The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1884-11-12
Political Lyrics, No. 2
THE COLLECTOR

There was in mid ocean sweet little town,
Set in midst Of greenvaeys near mountains SO brown
This dear little town was so sweet and so blest,
Twas place TO lie down in heaven to rest!
This town was complete with fine Custom House,
Where all went on strictly, nor cricket NOR nouse
Could hop or could squeak in Its own little Way
II II did-then be sure theTed be something to pay!
The officers all were so courteous and true
They never snubb'd so they never lOok'd blue,
LoOkd up TO their chief a man OF rare parts.
SO bright just, and mild, that he gaiud all their
hearts.
This chief was Collector and very precise
In this Custom House nne he kept all so nice,
Put n lot only that-his accounts were exact
And true 10 a cent--be assured that's fact!
lie had those below him well under the rein.
But still OF HE boss-ship he never was vain,
lie sent all the cash to the treasury vault
But with it a youcher-but that was no fault.
Tie true, there something however quite queer,
Which came every day to the surface more near;
Twas WHISPERED that one Of those officers bland,
Those men above mention'd had work'd underhan d,
Twas said that he wish'd the boss place to obtain
But how he got at 1t was not very plain,
So he went to a who'd great deal to say.
Aud askd very humbly would he show the way.
81 Oh yes my dear friend it is not hard to find,
THE best ways to give him piece Of your mind.
TELL hin. that the office is not big enough,
To hold you and him-just cut 1t up roughl
" Pick quarrel dear Sir, never mind about what
He's not big man, but his temper lie hot
we don't like him a bit for he's far too precise:
wen have him out If you'll take my advice.
And when once well rid Of him you shall be boss;
You'll hnd my good piekings az profit no lossi
Z" With lots OF refreshment, beer brandy and gin,
So pluck up your spirits and go in and wini"
At this haraugue that man upsprauc,
He looked so sly, he droopd his eye,
Began to think, and gave wink.
And then nod, 1t was 80 odd.
He'd been set down, by half the town
As something wanting in ballast.
But the Collector was his protector
And being bold, OF him took hold,
Despite the din, the town in
Gave him berth, man Of worth
And hop'd the wound was callous'd.
This worthy then thinking himself diplomat
Acted on the advice lust now given go pat
He gave himself airs. pck'd quarrels and all
Forgetting that pride goes before great hll'
He showed hard heart and he laughed in his sleeve
And said 70 his CHIEF; or you or leave,
II thorght l was boss-do tel' yes or no.
| .. Or Won CT leave. then Sir it shall be you
Your grateful regard till now neer know,
SO pack up your traps and quick march down stairs
There that's your reward for Just putting on airs
He had then 10 70 and was sorcly disgusted
To think he'd been sold by the man he so trusted,
Ii did not occur TO him, although great his wit.
That sometimes the bitter gets dreadfuly bit!
He'd been badly duped by that wonderful man.
Who'd thought out and suggested that neat little plan
| He hoped to be raised, by that stratagem bold
But TO his great horror was left in the coldl
Now the real diplomat had done but half his work,
whatc'er were his views he behaved like Turk,
So he called that col Hector 10 pttend his divan,
And cut on his " head without law, without bani
| With bcctling brow, and lips compressed,
And bursting heart, within mis- breast,
Col lector thus his foe ADDRESSED
Thoul Infamous untrue!-'
| But bitter thoughts him soon possessing,
He to the new man gave him blessing,
And kindly helped him through.
Poor Collector, Brave Hector,
NOby met official doom,
| Just as a Saint, made no complaint,
| Did not beake him TO his room;
| But true as steel, TO cOpiDi0Huedi
| He calmly waits the by and bye
| And come Il must, when in the dust,
His proud oppressor prone shall lie.