Connecticut western news., 1884-12-24
WIT AND WISDOM.


 ouR liberty bell--the belle of the kitchen.
 LEAVES fall slowly, but fall leaves rap- idly.
 TRxnE is not moment without some duty.
 WHEN choosing a wife choose one of small waste
 To KErr a friend is a harder matter than to get friend.
 GRAY hairs are 10 be respected every where, except in soup.
 IN preaching 10 starvelings do not make gluttons your text HE that buys and lies shall And the lie left in his purse behind.
 THERE is no disease so dangerous as the want of common sense.
 A PHILOSOPHER is one who unfinoh- ingly ''accepts tho situation"
 To COUNT but few things necessary Is the foundation of many virtues.
 WITHOUT economy none can be riohi with economy few need be poor. TIE man who has no poetry in bis soul never fiuds it anywhere else.
 IT is enjoying, and not merely the possessing, that makes us happy.
 'Do TAKE some moro vegetables, MT. Jones, for they go to the pigs anyhow. By general mistake, i'll nature as oiton passes for wit as cunning does for wis dom.
 TIE present weather tells the farmer who has steers to shed, to shed them now.
 TIE Buffalo style of preparing for cholera is to increase the vital statistics force. THAT something which prompts a man to lie, if stronger, would prompt him to steal. s NATURE has sometimes made a fool, but coxcomb is always of mans own making.
 IT is easier for a woman 10 return kindness than a oopper-bottomed pre- serve kettle. Puck.
 How IT comes to us in silont hours that truth is our only armor in all passn- ges of life and death
 Ir is liberally remarked that the chief expense of the cowboys at the st Louis convention was for horns.
 "Ir's easy enough after you get your hand in, was the reply of the criminal with the letters on his wrists.
 AN exchange asks how to remove paint. We have found that coat sleeve will remove a great deal of it.
 A VOLUME has lately been published on 'rWhat to Wear" Now what wa want is sequel, entitled "How to Pro cure It.
 "wHAr do our daughters mood ?" asks a writer. Well, wo have como Co tho conclusion that they. need about ovory- thing under the sun--except bread.
 A NEW HAVEN lady, having noticed . gentleman acquaintance standing in fixed position in book and paper storo recently, entered the store and asked him if he was stationery.
 A RECENT Ohio paper contained the following advertisement: "A citizen wishes to find the sum of $50. 900. If any one will tell him where to And it, he will give him half of the money"
 He put on the rollers at seven,
 And before the clock sounded eleven
 His feet they were flying
 As if he were trying
 To kick out the blue dome Of heaven
 --Norrisioten Herald.
 IN the year 2io0, Joseph Cook says tho population of this country will bc 8, 200, GOO, GOO. Those who contemplate going to the circus that year will do well to purchase tickets at the down town . fiice and avoid the rush at the wagon.
 MR. HRNpRoKs kissed torty-ai1 young women of St. Marys, Ohio, the other day. They were members of a Cleve- land and Hendricks Broom Brigade. Now they want to go to Washington on inauguration day and be kissed by Mir. Cleveland.
 "ToM, why did you not marry Miss c. ?" "oh, she had a sort of hesiianoy in her speech, and SO left hor." "A hesitancy in her speech I never heard that before Are you not mistaken 2" "No, not at all; for whom asked her Co have me, she hesitatod to say 'Yos.'" Miss PRErrYrERT: "why don't you come over with your sisters Co our place, Johnnie ?" Johnnie (rising ten)' "well, it's like this, yFnow, Miss Prettypert Where there's a ripping nice girl like you, if came often people might think had intentions, and I'm not marrying man" ''IM glad those stuok.up French wo- men are going to have some rivals in this country" remarked Mrs. Basoom. ''I nm sick and tired reading about Madame , so.and-sos salon, and it does mo good 10 notice by this paper that Columbus, Ohio, widow has opened Q saloon in that city. ."-Bwlinoton Frcc Prsss.
 LITTLE boy, said gentleman, ''why do you carry that umbrella over your head It's not raining" "Nop" "And the sun is not shining" "Nop" "Ther why do you carry it2" "Cause wher it rains pa wants 4, and when the sur shines ma wants it, an it's only whor it's this kinder wodder that kin git tol use it at all"