, 1884-02-14
LIME-KILN CLUB.
Tho Rt Hon Blackboard soruggs
Lectures en- Corns, Chii.
.u blains and .'sich"
Detroit Free Prea

Il would respectfully announce" said
Brother Gardner, as the triangle sounded its
closing note, "dnt de Rt- Hon. Blackboard
Scruggs am in de aunty-room an desiahs to
deliber his celebrated lscktur on de subJick
of cons chilblains, an sioh. Shall he be adj
mitted an purmittedf'
Judge Cadaver moved that tho lecturer DO
Invited to speak his piece, and the motion
unanimously prevailed. The COMMITTEES was
requested to escort him in, and as he passed
up the hail, bowling to the right and left, he
seemed 70 be a man about As years old,
bald-headed, n mouth large enough TO take In
a schoolreader, with a prominent nose and a
limp to his left leg. After being introduced
he reached over and drank the pint OF GOLD
tea which Waydown Bebee had brought
Town for his Individual use, and began:
TELLER NATrvEs:-My objick in arrovin
heah at dis pertickler time am to discuss a
matter dat clusly consarns de hull Guild rnco
OF dis kentry. De con seems to be cnrniver-
Gus, omniverous, an mighty familiar on short
notice. 1t lies down wild de rich, gifts up wild
de poo, an stands right by you widout
strtkin' fur higher wages. What causes
oo'nsi In olden times de CON was supposed
TO be n speshul mark of good luck De Teller
who could show six or seven Of 'em on one
heel was made gub'nor ober a province an
allowed TO keep half a dozen dogs. De little
bunch was said to contain a pearl seventeen
Carrot fine, an people went round cryin' an
amentin' bckase dey had no CONS.
an desc modern days we know dat cons am
caused by a temporary suspenshun OF de
circulashun Of dc blood, mixed wild mo- or
less resckshun an ahTashun. So fur as we
know de pearls found on de inside can't be
used fur fsn bait, an am darfo' a dead loss
TO de kentry. When you heah any one
gwiDe around cryin' you kin bet q spotted
calf ag!n a peck OF dirt dat dey amt weepln'
fur coma
d chilblain differs slightly from do CON-
continued the orator, dropping a troche into
bis mouth. at doan' bunch up an come to a
head In ons p~ertickler spot While de con
am satisfied to cotch on to a toe an hang dnr
fur a month or two, de chilblain comes pur-
rim round de heel, good-natured as an ole
cat. 1t kinder tickets ye fur a day or two,
an you step higher an feel like takin' your
fadder out OF tho poo house. But while you
am wishin' you could buy 400 barrels of
flour fur 400 widders am orphans dat chill.
blain begins to hum around fur
mo- ground. Arter he kivers de heel
be cresps ford 70 do instep, Skulls
TO de toes, an fust you know you am huntln'
for a bute-Jack and a currycomb. He
has come TO stay all winter an late into
spring. You can't coax, hire nor scare him
away. In olden days de chilblAin was sup.
pose TO arise from too much brains In de
head. Dc man who had 'em was considered
n sort Of double-euder statesman, an people
looked up TO his heels as well as his head. In
desc times we know dat do chilblaln an
caused by a Sortof spontaneous condemnation.
corruscashum OF do epidsrmis at a critica
period All dat brains has to do in de cast
AN to invent a cure fur de complaint.
u had intended TO disgress a few trans,
lnshuns on do subjock OF bunions, bow-Iegs
sittin' down on a dog. an picidn' up a no
cent in front OF n saloon, but | SEQ dat d.
time allowed by your rules am almost di.
pired. Let me add, in conclushun, dat I an
purvided wild a box OF knives, gimlets, draw
knives. pick-axes, acids, pincers, an razors
togeder wild a full supply of Salves, p~lasters
wax, an so 10th, am arter do close of d,
mestin' l shall be pleased to experiment or
all member free OF expense. 1 will now re
mark; Cum soils curanter pluribus CicarS
tremons slmilibus Ginsral jackson, and thanl
you for your beedlsa attentions to my un
feeling remnrkA."