Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1884-06-06

VOL. -, No. !.
NEWS COMMENTS.
LYNCH is the dark horse of the convention.
BEETHOVEN was stone deaf, says an exchange.
That accounts for bis love of music.
PARNE11 thanks America for her aid. Don't
mention it, Mr.. ParnelL we are used to it.
HAS Sammy Tilder nephew or nelce!
We wonder if he will ever be called Uncle Sam.
FRIDAYS St. Paul Dispatch was dated May
80. Castle must have been inspecting "oils'
that day.
The May festival in Chicago has been grand
success and now the June spree is upon them
in all its vermilion hilarity
PROFESSOR SWING says ev~ry person is
lunatic once in while. The ministerial lum-
mary knows how it is himself.
OREGON has ut-worms.-Exchange Now it
che will cut hay and prepare to cut her wheat,
the public will have more respect for her.
Mr.. Malone says he islands ready to stake
his life he can carry Virginia for Arthur" How
= careful he is not to make good respectable wa
ger.
APRIL saw eighty eight railroad accidents.-
Exchange. No wonder it covered its paralyzed
eyes with its bloody hands and forever vaniahes
from our view,
Rev. J. NJ. Savage of Boston hopes the time
will come when women will not have to go into
kitchen.-Exchange. Thank heaven, we are
not all Savages.
DICK OGLEsBY wants to be a dark horse.
How unfortunate it. = for ambitious Dick that
he did not come !fom Mississippi and hit
name is not Lynch.
AN English poet wrote Into all lives some
rain must fall'' 1t is now time for the Ame1l
can poet to write that into some "lives' now ir
Chicago some snow must fall.
An item to the effect that Grand Forks hal
fire bugs is now going the rounds. Winship ii
liable to make more startling discoveries thar
this if he don't swear off soon.
FIVE prominent musical ladies have the eam'
christian name, namely, Emma Albina Emma
Thursbv. Emma Juch, Emma Nevada and Emm'
Abbott.-Ex. And Whoa Emma.
The Rev. DR.. Fowler, recently elected
Methodist bishop, painted calf jet black whe'
he was student-Exchauge. Then, the ide'
is not original with Barnuln, after all.
WILL our Fourth be a fzzle?-Sioux City
Times, Don't know Charley. We don't ever
know what your first was, and have nevel
heard it hinted that you already have three.
FLORIDA is shipping green corn north W.
will give our southern friends to understand
that we are ''on to their racket" They cant
kill US off in this way. We intend to vote in
the fall.
ANNA CHA1upA, St. Paul, appears to have
drowned herself through grief for her dead
lover.-Phila. Press. Well, it was a little mean
to drop off and leave Anna just as the ice cream
season arrived.
THE thief who robbed the Roman Catholic
church of St. Charles Borromeo, of the sacred
host and eiborium. has not been arrested.-N.Y T.
Times. Nor will he be; for with the sacred
host he has flown.
The only arrival yesterday at Castle Garden
was the steamship Celtic, from Liverpool, with
500 passengers.-N. Y. Journal. Of this num-
ber you can safely count on an addition of 800
policemen to America's force.
PRINCE BISMARCK says, "When 1 appear in
the streets am no longer on individual, but an
event." If he ever appears on an American
street when the newsboys are out, he will be a
total wreck-a bloody phenomenon.
A CHINESE lady recently arrived in New York
and expressed her surprise at the magnitude OF
the national female foot. Wait until she gets
into Chicago. Her olive-curved eyes will start
like shooting stars from their sockets.
AMAN in Pitzburg the other night lectured
on "Why am De"ooieS. -. --'.' -.
should take ARE of him. While ne may oe
harmless at present, his insanity is liable to
assume dangerous phase at any time.
THr oowardly militia officers at Cincinnati
are fouud guilty.-Exohange. Thank provl-
dence no such charge canbe made against the fair
unt.rni.hed name Of Bismarck's Guards !! !!
And thew h.ve been organized several long
weeks, too. ----------. s asg. .a- a
=, .1nr denounoes the story that he said the
--,,,;..n c.nndida could not be elected. OF
.,rr.a - never said it. It's mistake OF the
.anortar. He said that unless . certain &c tie
-. f.o,, Maine be nominated the republican
candidate cannot be elected.
5s4a snf tsTOmmY UpmOre," :"