davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
Shaving Drunken Men.

''Glad that job is over" said a Mad.
ison street barber, as a customer
walked out of the shop with unsteady
steps.
''WhyP" was asked him.
'.Drunk" sententiously.
Have many of that kind?"
'.No, thank goodness! You see, q
drunken man when he sits down to get
shaved is always shooting off his mouth
and is always sure to do it at the
wrong time. just when the razor is
passing over his chin an idea will
strike the fool in the chair, open will go
his mouth. down will go his chin. and
it is only by the greatest care that a fel-
low can keep from cutting him."
Ever have any accidentsP"
'.Don't insult me. never cut any-
body, drunk or sober. But / remem-
ber once the chap that had the chair
next to me, sort of green hand, who
came near cutting a mans nose off.
The customer came in drunk, threw
himself into the chair, and kept per-
fectly quiet while he was being lather-
ed and during the time the first one
half of his face was being shaved.
Then when the barber was about to
shave his upper lip he forgot that he
had drunken man in the chair and
held the blade close to his nose for an
instant. At that very moment some
thing funny struck the mind of the man
and he threw his head back to laugh.
The next instant a razor struck his
nose and stream of blood squirted
clear to the looking glass. The boss
had to pay for patching up the organ
and the green hand was 'docked' ac-
cordingly. But he learned a lesson,
and l guess the customer did too"
Ever have any men go to sleep un-
der the soothing influence of shaveP''
''Yes. but not often. Sometimes a
man will come in from an early train
who has had no sleep all night, and
will doze of. Mighty mean customers
to handle, too"
'.How's that? 1 should think they
would be the more docile.''
mot much. You have to tug at
their heads to get them to turn them,
and then run the risk of giving them q
snip when some dream is running
through their minds, or cutting them
when they suddenly awake with start.
For myself, prefer to shave a sober
business man. He may have his mind
on his affairs. but he is also aware that
he is in a barber's chair and that a
sharp razor Is close to his face. CHI
cGgO NeWs.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
Made it on Oil.

':And you made that suit of clothes
out of it?''
That's exactly what did," replied
the thin man, proudly. "My wife's
done little sewing now and then, and
had fifty dollars saved up. / went to
her and explained how the market was
Told her there was sure to be a boom
and that now was the chance of a life
time. You know | have been going
pretty ragged lately"
The cold tea man nodded his knoWl-
edge of the fact.
''Well, l demonstrated TO her where
there was fortune in sight if l only
had that fifty dollars. She said I'd
lose it. but promised her l wouldn't;
that I'd only operate on the safe side,
and on dead-sure thing. So sho let
me have the money and | went down
to the Exchange. Oil was then selling
at 81 TO- knew it would GO to 81 20
because l had the pointers. you see.
So l just stepped out and bought this
suit of clothes"
"WellP" said the cold-tea man ex-
pectingly.
''Well what?'
"Why. where does your oil specula-
ton come IMP"
''Ain't l got this suit of clothes?
Didn't make 'em on oilP Wasn't I
Oh the safe side of the market? Amt
I ahead of it? What's the matter with
you" and the thin man walked off
Mith dignity. Ptttsbatrg Chronicle.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10

1t is not alone III the far west, upon
the unbroken plains that ''squatter SOW
ereignty" reigns supreme. Although
in the wilds Of the great west the unau-
thorized occupant of land may be more
of monarch than he who squats upon
the ground within the boundaries of
civilization, the latter is regarded as a
troublesome customer in comparison
with the former, asserts his his rights
with more Vehemence if not more del
icate language, and is more pestifer-
Gus object to the landlord of the acre
tract than he is to the wilderness. In
the vicinity of Chicago there are to be
found numbers of these ''squatters"
who have dropped down upon the
landed estates of resident and nom
resident owners. have gained n footing
by the erection of 'shacks," and are
there to stay until forced 10 ''move on"
at the end of troublesome lawsuit.
They represent every nationality and
seem to be well posted in regard to
their ''rights," which they assume to
be superior to the right of eminent do
main. When they are discovered, and
apprised of the fact that they are tres
passers, they affect an air of indiifer-
ence that would cause the owner to
think that he was the wrongdoer, and
to wonder if he had not set foot on the
wrong acre. When invited to remove
from the ''squat' they insist that they
are caring for the premises and prevent
others from committing depradations.
If they are ordered off. they stand up
ON their rights. and point to the courts
rs the only means of effecting q re-
mova. - Chicaso Times,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
Why They Couldn't Hear Him.

General James c. Strong, of Buffalo,
was here this week. He arrived on the
22d anniversary of the day upon
which he was shot down upon n
Southern battle field. He was struck
in the hip (the wound is famous among
physicians and surgeons. I'm told) in
in great agony all day. In the evening
after the battle he heard the voices Of
his men calling him from different
quarters of the field. Colonel Strongw
they shouted. He replied by shout
ing at the top of his voice: Here
l ami Here ami" Still his men
kept shouting: Colonel Strongn
Colonel Strong! Again he replied
with all his might: Here l ami"
..Here | amr' The searchers came
nearer, still shouting. Colonel Strong
always replied: Here l am" with ali
his might. At last they were within
three feet of him. Here l amp he
shouted. They came nearer, but in q
slow uncertain way. Finally one of
them leaned over the log, flashing his
lantern light full on the PROSTATE man.
'Why, here's the Colonel now," he
said to his companions in tones of sur
prise. So they gathered him up and
carried him to the hospital. AS soon
rs he was well enough he asked the man
who had found him on the battlefield
why he had not come to him at once
when he heard him shouting, Here L
am!' "We didn't hear you, SIR" said
the soldier, until we leaned over the
log, and then we heard you whisper in
scarcely audible tones, Here l am.'-
PhiLddeLDhid Record.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
The Champion Liar.

every time | look at the North
star" said the nautical cop, it makes
me feel pale. 1t is all on account of
a balloon experience l had in 1868.
You probably remember that man.
moth air-ship built in Hong Kong to
take trip across the Pacific. / was
there at the time, and the owner of the
balloon engaged me at salary of
81, 900 week to accompany him in his
perilous voyage. 1t was bright sum-
mer morning, remember, and an open
lot on the outskirts of the town was
filled with 100000 people to see us
make the start. The aeronaut got into
the car first, and followed him with
two native servants, who carried our
provisions.
The signal was given to start and the
ropes cut The immense bag of gas.
with its human freight. shot up into the
air like rocket In twelve minutes
we were G, 900 feet above the earth. In
twelve minutes more we had attained
height of 10000 feet. The revolution
of the globe was then plainly percept-
ible. At s o'clock in the evening
We had beaten all previous records,
and were sailing through the clouds
at the frightful rate of sixty miles.
The professor, who was black in the
face but very enthusiastic, suddenly
announced his intention of attempting
to get beyond the attraction OF gravita-
tion. at once demanded an increase
of salary, aud he saw the raise and
made it 81, 500.
''All our ballast had been thrown
out, and, as the balloon had ceased to
rise, it was necessary to make the car
lighter, SO we pitched one of the SER
wants over the side. giving him cook
book to read on his way down. Up
shot the balloon another mile. Then
it became stationary again, and the
fellow had to be disposed of in the in
terest of science. l dropped him out
very carefully, because he was a very
nice man and generous to fault. Up
and up went the balloon, until we had
reached an elevation of 118 miles.
1.-The professor saw that we were
about to stop again, and kindly asked
me to step out and let him continue the
voyage alone. He refused, however,
to further increase my pay, so 1 took
him by the heels and let him drop over.
Then l sailed the airship for the next
three days on my own hook very salts
factorily."
''Where did you land after making
this terrible trip" asked the listener.
believing that my salary was a gen.
GUS one, l permitted the professor to
take his barometer along with him.
SAID the nautical cop.-Phitadekph.a
Record
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
: IA COmpIeXionist."

Stroiling uptown recently, reporter
for the N. Y. Mail and EGpreSs had his
attention attracted by the sign Com
plexionist," which was hanging over
tho door of an inoffensive-look
der the sun compleXionist might be.
he wandered in to satisfy his curiosity.
A French lady of medium height and
with charming conversational powers
received him in small room, fitted up
in q style that might indicate at first
sight either drug store or a hair
dresscr's saloon.
''A complexionist," said the lady,
in answer to the reporters interroga-
ton, sis one who makes study of the
human skin. and takes charge of the
customers complexion.
But surely there are not many
''Oh! yes; there are hundreds of the
fair sex who come here during the gay
season to be made up or to have the
skin treated with delicate washes to
prevent the bad effect of gas, heat, and
late hours. But young ladies are not
the only ones treated; men young
and old-are often found within these
walls"
''What is your usual mode of treat
ment?'
THAT depends on the complexion.
If it is merely to be preserved, we
advise a little careful dieting and
bathing in elder-fower water. Not a
particle of fat must be taken, as it
Injuries the polish of the skin. Here is
prescription that will clean the COM
plexion in a very short time: A table
spoonful of sulphur taken every other
morning for week, then omitted for
three mornings. and taken again. A
mixture of powdered birthstone or
diluted glycerine should be rubbed on
the face at night and washed off in the
morning with soap and water in which
there is a little ammonia. Washing
the face in spirits of camphor, glycerine,
and ammonia is also very good, and
various other methods are resorted to
for this end'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
A Years WooinG.


Twas Autumn when first they stood on. the
bridge;
Ripe pears on the pear tree, ripe corn on the
ridge;
The swallows flew swiftly far up in the blue,
And speeding still southwark, were lost to
Said he: "Can you love me. as 1 can love
your
She said, quite demurely, ALREADY dol"
Twas winter when next they met on the
bridge;
The pear pear trees were brown, and bare was the
The swallows were feathering their nests in
Algiers.
She looked in his face, and she burst into
His nose it was pinched, and his lips they
were blue.
Said she: ~ can't love you" Said he: Nor
Twas srringtime when next they stood on
the bridge;
And while was the pear tree and green was
The swallows had thoughts of a speedy re-
turn,
And the midglets were dancing a-down the
lfown burn.
He said: Pretty maiden, let by-gones go
Can you love me againr' She said: II can
try.
Twas summer when next they stood on the
bridge;
There were pears on the pear trees tall corn
on the ridge; -a-.e
The swallows wheeled round them, far up in
the blue,
Then swooped down and snapped up midg-
let or two.
Said he: Lest some trifie should come in the
way,
And part us again, will you mention the
day?"
She stood, looking down on the fast-fowing
rill,
Then answered, demurely: "AS soon as YOU
will"
Chambers Journal
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10

Professor Thomson, in n recent lect-
ure, informed his audience that the
magnetic pole is now near Boothia
Felix, or more than 1000 miles west of
the geographical pole. In 1907 the
magnetic pole was due north, it having
been eastward before that year. Then
it began TO move westward until 1916,
when the maximum was reached. This
is now being steadily diminished, and
in 1876 it will again point due north.
Professor Thomson says that the chan
ges which will have been observed not
only in the direction, but in the
strength of the earth's magnetism, will
show that the same causes which orig
inally magnetized the earth are still at
work,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
Jealous MiIliOnaires.

Speaking of the hatred of wealth, 1
observe great deal of rancor between
millionaires themselves. Gould and
Vanderbilt are reputed to loathe each
other. 1t is only lately that the Astors
and the Vanderbilts came TO speaking
terms. When Willard went under the
expressions of delight were by no
means confined to those who envied
him in prosperity. And now that Jim
Keene is suffering a disaster, there is
positive hilarity among the Wall street.
ers. IL seems to me that a mob which
would pillage one millionaire's prop
erty would be aided and abetted by
most of the other millionaires The
Joy is quite unconiined over Keene's
downfall. however, on account of his
personal Consciousness. Few men went
near him, no matter how trivial the
business. without going away inveter-
ate enemies. He had aneedlessly harsh,
insulting manner. 1t is not manly to
strike dead lion, but there are few
men in wall street who are not doing
it-M Y Cor. Utica Observer
II
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10

Director General Burke. of the New
Orleans Exposition, announces that the
main building of the exposition has
been increased to l. 1.646. 600 square feet
covering thirty-three acres, and now
larger than the London Exposition of
1862, which covered twenty-three acres.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10

A certain poetes is said to make
good jellies as well as good poetry.
1t is suggested that she make a new
departure-send her jellies to news
paper offices and can hey poems
Norristos0n HERALD ------.,--- -----"e--
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
O. 2. SPERRA,
G.. ID. INGELL,

A TTORNEK AT LAW and Notary
IN Public Office i'll over Mrs. Smiths MILL
cry Store Mantua station, ohio. b42-u.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
I. Ell, PHELPS

A TTORNEY AND CoUN SELLOR AT
IN LAW, Once over Peter Kings Grocery,
West Main St., Ravenna. Ohio.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10

T. Egginton Hogg is the name of the
president of the Oregon Pacific Railway.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-10
f.. w. M MAXSONy

Attorney and Counselor at Law possesses
superior facilities for making collections in
ali parts of the United States. Office over
First National Bank, Garrettsville. Ohio,
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
Letter rom senator n. q. nelson.
SENATE CnAMpkr, ALBANY, y. Y,

April 4, 1854
On the 27th OF February, 1858. was taken
with n violent pain I'm the region of the kid.
news, I suffered such agony that i could
hardly stand up. AS soon as possible applied
two ALLcocK's PoRous PLAsrEEs, one over each
kidney, and laid down. In an hour, 10 my
surprise and delight, the pain had vanished
and was well. 1 wore the plasters for day
or two a. precauion, and then remoNcu
tbem I nave been using ALLcocK's poRous
PLhsTzRs in my family for tho last ten years,
and have always found them the quickest
and best external remedy for colds, strains,
kinks and rheumatic affections. From my
oxperience believe they are the best plaster
,n inc world. HENRY &. NELSON.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03

Harrisburg Express, which leaves Lancaster
At 7I0 p. m, EaB GiroCt connections without
change Of CIrsl u Columbia and York.
Fast Line, west, on sunday, when nRgg. 4
VIII stop at DOwningtOw n, Co. t9svillo, P6Tkes.
burg, Mount Joy, Elizabeth ,oSn ami Middle
town.
Day Express, Fast Limo, News Express, Stall
Train, No. /, western EEprCss and pacihc ~.
press run daily.
The timG hoTe given ia EdStsrn time, or that
OF the 18th meridian, whiCo IL | minute and
seconds faster than that heretofore used.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
we Unaiienge the world.

when we say we believe, we have evidence
to prove that Shiloh's Uonsumption Cure Is
decidedly the best Lung Medicine made, In rs
much as II will cure common or Chronic
Cough In on e-halt the time aud relieve Astn-
ma, Bronchitis, whooping Cough, Group, and
show more cases OF Consumption cured thar
all others. II will cure where they fail, 1t 1,
pleasant TO take, harmless TO the youngest
child and we guarantee what we say. Price
Ice, soc, and sl.OO. II your Lungs are sore
Chest or Back lame, use ShilOh's Porous Plas
ter. Sold by II. b. Cochran, druggist, Nos. 10
and 1872 North Qneen street leb7-eodl
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
aaneaster 9ntelltgenccr.
TUESDAY EVENING. JUNE 3. 1894

u
A UnrLD's NIoBT.THOU02Ts.
srbey put her In bed I'm the darkness,
Aud bade her be quiet and good
Tut she sobbed In the silence and trembled,
Though she tried TO DO bravo as she could.
FOR the Night was 90 real. so awfull
mystery closing around,
Like the walls of a deep, deep dungeon,
That hid her from sight and sound.
80 stiHing, so empty, go dreary-
That horror OF loneliness black
ehe fell asleep, moaning and fearing
That morning would never come back.
A baby must bear Its own sorrow.
since none understands 1t Alright;
Bot at Iast, from her bosom was lifted
That terrible fear OF the night.
One evening. the hands that undressed her
Led ner out of the door close by,
And babe her look up for moment
Up into the wonderful sky,
where tho planets and consultations,
peep-rooted in darkness, grew
Like blossoms from black earth blooming,
All sparkling with silvery dew.
IL seemed to bend down to meet her,
That luminous purple dome;
She was caught up into glory.
Where her baby heart was at home;-
Like o child In Its fathers garden,
As glad rs O child could be,
In tho feeling of perfect protection
Aud nmitless liberty.
And this had been all around her,
while she shuddercd alone In bed
The beautiful. grand revelation,
With ecstacy sweet she read.
And she sank into sound child slumbGr,
All folded In splendors high,
All happy and soothed with blessings
Brcathed out OF the heart OF tho sky.
And in dreams her light, swift footsteps
Those infinite spaces trCd-
A fearless little explorer
OF the paths that lead up TO God.
The darkness now was no dungeon,
But key unto wide release;
And the Night was vision of freedom
A Presence of heavenly peace.
And doubt not that In like manner
Might vanish as with a breath,
The gloom ana the lonely terror
Ofthe Mystery we call Death.
-Luty LdrconI ia 81 Nicholas.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
rRAyELERs aUIpE.
IURNwALL. LEBANON . UoLEBkuoK
~ VALLEY RAILROAD TIMETABLE.

(NUitNwhLL, LEBANUN q UOLEBkUOK
~ VALLEY RAILROAD TIMETABLE.
SOUTHWARK.
Trains leavo Lebanon daily texcept sun
dRy) at $50 n. m, 1923 ami 7;25 y. IN,
Arrive ut Cornwall NJ $40 n. m, 1887 IN,
and $40 y, MI at Conewngo at 7:22 "A. M, l:25
and $40 y. m, connecting with the Pennsy
vania railroad FOR points East and West.
NoRTuwARD.
Trains leave Conoyngo Mt 1880 a. M, $3.50 ana
S;S y. III.
Arrive ut Cornwall at S:l5 u. M, AIS and V!lS
y. m; nj Lebanon AT $3.50 n. IN, t:30 and 0;lo y.
M, connecting nj Lebanon With philadelphia
n Reading railroad for points East aud West,
and tho Lebanon 4 fremont branch tor j Johns
town, Pinegrovc and fremont
The B:3O n. m, train Will stop only Rt Corn
wall, Colobrook ana BellnirO.
fNOLynBIA n I'ORT DEfOsir Ehib
~ ROAD TIME TABLE,
Trains now run regularly on tho Columbia
q PCyt Deposit Railroad on tho following
time!
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
We Mean Business,

AND INTEND TO PROVE CERTAIN RE.
COMPETITION
the last few months, TO our customers, as well
by US was OF an inferior character, which had
tendency TO hurt our reputation to "a con.
siderable extent, depriving us OF quite a
number of sales, and compelling us 10 sell at
lower prices than heretofore, thereby causing
US considerable loss. The object OF this We
can readily understand, ana we think II un.
lust and Il cOwardly way OF injuring our repu.
tatiOn, otherwise we would not complain (;
but as IL Is a base, cowardly misrepresenta.
tion, and reported by two of our alleged
firstClass coach makers, we intend TO protect
our rights no matter at what cost.
In justice to ourselves ana 10 sustain our
reputation as tirst-class builders OF light car.
riage work, We Will wager any amount that
we can construct rs fine a vehicle a. any in
the city, ana, Furthermore, that our raw ma
terial iu stock IL greater and OF as fnc quail.
ity as that OF the parties this may interest.
Also, that our stock OF finished vehicles on
hand comprises Ome that willco mparo with
any in the city. The above statements we
will stand responsible for, and those offended
and demanding satisfaction can be accOmmo-
dated by calling on
y. Any party accepting this offer will be
compelled to construct vehicle from mate
rial in stock and by mechanics In their present
employ. And furthermore, should we hear
any more OF these sCandalOus reports We will
prosecute the often der 10 the tull extent OF the
law. mlO-luaSw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03

iiAHs srEUiEIV mEDIUiSE. Ena
II Great english Remedy, An unfailing
opro tor lmpotency, and all Diseases that
tude, Pain in the back, Dimness OF
Vision, Premature Old Ago, and many
other diseases that lead 10 Insanity or Con.
sumption and Premature Grave. FUN par.
nculurs In our pamphlet, which we desire to
send tree by Ito every one. The specific
age, or six packages tor e5 or will be sont tree
by mail on the receipt OF the money, by adj.
dressing the agent
II. y. COCHRAN, Druggist,
hos, lii and lS9 North Queen street, LancGs-
ter, Pa.
On account or cOunterteits, we have adopt-
"l we yellow wrapper theonly genuine.
THE GRAY MEDICINE CO.,
viz" Rutialo. N.I.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
American Art.

Photographs, Engravings, etc, can be ex-
uuisitely colored with with liquid Art Colors
made from Diamond Dyes, Full directions
for this beautiful art work, with a handsome
colored cabinet photo scnt to any address for
10 cents. WELLS 4 RICHARDSON & CO.,
Rurlinp,Du w
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03

NTASTED--CANyA ron "aAs.
w kill's Compendium OF Forms, :" saith edi
llon, revised, enlarged ana 6eautihed. Most
reliable book out Send for circulars.
A. u. THOMAS, General Agent
No. Is Postofilce Ave, Baltimore, Md.
may20-2wd
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
A Policsmap Brsc.u up.

ID. Y. collins, member OF police, seventh
ward, Reading, Pa, talks this way suffered
severely from rheumatism nothing did me
any good TIL l tried Thomas Eclectric on. II
is pleasure 10 recommend It." For sale
by ii. u. Cochran, druggist, 1877 and lS9 North
Queen street.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-06-03
COLOGNE,
WoKKINamEN ARE RESPECTFULLY

w invited TO call at Bechtold's and ex.
anime goods ana learn prices OF goods Just re-
celVed That viii astonish you. Pants from
SVc ana up, Oyeralls, Jackets, ,all-wool Blouses,
Hosiery IRON &C. per pair nm to the besi
bllushi Collars, Handkerchieis. Ties, sus.
Penuels ht about One-half the usual prices /;
SounWiph phhes, iiats rom SO. up and variety
VI hotiohs HENRY BECHl OLD.
NO b2 North Queen Street.
m c,., Sign OF tho Big Stocking.
'"'o t2lyd