The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1884-07-16

TIE mosquitoes auger il IN approptl

TIE mosquitoes auger is IN appropk1
alton bill
A MsER is often surprised 1t clos
quarters"
WHEN does . tree feel eontented
, When it's sappy.
IT is not right to make game of Z
man out Of season.
The reason why awoman always add.
. postscript to her letter is because
she's bound to have the last word, Il
she has to write it herself.
SAID the Colorado man: mo; VI
never committee suicide by hanging N
our State. A man doesn't want to be
suspected of being lynched-'
Two marriage certificates, confront
| ing a man at the same time, are as de-
moralizing in their tendencies as .
mortgage coming due.-Cari FretzeFs
Weekly.
A Texas man will 60 four or i've
miles to get q drink. 4 Vermont man
won't. He'll just hang around the GIN
mill all the time, and allow him
self to get four or five miles from it
Only an acre Of leather.
Laced vi b a turlong Of twine,
Shutting over . crossing
Bea,ing q figure divine.
One after the other they Re lifted
And fall With a horrible thud-
The feet OF a Syracuse damsel
SpIashing along through the mud
Utica Ojssrrer.
as YOUR wife acquainted with the
dead 1anguages:" asked the professor
of a Newman man. maybe she u.s."
was the reply, "but the language she
uses is entirely too warm to have been
dead very long.-Newm1an Independ-
ent
FARMER-I don't know what to do
with that old pillow. Citizen-Real old?
Farmer-1es; in fact it's too old for
any more use. Citizen-Sell it to the
first minstrel show that comes along.
They always use old things.-Break-
fast Table.
$50 YoU'vE got a piano, Mrs. Biten,"
said one lady to another. Eyes, we've
had it for three months" "How did
you get it," SCOT it from amsn down
town" "Did you take it for debt, like
we dido" "Oh, no; but Bitten says it
will be taken for debt, if he doesn't pay
the second installment pretty SOON
Merchant Traveller.
BEEcHER says four-ffths of the peo-
pie in heaven will be women. That is
all right enough. Nobody ought to
kick about that. Four-ffths of the
women are better than men, anyway,
and they ought to go to heaven. But
according to that story, what a stag
party there is going to be standing
around the fire in the other place.
Peck's San.
"OH, the road is smooth enough"
said the placid conductor to the com
planning passenger. "There isn't .
smoother road-bed in the United States.
It's the cars that jolt. Company took
the springs out last week, to oil them,
and didn't get them back in time for
this trip" And the complaining pas
senger grumbled no more, for he felt
that he was in the presence of the Star
Liar.-Hawkeye.
FROM Pat in America to his sweet
heart in Ireland:
20, Bridget, dear,
Be coming here,
X ght to the arms Of Pat:
Don't stay away
Another day
Be alter minding that"
To which Bridget replies:
20, Pat, my lad
Now DOM feel bad
I've married Barney Rue;
And we'v. q by,
To give you joy,
I've named the child for you"
THE BLoKE TO HIS CHUMMX.
Hey, Jimmie! are y wild me2
I'm on a lay to stag fake,
Plank your Doodle, it's a graft,
An Use sure to give yer rake
Yes, Jerry lad, I'm wild We,
Bet jer life. troo tick an tin:
We's tea ker blokees. we ia,
An our lush bees always gin.
Yves been pals for many years, jim.
Since der time we did a six:
Dey nabbed us in der crib, Jim,
D'beaks nailed us at our tricka
we didn't stay fur long, Jim,
Its hard to hold dis crook;
knows yen keep EN- to yerselk,
Der means by which we snook.
~Dey on y yanked us once, Jim,
Since den we's both got fly,
An dey never more will scoop us,
Cause we does tings on der sly.
Each night, down to der boozin keA
Well meet at nine, OIL Jim,
An no matter wat de game may b.
Our lush will still be gin"
Nm. NJ, Jr., in The Judge