The Red Cloud chief., 1884-11-21
The CLUB.


Seoos and Noosense ero@ tbs efcqarof
and Eruaiss Brother Gardner
Brother Gardner announced the fol-
lowing new legends io b. hung On the
walls during the fall and winter term:
"a b;goi am mo to be feerei dan q
fgic."
You Kin silence \ man by knockin'
him down. but it takes Argument To oon-
yirc- him
Human na;ur' kin sometimes b. de
pended on cher night. but It's de- SAFES.
way TO take q note of hand fur il
"A mans rating am no, how much
be can run in debt. but how nigh he kin
squsr up ebery Saturday night"
Industry Am sarfin to bring plenty
an economy neber goes t'arfui in win
ter
Between sayin' muffin an sElkin'
too much de world leans 10 dc man who
holds his tongue
Our opinion Of ourselves makes Us
all grea, men.
Il would de facs." contin-
ued the President. dat lie Hon. Sham
boo Smith VI Kentucky. has appealed TO
di. club fur funds TO start him out on DE-
road 10 lecktur' on de subjick Of Do
We Fulfill Our Missions?' While be am
not n member of di, club he seems 10 be-
a pusson Wild a des!ah % aid in de pro-
gress Of de world. an We viii take up \
coll-ckshun fur his benefit Sir Isaac
Walpole. will YOU pass 4. hat?
The hat was passed and the collec-
ton made and turned over To the Presi-
dent. who counted up the change and
said:
DE sum total figgers up nineteen
cents. includin' a dime wild u hole IN il.
De money will be for arded To de Hon.
Shamboo. an be can start j. soon II he
plca-es.'
The Secretary announced a communi-
cation from Mansfield. Mass. Offering "A
rev variety 81 sunf'ower seeds 10 mem-
hers of the clrb al special rates. and in
viting a cash offer from the museum for
the skulls of several celebrated murder
ers.
..Ize afraid we can't trade wild him."
replied the President. after a brief con-
sultation with the Committee on Agri-
culture. '.Dis club doan' run to sun
flowers Wort cent. an our line of rel
les doan' inclOode any skull lower in de
scale Of society dan a member of de
Logislachur.
Giveadam Jones here arose 10 make
an inquiry, and when his presence had
been officially recognized he asked if
the club believed in the doctrine of the
survival of the tittest. Brother Gardner
scratched his head and seemed To he
considerably p~erplcAed. and Giyeadam
continued:
lin case we doan' it am an ac-
acknowledgements that the imbccilc an the
idlsr hev de same rights an privileges
n de statesman an de representative of
industry. In case we DO. we who hev
survived am consequently Il. %iitte.t. an
squar' deci,un i'm de case tonight
"Brudder Jones. who put Won up 10
dis businesS?' asked the President. in q
voice full of solemn warning.
There was ar interval Of silence so
deep and painful that Elder Toots could
be- heard breathing As he pared down
his corn with a borrowed jack-knife.
II reckon l sor o put myself up to
it, sah,' came the answer at last.
well. you sot down to once! On
all proper occashuns dis club stands
ready to elucidate its doctrines an give
its reasons. but dis an not one Of dc DC
cashuns. While de iittest orter an may
survive. doan' fiattcr ycrself dat bekasc
We hey ou.lived . heap of odder folks
dat YOU am any better dan You orter
be. or dat your testimony in \ ease of
'sauit an battery would pas, unqucs-
toned ebcn by n one-hoss lawyer
Detroit Free Press.