The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-01-15
What a Baby Costs.
From the Milwaukee Sun

WHAT ohDy COsLS-
From the Milwaukee Sun.
The following is going the rounds.
written by an editor who thinks he is
smart, very likely: "a baby can wear
out dollar pair OF shoes in twenty four
hours. 1t can keep Its father busy adver-
tising in the newspapers for nurse. 1t
can occupy both sides of the large sized
bed manufactured simultaneously. 1t can
make the author of its beings wash bill
foot up to $5 week, and not be feeling
at all well. 1t can crowd to suffocation
the smoking car of railroad train with
indignant passengers between two sta
tons. cause its father to be insulted by
every second class boarding house keeper
in the city who never takes children. 1t
can make an old bachelor in the room
adjoining use language that if uttered in
the street, would get him in the peniten-
tiary fo- two years. 1t can, in few
minutes, drive man frantically from his
home and cause him to seek the compan =
ionsh;p of locomotive blowing off
steam"
1t is cowardly to abuse person who
cannot talk back, and the man who thus
abuses the baby. poor little thing that is
not responsible for coming to earth to
annoy fools, is fit for treason, or jumping
board bill. A baby never annoyed any
person with soul, unless there was
something the matter with it, for which n
grown person is responsible. It is true, a
baby can wear out pair of kid shoes IN
"a hours, but if the proprietor of the
baby does not like to stand the expense
he can buy cheaper shoes that will last a
year. 1t can keep father busy advertis
ing for nurses, if the father is fool, but
if he dislikes to advertise for nurses he
ca;I nurse the baby himself, or he needn't
have any baby. If the kicking father
does not like to pay wash bills he can
wash the clothes himself The baby is
not TO blame because second hand board
ing houses do not want children around
and the boarding houses are not to blame
either. The father of a baby should have
home before he does a baby, and then he
will not be insulted. But the last sentence
of the above item is what makes me hot
"A baby can in few minutes, drive a
man frantically from his home," etc. No
man" could be driven from home by his
baby. A person who could be driven from
home frantically by the crying of his own
baby is cowardly isckass, and baby
ought to be ashamed of such a father.
Such man is a thing A man would
stay at home and help seek the cause of
the baby's peevishness. and correct it.
The Sun does not believe the writer of the
above article ever had baby, but if he
d,d- he ls a no account sort of a Journal
lStlc dude, without n soul If the man
has baby. what precious reading the ar
ticle will be to him some day when he
comes home and is met at the door by his
pale faced, frightened wife, who, with
tears in her eyes, says: Go for the
doctor at once; the baby, | fear, is dying "
The cold chills will creep up his back, and
his hair will feel as though it is turning
gray; as he starts for the doctor he will
feel as though his legs never acted so
slowly, and he will pray to his God that
the life of the abused little one may be
spared till he gets back; aad he will think
of the cruel words he has written about
babies, and wonder if the doctor will be
home. He is 'driven frantically from
home" now, but not to seek ''the compan-
ionship of locomotive blowing off
steam He is after the doctor to save the
life of the baby that wears out a pair of
kid shoes in day, and he would buy all
the kid shoes in the world if the baby
would live. He gives the doctor lively
race back to the house, and he is not
thinking about five dollar washbill The
father who writes such stuff about babies
hurries to his home wondering if the little
treasure 10 alive or dead, and the coward
dare not go into the room and face the
little sufferer Men may find fault with
the trouble of raising babies, and think
they are smart, but when they have stood
by the bedside of one of their own, and
watched its last breathing and seen the
little life go out, and felt that tugging at
the heart that can never be described by
mortal tongue or pen, and have
followed the little one to the grave and
heard the cold, cruel clay rattle upon the
coffin and 60 home to the deserted house
and see baby's playthings everywhere,
through tears, they will never again talk
funny about baby being a nuisance
The smart Aleck who wrote the above
could never have witnessed the baby
smile OF welcome to papa when he came
home. or felt little fat arms around his
neck. and looked into little eyes that are
heavens windows, or seen the hearty
laugh that shows sharp little new teeth
coming through the sweet red gums, OF
had the little one get astraddle of his
foot for ride, or seen the face at the
window as he came up the street from a
day Of toll. Had the writer of the above
experienced these pleasures he would have
written different and said: "A baby is a
ray Of human sunshine sent to earth to
brighten the pathway of people who have
souls" No, the writer of the above is
man without heart, whose idea of bliss
is second class boarding house where
babies are not wanted, and whose death
bed will be in hospital, his attendants
charitable people, his mourners will be
those who can get free hack ride to the
graveyard, and his monument should be
a piece of soapstone engraved, Here lies
the remnant of star idiot, who, hating
babies, hated everything that was good,
and he didn't die moment too soon, and
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