davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
Misplaced EeneyOlence.

A one-legged man stood in dark
doorway on Clark street last evening.
He leaned heavily on his crutches, and
looked weary and discouraged as he
gazed at the passing people. Presently
a tall man, with long hair and benev-
client eye, halted near by and observed
him pitingly.
There, my friend, is % cents for
yOu," said the tall man, patrOniZingly,
as he pulled a coin out of his pocket
and held it toward the one-legged man
with something of flourish.
whats it for?' inquired the de-
spondent cripple, in tone of surprise.
at will buy you supper" said the
tall man grandly. Promise me you'll
not spend it for drink"
kind of you, I'm sure" murmured
the weary one-legged man. Call here
in the morning and hand it to the cashier
or one of the clerks"
''Why, are you not -" stammered
the tall man.
mo, I'm not begging this evening"
said the cripple, quietly. II am trying to
figure out what rents to charge the ten
ants of this block of buildings next
year. Chicago NelCS.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
Credul0uS Cash ers.

The average man is more or less
credulous, as is evidenced By the sue
cessful career of numerous bands of
bInko operators that infest our large
cities, and it would appear that many
of the large banking establishments
throughout the country are also flicted
with degree of creduiity that for its
verdancy Is really refreshing. An en-
terprising individual realizing that a
confideHt air and plausible story are in
most instances the only requisite nee
essarF to insure profitable return, has
devised 4 scheme by which he has man
aged to secure a considerable sum of
money from 4 number of well regu-
lated banking establishments scattered
here and there throughout the country.
Representing himself Is an agent OF the
! Treasury department sent out for the
purpose of aScertaining the amount of
counterfeit money in circulation, this
self-delegated protector and purifier of
the National currency presents himself
at bank and with a document highly
and graphically Ornamented with seal
inv wax, which he conspicuously and
ostentatiously exhibits as his warrant of
a lthority, whispers into the ear of the
awed bank cashier that it has come to
the knowledge of the Government that
the banking house of which the afore-
said cashier is a brilliant ornament is
engaged. perhaps unknOwingly, in the
circulation of counterfeit money, and
that it has become necessary, in order
to protect the Government, that the
funds now on hand in the bank vault be
examined. By this time the feelings Of
the bank cashier can be more easily
imagined than described. Thunder
struck and almost paralyzed, the
cashier in many instances has
not only given this barefaeed
swindler cess to the vaults, but
on more than one occasion, rs is re-
ported, permitted him to carry away
Il no inconsiderable sum of currency,
on the preteXt that more critical eX
animation was necessary in order to de-
ternine its genuineneSS. 1t is needless
to add that in an instance of this kind
the currency is never returned. The
gentleman is still at large and there is
no telling where he next may turn up.
-Waatington Special C.c1etamd Leadcr.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
PNEUMONIA PREVENTED.

OYSTER BAY, MY, April IL, 1855.
believe have been saved from 6 terri
bic illness by ALLcoCK's Porous PLASTERs.
About a month ago / was attacked with
q violent pain in my chest, accompanied
by fever and great difficulty in breath
ing. Unprecedented pneumonia, which IS
so prevalent at present; went to bed and
applied one Allcock's Plaster between my
shoulder blades and two on my chest. In
an hour my breathing was much easier, in
two hours the pam had left me, and the next
morning awoke peri city free from fever.
] went about my business as usual, and at
the end of a week took tie plasters of.
For the last ten years Allcock's Plas.ers
have been used by my family with the best
effect in coils, coughs, ami pain in the side
and back. E. B. SHERWOOD.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
Two Of n Find.


There are two members of the House
who have twin brothers who greatly
resemble them The legislators who re-
joice in duplicates are Phil Thompson.
of Kentucky, and Representative Horn,
Of Michigan. 1t is not an unusual thing
for MIR. Thompson's brother to find him
self gathered by the arm BY one of the
Hon. Pills Democratic colleagues and
dragged in on the floor of the House,
and the injunction Numbered in his ear,
why the dickens don't you get in Your
seat and vote? Our bill is upon its pas
sage"
The other day Mr.. Horr's brother ap-
preached the main door OF the House,
and the polite Democrat in charge
promptly snatched open the green baize
door and bowed him in On the House
floor. The Michigan twin strolled over
to his brothers seat, sat down, and took
part in all the opening ceremonies of
the legislative day except that be failed
to answer the roll call. Representative
Reed, of Maine. who has some peculiar
way of identifying the Horr brothers,
concluded he would have a little fun,
and slipped over and posted the Door
keeper. That functiOnary stalked over to
the desk of the Michigan Statesman, and
informed the intruder that he must come
ont. But" said the occupant of the
chair, my name is Horr; I'm from Mich
i9an." The Democratic Doorkeeper
looked hard at the intruder, and would
have weakened had not Mr.. Reed made
sigEs for him to 90 ahead; that it was all
right. But you are not Representative
Horr," said the guardian of the House,
land you must come outside" Just
then the real Representative of the
Eighth Michigan District came in, and
the DOorkeeper glared at the two in evil
dent dismay. ''All right" said Repre-
sentative Horn. to his brother; '.you 90
outside and I'll come out and talk to
YOU" As the twin passed out the Door
keeper took sort of mental photograph
of him with his eyes, and said 10 his
chum: ''Tll be bowed if he comes that
game on me again" In moment or
two Mr.. Horn left the floor and joined
his brother in the corridor. After they
had finished their chat the Representa-
tive said to his brother: '.1ou 90 in
now and take my seat again" As he
passed the portal the Doorkeeper smiled
confidently and said: "All right, sir, |
know which is which now" When cit
izen Horr was again in his brothers
seat, Mr.. Reed again beckoned to the
Doorkeeper and said: Great heavens!
you've let the wrong man in again, y
and then pointed to Representive Horn,
who was coming in from another door.
The bewildered Doorkeeper looked at
the two Horrs. and then IS the cold
sweat gathered on his brow, he STAN
mered out: For Heavens sake, mark
EN- some way, or I'm likely to turn the
other fellow in caucus any night. -
Washington Republican.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
FAkM AND FiRESIDE.

Boil few more potatoes than you
want for breakfast and mash them up
with little cOtton-seed meal for the
calf.-Troy Times.
Never sit or stand with the wind
Blowing on you for single moment.
or it speedily produces a chill, to be
followed with q fever and then a bad
cold.
"A gill of strong green tea is said to
be specific for sheep poisoned by eat
ing laurel. A farmer who has usea
this remedy many years says he has
saved hundreds Of sheep by it.
As soon as there is food for insects
on fruit trees they will be on hand to
eat it. BE ready for them. Watch for
the first tents of the caterpillar AMI
remove them while small. -CIcc5laRd
LeGter.
TO make beef cakes chop some beel
that is rare, with little bacon or ham
season with pepper and a little onion;
mix well and serve with some good
gravy male from soup stock Chickened
with Drowned flour.-ALbang Journal.
Bread, biscuit, rolls and the crust
OF pies are all greatly improved in flavor
and color if they are | Chilly brushed
over with milk Just before they are put
into the oven, A little sugar dissolved
in the milk is an addition alsO.-N T..
Post
Pumpkin Johnny Cake: Take
pumpkin stewed until il is very dry and
sweet. and stir corn meal into it until
the mass becomes a rather stiff dough-;
spread it on baking pan on which dry
meal mas been sifted, and bake in hot
oVen.-BOSt0H Globe.
The best soil for plums, says j. B..
Moore, is one that is stony and heavy.
The plum is hardy tree, and requires
the same method OF pruning as peaches
Never cut OF the small branches until
they die. aS it is on the small branches
that the most of the fruit grows
Chicago Journal.
"A nice tea biscuit: One-half cup
butter, two cups sugar, two pints -four
two teaspoonfuls OF baking powder, one
teaspoOnful extract nutmeg. Sift the
flour, sugar and powder together; rub
in the butter cold and al / enough sweet
milk to make soft dough, add the eX-
tract last; roll out half an inch thick
and cut out with a biscuit cutter; wash
over with milk AMI bake twenty min
utes.-Ih HOuSchOld.
There is no point about which the
farmer is SO apt to be in error, the
american Dairynan says, as he is in
his calculation of the temperature OF
wells and springs on his farm. He al.
ways thinks they are colder in summer
and warmer in winter than they.reailv
are. The only pos ,ible means of APP
proXimating to the correct tempera-
ture is to put g thermometer in the
water, testing for the greatest heat
along in September. and for the great
est cold any time after January and
before warm weather sets in. MANY ?
man does his milk and butter great
injustice by Over-estimating the cooling
power of his spring or we'll water.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
A GeOrria Snake.

So many snake stories have been pub,
lished by the Southern press that every
NOrtharner who crosses the Ohio River
begins to look for serpents. A Michi-
gan man, who was taking brief trip
last fail down into sunland, reached
Rome, Ga, without having seen a
snake, and he felt so glad over it that
he couldn't keep his feelings to himself,
At the hotel We're several guests who
determined on joke at his expense.
A darkey in town, who had several
samples of stu fed snakes, was inter-
viewed TO the extent of half dollar,
and plan was perfected to give the
Michigander a terri lie scare. Snakes
had been talked of for day or two, to
get the mans feelings properly worked
up. and one evening he was invited to
take seat on the verandah for q smoke
His chair was so placed that a boy
could creep up and deposit the speci-
men under it, and when this had been
done some one began TO talk about the
way snakes sometimes crept into
houses.
Zone evening last summer as lot o.
us sat out here, observed one of tn,
crowd, "a RATHER about seven feet lon
crept up that post over there. dropped
down on the floor, and such a time YOU
never saw
Every man bent over to look under
his chair, as if SuSpecting the presence
Of a snake. The Wolverine caught
sight of the serpent under his, and he
slowly rose up. pulled the chair away,
kicked the reptile clear over the railing
OF the veranda into the street and sal
down with the remark:
We'll, s'pose I'd get used to il
after living here awhile, but Just now
the sight of snake makes me rattle
nervous. Who tells the next story?'-
Detroit Free Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
192 BROADWAY. ROOW No. 10, !
NEW XnnE Ian ~ lSSl

/ first saw what a very fideremedy ALL
COCKS Porous PLAsTEEs were when they
cured my wife of asthma, and when was
attacked with Pneumonia, some three
months ago, first thought of ALLCoCK's
PLAsrERs. By the advice of my physician
1 aced two under each shoulder blade
and two on my chest; in a few hours 1
breathed easier, the congestion Of the
lungs was much less, the icy feeling down
my spine and in my back vanished; tie
plasters soon made me so warm that I
broke out in a profuSe Precipitation, and in
three days was well and attending to my
affairs 1 ought to say that TOOK two
BRAvDRETH's PILLS every nj sht for over a
week, which thiak helped ME good deal.
WILLIAM PERsC4.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
What Some Women Buy.

Come with me to Tiffany's and yo1
Will get q further idea of how money is
flung away. You will get suggestions
of what YOU would see if you could
peep into the boudoirs and bureaus OF
such girls and mothers rs those referred
to. Ii Iany'S is crowded with these
women on every fine day and yet it i
only one of a half-dozen grand market
places of ma.nmon. In them you will
see young girls choosing jeweled ga
ter-buckles, ranging in price from $500
upward to Whatever dizzy heights of
value the gems set in them may bring:
women paying $3.50 for one jeweled
smelling bottle; $50 for a gold-headed
silk umbrella. 500 tor corset clasps of
gold, so for set of hairpinS. $50 for
pearl and gold glove-buttoner, $500
tor pair OF opera g asses cruSted with
Offering stones. Why, the catalogues
issued by these establishm .nts exceed
in sensationalism the widest fancies of
men and women ordinarily endowed
with common sense and common coin.
Louis XIV is made to appear a child of
poverty and Queen Elizabeth person
of humble surroundings when one COM
pares the luXuries they enjoyed with
the articles herein set down in small
type as so many matters of course. Sir
Walter Raleigh, being smoker and a
noble swell. doubtless imagined he had
a pretty nice pocket piece when he pur
chased neaIly-cut piece of flint from
which at the end of chain a cube of
spark-provoking steel was dangling.
Ii he could only look into one of these
b oadway SHOWCASES he would find
match-boxes of heavy gold. Uttered
W tn tiny gems and ticketed $3.50. and
if he bought one he would be no better
supplied than scores upon scores of
yo Iths. Queen Elizabeth leaning upon
the gallant courtier'S arm, would lind
her American sisters buying dress but
tons worth very much more than if
they were solid gold. and tiaraS TO be
worn at two balls each winter, and
kept in . safe deposi: company s64 da,
of each year, valued at the cost price
of her precious crown. Perhaps she
Night think it a jest to orler tooth
PICK and 90 home again; bat she woulu
lind the obliging clerks ready to show
ner trays of toothpicks priced as high
as an ordinary horse and wagon or the
.ent of q comfortable dwelling in the
,uburbs.-N. 7. Cor. Indianapolis Jour
saL.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
NHptial FancieS.

Marriages take place at all kinds OF
places caprice, love of nOtDriety
and sometimes from untoward circum-
stances. Re emily couple were united
in railroad car; the stare C lach has
furnished the place where the bridal
vows have been spoken; people have
been married Oh horseback, in towers
and balloons. TIE writer once partici-
pated in welding on the piazza of a
summer cottage on one Of the thousand
Islands, the moonlight glinting the
majestic river that iloWed beneath, and
browning the. fair bride with such
splendor rs the kings ia ighter5 might
well envy. Niagara has witnessed the
maria re vows, and behind the bridal
veil of Mime laha Falls many coup e
have been made one A Bro )klyn min
lister several years ago married 4 couple
from his chamber window, telling them
to come round in the morning and sign
the necessary papers. The making out
Of the preliminary papers. if the clergy
man is man of tact, is usually done
after the ceremony. tor not seldom is
there marked heSitaHcy on the part
Of the contracting parties in answering
the fatal question of age. Many times
have the eyes of the bride groom opened
wide as the tally o. years counted some
half a dozen more in the presence of
the clergyman than in the prenupt al
condolences OF private conversation, and
though the records are atteSted as true,
to The best of the signer's knowledge
and belief. yetthere have been occasions
in the experience of every minister
when he has been very certain that by
some strange magic at least half a
dozen years have dropped out of the
re Collection of the antique but happy
bride. Strange accidents sometimes
happen in the preparation of the certiti-
cate. The writer once spoi ed the
b idal tour of young bride by acct
denially copying the fathers instead of
the sons name from the Health Board
return living before him. The bride
was in great alarm and at once on her
return she visited the minister in great
distress, saying, "You have married me
to the wrong man." it was with no little
difficulty that she was persuaded that
new certificate would make the old
gentleman her father-in-law. instead Of
her husband. -Bro0tEyn Eagle.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
4 PonrIar ERllacY.

Many people think tina Rheumatism can
not be cure /. l. Is eau ed by bad state
of the blood Which deposits poisonous ma
ter in the j ,intS and muscles causing lame
ness, stiffness and swelling If the joints
and excrucia'ing pains. KidneyWOrt viii
certainly effect cure. 1t acts on the Ri =
Us, Liver and Bowels, stimulating tnen
to /, H. althy acton, purifies and enrich 5
the blood and elimi ates the poison from
the svs. III. Go to the nearest druggist
buy Kidney-W Crt and be cured.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
The walters in the dining-room

The walters in the dining-room oil
the Paxton Hotel, at Omaha, are
mounted on roller skates. The greatest
OBJ ection was the noise they made. bu
this has been largely overcome by using
a composition wheel with fevible sur
face. If the experiment proves sue
cess these skates viii be adopted at a
number OF seaside and summer resorts
partly on account of the novelty
IF the thing and partly to facilitate
the service. 1t is all right as long As
che waiter keeps his feet under him.
but when he does slip up the dull thud
and scattered provision is sickening.-
Chicago tribune.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

IN hundreds of INSANE whore Hot
Springs and other trea msnt failed to cure
scrofula and syrhiIitic disorders, the suf-
ferer has ought and found a cure in Ir.
Guysett's Ye low Dock and -Sarsaparilla.
1t enriches the blood, streng hens the uri-
nary and digestive organs, and quick y e.
moves all indications OF i'll health an blood
disease. from pimple TO n running sore,
from headache to a rheumatic pain. Its
superiority over all other blood purifiers
and strengthening medicines is adm. tied
by all who test its curative effect and in
fiueuce.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
Cancer for Twenty Years.

Mr.. W. r. Robinson, Davisboro, Ga,
wri es, under Date Jan. ), 1851: II am get
ting on finely, the ulcer is gradually neal
ing. feel that Swiit's Specific will cure
horrl bic cancer which as b. en- feeding
on IN for over twenty years"
MIR. O.G. Barron, of Banning, Ga. writes,
dated March 3, 1884: The soreness has ali
gone out of the Cancer, and my health has
greatly improved. | have taKen SIX bot
ties of SwIFT's SPECIFIC, for Skin Cancer,
which have had for year,"
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases
mailed tree. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co.,
Drawer >, Atlanta, Ga.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

DR.. NJ. II. HISSDALE, kenawee, ILL.,, says:
ga neighbDr's wife was at acSed with viO-
lent lung disease, and pronounced beyond
help from Gu ok Consumption. TIE family
was persuaded TO try DR.. WIN. HALLS BAL
SAM FOR THE LUNGS. By the time she had
used One-half dozen bottles she was about
the house doing her own work"
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

DoN'T SANDER your next door neighbor.
H may b. in impoverished circumst ances
and have few if any friends. DON'T speak
I'll of any man until you are positive as to
the exact amount he can lit, and the ma
ture of tn" person when aroused.-CGrI
PretzepS Weekly.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01
"A New York doctor has been re,d

"A New York doctor has been read
NO paper on dreams before a med
al so .iety of that city, in which he
tated that dreams differ according to
ne food taken into the sto mach of tn.
Ieeper. Thus" he says. eff q mar
IeepS with his stomach full of ,ornet
eef and other solids his dreams Will =,
cry different from what they would H.
he had the same stomach dis,ensiut
rom eating food of less gravity"
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

No EFFORT has ever been made to adver.
tise Ly.iia E. ri kham's Vegetable Com
pound outside our own America; yet ,re-
Guent calls from other Parts of the world
show that good news VII spread. Pack
ages of this medicine have even been sent
from Lynn, Mass, to China.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

IT is said that a young lady can never
whistle in the presence OF her iovsr. Inc
reason is obvious. He doe MT give her
chance. When she gets her lips in prop
er position for viii t Ing something else
alw avs occurs.-ROchester Post Express.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

@Keep This in Mind. In the Diamond
by more coloring is given than in any
known dyes, ID the y give faster and more
brilliant colCrs. 1Oc. at all drug,is s..
Wells, Richardson & Co., Burling on, VI.
Sample Gard, 81 lors, and book of direc-
tons for &c. stamp.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

THEY were Boosting about ancestry.
My forefathers," said John, 'came over
fir, IN En- land Oh the May fl wer." "And
my ANCESTRY" said Pat, kim over from
Quanstown on the Sunf 'wer. Its esthe,ic
am."-ChicdQO Tribune.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

II is absurd to say that Gould or Tilden
or Vanderbilt has The finest yacht in tie
world. No matter how fine a yacht may
b., 1t has its pier.-PhiladelphiG Gail.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

THE short, hacking cough, which leads to
Consumption, is cured by Piso's Cure.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

Hale's Honey OF Horehound and Tar
Stops your roat bur ing. Why don'tyou
use it? Pixies tOo5hacde drops cure in one
minute.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

IN one OF our Indian languages the word
"woman" is rendered "kwanoiawjaw,"
with marked and earnest emphasis on the
last two syllables.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

"HIGH, fat crowns are most in favor"
An American girl will take almos- any
kind Of crown and not complain.-N. \.
Graphic.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

WHEN a rich man dies nowadays he
leaves his will to his heirs and his money
to their lawyers.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

CYCLONES are becoming so plenty out
Yves, that almost every poor family can
afford to have one.-BOStOn Post.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

DARWIN says there is living principle
in fruit. We suppose he refers to the
worms.-IndiandpOl Scissors.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

II silence is golden, an asylum for deaf
mutes ough to be roiIing in wealth.-OH
City Blizzard.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

ABOUT the only chin awaiting the in
tia ory laior or the barber Is the urchin.
Hartford Journal.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

"JoHN, what is that scar on your CHR: ~
"That scar? On, that is relic of bar
barism." -R0chester UJlioR.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

A HORRIBLE but humorous parag~apheT
suggests that the Boston crematory is only
a new way of baking beings.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

IT is strange that some one did not dis
per-e the mob at cincinnati by proposing
t. take up Observation-Disclosures Her
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-01

DIR. OFT has learned that the rattle
snakes tail makes sixty vibrations pc
second. This must have necessitate,
about sixty one vibrations per second
the part Of Or. Ott.-P.Radelpl.n