The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-03-14
WHOLE NO. 1855
81. DEER LODGE, MONTANA, MARCH A. 1884
WHY WE LAUGH.

Doctors motto-Patients and long suffer-
ing.
Egypt will be wanting to trade its army
for the American navy after awhile.-Phita.
deiphia Times.
When you see counterfeit coin on the
sidew ak, pick it up. You are liable to ar
rest if you try to pass Chicago Tribune.
"a pillar of brass by day and a pillar of
gas by night" is the poetlcal way in which
Congressman Wise speaks of Sunset Cox.
This is probably "why we laugh"
"Don't forget the poor" urges a country
editor. 1t isn't very often that an editor puts
in puff for himself, but occasionally he Is
driven to it by necessity y.-Birlington Free
Press. a..4E ...r. aa r"f@.a-
r sPocket billiard tables. 7" exclaimed Mrs.
Yeast, reading from the newspaper; "what
won't the human mind invent next? just
think Of billiard table to be folded up and
put in your pocket!"-Y Yonkers Statesman.
IS A Vermont man has a hen thirty-nine
years old. The other day hawk stole 1t,
but after an hour came back with broken
bill and three claws gone, put down the hen,
and took an old rubber boot in place OF it,
Boston Post.
1t has leaked out that unmarried women
all over the Northwest are forming leap year
clubs, and when spring opens they will swoop
down on the bachelors as the Assyrians of
old swope. This is believed TO be another
scheme worked up to drive immigration
into the Cnur d'Alene region.-Bismarck
Tribune.
~ want you to make my pants to set as
a. hxu
to Wisconsin street tailor, at the same time
pointing to late fashion plate. "Certainly,"
replied the tailor, "but I'll have to curve
them considerably, as you seem to have been
born especially for horseback riding" And
the customer Is wondering what the tailor
was driving at.
Colonel Percy Yerger Is one Of the most
popular criminal lawyers in Austin, says
Terds SJtings. Last Sunday the Colonefs
little boy Tommy was asked by his Sunday
school teacher "Tommy, the man who is
good In this world goes TO heaven; now wha:
becomes of the bad men who disobey the
laws Of God?" "Papa clears them" was the
response.
81 regard the use Of beer as the true tenn
perance principle. When / work all day
and am exhausted nothing helps me like
glass of beer. 1t assists nature, yos under
stand"
at makes a regular fool of me-" the friend
replied.
"Tbats what say. 1t assists nature."-
Exchange.
Two old colored women we're baptized in
the James river. One submitted quietly,
while the other came out of the water all
excitement, shouting, ~ saw Gabr'l! saw
Gabr'l right in the bottom OBJ de riber |!
Bress my heart for dat vishun OBJ glory"
"Hush your mouf, Dillsey," said the less
excitable one; "dat was muffin but q big
tarIepn. | done seed dat myself"
An old minister In Ohio seemed rather
opposed to the educated ministry. Said he:
"Why, my 'brethering,' every young man
who is going TO preach thinks he must be off
| to some college and study lot of Greek and
Latin. All nonsense! All wrong! What did
Peter and Paul know about Greek? Why,
not one word, my 'brethering.' No! Peter
and Paul preached in plain old English, and
soil l."
There is a little boy in this city whose
mother has been reading to him lately
Charles Follen Adams poem entitled
"Leedle Yawcob Strauss" the concluding
lines of which are:
81 prays der Lord dake anydines,
But leave dot Yawcob Strauss"
The other night, while saying his prayers,
the little boy rendered them as follows;
Now lay me down to sleep;
pray the Lord my soul to keep;
II ] should die before wake
prays der Lord dake anydings,
But leave dot Yawcob Strauss.
-SomerriRe Journal.