The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993, 1884-05-31
Plug Hat Depravity.

Plug Hat Depravity.
This world is filled with woe every
where you go. Sorrow is piled up in
the fence corners on every road. Tn
availing regret and red-nosed remorse
inhabit the cot of the tie chopper as
well as the cut glass cage of the mil
Iona re. The woods are full of di APP
poiutment. The earth is convulsed
with the universal sob, and the roads
are mud ly with tears. But / do not
call 10 mind more touching picture OF
unavailing misery and ru n and hope
less chaos than the plug hat that has
endeavored to keep sober and maintain
its self-respect while its owner is drums.
a Plug hat can stand prosperity, and
shine forth ioyously while nature smiles.
That's the place where it seems to
thrive. A tall silk hat looks we'll on
thrifty man with a clean collar, but il
can net stand d ssipation.
| once knew plug hat that had been
respected by every one and had won its
way upward by steady endeavor, Nc
one knew aught against it till one even
| ing, in an evil hour, it consented to ut.
tend banquet, and all at once its Joy
GUS career ended. 1t met nothing but
d strust and cold neglect everywhere
after that.
Drink seems to make a man tempo.
rarly, unnaturally exhilarated. Dur.
ing the temporary exhilaraton he de.
sires to attract attention by eat no lob.
ster salad out of his own hat and sitting
down on his neighbours.
Tho damon I'm m il ho1 a11ounh ~, ALr
coatings of tho stomach, but it is even
more disastrous to the tall hat. y man
may mix up in crowd and carry oil
an overdose of valley tan in soft hat
or cap, but the silk hat will proclaim il
upon the house-tops and adve tise it to
the gaping, wondering world. 1t has
way of getting back Oh the rear eleva-
ton of the heal or o7er the bridge OF
the nose, or of hanging coauettishly on
one ear, that says to the eagle-eyed
public, II am shockful"
l can not call TO mind more power
full lecture on temperance than the ST.
lent pantomine of man trying to hang
his plug hat on an invisible peg in his
own hall after he had been Watching the
returns III ee years ago. | saw that he
was excited and nerv usly unstrung
when he came in, but did not fully re-
allie it until he began to hang his hat on
the smooth wall.
At first he laughed in good natured
way at his awkwardness, and hung ii
up again, carefully; but at last he be-
came irritated about it and almost for
got himself enough to swear, but con-
trolled himself Finding however that
it refused to hang up, and that it seemed
rather restless, anyhow, he put it in the
corner of the hall with the crown up,
pinned it to the floor with his umbrel a,
and heaved sigh of relief Then he
tookof his overcoat and, through cler-
zeal error, pulled off his dress coat also.
| showed him his mistake, and offered
to assist him hack in his apparel, but
he said he hadn't got SO old and feeble
yet that he couldn't dress himself.
| j alter on he came into the parlor
wea ing q linen ulster, with the belt
dropping behind him like the broken
harness hanging t. shipwrecked and
stranded mule. His wife looked ut him
in way that froze his blood. This
startled him so that he stepped back a
pace or two, tangled his feet in his sur
cingle, clutched wildly at the empty
gaslight, but missed it, and sat down in
a tall majolica cuspidor.
There wese three games of whist go
ing ON when he fell, and there was a
good deal of excitement over the play
| ing, but after he had been pulled out Of
the American tear Jug and led away ev-
cry one of the twelve whist players had
forgotten what the trump was.
ILey say that he has abandoned pol
tics since then and that now he
doesn't care whether we ha any more
November elections or not | asked
him once if he would be active during
the 1884 campaign, as usual, and he
SAID he thought not. He said man
couldn't afford to be too active in a po-
litical campaign. HIS constitution
wouldn't stand it.
At that time he didn't care much
whether the American people had q
president or not. Ii every public. spir-
tied voter had got to work himself up
| into state of nervous excitability and
prostration where reason tottered on its
tn one, he thought that we needed re-
| form.
Those who wished to furnish reasons
to totter on their thrones for the Nation
al Central Comm ttee at so much per
| tot could do 50; he. for one, didn't pro
| pose to farm out his immortal soul and
plug hat to the party if 60, 00J,000 peo-
pie mad to stand four years under the
administration of A setting hen.-BGI
Nye, an Eos on Globe.
-<-9S
/ L -