The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-04-19
DO PLANTS THINK?

u
Professor Riley, whose speciality is
Entomology, and who is now, or was
recently, an ornament OF the Agri.
cultural Bureau q: Washington, has
asked the question: do Plants
Think"
We have given the subject much
consideration, and have come to the
conclusion that they do q powerful
lot more thinking then the world
gives them credit for.
For instance, the swell, when he
enters the establishment OF the florist
to buy corsaee-bouquet for his lady
love, and gets Jacquemipot roses,
might, If his bearing were acute
enough, have his tympani tiekled
with such remarks as these:
well. amt you sweet pill to
have us taken out OF our comfortable
ice-bed2 And for whom do you want
us? What kind of girl is it? Dare
cay she is scrsggy blonde with a
freck ed lace an6 her bones sticking
out like the ribs of q wrecked UNI
brella. Wonder how you raised the
money to pay seven.y-fve cents
apiece for us? Now, il the young
women is a pretty brunette, and red
roses suit her Style. we've nothing
more to say. Well try TO look our
best when she fastens US TO her waist.
But no such luck. You're a swell,
and have DO taste, and all our beauty
will be wasted on any one of your
choice; but you've got US where our
stems are eho.t, and can't help our
Selves"
Then imagine the thoughts OF the
lettuce when it is being made into a
salad at cheap restaurant.
81 don't object to being eaten. /
known Pm grown for that purpose
it has been the business of our family;
but don't want rank cotton-seed-oil
poured over me as substitute for the
best olive article. When this is be-
ing done. l feel disgraced and humili-
sted."
There must be also sense of humor
left in some OF the plants. even when
all their native freshness has been
dried or squeezed out of them. You
can almost hear the subdued laugh
ter of Eve cent Cigar while it is be-
ing smoked by a young man who
imagines be is enjoying a genuine
Havana.
"If you only knew" the cigar will
think to itself: "You paid thirty
cents for me. Pm not worth five
cents. I was not even Manufactured
in Connecticut. I am made of pure
Long Island old cabbage.leaves.
Perhaps it is better to be smoked by
you than to be served up with corned-
beef on Saturday in q boarding
house."
But it is when plants are in their
native wilds that they think more
freely. Indeed. they have been
known to talk and carry on long CON-
versations, sometimes winding up in
blows. Small flowers often shoN q
prodigious amount OF pluck. 4 daisy
that grew near pine annoyed the
larger vegetable production by the
airs it gave itself. At last the pine
could stand it no longer.
'You miserable little creature, If
you don't cease hooking me, I'll
haul you out of the ground!"
Don't" returned the daisy, put
ting its finger to it's nose: you might
hurt yourself. Why might you hurt
yourself? Why, because you can not
reach me-"
Cant, eh?" reto.ted the pine,
bending down in the direction OF the
concsited little flower IS low ss il con-
venientiy could and the wind would
permit it: whats the use of you,
anyway? You amt any value at all.
A ferist wouldn't give five cents for g
ton OF you"
81 like that. do. You're burnt
up as soon as you're turned into tim
Der. and If you are not burned. you'r re
made into collins and put under
ground to rot-ha! hal-while nice
little children gather me. and some
times . pretty blue damsel kisses me
and sticks me in the body of her
dress, and"
At this moment q Vasasr girl. with
spectAcles and q red ribbon around
her hat, on botsnizing expedition
in the White Mountains, plucked the
daisy and cut short its remarks.