Delaware gazette and state journal., 1884-05-22
HERE AND THERE,

'bN.
Now is the time, young man, when You
hould 60 into your drug store and let
he druggist know what plain soda means.
Boston Rst.
A reporter at Plttsburg turns ont to be
/ leader OF robbers. It's good reporter
who can furnish the raw material for his
own work.-LouispiRe Courier journal.
Two colored men in Florida publish a
newspaper and manufacture cofius in the
same shop. 1t must be professional
funny paper-something after the style |
of London Punch -LopeN Citizen.
The latest novel bears the title of "The
Man She Cared For" 1t takes ovsr 200 |
pages TO explain that 1t wasn't her hus-
husband.-BWiin9ion Fee fress.
Young man, when you can see an old |
maid adjusting her speotaoes and clip
ping out that part Of paper headed
Sealed Proposals." it is time for you to
take to the woods.-Httsbtrg Chronicle.
A man on the ferry boat running be.
tween New York City and Staten Island,
jumped over board few days ago as the
boat approached the island. He probably
preferred to drown rather than visit
Staten Island.-Boston Post.
You may talk of your dainty daisies,
That make your heart pit.a-pat,
You may gleefully sing sweet praises,
OF the maids both lean and fat
But of all the lassies on land or sea,
The jolliest, giddiest girl fer me
Is the CIR. with the "haystack hat.
~ Y. Journal.
Carlisle, Pa, Is greatly disturbed over
the disappearance Of IL year old boy
but as he went on an errand to store
quarter Of a mile awsy, and has been
gone only eight days, it isn't time for
him to get bsck.-Denvsr Tribune.
81 caught GOLD somewhere yester-
day." she remarked. Probably 1t WAS
in your head" he said, and he woke
three times that night to laugh over It
and congratulate himself on his success
as a punster.-Eusning Bulletin.
"a new insect has attacked the peach
crop in the neighborhood of lone, oil. 1t
attacks the young peach, tearing It from
the branch" So says an exchange. It's
the first time We ever heard a small boy
called new insect. He ia on deck
rather early this year, too.-Riek.
recent scientific theory is to the
effect that 1t is possible under certain
conditions to hear color. We are very
glad to know this, because when we are
walking around at night when 1t ia dark,
| and we have new clothes on, 1t will be
crafty ing to hear the green paint that
has Just been put on our enslaver's front
stoop.-Rick.
The Rev. Mrs. l.. g.. Lomiok, the
evangelist, WAS the officiating clergy
woman at a wedding in Columbus, Ohio,
last week. 'Tis we'll. II women can tie
the matrimonial knot as firmly and gor-
dianioslly as she can tie the immov BILE
knot in boys necktie never thought
Of divorce will follow the marriage
service which she Performs Burlington
Hawkeye.
Among the blessings enumerated undei
the head OF "Forty Years Ago" is this
"Cofins were very plain and funerals
much cheaper" 1t is easy to estimate
how much mouey man might have
saved by dying 40 years ago but h,
never dreamed that the price Of funerals
would become 30 outrageously high tha
1t is now cheaper to live than to die
NorristoUn Herald.
, II. R. Haweis has Just printed bi
"Susical Memoirs" but we don't sup
} pose the book contains such a reminiJ
/ oelce as "The moon peeped from bs
T hind the clouds, and | saw her peerles
, face as she leaned languidly on tn
J wiDdow-sill. Then l gave my guitar
. few preliminary thrums, opened m
, mouth, and was knocked down head .drs
t among the tiger lilies by brick hurle
4 from higher window" ."-Fuck.
n | fal mn
He 10 A printer. He is Smoking Blac
old Pipe. 1t is Friday Night. He wi
d Tell you He Rather prefers Pipe, an
Always smokes one When he can, /
s preference To the best Cigar. 1t ia No
u Saturday Evening. Look Again at tn
Printer. What is that in His mouth
He is Smoking it. 1t ia A cigar. He ha
Been paid of since We first Saw him, m
Child. Now, then, you See how Dlfe
e ence in tastes May be accounted For.
/, Lo,geH Citizen.
. A Pittsburg man left his wife bscsut
% she would not pour out his coffee an
refused to permit him to enter the houi
J. by the font door. No doubt he miql
- have overlooked the first offence, but
. is mighty rough to compel man to I
d round the back way and climb over Il
b fence or crawl in a second story windo
when he comes home at night in such a
10 enfeebled aud weary condition that it
ia as much as he can do to enter froi
Ia door that ia standing wide open-at IL
8; first trial-Nornstopn Herald.
?, $50 you are trying to ascertain what
l, pine needle is, eh That's right; whel
z ever you are cropping in the devious patl
al
d We will try to clear up the myster-
70 Some people are afraid to ask question
for fear Of exposing their ignorance by
'p doing. But y"u, gentle Florence, CON
80 out with sweet, sophomoric grace an
8, ask What is pine needle aud v
1t Ieply with great pleasure One OF thoi
% sticks which butchers thrust through be
y and which are vulgarly terme
to "skewers. .''-Rlck.
Or Two Colonies Of Ants had lived nei
SO each other for long time witho,
Ds Trouble OF any sort, but at Length Som,
lg thing Happened to set them by the ear
Neither party would give in that it W,
le Wrong, and one Colony fiually engage
ID the services Of an Elephant to tramp
10 down and Destroy the Houses OF ii
ss other. The Elephant began Slsshir
ar Around According to Agreement, but
d, his Vigor he Trampled Both Colonl
8, into the Dust. Morsl-When you hire
ID man to Poison your Neighbours Cat 8,
le that your own Dog is Tied Up.-Dstrc
ia Free Press.
D. Yesterday attt rnoon an officer patro
OF ing dris~od street observed a strsng
ID closely scanning the various buildings :,
II measuring their dimensions with b
a. eye, and finally inquired II he was loo
ie ing f@r any particular number. "I'
O. alo1king for bank" WAS the repl
le well, there's half a dozen on Ii
e. street !" "Yes, see, but ! amt qui
III satisfied. I'vs tur""d ovsr rev lef
I'd and am ,iDg to star baLk accoun
" Her q ~ I'm going to put in as d ne
G egg well, suess 1t will be safe vii
le any of them" "Mshbe 80, hut l.
n kinder mixed, II bank with a fou
r. story building like enough Cyclone wi
to come along and shave of about ~
70 stories, II hank with auy of the tw
story iall.rs mebbe they III rent the upp
Ar II ,or to somebody who'll dig down in
"a the vsu!ts and gobble my cash." Tt
Of oihetr left him in q state OF doubt, b,
"a t"o hours later tound him in the alley
or rear of the post office happy drum
"a Have you .ot over your doubt ?" ssks
in the hluecoat, as he kindly oollared hir
II, "Whsz you mean f'' "Why, about Il
In banks" Yez, zur-yez, sur, stead
la taking four or two STORY bank | SD
m the difference and left all money in thre
or story saloon Whoopl Turned over
4d new leai and going to start 'er bank m