Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-05-14
PLEASANTRIES.

BATTER is the name of tenor singer
in New York church choir. He is oc-
casionally put out by the first bass
Exchange.
AN English paper says no poet has vet
worn the garter. This will surprise the
admirers of Ella Wheeler. .NeaU Or
leans PiccgUne.
"BoYs these days." remarked a
street urchin, as he picked up the stub
of cigar and pulled away at it, "begin
where grown people leave off. "-Pha.
0delzohi0 Gail.
AN Indiana boy was sentenced to four
years imprisonment for stealing suit
of clothes. Out in Indiana it is a pretty
serious thing to lose suit of clothes
Burlington free Press.
Spa asked Walter, "what is a
Buddhist % ''A Buddhist, my son."
replied pa, sis a-well-a sort of horti-
cultural chap-you've heard Of budding
fruits, you know. "-TSnaes-D Democrat.
CHESTERFIELD CHEEK, '84-"Is this
seat engaged?" she-"Yes, sir, am
keeping it for gentleman. @. c.,
Glowing Observation-Disclosures, he is
here" (Sits down. )-Harvard LAM
pooh.
WHAT'S tea this morning ?" asked
Frink of his grocer the other day.
"Sixty cents" "Well, amt that too
steepW "Of course its too steep; YOU
wouldn't roast tea, would you ?"-Ihe
Judge.
THERE is at least one spot on this fair
earth where the base ball fend cannot
rrS4T hi Il n LII
Covington, KY, is posted this sign:
Chicago Herald.
"No," said Miss Flora, zone cannot
call Mrs. Greece very handsome OF very
entertaining, but there is such an air Of
interest about her. She doesn't live
with her husband, you know. "-Boston
Transcript.
A PHILADELPHIA has completed a
book of Welsh hymns, with music. The
hymn commencing: SO dewch III dyfro-
edd, cyma'r dodd o Dewch yr Argiwydd
sydd yn galw," is full of beautiful mag
cry and hard words and nearly exhaust
ed font of s'd's" in the composition.
NoTr5stoaO'a Herald.
ASTRONOMERS tell us In their own sim
pie Ineligible way that the gradual
frightening of the days is due to the
"obliq1lity of the ecliptic to the terres-
trial horizon" This ought to set at rest
the foolish idea that the days are longer
because the sun rises earlier and sets
ater.--Pittsburg Telegraph.
STOCK gambling is much older than
some people suppose. They forget that
Moses owed his whole success in life to
hi 6 IL I'LL
on the Nile.-Bost0rs Transcript. We
have also heard at some time past that
Pharaoh's daughter also got a little
prophet out of them.-BostO,s Post.
ST DON'T think Misther Flaherty was
nominated lagally," said Michael.
''Phat's that?" asked Timothy. ''Oi say
Misther Flaherty must have got hisnom
ination illagally, for all was quiet
and PEACEFUL they till me, and d1vil
foight of amy koind at the caucus. -
Boston Transcript.
On, yes, we know how to cast gloom
over man. If we just want to agonize
him we say: ''I cut mighty pleasant
notice of you out of some paper this
morning, but I've lost it. And then
he frantically wants to know what paper
it was and we can't remember, and it
drives him nearly to madness.-Boston
Post.
CT can't pay that bill just now; you
will have to wait little for the money"
Cali right SIR" cheerfully responded
the boy, as he seated himself and un-
folded copy OF the morning paper
tThem's the orders of the boss" s'What
are the orders of the boss ?" demanded
the gentleman, sternly. Sim to wait
for the money"
ONE reason, undoubtedly, why the
young man awaits the boating season
with SO much Impotence is that he can
take his girl out sailing, and repeat the
old, old conundrum, ''Shall I hug the
shore" expecting the delicious answer,
eff there isn't anything nearer than that
which will answer the purpose. BUR-
lingtora Free Press.
This morning woman applied at the
surrogate's Office for letters of admins
tration on her husbands estate-the es-
tate being claim of few dollars
against the city. "Did your husband
leave any personal property?" asked
Surrogate Lord. "Indeed, he did, re-
piled the widow, ''three boys and two
girls. Troy Times.
LITTLE NOIl- why are ugQLu1uR
bugs called blessings mammal"
Mamma" 'Blessings?' I never heard
them called blessings" Little Nell
'sBut they are in this book" Mamma
-tAre you sure?" Little Nell-"Oh,
yes. Here it is: Blessings brighten as
they take take their flight. '"-Pbilo-
delphiG Coll.
MISS AMELIA A5.TEE1 (who has just
returned from trip abroad for several
years. =" Why, Mr.. st. Clair, mis-
took that gentleman with whom I was
conversing, for you'll" Mr.. st. Clair
with disgust: =" What! that ignowa-
mus? how howwible !" Mis- Amelia
And I thought how much
you had improved. '-Bostoaa Post.
PENsIvE beauty in Mexico: I saw a
futtering gang of convicts go up the
street to work, led by soldier with a
revolver in his hand and followed bv
two more. Their clothing was of all do