The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1884-08-07
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Sometimes, when the clouds are dun
and the wind is in the East, when the
grade is heavy, the steam IL low aud the
~and-bOX empty, ii does seem rs though
this old world had slipped an eccentric
and was only working one side. The
wicked man 'llourishcs like Il green bay
tree, while his honest nCigabUr gets
whipSnwcd every deal The doctor
prcscrihcs quininc for your chills. and
the druggist puts you up something
worthless and cheap for two dollars AN
ounce. There are tifty-thrcc authors OF
"Bcautiiul SNOW ana not one Tor the
| "Brcad Winners" In Philadelphia one
munuiactOry makes nothing but cen
tury old "graudfuthor'S clocks and
furnishes pcdigrccs Of the same to the
purchaser, until to own tall, antique
clock is proof possible that your family
began only with your father. In 'hica-
90 they make viOlinS that look one hun
/ bred wears older than the most genuine
/ Stradivarius. four weeks after they are
made, 50 that now an ancient, honest
! looking, decrcpit violin is prima Iaclc
| evidence of ylaring and outrageous
! fraud. There is water in the milk OF
commerce and sugar in the
sand the grocer sells. We have
rigorS whore we used t. hay"
chiils. "Old Subscribers is usually 1t
man who hOrrOws the paper from q
nuinhhor or reads the COPY pasted upon
! The bulletin board. "yonstaur Reader
who never read ANYTHING in his life save
! the pictures on circus poster, and
."raX Payer" is The signature of Il tramp,
! 4 struggling gCniuS writes poem with
Il soul of fire, that lives forever and Il
| day and dies in tears and loneliness and
| poverty in hall bedroom, fifth floor
nrck. The Queen writes book that no
| living man outside the Guelph family
and the proof reader could be hired To
read. and his pie three times day, owns
! four dogs, and has India >lHWls to give
! to the flood sufferers.
| So il is. Man goeth to the skating
rink with joy in his heart and mlrth on
| has lips, and he cometh away with his
! back SO full of pine slivers that tho por-
rupinp saycth unto him, "Thou art my
! brother" and the hedgehog crieth
after him, "Bchold my father ana
mother"
When December is here with select
assortment of chil-blainS and FROST
titcs, we cry, "Would heaven it were
.ly." And when July is come,
; raj ghtway we are sunslruck.
There are three thousand known cIaSsi-
fled and described species Of fish. And
vet man can fish in good water all day
long and never catch one solitary Spcci-
home with him only two weeks ration
of u malarial fever. This also is vanity.
Garfield was shot to death in The prime
, of a good and useful life. Lincoln was
taken away Just when the country least
could spare him. De Long laid down
his life for science when his sun had
reached its meridian, while the man
who can write lorty-nine chapters Of the
Bible on one side of Il postal card will
probably live to the age of nnetN-threc.
This doesn't seem right.
The girl with soft gray eyes and rip
ping brown hair, who walked all over
your poor iluttering heart at the charity
ball, has Just finished Il crazy quilt con-
tanning one thousand andsiXtytOur pieces
of neckties and hat Innings, put together
with twenty-one thousand three nun
bred and ninety stitches. And her poor
old father fastens on his suspenders with
II long nail, u piece of Irvine, Il sharp
stick and one regularly ordained but
ton. This also is vanity
Man plantcth a bed of pansics i'll the
| front yard, and 10! there cometh up
naught save a colony of cut worms only.
| He goeth forth into the field and drop
peth corn into the hills, and four hun
dred million crows sing as they pluck 1t
out of the ground after him.
He strolleth through the leafy woods
lolleth in the fragrant winrows of the
new-mown hay, and straightway bitetll
Ia nself with a snake. There are SPRING
Guns in the orchard, Il bull in the pas
lure, a ram in the meadow, dog III the
yard, and three tramps down the road,
| so that he hath no rest for the sole of his
| foot, and no joy for his heart IL he
movelh out of his room.
Somebody has got to straighten this
old world out, ana as they seem to be Il
| little slow about it, | have made up my
mind that / will do it myself. Why
should Vanderbilt ride in private car
when sometimes it is hard grubbing fol-
an hon st journalist to secure a TRIP
pass? Why should ex-senator Tabor
| the magnificent, pay out more money
for night shirts than "a home missionary
can afford for carpets? Go to! If some
thing is not done speedily, of a verify
will join the Communists, and become
Next to being capitalist, it is NOR,
profitable to be an agitator.