The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-06-03

People learn wisdom ny experience.
A man never wakes up his second baby
to see it laugh.
A good name at home is a tower Of
strength abroad Ten times as much
Hoods Sarsaparilla used in Lowell as OF
any other.
A camel will w,rk for seven or eight
days without drinking. In this he differs
from some men, who will drink seven or
eigh. days without working.
"Mary. be careful. my child, when
going out Have will of your own
"Oh, I've Will of nv own, mother
but be cant be with me all the time"
The late Matt Carpenter, who, as q
lawyer, was almost ss great as Webster
and who as man was peculiar, once
said to catholic divine "Purgalory is
simply a motion for new trial"
An Engllshman IS teaching a donkey
how to talk. When it's education i,
completed it will probably come to
America on eciuring tour az SO many
eminent and distinguished English don.
keys have done.
A dry goods salesman tells 3 reporter
Of the Albany Argus that when woman
comes into the store, looks at a pi, ee OF
goods and saws, "Now isn't that beau,i.
ful, and so very cheap" the clerks drop
her like an April Fool pafcrl. She is q
professional shopper.
Johnny came home from school the
other day very much escited. "Whst
do you think, Paf Joe Stewart, one Of
the big boys, had an argument with the
teacher about question in grammar. /"
'sWhat position did Joe take ?" "His
last position was across q chair, face
down." Ee"
Women have done quite as much for
the Methodist Church as the Methodist
Church has done for women Yet the
General Conference decides that although
women are sometimes plainly called t,
preach, it is nevertheless 'iuexpedient
to allow them. Give 'em d cold potato
aud let them go! -
Mrs. Bolton writes in the Independ-
ent: Great numbers OF postoffices in
England are managed BY women.
said to one in London: You manage
this as well as a man." I'VE are said
to do it BETTER" she replied, "because.
people say, we are quicker and more
patient" = -
The statement Of the eminent French
physician, DR.. Mortimer Granville, "that
a man is as we'll as he believes him self
TO be-" somewhat conflicts with the ex-
perience of Wards victims, who he,itv.
ed themselves we'll off ill they found
themselves worse of than they ever
thought they would he. a-s.i =.
"Sbine yer butes2" shouted a boot.
black yesterday to an oil citizen on Main
street. The nan addressed made no re-
plv. "Shine 'em upi Only five cents u
Still no reply, but gaz. into vacancy
The bootback look, d at his victim O
moment, to make ssre he was alive, then
said. in disg gusted tone: "S-a-y, mister
ef yer cant tork, w Jess make signs
will yer =" fii -t.if
II have fearful sore throat this even
ing. Adolphus," said Celeste to her
latest mash, who was giving her more
taffy than would load an express wagon.
"But, darling, that has nrthing to do
with what l have been telling you."
"Yes, Adolphus, it has," "In what
way, angel1" II can't swallow all that
stuff-that's how"
Rev DR.. Newman had Just concluded
a long discourse, the benediction had
been pronounced and the congregation
were dispensing. Said a great admirer
of the preacher: "a fine sermon, and
we'll timed, too." YES" repli d the
clergyman sit was certainly we'll timed
About half the congregation had their
watches ont most OF the time was talk.
Ing"