Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-03-21
Tribune Tw1NKLEs.

Tribune TWINKLEs.
QUEEN VIC insists that her potatoes shall be
baked Brown.
The Queen of Ashantee wears coral jewelry-
and mighty little else.
TIE Prince of Wales has decided not to wr'te
book. We see the hand of the old lady IN
this. i
MARY ANDERSON threatened to play fye"a-
lion" in Berlin, and Bismarck has been silently
weeping ever since.
STRAWBERRIES are ten cents apiece in New
York. You can have three for quarter II you
take real small ones
NEW edition of Observation-Disclosures
Volksbucher" il to be published soon. Order
through your newsdealers.
Rev. w. 81. 81. MURRAY is travelling corree-
pondent for Texas Siftings. This must be one
of that papers funny jokes
TIE nspers say that Calamity" Weller's beard
,ooks "a if it had been cut with buzz saw. In
*h;s ia resembles Calamity" James hair.
ACorumBus. O., woman poisoned her pet dog
and then committed suicide. The dog was a
great favorite in the town and it's death was sin
cerely mourned.
GENERAL, SHERMAN purchased pistol and
started for Missouris capital the other day. po5
Governor Orittenden was notified IN time to
take to the woods.
ADAwsoN man writes to the TRIBUNE that he
is freddy for treesen, strattagem and spoylee'
He should go to Fargo and report to the Fen'an
commander for duty.
GEORGIA girl is seven feet high. When her
lover wishes to whisper burning words OF aftec-
tion in her ear he is obliged to use step ladder
and balancing pole.
TT ia said that while en- route to st. Paul, 5it-
ting Bull expressed no surpriee at anything ne
saw. until Pullman porter walked through the
car with slow and measured tread.
THEY ssy Langtry snores.-Boston Post. 1t
is q miserable slander.-Welch, in Philadelphia
Gall. But how about the cold feet accusation
Welch? You still have the floor.
The Buffalo Express speaks of Joe Cook a"
.the Hierophant of Gush," Everyone knows
that Joe is q pretty tough customer, but no one
dreamed he was so bad as that.
JAY GOULD sucks oranges until they are dry
and then pockets the peel. We may just as well
give up all hope of reforming that man and turn
our attention to something else. sos
g An u-vear-old boy in Corydon, Ind. COM
mitted suicide because his parents refused to let
him eat at first table. He wantedi to have
show for some of the pie with the rest OF the
family.
A WASHINGTON correspondent says: "Presi-
dent Arthur can hum correctly two bars OF
"Over the Garden WALL" Carl Schurz pensively
drums on the piano, 1--WE Never Speak as We
Pass By"
KATE FIELD says she never had a corn in her
lif but the reporter couldn't induce her to talk
ABOUT bunions and ingrowing toe nails, ana
when he mentioned chilblains she turned pale
and fled.
WANG CHIN Foo, ex editor of the Chinese
American, is going to travel over the country
with Chinese theatrical troupe. He had bet
ter have his actors clad in iron before he in
vades the sensitive west.
= WHEN Texas man went into the dining room
of Boston hotel and laid, his revolver beside
his plate everybody wondered at it, but the
reason was not long forthcoming. He wanted to
eat Die with bis knife without interference.
THIS year esch ancient maiden will
Ask some young man to choose her,
And file breach Of promise bill
If he doth dare refuse her.
Washington Hatchet.
B1oAJAH OWENS of Wilcox county, Ga, is 81
wears old and goes fishing every day. When he
dies and goes up for final settlement and sees
the lies charged against him he will wasn't to go
Into bankrdl Acy on the spot.
THE news has been cabled ACROSS the ocean
that Mr.. Gladstone has got cold. The press
association should recognize the thoughtfulness
of it's London agent by sending him the true
condition of the presidents corns
4 PHILADELPHIA teacher attempted to repri-
mand some little boys, when they pulled their
revolvers and attempted to shoot him. Out here
in the quiet west such story as this reads a.
most like fable, but the papers assure us that
it ia true. IN
PEoKs Sun: II want you to make my pants
act as neat as these" said bowlegged customer