The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-09-05
WHY WE LAUGH.

n ~ PSfs'SS NV oN
If the boy Is father of the man, the mans
father is frequently nuisance.
"a house full Of boarders for sale," reads
an advertisement in Boston paper.
An Irish lover remarked: ats q very
great pleasure TO be alone, especially when
your sweetheart is wid ye."
There is town 10 Illinois SO rigidly tenn.
perate that they object to storm brewing
in the eighborhood.-The Eye.
The woman who thinks the sun revolves
around her husband ought to see him when
she Is away summering.-RoIbury Adro.
cate.
LA, meIn sighed the old lady, shines do
change. They now wear kids on their hands.
When / was a child they wore out their
hands Oh the kids"
A man arrived In New York few days
ago with $3.50 accordions. And yet the
English make great fuss II little dynamite
happens to go of on the island.
"Phwat wud Oi want wild bicycle ?" said
the ancient IrIshman TO the boys who had
been chatting him. "Bedad ORD as soon
walk afoot as tide afoot !-LopeH Cttizen.
Gimlet-By the way, was mistaken about
Olesou. Auger-In what particular? Gim-
let--You recollect said he was Sweden.
boreian. Auger--Yes. Gimlet--Well, he's
Norwegian.
A young gentleman wishes TO know which
Is proper to Say Oh leaving q young lady
friend after a late call-good night or good
evening? Never tell a lie, young man. Say
good morning Darlington Free Press.
$50 you are finally married ?" "Over three
months ago. First you heard OF Pr ~ es:
| suppose your wife Is hsndsomeT "of
course" "Beautiful face?" "Certainly."
GOOD figure?" "Fine. Over million In
her own rigbt."
"Pa, what Is this Tammany Hall they're
all talking about ?" "Ob, that's John Kelly
and his crowd" "But where does the half
come In ?" "Thats what John Kelly would
| like to know, my SON." "WhatT "Why,
where the hall comes in."--Chtcd0o Neics.
ANY dear BRETHREN" said the minister,
| leaning forward and speaking very earnestly,
| "in this excessively warm and oppressive
| weather | can excuse q little drowsiness
during the sermon, but do wish you would
try and keep awake while the collection IS
being taken up"
Aaron Jones, of Lynchburg, has posted
| lows: "The partnership heretofore resisting
between me and Nose Is this day dissolved.
| All parties indebted 10 the concern will set
tie with me. and all parties the concern Is
| Indebted TO will settle with Mose."--Peters-
burg Inder appeal,
Little boys, what are you doing with all
that mud ?" "Plealh. thir. we's pilin' 1t up
| I'm two big piles" "But what are you going
IN do with it?" "We's goin' 10 play editor.
| Tommy's goin' to be Publican editor an Use
| coin, TO be q Democrat editor, an we's goin'
10 pelt each other dess as the for-truly edi-
tors es."-Chicdgo Negs.
| aCap you help me little ?" asked tramp.
| IL am hungry and can't get any work at my
trade" aWbst is your trade2" asked the
| oen,Iemau. 81 am glass worker" "Wbat
| Kind Of glass work ?" "Beer glass worker ;
:. Heie Is q penny for your frankness.'
"Thank you, sir" said the tramp gratefully.
"ril put part of II In the bank"
| irate farmer: "See here, sir. If you are
going 10 run q railroad through my farm
want $40 900 damages" Superintendent
| "For,y thousand dollarsl Great Caesar
mani You only paid $4,000 for the whole
property three months agol" lrate farmer
ayes. hui railroad through II makes II ten
times more vsluable."-Phiiadeiphid Cdu.
Dear Hubby: Please send me by money
order fifty dollars. | want TO get dress
| Geneyicye. L. ST. had almost forgotten to
seud INV love. Your little wifey. q. DeaI
| GeueyIevp: 1 send you my nndyiDg, best love
Your husband. Charles. J.. 81 had al
,nost forgot To say that ] can't send the iift J
doliars. With kiss. Charles Chtcdgt
Times.
asit down, old fellow" be said, .I'll be
with you In q momont. ! sm just finishing
\ letter TO my wife," "How often 90 yot
write 10 your wife while she Is In the coun
tryr SHOW often; every day. "isnt ina
rather freauent?" "Nol too often, you see
II sbe doen't hear from me regularly sh'
might think something was wrong and com.
home 10 find out what IL was.n-NeU forI
Sun.
aBut. oh, papa, George and do love eacl
other 40 devoted" 81 don't care (; say yot
shall not marry him. How on earth can b
support the daughter OF wealthy mercbsn
when his salary is only 5000 year
"But, papa, you forget be Is your connoen
tIal clerk, your trusted employee" "Wbal
that ?n "Wby, he probably owns more
the store than you do already Y"-Ch'edg
Netrs.
There was a banquet al Austin not lon
.,,.e A. which Governor Lubbock made
s,.eecb "Wben am travelling In foreigI
n.r,s % said the Governor, enthusiastically
sI am pro,d TO say that am from the Lon
s,.r state. When | register at . hotel
nict out a pen gilh broad point and writ
sf,er INV namr, la big letters: "Fron
Texas .Yes, whispered gentlamsn VII
= happened 10 be ,'resen' a. ,hs banquet, "sn