The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-05-28
A Night in the Boot With a Hard Hat.
BY L. w. P.

The trip across the ferry and up the
Benton coulee was made without Incl
dent of note. At this point Gus, with
his usual good nature, started upon a
discussion of the relative merits of the
nigh wheeler and the off leader, which
lasted for three hours, more or less. AT
ter dinner the points, good and other
wise, of the eating places We're taken
up, the pros and cons presented to the
Jury, who, after some deliberation,
agreed to disagree" After two hours
expended in this profitable manner
thirty seconds were used in an exhaust
i've symposium upon abstruse problems
of politics and religion, and then by
easy stages we drifted into the question,
Where is the best place to sleep on a
coach? Gus believed it was in the front
boot. AS had already tried sleeping
upon sundry and divers occasions inside
the coach and had become practical
adept in the "elastic, gymnastic, self
returning ball' trick from one corner of
the coach to the other and back again,
and as experience has made me perfect
in the rocket act Of starting from the
back seat, flying to the roof seeing the
many colored stars shoot in every direc-
ton at the time of explosion, and re-
turning nothing but broken reed with
a lasting impression of the ribs of the
roof in mind and skull and also as |
had believed at times when in a peace
full doze that / had suddenly joined the
circus and was making the leap from
the spring board over the backs of two
elephants. three camels and fourteen
horses to the mattress on the front seat
| concluded it was high time for the
show to add fresh novelties in the way
of new songs and dances, with some
thing startling in the contortion line, all
of which I hoped to find in the boot.
At Cora creek Gus went over the side
and new pilot came on the ship. Our
good ship has her rudder in front and
the pilot steers with leather lines. The
trip over the Rocky Ridge was made
safely, although there was quite chop
sea- at the time, which rendered it
quite disagreeable for those of the pas
sengers who were subject to sea sickness.
We made Stanford at 10 p. M, entering
that quiet haven under cold and clear
sky with the moon just making her ap-
pearance above the eastern hills.
After good, hot supper we weighed
anchor and shaped our course for the
Judith Basin. The pilot Informed me
that my stateroom in the fo'castle was
ready any time that might wish to re-
tire. Drawing aside the leather hatch,
seizng my robe and blanket, and con-
vulsively grabbing firm hold on my
stiff hat, [ slid down the companion
way into the darkness below. By the
faint rays of the moon that found their
way in through the skylight saw that
my room was some four feet long, three
feet wide and three feet high, and that
it was furnished with bed consisting
of half filled mail sack and a wash
stand made up of a case OF condensed
milk with water pail standing upon It,
went all over the room examining the
walls thoroughly, but could find nc nail
upon which to hang my hat. There
seemed to be no clothes press nor closet
of any sort--in short, no accommoda-
ton for my hard hat.
There was a very heavy sea rolling at
the time, the water pail was dancing
the German on the milk box and did
not seem inclined to hold the hat under
any circumstances. It was the only
place, however. as there was no room
for it under the bed, so depositing it
carefully under the pail. and doubling
myself up after the fashion of the man
who pulls, heaves or who makes the first
motion in rowing in race boat, i'm
plored the god Of sleep to close my
weary eyes. profoundly plying, mean
while, those poor folks who had no boot
to sleep in. Many people believe that
we are not responsible for our own
dreams. However that may be under
ordinary circumstances, no one will
deny that it must be true under the
conditions in which was placed. I
dreamed that was in the bad lands of
the Musselshell and saw the best dressed