Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1884-05-01
NUMBER SO.
FUN

1t IS the feeblest mustache, as well az
the sicklest child, that gets the most
fondling. Boston Transcript
A Cedar Rapids editor wants any
young lady Sho .'jumps at conclusions
to consider hima conclusion. .v-Elsrtric
Light.
What a beautiful example Of simplicity
is set by that useful animal, the domestic
cat, which rises at 3 o'clock a NJ, washes
its face with its right hand, gives its tail
three jerks, and is ready dressed FOR the
day.
f'Fiye thousand molecules can sit com
fortably on the point Of pin" Herein
the moIecuIe differs materially from man
The latter couldn't sit comfortably on
the point Of pin, to save bis life
Norrist0uon Herald
Mary L. Booth says that what woman
needs is outside pockets. A benedict
thinks that what married men need j. an
inside pocket with combination lock
that can't be opened until morning
Nea0 York Journal.
A hogshead Of tobacco having fallen
on Kentuckian and crushed him out
Of symmetrical proportions, the Arhan-
saU TrareZer remarks: 1T can't be de-
MED that tobacco taken in large quanti-
ties is injurious"
'fWhat kind Of sauce Will you have
with your steak ?'' asked the waiter Of
dinner in restaurant where the condi-
ments were served with the orders IF
the steak is as tough as yesterdays, send
in couple Of circular saws Scissors.
The man doth do dirty capar,
Who in arrears cries stop my PAPER"
-WaitehaH Times
A man doth do the proper caper,
Who pays arrears, then stops the paper.
Cangoharie Courier.
The man doth do squarer caper
When up to the counter he doth prance,
And pays his subscription in advance,
And cheerily says, Il like the papsr.n
-Chicago Sun.
If your boy manifests desire to 60 out
West and exterminate Indians urge him
to start at once. He viii return home in
day or two, and thank you with tears
in his eyes for the privilege Of saving
half cord of wood before breakfast
Philadelphia CaN.
A young lady who is learning music
says she has heard that fish is a good dish
for people who write stories, ETC., and
wants to know what would be proper
dish for a person studying music. We
should say a note meal diet would be ex-
cellent.- SomerOiAe Journal.
THE PRINTERS POINTS.
An Arab came to the river side,
With a donkey bearing an obeIisk;
But he would not try to ford the tide,
For he had too good an
Boston Globe.
So he camped all night BY the river side,
And remained till the tide had ceased to
swell;
For he knew, should the donkey from life
subside,
He would never find its l.
Salem Sunbeam. a
In the morning he sought to ford the tide,
When the donkey stopped Of the water to
quaff;
The rider fell off, let the obelisk slide,
Thus afording newspaper r.
Rome Sentinel.
But in the eve, WHEN the tide was low,
And the sun had set on the vegetation;
He stirred up the mule and made it go,
Nor was lie stopped BY an
-Ptsburg Commercial Gazetts.
Soon they reached their journeys end,
The mule was frisky under the lash;
And while the girls looked brightly on,
The mule and master cut a-.
Philadelphia EUening Nel1s.
And when the man got off the mule,
He looked SO charming and 50 grand;
Each girl a leap-year privilege took,
And begged him to accept her EE
MONTHLY UNION.
He thought it was against the rule
For a girl to pop the question;
So he sunk his spurs into the mnIa,
And quickly left that S.
Centre Democrat.
The girls then cursed the man on mule,
Because he had s'vamosedn the place;
instead Of waiting while each one
Could give to him fond em -.
Washington Hatchet