Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-17
CHICAGO LAWYERS.


W. w. O'Brien, the criminal lawyer.
was examining juror in the Criminal
court.
DO you know Mr.. Mills, the States
Attorney asked Mr.. O,Brien.
no sir" answered the witness.
Not at all ?s
Only since came into. court"
DID he ever do any business for
you2'
mo, sir
DO you know what kind of a lawyer
he is ?"
II have heard he's good one."
He is, sir, and he is such an elo-
quent one that he is liable to persuade
a juror against his own convictions"
Thanks, Mr.. O'Brien," interposed
Mr.. Mills.
"Oh, don't thank me; thank your
Maker, retorted Mr.. O'Brien
After time It came Mr.. Mills turn
to question the same juror.
do you know Mr.. O'Brien?" he
asked.
Il do not" the juror answered.
Haven't you any acquaintance with
him ?"
None at all"
DO you know anything about him ?"
Il do not"
Ever hear anything about him."
"No, SIR"
did he ever do any business for
you?"
NO, sir"
well, don't thank me-thank your
Maker"
Emery A. Storrs was trying case
before Judge Gary, and was leaving no
stone unturned to win his case, which
was rather desperate one. The Judge
had been ruling against Storrs on point
after point for some time, and finally
became little irritated and said, with
some feeling:
Il must rule against you again, Mr..
Storrs. You must know yourself that
that is clearly inadmissible. An attor-
ney practicing in our courts must be
supposed to know the law"
Great God!" said Storrs, like flash,
If any such rule is enforced what will
become of the bar in this city ?"
Ben Bulwinkle was witness for the
plaintiff in the same suit. At that time
there was not the most cordial feeling,
it is said, between him and Storrs, and
when the latter came to cross-examine
him he assumed logged air, as if de-
termined not to allow Storrs to get the
best of him or indeed to get any salts
faction out of him.
what is your name?" asked Storrs.
"Bullwinkle," was the answer.
"Ah, Bullwinkle, yes. Well, is that
all the name you have, Mr.. Bullwinkle? ?"
"Ben Bullwinkle."
"Ah, Ben Bullwinkle, yes. Well,
what does Ben stand for, Mr.. Bull
winkle?"
Benjamin"
"Ah, Benjamin, indeed; Benjamin
Bullwinkle! Well, is Benjamin Bull
Wrinkle your full name, Mr.. Bullwin-
kle?"
mo, Benjamin B. Ballwinkle," an
swered the witness, beginning to feel
uncomfortable.
"Ah, yes; Benjamin b. Bullwinkle,
indeed. Well, now, allow me to ask
you what does the b. stand for?"
"Buddington.
"Buddington! All, yes; Benjamin
Buddington Bullwinkle. But see you
are wearing species of uniform. What
does that representa-"
captain of the fire insurance pa
troll"
Captain! All, indeed. Well, Capt.
Benjamin Buddington Bullwinkle you
may step down"
Some years ago Storrs was attorney
for Gallup & Peabody in suit brought
by Brandt, the owner of the old Dear
born theater before the fire. 1t APP
peared that Brandt had four sons,
whose given names were, respectively,
George Washington, Napoleon Bona
parte, Victor Emmanuel, and Marshal
Ney. In the progress of the suit,
Storrs. in his inimitable way, had made
several good humored illusions to the
remarkable names borne by Brandt's
four sons, and had greatly amused all
who heard him, with the exception of
the boys themselves. Finally the oldest
son was put on the witness stand.
"What is your name?" asked Mr..
Storrs.
George Washington Brandt, and
I'm not ashamed of the George Wash
ington, either. L"
"One minute there!' interrupted
Storrs. How does George Washing
ton feel about it ?"
Leonard SWEET was once trying case
in Justice court, and got into a hot
dispute with the court about the law.
Mr.. SWEET tried his best to convince the
Justice that he was wrong, but all in
vain. The Justice stuck to his view of
the matter, and would not even listen to
SWEETS representation. Mr.. SWEET was
finally so Disguised that he turned and
began to pick up his law books and pile
them on his arm, preparatory to 1eav-
ing.
"Mr. SWEET, do you mean by that act
to show your contempt of this court 2"
said the Justice.
"No," replied SWEET, "I was simply
trying to conceal my contempt"
Trude, while trying case in North
Side Justice court, once incurred the
anger of the court, and the later said:
"Nfr. Trude, if there is any more of
thil | shall have to fine you for con-
tempt of court"
lou can't do 1t, said Irude.
"T can do It, and will do it."
"There's no law that will allow you
to do it,
"There is. The law allows me to fine
you S."
"Oh, that's nothing at all. I've got
81 900, 900 worth of contempt for you,"
answered Trude.
There was an attorney named Frid-
ley, who was well-known practitioner
at the Chicago bar, years ago, who was
something of wag. He was fined So
for contempt once in a Justice court,
and was taken somewhat by surprise.
I'D like to see your authority for
that" he muttered, and Selling the
statutes he began to examine them.
After long delay, during which he sat
leisurely back, with his feet on the desk
before him, the court said:
"Well, what do you find?"
Il find, said Mr. Fridley as he closed
the book, shat in this State, if a JUS
tice wants to make id fool of him
self there amt no law agin it."-Chi-