The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-03-13
A Hog Story.

1t was at the beginning of the war.
His regiment was marching through
Louisiana by forced marches; for it is a
solemn matter of fact that the first troops
that went out from Texas were in very
much of hurry because they feared the
war would be over before they reached
the tented field. They were afraid the
Virginians would swindle them out of
their share of glory in taking Washing
ton. While the Northern people were
talking about a ninety days. war, the
Texans thought it hardly worth while to
start out, as the war would be over before
they could get chance to strike a blow.
But to the story, which is given in the
language of the newspaper man himself :
Just before dark one afternoon. we
passed comfortable looking farm house,
the owner of which was busily engaged
with very anxious expression of coun'
tenance and long pole in driving a
number of pigs under tie house. The
impression that forced itself upon US, on
observing this conduct, was that he
thought the pigs would be safer and last
longer, as far as his selfish wants were
concerned, under his immediate super,
vision than in any place where we could
get at them. One of my comrades, who
was trudging along by my side, Bob
Beasley, proud, highstrung, sensitive
fellow, but as honest. nevertheless, as the
day is long, was stung to the quick by the
action Of the farmer; and turning 10 me,
Bob said, "That is an insult to our sacred
cause and to- every honest man in the
regiment. Let us resent it. Let us
teach this man to respect US. Let's 60
back there tonight and steal one of his
darned old hogs to show him that we
won't stand any of his insinuations."
saw that Bob's feelings were hurt by
the ungenerous conduct of the rustic and
endeavored to calm him down, but in
vain. His blood was ur. I agreed to
assist him in wiping out the insult, on
condition that I should have one-half of
the pork. We camped few miles from
the house, and that night, although we
were very tired, we cheerfully trudged
back to the house, where we had seen
the farmer trying to steal the pigs from
us. We quietly called council of war
and agreed upon campaign plan. 1t
was thought best not to make any un.
necessary noise, as it might induce the
farmer to come out and still further irri.
tate us. All really wanted was the
hog. Bob Beasly was to crawl through
the hole under the house and drive the
hogs out, because he was more familiar
with the habits of hogs than l was. l
was to assume an offensive position, with
q club, at the outside of the hole, and as
soon as hog came out | was to stun
him with blow, after which he was to
be despatched and carried to camp.
Bob crawled in on all-fours and pretty
soon I heard hog scrambling toward
the hole. I drew back my club; and
lust as the porker came out through the
hole I gave him tremendous blow.
Bob beasley gave grunt, for he was the
hog. I had only dislocated his shoulder
instead of knocking his brains out. The
farmer, it seems, had added insult to in
jury by removing his hogs from under
the house. He did not think they were
safe even there.
"Bob expressed himself very forcibly.
He used language to which no soldier
should use to comrade. He was evil
dently much disappointed at not finding
the hogs under the house. In the excite
ment Of the moment 1 spoke emphatical.
" in low tone of voice OF what l
thought of the conduct of the farmer. !
had a good notion to inform the colonel
of our regiment, and have the agricultu.
ralist imprisoned as traitor. should
certainly have denounced his treachery,
but I was afraid if I said anything about
the affair our motives for trying to xii
the hog might have been misconstrued.
I volunteered to carry Bob Beasley to
camp on my back, which was only two
or three miles of. I would not have
volunteered if Beasley had not given me
his solemn word Of honor that ne would
assassinate me if I did not carry him
cheeyiully.
When got to camp / had acquired q
permanent curvature of the spine, which
is one of the offerings I cheerfully laid
upon the altar of my country. Our de:
votion to principle was not appreciated
by our comrades who would jeeriugly
call out 'How's your hog?' whenever we
passed along the line. From that hour l
instinctively felt that the cause of the
confederacy was hopeless. ."-Tsras Stt-
in0s. '.i