Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-08-10
Orr GRowLER.

We have not seen your lugubrious
coHntenance recently" we remarked, az
We entered the growlery. "Have you
been out Of the city,"
Yes; have been to Tacoma. Twas
tnere during the recent fire. At one
time thought Tacoma would be wiped
out OF existence. After experience
showed how fallible ia human reason.
Wiped out! Bless you, that is impossi.
ble. Burn every semblance of the work
OF human hands; let a cyclone sweep
its fearf2l blasts through the bluffs and
rocks OF Tacoma, and carry them to th4
center OF the ocean, and yet Tacoma
would live IN song and story while time
lasts. Herculaneum was buried with
the ashes of Vesuyius, bat HercuIaneum
still lives. Tacoma is immortal: it il
not OF the earth, earthly in one sense,
but terribly earthly in another. / took
dinner at the Tacoma hotel. I was
served with Tacoma soup which tasted
like water from Tacoma bay, and with
bash which tasted like little of every
thing ever placed before a hungry man.
read the Tacoma yetos, which con-
tained no news at all. 1 Was handed
the Tacoma Ledger, and found it not
pSsted, as It's eFdefs from the N. p.
maRnates had not arrived. something
had happened to the Tacoms engine
ranninR on the Tacoma rallroad.
strolled down Tacoma street. I saw a
classical looking gentleman gazirR over
the bluf dreamily toward Mourt Iaco-
MA, as he called 1t. always taought 1t
was Mount Rainier. he wIshsd he was
on It's very peak with a forty.foot tele-
scope looking at the two moon n Mars.
Then he sighed more painfully than
ever did Lady Macbeth in her somnaul.
buIistio walks. Sad mistake-sad mis-
take, he repeated. Strange taat Mr..
MADAM never heard of Tacoma, and
stranger still that Professor Hall of
Washington, the disooverer of the
moons, should have been SO disloyai,
80 unpatriotIc as to permit an Enslisn-
man ~ name one OF the moons Deipos,
wuiou means flight. and ths other Pho
bos, shich means fear, whom the patri-
UtlJ. poetic and expressive name OF Ia
cUDa which knows nothing of either
dtght Df fear, should have been given to
tne orightes. and smartest OF she war
x Jd's satellites. tell you IL will be bad
tor the moons, for nothing prospers un-
less named Tacoma. As to the other
moon. the SLOW, dun one, why, 1t might
70 called Seattle, whicA sounds some
thing like satellite, whios means an
attendant. Yoo ses the appropriateness
q 4. al.
the servants of Mnrs, bat Tacoma al
ways first, always ahead, always the
leader of Seattle.
81 was aboat to suggest to him that
he had better attend TO securing rooms
at the insane asylum without delay,
when the thought occurred that the
poor fellow was like Hamlet In England.
In Tacoma they are all insane on the
name OF Tacoma. yet they know il not.
Every thing III Tacoma Is named Taco
ma. saw bright five year-oid boy on
Tacoma street with toy express wagon
named Tacoma. In q pleasant mood
said, Familiarity:
Hello, sonny. Are you well?'
You should have seen the look Of in
dignation that Tacoma boy put on as he
replied:
My name is not sonny. My name is
Taoema.
"Ah, indeed! And what is your IA.
theirs manner" asked.
Some folks call my paw Tom, but
NAV calls him Big Tacoma, anu she
calls me Little Tacoma. Paw says when
have n little brother come l shall be
called Tacoma One and the baby brother
Tacoma Two"
But If q sister should conner" sug-
gested.
Well, then, NAV says she will call
me Little He Tacoma and the baby sis
ter Little She Tacoma. My little dogs
name is Pup Tacoma and my cats name
/, Kit Tacoma, aud"
got all l could hold, and, examining
my fingers In my ears, / rushed down
the hill at rapid pace.
saw a venerable gentleman of Afri
can descent trying to persuade long
cared animal, hItched TO a oart. to take
more of load than the said animal
felt disposed to drag mp hill. Among
the arguments employed we're mixed
threats aud promises, well seasoned with
a sprinkiing of blows With a long pole.
IL was "Git up. Tacoma, Gone, Taco
ma! Gee, now, Tacoma! hi, hi, Taco
mai Whoa Tacoma" Here another
venerable gentleman. but of Caucasian
blood, who had been listening To the
language of the aforesaid African, 70
marked:
My oolored friend, your remarks to
that miserable hybrid brute are very
inappropriate, II not actually untrue.
You say Git mp, Tacoma Tacoma is
already up. She has come, too. And
Tacoma never gees nor haws; she goes
straight ahead. Then the idea of say
ing whoa 70 Tacoma! Why, bless you,
there is no whoa to Tacoma. She never
stops-never will stop, especially 30 long
as she can borrow money and has a
Wright to back her."
Yes, sah," replied she FOUNDER Of
mule flesh; IL doxsnt want to back her,
but Use afeard dis yer mule is like dis
yer town-eot more load dan she kin
carry"
"rreason. treason! rank treason"
shouted the other gentleman, as he
rushed of 90 find policeman.
l was tempted to suggest that IL the
owner of the mule would change its
name, tho poor brute xoaid not have
such a burden on its mind nor have
such discouraged look on It's couuten-
'auce, But the second thought came
quickly, that TO name anything by any
other name than Tacoma would be i'm
.ossibIs in that locality.
1 went to the faeoma ohurch. The
preacher talked about Naomi, bat pro-
nounced that name 80 it sounded like
Tacoma. | saw q sQuAw on the beach
a =. A. n. a ~ s.sat tSN4r