Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-04-05
Saturday SMILES.

When man wants to affect eccentricity he
goes fishing. and on returning admits that he
caught nOthin~.-EOstOn Post.
why" asked rrof. Miller lis a good name
OF more value than riches:" And the smart bad
boy at the foot of the class said he reckoned it
was because it was much rarer. He was
marked ten burlington Ha,rheye.
Lady visitor 'Oh, that's your Doctor is 1t?
What sort of a doctor is he:" Lady resident:
''oh, well. don't know much about his ability:
but he's got a very coed bedside manner
Punch.
story with moral: Bohby-.Now YOU pre-
tend am Ti!dcn. and you offer me your cake"
TOmmy-''What for:" Bobby-.Why. pretend
it Is presidential nomination. you know"
Tonmy-"Then what will YOU do:" Bobby-'I
see any green in my IhdddeipI,ia Gait
young man who had been wooing a Yer
mont Girl for some time. and rad made her sew
eral presents. asked her one day ii she would
accept puppy. He was awful mad when size
replied that her mother had told her if he pro-
posed to her to say no.
Want of Finish: Il shall really have to part
with YOU, SfI5an. You're so shetchy in your
busting. London Punch.
YES sir" said the liquor dealer, at is a
COOc law that prevents any one from opening
Il school within i've hundred feet of liquor
saloon SchcOlhOuses are the ruin of the trade,
any way.-SOntt'rfLte Journal.
Mrs. C.: why. how can you think of asking
me to start on a journey on Friday" Mr.. c.
And why not on Friday" Mrs. C-'.You
know that Friday isan unucky day" Mr. c.
You certainly did not consider it so at one
time" Mrs. C.-"Why:" Mr.. eff you had
believed Friday an unlucky day, you would not
have married me on Friday" Mrs. Cit was
after that that l changed my mind about
Friday. C Christian at Work
Boston girl. being rebuked because she had
SAID she was Only IS. replied But didn't do
IlSht dear! lou Know, mamma has always
taught us not to exag.erate 1t is better to
under rather than over state you know"
Have you got quail on tOast:" asked a seedy-
looking party as lie entered restaurant the
other day "iiave you got an eagle on silyer?"
asked the proprietor. and the conference ad-
burned sine die.-!Sd. Francisco Post.
Professor. to class in surgery: The right ler
OF the patient. as you see, is shorter than the
lett. in consequence of which he limps Now.
what would you do in case of this kind?"
Bright student: Limp. too German Joke
Feeble urchin: Il say, ma. my head aches
I'm going to stay home from school this after
noon Solicltous maternal ancestor: We'll.
my dear, I'm sorry. Stay at home and rest II
may do You good" Three hours later feeble
urch:n PUSHES into the house with cheeks amlow.
II tell You We had 4 nifty game. Eighteen to
-. played short. Gimme suthln' t'eat'
You should not have stayed away so long
she said in icy tones as her theatcr escort
Slfu INTO HIS seat aIlPr the OF
the second act. ''0h. Er-EXcuSe me- met my
old friend Tom in the foyer and ''Was Jelr
there to0:" was her artlcss interruption os she
turned her attention to the stage.-Bostoa Post.
The Blue Ridge of West Virginia is believed
by the state Geologist TO contain slumbering
volcano. There Is one place of about an acre
in extent where the ground never freezes and
the snow always melts. Vegetation is always
a month in advance of the season. The volcano
is believed TO be below this spot.
The Chicamo police are endeavoring to sup
press smuggling matches.