The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-20
A PLEA FOR DAUGHTERS
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treated, of late, by both the secular and relig-
ious press 1t is true, one must be surrounded
by similar circumstances and look at the subject
from the same point Of view if one would judge
fairly of another persons opinion. But While 1t
might be unfair to censure, we may endeavor to
disproVe the idea advanced by a few people OF
unfortunate experience, that American girls are,
as a rule, thoughtless, un6lial, and even heart
less, especially in their relation to their mothers.
Though often written seriously, it has become a
stale joke that the usual place of a daughter is
at the piano in the parlor, while the mother is
bending over the wash-tub in the kitchen. But
surely if the unconscious perpetrators of this
really cruel joke, and the many who smile at it,
would extend their field of observation and at
tempt to prove their belief by further illustra-
tions they would doubtless soon discover they
had many evidences of its general falsity. There
is a peculiar injustice in these reckless
accusations of unflial conduct in girls
which seems to be wholly disregarded
The very relation of mother and
daughter causes any lack of flial respect to be
Immediately noticeable, while it at the same
time makes any defense Of herself almost impos
sible for the daughter, when appearances are
dSdItlSI e " nlElSS ndS SCI nlO SCdl 0pOh
honor to parents as one Of the highest duties of
children and this honor is stiIl too universally
considered as a thing chiefly of external act or
manner. And to this superficial Interpretation
even the American girl, trained lin an atmos
phere Of freedom and independence, is made
amenable. Girls who are taught TO think for
themselves and to live, in a certain sense, in
diyidual lives, inevitably do or say things which
would properly be considered undutiful among
nations where marriage alone is supposed to
emancipate women. But in regard to fliai serv-
ice American girls are sometimes unjustly ac-
cused of laxity, for which mothers are, unin-
tentionally to blame. Besides the mistaken
kindness which often leads mothers to take
wholly upon themselves cares, responsibilities
and work which their daughters should share,
older women are occasionally actuatec in thus
OVERRIDING themselves by a certain love of
authority, a Jealousy of newer ideas, a want of
confidence in younger persons or an inn
patience with the inferior work Of the
inexperienced. And it is possible, nay
even probable, that some loving but
ignorant mothers do take a pride in the usually
meager but snowy accomplishments Of daugh-
tiers. whom they encourage in using the piano
when the dashboard would better occupy their
attention.
But, as wise and careful as well as affectionate
American mothers are more common than I'M
wise or selfish ones, so good and dutiful Ameri-
can daughters are more numerous than those
who are unflial. The tenderness and sympathy
of the one almost invariably meet with love,
gratitude and obedience in the other Moreover,
what is said slightingly to the daughter is a
double insult to the mother, for, beside being in
some degree reflected in her. she is or was her
self a daughter, and is not aptto forget the fact,
and it is mothers, therefore, who will probably
be the first to acknowledge the truth of the testi
mony here offered, simply in regard to flial
service. This testimony, founded on real knowl-
edge or careful observation, is that in all classes
of society-from the one in which the hardest
domestic drugery is expected of the women OF
the household to that in which more or less
responsibility, in regard to domestic affairs,
chiefly, is looked for-girls willingly take upon
themselves a liberal share of work or care.
Among the lower classes little girls, scarcely in
their teens, are found cheerfully performing the
work Of women. Among the better class, girls
Of superior intelligence, who find great pleasure
IN reading and music and who are popular in the
social circle, are frequently excellent cooks and
housekeepers also. Many others fill with honor
the place of mothers right hand in entertaining
guests and other womanly duties. Even fippant,
harum searum girls who seem to think of moth
ing higher than dress, fun and attention, often
perform household duties with cheerfulness and
skill There is indeed an unwritten code of
honor held by girls which forbids their neglect
of anything which viii tighten the burden of
mothers domestic cares, and the most selfish
girls are not unfrequently found among the
~strictest observers of this code.
Perhaps q more emphatic proof of the general
woPthiness of girls as daughters is the way in
which the eldest daughter usually fills her place
in the family circle, accepting with readiness the
cares and responsibilities which seem to belong
naturally to this trying, though honorable posi-
ton. And though she herself feels amply re-
warded by the confidence reposed in her, yet
perhaps none but God and the recording angel
fully realize the sacrifices so frequently and
willingly made by the eldest daughter.
The severest manual labor falls to
her lou if she is poor, and in
any case the naturally free feeling Of youth IS
seldom hers, while she unconscionsly assumes a
weighty moral responsibility in respect to the
training OF the younger members of the family.
Yet most of us would consider it anomalous and
iuexplieabie, and perhaps even unwomanly, if
such q girl complained of her position, though
grey hairs come p~rematurely, though the posi-
bility of all individual life is taken away, though
her kindness meets with forgetfulness and IN
gratitude,
Yet it cannot be denied that girls are some
times wanting in flial respect, just as mothers
are occasionally selfish, harsh or untrue. There
is no love more akin to worship than that of a
child towards a parent, and there is noloye whose
ruins, when 1t IS shattered, are more pitiful and
complete-none whose loss is SO great a ealam-
ity. 1t is the occurrence of this calamity now
and then which makes any lack of flial respect
seem so sad and dangerous, and is probably the
real cause of the many exaggerated statements
concerning undutifulness IN girls. Yet it is sur
prising that so little charity should be had for
girls who are simply thoughfless, when the fool
ish indulgence of their mothers is esteemed a
very Dardonable offense. This may be, and it is
agreeable to believe it Is so, because girls them
Iclves will not listen to any excuse for derelie
zion ia flial duty. MARY e. CARDwILL.
New ALBANY, ind.
z0nAvr Tacore