The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-06-05
A MORMON on HIS TRAVELS.
He Fails to Make Converts on Train Full
of Politicians.

Il
Teander Richardson in Detroit Times.
| In the smoking car that night the tough look
ing stranger sat beside another man just across
| from where | was pumping away at a railway
! cigar. He seemed to be rather ANXIOUS that PEG
pie should hear what he was talking about be-
cause his conversation was pitched III d high
tone of voice.
1t soon came ont that he was Mormon who
had been over to Wales, his native country in
search of converts He smelt like menagerie,
and think he had the most robust and diffusiye
bad breath ! ever came in contact with. lie
was troubled with constant anxiety to know
what State were going through, ana
he had habit of coming and leaning over
the other passengers ard asking them
all sorts of questions He was in
many respects the typical Mormon, dirty, I'M
kempt, low browed, brutal visaged and densely
ignorant What aggravated the case was that
his ignorance was of the communicative klnd
Hou have probably met. in travelling, Internal
fools who are always nstructing youabout some
thing This particular Mormon was one OF tins
kind, and he got himself into an argument in
the smoking room out of which he did not come
with particularly flying colors
Some of his gems of thought are worth preser-
walton. He said: Joseph Smith, the founder
of our church. was the wIsest man ever seen on
this earth since Jesus Christ. We regard the
Mormon Church as the truest religion and we
verts all the time. We send out our
missionaries without purse or scrip to all
parts Of the earth. They are not paid for do
ing this work. but at the command of the church
they must give up home, business and every
thing to go out searching for converts. We get
people from all over the world except Ireland.
There are very few Irishman indeed amongst
us. Wherever the Catholic Church is strong
we have difficulty in finding any support We
have brought in great lot of the Y tab Indians,
however. They work pretty well. and are more
industrious than the men of that race are com
monty credited with being. We have always
got on well with the red men because we dis
covered early in the proceedings that it was
cheaper to feed them than it was to fight them
The government will never interfere with us
We have too many votes. All we want Is to be
left alone
''How about polygamy!'
''Oh not many of US have more than one wife,
1t is only the man who is wealthy who is al
lowed to take a second wife, and then only with
the consent of his first We have more of Amer
leans than of any other nation Next to Ameri-
cans in point of number are the English, and
then the Welsh and Scandinayians."
care not those low scrubs | have seen landed
at Castle Garden on their way to Utah at
tracted by the duplex wife scheme of your re-
ligiona'
mo. They come because they are converted
We do nothing for them as general thing after
their arrival but set them to looking after them
selves and they get work the best way they can
Sometimes a little money is given them as a
capital to go into business with, but not often"
Did you know that in the original Book of
Mormon there was a distinct and unmistakable
injuetion combining every mans matrimonial
complications to one wifeE
''No such thing"
81 will bet you 500 to $50, or $4,000 to half
that sum l can produce that book Silence and
amazement ON the part of the Mormon. l will
bet you any sum you want in the ratio of ten to
one that it is genuine original book of Nor
mon. Mormon still speechlessl. / will bet you
a cool hundred that the chief elder in Salt Lake
will tell you he is willing to give thousand dol
lars apiece for all the copies of that work he can
find. The fact is, your id old church was a
failure until that clause in the book was struck
out As soon as you could offer the low-dewn
classes salvation and immortality combined they
focked over to you by the hundred. Your
whole concern is based on doubling up your
wives"
But it is good moral scheme. Our girls are
pure and virtuous-"
It'll they are married. Stranger, / have
been through Utah, and / never saw so many
corrupt married women in the same space of
time in all my life. There is no such thing as
decency among them"
Good night" said the Mormon, rising.
"Say stranger shouted the other after him,
''you ought have two wives" s
What for?' ..-i-
$40 divide your breath between. 1t would
kill any one woman"
The discounted Salt Lake missionary sloped
and left the smoke-room crowd roaring.