The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1884-11-26

Some paragraphist says that Frank
lin did not discover lightning until al
ter he was married. There are man
men not half so great as Franklin VIII
not only discover lightning after the,
are married, but catch thunder.
A father-in-law at wedding attemp
ted to chaff the groom: II hope now
sir, that you viii not get into any NOR
scrapes. mo-" said the new son-in
law, II shall not have a chance; shall
never get out of this one. "-Pr0Uidenc
NewS.
The man who played the trombon,
| next door to us is dead. We have sen
in our congratulations to his reyiving
family, and are seriously contemplate
ing Joining the church again. There
is now nothing to prevent such a step
Dial.
It's pretty difficult thing for higl
school girl to think of something to say
when she goes to write composition
but as soon as she gets out of schoo
and while on the way home she can say
a whole newspaper full without think
ing.
''And was his death apeaceful oneP'
an old lady asked concerning one who
had recently departed. "Well, yes,
madame, was the response, lit might
be called peaceful; it certainly was full
of pieces. He was blown up with dyn-
amite.
"Oh, yes" said Mrs. Parvenu, talk.
inc about music at Mrs. Suddenriches
reception, Il just dote on them sym
pathy concerts, and my husband in
sists on our prescribing for the whole
series. Amt them Beethoven rhapso.
dies real elegant"
A woman has been arrested In New
York for cruelty whipping her oldest
son. She told the magistrate that she
didn' know it was a violation of the
law for a woman to ''bang her heir.
Then he doubled the amount of her
bail. -NorriStoaUn Herald.
1t is announced that Mrs. Belva
Lockwood intends to have her Cabinet
made a la Pompadour, cut bias, with
seven rows of anticipating down the
front, and jabot of Spanish lace, with
ruehings of Scotch null and pink bows
around the neek.-Springfeld Union.
Great care should be taken by the
public not to confound the Coaching
and the Coachmen's Clubs. While
the former is made up of gentlemen
and gentlemen's sons, in the latter
neither of these are eligible, only
gentlemen's soE-in-law being admitted.
Hotel Register.
''Of all the watering places commend
mo tn Prvua0uf EIou1oiY1 Cohulfza
from Berlin, came here suffering from
a severe attack of impecuniosity and I'm
three weeks she was perfectly cured. /"
by drinking the watersP" mo; by a
wealthy American, whom she is going
to marry. Der Ulk.
The Paris Municipal Council has vot-
ed $500 to enable a delegation of car
penters to go tc Sweden and Norway
for the purpose of finding out how it is
that ready-made doors and window
frames from those countries can be de-
iyered in Paris at less cost than the
price there of the unwrought material.
A Binghampton clergyman denoun-
res roller skating Kinks for girls on ac-
count of their demoralizing character.
Nothing demoralizes girl more when
the is gliding along on roller skates,
han to suddenly reach out after the
lnattainable with both feet and sit |
Town emphatically on her shoulder
blades. 1t quickly destroys her appe-
lite forroller skating. -Norristoa0n Her
lld.
One of those summer school philoso-
,hers who know everything says: |
There are no classes and no caste dis
motions in this country" Oh, there
rent, isn't there! just let the philos-
lpher put on a last winters suit and a
traW hat, and ask the hotel clerk for a
ice room on the parlor floor He'll
earn something about the illimitable
nfinity of distance to the mansard roof
hat never occurred to him before.
Charley said mamma, s.you have
cen very naughty boy; you have
cen playing marbles, and you know
old you that you mustn't, for it is
and gambling is very wick
d. Now, | hope you will never
amble again. Charley promised he
couldn't, and his mamma was so de-
GIFTED that she took him to the parish
lir. and gave him the money to take
hances in almost anything there.
s.Whaeher cream wufh?n asked the
ountryman, pausing before the ice
ream yender, backed BY crowd of
Ten cents a plate, 2 said
lie vender, seeing, as he thought, 8
age sale. s.Lemme see, muttered
le rustic. turning and counting his
lends; then, after completing his
)Hnt, he said, extravagantfy, Gimme
Re plate an fourteen spunes. I'll swar
is gang shan't say ole Hiram's
ingy.
g That internal old hen hasn't laid an
2 in a month, said PretzeI the
her morning to his frau. II think
1 chop her head of. = s.Don't been
cruel, replied Gretchen. Il have
me patience NIT her. '.Patiencei
aven { I been patient with her7 And
vent been to her. nest every day
{ 3 month"; dots all right Carl;
ost look somewhere else, too.
ess maybe she has mislaid them. -
etsers Weekly.
This IS the reason why cats wash
sir faces after meals: A cat caught !
arrow and was about 10 devour il, but 3
; sparrow said: No gentleman eats
J till he has first washed his face. {
e cat. struck with this remark, set 3
sparrow down and began to wash :
face with his paw, but the sparrow
y away. This yexed Puss exceed !.
III. and he said: As long as / i've
ill eat first and wash my face after-
ID. Which al cats do to this day.
ID Fable.