The National tribune., 1884-01-03
An Imminent Attack.

Several days ago a small conyoeation,
calling itself National Christian Conven-
tion,n met in Philadelphia and gravely
passed resolutions declaring the Grand Army
Of the Republic to be an insidious, dan
gerous and useless form of secret organiza-
tion.o
A number Of comrades have written to us,
evidently expecting The TRIBUNE to chal-
lenge this declaration. We have so far said
nothing, because when we fight we are will
ing to take some one of cur size.
This Christian Association is such stray
Cling, starved affair that an attack upon it
would be like firing round of grape and
canister at line of telegraph poles.
This organization must not be COMPOUNDED
with the Christian, or Campbellite Bap-
tist," church, very numerous and respecta-
bic religious denomination, especially strong
in the States Of West Virginia, Ohio Indiana
and Kentucky. This Illuminating body
which met at Philadelphia, circles around
its center of gravity at the village OF
Wheaton, Illinois, which was kept in q state
of turmoil for years by the vindictive tenn
1 per of the leader of the association. The
organization is microscopic in proportions,
and is composed entirely of men who have
passed their lives opposed to something.
They have never found chance to be for
anything Their argument consists in In
yective, vituperation and resolutions, COM
pared with which the Popes bull against
the comet was grave and orderly matter.
If pressed to an issue, this attack upon
the Grand Army would result about as seri-
ously as Don Quixote's charge upon the
windmills. Cervantes, in his famous work
of fiction, tells the history Of a poor country
gentleman whose brain was 50 befogged by
constant reading Of tales Of knight errantry
that he imagined he was ordained to revive
the order and go about setting the world to
rights. Furnishing up an ancient coat Of
mail, mounted upon an old broken down
horse which he christened Rosinante, and,
accompanied by a half-witted peasant
named sancho Panza, for squire, he sailed
out in quest Of adventure.
The author tells the story as given below
The knight says:
Fortune disposes our affairs better than we our
selves could have desired look yoiider. frienc
Saneho Panza, where you may discover soneyh he
more than thirty n1onstrous giants, with whom in
tend to fight and take away ali their lives and viii
whose spoiis we wiz begin 10 enrich ourselves
for s. is lawful war and doing God good service Il
take away so wicked a generation from off thl
face Of the earth"
What gianisen answered Sancho Panza.
Those you see yonder,' answered his master
with those long arms, for some OF them ar
wont 10 have them almost Of the length of tw,
leagues
Consider, SIR answered Saneho, that thos
which appear yonder are not giants but windnlills
and what seem 10 be arms are sails, which whirle
about By the wind make the milestone CO."
One may easily see,'' answered Don Quixotc
that you are not versed IN the business of adven
lures they are giants aud II you are afraid &c
aside and pray whilst ] engage with them in
fierce and unequai combat
So saying. he clapped spurs TO Rosinante with
cut nlinding the cries his squire sent after him
assuring hin that those he went 10 assault wer
. without ali doubt windInis, and not giants. Bu
be was 50 fully possessed that they We're giant
that ne neither heard the outeries OF his squire
sancho, nor yet disecrned what they were, thong
be was very near them. but went on crying aloud
Fly not We towards aud vile caitifFs, for il is
single knight who assaults YOU"
Now the wind rose little and the great sal
] began 10 move; which Don Quixote pereeivin,
: be said, -" Well. though you should move MOI
arms Than the giant BTaFens you shall pay for it.
> 50 saying. and recommending himself devoutl
/. 10 his lady Dulcinea, beseeching her to succol
him in @he present danger being well oovere
, with his buelzler and setting bis lance in the res
}, lac rushed on as fast as Rosinante could gallo,
aud attacked Tie first mill before him; and ri1
ming his lance into the sail. the wind whirled
about with 60 much violence. that it broke the Ian,
into shiyeTs dragging horse and rider after IT, an
tunlbiing them over and over on the plain in yel
evil plight
sancbo Panza llastened TO his assistance rs "a
as ais ass could carry him; and when he came l
10 him, lac found him not able 70 stir. so yiole
was the blow lie and Rosinante had received
d falling.
E Veterans of the Grand Army, you ca
e laugh at such attacks as this.