Connecticut western news., 1884-05-21
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM PARADISE
 HALL.
The President Disband and ARitatOr nm Sets
 Him Adrift.
From the Detroit Free Press l

By actual count there were forty three members of the club coughing and sneezing at the moment the triangle sounded, and it was not until four min- utes after the echoes died away that the President arose from behind his desk and said:
 "f Socrates Spikeroot am in de hall dis evenin' would like to see him out heah in front of de desk"
 Socrates had just crowded himself in between the stove and the wood-box, calculating to get warmth enough to last him until the next meeting, and he didn't look over-pleased at being dis turbed. When he had lmped along to the desk, one hand in his pocket and the other digging into his wool, Brother Gardner continued:
 "Hov long have you bin member of dis clu0?"
 "'Bout six months, sah.
 "Um It has been bout three months since I fust had my eyes on you, an to- night you seber your connexun wid dis club. Misser Spikeroot, it was under stood when you jined dis club dat you was barber. Has you barbed anybody or anythin' since dat date ?"
 "I-I-no, sah."
 ''On de contrary, you has loafed aroun' saloons an policy shops an queer places, an no man has known you to do an honest days work. We doan' banker arter sich members as you. When a poo man kin lib widout labor people have a right to be suspishus of him. Brudder Giyeadam Jones, you will escort dis pusson to de doah. If, when he gifts dar', he should utter any remark deroga- tory to de character of de Lime-Kiln Club, you needn't put de Bogardus kicker at work. Let him go in peace. What he kin say won't hurt us, an you might kick too hard an break leg. |"
 After the late deceased had been shown out and order restored, the President said
 ''Gem'len, if dar am any mo- agita- tors in de hall I want 'em to listen close ly. Socrates Spikeroot used to be a hard-workin' man. All to once he got de ideah dat capital was oppressin' la Dor. He quit airnin' SIP per week be- kase he didn't want to be oppressed. In a month he became dead-beat While it am a serious offence fur capitalists to oppress labor, it am all right for kicker to go aroun' borrowin' money, runnin' in debt, an stealth his wood. h few weeks ago Mister Spikeroot got lone some, an began to agitate. He went to var'us laborin' men an convinced 'em dat de man who airns his SIP or $14 per week orter turn out and mob de capital ists who furnish him de chance.
 "He am now an agitator. He has got lacks an figgers to prove dat de work in man who owns his cottage and kin airn a good support fur wife an chilren am de most oppressed bein' on de face of dis airth. When a saloon turns him out he threatens to boycott it. When a man refuses to lend him money he am called bloated monopolist. When his wife wants shoes or his chill'en cry fur bread, he comforts 'em wid de statement dat America am buildin' up an aristoc- racy to lord it over de poo men an grind 'em to powder. If Misser Spike root has left any friends behind, an op- portunity will now be giben 'em to pick up deir hats an feet an trabble."
 There was deep silence for minute, and as no one travelled the President signed for the Secretary to proceed with the regular order of business.