Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-12-26
Why Men Do Not Marry.

The marriage market has become an
arena of competition as keen as any
suction room. The natural impulses
OF woman are disregarded. Mothers
advise prudent alliances, and discoun-
tenance, by fair means and foul, love
matches. Girls choke down their feel
ings, and aid and. abet their seniors in
encouraging men who are Catches"
throwing OF the restraint which made
their graldmothers charming. But
still the cry goes mp: '.Men do not
marry" And yet the most inveterate
clubmen, the mocker of love in q cot
tage, was once q youth not blase TO
whom the vision of a home was en-
chanting. Almost every man tries his
hand at realizing some such dream
eesriy in life. but the attempt Is usually
nipped in the bud by want of means or
by failure TO win the particular woman
on whom his heart IS set He suffers
acutely; but man is an elastic creature;
in time he mingles again with the
world. not entirely proof against fem
inine fascination, but finding it almost
impossible to set up an ideal. Matrons
with attractive daughters can not COM
plain that their girls see few men. The
tendency of the age is to level the bar
riers between the sexes; girls play
tennis. they row, they rink, they skate,
they sit in the smoking room. they
dance, not only in the evenings, but in
the afternoons.
The natural tendency OF such init.
mate associations would be mstrimony.
But the fact is, that men who m rht
have had serious intentions are fr gnt-
encd off before liking begets love.
There is an all-pervading fuss perva-
ding the intercourse of young people
which is altogether detrimental. The
instant pair begin TO show any par
ticular liking for each others society
the wide world around them is on the
gus UtCe. The mother watches, fuSses,
reDOrts to her cronies, and too often
catechises the girl. wounding her sense
of delicacy. and making her conscious
and constrained; or leading her to i'm
agine herself believe |, when the mans
feeling is only that of pleasure in the So
ciety of young woman who does her
best to make herself agreeable. Men
are usually ignorant how girls note and
weigh the attentions they receive, and
they impart the details OF such homage
To sympathetic-if envious us-feminine
ears, thus giving body to mere moth
ings. and brooding over tribes till they
gather shape.
Meanwhile the man. having said the
pretty things his idea of politeness has
prompted. goes away. forgetting them
and their recipient, while she is expect
ing declaration as the result of q few
soft nothings. squeeze of the hand. or
tender glances. Women are not aware,
on the other hand how sincerely he
may like and admire a girl without a
thought beyond mere good will. And
1t is precisely the better kind of mon
who fall into the misfortune of raising
false hopes; the man who believes in
the simplicity andcando or oil women, de-
sires their sympathy and values their
regard. A man of the world has the
instinct of self-preserv alton developed
strongly enough for his protection. The
sense Of safety is the real bond of many
OF the alliances now SO fashionable -
sometimes salutary. often miscaievous
be; wceD men and married women
Kept within bounds NO suspicion at
tachcs To them, no hopes are built upon
them. The lady receives the pet Is 20 ns
dear TO the female nature, which the
husband of long standing often neg
leets: the man receives the sympathy
grateful tn the masculine creature.
Men ieel this without analyzing their
sentiments. and it is a common COM
plant among them nowadays that it is
impOss BILE 10 become we'll acquainted
W tn u girl without exciting the too live
lyanXiety of her friends. And no wise
man proposes without knowing the
character of the girl he wishes to
marry. The mothers who are SO eager
for their daughter,' establishment are
wise, although this precipitation is not
only foolish, but. .indecorods. Americas
(lnpon