The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1884-02-16
THE MILWAUKEE BAD BOY.
He FIightens His Pa With Supernatural
NoIses-Talks About Making
Money by Failing.


ilege Of selecting the weapons, as they
do in duel. Now, oranges are liable to
give you the winter cholera, and if they
did, l would be liable for damages, but
you take this smoked herring and eat it,
and | will take the chances" and the
groceryman unloaded the boys pockets
and handed him the herring.
Dear me, what freehearted old fell
low you are" said the boy, as be took Off
his mitten and began pealing the herring.
"lIere, you'd better take back the head
and skin Of this herring and give me a
cracker, and then | will tell you what
brave man pa is"
Tell me about your pa. l haven't
heard anything from him for long time"
said the groceryman as he handed the
boy the cracker, and sat down on half
bushel measure by the stove.
'Well, you see, last night we got to
talking about haunted houses, and pa
said there was no such thing as haunted
house. He said whenever any unusual
noise was heard in house, instead of in
vestigating it, people got scared and went
around talking about the house being
haunted, and before long every body be-
lieved it, the reputation of the house was
ruined, and everybody was nervous. Pa
said that haunted houses was on par
with spiritualism, and people of sense
never took any stock in either, lie said
if ever heard of haunted house to let
him know and he would 60 through it
and investigate it in the dark. thought
to myself, boss. You can't fool Hennery,'
and | laid for pa. That evening my
chums cat came over to visit our cat,
and when it was time to go to bed the
two cats were sleeping by the stove, and
pa told me had better put the cats out
doors aid 60 to bed. So took the cats
up carefully and raised up the cover of
! the piano, and laid the cats down in the
back side of the instrument, among the
! to sleep. and shut down the cover, and
we all went to bed. Pa and ma sleep
right over the parIor, and sleep at tue
| back of the house.
| Along about two o'clock in the morn
ing, about the time the cats usually get
woke up and begin to prowl around, there
strings, aud yoWl, that sounded as
though it Came from the sewer. 1t was
evidently music, such as you set at
boarding houses where boarder prac-
| tees on the piano for her board. | list
ened and pretty soon there was two
nous and spit, and the strings acted
as though they were being walked on
the way cat does when she puts her
paws up in your lap and lets her tsenails
! go through your pants. | got up and
went to pas room, and ma was setting
up in bed with her nightcap off, her hair
standing right up straight, and she was
trying to get pa to raise up and listen,
but it wash t pas mis- Int to listen, and he
| put his head under the bed clothes and
tried to snore, but knew pa was scared.
| told pa that | wasn't afraid but
wished that he would let me sleep on the
lounge in his room, and pa raised up and
wanted To know what the row was, and
| just then the cats i'll the piano seemed to
have come together for their regular
evening fight, aud of all the music you
ever heard, that beat everything. Ia
listened and said somebody next door
was trying to play opera, but ma said
something was in the house, and | told
pa the house was haunted. aad Tor him
to get up and investigate. Pa was kind
of 'shamed to be afraid, So he got up,
and all was still and he got his pants on
aud went out in the hall. and Just then
the cats got to lighting another round,
and pa rushed into the bath room aid
closed the door, and yelled for me to
open the window and boiler for the
police. | got up and asked pa, through
the door, if he was afraid and lie said no,
he wasn't afraid but he thought. seeing
he was in the bathroom he would take a
bath, and told him if lie was afraid
would go down and investigate, because
there was no haunted house that had any
terror for IIennery. and I went down aud
let the cats out, and they got on the
back fence and had a real social time,
and after it was all still pa came out with
a fowl in his hand and tried to make us,
believe he had taken a bath at o'clock
in the morning with cold water. don't
think it is right for Il father to try to de-
ceive his little boy that way. Pa must
have washed himself real hard, for he
was as pale as & ghost when he came out
o. the bath room. but he was paler still
in the morning when he found the piano
full of cat hair. He thinks the air from
the register blew into the piano. But
am sorry for pa, as he had trouble
enough trying to keep from failing, but
he had to go to the WALL
What. You don't tell me your father
has faled?" said the grocery man, as he
took down the ledger. Great heavens,
he owes me seven dollars and the man
groaned.
"Yes, pa says that is the only way he
eau make dollar. | don't know any
thing about the business of failing, but
as near as can get at it, by hearing pa
and his attorney talk about it, there is
money in it, if it is worked right, and if
was in your place | would work an
annual failure department into your
business. The way to fail is to get
credit for all you can, and sell for cash,
and when you sell the best things, have
somebody that you owe, a relative, Or a
fellow that you got confidence in, get on
his ear and ret out an attachment and
close you mp, Or else make an assign
ment to a fellow who stands in with you |
and let him offer the creditors ten cents |
on "a dollar in notes, payable i'll six,
twelve, and eighteen months. BY the |
time six m"u,hs are up, you can buy the
first note for fifty cents IN a dollar, and
comes due Pa says there is more money
in it than in running bank, and he is
awful anxious to have the thing fixed
up in time for him and ma to go to
Florida for the winter, SO they can get
hack in time to 90 to SARATOGA nayt |