Morning journal and courier., 1884-11-26
LATE.

The London Globe says: ''The higher the
 civilization, the later the dinner hour" In
 this country the lazier the cook the later the
 dinner-Philadelphi Call
 A boy always rejoices when his parents
 take him out of dresses, and yet 1t isn't many
 years before he embraces them again.
 Yonkers Statesman.
 ''How does the new girl strike youF asked
 a citizen of Detroit at dinner lately. 'Sne
 hasn't struck me vet" answered his wife
 meekly, 'sbut she has done almost everything else."
 eeIs there row inside?" policeman asked of the ticket seller at the box office. ''No row, guess'' FFThere's disturbance of some kind in there, certain" the officer in sisted, drawing his club. 'FYou are mis- taken" said the ticket seller; tits only 8 theGter party. New York Sun =-, 4.z- The man who got drunk because he was blue and felt so bad last week, also got drunk this week over the election news be- cause he was jolly and felt so good. There are no circumstances or conditions under which a good drunkard cannot get drunk if liquor is at hand.-New Orleans Picayune. ''Are you going to Miss Fussonfeather's party?' asked Q young lady of a friend as they met on the street. ''No," was the re- sponse. ''And why not, prays It is to be very swell ''Yes, know; but I haven't anything to wear" "Oh, you don't need
 anything much; it's to be a full dress, you know. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
 ''How much did Mr. Smith give you at his
 wedding?" asked Q minister's wife of her husband. 'fTwo dollars" ''WeH that's
 very insignificant sum for a rich man like
 MT Smith to pay for such service" "It does seem small amount D he replied, but
 you must remember that he has been married
 before. "-New York Sun.
 How the impertinent Mir. Cass was salted
 Mr. hn daTah Of
 donkey in his way, had been particularly
 pert the other evening. Finally he said
 something to Miss Sharpe that was just too saucy for anything. ''Why don't you box his
 ears!' asked one of the girls. 'EI would" replied Miss Sharpe, "only I don't know where can find a box big enough. ."-Boston Transcript.
 A young lady up town was recently miss ing from home for several days. Her dis tracted parents sent detectives forth in search of her, and after they had secured the coun- try in vain, she was given up. The grief of her parents knew no bounds, and when they were just resigning themselves to the awful calamity the young lady walked in and stated that she had simply been waiting for her change in Sixth avenue dry goods store.- Puck.
 Look here," said the new foreman of a country printing office to the proprietor, ''you certainly don't charge five dollars for printing one packaSe ol AulleIal noUA000' ! F'That's what we charge" 'Is it because | they are worth so much!" ''No; it is be- I cause on such occasions we can get so much" '" 1 But isn't it taking advantage of the dead9' ! sOh, no, my dear sir. It is simply taking 1 advantage of the living. ."-ArkansaNS Travel l Ter.
 A very gallant but bluff gentleman, who ! doesn't live very far from New York, was in
 a steamship bound for Europe not long ago During the voyage lady friend became very sea sick, and the gentleman was coqrteoqsly rendering her what services he could. Whle so engaged he heard the captain of the vessel squalI out to the man at the wheel: ''How 1 does she lay?" Not feeling entirely certain that the question was addressed to him, the 1 gentleman did not answer the question, but 1 when the captain called out again, "How is l her head?' he felt that he must acknowledge the courtesy, and so stepping to the compan- l ionway, he yelled back: Pretty d-d bad, thank you; she's sick again.