Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-03
The Gun Was Loaded But it Wouldn't
Shoot

Kit Warren IN AmericuS Republican.
/ attended a meeting of the Henderson
Houston county, debating society in the
year 1913. Mr.. Sol Henderson, the vener-
able and beloved citizen from whom the
town derived its name, was then in the
prime of life, a factor in all the useful
enterprises of the neighborhoOd, and, of
course, prominent member of the de-
batting society.
l have forgotten the subject for discus
sion, but remember it was one of sufficient
Importance to enlist public attention and
call out crowded house.
Mr.. Henderson, impressed with the
weight Of the subject and the Importance
Of sustaining his reputation, had prepared
a speech for the occasion with great
labor, and carefully committed it to men,
Dry. Night after night, during the two
weeks Of preparation, the lamp in his
room revealed the actions of the anxious
nquirer-sOmetimes reading, sometimes
writing, sometimes buried in reflection,
and always constant at his work, until
the late and lonesome hours came en-.
Everybody knew Mr.. Henderson was
loaded and his most formidable competi-
tors dreaded the havoc of the explosion.
Mr.. Henderson was, himself, well pleas
ed with his embryo grafton. "Many a
time and off, had he told it to the winds,
piped it amid the silent groves and min
gled its fluent music with the song of the
merry brook; time, time and again had he
rehearsed, before his looking-glass, the
smiles and frOwns and stamps and ges-
lures necessary to its graceful and ar
tistic delivery, and now he jestingly boast
ed that he would drive through, with a
six horse team"
Well, the night had come, the crowd
were there, the discussion commenced,
and directly Dir. HendersOn's time arriy-
ed. He arose. A perfect canopy of starry
eyes beamed on him, expectation stood
tiptOe, silence Teigned, and Henderson,
frightened out Of his wits, forgot every
word Of the speech. There he stood and
there we sat. His tongue couldn't bulge
a step beyond "Mr. Chairman;' there it
halted and took the studs. His face began
to redden with a sunset glow and behave
as though it were the respiratory crater
of a quinine volcano. He felt like a
hundred eyes were sticking in him and, as
if he was himself the very man who stands
pictured on the title page of the almanac.
He stammered, sWayed his arms at awk-
ward and irregular angles, leaned his
weight first on one foot and then on the
other, reached his hair, scratched his
head, swallowed spit and suddenly re-
membered his speech:
"AIr. Chairman, the remarks I am to
make on this occasion, sir, will be entire
ly off-hand, imprOmptu and eXtemporane-
Gus. They will watt no OdOrs of the mid
night lamp and lead forth no captured
thoughts, now prisOned and chained in
the dungeon of memory. What l shall
say is entirely unstudied and altogether
unprecedented. 1t will come from its
Ovarium, fresh, newborn and spontane-
GUS. Other gentlemen will address you
who have threaded the labyrinths Of this
theme with patient care and studious in
vestigatiOn. The streams of their elo-
quence may swell into torrents. augment
into rivers and expand into seas;' mine
will be but as the fountain that bubbles,
new, from the ground. In my Observa-
tons | will not be, at each point, like one
who is shaking hands with an old ac-
quaintance; the suggestions 1 am to pre-
sent Will be only such as may shine down,
with passing light-lambent sunbeams-
from the disk of this effulgent subject
lie now felt himself so imbued with the
spirit OF self-possession that he made a
pair of steps to the front, took the pitcher
in his hand and deliberately poured out a
glass of water and drank it. Three Young
men were whispering. "He needs a sign
board to direct him how to come to the
point" cor maybe he needs spectacles to
help him see it," "Ef the pint was
snake hit couldn't bite him and eff it had
the smallpox he wouldn't be in no danger
Nv catehin' it.' The last remark was
louder than the speaker intended; every
body heard it, general laugh followed
and the orator forgot where he left off. 81
think have about covered the grounds
and gone through with the arguments
that-that-ah. l think-thatis to say-I
think l have about ah-v ''about broke
down" remarked one Of the members, and
the assembly was again cOnYulsed with
laughter and Mr.. Henderson lost his en-
barrassment and the remnant of his
speech and sat down, shaking, from centre
to circumference, with merriment.