The Osceola times., 1884-05-03
MOONSHlNE.

Financial paradox: With less Cash
the credit of South Carolina would be
better.-New York Post
"Have you seen George lately, Char
lew" mo; | loaned him five dollars as
much as three weeks ago" Lowell Git
izen.
A crushed dandy: Diminutive dude.
''Why do you make me wait until the
last dancer" Young lady: "Oh, to give
you time to grow."-Puck.
Bismarck to Uncle sam: Thunder and
bitten III send your pigs and resolu-
tons to the right apout. ] am hog
enough for all Yermany meinself |
dinks 50 some The Judge.
Heres your roast beef, sah,' said the
waiter 81 served it some time ago"
'Oh, indeed? roast beers Why, so you
did. thought all the time it was a
crack IN the plate. detroit Free Press.
Speaking of an old gentleman who
gave himself out as 'ene of them d-n
literary fellows" But / have never
seen any of his writings" That doesn't
astonish me he only writes posthumous
works Anon.
Domestic unanimity: at is beaut.
full thing to see husband and wife OF
one mind" remarked Mrs. Fogg; bui
then it makes good deal of difference
who carries the mind. ."-Boston Trans
cript.
Should Satan have his share: IF the
4 l. =. lnr
would you be?" ~ should be goinl
around, with tears in my eyes, warning
others against following YOU to destruc
tion," rctorted Bass.-Boston Transcript
"Oh, yes, it was a horrible situation
My husband had disappeared for two
years and did not know whether b,
was living or deadw at was really hor
rible p "Just think, it was impossible
for me to marry again French fun.
A ready answer: "How does it happen
doctor" asked Lawyer Coke, that 81
few of your patients recover? 'Probab
ly,' quickly replI I'd DIR. Bolus, "for tn,
same reason that so few of your client,
ver."-Boston Transcript.
An amendment: "Don't give il away
please, Mildred" said Amy to the high
school girl, after reciting an cscapade il
which she had been engaged. NO" re.
piled Mildred, "i'll make no gratuitou,
presentation of it."-Oil City Derrick.
Parish business Excited chairman (tC
persistent interrupter). Keep YOU
tongue between your teeth, SIR Per
sistent interrupter. aid make so bold a.
to recommend you to keep your tongue
between yours, too if-you had any
eth."-Lcndon Judy.
In barber shop: Mr.. Jack Plane
carpenter, whose facial stubbe has jus
been raced, lays down two-dollar note
Boss barber-"Tckets?" j. P-"M-no
guess not. Pm always losing 'em. Bos.
barber-"In the shavings, eh?'-BostoI
Transcript.
Undesirable correspondence: "Yes,
replied Bass, ION general grounds. sup
pose large mail should indicate gooc
| business but look at these"-showing
| double fistful of duns-"the less business
have the more of these blasted thing
| receive."-Boston Transcript.
Fargo young lady named Rouse.
! Caught n glimpse OF a poor llttlr mouse
! And the scream that she scrome,
/ shattered heavens blue done.
And bulged out the walls of the house.
bismarck tribune
Obeying an ordinance; Have yol
| heard the dreadful news about Miller?'
"No; what is it?' "He was in boat II
the river. He fell overheard and wa
drowned. The water was too deep
Didn't he know how to SWIM" "Swim
Don't you know that all persons are for
hidden by the police to swim in the riv
er?"-Texas Siftings.