davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26
THREE WOMEN.

Three women went sailing out into the street
To the brown stone front where the red flag
hung;
They jostled the crowd all day on their feet,
While "going and going and gone" was sung.
For women must 60 where bargains are had,
And buy old trash, if never so bad,
And husbands must ever be groaning.
Three husbands, all hungry, went home to dine,
But when they arrived there was nothing to
eat;
Three women, all crazy, and feeling so fine,
Were gabbling of bargains along on the street /;
For women must talk of bargains they buy,
And homes must suffer and babes must cry.
And husbands must ever be groaning.
Three women were showing their husbands, with
gee,
Their bargains at prices that never were beat,
Three husbands, all starving and mad as could be,
Were tossing the bargains out into the street;
For men don't know when bargains are cheap,
And women, poor creatures, do nothing but weep.
And husbands must ever be groaning.
H. C. Dodge, in Puck.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26
Pleasant Homes.

A little time and labor will make the
grounds about the house look tidy,
neat and inviting. There is no use in
having the yards all covered with sticks
chips and last years burdock stocks, to
stick their hateful burs into clothes and
stockings. Use the garden rake and
wheelbarrow. If there are dry leaves
drifting around, so much the better,
they will make a good absorbent for
the manure shed or piggery. No mat
ter if the house is old, or brown, or
moss grown with age, if it is cleaned
up neatly, it will look as if | were COM
Portable and give favorable impression
of the inhabitants, and few flower
roots set out and trimmed up nicely,
will make the homeliest place look
pleasant. A few vines, running up the
sides of the house so as to shade the
windows and doors are as much OF an
ornament to an old house, as they are
to fine mansion. A pretty porch can
be made over the door, by setting long
poles each side of the steps and passing
strings over the top backward. If you
cannot gethopvines, plant beans, morn
ing glories, or sweet peas; and train
them to run up, and you will have
something that will give pleasure all
along summer days. Boys will enjoy
helping if you only show them how to
do it, and it will be lifelong pleasure
to them to know how to make things
look pretty.
Do not think it will take too much
time. Children can be taught early in
life to make themselves useful, and
there is no child but that likes to see
a pleasant home, and if they know how
to do it, will take hold and help make
it pleasant.
We, all of us, form an idea of per-
sons character when we pass his dwell.
ling. If we see the yards all in a litter,
and pigs, calves and chickens hopping
over logs and chips, we are immedia-
tely impressed with the belief that shift
less people live there. A row of SUM-
flowers, or clump of hollyhocks are
an improvement to any place, and look
far better than rank pig weeds, or may
weed, growing everywhere. There is
no excuse for the surroundings of a
farm house to be filthy and cluttered
up with everything; only just sheer
laziness, and n't-careativeneSs. L
guess that is a new word, but IS as ex-
pressive one as l know.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26
The Slim Mans Shot.

Pecks Sun.
''I took a trip to Calumet several
years ago." said the slim man, "and l
never seed so many ducks in my life
1 took an old army musket along and
one cartridge"
Gone cartridge!" exclaimed half a
dozen listeners. "You don't mean to
say you only took one cartridge and no
other ammunition ?" -
"Wal, I didn't take anything else
but an old army musket, one cartridge
and big spool of wire thread. That's
the sum total of what I always take.-
Ye see, I"
"What was the wire thread for?" in
quired the meek man.
"Wait till I finish, hang it, an yell
know. Wal, when I got out on the
clear water away from the rushes l saw
about half a million ducks ahead of me.
l lust took the end of the wire and
fastened it to the bullet in the cartridge
and loaded my gun an put the spool
on the bottom of the boat, where l
thought IL WOulQll DCCOtllC tetilSlSo W,
and then I waited for good chance
1 happened to blow my nose, which OF
course, made a noise when every
duck raised his head to see what was up,
I drew bead on the eye of the duck
nearest to me and pulled the trigger,
before they had a chance to get scared.
Jewhiz how the spool did spin while
the wire was unwinding. The ducks
flew away, frightened at the noise OF
the gun, but had just $50 ducks, all
strung by their heads on that wire
The bullet had gone through their
heads, dragging the wire with it, and it
took eyes every time excepting one; it
took the tail of that duck just as ne
raised from the water. The bullet
would have got more ducks only the
spool got caught before the wire wus
all unwound and stopped it. l believe
if had had another spool of"
The slim man found himself talking
to the stove. The rest had fled and
none but he remained.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

CURING BAD MEMoRY.-Your mem
ory is bad, perhaps, but can tell you
two secrets that will cure the worst
memory. One is to read subject
when you are strongly interested. The
other is not only to read, but think
When you have read paragraph or a
page, stop-close the book-and try
to remember the ideas on that page,
and not only recall them vaguely to
your mind, but put them into words
and speak them out. Faithfully follow
these two rules and you will have the
golden keys of knowledge. Besides
inattentive reading, there are other
things injurious to memory. One is
the habit of skimming over newspapers,
all in confused tumble, never to be
thought of again, thus cultivating a
habit of careless reading hard to break.
Another is the reading of trashy novels.
Nothing is so fatal to reading with
profit as the habit of running through
story after story, and forgetting them
as soon as read. l know gray-haired
woman, lifelong lover of books, who
sadly declared that her mind had been
ruined by such reading.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

@"No, marm," said the dealer
'sI would like to give you a smaller
pair, but to sell you anything below
eights would render me liable under
the statute for the prevention of fcruelty
TO animals" He didn't sell her any
thing under eights or over it. Some
women are so touchy about the size of
their feet.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

B@-Little Josie was accused by her
sister of telling a falsehood. She at
first denied but afterward said by way
of extenuation, "Well, suppose l did
lie; everybody lies but God and George
Washington.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

s@Washington has always been rec
ognized as the Father of his Country,
but it remained for the Philadelphia
CM0mcIe to discover that blowing out
the gas on retiring was one OF Its
smotherS.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

p@-"Freddie, did you 60 to school
to-day?" "Yes'm." "Did you learn
anything new?" "Yes'm." "What
was it, my boy 2" 81 got on to sure
way of gettin' out for an hour by
snuffin' red ink up my nose"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

B@@These cold mornings remind a
South Bend Tribune pencil pusher of a
young married couple in this city, who
used to take pack of cards to bed
with them, few winters ago, and play
a game of euchre in the morning to see
who would get up and build the fire
The wife happened to be good euchre
player and very seldom had to bull d a
fire.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

R@Southern reporter describes a
set thusly: "The rosy heels of the d,
as he racks down the western turnpa
have been greatly admired by the l~@
lately"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

B@-An epicure is man who knows
what is good to eat, and who talks
about his food necessarily. All that
epicure needs is bristles, and then be
could be classed at a glance.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26
hg-ssWhat a -,

B@-"What wonderful age of inven-
tion it isl said Mrs. Peterson; 81 see
they are now making wire cloth, and
I'll have some this very week to put a
seat in Johnny's everyday pants"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

s9Neighbor-"Your family looks
contented and happy" Mother-"Yes; /;
the boys are happy because they're
through with their whipping, and the
girls are happy because they didn't get
any,"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

p@-Once upon time woman died !;
and as the mouners were carrying her
to the grave they tripped against
a stump and let the coffin fall. She
revived, having been only in a deep
trance. Two years after she really
died, and as they were carrying her
down the same road and neared the
the same stump the disconsolate Wild
over sobbed, "Steady, boys; steady
there. Be very areful!"-Qnis.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

B9-A quack advertisement says that
red noses are sometimes caused by
dyspepsia. This announcement will be
received with almost as much JOY as
that of two-cent letter postage.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26
De NNiact Lady.
Raleigh (N. C.) Ne,os.

Raleigh (N. C) Ne,cs.
At negro baptizing, the other day,
a slim preacher took fat sister down
into the waters of bayou. Just as he
dipped her under the water she slipped
from his grasp and glided under the
root of large cypress tree, from which
sad ENHANCEMENT it was impossible to
extricate her until life was extinct
The preacher, without the slightest
show of embarrassment, raised his hands,
and turning to the crowd, exclaimed:
"De Lawd gibbath an de Lawd TAX
eth away, blessed be de Lawd -
"Dat's all right so fur as de Lawd' S
concerned" replied the drowned wo-
mans husband, "but what's | gwine to
do? 1 amt no lection to de Lawd's
takin' her away eff He vide me anno-
der wife bout de same size.
ssLe Lawd knows his own business"
said the preacher.
s'Dat amt de pint" persisted the
husband, 81 want wife, an wants her
right heah. Yerse'f tuck dat woman
into de water, an Use gwine to hole
yerse'f responsible. I'll gin yer ten
minutes to git me wife, an eff at de
end of dat time you amt done made
'rangements I'll maui you till yer
couldn't baptize a cat. Does yer
heah ?''
The preacher reflected for moment,
and addressing sister, said:
"Sister Kate, to keep down a dis
turbance, won't yerse'f marry de gen
'lemn ?"
The sister agreed that immediate
matrimony was somewhat in her line; !;
and then the grief-stricken husband
turning to the preacher, exclaimed:
"De settlement am satisfactory, brud-
der. Souse de naixt lady,"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

s@'T had rousing time this morn
ing, "said the small boy whose father
hauled him feet foremost out OF bed at
6 O'Clock.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

n@"I never can enjoy poetry when
I'm cooking" said an old lady who
dropped in on US recently. "But when
l step out to feed the hogs and hist my
self on the fence, and throw my soul
into few lines of 'Cap'n Jenks,' it
does seem as if this airth was made to
live on after all.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

B9The young milkman and his girl
stood before the justice of the peace
"You take this milk-ahem this man
for butter or for worse ?" the mighty
man of the law inquired. The girl said
it never a-curd to her before, but she
supposed she would if that was the only
whey.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

p@-A misunderstanding: "How.s
yer gal comm on, Aunt Malviny"
ashes ober to San Antonio, and dat
ar Gabe Snodgrass, what's jes' come
from dar, done tole me dat she's got
stage struck" sis dat soF YES
Mr.. Johnsing, it am a fact" "When
am She gwine to play7" 'Not for a
right smart while yet, 1 reckon, kase
de wheel OBJ anuder vehicle break two
of her ribs when de stage struck her.
Imiscomprehended yo' Aunt Malviny,
at fust. Good ebenin'. ."-ZsxaS Slff-
fngS.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26

BSs-" "Melinda, l don't like the looks
of that lover of yours. % "Why, papa,
dear !" 81 don't think he's possessed
of staying qualities. "Papa, then his
looks deceive you awfully. He'ssuper-
abundantly blessed with staying quail
ties. Why, he'd stay to breakfast if I'd
let him."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-01-26
JOHN McCART,
PLUMBER AND GAS FILTER,
No. 81 N. Calvert Street,

Between Mulberry and Pleasant Sts., Baltimore.
Lift and Force Pumps, Hydrants, Warm and
Cold Showers, Wash Basins, Water Closets OF all
descriptions All Country W York promptly attend
ed to- Entire satisfaction guaranteed in all cases.
Aug.1S,'S3y.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
Athletics.

Boston, G6,-Five thousand per-
sons witnessed the meeting tonight
of Charles Mitchell and John jill
rain, middle weight champion Of
New England. Their sparrlng
match being an exhibition affair it
was declared a draw. The Prussian
and Arthur CHARTERS went on the
stage and the latter announced that
he was re'dy to meat Mitchell and
fight to the finish for $4,000 side
New York, g "A wrestling
match for $500 SIDE is arranged be
tween D G. Ross and Matsada 'SDra
kichi, the Japane,e wrestler,to take
place in Cleveland on April Z, two
bouts catch.as-catch-can, two jap
aDese style, and the toss for the
finish.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
BY LIGHTNING.
HORArIO SEYMOUR.
The Old Man Comes Out fer Uncle
Sammy.

The Old Man Comes Out fer Uncle
Sammy.
New York, 21.-The Mall and E1-
press has an interview with Cover
nor Horatio Seymour on toe politi.
cal situation. He expresses the
opinion thata longer continuance Of
the protective tariff may prove re-
taliatory leg 'sl.ti)n on the part OF
England and other European ma
tiCns. Asto Presidential cand tatss
he expressed the opinion that the
nomination o. Til len would be wise
for the Democracy. The folio wing
questions and ans sers give the first
OF the interview IN this respect:
"And You do not believe riicen
too feeble to Pc form the duties Of
President?" ...xs
swell, they say he cMno. talk |;
nov, that is Il positive advantage.
No man was eSer yet hurt b7 what
he did not say, and 1 say that With
out the least hesitation. Wat ue
want in the residential chair q e
men who think more aud talk less
A man should have his tongue cut
OLE when he enters the White House
as Pre- i1en:."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
Fire Record.

Washington, c6.-Fire was dis
covered in the .stOr shaft OF the
new War Department building this
evening. The entire fire depart
ment was called out, and great ex.
element prevailed, as there was
danger Of the fi,mes spreading to
other parts OF the building occupied
by the State, War aud Navy De.
partmonts. The fire. however, was
soon eytinguished; only small dam
age Was done. Thers WAS trifliDg
damage to the roof; loss, $1,000. It
csus bit from a gas jet.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
TRRIToRY OF UTAH,
Connty nj Utah IS.

County OF Utah. S.
I, V. l.. Halliday, Clerk of the Pro.
bate Ccur. OF Utah County, U, T., here.
By certify that the foregoing ia fnll.
true and correct copy of the orioinsI
"Order to chow cause why order Of sale
of real estate should not be msdan In
said cause, and now on file in INV of4;ce
Witness my hand and the seal of
said Court st Provo Civ. Utah
SEAL County, this 18th day Of March,
AID. 1884.
V. L. HALLIDAY.
mnl9 Probate Clerk.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
TO MALARIA
Sold everywhere S1c. Office A Murray St. N Y
LEGAL NOTICE.
In the Probate Court of Utah
County, Territory of Utah.

In the Mater Of the E. tate Of Horace NJ
alexander, deceased.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
Capital Chips.

Washington, 27 The House com.
mites on postotfices and postroads
decided, seven against four, to
recommend the passage of the bill
providing thst sN letter carriers at
free delivery Offices should be en-
titled to leave OF absence fourteen
days each year without loss of pay
upon the same disionS now
granted to employees of the post
Office department..
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
The Militia Bills.

Cincinnati, 2E.-At the national
guard association this morning the
time was occupied in di, cuasing the
militia bills now before Congress.
preference seemed to be for the one
known as the Slocum bill, but an
amendment was suggested 10 make
$50 instead of 20 men The basis for
appropriation.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28


OF Real Estate sh,uid no. be made.
1T APPEARING TO THE SAID
Court by the petition this day pre-
sented and filed by William d. Alex
snder, the administrator of the estate Of
Horace IA. Alexander, deceased, PRAYING
for an ORDER Of .sle Of part If the real
estate Of said decedent, for the purposes
therein get forth, io-wii: TO pay the
allowance to the family, the debts out
standing against the deceased, ard the
debta. charges and expenses Of adminis-
trsion.
l: is therefore ordered BY the said
Court that all persons interested ia the
estate Of said deceased appear before the
ssid Probate Court on Monday, the slst
dsy Of March, 1884 at ten o'clock in the
forenoon Of laid day, at tse court room of
ssid Probate Court, at the Court House
in Provo City, County, of Utah, to show
csuse why an order should not be granted
to Inc said sd mioistrator to sell so much
of the real estate of the said deceased az
shall be necessary; and that q COW of
this order be published at least once a
day Tor ten successive days in the SAT-
LAKE DAILY HERALD, q negspaner
printed and published in said Territory Of
Utah.
WARREN n. DUSEN BERRY.
Pre- bate Judya.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28

Order 20 Show Cause why Order of Sale
OF Real Estate sh, uid DO. be made.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28

Is The most of,ctual remedy for head
ache. elddiness, nervous depression, pal
ipltaticn of the heart, lassitude and
general liability.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
The St. Lawrence Flood.

Montreal, 27.-Water in st. Law
renee river here Is rising; CELLARS in
the low-lying streets are partially
filled. The flood Is now thought to
be impending.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28

GROUP, WHOoPING COUGH
and Bronchitis Immediately r.
heved by Shiloh's Cura Sold nv q
O. ~ L DRUG ssora M
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
Spring Goods
Our Dress Goods Department.
receiving Novelties in Silks satins Tco Checks and other On
Goods. of Foreign and Domestic makes ~ ~

1 00010oI1C 06pdTCMGQL
Th WIN the nsws Zephyr Cloths Gngbam Chs satsen
ShS iabecohs and Napkins to match. A
ent OF Towels at low Lace patterns and
the piece. Tides In all styles qualities. ~ -
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
In Our Notion Department.

we Snow newest for Ladies' Fancy
OaI stocK OF buttons is choice
S ; toek OF Ladies' Misses ChiIdren Hosiery Tafee
ano Isis Gloves Muslin Underwear variety COrsets
AL eooGs and prices to suit Embrodee. de-
gnS from European manufacturers Feathers
ana Millinery IN all its branches Wholesale and Retail
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
Clothing Department

Cent? and Boys Clothing of styles
:. ~ !" Hats OF newest shapes and coIorings.
1" Furnishing Goods.
!" " Shoes.
we have choice line Cloths Dsgonals Trimmings
Boys wear Make Suits to order and guarantee it,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-03-28
Our Shoe Department

Is IN receipt of newest style Shoes, Ties and
Misses and Children.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-03-14
PROBATE ORDER.
STATE OF MICHIGAN, I &C
CoIrNry or SItAwAasrp sh

STATE OF MICHIGAN,
COUNTY OF SHIAwAssEE. Do
At a session Of the Probate Court for the County
of Shawassee holden at the Probate Office, in the
City of Corunna on Tuesday the 4th day Of March,
in the year one thousand eight hundred and
eighty-four.
PRESENT, A. A. HARPER Judge of Probate.
In the matter Of the Estate of Frederick H. Lacey
deceased.
On reading and filing the petition, duly verified,
of Aiza L. Fowler, praying that administration Of
the estate Of said deceased may be granted to the
petitioner some other suitable person.
Thereupon il is Ordered That Monday the 31st
day OF March, 1884, at ten o'clock in the fore
noon, be assigned for the hearing of said petition,
and that the heirs at law of said deceased and all
other persons interested In said estate required
to appear at session Of said Court, then to be
holden at the Probate Office In the city Of Corunna
and show II any there be why the prayer of the
petitioner should not be granted;
And II Is Further Ordered, that said petitioner
give notice to she persons interested in said estate
of the tendency Of said petition and the hearing
thereof by causing copy Of this order to be pub
lshed In THE TIMES, newspaper printed and
circulated I'm said County of Shawassee for three
successive weeks, previous TO said day OF hearing.
"a trne copy) A.A. HARPER, Judge OF Probate.