River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1884-01-17
THAT AWFULLY BAD BOY.
And How He Plays 1t on the Fears
Of a Deceived Parent,


| Pecks Milwaukee Sun.
81 guess your pas losses in the silver
mine has made him crazy, h .ven't
they" said the grocery man to the BAG
| boy, as he came in the store with hi
eye winkers singed off, and powder
marks on his face, and began to play Oh
the harmoniea, as he sat down on the
end of stick of stove wood and bal
anced himself.
sob, l guess not. He has hedged.
He got in with a deacon of another
| church, and sold some of his stock to
him, and pa SAYS if | keep my com.
denim mouth shut he will unload the
whole of it, if the church holds out.
| He goes to new church every night
there is a prayer meeting, and makes ma
go with him, to give him tone, and after
meeting she talks with the sisters about
how to piece a silk bed quilt, while ps
gets in his work selling silver stock.
don't know what he will order some
more stock from the factory, if he sells
all he has got," and the boy went on
playing There's Land that is tairer
than Day"
Gut what was he skipping up street
for the other night with his hat off, grab
Ding at his coat tails as though they were
IN fire? | thought l never saw pussy
man run any faster. And what was the
celebration down on your street about
that time? | thought the world was COM
ing to an end" and the grocery man
kept away from the boy, for fear he
woald explode
20, that was only a Fenian scare
,.,,1
half Englishtnan. He claims to be an
American citizen, when he wan of
ice. but when they talk about draft he
claims to be subject of Great Britain,
and he saws they can't touch him. Pa is
a darned smart man, and don't you for
get it. There don't any of them get
ahead Of pa much. Well, pa has said a
good deal about the wicked Fenians,
and that they ought to be pulled, and all
that, and when read the story in the
papers about the explosion in the Brit
lsh parliament pa was hot. He said tho
damerish was running the whole world.
He didn't say it at the table or our hired
girl would have knocked him silly with
spoonful of mashed potatoes, cause
she's a nirish girl, and she can lick any
Engishman in this town. Pa said there
ought TO have been somebody there to
have taken that bomb and throwed it in
the sewer before itexploded. He said if
he ever should see a bomb he should grab
it right up and throw it away where it
read the papers to him nights, cause his
eyes have got splinters in 'em, and after
/ ad read all there was in the paper
made up lot more and pretended to
read it, aOout how it was rumored that
the Fenians here il Milwaukee were
going to place dynamite bombs at every
house were an Englishman lived, and
at given signal blow them all up. Pa
looked pale around the gills, but he
said he wasn't scared. Pa and ma were
going to call on a she deacon that has
lots of money in the bank, to see If she
didn't want to invest in dead-sure pay
ing silver mine, and me and my chum
concluded to give them a send off. We
got my big black iniy-rubbey football and
painted "Dinymight" in big white let
tiers on it, and tied piece oftarred rope
to it for fuse, and got a tire-cracker,
one of those old Fourth of July horse
scarers, and basket full Of bi oxen glass.
We put the footba in front of the step.
lit the tarred sope, and got under the
step with the frecracker anu basket,
where they go down into the basement
Pa and ma got out the front door and
down the steps, and pa saw the foot ball
and the barning fuse, and he said, Great
God Hammer, we are blowed upw and
he started to run, and ma she stopped
to look at it. Just as pa started to run
touched off the tirecracker, and my chum
arranged it to pour out the broken glass
on the brick pavement just as the fire
cracker went of. Well, every
thing went just as we expected
ined the football, and concluded it was
not dangerous, and was just giving it a
kick as the firecracker went off, and the
glass fell, and the frecracker was SO near
her that it scared her, and when pa
looked around ma was flying across the
sidewalk, and pa heard the noise and
he thought the house was blown to
atoms. o, you'd dide to see him go
around the corner. You could play GRO
kay on his coat-tail, and his face was as
pale as mas when she goes to a party
But ma didn't scare much. AS quick as
she stopped against the hitching post
she knew it was us boys, and she came
down there, and maybe she didn't maui
me. / cried and tried to gain her sym
pathy by telling her the firecracker went
off before it was due, and burned my
eyebrows off, but she didn't let up until
my ma ought to be engaged by the Brit
ish government to hunt out the dy-
Mantle fiends. She would corral them
in two minutes. If pa had as much
sand as ma has got, it would be warm
weather for me. Well, me and my chum
went and headed pa off or / guess he
would be running yet. We got him up
by the lake shore, and he wanted to
know if the house fell down. He said
he would leave it to me if he ever said
anything against the Fenians, and | told
him he had always claimed that the Fee
mans were the incest men in the world
and it seemed to relieve him very much.
When he got home and found the house
there he was tickled, and when ma cab
ed him an old bald headed coward, and
said it was only joke of the boys with
foot ball, he laughed right on and said
he knew it all the time, and he ran TO
see if ma would be scared. And then
he wanted to hug me but it wasn't my
night to hug and l went down to the
theatre. Pa don't amount to much
when there is trouble.