, 1884-08-08
THE HUMOR OF WOMEN.
It Comes Une1 peetediy. Like Light
ming from a Clear Sky. s1,d1
Examples OF Her Ready wit-Ths
Absolutely Non-Hamorous vxo-
fi0A man a scarea ArtieIe-An traife.
sl I'D no th~Aneedote. aarE roll I


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ir-2lf7 t9he cntic.l .irr ~ o. rUiI
A woman rarely tells an anecdote, orhomdI
up "A good story, or comes in and describes "a
you something funny that she has seen. He;
hamor is Ike a na-h OF lightning from a clear
sky, coining When you lcast expect IL, wher
IL could not have been premeditated. and
when 10 the average Consciousness there &
not the slightest provocation to humor, pos
sessing thus in tho very highest degrees that
element OF surprise which is not only q factor
in all hnmor, but TO our mind the most I'M
portant factor. o. aNN. INUfIl aII llrnuHn
You tell her that you cannot spend the
winter with her because you promised to
spend it with some one else, and she exclafms:
20 Elleni why were you not born twinsls
She has perhaps recently built for herself a
charming home, and coming to see yours,
which happens TO be Just a trihe more luxu-
rious and charming. she remarks as
she turns away All aItnean say is,
when you want to see squalor come and visit
me in Oxford street, She puts down her
heavy coffee cup Of stone china with its I'M
tasted coffee at a little country inn, saying,
with a sigh: Its, no use / can't get at it;
its like drinking over a stone wall She
writes IN q letter. 1--WE parted this morning
with mutual satisfaction; that is | suppose
we did; | know my satisfaction was mutual
enough for two llN T~EAAELIHE
She asks her little restless daughter in the
most insinnatinz tons II she would not Ike tc
sit in papa's lap and have him tell her u
story and when the little daughter responds
with a most uncompromislng Nor turns her
inducements to a threat and remarks with 50
verify; well, be a good. girl or you will
have tol' She complains, when you have
kept her waiting while you were buying un-
dersleeyes, that you must have bought aun-
dersleeves enough for q. centipede.n You
ask how poor Mr.. X. Is, the dis
consulate widower who a fortnight ago
was completely prostrated by his wife,s
death, and are told in calm and even tones
that he Il beginning to take notice" You
tell her thai one or the best fellows III the
class has been mjustly expelled, and that
the class are TO wear Grape on their left arms
for thirty days, and that you only hope thu
president will meet you in the college-yard
and ask you why you wear it; 10 all Of which
sho replies, soothingly. Il wouldn't do that,
Henry, for the president might tell you not
to mourn, as your friend Is not lost, only
gone before" You tell her Of your stunned
sensation on finding some of your literary
work complimented in The Nation, and she
exclaims: II should think sol 1t must be
like meeting an Indian. and seeing him put
his hands inte his no-pocket to draw out a
scented pocket handkerchief instead of a tom
ahAwk." Or she writes hat two Sunday
schools are trying to do all they can, but that
each Is determined at cny cost 10 do mors
good than the other. ID ~
Another exceptional woman was the
original OF hunt Jane I'm the story OF sMal-
bona Bret Harte always said that he first
thought OF coming TO the east when he heard
that there was a living original Of Aunt
Jane, and II Is very certain that he was not
disappointed when he made her acquaint-
ance. Who OF us that knew will ever forget
the hunor that illness could not conquer nor
suffering dull; the wit that only dared TO be
as funny as 1t could, but did not hesitate to
express its whitening sarcasm and nncom-
promising opinion in words Of which the ex-
aggerated harshness was the most entertain
ing element, until her very victims dissolved
before her in tears OF laughter 1t was wit
In every phrase; from the ridiculous 4Raint
/ shall 60 IL it rains little boysin TO the
delicate irony of Il never knew any harm TO
come from a villain; all the mischief In the
world Is brought about by lovable people,
or washing that came home with too much
bluing in II, she remarked that 1t had APP
parently been washed In heaven; and Of a
book which she had found very poor, that II
put into the fire, there was not n teakettle in
the land Insignificant enough TO boil over it.
Her rages were delicious, whether she an
nounced her evaporation at the "baseless
happiness" OF a maid with IA face whose
placidity suggested one Of Rogers & Poets
little wooden boys, or exclaimed, Hate hint
/ have sat up all night to hate himl" OF n
pretty woman she said once that her eyelashes
were Htoo dressy for breakfast" q fm
But Ne must base our claim for wonan's
sense OF humor, after all, on the average
woman, and it is precisely here that ! be
heve the claim 70 be strongest. Think over
the humorous men Of your acquaintance, and
you will find them almost without exception
To be men whosa humor is known In litera-
ture, who make a point OF writing as well as
saying good things. Think over the women
of your acquaintance, and you will hardly
reject one from the list as absolutely nom
humorous. Call to account the gentleman
q who is your nearest relative, for the bolster
Gus shouts of laughter issuing from the
dem where a company of gentlemen have
been smoking, and you will find that the en-
tertainment OF the time has been a series Of
good stories" or If there has been any orig
inal wit, Il is usually, as we have said, from
some professional wit, il we may be allowed
the expression, who has aset the table on q
roar nl-lr aIr r.t..r 4.ra- rf.fr
Enter a room humming with the buzz of q
dozen or two bright women, and. you will
never find any Of them entertaining the com
pany, nor is it at all probable that you viii
hear = single good story each il contrib
uting her share to the light fun flying about
suggested ut the moment and thought nc
more OF, though the shafts of wit may be as
fine and delicate from the merest social but
terfy as the remark OF the Fair Barbariah
when told that English girls were not In the
habit Of wearing diamonds as literally as she
did. "Very few American girls do was the
young lady's calm and seif-satisfied reply,
equaied, II not surpassed, by her naiyete il
saying why notr' to the British youth who
remarked that OF course when he first saw
her he had not thought OF marrying her. As
an Instance OF the way in which women often
react upon each; other In repartee, | viii only
quote a little conversation which 1t was once
my privilege to overheard -H sf
Margaret wonder you have never been
married, Kate. or course you have had
lots OF chances. Won't you tell Us how
manyii iN tllH if.t'1t I'D .hnr1 I'd
Kate-No. indeed could not 10 cruelty
betray my rejected lovers, B.
Helen-Of course, you would not tell US
exactly; but would you mind giving 1t to us
in round numbersi HHf rHFnuaa rrdf
Kate-Certainly not; the roundest MUM
Der Of all exactly expresses the chances ]
have had. Nm-ali Hil- Alf Jed ll
Charlotte with a sighl-NowI know what
people mean by Hates circle Of admirers.
ThoreAA: All a mans privacy is In lhis
eye. and It's expression be can not alter mort
THAN he can alter his character.
Little Joker is the best smoking to-
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