West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-03-14
THE TRIALS OF JONATHAN MOL.
LILY.

LII 4.
Jonathan Mollifv was i'm despair. He
was ready 10 take an affidavit that no
more hOpcleSSly miserable specimens
of the genus homo existed than he, on
this beautiful Monday morning, Ammo
Domini 1898, in that rarest of favored
couutrics-the Golden State. This
lugubrious condition of affairs was
nothing new; had it been. he might
have plucked up courage and hoped
for brighter days in the future But.
years ago, he had given up all faith in
such well worn adages rs 1.-The darkest
cloud has silver lining" Never was
so long Il night but was vanQuishcd by
the Light Il cctcrd. Stuff and non
sense. The light was long time COM
ing, in his case, and he didn't see where
it was coming from, unless the gates of
n brighter world than this mundane
sphere should mercilully open before
him. II was all on account of Maria.
this darkness and chaos and misery,
and Is for any lifting of the cloud in
that direction, one might IA we'll look
Tor gold mine in the bottom of Salt
Lake. Maria hal the upper hands. and
she held the reins taut and firm.
They had been in her osseSsion-how
long? 1t seemed an eternity. but it
could not bc but half-doze years or
so, reckoning by little Jonathan. who
was a babe in the cradle when the
movement was crowned with success.
Movement" YOU repeat. Why, YES.
the woman rights movement now in
full swing from shore TO shore Of this
glorious Republic, and sweeping Maria
Molliiy along with it, wcll-ngh to the
humiliation of her true and trusty
spouse, jonathan. Here it was Monday
morning. and Maria, despite her LONG
residence on the Pacific Coast, positively
would not forget the principle incul-
Gated in her youth, among the far
famed Yankees, that, whatc'er betide.
Monday is wash-day. Yea, though the
skies fall, the weeks washing must b,
done, and Monday is the appointed
time. Jonathan was not sensible o.
any decided objection 10 this pro,
Grammc provided that Maria would i'm.
terVlew the tub and wash board herself.
but, alas this was rot the order of the
day in the new dispcnsation. Maria
was up and away. bright and early. on
official business connected with the an.
nual convention of the Grand Union
Female Associate II of Liberty am
Equality, which was announced to be.
gln at nine q. III. of this very dav, con.
tlnuIng through the week; and iona.
than could still hear her metallic voic,
calling from the buggy, as she gave tn,
detected Sized a cut OF the whip, anC
ratified out of the yard:
Hurry up, now. and get that wasl
out dryin in some kind If sea on
And don t let Jerem all get in mischief
And, remember. ! shall he home TO din
ner a. twelve % clock sharp"
Shades Of Ercbus, what n change il
that woman voice since those foolisl
days, ter years ago. when they tw,
went sparkling down by the river
bank, where the violet- grew the thick
est, and the birds carOlcd the sweet
est. a. If in sympathy with the lover
who strollci through their shady re
treats. Foolish days vet Jonathan
liked 10 rcca them But for tn
memory Of them, me sometimes fcare,
he would throw of the calling woke
and launch into the sea of ETERNITY.
W ho could have iorc-ccu such "A con
tIngeucv a- this2 who realized tb
star ling changes arising from pro
grcssivc timr-. which had mctnnlpr
pho5ct sweet Maria Mou.ton into th
present Maria Moifv2 Not .Jonat. ar
Molilty, or never would he have slipoe
ms neck into the moose matrimonial
mat was n certain 20. tradcsmcn bin
81 New Year s. But there was no dis
putting the fact women were nov
voters, olilcc-hDIders and PROPRIETOR
generally, and perhaps 10 was % natura
sequence OF centuries of so-calleI-
oppression that they carried tbnfr ,..,