Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-11-22
SATURDAY Smiles.

Clerical Error" DR.. Burchard
If you would be wealthy. get upon a mule.
You will soon find you are better Off Watson S
Iu,uaindt0r.
1t is asserted that ST. John never has any,
thing stronger than water on his table He
evidently doesn't use western butter.-IOlaterS
Statesman
One of the latest recipes: If you step on a
dudes boot you are likely to make CATS foot
jelly.-Sdn Francisco Post.
A pink of propriety: Ethel-"Oh, mamma,
I've got such pain" Mother-.Wherc de-
Ethel Ga refined child)-"In my sash. mamma :"
London Judy.
Khart um must be practising on roller skates.
We hear that it has fallen again.-Aorristo,cn
Herald
The average size of the American family is
sol The decimal probably represents the dude
but the statisticians have got it rather large
Boston Transcript.
II think" unused Gail Hamilton, who is said
to be working pair of slippers for DR.. Bur-
chard, 81 think that Samson's feat of Staying
thousand people with the jaw-bone of an ass is
totally eclipsed. "-Brooktya Eagle.
"These firemen must be frivolous SET" said
Mr.. Spillkins, who was reading paper. "Why
SOP" Il read in the paper that after
the fire was under control, the firemen played
home and go to bed like sensible men, instead
of romping about like children" Texas Sift-
ings.
''Please give me something to eat I've not
had warm mouthful in week"
Here, my good man, is plate Of nice hot
soup tor yOn." replied the cook.
'Hot soup!" he howled. Haven't you got
anything else? This makes the fifth plate of
hot soup I've had in the last hour. 1t is not
healthy to put SO much soup on an empty
stomach. "-Ne,o York Star.
"All work and no play makes Jack dull
hnx 10 rha% I, la
who refused to take him to the theater- Io7s-
hers Statesman. ...-
Indignant tourist to the hotel manager who
has just presented his bill: "See here. You have
charged me fifty confines for writing paper
and you know very well that you have not fur
nished me scrap." But. Monsieur, it is for
the paper on which yoursbill is made out Chi
cago Daily Hotel Reporter.
you've got my seat. SIR" said man on a
Texas railroad, who had left his seat for mo-
ment There is nothing to show that you have
retained this seat" Look up there There is
my hat box on the rack right over this seat"
"Well. then you sit up there on your hat box
If that's where you have retained your seat -
Texas Sittiags.
The rooster has one advantage over the tlr-
key-he may go through the racket and still
live, while the turkeys doom is sealed.-C Gin
Clrlndh Tinles-St0r.
Belva Lockwood is a member Of the Washing
WI otAi. II 10 sttiu tudb OppOSiuS got
over difficulty by abiding to her as ''Our
sisEer-in law."-Augustd (Gd.) Chronicle.
How the Brazilian Eats Oranges.
Rio Letter to Pittsburg Telegraph
The differentiation of development asserts
Itself even In devouring oranges In the region
of the Rio Amazonas it is one .way. and in the
region of the Rio Query it is another. Here the
eater begins by transfxing with fork the
vegetable globe in the neighborhood of the
south pole. Then, with sharp case knife( (Which
is not cheese knife, as might be inferred by
the etymologisD he makes through the rind
circular cut, which may be likened to the ant
arctic circle. Next he slices off the whole OF
the arctic zone. Then, cutting from north to
south. he slices of the rind In meridians from
one polar circle to the other. The rind thus
having been removed, and the luscious sphere
being still transfixed and held in his left hand
before him, the eater, with the knife in the
right slices off the tropical regionsa and puts the
pieces In his mouth On the fiat side or pierced
with the'point of the cutting instrument In
which operation a sixth of the substance of the
fruit is wasted in removing the rind and another
sixth In cutting away the core; but with the
best of oranges by retail at less than cent
apiece no matter
-yrN<~x 4l~t~-