Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1884-05-22
Humorous and Otherwise.

thC uoCtoi. wen, uOlt hIlOW eN-
actly, but suppose it was purgery."
No longer question of opinion, we
guarantee every box of Acker's Dys-
pepsia Tablets. Price, 35c. and 50 Gm
The world will never progress far
enough to believe that mans black
eye was caused by anything less than a
mans fist.
What will stop my coughing at night?
Guarantee Acker's English Remedy
will. Price 10c. &c. and 81. 6m
There are 5000, 900 to 80, 100000 hats
made annually i'm this country, and
when a man is the last to leave party,
he generally gets the worst one.
An old nurse says: Acker's English
Remedy is best for coughs, Group, diph-
liberia, or bronchitis. Sold by J. l.. &
l. Leist. 6m
"SOlid comfort" can be realized by
those suffering from all forms of scrof-
ula, if they will take Hoods Sarsapar-
lila and be cured.
Out of print-the letter B. Greatly
i'm demand the letter d. Never out
of office--the letter I. Forever in bed
E. Always in drink, but never intoxi-
cated-K.
George Campbell, Hopkinsville, KY,
says: Burdock Blood Bitters is the best
preparation for the blood and stomach
ever manufactured.
A Michigan man has trained his cat
to visit grocery and steal Mackerel
| for him. And yet writers on natural
history claim that Michigan men have
no intelligence.
Beware of frauds.-Be sure you get
the genuine DR.. Thomas Eclectrc Oil.
1t cures colds, Group, asthma, deafness
and rheumatism.
"An' that's the pillar of Hercules?"
she said, adjusting her silver spectacles.
"Gracious, what's the rest of his bed
clothes like, wonder"
A thorough course of Acker's Blood
Elixir will remove all taint from the
blood. 1t cures Scrofula, Ulcers, Bols
and Pimples. Sold by J. l.. & I. Leist.
6m
A Burlington boy sent for fifty cent
watch and received a sun-dial. He has
named it Faith" because faith without
works is dead.-Burlington HaUkeye.
The poet says: "In the world man
must be either anvil or hammer" He
was wrong, however. Lots of men are
nothing but bellows Chicago Tribune.
Yu will observe this, the devil never
offers to go into partnership with
bizzy man, but yu will often see him
offer to ,jine the lazy, and furnish all the
capital besides.-Josh Billings.
Carter's Little Liver Pills will posi-
lively cure sick headache and prevent
it's return. This is not talk, but truth.
One pill dose. To be had of all drug
gists. She advertisement. ma22-lm
Mike: ats the Irish that does all
the inventing in these days sure"
Jonathan: "Irish be hanged! the Irish
don't invent anything to speak of.
Americans invent everything." Mike:
'.Thin perhaps yez can tell me why the
Irishmans name, Pat, is always next to
the date ON all the new inventions.
Not an American name can you find
on one, at all at all.n
This extreme tired feeling we have in
the spring, fall and during summer de-
notes torpid liver; we have no appetite
and no ambition. Take DIR. Jones' Red
Glover Tonic; it corrects these troubles,
restores good spirits. 1t speedily cures
dyspepsia, bad breath, piles, pimples,
ague and malaria diseases. A perfect
tonic, appetizer and blood purifier. Can
be taken by the most delicate. Price so
cents ofD. J. Humphrey.
In Nashville, Tenn, a handsome
house has lately been completed of
which prominent decorative feature
is the stained glass in the windows. A
certain darkey, who was very proud of
having been engaged in humble way
in the construction, was overheard to
observe to a companion, II tell you
what Jack, dat ar house got sometin' in
it no odder house in dis town got. It's
got a chronic in cherry winder."
Hoods Sarsaparilla
Is designed to meet the wants of those
who need a medicine to build them up,
give them an appetite, purify their
blood, and oil up the machinery of their
bodies. No other article takes hold of
the system and hits exactly the spot
like Hoods Sarsaparilla. 1t works like
magic, reaching every part of the hui
man body through the blood, giving to
all renewed life and energy. 81 bot
tie; six for S..
A Brooklyn woman said to her SER
want girl, fresh arrival on the latest
boat from Cork: Bridget, 60 out
and see if Mr.. Block, the butcher on
the corner, has pigs-feet." The duti-
full servant went out and returned.
"Wel, what did he say?' asked the
mistress. Sure, he said nuthin,
num- HAS he got pigs feet?'
Faith | couldn't see mum-he had
his boots on. N. Y. Commercial
Advertiser.