Democratic Northwest. [volume] (Napoleon, Ohio) 1869-1894, 1884-01-31
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3 In most laree towns residents call
first % newcomers. i > rule laid down
BY writer in the Bdsar. In Wasning-
ton this etiquette & reversed. and new
comers call first on the residents.
Every one. from the highest officials
down, returns these. and after this
ceremony the caller generally finds him
self invited TO the receptions of the
President and his Cabinet. the houses
Of the officers Of the army and navy,
the Judges of the Supreme Court, and
those of Senators AMI Representatives, +,
Formerly no etiquette was necessary at
the te-House; every one .rushed in
TO reception without the formality of
cards. n
The social arrangements of Washing
ton are so convenient that it is thousand
pities that this etiquette does not go into
practice all over our land, as no resi-
dent Of large city can possibly know
whether her dearest friend is in town
unless informed of that fact. This does
not, as some might fear, expose society
TO the entree of unwelcome intruders.
Tact which is the only guide through
the mazes of society, will always
enable anyone to avoid an unwelcome
intimacy or doubtful acquaintance,
should such person call first. Now
the question comes up-and here doc
tors disagree-wheu may lady call by
proxy, or when may she send her card?
and when must she call in person?
After dinner-party a lady must call
in person and inquire if the lady. of the
house is at home Fer other entertain
ments it is allowable forher 20 send her
daughter, her governess, or her maid
with her card, or she may send her
card BY mail. In sending to inquire
for persons health, cards may be
sent bv servants with a kindly message.
No first visit, however, should be re-
turned by card only. This would be
considered slight unless it were fol-
lowed by an invitation. But the size of
New York, the great distances, the busy
life of a woman of charities and large
family, and an immense circle of friends
often render a personal visit impossible.
She may be considered to have done
her duty if she in her turn ask her new
acquaintance to call on her on speci-
fed day. We have thus far looked at
the question from the standpoint of
lady who has an assured position and
too MANY friends. We viii now look
upon it from the light of q person who
has no (or very few) acqualn,ances and
no introduclions. We have considered
the question negatively. We are all
more or less newcomers in this new
land; we are all carpet-baggers, or may
be; 80 we will look at it affirmatively.
We will suppose that q young couple
marry and go to Milwaukee; they do
not know ANYBODY; they are alone.
The husband makes his business friends;
they take a seat in church; they have
house. The young bride feels lonely.
She would like TO know Mines. A, B,
and Z; but they do not call upon her;
she is afraid to call upon them; she is
unhappy. She asks what shall she do.
Undoubtedly did Mines. A, B, and G
know this they would go and call.
Certainly the large-minded and kind.
hearted would. But they are preoccu-
pied; they know nothing of her; they
are busy. 1t is hard position, and
one which is the cause of much social
strife.
The Count Gurowski, in hisAook on
America, mentions the fact that '3yery
American woman is afraid of every
other" He was an old aristocrat, and
he looked upon our attempts at exclu-
siveness with a derisive scorn. He
said that the habits of American life
were those of the burgers of prosperous
towns like Hamburg and Antwerp, that
they seldom. if ever, rose much above
contracted elegance. with NO entour-
age of nobility, but that he would hear
the wife of one respectable doctor talk of
keeping the wife of another respecta-
BILE doctor ''out of society,"" as the
Countess Ida might speak Of the pre-
sumption of her former dressing-maid.
There is an exclusiveness which is
honorable and right. No one can pre-
tend that there is not. No one pretends
that Mrs. Brown or Mrs. Jones' is to
have an unsympathetic person foisted
upon her. She is to selec. her own
friends, and she may with propriety
say that Mrs. Clark is unsympathetic
and not TO her taste Tnere are Mrs.
Clarks in this world who show very
great want of delicacy in forcing them
selves upon society. just as there arc
nervous and timid snohs who are think
ing OF the shadowy boundary-line, their
position; both are to be avoided. af
We see no less of taste. however, in
business of first call, even should it
not be returned. A young woman in
new city who has not been introduced,
if she is sure of her respec ability and
that of her husband. may certainly call
on her clerg man $ family, that Of h
doctors, and her opposite neighbor, if
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