The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-09
THE DEADLY GAT-TAIL.


Harbor not the deadly cat-taill Insidious foe
of the domestic happiness Of mankind. Beauti-
full to gaze upon but evil and malicious in its
moral nature Rude disturber of midsummer
peace, and ruthless destroyer of feminine dis
positions Ruin seize thee, o, cat-tair and
curses rest upon thy descendants forever A
family of at-tails were once tenderly removed
from their "dem'd, damp, moist, unpleasant
home in Fletcher's swamp, and carefully CON
veyed to a luxurious abode in stately tEo-story
frame house standing IN eapacious grounds
measuring 5oxl75 feet The neighbors
were called in to admire these eat-tails,
and the aesthetic souls Of all bowed in lovly
obeisanee before them. A hidedssly ugly and
therefore perfectly beautiful, old brown vase,
with one ear knocked off, was dragged out from
some hidden lair and the soul-thrilling cat tails
arranged therein in the most picturesque group
ing which the yearning souls of four feminine
art-wershipers could devise. The vase and the
eat-tails were borne carefully up long yellow
stepladder tone of Udelrs best) and gracefully
disposed on the top of set of book-shelves,
with the broken handle of the vase iudiciously
turned towards the wall. The effect was superb;
and after the art-student who had arranged the
cat tails high, had successfully descended the
long yellow step ladder, she and the three other
catrtail devotees stood around and howled their
admiration about fifteen minutes. For some
days these cat-tails were the supreme topic; the
hungry souls of those who yearned for the I'M
movable felt as if they now knew all about it;
those who had been reaching out for the unat-
| tainable were now satisfied that they had finally
got good grip ON it; and those who sighed to
pierce the beyond now knew that 1t was in our
midst, and its presiding deity was named Cat
tails. True, the male members of the family
did net take much stock in eat-tal
worship; one said they were .'heauti-
full beautiful; remind me of scene on
the Alpsm-and the other one turned up his
nose and said nothing, which WAS worse yet
However, our ardor was not abated and we felt
that we had fallen on halcyon days. Alas, these
haleyon days were doomed to be torn rudely
| from us, and that soon, One perfect summer
| day, when the souls of all men should have been
attIned to only soft and soothing harmonies,
the young man whose privilege it WAS to nightly
/ slumber in the apartment hallowed by the brown
vase of catrtails, appeared at the matutinal re-
| past with scowl on his brow, and wanting to
| know what the mischief thatstuf was that was
/ flying all over his room. Horrorl ThTee-ply hor-
ror! We few to the shrine of the beautiful Scr
| rows crown Of sorrow! A eattail had, in prosaie
! language, 4bustF and there were at least ten
inches of cattail- down on everything in the
l'rooHl. Over the rest let us draw a VEIL and
| also hoist an umbrella lest the rude eye of the
ten thousand floating ghosts Of eat-tafls to va
cate our premises. Our house is stil1 haunted
| by them, but the pursuit Of the beautiful we
have abandoned forever to those with nimbler
/ feet and more patient spirits The yellow step
ladder was mounted again, and the brown vase
| with the broken ear was banished to its gloomy
lair forever; the remaining cat tails were rudeIy
bounced into the vacant lot adjoining, in at0ne
ment for the sins of their Inbred relative.
Cat-tail seasons may como and 60,
but Fletcher's swamp shall know us
no more forever One cat,taif IN the swamp
where it belongs is worth ten thousand in q
| brown vase with broken ear Time has we'll
nigh calloused in our hearts the wounds which
all broken idols necessitate and all might yet be
well with US in our mental affairs but our rude
young man. with that lack Of magnanimity for
which his sex is always conspicuous, ever and
anon harrows up fading memories by inquiring,
| Say, when are you folks going to take another
| cat-tail jaunt9n May this melancholy and
| ssover-truep tale lead even one student Of the
| beautiful to avoid misery like ours. and it will
NOT have been penned in vain. Stay the longings
| Of your aesthetic souls with sundowers, Japan
| ese parasols, plush plaques, tin-panels, lame
storks. deforfned owls, broken-nosed plaster
| casts and other harmless etcetera within
the domain of the beautiful, but 'swarc oh ware
| the deadly, demoniacaf, destructive cat tail
AsTFR