The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-27
N~ yA s4vkess<w Tbsssssv.
 PHiLKiNs' TEXAS PARAGRAPHS
sY ixk rHllK,NS

M ixx rHilNsNs.
 
 Swillbig says that he t sc;ss sc havs the coolest summer residence in Austin, because he always has . ssrong family blowing.
 A gardener wrote to an Austin mer. chant the other day, asking: Do eeets pay" The merchant looked over his boois and replied: aNo, sir, they do not shun them V
 Young Svipes has quit visiting Mra Loosesongue's daughter on College avenue, in Austin, Texas. The other evening he was aroupd there and tho young hopeful of the family asked:
 Mir. Swipes, do you make bakers bread ?'
 No; of oourse dcet. Why?"
 Cause ma said tha, you vas % light. headed that Mir. Lundbesg would make money by hiring you to look ., the -four to make his bread rise.'
 An Austin father saw his sou come home with unmistakahle marks oi light scratohed oo his face. "Ah I've caught you, eh Haven't l told you that you must not 6ghtg Go bring me ,ha, strap. Look ai your face and hands how they are scratched and bruised up" "fes. pa; know l am scratched up some" ~himpered the hopeful < Bus-- oohoo-booAoo-you-a-s-h-h-o oueAsas --a-s-h- -h-h1-w-sesn the osAss boy o-hoo. M-eel-a-hh-oo-vhen got through with him-bohoo."
 The father ies him of.
 The S~iss warbler of Texas poesy vdsss to me and sends a poem bsginning by asking himself If he shall wish for Biosscmed languosoas month his realm to And south winds blow ing from the sea |" and he answers himself thus
 "Ah, no Ah. TO
 The starry winter for my heritage.
 The enshantec silence and the roaming
 snos"
 It's all vesy sweet, vesy beautiful but is indicates that the poet has been en- ab;ed to redeem his overcoat. and is over come by the poetry of his Joy. and enter tsins a reckless disregard for wia,es ,o consequence.
 A young lady here in Austin is writing 2 graduating essay on Eron Regard ing Adam and Eve" She will demon. straie that all essays ard books written in regard to Adam having promised to take Eve to every party that came along and about Eve having left Adam and gone home 10 her mother because Adam raised row abou, buying her a Mother Hubbard bonnet, that makes a woman . isoe look as if it were ID an old fashioned locomotive smoke stack. and all other such slanderous ideas about Adam and Eve, are unmitigated ialsehoods. This connrms my idea of the matter have always though, ,ha, base and designing inhdels invented those fabrieasions to weaken the cause
 ANGULAR HoC.
 "Yes. jeremiah Swiggles,r said Swie- gles' wife, you're brute: reg ular hog, not f, for decen, people to associate with. You could not ges any woman in the world to live with you a
 "If am what you say am, dare say you are right, my dear"
 Afser briss moment Mn. Swiggles sav the point and now she wants . divorce.
 MERiIED FATE.
 The vegetable punsses of Austin is 10 more. He approached the reporter ol the San Jacinso Esfrsss hare the other day, and said. in rapid succsssion
 Lettuce, can you bea, meY' Did gar-lick you the other dsyr "Doss il hurs to have tur-nip you?" How many sentinels are garden your land now s'' Not soul attended his fusesL except the grave digger and the man who drove the csrt.
 NO PENSION WAIVED.
 A lady applied to the Veteran board for aid as the daughser ot San jscisse hero. The afAble president Of the board gave her the prescribed blank to fill out aises the printed questions. She filled them out until she cane io the ees-- "Yous agey' Do have to aaswez all these questions literally ?- she asked.
 @yes'm; the law req qa.sss it."
 "Thea gusss the state of Texas caa keep her sassy old lasds," and she -four ished out She was yea unmarried.
 SIGNS or INSANITY.
 San Antonio socissy has been vcades- ing vhy yousg Rasslsbsais ssd M:ss