Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-11
BRIGHT BITS.

THE first lightning calculator: Benjamin
Franklin.
COLD is itself great contractor, but any
body can contract cold.
IT may be interesting to note that black
smiths are very much given to labor strikes.
- AM pressed for food" says the corned
beef in the can.-Nel0 York Commercial Il d.
0ertiser.
1T is Impossible for pawnbroker to be a
drunkard. He takes the pledge every day
Philadelphia chronicle.
IT is SAID that TennysOn accepted a peerage
to please his son. Most Tennyson would have
wanted his pa to take it.-PhitadeLphta FRO
greSS.
ETERNAL vigilance Is the price of liberty,
but the price of pedestal to put IL on Is a
good round number of very -hard-to-Set dol
lars.-BOstOn Courier.
TIE Washington Sentinel the brewers or
gan, speaks of ''elderly women of both sexes"
And yetthey say that lager beer is not intoNi-
catng!-OU City Derrick
The power of decay: 1T is Fort sumter, the
Bunker Hill of rebellion, and though since 1t
was RACED to the ground in 1868, 1t has gradu-
ally been falling to pieces etc.-C0TreSpohd-
eRce Boston Courier.
"FIx HIM." said Tawmus sob, I'll fix
White His room is next to mine, ana the
first cold night I'll go into his room before he
comes in and turn the clothes on his bed half
two feet. That's all the revenge want.
THE new mother was bitterly lamenting
that her frst-born was crOss-eyed, and the
father, after looking at the babe for second,
said encOuragingly; Never mind, Marina.
If he's cross-eycd he'll never be masher.
There some consolation in th0t."-Fhf5ac'cS-
DhiG Chronicle.
81 wath much surpwthed," remarked an
ENGLISH dude, ito hear an American iady use
the eXDWessiOn, 'yank the bum p" Its very
al no Y
claimed the far Chicago girl at his side. ~ on
don't tell me, now; ! suppose that's the rea-
son Americans are called Yankees. '-B0St0H
Star.
A ST. Louis DOCTOR says that bOnbOns,
sweetmeats, ice cream, etc, cause indigcs-
ton, headache congestion of the liver, and is
a great source of bois and pimples. Cut this
out and show 1t to your GIRL PhtlddelpAtd
CdH1 And get turned out for limiting at
such a falsehOOd as that she is so afflicted?
Not much
MORE deaf than formerly girl
''Papa, did mamma say yes to you right OIL
when you asked her to marry you" Papa
Certainly she did" l.. G.-"Why don't she
say YES now Just as quick when you ask her TO
do things?" Papa-"Mammas hearing is not
so good now, darling-that's all.'-Phitddet-
Ohid call.
SHE pressed her hand on her hair,
And her cheek as red as rose.
And drew it over her forehead fair.
And toyed with her Grecian nose
And no smile on sunny wing,
Its flight DER her features took,
Because on her dazzling engagement ring
Her sisters wouldn't look.
Puck.
Il REGRET to inform you," said a railroad
superintendent to one of the conductors OF
the line, ''that after the first of the month all
salaries will be reduced ten per cent "Ah,
indeed" replied the conductor indif1erently,
"and will your salary he subjected to the
same reduction?" "Certainly." "WeI, l
feel sorry for the engineers aud brakemen,
poor fellows. but you and I've can stand 1t.
Ell! old boy?' and the light puncher
of tickets poked the superintendent playfully
in the ribs. -PhIddeLDhid CdU