davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29
A Great Problem.

-TolSe all the Kidney and Liver
Medicines,
Take all the Blood purifiers,
Take an the Rheumatic remedies
fake all the Dyspepsia and Indigestion
cures.
Take all the Aglte, Fever, and bilious
specifics,
Take all the Brain and Nerve force
TcUtUers,
Take all the Great health restorers.
In short, take all the best qualities Of
all these, aud the best
Qualities of all the best medicines In
the world, and you will find that Hop
--Bitters have the best curative qualities
and powers of all concentrated
in them, and that tifoy will cure when
any or all of these, singly or combined
Fail. A thorough trial will give positive
proof OF this.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Charts of the geographical distribu-
ton of the lightning strokes for 1882
and 1888, prepared for our fire reports,
says the Insurance Chronicle, show that
they are chiefly confined TO that part of
the country situated north of the Ohio
River and east of the Missouri River
In both years 50 per cent. of all the
strokes occurred within this area In
the &outhern States lightning seems to
be comparatively rare, and seldom oc-
ours outside of three States Texas,
Louisiana and Georgia. There seems
to be two principal centers of electric
disturbance, from the fire underwriter's
standpoint, and these are in the New
England and Northwestern States.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29
Poverty and Suffering.

|. l was dragged down with debt, poverty
end suffering for years, caused by a sick
family and large bills for doctoring.
81 was completely discouraged, until one
year ago. by the advice OF my pastor. COM
menced using Hop Bitters, and In one month
we were all well, and none OF us have seen
a sick day since, and want to say TO all
poor men, you can keep your families well
year with Hop Bitters for less than one
doctors visit will cost / know it."-A
WoRKINGMAN.
eS-None genuine without a bunch OF groeu
Hops on the white label. Shuu all the vile poi
sonous STUFF with Hop or Hops" in their
name.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

The courts in London have decided
that a man may not keep in his back
yard "A dog which banks and howls.
The judge stated that the best protec-
ton against thieves and burglars was q
small dog inside the house, which would
quickly alarm the inmates, and was in.
linitely more feared by the fraternity
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29
Hardened Liver.

Five years ago broke down with kidney
and liver complaint and rheumatism.
Since then have been unable TO be about
at all My liver became hard like wood !;
my limbs were pulled up and filed with
water.
All the best physicians agreed that moth
ing could cure me. i resolved TO try Hop
Bltters; have used seven bottles; the bard
ness has all gone from my liver, the swell
ing from my limbs, and IL has t00rlocd a
miracle in my case; otherwise 1 would have
been now in my grave. j. w. MoREY,
Buffalo, Oct. 1, 1881.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

The fashion for wedding presents
anon the truly tony is changing and
the dc mand is now for rare novelties in
beaten brass and copper, parlor orna.
ments and clocks, and antique silver
ware modelled aft " ancient patterns and
oXydized.-N. y Herald
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

81 USED Swifvs Specific on my little
daughter, who was afflicted with some
Blood Poison which had resisted all sorts
OF treatment. The Specific relieved her
permanently, and / shall use it i'm nv
practice" w. Il. BRoNTE, NJ. D.,
Cypress Ridge, Ark
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

GOOD deal OF fun is made OF girls who
are graduated from high schools, the wits
INSISTING that such young women know
nothing Of cooking. Here is tho the latest
Joke Of the kind. A. cooking.school,
the teacher said TO a college gtaluate:
please separate the IA from the ledn.0
but which Is the fat and which Is the
leanW questione the soft, cul ivatel
voice 81 the fair pupil.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Wells, Richardson 81 Co.'s Improved But
ter Color will be found to be the only oil
color that will not become rancid. lost il
and you will prove it. It will not color
the butter-milk; il gives the brightest color
OF any made, and is the strongest and
therefore the cheapest.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29
A Red Bluff (Call fancier had

"A Ned BIuH lCaI.) fancler had a
large flock of Plymouth Rock fowls.
Noticing that his broods of young chick
ems were rapidly growing smaller, he
instituted n close watch, when he found
to his surprise that large Plymouth
Rock rooster was in the habit of killing
and eating tho little chicks.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Because this or that resort has not
as many summer visitors rs usual. il
should not all be laid to the cool wealth
er. Hundreds of persons go to new
places every year, and latterly farm
houses way back in the country are
looked upon with favor, because there
one can get away from the eXactions of
fashion.-N y. Times.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

The finest private ship in the world,
William AstOr's NOurmahal, is nearly
a. large ~ some of those O.ean steam
crs which first began trans Atlantic
navigation. She is built Of steel. and
her length is 232 feet, her breadth 80
feet, aud depth ~ feet Her engine f.
l,lOJ horsepower and her supply Of
fresh water Is $500 gallons. 10 this De-
added au ice machine which will make
1Oj pounds per day. Think of such an
immense vessci devoted 20 one family.
The finish Df the saloon is in the finest
possible style. and the Nourmaba is
re ally % Fifth avenue palace anoat M
" sun.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

LYDIA e. PINKHAM's Vegetable Com
pound strengthens che stomach and Kid
neys and aids digestion. Is equally good
for both sexes,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

PAP1LLON Cough Cure cured an infant
only fow weeks old, of whooping cough
nounced II beyond recovery. II stops the
whoop and allows the breath to return.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

THE vice which never .e,cks to
young people, thoug h they are more OK.
posed to it than any other-Advice.- The
,Judgs.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

mo, GFoRCE, ! can not marry you, for
you are rich aud ] am poor, and j VIII
Have no fear, darling" he answered,
'tte summer be not holt over yet, aud VI
your appetite for ice.cream hol rs out
shall be poor mau by foll"-- Boston
Hgrf
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

a pnzEN hummiug-bird arc grouped on
some reported bonncts. Tney inpart
Lum.lik, air TO tho structure OH Cikg
His.Gyd S
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Skinny Men. "wells' Health Remover re-
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia 81.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

THE liveiiest girl this summer is Polly
Iicss.-OH CuD Derrick. But the sharp
est is her sister, Tao Ticks THROUGH H1{l
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

WHEN young girl begins 20 take an
interest IN the arrangement Of n young
mans nockiie 10 ifs an infallible sign oil
gard,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

WATER, did not see your thumb in
this soup as you were bringing ~ 10 msSss
"Yes, sir; It thumb-times happons.0
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

AN authority on bees saws that the n0a
at which bee gathers her first honey Is
sixteen days. 'Sweet sixteen" as it we're
boston Post
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29
Among Railroad Men.
Popularity and Usefulness OF Dr. X ennedy's
Favorito Remedy-A Thrilling Letter
from n Master Mechanic.

popularity and Usefulness OF DIR. Kennedy's
Favorite Remedy-A Thrilling Letter
from a Master Mechanic.
MASTER MECHANICS & sUPERINTEYpEyT's oFF1cE.
Lowell Repair Shops OF the Boston & Lowell u. L., :
LOWELL, Mass, March %, 1884 }
mr.. DdUid Kennedy. ROndout ~ Y:
DEAR SIR: think Il is due 70 Won that should
make the Following statement and make 10 yolun.
Mily ana willingly; On the 4th day OF June, 1851,
was taken with what was called paralysis OF the
bowels Inc seizure was Unexpected aud terrible.
The stomach and other organs seemed TO sympathize
MNh ana 10 have lost all power Of action. For n
long time my life was despaircd Of but at length
covered so Tar as to be able ride out BY the advice
or my physician visited Poland Springs (Nt), hoping
70 beneht from the waters But they did me no good.
Ncther were the best physicians of Lowell and BOs-
ton whom consulted. able to afford me more than
transient relief gained no strength and my APP
me TO try KENNEDY' ia VORITE re I'm r.
Dh, and although opposed to patent medicines, L
VOHITE REM ELY, I'm my opinion saved my
nie. cOnsiderit the best preparation I'm the world
ior stomach difficulties. well of the Liver and
other organs. am glad TO say &c Is In general use
among the X. X. men in this vicinity.
Yours, etc. A. j. CLIFFORD.
Mr.. Clifford is the Master Mechanic Of the Lowell
division OF the Boston Lowell Railroad. and his III
ness and recovery known 10 many who can testify
10 the facts in his letter.
Use this medicine for all diseases Of the Blood Kid
neys Liver. Stomach, Bowels and Skin. 1t may save
you or yours from pain and death.
Address, II desired, DIR. David Kennedy, Rondout
N Y
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Tx moon is a sort OF matrimonial over
seer. Shs - mistress Of the tied.-Scis-
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

A COUNTER irritant--The woman who
goes shopping, vet buys n0thing.-BoSton
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

SO Mount Mitchell. i'm Western
North Carolina IS mine containing r.
white rock which is called ode option.
Tor Che reason that, crushed into pow.
der lt can Ic u.cd for adulI Grating -ug.
ar without detection. Three hundred
barrels are shipped TO New York
weekly
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

IL you want a fine looking Face,
And a Skin rosy and clear.
Use "BEEsoN's" Sulphur Soap; all Trace
or disease viii disappear.
tS7-Sold by druggists, etc, everywhere
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Amo Perkins. az The age Of ninety.
Tour. is Treasurer Of the own Of Unity.
~ H. hthuld Hcraih
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Buchu-paiba." Quick, complete cure, all
annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseases, IL.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

ST twenty man wonders why he was
MT born sooner; a. sixty he can rot uu.
dorstlui why hs was born at ALL Whifo.
han Times.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Az advertiser in r0Hity F0ir offers "a
dream Tor sale nt GJ." Here is % good
aucc for some horse-fnucior % buy 70
night marc cheap. huntingdon Free
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29
Glenn,n Sulphur soa

TIE moon was full the other night and
painted this sky red.-N \. Graphic
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29
HAY-FEVER.

MY brother Myron
and myself were both
cured, TO all appear
ance, Of Catarrh and
Observation-Disclosures
August. Up TO this
date, Dec. q, neither
have had any return OF
these troubles. Ely's
Cream Balm was the
medicine used. GA.
BRIEL FERRIS, Spencer.
Tioga Co., N. Y.
EIy's Cream Balm
is a remedy based upon
q correct diagnosis OF
this disease aud can be
depended upon. 20 cts.
Sample bottle by mail
Owego, N. y.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

IHYrocHHOMOTYPHY is tho gentle term
applied 90 O. process or producing itn.
press ions 81 leaves and plants. That nams
would produce ara impression on an elo-
phant should 10 happen Co fall upon him.
OH CNy Derrick.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

IL you want a fine looking Facs,
And Skin rosy and clear.
Use "BEEsoN's" Sulphur Soap; all Trace
or disease will disappear.
fD-Sold by druggists, etc, everywhere
THE moon il a sort OF matrimonial over
seer. Shs - mistress OF the tied.-SctS-
sSrs.
Skinny Men. "wells' Health Remover re-
stOres health and vigor, cures Dyspepsiar>l.
A COUNTER irritant.-The woman who
goes shopping. vet buys nothing.-Boston
Post
Buchu-paiba." Quick, complete cure, all
annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseases, IL.
THE moon was full the other night and
painted This sky red..M 4 GroPhIe
Glcnn's Sulphur Soap
Communicates freshness and purity 10 the
complexion. HIPS Hair Dye, black or
brown, JOc.
=. NOTHING "strikes oil" so effectively as
lightning -LotoeH Courier.
another Swans Worm Syrup" for few
erishness, worms, constipation, tasteless. pc
"wHES the leaves begin to turn"-when
you commence TO read book.
Trough on Corns." 15c. Askforit. Com
plete cure, hard or soft coEns warts, bunions.
A BAD miss take-Marrying q high-ten-
pered girl
DYSPEPSIA, Stomach-ac Biliousness
and Kidney complaints are cured with
Papillon Blood Cure.
A BANK-TELLER bellies his name whom he
cOnceals his defalcatiOns.
Trough on Coughs. "15c. ~ Druggists. Com
plete cure Coughs, Hoarseness, Sore Throat.
INTERESTING 70 ANTIQu ARfANs.-Th
oldest cup on record: The hic.cup.
HEADACHE is Immediately relieved by
the use of Piso's Remedy for Catarrh.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

NHAr slight difference is thoro between
duck with one wink and q duck with
two. Only tue difference Of a-pinion.-
GOldsD Days,
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Rough on Coughs. 15c.. ~ Druggists. Com
plete cure Coughs, Hoarseness, Sore Throat
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

A BANK-TELLER bellies his name when h
conceals his defalcations.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Glcnn's sulphur Soap
Communicates freshness and purity 10 the
complexion. HIPS Hair Dye, black or
brown, soc.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

DYSPEPSIA, Stomach-ache, Biliousness
and Kidney complaints are cured with
Papillon Blood Cure.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

NOTHING "strikes oil" so effectively rs
lightning, -LotceH Courier.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

HEADACHE is Immediately relieved by
the use of Piso's Remedy for Catarrh.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Smother Swans Worm Syrup" for few
erishness, worms, constipation, tasteless. DC
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

INTERESTING 70 ANTIQu ARfANs.- The
Oldest cup on record: The hic.cup.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

A BAD miss take-Marrying high-ten-
pered girl.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

MASTER MECHANIC's & SUPERINTENDENT OFFIcE
LoWcH Repair Shops OF the Boston d Lowell u. Il.
LOWELL. Mnss.. March d 1884.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

"WHES the leaves begin to turn"-When
you commence TO read book.
West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-08-29

Rough on Corns." 15c. Ask for 10. Com
plete cure, hard or soft coEns, warts, bunions
The Portland daily press., 1884-05-22
What Will Burst a Gun.


In bravado young man placed the muZ-
zle of his fowling-piece under the water, and
fired the charge. The result was the burst
ing of the barrel near the breech and the
mutilatIon of his hand. Another placed
and held the muzzle of his piece square
against piece of plate window glass, and
fred the charge-powder and bullet. The
glass was shattered, so was the gun barrel.
Another instance was that of an experiment.
er who had heard that candle could be
fired from the barrel of a gun through an
inch board. He drove candle into the
muzzle of the gun, fired, and the explosion
split the barrel almost its entire length. and
did not even drive the candle from the mug
zle. Still another burst of gun barrel was
caused by the use of wet grass for a wad,
well rammed over charge of shot. But per-
haps one of the most singular exhibitions in
this line was a Colts navy revolver, which
some years ago was sent to the factory in
Hartford, Conn. This was before the adap-
tation of these pistols TO the metallic cart
ridges, and it is probable that in loading with
open powder and ball only small amount
of powder got into the chamber, and the bull
let was not propelled with sufficient force to
drive it from the muzze; at least the bullet
did not go out, but lodged. AS the shooter
did not know whether the bullet escaped or
not, he kept on firing until the barrel burst
or bulged, and when it was sawed in two
longitudinally there were found fourteen
bullets wedged one into the other.
The Portland daily press., 1884-05-22
The New Old Testament.


The revised translation of the Old Testa-
ment, which will shortly be published, may
not take the place of the authorized version
in popular estimation, but it may be fairly
expected to clear up many infelicities and
obscurities i'll that version which puzzle or
binary readers.
The unicorn" which never existed out
side the English Bible will at last be killed,
and the 'swild OK substituted in its place.
The "Book of Tasher' will be changed to
the ''Book of the Upright" Sunday school
children will be no longer troubled by the
doubtful ethics of the Israelites in 81 orrow-
ing" jewelry from the Egyptians and then
running away with it. The revised transla-
ton will rightly state that they asked for
gifts, not loans. Josephs many-colored
''coat" will be ''tunic." The celebrated
passage in the Book of Job, "Yet in my
flesh shall see Cod" will be changed to
''Yet out of my fesh," etc. Judgment also
will lay to the line, and righteousness to
the plummet," will read, 81 will make judy
ment for line, and righteousness for
plumb line." In Plsalm vii the passage
"Thou hast made him little lower than the
angels" will be, "Thou hast made him a
little lower than God" In Psalm xxxvii.
the passage ''Fret not myself in any wise to
do evil" be changed to "Fret not thyself;
it tendeth TO evil" And in Psalm xviii.
the passage 1.-THE Lord gave the word great
was the company of those that published
it," will be made to read "The Lord giveth
the word, and the women that bring glad
tidings are great host"
These are fair samples of the changes
which will be made. The aim of the trans
lators has been to reproduce the meaning of
the original as closely and accurately as pos
sible. 1t is pleasant to know that this Object
will be attained without affecting the great
dogmatic statements contained in the au-
thorized version. The revision will simply
clarity the present venerable translation.
The Portland daily press., 1884-05-22
Autocrats of Punctuation.


Punctuation is to many people an insuper
able difficulty. Like The civilized ancient
peoples, they write straight ahead, with no
stops at all. OF they throw commas about in
profusion, as if out of pepper caster. For
these puzzled persons Mr.. Paul Allardyce
has published pretty, quaint little book on
stops. Punctuation" according to Mr..
Allardyce, ''has two uses; it enables US
more easily to seize the meaning of wri-
ter" and SIT prevents ambiguity" Per-
haps logical mind might say that these
two uses are still the sane. English, as
Mr.. Allardyce remarks, having few infec-
tions, needs stops more than the classical
tongues, where the infections show the
cases. But even in English there have been
proud spirits who rebelled against stops.
A volume of poems by the author of "Ioni-
ca' was printed with gaps of different
widths, indicating the length of the pauses,
where ordinary mortals put colons and
commas. Cambridge at one time kicked
against commas and rebelled against capt.
tai letters. The calm conservatism of print
ers soon suppressed the revolt except in the
case of a few editions of the classics. Prob
ably printers will long remain the autocrats
of punctuation, even though people with
private views on the topic swear with pen
and ink on the margin of their proof sheets,
as Baudelaire was wont to do. The most
famous service of full stop recorded in his
tory is that of the period which saved the
Greek feet from being defeated by cavalry.
AS a rule, punctuation must be content with
minor duties
The Portland daily press., 1884-05-22
Who.Invented Printing.
Jersey school nIarm's Experience

who invented thu printing press%
asked Jersey City school mistress of the
big boy who sat on the end of the bench, in
the natural history class.
II don't know" said the overg-own youth
81 haven't had time to think it up, cause
our folks have been cleaning house last
week, and ma pressed me into service; but
from the way she imprinted barrel stave
on the seat of my trousers, think she did"
"That will do" freezipgly replied the
teacher. 81 think that you had better re-
main at your desk after the school is dis
missed, and study your books for a few
hours; and if you ever make another irreve-
liant answer to.one of my questions, l will
make you think that your mother was only
fooling with you when she applied the stave
to your back"
Then turning to red-headed boy " hose
gray breeches were ornamented with big
blue patch on each knee, the irate school
marin sharply remarked, swell Oscar Tur-
ner, what do you know abont the inven-
ton OF the printing press%'
Rising quickly to his feet like one possessed
of knowledge to impart, Oscar blithely MUIR
INJURED:
''Pm not on to the guy who invented the
printing business, bat you can bet your life
that Barnum is the man who discovered how
to use it, for he's got every feuce around
Jersey City covered with bills for his show
what's going tofbe here next Saturday-and
amt that white elephant picture dandy?
Ma wants me to get little one to frame for
birth day present for her preacher. She
says it's just as good as an oil painting that
costs six dollar over in New York.
Just then three or four men came walking
by the school-house distributing programmes
for the ''Great Moral Show" and with a
shout of hilarious delight the entire school.
despite the protests of the teacher, whose
threats of expulsion proved utterly useless,
rushed frantically out of the room, yelling
in concert, ''Say, mister; give us a Jumbo
book, won't your'
1t is rumored about the classic precincts
of Jersey Heights that vacancy will soon
occur among its corps of youthful educa-
tional instructors. And the school board
are now on the lookout for strong armed
man to take the place.