The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-02-28
a HUN DUDE,
And Why.He IL Permitted TO Breathe

And Why.He IN Permitted 10 Breathe
the FREQ Air Of Texns.
Chicago Ee1s:.
"lalk about yer dooda," said q Texas
stockman, on the Chicago, Burlington 4
Quincy train last night, "but a lectle the
doodest dood I ever seen wuz a TELLER that
come from Boston into our ken.ry a year
ago las September
"He didn't stay in Texas long, l guess"
said a little man in a silk hat.
"Yts, he's there now."s
II thought they wouldn't lie. q dude live
in Texas"
WAL, III tell you how 1t was We come
to lot him stay. Eo come down there
with his peeked boots an his tight trousers
an yaller kid gloves, u slingin' more style
than q new congressman on the 10th OF
July, and n-tel,in' folks that his doctor said
bed got the consumption, an d have 10
live In a warn climate"
"Ah, yer, Of course, you piled tho poor
fellow, and let him stay, on that ACCOUNT
"Not exactly thai; but, rs l was sayiu',
he slung his style like g Mormon walkin,
by q United S:ates Murshsl's office, Wsul.
one night he came into Il SALOON where d
lot Of US wuz a drinkin', and Q steps up TO
the bar an says: 'Aw--I ssy, bah tendah,
give q triils Of NV VAIN Lemonade Bill
Jackson snorted right out, IN then aaysie
Boys, what dye cay? lets make the dood
drink GIN It WAS u 90; 80 Bill wa!ka up
and slsps the dood on tho back like he'd
bresk him two. Bills the best man on tho
musael in our hull kenny. say saws
Bill. you'd better drink GIN sAh-but it
ia VAIN lemonade | deAiGll,' says the dcod,
.Waal, says Bill, warm lemonade don'tgo
in these ERE parts; you drinks gin or
nuthin' you year me- 'I:-aw-seems to
me you're mistaken says the dude, 18th.
out seemin' TO SEQ there WIZ trouble ahead:
Il want to-aw-dwink VAIN lemonade.'
al he reached out for the glass. Bill wunk
q. the rest 81 US an says to the dude:
Dye know what I'm agoin to do ci you
tiles to drink anything. but gih%% 'Weaily,
! do not, NAH deah boy WAL s1ys
Bill, I'm a-Goin' to stand you on yer hsad
in that air box O. eawduet.' .Ay-,hAt
would not be wight says tho dood, a tip
pin up his glass 10 drink. Bill reached out
an grabbed i'm by the neck, an I never
seen q man git licked 30 quick.n
"Bill was too much for him, was hep
mo Stree, it wuz tother way. 1t wuz
Bill that got licked. Jerusalem and
Gin'ral Jackson, but how that dood did
jump abnut f.! an every time e Jumped he
fetched Bill IN the eye err under the ear or
along the jaw, an Bill couldn't gst within
gun shot NV i'm. Why tibet sir dood had
more tricks fur fghtin' than Bill ever
dresm't Nv. Fast he'd DO behind Bill am
then on top Nv lin, an then under i'm, an
every time Bill opened an eye the dood
sluck a fist in Terry fist, it didn't make
no differ'nce to him. He WIZ Just about
es handy with his thumpels es any man
necds to be in this world. It din't take
him more'n q minute 10 go all around Bill,
and over i'm an thro' in the bargain, AM
then, when he had Bill pretty we'll licked.
he took him the all6redtst crack on the
nose an sent i'm over in tho corner behind
the ice.box like p bundle q old clo'es."
"What did he do then Z" l.
"Why, he just turned aroun' an'brushed
the Eawdus. oil his kee where he'd ducsed
down to como up under Bill, an says lie
Gentlemen, Will you all join me-sw-in
a VAIN lemonade 2 An We jined i'm too
quick"
EYES, he's there ye'; en- I guess lie kin
stay unless the consumption gifts away
with i'm. There hain't nothin' else down
there tibet kin do it, that's sure"