Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-28
An Eccentric Gun.

was riding through the woods in
central Arkansas in seemingly vain
endeavor to find road that would lead
me from the wilderness, when I sud-
aenly came upon small log house. I
stopped and called to man who stood
near the door, "wiping out" long
rifle. He handed the gun to a small
boy who staggered under its weight and
approached.
"Mornin, sab, mornin'," he said,
turning to drive away dog that would
have surrendered his hope of ever get
ting anything to eat merely for the
pleasure of planting his ugly teeth in
my leg.
L am looking for road" said,
after exchanging show air yers" with
the old fellow, "and would be greatly
indebted for any assistance you might
lend me-"
He grinned mercilessly, l thought,
and replied:
"Whar're yer frum?"
/ told him, how truthfully it makes
no difference, and repeated my inquiry
concerning the road.
Stranger, did yer fetch road with
yers?"
confessed that I did not.
wall, then, don't know o. nun in
this here neighborhood.
"You don't mean to say that you have
no roads ?"
That's what / mean"
How do you get along?"
Through the woods.
"How do you haul your woodl'
Don't haul none. Chop down trees
an tote the wood in. When the trees
| gets scace, we move"
"Can you tell me how far it is to the
next house?"
stranger, you KANT find the next
house"
"Why?"
Because it amt thar. Say, thar,
Dick" turning to his son.
"Yas, pap
"Don't drap that gun. 1t mout go
off an shoot the stranger"
ut might also shoot you," I sug-
gested.
no, it never shoots home foxes, but
It does banker powerful airter stran-
gers. Felt mighty sorry fur one o these
here Government whisky hunters luther
lay. He cum er hangin' roun' here,
es like yer air dom, an / was mighty
afeerd that ole Sal-that's the guns
name-would get ter cuttin' up, an
blame eff she didn't flop over airter a
while an shoot the Teller through the
leg spite o everything l could do.
Shot him, sab, even airter my wife had
reasoned with her, an my wife's rea-
soner, femme tell yer. Say, thar,
Dick"
"Yas, pap"
"Do ole Sal look sorter ashy?"
"Yas, pap"
Stranger, I don't wanter hurry you
off, fur if thurs man in the curmunity
what likes comp'ny it's me; but, eff I
was in yer place, dinged eff didn't
ride"
Il don't know which way to ride"
Better ride straddle, I reckin."
II mean L don't know where to CO."
$50 er wayl Say, thar, Dick!"
"Yas, pap"
as Sal gittin' hard ter hold?"
"Yas, pap"
Stranger, swar that yer'd better
hussle, fur when Sal gets crossways, an
ashy, an hard ter hold, thar's gwine ter
be trouble.
My friend, You mistake me for a
deputy marshal, when, in fact" (cow-
ardly ruse, bat my only hope) II am a
wildcat di,tiller and am running from
the officials. L live over here on the
creek, and when J left home the neigh
borhood was full Of deputy marshals. "
"Git right down an come in," he
said. Say, thar, Dick"
Vas, pap"
rs Sal ashy?"
mo, pap"
as she ard ter hold?"
mo, pap"
wall, lean her agin the tree an take
this boss and gin him suthin' ter eat.
Go erway, Lize," addressing the dog,
athis amt no whisky hunter"
The animal seemed to understand al
once, and without bestowing anothe,
sneaking glance on me, he walked away
and laid down with satisfied air.
"Jes come in. Colonel" said the old
fellow; "too late ter get outen this cur
munity ter night. I'll show yer the
way in the mawnin. Moll," turning te
his wife,
"Yas, pap"
jug handy?"
"Yas, pap"
wall, pass her ter the stranger.
Opie p. Read.