Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-07-04
WANTED 4 Wife.
a College Tale.

= . Q d
Oxford, had just finished his usual after
breakfast pipe, on the last day of the
summer term, 1880, when his attention
was arrested by a sharp rap at his
door, Immediately followed by the en-
trance OF the well-dressed person OF his
college friend, Methven. US
Come along in" said Horribly, land
Light yourself u pipe"
'No, thank ye, can't STOP" replied
Methyen, las I have lot to do. this
morning; but I thought I would run
; across and tell you bit OF news. I
have just arranged q glorious hoax, at
the expense, T need hardly say, OF old
Crofton he las become to cute lately
to be caught by our old time honored
Jokes, and so + have arranged the fol-
lowing plan: A week ago inserted in
the agony column OF the Morning Adver-
tiser glowing matrimonial advertise
ment. in which stated that the adver-
tiser, who was handsome and rich, and
all that sort of thing, desired to meet
with apretty and accomplished girl with
aview to natrimony. All applicants
were to send their photographs; the re-
plies to be sent to Fl. c., No, 151 St.
Giles, Oxford-that's the house where
my scout lives, and SO, of course told
him to bring me any letters thus adj
dressed. Igot no reply for day or so but
four days ago I received a letter from a
certain dan1sel who described herself as
young, handsome and accomplished in
closed me the photograph of very
pretty girl, ended by asking me when
and where I should meet her in town,
and signed herself Miss l.. Bernard,
Piccadilly Circus Postoffice; she also
expressed q desire to have the adver-
Users photograph, so l promptly sent
her that Of old Crofton, which he had
lately given me, and said I would write
tonight when and where I should
meet her; so my scheme is, to somehow
induce Crofton to meet this girl; she
will of course recognize hum by the,
photograph l have sent, will probably
rush into his arms, and the kangaroo
will be utterly oyerpowered, and there
will be an interesting denouement.
Now, Horribly, don't you think that q
m agnifcent piece of strategy?"
J "No, indeed 1 DON'T" said Horribly,
7 think it an Internal shame; and,
i what's more, I have half mind to go
and tell the kangaroo Of the hoax"
ooh, come now" said Methven,
"you'd never do that, Jack, know.
Well, I can't stay any longer, so good
! by for the present"
/ There is not the very slightest doubt
that if the fates had not interviewed,
Horndy would have gone straight to
Crofton and warned him Of the impend-
ing hoax, and this story would never
have been written; but, as it happened
no sooner had Methven gone out of
Horney s rooms than in rushed the sec
Rotary of the College Cricket Club in q
state Of GREATNESS anxiety; there was
match at 11.30, it was now II o'clock,
and he could only get together eight
men. So Horribly was promptly en-
listed, and by tho time the match was
over Methven and his scheme had en-
tirely faded from his not to retentive
memory Methven, in the meantime.
had gone straight to Crofton's rooms.
Now this Crofton, who was
about to fall victim to Meth
large Australian sheep farmer, and had
come up to Brazenface the previous
October. Like most colonists who
have not been to school in England, he
was very simple and unsophisticated;
and though the Kangaroo, as he was
generally called, was very popular, he
was constantly being made the victim
Of some practical jokes, most Of which
were originated by Methven, who was
the professional hoaxer Of Brazenface.
He always forgave them heartily, and
Joined in the laugh himself. However,
his one years residence in college had
opened his eyes little, and, being natur-
ally anything but fool, his friends
found it not quite so easy to take him in
now as it used to be, and several at
tempts having lately failed, Metnven,
to sustain his dwindling reputation as
a Joker, had concocted the plan he had
disclosed to Horribly. He found the
genial giant busily packing his traps
ready for going down the next day.
After chatting q moment the tempter
began: ".
s. As you are going to town to- morrow,
want you to do me little favor. I
promised to meet q girl, cousin of
mine. to- morrow, We had each got an
z order for the house Of commons, and {
was to have escorted her, and as we
meant to have u little lunch together at
Lucas before we went in, we had ar
ranged to meet at a quarter past at
81 the Westminster Bridge landing pier,
that being q place where we couldn't
possibly miss one another. Now, as
bad luck will have it the man has sent
for me to see him after collections, so
that can't get up to town in time
Unfortunately, I can't let the girl
d know, because she's away on visit for
d day Or two, to some friends, whose
address I have forgotten, and she won't
return home till after she's been to the
4 house. Now, I don't want the poor
child to wait an hour for me, so would
you mind going there about 3 rs and.
tell her / can't come becauge Of that
beastly Dean? And SO that YOU can't.
mistake her, I've brought you her pho
Itograph. By-the-by, her names Miss
Bernard. Now, will this be too much
trouble for you p s
Oh, not . BIT, I" said Crofton, & shall
he delighted. Z $4S,
& Well, remember, Westminister land
& ing pier, at quarter past 81 And now,
Z good by, and q pleasant long TO Won. = 4
Methven, highly elated with the re-
suit of his scheme, imme diatcly wrote d
note to Miss ii. Bernard that n. lei.
would meet her at the Westminster
bridge pier at a quarter past two pune
Etuall and that she must come up and
speak to him il she saw him first.
The next morning Crofton, having
undergone that dread ordeal called col