Morning journal and courier., 1884-11-22
CORNED.

Is the poet who writes cheerful songs a cheer-up- -ode-ist?
 1 It is said elders sweetest when its strawed 1 through the bung and the stolen kiss is rich 1 est when the maiden's head is hung. Locality Ethel-FfOh, mamma, I've got I such pain!" Mother-"Where, dear?' l Ethel Ca refined child(- (-''In my sash, mann 1 ma. ."-London Judy.
 If anything was wanting to prove John Mccullough off his mental base his action yesterday ought to settle it." <'What did l he do yesterday!' ''Went to St. Louis. "- l Chicago News.
 There is $40, 600, 900 of unclaimed money ! now in the vaults of the United States treas | ury. Perhaps that is where all the money 1 from delinquent subscribers goes to.-Phila- delphia Call.
 Sleepless people, says Health and Home, should court the sun. We need hardly re- 1 mark that courting the daughter has ten dency to increase sleeplessness, especially in l the case of the old man.-Boston Globe. In a western town: F'Heard you had lit 1 tie fuss with Joe Smith the other day" ''Yes, we did have spat. You see he ! drawed shooter on me-" Had any trouble l is he now9 ?" "Dead p "Oh !'-Boston Post.
 They had been quarreling about his next | summers clothes. She wanted to have his
 gh nad he Tanted ss oaHie hsaTar su Whats WI % the 1 use of fighting about this?" he said, finally. l ''I may be in the cemetery next summer. , l q think" she replied, ''you will need your
 summer clothes wherever you may be.'- 1 Graphic
 1 "Wife, I wish you could make pies that would taste as good as my mothers used 1 to-" ''Well, my dear, you run out and bring | in pailful of water and hodful of coal and
 an armful of wood, just as you used to for l your mother, and maybe you will like my pies as well'' He concluded the pies would | do just as they were.-Chicago News. 1 'tIs that brake hard to handler" asked a
 young man on the front platform of a Broad 1 way car, of the driver. ''No," responded l that person. FfIs that whistle hard to blow?'' 1 again interrogated the youth. ''No," grufiy l responded the driver. ''What is the hardest | thing to do on a street car?" Answering g 1 fools questions, 'replied the driver.-Drakes s 1 Travellers Magazine.
 Burglars entered house in which there
 had just been 8 wedding and the father of l the bride got up and crept down stairs. The l slight noise, however, frightened the burglars i away. 'fThank heaven p muttered the old gentleman as he surveyed the scene of devas l tation. They've stolen all the wedding presents, but they've taken the wedding cake, too"-Burlingto Free Press!
 "You can come in now," said the family 1 physician to the head of the house on tht l north side. "What are the returnsF
 "Three-two girls and one boy" 'I want a1
 official count, doctor. I don't want any '7t
 business in this.' ''Don't be foolish, man. 1 ''I tell you I shall suspect fraud until there is an official canvass.' Then he apologizeC
 to the doctor, saying that he had been so en grossed in politics that he had forgotten where he was.-Chicago Herald.
 l The days are growing drear,
 l The Sombre woods are sere,
 | And all the air is misty, moist and murky: | While, with unwonted vim | Upon the highest limb,
 | Sereney roosts the wise Thanksgiving turkey. 1 New York Journal.