davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
AN IMPROVED OPPORTUNITY.

On Washington street, the other after
noon, the mass of snow upon the roof of
high building began to slide and fell
in white and smothering cascade upon
the crowded sidewalk. One unfortunate
man was caught by it and completely
buried from sight. Immediately the peo-
pie who had avoided a share in his mis-
fortune rushed to his assistance. One
man CROPPED in the snow and caught him
by the leg; another got purchase on his
arm, and others gripping him by cloth
ing and body, in due time he was brought
to his feet again. He presented sor-
rowful spectacle, however. His hat
looked like a half-infiated concert1na, his
coat was torn, and his collar hung only
by the button on the back of his shirt
and wherever he disclosed a lodging
place for the snow in his raiment or per
son, there the chilling element had estab-
lished itself. He was apparently lifeless.
also, and great crowd collected, with
every manifestation of sympathy. The
stranger soon revived, he sighed and
opened his eyes, the flush of life returned
to his ashen check. He saw the con-
course about him and smiled, opened his
mouth to speak, and as the people
crowded around to hear him. said:
"Ah-h! that was a narrow escape for
me. The perils of winter even in this
temperate zone, are indeed fearful. But
how much more terrible are they in the
frozen regions of the Pole! have here
and he opened a satchel which had sur
vived the shock-"the new book describ-
ing the sutferings and death of the De
Long party, for which l am taking sub
scriptions and which | should be pleased
to sell you at'-but here somebody yelled
that another snow-slde was coming
and the crowd vanished like smoke
Boston Journal.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
TOPNOODY.

Mr. Topnoody was buttoning up his
coat to go downtown Monday night, and
as he closed in with the fire, he remarked
to his wife:
" My dear, this is terribly cold
night"
eyes, Topnoody, quite cold enough
for a seal-skin sack"
"But, my dear, don't think it will
last" he continued, not recognizing the
hint or the interruption.
Ono, l don't think it will. In fact,
Topnoody, l feel quite sure that by next
July there won't be enough frost in the
ground to kill potato bug"
My dear, you are getting to be real
funny, amt you?"
ooh yes, I've been reading the funny
newspapers, and have to do something
to dispcl the gloom"
Il think, my dear, that this is the
coolest weather I ever experienced"
Possibly, Topnoody, but. that is not
my experience"
"No2 Why, my dear, we have always
lived in this neighborhood, and l GER
tainly would remember any colder
weather than this"
uOn care what you remember; L
know what know
"You were never any farther north,
were you2"
ono"
"Then, my dear, I am sure you are
mistaken. have kept a record of the
weather. and l know the temperature of
every day for the past thirty years, and
none is colder than this
"There is one day you haven't re-
corded, Topnoody, but I've got it down
in my mind and have hat it there fresher
every hour since its occurrence"
"And are you sure that it was colder
day than this?n
Yes, | know it."
"Well, I'd like to know what day it
was so | can make a note of it,
1T was the day, Topnoody, that l
married you, and the more l think of it
and of you, the more am convinced that
it was the coolest in my life, and you
know me well enough to know that it is
only on very cold day"
Good evening"" said Topnoody, max
ing a break for the door. Merchant
IldrlZer
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01

bus, and especially to Lieutenant Rhodes, who
twice swan to the steamer and rescued mep
who, were clinging to the rigging
A bill appropriating 80, 10000 for the pay.
ment OF rebate of tax on tobacco was
reported from the committee on appropria.
tons. ... The committee on agriculture pre-.
sented report in favor of establishing de-
partment of agriculture. There was a long
discussion in committee of the whole over
bill authorizing the postmaster-general e.
issue special ten-cent stamp, which,
when attached TO letter i'm
addition TO the regular postage, will in
sure its immediate delivery at a free delivery
Office up to midnight. BY a vote or los TO
1O5 the bill was reported to the House, with
the recommendation that the enacting clause
be stricken out, but pending action on the re.
port the House al iournad.
Mr.. Cook, of Iowa, introduced bill provid-
ing that pensions for total disability shall be
So month, without regard to rank i'm the
service. Three bills appropriating money
for public buildings were favorably re
ported. The first enlarges the appropra-
ton for the Pttsburg building to 81 ,500,-
900, the others appropriate 100000
for building at Chattanooga and
$4,000 for one at Augusta. Me-.
The House recommitted the bill for the
speedy delivery of mails at free delivery
offices up to midnight In committee
of the whole a debate arose on the
bill appropriating 50, 10000 for the
payment OF rebate of taxes on tobac
CO. Mr.. White, of Kentucky, moved to
reduce the appropriation to Si50,0OO
The proposed amendment was rejected, nd
the bill was reported to the House and pass ed
yeas, 30; ray, Mr. White, of Kentucky -.
he House concurre1 in the Senate amend
ment to the Greedy relief resolution. d. Mr.
Blount from the committee on ways and
means reported resolution calling on the
secretary of the treasury for information az
to the number of customs and internal
revenue collection Districts and the cost Of
collecting the internal revenue tax. Adopted
Fun Their debate took place in committee of
the whole on the bill providing for the relief
of General FtL John Porter Messrs. Tay-
or, Payne and Ray spoke in favor of the bill,
and Mr.. Keifer against it. The bill went
over without action
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.

Brother Hamiltonan Smith arose to
make an inquiry. He had often been
asked if it was forbidden in the consti-
tuition or bylaws of the Limekiln club for
a member to hold position under the
State or United States government.
Il should reckon it wasn't" replied
the president as Smith sat down. de
members of dis club kin hold any sort o.
posishun dey kin git, from seliin red
lemonade in de big circus tent to con
ductin de pension buro at Washington.
De only bylaws on de sub jcck am to for
bid de club, as club, from givin bonds
fur de honesty of any member holdin' "A
posishun whar he kin do any stealth. >"
Major Chapultepec Green secured the
floor to inquire if the president intended
to be understood as doubling the honesty
of members of the club That is. If
Waydown Bebcc, for instance, was "A
clerk IN the city treasurer's office and had
a chance to lay his hands upon $40, 600,
would he do it ?
He probably would, sab Dat is, dar'
am so many probabilities dat he would
pocket de money an skip fur Yurrup dat
de club wouldn't 90 on his bond. When
white men all ODER de kentry am daily
scllin' out der reputation fur honesty
fur a few hundred dollars apiece, it
wouldn't be safe to leave a black man
alone wild package countin' up into
de thousands"
Land Officer Baker, chairman of the
committee ON ways and means, reported
that after four months of investigation
and correspondence his committee had
finally secured the services of weather
prophet for the club. They had sent
him a dollar bill for a sample of his
predictions, and he had promptly re
turned the following:
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01

men held it securely, the chair was coin-
pletely shattered In trying TO get away from
them. Another and stouter chair shared
like fate. A heavy bedstead was male to
run across the room twice simply by the lay
ing on of hands,
l sat in a chair She touched it, and
| dumped me on the floor six feet away
All these tricks were repeated several times
and fully convinced me that she possessed
some remarkable power that leave for the
scientists to explain-if they can
did not have time to see her attempt to
move bed 10y getting on it, and simply
commanding it, as that required an hour or
two more time than l had at my DISPOSAL
Neither did she attempt any spirit raining
There is no doubt of one thing, and / mem
ton it briefly for the benefit of those who
may choose to study the matter, and that is
this: Whatever inanimate object she touched
appeared to be charged with force that i'm
pellet it to move, and that, too, most vigor-
ously, and always from her. and with an ir-
resistible force. Her touch has no effect on
animate objects.
Mr.. Hurst and his wife have grown very
enthusiastic over their daughters powers
and propose to take her on the road if She
can make success. She has certainly Gre
ated big sensation in her section of North
Georgia The people are talking of hardly
anything beside the wonderful Lulu. The
splrltualists are beginning to hock to the
scene and TO write to her father and mother
and it may be that a few more weeks will
md her iull-fledgel medium. A gentleman
who IS neither a spiritualist nor scientist sug-
gests that perhaps Miss Lulu's powers were
developed hy the same causes that produced
lhe rosy sunsets, as thcy are contemporan-
eous, and that they will both take their de-
parture together. The negroes in Cellar val
leN are AFRAID of the young lady, and great
alarm has taken possession of MANY Of them,
at will.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
PROMINENT PEOPLE

CoNKLING.-EX-Se Ros .oe Conkling' S
law practice yields him about 100000 an
nualy.
LAIRD.-Congressman Laird, of Nebraska
was only thirteen when he entered the army
in 1852
HENDRICKS. FIX Governor Hendricks. who
is now i'll Paris, writes that his health is
much better than when he left this county
BERGH. 49, Henry Bereh, president of the
New York society for the Prevention OF
Cruelty to Animals, is reported to be worth
S2OOO,OOO.
CAMERON.-Ex- Senator Simon Cameron
has left Hot Springs, Ark, for Mckee. He
is in much b,tier health THAI when he
started on his journey.
FREEMAN.-Miss Alice Freeman. Ph. d.,
the resident of Wellesley col ege, is de-
woman, of great force of character an bril-
liant mental endowinents. She is very popu-
lar with the young lady Students
NALERA.-Senor Don Juan de Valera. the
new spanish minister at Washington. is fiftv
years CT age, with gray hair and mustache.
He has be en- in the diplomatic service since
he was fifteen years OF age He is also dis
tinguished as an author.
BoUDNoT.-Colonel Boudinot, the long
haired Cherokee chief, was an interested
spectator at the Mutt trial. He ACCOMPANIED
Senator VOORHEES, to Pittsburg. He was on
the staff of the Confederate General Price
during the war, and a member Of the last
Confederate congress.
ALLISON limited States Senator Allison.
who is called Lucky Allison, has had a long
legislative career. lie served eight years in
lhe House, then was elected United States
Senator, and has Just been reelected a third
time for term expiring in 1891. At that time
he will have been twenty-Six year, in Con
gress.
JAPAN's RULER .-Mutsohto l., emperor
of Japan, who is now thirty-three years of
age, Is the l23d sovereign of that country.
He has reigned since the death of his father
in lsG7. His is the only dynasty that has
ruled in Japan, and be gan go b. c. There
is no other monarch in the world who can
boast so unbroken descent from so ancient
a stock.
NICToRIA.-Queen Victoria will spend a
considerable part of the spring on the CONT
nent. She goes at first to Baden Baden, and
afterward to Darmstadt to attend the we :
ding of her granddaughter with Prince
Louis Battenburg, The Prince and Princes
of Wales are also expected to be there, after
making q long stay in the Riviera, whittier
they go shortly.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
AN ENSILAGE CONGRESS,
4 Meeting Of Farmers on the Subject
of EnsiIage.

At the third annual congress of farmers
interested in the ensilage system in New
York, over POO agriculturists were present
representing nearly every State east of the
Mis- issippi. DR.. a. $. Heath, of New York
city presided Prof. Miles, of Amherst celege,
delivered an interesting address on the sub
iect of ensilage and the best methods of pre-
serving green fodder He though it should
be placed in the slos slowly, thus allowing
it to become heated This is contrary to the
usual custom and occasioned much debate.
Elder l.. w. +. Evans, known as the head of
the " Shakers declared that the ensilage
system had been used with much success by
his people,
Mr.. John Mayer, superintendent Of T, A.
Havemeyers famous farm at Norwalk,
Conn, said there was twenty-four sll)s on
the farm and that fifty times as many cattle
were kept ON the same ground by the enSllage
sys EN- as before the method was used The
cattle, he said, We're also healthier. 4 reso-
luton was passed requesting the agricultural
department To make an analysis todetermlne
the comparative value Of the qualities OF the
milk from ensiage and ordinary fed cows.
Professor j. L. Edwards, of Randolph, n.
Y, laid that he fed sixty cows on nothing
but ensilage maize, ana hat they gave better
milk and were in better condition than ever
be ore.
Mr., Mayer, on behalf of Mr.. Havemeyer,
invited the congle sS t. visit his farm in Nor
walk and inspect the silo; and cattle A
large number accepted the invitation. The
congress then adjourned for one year.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
February will be soft and mild. and

February will be soft and mild, and
robins and bluebirds will be in great de-
mand. You can take off Your under
shirts and sell the balance of your coal. 4"
" March will come in early and prove
eminently satisfactory. Hurry up your
blowing and plant your peas and cucum-
bers. House-rent will fall at least 81
this month, and the season for getting
trusted at the grocers' will open ten days
earlier than usual"
The chairman stated that the name of
the prophet was Uncle Payson Stubs,
and that he would bind himself to pre-
dict solely for the Limekiln club at a
salary of 81 per month.
On motion of Bombazine Howells the
offer was accepted and it was ordered
that all the fines collected for splitting on
the stove should be turned into the
weather prophet fund Free Press.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
ALL BUSTLE AND -

Colonel Percy Yerger called last week
on the widow Flapjack to negotiate for
temporary board during the season of the
Texas legislature, and upon entering her
residence he found everything in state
OF disorder, preparatory to the expected
influx Of poker experts and statesman
ship.
II see, madam" said Colonel Yerger.
THAT you are all bus.le-n
Sir" interrupted the widow Flap
jack, what do you meanl'
Il notice that at the present moment
you are all hustle"
Colonel Yerger!" shreked the indie-
nant woman, "why do you seek to wrong
and insult lone widow who depends on
her own wits and the generous patronage
of her boarders for a livingl This is, in
deed, cruel. Oh, Potipher Flapiack! Why
did you die and leave me to be tainted
by the pitiless world on my infirmities of
dress and personal appearance!n
Madam, said Colonel Percy Yerrer.
''believe me, nothing was further from
my intentions. | was merely remarkinp
on the common, everyday fact that vou
were all hustle, and
There you go again-insult after in
suit Get out of my house, you monster.
| may be young and unsophisticated. but
can avcngc myself Gitw
"All right, said Colonel Yerger, back
ing down the steps, and falling over Il
slop-pail. You may be young and ten
der as a spring chicken, but assure YOU.
madam, that for all that you are all bus
tie and confusion, and | don't want to
board in such demoralized place, any
way.'-Itras .SytiagS.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
TALES OF THE HUMORISTS.
wAGeIsH STORIES TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
serious CaSe-An Improved Oppor-
tuhty-Au BuStlc-PrOceedings of
the LimekiIn CIub-TOpnoOdy.
A SERIOUS CASE.

a SEhlOOS CASEs
A violent ring at the door and the doc
tor poked his head out of an upper win
dow and demanded:
"Whats wanted"
''For PHYS sake make haste" came
back the answer. "It's a case of life
and death. I'm Mr. Simpson, and you
are wanted at the house Immediately"
The doctor closed the window, and in
about fifteen minutes later sauntered
lelsurely out of the front door and
said:
"Ah, Simpson, your wife has another
fainting spell, l supposed"
No, no; worse than that; it's her lit
tie dog, her pet poodle. He's all rolled
up with cramps
WHAT" shouted the now alarmed
physician, cher pet poodle sick7 This is
indeed serious. If he should die your
wife wouldn't live week"
And the two men dashed madly up the
street.-Philadelpha Gull.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
Married q Rich Wife.

ethel, said the teacher, "whom do
the ancients say supported the world on his
shoulderp "Atlas, sir.n YOU'RE quite
right" said the teacher. "Atlas sup
ported the world. Now who supported
Atlas" 81 suppose, said Ethel, softly
u suppose he married rich wife,
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01

IN New York city 7,S05 signs, ], lOS signs on
drop awnings 53d wooden Indians, 3,a9S ex-
hibts of goods, 1874 show asses, !, 10l stands.
53l coal boxes, and 30 awnings were Ii,
censed to Obstruct the streets last year.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-04
A Poor Mans Wife.


Only ten dollars-no more sir
The wages ! weekly touch,
For labor steady and sore, sir,
1t isn't deal too much;
Your money has wings in the city
And vanishes left and right,
But hand 1t all to Kitty
As sure as Saturday night.
Bless her, my own, my wee,
She's better than gold to me!
We live in n reeking court, sir.
with roguery, drink and woe;
But Kitty has never thought, sir,
That isn't as white as snow
Sine hasn't a thought or feeling
An angel would blush TO meet!
love to think of her kneeling
And praying for me so sweet.
Bless her, my own, my wee,
She's better than gold to me!
must be honest and simple,
must be manly and true,
Or how could pinch her dimple.
Or gaze In her frank eyes blue
feel, not anger, but pity,
When workmates go to the bad
say, "They've never Kitty
They'd all keep square If they had"
Bless her, my own, my wee,
She's better than gold to mel
All, the day she stood at the altar,
Modest, and white, and still,
And forth from her lips did falter
The beautiful. low, ~ Will"
Our home has been bright and pretty
As ever poor mans may,
And my soft little dove, my Kitty,
Shall nest In my heart for aye.
Bless her, my own, my wee,
She's better than gold TO me!
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-04
PERSONAL.

Items Cleaned from the Hotel Corridors and
Various other Sources.
C.P. Evans. manager Of Kings ranch,
Is at the Central.
Colonel Prouty returned home from
Eagle Pass yesterday.
w. X. Jones, Esq, of Del Rio, Is So
journing at the Central.
Mrs. w. II. Gillespie left for Clinton,
Illinois, to reioin her husband
Judge Lewis and Colonel J. II. Nc
Leary went to San Marcos to-day.
Harry Baum and A. j. Clark have
gone TO Chicago to take In the conven-
tion.
r.. Hendricks, adjuster for Leon II.
Blum, of Galveston, came In this
morning.
DR.. L. De Leon and Mr.. Afrido Don
dois, of Parras, Mexico, are guests at
the st. Leonard.
Mr.. II. Marsland and Mr.. l.. Lavalle
came down from Boerne this morning,
and have rooms at the st. Leonard.
Mr. Ruokman, a prominent merchant
Of Helena, accompanied by his wife and
Mrs. Butler, has rooms at the Menger
+. NJ. House, the banker of Houston. is
stopping with his family at the Menger.
Mrs. Hunter, of the same place, is with
the party.
Charles Downie, n well known sheep
man, of Preside county, Is In the city
on his way to the State Woolgrowers'
association at Taylor.
Captain King, Of Kings ranch, the
great cattle man, is in the city and stays
Mt the Menger. The Captain has just
completed the fencing of new pasture,
consisting of $50, 900 acres.
Captain II. c. Tardy, of Del Rio,
accompanied by his family arrived in the
city this morning, en- route for an ex-
tended tour through the Northwestern
States and Territories. lie has rooms at
the Central,
Mr.. W. ID. Johnson and his wife are
sojourning in the city. Mr.. johnson Is
County Judge of Jefferson county and a
prominent citizen of Pine Bluff, Arkan-
sas. lie Is on visit to his niece, Mrs.
Ramsay, and has serious thoughts of
permanently locating here.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-04

A traveller just from the South reports
the following: On one of the South
ern railroads there is station called
sawyer" Lately a newly married
couple boarded the train, and were very
loving indeed. The brakeman noticed
the gushing groom kiss the bride about
40 times, but maintained serene quiet.
Finally, the station in question was
reached, and just after the whistle
sounded the groom gave the bride a
rousing smack on the lin and the brake
man opened the door and shouted:
Sawyer Sawyer!"
whats that?" responded the groom
looking over his shoulder at the brake
man.
sawyer" replied the brakeman.
well, don't care d. If you did
she's my wife."-[Merchan Traveller.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-04

Mr.. Wilson went into Kalteyer's drug
store this morning and ordered a large
dose of morphine. This Mr.. Wilson
took while yet at Messrs. Kalteyer's, and
the drug overpowered him. Thinking
at first that the man intended to commit
suicide, the police were sent for and
remedies were promptly got ready to
administer. In the meanwhile, however,
Mr.. Wilson recovered and walked out
into the street unassisted. 1t appears
that Mr.. Wilson is in the habit of taking
morphine, and therefore the dose will
not effect his constitution so materially
as one unaocustomed to the use of that
drug.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-04

The San Antonio Rifles met last night
at the Southern hotel obout . o'clock,
Mr.. c. NJ. Granger, the Captain, in the
chair. The meeting was for the pur-
pose Of reading and discussing the Con-
stitution and Bylaws, which were
unanimously adopted. A committee
was appointed to look for a suitable hall,
and the Company will soon be provided
with arms and uniforms. The members
Of the San Antonio Rifles will act indie
pendently of outsiders, though any help
extended them by citizens will be CRATE
fully received.
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-04

A good man once said: "The longer
live the importance of adhering to the
following rules, which | laid down myself
in relation to such matters, are more
manifest"
/. To hear as little as possible what is
to the prejudice of others.
2. 10 believe nothing of the kind till |
am absolutely forced to 1t.
g. Never drink in the spirit Of one who
clrculates an i'll report.
!. Always moderate, as far as can,
the unkindness which is expressed to-
ward others.
D. Always to believe that If the other
side was heard n very different account
would be given
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-04
LIGHT FLASHES.

what the Reporters Learned on Their Tour
Through the City.
The First Baptist church conference
meets tonight, when important ques-
tions as to the pastorship will arise.
One building permit was issued this
morning to w. Mckinney for a lumber
dwelling, HIPS, west side Comal street,
$500.
There are over one hundred candi-
dates who are willing to serve the peo-
pie in an office, but each one is holding
off waiting for someone TO make the
start