St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-12-06
AN EDITORS DREAM.
BY SCOTT WAY.


Tread by the author before the Peninsular
Press Association during the literary eNer-
cises of the Annual Convention on steamer
Breakwater.l
Once upon time village editor sat
in his quiet sanctum industriously pe-
rusing the political editorials in his
daily city exchanges. At length that
which he read began to have its legiti-
mate effect; the editor nodded once,
twice. thrice; his eyes closed, the city
daily fell from his nerveless fingers,
and three flies lit upon his bowed bald
head and balanced all, and swung cor
ners, and swung corners and crossed
over, and promcnaded all around, to
the music of the rythmical editorial
snore. The village editor was asleep;
and sleeping. the village editor
dreamed:
He sat at his desk with weary fingers
and aching head. The last local item
had gone into type, the last inside read
ing notice had been set up, and the
youngest apprentice stood grimly by,
with lines of impatience upon his
brow and daub of ink under his left
eye, waiting for more copy. Suddenly
there was step without, the door
opened, a man entered, and taking the
vacant chair in front of the editors
desk, to which the editor had politely
called his attention. he said:
'.My dear sir; my name is John w.
Smith. am a subscriber to your pa
per, as you very well know, and being
in town to-day thought l would take
the opportunity to call and tell you that
like your paper, all but one thing: you
don't print enough matter on the tariff
question. Poetry and stories and funny
paragraphs and local items may do well
enough to fill up paper with in ordi-
nary times, but just now the country is
awake to the tariff question, and if you
want to keep your paper alive you've
got to give your subscribers light on
the tariff. You should not have less than
three columns of editorial and five col
umns of extracts on the tariff every is
sue. That's all I've got to say, and
hope you II bear it in mind. By the way,
owe you for two years subscription,
and one of these days I'll call in and
pay it. Don't forget to let yourself
loose on the tariff; goodbye
As the man who wanted more light
on the tariff passed out, little nerv-
ous-looking person came in and took
the vacant chair.
'.Ahm he said, with a smile that
didn't look strong enough to be out,
..ah, my dear man, l see you are alb
sorbed in thought, as IN editor always
should be. And that -eminds me that
YOU are neglecting-alnost totally neg
iecting science. Too n,,ch of poll
tics, too much of politio, nv dear
man; your paper will neve grow in
circulation while yon neglec, science
for rolitics. You should deVvte not
less than four columns week /, sci
ence. That is all l came in to say Be
in some day and pay you for my ub-
scription. Good day; don't forge.to
give us plenty of science"
The footsteps of the man who wante,
science had not gone beyond the edl
tors hearing, when third visitor en-
tered and took tine vacant chair as
he were accustomed to sit in it.
.ram sorry to note that you are neg
lecting politics just at this importan
reriod,.' he said, kindly, but gravely
"You should strive to keep the wits
principles of our party constantly bs
Il iLayour paper in all but it, lack
this respeet, and some day, perhaps
the beginning of next year, / will sui
scribe for il. I see it now every wee
at Browns Office. II you would VIII
about five columns OF fresh politics
editorials every week, you'd see yo'
naper going right up in circulation
That's what I told Brown yesterda
and he agreed with me. A story an
An article on science occasionall
with . little local matter and fe
marriage and death notices to plea
the women are all well enough. but
can tell you that . country paper
amount to anything ana nave lniuenc
has got to be full Of political sII matte, g,
want any points on politics. I'll be gil
to help YOU out. And. by the W.
don't forget that am candidate t
the Legislature. Good day..
The next visitor that took tho