The daily Cairo bulletin., 1884-03-25
WIT AND HCNOR.

Social precedence is rapidly becom-
'n- t4r great and absorbing question in
Washington II any of these s,icklers
20 90 heaven, what Q wrctched time
they viii have, -RJchgstsr D5nl0cra
".Ils' and, you'll have to 90 and
call that boy yourself. | can't make
him let UP. He sleeps as if he were n
log "On, wei, Maria, the boy can't
help it. It's fate lie was born to be
q policeman
Victim Go dcnt.sD-"Good heavens!
man. that is the second sound tooth
YOU have pullri.n Dentist Go vctim)
i beg Your pardon, sir, but as you
Lad only three when | commenced |
think | shall make no mistake this
time
Old gentleman Cooking at very
boJ-tailcd horsc): Bless me! How
short thew have cut his tall Attend
ant: His master is q member OF the
Society for the Protection Of Animals,
sir. In this fashion he will not annoy
the poor flies.
1t is sight worthy Of an artists
crHyon to see woman, while talking
through telephone to her grocer three
miles away, stamping her little foot
aud shaking her fist rs though the poor
man was quailmg right before her
YOHterS Statcsmaa.
Trust men and they will be true to
Won" says Emerson. We showed this
to "a respectable grocer He grew iivid
with rage, seized a club, and wanted
to know where that Emerson fellow
lived. There was mischief in that gro
GERS eye We did not tell him.
Postal regulations; Abigail-What!
half these letters again for Miss Fanny
and not one for me? Postman Qiibcr-
nian)-Ay course not Do you think
me so name as to be bringin' ye letters
from another gentleman. and | killen
myself comm to see We every morning
this whole month past, darlin'?
a Grass Valley man has four trained
frogs that sing the Sweet Bye and
Bye." A little marsh frog is the tenor,
n biz bullfrog is the basso, and the So
prano and alto were imported from
sacramento. AS soon as the owner
teaches them one or two new songs he
intends to travel through California ex-
hibiting them.
DR.. Y goes to restaurant with a
friend, and orders bottle of wine.
Shortly after he is called away for
moment, and the friend accosts the
waiter: Fine brand of wine that is.
Waiter-"Ah, yes, but by no means our
best. You ought TO try some of the
kind the Doctor always orders when he
comes here alone. .'-FHegende Blatter.
A country gentleman who recently
preached in an Austin church is an ad-
mirer of the writings of Charles Dick
ems, and quotes from his novels almost
as often as he does from the Bible. He
surprised his congregation by winding
up gorgeous peroration with: cit is
thus you see, my brethren, as the
Scriptures say, 'Barkis is wilin', but
the flesh is weak. "-7e1as SytingS.
GLOW is this, Minnie," asked one
Marathon girl of another "Iou have
asked all these folks to your party that
you scarcely speak to and left out some
of your most intimate friends. "Oh,
that's all right. I'm practicing up on
cooking, and am going to bake the
cake for the party myself. don't
want to kill any of my friends. y
Marathon Independent.
Some genius has invented thermo-
meter whereby a man can regulate the
temperature to suit himself This is
an admirable thing, for, with one of
those machines in his pocket, man
can defy the extremes. When the
temperature slides down below zero,
all ne has to do is to pull out his little
thermometer, give it n twist up into