davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11
Dangerous Wit,

Our readers well remember the wit
ty reply of Douglass Jcrrold when Il
dull, gOod-hcartcd friend told him, one
day, that he had written novel, adj
ding with an elated laugh
"Ycs, am in the same boat with
Thackcray"
"With different sculls," was the
quick reply.
Jcrrold had his mot, but lost a
friend. The would-bc novelist never
spoke to him again. An Irish Judge
was as fond of pronouncing sentence
as the infamous Jel'rics. Hearing some
unscrupulous decision which he made,
lawyer in the courtroom remarked
to Curran, loud enough to be heard by
the Judge, decision before this bench
are mere matter of toss-up."
"In which" Curran flashed back,
"heads never win"
Curran never won n case before that
judge again.
There is no amusement for which
the price of indulgence is SO heavy as
reparteo. Somebody, it is said, dur
ing the poet Rogers lonely old age,
said to him, II envy you, above all
other things, your power of pungent,
instant retort."
"You might as well envy me the
knife with which have cut the throats
of all my friends" was the bitter reply.
The temptation to deal keen, swift
thrust is as irresistible to the wit as to
the skilled swordsman in battle. But
one stabs his enemies, the other his
friends. The men and women who
have acquired the deepest moral inllu-
encc were not noted for the display Of
their own power, but for their skill in
drawing out the powers of others.
"Why had Margaret Fuller, with all
her ability, no friendsP" some one late
ly asked critic who had known her.
because she had no tact" was the
answer.
Napoleon, who was jealous of the in
fluence of Madame Racamier when
she was at the height of her power,
asked Cambaceres, 'Is she, then, so
witty a womanP"
mot at all, SIRE" was the reply,
"but she Is the most marvellous listener
in the world!'
Young girls who are not able to win
notice in society because OF their lack
of beauty, are often apt to attempt sa-
tire to gain notice. They mistake for
admiration the laugh and surprise
which follow their sharp sayings.
Practice gives them fatal facility in
finding the weak sore spot which every
man hides; and they make the mistake
a physician would make If, on enter
ing hospital, he should heedlessly
pour caustic instead of healing salve
upon the wounds Of his patients, and
then wonder why he was not welcome.
--YonLh's Cempanion.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11
Horace Greeley's Last Words.

There has been no time until now,
within the last twelve years, when The
Tribune was not supposed to keep, for
the benefit of the idle and Incapable, n
sort of federal employment agency,
established to get places under the
government for those who were indis-
posed to work for living.
Any man who had ever voted the
republican ticket believed it was the
duty and the privilege of the editor of
this paper to get him a place in the
custom-house. Every rcd-nosed poll
tician who had cheated at the caucus
and fought at the polls, looked to the
editor of The Tribune to secure his ap-
pointment as gauger, or as army chap
lain or as minister to France, Every
campaign orator came upon us, after
the battle was over, for recomenda-
tion as secretary of the treasury or the
loan of half dollar.
If one of our party had an interest
pending at Washington, the editor OF
The Tribune was telegraphed in frantic
haste to come to the capital, save this
bill, crush that one, promote one OBJ
ject or stop another. He was to be
everybody's friend, with nothing to do
but take care Of other folks business,
sign papers, write letters, and ask IA
vors for them, and get no thanks for
either. Four-fifths of these people
were sent away without what they
wanted, only to become straightway
abusive enemies, II was the worry Of
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

life to try to crafty one demand in a
dozen for the other fifth.
The man with two wooden legs con-
graduated himself that he never
could be- trouble with cold feet. 1t is
Il source of proud satisfaction to us
that oilicc-scckcrs will keep aloof from
defeated candidate who has not in
ilucnce enough in Washington or Al.
bany to get Il sweeper appointed I'M
der the sergcant-at.arms, or deputy
sub-assistant clerk in the paSte-pot
section of the foldrng-room.
At last we shall be let alone amid
our own affairs, and manage our own
newspaper, without being called aside
every half,hour to help lazy people
whom we don't know. and to spend
our strength to benefit people who
don't deserve assistance.
At last we shall keep our Office clear
of bathcrSktcs and political bcggars,
and go about our daily work with the
satisfaction of knowing that not the
most crcdulous OF place hunters will
suspect us of having any credit with
the appointing powers.
That is one Of the results of Tues
days election for which we are our
selves profoundly gratcful.-NeC Io,k
IiJanc, Nor. Z, 1872.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11
Naval IIerOinps,

In 1912 her magesty's ship Swallow
.ought two French vessels off Frejus.
1t was on June 10th, and after most
obstinate action she succeeded in driv.
ing them both in under the batteries of
the town. The following anecdote, as
narrated by one of the officers of the
Swallow, is told at some length in The
Ndual Chronicle, xviii, 1876; In the
gallant and sanguinary action there
was a seaman named Phelan, who had
his wife on board. She was stationed
as is usual wien women are on
board in time of battle to assist the
surgeon in the care of the wounded.
From the close manner in which the
Swallow engaged the enemy, yardarm
and yardarm, the wounded as may be
expected, were brought below very
fast; among the rest, mesmate of her
husband consequently her own), who
had received musket-ball through
the side. Her eXerions were used to
console the poor fellow, who was in
great agonies and nearly breathing his
last, when by some chance she heard
her husband was wounded on deck,
Her anxiety and already oyerpowered
feelings could not one moment be re.
strained; she rushed instantly on deck
and received the wounded tar in her
arms. He family raised his head to
kiss her; she burst into flood of tears,
and told him to take courage, all
would be well, but scarcely pro.
uounced the last syllable when an ILL
directed shot took her head of. The
poor tar who was closely wrapped in
her arms, opened his eyes once more,
then shut them forever. - Phe.
Ian and his wife were sewed up
in one hammock, and, it is needless to
say, buried in one grave" The mar
rator adds to the pathos Of the above
story, telling how, only three weeks
before, fine boy had been born to
them, and how poor Tommy Jared un'
til they put into Port Mahon. The
sailors agreed he should have hundred
fathers, but what could be the substi.
tute Of nurse apd mot 'rp" Hap.
PLY, there was a malte. goat on
board which proved as tractiblc and
faithful to its charge as the immortal
dumb foster.mother of Roman story.
In Rodney's battle with De Guichen
of the Pearl rock, Martil que, April
IL, 1880, there was won on board
the Sandwich, Rodney's I gship, who
"fought twenty-four-pounder gun,
and afterwarded attended the whole
night upon the wounded men, "-Note'
and Queries
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11
A phlethorn. of Canltnl.

Capitalists are evidently waiting for
something to turn up. Never before
has there been such an excess of re.
serve. On Saturday the New York
banks held $40, 246, 05o above the legal
requirements, an increa of about
three millions week since the first Of
tho month, and thirty-6ve millions
since one year ago. A surplus of Sl0,-
100000 is considered sufficient for the
requirements Of business, while twice
that has been held to indicate a phle-
thora; and now we sec the embarrass-
ment of riches is four times as great a
surplus as the business of the New
York banks requires. They now hold
reserve Of 1921, l,71S,o 900, against 1884,
100000 year ago, and S67, 900, 900 in
lSS2,-Albany Times
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

Prussa's latest conquest, the pur.
chase of the Hamilton manuscripts for
ESO,0OO, was unhappily Il defeat for
England. The British museum was
supposed to have fallen asleep!
Another version is that our govern
ment knew what Prussia was after,
but did not care to rush to the rescue.
The secret seems to have been kept
pretty close in Berlin. | was on the
spot when DIR. Lippmann lett for En-
gland on ''priyate business, us was
stated in official circles to disarm sus-
picion, But no sooner had the prize
been safely captured than Europe
rang with the news, and Dr. hpp-
mann lost no time in calling attention
in the JOU1tai to the priceless gem of
the collection he Dante manuscript,
with the famous drawings of Botti-
cclli, His paper was illustrated by n
/ photo reproduction, from II hradiSo,
representing Dante and Beatrice in the
heavenly spheres. DR.. Lippmann holds
that these drawings, intcrlcayod with
/ the text, extend over con idcrablc in
lcrvals Of time, and show change and
advance in style under the influence of
Pallajuolo with SignOrclli. He further
institutes Il comparison with the apo
calypso of DGrcr, and finally claims for
the designs foremost position in the
Italian renaissance. Elated by success
in the capture of the Hamilton manu-
scripts, Prussia next turned her eve
toward the Marlborough pictures at
/ Blcnhcim, before they were in the open
market. As preliminary the govern
ment had obtained the grant Of Il con-
siderable sum, equal to ElOO,OOO
| rlaced, as usual in these transactions,
at the disposal of the emperor, and to
/ be expended in the interests Of the art
| as he might see tit, The machinery,
| 1t will be- observed, is nicely cOnlriycd
Tor Il sudden and secret coup. Thus
armed with the sincws Of war 4 rep
rescntativc Of the ROYAL picture gallery
was sent as by stealth to England
| quietly to negotiate for the purchase
Of the Blcnhcim pictures. So secret
was the mission that the chosen ennis
Sary Of the government during his
short stay in this country did not make
himself visible even to friends. I'm
lnckily, however, for the success of the
scheme, rumor took wind that the
whole Blcnheim collection was sold to
Berlin. Denial was easily given; it
was urged that 100000 was most in
ADEQUATE for the whole, and that the
entire collection was not wanted.
Then the first report changed form; Il
.tatcmcnt was put out, both in En-
gland and Germany, that Prussia had
taken her pick of the bes pictures the
grand prize, of course, being the Blcn-
helm Raphael. But soon it became ap-
parent that this more modest, though
less alarming, announcement was at
least premature. England's pride is
wounded, her honor threatened; our
national gallery should be allowed the
right of presumption. Prussia must
console herself rs best she may-at all
events she is free to devote the unspeni
fl00, 600 to art treasures elsewhere. -
NiRctCcRM Century,
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

Kate Smulsey, of Fort Plain, has
now tasted, it is said, 259 days. She
is only slightly weaker. The shaking
of her body and arms continues. The
appearance of hor flesh is not such as
would be expected of one who has en-.
dured such q protracted fast, but is
rather bloated and abnormal in sem.
blance. She receives the best of care
from her mother, who continually
watches by her side. Extreme tender.
ness is used in caring for her. When
she is removed from her couch, that
the bedding may be changed, she is
lifted tenderly in a sheet. Miss Smul-
sey last tasted food on March II. Her
mother testiiies to this, and adds that
she earnestly wishes her daughter
would eat something. The young
woman talks little and in q scarcely
audible voice. She says she has nc
appetite for anything, even were she
in the condition to eat. She is firm in
the belief that she will eventually be
restored to health. DR.. Zoller, the
family physician, says that she takes
no medicine now, and has not taken
any for some time. Said the doctor
yesterday: "During all my attention
on Miss Smulsey ! have never seen hel
eat anything, nor have l discovered
any indication that she has done So
I have frequently advised her to eat
anything her stomach could stand and
have frequently taken delicate gruels
to her, but she always refused to eat y
There is no question in this community
with reference to the veracity of the
Smulsey family, which is highly re-
spected. They were reluctant to allow
the case to reach public notice and are
extremely dif1ident now on being ap
preached with inquiries concerning
the daughters condition. Neighbort
and friends visit her daily and unit
further evidence Is adduced, this com
munity will not question the reality o
Miss Smulsey's fast. Miss Smulsey
was twenty years old on October "a
Schenectady Union,
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

A GERMAN histolo9ist estimates that
the human brain is composed of at
at least SOC, 100000 of nerve cells, s.
100000 of which die every day, about
100000 every hour, and nearly $500
every minute, to be succeeded by an
equal number of their progeny. Ev-
cry sixty days, he says, a man has II
totally new brain.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

Mr.. BLAINE has already made 5000,
600 from the sales of his first volume
of Twenty Years in Congress" As his
profit is 20 cents for each volume sold,
this represents a sale of more than
5000 copies. Seven thousand copies
have been sold in Washington alone.
His second volume must be published,
according TO contract, by May, and
his present intention is to so to Europe
as soon as the manuscript is given to
the printers.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

Two RED heads will be missed from
the next house. Belford, of Colorado,
the "red rooster of the Rockies" and
Ochiltree, of Texas, the cred ranger of
the Rio Grande."
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

Mr.. WIGGINs, who once kicked up
The meteorological dust in the role Of
weather prophet has joined the Saliva
lion army at Hamilton, Ont, and is
going through the country calling on
people to repent.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

THE prince of Naples, King Hum
bert heir, a lad of 10, is weak in mind
and body. His parents are first
cousins. His greatest accomplish
ment is talking English, which he
learned from English nurses and gov
erncsScS.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

The secret of the most enormous
eater of the last congress has been
made known. Congressman Belford,
of Colorado, ate four regular meals
ard three lunches Il day, and was al
ways hungry.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

NINE. PATHS speech at her twenty
fifth anniversary was short. She said;
"NIy dear friends, it is twenty-five
years since | sang here for the first
time. The reception you have given
me tonight is tribute | shall never
forget. 1t CvcrcomeS me. am so
overwhelmed | can say nothing
more
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

SENATOR BAYARD eats quinnc for
Inspiration. His father did before
aim. And President Arthur, ii is said,
mas developed marked appetite for
he same delicious morscl during his
Jour years in Washington.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

FATHER BAsSETr, the gray-haircd
scrgeant-at-arms, who has for more
han fifty years been connected with
The United States senate, coming in as
4 page by the influence of Daniel
Webster, has in preparation volume
lf commissioners
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

SOME time ago Gov. Waller, of Con-
necticut, arranged to go down to New
York, should he fail of reelection, and
enter one of the city's leading law
firms. Nov he has changed his mind.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

TIE new residence of Gen. w. ID.
Washburn, at Minneapolis, which The
50. PdM Pioneer Press calls the most
spacious and beautiful private resi-
lcncc in the west, if notin the country,
mas been opened with brilliant re-
,cption. There were over 1900 in
vitatiOns.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

BEN: PERLEY PoORE has returned to
Washington weighing less than he did
last year. He will continue his letters
to The Boston Badget of "Reminiscences
of the Capital and will eventually
publish them in book form. His
Biographical Annals or Dictionary
of Congress. though it had good
sale, was not on the whole n paying
investment.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

ROSCOE CoNKLING recently dcliv-
cred nine-hours argument, with only
half hours intermission.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

CONGRESSMAN DORsHEIMER is still
engaged upon his life of Martin Van
Burcn for the Statesmen series.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

The following concluding sentences
from an unpublished letter of Charles
Dickens, dated Nov. l6, 1868, are in
teresting proofs of the earnest fashion
in which the novelist succeeded in
identifying himself with the charac-
ters of his own creation at the lime
when he was reading to enthusiastic
audiences certain passages from his own
works: "Come early in January" he
writes, and see certain friend Of
yours do the murder from oliver
Twist 1t is horribly like, | am
afraid. Ihave vague sensation ol
being wanted as ] walk about the
streets.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

The Tichborne claimant has been
engaged to appear at an entertainment
in Edinburgh for one week for E2OO.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11
CURRENT TOPICS,

The Hon. N. p. Banks has positive
ly declined TO be a candidate for Mayor
of Waltham, Mass.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

AT last there is likelihood that
some sort of monument will be erect
ed to the memory of the late Peter
Cooper. The sum of So, 259 has been
collected in boxes placed for that pur-
pose-sccmingly the gift of the work
ing people whose cause Mr.. Cooper
had most at heart. No millionaire has
vet sent in his "two mites" and under
the circumstances il is probably best
that it should be so. No man could
desire prouder monument than that
erected by the pennies of the poor
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1884-12-11

SENATOR joe" Brown is the rul-
ing spirit of a large railroad in Gcor'
gia. He was being hauled over it one
day in his special car when the con-
ductor came to him with n long face
and informed him that drunken man
was aboard, and he didn't know what
to do with him. "Where does he
wish to goP" asked the senator in his
quiet, easy way. "He says that he
wants to go to HI" said the man of
the bell-rope. "Oh, WE'LL" replied
Mr.. Brown, "put him of at Carriers.
VILE" And the town has never re-
covered from the Joke.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-06-06
THE NOMINATIONS.

Tho Candidates and spesc ches or orators
who Presented Then. :
CHICAGO, LII, June 5.-Chairman Hen.
derson called tho Convention and the
vast audience to order at 7:s5 m IN. and
said, "dsn.lemen Of the Convention. under
the; rules; adopted, the order oi business
now Is the presentation Of candidates for
President 8 I s4S Is "
y Z. = TICKETS poR yerkRANs. 2%5tlJ "
AMr. butcher, Of New York-Mr.i Chair.
man, I aak unanimous consent to offer tho
following resolution !! ~ 5{s:sssE;l
Resolrtd, That the Committee 7on Seats
be directed to Issue Eve hundred ticket
Of admission to veteran soldiers and sailors,
10 be distributed through the chairmen ot
the several State delegations, =; ~ = 'tS -
Mr.. Howe, OF Nobraaka-I second the
motion ot the gentleman from ew York.
!, The Chair-rhis motion REQUIRES unsui.
nous consent. lCriea Of Question "
70 lestion ~ ~ ~ tS SS:'3S tilsgt se5
Tho question being put, It va, declared
carried by the Chairman. igfiti Stst p1
SIM iiTnE NATIONAL COMMITTEE.
MI. Bayne, Of Psnnsylvanla-Mr. Chair
man, Il nise 10 ask what Il the businea,
before the Convention. According 10 The
order Of buslness adopted BY the Oonveu,
ton, before We proceed to nominate caudi,
dates for President the, respective State
ahould be called 10 report membau al hi
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-06-06
GEN. sHERmAn's BOON


f. ~ II y erals Position. & 2. y.
q CHICAGO: June 5.-Col. N. A. Reed. ol
the Centralia Sentinel, said to the represen.
tative Of the Associated Press this morning,
that all this talk about General Sherman
not being candidate Is a humbug. Col.
l.. NJ. Dayton, Of Cincinnati. who Was the
Generals personal and most confidential
staff officer, is In. the city and has been cir.
cula.ine extensively among the members
oil the Loyal Legion, Of whom there are a
great number In the city. Col. Dayton
said II knew General Sherman had never
penned any such dispatch .as 1t was
rumorcd he hal, saying that. he would
not serve fs President Of the United S:stea
even though he was nominated. The posi-.
ton is thus: General Sherman has nttain.
ed the highest honors which can be be-
slowed upon any man by; the American
people. He is, aware Of this. On
the contrary John Sherman, while
he hu had great honors be-
slowed upon him, has seen honors be-
yond and above those which he has en-.
Dyed. As long as John Sherman was in
the field or rather until be had reached the
fruision Of his ambition, his brother the
General would not allow, even by implica.
tion, his name 10 be presented, used or
Whispered. Nowit Is certain that John
Sherman does not stand the slightest show
Of being even more than mentioned in. this
Convention. Atthis iuuc.urs the friends
Of General Sherman are In no way antago-
nizing the iihtsreatai Of bis brother Jonn
Sherman, when they. Say ii tho American
people see 1T to honor W. Tscumseh Sher.
man ss candidate Tor the; nomination ol
President Of the Untsed s.ate1, he will not
decline the honor Now" said Col. Day.
ton, "General Shermsn! Is not seeking the
nomination, but his friends have been es
sured that q large number ol delegates will
support him in case It 10 known that he
world NOT daoliue.p tSEsE i'E -
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-06-06
PAT PLANKS=
:. ,sa Be,t pl,tform Ever Given
H' 10 the Party.
+, Campaign Speech In Every
" Paragraph,
,,,l,n,ya' Sermon on tho Mount
AA' Needed to Complete II.
:, Ambiguity in Language OF
Nv Reading l'rtreen Lines,
TIA, 4 pI4in Statement OF Repub'
INV IIr.n Principles.
Tit. pIank on Wool Meets tho Pop
~" ular Demand.
., Ambiguity in Language OF
:" uradIuy lIrtreen Lines,
,,,t \ Plain Statement OF Repub
" IIc.n Principles.
ri, Plank on Wool Meets tho Pop
u!ar Bemlnd.

Ar al I'M ihCHlsttbt't %
4a 49, Il,. .Inau5- 5-'l'he conppicuoul
w., W." :, ,,lay's Inst s.ssion were, frat,
~, a. Oiliss hOl,Ig,s ata ruled out OF the
sos .S.s.J conrva,iou, TINT the basis Of rep.
,",,,iOn '' will rotnain the tame In the
', C,r,su,Ion, md that we have the
w. ,,,,to,m tytry presented by any
''',.v W.. The rule which excluded all oflca
t.Ii,, E would have sreu,ed greater oppo.
.I .r;on n Iopposi.iou had not been hopeless. s..
T.d,, ,hs law oslics.!ollers arc forbidden
:, .olI4r, money from servants Of the Gov.
',,r... sal that Is conclusive. This,
t..svs, did no. pfeven. some ol the
S',,b,,n tili:e.holdera from putting in
,n.i, fable protest. The spcechts oppos'
t.,, rb,u,e In the basis o! representation
.,sn..i The South, and q. once somebody
i..,.d 10 tho from, in behalf Of each caudi'
NO to show that there was no desire 10
,su Inc South Of it1 II u renee.
REPRESENTATION N CONVENTION. Y
The whole opposition outside oi the
Smith vas insiaters. In the South itSwm
nurrly selfish. The speeches against the
minority rspo., lodged the main ipaue and
were designed to hfe ths southern heart
yobojy attempted to show that the Re-
D,b,jcan party was in any way benefited by
ussm which gives to one section dele.
v,,. i,s each 1000 Republican votes and
70 another a delegate for seventeen times
,b,, number. 1.-THE p'opcGition hod come
10 vote Wet Virsiuis would have been
.oIid 10, change oil thebasls. 1t was demon.
,ss.si thu, change can never be effected
miles, the matter shall be brought up after
III, ticse; shall have been chosen. Earlier
than that, the South haags al the sword Of
D,n,clps over every asp!rant.
The reading OF the resolutions filled the
h,use with continuous applause.
A srEEclt ~ EVERY rLASx.
The general tariff plank, which is 80