Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-05-18
THE NEW REPORTER.
why BiIkins Went Into the Lard Bust

? Neio Orleans Figaro

> &eio Orleans Figaro.
A new reporter is a queer being, and
for brief period he revels in bliss. The
moment he secures a position on daily
paper he thinks that the eyes of the world
rests on him alone, and all that he has to
do is to reach up with one hand and yank
himself upon the pedestal of fame. In
the course of few months, however, he
realizes that he needs both hands, three
or four ladders, and some one to give him
a good boost in order to get there. The
first thing that new reporter does when
he enters a newspaper office is to give
vent to his opinions, and point out to the old
reporters how easy the paper can be I'M
proved. His surroundings are novel, and
in consequence he works like Trojan.
If a corner grocery burns down he pic
lures a scene in two columns which
harroWs the souls of men and makes the
city editor want to kill him in cold blood.
He will speak of the lurid sky, and the
roaring flames licking its angry tongue,
and all that kind of stuff, and when he
sees next morning how the city editor cut
the whole article down to ten or fifteen
lines, he feels sure that the entire staff
are jealous of his thrilling style of writ
ing, and wish to crush him. The city edi-
tor sends him to report meeting, but the
people there Will not admit him, and the
bare idea that they refused to allow him
to be present at the meeting is an insult
which burrows its way down to the roots
Of his huttering soul, and he returns to
the office towering with rage. He flashes
his eyes and pounds the ali with both
fists like an untaimed cavalier, and r0ars
for revenge. He must have it. The press
must not be thrOttled. 1t can not be as
long as he has strength to WELD pen, so
he sits down with the hair on his head
bulged out like the tail Of an angry cat
and commences his fierce attack. He
writes up the Barrel-makers' Union as a
mere wart upon the body politics. He
scOlds everything connected with barrels
and their makers. He uproots the bar
rel system, pitches into the law, tears up
the constitution, flaps his cOat-tails in the
face of the President, wipes his boots on
the capitol and points with pride and
satisfaction to Benjamin Franklin and the
flag. No, the press, the great guardian of
the liberties of the people can and will
not be suppressed. When pale with in
dignatiOn, and reeking with perspiration,
he presents his article to the city editor,
that worthy functionary sees fifteen libel
suits in it, and he merely swears around
the office until the lights go out, and
they have to put more water in the gas
meter.
An old reporter, however, never dreams
of acting in such way. If he is detailed
to report the meeting of the Barrel
makers Union, and they refuse to let him
in, he thanks the Barrel-makers' from the
bottom of his heart. The refusal lets him
out of that much work, so he lOafs the
evening away at the theatre, and looks at
the pretty girls in the dress circle, and
wonders if there will ever be one for
him. The dear, sweet, delightful things.
We recOllect when Bilkins first went to
work on the Post that he had a craving to
plunge right into the middle of literature
and make fortune in two weeks. One
day he carried poem to the city editor,
who was an old journalist with a bald
head, three children, skinny wife, and a
disposition so sour that it would shriyel a
crab apple. The city editor read the
poem about a little child gathering flow
ers by babbling brook, and then turned
to Bilkins and said 81 see that you
must have mental recreation. You have
not been connected more than a week
with the paper but the strain on you has
been so great that it has daZed your mind.
\ ou need rest. 60 up in the country and
shoot jay-birds for a week, and you will
feel SETTER" Bilkins resigned his position
on the paper the next day, and is now in
the lard business.