The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-09-17

Agirl in Turner, Me-, smokes, chewsj
drinks, swears, shaves and wears o mans
hat
A New York bank presidents wife calls
her husband % Honey" This may be be.
cause he is in a cell.-1eras Sjttags.
Women and girls own nearly one-half Of
the deposits in the savings banks of Massa-
chusetts having to their credit $ll7, $780,.
500.
A girl in Georgia, says the Ellijay Courier,
has drunk 800 bottles of laudanum during
the past year. But there is no limit to the
capabilities of Georgia girls in many direc-
tons.
A Colorado woman has discovered and
done the assessment work on fourteen min
ing claims. In addition to this she has kept
a hotel and supported her worthless hus-
band and two children.
So common has the expression "painting
the town red y got TO be in n Western settle.
ment, that one of the saloon keepers has
put the sign artists materials 3" in his
window, Boston Commercial Bulletin.
A young gentleman wishes to know which
is proper TO say on leaving young lady
friend after late call-good night or good
EVENING" Never tell lie, young man, say
good morning. Burlington Free Press
An eminent astronomer says :" it would
take ten years to photograph the heavens"
Judging by the time il takes for q man TO
get his photograph finished upon earth, we
should think it would.--BarliRgton Free
Press
Miss Scroogin has been married to Mr..
WunI Lung in Denver, Col. The happy
couple have adopted the name and arms of
Smith. To be truly fashionable the bride
should have had engraved on her cards
Mrs. Wun Lung Smith.
A Michigan justice of The peace adver.
tiscs Marriage ceremonies performed al
all hours of the day or night. Knots tied
after midnight fifty per cent. extra" West
ern enterprise is something astonishing.
burlington Free Press.
Misfortunes never come sing-ly,n sighed
young Popinjay, as Miss Slingemup, after
rendering vocal selection in q mixed conf
pany, mistook the applause of relief for an
encore, and returned to the instrument 10
begin over again. -Rarlington Free Press
Captain Joe," the local chief of the
Washoe Indians, says that there is q "a law
living in the outskirts of Carson, New, who
is nearly $50 years old. Her grandson, at
the age of ninety, was one Of General FIR.
mont's guides when he crossed tho plains.
A Buffalo lady went out calling recently
leaving servant in charge of her house
On one of her calls she was surprised to
have her ring answered by her own servant.
The girl had left her old situation and
found new one during her mistress alb.
sence.
On some of the sheep ranches in the
Western territories there ore % many ns
$780, 900 sheep. Shearing begins in Sep.
tsnher, and October is busy season. The
sight 81 from 800 10 400 men at work, each
clipping o sheep in dextrous manner, is
very animated.
The Inter Idaho has q cheerful desc,ip.
ton OF place called " Hell's Half Acre."
valley situated in the lava beds about fifteen
miles south Of Shoshone City. This poin,
seems to havo boen rendezvous for gang
of thieves and murderers, the remains of
many victims having been found.
The Rev. DR.. Henry III. Scudder of Chi
cago, who was for many years missionary
in India, expresses the opinion that for
unmixed wickedness and utter moral do.
pravity no city of Asia could equal Chicago
or New York, and that this continent has
class of villains lower and meaner than
the lowest and meanest in India or China
Fitzgoober, in the past few weeks, has
developed quite talent for writing short,
humorous paragraphs. OF this trait no is
very proud, and never loses an opportunity
for letting the citizens of Atlanta know ii.
The other day he approached q crowd of
gentlemen on o corner, and soon turned
the conversation to his brilliant efforts
Say" he said to Plunkett, "have you
read my last bit of humor 2" 81 hope So
sadly mused Pluckett turning softly away,
leaving Fitzgoober alone, wondering whether
he had been insulted or not.-Atlanta Cen.
stitution.