The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1884-02-21
Not. . Match for the Dude.

Talk about Yer idioods, 4; said d Texas
stockman On the Chicago, Burli gton 81
Quincy train, but a leetle the doodest
dood 1 ever seen wuz 8 feiIer thetE come;
down from Boston into our kentya year
ago las, eptember. B a
5 He didn't stay fiji Texas long, 4 guess
said q little man I'd a silE hal. y
'sYes,D he's there now Is sfi$i
4 thought they wouldn' Jet dude.
live in Texas. z
Taal, I'll You how il Wuz We come t0
let him stay. BE come down there with
his peeked boots an his tight trousers
an yaller kid gloves, q sslingin' more
style than a new cong FRESHMAN on the
forth O July, an tellin' folks thet his
doctor said he'd got the consump lion an
d have to- live IN q warm climat Z Isl
yes, Of course, you pitiad The pour:
fellow and let him stay on ttDakaseount; s
Not exactly thet; but, as / WIZ asay-I
in he slung bis style like q Mormon
walkin' BY a United States marshal's Of
fee. WAL, one night he come into 81
saloon where a lot Of us WIZ a-drinkins
an e steps up to the bar an, says:
/ say, bahtendah, give; me Hife Of aW:
VAIN lemonade, Bill jackson snorted
right out, an then says e, Boys, what
dye say? let's make the dood drink gin,
It WIZ a go, so Bill walks up an sIaps
the dood on the hack like he'd break i'm
IN two. Bills the best man on the mus
Gle In our hull kentry. Say, says BILL
you'd better drink gin but it Is.
VAIN lemonade ! desiah, J, says the dood.a
WAL says Bill, WAN lemonade don't
go in these ere parts; you drinks gin Or
you drinks nuthin; you hear me- 1t 1t --s -
ah seems to me your mistaken says
the dood, 'ithout seemin' to see there wuz
trouble ahead; 7 want awdwinl
VAIN lemonade an he rech out fur the
glass. Bill wunk at the rest on us, an
says to the dood: Dye know what I'm
a-goin' to do ef you tries to drink any
thing but ginP Weally,I 1 do not, malr.
deah boy 'Waal,' says Bill, Tn a-goin,
to stand you on yer head in thot air box
O. saw DUST 'AW-that would not be
wight says the dood q ippin' up his
glass to drink. Bill rech out an grabbed
i'm by the neck, an never see a man
get licked SO quiek." s;s 5iss!
bill was too much for him, was hep
'No stree, it wuz t'other way. It @uz
Bill tibet got licked. Jerusalem an Gin
raj jackson, but how thet dood did jump
about! An every time. o jumped 'e
fetched Bill one on the eye er5 under the
ear er along, the jaw .Yf BIZ couldn't
git within gunshot nv I'm. Why. tibet air
do0d he'd more tricks fur fitin' then Bill
ever dreamp' nv. FIRST he'd be behind
Bill an then on top ny i'm. an, then un-
der i'm, an every time Bill opened an
eye the dood stuck fist IN it erry FIST, it
didn't make no Offence tohim. He Wuz
just about es handy with his thnmpers es
any, man needs to be in this world. Il
didn't take him more'n a minute to go
all around Bill an over i'm an through,
i'm in the bargain; an then when he he'd
Bill pretty we'll licked he took him the
allfredest crack on the nose an sent i'm
over in tlie: corner behind the ice-box
like bundle o. old clo'es, -
"What did he do then ?''
Wy, heiest turned sfoun' an brushed
the sawdust OF his knee where he'd ducked
down to come up under Bill, an says he:
Gentlemen, will you all join me--aw-
in VAIN lemouade2 An we iined i'm
too quick. AZ
'Yes, he's there yet; AMI guess he kin
stay unless the consumption gifts away
with i'm. There hain't nuthin' down there
thet kin do it, that's sure."' Mirror Of
American Sports. t-