Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-27

"YOU are liar. SIR" said Jones. you are
a gentleman" retorted Smith Now we are
both liars
WHEN frogs are full grown they are noted
for their vocal solos. When quite small, and
in the polly wOg shape, they cOnhne themselves
to something from "Wriggle- ettO. '-PittsJUrg
ChF1alicls- Iele9rGDA-
4 CONCERT by a Chinese band was given in
New York on Monday evening. On the way
out a Philadelphia belle was heard to remark
Il never did care much for classical music
anyway. tiddslfhtd CAL.
AT the theatre: She-.sWhere have you
been, GeOrgef" He-"Oh, l only went out
into the foyer to get drink Of water" she
turning away her head)-"Mercy 1t smells
more like fire water than foyer water"
A DOG was recently seen fioatingon a raft,
eighty miles out at sea, and the Captain OF a
passing ship, after surveying the yoyager
through glass, refused to rescue hlm because
he had no collar on. and would have to have
his tax paid when he got to port.
WHEN it got out in Oil City that the Repub-
licans intended to nominate @'the best man in
the party the editor OF the BliszGrd took to
the woods and hid himself. He intends to
keep out of politics, having some reputation
and a family depending upon him.
A LONDON FIRM advertises for twenty bald
headed men willing to have patent-medieine
notices burned on the back Of their heads.
| The most successful inducement that could be
held out to them would be to offer them free
| front seats in the orchestra to see the ballet.
! FIRST DUDF-"Isn't the Amewican flag vul-
| gah?-' Second Dude-"Aw, yes, awful; wed,
| White and blue. such common colohs, y
| know" First Dude-"lets ivy to get con-
| gWess TO change it." Second Dude-"GOod
idea! The colohs should be burnt eweam,
cwushed stwaberry and mauYe brown
! Philadelphia CAL.
THE CongregGtjonalist says typhoid fever.
| scarlatina. and diphtheria are the results Of
! human ignorance. stupidity, laZiness and
! filth. If all families when nave had any OF
| these diseases get mad and stop taking the
! CongregatioRGlist, it will have to depend for
subscribers on the nice. clearly EsqumauN,
who never get them.-PhitadelDhia cal.
SCIENCE versus ReligiOn.-"What does yer
| understand about dis heah cOnflic' between
| science and 'lgion2r "IIt's my 'piniOn, brud-
! der Jones, dat when a Christian man what
| has perfessed 'ligiOn goes into de prize ring
/ and has conilic' agin science, he describes all
| he gets IF de scientist pounded dat Chris
! tian's head often his shoulders l wouldn't
| drap tear. '-Terds SiItiRgs.
AMAN IN the flower of ms age was standing
| beneath a porte cochere, his hat in his hand.
| \ dog was lying at his feet. Take pity upon
| a poor cripple murmured the man, IN a
| dOleful voice. 4 gentleman approached ana
/ examined the mcndicant. "But you are not
/ a crippler' said he to him. at IS not /, re-
| Piled the man: lit Is my dog, and as l have
! no means of feeding hlm 1 am compelled 10
/ beg for him. "-Freach FIN.
! PROFESSOR of English classics to student of
! Hibernian ancestry-'Wbat do you imagine
| will be the thoughts OF Macaulay's New Zeal
| ander when. amidst scene of desoatiOn. he
| sits upon broken arch OF London bridge
! skctching the ruins Of st. Paufst' Student
II think. sir, his. reflections, as he contem-
| plates the desOlatiOn around him, will most
| likely be on the cause that effected such rum
| P.-"Ges: very good" S.-''And he VIII very
/ likely say to himself, That Irish dynamite Is
mighty powerful stun when it is let loose y
| SOmerUitie journal.