The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-01
Sense md eNnpse,age,

Sense and eMnrseiige,
Every cloud has silver lining hut il
Is not 50 with solii silver water pitchers.
They are nickel plated. sa1 ak
A Virginia girl married tramp who
turned out to be duke We've no pity
for her. She should have known what
be sas before she married him. seo tsa
Much distress and sickness attributed
to dyspepsia and chronic diarrhoa is oc.
casioned by humor 10 the stomach
Hoods Ssrsaparilla is the remedy. -
She said. "Uh, yes. am very fond Of
little boys," and as a SNOWFALL stuck In
the back Of her neck, she added, 81 feel
as though could eat q couple this min.
ute, boiled..n :. sssz..l. -
Ia As we 20 to- press, facetionsly re-
marked the young Journalist, ss he put
bis arms, around her waist. "You do
not make q good impression" abe re-
piled as she slapped his mouth, go
The. Ogallala Cattle Company. ol
0msha. which hought 5000 head, has
taken also the Boslers herd of $4,000 fol
$125 900. The company now has over
LOG, 600 head and 81, ,O00, 600 invested.
A COMMITTEES OF Western glass men
have gone East to- persuade Eastern
manufacturers to stop cutting prices. il
they refuse, the president Of the Glass
workers association will order workmeu
out. a' shsH - a astm
Is your wife acquainted with the dead
languages ?" asked the professor OF o
Newman man. ssMayhe she isl was
the reply, "but the language she uses ie
sntirely too warm to. have been dead
very long" sasa sav
"a zDes Moines intelligence Office has
received an order for cook to go to
Colorado. The person writing ssays
tsThere aresten men here TO one woman,
and good c,ok can get large wages
and q husband Yt is sss
Mrs. Franks, the firsts. woman to land
on Galveston Island, then Inhabited
only by sand crabs, aud the mother oi
the first white child born there, is still
alive and hale and hearty, through al
an advanced age. East ~ s5c sah
"Two hours to the next train out ~
calculated the man who got left, "How
in thunder shall / be able to kill time
until then 2" But he readily accomplish
ed this BY entering a barber shop and
waiting his turn to he shaved.
In paragraphing the popularity ex-
hibited by women in not being able to
pass millinery store without looking
| in. the defense isn't allowed to say any
thing shout men not being able to pass
a gin mill without going In,
About al5o,0o0 of the money ap-
propriated bv the Ohio Legislature for
the relief of food sufferers is still in the
hands of the commission, and it is
probable the greater part OF it will be
returned to the State Treasury.
Thermometers rarely tell the true tenn.
perature. One gets at 1t as the farmer
weighed his pig-~ho tied the carcass
to one end Of rail, balanced 1t with a
bag OF stones at the other end, and then
guessed what the stones would weigh.
Tramps, says disinterested contem-
porary. have signs and tokens. xxx
on gate.post means, "The old bloke
mot k cps this ere dosing ken has a
gup and two bully dogs. and all true
rartlopoan -;ll paso IN 10 the no~f
house"
"f think" said Marathon man, "tba,
our forefathers made great mistake in
having the extra day in leap year come
in February, which is one OF our most
dissgre eahle months. They should have
located it in June, when bad days are
very rare" :
The tendons OF the tait of the kanga-
roo can be easily split into threads two
feet in length, rivaling elk 10 strength,
softness. tlneness. beauty Of color sand
finish. S ,me tendons for ligatures and
sulures pr, mise 10 supplant elk almost
entirely in SURGERY.
Columbus Timns. 17th: Hon. John
G. Thompson has so far recovered as to
be able to leave his room, and within a
lew days bis phys clsn promises him 8
| glimpse OF 0down town." He has had
a prolonged sieges HIS hosts OF friends
will welcome his reappearance in theif
midst. 5'+ .ss 49,
The discovery of tin il N,rth Caro-.
lina was, made in a singular manner.
Among the minerals exhibited at TIE
Boston exposition from that state was q
lump OF ore marked unknown" It was
analyzed bv an. assayist and found to
contain % per cent, OF tin, the richest
|.eveiz known.
PAssenger-ffow long have you been
employed on the street cars2 Driver
Fifteen year-barrin' whin was SICK
Passenger-You must be great favor
ite with the company Driver-Ha |!
ha ha! Dive see that ovid gray mare
I'm dhriyin'?. Well, we both fell sick
together at wanst last winter. They
sint for doctor for the horse, an they
sint me me resignation Teas Siftings.
Poker PLAYERS say that General Bris-
tow, ex-secretary of the treasury, and
the pet candidate OF the reformers eight
years ago, can sit as quietly behind three
kings and pal, OF aces and not betray
his feelings as any one In Washington
But that's easy enough to do lis sit.
ting behind . hand containing none of a
kind and jack high, and looking as
though you owned the earth and wanted
to put fence around it then, that's the
difficult act. Boston Post.
Mr.. Irving ought to visit Lebanon. o !.
before he leaves this country. Notwith
standing the large Shaker element settled
under the Ohio cedars OF Lebanon. there
are a few people there who appreciate
good 'saction" when they see It. The
Lebanon Star says: IA patheticker piece
OF action than which Robert McWsde
gave Monday night as Rip Van Wrinkle
has never been seen on the stage OF the
Lebanon opera-house. Detroit Free
Press isSs y 9A1 81 fs'ss.Es
A correspondent OF the London Athe.
naum writes: sit is not Improbable that
Mount Everest, $4,000 feet, which has
hitherto passed for the monarch of the
Himalayan chain. will be dethroned Mr.
l Graham and ihia two Swisa uuides In