The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1884-08-14
NAsBY.
Mech 10 the Disgust Of Mr.. hasby, Joe
BigleF TelegFaphs the Nstienal Demo
cratic COMMITTEES for an lnterpre-
tation Of the Tariff Plank.


In the State Nv Kentucky, (JOOly 80,
1884. 4.-TTOledo, o. Blade. l-Ther are
beings In this world wich are con-
stantly maxim trouble, and that feend,
Joe Rlgler, is one NV them, and the
cheef.
We he'd called another meetin for
the Durpus NV ratifyin the nOmina-
shuns wieh we he'd dOOly annOunst by
a nOtiss written by Issaker Gaviit, and
posted uD in BascOm's bar room to
make shoOr that all the DimOcrats uv
the corners wood see il. / sOt 10y IL
fur day and red II 10 EN- to insure n
full attendance.
Joe Bigler happened In and red 1t,
and sed Il wuZ a good lice to hev a
ratificashen meetin. He shouldn't
hisself probably vote for Cleveland
and Hendrix, but it wuz the proper
racket to hev such meetins to discuss
the platforms and SIGH, to the end NV
citizens voting intelligently, and
he would swell the meetin by bein
present hisselE
Then 1 knowed ther would be
trouble, and / would hev postponed
the meetin until sometime when he
was sure 10 be away, ef l could, but
unfortunately / eOOdn't.
Then ] begged him not to come, but
he insisted. He wood. de felt 1t 20
be relijus dOOty.
"Reliius dOOtyl" / remarked sar-
kastically, "what is your relijun ?"
II havn't got much" sighed Josef
pensively. "What I hev Is mostly
summed up in this: / labor vigorous
ly every day with myself not to be ez
mean ez ] know how TO be. l shel be
there.n
The mite cum, the horn wuz tOOiid,
and Deekin Program, Issaker Gavitt
aud myself took one sustainer TO help
US thrO' the hour and half we should
be in the meetin and deprived NV sus-
tenanee, and then we went over 10 the
meetin-hOuse.
II wuz a cheerful site. Mirandy
POgram, assisted by the other Dino
cratic ladies NV the Corners, he'd got
out the flags and banners we hey yOO-
sed since 1861, and he'd festOOned the
walls with em. There wuZ the good
old banners under which we marched
to defeat under SeymOre, and Nick
lellan, aud Greeley, and Tilden, and
Hancock, with the same inscriptions
on EN-: Death 10 AbOiishnists!
ouGi w MlAG w lliilllAtl AAt Nuiil lltllGu
10 Marry Niggers ~ "White Hus-
bands or None J" "Shel the Niger,
WIeh is a Beest, COntaminate the
Poles Beside the White Man >"
Honor TO the COnfederit Braves !"
'"Them Wieh Vote as Linkin NOtld |
Are ez Bad eZ the GOriller Hisselfn
and various other mOttoes NV like
nAeheF.
And on the wall, in the place NV |
honor, wuZ the identikle rifle wich !
that old saint, Deekin POgram, bush
Whaeked Fedrel pikkits at mite, after |
he he'd been sellin EN- watermelOns all |
day. The Corners prize that rifle, and |
It Is alluZ decorated when we hev /
DimOcratic meetins.
One advantage Nv bein a Dimekrat |
ct the Corners Is, we don't change at
all. The banners we marched under |
in 1851 do list ez well fur us now, fur |
we are constantly fitin the old fife over |
agin, and alluE will until death do ns
part.
1 assOOnred the chair, and Issaker |
Gavitt took the SeeTetary's table, ex-
ofashO, and ] made the speech ez
yoOsual.
1 cOmmenst an elabeaate discushin |
NV the platform Nv the party, and wuZ
gittin on very well till / come to the
tariff plank, when Joe Bigler riz and
interrupted me. / knew the cuss
would do Il, and my hart went down
Into my boots.
81 BEG pardon, said Josef, "fOr in
terruptiu the elOkent speeker, and
WOOdent do It only l desire to help |
him over the eggsact meenin NV the
platform, over which / understand
there hez bin sum trouble. Ef ther Is
anything on earth wich shOOd be clear
and we'll defined-sO cleer that he who
runs may Fead-it Is the platform NV
principles NV a crate party. 1t shOOd
be 50 cleer that the humblest intelleek
should know eggsaekly wat is meant
by it and wat them wieh stand on IL
propose 10 do about it.
"ir0 the end uv havin plane and
cleer lnteFpretashen nv this tariff
plank Il Okkurred to me, when / was
over TO Seeeshunville, 70 go TO the
highest authority on the subjick,
which Is MF. Barnum, the Chairman
NV the Nashnel DimOcratic Committy.
M anybody on earth ought TO know
wat The platform means 1t is Barnum,
Isn't it?n
The meetin ali yield "Yesrn when
Josef went on.
I may as well menshun that / as
sumed the name NV our esteemed
lriend, Issaker Gavitt, and telegraph
ID thusi
"T6 William II BdrRua, ChCcrmdn
80 thc NdshuCl DiBlOcrdfic committee:
Does the DimOcraLie platform meen
or free trade ?"
2 'IssAKER GAvITF, ManyoOfaktreF.
"The anser / reserved wuz entirely
IL red thus
10 Issakcr Gauiff, MIauJdcturcr:
ne tariT ps.nk IN the Dimokratlc platform
necna tzrif refarin, With . iendcucyio 10 The PER-
aekahan ~ Americaa iahur By lmposiu heevy .
Iasiies % the nasnyuolskturers o. Bisais.l. Bar
own ksagy on thc nertsck kahun tendency amlons
or oparsiives- W. 4. RarnuHi cheerfqah-"' 30
Issaker, wicl hez a small interest In
rolIiu mill, ria to his feet and yelled ,
4 knOwed III / knoWed iti Nv
ourse we want tariff reform, but the
,laffOr1n is all in the dlreckshun nv ,
'erteekshuu. HOoFay ~
ssI shood also siate,n continued JO-
ef. "that when / returned 10 the
,6rHars photographed wunst more 10 !
fr HaFnum to be shoOT I he'd not
him, only I yOased q
be name nv our ekally esteemed
Fiend Deekin RngFam. This wuz nay i
econd dispatch .
.isfnt & ire erarf meenin Nv the tsrif plank IN :
u Dlaacfatic platform ask a. asFGeTin Dial- =
1rafie szrieulhifisl. in fsrllin sckshen. =
pEEzrE SETu PoGRAN.
uThe ansef cum hack very prompt /.
n Dsetsa 50 Pssruas TIE tariH piank IN the 4
Imecrn,ic plaiioEm is entirely explicit. u >