davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-08-06
"With Verdure Clad.''
[From the Louisville Commercial. ]

the LOUISVILLE COMMERCIAL
A well known physician on West
Market Street has q pet monkey. It is
one of those cute, miscellaneous monk
eys, always monkeying with everything
it can get its clutches on. A few days
ago Jocko got hold of a brush and can
of green paint. Securing a mirror, he
sat down in front of it and painted him
self a beautiful olive green from his
head to the tip of his tail. The doctors
wife, as soon as she made the discovery,
hurried to neighboring drug store and
procured pint OF turpentine. Taking
the monkey in her lap she saturated
him thoroughly with the iqui He
stood the operation heroically until the
turpentine began to soak into the roots
of his tail. Then, with one wild bound
and horrible screech, he sprung about
fifteen feet into the air and struck on
the kitchen floor. Then he scaled the
side of brick house, up to the roof,
over chimney tops, along telegraph
wire, down a pole, and went tearing
around the block as though pursued by
cyclone. Returning to the house, he
made war upon the doctor, for whom,
by the way, he hasn't much love, and
before the contest ended the doctors
left hand was badly lacerated. The
doctor offers $25 to anybody who will
steal the monkey.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-08-06

The lowered cashmere receded from
the left shoulder.
Aunt Betsy paused and gave a
scream.
"Rebecca Ruffitl" she cried.
"Oh, what is it, Aunt Betsy asked
Mrs. Rufit. sam I turning black?"
"Look!" cried Aunt Betsy. "Why,
Rebecca Rufit, you've put your double
gown on over your new dress. No
wonder you felt queer"
"Why, how did I come to do such a
thing?" gasped Mrs. Ruffit in amaze
ment. / must have taken my nap in
it, toow
She peeled off the double gown in
double-quick time.
She had nothing to say except:
"No wonder I feel stuffyv"
There was nobody to blame and
nothing to do but to make it up with
Aunt Betsy, who accorded gracious
forgiveness and retired meekly; but
up in her own room she INDUCED her
self in little burst of triumph:
Tisn't me that's made fool OF
myself" she said ungrammatically as
she tied her nightcap and blew out
the candle;" and that's some comfort,
ANYHOW"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-08-06
To Cure Round Shoulders.
Letter in the New York Tribune. I

Letter In the new YORK Ir1Dune.l
More than thirty years ago I got a
habit of being round shouldered. In
trying to find remedy, the following
plan, which grew out of my knowledge
of anatomy, came in sight: Hook the
fingers of the hands together; raise the
elbows as high as the shoulders and
pull like a shoemaker. The muscles
about the shoulder-blades, to keep them
in place, are thus strengthened, and in
short time enabled to fulfill their
proper Office. While lying on the back
press the head on the pillow so as to
raise the chest up from the bed on
which you are reclining. This strength
ems the muscles that should hold the
head erect. When standing or sitting,
where the head can press against some
thing solid, repeat the operation. By
little thought at other times to use
hese muscles, the difficulty may be
overcome.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-08-06
How Butler was Fired.
[From the Cincinnati Sum-

lFrOm the OInc1nnau SUM-
Said MIR. Harry Bynner, the brother
of the Boston magazine writer, E. L..
Bynner, yesterday: "Old Ben Butler
once met his match when I was living
at Boston. Adjt.-Gen. .Schouler was
then alive, and was editing the Boston
Courier. Benjamin E. had been trying
a case in court, and abused one of the
witnesses most shamefully. One of the
staff of the Courier happened to hear
Ben's assault on the witness and he
wrote up a scathing account. In the
morning Ben walked into the Courier
editorial rooms and demanded of
Schouler if he wrote the article. The
Adjutant General replied that he did
not. Then Ben wanted to know who
did, and Mr.. Schoular replied that it
was not customary to give the names of
authors of articles, that the paper was
responsible, and that he was the
editor
Then small man slipped up and said !:
Mr.. Butler, you want to know who
wrote that article?" #-s 4n..s
81 do" said Ben.
well, [ did; I was present in court
and@every word of it is true"
II shall hold you responsible, sir"
and Ben proceeded to draw rawh1de.
and grabbed for the small man, when
two typos, both perfect giants, grabbed
the cock-eyed son of destiny and hus-
tied him into the street, and, as one of
the biggest let go his hold at the foot of
the steps, he elevated his knee into a
portly part of the generals adiposity.
The general was very mad.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-08-06
THE DEACoN's PRAYER.
BY w. o. STODDARD.

In the regular evening meeting
Thatthe church holds every week,
One night a listening angel sat
To hear them pray and speak.
It puzzled the soul of the angel
Why some to that gathering came,
But sick and sinful hearts he saw,
With grief and guilt af1ame,
They were silent, but said to the angel,
'Our lives have need of Him.
While doubt, with duh, vague throbbing
pain,
Stirred through their spirits dim.
You could see twas the regular meeting,
And the regular seats were filled,
And all knew who would pray and talk,
Though any one might that W1lled.
From his place in front, near the pulpit,
In his long accustomed way,
When the Book was read and the hymn was
sung,
The Deacon arose to pray.
First came the long preamble
If Peter had opened so,
He had been, ere the Lord his prayer had
heard,
Full fifty fathoms below.
Then q volume of Information
Poured forth, as if to the Lord,
Concerning His ways and attributes,
And the things by Him abhorred,
But not in the line of the latter
Was mentioned the hooking breath
Or the hypocrite prayer that is not prayer,
And the make-believe life in death.
Then he prayed for the church and the pas
tor,
And that ''souls might be his hire
Whatever his stipend otherwise
And the Sunday school, and the choir
And the swarming hordes of India,
And the perishing, vile Chinese,
And the millions who bow to the Pope OF
Rome,
And the pagan churches of Greece,
And the outcast remnant of Judah,
OF whose guilt he had much to tell;
he prayed, or he told the Lord he prayed,
For everything out of hell.
Now, II all that burden had really
Been weighing upon his soul,
IWould have sunk him through to the China
side
And raised a hill DER the hole.
Twas the regular evening meeting,
Ana the regular prayers were made,
But the listening angel told the Lord,
That only the silent prayed.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-08-06

JAMES GORDON BENNETT will spend
August in Newport.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07
+Mining."

mining is an exciting business
said an old pros pector. There is a
sort of hopeful inspiration about it. thai
when a miner puts in a shot his hopes
may be forever blasted as well as the
rock, or it may be the result of disclos.
ing riches that will encourage him tc
still pursue the downward course with
bright expectations of striking rich pay
While the various other occupations mar
may follow are different, there is a
chance in the dim future that the miner
may revel in all the luxuries that wealth
can give. The illustrations that have
been given us in the past prove that any
man who follows mining continuously
may ut some time make strike.
1.-The history OF the bonanza kings
for the last thirty years is that they
were one day poor, and they did not get
their riches because they were smarter
than others. but simply through what is
sometimes called dumb luck There
is fascination about mining that when
. man once gets started he never like:
to stop until be makes . raise, and
even then some viii not stop until the
either double their money or lose it all.
Mining is . business in which more
money can be made in . shorter time
than any other. A man will make
when he least expects, and will lose in
the same manner. A man should know
something of the business. and by being
careful. using good judgment, the
chances are not so great to lose, but
every chance to gain. "-Denpes
Tribune.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07
The RoAt for Butter.

There Is but one best color for butter, and
that that is Wells, Richardson & Co.'s I'm
proved Butter Color, no candid inveSti-
gator doubts. 1t is the best butter color in
The world; is free from sediment or inn
purity, always ready for instant uss, and
it imparts to butter that rich dandelion
yellow, without q tinge of red, which is the
acme Of desirability in any butter color
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07
When Doctors Disagree

it will he time enough to doubt the relia.
bility of Kidney Wort. Doctors all agree
that it is q most valuable medicine in all
disorders of the Liver, Kidneys and
Bowels. and frequently prescribe it. DR..
P. c. Ballou, Of Aonkton, says: /" The past
with the best results. It is the most sue
cessful remedy have over used" Such q
recommendation speaks for itself. Sold
by all druggists. See advt.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07
THE GIRL IN MOURNING.
A SUDBURY BALLAD.

A SUDBURY BALLAD.
"A simple child, dear brother Jim.
That lightly draws its breath
And feels its life in every limb
What can IT know of DEATH"
-WordswOrth.
asked a little simple child,
That wore black ribbons on her head,
Whom she was mourning for. She smiled,
And mentioned that her aunt was dead.
Where did your aunt reside, my dear?
" She had been feeble more'n a year.
And last Thanksgiving Day she died:
And she died of the shocanum' palsy"
My heart within began to melt
A sudden teardrop forced its way.
You say your aunt in Marlborough dwelt,
And died upon Thanksgiving Day;
But what your aunt died of, my dear,
did not fully understand.
" Well, she was sick about a year
She had the ringworm on her hand:
But she died of the shocanum palsy"
What sort of palsy, love? said i,
That name never heard before.
This was my little maids reply:
i've told you twice, and won't no more -
prithee, sweetest, once again,
What was II killed your suffering aunt?
She answered: IL will tell you, then;
But if you ask again, ! shan't;
She died of the shOcanum palsy"
Happy condition, not to know
More than this child of diving
Lamb-1ike to see your kin laid low,
Without a Thought of signing.
This creature knew no more of grief
But the black ribbon on her head;
Nor of paralysis-in brief
She only knew her aunt was dead,
And died of the 'shocanum palsy"
"Shock o numb palsy" an old-fashioned
FORM or speech in New England, to distin-
guish paraplcgia or hemiplegia from shaking
palsy"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07
Rhe.n.tlsn Quickly Cured.

There has never boon . medicine for
fheupaatism introduced in the United States
that has given such universal satisfaction
Is Durang's Rheumatic Remedy. 1t stands
out alone rs the one great remedy that act
ually cures this dread disease. It is taken
Internally, and never has and never can
fail TO cure tho worst case in the shortest
time. 1t is sold bv every druggis1 at 81.
Write for free forty page pamphlet to R K.
HELPHENsrINE, Druggist, Washington, D. c.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07
A Messenger OF Health.

Sent free to sufferers from nervous,
chronic and blood diseases, brain and heart
affections, nervous debility, exhaustion,
etc., who have failed to find relief. It tells
Of wonderful cures effected by DR.. SCOTS
Coca, Beef and Iron, with Phosphorus.
Sold by druggists; 81. DR.. Scott, Kansas
City, Mo. Ask your druggist for pamphlet.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

FROM B. F. LIEPsNER, A. NJ, Red Bank,
N. j.: have been troubled with Catarrii
so badly for several years that it seriously
affected my voice. tried DR.. -'s rem
edy without the slightest relief. One bot.
tie of Ely's Cream Balm did the work. My
voice is fully restored and my head feels
better than for years. B. F. LIEPsNER.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

"Buchu-paiba." Quick, complete cure, all
annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseases, 81.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

Relying on testimonials written In vivid
glowing language of some miraculous cures
made by some largely pulled up doctor OF
patent medicine has fastened thousands to
their graves; believing In their almost IN
sane fifth that the same miracle will b
performed on them, and that these testi-
monials make tht cures, while the so called
medicine is all the time Fastening them to
their graves We have avoided publishing
testimonials, as they do not mako the cures,
although we have
THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS
Of them, of the most wonderful cures, vol
UNFAIRLY sent US. 1t is our medicine, Hop
Bitters, that makes the cures. 1t has newer
failed and never can. We will give refer
their own il desired, or will refer to any
neighbor, as there is not neighborhood in
the known world but can show its cures by
Hop Bitters.
A LOSING JOKE.
A prominent physician of Pittsburgh jokfngiy said
tinaed Il health. and Of his ih.binty to cure her.
nsed the Btcrs, from which s6e Obtained pernsneni
health She now laughs at the doctor for h joke but
patient.
FEES OF DOCTORS.
The fee of doctors is an item that very
many persons are interested in. We be-
lieve the schedule for visits is $500, which
would tax man confined to his bed for 3
year, and in need of q daily visit ovek
1000 year for medical attendance alonel
And one single bottle Of Hop Bitters taken
in time would save the $1,000 and all the
year s sickness.
ALADY'S WISH.
"Oh, how do wish my skin was as clear and
soft as yours" said q lady to her friend. "You
can easily make 1t So" answered the friend.
I" HOw?' inquired the first lady. by using
Hop Bitters that makes pure, rich blood and
blooming health. 1t did IL for me, as you OBJ
serve"
GIVEN UP By THE DOCTORS.
&c Is it possible that Mr.. Godfrey is up ana
at work, and cured by so simple remedyT'
/" 1 assure you it is true that he is entirely
cured, and with nothing but Hop Bitters,
and only ten days ago his doctors gave him
up and said he must die, from Kidney and
Liver trOubler'
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

REDDING'S Russia Saive is the most wonder
tul healing medium in the world. Try it.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

NOT n costly medicine-25 doses Piso's
Cure for Consumption for % cents.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

DR.. B. F. LAUGHLIN, Glide, Kan, writes {:
I" Samaritan Nerrine cures fits"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

WHEN . girl proposes and is refused she
can always explain to her friends that
she was just having little leap-year fun
CIerp10nd Hpr0Id
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

"Rough on Corns." 15c. Ask for it. Com
plete cure, crd or soft corns, warts, bunions.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

IT is said that the peculiar sunsets are
caused by the sun trying to set blythe new
standard time.-MiddlebOr Ne,cs.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A NEIGHBoRING grocer advertises aspiring
chickens all the year round" He shows a
little too much NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Herald.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

mother Swans Worm Syrup" for few
worms, constipation, tasteless. 25c
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A GREAT many Americans swagger about
in an aroma of exceedingly brittle vanity.
EDITORS Easy Chair, H0rper's.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A CHARITY BAwL-" Gimme ton cents ter
buy er loaf er bread with"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

IT speaks well for Michigan thai lect-
urer was allowed to attain the age Of one
hundred and eight in that State.-Topeka
Lance
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

UP to snuff-pepper, il you merely wish
20 make some one sneez,.-Erchdnge.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

Skinny Men. "Wells' Health Remover" re-
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, 81.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

Trough on Coughs, 15c.. at Druggists. Com
,lete cure Coughs, Hoarseness, Sore Throat.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

"oH, yes" said Smythekins' wife, who
i regular theater-goer, "Mr. McJones
kA0vs all about psintings. He is quite .
Cennis Soogsh."LN ]. Graphic.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

Mrs. BRowN-"Aud so your husband
lost his leg. Isn't it awfulw Wife-"You
may we'll say It. And II was only last
week that he bought q new pair of boots
pair, Mrs. wn."-BOstOn Transcript.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

eral years, which had eaten away his under
lip and the inside of his cheek, down to the
bottom Of his gums. We got some Of Swift's
Specific and gave him, and the effect has
been wOnderful-almost miraculous. The
sores are all healed, and he is perfectly
we'll. Every one here said it was only a
ques ion of time about his death, and his
cure has created the greatest excitement in
South Easton, Mass, Jan. I, 1884.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

"WHEN We say that Samaritan Ncrrinc cures
rheumatism. we mean it. "-FriscO journal.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

If the eyes were really windows to the
heart, green goggles would become ex.
.remely fashionable. Whitehall Times.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

Dox'r think, young man, that just be-
.anss It II leap-year you are going to be
snapped up right away. The girls want
. chance to look before they leap.-Lo,seU
rewjeT.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

ELEVEN bit factories are at work in one
Connecticut town. This augers we'll for
nnecticut.-LouisriHe COmrier-JOurnnl.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

Hale's Honey OF Horehound and Tar
Wards of the grip of pneumonia. Pixies
toothache drops cure in one minute.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

AN ornithologist has discovered that to
have an appetite proportional to that of a
robin . man would have to devour daily q
string Of sausages sixty-seven feet long
O. link" Of himself, in fact.-Boston Cour.
ier.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

~ UNDERSTAND they are getting up an
the other day. "But they needn't ex-
pect me to loan 'em anything. Last year
the clumsy things broke an arm of my
venus de Medicine and then had the
cheek to tell me it was that way at first.
just as though was foolish enough to pay
$4,000 for a second hand stattoo-the
idea !''-BOstOn Herald.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

Mr.. PETER MALLEN, 2l2 W. Twenty
fourth St., n. Y, says that he suffered six
years with Rheumatism and found no relief
until st. Jacobs Oil. the sovereign remedy,
was applied, which cured him completely.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A VERY centsible necklace comes in with
the new year. It made of new nickels. A
necklace of this kind would have been q
good present for st. NicEel-us to give, but
it's too late to think of that now.-Detroit
Free Press.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A PATENT has been grs~ated In w ashing-
ton for "hen's nest" Tho only wonder
is that somebody has not got patent on
the hen.-PnIddelphid Coil
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A MAN in New York has brought suit
against the Manhattan Railroad Company
for the loss of an eve. He asks for $5J 900.
The eye dear!-BOstOn Post.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

WHEN q young woman is in love she
turns TO the poets corner first on picking
up the local paper. After she is married
she turns drst to the advertisements of the
dry-goods store.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A BAD man shows his bringing up wh'
he is brought up by a polio. MANY. o.
Picdvune
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

IT is very bad taste for a wife to growl
at her husband for tracking mud into tho
house, for what is home without its mud.
der-DetrOi Post
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

HWell Dressed People don't wear
dingy or faded things when the 10c. and
guaranteed Diamond Dye will make them
good as new. They are perfect. Get at
druggists and he economical. Wells, Rich
ardson & Co., Burlington, VT.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

N"ShOck o numb palsy" an old-fashioned
form of speech in New England to distin-
guish paraplcgia or hemiplegia from shaking
palsy"
n u PdrsOns in Boston Trnnscrinf
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

SPICER says that 1.-THE buzz saw does
business with curious people in an off-hand
vay."-N. Y Netcs.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

The COMBINATION OF INGREDIENTS used
in making BROwN's BRONCHIAL TROcHEs
is such as to give the best possible effect
with safety. They are the best remedy in
use for Coughs, and Throat Diseases.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07


heads as it came sweeping over from
the other side; all broug hit swift sense
of their own powerlessness as against
the appalling forces of nature. which
weighed down and discouraged them
drearily.
One by one they crawled up the fear
full winding way. Not one had heart
to speak or breath to spare. Even min
utes seem long in time and place like
this, and it seemed an age before they
saw the top. and, oh, how long before
they reached it.
They had hitherto been warm enough.
But when they turned the summit the
cold west wind chilled them through.
There was no snow falling, but the wind
was driving and swirling the recent
snow in small cyclones of arctic horror
around their shrinking forms. In a
moment they had abandoned every
hope.
There was no Bill Lewis there.
There was no council held; there was
no time for that; but instinctively every
man rushed forward for some slight
shelter. Onward they went, at times
easily and rapidly over the hard. old
snow, and then struggling through deep
drifts, until, some half mile from the
summit. they saw something dark in
the snow ahead.
1t could be nothing else. But were
they alive or dead?
Good, faithful Bslaam! no man shall
abuse thee more! Brave Bill Lewis!
Thy sins be forgiven thee!
Bill had worked his way up from the
cabin by tramping the snow in front of
Balaam, a hundred feet at time, and
going over the ground several times, I'M
til the animal could pass through, and
then repeating for another hundred feet.
This he had done in biting blast and
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-07

A simple child, dear brother Jim,
That lightly draws its breath
And feels its life in every limb
What can II know of DEATH