The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-02-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A true saying: "When 1 did well,
heard it never; when did i'll, heard
it eyer. IN. Y. Herald.
"A Butler man in Springfield, Mass,
is wearing straw hat, which he is not
to change until the General is elected
again.-BoSton Post.
-ssYour father is entirely bald now,
isn't he?n said an Austin man to the
son of a millionaire. ''Yes," replied
the youth, sadly, 'I'm the only heir he
has left. .''-Teras Stftings.
Although women have the right to
propose in leap year, there is no law
that compels the men to say yes. This
fact ought to encourage young men to
stand firm. philadelphia Herald.
Yes said Henderson, ''Miss Forte
plays beautifully. L don know any
thing about music myself, but 1 know
she's splendid player, because all the
other players say her music is just hor-
rid. "-Boston Transcript.
The girls have formed their plans
for leap year. To the bashful lover
they will say, ''Do you like homemade
bread?" If he says ''Yes," the reply
will be, .Well, can bake Then if
he doesn't take the hint, they are to
seize both his hands, fall on their knees
and put the question direct. Yonkers
Gazette.
At party: Merchant-ssAh!h how
| DIDO, Mr.. Blank? How is your paper
coming out? l read it daily. By the
way, you are getting up report of this
grand assembly, suppose?" Editor
s.NO. By the way, how is your store
coming on? My cook buys good deal
of YOU. You are here drumming up
custom, suppose. ."-Phitadelphia Cuu.
-"How long do you think it will
take you to cure me, doctor?" ''Well
Mr.. Blank, l think you can get back to
your desk at the bank in about month,
but you will have to remain under treat
ment several years" "But you mis-
take. | am not Mr. Blank the banker,
but MIR. Blank the postman. 80, that
alters the case. There is nothing the
matter with you but little biliousness.
You will be well in week. "-Bostom
Post.
A burly, weather-beaten tramp re-
Gently entered a bank, and, addressing
the urbane cashier, asked for five shill-
ings. Five shillingsr' exclaimed the
cashier, ssisn't that rather high?
should think three-pence would be
about your size, wouldn't it?'' ''Well, y
said the tramp, ''if you think you un-
derstand this begging business better
than do, perhaps we had best change
places. If it suits you I'm agreeable. y
Detroit Free Press.
Plantation Philosophy: Too much
perfume makes man sick. De sweet
es' smell in all de worr is nuthin'
When de eurmunity takes up de notion
dat a man is er fool, dar ain much us T
him kickin' agin de Judgment
ain afferd O. de man what frown!
when he gifts mad, but de man wha
smiles when he's mad makes me fee
mighty oneasy. De man what goe
ter church de mos ain al'ers de sho' es
o ooia' ter heaben. De duck washe
hisse'f heep oftener den de turkey, bu
airter all he ain ha'f ez clean.-Arkdn
S0tO TraCcier.
There are forty-three registered
bowling clubs for ladies' in New Yorl
and eight in Brooklyn, four of the lat
ter having connection with young pea
pies church societies, while there ar
any number of public places in NeN
York where private alley is reserve,
for lady patrons, writes correspond
ent from the metropolis. Some of tn
older clubs for ladies have adopted
very comfortable, natty uniform G
navy-blue iarnel, very much like tn
? lawn tennis costumes, save that tn
skirts are IN the shape of very room
1 pantaloons, the bottoms of which reac
1 to the shoe tops. a most sensible dress
indeed N Y GraDhic.