Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-22
BRIGHT BITS.

Il WONDER how the lee cream is in there?'',
she thOughtfully observed. cold, guess"
was the chilling response, and they continued
their walk Boston Post.
CANADA is entitled to the name of ''The
land Of the free and the home Of the knave."
The American knave has too much freedom
over characterization Herald.
Miss H.-No, We do not advise early mar
riages Youth is the time for moonlight
walks and quiet talks and ice cream. Be
happy while you can.-PhitddelphiG CAL.
CoURTsHIP in Mexico is called ''doipg the
bear" We never knew a bear to treat to ice
cream, but when it comes to hugglng he
scoops the confectionery.-Burl Free
Press.
WHEN young man proposes to Boston
girl and she wants to know what salary he
receives, she asks him ito designate the
amount of his stipendiary emolument."
SOmerUilie Journal.
Host (really in agony about his polished in
laid fioor)-"Hadn't you better come on the
slip, you know" Guest (who has wooden
leg)-'Oh, it's all right, thanks! There's a
nail in the end, you know"
THE philosopher who remarked that young
men when calling on their sweethearts should
carry affection in their hearts, perfection in
their manners and CONNECTION IN their pockets.
had made a study OF the average feminine
nature to some purpose Wilmington Star.
CoURTsHIP in Mexico is called "dOlng the
bear" rObably because there Is trouble
brewing for the young fellow who makes too
'Ong pause before coming to the important
clause in which he asks his girl to amalga-
mate her identity with his, as 1t Were.-BoS-
ton Times.
SHE-"Mercy! how late we are. The con-
cert has commenced" He-"Oh, it cannot
be. 1t is not O'Clock yet" But listen.
They are playing a selection from wagner
now" "Oh! that is not the concert hall"
NO? Why. what is itY' "a boiler factory
PHILADELPHIA CAL,
WHILE a Burlington youth had his arm
around his girls waist .he other evening a
snap. The young man started, but recover
ing his composure said: "Oh, that's nothing
but press repOrt! and resumed work on the
tahy cOlumn.-Free Press.
EDITH-"What blunders the papers do
make. They say there are no marrfageable
young men at the watering places. Why, this
resort Is full of young men," Ma-''The pa
pers are right, my dear" Edith-'RighJ.
How can they be? But, by the way, what is
a marriageble young man2' Ma-"An only
son with a rich pa."-PhiladeLpbid CAL.
"PM afraid | was cheated on those light
ming rods" 'What's the matter with themF'
Il hadn't 'em up more'n a month when a
fearful stroke of lightning knocked 'em all
ways for Sunday, burned my barn and every
thing in it." but didn't the agent give you
a guaranteeP 'Oh. yes: wrote to him, and
he wrote back very consolingly." "What
did he saw" ''That lightning never strikes
twice in the same place."-Rochester Post
EspresS.
"PA," said Johnny Davidson, 'Mr. Smithers
never kisses his wife when she is dressed up
''How do you know so much?" "He said so
himself He told you so the other day" q
didn't hear him." why. yes you did. You
and he were talking about war, and he said
he had never smelt powder. Now, if he had
kissed his wife when she was dressed up he
would have been bound to smell powder, for
she has it all over her face when she is dressed
up."-Tesds SiftjRgs.
''IHAvE severe bruise on my arm, doctor.
and would like to have you give me something
to heal it," said sam Simpson. who always
has got something the matter with him. 'All
right" said the doctor, hurTiedly writing a
prescription. ''Send this to the apOthecary
once. Don't loose a minutes time. RUM
''Then you think the wound is dangerous"
said the patient. mo. | am afraid it Will
completely heal up before have a chance to
apply the salve and enter up a charge of 81
against yOu.''-TeDds SJtiags.
DOGGED BY THREE VIcTIMs.-
With head erect and eyes ablaze
He walks,
Nor cares he for the public gaze
He stalks
The funny poet
Whenever any sly remarks
They throw
No glance Of his doth show it.
On board the train he now embarks
To 60
On his vacation.
Who shadow him in close pursuit
To spy?
They hold him sure in bad repute.
Pray whyY
Read on.
One is an agent dire Of books.
Outcastl
He follows first with vengeful looks
That blast
His enemy.
The second is a plumber bold
And sprY.
The poet sees him, and looks deadly cold.
you'll die" The plot thickens.
The third is she Of the powerful jaw;
Beware
1t is your ill-used mother-in-law.
Despair!
''Tremble. tratOr!"
They have him now, his doom is sealed;
They know it.
Revenge! they cry, Our hearts are steeled,
Sir Poet. SI0to music.
''We,Ye got you in our power at last"
They cried;
''We'n make you eat your jokes" Then fast
He's swallowed one; 1t was his last
And died. Curtain.
-NeaC York Journal.