Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1884-12-28
AN OLD RsPaosATE.
Tells OF the Trick thas He Played Upon ma
Anxious Wife.
CKioran hibsn..


Anxious Wife.
Czieago hibsne
"You see, Martha got in the habit Of sit
ting up for me OF an early age. and she
can break it Of. 1 couldn't persuade her
10 90 to bed and mind her own GUINNESS, 90
studied on the matter. We live in one oil
tbe centre houses OF block of Eve s;ory-and
attic buildings. There's scuttles in the
roofs of all of them, and | persuaded Mr.
Greenup, who lives in the adjoining HOUSE.,
to let me in bis house last night about l
o'clock, and ! went up through his seattle
and over to mine, and 80 down into our bed.
room. could see Martha from the head
Of the stairs, sitting in the front room eyiDg
the clock with look that was very tart
ch,omo. But addressed and quietly got
in bed, and there lay waiting Developments.
Ever now and then I'd hear Martha give q
short, fidgety cough. Then I'd hear her
get up and prauce around the room little.
aud BY and by so to the front Windows and
slam the shutters.
AFTER Id lain there about q hour, l heard
her get up and go stand ont on the front
steps for good Eve minutes, Then she
came in and slammed the door and locked
it and commenced coming up the stairs
Every other step she'd say: oh, the
wretch. Won't give it to him! know
where he isl i know where he isl He
needn't think to deceive mel Oh, the vii
hanr Bout the time she had nearly got
to the landing ] think she must have seen
the light streaming out the door that Id
lef, ajar. ! could hear her stop, and then |
commenced TO snore. was sfaid to look,
you know, but / could feel her cautiously
come up to the door and look in. Well,
sir I'd have given my pension from the war
of l776 10 have seen her about the time she
saw it was me. I'll bet it was fun. But
was afraid to DO anything but snore. Then
she came into the room, and, by the way
she breathed and stood around, l had to
nearly bite nv tongue off to keep a straight
face on me. ! could feel that she sat down
in a chair, and was dumfounded. / never
let on, but kept on snoring like thunder;
but when she kicked over chair I-turned
ard pretended to wake up, kind Of dazed
like, and says:
".Why, Martha dear, amt you come to
bed yetP
,Iarply,' saidshe, awful slow and solemn
like, when did you come inY
"'Why, must have been four or FIVE hours
ago. Don't you remember when | told you
not 10 60 to sleep again in the rocker, but to
come up to bedY and | turned over and
professed to 60 to sleep again,
she never made any reply, bat acted in
a dazed, bewildered sort of way, and when
she got TO bed could tell she didn't sleep a
wink for three hours.
This morning it was fun to watch
Martha. could hardly keep q straight
face At the breakfast table, and all the
time was about the house, she'd eye me
when she thought | wasn't looking; then,
when Id notice her, she'd turn away and be
as fully busy at something. She caught
ne kind of grinning once, and, by George,
/ bought the explosion was about to come.
trt it didn't, though the look OF blank, un-
ia'homable suspicion she wore on her face
all The time was the greatest show on earth
II nearly broke me up and I've laughed till
my ri!s ache ever since. | know it won't
last. know there's a day Of repenting
seeming, and the thermometer is going up
clear out of sight in the Jsrply family. But
Who's going after trouble2 It'll come soon
enough without hunting it, and I'm going
to enjoy that scuttle in the roof until the
ex nlosion comes"