The Florida agriculturist., 1884-07-23
VARIETIES.

ia, SAID Chicago small boy, as
he observed man coming up the street
who seemed to wish the sidewalk was a
little wider, ''is that delegate ?" 81
do not know, my son" answered the
old gentleman; she has the symptoms at
least"
doctor, / want to thank you for your
great patent medicine" 'It helped
you did it?' asked the doctor, very
much pleased. ''It helped me wonder
fully" "How many bottles did you find
it necessary to take?" "Oh, | didn't
take any of it. My uncle took one bot
tie and l am his sole heir.
A species of lizard, called the hellben-
der, is now considered delicacy by ep-
icures. 1t is about ten inches in length,
OF a dirty mud color and provided with
four legs and tail. The flesh is said
to be delicious, but taking the name and
appearance into consideration, what a
courageous man was he who first ate
one
A little child who was playing near
bonfire suddenly tripped and fell into the
flames. A sportsman happened to be
passing, and his highbred dog Jumped
into the flames and pulled the child out.
The frantic mother came swooping down
from the house screaming:
''Is he hurt ? Is he hurt ?'
Dang, it, yes, ma ami" exclaimed
the sportsman, who arrived at the spot
Just before she did; don't you see the
feathering is all burnt off his tail 2"
''Did you know papa when he was
boy?" asked a Somerville urchin of his
mother, as she doled him out half a
dozen OF strawberries at the table.
''Why, what a question, child Ger
tainly not. l didn' know your papa un-
til he was young man. Why do you
ask ?''
ooh, cause | wanted to know
"What for ?''
"'cause you give him more strawber-
ries than you give me, and you've known
me ever since | was born"
My son, you may invent new elec-
trio light, you may improve the tele-
phone until it can be talked to, you may
even revise the tariff to satisfy both
parties, you may write dozen books,
you may save a sinking State, you may
make your name famous, your house
great and your memory blessed, and then
you will not have as big funeral as
Tom Thumb, who never did anything in
his life except to grow less in fifty years
than most boys grow in ten. And he
only did that because he could not help
it.-B"Iington Hamkeye
\ colored man in Mississippi being on
trial for working on Sunday his counsel
pleaded in mitigation that he had for
merly lived in Arkansas, where Sunday
was little more observed than other days
OF the week. In his charge to the Jury,
the Judge said ''The prisoner NAV not
have known that he was breaking hui
man laws, = but he certainly knew he
was breaking the ten commandments
itentiary staring him in the face, sprang
to his feet, and, with appraised hands,
exclaimed: Fore God, Judge, | didn't
know it; They mos passed ,r1,ih Tired IN
1rkdnsGs.
a Mexican war veteran, now living in
Detroit, relates that when Col. A. I.
McReynolds raised his company, of the
Third Dragons and sent the men into
camp for instructions previous to going
to Mexico, regular army drill sergeant
was given the task of Licking into
shape" the raw recruits. The position
of the soldier was something with which
they obviously had little acquaintance;
neither did they seem to present very
martial appearance on the whole. The
fiery drill sergeant after a few hours of
unpromising work, delivered himself of
the following pyrotecnical instructions
Hold up your headsv ~
Look fierce ~
Look like the devil
Look like me !p'-Detroit Free Press.