The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-07-03

neighbors neglect them socially, it i:
due entirely to the difference in wealth
1t is reproachfully charged upon ths
latter that they are ''stuck up" by the
wealth, and that money alone is al
that is needed to cause every aristo
cratic door to be thrown open to them
This notion is largely mistake
Poverty, or very limited means, may bt
bar to marriage, but in itself it is no
a bar to social recognition. 1t may be
the cause why other objections exist
but, considered alone, it does not 90 a:
far as many superficial people imagine
There is another and weightier reason
that shuts them out-the inequality o.
Planners and intellectual culture which
exists. Poverty may be the cause more
or less of these disabilities, but when {
man has excellent manner and a cult
waited intellect in spite of poverty, {
very great barrier to his social advance
ment is removed.
Good manners alone. without supe-
rior scholastic requirements, 60 a grea
way to open to any man or woman tht
doors of good society. do not mear
by this, negative good manners alone,
but some grace in action ami in speech
Of course it must be accompanied by
what at least appears to be kindly sin
cerity, and for this reason a man who
would pass as a gentleman had better
be gentleman. which is to be kind
hearted, regardful of others, sympa
thetic towards the unfortunate, and
careful never to make needless trouble
for others. In addition he should be
at ease with himself in society, Just as
if good manners were born to him, and
possess the tact to make others feel at
ease in his presence. The man or wo-
man who can not master this last az
complishment will never be thoroughly
popular. Probably it can never be
mastered unless one feels cordial to-
ward his associates, and to have this
feeling requires, in part at least, loy-
ing mothers teaching and example in
early childhood. The boy or girl who
is taught to look with contempt on the
humble born will rarely appear to dis
tinguished advantage in this mixed So
ciety into which popularity seekers are
usually thrown. The counterfeits of
kind-heartedness will not always pass
current.
There are plenty of men who owe i'm
mensely more to graceful and genial
manners than to what is usually con-
sidered talent or scholarship. | know a
college professor, I'D. D." and a
all. d." universally popular Tin spite
of some faults known best to his very
intimate friends), who was born on a
rocky farm in a region remote from So
cial or literary advantages, but who, in
spite of poverty, gained welcome ad
mission to the highest circles before as
well as after his college graduation.
The only cash help he had to 90 through
college and the theological seminary
was a sort of legacy worth about sixty
dollars. Everything else he earned by
teaching or farm labor during vaca-
tions. He had good abilities, but not
specially shining. and he is far from
being world-famous to-day. But he
had, as though born to it, genial man
ners and social tact. He is a fair
preacher and fair scholar, but excites
no special enthusiasm until he appears
in the social circle. There he shines;
and his facility for adapting himself to
cultured or uncultured company has
done more for him than his diplomas.
| have seen him, when a young man,
draw ont and interest an awkward.
illiterate and unsocial country girl with
aS much apparent ease as if she had
been duchess anxious for his smiles.
As a pastor he was always very pOpu-
ar, but chiefly because he made every
body feel at ease, and his calls were
ike sunshine.
l know an editor who was born in
humble life, but to-day occupying high
position, who owes his success far more
TO genial manners than to extraordinary
ability. 1t is the same in other pro-
LESSONS. The physician, who, without
suspicion of hypocrisy, has kindly and
captivating manners, is quite as likely
TO be successful as the most talented
ever was. His manners
lre as healing as his skill, and even
more welcome.
Now the opportunity to master such
Is open to poor as well as
rich. Mothers should remember this,
and aim to give this accomplishment us
1 legacy of good to their children.
Develop first all the child's goodness of
leart, and then polish up all his social
yifts to the utmost. Never waste time
)r words about the pride or ''stuck up
qualities of your rich neighborS or their
children, but make ladies and gentle
men of your own children, and it will
,,.fh TO
Personal grace and dignity are BY no
means incompatible with working
mans rough exterior The little ac-
of gracefully lifting a
damaged hat to a lady, is worth good
leal at times; and who has not been
pleasantly impressed by the correct
english of some one wOrkingman
tmOng a group of his fellows in an
wering 4 strangers question: We
mark that man as one
With qualifications above his associates.
If parents in humble life would try
o make their children appreciate the
value of 4 good address, the
after would have their self-respect
greatly increased and their ambition
ired to become adopts in real social
traces. Such an ambition would help
argely to keep them out of low com
,any. Teach them to be polite, first
because it is right and noble and Chris
ian in itself. and second, because it ,cili
,dy.
One of the best of social graces, par
icularly useful to those in lowly
tations, is correct pronunciation. A
'oy or girl whose words stand out a:
distinctly as the letters on new coin,
It once makes favorable impression,
nd this little grace of correct speaking !
nd clear enunciation is within reach OF
ems of thousands who neglect it
1Ountry Gentleman.