Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1884-09-11

such exseIieni is lTNilin5 mel trlend
Luji0 JaMbrokeskif -NOrristOtDn Her.
aid.
At an evening school for adults in
Hornsey Tine Horse" was given to
the pupils as suijcrt of composition.
An agricultural coLaycr-one of those
who will shortly nave vote-set to
work with will, and executed the fol-
lowing: The ors is The nob.est of an
ermals and so il the kow. Ii you hit
i'm he won't do it. The ors has legs
in each korner. Finis. ."-Lond07s
Graphic.
According TO the Philadelphia Times,
society in thai city is agitated over the
question whether the window reflect
ors" which are put out 1T second-story
windows, 10 allow the inmates of a
house TO see what is Going on outside,
and, in particular, wEo is ringing the
front door bell. are TO be tolerated. 1t
seems 10 be very generally agreed that
they are convenient, but in ''horrid
form" They are very numerous.
4 mother seal fouowed Il schooner
which had captured Ter baby along the
coast of California for eignty miles.
After the vessel reached the wharf at
Santa Barbara III" Young seal was tied
up in jule sack and let loose on the
deck. Soon after coming To anchor
the seal responded to its mothers calls
by casting Itself oven board, all tied up
as it was in the sack. The mother
seized the sack, and with her sharp
teeth tore it open, and the reunited
pair swan off together Tales of the
Pacific.
The meanest girl has just been found.
She is an Abba, Iowa. girl who has q
pet calf, which she has haltered in the
front yard. She has taught it to fight,
and when her fellow takes his depar-
ture she loosens the picket rope and
rope and the calf butts him over. She
rushes to his rescue with seemingly
heroic devotion and saves him. Hero
ism is great quality in woman, but
it is unfair for y girl TO win the affec-
tions of her fellow by this deception,
matter if ignorance is bliss.
A merchant in Berlin, having fallen
in love with an opera singer, purchased
two dresses and sent them 10 her to
make her choice, saying ne would call
to know her decision. Shortly, how
ever, before the hour he had intended
to set out on his errand, the merchant
received from his beloved billet dou1
to the following effect: "Of the dresses
you have sent like one quite as well
as the other. will, in fact, keep both,
so that you have no need to call.
SWELL" said the proprietor of sea-
side hotel to his chief clerk, sit is about
time we were thinking about needed
improvements. ''What are you 60
ing to do in that line?" asked the clerk.
Let me see," answered the proprie-
tor, meditatively; 'we must air all our
mattresses, the kitchen will have to be
whitewashed. four of our six bathing
suits need patching and there will have
to be new button put on the ladies'
bath house door. 1t seems to me we
are never done with expense" d"
"Mr. Schmidt" said German gen.
tleman yesterday. as he entered Pitts
burg merchants office. "Mister
Schmidt, haf der schmall pox-"
"Great heavens! Mr.. Schneider" was
the hurried reply. don't come here, !"
and the clerks rapidly disappeared in
various directions. "Vot's der madder
nit you fellers anyhowp' pursued
Schneider. Il haf der small pox full
of butter oud in mine wagon vot der
Mrs. Schmidt ortered last wick al
reaty." Explanations and cigars fol-
lowed.
If you are poor there is one consola-
tion. Your heirs will not go into court
| to prove that YOU were an imbecilc dur
ing your childhood. an idiot at the
time of your marriage, and n gibber-
ing lunatic for years before you died.
For there are people in this world. for
whose existence God has some all-suf.
cient reason that is wisely hidden from
mankind, who just love 10 rush into
the courtroom and the newspapers to
prove such things about their rich
fathers. They can't always prove them,
but they try their best. And yet there
are some people who think there is nc
world better or more perfect than this
one. e.-Has0keye.
The Providence Journal says of the
high opinion held of himself by the
boy who has reached 16, the last stage
of boyhood. There is no question Of
which he has not u confident and all
disposing Judgment. Why, if we were
all 16, there would be no need of Con
gress nor of the Supreme Bench. We
should each know it all. In religion
his opinions arc equally decisive. Blu
do not understand me, my friends, tina
in making fun of the boy, ut this OF
any other period of his life. l mean tt
deprecate or discourage his aspirations
Far from it. I would not give Il penny
for the boy Of sixteen who did not Try
to be man."
| The laws advantage: Young doctor
-"Hello, John, how are you gettin!
along?" Young lawyer-''I have onl,
secured about 81 dozen clients so far
but they ali stick TO me, SO SHOULD
not complain Young doctor-'No
indeed, you should not complain. Tha
is the advantage OF being lawyer.
wish ha0 studied law instead of med
icine." Young lawyer" Indeed, hav
you failed TO get patien,s9" Youn!
doctor-"Well, nc. have had prett,
good luck getting patients, but the.
don't stick" Young lawyer-"Why
that?" Young doclor--"I don't know
They just die off. -
There is story current Of q quarter
master at frontier reservation pos