Weekly graphic. [volume] (Kirksville, Adair Co., Missouri) 1880-1949, 1884-07-18

" w Hat Is So idIe DIS udy I'D uhS!
A steak at chop-house.
Chicago IS called the Garden City
becauee it raises so many "beats."
Smoking does not agree with some
people; but it always seems to SCOT
the chimney.
Josh Billings says: "Next to clear
conscience for solid comfort Gums an
old shu."
Did it ever occur to you that whe
the Sultan goes to crosse the Bosphs rus
he takes a chaique.
Peaches in New York are two dol
each-one dollar for the peach and
one dollar for the doctor.
He ::"In America. you know, we
have no standing army" She: What Are
they all mounteds"
Fashionable young ladies have their
pet cats photographed. We're glad of
it. Cats always do appear to better
advantage when they're taken from
life.
An agricultural exchange. in an arti-
Gle on "How to Feed Horses" men,
tons feeding "corn in the ear" as one
way. This may be an economical way,
but it must be excessively painful to
the horse.
a colored m an went into Calves
ton newspaper Office and wanted to
suscribe for the paper. "How long
do you want l.?" asked the clerk.
'Jes as long as it is, boss; If it don't fit
de shelves, l kin tar piece off N.Y.
SELF"
Master, your best horse won't eat
anything" "Give him three table
spoonfuls of Days Horse and Cattle
Powder in a warm mash. That is what
he needs for loss of appetite" Price
twenty-five cents per package of one
pound, full weight.
"My daughter, you ought to have
some aim in life,' said father to. his
sixteen-year-old: "Oh! am going tc
papam was the esthusi astic reply
~ have got my beau already"
A certain gentleman recently lost hi:
wife, and a young miss of six years
who came to his funeral. said to hi.
little daughter of about the same age
"Your papa will marry again, won
he7" ''Oh, yes was the reply. "Bu
not till after the tuneral!"
Mr.. Walter Besant says that som,
nineteenth century novelists will neve
be suffered to die. To which an edit
or responds +: "Did it not make u
sad to differ with Walter, we Shout,
marvel that some ninteenth centur
noyelists were ever permitted to live.
| 1t is said that Lord Dudley, note,
for his Observation-Disclosures, once me
Sidney Smith in the street and said
"Dine with me to day, and I'll &c
Sidney Smith to meet you" Nj
Smith thanked him politely but declir
ed, because he was engaged to NEE
him elsewhere.
There is a statue Of Henry Clay i
the Capitol Square at Richmond. Vi
Two colored girls were promenadin
the Square one afternoon, when OIL
was overheard to say to the Other
"Dat's Clay" who you trying I
fools OATS marbul; and you know
it3' replied her indignant friend.
Here is specimen of German r,
partee. A Frenchman said to Be
liner "Your Iron Cross, the higl
est Prussian order, is simply ride,
lous-it has an intrinsic value of scare,
. ly five SOUS" To which the native
r the Prussian capitalreplied: II don
2 deny it +; but it has nevertheless CO
you two Napoleons."
Our county exchanges of last sho
J remarkable dearth of local item
Fl Speaking of the reunion the Mi
, an Standard says; Saturday mornin
the uniformed Knights of Pythlas fro,
Kirksville arrived and paraded with til
j Select Knights A. o. u. w. TIL
; company presents a magnificent al
: lpearance.