davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01
4 Temperance Sermon.

"No, I won't drink with you to-day,
boys" said a drummer to several com.
panions, as they settled down in the
smoking car and passed the bottle. "The
fact is, boys, have quit drinking-Pve
sworn off," He was greeted with shouts
of laughter by the jolly crowd around
him; they put the bottle under his nose
and INDUCED in many jokes at his ex.
pense, but he refused to drink, and was
rather serious about it. "What's the
matter with you, old boy" sang out one.
eff you've quit drinking. something's up;
tell US what it is" "Well boys, I will,
though I know you'll laugh at me. But
I'll tell you, all the same. have been
a drinking man all my life, ever since [
was married, as you all know. love
whiskey--it's as sweet in my mouth as
sugar-and God only knows how I'll
quit it. For seven years not a day has
past over my head that | didn't have at
least one drink. But am done. Yes.
terday l was in Chicago. Down on
South Clark street a customer of mine
keeps pawn shop in connection with
his other business. l called on him, and
while 1 was there a young man not more
than 25, wearing threadbarc clothes and
looking as hard as if he hadn't seen a
sober day for month, came in with
little package in his hand. Tremblingly
he unwrapped it, and handed it to the
pawnbroker, saying, Give me ten cents
And, boys, what do you suppose it was?
A pair of baby's shoes, little things with
the buttons only triae soiled, as if they
had only been worn once or twice. where
did you get these? asked the pawnbro.
ker. Got 'em at home,' replied the man,
who had an intelligent face and the man
ner of gentleman, despite his sad con.
dition. 'My-my wife bought them for
our baby. Give me ten cents for 'em--I
want drink you had better take the
shoes back to your wife; the baby will
need them, said the pawnbrokcr. No
s-she won't, because-because she's dead,
she's lying at home now-died last night
As he said this the poor fellow broke
down, bowed his head on the showcase,
and cried like child. Boys" said the
drummer, "you can laugh if you please,
but II have baby of my own at home,
and Iswear III never drink another drop"
Then he got up and went into another
car. His companions glanced at each
other in silence; no one laughed the
bottle disappeared, and soon each man
was sitting in seat by himself reading
a newspaper.-"Nentor," IN the Chicago
Herald.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01
includes n Moral.

"Ah! old man, how are you coming
on ?" said one young man 10 another on
the street.
''First-rate. How's yoursclf?
"Good! BY the way, l believe l Dor;
rowed a dollar of you last week, and
might as we'll return it,"
5PBorrowed a dollar of me?" he re-
piled, in affected surprise. 81 had for
gotten all about it"
"Well-er-er-Iw was under the i'm.
preston that it was you | borrowed it OF,
but I must have made mistake" :"
"Ah-er-come to think about it do
remember Of lending you a dollar last
week"
But his friend had got mixed up with
the crowd and was out of hearing.
The moral of this is, dear reader, if Il
man says he owes you a dollar take his
word for it and don't try to put On style,
or you may lose your money.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01
There was to be q b;uttinr mate

There was to be butting match
in Colorado between robust Swede and
negro. They were TO start ten feet
back from scratch with their heads
lowered, and rush at each other like
rams, the collision to be repeated until
one was disabled. At the last moment
somebody whispered to the Swede what
he had never heard bc!ore-that an Afri-
can skull is generally deemed iuivulner'
able to conclusion that would smash a
white mans. This destroyed his courage,
and he lodged the woolly head that came
plunging viciously at him. The negro,
missing tho expected resistance, VIZ ty
momentum carried rod against a fence,
Oh which lie Was dangerously punctured.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01

= To take out black oil spots from
clothing wet the spot with turpentine,
rub en- plenty Of soap; wash out in cold
water.
A clergyman who recently held SER
vice in Auburn prison preached from the
text, "Go home to thy friend" His
hearers were all willing, but couldn't
seem to arrange it.
- When the judge says, ~ sentence
you for life" the grammarian and the
prisoner look upon it quite differently.
The one thinks il very brief aorlencc,
the other thinks it couldn't we'll be long
cr.-- B0ston TINES.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01

- Old Mr.. Topeasy fell overheard the
other day. He was tshed out and was
sent home, and while tearlully recount
ins his misfortune to his wife, he said :
81 swallowed about gallon of water" "
Then you know how il tastes at least, .
returned Mrs. Il. lie wished he had
been drowned.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01

- Powder is something like money.
It's awful hard to hold after it begins to
60.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01
,s = n,rtv of tourists were being

As party of tourists were being
rowed across a lake in Scotland, a squall
of unusual ferceuess came up and
threatened to capsize them. When it
seemed that the crisis was really come,
the largest, and physically strongest of
the party, in state of most intense fear,
said: "Let us pray" "No, no, my
man." shouted the bluff old boatman,
"let that little man pray; yon take an
oaro
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-05-01

watched the movement of an army can
realize how we forget ourselves in think
ing of the soldiers. "NIan does not live
by bread alone" we discovered, for we
hungered and thirsted for information in
regard to the tide of war more than tor
any material sustenance. | do not
believe there was a woman in the Con-
federate States, after the hard lighting
had begun, who, having to make choice,
would not any day have preferred a
newsnaper to her dinner.
Sun River sun., 1884-08-28
A Noted Colorado Town.


Perchcd up in ragged little gulch,
surrounded by overhanging noun
tains, is the little city Of Central, in
Colorado 1t has produced more great
men to its size than any other town in
America. With population not ex-
cecding perhaps half u thousand, it
claims to bo especially expert in the
production Of precious minerals and
great intellects. It has given to fame
Pullman, the slccping-car millionaire;
Hill, tho pioneer Of smelling and Uni
ted States senator; Teller, ex-senator
and secretary Of the interior; Chaffee,
ex-senator and chairman of the exec
utive committee Of the national re-
publican party; Irving Hale, who has
won renown rs foremost Of all West
Point students, and it ought to be
honored, in the person Of Judge Har-
ley B. Morse, with the next democratic
governor Of the state. Denver Opin-
ion.
Sun River sun., 1884-08-28

From the Wsshtub to the Jury.box

From the Wsshtub to the Jury.box.
The ordinary excuses will not avail
women to escape jury duty in Wash
ington Territory. Ono lady, the wife
OF ex-Judge Of the Territory and
mother Of large family, the young
est child being only three or four
years old, was in the midst Of Mon
days washing when the sheriff came
to summon her to court to act as grand
juror. She looked aghast at him.
"Why how can go7" she exclaimed.
But in two hours she did go and vim
dicated the majesty Of tho law by help
ing to render just verdict against u
contumacious liquor seller. New
York Tribune.
Sun River sun., 1884-08-28
Rich News Carriers.

A newspaper carrier in Philadel-
phia has route which he values at
$500. He serves about 1000 papers
daily, the profits being over $4,000
year, the expenses Of five assistants
not over $500, and losses by bad
debts small. A considerable number
Of tho carriers have comfortable for
tunes. A veteran remarked to u re-
porter: II guess there are very few
people who pick up their favorite
journal at the breakfast table have IN
idea that many Of the poor carriers
who struggle through rain, and snow,
and mud, day in and day ont, are
such a prosperous class Of citizens"
---...-=--- o
The members of the Salvation Army
have begun crusade against the cor
set, which they dcnounce as the de-
vice of tho devil.
We learn from good authority that
Pete McDermott, who shot and killed
William Murane at Clendenin, has
gone to White Sulphur Springs to
give himself up to the authorities
there. Whether true or not such n
course is more in keeping with Nc
Dermott's former character than fee
ing from justice rs at first reported.
The general opinion among those who
know him best is that he considered
himself fully justified in committing
the crime and will not shrink from
any punishment that may result
Record.
A pawnbroker on South Clark street
died. The son called upon a minister
and arranged for n funeral service.
Ihe corpse was to be at the church on
the following morning and Il hoarse
was engaged. The next morning the
minister was at the sanctuary in his
robes and tho choir was looking up
some appropriate rcquiems and an
thems. A hearse drove before the
church. The driver jumped from his
seat and hitched the horses to ring
in the curbstone. Then he walked
into tie sanctuary and handed the
minister note. It was from tho son
OF the corpse, explaining his absence
from the funeral. 1t read: Enclosed
find So Busy taking invoice, Any
second handed sermon will do Sorry
l can't be with you. Tho bearer will
act as corpse's best friend" This
story has been offered to several pa
pers and rejcctcd.) Chicago Herald.
Sun River sun., 1884-08-28
II should think the snakes would
be To heavy for Won to handle.n

"They are, and il there is anything
that makes me glad to get out Of the
business it is that. After handling
them I always faint. Snake-charm-
ing is gift, and for any one to at
temp il that has not got the gift is to
covet death. My father and mother
before me were snake -charmers."
Sun River sun., 1884-08-28

Three half breeds arrived in town
Inst evening from Maple creek, North
West Territory. They have in their
possession a lot of Canadian land
script which they tried to dispose Of.
They tried to get rid Of it at Winni-
peg, but found money SO tight there
that they could not sell at any price
Record,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

Levi ID. Jarrard arrived in New Bruins
wick from Canada, yesterday, in charge
of officers, and was safely lodged in Jail
at that place.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

The impression too often obtains with
public officers that they are the rulers OF
the people, not their servants. The Bor-
dentown Common Council are likely to
learn lesson in this respect. Recently,
Rev. o. A. Kerr and David Singleton,
representing the Temperance Alliance,
asked to examine all applications for Ii.
cense for inns, tayerns, oyster cellars,
restaurants or saloons in 1883, in that city
This was refused. A mandamus there
upon was issued by Chief Justice Beasley
commanding the City Recorder aud each
member of the Common Council to APP
pear before the Chief Justice to-day
"Wednesday to answer for the refusal.
The Bordentown Register saysa nice little
bill of costs of $50 accompanied the
mandamus.
qlsis 10 . fair Illustration of tho power
and impudence of the whiskey interest
a City Recorder and Common Council
playing into the hands of whiskey saloons
and taverns.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19
CLARK PIERsoN, Editor.
REPUBLICAN STATE CONVENTION.

The Republican electors of New Jersey, and all
other voters without regard to past political differ
ences, who are in favor of eleyating and Identifying
American labor, protecting and extending home
industries giving free popular education to the
masses of the people, securing free suffrage and an
honest counting of ballots, effectualy protecting
all human rights in every section of our common
country, and who desire to promote friendly feels
ing and permanent harmony throughout the land
by maintaining National government pledged to
these objects and principles. requested to send
delegates TO q State Convention to be held at
TAYLOR HALL, in the city of Trenton, on
THURSDAY, THE 18TH of APRIL, at II o'clock
noon, for the purpose of electng four delegates at
large to the Republican National Convention
which will assemble at Chicago, on June Sd next,
TO the nomination Of candidates for President and
Vice President to be supported at the next general
election. The basis of representation under this
CALL will be one delegate for each two hundred Re-
publican votes cast at the last Presidential cleo
ton, and one delegate for each fraction thereof
exceeding one hundred votes provided that every
township, ward and precinct, legally defined as
such Gas in Jersey City, shall be represented by at
least one delegate.
Under the rules prescribed by the National Re-
publican Committee, the Republicans of each Con-
gressional district have the option of electng their
delegates to the National Convention either in
conventions held in the respective districts within
fifteen days next prior TO the meeting of the State
Convention, or as subdivisions of such State Con
vention, but the practice in this State having uni
formly been TO select tho district delegates at the
same time as the delegates at large, Il is recon-
mended that this usage be adhered to, and that the
delegates TO The State Convention from the several
Congressional districts, meeting as distinctive
Congressional Conventions in Trenton on the day
of the State Convention. elect two delegates each
to the National Convention.
BY order ofthe Republican State Committee,
GARRETT A. HOBART, Chairman.
JOHN Y. FOSTER, Secretary.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

1t isn't al all to the credit Of women
that the woman-lawyer In Washington
is an advocate of polygamy. And yet
Belva Lockwood is the legal adviser of
the Mormons, and desires Congress to
let the Mormons be. Every decent
woman in the land will point the finger
Of shame at an intelligent woman who
thus upholds polygamy. Instead of
Directing to reform in this matter, it is
expected of this woman, who should
illustrate the wisdom of permitting
women to practice at the bar, that
she should uphold virtue, and advocate
reforms of all sorts. Women are expect
ed to restrain men and keep they from
doing evil, and yet this onlp female law
yer upholds one of the foulest blots upon
the Nations escutcheon. Let the women
frown down this woman; she Is not rep
resentative of their virtue, their intelli.
gence or their patriotism.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

From the Boston Pilot.
WoRKINGMEN OF IRISH ORIGIN AMI
THE TARIFF.--The workingmen of the
country, nine-tenths of them in the Dem.
ocratic party, have something to say on
the question, and, in spite Of the cant OF
politicians, they do not see how their lot
is to be improved by throwing open our
markets to the competition of tho whole
worlds cheap labor. Not all the argu-
ments of all the wellpaid agents of the
Golden Club can make the mystery clear
TO them.
Among those workingmen is another
element Of political thought, consisting of
several million Irishmen by birth or par
entage-loyal American citizens, but Irish
enough to hate above all earthly objects
of detestation the works and pomps and
deviltries of the arch enemy, England.
1t is not blind or n binding hate. 1t is
founded on bitter experience and sustain
ed by sound logic. What England has
been to Ireland she would be by force or
will to America il sword or gold or craft
could aid her.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

THE STRONGEST DRrNK.--Water is the
strongest drink. It drives mills; it is the
drink of lions and horses, and Sampson
never drank anything else. Let young
men be teetotalers If only for economy.
The beer money will soon build house.
If what is spent in waste were only saved
against rainy day work houses would
never be built. The man who spends his
money with the publican, and thinks the
landlords bow and 'sHow do 70 do, my
good fellow ?o mean true respect, is per-
feet simpleton. II spend money for the
good of any house, let it be my own, and
not the landlords. The beer house is q
bad friend, because it takes your all and
leaves you nothing but headaches. He
who calls those his friends who let's him
sit and drink by the hour together is ig-
norant-very ignorant. Those who go to
the public house to find happiness climb
tree to find fish. --iSpurgson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

When Senator Sewell last week voted
in favor of restoring Fitz John Portor to
his rank in the army, etc., he represented
the Democratic party of New Jersey and
not the Republican. Further, by his vote
he paid the Democratic Senators the COM
pliment of being clearer-headed than
those that he usually votes with. Only
four other Republican Senators looked
through Democratic eyeglasses at Por-
ter's case. The ex-rebel Senators, OF
course, all voted for Fitz John. He helped
them in the war; why should they not
help him now ?
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

Hon. Abram s. Hewitt conspicuously
wore the green on st. Patrick's Day. as a
tub to the whale which his hobnobbing
with the British Minister bad offended.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19
- "A Is -
Vegetable Sicilian
HAIR REVIEWER

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HALE>s HAIR REVIEWER has steadily grown
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The use for short time of HALLS HAIR
REVIEWER wonderfully improves the per-
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its use matter of economy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19
New York SIN, Iathinst.
WHAT TITS FOR.

Congress" says the Boston Herald,
'has been in session more than three
months without affording any answer to
the question: What is the Democratic
party here for?'
This is great mistake. The answer
has been given, and it is so plain that
even the fools ought not to misunder-
stand it.
The Democratic party seems to- be as
sembled in Congress principally to render
the success of the Republicans at the
next election as certain as human frailty
will allow.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19
DEATHS.

Near Pleasant Run. March 10, 1884,
Margaret e. Conkling, aged As years and 2
months.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19
THE MARKETS.

Lambertvile, March 10, 1884.
PRICES OF GRAIN corrected every Wednes-
ay by +. +. LEAR 4 Co., dealers in Grain. Flour,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

And now Keely declares that his motor
is about finished, and will be ready for
trial in short time. CAS- soon as he OBJ
tains one perfect revolution his task will
be practically finished" just so. The
same may be said, with equal positive
ness, of perpetual motion. But the trou-
BILE has always been to get just that one
revolution,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19
MARRIAGES.

sUTTERLEY--BUsH--In st. Andrews Church,
Lambcrtyile, N. T.. on Wednesday, March ~
1884. BY the Rev. Elyin X. Smith, Charles Will
Mary Bush, daughter Of Mr.. Joseph Taylor, Of
Lambertville.
SPARLING--CoBB--At Stockton, March, II. 1884,
by Rev. A. Cauldwell, John 5. Sparkling aud
George Anna Cobb, both of Delaware township.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-03-19

Good Butter at s4c h., and Pure
Creamery Butter CSC. a ID ;, at KILRoy's,
N. Il. Cor. Bridge and Union SITS.
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1884-05-15
Dorsey as A Stockman.
now THE STAR ROUTE STATESMAN LlyEs uN
ms RANCH ~ TIN FAR SOUTHWEST.
.Frcm the Denver Republican

Tx Senator Dorsey, who is now devot.
ing his attention t. stock raising in
ColllN county. New Mexico, is very
comfortably settled on his ranch, about
forty miles from Ration. Johney Card
gave reporter yesterday very graph,
account OF Dorsey ranch and his mode
Of living. The eN Star router has now
about 10000 head Of cattle on his range,
including number OF fine bulls, and
is steadily grading up all Of his stock.
As smaller cattle mon come near to his
range with their herds he buys them
out or gets rid OF them in another man
ncr, 40 that he holds his water rights
undisturbed. He manages his cattle
ma,tsrs in busine-s.like way, employs
an experienced foreman and book
keeper, has his own range riders and
sign riders and his own round ups. lie
has had very good luck since he began
his cattle enterpr sc, has lost few cattle
and his herd is rapidly increasing.
The ranch of Dorsey is a large, uupre
teutiouS abode building situated in 8
wide, shallow arroya, bordcrcd BY cot.
tonwood trees and surrounded 10y a
wire fence Inside, the ranch i furnish.
Ell magniticently, especially the parlor,
Dorsey's sleeping room and guest rooms
for visitors, of which the house has
several and which are in continual use.
\ piano stands in the sitting room,
which contains also a we'll selected
library and a completely appointed
side board. Dorsey rises early in the
morning, has breakfast and a talk with
his foreman and book. keeper, and then
takes ride Of ten or fifteen miles over
his range. He is a good rider and gen.
nerally let's his horse out when he goes.
Returning 20 the ranch he has another
meal, and then smokes and chats with
his guests, If he has any, or reads until
bed time, which for him now comes at an
early hour.
Sometimes, but rarely be visits Rocky
Crossing, Springer or Ration, and every
now and then takes flying trip east.
lie dresses generally in gray tweed
suit, i, afable towards all his employees.
and is popular among neighboring cat
tie men, by whom he Is generally
addressed as "SenAtor."
Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1884-05-15
One of the Conspirntors Talks.

George NJ. Robson, Secretary OF the
Navy under Grant, in a recent inter.
view said
"itthe Democrats had possessed back
bone in those DAYS they might have put
Mr.. Tilden in. They would have had to
fight for 1t, though. Grant had the
troops in readiness. bad a thousand
marines ready IN case of an emergency.
But, fortunately, it was never necessary
to do anything, and am glad there was
not. ! do not want to see any more
such days
If this man tells the truth, he con.
fc,ses himself one of the conspirators
banded together to defeat the willo the
people. II is shame to Republican
government that they succeeded. Thai
there will be- rctrlbutipn, aud a severe
one, we believe as firmly as we believe
great crimes never 60 unrunishcd. The
avenger - sure TO come along. The
leading actors are already coming to
grief DoylfS'nmq Daa7tr1i.