The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-03-06
Bacon Bullets.
An Instance Where the Deceased
American Hog did Effective
Work.

& VI oAd bOulIefS, he took
up a line of speculation in which
the eccentricities of the human
appetite capered nimbly. "The
mind, unused Colonel Bassikar.
lis ruler of the stomach. Our
appetltes are best, keenest and
most sensitive, when we know that
something to eat is beyond our
reach. Food acquired by acct
dent, or 1 may say, provisions
clutched by the hand of stealth,
like stolen fruits, are delicious
Now, that tramp / saw to -day.
sitting on stone eating lunch.
enjoyed the fragmentary repast
more, / dare say, than any pros
porous man does a grand dinner.
My appetite for the past week has
been IN very unhealthful condi-
ton, and [ have showed aside
turkey and dishes of dainty flavor.
but l actually believe that | could
sit on log and eat piece of drv
bread and meat, that is, if the &C
QUESTION of such frugal meal
were surrounded with the charm
OF semi-dishonesty. All, l have
it. l will go home quietly, raise
the kitchen window with
"a burglars caution, steal
piece of meat and bread.
and sit on the fence in a true
sense of enjoyment, and with this
determination the Colonel hurried
along.
He raised the window and STEP
ped into the kitchen. He STUN
bied over a pot and knocked down
a dishpan, and then glided into
the dining-room.
Mrs. Bassiker was awakened bv
the noise, and her hair stood up
like a shock of tangled oats
Mercy on me-" she unused. "a
burglar in the dining-room and I
have forgotten to bring in. the
silver-wsre" The dishes ratified.
81 do wish the Colonel was at
home" and she covered up her
head, the thought ot the silver
ware, was more than she
could stand, so, springing out OF
bed, she seized TIE Colonel
double-barrel shot gun and crept
toward the dining-room.
For sometime the Colonel had
been missing wood, and to punish
the maraadars, he had loaded the
gan with siugs of fat bacon, de-
firing, instead Of committing
slaughter, TO greese the gentleman.
-" ben Mrs. Bassiker reached the
dining room door, sha opened il
just wide enough TO admit Of the
gun, and thrnsting the terrible
weapon though the opening, she
fred both barrels. There is no
gun shot So severe as that inflicted
by fat meat. Men who have pass
ed through the war, and who have
baen riddled by canister, say that
it was fun compared with a Stag
of hog, so, with this explanation,
showing that fat meat has not the
electric shock Of = bullet, but be-
gins at once with the intensified
sting of special hornet, no one
need be surprised to learn that the
Colonel dropped e loaf OF bread
and "squalled'' like hemmed up
wild cat. He didn't merely howl
and then take up his bread and
begin to eat. No, he leaped in
misery and rolled in agony. Mrs.
Bassiker did not recognize his
high tenor, and she made no effort
to relieve his distress, but flew in
to the bedroom and locked the
door. The Colonel went out into
the yard and howled, crazed with
pain, and at times seemed to be
rubbing himself against the cor
ner of the house. After awhile he
knocked at the door and begged
his wife to let him come in and
| see her before he died, but gu
guish had altered his voice and
she exclaimed:
eco on away from here or I'll
give it to you again"
"For heavens sake let me in;
Tn dead"
you'll be deader than you are
if you don't leave here"
"Mary, don't you know me-"
"No, I don't, and you don't
know yourself or you'd leave this
place"
MARY, l am the Colonel, youl
husband"
"Go away, | tell you"
"And has it come to this?" he
sobbed. "Get a divorce from me
with shot gun. Let me in (hic)
and I'll explain.
"Go away; you sre drunk. "
Declare to goodness | hayen't
touched drop"
erThst's }ha CD'3ap,. 9i; th-