The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-01-30
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

dUMVh OF IuE UAIs
"rll make an oat of that, is what the
farmer said when planting his seed
Statesman
The dictionary is not as big as the
postoffice, but it contains more letters to
the square inch.-Nelo York Journal
''Your little boy appears to be particu-
larly lively, madam" ''Oh, yes" re-
sponded the lady, sweetly, che thinks
he is in church THE Judge.
A mole on the nose indicates that
man will be great traveler-probably
to get out of the way of people who
make personal remarks. Citizen.
A young man who dropped in unex-
pectedly upon his girl. the other evening,
found her in tears Poor thing, she had
been peeling onions. ns.-PhiJadeLphia ChrOn-
icle.
Little George was questioned the other
day about his big sisters beau. ''How
old is he2" 81 don't know" "Well, is
he young2" 81 think so, for he hasn't
any hair on his head. boston Courier.
JUST LIKE A MAN.
A man is very like a gum
That TACT p ease Try TO nix;
For if he finds he's charged too much,
Why that's the time he kicks.
-KonkerS Statesman.
''Do you play by the ear see you
don't require notes." said Fort Wayne
gentleman to musician of the city or
chestra. mo, SIR" was the reply, II
play by the night and require bank
notes. ."-7he Hoosier.
Be gentle in the family. Oh, always
de gentle. Above all make the boys be
gentle. If we had family of boys we
should compel them to be gentle, II we
had to wear out every barrel stave in the
shed. .-Rockland Courier.
1t is said an Arizona Judge resigned
from the bench to become hotel waiter.
The judicial ermine may satisfy mans
vanity, but it does not always fill the void
created by the want of three square rneals
a day.-Neso Orleans Picayane.
There was man in town who thought
him wondrous wise He swore by all the
fabled gods he'd never advertise. His
! goods were advertised ere long, and there
| by hangs a tale-the ad. was set in non
pariel and headed "Sheriff Sale"
Zampilaerostationistn is the namc
which some one says is the correct one to
apply to a roller skater. This will make
the exercise more dangerous than ever,
for if one falls on that name it will break
every bone in his body.-Oa CITY Der
rick
A grave-digger walking in the streets
the other day CHANGED to turn and noticed
two doctors walking behind him. He
stopped till they passed and then follow
ed on behind them. "And why this ~
said they. 81 know my place in the pro-
cession, returned he.
1t is evident, from the following de-
scription by an exchange of the girl Of
the period, that she is desperate and
bound to carry her point during leap
year: "She carries a short, stout walking
stick" This of course means husband
or place on the polic~ force.-Ieckas
San.
A lady was reproaching Mr.. William
| Warren, the Boston actor, at a recent
reception for going into society so little.
"You ought TO let me lionize you lit
tie, " she said. 81 never heard of but one
man., replied the veteran actor, ''who
was not spoiled by being h"1ized." "
"And who was he2" 'Daniel.'
A "Woman's Exchange has been
opened in Washington, aud already the
secretary has received letters from several
married men in various parts of the
country, making inquiries concerning
the probable expense of exchanging their
"old women for others. A misunder-
standing probably exists somewhere
| NoyTist0loR Herald.
A contemporary asks ''How shall wo-
men carry their purses to frustrate the
thieves 2' Why carry them empty
Nothing illustrates a thief moro than to
snatch a womans purse after following
| her half a mile, and then find that it con-
tains nothing but recipe for spiced
peaches and a faded photograph Of her
! grandmother Press.
A Georgia man after nearly jerking his
leg off trying to get his foot out of a
frog" on a railway track before On APP
preaching train should reach hlm, finally
had to unlace his shoe, pull his foot out
and leave his shoe to be run over. Just
us he got his foot out safely the train
went on another track. and he used bis
shoe to kick himse f with for not seeing
that he was or side track all the time.
-Hasekeye.