Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-12-26

family returned from the Adirondacks
to their cheerful home 10 O little sub
urban village. Having opened the
house the next thing ON the programme
was to secure . servant. So the horse
was hitched and Mrs. Hem drove 70
the nearest intelligence Office and en-
gagged q woman, who said she would
be 1t the house ready for action ON the
morrow.
But when the morrow arrived. and
the sun streamed through the oriels Of
the HEM m insion. and lighted up the
flowers on the carpet till they actually
seemed to enjoy it. and the birds twit-
tered in the porch vines that were rus
tiing in the morning breeze-at this 10
cund time the Henns concluded with
the great philosopher that the promise
of the professional servant Is as brittle
as pie-crust.
In other words, the servant was not
on hand ready for action, as she said
she would be. So Mrs. Hem ordered
White Surrey to be village -carted. And
when Mrs. Hem had been gone about
tive minutes to "blow up" the intelli-
gence office the door bell rang. There
was no one In the house at the time but
Mr.. Hem, and he opened the front
door TO a woman of perhaps forty-tive.
els Mrs. HEM imp" inquired the
woman.
"No." said Mr.. HEM. care you the
servant we engaged?"
"Yes."
didn't you meet her in the cart
down the road?"
NO" replied the woman; 81 came
across the lots"
She followed Mr. Hem into the study
and helped herself to the easy chair in
a free and easy manner that satisfied
the proprietor Of the house that all the
stories he had heard about the indie.
pendence of servants were in no way
exaggerated. As she sat there making
her self as comfortable as possible, MIR.
HEM thought he would give her some
advice and instru tons. He said:
''YOu of course are familiar with the
figure OF the cat in q strange garret.
fOu know the cat is restless and uneasy.
1t is the same with men and women.
Until they become used to a place and
its peculiarities they seldom reach
what may term their maximum state
OF happiness. Therefore shall try To
famihari1e you with this place by tel
ling yOa of some of its pc ,uliariLies.
81 would like 10 touch on the sub 'ect
OF kero,ene. The girl before last
crowned upon all adverse criticism on
kerosene as kinder. I will simply
say that one rosy morning she went in
TO the kitchen full of song and happi-
ness, aud attempted to iguite the
wood and paper that she had first satu-
rated with kero 7enc. One week from
that day we had O chimney set in the
hole she left as she went through the
roof. That was the last time she vas
seen around here. never heard where
she came down"
al never use kerosene In the fire."
said the girl.
That's right. replied Mr.. Hem; ..it
is only for our common safety that |
speak, and not that l am mean with
my ker0sene. Use As much of it as you
like for polishing up the brass. AMI al
leviating the pain of any bumps or
bruises you may &C !uire in the per
formance of your professional duties.
If your hair falls out use all the kero-
sene you ike"
She said she would. but that she
would not think of using it in the stove.
Then Mr.. Hem said:
''You must be very careful, when
playing on the pi mo. not to get hurt.
One of the legs of the chair is only
gl,;ed on, and it might throw you. Be.
sides, YOU must play on the lower oc-
taves, as several of the keys in the up
per ones are broken"
She promised to be careful.
"Neyer take the tennis racket ont of
the library to lift cabbage out of the
hot water with"
mo, SIR"
"Never use my best raznr-the one
with the pearl hndlc-to open oysters
with"
mo, SIR"
"When yon want to 60 to matinee
borrow my wife's green bonnet. She
would have that bonnet in spite of me
last Faster, and hate the sight of it.
some how or other it won't wear out. I
have allowed the dog to curl mp and
sleep in it during my wife's absence. !
have on other occasions left it out
in the hennery for the henI,t use
as a nest. had brood of ducks
hatched out in it last May, bnt the
bonnet wasn't hurt at all. Then in
August. while NV wife was in the
mountains. / nailed the hat on the end
of pole and used it for net when {
went Grabbing. But nothing would
mar. its architecture at all. will yoi
borrow that hat on any sunny Sat.
when you want to go to The mat. ?'
al will, sir" replied the servant
"How many days do yol want q
week?'
"rwo, SIR"
"You may have them; you NAV have
them And he felt happy that she
didn't ask for three. Then he sail:
"When any of the wash tubs are too
heavy for yoI. call on me for help.
And ON wash day we will do all the
cooking ourselves; and I'll chop the
wood Tor you and Ing up the coal, and
my wife's crimping-irOns are at your
service. Is that satisfactory"
Yes"
els the place cheerful enough for youP"
.'Yes; there il only one OBJ .ectiOn."
whats that:" q ,ked MIR. Hem.
THE church is not high enough, I'm
Ritualist"
"Then I n drive yon to Highville N.Y.
self. that you may attend st. Michael's :"
''Then I'll take the place"
"My carriage has red wheels have
you any o5. .eclions to red wheels?"
"NO."
"Then there is bat one thing more.
Whenever you begin to snore at night,
please get up and shut the door,"
II will"
"Then all Is fixed. Here comes nv
wife. She will give you any further
instructions that may be necessary"
The girl walked ont.
The moral OF this little story IS that
We hal better give in to the servant.
rs long as we need her more than she
needs uss and that will probably be just
IS long as we continus 10 keep house In
preference TO boarding.
The charter Of Atlanta, Ga. for
bids any person from holding the Office
| of Mayor for two consecutive terms.