Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1884-05-24
The proneuncing Boom in Boa,e.

Bodie Free Press: That the spell.
ing and pronouncing boom has taken
firm hold on Bodie, the appended ex-
ample quite plainly shows, How
many days of trial and sleepless
nights it has cost its author is I'm.
known; but let those who labor under
the delusion that they can pronounce
the English language, in accordance
with the American dictionary thereof,
try this, and forever after hold their
peace:
One enervating morning, just after
the rise of the sun, a youth bearing
the euphOnious cognomen of Calico,
glided, in his gondola, over the leg.
endary waters of the lethean Thames.
He was accompanied by his allies, and
coadjutors, the dolorous Pepys and the
erudite Cholmondely, the most com.
bative aristocrat, extant, and an epicu.
rean who, for learned vagaries and
revolving discrepancies of character,
would take precedence of the most
erudite of all Areophagite literati
These sacriegious dramatis persona
were discussing, in detail, a suggestive
and exhaustive address, delivered
from the proscenlum box of the Calls
thenic Lyceum by notable financier
on obligatory hydroDatby, as access
Dry to the irrevocablc and lrreparable
doctrine of evolution. which had been
vehemently panegyrized by splenetic
Professor of Acoustics, and stimuli.
taneously denounced by complaisant
opponent as an undemcnstrated TO.
nance of the last decade, amenable to
no reasoning, however allopathic,
outside of its own lameptable environs.
These perelnptory tripartite brethren
arrived at Greenwich, wishing to ag-
grandize themselves By indulging in
exemplary relaxation, indicatory of
lmplacable LEGISLATION of integral ter.
giversation and esoteric intrigue.
They fraternized with chronological
harlequin, who was a connoIsseur in
mezzotint and falconry. This piquant
person was heaping coptumely and
scathing raiilery an an amateur in
jugular recitative, who held that the
Pharaohs of Asia were conversant
with his theory that morphine and
quinine were exorcists Of bronchitis.
Meanwhile the leisurely Augustine of
Cockburn drank from tortoise-shell
wassailcup to the health of an apoth-
eosized recusant, who was his snpere-
rogatory patron. and an assistant re-
cogDizance in the immobile nomen-
clature of interstitial molecular
phonics. The contents of the vase
proving soporific, a stolid plebeian
took from its cerements heraidic
violincello and, assisted by plethoric
diocesan from Pail Mall, who per.
formed on sonorous pianoforte, pro-
ceeded to make the dangerous echoes
of the Empyrean. They babe the
proliy Caucasian gentleman rot to
misconstrue their memorable demands,
while they dined on acclimated
anchovies and apricot trutfles, and had
for dessert wIseacre's pharmacopeia
Thus the lruculent Pythagoreans had
novel repast fit for the gods. On the
subsistence of the feast they alternated
scenes of squalor, which followed
Mechanist's reconnaissance of the
imagery of Uranus, the legend of
whose incognito related to poniard
wound in the abdomen received while
cutting swath in the interest of
telegraphy and photography. Mean
while there WAS being applied
homeopathic resi- orative to the retina
of an objurgatory spaniel by man
who tried to perfect the construction
of behemoth which had got mred in
pygmean slough while listening 20
the elegiac soughing of the prehis-
toric wind. ALEX. BECK.