The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1884-03-21
HUMeReUs.

@0ANAysN' fk1*Yas sflts
|asas ba ed p 5sa ---@-.sasa al "A az.
A boy Ia New York state has swal--
LEVIED . Tin whistle. We are very
sorry for. the wAlstle. ! rse,a.q go.
An amateur pnnster says he has
seen . house fiy-we thought 1t was
enly the chimney iiue. 60. = as =
'Teqsa marriage. .notlcei "No cards,
no cake, no flowers, no thanks, no re-l
grets, hobody's business" i'H g
Why = q washerworaan like q
navigator 2, because she spreads her
sheets, crosses the line and goes from
pole 70 pole. sa'tl -s~ ss'aaaaa l4a.,f .
II IL said that the reason why Bis
mark ohjocts 30 the American bog Ia
that he doesn't propose to have q rival
while he lives. 80 fa7' <7s;e1 = 81 2
An exchange says Ave petrlied
lgulls'eggs have, been discovered 10
California, Scientists deny that. q
petrltied gull can lay ~ egg. ss s..s
This was the very concise verdict
Of q ceroner's jury In Idaho: eve
lind that the deceased. came 70 his
death by calling Tom watkins IL
ar.l' 1 E-s' iaA sla.ev Sis sas 8
A souvenir OF Moutroal's carnival
: Is q model with . Cahsda thistle on
enc side and q Canada goose on the
other. The geese Is said 70 DO apOr-
uA''a essse# sasa as s,aa .sast q
"No, indeed" said Mrs. Paryenu,
ono, I don't think she's o fine leek-
log woman at all. She may have
nice ey os, but, mercy me, she's col
lno physIc." ......
| "Isaac," says q Hanever-stres,
merchant, "mark up everything Ia
the store 800 per ceat. Here come.
O State House clerk what wants
trust" ''1 4.sv .ea l.ses q
Il 81 4
A Torento man waited until hC
was eighty-thrse years old before hs
got married He waited until hG
Twas sure that II he didn't like It Id
wouldn't live long to repent.
Yu VIII observethIs, the devii new
er offers to 60 Into partnership wI.I
. q bizxy man, bat you Will often sec
him offer 60 JIne tho lazy, and furnish
allthe capital besides.---Iosh BilliagA
A miIlinef In town asked o custom.
> or how she would havehe bonneI
trimmed. The latter said she dIdn'
! caFe much what Was on the outside
|. bus shs wanted sogpe goed side. jaw
strings" 4'-os - = bss4st.s l,ss .. -,
Clara Louise Kellogg sane "Henis
Sweet Home" 20 the convicis 10 III,
Eastern prIson, and u 90 worked npoi
their feelings that seven Of then ss-
? capped and struck out for the paren.
3 tal roof tree the same sIght &c
. A Syracuse woman has beei
dreaming Of seelpg . hen walk
fence and nov what bothers her is
she can't remember whether IPsl
sign that this wiater win be . milo
one, OF that there ~Iil be . death II
the family.
Asa hsppy couple were issvIae q
Texas church the bride handed on,
OF the pshers q piece of paper and
whispered 10 him : t'sss the repor-
! ters at oucs, give them this aeserlp-
tion Of my dress, say the bride b.
hayed like heroine and bs sure aud
get pas name spelled right" s''. =.
john" said the butter dsalsr,
"always put 10 . compile ef sheets o.
paper ,whsp yaq weigh. Customer
Will think Jon neat and cleanly ID
lyour business. Hhsy d0p't lIke r
nave their buiter stopped on 70 seala
that, for ell they know, hes nevel
been washed. And besides. there's
good profit In buying paper at half I
cent pound and selling Il for thirty.
, hse or forty. aa4. .ssaa ~ .-
During some recent festivities ID
Scotland, Count Herbert Won Bis
marck, while out shooting with ths
PFinse 9f Wales, peppered lis rol
1'ighness yegs With shol doipg, vers
small damage. Fhe trouble With thsss
great men when they 90 ont to shOe
isthat they load too heavily. Fhsll
guns Oh, no 5 not exactly. Ne, the
guns are straight enough. ...i