St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-10-11
How a Woman Takes a Train,

| NeW IuatTieu women VINO live IN the
country ten or twenty miles from the
city in which their husbands have busi-
ness ever take the railroad train to the
city which they mean to take II
makes no difference whether they live
five minutes walk from the depot or
twenty, the time they arrive at the
depot averages as nearly as possible
three minutes after the train has left.
Of course they are on time for the next
train which will leave in half an hour.
Why woman is always late in taking
a train is inexplicable. A ticket agent
who lived with his family right over
the depot once observed that his wife
never took the train she expected to
take. When her train arrived she gen-
orally had one boot on and was looking
out OF the window, with one eve on the
train and the other eve looking for her
second boot. A married man, when he
first goes to reside in the country, gem
orally misses from six to q dozen trains
in the first few months by waiting in
the morning for his wife to take the
train with him to the city. After this
he pays no more attention when his
wife says she will 90 in the train with
him than on her informing him when
the church strawberry festival is to
come OF. He knows the strawberry
festival is bound to come off, some
time, and he knows his wife will 90 to
the city. but she will not 90 ON the train
with him, or on the one she expects to
go on.
If you reside ten minutes walk from
the depot your wife, after keeping YOU
waiting at the house until five minutes
before the train leaves, will inform YOU
she Is ready; and when you tell her it
Is impossible to catch that train and
you must take the next one, she will
inform you that she has walked to the
depot in five minutes dozen times.
You know you can not do it About
ten minutes before the mex, train leaves
you set out with Your wife for the de.
pot. Before you have gone thirty
yards she returns to the hoise for her
pocket book. and to tell Jane not to let
the baby fall down the back stoop. and
that she will be back on the $50 train.
Your wife. having used up about two
minutes OF the ten in running back, al
though she can walk to the depot in
hve minutes, asks, when YOU are half
way to the depot, if you want to walk
the clothes of her back, and al the same
time informs You she never felt so hot
In her life, and that you have plenty of |
time and your watch must be wrong:
and that the train is always late, and |
when you reply that it is always on
time she wants to know how about two |
years ago last January, when you had |
To wait an hour for that train. She re- |
fers TO the day of the big snow storm,
"hen all the trains were late, and tries
70 play it of on YOU in June, with the |
thermometer at eighty-tive in the shade.
The lady who resides in the country
goes through the same operation in re-
from the city. She expects to
return on the 4:30 train this is her
husbands usual train-and misses it
spon herown calculation by one minute
a woman always misses train by
,ne minute-but when she looks at the
'ailroad clock she finds that it is the
o'clock train she has missed instead
II the ESQ, and by the railroad clock
ne has missed that train by five min
ties. She is on hand for the $50 train,
however. The TWENTY-FIVE minutes she
las to remain in the depot she spends
D talking with any of her lady friends
he happens to meet who have done
list rs she did, and informs them she
lon't believe the railroad clock is right,
md it must he too fast. for when She
vas in Macy's waiting for her change
was only 1 o'clock, and she only
topped twice coming down from there.
he then produces her watch to show
hat the railroad clock is ten minutes
90 fast: then she walks up to the ticket
eceiverand inquiries whether he doesn't
hink the railroad clock is too fast: he
uesseS not; then she informs the ticket
iker she is certain it is, and shows her
,atch. and he says "May be-" When
ne finally arrives at home she explains
the whole family how she missed the
80 train, and a stranger would sup
ose it was the first train she had ever =.
liSsed in her life.-M. Y Commercial
drertiser.