Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-12-11
IRONTON. MO. Y. DECEMBER II. 1854. NUN
NUMBER ~,
The scrap-Rook.
TT WuRKED.

+
/ TT WORKED.
/ "Where've you been, Frank?u
Down in st. Louis"
"What doing?p
Running photograph gallery"
/ Did It w0rk?n
"Work! should say ii did. Firs
day hung out sign Babies takel
without prior notice. and next morn
ing found four on my doorstep
THE OLD woMAN's TOOTH.
What do you charge for puliin
teetli?' asked q countryman of q den
| tist.
Fifty cents, without pain?n
"Ah, how much when it hurts?,
TWENTY-FIVE cents"
All right, mister. My old woman,I
be up here some time durin' the fore.
noon with jumpin' tooth and you jest
yank It out and tell her the charges il
all paid. There's quarter"
ENGAGED.
Mr.. Cleveland was sitting at his
desk when an attendant entered the
room and placed number of cards be-
fore him.
LET me see,n he mused, reading
them off slowly. "Mr. Schurtz, Mr..
Curtis, Mr.. Watterson, Mr.. Jones
Jones? Jones? All, yes, of the Times;
Mr.. Pulitzer, Col. Mcclure
"You con say to the gentlemen who
are waiting" remarked Mr.. Cleveland
to the attendant, "that the governor is
very busy; that he is engaged in con-
sidering certain MA alters relating to his
future cabinet, and that he does not
wish to be disturbed"
STURGEON ON TOBACCO.
It may be interesting to know what
the Rev. Mr.. Spurgton thinks of RAJ
leigh's delight. III discourse at the
Tabernacle he declared that If any body
could show him in the Bible the COM
mand "Theu shalt not smoke" he was
ready to keep it. II find,n he said, 40
commandments, and it's as much as l
can do to keep them; and I've no desire
to make them into IL or IL. Why;
man may think it a sin to have his
give it up and have them whitewash-
ed. I wish to say that I am not
ashamed of anything whatever that
do; don't think smoking makes me
ashamed, and therefore mean to
smoker
GEN. GRANTS OLD FRIEND.
President Grant received the follow
ing appeal in 1873:
FLoRIssANT. st. Louis Co., Mo-.
Oct. 6.-DEAR SIR:-Do you remem-
ber tile time I used to load the wood
for you on the old Dent farm? aud
when we bought tobacco and whisky
by turns? / think you must be the
same good-hearred man you was then.
You are up-up in the world-ana i
am down, though we were once on the
same round of the same ladder. Would
you take it as an unwarranted liberty
if should ask you to lend me $50?
Congressman Wells can tell you that
in spite of ill-luck my record has at
east been honorable. Yours with
great respect, 49,
Grants memory. The writer was his
period W hen he supported his
family by hauling wood from the farm
of his father-in-law, Col. Dent, and
selling it in the st. Louis market. The
return mail carried back u 500 check
to the old Washington Cor.
Chicago Tribune.
WHY HE RESIGNED.
During the administration of Presi-
dent Hayes the postmaster at remote
office In Minnesota gave singular
reason for resiyEing his trust. Writing
to the first assistant postmaster-gen-
eral he said:
"I desire and hereby give up and
surrender the postOffice, of course
lukking after things until my successor
is appointed. ! recomend JEFF Taylor
who hassn't much to do. AS you know
the pay is only $40 year it has cost
me half my crop as well as neglect of
my store fur I've bin in fuss from the |
first month after begun. Ime man
who shanes the devil to tell the truth. |
The fact is I've got wife and her two
sisters who live with me in the store |
where the postoffice is :.nd there's bin |
some terrible rows about openin letters
which | don't occuse ennybody put
everyboddy has their suspicious. But
will be winlmin as long as
there is curiosity which the snake put
INTO them ever since the days of the |
garden of Eaden. And don't propose
to eat buckshot and butcher knives for
he sake of $40 year. Please let me
know at once or I will tell the mail
'ider to go on to the next office."-
Correspondence.
BooRIABooLAGHA.
Under the reign of Gnezo, the late
King of Dahc3ney, human sacrifices
rad become comparatively rare; but
1is successor, Grery, a slave to the
has revived them, and
low many are practiced with greater
,ruelty than ever. The number of