Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1884-04-11
COOP MANNERS.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE FALSE AND THE


THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE FALSE AND THE
GENUINE.
tTroni q sermon by Rev. Brooke Herford, Boston,
last Sunday morning.
A good deal of what is called good man
ners is only a poor sham Municipalities
adopted for ones own sake. You see great
deal Of very pretty behavior which is only
spurious gentility, laid on like varnish. There
Is great deal of selhshness and you know
the sort of article which is furnished at those
seminaries where young ladies and gentlemen
are finished" as it is called, with great deal
Of conceit and very little OF the solid re-
quirements, but a good deal Of second rate
fashionable novels. There is a good deal OF
conventional good breeding which is worth
less, as IL only comes from pride. The way
people, who know each other well, will stand
for half an hour at a reception close togeth-
er, or sit in neighboring pews in church and
never speak because they have not been for
mally introduced, is ridiculous. The best
people do not do this, for their manners have
more elasticity, and they enjoy more com.
mon sense. Then there is another thing
which is not genuine, but fishing for oompli-
monts. When you offer TO go out of your
way for people with whom you would like to
stand well, that is only the DEVILS self seeking
the place of the angels life. They are only
like flowers stuck on wire. All true good be-
havior grows out Of the qualities within, even
though it may not be of a very high order.
Emerson says "The basis of good manners
is selt-reiance," but that is what have al
ways felt to be the weak side of his philoso-
ply 1t is one basis of good manners, but
the very thing that strikes me is that this
self-reliance often brings about bad manners.
There are two elements for good manners
to be easy about Yourself and to have consd-
GRAFTON for Others and IL l could not have
both, l would rather have the consideration
for others than the self-reliance, for that is
apt TO degenerate into free and easy behav-
ior. You touch a deeper and a nobler source
in self control, which is one of the master
elements of life, if you have your move
ments, your speech and your thinking well
in hand. Even bodily self-control counts for
a great deal, and l would never allow a child
to toy with his fingers or stand in a careless at
titude when saying lesson. To stand firm
ly on your own feet on the ground is one of
the first things to learn, and self control will
enable you to go quietly on and see what to
do aud how to do it. Yet higher thing
think is to have a kindly feeling and thought
and feeling for others, the outgrowth of a
kind heart taking pleasure in making others
happier The English writer Decker puts
Christ down "a being the first true gentleman
that ever lived, and it is more of Christ that
we want in our behavior. That is the true
answer to those who ask about good manners
All people cannot be trained where they pro.
fess to teach manners, and it will not help
you much to read Don't" but the real thing
is tho most simple thing of all. Cherish in
your heart kindly feeling for others and a
desire to make life go smoothly, pleasantly
and kindly, and with that feeling in your
hearts you cannot go far wrong. There is
nothing 80 beautiful as a life that Is rooted
in Righteousness and kindness. Strength is
beautiful, but it is more so when tempered
by faithful gentleness.