davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
The Journey Of n Million.

Statistics as carefully studied by DR..
Farr tells us that of a million children
ushered into life nearly. 150, 900 pass
away by the end of the first year Twelve
months later SO, 900 more will have fol-
lowed. At the end of the third year the
number living will be diminished by 20, =
600 more. Each year Of the decade fol.
lowing will make its Inroads upon the
ranks, but less serious in amount, till the
thirteenth year will call for less than
1000. Those remaining will fall out by
twos and threes till the end of, the forty
fifth year, when it will be found that in
the intervening period about 500, 600
have succumbed to the hardships of the
way. At the end of sixty years 370, 900
gray haired veterans would still be keep
ing step with the duties of the passing
days. Eighty years would see. 81. 600
remaining, with strength impaired and
steps growing feeble. At the end of
ninety-iive years but 223 would linger in
the darkening path, and these would be
rapidly thinned till in the one hundred
and eighth year the last survivor Of the
million would disappear, and join the
ranks of his predecessors in the great
host of the majority.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
True E'Ositcness.

An old gentleman was walking some
what gingcrly along the icy sidewalk
that extends west from the postoffice.
There is an excellent slide at this point,
and the old gentleman was proceeding
with caution when a wild boy came
along the slide with a whoop and
knocked the underpinning from below
the pedestrian. They both fell, "Fitz
James above, the Gael below" The old
man, who was somewhat heavy, might
have hurt himself were it not for the
boy beneath. As the upper person
slowly rose he looked at the fattened
boy and calmly said: Zone of us should
apologize, and as you are rather out of
breath, guess I'll do it. I'm very sorry
my son, that this unseemly incident
occurred"
The boy gasped out:
Betchcr life -old-chap--ye ain t
half's sorry's-I am"
And thus by mutual regrets, magnani,
mously expressed, all chance of future
trouble over the affair was happily avert
ed.-DetrOt Free Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26

Dust destroys as much property every
year as any natural agency except fire. In
Denver this is especially true, as there
dust is of peculiarly penetrating quality.
1t can get into houses through crevises
that would bar out even those angels,
a hundred thousand OF whom can stand
on point o. a pin. Dust is an expen-
sive luxury, which in these hard times
we cannot afford to indulge in.
1t soils the windows.
1t Injuries the furniture.
In ruins the books and the pictures.
It doubles the cost of keeping the
home tidy.
1t wears out clothing.
It doubles the wash bill.
1t destroys shoe leather. .
1t Increases the expense and trouble of
keeping the person tidy.
It damages all kinds of goods.
II spoil; the groceries.
It is de.efSrious to drygoods.
4 Ii is hurtful TO cigars and tobacco.
1t plays the mischief with drugs.
1t deyastate Xewclry and watches.
1t is hard on Vrdware.
1t is the bane & the furniture dealer.
1t spoils the temper of the bank teller.
1t takes away the appetite and so
feeces the restaurant. -" -.
1t represents all the aesthetic aspira-
tions, and blights the life of the art
dealer.
1t drives all music from the SOUL and
thus fosters treason's strategies and hand.
organs.
1t confuses the doctor, mixes up the
lawyer, and lays terrific burden on the
piety of the minister.
1t corrodes the temper of all.
1t is bad, baleful, malign, dire, de-
structive, deadly. 1t is lethiferous and
aLotie.-DenUsr Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
Some New Geography.


Of what is the surface of the earth
composed2
Of corner lots, mighty poor roads,
railroad tracks, baseball grounds, cricket
fields, and skatirg-l;Aks.
What portion Of the globe is water2
About three-fourth3. Sometimes they
add a little gin and nutmeg 70 it.
What is a town?
A town is considerable collection of
houses and inhabitants, with four or five
men who "run the party and loan
money at fifteen per cent. interest.
What is city9
A city is an incorporated town, with a
mayor who believes the whole world
shakes when he happens to fall fiat on a
crosswalk
What is commercet
Borrowing five dollars for day or
two and dodging the lender for a year
or two.
Name the different races.
Horse-race, boat-race, bicycle-race, and
racing around to find man to indorse
your note.
Into how many classes is mankind di-
vided3
Seven-Enlightened, civilized, half
civilized, savage, too utter, not worth
cent, and Indian agents.
What nations are called enlightened3
Those which have the most wars, and
the worst laws, and produce the worst
criminals.
How many motions has the earth2
That's according to how you mix
your drinks and which way you go
home.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26

A French lady recently died at the
advanced age Of ninety years Her will
contained the following provision: II
leaye to my physician whose enlightened
care and wise prescriptions have made
me live 50 long, all that is contained in
the cd oaken chest in my boddoir. Tho
key of the chest will be found under the
mattress OF my bed.' The heirs were
much disturbed, for they forcsaw ma
terial diminution in their share of the
property. The fortunate and eXpectaat
physician at length arrived, The notary
delivered to him the key of the chest.
1t was opened and found to contain solely
all the drugs and poisons, still intact,
which the worthy physician had given
his patient for twenty years back.-Her-
Gd Of Health.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
What is the earth's axis7

What is the earth's axis7
The lines passing between New York
and San Francisco.
What causes day and nightl
Day is caused by night getting tired
out. Night is caused by everybody
taking the streot-cars and going home to
supper.
What is a mppl
A man is a drawing to show the jury
where Smith stood when Jones gave him
a lift under the eye
What is a mariners compass2
A Jug holding four gallOns.-SaH
Francisco Ne1s- Letter.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT.
sLAPJAoKs oP HUMoR FRESH FROM
THE GRIDDLE.

A Change of Hase-Erue POliteness =
Very DiscOUragIng-Curi Gn,
gratisicd-Some New Geography.
"Wherc were you when the first shot
was fired in this row2" the magistrate
asked the policeman who made the com
plant.
"Right on the spot; right in the
crowd" replied the officer, proudly.
And where were you when the second
shot was firedin
And with blushiug reserve the officer
modestly admitted:
Three blocks down the street, under
the stone bridge, at the end Of the cul
vert. n--KasckeYe.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
Very uiscOuraging.

Young Poorfelow Crying to make
himself agreeable to his adorcd ones
father)-"Ah, yes the instinct of the
larger animals, such as the horse or ele-
phant, is very remarkable, almost
amounting to reason, in fact, but among
insects it is even more strongly devcl-
oped."
Old Mr. Fatpurse-'Tndeod -? have
not had much time in my busy life to
look into such matters"
Young oorfelIow-"Yes, there is a
certain insect, l forget its name now,
which shows marvellous foresight in pro-
viding for its young. 1t is, of course,
necessary that they should have food as
lsQon as Matched, and to insure this the in
Jays its eggs in the body of grub
sccs~Sg grub, l mean, and when the
"a il,vlllss1he W. young ones begin to feed
eggs natch Soidihg all vital parts, SO
., on tnis grug, az sins alive untiilit Is al
that the grub reraps-oed Is AM. sunl,
fcost entilelg COZ lsssss :, = Z ~ srol
y oresight shown among llit'SS S'A' = : :
ICiild like to knows
th04 Fatpurso We'll, it seems, - u 'ile "
s,,ab III Eoang man shows goo9 dc9l q q
sss suen 'oresight when he triP' TO mary
tn.o 1 eh family so that beand his emil
aren 1Si can live of the Old golks, "-P@iIa'
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
Cur Ios,ty Ungratifisd.

Inc other day a MISUNDERSTANDING
stranger appeared in Pctaluma aud re-
mained five whc,le days without the in
habitants finding out his name, where he
came from or his business. At last the
general agitation grew to such a pitch
that the sheriff volultecred to interview
the stranger in behalf of the public
veal. approaching the taciturn visitor,
as he sat in the Office of the hotel, the
functionary remarked
"Fine day. sir:p
"Is, eh" said the stranger, dubi-
ously.
"Going to stay long in these parts2"
"Just four days two hours and thirty
one minutes longer,n replied the other,
consulting his watch and a timetable.
"Then-may I-er, ahcm, may l ask
what your business is2p persisted the
sheriff, as he gathered up closer
"Well, l don't wish it generally
known" replied the stranger confdcn-
tally, ''but I'm Russian Nihilist."
"You don't mean it'" gasped the off,
cial
Fact" replied the man mourn
fully.
"But-er-what brings you here9"
asked the sheriff.
"Well, you see I was capturedin st.
Petersburg last month, and-you knox
how severe that government is on Nj J.
lists, don't you2"
ooh! of course; 60 on"
"Well, they sentenced me tc twenty
years in Siberia or week in Petalu,na,
and l was fool enough to choose Peta-
luna" '"1, ,
And with heavy sigh the condemned
man drifted in to dinner. = Petal uoaa
(Cal.) Herald.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26

Marmalade is made from banana skins
in Philadelphia
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26

The assessed value of Illinois is $40,
900, 900 less than it was one year ago.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26

They had been quarreling about his
next summer clothes. She wanted to
have his light suit cleaned up for 1885,
and he wanted a heavier suit. whats
the use of fighting about thisl" he said,
finally. 81 may be in the cemetery next
summer" 81 think" she replied, "you
will need your summer clothes wherever
you may be. - Graphic.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
FLOODS IN THE EAST.
PrOsp ects for Great Loss of Property
In New EnoIanh

Hartford, Conn, April 1S,-The Connec-
ticut river is twenty feet higher than usual,
and covers all the docks TO and below Mid
dletown The river is still rising.
CALAIS Ne, April 1o-The eighty-foot
bridge at Barring has been swept away, the
mills narrowly escaping. A further rise of
d foot is predicted which would break every
boom in the river and fine tooth comb will
not find a remnant of the various industries
which line the banks of the st. Croix. The
low lands between Princeton and Calais
are under water and the flood is
spreading. Every mill on the river
is shut down and large gangs of
mill men are engaged strengthening the
booms, mills, etc, in every possible manner.
Heavy floods are reported Manchester, N H.
and Waterville, Me-
NEW YORK, April 19-Reports of heavy
rains and floods continue to come in from
Maine and New Hampshire High wa
ter has caused "a suspension of work
in many mills, and is threatening
bridges and dams At Milltown, Me-, the
water has risen n foot, and it is feared the
logs will break loose. In that case great dam.
age will be done to property. At Laconia
n. H.. lake Ninnepisaugee is rising an inch
an hour The dam has started to move. II
it breaks, many houses will be carried dowT
the river.
WORCESTER, Mass, April 19.-It is feared
the dams of the North pond win give way
The pond contains 5000O0,0O0 gallons of
water, and is about seven feet above the level
Of the city Should the water break away, the
consequences will be disastrous
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
SWAIN AND THE BANKER.
what Is Said About the Case at the
National Capital.

WASHINGTON CITY, April ia. L.
Bateman, the banker, has withdrawn the
charges he made against Judge Advocate
General Swain, stating in his letter to Sec
retary Lincoln that they were made under
misapprehension of the facts,
1t is said that when Swain heard that Bate
man had preferred charges against him he
sent a mutual friend to settle the matter, and
it was satisfactorily adjusted, the firm to
whom he had assigned the due bill surrender
ing it, and Withdrawing their suit against
Bateman
What the secretary will do is not kn own,
and it is a question whether he will allow the
charges to be withdrawn. They have been
made, and Bateman has asked permission to
prove them before a court-martiaL The
secretary has nothing to do with the settle
ment of the case, and whether it is adjusted
or not is no business of his. The charges are
on file, and must rest against Swain unless
he can answer them satisfactorily
The officers of the war department
say that the only course open to
Swain is to ask for q court of inquiry at
once, to clear his character, for an officer of
his prominence cannot afford to have this
scandal as stigma upon his record without
an explanation. The judge advocate general
of the army ought to be above reproach.
Gen. Swain cannot be seen, and has remained
away from his Office all day. His friends
say that he is entirely satisfied with the with
drawal Of the charges, which is in itself
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

MACON, Ga, April IA negro passing
by some dense underground in the cemetery
saw an object which looked like human
form. He found very old man lying dead,
with vial of morphine in his hand. The cor
oner was summoned, and found in the mans
pocket letter in which he gave his name as
William Lunsford native Of Tennessee
and for fifty years a conductor on various
railroads in various parts of the country,
and his last service was on the Central of
Georgia Having passed his SD year, and
having neither money or friends, he chose
death as relief from his troubles He begged
to be buried just as he was found, without
change of clothes or washing. Leave me, =
he concluded, ito the friendly worms and tia
great unknown
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

We ask attention to an appeal from
the American Humane Association in
favor of improved cattle cars, which will
be found in our advertising columns. OF
the sufferings of animals in the common
car ne one can be wholly ignorant who
has seen trains of them on our railroads,
or who has ever visited any great cattle
yard when the cars were being unloadte
there. Is all this suffering necessary?
The improved car, in which animals can
be fed, watered and have rest while on
their journey. answers this pathetic ques
ton. 1t is not necessary.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
WINNING THE WINE.
An Episode OF stage Life NJ arrying
on Bet.

ST. PAUL, April ia rather romantic,
altogether novel, wedding did not take place
upon the stage of the Grand Opera house a
few evenings ago. Some eight weeks ago r.
f. Graham, who was with Minnie Palmer
some time, Miss Helen Lowell, and
Miss Sophie Hummel, of the "Wanted,
a Partner company, and Joseph H.
Arthur, Of the Bunch of Keys" com.
pany, were supping together in New York.
Mr.. Arthur twitted Mr.. Graham Of his
bachelorhood, and the latter, on the spur of
the moment, laid wager of basket of
wine and supper for the crowd that the next
time he met Mr.. Arthur after leaving New
York he would marry Miss Lowell. The
two gentlemen met at the Merchants hotel
here. Mr. Arthur reminded Mr. Graham of
his wager and the latter at once arose,
sought Miss Lowells apartments, and
proposed to her in the presence of
Miss Hummell Miss Lowell accepted the
rather sudden offer, and it was arranged that
the wedding should take place on the stage
After the performance Rev. Mr.. Dana was
sent for, but at the last moment it was dis
covered that the person having it in charge
had neglected to procure a marriage license,
and the ceremony was necessarily postponed
Graham never spoke of marriage to Miss
Lowell before this proposal. The wedding
will take place either at Minneapolis or
CthiCapo
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
AN APPEAL FOR
Improved Cattle Cars.

FHuE United States law to protect animals during
l. Transportation by rail provides that, when they
are carried in cars in which they can be fed, wat
cred, anu have rest, its requirement that ANIMALS
shall be unoaded every IS hours, and then have
rest of hours shall not apply 10 animals in such
cars. The law prevents starvation and TOO long
confinement in cars so FAR AS 1T Is 0BEYED by The
Railroad Co.. :, and its existence and enforcement
are of the first necessity while the common stock
cars are used. but the reoading al the stopping
places is attended with much cruelty, it being
naturally hard to get the poor creatures back into
cars, where they have already so suffered, without
blows or worse.
To meet this want of an improved car the Amer
lean Humane Association offered prize of five
thousand dollars $4,000 for such car in 1880, to
stimulate the inventive genius OF the country.
one of its conditions was tnat the patents on the
improved car should be given TO the Association,
that the car might be offered TO the railroad com
panes by it free from charges of royalty.
But the owners of the best inventions decided
not to compete for the prize. thinking that their
cars would prove more valuable to them than the
five thousand dollars. Accordingly the prize
could not be awarded. The oner however. Cans-
ed the construction of cars WHICH MEET THE RE
oUIREMENTs OF THE LAW, and the trustees of the
fund take this way of making known the fact 10
Officers, Directors and Stockholders of Railroad
companies and to all Humane people whose hearts
have been touched by the atrocities of this traic.
Gold medGls hare been qiDen 10 tke persons and
companies named below The names are given in
the order that the several cars were examined.
A. c. Mather, Chicago, Illinois.
W. Stuart Hunter, Belvie. Canada.
j. NJ Lincoln, Providence, Rhode Island.
Montgomery Palace Car Co. New York City.
Burton Stock Car Co, Boston, Massachusetts.
Thomas Clarke, TrHro, Nova Scotia.
John " Street, Chicago, Illinois.
So long as the common car is used, the words Of
Senator Mcpherson, Of New Jersey, VIII continue
true; Il declare the live stock traffic TO be one
long and uninterrupted line Of suffer ng from the
West to the East" The SANITARY objections are
alsoof the grayest character.
The great success of refrigerator cars is lessen
ing the number of animals transported alive: but
there must always remain such traffic IN thenas
TO make the improved car permanent necessity
To avoid all misapprehcnslons ON the sahlecl,
we add that neither the Association or any Of It's
officers have pecnniary interest ID any oi the
cars above named.
EDWIN LEE Brown,
Chicago Ill. Trustees of Car Prize
Mrs EMILYW APPLETON, Fund of American
ABRAHAM FIRTH, Humane Association,
Boston, Mass,
April 0, 1884.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

John Kuhn, of Lafayette, Ind, had a
very narrow escape from death. This is
his own story: zone year ago | was in
the last stage of Consumption. Our best
physician gave my case up. | finally got
so low that our doctor said I could not
live twenty four hours. My friends then
purchased a bottle of Dr. VIM. Hall S Bal
sam for the Lungs, which benefited me.
| continued until | took nine bottles.
am row in perfect health having used nc
other medicine"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
The ArthuF Vote.

CHICAGO, April 16,-Assistant Postmaster
General Frank Hatton arrived in the city
from Washington. He said to a reporter
d do not want 70 be quoted, but somebody
has done some tall lying about Arthur,
chances. He will come TO Chicago with a
majority of the delegates from New YorR
state He already has sixteen out of twenty
two that have already been chosen, and he
has the support of a large number of districts
which have not yet held their conventions.
Iowa is a Blaine state, and don't know what
the state may do, but she will not send del
egation to Chicago instructed for anybody.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

evidence that they could not be sustained by
the man who made them.
Judge Advocate General Swain said that
he intended to say nothing at present about
the charges of fraud preferred against him
by Mr., Bateman He added the matter was
one for the civil courts to decide; that the
contractors to whom he had given due-bill
had sued Bateman for the amount it calls
for, and in the trial everything in connec-
ton with the matter would become known,
and he was willing to stand by what
would come out then. AS to a court-martial
being ordered, he said he hardly thought it
likely that court martial would try what
evidently belonged to the civil courts. When
questioned further, Gen. Swain said he was
sure the whole trouble would be found to
have originated from mistake and misunder-
standing on the part of Bateman.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

When pain from rheumatism or Neu-
ralga is intense, people are apt to throw
away a great deal of money in search of
relief. They needn't do it. Says G. II.
Hotchkiss, 327 Grand St, New Haven,
after enduring intense suffering for six
months from Rheumatism, employing
four different physicians, without relief,
and spending many dollars for medicine,
I accidentally heard of Athlophoros, and
tried it. Three bottles cured me entirely
in less than three weeks time"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

ST. LOUIS, April 19-John G. Telford, a
passenger on the Iron Mountain railroad
from Pine Bluff, Ark, en- route to ireland,
was robbed of ST. 900 on a train near Poplar
Bluff, Mo, by c. NJ. Dennet. The
robber was arrested on the train by
one of the secret service men of the Gould
system, and the money was found in his pos
session. Dennet has been running as express
messenger on some Of the western roads, but
is said to be an eastern crook"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

A little act of kindness. like presenting
bottle of Athlophoros to friend, lifted
him out of great agony and restored him
to his place in the grand army of bread
winners. In writing for more of the
Great Rheumatic Remedy" Mr., VIM. J.
Mosher, "a Elizabeth St, E., Detroit,
Mich, says: obtained bottle Of Ath-
lophoros through a friend. Tried it for
my Rheumatism and received great bene
fit
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
A Malignant Yarn.

New YORK April 1S.-ft is reported from
Washington that Mr.. Blaine is much an
noyed by word from his publishers that the
sale of his book has been injured by the en-
craving of ex-President Hayes, to which many
object. The authority for this statement says
that Blaine is contemplating the advisability
of having his publishers cut Hayes picture
from the future editions of the book, on
grounds, of course, purely financial.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
Decline in Hishwines.

CINCINNATI, April ia decline of cents
on the quotations of highwines causes some
excitement in whisky circles. 1t is done
without the order of the whisky pool, ana
The sales reported were those of leading mem
bers of the pool, in this city. 1t is regarded
as the necessary result of the dull market and
the large quantity of Kentucky goods press
ing for sale.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19
The Deadly Diphtheria.

MILWAUKEE, Wis, April 1a-Up to Tues
day last 50 per cent. of all the diphtheria
eases in the city reported to the health Office
for the month have terminated fatally. Out
Of total of eighteen cases reported nine
deaths have occurred. Last year there were
but eleven deaths from diphtheria during
the entire month of April out of total OF
fortY-three cases.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-04-19

DR. Prices Vanilla flavor Is extracted
from the vanilla pod. obtained from Mex
leo. This popular flavor, as made by DIR.
Price, embodles all of the delicate aroma
of this agreeable fruit, and is free from
the strong, rank taste of those extracts
sold as vanilla. If something nice is
wanted to flavor, get Dr. Prices Special
Flavoring extracts.