The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1884-07-23

/ a renetrstlne stndy Of Frsneh
/ my dear, said bIrs. Spoopendyke.
looking earnestly at her husband and
biting the side Of her forefnger,
dear. do you know We OUGHT to study
Frencha"
4 What for?o asked Mr.. Spoonpen-
dyke, laying down bis paper and lean
ing back with an air Of Patience 50
i obviously artificial that 3 looked Ike
print ;-Fouud she English language
too short for your pFofundisy Of fdeas9
Got an idea that you would appear
better in loW-neeked and sshort-sleeFed
French than you do In Jour native yard
and half Of tongHel IS a
4 1T Wasn't that, replied Mrs. Spoop-
| endTke, examining her finger. II
thought perhaps, we might 60 70
4 Europe some time, and then we could
enjoy Il better II we could talk like the
j rest. - 40 sssA !
/ II don't know, said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, severely. ut strikes me that
when get where you and the rest talk
alike shan't hare much Of a time.
How're you going to fix iten
81 was thinking we might get one Of
the French systems and study it nights
exclaimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. In
fact, she continued Historically. "I've
bought it already, and I can talk q
little now. -
Lets hear" grunted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, startled By the the fact that his
wife had run little ahead of him.
IAN right" giggled Mrs Spoopen-
dyke. Now, you listen Carson.
donny may lee--lee-0h. yesl-lee-lee
deiunner la forshet! I'll bet cookeY
! you can't guess what that means9''
Have you vivvisected any genuine
Frenchman with that particular effort
yet?" demanded Mr.. SpoOpendyke.
.'Cornered tramp and tried it on him
to see how it worksPn 80
u knew You wouldn't guess it!''
crowed Mrs. Spoopendyke, clapping
her hands. "And that is an easy one,
too, What do You do first thing; in;
Il generally watch female luaatic
taking the hardware out of her.
crimps," suggested Mr.. Spoopendyke,
solemnly. us that the French for
knock-kneed hair-pins. with the knick-
erbockers On emp"
No." replied Mrs. Spoopendyke,
shaking her.head emphatically. THAT
isn't it. The first thing you say in
France is Carson, porter moy mon cafe
au lay, and he brings il. -
HE must be loaded in both barrels
with an accommod dating spirit. groWl-
| ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, s'if he brings any
thing on that stutter. What does he
do with the other thing you called for?
Leaves it tied up in the yard, maybe.
Or perhaps he discovers that the de-
junner has gone ont with the key to
the forshet and won't be back till dark.
Who's 'he, anyhow"
"He' is the carson, = expounded Mrs.
| Spoopendyke. He"
II didn't know but what it was old
man Gar himself by the way you or
dered him around, snorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. Has he got sister
to take my orders?n
carson, means waiter, dear, con-
tinued Mrs. Spoependykc. plaeidly.
Now, you know what cafe is, don't
you? What do you generally drink at
breakfastP''
Il generally drink in heap of dod-
gasted nonsense, I" proclaimed Mr..
Spoopendyke when the family is
in good working order and the, gearing
well oiled eontriYe to slake my thirst
on liquid idiocy."
THAT'S wrong, " smiled Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. - -
Il know it, " retorted Mr.. ,Spoopen-
dyke, grimly, ''but it is the best can
get, and can't help it. Go ahead
with your drum corps, now. When he
brings up the distempered mind, what
do you say thenP"
''Cafe is Coffee saidsMrs Spoopen-
dyke, with a loss of her head. s.And
when / say porter moy 10 cafe, /
That's q queer mixture" unused
Mr.. Spoopendyke. you can have
yours that way, if you prefer il, but
I'll paralyze him with porter carson
me lie cafe. think I'd rather have the
porter mix the waiter in mine, than
take 1t the other way.
II don't know,f murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke. Il don't think the
system saws anything about that. It
only speaks of the carson portering
luS CoueS, amt III uOb SuIc Iudb luO i
porter would come up at all. Now,
dear, do you know what the first ex-
preston used means2"
''Do you mean that Knockout be- /
tween the dejunncr and the forshet2 / |
suppose it has something to do with /
the police hasn't it? When the porter
and the carson begin to stir each other /
into the coffee, the authorities come in
and we have the inquest for breakfast
81 didn't think you would guess the
breakfastip exclaimed Mrs. Spoopen-
iyke, elapping her hands. s'You came
Very near it. 1t means breakfast with
. forkr, s y
1T docs, does itP' roared Mr.. Spoop-
sndyke, not exactly elated with the
facility with which he had mastered
The conundrum. s.You have progressed
10 point when you know enough not
to. eat your grub with your fingers!
Now. perhaps, you will take hold Of
;ome other language and rope in q
knifel S'pose pnlgoing to adodgasted.
country where the man don't know +
enough to bring in the chop-sticks
he yiands? Think I'm going tosplit my
.eeth bowling around for tho. things
hat come ready-made at home? That
FOUR idea of going to Europe? Want
ne to pack up my peace of mind and
20 where they eat soup with
heir thumbs9 Oh, you know il
I'll. he howled, suddenly remcm-
oering that his wife was wholly re-
ponsible for the state OF affairs
tbroad.
You've got i'll All you5 want now
5 plug hat with a feather In 1t, and
mistake in the time tables to be o
lodgasted guide-bookl Porter me le
garson! Ell! Thought didn't know
my French, suppose! Well, that's r.
where you're off I've heard the frogs
ing myself!n and with this nnanswer-.
Ible argument in favor OF his French |
Mr.. Spoopendyke tumbled Il
nto bed and slumber simultaneously.
II don't care, ruminated Mrs.
slipping the system un-
Ter the edge of the carpet IF we ever
o there I'll be ready. for I'm going to
.eep study G. and be can wade around
q Engliss Il he wants to. Carson
onner me le paint Pain means bread,
md guess that's where the prize
ghters get their idea OF calling below In
be belt the bread-basket 10
The Mississippi Pilot. :
The steamer left Vicksburg about 10 Ia
''clock at night, and it was night as iw
lark as the inside Of tar kettle. AZ tN
er We were vel under way I went up y
nto tho pilot h0use to see some fine B
york. According to Mark Twain the Il