Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-02-14

The ether evening, - q party 0: the
most solemn members of tho Pacific
Club we're swapping lies and chucklinR
over the thousand and one repetitiOns
Of the same old chestnut stories, Q
thin man, attired chiefly in q shiny coat
and an inRratiating smile, slid into the
room.
Don't want any books or liver pads"
erowled ope of tho stewards, and
we've oil sub cribsd TO the yellow fever
, sufferers"
"Thst's all right, gentlemen; under
stand all that" said the stranger, rap
Idly unstrapping q small box; "but
have something here that you want
something you need worse than hungry
dog does q bone, if l may b allowed
the expression"
Flea powder, eh?'' asked old Booty,
| the wins merchant.
mo, gentlemen; wish to invite your
attention to the last great triumph Of
inventive genius, the husbands friend,
the promoter of family concord. the
pourer Of oil upon the troubled waters
Of domestic life."
"Good scheme" said Judge Goffman,
waking mp.
"Now, then. give me you. entire attsn-
tion," ssid the thin man, impreesively.
What il it, Rentlemen-whati 10 Ii that
is chiefly the cause of family jars and
unhappinese? nov. what 10 isF"
"LAtch keys." said one memper, afssr
thinking.
"Dfy ooods bills," said another.
Lodge nights added third.
mother in-law." put In fourth.
"No, gentlemen, You haven't bit II
ab>A hAt ~
all our domestic QuaI.ols are brought
abeut BY want Of skil in expsctoration
on the part of the head Of the family.
i You are all married men, take i'll"
The entire delegation nodded their
bald heads solemnly.
aud such Of you a. don't smoke do
chew. What Ia the result7 You expec-
terate accordingly. OF course you use
the spittoon, and you Aatter yourselves
that y0u hit the bulls eye every time,
bat you don't. You try to do 70; Your
intentions are honorable, but the sAd
fast remains the same, that the parl0E
and bedroom ruRs become soiled. What
fOlloW62 Why, War-that most terrible
curss of our alleged siviiixatisn-do-
mestic war;
The clubbers nodded thoughtful a.
sent.
| "Ncv, this failure 70 expeotorats with
precision arises from the I'M Ortunats
smallneas Of the human nose-thers ID
nothing 70 sight BY. The BEST split
lever aaw vas q man with nses like Z
pslioan. He could swamp . ny on The
wing"
How vas be on clay pieeonsr' asked
sporting member.
Nov how can - remedy this unfor.
tunate defect Of the human faoe-n0W
fhov7 Why, naturally ws treat the noe
the same e rifle and pat sights On u, :
and the inventor produced lot Of 20
culiar instruments from his box. ~
oall this 'Gshey's Combined Eye Clan
Nose SIGHT and 'Deadahss Expeosorasor.
By the oss Of this LITTLE apparstos yos
are enabled 10 sxpectsEAts with tn
, greatest precision from one 70 nftess
.. yards. A simpl, turn Of this elsvasinl
. breeeh sight-aimilar 70 that OF thl
Winchester rifs-does the entire bus
ness. Only one dollar. Fifty cents 81
ira for this Hind Eaes attachment. whiel
enables TIE 1ser 70 spit clear through
ssrsst car without hitting the eondueeo
ooce. Juse Tie thing for fsTTyboata
, Juse look at this," and With treat dex
{ serity the speaker put 0uS the light o
!. . membsf's cigar on ths oshsr saas Q
tho rooO.
3 A. the investor picked hinsslf sp .
{ ths bottom Of the staircase, Q Do0eo
! aftsruard, b mntteFed. - he aaa1e6 d
: his oIoGhae and rsadjaseed his eass:
What's the uss Of trying 70 amslio
: rstp The oouAitioa Il yoo4 tel o. man b
! . oommunity like thu! and - drIfte'
a 70 - he 6eeestary ct 6eats aooa
! oostsaetine for hundred Rroao Tor -
: uss a - Legislature.