The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1884-12-11

A Little Nonsense Now and Then 10 Rel
ished by the Wisest Men.
"Fe,l Through q Trap"


"Fe,l Through Trap"
Judge WIN Carter Of Sheboygan. and Judge
Caswell Marks OF Selma, were both natives OF
Lexington, Ky. In boyhood they had jam
med the same cats head Into the same mix
pitcher, stolen peaches from the same tree, got
lronnced by the same farmers, were otherwiSe
obviously intimate friends, afterwards chuns ~
college and then errand boys In the same olice'
Later In lie they parted and rose to sublime
honurs In their separate places. Last January
they met for the first time since their parting IN
Lexington, and brewed convivial nowi III
honor OF the event. About midnight, iull OF az
tecliun and enthusiasm, they retired IN inc same
bid. 1t was huge affair, standing IN the mid
die OF the room and capable Of being drawn up
by ropes to the ceiling while the room was be.
Ing cleaned. 1t was very cold night, ana
they placed their clothing upon the loot oi the
bed. just after they fell asleep, friends enter
ed softly, drew the bed by the ropes nearly 70
the ceiling, and left them thus suspended about
10 feet from the floor. They then locked the
door on the outside and retired.
All IN Judge Carter woke with that species
of thirst which usually comes after kentucky,
punch and technically known as mot copper.
Leaping lightly out Of bed to get the ice pitcher
he went whirling down ten feet, aiight'ng Win
u soul-stirring thump on all fOurs.
There was 4 long and painful pause. Then
he peered upward through the darkness and
called:
"Caswellv'
mo reply.l
| ooh, Caswellr"
Feeble cries
"Caz!"
"Ehi-um s-whatr The judge was awak.
| ening.
"I've fallen through trap. yelled the now
| affrghted Judge, "get up and light canoe.
"Where are you" aueriea Sn h sson wartSL
"Down here. Fell through q trap. Don't
| Qet out on my side OF the bed.
Gan right" And Judge Marks, springing
| out on his own side, turned three somerSaults
| and landed 'on the small OF his back. botn
were now convinced that they had fallen into
| den of thieves, and were possibly to he murder
ed. THE iokers had closed the heavy wooden
shutters. SO that no light could enter, and re.
moved all the furniture. The judges CROPPED
around on hands and knees, nearly frozen to
death, and only at day light discovered the bed,
| climbed into 1t and got warm enough to talk the
| thing over. -
There we're recently two temperance societies
| started under glorious auspices. The head.
quarters OF one Is at Selma, and the other at
Sheboygan.
| CONFUSING BUMPS.
First travelling phrenologist-"Cant You lend
me a dollar 7"
Second travelling phrenologlst- gracious
is that yon' Why you look all broken up
| Been sck!"
"No, but I've had bad luck
81 should say SO. Never saw you look so
seedy. Couldn't you attract an audience al
| your last town."
eyes, had big audience, and during be
lecture tried to read character ny the bumps as
| usual, but made SO many terrible blunders
that the people made me give them their none,
back and then they mobbed me"
"Made blunders can't understand that
You never failed to recognize bumps before
What could have been the lnatter g
"It seems the town had new roller skating
rink and every body was learned. lPhiiadel-
phia Call.
A Jersey city girls parrot has learned Il
make noise like the smack Of a kiss when tn
GIRLS beau calls. Knowing bird, that.
| A countryman who was on visit to friend
in Austin, saw gas burning for the first tint
in his life. He inquired where the gas cam'
from.
at passes all around, two feet underground,
replied the city friend.
| Some time after his return home, the coun
tryman wrote to his city friend:
| al have dug up the ground feet deep, al
around my place, but haven't yet been ablt
to find anv gasrbut got dead loades OF worm:
to go fishing with"
happy old Democrat in town near Bos
out his old Sl eh last Sunday, and was greet
ed with surp1se by acquaintances who hat
missed him II I'm the services for years. why
how does this hsppen !" asked one. swell,
answered the Democrat 1.-THE Lord has p.o
around onto the right side again, and though
best to give hrp my encouragement.
She had named FRIDAY Of the following weei
as the day for the wedding. "But Friday 10 a. =,
l ..oJx., do, - oil ooh IL IL y
she exclaimed; III had forgotten that: No, II
wouldn't do to be married on Friday" "How
would Sunday or Monday DOR suggested
George, tenderly. The girl hesitated and blush
ed a little. Then she said: IL think Thurs
day would be better, George"
Everyone knows the story Of a gentleman
asking Lord North who ''that frightfLl woman
was" and his lordship's answering: that II
INV wife" The other to repair his blunder
said: II did not mean her, but that mon
ster next to her." "Ohw said Lord North, 'tha
monster is my daughter. With this story Fred
| erick Robinson, In his usual absent, enthusl-
astic way, was one day entertaining lady
whom he sat next to at a dinner,and 10! the
lady was Lady Charlotte Lindsay-the monster
in question: Croaker Papers.
"Husband," said Mrs Smith, the other night
fixing her eyes significantly upon the 7-year-oic
pridc of the family, III am afraid you will have
w SoIiSSt JIMMY Az 1890 ~S~'-
| afternoon.
Husband (glancing over his paper)
has he been doingl"
"He took his Shawl-neck rooster over to Mrs
Jones', and Tom Jones got out his Black Span
ish and they let the poor creatures Tight for more
than an hour"
Husband STRENGTHENING up)-"Which one
whipped r-[ Macon Telegraph.
An Irishman who was very near-sighted.
about to fight duel, insisted that he should
stard six PAGES nearer his antagonist that he
| did to him and that they should both fire ut
the same time. This beats Sheridan's telling
fat man who was going to fight thin one that
the latter's slim figure ought to be chalked on
the others portly person, and il the bullet hit
| him outside the chalk mark 1t was to 60 for
no hing. tt Manchester Courtier.
The London correspondent of the American
| tParis) Register relates this An epicurean
/ bishop was neatly taken In by smart boy at
Banbury. Being DESTROYS OF tasting the FAM
/ Gus cakes, be beckoued to the lad to come to
/ him to the window Of the railway carriage, and
asked the price Of the cakes. "Threepence
each SIR" replied the boy. Giving him sixpence
| the bishop desired him TO bring one, and added.
| az he was running off "buy one for yourself
| with the other fhreepence." Presently the boy
returned munching his "BaRbury," and, hand
| ing threepence IN coppers to the bishop, announ-
| ced in the m ost ingenious manner, =" There
Was only one left, sir"
/
| Cen Sherman's Dilemma.