davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
BRIGHT BITS.

a RELIGIOUS JoKB.-Paul did not live IN
clover, but he cultivated Timothy with good
success.-Christidn Register.
"OH, I'm so fond of squash" exclaimed
young Crlmsonbeak when he was taking din
ner with Miss Fussanfeather. II thOuChf so ,,
returned the lady; ''it's just like Won, 3-Yoaa-
keTS Statesman,
"FIsH?" asked the waiter of a country
visitor at the seaside hotel. s.WaT. dunno 3
was the reply; ''wait till get suthin' ter eat
fishin' .''-BOStoa BuEletin
THE Chinese fill the heads of their idols with
water up to their eyes, and then put in live
nsn. Inc hopping of the fish causes the water
70 trlckIe out like tears. Hence the express
slon' Iears, IDOL tears. y Philadelphia CAL.
A REAL ESTATE AGENT, whose wife had
just dled, commissioned a marble dealer to
carve stone with a suitable inscription In
due time he received the following: 'sMary
<, etc. Up one flight. "-Bur1ia0toa Free
Press.
"4AH, Mr.. Popinjay! presume that you
Islingford- by the-Sea" "Oh, no, ma'am. /
expect to take my family to my brothers.
Farm blythe Frog-Pond. "-Burzin0ton Free
Press.
WHAT do you call your dog, Georgie?"
asked the visitor pleasantly. psalm" said
george. "Ihats funny name for dog"
the caller said, 1'Why do you call it Psalm?"
And the boy explained that he did so because
the dog wasn't hymn.
CONDUCTOR (contemptuousIy)- "Wot's this?"
assenger-"My ticket book" Conductor
faint good on this road Passenger lOok-
ing at the book, discovers that he has handed
out his Testament by mistake)-''No, l should
say you had no use for it here. "-Bost0n Tran
script.
LADIES are informed by a fashion writer
that it VIII be entirely proper during the COM
ing season for them to stand up in street cars,
as pinbacks will be so tight in the autumn
dresses that sitting down Will be uncomforta-
BILE, as well as almost impossible CEe0elGRd
Leader.
''MY FRIEND" said teetotaller, placing
his hand on the tippler's arm, beware of the
enemy in that glass. Rum has leveled many
a man much stronger than you" SAN right
replied the depraved man with q leer, "all
right. but didn't the man get the rum down
hrst?'-Bo8Co11 Transcript.
CITY COUsINs-We are having such a nice
time here this summer. We shall have to
come every summer. The farm is such
lovely place for the children. Farmer John
-Ahem! City cOusins-How nice it is to have
relations. Don't you think relations are
blessings, Cousin John? Farmer John--Um!
All, Yes, of course. That's what the poet
- - IN" know. City cQusins-The poet9
Farmer John-Yes. He says, 't.8-SinES
brighten as they take their ght."-PhiEa-
GeLphid CAL.
LIFE knows no winter when the heart Is light;
Tho skies are gray, and dull the waning
year,
Mid cloud and gloom the world is fair and
bright;
For all is summer when one smile IS here.
Life knows no summer when the heart is sad;
Though skies are blue, and fields with YER
dure grown,
Can song or blossom make the world seem
All no! tits winter when one smile is flown.
Emma Carleton, In the Current.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

In the Medical Reports of the InsDoo.0.
General of Customs in China. DIR. Macgo,ro,
gives an amusing account of some of the ro-
puted poisonous animals Of that country and
of superstitions connected with them Ha
speakss OF the terrapin as the three footed. the
ed-iooted, slngle-eJed, sunken-eved etc ta0
which are not to be eaten. The three and
four-toed terrapin may be eaten, but the Ave
toed, which are transformed snakes. and tbe
six-toed, which are transformed scornjons 'is as
the people believe, are fatal poisons to those
VINO eat them. But for thorough business
ha0lts In WI eked animal the three LEGGED
terrapin has the first place if the follow19ine
statement be true: "a man Of T'aitsan%' org or7
ae t.I ms Wlle TO cook three-legged terra
pin, which he ate and went to bed. soon AZ
terWard he was changed to blood and water
MS mar alone remaining. The neighbors
suspected foul play, and informed the maris-
trate. lie ordered a condemned prisoner To
eat on one OF the tripedal eephalonians. This
ne dlu; ian ana IN, IN the morning the Judge in
ted the widow Of the other man."
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

America as easily as it comes from Posen
or Austria or France. We have a law
that pork must be examined for disease.
If America will examine her own pork
officially before she sends it here, there
viii be no trouble. Our people eat ham
raw, and it should be examined. Our
own pork is examined before it can be
sold. We treat Americans precisely as
we treat our own people,"
''What was the matter with Minister
Sargentp' / asked.
'There was no especial trouble. Minis
ter Sargent, in letters published in
America, questioned the integrity of the
German Government. He intimated that
we examined American pork to stop it's
XportatiOn-not to carry out a German
law. He questioned the integrity of Ger
man motives. The German Government
claims to be just. Our people did not
like to have their integrity questioned. If
you go into the market you will see
American pork to-day. 1t has been in
spected. We do not inspect it to keep
1T out of Germany, but to carry
out wise law, made for the health of our
people. If the United States will inspect
pork to be shipped to Germany, we will
not reinspect il. We will take the word
of the United States that it is healthful
meat"
My talk with Prince Won Bismarck
would fill a column, tut 1 have no space
for more of it.
POOR GERMAN GIRLS.
The girls in Germany outnumber the
boys by several millions. This, and the
fact that many men are too poor to mar
ry, leaves about 100000 women who
have to remain single. The rich girls get
married, but the poor ones stay single,
and are forced to shame or hard labor.
In Munich no young man is permitted to
marry until he has proved to the authori-
ties that he is able to support a wife. If
children are born and the parents cannot
support them, the State holds the city
authorities responsible for their MAIN
tenance. When an unmarried German
woman becomes old and poor, she is mis-
cradle indeed. She cannot starVe, so she
carries burdens in the street. Often she
is hitched like a horse to a big wagon,
and does a beasts work. Happy, indeed,
ought young lady to feel when her good
fate has permitted her to be born in
America! ELI PERKINS.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The New York Graphic makes a Demo-
cratic member OF Congress talk as follows:
"DO you know that every workingman
in this country is Oyertaxed SO a year by
the government? The annual surplus left
in the Treasury after paying all expenses
is say, 500, OO0,0 or little over. There
are 80, 200, 900 people in the United States;
of these 2j,00O,OOO are women, O,00O, 900
children and old people unable to do any
work, and about 5,OOO,OO are capitalists,
gamblers and such like non-producers.
This leaves 10000, 600 able-bodied prOduc-
ers, who support all the rest. Now all the
taxes come out Of the pockets Of these
10000, 600, and if there is 500, OOO, 900 IN
necessarily taken from the people these
men have to pay it. They therefore pay $40
apiece per annum for no other purpose
than to lie idly in the Treasury at Wash
ingtOn constant temptation to our law
makers and all the jObbers and schemers
who thrive at the capital. The over-tax-
alton is more than 1 have stated in some
years, and as the government expendl-
lures are steadily diminishing the annual
surplus is growing large. II an attempt
is made TO put stop TO this sort Of thing
by lowering the taxes, as by a tariff re-
vision, the cry is raised all over the coun-
try that our national industries are
threatened, and Congress gets frightened
and Is afraid to pass the bill. No wonder
there is a panic in Wall street when our
commercial laws are interfered with in
this way.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
Monroe Female College,
FORSYTH, GEORGIA.

THIS Institution opens again its portals and
invites 70 Is halls the votaries OF learning
A beautiful edifee has been erected. corps
OF experiences instructors has been organized,
and the efforts Of this institution will be gwen
again TO the Improvement of daughters thai
may become. the wives and mothers hereafter
TO adorn the higher walks Of social life.
W lth Inc record in the past; with natural,
social and;moral surroundings favorable; with
rates reasonable, the Institution enters AGAIN
ing Its claims to distinction and merit. The
next session will begin Sept. /, 1884. For fur
Their Information apply 70
r. t. ASBURY, President.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The frequency with which the RepubU
can managers run up to Maine to consult
with their nominee is pretty good evil
dence that they are very much worried
about something. 1t is surmised that
they are laying some deep schemes for the
stealing Of the Presidency again in case
the necessity and opportunity for such a
crime should arise.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
Doomed to Defeat.

Ne1o YOrb World (Deha.I.
The Republicans see the handwriting on Inc
wall. Their insane personal attacks on Gov;
Cleveland; their desperate but not successful
efforts to raise a corruption iunu' tnelr par
gains with Butler; their appeal to the Pro-
hibitionists as the only hope OF saving blalne $
own State; the deafness Of their canVass-all
irdinatn Hat they are dnnmed TO deteaL.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The people of New York are having a
craze for utilizing the roofs OF their
houses for gardens, skating Kinks, etc.
One large tenement now building is to
have the restaurant on the roof. 1t is
predicted that eventually the roofs of
New York will excel in beauty the
famed hanging gardens of Babylon.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
The Eighth Georgia ReuniOh-Letter
fran Col Il


Much interest is manifested in the proposed
reunion Of the Eighth Regiment o. Georgia
Volunteers. A number of members of the
regiment have signifed their approval of
holding meeting of the old soldiers at an
early day, and it is more than -obable that
the movement will in a few days axe a def
mite form. The following letter from Col. J. .
r. To ers, of Rome, Ca, who VS. the Colo
mel Ia in command of the Eighth, will be
read h interest:
ROME, GA, Aug. %, 1854.
Col. j. II. Estill, Savannah, Ca:
DEAR COLONEL-I notice in the MORNING
NEWS of Aug. IA a communication from Mr..
J. j. Griffin, a surviving membero Of the Eighth
Georgia Regiment, suggesting a reunion of
the survivors of that command. 1 presume
this suggestion will meet with a hearty ap-
proval, and hope arrangements will be per-
fected so that the old members will have the
pleasure of coming together early this fall.
AS the Colonel last in command of the
Eighth, please allow me to make the follow
ing additional suggestions: That the reunion
be held during the month of next October,
and as soon after the State election as prac-
ticable; that Savannah be selected as the city
in which the same shall be held, she having
given to the Eighth the gallant Barlow, the
first Colonel to lead the brave boys of the
regiment into battle.
Feeling assured of the many pleasures
awaiting the meeting of our command, re-
main, yours very truly,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Some of the Republican papers COM
plain that young John Logan's lying is
being made an issue in the campaign. 1t
is not an issue, but it is a circumstance
which goes to show to what a wicked
fathers example may bring a precocious
Nnnnnstnr
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
CURRENT COMMENT.
Storm Signals Ordered Up

The plumed knights appeals for sym l,.a IIa
are buTniIiating. And now comes the grave a. =
Yard sensation. Anything but the issue Is =, y
be kent before the people if Blame can en- h@ tbe
his way. But he cannot. LOOK ouo " Sgoina
next unusual depression on the COAST VI ~ '''A-0
storm signaIs are ordered up.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The youth who broke his arm in the
noble effort to learn how to pitch a curved
ball ought to sympathise with the Penn
sylYania candidate who broke his arm
shaking hands with one of the dear peo-
pie.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
Rntler,s CROSS Fire.
chicago Tribune (Rep.).

Chicd00 Tribune (hep'J'
tits unnecessary for Republicans TO disc !n5
the document. Its heavy guns are dlrecteu
| at the Democrats, and they must prepa4iIIe
themselves as well as they can against tll19
merciless cross fire. 1t is breezy uocuIn Gu,
for them to consider, and will prove enter
tanning reading for them these hot days.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The professional colored base baIIists
are having no better success than the fe-
male do-dOs. A Philadelphia eIuD was
stranded in Washington city Thursday,
and were forced to take the peoples line
over the cross-ties for home.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

some OF the papers are beginning to
calculate how much it costs the govern
ment 10 salute the rising and setting of
the sun at the different military stations
OF the Union. The time-honored custom
runs up powder bill against Uncle sam
Of about $4,000 year, and fit does the
sun or the government any good the fact
has not been recorded.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
Some INTERPRETATIONS.

Chicago Meas (lnG.J'
The fact that Gen. Logan has rented a mouse
in Washington is cited as evidence that ne eA-
poets to be elected Vice President. he may
come out like George Francis Iraln' VINO sem en-
child to be born might be thus ade ellg1ole
to the Presidency of the United States but
W. a Girl
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The Chinese are not rapidly becoming
Christianized, but it appears that after
having been smitten on one cheek by the
French they are turning the other one to
the smiters.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Brewers who adulterate their beer in
Bavaria are heavily fined. This is a free
country, and brewers, distillers and rec
filters are allowed to poison as many peo-
pie as viii drink their productions.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The Turin bakers who sell their products
by the yard would pay literally for a
recipe for making elastic bread, and the
boarding house keepers would like for it
20 be gum elastic.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Gen. Logan is evidently greatly excited
over the political situation. He is flying
wildly over the country very much after
the manner of panic stricken sailor on
sinking ship. He sees where the leak is,
but he can only rave around the deck, and
has no power to save the ship,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

An Iowa widow is an earnest opponent
iof divorce laws, although she has put
away eleven husbands. They all sleep
under the daisies.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Gen. Hawley is not typical Republic
can. He is jealous enough, ana perhaps
INSCRIPTIONS enough, but he is not
recognized as one of the shrewd and shin
ing lights Of the party. He went to Brook
lyn Tuesday night for the purpose of
answering Carl Schurz' great indie
pendent speech. After painfully remain
ing on the defensive, putting in general
denials to the charges against Blaine, the
General was called upon to say some
thing about the ''Dear Fisher'' letters.
He was obliged to admit that lit is true
that he Blaine wrote to Mr.. Fisher that
he had made a decision interesting to his
road. Now, wish he hadn't said that.
1t would have been better if he hadn't
connected his private business with his
public business" The New York papers
are now urging the Democratic Commit
tee to employ Gen. Hawley to canvass the
State.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

The Northern Methodists are having
perhaps the largest camp meeting ever
held at Ocean Grove, n. j. The atten-
dance Wednesday was estimated at at
least 10000. People are in attendance
from Maine to California, and it is
claimed that over 100 persons have been
converted since the meeting began. The
cottages and tents constitute a very re-
spectacle city, which is situated in shady
grove on the sea shore, the beach con-
stituting grand drive and promenade.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

A diplomatic tilt between Bismarck and
Gladstone would attract good deal more
attention than the Tom Ochiltree incident
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Chiseled velvet is the latest fashionable
folly, and it will be extensively worn the
coming winter. 1t will not be chiseled
half as much as the people who buy it.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Mr.. Daniel, the Prohibition candidate
Tor Vice President, takes different view
Of Cleveland's letter of acceptance from
the other opposition candidates. He said
Thursday: 1T has the merit of being
brief, and is a good letter, especially as
compared with those Of Blaine and But
Ter, whose sole object seemed to get in in
ducements to all the world and rest Of
mankind to vote for them
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Cincinnati papers are crying for
The drought is becoming serious.
good time for them to profit by
,ie Of Dives and Lazarus.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Mr.. Hendricks has never been accused
Of being a witty writer, and yet "brevity
is the soul of wit"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

A Chicago man named Paul POpulorum
allied last week. He is only very slightly
related TO vOx pOpuli.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
educational.
educational.
Georgia Military Academy
SAVANNAH.
Law DEPARTMENT.

B. u BURGESS, spperintendert.
EDWARD CANTWELl, LIB,
(HaTV2rd) Professor.
DAILY instruction.. in Commercial and
~ constitutional. Law, Lectures, Mock
Courts, Jury Trials. Degrees conferred. Law
students other thaRcadets wear no Uniform
and exempt from military discipline. Nine
months tuition, $50. For further particulars
address as above
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Prove This for Yourself.
One great truth told in two lines: Ben
sons Capcine Porous Plasters are better
than all others. % cents.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

J. c. GOODRICH, Northern Advertising
Manager Of the DAILY MORNING NEWS and
WEEKLY NEWS, sun Building, New York.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
ADVERTISING.


Ten lines make a square, line averages
seven words. Advertisements, per square,
enc insertion, 81 90; two insertions, 81 80;
three insertions, 81 go; six insertions, s. 90.
Local or Reading Notices double above rates.
Reduced rates on continued advertisements.
Amusement advertisements 81 80 per square.
Auction advertisements, Marriages, Funerals
Meetings and Special Notices 81 90 per
square each insertion.
Wants. Boarding, For Rent. Lost and Found,
10 cents line. No advertisement inserted
under these headings for less than 30 cents.
Special rates for Weekly Fetcs.
We do not insure the insertion of any adyer-
tiseEent on any specified day or days, nor
do we insure the number of insertions
within the time required by the advertiser
Advertisements viii, however, have their
full mum Der Of insertions when the time
can be made up, but when accidentally
left out and the number of insertions can
not be given, the money paid for the omit
ted insertions will be returned to the adj
vertiser. All letters should be addressed
j. III. ESIIII. Savannah, Ga.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24
8aarninn.

Boarding.
BOARD reduced at Catoosa Springs, Ga.
G7 PER WEEK for best hotel apartments
at Catoosa Springs.
96 PER WEEK for clean, quiet cottages
at Catoosa Springs.
SOUTHERN Boarders wanted; first-claas
~ rooms, with or without board; central To-
cation; terms moderate. Address us and 252
west Twenty-fourth street. New York city.
9iti0mifFrg.
AIRS. FRANCESCA DITTNEAN. Graduated
WI Midwife, No. 35 Drayton street, corner
President street, Savannah, Ca.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

WANTED, to make contract by Sent
w Win either wholesale or retail bpp1,.da
as travelling salesman, city salesman s s,TIuse
man or clerk; the very best of references fro21
one Of the best houses in Savannah. Adam ioln
x. this office. Nuless
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

WANTED, by two%oung gents. furnish-,
w room and board in private family S,itI
home comforts; state terms. BOARDFtREn
this office. En-,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

wrote history of the Franco Prussian
war, which was published by Carleton in
1872. A copy of this history, with a note
to Bismarck, brought an invitation to can
at his house, which is opposite my hotel
(the Kaiser Hof). Bismarck has a
'princely residence. He is much respect
ed by the Prussians. His photograph is
In every window, and his bust, with Won
Moltke's and Won Rooms, is in every gal
lery.
Bismarck received me in his private
library. He was surrounded with books.
and his big dog, ever present, lay at his
feet. After talking some time about the
late war, asked Bismarck what was the
trouble about the importation of pork
from America.
There is nothing the matter" said the
Minister "Pork comes to Germany from
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

Registered az the Poet OFoe ia SaUaandA as
SecO1d class Nal Natter.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-24

SUNDAY. AUGUST "a, 1884.
Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-12-05
A Novel Pass.

Hon. n. Richardson, one Of the old
wheel horses Of the Republican party
in Northern Minnesota, has received
the following novel ''pass' from Il
sympathetic friend in Chicago. 1t is
printed in the style Of an ordinary
transportation pass, and on: the face Of
it is the following;
The old steamer Republican will, for
the first time in "a years, sail up Salt
river, under the charge Of the most
magnet captain Of the age, James G..
Blaine. First mate, John A. Logan
Steward in charge OF the spoons, Benz.
+. Butler. Barkeeper, John P. St.
John, ?. c. Chambermaid, Belva
Lockwood. Pass Hon. N. Richa rdson,
Judge Of Probate, from Little Falls to
Salt Lake; account Of rum, Roman
ism and Rebellion" Excursion Or
ganized Nov I, 1854 Will sail March
4, 1885, Music-Long Jones band, to
the popular air, "Whe Will. Fill My
Office Now" No stop-over allowed
The Cant, Cant will be danced on the
trip. Refrain by all hands-Ma, ma,
where's my pa? Gone to the White
House, ha ha ha !"