The Nevada picayune., 1884-12-25
HUM 0 Ro US.

Boston Post: "Do you believe in fetisllismi" she asked as he come back in time for the second act. "No, indeed" was the an swer; "why do you askw "Oh, on ly because I noticed that you had just taken clove to drive out bad spirits"
 Norristown Herald: The opera season in New York has been at- tended with financial less thus far. Hereafter, however, it will proba- ply make money. There has been too many counter attractions, but now that the Mayor has suppress ed slugging matches, the opera will receive a much larger share of public patronage.
 I Paris Pdyer: Master--Well, Stu san, did you mail my letter as l l told you! Faithful servant t-Ycs, sir; but l had 1t weighed first, and as it was double weight l put on another stamp. Master--Good girl; only l hope you didn't put it on so as to oblterate the address Faithful servant-Oh, no. indeed, sir; l just stuck it on top of the other stamp so as to save room.
 Waterbury Americ ,a: Schopen- hener was asked one day at din ner by a Plussian officer. "Why do you put frederic under your plate'" Il have made vow," re- piled the philosopher, ito give this piece of money to beggar the very first time 1 dine with the mill. tary without hearing talk about woman and horses. It is fifty years since l made this VOW, but l have not yet been called upon to bestow my frederic in alms."
 Detroit Free Press She had named Friday of the following week as the day for the wedding. But Friday is an unlucky day." said George. "Oh, so it isw she exclaimed; II had forgotten that. No, it won't do to be married on Friday" "IIow would Saturday or Monday dOg' suggested George tenderly. The girl hesitated and blnshed little. Then she said: 1T think Thursday would be better, Gcorge''
 Bo, ton Post: He had just come down aud purchased two tickets for tn q opera, and grasping the two h;lvcs of his weeks salary he hastened to the house and was usheIed into her presence. "Ah, Miss DeSmith, a very cold day, is it not? Will you not allow me the pleasure of being your escort to the opera to-nightG' "Oh, thank you so much, but Mir. Brown has asked me and 1 am afraid I shall have to refuse; l am so sorry. Yes, indeed, it is very, very cold day"
 St. Louis Post Dispatch; "The female base ball of Philadelphia is now in New Orleans, and the girls are receiving so many offers of marriage that the organization will probably fall to pieces"
 L1e; "Pa," said Johnnie Springs, as he looked up from his "joggerphy," where IS Logan sport?' "There isn't any such place, my son. Logan isn't having any sport just now" replied the cruel parent, with a ghastly smile, as he put on his hat won on Cleve. land, and went out to the Demo cratic jubilee.
 Albany Argas: It is related that a certain German maid presided at a mineral water fountain, at which there were only two kinds of syr- up, vanilla and lemon. To her name young man and said; Il want glass of soda without syr- up" "Ja," replied Katrina, "boot vot kind of syrup you want him mitout-mi,out vanilla or mitout lemon."
 Boston Jingo: Milliken came home looking very disconsolate. It's all up," he said to his wife, ."I wasn't elected. Everything went all right until yesterday, and then they raked up q charge against me for horse stealing.' "But, my dear why don't you make them back up this charge" Rack 1t np! That's just where the troub- le was. Some of our ward com. mittee, like blamed fools, kept cry. ing for proof and 'documents,' and