Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-04-11

p. T. Barnum, the veteran Snowman,
has made, executed, sealed and delivered
to . proper custodian his last will and
testament. which il a document Of 700
pages of closely written legal cap paper.
Before signing the paper he had seven
eminent physicians examine him and
pronounce him sane, 50 the question Of
sanity cannot be raised when the will is
offered for probate.
Barnum is a shrewd old fellow to take
these precautions: but If the lawyers
who wrote that will cannot, in 200 pages
OF legal cap paper, ring in enough incop-
sistenciee and technical incougruities 70
knock it higher than kite, they are a
disgrace to their profession. The num-
Der of "saids,' ''aforesaids" and ''there-
fores" in this immense beQuest of over
flO.U0,0u0is said TO be simply appalling.
The will il represented as being worded
as follows:
Being warned by my lawyers that
will end my life by death. and being
Informed by the most eminent physi
clans Of Connecticut that am of sound
mind and lively disposition, and being
assured by my bankers that l have a
little balance of $4,000. $50 in their
several institutions, and being further
declared duly sober by my aforesaid
phy sicIans, VITO are unanimous ia the
opinion that a life of teet0tal abstin-
ence renders it impossible that should
now be drunk. and being informed that
| have some relatives and numerous
friends abroad in the land, who would
like to enjoy q million dollars or so of
my accumulated wealth, and being im-
pressed with the idea that am a very
generous man, by the assertions of my
many relatives and friends in that O.
ualf, hereby, in consideration of the
premises aforesaid and the warning voice
of my said lawyers aforesaid, and the
Information of the said physicians afore-
said, and the assurance Of my said bank
ers aforesaid. determined upon this, my
last will and newest and latest revised
testament, to wit, as follows, that is to
say. namely:
Here several unimportant requests of
a million dollars Zach are made, but We
omit them on account of their trivial
character.
- give and bequeath to Rutherford
b. Hayes my temperance pledge and
the good example l have set for the
community, provided always, and this
bequest is made upon this conditions:
that the said Rutherford aforesaid
shall not again interfere with Sammy
Iiiden in the possession of his prop
erty.
MY good name l bestow upon the
members of my family, with this limit
alton only: 1t shall never be allowed to
be applied to any but the legitimate of
spring of my people. l have kept it
clean, and l mean that others shall do
likewise, in default of which the recipi-
ents of this bequest shall forever be
debarred from any and all profit to be
derived from my cORnomenous appel
latiOn.
MY elephants / give and bequeath
to Jay Gould, he being the only man in
America who is able to buy food for
them, except Vanderbilt, who may have
Jumbo if he buys feather bed for him
and otherwise Keats him kindly. Kind
hess has been one of my rules of action,
and Jumbo would feel very badly to be
treated otherwise.
MY Bible give to Eli Perkins, he to
read the commandments every morning
before breakfast.
my dodo is hereby given to Oscar
Wilde.
my she lion 1 give to Frank James,
with the fond hope that she may ad-
minister to him long delayed punish
ment.
My goat l commend to the tender
care of George W. Peck, of Milwaukee,
on condition that his bad boy be forbid
den to pepper its beard.
my sacred bull to Rev. Z. Dewitt
Talmage, with instructions to let it
bump Bob lngersoll frequently and per-
sistentlv.
ITO the Ratchet. of Washington city,
| give my reputation for truth and We
racity, hoping that it will be much ben
Gifted thereby.
TO the Arkansdr Trareier bequeath
all my native Zulus and other dialectic
creatures,tO give Opie p Read moro room
to spread out on things as they are on
the funny side of creation"