The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-10-21
PULPIT WIT.
Playful Hints Mt Inatteutive Congregations.
q. MI.

Playful Hints Mt Inatteuilve Congregations.
Roter Collyer In Chieuoo Current.
1t Is q matter Of debate also, touching
this question OF true preaching, whether i
grain OF wit or humor should ever be ad.
mittcd within the pulpit. And this seems
to have been Il long debate. I notice
Sherlock girded at South, that primate Of
tine wit two centuries ago, for some bright
strokes in q sermon, whercat South re-
plies: swell, now, Sherlock, suppose it
had pleased God to give you wit, what
would you have done about it," Sidney
Smith did not often give play to his ever
tiashing wit in the church. Still. now
and then It would fly forth in despite
| OF all his care. lie was the preacher
once for some great charity, and thinking
to get on the giving side OF his hearers he
said: "Ot all nations on the earth the
English are the most distinguished for the
love OF their Species" But it turned out
a poor collection after all. So on was
much disturbed by the mean show the
boxes made when they came to the table
and said: "My friends, I have made
mistake. I should have said: You are
distinguished among Englishmen for love
Of your specie!" liz disliked dull ser.
mons and preachers, and after hearing
one who was past grand master in this art,
he said: "Bess me! the man breaches as
If sin was to he taken out OF men, as Eve
was taken out OF Adam, by first putting
him 10 sleep" ;>@.5M
! heard q story last summer about him
from a fine old friend in London, which l
have not seen In the books. Nv friend
said she was dining with him Ia con.-
pany when some talk was made about the
curious fact that We have to note SO often
OF ministers who do not know when to
stop on account OF their age, but keep on
preaching long after the people have lost
all interest in what they have to say.
"ies, yes" the old man cried, 'it's all
true. We are nil alike there. WHY, if |
was forced to retire from the pulpit l
should take my old sermons into the gar-
den and read them to the gardener until
he went off into deep slunbcr with his
hoe in his hand.n
/ wonder also, as write this, whether
We shall ever hit on any sure method Of
keeping our people awake to the end OF
tho sermon. The finest preacher, TO my
mind, on the p!aHet heard once Of plan
to 60 round witha feather brush veil laden
with snuff and put it under the slecpcrs
nose, but he thought the better plan would
be to put the snuff in the sermon, see
Q note ola worthy man who WIS preach
ing one sultry. day, and noticing how his
hearers were nearly all asleep, came to a
dead stop, which woke them all up, and
then he said: "My dear friends, this ser
mon cost me a sight Of pains. It's q pity
TO throw It away, SO We will begin again
with the text" sF
He, in New York, in tho last age, q
sound but sleepy divine adopted another
plan. He said: - s51.z,
, y notice about forty Of us are asleep, SO
will postpone the rest OF my discourse
until we are all awake" - =
A preacher down in Connecticut in a
like sorrow and trial, said ~ come now
to the third head Of my discourse, to which
| ask the candid attention OF those who
are still awake" and good old man in
Massachusetts fell on this plan, EIe said:
Brethren, this is q big church. Now, il
speak to you softly, those who are near
the doors will not be able to hear me,
while if l speak loud, I shall waken a
good many who sit near the pulpit. Now,
what shall do in this sore dilemma?