Smyrna times., 1884-02-06
Littleton Coke VS.. CLARA ritzpoodle
BY THE BARD OF TOWER HALL.
CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VII.
To the hotel they went-and got something to
The dinner was fnished-the meal was complete
Said the husband: "We've been in this famous
retreat
For a week, and I'm thinking that now shall
A retreat for myself and my own happy bride,
And return to the city with my wife hy my side.
nave q bad feeling in heart and i'll head
MOI u iulineSS OF blood, tor We daily been Oted-
And say, in whisper. Uf him il may please
To be eaten by midgeS and worried by fieaS,
II with watering places he haps TO be smtten,
ana VIII, by mosquitoes and landlords, be bitten ::
II his chest is contracted aud he can initiate
His lungs in chamber of seven by eight;
II good natured fellow, he really don't care
II bed-bugs gymnastic climb up on his hair;
If, when proving his own mathematics defective,
He Swears not when finding his bill, i'll perspec-
tive,
Twice what he expected-some mathematician
Having prscticed the landlord in double position,
If the man is ali this, and then really he thinks
That cgPping and bleeding are good for his
health,
And hopes that the mineral water he drinks
May atone for the loss of his mineral Wealth,
Let him go to the Springs, to the Falls, or the
But here let me hint it, my darling, to you,
If reasons my conduct hereafter should shape,
With famous resorts I'll have nothing TO 20.
cruSty old fellow was there with his wife,
Who said he intended to finish the season,
And wished he might stay there the rest of his
He looked up to see If his wife was in view,
Then answered: The Falls of Niagara, tum-
bling,
Have done what naughtl else under heavens
Have drowned with their thunder the voice of
shrew,
And silenccd woman eternally grumbling.
1t was only the Monday before We came here
had lost on a horse race some hundreds OF
dollars
Next morning, at breakfast, she said to me :
Dear,
Can you give me an eagle to buy me some col
lars?
made no reply, but looked black as December;
Took out of my pocket volume, and there
gave her hint she will ever remember;
read her the poem called Nothing to Wear.
But here comes my wife, she who wanted the COL
will ask her the question, and she will de-
clare
The emotions she felt when she asked for ten dol
And | read her the poem called Nothing to
Wear" 1"
Il felt" she replied, had you stayed from the
At home with your wife, in your own proper
place
Had you not set the law and the gospel aside,
By betting your money. and leaving your bride
Had you squandered no money for wire or cham
pagne.
Which, profting nothing, was worse than in
vain
Had you not your own pockets most sadly abused,
Through friends you had treated cigars you had
used
Had you not, disappointed, returned from the
race
With a chill in your heart. and cloud on your
face?
Had you feeling spite not have vented the
same
On your WIFE, for your losses in no way to blame.
Had you not to your manhood b0en guilty OF
treason,
With no show of defense in the province of rea-
son,
I might, with some profit, have listened when
there
You read ME the poem of Nothing TO wear
AS it was, you had Squandered some hundreds
And denied me trihe: I felt it was true,
That whatever you read, or whateer you might
In practice your precepts had nothing to do"
The husband, thus scored by the unruy member
And spurred by the laughter then shaking the
walls,
Put on an expression as black as December"
And left in hurry to look at the Falls
ITO be continued)
NoTE-The chap above alluded to afterwards
| visited Philadelphia and Of course, called al
| Tower Hall; but alas he could not be suited
| The moment lie entered the store, the nap on all
| the clothes stOOf up, and 40 careSSing would
| smooth it. The Vests seemed 10 be iHreSted with
| contempt, and the Pants painting for revenge
while all the garments SCeIied with indignation
| towards the man who bad iil-used his WIFE thai
nothing in the store was small enough for him
The truth is we make our Clothing for an amia
| BILE class of customers. .and the styles of our
| Coats will not allow man te get his back up t(
quarrel with his wife. For this reason, those who
| live happy at home are those who patrOnize
TOWER HALL, may PAL!
SIS and $40 Market street, Philadelphia.
GARITEE, MASTEN & ALLEN.