The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-13
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husband when his wife asked him to
buy her $15 pair of corsets. Judge.
The seersucker craze will be of few
days, but the beersuckers, like Tenny-
sons brook, will go on forever-Ind.
Herald.
A new song is called: "Wilt thou,
o Wilt thou?" 1t is supposed to be
dedicated to collar and pair of cuffs.
Boston Post.
We have at last discovered why our
gas bill is 50 high. The meter is sick
it must have gas-trick fever.-Evans-
vile Argus.
An open letter-the one that comes
to the house addressed to you in n la
dy's handwriting and your wife re-
ceives it from the postman.-Brooklyn
Times.
A milkman in Cincinnati was drown
ed the other day. He probably knows
himself now what too much water is
like.-Oil City Derrick.
One very pleasant effect Of the pres
ent cool summer is that the ladies have
been able to keep their powder dry
Phil. Chronicle-Herald,
The admirers OF Mr.. Oscar Wilde
who were unable TO grasp his meaning
when he spoke of "unkissed kisses
will find clue in the Congressional
Record with its unspoken speeches.
Life.
An American woman has secured II
patent for an ash-sifter, and now all
that is wanted is patent contrivance
to make servant girl use it.-Phila-
delphia Call.
$50 you call that well water2" re-
marked the stranger, squirting the Of
tending liquid from his mouth. "Great
Scott! how must it have tasted when
it was ill.,"
is said that blowing will cure con-
sumption. One would think, then,
that very few married women wonld
die Of consumption.--Burlington Free
Press.
Summer is probably selected for the
base ball season because there are an
abundance of flies and bats /; although
to be sure, there are more balls in the
winter-Washington Hatchet.
otis love that makes the world &c
roundw exclaimed the married man
whose wife had chased him around the
room till the walls seemed to spin like
tho many skirts of ballet girl in a
fourth-class opera.--Burlington Free
Press. ......
Parent (angrily)-"You have been
in the wateri You were fishingv
Son-"Yes, ma'am; I was in the water
but got boy out who might have
been drowned" Parent-"Indeed
who wasit" Son--"M yself. Judge
A correspondent writing from The
seashore says that "there is always
something about the ocean that fills
him with WONDER Probably the
price the landlord asks for board ha,
something to do with it.-Yonkerl
Statesman.
| A young man having asked girl i
he might go home with her from sing
ing-class and been refused, said
"You're as full of airs as musica
box" Perhaps So" she retorted
"but if am, don't go with crank.
Exchange. 80
"The evening shoe for little girls il
the Patti slipper" says an exchange
1t is used just before the little girl il
put to bed without her supper, and TIL,
ceremony Of "trying it on" is attended
with more or less eff'usive demonstra
tions on the part of the little girl
mother.-Lowell Citizen.
A physician has discovered tina
"more acts of violence are committed
during the hot weather than at an,
other season." He must have observ
ed the violent effort of fat and bald
headed old gentleman to murder
mosquito or fy.--Lowell Citizen.
A Chicago lady has bleached he
hair to match the shade of her brigh
| sorrel horse. Some of her friends
however, when they see her out will
her husband, think she attempted tt
change the color of her trosses t,
match his nose, and didn't get tn,
btint quite enough of strawberry
blonde.-Norristown Herald.
A cashier is in an unhappy position
when he is urged to take vacation b,
his employers, and is aware that h
has not taken enough to leave 70
good, and yet has taken enough tina
he dare not leave his books in tn
hands Of another party. Such a MAJ
has to be faithful, year after year
without holiday.-Picayune.