The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1884-12-18
WIT AND HUMOR.

Who wrote the most Dickens, War
rem or BulwerP Warren wrote "Now
and Then" Bulwer wrote might and
Morning" and Dickens wrote "All tho
Year Round" l
She held him fast in her soft white
arms, and kissed him warm with q
yearn1ng hug, for she was girl of
tho upper ten, And hc-well, he was a
do&goned png.-Merchont Traveller.
How funny things work aroundl Sin
brought clothes into tho world, and IL
1t were not for sin nobody would 90 to
church, for had it not been for sin there
would be no clothes to show there
Boston Transcript.
Papa" said little daughter of q
clergyman recently, ''if God tells you
what to write in your sermon, why do
you 80 often scratch it out againp"
The clergyman changed tho subject by
asking her how she liked her new doll.
"What's This thingP" asked man
who was inspecting music store.
"ThatP Oh. that's used on violins.
Wc cali :: - chin rest" Gimme
one!" cAt = med the visitor. "S'pose
1t would 'rk on my wifeP"-Burting-
ton Free ircSS.
Visitor TO Nantucket-"For good
ness sake, tell mo what you do here In
the Wlntcr?' Native-"Oh. we get ON
pretty well. We go to bed at sunset
and sleep next day till noon; then we
get up and pray for night to come,
that VIC may go to bed again"
He-"In what respect does billiards
change my usual disposition" She
(naively-"Does it change your dispo-
sitionP" Hc-"Yes; in billiards I
never kiss when l can help 1t, where
as ordinarily" She-"fou never
kiss il anybody else can help itp'
The Chinese In New York are bepin-
mig to learn American habits. In their
district tho saloon-kccpers now get ur
| cards in Chinese, which read: "Amert-
can cocktails for the morning, Ameri-
can sours for noon, and American
punches for night" Tho trade is re-,
ported brisk.
The teacher of q Chelsea Sunday
School recently asked her pupils tho
following question, expecting "sin"
for an answer: What, children, caus-
cs the most trouble and misery in the
worldP" For n time no ono answered,
but finally small, bright boy held up
| =
ers, darn 'cm. "-Bostou Globe.
A New York tailor has hit it. 1t is
simply n double or false vest pc c}:et in
which to carry cigars. Those which
you smoke yourself are entirely invis-
iblo. but those you have for your
friends peep templingly out from over
the edge. man who wears such q
pocket and is cautious. may got n repu-
tation among the cigar fiends for
smoking ''ccllardooros. but he will
Save no end Of money.
The Somervillo (Tenn.) Falcon
brings the story of one cf the daught-
ers of the dusky race, vino had just
made her first visit to the Episcopal
Church in that place. On reaching
home she said: Look here missus, I
never seed such doin' as that at church
afore The people they be's prayin',
and tho preacher he hollor Mt um to got
up, and den he gets mad and turns his
back on 'cm, and don't have muffin to
do with 'em."
"Do you know Mr.. Duderp" asked
ono Newport girl of another. II can't
say that know him, but havo met
him several times" well, you ought
to cultivate him." "Why. is he any
thing muchP" II don't know how he
Will be in the future, but now he needs
cultivation about as much as any man
ever met Then they smiled softly
into each others eyes and went their
several ways.-Mcrcham Traveller.
They were reading the old farmers
will. and the nephew, tho principal
inheritor paying the closest attention
to It's provisions. Presently the notary
came to the clause, "l bequeath to tho
servant that shall close nv eyes 100
francs. " Hi! Hello there" says the
heir, 'just read that again, will your"
The notary complies. That's 100
francs saved anyhow" says the heir;
"uncle only had orc eye! Got the
faithful domestic that time, didn't IP"
-Frcnch F'un.
1t is related that confossor once
had much difficulty in getting an old
Irish woman, regular penitent of his.
to rccollcct any sin. She could not re-
member that she had dono anything
wrong at all. At last, after q severe
examination, he asked her whether she
could remember a sin of her past life.
No. Anything she was sorry forP
Sure, father" she answered, Pm
sorry | ever camo to this country!'--
frecndn'S J0urnak
"Yes, " said tho young man to the
Lecture Committee, "I want to deliver
temperance lecture in your town. ~
you don't look like man who haa
had experience in drinking" remarked
tho Chairman, suspiciously. ''Haye
yoI ever beon n drunkardP" 1 lectursd
all through the South last winter, and
in Florida, where saw swamp-snakc
fifty feet long, - Pardon my
curiosity, SIR" interrupted the Chair.
man: hastily, "when do you want the
hallP'- Graphic.
"Wall, said the boot-black who sal
next to tho alley, and who had been
Keeping very quiet for q long time.
my gal amt stylish nor handsome.
and sho hain't got small feet and a
Grecian nose, but she's awful good.
hearted" "How goodP" asked the
one who carried three cigar stubs in mis-
vest pocket. "Well. the other night
when I'd been eating onions and she
| hadn't aho hhod lin, huro,ay. nhaaaa