, 1884-03-06
OUT ON CRUTCHES.
The Aflmont OF the Aged Cripple
Who Paraded Up and Down
the Wharf

[R- K Mulkittrick in Puck.l
An aged mnn was parading up and dc wn
one Of the wharves on North river. the othsr
day, looking as though a good meal would
not affect him disaStrously. The wind WIS
blowing pretty hard, and the old man found
it rather difficult to stand up on his crutcbes,
although each of them had = spike in tho end
as n protection against ice, banana-sdns, and
other impulsivo things that besst the path Of
man.
One of his legs shot backward from the
knee. and seemed to remain in that position
all the time,
The foot Of his game-leg was wrapped in
flannel, and around the flannel about fifty
yard Of cords wsro wound to keep 1t on all
right,
After he had seated himself on a bale, a
carman approached him and said;
"How's your foot to-dayr'
"First-rate." replied the old man.
"Don't you find 1t hard to get along on
crutchesf" inquired the carman.
"Not at all" replied the old man; mot at
all You soc. when a man walks all day on
his feet, he becomes foot-sore."
@Yes.n
"But whom n man walks all day On one foot
and his crutches, he can only tire one foot
The fatigue that would naturally accrue to
tho other goes into the crutcnss. Conse-
quently 1 am never foot-sore."
Did you have your leg hurt in the WARP
inquired the carman-
"Not much" replied the old cripple; u
wasn't in the war Mt all; 1 lived in Canada
during the war"
How long have you been on crutchssr'
About three months."
al had an idea you were anna all your life"
said the carman.
"Oh, no; it is only recent"
"Rheumatismf"
4No."
Crushed on a railroad trainr"
aNo."
Skipped down on a slippery walkf"
wrong again. replied the lame man, as
he looked dreamily across the river, and fol-
lowed with his eye the sea-gulls that noated
happily along the sky on the desd-wing.
The carman looked at him curiously. Then
he repeated:
Haven't been lame for lifsi Haven't
r~heumatismi Haven't been crushed OH II
railroadi Haven't slipped down on tho
deadly banana-skin or slippery waikiki"
"None Of those, cir; none OF those" re-
sponded the lame man
+ add you break your Leg In a football
matchf"
"No."
"Did you ever get tangled up In the ma
chinery OF a millF'
Never worked In n mill, n replied this lam4
man, as he made dreary designs On the
ground with the end Of ono Of his crutehes.
After a moments silence the ear1nan's curl.
oSity got the better Of him again. There was
quite a line of drays ahead of him, and II
would be a long while before he could de-
liver his load and get a receipt SO he turned
again TO tbs old man on the bale, and in
quired o. H rIaf
"Did you aver fall down a hatohwayr
-No, Eir."
Then the carman braced himself for the
final effort, and said.
Then how did you hurt your lsgf-
"Who said I hurt my legf"
swell, didn't you hurt our legf' asked thu
carmnn.
D Ii l say I hurt my lsgY demanded the
| old man.
NO."
"Then what are you talking about qusried
the cripple.
"Your leg"
"what are you asking about my lsgI" In
quired the man on crutohss
"How you hurt.it"
al didn't hurt it at all"
AYou didn'tT' inquired the carman In tone.
that betokened his great surprise.
"No."
-Then what is the matter with itr'
Nothing"
sWhy do you tie flannel around H. them
ITO keep 1t warm" responded the LANE
man with crutches. d.
Couldn't you keep It warm by q stovsf
Eyes, but / couldn't carry = stove around
with me; besides, 1 haven't got one to carry
sround."
Then Won are not lama at air.
"Not at ALL"
"Then why do you 20 on crutchesr'
because / Am impecunious."
The carman seemed puzzled. Seeing hii
bewildermsnt, the man on erutehss sx-
planned: " u
@You SEQ I am hard up"
"Yes.n
Therefore I am Obliged to resort to econ
omy,"
@Yas." 20
$50 I purchase one pair of Shoes
sand they are neither rights nor isfts-"
mo-
Therefore 1 can wear either shoe on either
foot"
~ see.H
$50 l wear ono shoe, and 20 IN cructches
to keep the other shoe new. It Is merely
economy. At this rate ono pair of shoes,
worn one at a time, will last mo twice a,
long as a pair worn at once. Sometimes
20 lame in tho right leg, sometimes in the
left, for a change. l never wear more thar
one shoe at a time. But l expect to get en-
ployment soon, and when / get it 1 shall
hang my, crutohes up, and walk around OF
my feet hks an aristocrat, and put on lots Of
style" p
And then the cAsman drove on q little way
and left the old economist designing quaint
and dainty inta 0lios in thu sand