The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1884-04-18
HUMOROUS.

-t'Second-story thieves have again
appeared in Brooklyn" A second
story thief, like second-story house, is
seldom without abasement. Brooklyn
Eagle.
One day when Erskine, the cele-
brated London lawyer and wit, was, as
usual, on his way to Westminster Hall,
with his large bag full of briefs, he was
accosted by a boy,who asked him if he
was dealer in old clothes. ''No," re-
piled the counselor, ''these are all new
suits.
WHAT nonsense" exclaimed Ber-
tina. ''The idea of telling Mrs. Brown
that you were only twenty-three!
''But didn't do right, dearP' replied
Edith. You know mamma has always
taught us to exaggerate. 1t is better to
under rather than overstate, you
know. "-Bostos Transcript.
I'D like to stay here,'' remarked
the office-boy, as he approached the ed
TORS desk, "but de jobs too heavy for
me. :" "How too heavy?" "Well, l
take de copy into de reposing-room
and dem depositors hit me on de side
of me head. Dere's too much brain
work for me. S'long. Stand
ard. M
The obliging visitor, to show that
he is really fond of children and that
the dear little one is not annoying him
in the least, treats the kid to ride upon
his knee. "Trot! trot! trot How do
you like that, my boy? Is that nicep"
Eyes, sir, /" replies the child, but not
so nice as on the real donkey-the one
with four legs!''-N. z. Ledger.
Some soldiers were digging well
in fort, and when they came to the
water, the commanding officer went to
inspect progress. ''Well, Cowan," said
he to the Irishman at the bottom of the
well. .'you have found the water at
last" "Ah, Kernel" replied the 9th
er, sit all depinds upon knowing how
Che thing ought to be done. ANY other
man but meself would have gone forty
fut deeper without coming to it!'
The New York Critic invites per
sons to send ia the names of forty liv-
ing American amen-of-letters whom they
consider most worthy of membership
in an American academy of Forty I'm
mortals." Well, there's Eli Perkins, and
the Sweet Singer of Michigan, Buffalo
Bill, and Private Dalzell, and Peck's
Bad Boy, and--and-we're stuck"
We don believe there are forty of EN-
unless '.Veritas,'' ''Pro Bono Publico,"
constant Reader" "Many Citizens"
and such men-of-letters are counted. -
NorristoWn Herald.
"A New Degree. Little Nell-What
does those letters B. A. after your name
mean?" Young Pilkins =" They mean
Bachelor of Arts. / got them at col
lege." Little Nell" That's what /
thought. Wasn't it mean of them not to
give you the other letters? Pa said he
wondered you didn't get them" Young
Pilkins delighted -"You mean the
degree of NJ. A. . Little Nell-No,
those were not the letters pa said. "
Young Pilkins-'' Not? Why, what
was it he saidp'' Little Nell He said
he wondered you didn't get the G. b."
Philadelphia Call
There were nine men in the car
and six women. The vehicle was roll
ing along with the windows all rafting
so loud that those who were talking had
to shout. Suddenly the driver checked
up so quickly that all in the vehicle
heard the voice of tall, angular wom-
an away up in the corner exclaiming:
Now, I propose Immediately
six unmarried men shot for the door,
while the three married ones simultane-
ously remarked: ut is useless to pro-
pose to us, madam: we re married. -
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