Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-04-12
NIC0DEMUS DODGE.
How He Made His Debut in = Print
ing Office

! When I was boy in printing Office in
Missouri, a loose-jointed, long-legged, tow
headed, .jeans-cIad, countrihed cub of about
! IL lounged in one day, and without remov-
ing his hands from the depth Of his trou-
sers pockets or taking off his faded ruin of
! a SLOUGH hat. whose broken brim hung
| limp and ragged about his ears like bug
eaten cabbage leaf, stared inditierently
around, then leaned his hip against the
editors table, crossed his mighty brogans,
aimed at distant fly from crevice in his
upper teeth, laid him low, and said, with
| composure:
"Whar's the boss"
- am the boss said the editor, follow
ing this curious bit of architecture Won
deringly along up 10 its clock face with his
eve.
Don't want anybody to learn the bust
ness faint likely?"
well, don't know Would you like
to learn it,"
"Pap's so; pa, he can't run me no mo :;
so | want 10 get r show somers if can
faint no difference what. am strong and
hearty, and | don't turn my back on no
kind of work, hard nur soft"
Do you think you would like to learn
the printing busines%
"Well, | don't reilly k'yer 4 darn what
do learn. SOS get chance fur TO make
my way Pd Just as soon learn print'n's
anything"
g Can you read ?'
Yes-middhn'"
Write ?"
well. I've seed people could lay over
me thar"
Gopher ?"
Not good enough to keep store, don't
reckon; but as far as OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
amt no slouch 'Tother SIDE Of that is
what gifts me"
Where is your hone%'
Pm I'm old Shelby
What IS your fathers religious denomi-
nation Z?
Him? Oh, hes a blacksmith"
No, no don't mean his trade. What's
his religious denomination 2"
"Oh, didn't understand you beto', Hes
a Precursor"
No. no-you don't get nay meaning yet,
What | mean i, doe he belong to any
church ?"
Now YOU are talking. Couldn't make
out what you was q tryir' to get through
yo head no way. Belong 10 a church
Why, boss, hes been the pizenest kind Of
q treewill Baptis' for years. There amt
any pizener oncs'n what he Is. If they
said any dihTun, they wouldn't say II whar
/ wuz-not much they wouldn't
What is your religion p
Well, boss, you've kind O got nae thar
What is your name y
"Nioodemus Dodge"
" | think maybe you'll do, Nicodemus.
Wen give YOU TRIAL, anyhow
All right
when would you like to begin ~
Now"
50, within ten minutes after We had first
glinpsed at this nondescript, ne was one Of
ua, and with his coat of and hard at II.
Beyond the end Of our establishment,
which vas furtheat from the street, was
deserted garden, pathless and thickly
grown with the bloouy and yillaIncus
" iimpson weed and it, common friend,
the stately suntlower. In the midst Of this
mournful spot was decayeo and aged lit
tie frame house with but one room, one
window and no ceiling; II had been =
sm0ke-housc generation before. Nieo-
demus was given this lonely and ghas;iy
den as a bed chamber.
The village suarties recognized a treas
ure in N.codemus, right AWAY bait to
play jokes on. ]; was easy to see that he
~, inc9ucciyahly green and contiding.
George Jone~ had the honor Of perpetrat-
ing the first joke on him; ne gave him a
cigar with trecracler in it, and winked
70 the crowd 10 come on; the thing eX-
ploded presently, and swept away the bulk
Of Nieodemus eyebrows and eyelashes.
Tie simply said
consider these kind Of secg'yars dan
gcrscme, and seemed 10 suspect nothing.
The next evening he waylaid George and
poured a bucket Of ice water over him.
One day, while Nicodemus was swim
ming, Tom McEIroy tied MS clothes
Nicoaenus made c bonfire Of Toms by way
o. retaliation.