The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-07
THE LIGHTNING ROD MAN.


What grand irregular thunder
thought |, standing on my hearth-ston
among the Acroceraunian hills, as tn
scattered bolts Doomed overhead, an
crashed down among the valleys, ever
bolt followed by zigzag irradiations
and swift slants of sharp rain, whicl
saudibly rang, like charge of spear
points, on my low shingled roof. Isup
pose, though, that the mountains here
abouts break and churn up the thunde
so that it is far more glorious here thai
on the plain. Handsome one at tn,
door. Who is this that chooses a time
of thunder for making callsP And why
don't he, manfashion, use the knocker
instead of making that doleful under.
takers clatter with his fist against the
panelp But let him in. All, here he
comes. "Good day, sir" an entire
stranger. spray be seated" What is
+ that strange looking walking-stick he
carries; "a fine thunder storm. SIR"
''Fine-awful!'
ssYou are wet. Stand here on the
hearth before the fire."
D..Not for worlds"
middle of the cottage where he had first
planted himself. His singularity i'm
PEELED a closer scrutiny. A lean,
gloomy figure. His dark and lank
mattedly hair streaked over his brow.
His sunken pitfalls of eyes were ranged
with indigo halos, and played with an
limo cuous sort of lightning. He stood
in puddle on the bare oak floor; his
strange walking stick resting at his
side. fA
1t was a polished copper rod, four
feet lengthwise attached to neat wood
en- staff by insertion into two balls of
greenish glass, ringed with copper
bands. The metal rod terminated at
the top tripodwise in three tines,
brightly gilt. He held the thing by the
wooden part alone. 1855
~. Sir said l, bowling politely, "have
I the honor of visit from that illustri-
Gus god, Jupiter Tonansp So stood he
in the Greek statue of old, grasping the
ligh thing bolt. If you be he or his vice
roy, have to thank you for the noble
storm you have brewed among our
mountains Listen: That was glori-
Gus peal. Ah to lover of the majes-
tic it is a good thing to have the Thun-
derer himself in ones cottage. The
thunder grows finer for that. But pray
be seated This old rush-bottomed
arm chair, grant, is poor substitute
for your evergreen throne on Olympus;
but, condescend to be seated"
"While l thus pleasantly spoke, the
stra niger eyed me half in wonder, and
in, or. of h1t Il
not m owe hand or foot.
.'Do sir, be seated; you need to be
dried ere going forth again.
Ipl anted the chair invitingly on the |
broad hearth, where little fire had |
been kindled that afternoon to dissipate |
,he d ampness, not the cold, for it was
Early in the month of September.
But without needing my solicitations,
md still standing in the middle of the
ioor; the stranger gazed at me porten-
iously and spoke;
''Sir," said he, 'eXcuse me; but in
tead of my accepting your invitation
o be seated on the hearth there, sol
,mnly warn you that you had best ac-
'ept mine and stand with me in the
middle of the room. Good heavens!'
lie cried, starting there is another
,ne of those horrible crashes. l warn
Tou, sir, quit the hearth"
Mr. Jupiter Tonans," said l, quietly
'olling my body on the stone, Il stand
'ery W ell here
'sAre you so horribly ignorant then,"
lie cri ed, ''as not to know that by far
he m ost dangerous part of house
Turin such terrific tempest as this, is
! fire place"
IN ay, / did not do that involunta-
lily stepping upon the first board next
o tn e stone.
The stranger now assumed such an
unpleasant air of successful admoni-
ion, that--quite involuntarily again-I
topped back upon the hearth and
brew myself into the erectest, proudest
POSITION | could command. But | said
othing.
For heavens sake" he cried, with
strange mixture of alarm and intimi-
heavens sake, get off the
earth Know you not that the heated
ir and SCOT are conductors, to say
othing of those immense fire-dogsP
luit the spot conjure-I command
ou."
''Mr. Jupiter Tonans, am not ac-
ustomed to be commanded in my own
ouse."
"Call me not by that pagan name. J
'ou are profane in this time of terror
'sSir, will you be so good as to tell ]
he your business? If you seek shelter
-om the storm, you are welcome so |
,ng as you be civil, but if you come on :
usiness, open it forthwith. Who are
CUP"
81 am dealer in lightning-rods,'"
aid the stranger, softening his voice;
my especial business is-Merciful
eaven! what crash!-Have you ever
cen struck-your premises l meanP