Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-08-20

| mont. has, az IaSU, DSoH SouleWLau
checked?-[ Life.
A NEW YORK youngster of tender
years was being shown that thrilling
picture in the Washington Ratchet, the
scene at the cherry tree when little
George owns up. The youngsters
| mother was impresslng upon him the
| moral of the story, dwelling much on
the love of truth shown by the juvenile
father of his country. But he had to
own up, mamma" broke in the young
ster; "don't you see he's got the
Ratchet in his hand?"
'LooK here" said an Austin dude to
newspaper reporter, you tell me
couple of good jokes. l want to get
them off as original, you know, at lit,
tie social gathering tonight. I'll lend
you S. if YOU do" 81 don't think it
will work." replied the newspaper man,
pensively. Why not?" " | am SO
blamed poor that if am found with So
on my person I'll be suspected OF hay
ing stolen them; and you are so blamed
stupid that if you get off good Joke
everybody will suspect you right off,
Texas Siftings.
Mr.. ISAAC CANE, a rich shoemaker of
Liverpool, who left his property to
public charities, opened his first shop
opposite the building where he had
been a servant, and put up a sign which
read: 81 Came-from over the way"
Something like this was the sign of a
tavernkeeper named Danger, near Balm
bridge, who, having been driven out OF
his house, built another opposite, and
inscribed on it, Danger from over the
way" The successor then retorted by
putting up new inscription: "There
is no danger here now"
A LADY in a suburban town was
called to the front door the other day
by the ringing of the bell. She saw
the "deliverer" of an encyclopaedia
publishing house, who asked: "Does
Dr-live here?" EYES," was the
reply; "what do you want?" 81 have
an encyclopaedia for him in my wagon. %
said the young man, "and would like
to leave it." as it big one?" asked
the LAZY. YES" was the reply. "Well, "
she murmured, "I don't know what the
doctor bought that thing for. I am
sure he will never learn how to ride it.
And big one, too! Well, well,
some men sre FOOLS"
AN Austin Sunday school teacher
made an unsuccessful attempt to assist
little boy to comprehend what con-
science was. He asked: eff you have
been diligent in your lessons, and per-
formed all your duties faithfully, you
sleep well, do you not?" The little boy
shook his head. "Let us suppose that
you have also been obedient to your
parents, don't you experience feeling
of quietness when you retire to your
couch ?" "No." "But after you have
given something to the poor, and been
kind to your playmates, do you not
then sleep more soundly?" "No, sir,
not in our house. The last bottle of
insect powder we bought is no good"
j Texas Siftings.
"YEs, sir" sternly spoke the grocer,
Eve must have system; everything be-
fore you came was worked with rule. "
can you want me to iine In an be
worked with rrlle too, do you9" asked
the clerk. Exactly, young man, you
have struck it; if you can't go by my
RUE you Will nave 10 S0Oh duOGutI
place" Reckon I'll have to go, them"
sadly unused the clerk, cause swore
that if ever / got away from my dads
I'd fight clear of rules" "He worked
you by rule, then, did hep" asked the
merchant. Eyes, sir, he did; one of
those three foot sticks, made outen hic'ry
and bound with iron; tell you, sir, I've
been worked by that rule SO much that
it makes my back cry to have anybody
mention rule"
"THIRTY years ago." says James Free
man Clarke, [ tried the new method
of pronouncing Latin. was travelling
in Italy. My wife happening to see a
priest pass by, asked me the meaning Of
the tonsufe. At that moment not rec
ollecting its significance, [ said: I
don't know; but there is priest, and /
will ask him. Not knowing Italian
then, I first constructed Latin SEN
tence. [ thought I had made it very
we'll, and then [ put it exactly, as [
imagined, into the italian pronun-
citation, got it ready to say, and then
went to him and said it. Eth! che
dite?' he asked. I repeated it again.
'Ah!' said he, I understand. Here,
take this man to confessor; he wants
to confess his SINS This was as near
as I ever came to the Continental pro-
nunciation of Latin, and I have never
tried it since" Every Saturday.
A MiIIiOnaire's Piano.