davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
Playing With 4 Greenhorn.

At the Michigan Central depot the
other day three or four citizens who
happened to be waiting for the same
train to come in got to talking about
confidence men and their victims, and
one of them pointed out particularly
verdant specimen of young -man-from-
the country, and said:
THAT fellow would he ripe subject
for the fraternity. The chances are
that he could be bamboozled as easy IS
rolling off a log"
81 Dunno" replied another. ''SuD-
pose YOU work on him 3 little rs an ex-
pertinent. Here is check which l
will fill out, and I'll come in ut the
right time as your pal
The idea was entered into, and in a
few minutes No. l put himself in the
way of the greenhorn and made some
INQUIRIES about the trains and ascer-
tanned that the stranger was going to
Michigan City.
$50? Why, I'm going right there
myself. own big saw-mill there.
"Yew dew, w,eh?"
"Yes, and I'm here looking for
foreman. have boss place for man
at sixty dollars a month.
That's me to a huckleberry. I've
worked in saw-milIs all my life
You can have the place, and I'm
glad to get hold of such man. Con-
slider yourself engaged for year at
sixty dollars per month.
"Snakes and tom cats, but amt that
luck." chuckled greeny. stranger,
you must be an awful good man"
"Well, run Sunday-school and
try to live an upright life. Maybe you
want a months salary in advance??'
"Woogh. yew don't say so! No. |
guess can git along, being As have
forty-iive dollars in my wallet
At this moment the pal came up with
the usual bill, which must be paid at
once or the new saws for the mill would
not be shipped No. / had only three
or four dollars in bills, but offered a
check for $500. Following out the
usual programme greenhorn was asked
to hand over his forty-five dollars and
take the check rs security. The words
were hardly off the man lips when
greenv spit on both hands at once, shot
ont with his right and left in chorus,
and there was a thump! thump! which
knocked two men tiatter than pam
cakes.
Softly. gentlemen-softly F" COM
manded greeny as half a dozen men
rushed up. Il look like a last years
pumpkin saved over in the basement OF
canning factory, but after travelling
With circus for the last eleven years
ought to know buckwheat from spripe
goslings. Pick 'em up and sponge oil
the blood aud turn 'em loose. They, II
feel tired all the rest of the day.-De-
| troH Free Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
sS'laimed the Honor. !"

"W'y, we're old friends!' said
gray-haired old man to little fellow
whom he had just met for the first
time. Il dom t remember you. Don't
We, wy, sold a horse to your gram
'ther sixty year ago." Something like
this is reported to have happened to
Madame Modieska in San Francisco
during her first visit to this country.
IL am made SO pleased, said the
madame, who had not then mastered
our idiom, "by the many old friends !
haf here"
..Old friends here?" l asked.
"Yes. Only this day card is sent
to nv apartment. The name is Polish
one. l say the gentleman may present
himself. Well, he did; and he say to
me, Madame, am delighted to salute
you, for claim the honor of an old ac-
quaintance.'
".With mee' say. But one is so
stupid, for l cannot recall where hat
meet you.
NO, madame, he say, not so great
an honor as that; but my father. forty
years ago, he make the brick OF which
your father build his house in War
saw.
After . pause, Modjeska added to me,
with her charming noirette; 1T ID
pleasant. is it not? But forty years il
50 long for one to remember who is not
ret forty. .''-Saa Franciseo calt,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
An Arkansas Divorce Case.

Several days ago 4 young negro and
his wife appeared before Simon Patter-
son. a black knight of the rural Arkan-
saw bench, and demanded divorce.
whats the trouble twixt yer?"
asked old Simon.
81 kain't lib wild her an she KANT
lib wild me- replied the husband.
"Why kain't yer9'
"Cause she amt eddycated up tel
my standpoint.
Use better eddycated den he is.
Jedge. case ken read and he KANT, ;,
said the woman.
20, she mout hab more book-larnin'
den has, boss, but her knowledge aim
de kline what suits de undersigned.
She ken spell cat an dog, but she
KANT spell billed cabbage to suit me.
Ebery time I comes ter de house,
finds dis o man han'lin' her book, but
doesn't smell nuthin' bilin in de pot. =
.Ef yer wuster fetch suthin in de
house, yer woul' smell hit bilin' in dc
pos." rejoined the wife.
80, dat aim t my lookout. De 'oman's
duty, ez un'erstans de case, is ter fur
nish suthin' ter eat. OATS whut
married yer fur. KANT 'speck me tel
keep up de repertation o de family an
hussle for bread. l longs ter de-
s'ciety."
MADAM" said the Justice, "de case
is ergin yer. De Bible says dat 81
oman mus mind what her husban
says. Eff he tole yer ter put su.hin in
de pot, an yer didn't do hit. why der
yer's laid yerself liable. MIR. Clerk
write out er 'vorce fur dis gennerman
but doan' gin one ter de lady. .'-1era'
| Sittinqs.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
COVINGTON ST. TAMMANY PARISH, La. AUGUST 3d. 1884,

encouraged no lettering by the way
this time, and before sunset of Friday
was meditating over the oats in her own
stable.
1--WE gained ten pounds. I do be-
lieve," Kate heard her father telling a
neighbor. land feel like new man. J"
Il don't believe l have enjoyed get
ting up in the morning and going into
my kitchen in five years BEFORE Mrs
Morgan said, .the next morning as she
moulded her bread into loaves. ..How
much good little change does do one.
and have got such help, too, on my
rag carpet from Aunt Martha-ten balls
all cut and sewed. Well, Kate, you
have given us all pleasure enough to
satisfy any daughter
And Kate was more than satisfied,
even when she wore a plain cashmere
for best, all winter.
"You went away, after all" her
friend Louise said. with smile.
"Yes, after had taken your advice
and looked over mother and father,
too, and counted them both as my best
blessings. ."-HoWe Bennin9. in Chicago
ddcdnce.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
~ MEAN TO WAIT FOR JACK

LESSON FOR LOVERS.
Sweet Kate at Wyndham's Dairy, and Jack of
Oldham Mill
o, long they wood and fond they Good, a
faithful Jack and Jill,
But times were bad for lass and lad. and sadly
both confessed
Twas not the thing to buy the ring before
they'd lined the nest.
"COnrage, lad. said Katie. "Yes Wen have
to wait:
But though. my dear, it's twenty year, I'll
take no other mate"
But England wanted Jacky, for war was in
the air,
And arms more grim were press'd on him
than katie's bonny pair.
so all through Spain. in rough campaign, he
chivied bold Mossoo
And fired his gun and made him run like fun
at Waterloo.
When the lads came round her, Katie bade
them pack;
There's girls enough for you to WOO; II mean
to wait for Jack"
The gray in Katies ringlets were mingline
with the brown,
when bump-a-thump, an eager stump came
peggng through the town.
ITS me, you see come back, says he, lex
cept a leg or SO;
And safe and sound here's twenty pound: sc
let the parson know.
Jingle, jangle, jingle. set the bells a-chime,
And health and bliss to love like this thai
bravely bides its time.
Good Words.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The Gospel is preached in each OF
the forty provinces of China.
An academy to teach the Aztnc
language has been started in the City
of Mexico.
The Catholic Bishop of Albany has
issued an order that the church picnic
in his diocese shall give up the reyelry
and the pecuniary profit of liquor sales,
including lager beer. The church will
not have any such revenue, he says
albany IN. ~ journal.
The number of scholars enrolled in
the SGnday-schools in this country is
estimated at 100000. one-third OF
whom are adults, being 6,OO0.oao
children. 1t is estimated that in pop
ulation of 81 ZOO. 900, at least Il, ,00o,oo0
are children. This leaves 6.O0O.0o0
children who have no Sunday-School
connection.-Chicago Times
A Chicago schoolmaster is teach
ing type writing to the volunteer pupils
of his two upper classes and claims
that the experiment is successful. Two
hours a week are devoted to the type
writer by each member of a class of
twenty Chicago Herald.
Twelve out of thirteen theological
seminaries of the Presbyterian Church
reported to the general assembly at
Saratoga Springs; 55 professors, ! other
teachers. SIC students, 223 new stu
dents, $50 graduates, % post-graduateS.
In the libraries there are 123, 9p6 vol
umes, of which 11,O55 have been re-
Gently added. The total value of real
estate is 81, l,7Ol, ,431; endowments, 81
271,O14; scholarship funds, S252.91S;
general funds, S220.917: income, $685.
579; and expenses, $342,5H.- Troy
Times.
The Salvation Army has found an
opponent in new religious sect called
.the Hallelujah Lassies. The title IS
not dignified, but the aim is modest.
The leading spirit is known as Happy
Josephine" She takes the chair at the
meetings and explains what she and
the other lassies mean to do. They are
opponents of no creed or church, but
poise as humble preachers of the gos-
pei to the poor, the chief object being
to get these same poor to attach them
selves to some church, leaving them to
choose which they prefer.-N r SH".
The Protestant Episcopal Conven-
ton of South Carolina has decidedu upon
an aggressive policy with respect TO
work among the colored people of that
State. An executive committee has
been appointed to act with the Bishop
in all matters pertaining to this work,
such as the establishment of missions
and schools, the seeking out of suitable
men to be candidates for the ministry.
and making provision for their mainte-
nance during candidateship, etc. A
liberal support was pledged for carry
| ing out these measures.-Phttaietphtd
| Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

-Bjorkstein, the TENOR, will Pjara-.
I'VE this cjountry next sjeason. Bjorge!
" ]. Graphic.
1t is noted as an interesting fact
that the wages of sin have not been cut
down to any perceptible extent.
The King of Portugal wants to start
newspaper. Not satisfied with the
fame of ROYALTY he longs for wealth
Philadelphia Cal.
-Dar's difference 'twixt truth an
honestness, fur man is sometimes so
truthful dat when he steals he doan deny
de fack.-drkansdU TraUeier.
A woman attempted to throw her
child in front of locomotive at Frank
fort, KY. but was thwarted by col
ored man, who saved the life OF the
babe at the risk of his own.-Chicaao
Herald.
Medical Note: "Hard workers out
of doors seldom have insomnia ac-
cordino to an eminent physician. Posi-
blv because they work hard and get
tired and sleepy But we are not an em-
inent physician and may be wrong
PHILADELPHIA Call.
A gentleman who ordered shad at
the hotel waited long enough to destroy
patience as virtue. Finally, calling
to him the head waiter, he asked: "Do
YOUR shad come from the Hudson or the
| Delaware?" "I'm sure don't know"
| saifi the head waiter, 'but I'll ask the
steward, if YOU would like to know
..Do,' said the gentleman. ''for want
to find out where my waiter has gone
fishing."-N J. Graphic.
As they were standing at the gate
in the full moonlight, Adolphus asked
her if she knew that ice cream brought
on freckles. .Yes. darling" she an
swered, rs she raised her violet ewes to
meet his" but don't think there's any
danger in nv case as long as you are
with me- And as Adolphus strobe
homeward under the same pale, melan-
choly moonlight, he wondered if all
women were the same.-Boston Post
do you know. Miss Smithers.
remarked young Featherly, THAT there
| is something very peculiar about your
fathero'' s.Something very peculiar
about my papa?" repeated Miss Smith
ers, who loved Featherly passionately,
but purely. .sYes, that young man went
on. ..yery peculiar" :.And what is it.
prayof ut lies in tie fact that although
he IS not grandfather. he has grand
daughter. ."-Drake's Trareler's Ma3a-
zine.
A Young man who had been follow
ing lady through Thirty-seyenth
Street drew alongside her at Fifth
Avenue. lifted his hat and observed;
Haven't I met you somewhere be-
fore?" "Once, I think, " answered the
lady. II knew it," said the young man.
with q self satisfied smile; land you We
been in my thoughts ever since" 81
thought you had not noticed me par
ticularly," said tho lady. Il met yor
two weeks ago at your wedding. YOU
wife ID my cousin. ."--Rtn Yors Sna'
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23
Didn't Want to Die There

One day during the noted Kentucky
campaign, and while the Confederate
army was passing through Allen
County, General Breckenridge. ap-
proaching General Hindman. said:
I'VE are only short distance now
from Bear Waller and are not very far
from Jimtown."
The solemnity of his manner attracted
Hindman's serious attention, and, re-
garding Breckenridge with a long look
of inquiry, he asked:
..But, General, why does our near.
ness to those places so concern you?'
well. you see," Breckenridge re-
Piled. 81 fear it will be my fate to be
killed in an action at Jimtown or Bear
Waller. Bear Waller" he repeated.
..The thought Of being killed At place
bearing such . name makes me siek, y
--drkdnsam Ir0peler.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23

Mrs. Minerva Judge, of New York,
has instituted Cash Girls Home. :"
A cash girl-provided she has plenty
of i.-should have no difficulty in find.
ing q man to give her home.-Norris-
tcaUn Herald.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-08-23

-Self-made men are often good
deal like homemade furniture-strpng
spd relisble. bur lacking polish.
, 1884-08-28
~MAVERICks.
Unbranded News Notes Picked Up
About the City.

The Union Mercantile Company yes
terday sent out a supply ofranch groceries
10 the Suffolk Company.
The next attraction at the Opera
House will be on September -, when the
Nellie Boyd Company VIII appear
Miss Fife Ellsler will reopen the Opera
House season at Salt Lake City this even
ing. La Belle Russo will be presented.
Mr. Charles Mcdaryey has purchased
lots and ., in block 332, at the corner Of
NcNeal aud Nineteenth streets. He will
build three Nee cottages on the grounds.
The highest temperature yesterday was
$50: lowest, SO mean temperature, IS
per cent; mean humidity. 81 per cent;
highest velocity of wind. * miles per
hour.
A large and novel scraper made by II.
Haas, was yesterday sent to q ranch ofthe
Frontier Land and Cattle Company, south
of Laramie City. The scrapcr will be used
in c~xcavating bitches.
A portion of the reserve stock of the
Warren Mercantile Company is being ar
ranged in the second story of the east
wing Of the new emporium. Goods will
be displayed in the east wing until the
main building is finished, when the wing
will be used for warehouse purposes. The
stock will be the largest one of its class
west of st Louis, and rare and costly
good sare daily being received.
, 1884-08-28


"Say, Moses" said a customer to a retail
clothier, what is this story hear about
your
"Vot sthory ish dot sthory;'
why, Il friend of mine said you made a
mistake the other day and sold him a $40
coat for So
"How ish dotF
Il don't know, He said he saw the figures
ON the ticket, and that your boy sold it to
him.
"Vell, veil, vot a schmart poy dot Chonnie
ish, Yoost like his fodder. l tole dot boy he
coot hat all vot he make ofer two tollar
apiece on u hob lot Off last chear's goats,
mt dot ish der way he peats his ole fodder
unit fixes der trade. He marks dose goats up
unit den yoost like Il innochent leedle sheep,
he don't see der price, und der gushtomer
drinks vot a schmart weller he ish TO beat a
poor leedle boy in der sthore. Dot Chonnie
viii COON oud on der high side off der pile
unit be u CREDIT to his fodder
, 1884-08-28
A New summer monster.

TT07TTT LTTT-T-T
The innocent and unsuspecting summer
tourist cannot be too cautious or too mucho on
his guard this summer against an insidious.
yet attractive, foe. This foe is the material
hunter" Let the unwary youth beware with
what maiden he goes rocking at Mount
Desert. Ten TO one she is not flirting with
him in the old orthodox fashion ut all, hut is.
instead. studying his peculiarities with IA view
to making him eligible as the hero Of her
next novel to be issued in November. The
maiden wh1 receives attention shauld we'll
be on her guard, or she may view herself MS
in a mirror In some confessions cfa frivolous
girl, or recognize portions Of her character
u sort Of disjecta meInara, as 1t were-urewn
all along the line of next years society
novels
, 1884-08-28
AN R x DUEL.
Gen. H%ouston's Order-A Fight with
ssDear, smith.

AAAANA
ALEXANDER Hynds in The Century,
About two years after the Texas revolu-
ton Gen Houston had his first difficulty with
the people. Under the constitution the capt
tai had been fixed at Austin, hut power wa
given to the president to order the temporary
removal Of the archives in case of danger.
The Comanehes were committing ravage;
within sight Of Austin, and Gen. Houston or
dersi the state records to-be forwarded To
him at Washington Texas. This caused
much excitement IN Austin, and 400 men
placed themselves about the state house u
prevent the removal Col. Morton, II lead
ing spirit OF the revolution, was at their
head, and wrote to Gen. Houston, who we'll
knew hi. .aacter as n fighting man, that.
II the l~rlA.ve5 were removed, he Morton
would hunt him down like a wolf.
Gen. Houston replied in a note Of eharac-
teristic brevity; "If the people of Austin do
not send them, l shall come and get them
and if Col Morton can kill me, he is welcome
TO my ear-cap.' The guard was ut once
doubled, patrolmen were placed On the roads
and "A select committee went into permanent
ession in the city hall. During a sitting o.
that body, one who was unannouhced sud
ienly stood in their midst, having gained 81
trance by means Of a tall live oak which
grew against the window; his CARL and
Mtit lIOot . Il hunter anu OlllZ
spoken to by Col. Morton, he placed his fin
gers on his lips and ! manned silent Col Nor
ton flew into a rage and seized him, when the
stranger drew his bowie-knife Mt the same
instant that Mortonis frieds held him back.
Another member of the body spoke to the
stranger, saying that the meeting was a pri
vate one, and that he presumed the gentle
mnn had mistaken the house. At this he
walked to the table and wrote one line, Il
am deaf Judge Webb then wrote, -Tel Us
your business" when a letter was handed
him, addressed TO the citizens Of Austin,
which the judge read aloud, as follows; "Fel-
low citizens: Though in error, and deceived
10y the arts of traitors, l will give you three
days more to decide whether or not you will
forward to me the archives. At the end Of
that time you will please let me know your
decision. Sam Houston
The deaf man waited a few moments Tor u
reply, and was about to leave, when Col
Morton handed him a note saying: "You
were brave enough to insult me; are you
brave enough to give me satisfaction" The
mute wrote, II am at your service ands
after fixing terms, he left by the window.
Morton was told he would be killed, US he
was 10 fight Deaf Smith, who never missed
his man; but he could not be shaken in his
resolve. The weapons used We're rifles, the
distance was u hundred PAGES, and the time
sunset. A vast crowd saw the duel. Both
men fired at the same instant; Morton sprang
into tho air and fell dead, a ball in his heart.
Deaf Smith quietly reloaded his rife and
walked into the forest. Three days after
ward he came with Gen. Houston and ten
others to Austin, and the archives were re
moved without further opposition.
, 1884-08-28

A New York theatre ticket agent says in
The Times: People do not appear to know
that a reserved seat ticket not used on the
night OF its date is good for an admission on
any other night. theatrical managers are
not in the habit Of advertising this fact In
deed, 1 am panied to state that they usually
keep it very quiet. But it IS a legal fact, and
any man who has a reserved seat ticket for
May 10, and does not use it, can get admis-
sion, but not a reserved seat, on the same
ticket ON some other night.n
, 1884-08-28

ITHTelUIOE ltHI JOUTIHI1I
Professor Thompson, in Il letter at Glas-
gov, stated that the magnetic pole is now
near BOothia, Felix. more han 900 miles
west Of the geographical pole. In 1861 the
magnetic pole was due north, it having been
eastward before that hen it began
to move westward until . 1916, when
the maximum was reached. This is now be-
ing steadily diminished. Professor Thomp-
son says that the changes which have been
observed, not only in the direction but in the
strength Of the earth's magnetism, show that
the causes which originally magnetic the
earth are still at work.
, 1884-08-28

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapel hands, chilblains,
corns, and all skin eruptions, and positive
ly cures piles or no pay required. 1t is
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction, or
money refunded. Price % cents per box.
For sale by Gray Il Pearse.
, 1884-08-28

Mr.. VIM. johnson, of Huron, Oak. ,
writes that his wife had been troubled
with acute bronchitis for many years, and
that all remedies tried gave no permanent
relief, until he procured a bottle of DR..
Kings New Discovery for consumption,
coughs and colds, which had a magical eff
feet, and produced a permanent cure. 1t
ir guaranteed to cure all diseases ofthroat,
lungs or bronchial tubes.
Trial bottles free at Gray & Pearse's
drug store. Darge size Sl.0O.
, 1884-08-28
Compliment OF the season.


81 understand said Il cow-cuunty poll
tician, walking into the Office Of the local
paper the other day, revolver in hand Il
understand that you called Inc a liar in your
paper this morning.
80 1 did, my dear SIR said the editor,
calmly. but l only said you were u campaign
liar
oh Is that allg' said the modified in-
truder; and after rendering the molder Of
public opinion his %fine-out, lie walked peace
fully out.
, 1884-08-28

IN OH time magistrate IN Georgia once de
livercd the following decision in the case OF
an industrious settler who was sued for q
small sum: The defendant is "A hard work
ing man. He settled in the woods and has
cleared up Big new ground and isnow open
ing up another clearing. ! don't think that
he Is able to pay the debt at this time, AM
the other man appears to be in good circumt
stances, snd can afford 10 wait longer
carnot, therefore, give Judgment aeainlt tn
defendant
, 1884-08-28

An intelligent but cautious weather OBJ
server in Wayland, Neb., responded to the
inquiry Of a signal-service officer who was
gathering facts about the origin Of cyclones
with a letter, thus; Ser your Surckeler es
at Hand as Ner as l Can Com to Et the %
Was n Mise Day.
, 1884-08-28
Corroborntes IL.
Co1

Kansas City is the only city Of 100000
population in this country which has not got
a baseball nine~ This corroborates the report
Lat out in that section the vigilance com
enittees have mover disbanded.
, 1884-08-28
For fine watch repairing,
DAVID Miller 18th street.

The boss soda water only FIVE cents q
glass at Ellis, 29l Eddy street.
, 1884-08-28

Ladies fine shoes, new styles and best
qualities. can be found at jenkins & Ross.
, 1884-08-28

Tell for you cam what is it to be wisei
It's nut to know how little can be known;
To SEQ all others faults, and feel our own.
Ppm.
, 1884-08-28

The ~changeless stiffness OF LIES stagnaticn
Is worse than the widest waves could be.
Rending the rocks eternally.
LADY Wilde.
, 1884-08-28

KEY CITY HOUSE s .13ss9 5Eqgaps SWEET re-. 4!,, %@sF an. OF sr sPR9
Ben EKDAIs proprietor This old and popular resort having been remodded and
thoroughly cleaned, am now prepared to accommodate the public with rooms day
and regular boarding Best accommodations in the city for The price.
, 1884-08-28

E. E, BURLlNGAME 5 5SSA3 SE'IG 9a @H2 eHF ~ 5s1. 54R 3
1861 Samples by mail orexprss viii receive prompt and careful attention. Gold
and silver bullion refined melted aud asayed OF purchased Address 446 Lawrence
street. Denver Colorado