Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-14
BRIGHT BITS.

A CLEoPATRA's needle should be set up to
mark the floods. 1t would soon be full OF
OhiOroglyphics.- fourier Journal.
THIS is a new figure for the German" said
Hans, when he was fined $50 for selling beer
without a license.-BOStOn Bulletin.
LINKS OF LOVE" is a very pretty heading
for a wedding notice. The real lynx OF love
is the watchful. jealous wife of the the equally
yigilant husband.-PutsbHrg Telegraph.
THE Ohio editor who wrote "Our wood is
about out, but, thank Heaven, this Is cam
paign year" should be Investigated. There
Is evidently bribery sOmewhere.-Pecks Sun.
EX-GOVERNOR ENGLISH, who began life as
a carpenter, is now worth several hundred
thousand dollars. 1t is supposed that he got
a job at building house by the day.-Pht4a-
de1phtd CAL.
THE pessimist who wrote, 1.-The world is
duction from the fact that the only circus
which came to his town passed through with
out stopping.-Ne'0 York Journal.
SCENE: An Irish cabin. Pat is i'll. Doctor
has just called: "Well, Pat, have you taken
jabers, / nave, but don't feel any better yet;
maybe the lid hasn't come of yet"
\ LADY who wept copiously over the sor-
rows of Juliet" and who shed her false
teeth at frequent intervals, in the violence
of her emotion, divided attention with the
star at the theatre the other eyenlng-B0Ston
Globe.
TUE MAN who is most strenuOusy opposed
to the horizontal reduction is the young fellow
in the new trOwsers, who slipped down IN the
middle of the icy street just as he was about
tipping his hat to a $500, 900 heiress. Rockldnd
Courier.
VERY jam-tartlttle woman Lady stebbins
is amt she?" whispered one masher to an
other in the ball room. Yes. moaned SIR
Spiflany Stebbins, who overheard the remark,
but she's more than that-she a POSITIVE
tartar, my boys. "-L0nd0n Fun.
THE latest device used in England to make
a dark horse visible at night is to paint his
blinkers collar and other parts OF the harness
with phOsphoric paint. This does little prac-
teal good What is needed Is patent for
painting the road so that it will be visible
NelC York Graphic.
A MICHIGAN reporter asked the "Sweet
Singer" of that State what she thought Of
Ella Wheeler's abilities as a p0etess and re-
ceived the reply: oval, she's dom purity
fair for a beginner, but the gals young yit.
When she's had my experience at sawln' OIL
language she'll most likely pan out tolerable
hefty on the rhyme racket. "-BtsmdrcE Irt-
buRe.
On the wedding tour: "Don't sit so near
the window, darling, that we may have the
carriage all to ourselves, for there Is some
body sure to get in il he sees your pretty
facep Thirty years later: Move up TO the
window, old woman, so that we may nave the
compartment to ourselves; you will frighten
all the other passengers away, you knoW!-
Ftie0ende Bldtter.
A SMART STEPPING citizen of Tennessee was
in New York few days ago to see about rails
ing money for proposed railroad line down
in his country, and, when asked to explain, he
said: There's no explanation about it; this
is to be q railroad 200 miles long" But about
the company?' "Oh, that's been organized
and all the officers elected" 'What's the
capital?" FIFTY million dollars GLOW
much stock has been takenI" about $500
worthY" "What! only $500 WORTH" That's
all mister; and if you fellers down here will
only pitch in and gobble up the rest Of it Wen
90 ahead and make things hum Wall Street
NelCs.
A GENTLEMAN in a street car, while reading
a newspaper, discovered a paragraph which
struck him as particularly funny. 'IIere is
something good,' he said to his nelghbor, and
read the item to him. A tired look swept
over the gentleman's face, but he never
smiled. Presently the reader came across
another paragraph that tickled his fancy. II
will try him with this one" he said. He did
so, and a tear actually well@d out of his neigh
boris eve and cOursed slowly down his cheek.
"Heavens man." was the exclamation;
whats the matter with you? Have you no
sense of humor? What do you do to pass
away the time, anyway Looking mourn
fully out of the window the stranger replied:
II am a proof reader ON a comic weekly
PhjiddelDhtG CdU.