Bismarck tribune., 1884-04-25
JOHN L. SULLIVAN declares himself Tor
blaine. This adds considerable strength to the
plumed knights following. -

TnpEN was feeling poorly yesterday and
would see no one but the reporter who called
for his daily denial that he would be candl-
date.
W. infer from notices in the Fargo papers
that the dogs in the Uncle Toms Cabin CON-
pany, now headed this way, have very poor
support. -----
VERY soou will the rural lass
Walk in the wood,
In her airy mood,
And dig in the ground for sassafras'
- Puck.
A sourHBR1DaE, Conn.,, school teacher re-
oeived the following excuse recently: Iomle
stade home cuz he he'd no close and that exouz
enuff god noze."
L1rE:-Duds (posing for q bold, bad man)-
SLOW does water taste, Miss Belasys?" Miss b.
..You don't mean to say they've brought you up
all this time on milk?"
A STRAWBERRY measuring three and half
inches one way by four the other has just
reached Now York from Florida 1t Is the
property of joint stock company.
INA Minnesota breach of promise suit brok.
en- down front gate was brought into court, and
when the contending parties saw it they looked
at each other and both blushed painfully.
Onr of the routes to the Coeur d'Alene mines
is called the "jaokass trail" 1t is quite extern
sively patronized by its namesakes who walk
over it loaded down with hope and blankets
A CHICAGO woman has been arrested Tor eteai-
ing q newspaper from doorstep. She has not
vet explained whether che was IN search OF
knowledge or for reinforcments for her bustle'
/. BALTIMORE has nan who has not slept ten
hours in the last three months. 1t is not SO
atated, but the fact is generally admitted that
ha holds down q chair on morning newspaper.
AN Ohio woman was recently snatched from
the verge of the grave by the prayer cure. A
nraver from Ohio was such rarity that the
Almighty probably thought it worthy OF special
attention.
Er MAHD1 transacts his business at night
and sleeps during the daytime In this he re-
sembles the American newspaper man and the
sable student of heniculture IN the balmy
south.
BosroN GLOBE: A Yonkers bride of two sum-
mers, says she ia happier than before marriage
Then she used to worry about what dress she
.bould wear; but now, as she has only one, q
great losd has been taken off her mind.
TT ia now asserted that Judas Iscariot was not
40 black as he was painted. When congress 1s
entirely through with the Fitz John Porter case
some congressional friend of the late Mr.. lsoa-
riot will probably introduce bill for his re-
lief.
IT ia stated that a medical authority of WASH
inrton has discovered that the average longevity
of the female chorus singer is 100 years. This
accounts for the large Eumber of ancient maid
ems now travelling with dizzy blonde companies
A WOMAN with five pairs Of twins took the cars
at Woodbine, Ia. the other day, and the entire
partv of eleven travelled on one ticket, none OF
the children being old enough to pay one fare.
The corpse of the husband was in the baggage
car. en- route east for burial.
FRrE PREss: Young Bostonian, who has mar
ried country wife: my dear, I am going
down to NJ. Arbeeque's tonsorial parlors for q
few minutes" She: "Oh, Charles. dear! there
isn't anything the matter with your tensils, is
there2"
FALL River Advance: A man may admire the
dear little tootsey wootseys of the bride ne as
about to lead to the altar but he isn't so enthu-
siastic about them afterward-when she insists
upon her marital right to warm them in the
small of his back.
THE smell Of soap -suds in the air,
The floors and wallis entirely bare,
The piles of debris every where,
The housewife with vacant stare,
And handkerchief tied DER her hair,
Are signs which al men fear.
They know that when they stumble DER
The ,,oka and kekt1ea IN the f1OOr.