The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
LhaAhaUh GhaHhaAhaBhaLhaE.

never met fractious goat.
Especially when the field was wide,
But what ached for many a day,
And always on the butte side.
Philadelphia Call,
Doctors, as II rule, do not have much
to say about cremation. The work
Of the doctor ends with the death of
the patient.-New Orleans Picayune.
His lost opportunity-"I don't think
| shall go rowing with you again,
soon" "Why not, pray?" Because
you only hugged the shore"-I
Judge.
"Hold your temper" is good advice
but there are little women with so
much temper that their small bodies
are quite inadequate to hold it.-Cin-
cinnati Saturday Night.
"Times are pretty hard. Almost
everybody is cramped."
~ don't wonder tit. Vatermelons
have came down to FIVE cents piece"
-Siftings.
There was q young lady in Kent
Who sat on pin that was bent;
She gave such yell,
That the church steeple fell,
Upon this young lady in Kent.
Exchange
"The editor of Punch is paid $4,000
a year"-$l 900 for writing jokes and
$4,000 for proping them up with ital-
ic, parentheses, brackets, dashes, and
otherwise explaining them. tits none
to much, either-Norristown Herald.
Mis- Lulu Hurst's power Of making
men do as she pleases is only wonder
ful in the method of its application.
The power itself has been a speciality
with the fair sex ever since Eve whee-
died Adam into taking bite of that
apple.-Wilmington Star.
"Why is it that they are all good
men who are guilty of these bank de-
falcations?" asked a lady the other
day.
Because bad men never get the
chance to steal anything" was the re-
ply.-Exchange.
"Has George proposed yet, En-
ily"
"No ma, but he asked me the next
thing to it last night"
"What did he do?"
"He asked me if | thought paragon
ic injurious to teething Children
Elk.
There is a woman out in Michigan
who has had nineteen children in the
past twenty-five years, and the Other
women of the town have organized ar
Indignation club with the motto
Down with MISUNDERSTANDING
ton Free Press.
She went to the roller-skating rink,
And put the sliders on;
strap or two about her shoe.
And then she's off and gone.
She slid, she slode, she glid, she glod,
Unheld by fear or fetter.
But at last the gentle maid was 'throwed,
And the roller-skates upset her
Exchange
| After careful study of several hun
dred newspapers, we have arrived a
the conclusion that if all the state
that are promised to Cleveland Civ
him their votes and each state tina
Blaine is sure of gives it's vote to tina
candidate, both Blaine and Clevelan
will be elected by avery large majority
Puck.
"Pa, what is the Tammany Ha
they're talking about?"
"Oh, that's John Kelly and hi
crowd"
"But where docs the 'halP com
in"
That's what John would like t
know"
"What?"
"Where the haul comes in. ."-Chici
cago News.
,, "Ah, my dear Miss Annie, how d
you like the cut of my haiahH" draw
ed a sandpapered young blood to
bright Walnut Hill girl.
: "Well, MIR. Witless, really, no
since you ask me, I'll tell you, tina
while ! don't always like such sho
/, hair, in your case do like it, for.it
: so nicely cut to match"
~ don't quite comprehend, Mi
Annie. Match what?"
"Your brains, of course. "-Ex.
4 Plantation Philosophy.
|. 1t amt the man whut reads de nc
G dat thinks ne mos. 1t amt de pu
; son whut eats de mos. dat's dc stron
T. es'.
De pusson whut deber hated nobot
amt apt ter lub nobody. Warm W
;. ter amt good ter scald wild norquen'
thirst.