Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-03-27
HUMOROUS.

driYing?' inquired an Austin gentleman
pointing to fiashy dressed fellow be-
hind a stylish team. Into bankruptcy
was the quick reply of bystander.
a pedagogue complimenting one of
his little pupils on his department OBJ
seryed: You are a good boy; your
mother must have taken pains to raise
you.' Yes, 1t was quite painful said
the pupil; she raised a blister every
time
A bride complained TO her husband
that she had been too busy to get off
her feet once, and that unhappy man,
who had already discovered several
'make-ups'in her construction ,exclalm-
ed, in amazement: Great heavens do
they come off, tOo7'
What is the first thing to be done in
the case OF fre?' asked Prof. Steans.
sue the insurance company promptly
answered the boy at thefoot of the class,
whose father had his home burned once
or twice.
TT isn't that l care about little
work now, said an -incorrigibly lazy
fellow, but I'm afraid if l :once begin
to earn my own living shall always
be expected to 90 it.
A Philadelphia man in sleeping car
went through terrible accident i'm
which the sleeping car rolled down an
embankment, without waking. II was
noticed ,how wever, that as the car struck
the bottom, he murmured, Don't Jane,
don't; I'll get up and start the fire.
Modern Elijah, who inclines TO be
facetious-'I'm getting to be pretty
bald amt I? Guess you'll haYe to cut
my hair for about half price hereafter,
eh?' Fonsorial artist, who is equal to
the emergency; Oh, no, sir. We always
charge double when we haYe to hunt
for the hair. fo
a book agent, who was wearing a
small piece of court-plaster on his face,
removed it while shaving, few morn
ings since, and replaced it, when his
toilet was complete. Contrary to his
usual experience, as he went about his
business during the rest of the day he
was everywhere received with smiles,
which grew broader and broader, until
at last somebody laughed III his face.
Led by this to look in the glass, he was
somewhat taken aback to discover that
instead of the plaster he had affix-
ed to his face little, round, printed
label, which had fallen from the back
of new mautle-clock, purchased the
day before, and which bore the inscript-
ion, Warranted solid brass
HE HAD NEVER THOUGHT OF 1T.
They had been engaged for fifteen
years, and she was now, as it wire, in
the sere and yellow leaf Darling
he said, in gentlest accents, 'our be-
trothal has been very sweet, has it not?'
1t has, it has indeed, my oWn.'
But it has been very long, don't you
think?' she asked.
Yes, it has been pretty middlin'
long, he replied.
Il was thinking, dearest, she contin-
ued, that it is nearly old enough now
to 60 out and work for its Lying.
Couldn't we have it learn a trade, or
put 1t out at interest or do something
with it SO that we might realize upon
it. 1t has been about home so long,
burning gas and coal, and is now near
ly full-grown. 1t seems like a shame
to haYe it loafing around any longer
But, my love-
And just Think she interrupted,
In six years it will have vote. I
don't care so much about it myself but
pa and ma and the rest of the family
are kicking like steer. What would
yon suggest2' x
Il am sure don't know, my pet, he
replied, helplessly. what do you
think?'
we might get married.
That's so, never thought of that
Teey are going to. be married next
THANKSGIVING. t