Morning journal and courier., 1884-12-18
WATKR FED.

ssDoes we're kape nothin but dry goods
 here?' t3No, ma'am.'' ''Thin where will I
 be afther goin' for watered silkF' ''Mysophobia {fear of dirD is new dis ease" The Buffalo street cleaning contract
 or was vaccinated for mysophobia.
 Express.
 q do hate to see a woman work, !" said Gus
 to his wife. ESI have noticed that trait in
 your character; you always roll over in bed
 and turn your face to the wall when I get up
 to build the fire, D was the tart reply. It is said that the young ladies of St. Louis
 are organizing against the custom of kissing
 the bride after the bridal ceremony. To be
 obliged to be kissed by one St. Louis man is all that the average girl can stand.-Phila- delphia Call.
 An exchange says that for a variety of reas- ons it is a good thing for young lady to learn how to support herself. Probably one good reason is that corset strings not al ways to be depended upon in an emergency. Boston Globe
 ''Is your son close studentp inquired
 gentleman visiting Quarle. ''Yes, too darned
 much so. have paid for more clothes for him since he went away to school than 1
 ever had in nay ife," answered Quarle.-= Brooklyn Times.
 t'I return the enclosed manuscript" wrote the editor of religious weekly, simply be- cause am so full at present" The contri-
 butor replied that when the editors toot was over he would be glad to submit the manu-
 script again.-Burlington Free Press. An Orange count, N. Y, jury recently awarded $500 damages for @ broken beer
 wagon and $125 for the negro's life who was driving it. And yet law and order leagues continue to be established in the rural parts of New York Burlington Free Press. A young man in this city cannot quite make out whether his girl was sarcastic or not in her remark to him, after he had quite proudly declared that there was noble blood" in his veins, that only the night be- fore her father had said the same thing about his Guernsey cow.-Boston Times. The genial manager John Stetson once went behind the scene in his New York the | ater, and found fault with certain piece of scenery then in use. ''What is the blamed l thing, anyway2" he asked The stage mana chael Angelo, whereupon Stetson promptly exclaimed; ''Well, it's no good-pay Mike his salary and let him go!'
 Husband-"I have had my wages reduced D Wife with alarm(-''Is it true?' Husband -"Yes, but don't feel bad about it, Mary; we are the gathers. They never did pay, I you know, and now instead of losing twelve | dollars week, I shall lose but ten. We can
 now afford to have some new clothes and new furniture and lots of other things we
 have been wanting for long while. ."-Bos- ton Transcript.
 All hopes blasted: Jenks-"Ah, Blinks, | glad to see you. How is Mrs. Blinks and the baby?n B1inks-'sWell-very we'll; only I am little disappointed in the baby" "Dis- l appointedi Why, it's boy, isn't it?' "Yes, but you know the desire of my heart has been to have son to succeed me as editor of the Evening Clarion" ''Yes, and no doubt I the youngster will inherit his- fathers tall ents.' ftBut he won't" ftWont?" t'No; I 1 shall never be able to make anything but a l morning paper editor out of him. He sleeps | all day and stays awake all night. ."-Phila- l delphia Call