Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21

WAIA
If society in Mexico is dead.
If. Bro. Shoots is not a hummer.
If the coolest man is not the ice
a
If the crustiest man is not the ba-
ker.
If the see,liest man is not the gar
dencr.
: Ii the greatest turn-coat is not the
tailor.
If the spooniest mar is not . the
lover. ed
If the artfullest man is not the de-
siguer.
If the most typical nan is not the
printer.
If the sweetest mar is not the con-
f%ectioner.
If the gravest man is not the an
derlaker.
When Ed Taylor is going to fight
that duel.
If the most cbangeable man is not
the banker.
If the most accommodating man is
not the broker.
If the most fees able man is not
the doctor.
If the most chaste man is not the
engraver.
If the most talkative man is not
the auctioneer.
If the most figurative man is not
the cashier.
If electric light is not cheaper and
better than gas.
If Rube is really going to buy the
Star Restaurant.
If Mexico will have a building
boom in the spring.
Why Alb. don't dye his hair, since
his girl requested it.
How a cross-eyed man can see the
elephant walk a wire.
If farmers of this county are not
improving their stock.
If some of our young people go tc
church to make love.
When Billie Morris will start out
with his trained birds.
If Mexico has not been lucky. as
regards fires this winter.
If all who sell out and leave Au.
drain do not come back.
If the Democrats of Mexico won't
redeem themselves this year.
When John A. Brooks is going t.
make his little speech in Mexico.
Why other towns in Missouri dt
not respond to the flood sufferers.
If there is anything new that yor
can't find on the LEDGER bulletin.
Why Lille writes to us every weel
about the habits of a certain clerk il
this city.
If Miss - is really broken
hearted because she did not marry a:
expected.
Why four times as many children
go to the public school as go to Sun
day school.
When Mayor Botkin is going tt
get married and move into his elegan'
new residence.
If Tucker did not meet an ole
friend at the Holiness meeting las
Monday evening.
If there will not be a big crowd Al
the Democratic rally the Saturday
night before the ward meetings.
If the majority of the male inhabr'
tants in the county, who are of age
are not going to for sheriff.
!. there are not a good many polit
ical snoozers in Mexico who sneez,
every time a few people take snuff.
How large a soul a man has WHIT
refuses to donate a cent to the flood
sufferers, and where he will go wheI
he dies. :
If a gentleman of this county, witt
pays $500 taxes, really pays $50
on dogs and 80 cents ON other valua
BILE property. IL g.
If there is NO way to let the publi'
know when we r really going t.
have good entertainments at til
Opera House. .
If Eli Perkins fame as liar dom
melt away like a SNOWFALL in Hades
as compared to Tumlinson & Gregg
ability in this line.
What young man came near beini
discharged on account of q lad.
calling to see him at his place o
business, and If she was warned no
to call again.
If the Lord: did not intend som
people who hold their noses very hig
to work the business end d hand
organ when on this earth. or to d
the accompanying dance
How long before there will be
circus, and if Wade & Ragsdale'
great stupendous l.0o0-shows-in-one
all on wheels, making q 100000
exaggerated Gigantic monstrosity