davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
Marrying the Family.

"Aunt Eunice," said Emily, little
resentfully, " 1 intend to marry George
himself, and not all his family"
Nevertheless, you will, in effect,
marry all his ancestral line, and it's a
matter of a great deal of Importance to
you what manner of people they were.
"They will have their effect upon
your life's happiness, even though you
never saw their faces nor heard their
names. Family history repeats itself
over and over. Not that / have any
thing against George, Emily, or his
fathers family. 1 only suggest that
you know but little about them, and
ought to know more before you take
such an important step"
"What do you consider good ances-
trail qualities ?" asked Emily, smiling.
"Piety first" said auntie, as she pla-
cidly pursued her knitting. 81 never
would marry into Goddess line. In
dustry, too, is very important. Those
who break the commandment, Six
days shalt thou labor are never pros
pered or blessed of God. An idler
makes a very unhappy home. There
is a busy idleness, too, which is worse
than sitting still, because it leads one
into the way of great temptations. II
is not a great honor for a young man
to be champion billiard or base ball
player. They are apt to be champions
at nothing else"
Emily's cheek flushed little at this
| point, but she made no remark.
Bad, bitter, revengeful blood in s
| family is q terrible legacy to hanC
| down. So is a general fault-finding
spirit. Intemperance can hardly bring
more wretchedness into a door. Yol
remember poor Lillian Day and he
sad match. Albert was a dashing
handsome young man, but he inherited
his fathers and grandfather's evil
| quarrelsOme disposition, and when h
came to settle down to life's work wa
always in a state of war with thOs
about him, besides being a tyrant a
home"
"Auntie, you do take a very uncom
Portable view of this subject. YO1
cannot expect everybody to belong t
such good old family lines as you an
Uncle Rufus. Do you expect all tn
bad ones to remain single ?"
1t would be a blessing if they did,
said Aunt Eunice, calmly. "The soOr
er such lines die out the better. YO
think 1 put the matter in a very seriou
light, Emily, but it is none too seriOu
when you consider that the happines
Of lifetime depends upon it."
3 Aunt Ennice may have held Utopia
views on this subject of marrying
mans whole family, but her views wi
bear pondering, and the subject ma
well have more weight than it does
the minds of thOughtless young girl
who often give the promise vel
: | lightly
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
The Craze for Small Feet.
PEOPLE WHO DESIRE TO HAVE THEIR
TOES CUT OFF.

The competition between dudes in
the matter of small feet has become so
intense that they are visiting the con-
sulting rooms of prominent surgeons
and asking to have their big toes am
putated, 50 that they may be able to
get into boots Of the smallest compass
possible. Professor William II. Pan
coast, of the Jefferson Medical College,
has during the past month, been called
upon by three men and one woman,
all Of them making the singular re-
quest. In every instance he refused to
perform the operation, and the would
be patients went away disguised. The
idea of the surgeons knife aiding them
in their efforts to attain the beautiful
seems to have occurred to hundreds of
people simultaneously, like an cpl
demic.
Il can't account for this remarkable
desire for being mutilated for the sake
of appearances" said DR.. Pancoast to
a Press reporter, but | can say that 1t
has, like all fashionable crazes, sprung
up in very short time. 1t must be
due to the pointed shoes. You see the
cutting off of big toe would not ma.
terially shorten a foot, but it would
make the end of it narrower, so thai
the patient would be able to wear 6
shoe as pointed as a dagger. Thi:
! seems to be the modern conception o
pedal beauty. By-and-by the pointed
Shoe will 90 out, and then these people
who are having their big toes sliced of
will be sorry"
Would the slicing off of his big to-
hurt a dude ?" asked the reporter.
mot materially" answered the ply
sician. "In fact, people whose toe
have had to be amputated through dis
ease, seem to get along all right.
have had lots Of patients whose toe
have been removed. and they have al
ways been cOnsoled when told of tn
dainty little boots they will be able t
wear. And | really don't think the
miss the toes. 1t is a curious fact tina
most Of the applicants are men. POI
ular prejudice would at once cOnclud
that none but woman could be S
vain One Of my visitants was a farm
er, though what on earth he wante
with small feet | can't imagine.
It's common thing for surgeon
to have patients who want to hay
meeting eyebrows cradicated," PrOfe
sor Pancoast continued. " In the:
cases we remove the the hair by tt
roots and then apply electricity, whiC
gives the person a sharp, singing pal
After this treatment the undesirab
brows never return. Ladies who a
so unfortunate as to have mOustach'
are treated in the same way, but it
: so painful that they can only have ha
a moustache removed in a day. Th'
go away looking very funny. 1t
getting quite common TO do away wi
defects in the ear or nose. All the
items are getting to be part Of ply
clans regular routine; that is, all e
cepting the big-toe treatment, which
would never perform for anyone.
call it flying in the face Of nature. II
big toe is not a superhuity; in fact,
has a very decided use, and the prOfC
sion should discountenance any {
: tempts to abolish it."-Phila. Press.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
Chicago Editors Have Some Fun,

The editor of the Chicago Nelos
charged that the editor of the Chicago
Journal wrote a hand by the side of
which the hieroglyphics of the ancient
Egyptians were plain as print. The
editor of the Journal denied this, but
wrote the denial in such a way that the
printers set up" Tribune instead of
Ne,rs. Then the editor of the Tribune
grew indignant, and wrote a note to
Mr.. Shuman denying the statement.
The Journal editor couldn't read the
note. but printed it in the crop reports
and wrote a note to the editor of the
NelCs, having by this time discovered
its mistake. The NelUs man, unfOrtu-
nately, started to read the note upside
down, and as it was signed Shuman,
made the very natural mistake of
thinking it was an article on Sea
men," and so sailed into the owners of
vessels who persisted in paying sailors
such small wages. By this time the
| editor of the Tribune grew indignant
at not having his note noticed, and
wrote another, saying:
"SIR: | desire you to retract the
assertion that the editor of this sheet
ever published a line rehecting Oh
YOUR penmanship. 1t is not the Gus
JON Of this paper to indulge in idle
tests at a mans misfOTtunes or mechan
ical defects"
And to this the Chicago Journal maj
not, of course, being able to read it
responds:
"Your apology is sufficient. As yor
are aware, have long favored a higt
protective tariff, and am glad to know
you are now convinced it is the bette,
plan,"
And the editor of the Tribune, as h
threw it into the waste basket, eX
claimed "When will people lear
! that the authors real name must &C
company all communications"
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
Merchant Tailoring.

We have a very full
stock of the finest Foreign
and Domestic Suitings to be
found. Our Cutters and
Tailors are the best. What
we have said about prices
will the more readily be seen
in this department, as any
business man can readily
see how we can afford to
make them much lower. We
do an immense trade and
hope to increase it, we are
sure we will when the people
find us out, as many have
done. We are now making
great preparations for the
Fall and Winter trade, and
want everybody to know II
and come and see us.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
The Times " Definitions.

Art-Autumn's colors.
BIiss-Free from debt
Conscience-An imprisoned friend.
DeIiqht-And so he failed.
Enuy-The tribute that wealth ex-
acts.
Fancy-Once man and always a
child.
Greatne8s-A majesty powerless to
produce something from nothing.
Happiness-Simplicity's bride.
IHeness-Man's natural inheritance.
Jealou8y-The defect of perfection.
Knowledge-To unlearn.
Laughing-Darwin's theory ilustra-
ted.
M8er-The anger of economy.
Ndture-The atheist rebuked.
ODinion-The makeshift of the mind
Pomp-The dance of circumstances
Queer-The promenade Of originality
Rest-The bore's epitaph.
,Sass-An editors nightmare.
TTme-The gentle arbiter who is al
ways on hand at a protest.
UncIe-Often his address is up the
spout.
Tdriety-Mince pies.
W1iskey--Calamity's ticket.
X-acIy-The chalk-line of destiny
Year-The subscribers grace.
Zig-zag-The trademark of electri
| citV.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
st. John in Texas.

A rather shy looking man, who had
evidently not been in Texas very long,
climbed out of q wagon, and entered
an Austin book store, in the windows
of which were pictures of Blaine, LO-
gan, Cleveland and Hendricks.
" l would like to purchase a picture
of St. John"
Which?" asked the clerk who was
little hard of hearing.
"St. john"
"Who did you say sent John?"
"Picture of St. John"
l don't think we'have any picture
of St. John, New Foundland."
Z" / don't mean the town of st. John,
mean St. John"
We don't keep any saints pictures
here, but there is Catholic book store
down"
The stranger became a trife impa-
tient. He said in an irritated manner:
1 want picture of Governor St.
John, who is a candidate for Presi-
dent.n
For president of what? OF base
ball club?"
No sir. For President of the United
States, of course"
"There are no United States of
course. There are the United States
of America, but as St. John must have
died 1900 years ago, l don't think he
would so far forget himself as to run
for President at this late day. The
truth is, my friend you are one of those
religious cranks, and you are drunk
besides. want you to quit talking
that way in our store, when there's la,
dies in it. You can't browbeat and in
suit me, and before the admirer of st
John knew it he was out in the street
The clerk wiped the perspiratiOr
from his brow, and resumed his posi-
tiOn behind the counter, remarking:
81 wonder if some other darn foo
living out on Onion Creek, won't come
in before night and want a photograph
of Judas Iscariot, or Moses in the burn
ing bush, or some of those other Ole
Testament buffers. ."-Terds SiftingS.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

BOLT OF A Book AGENT.--The New
Bedford Mercury perpetrates the fol-
lowing: A man whose appearance
indicated that he was a book agent
stopped at the gate of citizen on
Hawthorne street the other day.
"Is the gentleman of the house in P'
inquired the agent. " He is not" was
the reply. He is at the police court
He shot book agent yesterday" The
book agent bolted.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

In Maine they have lived under a
stringent temperance law, since 1916.
In 1861 the law was so strengthened
that all liquors unlawfully kept for
sale were made liable to seizure. Since
1868 the people have lived under a
prohibitory law, but it had defects
which the present constitutional
amendment must undoubtedly correct.
However, under their 1858 prOhibitOry
law the sales of strong drink the past
year only amounted halfa million dol
lars, whereas, before the law was en-
acted the sales amounted to thirteen
millions of dollars, and not distillery
exists in the State. There are now
four States with prohibitory cOnstitu-
tional amendments-Ve Iowa,
Kansas and Maine, while more than
halfof Massachusetts, Maryland, West
Virginia and Arkansas, are under local
option. Kentucky, Georgia, Tennes-
see, the CarOlinas, and several other
States have adopted local option very
extensively; while q strong temper
ance sentiment exists all over the land
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

A VALUABLE PEACE OFFICER.-A
determined looking man, with a nose
like the beal1 of hawk, a bad eye,and
built all the way from the ground
up like a bank safe, applied for posi-
ton on the New York police force.
"Do you think that you can make
arrests, and guard prisoners so that
they will not escape ?"
The applicant smiled n smile that
made the toughest policeman feel un-
comfortable. A sort of combined Othel-
10 and Richard the Third smile.
eff you had six prisoners, and one
was to escape, would you leave the
five and follow up the fugitive?"
"Of course not. I'd club the five to
death, who didn't try to run away, sc
that I'd know where to find them wheT
1 got back with the remains of the
other one"
"You can't fool us. You have beer
on the police force before, " said the in
spector, as he made him out a captains
commission. .-Terds SiftiRgs.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

TILToN's CHOICE" Theodore Til
ton is in favor of Blaine"
How do you know? He has not
been heard from, has he?"
"No, but Beecher is going to take
the stump for Cleveland, Mutual
Friend Moulton is out for Butler, so it
is Hobson's choice with poor Theodore
Tilton. He has to take Blaine or worry
along without any candidate to speak
Of"
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

A DREADFUL THREAT.-An Austin
colored man, with prOtruding eyes,
rushed into Justice Tegener's office re-
Gently, and exclaimed:
81 wants Cal Jones, wat Ibis next
door to me, put undera million dollars
bail to keep de peace"
"Has he threatened your life ?"
"He has done dat berry ting. He
said he war gwine ter fill de next mig
gah he found in his hen house, after
dark, plum full OBJ buckshot."
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

The mysterious crank, who, it was
Thought intended to shoot Mrs. James
A. Garfield, was on Thursday sentenced
to pay fine of $500, and to imprison-
ment for twelty-eight days.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
TlG odd Fellows Cemetery
SMYRNA, DEL.

The Trustees of this Cemetery are now ready to
sell lots and issue deeds for the same. The size Of
lows. For n whole lot $50; half lot, $50; quarter
LOT. 500 There is not badly situated lot in the
Cemetery. but every one has choice OF location,
and there being but one price according to SIZE
enables those first selecting to get their choice OF
location, and as there has been several already
sold. we would advise those who have no place OF
burial that it will be to their advantage to select
them as early as possible.
This is undoubtedly the best Location IN TINS
vicinity for a Cemetery being all high and a
nearly level piece Of land, beautifully situated on
the State road within sight of the town, and YET
et such A distance from il as to guarantee that it
will never be used for other than Cemetery pur-
noses (and the deed of agreement positively for,
bids its use for any other purpose than thaI OF
sepulture). For further particulars call on or ad-
GEO NJ. STEVENSON
E. NJ. FOWLER,
JOS. WRIGHT, Truetcns
f. J. COLT
b. V. WELDON,
JOS EVANS,
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
BuTLER's PROsPECTs.-"B Butler don
.4o,,1 q c.bost Of n cbOU .

DU 7 LIN y T INV9L To 7 U 1'41- -
stand a ghost of a show
His friends think otherwise"
"They are foOling themselves. Don't
you suppose that the Blaine and Cleve-
land newspapers would have publish
ed some disgraceful affair about But
ler's private life if there was any show
of his being elected. He is not yet
sufficiently formidable to justify of his
being slandered."
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

The statue of General Reynolds was
unveiled with appropriate ceremonies
in the presence of an immense crowd,
in Philadelphia, on Thursday.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

The rapid improvements in the many
ills to which the human race is heir,
says the Daily World, Nashville, Ten
nessee, can be attributed to but one
source, and that is St. Jacobs Oil, the
world removed pain-cure.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
AGOOd Chance
To get the best Clothing at
very Moderate Prices is offer
ed by us.

very Moderate Prices is offer
ed by us.
Well tell you why we
have desirable Clothing. We
are constantly making to
order for our best citizens
and study up the styles and
kind Of garments to be worn.
We are very particular about
the fitting Of our garments,
have them we'll trimmed and
made, so that we claim our
Suits are much more desira-
ble than the ordinary Ready
Made are. We carry a very
large assortment Of sizes and
kinds. We can fit from the
least Boy to the largest Man.
ABOUT PRICES.-We tell
you how we do to make them
low; we buy from l~t hands
as far as we can. BY that
we get a great reduction in
prices and can know the
better what we are buying,
and then we pay cash for
them, thereby making a
great saving. You know a
cash buyer can have the in
side track all the time.
Our manner of doing
business is to try to please
and give satisfaction. We
show our goods cheerfully
price being marked on eacf
garment or suit, so that yOr
can see at a glance what We
are offering. We are anxious
to sell, but never want ;
customer to purchase unless
they are perfectly satisfied
to do so. Anything bOugh
from lis not satisfactory IL
fitor quality can be returned
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

When symptoms of malaria appear in any form
take Ayers Ague Cure at once, 70 prevent the de
velopment Of the disease, and continue unit
health is restored, as it surely viii be by the u.s.
of this remedy. A cure is warranted IN every in
stance.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

The Whithall Times calls Cleveland,
"The new Moses. He can lead us to
the Promised Land" This sounds
very well when sung to campaign
music. but it must be remembered that
Moses never got there.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

"IDoN'T FEEL LIKE WoRK."-It makes no diff
ference what business you are engaged IN !;
whether Won are a preacher, a merchant, me-
chanic a lawyer or a common laborer, you can I
do your work well while you are half sick. Thou
sands try to, but all in vain. How much better
TO keen YOUR organs in good order by taking
Parkers Tonic when you feel a little out of
sorts" Il would be money in your pocket. one
| dozen hours full Of languor and pain. sep Slim
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
ELLIOTT, Johnson & CO.,
BANKERS AND BROKERS,
NTfIvofnufOn. Delaware

" ITITTTITIS U-IIIg =
Rnv and sell Stocks Bonds and all other securi-
Ties on commission and have Direct IftDdte fires
from their office to all principal cities ana eS,
changes Grain and Provisions bought ana sofa
In Chicago. Deposits received and Interest allow
ed Local securities and mortgages bought and
- mar 7-ly
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

Belva Lockwood is a dodger, too.
Her letter of acceptance says not q
word for or against the Mother Hub
bard dress.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

The latest reports to the Department
of Agriculture at Washington show
that the corn crop is in better eondi-
tion than in any September since 1880.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
FOR SALE.

Ono secondhand Steam Engine and Boiler for
Immediate delivery. This Engine and Boiler mas
been running in cur shops and been replaced Dy
larger power but will do good service iol loi's
"Hiio SS'' GEO. W. & s. TAYLOR,
ne Smyrna, Del.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
MUSIC.
Mrs. J. Fl. Groves

Desires to notify the citizens Of Smyrna ana
Vicinity that she can take few more pupils IN
Music ipiano and Organs) at her residence on
Deiavare street SMYRNA. She Is agent for Organs
and Pianos. Nu6 = y
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

Vienna newspapers, referring to the
rumored possibility of the partial re-
ductiOn of the great standing armies as
a result of the conference of the three
Emperors, declare that nothing would
be more welcome to Austria.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

Two hundred years ago the plague
finished thirty thousand of the people
of Naples in six months. The cholera
is not likely to surpass that, but is
working with deadly effect.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

The Texas FEvER.-ConversatiOn
between tenderfoot and a native of
the Lone Star State:
81 don't see how you are able to
raise any cattle in TeXas?"
"Why not? ?"
"On account of the Texas fever"
"There is one popularity about the
Texas fever that you may not have
heard Of"
"What is that
"There has never been a case of it
in Texas.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
IDLE WORDS.

idle words
Why will We never die,
But float forever in the sky.
Dimming the stars that shine in memory,
Destroying hope and causing love from earth to
flee,
Ill-Omened birds
idle words
Preying upon the heart,
Leaving with wounds deadly smart;
Expiring breath that taints the very air,
viii We forever leave your victims to despair?
ill-Omened birds.
o idle words!
How many are the tears
That We have caused to flow the fears
Ye have begot and made TO mountains grow,
Crushing the innocent beneath weight of woe,
Ill-Omened birds.
0 idle words
Your flight is ever on,
In heaven darkening the sun
BY weary jOumeyings without delay,
To Wend your drcary way unto the judgment
day,
Ill-Omened birds
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

1t is rumored that the German Colo
nizatiOn Society is about to send an
expedition to make extensive acquisi-
tions of land In West Africa.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
Furniture Of all kinds.

obsir. Tla chamber Suits. Bureaus. Bedsteaus,
Rsiee, "a lnges, Tables Stands Mattresses, Sprint 9
lriss5 :, sei{ Thing IN the Furniture Line ea..L
''9 g goods Jan 2-tf
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

England will have to buy 183, 100000
bushels of foreign wheat this year.
America will be found doing business
at the old stand on the usual terms, G.
o. D.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

Choice Mackeral, at ]. B. COOper's.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

There is a slight decrease in the
cholera deaths at Naples, and the pop
ular feeling is growing more satisiac-
tory. The total number of deaths IN
France is 5000.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

The tenaeity with which people abide by their
early faith in Ayers SaTsaparilia can only De ex-
blamed by the fact that it is the best blood med
cine ever used, and is not approached IN excel
lence by any new candidate for public favor
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24

Bicycle riding has now reached a
point in popular favor from which it is
more likely to advance than to recede.
1t furnishes a graceful, healthful exer-
else, which is an excellent substitute
for horseback riding; and it has this
advantage-the machine eats no oats.
Proof of the popularity of this sport is
seen in the success of tournaments
which are held from time to time
throughout the country. The attend
ance and the exhibitions of skill are
always good. At Springfield one iron
horse made a mile in 2.53. This is an
excellent record, even if it is a long
way behind Maud S.
Smyrna times., 1884-09-24
That Only Surviving Dog.

The proprietor of a BOwery, n. Y,
dime museum, became low spirited at
the smallness of the receipts, He con-
suited with the ticket agent about it.
The latter said
"What you need is some fresh at
traction"
"Why," exclaimed the boss, we have
the same attractions as all the other
museums. Like them we have the
only living mermaid with real fins.
We have got an only living specimen
of the Wild Man of BOrneo. l don't
see why our museum doesn't draw"
g Yes, but you must keep up with
| the times-You must keep up with the
rest, if you want to succeed" replied
/ the ticket agent.
Something must be done for the
rent is due next Monday said the
only wild man of BOrneO, nervously.
"What am to do?" asked the boss.
"Do like the other dime museums.
Get an only surviving Esquimaux dog,
of the Greedy relief expedition. Get a
pair of them. Every other museum in
town has had an only surviving Esqui-
maux dog, and we are being left out in
the cold"
The boss started off, and in less than
half an hour he had stolen march on
all the other dime museums by exhibit
ting two only Surviving dogs of the
Greedy relief expedition.
.-
Another elopement of a millionaire's
daughter with a coachman in New
York, lends zest to the inquiry into the
cause of the sudden and apparently
very general transfer of the hearts of
the fair sex from the military man to
his rival on the box. The latest theo-
ry, and by far the most plausible, that
has been yet offered, is that it is 9
question of brass buttons. The coach
man has stolen march on the soldier
by quietly enlarging his buttons unit
they are two or three times the size OF
those on the breast of the son of Mars
The demand for big buttons is likely
to become brisk, now that the coach
mans little game is discovered.