davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
A CAVE HUNTER.
What n Western Editor Does When He
Sees . Cyclone Coming.

What n Western Editor Does When He
Sees q Cyclone Coming.
Abe o. Welshons, editor of the Green
field. (Ia.) review, but native of Penn
sylvania, was in the city day or so ago
visiting friends. "Pittsburgers know
nothing about wind" he said, referring
to recent gnst that mad tangled up the
telegraph wire. hereabouts.
Everybody out our way has cave on
his premises. When they see a black
cloud coming the whole family bundle
into the cave, and then in an hour or
so the old man comes out to see if the
house is still standing. You have no
idea of the terrible nature of these cy-
clones. The first thing you notice is a
dense black cloud with ragged edges.
Then the base of the cloud turns green
Ish-yellow, and you hear an indescriba-
BILE roar which grows louder until you
can hear nothing else and the storm is
upon you. Most of the houses are con-
structed of wood, many of them with
substantial cellars It's funny to see the
mothers gathering up their children and
hurrying them into the cellar or cave,
but this precaution has saved many a
life. I've hunted cave more than once
when i saw black cloud and heard the
storm coming and you don't stand on
ceremony, either. Dispatch
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
HIS WIFE'S MOTHER.

Poots has his own ideas about decor
ting his parlor. He insisted on hang
ing the motto Touch not, taste not, han
die not" Immediately underneath the
picture of his wife's mother.-Cincinnati
Saturday Night. ....
A circus clown recently dropped dead
in Ohio while getting off an old joke on
his mother-in-Iaw. Thus you see that a
man always gets the worst of it when he
didn't know the blamed thing was load.
ed.-Paris Beacon.
Bob Burdette has come to the defence
of the mothers-in-law. This only goes
to show what influence a mans wife's
mother can exert over him, when one OF
them forces paragrapher to defend his
enemies.-Boston Times.
"The mother-in-law of the new Comp
trOller of the Currency has place in his
bureau" A good many other men would
like to put their mothers-in-law in their
bureaus or box them away somewhere
Roxbury Advocate.
The Paris Beacon says: at is a no
ticeable fact none but bald-headed men
have ever had the courage to marry their
mothers-in-law." 1t is somewhat singu.
lar, for most of them would never have
been bald-headed but fer having moth
standardization Times.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
A Great stone.

The largest artificial stone in the world
is the one just finished and which is to
form the foundation for Bartholdi's Stat
Tie of Liberty on Bedloe's Island in New
York Harbor. The stone is made of
broken trap rock, sand, American and
foreign cement mixed with water
Twenty thousand barrels of cement were
used. The mixture for the stone was
emptied into the Jacket" or mold, and
then the surplus water squeezed out.
The stone rapidly hardened, and will
now bear one hundred tons to the square
foot. 1t is only expected to bear up five
tons to the square foot, but it will grow
harder for the next two years. 1t has
the color and grain of coarse gray sand
stone. 1t is sunk fifteen feet below the
floor of the front -and rises thirty-seven
feet above it, has a base ninety-ene feet
square, is sixty-sevet feet square at the
top, and Is fifty-two feet and ten inches
high. On top of this will be erected the
granate pedestal from which is to tower
in all its magnificent proportions the CO.
lossal work of the great French sculptor.
The casting of this mammoth monolith
evidences the extent of modern progress
in a signal way, especially when we i'm
agine how, by this concrete process,
Cheops could have SO much more easily
nodded his pyramid, and the Russian
Emperor spared the great undertaking
of removing to st. Petersburg the mon
ster rock which supports the equestrian
efhgy of Peter the Great.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
What to Take on q Journey.
Wide Awake.

To be helpful l give you one lady's list
of inevitables for the overland tour, ex-
pected to last two or three or four
months:
Three papers of crimping pins, five of
hairpins, five invisible front nets, five
elastic cord, three papers of pins, three
spools black sewing silk, six spools sew
ing cotton, the same of mending cotton,
two dozen boot buttons, one half dozen
tape, two dozen linen and pearl buttons,
skein linen thread for boot buttons, wax,
three ounces vaseline, the same of car
Donate of ammonia, dry, one ounce gum
tragacanth (fsr mucilage and bandoline)
four ounces gum camphor, one ounce
permanganate of potash, the same of pure
carbohc acid, the same of citric acid, one
half dozen of toilet soap, one half pound
powdered borax, two bottles lavender
water, one bottle shoe dressing, one box
ink-powder, one of elastic letter bands,
one ofmouth glue, two pounds thin note
paper, envelopes half as many, one half
dozen pencils, two small boxes pens.
This looks like an odd mixture but it
is all wanted. The ammonia and borax
are to soften the hard water on the Plains
for washing hands, the permanganate of
potash dissolved in water will soften the
skin, heal eruptions and neutralize bad
odors, which grieve TO say are too Of
ten found about the bedrooms of first
class hotels, or what pretend to be such.
You cannot always get lemons, and
tiny Chrystal of citric acid in a glass of
water will give you a morning lemonade
which will keep off the biliousness
which steals over one in the long Jour
ney with its changes of water and food.
OF course it is troublesome to take care
of ones self, but it lie also vexing 10 be
left at the hotel with a tearing headache
while all the rest are going up Cheyenne
Canyon, or to find yourself half blind
with malaria when you want to be en-
joying yourself between the orange
groves and drives at Los Angeles. Ofall
wretched things, to be sick on a pleasant
jo"rney is the most out of place and un-
happy.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
CHERUBs CHAPTERS.

What does baby say when it smiles
for the first time at its mother? IL be-
iieve | know you."-kentucky State
Journal.
A certain cure for spring fever is to
have cross baby in the house. They
will prevent everybody from becoming
lazy.-Buffalo Express.
Every man must sleep according to
his temperament" says prominent ply
sician. That physician does not know
much. Every mans sleep depends on
the temperament of his baby, or the
babies next door.-Philadelphia Call.
The New York Morning Journal SAYS
that babe is the oasis of married life.
There is nothing green about him, how
ever, when he makes his father, in a
ballet costume, walk UP and down the
room with him in the dead of Winter
Boston Budget.
Mabel married about three years and
mother of two babies. Miss Blank. of
New York, got the funniest wedding
present from her father. 1t was a Texas
ranch.
Pa with whom she is visiting well,
L hope for old Mr.. Blanks sake she will
take the hint.
Mabel-The hint? What hint?
Pa-To keep her nursery in the middle
of the ranch until her BABIES get old
enough to sleep nights.-Philadelphia
Call.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
ES'sr
THE PRINTER.

He stood by his accustomed place
With aching limbs and weary brain.
The hues of death were on his face
He thought that he had lived in vain.
LIES little day DIR w near its close
Soon all his hopes would be forgot
that long sleep, tn. graves repose,
Hard, hard indeed had been his lot.
But little longer could he strive,
His health had failed and he was poor,
His scanty wages scarce could drive
The hungry wolf from out his door.
Long years his hands had servei him well
In tangled words and complex thought,
But what twas for he could not tell.
What smallest good had all this brought
Fashion and wealth both met his view
With ever cold and naughty h art,
But IL the printer ONLY knew,
He still had played the strongest part.
Careworn and pale might be his face,
His passing power was over all;
Those little types when in their place
The Oldest wrongs may well appall.
o printer cease thy life To scan
Still do thy duty in thy place,
The noblest art that's known to man
Is to uphold and aid his race.
Cleveland Sentinel.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
A Confederate Chaplain.
Arkansaw Traveller

Among the first confederate troops
that went out from Arkansaw was Par.
son Geesmore who enlisted as a chaplain
He was a devout christian, and his pray
ers were regarded by the men as utter.
ances from higher power Just before
the battle of Jenkins Ferry, the old man
in sermon, said:
My dear boys, j have decided to &c
into the next fight with you. / don't
think that a man can properly preach
about the evils and sensations of war un.
less he has experienced the feeling OF
going into battle. Now, the next fight
in which we engage, shall have me num-
bered among its participants"
The old gentleman rode large gray
horse, and when preparations for the
battle of Jenkins Ferry were being made
he appeared ON his snowy charger
Some of the officers begged him to keen
out of danger, but with an expression OF
neroism, he replied that he would en-.
gage in the battle. The first artillery
fire from the enemy shot the horse from
under the old gentleman, and by the
time he settled himself on his feet. a
bullet came along and took off one OF
lis fingers. He attempted to be calm
but just then ball carried away his
right thumb, and wheeling around, the
old man struck determined trot for the
rear.
Hold on, parson ~ called some one.
Hold on, h-lp' he replied. "Ask a
man to hold on, when the whole id
universe is shooting at him. Take care
of your body, and the Lord will take
care of your SOUL"
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
The Language of Umbrellas.

There is language of umbrellas as o
flowers. For instance, put your umbrell;
i'll a rack, and it will indicate that i
will change owners.
To open it quickly in the street mean
that somebody's eye is going to be pu
out; to shut it, that hat or two is goin.
to be knocked Off
An umbrella carried over woman
the man getting nothing but the drip
pings of the rain, signifies counting.
When man has the umbrella and the
woman the drippings it indicates mar
rage.
To punch your umbrella into a persor
and then open it means 81 dislike you."
To swing your umbrella over YOU
head signifies 81 am making nuisance
of myself"
To trail your umbrella along the foot
path means that TIE man behind you il
thirsting for your blood.
To carry it at right angles under your
arm signifies that an eye is to be lost by
the man that follows you.
To open an umbrella quickly, it is said
will brighten u mad bull.
To put cotton umbrella by the side
of silk one signifies Exchange is nc
robbery"
To purchase an umbrella means al am
not smart, but honest"
To lend an umbrella indicates II am a
fool"
To return an umbrella means-welr,
never mind what it means, nobody ever
does that.
To turn an umbrella in gust of wind
presages profanity.
To carry your umbrella in a case signi-
lies it is a shabby one.
To carry an umbrella just high enough
to tear out mems eyes and knock of
mems hats, signifies 81 am woman"
To press an umbrella on your friend,
saying: ''Oh, do take it; had much
rather you would than notw signifies ly-
ing.
To give friend half of your umbrella
means that both of you will get wet.
To carry it from home in the morning
means ut will clear off"
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
PAPER PLATES
An Innovation ut Berlin that Is to be.
come General.

An Innovation at Berlin that is to be-
come General.
The latest application of paper is the
adoption of plates by some of the great
restaurants and cafes in Berlin. The In.
novation was first introduced during the
summer of last year by the adventurous
landlord of a much frequented open-air
restaurant. Every customer ordered
bread and butter, rolls, cakes. buns. or
similar articles, had them served TO him
on little paper plate, made of light pa
per maehe, adorned with pretty border
In relief, and having at the first glance a
great similarity to porcelain. Guests.
walters and hosts were all pleased with
the novelty. II saved the walters MANY
a deduction from their wages on account
OF breakages, which the very deftest and
cieverest can scarcely avoid when he
handles hundreds of pieces of crockery
during single afternoon and evening.
The paper plates were so cheap that the
landlord did not care to assert his own
ership over them, and bis customers
We're allowed to carry then away like
the pretty serviettes of thin paper used
In so many restaurants in Holland.
There was also considerable saving on
the time lost and the chance of accident
incurred in the cleansing of earthenware
pottery. The success of the experiment
has been so marked that the new species
Of plates is likely to be introduced into a
great number of restaurants.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21

as an article of food is fallacy. Taking
DIR. Edward Smiths figures, $50 grains of
carbon and "a grains of nitrogen are con-
tanned in one pound of potatoes; p
pounds of potatoes are required to sup
ply the amount of carbon contained in
one pound of bread ; and 81 pounds of
potatoes are necessary for supplying the
nitrogen of one pound of bread.
With bread at half pence per pound,
potatoes should cost less than half PEN
ny per pound, in order to be as cheap as
bread for the hard working man, who
requires an abundance of nitregenous
food.
My own observations in Ireland have
| fully convinced me of the wisdom of
Vim. Cobbett's denunciation of the pota-
to as a staple article of food. The bulk
that has to be eaten, and is eaten, in or
der to sustain life, converts the potato
feeder into a mere assimilating machine
during large part of the day, and rem
ders him unfit for any kind of vigorous
mental or bodily labor.
Ii | were the autocratic Gar of Ire
land, my first step toward the regenera-
ton of the Irish people would be the
introduction, acclimatising and dissem-
ination of the Colorado beetle, IN order
to produce a complete and permanent
potato famine.
The effect of potato-feeding may be
studied by watching the work of a pota-
to-fed Irish mower or reaper who comes
across to work on an English farm where
the harvest men are fed in the farm
house, and where beer is not excessive.
The improvement of his working pow
ers after two or three weeks of English
feeding is comparable to that of horse
when fed upon corn, beans and hay, af-
ter feeding for year on grass only.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21

sometimes part of jaw, sometimes a
portion of the vertebral column. The
caravans leave behind them every ami
NAL that can not keep up, and the jack
ais do not carry all the remains away.
And for several days we continued this
monotonous voyage, always in the saddle
always behind the same Arab, almost
without speaking.
Now, one afternoon, as'we were APP
preaching Bou-Saada, l saw afar off be-
fore us great dark mass, made larger by
the mirage, the form of which astonished
me. At our approach the vultures flew
away. 1t was a carcass, still Shiny in
spite of the heat, glossy as though warm
ished with putrid blood. The chest alone
remained. The limbs bad doubtless
been torn off and carried away by the
voracious devourers of the dead.
"Ahl There are travellers ahead fus,' u
said the Lieutenant.
Some hours later we entered a ravine,
a sort of defile-a frightful furnace, Dor
dered by high rocks, toothed like saw
sharp, pointed, raging, rabid, in revolt
as it were against the implacably Zero
cious sky Another corpse was lying there
and jackal that had been devouring it
fled away.
Then, as we passed out of the ravine,
gray heap OF something before us NOV
ed; and slowly, at the end ola dispropor
ately long neck, | saw the head of an
agonizing camel rise up. He was lying
there-had been lying there for
three or four days perhaps-on his
side, dying of fatigue and thirst. His
long members, that seemed inert. broken
all mixed up together, were stretched
upon the fiery soil. And, hearing us
coming, he lifted up his head like a
lighthouse. His forehead already gnaw-
ed by the sun, was but one wound, a
great running sore, and his resigned gaze
followed us. He did not utter a moan
did not make the least effort to rise. One
would have thought that, at he had seen
so many of hts brothers die in their long
voyages through desolatien, he knew too
well the mercilessness of man. Now it
was his turn; that was all And we pass
ed on.
But when 1 locked back a long time
afterward, saw still rising up from the
sand the lofty neck of the Abandoned
beast, watching to the end the last living
creatures he could ever behold, passing
beyond the horizon.
An hour later it was a dog, crouching
close to a rock, with jaws wide open and
fangs glittering-incapable of moving a
paw-with eyes fixed upon two vultures
who sat not far off, pluming themselves
while waiting for his death. He was so
possessed with terror of those terribly
patient birds waiting for his flesh, that
he never turned his head, and did not
even feel the stones that a spahi flung at
him.
And suddenly at the outlet of another
defile, | saw the oasis before me.
1t was an apparation never to be for
gotten. One has traversed endless plains
climbed mountains all craggy, bald, cal
cined, without ever seeing tree, a plant
a single green leaf; and 10. right before
you, at your very feet, is an opaque mass
of sombre verdure-as it were, lake of
foliage extended upon the sand. Then,
further on, the desert recommences,
infinitely to the indefnable
horizon, where it mixes with the sky.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
FEW ORATORS AT THE BAR.
A Judge Says 1t is because too Many
Young Lawyers Are Dudes.

Philadelphia Times.
Hardly young lawyer now cult
Yates the art of speaking to court or
| jury" said common pleas judge yester-
day. "When Daniel Dougherty and
one or two others shall be gone, there
will be no lawyer to whomi it will pleas
ure to listen. Mr.. Dougherty is, in fact,
almost the only man in practice who
has made oratory study. in my youth
Philadelphia lawyers were among the
best forensic takers of the day."
"How is the change to be accounted
for?"
ain degree to the fact that every
lawyer now hands up an epitome of his
argument in the shape of a paper book,
to be read at the courts leisure, and so
in part does away with the necessity of
being entertaining and impressive in his
speech to the judges"
"But what about his speeches to
juries?"
Lawyers now are bad jury takers,
| chiefly because they have deprived
themselves of the best field for the cul-
tivation of that branch of the art"
"What is the best field?"
The court of quarter sessions, the
court, in which we deal with crime
with liberty, with the hearts of men.
There you may acquaint yourself with
the intricacies of human nature and
learn how best 10 persuade the soul.
When / first came to the bar every law
yer appeared in the quarter sessions. |
tell you | have heard some splendid
speeches there. Now the sessions are
left for the most part to men who would
laugh at any exalted notion of the advO-
Gates Office as mere sentimentalism.
There are some good men, however, who
still 60 into the quarter sessions and they
deserve all honor"
"Why do so many stay out of that
COURT"
Because they are dudes. They don't
wish to have anything to do with men
charged with crime. A young man
comes to the bar with the fixed and
foolish resolution never to go into the
sessions. He fancies that to break that
resolution would be to lose caste Some
of these young handles are the sons of
men who did splendid work in the Grim
inal court. These dudes will take very
shady civil cause, but they would starve
to death rather than bury their false
pride and go into the sessions. When |
put one reason and the other together |
think l see why oratory at the bar is be-
coming q memory Only."
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
BABY BORN IN CAPTIVITY.
A Little Stranger Welcomed at jefferson
Market Prison-His Christening.
New York Journal.

ANoN YIN
Like Barnum's baby elephant, he is
the first one born in captivity; that is
the first in this prison. "The speaker
was Keeper Van Holland, of Jefferson
Market Prison, as he gazed admiringly
at the pink face of an infant abou. ten
hours old, which was peacefully slumber.
ing in the arms of Messenger McEvoy
what is the baby's name?" was ask.
ed.
ats mothers name is Mccartney, and
she has already christened the little one
'McEvoy McCloskey Mccartney"
why don't she give it a Christian
name?'
"Oh. his mother gays he cant have too
many Mes to his name"
Why she selected the above names
was explained by the keeper, who said
that Mrs. Mccartney, who is poor home
less woman, obtained shelter in the
prison on Saturday night. Keeper Nc
Closkey and Messenger McEvoy took a
great interest in her. They procured
the babes first clothing, and We'd with
each other in their attentions both to
the wait and its mother When Mrs
McCaffrey learned who her friends were
she determined tC name the baby after
both.
Many visitors 10 the court room and
prison were taken charge of by McEvOy
yesterday. who conducted them into the
matron's room to show them Little
Mac" the Jefferson Market baby.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
Work Wins.

Work is the great panacea for many
ills of mind and body. So don't be idle,
dawdling away precious time, waiting
for something to turn up" or that '1uck'
which rarely makes the purse plethoric.
Some philosopher has wisely said that
the difficulty with most people is that
they want to sit in the sunshine and
have good fortune come tumbling down
into their laps. Nature is an old dame,
however, and does not even give half a
loaf to man who can do his own loaf
ing. You must get your spindle and
distaf ready, and then Providence will
send you the fax to spin.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
Every nervous person should try Ca

Every nervous person should try Car
ters Little NERVE Pills. They are
made specially for nervous and dyspep-
tic men and women, and are just the
medicine needed by all persons who,
from any cause, dc not sleep well, or who
lail to get proper strength from their
food. Cases of weak stomach, indiges-
ton, dyspepsia, nervous and sick bead
ache, &c. readily yield to the use of the
Little Nerve Pills. particularly if COM
bined with Carriers Little Liver Plls
In walls ct Is cents.
Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-21
KISSING CASES.

The woman who is going on the stage
must never object to taking 'bus.-Bos-
ton Budget.
1t is the custom among the French to
kiss the forehead and not the lips. Not
much fun counting in France.-Burling.
ton Free Piess.
A contemporary publishes an article
headed Stage Kisses Unpleasant" Ii
does seem as though the jSlting of the
vehicle would be annoying.-Boston
Post. re-
A contemporary in halfcolumn ar.
tlcie discusses the question, "Why Do
women Laugh?" Well, many of chem
laugh because wise fools write halfcol-
umn articles on such subjects.-Boston
Star
A Brooklyn woman now in Jail for big
amy used in writing to the tenth man
she married addressed him as nv 'own
darling baby" Great Scott that's
enough to give all of us the Group and
cholera Observation-Disclosures News.
A contemporary publishes an article
headed Stage Kisses Unpleasant" II is
not surprising to learn that if a stage
kisses at all it kisses unpleasant. Is it
ANYTHING like the kissing of billiard balls?
Boston Star
A contemporary publishes an article
headed stage Kisses Unpleasant Ref
erence is probably made to the celebrat-
ed Emma Abbott stage kiss. But .'un-
pleasant" seems a mild word to use
Philadelphia Call.