Morning journal and courier., 1884-02-07
IMPOSSIBLE.

s'Is 1t wrong to cheat lawyerp" was re ] gently very ably discussed by members of 2 debating society. The conclusion arrived al was that it was not wrong, but impossible Exchange. 'Is 1t possible. Miss, that you do not know | the name of your best friends?' inquired a gentleman of lady. Certainly" sue re- piled: T don't even know what my own will | be year hence." l A poet sends In a contribution entitled l ''Why do I live?" After careful reading of | the twelve stanzas of the conundrum we are | reluctantly compelled to give it up.-Cincin, nati Saturday night. A reporter asked Chinaman if he expect ed to marry. The wicked heather made | answer: 'Me malice? No, sir. Malice no funnee; blette funnee single men, ale same Melican man. "-Free Press. To empty theater in case of fire the drop should be lowered. All the men will rush out by force of habit and the women will sit still, as usual in such cases, and a panic will be prevented. This suggestion is freely of fered for what 1t is worth.-Boston Tran script.
 'You gave my wife the wrong medicine, ? exclaimed man, entering drug store. q hope no harm has resulted" replied the right" ''How do you know it was the wrong medicine ?" tWhy, because it helped her immediately. ."-Arkansaw Traveller. Young Ultradude (who has come into the country to visit his grandfather, whom he has not seen for some years). You've not forgotten me, grandfather?' Old gentleman (slowly). 'Oh, no; think know you. Let earned anything, aren't you. .'-Harper's 8 Bazaar.
 Why he stopped: "Why have you discon- tinued the publication of your paper ?" was asked of the editor of the Weekly Mouth Piece. tWell, you see, several weeks ago l was taken sick and was compelled to miss an issue. Afterward, in looking over my books, I discovered that had made more on the number that didn't issue than on any num- Der that issued, so l thought if that's the way the newspaper business had turned I would fall in line and fight it out''-Arkan- saw Traveller.
 ''Go out and buy quart'' ''What did that lady say?" asked MT. Buyem to his con- hdential clerk. ''rd rather not repeat her words, sir,'' replied the celrk. "But I must know MT. PIume-must know, sir suppose must tell you. She said you were all business, but you lacked culture" ''So2" exclaimed MT. Buyem in astonishment. s'Lsck culture eh? Look here, MT. Plume, dye know you'd oughter told me O that long ago. Let's have some right away before ocr1mp 6 BIoWnarQ can geG aneaQ or us. Boston Transcript.
 HOW THE BITTER WASN'T BIT.
 Ned and Jimmy, little shavsrs
 Brothers dear-and mine
 Always hungry; any hour
 Suited them to dine.
 Once, when mother had some apples,
 Ned was given two;
 'FTake one down the yard to Jimmy,
 'T'othsr ones for you!"
 Thus sp.ke kind and thoughtful mother
 Ned walked slowly out
 From his birth, keen, cate and cautious,
 Never long in doubt.
 In each hand he turned the pippins,
 Sized them, pquinting sly:
 'Both alike; Jim loves an apple,
 But no more than I'
 Quick he bit a pice from Jimmy's,
 Then b.te from his;
 It worth five dollars
 To see Neds calm phiz
 ttHezes apple, JIm from pnother!"
 Why, it's bitten, Ned!"
 ''So is mine. Look, here's the other!,
 That bright youngster said.
 Jimmy, puzzled, took the apple.
 Ate 1t to it's core;
 Ned, serensly, put his luncheon
 With those gone before.
 Years have gped since gentle Jimmy
 Joined the cherubim;
 Ned still lives and of earths rAtions
 Gets what's due to him.
 -Puok.