The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1884-01-04

/, Ia most large towns residents call
first on newcomers, is rula laid down
by writer in the BdzGr. In Washing
ton this etiquette is reversed. and new
corners call, first on the residents.
Every one. from the highest officials
down, returns these, and after this
ceremony the caller generally finds him
self invited 10 the receptions OF the
President and his Cabinet. the houses
Of the officers OF the army and navy.
the Judges Of the Supreme Court, and
those Of Senator'S and Representations
Formerly no etiquette Was necessary ~
the White House; every one rushed in
tota reception without the fovnality OF
cards.
The social arrangements of Washing
ton are SO convenientthat IL is thousand
pities that this etiquette does not 90 into
practice all over our land. rs no resi-
dent OF large city can possibly know
whether her dearest friend is IN town
unless informed OF thar fact. This does
not, rs some might fear. expose society
TO the entree Of unwelcome intruder>.
Tact, which is the only guide through
the mazes OF society, will always
enable anyone to avoid TN unwelcome
intimacy or doubtful acquaintance,
should such person call first. Now
the question comes up-and here doc
tors disagree when may lady call by
proxy, or when may she send her card?
and when must she call in person?
After dinner-party lady must cali
in person and inquire il the lady of the
house Is at home. For other entertain
rnepts it Is allowable former to send her
daughter. her governess, or her maid
with her card, or she may send her
card by mall. In sending to inquire
for . persons health. cards may be-
sent BY servants with kindly message.
No first visit. however, should be re-
turned by card oaly. This would be
considered slight unless il wore fol-
lowed BY an invitation. But the size Of
New York, the great distances, the busy
life Of . woman Of charities aud large
family, aud an immense circle of friends
often render . personal visit impossible.
She may be considered 10 have done
her duty il she in her turn ask. her new
acquaintance TO call OH her on speci-
fed day. We have thus far looked at
the question from the standpoint of
lady who has an assured position and
too many friends. We will now look
upon 1t from the light Of person who
has no Tor very few acquaintances and
NO introductions. We have considered
the question negatively. We are all
more or less newcomers 10 this new
land; we are all carpstbaggers. or may
be; so we will look at it affirmatively.
We will suppose that young couple
marry and 60 to Milwaukee: they do
not know anybody: they are alone.
The husband makes his business friends;
they take seat in church; they have
q house. The young. bride feels lonely.
She would like to know Mines. A.. B,
and c; but they do not call upon her;
she is afraid to call upon them; she is
unhappy. She ssks what shall she do.
Undoubtedly did Mines. A, 3. and G.
know this they would go and call.
Certainly the iarge-minded and kind
hearted would. But they are preoccu-
pied; they know nothing Of her; they
are busy. It is hard position, and
one which is the cause Of mitch social
strife.
The Count E,,rowski. in his book on
Americas. mentions the fact that ''every
American woman is afraid Of every
other lie was sn old aristocrat, and
he looked upon our attempts at. exclu-
siveness with a derisive scora. He
said that the habits Of American life
were those of the burgers OF prosperous
town. like Hamburg and Antwerp. that
they seldom. il ever, rose much above
q contracted elegance. with no entour-
age Of nobility. but iiiat he would hesr
the wife Of one respectable doctor talk of
keeping the wife oil anO her respecta-
hle doctor 'Out uf society," aS the
Countess Ida might speak OF the pre-
sumption OF her former dressing-inaid.
There is an excl,is:veness which is
honorable and ri rht. No one csh pre-
tend thai there j. mol. S"oae prsteuds
that Mrs. Brown or Mr.. Jones is 10
have an nnsyinpath-te p.rSou foisted
upon her. Size is ,.r,s-:.r ben own
friends, AMI she mas with proprirtv
say that Mrs. Clark is unSympathetic
and not to her taste. There are Mrs.
Clarks in this world who show very
great want Of delicacy. in forcing them
selves upon society. just as there are
nervous and timid su0bs who are think.
ing Of the shadowy boundary line. their
position; both are to be avoided.
We see NO less Of caste, however. iD
business Of first call. even should il
not be returned. A young woman ia a
new city who has not been introduced.
IL she Is sure Of her responsibility and
that Of her husband. may certainly call
On her e,ergymsn's family. that OF h r
Doctors. and her opposite neighbor, if
kind offices cali for her sympathy.