The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-18

WHY WE LAUGH.
A man with natural bent-A hunchbac

A man with a natural bent-A hunchback.
"Tm kind of invisible blew" says the
cyclone.-Erchange.
What has Random done that so many peo-
pie shoot at him ?-Hdrt(ord Times.
A correspondent wants to know what is
meant by "preferred creditor" He Is the
fellow who gets the horns and tail with the
hide.
Congress has to adjourn over the Christ
mas holidays or else the season of "peace on
earth and good will to men" would DO hol-
low mockery.
| The pen may be mightier than the sword,
but If you get hair In 1t you begin
to believe that 1t may sometimes outlive
Its asefulness.-The Judge.
Fessenden, the ninny, thought the Pool of
Bethesda must have been railway pool, be-
cause the account speaks Of the many Grip
Piles waiting to enter it.-Boston Transcript.
The victims of the Newhall House fire In
| Milwaukee are to have q monument. A
monument, when nights safe lodging was
all guest expected, Is something In the
way Of gratuity that is entirely superauous.
Hartford Post.
A pair of knitted socks 1000 years Old has
been discovered in an Egyptian tomb. Mr..
| Tilden says the report that they are . pair of
his old ones, which he lost while looking for
the remains of the Democratic party, is a
wicked invention of the enemy.-Norristo,c
Herald.
Lieut.. Danenhower, who was lost for a
time amid Arctic SHOWS, Is about to be mar
ried. Our humorous proclivities would
tempt Us to remark that some men never
know when they have had enough trouble,
but discretion being the better part of vslor,
we refrain.
The Bismarck Tribune Is authority for
this: Some friend sent Prof. Swift, of the
Warner observatory, q bottle Of Montana
whisky for Christmas gift, and that night
he discovered 2,177 new comets with shaved
tails and five. pronged horns. Warner didn't
let him report 'em.
The editor of the Corsicana, Texas, o.
seroer had baby born unto him, and this Is
how It affected him: "The beautiful gates
were left sjar last Sabbath, and little angel
girl came down on a falling star" That
may be the case now, but just let him wait
about eighteen years till she elopes with q
drummer for q Boston shoe house, and the
old man will think that she really came
down on fatiron.-Ne,cs.
CHEEKY
A wasp went buzzing to his work,
And various things did tackle;
He stung a boy and then dog,
Then made a rooster cackle.
At last upon drummer's cheek
He settled down to drill
He prodded there for half an hour,
And finally broke his bill.
Not long ago a new member of Congress
was invited to dinner. He describes 1t
thus: "There wasn't nothin' on the table
when got there but some forks and spoons
and brcky brack. Presently they brought
in some soup. As didn't see nothin' else
thought I'd eat all the soup could get,
though soup is mighty poor dinner to in
vite feller to. So was helped four times;
and then come on one of the finest dinners
ever see, and there SET" grosned he, "chock
full Of soup.'-Miies City Press.
A Scotch nobleman recently paid visit to
friends in Virginia. Now the visit of gen.
uine lord is no small thing and of course the
servants were instructed accordingly. But
how all our teachings sometimes come to
naught because the pupil fails to distinguish
the intent of word applicable to two differ
ent objects. His lordship was Mortified by q
request of the colored waiter at the table,
who, when passing him dish, remarked
"My god, take some" Some lords would
like to be gods, but IN this case the mistake
was too ludicrous for serious bearing on the
part Of those who heard 1t.