The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1884-12-12
In Favor of Peace.

-
selected to read the Declaration OF In
dependence. He had not proceeded
far when an old fellow, who had come
with a large following of Dry Fork
boys, shouted;
Mister, wlut sort O. artikle is that
you're readin'?"
1.-THE Declaration of Independence,
sir"
wall, now, the wars over out here
in this section an we don't want none
of that secesh business. l fit for the
south, an l shifted a good deal O smoke
and stopped several pounds of lead, but
when / flung down my old fuzee ]
agreed that the ~scrimmage was dun.
Now, mister, I don't think that you air
dom right to come out here an read
that thing to the young folks. Lees
dead an Grants busted up, they tel
me, so what's the use in all this hurrah
business? [ am as good a Southern
man as anybody, but L eve was nc
glutton. I've got enough, let me tell
you"
my dear sir" said the colonel, it is
possible that you do not understand
this document-a glorious emblazon'
ment of principles for the establish
ment of which cur forefathers shed
their sacred blood.
Needn't spill so much O. your edu'
cation. mister, fur [ low that you'll
need it before you get 30 the end o
your row. / never toated college white
wash on the back o my coat, but I've got
years like a fox, an a eye that can tell
a blacksnake from a scorpion. That
thing you've got there is rank pizen.
ain'tit Leviticus? ?" turning to one Of
the Day Fork boys.
That's what it is" Leviticus replied.
"That thing, mister, mout been all
right In 81, but it won't do now, for the
cradles rockin' in peace and the blue
eyed gal with the peachy jaws is singin'
a sweet song in the orchard"
"My dear friend" said the colonel,
"let me explain. Gentlemen please
keep quiet. There is no need for ex-
element. When our forefathers were
oppressed by the British government
they threw off the yoke and declared by
this paper" shaking the Declaration of
independence, "that they we're free.
They fought. bled, and maintained this
a---r-,l &c frnn1n~,. ool fhfo nrIOpinY,a
document will ever live as the greatest
national structure the world has ever
known"
THAT'S all right, mister" said the
man from Dry Forks, IAN is talked of
a heap pulitzer than / could do it, but
the war is done over. / don't see no
blood round here. Do you, Leviticus?"
"Aint found none w.t." Leviticus re-
piled.
"No, fur it's all dried up. Now,
pardner," continued the advocate of
peace and the forgetfulness of war, 81
want your warrant of arrest and talk
about something that we slosh round
in every day"
Il shall not put up this glorious pa
per-"
"Ain't thar no persuasion"
"No persuasion and no human force
can make me sheathe this great sword
of argument
"Oh, we'll, we don't want to have no
trouble, but I reckon yerT put it up"
81 swear that I will not"
80, | reckin yer will
ssIll die first
"Oh, yes, you will. Put her up,
now, am come along with us boys.
We've got a jug o. the best old stuff
down here You ever seed, AM"
"Old gentleman-old patriot of a
school whose session is closed-I am
with you" exclaimed the orator, throw
ing a guild of tobacco with a loud 'sspatr
on the bald head Of a tax assessor. 81
was taken in charge this morning by q
party Of Prohibitionists and have suf-
feI&d much in the flesh. Now, my dear
sir, my deliverer, lead me to the con-
secrated ground. The Declaration Of
Independence can wait several years
longer; / cannot wait five minutes.
Here's to you, old patriot. "-Arkansaw
Traveller.