The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-09-18

l
bedtime. But either Johns
perception of this language was some
what obtuse, or else Mrs. Benton's man |
ner of using it was imperfect, for she
compelled to abandon it as useless, |
PORTIONS of her body, and many facial
expressions that filed John with aston
Ishment. She at last wound up with q
look of disgust so full of. meaning that
the poor fellow thought he read in it
enough: II should think any
fool could understand that But John
was not the fool to comprehend it, so
had to be given up.
Many ludicrous blunders were the in
evitable consequence of this abandon
ment of the customary mode of convey
ing thoughts; the double orders given
the groceryman and the butcher, the
duplicate purchases of all sorts of odds
and ends, led to much confusion and
vexation in the Benton household.
One morning John Benton thought
he detected unusual preparations going
on in the culinary department, a grand
overhauling and busting of the best
china set, and sundry other indications
of some unusual event. Mrs. Benton
tried in her dumb-show manner to re-
fresh his memory in regard to an ex-
pected visit of which he had been pre-
viously made aware, but which had
slipped from his somewhat defective
memory. But she could not tell
whether or not she had succeeded in
her efforts to enlighten him. About
noon John came in, as usual, to dinner,
to find a room full of city visitors,
friends of Mrs. Benton. Now John, al
have had some notification of the event,
so that he need not have appeared in
their presence in his working garments;
but as there was now no help for it, he
tried to make the best of the situation
and greeted the visitors in rather an
awkward fashion. The latter, no
doubt, attributed Mrs. Benton's silence
toward her husband to modification at
his personal appearance. But, after
all, this affair passed without the ex-
posture so much dreaded by both par
ties.
John Benton had promised his wife,
previous to the unhappy occurrence that
had placed this gulf of silence between
them, money to purchase a new dress
for herself. One day he laid a roll of
bills upon the table and called her at
tention to it. She nodded assent, and
John was satisfied that her memory was
good for anything that related to her
personal adornment. But what was
his surprise and disgust when she re-
turned from town and gave him the
grocer's receipted bill!
One morning, upon Johns return
from the city, he astonished his wife
by bringing with him a lad, whom he
ushered into the kitchen with the re-
mark:
NOW, Teddy, this is your home, and
that is your mistress, Mrs. Benton, and
whatever she requires of you you are to
do. of COURSE
John Benton, in the utter loneliness
of his heart, and fearing lest his unused
tongue should become paralyzed by
this prolonged inactivity, or that he
should lose his voice for want of prac-
tice, had. like Robinson Crusoe, brought
home a little man Friday to talk to,
and also to use as a mouthpiece for
himself and wife. Things now went on
with less laundering and uncertainty,
for Teddy was made the medium for
conveying the thoughts or wishes alter
nately from ore to the other. But
John monopolized SO much of the boy's
companionship in his new-found delight
at giving vent to speech that Mrs.
Benton still led a rather lonely life.
But" thought she, sswhat is sauce
for the goose ought to be sauce for the
gandcr, and l will have a girl Friday
before the week is out, in order to
strengthen and improve my vocal
powers"
And so she did. Never was there 9
more astonished man than was John
Benton on the evening that he came
chattering with Teddy into the kitchen
and stopped upon the threshold to listen
to the irrepressible flood of female con.
versation that was being poured forth
within. Indeed, SO intent was Mrs
Benton or u~nburdening her long-pent
up feelings that she did not not notice
the transfixed figure of her husband
standing there till her startled cal
caught the remark:
"Well, Teddy, this is a surprise
party, isn't itp"
"Those. Maggie" said Mrs. Benton
are the other half of this family"
The Benton household was no Longer
at .ssixes and sevens" for want of in
terpreters between the two heads, bui
it was a prolonged Quaker meeting q.
far as mingling of the was con
cerned. Each of the heads of the house
now had a victim upon whichhe or sh,
could infict amending volubility.
1t was about this time that John com
municated to his wife the mistake il
regard to the dress money, and re
funded to her the amount. She il
turn, through her .mouth-piece, init
mated to him that his COMPANY ane
services in driving the family hors'
city to purchase her gown.
To this he readily assented, as he ais,
had business in the city. They ha'
agreed upon a plan of communication
before leaving home, through a small
slate such as dumb people use anon,
those who do not understand their Ian
guage.
On arriving at the gors eous stor
| they manifested an awkward uneasi
ness, and paused a few minutes befor
entering. This mute business in publ
was evidently not.relished by either q
the parties. But finally they entered
Mrs. Benton was greeted by a polit
salesman. She made known he
wishes, and soon a great mass of VAR
Gus fabrics of all colors was spread on
for her inspection. She asked the pric
of a piece of a particular shade that sh
fancfed; she priced another piece of
different color, and during all this tim
she was vainly trying in some indirec
way to get an expression of opinio
from her husband as to his preference
But she ANONYMOUSLY failed. Herfac
grew hot and excited. She was not o
speaking terms with her husband, an
yet she loved him well enough to refus
to purchase or wear a dress the colo
of which he might not approve. Sh
shrank from the humiliation of tn
slate. but finding there was no alterns
tive but a violation of her VOW, she Pre-
duced it, and asked him the simpl
question upon which her heart was SCI