Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-07-26
BRIGHT BITS.

MARY Anderson has been captured BY the
Prince If Wales. She has written to say that
she cutie likes the sun and air Of Britain
We know Of only one American who can
afford to buy Cuba without feeling Il, but ne
won't do IT. He SAYS he don't care TO invest
in a country where the water-pipes never
freeze. PHILADELPHIA CaH.
jim and Jack are on the track
To try race with Grover.
But Jim is lame and Jacks the same,
= . - " : : :, -CIristian AZ Work.
An experienced book agent says that the
sales OF a book through good agents should
average 4 per cent. Of the population AZ
tackled. We should think that would depend
upon the percentage OF cross dogs kept IN the
neighb0rhoOd attacked
Mas. A. Il. STEWART. now summering at
the Grand Union in Saratoga. has the habit OF
going to the hotel st0re-rOOm every saturday
10 be weighed, and as she always gives the
stOrekeeper s. for TINS service ne IS one q the
few men that believe IN letting woman have
her weigh.
WHY will You persist in drinking tea and
coffee" asked the doctor. a milk diet is the
healthiest II ontains all the elements OF the
human blood" VERY true. replied fogg,
swallowing a third cup Of coffee: ''but, then,
you know l am not blood thirsty. Boston
TrGRscripf.
Az Eastern family received a telegram
from the West announcing the sudden demise
of a relative, and they replied. send on the
remains at once" No telegram was received
in answer, but in a few days letter came
saving simply: There Amt no remains. He
war Eict by a mul."-BHrlingt0a Free Press.
ONE Of the terrible small boys: ''Does your
head ever swim. Mr.. snifkiHss" asked little
Tom POpinjay Of his sisters beau. Yes. Tom
my. suffer occasionally from dizziness re-
piled the slim. Il thought So sald Tommy /:
spa said he'd pitch You into the horse pond
only your head would keep you from SID king.
IF there is anything that VIII make man
cordially hate himself il is when ne takes q
walk about a mile TO the post Office to fnd
that he has left his keys at home, and then on
going back after them to find on opening the
box that the only thing II II Is card notify
ing HIM that his box rent IS due.-bosFofa POST
"sAY, pa, what's all this talk about the
troubles in Chinas I can't understand 1t.
s.Why, it's simple enough. my son. You see
Ii Hung Chang is quaTrelDg with Iso Tsuug
Chang while COurbef is threatening Foo Chow.
But kuangsu. or Tsal-tlen. as ne Is otherWl I
called. has decFeed the evacuation OF Lao hi
and Gao Bang. and the Occunatlon OF on
Nan. kwang Tom and Twang 81. That's all
"0h. f-ChicGzO Aetrs.
LOVE TEMPERED BY DISCRETION
Nv courage strengthened as / gazed;
The words came rushing to my lips.
The old. old tale Of love was told.
She glanced down az her finger tips.
And then she spoke in accents low,
While bushes red suffused her cheek,
LIT may De wrong me 10 ask
But how much do you get a week.
Boston Star.
I sBRIDGKT" said Mrs. WiggleswOrth 70 the
new kitchen lady from Messina. You may
Law the table," rs thy servant a hen that
she should do this thugs" queried Mr.. Wig
ellsworth. facetiously as the door closed.
s.Why notsa returned his wife, for once com
ing to time. "she is q Biddy." and Mr.. Wig
ellsworth said"H'm.' ami went out to see il
his sweet peas were coming up. and found
that with the assistance of his neighbours hens
they were.-ROckla1ld Courier.
TEMPERANCE ITEN.-Bill Snort, editor Of
the Crosby County Clarion and Farmers Vim
dicat0r. was in Austin the other day, and we
asked him about the state of morality in
Crosby county since the local option law for
bidding the sale Of intoxicating liquors had
gone into effect. "Why. there amt q prisoner
/ Ia the county jail. Ii is Is empty as the head
Of the fellow who is trying to run an oppOs!-
ton paper to mine IN Crosby county" is the
vacant condition Of the jail owing TO the local
option law?' That's just it.. The sheriff had
to 20 over into the adj0iaing county to get
drunk. and while he was gone all the prison
ers about p in all, made their escape. Oh, l
tell Won local option Is doing wonders Tor
| Crosby county. Teens Slft5ags.