Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1884-05-12
CHIPS.

thirds rule. Not bad idea.
-
CHIPS.
ny CHIPpER.
The Republican party has evoluted
double vision, color the evolving
motor; perhaps this is the discovery of
new scientific law, rather it may re.
suit in TIE repetition of the famous
feat OF the Kilkenny cats. Two of
these feline sisters had been closed in
a room ior che night. In the morning
the owners, ON entering the chamber,
found only two tails lying on the floor.
The cats had swallowed each other all
but the posterior adornment. Should
this feat be accomplished by the great
Republican party or Texas, black Will
have by far the best of it, and the al
ready large number OF respectable fat
colorad persons will be very greatly in
creased.
Above all things don't wear bad
hat. It's sin against society which
society viii not forgive. It's the great
eat possible give away as to the phthis-
ical condition OF your purse. Now a
conSumptive man will not only be
tolerated but in most cases will be an
object or sympathy; but it is very diff
ferent with a purse. Nobody wants
an empty purse and nobody
invites any one to dinner
who is afflicted with the disease. The
oriental and philosophic Moses caused
The leper to be separated from his fell
lows. fIe made no such enactments
concerning the man with empty purse.
1t was not necessary. He well knew
that the fact becoming known, the un-
happy person would he insulated, not
OF his own VIII, but by the spontane-
ous action of his friends they at once
Withdrew ON the old philosophic prin-
| ciple that nature abhors vacuum
and there Is no vacuum 80 abhorrent to
| human nature as vacant purse
| Wear a good hat, brother. If YOU can't
pay for it obtain it on tick. If YOU
have already exhausted your credit
then steal it. The ethics of this advice
are not very sound. But then society
will forgive you this, but the wearing
of bad hat never! Besides, you are
in danger of causing all your friends
to look cross-eyed. They see you com.
ing; must perchance meet you, but
they look most tixedly asquint and
fstrainingly sweep the off sidewalk
with visual organs which instinctively
turn away from the painful sensa.
ton caused by looking on a
shocking bad hat. Moral: Al.
ways wear good hat, no matter how
you obtain it. Society will respect
the shine and poise of your hat more
han the brains it covers. In these
days brains are very embarrassing en-
dowment. But the other days were
no better. We want muscle now and
turn our eyes longingly to see the out.
come of that great reformer, j. l.. Sui.
Ivan, who has slugged about half n
million out of the American patrons al
high art. No. We put on a new hat
to-day. Our hand is now in poultics
and our shoulder joint won't work
any more. Found lot of friends who
insisted on shaking hands. Now We
need the doctor. 1t hasn't paid ma IL
, wear the old hat 80 long. But "a we
: are a lawyer in Fort Worth and mosl
, manfully endeavoring to support the
luxury of law practice In the gen
city of the Southwest. friends will
kindly overlook the protracted ac
quaintance between ourselves and tn,
rather dilapidated hat we discarded
] to-day with so much regret. Our re
greet was not for the severance of ar
| old time friendship. No! sir. 1t wa,
because of the heart-breakinc
| effort we made to obtain m,
Z one and quarter necessary tt
introduce us TO the successor of on
3 former brain heater. If we are to b,
: frequently subjected to this sort n
T thing we will advertise, sell out on,
lucrative law practice, and retire or
the proceeds. Would do so at ono,
. put desire to save the public from tn,
lrreparable loss sustained in our retire
Q ment.
w.
"Pauper labor of Europep il n YER,
3 gem OF phrase. It's poetic. It's com
! prehensive. It's expressive. There i
not o particle of "brag'' to be diseoy
erd In the combination. 1t rounds
period too so nicely. Besides il il :,
self.gratulatory to American citizen,
8 Oh certain type. Above all IL is th,
8 great idea on which protection, as {
t vast vampire, fattens. But then III
t ,aise as the father of lies. Poor Alta
i -o.t "''Do oSeh Dtut double In hi
0 TASK OF bearing up the world. 9Th,
a pauper labor OF Europe. will shortl,
I insupportable expseding and exnan
. sive monster, protection. There Is -,
panper labor In Europe. The EnglisI
mill girl wears silk. plays ON her man o .
lives In y house, plcnts and cultiyate,
net garden, possesses her bank. hook
ana 70 In every respect lady. IN,
english mechanic wears the hes
! oroadcloth, eats roast beef and nlnn
pudding, has money In every poke
and retires In yet early life on hi,
earnings, when he doesn't develon ,
TASTE for rum: His children are vel
. !e1; well clad, well educated and vel
Trained. His dwelling presents ali On,
signs OF competence, and his w,ia ~ 4
just quite TOO sweet for anything n