davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

"No," said man who applied for
a pension, 81 must acknowledge that
| was never in the army, but | once
fell off a post and rail fence and
broke my leg while watching a mill
tary company drill.--Middletown
Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

1t makes the landlady mad to hear
one boarder remark to another while
rising from the dinner table: "Now,
Jim, let's go to a restaurant and get
something to eat. Oil City Derrick.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

"When in society never talk of
yourself" is the injunction of an au-
thority on etiquette. People never
do-they run down other people,
Philadelphia Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

A number of dogs were shot in the
East End last night, says an Ohio
paper. Served them right; let them
keep their east end out of danger
Detroit Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

among many recent recipes is
one for making an "Oyster Loaf"
Now why should idleness, even in an
oyster, be encouraged ?"-Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

Subscriber-No; "crazy as bed
bug" is not refined expression for
a young lady to use. You should say
"Crazy as a bedquilt. baltimore
Day.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

A stage struck Dakota maiden
writes to a New York lady friend to
send her copy of the acting edition
of "Skylark, or the murder of Venus"
Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

You may know an apple tree by its
fruit, but you cannot always tell an
cient clocks by their dates.-Lowell
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

Nothing shows the remarkable
healthfulness Of this country so much
as the pension list.-Philadelphia
Call.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

When girl has lost her spirits she
doesn't stand the ghost of a chance.
No one can re-spectre.-Boston Ad'
yertiser.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

A wit says man cannot support a
sealskin wife on a muskrat salary
Lapeer Democrat.
Well, he otto.-Harrisville Review.
That is if he wants her to mink-le
with the elite. Dress her in anything
else and it will disable her fur society.
Bay City Tribune.
Will this bear any more detroit
Evening Journal.
1t may if you beaver-y careful, al
though you had better ask Martin
and sea lion about II.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

81 am monarch of all l survey"
cried the victor in wrestling match
"and | am now sitting on the thrown"
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

"Beg yer pardon, but do you think
l can find Buffalo in New York p
inquired an English snob of an Amer
lean passenger on the steamship.
Buffalo in New York Certainly ;
only about 400 miles from the city at
the end of the Central railroad" F"
"Ah, yaas! thank yer; feller down
in the cabin just now said there
wasn't one thin 1000 miles Of New
York, yer know. Can't fool an old
sportsman, yer know, with that sort
of gammon."-Turf, Field and Farm.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06
FOR SALE.

My entire Stock Of Hardware, to close out. Lum-
bermen, Millmen, Builders, Blacksmiths, Farmers
and all wanting Hardware, call and get Prices for
anything you may want in my Stock. This is no ad-
vertising dodge; mean Business. wish to sell my
entire stock out before spring. Cash will buy goods
Cheap.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06
WIT AND HUMOR.

Fish stories are hard to bait.-N.
Y. News. On account of there be-
ing so scaly, we suppose.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

"A man one hundred years old re-
Gently filed claim at the Huron Oak }
Land-Oflice, and says he came West to
grow up with tho country. " Chicago
Tribune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

IL YOU
Want o cook,
Want clerk,
Want partner,
Want n situation,
Want salesman.
Want servant girl,
Want TO sell n piano,
Want TO buy horse,
Want TO purchase farm,
Want 10 sell n carriage,
Want to borrow some money,
Want 10 sell some town property,
Want TO find good boarding place,
Want 20 sell groceries or drugs,
Want 10 sell dry goods or carpets,
ADVERTISE IN THE WEEKLY ARGUS
Advertising gains new customers,
Advertising keeps old customers,
Advertising makes success easy,
Advertising bcgets confidence,
Advertising always pays,
Advertising shows pluck,
Advertising means biz,
Advertise or Dust"
Advertise long,
Advertise well,
Advertise now,
Advertise,
Here
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06
Advertising Rates.

Business Cards. one year, dollar for every line.
Local Notices ton cents per line for each insertion
anl all notices continued for three months or longer
. discount Of 25per cent
Advertisements unaceompaniodb by verbal orr written
directions will be published three months.
Advertiscmcnts, under contract, ordered out %
Erc expiration of time, will hs charged full rates.
so paper discontinued until all arrearages paid
hccpt at the option of the publisher.
transient advertisements must be paid in advance
g1Terns CASH, payable quarterly.
Only Metal Cuts Inserted.
Prices and Terms alike to all.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06
Detroit & Bav City Railroad
ooISo NORTH.
aoIso SOUTH.

Day and Evening Express daily, sundays except
ed. Night ExproSs daily, Saturdays excepted
II. B LEDYARD, HENRY Q. WENTWORTH,
6enI Manager, Gsn1 Pass. s. Ticket Agt.,
Detroit, Mich. Chicago, ILL.,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06
Flint & Pere Marquette R. R

Drawing room cars morning and evening trains
between Bay city and Detroit, extra charges onl!
Is cents. 80. .--...s ~
Night express east runs Sunday night instead oi
sotuTday All other trains daily except Sunday.
SANFORD keller, sup't
w. D. HlrCHCOCk,
Ticket Agent, Alpena, Mich
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

The worst blowout an inebriated
countryman ever had was when he
blew out the gas in his room. II saved
him the trouble of blowing his brains
ater IN life. ~. o. Picayunc.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

"A letter was received at the New
York Postollice the other day from Bur-
lington, Mo, the envelope of which was
badly dcfaccd and bruised. II bore the
official Endorsement: "a cyclone struck
this town last night. All the mails
saved, but in this condition."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-02-06

Sold by p. ]. Monaghan, Alpcna, Mich.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
VALE NOTES.

The First Football Game of the Sea-
 sOn-YaIe Walks Away With the NTfddIetoVvn Team - General College
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02


 To select a few of the Solomonic legends, and to present them briefly, is difficult task; so many are equally striking that it is not easy to discriminate. Perhaps the most curious are those connected with the Queen of Sheba The Bible tells of her visit to Solomon, attracted by the fame of his wis dom, and how she proposed riddles which he solved centuries before the appearance of the illustrated prize rebus. Riddles, however, were fayorites in antiquity; and some cur rent conundrums very ancient, dating back to the Greeks, in fact. Among the Ori- entals the riddle and parable were peculiarly at home. The post biblical legend tells us the exact character of these riddles and their solution by Solomon. When the queen placed two wreaths before the monarch, and asked him to tell which was real and which artificial, he opened a window, and bee alighting upon the natural wreath, told him what he wished to know. She brought into his presence number of male and female servants dressed exactly alike and wished him to tell who were men and who women. He ordered his eunuchs to give them nuts and roasted corn, and the men put them un- abashed in their garments, while the women, more modest, received them on their hand kerchiefs, thus revealing their sex to Solo mon. ''What is that!" the queen asked, (which comes like dust from the earth, whose food is dust, which is poured out like water and which Eliminates the house?'' 'fNaphtha,'' came the ready answer. Once when Solomon desired to build the temple, he sent to Pharaoh with @ request for arti- sans. The king of Egypt summoned his as- tro1ogers, who told him which of his arti- sans would die during that year, and these he sent to Solomon. But the latter's wis dom enabled him to detect the plot, and pro viding each with a shroud, he returned them to Pharaoh with the message: "Hast thou no shrouds wherein to bury thy dead! Here I have provided them with them" When Solomon married the daughter of Pharaoh, the rabbis say, she not only made him acz quainted with thousand different kinds of musical instruments, but taught him as well the chants to idols, which caused him to for get the worship of the one God. In Mid rash transformed by Arabic influence Grans- lated into English by the late Thomas Che nery, editor of the London Times, and pub lished in the Miscellany of Hebrew Litera- ture, second series, London, 1S7O, Solomon is represented as riding on the wind, seated upon great mantle sixty miles square One day he was boasting of his power and wis dom, when the wind withdrew from him and forty thousand men fell from his mantle. FFReturn," he cried to the wind, land be calm" ''Return to thy God,'' replied the wind, land boast not of myself. Then I will return'' And Solomon was taught wis dom by the words of the wind.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
~nIIsmnnra

Mrs. S. L. Hall is visiting in Boston, Mass.
 H. Woodward has returned from Shel- bourne Falls, Mass.
 The honorary members of the National band hold regular meeting tomorrow eV- ening.
 Frank Everts, who is clerk for D. P. Gris- wold, is very low with inflammation 1.-the bowels.
 Mr. and Mrs E. M Hall celebrated their wooden wedding Monday evening. They were the recipients of many useful and valu- able presents.
 Through the efforts of Rev. Hugh Mallon every saloon keeper has signed an agreement not to open their saloons on Sunday or sell liquor on that day.
 The wheel shops have been obliged to shut down for two days to make repairs to their engine
 Mrs. George D. Munson is visiting in New York
 Henry L. Hall, O. B. Lane and F. 0. Allen the jurors drawn from this town to serve in the next term of the Superior court.
 Mrs M E. Jacob has purchased build ing lot on Whittelsey avenue from F. c. AL len.
 MT. George Tyler, of Boston, was the guest of Marcus E.. Cook on Tuesday night.
 Wallace hose company hold regular meeting this evening.
 General Caster, of Louisiana, and Judge
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
{.
 HARRY LEIGH,
 GROCER, 6zO Chapel Street.
Electors, Meefing

 FTNHE Electors of the Town of New Haven are A hereby notified and warned to meet in their re- Spectlye voting Districts on MONDAY. the 9th day of October A. D. 1884, at clock a. Tl to signify their approval or dlsapproval of the following con stitutional amendment providing for hiennisI Sos- Those in favor of approving said amendment shall give in a ballot in the form preceding with the word ''Yes'' written or printed thereon and those who disapprove of said amendment shall give in a ballot in the form preceding with the word "No'1 written or printed thereon. Such bal word t'Yes'' or the word No'' which shall be given in shall be respectively counted in favor against said amendment The ballot boxes will be open from o'clock a. m. till o'clock D. ., in the several Voting Districts as follows:
 First Distric-City Court Building, Patrolmen's Room, Court Street. Second Dstrict-1S Park Street. Third District-170 Congress Avenue. Fourth District-Corner Columbus Avenue and Water Street, east side
 Fifth District-79 Wooster Street. Sixth District-70 Hamilton Street. Seventh District-I97 Hamilton Street Eiehth District-78O State Street Ninth District-45 Di1wel1 Avenue. Tenth District-101 Whalley Avenue. Eleventh District-100 Ferry Street. Twelfth Dstrict-196 Ferry Street. Thirteenth District-Franklin Street, Westville. Fourteenth District-Engine Hall, Annex Fifteenth District-Next north of old school house. Townsend Avenue Annex. Dated New Haven September 27th, 1884.
 J.w POND,
 ANDREW J. CALLAHAN, co,s.otl.s
 WILLIAM HIGGINS, SoASet'oies
 WILLIAM B. CATLIN,
 JACOB MAILHoUSE,
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
gi1ra1nriaI.
Again Waiting Market-The Bears Hammer Stocks and Force Decline In Prices.

NEW YcRK, Oct. l. The stock market this morning opened firm and during the first fifteen minutes of business prices were pushed up fractiona1ly by the bull cliques The market then became dull and continued so un- til the final call, when the bears made concerted attack on the Vanderbilts, at the time circu- lating all sorts of unfavorable rumors in regard to the negotiations pending for an adjustment of the trunk line difficulties which had the effect of caus- ing some selling on the part of the weaker holders, which together with the bear hammering weakened the whole list Prices declined steadily up to 12:30 o'clock, when they were Ii to per cent. below the closing figures of last night. From 12:30 to the close the market was exceedingly dull and the changes slight, but the tone was firmer and prices recovered fractionally. The closing prices, how ever, were A to M per cent lower than yesterday s for almost the entire list. The specialties were dull and featureless The market to-day waiting one and nothing worthy of record transpired in connection with the dealings. The sales aggregat- ed 207, 900 shares.
 Money closed at 11s92 per cent.
 Exchange closed quiet at 4S3@4s2; actual rates 4ss@48sA for sixty days. and 4s40 4s414 for de- mand
 [Closiag prices reported the private wires of BuNNELL < SCRANTON. Bankers and Brokers
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02

Flows from the Maximum Mineral Fountain of Sara toga Springs and is in the opinion of the most eni
 nent medical men Natures Sovereign Cure for Con stipation Dyspepsia, Torpid Liver, Inactive Condi tons of the Kidneys and most salutary alternative in scrofulous affections. With ladies, gentlemen and bon vivants everywhere it has become the standard of dietary expedients fortfyng the diges tive functions and enabling free Hvers to indulge with impunity at the table. The world of wealth, intelligence and refinement testes to it's sparkling naturally pure and delightful qualities as the bev
 craze incomparable, and accredit it with being the surest and spediest source of their clear complex ions, high and exuberant spirits. HATHORN SPRING WATER is sold only in glass bottles; four dozen pints are packed in a case. It may be ob- tained at all hotels, and of druggists, wine chants and grocers everywhere. my2
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02

"It has more than realized my expecta- tions," says Professor Duncan Campbell, M. D., IL. D., President Royal College Physi- clans and Surgeons, Member General Coun- cil University of Edinburgh, etc., of the Liebig Co., Coca Beef Tonic. Invaluable for debility, weak lungs, biliousness, dys- pepsia, malaria, liver complaint, sick head ache. se30eod&w1w ScOtt's Emulsion of Pure Cod Liver
 Oil, With HypophOsphites, For
 Throat Affections.
 Dr. F. B. Philpott, Salisbury, Mo-, says: q have used Scott's Emulsion in glandular diseases and Throat affections with uniform ly good results. It is the only preparation of Cod Liver Oil I use." se30eod&Cw1w
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
FAIR HAVEN .
The Warm Weather and the Oysters
 Wedding at Central Hall.

The Warm Weather and the Oysters
 Wedding at Central Hall.
 Mr. c. 0. Post, the grain and feed dealer in the Todd block, has given up the business and closed up the store.
 A large number of both Democrats and Republicans went over to the city last eve ming to see the Democratic parade.
 Rumors of two more weddings soon and from appearances and facts we would think that rumor is about right this time.
 Some of the borough fremen are going to New London to-day to witness the great fire mems parade that takes place there to-day
 The Hauf Brothers, bakers on the east side are going to make several improve ments in their store, and when completed it will be as fine as any bakery in the county, Quite number of country people went down to East river yesterday to catch oys- ters, as the law for catching bivalves was off on October 1.
 Captain H. R. Linsley and J. H. Linsley returned yesterday from Lyme where they had been out for few days sport in hunt ing. The warm weather yesterday did not make it a very enjoyable time for hunting. MT. Minott E. Osborn had many warm friends here, all of whom deeply regret to hear of his death and their most heartfelt sympathies are rendered to the family in their bereavement.
 Judge Lucius P. Deming has purchased new horse and carriage, which is a fine turnout. The judge now rides from his home to attend to his off cia1 duties in the city in his own team, which makes it much more pleasant and conven- tent.
 Eighty-fve in the shade yesterday, the first day of October. How is that for falls Our oldest citizens say they never saw such warm weather this season of the year before and the oyster dealers do not like it either. The trade started good in September, but the warm spell holds on so long that the orders for oysters have decreased instead of increas- ing as they would have done if the weather was only cooler.
 The marriage of Miss Matilda M. Kramp and Mr. Frederick Gehrke took place at the brides residence, No 94 Exchange street, last evening at seven o'clock, the Rev. MT. Bras tus Blakeslee tying the silken knot. After the ceremonies the party adjourned to Central Hall, where a grand collation. was partaken of. There were about eighty guests present.. After the banquet came the dancing. The festivities were kept up until midnight and with the best of wish -es and prosperity for Mr. and Mrs. Gehrke and good night to all the party dispersed for their homes. Both are well known and have many friends The bride is 8 daughter of Mir. c. Kramp and the groom has been long in the employ of MT. s. E. Dibble, the stove merchant
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
WEST HAVEN.
NIT. AndersOn's New Shore Residence
 Grand Demonstration Next Week.


 Grand Demonstration Next Week.
 Work on the foundati on for the summer residence of Mr. John c. Anderson on Beach street is well advanced. It is intended to have the residence ready for occupancy next spring It will be of brick, three stories high, of ornate and tasteful design, and will cost about $2O,OO0. A heavy sea wall will be built for a considerable distance opposite it to protect it from the heavy wash of the Sound in storms. From this wall pier will be built out into the Sound for a prone lade and landing for boats.
 The West Haven band furnished music for the private skating german at the Dwight street rink, Tuesday evening.
 Next week the Republicans of West Haven will have grand campaign demonstration, with flag and banner raising. The initiatory steps were taken at the recent meeting of the Blaine and Logan club and West Haven will be alive for the occasion.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
Bridgeport, July F, 1884.
New York, New Haven & Hart

NGW Ofk, NeW HAVSH N HdFI- ford R. R., Sept. %, 1884. TRAINS LEAVE NEW HAVEN AS FOLLOWS FOR NEW WORKERS, *4:1S, *4:28, 515 6:30, *7:30 way train to Stamford5, *1:s0, *2:30, *3:56 (4:O7 way to Stamford, thence Ex. to New York;, *507, 542, 7:15 milk train with pass. ac- eommodation stops at all stations except Glen mont and Pelhamville. (S:00 way to Bridgeport, @S:3S, m., 9:05+ Sundays, *3:5S, *4:1S, 500 m, 500, 715. *9:3S p. m; WASHINGTON NIGHT EMPRESS VIA HARLEM RIVER-Leaves at *11:50 D. m. daily, stops at Milford, Bridgeport, South Norwalk and stam- FOR BOSTON VIA sPRINGFIELD-*1:o night 6:52 S:Oo, *11:05 a. m., *1:16, 3:12, *6:26 p. m Sundays, *1:02 night, *6:26 D. m FOR MONTREAL via Conn. River and C. V. R. R. *1105, a; m, *6:26 F. m; daily except Sunday DENCE-*12:45 night, *1o:25 a. m, fast express (#3:15 Newport Express, goes no farther than Providence), *4:1o p. m. Fast Express, Sundays *12:45 night
 FOR BOSTON VIA HARTFORD AND N. Y. & N. E. R. R.-*2:30 a.. daily.
 FOR HARTFORD, SPRINGFIELD AND ABERDEEN, ETC.-*12:15 night, *1:02 night (*2:30 a. m to Hartford, 6:52, 500, *10:25, *11;05 9. m., 1910 SIP ?. m. Sundays *1 :02 light, *6:26 p. m. FOR NEW LONDON, ETC'-*12:45 night, 7:55 (this train connects with steamboat at New Lon don for Block Island), %10;25, 1035 a. m, *3:15, ford goes no farther0 Sundays *12:45 night; VIA B. 6 N. Y. AIR LINE DIVISION for Middle town, Willimantic Etc.-Leave New Haven for all stations at S:15 a. m., 1:35, 6:20 p. Con- and at Willimantic with N. Y & N E. and N. l.. 6 N. R. R., at Turnerville with Colchester Branch. Trains arrive in New Haven at 500 a.
 D. M REED, Vice President. *Express trains.
 tLocal Express.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-02
,m1D ONIONS AND FLOODED cows,

'm1D ONIONS AND FLOODED cows. Large Crowds At the Clinton Fair
 An Especially Fine Display of Cat
 .tle-The Fair Pronounced Success.
 Early in the morning yesterday the streets of the pleasant village of Clinton were begin ming to show tokens of holiday. The usual quiet was broken by sounds of laughter, the lowing of cattle, the bleating of sheep and the beating of drums Lusty men with long whips went driving oxen, and cries of ''Gee of, "Hish, haw here, Buck" rent the air
 Teams bearing the farmers wives and daugh- ters went along beside the men who had all sorts of farm stock in tow Long strings of oxen dragging carts decorated with every conceivable product of the farm and garden came into town from the four corners of the neighboring region. Men came up from the shore with baskets of monstrous oysters sea turtles and other things that old ocean bears. Every house in the vicinity sent forth it's cake CT bread or needle work upon which mothers and sisters hands had worked with exceeding care. Gathered at the grounds the sturdy and the fair looked at all there was to be seen, met in friendly intercourse over fine lamb or bunch of grapes, talked over the best methods of farming, dis cussed the latest gossip, admired and criticised the exhibits, listened to the clamoring hawkers whose watermelons
 sweet cider and peanuts found a ready sale and generally passed by the young man who worked with great stress of voice to cajole the youths into trying to knock bottle off stump with base ball at long range. The sun shone warm and the wind blew fresh and it was far into the evening before the last person went away from the armory, despoil- ed of its tempting array of the luxnries which the farmers produce, and pronounced