The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-04-03
Wearing Mourning.

We had all article on this subject sew.
eral months ago, and the following sem
sible remarks from the New Orleans
Times Democrat, on the same line of ar.
gument as that advanced by US, may do
some good:
There is one old and long established
custom that women ought 10 possess
moral courage enough TO take into their
own hands and settle for themselves on q
simple and permanent basis. 1t is the
custom of wearing mourning for depar-
ted friends. The putting on and taking
off of black within stated time is in
itself, in stead of compliment, en- in
suit to the dead. One does not pu: on
and put off ones sorrow in this way ;
there is theref re no reality to the fash
ion of symboIizing it. y loss by death
is irremediable; the grief Of it may be
hidden away, but it lasts forever. 1t is
true that the desire when one has lost a
near and dear friend is for silence and
darkness, for neutral tints and for the
presence and association with only that
which harmonizes with our own sense of
loss and bereavement. But we cannot
often indulge in this selfish absorption,
and exclusion-and it is doubtless good
for us that we cannot. Our lives 30 out /;
our duties remain. They must be per-
formed. We put our gricfs away. We
do not intrudo them upon others. We
look them up aud keep them as a sort OF
luxury for quiet hours, when indulgence
will not interfere with our obligations TO
the living, with active participation in
the duties of the hour. There is M
reason, of course, why women should 10
violence to naturul feelings and wear
high colors and gay ornaments at time
when their hearts are saddened by heavy
loss. Let them lay aside what they no
longer take pleasure in, aud wear their
simplest, plainest, darkest dresses; but
why lay aside what is perfectly suitable
and even in harmony with their own
feelings and incur much unnecessary
trouble and expense 10 order merely to
put on garments a little deeper, a little
darker, little sadder and which oblige
an entire change in the habits of life
the avoidance of much that would be
healthful and salutary rather than harm
full, the adaptation of social conditions
to the circumstances and accidents of ar
individual, and the actual creation of 8
code of ethics, the observance of which
depends on the presence or depth OF
Grape band. The most ardent supporters
of outward ard visible signs of woe arr
those who are least sensitive to grief, bu
who like the novelty of an entire change
of wardrobe and the pleasant excitemen
of finding out exactly what ought ane
what ought not to be done under sucf
circumstances. AS there is no authorized
code the rules extracted from self consti
tuted authorities arc often more amusing
than practical or reliable. To man.
limited but we'll intentioned women tn
imagined necessity for "doing as othe
people do" in this regard is source 0
extreme embarrassment and perplexity
Perhaps they cannot afford the outlay
perhaps they have only recently, by din
of much contrivance, replenished thei
wardrobes perhaps it was not nea
relative; perhaps the relative lived at
distance. All the facts are agitated pr
and con TO make case against assumin!
this new burden; and the only argumen
OIL the other side, the strongest feeling
is this, that if they do not conform t.
common custom they will be the subjec
of common and impious remark. Thi
is naturally much stronger in small
neighborhoods and communities. 1t
therefore the duty of any woman o
position and influence in such comml
mites to set an example in the right di
rcctiou, and afford the moral support o
this influence to her poorer neighbors
In cities women out of q certain exciu
sive circle are fast emancipating them
selves from their traditions.