Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-03-24

nave Is IL SOOu DdChUOuC VI Ills ONHs
If an idea strikes you forcibly rub arni-
ca on the bruised part, and you may nev-
er be affected in like manner again.
The question is again repeated, "What
is home without mother?" 1t is place
without baby, quiet, restful resort.
A girl has been born out west with
three tongues. If she does not die
young some poor man will commit sui
eide.
A little fellow, three years old, who
had never eaten frosted cake, asked at
the table for ''that cake with plastering
on it."
''Patrick, were you u minor when you
landed in American" asked the natural
ization officer. mo, your honor; was
brick layer.
When "Ouida" asked Charles Reade to
suggest a name for her dog, he said,
''Tonic; for it is sure to be a mixture of
bark, steal and whine"
This is to be a presidential and leap
year, and US fellows who are neither
presidents or women will have to remain
seated until invited to dance.
"Don't forget the poor" urges coun-
try editor. 1t isn't very often that an
editor puts in puff for himself, but oc
casionally he is driven to it by necessity.
A man who has happened to have a
good deal of experience says: "Stand
anywhere but four feet to the left of Il
woman when she hurls an old bottle at
a hen."
A Georgia man climbed three flights of
stairs to whip an editor, and came down
on the lightning-rod with his clothes half
torn from his body. He always SUBJ
scribes for the paper in advance now.
1t is said that a minister in Il country
kirk in Scotland stopped in the course of
somewhat deaf: care ye hearing, John p
"Oh! ave." was the response: 81 am
hearing, but to vera little purpose!'
Little Mary was reproving her younger
brother for ''fibbing. Snow, Russell,
she said, drawing down her face and
frowning threateningly on the tiny cul-
prit, ''Dust you remember never, never
to tell another of your wrong -side-out
stories to me.''
''Yes," said the doctor, ''you are Ger.
tainly threatened with scarlet fever.
ssWhat shall l do, what shall 1 do?" she
moaned in great distress. "Oh, doctor
couldn't you throw it into some Other
kind of fever? Scarlet is so trying to
my complexion"
A judge having fallen asleep during ;
trial, Lawyer X. suddenly ceased plead
ing, and exclaimed. 81 will wait until hi:
honor wakes before finishing" ''But,
answered the opposing counsel, ''perhap'
his honor will wait until you have finish
ed before waking"
''Do you know" said Fort Lincoll
man to the lady who was driving Will
out riding, ''that in the east the othe
day two young people were out just a
we are and the sleigh upset, and tha
little accident was the cause of a Wed
ding within a week" Ten minutes late
they were fioundering in the snow, bu
the girl says it was an accident.
Susan Smith stands sorrowfully solus
she sees splendid spruces surroundin
shady spots; she sees summer sun shil
ing; she smells sweet savors; swet
songsters singing sweet strains serenad
Susan. Still she sighs. Sunsets so
sadly signing. Suddenly she starte,
She saw some stranger strolling silent
southwark. ''Stop!" she shouted. ''Sto
stranger. Susan Smith says so.'' Stat
ly she stood, sternly she shouted ''Stop
Samuel Slocum, successful Statesman
smooth speaker, started, saw Susa
seemed surprised. said sollloquizins
''Strange; seemingly scarce sixteen,
sweet, so simple, still SO strangely susI
cionsl She seems strangely sad. S;
something sweeter, Susan" She sto
ped, some silent struggle, said, 'sSure
some strangers see sights. Shall Sus;
Smith shun such? scarcely" So, stro
ing silently Straightforward, she sal
ssSusan Smith scorns suspicious scand;
= she seeks sympathy.,> Seeks she success
fully Still shone silvery streams slar
= ingly southwark. Samuel Slocum S
sweetly smiling; Susan Smith seat
u suspiciously somewhere. Sunsets
rene splendor suggested supper. 81
she sat. She sought sympathy succe
fully; supper seemed superfuous Sol
- six Sundays succeeding she signed sol
sketches Susan Smith Slocum
ali Did She Die?-sNo; she fingered and sufe
along, pining away all the time for years, the 1
e g tors doing her no good: and at last was cured
IA this Hop Bitters the papers say much abb
Ter indeed indeed how thankful we should be
4