Connecticut western news., 1884-02-06
WIT AND WISDOM.

WHoso keepeth his mouth and tongue, keepeth his soul from troublce.
 As CHARITY covers a multitude of sins before God, SO does pohtonoss before men.
 THERE arc eleven bit factories run- ming in ono Connecticut town. It is place to get bit.
 GIVE work rather than aims 10 tho poor. The former drives out indolencer the latter industry.
 IT makes a red nosed man mad to have the agent at the box office say; "You want a seat near the door, of course ?"
 YouNo man, try 10 cultivate Q hunted look. Then people will think you're bounded to death by leap ycnr pro- posals.
 THE principal fun in sleighing, says an old bachelor, is to see how far you can drive without getting your ears frost bitten.
 BE NOT penny.wiBe: riches have wings, and sometimes fly away oi themselves; sometimes they must be set flying to bring in more.
 "I ALLUs gets outen de way O de man whut is too smooth, said Uncle Nose. "De snako is hemp slickor den de toad, an he's nine times as pizon,"
 A DoY in New York State has awal. lowed a tin whistle. We arc sorry for the whistle, very sorry, but what a relief it must be 10 the neighborhood.
 WHEN Clara was asked what she would do fl nice young gentleman would ask her hand in marriage, sho naively replied, "1 don't think I'd mo-"
 WHAT has become of our manly mon asks an exchange. Well, some of them are the husbands of womanly women and are engaged in raising childish children.
 A PHILADELPHIA man who has Tor hf- teen years been the husband of asoldier'a widow is going to apply for n pension. He claims that no soldier ever suffered as much as he has.
 "I WILL accept anything else in poli- ties as Q necessity, but save me from a post office fight in q small town," er. claims Q Congressman. "Tbey surpass earthquakes md cyclones" "
 A SAVINGS bank cashier in Wisconsin has just died from the site of mad cat. Friends of the cat ask for Q suspension of public opinion until the banks ec- counts can be investigated. NOBODY ever succeeded in painting n good picture of horso trade. They can't somehow give to the mons faces expressions that convey any commen- surate idea of the lying going on. To TELL our own secrets is generally folly, but that folly is without guilt; to communicate those with which we arc intrusted is always troachery, and treachery for the most part combined with folly.
 THE conceited husband who undertook to show his wife how to cook n steak didn't burn the latter because he burned his hand 80 badly that he had to give up the job before he had fairly com
 menced it.
 A LITTLE boy was asked by his neither to go Co the store aud get some eggs. He went. and on his return he dropped
 them. His mother asked him if he had broken any of them. He replied: "No;
 but the shells came off of some" TRuE repentance consists in the heart being broken for sin and broken from sin. Some often repent, yet mover TO- form; they resemble n man travelling in
 a dangerous path. who frequently starts and stops, but never turns aside. i AN order of the Pennsylvania Railroad , Company forbids presents from ems i ployees to their superiors in the service. This protects the conductor or ticket ] agent who must spend S25 for wine r when he receives n S7 brass-hoaded
 cane.
 "wmE, say, what are you opening all the doors for? I'm nearly frozen 1"
 "Oh, James, it's so cold out doors And
 there are SO many poor people exposed
 on the street thought would just , let out little warm air Co the poor things :"
 "How do I look, Millyg' asked Brown, who had donned his new dress suit for the first time. Milly hesitated but moment. "Why, papa 7" she ex- claimed, gazing at his expansive shirt
 front, "you look exactly like Toms
 bow kite.
 HERE is fair sample of the small boys diary. "Got up and washed me had breakfast down hill--had a
 fight with Willie Smith-we don't speak any more. wore hole in the toe of my
 now boot, steering my slcd--oat supper -pa spanked mo about tho boot--went
 to bed bully good day" X YOUNG man in Owcgo went home late the other night and as he erept into bed bis feet encountered warm hatiron placed there by thoughtful mother He is nursing a sore toe now.
 He says he thought some animal had
 crawled in there. and he was going to 3 kill it with his first kick if he could.
 4 NEW YORK photographer says he frequently photographs "dolls," This is Hot new departure, however. Dolls have been photographed for years, To be sure, they possess little more ani- nation than the mechanical dolls now made, but their position in society and the good they accomplish in this world are about the same. A GRAMMAR school boy became SO os' streperous that his teacher, new in her ? vocation, young md pretty, determined
 to try the plan of keeping him in. After