The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1884-12-17
A DISASTROUS DINNER.
The catastrophe That Accompa-
MED a Neighborly Reunion
Poor Sister MitlandE Misfortune The
Pride That Went Before Great Fall
Brother Drumley Partially Enact
Ing the Role of a Sampson
tArkansaw Trayeler.1

\ [Arkansaw Traveler1
| II was the intention to have an old-fash.
ioned dinner. Mr.. Mitland and his wife,
good "folks,n pretty well advanced in
years, had been for weeks thinking of the
dinner which they were to give their neigh
bors. Pauline Mitland, a beautiful girl,
was nearing the age of eighteen, and ii
was in recognition of her birthday (Which
came on the day appointed this year for
Thanksgiving that the feast was to be
spread.
Everything must be as nice as pie,
mother" said the old man. 81 do hate to
see dinner that don't go Off all right"
"Don't you fear" replied the wife. 81
know what dinner is. Let's see, we want
the Mays and the Pollards, and the Haph-
reys-"
"And we want old Anderson Drumley,"
interrupted the old man.
"Who, that big g-footed old fellow" asked
Pauline.
"You should not speak So" said the
mother, chidingly. "Brother Drumley is
a good old man, and stands high in the
church. BE ashamed of yourself, my
daughter"
"Oh, he's so awkward, maw."
"Shet your mouth. If he don't come,
nobody shall come, now you got it,"
Old mau Mitland griuned. He had full
confidence in his wife's authority, and as
he expressed it, when she spoke, 1t was the
word with the "bark on"
The day arrived. The neighbors brought
their children. They came long before the
dinner hour, and while enga ged in delight
full gossip, ratified their knitting needles.
The savory odor of baked turkey, roast
ed pig and fried chicken pervaded the
house.
Old man Drumley was promptly on hand.
A powerful man with powerful appetite.
No one had ever heard him complain of eat
ing too much; no one ever heard him say that
he had enough. He always ate just as long
as the company would wait for him. If
digestion like his could be rented, it would
be in constant demand.
When all the chairs were brought into
the dining-room where the long extended
table was spread IL was found that still
one was lacking. This necessitated the use
| of the kitchen chair.
It is an unlucl1y fatality that enforces
such an exigency. Thereis nothing more
treacherous than the kitchen chair Of an
old d-fashioned family. Its hind legs are
worn down until the person who SITS on it
must exercise the incest precision to keep
| from fitting over backward. Israel Put
nam once said that he would rather at
tempt 20 ride goat than n kitchen chair.
This chair was thoughtlessly placed at the
plate designed FOR old Brother Drumley.
The old fellow took his seat in safety, and
complacently eyed boiled ham.
"Brother Drumley," said Mr.. Mitland,
"asls a blessing" -n W 1000 -f
Drumley bowed over dish Of turnip
greens and asked the Lord to make them
all thankful for His many blessings. The
children began to howl for bread, but tho
good old brother, thinking that some re-
turn was due the host, continued his petit
tion into personalities, asking a special
blessing for the charming young lady, Miss
Pauline. ...
When he straightened up, he leaned
back. Over he went. His feet struck the
under side OF the table, and not knowing
the cause of his sudden back set, he seized
the table in his fall. Then the whole thing
came over on mass of bowling children
and angry women.
81 never seed the like,r said an old lady,
In attempting to describe the catastrophe.
"Thar was lot Of us on the floor, all Xiv
cred with pine boards and viddults. man
aged to lookup, and there was Sallie
Parker with dish OF gravy on her head.
Angeline Ray had her lap full Of cabbage,
an all the other folks whut sot on one, side
of the table was tangled up in greens and
stews OF all kinds. Old Brother Dtumley
swore like a deck hand, the pore old
creatur', but he couldn't helpit Law me,
all the women folks got mad and
the men folks cussed till you never
heard the like. l did feel sorry for
Brother Eph Moore. The coffee pot
lit on him some whar and the lid
come Oft. never seed sich scramblin' in
my life. He managed TO get out somehow,
and the Lori how he did make break for
the woods. twas mighty unfortunate
affair, fur everything 1t were sot or SO
nice at fust an Sister Mitland she we so
proud, but law massy, whut muss was
made. Old Brother Drumley tramped on
the ham when he got up an swore an be
dinged II he didn't go vhar he could sit
down in peace. Nobody staid to dinner
bless you. There was too much madness
for any appetite to be left, fur the gals hat
come dressed in their best. How sorry
did feel for pore Sister AIitland. The pore
creatur' cried till we wus all gone. Every
time anybody tried to smooth 1t over, tn,
wuS Aey made it. l never seed the lik,
before and hope TO never sec 1t agin
Pore Sieter Mitland."
A Balloon Marriage.