St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-07-12
NUMEROUS ITEMS.

All the early martyrs were not poor. John
the Baptist was one ''sent ahead in the wild
erness." New York Graphic.
New York City spends 5000, 600 annual
ly on churches and S7,OO0,0 600 on amuse-
ments, which goes to show that she is having
more fun in this world than she will see in
the next.-Fort Worth Gazette
Chicago Belle-'sWhat are you hunting
for!'' Chicago Boy-'I want a piece of
leather to cover my ball" Chicago Belle
'sWen, there is one of my old shoes. Take
that Chicago Boy-s'It isn't football y
Philadelphia Call.
A correspondent writes us that the sub
joined queries and replies recently occurred
in Sunday-school: Teacher-tHow many
men have you read of by the name Of James!''
Scholar-''Two." Teacher-"What were
their names?' Scholar-s'Frank and
jesse"
"Hello,' said the editor to the obsequious
individual who daily sauntered into the sane
tum to occupy the best chair and confscate
the exchanges. AWhy are you different
son of gun from what ama'' 81 don't
know, / am sure,'' grinned the visitor
Because I'm rihed and you're smooth
bore.'
A gentleman bought newspaper and ten
dered in payment piece of forty sous. The
newspaper woman: II haven't the change;
you can pay me as you pass along to-mor-
row. The gentleman: ''But suppose !
should be killed to-days'' The newspaper
woman: sob, it wouldn't be a very great
loss l''-Paris Wit.
ssMay / trouble you to ten me what time
it is.' said a trim old lady at a st. Nicholas
table d'hote not long ago to her vis-a-vis.
"Certainly,'' said the gentleman addressed,
taking out his watch; lit is just O'clock
nThank you,'' she said, ''that's my pill
time" And she took one then and there
Hotel Mail.
Young misunderstanding sorry to tell
you, Clara, that our engagement must be
broken off. I've heard bad news" Clara
/ speaking excitedly)-"Engage must
be broken Off. Heard bad news.n eyes,
Clara; bad news. I've just learned that your
grandfather kept fish stand in Fulton Mar
ket.H
The post Office department received recent
" the following brief but comprehensive let
ter from G.. NJ Gregg, postmaster at Mutt
NJ: ''Our town has gone to the sweet by
and by; only one family left. / respectfully
resign my position as postmaster here. West
ward the star of empire takes its way and
also the postmaster"
An Austin boy kept on throwing his cap
into the air and catching it after his father
had told him to keep his hat on his head. At
ter brief, but painful interview, the parent
threw away the strap and asked: NOV, do
you know where your cap should have beens''
Eyes, SIR sobbed the boy, rubbing himself
where he needed it most, 1T should have
been under my clothes. - TScas Sitting.
Little Sell-'' Mamma, what language is
/ This ON the bill Of farel" Mamma-'1t is
French, my dear" Little Nell--ssCan you
lsread it.1 Mamma-ssI can understand lit
tie OF it, but not much.'' Little Nell-ssW Why
does theihotel man put the names in French!''
Mammal Because most people can't pro-
nouBce the names without making them
selves ridiculous, and they therefore order
Just as little as possible.
He was young lawyer and was delivering
his maiden speech. Like most young law
yershe was ford, rhetorical, scattering and
Rindy- For four weary hours he talked at
the court and the jury, until every body felt
like lynching him. When he got through,
his opponent. a grizzled old professional,
arose, looked sweetly at the judge. and said |:
ssYour honor, / viii follow the example Of
MY young friend who has just finished, and
submit the case without argument Then
! he SAT down and the silence was large and op-
| press.ye.