davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19

A large stock of Gentlemen's Cuff Buttons very aes;roh1o
Goods, at half price. wy N""".e
These are not a 1.-THE of what we have to almost oiva a.
We will be glad to have everybody call and look tironoht y
STOCK. I'm, we Will take great pains to please you, and We know
you will be benefited by buying some of the Bargains.
Respectfully,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19
we MENTION A FEW Of THE DRIVES WE ARE oFI

1 piece 42inch Albatross Cloth, all wool, NAVY Blne q 6na
fall and winter Goods, worth 75c, for 81 1-2c.
piece, same Goods, Myrtle Green. for 81 12c.
piece, same Goods, Ok Blood, for 81 12c.
= Fine India Linen, Lace Trimmed, Robes, worth SIS for 80
300 yards beautiful Linen Lawns, all linen and vary S.ovn
worth 4Oc, for 25c. "'"'1'
1G &c. ' A"1 A"0"' "or'nS oc' 'f
81 so. ""'" "~' W
% dozen All Linen Plaid Napkins, worth 75c. for 4Oc
"A very superior line of Parasols, in very fine Goods. at an
sacrifice.
600 uards Whito P;ona na.aa -...l IL
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19
ASSIG NEE,S NOTICE.


N the matter of John T.. Bascom, assignee o1
lJohn Geck:i Will on the Both day of July. 1881.
pay u first ami hnai dividend of two and dy,.-
tenths (2.5) per cent on allowances against said
Geek 5 estate. ilNl JOHN T. EASC0M
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19

Blaine's record will damn him.-G-D
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19

Cleveland has ne tattoo marks.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19
MORE GOOD GOOD
MORE SPECIAL DRIVES.
BARGAINS, &C..

than were ever before offered to the people of this community bv
any house in our line of business. Our Entire Stock ia Oasrsya
in this Sale without Reserve.
You will be thunderstruck when you see what we are DOING
and will wonder how we can afford it, and when wa show ~
yon will know it as "easy as the boy knew his dad"
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19

NoIlCE ID hereby given to all persons inter-
~ ested In the estate OF Calvin X Fox, deceased,
thal me Undersigned, executors will apply
TO make u final settlement of said estate vi
The August term. 1854, OF the Probate court Of
Lafayette county, Missouri, to. be begun and
hriu NJ The Probate court room. in the city
oil Lexington, on the second Monday in August.
1881 Jersey r.. FOX.
Jbl9t5 CHAS. Il. ANDERSON,
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19
OTHER DISCOVERIES,

From the summit of Mount Arthur,
5000 icct in height. The contour of
the land west ofthe Conger mountain
convinced Inc that Grinnell land tends
directly south from Lieutenant AL
drich's tarthest reach in 1876.
In 1888 Lieutenant Lockwood and
Sergeant Brainard succeeded in eros
sing Grinnell land, and ninety miles
from Beanting bay, at the head of
Archer's ford struck the head of a ford
from the Western sea temporarily nam
ed by Lockwood Grccly's ford, from
the center of the ford, in latitude so
%rlinutcs and 30 seconds, and longitude
- minutes and 80 seconds. Lieutenant
Lockwood said the northern shore came
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-19

Tattoo Ta-ta.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09

A half hour from Nice is Monte
Carlo, the capital of Monaco, the
smallest kingdom in the world. Monte
Carlo may be safely said to be the near
est approach to hell of any place on
this terrestrial sphere. The entire
kingdom is only two miles square, a
little patch perched upon mountains
and running down, or rather plunging
down to the sea.
1t is the most beautiful on earth. 1t
has the broad sea in front of it, I'M
broken by land till it strikes the Afri-
can coast. 1T is protected in the rear
and on both sides by high mountains,
and enjoys perpetual summer. The
orange trees are in perpetual bearing,
twelve regular crops year being
gathered. Vegetation is always bright
and green. There is no such climate
in Europe, and no place anywhere that
nature has done so much for.
This pocket kingdom is the property
of one family, the Grimaldis, who were
made lords of Monaco in 96S, and they
have held it ever since. The house is
now represented by Prince Charles, a
portly old man who is totally blind.
Really it is part of the French Re-
public. France holds its custom house
and postal arrangements, but for some
reason it has been left in the possession
of the hereditary Prince, who governs
it absolutely. 1t has courts, but APP
peals are heard in Paris, and really it
is governed by France.
OF course it has an army; no prince
could exist without an army. The mill
tary power of Monaco is composed OF
seventy men, two-thirds of them being
officers, and the rest doing duty as
policemen. However, it is a regular
army, with a Commissary and Subsist-
ence Department, and everything reg
ular, Just the same.as that of the En-
peror of Germany.
The family have something of repu-
tation for military skill, and have in
their day made their mark, but the pres
ent Prince is not hungering after mill
tary reputation. He lives in Il gorgeous
palace and drives magnificent horses.
and lives like a King, which he is, in
name.
The revenues of Monaco are all derived
from gambling at Monte Carlo. Monte
Carlo is to Europe what Badcn-Baden
used to be till the German people became
ashamed of deriving revenue openly
from vice, and suppressed gaming.-D
Il. Locke, IN Toledo BtdCie.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09
Thought il Didn't Look Right.

A cobbler's sign in q neighboring
town bore the announcement, ''Shoes
half sold seventy-tiye cents. A pass
ing drummer observing the omission
of the in soled, stepped in and thus
addressed the artisan:
"Youadvertise shoes half sold here?"
Eyes, sir"
"Well, | would like to understand
what YOU mean, whether you sell half
of shoe or half of a pair for seventy
five cents, or whether you have a lot
half of which you want to sell. It's
the most ambiguous advertisement !
ever saw"
The cobbler scratched his head and
looked up over his spectacles in sur
prise at the drummer After a pause
he asked:
Cant you understand by the sign
that | put half soles on shoes for seven
ty-five cents?"
No, SIR replied the drummer, ~
can't understand any such thing from
your sign. You have left an out OF
the word sold and as it stands now it
means to sell, or already sold.'
The cobbler smote his hand upon his
knee and said:
''By iinks / thought that the word
sold didn't look Just right. l Thought
it wanted an e. Thank you, sir, for
calling attention to it,
After the drummer's departure the
cobbler went outside with brush and
added an to the word, making il
ISOLDE. "-iSomerUille Journal.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09
Not UD on Science.

He sat by the stove in Michigan
avenue grocery store for full twenty
minutes before speaking. He spread
out his legs to encircle as much of the
fire as possible, drew his sleeve across
his nose at regular intervals, and there
was strong smell of burning boot
leather as he finally looked up at the
grocer and asked:
''Can you tell me why combustion
causes draught ?''
"No, sirr' was the prompt reply.
sits positively wonderful how ignor-
ant the masses are on scientific sub
jects," continued the man as he helped
himself to an apple. Can you tell me
why this isinglass in your stove is not
consumed by the heatP'
81 guess it's because you keep all the
heat off ~ was the sneering reply.
You are liar, sir, and you say that
to excuse your ignorance! Now, then,
what pressure does water exert on the
human body at a depth of sixty feet?"
''Ill exert a pressure on your body
if you call me liar again. exclaimed
the grocer "What do you want here?"
Il want to ask if you understand the
principle by which birds fly"
You get out of this have no
time to fool away with such nonsense
"Nonsensem piped the old chap
''why, l don't believe you know the
amount of oxygen you consume at each
respiration"
The grocer lay hold of the man to
draw him to the door, but he caught a
Tartar and was Topped on his back
81 exerted force of about one
eighth horse power to accomplish that, "
said the old man as he knelt on the
PROSTATE body. "a dead blow Of TWEEN
ty pounds from my fist would iatten
your nose, while two pounds additional
would crack your skull.
''Git OIL me or L ii Stay you.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09
Commodore Perry.

Commodore Oliver II. Perry, to whose
memory monument will be erected in
Newport, r. l. (his native place., died
in 1919, when Queen Victoria was three
months old and Abraham Lincoln in his
eleventh year Perry was but twenty
seven when he achieved his famous
naval victory on Lake Erie, for which
Congress awarded him a gold medal
and promoted him in rank. Mr.. George
G. Claiming once wrote of him as fol-
lows !. ''In youth and in ripper years
Oliver ii. Perry was noted for pers onal
beauty and precocious manliness. He
was one of the handsomest boys in
town. His beauty was after the simili-
tude of David, when Jesse presented
him to the great prophet of Israel, viz. !:
Now, he was rudy and withal of a
beautiful countenance and goodly to
look to-. His department in early man
hood was indicative of that tirmness
and resolution which, in later years,
forced the flag of England TO strike to
the stars and stripes In 1919 Perry
commanded fleet which sailed TO CO.
lombia and assembled the Orinoco river
While returning he died of yellow fever
at Port of Spain, Trinidad, when thirty
four years old. A marble statue of
Oliver IL. Perry was erected at Cleve-
land, o., in 1860. The ninety cent
stamp bears the head of Perry, but this
of couse is seldom seen by majority
of the people. 1t is fine outline of
face and head CtGsa0 JO1tTn1!.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09
An Intelligent Dog.

81 thought you said that dog knew
his business?" said a metropolitan
youth who had been out after ducks
and had hired the dog to assist him"
$50 | did," was the reply; "there
isn't better bird dog in this part of
the country"
Hes the worst mongrel ever saw, "
continued the youth. why, hadn't
been out more than half an hour before
he left me in the lurch."
"What did he do?" asked the man.
"Why, the first duck ! saw was
perched on a fence, and, through some
trouble with the gun, | fired ut it seven
times without hitting it, and every time
| fired the blasted animal would set up
long howl. After the seventh shot,
and Just as was getting sure sight
on the bird, what does the miserable
cur do but tear a piece out of my pan.
falcons, and with his tail between his
legs start on dead run for home. DO
you call that dog that knows his own
busnessPh
Eyes, replied the owner of the in
telligent animal, pattjng him on the
head. 81 dn,".-Miiadehhia Gull.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09

scientiousness of her own under all her
prejudices.
''She's right, said John Field. "Stay
with us, pet, and you shall see that we
know how to appreciate you as you de-
serve"
SO Mrs. John Field STAYED, the head
of an efficient establishment of stout
servant girls, who officiated as hands to
her own active brain, and no place in
the neighborhood tlourished more than
Hazelnut Farm.
Its extrayagance-ridicu ex-
travagancer exclaimed Will. Field,
when he heard of his brothers new adj
ministration of affairs.
"We'll see how the bills add up at
the end of the year," said John,
quietly.
And at the years end viii. was I'M
:ble to imagine how it was that his
brothers account had swelled to near
ly third more than his own.
eve have lived much more econom-
ically than YOU" said he. "We have
kept no lazy, wasteful, Sinking
"Ah!" said Clara, "but you didn't
count the Doctors bills while poor Alice
lay sick so long with rheumatic fever,
brought on by scrubbing her cellar floors
herself, nor the expenses of the nurse
who took care of her. To be sure, lit
tie Alice and Jane did the work of the
house between them while their mother
was i'll, but neither of them will be
strong for a year, so heavy was the
strain. And next year you will prob
ably have undertakers' bills to pay into
the bargain"
''No l WON'T" said Will, resolutely
I'm try Johns way, and see if it will
brighten Alice and the children up q
little. -"
"Call it Clara's way" said John
Field, laughing; ''for she is the origi-
nator of the whole thing"
''It's a sensible way, anyhow" said
Will, ''whoSever it may be-
For Clara had converted them both.
N. Y Ledqer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09
CLARA'S WAY;
Or, a Declaration of Independence.

VI Il Ol hHutpthUcnCPs
Hazelnut Farm was at its prettiest
when Clara Field came to live there
The old house, with its square, old
fashioned porch, vine-covered gable
ends and newly-painted green blinds,
glimmered white through the emerald
freshness of the maple trees; the grass
was purpled all over with wild viOiets,
and the dim old woods on the noun
tain side were embroidered with a
thousand flowers. And the pretty
young bride, standing on the rustic
bridge that spanned the brook, with
tufts of lilies on her breast, looked up
at the rising moon and drew long
sigh of eontentment.
20, John, how beautiful this Isl"
she said, softly. GLOW happy we shall
be. We can walk in the woods and
gather wild flowers and ferns, and we
can row on the river, and have readings
on the lawn, and sketch all these ex-
quisite bits of scenery, and life will be
like beautiful dream"
John Field whistled rather dubi-
ously.
''Of course it will. my DEAR" said he
"And I'm glad YOU like the old place
But | rather think there'll be something
to do besides read and row and sketch. :"
The next morning, when Clara came
down to breakfast in q white bunting
dress, with cherry ribbon bars all over
it, Aunt Keziah looked at her in owl
eyed surprise.
"My DEAR" said she, eff you and
John expect to get on in the world
you'll have to keep earlier hours than
this"
why, Aunt Keziah, its only seven
clock, said Clara, artlessly glancing
up at the clock.
"Humphr' remarked Aunt Keziah,
as she placed the broiled ham on the
table, each slice surmounted by the
golden disk of delicious fried egg.
Johns brother William, lives on the
next farm, and his wife has been up
since daybreak, I'll go bail"
"Since daybreak?" echoed Clara
"Why, what can she possibly find to
busy herself WITH"
"Just exactly what you ought to busy
yourSeLfwith, " said Aunt Keziah, taking
pan of buttermilk biscuits out of the
oven, and filling the crooked handled
little pitcher with thick, clotted cream
"a farmers wife can't sit down and
fold her hands, unless she wants to
ruin her husband outright"
Clara looked piteously at Aunt Kezi-
abs memorable face, but she asked no
more questions. After breakfast, how
ever, she put on her little gypsy hat,
with its dropping brim and its wreath
of daisies. fA4
John" she said to her husband, who
was busy giving directions to his farm
hands. al am going across the mead
ow to see Wits wife.
John looked at his young bride rather
doubtlully.
''Are you, pet?" said he. Don't
you think it would be a good idea to
help Aunt kcziah in thepantry?'
Clara laughed and shook her head
"Sha is all tied up in pocket-hand-
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09

A typical cowboy, fresh from his
herd. went into Elitch's chop house last
night. The tables were all filed with
OF the plains seated himself. As he
took off his hat and united the red ban
dana handkerchief from around his
throat, he lookedi disdainfully around.
The nimble waiter brushed an imagi-
nary bread crumb from the cloth,
whisked bill of fare from the castor
and placed it before the festive and I'M
tanned youth.
Take it awayr' he snarled, | can't
eat that. wantrattlesnake on toast!'
'Rattlesnake on toastn' yelled the
waiter.
"Rattlesnake on toastn' responded
the cook.
There was slight futter among
the guests at the strange order, and the
cowboy was scanned by many curious
eyes.
He looked little disconnected at
having his order Sc promptly taken,
and glanced furtively toward the front
OF the house. He saw the cooks and
walters engaged in filling orders, and
looking as solemn as graveyards after
midnight.
He assumed nonchalant air and
! picked his teeth with fork.
Acook deity removed the skin from a
pickerel, and cutting strip the proper
shape placed it in a spider.
], The waiter who had taken the order
sCame ripping back to the bold bucca-
neer OF the pampas.
win you have your snake well
done or rare?"
Rare, with coolies of milk gravy on
"Gimne that snake rare--milk gravy
on the side" was hallOoed to the cook
SNAKE rare; milk gravy-side, >
cook shouted back
''Sayn' slid the bovine steerer. as the
waiter passed him, IN take it well
done"
"Make it veil done"
"Make it we'll done" was answered
back.
The lariat wrestler began to grow
nervous. The devil-may-care express
ion had left his eyes, and a soft, sub
| duOb, hlClobSlNlN SIlddC hiu Jdhtn lis
place. He tidgeted in his chair anC
seemed to be nerving himself for an or,
deal.
''Here you are, sir" said the Gull
nary Ganymede, placing dish il
which was something nicely coiled
which looked like q fried specimen
of the genus crotalus. 'Have little
Worcester sauce? Gives very fine
flavor. Some folks like mushroom,
with their snakes. Others prefer Chill
colorow. A little salad dressing don
go bad, Thcre's vinegar and olive OF
in the castor. Win you have tea ol
coffee? Very fine snake. Caught yes
terday. Fat and tender"
When the waiter was delivering him
self of this eulogy on the meal, the stee
puncher showed his chair back. Hi
eyes bulged out and he became pal,
around the gills.
81 don't think I'll eat anything.
amt hungry" he said, as he rose un
steadily to his feet and reached for hi
hat.
Maybe you'd prefer Drilled moe
casin, insinuatingly suggested thu
waiter
NO" he replied, as the ashen PABLO
deepened on his face. II ain bi
hungry" He cast another glance a
the dish he had ordered, and made ;
break for the door. He forgot to ''pa,
at the counter - Cheyenne Sun.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09

There is said to be haunted house
in Silver Street, San Francisco, occu-
pied bya man named Roberts He
says the doors are opened by unseen
hands. the lights are suddenly extin-
gushed in one of the rooms, picture
frames move on their hangings, there
is loud knocking on the walls, and the
piano plays shall we gather at the
river?" in the still hours of the night
-Chic00o Herald.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09
4 BALLAD OF THE SEVEN
TENTH CENTURX.
THE DUMB MAID;
OR, THE

Il - ~ 4 IL SLSAN l. - II
THE DUMB MAID;
OR, THE
YOUNG GALLANT TRAPAN'D.
A young man did untolThe Doctors skill wa
her wooing come. likewise with he
But she pretended try'd;
much that she was The Doctor he set he
dumb. Tongue on the rul
But whenthey both in She Chatters now, an
marriage bund were never will have dom
ty'd,
To New Tune, calrd "Dum, dunn, dunn; O
would | were in my own Country" etc.
License and Enter'd according to order.
All you that pass along,
Give ear INTO my song,
Conce. ming youth
that was young. young, young;
And of a Maiden fair
Few with her might compare,
But alnck, and alas, she
lcdS dumb, dumb, dumb,
She was beauteous, fresh and gay
Like the pleasant flowers in May,
And her cheeks were as round
as plum, plum, plum;
She was neat in every part,
And she stole away his heart
But alack, and alas, she
DGS dumb, danlb, dumb.
AT length this Country Blade
Welded this pretty Maid,
And he kindly conducted
her home, home, home,
Thus in her Beauty bright
Lay his whole Delight,
But alack, and alas, she
tpdS dumb dumb, dumb.
Now will plainly show
What work this Maid could do,
Which a pattern may be
for girls young, young, young.
q she both day and night
In working took delight
But alack and alas, she
GCds dumb, dumb, dumb,
She could brew and she could bake
She could wash, wiring and shake,
She could sweep the house
with broom, broom, broom;
She could knit and sew and spin,
And could do any such like thing,
But alack, and alas, she
GUdS dumb, dumb, dumb.
But alas this man did 90,
The Doctors skill to know,
Saying: Sir, can you cure
Il Woman of the Dumb?
o it is the easiest part
That belongs TO my Art,
For to cure Woman
of the dumb, dumb, dumb.
Tothe Doctor he did her bring,
And he cut her Chattering-string,
And he set her Tongue on
the run, run, run.
In the morning he did rise
And she filed his house with cries,
And she ratified in his ears
like drum, drum, drum.
To the Doctor he did go
With his heart well till'd with woe
Crying, Doctor, am
undOne, done, done.
Now she's tlIrn'd a Scolding Wife,
And I'm weary Of my life,
Now cannot make her hold
her tongue, tongue, tongue.
The Doctor thus did say:
When she went from me away
She was perfectly cured of
the dumb, dumb. dumb.
But it's beyond the Art of Man,
Let him do the best he can,
For to make a Seeding Woman
hold her tongue, tongue, tongue.
So as you TO me came
Return you back again
And take you the Oyl
of Hazel strong;
With it anoint her body round,
When she makes the House to sound,
So perhaps you may charm her
tongue. tongue, tongue.
John Ashton, Hltmor, Wit aud Satire of h
Seventeenth Century.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-02-09

Fifty tame ducks were recently re-
moved in a close box from Short Beach
to Babylon, l.. |. The next morning
they were found at their old home on
the beach, waiting to be fed. As theh
wings were clipped they must have
swan the entire distance, nearly nine
miles, in a heavy sea and onAa dark
night ~ \. SIN.
The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1884-12-11
NOTICE.
rs
Of Proposed Meeting Of the Stock
men of the Little Missouri.

Of Proposed Meeting Of the Stock
men of the Little Missouri.
At the request Of Messrs. Huidekooper,
Wadsworth, Eaton, Truscott, the N. P. R.
C. Co. and of several other stockmen
having ranges Oh the Little Missouri
and Beaver Greek, "a meeting Of the
stockmen of this river and its tributaries
is hereby called to be held in Roberts
Hall, Medora at IL a. "a. Friday December
10th. The object is to bring together
the cattlemen of this vicinity in order
that they may discuss certain questions
Of immediate and pressing interest to
them, and in order that they may take
measures to provide for more efficient
organization of the stockmen of this
vicinity in the future. both so that they
may be able to act more as unit than
has been the case in the, past, and 20
that they can combine to protect their
interests against unjust interference
from the outside. 55;2 5.gil
All gentlemen interested a In stock
raising both those on the Little Missouri,
and those on the neighboSing waters, are
urgently requested to attend.
by request. s5
-ssss,s& THEODORE ROOSEVELT.
The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1884-12-11

The notice for q meeting Of the cattle
men Of this district, which we pub
lish for the second tinie; should at
tract the attention of every man on
and in the neighborhood Of the river
who is interested insstock. Tile reasons
are SO manifest that an organization
should be formed, that; thera is no leed
of enlarging on them. It is imperative
above all things that the cattle men
should be- united to be successful in
movements for their good. Anumber 81
points will come up for action Ut the
meeting Of December 10, and it is i'm
portant that every cattle man in this
district attend, as each should have
voice in the decisions Should there be
only a partial attendance or should tile
interest bo half-hearted the effort to or
ganize will be useless. Unanimous and
united action will be of incalculable
benefit to our stock men. 35!s 5ssssg525r !s.g.