davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-11-18
HUMOROUS.

A cereal story-A crop report.
In business on his own hook The
butcher.
Posing for effect IA goat ready to
butt.
Latin is a " dead language when
On inexperienced drug clerk fools
with it.
In the midst Of all the excitement
concerning 1t the north pole remains
perfectly cool
Talk about man turning a woman'a
head. 1t Is passing another women
with q new bonnet that does.
STOPPING over to pick up fair
Iady's handkerchief loses its joy when
il sacrifices a suspender button.
Men and horses differ. The latter
Is worthless unless he is broke, and
tue former Is worthless if he Is ditto.
Sometimes when man falls down
. sssaid to have slipped up. Such
arc the inconsistencies Of our Ian
guage.
The true lady is the one who pre-.
tends to admire her neighbor's bonnet
when in reality she considers it 3
fright.
"Were you ever caught up in sud
Ien squallg" asked an old yachtsman
pc a worthy citizen. "WeIl, | guess
tc," responded the good man. II have
helped to bring up eight babies
Life is like harness. There are
races Of care. lines Of tronble, bits of
good fortune. breaches OF good man
hers. bridled tongues, and everybody
has 4 tug to pull through.
Il q talk TO me, my dearest love-
OF something NOBLE good and pure;
some subject that, like heav'n above,
VIII ever for all time endure"
EIe cleared his throat and blinked his eyes,
For he was up to divers tricks:
And then, with words so wondrous wise,
He talked to her Of politics.
"What cal that man be about, pap"
eslSed young lady as fellow passen-
yer leaned over the side Of the steamer
IN apparent convulsions. Il should
Judge remarked the old gentleman.
that the fellow is about dead"
The grasshopper has. according to
6 size, 40 times the kicking power Of
i average man. It must be exciting
times for the young grasshoppers
Vh1nh go counting and find the old man
/ home.
oh, I do so dote on the sea" she
yufBled. "If you only had yacht,
Augustus. dearl" II have no yacht,
FlIheImina he sighed. .but can
re yon . little smack Ard then it
I'D ~ If . cork had down out Of
man was arrested for call
,nt red-head" If he
ooo ooof hair q > capillary
LOST w . roseate blush like
pto Che 80 hue Of golden sun
be would have gained the applause
every resident Of bis city.
~Are you going 70 make flower
i here z" asked a young lady Of her
kher's gardener. Yes. miss. them's
i orders why. lt'l spoll our
oaust groundr' "Can't helpit miss.
CUR papa sass he's bound to have
j plot laid ont for horticulture. not
shandry
s There's something the matter
sh this lemonade: I guess your
aons must have been too ripe. .sOh.
replied The walter: : tie lemons
III right Itmay - the Ice: i liz
stale perhaps Ice stale p
ke sir: been kept since last win
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-11-18

ssRough on Itch cures humors, eruptions,
ring-worm, letter, salt rheum, frosted feet,
chilblains.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-11-18

CaRbs-Efuea.
The clouds may darken DER the sun,
Yet rivers to the ocean run.
The bald and gray may live serene
By using the famous Carbolina.
s'Rough on Toofhache.',
Instant relief for neuralgia, toothache, face
ache. Ask for Rough on t0Othache. "15d25C.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-11-18

Life Preserver.
If you are losing your grip on life. try Wells
Health Renever.. Goes direct to weakspOts.
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-11-18

A new opera is called .'The Orange Girl. |"
1t is expected to provoke ''peels" of laughter
Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1884-11-18

Ladies who would retain freshness and vivac-
ity. Don't fail to try w ellsH Health Reviewer"
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
One LOng-felt Want Untitled.
From the Salt Lake (Utah) Herald.

From the Salt Lake (Utah) Herald.
In common with other communities
ane of Utah wants is a new kind of Il
boy. The physical pattern of the aver
age boy of the period is good enough;
in fact, is so nearly correct that very lit
tie improvement in this respect could be
suggested. What We want in the new
bow is an improved mental and moral
organization. We want kind of a boy
that is not afraid of work. By work We
do not mean to confine the word to run
ming on errands, serving as cash boys.
standing behind dry goods counter and
smiling blardly en- lady customers, to
adding long columns Of figures, nor to
writing fair hand in addressing envel-
opes. These are all important and nee
essary labors, and are as honorable and
praiseworthy as any others. But all the
boys cannot be cash boys, messengers and
book-keepers, and it is a remodeling
Of those VINO cannot do those things
who ends PORTABLE and light employ
the work and overcome their aversion
to labor. We want race of boys who
know something of the hammer, the
saw, the plane, and the composing stick
boys who are not afraid TO soil their
hands with forge cinders or printers
ink; boys who can dig and delve, who
can handle the pick and shovel, and
trcwel, who can roll a wheelbarrow,
pillow, SOW, and reap; who can build and
produce. Parents may do much in the
matter of bringing upon the field Of
action the improved boy by teaching
their lads that the noblcst aspirati IN III
This life is the ambition to do something
and be something. Teachers also can
help along by teaching boys that it is
Just as honorable and rraiscworthy TO
shove Il plain or swing hammer as it is
to measure tape and calico, and that it
is positively dissracefu to lotcr about
the streets waiting for an easy job.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
A War Story.

Congressman Blackburn, OF Ken
lucky, is quoted as telling this story:
Four days before I went to the front
with my regiment we had little girl
baby. She is now grown, and you al
ways see her with me at any social
gathering. Well, in our army the fur
loughs came very rarely. When We got
into line there was no great chance
for man to get home. 1t was about
three years afterward that g few of liz
were one night going down the Mississ
ippi on river steamer. [ had been
sick and was returning to my command,
but pretty we'll broken up even then.
AS for money, wedid not have any, and
the night was hot as laid down on the
deck, my throat almost parched with
thirst. Pretty soon little girl came
along with big glass of lemonade.
tell you it looked good to me. She saw
me eying it, stopped minute, looked
doubtfully at me, and finally came up
to my side. "You look as if you wanted
something to drink, she said, and off
cred me the glass. It wasn't quite the
square thing to do, but took it and
handed it back empty. TWAS like nee
tar to me. Then I thanked the little
creature and sent her away. Soon after,
just like every child, she came back,
leading her mother to see the poor
soldier. By Jupiter, it was my wife.
and the girl was the bapy whom I had
last seen as baby but just born. You
can imagine the reunion. They were
with my brothers family, and happe ned
to be going down river. That was the
only time during the four years fight
ing that I saw my wife and baby, and
under these circumstances what man
would ever forget it?"
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
A VermOnter at Gettysburg.

f. B. Andrews of Richmond, Vt.
writes as follows: A very amusing an
ecdote Is told of Private Jones of the 14th
Vermont Volunteers. On the third of
July, at the battle Of Gettysburg, the
second brigade was in the union line on
The brow of the hill. Few of its men,
bers had ever seen battle. Some time
before the terrific cannonading COM
menced in the afternoon, the aids were
riding in every direction carrying orders
from their superiors. Jones was
heard to say several times, II wish
I was a biz man that
l might ride horse like these officers"
Not long after the Smelling opened from
II hundred guns on the Union line, pre-
paratory to Pickett's grand charge. The
Vermonters were hueglng the
ground with but slight breastwork OF
rails in front of them. The shells were
bursting about and around them in
every direction. George Burnham,
good deal Of wag, said to Jones'. Don't
you wish you were big man, that you
might ride horse?" "No," says Jones,
II wish to Cd want bigger than
pismire." The total loss in this battle
of the brigade was 34S, and of the 14th
regiment 1O7
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26

On reviewing the history of the land
grabs of all sorts, past, present and con-
templated, writer says that if the COM
plete history of all the. executive depart
ments for the last twenty years could be
spread before the people the star route
frauds and other frauds which have at
tracted some attention would stand by
the side of the land frauds like pigmies
by the side of d giant. AS the day
draws near when all of the available
public lands will have passed from the
possession of the Government, those
who are striving to take them by fraud
are unable to conceal their rascally
work from the public as the work of
their moro fortunate predecessors was
concealed in the past. With rare ex-
ceptions, however, they have thus far
not only escaped punishment, but have
not even been annoyed by legal proceed
ings.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
Failure OF Commodore Garrison.

Commodore Cornelius K. Garrison on Fri
day last filed an assignment in the county
clerks Office at New York to John T. Terry, Of
p D. Morgan & Co.; preferences, 1861, $50.
Garrison well known as formerly deeply in
terested in the Pacific Mail, New Orleans and
West India steamship lines He is also
known to be the largest stakeholder in profit
able gas companies of New York and
st. Louis and New Orleans. He was the prin-
cipal owner of Missouri Pacific, but sold out a
few years ago to Jay Gould He has been in,
terested lately in numerous railway schemes.
He was formerly resident of St. Louis, and
made the bulk of his fortune prior to the re-
bellion.
The amount involved by the failure is sup
posed to be 5000, 00O The preferences
amount to 1861, Geo. Assignee Terry said it
was impossible yet to state the figures The
effect on Wall street was to still more unsettle
things, though to notso great extent as feared.
Melville G. Day. counsel for Garrison, says:
The assignment is made because of financial
embarrassment It was forced upon Garrison
by the protest of notes under his Endorsement
He is heavy holder Of securities, and so much
Of his wealth was tied up in these, which are
almost unmarketable at present, that he could
not meet his liabilities. He has large number
of Ohio railroad securities which have shrunk,
but which are not now on the market, the
value of which cannnt be estimated. The
assignment is simply for the benefit Of cred
itOrs.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
The Criminal Calendar,

81. G. Hose editor of the New Brunswick n
j., Star, has been arrested on charge Of aGlti-
terry with Maria Arber, inmate of the county
jail
man named Pflski has disappeared from
Ronman was murdered last week, and foul play
is suspected.
Rev. A. F. vedder, now in state prison in
New York, was communicated from the
Presbyterian church, Monday, at Saratoga He
had committed adultery
Commission Osborne of New York has held
Gerald Thomas Tully, the submanager of the
Preston Banking company, Of Manchester,
England, for extradition, on the charge of for
gerry.
The alleged swindler calling himself D. E.
Townsend, agent of the New York firm of
Mitchell, Vance & Co., who borrowed small
sums at La Crosse and Winona, and was ar
rested at the former place. will be arraigned for
obtaining money under false pretenses.
John Edwards, brakeman on the Utah &
Northern train carrying Coles circus, was shot
through the heart while the train was leaving
Deer Lodge on the n P. The murderer is not
known. Five of Coles men were arrested on
suspicion of being implicated in the crime.
The railroad men talk of lynching if the muir
derer is found.
More indictments have been found by the
grand jury against Mayor Chase and City
Marshal Gutherie of Omaha, for bribery by
Matchmaking gamblers, contractors OF. public
works and prostitutes, and still more indict-
ments are to follow. Indictments have also
been returned against the keepers of few
gambling houses. Marshal Gutherie has re-
signed.
The house of William H. Avery of Winona
was entered by thief on June 4, and lady's
gold watch and breastpin valued at $42 were
stolen. The articles belonged to Mrs. Avery
and were taken from her bureau. Marshal
Miller of Winona received word from Sheriff
Carl of Hudson, Wis, recently that he had ar
rested man whom he believed to be the
guilty party, as he had found the breastpin up
on him. Thereupon Marshal Miller went to
Hudson, and on making closer search of the
prisoner found the watch secreted in his
boot. He brought the thief to Winona, who
turnes out to be Dick Rogers, a well known
prison bird, who has just completed term of
two years and half in the Wisconsin state
prison at Waupun, for robbing hardware
store at Amherst, Wis
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
Catholic Temperance Convention.

| The Catholic Temperance societies of Mime
sofa had their annual session in Minneapolis
last week. There were very large number Of
SOCIETIES represented, some six hundred men be-
| ing in the procession. At the church of the
Immaculate Conception, where high mass was
| celebrated conducted by Rev. Father Stanley,
| St Paul, celebrated; Rev. Father r. P Dennehy,
| dean; Rev. Father Hand, Corcoran, subdeacon,
and Rev. Father Burnes, of the Immaculate Con-
ception, master of services. A very large number
| of the clergy were in attendance. Bishop Ire
| land in the evening delivered an eloquent adj
| dress, and in the following paragraph fore
| Swallowed the action of the convention: cat
the next legislature we will bring in a bill for
| a state high license law, and / want you dele
| gates to go home and sec to it that representa-
! hves are elected to the legislature favorable to
| high license Tho total abstinence societies
hold the balance of political power in this state
and can accomplish the desired result"
letter from Bishop Spaulding was read. He
| said: ''The more reflect the more am per-
bitory legislation will do more to promote tenn
perance than all other means"
A summary of the membership of the differ
| ent societies was given, showing total Of 2, >
326, against 2, $50 the previous year: The total
collections of thoyear footup $43S. 70, of which
| the balance in the general fund There are
bills outstanding amounting to $237, to meet
which there is $155 in the treasury.
The treasurer reported that he had received
$19S So from his predecessor, and $455; % from
the secretary, making total Of $646.97. The
disbursements amount to $4O53 80, leavingin
the treasury $241.59
Messrs. J. F. Carrere of st. Paul, P. J. Nor
an of Minneapolis, and John O'Brien of Still
water acted delegates to the national conven-
ton. T.
f The resolutions follow in substance, the re-
mark of Bishop Ireland, quoted above: It was
voted to hold the next meeting in Saltwater
The following officers were elected: President
IT. D. O'Brien, St. Paul, Vice President-Wil-
liam Dowlan. Secretary-M J. Moran, St
Paul Treasurer-Dennis Doyle St. Paul.
Sergeant at Arms William Foley, Saltwater
County Observation-Disclosures Barney Mousse:
Freeborn, 7. J. O'Leary; Anoka, Michael Tier
ney; Big Stone, M. J. Mcdonald; Goodhue, P.
D. Kelly; Mower, James Furlong; Washing
ton, Thomas Nolan; Waseca, D. Mclaughlin;
LIE Sueur, j. H. Gildean; Dakota, John Shields;
Winona, John Czeszinski; Scott, D. Herman.
The officers were then installed and the con-
vention adjourned.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26

The new civil service statute of Mas
sachusetts, just enacted by the legisla-
ture, regulates the minutest details of
appointment, promotion and conduct
in the service of the state and in all city
governments, and applies to clerkships,
police appointments, and all appointive
positions. One of it's provisions is as
follows: ''No person habitually using
Intoxicating beverage to excess shall be
appointed to or retained in any Office,
appointment or employment to which
the provision of this act are applicable;
nor shall any vender of intoxicating
liquor be appointed or retained" Sec
tion five provides that no recon-
mendation of all applicant for Office
from any member of the legislature, al
derman or councilman, except as to
character and residence, shall be re-
ceived or. considered. No councillor,
member of the Legislature, alderman or
councilman, or any officer Or employee
of said bodies, and no executive or ju-
dicial officer, and no clerk and employee
of any sort, shall solicit or receive, or
be in any way concerned in, any politi-
cal assessment or contribution for any
purpose whatever. These provisions
are pretty strict and far in advance Of
any other civil service rules Of the coun-
Try, .z,..s5E (
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
Personal Points.

Mrs. Powers, beautiful widow of West Las
Animas, N. Mex, is worth $15, 900, mostly
in cattle.
Judge J. C. Nethaway and Miss Cora Hall,
daughter of Deputy Warden Hall, of the Min
nesota penitentlary, were married at Saltwater.
The degree of LII D. has been bestowed on
President Arthur Gov. Abbott of New Jersey,
and Justice Harlan of the. United States su-
preme court, by Princeton college.
Justice Miller of the supreme court, and FAM
lily, left Washington Wednesday for an extend
ed trip over the Northern Pacific railroad They
will perhaps go as far as Alaska
Friends of the family of Heyster Clymer of
Pa, authorize the following statement relative
to his death: Mr.: Clymer was in bad health,
suffering from malaria; profuse night sweats
and insomania. He used narcotics in quanti-
ties, which in ordinary health would only have
produced sound sleep, but which in his debil-
brain and caused his death.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
Market ReportS,

ST. PAU1-Wheat, No. 1 hard, 98@$1. OF;
No. l, SIC: No. hard. SIC: No. 2, SIC.
Corn No., T. SIC. No. 3, 47(l50c
Oats, No. 2 mixed, Csc; No. 3 mixed, 27c;
No. white. 28115c mo 8. white, 29c
Barlev; No. 2, 55c. No. extra, 48c !: No. 3,
40c
Baled Hay, Wild, IS 50; timothy. $1,000
Eggs, 15111@141sc
MILWAUKEE Wheat, No. 2, $3.50.
Corn. No. 2. &c.
Oats, No. 2, 32lS@33c. ..-l...
Rye. No. l, 65c.
Barley, No. 2, 6Oc.
Mess Pork, 1915 =, .r- -.
Butter, choice creamery, 10000; fair to
good, 17@1So; best dairy, 14{@15c s. -.
Eggs, l419@l5c: .,,- : =
oH1cAeo.-Wheat, No. 2 Chicago spring, s4H
Corn, 549l@55c. !, 80.
Z Oats. 3115c., -. So. y.
Rye. e5111c. <,$sE:z ~ Z 49, = - -.
! Barley. 62065c.
Flax Seed, 31.51@$L56. s -. :. g:
Pork, $l800@3l9QQ = ~ f5:5..-3s.s ,-.,4.. !.
butter; creamery, @@sso; dairy, 5000
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
The lack of guide boards on country

The lack of guide boards on country
roads is great source of annoyance to
everybody not familiar with their
routes of travel. It is simple thing
to make turn at a corner when we
know which road to take, but not so
simple to go many miles or moro and
find we are on the wrong road. All
roads are liable to be travelled by stran-
gers, and every place where two roads
meet should be furnished with guide
board. Strangers travelling on the
prairies of the Northwest, even in Sec
tons long settled, especially where there
are no fences, suffer good deal from
the lack Of guides. Every town and
county should remedy this grievance,
and by doing so will benefit themselves
as we'll ga the public. Guidoboards are
necessary in summer, and in winter when
landmarks are obscured, are imper-
atively required. Let everybody help
to "guide the traveller on his way"
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
British kindness" to Wounded
Enemies.
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
One of the strange features Of Gen.
Graham's battles in the Soudan was
that the dead and buried Arabs were
counted by thousands, while the wound
ed and prisoners were hardly mentioned.
or perhaps were rcckoned in scores and
hundreds. This is contrary to usual
experience, as the wounded are gen
orally at least three OF four times as nu
merous as the killed. A British service
paper throws light on this subject by an
extract from letter of an officer of the
Forty second regiment, which, it thinks,
"will be read with pleasure" by his
friends:
Il took splendid spear and killed a
great many wounded men with it; it
went into their hearts like lightning,
and their blood flowed out on the sand. -
1t would appear from this, unless it
was on exceptional case. that the wound
ed left on the field were butchered, as
in Zululand, where, also, the enemy's
losses almost wholly consisted of killed.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26
England's Great Preacher.

A jubilee in honor of the fiftieth birthday
of Rev Mr. Charles H. Spurgeon was given at
Holborn tabernacle London, on the 18TH The
building was crowded. over 5000 persons being
present. Mr. spurgeon and various members
of the spurgeon family wore grouped on the
platform, and were greeted with prolonged
cheering and waving of handkerchiefs. The
applause continued several minutes after the
opening hymn was sung. The people then I'M
tied in prayer, after which Mr.. Sturgeon ad-
dressed the meeting. He spoke at some length
and with great feeling, almost moving the audi
ence to tears. He thanked his hearers in the
warmest terms for their cordial reception. He
said
Our American friends are generally very cute
judges. I have often their opinions OF me-
The have repeatedly asserted ''spurgeon is no
orator. We have scores of bet ter preachers in
America, but it is evident that Sturgeon
breaches the gospel, and very celebrated men
do not
Spurgeon continued in his characteristic style
to urge preachers to preach more simply and
plainly the pure gospel Of the grace of God
The dry, dead gospel of some preachers never
evoked sympathy in mems hearts.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-06-26

A wrestling match ct Cincinnati ,toSts p1ao1
Friday night for $500 side and the entire r.
oeipts at Tho Grand, Opera house, between
William Muldoon and Duncan G. Ross Itdrev
two thousand people The first two falls were
Gr@co- Roman; next two, sideholds, with
harness, and last, catch-as-catch- can Mi.
doom won the first in three minutes, fke second
In thirteen minutes; Ross the third in nine
minutes, the fourth in thirty-five minutes. and
Muldeen the fifth in seventeen minutes. The
fourth fall was terrific struggle. seventeen
side-falls being made brfore fair fall was
gained
The independent republican organization
committee of New York appointed by George
William Curtis met and chose Mr.: Curtis chair
man. I: was decided to name the committee
the "1ndependent Republican Committee "The
following document was approved and will be
circulated throughout the country for sigma
lures. 'The undersigned protesting against the
nomination Of MIR. Blaine and Mr. Logan. pro-
pose to join their fellow republicans and indie
pendent voters il. sending representatives to a
general conference to be held Immediately after
the democratic national convention, which
conference shall consider, in case the demo-
cratic nominations do not Justify the support
OF protesting republicans, what further action
may be necessary to secure candidates who
will appeal to the interests of clean and honeet
politics and the sober, honest sense Of the
American people,"