Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1884-11-29

A STRIPED BASS THAT is ONE OF THE
WONDERS OF THE WORLD.

Il seen an item In one OF the pa
pers about a dog down in Georgia
that stole nickel and bought some
meat. like stories about animals,
because ! have some sagacions ami
mails myself. Did you ever hear
about that striped bass Of mine? /
got him two years ago, up in Penn
sylvania. He is the most saeacious
cuss in the world
Don't think know him, replied
the city editor, to whom the qncs-
ton was addressed. Is he partic-
ularly smart?''
"He done a thing recently that
made some talk in our neighhorhood.
We had company for supper one
night, and the eat stole the meat
off the stove. What do YOU sup
pose that fish did, He just Topped
out of his tub and crawled into that
pan, and began to cook himself He
didn't propose to have anybody to
go away from my house hungry. My
wife snatched him out Of the pan
and slung him back into the water.
Ten minutes after she found him try
ing to scale himself with piece of
tin. Fact. And she had to send
for some more meat before he'd let
up. He's a knowing one, that bass.
A couple of weeks ago he had row
with the servant girl. 1t was her
place to feed him with spiders, and
she forgot him for two days. He
didn't say much, but the third day
he began to rear around and tear
things. How do you think he got
even with that girl?"
Haven't the remotest idea," said
the city editor.
"Why, he just went and hid some
spoons in her trunk We missed
'em, searched her room, and dschar-
ged her without character. The
way we found it out was his trying
to play the same dodge on my wife,
for not letting him sleep in the tea
kettle during the cold snap. 1t
takes the whole family to get ahead
of that fish. Yesterday the water
froze stiff in his tub, and he put up
a danger signal and was skating
around it on his tail, and was trying
to fall in, when we found him. !
broke the ice for him, and that night
he sent me bill for SlS, because the
sudden thaw had reduced his stock
and he felt that he must raise the
price. / gave dollar for him, and
cheap he was.
CAS- should say" conceded the
city editor.
"He's remarkable bass. One
night, not long ago, / heard the
derndest row you ever seen. Went
down stairs, and there he was, sit
ting on the side Of tub, and class
Of cockroaches was reading +: 1T is a
man. Who is the man? Has he a
boil on his chin? He has two boils
on his chin. What shall the man
doY Shall he wipe off his chin? The
man shall wipe off his chin That
fish had got hard up and started a
night. school, and was making $40 q
month. OF course / had to bust
that--couldn't stand the noise.
Would you like to publish some
thing about him? His name is Abel
hard and Heloise."
What do you call him that for"
"'Cause he likes it, and cause he
all brains and affection. When !
was sick month ago, he took my
medicine for me, and when my son
frozc his ear, that fish went around
with his head bandaged up, just out
Of sympathy. We made him nice
Christmas present, now, you bet"
"What was it ~ inquired the city
editor.
"a rat-trap."
what does he do with rat-trap?'
HE sets it and plays mouse
He'll dart into the trap and holle1