Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-05-28
PLEASANTRIES.

oNE OF Uu0 u1CSSI AOA - o.
in a waltz around the parlor is
broom.
LADIES are giving up the bang posi-
bly, because it is loud fashion of dress
ing the hair.
If you would be wealthy get upon
mule; yon will soon find you are better
off.-Chacago San.
If the cottage bonnet is so called be-
cause it is only one story high, welcome
the coming of the cottage bonnet.
IT is an old custom. Helen of Troy
was the first woman who wanted to go
to Paris and leave her husband at home.
DRINKING must be driven out of the
churches" yelled temperance orator.
Curious no one has thought of that be-
fore.-Boston Globe.
HIS Reverence (facetiously inclined,
pointing to donkey)-"Pat, dye hear
yer mother calling to YEP" Pat-"Shure
an do, father" Judy.
A BRIGHT reporter on the Buffalo
Express, after seeing a delegation of
Latter Day Saints, remarked that
Raphael never painted such saints"
ALL men are born free and equal
but do not remain SO. Some descend
into the maelstorm of politics, and
others ascend into the upper air of
Journalism.
Low rents may suit some people,
but they make me tearing mad" said
the seedy swell, as he tried to sew up
the rip il the sole of his shoe.-Neao
York Journal.
SHAKESPEARE has been dead just 26S
years. Had it not been for the sweet
singer of Michigan, how sadly the
world would have missed him!-
Burlington Haa0keye.
The poet wrote the line, ooh, my sad
eyed sailor;;" but the intelligent COM
positor made it appear, cove my mad
eyed tailor" Another case of "builded
better than he knew Y. Journal.
HE recent Wagner musical festival
held in Boston proved SO successful
financially, that Mr.. Wagner thinks
seriously of giving up the sleeping-car
business, and devoting his time to
music. marlborough Times.
A POLITICIAN of the type of those who
only read the headlines in newspapers
remarked lately that he was opposed to
a trade dollar bill and thought sill
yer trade dollar already bad enough
Nea0 York Commercial Advertiser.
So you're engaged to DR.. B. 1t must
be very nice to be engaged to doctor.
Every time he calls, you know-and of
course that must be very often-you feel
as if you were getting for nothing what
every one else would have to pay 81
for.
Now then Boots shows off his Latin
for the benefit of his wife. The other
dav he remarked: "Only think, in a
few weeks more it will be fat9it tenn
pus." By which the old man meant
Fly time" = Cincinnati Saturday
Night.
A New YORK couple who are to be
married in May will make their wedding
tour in canoe-evidently believing that
i'll this manner they will acquire more
canoe-bial bliss than usually falls to the
lot of married people. -NOr'Sstoaors
Herald.
A LITTLE fellow, with tall, stalwart
wife, was asked by friend if the con-
trast between them didn't often ex-
pose him to notifying remarks. ooh,
[ don't mind that" he said, cheerfully !;
@but since Sarah has grown near-sight-
ed I have to look sharp for fear she'll
step on me-"
IT is a remarkable coincidence that
lust at this time there are SO many
women suffering from bad colds. And
it is also astonishing that if you ask any
one of the many thus afflicted they will
tell you the Cause was leaving off their
sealskin saeQues SO soon.-Br0dford
Sunday Mail.
WHEN one of the twenty-one Gin
cinnati murderers was found hanging
dead in the cell, suspended by the bed
clothes, a Cincinnati man suggested
putting up placard II the cells of the
other twenty: s'Do not tear up the
sheets! & rope will be found in the cor
ner of the CELL
A COMPROMISE: Judge-"Your client
had better make compromise. Ask her
what she will take" Counsel -"My
good woman, his lordship asks what you
will take" Old woman-t1'm obliged
to his Iordship (curtseyl; as he's so kind
(curtsey), I'll just take glass of warm
ale. london Fun.
john H. STrDPoLE and Miss Clara
Cake were married at Tamaqua on the
Oath inst. The citizens think of pre-
senting handsome testimonials to the
editors of the local papers for heroically
refraining from heading the report OF
the wedding, "He Takes the Cake. y
No9rdStOaD2a Herald.
SCFsE-Zoological Garden-Tom,
Harry, and keeper, gazing on large bird
in cage.-Tom: s'See ERE AIRY. here's
a beagle" Harry: $50 away, you don't
know: it's q how'll" Tom (excitedIy) !:
81 tell yer it's beagle! Ere. guv'nor,
what's this ERE bird 2" Keeper Solemn
" Gentlemen, it's nork. "-J1dy.
WHAT is the use of wasting money by
advertising in the newspapers when one
can tack notice like this on the bull
letin board of the Court House. or on
the door of the deestrict school: clos
or strade, Soral horse, to wife feat
and wife Ease. Blind in wun /: FIVE
doler reWord."- burlington HGWkeye.