The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1884-11-06
Modern Definitions.

green apples and cucumbers. = The
symptoms are too plain to be mis-
taken.
Since they got in the habit out
west of going down cellar to escape
q cyclone it is remarkable how of
ten a man with a barrel of hard ci-
der thinks he sees q cyclone coming.
A doctor went out for a days
hunting, and on coming home com
planned that he hadn't killed any
thing. "That is because you didn't t
attend to your legitimate business, T"
said his wife.
Josh Billings: When 1 was a
young man / wus alwas in a hurry
to hole the big end of the log and
do all the lifting. Now L am older
1 seize the small end and do all the
grunting.
They were sitting on the porch of
the Grand Union, at Saratoga
care you fond of works of art, Mr..
Brown?' she asked. very" he
replied, gazing at her with undis-
guised admiratioR.-New York
Sun.
$50 Miss Skimps and Mr.. Limbs
are to be married. Well, declare
That 9ged couplel And she is old
enough to be his mother" "In-
deed she is. And for him-why he
is old enough to be her father!'-
Anon.
"Papa," said a little boy, looking
up from his Sunday school lessons,
care all our deeds in this world re-
corded?'' ''Not always replied
the old man, who is real estate
lawyer" 81 lost $3.50 once by fail
ing to record a deed. New York
Mail and Express.
Shingled all the same: First
small boy-"Hello, Bill! Bin git
tim your head shingled? Second S.
b. weeping-"No; twan't my head?"
First 8, b. howls in a dirisive and
taunting manner.
A correspondent asks if it is prep
er to dance with married lady
when her husband is looking on.
Certainly. The dancing is sure to
be very proper under such circum-
stances.
Women of the world never use
harsh expressions when condemn
ing their rivals. Like the savage,
they hurl elegant arrows, ornament
ed with feathers of purple and azure,
but with poisoned points.
A Kansas man has patented an
arrangement to be put on locomo-
tives for squirting hot water for
driving cattle off the track. Would
that the arrangement could be
made to operate on curbstone
dudes.
1t is from out of the depths of
our humility that the height of our
destiny looks grandest. Let me
truly feel that in myself 1 am moth
ing, and at once, through every in
let of my soul, God comes in, and is
everything in me.-Mountford.
"Ever had a cyclone here" asked
a Kansas man who was visiting a
country aunt in the east. GA cy-
clone? Oh, yes," said his aunt.
deacon Browns son brought one
from Boston a spell ago, but law he
couldn't ride it. Tumbled off eve
ry time he tried." st. Paul Her
aid.
Maud-"Isn't this a queer title
for a book, mother: Not Like
Other Girlsr 1 wonder what she
can be if she is not like other
girlsp' Mother-"I don't know,
unless she goes into the kitchen and
helps her mother instead of staying
in the parlor and reading novels. =
Life.
The Macon Telegraph thinks
that "in these days of politics and
it is well that the minis
ters of the gospel are redoubling
their efforts. If there is a man that
needs the missionary, he is a pro-
fessed politician"
Mrs. Polk, who is living in Ten
nessee; Mrs. Tyler, who is at Rich
mond, Va, and Mrs. Garfield, who
lives at Mentor, Ohio, three presi-
dents widows, are among the Uni
ted States pensioners. Each re
ceives $4,000 year according to the
act of congress.
The bar room as a bank: You
deposit your money and lose it.
Your time and lose it. Your char
acter and lose it. Your self-control
and lose it. Your home comfort
and lose it. Your wife's happiness
and lose it. Your children's happi-
ness and lose it. Your own soul
and lose it.
A writer in the Wellington IN.
Y. } Evening Post, gives practical
recipe for rendering boots and
shoes waterproof. If they are soak
ed in thick soap-water for several
hours, a fatty acid is formed in the
leather by the soap. This renders
the leather completely impervious
to water.
One of our Georgia exchanges Ia
ments the fact that. the proceeds of
the entire cotton crop go north and
east to pay for machinery and sup
plies that should have been produc-
ed at home. With all our resources
and material we ought to make all
we need here and retain our money
for our own mechanics and laborers.
Artisan.
Lincoln reached the age of TWEEN
ty-one years without trade or pro-
fession or manual skill of any kind.
He had earned mere 1aborer's pay
at chopping wood, running rivOr
boats and doing odd jobs around |
farms, He had helped split rails |
enough to fence in the new ILLINOIS
and begun what was to |
be career by making a stump
speech on improving the Saugamon
river. He was employed subse
quently to take a fatboat to New
Orleans, his wages being fifty cents
s day. When he reached his des-