Sun River sun. [volume] (Sun River, Mont.) 1884-1885, 1884-02-28
PEPPER SAuSE, OR
Quips, Quirks and Quodlibets.

piano.
The downward path The ono with
a piece Of orange peel on it.
The proper way to warm tho house
is to keep the cellar coaled.
Social Thirteen ut table is un-
lucky when there is dinner for only
ten.
"I'm afraid, Bridget, that shall not
be able to live together any longer"
"An sure, whore is il you'd be goin'r'
'Whnt shall W. do with our old
clothcs1" asks newspaper writer.
He should save thom until he starts
u daily newspaper to fill long felt
want. He will need them soon after
ward.
Mother: "Why Mabie, how could
you be SO naughty rs to knock tho
little boy into tho guttcr" Mabel:
~ didn't knock him in the guttcr,
mama; I knocked him in the stom-
ach."
Joseph Cooks asks: .Does death
end all" Not muchy Joe; Death
does not end all by largo majority.
Tho fun begins just about tho time
the lawyers arc called in to interpret
the condition Of the will
"1'vc got pencil that will write
all colors," said Stumplcg to his wife.
"What color do you want it to write7"
His wife suggested red, and with one
foot ready for lump, Stumpleg
calmly spelled out ''r-c-d' with his
black pencil.
A party Of young men dincd sump-
tuously ut restaurant in Chicago,
and each one insisted on paying the
bill. To decide the matter it was
proposed to blindfold the waiter, and
the first one he caught was to pay the
bill. He hasn't caught any Of thom
yet.
A lady in Toronto got to laughing
over some amusing incident ind could
not stop. Finally doctor was called
in and he could not quiet her, and she
might have died laughing If telc-
gram had not arrived just then saying
that her husbands mother was coming
on short visit.
A lecturer on 'the moral scnti-
ments" in Philadelphis, remarked that
''that the dearest ship in the whole
world was friendship" whcreupon a
young man rose from the audience,
and stated that he knew another, a
dcarer ship still, and that was court
ship. Tho young man had once been
defendant in IN action for breach Of
promise OF marriage
"Mammaw exclaimed bea utifu
s girl who had suffered affectation to
obscure tho little intellect she pos
scssed, 'what is that long green thing
lying on the dish before you" "A
cucumber, my beloved Gcorgiana,'
replied tho mamma, with bland
smile OF appreciation at her darling's
commcndable curiosity. "A cucumber I
Gracious goodness, my dear mamma.
how very extraordinary! I always
imagined that they grew in sliccs.'
A subscriber writes to Yankee cdi
tor: Il have n horse that has lately
suffered from periodical fits of dizzi-
ness. Please answer through your
valuable paper, and let me know what
l should do with him. I'm afraid he
will get worse if something is not
done soon." The editor replies: "Our
honest advice, based on very careful
pernsal Of that capital book, Every
Man His Own Horse Doctor would
A'-1v'''1n'h'n, d-staau stiansseIis II is
s., ,piis nirs' /! !rolitieian--"I q, hear TIM. 49,.
s'laly of the Ge--,, ''''
only $1,000 u year.
Second Politician-"Only $1,000!
Well, that is getting things down
pretty tine.'
First Politician -"What puzzles me
is that they should ever find any ono
to take the position ut that pay, for ]
learn that there are very few perquis-
ites'
Sccon Politician-"But You forgoI
the immense importance Of the Office.
First Politician what way9"
Second Politician-"A Governor
can't be arrested"
An Irish laborcr who was in the EN-
ployment of an English gentleman
residing in Ireland, was on one occa-
sion proceeding to fair, held annn-
ally at IL neighboring village, when
his master endeavored to dissuade him
for his design. ''You always said
he, ''come back with II broken head
Now, stay at home to-day, Darby, an
III give You five shillings.' "SuI.
: an it's myself that's forever and al