Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-10-06
BRIGHT BITS.

APPLICANT-''I would like to obtain posi-
ton with you as cashier" Merchant-"1
don't want to keep cashier. prefer to keep
the cash here. ''-Sitings.
THERE is not a single lawyer among the
1000 convicts in the Virginia penitentiary,
which surprises an exchange. 1t only proves
that there are very able lawyers in that State.
Boston Globe.
THE most polite man which the country has
produced has been found hanging from the
limb of tree in Connecticut town. one OF
his shoes containing note begging pardon
for trespassing on the land where the body
was found. He was not Connecticut man.
THE PoULTERER's REPLY
so Rutherford b., of the poultry farm,
Will Jim from defeat at length be snatched"
'Perhaps and perhaps; but we never. marin,
Should count up chickens before they're
Matched" -Courier-J Journal
ARE you compromising a felony?" asked a
Young lawyer of his landlady. "NO, sir" she
Indignantly replied. ''Pm making hash"
Making hash, Ell? Oh, well, that is DIS
tinction without a difference" grlnned the
limb of the law, as he skipped out Just IN time
to avoid the meat chopper.-Neao York Jour
nal.
"COACHMAN we ave not at our 'ouse, Mrs.
Brown, and as an Engishwoman born my
self, Pm sure | ave proper notions about the
sOshle scale; but Lord "a mercy upon me.
Mrs Brown, / can't no more 'elp it than can
'elp breathln' hair, ven a tramWay guard
'Orse-car conductor, should say-looks at me
nOwadays-dO you know, ma'am, Pm that
clustered don't know w'ether Pm on my ed
or my eels1'-PUcb.
SOFTLY the evening star
Was shining in the west,
And Luna from her golden car
Shed gracious peace and rest.
A maiden, starry eyed,
Looked up with lashes wet;
Her lover whispered, "Stewed or fried?"
She faltered, "Stewed, yon bet"
-BHrEin0tOa Free Press.
A NEWARK NUFACTURER recently sent
letter to a lawyer in st. Louis, asking about
derelIct debtor named Fogg. Inc lawyer
didn't see any way of getting any money out
of the case, and told the trnth in his
funniest vein: "Fogg has gone up. the
river; left town under a cloud; haZed
by his creditors and mist one morning.
Doubtful weather you'll get anything by
pressing claim. "-NeaOdrb CAL.
"UNCLE WILLIAM, how's rents up your
way" he asked of an old cOlored man who
was squantering around the market. "Rents,
sah-rents! Does yOa mean rents OF hOusesP
eyes" ''Wall, sab, doan' keep no track of
'em tall" "But you live in rented house"
''Yes, sab; but when de landlord begins to
percolate aroun' fur his rent i pulls out an
finds anoder cabin. It's heap cheaper to
move dan to argufy wild a landlord about
wheder rents am up or dOwn."-Detr0H Free
Press.
WHAT'S IN ANAME?-Mein Herr Pedagogue
(which means My Lord Professor) to plain
John Smith, Esq.-'Ach, zoh! you to not
abroof of re brIfliletsches Of re beerage! My
cOot vrent, der kratest brifliletsch, in your 20
schnOppish islant, is dat you gall zem eggs
gusfy MY LOrt,' and der vifes My Lady,
Veil, L will kif you an atvice. You are lord
(of re greation] and your wife is a laty!-and
zoh likewise viz all your verents! AGREE to
gall yourselfs and each oder MY LOrt and
MY Laty' for couple of cheneratiOns or 20
and zerr you are! And we're IS re beerage
den! Vat say you to Eat, Herr Lord Schmidt"
r. S. is aghast at the splendid audacity OF
the suggestion. Punch.
A Boy who had q great curiosity to know
how a Beehive was constructed entered an
Apiary and proceeded to upset Hive, but
while feeling in his Hind Pocket for Two
Foot Rule the Angry Swarm alighted upon
him and ran the Thermometer up to such a
Notch that he cried out in a voice which
could be heard mile away. When the last
Bee had got in his Work and there was moth
ing but boot heel left to Bite at, an old
SnOozer with Yellow Back and a Squint-
Eye flew up on the Gate Post to Pick the
Bones out of his Teeth, and said, "Better
wait until the Mule is Dead before picking up
a Hind Foot to see how it is glued on. When
Curiosity interferes with the HousewOrk next
door it is time to throw FlatirOns. "-Detroit
Free Press.