The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-22
~ Al =
The Bad BOY.

10Y TO k0fOWs D wet suOWUait AZ nim, !,
when he inteuded to push the barrel over
loa the boy, you ought to know every,
ehing, because your pa takes the papers
and your ma belongs to the sewing So
ciety. / don't read any papers, and de-
pend entirely upon what customers Tell
me when they come in to trade. What
4, this. hear about Bismarck and the
saskar resolutions, and Congress, and
ali thatP" and the groceryman lit his
clay pipe and sat down on a basket OF
|turnips. 9
sBismarck snd' Lssksr, " said the boy,
as he rolled an orange on barrel head
to make it soft, sdon't you know any
thing about thst7 Well, you ought to
keep posted. There is q lot of times
when hired girls come In here to trade
that you could make yourself solid with
them by informing them on the topics
Of the day. You see, Bismarck vas one
OF the star route robbers. II was their
habit to wear big tin stars aud 60 out on
the plains 10 rob the mail carriers. Lss
kar was good man who used to carry
the mails between Laramie and Helena,
Montana. Laskar knew the robbers were
going to rob the mail one day, and so be
filed mail sack With dynamite, and
when Bismarck ordered him to hold up
his hands, he iust threw the mail sack 10
Bismarck, and the dynamite exploited,
and blew hin and his band all over the
territory. Laskar returned to L ramie
and reported what he had done. and
Congress voted him a gold medal for
expediting the mails" .rgqs r e
"You don't say so,' said the grocery.
man. II ought to read more gat an
idea from just glancing at headlioess in
the papers that Bismarck started town
somewhere out ia Dakota, and Laskar
tried to jump his claim I am much
obliged to you for the Information. and
il anybody comes Ia here and ores Bis
marck and Laskar conHndrums az me af-
ter this, won't have - pretend to be
deaf and Grange the subject. What is
this tariff business 4 hear customers
talking about every little swhilei Is
this tariff running for any Office 2" gr
.'No, tariff has not been nominated for
ANYTHING yet,. but expects to be-" and
the boy looked out OF the corner Of his
eye at the grocer to see il be was as big
. fool as he pretended. ."Tariff-is Re-
publican when he is ia Republican 10.
calities, and Democrat when be IS In
Democratic localities, and where the
thing is about even he straddles the
fence and hangs one leg on each side.
Tariff wauts 20 be President, but don't
know which party TO take the nomination
from. Pa is for tariff in some saloons
where he is working up bis chances for
alderman, and in some saloons he Is op-
posed to tariff II is queer how il works.
but q boy must not ask too many ques-
tions or be gets fired out DOORS"
Il am glad that I know about this tar
ifi." said the grocer, scratching match
to relight his pipe. "That thing has
bothered me more than any other one
thing. Somehow l got an idea that it
was sort OF barnacle that attaches itself
to goods that are shipped from foreign
countries. from what heard people say.
One day found peculiar forma;ion
on the bottom OF basket Of imported
dates, and says to myself, That must
he a tariff but it was only some mnd.
But, say. what does the doctor say abon.
your pat Will he pull through e..
sPa is better, thanks to careful nurs.
ing You see, pa began fading fault
with me again because / didn't play more
j,kes;on him told him that pepple
we're getting an idea that I MAS mean
aud pusley, because. / played jokes on
him, and had gait. Pa said, .N:ver
mind what people say. 1 am your ia
ther, and it plesses me to have yon prac.
tice on me. think il more men allow
ed the natural exuberance of youth to
have its fun at home, there would be
less deviltrY done away from home -.
Now II you don't make your pa walk
turkey in less than twenty-four hours,
I'll take you across my knee. you hear.
The fun have at home is what braces
me up for political campaign Well.
when pa said that, felt that it was an
uudutifnl son that woald go back on his
parent and deprive him Of the excite.
ment bis nature demanded, SO, l went TO
work to think OF something to make pa
remember old times. That evening at
the supper table We got to talking of
spinal meningitis, and pa said some Of
our best citizens we're having it. He
said it was an aristocratic disease, AMI
liz was complimentary to mans stand
ing 10 society to have it. l askei him
what the first symptoms were, and be
said he understood It was cold feeling
along the spine. The next morning l
took about two qnsrts of ppunla I ice,
and tilled the pistol pockets of bis. pants
with it, aud the tail pockets OF his coat,
and he put on his things anil came down
| to breakfast. He said the dining-room
was cold, and ha rubbed his hanis, and
occasionally looked sort of scared, and
s;at down to breakfast. He had not sat
there more than minute before he told
ma he didn't want any breakfast, and he
went and Law down on, the lounge !
| told M what I had done and she latfe |.
and pretty soon pa began to cali 70, ma.
She went to him an told him he looked
sick. Pa said h, was. He said he had
got the aristocratic disease, and he didn''
care who kne - 1t. He kept getting cold
Ter, and finally concluded to send for 9
doctor, and went afler him but didn't
hurry b.ck. Ma she hal quiet talk
with ia on his condition, anil male him
believe he was overworke.l,. and made
hin promise to let politics alone, and
try to lea, a different life. Pa got bet
ter before long, aud sat up, and when b.
founl his coat AMI pants all damp from
the pounded ice, he said he ha sweat
the disease entirely out OF his system
and be changed his clothes and eat
light breakfast, and l guess he fount
! some ice in his pockets, for when ! cam
lin he said, YOU'RE nice boy, amt you
4 To try to play freess out on your old pa
DON'T letit occur agaia.' Qaeer, ain
/ it, that ma will yearn to- have joke
II played on him, and order them as 70
would groceries, and when they come b
!, haa to get huffv. Well, must go spea
ing suckers" and the boy went Of, lea,