Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-06-27


Bella asks: 'sWhat is the best thing
to feed a parrot ont" If the parrot
belonged to us we'd feed it on Paris
green or arsenic.
A young poetess says she told her
secret to the sweet, wild roses" She
was very imprudent, When the
sweet, wild roses blow she will
wish she had kept her secret to her
self.
The theory that the average length
of life is increasing is borne out by the
fact that there are at present as many
survivors of the war of 1912 as there
were fifty years ago.
"Where shall we find our teachers2"
asks an educational exchange. We'll,
many of our sweet girl teachers may
be found sitting on sofas with nice
young Ren any time after 5 o'clock
P. NJ.
A western zepher carried a COW a
quarter of mile throagh the air and
set her down in a milkman's yard.
He was SO scared that he stepped
grinding chalk and ran four miles for
a rifle to shoot the curious creature
with
'Why didn't 1 go to her assist
ance2" said the man who staid in
bed while his wife laid out a burglar.
Young man, Te had number of
tussles with the old gal, and I knew
that the burglar had trouble enough
without my giving him any"
The United States has nearly three
time as many doctors as England,
France in proportion to the popula-
ton. Does this redundancy of Doc
tors in the United States account
for the small proportion of the popu-
lation?
A new game, similar to hide and
seek, is becoming very popular IN
this country. 1t is played as follows:
A cashier in bank takes the money
Of the institution and dis4ppe ar>.
Then the detectives try to find him. If
| they succeed, he comes home and
has to pay forfeit.
Dear Hubby: Please send by mon
ey-order $50. l want to get dress.
Genevieve, P. 81 had almost for
got to send my love. Your little
WHEY. G." Dear Genevieve / send
you my undying, best love. Your
husband. Charles P. 81 had al
most forgot to say that | can't sehd
the $50. With kiss. Charles.
"Do look, how much heavier Digby' S
| wife is than he isl cried Blobson as
the pair referred to rode By in light
buggy ''Oh, no, that isn't it." re-
piled Pc oinjay, they are carrying a
loaf of Mrs. Digby's bread to poor
family around the corner, and that's
what weighs down her side of the
buggy So"
Court Ito prosecutor)-'.Then you
recognize this handkerchief as the one
which was stolen from you?" Prose
cutor-"Yes, you Honor" Court
''And yet it isn't the only handker-
chief of the sort in the world. See,
one l have in my pocket is exactly
like it." Prosecutor Very likely,
your Honor; had two stolen.
1.-TWO mep have applied for the
vacant position on the editorial staff, "
said the business manager to the edi
tor; lone carries testimonial which
describe him as rising young jour
nalist-" And the other?" Didn't
bring any testimonials He says he is
an old newspaper man" Drop a
note 10 the old newspaper man and
lell him to cal"
els your sister at home?" asked q
st. Louis young gentleman of the lit
tie brother who answered the bell
Yes, she's home" said the boy
"we're going to have cocoanut pies
for dinner tomorrow, and she's out in
the kitchen helpin. mother make EN-. "
Indeed" replied the young man,
evidently very much pleased, land
what part of the pie does your sister
make2" She crack the cocoenuts
with her teeth"
Old lady (who has met with an ac-
cident, but is coming out all right {;
Josh We didn't heller none whea
We thought | was dyin'. I b'lieve ye
care no greet for me. :" Tibet amt no
signs I know on, says Josh. Il was
too busy over We ter beller. l hadn t
no time" "Wa'al, We mought a bel
lered.a little fur looks sake. I weren't
so fur gone but what I'd a know'5. "
81 mought belIer a little now OF
'twould mend matters any"-this with
a twinkle in his eye. The old lady
seemed to think there was more to
this than appeared at first, and after
studying the matter for little time,
said: "'Pears ter me 'twould look q
leetle as though ye was sorry | come
| out ont"