Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
Canada Linen.

It sometimes takes good joke long
time to leak out, but it is almost sure to-
find daylight sometime. There is a
gentleman living in Des MoineS whose
home at one time was in New York. He
used to 90 over to Canada once in
awhile to see the country, visit friends
and probably eat peaches. On one OF
his trips he saw some very fine sh;r:s
the price Of which tempted him great
ly to invest. He thought over his ward
robe at home very carefully, and ls
nearly as he could figure it concluded
he needed half dozen shirts. These
were the ones to buy he thought, be-
cause they were of the lest quality and
make and the price extremely low. He
purchased. and after getting the arti-
Giles on his hand, began to wonder how
he would get them home and not have
the sharp eye of the officers see them
A happy thought struck him. He went
to hotel and began to put the articles
on. OF course he had one on to COM
mence with. He measured the new
ones, but found they did not go in sizes,
80 that one fit into the other. but were
about equal in the amount of cloth used
in the makeup. He began like a man
getting ready for lightning changes.
Number one went on very easily. The
next was little closer fit. The third
was closer call. The fourth tried the
strength of the cloth and thread, as
well as the temper of the fellow getting
inside of so much linen. Getting the
fifth one on, he tugged, the perspira-
ton rolled of his face, and ran down
his back, and lie kicked and scrambled
and paved the air like drowning man
catching at straws. When he got in
side he looked like the last rose OF sum.
mer, of the red variety, in full bloom.
Five shirts were disposed Of. but the
sixth lay on the back of the chair, wait.
ing to be claimed.
Our friend wished some one would
come and claim it. He did not know
what to do until thought struck him
again. He concluded to pass himself
of for an Alderman, and knowing that
a well filed vest was necessary he took
the sixth shirt, folded it up carefully
and laid it away inside of his vest and
the upper part Of his pantaloons. Fixed
up in true Aldermanc style, he started
for the United States. The custom
house officer eyed him closely on the
Canada side, but he got through on his
dignified app arance. When he struck
the custom house on this side he knew
the officer. AMI was not quite so careful.
He walked up and down the office. and
begun to think he might be genuine
New York Alderman. The custom
officer finally sided no to him and said:
''You had better 60 and sit down."
why" he asked, with some divinity.
thinking he knew when to sit down.
Look at the bottom of your pants,
said the officer. He looked, and there
dragging on the floor was about hall
the sleeve of the sixth shirt hunting
daylight. He sat down without wait
ing for a reserved seat, and tucked the
sleeve inside his boot top. The cigars
cost more than twice what the duty
would have been.-IosDd State Register.
The salmon fisheries of Scotland.
hitherto very valuable. are threatened
with destruction. It has been officially
announced that one thousand six hun
dred diseased salmon were taken out Of
the River Tay alone during the months
of November and. December. The dis
ease has spread with alarming rapidity.
OF the fish taken from the river during
tho fret wook ~ January thirty neY