The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1884-06-20
SOME CHURCH CHARACTERS,
surdette Points Out Who and what They
Are

Are
This" said the returned missionary
to the poor heather whom he had brought
over, lis a church"
And the poor heather admired the
church. By and by he asked:
"Who is the fatman with the big watch
seal, who looks at the churches rs though
he thought some of putting on $50
bay window and raising the rent $500 a
year?"
"This is a trustee" said the returned
missionary"
He does most of the praying, I sup
pose?" said the poor heather, who, in
his blindness, knows very little about
the way we do these things.
mo" said the returned missionary,
she doesn't believe in praying; he is a
Bob Ingersoll man and he believes that
nobody doesn't know nothing and that
they know that he knows that they
knows he knows they don't. He is not
a member OF the church, but he is a
good, clear-headed business man, good
manager, on real estate deals, and so he
is q trustee. Doesn't take very much of
a Christian to be a trustee, except IN
the country. In town d church only
wants a good business man for trustee.
"And who is the man who stands in
the door and glares at the people as
they pass in and tries to keep them out 2"
asked the poor heather.
"That is the sexton" replied the
missionary. He dosent believe in
opening the church for religious service
at all. He says the church was built to
| hare swell weddings in, and that for
preaching and prayer meetings and
other side shows of that nature the
trustees should hire q hail."
"Who is the very young man who
pushes people out of the way that he
may have more room to pass In, and
stoops very low as he enters the 20-foot
door, and sits directly under the steeple
lest he should strike his head when he
stands rp ~
8"That," said the returned missionary,
lis the new superintendent of the Sun
day school. They are all that way at
first. BY and by, when he has forgotten
every line of his beautiful speech, when
there are distinguished strangers. pre-
sent, when he has started the wrong
tune to an entirely strange hymn, and
corrected himself by striking the right
tune on a key SO high that the chicaes Of
Normandy couldn't ring second bass 70
ii; when he has funked, fair, square
and outright, on the first 10 questions
in his question box, he Will know less
by a ton than he does now, and be a
good, useful, earnest and humble super
intendent. He's only young and new,
like an August persimmon."
"Hcre d Gomez the owner Of the church, :
the poor heather said. she looks az
though he had decided to make penn.
mican of the sexton and trustee, and moi
hold any service to-day"
"No, that is not exactly the owner o
the church." the returned missionary
said "that is the leader Of the choir"
ssNho is that meek, timid little mar
who is trying TO creep Id without letting
the sexton see him, and who has JUS
taken off his hat to the leader Of thu
choir? r"
ooh, that is only the pastor Of th,
church." the returned missionar.
replied. ssWill you go inside?"
And the poor heather said he would
because he rather guessed. from thei
looks, that the sexton and the leader D
the choir had made up their minds Il
settle that morning which OF the tw'
should take the church and run it.
-.-