Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1884-01-05

4 gan by inviting the infidel, who
had been talking on what he called
] Talmaganism, to preach his first
sermon In his Brooklyn pulpit,
when he should become the
advocate, as he Is now the foe, Of
Christianity.
"It seems, from what we have
been taught by this man Ingersoll, !"
he said, "that Christianity is huge
blunder that the Mosaic account
of creation is an absurdity, large
enough to throw all nations into Il
rollicking guttaw; that Adam and
Eye never lived; that Noah's ark
and the flood were impossibiIities I;
that there never was a miracle (;
that the Bible favors polygamy,
cruelty, obscenity, and all forms of
base crime that it makes slave
of woman, stultifies man, and that
from cover 10 lid the scripture is d
fable, an obscenity, cruelty, a
hurnbug, sham, lie; that mar
tyrs were dupes that the Church
is properly gazetted as fool that
when Carlyle called the Bible a no
BILE book he was dropping into inn
becilIty, and that Andrew jackson
turned into a snivellIng coward
when he said the Bible is the rock
on which our Republic rests.
""The whole hope OF life is sus-
pended, says the infidel. And il Is
wisdom to push the book from our
affection, and put it under foot. for
your old father was hoodwinked
and cajoled and cheated and befooled
when he leaned on it as staff af-
ter his gray hairs grew, and his
steps faltered, and his hand became
tremulous; that your mother sat
with a pack of lies ON her lap, as
she read of better land. This
book having deceived them, and
having deceived the mighty intel
lects of the past, must not be al
lowed to deceive our larger, nigh
tier, wiser, vaster, more stupendous
intellects. So out with the work
from our. courtroom out with it
from under-schools, asylums, and
home circles; make d bonfire OF its
le,.yes, and turn with the plOwshare
"a indignation the polluted ashes OF
thai loathsome, obscene, cruel,
deathful book so antagonistic to
mans liberty, woman's honor, and
tle worlds happiness,
"uut | hear some weak man or
feeble woman cry 'Stopn 'Stopp
says some sinall-brained child, and
give it a trial. We will. / inn
pannel this whole audience on iu-
ry to rendera verdict in this case
'Infidelity, the plaintiff, versus
Christianity, the defendant Twelve
jurors are ordinarily sufficient, but
in this vaster case | impannel a
thousand people, and Task them ST.
lently to affirm that they will well
and truly try this issue. so help
you God
ssThe jury impaneled, call your
first witness. '3Chert u. lnger-
soll,f aIIete.' Swear the witness.
But how? / know but two ways
OF taking an oath in court-rOom.
BY kissing the Hihie or raising the
left hand. | cannot ask him 10
swear by book which he believes
to be pack OF lies, so ! swear him
by the rings OF Saturn, the spots on
the sun, the caverns in the moon,
the milky way, the nebular theory,
and he will tell thetruth, the whole
truth, and nothing but the truth.
1t is principle settled in all court
and intelligent circles that false In
part, false In ALI And now | will
show you that, inasInucn as he errs
In ane thing, he errs Ia all he says
about the bible and succeeding. i
will ask you to throw overheard Ills
entire testimony
ST must, at the risk OF spelling
one Of Ingers0iPs favorits JOKES and
raising a snarl, snatch away his So.
vogite hone end tell you that there
was no a. QWity-in the rreation q
wonauf,ov. bun the lib Of Adarsa'
was u ouImDy. prizes are not fu
avidual followed paid.