The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06
THREAD BOY.
lPeekssaa.)

yeuE pa on fre. ard getting up a panic in the chufchf" said tho sroceTyman to tAe bad boy, as he took out dog whistle and blew bi1ss, and started clf with sausage following him, he having tied
 hne thread b the sausage before whist ling "Here, bring back that sausage l" Well, chain your sausage M yea doat want it to follow people o6 when they whistle" said the boy, as the grcceUman broke the thread and put the sausAge back on the counter. "l didnt get up no panic. It was pa You see, we all went to church, and It vas long ser mon, one of these o-becon,inaed .in-our- next sermons. with chsp,ers and every body was tired. You know how uneasy boy will get tn church, and how he feels in hts pockets all the time. l was feel. iug in my pockets and found one of these cigar-lighters that has coil oi cotton in it. and you touch spring and percussion cap inside of tho concern lights the cotton, and you can light a cigar with 1t. took 1t out of my pocket and had 1t in my hand, jua handling it, you know, cause l was nervous, when pa leaned over to me and said, sWhas you got thereT l said Nothing very much, and pa said Give it here, and l handed k to pa and he looked mad at me and put 1t in his pants pocket. He didn't know what it was, but thought i was fool ing with something I ought not to, and he took it away from mo on general ptin- ciples. When pa put It In his pocke, guess he touched the spring, 'eause 1 heard a muffied sound as though the cap had exploded, and knew the cotton would be on fire, but didn't dare to tell pa for fear he would hit me in the lip. Pa heard It, but guess he thought it was something inside of him that had broke. Maybe hs thought It was rib, or maybe he thought one oi mas corsets had broke. Anyway pretty soon l smelled something burning, but It wasn't my pu, in and didn't say noth- ing. Pa smelled woolen a burning and
 he snuffed and looked around at me as though he thought It was me celebrating, and then he looked at ma, and ma looked at him. l looked at the minister, and jus, drank in the words he uttered like COW drinking slopa. = An old maid in the sea, ahead of us looked around at pa and puckered up her nose, and pa though, she was in pain, and he leaned forward and asked her if anything was burning about her, and she was mad, and founced along to the other end of the seat. 1 kept looking at the minister, and every body looked at pa and snuhed. Ma saw the smoke coming out of pas clothes. and told him he was on fire. Pa looked down at hisself, and the smoke was billing out of his coat, which Has bu,toned up, and quicker'n scat he junped up and be- gan to pull of his coat, and he threw it on the floor. Then he see it wasnt in his coat, and he jerked his yes, oH, and by that time everybody in the house thought he was crazy or drunk, and some Of them sad Put him oa!,' and A deacon came along and collared pa, and told him he must no; remove any more of hts wearing apparel, but pa said he was on fire. and the wimmen screamed when he said fire, and some men took pa by the collar and the pants and made him walk turkey into the vesubule, and the minis. ter told the congregation to remain
 seated, as there was no danger, only A man under the influence of liquor, tha, bane of the human race, and he went on
 and preached a temperance sermon, with pa as q text. Well, when they 70. pa out into the vcs,ibulc they found hie pants pocket was all on fire, but 1t didn't blaze. It only smoked. Pa wanted to kick of hts pants, but the deacons vho pass the sassar, they took out his pocket and put out the fire, and then you ought to have seen pa. He realized that ks
 had made . scene, and his eyes stack out, and his face was red, and the dsa. cons thought he did it on purpose, and were going so have him arrested, and he laid 1t to me. They came in AiteY his coat and vest, and juss then the sermon was over, and ma and me went out h the vessibule, and it smclled as though some body had burned rag. Pa asked me il
 didn't set him a6re with an internal machine, and told him it was only . cigar-Iighter, and If he hadn't touched lt of after he tosk It away from me, he wouldn't have had any trouble. They wanted me to show how it worked there in the vestibule and saw s cigar sticking out Of the vest pocket of the Sunday school superintendent, and ] took the cigar and put it in my mouth and touchsd of the cigar tighter and 1t the cigar, and they all laughed, until they began to think it wasn't just the thing to smoke in church, and then they told me better go out. We went home, and pa smells as though there had beea fire in . rsg warehouse. He was going to maui me for giving the cigar lighter to him ip church, but ma took my part, and told him f be had minded his own business and listensd to the sermon he wouidn't have get ap ce4Aagresiea- think pa was pretty scared when he found he wss a6se, for the minister had been telling how sinners would be berned with hssl fire, and pa thought the time of one sin- ner had come before the schedule time. Well, boy is misunderssood more than any other animal except a est" and the boy whis.ied again al the gsocsryman's sausage, but when the sausage didn't follow him, he said, Don't disturb It. IL has curisd up and goae to sleep z and ss be vent out the docs, 2 pound weight