Morning journal and courier., 1884-07-12
NOMINATED.
Just as the youth is bent the twig's in olinsd.-Texas Siftings.

l Just as the youth is bent the twig's in- olinsd'-Texas Siftings.
 l The death of William the Silent is to be
 celebrated in Holland. The day will be made hideous with noise.-New Orleans Picsy unne. A New York dentist makes false teeth for l dogs. But the dogs will probably continue,
 as heretofore, to insert their own teeth Boston Transcript.
 There are no public drinking fountains in New Orleans. If there were, somebody would 1 start summer opera houses near them, and sell beer.-NeW Orleans Picayune. ''Clothesl" exclaimed Yeast the other morn l ing to his wife, who was Opportuning her | husband for some summer ixings; "why, l haven't respectable pair of trousers to my back!'-Yonkers Statesman. bio Lewis says the coming woman will be as large at the waist as any other part of the body Chicago girls, then, are not coming They can never hope to be as large at the
 waist as at the ground.-Boston Times. ''Begorra, I've always been Dimmycrat but I'll vote for Logan this toime," exclaim- ed an enthusiastic 1rishmsR the glorious Fourth. When asked his reasons, he re- piled, 'sShure an the papers sez he murders the English, and bo the powers, oim down
 on the English! Herald. A western paper says that wild woman is
 running at large in the mountains of Oregon But whether her wildness was caused by the refusal of husband to crown her with $17 bonnet or the decination of her young man to help to shingle the roof of the village ice l cream dealer does not appear.-Yonkers Statesman.
 "So you've been to Saratoga, Mrs Greene?" ''Yes, and it's a regular swindle Everybody praised the water there, being very beneficial; and went to work, and had | made for me lovely bathing suit. And if n chanoA Shnu it after I got there. The people don't bathe in the water; they drink it."-Boston Tran script
 A lady iu New York city has just finished a
 silk quilt composed of IA, GOO pieces, each about the size of ten-cent piece She was seven years engaged on the quilt, and it is
 valued at $59O. She could have made more
 money in seven years by making shirts at forty cents 8 dozen, but we don't suppose she ever thought of that.-Norristown Herald.
 Some of the Democratic editors refuse to
 discover 8 redeeming trait in Blaine They
 should try to emulate that old lady who had l good word for everybody. Il believe, grandma, you could find something tD say in praise of the devil," remarked one of her
 sons ''Well," responded the old lady, ad justing her spectacles, 1T think Satan de serves a great deal of credit for his per
 severance '-Texas Siftings. sThe moon is waning" Elfrida said, sit ting little closer to Ethelred to keep off the malaria. ''Yes," said old Sir Marmalade, her ] sire who had crossed the piazza at that mo- | ment, land the swain is incoming Flaw, haw, haw!'' and he was gone. Ethelred shudder- l ed and drew EIfrida to his side until she had 1 to breathe in her mind. s'Thank heaven" he said earnestly, ''that the moon is not l waxing I tremble to think what joke it might have suggested to him. ."-Brooklyn Eagle.
 s'Is the editor in?" asked the farmer, As he opened the sanctum door, "Out eh7 We'll, give him this basket, And say it's from old John Moole." t'They're some entrants as we've been a-ra1s1n', And hope he won't take no offence If ask him to give 'em notice In the column of current events" The office boy grabbed for tha farmer, And kicked his dog over the stair; Then smilsd aloud in his boyish delight, As the cries of that current the air. -Norr1stown Herald.