The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-11-03

best Republican President the country hez ever
he'd" in the scene repisentn Hendrix in the akt
of maxim a speech to the people of Greencastle,
Injiany, Oct %, 1884
Everybody sed about this youth, ''He is the
ideal Hendrix secure him" | wish | he'd secured
him-with chain, before arrivn at Tuskaloosy
We were billed there for a certain mite, but
failed to arrive OWN to my traj edian, who repi-
sents Ben Butler hevin' little transaction in
eggs with some hawty Southerners from New
Orleans, who lowed any man who resemoled
Ben commits sackrilege by crossing Mason &
Dixie's line.
All the members of the traiedy got of to
reskoo Ben but Hendrix, who was lyin' slitely in
toxicated in the seepin car; consequently
whereas all the rest missed the train, Hendrix
arrived safe at Tuskaloosy. After arrivin' there
and rubin his eyes, what did the befuddled
idgit do but resolve to play the hull dramy him
self. Gatherin' all the costooms together, he
went to the theater repeatin softly to hisself all
the timer
For what am I lghtnin change artist
lie then directed the stage manajer to ring up
the curtlng and go on with the dramy. The
mizzable man had the costooms of every Charlie
tur IN the play arranged on chairs in the wings
by the stage.
He would grab up an artifshul halo and pair
of wings, and come out an recite Henry Ward
Beechers part:
Grover Cleveland is ben as innosent as I
am He has never seen the elephant lin Al
oany) hurl, in the teeth of his accusers the
fakt that the vile affair which he has not
denied, was committed in Buffalo, and not in
Albany. Cheers How can a man be held
guilty for what does not occur in Albany
That's so. Does not every intelligent man
know that mans body is worn out every seven
years! How then can the present Grover Cleve
land be held akkountable for axis committed
seven years ago and in Buffalo, besdesl Let us
elect Grover Cleveland, as a horrible example, to
the youth of the country, of the evils of impur-
ity."
"a dollar day is enough for the workin'
men. Let them have bread and water for
breakfast, good white bread and fresh water for
dinner, and for healthful change, a temperate
supper of bread and water" ETC.
Then this retchid lightnin change artist would
rush behind the stage, shove pillows into his
weskit, put on the artifshal thick neck | use in
portrayin' the role of Cleveland, and rush back
onto the stage to recite Cleveland's part.
Turn back the universe and give me Ohio,
The soil remains in its place waitin to be
titled" THE presidential Office is purely eX-
eeutive." Il hev been innosent, lin Albany I
hev been pure and virchewous, lin Albany and
the affair hev not denied did not happen
Tin Albany.')
Then hastily putin on a pair of patent leath-
er slippers and tight pants he would come out as
Geo: Wilyun Curtis and say his lines.
I'VE are confronted by the Demokratik party
very hungry and thirsty, without definite
principale or distinct nashunal policy; which
fell from power as a conspiracy against human
power conspiracy for plumber and spoils
therefore. every principal of morality and moral
purity demands the defeat of James g. Blaine
and the eleckshun of Grover Cleveland the Pure,
and the Demokratic party"
Comm out as Carl Shirts, the greatest Per
litical Chameleon EARTH he did the windmill
maskerade akt. in which Carl appears dresst as
windmill and changes his polytix five times in
fifteen minits.
AS Hendrix, he put on wig of fierce dishev-
eled hair, and with wildly rollin eyes shriekt;
Give us a chance! Gimme asight O the books
Gimme your votes Who sed l wuz an Office
seekerY Get.
The wretehid and skur1ious man never
stopped Until he had appeared as every charictur
in the trajedy, even burnin' blue lites in front
of hisself while appearin' as the Solid South
walkin' into the capital, arm in-arm with Cleve
land and Hendrix, & playin' pieces onto the
accordion between axis of the trajedy.
When he reached the Sd akt, there wuz not a
dry eye in the house-or any other kind of an
eye for that matter-except l. who arrived in
time to see the last part of the dissustin' ex-
hibishun of the highest handedest skurrillity Of
intelleek ever witnessed on the American con
tinent.
n. B. I hev just added a thrilin tablow
shown Senator Voorhees, in the akt of ''thankin
God for Clevelandis thick neck"