davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
The Feminine Use of Adjectives

Gentlemen often say that the con-
versational powers of ladies would be
more agreeable with limited use of
adjectives. The exaggerated use of ad-
jectives, says the Hartford Times. is
characteristic only of American women,
Their constant habit of qualifying eV-
erything they see, hear, smell, taste.
or touch by inappropriate superlatives.
is not contracted through ignorance.
1t arises from the ridiculous custom en-
gendered during the giggling period of
their school days. By habitual prao-
tice, it becomes firmly established, fol-
lows them into maturity. debases their
language, and makes them appear far
more silly and frivolous than they real
ly are. 1t is almost impossible for
women to shake off this nonsensical
habit formed in their early youth.
Their exaggeration of language is car
a serious consideration to ordinary OBJ
servers, but also to learned men and
professors. In conversation the other
day, q professor of Trinity. college
gravely inquired: "Why do ladies in
Yariably mar their conversation by the
repeated exclamation perfectly love-
Typ" We do not wonder that he no
ticed it. There is nothing more tire
some during lady's conversation than
to hear the unceasing words perfectly
lovely" At the theatre. parties, we'd
dings, funerals, lectures, prayer-meet-
ings, and in horse-cars, steam-cars,
steamboats,, art galleries, milliners'
and dry-goods shops, or at the dentists,
DOCTORS and dress-maker's, indoors
and outdoors, wherever American wo-
men are gathered together, the inevita-
BILE chorus of perfectly lovely" arises
to arouse the half-contemptuous
amusement of observers. The express
sion perfectly lovely" is beginning to
be perfectly unlovely by its gross mis-
use. 1t has strong rival in the other
also too common expression perfectly
elegant" How American women are
laughed at abroad at the misplaced ex-
pressions of their new-world exagger-
alton and enthusiasm! In nine cases
out of ten, they qualify customs, cathe-
drals, castles, and cows as perfectly
elegant;" palaces, peers, peasants and
pigs as perfectly lovely" or sunsets.
soldiers, sculpture. and sheep as 'per-
fectly stunning" Is 1t any wonder that
it excites ridicule! A year or two ago,
Hartford gentleman who accompa-
MED relative-a young lady-on q
trip up the Hudson river. promised to
give her handsome silk dress if she
would not utter the words perfectly
lovely" once during the journey. We
never heard whether she won the dress.
We presume not.
School-teachers could do much to
remedy this defect. 1t begins in school
days. Then is the time to prevent the
overflow of this bubbling etfusion into
later years. A modification Of adjec-
tives, an Improvement in language.
would be the result. Perhaps it would
become perfectly lovely"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
Sending a "Telegra1."

81 get tired" he continued; 'T'
grow weary of listening to u careful
account of all the circumstances that
induce them to make the great step of
sending a telegram, and of large por-
ton of their personal history. But the;
worst and hardest thing is to make
them understand that we handle sew
eral messages every day, and that theirs
must take its turn with the rest Our
wires are crowded all the time, but the
fellow who telegraphs something unim-
portant, to New York say, can't be
made to comprehend that his dispatch
can't be sent and delivered inside of q
wink. That's tho idea most of them
have of the telegraph. They want to
see it go. If our operating rooms were
not sacred to all save employees, these
once-in-four-year' customers would
overrun them The other day, man
stood right there where you are and
talked to me half an hour by that
clock, explaining why he had sent the
only message he had ever sent in his
life, and in every other sentence asking
where the answer was. In vain ex-
postulated and explained. but he would
not move till they shouldered him
away.
''Then there's the ignorance of these
people, too. Yesterday woman came
in and sent dispatch to her husband
at Rock Island. In she came just nine
times before o'clock to see why he
didn't answer. Finally we got word
from the manages that the man could
not be found at the address given.
tried to make her understand il. and
how do you suppose she took it? Said
sho: i don't believe you sent the mes
sage at all. ! watched the wires and
never seen it go. You took my thirty
cents and gave me nothing, and I'll
send my brother-in-law down to mash
your eye.' And I'm expecting him now
every minute"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
Drifting.

Oh. tho winds were all allowing down, the
blue, blue sky,
And the tide was outward flowing, and the
rushes fitted by.
All the liics seemed to culver
On tho fair and dimpled river,
All tho west was golden red;
We were children four together,
III the pleasant autumn weather,
Aud merriiy down we sped.
Oh. tho town behind US faded in the pale,
pale gray,
And we left the river shaded, and we drifted
down the bay.
Aud across the harbor bar,
Where the hungry breakers arc
You and Grace and Tom and l.
To the Golden Land with laughter,
Where we'd live in peace thereafter,
just beyond the golden sky.
Oh. the winds were chilly growing DER the
gray, gray sea,
While white winged bark came blowing DER
the billows on our Ice,
Cried the skipper, all awouder,
Mercy on usl over yondor-
Bear hand my lads with mo
Four young children all together,
In this pleasant evening weather,
Going adrifting out to seal!
All our prayers were unavailing, all our fond,
fond hopes
For our Golden Land had vanished with its
fair and blooming slopes.
As the skipper. with loud laughter
TOwed our little shallop After
Homewnrd by the dreary bay.
Fast our childish tears were flowing,
Chill the western wind was blowing,
And the gold had turned to gray.
-R. Vinton Blake, in st. Nicholas.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
A Tiger in the Path.

The following extract from a latter
from lady, describing an adventure
she lately met with, appears in the
Madras Mail: 1--WE have been. coming
through dense jungle for the past five
days. some of the scenery really quite
lovely, but three mornings ago Mrs.
M. the ayah, little - and / got an
awful fright. My husband had ridden
on little way in front of US and we
were driving slowly along rough
piece of road. Suddenly the bullock
driver said, "A tiger, tiger l looked
out, and sure enough there was an
enormous tiger walking slowly through
the long grass toward us. When with,
in couple of yards of us. he stood and
stared at us. Little - got awfully
frightened, and cried so, poor little fef-,
low. The bullock man was afraid to-
drive quickly; he behaved so well, and
went on driving quite slowly, and STAR
ing ut the animal When we got on al
few PAGES, to our horror the tiger camei
after US at trot; and just then mY
husband, who knew nothing of this<t
turned round and got off his horse t9
come and take me out of the tonga tod
walk over bad bit of road. He had
only his fowling-piece with him, not
his rifle. When the tonga stopped the
tiger stopped and crouched, and my
husband fired off his fowling-piece, the
only thing we could do to frighten it,
Thank God it had the desired effectJ
the tiger galloped off to the jungles5
and you can imagine our delight ad
seeing the last of the awful creature,'H
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
Sold Out Too Cheap.

II didn't use to believe nothin' in ed
decashun,' said he, as no heaved 81
sigh like the groan,of n sick horse.
MY boy Dan'l he GOT hold Of books
and things ami Eranchod out as II &C
ologist. He got 50 he could talk OF
stratas, and formations. and belts. and
dips, and indicashun5. an one day he
said to me. seq he:
dad, thar's a coal mine on our
land
".How dye know?'
1--we prospected and found indica-
shuns. That hull hill is chuck full Of
coal
land that hull 'tater patch is full
of weeds, seq l.
You see, | sold short on geology
and went long on 'taters, and missed
it. One day a stranger with q sQuint
to his eye cum along and offered me
$500 fur my land, and away she went. "
"And--"
.'Waal, they've taken half milyun
dollars wuth of coal out O. that hill and
hain't reached the middle yet. Dam
was right and vas fule."
"And nowP"
'.Waal, Pm a-drivin' mule team
fur livin', and all the indicashuns
Dan1 can find ar to the effect that
orter be sent to q lunatic asylum. ~
Wall Street Neaos.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
Taking OFF Overcoats.

"Why is it" asked lady. ''that
gentlemen-no, men-persist in wear
ing their overcoats to their seats in the
theaters and then taking them off. to
the immense discomfort of at least four.
people-those on each side and those
before and behind him? A man with
a good vigorous swing to his arms usu-
ally manages to dislodge the bonnet
from the head of the lady beside him,
and the most careful action cannot
save that of the lady in front of him.
To be this lady in front is to have an
experience unparalleled in its annoy
ance. A sudden blow on the back of
the bonnet is the first intimation you
will receive that the man behind is
about to uncase himself. Before you
recover blow on the side of the head
assures you that one sleeve has yielded
up its contents in some way sudden
manner; unless you are unusually
quick motioned you do not avoid u
blow on the other side when he pulls
the coat off from the other arm; all
this, however. might be borne, but
your discontinue is complete when ha
turns square round to hang the coat
upon the back of his chair, thus giving
the unfortunate bonnet another blow
that destroys your good humor for the
evening. Talk of large hats! They
are bubbles of vanity beside the nuis-
ance of a man with an overcoat.'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
A Fortunate Canadian.

There is a pleasing little anecdots IN
connection with the carnival. of .
Frenchman's getting t'rich In day"
a fact almost unparalleled in the his
tory of Province of Quebec Frenchmen.
Baptiste Laporte lives in a story and o
half. gray, slate plastered house near
the Bonsecour market, where he kept
small retail fur store. Here he has
lived for the past fifty years. on the hill
overlooking the old Bonsecour church.
the oldest sacred edifice in Canada.
being built 100 years ago. Baptiste was
poor, for though his furs were always
Of tho best quality and ''the finest in
the world" his establishment was COM
paratively unknown. and consequently
little patronized.
Things went on pretty much the same
for Baptiste for 25 years. He left with
his dog, gun and snow shoes every fall
and returned home in the spring to his
Maria with his toboggan well packed
with precious and valuable fnrs to be
sold for the next season. He generally
did not manage to sell moro than half
his stock out from year to year, but by
an ingenious plan his wife managed to
preserve these furs so that when the
time came for Baptiste to summon up
all his enterprise and attract custom
ers to his shop, they were In as perfect
order as IL he had just stretched them
on his little pine twigs to acnre after
shooting the animals in the bush. Bap-
tiste concluded to stay at home this
winter to enjoy the carnival. He did
not wish to take advantage Of the op-
portunity to make money. like too
many tradespeople, but merely to en-
Joy himself. However, happy thought
struck him and he advertised his furs
in all the local papers.
1t grew very cold day or two after
the opening OF the carnival, and as an
American gentleman said, 1.-THE mercu-
ry having got SO high up in the glass
during the first part of the week that
it almost took two thermometers sphced
together to gauge it. was now to be
found knocking the bottom out of the
concorn." This change persuaded the
American visitors who had come here
unprotected against the frost further
than by 'plug" hat and silk hand
kerchief to Ego in for furs, and Bap-
tisto's was soon found to be the cheap
est place in the city. In two days his
whole stock was sold with the excep-
ton Of half dozen red fox skins and
half as many silver fox skins. the latter
bringing him in the pelt $3.50 for the
lot. Baptiste was yesterday poor
French Canadian furrier. To-day he
is, thanks to the carnival. worth $5O,-
600. He had several daughters who
were always employed evenings MAX
ing up tho furs he brought home.-Bos-
ton Courier.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
Ducking a Bloodhound.

| AS the boat was loading cotton-meal
at Natchez, we saw big bloodhound
come down the street, walk around the
wharf-boat and stretch out in the sun
for nap. The talk at once turned
upon dogs, and then upon this one in
particular.
''That dog" said one of the passen-
gers, ''would no doubt kill any man
whom he attacked"
This was followed by various yarns
in regard to the strength and ferocity
of bloodhounds, and then another pas
senger put in:
'In give any man dozen good
cigars who will 60 out there and wake
that dog up and pat him on the head. "
"a dozen cigars!' echoed another,
''why, man, l wouldn't go out there
and rouse him up for $40 bill" !"
"Humph!' sneered a man who sat
with his feet on the rail little ways
of, and who had come aboard as we
| landed.
'Maybe you want to wake up that
dog!" hotly remarked the $40 man.
II think ! could"
"You do, eh?"
''rll bet you 500 dare fling him
into the river!'
Done! Done quicker than creased
lightning!" shouted tho other, as he
felt for his cash, and in a minute or two
the money was up.
"Now, then. you are to walk down
there. seize him by the collar and fling
him into the river"
''Exactlyr'
And he walked. Without betraying
the least hesitation. he went down the
plank. marched up to the dog, and
taking him by the collar. drew him to
the edge and dumped him of. Tho
dog made no resistance, and speedily
swan around to the bank and trOtted
off up the street.
We all felt completely f1attened out,
and after the stakes were given up and
the winner had disappeared, went
over to the pilot, whose face wore a
broad grin, and asked:
did you see it,"
"Yes."
Didn't the dog have any grit?"
'.Heaps of it; but if you had owned
him for five. years, and had played this
same game fifty times on greenhorns,
he wouldn't bite you, either. r.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

'.Nice child, very nice chiId,''
served an old gentleman, crossing 4
aisle and addressing the mother of
boy who mad just hit him in the
with wad of paper. 'sHow old
you, my sonp" 'None of your b 7
ness" replied the youngster, tax
smiled the old man, as her parent
garded her offspring with pride.
remarkably fine boy. What is you
shouted the youngster, giggling at his
the old man, pleasantly. eff you had
given me three guesses at it, that
would have been the first one / would
have struck on. Now, Puddin'. you
can blow those things pretty straight.
can't youP" "You bet!' squealed tha
boy, delighted Mt the compliment ''See
mo, nor' exclaimed the old gentle
/ was sitting with. She has boys of her
hit the lady for the gentleman. john
nie?" asked the fond parent Johnnie
drew bead and landed the pellet
on the end of the old woman's nose
But she did mind it. and rising in her
wrath, scared down on the small boy
like blizzard. She put him over the
line, reversed him, ran him backward
till he didn't know which end of him
was front, and finally dropped him into
the lap of the scared mother, with a
benediction whereof the purport was
that she'd be back in moment and
skin him alive s'She didn't seem to
like it, Puddin'," smiled the gentle
man, softly. ''She's perfect stranger.
to me. but / understand she is
matron of a truants' home, and I
thought she would like little fun; but
was mistaken and the old gentle
man sighed sweetly rs he went back to
his seat.-1he Jerseyn1an.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

mought ez well give in fust ea last.
Cheer up, old woman!'
sold woman!' shrieked Mrs. Steb-
bins. ..He calls mo old. Have lived
all these long years to have that man
tell me TO my face that I'm old. John
Jacob Stebbins, hate you! l s-e-o-r-n
you! Keep your money! I'm a-goin to
leave you! Yes! I will hev somethin'
new. I'll hev divorce!'
Mrs Stebbins threw her check apron
over her head and sobbed aloud.
"Great Scott!' exclaimed the bewil.
dered man, ''what's to como next!
Hetty, me and your mother never he'd
q rale quarr'l vet, and here sho Is O.
talkin' of divorce and John Jacob o
sassin' me to my face; it's all on ak
kount of that miserable consarned
money. Take the check and send it
back to the unknown fond as sent it;
nary cent of it will tech"
I'm afraid of 1t, pa" said Hetty,
wiping her tears away. Then she began
to examine the check with look of
sudden interest. At last she exclaimed
loudly:
"Why, pa! You never read itr'
Then she laughed; slowly at first,
then louder and harder till she had a
regular fit of Mysteries. Mrs. Stebbins
ran for remedies and Mr.. Stebbins
pounded her on the back. When she
got her breath again she nearly repeat
ed the operation, and each time that
she looked at the check she went into
spasms of laughter.
'It's nothin'," she gasped. with q
reference to the check she held in her
extended hand: ''nothin' in the world
but an advertisement
1.-The fools amt all dead yet," said
the farmer dryly; II might ha' knowed
there was catch somewhere
'1 must set the bread risin'," said
his wife demurely. as she folded her
tent like the Arabs and silently stole
away.
"1've fed the Critters" said John Ja-
cob, Jr., who had been listening at the
door, and now put in shame-faced
appearance.
'Tm thankful escaped livin'
man." said tho farmer, as he tore the
bogus check into q thousand pieces.
"'There's man at the door," said
Hetty. "Why. it's Jim Vance-dear
Jim," and she fastened to welcome
him in
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
No More Advertising for Him.

'.ME. JONES'" said the reporter, 81
saw an advertisement in morning pa
per for the owner of an umbrella left
In your saloon to call and"
''That'll do. IT'S gone. and you'd
better go, too" he suggestively added.
glaring savagely ut the reporter across
tho bar.
''Great Jumping Joseph. will they
never stop eomingr' he asked. turning
to the young man at the end of tho bar.
''You are the fortieth man who has
called here to-day about that misera-
bic old cotton umbrella" he added,
addressing the reporter. '.rhere have
been men here to-day for that umbrel-
la who were never in my place before
lawyers, doctors. politicians, and di-
vinity students. I'll never advertise
another umbrella as long as l live," he
said to the bartender. .-Phil0delpaid
Tr7lape
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
Visitation of Providence.

They were talking of puns. She
said: "When a man made pun he
was always proud of it; but when a
woman made one she had the grace to
bo ashamed of it.
He said: ''Woman was justly asham.
cd of her puns, for they were invari-
ably wretched. A woman could semi
annually make good pun, but she
had to put her whole mind to it, and
sometimes sit up all night to make it
work smoothly, while men could always
mako first class puns offhand.
She said: '.It was no such thing.
She could mako as good a pun on any
word as fast as any horrid man."
"Well," said the skeptical wretch,
"make pun on horseshoe"
If you talk until you're horseshoe
can't convince me-" said the feeble
minded woman.
And he died.-La. Plata (Col. Miner,
'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

A correspondent of the London Elec-
tricton says the following is an instant
remedy for toothache: With u small
piece of zinc and bit of silver (any
silver coin will do), the zinc placed on
one side of the afflicted gum. and tha
silver on the other, by bringing the
edges together the small current OF
electricity generated Immediately and
psinlessly stops the toothaehe. a.s..s
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

A policeman leaned over the area
railing and addressing Bridget, who
was at that moment engaged in shift
ing an ash barrel. observed: Bridget,
me darlint. tho loight av yer Dyes
makes the dawn same loike darkness. "
.sThim's the very wurruds that yer su-
payerior. the sargint, shpoke to me. l
suppoaz it's part OF the discipline av
the fource."
mo, / can't say rs was much i'm
pressed with Miss Strutabout's acting" !"
remarked Brown; ''but then she's q
great actress, you know. Her costumes
lay over anything ever seen ON the
stage; and then. you know, she has
her special car, and it is said that she
doesn't live with her husband. 1t isn't
20 be wondered that the audience went
wild over her"
WHO are that gentleman and lady
across the wayP" asked lady on
Chestnut street this morning. mir.
and Mrs. B. Don't you know themr'
mo. They are bride and groom,
suppose?" ''Oh, NO. They have been
married dozen years or more" els
it possibleP" exclaimed the lady, in
great surprise. ''Why, he lifted hii
sst whaa s. net her. y .-....4,,,- 80, :.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

The Bank of England has floating
balance of 100000, ,00o. and the bank
notes, if stretched together end to end,
would reach distance of II. 520 miles
The Egyptian war will use up . few
miles of this money.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

The alligator hunters of Sabine Pass
are getting ready for the business sea-
son. which will opon with the sunshine
of spring. They 60 out in boats armed
with Winchesters and hooked poles.
and carrying tire-pans for night at
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

New Orleans has taken up the sub
ject of cremation. A society has sever
al hundred members, embracing most
of the physicians and many. lawyers,
merchants. and other business men. =
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
Tho evidence seemed oyerwhelmin

Tho evidence seemed overwhelming
against Edward johnson, q colored
man on trial for burglary in Batavia.
Oaio. His trial had lasted four days,
aud the audience in court thought him
sure to be convicted. He asked per-
mission to speak, and talked for forty
five minutes. He fairly tore to pieces
tho states network of evidence.
plunged most of the jurors in tears,
amazed the Court. captivated the au-
dience, and made speech which the
Cincinnati papers say has no parallel
in rude eloquence since the days OF
Chief Red Jacket. He was acquitted.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17

NYOTARY PUBLIC, Mantua. o. Con-
N veynncinR Collections and Pension Busi-
ness promptly attended TO on the most reasoA
able terms, OlS-LI.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
I. Ell. PHELPS
A. N. FARR,

A TTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT
IN LAW, OMce over Peter Kings Grocery
W est Main st.. Ravenna. Ohio.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-03-15
Voting Precincts.

BY virtue OF the power vested In me by
section rs of the Acts of issa2, do desig
naie the following precincts in and for the
arish of Grant:
Ward 1--Une precinct at the court house
in tie town Of Coliax, to be known aud
designated MS the Coliax precinct and Ole
at OF iirasr A. A. Dean's store, to 10 known
as the Fair,naunt project
Wa.d 2-Une precinct ar Satcber's old
mill OF Grays creek. TO be known ss Br,i-
ce's precinct, and ore precinct ut OF near
Capt. Johnstons Store, TO be Anown as Bag
dad precinct.
Ward 3-t)ne Precinct at roftonbnrg, 10
be known ~ Sstcbel's .srecirct.
Ward 4-One precinct at Dr.. Buckelew's
st,re, to be known us bays Mil precinct
Ward 5-Une precinct al or near chris
tan Starks, 10 he known as Union precinct
Ward IT, One precinct at or ilesr Ffr-
ence landing. to be known AS the Predict.
precinct.
Ward 7-Gne precinct at Montgomery,
to be known a. the MtNttemery precinct.
and oae precinct ut tie latt c.snrch, TO be
known a. the Iatt precinct.
Thus HOFFMAN,
Returning Officer Parish oil Grant
Coifax, La. March 2, 1854.