The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-04-25

| them, If paid at all, receive as a rule
about three hundred dollars per year
N. Y. Maii and Express.
All.Fools' Day. ..
An-fools' day is refreshingly allurine
to youth. and even older heads en- O,
the fun when it is at somebody else {
expense. The hat full of bricks found
its usual place on the sidewalk; the
mysterious package laid around loose
in every body's way; the mouth of the
sewer attracted unusual crowds. who
marveled that man could drive hack
through water twenty 1eet deep; the
FOOLS errand was run as it has been
run annually since the pyramids were
built, more or less. and ordinations.
boisterous or suppressed. could be de-
tected in the air at any moment of the
day. The most startling incident was
the progress IS" (as they say of crown
heads) of the well-known Superin-
tendent of the Board of Public Works.
whose digniied bearing makes him a
conspicuous object. He was the vic
tim of q most ludicrous trick, and will.
probably, not make his appearance to-
dav, being very sensitive.
Tuesday morning. as he stepped out
on the piazza, debating whether to
wear gOssamer or risk an umbrella.
his oldest hopeful, with that unob-
trusiveness incident to innocent child
hood on such occasions. approached h g
venerable father ami silently pinned to
the skirts of his overcast bifurcated
under-garment which he had purlOineG
from the clothes closet.
As Mr.. Rubblesione stepped down
the street the balmy breath of spring
had an celebrating effect upon his
somewhat rheumatic joints, and the
extra elasticity in his gait gave the lib
Grated extremi les of the bag of truce
floating proudly astern rather more en-
ergetic commissions than are ordinarily
observed in the caudal appendage Of
his Overcoat.
He could not fail to notice that he was
unusually observed, but lie could detect
moth ng unfriendly in the pleased
chances Of the multitude, and he COM
placently re elected that his recent cab
crate calculation as to the financial and
commercial value to the city OF the
Sixth street bridge as a thoroughfare
had begun to produce its legitimate eff
feet.
1t never occurred to Mr.. Rubblestone
that it was April lst until he heard the
half-suppressed voice of a newsboy
calling to him to "Look behind, Mis-
terri and then he felt proud of his
presence of mind, which enabled him to
check the involuntary tendency to turn
his head. and smiling complacently at
the discontinue Of the impudent | tie
gamin. he tipped his hat back an inch
and marched on.
At the HdU,eye corner Mr.. Bubble
stone stops every morning to have his
boots BACKED, and a lad who wears his
father shoes and his uncle cap is al
ways waiting to do the OBJ. So long
has this practice continued that Mickey
Mack. the boo black, has acquired some
familiarity with the august official. Pre-
suming on his acquaintance he called
Mr.. Rubblestone's attention to the deco
ration he wore with unconscious pride
Mickey will n yer do the disinterested
again. He was met with a torrent oil
abuse. "Now, see here, boy" said
"You can't fool me. ]
pay you for backing nv boots. That's
your business. Now don't get above
yourself and try any pranks, or you'll
lose regular customer. I'm not 8 boy
to forget what day of the month it is.
Don let me have any more of this out
of you" While the termini of the bi
furcated garment Topped spasmodicalIy
with each nphatic motion of his head
and the crowd on the post office corner
was convulsed with hilarity. ~
He went on down Main street to ex-
anime the mouth of the Valley street
sewer. and at the National State Bank
he passed Mrs. and Miss Bodruff, who
have not been on speaking terms with
him since he recommended the City
Co lncil to cut down Eighteenth street,
an improvement that has compelled the |
family to ashore themselves up from
The sidewalk to their front door with
derrick ever since.
The delighted expression which illu- |
their countenan es at his APP
oroach filled him with the supreme sat- |
sfaction of a man who has no idea that |
MS wig is four shades darker than the |
.wo TUFTS of hair that grow back of his |
ears, and. gratified that his quiet for |
had worn out an enmity oc- ]
by his devotion to the public |
good, he tipped his nat forward ana as
umed a pathetic expression until his |
inal arrival at his Office. AS soon as
,e had re ersed his column and mar
'halied his garments left in front, as |
he soldiers say, his feelings overcame
, m and he was found ABOUT the md |
lie of the afternoon in a comatose con-
lition in which he was conveyed to his
lome, where the adm nistrations
If kind friends will, it is hoped, effect
complete restoration. Burlington HaUk-
ye.
Three students of the Harvard |
iedical School vino recently passed
heir examination are far from happy,
)ne wrote most excellent set of
'apers, the other two copied them wor'l
or word, and the examiner ranked
hem at ninety eight per cent. He re
however, that as the three
'apers were identical this gave the
hree but about thirty-thrce per cent
ach. and as fifty per cent. is re-
Iuired for diploma all were p'ucked,
hat no invldious dist notion be ar
made against any two of them
" hn rrinhf no 70 he ho onnu- |