Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-10-23
CHOOSING A HUSBAND.

It is not, of course, every girl who has the
power of choosing husband in the sense of
selecting and appropriating the one among
her male acquaintances who pleases her
best. 1t is not natural that she should do
this, and when nature is not followed there
is generally disastrous ending. 1t is true
that love sometimes begets love; but, on the
other hand, nothing is more likely to check
it than too ready response in its early
stages. If mans love is genuine, if he is
not deceiving himself in fancying he has an
affection which he does not really feel, he
wants no encouragement beyond the ordi-
merry conduct which politeness and good
feeling dictate. If, without any further en-
couragement, love dies away it is pretty
certain that it had very weak roots. II a
proposal comes before a girl has allowed
herself to believe that little attentions Of
fered to her had any special meaning-be-
fore she has permitted her feelings to shape
themselves as they might have done-nO
harm will follow. 1t is unfair to expect
that girl should be ready to yield the
moment the word is spoken, and yet be
ready to 60 her own way, without any cause
of compliant if the word is not spoken. No
sensible man, no man whose affection is
worth retaining, is driven away by being
told by the lady of his choice that she likes
come to love him, but that her heart is not
yet his. If he really loves her he will come
back again, and it is pretty certain that he
will learn before a second asking whether
his affection is returned or not. But girl,
if she cannot always choose, can always re-
fuse, and generally her difficulty is this-it
is evident that this man is making love to
me, do not love him, but think might
do so if / choose, shall l choose or shall l
forbear? It is here that the power of choice
comes in; it is here that the voice of pru-
dence must be heard, if it is to be heard at
all. In such circumstances a girl will act
wisely if she gives considerable weight to
the general opinion that is held of the gen.
tleman in question by his! professional breth-
rem or his business acquaintance. 1t IS not
the man who is agreeable among women,
but he who is we'll liked by his own sex,
who is the man to choose for husband.
There are certain persons, however, of the
opposite sex who are almost as good judges
of mans disposition as those Of his own,
and they are his sisters. A girl can always
tell how a man stands with his sisters; ii
they are really fond of him, she may be
almost sure that he will make good hus-
band. A MOTHER of course, always speaks
we'll of her son; it is not what she says OF
him, but his behavior to her, that is to be
looked to. And a lady may feel certain on
this point, that as man now treats mother
and sister, so he will treat her six months
after marriage. All this may seem very
cold-blooded, very far removed from the
tender feeling which courtship induces.
But, after all, girl has choice to make
a choice upon which the happiness of her
whole life will depend, and there is always
time, whether she notices it or not, before
she parts with the control of her heart, at
which she ought to listen to her judgment.
Without better evidence than her own feel
ings she is very likely to make mistake,
but if she can assure herself that her lover
is man who is respected and liked by his
male friends, and is a favorte at home, she
may be pretty sure that in listening to his
love she is choosing wisely.