Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-11-12


FARMER JoHN--"Wall, WALL Edica
tion is great thing, arter all. Here Is
this book that artist chap left here. III
I'd known what it says I'd made my
fortuna years ago, and it amt too late
yet"
Mrs. John-"Is it about painting pic
tures?"
mo; it's about colors. 1t says, Light
blue when contrasted with very dark
blue appears white"
"Why John, cant see what differ
ence that makes. It's NO use to us.
1T aint? Well. You see, I'll double
the sales of my milk in a week"
"How under the canopy can you do
that. Johnf"
"IlI paint our milk wagon very dark
blue"
"PA, what kind of boats do the
Chinese have?"
"Junks, my son"
Just like ours?"
"No, we don't have lunks."
"Then how is it you say our navy
does nothing but junk it2'
There. there, Johuny. don't ask SO
many questions.
RESTAURANT KEEPER - John, what
kind of meat did you order to-day
Steward-"Veal, sir"
"Only veal?"
"Yes, SIR"
Then he sat down and wrote on the
bill of fair: Chicken pot-pie. chicken
salad, Irish stew, roast veal, beef q la
mode. corn beef hash, veal pot-pie'"
"HAvE you weak eyee?" said lady
to an applicant for kitchen position
who wore blue spectacles.
"No ma'am," said the applicant, "but
L scour pots and things so thorough
ly that the glitter of them hurts my
sight,"
"Now." SAID a gentleman to a negro
whom he had Just employed, 81 want
you to come early every morning. i
propose to pay you well and 1 want you
to work." "Want me ter work, yer
say" "Of course L do" "Dat lets
me out den. 1 don't 'ject ter de pay,
an I'd Jes' as soon hire out, but 1 doan
wanter work. Good day, sah."
A YOUNG man who had led a rather
fast life finally got married to wealthy
but rather warm tempered young lady.
After the ceremony was over, his father
in-law said: 81 hope you'll not get
yourself into any more foolish scrapes. "
mo, l guess I'll not get into any more
scrapes. l reckon I'll never get out of
this one.
SAY, pa, did you ever live in a con
servatory?" asked the small boy. "No,
my son. Why do you ask a question
like that?" well, this morning, when
you were talking to old Mrs. Jump
about them coachman elopements [
heard her whisper something to her
husband about your living in a glass
house." Pa now does his own priylns
''MR. SKIPoUT, am l to nave that
brown-stone front on the avenue this
winter"
"My dear wife, how unreasonable
you are. Do you suppos people are
going to deposit money n bank Just 10
gartify your whim for a brown-stone
front o.; the avenue?'
"Weli. why shouldn't they? You
don't gamble or drink or drive fast
horses. or anything like that-what
else have they to deposit their money
for?"
81 WAS sorry to hear of your wife.s
death Jones; when did the sad event
occur?'
Her death occuredslast week"
81 should think you would want
to wear a mourning band around your
hat"
NO." replied Jones. "I'm no hypo-
erite,"
II DO so like Miss Badgers siuging,
don't your" she asked,
81 can't say do, exactly"
"But you must recollect that she al
ways sings without her music"
81 don't doubt it. That's just the
way 1t sounds"
JOHN Smith, who has. returned from
visit to-State says that State is
morally sure to give Q rousing majority
! for. Flu to suit your politics.