The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-06-19
HUMOROUS.

The most courted belle-the dinner
bell.
The Egyptian injunction-"Mum-
my's the word"
81 have pressing engagement" re,
marked Adolphus, as he started to see
his sweetheart.
If doctor says you owe your life
to him never employ him any more.
lie may collect his bill.
A woman spanking baby with one
hand and trying to write poetry with
the other, labors under great literary
disadvantages.
"This summer ladies are dressing
their hair as they did hundred years
ago." says newspaper This makes
some of the ladies pretty old.
"a young wife's greatest trial. is
probably to find out whether it would
be proper to starch her husbands
shirts all over, or only the bosom and
cuffs.
In some Eastern countries the face
of the bride is never seen until after
the marriage ceremonies. And then,
sometimes, the face of the bridegroom
is never seen any more.
al want Chaucer," said a custom,
er to a clerk in bookstore, looking
over the list of English poets, =" Fine
cut or plug?" inquired the young
man, putting his hand in his pocket.
James, who was trying to sew
new button on his coat murmured:
"They say there's a new yacht that
makes fifteen miles an hour, but this
thread makes twenty knots min
ute."
VOICES OF THE MORN.
'Tis happiness to lie awake
And watch the coming dawn,
That silently proclaims o all
s'Another day is born?"
But with the rose there is q thorn
Which makes a man grow thln
1t is to hear: "There! John, get up,
And let the milkman in."
"Can you paint me sign at once?'
"Yes: what kind of sign do you
want?" "a sign Of Irain." A cloud
lowered on the painters brow, and
fearing an immediate storm, the hui
morist left.
"What did the lady sing for your
inquired Jones of Brown. Oh, Fan
Dovel Oh, Fond Dover "What did
she sing that old thing for?' Be
, cause she was Fond Dove it, l pre-.
sumo"
"No, sir" said the worldly young
man to the life insurance agent, p"
don't feel prepared to have my life In
sured just yet. do not care to fee
that | would be worth more dead thar
l am alive"
, If the King of Siam has 2S6 children
a as the exchanges unanimously dc
y clare-the readiness with which he
> parting with his white elephants
, explained. He is obliged to sell
: meet household expenses.
10 "They tell me my wife plays supert
le w." $50 does mine "How SO!
le never hear her" "The day after W
were married she shut the piano, an
he hasn't opened it since" "Indeed! (
er pause.) How she must love YOU
'p 1t is the custom among a certai
y caste of Hindoos to cut off at the fir
Joint the third and fourth fingers OF
woman about to marry. This ve'
in much lessons the hair-pulling pow
" of Hindoo woman and renders h
lie grasp upon the handle Of broomsti'
n exceedingly uncertain.
ID "Your fare, young lady," said II
Ii stage-driver, as pretty miss stepp'
in from his vehicle, and was about tri
,st ming away. "Oh, thank you, IT
ng ponded the absent-minded lit
Ir. beauty; Il think your mustache /
en- comes YOU real well, too." She
he her ride free.
er- woman will wear hat trimm
re- with birds, a sheaf of wheat, a SIN
IN, alligator and other articles of like
up scription, and be perfectly happy. \
to that same woman will complain /
Us terly if her husband happens to COZ
els home with a plain, ordinary, eve
re- day brick in his hat. Such, alas,
'ui- the inconsistency of woman.
m Deacon Dewgoods son return
home very late the other night iron
pressing engagement with his pre-
."' sweetheart "Where have you been
'"0 growled the old man as the youth ca
'o' sneaking up stairs in his stocking f'
Dear father" he replied. "ryc b
cod to a protracted meeting" And
in good old man upbraided himself
sins having treated his son so harshly.