The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-11-22
Some Observations.
"This is the editor, Is it?"

''This is the editor, Is it?''
Eyes, sir, ii is"
"Well, now, Mr.. Editor, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do. I'm introdu-
cling the Morning Star brand of coffee
among your merchants here, and if
yon II give me your address, I'll send
two pounds of the Morning Stat'
to your house. l want your wife to
serve you with cup of it, and after
you've tr ed it, you may just say what
you please about it in your paper"
The editor, of course, beams with
happiness. The prospective donation
of two pounds of choice coffeeis enough
to make any editor happy. Unfortu-
nately, however, his family is away for
the season, and he replies:
eff you had just as soon, suppose
you send that coffee up to the business
managers house. Here he comes, I'll
introduce you," and having done so.
the observer settled down to hard
work. He would have introduced the
philanthropist to the business manager
anyhow. 1t is a rule in the Mail Office
that all philanthropists shall be intro
duced to the business manager.
The representative of the Morning
Star coffee tells his story very grace
fully to the business manager. "Im
going to send two pounds of our superb
coffee up to your house."
The business manager has met phi
lanthropists before.
1.-Two pounds of Coffee he replies;
chow much is the coffee pound?"
"Thirty-five cents"
"All right; my house is number ?, 232
Blank street. Send up your coffee.
Here seventy cents"
lanthropist; I'm going to give you the
"But l don't want you to gipe me the
coffee. I'm able to pay for it."
''Yes, yes, | know that; but you know
l expect you to reciprocate by saying
what you think about the Morning
Star in your paper"
Then you want me to give you some
thing, do you?'
80. no; simply expect you to say
whatever you think the coffee deserves y
"We usually trade on cash basis, y
the business manager responds, ''but
let's see, two pounds of coffee will be
worth seventy cents; three lines of local
| seventy-hVe cents; you owe bal
ance Of five cents; it will be very hard
work to get very much of notice into
three lines, but we'll close the deal il
you say SO"
The phiianthropist, for some reason,
couldn't dispute the newspaper finan-
cier's business logic, but still he could
hardly comprehend why his generosity
was looked upon in such coldly prac
tical manner rs the business man ap
piled to it. He succumbed, however,
and concluded that he wouldn't send
the coffee at all, but would make con
tract for advertising in cash.
The philanthropic scheme of the
coffee man, analyzed in a business
manner, was every whit as business
like as it would be on the part of q
newspaper man to step into mercan
tile establishment and say to the pro
plietor: "Here, [ am going to senC
you my paper for three months; afte1
you have read it you may give me jus
as many dollars worth of dry goods il
return as you think us deserving Of"
Peculiar ideas are entertained re-
gardng the newspaper business. Nor,
ridiculous propositions are made t.
newspaper publishers than to any othe
class of business men existing Not
long ago Texas man wrote the Mai
letter saying that he would appreciat
the publication of the enclosed iten
of general interest,"" and that if th,
publisher would send him marke,
copy of the paper and advertising rates
! would be pleased to send them casI
advertising when he needed it. The
''item of general interest was a
advertisement. The publishers re
piled that if he would kindly SEN
! them fifteen dollars in cash as gift an
the rates on any money he might hav
to loan, they would be pleased to borro,
; of him whenever the occasion arose
, And why should such absurd propo
sitions be made? Simply because tn
newspaper profession has educated
good proportion of the public into tn
idea that donation to an editor of
fifteen cent. box of strawberries, or
J peck of fresh vegetables, is as accept
, able as a thousand dollar gold piec
would be to an ordinary man. Th
, coffee man above referred to, after th
) conversation had concluded, laughingl
and frankly added: That's all righ
-it's business but we catch lots c
'em!"-Des Moines Sunday Mail.
"A new danger threatens society
and it comes in the shape of the bicy
, Gle. The bicycle is almost noiseless o
a good road, and young men drivin
their sweethearts would do we'll to kee
3 sharp eye in the rear, as some yer
funny things have been witnessed b
wheelmen riding behind buggies.
heard how one wheelman rode benin
buggy for some distance. quite III
decided as to whether the pretty gi
: in the buggy, all dressed in white, ha
black sash on or not. He trie tt
S experiment of riding close up aud blow
o ing his whistle. and the black grid
disappeared as if by magic. She W,
wearing coat sleeve with an arm in
; Letter in ST. Louis Spectator.
An Ohio oarsman has been a
raEto1 for m a l-ipr aoupt-.rfo;t