The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1884-12-27
SIDE DISHES.

mo, ma'am!" " exclaimed the pro-
yoked Young man to young lady,
who. on the refusal Of her favorite,
had asked him to accompany her to
a party; II don't play second
fiddler" to any one" "No one
ASKED you to play second fiddle"
replied the girl with q smile; 81
only asked you to be my beau."-,
Yonkers Statesman.
Miss Roseleaf (who is trying to
force conversation) What do you
suppose, Mr.. Van Noodle, makes our
hostess's receptions 80 invariably
stupid?" Mr.. Van Noodle-"Aw,
weally. l haven't a ghost of an
other gentleman are very much like
you. Yes; that must be the reason"
-Hurvard Lan.poon.
A frog fell into d pail of milk In 4
Connecticut town recently, and ia
the morning was found sitting upon
q roll OF butter. A local paper says
that 1.-THE sole explanation is that
in trying to extricate himself. he
had, soy diligent and continuous
strokes Of his hind legs. churned the
milk into butter" If fGeOrge Wash
ing ton was editor of that paper no
such item would have appeared.
They hai been quarreling about his
next summers clothes. She wants
to have his light suit cleaned for
1885, and he wanted heavier suit.
WHATS the use of quarreling about
this?' he said finally. II may be in
the cemetery next summer" Il
think" she replied, "you will need
your summer clothes, wherever you
may be. ."-Graphic.
A certain Nevada judge, who has
been great scamp years before his
accession to the bench. recogrizlng
an old acquaintance in prisoner
brought tefore him. and supposing
himself safe from recognition, asked
the pr sOncr what had become of the
companions of his early life OF crime.
The reply was, "They are all hanged,
your honor, except you and me-"
Eyes, brethren" says the clergy
man who is preaching the funeral
sermon. "Our deceased brother was
cut down in single nigtt-torn
from the arms of his loving wife who
IS thus lett di>consoiate widow at
the early age of twenty-four years"
''Twenty-two, if you please" sobs
the widow, in the front pew, emerg-
ing from her handkerchief for an in
stant.-- Paris Figaro.
Burchard's Good Luck.
My fortune gave ME chance to
dine out with u New York clergy
man the other evening. DIR. Bur-
chard and his alliterative oratory
Came on with the soup for discus
sion.
1T was most unfortunate remark,
that rum, Romanism, and rebellion"
quoth one.
"Very," assented the second.
Very" it unquestionably cost MIR.
Blaine his electIon."
Poor Burcbard." sighed a third;
"he must feel dreadfuily cut up over
the sad affair"
Then somebody laughed. 1t was
the reverend host. "And this" said
he:" 1t was the greatest hit Of Dr.
Burchard's life. 1t has given him
uoVHpudA ACPulaVlOA AO1 OuO VAAAAs
and for another 1t gives him chance
to swell his purse into comfortable
proportions"
"How ?"ej acutated No. l and No.
2 and No. 8 in concert, How?'
they were aghast. Did this speaker
mean tD intimate that Buruhard, D.
D., was venal and had beeu hired to
put the Maine man IN the hole?
"How?' repeated the preacher.
why just this way: l know of two
or three lecture bureaus that are bid
ding against one an, ther to take him
'hrougn the country. He was offered
500 night t. begin with; he can get
Two or three times that now, and for
a long engagement too, If he would
only consent. Will he take ii?
Nc; don't think he will, DIR. Bur-
chard isn't the happiest parsOn In
the land today. He is sensitive,
and Ibis constant printing Of his
name in the newspapers jars upon
his nerves.-N. Y. Times.