Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-10-05
BRIGHT BITS.

Il HAVE been taking cold" remarked a
South side girl. on emerging from an ice
cream saloon, after calling for the second
plate.-OH city Derrick.
Il UNDERSTAND you want a coachman.'
YES, sir: How much experience have you
haCE" Three" Three what?r "Elope-
ments. ''-ChicagO Ne1es.
'.WHAT is the big corner in pork hear
about?' asked Laura across the CHEEKY tea =
table. 1.-The big corner in pork" replied
/ Tom, ''is the ham."-Erchdnge.
laura, if you will not have nae will blow
my brains out" Every well, then. Mr.. Addle-
pate, / will have you" 'Oh, viii you, dear
est When. oh, when? Name the day
'When you have blown out hat mOnstrouslY
bad set Of rains."-Chic1gO 8e5Cs.
A BOY was asked which was the greater
evil, hurting anOther's feelings or his finger.
1.-THE feelings" he said. fright, my dear
child said the gratlfed questiOner, land
why is it worse to hurt the feellngs2" ''Be-
cause you can't tie rag around them,' an
swered the child.-Y0nkerS Statesman.
G1MLET-"Hello, old man. haven't seen you
for a month of Sundays" Augur-''No, Il
Gimlet-"And you are looking so well, too.
Never saw you better" Augur-'Yes, -
Gimlet-''YOur face has good healthy color,
but your nose is badly burned. Been out OF
town." Augur-"No; my wife has.-The
Beacon.
'sJUsT think of ltr calculated Mrs. G., of
more money than brains, to another lady
. L
papers how that horrid MacFimsey girl led
of german "Oh. my! He's some poor
Dutchman, l suppose, but l always suspected
she'd do something awful, replied the other.
Boston Transcript.
Mrs. BLANK-''Do you believe that rumor
about Henry Irving and Miss Terry?" Mr..
Blank-''I have heard numerous rumOrs
about them. To which do you refer?" Mrs.
Blank-"Why, to the report that they are
married. Do you think that can be true?'
MIR. Blank-"U Undoubtedly. l see by the pa
pers that they have quarreled again. Phil
ddelDhid cal.
MRS. Lockwood says: lone thing is GER
tain. if l an elected l will call to my Cabinet
the most talented men and women can find. "
we believe her, but, Tor one, we should De
obliged to decline the appointment. We are
afraid Belva would embrolI US IN foreign
war by insisting that America should set the
female fashions for France, instead Of France
setting them for America, and we should not
like to be implicated in such measure
A0rr{stOlcn Herald.
ENTERED UPON AN ARTISTIC CAREER
"YOur son William is in the city, under
stand, Mrs. Plougbgitg remarked Mrs. Cal
fer. ''Yes. man, William has taken to a
metrOpollshing career" repled MRS. Plough
git, with maternal pride: win he learn a
ny NO Which, one size b 5ae
adopted that Of an artist, nam: The last we
heard Of him was through friend who said
he was engaged in painting the town red
PittsbuFg Chronicle.
Three Brokers stood on the curb one day,
While stocks went up and stocks went down,
And one to the other was heard TO say,
The market will soon be booming.
For men must work while women do sleep,
| Tho margins are lost there's corner IN wheat,
Ana the market may be booming.
Three Dudes sat up in an Office next day,
While stocks went up and stocks went down,
Said one to the other, .sOld chappies, say,
The market is upward moving"
For men must work while women do sleep,
Tho margins are lost there's corner In wheat,
And the market may be booming.
Three Lambs came out OF that Office, they say,
While stocks went up and stocks went down
Their margins were gone, they were leaving
the town,
And the market was not booming,
For men must work while women do sleep,
And Lambs and brokers must surely eat,
Tho the market is not booming.
Chicago Meas.