Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-01-04
The Jury Agreed.

lie Jury AgFeeus
There was a lathy, long-eared young
man of twenty-three hanging around
the foot of Jefferson avenue, yesterday,
with his mouth watering for a chance to
talk with a policeman. When some one
asked him if he had been robbed or as
saulted, he proudly replied:
''Not very much! I'm thinking of
timing the force, and 1 want to ask a
few questions"
Il don't know about your making a
good officer" remarked an old bald
head, who was leaning against a tele-
graph pole.
"Why don't you?"
"Well, there's something more than
carrying a club around and answering
questions from strangers. Apoliceman
ought to know a rogue On sight"
"You bet he ought, and that's me
every time" replied the young man.
"Well, now, what do you say about
that man rel by the lamp-post?"
Il say he's a suspicious-looking char
acter."
eyes, so he is. 1t would be your duty
as an officer to question him and give
him to understand that you were up to
his rachel"
81 know it."
''But there is where you would fail.
Any one who has ever given any atten-
ton to pbysiognomy a see that you
lack moral courage"
81 lido, Ell! Maybe I dasn't walk over
there and ask him what he's hanging
around for?n
'Of course not. The shape of your
head-the set of your eyes-the coarse
fiber of your hair proves that you are
excessively cautious"
Don't you boiler afore you're hurt,
old chap" grinned the candidate, and
with that he walked straight across the
street and up to the man and queried:
''Say, mister, what are you hanging
around here for:?"
'None of your business" was the
prompt reply.
''Then IN make it my business! Who
are you, sir:?"
He didn't hear the answer. A bunch
Of knuckles shot out and landed on his
left eye and he had business on the
pavement ten feet away. The suspicious
character was arailroad baggage smash
er off duty, and after the blow he rubbed
his knuckles Off on his vest and saun-
tered into the depot.
"Didn't l OBSERVE said the bald
headed man, as he helped the young
man to his feet-'Iidn't [ observe that
you seemed lacking in some of the es-
s~entials?"
"You did, sir-you solemnly did,"
answered the young man, as he felt all
over his head to find the spot which
ached the worst, .sand I'll be gosh
hanged if the rest of the jury don't
agree with you! Some one lead me to a
seat on a salt barrel!'-Detrou Free
Press.
l.. 1t is a New Hampshire genius who
is credited with using an augur profit
ably at a ball game. Hundreds Of boys
found the view from an adjacent free
hill shut off by a tight fence. There
was a wild search forcracks, but the fis-
sures had been carefully battened. To
white a peep-hole would have been an
hours job. Then the Yankee drew an
augur and quickly bored through. An
eager throng pressed upon him with be-
seechingg requests for a loan of the tool.
Il wouldn't have this augur dulled for
anything" he said. ''but I'd just as soon
bore a few holes, though I've got to tax
you six cents per bore. Hand over a
nickel and I'll punch the board. First
come first served. Here we are.
Where'n you have it?" The man took
IN something like two dollars before the
demand for his services ceased.- Boston
Post.