National Republican., 1884-09-13

Is it all DER with Hanlan ?-Truih.
What holds all tho snuff in the world {?
No ono nose
At what time of day was Adam born (?
A little before Eve.
Campaign orators have great wind.h flew
hence among the voters. -7erlS Sitiags.
How did Adam and Eve got out of the
garden of Eden2 They were snaked out.
A non est man is the noblost work OF
Connecticut detectives. - Val street NeUs.
,Ienks, who has been ruined by his
wife. says he still loves his Swamp
angel"
If at first you don't succeed, try again.
If one tailor won't trust you, try another.
san Frdasiscdn.
Why is q lady at ball like an arrow ?
Because she can't go of without a beau
and is in a quiver till she gcts one.
"Na, why is that darkey equivalent to
q conundrum?" Pm sure | don't know,
my SON." Because he's a-nig -ROnk-
erS Gd.ette.
A quarter of beef was stolen from David
Davis the other day. That is what gave
rise to the rumor that he is losing flesh.-
ST. Paul Herald.
A telegraph messenger boy in Chicago
has been sent to an insane asylum. Sew
eral times when on an errand he has been
seen to run.-Me Dial.
An ex-editor is now a barber at Sagi-
nav, Mich. He wields the scissors as
fluently as ever but he does more head
work now.--Norristo,gn Herald.
o.
said the ancient lrishman to the boys who
had been chatting him. "Bedad, Ord as
soon walk afoot as ride afoot p'--Thc Wasp.
"Young Horsewoman" wants to know
how to make "a riding habit. Ride every
day, dear, and keep it up until you get SO
that you can sit down to meals.-Burling-
ton Free Press.
John G. Emo is said to occupy most Of
his time playing base ball on the Dutferin
terrace, Quebec. But he don't make any,
runs to equal the one from New York to
Canada.-BoSton Star.
"Your manner is worry shocking" said
the lady to the trap.
"Ah," replied the tramp, "you noticed
it, did your That's my personal mag
netism."-Burlington HaCkeye.
How foolish most Of the proverbs are
For instance, 1t is said that straw shows
which way the wind blows, when every
body knows IL is the wind which shows
which way the straw blows.-Bostoa
Transcript.
"You promised to have my new trousers
done week ago" said the exquisite youth
to his tailor. "Yes, know it," was tho
reply; "but until you pay your old bill
they will still remain breeches of pro-
mise. e."-The 4uburnidn.
"Do you have good drinking water
here" asked q traveller in a kentucky
town.
Good what2"
Good drinking water"
"Oh, yes. Hy'ar Neb, take the stran-
gers horse and water him."-BoSton Post.
80 you think John is becoming great
man in the city 2" said farmer, speak,
ing of his absent son to companion of
the youth. "Great man! should say so;
why, there amt barkeeper in the city
hardly that he don't call by his first
me."-SomerpiNe Journal.
Little Maud-well, / don't care if your
ma is pretty. She amt so rich as mine.
Little Mollie-Yes, she is, too. When
she goes to O party she has French maid
couio w uo up hoE huir, bO thorc, uoW.
Little Maud-Pooh that's nothing.
My ma sends hers to the hairdresser's.
Philadelphia Call. -.,- ..,-..-
"Molly. wish you would be better
GIRL" said an Austrian father to his little
daughter. "You have no idea, how sorry
l am that mamma has to scold you all the
time" Don't worry about it, pa" was
the reply of the little angel, II am not
one of those sensitive children. Half tho
time don't hear what she says"-Sift-
mas