The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1884-01-10
"A WITLESS THING. y

WIlESS hlMG.
"A document in madness: thoughts and re-
membranes fitted."-Hamlct, act is., scene 5.
"Now remember, Lord Gravton,"
said the Doctor, solemnly, "all / told
you. Iou are very welcome to come to
our ball, though, as rule, we only ask
q certain set of wise men and maidens
who know our ways and their ways.
Still, you are good-looking, humorous,
and CHEEKY, and if you are sensible you
can enjoy yourself. and, maybe, do
them o world of good. l believe in
electricity as a curative agent-not the
quack nonsense of belts and chains and
music boxes, that only shake the
nerve centers, but the real electricity
Of animal spirits, the tonic of good
health"
Il shall do exactly as am bid, said
Lord Grayton, handsome, fiorid, mus
cular young man, strong as horse,
buoyant as balloon, just back after a
self-imposed exile of five years in India
with the big game; "bu. tell me of all
these confounded cautions again. / did
lot of dancing of various kinds years
ago, before l went after the tigers
and he laughed as mingled memories of
Mayfair and the Lotus club swan back
to him-"and I've tried both the Corro-
boree and the Salonga; but 'pon honor
! never danced with lunatic girl yet. :"
"Are you quite sure Of that?" said
the Doctor, grimlv; "they are to be met
with outside Copswood, can tell you.
However, listen; the rule is simple. Be
civil and don't contradict. Ii old
Crackton asks you to play chess, play.
He's good player, and will beat You
fairly if he can; ii he can't he'll make
q false move and call 'checkmate,' and
then you must resign. Ii poor Snobby
thinks you are the Prince, and 'Sirs'
you all over the place, and throws out
hints about being asked to Sandring-
ham; if you are asked to listen to the
Ginning clock in Bakers interiors, or
to avoid some one else, because he's
glass and might break, You mus. do
your best to he courteous to them ali,
and on no account laugh at their fam
cies."
sounds rather jumpy. And the Ia
lies?"
"I'll see to that, and introduce YOU to
the incest, and tell you what to avoid
speaking about; and men will make the
talking for themselves. the women don't
talk much"
"Sign of insanity, l suppose. And
what am to talk about?"
Everything save some one thing
the Empress OF Austria, or the stage,
or white roses, or Mr.. Mullock, or black
stockings. I'll give you the cue-nevel
fear; only it may happen that one oi
them will ask you to dance, and then
you must steer as best you cau--talk
society or art on chance. My own girls
and their friends get on famously with
the male patents, and You must Il,
your best. Come, You are going to be
our best tonic tonight, and you mus,
be OFF and dress; . sharp. mind, as the.s
all go to bed at midnight"
"Queer thing this" soliloauized
Grayton, as he completed an elabo, at,
dressing, beginning my first season
after five years by dancing with lot
of lunatics. Hope they won't weal
straw in their hair; if they do 9hal
bolt to the Congletons' dance
| He had many strange adventures tha'
evening as he strolled about the prett,
ball room at the Copswood priyat.
asylum. He was duly defeated ct ches'
by the venerable Crackton, who delib
erately slid back captured queen on
the board, and performed prodig;es o
valor with her. He sympathized will
the gentleman who had swallowed
crocodile, and he noticed the pale
cadavcrous man who amused himsel
by counting the lights on each side o
the room and singing softly to himself
"Sorry l can't admit it. sorry l can
admit it!" He had been an acrosti
editor once upon time. He notices
tho fussy little man with the pale blu
/ shaven face, who wanted to stage-man
age the sixteen lancers, and wi
pitcously entreated the dancers ito -
that all over again, please, and try /
get it crispier;" and the erratic jonrna'
ist, who wrote paragraphs On his shir,
cuffs, and many other folks that passe,
by in the most pageant Of nnsettle,
reasons.
"There's King Lear" whispered th
Doctor, as n very foolish. fond ol,
man, four score and upward" pass
them, mutterlng OF Brighton AS.
"you know who lie was? and he " his
pered name in Grayton's ear tina
made the nobleman whistle softly.
And are there any Ophelias, who's
young maids wits should be as morta
as an old mans lifc?" asked Grayton
showing that he knew his Shakspear
rs well as the Doctor.
"Yes, but we keep their secret. No,
90 and Dance" and the Doctor too
King Lear off for a cup of coffee.
1t was sad, weird sight altogethe,
and, as Grayton watched it, it remind
ed him of kaulbach's "Dance q
Death" and he felt oddly morbid rs h
thought of his own lonely life. He ha
once loved aud given his heart to
woman whom he had both idealized an
idolizel; lie had youth, brains, All
with her lie felt he could conquer th
world. 1t was an old story; she tnrne
out to be as loyeless rs she was Lowell,
and SO he took to the tigers. He ha
got over ii all now, but he shuddere
as he remembered the fret Of ii all, an
thought how near madness he had bee
driven when he heard of her ultimat
fate and where her life had drifted I,
So there where Ophelias here! Mon
like Audreys, he thought, as l.
watched some rather uncouth gambo