Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-03-13
Floating Fun.

While we fellows are scratching to
earn our living the cremationists are
taking measures to urn their dead
No, my son, the great talker is not
necessarily a mathematician simply
because ne understands how to aulti-
ply words.
a lodging house bed in New York
can be obtained for 5 cents, and still
some New Workers persist in staying
up all night.
It is terrible trying, remarked the
woman with the bass voice. and /
can't stand it another day. Whenever
go to the speaking tube to ask a
question, | am invariably answered
yes, sir, or no sir. "
"There is one point for which l
! especially admire Washington, said
Mrs. Mourner, who had Just buried
I her third husband "He married a
widow, thus setting all Americans a
noble example.
No use talking the living skeleton
is a failure in matrimonial sense.
How long did our skeleton and his
wife live togetherl How long did
Damala enjoy his sweets of matri-
monial bliss with Sarah2
The following question is to be
wrestled with by country debating
society at its next session; II the Nor
mon has eight wives and buries one
of them, how much Of a widower
/ does he become, if anyl
Rosa Bonheur is 81 years old and
wears trousers. These facts are
thought to be deserving OF the digsity
Of a newspaper paragraph. Gumber-
son doesn't see whV He says that
his wife qualified Tor 81 about FIVE
years ago, and has been wearing the
trousers ever since the golden glamor
of the honeymoon faded into the
dull, leaden gloom of solid matri-
mony.
He was rather solid and seedy-look-
ling, his nose resembled a crimson
sunset, and when he entered a store
and accosted the head of the firm
with: Say, boss, I'm raising fund
10 bury my mother-in.l law; can you
give mo a lift3' he was Immediately
accommodated. He was given a
lift" that almost loosened the roo Is
of his hair.
A couple of Vassar girls were found
by professor fencing with broom.
sticks in a gymnasium. He reminded
the young girls that such an accom-
plishment would not aid them in
securing husbands. ut will help
us keep them in" replied one of the
girls.
In one of our Indian languages the
word woman" is rendered 'Kewano-
iawiaw,n with marked and earnest
emphasis ON the last two syllables.
Even the savage understand the vile
and wicked language.
An observant negro says "De man
who takes up de moas sidewalk am
not always de pussun ob de most con
sequence. A 15-cent drunkard wants
mo roam in dis world dan de judge
OBJ de supreme court.
A youth Of limited means, who had
just married, sent his wife's rich faith.
en- a beautiful copy of Tom Hood
poem, What Can an Old Man DO
But Diel" The gratfed father in-law
at once took away his daughter, club
bed his son-n law, and having broken
his leg ON the iron steps of the youth
full schemer, sued him for 500, 600.
And now, the young nan has con
cluded that an old mans sphere of &C
ton is not so limited as Tom Hood
supposed.
at druggists door in Seville, APP
peared the sign: Spirits of all kinds
sold here 4 joker, passing by,
thought it funny TO 60 in and ask the
druggist for "all you have on hand Of
the malignant spirit The druggist,
without an instant's hesitation, turn
ed to an assistant and gave the order,
in an imperative tone joaquin
Run up to the second floor and bring
down my mother in.law Here is some
body to buy her"