The Dallas weekly herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1885, 1884-03-06
SaIILEOGRAPHS.

The wages OF sin Is death. It 10 strange
that sin does rot strike for higher wages.
There ts q widespread contest over who
shall be the champion light weight grocer
Since an Idaho girl has been Rugged by q
bear, she says her fellow 10 no good.
A Brooklyn woman shot herself under
the table. This being fatal place she died
soon after.
"Oh, yes" said the indignant old lady,
"he IL man who will do most anything
Why. do you know, I've seen him cal
tripe |"
1t is true that ono swallow does not make
q summer, out too many swallows of the
right kind Of stuff often make fall.
~ don't care what the papers cav about
me-" said a much-cri.icsed politician
half the lies they tell about me amt true. u
There 10 difference between the lips of q
young man, and the lips OF young lady
but sometimes 1t is q mighty small one.
Whss is the differences between shooting q
man and killing hog2 One 70 sss.niting
with intent to salt.
Says an experienced bachelor: 1.-THE bes
thing to take when you 20 to kiss q pretty
eiIl-take time. The more you take the
better she likes it,"
"Yes, .ir," said Jinkips, "Smithers is O
man who keeps his word; but chen he has
tor How IL that?" asked jones. BE
cause no one will take it,"
A scientist has at last solved the mystery
of our recent gorgeous sunsets. He says
they are caused by the SUMS trying to set
by the new standard time.
"What q fellow Charley is!' exclaims
Fogg; always 30 practical, you know-nos
particle OF imagination ABOUT him. l be-
lleve the fslow always tells the truth"
Boarding house lady To new 10 dyer
How did you sleep last night, cir" -!
Was very restless, madam, and fear kept
your bugs awake all night"
mo" said the grocer, browns trade
doesn't amount to much. A pretty large
family; but then, yon know, they don't
keep servant"
A Bostonisn has Just been arrested for
marrying dozen wives. He made very
t re universe.
A Chicago woman, the wife OF an editor
of a temperance paper, says that che was
never thoroughly frightened but once. 1t
was whan her husband came 10 ne soGer.
A bill has been presented 10 the state
legislature Ito regulate the manufacture OF
cider. Is this not an unwarrantable inter
fsreuce with the freedom OF the press?
A Joker said to his friend, as he pointed
to blind woodsawyer. Nobody ever saw
that man see." "But thousands have seen
him saw" was the spontaneous reioinder.
"Can brutes tslk2" was the question un-
der debate. II should say they could, my
husband talks" was the reply OF Flat
bush woman who owns no plush or fur
mantle.
"rhere are as good fish in the sea as ever
we're caught" We are more inclined to
believe this after seeing the suckers some of
the girls have been catching since leap
year began.
"Yes,b said noted political trickster,
Ives; 1t lie true that my party has thrown
me overheard. but I'll show 'em that I've
strength to swim tn the other side."
PaDer dinner plates are now IN use. by
and BY" says the Syracuse Herald, "they
will print the news Of the day around the
rim and serve them fresh at every meal"
A Philadelphia organist has been dis
for playing (though very slowly
and solemnly) march from an opera
bouffs. Seventeen deacoDs recognized 1t at
once.
A girl on exhibition at Chicago has ten
fingers on each hand. II she ever gets
married and allows them to toy with the
hair of her husband in the usual marital
way his head is liable to grow bald In
single matinee.
Several Of the states propose to establish
The whipping-post for wife-beaters. 1t
be done. When men become 30
tsstidious 90 to demand public posts to
which to lash their wives while whipping
Them, they should be entirely deprived OF
The healthful amusement.