Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-01-04
THE KINDLY JEST.
BY CHARLES READE.

There appear to be two great olNiS-
ions of humorous wit the repartee
and the practical joke. Both these
have an aggressive character. To be-
gin with the repartee-it is usually
slap in the face.
A few years ago, the country pos
sessed great master Of repartee, Mr.
Douglas Jerrold. Specimens OF his
style still survive in the memory OF his
contemporaries.
A mediocre writer, employed on the
same subject as himself, says, "You
know, Jerrold, you and | are rowing in
the same boat"
EYES," replies the wit, "but not with
the same sculls."
Another inferior artist is eating soup
at the Garrick Club. He praises it to
Jerrold, and tells him it was calf-tail
soup. aye" says Jerrold; extremes
meet"
These are strong specimens, but take
milder ones; still the aggressive char
acter is there.
Pecuniary calamity overlook friend
of Mr.. Edmund Burke Another friend
went to console him. and, like Jobs
comforters, told him it was all his own
fault How could you be so unfeel-
ing?" said Mr. Burke, when he heard
of it.
"Unfeeling, sirl" says the other.
"Why, / went to him directly, and
poured oil into his wounds"
"Oil of yitriol." says the statesman.
OF course | need not say that a thou
sand examples of the kind are to be
found in literature.
The witty Voltaire receded with adj
mirable dexterity from good nature
into wit. He permitted himself to
praise some gentleman rather warmly
His hearer said, "This is very good of
you, for he doesn't speak of you with
any respect; quite the reverse"
"Ahl" said Voltaire, "humanum est
errare; probably both of us are mis-
taken"
Even where the wit is without per-
sonality, it does not always lose its az
gressive character. See how the per-
sonages in the "School for Scandal"
explain why wit and good-nature are so
seldom united. 1t is not bitter, but still
it is biting.
Now go from this to the practical
joke, which is always an attempt at
humor. Dissect the practical joke.
Egotism and poverty of real wit
tempt some dull fellow to innict mod
crate pain upon another, keeping well
out of it himself; and his being out of
it, and the other being in it, makes
him feel humorous; and this really ia
yors the narrow theory of Hobbies Of
Malmesbury that daughter arises from
a-glorying in ourselves at some superb
ority over our neighbors" The dull
humorist in this style chips bristes
and strews them in his friends bed, or
makes him up what is called an apple
pie bed-a wonderful corruption of
cdp-a-pje Meantime his bed is all
right; and his heart rejoices.
One of these humorists put a skel-
eton into young lady's bed, down in
Somersetshire, then retired softly and
awaited the result, with the idiotic
chuckle of duh dog who has strayed
into humor. The result was that the
lady fell screaming on the floor; was
taken up insane, and ended her days in
a mad-house Another such humorist /
battened down the matches of small
trading vessel in the Thames. Smoke
was created somehow in the hold { l
forgot by what cause); the crew, con-
sisting of four poor wretches, tried IN
vain to esc ape. Their very cries were
stihed, and the next day their smoking
c0rpses were recovered, grim mona-
ments of stupid fellows humOr
Solomon has observed that Nature
contains tremendous animals At the
head of the list he places a couple, viz;
a bear robbed of her whelps and an lr-
ritated fool Leaving these two ter
rible creatures to figure cheek by iowl
in the sacred page, l beg the third
place for dull man or woman trying
to be witty.
Now all this is not absolutely nee
essafy. 1t is more difficult to say witty
and kindly things, than witty and III
natured things. Yet it is within the
power of the human understanding
A young lady walking in her garden
with Sydney Smith, pointed out to MN
an everlasting pea, reported to blossom
beautifully, "but," she said, 1--WE nave
never been able to bring it to perfec-
ton" "Then," said the kindly VIII
"let me bring Perfection to the pea
and so led her by the hand to closer
inspection Of the flower.
Coulon, famous mimic OF LOUIS
XV.'s time, took off the king as wen
as his subjects. The king heafo