The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-02-21
SMILES.
,.6 A BARRIERS sign in Chicago reads
Grim 4 Barrett"

| Osatlstics snow that girls who
sing baby Mine" never get a
husband. All papers please copy.
When a cow scratches her riobt
ear with her left hind foot yo1
may look out for a change IN the
weather.
The worst cold spell of div sea-
SON is said to be on a Cleveland
sign, to-wit: Else Kream Sal
lune."
DR.. Deems says kissing is a
purely American habit. Then the
other folks don't know what fun
they're missing.
When a billy goat unceremoni-
ously butts q man down, it can be
faithfully said he is "the power
behind the thrown"
A little boy, whose sprained
wrist had been relieved by bath
ing in whiskey, surprised his mo-
her by asking: did papa sprain
his throat when he was boy?"
"Now. is the time to SOW tur-
nips," says a verdant Georgia
editor. Then a Mississippi scribe
rises to remark that in his State
they COW turn;p seed-not turnips.
"This Hotel uses Oleomargarine,"
will hardly help the appetite of
fastidious guests, and yet this is
the sign the ambitious Legislator
proposes to put up in hotels.
Jerold said to an ardent young
gentleman, who burned with de-
sire to see himself in print: "Be
advised by me, young man, don't
take down the shutters before
there is something in the window"
In Salt Lake City the sidewalks
are twenty feet wide. This, the
Troy Times thinks, is to permit
mans widows to walk abreast, in
stead of in couples, when going to
his funeral.
Wanting to have a quiet time
the other day the editor hung the
Office towel outside the front door,
and the usual run of callers all
thought some one was dead and
passed by on tiptoe.
According to this new stand
ard. Minnie, we must set the clock
back about ( q minutes, eh?"-
Minnie (stillin the market, -Four
minutesl Put it back lots, papa,
nothing less than ten years will do
me any good"
Making q young man a clerk in
a dry-goods store, it is said,
knocks all thoughts of matrimony
out OF his head. He not only
learns what it costs to dress a wo-
man, but he realizes how they can
talk.
A little boy was asked if he
studied hard. "Well," he replied,
II don't hurt myself at it." But
If you don't study hard you will
never be President" said his ques-
toner. NAV" replied the boy,
II don't expecter be; I'm Dem
mycrat.
A contrast Of wishes: 81 wish"
exclaimed Birdie Mcbride, enthu-
siaStically, to Gus DeSmith; 81
wish this organ had more stops to
it" "And l." murmured Gus, in
a stage aside, Il sincerely wish
it had one-one eternal stop-a
kind of a short stop, as it were"
A book-bipder said to his wife
at their wedding: at seems that
now we are bound together, two
volumes in one, with clasps. -
Yes" observed one of the guests
Zone side highly ornamental Tur-
key morocco, and the other plain
calf.
"My darling, you do not bestow
on me SO much affection as you
did before we were married" re-
marked q pouting bride of four
years to her husband. Don't I?'
he replied. "No, Charles, you do
not; you pay very little attention
to me" said his wife. "Well, my
DEAR" observed the wicked hus-
band, did you ever see a man run
after a horse car after he had
caught it?"
A novel fire extinguisher was
tried in New York Friday. A
large dry-goods box was saturated
with tar and kerosene and set on
fire. When the blaze was hottest
a hand grenade containing chem
icol fluid was thrown into it, and
the fire was checked. Two or
three more grenades had the effect
of extinguishing it entirely. 1t
may not be long before every man
can have a fire department of his
own always at hand, and thus be
able to stop confagrations IN their
incipiency.
II disease has entered the sys-
tenn the only way to drive it out is
to purify and, enrich the blood.
To this end, as is acknowledged by
all medical men, nothing is better e.,