The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1884-11-21
MR. JARpHLY DEcEIvEs HIS WIFE.

[Pi,tsburg Chronicle Telegraph
The thin man without shirt collar was cvi-
IDENTIFY tickled He alainly evinced it, as men
who feel tickled gen4ally DOLBY sundry grunts,
mods of the head, anl sly glances, accompanied
bv broad and knowing smiles.
"Wot is it, Mr. Jarphly I" asked the Cold Tea
Man.
"Why, you see, Martha got in the habit of
sitting up for meat an early age, and she can't
break it off; SO know just about the reception
I'll get every night when get home after tea.
couldn't persuade her to go to befand mind her
own business SO studied on the matter We
live in one of the center houses of block OF 3
two-story ard attic buildings. There's scuttles
in the roof Of all of them, and persuaded Mr.
Greenup, who lives in the adjoining house, to
let me in his house last night about o'clock,
and went up through the scuttle and over to
mine, and so down into our bedroom. could
sec Martha, from the head Of the stairs, sitting
in the front room cycling the clock with look
that was a very tart chrome. But undrcssed
and quietly got in bed, and there lay waiting
develOpcments. Every now and then IA near
Martha give short, fidgety cough. Then ia
hear her get up and prance around the room 9
little and by and by go to the front Windows
and slam the shutters. Then could hear hff
talking to herself"
spraying for you probably.
$50 reckun and at last,aftcr I'd lain mere
about an hour, j heard her get up and gostand
out on the front doorstep for good Hihutes.
I'll bet 81 know where the mop-handiee, was
then; but was SO comfortable in bed, like,
die, 4 care TO look it up. Then she came in
and slammed the door and Locked 1t, and COM
menced coming up stairs. Every other step
she'd saw, %, The wretch! Won't / give 1t to
him! know where he is know where ne Is.
He needn't think to deceive me ., the villain
Bout the time She had got nearly to the landihg
! think she must have seen the hSnt STREAMING
out of the door that I'd left ajar. could hear
her stem. and then 1 commenced to snOre, was
afraid to look, you know; but could feel her
cautiously cCane up to the door and look III.
Well. sir, TdIgiyen my pension from the war OK
l776 10 have seen her about the time she saw II
was me. IN bet it was fun. But l was AFRAID
to do anything but snorc. Then she came INTO
the room. ard, by the way she Dreathed ana
stood around, had to nearly bite my tongue
out TO keep 1 straight face on me. could feel
that she sat dagn in chair and was dumb
founded. Gsyer let on, but kept on snoring
like thunder; but, when she kicked over chair
turned and pretended to wake up, Kind OF
dazed like, and says
"tWhy, Martha, dear, amt you come TO bed
YETI
like, swhen did you come in?
.liVhy, must be or 5 hours ago. Don't you
remember when told you not to go TO sleep
again in the rockei, but to come up to bed ?and
Turned over and protested to so to sleep
again.
aShe never made any reply, but acted in
dazed, bewildered sort of way, and when she
got to bed could tell she didn't sleep. wink
for hours. 0rte she punched me in the ribs
and said, 'Jeremkh, where were you tonight
and says, WY, | went over to hear Mrs
CeldtaLb,s Iss1l en- temperance; lst out about
tThis morning it was fun to watch Martha:
could hardly keep straight face. At the
break fast tabA, and all the time was about
The honse. shS n eye me when she thought 1
wasn't looking, then when I'd noticed her, shed
turn away and he awful busy at something
She caught me kind Of grinning once, and, by
George, thought the explosion was about to
come. But 1t didn't, though the look of blank,
unfathomable suspicion she wore on her face all
the time was the greatest show on the earth. 1t
nearly broke me up, and laughed till my ribs
ache ever since. know it wont last. know
there's day OF rspenting a-coming, and the
thermometer is going up clear ont of sight in
the Jarphly family. But who's going after
troubles It'll come soon er ough without hunt
ing land I'm going to enjey ruat scut:lo IN the
roof until the explosion comes
THE RESULT OF A CONSULTATIONS.
"Have you revised copy OF the New Iesta-
ment in the library Miss Smith :" asked the
VIC ung minister who was making an evening
aoJ ,o.,rtlx, iat ar6 ,,ortly othprWise.