The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-10-02
HUMOROUS.

An elecurlc Spdrh-Souftiu9 ny te!5
graph.
Woman sufferage-After 30 and no
beau.
Very touching-The pressure of >
pretty girls hand.
The boat builder is apt to have all
his designs thwarted.
Figures don't "lie." but they stand
for great deal.
A door is sometimes a jar and an
earthquake always is.
An earthquake is like medicine that
must be shaken before it is taken.
Civil service-The kind you don't
get in the average decentralization
Post.
Earthquakes are very aristocratic-
at least they always belong to the up
per crust.
1t seems odd that flying debtor
should cross the ocean to avoid the
bill-owes.
Don't lie much on your left side"
says writer. No, if you must lie, dc
it on the winning side.
Jay Gould's income ia 81 minute,
and it is safe to guess that he never
lets his clock run down.
1t sends cold chill down the back
of bank president to find Canadian
guide book on the cashiers desk.
"But, said the serenaded man, Il
must 60 out and make a speech. Some
thing must be done to stop the playing
of that band"
"There is a sudden advance in leath-
err" remarked the youth who dived out
of the front door as the irate parents
boot reached after him.
"Do they dress well at your house?"
said one boarder to another. "Well,
the girls dress pretty well, but the
dressing of the salad is very poor"
There are two reasons why some
people don't mind their own business
One is that they haven't any business.
and the other is that they haven't any
mind.
A grisly sandwich sere with age,
Reposed upon wire cage
Within a railway beancry.
"Why art thou here? " asked weary pie,
Nudgng a tired egg on the ST.;
"Thou with thy wooden chips for bread
And rubber boot-sole twixt them sprcadt"
"Fm here, my friend, the sandwich said,
"To wreck internal machinery"
A lecturer said: "The roads up these
mountains are too steep and rocky for
even monkey to climb: therefore
did not attempt the ascent"
The Burlington Free Press says 1t IS
perfectly proper for married ladies to
dance. But is it proper for them to
make their husbands dance, as so many
of them do?
did you ever think what you would
do if you had the Duke OF Westmin-
ctar,s ;noopoa 9s aNo. hut hovn
sometimes wondered what the Duke
would do if he had nine"
The young lady who made seven
hundred words out of conservatory
last autumn has run away from home
Her mother wanted her to make three
loavt of bread out of flour"
An Indiana baby, born during ter
rible storm, has been named Cyclonia.
1t is just possible that in the coming
years her Ii lsband may think think the
name very appropriate.
Are those rolls fresh?" asked a
lady in bakery. "Of course they
are" snapped the young lady behini
the counter; everything in this shop
is fresh, tonight 1T does look tha.
way" gently responded the customer
$50 that's glazier. is itp' exclaim-
ed Mrs. Malaprop, as "glass puddin"
fellow passed by; "you don't say SOL
Well, I've often heard of their tumb
lin down mountain sides, and l won
dered if it didn't give 'em lots of panes,
an sure enough, it has"
80 you think John is becoming \
great man in the city?" said farmer.
speaking of his absent son to CON-
panion of the youth. Great mani ]
should say so. Why, there amt bar
keeper in the city hardly that he don't
call by his first name"