The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-12-13
Nasty Tells How the Faithful are to
be Provided for.
CONFEDERlT X ROADS,
witch isin the State NV Kentucky, J
December L. 1884.

n0unsin the determinashen NV Presi-
dent Cleveland to observe absurd
Civil Servis Reform and refoosin to
remove Radikel Fedrel offish0lders,
ceptin fur coz, the effect NV witch
wood be to keep the Niger Lubbock
in the Post otis, and Joe Bigler and
Pollock the Illinoy store Keeper in
the posishens Nv Revenoo and Gus.
tom house Collectors, blitin the hopes
Nv the 237 patriots witch labored zeal
Nv the 237 patriots witch labOred zeal
usly fur Cleveland and Reform, at
the Corners.
The meeting wuz yOonanimous on
one pint, and that wuz that wat offises
Their is shood be immeiitly turned
over to the faithful and zelus Dimoc-
risy anyhow, to witch Deekin Pogram
assented, but, with previso.
"Ther is suthin more which we hev
a rite todemand," sed he, land wich
shell demand in thunder tones.
There is but three principle offises,
and perhaps twenty subordinet places
under EN- al the Corners, witch must,
or at least shood, go to the Dimoc-
risy, ez a reward for their onremittin
labors in the coz Nv Reform. We
deserve them offises, for who swal-
Tered the pill NV Marian Halpin, or
who consented to assOshiashen with
Beecher more gracefully than we?
"The offises that is" continnered
the Deekin, "pervides for say twenty
three NV the 237 Dimekrats NV the
Corners, the county and moonisipple
offisas for say 20 more, making round
numbers so that are fixed! Wat are
700 going to do fur the remainin 1877 ?
How do you perpOse to take keer NV
them? Every Dimocrat in the Corn
ers worked fur Cleveland and Re-
form. and every wun NV EN- is en-
titled to considerashun. True, they
hev different degrees NY ability, but
then there are different degrees NV
offises. The struggle wuz fur OffiseS,
and as Their wuz a yoonanimity in
labrin fur the coz ov Reform, so l
motifs, Their is a yoonanimity in gittin
reward fur it.
swat is to Re done fur the 1877 ?
Only wun thing kin be done. Fifty
offises amt enuff to go around among
237. l kin solve the problem with
Wun hand tied behind me. We hev
got to hev more offises creatid, so that
every DimOkrat kin hev one. Pos
sibly it would anser to hev say 125
offises creatid, for it wood require at
least so groseries like Basc0m's to
supply that number Nv Dimekrats in
reject NV regler salaries
At this pint Bascom interrupted
the venerable Deekin.
II pertest," yelled Bascom, "agin
emmy proposishun to establish any
more groseries at the Corners. hev
stood behind my bar for "a long and
weery years, extendin credit to a
thirsty Dimocrisy, watin and hopin
that the millennium NV Dim0cratiC
President mite come. 1t hez cum at
last, and now l am goin to reap wher
l hev sowed. 1 want my just reward
l want the 1877 addishunal offises
creatid, but also want the privilege
Nv supplyin them with likker. FUR
CASH. l want the luxury of settin
out bottle, afore l die, with the GER
tainty NV bein paid cash fur likker
and not bein compelled to listen tC
the disgustin mOnotony NV 'Jist mark
| it down y / want all the places made
tibet it is possible. but ez hev been
sowin fur "a yeers, want four yeers
NV reap. Ez many offis4s ez voc
please, gentlemen, but no more gro
SERIES"
II amt pertikeler !" replied the
Deekin. II only made the sejestior
TO relieve the President"
Then 1 upspoke:
my friends" 1 remarked, 1--WE
shell hev no trouble. Wekin git noe
places created, but ther are other
things than p aces. There is a moo Gus
tom House to build, and cOmbina'
shen will git the contrak, and thel
will he an army NV labrers to be EN-
pIOyed-"
Then Their arose SIGH storm ez
never heerd. They SHOUTED in kOrus
"Labrers indeed ] What do W.
want Nv laber? We Good hev laberet
ez well under a Republican Presiden
ez under DimOcratic. Wat we wan
is offs witch don't require laber. W.
want more offises !"
/ Finely it wuz decided to deman'
the creashun Nv enuff offiSes to Civ,
every man Nv EN- a place, and tn
meetin adjourned satisfied.
Eff Cleveland disappoints US I'm
gone case. hev given my word tina
this shell be done, and done ez earl.
| Ia 49, aOrinn No DOooihIa I'm An