Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-01-08
1, said the sparrow,
With my how and arrow,

killed COCK rODln.
| What did doc Why, on the night of our
celebration after the election, 1 hung out innu-
| merable Chinese lanterns. I marched at the
head oil the procession. hoHered louder than
| any body else. What did dos fought, bled
and died for the cause. 4 voice. "That's so."l
Encouraged by this response, No. Is continued
pathetically: My wishes are very moderate
don't want any big office. especially when
any work has to be done. Just let me run with
.'the Boys" and give me the worst pair of old
brseehes you can spare. Deaf-ning applause
| followed, and it was unanimously agreed that
| the Boss was not as Old by twenty-five years as
he seemed.
The next business IN order was the adoption
of s platform, and he following was reported !:
|. Resolred, To the victors belong the spoils
2. Resolved, We are the vctors.
Resolved, The spoils are ours.
The platform was unanimously and enthusi-
astically adopted.
The chairman of the appropriate committee
next submitted report on business remark
ing: I've mean business" The report is as
follows:
We demand that the Constitution of the Uni
ted states be SO changed that
l. No person shall ne representative in Con-
years.
| 2. No person shall be q Senator who has at
taiued thirty years
g. No person shall be eligible IL the office OF
President OF the U ute States who has attainea
the age OF thirty Ave years.
The chairman observed that some people
might be foolish enough to suppose that those
limitations would exclude from the halls of
Congress, and even from the Presidency. sew.
eral members of The Club; but it WAS prepos-
ferrous to imagine that any of 1.-The Boys could
ever be over twenty five years of age. The re-
port was thereupon unanimously adopted
Boss No. Is voting loudesi of allJ and it was
ordered that the Constitution be amended &C
cordingly.
Boss No. II then addressed the Club. Like
the chairman OF the committee on business.
he "meant business" He was a "llve man.
There was one reform imperatively demanded
These old Moss backs scattered through the
country persisted in holding on to their prop
erty Till their dying day. and Ike ofEc6 hold
ers. few die and none resign" 1t was & cry.
log outrage that the rising generation, thshopel
Of the country should be kept out OF their
rights SO long. He therefore proposed and
the Clun wi thout dissent agreed. that our repre-
ssntatives in the Legislature Immediately pass
a law declaring every man over fifty years of
age incompetent to manage his affairs. and
turning over all his property to his youngest
child.
Boss No. 10 had proposition to offer. He
thought 1t absolutely necessary the Club should
have a newspaper organ to advocate its policy
aud to receive the patronage of its members.
Boss No. 8 interposed the remark that we al
ready had a very jealous and efficient organ
but No. 10 was prepared for this objection. He
said 1t was most preposterous to suppose that
! q man who, to his certain knowledge, was not
less than seventy five years old, could edit a
live newspaper worthy of our confidence and
support. He was doubtful of the EDITORS fldel-
ity. Sometimes he seemed to be poking fun at
the Club. But however that might be. the man
was certainly dotted.
There being no further oprosition.a commit
tee was ap.lointed to provide the new organ,
and, il possible, monkey to accompany 1t.
The Club adjourned till next time, after
adopting rousing address to all Moss backs
exhorting them most solemnly to do their part
In the great work by voting early and often.
AyEsDRoPPER
The Remnant Counter at Kayser
Shirley & Taylor's is attracting great atten.
| tention. janI-3t
-