen-
dyke. solemnly. "You know more
about it than thought You did. And
ri suppose you think they stand 1t up
on one end between the two political
parties, aud the one which succeeds i'll
pushiug il over on the other wins the
al, innoI
"Yes," chirped Mrs. Spoopendyke,
delighted TO find that she had IN ade
herself understood. II know all that,
but what uzzes me is how the Demo-
Gratis can be anding on II when the
Republicans got their president after
al know-"
"You knnw!' roared Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, unable 10 stand II any longer.
.,'rhat's the trouble with you; you
know il all! Take what you know
with what you believe, and you only
want n few illustrations aud II lively
agent 10 be "a three-ply directory! DID
il ever occur 10 you that the tarlil
might he the duty Imposed on the I'M
pprtation of foreign good? Did any
If The pupers you have been making
no into bu-tles convey that IDA to
your mind?" ;,
"rhen | understand IL perlectiy,
smiled Mrs Spnopendyke.. preparing
Ia in,pnrt her views. "And that's he
reason the Democrats want IL, 10 En-
Gland won'f get the lrlril.
"Who said anything about me iilsl'
and Englisl?n demanded Mr.. Spoop,c
eudyke. II said the importation oi
goods, not peoplr. lhink they SEND
Iushmen over here in bales marked
This end up Does it run in your
rattling skull that our revenue Is de'
rived nom canned lrishmen, or Irish
men IN the original WOOD? | tell ye'
we put tariff ON foreign man,,ia;.
lures. and the question now is whether
the taIilf shall be reduced or not. NOW,
Won settle down on that. and see II you
can make anything of ~ &C.,.
Certainly replied MIS-; Spoopen.
! dyke, all ut sea again, we nave So'