davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-04-08

A band box-The orchestra enclosure.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
WEIGHING AND MEASURING.
Mr. SmaIls Method TO Protect Sell.
era md Purchasers.

ut is very urgently necessary" said Mr..
Small, the District sealer Of weights AMI
Measures, TO a reporter, "that action shout 1
BIO taken by the present Congress to simplify
the methods OF Weighing and measuring and
to protect the purchasers OF produce, etc., In
our markets. There are many serious draw.
backs to tho present system or want OF system.
1t Is almost impossible to detect and prevent
fraud. 1t Is practically impossible to secure q
conviction when It is detected, and a large ma.
jorfty OF the purchasers have very little
knowledge OF the methods OF weights aud
measures, and are blissfully ignorant OF any
fraud that may be perpetrated."
"Can q remedy be foundT
every readily; II Congress would abolish
the dry measure altogether and compel deal
ers to sell by count and by weight whenever
either OF those methods are possible, II would
enable us to prevent fraud and secure COM
plete supervision OF weights and measures"
"What would BIO the advantage Of this &C.
ton 2"
swell, you see, It is not easy to cheat any.
body on articles that are counted, and there
are many things now sold by measure that
should be sold by count, and In addition TO
this weights are more easily regulated than
measures, and tho principal thing Is that the
confusion OF dry measure and liquid measure
is the main source OF fraud. Every purchaser
in tho market, every householder, every hon
est dealer and every honest citizen 10 inter-
ested I'm simplifying tho methods of weigh.
ing and measuring and throwing every safe
guard and assurance OF honesty about every
purchase and sale OF articles OF food"
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
RAILROAD RUMBLINGs.
Matters of q Personal ana General
Interest.

John L. Yacklc, the polite ticket agent OF the
b. & o. Road, at No. 610 Pennsylvania avenue,
says bueiness Is booming over hiB line. He
says the January business has been better than
any corresponding month for the past eight
years.
J.A. Pickle, passenger ngent OF the O., d. &
@. Road, has returned from business trip
through Pennsylvania in the interest OF his
road.
Colonel W. +. Barker, assistant superin-
tendent OF the Pullman Sleeping Gar Company
OF. this division, returned from New York yes
terday morning.
John A. Bartlett is running tho local between
Washington and Alexandria as conductor.
Il. d. Shubrick, OF the Pennsylvania Road,
was in the city yesterday. His headquarters
are in Philadelphia.
The managers OF the Virginia Midland and
the Richmond & Danville system are perfect
ing an arrangement 10 place limited express
OF Pullman sleeping and BUFFET cars between
New York and New Orleans. Tho running
time between these two points Will be thirty
nine hours instead OF fifty-four as at present.
This fast palace train will DO drawn from
Washington to Danville by the fine engine
which took the prize at the Louisville Exposi-
ton last year. At New Orleans II will connect
with similar fast train via the Southern Pa.
ciflc for points in Mexico and Southern CALI
fOrnfa.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
The Virginia Midland Railway.

THE TRUNK LINE TO THE SOIITE
SOUTHWEST AND WEST.
Schedule In effect NOVEMBER IS, 1882
8:35 A. M.-NEW ORLEANS MAIL daily, max
ing close connections to all points South anc
Southwest. (Daily except Sunday with O. q o.
Hallway. Pullman Sleeping Buifett cars from
New York and Washington to Atlanta. Pull.
man Sleeping Cars from Washington and At
lanta tc New Orleans.
5:io p. M.-LoUISvILLE FAST LINE. Daily
via Charlottesville TO Cincinnati, Louisville
and all Western points, Pullman Sleeping Cars
from washington to Louisville.
1910 p, M.-sOUfHEIsN MAIL AND EXPRESS,
Daily 20 all points South and Southwest via
Danvllle and Charlotte (Daily except Sunday
with q. d o. Railway. Pullman Sleeping Cars
from washington via Danville, Charlotte and
Atlanta to New Orleans also, from Washing
ton via Charlotte and Columbia TO Augusta.
Manassas Division train leaves Washington at
b:35 O. m. daily except Sunday.
Warrenton trains leave Washington ut 8:35 a. M
and $40 p. m. daily.
For tickets and Information inquire at Com.
pany's once, Col Penna. ave. or ut Union Depot
nj. SLAUGHTER N. MACDANIHL,
Gen. Pass. Agent Agent.
SOL HASS. Traffic Manager.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
Army OF the Potomac Reunion.

The Society OF tho Army OF tho Potomac will
hold its next reunion In Brooklyn, N. ", on
Juno IL and 10. Brigadier General Horace
Porter, formerly chief OF stan to General
Grant, Will be orator, and John Savage Of New
Ma1or.General John Newton, president; Gen.
eral M. I. Mcmahon, treasurer; General Ho.
ratio q. King, recording secretary; General
George A. Sharp, corresponding secretary. As
THE CRITIC took occasion TO say, not long after
tho last reunion OF the Society OF the Army OF
the Potomac,we say again, wo hope the Exeou.
tive Committee Will make all arrangements
for the meetings OF the corps' societies and the
general society strictly In accordance with the
articles OF the constitution and bylaws Of the
societies, affordlng them ample time for the
proper contamination of all business that
may be brought before them, thereby avoid
Ing the possibility OF an assertion that Its &C.
ton may not BIO legal.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
The Grand Army.

The annual Encampment of the Department
of the Potomac, q. A. r., was held last evening
at Grand Army Hall. The various posts were
well represented and 1876 persons answered to
the roll-call. Several addresses were delivered
and received with applause.
The annual election resulted in Colonel d.
8. Alexander being chosen as Commander of
the Department of the Potomac. Past Com
mander N. NJ. Brooks, OF Lincoln Post, No. 8,
was declared elected department senior vice.
commander; s. A. II. McKim was elected de-
partment Junior vicecommander; DR.. Flor
ence Donahue was elected medical director,
and the Rev. Ben Swallow chaplain. General
Stewart Van yliet was unanimously elected
delegate at.large to tho National Encampment,
TO meet in Minneapolis in Juno next.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
Delegates TO the Central Republican
C0"mftfea

The Republicans OF several OF the twenty
two districts met last evening to elect dele
gates and alternates to the Central Republican
Committee, which will name the two delegates
TO represent the District OF Columbia at the
Chicago Convention.
In the Tenth District the election resulted as
follows: Delegates--C. 8. Burley, Charles Hur-
die and Marcellas West. Alternates-S. J..
Asher and ]. z. Butler.
The Thirteenth District elected as delegates
A. NJ. Clapp, j. II. Smith and William Chase.
Alternntes, Lenham Gibbs and John Curry.
In the Twenty-nrst District John A. Bayley,
Robert Washington and Walter Middleton were
elected delegates, with Edward Atkinson an
Henry Gettes as alternates.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31

1t is not true, AS reported, that Commissioner
OF Pensions Dudley Is In favor OF abollshing
the pension agencies and paying the pension
a letter TO Mr.. Washburn, OF Minnesota, OF tho
House Committee on Appropriations, stating
that 1T would not be advisable to change the
present system OF paying pensions, because It
would be moro expensive, cause great incon.
venience TO pensioners aud much delay In
many instances, and tho change would throw
the work OF payment behind.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
THE EVENING CRITIC.
EsTA BLIsHED AUGUST 1893.
WEATHER INDICATIONS.

The special bulletin Issued from the signal
Ofllce to-day says.
on Friday rains are indicated In tho Middle
and South Atlantic States and New England,
followed in tho two frat named districts by
clearing weather.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
BALTIMORE & OHIO RAILROAD

THE MODEL FAST LINE AND THE OILY
THE East East A aNEH TmM WEST,
DOUBLE ThA sTkhn 1 RAIfsIY oouPLERi
Schedule dull to take effect SUNDAY. NOVEMBER
Leave Washington from station corner of New
Jersey syenge. and street by Eastern Standard
or r sotn f,icasn Hin lime;
daily a. SoS 4. NJ, iOI5 A. M, 10 10 P. M, with
Chicago except Saturday.
da EST FL = " q 81 Nj s s1
trS%i, With III Isl Sleeping Cara 70 Plttsburgh.
ing and Lake Erie Il, II. ''- Ao'''o' VI" "hee''
A. daily EXCEPT Sunday en sO sew or aed ~ 1919 SS
Mdsiiy With Parlor and Sleeping Car attached.
$40, 800 and zoos A. M, isio, Ss5 SSS. 40, SyS'
aSg aSminute tran) 40, $780, 100, $40. 10 and
For baltimore on Sundays GO, 800 800 A. M.
onP saSday 80 a H. AZ LILO and 40
mere mere 5,e'4o'9A. NJ, I2ioP. NJ, $50. 44O and
For stations on Metropolltan Branch, $40
N. daily; for principal stations ON Metropolitan
Branch: $40 daily except sunday; for Lexington,
and ~ SiS F. e. daily ~ ea
For Hagerstown. 1o.i5A. NJ, and $40 P. M. daily
except sunday.
Fol. points on s. v. N. r., Is n. m. daily.
Trains arrive from the West daily, 60, $50 A.
From New York and Philadelphia, 2.55, $50 A.
Nj daily $40 . p A. daily, except Sunday;
Sunday, 1870 A. NJ. 6SP. M.
daily, except Sunday.
From Frederick and intermediate points, s.25,
1000 A. NJ 215. f20 p NJ and 500 p. NJ daily ex.
cept Sunday: 500 p M daily from Point OF Rocks.
Trains Ieave baltimore for Washington at2, 40,
$780, 715 $3.50, o, $40 and 1890 A. M, IL 49, $50 A.
4.40. 6. 0.25. 7S0. and 1918 p. M; on Sundays q
40. 1880. o. BIO A. NJ 100 8. OBS. 7.30 and Z. M.
ton except 400 u. M.
For further information apply at the Baltimore
~ Ohio Ticket Onice, Washington station 8i0 and
1851 Pennsylvania avenue, corner of Fourteenth
street. where orders will be taken for baggage to
be checked and received at any point in the city
"; N. CLEMENTS, NJ. Oft, Baltimore. O. X.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31


senator Mcpherson, Of New Jersey, and
Coke, OF Texas, had q little tariff debate In the
Senatorial caucus on Monday afternoon that
was somewhat interesting" said a gossiper to
a CRITIC man to-day.
slow was thatY" THE CRITIC man asked.
"Well, don't know how II came up, but
MIR. Coke said tho Democratic party must revise
the tariff this winter II they would succeed In
electing President. This brought the New
Jerseyan 10 his feet, and he laid down some
law to the free traders. Ho said that II tho
party preferred tariff tinkering TO the cleo
tion OF president, It would be tariff tinker.
ing" Now said he, I'VE have the Presiden.
tial election In our own hands. We can act
wise and put our man in the White House, or
we can put In our time on the tarifr and In
making muss, and we Will have nothing but
q tafin muse. Which shall II be -tarln tinker
Ing or the election OF a President?"
"What did senator Coke say?"
"He thought he would take a little tagia
tlnkerlng In his'n and risk It," p
"Alderney Datsy NaE0ns.''
,, Fresh Alderney buttafs !iMrned overy morn
per ID. Also csscfge cbbxe, buttermiIk and
sweet miiksoc. per at. Cream 15c. per pint.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
Sunset.


Wearing Aurora's robe night after night,
Some radiant spirit rules the western sky,
Drowning the sun tints with such rich sup
ply
or colors weaved of unremembered light,
That II would seem the Master-palnter's
Had wrought anew Hts pallet there on high,
10 tell the tired world rainbows shall not
die,
Which frst his pledge OF promise did indlte,
Forged newly like a steelblue cimoter.
The crescent moon shines keoner lhan OF oh,
And, as the drawn sword OF one armed for Wtr
MaGshals those hosts OF crimson, green aud
gold.
TIL underneath the quiet Evening star
The great review pales ont into the cold.
--HeFni1l M.iFiCUd.
a Man by Iho Name of McCOrk.
"a man by the name OF Mcoork
Tried hard to eat soup with fork
But after awhile
lie learned that his style
Created considerable talk.
"a friend took occasion TO state
Thathed never got through at that ratei
When he took uphis soup
Wltha cyclonic swOOp,
And drank It all out OF his plate"
-Efdggerdtlng E1change.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
RAILROADS.
NNNF7777I7I0I7|"@I78
TNIIE GREAT
PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE.
TO THE NORTH, WEST AND SOBTI

TO THE NORTH, WEST AND SOUTHWEST.
DOUBLE TRACK. SPLENDID SCENERY.
STEEL RAIIs,MAaNIFICENT EQUIPMENT,
TRAINS LEAVE WARRINGTON, nom Station
For c f,s, OF sixth and streets, as follows
E1SFeS ss,i3, eI rsiqSs ssspns At 90
Iss' tG p EiatPS5Sss T1e daily with Palace
csgo via Columbus and So c 81 aay or CIT
With Sleeping Car from Pittsburgh TO Chicago;
the West, with Palace sleeping Car trom a ana
ington to Chicago. " "'"-
BALTIMORE & POTOMAC RAILROAD
For Erie canandalgua Rochester, Buffalo, Mag
ara, at 1000 y. m. daily except Saturday, with
Issse Cara e ia to ana
ington on Saturday night Will not run beyond
For, Wiiiiomsport, Lock Haven and Elmira, at
For New York and the East, BIS A. NJ, 1850 A.
M 1 Il % AGO. ca 1879 e And ills NJ On Sunday
Pullman Parlor Cars, o.4oA. M. daily except
For Boston, wlthou. change. 14e p. NJ. every
week day; on Sunday, r NJ.
For Brooklyn, N X. al through trains connect
HiioIdi9S direct transfer % Fulton street avoid.
For pBaaelphn 5 SS nnS i Ssy YS M Gty
Ills M Limited Express, so A. NJ daily ally
For Ba,' g lie, Sls 30 1900 losoA NJ and
on sunday Sao Isl io C 4O Ioo Snd a1S .d p MI
and Ills p. M. ' WV ''''' iVV'
For Pope,s Creek Llne, ESQ A. NJ. and 4.4o p. M.
For Annapolis, $50 A: M. and 40 P. M. daily. OK.
cept Sunday. ~
ALEXANDRIA & FREDERICKSBURG RAIL-
TON RAILROAD.
For Alexandria, 6s5, 40, o25, Hos and II. IS A.
~, 40 40 5,0.25 sos and lbs z. M. On Sun.
rd DAY , e. SO, g2S; d ~ A; M soSP.
ITALY ht,y, ana 4. M, dniIy, except Sunday
Trains leave Alexendrla for Washington, Cos
so5 1910 and lo2 M, 4, 3o5. 322, $40. To5 and
md 1910 A. NJ, 705 and 1910 2. M
Tickets and information Mt the office, northeast
corner OF Thirteenth street and Pennsyl vana ave
nue. and at the station where orders can be left for
the CHECKING OF baggage to destination from hotels
and residences.
j. II. WOOD,
- - General Passenger Agent.
CHAS. Il. PUGH General ManaSer
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
DeseryedIy Popular. ,
"No Place Like washington"

Mr.. Phil A. Julien, well known In this city,
and who 10 now in Las Vegas, N. NJ, and con.
nected with the Daily Gazette OF that city, has
written a private letter 10 George Hill, esq,
congratulating him upon the fiftieth ami.
yersary OF his wedding, from which we arc
permitted 10 make the following extract. It
will be observed that Mr.. Julien, like other
Neutrality-suspicious. who have gone hence 10 seek
their fortunes, has yearnlng for the old
home;
'sLAs VEGAS, N. NJ, Jan, 30, 1884.
s'My DEAR BROTHER HILL; see by THE
CRITIC that your good wife and yourself have
been enjoying golden wedding, aud that Col
onel Morgan was among the guests. Although
10 a land Of gold, have not yet found It In
paying quantities, and cannot, therefore, send
you a tangible gift OF the shining metal, but
can and do send you sincere and heartfelt CON
gratulatlons on having reached the port which
marks half a century OF welded bliss, and
earnest wishes for many moro Anniversaries
OF the event, Hope that your good health con-
tinues and that your happy spirits have not
begun 10 flag. / am helping to edit the gazette,
not a very hard task, butplenty for the money
get The climate is excellent, but that Is all
/ can say. II 10 isolation typined. While
there, as was eighteen months | fell In love
with Denver, but after all there is no place
like Washington"
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31

IN delegation from Richmond, Va, Interested
in the construction OF hospital for ex-Con-
at Richmond soon, is in the city soliciting
aid by way Of clothing, all kinds OF goods sold
usually at fairs and also money. ThR0esfe-
qnested aid OF W. W. Corcoran. go no gave
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
Choice Lines

Of ladies' and gentleme9s hapssse%ed shoes
in great variety of widthf sssstyles made OF
the very best materjat Very large stock Of
misses and sehiidren6 3hoes Of the best
makes; e}<edt moderate Prices, at II. 8. Gar
trelLsrJ00 Seventh street, corner OF 1.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
PROF. A. ]. DEXTER.


Who was located In Jacksonville, Florida, last
winter, and for the past slxi months ~ Mime
npols aud 81. Paul. MIMI, who Is Endorsed by
9eenih sS Street Washinsion, d. g., for the
winter. and Is now prepared TO treat patients from
regular graduate Of medicine. Send for q copy
OF Magnetic Journal mailed free TO any addrcss).
ton. Magnetic Medical Balm cures grea. NUN.
mond Medal presented by patients cured on ex.
hibltion at office, General Dents sworn affidavit,
low we give the pames of q few Of those cured
General Dent u s; Grants brother,in lay,
n. W. Il, r., ofiloe corner Hennepin and Fourth
streets, Minneapolis, rheumatism, indigestion and
neapolis Jot1Tai, rheumatism OF the pleura; Geo.
T. WGliahan. commercial editor Of Pioneer Press.
St. Paul kidney and general debility; Il. Swift, IT,.
cashier Of the. Minneapolis Tribune, aprained
ankle; j. J; Jordan, foreman newsroom Tribune,
edor rs Dayton aYsnSe st. Paul. iiVer Kidneys
snd ths aGs a Hr pasP
PIailvlew, MINI, consumption, liver, Kidney and
bladder; j. y, Eredrick, passenger, conductor on
.RNilroad residence iSi East thirteenth street 81.
sSsy I'd Judge e e 1Ss
s Miss Nj y: LonEworths niece. No: Eleventh
e and hp asss ! naa rs Es
Third street, ct, Paul, wholesale hardware mer-
etIaw, aprained ankle, Jacksonvlie Fla; Hon
BenJ. Upton, Baldwin, Fla, dyspepsia; Laura NJ
Lasot ne, formerly postmstress Lake City, Fla
deafness and heart disease; MIRA Antonla Lance
mother Of Captain lance, OF the steamer Sylvan
Glen, Pilottown, Fla; paralysis; w. w. Wheeler,
contractor and builder, Jacksonville, Fla anchy
losis and rheumatism.
VIII give 10000 to the poor OF this city n the
original testimonials. afldaVts etc.. to the names
above are not on file a. my Office aud the news
paper notices as published in my Magnetic Jour
nal are not genuine.
Omce IOursi Ga. M. 20 IL ma; ~. M,
toD y. n.' 10 Y =. n. Sundays; 10 10
lli1O u. M. only.
PROF. a. J. DEXTER,
ONCE; $50 Iath street. Residence,
Wizards Hotel.
WASHINGTON, D. Q.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
"LAs VEGAS, N. NJ, Jan. 30, 1881.
Collars ana Guns

at Morgan's steam laundry, GIT Einta street
northwest. Lowest prices.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-01-31
THE MORNING NEWS,

Local and General, Boiled Down,
worked Over and Furnished lup
Fresh.
, 1884-06-17

I"Aentor" in Chicago Herald.l
Eyes, | saw a mar hanged once" remarked
a passenger from the west, "and I never want
to see another one. 1t was a most dreadful
thing. | had known the poor victim for
several years and had dealings with him. He
was the stingiest man 1 ever knew, too.
When wo got on the scaifold it happened
that stood Il little to his left, but pretty near
in front of him. Well, sir. all the time the
preacher was praying he looked me right in
the eye. There he stood, within a minute OF
eternity, just about to launch forth into tho
great unknown, and with the death-glitter
on his eyes, gazing directly at me with a
fierce, stony glare that makes me shu1der to
this day when l hin of it." "What do you
think the poor mans feeling were at such an
awful momentF' "Well, that would be pretty
hard to say, OF course. But l ave always
had an idea ho was wishing, NJ he looked me
right in the eye, that the proceeding could DO
suspended long enough to give him a chancc
to dun me for 81 L owed him.
, 1884-06-17

lCor. Brooklyn EnEle.l
When in Philadelphia l am always utruck
with the mac passion Of men for bags. The
women of that town nave II weakness for
green dresses. Their husbands, brother and
beaux indulge their fancy for the color In he
shape OF bags, which one might imagine con-
tanned anything from a "cat' that wanted to
get out to n burglars jimmy. Books are
sometimes suggested by sharp protruding
corners; oftener luncheon, If Ones soaso OF
smell is delicate. Bulk i~nsinuates a dress-suit
for a hurried toilet down town, and occa-
s~lonally eggs are limited at by tue caro- the
carrier evinces in avoiding collision.
Generally speaking, these bags are made of
sober green cloth, drawn tight at the neck
with a piece OF black braid, and sometimes,
when daugled from the hand of
frivolous youth, they are enlivened by
gorgeously embroidered monographs. Seri-
ously speaking, however, there is some
thing odd in the extent TO which this
old London fashion is carried "ir the
most truly American city" as its inhabitants
love and are proud to cali Il.
, 1884-06-17
ANACREoNT1c.


Boston Transcript
Nay rrown not, fairestl Glide no more,
Mo- blame the blushing wine;
Its fiery lips are innocent
When thrills tue pulse with thine
Go, leave the goblet in my hand,
But veil thy chances bright,
Lest wine and beauty, miugling hero,
Should wreck my soul tonight
Then, dearest, to the ancient rim,
In %sculptured beauty rare,
Bow down thy red, arched lip. and quar-
The wine that conquers care;
And breathe upon the glowing cup,
Till thus its perfume be
Sweet rs the scent of orange groves
Upon some tropic SEA.
Then. while thy fingers idly stray
In dalliance Ger the Tyre,
Sing to me, love. some rare old song
That gushed from heart OF fire
Song such as Grecian phnlanx hymned
When freedoms fell was won,
- And Persia's glory, with the light,
Faded at Marathon.
Sing till the shouts of armed mon
Ring bravely out once morel
Sing till again the ghOst-white tents
Shine on the moonlit shorei
Bid, from their melancholy graves
The buried hopes to start
l knew, ere many u storm had swept
The dewdrops from my heart
Sing the deep memories OF the pastl
Ny soul shall follow thee
Its bouudless depths are echoing
The glorious miIstrelsy;
And Us tho sweet vibrations hang
Enfettered on the air,
I'll drink, thy white arms round me, love
The wine that conquers care.
, 1884-06-17
RATHER TOO SUCCESSFUL.


A Vile Arranges II Homo saloon for
Her Husbands Benefit
Detroit Free Press ,
A few days ago a Detroit wife was reading
a newspaper article which tickiel her almost
to death. "How to Keep Your Husband at
Home and it was about the Troy wife who
turned the sitting-room into a saloon and
thus welded her husband to his home and
kept him in nights.
This Detroit wife caclled and grinned and
cackled again, and vowed that she'd follow
the plan to the last detail. That evening,
when her husband had finished his supper
and was making a rush for his hat to go
down and see a man on $780, 900 worth OF
business, the e~xultant wife led him into the
library. There was sawdust on the floor, six
big spittoons artistically arranged around
the room, and a bar on which rested half a
dozen bottles of beer and a supply OF beer
glasses.
any angel wife, may heaven bless your
exclaimed the husband, as no looked around
him and too in all tho details.
Then he walked around and expectornted
in each spittoon, aud he walked up to the
bar and swore like a trooper and called for
beer. When he had drank it he kicked over
the chairs and said he was just as good as
Vanderbilt or any other man. When he had
imbibed some more beer he kicked over tho
bar and broke the bottles, and as soon as his
wife began to talk politics no blacked her
eye and went in to clean out the place.
When the neighbors finally got the
man quieted down, things were end
wise and crosswiso all over the house, while
half the neighborhood were hunting for a
tire-alarm box and the other half for the po-
lice. When the hystericky' wife had finally
explained her plan to the mob filling the par.
Tor, the husband sat up on end amidst the
wreck. and waved his fists about and
slouted:
"You bez your boozl Nicesz s'loon in zhiG
town! Nicesz wife In D'troit. body
come up'n driz at my 'spensel Whoopl
Wherever man who wants 'er run out
.L-LA-EI