Middletown transcript., 1884-02-08
A JOURNALISTIC rENDERFoor.
BY BILL NYE.

mind as he reads this item in Table
Talk, this morning, similar exper-
lence, perhaps, though-perhaps not
SO pronounced and protuberant.
Early one summer morning gaWky
young tendefoot, both as to the West
and the details Of journalism, came in
to the Office and asked me for a Job as
correspondent to write up the mines in
North Park. He wore his hair long
lsh and tried to make it curl. The re-
suit was a greasy ceat-collar and the
general tout ensemble of the genus
Smart Aleck,'' He had also clothed
himself in the extravagant clothes of
the dime novel scout, and beautiful
girl-rescuer of the Indian country. He
had been driven west by wild desire
to hunt the fragrant Sioux warrior and
do a general Wild Bill business. hon
ing no doubt before the season closed
TO rescue enough beautiful captive
maldens to start young Vassar
college in Wyoming or Montana.
told him we did not care for min
ing correspondent who did not dxnow a
piece of blossom rock from a geraniuna.
| knew it took man a good many
years to gain knowledge enough to
know where to sink a prospect shaft,
even, and as to passing opinions on a
vein, it would seem almost wicked and
sacreligious to send man out there
among those old grisly miners who had
spent their lives in bitter experience,
unless the young man could readily
distinguish points of difference between
chunk of free milling quartz and
fragment of bologna sausage.
He still thought he could write us
letters that would do the paper some
eternal good, and though I told him,
as he wrung my hand and left, to re-
frain from writing or doing any work
for us, he wrote a letter before he
had reached the home station on the
stage road, OF at least sent us a long
letter from there. 1t might have been
written before he started, however.
The letter was of the we-have-
went" and &C I-have-never-saw'' variety
and he spelled curiosity qrossity.n
tie worked hard to get the word into
MS alleged letter, and then assassinated
t.
Well, we paid no attention whatever
o the letter, but meantime he got into
he mines and the way he dead-headed
eed and sour mash, on the strength of
lis relations with the press, made the
lder miners weep.
Buck Brammel got little worried
nd wrote to me about it. He said
hat our soft-eyed mining savant was
citing us good many subscribers and
'riting up every little gopher hole in
Iorth Park and living on CINCINNATI
uail, as we miners call bacon but he
aid that none of these fine blooming
'tters regarding the essays on the
The Weasel Asleep y &c The Pauper's
'ream, . The Mary Ellen'' and 'sThe
yer Draft, f." ever seem to crop out in
le paper.
Why was it
l wrote back that the white-eyed
elican from the buckwheat-enameIed
aims of Arkansaw had not remitted.
as not employed by us and that /
ould write and publish little card of
production for the bilious literteur
lat would make people take in their
animals and lock up their
ont fences and garden fountains.
In the meantime they sent him up
le gulch to find some "float.n He
I'D wandered away from camp thirty
liles before he remembered that he
ldn't know what &C float" looked like.
hen he thought he would go back and
lquire. He got lost while in a dark
rown study and drifted into the bosom
the unknowable. He didn't miss
he trail until a perpendicular wall of
lie Rocky Mountains about 900 feet
Ugh, rose up and hit him athwart the
ose.
lie communed with nature and COW
les one night and had pretty tough
me of it. He froze his nose partially
1 and the coyotes came and gnawed
is little dimpled toes. He passed a
retched night and was greatly an
Dyed by the cold, which at that ele-
ation sends the mercury toward zero
through the summer nights.
Of course he pulled the zodiac par
ally over him and tried to button his
paca duster little closer, but his
eep was troubled by the sociability of
e coyotes and the midnight twitter
the mountain lion. He ate moss
ates rare and spruce gum for break
st. When he got to camp he looked
e forty-day starvationist hunting
: job.
They asked him if he found any
at, and he said he didn't find a
lmed bit of water, say nothing about
at, and then they all laughed a
rry laugh and said if he showed nm
daylight the next morning the orders
re to burn him at the stake.
The next morning neither he nor the
It bay mule on the Troublesome was
be seen with the naked eye. After
It we heard of him in the San Juan
ntry.
Ie had laeerated the finer feelings of
miners down there and had yio-
nj the etiquette of San Juan, 50 thev
ked flour barrel out from under
/ one day when he was looking the
er way, and being poor tight-rope
former, he got tangled up in piece
inch rope in such way that he
of his injuries. Detroit Free
'Ss.
'uU Nnv VarIr