South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-03-07

VII And ln0 DGQ r.
'Ye'. sis.' said Jiuklus. sSnahcs e :
man ~ho keeps bis word bit then he
has to- 'llov u thsss' ssxsd Jo,es..
Because 40 one viii take H.
Why Is domination 10 public once
% often called IN empty honor, fathert'
ssked boy OF sa old poiiticisa. Be.
cause, my son. vas the solemn reply, 1T
rarslf falls 20 empty the pockets OF the
victim Of the nomiustior.'
WORTH a Lfcxixo.-S3me years ago
In Georgia that band Of Christians
known 90 Arcensionists werc having .
grand revival. One day when the meet
ing was in Full force storm came NJ,
ADD 4 youus eesteman vho vas ous
huatisg wstb . servant tool refuge in
church door. Being curious 70 see the
service the two hunters crept up in the
gallery. an there hid in . place whore
they could observe without being OBJ
served. ~
Come. Lord, come. our robes are
ready. Come, Lord, come cried the
preacher, while oil present gave q loud
Amen
'Marsa Gabe.' whispered CuHry. Hiting
bic hunting horn down TO HE mouth. let
me glib en- just one toot.'
Put that horn down, or I'll break
your head. sreehed stke master : Ia !
whisper. 81 :
The horn droppsd By Ceays ssaS, and
again The minister cried. Come, 'Leri.
GOMEZ Ne are slitsady Tor thy coming.
Come. Lord. come ,,a 80 8 ~
do. Marsa Gabe-do list lemme glib
'em jIst one little .oo'.' pleaded Cufy
wettiDg his lips and raising his horn.
'lfyou don't drop that horn, Cuffy,
Ill whip you within IN inch Of your
life.' whispered tho exssperated mas
ter. zee 3 e.s,es 80 - % ~
BLOW. Gabriel. blow; we are ready
for his coming, pleaded the minister.
Cuffy could no longer rests. the tempta.
ton. and sent Wild peal ringing from
end to end OF the church; bat long be-
fore its last echoes died away bis master
and himself were the only occupants OF
the building.
rs retdy fur de licking, Marsa Gable
said CuffS, showing every tooth In bis
head. for clare to gracious IFS WORT
two lickings to see de way common
farm cattle kin git ober de ground wild
skesred 'Scensionists behind 'em.'-
IIarper's Monthly.
Yes. Augustus. ! love you. Now you
must 60 and see father No. dovie,
not yet; that is father than want 10 90
just at present.
Wife The aou,'s OUT Husband
so is my money The Goals gone
Husband-.So is my credit Wife
well. We can't starve.' Husband
Cant we! that's good; ] was afraid We
should :.
Michelet writes that woman is the
salt Of mans life.' There is a proverb
that every time you upset the salt there
is fight.
What do you think OF my little
duck P whispered Augustus Popinjay,
directing a friends attention at ball.
to very bandso.n ne young lady in low
neck and short sleeves. She looks
plump enough was the reply, but
don't you think little more dressing
would improve her?'-Burlington Free
Press.
Tricks OF A VENTRILoQUIsT-A FRO
FEssoR OF THE ART RECALLS SOME
PRACTICAL JoKEs.-In Q variety enter.
iainment there ia one thing that ifper.
formed successfully never fails 10 please
the audience. No matter how dull and
embarrassing may be the preceding act
no sooner does the ventriloquist come
forward with his paraphernalie, consist.
ing Of trunk, table, automatons and
DOLE, than interest revives, and soon
every one is laughing and many won.
defiDg how It's done. After enjoying
such performance the other day, q re-
porter for the Daily News sought out
the professor Of the art, Mr.. j. W..
Bingham. re was found in the dress,
iDg-room OF the Chicago Museum, just
removing his stage toys and DOMINIC his
store clothes. Seated on his trunk he
talked TO his visitor who had for o res
ting place one of Mrs. Gen. Tom
Thumbs traveling-boxes.
DO you have many chances TO prac-
iics veniriloquism in private. where you
can have some fun cut of il without be.
ing discovered ?was asked.
Why answered the professor, laugh
ing. bave had some ludicrous exper-
fences, but such occurrences do not hap {.
pen often, for II is necessary to have
n