Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-31
ABSENT-MINDED WOMEN.
Jokes on the Gentle Creatures who
Forget Themselves Sometimes and
Do Ridiculous hfngs
Chicago Tribune.

But speaking of absent-minded
people" said West.Sdcr, women
beat the nation at that. There is my
wife, one of the most careful and most
level-headed women in the world.
But enc night last winier we went to
large party and we both for special
reasons were more than anxious to
appear we'll. My wife was greatly
concerned about me, as l am the alb
sent minded member of the family,
and looked me over critically and
carefully after left the coat room
and before we went down stairs. She
was herself all right of counse, and
was superbly dressed. We went
down in high feather and had passed
through the parlors and had spent a
delightful half hour on parade duty
as it were, when my wife suddenly
turned pale in what I thought was
fainting fit. | hurried her from the
room, and was about to turn the
house upside down in search of res
toratives, when she clutched nv
sleeve and pointed to her feet. She
had before leaving home drawn over
her shoes pair of my socks and had
forgotten to remove them. The
thought that she had been parading
before 800 people with those socks Oh
was too much for her."
\ South Slider VINO had listened to
this said, after indulging in q con-
tented little chuckle: MY wife tells
almost as good a story as that on her
self. She is, as everybody Knows
who knows her st all, very particular
about her dress, and she grieves over
spot on my coat or a la Of polish
on Eay shoes with grief that will not
be comfoEted She went down street
showing On one occasion this spring,
and on trying on bonnets became a
little disturbed over the fact that none
of the new shapes suited her face.
She therefore picked up her parasol,
walked out of the store, called on
very aristocratic acquaintance, am
then came home. A glance in the
hall glass showed that she had no
bonnet on. She had taken it OFF to
try on the new ones and. as she ex-
pressed it, had been parading along
the streets with nothing on her head
but a small veil across her forehead.
She didn't scold about, the spots on
my coat for a week"
Il have better story than that, ;"
said a superintendent of one of the
departments at Fields. "Not lsng
ago a fashionably dressed lady came
IN early, and in the course of her bar
gaining put her parasol on the counter
near a large feather buster which one
of the clerks had been using After
making some purchases the lady
caught up the buster instead of her
parasol and went out hurriedly. AS
soOn as [ discovered the mistake sent
a boy after her with the parasol, but
he cid not overtake her until she had
made quite journey.
I'm fact she fourished the feather
buster along the street, fourlshed it
about as she went into another store,
and put it down on the counter, still
under the Impression that it was a
parasol. When her purchases In the
second store were made, she turned to
pick up her parasol, and seeing the
feather buster, asked for her parasol.
The clerk explained that she had not
brought any parasol in, but had como
IN carrying the buster. She was
supremacy indignant at such an in
tlmation, and was delivering the clerk
a sharp lecture on the subject when
IN came our boy with her parasol ana
an explanation. She was SO over
come that she had to be sent home in
a carriage"