The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1884-09-17
THE FLORIDA

The bishop looked at the children as
they focked around him and chung to
his legs and coat, and was astonished to
perceive that they were neither his nor
the late Mr.. Parks. He said, you
Youngsters have made a mistake am
not your father;' and the bishop smiled
good-naturedly.
"Oh, yes, you are, chorused the III
tie ones.
"But / say am not, ;" said the bishop,
frowning; ''you ought to beashamed OF
yourselves; don't.y know where little
story-tellers go? 1t is scandalous for
YOU to violate the truth in this manner;
my name is Bilrikets."
eyes, we know it is; that is our name
now since the wedding"
"Since what wedding?" demanded
the bishop, turning pale.
"Why, mas wedding, of course; she
was married to you by Joseph S., and
we are all living at your house now, with
our new brothers and sisters"
The bishop sat down and wiped away
tear. Then he asked:
"Who was your father?"
"AIr. F. Letcher," said the crowd,
''and he died on Tuesday"
"And how many of his internal old
Widows mean how many of your mo-
ther-are there?"
"Only twenty-seven," replied the
children, "and there are only siXty-four
of us, and we are awful glad you have
come home"
The bishop did not seem to be unusu-
ally glad somehow he failed to share
the enthusiasm of the occasion. There
appeared to be too much sameness about
these surprises, so he sat there with his
hat pulled over his eyes and considered
the situation. Finally, seeing there was
no help for it, he went up to the house,
and forty-eight of Mrs. Bilriket rushed
up to him and told him how i.ia prophet
had another vision, in which he was
commanded to seal +. Letcher's widow
to Bilrikets.
Then the bishop stumbled around
among the cradles to his writing desk,
he felt among the gum rings and rattlers
for his letter paper, and then he adj
dressed note to the prophet, asking
him as a personal favor to keep awake
until after Christmas ''The man must
take me for founding hospital" he
said. Then he saw clearly enough that
if he gave presents to the other children
and not to the late f. Letcher's, the
bride would make things warm for him,
so he started again for siXty-four more
trumpets, while Mrs. Bilrikets gradually
took leave of him in the entry as he filed
out. On his way home after his last
visit the bishop sat in the car by the side
of man who had left the bishops house
the day before. He was communicative.
In the course of the conversation he re-
marked to the bishop:
reTa hat at J Mas mighty RTetty affair up
"What AFFAIR."" asked Bilrikets.
"Why, that wedding; Randof's Wild
ow, you know-married by proxy" +
"You don't say so ~ replied the bish-
OPP. ri didn't know Randof was dead"
eyes, died on Sunday, and that night
the prophet had vision in which he
was ordered to seal her to the bishop"
'Bishop exclaimed Bilrikets "What
Bishop?"
''Well, you see, there were fifteen of
Mis-. Randof and eighty-two children,
and they showed the whole lot off on old
Bishop Bilrikets. Perhaps you don't
know him ?"
The bishop gave wild shrek and
writhed upon the floor as if he had fit.
When he recovered he leaped from
the train and walked back. He after
ward took the first steamer for some for
eign watering place, where he entered a
monastery and became celibate.
His carpet-bag was sent to his family.
1t contained the balance of the trumpets.
On Christmas morning they were distri-
buted, and in less than an hour the en-
tire two hundred and eighty children
were sick from sucking the brass upon
them. A doctor was called, and he
seemed SO much interested in the family
that the prophet divorced the whole
concern from old Bilrikets and annexed
it to'the doctor, who Immediately lost
his reason, and would have butchered
the entire family if the woman with the
crushed strawbeITy-hair and the oldest
boy had not marched him to lunatic
asylum, where he spent his time trying
to arrive at an estimate of the number
of his children by ciphering with an
impossible combination Of the multiple
cation table and algebra.