Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-02-15
Crazy Quilts"

If there Is any limit of the vagaries
Of the feminine intellect, the psycho-
logical telescope is yet to be invented,
which will disclose II. Whimsical
notions, visions, phantasms and i'm
ageries go whirling past each otherin
the female brain like different solar
systems through the limitable con-
fines Of space. A month or two ago
the dccalcomania fancy was upper
most, and everything about the house
was bedaubed and bcpastcd with pic
lures of nude cupids, angels, etc. from
the French mirror down TO the hum
blest article of bedroom furniture.
Next came the illuminated scrap
book nonsense, and the Cupids and
angels were all scrapcd off and glued
into large tones, invaluable at first,
but now rclcgated TO the dust of the
back shelf in the closet or given to the
babies to play with.
But the most maniacal phantasy
that has yet brought the minds of the
women 10 the verge of idiocy, and
their husbands, brothers and sweet
hearts to the verge Of insanity is the
'crazy quilt" The Inventor of this
latest banc of domestic peace and
happiness Is unknown. But, both
from its name and appearance, II is
fair TO presume that ii originated in
Bcdlam. The "crazy quilt" is a bed
covcrlet composed Of countless and
iniinitcsimal pieces Of parti-colored
silks. So utterly wild aud ungovern-
able has this rage among the fair sex
become that no man is safe upon the
streets for a moment with a silk scarf
or ncck-tie exposed and hitherto cs-
timablc young ladies have been
known to purloin the masculine silk
handkerchief. if its colors are bright,
render il into fragments, and scream,
and wranglc, and fight for possession
Of bit of the ilnery like so many
wild animals just broken loose from
some menagcrie. The weary husband,
returning from his daily toll, has to
sneak into his home through the back
yard-frst hiding his neck-gear in
the coal-house-or his loving wife will
be Swapping at his throat with pair
of sheep-shcars in frantic effort to
secure piece of his scarf. His silk
handkerchleis he has long since
locked up in his Office safe TO prevent
their following the lining of his hat
and the gay band about the top of his
underwear. The wedding dress Of
the venerable grandmother has long
since disappeared. The silk stockings
of our ancestry and the silk fastenings
of our christening robe have already
been sacrificed to this ruthless Mo-
loch-the "crazy quilt" 1t is only a
question of brief time ere the armory
is stormed and the silk flag of the B..
G. G. will follow in the grand process
sion of captured banners gone before.
The worst of it is that the patching
of a "crazy quilt" renders the maker
oblivious to all other earthly and
necessary duties. Her boys raiment
may be falling in pieces, but what
does she care about the ventilated
basement of her little innocents trous-
ers, with the white signal of distress
futtering in the icy winds, as long as
she has an inch or two of gaudy
finery to patch on to her "crazy quiltr
Her little daughters hose may be in
such a condition that the poor child
in the morning is at loss whether to
put her feet into them through the
hole iu the heel or through the hole
at the top of the leg whereit belongs
Little reeks the woman with the
"crazy quilt whether her offspring
has any stockings or not.
Hapless husbands, who have moi
had button on their shirts since
"crazy quilts" came in fashion, turn
their straining eyes toward the vault
cd dome of Heaven and cry out in
their agony, "Great God, how long
oh, how long is this going to last?"
The press has thundered and thu
pulpit has mathematical against thu
ilend of strong drink and the count
less homes it has ruined, the insane
asylums it has filled, the peniten
tiaries it has crowded. But more
deadly, more relentless, more insidiou
and a thousand times more terrible il
this accursed fiend of the "craz.