The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-11-15
Some Church Characters.
Bob Burdette Points Out Who and What
They Are.
Washington Republican.

Washington Republican.
iffo, ooIu ,I.~-.S,urnSu IifoofUI1dry
to the poor heather whom he had brought
over, 'is church.
And the poor heather greatly admir-
ed the church. By and by he asked:
'Who is the fat man with the big
watch seal, who looks at the church as
though he thought some of putting on a
$50 bay window and raising the rent
$500 yeare'
THAT is a trustee said the return
ed missionary.
'He does most of the praying, I sup
pose?' said the poor heather, who in
his blindness knows very little about
the way we do these things.
NO. said the returned missionary,
'he doesn't believe in praying: he is
Bob Ingersoll man, and believes that
nobody doesn't know nothing, and that
they know that he knows they DON'T
This gentleman is not a member of
the church, but he is good, clear
headed business man, good mana
ger, strong on real estate deals, and so
he is a trustee. Doesn't take much of
a Christian to be a trustee, except in
the country. In town a church only
wants good business man for trustee.
'Ard who is the man who stands in
the door and glares at the people as
they pass in and tries to keep them out2
asked the poor heathen.
This is the sexton, replied the mis-
s;onary. 'IEe doesn't believe in open
ing the church for religious services at
all. He says the church was built to
have swell weddings in, and that for
preaching and prayer-meetings and
other side shows of that nature the trus-
tees should hire hail.
who is that very young man who
pushes people out of the way that ne
may have room to pass in, and stoops
very low as he enters the 2o-foot door,
and sits directly under the steeple lest
he should strike his head when he stands
up?'
That said the returned missionary,
lis the new Superintendent of the Sun
dav-school. They are all that way at
first. By and by, when he has forgot
ten every line of his beautiful speech,
when there are distinguished strangers
present, when he has started the wrong
tune to an entirely strange hymn, and
correcting himself by striking the right
tune on key so high that the chimes
of Normandy couldn't ring second bass
to it, when he has funked, fair, square
and outright, on the first ten questions
in his question box, he will know less
by ton than he does now, and be a
good, useful, earnest, and humble Su.
perintendent. He's only young and
new, like an August persimmon.
sHere comes the owner of the
church. the poor heathen said. He
looks as though he had decided to make
pemmican of the sexton and trustee,
and not hold any service to-day
mo, that is not exactly the owner OF
the church, the returned missionary
said 'that is the leader of the choir
sWho is that meek, timid little man
who is trying to creep in without letting
the sexton see him, and who has just
taken off his hat to the leader of the
choir7'
ooh, that is only the pastor of the
church, the returned missionary re-
piled. 'Will you go inside7'
And the poor heather said he would,
because he rather guessed from their
looks the sexton and the leader of the
choir had made up their minds to settle
that morning which of the two should
take the church and run it.