Morning journal and courier., 1884-09-13
SCANDALOUS.


 The breath of scandal has at last reached Candidate St. John. He was brought up on a bottle.-Trenton Times.
 Latest from the Conundrum C1ub-''Why is an elevator like the pet of the seasons Be cause it's holster. ."-New York Journal.
 A colored woman in Boston is gradually turning white, but this is not remarkable. White women often color up.-Philadelph Call
 "Yes," :" said a henpecked husband, ''there truly is no place like home, and that's why l keep away from it so much "-Burlington Free Press.
 First Club Man-':Well, 'pon my soul, 1 never knew fatter man than Grineland- ster" Second Club -''Excuse me, Bob, but all the world knows you're a flatterer. '- Life.
 Mrs. Malaprop can't understand this Egyp- tian trouble at all. She thought that Alex ander the Great cut the Gordian knot ever so long ago; yet here it turns up all of Soudan!-New York Graphic.
 One who doesn't dote on music MT. Smith-'EJones don't object to t.4usic, but when that dog of yours barks all night think it little too much'' ''Then you don't appreciate Ofenbach?'
 Not fuIl-grown call: 'tAh, MT Hebble- ton, hear that you have been called to the ministry 'FWeIl can hardly term it a call. They only Ou0r ne nN0 nunOT0O d year. Sort of whisper, you understand
 In China Foo Chow means Happy City, Then, of course, chow chow must mean ftcity city," A man who indulges too freely in it certainly feels as if he had swallowed a city city, factories and Philadelphia Gail.
 The Broadway give-away: Stranger-''If you please, sir, want Broadway and Tenth street." Newsletter = 'tYez can't have Broadway; it's meesef has rid it in thim papers as how it's been giv' away; but yez moight get Tinth strait eff ye'd hurry up an zee the board of aldermin. ."-Harper s Weekly.
 The intensely moral show: Mrs Jarley- kins-tfThis, ladies and gents, is the intense 1 1v American phenomenon, discovered on American soil sandwiched between some 1 Mulligan letters and little rock. He is re- markable for being capable of suiting him self to anyone to whom he takes a fancy; 1 half Celtic and half Teutonic in front, his | back half Mongolian and half Ethiopian. Experts are now at work on his sides, and we hope to find various channels which will make him still more useful to this enter | tainment. ."-Harper's Weekly Thought-reading at the seaside.-Seafaring party-''Do you believe in this 'ere thought reading, sir, what we lear so much of in Lon don2n Tourist sWel1-er-I don't know. Don't think I do much: Do you believe in l it2'' Seafaring party-''In course does, sir. FIT instance, knows pretty well what you're a thinkin' of now" Tourist t-'t Indeedl ! What do you suppose I'm thinking of2" Sea- i faring party-"Well, sir, begging your par | don, it strikes me as how you're a-thinking as how this 'ere old party might take it | kindly if you was to arsk him what he'd have to drink" (Tourist is in for it.) | The following beautiful and touching trib- | ute to the sterling worth of the Chequamegon l cornet band was signed by all the officers and passengers of the Lake Superior steamer | City of Duluth: We, the undersigned officers and fellow voyagers on the good steamer City of Duluth, hereby tender our grati6ed vote o1