Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-03-18
The Jumping Frog Of Calaveras.
BY MARK TWAIN.

III COIIlpllduCt Will Lie ToQuoSb VI d lTleuu
of mine, who wrote me from the East, l
called on good. natured, garrulous old Simon
Wheeler, and inquired after my friends
friend, Leonidas W. Smiley, as requested to
do, and l hereunto append the result.
have lurking suspicion that Leonidas W.
Smiley is myth; that my friend never
knew such parsonage; and that he only
conjectured that if l asked old Wheeler a.
bout him, it would remind him of his in
famous Jim Smiley, and he would go to
work and bore me to death with some ex-
asperating Renaissance of him as long and
as tedious as it should be useless to me. If
that was the design, it succeeded.
| found Simon Wheeler doing comfort
ably by the bar-room stove of the dilapidat-
ed tavern in the decayed mining camp of
Angels, and l noticed that he was fat and
bald headed, and had an expression Of win
ming gentleness and simplicity upon his
tranquil countenance. He reused up and
gave me good-day. I told him friend of
mine had commissioned me to make some
inquiries about cherished companion of his
boyhood named Leonidas W. Smiley, a
young minister of the gospel, who he had
heard was at one time resident of Angels
Camp. l added that if Mr.. Wheeler could
tell me anything about this Rev. Leonidas
W. Smiley, would feel undermany obliga-
lions to him.
Simon Wheeler backed me into corner
and blockaded me there with his chair, and
then sat down and reeled off the monotO-
nous narrative which follows this paragraph.
He never smiled, he never frowned, he new
er changed his voice from the gently-fow-
ing key to which he tuned his initial SEN
tence; he never betrayed the slightest sus-
Iarn of hxxf 1rrl,
interminable narrative there ran vein Of
impressive earnestness and sincerity, which
showed me plainly that, so fam from his
imagining that there was anything ridiculous
or funny about this story, he regarded it as
a really important matter, and admired its
two heroes as men of transcendent genius
in fnesse. l let him 60 on his own way,
and never interrupted him once.
"Rev. Leonidas W. HIM, Reverend LIE
well, there was Teller here once by the
name of Jim Smiley, in the winter of '49-
or may be it was the spring of '50-I don't
recollect exactly, somehow, though what
makes me think it was one or the other is
because l remember the big fume warn't
finished when he first come to the camp;
but any way he was the curiosest man about
always betting on anything that turned up
you ever see, if he could get anybody to bet
on the other side; and if he couldn't he'd
change sides. Any way that suited the
other man would suit him-any way Just 50
he got bet, he was satisfied. But still he
was lucky, uncommon lucky; he most al
ways came out winner. He was always
ready and laying for chance; there couldn't
be 10 solit'ry thing mentioned but what
that feller'd offer to bet on it, and take
airy side you please, as was just telling
you. If there was horse race, you'd find
him flush or you'd find him busted at the
end of it; if there was dog-fght, he'd bet
on it; if there was chicken-fight, he'd bet
on it, why, if there was two birds sitting on
a fence, he would bet you which one would
hy first; IT there was camp-mOeting, he
would be theIe regular to bet on Parson
Walker, which he judged to be the best ex-
horter about here, and SO he was, too, and
good man. If he'deven See straddle-bug
start to go any-wheres, he would bet YOU
how long it would take him to get TOTO
wherever he was going to, and if you took
him up, he would follow that straddle-bug
to Mexico but what he would find out where
he was bound for and how long he was on
the road. Lots of boys here has seen that
Smiley, and can tell you about him. Why,
it never made no difference to him-he'd
bet on anything-the dangdest Teller. Par
son Walkers wife laid very sick once, for a
good while, and it seemed as if they warn't
going to save her; but one morning he come
in, and Smiley up and asked him how she
was, and he said she was considerable bet
ter-thank the Lord for His infinite mercy
and coming on so smart that with the
blessing of Providence she'd get well vet;
and Smiley, before he thought says, "Well,
I'll resk twO-and-a-half she don't ANYWAY"
sThish-yer Smiley had a mare-the boys
called her the fifteen minute nag, but that
was only in fun, you know, because of
course she was faster than that-and he
used to win money On that horse, for all she
was so slow and always had the asthma, or
distemper,. or the consumption, or some
thing of that kind. They used to give her
two or three hundred yards start, aud then
pass her under way; but always at the fag-
end of the race she'd get excited and des-
perate-like, and come cavorting and strad- |
ding up, and scattering her legs around
timber, sometimes out to one side among
the fences and kicking up more dust and |
raising more racket with her coughing and |
sneezing, and blowing her nose-and al
ways fetch up at the stand just about aneck
ahead, as near as yeu could cipher it down.
Sand he had little small bull pup, that,
70 look at MIN, you q MINK ne warn worth
a cent only to set round and look onery,
and lay for chance to steal something.-
But as soon as money was put up on him
ne was different dog, his under jaw'd be-
yin to stick out like the TO castle of steam
boat and his teeth would uncover and shine
ike the furnaces. And dog might tackle
him, and bull-rag him, and bite him, and
throw him over his shoulders two OF three
lines, and Andrew Jackson-which was the
name OF the pup-Andrew jackson would
lever let On but what he was satisfied, and
laan, expected nothing else-and the bets
,eng doubled and doubled on the other
noe an the time, till the money was all up;
IND then all OF sudden he would grab that
,ther dog by the j'int of his hind lea and
reeze to it-not chaw, you understand. but +.
'nly just grip and hang on till they throw