McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-01-24
A TOUGH STORY.
Told by the Oldest Man In America.

Boston Globe.
aye wouldn't think ter look ut me
that am the Oldest man in America,
would YEP" said a curious looking rel
ic in the Charlestown navy yard.
swell, I've knowed this place when it
| was all woods. Men the old boss is old
chumn's stand-bys round-here, and
| about all that's left of the old crew.
Come with me and Ill show the boss to
yo."
On the extreme end of moldering
wharf in the shadow of prodigious
hulk grooming and creaking at its rusty
moorings on the summit of pyramid
Of cannon balls stood the specter horse.
His evil and speculative eye looked
down with Il questioning glare which
haunted the writer for many day.
"That boss has got tistry that
jumps over anything we ever heard"
continued the old man. "When Uncle
Sam staked out this spot for workshop
the old critter was bought by the gov
eminent of a mat by the name of Tur-
ner, down at Weymouth, Londin. Wall,
that boss drawed most all the stone
used in the great wall around this yard
Drawed 'em from Quincy, Watertown
and Cambridge, on a drag. In 1929
spar fell from swinggr and sprung
his backbone. Old Perry, that's his
name, never seemed hisself after that.
An order came on from Washington,
sort of putin the faithful critter. on the
retired list in 1892. Thirty years ago
the appropriation for his fodder was
stopped, but he wandered about eatin'
sawdusL and tarred ropes. In 1876,
when Polk was president, an order
was sent on here ter kill the beast. But
We can't destroy a sperrit. The govern
ment has spent more $50, 900 ter heave
that old brute inter eternity, and they
can't do it'll" and the aged man wildly
pounded his weather-beaten tarpaulin
hat against an anchor-stock. "a SQUAD
of marines was ordered cut one day ter
open fire on the poor animal, but it
didn't do no more good'n thrown pea
beaus agin the walls of the universe.
Then they opened q eannonade on him
with heavy gums, but his old hide was
too tough; he snOrted, and, breaking
from his anchorage, kicked the hfe out
of the gunner, and went grubbin' on an
old hempen hawser.
"In 1853, under Fiimore's admins
tration, the commandment here was or
dered to get rid of the old boss, if it
beggared the nation. Then a gang of
pushed him overheard inter
the dry dock, where he stayed two
weeks. Then he got kinder lonesome
and ugly, and I'll be eternally cussed if
that old ghost didn't turn his old huffs
agin the sold granite wall, and kicked
out whole section of stone, lettin' in
the tide water, which foated him up in
ter the yard, where he run round whin-
nerin' in devilish CLEO. That hole in
the wall cost the government $4,000.
Then they took him inter the saw shop,
and tried ter split him up, but as soon
as the saw struck his hide it broke inter
splinters, KILN three men and wound
IN two more. Then they took him inter
Dne OF the machine shops, and tried ter
drill hole in him SOS they could Git
inter him ter blow him up,
out the steel drills was twisted off and
The old cuss went off unhurt. When
frank Pierce was elected president the
Nd boss business was brought up before
congress again, and Zach Chandler, or
cotton Mather, or some of them old
congress chaps, said they'd fix the
larned boss, and the ship Constitution
vas ordered to carry the brute and sink
lim down off Pint Comfort He was
listed on board and throwed overheard
8 ordered, but he was back ter Char
estown before the old ship got back,
nd here he is, and here he will prob
bly, stay az long as the world stands
md the old man turned wrathfullY
way and disappeared.