The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-02-21
THE BLESSED BABY.
An Open Letter from al Old Boy to q
Young One.

| DEAR EZRA: When that baby yo,
speak Of arrives, prepare to take bacl
seat. Take it gracefully, and occupy i
without 3 murmur, for it is the only ont
you will ever get. You have doubtless
| made your own plans about tho way il
! which your first child shall be brought
up-all prospective fathers do this. Dc
not be surprised to discover that yor
have nothing whatever to do With the
performance, but that you are to be
| merely spectator, and from back seal
at that The child is going to be reared
by your wife and your wife's relative,
and your wifs's old nurse and the family
doctor. Don't forget this, or you may
fnd yourself in trouble. The counter.
| ance of your wife's mother will seem
perpstually to say to you: You git out F
The nurse and doctor will remind you
that they have brought up hundreds Of
babies before you were oven thought Of
and that you had better keep your little
suggestions to yourself.
You have decided, for one thing, that
your baby shall be plainly dressed-none
of this wicked e1trayagance of laces and
embroidery for you. How chagrined
you will be when you see the gorgeous
"outfts" that have been smuggled into
the house while you were away at your
business. Then, too, there will be the
presents which pour in from friends-a
custom of which you never heard and
for which YOU made no allowance.
Worst shoes are easy to make, and
every mail will bring them TO you from
all noints Of the compass. The joke OF
it is, they will all fiji A girl thirteen
years old can knit pair of pink shoes
for q babe still unborn that will fit as
perfectly as those contributed by the
septuagsnarian mother of fifteen chill
dren. Yes. you may be too poor to pay
your rent, but you will see your baby
riding proudly through the streets in its
own carriage, and covered with an array
of ribbons and spangles and crochet
work which will make the glittering Co.'S
tune of the circus monkey look pale.
You have determined also that your
child shall not be rocked. "When it
cries." you say, "lay it down and let it
have the cry out; just ~ easy to train q
child ono way as the other. II it is to
be rocked and handled and walked with
every time it screams, the whole family
will soon be bond slaves. Let VI have
no cradle in this house and no springs
on our baby wagon |" Here, again, pre-.
pare yourself for ignominious defeat.
You will have cradle with lovely
canopy and Ay-net, and the little car.
riage will have bounding springs, and
your infant will be rocked on the tree.
top and trotted to Boston to buy = loaf
of the staff Of life, just like all its pre-
decessors. When you ask who is going
to do the rocking and promenading at
midnight and at cock Growing and with
a baby weighing twenty pounds, there
will be an ominous silence which means
that you yourself have been selected for
that duty. The nurse has told your wife
that that's all yu're good forl
When you see the baby smothered in
worsted jackets, shawls and afghans, per.
spring like trotting horse and gasping
for breath, don't even venture to suggest
that it has too many clothes on. or
course you don't know the saving quail.
ties of pinning blankets, knit shirts and
flannel blankets; and probably you
never heard that the child would die in.
stantly if flannel wasn't kept over its
stomach. 1t ia only out Of pity for your
ignorance that the nurse doesn't knock
you down.
When your wife says the baby is
laughing, dou't dispute her, whether you
can see the laugh or not. Only females
can tell when baby laughs, or interpret
its other complex expressions. If you
take hand in tho business you will be
set down for a fool. Don't try it. In
tho nursery you must be all things to all
women.
Prepare to dress yourself in the bath
room, receive your friends in the hall,
and to 20 to the barn when you want to
smoke. Your own room will gradually
assume the appearance of something be-.
tween drug store and diet kitchen.
When you 70 out of it In tho morning it
is we'll to be equipped for the day, as you
may not be readmittcd until bedtime.
If you go back to change your cuffs, the
chances are that you mill find the door
locked and . chorus of female voices
will inform you that you can't come in
because the baby is being bathed. Even
when you are allowed to enter, there is
danger that the buriy nurse will hustle
you out again, whispering into your car
that the baby has got to be Changed
whatever that may mean. Bathing and
changing will keep you in almost con.
a4nnt ax;la Rafnra xnur child uata intn