, 1884-01-24
Lime Kiln Club.

We have been called together hastily
today said the president. he paused
TIL the lIveGng of a JOINT of stove pipe
should ceaSe,"Iu accordance with the rule
of uur clubwhIch constitute three mem
/ hers quorum, and their place of meet
. ing tn b' anywhere where their hats are
off; our hats ha"penIng to be oil we will
/ proceed 10 business"
/ Records of the last meeting a '.1s pub
+ lIs ted IN the Argos. and the resignation
/ Of the late secretary accepted. with an
eloquent tribute Of respect for his wOrti
/ by The orator Of the club. The presl-
dent ordered No. :}3 to ofliciate as secre
{ taFy hereafter. He tried To- decline, but
was assured that If he failed t. obey the
orders of the presiding officer, his hat
would be iammaI over his ewes, and lie
/ bee ANONYMOUSLY hurled to the street;
he iucoutinently accelted. and seating
himself oil the fiat surface of No. s
cooking range, proceeded with piece of
back lead and Il ShiaGie to jOt down the
remarks of the club The roll of mem
brrs was called ,ani it was found that less
than 30 names of prominent citizens are
enrolled as active members of tins liter
AIRY and scientific club.
The names of Andrew Weymouth.
Frank Hastings, Herbert Rurkett and
Chas. II. Jones We're proposed, and unan-
lmOuSly elected. The names of Rustler,
BHstler and TuSslcr were next proposed,
when the silent man rose to a question
OF privilege. Il can unde stand abou
Rust er and Bustler said he, but Tussler
Is new-why TUssler:" The orator re-
marked that Tussler is we'll kown man
who dyes his hair. and gets his name
from tuSSling the girls about in the ball
room. The silent man here waxed elo
quent. Il am constitute lnally and
diametrically opposed to ad hitting to
membership in this club, any one who
dyes his hair, or signs false names to his
writing; both are calculated to deceive;
look at our venerable president; if he
should dye his hair, the ladies would
think he was only forty-ive years I'D,
and 1t would be a race between the par
sons and the major to see who cOGld Sc
cure the marriage fee. No, let every tub
stand on its own bottom. If the tuD is
white or gray, or dark slate, colored like
Downs house, don't dye it black; and
what do those false names mean?" The
silent man was informed that they were
only nOmmeS de plume well, cOntiu-
ued the silent member, if man wants to
be named for pen why don't he call
himself elliott, or SpenceTian, or Com
mercial, or any other name such as pens
are cal ed by. l can go Rustler and
Bustler, but for a man to dye his hair
and call himself Tussler. / object. Sup
pose that George Washington or George
Frances Train had signed their names
elliott, or Goose Quill, would this
American nation have reached its
present light OF glory? L think not, and
l move that the names of Rustler, Bust
Ter and Tussler be laid on the table,
which was SO ordered.
The president here remarked that the
young men and women when admitted
as spectators at the meetings of the club,
are prone to indulge in unseemly
mirth, which is to be regretted. Said
our polished successor of Chesterfield,
1T is considered bad form and vulgar, TO
crack peanuts and jokes in the concert or
lecture room; or whi Iper or giggle in
church; or to put brass buttons or tin
quarters in the church plate; but how
much more discreditable for boys and
| girls to show inattention to the scientific
deliberations of this ciubr'
1t was then ordered that "SpadeS" be
appoined Janitor, and hereafter when any
rude boys shall disturb our meetings
they should be removed by the janitor,
and duly spanked, Boss Smith having
presented the eclub with bunch of shing
les for the purpose. The order which
will be adopted hereafter on such oc-
casions will be these simple words
Hoist yOu' spdnEer," of which all the
members will take due notice, and assist
the janitor in the performance of his duty
for we must and will have order, and not
chaos and confusion. The member from
| Fowler's corner here remarked that he
| l.vT,a,.fa1 fI.ncn IL In tr,,
every pulrit, and every platform where
meetings are disturbed by profant
| ouths, and he proposed that q vote OF
thanks be pres nted to Mr.. B Jss Smith
for the bundle o.. spankers presented t.
the club, which was passed and SO re
corded.
A member announced that the Port
Admiral has kindly rendered the use OF
his telescope, 10 enable the club to ex
anime the comet, and also to endeavor to
discover the cause of Il e red light in the
sky. The thanks of the club were there
upon rendered to the Port Admiral, and
the president announced that the neX'
meeting of the club will be held on the
first clear night. in the observatory
of the Hotel Delgardno. Bro. Delgard-
no having kindly offered the ciuJ the
use of his observatory free Of charge.
| he ESdGt Il
from a newly elec' ed brother. who stated
that he had intended to have been pres.
eut at this meeting, and saluted tine
club in honor of having been admitted a.
a member by playing a solo on his Z fat
cornct, but unfortunately some weggisL
| friend had filled his corpet with soap, ana
it gave forth very uncertain sound. He
pr missed, however, as soon as he cau
clean 1t properly, to fill the air with
clarion notes. The apology was accepted
and placed on file.
The member from Fowler's corner
remarked that thus far the ARGUS had
been the Official organ of the Lime Kiln
Club. but in view of the rapid growth oi
our city, and the desire of this club to
disseminate useful linformation.hem moved
tnat the entire press of Port Townsend
be invited to send reporters to our meet
ings, provided they can find where we
meet, which motion was seconded by the
silent man, and unanimously carried.
The meeting was then adjourned to
convene in Dalgardno's observatory the
first fair night; the signal to be
three rapid strokes, three times repeated,
to be made with stuffed club on one of
the orators big tin pans.
ATTEST 339 SECRETARY.
As0-sNE