Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-12-11
WIT AND HUMON.
A crooked man often snds himself In
Strengthened circumstances.


companion a man can have. This, we
imagine. is especially SO If it happens
to be handbook.
CARLYLE saws: Laughter means
sympathy" This will bring comfort
TO the man who has inadvertently
trodden on banana peel.
A poet in a contemporary sings:
Darkness creeps ABOUT us. as the
night is coming on. The truth OF the
sentiment is at once apparent
The woman who made n pound Of
butter out of the cream of n joke. and
the cheese from the milk of human
Kindness. has since washed the close of
year.
Canada is entitled to the name OF
The land of the free aud the homo OF
the knaye. " The American knavc has
too much freedom over there. Norris
torn HeraLa.
A scientific exchange says that 4 wo-
man can grow seven crops Of hair be-
tween the ages OF Is and 45. II this is
the case, why should some of them re-
fuse to allow their husbands to grow
moro than one crop, -AtldRid Constr
tuition
A good scheme for getting Il reputa-
ton for being fond of works of art and
numbers of pictures is to lay in lot OF
nicely framed chromos, and have them
so heavily covered with mosquito-net-
ting that no one can sec the canvas. -
Puck.
A lady who had just returned from
Europe said to friend: You ought
to heai chem lawff and chawff at our
American way OF talking over there,
you know" "Oh, well, we can stand
it," said her friend; 1--WE larff and
CHART at them when they come over
here.
How can YOU account for those fine
stalks OF corn coming up in the fence
cornerSp" asked man of farmer
That's not corn. the farmer replied.
"only weeds "Ah, how singular!"
Don't know much abOut farmin', ]
reckin'P" VERY little | am the edi-
tor of an agricultural paper. "-Arkaa-
san FRASER
There are two soldiers lying beneath
their blankets looking up at the stars
in Transvaal sky. Says Jack; What
a. made you 90 into the army, TomP"
WELL" replied Tom, III have no
wife and loved war, Jack. well, "
he replied. II had wife and loved
peace so | went. "--FrcHch Paper.
a girl in Turner Maine. smokes.
chews. drinks, swears. shayos and
wears mans hat. -EIchaltge That
all may be, but we will wager that
she can not throw stone at barn
without knocking IN eye out of the
woman in tic next yard. There is Il
limit to everything. -R,ttSdrg Chron-
icie.
Alice, you can never expect Fred to
like you well enough to marry you if
YOU don't let him kiss you and stroke
your hair once in q while. " "Well,
mamma. I'm sure he'll never like me
well enough to marry me il he finds
out ryo got false teeth and false bangs,
which he surely would if allowed him
any privileges. IN T. journal.
A bad boy broke up n camp meeting
down in Pennsylvania, the other day,
by stirring up Il hornets nest which
hung above the congregation. 1t was
remarked afterward by thoughtful
deacon that ii the saints and sinners
had showed half the anxiety TO escape
perditiOu and reach heaven that they
did to ret away from the hornets and
reach that boy there would soon be no
further use for revival meetings. IN
d.0RaD0iS J0HyHaL
"Well, father, | must confess dom
know what TO do with your daughter;
she's hard to live with-idle, selfish,
expensive "Quite like her mother,
my boy. But mind YOU, if she does not
get over II all, and You find it's neces-
sary to come to mo again-if. | say
Yes, as YOU were saying. if"
"Well, il she does, | promise to disin-
hcrit hcrn After that the fellow
spoks Of he! in terms VI continual re-
spec. Prom the FreRh
A French physician has discovered
what he pronouncos new disease
called 'utremia," the most prominent
symptom Of which is an unconquerable
aversion to getting out of bed in the
morning. \ new disease" Ell? As
soon as school vacation ends, nearly
every li-year-old boy in town. who suf-
will have n sudden relapse, and the
most prominent symptoms Of utremia
will appear, --N0ryiStOl0H Herald
A New York widow was taking the
fresh air in Central Park. with her two
children. when She met a former lover,
with whom she entered into CONVERSE
tion. Il am completely broken up,
Amelia he said, Selling her hand.
"Ihero is no telling what | might not
say and do if 1t were not for these chill
dren.' children" said the fond
mother, pushing them away, "run over
yondor where the goat carriages are
and play until | send for you. 49, Teas
Sytmy3
Laura, dear / wish You would pay
n little more attention to young Mr..
Nickelpiatc. I'm sure he is most ex-
cellen, young man, and you are allow
my the Joyce girls to monopol2a en-
tirely too much OF his attention. -
''Why, mother, he is q perfect boor.
He knows absolutely nothing, he can't