Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-12-24
pLEASANTRIES.

FIRST wretch: "How's your wife, old
man?" Second wretch: splendid
bad coId-can't speak above a whisper"
TEACHER: "Who ruled after Saul?"
Little Bessie: David. "-'And who
came after David ?"-" Solomon" "And
who came after Solomon ?"-"The
Queen of Sheba."
In one of the CherryGeld, Me-, schools
the question was recently asked g little
7-year-old: "What islands lie south
east Of Cape Cod?" Nantucket and
Martha's Barnyard," was the quick re
Spouse.
HUSBAND q A. NJ, after a curtain
lecture-"WeIl all have got to say is,
if you are person of such refinement
and good breeding, you ought to be
above talking to g drunken fellow at
this hour of the night"
"ARE you going to Blowout's din
ner party this evening, Amelia?" Il
want to, Edward, dear, but I can't. I
have nothing to wear" "Then, if you
have nothing to wear, why can't you
go as you are ?"- Burlington Hawkeye.
SoENE-Hotel in Texas. Native Cat
the dinner table Gimme the salt? Dry
Goods Drummer from New York with
hauteur )-Excuse me, sir, but l am not
the waiter. Native Gimme the salt :?
The drummer gives him the salt
New York Sun.
a FAIR maiden of Keokuk, La, having
1een Tilted by the head waiter of hotel,
vent to shoot him, whereupon. in the
1ost ungaIlant manner possible, he
4 L, - Ill
med plate. He was gay disheaver.
/ Raleigh News.
"WHAr fills our prisons?" shouted a
importance orator. whisky, my
lends; whisky fills our prisons"
Veil, I've been (hic) IN good many
isons," said one who stood near the
or, shut blamed if l ever saw (hic)
that we're filed with whisky"
He: Look here, can't keep my
es closed; you take up three quarters
the bed, and keep kicking me in the
OK" She (angrily): Indeed, sir!
that SO? You are the first one to
mplain like that about me-" He
yhast): well, by Jove! I hope
WHAT Is economy" asks the Phila-
lphia North American. Well tell
u. It is paying ten cents for cigar
compelling your wife to turn her
seasons dress to make it do for an
Ter winter. The country is fairly
lying with such economy Norris
N Herald.
As man was paying fifty cents for a
~ of BoswelPs Life of Johnson he
marked: IT am engaged in making
objection of the lives of our presi-
nts and this of the successor of Lin
In will make it nearly complete. You
Il very cheap" "Yes, we sell very
cap, some times" said the dealer
'rovidence News.
"SoME people" said Mrs. Sharpnale,
Measure love by gold. I measure it by
1ality." II measure it by quantity"
id meek little Mr.. Sharpnale in feeble
mes, @I measure it by the peck" "By
% peck, you lunatic; what do you
ean by that?" by the hen peck" he
urgled hoarsely, and then all the rest OF
he night he wished he hadn't said it.
HONOR O'LoGHLEN, the hostess of the
tridiron, an old hotel which Irish
awyers frequented, had ready wit
1dpSSA4A3 ~ SubSE tAO 0AoOA
Inner, Curran proposed her health
T give you, gentlemen" he said, "hOnol
and honesty" Possibly the worthy
andIady. did not feel complimented
Tor she readily rejoined: "Your absent
friends, Mr.. Duran"
WHEN a man aims his gun at a cat
and pulls the trigger, and the cap sim.
oly snaps, it might be Gkened to the
rizzes on q fashionable maiden's fore
lead-it is false bang. ?. SIT may
,e supposed that it required several
laye' severe mental labor to produce
he foregoing, out it didn't. The office
OF evolved it while footing up the cleo
on returns Norristown Herald.
Jones All low true Il is that it is
ore blessed to give than to receiye."
NTH (meanly )-"That is new dis
very for Won TO make" Jones GnnO-