Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1884-06-27
lYar I am a lost man. y

Despite these reflections Mr.. Quimby
dressed himself, and, after q good round
of cocktails, walked to his Office and fell
into the regular business groove.
''Great Scott, Quimby t. said one of the
clerks, "what a head you've got on you.
Well, you must have been going the pace
yesterday. say, old man, you ought to
get to bed just as soon as you can"
But Quimby scowled at the junior and
went on adding up figures as if he felt as
fresh as the morning, and even tried a
popular air in subdued whistle to prove
to the crowd that the preceding day had
been one of undisturbed virtue.
"Qnimby," said the senior partner of
the firm, II want that invoice made out
by 10 O'clock
''All right, sir, am at work on it now"
Somebody for you, Mr.. Quimby."
cried the messenger boy, bursting into
the private Office.
.sShow him in Z, said Quimby.
A tall, gaunt individual, followed the
boy, and, fixing stony glance on Jack,
took a vacant chair.
''Of course you know who am, Mr..
Quimby 2''
''I'm blessed If do" replied Jack,
after close scrutiny; 81 never saw you
before in my life that can remember. :"
"My name,' said tbs visitor, sis Euto.
pious Brown, and have brought you
the coffin you ordered last evening. II
you show me to the deceased, Mr.. Quimby,
will arrange everything without further
delay. believe you remarked that the
corpse had been already two days on ice?"
Quimby looked at his visitor aghast and
then darted to the window. Sure enough
there stood black wagon entside the
door.
''My dear sir" he said, "there is nobody
dead in this house. This is business
house, and you are quite mis- taken about
the address. never ordered caffin from
you. I've got no one to bury. and-and
it strikes me. added Jack, growing des-
perate, 'that you are altogether in error
in fact. that you are not quite right in
your mind.''
SIS not your name John Quimby?"
sit is, I'm Quimby; but, great heavensl
I have no use for an undertaken"
"Then, why" said Brown, in an excl
ted voice, "why did you come last night
to my establishment and ring the night
bell. Why did you tell me to bring along.
the first thing in the morning, the nobbi-
est casket in the shopY Do you think that
is fair treatment for decent undertak-
or, Mr.. Quimby? Do you think
"Be quiet gasped Jack. Here is SIS
for New Years present. Say no more
about it. Take your casket back and
will call on you this afternoon and square
up the balance. Don't you see that was
not myself when spoke to you about the
intermentY Now 60 away, like a good
fellow" and Jack pushed Mr.. Brown out
and sat down again to his invoices with
a heavy heart.
"How full must have baenl" he NUT
tered. ''To order coffinI Why, that's
the worst ever did. I wish I could re-
member something about what happened
after left Benton's. But can't, its no
use; am wretched swine, and not long
for this world. Pm"
"Gentleman wants to see Mr.. Quinn
by,'' shrieked the messenger.
"Don't disturb yourself, Mr.. Quimby,"
cried short, stout man with bull neck.
"Just 1890. Came to give you your les.
son as per contract" and swinging . sack
from his back, he took out set of boxing
gloves. and smiled complacently at the as
tonished Quimby.
"What are you doing herer" calculated
that individual, as soon as he recovered
his breath.
Your boxing lessons. Mr.. Quimby.-
Contract drawn up, sir, last night. Signed
IN the presence Of Mr.. EImore. Hours
from 10 to IL every day at this Office. See
for yourself" And the pugilist handed
Jack paper on which his own signature
appeared, with Gilmore and several others
as witnesses, to an agreement between
Sam Slogem of the first part, and John
luimby on the second part, wherein it
was agreed that said Slogem should in
srruct said Quimby in the manly art of
between the hours of 10 and
12, at his Front.street office, at So so a
lesson.
"Here's $5," said Quimby. "take 1t for
your trouble. Mr.. Slogem. and come about
The latter end of next week." And as
The pugilist put his gloves away and
walked off Jack clasped his hands about
his head and fell into train of serious
thought.
''I've been off, )" he said, but never SO
off as I was yesterday. A coffin and box
ing lessons-where could I have been,
anyhow"
''Let me in; must see him! I'll kill
liml the cowardly scoundrell He insul-
Jed my wife. say, let me in I'll have
lis life!" The voice and the scuff1e were
outside Mr.. Quimby's door!
Impossible, sir, impossible. Mr.. Quinn
~ is gentleman, and never. knowingly,
nsulted any one.''
This was quite enough for Jack. he
cit cold chill all over. and Selling his
zane and hat, shot down side entrance.
where are you going Mr.. Quimby?"
'sked the porter.
"The whole world is coming here with |
collins and boxing gloves and insulting
wives. Pm crazy-plum crazyl Out of |
ny way, or iii kill you!', And the |
Vretched man darted into the street..
prang into hack and fell back on the |
eat in condition of complete exhaus.
ion.
On the third day of January. Miss A lice
Benton was informed that Mr.. John |
m hu cro uod ON oudion no NTH I,a.