The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-08-02
Absent Minded Women.

but speaking of abscnt-mind"0
people," said Il West Slider, "women
beat the nation at that. There is my
VIE, one of the most careful and most
leyel-headed women in the world But
one night last winter we went to a large
party and we both, for special reasons,
were mole than anxious to appear well.
MY wife was greatly concerned about
me, as | am the absent-minded mem
Der OF the family, and looked me over
crltlcally and carefully after | leEj the
courtroom and before we went down
stairs. She was herself, all right, of
course, ,and was superbly dressed. We
went down in high feather and had
passed through the parlors and had
spent delightful half-hour on parade
duty, as it were, when my wife sudden
y turned pale in what thought was a
lalnting fit. | hurried her from the
room, and was about to turn the house
upside down in search of restoratives,
when she clutched my sleeve and
pointed to her feet. She had before
leaving home drawn over her shoes q
pair of my socks, and had forgotten to
remove them. The thought that she
had been paradlng before three hun
ired people with those socks on was
700 much for her."
A South Slider who had listened to
this said, after INDUCING in acontented
little chuckle; "My wife tells almost
as good story as that on herself. She
is, as everybody knows who knows her
~. all, very particular about her dress,
y Shs(grieves over a spot on my coat
or hack of polish on my shoes with a
grief hat will not be comforted. She
went dwn street shopping on one Oc-
casion this spring, and in trying on bon
nets become little disturbed over the
fact thatnone of the new shapes suited
her face. She therefore picked up her
parasol, walked out of the store,
called ona very aristocratic acquaint-
ance, andthen came home. A glance
in the hall glass showed that she had
no bonneton. She had taken it off to
try on thenew ones, and as she eX-
pressed it, had been parading along the
streets viii nothing on her head but a
small veil across her forehead. She
didn't scold me about the spots on my
coat for a week"
81 have better story than that, ="
said a superintendent of one of the de-
parments a Fields. Not long ago a
fashionably dressed lady came in early.
and in the course of her bargaining
put her parasol on the counter near a
large feather buster which one of the
clerks had been using. After making
some purchases the lady caught up the
buster instead of her parasol, and went
out hurriedB. AS soon as | discovered
the mistakeI sent a boy after her with
the parasol, but he did not overtake
her until she had made quite q
journey"
''In fact, she flourished that feather
buster along the street, fiourished it
about as she went into another store,
and put il down on the counter, sill
under the impression that it was par
asol. When her purchases in the sec
6nd store were made, she turned to
pick up her parasol, and seeing the
feather buster, asked for her parasol.
The clerk explained that she had not
brought any parasol in, but had come
in carrying that buster. She was SUI
premsly indignant at such an intima-
ton and was delivering the clerk a
,sfier lecture on the subject when in
ame our boy with her parasol and an
explanation. She was so overcome
that she had to be sent home in a car
rage. - Chicago Tribune.