davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08
Matrimonial.

The young woman said her lover was
coming on the train. and she was going
TO be married. Whereupon the old
lady said she had much experience in
the marrying business" and would
give the young lady some advice, and
here is what she said: "Well, child,
never marry a railrOader. for he IS la
bic to get killed at any time. Never
marry a military man, for he is liable
to 90 to war and get shot, Besides,
his gorgeous clothes attract the atten
tiOn of the women. Never marry a
hotel keeper. My first husband was a
hotel keeper and fell through the eleva-
tor opening and broke his skull. New
er marry a travelling man, for he is
always away from home. Never marry
a steambOateT. My second husband
was a steamboat captain. and got blow
ed into 1900, 600 piecesi | always get
terribly mad when | think of that man.
Never marry grocer. My third nus
band was a grocer and he was killed by
molaSSeS barrel fallin' on him. When
| think of him I'm completely disgust
ed. Never marry carpenter My
lbulAl DASblIl fsdo a Nd1A anu
fell off a scaffOld and was smashed TO a
Jelly. May his soul sleep in peace.
Never marry a machinist. My fifth
husband was a machinist. I'll never
forget the day when he was brought
home on a board. | didn't recognize
him. A belt had come off pulley and
hit him plum in the fare and spread his
nose all over his cOuntenance. prom
iSed on his dyin' bed that I'd never
marry another machinist. " Just then
the train rolled in and the old lady
asked: .'Child, what business is your
lover in?r Insurance business" 20,
mercyl You don't mean to marry him?
My sixth husband was an insurance
-" But the young lady was gone TO
meet her lover.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

The very look Of 1t is no longer en-
couraging. 1t is either a pale, half
chilled, unsatisfactory beverage. or it
contains a dark, black-b-own sediment
from overboiled tea leaves. The con-
sumption of tea, no doubt. in England
Is enormous and we boast to foreigners
that we are fond of our tea; the fashion
of tea drinking, owing mainly to our
example, has extended to France, once
extremely hereticsl on that point; and
vet where is the foreigner to find
good cup of tea in England? At the
railway stations? Very rarely. At the
restaurants? Scarcely ever. And at
the newly started tea and coffee palaces.
which are to promote sobriety, the
great and crying complaint is that the
tea and coffee are so poor that the best
intentioned people are forced back to
the dangerous public house in order to
obtain little stimulant, for it is idle to
DENY that both tea and coffee are stlmu-
Iating to the constitution. Everywhere
a great reform in tea is required. once
on time no coufectioner, railway sta
ton or refreshment house could rival
the homemade brew, made under the
eve of the mistress of the household,
with the kettle on the hob and the In
gradients at hand; but now that the
old custom of tea making is considered
unIadylike, and the msu ufacture has
been handed over to the servants. the
great charm of the beverage has virtu-
ally departed. Indeed, 1t is surprising
N how few houses q good cup OF tea
can be obtained, now that 1t has become
unfashionabIe for the mistress OF the
establishment not only to preside over
her own table, but to have complete
sway over that most necessary article,
kettle of boiling wster. The Chinese
never dream of stewing their .sa. as we
do in England. They do not drown 1t
with milk or cream, or alter its taste
with sugar, but lightly pour boiling
water on q small portion of the leaves.
1t is then instantly poured of again. by
which the Chinaman obtains ouly the
more volatile and stimulating portion OF
its principle.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

CREAMERY MAS.-..Yes, the cheese is
a little old, admit; but do you notice
what a rich yellow it is, Just like
gold p
Customer. color is certainly
all that could be desired"
81 pride myself on that, and as l
have no name for the brand 1 have been
thinking of calling it the gold brand. "
"Wonld not gold dollar brand do
better?"
perhaps but why ?"
"Oh. you know all the world prizes
the mitey dollar"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

When the inundation approaches the
capital-usually at the end of June or
the beginning of July-the Nile criers
(Muna-di-en-Nil) begin their work.
These criers are men, whose business il
is To call out, OF rather to recite, before
the houses of those who wish It, how
much the Niie has risen during the last
twen:y-four hours. The Oriental does
everything, no matter what it is, grave
IL, slowly, with much dignity and ver-
bosity. and is never chary of his time
or breath. Even the form of his greet
ing in the street is a complicated cere-
mony of words and motions which usu.
ally takes some minutes to perform
And in the sand WAY the announce
memt of the rivers rise, which seems to
us such a simple matter, is most serl-
Gus affair
The day before the crier begins his
talk he goes through the streets accom-
panied by boy, whose part 1t is TO act
as chorus and to sing the response at
the proper moment. The crier sings:
God has looked graciously upon the
fields.''
htSpOuSc- Ob- udN Vi Sldu lluluSS.
"TO morrow begins stheannouncement." "
Response: MAY it lie followed by
success"
Before the crier proceeds to give the
information so much desired, he intones
with the boy in lengthy, alternating
chant, in which he praises God, i'm
plores blessings on the Prophet and all
his believers. and on the master of the
house and all his children. Not until
this has been carefully gone through
does he proceed to say the Nile has
risen so many inches.
This ceremony is carried on until the
month of September, when the riveI
has reached its eliminating point, and
the crier, as bringer of such good news,
never fails to claim his "baksheesh''-
sometimes humbly, and sometimes, too
very imperiously.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

WHEN the Mason & Hamlin Company
announced the accomplishment of great
improvement in Upright Pianos, which they
would soon give TO the public, much was
expected, because of the vast Improvements
which had been effected by them in reed in
struments, and this acknowledged superex-
cellence of their organs. These eNpecta-
tions are fully justified by the pianos which
they are producing, which have extraordi-
nary purity and refinement of zone. Every
mechanic will see that the peculiarities OF
their construction must add greatly 10 their
durability and especially their capacity 10
keep in good tune.
This company have as great future In
their pianos as they are already realizing III
their organs, which are ccnfessedly un-
equalled among such instruments.-Bo Boston
Trqreller
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

Farmers that try to sell white butter
are all of the opinion that dairying does
not pay. If they would use Wells,
Richardson Il Co.'S. Improved Butter
Color. and market their butter in perfect
condition, they would still get good pri-
ces. but it will not pay to make any but
the best in color and quality. This
color is used by all the leading cream
cries and dairymen, and Is sold by drug
gisus and merchants.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08
.No PhY.ic. SIR. In Mins,p

A good story comes from boys board
ing-schOol in Jersey The diet was mo
notonous and constipating, and the learned
Principal decided TO introduce some old
styls physic in the apple-sauce, and await
the happy results. One bright lad, the
smartest ia school, discovered the secret
mine IN his sauce, and pushing back his
plate, shouted to the pedagogue, "So
physic, sir, In mine. My dad told Inc To
use nuthin' but Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pur-
gative Pellets, and they are doing their
duty like "A charm"' The are anti bilious,
and purely vegetable.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

The difference between au egg laid by
a plump, healthy hen, fed with good,
fresh food daily, and an egg laid by a
thin, poorly fed hen is as great as the
difference between good beef and poor.
A fowl ted on garbage and weak slops,
with very little grain of any kind, may
lay eggs, to be sure, but when these
eggs are broken to be used for cake,
pies, ETC., they will spread in a weak,
watery way over your dish, or look a
milky white, instead of having a rich.
slightly yellow tinge. A erich egg"
retains its shape as far as possible,
and yields TO the beating of knife or
spoon with more resistance. and gives
you the conviction that you are really
beating something thicker than vs-t4r
q diluted milk.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

"Hellor' we heard one man say 10 an
other, the other day. "I didn't know you
at first, why you look ten years younger
than you did when | saw you last. u
EEL ten years younger" was the reply.
.You know | used To To under the weather
all the time and gave up expecting to be
any better. The doctor said L had con-
sumption. was terribly weak, had night
sweats. cough, no appetite, and lost flesh.
l saw DIR. PIerce's Golden Medical Dis
coyery' advertised, and thought it would
do no harm if it did no good. 1t has cured
me. am new man because | am a well
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

A prominent French scientist has
made careful investigation of the sour
ces of possible danger in the use of coal
gas. In unburnt gas the injurious ele-
men tbs found TO be carbonIc oxide.
Were a stream of escaping gas passes
over ground not already saturated the
earth sbsorbs tue odor of the gas. aftei
which it may permeate dwellings, or
other buildings without being detected.
but still retaining Its poisonous qualities,
and beilg no less explosive.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08
IT rAKEs an Irislman to hit the ma

1T TAKES An Irishman to hit the nail
square on the head every time. a
monopolist IN this section, employed q
large number of men, at the lowest
possible wages, said TO an Irishman in
his employ: "Pat, 1 hear you are 60
ing to vote for Cleveland" Faith, /
think l will, said Pat. Now look
here. Patrick. if Cleveland is elected
your wages will not be more than fifty
cents day." "Arrah, now. what's that
you're gIvin' u.s." said Pat; '.if you
really thought SO you'd vote for him
Yourself T.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08
No Cats.

There is not single cat within the
limits of the town Of Leadyille, Colorado.
Cats have been imported there by the
hundreds. and in all varieties OF color and
size, but not one has ever survived the
second week OF residence. However, as
there are no rats and mce In Leadvllle,
there is no real need Of cats. and ii makes
little difference whether they live or die.
The thin atmosphere at that altitude (1O,-
2OO) Is as fatal to the vermin as 10 their
foe, and the inhabitants are thus merci-
fully spared the infection OF both.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

"MA," whispered Pmder Fitzgoober,
after the funeral of q friend. do you
know where he went ?"
Hush, child" cautioned the mother.
who saw that the question had been
overheard, ''of course l don't, and no
one else does"
81 do" yelled the boy, brightly, ''he
went to the cemetery"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

A GEORGIA men hearing noise like
rattle snake in the hotel, went INTO q
friends room and saw to his intense
surprise five huge rattlers crawling
around the room, while his friend sat
unconcernedly at table writing let
ter. "Great Jehosephat, jim y he ex.
claimed; do you see those snakes p
Snakes? What snakes q returned
James. why, all around the room
there everywhere" %, no, replied
James, not at all. l thought 10 my
self at first, but I've had 'em too often
to believe all | see.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

Look hesh T. said old Silas, meet
ing the Governor of Arkansas, "da tell
me dat de cholera hab got er special
spite at de niggers."
Yes, it carries them of, the Cover
nor replied.
'Uh, uh. It's er sorter Democrat
tease, amt it? De yaller ieber is sor-
ter in fabor O. de 'publicans. 1t am
strange whut campaign 'huences de
white folks fetches ter bar on de sity-
ton"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

THERE are plenty Of Dstroiters who
still believe that immortal guy i'll
which Charley Blanchett and q white
dog feast were the salient points.
The latest feminine idiocy that has
seized Detroit is gum-chewing. The
attack Is virulept.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

When you visit or leave New York CITY, save
Baggage Expressage and Carriage Hire. and Stop
81 tne Grand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Cen
tral Depot
Elegant rooms, lifted up n a cost OF one
million dollars. reduced 20 81 and upwAfds per
dsy European Plan Elevator. Restaurant
supplied with the best Horse cars, stages anu
elevate railroad 10 all depots- families can i've
better for less money al the Grand Union Hote.
than Al AnH other rrst-class hotel IN The CIV.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

It's no secret nostrum. We speak OF DR..
Pierce's Extract OF Smart Weed, composed
of best French Brandy, Smart Weed. ia
rnaica Ginger and Camphor Water. Ii
cures cholera morbus, collie or cramps
in stomach, diarrhGa, dysentery or bloody
fiux, and breaks up colds, fevers and in
hammatory attacks.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

MINKs.-"Things seem to have gone
wrong with you. Don't want to hurt
your feelings, but can't help noticing
that you look very seedy."
Winks.-"Yes, I've been specuiat-
ing"
Minks.-"Well, suppose you had
better sense than to go into Wall
street. Did You go in of your own
notion? ?"
Winks.-"No; l was taken IN.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

The utterly utter" kind of talk has
infected the street gamins, one of
whom, after picking up a more that
usually fragrant cigar-stump, exclaimed
to his friend: "Jack, this is quite too
positively bully"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

" Spring belgium Academy of Sci
ences) concludes that the seat Of cleo
tricity of storms is not. as generally ad-
mitted, in the moist region of the atmos-
phere. but in the cold and dry super
ST. atum.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

WHEN young man is alone with his
best girl he is generally supposed to be
''holding his own"
NoBJDY has publicly snathemaized
the Board of Public Works IN forty
eight hours.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

Hair-dressings should be free from
rancidity, should neither gum nor dry
the hair, and should be of such nature
that the hair bulbs would receive
strength. Carboline is the only one that
seems to fill the bill.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

One bad example spoils many coed
precepts.
WHEN q man threatens to give you 8
piece of his mind he wishes TO destroy
the peace Of yeurA
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

The author Of the "LittIe Brown
jug" was probably in a jugular vein,
when he wrote that sometime popular
ditty.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

A TEXAS young man shot himself be-
cause q young lady refused to dance
with him. In his blind rage he proba-
bly, mlstook himself for q rival,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

A GOOD wash to apply to the face for
freckles or tan is made of cucumbers
and milk. The cucumber is sliced
thinly and crushed in the milk. Rub
on the face before retiring. If these
rules are followed out you will find
yourself better looking and more COM
Portable than heretofore.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08
Josiah Davis Trouble.

Josiah Davis, North Middletown, Ky,
writes: 81 all now using box Of vour
Henry's Carbolic Salve upon an ulcer,
which. for the past ten days, has given me
great pain. The salve is the only remedy
have found that has given me any ease.
My ulcer was caused by varicose veins, and
was pronounced incurable by my medical
doctors. | find, however, that Henry Car
bcllc Salve is effecting cure" Beware of
limitations
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08
HUMOROUS

MR. JACOB SCHNEIDER and Heinrich
Bsumgarten, two honest, hard working
Germans. settled on the clear fork of
the Sandles. IN Gonzales county, about
the year 1s4s. Thev picked up some
little knowledge of the English Ian
guage from their scattered neighbors,
and in 1850 were somewhat tnoculated
with the customs of the people. Schnei-
der sold horse to Bsumgarten on SIX
months credit and got neighbor to draw
up the note for the money. Baumgar-
ten signed the note, and then said to
Schneider: "Vat 1 must do NIT desc
note ?" Schneider said: you geebs
der node, den you nose ven you must
bays me-" Eaumgarten said: "Dos
ish goot." At the end OF six months
Baumgarten brought the money and
the note to Schneider and paid him the
money and said "Now you dakes de
node, den you all dimes nose de money
ish bald" The names used in this little
anecdote are fictitious, but the balance
of il is true history.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

An English tiock-masier says that he
keeps bis nursing ewes in rather high
condition, contending that fat dams
make fat lambs.
WHEN the Arab has stolen everything
else in sight he quietly folds his tent
and steals away.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

Now that steam rotary roasters are
used, coffee can be much more perfect
ly roasted in them than at home; but
buy 1t unground and in small Quantities,
keeping it in a glass or TIN can, tightly
covered. Java and Mocha mixed IN
the proportion of two-third Java to one
third Mocha, makes a rlch drink, and
never grind till Just before using.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

To MAKE cologne water try this rule
10 one quart of alcohol allow three
drachms of oil of lavender, one drachm
of rosemary, three drachms each of oil
of bergamot and essence of lemon, and
three drops of the oil of cinnamon.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

A WOMAN never says I'm going up
to MIR. Jones'" 1t is always to Mrs.
Jones that she is going. From the
woman point Of view man as a purely
domestic figure is not an entity.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

HERE is the last remedy for seasickness
from one of the French papers: '"Take
no food during at least four hours pre-
vious to embsrking. An hour before
stepping on board drink one or two
cups OF very strong coffee (without
chIcory)."
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

PLAIN white towels may be made or
namental by placing two rows of drawn
work at each end. The work may be
fastened with red, or blue, or with
white. The white gives little nicer
look to the towel than the colored.
Overcast the edges Just above the fringe.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

CLOVER tea is said to be efiicacious in
the cure of cancer. Red clover Is ussd,
the tops being boiled in water. The
tea is used internally and externally;
about quart day should be drunk,
also using it twice day as lotion.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

A BRIDGR over q stream in Missouri
bears this legend: ''Drive over as fast
as you want to, and be burned I"
Everybody, therefore. drives at a walk.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

Cures collie, cramps, diarrhei; externally for
aches, pains, sprains, nei1tche, neuralgia, rhen-
matlsm. For man OF beast. ~ and JDc.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

Do NOT use paint or powder if the
weather is warm, for it is almost sure
to be observed. A light application of
rice powder several times day will
keep the face from becoming glossy,
and will also cool the skin. Powder
the hands and neck also.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

HINTS FOR THE HoME.-Small doses
OF salt will check hemorrhage Of the
lungs or stomach. To relieve hiccoughs
at once, take lump of s1gar saturated
with vinegar. Toothache may be re-
lieved by the application of cotton sat
urated with ammonia. The Skin of a
boiled egg is said to be the most effics-
cious remedy that can be applied to a
boil. Peel 1t carefully, wet and apply
to the part affected. 1T will draw of
the matter and relieve the soreness in
few hours. A writer in one of the med
ical journals says he has found the ap-
plication of strong solution of chronic
acid, three or four times 3 day, by
means of a camel's hair pencil, to be
the best and easiest method for remov-
ing warts.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

To QUIET the burning of IMPRISONED
hands, wet them with hot lime water.
This will be eflicacious sometimes when
nothing else does any good.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

To KEEP eggs the year round, take
one pint of salt and one quart of fresh
lime. and slack with hot water. When
Stacked, add sufficient water to make
four gallons. When well settled pour
of the liquid into stone jar. Til en-
with dish place the eggs In, tipping
the dish after it fills with the liquid, SO
they will roll out without cracking the
shell, for If the shell is cracked the egg
will spoil. Put the eggs in whenever
you have them fresh. Keep them cov-
cred in cool place and they will keep
fresh for one year.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08
DIR. LUTZE'S
SPECIFIC FOR WOMEN

Tests by SIR J. simpson, one OF Env,ap.rs NJ
highly distinguished physicians PTuL B.t -
and many others, In their pracJice nave -
lished beyond doubt the worm 0f nm. 20 -
remedy in diseases OF women. The Su.s.5t 80.
natures own great remedy for PI8de.us--..i =
and other displscements Of the womb IN co.,
tion with proper local attention Il cure. %
tus VIVA. AmenOrrhura, LeuoJrrhnl D..-1s--.r-
rhPa, Flooding, Inflammation, U.crrsrla1 -
lep-v, Commissions, ~. Nifus Dane 81
Nervous Headache. Rheumatism Fni,.-. -.
JOINTS Kidney Diseases. DrOpsy, C4farrn. - -
ou-ness, Feeb.eness from lndisrretlon- tB.l -
ces-es. SciatIca, Lumhayo, Insanity Due t1 sI.t -,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-10-08

DR. kLISE's Great Nerve Restorer Is the
marvel of the age for all nerve diseases. All
hts stopped free. Send To s3l Arch street.
PHILADELPHIA. Pa