Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1884-08-14

BILL MATSON's OLD RAM.
he Boy Who Had Nothing TO Do But
Get Stone Bruises on
His Heels.

Get Stone Bruises on
His Heels.
Ibid you ever have a healthy and
vigorous old ram push your coat tail
up against you kerchunki unexpected
ly when you wasn't lookingr inquired
Bill Matson, of Bliffkins. as the bar
tender placed two shippers on the table
in little back room at Schneider's
grocery.
mo, Bill. l never did; but I've gone
a-courtin' girl whose father wasn't
willin', and heard something four or
five times before got to the gate. The
sensation was pro bly, bout the same"
"Was it, thought exclaimed Bill in
a high and incredulous tone of voice.
"When you say that you only show
how little you've travelled and how lit
tie fun you've had in the world. For
q species of excitement and thrilling
sensations that you can't get by fool
ing round mule or by buckin' the IL
ger, to say nothing of the novel and
startling situations, give me an old ram
that's got grudge against somebody
I've been there"
..Is there a story in this, Bill?"
"a story? Yes, and moral, tooP"
LET 90 Of it -
.'Well, Bliff, I'll do it, though It's
pretty rough on Bill. Yer see. wheI
was q little ba-efooted runt and used
to wear tow trousers dad used to live
down on a hill farm in Pennsylvany,
aud about all l had to do was to run
round gettin' stone-bruises on my
heels and Dein'
sTUNG BY BUNDLE BEES
and givin' dad q chance to exercise
himself with beech CAD he always
had handy-marm used to say that
dad walloped me so much that my
trousers used to wear out behind first
'Mongst other things / used to raise
Cain with was loveage stalk that
used to blow peas through. Ever been
hit In the eye with pea, Blif?"
mo"
"Well, you don't want ter be. They
hurt like Sam Hill. / used to 60 round
with loveage stalk under my jacket
and my pocket full of dry peas, and
shoot peas at everything. One day as
was a-goin' by the buck pastur' down
in the medder l seed the old ram
a-gnawin' grass and out come my low
age stalk. l fired two or three peas at
him, but he was too far of, so that |
couldn't hit him, SO took off my hat,
held it up in front of my face, wobbled
it around and yelled 'boo-woo-woo!
The old ram looked up and seed me,
and started for the rail fence with head
down with full steam on. l was all
ready, and when he was bout three
feet away give him a pea plump on
the nose. Golly! you oughter seed him
tear round and stamp, and smack his
head up agin the rails, and l all the
time poppin' peas at his nosei Bimeby
he got sick of it. and went off out into
the middle of the pastur', and stood
there stampin' his feet and lookin' ugly;
but couldn't get him up to the fence
no more.
"'Long in June, as was a-goin' by
the pastur', l seed some strawbrys
through the fence, and wanted 'em SO
bad that they made my mouth water.
The old ram was a-layin' down in the
. corner of the fence under but'nut
tree and looked as if he was asleep, so
/ slipped over the fence mighty still
and went to film my jacket with
strawbrys, and keepin' one eye on the
old ram. He didn't stir, and purity
soon got so busy eatin' that l forgot
all about him. Them was big straw
brys, and was a-stoopin' down pickin'
with both hands when somethin' hit
me from behind. L guess it knocked
me rod, and when l struck my nose
plowed hole in the ground. Of course
/ knowed it was the old ram, who was
a-gettin' even for the peas, and
scrambled up and run for the fence,
but hadn't gone ten feet afore ne
lifted me again, and then he backed
off bout half q rod, and every time I'd
move he'd smash me.
dad was a-hoein' corn up on the
side-hill, and he seed what was a-goin'
on. Yer see, dad didn't know nothin'
bout the peas, and it made him pow
full mad to see the old ram a-beltin'
me. and down he come as tight as he
could run. The old ram was so busy
a-takin' care of me that the first thing
that he knew, dad had him by the
lhorns.
! ".Blast yerr sez dad, I'll larn yer
better than to be buttin' the breeches
5offen my boy He commenced pound
in the old rams nose with his fist.
Purity soon, jest as dad was astrikin'
the old ram bobbed his head down and
dad
HIT him ON THE HORNS.
Golly! how the old man did jump up
and down, and snap his fingers and
how'll He felt in his pocket for his jack
knife, but I'd lost that two or three
days afore when l was a-fishin'. Then
dad spied an old rotten stone, one of
them as has all crumbled up into rough
gravel He pulled the old ram along
up to that gravel. straddled across his
neck, grabbed hold of his horns up
close to his head, shouted: III larn
yerr' and commenced chugging his
nose down into that gravel, but the
second time he chugged, the old ram
turned his nose back atween his fore
legs, dads hands slipped off, and down
went his fists kerchug into the gravel
Afore he could straighten himself up
the old ram pulled back, tripped up
dads legs, and down he went on his
face in the gravel. When he got up he
looked for all the world as though he
had the smallpox, or somebody had
fred charge of bird-shot into his
face. Give. us couple more of them
shippers, Schneider"
Hold on, Bill What's the moralP"
Never fire peas at rams nose, or
else don't go strawbryin' in the pas
tur'."