davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-06-21

fever. which lasted him the year round
in other words, chronic laziDess.
II shan't last long" he would say in
that Whitney -piney voice. which ex-
asperated all who knew him as he
really was. Then, Nancy. you and
the children can have it all your own
way"
And Aunt Nancy would cry and the
children howl. and there would be some
added delicacy at the sufferers plate
for the next meal.
There's only dozen eggs in the
house." that sanity woman would OBJ
serve. Now. children, I'm going to
cook those for yoar poor father-don't
one Of you ask for eggs"
But when he reached the last egg one
of the tempted children would pluck
up courage to hint for it. Uncle 'Lisha
would look at that child with a counte
nance of meek reproach and say:
Yes, take it, take it. and let your
| poor, sick father starve."
There was no chance for Aunt Nancy
to have any pet ailments. If she was
sick and complained, Uncle 'Lisha
would say:
I've felt just so, mother, and that
settled it, If he was going anywhere
he would put in the saving clause:
If l live, and Nancy WELL
| Her headaches were mere chimeras
of the imagination.
1--we suffered worse and never men
toned it it-sultered like wintergreen," >"
he would add, as ii that were the nc
plus ultra of misery.
Every year or two he made a new
will, aud every day he advised Aunt
Nancy what to do when he was gone.
In their early married life, when the
children were small, he had dreaded
that she would marry again, but in
later years this fear had no place in his
thoughts. The children themselves
were married and gone, and Aunt
Nancy was an old woman with white,
placid face, and bands of iron-gray
hair-not really old, but worn ouI-her
life had been such a perpetual echo OF
Uncle 'Lisha. He didn't like company,
so she didn't have any. He never
wanted to go anywhere, so she stayed
at home. If she ever went to church
she had to 90 alone, and that was SO
dreary and she had SO many inquiries
1 I'd 1IiSWeT 1UOut lin uCdltu ehol ShO SSi'
dom went.
You'll miss me when I'm gone" he
would say cheerfully. and so she would
And she would have missed the old
clock in the corner, too, if it had sud.
denly disappeared.
..What does the doctor say about
me?" he asked her one day when the
village physician had gone out, first
calling her to one side. Perhaps Aunt
Nancy was a little worn out that dav,
or believes in heroic treatment, but she
deliberately answered..
'He thinks you haven't a disease ir
the world, Elisha. and that if you woult
take more exercise it would be better
for YOU
He was wounded to the quick, and dit
not speak to her for twenty-four hours
and he discharged the impolitic physi
clan the next day.
Uncle 'Lisha was fond of lachrymoss
hymns, and when not singing
"Hark from the tombs do!cfui sound"
He would tip back in his chair-the easi
est in the ehouse-close his eyes and chan
by the hour:
| .I'm coinp home
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-06-21
the bill prov iding a whipping

While the bill providing whipping
post for wife-beaters was pending in
the Massachusetts, Legislature an
amendment was offered to the effect
that if the man was drunk when he did
the beating the person who sold him
the liquor should be publicly whipped.
Boston HerGld.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-06-21
I'm going home
No more to roam,
No more to sin and sorrow,
No more to bear

The brow of care.
I'm going home Tomorrow.
But to-morrows came and went and
Uncle 'Lisha did not 90 home.
There was shelf in the closet which
was especially devoted to his medicines.
In his early davs he had dosed mildly
with rhubarb and sarsaparilla. Then
uuinine became the fashion and he dis
sipated on that. Liniments for rheu-
matism, patent nostrums and alternative
pills, completed the list, except that
there was no end to the domestic RENE
dies, such as mustard and ginger. and
other alleviating agents.
s.When l am gone" he would say
mournfully, give my medicines to
some deserving poor person. There III
never be another such sufferer in the
family as have been"
But there came a day when even
Uncle 'Lisha'S ailments were of little
account Aunt Nancy was sick, very
sick. She had been breaking down all
summer. but no one had been con-
cerned. least of all her husband, who
had developed new symptoms. that
were very alarming-to himself. Finally
she went to her bed and sent for her
children. They at once called in a doc
tor, who on his first visit looked eN-
ceedingly grave. Upon the second he
asked for private interview with
Uncle 'Lisha.
..Your wife is very sick woman"
he said, abruptly.
"She does seem ailing." said Uncle
'Lisha. rubbing his lame knee. and for
getting ut the moment which one it
was: ..but, bless YOU, Eve had the same
symptoms so long I'm used to them.
doctor. She's well. compared to me,
actually WE'LL"
The doctor looked at the old man with
some contempt.
Threatened lives last long" he
said, bluntly. .sBut have it your own
way. I've tried to prepare you-that' S
all.n
The doctor took leave, and Uncle
'Lisha went into the sick room. All
was calm and serene. Most of all,
that pale, still face on the pillow. The
patient eyes held the same kin0ly light
in them that had been there for thirty
years when they met his. The pinched.
white cheeks were only more sunken
and withered.
'Having kind of spell, amt you.
Nancy?" said Uncle 'Lisha. ''Now
don't git discouraged. ''rve felt jest
SO hundreds of times! IT'S nothing new
and nothing to worry about"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
The Lovers Plot.

Sir George Mackenzie, who tlourished
III the last half of the seventeenth CEN
tury, was one of the most eminent jur-
lists ever known in Scotland, besides be-
ing brilliant man ofletters. lie inner
tied wealth, and during his busy life he
added 80 much to it that he became one
OF the wealthiest men of his time. As a
politician he was self-willed and stub.
born, and at times violent. Between
himself and the young Earl of Butte u
strong political difference existed, which
neither showed a disposition to harmon
ize. Vet the earl had fallen deeply in
love with Sir Georges daughter, and the
love was by her returned. The lovers
knew that the stern old advocate would
not consent to their union. In fact, it
is doubtful if Sir George would have adj
mitted Butte to his house as a friend.
His feelings were deep and bitter, and
he had been heard to denounce the earl
as little better than a poli,i~a renegade.
The lovers put their heads together,
made man and wife. Of course, the
young lady could elope, and be married
clan'lestinely, and the father cou!'i not
help himself; but, ali! he could disin.
herit his .recreant daughter, and that
must not be. The young earl was not
mercenary. The damseTs prospective
wealth, as heiress Of her rich father,
had given her not a particle Of extra at
traction for him; yet he did not like the
idea Of having his wife deprived of her
just inheritance; and; naturally, lie did
not care to lose such a broad and grand
estate, for this daughter was an only
child.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
Talk of the Wits,

A lady at fashionable tea party, hav.
ing listened to Joaquin Miller recite hs.s
poetry, exclaimed, beautiful, Mr.. Mil
Ter; why do You not print some Of you,
poetry"
The end man; "Now you arc an
Ethiopian, Billy" said friend to Birch,
as he was putting on the finishing touches
for his evenings appearance. "No,"
was the reply, "I'm cork-ash-un,'
Simply perfect: Mrs. Al!cash tjust re-.
turned from abroad)-"Oh, but, of al
places, my dear, give me lily. In Ven
ice, now. it is simply perfect to dine g
kind of sort Of a dolce-far-nicntc way
and then 60 ON the grand canal and take
nice nap in your gondolier. "-Anon.
Enough to satisfy him: eyes, SIR"
said wood-dealer, II prefer to sell
wood to men who do their own saving.
You can't convince man who has work.
cd all day at wooa-pilv that there isn't
full cord Of Boston Post.
A sad affair; They afe~anow telling a
story about Chicago girl who insisted
on throwing her shoe after newly-mar.
ried couple. The carriage is q total
wreck, doctor has the bride and horse
under treatment and large numbers OF
men are searching the ruins for the
yroOm.-Anon.
Parso:,py taken back: It took youn g
Parss..hy all aback when, at the theatre
the other evening, he whispered to his
girl that he guessed he would step out a
moment to axe the air, aud she quietly
responded: cit is very oppressive
George III 20 out with you."-Boston
Transcript.
Dismissed: Enthusiastic Professor OF
Physics, discussing the organic and in
organic kingdoms-"Now, if I should
shut my eycs-so-and drop my head
:so--and should not move, you would say
| was c!od! But move, I leap, run;
then what do you call me?' Voice from
the rea:-''A clod-hopper!w Class is
Observation-Disclosures Miscellany.
In the way he should go: Gather"
said Johnnie, "this paper says that
many prominent citizens are now i'll
with pneumonia and kindred diseases
What is kindred disc .se father"
"Why, my son." said Sn;thy. "a kind.
red disease is-is-why-yes, yes: o
kindred disease is one that runs through
al entire Ia nly-Klnttred, relatives,
you know. Surprised you didn't know
that Johnnie"
A Boston honeymoon: They were q
Boston couple, who ha1 been married
cut a few weeks and had just gone Ito
housekeeping. AS the husband stood
at the area door one morning, with the
market basket in his hand, his bride
threw her arms around him and ex-
claimed: "Do you, Indeed love mo so
very, very much: Bradford?" Bunker
hill monument may fall" he answered
with enthusiasm, "but my love will al
ways stand" "Well, them" she ex-
claimed, kissing him, "don't forget the
beans. '-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
St1mulanCS anu intellectual
Work.

Mark Twain finds two glasses of cham.
pagno admirable for loosening the
tongue. and happy inspiration for an
| after-dlnner speech; but his experience
has been that wine clogs the brain for
mental work, and he can never write to
his own satisfaction af.er drinking even
one glass. He likes tobacco as stimu.
liant. Oliver Wendell Holmes prefers
an entirely undisturbed and I'M.
clouded brain for mental work, unstim.
u'ated by anything stronger than tea or
coffee, unaffected by tobacco or other
drugs. His faculties are best under. his
control in the forenoon, between breas-
fast and lunch. The only intellectual
use he can find in stimulants is the
quickened mental action they produce
when taken in company. He thinks
ideas which thus reach the brain may
remain after the stimulus has ceased.
w. ID, Howells never uses tobacco, ex.
q great many other persons are
smoking, and when he takes vine
wine it weakens his work and his work.
ing force next morning. Lyman Abbot
uses neither alcohol nor tobacco. Math.
ew Arnold drinks claret habitually, and
it suits him. The late George NJ. Beard
found alcohol benumbing and stupefy.
ing. but tobacco, opium. tea. and coffee
had an effect precisely the reverse.
Professor Blackie takes wine to sharpen
his appetite, but never as a stimulant
for in ell cctual work. Wilkie Collins
says that he is nerved and composed by
tobacco. Thomas A. Ellison is too
violently excited by smoking or drink
ing. but gets inspiration from chewing
tobacco. Gladstone regards wine in
moderate quantities as necessary to him
at ire time of the greatest intellectual
exertion, but he detests tobacco.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
Looking Ahead.

"Why don't you .marry?" was asked Of
a young man who had been minglinq
with the best society for years, had am.
pie means to support wife, and could,
had he chosen, have had the pick from
a score of handsome young ladies.
II haven't found a girl that suits me
yet," was his response.
''There's Miss A."
eyes. l know; she's all right enough
now, but what'N she be twenty years
hence, with that nose and chin the drawn
image of her mother? Why, she'll be just
like tho old woman hideousy ugly.
want wife that will wear. Pm looking
out for the future, am"
"How about Julia B.? She ought to fiji
the bill; the features. handsome and reg.
ular; form, graceful; pleasant CONVERSE
tionalist; plenty Of money"
every true, hut do you know her
grandmother? No? Well, Julia is the ex-
act likeness in every particular Of her
grand mother at twenty. Just be.
Weighed three hundred and
forty pounds, didn't have hair ON her
head Or a tooth in her mouth, Think l
want to he leading aroun'l bald-h head
ed, toothless old whale, and introducing
her. to my friends as my wife? Not
much"
"The Smith girl isl
''The Smith girl! Jevver see our cook?
We've hail her sixteen years. When
she first worked for us you couldn't have
told her eyes from the Smith girls. Nov
she's blind in one and cross. eyed in the
other. Ia feel nice: wouldn't l, to have
wife III a & x like tl.at?"
"rhere's Alice Brown-a perfect Juno!
BY Jove! she has a carriage hks that
blood d bay Of yours
res, and that blooded bay Of mine
died Yesterday Of distempcr. Suppose l
want a houseiul Of horse medicine? No,
sir; no Alice Brown for me- There's
no use in talking. I've made up my
mind that haven't yet met the lady OF
my choice. There's no rush about it,
anyway, and l'll bide my time"
He got married finally to a widow Will,
three sets of children. He said he hadn't
any fear Of her changing materially, she
was abcat as tough and ugly now as she
ever could be, and theSe was some salts.
faction in that
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24

His report was, that after reading and
rereadiny and porting over the passage
the bard exclaimed, "Whien I wrote those
lines knew what they meant. But I
don't now, don't nOWi"
1.-THE story be not true, it is we'll in.
vented:
"Is that a wheel-barrow! said one Of
Turner'S admirers, pointing to spot of
red in his landscape.
Certainly not, said another. ut is
woman. Am not right. Mr.. Turner"
''Now whether intended woman or
wheelbarrow, I cannot tell, gentlemen.
Take which you please> which you
The great artist can (perhaps) afford
to be vague in his effects, and to leave
bis blurred, uncertain touches to the inn
agination of the critics. Bnt the man
who would help the world by his idea
must first make the idea clear to him.
sell, and then transmit It to others as
clear and sharply defined as il seen
through brilliant sunlight.
Horace Greeley,th most powerful
writer on everyday topics whom this
country has produced, AMI who certain
friends and enemies than any other DO.
litical writer. used to say to his subor.
dinates' "Find out first what you want
TO say, and then make It clear. Make it
as clear as It the nun you were writing
for had never heard Of the subject be-:
fore. Do not be- afraid to repeat or to
use common words. Use any words,
repeat, hammer it in.-only make it
clear" There is as good recipe for ed
itorial writer's as ever was given.
-Youth's Companion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
The Importance of Good Water

AAAO AAApO1 U&1uC0 VI UOOu -"aCers
A remarkable outbreak of entric fever
occurre in Eversham, England last sum-
mer. Fifty-one households we're invad.
ed with 6S cases, 46 of the patients falling
i'll during the fortnight ending August 8.
The houses in which the patients lived
were in many instances several miles
apart, their sanitary circumstances, va
ried widely, sewers anC water supply
were entirely different. and the milk
supply was derived from several indie.
pendent sources. In these CIRCUMSTANCES
1t was no easy matter for health officers
to discover the source of the epidemic.
1t was found, however, that all tine pa-
tients attacked before August8 had at
tended regatta at Eversuam,
and that they had ali been
present in one particular meadow.
Further investigations developed the
fact that 81 of the St had certainly, and
! had most proba a y, partaken of re-
treshments at a certain stall. The other
three were in DOUBT: In one instance
two of the party of three drank lemon
ade, while the third took nothing; the
two had the fever, the other escaped.
The water used in the refreshment stalls
had been drawn from q we'll near the
meadow, the water of which was found
to, be so contaminated that it was at
once closed, the belief of the health of.
ticer being that this polluted we'll had
been the immediate source of the epi.
demic. The ice as well as the wafer
used in beverages, is often a source of
peril, since the bonds from which it il
cut are too frequently foul if not infected.
The theory that water in freezing clears
itself Of noxious geams has been shown
by careful trial to be untrue. Contain.
mated fater yields impure ice, no M It.
ter how slowly the freezing point is &C.
complished.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
Cin(lerS in the Eve.

Many people know al! about the ex.
ce]lence Of cardamon seeds land a dozen
other things) to perfume a smokers
breath, who are very igporan in mat
ter of far more consequence good an
tidote for cinders in the eye. 1t will
pay travellers to try the simple recipe
given in tie Indiana State Sentinel, and
put few seeds OF another kind ALONG
with the cardamOn when starting on q
Journey.
Persons travelling by railway are SUBJ
ject to continued annoyance by Ealing
cinders. On getting into the eyes these
are not only painful for the moment.
but are often the cause of long suffering
that ends in total loss of sight.
A very simple and effective cure is
within the reach of every one. and
would prevent much suffering and ex-
pense were it generally known.
1t is simply one or two grains of fax
seed. These may be placed in the eye
without Injury or pain to that delicate
organ, and shortly they begin to swell
and dissolve and glutinous
substance that covers the ball OF the eve
engeloping any foreign substance that
may be in it. The irritation of outline
the membrane is thus prevented, and
A dozen of these slowed away in the
vest.pocket may prove in IN emerrencv
worth their number In 9old.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
How Wilkle Collins Works,

"How 90 work, Mr.. Collins, rapidlyw
mo, not very. Let me see. Iwrite
about nine or ten pages Of book day
when l work regularly. 1t usually takes
me six months to turn out book after
get fairly started upon it. work chief
Iy at night, and use very large-sized
sheets of paper, on which I write very
slowly, and cut great deal. Here,
Row, is the manuscript Of my last story.
The Black Robe You see it is scratch
ed and worked over until it becomes
scarcely decipherah!c. The printer can
read it,. however: even ii you can't, at 4
glance"
Icouldn't read it at glance, and am
not sure that could real it at all. And
yet have read letters written hv John
W. Forney, and made out what Horace
Greeley was trying to write. It Was cut,
interllned, the interlineations interIned
again, sentences written on the side and
hauled into place by line around them,
and erasures which looked as though
the writer, in trying to scratch out
through the paper on the other silc.
There were blots everywhere.
cit is pretty good days work for me
to get through three Of these pages in a
day"
Three of his pages would make about
l 200 words; or, say, two-thirds of the
space Of this column.
''When l come to the last I get the
fever on, and l make the pages fly
Then | am in way, and write and
write till nature either stops me or fin-
ish. When I came near the end of
Man and Wife, wrote awav for dear
life some tweIve or fourteen hours.
without further rest than the exercise i
took when l got on the floor to act my
situations and represent my characters,
and no further reireshment than a Little
dry champagne and a few frissoIes."
do you always act your characters?"
eyes. invariab bly,. l have to consider
what they would do, and how, before l
try to tell for a certainty how, under
given circumstances they would behave.
Finishinga book like that always ex-
hausts me very much. BY the way,
have the Americans acquired the habit
of having dog run by their heels? Be-
cause. when Lwas in America they did
not do that, and noticed, too, they did
not carry sticks like we lo.''-Corre
snondence Boston Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1884-04-24
JeffersOn's Rip Van Wrinkle.

The first impression introduced by
Mr.. Jefferson in this part Of Rip concerns
his admirable picturesqueness as an
actor. He now seems to be boor by
Teniers. and now gro:esque figure by
Ca'lot, while his aspect in the latter
scenes, after his awakening from his 20
years sleep, conveys suggestions of Tin.
toret or Titan. He has an ease of move
ment and a grace of attitude that owe
nothing, apparently to Fermentation,
but are yet invariably, appropriate and
OF invaluable assistance to the illusion of
the scene. He has that seeming un-
consciousness of his audience which is
the peculiar possession of actors Of the
~ skil!e in all the articles of the stage,
displaying his accomplishments, how
ever, with rare moderation and discern.
ment. His management of his vol is
mastery: his tones are seldom IA sed
above conversational level; his
about it no show of effort; yet every
word he utters comes home to and tells
upon his all Hence; the humor of his
Dutch accent never being forced upon
the ear as a thing necessarily demand
ing laughter, but employed with ease
and calm, as though it wero in truth in.
separable from the actors own natural
method Of utterance. 1t is simply by
his surprising naturalness. indeed, that
Mr.: Jefferson commands applause in the
earlier port ors of the play. Rip is a
tippler and un|ettered; lie loves the glass
out of an inherent conviviality of dispo-
sItion; but he is acute-witted enough,
and his sense of humor is exceedingly
strong. He perceives something oomi.
cal even in his own degradation and
ruin; his weakness in resuming the evil
habit he ''swored OF" is to
him more laugiabIe than shameful;
he is amused by his own apprehensions
of his wife's scolding tongue; and though
he reviles his vehement helpmate, it is
without real bitterness, with a droll
sense, indeed, that he fully merits her
worst treatment of him. He is lazy, inc.
briate worthless; he has squan.
dered his property and stops at a
tavern while his wife and children are
left at home but scantily provided with
food and rainent; yet he never loses
bold upon sympathy. 4 certain tender.
ness of nature redeems him from abso-
Lutte reprohation.-Nights at the Play
Dutton Cook.