The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1884-10-31

hunt for things that are not wanted. We
do not seek them out because they are
needed, but simply to prove that they
are there"
cts a big thing" says the new mem
Der, sardonically, and moved off and
pretended to interest himself in our
new chart, wherein the search for the
Holy Grail, the crusades for the eco
cry of the Holy Sepulchre, and the
search for the northwest passage are In
g%eniously contrasted.
"The society now settled down to
business, and asked me for the details
of my project. / said that, to begin
with, exhaustive study and investiga-
ton had convinced me that Hall was
not located within the body of ouI
globe; hence / inferred that it must be
above us somewhece-donbtless in some
part of the empty space between us and
the stars. Continuing. / said:
81 propose to employ balloons IN
flated with pure oxygen. / would not
send a feet of balloons, but simply n
at a time. / shall desire the society to
petition congress for an appropriation
of $3.50, 600 for the equipment and ex-
penses of each of ten balloons. / would
start the first n up, say, about the
beginning of the coming summer /
would start up the second to hunt for
the first, say, about a year later.
After an interval Of a year more,
! would start up the third to
hunt for the other two, anu bring
home buttons and other such relics of
the crews as might be found. Every
year thereafter / would sond up a fresh
balloon to hunt for the previous bal
looms and carry relief to the survivors
that is gravestones and monuments
and SO on, to be set up where the birds
and the comets might see them from
time to time, and be reminded of the
brave deeds of the departed martyrs to
science. This method, you see, is sys-
tematic; the very thing which all previ-
Gus efforts Of this kind have lacked was
system. We have always waited till
we knew an expedition was lost before
we sent out another to hunt for it;
whereas, since we knew it would get
lost, the right and only wise course
would have been to send out a process
sion of expeditions at brief and
regular intervals, so that they
could begin to hunt for each other
without disastrous delays. Many
spoons and jack knives and other valu-
able relics have been irretrievably lost
to science because the search expedi-
tions waited SO long that these things
got showed up meantime, or were cap
tured by the natives and bartered oil
for blubber. Now, under my system,
nothing of the kind will happen. The
balloons will follow each other at short
and measured intervals, and the work
of hunting for each other, and grave
stoning each other and gathering up
each others remains, will begin right
away, as you may say. And by keep
ing this sort of thing upright along and
55r;skkiiyy there is not d question that
o or later one or another of these
balloons will find Hall-and collapse
into it, and stay there, too. And the
whole honor Of it will belong to this
geographical society, this great nation
and congress-
THE applause which greeted me when
/ sat down was something marvellous.
T felt that the next most glorious thing to
going to Hall under my system was to
have originated the way. 1t was al this
point that the new member meandered
up to the front and made that little
speech that / said i was going to
tell you about, you know. Said he:
Gentlemen, / wish to resign. LII it
was your idea to hunt up a cheaper and
softer Northwest passage to Paradise,
you could count me in every time. But
I don't want any Of this present project
in mine. Now, mind, / tell you. /
think that a geographical society that
laws out to take all this trouble and
spend all this money to find that other
place is Harvesting itself to a mighty
unnecessary contract. For just this
reason: 1t won't benefit the general
public, for they don't want to go there,
and, moreover, they don't eyen wish to
know where il is; and as for the geo
graphical societies, they don't need tc
worry, for if they will sit still and keep
eeoi they Will land there ali IN good
time and plenty 500 enough.
"Whereupon we fired him out"