The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-12-13
THE NEXT CABINET.
JarphIy Visits Cleveland and Forms One for
Him Out of Solid Material.

| Him Out of Solid Material.
! Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
! tsWhy Mr.. Jarphly, how do you'd I've not
seen YOU for a fortnight Wher'ye you beenl7
exclaimed the Man with the Cold Tea Scheme,
as he met the Thin Man without Shirt Collar
| this morning.
Been to Albany, Mr.. Goshorn," replied
Jarphly, with much selfimportance.
| ''Albanyl Well l declare, you don't say
Whatd you go there forF asked Mr. Goshorn in
much surprise.
event there to see Cleveland bout his Cabi
| net responded the remarkable man from Ale
! gheny.
''You You! You Republican go to see
Grover Cleveland about his Cabinet cried
| Goshorn in undisguised astonishment.
Certainly" calmly answered Mr.. Jarphly,
| ''what is wrong about thatl'
''Why, aintyou Republican, and halnt you
been one all your lifel" asked the other indig-
| nantly.
"Of course" replied the recent visitor to
| Albany, and now is the time for every true Re
| publican to show his disinterested patriotism.
| Now is the time for him to forget party and
| faction in behalf of country. At this time the
| Republican party has an opportunity to prove
| the pure nobility of its purpose. The Democrats
! are helpless noviceS, cast by accident into the
stormy seas of national affairs, innocent of their
management What do they know about post
Offices marshalships, revenue collectors and so
] ont Nothing-absolutely nothing And is this
| a time for Republicans to allow selfish an
tipathies to guide their actions and withhold
their assistance and the valuable knowledge of
| affairs long service has given them? No, sir.
| Einphatically, no. sir. Private feelings must
stand aside. This is the year of disinterested
! affiliations 1t is season of civil-service re
form which means postofhces and things, and
every true Republican should be willing to aid
the Democratic party in conducting all national
affairs to which salary is attached
Your noble words inspire me with renewed
hopes, remarked Mr. Goshorn, with deep emo
ton IBID Mr. Cleveland coincide with your
| Perfectly. I sent in my card and was imme-
diatey ushered into his private Office, 'Jarphly,
old boy, he exclaimed, it does my eyes good to
see you. What1l you take. After we'd chatted
awhile told him I'd come to talk over his Cabi-
net appointments and patronage That's the
very thing want, he said. I'm Just dying for
some one to advise me about my Cabinet. Hen
bricks was up here the other day, and Dan Voor-
hees and friend or two Of Joe Mcdonald and
a second cousin of Schurz, but I couldn't get
them to talk a word about appointments, They
all said they'd only just come to tell me how
much they loved me. Hendricks came up to see
me personally and find out which was President
he or me; you know he gets things so mixed
Now tell me how all the folks feel in Ale
ghenyf"
''Whatd you tell himY" anxiousIy inquired Mr.
Goshorn.
81 told him that the State of Allegheny was
solid for civil service reform. That we all be-
lieved in it and would help him run the govern
ment without regard to party. This brought
tears to his eyes and he silently pressed my
hand with emotion He said he had been raised
a poor boy without the advantages of a Travelled
education, but the fondest ambition of his life
had always been to visit Allegheny and see Tom
Bayne. He confessed that he was not as fami
lar with local patriots as he would like to be-
but that there was one man whose profound
writings had always deeply impressed him, and
he asked me what thought of the appointment
of Mr. John Mckee as Secretary of State. l
told him Mr., Mckee was more of a poet and
philosopher than politician, and [ doubted if he
erature Mr. CLEVELAND then said that he had
thought of offering Cabinet appointments to Mr.
Jones and Mr. Weeks, but that those
gentlemen merited a we'll earned rest in
which he had not the heart to disturb them
He then inquired il it would be asking too much
of me to get him up Cabinet l told him GER
tainy not and offered the following: Chris L.
Magee, Secretary of State; Captain Jake Van
dergrift, Secretary Of the Treasury; Andy Full
ton, Secretary of the Interior Dominic McCaf-
frey, Secretary of War; Teemer Secretary
of the Navy; McCleary, Postmaster general,
ann Billy lIoreland Attorney general
What did he sayl'
"He was delighted He said l had removed
his last anxiety, and that if Tom Bayne had no
use for Don Camerons gum shoes he'd throw
his influence in my behalf and see how they'd fit
me-"
"Jarphly, said Mr.. Goshorn, with tears in his
eyes zone good turn deserves another, does it
notN
1T surely does, replied Mr. Jarphly.
'If you hear me tell big lie you'll believe
me, won't you2"
rely upon me-, responded Mr. Jarphly warm
ly, and the two friends embraced.