Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1884-07-12
ON SHIPBOARD.
A standard Set OF Characters ON Transada..
tic Steamers.
New Y, ri Matt
New Y,rt Mali


| YOU meet on every transatlantic steamer.
There Il always the wealthy family Of
| real or pretended knickerbockers.v who
hold themselves slooi from the other pas
,engcrs and have everything little better
than anybody else. They sit next 10 the
captain attsble. they have his state-room for
| ioungipg-place, they are allowed to stand
| on the bridge. 10 walk on the hurricane
deck, 10 finger the compass, aud 10 assis.
in making the daily observations on the
| sm.. They receive more attention than
| onybody else from the stewards, their
chairs are placed in the best positions on
the deck. and their Ssratoga trunks are al
Il wed TO stand In the gangways. Yon find
that their magnificent state.room was OBJ
,ained only few days before sailing, while
| your own very Inferior ore was only Sc
cnrcd with great difficulty by applying
three months earlier. They rise very late,
and are served with good breakfast in the
saloon after the regular hours. and when
The kitchen ia inexorably closed 10 every
body else. The other passengers regard
| them with envy, and are delighted to see
them laid low by sea-slckness.
There is the old man. who retains oil his
Youthful love OF tr vel and OF feminine So
cjety. He cIrcuIa,es about from one lady
TO another, tuckiDg them IN In their rugs.
moving their chairs from place 10 place,
esoorting them in their spasmodic little
| promenades, informing them whenever
| there II q sail or a pOrpoise IN sight. and
| telling them a thousand little common
| places about sleep, appetite, digestion. the
| weather, the speed Of the ship, etc. He is
| full OF "reminiscences OF the 81 old Side-Yheel-
| err" or OF such and such IN "old Gu
narder.r or Of voyage which he made
| with old Captain So-and-So-"s regular
| old sea-dog." The A. family he remem-
bers seeing summer before last at Ems; the
| H. family he il accustomed to meet at
| Carlsbad; the celebrated Mrs. G.. he saw
"cuttIng 4 great splurge last winter at
Monaco" lie takes bis breakfast in his
| berth. takes a long nap after lunch. and
feels better "on shipbOard" than he does
| on shore He il great fellow for slipping
! or to the saloon Just before dinner TO
make a potato salad for himself and his
| friends.
There is the lonely woman whom none Of
| the other female passengers can "qulte
make out.v she has very blonde hair. lux
urious fur wraps, a maid, and lap-dog.
| She comes on deck very late, is careful to
| avoid the sun and the wind. never appears
| above stairs IN unpleasant weather, and
| takes more Of her meals IN the saloon. The
| rest OF Ter sex on board pretend 10 take no
| notice OF her, but in reality they spend
| good part OF every day in talking sbOct
| her, and they sometimes venture 10 say
| among Themselves that they "would just
! give good deal 10 know who that woman
| really Is" She has considerable attention
from some OF the young men who are also
| travelling without protection, and she takes
| good many walks alter dark with the
purser. Her maid has been overheard tell
| ing the stewardess that she Is going TO Paris.
| There is the commercial traveller, or bag
| man. who is the nOisest man on the ship.
| He smokes bad cigars and drinks cocktails
| from morning e. night, and has dreadful
| flow OF spirits. He leads the conversation
and the gambling IN the smoking-roOm
| (where he spends the greater part OF his
| time). tells great yarns about his travels,
| aud pretends TO know more than anybody
else about the steamer. The log shows
fourteen knots an hour, but he says, with
a knowing WAX. that "she Is really max
| ing sixteen" and hints ut some mysterious
| connection between this and the fact thai
lhe captain failed TO get Il good "ObSerya-
| ton" day before yesterday In the NOM
| ing he tells you that he lay awake for two
| or three hours during the night. and that
| be noticed that the ship was only going ut
| thrce-GuarterS speed, and then he reveals
| some discovery which he has made regard
| ing the coal she il burning or the oil which
| lubrIcatPs her engines. As soon aS you
are ont Of sight Of land he begins to state
| positively the day and hour wh'n you will
| arrive on the other side, aud when he him
| self will reach certain hotel in London
or Paris, which is. Of course, "the
boss hotel Of Europe" though not
TO be compared with one he knows
| Of in Springfield, or DeadwoOd, or
| Chicago. He wears the same black
| silk cap that he wears on the sleeping-clrs,
| never brings any wraps, aud occupies
other peoples chairs. The amount OF lug
| gage needed for a voyage he has reduced
| to the vanishing point. and be boasts that
he travels over all the world with nothing
| but hand-satchel. He il steadiast at his
| post in all weather, and eats five great
| meals day with wonderful gustO. He
| tells the other people at table that sits \
| cold day when he gets left, and don't you
| forget it." He violates all moral and by
| gienic laws, but is never i'll. He is the list
| man to " turn in" at night. on the last
| cay OF the voyage he arrays himself in such
| gorgeous apparel that nobody knows him,
| and lust before going ashore he proposes
| three cheers for She captain.
There il the young man who is hail-fe-
| low-well-met with everybody. He enjoys
visit with the rOughS in the smoking.
| room, and at the same time Is careful to
| maintain his standing with the ari>tocracy
| Of the ship. lie wears many different suits
| 81 clothes. has fur collar on his ovcrc0at,
| ard is a great favOrite with the girls. lie
gets up pools" on the run OF the ship,
and sOlicits bets rs to whether the pilot.
| when he comes aboard, will put his right
or left foot first on deck. The night before
sighting land he organizes a concert in the
saloon and surprises everybody by the
amount Of talent which he has discovered
amor the ships company. He is very
useful passenger.
There is the young man who comes
aboard equipped as II he were going to
play game Of laWn-tennis. He immsdi-
ately begins 20 tell how many times he has
" crossed" and TO talk in large and IA
miliar way about the ms and outs OF ocean
travel. He soon goes below and is not
seen again.
There is the quiet man who listens to all
that Is going on, but says little himself.
Nothing disturbs him, and ne outrides the
heaviest storms. lie lets the young fellows
boast and swagger on all sides Of him,
when. if you did but know it, he has
travelled many times around the world,
has been often shipwrecked, and has had
more wonderful adventures than anybody
on the ship.
There is always the vulgar woman who
dresses up on Sunday, the man who comes
on deck in embroidered slippers, and the
chap who has the temerity to appear in a
straw hat
Then there are the people whose only
striking chaIacter5tIc is that they are so
Extensively well. When the sea becomes
very rough they exclaim, "Isn't this
jolly?" or, "NOw, this il more like it,"
in tones loud enough for the seasick ones |
TO hear, knowing that every word is Ike
the thrust OF knife through their yitals.
When the steamer nears port they take
pains to say that they "are 50 sorry chat |
the voyage is coming to a close. and they
would like Just about another fortnight |
more OF It," You feel that you would like
ID kick them, but somtimes they are women
and il would not be polite.
A PROFITABLE INDUSTRY.