The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-03-01
Paralyzing the Barber.

questions he could think of, and, by the
way, what the regularly ordained bar
Der don't know about the weather, the
crops and politics would make pocket
edition that would feel lonesome in an
ordinary pocket. Saturday night, how
ever, a reporter, when taking his semi
weekly shave, overheard ~ series of
questions which decidedly reversed the
order. 1t was in basement barber
shop, one well known, and the shaver
and the shavedw were in positions to look
up into the street.
"Why don't you put acarpet on your
| Stairway" asked the customer.
1T would freeze fast and be spoiled
the first day" replied the barber.
"Why don't you use ashes, them"
"Ashes would track the floor up"
| "Then use salt
THAT wouldn't pay. 1t wouldn't
thaw the ice off till noon, and by that
time the sun gets around this way and
the ice disappears.
''What makes you have such queer
paper on the ceiling for your customers
to look at? Why the stars and moons
and all those queer designs make my
head dizzy. l fancy some people who
have stared at them for half hour go
out and fancy they have had an attack
of the ''iim jams. -
Don't the paper suit you, sir?"
modestly queried the astonished barber.
"Suits me well enough, but it might
not some people"
You're next" yelled out the barber
to youth who had Just come out Of
the bathroom.
"What is he next for?" asked the in
terrogation point in the chair.
That's our rule, )" said the barber.
"Queer rule-all right, though, | sup
pose" remarked the customer, in an
uhdertone.
"What do you call fair days work
for barber? How many men can
barber shave in dayP"
That depends"
depends on what?"
"Why the kind of barber he is. A
fast man might shave fifty or sixty men
in a day"
"Not more than that"
mot many more, l guess" answered
the petrified barber.
Poor business, isn't it? Why don't
| you yet OuJ Ol II
Il cant t get out of it very we'll"
"Why can't you? Don't you know
any other businessP"
"No.n
"NOw there is one thing I can't IN
derstand," began the man in the chair,
land that is why you BARRIERS always
comb mans hair up at the sides and
slick it down so that he looks like a two
cent chrome. Why don't you comb it
the way man combs it himself"
"Why, | don't know how they comb
it themselves, " protested the barber
Chen why don't you comb every
mans hair different? You fix every
man hair Just so, and man who has
any shame at all has to go to the glass
and fix it over himself. y
eve never complain of that" said
the barber, mildly.
go, but don't you? Don't you look
cross enough to eat man when he
does that? Don't deny it,
Il don't think | do.
go, yes you do Now, when I get
up and take down all those bangs and
rufles and spit curls you have fixed,
and all those little devices to coyer the
bald spot,you will scowl and will want
to kick the boy for brushing off my
coat. Say"
''What is it?" answered the barber
''What are you BARRIERS in such con
sternation about my head for?"
81 didn't know they were.
We'll, they are. Every time 1 come
in here to get shaved they FUN their
| Gnror, +broi,rrb nv, boiy npJ oslv ma a
| wouldn't like to have a shampoo
Well, when | say no, they take their
thumb nail, dig it along my scalp, and
after they have taken off some of the
skin they show it to me and tell me my
head is in fearful condition and to look
out for 'scaldhead.' What do they do
that for?"
Because there is money in it for
them, l suppose mildly replied the
barber.
"How much do you get out of it?"
"Why, that depends"
son what?"
"Why, what kind of a contract they
make with their employer. Most of
them charge thirty cents and keep ten
for themselves"
| ~ NOu hllON NuGbU illI 2OluS W w
the next time barbertries that on mep"
No"
"Well, l am going to wrestle with
him and hang his hide on the fence"
"Have some bay rum?" queried the
barber.
mo, strictly temperate.
"Sea foam?n
Not any, thank you; no meerschaum
in mine"
"Borax on your face?"
''How did it come therep"
''lmean do you want some on to keep
the skin SMOOTH"
"Why, is my skin rough?"
" Not particularly. Do you use
chalk?"
mo, but if you will tell me how
much it all is I'll chalk up"
Its only ten cents, but ought to
charge you ten dollars"
''Why?"
''For answering your questions"
elbow much would you give me to
answer your questions? The next time
| come in you ask the questions. Good
night, and he winked at the boys who
sat waiting, and after pulling his ears
to get the lather off walked out-BuE
tdto Courier. t .,.,. -....
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