Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1884-06-27

COZ, uo saiu SoOtulLKly. Wuat Has Goue
wrong Are there to be no calls this
year? Does the stern papa legislate that
the basket shall be hung on the outer wall
and no beau allowed to touch our cake and
wine? Out with It'll Tell me all, and,
by yonder drowsy policeman on the corner,
swear to right your wrongs"
''Oh Charley" said his cousin, sit is
all abont Jack. You know his irregular
habits-that's what you men call it, be-
lieve. 1 must make him stop drinking.
Charley, dear, you are a man; do give me
some advice"
Charley grew grave in moment. "YOu
are right. Alice" he said. 1--WE must put
our heads together to save Jack Quimby.
And il for your sake alone, dear girl,
shall sit awake all night thinking how it
be done. Give me twelve hours to concoct
some scheme that shall bring Jack out OF
the mire and make his frequent Swear
offs of some permanent value. Now, don't
fret any more. Finish that pretty thing
and send it to him. I must away to seek
counsel. Farewell, and joy be with you"
And he rushed away in time to spring on
dummy at the risk of death or mutila-
tion.
! ''If it can be done. Charley will do it, !"
said A lice, cheerfully. "Oh, Jack. Jack
! if you could but understand how much
trouble you are giving US !"
Jack Quimby saw the old year out and
the new year in according to the usual
fashion of such ceremonies. And he
awoke with the same old headache, only
intensified by deeper and more varied po-
tations. While he was celebrating
whether it was worth while getting up at
all or not. a knock came at his door, imme-
diately followed by couple of young fell
lows faultlessly dressed in the regular
visiting costumes.
"Come. come, Jack You're nice fell
low for calling chum. Over 80 visits to
make to-day; and you not up yet," and
they dragged the unfortunate roysterer
from his bed and watched his hurried eff
forts at dressing with uproarious mirth.
"Deuce take you both," said Jack,
! didn't you bring an eye-opener to help
fellow out ?" The eye-opener was pro-
| daced, in the shape of a pocket-fask. and
under its cheerful influence Mr.. Quimby
was sooa ready for the road. We shall not
follow him to the various houses he favor
ed with his presence. He was conscien-
tious about drinking the health of his
! fair hostesses, individually and collective
ly. and it was quite late in the evening
before the Quimby carriage halted before
Judge Benton's door. Alice had been
anxiously expecting him all day, but
when a gush of cloves preceded his en-
trance her heart sank within her. Jack
felt the Importance of presenting sober
appearance. and his bow was cold, almost
stern, and full of the most preternatural
gravity.
81 wish you, Miss Benton, the compli-
ments of the season. he said, in slow and
deliberate accents. There was not soil
tary ''r' in this sentence. for Mr.. Quimby
knew from past experience the dangers
sounding that consonant at this stage
of the proceedings. Judge, am delight
ed to see you looking SO WE'LL" and this
time the bow was directed to stiff, high
backed chair, an heirloom of the Benton
family.
''Sit down, Jack. and don't be silly"
whispered Alice. after greeting his
friends. sob! you wicked boy! what's
the matter with your eyes? And your
necktie has slipped up under your ear.
How your gloves are stained with claret!"
"vintage of AZ, Miss Benton" said
Mr.. Quimby. with pronounced hiccough.
And he quaffed off the cold. black wine
-"but excuse me, am mistaken In sup
posing that you asked me for song ?"
NOW; do be quiet, Jack, and don't
sing" and she pushed an easy-chair to-
ward her demoralized visitor, who sank
into it with deep groan, and declared in
a sepulchral voice that it her father, the
judge, would step this way he should like
to make his will, as he felt the chill Of the
tomb stealing over him, and dwelt in the
shadow of the dark angels wings. Half
an hour later Mr.. Quimby was supported
to his carriage, and Alice registered a
solemn vow that unless her cousin's plan
was conclusively and permanently effec-
tive she would never be Mrs. Quimby. if
she had to live and die an old maid.
On the evening of MIR. Quimby's calls
half dozen young fellows sat together in
enc of the private rooms of well-knOwn
restaurant. Alice Benton's cousin was
chairman.
''Boys," he said, 1--WE must all of US
make raid upon Quimby tomorrow.
You, Jack, will be the deeply insulted
husband, and you. Tom. the honest viii
culturist whose money Quimby has Dor
rowed and squandered. Dick want you
to play the undertaken from whom the
coffin was engaged, and Bill, you can ap-
pear as the man assaulted by Quimby-
the angry man, who was determined to
appeal to the laws of his country for re-
dress in the shape at heavy damages. The |
Office group will now Iehearse."
The conspirators agreed, and Charley
Elmore gave them their parts, and insist
ed upon full dress rehearsal before the |
close of the session. The boys were all of !
them keenly alive to the situation, and |
besides their ambition to carry out the |
joke felt that it was really serious mat
ter. as tending to lead to Jack Quimby's |
permanent swearing off.
sit is his last chance" said EImore. 81
tell you, boys, il we don't cure him this
time saltpetre won t save him. and we will
never dance at Alice Benton's wedding,
so far as Jack Quimby is concerned -
And the boys all swore that they would