Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1884-12-12
AN ECCENTRIC JUDGE.
The Extra-Judicial Harangue OF
Judge McCoWn.
How an Arkaassg Judge Got Even with =
Negligent Municipal oniesr and with
- swamp Lawyer who Expressed His
Dissent from HE Ruliags-


lDpie Il. hetsds ia n 4 NtEcQfy-1
Judge Necown, one Of the ablest scar
pet-laggers" who came 10 Arkansaw and
assisted ia the experimental work OF ''re-
construction" !" was iii many respects re-
markable man. lie had distinguished him.
self at college; had taken first prize fer an
essay on 'sThe Origin OF Common Law"
and. not inconsistent with such achieve
ments. bad acquired an appetite for tse
most potent drinks TO be found Ia the
neighborhood. Shortly after his arrival ia
Arkansaw he was elected, by the hurried
method which then prevailed, TO the ofiire
sof circuit Judge. His decisions were polite
al rather than legal, but he was man Of
such unexpected epigram, such quaint cog
ceits and such peculiar humor, that his
rulings, instead of giving oifense, often
created amusement.
One morning, while Court was in session
at Camden, he entered the room covered
with mud and dripping with water. Taking
his seat on the bench with violence rather
than with dignity, he opened court, and
when everyone had become quiet, he turned
To the clerk and said:
s.Mr Clerk enter fine Of five hundred
dollars against the Mayor of Camden.
This morning the Court ate his breakfast
as usual-soda water and soft boiled egg
and started toward this place with a
view of discharging his accustomed duties.
He had proceeded but short distance
when board, comprising a treacherous
part of the disgraceful sidewalk, few up,
and struck the Court in the countenance,
knocked him down, and still not satisfied,
wallowed him in the mud. The law of
humanity demands that the Mayor should
7 have had good sidewalks put down, and
the ignorance of the law will not free him
from blame. Enter fine of five hundred
/ dollars, Mr.. Clerk"
"Your Honor" said the City Attorney,
who happened to be present; II do not
think that the Mayor is amenable to the
law of humanity, as you term it. He had
doubtless taken no cognizance of the loose
board.v
''Mr. Clerk" said the Judge, ''enter a
fine of seventy five dollars against the
City Attorney for not thinking that the
Mayor had not taken cognizance, and also
an additional fine of one hundred dollars
against the Mayor for not taking cogni-
zance."
Il protest against thls," exclaimed the
i attorney.
50 Mr.. Clerk, enter fine of fifty dollars
against the City Attorney for protesting
This Court wishes to say he is tired being
slapped by boards and bull-ragged by
swamp lawyers. This Court has been IL
the State of Arkansaw nearly one year
and as yet has failed to see a sober day
'Why is this?' ask the freckled-faced sons
of ham-strung civilization. This Court
would modestly reply that it is on accoun
of hurriedly made whisky. The American
people do not take time enough in tn
preparation of their liquor"
"That amt the trouble, Jedge," ex
claimed an old squatter who had been ar
rested for selling whisky without a Ii.
cense.
What is the trouble, sir?"
"W'y, sab, the 'Merican folks drinks tn
whisky fore it has time to git cool"
Mr.. Clerk, credit this man wish fift.
dollars for making a sensible remark. Now
sir" turning to the squatter; ''you can 6
home. This country has no right to i'm
prison a man who has correctly estimates
the evils of great social principle"