The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-06-14

yourseif easy With the immortal gsNss.
by paying your landlady every Satur-
day and keeping even with your tailor.
You may never be the Washington cor
respondent of a society paper. but then
your hair won't turn white in the ago
nized effort to explain what it is about a
senator's wife, who has red hair,
frcekles. no upper teeth, hair wart on
her nose. and twang in her shrill
vote, that s'makes her so be-
witcl.ingly beautiful and univcr-
sally admired" just be diligent in
your own business, and wait in patience
for the reward of your diligence. 1t
may be a little slow in coming. The
mills of the gods grind slowly, so does
hand-organ on the Last Rose of
Summer stop, but il always gets there.
And don't pay more for the reward than
the reward is worth. A man who lives
on twenty-nine cents day will be apt
to die wealthy. but he won't die very
fat 1t is the liberal soul that shall be
made fat.
AND HAVE ONE TO MIND.
Again. my hearers, YOU will observe
that the exaltation is promised the man
who is diligent in business. Then
man or woman who labors diligently
for years, until the ability to write
forty-four chapters of the Bible on
postal card does not stand before Kings
because that sort of thing isn't bust
ness. The man who spends all his life
trying to invent perpetual motion
machine has nothing to do with bust
ness. The Inventor so to speak. of
The Kelley motor will not stand before
Kings; he will not even stand before
his own stockholders, although they
have often tried to get behind him.
The man who is diligent in construct
ing one hundred and nine sentences
and three hundred and fourteen words
out of "Constantinople" will not stand
anywhere save at the head of the
spelling class. and even there he is in
danger of denunciation and overthrow
by the "speling reirm acociachin."
The man who diligently educates his
feet until he can waltz an hour aud
seventy-eight minutes without stopping.
does rot stand before Kings, because
las snow in summer, and as rain in har-
vest. SO honor is not seemly for a man
who wears his brains in his shoes.
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS.
II seems to me, beloved, that the sue
cess of the dilligent people who stand
before Kings of various degree. is in a
measure due to their successful dill
gence, and furthermore, this successful
diligence indicates the existence OF GER
tain qualities essential to success. True.
there are Captains who creep in through
the cabin windows and there are Gen
erals unfit to be Sergeants, but these
pampered pets of unjust favortism do
not ''stand" before Kings; they bow
and crouch before them. But when one
is successful in spite of adverse criticism
and sharp competition, am inclined TO
think there must be some reason for
his success. You ask me, for instance,
what is the secret of Mrs. Langtry's
success? Well, think it is her success.
But You say There are twenty girls in
Brooklyn more beautiful than She" /
don't doubt it, think there are twenty
one. And ''thcy are more gifted, and
blessed with better educationPn Yes,
know that. s'And their social position
is higher?" l should say SO, my
brother. "And they have greater his
trionic talenta" Indeed they have;
agree with you. They can act all
around her?" OF course, they can.
"And they ought to have her place on
the American stagee' Well, then, why
don't they have itP
is SUCCESS.
Verify, beloved, when people talk like
that. and often they do, begin to be-
licve that none but unsuccessful peo-
pie succeed in this county. AS |
wander up and down, the land | find |
about all the real talent and merit in |
the back seats. picking up scanty |
crumbs that fall from the grooming
tables of successful pretenders, while
the sad, voiceless spirit ofjustice sits on
the front fence and broods with a ten
der mystery over the devious ways Of |
man and the uncertain favors of tickle
fortune and pitiless fate.
UNSEEN BLUsHEs.
Scarcely village do enter but the
villagers proudly point out for my adj
miration a young man who is ''funnier"
.has ever Mark Twain dared to be.
Many of TwaiD's best Jokes, indeed,
hey assure me, were stolen bodily from
young "Funniboy.' Why, he keeps
he debating society in a roar of laugh
er all the time he is on his feet He is
called 1.-THE Artemus Ward of Gullivan
Nounty," and the Northwestern Bum
,iejohss has predicted for him future
equal to none. l have been introduced
n nearly every State in the Union. and
Usually, too, in the smaller towns, some
distance from any railroad, to ministers
# the gospel who could preach the
,oots off Mr.. Beecher who were more
original, more eloquent, possessing
seener faculty of observation and a
happier vein of humor and more fertile
md felicitous in illustration. And they
esembled MIR. Beecher, too. their
riends told me. And SO they did.
ould see that for myself They wore
oft felt hats and long hair. And in
ONE instances / learned that Mr..
,eecher resembled and copied the vii
age pastor. / have met many, very
many eloquent lecturers, without audi
noes, who could teach John B. Cough
be rudiments of temperance lecturing,
nd there they were, pegging away at
shoes, orselling dry goods,
roceries and hardware in country !,
tore, while Cough, the shallow pre-
endcr, usurped their rightful places !
n the rostrum. People have shown
ne women who could sing more divine
7 than Patti, and know plenty Of men
Tho can walk right away from Fitz-
erald.
ABUNDANT, But HARD TO FIND.
Now, believe in hidden pearls. / IL
ave no doubt the deep unfathomed I
avQa IF ocoau ora on fnI1 of thar, that j