Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-12-02
MISS DOE LOSES LOWER.
Her Admirer Driven Away by Wicked
Father and n MalevoIent Goat.

Father and n Malevolent Goat.
John Doe and Richard Roe, says the
New York Times, are aliases for two est.
mable gentlemen ofthis city, whose names
are withheld for the sake of their rela-
tiyes. John Doe is a wealthy merchant,
who resides in fashionable part of East
SiXtieth street, near Madison avenue.
He is the progenitOr of q lovely daughter
who has Just reached the charming age oil
% years. Richard Roe is young man OF
% years, whose occupation in life is being
dude. Richard had the felicity a year
ago of meeting Miss Doe at the charity
ball, and since then he has whoshiped
continuously at her shrine.' Miss Doe
has reciprocated his affection in a man.
ner. and all during tue past summer he
turned up regularly at every watering
place she visited, timing his visits so as TO
avoid Mr.. Doe very adrOitly.
For. Mr.. Doe, strange as it may seem,
neither loved nor respected poor Richard,
and be habitually made tun of that guile
less youth to his daughter, and was not
always particular that the object of his
jests should be absent at these times. Mr..
Doe has even been known to be trifle
coarse. For instance, upon one occasion
when he came into the parlor and OBJ
served Mr.. Roe in very tight lavender
L
he warned his daughter not 10 sit down in
her lovers lap for fear she might snap his
legs off. and-it was draw as to whether
Miss Doe or Mr.. Roe blushed the more
violently. Upon another occasion, as
Mr.. Roe was one afternoon gingerly
descending the front steps of Mr.. Does
mansion, and smiling into the window
at Miss Doe, the old gentleman rudely
shouted: Hi! hips so as to attract the
attention of every one in the street.
When Mr.. Roe looked around Mr.. Doe
yelled that there was something sticking
on the back of his coat, and everybody in
referred to the tails of Mr.. ROe's cutaway,
which were visible below his top coat, and
the unfortunate youth was overcome
with confusion at the mirth Of the pOpu-
lace. Upon this occasion Miss Doe tear
fully informed her parent that he was a
horrid old thing, and she would never,
never speak to him again as long as she
lived, and Mr.. Doe laughed himself al
most into an apoplectic fit.
But there was one evening in the week
Richard discovered when he might feel
safe from the gibes of the parent of his
loved one. That was Thursday evening,
when Mr.. Doe invariably remained at his
club until toward midnight. Richard
never failed to take advantage OF the Op-
pOrtunity thus afforded, and many happy
Thursdays has he spent this fall both in
and realization, tor he had
been engaged to Miss Doe since early in
September, though he has never had the
courage TO ask rude old Mr.. Doe for his
daughters hand. Last Thursday evening
Mr.. Roe called as usual in SiXtieth street,
and he remained in the front parl0r until
] 80 p. IN. He was on the point of de-
y q m o n y y
hour when he discovered a goat that had
probably wandered over from ShantytOwn,
loafing in the street below him. Mr.. Roe,
being prudent young man and possess
ing some slight knowledge of natural his
tory, decided 10 remain upon the steps IN
til the animal had passed. The goat OBJ
served him. and Mr.. Roe perceived with
a thrill of horror that it seemed interested
and paused to size him up, as vulgar per
sons would, and Mr. Poe would not say.
The young man backed up into the corner
Of the doorway, and was on the point of
ringing the bell, having determined to re-
enter and pretend be had left something
in the parlOr, in order to avoid collision,
when the goat started. listened TO a foot
fall approaching from the vicinity of Fifth
avenue, and then cantered down to meet
the wayfarer.
NJ. Roe felt relieved until he looked
approaching was none other than MIR.
Doe, and that the goat had marked him
for its own. Mr.. Dye also perceived his
peril. He barely had time to drop his sill
ver-handled umbrella and seize the beast
by the horns as it charged upon him, and
Mr.. Roe observed and trembled. He saw
Mr.. Doe look carefully about him and no
tice that no one was in sight, and then the
old gentleman attempted to back the goat
I'M firm nd
feet, and Mr.. Doe did likewise. Then Nj.
Roe approached timidly, feeling that if he
could only get Mr.. Doe cut of his scrape
be would ask him for his daughters hand
before the old gentleman recovered from
his gratitude.
'Aw," be said to Mr.. Doe, who. very
red in the face, was being gradually
pushed back toward the gutter, ''can I
aw-be of any assistancer'
''Yes- yCu-in-fer - nal-nin- COM
poop" gasped Mr.. Doe, out of breath from
his struggles" ''catch-h0ld-of-
horn there"
Mr.. Roe Valiantly rushed around and
seized the goat by the left horn. Mr.. Doe
let 20 of the beast altogether. and
Mr.. Roe had just sufficient time to seize
the right horn, also to prevent himself
from being thrown over. Then the goat
began to back him down to-
Mr.. Doe for assistance. hr. Doe calmly
arranged his own disordered clothing,
picked up his umbrella,
babe Mr.. Roe hold on tight, assembled his
steps, unlocked the door, and entered his
house.
Then Mr.. ROe's soiree began. The goat
ran him backward to Madison avenue,
and then turned him around and rushed
him up to Fourth. Mr. Roe dared not
scream lest his cries should call forth his
lady love, and he was too proud for that,
and so he only clung to the animals
horns and suffered and was strong. At
O'Clock policeman happened to pass in
that vicinity, and he at ence arrested Mr..
Roe and the goat, and made the unfortu-
nate youth back up to the police station,
still holding the animal by the horns,
while the officer amused himself by str
ring up its ardOr with his club. Here Mr..
Roe was able to explain matters satsfac-
tOrily, and was released. He has not
called at the Doe mansion since, and Miss
Doe wonders yet what caused her father
to roar with laughter long after he had
been in bed on the night she last saw her
lover, and whether the cause of his
laughter had anything to do with Mr..
ROe's sudden cessation of worship at her
shrine.