Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-30
BRIGHT BITS.

A SECLUDED sPOT-The ace up your sleeve.
Life.
ELECTROMAGNETIC Dictionary. Well back
ed up-The Dromedary.-Puck.
THE young men at the seashore don't seem
to be benefited by the change of air. They
are, If anything, so young lady informs US,
fresher than ever.-BOstOn IrdnscrtDt.
A YOUNG GENTLEMAN who does a great deal
Of hugging outside Of business hours, says that
he is delighted with the freedom of the press
of this cOuntry.-BUrliRgtoR Free Press.
JONES: "What's the matter, Smith? You
horse?'' smith: NO" Jones: "Wife coming
home from the country" Smith: "Yes."-
Sun
NEXT month the economic young man who
has been doing society on a cheap summer
basis will be oysterized by all the young ladies
of his acquaintance, and he VIII have to put
up or shut p.-CiRciHHGti Merchant Trd0eler.
A LADY in Fonda, n. Y, who is % years
old, is just learning to play the piano. She
SAYS that a woman who can't play some sort
of an instrument nowadays stands a pretty
poor chance Of getting Observation-Disclosures
Free Press.
Now is the time of year that the gay and
dashing yachtsman puts on his white flannel
SUIT, goes down aboard of his yacht, sees that
rything is IN readiness for cruise, and
then comes ashore, takes the train and meets
the vessel at NeWpOrt.-BOStOn Post.
a NEW YORK DOCTOR saws SunStrOke Is
always preceded by rush OF blood to the
brain. It's really sad to think how many Of
our young men need never worry about sun
stroke. Their blood might start to rush with
the very best intention, but when it found no
place to rush to it would get disguised and go
back to attend to legitimate business.-EUdns-
UiLis Argus.
BRIDE-How easy it is to be economical. /
saved 65 cents last week by making bread my
! self instead of buying it Of the baker, Young
1 I 90 inf oil "a
little items carefully" Queer, how figures
differ. / thought we came out So behind :"
Dear me, / must have left something out.
What was it," The dyspepsia medicine. >
| PhiBadeLDhid Call
IF we knew when walking thoughtless
On the payement's sultry way,
That some peel of blank banana
Close beside our pathway lay,
We would pause where now we hasten,
We would Oftener look around.
lie our feet should slip, and set us
PIuB,p-end foremost on the ground.
Nashville World.
JoNEs-"Ha! ha! Life VIII now be worth
living. / must show this item of news to my
next door neighbor. He can't fail to take the
hint. The paper says some genius has in
vented 'nOiseess viOlins for practice and
they are already on SALE Smith (wearily)-
''That won't help me any. I've got to have
my sleep broken until a greater boon ap-
pears Joues-''Why, what could be a
greater boon to humanity than nOiseless musi-
cal Instruments" Smith lmopping his thrOb-
bling mples)-"NOiseless babies. ''-PhiLadeJ-
phid CAL.
THE tallest bird known to ethnOlogists was
found by Prof. Herbert in the lower eOcene
deposits near Paris, France. 1t was over u
feet in height, and could have bitten mans
| head on as easily as a woodpeeker can MP
cherry. We cannot be too thankful that this
bird has gone out of fashion and existence.
Ladies would have wanted to wear 1t on their
hats, and the price would have been fright
f.,11, x1o OF habTv
such bonnet ornaments in the theatres would
be unable to see whether a ballet or prayer
meeting was in progress on the stage
| N0FriStO1O7s Herald.
THREE AND A HALF spells I'VE on ladies'
| shOes-Miss Modesty don't spen' her summers
at de seaside.-Few men wear out dere pants
| fust at de knee.-Is knOwed some fools ter
make money, but dey didn't earn il WritIn' fer
| de papcrs.-Casar's wife ID a nebber come
| down III histry in Mndder Hubbard dress
! Bank cashiers sometimes 60 ter heaven er de
| peniteEtiary, but l nebber heard er one gOin'
| to de POI house.-When it comes ter marryin'
| fer money or gamblin' fer it, l shall trus ter
luck eff / don't hole trump don't know
wedder Satan ebbcr piled for patent on de
| bass drum, but has an idee who vented it,
| Good wedder fer church gOn' ponds mo- on
| de mllliner dan 1t does on de moon.-Ieeds
| Siftings.
''No SIR" said the barber to a suspicious
| looking customer, who affably remarked. as
| the lather was being laid on, that he supposed
| there were good many men who failed to
| to pay their shaving scores. ''No, sir. / used
to give credit, but / never do now-in fact,
nobody ever asks for tick any more" "HOw's
that?" "Well, you see," said the barber,
trying the edge of his razor on his thumb
nail, II had a set Of stias who used to ask me
to chalk it down. / got tired of keeping
books, and | adopted a new system. When
ever | shaved one of these old standbys put
a little nick on his nose with my razor and
kept tally in that way. They got so they
didn't want to run bills" There was a
tremor in the customers voice as he asked
from beneath the lather: ''DO you object to
being paid in e?"-SOmcrCilIe journal.
ALL closed and still was the front of the house,
No sign of life could be seen,
As the summer sun on the stony street,
Poured Its molten silver sheen,
If the font of the house We're closed and still,
Not so was il in the rear,
For a woman sat at a window there,
With a look in her face of fear.
She had heard a sound in the house next door,
AS closed and still as her own,
And she feared that robbers had broken in,
To seize the wealth of the flown.
From the window she looked wilh cautious
dread
Her eyes met her neighbours eyes;
Then the fear all vanished. and in its place
Came a look of great surprise.
But woman-like the occasion she met,
AS she always does, you'll agree,)
And, smiling, she said, "1Our pardon l beg,
You're away for the summer, like me-"
Merchant T1adreIor