davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20
HUMOROUS plCAiNGS.

"Do cats think ?" queries a writer
Yes, they sometimes think that the
man up in the window with the night
cap on is mighty poor shot with a
Soot-jack.
"The half dollar of 1925 is not rare, "
says Philadelphia authority. Indeed,
no. 1t is the half dollar of 1884
that is rare. .-LouiScWe Courier jour
nal.
When Clara was asked what she
would do if a uice young gentleman
would ask her hand in marriage, she
naiyely said : II don'J think Ia no"
- IonkerS Salesman.
An absent minded teacher amused
her class at the re-openiug of school
the other day. Having carefully re.
ceived the names IN the class from
each member, she said II shall now
call the roll, to see if you are all pres
ent."
Mother "Do hurry up, Robbie !;
unless you hurry more you'll meyer be
anything of a business man when yen
grow up" Robbie 40, yes, will,
ma. When | grow up AID go into bus
iness, IN have lot of ks to do nv
hurryhhg for me, y Philalelph
Call.
1t is claimed thar new species Of
hippopotamuS has been sc0v red on
remote part of the River Nile. This
Intelligence will Ee received with IA de-
gree of great satisfaction. Next to an
other professional base ball CLUB there
was nothing this country Sea'ned for
with a moreyearning yearnfulneSS Uhin
IA new species of hippoppLamus. Nor
riSto,CR Herald.
whats the matter with your eye,
old man somebody AiC you 20
Yes. | told Smith last night he
was no gentleman and he pasted me
one" Did you wipe out the in
suit ?" Il didn't, but | went right
home and my wife wiped it out as
well as she could. | may have To
outgrow some of it. Good day there
comes Smith now. Burlington Ha,rk-
eye.
The other evening quite a chill W as
in the air, and George ventured out
on Sixth Avenue with bis girl. The
night air is chilly he said, with lit
tie shiver If you were more warm
ly clad would ask you to have some
ice cream; but that thin muslin dress,
and I am not at all cold y the
girl interrupted. To be sure l might
have thrown something over my
shoulders but, George, dear, think
how warmly l am wrapped up in
you At this Georges fears gave
way, and a few moments later a
smartly-dressed waiter was deterrent
tally inclining his ear.-N Y, Inde-
pendent.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20

to occupy the fashionable houses that
are deserted and to help themselves to
wholesome food.
MISUNDERSTANDING the past twenty
four hours there have been AZ deaths in
this city by cholera, including the fatal
cases in hospitals. At Melun in the
last forty y-eight hours there have been
Z cases and deaths. Two deaths from
cholera occurred in Toulon today. Sew
eral fresh cases have been reported. An
actor was seized with vomiting last
night as he went upon the stage aud
died shortly afterward Of apopleXy.
The city is dirter than ever.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20
Diphtheria IN Chicago Schools.

CHICAGO, November, 1.-Diphtheria
has broken out among the scholars of
one of the public schools of this city
and several fatal cases are already re-
ported. The Health Department Off
cials are considering the ACCESSIBILITY of
closing the school, The Health Com
missioner declares that diphtheria is of
a certainty epidemic in the city. One
family is reported as having lost six
children out of seven in the past two
weeks through the disease.
The Coachman's Wife Going on the
Stage.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20
General News.
A Ghost in a Jail.
Chip Smith, Who was Hanged, Re-
turns With Hangman's Moose.
NEW VEN, Nov. IL.

NEW HAVEN, Nov. IL.
Aghost has appeared in the County
Jail in this city. Two years ago Chip
Smith was hanged in the Jail. Last
week means aud sepulchral sounds
were claimed to have been heard by
some of the prisoners, but nothing was
thought about it by the authorities.
Last night one of the gentlemen who
saves lodging by staying in one of the
cells was startled from his sleep by
hearing series Of means. He got off
his cot, and looked out the window,
thought The noise was caused by the
tree boughs rubbing together and went
to bed again. Again the noise began
and a something oozed in between the
bars and stood by his cot.
The ghost held long hangman's
Tope in one hand and waved the other.
After it had come IN it stood on the
window sill and made a speech to the
terrified prisoner
4 am chip Smith, it said. Il have
come back to my old cell first of all. |
am returned to take vengeance on
those who were my friends but deserted
me-
According to the prisoner the ghost
made quite a speech. The prisoner
tainted and told his story in the morn
ing. Other prisoners claim to have
had similar experience. There is
panicky feeling in the jail, even among
the employees, and the prisoners are
greatly wrought up oyer their spook.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20
The Chole ra in Paris.
NO Abatement of the Epidemic
The Daily Record Of Mortality.
PARlS.NOvemhar -

PARIS, November 12.
1t is not clearly known how the
cholera originated in the Breteuil A.
sylum for Old People. 1t is supposed
however, that it was bro ught in by
some inmate returning from a holiday.
SO far A deaths haYe occurred in the
asylum. The mortality is the greater
among the men than the women. There
are altogether $50 inmates in the
asylum. The district round about is
healthy. The nuns fearlessly attend
the patients in the asylum, where the
chapel has en- converted into a choI-
era ward. Steps are being taken to re.
move the troops of the garrison to bar
racks outside the city. MULES Valles
has an article in the Crida Peun7e
which urges the people who dwell in the
slums of Paris to migrate to the veal
thier parts of the city. He tells them
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20
The Washington Monument Nearly
Completed.

WASHINGTON, No1em Der 12.-The
washington Monument to-day reached
a greater height than that of any other
structure in the world, being five hun
dred and twenty feet tea inches above
the floor of the monument. The next
highest structure is the spire of the
Cologne Cathedral, which towers five
hundred and fifteen feet aboye the floor
OF the building. 1t has been estima ted
that 1t will take but twenty-five wol k
ing days to complete the monument, so
that there is no doubt of it's being fin
ished in time for its dedication on the
22d of next February.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20
a Story Of Landlord and Tenants

George Worley tells some extraya-
CANT gopher tales about Florida. He
says on one occasion a certain gentle
man went to Florida with the idea of
getting rich from an orange grove and
was exceedingly anxious to buy land.
a tract was offered him at a price that
he thought would be very cheap for any
kind OF land in any country. and he
bought it and paid for it before he ever
saw it. After getting his deed he con-
cluded ht would ride outand look at it.
H. found it so full of gopher holes that
1t was impossible for him to ride over
it, and he hitched his horse and under
took to walk over it. He did not 90
Tar, however, until he became so dis
gusted that he pulled out his deed and
sticking it in gopher's hole, said:
"Here, d-m you, you have got posses.
sion and l will give you the title also. -
He then quit Florida in disgust.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20
ADVICE TO MOTHERS

Are you disturbed at night and broken of
your rest by SICK child suffering and rryng
with pain OF cutting teeth? lfso. send at 1nc1
and get bottle OF Mrs. WINsLOW's SOOTUIyG
SYRUP FOR CHILDREN TEETUING. Its yalu, is
lncalculable. 1t will relieve the poor little SUI
lerer immediately. Depend upon it, mothers.
there Is no mistake about it. 1t cures dysentery
ana dlarrhOea, regulates the stomach and
bowels, cures wind collie. SOftens the gums. re
to the whole system Mrs WINsLOW's SOOT1111
ING SYRUP FOR CHILDREN TEETHING is pleasant
40 the taste, and is the prescription, OF one OF
the oldest and best female nurses and physicj
TINS III the United States, and is for sale 6l =
druggists throughout the world. Price o.
cents bottle. 81
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-11-20

NEW YORK, November, 11.-Mana-
ger Amberg, of the Thalla Theatre, to-
day concluded an engagement with
Mrs. Victoria Schilli ng- Huelskamp
Miss Morosini] for six months for con-
certs and after that fer opera bouffe.
She appears next Sunday at the ThalIa
Theatre in sacred concert, and goes
from here to Boston, thence all over the
West. Mr.. Amberg says she has a
good voice and is ZEAL artist.
Overjoyed with Cleveland's Elec-
tiOn.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
Spain's Auction Mart.

The Rincon Is the auction mart, whittier
all the trash of the kingdom finds Its way
for sale. Bric-a.brac, relics, curiosities and
antiquities are the fine names they give to
these dregs. Let US have q look at them.
The Rincon consists of number of wooden
sheds and stalls in the street, and a number
of shops which surround the stalls. The
entire space is filled with old traps. Here
are few that attract my attention: A
Moorish saddle, SIS; lot of Roman copper
coins, So; a Spanish dollar of 1419, S12 !;
ditto of 1763, So; braziers for warming the
hands and feet, (still used in Madrid), from
81 to $40; French Generals sword, cap
tured in the peninsula war, the hlt set with
brilliants, $500; Moorish muskets, any price;
knick-knacks for devotional purposes, all
prices.
Mingled with these antiquities were
heterogeneous lot Of modern goods, chiefly
cheap cutlery from Sheffield, cheap iron, tin,
brass and pewter wares from Birmingham,
and cheap cotton goods from Barcelona. Be-
sides the stalls and shops, the ground was
covered with goods, while the air was filled
with the shouts and clamors Of the statesmen
and women. "a travelling pistol for his ex-
cellency" 0his meant my humble self; the
pistol was o double-barreled muzzle loader
of the year y. "'Twill serve to keep off
the bandits of Catalonia" "Hear that
wench Morales. She is abusing my Catalo-
mia, and she, too, from thieving Toledo ~
"Buy ticket in the lottery, senior. The
wheel turns tomorrow, and sure your hand
some face will bring you luck!" had heard
similar arguments In Cork. The smallest
coin will buy something on the rlncon, 1t is
always thronged with people, and TO the curl
ous traveller is not bad place in which to
study the history of Spain-the past In he
curiosities offered for sale, the present in the
appearance and manners of the people who
sell them, and the future IN the misn of the
purchasers.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11

Henry Watterson in the Courier Journal
thus gives the history and analysis of pop
ular drink:
Some cranky Virginian century or two
ago betook himself to the preparation Of q
new beverage, but somehow he became
mixed In his calculations As he proceeded,
and produced soup. He pronounced it
good, and called 1t .egg1nogg. We classify
egg-nogg among the soups advisediy, for It
hath due consistency, rich amount Of an
imal nutriment, and withal the process of
cooking involved, for, as the raw liquor of
concoction, whether whisky, brandy or rum,
is poured into the cold conglomerate of
beaten eggs, 1t Immediately cooks them. No
drink Is richer or more generous than this
soup In respect to Its immediate effect on the
palate, and none Is more insidious and
tricky when Il gets in It's work upon the In
terror viscera and gizzard. A hot internecine
feud promptly arises between the several In
compatible ingredients, and they proceed to
dissolve partnership, each element--the
whisky, the eggs, the sugar, and the milk
setting up on Its OWE account. The result
Is confusion and chaos. The liver and the
lights also become involved In the democrat
ization in the neighborhood, and ultimately
the blood. md tAs nerve centers. The pa
tlens, In fscs, falls Into stage.in which no
would bs liAbls 10 be called drunk ordinari--
~, though. In fact, be il merely the victim
Of overseeing on . most treaeherous soup.
There have been more sfaliavsntions than
this soup. but rs would mot csnaure tbs in-
ventor.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11

Will Kieth Is very clever drug clerk who
compounds cross.bone prescriptions for q
leading drug house on Washington street.
He is very genial young man, and some OF
his many friends often call upon him at bis
place of business. Last week while enter.
tanning three or four Y. NJ. c. A. boys, q
man entered with prescription which was
promptly compounded, and with an air OF
"see-my- -modus-operandi," he threw the
package before the customer with:
twenty-five cents, please"
The man, who was almost deaf, threw out
five cents and started out.
twenty-five cents, sir" said W. K. in q
louder tone.
"There is your five cents" said the d. M,
pointing to the nickel and walking toward
the door.
81 said Twenty-Five CENTS" at the top of
his voice.
81 say there is your five cents" said deafy
as he passed through the doorway.
Our affable d. c. allowed bewildered ex-
preston to hover over his handsome features
for but moment, when 1t was dispelled by
bland smile as he remarked:
80, we'll, let him go; there's three cents
profit anyway"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
Camphor.

Camphor is made in Japan in this way
After tree Is felled to the earth it Is cut up
into chips, which are laid In tub on large
iron pot partially filed with water and
placed over slow FIRE. Through holes In
the bottom of the tub steam slowly rises
and. heating the chips, generates oil and
camphor. OF course the tub with the chips
has closely fitting cover. From this cover
. bamboo pipe leads to succession Of other
tubs with bamboo connections, and the last
Of these tubs is divided into two compart-
msnts, one above the other, the dividing
door being perforated with small holes to
allow the water and oil to pass to the lower
compartment. The upper compartment Is
-upplied with > straw layer which catches
and holds the camphor In crystal in deposit
- u passes 10 the cooling process The
camphor Is then separated from the straw,
packed In wooden tubs and u ready for the
market. The oil h used BY the natives for
Illuminating and other purposes.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
\ Royal Horsewoman
London Letter.


Elizabeth Amalia Eugene, Empress of Aus
tria, Is perhaps the keenest horsewomAn In
Europe to-day. II is no small compliment
to the attractions of these islands that the
Empress Of Austria and Queen of Bohemia
and Hungary, desiring to seek health and
recreation In the open air, should desert the
broad plains Of the countries over which her
husband holds sway to seek the delights of
an English hunting field.
IL is about six years since she first made
her appearance in the hunting field In this
country. 1t was at celebrated meeting in
Leicestershire, where, without any prelimi-
nary flourish Of trumpets, the Empress rode
into the field and cantered to covert side,
many being unaware of her identity. The
generally 'correct" appearance of the lsdy,
the admirable cattle on which masters and
servants and well.known cavalier In charge
were mounted. drew attention to the small
csvslcade, and soon Il became abundantly
apparent that the Empress, who had come to
England to hunt, knew perfectly well what
wa requisite. and could hold her own with
the best. "Hands," aseat," and knowledge
of pace, 1t was observed, were all possessed
In high degree BY this imperial lady, and
pilot or guide not only very often found his
place . sinecnre. but on many occasions had
to do ell he knew TO live the place. She has
made several visits since, both TO Irelsnd and
70 England, hunting with the Westmeath
hounds In the former, and with Sir Watkin
Wynn's In The latter.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
Women Who Tell Their Ages.
Pol Mnll Gnzette

The common objection among woman
kind to letting their ages be known is not
shared by the ladies of Japan, who actually
display the facts a. to their age In the ar-
rangement of their hair. Girls from nine 10
fifteen wear their hair interlaced with red
Grape, describing half circle round the head,
the forehead being left free with curl at
each side. From fifteen to thirty the hair is
dressed very high on the forehead, and put
up at the back in the shape OF fan or but
terfy, with interlacings Of silver cord and .
decoration Of colored balls. Beyond thirty
. woman twists her hair round shell pin
placed horizontally At the back Of the head.
Widows also designate themselves, and
whether or not they desire to marry again.
One may compare with this re mark able hir-
suite honesty Of the japanese story told In
one OF the American papers Of the reluctance
OF American women TO adopt any such can
did policy. A theatrical manager was pro-
ducing farce In which one OF the characters
was to be bald woman, and II 90 happened
that the actress who was cast for the pars
had no hair on the top Of be hesd. Bnt Ia.
stead Of availing herself Of this natural ad-
vantage she wore wig over the bare spot.
and laid thereon some pslpably false bald
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
A LAKESIDE MuSING,

Chicago Tribune
oh the snow, "The Beautiful Snow"
Filling the papers where'er we go;
Over the latest news, over the "ads,"
Over the cut of the last liver pals;
Soiled,
Loaded,
Knocked into "pi,"
Beautiful snow" evermore meets the eve.
Flying to kiss the waste baskets cheek,
launched on by goats in a frolicsome freak,
Beautiful Snow" coming in by each mail,
Makes every editor quake and turn pale.
Oh the snow, "The Beautiful Snoww
How all the people who wrote it blow;
Claiming each verse as their own priceless
gem
Nemesis waits for the last one of them.
Writing,
Lying,
Always on hand,
As proud as colt in the rear of band;
And even the dogs, with bark and bound
Sniff the air in disdain when poets around
The town Is alive, and mighty poor show
Would be given the author Of Beautiful
Snow"
How the wild crowd goes swaying along,
Each with copy, well-kept, of the song;
How the smart critics mount four flights OF
~ stairs, .-s--~+asa-s.-~ s---aess-. aaz#aao ~
Tackling the editor in squads and in pairs,
Putting,
Blowing,
Upstairs they 90,
To tell what they know about Beautiful
Snow"
Constant subscriber" is there from Racine,
" Reader" Scrutator," and "yindex," ]
ween.
Then to them all speaks the editor bold:
Don't get ratified; it's you, and not me,
that's been sold"
"once was pure as the snow-but dropped;
Dropped like the snowfiake-until I was
stopped;
Dropped, till the sidewalk and / coalesced
Dropped, as the red sun was sinking to rest.
Cursing,
Snorting,
Dreading to rise,
With anguish at heart and with tears i'm my
eyes.
Mourning the fate that had landed me there,
Chilled by the blasts of the keen winter air,
Merciful God! what terrible blow
To slip and fall down on the beautiful snow.
How strange it should be that this beautiful
verse,
Stead of making men better should make
them all worse!
How strange it would be If, in Christmas
tides glow,
We should find the real author of Beautiful
Snow
Painting,
Freezing,
Dying alone!
Would we give him crust, or well-pol-
ished bone?.
Not much! We would instantly kill him, and
Wrap him up in the work of his misguided
pen. ......
Let us get out our shotguns and cheerfully 90
On hunt for the man that wrote beautiful
Snow"
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
The Hairpin Craze

"a crank"
"What breed?"
"a very common one just at this time.
He's hairpin crank"
.'What do you mean?"
"Why, simply what said. It's new
crazs that has struck all In heap those pc
culiarly ratified. .pated individuals who have
been wont to burn the midnight lamp COM
posing sonnet to my mistress eyebrows.
As small boys used to gather postage stamps
and the wee girl fill her button. string, so do
these tender hearted youths COLLECT hairpins.
They watch the ladies' as they pass along the
streets, at parties, balls, aud in the store on
shopping excursions, and when q hairpin
works loose and falls to the ground or floor
it is quickly picked up, the lady's name dis.
covered, If possible, and the hairpin, proper
ly labeled, Herewith goes to swell the col
lection. The bolder of the hairpin collect
ors will succeed in picking loose one from
lady's back hair without her knowing 1t. /
was invited the other evening to inspect
collection of the these relics of beauty gath
cred together by . Seventh ward young man.
He had 800 of them, and they all bore the
name of the charming wearers, including all
the changes of fore and aft on the name of
Smith, from Arabella to lola, and from plain
Smith to Schmith and Smyth. One of the
pins, my delectable companion informed me,
was from the head of one Of the leading So
ciety bellies of the city, and cost him $5 to
secure IL, = rival collector having obtained
the precious trophy and sold out to him for
that amount"
"What do they do with them ?"
"The same as the boy did with his postage
stamps, or the girl with her button strings
keep them to look at and admire. The craze
has just struck the West. It originated
among the dudes of Boston about q year
ago, and has just arrived. In all probability
1t will die out In single season, as 1t seems
too foolish to endure long,
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
POETRY.
THE DEBUTANTE.

Have you got the jellies made, mother,
Are the sandwiches da tait-
Are the salads wrought and the wine al
bought
For the splurge on New Years day.?
You look serene as a regnant queen,
But there'll be some hitch, / fear,
For I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
Ny dress Is such daisy, mother,
What wonder If am vain;
'Tis white pekay, decollete,
With princesse skirt, en- train;
That's why l yearn and impatient burn
e. Forthe splurge that is, oh, SO near
For I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
Jack says he will come ut ten, mother,
And tarry the rest of the day
Why turn up your nose-you don't suppose
He'd dare to stay away!
Though Jack is proud and hates crowd,
Pm certain he will be here,
For I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
So call me at half-past eight, mother,
Don't let me sleep till nine
I've crimped my hair, and over the chair
I've thrown my dresses fine;
At half-past eight-now don't be late
Come early, . mother dear,
For I'm to receive this year, mother
I'm to receive this year.
The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
Novel-Reading Made OdIous.

A bitter wag, made angry by the ever In.
creasing output Of novels, has devised new
and bitter antidote for the appetite for 70.
nance. He declares that he will write q
supplement to every modern love story, to be
sold at half price, setting fsrth the matr
monial adventures and experience of the
hero and heroine. The sweet and pathetic
maiden with the mild blue eyes and the gol-
den hair Is 10 be developed into the fat and
ruddy shIew with tendency to quarrel with
her husband and row her servants. The
gallant gentleman with the long moustache
and the silver voice is, on his part, to be
ruthlessly pictured marching up and down
bis bed room in airy attire, with a saualling
baby In his arms, redolent of sour milk and
catnip. The will Of the rich old uncle,
which brings wealth and happiness at the
end OF the first volume, will be proved q
forgery In the second. What with the upset.
ting of every pretty conventionalIty and the
disclosure Of the inevitable conditions into
which no well-bred novelist ever follows his
characters, this cynic hopes to make novel
reading nauseous and novel writing as un-
profitable as 1t Is dark industry.