The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1884-03-27
Paralyzing the Barber.


questions he could think of, and, by the
way, what the regularly ordained bar
Der don't know about the weather, the
crops and politics would make pocket
edition that would feel lonesome in an
ordinary pocket. Saturday night, how
ever, a reporter, when taking his semi
weekly shave, overheard series of
questions which decidedly reversed the
order. 1t was in a basement barber
shop, one well known, and the shaver
and the shaved were in positions to look
up into the street.
'sWhy don't you put acarpet on your
Stairway" asked the customer.
ut would freeze fast and be spoiled
the first day. replied the barber.
f'Why don't you use ashes, then?"
''Ashes would track the floor up"
''Then use salt. y
sThat wouldn't pay. 1t wouldn't
thaw the ice off till noon, and by that
time the sun gets around this way and
the ice disappears. .
''What makes you have such queer
paper on the ceiling for your customers
to look at? Why the stars and moons
and all those queer designs make my
| head dizzy. | fancy some people who
have stared at them for a half hour go
out and fancy they have had an attack
of the ''jim jams.
Don't the paper suit you, sirP''
modestly queried the astonished barber.
'.Suits me well enough, but it might
not some people. .
You're next," yelled out the barber
to youth who had just come out of
the bathroom.
'sWhat is he next for?n asked the in
terrogation point in the chair.
''That's our rule said the barber.
s'Queer rule-all right, though, sup
pose," remarked the customer, in an
| undertone.
.'What do you call a fair days work
| for a barber? How many men can
| barber shave in day?n
That depends"
stDepends on what?"
''Why the kind of barber he is. a
fast man might shave fifty or sixty men
in a day"
mot more than that
''Not many more, guess, answered
the petriied barber.
'.Poor business. isn't it? Why don't
you get out of it?'
Il cant't get out of it very well.
''Why can't you? Don't you know
any other business?"
mo"
"Now there is one thing 1 can't un-
derstand,' began the man in the chair,
''and that is why you BARRIERS always
comb mans hair up at the sides and
slick it down so that he looks like two
cent chrome. Why don't you comb it
the way a man combs it himself
why, / don't know how they comb
it themselves" protested the barber.
"Then why don't you comb every
mans hair diferentP You fix every
mans hair Just so, and man who has
any shame at all has to 60 to the glass
and fix it over himself. !"
"We never complain of that said
the barber, mildly.
so, but don't youa Don't you look
cross enough to eat man when he
does thatP Don't deny it.
Il don't think | do"
80, yes you do. Now, when | get
up and take down all those bangs and
ruffies and spit curls you have fixed,
and all those little devices to cover the
bald spot.you will scowl and win want
to kick the boy for brushing off my
coat. Say!"
''What is it?n answered the barber
''What are you BARRIERS in such con
sternation about my head for?'
81 didn't know they were.
We'll, they are. Every time come
in here to get shaved they run theil
fingers through my hair and ask me il
I wouldn't ike to have shampoo
Welt, when l say no, they take theil
thumb nail, dig it along my scalp, anC
after they have taken off some of thc
skin they show it to me and tell me m,
head is in fearful condition and to lool
out for 'sealdhead.' What do they dC
that forP''
} because there is money in it fol
them, / suppose, y mildly replied tn
barber.
sHow much do you get out of itP''
s'Why, that depends.
ION what?n
ssWhy, what kind OF q contract the,
make with their employer. Most o
them charge thirty cents and keep tel
for themselves
e.Do YOU know what am going to d
! the next time barber tries that on me?'
, ssNo."
: ..Well, / am going to wrestle wit
} him and hang his hide on the fence"
s'Have some bay rum?" queried th
: barber.
/ mo, strictly temperate. !"
t ssSea foampn
"Not any, thank you; no meerschaur
/ in mine. =
5 '.Borax on your face?''
: "How did it come thereP'
S 'Tmean do you want some on to kee
!, the skin smooth?'
: why, is my skin rough?'
d "Not particularly. Do you Vi
r chalk?"
y mo, but If you will tell me ho
e much it all is I'll chalk up. :.
n .It's only ten cents, but ought
d charge YOU ten dollars. =
: .'Why?''
''For answering your questions. "
"How much would you give me
= answer your questions9 The next tin
\ I come In YOU ask the questions. Co