, 1884-10-25
DOWN THE SCUTTLE.
Mr.. JHrphiy DiscoysFs a Plan By
Which 70 Deceive His wife
AZ 10 tho Time He Returned from
Ia Temperance Leeturs,n a.
e were-DaHger &
Ahead.


lIlttSpufs CnTOulcle- leluErupl-l
The Thin Man without a shirt-coilar was
evidently ticklsd. lie plainly evinced II. as
men vto feel ticklei generally do, by sundry
yrunts. mods Of tie head. and sly glances, ac-
,oIppanied by brUad and knowing SMILES,
~Wot, 1t, Mr.. Jafphlyf" asked the Cold
Tea Man.
why. you see. Martha got In the habit Of
lifting up for me at an early age, and she
ant break it of; 50 | NOV Just about the
reception I'll get every night when l go home
lfter tea. ! couldn't persuade her to
20 70 bed and mind her own bust
less, so 1 studied oil the matter. We
i've In one Of the center houses of a
block ~ five two-story and attic buildings.
There's scuttles in the roofs OF all OF them,
md / persuaded Mr. Creenup. who lives in
he adjoining house. to let me in his house
asst NIGHT about ! o'clock, and l went up
through his scuttle and over to mine, and 50
Town int nur bedroom. could zee Martha.
rom the head Of the .tairs, sitting in the
'ront room cycling the clock with Il look that
was a very tart chrome But | undressed
and quietly got in bed, and there | lay wait
ing developments. Every now and then I'D
rear Martha give a short. hdgsty cough.
Then I'd hear Der get up and prance around
he room a little and ~by-and-by 90 70 the
front windows and slam the shutters. Then
l tONAA near ntI lAlklnZ W ntI5ell=
Praying for you probablyf'
80, I reckon; and at last. after I'd lain
there about an hour. 1 heard her get up and
go stand out on the front step for a gool i've
minute. I'll bet 81 / know where the mop
handle was then; but | was so comfortable
in bed, like, / didn't care 10 look it up. Then
she came in and slammed the door and locked
It, and commenced coming upstairs. Every
other step she'd say, %, the wretch Won't 1
give it hint l know where be Isl know
where be Is! He needn't think to deceive
mel o, the ~villainn Bout the time she had
nearly got 10 the landing 1 think she must
have seen the light streaming out of the door
that I'd left ajar. | could hear her stop, and
then l commenced to snore, | was afraid to
look. you know; but l could feel her eau
tiously come up TO the door and
look In. Well, sir, I'd given my
pension from the war Of 177G to have seen
her about the time she saw it was me. III
bet it was fun. But ! was afraid tn do any
thing but snore. Then she came into the
room, and, by the way she breathed and
TODD around, 1 had 20 nearly bite my tongue
of to keep a straight face on me. | could
feel that she sat down In a chair and was
iuRfopnded. 1 never let on, but kept on
snoring like thunder; but, when she kicked
over a chair, l turned and pretended to wake
up, 1 n OF dazed like. and says;
"'Why. Martha, dear, amt you come to
bed YETI
"'JarphIy,' said she, awful slow and solemn
like, when did you como inf
@'Why, must be four or five hours ago.
Don't you remember when l told you not to
go to sleep again in the rocker, but to come
up to bedr and 1 turned over u protested
to go to sleep again,
"she never made any reply, but acted In a
dazed. ,bswildered sort Of way. and when
she got TO bed l could tell she didn't sleep a
wink for three hours. Once she punched me
in the ribs and said, Jeremiah, where were
you to-nightf and l says, Why, l went over
10 hear Mrs. Coldtabb's lecture on temper
nnoe; let out about $50. Then / went to
Sleep
a,rhia morning Il rrns fun tn match