Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-25
BRIGHT BITS.

A no PUN confession is good for the SOUL
PhiIddelIlhiG call.
A GREAT some-her resort-The mirror
PhiJddeiDhid Chronicle.
this is a cold snap" said the burglar as
he broke open a refrigeratOr.-NeU I0rH
Morning. journal.
THE actress is the one who signs to think of
the advertising wasted on the Morosini GIRL
PhiI0deLDbiG Times.
NO, READER, you are wrong. A brunette is
not net the brewers use for fishing rats out
Of the beer barrels.-Kentucky State journal.
Mr.. MoRosINI complained that his compul-
sorry son-in-law had legs like wires-ln fact
his objection was that the young man had no
visible means of support.
How Illinois a cat can make at midnights
mystic hour of solemn stiffness. Sometimes
it Texas long time to see the point of such
pun.-SoWth md West.
as the bank sound?" asked the visitor. 81
should dollar" replied the teller. And then
everything grew so still and quiet you could
hear the falling due on the thirty day notes.
burlington HdaokeYe.
81 SAW William G. LeDuc the other day at
Hastings, MINI. lie used to be at the head of
the Agricultural Department, and | used TO
offer him suggestions about raising iced tea
by grating an old fashioned teapot ON some
hardy variety of refrigerator. '-BU Nye.
"YEs," he said, 81 attended a bull fight in
Mexico once, and / thoroughly enjoyed it,
81 cannot understand how one can enjoy a
brutal affair of that kind" was the reply.
"NOthing brutal about the fight | refer to-"
Don't you consider it brutal for lot of
MeXicans to Wantonly kill a bull?" "Yes, but
in this case the bull Killed lot of Mexlcans."
AN Austin oolored man, with protru ling
eyes, rushed into Justice Tegeners office and
exclaimed: Il wants Cal Jones, who Ibis next
door to me, put under million dollars bond
ter keen de Deace.n elias he threatened your
life?" ''IIe has done dat berry ding. He said
he war gwine ter fill de next niggah he found
after dark in his hen house plum tull OF buck
shot. "-IeCaS Stfttngs.
sD-OCLEs, the Sicilian sybarIte, being par
ticularly fond Of the pleasures of the table,
the tyrant Hallcarnassus did not fail to invite
him to a sumptuOus banquet, at the beginning
of which he called his priests attention to the
fact that Just above his head was a sword sus-
pended by a single hair So profoundly pos
sessed was D-ocles with the apprehension
that the hair might at any moment fall into
his soup, that he was utterly unable to enjoy
any of the rich vlands provided for his delec-
tatiOn. '-Life.
a. ST. LOUIS girl at a summer resort mu-
sicale had, by her very loud and demOnstra-
tive style of performance at The piano, scored
a success over her less snowy acquaintance
from Cincinnati, and the Cincinnati girls
didn't like it, but one of them managed to say
to her: your fOrtissimO passages are quite
remarkable, Miss Maud" "Thauks," she
said, with an air Of triumph, land l play en-
tirclY by ear" ''Indeedf' sob, yes.H ''Ahi
Then the volume of tone is easily accounted
for. "-Merchdnt TrdseLer.
1T WAS THE PIE
Then cry, wildly cry,
''GIvc me rest or let me die;
Let me sleep, sweetly sleep"
But demon perched on high
Yesl a demon with pie
Hoarsely shouted ''Never, never"
Quoth the devils, sHardly ever"
Then the joke, heartless joke,
Startled me, and awoke.
AwOke in pain.
Half insane.
And said, simply said:
do | dream or am deadf
Have | fallen out of bed?
From the gloom there came reply:
silent be.
1t was the piep"
- LelOistdn JOarnQI,