Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1884-01-12

Mr.. QuinhyW
"I'm blessed II / do" replit
n Jack, AFTER close scrutiny nliev
saw you before in my life that / ca
n remember.
"My name" said the visitor, g
EutrnpiuS Brown, aud ! hay
brought you the coffin you ordere
last evening. II you show me
i the decreased. Mr. Quimby, / wi
arragge everything without turtle
delay, i believe you remarked tn
corpse had already been two day
4 on ice.n
4 Quhmby looked at his visitor, an,
then darted 10 the window Snr
enough, there stood black wagoI
outside the door.
"My dear SIR" he said, ssthere
no body dead in this house. This !
"A business house, and you are quit
mistaken about the address.
never ordered a coffin from you
I've got no one TO bury, and-and 1
strikes me-" added Jack, CROWN,
desperate, "that you are alt0geiheI
in error-.in fact, that you are no
quite right in your mind"
lis not your name John Quinn
by9'
"It is; I'm Quimby /; but greal
heavens, 1 have no use for an un
dertaker." So
"Then why" said Brown, In an
excited voice, .'why did you come
last night to my establishment and
ring the night bell? Why did you
tell me to bring along, the firsl
thing in the morning, the nobbiesi
casket in the shop? Do you think
this is fair treatment for decent
undertaken, Mr.. Qaimby ?' Do you
think,
For the Lords sake, be quiet, ("
gasped Jack. "Here are FIVE dol
lars for New Years present. Say
no more about it. Take your cas-
ket back, and i will call on you this
afternoon and square up the balance.
Don't you see that ! was not my
self when : spoke to you about that
interment? Now, GO away like a
good fellow, I" and Jack pushed Mr..
Brown out, and sat down again to
his invoices with heavy heart.
"IIow full / must have been" he
mutIered. $40 order a coffin; why,
that's the worst lever did. 1 wish
Ilcould remember something about
what happened after 1 left BentOn's.
But can't; 'tis no use; Fnr a
wretched swine, aud not long for
this world. Pm"
'.Gentleman wants to see Mr..
Quimby," shrIeked the messenger.
"Don't disturb yourself, Mr..
Quimby, 'rcried Il short, stout man
with bull neck. Just ten-thiTty.
Come to give you your lesson rs per
CONTRACT, and swinging sack from
his back, he took out q set Of boxing
gloves, and smiled complacently al
the astonished Quimby.I.1 81 +.
What the dickens are You doing
here ?" calculated that individual,
AS soon as he recovered his breath.
"Your boxing.lesson, Mr.. Quinn
by. Contract drawn up, sir, last
night. Signed in the presence of
Mr. Gilmore. Hours from ten to
twelve every day at this Office. See
for yourself" And the pugilist
Jack a paper on which his
own signature appeared, with Ell
more and several others as witness
es, TO an agreement between Sam
Slogem of the first part, and John
DUMMY, of thesecond part, wherein
it was agreed that said Slogem
should instruct said Quimby In the
manly art OF self-defense, between
the hours of ten and twelve at his
Front street Office, at 50 SO a lesson.
Heres five dollars" said Quinn
by /; take it for your trouble, Mr..
Slogem, and come about the latter
end of next week !" And az the
pugilist put his gloves away and
off Jack elasped his hands
about his head and fell into a train
Of serious thought.
"I've been Off" he said, but never
80 off as i was yesterday. A coffin
and boxing where the
deuce could ] have been, anyhow ?"
LET me in; must see himl
Curse him! I'll kill the cowardly
He insulted my wife
say let me in! I'll have his life"
fhe voice and the scuffie were out
'ide Mr.. Quimby's door. at
''ImpOssible, sir, impossible. Mr..
Quimby is gentleman, and never,
knowingly, insulted any one.
This was quite enough for Jack.
He felt cold chill all over, and,
ieizing his cane and hat, shot down |
/ side entrance. ..
''Where are you going, Mr. Quinn
ly ?" asked porter.
ITO the dickens !" SHOUTED Jack.
fhe whole world is coming here
With collins, and boxing-gloves and
nsulted wives. Pm craZy-plum
.razy. Out Of my way, or pll kill |
'ou." And the wretched man dart
d into the street, sprang into a
rack, and fell back on the seat In a
of complete exhaustion.
n n
On the third day OF January,
Hiss Alice Benton was informed
hat Mr.. John Quimby craved au-
Hence of her.
"Why, Jack, how pale you are,
nd how miserable you look" she
as Mr.. Quimby made
Ter a very humble bow, and cast on
Ter a glance full Of the most implor-
ng penitence.
"Alice," he said, "do you remem!
er New Years day."
"Of course 1 do"
81 called on you Alice" II
Certainly you did, Jack; and
ang a song, too. Don't you remein-
err
Remember; yes, quite well--at
aaef think l tln Ruf after that |
lice, after that''-
Come, Jack, don't look 30 hor-
Or-stricken. What occurred after
hat"
Heaven alone knows. only
now about half, and there must
= hundred precincts yet to hear /
rom. ] went to an undertaken and
r,!ercd coffin: invited a bruiser
D call At my office during business
Iotr- and spar with me; insulted
oi.cbody''s wife; borrowed mon
y from every one In town, and
here were thirty two creditors
saiting to see me In the hall yes
erday; / have seven pairs OF boots |
making for me In various parts oil |
he town; have bought land, ships |
SD-partnerships, grain, clothes, guns
lin fact. Alice, find that, begging
our pardon, Satan has got such q
on me that he took this
,Oor carcass on New Years night, \
nd have come to swear on, once
md forever
sou what will you swear, Jack =
Now nsind you, this Is = serious