Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-06-11
BRIGHT BITS.

A YOUNG LAZY in Philadelphia has had
several Wagner selections arranged for the
banjo. number Of residences in the vicinity
are now for rent.-BOst0H Post.
"wHAT are you doing. my love?'' asked
young husband Of his wife. "Oh," she re-
piled, holding up dilapidated pair OF paints,
Il am only collecting the rent.'-BEr9iHgtoR
Free Press.
A PITTsBURG WOMAN suggests that the way
for women to 20 into the pulpit is to cut down
the ministers salaries 10 $l2 a week. She
thinks almost any employment which pays as
low as Sl2 week would promptly be turned
over to women.
More than two years ago Ferdinand Ward
gave $500 toward organizing brass band IN
Connecticut town. From that day to this tate
has kept her finty eye upon the young man,
and at last she is getting even with him.
Philadelphia Press.
A MEDICAL JOURNAL contains an article
entitled, ''NOtes Of Cases of Ice Cream Poison
ing" It Is said that young men are clubbing
together 10 raise fund Of five hundred dol
lars to secure the insertion Of the article IN
all the papers in town. Their object is I'M
knOwn.-Norrist0lCH Herald.
A CONNECTICUT editor asks: an Waiting
with young lady does the young man go
around her or does she 20 around the young
MANI We viii simply say for the benefit OF
this wooden nutmeg that the Young mans arm
goes around the girl, and the powder from
the girls hair goes all over the young man.
VIvIER. the cornet player. was spending a
few days in the country. The farmers man.
telpiece was dsfgured by some artificial
flowers under glass globe. Nivier looked al
them and said to the farmer: IF l were you
I'd take the globe away" The farmer did so.
'And now" continued Fivier, SID take away
the flowers"
4 PRESBYTERIAN minister in Scotland.
sh lrt time ago. offered TO give a shilling to
every man, and half crown to every woman,
who would come To him the next Gay and de-
clare truthfully that they had not spoken of
worldly matters after church. Not one came.
If he ever tried that in this country he would
be bankrupt after the first attempt.
''JUsT after my admission to the bar got
a client rich old man." said Wayne Mac
Neagh in court on Saturday. Il felt battered,
for. naturally, / thought that he had selected
me for my legal acumen. Fancy how much
my soul was panied by the reception of note
from him saying: My dear young man. be
kind enough TO go out and select for me a few
punches OF purple headed asparagus and
charge to professional services"
II is SAID that Mrs. Emo pawned her dia-
mOnds to help her rascally husband escape to
| Canada, and some papers affect to look upon
this as a remarkable instance OF devotion and
sacrifice. Very pathetic, indeed! To think
that she actually parted with some of her dia-
monds to keep her husband out Of State pri-
SON. Why, it is enough to draw tears from
the eyes of a robbed depOstor whose money
paid for the diamonds.-BOst0H Globe.
FIRST dear girl: Only to think, we came
pretty near not going to Europe this year.
Second dear girl: How hOrrid What was
the matter? First dear girl: why, mamma
heard that the companies were putting down
the charges for passage so low that she was
afraid II would get common to cross. But
then she found out the new rates were only
for the steerage so of course it is all right and
veIl go as usual. But really | was quite
scared.
Mrs. A.-"Oh. dear, it is too dreadful l
had three complete sets of new dishes last fall
and all have gone to ruin" Mrs. BIN
what way?" Mrs. A.-"The servants broke
them. of course" Mrs. B.-"Well,s | have
never kept house. We have boarded ever
since our marriage, but / have often thought
that if did begin should at the very start
make it a rule to charge the servants for
everything broken" Mrs. Att would do
no good. | tried that once, Mrs. B.-"HOw
did it work." Mrs. A.-"When the girl left
owed her ten dollars and she owed me seven
hundred and fifty.-PhilddelDhiG Can.