The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-10-04
-. ARPBLY'S LITTLE JOKE.
He Explains Why He Came In by Way of
the Scuttlo III the Roof

the scuttlo III the Roof
Pittsburg Chronicle.
"Great joke I've had. explained Mr. Jarphly.
You see, one of the greatest failings of women
IS 70 think that after shutdown they must take
entire charge of a man. They seem to think
him able to take care OF himself in the daylight
but when night comes they want him at home
right under their eyes, where he can be safely
looked after and if he happens TO stay out they'll
patiently sit up and watch for him with a cast of
countenance to mend his back in case he brings
it home broken. But I've had great sport-great
sport | assure you
How
"Why. you see, Martha got in the habit of
sitting up at an early age, and she can't break it
OFF; so know Just about the reception I'll get
every night when | go home after tea. She's al
ways waiting in the front room for me, and Id
just as leave she wasn't. I'm fraid its getting
to be wearing on her health. Nlalaria's around
a good deal now
''Yaas." said the Cold Tea Man
II couldn't persuade her to 90 to he'd and mind
her own business, continued Mr.. Jarphly, $50
studied on the matter We live in one of the
center houses of block of five twostory and
attic buildings. There's scuttles in the roofs of
all of them, and persuaded Mr.. Greenup. who
lives i'll the adjoining house, to let me in his
house last night about l o'clock and went up
through his scuttle and over to mine and so down
into our bed room. l could see Martha from the
head of the stairs sitting in the front room. eye
ing the clock with look that was very tart
chrome. But undressed and quietly got in
bed, and there L lay waiting DEVELOPMENTS.
Every now and then I'd hear Martha give a
short. fdgety cough. Then I'd hear her get up
and prance around the room little and by
and by go to the front windows and slam the
shutters Then l could hear her talking to her
self, -'
Praying for you probaby?"
80 | reckon, and at last, after I'd laid there
about an hour, l heard her get up and go stand
out on the front step for good five minutes
of Il oil I vyha fbo .boD dI
was then. but was so comfortable in bed like, [
didn't care to look it up. Then she came in and
slammed the door, and locked it. and commenced
coming stairs. Every other step shed say, oh,
the wretch Won't giveit him. 1 know where
he is! [ know where he isl He needn't think to
deceive me, Oh, the villainr Bout the time
she had nearly got to the landing, [ think she
must have seen the light streaming out of the
door that Id left ajar [ could hear her STOP
and then | commenced to snore was afraid to
look you know, but | could feel her cautiously
come up to the door and peek in. Well, sir, I'd
given my pension from the war of 1776 to have
seen her about the time she saw it was me! III
bet 1t was fun. But l was afraid to do anything
but snore. Then she came into the ROOM and
by the way she breathed and stood around had
20 nearly bite my tongue off to keep straight
face on me. l could feel that she sat down in a
CHAIR and was dumbfounded. | never let on,
but kept on snoring like thunder but when she
kicked over Il chair turned and pretended to
wake up, kind of dazed like, and says:
Why, Martha, dear, amt you come to bed
YETI
" 'Jarphly, she said awful slow and solemn
like, when did you come inn
Why, must be four or five hours ago. Don't
you remember wheI. told you not to go to sleep
again in the rocker, but to come up to bedF
and turned over and professed to go to sleep
again.
''She never made any reply, but acted in a
dazed, bewidered sort of way and when she
got to bed 1 could tell she didn't sleep wink for
three hours Once she punched me IN the side
and said: Jeremiah, where were you tonight
and says: Why went over to hear Mrs.
Coldtaub's lecture on temperance; let out about
$50 Then L went to sleep. This
morning it was fun to watch Martha.
could hardly keep a straight face. At
the breakfast table and all the time 1 was
about the house she'd eye me when she thought
| wasn't looking; then when Id notice her she'd
turn away and be awful busy at something. She
caught me kind of grinning once, and by George,
| thought the explosion was about 70 come. But
it didn't. though the look of blank, unfathom-
able SUSPICION she Wore on her face all the time
was the greatest show on earth. 1t nearly broke
me up, and I've laughed till my ribs ache ever
since l know it won't last. | know there's a
day of repenting acoming, and the thermometer
is going up clear out of sight in the Jarphly fam
lily. But, as [ said who's going after troubled
It'll come soon enough without hunting it, and
I'm going to enjoy that scuttle in the roof until
the explosion comes. >