davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
Cou.ntin. Kisses.

Perhaps of all nations in the world
the French are more given to the
practice of statistics, and in carrying
out they take into consideration all
manner of subjects which would never
enter the minds of other people. AS
case in point, it is narrated of a
Frenchman who recently died, that on
his wedding day, some twenty years
ago, he took the resolution OF keeping
yearly record of the number of kisses
exchanged with his wife until their
union became severed by death of one
or the other. He was destined to be
the first to go, but when on his sick
bed, foreseeing that he would not re-
cover, he begged friend to let the
world know the result Of his twenty
years of account keeping. During the
first year of welded life the kisses ex-
changed reached the colossal figure of
36,500, or an average of 100 day, but
in the following twelve months there
was a notable decrease, not more than
10000 being inscribed on his register !;
whilst the third year shows still
greater falling of, the average number
of kisses being but ten day.
After the lapse of five years a fur
ther reduction is recorded
and the account keepers task was
simplifed, for only two kisses were
exchanged during each twenty four
hours-one in the morning on rising
and the other on retiring to rest.
Later on, during the last ten years Of
his married life, they only kissed each
other on leaving for or returning from
a journey, and he had hence very
little trouble in making M his animal
domestic statistics. Now, there was
possibly very little diminution of
affection, Notwithstanding this omni-
GUS looking record; it goes more to
prove that the disuse arose from ia
miliarity rather than from estrange-
ment. Take the ease of a mans chill
dren for example he fondles and kiss
es ain infant much more than he does
the same child as it increases in
growth but who can say that his
affection is less for daughter in the
ripeness of womanhood than it was
for her when lying in her cradle hall
or wholly unconscious of his love?
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
Rank EsH E.gEmrs.

1t is noticeable that the old criminal
classes arc rapidly disappearing; and
that new and elegant offences, such as
speculation and ombezzlement are
taking the place Of the old crimes,
which were mainly violent ones. The
highwayman, once so picturesque
robber, expired witA the century, and
his place was taken by the big burglar,
the king Of whom was the bank bur
glar That interesting robber is on
the decline and is rapidly dying out
like his predecessor, the highwayman,
There is not in the whole country,
said one of our leading detectives the
other day, the making of regular
gang of first-class bank burglars. The
old professionals have either died or
been arrested and put away in prison,
and they neglected to teach their art
to the younger men. Bank robbery,
at least by means of jimmies and
other cracksmen's tools, is almost
unknown to-day and the robbing is
now done from within the bank, and
is called dcfalcation. In fine, this
crime has improved with our civiliza
| ton it is no longer a mere matter oi
strength or nerve, but piece of finan
cial skill and "smartness," backed bya
double set of books.
1t is doubtful, however, whether tkt
world will appreciate or relish thi'
change. The new system is less clum
sy and'easier than the old, and, as 1
natural consequence, more banks are
robbed, and these banks far more sat
isfactorily and thoroughly despoile(
than they were twenty years ago
One bank robbery year was infre
quent we seldom pass a month nov
without hearing of Irregularities OF
the part of the cashier or president o
some exploded concern. The law dis
covered how to deal with the big banl
burglars of old, and crushed then
Cannot it discover an equally success
full mode of dealing with their success
ors, the defaulters and embezzlers?
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
Saratoga H.Ool1ing-Glass.

Out Of the next twenty women who
pass that mirror" said to my com
panion, as we sat in hotel parlor,
"let us count how many inspect them
selves in it."
She agreed, and when the twenty
had gone by asked me for report
/ said that fifteen had contemplated
their own reflections,
~ accept your figures" she retorted,
"and you must accept mine, While
you took note of those tewnty women
l watched the seventeen men who
passed the same glass-only one of
whom failed to review himself"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
A Miserable MAN.

"Watch that trunk" said the driver
OF stage-coach to a negro passenger,
"and if it falls off, tell me-
"All right, sah."
The coach had gone quite dis
tance when the driver, looking back,
asked;
"Is that trunk all right?"
"Doan' know, sab. 1t FELL"
"WhatW
"Fell off bout three miles back yam
der"
"Why in the thunder didn't you tell
me?"
didn't low dat yer wuz in er
hurry"
II told you to tell me if it fell"
"Wall, amt ] dun tole yer. Yer
didn't say ter tell yer when it fell.
'Clar' ter goodness de common white
folks is er gettin' so cuis dat er tell
gent pusson kahn hardly un'erstan'
'em. Oh, I'll get off ef yer say So"
proceeding to climb down. "Hab er
fine time or findin' dat trunk, er haw,
haw. Forgets de time dat yer fused
to len me er quarter Now yer's got
dat trunk ter pay fur, haw, haw. Say,
gennerman," addressing a passenger,
"wush yer'd han down my baggage
Dat amt de one. De udder one is it,
No tain't, don't belebe. Fore de
Lawd, dat wuz my trunk whut fell off!
Did anybody eber see sich er eaper?
Er homes man amt got no show
Dribe on yer miserable 'trapshun,
an let dis miserable man die in de
shape"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
Sake OF w omen.

A correspondent OF the Baltimore
San, writing from Morocco, speaks of
the sale of girl which he Witnessed
The girl was being brought in by the
Morocco gate on the road from the
city Of Morocco. She was nude,
comcly of face and figure, with lage,
dreamy, lovely eyes and streaming
long black hair. Her color was of that
Olivian type which SHOWS the red
blood coursing in her veins. She was
of medium height and aged about 16
years. Four old Arab dealers" garb-
ed in all the tinsel and glitter of the
orient, guarded this girl as if she she
were an Amazon ofstrength and PROV
ess. One old Arab in a loud voice
cried out her merits and nationality
as the group passed on to the centre
of the town. Hating, the whole par
ty was suddenly surrounded by in
tending buyers, both Christian and
pagan. They came up to the crouch
ing girl, and pulled her arms to and
fro, opened her mouth and looked at
her teeth, made her stand erect and
then haggled over the price. "She's
worth one hundred dollars" says the
Arabs in one simultaneous cry, "but
will let her go for 800 if you take hel
now." Our dragoman translates and
tells us how she will go to Egypt and
fetch 5000 at first bid.
Some of these Timbustoo girls are a
pale white complexion, and nearly all
brought to this "market" have origi-
mated in the Soudan. In nine cases
out Of ten these girls are remnants ol
sacked Soudan villages, where the in
vading Turk, and more generally the
trading Arab, destroys everything but
the rising generation, which they sci
at Timbuctoo or elsewhere, and ther
little speculative ventures down here
at Magador In the interior of this
great empire this trading is more Wig
orous, and some European residents
diplomatic and civic, have bough
Timbuctoo slaves cheap and often
The French slavetrader may yet com,
to be well known outside of Moroc
co, together with his his doings with
in.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06

The wreck of the Talapoosa was ex-
amined by three divers, who made q
thorough examination of the damage.
The break in the hull is eighteen feet
long and on top, cut into the deck,
seven and half feet. The cut ex-
tends downward some eighteen or
twenty feet to the sand, in which the
steamer is becoming EMBEDDED. Hatch
ways, coverings and awnings are all
gone. The entrances to the saloon
are all blocked up with floating debris.
The heel of the foremast is gone en-
tirely 1t would cost large sum to
raise the ship. Careful search was
made for bodies, but none were found.
No attempt was made to save any of
the cargo, as a simple examination on
ly was intended.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06

confidence in the Navy Departmet as
at present organized. He called at
tention to the fact that much is said
about the probable foreign policy o.
the Presidential candidates, and that
it is claimed that Blaine's will be
purely American and dashing. Mr..
Hendricks said, "His South American
policy was neither Of course we
know what vote this claim is intended
to reach. | think it will fail-that
vote is too intelligent. He called at
tention to the platforms of both par
ties and said they do not differ mate
rally on the subject. He then con-
trasted two cases: That of Morton
Kotzta under Democratic administra-
ton and that of McSweeny under
Blaine as Secretary of state. He said
in the Kotzta case, the courage of
Capt. Ingram of the navay who de-
manded the release of Kotzta and
learning the ability of Secretar Marcy
not only restored Kotzta to his liberty
and his rights, but established the
same rights in favor of every emigrant
to this country. The case gave to our
country a great position and influence
among other nations. After reviewing
the McSweeny case, he concluded as
follows:
Was it not enough-that Mr.. Blaine
was informed that an American citi-
zen was confined in British Jail, and
that he had been guilty of no viola
ton of law had been made against
him? Could his duty be palmer, OIL
its neglect more fragrant? Had Mar
cy been Secretary of State at the time
would McSweeny have languished il
prison fol ton Hdoiittfiiss?9 months? Would HI:
wife's letter have lain unnoticed in Tho
State Department. Under Marcy
American rights were vindicted; un
der Blaine they were neglected. No
long since l made the acquaintance o
Governor Cleveland. | found hin
affable and courteous, cloar and dis
tinct in his views and strong and di
rect in the expression of his purpose
He seemed to me as free from tn,
cOncealments and arts of the dema
goguc as any man | know. AS far a
| could Judge in single conversation
} | thought him in a marked degre
governed in his official life by his con
victions OF duty. You do not expec
him to escape criticism upon his off
cial life. That can hardly be fortunat
of any candidate. Touching that
; believe his motives have not bee
impugned nor his honesty questioned
: In respect to his private life, we wi
, not accompany his defamers in thei
search for II ground Of accusation bac
! of the overwhelming vindication b
t his neighbors, in three political col
| tests OF extraordinary brilliancy an
] success.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
NO. 26.
COMET SPARKS,
Ben Butler is an old a double $.

Ben Butler is an old double S.
Is it right for man to marry the
sister OF his widow?
Ol piety how many frauds are COM
mitted in thy name1 fff'
Republican party: Give me offices
or give me death.
The conscience of a politician is
made OF sttechable material.
Alter man came woman, and she
has been after him ever since.
We don't blame Greedy, at this sea-
son, for wanting to be in an ice house.
Beneath this slab lies jim Blaine,
man who fought, but taught in vain.
Campaign motto Scandals can nev-
er be told enough, though truth did
ever sleep.
Now is the time when the lazy
school boy moves with weary step to
the call of the bell.
II man reads all the papers of this
time, said a writer, he will often have
to do, as the flea does, skip.
Ben not only stole the spoons, but
he stole the thoughts and some OF the
language of his letter of acceptance.
Somebody ought to publish the
market for votes. The politicians
ought to be kept posted on this matter.
If Pomcroy the nominee of the
American Prohibition party docs not
hurry up with his letter of acceptance
he will not get vote.
Why are some meu in conversation
like man on the hind end of a ca
boose? Because they never see any
thing till it is past.
A gentleman talking of his buggy to
and old mountainecr said, at is very
elastic" The mountaineer agreed
with him and replied that he had no
doubt that it would last a long time.
If a body meet a body coming through the corn,
II a body Kiss body need body scorn.
If body meet body coming through the oats,
If a body kiss body need a body--shaw.
| If body meet a body coming through the peas,
If body kiss body need a body sneeze.
If body meet body coming through the grass
If body kiss body need body--we can't find
rhyme.
A dashing young lady stepped into
a drug store and asked for a dose of
castor oil mixed with something that
would destroy its unpleasant taste.
The clerk fumbled about the bottles,
talking all the while to the pretty Miss.
Alter a moment he invited her to have
a glass of soda water. She accepted,
drank it with zest and thanked the
clerk for his kindness. "Now," said
she,ss" ss"have you the oil ready" "You
drank the oil in the soda water"
blandly replied the clerk. "My heav-
ems" said the girl, Il wanted the oil
for my grandmother"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
A Good one for Booth.

Edwin Booth was once playing
Petruchio with an actress who was
considerably larger than himself, and
he thought she let go the whip too
readily when, as Petruchio, he wrested
it from the hand of Katharine. So,
after the play was over, he said "You
must hold on to the whip with more
firmness tomorrow night. Grasp it as
hard as you can; I'll get it away from
you, never fear" The next perform
ance Of Shakespeare's flaming of the
Shrew" came, and the melancholy-eyed
tragedian, who, for the nonce, was
essaying comedy, attempted to take
the instrument of flagellation from
his female Support. 1t was no use.
She held on to it with grasp of iron,
and the audience soon began to see
the joke, and applauded the actress to
the echo. Finally, out of pure good
nature, she unloosed her hold and the
play proceeded, When the curtain
fell the actor had no further advice tc
give.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
Plantation Philosophy.

1t amt the man whut reads de mos
dat thinks ne mos. 1t amt de pus-
son whut eats de mos dat's dc strong
es'.
De pusson whut deber hated nobody
amt apt ter lub nobody. Warm wa
ter amt good ter scald wild nor quench
thirst.
Widout dom anything ter deserbit,
de owl hab gained de name O bein
wise. Dis is jest becase he's got er
big head an er mouie dat amt allus
open. 1t amt sense, dough, dat keeps
de OWLS mouf shct, fur when he do
open it he kahn say nothin'. De
tongue dat is KEEP still on account o
sense, says somethin, smart when il
do speak. ."--Arkansaw Traveller.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06

Speaking few days ago of his run
ming for the Presidency and the
charge of the newspapers that he only
wants notoriety, Butler said to
friend;
81 have made my mark already and
my name will shine in the history OF
this country as long as Il Q
country stands. The children
who play about the common in 1850
may look upon my face in bronze
. o1g the monuments to the heroes
of the previous century. If they see
among the group the faces Of any Of
the present Boston editors / am awful
ly mistaken"
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
The Cholera Germ.

That tho cause OF cholera is a micro
scopic organism was first recognized
in 1854 by Fillippo Pacini, of Florence
the parasite being in 1882 classified by
Tommasi-Crudcli among the schizo-
myceti, or germs which multiply by
simple division. Pacini supposed that
the organism attacked the mucous
membrane of the intestines, but his
doctrine was ridiculed or disregarded
until the same conclusion was reached
by the commission OF eminent German
pathologists which has just invcstoga-
ted the subject in Egypt. The cholera
germ multiplics in the soil where the
oxcretions of cholera patients have
found their way; but it may also find
an abiding place in bedTlinen which
has been fouled by such excretions
and washed without disinfectants, as
was shown in 1856, when a poor Tus-
can woman died with cholera received
from linen which had been infected
an entire year before. Tommasi
Crudeli remarks that cholera in Eu
rope is always an importation
from the east, never becoming accli
matized like smallpox, and that il
becomes epidemic only when the ex
cretions containing the germ fine
a soil favorable to its multiplied
ton.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06
Although the Greedy exposition was

Although the Greedy exposition was
several years in the neighborhood of
the north pole, it returned home with
out discovering why ice always freezes
with the slippery side up.-Philndel-
phia Chroaicle-Herdld.
n. Y. Herald.-It is confidently assert
ed that if Cleveland gets his party
vote, or anything like it in New York,
New Jersey, Connecticut and Ohio,
those states through Independent Re-
publican aid, will be enrolled in the
Democratic columns.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-09-06

Perhaps one of the most touching
omissions Of the campaign is that no
one has suggested the withdrawal Of
st. John.-BrookIyn Eagle.
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Th.: reason many cannot get cured OF sem
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Il. SP I'm n r. Y,
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Nervous and phys
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Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1884-04-05
The Great English Remedy

Is a never failin
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Debility, Exhaus-
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L o S t Manhood,
Iupotency, Pros
tatorrhsa, Paraly-
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rible effects OF
Self Abuse, youth
full fo.lies aud ex-
naSsas in p1atTrer