davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-14
A Funny Dog Who Fooled Doctor
and Got WOrsted.
Phila ielphia News. |

Philadelphia News
| The other morning as belated mem.
Der of the Owl club was steering
through the fog which often hangs ovel
the city of Baltimore at B a. M, he
passed house in Mission street, where
resided well-known physician. The
vsstibule of this residence was open
and on its side the dim rays of the
moon, struggling through the gloom
produced by the efforts of the city gas
company, disclosed the mouth ::of an
acoustic tube, underneath which was
the incription: whistle for DR.. Potts. "
Not wishing to be dsobliging about
so small matter, the owl stumbled up
the steps, and, steadying himself against
the wall, blew into the pipe with all the
strength Of his lungs.
The physician. who was awakened by
the resultant shrill whistle near his
head arose, and, after wondering at the
singular odor of whisky in the room,
CROPPED his way to the tube and shouted ::
"Well?"
"Glad to know you're well,' was the
reply; "but, being a doctor, l spose you
can keep well at cost price, can't you?"
what do you want?" said the man
of pills, not caring to joke in the airy
nothing of his nightshirt.
WELL" said the party at the other
end Of the tube. after few moments
meditation. "Oh! by the way, are you
young Potts or old Potts?"
81 am DR.. Potts; there is no young
Potts"
Not dead, I hope"
"There never was any. l have no
SON."
"Then you are young Potts and old
Potts too. Dear, dear, how singular"
What do you want?" snapped the
doctor, who was beginning to feel as if
his legs were a pair of elongated
icicles.
You know old Mrs. Peavine, who
lives in the next block? ?"
Eyes. Is she sick? What's wrong"
"Do you know her nephew, too-Bill
Briggs
Yes. Well?"
well, we went up to Bridgeport
shooting this morning, and
And he had an accident? Hold up
minute I'll be down.
NO, lie all TlSut, Dul lie gov SiAtN
two ducks-eighteen of 'em mallards. l
thought you might like to hear it."
And the joker hung on to the muzzle
and laughed like hyena digging up a
fat bullock.
II say came down from the exasper
ated NJ d., that's jolly good joke
my friend. Won't you take some
thing?"
WHAT" said the surprised humorist,
pausing for breath.
why, take something. Take this
And before the disguised funny man
could withdraw his mouth, a hastily
compounded mixture of ink, ipecac and
asafntida squirted from the pipe, and
deluged him from head to foot, about a
pint monopolizing his shirt front and
collar.
And while he danced frantically
around, sponging himself off with his
handkerchief, and swearing like pirate
in the last act, he could hear voice
from above sweetly murmur:
"Have some more? No. Well,
goodnight. Come again soon, you
funny dog, you. By-by."
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-14
BEFORE DAWN.
Maurice Thornp

Maurice Thompson.I
A keen, insistent hint of dawn
Fell from the mountain height;
A wan, uncertain g.eam betrayed
The faltering Of the night.
The emphasis Of silence made
The fog above the brook
Intensely pale; the trees took on
A haunted, haggard look.
Such quiet came. expectancy
Filled all the earth and sky:
Time seemed to pause little space;
heard a dream 20 byi
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-14

Mrs Miller the mother of joaquin, has
been married at Portland. Oregon, TO a
young man named Allison, who was formerly
a farm laborer. The bride is co, while he is
but 81.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-14

1.-THE student" says Prof Wilders Health
Notes. should never sleep less than eight
hours, and he should not study directly after
meals"
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
POETRY.
q OLD CHURCH,

Thou art crumbling to the dust. old pile:
Thou art fastening to thy fall:
And round thee in thy loneliness
Cllngs the ivy to the wall.
The w~orShiperS are scattered now
Who knelt before thy shrine,
And silence reignS where anthems rose
In days of auld lang svne.
And sadly signs the wandering wind
Where oft in Years gone by
Prayers rose from many hearts to Him.
The highest of the high.
The tread of many Il noiseless foot
That sought thy aisles is DER,
And many a weary heart around
Is still forever more.
How doth ambitions hope take wing;
ilo" droops the spirit now;
We hear the distant city's din.
The dead are mute below;
The sun which shOne upon their paths
Now giiuS their lowlv graves;
The Zephyrs which once famed their
The grass above them waves.
Oh. could We call the many back
WhO've gathered here in vaiu.
Nho've careless roved where we lonow,
Who'll meet again:
How would our very hearts be stirred
TO meet the earnest gaze,
OF the lovely and the beautiful,
The light of other days.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
C0FFINS, .CASKETS,

and Undertakcrs' goods generally, which
we offer at reasonable prices. Give us a
call when anything of this kind is needed,
Carr hges furnished whend desired. Can be
found at store during day, or at residence,
on Hay Street, just above depot, at night
or on the Sabbath.
S. SHEETZ & son.
Green St. T?vct:cvi3ic, y. r.
may I!
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
A Collegiate Education.

Young Man departing for col
lege)-Well, father. good-by. You
may expect to hear from me often
and | trust that on my return You
will find that | have not been I'M
mindful Of your seff-sacrificing eff
forts to provide HE with an educa.
ton. Good-by,
Father with emotion )-Good-by
Fry seal, good-by!
Young Man (Three months later
Arriving from college)-Ah, Cover
nor, how de do? Delighted to see
you. Bah Jove. Beastiy weathav
this, don't you know. How's the
folks? Doosed glad to get home
etc, etc.
The old gentleman thinks OF
bringing suit against the college,
n. 7. SIN.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
A Dubious Compliment

do you play very much nova
DAYS, Miss Smith," he asked, as they
seated themselves after a waltz.
"Only occasionally" she replied.
81 have neglected my music shame
fully of late and | am getting quite
out Of practice"
II was passing your honse last
evening" he went on, land stood at
the gate for a moment to hear you
play. Instead of getting out Of prac-
tic. | think you are improving-if
any improvement is possible, he
added politely.
Last EVENING" she asked.
Yes, about nine O'clock
you are mistaken. | was at the
opera last evening"" she said in a
strained voice, as she accepted an
invitation to dance from another
gentleman. at was the man tun-
Eng the piano you heard"
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16

"Any reduction in the price OF
clothing?' he asked. Very large
reduction" answered the dealer Il
would like to buy a pair of panta-
looms if 1 can get them cheap enough
well, sir. prices have all gone to
pieces, particularly on pantaloons.
The bottom has fairly dropped ont"
In that ease said the customer,
turning to go, Il guess I will stick
to my old ones for a while yet.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
ADVERTISEMENTS
AYERS
Hair VigOr

restores. with the gloss and freshness of
youth, faded or gray hair to a natural, rich
b:own color, or deep black, rs may be desired.
Il: its use light or red hair may be Garktncd,
lin hair thickcmed, and badness often,
though not always, cured.
1t checks falling of the hair, ;md >t;n.u-
lates Il weak and sickly growth to vigor. 1t
prevents and cures scurf and dandrutf, aud
heals nearly every disease peculiar to the
scalp. As a Ladies' Hair DresSin., tie
NIGoH is ~unequalled it contains neither oil
nor dye, renders the hair soft, glossy. and
silken i'll appearance, and imparts Il delicate,
agreeable, and lasting perfume.
Mr.. c. T. BRicHER writes from Ki,Jy. o.,
Jniy ;, 1SS2 =" Last fall my hair commenced
falling out. ami i'll a short time | became
nearly bald. | used part of Il bottle of
AYERS HAIR EIGoR,w which stopped the fall
ing of the hair. and started II new growth. |
have now u full head of hair gr"wing:vi@or-
Ous!y. and am convinced that but for the
entirely bald
j. ". RowEN, proprietor of the Nc L1har
(6hto) EEJHirrr. say AYERS HAIR NIGuH
i, a most excellent preparation for the hair.
l speak Of it from my own experience. Its
use promotes the growth of new hair. and
makes it glossy and soft. The NlG"E is also
n sure cure for daniruff. Not within my
knowledge has the preparation ever failed
to give entiro satisfaction
MIR. Angus FAIl;EtlRN, leader of the
celebrated "Fairbairn Family" of Scottish
NocaliStS. writes from BDsion, Mass. EtE. &,
1850: Ever since my hair began to give sill
very evidence Of the change which iicetiug
time prOctlreth, | have used AYERS HAIR
SNI;oK. a(ti so have .hccn able to maintain
an appearance Of youthfulneSs- "A matter of
considerable consequence to ministers. ora
tors. actors, and in fact every one who lives
i'll the eyes of the public"
Mrs. O. 4. PRESCOTT, writing from Is Elm
81, fHGTieStOTH. 1hISs., .ipfu II. lNs2. says:
1.-Two years az" about two-third> of my hair
came OFF. 1t Trimmed very rapidly. and ! WAS
fast growing bald. ON using AYERS HAIR
NIGOH the falling stopped and Il new growth
commenced, and in about Il month my head
was completely covered with short hair. 1t
has continued to grow, and is now as good as
before it fell. 1 regularly used but one hottie
of the EIGoR, but now use it occasionally as
q tressin..'
We have hundreds of similar testimonials
to the efficacy of AYERS HAIE NIGoE. 1t
needs but a trial to convince the most skepti-
cal of its value.
BY
Dr.. j. C. Aver Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16

"Molly, l wish you would be a
'.atter little GIRL" said an Austin
tather to his little daughter. "You
rave no idea how sorry l am, that
mama has to scold you all the time"
Don't worry about it pa was the
reply of the little angel, Il am not
one Of those sensitive children. Half
the time don't hear what she SAYS"
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
i:,",Ms ~ l'E.N. TX. COW.

Lf"'N" ~ I't.N. IN. ON.
t,i F!,I.\\
Fayetteville, July H.. ST.
At Il meeting OF the Democratic
Voters. held May 9th, it was desired
that the Senatorial and County Con-
Ventions for the purpose of nominating
Legislative and County Officers, shall
be held on the 9th day Of September,
being the last Saturday.
The primary meetings to be held in
the different Townships at their usual
places at 3 o'clock u. NJ. the last Satur-
day. Both day Of August, to elect ten
Delegates and ten Alternates to repre-
sent the respective Townships in said
County Convention. There ought to
be large attendance in each Township,
and an Executive Committee of five
good workers must be elected to serve
for the next two years.
My friends, great tidal wave Of pO-
litical reform viii sweep 0Ver the ma
ton this Fail. Let lis by prompt and
energetic action put Cumberland in
line to enjoy this great victory by q
signal triumph in November.
W. c. TROY,
Ch'mn Dem. k&. CDln.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16

Not long ago a young Florida
negro named Romeo married a young
colored girl named Juliet. They
now have twins which they have
named Romulas and Remus, and
they are all driven to church every
Sunday by a horse named Pontius
PLATE in a carriage named Noah's
Ark.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16

A poor young man remarks that
the only advice he gets from worthy
men is to live within his income,'
whereas the the difficulty he ex-
periences is to live without an in
come.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
More Scandal.

Chicago Neus:: "What, Governor
st. John has a scandal, too"
well, he was discovered in the
arms Of a woman"
us that possible? When:'
ooh, a good many years ago
WHO Was the woman2'
"His MOTHER
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
WIT AND HUMOR,

Why doth the little country boy
Tear madly ut his pants?
Cnthinkingly he sat him hOWn
Upon Il crowd of ants.
The sun. (Fayetteville, N.C.) 1883-188?, 1884-09-16
In Bad Luck.

Il hear you've had a promotion.
Glad to hear Of your good inck.'
Good luck! You don't call it
good luck to be taken in partner
ship, do you?"
"Well, yes. [ should think so.
It, gives a man a better chance to
accumulate a fortune.'
Not when he was cashier IN the
first place"
National Republican., 1884-11-24

The accident by which thei cruiser
Dolphin was disabled upon her trial trip
was an unlucky affair, and will un-
doubtedly lead to hostile criticism of the
quality OF the materials of which her ma
chinery has bcen constructed. Ill-na.
tured representations of similar acci-
donts to the machinery of the larger un-
finished cruisers will not be lacking. But
kindred accidents are not uncommon. In
yestigation will show that not few of
the palatial steamers in the transatlantic
service have had equally essential parts
oftheir machinery disabled on their trial
trips, and the records Of the past year will
show several instances where these
grayhounds Of the ocean had to fin
ish voyages under sail because of
broken shafts, disabled steering ap-
paratus, and other forms Of disable
to determine whether tho elaborate ma
chinery required for steamer will with
stand the powerful strain it is meant to
sustain. All the skill and experience Of
the steel forger will not always enable
him to determine accurately whether the
masses Of metal used in its larger parts
have fused and flown together through
out until in tenacity and strength tho
metal will come up to tho standard of his
desire and expectation. Investigation
shows that the interior Of the steel shaft
at the point OF breakage was defective.
As the firm that constructed it for john
Roach & Co. will have to replace the shaft
with new one at their own expense, it
does not appear likely that inferior steel
was purposcly used, but that the break
down was the result of imperfect fusion
which such tests as are commonly re-
sorted to failed to reveal. 1t is fortunate
that the defect came to tho surface on
tho initial trip Of the vessel, instead OF
after she had gone into active service.
National Republican., 1884-11-24
Acknowledgement in England.

Mr.. Gladstone's franchise bill is evil
IDENTIFY destined to soon become British
law, and its immediate effect will be to
greatly extend the list Of persons vested
with the right of suffrage in Great
BSitain> /Soaiething over two million
voters will at once be added to the ranks
of those who elect the house of commons,
the new element being mainly COM
posed Of the agricultural laborers
of the two islands. The new voters
will be composed of class Of men
who heretofore have been absolutely
without influence in shaping govern
mental policies. Their feelings or opin-
ions have never been thought of in that
connection. Now at one bound they will
become powerful political quantity, with
tendencies naturally opposed to those of
tho present ruling classes. The rapid
growth of radical democratic feeling in
England of late years will be greatly
celebrated by the investment with the
ighJ Of suffrage of this great body Of
men whose past life must incline them
instinctively to accept doctrines that
teach the absolute equality of all men.
Tho life of the agricultural laborer OF
England has been one of incredible hard
ship and poverty. To him the nobility
and gentry have been as inhabitants of
another world so far as any similarity OF
ideas, privileges, and methods of living
were concerned. 1t is but human nature
that they should cherish sense Of wrong
and resentment that will incline them to
use their new right of suffrage to break
down as fast as possible the exclusive
privileges Of the so.called upper classes
With two millions of new voters added tc
those who now clamor for the abolishment
of the house Of lords its accomplishment
may be one of the noted events of tht
next decade or SO.
National Republican., 1884-11-24
ABOUT PEOPLE.

LIEUT.. CHARLES J. BADGER, U. s. N, of the
Greedy relief vessel Alert, is in the city on
visit
GEN. C. G. AuGUR, U. S, A., has returned to
his headquarters at Fort Leavenworth from an
eastern visit
SENATOR AND Mrs. THOMAS G. PLATT, of New
York, arrived here yesterday. and have quar-
tiers at the Arlington.
Hon. FRANK HuRp has secured his old quar-.
ters ut Wormley's for this winter, and will ar
rive there next Saturday.
JUDGE GLENN w, scHoPIEIp, OF the court of
claims, returned TO the Riggs house Saturday
evening from his home at Warren, Pa.
p,v,,srrp En,v,pp N wurTxuousr II @
N and Mr. Francis N Wbi,ehonse arrived al
the Riggs house last night from Chicago.
CoI. JAvps O. WrsTrpsurru doorkeonor of
the bonse of renresentatives arrived ot his old
quarters at wliard,s Yesterday from Tcxas
r. e,,on,,,,,,,,ooa D,,, tIa,,,,,o, F,s,, oou
,,ni, hoan,iS,i %nrno an ,ha u,dso,' 4D zoo, u",
carr,s'r,,s nn,ost, w., poto, .,t,IonoI,, ;,
- NFrN1''0 "s
o,n,.,, ,sha hos hao,, raoan,I,, visI,i,o ~, ,la
oas, a." e,,,snod ,,,,, SIs ar'iIr ~, ht. s,a
49,, =, ~ r., a,no,,,nast,, w '' ~"
,,.,1 -, -
MT h'SeGoLD W. LAKpSEh' sou OF tne ia'e
heAr Aanlirai Laruhet, U' ,, ~, dleu last
wednesday evening IN fhlladelphla, ana VIII
De purleu 'o'uay from HIS ia'o fesidehce III
'ha' oi'y'
Col. WILLIAM scHAPFER, formerly of Hi.
National Republican., 1884-11-24

The Bee. published in this city by
colored man, and having for its purpose
presumably the cultivation Of tho field
open in the future to newspaper which
she reading colored men will recognize
rs the organ of their race, says
We don't believe that Mr.. Cleveland will al
low the negroes to be ill.treated. We believe
that he will open new era, and the dawn of
prosperity will shine upon the negro under Il
democratic administration The negroes have
nothing to fear The more intelligent con-
scientious, and patriotic democrats of the
country will SEQ that the rights of the negroes
are respected
If tho opinion thus expressed was
backed up by any sentiment in the demo-
cratic party of the section where that
sentiment could be made effective, no
good citizen could fail to rejoice in the
fact. But the evidence is all the other
way. The colored man in the south has
been subjected to outrage, shameful and
cruel beyond expression, and IL to-day
absolutely disfranChised unless he votes
with his oppressors. The Atlanta COnsti-
tuition is one Of the brightest and best
newspapers printed in the south. 1t is
certainly a representative of the most
liberal and progressive element OF south
ern democracy, yet in late issue it says:
Those of our people who talk Of hearing no
more Of the solid south do not speak adyisedly.
There is no hope for the prosperity of this sec.
tion, no peace for either race, save in the
clear, unmistakable domination of the white
race. There is no wisdom save In the white
peqple--a the south standing squaroy and
sOlldly together. Whenever the white
{ people of the south split into factions and
Ss.0nd with the negroes between them, holding
the balance OF power, and each faction bid.
ding for their votes, then we shall have lost
more than Cleyeland's election has gained
for u.s.
Here is a plain, unmistakable declgra.
tion that the rights Of tho negro will DO
no moro respected in tho future than
they have beon in tho past few years aud
are now. As for Mr.. Cleyeland's views
SSnd purposes, they cut but little dguro
in this problem. II is not likely that he
would view tho absolute ill-treatment Of
the oolored man with favor; but IL is also
worry unlikely that he would view the
continued foreible disfranchisement of
the colored voters Of tho south with
Rpecial dsfavor, for by that very disfran-
National Republican., 1884-11-24
AMUSEM ENTs.
ALpAuaH's GRAND OPERA HOUSE

ALBAUdHS GRAND OPERA HOUSE.
The week will be sgnalized at the new
theater by the appearance Of mn attraction
worthy the grand stage and other facilities for
the presentation Of spectacular plays, Kiralfy's
Excelsior" with the full effects rs given at
Niblos Garden, in New York. There will be
$50 people on the stage, making tho largest
company ever seen here. There will be the
usual matinoes and an extra one on Thanks
giving The advance sale of seats has boen
unusually large.
THE NATIONAL TiIgATER.
A great moral drama, called "The Wages of
sln," will be presented at the National this
week. While containing no mawkish moral
ity, and aboundng in fine dramatic situations,
its tone is such as to meet the approval Of
many members Of the clergy. The company
Is understood to be an exceptionally strong
one. The usual and special matinte on
Thanksgiving will be given.
FoRD's OPERA HOUSE
Brother Max" Mr.. II. 4, Graham's great
comedy creation, will hold the boards at Ford's
II is full of the merrcst and most taking con-
certs, musical and otherwise. The young
folks are more especially pleased with every
thing that Graham gives, though older heads
are not neglected in the repertory. special
matinee on Thanksgiving day is added to the
usual one
THE TwAIN-cABLE ENTERTAINMENT
There promises to be large audience to-
night at the Congregational church 10 greet
these two literary celebrities who are to en-
tcrtain the public with select readings from
their own works Both these gentlemen are
well known here. and In their special fields Of
literature are unequalcd. Mark Twain " Is
tho prince of American humorists, and Mr..
George w. Cable is the most popular writer OF
nctiou now before the public. The programme
for this evening will give each Of these authors
an op portunity for the display OF their char.
acteristlcs, and presents n rare combination OF
fun, laughter pathos and song.
National Republican., 1884-11-24

chisoment is he now presidont-eloct, and
it is not upon record that he has raised
his voice powerfully in disapprobation of
the suppression OF the natural republican
maioritics Of South Carolina, Mississippi,
or Alabama.
However. Mr.. Cleveland will have no
power to change the status Of poll cal
affairs in the south even il he wisheNo
do so. Tho southern democracy would
quickly resent his interference in behalf
of tho colored man. They value their
control of their local and state govern
ments far more largely than they do the
control OF the national government, and
would quickly give Mr.. Cleveland to un-
derstand that tho latter would be sur
rendered before the colored man would
again be permitted to exercise his lawful
rights as an American citizen according
to his own inclinatlons.
Tho editor Of the Bee. in common with
tho men of his race, is a citizen of the
United States because tho republican
party made him such. No matter what
tup COutEOlliHR IeusOu WAS buht lS u
fact that cannot be got away from or truth
fully denied. If IL had bcen loft to DEM
ocracy to decide tho colored race would
be in slavery to-day.
While somo colored men do not think
this Is sufficient reason why they should
not be democrats, tho fact remains that
the great bulk Of the colored mon think
differently, and love and revere tho party
that gifted them with freedom and the
attributes Of American citizenship. This
feeling is 80 powerful in the south that nc
amount Of persecution has suiliced to
make the colorod men forswear their
devotion to the republican party. SO long
as they continue to cherish this admirable
feeling of gratitude just so long will the
south insist upon "the clear, unmistak
able domination of the white race"
The rights Of tho negro that the Tin
telligent, conscientious, and patriotic
democrats" will SEQ respected arc the
right to remain in ignorance, to work for
low wages, to live in poverty, and remain
in subsection to his white neighbors as at
present. If the editor OF the Bee see:
anything enticing in the continuance Of
the present condition of his race 1t Is moi
very creditable to him as member of it
Perhaps he thinks he can hatter democ'
racy into loving his people.
National Republican., 1884-11-24

os5Es sPANfER's VINE STONE.
ntNtpuAr
WANTED-HELP.

w capable woman an to cook. wash and Iron
good wages given to suitable woman; ref renee
rpuuired, 2.2O