The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1884-07-30
wrr ANn HuItdf.

4
voted entirely to. noting down thl
l visits Of her besux. She calls il he
"A Georgia nan eompels his daagh
terfo eak pniahs every NIGHT for sup
PER. 'and at 1ap N that household /
! sleeping peacefaIly.
To Be at an evening party With |
cold IN your head and no handkerchie
Is worse than sitting up with your cir
and having the old lady present
A girl advertises for general house,
work or waiting" She Is evidently
one Of those who has ''learned to labol
and to wait - Philadelphia Cali
"A young wife's greatest trial. Is
| probably to lind out whether il would
De proper to starch her husband S
shirts all over. or only the bosom and
J cuffs
Lady. to small boy with dog
Johnny. does that dog barlrat night9''
Johnny. whois a. connoisseur in dogs
-''No ma.ami be barks at cats and
other dogs
A Massachusetts, minister saws he
loves his cat because it followed him
$50 miles. That is the very reason
why the MAJORITY, Of people hate cats.
Burlington Free Press.
It is said that nothing is impossible
| to him who wills. This Is false; for Il
is impossible to him who wills to keep
his heirs from fighting over his prop
erty.-BoStoH Transcript
A poet in HaTper's begins: .Ihave
found out Springs secret" It's not
every one who can discover hok 10
make his last Summers suit look Ike
3 new one Boston Rost. -s.af
What is the difference between
woman who decks herself In many
knots of ribbon. and one who patiently
endures misfortune? One wears her
bows and the other bears her woes
The Shah of Persia smokes a nine
valued at $4,000. We may expect to
hear at any time that The bank of
which the Shah is President has failed
for $4,000, 900 or $1,000. 00o.-Norris-
t0tcn Herald
Glass shingles are soon to supersede
the old wooden kind. and parents can
see just when TO leave OF spanking
without having TO let up three or four
times during the operation. Burling-
ton Free Press
A New York paper used &c" in
stead of a &C" and printed il the
New York Cab Company" II is
said that the members Of Sorosis feel
very much hurt about it, and will boy
colt the paper.
Teacher Suppose you have two
sticks OF candy and your big brother
gives you two more, how many would
you have then? Little boy (shaking
his head)-You don't know him; he
amt that kind of boy.
whats your occupation, BubPr
asked a visitor at the Capitol of a
bright boy whom he met in the corri-
dor. The boy happened to be a page
in the House. Il am running for
Congress, sir, he replied.
When you now salute New York
man with GOOD morning." he re-
plies, in frightened tones: at may be
a good morning and it may not; am
in the hands of my counsel and can say
nothing. - Philadelphia Cali
Some women are very much like a
teakettle. if you come to think of IT.
They will sing away ever SO pleasant
ly; then, all at once, they will stop
short in their sweet melody, and the
first thing you know they up and boil
over.
In Armenia girls are married at II
years of age. This enables them to
procure three or four divorces before
they are old enough to go on the
stage, and thus prepares them to come
to America with a star engagement the
first year.
'sHerei Do you know you are rid
ing in the wrong direction? This train
doesn't go anywhere near Philadel-
phia.H "Therel ] kept tellin' Of
him 'twan't right TO be ridin' back ard.
but he lowed he knowed it all. Men
is dreadful smart al ays.Y
| The most prosperous Journal in the
United States is little one in Texas
that is. if the editor does not exagger-
ate. He says: '.We arc paying of
the national debt at the rate Of hum
dred millions q year, and yet we do
not feel it. ."-IeIdS SifttHgS.
A man who had never seen a railroad
was being shown one by his friend, and
inquired the meaning of w and r on
the posts. The friend told him they
stood for ring" and "whistle." He
said he could see that wiring spells
ring, ''but how do you get whistle out
of RP''
Talk aboutyour charitable women, "
said Washington avenue man; ''why
my wife is so charitable that she gives
tramps all the clothes don't happen
to be wearing. and / firmly believe
that if female tramp would call and
ask for husband she would give me
away"
We are pleased to announce that the
usual number of college graduates thi
year will embrace the profession oi
! journalism. Whether the embrace viii
be returned can be ascertained in {
few short sunny months by taking
another census of the street-cornel
bummers.-LosceH Citizen.
A Russian is not legally n man unti
he is 26 years old. Fancy a Russian
mother saying. '.Alvirawiska. who wa
/ you last night?' and Alvi replying
: Only Chipmunkiwiskia, q little boI
| from over the way. We were cele
brating his twenty-fifth birthday.
A little Rhode Island girl was takel
; by her mother TO a dentist, who re
! moved tooth. OF course the opera
ton caused great deal Of pain. How
|, deeply the feelings Of the little on
+ were involved. appeared when repeat
: ing the evening prayer, she said
Forgive us our debts rs we forgiv
our dentists"
! Sanderson went home last evenin
: and found his wife in tears. What
|. up now?" queried S. '-Oh, dear,
8 sobbed Mrs s.. there's letter froi
Charlie; he has hired out to basl
+ bail club IS umpire. 1 told you If 70
a let him go out West he would turn Of
bad" Sanderson went without b
supper.-BfooklyB Times.
Miss Pert to young Oneoftheboy
who had been indulging q trife an
= had q somewhat vehement" breatl
= Did you ever stand near passin
: tramp s-Oh, yes. lots of times.
- :. ..iFeli. didn't Il take y0ur breai
= awaye'' Not at al, my dear III
= Peri. ;, well, what viii, then:
n Young Oneoftheboys felt his brea
I. I. j taken away by the question and slop'
- - at once.-BosloB Times @
et A young gentleman from High
be while calling On his girl here asked
"A her hand and heart and was accepte
II He told her that he had something
3 his mind for a long time, bur "
s5 afraid she would get mad. She want
u to know what it was then. and he ma
n her promise not 10 get mad. Says
- seT E1ra fzr1 Hr.r1f hara the r,qrftn
se tiary. That's nothing repliI
re she 81 have two brothers in the A
N kansas Legislature. - BooBUflle Top
1u Tempus fugit: Some people are P
p; etical By nature. but there are othe