Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1884-02-20
4 LADY.L;KE COW.
Wy Cloi Man Hankered for tho
iuyI uf SIrlI lnri,h,

Wy Croi Man iIankerei for tho
Iiupd uf SIck Parish.
Nothing m)re than g0ol, kind
carteI m | gentle mllch COW rounds
ifanl tcmpcrs down the many diff
uities stm'liAg in the way of family
Onlentmcnt. When ParsOn Jilminson
moved into our ncighborhood, his first
question was, "Who's got gentle COW
'or sale?" O.d Nick Parish, one Of
rhe best-known and most upright men
n the community, had Il gentle COW. If
Y man wanteda fiery, unsubdued horse.
Nick had him; and if he wanted a
horse so quiet in demeanor that he re-
Trained from lashing the flies, Nick
had him. In fact, Nick had anything
that anybody wanted to buy, and one
thing peculiar about his ability to
furnish the great market Of wants
was that every animal he sold was ew
actly what he represented it to be.
as she good milker?" asked Parson
Jilninson when he had gone to Nicks
lot and begun an inspection Of tho
COW.
"Best in the land, and the one fine
pint about her is that she'll give
enough milk for any family. When
ever she changes hands she sizes up
the new family, and if she amt broad
enough to accommodate all concerned,
why she changes her gauge But she
is not prodigal, / bought her from a
hotel man. She had been giving
enough milk for all the guests, but
when she saw that only had a small
family, she changed her metre and
came down to our measure
II never before heard Of such a
cow," said the parson.
"Nobody else, and if my wife didn't
try to impose on her | wouldn't sell
her for anything You see my wife is
a very ambitious woman and wants
this one COW to furnish enough milk
for the operation of an entire dairy
form. I will not allow even my wife
to monkey with the affections Of this
animal Just look at her Did you
ever see anything more lady-like?
There she stands, the very picture of
courtesy, willing to inundate the entire
community with milk"
"What is the least you'll take for
her." the parSon added
"Nyell, I'll tell you. If it want for
the pints I've presented, wouldn't
sell her for no price, but as it is, you
may have her for hundred dollars"
The money was paid without
hesitation, and in triumph the parson
drove the COW home. Greatest COW
in the world" he said to his wife, as
he turned the animal into the back
yard. "The man had sentimental
reasons for selling her or we would
never have been her fortunate pos
SCISSORS"
The next day was Sunday, The
parson had an appointment to preach
at the neighboring church, but when
the time for services arrived, the par
son was seen crossing the common,
carrying an army gun. As he ap-
preached Parish's house, Parish was
seen to leap the fence, and start off in
practical and commercial-likc man
ner toward the woods. The parSon
discovered him, threw up his gun and
fred, and so much powder had his in
dignation demanded in the execution
of his sanguinary design, that the bull
let. long after the excitement had SUBJ
sided was heard whizzing around tho
ueighborhood.
"What on earth is the matter, par
SON." asked a dozen voices, as the
minister approached the church and
proceeded to load his gun,
Bought COW from that scoundrel.
Told me she was gentle. Wife got up
this morning to milk her | thought
I heard mutterng5 and other sounds
expressive of dissatisfaction, and
stepping to the door, l saw my wife
going over the ash hopper. My wife
is woman of unusual agility, yet [
saw no reason why she should sail
around through the air on a Sunday
morning, 50 l stepped out and told her
to hold up, when l saw my lady-like-
COW, raking up ridges and acting as
though she were displeased | spoke
to her and she darted at Inc, | tried
to avoid her, but failed | went over
the ash hopper pretty much as my
wife had done. This was not the end
of the performance. The COW could
not get around behind the ash hopper,
but she made it sensational for us by
reminders that she was still in circu-
lation. The dog came over and tell
among us. Then wash-Uoard, u
brass kettle, the cat and the hired boy
came over. never saw anything like
it. Every time looked up, some
thing would strike me. After awhile
she began to throw dirt and chips over
until thought we would all be buried.
I yelled for help, and old Mrs. piggle-
worth, kind old soul who lives near,
came to see what was the matter
good-hearted old creature. The heath
en- who sold me the COW said that she
would size us all up with an idea to
furnish the requisite amount Of milk
and probably that's what she was doing.
but am not used to such estimates
being made on my family. Finally
| ,bo tbo nourtonpc 1ni,nnl iuD,pa,