McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-11-20
Mrs. spoopendyse Attempting the Htssrion.e.

Mrs. Spoopendykc Attempting the Htstrionsc.
"My DEAR" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
contemplating herself in the glass as
she removed her hat and gloves. my
dear, wasn't the theater just too sweet
for anything! Do you know, / think |
would like to 60 on the stagep"
Like to drive, perhaps" suggested
Mr.. Spoopendyke.
81 mean act" replied his wife. 81
think could do it as well as any OF
those women tonight. Do you know
much about theaters? Is it hard?"
NO." grunted Mr.. Spoopendyke,
Juggling at his boots. sit would be very
easy for you. All you have to do is to
stand around and talk, and you won't
want any rehearsals for that"
'.But | would have to practice twist
ing around so as to fall in that mans
arms like she did, unused Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, 81 don't think could do it as
gracefully as she did without trying sew
eral times
THAT'S the part You want to play, is
itp" growled Mr.. Spoopendyke, with a
shade of the green in his eye. You
let me see you fall on any mans should
ers like that, and you'll find no trouble
in getting twisted around few times.
What's your idea in going on the stage?
Have YOU got stomach full of devotion
to art like the rest of the women of this
generation? Got sort of notion that
you can 90 on the boards and show the
old stagers how it's done, haven't YEP
Feel the fires of histironic genius climb
ing up your spine, don't YEP Well you
don't! It's nothing but your measly
vanity.
Don't you think 1 would know how
to actp" she asked, pulling her crimps
over her forehead, assuming stern ex-
preston of visage, and stretching her
arms down rigidly at her sides. ''This
is the way would foil the villain"
sis that what you call itp" inquired
Mr.. Spoopendyky, nursing his knee and
glowering upon her. sit looks more as
if you were bidding against another
woman for a second hand hair cloth sofa
at an auction. If that sort of thing is
calculated to foil the william, he must be
light in the waist"
Il don't know" smiled Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, rubbing her chin. I'm all the
plays 1 have seen, they always drive the
bad man off with naughty look. Say,
dear, isn't this the way to welcome
husband after long absence?'
and she parted her lips, gazed
eagerly into space, and extended her
arms.
'.That's the way to hail a street earl
grunted Mr.. Spoopendyke. eff you
want to make the welcome to the hus-
band perfectly natural you ought to
have smell of onions in the hall and
your back hair in your mouth. That's
the kind of welcome always get"
mo you don't, either!'' protested
Mrs. Spoopendyke. 81 always run right
up to you and kiss your
.Well, there's a smell of onions about
it somewhere" persisted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. ''What makes you stick your
arms out like andirons?' he demanded.
':You look as if you were trying to keep
off dog
''Anyhow, that's the way they do it."
argued Mrs. Spoopendyke, a tritle
abashed. ''Then, when they get the
letters telling them that their uncle
specialized away all their property, they
do like this,' and Mrs. Spoopendyke
threw her hand to her forehead, stag
gered back, and caught hold of chair.
(Which does like that, the uncle or
the property" asked Mr.. Spoopendyke,
cycling the performance with high dis
favor. ''It looks something like the
property at the tail end OF the specula-
ton, but it resembles more accurately
the uncle buying lower berth for Can
ada
81 meant it for the orphan who had
been despoiled, murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, Strengthening up and looking
rather downcast. cit was intended for
an attitude of despair. How would you
do it, this way?" and she sank into the
chair, covered her face with her hands
and sobbed violently.
eff I wanted to give the impression of
a tight boot and corn, l should do it just
that way growled Mr.. Spoopendyke.
Should I throw my arms forward
listlessly and let my head fall SOP" she
inquired, suiting the gesture to the ques-
ton.
That's more like it," assented Mr..
Spoopendyke with a grin. ''People who
hadn't seen the play before might think
you were counting the pieces for the
washwoman, but the orchestra would
understand its
II don't care" demonstrated Mrs.
Spoopendyke; II know / could act if [
could get chance. Now see me scorn
nv lover when I find out that he loves
me not and has been paying his adj
dresses to the heiress.'' and she threw
her head back, stretched out one arm,
and covered her face with pale cast of
loathing.
THAT might do said Mr.. Speopen-
dyke slowly. cit looks to me like an
attempt to borrow $3.50. Stick out the
other hand and make it five. l don't
know though" he continued, "both
arms would look like bring me me
che-ild!' I guess you'd better stick to