The Portland daily press., 1884-11-21


(Which is in the State Nv Kentucky,
Nov. 6, 1884.
Never senee the fust battle of Boil Run,
when it wuz represented that the Fedrel Ar
my had bin entirely destroyed, aud that the
Confedrits wuz in posseshun NV Washington,
wuz there sich feelin nv sbsloot Jog in the
Corners ez Wednesday mite when We reserved
the glad intelligence that our noble standard
barer, ex-Sheriff Cleveland he'd bin electid.
The eject wuZ eleetrikle. The overjoyed
Dimocrisy howled. Issaker Gavitt footed the
horn wich we use, OWN to the fact that the
monny fur bell wich wuz sent Us by the Moo
England Church Extenshun Society happened
to come to me ez the pastor, and Bascom
knowing Nv it made nae apply half uv 1t to
the likwidashun NV bill at his bar, and the
other hart lost that mite at game nv seven
up with Dekin Pogram. However, the horn
does very we'll, ez it is one Nv crate power and
remarkably soft in tone.
We wood hev he'd speeches, bat Bascom, wich
is ass, wuZ so ful nv joy that he spilled the
hull thing by remarkin that his wife and sun
Jeffson Davis, wuz putin fresh barl on
tap, aud that the Corners WIZ welcum.
Good the citizens endoor staying in the
meetin house under these circumstances? No
indeed There wuz wild rush for his place,
and the barl w1z set runnin, and the mite WIZ
givin over to sich rejoicing ez seldom falls to
the lot nv man.
At about in the evening, wuz pulled out
ny my chare and stood up ON whiskey barl
wuz roodly pulled down, 1t wuz that feend,
Joe Bigler, who remarkt that he felt very
much like maxim a speech hisself, and when
in the mood Nv dischargin hisself he didn't
want no interrupsheD.
"My frends," he commenst, 81 am with 700
to-nite to rejoice with VOC over the glorious re-
suits nv the eleckshunW
"Yoo rejoice with usl' eggsclamed the sup
prised meetin. "Why, you are Black Re-
puOikin"
Garroo ;, ba ranIiaS Gsoo troo h,t st;i1 Z -
ioice. I confess that havin family hedn't
the nerve to vote fur Cleveland, bat neverthe-
less | rejoice that he is electid."
"Give MS yer reason" shouted the eggscited
multitood.
II hev a reason and it is a good one. kin
git along under any sort nv a Government; bat
gentlemen 1 hev children. 1 hev bin mitily
concerned ez to wat will become nv them when
am gone, and consekently went to see how
much uv strane Government kin bare and
survive. The reason why am glad Cleveland
is eectid is that of this Government kin stand
four years Nv sich man, and them which will
be behind him, 1t will endoor forever, for GER
tainly we kin never possibly git anything wuss
Ell the people. want man wich Good rite that
letter to Mrs Beecher, and be ruther proud Nv
it, ther amt no danger Nv ther ever bein' any
thing but republik on this continent. Ef il
stands that strane it will stand any thing.
81 rejoice becoz ii is the carryin out, in one
sense, Nv our system. 1t is our proud boast
budb duy Ouo may osplEo 10 lu6 ET6elQeQCY.
The eleckshun Toosdy shows that that is no
vane boast Anybody, 1 say anybody, after
this may aspire to the Presidency, Of sich a
man ez Cleveland kin git there.
II rejoice over the eleckshun nv Cleveland
becoz 1t wuz to be eggspected that sumtime in
the histry nv the Republik sich man shood,
by some inscrutable decree nv Divine Provi-
dence, be elevatid to the Presidency, and he'd
rather the calamity would happen while 1 am
alive to endoor 1t, then to hev it fall upon my
amt oh i'm 4 -
knowd greet. hey seen sich men ez Pierce
and Bookannon President, and know what to
expect. But with my iDnosent children it is
different, and want this calamity to come
while am alive and kin sort O. comfort and
sheeld EN-. Gentlemen, 1 am sick, but this
feertul disgrace he'd to come some time. l am
glad il hez come now"
Then josef staE ked out nv the room and
We resoomed our rejoicing, Bascom's Que barl
didn't last long. IneZmucb eZ it wuz q certain
be ours, he felt is safe to extend credit to sich
eZ wood materially fill them places,
and we ordered recklisly. aih't shoor
how much am in, nor is Bas-
com, for he hadn't the next mornin
time to hgger up tue books, bnt think must
hev ordered at least $50 wutb myself. The
credit system is dangerous, for it is so easy to
order when yoo don't hev to pail the money
out Nv yer pockit and pay.
don't keer, however. The post offls Is mine
and, when am drorin my salery kin pay him
orr by iDstallmence.
The festivities wuz KEEP uD till day lite aud
the heft Nv of the Corners slep on his floor,
wat little sleep they got. 1t wuz glorious
celebrsshen nv glorious event. Half the
toasts that wuz drunk wuz to the Prohibishn-
tits nv Moo York, whose zeel for st. John
enshoord the eleckshun nv Cleveland aud
strosk deth blow at the Tsmpranss fanatic
ism which seriously threatened us even in
Kentucky. Out nv the i've barls nv whisky
consoomed, three nv EN- wuz to our Prohibshn
friends. The Prohiblshnists and the rum mills
Nv Moo York did yhe biznis.
My heart is overAowin. It is the fust gleem
nv supshine hev seen tor twenty-five years.
Hallelooiyl
PETROLEUM v. Massey. (Full)