The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-11-09
WHIMSICALITTES,

WHIMSICALITIES.
The melancholy days have come,
TITS colder than the tomb,
For politics no longer hum
And boomlets to boom
Some women easily won with smiles,
. While others with tears.
DQ I1i 70 win glri without putting on style
VIII require about thirteen years
-Churubusco People.
Now doth the stylish woman feel
Cold chills run down her back,
And straightway runneth she in haste
10 get her seaskn saeque.
Cincinnati Merchant Traveller.
Doctor-iWell, how are we to-dayq" Patient
On, I've had miserable day, doctorR" Doctor
But your wife says you haven't groaned at all
TO day, while yesterday" Patient - Good
reason Thought there wasn't anybody round.
That woman is always taking an unfair advant-
age OF me."-Boston Transcript
What He Called Soup.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
''T-talk bout e-eatin' an ddrinkin' s'nuch as
ye please" said Wabash valley Hoosier, Eyer
t-terrepin an yer b-beefsteaks, an yer s-soft
shell c-crabs, an yer champagne, an all them
sort of things, but if yer w-want to see genooine
n-nourishment, jest range NINE long side O. six
teen o-ounces of Southern Inianny w-whisky an
bout twenty-eight g-grains o quinine. That's
what call soup"
On the Car.
Texas siftings.
you've got my seat sir" said a man on a
Texas railroad who had left his seat for a mo-
ment
There is nothing to show that you have re-
tanned this seat"
Look up there! There is my hat-boX ON the
rack right over this seat"
We'll then, you sit up there on your hat bog,
II that's where you have retained your seat"
"
he .TuvaufIa's CoDuodr,,f,,
Atlanta Constitution.
why am old Aunt Ann like neighbor Par
sons dorgl" asked little black Pete, as he tum-
bled into his old fathers presence.
Can't tole yer, honey" replied the delighted
father, as he stroked the knotted kinks on the
child's head. ''Why am it. sonny2"
Parsons pup is black and tan, haint It'll"
'Yaas, in course it be, replied the old man.
"Well hain't she black Aunt Ann, too27 and
the youpgster turned two handsprings, and
lighted on the front sidewalk
Blonde or Brunette.
Philadelphia Call
Beautiful Blonde-''Well, dear, it is your turn
now. This paper says that brunetts will be the
most popular this season"
Beautiful Brunette-"That is nothing IN
usual. You blondes have things your own way
during the summer, but every fall there is u
revulsion in favor of brunettes."
Beautiful Bonde-''Yes, have noticed that
wonder why it is|
Beautiful Brunette-"Cold weather docs not
redden brunette's nose"
Wants His Wife Supported.
Chicago News.
"Good morning sir. I called to see if YOU
would support my wife"
'I2 Your wife? What do you mean, sir Ia
this some villainous matchmaking schemel'
mo, sir; but my wife stands very much ia
need"
And you, you lazy lout-why don't you srP-
ply her needsi Why do you come to rne--ss,s
with wife and family of my own to support
But you don't understand me- | waIt I
to support my wife at the polls. Tn Mr.. L'ial-
wood"
Questions in the Catechisga.
Harper's Bazaar.
The rector was paying visit to the Suudsr-
school, pausing there to make suggestion il ~
to ask question.
Eddie, do you know your catechism WEI -
asked of little fellow in the infant class
"Gess So"
We'll, let's see. Who made your
Cod
Very good. Now, who was the first ufSsi7'
Don't know aud then after pause, W :
look of innocent self-satisfacton, but lnan -
says you're the handsomest man in town"
-=n----
Better Marry Scientific Wife.
New York Mail and Express.
James you wretch! how did that hair ct en-
your coat2 It's a red one, too! Tell me nowf'
''Soothe yourself, my love, soothe yourself
suppose 1t got on in the street car-caught On ~
| leaned back, you know"
''But how did it get on the breast of your ecrstl
Oh, dearl It couldn't go in front from the ha.k
of the seat
''Pshawl That comes from not having any
scientific information. Don't you know that
Capillary attraction, my dear, capillary attrae-
ton"