Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1884-12-16
NUMBER 80.
THE RAD ROY.

looking At hole 10 the noor until bis eyes
we're set like dying horse. what you
thiaking OF, any w.yf IL seems 10 me boys
set sroand aud thlek more than they Used
n when I vas hoy" aud the grocery man
sru.hed the wilted lettuce and shook ~,
ani tried to make II stand up sta and
crisp. before he pat IL out doors, but the
contrary lettdcs, which had been picked
the day b~fore. looked 80 Tired that the
boy noticed H.
That l-ttuce rsmlnis me OF gifl. Yet.
terdsy vas In here when II vas nsw, Ike
the girl going 10 the picnic. AMI Il was a.
fresh, and proud. and starchei no, aud
klttsny, sni full Of life, and a. sassy - q
girl starting oat for picnic. aud llke the
girl. the starch IL all taken Oat, and 10 Is
timber, aud lsnguii, aud tired, AMI can't
stand 90 alone, and IL looks a. though u
wanted 20 be laid at rest beside The rotten
apples In the alley, rather than be set oat
Ia trout of q store ~ be sold "a. honest
people. and give them the ssngrene o: the
liver" and The boy pat on Health Con.
missioner air that frightened the grocery
mao. aud be threw the lsttaee oot OF the
back door.
"You never mind a,out my lettsee,"
said the grocery man. IL can attend 10
my sfdrs bat nov tell me what yoa
we're thinking about here al, the. morn
log
II W.. thinking what fool King Solo
moo was, said the boy with the air OF one
Who has made q statement that has got 20
be argued pretty strong 10 make u aoli
water.
Now, look . here. said the grocery
man Ia anger. II have stood u 10 have
you play tricks on me long enough. and
have listened 20 your condemned foolish
mes. without q murmur a. long A. you
have confned yoarsef 20 people now Inv.
ing. hat when you attack solomon. the
ylsest man, the great klng. aud call him Q
fool, friendship ceases, snd you must get
out Of this store. Solomon In all his Ory
4. friend of mine. and no fool BOY IL going
to abuse him N my presence. Vow yoa dry
up
"sit down on the Ice boz" said the ooy
20 the grOceryman. what you neec is
rest You are overworked iour alleged
brain IL equal % wllted lettuce and 10 eau
devise ways and means % hide rotten
peaches under good ones, so A. ~ sell
them % blind orphans. bot when II cones
70 grasplng great questions, your small
braln cannot comprehend them. Year
braln may.go up sideways 10 great qlss.
ton. and rob against 10, bat IL cannot sur
round IL, and grsspit That II where you
are dsformed Now IL 1. diffcrvut with me.
I can raise brain % sell ~ you grocery.
men. Llstsu. Tots solomon Is credited
With belng the wlse.t man. and yet history
.ay. he had q thousand wives. Just Thick
1 uUIf ~ hfL4
got one. and all TIE nelghbOrs have ons,
n they have bad any klod Of luck. DJe-
no, one wife make you pay attention
wouid't two wives bresk you api Woaldn
three cause you ~ see stsrsf Ho" would
ten strike your Why, msn slise. you DO
not grasp the magnltude OF the statement
that solomon hai a thousand wives,
.t.ndlng side by side, would reach about
four blocks. Marching by fours Il would
take them twenty minutes 20 pass given
polnt The large-, sumner resort hotel
ouly hold. about 500 persons. 80 Sol would
have had 10 hire two hotel. II he took his
sives out fJr day Ia the country. ifyou
would stop and think once 10 q while you
soald know more"
Ths grocery mans eyes had begun 70
stick DOT a. the bad boy cOutlourd, a.
though the statistics hal never been
htuu sht % his attention b,fors. nut be wa'
boaud 10 stand ny bis oil fiirnd solomon,
and he said "wsll. sDlomou's wives must
have been different from oar wives OF The
present day"
"Not much" said the boy, ss he saw be
sas paralyzlng the grocery man. "Wo'
men have been about the same ever since
Eve. She got mashed on The old Original
daie. and IL stanis % reason that Solo
mons wives were no better than the mo-
ther OF the human race. Statistics show
one woman out OF ten Is rcd-headed. That
would give solomon al even hundred red
headed wives. Just that hundred red
headed wives would be enough 10 msk'
an ordlaary man think that there was
land that il falrer than this. Theu
there would be-, oat Of the other nine hun
hr,d. aoou, three handrvd bloDd-, and tb'
other slx HUNDRED would be Duruettes, abC
mapbe he had q fcs AlDln0s aud bearded
women. and fat women, and dwsrfs- Vow
those thousand women bad appctite-, de
-lre- for dress sud style. the sam. A. al
women. Imagine solomon saying 70 them
"Glrl., lets all 20 down 10 The Ice cream
saloon aud have q dish OF Ice cream
Can you, with your brain muidled will
coidsh and new POTATOES, realize the seem
that would followi Suppose, aftsr Solo
nous broom brigade had got seated in th'
ice creamery, one OF the red headed wlyel
should catch solomon winklng AZ strsng'
Girl another table. Yoa may think Solomon
dld not know enough 10 wink. or that b
va. no, that klnd OF firt. bat he mus
have been OF be could never have succeed
"a In marrying . thousand wives In
.par.ley settled country. No, sir, II look
20 me As though solomon 10 al bis glory
va. An old masher. aud from what l hsy
seen OF men being bo-s.d around with on
wife. don't envy solomon his thousand
WHY. lust imagiue that gang Of wives 20
lng and ordering fall bonDets solomol
would have To be q Alag or Vanderbilt 4
.t.nd IL Ma wears hse dollar silk stock
Ing.. and pa kicks awfally when the bl
comes Ia. Imagine solomon puttiug U
for q few thoassnd pair OF silk stockings
am Glad YOU will sit down aud rcaso
with me tn q rstionL way sboat some q
these Bihle stories that take my brest
AWAY. The minister sends me OF when
try 10 talk with hin about such things, an
tells me 20 study the parable OF the Prod
gal Son, and the descons 10 soak my heal
There IL darn little encouragement for
BOY TO try and figure out things. Hot
would you like 10 have Q thousand re
headed wives come into the store thl
minute and tell you they wanted you
send carriages around ~ the house at thr,
O'Clock, so they could go for . driver Q
how would you like ~ have Q hired gi
, come running In aud tell you to send Y
six hundred doctors because six hundre
OF your wives bad been taken with eholeI
morba.i Or"
10. don't mention IT," said the grocer
man, with q shadder. IL w,uldn't tai
solomon's place, aud be the natural pr
tector OF . thousand wives II spyood
would give me the earth. Think OF ge
,lpg up 10 cold wlnter morning and bull
/ log . thousand nrcs. THINK OF two tho'
sand pair Of hands In fellows hair Bo
i. you have shown me that Solomoa needle
gusrdizn over him. lie didn't ha'
sense"
"Yes," said the boy. and think OF "
I. | thousand feet, each one ~ cold - orie
OF chocolate Ice cream. A man wou
vsnt q bach as big a. the fence To q 70
ground. But doat want 10 harrow I
. your feelings. I must 60 and pot sou
e sruica on par. lie has go, home, and "a!
: he has been IN . sumner resort on vac
tiou, aud he IL all covered with blotche
lie says 10 is mosquito bites, bot ma thin