Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1884-03-27
VT IND HUlIOR.

said Brown; smith won't have 50 soft =
thing as he has had" Il don't know, re-
piled Robinson; he'll have a soft thing so
long as he doesn't lose his head"
Another poet comes forward aad says:
And hear the hiss Of a scorehing kiss"
Beats all wha, man can hear if he is only
mean enough 70 listen.
A matter ofcourse: NO, sir, my daught-
er can never b, yours" 81 don't wan, her
to be my daughter broke in the young
ardent, d" I want her to be NJ wife"
II is said that out of every one hundred
and nine female school teachers, sevenmarry
,yery year" How awful it must be for
those seven women to marry every year.
IN Irishman, recommending COW, said
she would give good milk year after year
without having calves, because it ran in the
breed. as she came from COW that never
had d calf
Humph ." said a young gentleman at
the theatre to q young lady, Il could play
the lover better than that myself.' Il
would like to see you try," was her naire
reply.
\ man very much intoxicated Wa taken
20 the station Why did you not bail him
out?" inquired a bystanIer Of friend.
Bale him QUIZ" exclaiml the ether.
Why you couldn't pump him out. 20
Mistress And you may all of you ask a
friend to dinner, you know and Sni.hers,
you can ask your wife" Butler Thank
you, ma'am think not, if you please,
ma'sm." Punch.
Woman is So b,al; tina. she but seldom
can throw straight. Providence, it Is truly
said, orders everything for the best. and
after a husband has seen one tin-cup sail
harmlcssly by his head he can run before
she can snatch up another.
When You sec an oyster dealer smile gra-
ciously and shake hands cordially with
man whom he meets on the street, just iu
s,itute quiet inquiries and see if chat man is
not thc father ola number Of grown daugh
tors
Cosy Island is building i;selfan immense
hotel of wood, iron and tin, shaped like an
elephant. The figures in feet quite staggcr
ones cycsight. I, rill be ready June -.
Those who really wan; to sec the elephant
and get inside Of him must follow the crowd
this summer
An exchange, says Daring the ten months
ended with d., October nearly $4,000
pounds Of opium were imported into this
country, against an importation Of less than
2oO,O00 pounds for the corresponding pc
Rod Of theyoar preceding, and even smaller
amounts for previous years.
q don't understand why women dress
that WY" saida mln pointing 70 a lady
who passed along the street.
Idon't either" replied bystandcr
"That woman. continued ,hc frs; speak
er. is dfes, sea riiiculoully. Her husband
must be q fool
"Iknov hs is, said tAe by,anler.
Do you know him %
"Oh, yes I'm the blamed fool myself
The wealth believed TO be lurking in tho
Cpur Daleue mines on PricharI Creek 81
miles noFth Of the y. +. r. r. ia Northwest
Idaho is attracting throags Of Prospectors.
a new city called Elgiehas sprung up in
night and contains SJJ people, a news
paper and an opera house Cabin lumber
is selling at $50 thousand feet. -four $50
Fbbl.. board s. day and mining imple-
meu,s command eNorbitsns p1ces.
An Arkansas citizen of the highest re-
spectability was arraignod in court for kill
ing friend. The evidence Of his guilt was
clear, and the Judge said l., vas a plain
case.
But protest my innocence replied the
prisoner THE Indictment reads that did
shoot and kill the gentleman wish powder
and a leaden bullet. This is a mistake l
had no bullets at the time, so loaded my
gun with powder and horseshoe nail "
That indeed, alters the east" said the
judge. "The indictment said bullet, when
Il should have said nail You are dis
charged, sir