Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-06-05
A Familiar Street Scene.

A teamster with load of wood went
up the avenue, and blithely did he
crack his whip DER the horses stanch
and true. They turned into an alley
way with this heavy wooden load when
the wheels did sink into the hubs in
the muddy alley road. Cit up!' the
teamster shouted loud go it while
you're young" and the steady brutes
did churn the mud, each side the Wag-
on tongue. ''She hove and sot, !" the
wagon did, as once poet sung, 'and
every time she hove and sor q wusser
leak she sprung" SO Jared it with
this load of wood as near as one could
Judge, the more the horses Glove the
mud the more it wouldn't bulge. And
then began the crowd to come, first
| (always) the small bow, and teamsters
stopped on Jefferson the struggle to
enjoy, and youngsters all along the
walk the woodman to annoy. A butch
er cart, a passing cab, n wagon full of
stoves, buggy and grocery rig, with
soap and flour and cloves. There
stopped man on business bent;
doctor to his gig; the avenue was soon
| filled up with every kind of rig. AS
Oliver Wendell Holmes once said, if
martyr one would burn, some man
from out the crowd would know how
to roast him to q turn, probably from
restaurant, posted on well-done
steaks. That man is sure to be on
hand and all directions takes. why
don't you whip your horse up? Why
don't you haw or gee? Come, wake
up, ancient Stick-in- the-mud, or leave
I l. Al
ped his horses up; and the teamster
geed and hawed. But the load of wood
was there for good, and there it stood,
saying it would (not) Come into the
garden, Maud" The gathering crowd
never offered TO help, but gave advice
instead, while the painting horses stood
and pulled and the driver scratched his
| head. He would look on this side then
on that, then gather up each rein, then
shout, rave, fume swear and try it on
again, and all the while the crowd did
| jeer and scatter round advice, but the
wagon wheels stayed where they were
as if within a wise. Come down from
off the load of woodr' Let's rescue
'em all in boatsr' ooh, put your
| shoulder to the wheel!n Say! Give
EN- feed of oatsr Then someone took
another team and hitched it in the
rear, then both teams pulled in oppo-
site ways while the crowd did scott
and jeer. Having gazed at port and
starboard wheel. full fifty times or
more, the driver then began to do what
he should have done before-throw off
the cordwood stick by stick, and as he
worked he swore. And all the while
| the heartless mob fired off the ancient
joke as how the wheels could silent be,
when all of them had spoke; that
wheels and horses both were tired,
they spoke with Vaughn tongue; that
the muddy team would be admired,
and thus the changes rung; that the
wagon surely would 90 off, if he
thought it wasn't loaded, and mention
ed the labor of the man as the work
the old scare-crow did. At last adown
the alley of mud two teams pulled the
wagon along, and thus the end of the
tragedy there brings with it the end of
the song. AS the teamster looked at
the scattered cord the crowd gave him
parting sally: See, your sticks are
all scattered promiscuous around-set
'em up in another alley !'-Detro5t
Free Press.