The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-02-01
C~RoCKErT's CREDENTIALS.
Not the .Unlicked Rip Roarer" He
Was Credited With BEING. :.
From the New S-oyk S,n T."

FROM the New York SUM-.
Although Crockett was not adverse to
the notoriety which his eccentricities
achieved for him he gradually grew
ashamed @ them, and would gladly have
been at less variance with his compar
atively polished surroundings. On one
occasion when he had accepted an in
~vitation TO a large public dinner, at
which MANY notabies We're to sbe pres
ent, he sought Judge Bowen, an official
of distinction, who knew him we'll and
liked him. i
Judge" he said, 81 understand that
You are to present at the big feed this
evening""
Certainly, MIR. Crockett. Pretty
much everybody will be at the dinner, 1
beiieye.n
wen, JUDGE said Crockett a little
slyly, want to ask q favor of you.
VIII You do ME the honor to observe
me narrowly all through the repast?."
Why OF course, if you wish it, Mr..
Crockett" said the judge, anticipating
some fresh oddly or uncouthness, "bus
what for?p
Never mind at present, Judge; Phi
let You know alterward,' said Crockett.
And, blythe by, give the wink to some
friends you can trust-gentlemen of
%eminence and distinction like yourself,
You know-so that they may observe
me likewise. But mind Won, jude, they
must be eminent men-men ofhang-up
me Will you do this for me, judge?''
The Judge renewed his promise With
much hartiness. The dinner came off
accordingly. But those who had been
on the lookout for some fresh breach of
etiquette On the part of the untu,ored
congressman were doomed to disap-
pointment, though the event was, per-
haps, none tho less amusing. 1t soon
became evident that instead of seeking
to attract attention, he was earnestly
e~ndeavorina to avoid it. From the out
set he made s~uperhuman efforts to at
tain the well-bred decorum that ruled
around him, and with very commendabl
degree of success. He studied the name
ners of his neighbors in disposing Of
their viands with the keenness Of a trap
per on all indistinct trail in the starlight
and initiated them with the automaton-
like assiduity of a Chinese tailor's APP
prentice. His childlike painstaking was
equally pathetic and ludicrous. But. as
We have said, he achieved a fair degree
of success. Course succeeded course
without evolving a p%erceptible blunder.
He even slipped his wine gently instead
of engnlting it thirstily. The tempta-
tons of the wine dessert were success
fully resisted. The toasts were drunk
sparingly. AT last, to the wonder of all
and the Disappointment of many, the
dinner was at an end without the no.
torious Mr.. Crockett's having betrayed
a single oddity or vulgarism whatever,
original or otherwise.
The next day Crockett again called on
Judge Bowen in his Office, with a mix
ture of hope, anxiety and suspense in his
manner, "Judee," said he, "did you
and your friends observe me closely
at the big dinner, as l requested"
The judge had OWNED the rough dia-
mond's praiseworthy aspirations and
fully sympathized with them. "Ies,
Mr.. Crockett, we did," he re-; lied
"and, sir, VI were both astonished and
overjo yed. Mr.. Crockett must have
been masqeraaing up to this time,
we said to ourselves, for it is evident
who now casts aside the backwoods
character he has thus far seen fit to
maintain"
"Great God! are youth earnes!, judse?"
exclaimed Crockett, his breath almost
taken away. ibid l really behave de-
cent them"
"Decently, sir??" reiterated the Judge.
That don't express it, sir, You CON
Quoted yourself throughout with a dig
nifty and polish as to the manner born!.'
Crockett gave a whoop. 'Pnt that
down in writing, judee!" he exclaimed.
Draw it up in regular black and white,
as they do resolutions savin, just how
l behaved at that big dinner. Then
sign it, and, have eminent friends of
yours sign it. too. | want it as a proof
that I can be a gentleman under pree-
sure, ~judge-that | amt always. the UNI.
me with bein.' Will you, judge"
II will, and with the utmost pleasure,
Mr.. Crockett" replied Judge Brown,
with difficulty controlling himself: de.
spite the drollery ofthe situation. Gail
tomorrow and l will have the docu-
ment duly drawn up and signed.n
Greatly elated Crockett called on the
following day and got the coveted docu-
ment. Its contents we're everything he
could desire, and appended to it were. Il
dozen or more distinguished signatures.
Fora long time afte-ward he was very
fond Of exhibiting the paper, especially
to ladies at whose houses he imagined he
had most glaringly misconducted him
self. He also, upon his return to Ten
nessee, displayed it with great pride TO
many OF bis constituents and the paper
became known as "the Hon. David
Crocketts credentials"
A Scene i'm Stokes sArt RoOm.' -
From a New York Letter.
I was in the Hoffman house bar.
night before last when a row occurred
which has not yet found it's way into
the city papers. The room is crowded
with Artistic treasures Of various sorts,
including many valuable paintings. Wis
tors and sight seers are, as is well
known, the victims of powerful desire
to point umbrellas and canes at pictures,
and from pointing to poking is but a step.
The rules against this sort of playfulness
are very strict at the Hoffman. Onthe
night in question the place was crowded
with visitors. Among them was an i'm
mense man from Boston. He was six
feet four and weighed $50 pounds. He
went up with a friend to the $4,000
Bouguereu and began to point out its
case twice with his stick, and then Billy
Edwards spoke to him quite respectfully
about it. Edwards, who is the ex-
champion light weight pugilist of the
world, is retained By the house to look
after the bar room. He is the most scien-
tifc man in the country and q deadly
hitter. Hell compact, quiet and not at
all dangerous looking. When he spoke
10 the Boston man Wednesday night he
received a slap in the face before he
could get his hands up. Ii ever a man
was surprised that man was Billy Ed
wards. He flew at his opponent like
q bantam, but before he could do any
thing the stranger had him by both
hands around the throat. Billy turned
white and gasped for breath. The
strength of the stranger was prodigious.