The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-10-25
Why Men Do Not Marry.

The marriage market has become an
arena of competition as keen as anu
auction room. The natural impulses
of woman are disregarded. Mothers
advise prudent alliances, and discount
tenance, by fair means and foul, love
matches. Girls choke down their feel
ings, and aid and abet their seniors in
encouraging men who are ''catches, =
throwing OIL the restraint which made
their grandmOthers charming. But
still the cry goes up: MEN do not
marry" And yet the most inveterate
clubmen, the mocker of love in a cot
tage, was once youth not blase 70
whom the vision of a home was en-
chanting. Almost every man tries his
hand at realizing some such dream
early in life, but the attempt is usually
nipped in the bud by want of means OF
by failure to win the particular woman
on whom his heart is set. He suffers
acutely; but man is an elastic creature
in time he mingles again with the
world, not entirely proof against fem.
mime fascination, but finding it almost
impossible to set up an ideal. Matrons
with attractive daughters can not com.
plain that their girls see few men. The
tendency of the age is to level the bsi.
riers between the sexes; girls plav
tennis, they row, they rink, they skat,
they sit in the smoking room, tFy
dance, not only in the evenings, bu,in
| the afternoons.
| The natural tendency of sucblnti-
mate associations would be matritony.
4 Irrf hp So Nh.N NJ
| have had serious intentions are right
ened off before liking beget love.
There is an all-pervading fuss perva-
ding the intercourse of young people
which is altogether detimentl. The
instant pair begin to show any par
ticular liking for each Others society
the wide world around them 5 on the
gut UiUe. The mother watches fuses,
REPORTS to her cronies, and DO often
catechises the girl, wOunding Ter sense
of delicacy, and making her conscious
and constrained; or leading her to i'm
agine herself beloved, when he mans
feeling is only that Of pleasurein the So
ciety of a young woman who does her
best to make herself agreeable. Men
are usually ignorant how girs note and
weigh the attentions they receive, and
they impart the details of such homage
to sympathetic-if enviou'-feminine
ears, thus giving body to mere moth
ings, and brooding over TRIES till they
gather shape.
Meanwhile the man, having said the
pretty things his idea of politeness has
prompted, goes away, forgetting them
and their recipient, while she is expect
ing declaration as the result of a few
soft nothings, a squeeze of the hand, or
tender glances. Women are not aware,
on the other hand how sincerely he
may like and admire a girl without a
thought beyond mere good will. And
1t is precisely the better kind of men
who fall into the misfortune of raising
false hopes; the man who believes in
the simplicity andcand or of women, de-
sires their sympathy and values their
regard. A man of the world has the
instinct of seif-preservation developed
strongly enough for his protection. The
sense of safety is the real bond of many
of the alliances now so fashionable
sometimes salutary, often mischievOus
between men and married women
Kept within bounds no suspicion at
taches to them, no hopes are built upon
them. The lady receives the petjts SONS
dear to the female nature. which the
husband of long standing often neg
lects; the man receives the sympathy
grateful to the masculine creature.
Men feel this without analyzing their
sentiments, and it is common COM
plant among them nowadays that it is
impossible to become well acquainted
with girl without exciting the too live
ly anxiety of her friends. And no wise
man proposes without knowing the
character of the girl he wishes to
marry. The mothers who are so eager
for their daughters establishment are
wise, although this precipitation is not
only foolish, but.indecorous.- american
queen.