The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-05-14
MY BIG FISH.

| vi div EIoh
Three months ago | was happy
man. | had charming wife, TIVE
handsome children, comfortable
income, considerable practice, and
for a SOLICITOR a clear conscience.
All but the last / still possess, but
the loss of that one item has destroy
ed my peace of mind andlembittered
nv whole existence. And yet |
cannot but think that there was
great excuse for me. When a man
basely yields to temptation he is
said to fall" but that expression
hardly applies to my case. | was
regularly pushed over by ether peo-
pie. But | will tell my painful
story and the reader shall Judge for
himself.
Nv name is Marmaduke Howard
Jones. Dropping the Howard as a
trifle too ornate for every day use,
| am known socially and profession
ally as Marmaduke H. Jones, and |
have felt some little pride in the
name, as being uncommon, not to
say distingue. | do not mean to
suggest that l am by any means the
only Jones, and there are doubtless
other Marmadukes; but the tout en-.
senable, the combination, Marmaduke
Ii. Jones, tOtus, terres, utque T0tundtts,
has always struck me as possessing
considerable artistic merit, and as
doing great merit te my godtathsrs
and godmothers. | hattered myself
that the combination was at any
rate unique, and certainly never
supposed, until a few weeks since,
that there could possibly be another
! individual, still less another MEM
Der of my own profession, rejoicing
| in the verv same name The reader
will therefore understand that the
supposition of mistaken identity
was the last that was likely TO occur
to me when. on opening my letters
one morning a couple of months ago,
found the following from an old
friend resident in Yorkshire:
"TIPCAT, YoRKs.
DEAR OLD BeY:-Just seen no
tice of your splendid success, and
hasten to congratulate you. You
mast come and try your luck with
US very shortly. | know of a whop-
per. not far from here, that | should
like you to have a shy at. Kind re-
CARDS TO the wife. Ever yours sin
cerely,
SAM THoRoGooD.
| stared at the letter in amaze
ment. had recently got verdict
in rather uphill case of Grumley
VS.. Pipkin, but it was not a matter
of much public interest, and was
scarcely likely to have made any
marked sensation in a small town in
1 Yorkshire. Still, this being the only
available explanation, | adopted it,
The allusion Of the "whopper
whom ! was invited to have shy
at was mysterious; but concluded
that it referred to some wrong-doer
of high degree possibly the parson
or the squire who had been riding
rough shod over his humble neigh
bors, and whom Thorogood desired
in country phrase, to have the law
of" | put the letter aside and went
on with my other correspondence
Presently | came to a still more
mysterious epistle:
4 "BooNDERBY, NEAR TRIvERToN.
1 SIR:-Having seen the report Of
your recent achievement, | :rust
you will pardon my inquiring what
/ flight you are in the habit of using
| | feel that | am taking a liberty in
addressing a total stranger on such a
subject, but our mutual interest III
the same pursuit must be my ex.
cuse.
81 enclose stamped envelope for
reply. | remain your obedient SER
want,
civilian PoDMoRE.
"Grumley VS.. Pipkin must have
made more noise than | imagined, u
| soliloeuized. But what on earth
does the man mean by his flight,
and our mutual interest in the same
pursuit? Does he think I'm a mem
Der of the Aerial Navigation Society ?
AS he has sent stamped envelope
for reply, | suppose he must have
one, so here goes
"39, FURNIvAL's Inn.
| DEAR SIR Il am in receipt OF
your letter, but haven't a notion
what it means. Please explain.
Yours truly,
MARMADUKE H. JONES"
The next letter / came to was
from a brother solicitor On profes-
sional business, bat in a P. S. the
writer said:
accept my congratulations on
your big fish. l had no idea you
were such sportsman"
Big fish, Here's another lunatic !
| CALCULATED, but at this moment ]
was interrupted by the entrance Of a
client. After we had disposed of his
business, he remarked, as he stood
up to take his leave:
Everybody is talking about that
big pike Of yours. I'm not fisher
man myself, but l infer that it was
q very swell achievement. Allow
me to congratulate you."
"What on earth are you referring
to2" / exclaimed.