Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-04-29
BRIGHT BITS.

BELLA asks: "What is the best thing to
feed parrot On2" If the parrot belonged to
US we'd feed it on Paris green or arsenic
Harrisburg telegram.
AN English journal says no poet has yet
worn the garter The Sweet Singer of Michl-
gan demolishes this assertion by declaring
that she wears two.-NOrrtst0aon Herald
Mr.. TALMAGE advises married people to
avoid first quarrels. As Mr.. Talmage suggests
no other scheme for finding out which Is boss,
the first quarrels are likely to go on.-Grdph'c.
LIFE is like a game Of copenhagen. Men
work themselves half to death for an unwlll-
ing kiss, and the kiss does not turn out such
great thing afteritis won.-PhttddetphtG CAL.
A NEIGHBoRING paper, reporting a recent
social, says: "The opening piece was rendered
by mule quartette.' The reporter wrote
it ''male quartette," but the composltor knew
better.-OU CitV Derrick.
4 MINISTER suddenly stopped in his sermon
and sang a hymn. "If the members of the
choir are to do the talking he explained,
"they certainly will permit me to do the sing,
ing" And then things in the nelghborhood
Of the organ became more qulet.-Phftddet-
phiG call.
ELEVEN thousand dollars worth of ink was
used by the Post Office Department last year
in stamping and cancelng letters. An
economically disposed person thinks that II
the government would permit Cancelled
stamps to be reused much of this expense
might be saved; but the government never
did 90 very strong on ec0nOmy.-9 orrtst0tcn
Herald.
"WHAT kind OF a looking man was it that
called Jones a liars" asked Mrs. Bangle of
her husband. oh he was short and stout,
with blue eyes, light hair. and a nee re-
pousse-" ''Nez retrOusse, my dear" cor
rected Mrs. B. 'RepOusse means hammered
or pounded" s'Thank you, love-" rejoined
Bangle "Then that is just the word to de-
scribe it when Jones got done with him.
life.
TWAS night. and she stood at the open door,
Looking abroad on the moOnlit earth,
Her hand was clasped to her lhroDDlhg hedrt,
She mOaned and painted for all she was
worth.
Her ewes were lustrous, her cheeks afame.--
son what is this woe my frame WlthlnF
And the west wind sobbed to her strained
you've eaten too heavy of tar-r apin."
Philddelphia CAL.
The new minister was making his first call.
As his eyes became accustomed TO the sub
dued light of the parlOr he perceived pretty
little girl seated upon the piano stool. "Prac-
ticing | SUPPOSE" YES" she simpered
sweety. "How long have you been learn
lneg" About six months" Are your pa
rents living2" 'Mother is, but father died
three weeks after l began taking lessons,
and she wiped away {, tear with the corner OF
her apron. "HOw sad. What did he dle or
"He committed suicide" -BrookIy7e EGGte.
MARY McDONALD returned from three
months sojourn at the Island. FOrr hours
later she smiled Familiarity in the face of JUS
tice Murray at the YOrkville Police Court
WHATS the matter now, Mary :" "Naw-
thing, sorr" "Why can't you let liquor
alone ?" Il do, sorr." Then how does it
happen that the policeman had TO take you TO
tbe station i'm a Wheelbarrow - II was say
sick, sorr" ''seasck - eyes, sOrr. / Grass
ed the Aist river this marnln' from the Is
land and the surf was too sthrOng for me
poor weak head" ''YOu will have a chance
to test the power of the surf and the weak
ness of your head again. Six months. "-Ne1o
yOgE SIM