The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-06-14

be cleaned out of S450,000 next week
You may not be able to set the fashions
in male attire, but you can fill your
soul with nameless Joy and an exalt-
alton of celestial birth, and climb to
the top of high Olympus, and lean back
and pile your feet on the sofa and make
yourself easy with the immortal gods,
by paying your landlady every Satur-
day and keeping even with your tailor
You may never be the Washington cor
respondent of society paper, but then
your hair won turn white in the ago
nized effort to explain what it is abouta
senator's wife, who has red hair,
freckles, no upper teeth, hair wart on
her nose, and twang in her shrill
voice, that ''makes her so be-
witchingly beautiful and univer-
sally admired" just be diligent in
your own business, and wait in patience
for the reward of your diligence. 1t
may be a little slow in coming. The
mills of the gods grind slowly, so does
a hand-organ on the Last Rose of
Summer stop, but it always gets there.
And don't pay more for the reward than
the reward is worth. A man who lives
on twenty nine cents a day will be apt
to die wealthy, but he won't die very
fat. 1t is the liberal soul that shall be
made fat.
AND HAVE ONE TO MIND.
Again, my hearers, you will observe
that the eXaltation is promised the man
who is diligent in business. Then
man or woman who labors diligently
for. years, until the ability to write
forty-four chapters of the Bible on a
postal card does not stand before Kings
because that sort of thing isn't bust
ness. The man who spends all his life
| trying to invent a perpetual motion
machine has nothing to do with bust
ness. The Inventor" so to speak, of
the Kelley motor will not stand before
Kings; he will not even stand before
his own stockholders, although they
| have often tried to get behind him.
The man who is diligent in construct
ing one hundred and. nine sentences
and three hundred and fourteen words
out of ''Constantinople" will not stand
anywhere save at the head of the
spelling class, and even there he is in
danger of denunciation and overthrow
by the ''speling re4rm acociachin."
The man who diligently educates his
feet until he can waltz an hour and
seventy eight minutes without stopping,
does not stand before Kings, because
''as snow in summer, and as rain in har-
vest, so honor is not seemly for "a man
who wears his brains in his shoes.
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS.
1t seems to me, beloved, that the sue
cess of the dilligent people who stand
before Kings of various degree, is in a
measure due to their successful dill
gence, and furthermore, this successful
diligence indicates the existence of GER
tain qualities essential to success. True,
there are Captains who creep in through
the cabin windows and there are Gen
erals unfit to be Sergeants, but these
pampered pets of unjust favoritism do
| not "stand' before Kings; they bow
and crouch before them. But when one
| is successful in spite of adverse criticism
and sharp competition, am inclined to
| think there must be some reason for
his success. You ask me, for instance,
what is the secret of Mrs. Langtry' 5
success? Well, | think it is her success.
Dat e4tIal>s.,e,- tyvantSy ecirla in
Brooklyn more beautiful than She" |
don't doubt it, l think there are twenty
one. And ''they are more gifted, and
blessed with better education?' Yes,
know that. "And their social position
is higher?" l should say so. my
brother "And they have greater his
trionic talent?" Indeed they have;
agree with YOU. ''They can act all
around her?" OF course, they can.
"And they ought to have her place on
the American stage?" Well, then, why
don't they have it?
Is SUCCESS.
Verify, beloved, when people talk like
that, and often they do, begin to be-
lieye that none but unsuccessful peo-
pie succeed in this country. As ]
wander up and down the land [ find
about all the real talent and merit in
the back seats, picking up scanty
crumbs that fall from the groaning
tables of successful pretenders, while
the sad, voiceless spirit of justice sits on
| the front fence and broods with a ten
der mystery over the devious ways of
man and the uncertain favors of tickle
fortune and pitiless fate.
UNSEEN BLUsHEs.
hS|IGclS u NHIiSc uO enter DuJ the
villagers proudly point out for my adj
miration a young man WHO'S ''funnier"
that ever Mark Twain dared to be.
Many of Twain's best Jokes, indeed,
they assure me, were stolen bodily from
young "Funniboy." Why, he keeps
the debating society in u roar of laugh
ter all the time he is on his feet. He is
called ''The Artemus Ward of Gullivan
County" and the NOrthweStern Bun1-
blej0hn has predicted for him a future
equal to none. l have been introduced
in nearly every State in the Union. and
usually, too, in the smaller towns, some
distance from any railroad, to ministers
of the gospel who could preach the
boots off Mr. Beecher; who were more
original, more eloquent, possessing a
keener faculty of observation and a
happier vein of humor and more fertile
and felicitous in illustration. And they
resembled Mr.. Beecher, too, their
friends told me. And so they did. |
could see that for myself. They wore
soft felt hats and long hair. And in
some instances / learned that Mr..
Beecher resembled and copied the viii
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