davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
Six Distinguished Heads.

There are half dozen men in the
House who attract attention of all
lockers on when the tariff is mention
ed. They are Morrison, Hurd, and
Carlisle on the one side, and Randall,
Mckinley, and Kelley on the other.
Randall attracts more attention from
the galleries and among those on the
floor just now than any other man in
the House. There are men in the
House who are always talking and
never heard; Mr.. Randall is heard
whenever he talks, and felt often when
he dees not. The usual question
when stranger takes his seat in the
gallery, is, (Which is RandallY The
next one asked for is usually Morrison
then as the glance wanders to the mi.
nority side, he wants to see Kelly and
Mckinley.
In some respects these great tariff
thinkers are alike. There is one pc.
culiarity observable in most of them
the shape of the head. Hurd has a
head as round as a bullet. McKinley's
head is shaped much like Hurd's
Morrison is, too, round-headed fel
low, though his head is buried in such
mussy lot Of hair that it is difficult
to tell much what it is like. Morrison
and Kelly are the only ones of the dis
tinguished tariff sextet who weal
whiskers. Randall, Mckinley, ant
Carlisle are absolutely smooth faced
while Hurd sports a heavy blacl
moustache. Randall's head is mucl
after the type Of McKinley's, though
not so strongly marked as to round
ness. Carlisle's shows less of this Dc
culiarity, and Kelley's is anything bu
round.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
Lost I'm A Balloon.

On the 10th of December last, Mr..
Walter Powell, member of the En-
glish House Of Commons, ascended
iu balloon from Bath, England, in
company with Mr.. App Gardner and
Captain Temple. The latter was con-
nected with the Meteorological Office,
and the ascent was made for the pur-
pose of ascertaining the temperature
of the air and the amount of snow in
the air. They cleared the snow clouds
at an altitude Of 1000 feet. The bal
loon, which was comparatively new
one, and the largest belonging to the
War Department, its cubical contents
being $4,000 feet, passed over Wells
and Glastonbury and reached Leo
minister, having meanwhile descended
to low altitude. 1t was then travel
ing in current which carried it at
the rate OF thirty miles an hour. They
coasted along close to the ground un-
til they reached Symondsburg, where
| they called to man and asked the
distance to Bridgeport, which he told
them was about mile. Some ballast
was thrown out and the balloon arose
to height of 1900 feet.
Captain Temple then opened the
valve and the balloon descended, strik.
ing the earth and throwing him out
with the valve rope in his hand. Mr.
Gardner jumped out and fell, breaking
his leg, thus preventing him from GO
ing to the aid of Captain Temple
through whose hands the valve rope
was rapidly running. Relieved of the
weight of two of its occupants, the bal
loon SCARED upward, and was borne b,
the air current out to sea. Notice
was sent to the ooast-guard along the
tcoast, to masters of outgoing vessels, {
steamer was chartered and started ou
to sea to search for the balloon, bur
since that time no information ha,
been received of the balloon or its oc
eupant. OF course there is no doubt
that the balloon was wrecked anC
that Mr.. Powell was drowned The
unfortunate balloonist was thirty-nin,
years old. He had been for years pas
an enthusiastic aeronaut, and haC
made a great many ascents.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
EHe slid.

Talk about pretty girls--but she was
wild flower and no mistake She
got on the train to go over to Merid-
ian from Vicksburg, and she was all
alone. There was sort of sidelong
movement among five or six men, but
drummer for Philadelphia sadlery
house got there first. He grabbed
up his grip and walked square up to
her seat and took possession of half of
II without asking question, and in
ten minutes he seemed to be perfectly
at home. She answered his questions
briefly, and he had the hardest kind
of work to keep up conversation, and
as the train approached Jackson, she
suddenly said: tf
II want to telegraph papa from here.
Will you help me2"
"Ohl certainly. 1 have blank in
my pocket. Write your telegram,
and / will run into the office with it.
We missed him when the train
started, but by and by he was found
in the smoking car, his hat crushed
down and his nerves all on edge.
When asked what had happened, he
drew forth the telegram which the
girl had requested him to hand in.
1t read:
Bring your shotgun with you to
pop over drummer who has dread.
fully annoyed me. Shoot to kill"
"To think" he gasped, "that one 30
fair could be so murderousl Why, I'm
all in sweat: l want some of you to
stand by mep
We got his grip from the seat, trad
ed hats and coats with him, and the
way he slid from the depot when the
train reached Meridian caused hotel
porter to observe:
"Well, now, but that white face be-
longs to an invalid and them legs to q
deer! What sort of q coon can he be?'
Detroit Free Press.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
A Printers ParomOmnsia.

A pretty and dashing little lady who
called at our Office the other day to
see how type was set on, and asked
the foreman if he could print a kiss. !.
"Oh, yes" said he, "ifI was allowed
to lock up your 'form'"
"Now, you are imposing on me and
| won't stand it. If that's your rule
l think it's a case where I'd be 'iusti-
fed in hitting you with a stick"
"Be composed miss, and I'll speak
'planer' to chase away your fears.
Not for all the 'quoin' in Christendom
would take advantage Of your igno-
rance, and would give you proof
that you are not my 'dupe'-rather,
would slug the person who had lead
you to think so.
"Ah, yes, know" she replied,
"These 'stereotyped' sentences I've
heard before, but in a shorter space
of time than this I've known printer
to take an 'em brace But | couldn't
column man gentleman, who'd do
so; could youY"
"I'd like to put displayed head
on him." was the foreman's reply as
he went off to swear at the adevil''
down the elevator.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
'The Primary Cause OF the Gin
cimmati Riot.

"The root of the difficulty" says
Gov, Hoadly of Ohio, in reference to
the Cincinnati riot, "lies in the un-
willingness Of reputable citizens to re-
spond to the calls of public duty"
The disinclination of busy men to
serve as jurors is notorious in every
large city. II those who are most
competent to do justice in the jury
box thus evade their obligations to
the public in this respect, they have
nobody but themselves to blame il
guilty men are improperly acquitted
Gov. Hoadly suggests that the law
should admit no excuses whatever
from jury service, but should compel
every qualified citizen to serve when
duly summoned. There are strong
arguments in favor of this plan.
No State can prosper so long as any
considerable body Of its citizens neg.
lect their public duties. Let every
qualified elector attend the caucus
and primary meetings OF his party
vote at all elections, and duly perform
his part in the administration of JUS
tice by serving as juryman, and We
shall have less frequent occasion fol
the political reform movements which
have been SO common of late years.
New York Sun.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
The Greatest Of Sans.

Messrs. Hough and Burnham, of the
Dearborn Observatory, have been en-
gagged lately in micrometrical meas
urements OF the companion of Sirius,
the brightest star by far in the whole
heavens, The distance of Sirius from
the earth is estimated to be 1,975,000
times greater than the distance of the
sun, or about 123, 100000 100000 miles
Or, to measure its distance another
way, its light, travelling at the rate Of
10000 miles per second, would be
more than twenty-one years in reach
ing the earth. In other words still,
the astronomer who turns his tele-
scope now on that star sees it as it was
more than a score of years ago. The
dimensions Of the star must be enor-
nous, even as compared with our sun,
for it is quite twice the brilliancy of
its companions, while our sun at that
distance would probably appear like a
star of the fourth magnitude.
The discovery of the companion OF
Sirius was made by the Chicago in
strument: not, however, by any of our
local astronomers. Mr.. Clark, the
maker of the telescope, mounted it
temporarily for trial at Cambridge
and, turning it upon Sirius, was
amazed and delighted to find a little
star of the tenth magnitude, which il
had been suspected must be near that
great luminary. According to Mr.
Burnham, who for several years has
kept watch of this pair, the compan.
ion moves in positive angle between
three and five degrees year, and ap
proaches the primary about three OF
four-tenths of second for that period
1t will soon, he says, be so near its pri
mary as to escape its observation, by
reason of the great brilliancy of the
brighter stars. Indeed, it is owing tC
the brightness of Sirius that astrono
mers failed for so long a time to dis
cover the companion, the latter being
within the powers of small telescope
were it not so close to q brilliant lu
minary, Sirius is the bright star seer
nearly due south and about thirty de
grees from the horizon just after night
fall. 1t is to the left OF the conspicu
GUS constellation Orion and lowe
ldown. Chicago Times.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
Letter from California.
GONZALES, CAL, Mch. %. 1884.

OONEALEp, NAl-, hCil' ~, LOOT.
EDS, The COMET Through the
kindness of my friend, A. I. Hickey,
l received number of THE COMET,
and as | still have desire to keep
posted in regard to East Tennessee's
affairs, and especially upper East Ten
nessee, have decided to subscribe for
your paper for year, SO enclose
herewith postal note on Johnson City
for $125, It has been more than
year since l was in Johnson City, !
guess would hardly know the place
now from what ] have heard, am glad
to hear that it is improving.
/ think if the farmers OF East Ten
nessee would come to California and
learn how to work, they could go back
and make one of the grandest eoun-
tries in the world out of what people
are now leaving because they can't
make living. The fault is not in the
country, but the trouble is with the
people.
| / had the pleasure, not long since,
of visiting one of the largest dairy,
and stock ranches in this county,
| (Monterry). The rancho contains
seven thousand acres. About four
thousand acres of farming land, and
the balance is used for grazing pur-
poses. Mr. Corey, the owner, is very
industrious man and has everything
Ijust exactly right. He employs from
twenty to thirty men all the time.
| The breakfast hour is five o'clock a. m.
and supper at six p. m. This year Mr..
| c. has about thirteen hundred acres
of wheat and barley sown, and consid-
cradle other farm products sown and
planted At present he is milking
about three hundred cows, makes one
hundred and eighty pounds of butter
per day, has seven hundred hogs, sew
enty-fve horses r'and several hundred
head of young cattle and dry COWS.
Mrs. Corey and her two nieces, young
ladies, have fine lot of poultry, which
they give their personal attention.
Tennessee young ladies, (most of
them) would consider that kind of work
unfit for their dainty hands," and
must say that some of CALIFORNIA;
: young ladies are of the same opinion.
| forgot to say that Mr.. Corey occu-
| pied~this rancho as lessee until last
: fall he purchased it for twenty dollars
per acre. l will leave this subject
, now, and advise Tennessee farmers to
, work more hours per day and six days
per week and they will find their
: financial condition much improved in
few years,
y ] have been in the employ OF Faw
: & Edwards ever since / came to Cali.
fornia, which will be one year on the
first day of April. First, l was la,
} borer in their Gonzales warehouse
and more recently, telegraph operator
f and warehouse clerk, am getting along
i. first rate.
Wishing you and your paper success
r | will ask the "boy not to stand on the
] burning deck" too long, and close.
GEO. E. FAW.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12

A smart-stepping citizen Of Tennes-
see was in New York a few days ago to
see about raising money for proposed
railroad line down in his country, and
when asked to explain, he said
"There's no explanation about it..
This is to be a railroad 200 miles long.
"But about the company"
"Oh, that's been organized and all
the officers elected"
whats the capital?"
FIFTY million dollars"
"How much stock has been takenT'
"About $500 WORTH"
"What-only $500 worthw
"rhat's all, mister, and if you fell
lers down here will only pitch in,
gobble up the rest of it, we'll 60 al d
and make things hum G
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
The Ladlo.--Glod lsle4. I'Aem.

This is the way she talked to her
grocery man, while another customer
stood at the counter and was in . hur
ry to be waited on, and all the rest of
the clerks busy: "Wel, let me see--I
can't think of of anything else | want.
What is thatY Canned salmon-no, !
guess not. Oh, guess you may send
me some sugar. l think we're nearly
out Of sugar. I don't quito know,
You may send five pounds--no, not
five pounds-send three pounds and a
half. Our box is too small to hold FIVE
pounds. Well (walks slowly up and
down the store), / don't think | want
anything else to-day. What is this
bottled horse-radishP Is it good.
How much is tia bottle? Well, ] don't
know. No, | guess not. Well, yes
I'll take it. oh, yes-and send a
Spanish onion and alfdozee bottles
of porter. Well, l guess'.thats all.
How much are these grapes? No, l
won't have any to-day. They look
nice, too. Well, send pound. .(Goes
toward the door.) Don't forget to
send the things right away. Oh, |
fergot Cunning back), some pepper
Have you white pepper? Send box
Now, you'll be sure to send them in
time, won't you? / think that's about
ALL" (Goes out.) Customer goes as
far as II want"-[she returns) "Now
don't forget to send those things right
away. will you? How much is this
red cabbage a head? | think you
may put headin along with the rest, ;
and she was gone. "What can dc
for you? Sorry I've kept you so long
waiting" said the grocer. "Can you
change me half dollar2" said the
weary man in waiting.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12

ST. PAUL, Mimi, April 3.--Members
of all the political parties in the State
met this evening to organize TAiin-
nesota State Free Trade League The
constitution declares in favor OF abso-
.lutefree trade and pledges the mem
bers NEITHER to support noryote for any
candidate for Congress or for men,
bers Of the Legislature who is not
pledged te free trade. The member
ship includes some of the most prom
inent men Of both political parties.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12

The bee has long been a type Of the
industrious worker ("the busy bee inn
proves each shining hour, but there
are few people who know how much
labor the sweet hoard of the hive rep
resents. Each head Of clover contains
about sixty distinct flower tubes, each
Of which contains a portion of sugar,
not exceeding the fye-hundredth part
OF grain. The proboscis of the bee
must therefore be inserted into 500
clover tubes before one grain of sugar
can be obtained. There are 1000
grains in a pound, and as honey con-
tains three fourths Of its weight OF dry
sugar, each pound OF honey represents
2,500,000 clover tubes sucked by bees.
As the working bee lives but six months
and the drone bee but four months,
may not the fact account for extraor-
binary activity Who knows? The
queen bee, it should be remembered,
is exceptional to the above in longevi-
ty, as she lives fonr years.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
NO s..

otis night. The moon her silent
sable wears and ilirtoth with the
stars" 0 shame!
"Have You seen George lately, Char
ley" "No; loaned him fvo dollars
as much as three weeks ago"
Clean up your back yards and heaye
your old tomato cans over the fence
Be kind to your neighbors.
We are going to have our name
changed to Opportunity, because leap
year is the time when opportunities
are embraced by the Indies. -T.
Japanese soldiers carry fans, but in
this country soldiers do all their blow
ing with their mouths. Customs vary
in various countries.
Young man, you cannot succeed in
inveigling a young woman into giving
her age by casually remsrking that it
is your birthday. The trick has boen
tried. a..5
Dear Harry jumped at my suggestion,
That we to matrimony drop;
took last night to pop the question
I'll take tonight to question pop.
Out West, when girl wants her
male admirer to go home, she takes
down her back hair. When she wants
him to stay at home, she takes out
her teeth. ......
An eccentric old gentleman who
had married his. second wife, hoy
denish young creature, entertained q
party of gentlemen one afternoon, and
was much chagrined by the non-ap-
pearance of his girlish spouse. Upon
inquiring he ascertained that she WAS
in the garden, and theroupon invited
his gusets out to be introduced to her.
AS they rose to accept the invitation,
his son, lad of fourteen, exclaimed,
Don't do it, dad!" "Why not?" he
asked angrily. Because" returned
the boy, half apologetically, "she's up
ascherry tree"
There is much in the present bull
market to remind one of the man
down in Indiana who was the only
man in his village having any loose
cash capital. 7, He was the other day
explaining to an eastern man;
"The only stock afoat in our neigh
borhood are five shares of an old saw
mill which hasn't paid these ten years.
Monday mornings | circulate the re-
port that a syndicate has bought the
mill and will at once put it in repair.
This sends the shares up to twenty
| five, and ] sell out"
"That's legitimate"
I Wednesdays / let it be understood
that the syndicate is busted, and moth
ing will be done to the mill. This
sends the stock back TO ten and | load
up"
"And.what do you do on satur-
days2"
| "Oh, those are my regular days for
working up feeling in the country
that / ought to be paid bonus for
converting the sawmill into q distillery.
WAL Street Neus.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
wilkins Star Proverbs.

A JOY lender is seldom trouble bor-
rover.
Many men begin to rise when they
begin to lie.
Slander is the greatest lightning oi
malevolence..
The brain Of genius differs from the
brayin Of fools.
He who makes the best OF life loses
the worst of death.
The cream OF experience is obtained
from spilled milk.
When anger rises good judgement
sits down on a back seat.
Youth sucks the sugar coating and
old age chews the bitter pill of life.
Men use virtue as an umbrella tc
keep the rain of birthstone off theil
Sunday cloths.
The devils time is so much employ
ed that he details idleness and conceit
to run in recruits.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
A Mormon Engagement. 4.

my dear, said Mormon wife to
her husband. II should think
that you would be ashamed of your
self, flirting with that Miss B. as you
did in church to-day"
Flirting with herr" he replied in
astonishment; "why, we have been
engaged for moro than three months,
It's all ovor town."
ooh, | beg your pardon" said his
wife indifferently, IF you, are. en-
gagged to her, | suppose it is all right.
When does the happy event occur?"
philadelphia CtM.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12

A gentleman who is very reliable
tells us that in 0conee county rat
came down the side of the chimney
and went to hens nest close by, got
an egg out, wound his tail around it
and carried the same to. its nest in the
chimney. Some of the rocks we're
taken ont to see what the rat had in
its bed and at least peck of egg7shells
we're found, with spoon that had
been lost for several years.-Athens
BnaaeY.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
Too MANY Hodges.

''0h, for lodge in some vast will
derness!" quoted Mr.. Splatterly, the
other day, when he was feeling in
poetic mood.
"Should think you had lodges
enough Y said Mrs. Splatterly. "You
are out now four nights in the week to
lodges, and if you had another, in a
wilderness, I don't suppose you would
be home at all, except to eat.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12

A Boston policeman has been de-
clared insolvent. As his club is his
only asset, the creditors are not very
clamerous for dividend.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12
Cincinnati Leads All tpse Res.

And now abideth Danville, Copiah,
and Cincinnati-these three, but the
greatest of these is Cincinnati.-Cki-
cdgo NssRs.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-04-12

The handsomest girl in .Sylvania
county, Ga, became engaged, nearly
forty years ago, to John Gross, the son
of wealthy planter. Shortly after
the engagement was announced, Gross
went TO New Orleans on business, for
got his lady love, settled in Texas, and
did not return home until two years
later Though the lady had not heard
a word from him in all that time, she
was still true. They renewed the en-
gagement then quarrelled, and Gross
went off again. He remained away
until few days ago, when he return
ed to the old homestead to celebrate
his sixtieth birthday. He found his
fiancee still waiting, and promptly
married her. She had refused many
offers of marriage during his absence.
Three men whom she had refused
became respectively a Congressman, a
Senator, and Governor.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-05-14
FROM WASHINGTON.
Williard's Ablaze.

WASHINGTON, d, c., May l3.-Wil-
lard's Hotel is on fire, The fire depart
ment is working hard to subdue the
flames
WASHINGTON, d. c., May l3.-Wil-
lard's Hotel, running from Pennsylvania
avenue to street, one of the largest as
it is perhaps the best known hotel in
America, is on fire. The fire department
is now working hard to subdue the
flames, but they mad gotten considerable
Roadway before the alarm was given, and
it is feared the great block must
60 Wizards is an immense
brick concern, seven stories in
height, covering about the same area as
the Southern Hotel in st. Louis 1t was
erected years ago, and has throughout
the latter history of the Republic been the
stopping place of most of the
eminent statesmen, soldiers and Wis
itors to Washington. 1t was built
before the great modern improvements
we're introduced into architecture, and it
resembles great tobacco warehouse
uOTe Luiu lTsl-ClhSS uOUel. IL Is COl-
structed of brick and wood. The cell
ings are as low and the general character
of the house as old-fashioned as the
Planters in St. Louis. The stair-cases
are Of wood, as are also the corridors,
partitions, door frames, window sashes,
etc.
The house, if the fire gets full head
way, will 60 up like Undertook, partic-
ularly as the department here is unable to
quench large coniiagration.
The hotel is not near any OF the great
public buildings. The Ebbit House, now
conducted by the Wizards, is across the
street, but it is fire-proof building and
no danger Is apprehended.
Fire broke out in the basement of
Williard's Hotel at 10 O'Clock this morn
ing and spread through the elevator shaft
to some of the upper rooms. The fire
was soon put out, not, however, until the
west wing of the hotel and furniture had
been damaged by fire and water to the
extent of $4,000.