Press and daily Dakotaian. (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1880-1889, 1884-02-27
ODDS AND ENDS.

committee is talked of. %
9" ODDS AND ENDS.
The English language is fast becoming |
the English slanguage.
When man tells an improbable story |
nowadays the people all shout with one
accord: "Why, what . MaplesonianP
FIFTY young and good looking women
have sailed for New Caledonia. to be
married to we'll l.behaved oonvicts," says
. recent London letter.
sJulia Ann, what is this wad I found
in the hash2" "Oh." exclaimed Julia
Ann, delighted, "that is one of my frizzes.
I am glad you found it."
The census proves that the number OF
persons in family in this country 10 q
small fraction over Eve. In some fami-
lies the husband 10 the -small fraction
over.
hss hqs0spa spirits s"'!; :PPesss a1 %
his wife, "if they didn't come 90 high /
should have had new fur sacque this
winter.
A very homely and rough Irishman
married . beautiful heiress in Texas.
She didn't marry him for love. She got
''shtuck on his shape"
II declarev' exclaimed Brown, II be-
lieve have forgotten all ever knew"
"Sorry to hear it," remarked Jones;
"however, you can take an hour some
day, and learn it all over again"
Eight years ago poor New York me-
chanic invented glove fastener-a piece
of cord six inches long and dozen little
hooks or buttons. BE now owns block
OF houses that would sell for $500,O00.
"It it be true that the hairs of ones
head are ali numbered" said the man
after he had escaped from his wife's
clutches, "there will be ono angel at
least who will show up with big de.
ficit."
What this country is ycarninR for is q
public school system which will teach
the wives of the future that light house,
keeping is something more than reading
novels and starching their husbands
stockings.
"Where is the girl of lorg ago?' sang
Joaquin Miller. We saw her the other
day, Joaq. But she isn't girl no more.
She had gray hair and . wart on her
nose. had no teeth and wore specks.-
Salon Sunbeam.
A Duluth man was fined fourteen
dollars for kissing pretty girl, and ten
minutes later he was looking around for
her in order that he might embeSzle an.
other wad of bliss at the came price. He
regarded it as away below the market
value of the goods.
Sir John Lubbock has trained black
poodle to present different cards Wien
words "food," "out," and "bone" are
printed on them, and the animal has
been trained to associate these cards
with the desired events of the day.
A hotel man in Philadelphia who had
been troubled with guests blowing out
the gas is said to have obviated the diff
Guilty by posting this notice: "The rela-
tives and friends of guests who blow out
the gas will have to pay for the amount
wasted before the body will be deliv.
ered."
'No, sir, you needn't read me nothin'
abeaut no mysterious murders nor dis.
appearances nor barbarities in lunertic
asylums," said the old lady. "There
haint nothin' the matter with my liver
nor my lights, nor yet with my internal
commotions an ye can't pass off no
pattern medicint puff onto me for . story
ef be a.growin old" That old lady
had been "warnered" and was safe.
Kisses are worth more in Indiana than
in Pennsylvania. It cost man three
hundred dollars for kissing school
teacher in tho former state, and Jury in
the latter state only allowed three hun
dred dollars damages recently to 9
woman who swore he had kissed hel
thirty thousand times. An Indiana
mans kiss may do more damage, how.
ever, than Pennsylvanian's.-Peek'.
Sun.
Little Nell-Now Johnny, pretend thi'
is our house, and I'm mamma and yor
are gentleman and his wife come to SET
me. Johuny-But can't be gentle
man and his wife too. Little Nsll-No
of course not. There is that horrid dog
of Jimmy Browns on the porch. Bling
him in and pretend the dog is your wife
Johnny-An right. But you hate thai
dog, I know you do. Little Nell-Oh
that don't make any difference. It's al
pretend, you know. Coax him in anG
Ill hug and kiss him, and 70 on just like
mamma does when Mrs. Blank calls
That's the way to be polite. You know.