Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-03
BRIGHT BITS.

a NEIGH-BoB: The shake of horse's tail.
THE charity bawl: Crying over the sorrows
Of Others.-N. o. Pic.
s'IM locked in slamber," murmurs the
prison bird in his sleep.-N.Y. com. -Ado.
Soap don't cost as much as diamonds. but
lots o. people don't seem to be able to afford
both.
ALL the, invitations, cards OF counts. sou
yenirs, and the like, sent to young lady an,
kept in sight on the sent her table.
CELIA" wants to know if we can tell her
what the knights of the Bath are? Usually
Saturday nights, Observation-Disclosures Free
Press.
A Man that needs 40 cents worth of
whisky to give him an appetite for q Is cents
dinner always has the dyspepsia.-CIsUeLaad
Sentinel
A POET heads an cffusion, lode to a Girl
with Red Hair" This is serious matter.
If we owed anything to a red-headed girl we
would hustle around to pay it without delay.
Mr.. Doh YES? l was a table boardcr
there before ] was married" Mrs. D.-'What
does table board mean?" Mr. Dwell. at
her house it means board that is pretty much
all table. '-EschqnJe.
Two women were married to each other in
Virginia recently. 1t may be all right for the
present, but after a whlle-thlnk OF 1.-THE
children will each have two mothers and no
father.-heatucky State Journal
\ BROOKLYN girl who lost her hand in a
factory recovered $500 damages, while a
woman who lost her head at fire was paid
nothing. The reason the hands were valued
so highly was probably that they couldn't talk.
81 THINK" said Marathon man, ''that our
fOrefathers made great mistake in having
the extra day in leap year come in February,
which is one of our most disagreeable months.
They should have located 1t IN June, when
DAYS are very rare. ''-4drdthon Independent.
A LAWYER pleading before Sir J. Byles, re-
Gently deceased, said; 81 would refer your
lordship to a work in my hands-'Byles on
Bills" sHas the learned author given any
authority for his dietum? If net l would not
heed him. l know him WE'LL interrupted the
Judge.
A TALL, gaunt, fearfully ugly Southern girl
is said 60 possess such wonderful mesmcrc
power that no person is able to break the in
iuence, hut all are compelled to obey her I'M
til she Y5faBtarily wakes them from the spell.
Let us tsF4ty that she won't become a book
agent F7sitadelphid CAL.
BIBBIoPHILE-"Butt this book bears date
nrior to the invention of printing" Dealer
in rare old books-"SO much the more valua-
ble sir; so much the more valuable. 1t is
preOf of its antiquity. 1t was only after the
invention of printing, yon know, that 1t was
possible to counterfeit old volumes. "-Boston
| transcript.
PROF. HUXLEY declares that in his voyage
around the world, and in all his studies Of
| savage life, he found no people so miserable,
wretched and degraded as those who exist in
Il
| a little singular, considering that we never
| hear of collections being taken up in our
! churches to send missionaries to London.
ABOUT a month ago Tom Keene performed
in Austin as "Richard the Third Among
| the audience were several members OF the
/ Texas Legislature. When Orchard" eX-
| claimed "a horse! a horse! My kingdom for
a horse" the SOlOns nudged each other and
/ whispered, That's an old joke. pve heard
that one before. "-1esus Siftings.
sWHAT's your impression of Texas ?" said
! a traveller to his fellow passenger on a south
western bound train. ITS a great place for
/ life insurance clerks 81 don't understand
/ YOU" "Why, they're sure Of pretty steady
| employment" explain yourself ''If one
! is discharged, he shoots policy holder or two
! and the company Is glad to take him back
/ again."
A CITY shook" farmer who read about the
| large profits made on 'oyster planting
| grounds" purchased several acres last season
| and planted couple hundred bushels of the
! bivalves. The crop was total failure, and
/ he thinks maybe he ploWed too deep or the
/ man who sold him the seed oysters was a
| swindler. 1t does look little that way
NOrristOl0n Herald.
THE Boston Advertiser relates that, at a re-
cent representation of "Princess Ida" in that
| city, prominent lawyer entered the museum
| lobby, when a small and very ragged urchin
! said to him: GLOW much does it cost to get in,
mister?n 'Thirty-fye cents is the lowest, !"
Ar0 they really going to ght GboTt Fight
| Sullivan, mister" Such Is fame.
WEDNESDAY, gracious! 1 don't see what
IS to become of me " Spriggns-"What Is
the matter nowf" Wiggns-"My gas bill for
the three winter months has just come in.
! Why, sir, it means ruination." Spriggns-
| 'Oh, not at all. ! had gas bill Of the same
/ kind, and it just makes me laugh to think how
/ | got the better of the company. They thought
| | would bankrupt myself to pay it; but. bless
| Your stars, l did no such thing" Virgins
''Why, how did you work it?" SIEiggings-"I
| Just moved away and left my house on their
| hands. philadelphia call.