The Columbus journal., 1884-07-30
"a LITTLE H.JNSENSE."

Have You seen George lately,
Charley?' No; loarcd him five dol
lars rs much rs three weeks ago. -
LOrcN citizen.
-''llcrc's Your rna,, beef. sah.' said
the waiter: 81 served it some time ago. y
''Oh, indeed. roast beef? Why, so YOU
did. l thought all the time it was q
crack in the plate. = ictroH Free Press.
A terrible screa,n
4 Fargo young luiy ramcd Rouse. d.
And the scream T. n She Scrom,
Shattered heavens blue dome.
And bulgcd out the walls of the house.
Bismarck Tribune.
An amendment: ..Don't give it
sway, please, Millrcd. said Amy to
the highschOol girl. after rcciting an
escapade in which she had been en-
gagged. NO replied Mildred, IN
make no gratuitous presentation of it. "
-OU city Derrick.
In a barber shop: Mr.. Jack Plane.
carpenter, whose facial stubhle has Just
been raced, lays down Il two-dollar
note. Boss barber Ticket" j. p
m mo. guess not. I'm always losing
en- Boss barber-..In the shavinps,
ch?''-BostOn TranScript.
"A rural reader of the San asks:
What is the best thing to feed hogs
on?" Well. that depends altogether on
circumstances. If you have no trough.
You had better feed them on the ground.
They mi ght be fed on the barn floor.
but it is easier and consequently better
to feed them on the ground. rs it is 70
easy matter to drive hogs into the barn.
-Pcck'S San.
Aunt Tabitha visited an uptown
studio the other day, and was admiring
the portraits, when the artist quietly in
quircd of her, '.Wouldn't you like to be
taken from life, madamp'' LAVISH
mercy exclaimed she, starting for the
door, IL hope haven't fallen into the
hands of a murderer"' And she retired
in evident alarm before the artist could
say word in eNplanation.-N. Y. Com
merciM -Adr1tiser.
A BrOokl yn woman said to her ser
want girl. a fresh arrival on the latest
boat from Cork: .'Bridgct. 90 out and
see if Mr.. Block. the butcher on the cor
ner. has pigs feet The dutiful servant
went out and returned We'll. what
did he say?' asked the mistress. Sure,
he said nuthin', num- Has he got
pigs feet Faith, couldn't see
mum-he had his boots On. " Y
Commercial IdrctiSer
MIR. Schmidt" said a German gen
tleman yesterday. as he entered a Pitts
burgh merchants office. Mister
Schmidt, | haf der schmall pox-"
Great hcavensr' Mr. Schneider" was
the hurried reply, don't come here"
and the clerks rapidly disappeared in
various directions. ..Vot's der madder
NIT YOU fcllcrs anyhow" pursued
Schneider. Il haf der schmall pox full
of butter oud in mine wagon vot der
Mrs. Schmidt orderet last wick al
reaty." Explanations and cigars fol-
lowed Pittsburgh Chronicle.
of all the Biblical characters, said
Mr.. Shinrack. putting aside the Scrip
lures and addressing his interesting
family, II most admire David. Aside
from being a great ruler. he was poet.
and a singer of great sweetness" He
was something like Andrew Johnson"
replied the son. young man whose
career on the college lay-grOund has
been spoken of in the highest terms.
Why like Andrew Johnson?" asked the
father. because he was a tailor"
What. David tailor?'' Yes. for the
Bible says So" The Bible saws moth
ing of the kind" '.Oh, YES, for don't
You know that when Saul went into the
cave David cut his garment?'' After
few moments silence the father said to
his wife: There is an old horsc-pistol
somewhere uPtstairs. Wish you'd