The Red Cloud chief., 1884-08-22
OUR RESIDENTIAL MERRYMA

Their hcz bin sum troublc. RI Their Is
anything on earth witch shood be- cleer
and well-de';ned- Sc cleer that he who
runs may read-it is the platform "
principles NV a CRATE party. II shood
be so cleer that the humblcst intelle k
shood know eggsackly wat is meant by
it and wal them wich stand on it pro-
pose 10 40 abou. il.
TO the end NV hevin n plane and
cleer interpretashen NV this tart II
plank it okkurrcd To me. when | wuz
over To Se~ceshunville. To 90 to the
highest authoritF on the sub ick, witch
Is Mr.. Barnum, the Chairman NV the
NaShncl Dimekratic Commit:y. IF
anybody on earth oJght To know wat
the platform means it is Barnum. isn't
it?"
The meetin all yelled: Yes when
Josef went on.
Il may ez well menshun that | as
soomcd the name NV our esteemed friend
lssakcr Gavi't and 'elegraphed thus:
t. William II. Barnum. C~hccrnan uy the
Nhshnei Diinocratic Committee: Does IN
DimcSra;ic platform mccn perteckshun or
free trader
"'Iss,HER GAvIrT. ManyCofaktrer.'
The anser / reserved wuz entirely
sat.sfaktry. 1t red thus:
ITO Issaser Gaviti. M~anyoofactrer: The
tarin plank in the DiInekratc platform mccns
iarir reform. with "A tendency to the Pertccx-
shIin uy Amerikin labor by impusin heavy
doot e. on the ma~uvoofakters NV the bloa;ci
Brit"n. Bare down heavy on the Perteckshun
tendency among Your operatives.
". II. BsRNUx. Checrman.
lSsaker, witch heZ a small interest in
4 rollin mill. rz to his feet and yelled:
Il knowd it! knowd il. Nv course
we want tariff reform. but the platform
is all in the dire 1shun NV PEI, eckshun.
Hoorav,'
Il shood also state" continued Josef.
"that when | returned to the Corners I
telegraphed wunst more 10 Mr.. Barnum
TO be shoor 1 he'd not misunderstood
him, only | yoosed the name NV our
ekally esteemed friend Deekin Pogram.
This wuz my second dispatch:
- Is the eg-sact Deenin ~ the tarir
plank In the DimOkratic PLATFORM ! AK n.
farInin >eSshun. DEEsI> SETH P~ogRAN."
1.-The anser cum back very promptly:
I'D bcskil 18th P5gydm: The tariff plank
in the Dmokra'ie platform Is cntir ID ex-
plicit II meens tariff reform with an uucon-
prornisin ieenin toward Free Trade and the
IslE - tut EFOB~ III EuEltltI " ft-tStfEf-
where er yOo kin bus EN- thc cheeres-- Ia g
down heavy on the FREE Trade rsu3enCs
among your oppresst agrictltoorai frients
W H. BAgSrs Cbeernzn-
II knowd tt knowd it, shrceked
the good old Deekin. "Hcoray, we
have a platform wich meens free trade
Some trouble ensood. Isssker svore
that the dispatch sent to the Deekin
wuz boyus. and the Deexin swore tha,
the Dispatch sent to Issaker wuz bogus.
for both he'd the platform red 10 en- and
they both he'd constrood IT,
lssaser denounced the Deekin ez n
ass: for. set he, .'does not Randall
Nv reunsilvany accept the platform.
and i ut he a Perteckshunist2"
Ass yerself, retorted the Deekiu.
DOES not Wa,ierson. and Carlisle, and
Morrison. and Hurd all accep; ia, and
amt they rao:d Free-TradersT'
And then, eZ these two Dimocrats
THROWN mud at each other. the
broke up in a row. and Joe Big
Ter rolled or latin, remarkin that be
sorry for the disturbance, but he
wantid the platform cleerly defined.
and he didn't know how else to git \
cleer enunshiashen Nv wat il ment than
by t~elegraffin the Chairman NV the DIM
oera lie Nashnel Committy. He shood
perceed TO TELEGRAPH more Nv
EN- so9n. and wood hev ansers By the
time the Dimocrisy NV the Corners
wanted 70 ratlfy agin.
Ell the good Lord in his infinite mercy
wood only take Joe Bigler to his bum,
l Good 81. along with the Dimocrisy.
here. He never appeen upon the suriis
without maxim trouble.