The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1884-10-18
Getting Up in the Morning.

When we consider the great I'M
provements that have been made IN
hotels the past fifteen years, the
wonder is that no inspired person
has devised scheme for awaking
guests who desire to take an early
morning train, without waking eve.
~ body on the Same floor There
seems to have been no improvement
in waking people in the last thou
sand years. At the ancient Roman
hotels the porter pounded on the
door of room 240 with his muck les
or an iron key OF anything until the
galoot that wanted to be called roll
cd over and yawned few tunes and
answered "Hello," when the porter
would yell at is half past four, -"
and the guest would say Gall right"
and fire himself into his pants, hi
the water pitcher against the wash
bowl with sound that would go
through the next half dozen rooms
grab his gripsack and go out into
the hall and slam the door, and go
down stairs whlstlng: dts five
o'clock in the morning" And the
same thing is done now, only the
parties make moro noise, and the
guests swear little. Every other
guest for half block each way, is
awakened and IS mad. 1t is singu.
lar, but when porter attempts to
awake the man who is TO be called
that man Is the last one on the floor
that wakes up. Everybody else
hears the noise but the man that
ought to hear 1t sleeps on in bliss
full Ignorance that panel is being
kicked out of his door, and when he
does wake up he is always mad,
though he has nothing to get mad
about. 1t is the other guests that
have a right to get mad. Every.
thing about the first class hotels Of
the present day is perfect except the
method OF awakening early guests.
That is still as great q nuisance as
the old fashioned candles, and the
insane rule of paying in advance,
that once molested some of the best
guests. A guest at Chicago hotel
who had been awakened hundreds OF
times when other doors were being
pounded on, waited TO get up at
five o'clock last Monday morning,
and be decided that he would not
cause all the other guests to be an
neyed, 30 he told the clerk that he
was going to hitch rope to his an
kle when he retired, and the end
of 1t over the transom, and wanted
the porter instructed to pull on the
rope at five o'clock until he got an
answer, and not to pound on the
door. The clerk said that would be
ali right and the man retired. The
clerk told a party of young men
boarders OF the singular request OF
the guest and they thought it very
original. They went out to the the
atre and got full of wine, and whom
they passed the sleeping guests
room at one o'clock in the morning
they saw the rope hanging over the
transom, they thought it no more
than right to see how the new idea
would work, so four OF them took
hold of the rope and began to pull
They heard heavy body seem to
be walking over the foot board OF
the bed on its back, heard sheets
rip and night shirt tear, aud they
kept pulling, and the heavy body
struck tho floor and a voice began
to swear and yell "Murder" and
"Fire" and they pulled away until
the heavy body seemed 10 be climb
Jog up the door, feet first, on the IN.
side, and the voice said: "All right
am mp" But they kept pulling
until one leg of man came over
the transom and the other was
kicking the door, and tho voice was
using language that was not admis-
slble in polite society. The young
men then tied tho rope to the door
knob and retired TO their rooms,
leaving the man hanging head
downward and one leg out In the
hall. The man yelled until the watch.
man came, and he thought 1t was
case OF suicide, and he cut the rope
and tho heavy body fell to the floor
when the clerks and manager of the