davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-07-14
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

The woman who captures a good bus.
band, gets sir prize.
Bella asks: "What is the best thing "a
feed parrot on2 If the parrot belonged
to us we'd feed it on Paris green orar
senic. Harrisburg 1eLegra2h
In Minnesota several girls are railroad
station agents. The company should
station agent at such places. Girls are
more liable to misplace a switch, -
NorTiStooon Herald.
A young pianist says he "always closes
his eyes when he plays 1t is different
with those within hearing distance; they
always close their ears when he plays
N0lTiSt0lCB HeFad
A young poetess says she "told her
secret TO the sweet wild roses. y She was
very imprudent When the sweet, wild
roses blow" she will wish she had kept
her secret to herself.
The theory that the average length d
life is increasing is borne out by the fact
that there are al. present as many suryiv.
ors of the war of 1912 as there were fifty
years ago.-B0ston Post
Z" So you went to the circus, Mary
ooh, yes, and enjoyed myself yer
much. "Did you see the kangaroOn
the menagerie2" 81 did, and felt soT
for it. Poor thing, it is dying, isn'titf
"Why, no; what put that into YOU
head?" The way it acted. When
saw it it seemed to be on its last legs
---lSomv0Ile youraal
MAN VS.. GUN
WHEN HE KICKS
A man is very like a gun,
That fact please try to fix;
For, if he finds he's charged too much,
Why, that's the time he kicks
-Tonkers Statesman
WHEN HE SKIPS.
A man is very like gun,
When the wife begins to scof
And him TO scold like fun,
Why, that's the time he's off.
-Trode Gazette
WHEN HE HANGS FIRE
But most he's like well-used gun,
When you his name desire
Right on the back side of your note
For, 10! he then hangs fire
Hartford Times.
WHEN HE BUSTS.
Then, when he seeks the whisky strag@
To clean his throat of dust
And drinks from early morn till late,
He goes off on bust.
Washington Hatcher
WHEN HE "BAGs GAME"
Also, when he would bag a wife,
A girl whom he doth spark
He pops the question plumb-kerchunE
And often hits the mark.
Chicago Sun
WHEN HE GETS ''FTRED.
And when he courts pretty GIRL
And hangs around too Late;
The old man treats him like churi
And fires him out the gate.
- Rica1nOnd Baton
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-07-14

Cremation is an established usage IN
Japan, the oldest empire in the world.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-07-14
WHEN HE HANGS FIRE.

But most he's like a well-used gun,
When you his name desire
Right on the back side of your note
For, lo he then hangs fire.
Hartford Times.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-07-14
WHEN HE BUsTs

Then, when he seeks the whisky stragh'
To clean his throat of dust,
And drinks from early morn till late.
He goes off on bust.
Washington Hatcher
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-07-14
WHEN HE "BAGs GAME
WHEN HE GETS ..F1RED. y

And when he courts a pretty GIRL
And hangs around too late;
The old man treats him like churI
And fires him out the gate. nil
-RicamOnd Baton
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
Suiciie OF a Forty.siner.

Fielding c. Brown, generally known
about Wall street, New York, as Colonel
Brown, killed himself Tuesday afternoon
by throwing himself from the second
story fire escape Of his fat apartments at
2Ol East Ninety-niuth street. de was in
sane from suffering produced by congestion
of the brain. Colonel Brown was in his
list year. He was borne in kentucky, and
was one of the California Forty miners.
he lived in that state thirty years. He
had large interests in Tombstone, Arizona.
His widow was young girl employed in
Hartford, Conn.,, store when the colonel
first saw her, fifteen years ago. Her
name was Nellie Cominereau. She was a
mulatto, but he took fancy to her, he =
came acquainted with her and married
her. The couple lived happily together.
They had no children. The colonel never
smoked or drank,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
Large Increase otnxpurts

Exports of general merchandise from the
port of New York for the week ended Sat-
urday, December g. as summarized By the
Journal Of Commerce, amounted to
80, 458, 22O, or more than 81, 900, 600 in
crease on the previous week. The chief
items are as follows 9,505, ,096 pounds
cut meats, 6, 496, 314 pounds lard, 7,i75, ia
gallons petroleum, l, 167, 366 pounds tai
low, 1881, 33S pounds cheese, 7I9 900
bushels wheat, 513, 754 bushels corn,
2I3, 500 pounds butter, 246, il6 pounds
manufactured tobacco, Ia O94 barrels
flour, So 626 bushels rye, p 40i bales
cation. NJ OLE hs~~s~~i- --.-- -. .Sao --u---
lard oil, 6,l26 barrels pork, :, POI packages
drygoods. These figures show large in
crease on those for either of the past eight
weeks, aud are encouraging of that i'm
provemeut expected with general revival
Of confidence.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
a Mothes's Horrible Deed

At Thornburg station. on the Burling.
ton, Cedar Rapids Il Northern railroad,
five miles north OF What Cheer, Iowa,
Mrs. William Schultz on Monday killed
her two children by cutting their throats
with q razor and then terminated her own
existence in the same manner.
The elder child was about two years OF
age ;the younger about six months. Their
heads were almost severed from Their
bodies.
The deed was committed while the
woman's husband was out doing his morn
ing chores. She and her husband lived
together apparently very happily aud no
cause is known for her aot. She is
supposed to have been laboripg under a
sudden fit of insanity.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
Not q Very Good Bar..,,

The new Spanish treaty does not gain
favor as its featares are dwelt upon.
1t is too conspicuously measure for the
benefit OF the sugar and tobacco planters
OF Spain and Porto Rico, and Is 80 one
sided q bargain as to plainly indicate it's
suggestion by private interests. The
commercial treaty with Mexico, which
has the general features Of the Spanish
treaty, has not yet been ratified and
probably viii not be under the discus
sion which the Spanish treaty viii
evolves though Mexico Is In q very
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10

different situation in relation to this
country from that which is occupied by
the West India islands. She would take
most of our products and manufactures
and shove off upon us less of
hers. With so close neighbor
as Mexico 1t would be we'll to have the
least possible restriction upon our trade
arrangements and the Mexican treaty
may be advantageous to us when the
Spanish treaty with like provisions is
quite otherwise. If we are going to let
Cuban sugar and tobacco in free, we
should throw our ports open to the like
products OF other countries. There is
no conceivable reason for paying this
heavy price for Cuban trade which does
not exist in stronger degree as an in
ducement to seek the trade of more
populous countries.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
THE BRiTisH ISLES,
DR.. Appis's seeond Lecture on lmpressi ops
of Earope.


Rev. Thomas G. Apple, president OF
franklin and Marshall college last evening
delivered in the college chapel, the second
OF q course of lectures on Impressions oi
Europe" His theme was the British
lsles." subiec. which he discussed in his
hrst lecture. After some further remarks
on the Lakes of Killarney, which he had
described at some length in his first lee
ture. he led his audience to the city of
Dublin. These among other places o.
interest he saw the birth place of the
Duke OF Wellington, OF Thomas Moore
and other great men dear to the hearts of
Ireland.
From Dublin he went to Glasgow, allow
ing his followers few passing giimpses
at the Giants Causeway and other objects
CT interest along the route. He spoke of
Glasgow as "a city as busy as our own
New York" Many places of interest in
this city were referred to, among which
we may mention its great cathedral.
From Glasgow he set out for the regions
of the Scottish lakes, OF whose romafitic
scenery he gave his hearers vivid i'm
preston. - These regions are interesting
in themselves, but they are moro so be :.
cause every spot is noted for some event
narrated by Walter Scott and others,n
From the Scottish lakes he conducted
his audience to Edinburgh, where, he
said, one might rejoice to have his home
over all places in the British Isles.n On
his way to Edinburgh he stopped at
the native town Of Robert Burns and
other places famous 10 Scottish literature
From Edinburgh he went to London,
casting cursory glances on many points Of
interest and beauty along the way.
VI England's agricultural districts he
says that "they are much like the agri.
cultural districts of our own state, lacking,
however, the freshness of our state and
containing no forests. In many respects
the farming districts of our own Lancaster
county are superior to those of old Eng
OF London he said, ION entering its
suburbs, one feels as it were the beating of
its great heart" "New York and Phila.
delphia are but small in comparison with
London"
Many places of historic and literary
fame were referred to, aud such thoughts
were expressed in connection with them as
would naturally suggest themselves to a
mind OF such broad and mature culture.
The doctor then proceeded to give his
Impressions of British civivilization as
compared with our own. Here 1t at once
became evident that he felt himself more
at home. His oountenance became more
expressive and his manners more earnest.
From his remarks one might gather that
he felt strong admiration for the English
but We should rather say that
they show that spirit of genuine culture
which is willing to give credit to what is
good In things not its OVID, and to 40.
knowledge the evil in what is its own.
The doctor spoke In his accustomed
energetic style, and the appreciation of his
audience was shown In the undivided at
tention they gave the speaker for more
than an hour.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
Important Religious gatherings

The world is all the better for the
periodical gatherings of the representa-
tive men of different religious creeds,
and their influence is always for good.
They serve to recall the busiest of the
worlds workers to the thought of the
hereafter, and its contemplation must
have SOLDERING effect. The great
Episcopal convocation in Philadelphia
during the present year left its impress
in broadened road of travel for the
Anglican communion, aud the dis.
Ginguished laymen who participated in
its deliberations obtained for it respect
full hearing even from those who deny
the possibility of revealed truth. sotoo
Wilt be with the great Methodist con.
ference that convenes in Baltimore to
day. So has it been with the Catholic
plenary council that has just closed its
deliberations in the latter city.
The last named body has taken many
progressive steps at its recent session to
keep pace with the advancement of the
greatest republic ON earth. Church
government will hereafter be in the
hands of democracy instead of an
autocracy. In times past the bishop of
a diocese was the sole Judge of a parish
priests fitness for his sacred office, and
his decision was subject only to reversal
by the pope, the means to attain which
being necessarily tedious and expensive
According to the DEGREES framed by the
plenary council a certain number of
pastors will be rendered irremovable,
except for misbehavior, the burden Of
the proof Of which is on the bishop
and every bishop will have six consult
ing priests, irremovable by virtue of
their office, who will form a council for
the redress of grievances in the diocese
and who, In conjunction with the other
irremovable priests, will name the
bishops successor.
This Is long step in the direction of
democratic rule In the church, as the
priests are only removed one grade above
the people whom they represent. It
Will, no doubt, have a good effect In
quieting animosities that always arise
when monlentous decision is required
from single person.
Another movement that has been an
incidental outgrowth Of this council
may play an important part In the edu-
cational life of the country. Steps have
been taken to establish Catholic uni
versity to cost So, 900, and half Of
that amount is believed to be already
assured, one donor, Miss Mary Caldwell,
of New York, having already given
xS0o.o0O for that purpose. This will
have the effect of coalescing the best |
parts of the many Catholic moribund
educational institutions of the country |
and must give a marked impulse to |
Catholic culture. The Methodist con.
ference may find good material for re-
lection in this Catholic educational
enterprise.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
PERSONAL,

REPRESENTATIVE CHARLES Z. BOYLE
| OF Fayette county, made a fine impression
in his first speech before the House on
Tuesday on the inter state commerce bill.
Gov. PATTIsoN will make the speech
presenting banner to the Central Demo-
cratic club, of Harrisburg. on behalf OF
tbs ladies Of that city, on Jackson g birth.
day.
GENERAL WADE HAMPTON has been
reelected United States senator from
South Carolina, receiving all but five
votes from colored representatives in the
Legislature.
JOHN BIsHoP, New York profiigste,
not more than year ago was worth
s25O, 600. On Tuesday he was sent psnni.
less to Blackwelps Island for drunkenness
and vagranoy.
PIERRE PREFAUx was long known on
the streets of Pittsburg as an old, blind
beggar. He died few days ago when il
was discovered that he had on deposit at a
city bank 1000.
Mr.. VEESoR, before his death, predic.
ted that the fall of 1884 would be yery
open, with mild, unsettled winter To
follow with great falls of rain and snow.
DC also predicted an unusually green
Christmas and mild New Year.
TENNYsoN's new drama "Thomas A.
Beckett " has just appeared in London.
The poet says the work is not intended in
It's present form to meet the exigeneies of
the modern theatre. II IL +" meets the
exigenciss " OF the modern reading pub.
lic, all win be we'll. f
MISS MARY CALDWELL, who has given
$500, 600 towards the establishment of a
National Catholic university, is the
daughter Of the late W.S Caldwell. of
New York. The parents of Miss Cald-
we'll died few years ago. The Caldwell
villa at Newport is well known as the
ab b.ding place at that resort of Cardinal
McCloskey and other eminent Catholics,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10

The primary and moving cause for the
enactment OF the bill substituting sala-
rieo for the compensation by fees In the
county Offices in this county was the
weIl-grounded popular belief that sys-
tenn Of gross overcharges prevailed in
most Of these offices that IL would
continue 80 long - the inducement re.
manned for officers to take all they could
get, and that the large revenues of these
ofices melted the ring politicians to run
speculative candidates for them, who
msde no pretense to attend to their
duties and could afford to sublet them
to subordinates.
With all its crudities and some disad.
vantageous features, the new law is
expected to correct these evils and the
public is interested in having it rigidly
carried out. In order that the official
might have inducement to collect the
fees which are henceforth to 60 into the
county treasury, it is fixed that his salary
il never to be in excess of the net receipts
Of his office and as the fee bill il to be
conspicuously displayed, the fees to be
paid in advance and to 60 into the county
treasury instead Of the oficeholder's till,
there Is no reason why anyone having
business at q county ofi,e should hence.
forth suffer the imposition Of illegal fees.
But the rights and interests of the
public do not stop there. 1t is obvious
that In the offices which do not earn
enough fees to pay their expenses and
ample clerk hire,it will be to the interest
Of the incumbent to increase his emolu-
ments by cutting down his force below
the requirements of the public service.
On the other hand, in the offices which
afford fine harvest Of fees the tendency
will be to divide the revenues belonging
to the county among an unnecessary
force Of clerks. 1t will require discretion,
firmness and devotion to public duty on
the part of the new boards of commits.
sioners and auditors to prevent either of
these abuses.
There Is one safe rule by which they
can afford to be guided. Past expe-
rience has shown about how many men
are required to run these offices the
new law requires the personal attend
ance upon duty of the official himself.
Where one man has hitherto tesn suffi.
cient for an office, it is manifestly
: entitled to no clerk where two have
been required hitherto one clerk now
will be ample allowance 4; in all cases it
must be counted that the officer elect
will give his time and attention to the
Office, or pay his substitute out of bis
own pocket.
The new county officers were elected
under this law they knew what they had
toexpect Of it, and they have no right to
complain fnor to evade its strict opera
tion.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
A TRIPLE MURDER TALE.
WORK or rwU rIxspusu SraKoHs
In the aui,e OF Friends They Enter , Man.
House st Nigns ana Leave rhres
O0rpses Bepipd Than

In the aui.e OF Fsiends They Enter |, Man.
House at NiEns ana Leave rhres
Oorpses Benind Them.
The steamer Naiad reached Eufaula,
Ala, tuesday morning, with Moses
kestop, alias Bill jackson, and wife.
arrested in Columbus, Ga, for completely
in the Mitchell county (Ga.) triple mur
joined here in pursuit of the tueitiyes by
ex Officer James Creyon and the party TO
whom jackson sold the stolen horse and
buggy. The negro resisted arrest at first,
but finally yielded. When asked as
to his completely in tho murder he
knew nothing. He Acknowledged
that he sold Godwin's buggy, but
said q white man had given IL to him,
together with 800, and told him to do as
he pleased with it. His wife, however.
made confession as follows: About II
o'clock on the night of Dec. 2nd, Moses
keaton Jackson and wife and another
negro named Pete went to Godwip's house
for the purpose of robbing him. The
woman protested, but her husband drew
knife and told her If she did not stand at
the gate of the front yard and give warn
ing Of any approach he would kill her.
The men then attempted to force an en-.
trance, but alarmed Goodwin, who called to
know who it was. He was answered by
Moses, who said "It's me, Mr.. Goodwin (;
me and Pete; we's been out possum
huntin, and got cold and thought we
would come BY and see if your fire had
gone out" Mr.. God win opened the door
and let them into the fire and went to bed
again, but instead of remaining awake to
let them out again he went to sleep, aud
by his own fire they plotted his murder.
a kniie and an axe were used to do the
| execution. Goodwin was dispatched first
| aud then young Richard Gregory, Both
were murdered yhile asleep, but when the
| negroes came to Mrs. Gregory she awoke
and struggle ensued. Mrs. Gregory
| begged for life, but finding the tends
remorseless she fought for it. Her strug-
giles were useless, however, and soon she
was q mangled corpse at the
ieet of the murderers. Her body
was SO bruised and hacked with
knife and axe as to be almost beyond
recognition. The murderers searched for
booty, but no money being found, they
left the house covered with blood to ioin
the woman outside, and then went to the
lot and took the horse and buggy, Moses
remarking that there would sta time, in
the morning when the bodies were dis
covered. demonstrated with BY his wife
he ordered her to be silent, and said he
would do the Same thing over again.
| Moses accomplioe, Pete, is still at large.
Moses is not aware that his wife has made
confession. He is a young, black negro.
aged about 20. and an ordinary field hand
de manifests indifference, but when he
arrives at the scene of his crime il Ia not
probable he will be allowed much time for
repentance.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
mEraOprsrs IN srssius.
A Reception Tn the Delegates OF the Center
NAL sinpfrFaneA.

The Methodist Episcopal centennial con
ference, which opened in Baltimore, Md,
Tuesday evening BY d reception in the NJ.
h. church at Charles and Fayette streets,
promises to be q great success. The
church building was entirely inadequate
to hold those who desired to participate
in the opening oerem lnics. Tho delegates
to the conference number over 500, aud
majority Of them, particularly the clerical
delegates, are already there, and most of
them are provided for in the families of
Methodists, as well as those of other de-
nominations. In fact, the citizens generally
take warm interest in ths matter, aud as
many more delegates would find q hearty
welcome in their homes. Governor Patti
son, of Pennsylvania, was among the
arrivals Tuesday. He was met by 1hos.
). Bare, esq, with whom he is aging.
Hon. Asar Hall, OF Texas, ard Judge
Fancher, of New York, also lay dele
gates, arrived 10 the city, The
| bishops OF the church, who are
of course delegates, aud most of
whom will be present, number Of them
already being in the city, are: Rev. Bishop
Thomas Bowman, D. D., LII. d.. Rev.
Bishop William l.. Harris, ID. d, LII. ID /;
Rev. Bishop Randolph s. Foster, d. D..
LII. D; Rev. Bishop Stephen NJ. Merrill,
/ - ~, NoNs olSN't Il"s w. huuEtWS,
ID. d, LII. D; Rev. Bishop Henry w.
wanner, D. d. Rev. Bishop Cyrus C.
Foss, d. D., LII. D; Rev. Bishop John f.
Hurst, ID. d., LII. d. Rev. Bishop
William X. Ninde, D. D.; Rev. Bishop
John NJ. Walden, D.. ID, Rev. Bishop
William +. Mallalieu. d. d. Rev. Bishop
Charles II. Fowler d. D., LII d. Rev.
Bishop William Taylor, d. d., of the
NJ. Z. Church North. The following
represent the NJ L. Church South Rev.
Bishop Fl. n. McTysre, ID. D., LII. D.,
Nashville, Tenn. Rev. Bishop John c.
keener, ID. D., New Orleans; Rev. Bishop
A. n. Wilson. ID. D., LII. d, Baltimore,
Md. Rev. Bishop Linus Parker, d. D.,
New Orleans, La. Rev. Bishop Grsu-
berry, ID. D., Richmond Rev. Bishop Il.
African NJ, E. church will be represented
with others by Rev. Bishop ]. p. Camp
bell, d. D., Rev. Bishop A, W. Wayman,
d. d., Rev. Bishop Il, II. Cain, d. D.
all OF philadelphia, Rev. Bishop w.
F, Dickersou, ID, D., of Columbus, S. c.,
and Rev. Bishop L. NJ. d. Ward The
African NJ. Z. church Zion send Rev.
Bishop S. T. Jones, d. D., Washington.
ID. C., and Bishop J. W. Hood, Fayette
vile. n. G. The Rev. Bishop l.. II.
Hoisey, of Augusta Ca, and Rev. Bishop
J. A. Bsebe,, of North Carolina represent
the Colored NJ T.. church of America
The Primitive Methodist church, the
Canada III. Z. church and the Independent
Methodist church, will also be represented
and the Methodist Protestant church will
send fraternal delegates. This conference
possesses no legislative powers, and, there
fore, essays will be read and discussed.
Much will tell OF the work of Methodism
a hundred years ago, the causes of its
success, what Methodism owes to woman
and other subjects Of intsres. to Metho-
dists.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-10
Uoai for she Poor.

The Buchanan MoEvoy Reynolds relief
committee Of councils met at the Inayor's
office on Tuesday evening to revise the
list OF applications for coal from the above
fund. There were 456 applicants, and the
committees funds will only buy GOAL for
372 persons. The COMMITTEES will meet
again this evening aud the officers of the
several wards will be ask cd to take from
the list those who can do without the coal
this winter, 30 az TO reduce the list to the
number for which there are funds on hand.