West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-06-27
WANTED, A WIFE.

Jack Horribly, of Brazenface College.
Oxford, had Just finished his usual after
breakfast pipe, on the last day of the
summer term, 1880, when his attention
was arrested by sharp rap at his door
Immediately followed by the entrance
OF the well-drcssed person of his college
friend, Methven.
Come along in said Hornby, land
light yourself a pipe"
NO, thank ye, cant STOP replied
Methven, las | have lot to do this
morning; but i thought | would lust
run across and tell YOU n bit of news. |
nave gust arranged a glorious hoax, at
the expense, need hardly say, of old
Croiton. He has become too cnte late
~ to be caught by our old time honored
Jokes, and so | have arranged the fol-
lowing plan: a week ago | inserted i'm
the agony column of the MOrHing .1d-
rertiScr a glowing matrimonial adver-
tSement, in which | stated that the adj
Vertlser, who was handsome, rich and
all that sort of thing, desired to meet
with pretty and accomplished Girl
with view to matrimony. All appli
cants were to send their photographs:
the replies to be sent to III. c., No. l5l
ri. Giles, Oxford that's the house
where my scout lives, and so, of course.
told him TO bring me any letters thus
addressed. | got no reply for day or
SOC but four days ago | received n letter
from certain damsel. who described
herself as young, handsome and accom-
pllshcd, inclOSed me the photograph of
a very pretty girl, ended bv asking
me when and where / should meet her
in town, and signed herself Miss l.. Ber-
nard, Piccadilly Circus Post-oflice; She
also expressed a desire to have the adj
vertiser's photograph, so | promptly
sent her that OF old Crofton, which hc
had lately given me, and said | would
write tonight when and where / shouid
meet her; so my scheme is. TO somehow
induce Crofton to meet this girl: she
VIII OF course recognize him by the
photograph / have sent. will probably
rush into his arms, the kangaroo will
be utterly overpowered, and there will
Toe an interesting dcHOUemcnt. Now.
iorhoy' don't YOU think that mag
nilicent piece of strategy"
No, indeed, 1 don't" said Hornbv:
Il think II is an internal shame: and
what 5 more ! have half mind TO 90
ana tell the kangaroo of the hoax"
ION. come now said Methven.
You d never do that, Jack. ! know.
Wen. can't stay airy longer so good
bye for the present
There is not the very slightest doubt
that II the fatc- had not interviewed.
Hornby would haze gone straight to
'roijon and warned him Of the impend-
ing hoaN' and this story would never
nave been written; but. rs it happened.
no sooner had Methyen gone out Of
lIBWnFft'- room 49,.
rotary If the College Cricket Climb In "a
state of GREATNESS anxiety. there was /,
match at 1880 il was now eleven
clock, and he could get together onl,.
eight men. So HOrnby was prouptI,,
enlisted, and by the time the match was
over Methven and his scheme had on
iirely faded from his not too retentive
memory. Mcthven, I'M the meantime.
had gone straight TO CrOfton's rooms
now, TINS CrOftOu, who was about to
IAN victim 30 Nethven'- wile. uas
me son Of large Australian sheen
FARMER, and had come up 10 Brszen-
face the previous October Like p,.,
coipuist, who have not been 10 scbo.I
in England he was very simple and up
sophisticated and though the kap0aroo
he was generally called. was yrr,.
popular ho was constantly being made
the victim Of small practical Jokes. mo h
OF which were originated by Metbyou
who was the professional boayor al
hraleniace. lie always foroave fbrm
heartily and Joined in the LAUGH him
sell However bis one wears resi-
deuce I'M college had opened Dis ewes "a
mule. and being naturally anything bur
fool. bis friends found 10 not quite %
easy 20 take him boo now, as it used 10
oe and scvera. attempts having lately
faued. MethfrD. 20 sustain lis dwin.
ding reputation as a Joker. had con
cootfd the plan be- had lust disclosed to
Hornhy He found the GENIAL Giant
ous iy packing his traps ready fox como,
down the ueEt day After cbafffrg e
moment or two the tempter began
'As you're going ~ town tomorrow
want you 20 do me q little favor T
promised ~ meet girl, = cousin If
NINE. tomorrow We each had cot
an order for the HDu Of Common.
and J was ~ have escorted her. and y
we meant ~ have a litt.e lunch Together
~ Lucas before we went in we had .,r
ranged ~ meet ~ q quarter past two ~
we Westm D.ter Bridge landing p..r
ma, beng place where we cou dl tD..s-
si0lv miss each other Vow. bad init
VIII have % the dean has sent for mo to-
see him after collections. 20 that can't
Jet thc girl know, because she's ay,ay
on VISIT for dav OF two ~ some
trends. whose allrp.. f .st-r f,r,,,.tf,..