Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-08-06

THE CORNERS RATIFY THE NOMINATION
AND DISCUSS THE PLATFORM.
y. CONFEDERATE Y ROADS (wich is in
the State of Kentucky July 24-Tne
nooze Nv the nominashen NV Cleve-
= land, for the Presidency by the Dim
/ ecratic Nashnel Convenshun at Chi
cago, reecht the Corners by mule ex-
press from the stashen at Secession
vile. To say that the nooze evoked
the profoundest sensashen is putin
1t altogether too mild. The horn
wuz footed from the front NV Bas-
com grocery, and at the sumons the
citizens Nv the Corners rallied at the
meetln house and we organized our
selves to wunst into a ratification
meetin.
1 took the chair, ez a matter of
course, and Isaker Gavitt was yoon-
anlmusly appintcd Sekretary. he be-
in the only citizen Nv the Dimekratic
persuasion in the Corners wich hez
the gift Nv ritin, ceptin myself, and
Nv course | can't be President and
Sekretary Nv the same meetin.
The follerin resolooshen wuz to
wunst submitted:
ResotUed, That the Dimocrisy NV
Confederit y Roads, hev heerd with
mingled emoshuns Nv pleasure and
gratltood Nv the nominashun NV that
sterlin patriot and world renowned
statesman, Cleveland, Nv
Ther ensood at this point a most
okkerd pause
"What State is Cleveland from ?"
enquired the Chairman. NV the Com
nifty on Reselooshens.
NV Moo York [ answered
promptly.
The blank WIZ filed in wen IN
forchnitly it WIZ sejested that ez the
resolooshens wuz agoin out to the
world it wood be decent to put IN
his fuSt name. and not one Nv us
knowd wat it WIZ
Deekin Pogram insisted that it
must be Androo. The fust vote l
cast for a Dimokrat for President"
be remarkt, ''wuz for AndrOo, An
krew Jaxon, and the last Dimokratic
President we he'd wuz another An
droo. Androo johnson. This man,
Cleveland, his name must be And |
roo.
And so it went into the resoloosh-
apc .sApJ,on (fla-a1a,1
l discovered a diffikilty the mint !
[ red the platform. Deekin Pogram
is, and alluz hez bin, a violent free
trader, while Issaker Gavitt is, and |
hez bin, violent perteckshunist ever
sence he sekoored interest in aroll- I
in mill wich sum Eastern capitalists
establish on his fathers farm. L
supposed, however, that L he'd EN- |
both fixed l red it to them sepa-
rately, and constrood peteckshnn,
and TO the good old Deekin that
it wuz ez wildly free trade ez even he
Good desire.
The platform was red by myself.
and we proposed another resooshen
approvin that Then trouble ensood.
Deekin Pogram, wich is a violent
free trader riz to remark that he
Good vote for that platform with his
whole hart and sole. He he'd bin a
free trader all his life and he never
knowd a Dimekratic Convenshun to
plant itself SO cleerly and explicitly
on the side Nv free trade sence he
had bin in pollytix.
Issaker Gavitt riz to say he Good
vote for the tariff plank with all his
hart becoz that plank showed that
the Dimocrisy he'd finely got right
on the tariff question, the plank, ez
be red it, being for the proteckshun
nv American industry. 1t was en-
to tqem, wich believed in
progress and sich, to hev the Dimoc- :
risy Nv the Nashen rite onto this
most important pint
DO you pretend to say that the
Dimocratic platform favors perteck
shun p shrieked the Deekin. 'Es it
wuz red to me, it IL for free trade,
pure and simple
''Yoo old ass, can't 700 understand {
plane English. Eff it isn't square
5oed proteckshun dockyment L can't
spell. Ypo are fool and alluz wuz
Jist then the Deekin, in the inter
est w harmony, announst his inten-
'hun ut whalin Issaker and proceed
I'd to dosit, and ez the old man allus
did hev muscle ther wuz the pros v
pex NV lively row. He jumped t
across the seets to the Sekretarys c
desk and he'd Issaker by the throte, !
and Issaker he'd him by the hair wher b
It is the shortest, and they wuz a rol- 4
in on the floor in less'n no time.
In the meantime Bascom and Ker- e
nel MPelter he'd got into tussel ez :
to what the platform meant en- the !
money question, and the rest Nv the r
citizens got into squabble ez to @
Cleveland wuz a Dimekrat !
1t all or not, becoz Tammany oppos-
I'd him. and the upshot of the biznis
Tuz ther wuZ row wich inclooded
every Dimekrat present except me, c
md we broke up without passin any
'esolooshens or ratifyin the nomin-
ashen at all q
Deekin Pogram and l retired to
the back room NV Bascoms, and n
while the old Saint wuz washin' the I
blood OFF his face, we he'd a conver
sation over the platform c
'-Parson, sed the old man., ''what q
IS the reel meanin Nv the platform ?" S
Anything 700 ike. wuz my re- ,