St. Paul daily globe., 1884-09-26
Facts Concerning Jay Gould.

1He Otner morning Wnlie Mr Cole, The
proprietor of the approaching circus and
menagere of that name, was picking his
| teeth on the steps of that excellent circus
hotel, the Russ house, tall sunburned, bald
headed man, with pine burrs in his clothes
and stick of sassafras in his mouth, ap-
preached and said: ''Be you the wild ami
NAL man, Mistera"
The proprietor of the double mammoth
mastodon aggregation admitted that such
was the case.
''Then," proceeded the party from the
the mountains, 81 think I'll get you to make
me an offer for large-sized, healthy noun
tain lion rye got.'
GOOD specimen, eh?" asked the circus
man.
"Good? WE'LL should say so. Measures
eleven feet from the tip of his nose to the
tip of his tail. Caught him myself when
cub, just four years old tomorrow"
'Hum--good appetite?''
"Appetites Great Scott-sppetitel Well,
I should smile-that's just why I'm parting
with jay call him Gould, because he
takes everything in. If it wasn't for his ap-
petite, and the queer little things it makes
him do, wouldn't part with Gould for for
tune.n
''savage, ehl"
Well no; don't know as I should call Jay
savage, exactly-sorter nibblsh, though, he
may be. He has kinder habit of gnawing
up things, so to speak. In fact the neigh
bors q 1--we up at Bladder's Peak have
gotten SO fussy and peticular of late, that I
can't so much as unchain j. G.. for little
fresh air without their getting grumpy over
itn
''There's no pleasing some people," said
the hippodromer. 81 should say not, now,
f'rinstance bout three months after Jay got
to be as big as boarding house sofa, came
home one day from picnic and fo'snd he
had eaten up Aunt Maria, who had been left
at home to mind the house, leastwise she
was nowhere to be found; and as Jay Gould
seemed a sorter bulgy like, and kept coughing
up hairpins and false teeth for day or two,
we kinder suspcioned the whole thing"
Maternal aunt?" inquired the Snowman,
thoughtfully Exactly. My wife took on
dreadfully at first and wanted me to shoot
Jay right away. But told her that he prob
ably suffered good deal as 1t was, and that
most likely he would catch rheumatism and
things from the remains, and we had better
call it square,"
''And did she?"
''Well, she kinder got reconciled after a
while, especially as Jay seemed fond of play
| ing with the children. One morning soon
after that my wife's mother-whole family
| lived with me, you see-didn't come down
to breakfast. AS all her false hair was hang
ing over a chair back and Gould crawled out
from under the bed licking his chops, and
with his tongue good deal coated-mother-
in-law was always taking things for the liver
complaint-we saw at once it was another
visitation of Providence, and that the heavy
hand of offlcton was again upon us.''
Looked that way, didn't it?"
Well, as you may suppose the old lady
that's my wife, pranced around good deal
then, and got down the breech-loader
right away. But just then arrived goI
medal from the s. P. G. A. society, awarded
on account of my forbearance in the Aunt
Maria business, and so got her calmed down
| after awhile.''
| ''Pacified her. eh2n
I managed a reprieve for Jay, somehow.
You see l was alway s fond of pets, and ten.
der hearted, and all that, you understand. I
argued that the poor animal didn't know that
he was doing wrong-merciful man is mer-
ciful to his beast, etc. That smoothed things
| over for another MONTH"
''What happened thenl
est hoy, down to the store to get some sugar,
and he took Gould along for company. Now
whether it WAS because Jay was fond Of sugar
| or moi, i don't know, but be came home alone,
! and as soon we noticed peculiar kind Of
| bulge on his ribs about as big as Johnny, we
| concluded that the dread archer had morseled
| another Skidmore-my name is Slddmore
! for his own. The whole family took on
| like mad, and Mrs. Skidmore wss about to
shove the powder keg unGer Jay G., and
| touch it Off herself, when pointed out, that
it wouldn't do to desecrate our offspring's
tomb in that way. So just had the burial
service said over the lion and tied Grape
around his neck for thirty days. How does
/ that strike yOul
''After that you kept the animal chainedf'
"Well, n the fact is, / set out to get
| chain several times but one thing and an
other prevented, until one day last week /
actually missed the old lady herself. l
looked around for her couple Of days, when
somehow of sudden / rather suspicioned
where she was. l gave Gould about half a
| pound Of emetic right away, but all we
could get out of him was pair Of high-heeled
| shoes and chest protector. Itwas too late,
| too latel We put the shoes and things in a
| coffin and had Jay led behind the hearse to
the cemetery. Wanted to have as much OF
| the wife present as possible-don't you seei
] We had the animal all decorated with flowers
and things, as fine as you please Folks said
| it was the touchingcst thing that ever took
| place in them parts" and the bereaved hug
! band sighed heavily.
| ''Don't wonder you want to sell the beast,'
remarked the menagerie man after pause.
sWell sorter do and l sorter don't"
| said Mr.. Skidmore abstractedly. ''There's
! so many memories and things clustering
around Jay G., seems kinder like parting
with one's family burying lot as it were.
| On the other hand, though, now that the old
lady is gone, sorter feel as II the insect
had-well, had outlived his usefulness, 50 to
| speak. So just suppose 1 have his box hauled
around to your show after the performances
this afternoon, and see if we can't strike
bargain"
''All right, said the manager, am going
up Salt Lake way after while, and perhaps
can work him off, for big money, to some
| Of the Mormon EIders.''
| "There's a mint Of coin in him as a
family pet" said the other earnestly. and aft
er striking the circus proprietor for season
dead-head, the widower shoul Tered his um-
! brella and drifted sadly down the street.