Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-06-10
4 LADY.IIEE COW.


-Aoa7ns 4Aasc4El.f
when Parson Jilminson meved into
our neishborhood his nist question was,
who . Cos gentle COW for sale:- Old
Nick Parish. one of the best known and
most upright men IN the community.
had gentle COW. II q man wanted a
nsry, unsubdusd horse, Mex had him;
ana IL he wanted horse % quiet in de-
meanor that be RETAINED from lasting
tue lies, Nick had him. In fact, Nick
mad anything that anybody wanted TO
oov; and one thing peculiar about his
aoitity 10 furnish the great market Of
wants was that every animal he sold
was precisely what be REPRESENTED 1t
10 be.
I" Ia she q good milker!" asked Par
son Jilminson. when he had gone to
N'ck's lot and begun an inspection of
the COW.
&c Best in the land, and the enc fine
pint about her is that she'll give enough
milk for any family. Whenever she
changes hands she sizes up the new
family, and If she amt broad enough
20 accommodate all concerned, why she
changes her gage. Bot she il not prod
ieal. | bought her from a hotel man.
She bad been giving milk enough for
all the guests; Tut when she saw that
only had small family, she changed
her meter and came down to our mea-
sure"
q never before heard of such cow"
said the parson.
Nobody else, and If nv wife didn't
try to impose on her | wouldn't sell her
for sny thing. You see my wife 10 a very
ambitious woman and wants this ONE
COW to furnish enough milk for the CD
GRAFTON of An entire dairy farm. | will
not allow even my wife % monkey with
the affec ions of tlis animal. Just look
at her. Did You ever see any thing more
lady like? There she stands, the very
picture of courtesy. willing To inundate
the entire community with milk"
What is tue least YOU ii take for herr
the parson asked.
I" " ell, I'll Il you. II i, want for
the pints I've presented, wouldn't sell
Rer for no price; but AS il is. you may
have her for hundred dollars"
The money was pad without hesita- |
ton. and in triumph the parson drove |
the COW home.
Greatest COW in the world" he said |
to his wife, as he turned the animal into |
the back yard. The man had senti !
mental reasons for selling her, or We |
would never have been her fortunate |
possessors."
The next day was Sunday. The par
son had an appointment to preach at |
the nsiRhborlng church, but when the |
time for services arrived, the parson Was |
seen crossing the oommon, carving an |
army gun. As he approached Parish's
hosse, Parish was seen to leap the fence |
and start off IN practical and CONNER
ciai-like manner toward the woods. The /
parson discovered him. threw mp his |
gun and fired, and so mech powder had |
his indignation demanded IN the execu
ton of his sanguinary design. that the |
bullet, long after the excitement had
subsided, WAS heard whizzing around
the neighborhood
what on earth IL the matter, parson?"
asked q doZeE voices, as the minister
approached the church and proceeded
to load his gun.
Bought a COW from that sooundrel.
Told me she WAS gentle. VI ifs got up
this morning to milk her. / thought /
heard mutterings and other sounds ex-
pressive of dissatisfaction, and stepping
To the door. | saw my wife going over
the ash hopper. My wife % a woman of
unusual agility, yet saw no reason why
buC cuouiu Bail 1tOuha tLiOuGh buO
on Sunday morning, 80 | stepped out |
lady like cow raking up ridges and act
ing as though she was displeased. /
spoke TO her and she darted at me. ! |
tried to avoid her, but failed. / went
over the ash hopper pretty much as my
wife had done. This WAS not the end
of the performance. The COW could not
get around behind the ash hopper, but |
she made il sensational for Us by re-
minders that she WAS still in circulation.
The dog came over and fell among us. |
Then a dashboard, brass kettle, thu |
Cat and the hired boy came over. l
never saw anything like it. Every time |
| looked up, something would hit me.
After while she began to throw dirt |
and chips over until thought We would |
all be buried. yelled for help. and old |
Mrs. Piggleworth, kind old soul who |
lives near, came to see what WAS the /
matter, good-hearted old creature. The |
heather who sold me the COW said that |
she would size Us all up with an idea tn |
furnish the requisite amount OF milk, |
and probably that s what che was doing, |
but / am not used to such estimates be- |
ing made on my family. Finally she, |
the courteous animal, j1mp.d over the |
fence and left, and am ont on an im- |
portant errand. No, can't preach for
YOU today" putting cap on the Gun. az
he caught sight of Parish peepiag from
behind distant tree. :" / wish you all
we'll and hope the Lord will take care of
ven. but At present am compelled to
discharge duty which owe to my wife,
myself. my neIghbors and society" and
he cooked the army gun and slipped