Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-08-01

dIicD he staggered and acted like Ir'w>.
The latest designs in ladies' Wigs to
catch Il husband this summer
"Will Butler make an independent
rum" asks contemporary He will
make EN- all rum if he adopts the party,
\ Paris lady issued invitations to Il ball,
in which She asked each one of her guests
to bring living animal. \ gentleman
with snakes in his boots attracted the
most attention.
\ retired basr-ballst of some literary
skill was asked To write an cpitHph for Il
man who had Just died after marrying his
third wife. The cX-battcr produced the
following tcrsc but expressive sentiment /:
"Out on third.
II am not dead. am not dead :" sings II
magazine poet We don't blame the poet 4.
we only blame the editor for not Juggling
him up Il couple of stories higher before
he flung him out
You are Il little goose" remarked Il
young NJ. D., playfully, to the Girl he was
engaged to marry. "Of course am ="
was the laughing response. Haven't /
got qlack
\ somewhat too persistent politician re-
marked in stump speech that he "unly
wished to die in the service OF hi. parity"
\ wag from the gallery cried ont. ''rhat's
all we want You to do, too
An indianapolis man has found rattle
snake in il goose err. Ills case j. cvi-
IDENTIFY beyond help.
A writer thinks that early rising is an
art, Just let him try it Il few times and
he will find that it is something of an eff
fort too.
\ large number of campaign poets have
been seized with ccrebrO spinal meningitis,
according to the New York Commercial
ldrcrtiSrr. Too much lying has been
bad for their backs.
Queen Victoria proposes to send Lieu
tenant Greedy il copy of her book. Poor
man and he 50 lately returned from an
expedition involving SO much suffering
His lot indeed is hard one.
II might go further and fare worse. re
marked the impecunious passenger. as he
handed the conductor ten cents. and re
qucsted to have the train stopped and he
put of at the thrcc-milc post.
"Do YOU suppose that we will ever be ON
81
mont nnmncr,t drsnnirin~Iy nf nnothnr
Yes, was the cheerful reply, "when we
die we shall 20 over to the great major
ity."
The great statesmen of England in Par
lament assembled have passed law
which for sublime conception and wide
reaching influence is hardly surpassed in
i
constitutional annals. 1t l, law pro
hihiting the use OF angle worms as fish
bait.
i fish, pole attachment has been patent
ed. which registers accurately the mum
Der OF iiNil calght. Champion anglers are
very shy OF 1t.
\ kentucky monkey recently painted
himself green. II is supposed to have
been IN order that he might secure an
election to dUdc club.
Artistic wife; My dear an going To-
mould bust OF You. husband CWcil
praNcul; Good, my love Bat in orGc.
TO lurh'0h you VIVA lhr desired model
N""i H'Nc /" N' '"j ''i''l A''ui 3 a, ni., to-
''!"Ir""'
pu1ti say, if she. comes, f., ihi, ruurt,y- in
fine fan If will Inc her last visit Wr don't
car. f., I,,,.o. p,.,if.,l ,l.,, ,. ,... &C.,.
do ,,.i.), ,l,,, .,,,,,,.,,,l',.,. ,.,,.
rake in the Amrrir.,, ,.l,.,. ,,,i,,L., t.,,.,
The same No. 80 ''''''
'''"' ~
mere are GeltfallI wv" 'Rlll%9 "o""' -"
Whskey barrel III crowd when nave en-
lircly contrary effects upon the H4"l" '"o
hoop ana the Wloor'
WHATS tins thing asked Il man WIN"
was Inspecting music store nat : on
that used on NloilhS we can 1t chlh
rest, Gimme one exclaimed the Visit
or, - pose It would work on my Wlie
\ PENNSYLVANIA paper reports the death
OF young lady Whlle SINGING III Il nam
mock. Thisis strange. Girl, IN hanmockN
usually do the killing themselves.
\ married man writes to- ask Us, which
have the worst tempcrs, blondes on hru-
ucttcs Now if we only knew what his
Wifc's complexion was we could answer
hy return mail,