The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1884-11-27


Il stopped in to-day, sir, to tell ou
THAT L do not want your paper any
longer. In some respects it is q good
paper, but you do not print enough
news matter. You should print at least
full page of news. | don't care any
thing about your protective tariff AID
tariff for revenue only, or anything of
that sort. l want the news when l
take paper. / want a full account of
murders and suicides and cailroad col
Iisions and divorce cases. Don't send
me the paper any longer. I'll come in
and pay you what owe you when
have sold my corn; good day."
And then there was light step at the
door, and a person wearing a severe
countenance and shawl came in and
took the vacant chair.
81 am very sorry" he said, IN meas
ured tones, and with a fixed, critical
stare at the end of the editors nose, II
am very sorry to notice that YOU are
giving in your columns so little atten-
ton to the cause of Prohibition-the no
bic cause of Prohibition. You must
rouse Yourself upon this great question,
and give your readers page of it
weekly. | am not a subscriber of your
paper, but borrow it every week of
my neighbor, and loan Kim the Banner
Of Light in exchange; SO YOU will OBJ
serve that | have been one of your
faithful readers, and I know just where
you fall short of a good newspaper.
will leave you few tracts from which
you should make liberal extracts from
time to time. You will notice that this
one, entitled Dash the Cup AWAY is
written by myself. You are at liberty
to print it in full. And when / come
across anything particularly good in
the columns of the Banner of Light, I'll
cut it out and send it round to you.
You have a grand opportunity to make
your paper grow in circulation and in
tiuence, and hope you will come
boldly to the front on the right course,
and no longer continue to devote your
valuable space to trivial matters. By
the way; have you a few exchanges
that you are done with? All, that will
do; good day."
In the door the man in the shawl
passed a person with a merry twinkle
in his eyes.
II like your paper-it is first rate"
he said, as he dropped into the vacant
chair, except that it does not contain
humor enough. Why don't you fill her
full of jokes and bright things by the
funny fellows, and make your readers
laugh? Nobody cares a cent for those
political editorials and those scientific
articles, and that stuff about the tariff
you print. That puts me to sleep.
Give us plenty of jokes to shake
mans liver up and let the tariff take
care of itself. That's all. Be in to see
you again when I've more time; ia, ia. -
Tne next person who took the vacant
chair had a countenance as solemn as a
secondhand hearse. He didn't look as
if he had smiled more than once in
forty years, and the village editor took
him for an undertaken who wanted to
advertise a patent embalming process
and pay in trade.
..Sir," SAID the solemn man, after a
silence that became very painful to the
village editor, 81 am grieved to notice
the tone of levity that has recently per-
vaded the columns of your paper. and
L am compelled 10 ask you on that ac-
count to take my name off your book.
You seem to forget that this is world
of calamity and woe, and that spirit
of levity in the press is unseemly, and
tends to draw attention from the solemn
realities of life and the near proximity
of death. Last week you declined to
print my article entitled Reflections
on the grave, alleging that you did not
have room for it, and then gave up
nearly column of your paper to frivo-
lous jokes. do not intend to read any,
thing light this year. That is all have
to say; good afternoon
The door closed behind the solemn
man and softly opened again to admit
3 dreamy-eyed man with poetic brow
and a general expression that seemed
10 indicate that he wanted something
he had never had and never expected
10 have.
81 merely came to remark" he be-
gan, as he took the vacant chair, '.that
Eou are sadly neglecting the literary
department. of your paper. / not only
nave noticed it myself, but several of
my friends have called my attention to
t. You should by all lmeans run con-
'inued story and have two or three good
'hort stories in each issue. Good sto-
les is the thing that is wanted to make
village paper popular. Everybody
rou ask will tell you that. A little
news and some local matter and the
marriages and deaths should be printed
# course; but you shouldn't let any
hing crowd out the stories. | don't |
AXE your paper, but my brother-in-law
loes. and I borrow it of him. | have |
for some time to mention this
natter to you, but could never think of |
before when I was in town. If yoa |
hink these suggestions are of any value
o you. you may send me your paper
'ratuitous for a year. Allow me to bid /
'ou good day, sir.'
The dreamy-eyed man went out as +
oftly as sixty days note falls due, /
nd moment later another style of I
'erson dropped into the vacant chair, /
nd spoke thusly, in tones that were
harp and quick.
II don't think want this paper an
ther year. You are not making as
ood paper as you should with your +
opportunities. You are not giving your
eaders enough local matter. Local
natter should be the chief feature of q
illape pauer, EVERYTHING else should I