The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-07-18
Mr.. Nasty Reads Harper's Weekly and
Has n Dream Over II.
CONFIDENT y ROADS,
(Which is in the State NV Kentucky
loon %. 1884.

Since Hdrper'S Weekly hez jined
hands with the Corners and BEGUN
trooly Dimekraiic, ] determined to en-
curridge it, and we made up puss and
subscribed for one copy, witch bubbles
its cirkelashen in the Corners. If its
cirkelashen will bubble everywhere the
IIarper's will hev accomplished ther
purpus, and will come back perma-
nenily to the DemoCrisy witch they left
in 1861, after the war cut OFF the South
from Their trade, and the Republicans
refoosed to hev any paper witch carica-
toored the goriller Linkin.
The fust number we reserved con-
tanned cartoon upon the story NV Nir-
ginia and her father Virginius.
/ he'd a great deal NV trouble to make
the Corners understand the meanin' NV
the pikter. he'd to tell them that Vir-
ginia wuz the dawter nv Roman otii-
ser, sort NV brigadeer-general, ez 1t
were, that the emperor wuz in love
with her, and wuz bound to hev her
anyhow, that the gal wuz i'll love with
another Teller, that the emperor. to git
her, he'd one NV his favorites trump up
story that she wuz RELY his slave and
that this sneekin cuss brot the girl afore
the emperor, who Nv course gave judg-
ment in favor NV the sneek, the pint
bein to git the gal away from her father
and lover, when she would be immejit
ly turned over to him that when judg-
ment wuz rendered, the father, to save
the gal from falliu into the hands NV
the tyrant, snatched knife from
butchers stall and killed her.
Deekin Pogram remarkt that it wuz
shameful waste NV property, that in
the good old DAYS in Kentucky like
" gal like that wood bring $500 in
Moo Orleens.
Then | went on to show that in the
pikter, Virginia, the inosent gal, stood
for the Republican party, that the crooel
Emperor witch wuz agoin to take her
anyhow wuz Blaine, land that Nirginius,
the father of the gal, witch wuz akillin
the virgin to prevent her from fallin
into the hands of Blaine, wuz the indie
pendent Republican party, made up
mostly NV Ho1per'S Weekly and Mast,
the artist, witch now lilly respect.
They pretended to understand it, but
they didn't. 1t amt classikle alOoshens
that ketch the Corners. They don't
know much about Virginius. but jist
invite EN- over to BascOm's. That they
comprehend. NV constitooent must
be appealed to mostly thro the bowels.
After exhaustin myself trying to eX-
plain the piktcr | went to bed and
dreemed. The pikter wuz fresh in my
mind. Their wuz the Independent Re
publikin, labelled independent Reprb-
likiu," so't you cooden't make anv mis-
take, tber wuz Virginia, the handsome
gal, labelled "Republikin party" sol
700 cooden't make any mistake about
that, and there wuZ the emprer labelled
"Blaine," soft VOC cooden't make any
mistake about him. Mr.. Mast hez to
label all his pikters now, sence he has
jined the Dimocrisy.
To begin with, it wuz all in the drecm
list ez it wuz in the pikter. Blaine
rushed forrerd to seeze the Repubikin
party, and the Independent party, Mr..
Curtis, seezed the gal and drawed her
to one side and waved the butcher knife
aloft, and wuz agoin to strike.
Their wuz immejetly a tremenjus
change from the pikter. The damsel
standin by the Reoublkin party
wuzn't a shrinkin gal at all, but she
wuz tall, strappin, splendidly pro-
porshened female with muscle onto
her, And the Independent voter wuZn't
hardy soljer, with legs like the cedars
of Lebanon and muscle like a black
smith, but he wuz Il thin-leggid, mar
rer.chested, long-haired, swallow faced
dude, with his hair partid in the mid
die. lie wuZ a-leanin on the gal in
| 81,
moment he quit leanin onto the gal his
knees knocked together and it wuz
with great diflikilty that he stood
alone. lie WIZ so week without his
material support that he he'd to ketch
onto a Southern Dimorcrat witch stood
neer to keep on his feet at all, and the
shadder NV tbe Southern DimOcrat hid
him from mortal view. He wobbled.
The order NV things ez wuz set down
in the pikter wuzn't observed at all.
Their wuZ variashen different from
wat the Independent voter expected.
The fair damsel, the Republican par
ty, suddenly developed great deel NV
muskeler power and constable will
of her own. She riz to her full hite
and fetched the Independent dude one
| uUueT llc car llldI seHl MIN Ill one Oil
reckshun and the knife another, and
then she jumped onto the two of EN-,
and KEEP jumpin on EN- till Mr.. Mast
didn't know whether he wuz Mast OF
Curtis, and Mr.. Curtis wuz in CRATE
doubt whether he wuZ Curtis or Mast
llevin finished the Independent party
she rushed over to Blaine, and THROWN
herself in his muskeler arms, reposed
there confdinly and ez quietly ez any
well-behaved young female ever did in
the arms NV her ownest.
The Independent parry aris and sed
"Look here, this isn't the way it is, al
all. 700 must permit me to kill voc
to save yer honor, 700 know. Eff voc
don't,w wat becomes NV me and HdIpeI',
Weekly? This won't do at all. Fal
into my arms and be knitted without
maxim all this fuss. 700 can't live
without me, 700 know"
Then up spoke the damsel.
"EXcoose me. When make change