The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-01-04
A STORY OF ARTElIUS WARD
RELATED BY HOWARD PAUL.

| remember the late Albert Smith. who
was one of the staff of the London
P,mca, once telling group of men, who
were standing with aim at the Garrick
club, that before he gave his first enter
tainment. The Overland Mail. in London.
and rsking the fiat of METROPOLITAN au.
dicncr, h" determined Il trial-trip in the
provinces to note the effect of his ouips
upon less cultivated and cxigcnt pub
lie. He settled upon the market town in
Surrey, and his bold, bright announce
mcntS, full of promise and pictorialv
embcllishcd, populated the reserved seats
and respectfully filled the hail Thus far
all was well. He began his lc"tu~e, and
kept his yigilant eye on respc 't"i de old
gentleman, who was accompanied by
three Young ladies, all of whom sat near
the platform.
The lecturer was received in cold and
solemn silence; and, without unneccs-
sary preliminaricS, he at once plunged
easily into his subject, rafting it off as
only Albert Smith in his fresh, fluent
young days could have done. Some of
the audience now and then Uttered, one
or two got ms far as a laugh, but the
stately old country gentleman, with the
three daughters, preserved Il quiet dig
nifty and heard the entertainment from
end to end without the semblance of
smile.
The genial etfcrvescent Albert feared
that his "Ovcrland Mall was not the
registering success he fondly hoped it
would prove, and as the people were
cropping their way out of the ill-lightcd
little hall into the gloom and rain of a
winters night, he approached the old
gentleman and said; II beg your par
don, sir, but how did you like my enter
mentt | am most anxious to know YOUR
opinion
"Sir,' replied the old gentleman, but
toning up his greatcoat and drawing
himself up with an imperative air of i'm
portance, lit was very pleasant lecture,
indeed, and had it been less serious, and
treated in a different spirit l have no
doubt my family would have enjoyed it
very much. Good night, sir"
Albert was appalled,. His Jokes had all
missed fire and had been unqucstionably
misunderstood. 1t was clear that his
style Of fun was not adapted to the provin-
cial mind. 1t was obvious that he must
Londoners with his jests. He chose the
latter alternative, and for very many
years his ''show,' as he delighted to call
his presentations, was one of the fash
ionable attractions of the great metropo-
lis.
| was relating this incident one dav to
Artcmus Ward, and insisting on the
theory that what suits the town will not
always hit the mark in the country. He
protested that he was quite of my opin-
, ion-"only more so'-and then he pro
ceeded to illustrate his conviction bv this
little anecdote:
= Before | venturcd to storm the bio
cities, said he, - thought I'd take Il
modest turn in some of the towns and
villages up through New York State, and
l settled to begin at an outside place
called Goshen, great cheese and butter
depot. My agent was an adroit adver-
Using fiend. named John =. Smith, who
stuck at nothing as far as printers ink
was concerned, and was IA bit of a wag
in his way. He promised to do his level
best to make the lecture success We
put up at the principol inn and distributed
hat full of free tickets, SO as to be sure
of decent crowd in the hall. Well.
everything was in readiness; and, at the
last moment, sent for Smith, who was
20 tend door. | said, John, ! feel
shaky and nervous, and wish, after the
people get well in, you'd give me a hand
now and then to start EN- on.
:" Leave it to me, said Smith en-
couragingly. I've fixed all that
4" l followed my agents ADVICE CON
tinued Artemus, land presented myself
to the eXpcctant public. was rugged
out in a white vest and tie, and looked
as insipid as a boiled fowl. didn't get