The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-10-21
PIOUS PRATTLE.
a Return to the Old Paths with a
Few Closing Remark from
Deacon Dinwiddie.

The preachers have gone. The yellow
legged chickens have lowered their zoos
and breathe easier. The sons can now 90
home and sleep on their accustomed beds
In place of forging in third story sttics
down town.
The girls N sgain wear their eewgaws
anil ribbons and be not afraid of criticism.
The old man can talk politics and dis
pense with the usual morning BLESSING and
take chew of "Star" befc re he leaves the
table. -o
The preachers have moved out.
lne maIroH OF the house wishes they
were here all the time, as it has such a
civil GIN Ell ct upon thd whole family" ga
Jlm has rot cussed any since they arrived
and has not told sister she WAS fool.
"Doggone thss cat that was ON
my roof last night in the Ofield
block" said Uncle Charlie. who
had teen driven away ON account
OF the PREACHERS. when they come again
1 will move my boarding house" said the
speaker 10 hi, sister, the mstron of the
house.
The last preacher took his leave Est
night, but one good old deacon from Sa-
line county who did not like to travel on
Sunday will stay until tomorrow as he is
well ted at West Sedslia home. full of
luxury and pleas ant fsce..
Deacon DlnwIddie came down town last
night in ord To get shaved, as his favor
lie bar, ey mad tclI him be would not again
let him In the back d, or Sunday morning.
and in the barber shop sat down next to a
BAZoo reporter.
Well, Deacon" said the reporter. 81
suppose you enjoyed the feast Of spiritua,
pleasures which have been so IayishIy
poured out in the past few days7
Cart say that L have, young man."
lott believe In the dJcrines then fellows
preach, an its mo- pleasure for NE to sit and
listen to scripture twisted oU, of all
neanin.'"
But there wasn't any docfrinal sermons
eacOn"
Well, it makes 40 difference to me,
hey was here plannin' for the spread OF
heir doctrines and that, the same thing. /
ont believe IN eucouragin' these pervert-
rs Of the Bible"
still. deacon, you recognizs them as
rethren, don't you? And as such
Ouldn't you hold sweet communion with
lem? %
Now, young man, just let me tell you
'me things. All this talk about sweet
as you call il, an brotherly
I'VE, an' dwellin' together in heavenly pIa-
IS, and Christian union look mighty well
D paper, an sounds mighty nice from the
ulpit, but there's lots of pious fraud an
Ownright hypocrisy about il. They don't
ean half what they say. Ju.t lock as il
here's two sorts of Methodis;s in this
,wn, and three sorts of Presby teriars, and
ley hain't got gr ee enough in b. tn Meth
ii,t churches to get together an make
ne body, and IFS Just the same
ith tue Northern and Southern
churches. don't
now much about The Cumberland
ow there's the Bsptists. They brother
Ie right along, but when it comes to eatin
n drinkiu' at the Lords table, they Just
hut me on the outside, although bots. of
IN cat at my table. They Say I'm chris
an, and all that, but they don't care to go
D heaven with me unless I've been ander
alter and joined their church. Ssme way
i:h the Christian church, while the
plscopals just think they own
lie only through line to PARADISE
n you mus: ride on their cars or you'll
Ot get there. L guess the Lord will have
} fence off heav n int lots so that these
ear brethren won't be compelled to min
e toge' her when they get there. Now
Re truth is, every man is for his own
iurch first, last sn' all the time, an he
on't care hut precious little about the
elfsre of The other crowd. There wasn't
Nv denominations In PsuPs day, bu
eyre gettiu' awful thick these times
"Ain't you like the rest of the Chris
ans?"
"S'p' Sc / am; | know my church is
ght an the others away off on many
ripturil points, an sm for the truth"
"Are you suprslspssrian or an =
pssriau ?" asked the reporter.
mo, sir, I'm Methodist, an holl to
,hn W.siey's teachin's, right straight
rough"
"Whai's the matter with Christ. Dea-
% ?"
Bot the barbe- shouted Next and the
aeon got into the chair,