davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1884-11-26
QUITE SMOOTH.
My thoughts on awful subjects dwell
Damnation and the dead
n

My thoughts on awful subjects dwell
Damnation and the dead
-BWBdio Courier.
The real fun will begin when the mug
wumps begin to hold the tail of the Dem
ocratic tiger. Indianapolis Sentinel
If Ben Butler had been loaded into a
cannon and fired u Ia sea he couldn't
have passed out Of sieii quicker. De
faoif Free Press.
judging rom the rate al which crema-
TORIES art multiplying there will be a ere
nation candidate Tor President in 1888.
Piations: Burn this. PHILADELPHIA
TIME
From the tone of the Republican journ-
ais OF the country the atmosphere Of the
various ne, paper Offices seems to be con
sonant with the feeling expressed in that
joyial old him
Keep your eyes open a bit for those
chaps who are talking about the country
being ruined. They are hard-up chaps
who want an excuse to fail in business
Detroit Free Press.
, 1884-11-26
H1s rRAYER

boston Tranacriptl
Col keep you safe, my little love,
All through the night
Rost close in HIS ennircling arms
Until the light
My heart Is with you as l kneel TO pray;
Goodnight; God keep you in His care Away.
Thick shadows creep like silent ghosts
About my head;
l loss myself in tender dreams;
While overhead
The moon comes stealing through the window
bars,
A silver sickle cleaning mid the starr
For !, though l am far away,
Feel safe and strong
To trust you thus, dear love-and yeti
The night Is long;
I say with sobLing breath the old fond
prayer.
Goodnight Sweet dreamsi God keep you
everywhere.
, 1884-11-26

The following obituary notice appeared
in a Colorado paper last week:
"SMITH-Busted a trace in this city,
Friday just after dinner, Mary Smith,
wife of the undersigned and daughter Of
old Sam Pratt, the leading Blacksmith OF
Denver, Colo. The corpse was highly
respected by the hightondest families, but
death got the drop on her and she took
up the bucket with perfect confidence that
she would have a square show the other
side of the divide. The plant transpires
this afternoon at her boarding house, on
Willow street. Come one. come all.
Dearest Mary thou hast left US.
For you on earth there wasn't room
But It's heaven that has bereft US
And s~naiched our darling up the Hume.
Denver papers please copy and send
bill or draft at sight;
by her late husband,
'P. SMITH"
, 1884-11-26

QUEEN VICTORIA is 65, King Christian
Of Denmark is &C, and his wife, the
Queen, is a year older; the Emperor Of
Austria is54, and his wife is 46, while
King Leopold Of Belgium, 40. years old,
has a wife aged 80. The Sultan Of Tur-
key is ~. King Oscar Of Sweden So,
Louis Of Portugal 46, Humbert of Italy
40 and President Grevy Of France ~.
The wife Of the Russian ruler is three
years younger than her husband. the wife
Of the German five and the Queen of Italy
anvep
, 1884-11-26

Star Of the West restaurant, the only
first-class restaurant in the city. Fresh
oysters IN every style. meals at all hours.
Table supplied with everything that the
market affords. Board by the month,
week or day. Twenty n meals for S.. 80.
We claim that We get up as good meals
rs any frst-class house in the Territory
Tor the money. Suppers prepared TO or
der for clubs or parties in frst-class style.
Also fine furnished rooms for the accom-
mediation offravelers.
, 1884-11-26

They were discussing their natAtorial ca
pacity.
-Swimi Divei Why, l can remain under
water twenty minutes at a time"
"Only twenty minutes. Why, the other
day ! staid under water 4 whole hour. To
be sure, 1t was because ! fell into a doze and
oversight myself, but still (Ths other
liar faints)
, 1884-11-26

Texas SiftinRAl

"Father, that young reporter you kicked
out OF the house last week wants me to share
his lot said n New York girl, to her father,
who was a man OF sense and some means.
"Nonsense, y replied the iat-headed parent:
you tell that reporter TO scoot, and you b
polite to that gentleman who comes around
to buy bottles and old clothes. He makes
more money in one day than three reporters
do In n week.
II know 1t, pa; but why arc you so mer-
cennry.H
, 1884-11-26

My gratitude TO God Is u%nbounded for the re-
lief l have obtained from the use of the CUTI-
CuRA | have been troubled with
Eczema on my legs for twenty years. 1 had not
q comfortable night for years, the burning and
Itching were so Intense. Now. 1 am happy to
say. l have no trouble. Only the liver-colored
patches on my limbs remain asa token OF my
misery. HENRY l.. SMITH,
1ss WEST AVENUE. ROCHESTER. N. Y.
, 1884-11-26
old Sayings from n Now standpoint.
Boston Transcript

"A rolling stone gathers no moss"
Time out of mind, a rolling stone has been
censurod for gathering no moss. But what
OF thatf Is 1t not to its credit rather thar to
its dispraisei II IL had lain idle all its life, 1t
no doubt might nave accumulated no end Of
moss. But It's busy existence prev entod its
acquiring any such useless environment
True, the rolling stone gathers no moss, but
it gathers something better, TO wit, polish.
Isn't polish to be preferred to cumbersome
and useless mossf Avast theroi
aout Of the frying-pan into the fire"
1t is conventional to condemn the man who
Jumps out Of the frying-pan into the fire.
But, gent. reader, were you in the midst OF
the fervent fat Of a frying pan, would you
not rather jump into the fire itself and have
your anguish ended speedily and at once
that TO suffer the slow agony Of being fried
like a vulgar doughnutl OF course you would.
Then never again speak n word against the
Judgment Of this unknown martyr to su
pediency.
Facts are stubborn things."
This may be true on general grounds, but
we fancy that facts bearing ON a political
campaign are as plant and yielding az
boarding-house butter. We trust, there
fore. that this severe characterization Of
facts in the abstract will give place to a
more generous appreciation 1t Is no nearer
the truth TO say that all facts are stubborn
things than to affirm that all stubborn things
are sncts.
"Faint heart ne'er won fair lady"
This is a libel on the faint heart. The
modest, difhdsnt, bashful mAn-that Is TO
say, the faint hearts, always first to be
won by the fair sex, which is the true way
Of saying TINT he is the first to win tho fair
uo-. FOR bn a. lrnu-. tk.t a. g.. 81. -.~-.-
and not the man who wins In the game OF
hearts. The man thinks he does, but he
doesn't 1t Is true that the winnings are
oftentimes hardly worth the taking; but be
they good. bad or Indifferent, the woman Is
the arbiter OF mans matrimonial destiny
every time; and the fainter the heart she
A~ssails, the easier her victory.
, 1884-11-26
morn imam neIirht.n-

Daughter-what did the doctor say ais
met
Mother-He thinks you AVE a touch of
hay fever.
D~aughtsr-oh, Isn't that delightfully."- fash
Ionablel We must let those horrid Jones
girls know OF Il right away"
, 1884-11-26
A New Danger.

lCor. St Louis SPECTATOR
A new danger threatens society and II
comes in the shape OF the bicycle. The
bicycle is almost noiseless on a good road
and young men driving their sweetheart,
would do well to keep a sharp eye to the rear,
as some very funny things ave been wit
messed by wheelmen riding behind buggies.
hoard how one wheelman rode behind a buggy
for some distance, quite undecided as Il
whether the pretty girl In the buggy. oil
dressed in white, had n black sash on or not
He tried the experiment OF riding close uT
and blowing his whistle, and the black grid,
disappeared as II by magic. She was wear
ing a coat-sleeve with an arm in it
, 1884-11-26
ECZFWA an a CHIID.

Your most valuable CurIcURA REMEDIES
have done my child so much good that i feel
like saying this for the benefit OF those who
are troubled with skin disease. My little girl
was troubled with Eczema, and l tried several
doctors and medicines, but did not do her any
good until | used the CUrIcURA REMEDIES,
which speedily cured her. for which ! you
many thanks and many nights OF rest.
ANTON BOSSlMIER, Unfon BdkerV,
EDINBUROH. I'm.
, 1884-11-26

For the return Of two bay horses with
black points, one with white star on fore
head, branded ALB, stolen from the ranch
of n. r. Davis. 500 reward for return
Of horses and conviction ofthiefor thieves.
Direct information to n. r. Davis, Chey-
enne. PETERS & ASTON.
, 1884-11-26

ONE of the most remarkable telegraph
ic feats On record was the recent delivery
of a message from Melbourne, Australia,
TO London in twenty-three minutes 1t
went by land and sea over Is, 30s miles Of
, 1884-11-26

Meet at Odd Fellows Hall at 1880 p.
m, first and third Wednesdays and
second and fourth Sundays at 2 p. m.
II. 4. GOODWIN, NJ. ".
JOSEPH GRANGER, r. S.
, 1884-11-26

2,279, Prizes amounting o..................S522 500
Application for rates to clubs should
be made only TO the ONCE OF the ompan in
New Orleans.
For further Information write clearly,
giving full address.
Postal notes express money orders, or New
York exchange in ordinary letter. Currency
by express TALL sums Of s. and upwards
at our expense) addressed
~. A. DAUPHIN. New Orleans, La,
or M; A. DAUPHIN, COZ Seventh st. Washing
ton. DO
Make 70. Money Orders payable and ad-
dress Registered Letters 10
NEW ORLEANS NATIONAL BANK,
New Orleans, La.
, 1884-11-26
Itching Diseases!

ECZEMA, or Salt Rheum, with Its antagoniz-
u ing itching and burning, instantly relieved
by a warm bath with CuTIcURA SOAP, and a
single application of C~UTICU1RA. the great kin
Cure. This repeated daily, with two or three
doses OF CUTIcuRA REsoLvEST, the New Blood
Purifier. to keep the blood cool, the perspira-
ton pure and unirrltating, the bowels open, the
liver and kidneys active. will speedily cure
Eczema. letter. Ringworm. Psoriasis, Lichen,
Pruritus, Seal Head, Dandruff and every other
species ofItching, Scaly, and Pimply HumoH of
the. Scalp and skin. when the best physicians
md all known remedies fail
, 1884-11-26

Russian koumiss IL growing In favor As a
specific for consumption The koumiss
establishments 1t Orenburg are crowded
with natientx
, 1884-11-26
TETTER OF THE sCALP.

l was almost perfectly bald, caused by letter
Of the top OF the scalp. l used your CUrIcURA
REMEDIES about six weeks, and they cured my
scalp perfectly, aud now my hair Is coming
back as thick as It ever was.
J. p. CHOICE.
, 1884-11-26

Engraving in al its branches is done at
ZEHNER, JACKSON d B~UEcHNER's.
, 1884-11-26

Suits for everybody and at a bargain at
Polack's.
, 1884-11-26

House moving and repairing promptly
done by Ferris, STs Fifteenth street.
, 1884-11-26

sOs Seventeenth street, 1903 Seventeenth
street
, 1884-11-26

/ want TO tell you that your CurIcURA RE-
oLvKN Is magnificent. About three months
ago my face was covered with blotches, and
after using three bottles OF REsoLvENr I was
perfectly cured FREDERICK MATTRE,
, 1884-11-26

For all cases OF poisoning by Ivy or dogwood.
| can warrant CUrIcURA 10 cure every dme. I
have sold IL for five years and Il never fails.
G. H. MORSE. Dru00fsf,
Holliston. Mass.
Sold everywhere. Price, CuTIcuRA, so cents
soar, Is cents R~EsoLvENr, 81.
Potter Drug and Chemical Co.. Boston.
, 1884-11-26

Every smoker should try Little
JOKER
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Hon. haolore Frelinyl,u,

Hon. Theodore Frelinghuysen
Singiser, delegate in Congress from
Idaho, has gone to the Cuur d'Alene
country. He sailor, to speak more
correctly, he is reported to have said
that he didn't need Alturas's votes
anyway, as be had "dead sure thing
without them. We are compelled to
rely upon unauthentc reports because,
although the distinguished gentleman
did us the honor to call at this office,
we were too busy to spcal, to him at
the time.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
4 GOOD TEST.

Colonel Canavan sends word to the
TINES from Bellevue that there was
test adopted by the Republican County
Central Comm ttee. 1t is as follows:
Would you vote for Blaine and
Logan, if you had the opportunity?
This test is common. sense one, and
its lih.rality will commend it to all
reasonable men. Any honorable man,
no matter how ''independent" he may
De, can take it If he feels that he is
entitled 10 vote at the Republican
primaries. 1t is merely all affirmation
or declaration of his political belief,
and does rot bind him to support the
entire ticket.
II the test is carefully applied, and
. sharp lookout is kept at the polls, no
Democrats will vote at the Republican
primaries, unless they are scrubs
whose word is ofno more weight than
sbreath of air.
The test should be published at once,
without delay, over the signature of
the chairman and secretary Of the
committee, that all Republicans may
know Of it.
The Democrats are yet to be heard
from on this subject. If they have q
test the TINES will publish the fact
once as a matter Of news if they will
supply copy Of it, properly certified.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
FOR RECORDER AND AUDITOR.

G. Is. Fox, the present incumbent
announces himself to-day as candi.
date for reelection to the office oil
Recorder and Auditor, subject tc
nomination by the Republican County
Convention.
Mr.. Fox has been in his present
position nearl " two years, and during
that time he. has SO systematized the
work Of the Recorders Office that it
is real pleasure TO go there now to
search the records. AS an official he
has been uniformly prompt, courteous,
obliging, and accurate. To all this
anyone who has had business there
will testify.
Having proved such faithful,
competent and Trustworthy official, he
deserves denomination and re election.
AS some of our readers will re-
member that, last spring, "A serious dis
agreement arose between Recorder
Fox and the editor of the TINES, it is
but Just that brief statement Of the
case be made at this time.
The difficulty arose from the. re-
peated demands Of the TINES man for
this or that record-notably the Book
of Mortgages, which contains certified
copies of such instruments. Mr.. Fox
honestly believed that the TINES man
was not entitled to examine it when
ever it suited him. The latter know
ing his rights from long experience,
peremptorily demanded to be shown
ALI. the records. Mr.. Fox, while
aver"ing himself willing to show any
one record or document called for did
not seem to think that he was COM
PEELED to exhibit them all on demand.
\ test case was made out by the TINES
asking for, and obtaining a writ of
against the County
Recorder; but before the application
had been heard, Mr.. Fox, having in
he meantime obtained legal advice,
stated his willingness to submit the
office, and everything in it, to the OK
Of the TINES man. This
was of course satisfactory.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16

the terms were strict: $50 per course,
positively in advance. From dancing.
master TO Minister of Foreign Affairs
is quite jump, and it will be inter
esting to learn if Dan has been spoiled
into becoming a polished noodle, or
whether he still remains the learner
take.a walloping kind OF fellow we
used to know.
II the latter proves to be the ease,
we may look for startling complca-
tons in the foreign relations of Ills
Majesty Kalakaua, King of the Sand
witch Islands.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
DO YOU KNOW OF ANY FRAUDS
Ii You DO, Call at the HALEY Land
Office and Report Them.

Capt George Story, special land
and timber agent of the United States
Land Office for this district, arrived
last night. The Captain will spend
several days in this city and vicinity,
looking into the matter of timber dep
relations and fraudulent land entries.
This completed he will go elsewhere
ir the Territory, and before hi.; labors
are done every case will be thoroughly
Overhauled where there is reasonable
ground to suppose that transactions
with the Government Land Depart
ment have not been in compliance
with the laws. However. AS has ever
been the case, the Department is dis
posed to be lenient toward actual set
tiers, and in some cases, where the in
tenton is good and the purposes of
the settler honorable, even though
there has not been strict compliance
with the laws, the exact letter will not
be enforced. That much of our best
lands are held by few for purposes
of speculation there is no doubt. and
Capt. Story has struck a fine field of
labor.
The appointment Of special agents
by the Government to investigate
these frauds has been blessing to
every agricultural section of the coun-
try, and had it been done years ago,
this valley at least would now have
been we'll settled and the fertile lands
yielding revenue to Industrious farm
ers; whereas, it is now owned in large
tracts, secured under the deser. act,
and poor emigfants are compelled to
pay exorbitant prices for small farms
or push on to other lands. Every per-
son who is aware of the existence of
fraud should report the same to the
agent and have the matter inyesti-
gated.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Change Of Position.

a girl on horseback, with her feet
on the unusual side Of the beast, is
described by correspondent Of the
Omaha Herald. Her saddle was in
reversal Of established usage, because
she is an inveteratc horsewoman and
she is convinced that by spending
hours every day in "A crampe! position
with her feet always thrown distort-
eddy to the same side, she was getting
SO that she felt ''lopsided," and il took
the rest of a day after long ride for
the sensation to wear off that she was
"wound up and set, like toy locomo
tive, to run round in circle"
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
FROM DANClNG.MASTEk TO MINIS.
TER OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS.

The Sandwich Island papers state
that Hon. Dan Lyons has been APP
pointed Minister of Foreign Affairs.
Dan Lyons was formerly bookkeeper
on the Virginia (Nev.) Chronicle, and
when Rollin NJ. Daggett, editor OF the
Enterprise. of that city. was appointed
United States Plenipotentiary to the
Sandwich Islands, Dan followed him
to Honolulu aud took charge Of the
leading paper as manager. His pa
per having found fault with the gov.
eminent for conniving at or permitting
the "shanghaiing" aud enslavement of
hundreds of,housands Of poor foreign.
ers to work OH the sugar plantations,
Dan was thrown into a dungeon,
whence, however, he was released
within n hours, Mr.. Daygett threat
ening to lombard Honolulu unless
this was done. On his release Dan
fastened to San Francisco, where he
bought printing outfit with which
he returned to Honolulu on the next
steamer, intending TO rake King Kala-
kaua and his government "fore-and-
AFT" But he changed his views, ap-
psrently, as his paper has always been
mild AS a sucking dove. And now
he is given the second position in the
realm!
This is only another ilust alton Of
the power Of the prc.s--espccially
when backed by the greatest nation
on the globe. But We are anxious to
eco what kind Of Foreign Minister
Dan will make. About eight years
ago he was = dancing master on the
Constock, and his main idea OF teach
ing was quite simple: lie always car
ried black. thorn shillellah-a genu-
inc stick-fn,m the hogs near Sligo
(which he pronounced "S-h-h-lygoa'),
and when any duffer proved clumsy
or inattentive, he would belahor his
heels and sitting.down-place with his
blackthorn until he learned the step.
One lesson usually sufiiced to make a
practiced dancer. At least, that is
the superstition, as no pupil ever At
tended school second time, although
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
A Card.

To all who are suffering from error.
and indiscretions OF youth, nervou.
weakness, early decay, loss of man.
hood, &C.: will send a receipt tina,
will cure you FREE OF CHARGE.
This great remedy was discovered by
a missionary in South America. Send
self-ad dressed envelop to Rev. 10.
sEPH I. Imam, Station D, New
York. a23yldw
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16

At the general election in Utah,
last Monday, for county officers, the
Mormons made a clean sweep. At
Ogden over 1000 votes were polled, Of
which the Liberal or Gentle candidates
received only l57.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16

This new place is now prepared to
accommodate customers with the best
beer on the river, and other refresh
ments Of all kinds. Remember the
place: W.st side Main street, ii few
doors below the bank.
+. b. WIN, Manager.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
For District Attorney.

respectfully announce myself q candidate
the Once of District Attorney subject to the ~
sion Of the Republican County Convention.
J. H. HARRIS.
HALEY, Idaho, August 3, 1884.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
l.. Mcrthhpin,cr

Has moved his fine stock Of clothing
and gents furnishing goods to Bullion
block, corner of Main and Bullion
streets.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
WOOD RIVERS RECORD.

In 1873. ..........W Wild Indians.
In 1880. Settled by the Whites.
In l881-Yield Of the Mines 81 1850, 900
In lS82-rieid Of the Mines So, 10000
In lSS3--Yield Of the Mines-$3, 900, 900
y,,12 Yield Of the Mines q, mn nm
~ IOcf-.. lestimstedl.. -F0, VOO,OOO
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
For Sheriff

As many Of my friends insist that must b. N.
next sheriff Of this county. hereby annoupc.
myself as a candidate before the Democrat.
County Convention. If nominated, III get thcr.
at the election without fail. DON MCKAY
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Assessor and Tax Collector

desire to state that am q candidate. sub;s.
TO nomination by the Republican County Couys,.
ton. for Assessor aud Tax Collector. If nominate.
and elected. will discharge the duties OF ~.
Office to the best Of my ability.
JOS, e. NORRUr
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
NEW TODAY,
For Recorder and Auditor.

hereby announce myself candidate for re-
nomination for Auditor and Recorder Of Aturss
County subject to the decision Of the Republican
County Convention. c. b. Fox
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Coed Fir Wood for "a Per Cord,

G0Ou FIT WOOd Tor 4 Fer Cord,
Delivered.
l am selling goou fir wood, in stove
lengths, for 81 per cord, delivered in
any part of town.
Leave orders with Haley Transfer
Company, or transmit them by telc-
phone. F. II. Rowe,
Haley Sawmils.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Watches, JeWelrY, Etc.

Jewclry, clocks, silvcrware at low.
est prices. - Fine watch rcpai.
&.Ao JouN ARNOLD,
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Political Announcements.
lizards under this head SO each. in .dv.r
For Sheriff.

I hereby announce myself 10 . candidas. r.,
nomination for Sheriff Of Alturss County. ,uh,...
to the action Of the Republican County CON-.
ton. G, H. ErRrv
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
I. ". GARRETT
Assessor and Tax Collector

/ hereby respectfully announce myself an i. 90,
didate for the office OF Assessor and Tax Co,,...
of Alturas County, subject to nomination by III,
Republican County Convention.
ALEX. McEIBBlv
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Fount ain Saloon and Beer Hall.

Adjoining Whites Furniture Store
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-08-16
Fer County Assessor and ca,
lectOr,

hereby respectfully announce myself e,,.,
date for Assessor and Tax Collector of Atm.
County, subject to nomination BY the Repub,ie..
County Convention.