Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-09-18

for rag mummy when we ought to hev
nothin hut speshy or its equivalent, and
he's ben explainin that ever since.
"In brief, the fust thing dimekratic
Speaker alluz does when he commences
HIS speech is to explain, and that okke-
pies him till he closes.
"My friends, Their don't happen TO he
a single thing that dimocrisy hez at
tempted to do that he hezen't bin corn.
PEELED to eXplane He hez managed,
with skin witch is trooly wonderful, to
git on the wrong eide Nv every question
that hez bin afore the Amerkin people
ever since he wuz born. Ef there's q
sin Nich he hezn't taken TO his bozum
and fur witch he's now eXplainin'. / don't
happen to remember it. If there's a
heresy he heznt sided with, an error
witch he hezu't embraced, wrong witch
he hezn't ohampioned, and a piece of
id foelishnis witch he hezn't inders-
ed, hev forgotten it.
"Other parties sometimes make mis-
takes-the Dimocrisy hez week.-mrs. for
crime. 1t perpetooally wants to COM
NIT murder without any reason for it.
1t is the one party that never wuz rite.
One wood suppose it mite occasionally
blunder into doin' the proper thing,
but it doesn't. L. hez the whisky in
tlooence at its back, and it wood court
Mormomism eff Utah he'd a EDITORIAL
vote. Their amt any sin which it doesn't
take to with a relish. none wich its adj
herence won't stumick, The Dimekratic
stumick it wuzz nor an ostrich's; the
ostrich kin digest simple ston.s-Dim-
ocrisy wakes strung on aCtooal pizep.
/ ~ on
wood turn its stumick. 1t wants still
Stops witis stricknin into it.
1.-THE DimeBratic party is like re.
treetin' army--it alluz hez TO look out
for its reer. IT'S biggest enemy, is it's
past. 1t hez to spend its entire time
eXplainin how it hezent been RELY to
blame fur bein a id fool. It's"
1t wuz high time for this sort NV talk
to stop, for the middle he'd really got
the atteushun NV the people Their
wuzn't no yoose NV moviR' and adjern-
NEXT, and the people must be stamped
ed sumhow. Heroic treatment wuz
necessary. Candy | rose and, inter-
ruptin the speaker, remarkt TO the aw-
jence:
Gentlemen, l hev recently had a
/ legacy left me, and / Teckest 700 all to
I .
three bottles drawd from fresh bari,
1 wich YOU are wecom to. / want 700 10
/ lire me in a drink"
! The effeck wuz eectrickle There
wuz a wild charge fur the door, fur
three bottles wood skasely go round III
sech a crowd, and each wuz determined
to be fust. issaker Gavitt piled over the
heds Nv the crowd, and went out NV the
door in a iifTy, with Deelin Pogram
haugin to his coat-tails. The sagashus
old man wuz contiscatin a porshun Nv
the strength Nv the younger man, that
he might not be eternely too late.
| had to pawn a Waterbury watch
witch i he'd borered NV traveln man
fer a Louisville whlskey house, to git
the bottles, for Bascom IS obdoorit. But
l succeeded in breakin up the meetin
The Apostle Paul coodent hold a Cross
Roads awjeSce agin inyitashen t
take suthin.
hey hopes that this sacrifice will b
remembered by the next administration
eff we elect a drmecratic president /
is no small matter for me to put on
three bottles NV whiskey for othera wher
l so need EN- myself. But sacrifices
mast be made fur the cause.
PETROLEUM Y. Massey (Worried.)