davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-04-26

DIR. Casper recommends Kendalls
SPAWN Cure in the highest terms, and
thousands of eminent physicians do
the same. See advt.
The Wilmingtonian. (Wilmington, Del.) 1882-188?, 1884-05-24


them boil for from five g ten minutes; then
add sweet milk, rolled cracker, pepper and
salt to suit your taste. This is good dish
for supper OF for luncheon.
SOME mothers do not know what to do
with the baby on the nurses "evening out"
Various plans of disposing of him have been
suggested to us. One way is to put the kit
ten to bed with him, and then go TO the the
atre. This, however, has been objected to
by Mr.. Bergh, as being cruel to the kitten.
Another method is to let its papa walk up
and down the nursery while he sings him to
sleep in his arm; this, however, is bad for the
baby's morals, as he is apt to pick up any
strange and curious interjections from his
father. The most popular method is to leave
him alone up stairs with the door shut, while
you drown any possible noise by playing
Baby Nine on the piano in the parlor.
LAST IN BED BLOWS OUT THE HT.-Old
Uncle Ploughbit and his wife were holding
asort of love feast the other night, recount
ing old times. As the worthy couple pre-
pared to retire they went over the days gone
by in a highly entertaining manner. "Do
you know 'Riah, l feel just as young as
ever didP' said uncle Ploughbit, exuberantly.
80 do 1, Enoch," spryly responded Aunt
Riah. Then thought suddenly occurred to
Uncle Ploughbit, and wheeling on his heel
be cried out: "Last in bed blows out the
lightY' and made plunge for his side Of the
couch. His wife, though taken by surprise,
was nothing behind him in sprightlness, and
their aged heads met about the middle OF
the bed with startling thump Aunt 'Riah
doubled up on the floor, and old Uncle
Ploughbit, rubbing the top of his head NUT
tered: "What two burned old fools we be
anyhow"
THERE was a dispute among three ladie
as to which had the most beautiful hand
One sat by stream and dipped her han'
into the water and held it up, anothe
plucked Strawberries until the ends of he
fingers were pink, and another gathered vic
lets until her hands were fragrant. An oil
haggared woman, passing by asked:
''Who will give me gift, for am poor?
All three denied her; but another who sa
near, unwashed in the stream, unstained witt
fruit, unadorned with flowers, gave her
little gift and satisfied the poor woman. An
then she asked them what was the dispute
and they told her, and lifted up before he
their beautiful hands.
beautiful, indeedw said she, when sh
saw them. But when they asked her whic
was the most beautiful, she said:
at is not the hand that is washed clea
in the brook, it is not the hand that is dill
ped in red, lis notthe hand that is garlande
with fragrant flowers but the hand tha
gives to the poor is the most beautiful"
AS she said these words her wrinkles flee
her stall was thrown away and she stoo
before them an angel from heaven, wit
authority to settle the question in DISPUTE
And that decision has stood the test OF a
time.-Ffeemasoa RepoSIt0Ty'
The Wilmingtonian. (Wilmington, Del.) 1882-188?, 1884-05-24
THE LATEST DISCOVERY.

One hundred years ago moth
ing was known of the great dis
coveries, and inventions that now
astonish the world.
Theflrst President Of the United
States never saw steamboat.
The Second President never
saw a railroad. Andrew Jackson
who died in the year IS45 never
saw telegraph wire. Abraham
Lincoln died in the year 1865 and
never dreamed Of such a thing as
the telephone.
Only recently has the world
been surprised by hearing of the
most wonderful discovery of the
age. The EUREKA ROACH
EXTERMINATOR. 1t never
fails to do its work. tits perfect
ly harmless and the only safe pre-
paration when you have children
Ask your druggist for it, and
tell him you want no other.
45s4tf
The Wilmingtonian. (Wilmington, Del.) 1882-188?, 1884-05-24
HUMOROUS.
IL a coat ov menny colms.

Affectashun IL q coat ov menny colms.
Our pashuns are the best possible SER
waits we kan have, and the worst possible
masters.
Yu kin listen ilippant talker into
silence in half the time yu kan subdue him
emmy other way.
Luv may be nothing more than desire, or
selEluv in disguise, while aiIeckshun enlists
all the tender and holy mstinkts ov the
heart.
Sorrows soothe the soul, while they sub
due the pashuns. Without them joy would
bekum monotonous, and frriition would be
insipid plezzure.
massachusetts friends Of General Butler
still make pretense of believing there is
powerful underground boom for him." If
General Butler ever does get boom it will
probably come from the underground region.
To empty theatre in case of fire the drop
should be lowered All the men will rush
out by force of habit and the women will sit
STILL as usual in such cases, and panic will
be prevented. This suggestion is freely
offered for what it is worth.
1t is not the want ov opportunity, so much
az the neglekt TO go for them when they
offer, that IL the source ov so menny fail
mes amung mankind.
When mans Conscience rebukes him,
the praze ov the world IL most hollow
mockery.
The conversation about bishops and one
fervent dame said: GLOW good tie dear
bishop of Peter borough is What good
mani Instantly gentleman replied: "There
is no merit in that. Bishops ought to he so.
They get five thousand year for being
good, while we are expected to be good for
nothing and most of us are"
THE PRICE MUST GO UP.
Isaac, he said, as he entered the store
with the evening paper in hand, wool has
gone oop two cents per pound
Yes, ladder
Mari, everything on dot counter oop
twenty per cent
But all dose goods yhas cotton, fad
der
Dey vhas? Vhell dot make now def
frence. see dot two buttun mills ha
failed, und der price of buttons must go oop
Isaac you vhas never rich man until you
keep Your eyes oudt pehind you.'
HE HADN'T GOT HIS BRAINS YET
Something very unpleasant occurred tc
Thaddeus Pickeby, dude, at fashionable
New York restaurant, and he will go there
no more. The large room was crowded will
people, most of whom knew Thad so he sale
in loud, imperious voice:
''Waitaw ordered some brains Will,
ago, but PSe not got them yet. see YOU
have fried oysters, Bring me a dozen whel
you fetch the brains.p
ga dozen fried oysters for the man wht
. hasn't got any brains vet, bawled out tn,
The Wilmingtonian. (Wilmington, Del.) 1882-188?, 1884-05-24

SSSNSSS
SIS - SIS
$}9-9{$.
'$s(-)sS'
This maiden was born all forlorn,
She knows Just when her neighbors were
born,
Just what they cat, drink and wear,
And just how many times they comb their
hair.
Her face is broad, her hair is thick,
Her tongue keeps up clackety click;
She ATTENDS to every business but her
own,
Is a nuisance abroad and a pest at home
THAT was sharp girl, who, when asked
by her teacher why the noun "bachelor'was
singular, answered, Because it is singular
that they don't get married"
WHEN you see a woman with big bump
on the top of each shoulder, don't imagine
that she is deformed or has a ridge of bun
ions there. That is merely a new style the
dressmakers have introduced.
SOFT GINGER cAKEs.-One cup of sugar,
one cup of sweet millShalf a cup Of butter,
one egg, two teaspoonful of baking powder;
ginger and raisins to suit the taste. Stir in
flour enough to make soft batter, not as
thick as ordinary cake Bake slowly.
EXCELLENT CocoANuT JuMBLEs are made
of two cups of sugar, one cup of butter, two
eggs, one large cup of grated cocoanut. Use
-four enough to make dough that can be
rolled. Cut in fancy shapes, and bake in a
quick oven.
NEW YORK farmers state that oil of sas-
safras Is the best substance to nse for kill
ing all kinds of insects. He says it is sup
erior to anything he has tried for killing lice
on animals or fowls. 1t is also sure death
to bedbugs and feas.
MUFFINs without soda, if baked in hot
oven, will be light and excellent Take on,
cup of sweet milk, one cup of flour, one egg
well beaten, about third of teaspoonful o
salt. Have your gem-pans very hot, fiji
about half full and bake. These are nice will
butter alone, or with maple-sugar syrul
added.
ScALLoPPED PoTAToEs.-Slic cold boileC
potatoes very thin, rather more than half fiji
baking-dsh with them, sprinkle them witt
pepper and salt, and put three ounces of but
ter IN small pieces among them, pour half
pint of milk over them, fill up the dish wit
bread crumbs, with one ounce of butter,a lii
tie more milk and seasoning, bake unit
thoroughly heated and brown.
Few people appreciate the many excel
encies of CLAIMS simply because there al
few cooks who know how to cook ther
properly. Nourishing and good clam ste1
is made this way: Just after washing th6r
let the clans steam until the shells oper
take them out of the shells, strain the juice
put it in kettle with little water, cho
the clans fine, put them in kettle and Ii
The Wilmingtonian. (Wilmington, Del.) 1882-188?, 1884-05-24
AMERICAN NEWSPAPERS IN 1884.

Frorl the edition of Messrs Geo. P. Rowell 4 Cos
Anne ican Newspaper Directory,now in press it APP
pears that the newspapers and periodicals of all
KINDS at present issued In the United States and
Canada reach grand total Of l3i02. This net
gain of precisely 900 DUNG the last twelve months
and exhibits an increase of 5BlS over the total
crease in 1874 over the toal for 1873 was 493 Dur
inc the past year the daiies have increased from
li3S to 1924; the weeklie from 9,062 to loops; and
the muuthlies from l,O9l . 49, The greatest in
crease is in the WesterI States Illinois, for in
The Wilmingtonian. (Wilmington, Del.) 1882-188?, 1884-05-24

waiter in voice that could be heard on the
opposite side of Broadway.
CONSIDERATION OF A MOTHER.
A dwelling house took fire in one of the
chambers the other night from an exploded
oil lamp. The flames were extinguished
after short struggle by tue woman of the
house, who had her hands pretty badly
burned. She was relating her adventures to
neighbor next morning, and the woman
asked:
"Why didn't you raise an alarm-where
was Bessie?"
"Bessie and her beau were counting in
the parlor," was the calm reply.
"And you never called ON them?'
''Not word. 1 have known cases where
a sudden alarm has upset young man just
as he was about to propose and changed the
whole future of two lives. - Chicago Sun.
A 'PossUM STORY.
'Uucle Nose, why does your boy not 60
to work. He seems to be idIing away his
time"
ooh no, Marster Gawge he amt no idle
boy, Pete amt. He's gittn' larnin' pow fuI
fast mp at de cademy. I'm maxim schol
ard OBJ HIM Yo' Pete, come here an show
de ge'man how yo' kin spell; bring him yo
gogerfy book till lie axes yer some spellin
outen it,
The gentleman asked Pete to spell COW
mule, ostrich, horse, etc, all of which III
spelled correctly. Then closing the book hi
asked Pete to spell '"possum." Pete made
several attempts, but failed.
"Heah, yo' Pete, said Uncle Nose, ''yc
good-fur.nufiin, wufliess boy,what yo' NEAR
by spellin' de la'ge animules, SIGH as de hos'
an de mule an de ostrich, an not beii
able to spell po' little insignificant birt
like de 'possum. 70, better study pow fu
quick on de 'possum, or fust ting yo' know
yer'll be hoen' in de cotton patch.
S. r.. Q. r.
The proprietor of small store, who die
not advertise to any great extent in tn,
newspapers, had his canned-goods emporium
plastered inside and cut with the cabalisti
symbols, S. p. Q. r. He dealt in almos
: everything from fly-peppcr to quinne On
day a long -geared, melancholy mule
came into the store. His eyes immediatel
sought one of the mysterious signs.
+ "Pardner," said the melancholy man, st
. decide a bet wish you'd tell me what tina
air S. P. @. R. stands fur"
''That, my friend" said the proprieto
, glibly, islands for Small Profits and Quic
Returns. That's my motto. That's til
way sell goods, way down below bed ro3l
What did you think it VASE"
: "Wall," said the man with a long sig
of relief, Twelve both lost bet a yerlin
, steer it stood for Small Potatoes and Quac
Remedies, and Bill Gibbons bet it was Sic
Rats Quickly Restored. So it's a stand Of
: pard, an I'm much obliged to yer. I'll j
60 hum now to report to Bill
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-10-09
Playing With Edge Tools.

The man who has given Blaine the
most trouble in this campaign is that
quiet and unobtrusive but clear-headed
and honorable gentleman, James Multi
gan. A little over eight years ago he
went to Washington, summoned asJ 3
witness by an investigating committee,
carrying with him a little green bag
which contained letters from James G.
Blaine to Warren Fisher, Jr., and which
over Blaine's own signature afforded
full and complete evidence that the
writer was a corrupt man using the Sec
ond Office in point of influence in the
United States for purposes of private
gain. These letters came into Mr.. Null
ligan's hands in perfectly proper and
honorable way. His testimony as to
the way in which Blaine got them into
his own hands and kept them there is
chapter of shame with which our coun-
try is thoroughly familiar. it has made
absurd all attempts of the Blaine apol-,
ogists to whitewash the record of their
candidate. AS long as that testimony
is not impeached Blaine must stand
before the country blotched and
stained with the evidence of proved cor
ruption. Those who remember the cir
cumstances under which the testimony
OF MI. NiulliSdu was given as we'll DIS
the character of the man, have not
dared to utter word impugning his
veracity. But there are signs of rash
ness abroad. If there is any discretion
in the Republican party leaders they
win call on their hounds. Senator Hoar
in his open letter to s'his dear young
friend' intimatcd that Mr.. MulIigan was
drawing upon his Imagination when he
drew that startling picture of Mr..
Blaine's distress. A Blaine organ as
far away as Richmond, Va, attacks his
personal honor and character as the
only way to break the force of his testi-
mony. Mr. George P. Lawton, of Troy,
N. Y, has been telling the people of
Nassau that Mulligan is thief. Now
this is dangerous. Mr.. Mulligan can
prove by a thousand of as good men as
there are in Boston that he bears an en-
viable reputation as a gentleman of
truth and honesty. And when that
reputation is thus established Mr.. Null
ligan is in possession of yet unrevealed
facts in the life of Blaine which he can
give to the public. The Tribune should
send around the word not to provoke
MIR. Mulligan. He is loaded. Boston
| Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-10-09
POLITICAL ITEMS.

1t looks very much now as If
Blaine, who has described prohibition
as local issue, would be merely a local
issue himself after the 4th of next No
vember.
The New York Herald puts it
neatly. 1t says that the election re-
turns show that Blaine is about 1900
votes less popular in Name than r. b.
Hayes, the well known hen raiser of
Fremont, o.
The New York Post says very
truly of the Blaine-Phelps letter:
.sThose, whether politicians or not,
who encourage the activity of creatures
like Rev. Dr.. Ball. must be held an
swerable for this great and novel dep
ravation of our political manners.
The latest Republican CONSIDER is
the young lady who has set her we'd
ding ..the day after Blaine is elected. )"
The girl is fortunate i'll one thing. She
need to be under no anxiety about the
Marriage laws of the State where she
lives. it will make no difference TO
her whether a license is required or
not.
The dispatches say that sin each
town in Michi9n we tn General Logan
has hssn passss se eeoonze siys
a holidarcusesFhe school-boys who take
adHrnta.he rllle, hor day to hear Logan
Tonprobably -. tick inced by him that
Il can get&l9-ery well without
SCI spling. The late Re ~-
nterIMr r- Hen Louisduring the long
d inc oS eadlines of thtrant PUBIC p.
i pf66ilosophics succeeding dav of passing
eres*s. Hish Nones strike the National
ma aflike< aRiet ut of new ideas. He
r les w rst the accuracy of the
Ed to ho e Pist6rian BrooLlyn Eaqls.
A-Wlnts. A Democrats say that
aSew York de Show good for at least
10000 maj0bwardor Cleveland. The
favor 81 the h nocratic candidates,
and NPs York and Kings Counties can
be depbnhdeSnap to duplicate their
famous maj0fftles of 1876. In fact,
Kings County, if reports can be relied
upon, will give an unprecedented ma
jority for Cleveland.
The latest defense of Blaine in
the railroad matter is the worst of all.
1t is urged now that he was an inno-
cent man who fell into the. hands of
the sharpers, Fisher and Caldwell.
Aside from the direct evidence that
proves the contrary, this is an extreme
~ stupid defense. Blaine and his
friends have insisted so long that all
his transactions with Fisher and Cald-
well were perfectly upright and honor
able that it is too late to play him for
pipeOn
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-10-09

His knowledge and estimate OF the guilt
are SHOWN in the agonizlng letters beg
ging for silence, and in the letter OF In
dorsement the signatures to which were
pleaded for with the most bringing and
abiect humiliation and fear. II Mr..
Blaine had acted as an agent or an at
torney in placing these bonds and IN
bringing about the legislation to make
them valuable, he would have written
no such letters. He would have held
his head high---for lawyer may prop
erly do what many another man would
shrink from doing. No lawyer is in
the habit of saying: keep my name
ouiet;n ssNo one will ever know from
me that have disposed of single dol
lar;'' .sPray let me know what am to
expect Burn this letter." ETC., etc.
The people can not afford to have as
their President man who is ashamed,
as lawyer or representative, of his own
acts. The spectacle of man destined
to be President going on his knees to
beg such men as Fisher and Mulligan
for mercy would be so humiliating to
the chief office that it would be dishon-
or to every man, woman and child of
our SO, OO0, 900 people. We say .tsuch
men as Fisher and Mulligan. = What
ever the result of their disclosures, no.
body can respect them. They have
held this rod over Mr.. Blaine a good
many years, and that it should descend
at this critical moment is evid ence that
they are quite as malicious as they are
patriotic. The agony OF MIR. Blaine
during all this time would have melted
better hearts than theirs, and that it did
not do so merely serves to show that
the Republican candidate in his yearn-
ing for wealth got into company as well
as business which an honorable man
would avoid as he would 3 pestilence.
Some time since MIR. Blaine declared
that he desired no magnanimity on the
part of his opponents. 1t was a bold
declaration, and under the circumstance
es which inspired it 1t was offensive. 1t
is time for magnanin,ity, and there is
no man who needs it more than he
N. !. Graphic.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-10-09
SCIENCE AND-lNDUSTRY.

L q
! Getting ont and grinding hemIock
| industry in some parts of the country.
- Chicago Herald.
| The latest discoveries render in
sulation SO perfect that to day there j.
less loss of electrical power between
the United States and England than
there formerly was between New York
and Brooklyn. N. Y. Sun.
Plates of cast glass have been sub
stituted for copper in the sheatfng Of
an Italian vessel, the joints being made
| tight with sllicate mastic. The adj
vantages claimed are exemption from
oxidation and lncrustatlon. - M r.
Herald.
Experiments with an !. electric
tricycle. in England have been 80 en-
couraging that $50 machines will be
built They are driven by storage
battery, carry two persons, and are ex-
pected to run at the rate of six miles an
hour on level ground. 4
To make plaster set quickly mix it
with water into which little sulphate
OF potash has been dissolved. Tomake
plaster set slowly mix it with line
slaked lime. The time of setting may
be regulated after a few trials by
changing the relative proportions.
Cleveland Leader. 1
A pure black upon wood may be
produced bv the application of the
following mixture: Pour four quarts
of water ever an ounce of logwood
and, when the solution is effected, add
a dram of yellow chromate of po-
tasslum and stir the whole well. 1t
may require Sc. eral applications OF the
mixture. II Exchange
A young man in prison at Karlaus.
Bohemia. has constructed marvel of
ingenuity in the shape of a watch eight
centimetres in diameter and two in
thickness, made from the only materi-
ais available to him-straw, thread,
two needles and small piece of paper
and with little more necessary mate
rial could be made to go for twelve.
"A possible clew to the sudden ia
tally produced by ichloroform in some
cases, even when administered by the
most cautious experts, is furnished by
the just published experiments of M.
Dubois. of Paris, who finds that this
agent acts III extraordinary rapidity
Oh CTlmlNdlS dlCcT luc iubiOuuCLiOA Vi
alcohol into the system, and terminates
in death with startling abruptness.
If it be true, as the Charleston Is.
CO NeWs and Courier asserts. that a
successful cotton-picker has been in
vented which stands the test OF practi-
cal use, it is one of the most important
of recent times, and will be
worthy to take rank in the same cate
CORY with Whitney's cotton-gin and
Arkwright's spindles. It cost 200, 000.-
600 to pick last years crop. 1t is
claimed for the new machine that it
will do the work for one-seventh OF the
cost of hand labor. -Prdsrte Farmer.
Walton, lock maker, OF Birming-
ham, Eng, has a master key which he
claims is capable of opening 22,600
patent lever locks, all the locks to be
different-that is to say, each of the
20, 600 locks may be different in their
wards and combinations. The key
weighs three ounces and is nickel
PLACED. 1t has taken the inventor
three years to compile the drawings of
the different wards and combinations
which enable this extraordinary pro-
duct of human ingenuity to be made.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-10-09
PITH AND POINT.

Girls, don't paint. Men know that
pale apple is just as sweet as red
one. sa
The morning papers tell of Bos-
ton physician being killed by q former
patient. And yet scientists say that
ghosts can't hurt anybody.-Pailaaei-
phia Cal.
James," said stern old veteran
to his son-"James, never kick man
when he is down, because it's coward
ly.'' Il won't, father,n responded
James; s.nor will kick him when he is
up, because it's risky."--N. y. Ledger.
Ills suicide a crimep" asks con-
temporary. Well, even though it may
not be crime, it is very annoying
and unpleasant habit. and one that GER
tain1y has tendency TO shorten the
life of the victim. --Burlingto HGUk-
eye.
doctor said fashionable belle,
'swhat do you think of tight lacing?"
The doctor solemnly replied: MADAM,
all can say is, that the more wom-
ans waist is shaped like an hour-glass,
the sooner will her sands of life run
out. ~ Y. Graphic sts,,.
They have rough hygienic princi..
Piles in Boston. A prominent physi-
clan of the Hub is quoted as saying:
eff a child does not thrive on fresh
milk, boil it. - Boiled children is evil
IDENTITY the last Boston craze, but will
never become popular. = The Hoosier.
mo, my son. prize fighters never
go to war. They know that cannonl
ball, bent upon knocking man out in
one round, doesn't stop and go back to
its own corner merely because the man
lies down. You never hear of a prize
fighter fighting anywhere unless there,
is lots of gate money behind the fight. -
-Burli7aQton H0UEeqe.
First dude-'I thay, old boy, who
it'll that little fellah your fatha and
mothaw theem to be tho fond OFF,
SECOND dnde."Ehath -Ind Hardnn.