The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1884-05-30
HUMOROUS.

In the social circles of the chicken.
yard the lines are very distinctly drawn,
for each hen has her own set.-Mer-
chant Traveler.
"What is wanted in this country, y
said the bride as she examined the wed
ding presents, sis silver service reform:
that set is plated. "-SomervaIle Jour
nGk
-Herbert Spencer's lucid remark
that an ''incidental force falling on an
aggregate containing like and unlike
units, segregates the like units and sep
,arates the unlike" never strikes a
young man so forcibly as when tailor
refuses to trust him for new suit
NorriStoa0fa Herald.
Precocious child INA, how old is
Aunt Carolinap' Fond mother: "Sixty-
three. Why do you ask?" P. c.:
*'Because want to know if she is as old
as that why can't call her Antique. =
Fond mother reflects upon the advance
of progress and the gradual disappear.
ance of childish children. Boston Ga
zette.
"A newly-married man on being
presented with a brass kettle by few Of
his bachelor friends, said: "Gentle.
men: thank you for this kind token OF
your esteem; but this present has one
significance which you may not have
considered--it will keep my family in
hot water as long as it lasts. IL Car
PretzeJs Weekly.
-Puggles is greatly mashed on q
young girl from the East who is visiting
friends here. The other day he took
her out for drive and they passed 8
place where an old farmer was cartino
straw from an old stack and scattering
it over his field to enrich it. "What i
that he is doingP'' said she. ooh, he's
putting out straw in his field,n replied
Puggles. ''Ah, me. So he's planting
straw, is hep And in few DAYS he'f
raise those dear, delightful strawberries
that you have in the West ~ gans.
Vttte argus.
AT dinner party the little son Of
the host and hostess was allowed tC
come down to dessert. Having had
what his mother considered sufficiency
of fruit, he was told he must not have
any more, when, to the surprise OIL
every one of the guests, he exclaimed
Ii you don't give some more I'll tell!''
whereupon he was suddenly and swiftly
removed from the room, but he had
just time to conYulse the COMPANY bv
exclaiming; my new trousers are
made out Of mas old bedroom cur
tains-- Chicago IY1bune.
The bootblack in question is q
small, dilapidated urchin, who NAV be
seen in the vicinity of the post-office at
such times as he is not otherwise en-
gagged in the gallery of the Comieue or
pitching pennies in side alley. The
man whom he followed and solicited ia
submit to the operation of ga shine y
had refused several time, and finally
petulantly exclaimed: Didn't / tell
you five minutes ago that I didn't
want my boots blacked?'' eyer did.
mister, = replied the gamin; "but ]
thought yer might be lying about it. -
ProUade7ace Press.
The memory of drunken man is
sometimes strikingly alive. A we'll
known citizen stood in bar-room at
tempting to induce every man to drink.
Very naturally his war experience soon
came up, and with that chest-swell
of pride which ever charasterizes the
old soldier, said; Il fought seven bat
ties during the war, and amt afraid of
no man. "Come on and go home. =
remarked a friend, taking his arm.
mo, | won't go home. Ifought seven
battles, and ain t afraid of no man. but
won't go home. / am married
man. "-ArkanSaa0 1raUege7.