The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-04-11
DEER LODGE, MONTANA, APRIL II, 1884.
WHOLE NO. TO
WHY WE LAUGH.

Some Of the agricultural papers are worked
on Hoe presses.
Lime-Kiln Club: De man In debt am C
swimmer wild his butes on. ."
An Ohio convict has declined q pardon.
Next thing to his Office, an OHIO man clings
to his cell.
Mrs. Carlisle has already returned $50
calls, and yet the croakers keep on bowling
that this Congress hasn't done anything
Boston Post.
It's thought that Mary Anderson will make
her dehnt In Rarlin IN the play of "pya-
malion." If she did Bismarck would return
her to the United States.-CdH.
The New Orleans Picayune, in speaking
Of the hand grenade for putting out fires,
asks for one "that will put out cat when
with the boot. jack?
An enterprisIng proprietor Of patent med
icine in London proposes to pay for the priv
ilege of tattooing his advertisement on bald
heads. He evidently appreciates the promi.
nence Of the occupants Of front seats In the
theatre.
Mendicsnt-Please, sor, give . few cints
TO poor ould man, and you'll be all the
happier for it. Cent can't give you
cent. It's contrary to my religion to feel
happy during Lent. I'm High Church.
Terds SJtings.
Once, In Lent, peasant who had been q
rich mans servant exclaimed: 81 cannot
fast, 1t is far too expensive, for TO fast you
must have water game, trout. salmon, forced
fruits, vegetables, trufiles and champagne"
IN. Y. Express.
First citizen-I understand that Minister
Morgan has joined the great majority. Sec
ond citizen-You don't say SOP When did
he die? First citizen-I did not say he was
dead. He has become q candidate for the
Presidency.-N Y. Graphic.
1t Is estimated that in the City of New
York there is q grogshop to every 175 inhas-
itants. And yet, according to reports, there
is as much suffering in that city as in any
other in the Union. 1t must be that too
many of the grogshops won't trust.-Norris-
to,cn Herald.
Presence of Mind A lady stepped into the
sanctum this morning and said sweetly
"Will you be kind enough to let me look at
The Christian at Work ?' The horse editor
blushed little, but had the presence of
mind to say: "Certainly, madam; what can
/ do for you ?"-Call.
On the occasion of Baker Pasha's battle at
Ell Teb an English officer placed revolver
to the head Of an Egyptian and ordered him
to advance. The Egyptian, quietly putting
aside the weapon, said In an astonished tone,
~ advance !" adding proudly, "No; am an
Egyptian" and he toek to his heels.
Manager-I think you ought to be willing
TO take less next season. Gerster-An' Wy
so? Manager-You know you have baby,
and baby always makes a woman seem
older. Gerster-It do, do it? Manager
or course. Now you see Nine. Patti seems
very young yet, because she has no baby,
you know. Gerster-Oh, Is dot It? Veil, l
guess Nine. PATHS got no babies now, be-
cause dey is all married of.-Philadetphia
Gail.
The custom of naming towns IN the maB-
ner of Frankfort the Main, Is being adopt.
ed In this country, aud we have "Msnches.
ter-by-the sea-" "Yonkels-on- the Hudson"
and several others. The west should not be
behind the east In this matter, and Wiscon-
sin, the great summer resort State, should
get in her work. Let us have Waukesha-by.
the Reform School, Wauwatoso blythe glue
factory, Oshkosh near the -lunatic asylum
and Beaver Dam. by a-beaver- dam. site. That
will do for q starter.-Peck's Sun.