The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1884-09-03

would seem 20 indicate that goldfish /
sometimes grow to IS great age as /
spring chickens
Il came up here to get the air."
said q city schoolma' am. who had en-
gagged board At a Vermont mountain
farm house Well by gosh. you
won't get himF' remarked the son of
the family. soto voice. as he picked up
the milk pail and went out to milk
r. T. Star.
1t il reported that the wife Of
prominent New York politician viii
sue for a divorce. The cause Is not
stated. but il Is strongly suspected that
che saw her husbands portrait printed
in a rural newspaper under the head OF
MEN Of the Hour.
A Chicago lawyer has written q
poem entitled my Conscience, " which
is said to be the best thing he ever
wrote. This reminds us that an an
Gent scribe once said that poems
written Of little things are the best. =
Tonker3 Statesman.
A correspondent writes US that the
/ subjOined queries and replies recently
occurred in Sunday-school: Teacher
/ How many men have you read OF by
/ the name Of james, Scholar-Two.
Teacher What were their names?
I Scholar-Frank and Jesse.
/ Physicians say that when man loses
his brains he can't live; but all the
same some low-forehead young men in
New York have taken to the fashion of
wearing bangles and bracelets. Their
parents will have the sympathy of all
sensible people. -Norristot0B Herald
% mamma, if Won viii believe it, :"
laughed pretty girl on her return
from the picnic, 1.-THE boat jolted as we
touched the wharf and threw me right
into the lap of a Young gentleman
Why" was the Mortified rejoinder.
what did you do?'' IL asked him
II he would please excuse my landing
little prematurely.
One OF the terrible small boys:
Docs your head ever swim. Mr.. sniff
kinsP" asked little Tom POpinjay OF
his sisters beau. "Yes. Tommy, l
suffer occasionally from dizziness. - re-
piled the slim. Il thought So" said
Tommy. PA said he'd pitch you into
the horse pond only your head would
keep you from sinking
Good morning. BIifkins; how are
the good Mrs. b. and the little b. s?'
First rate, jenkins. / have Just re-
, ceiyed letter from my wife, who is al
Old Orchard with the children, saying
AT last we are at the seashore and are
perfectly at home 80 are my
family" "What, staying at the sea.
shore?' mo, staying at home"
, What do you suppose is the MOTIF
q Of our new ladies society,"" asked
, Mrs. Blobsou of her husband. ''Giv'
. II up. " said Mr.. i. No, it isn't,
! said Mrs. Blobsou, Indignantly. lit
\ never mind. First rate!" ex
. claimed Blobson. Suppose you try j
: on, once in 4 while, when come HON,
late from the club-will you?"-Bur
.ilgt0B Free Press.
, 80 you struck the man because h
!, called YOU n liar?' said the Polio
I, Judge Yes, sir. Prom which
> am 70 infer that you were not liarP'
.Oh. no, 1 was liar, and am yet.
! / mad not been liar l should hav
i paid no attention 10 the fellows re
1 marks. Truth is 50 scarce, Judge, tina
i when ] hear it / can't keep down m
enthusiasm. "-lrkanSdJO TfdUcl'er.
r 4 bold, bad man at San Jose kisse
= iour young ladies IN the same house
% and aitcrward had his nose broken b
Eat-iron thrown by one Of the Girl
while he was passing along the pave
d ment This is why we always walk
e the middle of the street. Later
10 now appears that the missile wa
le thrown BY servant girl who was ovel
looked by the kisser. This comes {
N unjust discrimination.
The girl with soft grey eyes an
ripping brown hair, who walked a
u over your poor. Auttering heart at IL
~ charity bail. has just finished a Graz
quilt containing 1,064 pieces of necl
u ties and hat Innings, put together wit
u, $3.50 stitches. And her poor ol
u father fastens on his suspenders with
y long nail, n piece Of Irvine, a shar
IL stick, and one regularly ordained bu
ton.-Burlington HaWkeye.
In Calumet, Mich, few days ago
u circus was passing On one of ii
wagons sat a woman holding a switC
in her hand, in front of her stood
e, tiger, and in front of the tiger was ii
1t driver. not five inches away from Il
l, animals nose. II wouldn't like to |
d in that fellows place. remarked OF
l. of the crowd. "Oh, he's all right,
l. replied another; 1.-THE tiger has trie
& him and don't like the flavor"
i Il can't keep my girls from CHM
j. ing cherry trees" writes an anxiol
q mother; ''what shall / do about it?
e Well, mother, you can tie them TO Il
70 bedpOst or TO your apron-string, b
IS our advice is, Let 'em climb.
$ doesn't cost any more to set a girl
y arm or leg than boys, and, besid
"a girls can climb as well as boys, ar
"a when they grow up their climbing c
l. pacities will be appreciated. -Sprin
g feld Mass CiiioR.
~ A bright child occupies a brief spa
20 in the Sharon Springs correspondent
- of the Albany J9urndL He had be-
IA taken to fashionable watering pIa
=. =. for the first Time and was mu,
- shocked at the worldiness that he sa'
- Finally he asked: Mother, do s
- children go to heaven when they die!
- Yes, my son" A look of perplexC
- inquiry came into his eyes, and
- sadly repeated "GH of them?" UpC
:. receiving second assurance to Il
= same effect, he drew q deep sigh ar
- sympathetieally whispered. +" Pc,
= Dod!'
!. Four-year-old Maud lives in Milto
q on a small farm. Yesterday her fat
Of er found a skunk under the barn ar
d killed it. When he came into the houl
Of he smelled so bad that his wife dro1
In him upstairs to change his clothes b
10 fore she would let him come to suppe
n After he had gone Maud said: MAN
le did God make skunks?" ''Yes, dea
r. Why?" when he got the last or
1t done did Mrs. God make him chang
20 his clothes before he went to work {
-e Adam and the pretty garden with Il
le flowers in itP"-BoSt0n Globe.
,e Aren't you laced rather tight"
I'd said to an acquaintance on whom
d called in the morning at an hour whe
Or women usually relax the bonds ,
II corsage. She wore q tight-fttiui
10 pointed bodice Of q kind which. q
h though in itself calculated to make Ii
70 waist look smaller than it is, was
e this instance drawn down to the meas
s crest possible girth. ''Yes, I'm MIC
g cut in two" she replied frankly; '6l
70 the fact is that our rooms are so sma
Of that feel must economic space.
Re wore blouse bodice yesterday, 4
le you know, and it just seemed /;
/ though 1 filed the parlor chock up.
Clara Belle.
A belle was about to start for Sar,
E. toga. She had peered into the baggae
If room to see that her trunks wei
e there She came back in agitation
= ''Blest if I'll ever believe a line / res
q again." she said. The paper sal
d there was q new law forbidding an
Is body to smash baggage. It's Ii.
)t One Of my trunks cut there's got Il
.s lid whaeked right of Icouldnst say