davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02
Beans.

1t will be q shock to Bostoniaus to
learn that beans are not q vegetable.
This important fact has been estab-
lished by decision of the Secretary OF
the Treasury, who. by long study Of
the tariff, has become an expert in bot
any as well as in dozen other sciences.
Some time ago Philadelphia firm
imported from Europe q quantity OF
beans, upon which the Custom house
LEVIED a duty of twenty per cent. ad
valorem. An appeal being made to the
rotary of the Treasury. on the
ground that beans are seeds. it was re-
jected, and an elaborate opinion, show
ing the most determined hostility to
beans, was prepared by the department.
In this opinion the Secretary not only
denies that beans are seeds, on the
ground that they are eaten, but he goes
further and denies that beans are a
vegetable. A seed. according to the
Secretary, is something "used either
for planting or sowing in gardens. "
Now the beans imported by the appel
lants were designed primarily to be
eaten, and hence d d not come within
the Secretary's definitions of seeds.
Again, the secretary holds that beans
are not vegetables. since the bean is
distinc lively the seed of vegetable
known as the bean plant. Inasmuch,
therefore, as the bean is neither a veg
etable nor seed, it deserves to be con-
demned to pay duty when brought into
this country, and accordingly the -ecre-
tary decided that the duty of twenty
per cent. ad valorem. of which the APP
pelants complained. was Justly and
properly imposed
Now that we know that beans are
neither vegetable nor seeds, the ques-
ton naturally arises. What are they?
Are they Insects, or minerals, or works
of art, or foreign books? The Phila-
d lphia importers might have claimed
that beans are phil sophical writings,
basing that claim on the fact that phIlo-
sophical writings are greatly beloved
by Bostonians, and that the same de-
scription applies to beans. Or it mi sht
be possible to class b, ans as Monday
lectures. on the ground that they tend
to produce colo and irr,tability. Or
they might be regarded as reptiles,
since, ike tn ties, they are often made
into soup. In ia t, an ingenious Secre-
tary might find dozen classes in any
one of which ne might place beans, but.
unfortunately, he has done nothing of
the kind.
Having simply decided that beans are
neither seeds nor vege ables, the Secre-
tary has lie us in state of complete
uncertainty as to what they are. In
these circumstances beans will become
more popular than ever with Boston
ians. s.nce they will assume vague in
determInate character which will en-.
dear them to all lovers of philosophy.
On the other hand, no self respecting
man will think of eating them, since he
will not care to lay him elf open to the
charge of eating he knows not what. 1t
would, OF course, be blaSphemous to
call in question the accu acy of the Sec
retary's decision, but it must be con-
fessed that to find that beans are nei-
Their seeds nor ves etablcs rather startles
those who hitherto put confidence in the
assertions OF scientific people and mar
ket gardeners.-N. y. Times.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02
WIT AND WISDOM.

Confidence is like an umbrella.
Once lost it is lost forevpr..
1t Is somewhat pa adoxical that the
man who does the ie ,st talking in Con-
gress is called the Speaker.--Judge.
We must, if we are wise, make
some calculations in our life, and say
what we can spend now, and W. at we
shall keep for the iuture.-CAicago
Jou,,saI
"A poet sends contribution entitled
'.Why do / liver' 1t is because he
sends his contributions to this Office in
stead of bringing them in person
Evansville argus. ;
The everyday cares and duties which
men call d-udgery, are the weights and
ceunterpoises of the clock of time, Civ
ing its pendulum a true vibration and
its hands regular motion. -Longje[
toD.
Nature is very much like q shift
less child who, the more he is helped
the more he looks for it. The more
medicine man takes the more he will
have to take, whether it be anodyne.
tonic or alternative.
There is at least one spot on thia
fair earth where the baseball fiend can
not get in his work. On a vacant lot
near Covington, KY, is pasted this
sign: mo plane bace-Bol ON theas
Primaces. "-CAicago Herald.
THE question of the age is deter
mined not merely by years but by men,
tai vigor." This is probably the reason
a woman born the same year as q man
is so much younger tnan he is a ter they
reach forty years.-DetroI Free Press.
"A man at the restaurant the other
day asked one of the girls, as she was
taking the pie order, q question. As
she did not reply, he exclaimed sngrily:
why don't you answer mep" 20, she
replied, I'VE never speak as we pass
pie. '-Chicego Herald.
AT Lake Erie pleasure resort last
summer q certain small party of young
ladies were out for q sail The yacht
vas managed by q handsome young
boatman, who unconsciously made .
mash on the jolly girls. shall l hug
the shore?" asked the sailor. "Well-
yes-if that's the best you can do" was
the reply of one Of the girls-THs
Hooster.
Hello. old man," said q gentle
man on Chestnut Street this morning to
a fir end: whats that you've got under
your coat?" That" was the sad re-
ply, rs he brought it forth. sis my
wifos little pug dog" "What are you
going to do with him? Take him some
where and drown him?' II wish I
might" earnestly responded the gen
tlelnan. fet,hing sigh. mo. l am not
goiag.to drown him. My wife is hav-
ing new spring suit made to harmon
ize with Beauty, as she Is pleased 10 call
the d sgusting little brute. and | am on
my way to dry goods store to match
him tor half yard more of material"
Philadelphia Coll.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02
The Thin Man Moves.

care you moving to-dayp asked the
man with the cold-tea scheme.
mo, moved last night" replied the
thin man without shirt-collar.
H Oh rent?''
"High rent"
Couldn't agree with your landlord
about the rent, hey?"
I'VE couldn't agree"
$50 you noved?"
81 moved"
THAT'S it, that's Just it, said the
cold-tea man. emphatically. "Extor-
tionate rent ruins hundreds of homes.
a man don't like to live in hog-pen,
vet what can he do about it? He don't
| Ike to place his family in q few dingy
rooms, but how can he help it? tell
you eight or ten dollars month on
rent counts up"
so it does" indorses the thin man.
ayes, sir; rapacious landlords break
up MANY households" continued the
cold-.ea man. "Bow can q man of
limited income afford to buy real estate
in rent and then have nothing to show
for it? He can't do it, sir. He has to
accommodate himself to circumstances
and house his family in a place he is
ashamed Of. High rents are the great
drawback to prosperity. When a man
has paid his rent on beer. penuckle,
tobies, pool, cigars, baseball matches
and cock-fghts, what has he left?
\ othing' sir, absolutely nothing. His
family must suffer. Two cocktails arc
a quarter. Set-'em-up-an-'round. sew
enty-iive cents There's dollar plumb
gone out of sight 10 a minute. Say it
only occurs once every other day. That
knocks the spots out of fifteen dollars
month. j tell you rents are to high.
Take few pools and lose five o. ten
dollars week on them, and you can
easily see where exorbitant rents keep a
man poor. Why, man can punch half
a months rent into . billiard-table in
one night. they are up so. When did
you say you moved?"
"l-ast night, replied the thin man.
what, in the nighttime"
"Yes. | wanted to avoid the dust on
my furniture"
chow much did your landlord raise
you?'
He didn raise me-"
"Why, what was the difference be
tween YOU, then?"
ut was about the back rent" re-
piled the thin man.-Ratstsrgh Chron
icie.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02
OUR FOOLISH WISDOM.

often and often doth He hear. amid
The many opportunities wherevith we
p n. ~ pm e: Goa, for
Tim - Shosld svs 6pyeoa our u.sful
~ SsEt 3A
So ss' - 3 ss ss'S on;
When hand and brain and heart no more are
And whes our fsseare wearyof the race;
We must see de soxink OF the seed.
Must look on Others q they toll aud spin,
Must see the earnest 1<rife, tae noble deed,
For the worlds good, but Ake no part there
in.
Then one day. through a lesson sadly sweet,
Our eycs are opened. and -tis ours to see
How the a guide may be the weariest feet;
How true help the helpless hands may be.
-wsschins some dear fsce radiant with the
= Homfthe great,ight within, at last we catch
6limpees of stars SHINE through the heavy
night, EE
And read life's deeper meanings while we
watch
The larger love. the growing faith that stirs
OurEhearts. the tenderer touch. all show
What lasting helpfulness may still be hers
Whose smallest want is ministered unto.
So, till all longings of the soul are met
By the hands service, till we deem life less
Than meat or drink. we may not dare to set
bound or limit TO life s usefulness.
-Cur'ottI Perry, IN Christian Union.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02
Knee-Breeches for LabOrers.

Fashion, Notwithstanding its caprices
is subject to the contro ling influences
Of the sense of comfort and that o ap.
pearance. We may say that Of these
the former influence, on the whole, pre-.
dominates in the dress customs of the
male. and the latter in those of the fe-
male sex. On this hypothesis one can
understand how desire for warmth,
de. clipping W tn the growth of civiliza-
ton. has led orr countrymen, or most
of them, as well as OUT continental
neigh yors. 10 abandon very much cooler
and lig ter, and even more wholesome,
modes of covering the aether extremi-
ties. for that OF our own day, which is
probably as inele ant, end sometimes
as inconvenient. as it is protective. We
have lie behind us British kilt the
Saxon leg-swathing. the thigh-b re ches,
the kn.e-breeches, and have put on
trousers. Ours is the century of long
clothes. 1t may be questioned whether
we have gained much by the change.
some, indeed, of our ancestral garments
may, by this time, be too long out oil
Date to be recoverable. The kilt and
leg bandage, foreSample, are separated
from us, not only by centuries of dis
use. but by differences of sentiment and
occupation between our time and
theirs, which must render their
revival in any general sense
well-n'gh impossible. The Elizabethan
costume is in the same position, but the
short clothes OF the Georgian era still
hold an established place among the
varieties of dress. though not that OF the
governing type. They seem to form the
chosen habit of that whose lives abound
in muscular movement. Thus, they st
tho fashio. of boyhood in the knicker-
locker suit they commend themselves
TO athletes, and especially to those of
them who run much; farm lahorers
often wear th.m; the infantry soldiers
of more than une great power find them
serviceable. Might they not be even
moro commonly worn in evil Ii than
they are? We think so; and though
we can not here follow all the intri-
cacies of an argument as to whether or
not knce-breeches are on the whole
more seemly and convenient than
trousers, whether the use of the latter
should not be conceded 10 the man of
unshapelT limbs. and SO forth; still, it
seems to as that in certain conditions,
at all events, the elder costume might
be adopted with advantage Speaking
broadly, we may say that all callings
which email much physical exertion
would proht BY the change. In par
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02

"A Japanese traveller says that GER
tain classes or murders in that country
are punishable with the death of the
murderer, all his family and his school.
master.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02

"A spoonful of kerosene oil put into
cold starch W Il prevent the iron from
sticking. Detroit Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-02

quarter with the line held up to the
view of the steamer lust ahead.
I Riding up the broad waves and set
ting down into the cavern of the deep.
on came the schooner. reeling and
swaying like adrunken man. Then, on
the crest of an immense billow, she
ranged past As she hurried by the
steamer rolled wildly toward her, and
t mate launches the lead with I'M
erring aim. Deity passing the line
about him, he dropped himself over
board.
Before he came to the surface another
wave passed over m and chased the
schooner half mile. But ready hands
on board the steamer had secured the
line and were hauing in. Tnen a pro-
longed cheer announced to the schOon-
er at the mate reached t ,e steamer.
A rough pea jacket was offered him
as he pi ked his way to the bridge
through the frightened and pale faced
pas>en ers. AT the W eel the engineer
informed him that the water was gain
ing fast; that the night sea had
swept the deck and washed the Cap
tain, mate and some of the hands over
board; that he had taken charge and
done the best he could: that if ANYTHING
happened to the engine she was sure to
go ashore.
The mate explained that he knew the
way in over the bar and through The in
let, and had come 10 help them; that if
an thing was to be attempted he was to
have a good head OF steam and q good
hand in the pilot-house; that he wanted
to warn everybody that it was des-
perate undertaking, and that they must
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09

rHE LATEST CoNCERNlNG lAyD
GRANTS,

WAsa1SoToS, April Judge Payson
Of Illinois, who has made himself very
conspicuoas 10 his var upon the fr.u3o.
lent land grants IN the West. said TO-
nigh; that the Public L ands COMMITTEES
would be able to pass through the House
all of The forfeiture bills prepared by
this com mittee, With possibly one ex sep
ton. There Was no significance in the
vote the other day autaeonizing the Or
eeou Central forfeiture. The next for
fixture TO be consii ered will be the gran.
to the Atlantic i Pacific. The commit
tee intends 20 forfeit tee lands of the
Northern Pacific vest Of Bism 4rck.
The land east Of that point is the most
valu.bls, and II Is upon this land the
bonds are said TO have been issued.
Judge Psysoa believes that the House
will agree to this, bu. be ID not certain
of Its fate In the Senate. One of the
cases which has occupied the greatest
amount of time in the committee Is
coppar lively small. This is ;he Brnle
& Ontonaeon grant This WAS case
one winter four miles on the snow IN
order to bold their gran, but has never
done anything SINCE. A perfect swarm
OF lobbyists and lawyers representing
this railroad company. headed by Angus
Smith of Milwaukee, have almost talked
the committee to death In t4e last ten
days, but their work will avail them no
thing. The committee will unanimous
ly report in favor of its forfeiture. The
com nittee 1 making up, TO large ex
tent. for tue bfunders of the WAYS and
Means Committee Its work thus far
coniempiates the restoration TO the pub
lie domain Of over 5000, 600 acres Of
stolen pu lie lands.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09
FOREIGN.
The Cssadiaa Conspiracy C..~s

/ TosoSTo, Oa:., April s.-1he police
magistrate this morning derid~d IN the
uSrisscy Case that the charge of con-
spiracy had been prOpsrly made aud
that ths evidence VAS sufficient TO hold
all four defendants to stand trial for
conspiracy. The defendants we're ad
United TO bail On the second change
against thera. OF bribery. II vas agreed
that the charge should remain on the
magistrates books till tie other charge
Is disposed of.
A. GssaecessgaI Nsve.
LONDON, April s.-A TfB.,s CORE
spondent, writing from Hal Phone. saws:
The French attempt to cot of the Chi
nese retreat from B scninh com pletely
failed. He places the blame of the fail
ore On the commander of the French
fotillas.
MONTREAL, April s.--The government
inspector Of live stock reports that four
tifths Of the stock in Lspairo county is
infected with disease. The infected
districts have been guaranteed.
Victoria Nese.
VICTORIA, b. c., April s.-A number
OF experts and scientific men from
Washington arrived today on the way
To examine tue Iakou quartz lodges.
Gilman Milher. for mauy years stew
ard on the California steamers, was to-
day convicted of theft from A passed.
ger on tue steamer Otter. Sentence was
deferred pending argument on points
rendered.
huge octapus Weighing lOO pounds
Was caught IN this harbor today.
The steamer Idaho arrived from
Portland today and sailed for Alaska.
No Cause for Anxiety.
CRY OF MEXICO, April s.-Thera is
official information that the Govern
meat has made an arrangement with
the merchants regarding the stamp law,
which will remove ali cause for trouble
and anxiety. The situation was at no
time 50 alarming as reported. Mer.
chants will be at their places of busi-
Hess on Thursday.
The Mexican stamp Tax.
NATAMORAs, April S.-The stamp tax
imposed by the Mexican Government
npon liquors. chInaware. jcweiry. hard
ware, boots and shoes. medicine, hats
and caps. preserves and several other
things, Is from one-half to II per cent
on the value. 1t is thought in Mat.-
moras to be blow at the new reci-
prOcity treaty, as the articles named are
among the principal ones conceded by
the Mexican Government. 1t is also re-
qaIred that Oh the 18th instant every
one shall deposit At the Custom-h houses
all nickel money on hand. receiving
therefor certificates IN return. Duties
to the amount of ID per cent NAV be
paid IN these certificates. II Is impera-
tive that Il Per cent of the money ten
derrd IN payment of duties shall con-
slst of nickel. There will be none of
that coin In circulation after the 18th,
and the Government can then charge a
premium. Many fear that the policy
of the Government. If persevered in,
will cause serious trouble. aud perhaps
revolution.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09

Mono Lake, in Col orado, WAS recently
swept from one end to the other BY a
tornado. which dashed the water and
piled fsathery foam upon the shore ~
feet high. In the mass of foam we're
thousands of dead ducks. which had
been killed by being dashed against the
rocks.
In the isle of Wight a spider was OBJ
served dragging two or three leaves to
| the water. 1t fastened them together
with web. then launched tie raft and
called away. 1t darted of after insects
on the water and returned 10 the raft to
devour them.
When grssshoppers gave out. turkey
hen, Belonging to A. c. Hicks of POUCH
keepsie. fed her thirty young ones With
acerns. These having become scarce,
the old turkey was seen the other day
up in an oak tree shaking down the
acorns that remained clinging to the
twigs.
Capt T. p. Martin of Leon and Capt
n. {. kandleman of Carlisle, Wis. were
| IL years old when they enlisted in the
Mexican war. Both are now gray haired,
but when they met on Friday last, fol-
the first time sihce the Mexican war
they instantly recognized each other.
Fifty witnesses armed With shotguus
we're present at the marriage Of Miss
Alice Cooper. an orphan of Platte City,
80. Wm. Montgomery, the groom. had
attempted to desert the girl. and the
neighbors gave him the option Of ctoos-
ing grave in a neighborina cem terry
or marrying her.
At a picture auction in a New Eng
land town the auctiOnser exclaimed:
nov Iffrr you a Ruben a perfect gem
of genius. perhaps the finest painting
that ever came from that master hand"
There was no bid. The auctioneer
passed the picture, and, taking up an
other, said: Very well, gentlemen;
nov .ffer you mbrandt by the same
artist
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09
Notice Of Final Proof.

rs LAND oyyrcr AT OLYMPIA. v. TIL
March Is. 1884 I
~Nesi-e Is hereby given that WILLIAM
" ROBINSON hiss fied nstiee Of tntentton 70
make Ana proof before Albert n. Soy ,er. .
Notary Public, u his cface in seattle, w. T,
or Tuesday. the 18th cay Of Nay. A. D.
lss4. on Pre-su psion D. g. No los6 Tor the
Ios an ~ wv /. aud Ne / Of ~ 4
Of sec ion II, township IS norih. fsnss cost
He names a. witnesses William r I'm
nett, D sna Fslk, Andrew Andefeou and Ed
win Evans, Oh Of P Ut Aadson. ". q.
John ?. 0OWEY
m, aaanM REGISTER Of the Land ONE.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09

The crema,ionisss have Won decided
x,ctorv in Portugal. After lsng and
bitter fight between the advocates OF
the plan. led by physicians and scien-
lists generally, and the opponents. Who
we're chiefly priests, the governments has
dec ided TO make cremation sption.i
With the people generally. and compnl-
sory in all cases Of death Occurring IN
d;sfricts infected With the plague.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09

rs. LAND OFFICE AZ OLYNrIA ". T.,
Feb 18th. lisa
uOScHsiN hse nied notice d tsssns1on 70
mahe npal proof b. fore TIE Clark Of the Dis
trief Court. 1t HE once in Sssftle " T.. Oh
Thursday. the . b day Of Ap u, A. o. lsss.
On pre- emf ton . No sssa. fer the loe 2.
Of 8 efioo Q. township - north. rAeee eese-
6Ae names ~ vitDeasss: ". . HAL. .:
allison, ". Baum % end =. Hooooon. al o.
JOHN ?. GOWkY.
nssApN Assis>s q ~ LAsA oons.
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09

Us LANE OYYIcE AT OLYMPIA, " 7.
March Is, 1854
/" Notice 10 her by given thsf WAkhkN
q. LUNG has nied notice OF intention u
make ftnsl proof before the Register and Re
cstysr. Al IN ir once r. Olynpi ". r. Al
THURSDAY. the 18th day % Nav. 4. D. lisa. or
Prr-enpsios d. 5 No. 6456, for the q = o
NJ 4 Neh Of 81 \ Of section y. and J
ef Nv L OF section -. township - nossn
pree eost-
He names - witness ,: 3 o. mai. Ems
rrssal 4. Oele ant james D.cbenson, al o
JOHN 2 CONVEY.
nrEnyl heg0ees o. ses Lana ocs-
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09

Call early and get the newest and
latest styles out of Clayton Brothers
new stock of millinery goods, furnish
ing goods, etc. Well sell at reduced
prices for the next thirty days. Clay
ton Brothers, Sl4 Front street. ap9
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09
4 Fine Bargain.

WILL SELL 10 ACRES OF LAND.
L near town, one-half Of which 10 clear
ed. for $500. on easy terms. This tract u
the NE of 81 l. section II township Is
north, range 3 east.
This II . great bargain and lucky will
be the man who secures the prize.
GEO. DORFFEL-
At c. H. HAnford's Office. Colman build
ing. cor. Mil and Commercial sts. mr2
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09

Ladies'. call and zee our new stock IT
millinery goods Just arrived per George
w. Elder Will be open for inspection
April 9Th. 8 a. m. CLAYTON Bro'hers,
ala Front street. ap9
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09
! EGGS PJR MATCHING


"a LAID OFFICE AZ OLynrIA, W-r..l
Mach 5. 1884. !
q Notice h hereby given that JOHN D.
LEW has Med notice OF insenuoo 70
m.he Anal proof befor the Ciesk Of the Lis
trict Court q his once IN seA'tis. - 90
saturday. the a6eh day Of April. A. D. lass.
on Presumption D. 8. No. 7o1s. for the sw =
Of section s. Township Is north, rAnee s.et
He names - witnesses: Waiter b. hal,
william T. williams Rivfn ]. etevan ana
JOHN 2. 0OwEf.
m,,a AMI; RAeiseee Of the Land Once
Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-09
4 Great Bargain.

hight LOTS, 5OxlO FEET EACH.
II all In SOLID body. cleared ready for
buildings, and within 10 minutes walk
from the Post Once. Must be sold In ten
dayA and hence are offered for the very
low price Of 1?sO0. cash. II not sold in Q
lump will be offered 1t $500 each.
The person who jumps 1t this offer. and
purchases the eight lots for $500 wilt get
the BEST BARGAIN in real estate in the
city Of Seattle. today. either for the pur.
pose Of gardening or for speculation.
They are in Kollock's addition. between
Lake and Prince William stresa. :, this size
Of IAwton's nursery. and within two
blocks Of the Foster and other lots. held
ct 5000 each, and these are not above the
market price. Don't tarry on this pur
chase IL you are looking for Q bargain.
N. s. BOOTH Z CO.,