Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-11-15
StubbOrnness of "a Hog.

If there is one thing on earth more
provoking than another, it is the Amer
lean hog in place where he should not
be. A hog in a door-yard or field of
growing grain, or garden, would have
been too much for Job, who would prob
ably have Immediately gone out of the
piety business, and begun making re-
marks but little calculated to advance
the cause of Christ.
When a hog breaks down the barriers
between himself and society, and ia
vades the sacred precincts of mans cul-
tivated fields, there is going to sui
phurous odor in the atmosphere, and
the world is going to be made blue with
energetic forms of expression.
Did you ever see the owner in fee of a
fertile and blooming close, greet a hog
as he bowed himself into his presence?
We derived the above phrases from a
lawbook, and know them to be suitable
to the occa. ion. If you never saw
tragedy in its highest sense, we will
describe it to you.
The hog enters at the right upper en-
trance or any other entrance he hap,
pens to observe, and strikes an attitude
of deep reflection. He pauses and sur
veys the ground where the deadly rem.
counter is to occur, and grunts defiance
to the world. If you have never seer
O'Neil play "Monte Christo," save YOU
half dollar and leave your front gate
open when there are no hogs in sight
Take position at your window anc
wait; the hog that was nowhere to bt
seen enters. After pausing to allow th'
applause to subside, he says in striking
pantomime:
The world is mine-ew thrilling the
''r" in world with tragic effect. Having
seen the hog render this heroic passage
YOU will be overcome with a burning
desiie for his exit, and will 90 forth tC
hasten it, only to find that his hogshiI
is SO infatuated with the heartiness o
his reception that he is 10th to 60. Lott
as used here, should be spelled with
capital a." There is no other kind o
10th so 10th in character as that used b,
a hog in leaving the premises he hal
invaded.
| You seize club and seek to convinc,
him that his room is preferable to hi
company. He differs with you. and yol
are Obliged to argue the question. FL
wayers, seems almost convinced, thel
; hesitates, and lastly, questions the col
rec.ness of your conclusions. You insist
, ne demonstrates. You assert; he denies
} You command; he declines to obey. Yov
argue the question with him and pOin
out to him the course you deem it bes
, for him to pursue; he indicates that h
= is of "a different opinion and shows hi
, preference for the other way of going o.
to victory. He goes; you follow. IL
leads YOU into hooks and corners an
over gently rising slopes and you plung
after him into lark and uninviting raw
: ines and rush headlong into the thorn
r Jungle of gooseberry bushes. You col
ner him and think YOU have the best O
the argument, only to find that he .hai
messed; and he goes between your leg
1 at an unexpected moment and down
, YOU. You strike at him as he eapprOach
es, and he takes the club between hi
: teeth and barks your shins with as yo
fall over his back. He declines to exit
and in the heat of the discussion, yo'
, get rifle and enact the last scene i
, the great tragedy, by shooting the lii
| out of him. Ten to one you think yo
4 have him then; but you have not. Whe
e you seek to drag him out, you find tha
. he is too heavy for you, and he
triumphant even in death. Throug
Mail.