The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-11-04


raining ever since ! borrowed it,
1eGas Syungs.
HAS ne gone. doarP" "Yes, grand
ma" Sand what was that sound In
the hall, JessieP" why, it must have
been tho door shutting, grandma"
your grandma may DO old and deaf.
Jessie, but doors did not shut with
sound like that when she was girl"
"Did the men wear mustaches then,
grandma" mo. my dear" "Well,
that makes the difference probably.
Pittsb~g Chronicle Telegraph.
WALL" said the bootblack who sat
next to the alley, and who had been
keeping very quiet for long time, my
gal amt stylish nor handsome, and she
hain't got small feet and Grecian
nose, but she's awful hearted"
"How goodp" asked the one who car
red three cigar stubs in his vest peck
ct. "Well, the other night when I'd
been eating onions and she hadn't, she
rubbed limberger cheese all over her
mouth so as not to make me feel en-
barrassed. "-DetroH Free Press.
A young man in Shushan, N. Y, fell
deeply in love with young lady of
Hoosick Falls. She, alas! did not re-
eiprocate. What did the young man
do? Did he nope around, and get thin,
and reduce his fathers meat bill ten
per cent? Not he; he went and set
the girls fathers house on fire and
then saved her from the flames. Sue
cess rewarded his bravery and devo-
ton, and now he is hard al work help
ing the old gentleman build another
shanty. darlington Free Press.
A blushing young man called upon a
Madison avenue florist, one day last
week, and gave the proprietor SIC to
construct bouquet which would say,
in floral language: dearest one. love
you-be mine, and which was to be
delivered that evening, without fail, at
the residence of beautiful, accom-
plished, and authenticated girl on
Thirty-sixth street. 1t evidently was
delivered because at an early hour
next morning the young lady called at
the same florist and invested 1915 in q
bouquet, conveying the message: mo,
you bandy-legged clam. "-New York
Star.
The horse had stopped and refused
to bulge, seemingly aware that the
two young lady tourists were novices
at driving. Jennie, what in the world
shall we dop The outrageous brute re-
fuses to bulge" Laura, there is an
awful wicked word that l have heard
men use, but" "Oh, my, we couldn't
but" "Oh, say, I'll tell what won't be
wrong; I'll say one-half and you the
other; GOSH" "Darnitr' "Goshr'
"Darnitr' Gossip "Darnitr' But
the horse stood STILL "He don't APP
pear to understand us, Jennie" said
Laura despondently. mo, the horse
don't, but the devil does. Laura
PtttsJarg Chronicle Telegraph.
A woman is far more sensitive than
man. She has finer feelings and
more delicate mind. There are very
few men who realize this, and in conse-
quence woman is made to endure much
unnecessary suffering. One of our
merchants was going to church with
uis WIG vi ouuuay huornIng' When sne
suddenly stopped and put her hand to
her head. whats the matterp" he
asked, startled by the look on her face.
ooh! l have got on my brown hat"
"Ehp" calculated the astonished man.
She burst into tears. "What, Martha,
what is the matter with you?" he de-
Don't you see what is the
she returned in a sobbiug
voice. i've got on my brown hat
with my striped silk. Oh, what will
people sayP-Daabuy NeI0s.