davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
-~---@@-7-ll7@|@@l-llll-
A Bigamist In His Mind.
Texas Siftings,1

leAdS Outings.
"How does yer new wife take to city life"
inquired Aunt Sukey of Gabe Sloshing. The
latter had quite recently married a negro girl
out in the country and brought her to the
city.
81 tells yer, Aunt Sukey, dat it am all a
piece oh foolishness, n delusion an a snare,
dis bringing country female niggers inter a
big metropolis like Austin It's shoah ter
done spile EN-. Dere's too many frivilities
an follies an frippries fer dem to stan it.
Dey becomes jiSt too vain an peacocky for
any use, an sling ON mo- style den n mule
kin draw. My two wives will be de ruin
ashun oh dis niggah"
"Your two wives, Gabe! What does yer
meant Yer aint got no two wives, has
yeri"
Oats a fac. l 'spects ter be indicted fer
bigmany eff desn't keep my eye peeled"
"How does yer make out dat yers got two
wives!"
Every night goes home, l sees EN-"
''Sees emf
"Yaas, one in de lookin' glass, an one in
front ob it.n
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
They Declared.


Over in Chicago, the other day, an organi-
zation which we will call 1.-The Great Hum
boldt Rail and Water Line" had meeting
of the stockholders. When all were assem-
bled the secretary reported deficiency Of
$500 for the year; also that the stock had
deprecated one-half, and the future pros
poets were extremely dark and dubious. In
deed, he argued that the company had bet
ter wind up and get out from under the best
it could.
1--WE owe $4,000, ehl" queried one of the
stockholders.
"Yes, sir"
1.-THE income won't meet current ex-
penses"
''No, SIR"
"Fact is, we are as good as bankrupt"
"That's it, sir. We can't run another
month"
"Then, sir" continued the speaker, 81 move
that we declare a dividend of - per cent,
and begin to unload stock on the contiding
public!n
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
n WOnnan's Joke.

Mr.. Oscar Wilde's American story, which
we noticed yesterday, was first introduced
to England, OF at least to London, by Sir
Charles Bowen at great bar dinner about
this time last year. 1t was then given as
happening in a church, and the notice was,
"Please dc not shoot the organist; he does
his best" This remote American town,
which possessed at least one church and one
organist, and evidently high standard of
taste in ecclesiastical service, was not i'm
probably the same which on another occa-
sion boasted of three places of worship. Each
of these us a rule, was crowded, till on one
Sunday morning, when the assembling wor-
shippers found each church or chapel fast
locked and inaccessiblea There was, for the
moment, no resource but to disperse. Later
in the day, however, the mystery was solved.
A yonug lady in the town had sent an
anonymous letter to each clergyman in the
following terms: "All is discovered; fly"
And they fed.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
Over Colorado Mountains.

Cor Akron (OD Beacon.1
From Leadville we started for Utah, first
making the ascent of the famous Marshall
pass. The train was drawn by two powerful
locomotives The motion was so slow that
some of the passengers got off and walked
alongside the track. Up, up for two long
hours without pausing or once striking
level. The air became rare and frosty.
Snow was on the mountain sides close by,
but we did not strike drift. Again and
again the road doubled on itself. Sometimes
we went two or three miles to reach an alti-
tude of "A few hundred feet Immediately over
n stated starting point. Snowsheds were
numerous. At one point near the summit we
looked down and counted four distinct tracks
on successive lodges, the bottom one looking
like two slender wires almost in parallel con-
tact. The descent at last begun; we carefully
retraced as many long loops as we had made
in the ascent, and presently pulled up in the
handsome depot in Gunnison, Colorado's
western metropolis. Now we began to realizs
how large n state Colorado is. We had read
in the guide books that she could contain all
New England within her borders and still
find room to stow Indiana away. But to
ride three days and nights without once get
ting beyond her boundaries was an object
lesson not TO be escaped
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
Extent OF the Match Trade.

"That match you are lighting your
cigar with is a very small thing, isn't
it?" said a passenger who had shared
my seat for few miles. "A small
thing; but you wouldn't believe that
the American people paid out $27,-
100000 for matches last year, would
YOU? 1t looks big. but it is fact.
Now, take pencil and figure it out
Fifty millions ofpco, lie in this country;
they use on an average five matches
each per day; that is 250,000000
matches daily, or ,, 100000 boxes of 100
matches in box, every day. Last
year these boxes retailc1 at an average
of cents each, making $4,000 II day
for matches, or S27,T5,000 a year.
And then to think that three-fourths of
all these matches were supplied by one
company! If they didn't make $780,
100000 clear profit cut of it they didn't
make a cent"
The harvest day of tie match monop-
oily is now at an end, as they no longer
have a government revenue tax levied
for their benefit But they still control
the trade on account Of their superior
manufacturing facilities, large capital,
etc. They own thousands of acres of
timber land in Michigan, and their lum-
Der is cut by their own men and shipped
on their own boats. And then they have
contracted for nearly all the worlds
supply of phosphorus, years ahead, and
the new manufacturers S arting in o the
business find ,hemsel,eS eS overmatched
in many ways by the old monopoly,
which can still control the trade and
make fair profit on its investments.
They control twenty-five factories, and
one of them has capacity of 72,00O,00O
of matches daily.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
The Peter Cooper Begging Boxes.

New York Cor. Chicago News.l
New York ought to be ashamed of herself
for permitting the continuance of begging
boxes for Peter Cooper's monument. At
Elevated stations, bridges, ferries and the
other public places are seen boxes labled with
an inscription soliciting pennies for a work
that should be one of love-if the work was
needed, and it is not. Peter Cooper
needs no monument He built for
himself grand pile in Cooper
institute, and to place shaft in the
little triangular park near the institute would
be almost caricature. And the begging
boxes are treated in a shameful manner by
the people Cigar stumps, cuds of tobacco,
toothpicks, and scraps of paper far outnum-
berng the pennies dropped in. The people
here cheerfully face an expense of 81 ,0OO, 900
to support Italian opera, while well-meaning
people are begging pennies for Peter Coopers
monument and the foundation of the
Bartholdi statue. The new generation in this
city possess little heart or sentiment
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
WHOLESALE HOUSEKEEPING.
Pies ON Tap, Coffee by the HOgshead
and Telel hone to Blow Up the Cook
with.

New York Evening Postl
A suggestion comes from Philadelphia for
the application of cooperative principles TO
family cooking. The idea is to have meals
supplied to houses through pipes, like gas
and steam. The dwellers in a block are re-
commended to combine, and erect in the
centre of their square a common kitchen OF
sufficient capacity to supply all their wants
This kitchen is to be connected with each
house by covered steam-pipes large enough
to admit for passage covered and
heated car in which the food can be
placed. BY means of the telephone a house.
keeper can order the kind of dinner desired,
and when the dinner hour arrives all she will
have to do will be to turn stop-cock and
have the food shot, piping hot, right upon
the table. This would dispense with Bridget's
services in the kitchen, and would afford
many other reliefs which have long been de-
sired in every household IL the head OF the
house objected to the breakfast coffee, or to
the cooking of the dinner, instead of making
himself disagreeable about it in the family
circle, he could step to the telephone and
"blow up the cook The fact that the cook
was at distance would add to the relief thus
afforded, for it is much easier to call per-
son disagreeable names through a telephone
than in his immediate presence.
But the most welcome gain of all would be
the respite from household cares which the
system would bring to the woman OF the
house. She would not have to go to market,
and would be spared the periodic struggles
with the cook for the control of her own
premises. This is where the proposed reform
is likely to secure its greatest favor. The
want" of the period is a system of house.
keeping which has no burdens of any kind.
Hotel life does not meet it, because, while 1t
saves relief from household cares, it does
not furnish any of the blessings of home
life. The great apartment houses, with res.
taurants attached, come nearer to it, but
there are defects in their system. Why
should not the Philadelphia idea be enlarged
and applied to all the principal demands OF
housekeeping! IL meals can be sent through
pipes, why stop theres The block kitchen
might be enlarged into a central reservoir. II
fire of Goals was wanted, a pipe might be
connected with the back of the CRATE, and a
ready made fire might be dumped into it in a
twinkling, with none of the usual concomi-
tants of shavings, kindling wood and dust.
BY another pipe the ashes might be returned
by simply touching a spring. So, also, in the
matter of servants. A supply could always
be kept on hlnI at the reservoir and ring
of a bell might bring chambermaid, a por-
ter, or a waitress. Housekeeping would thus
he reduced to a system of pipes and electric
bells
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
The Growth or the Nails.
Manufacturer and Builder


The nails are structures which are
very nearly like the epidermis and the
hair, composed of hard horny matter
arranged in the form of cells. They
are, indeed, only altered portions of the
external or epidermal layer of the skin,
and rest upon their nail beds in much
the same manner as the epidermis or
scarf skin lies on the true skin or
derma. We speak of the root and body
of the nail root being that portion
toward the hand which is situated be-
of the nail. The matrix is the
bed upon which the nail rests and to
which it is firmly adhercnt. Nails grow
from the root just as do the hairs, and
only slide over their matrix or bed, so
that an injury to the matrix, such as
slivers beneath the nail, or run arounds,
or even bad bruise, need not cause
n disigured nail other than of the
portion directly injured whereas injury
or disease of its root will generally
cause distorted and disfgured nail.
| have seen bruise at the root, and in
one instance the sting of bee over the
root of the nail, followed by an irregu-
larly formed nail, which lasted for n
long time. Thus, also, eczema attack
ing the hand may affect the ends of the
fingers, or even the sides ut the ends,
and the nails remain perfect; but when
it is located on the backs of the fingers,
and involves the roots of the nails, the
latter rarely if ever escape distortion
and NAL ORC Al th
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
Prehistoric Golden EIshhOOks.
Tucson (Arizona) Citizen.l

Tucson (Arizona) Citizen.
Z. J. Smith, the county coroner, has four
gold fishooks that he unearthed in the South
American placers. He was mining in river
bed near the city Of Call, in the state Cauca,
United States of Columbia, in 1856, when he
pulled up small tree by the roots and there
in the sand lay an even bakers dozen of reg
ularly shaped gold fishhooks of the ordinary
size. They are not bent in the Limerick
fashion. Without doubt they are the work
of prehistoric Indians, governed by the Incas.
When Mr.. Smith returned to San Francisco
he gave some away, lost others, and now has
only four left. He has been repeatedly asked
to put his price on these, but refuses to do SO.
The other day he refused an offer of $50 for
one 1t was such trihes as these that excited
the avarice Of Pizarro and other vandals, who
tore down better governments than have ever
occupied the same terri tory since.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
The Parasite or Malaria.
Scientific Americana


The observations of NJ. Richard seem
to afiim those of Leverau; he found in
the red corpuscles of the blood of per-
sons suffering from acute malaria par
asite of oscillating form moving very
rapidly and sometimes disengaging
itself from the globule. These para
sites have been met with in q n, mber
sufficiently large to obstruct the capil-
larry vessels, and to explain many of
the symptoms of intermittent fevers. 1t
has also been proved that the culture
of these parasites in fertile gelatine
basis can be brought to an immediate
cessation if two per cent. quinine So
luton is added.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
A Precarious Business.

John w. Mackey said to reporter for The
St. Paul Pioneer Press: mining is the most
precarious business i'm the world" "You can
well afford to say it," the reporter retorted,
with $50, 900 to your credit But did you
think SO in 1860, when you were pushing an
ore car in tn Ophir miner II knew 1. then
only in theory, for my salary of a day was
always sure, and my wants were simple. You
always hear of the successful miners The men
who disappear and are lost in Pauper alley
are not SO often quoted"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
a Wonderful Wedding Cake.
IChicauO Hnrall

An English bride, Miss Jessel, has
had wonderful wedding cake. On
top, done in sugar, was representa-
tion of the meeting of Rebekah and
servant at the we'll, the
grouping modelled after Vernet's cele-
brated picture. The cake was four
feet high and weighed 227 pounds. The
cover or top lifted off so that the cake
could be cut.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
some Queer Notions.

Laramie DoOlDefanR.I
The old Jewish doctors entertained some
queer notions in regard to finger-nails. A
favorite theory was that before Adams fall
the bodies of the first parents were perfectly
transparent, and that the nails are the ves-
tige left Of mans estate in the garden of
Eden. Instances have been observed of nails
growing on the stumps of amputated fingers,
and when the coffin containing the corpse of
the great Napoleon was opened long after his
death at ST. Helena, his toe-nails had grown
clear through his boots, and his hair stuck
through the chinks of the coffin.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
Blood In Her Eye.
Chicago N,ws. j

A precocious Child, having Broken
one of his Mothers cutglass Tumblers,
was confronted by his Irate Parent, who
Tremble, for have Blood in my Eye"
"Nay, be not Deceived, dear Mother"
said the Precocious child, Its not the
Blood in your eye, but the Switch in
your Hand, that Makes me Tremblew
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
THE STORY OF IDA"
Whittier in The Manhattan ]

Whittier i'll The NanhattanJ
Weary of jangling voices never stilled,
The skeptics sneer, the bigots hate, sas
din
OF clashing texts, the webs Of creed men
spin
Round simple truth, the children grown who
build
With gilded cards their New Jerusalem,
Draping the awful mystery of the soul
With sacerdotal tailoring, alb and stole,
turn, with glad and grateful heart, from
them
To the sweet story of the Florentine,
Immortal in her blameless maidenhood,
Beautiful as Gods angels and as good;
Feeling that life, even now, may be divine,
With love no wrong can ever change to hate,
Nor sin make less than all-compassionate!
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
I fArkansaw Traveller. I

De pusson what is only smart in one thing
may make big success OBJ hisse'f, but he
oughten'ter thing hard oh people case da gifts
tired OBJ him, fur we think more oh de mockin'
bird, not becase he can sing better den any
udder bird, but becase he's got SO many
different songs.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
A Versatile Editor.

New YORK Graphic.1
Mr.. Clinton A. Snowden, editor of The
Washington Republican, has invented a po
tato peeler and engaged himself to be married
to daughter Of Assistant Postmaster Gen
eral Hatton. Few men are more versatile
than the average Washington editor.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
Biggest Newspaper HeadQ uarte ers.
[Cor. st. Paul Pioneer Press

lCOT IoU. Ihul IlOneeT 1'reSS.
The Tribune building is the greatest news.
papers headquarters in the world. Not only
Tie Tribune, The Journal, and half dozen
other paoers, are printed there, but occupy
ing the rooms of the front building are repre-
sentatives of the following papers, recording
them in order from the eighth fioor down
ward: Chicago Times, Pittsburg Telegraph,
Louisville Commercial, st. Louis Republican,
Chicago Tribune, Cincinnati Commercial Ga
zette, st. Louis Globe Democrat, Louisville
CourierJournal, Peck's Sun, Omaha Bee,
Kansas City Journal, Washington Repub
lican, Denver News, Oregon News Kellogg
lists Il Q,3lD papers, New Orleans Times Demo
crat, Philadelphia Press, Kansas City Times,
San Francisco Bulletin, San Francisco Call,
Chicago Grazer and Baltimore American.
These newspapers fill up the best rooms in
the building.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19

Lime-Kiln Club: When you knock man
down you simply appeal to his physical sys-
TEN. When you convince him wild argument
you touch de spiritual part. A butcher cart
kin run ober mans leg, but eben locomo.
tive can't crush his soul.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19

lEXcnduSeJ
"There are souls in my church SO SMALL"
said Mr.. Talmage to a reporter, $50 infnited.
NAL, so mean, that fifty of them could dance
schottische on the point of a cambric needle
without touching each other"
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.

DERSONS IN NEED OF LEGAL BlANhS;
Warranty Deeds, etc, would do well to ma ke ap-
plication at this Office, where they can he OBJ
tained at reasonable prices. Blanks printed 10
order on short notice.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19

A man, as he manages himself, may iii
old at 80 OF young at So
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19

Horace Walpole: The world is comedy to
those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19

George W. Julian, of Indiana, is writing
political "reminiscences also.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
Any Description
PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO.

BY arrangements with reliable land attorne,s
mers can have their land business attended to
the same as if personally present at either place.
Parties wishing to purchase or locate lIand
Scrip would do well to consult me.
sTy-AIl latest Land Laws, Rules and Decisions
kent on file. Land Warrants bought and sold
Conveyancing, taxes paid, purchases and sales
ly remitted. IL u
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19

The wasis of sin is deth but cent cigar
can give sin moren ten yards start and beet
1t every clatter.
Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19

Err !
he only
Q In tho
ye0ra.
||lssE1sr cE1s%rr
5 )! J! |! J
ELEPsY
rant my
- have
Send Ct
lfallible
10 you
York.
SELL
ping Ma
ngs with
will also
ere Is al
terms TO
16 Ire
The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1884-04-23

raft he was picked up by passing ship,
and landed in Australia. Then he saw an
account Of the shipwreck, and his own
name among the lost. Dlsconsolate he
went back into the country, and, after
some hardsbips, had begun to make
money, and In few years had 200
saved This he took, started back to
America and placed 1t in bank.
"He then began to search tor his wife.
He discovered that she had given birth to
child, daughter, and after struggling In
poverty awhile had disappeared, no one
Knew where, and rumor said she had died.
HIS wife's relations nearly killed him, and
In sheer despair he had shipped again.
1t was on this trip resu med the
wounded man, shat I met Hening, and
ne feeling that he had not long to live,
TOLD me his story and made out his
VIII, requesting me to find his wife and
daughter, and give them the money.
Should they be dead the money was to
De mine-soon after he died, and came
pack as soon as possible, and found that
with interest there was quite large
amount in the bank.
After long search finally found the
girl was alive, and the demon OF avarice
seizing me, made up my mind to kill her,
and so secure the wealth. For this pur-
pose found an old shipmate who had
become sot, and engaged him to outrage
and then murder the girl. This he at
tempted to do, but failed to kill her,
and 1t was while quarreling about the
payment that received my death wound.
The glrl is your adopted daughter, and the
money is hers"
The wounded man gave Edwards all the
necessary proofs, and the girl Jennie got
the money without any trouble, and it is
needless to say that she made her adopted
father comfortable with IL.