The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1884-01-01
PECK'S BAD BOY.


a poor dirty looking tramp, and
bought him pound of crackers and
big piece of cheese, and as the
tramp sat down on soap box and
began to go through the fodder as
though it was banquet, and the
boy looked out of the window at the
rain that was falling, the grocery
man added, "What has got into
you? You haven't got religion have
your"
"Naw. / guess not" said the boy,
as he slyed pickle out of barrel
to the tramp. "That is, ] haven't got
it by any regular rule, but may be
it is in my system. | tell you, old
oleomargerine, 1 have always been
in for fun, and haven't cared much
how l had it, but lately l have had
more fun making people happy, than
1 ever had making pa jump around.
Don't you know, if you see person
who's in hard luck, and thinks the
world is all fraud, and who almost
wants to be run over by freight
train, and you go to work and sur
prise the person with bit of kind
ness, smuggle a warm meal down
him before he knows it, it makes
your heart feel as though you had
got to loosen your belt? | never
knew there was so much suffering in
the world until that humane society
fellow hired me to go around with
him to hold his horse while he re-
lieved distress, but the woods are
full of people who have no drawers
to wear in winter, and who would
faint away at sight ola roast of beef.
Gosh, l wish / had a million
dollars?"
80, what would you do with a
million dollars?'' asked the grocery
man, as he watched the tramp pick
his teeth with silver off the soap
box. eff you had a million dollars
you would buy dude suit Of clothes,
and a trotting wagon with red
wheels, and horse that could trot
in two ten. And you would part
your hair in the middle and wear
yellow gloves and say 'g-lang.'
That's the kind Of a millionaire you
would be-
sNo, sir! You are no guesser,"
said the boy, as he gave the tramp
glass of cider 81 would buy OUT
bakery and meat market, and
when poor people hadn't anything to
eat | would invite them to call on
Hennery. Then l would take a
hundred thousand dollars and 90
around paying months rent in
advance for people. If some peo-
Pile knew they would not be both
cred about paying rent for a month,
they would be SO happy they would
ache. Then l would buy ten thou
sand pairs of red flannel drawers,
regular old thick ones, all sizes, and
sell them to poor people and take
their notes for the pay. You see
some people wouldn't like to have
drawers given to them, but if you
took their notes they would feel as
though they bought the drawers, and
then you could have bonfire and
burn up the notes. But had rather
be able to work miracles than be a
millionaire. If | could take stones
and turn them into leaves of bread,
and water into wine, the way Christ
did, l would set up business at a
stone quarry and open free bakery,
and | would take the Milwaukee
river and make it into wine and tell
the poor people to help themselves.
1t would make the breweries sick,
but they could ship their beer to
Texas and Colorado. tell you,
what this country needs is fellow
that can make n bakery out of a
stone quarry by a simple turn of the
wrist, and / had rather have such a
Job than to be president. III could
turn hard heads into bread it would
be a picnic. l would take big
stone and go to the home of a pool
woman who had nothing to eat in
the house and tell her had brought
her some bread, and would hand
her stone as big as peck measure,
and she would see it was a stone,
and the tears would come to her
eyes, and she would look sorry be.
cause / was so mean, and then while
she was wiping her eyes on the I'M
der side of her apron l would touch
the stone with my magic wand, and
turn it into loaf Of salt rising bread,
or brown bread, with nansard ROOF
on, and the look the poor woman