The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-12-25
FRoLics OF A FATHER.

FRoLrcs OF A FATHER.
Solid Comfort Taken By Young Married
Man While Inducing to slumber His
First Born Son and Heir.
Having settled themselves at table
in Toms back room the young man
proceeded:
* Just had rich time until that boy
of mine was three weeks old. Then the
nurse left, and my wife said Icould just
as well help her as not, and l was only
too tickled to be able to do something
to make myself useful. We had no crib
for the youngster then, and he slept
with us, between his mother and me.
/ was cautioned not to roll on him in
the night. and tried hard to keep still,
but l hadn't been asleep more'n a min
ute when my wife dug me in the ribs
and yelled: Get up! you're lying on
Adolphus.' got up, moved over into
my place, and tried to sleep, but l got
on the baby again, and finally wrapped
myself in a blanket and spent the rest
of the night on the floor. The next day
1 got crib. Then my real trouble be-
gan. The boy would be fed and put in
to the crib, and I'd turn in. My pleas
ant dreams would flee as the plaintive
yell of that youth cut the air and struck
me with the energy of a steam hammer.
Aided by gentle push from my bettef
hall, I'd climb out. pick up the boy.
and. clad in the clinging folds of a
night-shirt and pair of slippers, I'd sit
me down to WOO the gentle god of slum-
Der on my sons account. This attempt
at wooing the gentle god is the direct
cause of the ruin you see before you,
Just the minute l picked the baby from
his bunk he stop yelling and look at
me in wide-eyed surprise and seem to
say: Where in thunder did you drop
fromp' Then, as sat down and tried
to get him comfortably balanced on one
of my knees, he'd begin clawing the
air and grunting contentedly. About
this time set my foot in motion, trot!
trot! and accompanied it with Sc
ductive 'sh-h--h-h, th-ere-e-e
that l hoped would soon lull him to
sleep. But nary lull. He'd look at me,
sm;le-his grandmother says it's collie
that makes him smile-and then take
in the furniture piece by piece, and stare
stupidity at the dimly burning gas-iet.
He was perfectly cool about all this.
Nothing was done in haste. Each pict-
ure, chair, ornament, would receive a
minute inspection from these wide
opened blue eyes, and your humble
servant kept digging away at the trot.
trot! and 'sh-h-h' scheme all the
while. Suddenly there would be slow
closing of the little white lids and the
blue eyes were hidden. Aha! Now he
was going to sleep. At last! And l d
work the trot! trot! with renewed Wig
or. Then he'd sigh tired little sigh,
and when was sure he was fast asleep
I'd start to lay him back in his crib.
But just as l would loan over to lay
him down he d open his eyes, coo hap
PLY, and seem to say: oh, I'm not
asleep; I was just having some fun
with YOU and there was nothing to
do but to take him back to the
chair and begin tho whole business
over again. Another three-quarters of
an hour would drag YEARLY by, and a
second time the baby's eyes would close
and sleep appear to have come at last.
How carefully I'd sneak over to the
crib and gently lay him on his Little
quilt. How tenderly I'd tuck him'in
and wish that he'd sleep for week or
more to give me chance to catch up on
what I'd lost. He doesn't move, and
tip-toe to the bed that had known so
little of ME for some time. / sneak in
under the covers, stretch myself, think
there never was anything so comfort
able as that bed, and close my eyes for
a refreshing nap. when there comes
from the crib suspicious grunt, fol-
lowed by string of spasmodic coughs
and an unmistakable yell. Painfully l
climb out of the restful bed. snatch that
infant from his downy couch and quiet
him with the same old trot! trot! trot,
while the chill night breezes float
through the open window, and play
peek-a-boo with my modest knees under
the tapping flap of my night-shirt.
This has been my nightly programme
for about two weeks, and you see the
result before you. l haven't slept TWEEN.
~ consecutive minutes in twenty con-
secutive. days. You said something
about having comfort with that boy. ]
fondly hoped I'd get it. I'm still hop
ing" And the gloomy look again stole
over the face of the happy father. His
eyes gazed vacantly into space as he
mechanically made his way to the door,
and with shutting. uncertain step, he !
tottered away.-Chicago Tribune.