The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-06-06
Anticipated a. Every Taru.

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"Good day, gentlemen" Id. ~.
~ suppose you are busy continued III,
ylaltor, q tall, thin man with susplcioual,
benevolent Blnilo. -rf.-
mot at ALL" responded the horse 70
porter. 1.-THE fine, Intellectual looking mer
that you meet Id newspaper Offices ar,
hired simply TO alt around and buy sever
boxes Of matches Tor five cents, subscribe
cheerfully for ihe Illustrated History q
Macoupin County In seven parts, 10 BE-
paid for as delivered, and assist latenl
genius In the fascinating but urrtmuner
r.lve ,aak Of climbing The rugged hill o.
II have been thinking" continued The
visitor, "that there is a nretty good chance
for paner like tho Tribune to make I'M
on this Wall street panic and the failures
that havG resulted from t." :
81 suppose you would lead OF by 70.
marking that Fiah had proved to DO scaly
fellow p said the horse reporter.
"Well, yes,n replied the visitor, II Ger.
tainly was thinking Of that But then thers
are other things. Now, for instance, take
the case Of Gen. Grant. He"
ASpt Wo huuN AUUut tuAts I1b WQpnt
able to Ward of the blow, was he2 Ia that
right7"
IA certainly had that In mind" said
The stranger, "but there isano.hsr point
We've hooked tina! up. too" remarked
tho horse reporter. :You mean that,
although temporarily crushed, Gen. Grant
can atill give his enemies Jesse2" n, 49,
THAT was about what l intended 10
say" replied the thin man, "but thers are
other prominent people involved. Now,
there's Vanderbilt. Olcourse he wants
stocks to 70 up, and" i.lGT0
....precisely so. 1t would be perfectly
side splitting. wouldn't II, to write some.
thing Ike that, and then say Vanderbilt
was bully fellow I"
"You seem to have anticipated me
there" said the thin man, beginning TO
look less professionally cheerful, "IIow.
ever, Vanderbilt ianot the only prominent
figure in Wall street. There's"
Exactly. There's another man-one
who hasn't seemed at all worried, and
whose check Is as good Rs Gould. Did Won
have that rib.tesler in your collection?"
Unjust confess that was thinking al
something In that vein, but still Il doesn't
matter. A truo humoriat is never at loss.
There are other men just as wise "a Gould.
Now, for Instance 81 sgs..I r5IT7'
."rhat'a right again. One OF them ia not
only wise. but Sage. Did Ispiks another
gun for you2" A. - ,
1.-THE general current Of my thought was
Internationally tending In that direction, y
said the volunteer humorist. "Lst us look
At the matter in another light, however,
There are some people 10 whom the fail in
STOCKS was a blesaipg. They are not cad,
but on the contrary they ATT" =
You bet they do" said the horse repor.
Tor. "They Just grin and lbeas' II. Tha.
e1cruciatingiy funny thing was brought in
last week by man from Wayback." Tg
But even the wisest men are sometimes
wrong" continued the visitor. "Even
the-n a..--.. r.-i,.5Il I4-..- -
II knew you were coming to that. Even
the Gage Is liable to be put ont st the
calls made on him. ! remember The duck
that carried that masterpiece OF humor up
here Tor US. We are looking for him again
with gum" y = p.
''But lesying individuals out Of the mat.
ter" said the dirpanser Of humor, ''les Us
take some Of the tirns. You might gay"
" know It. We might say that in Fisk.
al matters 1t IL easy TO Hatch plot-but
We won't 1t would also Ia possible to re.
mark that bankers are sometimes found 10
be men Of no principal. especially when
i u 10 their interest 10 do 30, but a vaca.
i;jc on that a.y!s Of literature will also be
taken" -
Then you don't think It would DO pos.
able to make use Of the article have pre-
pared 2" said the humorist. I,'f7'
NO." replied the horse reporter. s'Tbese
old custon.made jokes that bsg at the
knees Leforeyou can get 'em in type won't
do Tor Chicago. II you have got Job lot
Of hand.aewed witticisus with double up.
Peis and wide soles-Romelhipg that will
10 Tor the city-we might make a trade"
"Good.day," Enid the humorist.
"Au revoir," responded the horse re-
porter. III you zee a big three.story.and.
basement word out In the hall don't be
alarmed. It's only waiting for The drama.
tic CRITIC 70 come along and bull 1t at the