Daily Republican., 1884-10-23
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

MIRTH AND MERRIMENT. |
A woman's smile IL thus described in
a Hawaiian romance: Her rich, red
lips parted, and there flashed upon the
landscape two rows Of beautiful white
teeth. Slowly her mouth opened wider
and wider. Deeper grew the dimplss
in her bronze cheeks. Brighter danced
the sunbeams In her eyes. until stray
ray. darting through the foliage Of an
overhsnging bough. illuminated the
TO view the back of her head. Then,
seeing us gaze intently upon her, she
shut her jaw, and darkness fell upon
the scene"
A young couple In humble life were
z DING through the ceremony Of civil
marriage before the Mayor of one Of
III. ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF Paris q few
weeks ago. The woman Is every
where to follow her husband" said the
functionary, reciting the usual formula.
decline to promise that" broke in
the bride, with great decision. " What
do you mean 2" inquired the Mayor.
" My husband is q letter. carrier In the
suburbs" replied the cautious creature,
In q mincing tone.
Charley" said Kate, "why Is it
that you don't visit Clara nowadays?
You can't certainly have any reason to
dislike her 1 know that che is just the
girl to SUIT you. Charley Yes,
Clara's good enough sort OF girl, but
she won't answer" Kate ]: mon.
sense, Charley She's every way
worthy of you, and want you to pro-
pose to her the very FIRST chance.
Charley Didn't l tell you she
won't answer have proposed half .
dozen times already" Kate ooh?
"Landlord r. criet an irritated
traveller, who had been eating dried
apple pie at . railroad lunch. house, n
he held one hand to his shattered j ~
and produced q gimlet with the o',,-r
=" look at this confouuded gimlei VI
found In your pie, and broke hall tn,
teeth in my head on 1t, J" "Well,
dec iare," said the landlord, Il wantet
to use that yesterday. and hunted al
over for 1t. Much obliged, stranger.
| A mi lister was once busy catechisinl
his young par ishoners before his congre
!. CATION. when he put the first question u
stout girl whose father kept publ
, house: What is your name ?" NJ
reply. The question having been re
peated, the girl replied "Nan6 o. ye
, fun, Mr.. Minister. Ye ken my nam
weel enough. Dye no say, when y
} come TO our house on night, Bet
: bring me some ale'?"
They were standing ut the front gate
Won't you come In the parlor and 81
!. . little while, George, dear ?'' " Noe
2 think not, replied George, hesitatine
lily. ~ wish you would" the gil
went on; "it's awfully lonesome
Mother has gone out, and father ID VI
stairs groaning with rheumatism In IL
9 legs" Both legs ?" asked Georg'
: |" Yes, both legs" Then I'll come in.
J. Schoolmaster What is meant ID
mental occupation ?" Pupil: "Or
:, lin which we use our mind" Schoo
y master +" And q manual occupAtion
Pupil: "One In which we use OIL
hands" Schoolmaster 4" Now, whiC
!. of these occupations Is mine. Com
: now, what do use most In teachir
y you ." Pupil, quickly Your can
l. sir T.
VI Handsome is that handsome does,
= Iauoted man 10 his wife the other da
s T" Yes" replied she, in winning tot
Z as she held out her hand, for instan
10 . husband who is always ready to hal
some money to his wife," The mors
) lizer was cornered, and this 10 why q
lg wife appeared at church last Sundl
" with brand new bonnet.
mo, sir, /" said DIR. Jalap, .
E, wouldn't have that apple.tree cut dov
% for money" But you never get 81
D. fruit from It," argued Brown " t
boys steal q Il the apples before they =
half ripe" "That's just it." repli
the doctor with quiet smile th
: tree stands me In q good thousand eve
=. season"
ID A very polite and impressional
gentleman, meeting q boy In the strs
, said: My dear boy. may l inqui
- where Robinson 3 shop Ii ?" Certal
:" ly, SIR" said the boy, very respectful
Il After waiting few minutes, the g
d tleman said Well, my boy, whe
% is 1t ?" 81 have not the least idea
~ said the urchin.
l.. Does your head ever swim ?" n
Snifk ms 2" asked little Tom Popipj
= OF his sisters beau. Yes Tommy,
suffer occasionally from dizziness,
piled the slim. I thought So" %
. Tommy. "Pa said he'd pitch you
to the horse pond only your head wou
keep you from sinking"
my dear Mrs K" exclaimed
lady visitor, show have you managed
preserve your strength 30 perfectly
your time of life? " By husban
ing It," replied Mrs. X, pointi
through the open door at male q
ure laboriously engaged In washil
dishes.
A would-be wit once said speaking
the fair sex +" All it's woman's m
A. sion to make fools of men -" And he
vexed you are, said a bright eyed fen
nine present, to find that nature b
10 often forestalled u.s."
Doctor (engaged six months after
death of his first wife ,soliloquizing oy
a letter. :" This Is better. She q
dresses me rs you dear, darli
duck, My first wife used to speak
O. me as nasty cid quack.'"
Il Wedding cake done up In horse sh
y. boxes is the latest thing. The boxes
a