davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26
A RenlnrlInhIn EScnnn.

Mrs. Mary a. Daley of Tunk.
hammock, Pa, was afflicted for six
years with Asthma and Bronchit.
is, during which time the best
physicians could give no relief
Her life was despaired of, until in
last Octuber she procured a Bottle
0! Dr., Kings New Discovery, when
immediate relief was felt, and by
continuing it for u short time she
was completely cured, gaining in
flesh 50lbs. in a few months. Free
trial Buttles Of this Certain cure Of
Of all Throat and Lung Diseases at
Mossman's the Druggist. Large
Bottles 81. s,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26
T'nous,,p:ls say So.

Mr.. 7. W, Atkins, Girard, Kan,
writes: ~ never hesitate to recon.
mend your Electric Bitters to my
customers, they give entire salts
faction and are rapid sellers" FL.
ectric Bitters are the purest and
best medicine known and will pos.
itively cure Kidney and Liver
complaints. Purify the blood and
regulate the bowels. No family
Gun afford to be without them
They will save hundreds Of dollars
in doctors bills every year. Sold
at fifty cents u bottle by Mossman,
the druggist. A,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Tcachcr-tWhat was the Trojan
war;" Bright boy-"It was a war
between the Greeks and the Tro.
jams for the possession of Helen,
tho wife of MeneIaus, who had
eloped with Paris, the sou of Phi.
am" Tcachor-"How long did
that last2" Bright boy-"Twenty
years" Tcacher-"How did il
endH' Bright boy-"l forget.
guess ii just fzzlcd out" Teacher
Sand why, pray, d. you shink it
just dzaled out2" Bright boy
"oh, because | guess by that time
the woman go! so old that nobody
wanted her."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26
RnckIen's Arnicn Snlre.

The best salve in the world fot
Cuts, Bruises, Sores, Ulcers. Salt
Rheum, Fever Sores, letter, Chap.
ped Hands, Chilblains, Corns, aud
all Skin Erupiions, and positively
cures Piles, or no pay required. /,
isguarantced to give perfect salts
ttctiVn, or money refunded. Price
% cents per box. For sale BY Ell.
Mossmau. ljun2S.ly.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

When making morning call,
carry your hat with You to the par
Tor, and hold it in your hand till
you depart. The city is full Of
sneak thieves, and hat,racks are
their fayOri!o prey.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Henry Bergh is an old bachelor,
and if he is allowed TO drift through
lenp,year in the same doplOrable
condition he will probably cause
the arrest of every single woman
of his acquaintance for crulity to
an animal.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Sixty persons have just been di.
vorced in Chicago in one day.
There would be more divorces in
Chicago lift were not for the fact
that many bridegrooms make their
escape just before the wedding day
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

There cannot live a more unhap.
by creature than an ill.naturod old
man, who is neither capable Of re.
Ceiving pleasures, nor sensible Of
doing them to others.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

A Pennsylvania girl stopped in.
to a newspaper office to propose to
tho editor, and found him dexter
ously sewing up a hole in his coat.
Under the circumstances she con.
cludcd that he was not eligible.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

A Troy shoemaker claims that he
oan read my mans traits Of char.
aoter by the way he wears out his
boots. True genius always wears
Inc heels offlike a side hill.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Both dress and demeanor should
always be appropriate to the occa.
sion. Even a full suit of the deep.
est black will not excuse joking
with Tho sexton at a funeral.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

At DIM do not throw the bones
under the table This rule may
be relied on, for it was one Eliza.
beth had for the government Of her
court
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Mother may go out to pop?"-
Yes, my darling daughter; if you
sail this year you must shut up
shop, you've kept longer than you'd
ptter.n
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26
A 81. sIarys Editor tells absisi
st'lte Greatest Flood on 30.
cord. Ftghiy-FOnreiilI AIteHt.

4 fl. sIarys Editor Tells abehi
tllte Greatest Flood on Bee
cord, Eigltiy-Fo rsilll Altei,sl.
Fbe coolest lnbabitsnt' dies
lirl. Olrexchanges seems u be-
handing theirenefgies in attempt.
iig b excel each other IL Bxliiin.I
iug ftssil faid liars. The SAFE
jnHTlal uneartbs an antique who|
goes back n bundled years or so|
and finds a cDrn stalk lodged IN THE
fOrss 0fsome tree, claiming ii was
left there b. the Ohio river whcnit
was several feet higher than the
late food. Tic Marietta Regtster
soars back in,O antiquity and finds
and antediluyian worthy Of the
profession who says the Ohio river
wasn't ono time halfway up the.
Hglnar bill aud the young braves
padded their canoes among the
tree topsoffthe Ohio Valley, WOO.
ing their dasky tnaidens where the
Wild birds sang and tile fox dare
no! venture. The Parkersbnrg Sen.
tiArl, not to be outlone, stands 10
aod raises them several feet. His
iossil food recorder il in possession
Ofa tradition which pluCes tho va.
ters Of the Ohio river one inch deep
90 the top Of Fort BOreman Hill
What q pity Manitoba was not in.
vented then 50 she could have sent
one Of her Billiards to freeze tho
water solid Ito The bottom!
Admit allihese marvellous tradi.
lions Of aboriginal floods 10 be true,
YET they do not surpass the flood
ri 1884, nor do we have to 90 to
tradition for our proof, for we have
il IN living witnesses right before
Hs. The Ohio river rose so high
last February that it flooded fami
lies on the top Of ST. Maty's Hill,
which is considerably higher than
Fort Boroman. Not only this, but
u reached several miles out the I'll.
llnboro Pike. This is not the
worst fOatureof the late flood. The
Ohio river backed itself up Middle
Island creek into Doddridge coun.
ty,N distance Of 127 miles-not per
pendiculsr There is nodisputing
this fact, for = woman came to the
committee asking for food, clothing
andibedaing, saying her househould
effects were in DOddrigs county,
and she supposed, Of course, they
washed away in the flood, The
Committee had witnessed the flood
here and knew it was very high,
out it was taxing their credulity
too much 10 believe that the Ohio
had backed up into Doddrige coun.
~, so they hesttated; but the flood
sufferer was not in ahumor to wait,
s1Shc hied herself away to Parkers.
burg, and there succeeded in con.
"in9ins the committee at that
place that her story was u plausi.
Die one. At least she came back
With 4 goodly quantity Of supplies.
In view Of these facts We hereby
notify the anLiluated flood liars to
shut up, or produce something
more tangible in support of their
traditions than u curnslalk in u
tree bop, " q dusky maiden fitting
around the branches Of the prime.
val forest.-Oraclc.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

We heard Of u man the other day
who was said to be mean enough to
tteal a coat Of paint, But he can't
equal the party who tried to steal
u dogs pants.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Nothing so narrows tho play.
ground Of wit as when individual
opinions and love of truth stand
Lhclvln as liked, tolid pillars. =
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26
Armed and Equipped.

Arm ms with jealous care, are
words familiar to every eur, yet
how few there arc who fully realize
their full import, A mani to with
stand all the attacks Of his foes,
should be always armed and ready
for the battles If life. lie knows
not at what moment he may fail
into an ambush and be compelled
to stand for his lifeand sacred hon,
or. Just so it is in our daily lives.
The inyldious germs Of disease and
death are constantly about US, and
enter into our b5dics at every
breath. To guard against these
poisonous agents, a medicine i
ncededwhich willfulfiltbe require
ment Of being both d safeguard aud
II remedy. This is found in PERI
NA, and thousands testify as to its
merits in this regard. The man
who carries n bottle Of it is fully
armed and equipped for the duties
Of life. Ask your druggistsfor the
Ills Of Life gratis, or address DR.
S. D. Hartman & Co., Columbus, o
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

The only thing that equals the
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES with which this
country proposes a monument is
Tho unanimous cordiality with
@hich il isn't built.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Healthy, good.looking girls as
servants always Command the
highest wages-the kind husband
Of the house generally tollshis wife
"Lhc girl is worth gOodpaS.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

"NYhpt is the colored mans pos
jtion2' Well if he is backing
your boots he is generally in the
petition ola half.open iack.knife.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

ARE YOU MISERABLE through Ind
sestion, Sour Stomach, or Constipation?
AGker's Dyspepsia Tablets we guarantee
will relieve YOU. VanGilder's.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

a Gallipolis mother has miracu.
lousy cured her youngest hopeful
of smoking by the laying GU of
hands.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Neyercal1 upon a lady simply
because she asks you to ''come
again" Wait Cor a more urgent
Lint. "Conlo again7 isa mere sup
eiiluous cOnyeutimality, like the
word obey in the marriage ser,
vice.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Sailing DER the sea Of literature
on the craft of penmansbip alone
will result in dire disaster unless
Genius sits at the helm.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

The man who wrote,"T here are
certain fears which often deceiyes
rs" probably had just recovered
from Tho iim.iams."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26
4. r. MoDlNiEL'S
SINGhN- TRBD,
I'ateAtel June Il, 1Ssg.

Patented June ", lSS3.
My invention consists Of 4 Sinsle!Trcs
for single or double vehicles, provided
with swinging or opening truce hooks
whereby the traces tldy Sc detached
'front.' tho Slnglo-'rree in an instant, night
or day, rs itisGMiG.guard againstbrCak!
aye Of the vehicle and injury tn lis occu.
pants inrASe the horse 81 horses become
unmanagtahle. This invention also'
consists ofa spring attachment for tho
hollbncks Of the TliillS, whereby coms
plete detachment may DO effected. Tic
monuments Of beauty aud art which
have been reared by minis creative No.
MUS may Crumble and turn Ia dust, hut
your risk is dangerousahh many lives
may he saved by its use. You may
have escaped tlius fur, but many have
hcp killed and injured By runaway
hnrScs or exposed to suffering from tho
clFcGtsoi u kicking horse. Ladies', zen.
tlrnen and cu0Chmen express their
great safety by having this Invention.
/ asktlie attention Of our mahuinc.
turcrs, especially mechanics. This IN.
yertion Is now placed before the public
for sale by Shop, County or State rights.
j. 7, MCDANIEL, Inventor.
l.ctart, West Va.
Da" Manufactured by GIsr & lloLLtSs,
l'etaFt, West Va Cct.2lSni
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Earthquakes are not much con-
sidered in South America, where
they are as common US other fami.
Is jars.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

"This is my coat Of aims" said a
tramp, tapping thoragscd garment
the deacon Of u church had just
piyen him.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

ARutlaud grocer recently rolled
a berfelof sugar tie Whole length
Of his store font 10 get into The
cellar The bune fell out and The
sidewalk was y nicely
sanded tbslseyeralc ustomef'sslep;
ped into The mans store just 10
thank himfor sstting 10 good al
example toother property holders.
---as, s-s.----
AT an evening party carefully
uo!ethe locRlion and size Of the
house and The probable value Of the
furniture and brio a hrac. Ifthere
are evidences Of wealth and refine.
risnt on every side, devote your
attention to your hosts unmarried
daughters.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Evil habits are webs which are
too light 10 be noticed until they
are TOO strong to he broken.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

A presentation 10 a lady at a
ball does not authorize you to claim
her acquaintance afierward unless
she FIRST Showa some desire to re
renew the intercourse, Such pre-
sensations are like summer resort
engagements, mere formalities.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

AoKERS BLOOD ELINIR gnaran.
teedi vii cure all kinds OF blood poison.
ing inherited or contracted. NanGildrr.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

In every well regulated fish mar.
kct tho scales have the right Of
weight.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

New York cats wear silver coll.
ars with Tiny bells. This makes
Qnite an addition to the concerts.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

.Tha truly grateful heart may
not be able to tell Of gratitude, but
it can feel, and love, and act.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

The rankest man in the country
il the ohi5n consumer
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

GUARANTEED TO ccREa Cold or
Conghi Acker's Celebrated English Rem.
edy, Sold by NanGillcr.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

Anupright sigu-" Standing room
only
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

The downward patll-tho one
WITH u piece of orange peel on it.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26
laugS-ly,.
tonasuedJ tOmIaavesEI
How Watch Cases are MADE.

In buying q silver watch case great care
should be taken to secure one that is solid
lyerthroughout The cap ofmOst cheap
silver cases is made of composition known
as albata, which is a very poor substitute
for silver, as it turns black in short time,
The backs Of such cases are made much
thinner than those of an all silver case,
being robbed in order to make the cap
thicker and set in as much as possible Of
the cheap metal. Anotherimportant point
inasilvercase is the joints orhiuges, which
should be made of gold. Those Of most
cheap cases are made of silver, which is
not a suitable metal for that purpose. In
a brief period 1t warpE, bends and spreads
apart, allowing the backs to become loose
upon the case and admitting the dust and
dirt that accumulate in the pocket. Tho
Keystone silverWatch Cases are onlymade
with silver caps and gold joints.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-03-26

We should do by our cunning as
we do by our courage-we should
always have ii ready to defend our.
selves never to offend others.
, 1884-01-29
San pomlnuo Wants a Treaty.

Washington, January 27.-It is re-
ported upon authority that the republic
u San Domingo is about to ask for a
4 mmercial reciprocity treaty with the
Y hited States. 1t is understood that
W Proposition will embodY the prin-
epples that r in the pending Mexican
tfeaty, and that are now in force with
the Hawaiian Islands. There will be
clause for the benefit of American
enipplng to the effect that those ar
}lcles of commerce which may be ad-
niIted free of duty into the respective
countries shall be carried in American
pullt or San Domingo built ships.
The friends of American shipping
ffsue that this should be the funda.
4lental principle of all future CONNER.
fiai treaties between the United State.
fnd the Islands of this hemisphere, in
spfuer to assimilate their commerce will
zlaeir coastwise trade. They urge tina
stne sandwich Islands treaty should b'
Y amended as to favor our shipping by
making all imports free duty into tn,
united States. subject to the provision
77ensg they be transported in American
quilt yessela
, 1884-01-29

been properly observed by the mineri
the terrible accident would never have
occurred. All spoke in the highest
terms of the management, their ex'
treme caution and care for the safety Of
the miners.
The inquest will be resumed this
evening.
The funeral of John Rutherford,
Jacob Laux, Dan Mcdonald and L. w.
Smith occurred this afternoon. The
ceremonies were conducted by the Ma.
sonic and Odd Fellows societies. A
huge morgue is nearly completed, and
the bodies are being taken there in
sleighs from the blacksmith shop and
placed In rows on the floor of the
morgue.
The following have been claimed by
relatives, to whom they will be shipped
tomorrow at the expense of the COM
pany: Richard James, W~atsonburg,
Col; James Driscoll, Plymouth, Pa;
Bryon and L. P. Hebron, SchuylkIll
county, Pa. John Creelman, Pittsburg;
Thomas Clancy, Scranton, Pa; G. b.
Nicholson. Rapid City, H.; William
Maroney, Schuylkill county, Pa; Da-
vid and John Thomas, Canon City,
Col; William Aubrey, Akron, Ohio;
Benjamin Jeffries, Youngstown, Ohio;
Miles Roach, Schuylkill county, Pa. (:
Henry and Thomas Stewart, father and
son, Irwin, Col. Patrick Barrett, Plym-
outb. Pa.
Sixteen bodies are claimed by rela-
tives at Crested Buttes, and the re-
naming twenty-five remain unclaimed.
The funeral services of those to be bur-
led at Crested Buttes will be held to-
morrow, the Protestants in the fore
and the Catholics in the after
noon.
The rumors of trouble have entirely
died out, and tonight the town is en-
tirely quiet.
A special train will be run from
Gunnison tomorrow, conveying a
band, church choirs and a number of
citizens to take part in the funeral GER
emonieq
, 1884-01-29

debts shall escheat to the United States,
and shall be invested by the secretary
Of the interior for the benefit of the
common schools of Utah.
Section II provides for the abolish.
ment of the existing election districts
and appointments Of representation
concerning members Of the legislative
assembly of the territory of Utah, and
it shall be the duty of the governor,
territorial secretary and the United
States judges of said territory to redis-
trict the territory and apportion repre-
sention 80 as to C an equal repre-
sentation Of citizens of the United
States according to numbers in said
legislative assembly, such establishment
Of districts and representation to con-
tinue until congress otherwise pro
vides.
Section Is provides that all registra-
tion and election offices of every de-
scription in Utah shall, upon the en-
actment of the bill into a law, be de-
clared vacant; that all duties relating
To the registration of voters conduct of
elections. receiving or rejection of
votes, ~canyassinp and returning the
same, and issuing certificates or other
evidence of election in said territory,
shall for the present be performed
under existing laws of the territory and
of the United States. by persons who
shall be selected to perform that duty
by a board specially provided for by
this bill. 1t provides that this board
shall consist of five persons to be ap-
pointed by the president. with the adj
vice and consent of the senate. not
mora than three of than tn be memhers
, 1884-01-29
The Chinese Bill.

Washington. January 28.-The sub
committee Of the house committee on
foreign affairs has been considering the
Chinese immigration bill prepared by
the Pacific coast delegation. 1t con-
cluded its work and expects to make a
report to the full committee tomorrow.
Lamb and Eaton will submit the ma
jority report, recommending that the
bill prepared by the delegation and in
troduced by Henley be reported TO the
house. Representative Rice will make
a minority adverse report.
The grounds of opposition are that it
proposes to add a number of vexatious
and troublesome amendments to a law
already sufficiently obnoxious, and that
there is no necessity for additional leg
islation On the subject at this time. He
objects to the proposed bill because,
under its provisions, Chinese subjects
of other governments than China will
be shut out of this country, and this
action might involve the United States
in intanglements with other powers.
He thinks the provision which pro-
poses to make the master of a vessel
who might violate the law through ig-
~norance, subject to severe penalty, alto
gether too harsh, and expresses the
opinion that congress has other and
more important work to attend to than
enacting laws for emergencies not yet
arisen.
After the adjournment of the senate
the democratic senators went into a
caucus to decide on the policy to be
pursued in reference to the Sherman
resolutions.
, 1884-01-29
New York Rudnet.

New York, January 2S.-Dick Hol-
lywood says that Sullivan, on his re-
turn from San Francisco, will have a
call in the shape of a challenge from
Joe Pendergast to fight any man in the
world for a stake of from 1900 to So
500 a side.
The safe in the jewelry house of Z.
B. Hayden, 205 Fulton street, Brook
Ign, was broken into last night and
5000 worth of jewelIy taken. The
burglars are supposed to belong TO the
gang that secured iewelry valued at
S25, 600 in a raid upon a Maiden Lane
establishment a week ago.
William Hatton, aged 81, died to-day
from ~self-inhicted wounds.
DR.. John b. Wood, a widely known
newspaper man, while walking through
West street early this morning, fell
and died soon after from a shock and
exposure. DIR. Wood was president OF
the press club for several years. His
skill in eliminating su]psrfiuous words
and sentences from his reports earned
for him the title OF the Great Ameri.
can Condenser.