Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-04-07
PRACTICAL JOKES.
A LOADED Cigar Mandatory In
Chicago.


An advertiser in a Chicago paper calls
the attention of jokers to his stock of sold
Sport" cigars loaded with red fire, which.
be says, are just the thing for April /,
The statistics-of-local-dep repor.
ter visited the establishment in the gtise
Of a joker, and cleaned considerable in
formation regarding this comparatively
new industry. The place was evidently
what the proprietor claimed it to be-the
national headquarters of the loaded-cigar
business. Pyramids of boxes of cigars,
fresh from the hands of the packer, were
ranged along the walls and piled up in
the windows. The reporter said he
wished to see some cold Sports" The
proprietor led the way to one Of the pyra-
mids, and opening one of the chrOmO-cOv-
cred boxes displayed what seemed to be
a box of choice Havanas, fresh and fra
grant in all their treacherOus beauty.
"What.s the prIceT' asked the reporter,
feeling strongly tempted to buy five or
ten cents worth.
'Fifty-tive dollars" replied the pro-
prietOr.
".Ah And what are they usually re-
tailed atf'
Ten cents each, or three for a quarter,
l guess.'
Then in response to further questioning
the proprietor explained that his firm did
Il WMOlESdlC UQ5lHt5S Oulfs ana moreover.
that they bOssed the loaded cigar business
in the United States-a statement which
he made with evident pride.
''Ihere is firm in Cincinnati,v he con-
tinued, ''that tried to get this business
and initiate our cigar. They couldn't do
it. When their cigars got dry after being
kept while in stock, and a man went to
smoke one of them, why, it wouldn't
blaze out ROman-candle style like ours,
but would eXplOde-slap bang! and blow
the half of his head off,"
The reporter pOndered a little on the
number Of half heads that must be strewn
around Cincinnati. Then he said: 'EDid
they not know how to make the-the thing
you load with?''
1.-The cartridge. You bet they didn't!
That's our secret. If once that got out
we would have many imitatOrs, but as it
IS the trade Is not good enough paving
one to tempt manufacturers to spend
money in experimenting. 1t is easy to
get in shower of sparks while it is fresh
and damp, but the trouble is that when it
is perfectly dry it goes off like a shot.
Ours is not that kind. We have been
working at this thing about three years,
and we have got a cartridge perfectly
harmless and one that gives the same re-
suits in either condition, wet or dry
Further inquiry developed the state
ments that the lOaded-cigar trade booms
only about holiday time. About July 4
the sales reach as high as 10000 cigars a
week, and other holidays, such as Christ
man day, they run from 1000 to 5000 a
week. The sales about April l average
nearly 5000 a week. In the quiet time
between holidays the sales run as low as
1000 per month. These figures are not
for Chicago alone, but for the whole coun-
try. The cigars are manufactured in
Chicago, and the firm has an Eastern dis
tributing branch at New York. The pro-
prietOr believed these loaded cigars were
retailed at about fifty cigar stands in
Chicago, but complained that the trade
was not pushed with the energy usually
characteristic of Chicago business men.
lie hoped, however, to see it considerably
improved by and by.
1t would seem from this that the Chicago
people are not yet educated up to the
loaded cigar standard of humOr.
The sum of the reporters investigation
IS that the number of people who would
traitorOusly offer a poisonous concoction
of saltpetre and cabbage leaf in theIguise
of good cigar-the common symbol of
peace and friendship-is creditably small
In Chicago. Those who would do so would
throw stones at their grandmothers and
call it fun, and are just the kind of people
who deserve to be lynched on general
principles.