The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-08-30
MY NAME.

lis WIG Will al ar Oh COin'c cal uncer-
tainty, and his wife returned the look
with an air of fixed determination.
My dear, we must let him name
himself" said Mrs Smith.
''But, consider, my love. what try
ing POSITION for boy! Besides he will
make some horrible mistake"
at can't be any worse than some we
have made, Jeremiah; Just look at our
children. Is any one of 'em satisfied
with his or her name?"
"No. But for that matter, have
never forgiven my great-uncle for nam
inc me jeremiah. | have had dislike
for that prophet ever since"
eyes, that's Just the point. When
we named our eldest girl Matilda Marie
we never considered how we were hurt
inc her feelings for life. She told me
only the other day that she hated her
name and would rather be called So
phronia Ann any time. And as for
Jonathan Edwards, and Wilhelmjna
and Ulysses Bolivar, why, to hear them
talk, you would think they had drawn
tlreir names by lot out of a dictionary"
'Well, | d d have little doubt my
self at the time about Ulysses Bolivar
But you know we tried to make up for
the want of grandeur in the last name
by putting it into the first.
Eyes, and il doesn't work. No, Jere-
miah, we must let this one have fair
chance Let him name himself, say
when he is eight years old, and then we
shall have one child that is satisfied"
VERY well, my dear" and Mr..
Smith, with sigh, partly in anticipa-
ton of coming evil, buried himself in
the evening paper.
The subject of these remarks was
myself. | was unconscious of their
meaning at the time, owing to the fact
that was but two months old. So, in
blissful ignorance of my lack of a first
name, lived peacefully the space of
four years. At the end of that time |
discovered the absence through the fol-
lowing circumstances: l was at play
with another boy of my own age and
he addressed me rather disrespectfully
as Dub l resented it. ''My name
isn't 'Bub'n'
What is it, then?''
This was a poser. l did not know.
| ran into the house, and exclaimed:
''Mother, is my name Bub?'n
Her answer astOniShed me.
Il don't know, my SON.
''But | want a name. shall get lost
without one"' | cried, in alarm.
My mother replied, calmly: your
father and have decided to let you
name Yourself. So, when you are
eight years old you may choose your
own name. That will give you four
years in which to make up your mind. ="
But what Will my name be until
then?n | asked.
My mother hesitated. "Well, we will
call you simply Smith. "
"But don like that," cried.
~ is your fathers name, and you
can put up with it four years. At the
end of that time, remember, you are to
name yourself"
Name myself! / was contemplative
youth; | revolved in my mind all the
possibilities included in this unheard-of
privilege. The more | thought of it the
more | liked il. 1 would have a name
such as no other boy ever had before. 1t
would be name destined to hand down
the family of Smith to posterity. No
insignificant, one-syllabled affair, which
could be turned or abbreviated into a
nickname, but sesquipedalan appella-
ton which would strike awe into the
rest of the family.
l will pass over the four years dur
| ing which | was a nameless individual,
distinguished from the rest of mankind
only as a boy called "Smith," until
was eight years old. On the evening of
that eventful day, at the supper table,
| announced my selection of name as
Alexander Won Bismarck Smith.
My father groaned; my mother turned
pale
Just what told your exclaimed my
father, with a reproachful look.
"Well," replied my mother, recov-
ering herself after the first shock, is
it any worse than Ulysses Bolivar?'
Mr. Smith said nothing, but tried to
look resigned.
But at the end of week was tired
of Alexander Won Bismarck. 1t was
not too long. But somehow it didn't
please me. Besides, red-headed youth
in the next yard persisted in calling ME
Biz" in spite of two severe lickings
administered to him behind the barn.
And one day in reading the newspaper
| came across the very same name be-
longing to II man by the name of Smith,
/ living in Dakota. So | decided to
/ change. slept on my resolve, and in
the morning, as l was going to school,
my father called out: alexander"
l was so intent on my new name that
I failed to hear him.
alexander, you may split up thai
wood when you get home. Do you
hear?"
Yes sir: but don't call me Alex.
ander, please. I've got another name. y
"Another namer gasped Mr.. Smith
"Why, what do you mean?"
II have determined to call myself
Richard Ceur de Lion, sir"