The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-11-01
AN EDITORS DREAM.
BY SCOTT WAY.

An EDlTOkS DkEAMs
BY SCOTT WAY.
Tread by the author before the Peninsula,
Press Association during the literary exer
Uses OF the Annual Convention on steamer
Breakwater.1
Once upon time village editor sat
in his quiet sanctum industriously pc.
rusing the political editorials in his
daily city exchanges. At length that
which he read began to have its legiti-
mate effect; the editor nodded once,
twice, thrice; his eyes closed, the CITY
daily fell from his nerveless fingers,
and three flies lit upon his bowed bald
head and balanced all, and swung cor.
ners. and swung corners and crossed
/, over, and promenaded all around. to
the music of the rythmical editorial
snore. The village editor was asleep;
and sleeping, the village editor
dreamed:
He sat at his desk with weary fingers
and aching head. The last local item
had gone into type, the last inside read
ing notice had been set up, and the
youngest apprentice stood grimly by,
with lines of impotence upon his
brow and daub of ink under his left
eye, waiting for more copy. Suddenly
there was step without, the door
opened, man entered, and taking the
vacant chair in front of the editors
desk, to which the editor had politely
called his attention. he said:
''My dear sir; my name is John w.
Smith. am subscriber to your pa
per, as you very we'll know, and being
in town to-day thought would take
the opportunity to call and tell you that
like your paper, all but one thing; you
don't print enough.matter on the tariff
question. Poetry and stories and funny
paragraphs and local items may do well
enough to fill up paper with in ordi-
nary times, but just now the country is
awake to the tariff question, and if you
want to keep your paper alive you've
got to give your subscribers light on
the tariff. You should not have less than
three columns of editorial and five col
umns of extracts on the tariff every is
sue. That's all I've got to say, and
hope you II bear it in mind. By the way,
lowe you for two years subscription,
and one of these days FL call in and
pay it. Don't forget to let yourself
s~S'SO OA viz GOOu-Oy0.
As the man who wanted more light
on the tariff passed out, a little nerv-
ous-looking person came in and took
the vacant chair.
'Ah!' he said, with smile that
didn't look strong enough to be out,
''ah, my dear man, l see you are alb
sorbed in thought, as an editor always
should be, And that reminds me that
you arc neglecting almost totally neg
lecting-science. Too much Of poll
tics, too much of politics, my dear
man; your paper will never grow in
circulation while yon neglect science
for politics. You should devote not
less than four columns a week to sci
ence. That is all came in to say. Be
in some day and pay you for my SUBJ
scrlption. Good day; don't forget to
give us plenty of science"
The footsteps of the man who wanted
science had not gone beyond the edi-
tors hearing, when third visitor en-
tered and took the vacant chair as if
he were accustomed to sit in it.
II am sorry to note that you are neg
Letting politics just at this important
period" he said, kindly, but gravely.
"You should strive to keep the vital
principles of our party constantly be
fore the people.
II like your paper in all but its lack in
this respect, and some day, perhaps at
the beginning Of next year, / will SUBJ
scribe for il. see it now every week
at Browns Office. If you would write
about five columns Of fresh political
editorials every week. you'd see your
paper going right up in circulation.
That's what l told Brown YESTERDAY,
and he agreed with me. A story and
an article on science occasionally.
with little local matter and a few
marriage and death notices to please
the women are all well enough, but
can tell you that country paper to
amount to anything and have Influence.
has got to be full Of political matters.
That is all want to say. When Won
want any points on politics. I'll be glad
to help you out And, by the way;
don't forget that I am candidate for
the Legislature. Good day."
The next visitor that took tho va
cant chair which sat in front of the
village editors desk spoke as follows:
Il stopped in to-day, sir, to tell YOU
tnat 40 not want your paper any
longer. In some respects it is a good
paper, but you do not print enough
news matter. You should print atlesst
a full page Of news. l don't care any,
thing about your protective tariff and
tariff for revenue only, or ANYTHING of
that sort. want the news when I
take paper. I want full account of
murders and suicides and railroad col
lisions and divorce cases. Don't send
me the paper any longer. I'll come in
and pay you what l owe you when /
have sold my corn; good day. "a
And then there was light step at the
door, and . person wearing severe
countcnance and shawl came in and
took tho vacant chair.
Il am very sorry he said, in meas
ored tones, and with q fixed. critical
stare at the end Of the editors nose, II |
am very sorry to notice that you are |
giving IN your columns SO little atten-
ton to the cause OF Prohibition--the no.
BILE cause Of Prohibition. You must
rouse Yourself upon this great question,
and give your readers . page of it |
weekly. ! am not subscriber Of your I
paper. but ! borrow it every week Of
my neighbor, and loan him the Banner
NJ Li0I IN axchanOa. an Won ,r,ilt <~h