Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1884-12-04
An Extra Judicial Haransue

Judge McCown, one Of the ablest
"carpet baggers'' who came to Ar
kansaw and assisted in the expert
mental work Of Demonstration" ]"
was, in many respects, remarkable
man. He had distinguished himself
at college; bad taken first prize for
an essay on THE Origin of Common
Law dad. not Inconsistent with
such achievements, had acquired an
appetite Tor the most potent drinks
TO be found in the neighborhood.
Shortly after his arrival in Arkansaw
he was elected, by the hurried method
which then prevailed, to the Office Of
circuit judge. His decisions were
political rather than legal, but he was
a man of such unexpected epigram,
such quaint cenceits and such pecu-
liar humor, tnat his rulings, instead
Of giving offense, often created
amusement.
One morning, while court was in
session in Camden, he entered the
room covered with mud and dripping
with water. Taking his seat on the
bench with violence rather than with
dignity, he opened court, and when
every one had become quiet, be turn
ed to the clerk and said:
"Mr. Clerk, enter o fine of five
hundred dollars against the Mayor Of
Camden. This morning the court ate
his breakfast as usual-soda water
and soft boiled egg-and started
toward this place with view of dis
charging his accustomed duties. He
had proceeded but a short distance
when board, comprising treach-
erous part of the disgraceful sidewalk
few up, and struck the court in the
countenance. knocked him down, and
still not satisfied, wallowed him in
the mud. The law of humanity de-
mands that the mayor should have
had good sidewalks put down, and
the ignorance of the law will not
free him from blame. Enter q fine
of five hundred dollars, Mr.. Clerk. !"
"Your Honor" said the city attor-
ney, who happened to be present; 81
do not think that the mayor is amen
able to the law of humanity, as you
term it. He had doubtless taken no
cognizance of the loose board"
''Mr. Clerk" said the Judge; "en-
ter fine of seventy-five dollars
against the city attorney for not
thinking that the mayor had taken
cognizance and also an additional fine
of one hundred dollars against the
mayor for not taking cognizance.
81 protest against this, )" exclaimed
the attorney.
''Mr. Clerk, enter fine of fifty
dollars against the city attorney for
protesting. This court wishes to say
he is tired of being slapped by boards
and bull-ragged by swamp lawyers.
This court has been in the state of
Arkansaw nearly one year, and as yet
has failed to see sober day. why
is this?' ask the freckled-faced sons
of ham-strung civilization. This
court would modestly reply that it is
on account of hurriedly made whisky.
The American people do not take
time enough in the preparation OF
their liquor"
''That amt the trouble, Jedge," +"
exclaimed an old squatter who had
been arrested for selling whisky
without license.
''What is the trouble, sir?"
"W'y. sab, the 'Mee,r;;ssan folks
drinks the whisky fore it has time to
git COOL"
"Mr. Clerk, credit this man with
fifty dollars for making sensible re-
mark. Now, sir" turning to the
squatter; "you can go home. This
country has no right to imprison a
man who has correctly estimated the
evils of a great social principle. y
Opie Read in N. 2. Mercury.