The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1884-04-03
A 8LAsHER.

perfect soap mine n richness, in FACT
it takes the cake from ANYTHING that
has happened in this city in six
months. Austin has one society
young man who is COM
plete masher. He can mash anything
he sets out to mash from a dimpied
golden-haired fiirt of twenty IL A.
staid, old wrinkled maid of forty. Hs
parts his hair in the mindle, OF SO near
the middle that no one but cross
eyed man with the blind-stag
could tell the difference. He is
exactly a dude-not a full-blood,
dude-but might properly be said 10
be dudie. He is very wise, and it is
Said one young man in Austin thiuks
him the smartest fellow in the state
of Texas. The young man NAV
possibly be mistaken, but we thinls
not. Well, to come to the point, some
! of the young men of Austin put up an
April fool joke ON the smart yonng
man that makes him smarter than
ever. The boys had been preparii z
the thing for some time About two
months ago there came to this city
beautiful young lady of perhaps TWEEN
ty, blonde with plump roppd iigur
laughing eyes, clear fair com pleXion, q.
perfect blonde and
PERFECT BEAUTY,
who took our masher by storm. Where
the paragon came from and who she
was matters not, but enough TO say
she was in the plot and it is suspected
several of the young men of AGstia
could tell something about her An
introduction was arranged between
the handsome blonde aud our masher,
and he was quite devoted to her
during her visit in this city,
which, however was very brief.
She left Austin and the beart
of our hero was troubled over
her departure. In short time he re-
ceived a letter from her mailed at
Fort Worth, one of the sweetest, dain-
tieSt, darlingest letters a masher ever
received from his latest conquest. IL
was too good to keep, and he showed
it to few of the boys with some
very complimentary remarks abonC
the powers of certain young man
with the ladies. The boys knew tull
as much about the letter as he did.
1t would be superfiuous TO say
HE ANSWERED. 1T
and it is likewise wholly Unnecessary
to add that strawberri,s and cream,
tatfy candy, or maple syrup could not
compare in sweetness 10 that reply.
Why it was so full of sweetness that
the postal official squeezed SOME OF it
out when he Cancelled the stamp aud
stamped the post mark. This cores
pondence went on until the evening of
the first day of April, 1884. A col
ored boy brought him a note in
tina dear familiar handwriting
requesting the Austin masher to meet
his adorable at the house of her friend
the same friend with whom she had
stayed when in the city before. The
hour was named as eight o'clock
when he should call. Do you think he
thought of April fool jokes under
those circumstances? Danish the
desecrating thought. No he fixed him
self up in his
MOST WASHABLE STYLE
and when the hour arrived
he went to the house where his para
gon was. The house is situated in the
suburbs of Austin, and by the time he
reached the place it was quite dark.
She had suggested that he come with
a hack SO they could take drive, and
you bet he came with ha ok. As he
drove up to the gate she did not wait
for him to come in, but she came out
anu u1CU nllA dU OhO htCs AhO
then told him they had been
invited to a little gathering at
Mr- and 1t was time they were
going. He politely helped her into
the cab, and the driver was instructed
where to go. The driver declares he
heard something very much like kiss
ing in the cab, but drivers cannot Des
trusted on such matters. The blonde
herself acknowledges the masher was
extraordinarily loving on the orcaston
and that she did not discourage him
SO much as she ought to have done.
Whenever she went out
SHE WORE VEIL.
and the fact that she had one on that
night in the cab caused no suspicion.
They reached the house of Mr.. : -'.-,
and he escorted the darling to brill
liant First OF April party. Here she
removed her veil, requesting the dtldie
to unite it for her, which, of &C arse,
he did. He didn't faint, but he looked
terribly sick. His blonde head turned
as black as a plantation negress. There
were the hair and eyes, but
the face / He wanted to kill
somebody, but he didn't know
who to kill. He couldn't kill the
blonde for she had darted out Of the
room. He would liked to have killed
bevy of girls, who said: "lli l!ul
made another mash?" But it wc i ut
do to kill girls. The secret of it Ill Is,
that a young man had personatsd the
blonde, and by means of false hair and
cosmetics with his woman fgu. had
completely fooled the smartest young
man in Austin. He hail
changed his face to black by
little burnt cork. The
correspondence at Fort Wor n was
carried on through friend at that
place. The full extent Of the April
fool he will not understand uutil he
reads THE STATESMAN this morning.
We suppress names, because TIE
STATESMAN representative could not
get possession of the facts without
first pledging his honor 10 to do. The
joke, is rich enough without them
however.