News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1884-09-11

All Fear COnquered-A Litte heip-i1fs-
sons in Liie-He had been TO School, ETC.
CAUSE AND EFFECT.
Mrs. Blank--"There it is again. This
paper says that Mr.. Oldboy has made
million on real estate transactions with
in year"
Mr.. Blank-"What of it ?"
"You forget that Mr.. Oldboy was one
of my early admirers, and l might have
married him if I had wished. / did
not, and he has remained a bachelor.
He is now rich, while the man mar
ried is still poor.
"Well, 1 might have been rich, too,
if"
eff what ?"
'If I hadn't married. ."-IHe Call.
HE HAD BEEN TO SCHOOL.
"Where have you been, you young
rascal p angrily demanded Fitzgoober,
as Pinder came sneaking in at the back
door, late in the afternoon.
"Been to school," slowly answered
Pinder, dropping his books and anx-
iously cycling the strap his father dan
gled so tantalizingly.
'Been to school? Oh, you little liar
do you think I'm to be fooled that easy ?
I went over to the academy and you
hadn't been there to-day; one of the
boys said you had gone fishing. Now,
what have you to say to that T.
Gradually edging toward the door and
keeping chair between him and his
father, Pinder raised his soulful eyes
and innocenty asked:
"Well, pa, don't fishes have schools 2
-AHantG Co,astifattion.
EXPECTING TOO piUoH.
Little Billy Simpton is aged about II.
Not long since the Simpton family was
increased by still another little boy, and
a friend of the family, meeting Billy,
said to bim:
$50 you have got another baby Mt
at your house. He is a right smart little
fellow, amt he ?"
"Humph ~ sneered Billy. turning up
his nose: show many smart boys do you
expect us to have in our family p
Teras Strings.
LESSONS OF EXPERIENCE.
Mrs SHmdiet-"Yes, know he looks
like nice young man, but told him l
had no vacancies"
Miss S.-"But you have, ma, and he
said he would pay his board in advance.
Why didn't you take him ?"
"Because he is market clerk"
"But what of that p
Everything. He will always be talk
ing at table about the early vegetables
and other high priced things just arrived
in market. "-PhiLa call.
ALL FEAR CONQUERED.
Mrs. Blank--"Do you remember,
dear, that before we were married you
always offered me your left arm p
Mr.. Bank-"Yes. wanted to have
my right arm free. You see l had q
lovers fear that some one would try to
take You away from me, and always
kept in readiness for defence"
Mrs. Blank--"How sweet But how
is it that now you generally offer me
your right arm ?"
Mr. Biank--"Well, I'm not so afraid
as was
A LITTLE HELP.
Maud--Isn't this a queer title for
book, mother-"NotL Like Other Girls ?
l wonder what can she be if she is no
like other girlsP ..
Mother-I don't know, unless sh
goes into the kitchen and helps he
mother instead of staying in the parlo
to read novels.-Life.
THE DUTIES OF SERVANT.
Mamma" complained little gir
-,-.,..i4.es ir+, thn hf,rse sine and Will
wanted nurse to sit down and let Il
pour sand in her back, and sh
wouldn't"
"Certainly not. She did quite right.
"Wen, that's what you told her sh'
was to do when she first came"
81 told her that she was to let yor
and Willie pour sand down her back p
"Not exactly that, mamma, but yor
told her sine was to mind the children. u
SHE GOT HER SEAT.
"ls this seat engaged?'' asked small
thin woman of fat man i'll the New
Haven train the other day.
No reply.
"Wil you please take your feet down
and let me sit on this seat?" she re-
peated in louder tone of voice.
Again no reply.
'I read to-day" she continued still
louder, "that Chicago man has cor
nered all the pork in the world. How
did you manage to escape ?"
At the next station she had the whole
seat to herself. - Graphic.