The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-07-10
MRS. GRUMPY.
INTERVIEWED At LENGTH BY A CON-
TRlBUT0R TO THE LIGHT.
What He Told Her and What She Told Him and
the Result Being Very Readable Sort OF
letter Embracing Many Topics.


Editor STA Antonio Idghts
| concluded to turn a leisure hour 10
aocuunt by interviewing the famous
Mira. Grundy, who, for many years, has
been the terror OF giddy headed and i'm
prudent people. especially of females
with more sail than ballast and more
tongue than brains. Mrs. Grundy has
been very much maligned and slandered
but In all seriousness and candor, my
opinion Is she has been sort Of private
detective ana constable OF moral and
social slips and tumbles, and has really
been benefactor. "what will Mrs.
Grundy say?" has nipped many an i'm
prudence in the bud, and subserved the
purposes Of II whipping post for social
offences not embraced within the scope
of the law.
My knock upon her door was rather
timid and hesitating, for, you must
know, was always afraid Of her, but 1t
was promptly answered by Mrs. Grundy
In person, but she firmly held the door
and proceeded to put me through a cross
examination.
care you one Of those brazen faced
book agents who win not understan
what no means, and who grindsl out
words faster than a hungry goose can
pick up grains of corn?'
1assured her did not belong to that
army.
"Are you an insurance agent, making
n living by swindling peopleg"
mo, madam"
$50 far SO good; are you machine
agent, or an agent Of any kind?"
mo, madam"
"Better and better,-are you one OF
those pesky, intruding newspaper chaps
who are constantly poklng their noses
into other peoples business, and writing
out a lot Of lies and guesses."
mo, madam"
'Are You a corn doctor, or a patent
medicine man, or tramp"
assured her held none of these po-
sitions.
Every well; then you may walk into
my parlor and tell me all the news-the
weather has been so burning and Bills
tering hot, that have not been able for
week to go out and get morsel of
news, and, to tell you the truth, am
nearly dying for news, for the news
papers no longer deserve the name and
ought to take down their sign. News
papers, indeed! Flddlesticks! Come
in, and I'll get you glass of wine and
some ginger cakes OF my own make.
There is nothing like wine to loosen the
tongue"
Mrs. Grundy hustled out, and in a
few moments returned with bottle OF
wine and plateful Of cakes.
81 never do things by halves. Some
people are stingy even in their hospi-
tality-down-right mean under their
own roofs; but you fire away at the
wine and cakes-I have more where
they come FROM"
l. took her at her word; the fact is no
coating was needed. / went for them
in dead earnest. My storage room is
not to be laughed at, and wine and
cake agrees with my inner man,
"Now, give me all the news" said
Mrs. Grundy, looking at me with gaze
of intense curiosity.
"Really, my dear Mrs. Grundy, 1 have
not mite of news. You see news will
not stick to met slides off,"
"Humbug! You men always talk in
that way. Tom Grundy, my husband,
always opened in the same style, but
when | got my pump to work on him
the news rolled Off of his tongue faster
than a shorthand chap could have
written 1t down. Take some more wine
young man."
a" Now tell me who is sick, and what
ails them"
went over pretty long list, and
guessed at the ailments of many OF
them.
II knew you were loaded with news.
Now tell me who is going to be married.
or course, young fellow like you are
counting some girl. Men can't help that
sort of thing, and your girl tells you who
else is oourting the other girls. You
know girl can't keep such thing
secret. She is proud Of beau, even II
he is fool, and she has to run around
and tell all her girl friends of the capture
she has made. The girls all do this cir
oulating-library sort of business; they
can't helm IT, Not a hit of IN When n