The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-10-03
UTTING A FLY TO WORK
He Wakes His Master Every Morning
and Goes to Break fast with Him.

som street saloon gave his sloppy bar
an energetic wipe at half-past O'Clock
yesterday afternoon. Then with the
same towel he gave the same bar a
vicious slap. After this he eagerly in
vestigated the spot where he had struck.
A badly-demoraiiZcd fly was trying in
three sections to get to his corner be-
fore time was called for another round.
Whack! came the towel again. Then
the biggest piece of the fly picked itself
up and sailed airily off. followed by an
ejaculation of panied surprise that set
off the sui phur matches on the counter.
See him 60 off without his back"
said the disgusted tapster. He'll
"ome back and tickle my nose and
ugh ut me. .'You can't kill EN-"
continued the bartender, wearily.
"Leastways there's only one way TO
kill 'em."
What's that?" asked the arbiter of
the destinies of the oyster bar, who had
sympathizingly watched his colleagues
struggle.
Let EN- drink themselves to DEATH"
replied the bartender. solcmnly. Look
at that floor"
All hands did rs directed. The floor
was marble one. into which the days
droppings OF beer and blowlngs of froth
could not soak. Millions of flies
staggered over it with wide-open
loutEs and drank the sticky fluid.
thousands of flies, with drunken buzz
in their wings, circled tipsily at
height of about two inches above it,
and strove in vain 10 get a little higher.
| - lay bni
backs in the corners, with their legs
either waving deliriously in the air or
folded Imply across their s.omachs.
Iney were sleeping a drunken sleep
| from which they never could awake.
After the bartender, the oyster-opener.
and their customers had contemplated
the awful sight long enough to take
warning from it, the bartender con-
tinucI: Wien it's quiet here you
can hear ali them live flies suckin'
bcer-souuds like Il man goin' fur the
last drop in IN empty lemonade glass.
Then I've heard them drunken flies
snorin' like tramps in an alley. But
II it wasn't for the vicious practices of
them bum flies KILN 'em, they'd
drive us out"
II do not like to hear such talk about
fies," said man who had been i'm
bibing beer by himself at one end of
the bar. II have little fly of my
own at home that love-"
Everybody turned and looked at the
speaker. He was very fat man, with
q red face and black chin-beard. He
wore an imitation seer-sucker coat,
which was open across vast expanse
of limp shirt bosom.
Give the gentleman pint of them
large blue-bottles, George" said the
bartender. sarcastically, to the oyster
opener. The fat man wiped the per-
spiration invoked by eight glasses of
imported Kaiser from his forehead and
calmly continued:
Il am from Frankford.
That settles ity' said the bartender,
who Immediately began TO wipe glasses
and appeared to lose all interest in the
fat mans narrative. The latter paid
no attention to the slight, but went
81 do nUt want u pint Of dissolute
blue bottles. l only allow one fly in
my room. He is temperate fly. He
has 10 be. Attention to his duties
demands it. He is trained fly"
Trained for whatp" asked Seventh
ward pOlIlician; ''pianner playinp"
mo; trained to wake me up in the
morning"
..Shor' said the bartender, with
reawakened interest.
1T is fact" said the Frankford
man. II have been the victim of over
sleeping all my life. lost u position
I,n d,
road because never wake up in time
10 take an early train out. also lost
the hand and prospects of a wealthy
farmers daughter because l didn't
wake up in time to be married, and SO
disgraced the girl by not appearing at
the church. have tried all remedies,
even to sitting up all night. Iexpressly
picked out my present clearinghouse
because the landlady said that she had
a chambermaid who could remembey
wake up the boarders. This, OF
course, was untrue. | tried an alarm
clock once, After the first morning it
didn't phaZe me.
Last autumn found this fly. call
him Dicky. He was n poor, starved,
frozen little morsel. lying more than
boarding-house dining-room. laid q
drop OF warm soup beside him on the
sill. He gave grateful buzz and ate
his way through the soup. Ever after
that he flew and perched affectionately
on my nose at meal time, and instead
of helping himself from my plate
waited for me 10 feed him.
II began then to realize that the
singular intelligence and regularity of
that fly might prove him to be the cure
for my fatal sleepiness. took him to
my room and imprisoned him, without
food, for day in bottle. When it
grew dark took the cork out and left
him free to come out as soon as day
light came. relied on his hunger to
drive him to me for food. was right.
In the morning grew dimly conscious
of an unusual noise. 1t sounded like
a far-off saw-mill. First heard it in
one ear then in the other. 1t half
awakened me. Then ! felt tickling
sensation on my nose. was about to
tion when remembered my fly. | ut
once dressed and went to breakfast
with him. rs..
81 was overjoyed. The next day. how
ever, was disappointment Dicky
had SO gorged himself after this fast
that he too oversight himself. Again
| starved him. Again he awakened me.
This thing kept up week. Only on
alternate days would he waken me
pp. At the end Of that time he had
sntorsd into my scheme, and since
then has meyer missed day. He arises
as soon as daylight enters the room.
By simple but ingenious device have
fixed my window-shades SO that it
comes in just when ! want 1t. You
see-" ..-...
The man from Frankford turned.
Every body had left the room except
the bartender, who was snoring behind
the bar.
.'Good-by," said the Frankford man;
II must hurry home to give Dicky his
supper. ."-PhiIadeiphia Times.
Miss Sutro. the daughter of the man