The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1884-10-23
WIT AND HUhroTs.

& : .
When you go fishing go where tbs
mosquitoes are the thickest You'll
never be troubled to get bite.
Called Back" is the title of new
moloslrama. 1t is probably a SEQUEL to
"Forgot to pay for his drink"
A Montana girl has been kidnapped
by bear. She probably got ono 6ug
from the animal and followed It of.
A Burlington girl has diary devoted
entirely to noting down the visits OF her
beaux. She calls 1t her court docket.
AS they passed q gentleman whose
optics were terribly on tho bias, little
Dot !nurmured: ma, he's got one eye
that don't CO." ~
Vassar College girls are not allowed
to receive calls from men, but we be-
HeVe there is no objection made to wo-
men, children and dudes.
'The pootiest woman in all Boston,"
said Micky Muldoon on his return from
tho Hu b to his home in Kensington,
"ives in Philadelphia.
The fly to be almost invariably found
in the restaurant bowl of turtle SOUP ia
not supposed to havo been placed there
rs seasoning by tho cook. but to be q
genuine case of accidental drowning.
AT great heights, Pcrxlar Science
Mom'htV says. dogs lose their power of
barking. 1t is fine scheme then. to
keep your dog in the garret, or tic him
up to the swaying limb of O tall and
lonely tree.
'Did you water the whisky In that
barrel of common yet this morninpP"
asked tho grocery man Of his boy. :'No
sir; put buckctful in it Saturday"
"Oh, well, that's all evaporated by this
time. Put in another buckctful."
"No, she is not what you would call
II pretty girl, said young man to his
companion, 'but she is beautiful to mo
because she has a lovely soul" II
never thought to look at her feet" said
the other. Perhaps you are right"
1t is said that an applicant for the
vacancy in the state board of fish com.
missioncrs based his qualifications for
tho position on the fact that he sold
| salt mackcrcl and Goldfish for fifteen
years. Ho was certainly more familiar
with the duties of the office than tho
average member of board of fish
commissioners. and should have been
appointed by tho governor.
Big feet arc now tho proper caper
and Tho larger man or woman's feet
arc tho moro fashionable they arc.
Looking retlectively at ours as they re-
pose in all their native grandeur up on
top OF tho desk, we arc satisfied that
Wo will never be compelled to pad them
out TO make them conform to the rules
OF fashion. Wo will be able to lead tho
giddy throng in this y.-Evansviilc
ArguS.
"Wifc and quarrel awfully" said
burlington man confidentially to "
friend. II am very sorry" was tho
reply. 'Now my wife and have been
married eight years and not a single
unpleasant word has passed between
us. - How can that be possiblep" was
tho astonished exclamation. "Oh, my
wife lives with her fathers folks in
San Francisco. "---Bultngton Free
Press.
81 hear you intend to send your two
sons to collegcP' said Alpha to Omega.
"Yos,' replied Omega; II have en-
tered them ut X college," why,
gracious MANI almost shrieked Alpha:
you might as well throw your money
away! Y college is only fourth
class institution. 1t has never won o
boat race in the whole course of its OK
'tence. and cannot boast of q base
ball nincr'
Thecbaw. King of Burmah, became
seized with all Irresistible impulse, the
other day, TO marry. The fact that his
wife was living didn't prove much of
an obstacle in the way of tho fulfill
mont of his desires. He poisoned the
Queen and her mother and married the
Queens sister. He said said that was
cheaper than q Chicago divorce, and
doesn't leave him with q mother-in-
law on his hands to foment trouble.
How his new wife must love him!--
N0rrfSto,On Herald.
= Tho Medical Summary recommends
the external application of buttermilk
to LADIES' who are marred with freck1es.
Thore is woman In this city who
would require about fourteen churn-
ings day for about forty years for the
successful removal Of the freckles on
her person. Sho is so freckled shat a
man who found her gathering black
berries shot at her, believing her to be
an escaped leopard, but the bullet
struck modest little freckle ON her
nose and glanced of, killing u COW in
II neighboring pasture. Boston Courier.
Jim Kee, a Philadelphia washerrnan.
put in q tough yoar of it with an Irish
bride, Bridget McNulty by namo. Then
she fled from him, after rolling up dry
goods bills aggregating 40 cents. Jim
hoo hasn't taken to whiskey, or done
anything equally rash, but he has In.
serted notice in the papers that his
wife must not be trusted on his ac.
count, adding. in foot-noto, the re-
quest that all who see the Same will
have their shirts washed at 1l17 Ridge
avenue; Thus does. the moon.eyed
Monlgolian improve on the methods OF
the naughty Caucasia n. - Buffalo Er-
press. =. =, " ~
On Sunday afternoon the storm RACED
furiously and heavens artillery dashed
often to the CONSERVATION Of many o
woman. After the storm had CEASED
Arcy Roberts. colored, went to tho
stable to feed his mule He saw the
mule standing on Its fore, feet and rest.
ing on its launches. as If in the act of
nd Z.