The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-06-15
Extracts from the Life of a
Hairpin.

Yes, I'm but a halrpin, crooked and
bent with age, who first saw the light of
day in q New England factory.
Ali those-my childhood days-were
happy times, for my home was roomy one
and our family quite extensive, consisting
of all sorts of invisible brothers and sisters,
together with numerous others of more
substantial form.
Stately, steel-hearted hairpins and little
why ones, the latter making the family
circle merry with their gay, good humor,
graced our home. As to my own personal
appearance, my style of beauty was rather
peculiar, for, though l was quite tall tor
my age, my growth seemed centered in my
two extremites, and my most familiar title
among my fairer brothers and sisters, was
the unlovely name of Long Legs" In
spite of my youth, my head was quite bald
and my forehead full of wrinkles, but was
contented and looked forward to the future
with the eager expectant eyes OF YOUTH
thinking there surely was never such
happy young hairpin as !!
Alas all too soon l was driven from my
noisy, busting home, and hustled out into
the great, untried world-a poor wall OF a
harpn cramned as believe to die, IN
huge, air-tight box on July day, with
hundreds of disconsolate companions going
with all speed, to distant, western city.
Ugh. how homesick | grew on the
journey, and what would l have given to
have stretched my legs, oh, ever so little!
But no, cried with all the strength of my
being-Let me out! Let me out but the
tears rusted in my eyes-the great iron
engine pulled the louder-the busy world
moved on, and hope, having forsaken me,
I sank into a state Of oblivion.
When or how my destination was reach
ed, never knew, but one day I felt cool
breath on my bald crown, and on looking
up, Il perceived dry goods clerk bending
over my PROSTATE form he helped me to my
feet and out of the box, transferring me to
bright, little brunette, who stood waiting
at the opposite counter; she nodded and
smiled at my deliverer, and, placing me in
a coquetish handbag, sailed home.
My new position was novel one. The
only occupants besides myself were a post
age stamp, button hook, three or four
melted chocolate creams, and wad of
chewing gum. AS | found myself in such
quarters, determined to make the best of
my position, and Immediately began a
vigorous conversation with my companions.
My acquaintance were quite laxative, and
the chocolate extremely gushing so much
so, that, as | felt myself being embraced,
began to think those chocolate creams
decidedly soft and certainly very familiar
on short acquaintance.
al had just arrived at this conclusion
when | was ruthlessly jerked out by the
nspe Of the neck, and deposited in the eX
trcmc bottom of hairpin receiver in the
young ladys room.
Left to my reflections, I soon discovered
l was standing on my head. The torture
of the following hours is indescribable, for
the most dreadful pains pervaded my whole
system, my eyes nearly bursted from their
sockets, and cold shivers prevailed in the
region of the spine all night. l remained
in great agony until the next evening when
| was poked out the top, and fell with q
bump on hard surface which proved to
be marble dressing case.
Thinking I would not be observed by
the little lady who stood before the mirror
arranging her hair in Grecian coil, I
sneaked with weary limbs behind friend
ly toilet bottle, but had just stopped to rest
when l was picked up and jobbed in the
very centre of the massive pile very much
to my discontinue for those heavy tressts
were quite q strain on my poor back. Her
toilet complete, was soon lost to view in
the soft meshes Of fluffy, junk silk hood,