The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-11-13

wish was an editor" exclaimed
Q poor devil of doctor (albeit very
good doctorl
want Q chance to work nights. ]
suppose, said q reporter, who wa.
laboring to 50 mold doubtful fact as
TO mako it at snce readable and prob
able.
"Yes. or dry times; il wouldn't mat
ter much, provided it was some time.
But that's net my reason for wishing
was an editorl"
What particular grievance have you
got? Perhaps 1 can swing your shilla-
lab for yen and close your aching void,
both at the same time. Loose the
animilei"
Don't you think it's about time for
railroad companies to relieve their
patrons of the opportunities of news
agents p
mo, sir. I do not The time is long
past when the patrons of railroads
should have taken Judge Lynch with
them. and q competent and strictly
business jury and every telegraph pole
should have been made interesting to
tourists and coroners. Butcher the
butchersP should have been the motto
of passengers long ago."
Mind don't object to the newsboy
who passes through the cars with the
daily papers, but do to the imperti-
nent and importupate fiend who seems to
be an escaped graduate of Chatham
street; the pest who, from morning
until night, makes tired passengers
wish either that they were at their
journeys end, or that they could have
the satisfaction of hearing the wheels
grinding over him and his obtrusive
wares. Up engine-ward he seems to
have grocery, book and periodical
store, O cigar and tobacco stand, toy
store, news stand, fruit store, and a
curiosity shop, and during the day you
are importuned to buy each and every
article in each and every establishment.
Il, for one, don't believe that when L
buy ticket and go aboard q train, the
company has any right to send aboard
a fiend to torment me; that. when my
wife and L take possession of seat,
o train butcher has a right to any
portion of it for storage purposes, or
that L am compelled to act as shelf
for its wares, and to-day acted upon
that belief. Soon after We started this
morning / purchased newspaper
for myself and magazine for
my wife, though, goodness knows,
she didn't get chance to read
a word of it AS L paid the youth
for them, / said: Now, young man,
this is all the literature we shall want
to-day. We shall want no political
taffy in pamphlet form, extolling the
virtues of candidates; we take no act
i've interest in the James gang, the
Younger brothers, the Blenders, Guiteau,
or any other of your corps of assas-
sins; we desire no illustrated weekhes
showing the last days of the murder
ers, or the last legs of the ladies of the
ballet; our necessities do not include
wormy figs, cholera morbus apples, pep
permint prize packages, vegetable-ivory
trinkets, 1879 confectionery, or any
other part of your carefully selected
rubbish. Moreover. we have use for this
seattle whole of it, and shall most
strenulouslv object to holding any of
your stock in trade, the more especially
as our sick baby is competent to tire
out all the lap-room we have. There
fore, my boy, in your commercial
wanderings through this car, just skip
usl'
About three minutes later, just as l
had got fairly ensconced behind my
paper, my wife exclaimed: For good
ness sake, take them away L dropped
my paper only to find that butcher
holding in front OF her a basket OF
green, wormy, and withered apples.
while the pulling, fretful child was in
the very nice act of biting one of them.
i knocked it out of her hand and in
formed that boy if he brought any
more of his stuff near me I'd break ev-
cry bone in his body, to which he re-
piled: Guess not! L pays for selling
on this ere train, and if you break any
bones you'll pay for 'em, and don't you
forget it!
at took my wife and me long time
to pacify Dollie for the loss Of her APP
pie, but we succeeded at last, and got
her to sleep lying across our knees.
My wife laid her tired and aching head
back against the window shade and
closed her eyes. while once moro COM
menced reading the paper. And what
do you think the authorized train
butcher did?"
Something pleasant, no doubt
Game along and chucked q two
pound railway guide down upon her
stomach, and nearly drove the wind out
Of her body. Ye. gods! how would
like job doctoring that boy and the
Superintendent of the railroad !"-De-
trOit Free Press.