The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1884-08-08
The Gopher Club of Crescent City.

Editor PALATKA NEWS:
Sojourning a week or 50 ago at Cres-
cent City, in this county, had the pleas
ure of making the acquaintance of
several very clever young gentlemen,
and on days hunt showed them what
a good marksman is by shooting the bill
off of hundreds of gallinippers with my
skeleton rifle. In camp at evening, we
discussed many subjects, and amongst
them I referred to the Palatka Clabber
Club as the representative body of the
utmost yeracity.
Upon this, these gentlemen told me
quite privately, of a secret society called
g The Gopher Club" and invited me to
attend a meeting to be held few nights
later at Crescent City. [ had to swear
not to reveal anything of the proceed
ings or the membership of the club, but,
Mr.. Editor, you know how it is with
newspaper scribblers.
So on Friday night at about 10 p. m,
Jack Main and John Burton took me on
their wagon and, driving through the
numerous streets, we stopped at a small,
dark-loolzing house with red blinds.
Jack walked up to the door and, on
knocking three times with both fists and
the left leg, the door opened, showing
long, dark passage, with door on the
other end. The same ceremony was re-
peated, only the use of the right leg was
necessary. The door opened and daz-
cling light blinded my eyes for a mo-
ment. [ must state here that the follow
ing are true copies of notes [ made on
my paper cuffs:
Along the walls of the room We're can
dies stuck on the backs of small gophers.
In the middle was a table entirely made
of gopher backs, and the members, of
which five were present, sat with solemn
faces on gopher seats. Jack made the
regular countersign, showed me forward
and introduced Sir Charles Chiffon
Woodnough, of Gopher, Mount, the pres
ident of the club Mr.. w. is short,
stout Englishmen, with a light NOUS
tache and side boards, wears a velvet
suit, patent leather slippers and riding
whip Next to him sat the Hon. E. f.
Ames, vice-president, also a Britisher,
who stands 6 feet 10 inches in his stock
| ing feet, and beats bean pole all to
pieces. He turns out in knee breeches,
wooden stockings and shoe fifteen
inches long. These gentlemen are the
| founders of the club. If l remember
right, the original idea comes from At
RIGA, when Woodnough hunted elephants
and ran races with the antelopes Ames
shot birds in Egypt and dug for gophers
under the great pyramids. Besides these
two, we recognize Bob. Burton and
Charles Benham.
Now. the bylaws of this club require
each member to furnish alternately
every week gopher, weighing not less
than ten pounds and have it prepared in
to soup. 1t was Benham's turn to fur
nish the gopher soup on this particular
night, and it was dish for the gods.
special relish was several hundred eggs
cooked in with the soup Benham re
lated how he happened to have this ex
ira fine specimen. He said: Il haC
been hunting for the gopher for severa
days, till yesterday, early, saw this fel
low, preparing to lay eggs l sneaket
up to him and, just when he let go thu
/ I cl,nH,oI hot o,,1 G,
caught them all. When it was done
picked eggs and gophers up, glad to hav'
succeeded so admirably"
Business transactions were in order
and one member handed in complain
for treachery against John Burton, VIII
failed last time to furnish the requiSit
gopher, and was, according to bylaws
fined SO, which amount is to be spen
for charitable purposes, such as buying
peanuts, candy sticks, dates, etc. AS
appeared, John, instead of using the 81
as set down by the club, walked to hi
cousins store and hooked the peanut
and dates and pocketed the money. TIL
question what to do with him was re
ferred to a committee.
A very hot discussion was created b.
a resolution being entered to cleo
tom" and Jimmy for honorar
members, the two having furnished tn
club with numerous gophers, an
brought in as many as a dozen per day
tom was finally put on the honor
airy list, but s. Jimmy ON account of hi
youth, was rejected. Here the presiden
caught me making my notes on the pa
per cuff, and 1 was effectually put on
doors. But this is not the end of it,
know now where the meetings are heiC
and next time VIII be in the Gimme
or some other place to report the Pre-
ceedings. RUD.
A Story of Mexican Stupidity.
A church was lately built at Lagos, o
{ the main line of the Mexican Central Raj