The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-04-10

NJ. Antole Dulac, of Paris, advertises
nimsels as the professor of a new art
that of teaching parrots. As rule, it
IS the safest course to educate ones own
parrot. Ready-made elocutionists are
not always reliable, The lady president
Of suburban Dorcas society who buys
a pretty poll from apoor seafaring man
is liable to be shocked some time or
another BY the racy language of the
forecastle, and the parrot that has had
its schooling on board Thames barge
is apt to have an inconvenient memory
for phrases which had much better have
been forgotten. The Partisan professor
would, of course, instruct his class of
birds In none save the most genteel OF
phrases. But parrots, no DOUBT, talk at
random, and say more than they have
been taught-and nine times out of ten
the most irrelevant context-everyn now
and again hitting Of a remark which
comesin so exquisitely pat for the oc-
casion that every one is astonished. The
fact is, our world is very small, and,
like the fools 20 Lord, sirr' it viii be
found that a man might really get
through life with very few sentences
indeed, and yet be considered of an av-
erage intellect. A parrot has only to
90 on saying silly thing upon every
opportunity that offers, and the right
| chance is certain to come round at last,
when its silly speech at once becomes
the happiest possible. For instance,
there was bird that said nothing but
Here's pretty 60" and this was, as 4
rule, neither opposite nor funny. But one
day the poor thing fell out of cab win
dow. and the wheel of another cab pass
ing at the time crushed its cage. 4 spec
tator picked up the parrot, very much
alarmed, but not hurt, and, hearing it
murmur something, put the bird to his
ear, when to his establishment the thing
a pretty go!' Nothing could have been
more exactly in sympathy with the
situation or more innocent. But this is
not always the case. The respectable
maiden lady who purchases the sailor S
parrot is liable. on the slightest provo
cation, or none at all, to find herself
addressed, even in the presence of the
clergy, in the gruffeSt and strongest
language of 4 boatSwain. Parrots have
no respect for select company. They
scatter their nautical terms broadcast
upon the just and upon the unjust, upon
the butchers boy when he calls for
orders and the new curate when he
drops in for afternoon tea. Like the
Afghans, if they have charge in their
guns they must fire it off. 1t does not
matter what they fire at in the least; if
there is nothing better they will blaze
away at blank wall. They shoot their
arrows, as the prince does in the fairy
tale, at random, and by and by when
! he comes to pick them up he finds one
has pierced the heart of his venerable
grandmother. So with the parrot. 1t
lets fly its familiar quotations at
kevery mark or at none, and the time
comes some day or other when it infiicts
a mortal wound upon the susceptibilities
that are slow to recover from such
shocks. So. as rule, it is the wisest
plan to educate ones own parrot.
This is not. of course, very easy to do,
for young parrots of suitable educa-
tional age are not abundant in the
British isles. Yet when Juvenile the
bird is very impressiOnable. Adult, it
is liable to be obstinate, and, like the
proud Briton who refused to truckle to
the German system of genders, it often
times learns new language very i'm
perfectly The old birds, indeed, show
extraordinary antipathies to syntax,
and get whims into their heads about
the construction of sentences which the
utmost patience or violence, as the case
may be, is powerless to dissipate. You
cannot disabuse an old parrots mind
of an error that it once has cordially
entertained 1t has its own ideas of
grammatical proprieties and clings to
them like a limpet. YOn can not shake
it on matter of English. You may
teach it another phase altogether, but
it will not fOregO the first. 1t will tag
The two together and mix them up-like
he protestant kettle" of the immortal
| Barnaby's raven-but this compro-
mise is the best terms you will make
| With the bird When possible. there
| Gore, secure young parrot, catch it at
d good school-board age, and then
teach it yourself. While doing so keep
it away from the communicating in
iuenoes of street boys, for baker s
boy will teach it to ask: "Who kissed
the cook?' in half dozen easy le>, rs,
while you are wearing your days out in
impressing 'God Save the Queen upon
its memory, and after all, the odds are
the bird will say: God save the cook. "
Street cries. again, are to be avoided if
possible. 1t is not well to have bird
calling ''cats' meat during family
prayers. But above all, the educator
of the youthful fowl should herself
be circumspect in her language
and careful of the pitch of the voice,
for it will catch her scOlding tones at
once and pick up Bother that cat!"-
in her exact voice, tOO-long before il
will learn to say, s.Dear little puss -
Those who have. a harsh laugh, or
suffer from catarrh, or an impediment,
or any defect Of speech, should choose
other pets than parrots guinea pigs or
squirrels, or some other harmless
.'dumb" animals-for these birds have
perfect malicious aptitude for hitting
of such weak points. If old Mr.. Wei
Ter had kept good parrot at the Mar
quis of CRANKY the position of Stiggins
would have been impossiblei the mimic
would have utterly routed the snuffiing
rascal So that the difficulties in the
way of bringing up ones own bird are
considerable. But if it can be accom-
plished the result will abundantly re-
pay the labor, were it only in keeping
the possessor's mind free from any dis.
quieting apprehension as to ''what the
parrot will say next" 1t is great re.
lief also to visitors to know that when
out of politeness they take notice OF
| their hostess bird there is no DANGER OF
awkward reioinders. 1t disconcerts the