The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1884-11-28
A THANKSGIVING TURKEY.
The Office Tt Performed in an At
fair of the Heart.
The Old Sea Captain and the Aged Spinster
"A Divided HOuse-How the Chalk
Line Was Obliterated-A
Happy Ending.

On Che eastern shore, hard by the
sea, midway between Essex and Sussex,
lies the town of Kleinhof. The CHIEF
occupation of the inhabitants is the oc-
cuPation of doing nothing. In the
pleasant seasons they entertain visit
ors, and during the unpleasant part Of
the year entertain themselves with the
great and necessary help of what the
summer guest left behind him in the
shape of board money. But be they
and it what they are, we have naught
to do with the town, and naught to dc
with the inhabitants save two, named
Mark Silas, Captain, retired to private
life, and Cynthia Budd, spinster. also
retired to private life.
Captain Silas was called a retired
seq Captain, because, as the story ran,
he had once commanded a stauncb
three-master, and ploWed the main
with it from his childhood to his latter
days. But whether he had ever been
sea Captain, or knew gunwale from
a center-board is another matter, be-
cause every man in Kleinhof who did
nothing, and who had abundant re-
sources to help him do it, was called q
retired sea Captain. Therefore it was
not easy to draw the line between the
genuine and the counterfeit sea Cap
tains who settled in Kleinhof. and
there, by degrees, to the great delight
OF the inhabitants who had not retired
on anything, emptied their money
bags A rumor, however, to the slight
disparagement of the Captains sea-
going qualities had been started on a
pleasure sailing excursion when in a
squall Captain Silas, in his excitement.
shouted: ''Haul in the spanker boom,
and take reef in the center-board.'
Captain Silas lived in a shaded street
in the town, in double house of an
tique pattern. The Captain lived on the
west side and Cynthia Budd on the east
side. Cynthia Budd was comely per
son OF forty odd years, and had re-
manned in the bud, as far as matrimony
was concerned, for that dreary length
OF time. 1t was said and proved after.
ward that Miss Budd had designs upon
the Captains affections and his
money, or his money and his af
Elections. When the Captain returned
from his wanderings to take possession
OF his ancestral house Cynthia Budd
waylaid him at odd intervals, in order
to ensnare him to declaration of his
unbounded love for her-by Offering tc
feed his chickens for him on stormy
mornings, inquiring thirty-seven times
day in regard to his precious health
and by other acts and actions that.spokt
her mind to great perfection. and made
1t As easy to read as the bic lettereC
sentences in the primer.
1t was said and proved afterward,
also that the Captain was at once smit
ten with the charms Of the desionine
spinster, buthe was so pleased with the
fair onslaught and derived so mucl
chuckle and amusement from it, which
relieved greatly the tedium of a life
somewhat monotonous, that he sought
to prolong it. But when another de
signing sold maiden,n disrespectfully
so-called, whispered to Miss Budd thai
the Captain made sport of her, and
Jeered and laughed at the Bachelors
Club about her, her wrath was unbound.
ed, and hard, unwilling hate took the
place of soft and willing love.
At the ancestral double house a new
order OF things was introduced. 1t was
divided house in more than one feat.
ure. The only access from the street
was front door" in the center. that
accommodated both tenants. Inside
was large hall, from which the differ.
ent parts Of both parts were reached
There were two stair-cases and two
doors here and there, making the two
parts OF the house independent of each
other, except the front door accommo.
datiou. A fine rag mat of Miss Budd's
handiwork had been in use before the
door This was drawn to the east side
at once. The Captain supplied 8
boughten mai, but it was quickly thrust
to his side. Later, Miss Budd drew q
chalk line from the center of the door
to the opposite side of the hall. The
Captain understood this, and was care
ful to keep on the west side of it. II
was said that when Miss Budd entered
the mouse she threw wide the door, and
gathering her skirts carefully around
her, tr1pped it on the east half of the
door, and at any and all times observed
the chalk line to hairs breadth The
Captain kept two dogs, and Miss Budd
supported half dozen cats, more or
less, which were lessened yearly when
she made a journey to the river with J
firmly-tied bag. The dogs learned to
creep timidly on the west side of the
entrance and hall, and the cats cluno
to the east side in their ms and outs, az
though they expected to be assaulted
from the other side The siege. how.
ever, was all on one side. The Captain
only chuckled the more and LAUGHED
himself sore.
Miss Budd had paid the Captain the
rent money once in three months, be,
fore hostihties began. She came, Al
that Time Of aspiring love, to conquer
with most smiling mein. She wrote
her own receipts, and the Captain had
nothing to do except sign them. AT thai