Morning journal and courier., 1884-11-29
NOMINATED.

Japanese girls sell themselves as wives fo I S4 each, but American girls give themselve. ! away.-Boston Post.
 More Germans commit suicide, it is said | than any other nationality. Carl Schur1 l lectures in that language Philadelphia l Call
 ''The longer person IS in eating the more pleasure will he derive from it." According to this the man who wrestles with the board ng-house steak should be supremely happy. Boston Transcript.
 ''I'm fum Misteh Brown, mum-gen'lemum whut lives cross de way. He says won't yer please shut dem winders wen de young lady's a-playin' g ''But thought Mr. Brown was musical himself p ''Thass whut's the mattah, mum"
 A California lady has a pair of scissors which has been used by herself and mother for seventy-six years. Scissors will last good while when not used for opening to- mato cans. That has a tendency to dull ! them. Philadelphia Call
 ''How did you like it down in Texas P asked New Yorker of worthless sort of a friend who had gone to the Lone Star State in the hope of making fortune '"Texas. sir, is wretched country. No decent man can make living there unless he works''
 They were expecting the minister to the Thanksgiving dinner. ''Is everything ready,
 my dear?" asked the head of the house. 4es, he can come now soon as he likes 5 Have you dusted the family Bible?'' Good
 ness gracious! I forgot that!"-New York Sun.
 The man who didn't know there was any difference between plurality and majority
 be an open winter, and they say a folded
 newspaper placed on the small of the back
 is an excellent substitute for 8 $25 beaver
 overcoat.-Detroit Free Press.
 In Thibet woman may have four hus-
 bands, but in this country she can only have
 one at time. Our highest priced funny man is now wrapped in deep gloom over an man or the American woman is the person to be sympathized with.-Oil City Blizzard.
 President Cleveland though unmarried. will not be wholly helpless in Washington Should a suspender-botton now and then give way while he is engaged in the arduous duties of the presidency Belva Lockwood, who lives in Washington, will be magnani- nous enough to be on hand Louisville Courier Journal.
 alluring sign displayed in front of restaur- ant that attracted hungry traveller But there was no mistaking the fictitious nature of the butter placed before him, and he an- grily addressed the proprietor: EI thought you said you used no oleomargarine?n tsNei- ther I dos" placidly returned the restaura- teur. "What's that, then?" ''Oleomargarine D
 Then you acknowledge that you do use its" 'No, sir; l don't. give it to my custo- mers to use" Plttsburg Chronicle-Tele- graph.
 Finder" severely demanded Mrs. Fitz- goober, ''did you take your medicine last nlght2, Yes, ma'am," sweet1y answered that cherub. About hour afterward the lady found the mixture of compound bitter ness that had been intended for Finders cold lying snugly under the washstand "Pin- der!" she yelled. "Yes, ma'am." 'I thought you told me you had taken your medicine. " .'So did, ma; but you didn't ask me where 1 took it to, so kept quiet on that point ' but he didn't keep quiet at the point of her Constitution 1