The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-11-08
THE TAD Dox.
fPp.kA Sun.l

WM WG000k1 04v8k c001& 18400 tho grocsrymaa sf she bod boy. al understand yoar taahE is going to sfazs out as . hook agene.s
 .yes, vcaasss have csassd" said she boy, e he laugAed all over his fAc& fa amt soing to es . book agent He Aas
 "Weli, he is nighiy changsahls,s 2 ssid the groceryman. The minister tad nc only last night that he had got your pa the agency of the book called the Essiy Christian Aaysyrs,' and hs hoped he would do veil. What's the matssrs Doat your pa like the book P
 @Oh, the book is all right but ycu better wait until pa sees the minister, and youn zee . scrapping match You see the minister told pa tkst the business ol selling bosks on subscription vas the hardest business that was going, the agent received % many rebufis, and dis coufagemeats, and sometimes assaulss. He told pa that the only way was to make up his mind to stand anything that came along, like . marsyr, and fl he was reviled to smile, and if he vas struck to pray for the person who assaulted him, and not to lose his temper under any cir cumstancex- Pa came home and said ae vas going to have rehearsal that night, on selling books, and he had invited the minister and the deacon's wife and soo to come over and help. When they all got over to our house pa explained that he wanted to appear to be perfect stranger to us all, and he would ring the bell and come in to sell a book, and he wanted us to treat him in as bad q man. ner as we ever heard of book agent be- ing treated. and not show any mercy as all, and if he could stand tt without get ting mad he thought he would make . success as book agent. Well, you'd . dide if you had been there. Pa vent out on the step with book under his arm, and rung the bell, and the minister who was bossing the job, told the hired girl to go to the door. and if he was book agent % tell him the family didn't want any books, and slam the door in his face. The girl, who is an Irish girl, went ,o the door and pa bowed lo.itely, and asked her If she was the lady of the house, and told her she was looking charming. That made the girl mad, cause she is the homeliest looking girl in the world, and she knows i,, and ii made ma mad when she heard pa ask the girl if she was the lady of the house. "Phat do yer want?" said the girl, and as pa tried to edge in to the door with his book she said, Get out of that ye burgling div,l,' and she shut the door on pas coat tail and came back into the parior, and we all had a big laugh al pa. Some of us poeked through a window, and pas coat tail was caught in such way he couldn't reach the bell handle 10 ring again, SO he had to take off his coat, and when the bell rang again ma went to the door, and found pa in hts shirt sleeves. and when he asked ma if she was the hired girl, ma slammed the door in his face so hard it Aattened his nose pA was getting mad. We knew of the bell. The minister went to the door, and pa said, Are you the man of the houser and the minister said he was, and pa said it was no such darned thing, and the minister said he didn't wan, any impudence from no tramp. and pa said he wasn't no tramp, and he could whip aay man that said he was a tramp, and then he happened to think that was no way to sell book, so he began to talk about his book of Martyrs. He had got into the hall, and the minister asked him if his book of Martyrs included Blaine and Cleveland and the James brothers, just to zee if pa would get mad. and pa said the minister va. a con. demned fool, and the minister said if pa didn't quit being impudent he would call ek kA sk .-A the street. Well, pa said he could sves- lastingly mock the stufiag out Of all the servants in that house, and the minister called the deacons son and me to help him, and ve grabbed him by his collar and pants, and ve made him walk turkey out doors and down the steps, and we left him there. l gusse pa vas mad enough to have thYowed rocks through the win dows, only . policeman came along and asked pa what the row was. Q pa he smiled and said they were just having some fun, and the policeman pulled pas coat collar down of the top of his head, tucked hfs shirt ir around the waist, and gave him his hat, and went on, and pa he got to studying how. to commence again. The minister said when pa rung the bell again it was best for the hired girl to throw a teakeftle of hot water on him.
 Ma wouldn't hear to hot water, % they compromised on water with the chill taken of. He rung again, and the girl tosk the teakettle and opened the door and soused him. thought ve would ali die laughing, ss pa came in the door with the water running down on the carpet. He vasnt going to be mad, until he sa~ us all laughing, and the deacop's wife said, Hello, Mir. Book Agent, been in swimming. heyr That setfled pa. He vent in the kitchen and got couple of paiIs of water, and he came back and soused the minister and the deacon's wife, and then picked up . shot gun and said, Clear out, every condemned one of you, or III blow the tops of your heads od !" and they cleared The min isser vent through the back kitchen and over the fence, and pa put charge of bird shot right into the fence, just below where his pants was, and the minister