The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-10

No MAN ever made an i'll figure WHIT
understood his own talents. nor o good
one who mistook them.
Some one asks: How long is q maI
bridegroom?" Not very long. ms
majority of cases he becomes "shcrt'
before the wedding tour ends.-Norris-
totcn Herald.
as THIS q singing doll?" asked she
of the clerk. "fes, Mademoiselle.'
"How do you make it sing?" "Just a.
you would any other young lady,
allow is that?" by pressing it," "0r
"Do you paint yet?' asked an old
friend of o feminine artist, whom she
had not seen for many years. YES"
was the answer, II sti / pant. 1 paint
the children red and put il ON with my
slipper"
so Miss SKIMps and Mr.. Limbs are
to get married. Well, 1 declared That
aged couple. And she is old enough
to be his mother" Indeed she is.
And as for him-why, he's old enough
to be her father"
THE SLAM or LIPE.
Tell me not In monrnfnl Numbers
Life il but an empty drasmI"
IL you eat, say. two Gu umbecS.
Things WIKI be just what Ghcy seem.
-Chattan0oga Peoples Paper.
certain dusty village looked as if they
needed washing" The printers set il
up "all the widows" A score or more Of
letters came ain haste. ""stop my paper"
-NashvitIe World.
AN Arkansas Grand Jury has indicted
Justice of the Peace for attempting to
play on clarionet. This will for a time
satisfy the country that the Grand Jury
system is not an entire failure.-Arka1l-
so,O Traveller.
PURE woMAN's LOVE.
Womans greatess beauty Is love:
It's tested. oft-times shaken:
il nourished, like rose IL blooms,
But withcrs II for s,ken.
Then blsst IL he by wDom It's nursea-
BY God twas IN tae and given;
There II no greater beauty than
Fuss woman $ love-Is heaven.
-PhilddelDhtd Call
HER STRONGHOLD WAS TAFBY.
She had no wealth of flowing tresses;
She had no won trous score OF tin:
Her mir and purse, tne bard oonteSses,
Were rather tim.
You wonder. then. what was her dewere
Well, will try TO tel You briefiy;
1t was her taTy-givng power.
Foremost and chiefly.
Harvard LamDOoH
THE hour was twilight. and as the
luster of the stars grew brighter in Che
gathering darkness he pressed his lips
to the forehead of the beautiful woman
who stood beside hlm and said tenderly:
when will you consent to name the
day of our union, darling-to let the
wings of my imagination rest" She
answered, nesting her cheek against his
shoulder: when You have had your
life insured, dearest. and made me a
present of the policy"
A MERCHANT in Berlin, having fallen
in love with an opera singer, purchased
two dresses and sent them to her to
make her choice, saying he would call
to know her decision. Shortly, how
ever, before the hour he had intended
to set out on his errand. the merchant
received from his beloved billet dOaLr
to the following effect: "Of the
dresses you have sent Ike one quite
as we'll as the other. / viii. in fact,
keep both. SO that you have 10 need to
CALI
VISITOR you should know the
Simpkinses. They are such cultivated
people and have no end OF wealth.
They winter every year in the south Of
Europe" Hostess-"I must. indeed.
They can tell me the most desirable
places for us to spend the winters here
after" Visitor And do you think of
going abroad ?" Hostess-"Oh, yes!
You see, it don't matter muoh where we
live now, as my husband has retired
from business, and L thought few
winters in Europe. varied by an oeca-
sional tour around the werld, would"
Hostess Daughter (opening the door,
ma, here is the butchers boy again
with that same horrid old bill. Shall
tell him you're not in again. like the
last time ?"-Erchdnge.