The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-06-19
LONDONDERRY, VT, THURSDAY, JUNE 49, 1884,

She waited patiently, thinking mean.
while how proud Josiah would be of
his little wife, and how the whole city
would ring With her praises for having
outwitted a burglar. Presently she
heard the stealthy steps coming near
er, nearer, and then u smothered ex-
lamation She just lay back in bed
nd laughed. He was done, for she
was sure What a pity she hadn't a
pistol; she could shoot him so easily
now. She listened. Another step.
A bold burglar certainly. He must
know she was alone. She ceased
Still another step! "Thun-
der and Mars" came in muflled tones
up the stairs and along the hall. Mer-
cful heaven! he was coming in.
"Great Scott! Jerusalem! Ten thou
sand furies! Sulphur and brimstone!"
were waited to her ears in half smoth-
cred tones. She waited to hear no
more. She sprang from her bed, and
putting her mouth to the crack in the
door, called out:
"Oh, please, Mr.. Burglar, do go
away! Take anything you want;
there's plenty of silver down stairs,
and my watch and jewel-case are in the
cabinet with the silver trimmings.
Take them all; you are welcome to
them, indeeUyou are; and if there's
anything else down stairs-brt please
don't kill me. Josiah would feel so bad
and, and-if you are going down be
careful not to hurt your feet"
But she was interrupted by a terri
ole howl of:
Great guns, Martha, it's me. What
in thunder ails these stairs? Some
thing or other has cut my feet all to
pieces. Open the door, quick, can't
you! Pm bleed ng to death Quick,
| say! Amt you got no sense! Let a
fellow stand here and lose his life
blood because you're afraid Of some
fool burglar! / want to see what the
thing is. 1 hope l amt poisoned.
May be it's scorpion or tarantula,
|
"Oh, no, Josiah, it's only the burglar
alarm. You see, /" began Mrs. Fill
lisy, throwing the door open, and letting
the light fall on Josiah, who stood
midway on the stairs, vainly endeavor-
ing to hold both feet in his hands at
, once.
"Oh! oh! oh! Confound your ol0
, fourglar-alarhi. What in creations
name is it anyway? It's killing me
l can't stand nor sit down, nor-nol
, anything"
"Climb onto the bannister, Josiah,
did"
; Climb onto the bannister, woman
And so you've been playin' circu
while l have been away. l though
l when l married you l had found
woman of discretion; but it seems
was mistaken. You're like all the res
" Sliding down the bannister, indeed
', Now tell me what Ill this confounde
', nonsense MEANS" said Josiah, perchin
= himself astride the bannister, and ey'
ing his wife Indignantly.
"Oh, Josiah, indeed 1 haven't bee
playing circus at ALL" exclaimed Mr.
- F., bursting into tears. Il
F" was afraid, and SOIL invented
burglar alarm, and--and--I new,
dreamed of your coming home but
;. thought if burglar should get in,
~ would prevent his getting up stair
L and-and--I guess it would" Al
she smiled ruefully upon the barb,
~ points at her feet.
"StarS and gartels! Prophets al
40 conjurers! When will women cease
lo be fools?" and the representative of tt
80 worlds wisdom shifted uneasily in l
" enforced position.
- "NNill you kindly tell me, oh, gre
: inventor, how am I to get up the
~ stairs? My stockings are alrea
~ plastered with blood to my poor fee
~ "Climb up the railing on the outsit
like this" and she showed him, by c
ample, how easily he could gain
Il npper landing! When once there,
. turned spitefully to his wife with
words:
NJ "Martha Ann Fillisy, you are
DOT biggest fool I ever saw! II you e.
aer invent another thing, I'll shut you
in lunatic asylum Inl