The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-02-28
CRASHING" AND 0MASHERs..
How the Dudes and Dudeens 1'Cateh
On" at Our P0st0ffice.


Maj. Beardsley's postof1ce for number of
evenings, and has been hanging round"
there considerable, here of late, but with
a purpose. Rock Island is dull town,
just now, for local news, and reporters
ideas-if he happens to have any-needs
to be very imaginative to fill up seven
long, wide columns every day But to
digress. The postoffice in this city is
patterned after the style of other post
Offices in the country That is to say, on
general principles. The only difference is
that We have about the handsomest as
well as the most convenient postoffice in
the state. Although we are entitled to a
delivery system in this city, we never
succeeded in securing such system. This
being so, it naturally follows that every
man, woman or child in the city, who
wants their mail have to so to the post
Office after it. We have about dozen
mails day, in and out, but the mail that
is received from the east by the way of
Chicago, is the most important mail re-
ceived. 1t arrives about; six o'clock p.
m, and the clerks in the postofflce set
about distributing it as soon as it arrives.
1t takes about an hour to do this. Then
the general delivery windows are opened.
At these windows passes out all the mail
of persons who do not rent boxes. The
rush commences at seven o'clock. Come
go with us, or in parlance palmer, follow
the procession and take look. Behold !!
In the mems Department. is fianked
on every side by tall iron rods, with the
SHARP end on tops a large crowd of
men, old men, young men and Americas
future hope, the festive kid. They are
all expecting something. The old men
are there looking for mail. There can be
no doubt Sabout that. Their expectant
look, as they fle.up, one by one, and gaze
at We urbane mail clerk-this urbane part
is all affy"-would convince the most
skeptical of their object But how about
the young men. Are they expecting mail.
Yes, they are, but it is not spelled mail, a"
but is spelled male" with the prefix 'fe"
to it. Sally Ann, or Susan Janc-thats
the name of their solid girl-has promised
to be there at seven or at half past seven
o'clock at the farthest, to meet her darling
William Henry or 'Deah Gawge.' But
will she? Just wait and see. The long
file of men, boys and kids march up to
the window, smile at the clerk, who either
gives them a letter or.says no, until VIII
liam Henry's turn comes He gazes in.
The clerk says no. William Henry don't
care. He wasn't expecting anything,
anyway He was only killing time. wait
ing for his dearest duck, Sally Ann. He
takes his place at the foot Of the line
again, and there he waits. Sally Ann has
net come yet. What is the matter? Why
don't she come? Why this suspense, this
delays she false? But be still, oh,
beating heart, be still" Your dearest
Sally Ann is not false. She is still true to
you. Your Sally Ann is one or the help
maybe in a large hotel She may be a
trim looking, bewitching dining room girl,
and some Of the boarlcrs have come in
late for supper. Or perhaps she is queen
in some down town kitchen and the man
of the house has been late in getting
home. She has had to wait supper for
him, and then had to wash the dishes after
supper. But she ocjU come, never do you
fear Behold, and 10 there
she came now. Feast your eyes on her.
Take in her dimensions-fguratively
speaking stack her up" ''Aint she O
daisyY" We'll, we should smoker See
those artistic bangs-bought at the hail
store with her last months wages. Catch
onto her cloak, dolman or circular, as the
case may be. 1t makes her look 'toc
sweet for anything" How gaily does she
trip up to the window, and there, standing
on tip toe, gaze in at the mail clerk with
an expression l wonder if there is any
mail here for me on her angelic counte-
nance. OF course there isn't, and the cleri
tells her no, and as she goes to go out sht
espies her William Henry "braced up
against the railing. She bestows a two
for cent smile on him, and he break
for the door where he joins her, and their
is union of
Two souls with but a single thought.
Two hearts that beat as one
as arm in arm they wonder about the city
Then there is the young man who ha
no solid girl" to make a date" witt
him. He is at the postoffice every night
He is on the mash" He ogles ant
stares at every good looking girl tina
enters the postoffice. Oh, how bad h
does want to make mash. Som
times he succeeds Some girl, dudeen
perhaps, comes in after mail. which sh'
knows isn't there, and sees the dude. H
smiles on her. She smiles on him. The
they rush for the door. She goes alon
ahead. He follows in her rear. Sh
crosses the street. So does he. She turn
the corner And so does the dude, an
he, bracing up his backbone, steps u
along side her and says, pleasant ever
ing, sis. "How's your ma, and can
catch on?" If the dude be nice looking
the dudeen says, ''well, yes, guess 20
may. only am not going far. Only jus
down to my sisters who lives in that bi
stone house on Third avenue. The .'mash
is made. The dude is happy He la
succeeded in MASKING some girl VIII
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