The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-06-21
"Eyerythlng's Changed"

'sEverythlng's Changed"
Old Mr.. Thistlepod looked very de.
jected as he came into the ornate sane
tum of the Hawkeye and sat down in
the society editors favorilc chais
..Nuthin' isn't like it used to be-"
said the old man "Evcrything's
changed"
..Right," said the sporting editor,
feeling in his other pocket first, 'and
there is precious little left of the
change And look of woe came
over his countenance as he wondered
what he did with it.
whats the matter nowpn the city
editor asked the visitor.
.Well,n Thistlepod replied, i've
ben out lookin' at the boys play foot
ball. Now, they amt any science in
football. Anybody knows that. I've
played football M you have m you
know they amt no science in it. They've
run all the old ball games out. Boys to.
day are too delicate to play'sock-a-bout.'
Moses in Egypt! II amt had Bill Simp.
son fire rcd hot sold min rubber ball
at me so asst couldn't think for Il
week but it'd gone plum thru me! You
hit boy a crack like that with a ball
to-day an he'd cry m lay down NJ"
"There have been base ball players
killed by ball from the bat," said the
sporting editor, intent on standing up
for the boys OF to-day.
..An so they'd ought to benz" roared
the old man, in burst of wrath. $50
they'd ought to ben! Every last one OF
EN-! Any man that'd 20 maskcrdin'
around in such a game had ought to be
killed. faint anything like Chris
| tian game o. ball, knockin' men to
peices like that way. faint played
right, no how. Is over the fence outP
No faint. Kin you cross a man be-
twixt basesp No you can't. Kin you
hit him clip with the ball when he's
rt,nnin' betwixt bases, and put him out
an make him think you've bored
hole clean thru him at the same time?
No you can't. Ye got to run after
him weth one foot on yer base and tech
him weth the ball in yer hands. Is
that any way to play ball, Ia like to
knowp Kin fellow knock ball
mile, an then run around the ring
three times an bring the whole crowd
IMP Or kin he bring another Teller in
when he runs around oncet wethout
stoppin'? No he can't. DO you choose
sidesp No you don't! You have
teams an"
40 well, Mr.. Thistlepod, said the
sporting editor, that's old town BALI
nobody plays that now"
That ballp' howled the old man.
"Didn't play ball aforc you was bornP
Reckon nobody plays 'one old cat nor
two old cat now, nuther. Nor Andy
over nor bull pen nor anything. Don t
talk TO mel"
.But about this game of foot-ballp"
asked the city editor, anxious to get
the old man back to his item.
80! Well, they call it foot ball, but
goodness only knows what 1t RELY was
They he'd two teams; hope to die II they
didn't. An the more | looked an the
more / listened, the less | knowed
They he'd goals and half-backs-now
what'n the name o. sense Is half
backs?' An they had touch downs.
whatever they be. an rushers and full
backs. an quarter backs, an there was
off sides, an safety touch downs, an
drop kicks, an dribbled kick offs, an
! punted balls, an all that sort o. non
sense. Now what kind of way is
that to play foot ball I'd like to knowp''
"How did you used to play football,
Uncle William" asked the society
| editor.
"Kicked itv' shouted the old man.
"Slapped it down on the ground an
kicked it! When we couldn't git IL tc
where the ball was, danced around an
kicked somebody's. shins! Kicked an
got kicked back! H'isted herl Didn't
have no pull backs m no goals m no
punts n no nonsense! Jest kicked
Like this!
And the boys cheered as the old man
jumped up, backed across the sanctun
and made rush at the waste basket tc
show how they clicked it," He
caught it low and up far into the blue
cerulean dome of the ceiling went thai
basket, out of the open window and in
graceful curve clear across the street.
and for two long hours it rained
original poems, sonnets of all sorts Of
girls with fancy names and two-ton
political contributions and faded CORE
spondence, and demands for the
stoppage of the paper. threats of libel
suits, and miscellaneous shower Of
advice, dictation, suggestion, approba.
ton, abuse, check, news and political
wisdom from Taxpayer, Constant
Reader, Old Subscriber, Fiat Justitia,
Citizen, Vox Populi, Lex, Americas,
and One Who Knows. While bowling
and grooming under the table, lay old
Mr. Thistlepod, with a broken toe,
while big stoneware Queen Anne
cuspidor, that had been through three
Presidential campaigns, lay in its place
by the side Of the waste basket, without
q dent in it.
| Football usei to be great game
when Uncle William was a boy, and
they just kicked Burlington HaWkeye.
Medical Item.