Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-05
BORROWED WIT.
\ sheer sign-The cobblcr's.
Fur lOng--A sealskin dolman.

Never gets water tlght-Ihe tomato
can tramp.
Proyefb for -players--A home
base is sounder than Il foreign tenor.
The under-toe accompanies foot
wave. They 20 hand in hand, SO to
speak.
An uptown landlady calls II boardcr
"Phunix," because he rises from the
hashes and flies.
Senator Plumb denies having said
that newspapers were nuisance.
\ man may say he has got the boss
wife without intimating that he is hen
pecked.
at won't do for married man to
say to his wife, ''ncver mind" She is
apt to take him at his word.
In some parts OF Kentucky water is
used for drinking purposes.
A -. Louis editor has nose which
is not bit red, and never has been.
Complaint is made that Rochester
beer is being adulterated with comets.
A storekeeper in Cincinnati cannot
talk German, and yet he has quite II
large trade.
A Boston girl was recently asked II
question in Greek, and she did not UNI
derstand it.
A New York girl has married Il
Choctaw Indian. Lo will find some one
who is up to the scalping business as
well as he
Now that square plates have become
the fashion, married men will have to
look out for the corners. 1t is bad
enough to hit with round plate.
A pusson what amt got no mussy
fur animal amt got none fur Il man
an he is only KEEP from beatin' man
case he's coward.
De puttiest wimmen is sometimes de
wurst when da gifts reused up. De
honey bee lives Il mighty sweet lite, but
oh, Lawd, what stinger he's got!
"It's an i'll wind that blows nobody
good" as the man remarked when his
wife eloped, taking his mother-in-law
with her.
The husband is called the head of
the family only by those young writers
who haven't had any experience in
married life.
About the only time man wishes he
were woman is when he has to give
up his seat to woman in a street
car.
Ella Give years old, who has broken
window)-"Papa, dear, don't beat
me; substract it rather from my
marriage dowry."
A Partisan shoemaker advertises his
ability to give expression to the foot.
A good many men can do that, and
some of them can give it very severe
expression, too.
1t has been demonstrated that any
Maid of the Mist can pass the Niagara
| whirlpool, but that's poor satisfaction
| for swimmers not built on the steam
boat plan.
I'se sorter s'pcious ob de preacher
what pretends ter despise riches an den
tries ter tempt people inter Heaben by
tellin' 'em dat de streets is paved wild
gold.
| Bartholdis statue of Liberty" will
| be put up in New York harbor early
next spring. To give it national in
terest it will wear pair of David Davis
pants and one of Senator Tabor's night
shirts.
mild winter: School Inspector
"Can you tell me of mild winter in
your recollection. my boy?" eyes, sir,
The winter of 81 was a mild one. Our
teacher was sick for six weeks during
| that term"
Visitor: What in the world il that
humping and bouncing up stairs! You
surely haven't a locksmith's shop above
you?" "Lady of the house: ooh, no I;
| that is only the actress who lives above
rehearsing her part in the drama!"
Barnum's fat woman stayed at a
| Florida Hotel for two months, and be-
ing unable to endure the scant diet any
longer, determined to leave without
paying. The landlord locked her in,
but she crawled through the keyhole
and got away.
In San Francisco the other day, the
| question, "Who was the father of his
country" was answered by onehalf of
the children, "George Washington.
The other half yelled "Denis kearney. ;"
This shows that Kearney's influence is
| declining
has heard folks say dat da could
tell smart man by lookin' in his eye,
but dis il mistake. De mole amt
| got no eye ter speak ob, but dinged if
he amt got more sense den de toad
what ken look at yer ten minutes widout
| winkin'.
A German doctor is the authority for
the statement that blowing horns will
cure consumption. Has now, con-
cumptvie, here's your cure! When
you call for horn OF beer just blow the
| froth off it. Dom I drink il.
Chryssipus, the philosopher, died
from laughter, at one of his own jokes.
Chrys. was not contributor to Lon
don comic weekly. The "didn't-know
it-was- loaded" joke is about the only
kind that kits in this country
An admirer of this paper was in the
editorial rooms this morning and showed
us curiosity in the shape OF walking
stick, which, he said, belonged to Gin
derella's grandmother. There was only