Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-10-24
FUN.
HANNAH AND HER PIANO. j..

| HANNAH AND HER PIANO.
''Pray, Jones. what's the matter 'twixt Hannal
and yoE:
I'm told that your courtship is over;
! What caused you to leave her: She wasn't un
Art thou, then, recreant lover,"
! The matter with Hannah is, 'twixst me ant
She's learning to play the piano;
She bangs it increasingly, sings to it, too,
And that's what's the matter with HANNAH.
-Summerville Journal
An eloping coachman's apology
II was driven to it."
The Philadelphia Times advise
Morosini's son-in-law to go and b.
Niagara hackman, and look dowr
on the old maa.
The Boston girl is considered ac
complished when she can sneeze
without dropping off her eyeglasses
You can tell an ex schoolmastel
every time. He always tries his chain
with his hand before sitting down on
it.
"Yes, sir" said Mrs. Partjngton.
speaking of one who drank himself
to death-"yes, sir, dissolution
has brought many man to his
grave"
Queen Victoria pays her chief
cook So, 500 year, and yet she has
only oatmeal for breakfast. 1t is
worth So, 500 to cook oatmeal SO tt a.
it is worth eating.
At a recent marriage ceremony In
one of the Province churches, the
contracting parties Were thirty min
utes behind time, and the organ peal
ed out: 20, dear, what can the matter
be?"
The Modern Bartender's Guide
has just been issued by q New York
publisher. The modern bartender
doesn't need a guide SO badly as the
modern young man who patronizes
the bar.
Since the elopement of New York
belle with her fathers coachman, ii
has been suggested that the great
cloud hanging over many wealthy
families can be removed by teaching
the girls to walk or ride the bicycle.
scene-Table d'hote at fashionable
hote, Deeside; big market day. Farm
er of the old school has dined. Waiter
Finished, sir?" Farmer-''Fat's
the charge?" Waiter-"Five shillings,
please" Farmer (startled) - Five
shillings2 Weel, I'm nae deem yet.
Resumes operations.
A young man blackened his nous
tache with lead comb, and then took
his girl out for a moonlight stroll.
When the fair one appeal ed in the
bright light of the family circle a
a couple of hours later, her face look
ed like railroad map.
A girl at Fremont, Neb., has taken
the first prize for blowing the largest
soap bubble at church sociable.
And yet some people urge that church
sociables are productive Of no real,
lasting benefit! Young men in Ere
mont, when looking for a wife, will
select some other girl-one less
liable to elbow them up" now and
then.
Alonzo Moore of Cumberland, Pa,
put on an old pair of summer trousers
and fosnd the right pocket unusually
heavy. He put in his hand and drew
out a black snake three feet long.
Ladies' who are in the habit of going
through their husbands pockets
whenever they get chance should
make note of this.
"Why Charley, old boy, howdy
haven't seen you in dogs age; where
are you going now with all those
trapsg" queried Jenkins as he met
Charley Sanderson on his way to the
ferry:
ooh; I'm off for Europe for two
months trip"
Europe! Lord, you better keep
away from there; too much cholera. ,
Hump: I'm not afraid of cholera,
I've been umpiring all summer; chol
era has no terrors for me"
There are losses which people suffer
unconsciously, like that sustained by
the geGlogist who hired a Scotch gillit
to carry his bag of specimens across
the mountains. "It was heavy load
and just nothing but stones" sale
Donald. relating his experiences to {
friend, land 1 was not fool enough tC
drag the pebbles guide ten miles
l Just emptied the bag before l started
and filled it at the cairn l last came
to, and the gentleman was just a
pleased" The unlucky geol.gist wa
doubtless puzzled by the contents 0
the bag when he came to examine
later