National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-07-12
ABsENr-MINDED WOMEN. .
Jokes on the Gentle Creatures Who
Forget Themselves Sometimes and
Do Ridiculous Things.

~
Chicago Tribune.
"But speaking of absont-minded poo.
plo," said u West Slider, women beat the
nation at that. There is my wife, one Of
tho most careful and most levelheaded
women in the world. But ono night last
winter wo went to largo party and we
both, for special reasons, wero more than
anxious to appear we'll. Ny wife was
greatly concerned about me, rs l am tho
absont-mindod member of tho family,
and looked me over critically and care
fully after loft the coat room and before
we went down stairs. She was herself,
all right, of course, and was superbly
dressed. Wo went down in high feather
and had passed through tho parlors and
had spent o delightful half hour on
parade duty as IL woro, whom my wife
suddenly turned pale In what / thought
was fainting fit. / hurried her from
the room, and was about to turn the
house upside down in search of restora-
tves, when che clutched my sloove and
pointed to her feet. She had before
leaving home drawn over her shoes pair
of my socks, and had forgotten to remove
them. The thought that she had been
parading before 300 people with those
socks on was too much for her"
South Slider who had listened to this
said after indulging in contonted little
chuckle: "My wife tells almost as good
story as that on herself She is, as every
body knows who knows her at all, very
particular about hor dress, and she
grieves over spot on my coat or lack
Of polish on my shoes with grief that
will not DO comforted. She went down
street shopping on ono occasion this
spring, and in trying on bonnets became
little disturbed over the fact that non o
OF the new shapes suited her face. She
therefore picked up her parasol, walked
out Of the store, called on very aristo-
cratic acquaintance, and then came home
A glance in the hall glass showed that she
had no bonnet on. She had taken IL off
to try on tho new ones, and, as she OK
pressed 1t, had been parading along the
streets with nothing on her head but n
small veil across her forehead. She didn't
scold me about the spots on my coat for d
week."
II have better story than that said
superintendent ofone fthe departments
at Fields. "Not long ago fashionably
dressed lady came in early, and in tho
course of her bargaining put her parasol
on the counter near large feather duster
which one Of the clerks had been using.
After making some purchases tho lady
caught up the duster instead of her psrasol,
and went out hurriedly. As soon as
discovered the mistake sent boy after
her with tho parasol, but he did not over
take her until she had made quite jour-
ney.
I'm fact. she hourished that feather
duster along the street, flourished 1t about
as sho went into another store. and put il
down on tho counter, still under tho i'm
preston tina it was parasol. When her
purchases in the second store were made,
she turned to pick up her parasol, and
seeing the feather duster, asked for her
parasol. The clerk explained that she
had not brought any psrasol in, but had
come in carrying the duster. Sh,
was supremely indignant at such an init
nation, and was delivering the clerk {
sharp lecture on the subject when in cam,
our boy with her parasol and an EXPLAIN
ton. She was so overcome that she had
to be sent home in a carriage"