Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-06-25
Balky.

of an ancient type and had evidently
been used great many years. All
at once the ircn-grey mule came to n
standstill. lie refused to move, He
wouldn't 60. The dilapidoted speci-'
men of a long departed past beat him
vigorously with a club. The old man
pounded him numerically, But that
mule refused to go. He would not
move. By this time great crowd
had gathered about, and strange to
say almost every one know how to
make that mule go.
"Untie his bslly-band," said man
with pug nose.
The bslly-band was make loose.
'Put rope around his neck and
tie him to n street car" said man
who was smoking a cob pipe.
A rope was put around the animals
neck and tied to street car. The
mule moved almost a"block, The
crowd followed. He was united, but
refused to move.
"Tie string to his ears and pull" I"
said man with long red hair.
1t was done. The mule remained
stationary.
"Put some dry sand in his meuth,"
said little man.
Another failure.
The old man began to show signs
of encouragement.
"Tie up one of his front legs" said
staggering fellow.
The leg was tied up. The mule
didn't move, and apparently didn't
miss the leg.
BLOW in his ear" said clerk.
The mule winked his left eye, and
throwing the other ear back, looked
as if he would be blowed before he'd
move.
"Take the harness off and lead him
around the block and then hitch him
up. He'll forget himself and 60"
said an old political schemer.
was done. The information wasn't
worth a cent.
Now the old man began to grow
nervous. Every once in a while some
wise Alexander would yell out, push
on the lines" twist his tail" "pick
him up and carry him." "why don't
you sell him?" "What are oat-fed
horses selling at to-day"
These gentle remarks made the old
man more desperate.
81 can make him Co." said man
whose breath smelled like onions.
He put rope around his body, pass
ed it between his front legs, fastened
under throat and pulled, and pulled
again-in fact he pulled for half an
hour, but in vain. Mr.. Mule didn't
move.
Grub his nose with chalk" said a
street car driver, as he passed.
The old man did so. The mule
threw back his ears, licked the chalk
off, and went to sleep again.
"Tie sailors knot in his upper
lip" said man with green eyes.
1t was done, but to no purpose.
"Place an ice poultice on his fore
head" said a doctor.
Lost.
"Place his two front feet in basin
of hot water" said q crank.
AT last the old man got desperate.
He was beside himself. Trouble,
worry and labor had told on him.
AT last a man came up wearing a
smile, q Roman nose and blue shirt.
81 can make that mule CO." he said.
"You can't nuther," said the old
man.
"Bet you a dollar l can" said the
young man.
Gall right. I'll go you" said the
old man.
The money was put up. The young
man took railroad torpedo and plac-
ed it under the mules tail. Then he
took long stick and punched the
mule in the flank, and, well it was fun
to see the sight. The mule was
thrown off his guard, his tail went
down with a crash, the torpedo ex-
ploded with bang, and away went
that mule like a flash up the street at
rate that would make Jay-Eye-See
blush with humiliation. The old man
looked up the road moment at his
rapidly disappearing outfit, and, turn
ing to the young man said;
"Say mister, have you got another
one of them things ?"
eyes, guess so," said the young
fellow.
"Well here's another dollar. Please
put one under my tail and I'll try and
catch my dodgasted mule."-Pretzels
Weekly.