The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1884-05-24
THE WEALTH OF WOE
Bill Nye's Soul has Wres.ied with
and yes is not Unhinged
Inc Wood Eugraver Tsmpers
with the Sacred Ltnee menrs OF
the HumOrist's Counterhnce
Victory at Last.

Bill Nye in PUCK
No man knows bow much :hs
human heart can endure and yet moi
burst until ne has seen bis portrait
published a few times. Then he
realizes the wealth Of woe that one
soul nisy wrestle with, and yet no!
become loosed from its fraii tenement
of clay. Men 60 on, year after year,
gaining the esteem of their fellow
men by an upright course, only to
lose it all by fory citing themselves
at an unfortunate and weak moment,
and permit their portraits to be
published and their shame pro-
lmed upon the ~housetops.
Some years ago an alleged eDgrav>
ing was made from one of my photo
graphs, tat the proof was sent to me
10 time, 50 that I could by telegraph
prevent its publication.
In that portrait the wOcd-eDgraver
had taken the liberty to tamper with
the face, adding little Improvements
bere aud there according 10 his Owl
ideas Of beauty.
! Among the rest. l remember that
be lad uuscrewed the lower jaw and
let il fall down about an iuch. so
that the face had the expression of
u vacant lot in early spring.
You puIlany mah's lower jaw loose
and lay it On his heaving breast, and
then turu his eyes up toward the
staI-studced sky, and he seems TO
lack force OF character, somehow.
So l wired the house to "kili' that
portrait, and bury il with the en-
Rraver when the 7iclets bloomed.
Then another engraver took his life
and his cold chi>e! in his hand, and
blocked me out q second one He
thought | might be sensitive about
my late front hair, so hs put some on
III the engraving without additional
charge. 1t Io.ked like the bunch of
grass that springs up around an old
puffalo bulls skull.
/ do not care to wear ImprOvlsed
hair, even in an engraving. l am not
proud. Ii nature intended that my
Scandinavian hair should fall early
the fight, ] cannot help it. CALL
not ask the engraver to help me out.
This portrait was averted by the Use
IF electricity, and the WIDOW OF the
:ngraver was Asked to send her bill
n to me for adjustment.
Later on another. engraver took
lola Of the matter.
He went at it hopefully, and even
lilariously. singing anon as ne out =
lis sheet iron shade over his eyes, aud
his boiler iron corset, that
might be ready in case l should
ONE III on him while he was at
york.
He made a speciality of the Adams
Eple. j.
He made a portrait that wasn't SO II
errif1c if ne hadn't thrown in an
Intellectual waste of Adams apple q
nat would inspire a giraffe with awe.
He fooled along with the engraving
ntll time to go TO press, and then he
anded it in with his resignation, got
copy Of the paper SO as to b. sure he
ad done his horrible work well, and
len went to interior Africa to make
home.
For a long time after the paper was pa
ublished my wife would not recog-
me on the street, and the child
n were bathed in tears. l suffered
great deal mentally, but resolved to ,
We it down, and to aid me in this sig
'eat undertaking a friend offered 10 iins
lblish a fine lite-like engraving that Lo
Ould be certified to as accurate, and Va
| former ones denounced as base in 40,
un
| agreed to it, and be went at it. 81
Alter a good deal of delay he sent +
e a proof which bore q striking re- vic
mblance to me. / admitted to him sal
at it favored me, and we decided 10 !Rn1tt
it go forth with my name attached in
it. sui
the press went on with its =
rumble and grumbIe, grinding
t Its thousands of copies of papers,
ralding to the English-speaking
rid that the subscriber wore his
aims open to the Indictment weather
d pulled his scalp down over his 81
10 be facetious.
The first copy Of the paper was a
I'd one, and the portrait loomed up eu
e the Turkish towel moustacbe Of
young man, but the next reyolu-
q Of the press disturbed an EN-
ad o: a loose canard or something w
out the makeup of the paper, and !"
the onward march of the machine
e whole top Of my head was taken NJ
and piled up over the off eye like ~
'tudy In Give green or navy blue an
er AL election fight.
still, We are getting a better class -
-ngravers than we had five years
1t seemed pretty harsh % kill
the bad ones, but l am willing to .,
ke almost any sacrifice for the ad-
Of art.