davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
A Narrow Escape.

"Sister' cried a little boy, running
into the room. ''your little pug dog has
bit me on the leg"
"Whatn exclaimed the frightened
young lady. Beauty has bitten you on
the leg3 Let me see"
She hastily pulled down his stocking,
and sure enough there was the impress
sion of his teeth
You naughty boy" said his sister,
shaking him violently, "don't you know
better than to tease Beauty Some day
he will bite big lump out of your leg,
and it might make him deathly sick. -
PHILADELPHIA Call.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Drawing aterials-mustard and wa
ter. Life
Never dispute with woman about her
weight She's always bound to have her
own weigh.
A wall in the southern part of China Is
said to be entirely made of fish. 1t ought
to be an easy one to scale. Statesman.
A Philadelphia father makes his baby
sleep with the nurse threesguartcrs of q
mile off. 1t must be the second one. -
Courier journal.
''Do cats reason 2" asks correspond.
emit. Certainly. There are two in our
neighborhood that are reasoning with
each other all through the Silly night
Baltimore Day.
"Why am like Wall street finan.
cier 2" asked a young farmer as he re-
turned from the barn. II give it up,h
replied his father, Because l have
been watering the stock. Brooklyn
Times.
The old saw, "Never kick man when
he is down" is a good one, because to
kick man when he is down is cowardly.
Now we give another, "Never kick a
man when he is up" because it is reck-
less.-EranSoille Argus.
The young man who wrote to his Of
Tended girl asking her to send him "a
line" informing him what she would like
him to do, was surprised to receive by
return mail a clothes line with a moose at
one end of it. -.StdteSnsan.
The boy who seeks the rivers brim,
Where he intends to take a swim,
But runs away,
Possesses wisdom, strength and vim;
For he will surely live to swim
Another day.
-NelU York Journal
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
No 11O.O0O

This is the number actually reached
this week by the Mason & Hamlin Organ
and Piano company in the regular mum
bering of their world-rcnowned cabinet
organs. Having commenced business in
1854, the average number Of organs pro
duced per annum has been ). 000 which
is 100 per week for the entire 1900
weeks of their business career The
Mason e Hamin organs have been sent
to every civilized country, and their sale
never was greater than at the present
time, averaging from 1000 to Is, 600
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
A Remedy for Lung Diseases.

Ut. Robert Newton, late president Of tn,
Eclectic college, Of the city OF New York
and formerly Of Cincinnati, Ohio, used DR.
VIM. Halls Balsan very extensively in
his practice, as many Of his patients, now
hvlng and restored to health by the use Of
this invaluable medicine, can amply testify.
he Away said that so good remedy ought
not to be considered merely as a patent med
lcine, but that it ought to he prescribed free
~ oy every physician as a sovereign remedy
III all cases of lung diseases. 1t cures con
sumption, and all pectoral complaints
Cnrbo-Iines.
Full oft we feel the surge of tears
Yet joy has light for all the years.
To all whose hair is getting thin
Our Carboline will keep it in.
"Rougli on Pain"
cures colo, cramps, diarrhoea: externally
for aches, palms. sprains, headache neuralgia,
rheumatism. For man or beast. % and So.
viii buy a TREATISE on THE HORSE AND His
DISEASES Book of 100 pages, valuable to
every owner of horses. Postage stamps taken
Sentpostpaid New YORK HORSE BOOK Co.,
Isl Leonard Street. New York city.
Trough on Pain" Plaster.
Porous and strengthening, improved, the
best for backache, pains in chest or side rheu-
matlsm, neuralgia. 25c. Druggists or mail
Young Men!-Itend This
The VoLTAIC BELT Co, of Marshall,
Mich, offer to send their celebrated ELECTRO
NoLTAIc BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLr-
ANCEs on trial for thirty days, to men young
or old afflicted with nervous debility, loss Of
vitality and manhood, and all kindred troubles.
Also for rheumatism, neuralgia, paralysis, and
many other diseases. Complete restoration
to health, vigor and manhood guaranteed. No
risk is incurred as thirty days trial is allowed
Write them at once for illustrated pamphlet
free
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
Salt Rheum

Is one OF the most dsagreeable diseases caused by inn
purity Of the blood. The skin becomes dry and hot
grows red and rough and often breaks into painful
cracks. while small watery pimpes appear in great
numbers, dscharging fine sticky fluid. The power
which Hoods Sarsaparila has this, as over all
blood diseases, is really wonderful. 1t purhes the
blood and expels the humor and the skin heals with
out a scar
Mrs Mary c. Rice, Newfane, Vt, suffered from
childhood with salt rheum with intense itching and
burning. She took Hoods Sarsaparilla and Hoods
Olive Ointment and was cured.
Il have been great sufferer for 20 year. with the
salt rheum on my hands. Each winter they
nearly raw, full OF cracks and chaps that could
not work. After taking one bottle of Hoods Sarsapa
rilla my hands are free Oh. what happiness" Mrs.
A. HART. Holden, Me.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
DO: and Crab.

Some years ago my neighbor had a
dog of an inquiring turn of mind, which
he called Philosopher when he was not
in hurry, Philosopher was in the
habit of coming over upon my premises,
and trying in various ways to win my
respect and esteem; but he never sue
ceeded to any great extent. Perhaps he
did not go about it in the right way. He
came oft in the Silly night, and sat under
my window and poured out his sorrow
to the moon. The moon seemed to stand
it, but | couldn't. | went to my neigh
Dor with protest, but he said he could
do nothing; that he didn't like to hear
a dog howl any better than | did; but,
according to divine law, that was the
only way in which dog could give ex-
preston to his deeper emotions, and he
thought man ought to try and put up
with it. Beside, he said, he believed
that the bowling of dog was an omen
of death.
told him thought so. too, especially
when the dog howled under my window,
and then | went and bought shotgun.
But after that Philosopher seemed to
reform and lead more joyous life. He
stayed home of nights, and if he was
ever sad, he brooded mostly in silence.
One day | came home with a basket
full of crabs, and found Philosopher sit
ting in my yard with a look of mingled
curiosity and pleasure on his open
and expressive cOuntenance. He seemed
to be glad to see me, and when set the
basket upon the ground and turned
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29

"God Save the Queen" was originally
"God Save the King" 1t was written
in honor of Louis NV of France, but
Handel brought it to England and dedi-
Gated it to George III. Well, might
Voltaire remark: "What is originality
but judicious plagiarism"
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29

1t is stated that Mr.. John Roberts, a
British member of parliament, owns
about 300 acres of the land on which
Liverpool is built, containing at present
1900 houses with population of about
10000.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29

During the first six months of the cur
rent year the sum of 500, 22l, 900 has
been invested in new industries in the
South.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
HUMORISTS OF THE PRESS.
FUNNY STORIES BY NEWSPAPER
wAGs.
Not n Musical Ear-A Narrow Es-
cape A Washer Routed 49, The
Railroad IHOg-DOg and Grab.

"My dear, l wish you would tell the
servant to stop moving that furniture
around in the parlor. Pm sure she has
broken some of the vases and Sevres
ware"
81 hear no noise, Christopher
There! She has dropped the clock !
l heard the shade smashl''
Why, Christopher, how silly you are |
That's not the servant moving the furni-
ture; that's Birdie practicing Wag-
merriam sonata. - Chicago Neus.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
The Railroad Hog.

us this seat unoccupiedF lady tim
idly inquired
Her voice was not very loud. 1t did
not recall the fat man from his reverie
nor his gaze from something interesting
in the brick wall of the depot. The lady
passed on as though embarrassed at the
sound of her request.
SIS one af these seats disengaged2"
The question was asked in firm, clear
voice by young woman, who looked
steadily into the monopolist's eyes as
though she understood him. His head
turned slowly, and he coldly replied:
"All engaged"
Then he resumed his study of the wall,
and the train moved slowly out of the
depot.
''Oofln
The exclamation resembled exactly the
grunt of pig. 1t was made by young
man with dimple in his cheek and
twinkle in his eye, on a seat diagonally
across the aisle and behind the bald
headed man. He was absorbed in an in
teresting article in newspaper. The ex
clamation was not noticed.
"Oof! Oof! Oofr
A young lady in the seat behind the
person intended to be described by the
young man with the dimple, Uttered
aloud. The fat man with four sittings
stole a wicked glance at the young man
with the newspaper, and then settled
back with determined gesture of his
head and neck as if he wasn't going to
mind it.
"Oo-oo-oof! kweek! kwe-e-eek oof ,.
oof"
The passengers turned their attention
to the passenger with the four seats
The bald spot on his head began to get
red
"Kwe-e-eek, kwe-e-eek, we-e-eek I,
Oof, oof, oof, oof!"
A tittering and giggling broke out
spontaneously up and down the car
The bald spot on the fat mans head
blazed. Then one foot was dragged
slowly off from the front seat. then the
other. A hand reached out carefully
and set one valise on the floor. Then
the other valise followed.
Seat here, I guess, ladies'" he
growled.
Three women threw grateful glances
at the grunter and took their seats. The
grunter, who had not lifted his eyes from
his newspaper, turned it over to continue
reading, but just at that instant the train
glidcd into the tunnel. -Neo York Sun
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
N YNU-3 81

THE first complete sewing machine was pat
ented by Elias Howe, Jr., in 1916.
Rupture, pile tumors, fistulas
and all diseases of lower bowel Except can
cer), radically cured. Address, Worlds Dis
pensary Medical Association, Buffalo, n. Y,
and enclose two (3ct.) stamps for book.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29

Dairymen often wonder how their more fav-
ored competitors get such high prices for their
butter the year round 1t is by always hav-
ing a uniform gilt-edged article. To put the
''gilt-edgen on, when the pastures do not do it,
they use Wells, Richardson a. Cos Improved
Butter Color Every butter maker can do
the same. Sold everywhere and warranted
as harmless as salt, and perfect in operation.
Hay Fever. One and one-half bottles of
Ely's Cream Balm entirely cured me of Hay
Fever of ten years standing. Have had no
trace of it for two years.-Albert A. Perry
Smithboro, N. Y Price 50 cents
Hay-Fever. | was severely afflicted with
Hsy-Fever for twenty-five years l tried
Ely's Cream Balm, and the effect was marvel
GUS. 1t is a perfect cure.-William T. Carr
Presbyterian pastor, Elizabeth, NJ. Price SOC.
Night Sweats.
Headache, fever, chills, malaria, dyspepsia,
cured by "Wells' Health Remover" g.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29

Inc nope oil tue Nation.
Children, slow in development, puny .scrawny
and delicate, use "Wes' Health Renewer.n
The increasing sales of Piso's Cure attests
its claim as the best cough remedy.
TWENTY States and Territories have adopt
ed compulsory education.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
Hoods SarsapariIIa
100 Doses One Dollar

Sold by all druggists. 81; six for s.. Prepared on
by Q. ]. HOOD CO. Apothecares. Lowell, Mass
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-08-29
High Priced Butter.

THE first steam engine on this continent was
hrnnpht from ENGLAND Ii l1h2
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25

MARIcos AS Republican nomination for the council, the Hon. John r.
 T Smith, is peculiarly & fitting ex>
 pIesslon of appreciation of the
 merIts of one of our most successful
 business men and recognition of
 his integrity and experience as Q
 legislator, he paving acquitted him self while representing his county
 in the legislature some ytars since
 in most creditabie manner.
 The Hon. John Y. T. Smith is
 man of the people, and whose inter- ests are his interests One of the largest manufacturers and handlers of grain in the county, he under> stands most thorougly the necessi-
 ties of the valley for transportation
 facilities. One Of the heaviest tax payers in the county, lie appreciates the necessity of obtaining relief in that direction at the earliest pessI- ble moment. In general, he under stands that tEe wealth and welfare of our valley depends on its speedy development and it's thorough popu- lation, and consequently. if his past record indicates anything, it indicates that he will endeavor to procure such legislation as will bring about the desired results, and, furth, rmorc, that he will allow no schemes of peculation or speculae ten to inirude themselves upon us.
 His career among Us as straight forward and COL scientioas business man makes anything we might say of him seem entirely superfiuous Yet, we know there are those who 1 seem 10 object 10 him, but in every instance where we have heard those 1 and inquired into the | cause, we have invaribly found that they have not arisen from any questionable. act on his part, but sometimes from a prejudice, but more generally from the fact that he has stood between the interests of the community at large and some would>5e schemer against the pub lie who worked for his own personal interest, regardless of how they were 10 be attained Let our citizens look lbout them and see if these are rot he facts when viewed in an unpre- Iudieed light. and we arc certain the gentleman of whom we speak will ,e sent back to the legislature in he interests of the whole people of he county.
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25
Tensr ss@ publican Club,

An ,arnest, live Republican club was organized last evening tt Tempe by the Republicans of that place who have been canvassing the matter of the formation of club and finally q preliminary meeting was had and some twenty names were placed upon the roll. Last evening he club formally organized by electing Mir J J. Wingar chairman and R. A Davis secretary, with ,Messrs. Priest, Carroll, Hnlmesly, Allen, Fellows, A Gonzales, M. Gonzales. Sam Brown. Means and Roberts as vice presidents. Mr. Thompson Walker was chosen treasurer Of the club.
 A committee of five on registra- tion was on motion appointed by the chair.
 The business of organization be- ing completed, addresses were tue order of the evening, and Messrs- Drew, Wirgar, Millay, Fowler, Priest, Winters, Davis and Morford each had cheerful word to say re~ gsrding the work the Republicans are doing in the county, and ex- pressed qualification at the thorough spirit of fellowship that prevailed within the party lines, and all felt that even if defeat at the polls should come, yet the organization of the Republicans in the county would not be in vain, for it would cause the most responsible men of the opposite party to be brought out for office. The career of the Democratic party was discussed by some of the speakers, while others discussed the legislative questions that were likely to come up, concern ing the Territory and our county, the coming winter.
 Altogether the meeting was sue cess, for which, great credit is due the Republicans of Tempe, who, by their plnck and energy, under most discourageing circumstances, have org anized an association that we hope will be heard from on the eve of every electinn for all time to come. Among the gentlemen from the Phoenix club were Messrs. Creamcr, it's chairman, Jos. s. Drew, Jerry Millay, Jo Rodondo, F. Dav- Ila of the El Mercurio, E. H. Wins ters, MT. Eishman, Brent Kirkland. Geo. Loring, 1I Garcia, Chas. Mul- len and N. A. Morford of the HERALD.
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25
Ing plank in the platform adopt

TIE plank in the platform adopt aMfy the Republican Territorial Convention, at Tombstone, regard ing the employment of Democrats by Federal officials IS most excel. lent ore, and should be regarded by Marshal 1'idball ard U s. District Al .orney Zabriskie The last named has already had the pleasure of see ing one of his Democratic assistants 'xpress the gratitude he fel. at the favor conferred on him by being placed in a position of honor and molument by the Republican parry, and TidbaIl will yet experience the same gratitude. Messrs. T dbnll and Z;thriskie may think that in be- slowing tn, patronage of iheir office on Democrats they are adding gte tn, ir political influence; perhaps they are, but what they individually gain ny so doing, the Republican party loses. But what care they, so long as TidbaIl and Zabriskie thrive? SIucc their advent in this Territory thelr conduct has been
 that of traitors. To ibeir Republi can brethren they gave wind; to the enemies of the party, which now keeps them in office, they gave whatever patronage they had 10 be- stow. It is now for them to declare tn, mselves openly. If Republicans, let them respect the opinions of their compatriots and put none but Republicans on guard; if Demo- crats, let then them throw of the mask of hypocrasy which they have heretofore worn, and prepare fer speedy relation to those regions from which they hail, for we want them not here.-Mrner
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25

we depend cn stock board mining. Ore is not often found in immense bodies, but enough is here to make an astonishing aggregate, if there were any means of marketing it.
 The business of mining and milling are and should be as distinct as those of wheat raising and flour making [. Colorado was in the same stagnant condition that we are today, until she got custom works. Now sEe receives ore from all surrounding States and Territories, including Arizona. We might be doing the same thing and importing ore, in- stead Of sending It thousand miles away. We have fuel in abundance- bot11 wood and coal-within our boundaries. As long as we bend our main energ es to "roping in" outside capital on visionary mining schemes, we shall stay where VIC are today, if we do not retrograde. Ar izoua is no longer beyond the pale of civilization. We must come down to solid business. Let us lead helping hand 60 all who, in legit> mage manner. endeavor to develop the resou'ce of the country-Ssn' shine and Silrer.
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25
FIERY SOCIALISTS.

CHICAGO, Sept. 21-FIfteen huns dred people, principally Socialists, held mass meeting at the market square tonight, and gave vent to a number of fiery speeches and rcso- lutions regarding the execution of Jacobson, who, it was asserted, would never have been hung had he not been utterly poor and frIendless. A post mortem examination of hls bLain has been demanded,i in view of his alleged temporary insanity, to ascertain whether judicial murder has been committed.
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25
RAILROAD AccIDEAr

PHILADELPHIA. Sept. 21-On the Philadelphia & Atlantic railroad, about twenty miles below Camden, last night, eleven men were serious- ly hurs, but none, it is thought, are fatally injured. A freight train on the Williamstown branch of the Camden & Atlantic road dashed into the rear car of the Camden & Atlan> tic accommodation train at tke intersection of the roads and demol> ished it, thro" ing tue occupants, all railroad men, about twenty feet from tue track in great confusion. The injured men were brought to their homes. Il is said the freight train was not on schtd time.
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25

.SunsSaiae and Siiuer remarks some what pointedly as follows on the visit at Tucson of R. publican dele gat. to he convention at Tomb stone: The delegates to the Terri iorial convention from the northern counties did moi manage entirely to conceal the fact that they were some hat surprised, as well as palnrd, ;,i the coolness of theIr reception iu this city. A number of them mostly representative men-stayed over here for he purpose of becom- ing better acquainted with our lead- ing citizens, but DO moro attention ton was paid to them than If they lad been SO many tramps. It would hardly have endangered our public credit had we rendered them little ht spi ality. Their reception by the people of Tombstone was in marked contrast to that which they received -or did not receiye-here.
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25
WHAT ARIZONA xEKDs.

We need less immense mining schemes and more real mining foE mineral. We need less curbstone schemers after gigantic fortunes and more men who will take of their coats and do something. if it be only to raise patch of cahbages. We need custom works, where the poor miner can sell his ton of orc for cash, nd not have to sii down and wait for A lot of ihicvibg expexs
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25
A SHOOTING AFFRAY.


 LOUISVILLE, Ky, Sept. 23-Harry Clay, well known lawyer and pol. iticiau and grandson of the great Henry Clay, was shot, and perhaps fatally wounded, yesterday by A. Weplor, q city counselor. Clay had been drinking and wanted to borrow money of Weplor who re- fused it. Clay then began to abuse him and went to get 8 pistol. When he returned they agreed to light it out. Weplor fired the first, the ball striking Clay in the groin. The wound isa dangerous one. Weplor surrendered. Later, Clay has since died of his wound.
Weekly Phoenix herald., 1884-09-25
TELEC RAPHEC.
UNDER A WOOD pile.

SAN FRANCISCO, Sept. 21-A dis patch from San Bernardino says the 5000 stolen f.om the express at Daggett, was discovered by delect- ives, buried under Q wood pile al Woods, The agent says that he put it there. He is under arrest.