The Osceola times., 1884-02-02
THE BOX.OFFICE TORTURE.
One Days Experience Of Theatre
Ticket.Seller.
Showing How that Estimable Young Man Can
Smile and Smile and be a Villain.
New York Times

A student Of human nature, having
read some OF the complaints of CORES.
pondents of newspapers about the snap
pish manners Of young men in the box
offices of theatres, went recently to the
Office of an uptown theatre for the pur-
pose of observation. The young rlan ir
the box office was known TO the student
of human nature, who thus addressed
him:
'Josephus, have been acquainted with
you for a considerable period of time,
but there is one phase of your nature
which have not yet had opportunity to
observe"
"W hat is that7"
"Your box office nature. want to see
bow you conduct yourself in the dis
charge Of your duties to the great and
many-sided public
"Ptarximander, come right in here and
sit down. 1t is now two hours before the
sun will have crossed the standard time
meridian. During those two hours YOU
will see me pestered by A. different kinds
of idiots; and when YOU 20 away your
wonder will be, not that occasionally
lose my balance and become a trife sar-
castle, as it were, but that do not arise
and devastate the entire theatre going
community with dynamite and Carbolic
acid. Come in, Ptarxmander ard get
out your observation glasses"
Ptarxima lder went in and sat down
on luxurious wooden chair. Josephus
sat ON n stool. In front of him was a
cash drawer, and on either hand racks
containing tickets for the week. In few
minutes 8 sharp misunderstanding man
rushed in and said
"Give me two centre aisle seats as near
the stage as you can for tomorrow even.
ing"
"Herc they are, sir; A . and 4, first
row.
"Oh, that's too near"
"The next centre aisle seats are X |
and g."
That's too far
Haven't anything better, sir"
"Well, | suppose I'll have TO take
them"
The gentleman put down his money,
seized the tickets aud rushed away.
81 don't see anything very trying about
that" said Ptarximander.
"Tarry yet little" remarked Jose
phus.
Five minutes later another man rushed
in.
81 want two centre aisle seats on H.
said he, "ior TO moroS evening"
Il am very sorry, ar, but I've Just sold
X out
That's likely story. | suppose you
sold them to a speculator."
Il don't know, sir he may have been
a speculator.
"Oh, you don't deny it! Well, like
your impudcnce"
Would you believe me if did deny
it?"
"No, of course not. Well what can YOU
give me2'
81 can give you centre aisle seats on l.,
next behind X"
Don. wan, 'em."
"Why, sir, there's only difference of
two feet in the distance from the stage"
"Now, who in thunder is buying these
seats, you or me ?"
"Well, sir, answered Josephus, laugh.
ing, neither of MS 30 far"
"You impudent young jackanapes I'll
report YOU to the manager"
Josephus did not answer.
"Do you hear what sav?r
YES, sir"
Good day"
And the man left the theatre in great
haste.
THAT man was not easily suited,' re-
marked Ptarximander
"Oh, ne was an angel to some Of the N.
A few minutes passed away and an
Jther man entered.
as the manager in o. he asked
"No, sir," answered Josephus.
That's what YOU always tell people
'ou don't know, isn't it? Well, now,
le1l see me-
Il dare say he would, sir, if be was in,
ut he is out"
have an important letter here which |
must deliver 10 him at once
You can leave il With me and I'll give !
. to him as soon as be comes in
That will not do. must have an an /,
wer at once"
THAT is impossible, sir"
"What time does he come in?"
"He'll be hero in an hour. | think
"Nery we'll III come back for an an
wcr,' said the man, handing in the |
etter
JosephUs took it and calm.y opened it. /
The man tug-.l white with ,agt.
"What 30 yJn mean, you scoundrcl, by .
,peuing that letter? Yop'vc made tie
greatest mistake of your life. III have
7ou discharged az once