The Arizona sentinel., 1884-12-20
Wit AND HUMGR.
&c transit-An ambulance wagon.

SIC transit-An ambulance wagon.
A TIGHT ft-Delirium tremens.
EVERY mans house is his castle, bu
every man can't be King of Ashantee
ONE is seal ring and the other is !;
real sing. Eli? Sure enough. Wha
was the conundrum
A YOUNG man described q taxidermist
to bevy of young girls as one who sort
o upholsters animals He took the
cake.
TIE difference between the Fenian
leader and an advance agent Is that one
is Head Center, while the other Is sent
ahead.
NEVER address your conversation to
person engaged in footing up a column
of figures. There's nothing SO deaf as
an adder.
An Irishman who was found guilty OF
stealing lot of coffee was asked by the
magistrate what he did with it. "Made
tay with it, was the H;bernian's reply.
You've lady, examining some bridal
wells" Can you really recommend this
One?" Over-zealous shopman-" Oh,
yes, miss 1t may be used several
times"
"TM afraid the bed is not long enough
for you," said the landlord to a seven
foot guest. Never mind, he replied
"Tn add two more feet to it when l
get in"
CIVIL you name the bones of the
head?" said teacher to one Ct his
class. GIVE got 'em all IN my head,
teacher" replied the pupil, "but can't
give 'em away"
"rIL take your arm, Hiss Ida, please,
Good faith I've neei to cling to-"
"eood faith, indeed!n said she, but then,
Ny arm is not the thing to
Lmpart you thatlp Responded he,
With lips that meier denied her,
"Good faith is bona fd5, girl,
and this Is boAe Of Ida"
We are constantly told that "the
evening wore on"-but what the even
ing wore on such occasions we are not
informed. Was it the close of SUM-
mer's day?
WHY is q thief your only true phi
losopher? Because he regards every
thing from an abstract point of view, is
opposed to all notions of protection,
and is open to conviction.
THIS is little coeducational scene
Professor "Who will see Mr.. B. before
next Monday?" Lady student, hesitat-
ing and blushing little more 81 shall
see him Sunday night, probably"
TEE Philadelphia NeaOs man is q per-
son of experience. He says: 'A Boston
man has invented a new word-'Astron-
ometeorology.' 1t means what man
sees when he suddenly runs against
lamp-post.
A YOUNG man in the "Answers to
Correspondents column In New York
paper asks: Chow can gain copieus
command of language ?" We would |
suggest that he try sitting down on
tack.-Louisville Courier-Jom7aaI.
COURTESY opens many DOORS" says
the old adage. "This may be true, as
far as it goes, says commentator; ''but |
you might stand before BODYBUILDING
and courtesy till you spinal column was
IS timber as an old postage-stamp, yet |
the doors wouldn't swing back on their
hinges worth cent
A CLERGYMAN, being annoyed by some
OF his audience going out while ne was
preaching, took for his text, "Thou art
weighed, and found wanting" Soon
after commencing his discourse, he said,
"You will please pass out as fast as you
are weighed"
BE was 70 and she was IS, and thev
were On their wedding-tour. He pointed
out to her the beautiful scenery, and
said: "We may have many anniver-
saries of this season." &C Yes" she
answered, "you viii probably live long
enough to have tin wedding"
DESDEAONA.
told her Of my three years cruise,
It's haps and mishaps; and when I
Had finished, in her sweet, rept muse,
She nurlured breathlessly, 4" o myln
And when told ny journeys DER,