The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-03-26
How They Came to Let Dude stayin Texas


How They Came to Let a Dude Stayin Texas
Talk about yer doods," said a
Texas stockman on the Chicago, Bur
lington and Quincy train last night, IA
little the doodest dood / ever seen was
a Teller that come down from Boston in
to.our kentry year ago las Septem-
ber."
"1Ie didn't stay in Texas long,
guess" said little man in silk hat.
"Yaas, he's there now"
81 thought they wouldn't let dude
live in Texas?"
"Waal, I'll tell you how it wuz we
come to let him stay. lie come down
there with his peeked boots an his tight
trousers an yallar kid gloves, a slingin'
more style than new Congressman on
the Fo'th o. July, an a-tellin' folks that
his doctor said he'd got the consumption
an ID have to live in warm climate"
An, yes, of course, You pitied the
poor fellow and let him stay ON that ac-
COUNT
Not exactly that, but as was assay
in. he slung his style like a Mormon
walkin' by United States Marshal's
office. WAL, one night he came into n
saloon where lot of us wus a-drinking,
an steps up to the bar an says, 'Aw-I
say, bah tendah, give me trihe of aw
VAIN Lemonade Bill Jackson snorted
right out. an then, says e, Boys, what
dye say? Les make the dood drink
GIN Ii wuz go, so Bill walks up and
slaps the dood on the back, like he'd
break i'm in two. Bill's the best man on
the muscle In our whole kentry. Say
says Bill, you'd better drink GIN 'Aw.
but it is VAIN lemonade desiah,' saws
the dood. WAL says Bill, warm lem
onade don't go in these ere parts; you
drinks gin or you drinks nuthin you
hear me ? 'lt-aw-seems to me you're
mistaken, says the dood, without semin'
to see there wuz trouble ahead: Il want to
--aw-dwink VAIN lemonade an he
reached out fur the glass. Bill wunk to
the rest of us and says to the dood:
Dye know what I'm a-goin' to do eff
You tries to drink anything but gin?'
WEAKLY, | do not. nah deah boy
'Weel, says Bill. I'm a-goin' to stand
You on yer head in that air box o. saw
dust 'Aw--that would not be wight
says the dood, a tipping up his glass to
drink Bill reached ont an grabbed i'm
BY the neck, an never seen man git
h'htu 81 uultk.
"Bill was too much for him, was he?"
mo, stree; il WIZ 'tother way. Ii
wuz Bill that got licked. Jerusalem and
Gin'ral Jackson, but how that dood did
Jump about An every time he jumped
he fetched Bill one on the eye er under
the ear er along the jaw, an Bill couldn't
get within gunshot NV i'm Why, tibet
air dood he'd more tricks fur lightin'
than Bill ever drempt up. Furst, he'd be
behind Bill, an then on top NV him, an
then under him, an every time Bill
opened an eye the dood stuck fist in it
cry fist, it didn't make no difference to
him. He WIZ just about es handy with
ms thumpers es any man needs TO be in
this world. 1t didn't take him more'n n
minute togo all around Bill, an over i'm.
an through i'm in the bargain; an then
when he had Bill pretty well licked, he
took him the allfiredest crack on the
nose an sent i'm over in the corner be-
hind the ice-box like bundle o. old
clo'es."
"What did he do then?''
"Why, he jest turned aroun' an
brushed the sawdust off his knee where
he ducked down to come up under Bill,
an, says he, Gentlemen, will YOU all ioin
me-aw-in VAIN lemonade?' An we
jined i'm, too, quick
"1es, he's there yet; an guess he can
stay unless the consumption gets away
with i'm. There hain't nothing else
down there that kin do it, that's sure"
Il Chicago News.