Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-01-24
A HUNTING EXCURSION.
Mrs. Spoopendyke's Experience i'm
Packing Her Husbands Nalfse.
From the Brooklyn Eagle.

Say, my dear, said Mr. Spoopen-
dyke, gently, cant you pack valise
for me; Specklewottle and | are going
duck-hunting, now that the other fell
lows are all home"
ooh, myw squealed Mrs Spoopen-
dyke, dropping her crazy quilt in all
directions. Promise me you wont
take gun.
Whats the matter with the wo-
MANI inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke, los
ing his cheerfulness, and cycling his
wife critically. "A gunl what dye
s'pose we'd do with guns. No, we take
salt, Mrs. Spoopendyke; salt, l say,
and we climb trees and lay it on their
tails We're after the breed of ducks
that roost in the tree tops like dod
gasted owl Understand"
"Ohw murmured his wife, resum
ing her effort of working forgetme
nots with green silk. THAT is much
nicer, and then they won't be full of
little bullets like those you bought
last week. But be careful If it SHOWS
and come home The paper says"
bod CAST what the paper says !"
snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. with
your knowledge of the weather and
the science of gunnery, you only need
a little less intellect and little more
pocSet-money to be a whole Signal
Service. But-see here, did your pa
per say anything about gifted fe-
male getting her husbands valise
packed by the next Presidential cleo
tion2n
Certainly, dear, responded Mrs
Spoopendyke, Juggling at the huge
bag her husband brought in, and
finally placing it on the table Nov,
what viii you takel'
Take !" roared Mr.. Spoopendyke-
take, he repeated, as the cpormity
of his wife's obstinacy and ignorance
began to dawn upon him. Just put
me up a swallow-tail coat and a Re
vised edition; chuck in linen buster
and a prayer book remember, prayer
book and not a measly old hymn
book. These ducks we're after are all
of the English Church, and won't
stand any fooling on the articles Of
faith"
That's right, he yelled, as his
obedient wife iammed down the dress
coat; that's the kind of a wife.
Don't suppose those ducks'll be any
more impressed by my appearance in
a hunting coat Don't imagine for an
instant that those birds will know the
difference between Spoopendyke with
frozen ears and straw hat, and all
those traps I've wasted wealth on to
protect my health.
'And you'll need your new slip
pers," continued Mrs. Spoopendyke,
meditatively, her finger on her lips,
and your new tie with polka dots
You've hit it now" yelled Mr..
Spoopendyke, springing up like a ball.
you've got it. I'm going out to
swell entertainment These ducks
are going to give a New England din
ner, and Henry Ward Beecher and |
are going to make speeches on the ad-
vancement of duck and the evolution
of fowl. Say, Mrs Spoopendyke,"
continued her husband, dropping into
a ferocious calm, do you think those
ducks are giving german out in the
swamps, or indulging in Italian opera
in the marshes of Long lsland2
Well, they're not; and they're not
giving any measly church sociable,
either Consequently, Mrs. Spoopen
dyke, I'll be obliged to ask you 10
pack that receptacle as shall dictate, "
and Mr.. Spoopendyl1e flung himself
into chair and glared, while his
wife proceeded TO pack under his in
struction.
Where are you going to put thatG'
he demanded, as his wife carefully
folded his shooting coat.
why, here in the bottom, be
cause"
mo, you don't" interrupted Mr..
Spoopendylle. 81 want that on top,
where it will be handy and-.what are
you going to do with that2" he ejac-
ulated, as Mrs. Spoopendyke picked
up box of cigars.
''Why, dear, I'll put these at the
bottom, and the lighter articles"
mot if Spoopendyke is in full pos
session of his faculties. l want that
and my bottle of brandy on top, in
case of accident Think I'm going to
fish forty days and forty nights, as
dld the prophets OF ola, IOf lhoSe ne
cessities of llfe2 Think I'm going to
perch Ill night in a tree. like a dod
gasted woodchuck, just because you
won't put my clothes where ! can
find them?
But, my dear" pleaded Mrs.
Spoopendyke, "they can't all go on
top
Cant, eh?" bawled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, leaping from his chair. Cant
have my own buds where they'll pro
tect me from the wintry blasts" and
he commenced playing football with
his wifes quilt
Bring me the measly idiot that
said a man was a king in his own
castle, and he made new departure
in spaiter- work, as Mrs Spoopen-
dykes inkstand struck the wall
eiShow mo the relic OF the stone age
that claimed a woman was born to
comfort and command, and, last in
the procession, trot out the dod gasted
fool that first trusted woman to pack
a vahse. and Mr.. Spoopendyke's APP
parel described circles like a juggler's
balls as he plunged into bed, and bur
I g. ,.sI1rrr~