Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-10-02

had then and nobody has now had substitu-
ted an egg. Something attracted her to
the window, and as she laid the stocking,
with it's egg enclosure, on the same white
covered arm chair that waste come near be-
ing death bed for his first daughter, Silver
skin came in, and before she knew it, plumpt
down on the egg, defiling his linen pants
and the spotless cover Of the chair, and the
egg not being fresh, an aroma worse than
musk foated through the room, and all he
said was
"Curse the egg! nobody but fool would
have put it there for him to set on. Did
they suppose he wanted to set on eggs like
a hen, and spoilt ones at that?"
Another time when Dunstable bonnets
had Just come into fashion, Mrs. S. bought
one. 1t did not look like any ofthe odd little
coverings ladies mount on their heads now,
but it had small peaked crown and front
half yard long, which only reached the top
of the ear, and was nice for people who had
small ears, and handsome earrings. 1t was
sent home Saturday afternoon, and was
pronounced one of Mrs. Hefferman's best
efforts, and she was the most fashionable
milliner here then. 1t had beautiful
large bow of pink ribbon on the peak of the
crown, and big bunch Of red hollyhocks
and white roses, standing up in front Sun
flowers were not used then. They were
considered too coarse and gaudy to be
allowed place even in garden. The
bonnet was, as Mrs. Silverskin said, "per-
fectly lovely and she would wouldn't miss
church tomorrow for anything" a person
who has never experienced it, can form no
idea of the thrill of delight that pervades
the soul of woman when she receives a
new and becoming bonnet. 1t is indescrib-
able eXtasy. The owner tenderly deposited
her acquisition on the lounge, while she
stepped to the front door to stop a passing
friend to whom she wished to exhibit her
treasure. Silverskin entered the room, and
of course couldn't the bonnet, orfind any
place but the sofa to rest upon, SO down
he "plumpt" upon the elegant Dunstable,
and its glory departed forever. For once
poor Mrs. Silverskin was compelled to "let
on" When she came in and beheld that
mass of human flesh occupying the spot
which her trearure had so lately Orna-
mented, her agony amounted almost to
phrensy. She screamed aloud, clasped her
hands, and burst into tears, while Silverskin,
looking like sanctified sheep, enquired-
"What, in thunder is the matter? Is the
house on fire ? Has it been robbed and all
of you murdered? Or have you got the
cramp collie that you're making such he'll
| libelloo ?''
"Oh worse, worse, worse, cried the de-
|
my splendid Dunstable is ruined"
"Where is it 2" cnquired the seemingly
unconscious cause of the excitement, slowly
raising his three hundred pounds of flesh
| from the sofa.
'Here here !" screamed the frantic wo.
man, pouncing upon and raising the crushed
remains of the once magnificent structure
under which she had hoped to utter her
prayers on the morrow, and enjoy the bliss.
full knowledge Of the envy which would be
consuming the hearts Of certain people when
they saw it.
'This !" exclaimed the dignifed demol-
isher, with look ofsupreme contempt, and
taking the shapeless article between his fin
ger and thumb, "Do you call his thing a
bonnet ?' And dropping it on the floor, he
marched out of the room, slammng the door
behind him, after the fashion Of man on
whom some one had attempted to pass a
gross imposition. Nor did lie ever allude
to the affairagain.
How often Mrs. S. did in her heart was
known only to herself; and how often she
''let on" about it, was known to many SYM
pathiZing friends. One thing is certain, she
had the pick of Mrs. Heffernan's Dunstables
the following week, and she picked the cost
liest one she could find.
The friend who was a witness to this trag-
ical occurrence, had tact enough to restrain
manifestation Of her feelings then, beyond
an emphatic, "Well !" and a rapid work
ing of her fingers as though she longed to
hear something, and a hasty departure. 1t
was said that always after that occurrence,
if the least thing gave her an opportunity,
she would say to herliege lord =
"You're trying to come old Silverskin
over me, are you ?" And she always con-
vinced him that such a trial would result
unpleasantly for him.
Mrs. S. was good woman, but she had
some peculiarities of her own, which bor-
dered on the ridiculous, and gave her amia-
BILE spouse many an opportunity, of ventlla-
| ting his SarcaSmS, and he never let one pass
unimproved. She had habit of talking to
| inanimate objects. She would say, "NOW,
tongs, fall down and wake the baby !"
'NOW kettle, turn over and scald some
body !" "NoW, lamp, go out as fast as :!
light you ~ "Now, scissors, get lostagain." )"
She would order people to do the very
thing she didn't want done. She would say
to her little three-year-od:
fall down them steps and hurt yourself and
squall for an hour" and the much named
child usually accomplished the third re-
quirement whether he succeeded in the
second or not. On these occasions her hus-
band took infinite pleasure in showing her
up. Her health was remarkably good, but
she had taken a notion that it was delicate,
and did not like anyone to think otherwise.
There was always something she couid
not Stdnd-somethng that would be the
death Of her.
81 cannot stand it! she exclaimed one
evening. "Those pictures must come down.
They will be the death Of me! pve had a
dozen calls to-day, and every individual has
asked whose portraits they are, and looked
surprised and incredulOus when | declared
that did not even know their names, and
sister Pilsbury and sister Jones, both made
great miration, and one of them said'-
"It looks mighty strange, your having
pictures Of strange men no kin to you, and
that you know nothing about, hanging up
in your house. How do you know but what
they are thieves, robbers, pirates, murder.
ers or hung men, or some other dreadful
creturs?"
"And sure enough, how do know? |
! If I'Ve had to answer one question about
them abominable things, have five thou
sand"
'Say five hundred my suffering dear, and
speak within bounds"
"Well five hundred then, and that's
enough to wear a woman out"
"Not you, my love, (Silverskin always
used term of endearment when address
ing anything sarcastic to his wife, and the
more singing the sarcasm, the more at-
tectionate the epitheD not yOu dearest, no
amount of talking would Craze you."
Now this remark had double sting.
The lady did not like to be called talkative
and often assured her friends that she was
more imposed upon than anyone else, be-
cause she could never speak up for herself;
| and as for q constitution every BODY knew