Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-09-12
WANTED 4 WIFE.


Mornlng Advertiser a glowing matrimonial
advertisement, in which | stated that the adj
vertiser, who was handsome, rich, and all
that sort of thing, desired to meet with a
pretty and accomplished girl with a view to
matrimony. All applicants were to send
tEeir photographs; the replies to be sent to H.
C., No. 15l ST. Giles, Oxford-that's the house
where my scout lives, and so, of course, told
him to bring me any letters thus addressed. l
got no reply for q day or So, but four days
ago received u letter from a certain damsel,
who described herself as young, handsome
and accom- llshed, inclosed me the photo
graph of very pretty girl, ended by asking
Inc when and where / should meet her in
town, and signed herself Miss L. Bernard,
Piccadily Circus Postofiice; she also expressed
a desire to have the advertisers photograph,
so promptly sent her that of old Crofton,
which he had lately given me, and said
would write tonight when and where |
should meet her; SO my scheme is, to some
how induce Crofton to meet this girl; she will
Of course recognize him by the photograph
have sent, and will probably rush into his
arms. the Kangaroo will he utterly over
powered, and there will be an interesting
denouement. Now, Hornby, don't you think
that magnificent piece of strategyl'
NO, indeed DON'T" said Hornby, II think
it an internal shame; and, what's more,
have half mind to go and tell tine kangaroo
Of the hoax"
"Oh, come now, said Methven, "you'd never
do that, Jack, know. Well! can't stay
any longer, SO goodbye for the present"
There is not the slightest doubt, that il the
fates had not interviewed, Hornby would have
gone straight to Crofton and warned him of
the impending hoax, and this story would
never have been written; but, as it happened,
no sooner had Methven gone out of Hornby's
rooms, than in rushed tie secretary Of the
College Cricket club in a state of breathless
anxiety; there was match at II 80, and it
was now ii o'clock and he could only get to-
gether eight men. So Hornby was promptly
enlisted, and by the time the match was over
Methven and his scheme had entirely faded
from his not too retentive memory. Methven,
IN the meantime, had gone straight to Crof.
tons rooms. Now, this Crofton, who was
about to fall victim to Methven's wiles,
was the son of a large Australian sheep
farmer, and had come up to Brazenface the
previous October. Like most colonists who
have not been to school in England, he was
very simple and unsophisticated; and though
the kangaroo, as he was generally called,
was constantly being made the victim
OF small practical jokes, most Of which
we're originated by Methven, who was the
professional hoaxer Of Brazenface, he al
ways forgave them heartily, and Joined in
the laugh himself. However, his one years
residence in college had opened his eyes lit.
tie, and being naturally anything but fool,
his friends found it not quite SO easy to take
him in now, as it used to be, and several at
tempts having lately failei, Methven, to sus.
tain his dwindl ing reputation as joker, had
concocted the plan he had just disclosed to
Hornby. he found the genial giant busily
packing his traps ready for going down the
next day. After chatt ing q moment or two
the tempter began:
"As you're going to town tomorrow. I
want you to do me little favor. Ipromised
to meet girl, a cousin of mine, tomorrow.
We had each got an order for the
house of commons, and l was to have es-
corted her, and as we meant to have a little
lunch together at Lucas before we went in,
we had arranged to meet at a quarter-past 2
at the Westminster bridge landing pier, that
being place where We couldn't possibly miss
one another. Now, as bad luck will have it,
the dean has sent for me to see him after col
lections, SO that can't get up to town in
time. Unfortunately, l can't let the girl
know. because she's away on a visit for day
or two to some friends whose address / have
forgotten, and she won't return home till
after she's been to the house. Now, l don't
want the poor child to wait an hour for me,
so would you mind going there about quar-
ter past and telling her l can't come, be-
cause Of that beastly dcanl And 30 that YOU
can't mistake her, I've brought you her pho
tograph. BY ths by, her names Miss
Bernard. Now, will this be too much trouble
Tor youi"
"Oh, not Bit" said Crofton, II shall be
telighted."
pier, at a quarter past 2! And now, goodbye,
and pleasant long to you"
Methven, highly elated with the result of
his scheme, Immediately wrote a note to
Miss L. Bernard that H. c. would meet her
at the Westminster bridge pier. at quar-
ter past punctually, and that she must
come up and speak to him if she saw him
first
The next morning Crofton, having under
gone that dread ordeal called COLLECTIONS"
having been bullied alternately by the
principal, the dean and the senior tutor,
hurried off to the station and just managed
to catch the midday express up to town.
On his arrival. leaving his traps at hotel,
he rushed off to Westminster bridge landing
pier and arrived there within a minute
or two Of the appointed time. There was
but few people on it when he arrived, and
certainly no one resembling in the slightest
degree the photograph Of Mr.. Methven's
cousin. He looked up and down, but no
there was only one young lady there, and
she wasn't in the least like the photograph.
She was standing close to tine ticket office,
holding the hand Of a little boy of 10 or So
and she seemed to watch Crofton with an
amused smile as he impatiently walked up
and down, looking now at his watch and now
at the parliament clock tower. The little
boy, in the meantime, getting tired of wait
ing, had slipped away under the protecting
chains round the side and began playing with
little dog that was vaguely running about.
The young lady did not miss him, and when
Crofton happened to turn he saw the child,
in trying to avoid a sudden bound of the
dog, scramble and fall over the pier into the
river. The child yelled, the girl shriekei and
the dog barked for sympathy. but Crofton,
who fortunately had plenty of presence of
mind, and was good, strong swimmer, dived
quietly into the water, caught up the child in
a couple Of strokes, and in a very short time
had restored his dripping burden to the young
lady. She was of course most grateful to
aim for having saved the life of her little
brother flor SO the child turned cut to te,)
aud, as Crofton put them in cab she asked
him to cal on them at home and give her pa
rents An opportunity Of personally thanking
him. Crotton at first pooh-poohed the idea
Of being thus made hero of, but there was
pleading look in her pretty eyes which
quite Overcame his scruples; and having as
certained that her father was Nj. West,
and lived at 1}8 Cavendlsh square, he prom
ised to call there the following afternoon.
And, as there was still no sign of Miss Ber-
nard, and as he was dripping wet, he hailed
passing cab and returned to his hotel
The next day, according to his promise, he
called at 1856 Cavendish square, and was re-
ceved most kindly by Miss West. his &C.
qraintance Of yesterday, and her mother, an
oil lady, who thanked him most volubly
for having saved dear Bertie's life, who, she
added, was none the wor,s for the ducking.