Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-04-24
THE LEDGER.
The S~poopendykes.

I will dictate a letter to SpeckleWot-
tie. Ii you will play amenuensis,-l
don't see why I can't be sick just as
we'll as not"
Mrs. spoopendyke puttered around
and arranged her writing materials.
"Shall / write on a card with a gilt
edge, or shall l take note paper"
she asked.
"You'd better use paper" replied
Mr.. Spoopendyke severely. ""hen
/ want to convey my ideas on II shin
gle I'll carve 'em in with a knife.
Now get ready, for Pm going to
start, and don't you interrupt me,
or you will put me out"
"All ready, DEAR murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke, dipping her pen into
the ink and contemplating her hns-
band anxiously.
"Mr. Peter b. Specklewottle,'
commenced Mr.. Spoopendyke.
ais his middle name 'B?'" asked
Mrs. S~poopendyke, resting her al
bum ON the table, her head oil her
hand, and testing her pen ON the
blotter. 81 don't think 1 like his
name, anyway. Peter isn't nice"
"If any other name occurs to you,
put it in" observed Mr.. .Spoopen-
dyke, with 8 growl. "You don't
need to have a mans right name in a
letter. Put in anything and hurry
up, will you? Going to keep me in
suspense all day about who this
letter ia going to?
Mrs. ~Spoopendyke plunged into
her work and wrote hurriedly for a
moment. snow, Pye got him in,
dear"
"Got who in? Anybody 1 know !?
Am ] debating a private letter to a
stranger Got some particular
friend you want this note to go to
unbeknown to me? Who's in there!
Pm going to know who's at the top
before I put my name at the bot
TOM"
"Why, Mr.. Specklewottle. of
course" said she, looking at him
with wide open eyes. "That's what
you said. Now go on with the rest"
"Have you got the date and dear
sir in, too ?" asked Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, peevishly, for he was trying to
think how he should start his letter.
"No, dear, you didn't say anything
about those" replied his wife.
"You only said the name, but PHI put
the others in"
"Will, will ye?" croaked Mr..
Spoopendyke. sticking on a great
deal of credit to yourself for your
kindness to the sick, amt yep
Willing to yield your W prefer
ences in favor of your suffering hus-
band! Well, you can't fool me that
much. Don't put 'em in; hear me p
"But I've got 'em in" pleaded
Mrs. Spoopennyke.
"Then strike 'em out - roared her
husband. "S'pose Pm going to lei
you put those things in and throw
'em up in my face from the moment
1 get we'll till the day 1 die? Scratch
'em out, I tell ye! 1 don't propose
to have my life made miserable by
reminders of your kindness when
was fishing around in the grave will
one leg! Now, what have you got p
"Peter B. Specklewottle," sale
Mrs. Spoopesdyke, mentally salts
ned there could be no mistake in that
Anything to show whether he's a
man or a woman ?" demanded Mr.
Spoopendyke. "Any Mrs or Esq.
hanging to it snywhere?"
"C~ertainly." replied Mrs. Spoop
endyke. at says Mr.. Peter B
Specklewottle.' That's the way 70,
told me to write it, didn't you
Now go on with the letter."
Then put Il amy dying, and
wish YOU
"Great gracious !" CALCULATED Mrs
Spoopendyke, dropping her pen
"You are not dying, dear; you dom
want the man to think that ?"
"Why not?" squealed Mr.. Spoor
endyke. "S'posc a mar is goins
fourteen blocks out of his way to ge'
the mail for a man who only has
cold in his head? You put in tina
Pm dying or I'll drop over into tina
corner and write the whole lette
with one application of the ink
stand |"
"Go on, dear" cooed Mrs. Spoop
endyke. "I've got it SO; only b
may think it's strange that a dyin,
nan should write to him."
"Then say, al want you to get m,
mail from the office, and tell them
will be over in a day or two. Go
that 2"
"Yes," giggled Mrs. spoopendyke
"Anything else ?"
"What're you laughing at p
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke, on whom
the incongruities of his letter ha,
begun to dawn.
"What have you got that measl,
mouth of yours stretched out like
dodgasted graveyard for2 Thinl
I'm debating q comic almanac? Go
= notion that this letter is some kin,
of q rebus? Well, it amt, and
ain't q minstrel entertainment with
funny man at each end! What'r
you laughing at? Anobody in thi
eountry know 2"
"I wasn't laughing DEAR" muir
INJURED Mrs. Spoopendyke, with
marvelously straight face. 81 wa
only sy~mpathizing with you"
"Wss, Ell ?" grunted Mr.. Spoopen
dyke. "Well, when it takes the form
Of q visage like you screwed up
minute ago ] want to be hanged in
stead of being sympathized with
Another time you open your moutl
like th.t Pm going to put seats in i
and start q church."
And aeui{afiu1 an this vaek i'm