The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-05-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A trim person-The milliner.
The best hand to hold in the game of
life is that Of your best girl Waterloo
Observer.
A new book is entitled "What Can
Woman Do9 An answer to the question
can be found by asking most any bald
headed man.-MarathOn Independent.
A Queen City girl eating souse,
Caught glimpse of beautiful mouse,
When the note that she reached,
As she stood up and screeched,
Would have drawn a $40, 900 house.
The old proverb says that Care will
kill a cat" If that is correct large
consignment of care can find employment
for some time in our back yard.
rick.
Young Man to Druggist-"Can you
give me anything to remove superfuous
hair2" Druggist, (thoughtfully scratch
ing his bald head d)-"Hem! why don't
you get married Somer0iLLe Journal.
''Is your wife acquainted with the dead
languages" asked the professor of New
man man. 'Maybe she is" was the reply,
''but the language she uses is entirely too
warm to have been dead very long."-
MiLloaukee Sentinel.
"What do you learn from the parable
of the wise and foolish virgins2" was
asked in Texas Sunday "That
we must watch every hour for the BRIDE
groom" a blushing Galveston girl re-
piled. - GaLgeStOn NeloS.
Cooked potatoes, says the american
Farmer, ''are eaten greedily by hogs"
Right you are. We have seen hog at
hotel take the last one out of the dish be-
fore any human being at the table had
bite. Burlington Ha,okeye.
Elephant trainers say that animal ex-
hibits great terror at the sight of a mouse.
This isn't the only respect in which the
animal resembles woman. 1t can't go
any distance without taking trunk with
it, Philadelphia Chronicle.
"You see this passage is marked a."
said the teacher: (" IF means forte, and
it means to sing it louder" "Forty
means louder, does it 2" asked the pupil.
Eyes" "Then when its marked forty it
should be sung like sixty. ."-Derrick.
II belong to one of the first families of
the city," said boasting youth. Yes"
was the reply his tailor. "Your family, 1
have been informed, is always the first in
asking credit when a new storekeeper
starts in your neighborhood. y Chicago
Sun.
Some French scientist announces that
bee can pull thirty times as much as a
horse in proportion to its size. A bee,
no doubt, can pull good deal when it
feels like pulling, but it is probably more
at home and less embarrassed when push
ing. Philadelphia call.
The ladies who live on Capitol hill,
Washington, have chosen Monday for re-
ception day. 1t is not stated, but they
probably do their washing one day later
in the week. Some society ladies must
resort to strange expedients to keep up
appearances. Herald.
Aspiring Artist must say it is very
inconsiderate of your father. (Sarcasti-
cally) | suppose if were pork-packer
like himself he would not object to our
marriage. Dutiful Daughter-Very likely
not. He says he prefers good pork to
bad pictures. .-Ne'O York Lye.
A young Alexandria miss
Was asked by her beau for kiss,
Demurely contented
She sweetly assented,
And their lips looked exactly like this;
%
Washington Hatchet.
| But her pa interrupted the bliss,
| And said: who's this young teller, missP
And without more ado
The young fellow flew,
| And his eyes looked exactly this;
90
-EUdnsUale Argus