Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-23
BRIGHT BITS.

THE Vassar girls favorte Roman hero
Marius.-Coltsn'bta Spectator.
WANT of finish: II shall really have to
part with you, Susan, you're SO sketchy in
your busting N'-Punch.
"YEs," said FOgg, I've met many successes
in life. That's the trouble, you know. Things
a fellow meets are always going the other
y.'-PittsbUrg Telegraph.
PROFESSIONALISM can you say IN regard
to the articulation of the bones?' Student
(dOubtfullyl-"I don't think they articulate
very much. "-COUege EechGRge.
"YEs," said the dealer in crockeryware
'send one OF our circulars to MIR. Jones. He
is getting up little in the world, and has
just hired n servant Wen have his patron
age Immediately" -SomerDille Journal.
TEMPERANCE lecturer in BROOKLYN OBJ
served that the idea of drinking beer in order
to get the nutrmcnt out of it reminded HIM
Of the COW that drank barrel of swill to get
the one potato that was lying at the bottom.
81 BELIEVE" said Henderson, 'sthat Won
take me for a fool" Replied Fogg: 81 have
been called a skeptic, Fendy. but, bad as 1
am, still have respect for every mans be-
hef-includIng yours, Fendy, including
yours"
LOUISVILLE grocers take right good care not
to lose a cent on any of their bargains. One
of these gentlemen charged lady two cents
extra for a chicken because it laid an egg
every afternoon, and she wasn't going to XIII
THE Mahrajah Runbeer Singh has started a
large firm in India for the sale of Cashmere
wines and spirits. 1t is somewhat singh ular
for Runbeer to run wines. No credit will
be given, we presume. All transactions will
evidently be for cash merely.-Fun.
A SOUTHERN exchange has an item of local
news which runs: Mrs. Simmons, while cut
ting her corn with a sickle III the field the
other day, badly cut her foot" The natural
inquiry is, where was "0ld Persimmons,"
that he did not lend her his razor ?-Detr0it
Free Press.
A WEAPON OF DEFENsE-Dumley was de-
scribing at the supper table a narrow escape
he once had from the attack of highway
man. And had you nothing to protect your
self with?' asked Mrs. Hendricks, the land
lady, very much interested "a pistol or an,
Dumley. II would have given five dollar
bill for one of these biscuits just at that time"
-PhttadelDhid call.
THEY were standing at the front gate.
won't you come into the parlor and sit
not" replied George, hesitatingly. II wish
you would" the girl went on. tits awfully
lonesome. Mother has gone out and father is
P | sskfd IN ya ms
both legs" "Then III come in little whle.n
philadelphia CAL.
MRS. B.-"Do you know, dear, that l
haven't a decent dress to my nance" Mr..
B.-''Nhy, what has become OF all those you
had IN your wedding trOusseau?" Mrs. B.
''They are all worn out.' Mr.. B.-"Well.
dear, don't know what can be done unless
we separate for awhile.n Mrs. B.-"Separ-
ate?" MIR. B.-"Yes, you go home and stay
few months, and then | win come counting
and we Will be married over again.
MANY good stories are told Of the university
career of G. 5. Calverley. the English poet
who died recently, While at Oxford the
master Of his college summoned him one day,
and said: Il don't know. Mr.. Calverley. how
it happens, but whenever L look out of the
window | see you jumping over that wall"
"Well, MASTER" replied he, "t certainly has
often struck me as odd that whenever jump
over the wall see you looking out Of the win
dow"