The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1884-02-23
TIE PREVAILING QUESTION.

my dear. - said Mrs. Spoopendyke, hold
ing up o@e of her husbands scarfs, with
her head very much on one side, and
wondering whether she had better turn
1t Cor future wear or cut it into patches
for her crazy quilt; MY DEAR see that
the Democrats are opposed to having the
Republicans build more ships to protect
the tariff. DO you know anything about
it,"
'Whered you see it," demanded Mr..
S?oopendyke, shutting his book with
Dang and scrutinizing his wife carefully.
What report of a walking match did
you get that political intelligence from?''
1T $ in all the papers, protested Mrs.
Sponpendyke. AS near rs | could
make ont from what they said, the Re-
publican navy had run down so much
that the Democrats were afraid we
couldn't defend the tariff in case of
war. and the English would come over
here and run away with it. Though l
don't see what the English would 90
with it, for they have all they can do in
getting along with Ireland
Did that paper advertise the advan-
tages of any especial lunatic asylum that
you noticeC?" inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke,
with much apparent interest in the reply.
Did it set forth the superiority of any
particular style of wooden head over the
genuine article? What's the navy got to
do with the tariff, anyway? Do You
know the difference between the tariff
ana Tom cat?'
Its something Democratic, isn't it?'
mumbled Mrs. Spoopendyke, who had
made mp her mind to put the scarf into
the crazy quilt. When the Republi-
cans had it, it got pretty high. and | saw
by one of the papers that the Democrats
were standing on it now. | suppose to
keep it down. Really, don't see why
they don't let the English have it if it is
such bother, because
'I.onk here" interrupted l1r. Spoo-
penlA Ike. with a groan of despair. .'IIave
you got an idea that the tariff is some
kind of an animal? Think it works on
springs? viii you convey to my mind
some kind of a R0tion of what yeu think
| the thing ISL
i don't know, replied Mrs Spoopen-
| I'LL e, II oil
they have said about it, ] got the i'm :
| preston that it was made OF iron and
stuffed with wool, though, OF course,
That it, retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke
so!cmniy. You know more about it
| than Thought You did And | suppose
you think they stand it up on one end
between tho two political parties, and
the one which succeeds in pushing it
over on The other wins the election
Yes chirped Mrs. Spoopendyke de
lighted to find that she had made her
self understood Il know all that, but
what puZzlef me is how tie Democrats
can be standing on it when the Republi-
eats got their President after all.
| ihnoW--
"Iou know roared Mr.. Spoopendyke,
unable to stand It any longer. That's
the trouble with you; you know it all
Take what you know with what you be,
lieve, and You only want few illustra,
tons and a lively agent to be IA three ply
directory. Did it ever occur to you that
the tariff might be the duty imposed on
the Importation of foreign goods? Did
any of the papers You have been making
mind"
Then | understood it perfectly,
smiled MIS-. Spoopendyke, preparing tc
impart her views. And that's the
reason the Democrats Want it, so En-,
gland won't get the Irish
WHO said anything about the Irish
and English9' demanded Mr.. Spoopen
dyke. Il said the importation of goods
not people. Think they send Irishmer
over here in bales marked This end up?
Does it run in your rafting skull that
our revenue is derived from canned Irish
men, or Irishmen in the original wood:
| tell We, we put IA tariff on foreign manu-
features, ard the question is now whe
Their the tariff shall be reduced or not
Now, you settle down on that, and see i
you can make anything of it..
Certainly" replied Mrs. Spoopen
dyke, all at sea again. 1--WE have got tt
make sure of foreign goods, and l sup
pose that is really the only way to pro
tect them. If we didn't do that We
wouldn't have anything but-but these
things that-that we seem able to-tt
To WHAT" asked Mr.. Spoopendyke
seeing that his wife was beginning t.
wonder, and bouncing down on her
Don't hesitate to explain yourself
There's no monopoly of the idiocy le
loose on this question:
Well" continued Mrs. Spoopendyke
thus encouraged, eff it wasn't for the
tariff we'd only have American things
and i'll that case the Republicans wou!t
win every election"
Did that big intellect of yours ex
tract that position f.om my explana
tion?" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke, wht
prided himself Oh the lucidity Will
which lie generally pnt things. Can
YOU understand that the Democrats want
10 pat down the tariff SO goods will come
in free, while the Republicans want 4;
tariff SO as to make EN- pay9' Will
have to build an annex to your head fol
that idea to slop over into
YES, yes,' murmured Mrs. Spoopen
dyke. That was the part wanted tc
know. But, say, dear, suppose the Re
poor Democrats. They haven't got any
thing to pay with. Why don't they !e,
them go free So they can catch np?"
Mr.. Spoopenuyke looked around the
room for Il moment as though lie ex
pected the walls to help him out. Ther
he slowly drew of his clothes, jammeo
them solemnly into the boot bag, and
with heavy sigh dropped in bed.
) Il don't care muttered Mrs. Spoo
pendyke. ut isn't often get the best
of him in an argument, but when do he
never says a word. Some men would
talk all night rather than give up. To