National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-03-26
WIDOWS WAYS.
The Thin Man Expounds His Philosophy
in neRard 10 the Seductive Creatures.

The Thin Man Expounds His Philosophy
in Regard TO the Seductive Creatures.
Patsburg Chronic c. telegraph,
widows arc queer" said the thin man
with the cold tea scheme, ms he scratched his
nose with tho point of Barlow knife; "there
is something about them that is not to be
found in any other portion of tho human
race"
"Ovornow Of electricity p'rhaps," senten-
tiously suggested the thin man without
shirt collar.
"P'rhaps."
while the husband is alive he acts as a
sort of ground wire that thoy eau discharge
their excess Of tho element through" con-
tinued the thin man, in the style of one who
has long studied and philosophical upon a
subject Of deep personal importance. "A
woman possesses much moro electricity than
q man. Tits o necessity for the serious mis-
sion Of life she ful6lls This frequently ac-
cumulates, like on excess Of steam, and then
she has to blow off,"
you havo found IL 500" alphabetically
asked the man with the cold tea scheme.
1T has struck mo that way" replied the
thin man with n sigh.
you are ground wire, perhaps"
81 am ground wirc." answered the thin
man in low subdued tone of voice.
g have occasionally noticed that you
luohcu Us tuOuBn you Ddu DeB0 hITuCR Dy
lightning, but what | referred to was
woman without her ground wire--n widow.
There is something wonderfully fascinating
about them. They seem to belong to the
fraternity; to have taken all the degrees as
/ may say, and can give man the sign and
grip and claim full fellowship. If | may BIO
allowed tho expression, they know exactly
how to tickle him under the chin right where
his chin is the most ticklish And then they
have the nerve to do IL. There Is where
they hold such an advantage over the un-
married girls that come in competition with
them. While your miss is blushing and put
ting fellow to oil sorts OF desperate attempts
to make himself agreeable, your widow Is
quietly making him think he is the hand
soonest and smartest man in the world. You
see she puts him in good humor with him
self and then he Is sure to be In good humor
with her. She knows to an ounce, Just how
much fattery q man will take from woman,
and she also knows that this earth does not
contain the full amount. She is the terror of
her sex. The married women are afraid of
her, for she knows too much, and tho girls
detest her, for they feel she is rival in the
field with tactics Of which they are in sub
limo ignorance. Naturally this unhappy
position excites sympathy, and tho men view
her as a sacred trust bequeathed to them by
some departed ground wire that they are
bound to respect. Then they are 80 cozy,
comfortable, and confidential like. They toll
you all their little woes and troubles, and
hopes and annoyances, and tho first thing
you know they make you feel like father
to them.
"lu fact they are so warm and comforting
as widows that o man"
"That's enough" broke in the thin man
Don't go any farther. You picture is a
pretty one. Don't spoil it with bad frame
As widows they are angels, but"
AS wives, what are thoy2"
"Well, I'm married to one and not at lib
erty to say"