davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
The Detective Parrot.

An exciting scene took place the
other day at Henry Jac1zson's shoe
stose, on Columbia avenue, which near
ly resulted in the arrest of an Innocent
man. The cause of the trouble was
this: jackson has an educated parrot
which he loves dearly. Henry is gen
orally cobbling in the back room, and
the parrot has been taught to scream
when customers enter. Mrs. jackson
had laid her pocketbook on the counter
and run upstairs to hush the crying Of
her bouncing boy. Remembering
where her pocketbook was she returned
and got ii. just then acustomer came
in. He knocked and raped for some
time, but no n coming in he turned
to leave, when the parrot shrieked:
Henry - customer - pocketbook
gone
jackson, hearing this. nearly broke
his neck in hurrying into the store,
dropping his lapstone IN his foot. He
shouted in the most violent manner:
What do you mean, anyhow, by
trying to run OF with my pocket
book7 The Gu stomer, struck dumb
with Henry's remark, Immediately
whirled around and asked what he
meant.
II mean Just what / say. You took
my poeketbook, and if you don't give
1t to me I'll call an officer
IT haven't seen d pocketbook for a
month" said the stranger, land I
won't stand any such in ult.o Where's
upon the parrot spoke up: bad
man-dude.'
Both men had worked their nerves
up to a high state of excitement, and
it looked very much as though there
would be a set.te. ssPauline," the par
rot, was overioyed, and shouted: aPo.
licei poliee!'
!. Oh. blame you, shut upl' cried the
thoroughly infuriated customer. Both
men stood and stared at each other for
q moment, then burst out into q hearty
laugh and shock hands. The customer
then purchased a pair of .calf Eng
lish Balls" number. ten.-PhiLadeJphia
Times.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
He saved Them.

He was a young mar with a forty
dollar suit of clothes on, and he had
made arrangements to take his girl
and her mother down to Put-in-Bay.
He left them on the boat while he ran
uptown to get some cigars, and scarcely
had he disappeared when a man with
a Ratchet face and a red goatee APP
preached the ladies and inquired of the
mother
"Going down to the Bay?"
Eyes, sir"
Never seasick in a gale, ehP"
Gale Is it going to blowP" she
asked in alarm.
Flag is up, and that means wind,
you know? Madame, the-the young
man who just left here is-you know
that is, he loves your charming
daughter"
He waits upon her, sir"
"Ah exactly. If you want him
for q son-in-law don't you go on this
tripp
"Sir"
"Tm telling you honest, madame.
Your daughter will be. seasick first.
She will call for a lemon and some
pickles, and she will sigh and groan,
and her hair will come down, and her
bows skew around, and in half an hour
you wont know her. She'll be a faded
blossom-a crushed flower. The
young man won't know whether it is
his darling or a bundle of rumpled
muslin"
aDear me but I'm alarmediH
"And then you'll begin to hate the
thought of baked potatoes and rib
roasts, and ten minutes later you'll
thump down on a sofa and clutch and
cling and groan and lament"
But George will be kind to u.s.
Madame, George viii have plenty
of business on hand. Chaps with his
set Of ears and full face are apt to
be very sick. Before he IAN get a
lemon for Melvina and a pickle for
you he'll flop down and call himself
names and wonder how he was ever
struck on Melvina or why he ever
wanted you for a motherin-law.
He'll heaye up.and he'll heave down,
and he'll wish you and Melvina in
Halifax and himself in Mexico, and
the upshot will be no wedding-no
cards-no cottage with a clematis trail
ing over the front door: Madame, /
am a stranger to you, but warn you
from a hea t filed with the milk of
human kindness. The only woman I
ever Lowell went with me on a seasick
excursion. My love was turned to gall,
and I gayeher the shake"
He then left. In three minutes
mother and daughter were on the
wharf. In three moro they were two
blocks away, and as they met George
and turned him back his c~ountenance
had the color of boiler iron and his
voice betrayed q cruel determination
IS he saids
I'll see You on the car, and then
I'll find and lick that man If he weighs
dfkeen tons 9-Fres Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
VORrS OF WISDOM.

The nature of bal news infects the
teller.
Affection, like the iron smith, shapes
as it strikes. .
Hope is the brightest star in the
armament of youth.
1t is wisdom to think, and folly to
sit without thinking.
The weakest kid of fruit drops
earliest to the groulM.
TO indulge a consciousness OF good
ness is the way to lose it.
No man was ever so much deceived
by another as by himself.
However things may seem, no evil
thing is a success, and NJ good thing
is a failure.
A friend cannot be known in pros
perity, and an enemy cannot be hid in
adversely.
Speaking much is a sign of vanity,
for he that is lavish in words is a mig
gard indeed.
Silence never shows itself to so
great an advantage IS when it is made
the reply to calumny and defamation.
A firm faith is the best divinity; a
good life the'best philosophy; a clear
conscience the best law; honesty the
best policy, and temperance the best
physic.
1t may be remarked, for the COM
fort of honest poverty, that avarice
reigns most in those who have but few
good qualities to recommend them.
This is a weed that will grow only in
barren soil.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
Dirt Eaters Of the Amazon.

"You say they are dirt eaters?"
"Yes, sir, and I mean it in its literal
sense. You know the French tray
eler, Macro.x, who explored the sources
of the river Amazon, founl a tribe of
Indians so Internally lazy that, having
eaten up all the four-footed animals in
their reach, including parrots and
monkeys, snakes and creeping things,
were reduced to living solely on bugs
and insects. These Ottomacs are
fully as bad. They live upon mud
balls when the river is high and fish
ing ceases. It is a sort of unctuous
clay of a peculiar kind, which he finds
upon banks of streams. It is soft to
the touch. like putty. In it's natural
state it is of a yellowish-gray color,
but when hardened before the fire it
assumes 3 tinga of red, owing to the
oxide of iron that it contains"
els it nourishing?'
No in the least. 1t merely fills
up-produce; a safety and satisfies
the pangs of hunger. l have been
told by chemists and medical men who
have analysed the little balls into
which they roll it to store away that it
contained nothing n~ourishing, simply
slick and aumina, with three OF four
per cent. of lime. He calls these balls
poya, and stores then up into little
pyramids, Just as cannon balls are
piled in a fort. Each ball is three or
four inches in diameter. When
hungry, he takes a ball and softens it
by wetting, and eats about a pound a
day. There is something in the dirt
eat ng habit which produces a sort of
craving for it. / do not think that
the habit is confined exclusively to the
Ottomacs, but believe that it is gener-
ally known among the Indians of the
tropics.-CSncinRati Enquirer.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
Household Hints

If a little salad oil is mixed with
mustard for the table, it is greatly i'm
proved.
Ceilings that have been smoked by a
kerosene lamp should be washed Off
with soda water.
If you wish to produce a glue that
will resi1t water, boil one poundof glue
in two quarts of skinned milk.
To prevent sausages from bursting
when cooking, never make a hole in
them with a fork while turning them.
If your white-handled knives have
become yellow, they can be made white
again by rubbing with sandpaper. 1t
must be thoroughly and vigorously
done.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
How to Put ON q Postage Stamp.

At the postofice department the
other day, says a Washington CORE
spondent, ! noticed an employee busy
afixing stamps to envelopes. Every
time he moistened the right hand cor
ner of the envelope and then placed
the stamp upon it. I asked hin if
there was any advantage in werting
the envelope instead of the stamp. and
he said: "You notice that I moisten
the envelope first; well, I do that be-
causei il is the right way. It is impos-
sible to moisten a stamp with the
tongue unless a small proportion of
the gum adheres to it. Now. this
gum is by no means injurious, but the
Department do not advertise it as a
health food; Sc the only way left is the
right way, and that is to moisten the
envelope frst.n
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
OyerwOrked.

"My gracious, old fellow sail the
Slice OF Lemon Peel to the Oyster,
"you look mighty pale"
"Pale.." exclaimed the other, "and
why wouldn't |? I've been up, night
after night, attending church s~ocials,
church choir oyster suppers and SO on,
and I'm about played out. Me and two
more were engaged to furnish the
steWs at the Blim street Metho list two
nights ago; next evening the Yves
leyan choir borrowed me for their
blowout. All the work came on my
shoulders, and asked myself, as /
wandered about the stew, looking for
a chum: 'Oh, Solitude, where art thy
charmsg' l tell you, old Slice, it was
mighty lonesome swimming around il
that great %tureen."
"Must have been," the other agreed,
"but you'll get a rest now, eh?"
"Rest? Not much,'' answered the
Oyster, sitting dowl exhausted. "I've
got to play a lone hand at the Congre-
gational school-teachers' oyster supper
tonight. They borrowed me for the
occasion"
"It's stew bad said the Lemon,
sympathizingly: "but you are no
worse off than / am. /, all alone, fur
nished lemonade for SOS scholars at
the Sunday-sehool picnic two weeks
ago, and since that I've done duty in
two saloons, and 1 reckon I've made
fully 100 lemonades."
"My goodness, old man, you're as
badly off as I am" said the. Oyster.
Its a lemoncholy business, amt it,"
"You bet,' replied the Slice, shut
| must be off and sour up for another
gallon of lemonade; tra-la."
"By-by."
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23

it les upon the butter-Worker in mum
berless small streams. The watering
potts held in the left hand and the but
ter worked with the right. When the
water flows from tbs mass without
be ing discoloredt the process of washing
is completed. It is claimed by advo-
Gates of this process that the water
falling in a spray over the whole sur
face of the butter. cools it and gives
the proper degree of hardness for tle
working Of the lever.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
Sublime Cheek

The other day, during a rainstorm,
Colonel Monroe met a chap on the
street who accosted him with:
Il say, old fellow, give US a match"
The colonel went down in his pocket
and produced three matches, whichthe
man took with profuse thanks. The
colonel then turned to go away, and
had gone a few feet when the man
again hallooed to him.
q say, see here, my 'steemed
friend:"
"Well," said the colonel, what do
you want?"
"My 'steemed friend" said the other,
az say (hic) I am all wet, you know,
now just raise your leg and let me
scratch this match on it."-K,ngston
Freeman.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
Hints I'M Ruteer-NEakfmg.


Experienced butter-makers are al
ways ~cautioning amateurs against per-
hitting the hands to come in con act
with butter during the process of
working it. Now as butter can be
more expeditiously worked with the
human hands than with the ordinary
Wooden-paddle, many butter-makers
disregard this caution, especial y as
they do not understand the nature of
The objections to the practice.
u. II. BoWditch, birmingham, Mass,
IA answer to the query why the hui
man hand Injuries the butter. stated his
reasons before q meeting Of the Frank
lia County institute. They were
briefly as follows: "There are innu-
merable pores in the skin which throw
Dff the wastes Of the system. The
cleaner the hands the less obstruction
To- thisprocess, and the easier the refuse
matter Of the body, or the insensible
perspiratiUns, are disposed. All such
matter i~njuriously affect the purity of
The butter, to say nothing Of the lief
fects DE the heat contained Id the hand
as applied to bntter.'s In addition to
these objections he might also have
"a led the greater danger Of injuring
the grain Of the butter by manipula-
tion.
When the gram De butter IS injured
the butter spreads like grease and the
moe At resembles grease the more is
the grain injured. Good butter that
has d perfect grain will not stick to
the knife that cuts IL. lit IL, of cou Sc,
important that the grain should net be
spoiled BY oYerWorking. Wash out
the butter1nilk with as little working
as possible, and avoid grinding butter
down against the tray.
Many butter-makers do not attempt
to work out all the bnttermilk at one
time, and the majority 0f them wash
the butter with fresh spring water.
Mr.. B0Wditeb uses a bntter-wo ker,
and finally to get out all the moisture
employs large sponges, with which he
roslsup the butter after it has been
rolled ont It'd the worker, continually
hopping the fiattened butter. The
Ep0nges are kept in ice-water. He
rolls the butter three or four times,
according to Judgment. Half an
ounce of salt Is used to The pound
of butter. He keeps the butter
covered to prevent the escapesof the
asoina; churns enc day, putting the
butter into balls or Jumps the nextIay
aud gains fancy prices for the product
s~4 II nrfSNvE TIL n1m44k ssnE& s4r14
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
What struck Him.

$50 you've been to the city," said
one c%ountryman to another.
"Yes, 1 took her in"
pretty big thing?"
"You bet"
"Lots of people, lots of houses, lots
of rush and hurry and wagons and
teams and things?'
slots of 'em."
"What struck you first after you
had got Strengthened out for your
sightseeing"
"Oh, nothing, only a brick a mason
let fall off a house while I was loafing
around below seeing how city folks do
their work"
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
FARM AND HOUSEHOLD.
Experiment i'm Growing Corn.


An experiment in corn planting by
the Iowa college last year, in three
separate paintings, all put in the same
day MAY 81, each plat being 100
square yards, resulted as follows: The
plat in which the hills were three feet
len inches b. tWelye inches apart, with
one stalk in a hill, produced at the
rate of G9.06 bushels per acre; the
plat planted three feet ten inches by
twenty in@hes apart in the hills, and
two stalks to a hill, produced al the
safe of tifty-seYen bushels to the acre;
and the third plat, planted three feet
ten Inches ca IA way, with four stalks
to the hill, produced only at the rate of
fifty bushels to the acre. This is an
important fact to know. The expert
ment was conducted with the utiI ost
care for the express purpose of de-
Gliding a question which has always
given rise to a great d al of discus
sion, a ike as to the proper dist noes
between the hills and the rows, as
well as the number of stalks in a hill.
Twelve inches distance between the
hills would be almost equal to four
grains in a hill at three feet ten
inches apart, and practically amounts
to drilling, which of course would de-
mand additional labor in removing the
weeds and cultivating the soil between
the hills with the hand hoe, as the
crop could be narrowed only one way.
Whether the extra bushels would pay
the additional cost Of labor we do not
pretend to answer, though the estab-
lished b lief is that it will not, AMI
that is the reason why SO few farm
ers adopt the drilling system.-Ger-
mGRt0Hn.T eLeQ7NDh,
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
REESE Culture.

The following in regard to ro5e cul
ture is condensed from the practices
Of a successful rose grower: The rose
delights in a deep loan, well dra ned
and MANFRED, although it may be seen
growing thriftily in soils widely dis
similar. One should not use SO adj
hes:ye a soil for a tea or bourbon rosa
as for more ordinary kinds. It is
always better to modify the soil ac-
cording TO the variety of rose. As a
general rule roses should be planted in
masses, in situations fully exposed to
the sun, and where they will produce
a fine effect. The rose will be in it's
prime the third or fourth wear after
painting, after which it will not flower
SO well. A new place should then be
prepared for a new planting. Inplant-
ing always select young and healthy
plants old plants SHOULD be rejected.
Mulching will be found to be
Indispensable in summer. 1t pre-
vents moisture from evaporating
too rapidly by the formation
of a stratum of air in repose. keeping
the soil cool and in proper condition
about the roots. If the soil is not
deep watering will be necessary in
warm, dry weather. This should be
done thoroughly, rather thanfreIuent-
Iy. Deep culture should be given,
however, for it is the deeper series of
ibers situated in a proper medium
that sustains a succession of flowers in
spite OF heat and drought. These
beautiful flowers amply repay any at
tention given them, and although in
some senses they are independent of
careful culture, producing flowers how
ever much they may be neglected, yet
it Is astonishing what a difference may
be produced in them bya Well-directed
AMI tasteful application OF human
skill. Next to soil and situation prun-
Ing is Of most Importance. 1t re-
1uires an intimate knowledge Of each
class of roses to enable one to prune
them properly. AS a general rule
most roses will flower better il pruned
closely in spring. The moss and ye,-
low roses should not be pruned 50 So
verely.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
HUMOROUS SKETCHES.
Engaged.

A travelling man, noticing a pretty
girl alone in the car, went over in her
direction, and smilingly asked:
els this seat engaged, miss?"
"No, sir, but I am, and he is going
to get on at the next station"
Oh-ah-indeed-thanks-b par
don and he picked up his feet, after
stumbling over them, and went into
the smoking-car to be alone awhile
Merchant-TTageleT.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23
Quaint Fnitauh.

A friend just returned from Eng.
land, says the Buffalo Commercial,
sends US the following quaint epitaph,
which he copied from a tombstone ID
q c~hurchyard at Sutton, in Surrey:
My Sledge and Hammer lie declined.
My Bellows TOO have 5ost their wind:
My fire Extinct, my Forge L eclyed
And in the dust my Wise is laid
My Goals are spent, my Iron gone,
My Nsils are drove, my work ID done
My hre-dried corpse here lies at
My soul, smoke-like, scars to be bIest.
The Opelousas courier., 1884-02-23

Utica is haveincandescent electric
lights, 1,000of them by October 20. and
2.200 more before Thanksgiving.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-08-14

The State Ledger, which has done
good deal of Advertising and puff
ing for the New York Sun in times
past. rolling its utterances about
Tilden as a sweet morsel under its
tongue, and regarding it as the true
exponent of the Northern Democra-
cy, now says: "The Sun is totally
unreliable, and we regret to see it SO
freely patronized by the people OF
the South" And all this because
the Ledger and the Sun do not see
Cleveland through the same glasses.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-08-14

The platform Of the students in
the Mississippi Agricultural Col
lege is better one than either
Chicago No. l or Chicago No. 2
1t is this in brief: eve believe
in more and thorough cultivation
That the soil must be fed as well
as the owner. That crops should
make the farm and farmers rich
Deep blowing and enough of it
Labor-saving agricultural nipple.
ments. We believe in good fences,
good barns, good orchards, good gar.
dens and home raised corn and meat.
We believe in grading our herd and
thoroughbred stock. That the best
fertilizer is of no use without in
dustry, enterprise and intelligence.
We believe in diversified industry
and raising of early fruits and vege-
tables. We believe that every farmer
should own q good farm"
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-08-14
So Easy.

As the Democratic party is anti-Prohi-
bition, how can the Clarion consistently
advocate Prohibition and Democracy
Vieksbarg Post.
That's so easy, You see that
Democracy means a government by
the people, and il the people tire OF
the evils resulting from the liquor
traffic, they may put it down and
have the good influence of the Clar-
ion to help them do it. Nothing
un Democratic in either local OPP
tion, general option or National OPP
tion. The people must rule and the
Clarion must be allowed to fight on
the side of the people.-Corfnth
Herald.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-08-14
Butler Heard From.

BOsroS, Aug. 6.-The following
letter is self explanatory:
BosroN, Aug.-To Hon. Charles
A Dana, Editor New York Sun, New
York city: Dear Sir-As a means
of reaching more qucrists than !
can do in any other way, / write you
this note for such use as you choose
to make of it:
/ do intend to stand by the nomi-
nations Of the Greenback and La
boringmen and the Anti.Monopo-
lists. and hope that every body will
vote for me, who thinks that is tie
best way to do. ! will give the rea
sons for my action, which are con-
trolling, to the public as soon as /
can have the benefit of Mr.. Cleve-
lands letter OF acceptance, in order
that where I disagee with him I may
do him no injustice.
Very truly your friend and servant,
BENZ. +. BUrLER.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-08-14

REPORT OF THE sUP'T OF EDUCATION.
To the Mayor and Aldermen of the City Of
Brookhavsn:
GENTLEMEN-In pursuance of the re-
quirements of law, / beg leave to submit
to your Honorable Body my annual re-
port as County Superintendent of Educa-
ton.
There have been established FIVE
(5) schools in the city of Br0Okhayen for
the current scholastic year.
:. OF this number four have finished their
first month at an average cost to each
school of the sum of $685.. Aggregating
for the four schools the total sum Of
$255. 80 for first month.
Add to this sum the estimated cost of
maintaining, the 5th school for first
month, 500, and we have the sum of
$500 as the amQunt necessary to run
the schools in the corporation for the
first month. '.e
We can safely assume that no month
will fall short of this sum and hence we
have as the amount necessary to run the
schools four months the sum of S12O1. 90.
In addition to this amount l have is
sued pay certificates to the Petersburg
School, in the county of Lincoln. for
children who attended that school from
the corporation of Brookhaven for the
four months just ended The aggregate sum
Of $152.O0. Add to this the salary of the
County superintendent, 5000, and We
have as the sum necessary 10 run the es-
tabiished schools four months, $685.. 20,
The Treasurer reports to me that he
has received on account of the school
fund Of the year the following amounts.
viz: Bro0khaven's pro rata share Of
January distribution from the State,
$33993. To this may be added tho est.
mated pro rata share of July distribution.
$S5.77. Total, $125.7O.
Deduct the above sum Of $425. 10 from
The above sum necessary to run the
schools four months, &C., to wit: 1888 90.
and we have $957 .53, amount necessary
to be raised by taxation in order TO ran
the established schools four months. nav
the certificates issued to Petersburg
school and pay the salary Of the Counts.
Superintendent.
1t would be necessary to raise the adflis
tional sum of $255.20 in order to run the
the schools for an additional month,
which, added to the above sum Of S967 so.
would give rs the amount necessary to be
raised by taxation in addition to funds
received and receivable from other sourc-
es IN order TO maintain all the schools In
the city for the period Of five (5) month";
and pay the sa.ary Of the County Super-
intendent. Respectfully submitted,
w. r. SPENcKR,
Co. Snp't.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-08-14

Many of our readers will be pain
ed to learn of the death of Col.
Preston Brent, which occurred at
his residence in Pike county on
Tuesday last. During the war he
was Colonel of the 3Sth Mississippi
Regiment and made q gallant sol
dier. During the siege of Vicks-
burg he received a wound In the
head from which he never wholly
recovered, and which no doubt
hastened his death. Col. Brent was
a brother-in- law OF Justice W. p.
Baggett, of this place.