McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-11-06
LUDiCROUS BLUNDERS
Committed by Newspaper Reporters Not
Quite Up to the Tricks of the Trade.
Detroit Free Press.

CohpeIition among newspaper re-
porters sometimes lead them into WAYS
that are dark and tricks that are vain.
reporter was once sent to report the
sermon of celebrated but very de-
vout and solemn Presbyterian clergy
man. 1t was the funeral Grafton of a
distinguished member of his church.
The reporter did not rise early enough,
and when he arrived at the church the
< clergyman had finished. Waiting up
on him after the service he asked the
loan of the preachers manuscript. The
obliging clergyman took it out of his
overcoat pocket and handed it to the
scribe, who, delighted at his easy task,
wrote hastY introduction, and, with
out further delay, went off to spend
the Sabbath with his best girl. 1t was
funeral discourse, the subject of
which was man well known in the
city for his great piety, sincerity, puri-
ty and benevOlence. Being Sunday,
the discourse got into the printers
hands, and the night editor was horri-
fed at its beginning thus:
among his friends and dupes he ac-
quired by persistent hypocrisy repu-
tation for sanctity, which, by means of
doleful whine and obtrusive cant, he
maintained to his very last breath. So
Tinveterate was his habit that when on
Nhis death-bed his spiritual adviser whis-
pcred that there was pardon for the
vilest sinner, he retorted: 4 am glad
of it; there are so many of them that
need it so much more than do, >" etc.
Had not the editor put his blue pencil
through the whole article the city would
have rung next day with this scandal
Gus discourse about this worthy man.
The obliging clergyman had, accident
ally, on leaving his house, pat on his
sons overcoat, and instead of hissser-
mon had handed the reporter maya
zine article, written by his son, about a
notorious and pious fraud who had died
in England about 100 years before
In another case reporter who was
on trial was told to ''write up Sheri-
dan''-Gen. Phil Sheridan-who was
expected in town the next morning.
Anxious to show how well he could ac-
complish his new task, he resolved to
scoop the other fellows by long
and elaborate biographical notice.
Turning to the cyclopedia, he began to
read about Sheridan, but had scarcely
cast his eye over it when it was ru-
mored that the general had arrived in
the city. Hurrying away to get the
later and local facts about him, he had
to finish his biography without further
aid from the cyclopedia. Doubtless to
Sheridan's great surprise, he learned
from the next mornings paper that he
was an Englishman by birth; before
coming to America he was the proprie-
tor of London theatre, and wrote
1.-The School for Scandal. THE Ri
walls" and other plays. Soon after his
arrival in this country he abandoned
the stage and play writing for mill
tary life. That reporter was given an
indefinite leave of absence.
An overworked reporter was on his
way to fire long distance off when
about the fire. Learning all the de-
tails, as he supposed, he went back to
the Office and wrote vivid description
of the event. In the building, he said,
''was a large quantity of sawdust,"
which only added ferceness TO the
flames. Several blocks were sur.
rounded by the fire, and it was only
with the greatest difficulty that the
flames were subdued, and it was not |
until the building and all its contents
were reduced to ashes" Much to his |
CONSERVATION he discovered next day |
that his friend was a practical Joker, |
and that instead of sawmill, as he |
supposed, it was an ice-houce that was |
on fire.
A reporter was sent to ascertain the |
truth of rumor that a well known |
citizen had gone insane. That report
er's career ended then and there when |
the paper next morning had the follow
ing paragraph: There was a report
yesterday that something was the mat
ter with Mr.. Sanders head. 1t was as
sound as it has always been. There is
nothing in it
A reporter was sent to attend the
funeral of a prominent gentleman. He
arrived at the house, but finding no
signs of the event, concluded he had
come too late. So he thought he
would take his chances and ''write it
up on general principles. 1t so hap
pened, however, that there had been
some mistake about the matter. 1t had
occurred in the morning instead of in
the afternoon, and the clergyman who
attended the funeral was married in
the afternoon to widow, to whom he
had long been engaged. And this was
the kind of notice that was sent after
him on his wedding tour: 1.-THE Rev.
Mr.. Thomaston was present at the ser
vices at the house yesterday afternoon.
There is no man so well adapted to
these solemn occasions. He impressed
every one present with his evident sor-
row and pity for the heart-broken
widow and her afflicted children. He
told them that, although they had lost
their stay and support, there was one
who would still be a father to them.
These words seemed greatly to comfort
them. Even their bereaved mother
could not have failed to be consoled in
her grief by the tenderness of the rev.
l:.>..->le