The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-07-10
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
The dearest girl on earth is the one
that eats the most ice cream.
1t seems odd that a flying debtor
should cross the ocean to avoid the
bill-owes.
A shoemaker may not be able to-
breath his last, although he often eats
his awl.
An Ohio newspaper speaks of a man
being bruised by the emphatic ges'
ture of mule"
People learn wisdom by experience.
A man never wakes up his second ba
by to seeit laugh.
A New York stock broker was Bit
ten by dog few days ago. Inc
dog hasn't got over it yet.
The easiest way to mark table linen
leave the baby and blackberry pie
alone at the table for three minutes.
When you form good resolutions,
use them the same as you would faint
ing ladies at ball-carry them out
A miss is as good as mile, and
good for all the room she wants IN
crowded street car if she is finely
dressed
A young bride claimed that her hus-
band was model man. And ne was
His occupation was making dummies
for clothing stores.
Those persons who get up early 10
catch the worm need not hustle tnem-
selves. They can catch the worm
any time at the fruit stands.
The onion peeled in the kitchen,
The organ peeled by note,
And the bell peeled in thesraeplc,
When the sexton peeledli; ,o's.
This is the season when he men
have their hair cut 50 short that their
wives can use the top Of hubby's head
for nutmeg graters.
Passenger in a hurry-"1s this train
punctual?' Conductor -" Eyes, sir,
generally quarter of an hour late, to
the minute"
In union there is strength. In the
union of two souls in matrimony the
strength is sometimes on one side and
sometimes on the other.
A book has just been published
treating of the morality of plants.
And yet most all plants, as a regular
thing stay out all night.
Wnen young man walks with a
girl as though he is afraid some one
would see him, the girl is his sister.
If he walks so close to her as to nearly
crowd her against the fence, she is
some one else's sister.
Dear George" said the young wife
tenderly, as she stroked her husbands
Irving bang; shall l sing Some
Day?" Eyes DEAR" replied the heart
less wretch; "some day when Pm away
from home"
"See here" he said to his clerk, Il
don't mind letting you off a day now
and then to attend your grandtather's
funeral, but think you ought to have
the courtesy to send a few of the fish
around to my house"
"Why didn't / go to her assistance?"
said the man who staid in bed while
his wife laid out burglar. Young
man, I've had a number of tusseles
with the old gal, and knew that the
burglar had trouble enough without my
giving him any"
"Yes, you may come again next
Sunday evening; but" and she hesi-
tated "What is it, darling? Have I
given you pain ?" he asked, as she still
remained silent. "You didn't mean to,
I'm sure" she responded; "but next
time don't wear one of those collars
with the point turning outward"
WHAT ELSE COULD 1 DO!
Herlips were so near
That-what else could l do?
You'll be angry, l fear,
But her lips were near
Well, can't make it clear
Or explain it to you,
But--her lips were so near
That-what else could l do'
Papa" asked little boy, locking
up from his Sunday-school lesson,
what are the wages of sin?'" "The
wages of sin these days." replied the
old man. earnestly, depend upon cir.
cumstances, and ones opportunities and
business capacity. Bat they run up
into the thousands, my boy, they run
up into the thousands
Five children went home from cir
Gus in Dakota deeply impressed with
the feat of descending decline on a