The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-11-29


Never eat chestnuts just before re-
firing tc he'd
To live cheaply, have dried apples
for breakfast, eat them for dinner and ,
let them swell for supper
Jim Blaine's Augusta speech is in
short about this: II am beat and the
d--m rebels did it,"
Post masters walt "0h is there
no pity sitting in the clouds that sees
into the bottom of my grief?"
At Augusta, the other night, large
quantity of gangrene oosed from the
corpse of the G. 0. P.'s leader.
Over SO thousand post masters will
March forth, March 4th. "Good bye
my lover good bye"
Republicans regard tho result of
the election as too fatty sour to be
financial.
Hon. Sam W. Hawkins is the finest
debater in the Republican party in
Tennessee. .
He who tussels with a dog is sure
10 get beslavered however toothless
the animal.
Tho editors glory: A cold hogs
head, an onion, corn dodger and
both young uns yellin' at once.
Now the Maine Beauty and tho
Massachusetts Beast are eating with
the same spoon.
II must be said TO the credit Of Null
ligan that he proved no mullet head
in the enterprise,
What does it profit n post master
in this district if he gains 'Pcttibone
and loses the whole United States?
Never kick man when he's down.
When Prometheus was chained to the
rock, il was not an eagle that tore his
yitals, it was a vulture.
Some Democrats actually voted for
Reid and gave as reason for so
doing. that they hated to go back on
Aman who had been such a good
rebel,
The Republican party is getting to
believe very strongly in civil service
reform laws, Cleveland will very like
lyreiorm the civil service by turning
the rascals out.
One OF the most valuable pieces OF
information which the press is telling
the people OF the United States is this
"Thc electionis over"
Bclva Lockwood didn't run for Pres
ident for nothing. She intends tC
make it pay. She will start on &
lCctnring tour before great while,
Somc OF our brethern left the caml
just before the election. To all wan
dering saints we say, "Come home
come homo, and come quick or yol
won't get in at all.
Walter Brownlow, at last, acknowl
edges defeat and cries "fraud' II,
doesn't seem to know that in using
that word he plagarized from the in
ecription on his political tombstone.
A correspondent wants to know VIII,
Pettibone being Republican canno
have Republican officers appointed i,
this District We answer; Becaus
lhere is lake between him an
Cleveland,
Just about the time the mercury i
Toncrsybone's political thermomete
reached 100 degrees on account {
pettibone's election the national Den
ocratic blizzard set in and run it dow
Ia five minutes to 40 degrees belo
zero. aAaE
Blaine says IL was the rain an
Temperance that beat him. Th
newspapers say it was Rum, Roman
ism and Rebellion. Whitelaw Rel
saysit was the Independent Republ
cana Walter Brownlow says it WI
the Solid South. 1t is our deiibera
judgment that it WAS man by Il
name of Cleveland.
Tuesday Nov. 4th win be remembC
cd through all ages as day whe
James G. Blaine, the embodiment
all that is corrupt and corrupting
American politics was piloried to ,
time with as little compunetion as
dead polecat is nailed to barn doc
The Tallapoosa went under the wi
waves, busted by the nozzle of br
Jeems Gee Blaine went down und
the white capped billows OF the POI
lar will, struck on his nozzle by t
Schooner st. John. The crew on {
deck we're unknown, but the crew
the Schooner were rum romans
and rebellion, Little Rock and f.
Smith, guano, Northern Pacific, a
Captain MslGgon.