The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-07

nred at the rate of 25 for cent
Anglomaniacs may not care much
for a royal cup of coffee. hut they are
fond OF royal-tea- Philadelphia CdH.
'Tve got my-lay-ria again" cackled
hon Ms she looked down on an egg in
tho nest she had just left. -MerchGH1
1raueler.
The cultured maiden from Boston
wrote to hor friend that she had just
been to hear Mr.. Joseph Emmett sing
."Pique-a bout"
Yes. boy may be a messenger boy
and sill possess lots of that sterling
quality called sand. But it is not
quicksand. Puck.
II always keep my weather rye
handy" as the man said when he ex-
posed the little black bottle in his
coat "-Mdrdthon Independent.
What does Good Friday meanP"
asked one Halsted street urchin of his
companion. You'd better GO home
and read your Robinson Crusoe, "
was the withering reply.
A person being asked what was
mcant by realities of life. answered:
''Roal estate. real money, and real
good dinner, none of which can be re-
allied without real hard work"
1t is computed that flash of light
ming lasts only one millionth part OF
second. This Is the same period of
time that is required by Louisville
editor TO accept an invitation to take n
drink.
"NIy. daughter, you ought to have
some aim ia life," said Burlington
sha,,-ltlooo old
20. am going to, papa" was the en-
thusiastic reply. Il have got my beau
alroadyr'
A conundrum friend asks: "What
10 the difference between Italy and -
boy who has penchant for shining
up trees9" As If we didn't know that
one Is a sunny cline and the other o
climb-y son!
A man out in Kentucky has found
that tobacco shortens human life. A
houshead of the weed fell on him and
crushed him out of existence. This
proves that tobacco. in large quantities.
Is very injurious.
What is the difference between q wo-
man who decks herself in many knots
of ribband, and one who patiently en-
dures misfortuneP One wears her
bows and the other bears her woes.
Yoakers Gazette.
A sporting journal says: Nothing
can well look worse than ono horse
dragging five or six people" Ii will
occur to some persons that one horse
dragging ten or dozen people would
look ''twice as worse.
A Frcnch chemist has discovered by
a process of incubation q preventive
ofhydrophobia. A Norristown man is
trying to secure some of the virus. He
says that everytime he goes home late
at night he finds his wife mad.
A Texas man has invented a ma
chine for washing dishes. If it doesn't
demand live nights q week out, no;
surrcptitiously borrow its mistress
best bonnet for an afternoon promen.
ade, the probabilities are that it will
be in demand.
''Are you familiar with BryantP
asked n young lady of timid young
man whom she was trying to draw
out ''Oh, yes" he replied proudly
Frightening up. II graduated at ont
Of his business colleges"
One thing to the credit of Kansa!
City is that she il the only city in thi.
country Of 100. 900 population that hai
no professional bis4- ball club Tn,
grown people Of this metropolis are to,
busy to sit In the sun and listen I,
eighteen men quarreling with an um
pire. .-KInsds CITY Journal.
Little Emma came running into tn
parlor. where her mother was enter
tanning young Mr.. Duder until Mis-
Mary could complete hrr toilet an
come down-s>Sirs. ,e,.d criod out: "Oh
mamma! Johnny is dot Mary's tee
and won't give 'em to her.
s.Doctor. want. to thank you TO
your great patent medicine. II
helped You. did it?'' asked the doctor
very much pleased. at helped m
wonderfully" "How many bottle
did you find 1t necessary to takeP'
'.Oh. 1 didn't take any of it. My uncl
took one bottle, and am his sol
heir. IN y Stn-
ssNo,'' said Mrs. Lookabout, 81
don't like to have my husband drink
.but then. you know. it's really neces
sary. Pray, how should have founi
out IL he didn't, that Mrs. Browning
husband spends half his time in
grogshop, or that Mr.. Tansy visit
.Julep's saloon three times day jus
as regular as the day comes roundP"-
Boston Transcript.
Ethel-..Ohi isn't it lovely. TIL
paper says that huge mastiffs are to b
the pet dogs for young ladies this seas
on" Eudora-''That's just too swee
for anything. Why, mastiffis almos
as big as n pony" Ethel--''Yes
won'tit be lovely? When dear Al
phonso gets tired promenading with m
by moonlight alone | can lift him u
and let him ride on the mastiff. "
A famous mollah ut Cabul havin,
declared tho use of tobacco to be con
tfary to the Mohammedan law, tn
.Amecr has submitted the question to
council of mollahs from all parts of tn
country. II their decision be agains
me indulgence in tobacco, its use il
Afghanistan will be prohibited. Th
Afghan tobacco-dealers ought to rails
purse and endeavor to mollahfy tina
mollah. Travellers Magazine
They were standing at the from
gate. '.How bright the moon is to
night George. dearr she said. '.Yes,
replied George, lit is perfect even
ing" '.Do you put any faith in MI
Wiggin's alleged discovery of anothe
moon-a dark moon?" she asked
'.Well. / hardly know what to thin
about the matter. Such a discover
may be possible. But l don't know
In fact . he continued, frankly, "yhe
! was at college l nevor paid any al
tention TO botany"
Early yesterday morning piece c
white paper futtered on the door of
Murray street paint shop, with the TO
lowing inscription: II have gone OF
for half an hour. win be back soor
Have boon gone twenty minutes a
ready Half an hour later the write
ran in out of breath and explained, a
he drew on pair of paint-smirche
overalls. that he expected a man in t
pay him some money and was afrai
he would not wait If he knew how lon
he would be 9onc.-M T. Ne,0S.
A young man and his girl who wer
in on an excursion the other day enter
ed an ice-cream parlor. ordered cream
and after it was brought waited so Ion
- Al. i L..