Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-04-19

PIN AND fO1NF.
b yon had Ne material. would j.
nAica lum punch7
In Texas when . man wishes 30 cnS
IN acquaintance his procedure - simple.
He uses . bowie-knife.
ADVICE 10 married men: Put safety
valve upon your self-esteem II You do
Rot want to get "blown up"
ST. LOUIS editor found o nickel in
The street and wrote half column edi-
torial ON "Our Increase Of Wealth"
"PRnoNER, have you ever been con-
victedY "No, your Honor; I have
always employed Arst-class lawyers.
JOINS. getting up from his dinner, in
aquiet way remarked TO his landlsdy
that he had found everything On the
table cold except the ice-crear.
THE giraffe is a very timid animal.
His neck is so long that when his beart
comes into his mouth it takes him half
. day to get it back where it belongs.
IT is learned that sharks are very
fond of cats as food. Now let some
body invent method of teaching sharks
to climb over woodshed roofs and back
yard fences.
BRILLIANT and impulsivs people,"
said lecturer on physiognomy, "have
black eyes, or, if they don't have 'em,
they're apt to get them, il they're too
impulsiye."
SoMR one wrote 10 Horace Qreeley
inquiring if guano was good to put in
potatoes. He said it might do for those
II
tobacco and rum, but he preferred gravy
and butter.
LITTLE pair al gloves thai yet
Retain the sme.l Of clover,
Aud just unge of mignonetts;
turn them vaguely over,
And marvel how the girl bsaed
(TLat night she promised 70 10 true)
Oouid jam humber seven nst
Into pslry number two
"PLAzE, mum, wud We obige Q poor
bye wild light2 Sure, you've only got
TO give one glance Of yer purity eye ut
me pipe, end it'll shine like the shtars."
He got The light and good dinner be-
side. M,ra: Always speak the truth
in presence of the fair Sex.
TEACHER of spelling class - "First
10y may spell foot-tub and give defini-
ton" First boy - F-O-o-t-t-u-b
tub to wash the feet in" Teacher
"Second boy may spell knee-pan."
Second boy" K-n-e-e-p-a-n--a pan TO
wash the knees in" He didn't 60 MP
head.
BGroBnt . marriage,
With wOnderons care,
She seeks the mirror,
Ahd bangs her hsir
After Tire marriage,
she grabs her slipper.
And 6sngs her hoir.
Nor long ago, in French provincial
theater, a baritone made fearful croak.
Kisses and laughter in the audience.
Then the artist came gravely forward
and saluted the audience: "Messisurs,
I discover that / have issued Q false
note; withdraw it from circulation"
A BRIGHT little girl was sent 10 get
some eggs, and On her way back
stumbled and fell, making sad havoc
with the contents Of her basket. won't
You catch il when you get home.
though /" exclaimed her companion.
"No, indeed, WON'T" she answered
"Tve got Q grandmother.
THE East Indian Prince OF Gondd il
ON the eve Of matrimony. He IL TO lead
seven happy maidens TO the altar all 1t
ooce. The troubled life Of an East In.
dian Prince has its oompensations. just
think Of it Eight souls with but sin
gle thought, eight hearts that beat -
one i--Boston 7fanscvips
"MY gracious, child" ssid The old
lady TO . boy who offered TO carry her
sachel for 3 cents, "where did You
get those hands FRONT" Tho lad Rased
thoughtfully for . moment at his pair
Of Hippers, that looked like bunches Of
young onions, and then answered proud.
~: 81 belong to the Tontine Baseball
Cub"
"rp laugh il I should tall and break
my neck" jestingly remarked James
Msloney. Of Tappan, N. T., while In the
act Of descending from q fall pear tres.
The next moment he lsy upon the
ground with his neck broken. But he
didn't laugh. What internal liars some
men are. ~
In order to cure her husband q drink.
ing, . colored woman in South Carolina
put concentrated lye in his whisky bot
tie. The last words he uttered wero to
the effect that it would be q relief to him
70 drop into Hsdes 70 cool of, and the
last words the widow spoke to the out
side world - she lodged into jail were {:
81 nevsh SEED SIGH weak stomachs - do
uiggahs are gettin' nowadsys; dsy oan1
stand nufani"