Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1884-03-02
FUNNY THINGS FROM LITTLE ONES.

Somebody asked the four-yesr old son Of
one of our citizens what hs would do il
his father died. WAY said the young
ster, I'D Wear my new boots to the fl.
neTdll"
A small boy who stood gazing wistfully
at large candy man in a confeCtioner's
window, suddenly exclaimed: II could
lick that fellow with both hands tied be
bind my back -
Philadelphia Boy my ma has got a
gold watch, and big diamond pin. and q
uew seslskin sacqus what cost $500" Chi.
cago Boy-"Pooh. That's nothing. Ny
mas got new divorce"
A little Toy in Yonkers, n. Y, wss dis
covered in The oct OF putting pieCs %
uIincc pie iato bis mothers clock. He
ssd he wanted to her WHIST kiud OF noise
u clock made when il had the stomschs-
ache.
a lille child of Rutland, w.. becoming
NeariGd with the guarreling of two young
or children over glass Of milk eXClal med
What's the use of lighting forever over
that milk? There's n whole cowful out in
tie barn."
Father" said bright lad II think I'll
Become minister when I grow up"
What puts that idea into your head, my
cause, dad, | notice that ma always kills .
chicken whenever the minister eats here"
A clergyman asked q Sunday school
vite pass On the other slider" A scholar
held up his hand. well. my boy, why
did the priest and Leyite pass by on the
other side?" IL know" said the boy be
cause the man was sl!eady robbed"
A sick little child, on whom his mother
lad Just put II poGiuce, WAS lying in bed.
Ae followed with bis eye the clouds tn 1t
were playing tide snd.seek in the heav-
ems. Suddenly the moon half disappeared
behind a nPbuious mass. Look" said
the child, they have put Poultice on the
moon"
Mother o govern ess Come, work the
children out of the room; my doctor is COM
irg." Little dsugt ter-'O On, mamma, let
rs stay here. We want to -" Mother
We'll, what DO you wsnt?' Little
dsughter-"Why, do you know, papa al
ways says the doctor leads you about by
tie nose, and we want to see him 90 it.
May Bridget cut that cake now7" asked
little Johnny last evening, right in the
presence of some company who had just
got seated. mo child, not now" ooh,
yes; not now That's what you've been
sayin' fur a week, and you said you wuz a
gOin''to cut it IS soon as you'd have CON.
Pany." In an hour or so after Johnny got
slice OF the cake.
Madame and baby had just returned
from q promenade. Monsieur asked for
details. "Oh, my dear, good news" said
his wife. Baby can talk. Baby said his
first word little while ago" Indeed"
Tell NE all about it," well we were at
the Jarden des Plsntes, in frout of the
hugo csge OF monkeys, when baby sud.
denly cried out very distinctly, All,
papsI'
Rffie Ito Mrs. Belweather, who has just
been speaking Of Mr.. B.)-"Why, Mrs.
Belweather, thought you hadn't any hus-
bandw Mrs. B-"Why, OF course, have,
Ellie. Doyou mean to say you don't know
Mr.. Belweathea?" Eiie-"Yes, but
didn't suppose he was your husband. l
thought you hadn't any. Papa said you
married for money and that was all you
got"
Visitor (who has taken q small girl on
bis lspl-"Now, my little pet, what do you
think I've taken You on my Zap forT'
but TO give you something almost as good
ss candy-s real sweet kiss" 8. CID
rather bsve the candy; you can 60 and kiss
the governesS. That's what papa does, and
he gives me candy every time see him
do it."
Young Alpbonso-"Do You know how
to courtesyr' Little Nell-"Yes, l
Knows" Young Alphonso-"Well, now
stand up. Twill bow to you, and you
courtesy to me. want to see you do il. I"
Little Nell-"But the dancing master said
we must only courtesy to gentlemen"
Young Alphonso-"Wellr Little Nell
PA and ma both told sister you was no
gentleman"