Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-04-20
THE SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS: SUNDAY, APRIL 20, 1884,

mr.. Jones! MaTmadukel this is some
thing am not to know, l suppose. What
is it all abOutl
Mr.. Culpepper put on his blandest smile.
''0h, YOU know all about it, my dear
madam. l was only referring to your hus-
bands great catch-the big fish that he
hooked at Tenbury."
'|Mr Jones! Tenburyl and a big fish.
Mr.. Jones hasn't hooked a big fish or any
other fish,
Culpepper felt that he had somehow put
his foot IN it. 1t was obvious to him that
for some reason other Mrs. J. had been
kept in ignorance of the big fish, and he
did his best to retrieve his error.
'Didn't he. reallyg Then | must have
7 been mistaken. Some other Jones, perhaps.
It's not an uncommon name"
'No, Mr.. Culpepper! 1t is very good Of
you to endeayor 10 screen him. 1t is a
point OF honor among you men, / believe,
/ to shield each other; but ] am not TO be
so easily put of I can tell YOU. Mr..
PhilpOtts had the particulars from Mr..
Jones' own lips, you said-consequently
it is clear that Mr.. Jones has caught a
fish. though l shouldn't have believed it
Of him J, and that that fish has been con
cealed from me-"
Poor Culpepper looked extremely I'M
comfortable. As for myself-Well, Mr..
kinglake has recorded that the late EN-
perCr Napoleon used to turn pale green
when in the presence of the enemy; never
/ believed the story till that evening, but l
do now"
But, Maria.r | said. lit is nothing to
. make tuss about. 1 assure YOU didn't
no, | mean / did-catch a fish. but it
was quite an accident and it shan't occur
again."
mo, Mr.. Jones, there is a mystery here
which | am determined to fathom. You
have caught tish-a large fish, it seems.
/ Where is that fish: Why did YOU not send
1t TO you once happy home -
Mrs. Jones Scared at me as if she
thought the fish was at that moment
concealed about my person. I believe 1
was about to answer f0rgettul Of its
dimensions that it wasn't worth bring
ing home, or that 1 had eaten it all
myself, when Culpepper came uneXpect-
eddy to the rescue.
81 can relieve your mind on that score,
! Mrs. Jones. Mr.. Jones sent it to his col
| lection at the Fisheries Exhibition"
("GOOd gracious" | thought, "what a liar
the man is, though he means it in kind
ness, no dOubt") IL saw it there myself
Yesterdays
This was the ''lie with a circumstance"
with vengeance, and yet there the man
sat, as cool and collected as if he were re-
peating the multiplication table. How /
[
went on to say:
"Make him take YOU to see it, Mrs.
/ Jones, if he hasn't already done So" he
continued; ''it is really worth seeing.
You'll find it in the second or third
case on the left, just as you enter the
gallery"
He shall take me to the Fisheries Exhi-
bitiOn before he is twenty-four hours old
er," replied Mrs. Jones. Il will get to the
bottom Of this somehow. wish YOU good
evening, gentlemen" and she sailed out of
the room.
"What on earth possessed YOU to sug-
gest that"' / remarked ruefully to Cul-
pepper as the door closed.
every sorry if Pye done any mischief"
he said; II really thought it was the best
thing | could say. L am extremely sorry
l ever introduced the subject; but Of
course | couldn't guess that your wife
didn't approve Of yoGr angling excursions
and that YOU had made a secret of this lit
tie matter She is afraid your hobby
might interfere with business, 1 suppose"
Eyes, that's it," | said, only too glad to
jump at this straw in the way of eXplana-
ton, and Culpepper shortly after took his
leave.
With terror / anticipated the inevitable
explanation with Mrs. Jones: but it
was postponed, for / found she had taken
up her quarters in the spare room for the
night. My hair is not gray, with years or
otherwise, NOR grew il white in a single
night, as men have grown through sudden
fears" But am quite surprised that it
didn't.
The next morning Mrs. Jones came
down to breakfast with her bonnet on.
"Where are you going, my 0ear?" ven
tured mildly to inquire.
Il am going with you, Mr.. Jones, to the
Fisheries Exhibition"
81 Il.
| shame and exposure, but there was no
| help for it. What Mrs. Jones would say.
or do when she found that there was no
! fish of mine at the exhibition | shuddered
! to think.
We reached South Kensington in solemn
/ silence. Ikea condemned criminal just
screwing up his courage for the final at
tentiOns OF the late Mr.. MarwOod, fol-
lowed Mrs. Jones to the "Museum" de-
partment. We entered the gallery; /
glanced, inyOluntarily, to the spot where,
according tOCulEe per'5 account my great
catch ought TO have been. Great heav-
ems! what did l behold A handsome
showcase. surmOunted by the name OF
Marmaduke II. Jones, in large gold let
| tiers, and containing stuffed fish of various
sizes and descriptions the centre object
being monster pike. 1 felt that reason
! was lettering on her throne. Had lreally
caught all that fish and didn't know it!
Was l a sOmnambulist with double ex-
istence, catching fish (and sending them
to the Fisheries Exhibition in my sleep
and forgetting all about it in my waking
hOursy The reyulsiOn Of feeling was TOO
much for mel fell on the floor in dead
faint. How long l so continued | cannot
say, but presently came to myself and
found a small crowd round me, and Mrs.
Jones holding a large and powerful smell
ing-bOttle to my nose. / heard an excited
whisper, That's the gent as ketched all
them fish; he don't look it, do heT' Mrs.
Jones PEI ceived that ! was reyiying; she
said: 1--WE will defer explanations. Mr.
Jones. We had better go home" And we
went home accordingly,in solemn silence,
as we came.
On my arrival / found two letters sent
up from the office, also copy of the IRISH
ina Gazette. The first letter was from my
friend Brown, and ran as follows;
Dear Jones: That pike of yours has
created a regular controversy in the Gazette
! send a copy for your perusal; the most con-
tray opinions prevail as to the way you caught
him. some maintain YOU throw in Thames
style. some in Nottingham. on are report
ed to have used no less than seven different
kinds Of flight, including two that nobody ever
heard Of. Some say your catch was made at
Tcnbury, some at Tutbury, some at Newbury,
and some at Sunbury. on are reported to
have used a gOrge-bait, a live bait. and
spinning bait; and one idiot declares that you
spin with a live bait The funny thing is that
all these statements are said to be made on
your own personal authority. Do, for good
ness sake. drop the editor line and set them
right. Yours ever,
HUMPHREY Brown.
I osrooDod on Il 0ponnd tho othar lattnr II