The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-09-05
Witty sc;ntillations.

Witty ScintillationS.
The latest fashion in trousers is to
melt a dude and our him in hot
Paris Beacon.
Naomi was $50 years old before she
was married. The ice-cream business
must have got q good start during
Naomis m~aidenhood.
$50 you've been to Saratoga, Mrs
Greene?" eyes, and it's a regular
swindle. Everybody praised the water
there,as being very beneficial; and /
went to work and had made for me q
lovely bathing-suit. And if you'll be-
lieve me there wa no chance to show
it after / got there. The people don't
battle in the water /; they only drink it. .
Boston Transcript.
A crowded horse-car. Enter Mrs.
Mulcahey with q Jug. Mr.. Mahoney,
who is seated (facetiously)-@Wud I
hould the whiskey for yez, Misthress
Mulcahey?" Mrs. M. with sarcasm)-
Thank 35ez kindly, sor; but yez have
! all We can hould now, Tn thinking.o-
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The news of Mr.. Lowell's illness re-
minds the Detroit Post Of the remark
of an old Vermont farmer: aI don't
see no use," said he. in Comment send
in Ministers to England all the while
the lazy scamps don't preach half the
time when they git there"
Effects Of Heat.-Student-aHe lea ex-
pands and cold contracts" Professor
"Corrcrt. Give an example, Student
During the summer the affections Of
city people for their country relations
expand and i'll winter they contract
Philadelphia Call.
An Indiana colored lawyer, in trying
to. get his client out of custody, ex-
claimed: "Da is a law OATS called .hab-
his carcass an TIE goin' to hab de car
cass OBJ dat client o. mind, dead o.
alive
What + You slowing up for ?n
yelled a freight conductor to an engi-
neer on n of Vermont roads.
"Why, we've run over q book agent"
"Drat it all, then, why don't you keep
on? We can't kill him unless the
whole train runs over him. "-Burling-
ton Free Press.
"Well, Jonn," said old man Jordan.
to his young friend, s.you have just
been married, I hear" eyes, sir, !"
he answered, with a spring-morning
smile, Gust a month ago, and I want
you to go up to dinner with me to-day.n
Have you got o cook ?" "Non well,
my boy, s'pose we go to the restaurant
this time. You must remember I had
a young wife once myself. .
Prospective Bride-"How long ought
a honeymoon to last, map"
Ma-aThey usually last only q few
weeks, but I knew one to last three
months"
How delightful! Who was the
bride?"
Twas"
Perhaps mine will, too.a
II fear not. The country is not
eIotiDAeu Will seGtiOHdI ISSUES now.
"Why, what difference does that
make?"
II was married to your father the day
before he went off with the three months
volunteers. Philadelphia Call.
"John," said the proprietor Of a sea-
side restaurant to his hired man, you'll
have to take a spade and go down to the
beach and see if you can find a clam !;
the one we made the chowders with is
missing. Been eaten by one of the VS.
itors, I guess. Some of those city peo-
pie want the world, by jingsln-Som-
erville Journal.
Yes, a baby is the most dependent Of.
the animal creation. He is unable to
help himself; but he soon gets over that
and helps himself to everything he can
lay his hand to. Sometimes he wants
the earth and tries very hard to get it.
Boston Transcript.