Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-02-21
nR. JOHN F. HARTER.
Practical Dentist,
HUMOROUS.

AAfAo ~ IeNA OSChii w bftoo OttiA AAACiA
that milk pitcher is agood fly catcher?
The longest word in the dictionary is
'disproportlonableness BY punching
out every other letter it ought TO make
an excellent comb.
Mrs. Mnrphy-'Och, it's awful, ther
paypul what's luried aloivel If be
living whin I'm dead, Pat, DON'T be
afther burying me aloive -
Teacher-'Now, children, which one
of you can tell me what consonant is?
Bright boy-'I can. It's portion Of
land surrounded by water
A sensible farmer says he'd rather
sell milk than eggs, because he has neY.
er yet been able to find pump that
could help the hens in the slightest.
What's the difference between the
man who tears down picket fence and
one who dresses spring chicken? Ohe
pulls the picket and the other picks the
puller -
In this ISSUE said an exchange, is
an article headed What will the coming
girl wear p We rather think, however,
she won't wear anything-when she
comes
Yes said Mrs. Upperten, i know
the telephone IS great convenience, bat
[ shall haye it taken out Of the house.
The things are SO dreadfully common,
you know
A river called Kissmelonga has been
discovered by Stanley in Central Africa,
and the Boston Transcript knows it has
heard the name before, but not in this
connection.
4 mans brain weighs three and a
half pounds. A woman's brain is
somewhat lighter, but of finer quality.
That is what enables her to taste lard in
her neighbor's pastry. 81
How RAPIDLY man looses all inter-
est in Thanksgiving and Christmas OBJ
servations and the glorious results OF a
Massachusetts election when he shuts
dooI on his thumb
An Indian named 'Nan-Afraid-of-
Nothing married white woman in
Montana recently, and in and week af-.
ter the wedding applied to his tribe to
have his name changed. ''
Il always sing to please myself said
a gentleman who was humming tune
in company. How nice it is to be SO
easily pleased I responded lady who
sat next to him.
'Your father is worth at least half
milhon,, said he to his jealous sweet
heart. That is true, she murmured.
And yet you doubt my love-, he re-
piled, in an injured tone.
The Chief of Police of Buffalo defines
a suspicious person as "a man standing
on the street corner with his hands in
his pockets Fold your arms and lean
against wall if you want to pass for
an honest man. i - s 4 s tal
A man very much intoxicated was
taken to the station. "Why did you
not bail him out?n inquired bystan-
der of friend. "Bale him. out2'' ex-l
claimed the other, why, you couldn't
pump him out!"
No. SAID fond mother, speaking
proudly of her twenty five. year-old
daughter; no, Mary isn't old enough
to marry yet. She cries whenever any
one seolds her, and until she becomes
hardened enough to talk back vigorous
ly she isn't fit for wife, E..4 .4iaeq
A man in sleeping car went through
terrible. accident, in which the car
rolled down an embankment, without
waking. 1t was noted, however, that.
as the car struck the bottom lie MUIR
mered Don't, Jane, don TT; I'll get up
and start the fire directly '8di -y
Grandpa, does hens make their own
eggs?' Yes, indeed, they do, Johnny.'
AN do they always put the yolkinthe
middle ? Guess they do, johnny
AN do they put the starch around it
70 keep the yaller from rubbing off p
Quite likely, my boy AN who sews
the cover ON p This stunped the old
gentleman. JUS .9H @a i-