Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-01-02
PLEASANTRIES.


brought the luncheon basket-"NaI
The cooark wadna come ootP'-London
Punch.
1T was young lady who brought her
timid sutton to her feet in one of our
Bay state villages by working the
motto, Sc need thee every hour" and
sending it to her lover as birthday
present. The result was q wedding fee
for her pastor.
FATHER" said a bright lad, ST
think I'll become minister when grow
up" "What puts that idea in your
head, my boy?" asked the astonished
parent. So Because, dad, [ notice that
ma always kills chicken whenever the
minister eats here"
He was a very thoroughly reformed
gambler, and they were glad to elect him
deacon of the church; bus on the very
first Sunday that he assisted in taking
up the collection, when he met the
senior deacon up by the chancel, he
whispered softly: "Bet you fifty even
that I've raked the biggest pot"
81 AM passionately fond Of flowers"
said Miss Fussanfeather to Algernon,
the other evening. 81 always have
some kind of a flower about me-"
"Well, I can tell you," replied the de-
voted Algernon, "that you must have
had mighty mean kind of flower on
last night, for I have worked on the
lapel of my coat for an hour, and I
haven't got it all off yet. y Yonker8
Statesman.
81 DECLARE" exclaimed Fogg at the
end of dreary wait at the theater, CT
didn't think it was so long as that. How
time flies, doesn't it ?" What the
dickens are you talking about ?" ex-
claimed his mystifed companion.
a" Why" says Fogg, "the bill says
twelve years are supposed TO elapse
between the first and second acts, but I
never would have believed it. It didn't
seem nearly so long as that. "-Bostom
Transcript.
A GENTLEMAN apparently attempting
the feat of escorting a lamp post was ar
rested by ali officer and taken to the sta
ton house. Upon recovering his So
briefly he explained to the sergeant that
he thought he was leaning against his
wife, and that she was leading him
home. "Do you mean to say that you
couldn't tell the difference between your
wife and lamp post ?" eyes," said
the prisoner, meekly, "my wife is a
Boston woman"
CLUB man to other club man: "What
is all this celebrating that is going on
about Luther, you know?" Other club
man: "Why, he lived four hundred
years ago aud reformed, or some
thing of that kind, you know"
First club man: "But what about his
diet of worms ?" Other club man:
doctors prescribed it, I suppose"
First club man, convinced: OhP'
Other club man, encouraged: "Of
course! '-B08tOn Gazette.
DUMBFoUNDED: "Now," said the
irate mother to her family of one boy
and four girls, who had been misbehav-
ing themselves, I" am going to whip
you all, !" and she seized on Jimmie to
receive the first instalLment of the chas-
tisement. Mother" said Jimmie,
"ladies first, always" The old lady
was SO struck with this application of
her own instruction that she did not
strike any of the children, but let them
off that time.-Oit City Derrick.
He was serenading his girl, but had
not reached the end of the first line of
SiAO OC1OOUAOAg ASb hit L1h0 q OO1OlSI
Fall, when a window was raised, the
cleaning barrel of musket and an old
bald head we're pOked out, and husky
voice exclaimed, "All right, young man;
everybody in this house is perfectly rec
onciled, so here goes" But he didn't
shoot, for the young man had left, sud-
denly remembering that be didn't have
his fall clothes on Cincinnati Satatr-
dag Naght.
ETHEL Look = look, Dorothy /!
There's Richard Marvel % Dorothy
Country cousin(-'' Richard Marvel?
Who is hep" Ethel" What, never
heard of Richard Marvel ! Why, he's
the actor, you know, at the Parthenon!"
Dorothy" Oh, an actor, is he Hes
something like Mr.. Osbaldistone Smith"
Ethel :" Who's Mr.. Osbaldistone
Smith ?" Dorothy =" What never
heard of Mr.. Obaldistone Smith Why,
he's the greatest breeder of shorthorns
in all Cumberland"-Lo London Punch.
"MR. BEAVER" said a downtown
merchant to his halter, the other day,
" that Derby you sent up to the house
was two sizes too large for me. My
number is t." EXACTLY" said the
tiIe-seller, ''but I understood you to
say you wanted hat to wear in the
morning." $50 I did; what of it."
+" Why, you are member of the Pacific
Club, amt you % &c Certainly" ''Just
so. All the dress hats we sell your mem
bers are the proper size, but, you see, IN
the morning = well-ahem they all
want little larger hat for morning
wear; don't you see ?" The customer
saw.-S01l Francisco Post.
A LOVE story: Miss Rosalie Roseleif,
who is beautiful and sentimental, was
sitting one summer evening with Hollis
on the veranda. The moon
was shining brilliantly. Silence lad
rejgned for some moments, when Rosa
lie, who, as the books say, was not a
thousand miles away from Hollis rur-
pie cravat, looked up suddenly inhis
face and sighed, 81 must go in at tel; is
it ten yet?" No, dear, said he, look-
ing at his watch, sit is only ten min
utes of ten." A soft, resttul expression
spread over Rosalie's face at these Eods,
and she said, then we may stay lere
ten minutes more; ten precious Minutes