Daily Republican., 1884-03-27
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT.

hhVWiuk tOoh Au oob "hH " IS
strongly objected TO paying seven dol
lars for coat which he had tried on
"Vhell, I don't say dot 1t IL wort sever
dollars" replied the dealer. ethel
why do you ask it?" "vhell. my eye
hat got NO poor dot anybody can pas
badt money on me now. II l sold do
goat for seven dollar, / should expec
10 git Won dollar In counterfeit money
und two dollars in silver dot vhal
plugged Oop." 81 guess I'll take it, ;
said the stranger after pause and he
scraped the bottoms of his pockets and
hunted his wallet over for bills. "Do
is right, young man und | know yOr
wouldn't sheat an old man nit sore
eyes" The coat was packed up, ant
the stranger disappeared The dealer
turned 20 the cash on the counter, care
fully examining each piece, and there
was smile on his face as he chuckled
"Only ninety cents of badt money
und some of dot blenty goot enough u
put In der shildren's savings bank !"
"Why have you discontinued thu
publication of your paper ?" was asked
of the editor Of the Weekly Mouth
Piece. "Well, you see, several weeks
ago | was taken sick and was com
PEELED to miss an issue. Afterward, IL
looking over my books, / discovered
that had made more OF, the number
that / didn't issue than on any number
that issued, 30 thought If that's the
way the newspaper business had turned
! would fall in line and fght 1t out"
my DEAR" said newly married
young woman to her wealthy, hui
illiterate husband, edo you not think
we ought to give german ?" Well
If you think 80, that settles it,, replied
the fond husband. chow much viii
It cost ?" about a thousand dollars. >
3" All right; 60 ahead. don't mind
the cost, but l am blest If I can SET
what you want TO give a german fol
when neither Of understand the Ian
guage."
"Pbat did the DOCTOR say was the
matter wild yez, Pat % Pat" Faith
and he sed me constitution was run
down and mustn't drink irrun for me
blood" Bridget" Irrun for yer blood
And how can ye drink irrun?" Pat
BY melting it, to be sure" Bridget
"But va can't drink melted hot irrun,
70 fool" Pat" Indade, don't / know
that can't drink melted hot irrun,
but can't wait till cools ?"
A prominent lawyer, IN going TO MS
place OF business, overlook nelghDor
who Is celebrated doctor. After
walking some distance together, The
lawyer sa'u l 'on o,h enIn y, "" ~ y%u
ousn NJ. " W. 1'on 'oso'nu, h.,,n ~,
ilo. ~, well; S1u ., 900, w." o,s ,h w.
se.hel VIII WILL io ,nuuo ..o Po VIZ so c n,'
t !. t WHY was s. atiosteo WY . ." ,
w he. tne poop' t sne ia ia"9 In, ar"
Hoctor loge1her !. 'ooh its M ~, " 'o''"n'
our money vi 9ou' '''
Step-husband Two sons OF Erin met
recently, and interviewed as follows
ION, SURPRISING yo Dur VILE a . sGs " n u
'9lce lrom you, an,, ,ien ,i'" .i 10y ~
"hat reIati1', "o' H.! ! NC 10 you WI, :,
couian .ei' you .na'' I'LL - "uy
"oulu 10 your s,ep ~ n.soanu' ,r sa
I'm. no" IN .iiaI ashe Ell. io jill,
. because, returm y, ''n' "nen W"
Step ou' l S'ep ILL., :.
A number OF amateurs were dis'
GUESSING inc ques'ion VI nanao w onoa'
new ulaihallc clu", . rhu po VI u.s' 7,
y ~ ono susses'on N oW" .Is !, a";d
ishaw' salu seconu. W." suo .s'a -
.hiiu, "a you go son y" o "nnur,s.
name rom some Oh ,ne s.ase app.uTT1ho a
nances' why not can yonrs =. I've lhe
FlatS' ana nave zone Win IL
An antique Deacon VINO had been a
very haru case III MS younger uays'
ana was no" suspecteu vi nyPocrisy'
being IN the hapit Oh porihs ms h1lsn,
DOTS WIN p'ous piatl'uoos, ohe vi 'len'
SAID 10 MIN one aay oee nere, uea,
con, suppose you Know tnat SONS olu
men IKE TO give gooa precepts 10 con
SOLE themselves ior tnelr lnao''l'y ho
ohsof " s''o '"o p.oo'
A bibulons person was lntroducea 70
LADY VINO nan peeh represe n W nini
IN quite talehteu artiste. ne sree.eu
ler ny saying e unue e,s"S' hIsah u
mat you paint one s'arteu, olusnou
ieeply, and recovering nerseAl aiter q
lew seconds, saiu wen, II 1 uo o
Pain.' i uoh ni"no "nS '''"n' OH"
put IL Oh my nos0'
A refreshment-bar on a northern
railway is kept by veteran baker. "A
sprightly young traveller complained
Of one of his pies the other DAY. me
old man became angry. Young man
he said, severed y, ~ maze pies Delore
u.