The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-01-30
THE PREVAILING QUESTION
From Dreke's Travellers Magazine.l

dyke, holding up one of her hus-
bands scarfs, with her head very
much on one side, and wondering
whether she had better turn it for
future wear, or cut it into patches
for her crazy quilt "My dear, l
see that the Democrats are opposed
to having the Republicans build
more ships to protect the tariff. Do
you know anything about it?
"Wherd you see it 2" demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke, shutting his book
with a bang and scrutinizing his
wife carefully. "W hat report of a
walking match did you get that
political intelligence from ?"
sIt's in all the papers," protested
Mrs. Spoopendyke. Gas near as
could make out from what they
said, the Republican navy had run
down so much that the Democrats
were afraid we couldn't defend the
tariff i'll case of war, and the Eng
lish would come over here and run
away with it. though l don't see
what the English would do with it,
for they have all they can do in get
ting along with Ireland" -
"Did that paper advertise the ad-
vantages of any especial lunatic
asylum that you noticed ?" inquired
Mr.. SpoOpendyke, with much ap-
parent interest in the reply. "Did
it set forth the superiority of any
particular style of the wooden head
over the genuine article? What's
the navy got to do with the tariff,
anyway? Do you know the differ
ence between the tariff and a tom
cat?7
"It's something Democratic, isn't
it ?" mumDled Mrs. Spoopendyke,
who had made up her mind to put
the scarf into the crazy quilt.
when the Republicans had it, it
got pretty high, and l saw by one
of the papers that the Democrats
were standing on it now, | suppose
to keep it down. Really, l don't
see why they don't let the English
have it, if it is such bother, be-
cause"
| "Look herer' interrupted Mr..
Spoopendyke, with a groan of des-
| pair. "Haye you got an idea that
the tariff is some kind of an animali
Think it works On springs? Will
you convey to my mind some kind
of a notion of what you think the
measly thing is p
I II don't know" replied Mrs
| Speopendyke, after deep reflection
From all they have said about it,
got the impression that it was made
J of iron and stuffed with wool
though, of course, l."
CHATS it p retorted Mr.. Spoop
endyke, solemnly. "You know
more about it than l thought yol
did. And l suppose you think they
stand it up on one end between th'
political parties, and the one which
succeeds in pushing it over on th'
other wins the electionsr r
: "Yes," chirped Mrs. Spoopendyke
, delighted to find that she had mad'
herself understood. II know al
) that, but what puzzles me is hov
4 is-howth Democrats can be stand
ing on it when the Republicans go
their President after all. know
4 "You knowl' reared Mr.. Speop
endyke, unable to stand it longer
"That's the trouble with you; yol
J know it all Take what you know
+ with what you believe, and you on
c ly want few illustrations and
lively agent to be three ply direc
< toryl Did it ever occur to you tha
the tariff might be the duty impoa
ed on the Importation of foreigl
q goods Did any of the papers yol
J, have been making up into hustle
convey that idea to your mind p
"Then l understand it perfectly
a smiled Mrs. Speopendyke, prepar
ing to impart her views. can
e that's the reason the Democrat
i want it, SO England won't get tn
: Irish" s
"Who said anything about tn
( Irish and English 2" demanded MI
Spoopendyke. II said the imports
ton of goods, not people Thin
they send Irishmen over here i
bales, marked This end up p Doe
s it run in your rafting skull ths
n our revenue is derived from came
;. Irishmen, or Irishmen in the origin
t al wood2 I tell ye, we put a tari
e on foreign manufactures, and tn
), question now is, whether the tari
g shall be reduced or not. Now, yo
settle down on that and see if 70
d CAN make anything of it."
a Certainly, replied Mrs. SpooI
/ endyke, all at sea again. Eve hay
j got to make sure of foreign good
e and | suppose that is really the onl
o way to protect them. If we didn
. do that, we wouldn't have anythin
e but : but those things that-that W
. seemed to be able to-to -"
a "To what?" asked Mr.. Spoopen
dyke, seeing that his wife was bs
Is ginning to wander, and pouncin.
IS down on ner. "Don't hesitate t
It explain yourself. There's no me
# nopoly of the idiocy let loose on thi
a question"
y "Well," continued Mrs. Spoopen
J, dyke, thus encouraged. "lf
i wasn't for the tariff we'd only hav
# American things, and in that cas-
the Republicans would win ever.
e election"
# "Did that big intellect of your
!, extract that position from my ex
!, .planatisn p yelled Mr.. Spoopen
7 dvke who prided himself on th
lnciditv with which he general,
| put things. "Can't you understan'
. that the Democrats want to pu
8 down the tariff so goods will com