, 1884-03-02
THE DUDEsT DUDE.
An Esthete from Boston Rather AS
tonishes Blu Jackson. of
Texas.

lCnlcago NewS-l
Talk about yer doods,p said a Texas stock.
man on the Chicago, Burlington & Quincy
train last night, ~but a leetle the doodes,
dood / ever seen wuz a Teller tibet come down
from Boston into our kentry a year ago las
September"
@He didn't stay in Texas long, 1 guess
said a little man in a silk hat
@Yas, he's there now"
Al thought they wouldn't let q dudel live In
TexaS."
@Wall, III tell you how 1t wuz we come to
let him stay. he come down there with bis
peeked boots an his tight trousers an yaller
kid gloves, a slingin' more style than a new
congressman on the Fo'th o, July, an'a tellin'
folks tibet his doctor said he'd got the con-
sumption an d have to Live in a warm eli
mate"
@Ah, yes, of course, you pitied the poor fel-
low. and let him stay on that account"
mot exactly that; but, as l was a-sayin,,
he slung his style like a Mormon walkin' by
a United States marshal's office. WAL, one
night he come into a saloon where a lot of Us
wuz n%-drinkin', an e steps up to the bar an
says: 'Aw-I say, bah-tendah, give me a
trifie Of NV VAIN lemonade Bill jackson
snorted right out. an then says o: Boys,
what dye sayi les make the dood drink GIN
1t wuz a go, 80 Bill walks up an slaps the
uOOl On u DhCk uko ueu DTbdk LII IN TWO.
ills the best man on the muscle in our
hull kentry. Say says Bill, you'd bet
ter drink gin 'Aw-but it b VAIN
lemonade l desiah,' says tho dood. WAL,
says Bill, warm lemonade don't go in
these ere parts; you drinks gin or
you drinks nuthin' you hear me. 'It-aw-
seems to me you're mistaken, says the
dood, without seemin' to see there wuz
trouble ahead; 4 want to-aw-dwink VAIN
lemonade an he rech out fur the glass.
Bill wunk ut the rest on us an says to the
dood: Dye know what Pm a-goin' to do Of
you tries to drink anything but gini
WEAKLY, l do not NAH deah boy WAL,
says Bill, I'm a-goin' to stand you on yer
head in that air box o. sawdust' 'Aw-that
would not be wight says the dood, a-tippin'
up his glass to drink. Bill rech out on
grabbed him by the neck. an l never seen a
man git licked so quick"
1Bil was too much for him, was herr
mo stree, 1t wuz t'other way. 1t wuz Bill
tibet got licked. Gerusalem an Gin'ral Jack.
son, but how that dood did jump about
An every time % jumped % fetched Bill one
on the oys or under thu ear err along the jaw,
an Bill couldn't git within gunshot NV i'm
Why, tibet air hood he'd more tricks fur
6htin' than Bill ever dreamp' Nv. Furst
be'dbe behind Bill an then on top NV i'm,
an then under I'M, an every time Bill
opened an eye the dood stuck a fist In it
cry fist, it didn't make no Difference to him
He wuz just about es handy with his thump-
ers es any man needs to be in this world. Il
didn't take him more'n minute to go around
Bill an over i'm an through i'm in the bar
gain; an then when he had Bill pretty wei
licked be took him the all firedest crack OF
the nose an sent i'm over in the corner bo-
hind the ice-box like a bundle o. old ~clo'es."
SWhat did he do thenl"
"Wy, he jest turned aroun' an brushed the
sawdust off his knee where he'd ducked down
to come up under Bill, an says he, Gentle
men; will you all join me-aw-in a wan
l%emonadef An we jined i'm, too quick.
ayes, he's there yet; an l guess he kin stay
unless the consumption gifts away with i'm
There hain't nothing else down there tibet kin
do 1t, that's sure