The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1884-07-31
The Value Of Coed Manners.

1HeTe Is an sIueA current among
many know as common people, that
when their richer and more cultivated
neighbors neglect them socially, it is
due entirely to the difference in wealth.
1t is reproachfully charged upon the
latter that they are s'stuck up by the
wealth, and that money alone is all
that is needed to cause every aristo-
cratic door to be thrown open to them.
1hss notion is largely mistake.
Poverty, or very limited means, may be
bar to marriage, but in itself it is not
bar to social recognition. It may be
the cause why other objections exist,
but, considered alone, it does not go as
far as many superficial people imagine.
There is another and weightier reason
that shuts them out--the inequality Of
manners and intellectual culture which
exists. Poverty may be the cause more
or less of these disabilities, but when
man has excellent manner and culti-
| waited intellect in spite of poverty, q
very great barrier TO his social advance
| ment is removed.
Good manners alone, without supe-
rior scholastic requirements, go great
| way to open to any man or woman the
doors of good society. / do not mean
by this, negative good manners alone,
but some grace in action and in speech.
OF course it must be accompanied by
what at least appears to be kindly sim
ceritg, and for this reason man who
/ would pass as a gentleman had better
/ be a gentleman, which is to be kind
| hearted, regardful of others, sympa-
/ thetic towards the unfortunate, and
| careful never to make needless trouble
for others. In addition he should be
at ease with himself in society, just as
1 If good manners were born to him, and
possess the tact to make others feel at
ease in his presence The man or wo-
man who can not master this last az
complishment will never be thoroughly
popular. Probably it can never be
mastered unless one feels cordial to-
ward his associates, and to have this
| feeling requires, in part at least, a low
ing mothers teaching and example in
early childhood. The boy or girl who
is taught to look with contempt on the
humble born will rarely appear to dis
tinguished advantage in this mixed So
ciety into which popularity seekers are
usually thrown. The counteIfeits of
kind heartedness will not always pass
current.
There are plenty of men who owe i'm
inenselY more to graceful and genial
manners than TO what is usually con-
sidered talent or scholarship. / know q
college professor, ID. D." and a
ILL. D." universally popular lin spite
of some faults known best to his very
intimate friends), who was born on a
rocky farm in region remote from So
cial or literary advantages, but who, in
spite of poverty, gained welcome ad
mission to the highest circles before as
well as after his college graduation.
The only cash help he had to go through
college and the theological seminary
was sort of legacy worth about sixty
dollars. Everything else he earned by
teaching or farm labor during vaca-
tions. He had good abilities, but not
specially shining, and he is far from
being world-famous to-day. But he
had, as though born to it, genial man
ners and social tact. He is a fair
preacher and fair scholar, but excites
no special enthusiasm until he appears
in the social circle. There he shines;
and his facility for adapting himself to
cultured or uncultured company has
done more for him than his diplomas.
] have seen him, when a young man,
4'draw ont" and interest an awkward,
illiterate and unsoeial country girl with
as much apparent ease as if she had
been duchess anxious for his smiles,
AS pastor he was always very popu-
lar, but chiefly because he made every
body feel at ease, and his calls were
/, like sunshine.
] I know an editor who was born Ii
humble life, but to-day occupying high
position, who owes his success far more
: TO genial manners than to extraordinary
ability. 1t is the same in other pro
/ fessiens. The physician, who, withou
suspicion of hypocrisy, has kindly anc
: captivating manners, is quite as likely
to be successful as the most talented
, curmudgeon ever was. His manner,
are as healing as his skill, and ever
more welcome.
Now the opportunity to~master suci
manners is open to poor as well a
. rich. Mothers should remember this
I and aim to give this accomplishment a
: legacy of good to their children
: Develop first all the child's goodness o
heart, and then polish up all his socia
gifts to the utmost. Never waste tim
or words about the pride or 'stuck up
: qualities of your rich neighbors or thei
! children, but make ladies and gentle
l men of your own children, and it vii
5 be worth more to them than fortune
Personal grace and dignity are by III
t means incompatible with working
| mans rough exterior. The little &C
: complishment of gracefully lifting
damaged hat to a lady, is worth goot
$ deal at times; and who has not beel
' pleasantly impressed by the correc
English of some one workingmal
. among group of his fellows in an
. swering q strangers question: w
. instinctively mark that man as on
7 with qualifications above bis associates
If parents in humble life would tr
: to make their children appreciate til
, immense value of good address, tn
! latter would have their self-respec
!. greatly increased and their ambition
! fired to become adopts in real socia
I graces. Such an ambition would he'll