Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-12-26
HUMOR or THE DAY.

4 trade sccnter-Tnc drummer
An advance agent-The pawnbroker's
clerk.
Woman's sphere-An apple dumpling.
-Jadgs.
An extension tab,e-the multiplication
table.-Sgtinys.
Clouds come high, but we must have
them. .-HrcdGlt- Irucoier.
Song of the deaf mute" Man Wants
but Little Hear Below. n-Htchst.
A land slide is the most significant
movement in real estate.-Ptc1yltae.
Motto of the cornet player-An high
for an high and toot for toot.-
Hptciet.
Raisins are sometimes like prophets
for instance, when they are stoned
L0veiL CoW.er.
Man is m}n's greatest study, and
how to get ahead of him his most pers.s-
tent. ."-B1aton Globe.
The evil men do invariably live after
them. The inventor of the hand organ is
dead. Blizzard.
"AnOthcr cut down" remarked the
barber, as he shaved the upper lip of
youthful customer. --BJSt0@ Transcript.
'My Mother-in- Law is the name of
new novel. We have not read it, We
hate war and gore stories. Philadelphia
IellaY.
5 Irishmen are proyerbial for their in
tense admiration of the fair sex. This IS
probably because so many of the ladies
are home rulers. -Bjisgard.
The king of Portugal buttons up his
coat with diamond buttons, and we still
use the same old safety pins to button
ours with.-St. Ptm Hsra!d.
The ancients thought the world was
square. The nineteenth century, how.
ever, knows there is very little square
about it. t.-Pittsjuyg Isisgrlph.
Reflection ofau inebriate; "It's curious,
isn't it? When I'm drunk, everybody
knows it; but when I'm thirsty, nobody
pays any attention to the fact"
Life is real, anl grl' are earnest,
II they can't get what they like
TaEy, cream aud kindred goodies
They will organize strike
--Chicago Sun.
An exchange says Ground waists are
still in fashion" We should hope so
What would become of us if il gets to
three -cornered or pent0gonaI waisSsl-
Boston Post.
"ITave YOU corns2n blandly asked the
corn plaster pedder at the basy mans
elbow. Eyes; l am supplied,' an
swerel the busy man, without looking
up.-B05t0a Transcript.
A Walnut Hills girl is mad with
downtown drug clerk because when she
asked him for something to bang her
hair with he told her they didn't keep
curry-combs. Merchant Tra0e'er.
The latest craze in Boston is to teach
the children to play the tddle. The
great number of people seen daily regis
tered at the hotels from Boston is now
accounted for.-.St, Paul Horad.
''You want to aim very low when you
are hunting the bison," said the old
hunter. i.,t' How lowe asked the tender
foot. "Buiralo," replied the old hun
ter, without struggle. .-Ht,okeye.
~ like good solid substantial food"
remarked Mrs. Jarphly at the breakfast
table. els that why you bake such
solid bread, mah' inquired johnnie,
and he heIda close communion with his
mothers slipper, ,--Ptttsburg Chronicle.
There was young girl in Jamaica,
Ran off with the pastry cook baker;
But the ague he caught,
And by nalure was taught
That the best thing he could do was to shake
ibHr
-SVt1lgs.
They had been quarreling about his
next summer clothes. She wanted to
have his light suit cleaned up for 1885,
and he wanted heavier suit. whats
the use of fighting about thisl" he said,
finally. 81 may be in the cemetery next
summer" al think" she replied, ''you
will need your summer clothes wherever
you may be. - Graphic,