Delaware gazette and state journal., 1884-01-17

|
And the busy plumber plumhs,
And the chewing-gummer gums.
And the banlo-strummer strums;
The hummer,
The plumber,
The GUNNER,
And strummer,
Make glum winter GUNNER;
Good Lord send us summeri
They were returning home from the
theatre, and had nearly reached her
'Isn't the weather cold and raw 2" She
must have misunderstood him. Raw"
she said, hesi,stingly. "Yes, like them
raw, but" she continued, looking weetly
in his eyes, don't you think they are
nicer fried ?" What could he do p
Chicago Saturday Herald.
Jump on the SCALE" the butcher said
Unto a mis- one day,
81 N used to weighing, and,' said he
"l'll tell you what you weigh"
"Ah, yes" came quick the sweet reply
From lips seemed made To kiss
I'm sure, sir that it would not be
First time you've weighed amiss'"
The butcher hushed he hung his head
And knew not what to say
He merely wished to weigh the girl
Horton Transcript
In recent article on Carlyle, Gail
Hamilton writes, "forever and forever
the bed hugs OF his household will crawl
over the pages cf Carlyle's history to de-
fame and defle," The disclosure of the
fact that there We're bed bugs in Carlyle's
houaehold will lessen the resentment OF
those who believe that his manner
toward Mr.. Carlyle was often marked by
too much asperity .-BrOOkiyn Eagle.
what are you crying about ?" asked
a kind hearted stranger TO lad who
was standing in front oil newspaper
| office weeping as II his heart would
break. "0h, dads gone up stairs to
lick the editor "Well, has he come
down yet ?" pursued the gentle Samsri
tan. "Peces Of him have" explained
the boy, indulging in fresh outburst Of
tears, "snd Pm expecting the rest every
minute"
"Be you reporter i' asked Cape
Cod man of Globe scribe whom he saw
writing in book at the Old Colony
depot. "Yes," was the reply. swell,
I've Just had narrow escape. Just
before got here chap came through
the car with ring filled with cbecks and
wanted 80 cents in advance to deliver
my baggage anywhere here, but he didn't
|
these confidencs chaps. | reads the
papers, do."-BOston Globe.
"Well, 4 declare, Chswles," said Fort
Wayne dude to bank clerk, ''wha,
makes you look 80 down in the mouth
that" "Is it, indeed; tell it to me-
that's a desh fellow. Ease your mind
"Why, you see, my boy, few weeks g
| 8, lal
Z me 80 artlessly what the size OF my
shoes were.' "Yes-yOu told her mum
! ber eight, of course" "No, lied to he
aud said number six " ''Well, what o
III" "Why, confouad it, the slipper
are just that much too email. ."-2h
g IfooSIer.
A day or two ago the little chatteIb),
in one of the most elegant homes il
Schenectady rushed into the parlor wher
his parents were sitting, with a face
a fused with glainess, aud his little hand
clsppiDg in childish glee. We ars goin
> 10 have the tiremen come to our house,
he cried in the fullress of his innocen
Joy When asked how he knew the
:. would come, he said he had built fir
up stairs under the bed. So indeed h
had, and it was with the greatest diff
Guilty it was extinguished before it WA
4 necessary to call the fire department t
o the scene.
g Aitemus Wards description Of why h
2 courted Betsy jane "There were msn
/ afIsetin' ties which made me banker atte
Il Bstsy Jaue. Her father's farm jne
# ourn their cows aud ourn squelche
d their thirst at the same spring til
II measles broke ont in both families q
/, nearly the same time; our parents (Bsts
. Jane's ard mine) slept regularly ever
l. Sunday in the same peetiu' house, an
l. the psiehboIs used to observe: 'Ho'
o thick the Wards aud Pessieys air
d was q sublime sight in the spripg of th
d year to see our several mothers (Betsy
and miue) with their gowns pinneti nj
n so that they couldn't sle 'em, afauh
IT tionstsly bilin' soap together aud aboosiI
% their neighhors "
2 A young lady reader OF the Derrick pr
u into operation our leap year suggestion
- Having got into conversation with a gel
- tlemsD on whom she had long had h,
y eye, the following dialogue ensued sd
d you like home made bread f'' "Yes, WI
r the reply &" Then" said the girl, ~ ca
, bake" my angel l'' replied the gentl
a men, ,encirlins her i'll his arms and imprin
8 ing sixteen Harriott avenue kisses on HI
ls rosebud mouth, "you are the girl hs,
been looking for. When shall our happ
NJ ness be completed ?" So" replied IL
Is lady this is leap year you must nau
Id the day. "Well," said he, 81 a
~ ~ OPT osed to long engagements We wi
rs wed. as soon as the Washington MOnI
st ment is completed. ."-OH City Derrick,
- ,,f+.,ur u rnSpuSgroN
Who is that little woman there,
N With laughing eyes and dark-brown hair,
- And physiOgnomy so fair ?
Ny wife
N Who's not as meek as she appears
w. And doesn't believe onehalf she hears,
u And toward me entertains no fears
My consort
Who wakes me up on evory morning,
an About the time the day is dawning,
Al My protestations calmly scorning ?
Ny spouse.
I'd Who marks my clothes with India ink,
While sit by and smoke and think
My frau.
r. Who asks me every day for money,
With cOuntenance demure and funny,
Mt And calls me pretty boy and "honeyF"
- My little woman.
lr Who runs this house both night and day,
,ly Ana over all excrts her sway;
~ Who's boss o. this shanty, anyway?
o" My better half.
ee San francisco CAL
."I move,,' said DELEGATE in a Virginia co