The Hazlehurst signal., 1884-02-07
HUMOROUS.

my Lord" said Tawmus, "yon've
no idea what horror II gives n man D
steal up behind a girl who is scribbling.
look over her shoulder and find that
she's idly writing your name. with q
Mrs prciixc,l. Boston Post
"A Bumpers" What's phrcnol-
ogy. map bumps on the head, my
dear" WAS pa chronological when
Inc came home the other morning and
You were putting vinegar and brown
paper on his head, maP"-fm. ''
As two ladies were gazing at the
larco black bear brought into town
Yesterday. one remarked: "Oh, what
a nice buaalo-robc his skin would
malen' The other replied: "Or such
splendid sealskin sacquc. Oh Guy
Derrick.
"A Terrible Infant
rccollcct q nurse called Ann.
Who carrie me about the grass
And one fine day a nnc young man
Came mp and kissed the pretty lass
She did not make the least objection!
Thinks 1: "Aha!
when can talk III tell mammal
Aud that's my earliest recollection.
Irish gentleman (paying debt OF
honor): "Thcre's the sovereign yc
kindly lint me. Brown. I'm sorry
haven't been able''-,Saxon (pOckcting
the coin): "Neycr thought Of II from
that day to this. Forgot sll about It,"
Irish gentleman: "Bedad! l wish ye'd
tould me that bcforc"'
"A confirmed old bachelor was out
ut a social gathering the other evening.
where he was so unfortunate as to be-
come seated behind a party Of vivacious
young ladies. Conversation turned
upon athletic subjects, when ono pert
young miss inquired: "Mr Brown, what
Is your favorite exercised" "Oh, i
have no preferences; but just at present
I should prefer dumb bellies" was his
rather curt rcply.-Caicdgo Times.
-"This introduction gives me great
pleasure, believe me-" frankly ex-
claimed Brown. when introduced to a
popular society actress. 'Really. you
latter me. Mr.. Brown" "Not at all. i
have worshipcd you from n distance
for over twenty years and Brown
is still engaged racking his brain trying
to lind out why the actress cut him
short, and has since declined 10 recog-
nizo him when they accidentally met
Boston Globe.
A colored individual who went
down on the slippery flags at the corner
of Woodward avenue and Congress
street scrambled up and backed out
into the street and took long. look
toward the roof of tho nearest build
inc. "You fell from the third-story
window" rcmarked.a pedestrian who
had witnessed the tumble. BOSS. /
believes yer." was the prompt reply;
"but what pazzles me am do queshun
of how got UP dar' an why was
leanin' outer de winder. Detroit Free
Press. . '-..
According TO the testimony Of the
witnesses you were caught just as you
were getting out of the window, with
the contents OF the till in your pockets.
Now, what excuse have ysu gotp" and
the magistrate leaned back In his chair
very complaccntly. 81 know IL, your
honor, and shall always be grateful to
tho man who caught me. When havo
these somnambulistic fits am In dam
ger of falling out Of windows and hurt
ing myself." THAT idea never occurred
10 me-" remarked the magistrate, pen.
siyely. "lt has often occurred to me-"
remarked the prisoner. with uncon-
scious humor. THAT being the case, !
will direct the Governor" 10 turn
me loose7,' "No. but to have an extra
bar across your cell window, for fear
you may fall out Chicago Herald. . Z