Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-01-04
Tribune TWINKLEs.

y StenperaCure; generally nlgner DdIolueIoi.
l. TRIBUNE TWINKLEs.
CHR1s1MAs and twins can come but once
year.
THERE'S many slip 'twixt the sidewalk and
the hip in these icy days.
{ ONE of San Antonio's citizens bears the name
of Hellborn. He was born in Texas.
If an Idaho man wears socks he is called
dude and fred out of the best society.
"LEr us drink to the dying year," sings q
4 poet, Thanks. Now let's take another to the
tiiving year.
y PRESIDENT ARTHUR was presented with six
Il umbrellas on Christmas Ia this omen that
& there is more reign in store for him?
H. An armless man in Maine is an expert in
using the pen with his toes. He i" said to be
the champion short hand writer of the east.
5 THERE is only one Smith in congress. This
B should be remembered by historians when
u making up the remarkable happenings of the
century. ..
A JAMESTOWN couple made the most econom-
II ical bridal tour on record. After bidding their
I friends an affectionate goodbye, they went up
Y stairs and went to bed.
SENATOR SALISBURY, OF Delaware, is the only
I ifhember Of the senate who has never been mar
ri6d1f Ihis explains the many glanoes. of envy
q 81 3t him from all over the chamber.
GENERAL GRANT says he does not intend to
live in Washington this winter. When man
of the generals stamp determines to sEake off
evil associations he does it right on the spot.
CoNK1INa rays be will not pursue the phan
tom of the presidency. It would be useless. 1t
rot too much the start of him when he gave
Platt a chance to ejaculate the memorable words:
II Also"
PIT. BARNum has made his will in the pres
senoe of three physicians, who testify that he
was of sound mind. P. T. Barnum of sound
I mind! Oh, heavens! The doctors must have
been bribed.
i A BABY boy with petri6ed hips has been born
I in Wales. When he reaches a sparkable age
how he will laugh at the betty boot the girls
father will occasionally send toward him on
! missionary tour.
A MANDAN young lady named Fern,
4, From her lover received square spurn,
: Her friends were all grieved
To see her deceived,
But she said that she cared not durn.
J A BISMARCK man thought he saw buffalo on
abe bottoms last week and shot it, and the next
}aav the owner of the steer presented him with q
tbiil for $40. 1t even makes him mad now to
,ee the name of Buffalo Bill in the papers.
! somr friend sent Professor Swift, of the War
iner bbaervstory, bottle of Montana whisky Tor
|, Christmas gift, aud that night he discovered
s.177 new comets with shaved tails and i've
i,roneed horns. Warner wouldn't let him re-
t,ort 'em.
! PHILADELPHIA CALL: 1t is said that one of the
members of Irving's company had never left the
1hoards of his London theater for forty years
until arriving in this country. This does not
rafer to Miss Terry, - that l.dy has appeared at
other London thesters-
rHE new King of AMMAN is = youth of 10
v..rs. who was invested with the crown on the
/ q of December under the name of Keinphau.
hi. majesty took few back numbers OF the
! n, ,,nrnr from his files and stuffed the crown
= ~ them 10 that it il said to fit him very
nicely.
/ = the ",neels, sweet angels pray you"
.honld come around the TRIBUNE office during
/ .,,ch ! cold snap the present one and leave
..tha beautiful gates ajar," they would hear
..rrnle of prize profanity of the editorial brand
!! .... uonld take the first premium at any fair
in the country. L. - .'@'
| | ASrarrNp of the TRIBUNE expresses willing
/ - make an affidavit to the fact that a
.no,.rer Of whisky fell at Little Missouri last
#-..L He further naively alleges that since
49, che residents of the town have placed
! 80. troughs on their houses and planted bar
rels nnder them. --
J. - .aH1NaroN paper says: Mrs. Langtry
,..s;ved gift of el, 600 diamond ring while
= =, q warrington, but has no idea who it came
!. 1--....7 i, Hasn't, eh? Well, she may have told
. th.t vay in Washington. Every now and
&, 3. member Of the TRIBUNE force pulls open
a,.rer. takes therefrom sweet letter OF ao-
~ adeement and then smiles scornfully over
~. 81 published fact M that . woman can't keep