davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
HOW IT SOUNDED.

Old Josh Morgan ven, ,o concert the other night. having heard people rave over Wagner's music. He sa, through. out the entertainment without exhibiting any sign of emo,ion,- for which he de- serves credit, and when the curtain wen, down he seemed surprised. When he came away some one asked him how he liked the concert.
 IL didn't seem to come off," he Ie. piled. T, took 'em % long io tune up that they didn't have tune to give us an, music
 What you thought was tuning up was the musie.'
 Nobody told me. and of oourse didn't know. 1 always thought ,ha, had a mighty good year for music, bu, fl the huuAh they had there tonight was music then my year has been dee ewing me fol many a day"
 How a;a the music sound, Uncls Josh! z"
 Well, there's only one way that oar Illustrate the noise. I, sounded like h CT beatin' tan bark
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
THE BOY WITH HTHE LONG COAT

The half-elad boy that wears irook- coat. cast oil by some larger member oi the family or perhaps by A stranger, is a serio-com,e spectacle. The tails ot the garment almost sweep the ground. the ragged pockets dangle aga'ns, his ankles, and the padded shoulders make the little fellow appear to be almos, twice h,s actual siae. The long sleeves are rolled back, and on the bulge. the little fellow wipes his nose. leaving glare on the sleeves ragged Inning.
 "Why don't your mother eu, down that coa, to fl, you 7" some one asks.
 "'Caase amt got any mother he replies. My mothers dead.'
 His playma,es soou. h.m and call hun old man. Merchants tell him to move on away from their doors. Simpering girls g,ggle at h.m as they pass. Ills i,te IS lowly and he is acquainted with sorrow. Finally some one lends him a helping hand, and in afer yean when people point to an institution of learning and ask the name oi the founder. some old man. after giving the iilustfious name, says "l knew him when, as a boy. he used to wear a long ragged coat"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
THE WALLER DOG.

You internal hound !" exclaimed A man, s,orrning al a negro. " why did you let that dog biee me !'
 '' Dog bate yer, gennermsn
 "Of coarse he did''
 "DA, yaller dog, gennerman y'
 "Yes"
 Wal, doan pay no 'ten,ion ter him. gennerman. case dat dog ain't got good sense aohow."
 bai he bit me. tell you"
 De yxlief dog bite yer I DoAn doubt il. case dst's ies' like de iool." and as the white man moved on, the colorcd gen. ,lesnsn added Thinks I dossat know him, but does He's de man whus growied 'sase de black folks kep' him er- wake wid der singin' an prayin' 'Cose de dog woul' bite him"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
ACCIDENT.

"The world owes its greatest achieve menis to acoidesss," remarked Coloasi S~ifiie to his wife as they sat on the back gallery enjoying cool breere. Nearly all great discoveries were purely s1ci- dental. and Mrs Swiffle," added the col opel, ii was by mere ehanoe that ws met"
 4Yes," the lady replied if vas an se- cident that caused our ma rriagc-.
 The colonel didn't very much like this reply, and with elevated eyebrows re- joined:
 @Aeeidsntf Why, my dear, hardly understand you. What do you mean !"
 @Oh, mean that If Tom Benson had not accidentally shot himself, l would never have married you. Yea would like for me to think that you married me by accident, but don't want to think that it vas accident shs, caused me so many you. Wish you'd draw backst ef frssA vater."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
WHAT HE Is.

"Whai is humoriss /" asked boy oI his teacher.
 "A humorist, my son, is not the pun sser, as you may have been led to sup pose He is man of light and, may. hap eccentric, iesters, vho in opposition to the philosophers of gloom, does no, think that the supreme duty of the hu- man family is to nope around as though <. las. friend had been buried. He be- iseves in the philosophy of light instead of shadows, and the smile which he creates is far better than the sigh of the man vho has been taught to believe that life s not worth living.n
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
AN KQuiNK PHYSICIAN.

Ellen" sad a father. calling hts daughter into the hbrary, whats thai fellows name 2" meaning a young man who had just taken leave ot the far girl.
 Mir. Skiddrow." Dld you tell him not to come again S'
 My gracious. paw. how could f'
 Why. easy enough. 1 should ihink.s
 'i couldn't. because love him"
 !" Love him!" and the old man ehucklsd. !" Love h,m," and, eiasping h,s hands back oi his head. he laughed until the bIush.ng g,rl sa, down and hdg eted with a tidy.
 D,dnt you love nav ts she asked, looking up with melting eyes.
 "oh. had many reasons for rcspcct- ing her Good business wo,nAni remark. ably hne head"
 !" D,dnt she love you Y
 :" We'll. no. She was fond oi boiled cabbage and could make plate U: beans look mighty uncomfortable. hut aside from sue h outbutsts oi devotion, l never knew her affections to take any very high flights"
 "ra~. Mt. Skiddro~ has asked me to become his liuie wife"
 "But you can't. you know. You weigh about two hundred pounds. You aIe fat"
 "i'icase don't call me fat. Neat to being deprived of the eompanlonship of the man love. most dislike to he called fat"
 So you des,se ,o mary the snooleT f'
 "yes"
 Hss he got any money f' No.' he said he could live on love. Then, presume that he beioag. to a shoa-lived race. Live and love. Look here. when nan says that he cannot live w,thou, you. put him down as liar, bu, when he says he can live on love, in- scribe him as a tool. 1 would rather that you marry liar than a fool, for fool ls both fool and a lisr. while a liar may be a man of sense. What ts Mir. Poppin- lay's busincss f''
 He calls himself an equine physician. I've no dodb, he has good practice"
 "Uh. huh, a horse doctor
 Horse doctor :" she exclaimed.
 Certainly, A hsrse doctor Now, II there be poetic sight in this world, it is A horse doctor living on iove''
 "l won't marry the iooI.'
 "oh. yes, you must marry him, fos in after years when he Is aroused at night ,o visit the nail-side of a sick horse. you can si, by the ire and cat pickles till he returns. Don't understand me to have anything sga,ns, horse doctor. bu, my dear child. the equine physician must go."
 "i will insult him fl he ever comes to this house again"
 No, don't insult him. 1 want him zs a member of this family. Our old gray mule has been in bad health for some tune, and Ii is well ,o have a skilled phy- sieian in the house. There, don't get mad. Hand me thz, bottle and tum- bier. Thank you. Now you may go," and when the disappointed young iady had gone, the old man unused "itls well that have gotten rid of that fellow. owe him for removing wsr and mock ing out blind tooth"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

the strains of an organ were heard.
 Everybody was shocked. The organ played a waltz. The cause was soon dis covered. An Italian, thinking that the affair was a picnic. had come with hand organ and monkey. Mir. Mulkit,le seized
 him by the collar. The monkey seised Mir. Mulkit,le by the leg. Mulki,tle cried with loud voice. The Italian vas driven away. and then, without further interruption, the camp-meeting settled down to business and became success.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
AN ABUSIVE LAWYER.

Old Absalom had a suit before a Jus- tioe court, and the opposing lawyer be- came so abusive that the old man arose and said
 Look heah, jedge, is yer gwinetet sci dar looking unconsarned an let dat white man 'buse me dat way? amt dun him no harm"
 "Mr. Carter" said the judge, "please abstain from personalities.
 With pleasure, your honor. was only sho~ing the standing of this man Absalom, which. you all know, is none of the best. shall not refer 10 the fact that he was suspected of having taken hog which did not belong 10 him, neither will l dwell on the report that he stole SIX dollars from a ferryman."
 Judge" exclaimed old Absalom. arising and striking table with his fist, :" da, ar white dat white man is CT liar
 Hold on." replied the judge "You mus, no, make use of such language in court"
 "Whu,'s gwine do den! Let dat man 'buse me! I'se got ter hab some sorter way CT 'fendin' myself Look heah, white man, sitting down, "I'se gwineter pu, my feet on dis heah table, an when l shakes one foot, dat means yer i. CT liar an when shakes bof. da, means ycr's daim liar, sah. Now go erhead."
 The judge again reprimanded the old man. and the lawyer continued
 Ear be it from me, gentlemen of the jury, to throw one speck of dirt on the bright sheen of a mans name. I, is my exalted respect for the good name that causes me to meroilessly attack the bad. My ellen, is above reproach. This man, Absalom but dislike to dwell on the fact that he is dishonest"
 old Absalom shook one foot
 During my long experience as law yer, have met few men more dishonest than this person, for, gentlemen of the JuB, If he wore the clothes Of justice they would be encircled with stripes"
 old Absalom shook both feet SO wig orously that his chair tilted over and he fell 10 the floor, striking the back of his head against the edge of an iron spi,,oon.
 Daim sich a capes," he exclaimed Now, Jedge, wanter say righ, heah dat I'se gwine ter hold da, man 'spon- sible fur all dis. I'se gwine ter whup him till yer could hang CT saddle blan ke, on de knots whatll rise on his head"
 The case proceeded and the lawyer continued his abuse. When court ad- journed, old Absalom approached the lawyer and said:
 Now, l'se wid yer. sah, case yer ain, got no jedge ter perteck yer. Pare yersef fur a kiilin'.r
 Look here, old man," the lawyer re- piled, hope you have taken no ex- captions at wha, said, for you should know ii is law io abuse the oPTosiis side. Come on, and let's take drink
 The old man looked at the lawyer for a moment and said
 !" i'se wid yer on de drinkin' question fur yer hAb bercorne de perlitis' genner- man eber seed. De man whut was on my side aiht said drink yit. Come on, Ise half CT mind ter hab dat case tried ober agin."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

was not looking. she came up behind me and poured a trying pan of hot gIease down my neck, am a very quiet man i, but when anybody pouts a sk;!!e, oi hot grease down my meek. shy can't retain that oomposure which should character ise A true American ciusen. Well. I'm glad there's no ill-w,ll between us Good day"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
WOULD COVER THE CASE.

My son." said an old man. "alvays be polite"
 "To everybody" ?"
 @Yes, to everybody. Be polite to those you owe and those you desire te owe By observing this rule you will pretty well cover the case"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

Turtle eggs should be sof. boiled, bat snake eggs, which are very nearly the same, should be scrambled and then thrown away.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

A congressman declares that the re- mains of southern politicians make the best levies- They keep out the water.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

A magazine writer heads an article, "How to Smoke Cigar" We should think that the best way would be to light one end
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

Have you anything for me to do es- pecially 2" asks the subordinate editor of the chief. "No, believe not. Wait a minute. You may critioise Charles Reade.n
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

The mad dog craze has again come. Dogs, like men, are bad citizens when out of humor
 Mir Talmage lectures Americans on their injurious rapidity. Mir. Talmage talks like fast Ean.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

The man who wears one suspender, fastened so his copperas "britches with a wooden peg, has again announced him. self as candidate for the legislature. He will be elected.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24
LiMNINGS.

LIMNINGS.
 The mad dog craze has again come. Dogs, like men, are bad citizens when out of humor.
 Mir. Talmage lectures Americans on their injurious rapidity. Mir. Talmage talks like fast man.
 A congressman declares that the re- mains of southern politicians make the best levies. They keep out the water.
 A magazine writer heads an article, "How to Smoke Cigar" We should think that the best way would be to light one end.
 Have you anything for me to do es- pecially p asks the subordinate editor of the chief "No, believe not. Wait a minute. You may criticise Charles Reade."
 The man who wears one suspender, fastened so his copperas "britches with a wooden peg, has again announced him. self as candidate for the legislature He will be elected.
 The sprout Of the cotton seed is grow ing, unconscious of the nan who has lost a hundred thousand dollars on "futures." Thus 1t is that nature takes no note of mans judgment.
 
 Decoration day is coming. The living are preparing for parade and flowers :; the dead, in their silent glory, sleep un- conscious of how much will you charge US, Mir. Jones, for a cart load of roses !"
 Matthew Arnold says that had he been more of fool his lectures in this cour- try would have yielded him more money. Yes, and had the public been less fool, his lectures would no, have yielded him so much
 The continued rains, it is thought, will yet bring about an overflow and enable the bottom people to lie in the shade and eat government ra,ions. The col ored gentleman has become so accus- toned to expecting congressional aid that now, whenever a cloud comes up, he opens his mouth like a young mocking- eifd
 "Why is it," asked young man, that the articles which appear in magazines are not copied so extensively as those which appear in the newspapers!" "Tte question is easily answered" remarked close observer. "The magazine writers spend months over their articles before allowing them to be published, while the newspaper writer must allow his to be published before he has time to mark out the point
 Charles Reaae hoped for a resurrec- ton, not of natrre, but of the great God who made him of nothing. If the mind and soul have relationship, the great novelist will be resunected. The creed which he expressed is as simple as the prayer of child. In the folds of natures skirts of simplicity, the learned and the uniearned are alike gathered. The great source to which all minds turn. kro<s not the flesh, but the inner life Reade worshipped that great source, and if all good teachings be not false, the cup of his soul will be filled to the brim-
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

The sprout of the cotton seed is grow ing, unconscious of the nan who has lost a hundred thousand dollars on "futures." Thus 1t is that nature takes no note of mans judgment.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

Decoration dayi is coming. The living are preparing for parade and flowers the dead, in their silent glory, sleep un- conscious of how much will you charge us, Mir. Jones, for a cart load of roses" !"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-05-24

Matthew Arnold says tha, had he been more of fool his lectures in this cour- try would have yielded him more money. Yes, and had the public been less fool, his lectures would not have yielded him so much.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-26
THE GRAND HOTEL
The Committees to Meet Tonight
Where the Matter stands

The Committees to Meet Tonight
where the Matter Stands.
The several committees intrusted with
the development Of the movement set on
foot TO erect a new hotel in this city. will
meet tonight in Metropolitan Hall to
take into consideration the present state
Ofafairs.
Their is scarcely doubt but that the
committees were carefully made up by
the Chairman Of The meeting to whom
that duty was assigned. Every man was
put in his proper place, at least 50 1t
appeared to those who examined the long
list containing the names Of members Of
the several committees. But it seems
that with all this study and preparation
the committees virtually died, or,
rather. We're still-bOrn. 1t is an
open secret that only between 100000 and
$4,000 We're subscribed, and that amount
through the efforts of one or two individ-
uals. The meeting tonight may develop
some plan by which renewed interest
can be awakened in this import
ant public enterprise. There APP
pears to he a general desire TO have new
hotel. but it cannot be done unless our
citizens contribute the greater part Of
the amount necessary to advance the en-
f ri
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-26
Eraal Salro.


CHATHAM SHkREEE'S SALE.
Under aud by virtue Of q mortgage 9. "a.
| issued out of Chatham Superior 0urt, y
avor Of JOHN c. ROWLAND vs.. STEELE
N. WHITE. a Administrator Of WILLIAM
r. PRITCHARD. JR., have levied upon inc
following described property Of the deiehu-
ant: ,..-o~
AN that portion of two o. certain lots OF
parcels OF land situate and lying in SAID ,iase
and county. and in the city Of savannah
owned by William r. Pritchard. the JuuiO- ;
IN his lifetime, on the southeast corner ~,
Whitaker and st. Julian streets occupied II
ID. b. Lester as a grocery store anu jon. II -;
Ruwe as a confectionery store al the uale "a
the mortgage. the portion sooWned DelH- IN ~.
fifth l-5) of an undivided one-tHlI" 7 81. n
terest in the store occupied al that lllllS oss,i
b. Lester. and One-ffth do OF an unu4e I'M.
Ope-half ~ interest in the store lneh 80
MED BIZ John n. Ruwe. The SAID two z io'7 , =
land together forming the western Aa .-aa,7---
part Of lot Letter Z Derby Nara' 70 ,.,rs
nah Aforesaid. conveyed ID certain ln,''' = p
II mortgage made by the said W llilA4 - -
Pritchard. the junior, and bearing o"s0
ruary p. 1879. ,-., ,7oscribed
And / will offer the said above ass1l ~, IL
,ronertv for sale at public outcry. beioIe ~
Fo4irf House door of Chatham county. ~. ItI -,
The LEGAL hours of sale. on the " y ~
nay OF MARCH. it being the mr. LID I'D
~ said month Of March, 1881, TO SATISFY 9''N
mortgage Fl. IA. .- e.. .,t1ss.
'''9 JOHN T. RONAN,
sheriff C. Co. Ga.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-26
THE WEATHER.
Indications for the Present Week Argued
from the Planets.

Indications for the Present Week Argued
from the Planets.
The following weather representations
are made by a local prophet:
sunday there were three aspects, all
lunar: At 1921 [midnight), the opposition
of Mars; at 3:55 p. m, the conjunction OF
Mercury. and at GLIB p. m, the sextile of
Venus. The day was fair and pleasant.
Yesterdays only confguration was a
quintile aspect between the sun and Nep-
tune at 11:40 a. m.
Tuesday. at 6 80 a. m, the moon will be
in quadrature with Saturn, and at ~ p.
IN. in conjunction with the sun new
noon. Likely, according to the prognos-
tication. to be somewhat cloudy morning,
clearing and fine towards noon.
Wednesday. Mars and Saturn are in
sextile at 10:12 a. m, and the moon is on
the equator at $40 P. m. This Will likely
be a fine day.
Thursday, at 11:43 a. m. the sun and
Mars are in biquintile. The moon will be
in trine with Mars at 500 a. m, and in
sextile with Saturn at 1888 a. m. a con-
tinuatiOn of the previous days nne
weather may be looked for.
Friday. Mercury is in seXtile with
Venus at 5 AZ a. m, and IN quadrature
with Neptune at p. IN. Venus ana Nep-
tune are in semi-sextiIe aspects at 6:2O p.
m. The lunar aspects are: The sextlle
of Mercury at 9:42 a. M. and the conjunc-
ton of Venus at 9 :53 a. m. This is likely
to be a cloudy day, with some downfall.
Saturday, at 12:24 midnight), the sun
and Venus are in parallel decllnatlon
at ~ p. m, Venus and Saturn are IN
semi-quadrate, and at 9:25 a. m. the moon
and Mars are in square. This Will prop
ably be a disagreeable rainy day.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-26
NEW ROUTE TO FLORIDA.
The Demand of Tourist Travel for
Fast Steamer Line - The Proposes

The Demand of Tourist Travel for a
Fast Steamer Line - The Proposed
Route.
About a month ago reference was maze
in the MORNING News to an effort that
was being made by parties interested IN
the tourist business to inaugurate ne"
and quick route by steamers to Florlda
via Montgomery, the terminus OF the CITY
and Suburban Railway. The plan Is 70
have a fast steamer leaving that point
every day, landing passengers at Fernan-
dina. from which place they Will 60 oy
rail to Jacksonville. 1t is said that pas
sanoers nv this route can breakfast in Sa-
vannah and take supper in Jacksonville,
and vice versa. No definite arrangement
has VT been made. but Mr.. Gustaye
T.eve. of the firm Of Leve q AL
den. is now at the North for the
purpose of procuring a steamer suitable
for the line. The travel to Florida Is IN
creasing every year, and, with good
boat and quick transit, the inland route
would doubtless command far portion
Of the patronage of travellers. The move
ment appears to be in opposition TO the
WaycrOss rail route and in the interest OF
what is known as the 1ulee system,
Whether it is to be only temporary hghI
between rival lines or permanent route
for the establishment Of a regular busl-
ness is vet to be seen. The City and ou-
burban Railway of this city Is only inter
ested so far as to transfer passengers
from Savannah to Montgomery.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-26
Clothing.
Success ! Success ! Success !!

OUR ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE PUBLIC
THAT WE WERE MAKING GREAT REDUCs
TONS AND THAT OUR FALL GOODS MUST
GO, HAS BEEN A SUCCESS. WE ARE NOW
ABLE TO STATE TO OUR MANY FRIENDS
THAT OUR STOCK HAS BEEN GREATLY
REDUCED IL CONSEQUENCE OF OUR RE-
DUCTION IN PRICES, BUT WE HAVE A
FEW LEFT, AND THEY MUST GO ALSO, AS
WE WANT AND ARE NOW ABLE TO SAY
WE WILL PRESENT THE PUBLIC WITH AN
ENTIRE NEW, FRESH STOCK OF GOODS
NEXT FALL. WE ARE THE ONLY STORE
THAT DOES NOT CARRY OVER AN M
MENsE STOCK OF GOODS, AND WE con-
GRATULATE THE PUBLIC AS WELL AS
OURSELVES ON THIS FACT. OUR SPRING
STOCK Is NOW COMMENCING TO BE
SHIPPED TO Us, AND CONSEQUENTLY
WILL BE IN THE SHAPE TO SHOW THEM
THE LAST OF THIS MONTH. DON'T FOR
GET OUR STORE Is THE PLACE TO GET
YOUR CLOTHING, HATS AND FURNISHING
GOODS, THE ''KING OF SHIRTS" ETC.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-26
ADJUSTMENTS.

Baker and FarrOn in g a OoverhI n
Honse,,-Their New PLAY, "The Edi-
tors Tonight.
Baker and FarrOn played TO a goou
audience last night in their new play, "A
Government House. The play is a far
oical comedy. The scene is laid In the
Island Of Trinidad, the Governor OF
which is expecting, when the play opens,
the arrival OF his intended bride. As
ruse. for his own purposes, ne retires into
the country for a few days, deputing
-Krakwitz." his Dutch butler, 70 act In
his stead, and invests him with ful
authority and his uniform. The ieuten-
ant of the snip which brings the Cover
nOr's intended TO the island has iallen 10
love with her. and when he hears OF the
object of her visit makes a compact win
..CorOOral Mulcaney." under when the
latter imDers0nates the young lazy anu
successfully deceiveS the newly
dadged Governor. and some funny
love uaSsages- between them loHoM'
The real lady arriving almost immediately
is repudiated By hrak,' VINO aItanSeu
III have a pars0n on hand that evening 70
marry Miss Hulbeck" & the Governors
intended or. in reality, Corporal Null
cabav : Is himself. thus doing the Gov
ernoT ont Of his bride. The young
Lieutenant. however. takes advantage Of
The presence Of the minister, who Is come
10 marry some one. and has the ceremony
performed between himself and the real
Miss Hulbeck" before "krak'' knows
what has happened. The Governor then
returns. the duplicity Of "hrak'
IS exposed and also that OF
the Lieutenant. "Krak'' is then
claimed in pr0Dra persona by Rose" a
waiting maid. and the corporal IS restored
to his "Mollia." a hOusemaid. Ihere Is a
verv fanny duel scene between 'Krak"
and a fierce old sea captain, and a num-
Der Of new and original songs. medleys
and cLaruses introduced. Julius" a
black servant, causes no end OF tun.
There are also negroes, a guard OF honor,
and brass band introduced in the play
Tonight the company will produce for
the nrst time The Editors" play writ
ten to rival the Bunch Of Keys and
which. from the popularity Of the actors
producing il. NAV be considered only the