Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-11-05
PITH AND PorSr.

1T 10 sara thet good book ID the
best companion man can have This
is especially so it happens 10 b .
handbook. s
In Texas the mosquitoes are 20 an
noying that even Maj. Penn, the. dis
tinguished revivalist, cannot keep the
congregation nsleep.-- Terds Sijli,sgs.
An old French soldier recently died
in Michigan at the age Of o. Had he
lived few ycars hnlger he would have
been old enough to start out a ''boy
preacher
HEARD at Saratoga: "What Il that
girls namee She looks very awkward
and rustic At this garden party II
don't know exactly, but ! should say
she was Miss F'iit.
I'm what condition was the patriarch
Job q the ead ~ NJ Ais2* aaksd !
Sunday school teacher % 8 quiet.look-
ing boy at the foot Of the class. dead, =
calmly replied the boy.
NEW style cabmess (to military chap
on the avenue)--"H Captain p
Supposed military chap--"Well, y-e.s-
SO they tell me-" Cabman (sotto vcce) -
"The bloody mugwump."
INNOCENT wife: "What do you mean,
Charlie, by .'straddling blindY I
should think it was so much easier to
ride rail, If that isa way you have Of
initiating men at the club"
BLuFFKIN and his wife had been in
dulging in family discordance, and
finally Mrs. b. exclaimed: "Well, I've
got my opinion of any man who talks
as you do" 20, have you? Well, You
can keep it if you want to-" mo,
can't, either. It's SO awful bad already
that It won't keep"
"BRowN is the most quarrelsome man
in the world. He drinks hard and is
always in debt" II know it" @And
yet he is your friend2" Yes, we never
had o disagreement since knew him. /"
How have you managed isY' HE has
no necessity to quarrel with me. !
never lend him any money"
II TELL yer wot, boys," exclaimed
old Ben. the toughest man OF the camp ;
II tell yer wot, boys. it made TELLER
feel kinder water round the lids TO
hear that little chit-of q thing a-scttin'
up thar like an angel a-sayin' her
prayers SO cute; Mary had little
lamb, or sunthen or tnet sort"-Paris
Free Tongue.
Two CITIZENS of Utah recently strug-
gled for the possession OF q watermel-
on. The stronger OF the twain was
victorious, and was about to walk of
with the prize when his antagonist
pulled knife and stabbed him in the
heart. Danger turks in the watermel-
on from every conceivable point Of
view The safest plan is to eat CLAIMS
San Francisco Ne,Us- Letter.
THE SHIP COMES IN.
For years we have waited,
In hope and In glee.
Watching ths bill0ws
scanning tbs eeA
For ong ship ON the ocean,
Lad nwtth gold.
To come and enrich MS.
Th tai Is soon told:
No lonetr we're waiting,
For sorrows our cup;
The shtp hes come In,
But It's bottom side mp.
-s-khStGde}ph phia Call * @sssss 4 ssss, .
An old woman NAMED Gssdon. in
the north of Scotland. was liatsning "a
the account given in Scripture Of Solo
mons glory. which was read TO her BY
little female grandchild. When the
little girl came to tell OF the thousand
camels which formed part of the Jewish
sovereign's live stock-"What!" cried
the old woman; "A thousand Camp
bells, say ye? The Campbells are an
auld clan. sure eneuch; but look an ye
dinna see the Gordons tool
An old fellow VINO lives among the
Ozark Mountains came to Little Rock
to visit his son. We'll, father" said
the son when the old gentleman had d
been in town several days, "how do you
like the city," "Pretty we'll, but
amt got used to the whisky. That liq-
nor up there in the jug seems to have Z
quar- taste about it" "Great Cesar
you haven't been drinking ont Of that
Jug" "Yes, but as say. the liquor
tastes quar-" "My stars, father, You
have been drinking turpentinel" I" "Thaa
50? Well as / said, il tastes quar-.
didn't know but that j. was the way
with all town liquor."-Arkasssa,t
Traveller.
The Young Parsons Retert.
Bishop Wilmer, Protestant Episco'
pal, of Alabama, is Sns Of the readiest
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