Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1884-05-28

man liar"
--"Bef fore Marriage" she pouted,
you used to speak of my beautiful au-
burn locks, but now you call me red.
headed" "My dear" replied the
heartless man, marriage opens the eyes.
Before that event l was color blind"
1t is said that the wives of all
American humorists are invalids. We
believe it All writer's have a way of
taking home anything that they deem
especially funny and reading it to their
wives first. Poor things no wonder
they suffer.
The bang has fallen into disfavor
among the fashionable young ladies.
They never new the real hideousness
of the thing until it was adopted by the
giddy young men who sharpen their
teeth with cane heads and umbrella ham
dies
Within the past two weeks three
young girls, residing near Ashland, in
this State, have died from excessive
rope jumping. This should be warn
ing that this sort of exercise should be
INDUCED in with considerable modera-
tion.
A Dakota lawyer was recently
arrested for stealing wood, but such
was the power of his eloquence that he
made the jury believe that he was only
l. in i, ell nd hat
he was placing flowers on the grave of
his first wife.
A reporter of one of the Cincin-
natl morning papers during the riot
saw what he called in print "a sight so
terrible that he turned from it with a
shudder," and nobody can imagine
what it could have been, unless it was
loaded free-lunch counter kicked over
on the floor in the excitement of the
hour.
Now that emotional insanity is so
prevalent, especially in persons charged
with crime, the following is very apro-
pos: A man had met girl in a
lonely place and forcibly kissed her,
She was terrible indignant, and had him
arrested She gave an account on the
witness stand of how he gazed at her
intently, and then, suddenly throwing
his arms around her, imprinted kiss
upon her lips. The prisoner made no
defense, and the jury was expected to
promptly convict him ofassault. They
returned to the courtroom. 1.-The jn-
ju- jury w-w-would like to ask the lady
two questions" the foreman said. The
Judge consented, and she went on the
stand "D-d-did you wear that jj:ier-
sey that you've g-g-got on now ?""Yes,
sir" "And was your ha-ha-hair BIB
banged like that ?" Eyes, SIR" "Then,
your honor, we acquit the p-p-prisoner
on the grounds of unconditional insan-
ity"
Nothing presents a sadder COM
mentary upon the present condition of
society than the large number of fami-
lies, both in town and in the country,
but more especially in the latter, that
subscribe for no paper of any kind.
Hundreds and thousands of families are
thus growing up utterly ignorant of the
mighty events of the day. But who
can tell the vast amount of injury that
is being inflicted on the rising genera
tion-those who are to take our place
in the world at no distant day-grow-
ing up without knowledge of the :pres-
ent or any study of the past, this ignor-
ance, too, being imbued into them by
the sanction of those who should, and
doubtless do, know better did they only
think OF the injurious effects of their in
sane course Let the head Of every
family think of this and place in the
hands of those for whom he is respon-
sible the means of acquiring some
knowledge of the moving panorama in
which we act our different parts.
sT To Match that Bonnet Feath-
ers, ribbons, velvet can be colored to
match that new hat by using the Dia-
mond Dyes. l0c. for any color at the
druggists. Wells, Richardson & Co,
Burlington, Vt.