Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-01-01
BRIGHT BITS.
rs woman browbeaten when her hair is
banged s-BoSton Bulletin.

rs woman browbeaten when her hair Is
banged2-Boston Bulletin.
NEWPORT is descending to a common vulgar
plane. One of the swell ladies resident there
gave birth to twins last week.
THEY are vaccinating the Indians Of Alas
ka. If vaccination viii prevent the Indians
breaking out, let the doctors tackle the
Apaches.-Peck's Sun.
A WESTERN WOMAN prayed for money and
found it. as though this was a miracle. We
know of several Eastern men who have preyed
for money and found 1t.
THIS is the best country in the world for
poor man. Except when he Is married ne mas
a right here to do what he pleases with what
he makes.-HOteb Mail.
ATUCKAHoE girl asserts that she gets about
as much satisfaction from kissing through
telephone as she does from taking soup with
a fork Yonkers Statesndn.
ssBRACE UPr' whispered the hangman to the
poot fellow whose hempen cravat he was adj
justlng. ''Yes, it's easy for you to say that,
was the grim reply, because you're sus-
pender."
MAKER of musical instruments, cheerfully
rubbing his hands-'Ihere, thank goodness,
the bass fiddle is finished at last9' After
pause-"Ach Himmel, if haven't gone and
left the glue pot inside"
VISITOR in st Louis looking out upon the
river, remarked that it was a fine-iooking
stream of good, rich looking water, and that
Z.
pick his teeth after drinking.
ELLA WHEELER, in a recent poem, says: 81
love with a love that burns to hate" You
won't do for us, Ella. We want to be loved
with love that will keep nice and quiet at
home when we are too busy to attend to it.
THINK it all wrong for an employee to call
down curses on his employer? Maybe! But
after printer has gone about crazy decipher-
ing couple of the editors words and strikes
one that may be partnership or polecat. he
can't help saying something.
PROMINENT legal minds of Michigan express
the fear that if capital punishment IS restored
jurles will hesitate to convict murderers. II
they hestated any longer than they do now
the judges would want board and lodging in
the building.-DetroH Free Press.
A wRITER-probably of the sealskin sack
gender and unmarried-asks: "Did you ever
watch a dear little baby waking in the morn
ing?' We never did. The dear little angel
always woke so cOnfOunded early that we
were not ready to open our eyes.-N0rriSt0acn
HerdId.
THE q o'clock scheme is going to be per-
feet bonanza for the man who comes home
before daylight and tries to unlock the front
door with dOughnut. His wife won't be
able to tell whether it is tomorrow or the
day before yesterday .-Burlingt0n Free Press.
''LooK HERE" said aroadmaster to an Irish-v
man, ''why don't you put on clean shirt"
Because wear honor OF haven't wan in me
chest?" "Because OF haven't chist. Git me
the chIst. yer honor, an Orll hunt around fur
a clean shirt to put in it,"
A FITCHBURG lady, who was somewhat
given to needless alarms concerning her
health, and upon any slightest ailment felt
herself slipping into another world, took cold
last week, and Immediately concluded that
at length her appointed hour had surely ar
rived. "Georgy," she said, taking her 4year-
old son upon her lap, ''I'm going to die, Geor
gy, and you'll have a new mother some time"
"Oh, well," philosophically returned the
youngster, who inherits from his father dis
position quite the reverse of sentimental, and
mothers moods. sob. well; if there's moth
ing worse than that, l s'p'ose l can put up
with that