Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-12-24
the thing for streets where the travel
is heavy.-Ex.
The Lucky Man.

dends, there was no longer any ex-
citement around the doors, and 'any
body was admitted.
"May see the receiver" asked a
shrewd, happy-looking man of the
president.
Certainly; but won't | do as
wellp
"Who are youl" the visitor in
quired.
81 am the president"
Eyes, l guess you'll suit me. l
want to deposit some money in this
bank"
"Money in this bank Why, it
has failed-'busted' pay
ment. The cashier has got away
with all the money"
EYES," answered the stranger; 81
know that well enough. That's the
reason | came here"
"Man alive you don't want to put
your cash in an insolvent bank !
We have no idea of resuming."
81 don't care straw for that. |
want you to take my deposit"
Cant do it," said the president,
firmly. You'd lose it"
"Losc it? Not much. Never lost a
cent in my life"
"What do you mean?"
81 mean just this-that I'm the
unhappiest man in existence, because
I'm so lucky. 1t is luck that is just
killing me, and want it to turn. 1
have heard that in my neurological
history there was a man who could
not touch anything without it turn
ing into gold. 1 must be descendant
of his"
"Well, my friend, your luck will
certainly turn this time. If | took
your money it would be thrown
among the assets, and you'd get in
return but a small dividend. But l
won't do it,"
Nothing of the Sort" returned
the would-be depositor. "The bank
would be open again in week, every
body would be paid in full, and /
should double or treble my money in
some way or other. Oh, if you'd
only let me leave it herep
"No, sir"
ut is always the way" returned
the visitor, dejectedly. Nobody will
take pity OH me, and this abominable
good luck will continue to follow me
throughout life. Listen, kind sir, to
my sad story:
"When | was young man | sent
my little brother to make deposit in
a savings-bank. Johnny fell down
on his way, and didn't pay it in. The
next day the bank busted and paid
but one cent on the dollar. bought
lottery ticket, and won the capital
prize and received the cash. The
following week all lotteries in the
State were suppressed. l went to a
club at a watering-place, threw a
five-dollar bill OH the double 90, it
came up ten times running, and | left.
That night all gambling houses were
raided by the police. found my
way to Wall street. l bought a hun
dred shares of the first stock that
came to hand. 1t was 'cornered' in
the morning, and 1 cleared little
fortune. A rich widow smiled OH me
at Saratoga. / offered myself, and
was accepted. We were married.
Our happiness was short-lived. In
less than ten days she fell overheard
in the lake and was drowned. Her
immense fortune became mine.
"Now my misery began. | had too
much money, and knew not what to
do with it. l could not get rid of it.
threw myself in the way of bunco-
steerers, in the hope of being swim
died. They would let me draw real
prizes, and send me home with genu-
inc coin and greenbacks. IF / buy a
piece of swampy land full of malaria
it will rise in price over night and
bring me five thousand dollars foot.
l once tried to lose big roll of large
bills. / dropped it in the gutter. 1t
was of no use. A tramp who had
seen me do it ran after me, and put
the roll back in my pocket. sped
like the wind; he went faster, and |
was foiled. l offered him thousand
dollar bill for his trouble. He de-
clined to take more than fifty cents.
And now you refuse the trihing boon
| ask. The world is in a conspiracy
against me. Would that / were poor ~
Then the unhappy man went forth
from the "busted" bank, looking the