Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-02
BRIGHT BITS.

CROWDED Blaine meetings are called JIM
Jams.
THE young man who has experienced a cool
reception when visiting his best girl can
sympathize with the sufferings of Arctic ex-
plorers.-St. Paul Herald.
AMAN in Cincinnati has discovered a pro-
cess by which a corpse may be converted into
marble. What a lovely barher-pole Sarah
Bernhardt would make.-PhilddeLphid eau.
$50 you call that well water?" remarked
the stranger, squirting the offending liquid
from his mouth s'Great Scott how must 1t
have tasted when it was ill?'-B0Sto1 iran
script.
"SoLED AGAINw exclaimed the young man
as he went flving down the front steps for the
third time inside of a week. propelled by the
vigorous foot of his charmer's papa.-Burttng-
ton Free Press.
HEARD AT SARATOG A-''What is that girls
name? She looks very awkward and rustic
at this garden party" II don't know exact
", but / should say she was a Miss FIt."-
Boston BUdget.
INNOCENT WIFE: ''What do you mean,
Charlie, by 'straddling blindP | should
think it would be so much easier to ride rail-.
if that is way you have of initiating men at
the club."-LJe.
A NEW YORK PHYSICIAN says that Lulu
Hurst is a fraud and he can make people
dance around just as easily as she does. lie
can probably do it easier. All that IS neCes-
sary is to send in his blll.-PhitddeLpbid Cdtt
COUPLE of monkeys escaped from the
Dime Museum in this city the other day and
started down Main street with a piece OF
green cloth. and everybody began to ing Ilre
where the Greenback party was holding
convention.-PdrisB Beacon.
A FEW DAYS SINCE a lady aboard Norfolk
and Western train had her dress set on fire
by cigar carelessly left on seat. Amongst
the articles which fell from her hustle were
found the oldest editions of the Lynchburg
FirginidR and the Alexandra Gazette.
THEY were speaking of the circus athletes
eyes" said Mrs. Green, II saw one of those
tumblers 1t appeared to be filed with a red
LIQUID. But. really, don't see how you can
go into ecstaces about such thing as that.
As far as l could discover. there was very lit
tie in it."-BOStOn Transcript.
FATHER" queried young Henderson,
stwhat is a society event?" "A society event
is what / call one Of your mothers crazy
quilt parties. if / can get the editor to put it
in for nothing. If can't getit in fer nothing l
call it q shame, and ask him when he's gong
to pr mt something the people like to read."-
Boston Transcript.
II SAY. Jimmy, yer at very hard luck, an
feel sorry for yer" said small boy to
companion. whats de matter? L halnt
got no hard luck" "DO yer mean to say yer
don't know wOts goin' on up at yer hOuseY
''No, l amt heard nothin'. What is it?"
"Dere's a man unloadin' cord wood in de
lane. "-Nea1 York San.
A BOOK CRITIC takes exception to an ex-
preston by Black, the novelist, in "Y Olande,"
in which he speaks Of a man shaking as
thought were in the grip of vise.7 He
thinks that ANYTHING in the grip of wise IS
not likely to shake very reckles.ly. But that
depends very much on the kind of wise. If
it is spelled with a C. and has reference to
stimulants it may shake a man up pretty
badly.-DetrOit Free Press.
Mp RI ATNE doesn't care who has the ocean
carrying trade. Why should he? Indeed, it
is better as it is. The last war with Great
Britain. it will be remembered, was caused
bv Americas attempt to run merchant ma
rine of her own. How fortunate it is that we
have now no ships or sailors! There is no
danger of the war of 1872 being repeated. Mr..
Blaine missed the opportunity of making
good point by not claiming that this removal
of an ever threatening cGSUs 6eUi was due to
the protective policy of the Republican party.
Boston TyrnScriDt,