The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1884-06-21
n1Lt nYF,s TRouRLEn.

BILL HYEB TROUBLES,
No man knows how much the human
heart can endure and yet not burst until
lie has seen bis portrait published o few
times. Then he realizes the wealth of
woe that one soul may wrestle With, and
yet not become unhinged and loosened
frcm its frNil tenement Of clay. Men 60
on, year after year. gaining the esteem
Of their fellow-men by an upright course,
ouly TO lose 1t all by forgetting them
selves at an unfortunate and weak mo-
ment, aud permitting their portraits to
be published and their shame proclaimed
upon the housetops.
Some years ogo an alleged engraving
was made from one OF my photographs,
but the truth was sent to me in time, SO
that l could by telegraph prevent its
publication.
In that portrait the wood englaver bad
taken the liberty to tamper with the
face, and put in little Improvements here
and there, according TO his own ideas of
beauty,
Among the rest, remember that he
had urscrOwed tie lower jaw, and lot it
fall down about an inoh, 80 that the face
had tie expression OF vacant lot in the
early spring.
You pull any mans lower jaw loose,
and lay it on his heavins breast, and then
turn his eyes up toward the star-studded
ssy. and he seems to lack force of char
acter. somehow.
So wired the house to "kill" that
portrait and bury it with the engraver
when the yiolets bloomed.
Then another engraver took his life
and his cold-chisel in hand, and blocked d
out second one. He thought I might
os sensitive about my late front hair, so
be put some on in the engraving without
additional charge. 1t looked like the
bunch Of grass that springs up around an
old buffalo bulls skull
do not care to wear improvised hair
even in an engraving. am not proud. If
nature.intended that myScandnavisn hair
should fall early in the fight can pot
help it. can not ask the engraver to
help me out.
Tho portrait was sverted by the use
of electricity, and the widow of the en-
Graver was asked to send her bill in to
me for adjustment.
Later on another engraver took hold
Of the matter.
He went at it hopefully and even
hilariously, singing anon as he put his
sheet-iron shade over his eyes and Ad-
justed his boiler-iron corset that he might
be ready in case should come in OF
him while he was at work.
He made a specially of Adams apple.
lie made portreit that wasn't so ter
rise If he hadn't thrown in an intellec-
tual waste of adams apple that would
inspire giraffe with awe.
He fooled along with tho engraving
until time to 90 to press, handed it in
with his resignation, got copy of the
paper SO as to be sure that he had done
his horrible work well, and then went to
interior Africa to make home.
For long time after the paper was
published my wife would not recognize
me on the street, and the children were
bathed in tears. suffered q great deal
mentally, but resolved to live it down,
and to aid nae in this great undertake pg
o friend offered to publish a fine, life
like engraving that would he certified to
as accurate, and all former ones de-
nounced as base infringements.
agreed to it, and he went at it.
After good deal of delay he sent me
a proof which bore striking reseua-
blanco to me. I admitted to him that it
favored me, and we decided to let it go
forth with my name attached to it.
Gaily the press went on with its low
rumble and grumble, grinding ont its
thousands of copies of damp papers.
heralding to the Eaglish.speaking world
that the subscriber wore his brains open
to tho irclement weather. and pulled
his scalp down over his eye to be face
tious.
The frat copy of the paper was good
one, and the portrait loomsd up like
the Turkish towel mustache of the young
man, but the next revolution Of the press
disturbed an en- quad or loose canard
or something about the makeup of the
paper, and in the onward march OF
the machine the whole top of my head
was removed and piled up over the off.
eye, like study in olive green or navy
blue after an election fight.
Still, We are getting better class OF
sngrnvers than we had five years ago.
II seemed pretty harsh to kill of the
bad ones, but am willing to make most
any sacrifice for the advancement of art
-PucK.
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