Morning journal and courier., 1884-09-16
CONTRIBUTIONS.

Committee Then, sir, you refuse to con tribute to our campaign fundw Govern ment clerk-sT do" FEWhom, then, do you intend to supporta" f'My family" Chicago News.
 l When Chinese couple separate-for tEey
 don't need divorce there-the children, says an exchange are "amicably divided" In eff disagreeable process. Free Press.
 From a business point of view: ''Papa, , said little boy, looking up from his Sunday school lesson, ''are all our deeds in this world recordedg" ''Not always" replied the old man, who is real estate lawyer; 'I lost $350 once by failing to record eed."-Mail and Express.
 Stump Orator-'I don't think take with
 the masses" Admirer- Nonsense! You are earning golden opinions" Stump Ora tor.-'' ''Yes, it looks like it, when I speak night after night and never receive the least applause" Admirer-'' That's what I said; silence is golden, you now."-Boston Tran script.
 Lawyer Blank was in his usual cynical mood ''I don't see how it is," he said, ffthat the devil always seems to get ahead of the Lord notwithstanding you say the get" replied the parson, E'that the devil has all the lawyers on his side. ."-Boston Tran script.
 ffIt would never do for you to cast your
 bread upon the waters, my dear," said the fond young husband ''Why not, Alfred?"
 asked his pious wife "Because it is 80 heavy it would sink, he replied. 'fWretch" cred subject?" t'No, my dear" !" he replied,
 ''nor can my stomach. ."-Pittsburg Tele- graph.
 Stern parent-F'But Edith is too young to marry She is but seventeen, and"- Impor- tunate youth "But you believe in General Buffers advice?" Stern parent -"General Buffers advice? What do you mean?" I'm vised his friends to unite with the minority and am trying to follow it, you know. "- Transcript.
 Theatrical manager-"Oh, yes, I have en- gagged wonderful prima donna. She has magnificent wardrobe and quantity of dia- monds, and speaks French, German and Italian" Friend-''Well, but what kind of voice has she got s' T. M.-"By love, never thought to find out anyhow that's of no consequence. ."-Boston Post.
 .'I see a woman is going to stump the State ''Yes." "By George, that's good news" ''Whya Do you think she will make many converts9" 'fOh, wans't thinking of that" 'eWhat thenG' ''Why, as soon as my wife hears of it she'll want to go out stumping, too" tIWell?'' <fWell, when she starts in to talk I'll have the sympathy of the entire State. ."-Chicago News.
 sNow, as understand the tariff, Clar- enee," said a fair young Albany bride, about whom still clung the odor of the orange blossom, "nearly everything that is import ed from the old world has ro pay tax Am right, deareet2' C Yes, fond one," replied Clarence, as he softly stroked her brown tresses; lin order to protect our home in dustries, under the present system, most i'm portations pay tax. There is party who would remove the tariff " t'Oh, Clarence, you will never vote for that party, promise me-" stAnd why not?" asked the devoted husband sfBecause then our hired girl could get a French artificial bouquet on her bonnet just like mine, and that would be perfectly horrid." As Clarence fondly en- braced the fair economist he thought of the noble and unsel6ah motives that would actu- ate the ballot in the hands of women.-Al- bany Journal