Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-08-02
BREAKING A COLT.
from the Texas Siftings.l

BREAKING A COLT.
from the Texas Siftings.l
Smith had a colt to break, a httl
roam, half Mustang and half Morgan
He told his wife that there was no sens
in beating a colts ribs in to break it
He had been reading s'Rarey on Train
ing Horses" and told his wife to com
out in the barn-yard and see how b,
with kindness could master a colt. Thu
colt was easily bridled and would Leaf
anywhere. Some old harness was gent
". laid across its back; and though
trife scared and it put on its Sunday
prance, it worked eighteen carats fine
Smith was delighted. He took off thu
harness and told his wife he was goins
to ride it.. She gave a little scream
and pleaded with him to wait till to.
morrow.
ssNever put off till tomorrow wha1
ought to have been done Yesterday
said Smith, trying to be funny. "Wom
en- are all right in their place, !! allus
said, but when q man is breakln' s
mustang Morgan, silence is a reg'lal
Comstock mine." At this juncture thu
colt stepped on his foot.
ssGoldang your eternally dOdblasted
feet. Amt Their room in this hull barn
ward fer them internal talens of yOurn,
heh?' and he gave the colt a slap in the
neck, and backed and pulled to get hi
foot out.
"Kindness, John, Kindness" said hif
wife, mildly.
"Lookahere Susan J. Smith, I want
to know who is breakin' this here
colt" he said, in a tone of forced,
calmness. 81 suggest that Pm break
in this-this measley mustang"
"Did it hurt, dear?"5
"Oh, no, no, it was perfectly delight.
full; never had anything to feel 80 good
in my life," he replied, with infinite
sarcasm. az suppose if this barn'd
fall down OH me Td hear We a cooin'
through the fence: Did it hurt, dear?'
Some women are born handsome an
some amt got any sense. I've seed
lots o. handsome women in my time,
but Pm not acquainted with any at
present. and with this annihilating +
mark he turned to the colt.
He made a leap and got on the colts
back. There was a movement Of legs,
and Smith was sitting on air for a sec
ond and then tumbled headlOng into
the fence corner. -
"Ohl OIL" screamed his wife.
"Oh, what% said Smith, getting up
and trying to look unconcerned, while
he wiped the blood off his ear.
ri thought that-that," faltered his
wife. Aa4
Twill you state to the audience,your
valuable thought I'll get'im framed.
Never wanted anything since l was
born SO bad. Did We think I didn't git
off on purposes May be you thought
that colt throwed me. Do you spOse
I've monkeyed round horses long as l
haye to let q little calf like that throw
me 2" he roared. "Susan j Smith what'd
I marry ye fer? 1 tell yer to yer teeth
1 got off. Lots of consolation 1 can
get frum a woman chatterin' away at
q man like a guinea hen. No wonder
the colt is scared. Poor colty, poor
colty, come now" and the colt follow
ed as meekly as a lamb. "May be you
wouldn't get on the colt, Susie DEAR"
and he looked very hard at his wife.
"Would you, SusieE" he drawled, in
killing irony.
stJOhn, please don't get off so quick
this time, and-and-if you have to get
off very quick, please get off further
away from the fence" said his wife, in
a scared way.
Smith got On. determined to stick or
die. A few people may have an idea
what a Mustang Morgan can do, but
the majority of humanity will remain
in sublime ignorance till time is no
more. 1t went every possible direction
except straight ahead, and made every
possible motion except a decent me-.
Smith stuck well; SO did the colt. The
wife remembering her bread in the
oven, returned, and an hour later came
out on the field of. conflict, and saw
her husband still making WIS in the air.
The barn-yard was all plowed up.
'sSuse, Suse," he called out between
the bucks, "make my will. Tell Jim
to bring out the gum" The bucking
quite furious now. "Tell the
I died game" he called out,
trying to get his wife excited. "It's
me or the colt, and it's nip and tuck,
with the chances in. favor of the colt"
Suddenly the colt walked straight
ahead in a peaceable manner. Smith
came riding up to the fence, his face
dirty as a fireman's and his ear still
bleeding.
"Talk about breakin' a colt with
kindness, woman. If l had Rarey here
shoot the eternal daylights out'n
m. A colt wants to be killed, killed,
dye hear?". He got off and struck it
in the flank with his fist. Quick as
lightning the colt wheeled and kicked
him through the fence.
"Oh," screamed his wife; "are you
"Oh, no, Susie; Pm not hurt. Pm
killed; that's ALL" he said, in a
weak voice. eff you amt tired, Mrs.
you might get me a little cold
water. just a little bit; wouldn't have
you strain, yourself for anything"
When his wife returned he was stand
ing by the fence, very pale and weak.
'th you will return, Mrs. S., and
bring me the gun, Fu kill something.
Blood has to be spilled now. I'll wipe
this out with gore; the reddest kind of
gore. What r You standin' there for,
starin' at me like a lunatic asylum?
May be you'd like to be kicked through
a f~ourteen-rail fence, or a barn, Or
suthin'r"
"Oh, John, dear, there's some horrid
blood on your ear. Oil" and she
threw her apron over her head.
son my ear? My boots is full of
blood. l tell ye I'm killed, killed,
killed." he spelled. "Let me give
you a pointer, Mrs. Smith," he said, as
he hobbled to the house; elf you want
to die, die hard, die all over, you Just
get kicked through a %fourteen-rail fence
bv a mustang Morgan. If you want to
be all angel, an lie by still waters, try
this %eternally dod- blasted colt of mine."
GRAMMATICAL ITEM
Gen. Logan, who was busily engaged
in writing a private letter, turned to
Blaine, who was trying to put on his
boot, and said: