New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1884-06-22

The more | muSCd upon my ulSCoN'lS '''' i4''
convinced became of its vital truth And narrow
watching served only to fix my belief. she enjoyed
nothing in the sphere to to which she had dedicated
her hest energies and talents She found the pleas
IRE of triumph-of having it said and accepted that
She was dams c monde but she found no other pleas
ure whatever There something almost CHASTITY
in her rigid and fervid adherence to what she de-
tested She lacked the courage to fling away her
hand and quit the game she went on playing be-
cause others payed-bccauSc it was the approved
thing 10 DO. She had been bitten By craving to
have herself conceded an aristocrat She had lost
the power of securing any comfort from ohScurt|.
If the whole system OF fashionable society had been
swept ont of existence, she would have reJoIced
While it continued she must be in It and OF It, she
secretly despi,ed and loathed it. She thought it a
vast pretenson and sham. But she must pretend
among the preteudets and sham among the sham
mers
I remember very clearly the special evening on
which resolved to tell Mrs Bridgeway of my con-
vctons OF course meant 10 do So with all due
courtesy and discretion 1t after a particularly
splendid dinner Of which we had been common par
ticpants When the gentlemen rejoined the ladies'
IN the great drawing room l dropped INTO SoIt
easy-chair at Mrs. Bridgeway's side.
e You did not enjoy the dinner at all boldly
began. d" was watching YOU across the table You
seemed distrajk out OF spirits.
She looked at me with unconcealed surprise.
Then she gave one of her high clear quick laughs.
She always had the same nervous mode OF laughing
as of speaking.
You were too far away she said. THAT ac-
counted tor cvcrythinG'
"Ah. Won don't mean what Won tell me- ven
turcd g am afraid. Mrs. BrdEeway,' went on
with uuwonted earucstne-s and gravity. that You
tha
reasons"
What reasons ," she sharply asked.
Very general ones. Those which make You fan
to care for society under any of It's conditions
"Who told Won that ?7 she questioned with tart
brlsknc-- of tone.
ANY own Imagination is my sole informant l
said summouIng all my amiaJlIlty as l leaned
several degrees nearer to where she sat.
She drew long breath as though one of relief
slightly closing her eyes Presently she started INTO
"a new posture. She laid one slim hand, III IT. long
glove upon my arm and thea instantly Withdrew
it, She was looking at me with excessive earnest
ness
81 see" she said. low of voice bat quite rapidly.
Won have read me. You have found ont my
crct. often have wondered that nobody ever did
SO before"
" l. It then a secret ~ | asked.
"Oh deep one. But dour mind letting you
know it-especIalIy since You have guessed IT, l
doat enjoy society. | abomjnatc society. There,
the truth is laid bare
e. Bur You 20 into society You 80 more than
most women
She shook her head in an odd wav for an instant.
I perceived too that she was covcrt.y biting her
lip realized that for once i'm her life of form and
ceremony she was radically sincere. She no longer
bored me now she interested me extremely. l was
prepared for her next words. when they sounded,
fleet somewhat faint aud rather close to my listen
ing ear
do 20 into society more than most women;
you are perfectly right IN saying so. Bat hate it
all the same can't leave it; it clings to me Ike
burr II was sort of craze with me at first.
shau't assume any airs with You you're Il Manhat-
tan: Won know | wasn't anybody at the start. |
began iu dnc earnest; l thought it splendid 10 be
an arlstocrat. to look down on the boTg'Otsie, TO
shine among the social elect. Well, do | think so
still? That is hard to answer No and Yes. have
my moments of vast democratic yearnlug l have
my convictions that was never meant ty nature 70
move along ia the pompous and meaningless mas
querade AL Mr.. Manhattan, l have my rcS0lrls
also
Your resolves go Guered.
"Ycs. Indeed yes l determine, on a certain
afternoon. let MS say. to quit the whole nonsense
'o NAN, - .. :, -. .,,,;,,.,1
'''" anu 90. l It,, for +Li. mr.
.."- ''' i'- ,,.l +i,,s ,.,,.b il,
'"' ''' - -. 90 o~r,,,+,,r
of their departure Ihdte The meI Of being forgotten.
! could manage my good intentions 50 easily If 1t
were not Tor that one wretched provlso-b~HQ for
oo.tep' Yol viii say that such feeling implies re-
,p,ct for the fashionable world. But l haven't the
T'i"'t'7' I''P''' lo' I've Iai, 5-,.1i,..
s"'u"- d." rs -. - - ,rlar, -
'"' '"'' VI "'' .t...,,,+i.- .1,o,+
" ''' '"'" '"-"'' '''' I-I 80
IT, lua' W." Ho' l'' i'' '''''f' 'y ".''- 'l',
Ana tH' "H''' matter C'',''' 9'"l ~ .-' '.,I
To nave II I'I+e' me- 4 ~ 49,