Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-12-31
MUSTACHES THAT HAD TO GO.
An Order to the Employees of an Old Firm
Recalled by Levi p. Morton's Clean
Shaver Face

head of the wholesale dry-goods firm OF
Morton, Grinnell & Co., in lower
Broadway. One morning, shortly after
he entered the store, an order was issued
requiring all employees wearing mus
taches to remove them prior to date
named, refusal to do so being followed
by dismissal. There were good many
mustaches in the establishment in va
rious stages of cultivation and growth.
Some were thick, some middling, and
some we're unquestionably thin and
scattering. AS to the hues, they were
almost as much diversified as the differ
ent degrees of density of individual
crops. There were many that were
black here and there red one bloomed,
much after the manner of black sheep
in o flock, while those that might be
called "off-color" outnumbered all the
rest. The styles, too, were numerous.
There was the mustache a la Napoleon
Ill, with it's waxed ends standing out
from each corner of the mouth like the
horns of catfish. There was a heavy
weight mustache brushed down over
the lips, bearing q resemblance in it's
appearance to pen and ink sketch of
the falls of Niagara. Then there was
the military mustache with its ends
flowing in the breeze like the tail of g.
year-old colt. There were, in fact, o
great many varieties and qualities,
ranging all the way from that which
was as soft to the touch as sealskin
sacque to that which was as stubborn
and unyielding as the bristles of hair
brush.
It is fair to presume, too, that each
individual mustache had it's admirer
among the sex which has no boards Of
it's own, to say nothing of the special
alteration bestowed upon it by it's
owner. Besides, when q man comes
honestly by mustache, after years of
amounting and patient waiting, he ought
to be allowed to enjoy his possession
without interference. To be coolly told
to removeit after such travail and under
such circumstances smacks of injustice
and oppression, especially in a country
where every man boasts of his personal
liberty. Still the edict went forth and
the mustaches trembled, and the COM
rnand "Shave, or leaveI" was passed
along the line. Some young men there
were who, having previously pointed with
pride to the gradual discoloration of
their upper lips as the evidence that
the long-looked for had come at last,
now protested that they had not yet
reached the point at which responsible
ty began. One young man, then about
10 years old, took counsel with his
rather as to the course he should pursue.
The governor" coolly and calmly replied,
much to the chagrin of the son, that it
was only small thing anyhow, and he
guessed he had better let it go. The
sensitive youth thought he discovered
in the paternal observation satir1cal
reflection upon his mustache. But
protests were all to no purpose; the
mustaches were ordered to go, and go
they did. That is to say, at the ap-
pointed time every man, save one, ap-
peared with smooth upper lip This
one stubbornly resisted the mandate,
and went abroad into the world to stare
the future in the face.
It was an amusing scene when the
bevy of clerks appeared with their feat
ures shorn of that evercoveted append
age. Men who had been laughing for
years under cover of a mustache now in
stinctively placed their hands over their
mouths whenever they were forced to
smile, under a sense of apprehension
that the upper lip would split wide open
unless this protection was afforded.
They suffered in this form a double
disadvantage, for, as everyone knows,
at such times and under such circum-
stances a man always finds special rea-
sons for long laughing and is never
quite able to control his inclination to
do so. Men, too, with rosy or sunburnt
compilations were embarrassed on look
ing in the mirror at seeing their mouths
arched by a deathly white upper lip.
Then there were occasions of painful
awkwardness, as, for instance, when q
man who had been for months or years
in the habit of twirling his mustache
would instinctively put his hand to the
corner Of his mouth to realize suddenly
that the object of his special pride was
gone. The only exercise in which the
men found genuine relief (and this, it
may be said, afforded something by way
of compensation, was in eating soup,
and, consequently, there was run on
soup such as the neighboring restau-
rants had not experienced for long
period.
All who have known Mr.. Morton will
remember him as fne-looking gentle
man with a handsome mustache and
side-whiskers, and a kindly, genial
countenance. On the occasion of his
recent visit to this country he appeared
with a clean shaver face. It was this
fact that revived the old story. A gen.
tlemen who was il the service of the old
firm of Morton, Grinnell & Co., and
who, in accordance with the mandate,
parted with his mustache, asked the
minister, not long ago, if he remember
ed the issuing OF the order. Mr.. Morton
laughed heartily, but disclaimed respon-
sibility therefor. He said, however,
that in those times there was an objec-
ton on the part of customers to being
waited on by very young men wearing
mustaches and "stove-pipe" hats, and to
this fact he attributed the order for the