Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1884-08-28
The Greatest Show on Earth.
LOUISVILLE, OHIO

EDITOR CHRONICLE: Agreeable to the
bills, the Cleveland, Halpin and Warner
com bination, consisting of Tariff Strad.
die, Pension Twaddle, Duck Greek II. R.,
Financial EmbarassmentS, and Patent
Board bill Jumpers, together with one
mixed lot of hoodlEms and small boy
performers, one lot of snakes (cops.) and
lot of trained animals from the War
mock Geological Gardens, put 10 an ap.
pearance al this place on the evening of
the 23d inst. Aud although a prominent
chrislian( p gentleman offered to wager
S25, 900 that it was the biggest thing on
wheels" we cannot say we were espe-
cially impressed in that direction, not
withstanding we think the respectable
citizens of the village have reason to
congratulate themselves that it was no
worse. considering the material it was
composed of.
1t was decided early in the evening
that the Great Western had always been
good place for the Democratic Patriot
to GO to; it would also be in the eternal
Htness of things the best place for pro-
cession of D. P.'s to start from, and after
ten days drumming and bush beating,
to get the "Hanimals' in trim, at exactly
half past I, standard time, the procession
moved as follows: First, Morristown
jewsbarpists, followed by the Louisville
penny whistlers; next, Marx Albert, sa-
loonist, One-I'd Riley, Hon.(2) Stake.
holder Coffland, Mayor Cooper, Hon. J
D. Heinlein, and two other boys; next
the trained animals" and more boys
followed by the hoodlums and = large
looking critter enveloped in fly cover.
labelled. Gen. A. j. Warner, and supposed
to be the elephant of the occasion, form
ing quite an amusing pageantry to the
small boys and girls assembled on the
streets. Yet We are not prepared to say
at this writing, "'Twere worth ten years
Of peaceful life. one glance at their ar
ray" 1t was fouAd by actual measure
ment, when spread out thin, the process
sion was exactly 1929" feet long, and as
they halted on the show ground, the
animals gave three rousing screeches for
Cleveland, Halpin and Reform" evil
dencing the good training Of the critters.
Doors open at o'clock, when visitors
to the number of about 800 souls, one
third of whom were Republicans, were
permitted to examine the menagerie and
listen te geological lecture from the
world renowned" statesman, George
Smarty LentZ The first animal, Tariff
Straddle, the speaker said he did not
know anything about, and he believed
most of his Democratic brethren didn't /;
and some were unkind enough to say of
him in bated breath, they believed his
knowledge of other matters was def
" a a
tariff issues were finally made as clear
as mud and we're of the same piece of
cloth as the Chicago patent reversible
dOuble-back-action tariff plank The
next subject claiming the speakers at
tention was pension matters, in which
it was made to appear that a soldier who
fought in the Mexican war and after
wards volunteered to destroy the Gov
ernment that paid him for bis services,
was as much entitled to a pension as
the soldier of Antietam, Gettysburg and
Vicksburg-nothing said about voting
against increased pensions for the Union
soldiers.
The next animal on the list, Duck
Creek crOokedness. &C., &C., owing to
inclemency of the weather, didn't "show
up" but as combinations of this sort
don't always show everything on the
bills, We didn't claim onr entrance fee.
As the smaller animals were only the
monkeys of the show, We will not require
space to describe them.
We understand that the next point
visited by the aggregation will be Cam
bridge, Ohio, on the 9th inst., at which
place the elephant is to be white washed
by Joe Taylor and placed on exhibition
during the season as 1.-THE only living
white elephant ia Ohio" And we heard
some "onfeelin" fellows remark that they
wouldn't be surprised if he were left on
the company's hands after the season is
over. B.