Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-04-17
Aumuruas department.

O. J
HOW SHE KEPT THE SECRET.-"We are
bound to be equal to you men," said the
Mason's wife, 'we Termed a secret society
of our own last night.''
"Indeed" said the worshipful master,
composedly; "then I hope, my dear, your
society or what?" ...... g.. - ..
-ao"That's none Of your business. It's Sc
icret society, and we're sworn by solemn oath
not to divulge anything relating to it,"
"Very good, my DEAR" observed the
worshfpfdl master, returning to his paper;
"I'm sure 1 do not wish you to violate
your oath.'' s.-ss.
"It wouldn't matter if you did, I
wouldn't. You keep your secrets close
enough-and to think Of that stupid Mrs.
Furbelow! she could recollect neither the
teach her. When gave her the sign (suits
the action to the word) she would make it
this way, ha! ha! Her stupidity would
have been exasperating if it hadn't been ri
diculous, and as for learning the grip, why,
she would have it that it was this way
give me your hand minute-there, she
would have it that way, while it was this
way; and the password, she couldn't keep
it in her memory two minutes. Over and
over again / told her it was BE just and
fear not and she would have it, Swear not
at all, or DO unto others as you would be
done BY ha ha! We almost despaired of
getting it through her head. But we man.
aged to make her understand at last. Oh,
yes, we are going to have f1ourishing so
ciety, and we can be as secret about it as
YOU men can be about yours"
Then the lady went off to attend her house
hold duties, and the worshipful master hid
his face behind his paper and smiled.-Ne'o
York Journal.
Jokes ON THE 81" RoADs.-A gentle
man on the elevated railroad few days
agoenlightened country friend andamused
a score or two of city folks who were in
hearing of his voice, which had been raised
for the occasion, by explaining the origin OF
the term s'the L roads," as applied to the
elevated structures.
"You see," he said, ''that at every curve,
in turning corner, the road has to run at
right angles to itself, thus forming letter
l.. That is why they call it "the l. road.'''
A suggestion that the term was only an
abbreviation of the word elevated" and
might as well be written "the FL road, u
was lost in the laughter which followed.
sent of another which occurred some years
back, when the Metropolitan road did not
run on Sunday.
A person had laboriously climbed the
stairway at Park place only to find the gates
closed and the ticket office deserted, and
only the big gilt letters NJ. E. R. R. (Met,
ropolital Elevated Railroad) staring at him
from above the Office window.
"Of course" he muttered, as he decended
the stairway again, 81 might have known
that no Methodist Episcopal Railroad would
run on Sunday"
MIsTooK THE BREED.-"What do you
think should be done with the wool tariff %
inquired garrulous and inquisitive passen'
ger, of tall, SOmbre man who sat beside
him as stiff as a barber pole.
''Don't know anything about it sir" re-
piled the stiff man, curtly. After pause
the questioner braced up his courage and
began with:
7What breed do you prefer ?"
"Breed, sir !" the sombre man calculated,
in astonishment. II don't know anything
of breed, sir. Do you mean to insult me,
sir?" inquired the stiff person, sharply, as
he arose from the seat. You should be
ashamed of yourself, SIR"
'Darn it all, stranger, keep cool. Didn't
you tell me you had the honor to preside
over the first flock at Aurora ?"
s'Certainly did, you stupid man but |
didn't mean that 1 am sheep-tender. l
am minister of the gospel"
A look of blank and unspeakable amaze
ment o'erspread the others face, which was
soon broken by. his opening his mouth and
saying:
We'll change the subject. ."-C@acago Herald.
' ARKANSAS HUMoR.-A physician, just
about the close of the war, presented a bill to
a we'll known Arkansas Judge for attending
on negro. What! eighteen hundred
dollars ~ exclaimed the jurist, looking over
the bill. "Isn't that extremely high? %
'sNo; not when you take into consideration
the prices of medicines" All right, doc
tor" and the judge began to count out Con,
federate money. ~ can't take that"
"Why, my dear sir, you charge war prices
and should accept war money" "Weli,
it's no account, and 1 won't have it."
Well, then take the negro. That strikes me
as being fair" Can't take the negro,
Judge, for he's free. Tell you what I'll do:
see you have several mules out there: I'll
take one of them." "Oh, no, can't let you
have one of the mules just now, but wait a
few days, and if the President issues proc
lamation freeing the mules, come around
and I'll let you have one. ."-7faueler.
JOKE BY Mr.. EvARTs.-Lord Coleridge
isdelighting his English friends with stories
of his American visit, and among them was
this: He was at Mt. Vernon with Mr..
Evarts and talking about Washington,
said: III have heard that he was very
strong man physically, and that standing on
the lawn here, he could throw dollar right
across the river on the other bank" Mr..
Evarts paused a moment to measure the
breadth of the river with his eye. 1t SEEM
ed rather "tall' story, but it was not for
him to belittle the father of the country
in the eyes of a foreigner. "Don't you be-
lieve it?' asked Lord Coleridge. "Yes," "
Mr.. Evarts replied, II think it's very likely
to be true. You know dollar would 60
farther in those days than it does now."
Bae"A young man." said the visitor, who
had been invited by the superintendent to
make few feeble remarks to the boys, lis
like ship in the ocean-as long as the ship
is sound and no water leaks in she rides tri-
umphant. so with young mamie may
be where there is wickedness, but if he
keeps it from leaking in, if he keeps tight
that is-he-if he is always tight and
and" And then the visitor realized that
he never could make it right, and he sat
down and feebly mopped his face with a
red handkerchief
~ "You were in the late war, were you
not, Doctor?" was question put to quack