davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27
The Diminutive Widow.

The little Widow Thumb is casually
| a resident of New York and welcome
visitor in considerable number of
rather wealthy ami fashionable fam
lilies. She is now Il lads so mature and
dignitied, Notwithstanding her dimin-
utlve size, that nobody in the way of
social intercourse dares, or is much in
clined, to treat her as a human tritie.
] o see her in the midst of q round OF
calls is to get the impression, at first
sight, that your ewes have somehow be-
come telescope inversely, so exactly is
she miniature of the conventional
Games of ceremonious society She
dresses for an afternoon of formal visit
ing in Il toilet of semi-mOnrning. suita-
bic in style for quiet woman Of FORTY
tive-which age she acknowledges
and orders from livery stable one of
those coupes that, rs to liveried driver
and general appearance, are scarcely
distlnguishable from private equipageS.
Provided with a visiting list,
and easily commanding an air
OF well-bred balance. she lacks only in
stature to lie the ideal of middle-a aged
millionaire's wife. Of course, she at
tracts staring attention whenever she
al ghts; but her manner of silent re-
proof is usually effective as a cure for
impudence, and she j. able to 90 about
with far less annoyance than might be
supposed. She is about three feet and
half in height, or a TO t more than
when she was put on exhibition by Bar
mum, and it was only within a few
years that she stopped growing. at
would not surprise me-" she lately sad,
IF | should take to growing again at
any time. My case is one of retarded
development, you know. and may vet
catch up with the rest of YOU. The
ma GRITTY OF the dwarfs exhibited are
really children, phenomena'ly small,
but by no means the adult midgets
that they are represented TO be, and
consequently they grow out of the pro-
fess on. That has been the case with
many freak as the showmen call
them" .
The pertiEence of the fair. fat and
forty. inch widow IS typic here is the
fact that she has 4 sutton for her hand
The account current in her circle of ac-
quaintance says that Mr.. John Spencer
Coyne, n mine operator, who came east
ward u year ago with acomfortable for
tune, began to seriously WOO her soon
after making her acquaintance in this
CITY. lie is handsome man of no
more nan forty, with cultured taste.
good morals: and about a hundred
pounds. his stature being limited to an
inch or so more than five feet. That he
is deeply in love with Mrs. Thumb is
not doubted by any of her mutual
friends, but he does not seem to have
made much progress toward capturing
the estimable dwarf 1t is said to be
her firm intention not to marry again.
NJ y. Cor. Albany Herald.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27
USEFUL AND SUGGESTIVE.

"A, Georgia melon-grower writes
that lie finds the best success on the
thinnest sandy soil manured heavily in
the hill ''' hH'''t r7ra''S
1t is better to sell COW from the
herd to get money to buy feed than to
have q larger herd of half-starved cows.
-CAicGgo Times.
The products of the farm are the
foundation and only possible hope Of
the business and commerce of the
world -New, England Farmer.
The widest colts. if properly
handled, often become the quietest and
safest, generally developing into the
most enduring horses.-7roy Times.
There is something neat in we'll
trimmed tree, to say nothing of the adj
vantage gained by cutting away the
useless dead wood and letting in plenty
Of air and sunlight
Study to adapt buildings, trees and
drives to the natural surface of the
lawn. 1t is an expensive operation to
move earth, even where it can be done
by 8 team and scraper. Gentle, natu-
raj fluctuations can never be improved.
"A common bread-pudding may be
improved by putting q sort of finish on
top of the whites of two eggs. two table,
spoonfuls of sugar and four tablespoon
fuls of cocoanut. II you choose you
can use chocolate in place of cocoanut.
Boston Globe.
DO not let boiled potatoes stand in
the water moment after they are
done; drain it all off; cover the kettle;
some very painS-taking cooks remove
the potatoes from the kettle. and, after
laying towel on a tin plate, put the
potatoes on it, cover them, and put
them in the oven to dry, leaving the
oven door open.-E. T. Post.
"A small piece of resin dipped in
the water which is placed in vessel
on a stove, will add q peculiar property
to the atmosphere of the room, which
will give great relief to all persons
troubled with a cough. The heat of
the water is sufficient to throw off the
aroma of the resin. and gives the same
relief that is afforded by a combustion,
because the evaporation is more dur
able. The same resin may be used for
weeks.-M T. Times.
In reply to the question: Ought .
church member to be disciplined for
keeping race-horses, and running and
trotting them for prizes at our county
and State fairs?" religious paper
says: prizes to stimulate farmers in
improving the breeds of their cattle,
and the quality and yield of their prod
uce, are in every respect admissible and
right; but in testing the best speed of
horses entered for exhibition, there is
always large amount of betting on
one side or the other. This is gam
bling. and we are sorry to say that it is
fast becoming an enormous evil in
agricultural fairs from one end of the
country to the other"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27
The Price OF a Sleeper.

What's the price Of a sleeper"' in
porter at the Michigan Central depot a
night or two since.
"a sleeper, sir? The price of sleep
That's what 1 said. Are you a
blockhead What's the price Of q
sleeper?'' .4.. .'.
.'Yes. sir; certainly, sir. 1 couldn't
tell you, SIR"
Cant say? You porter and don't
know the price of 3 sleeper? You are
"But can find out for you. SIR"
interrupted the porter, ''If you'd like
to know. Want to buy one, sir?"
"Yes, want berth from here to
Chicago; center berth, lower right
hand side. I sleep on my right side
and don't want to face the aisle?r
"Oh, sir. see. You don't want to
buy sleeper. You only want one
berth in sleeping-car. Yes. sir, two
dollars. sir. Walk right aboard, SIR"
'.Here, porter (handing him a billy,
60 and get me ticket You can keep
the change"
The porter went off in high glee. AZ
the ticket-office window he unfolded the
crumbled bill and his jaw fell. 1t was
only two-dollar bill. "rll get even
with him." the porter was heard to
mutter. Then he bought an upper
berth for e1.5O and received fifty cents
change. 'l'n tell him all the lower.
berths are gone So could keep the
change, could II Well, / wu."-Ose
troll Posi-
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27
HER RIGHTHAND-AAN

When only little fodder, Dan
Was always his mothers right-hand-m man:
Rocking the babies, Gus and Fred,
Tucking them in the trundiebed; ra
Ready to run up stairs or down,
Or OF on errands without q frown;
Ready to do, like faithful son, y
whatever his mother wanted done.
Her lightest call he was quick to obey;
Ready to leave his work or his play
Without q murmur: and were she i'll,
He nursed her then with exceeding Skill
And dainty dishes for her prepared,
And for her comfort tenderly cared
His mothers blessing. her right-hand-manl
At twenty-one he'd right to plan
For a home of his own-this loyal Dan
And choose from among the girls wife
To share the comforts of welded life.
Mother was ailing, and needed more
Her sons assistance than ever before,
And Dan would his marriage for years defer
Ere causing one Jealous pang to her.
If wishing would bring them, every boy -
Would be to his mother q source of Joy,
And never a grief or a pain impart
To her sifectionate, faithful heart.
Angels above our deeds record:
Love brings ever its own reward; -r
And It's never q burden or grief 10 Dan
To serve as his mothers right-hand-man.
And she? Why, bless you! go much of Joy
And pride she feels in her precious boy
To her face as bright as a maiden's blush.
And OH tits pretty sight to meet
This loving couple upon the street;
And many a maiden smiles at Dan,
And enyies the mother her right hard-man.
-Josephine Pollard, in A. \. Ledger.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27
Choosing q Home.

There are great many things to
taken into account in choosing ones
home. Among these are questions of
health and Of educational, social and
religious opportunity.
As to health. much depends upon the
quality of water, of soil, of drainage
and situation. In places where rain
falls stately or frequently. good water
can always be secured by building els
terms and by the use of filters. Ii soils
are damp they may be drained. but this
involves a large bill of expense. Local
tiles where drainage is impossible or very
difficult are undesirable places. so far
forth, for homes. In chosen the site
of ones house, respect should be had
to the winds prevailing in the locality,
and protection against these should be
sought. The house should be so situat-
ed that its drainage shall be easily and
healthfully provided for, and that also
the outbuildiDgs do not mar its appear
ance or annoy its inmates. As far as
possible southern exposure should be
sought, and the house so arranged in
side that the sun shall have free access
to all the living and sleeping rooms, and
most access to those most constantly
and numerously inhabited. Rooms on
the north side of the house are tole--
able in summer and sepulchral in
winter. The sunny side of any hospital
is the healthful side, and so of every
street and every house.
Where there are children, regard
should be had to opportunities for ed
ucating them suitably. In this matter
more depends on the intellectual. social
and religious atmosphere of the COM
munity than upon any other one thing
In many of the old New England towns
in the last generation the facilities for
education in the form of schools were
very few, but the children grew up IN
der influences that were of the very
best and made most excellent men and
women.
If one is dependent upon church
privileges for religious growth and en-
joyrnent, it is matter of moment that
the home be within reach of such OPP
portunities of this sort as are congenial
and desirable. .r. rr. f..s'I
If one is dependent upon the market
for supplies or for customers, nearness
to market is certainly to be sought.
However wise and careful one may be
in choosing . home, whether in city or
country, there will always be disad-
vantages to contend against. These,
when they can't be cured, must be en-
dured or ignored. and Offset against
what is agreeable and desirable. Tho
bitter and sweet 60 together and are
mingled in every human ife.-N Y.
Tribune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27

lighthouses are as good or even better
than those that grow in the open
orchard. provided the temperature is
properly managed. They mnst not
have too much moisture when ripening.
The same may be said of grapes and
pineapples.- : Washington National Re-
publican. .''i- ii'H p i','. 81 F.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27
At a recent auction sale in Wash

AT recent auction sale in Wash.
ington of the effects of a colored
woman. who was for years the house
keeper for Thaddeus Stevens, snuff.
box, presented to the great commoner
by the Territory of Colorado, was pur.
chased by Mr.. Thomas Donaldson fol
S31. The box bears the following in.
scription: 10 Hon. Thaddeus Ste.
vens, from Colorado Territory, through
II. p. Bennett, delegate. When Old
Thad takes snuff. Colorado will sneeze.
Pixies Peak gold. Washington Star.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27

There is some comfort for q child
who swallows twO-cent piece, as one
child or another is in the habit of doing
almost daily: an eminent French ply
stefan says that copper absorbed into
the system is sure preventive Of
cholera. -B0ston transcript.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27

The Buffalo Express reports thai
the Whirlpool Rapids Park Company al
Niagara ! falls has secured the widow Of
OF Captain Webb as an attraction" fos
the coming season.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27

Rochester, N. Y, has . man seyes
feet eleven inches in height.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-06-27
FOR HIMSELF ALONE.
BY T. W. SPEIGHT.

An Interesting Tale of Reversed Identities.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
Flaws in Our Journalism.
Philadelphia News

Philadelphia News.
 Matthew Arnold says tha, on the whole he cannot approve of the American news paper, and the newspapers very generally agree that they cannot approve of Mat thew Arnold. Whether the apostle of sweetness and light would have thought better of the newspapers if they had dealt more kindly with him is an open question. Probably not. how ever, Tor Arnold. whatever his faults may be, is candid and sincere in the ex- pression of his opinions. And 1t is worth while for the newspapers 10 recognize whatever is just in the criticism of intelli- gent foreigners upon their methods. There is force in Mir. Arnold's remark that the newspapers of this country bandy names and regulations about too freely and talk with too hippant and careless a tone about matters which are of serious and vital interest to individuals and fam ilies. They too often show no regard for private rights, and exhibit painful in sensibil,y to the promptings of delicacy which should lead to reticence touching afflirs of which the public has no right to know. They too often regard every newly-discovered mine from which a scandal or a sensation can be worked up, as so much grist to their mill, and they work II for all II is worth, regardless of the disastrous effect such a course may have upon the parties interested. And the tendency among even reputable jour nalists Is to countenance such ruthless violations of deccncy on the ground that true progressive journalism furnishes the news and all the news, and cannot pause to consider whether individual interests are affected by il or not. With some newspapers il appears to be the rule to publish the damaging statement first and investigate it afterward. They appar- ently forget the important truth that a statement published in widely circu- lated journal can seldom be adequately corrected. The correction in a subsequent issue rarely catches up with the original story. There IS great room for improve ment Tn that respect among large class of public journals, and the reader has his part to bear in bringing about the inn prevement, for the plea which reckless sensationalism adopts Is that the public demands and will have the spicy scandal and the catching sensation. and hence the newspaper is forced to meet the de
 mand. This is not true in any essential particular. The public demands bright, readable, progressive newspaper. and this can be furnished withou, the disrepu,able resort to the odious and odorous scandal We have good newspapers in this coun- try-iar better than Tn any other-buI there Is room for improvement, and the newspaper people should be wise enough and slgacious enough to avail lhemselve: of anything that vii! make journalism higher. purer and better.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01

unhappy faux pas. It is reported that during a recent visit to Queen Victoria, persisting in singing John Browns Body"--in spite of the frantic pantomime of the American minister-the interview broke up in panic. Naturally the idea of John Browns body" (her John Brown's) "a mouldering in the grave" !" was narrowing. It was case of mis- taken identity. but the effects were fatal ; his star in that quarter has set. In the last campaign he nominated himself for congressman, ran, and got thar" It is according to the eternal fitness of things that he represents Texas district. There is vastness, an responsiveness, a longi- tude and latitude, as it were, about him, peculiarly fitted to represent that great state.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
Exceeding Prudence.
Bismarck Tribiinc. :


 Al the express office the other day a ranchman wearing rough suit of clothes and premlturely bald head sat beside burial casket, waiting for the east bound train. A 7tibHne representative ap- preached him and asked
 Taking the remains of some friend east for burial."
 That's wat be, pardner My wife Sary lays in thar takin' things sor,er easy an quiet like"
 Where are you taking the body?'
 Back to Ohier Ashtabuly county"
 Have you other friends buried there beside whom you desire her to lie ?n <
 Wal, no; none in particular. I've got one wife anchored thar waitin fur the wakenin' trump, that's all'
 Why do you not bury your last wife near your home? Unless. as we sus- gested, you desire to lay her to rest be- side other loved ones, it seems strange that you would go to the expense of talk ing the remains to the east"
 Wal, pardner, I'm tiggerin' on my own comfort in this deal. ve lived in Dakoty fur gon' on six years. an know this soil too durned we'll to take any chances On it. fl'd plant Sary ou, 'yar, the chances air ten to nuthin that this productive soil d git in its work an she'd spout up in bloomia' beauty in the spring, so reckoned i, d be safer to tuck 'er away back in Ohier whar the dfouth d hev show to perent acci- dents. I've lived with Sary six years, pardner, an reckon I'm hggerin' on the future purty near right"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
Tom Ochiltree.
Modern Age for March


 Prominent among notables al Wash ington may be mentioned Colonel Tom OchilTee, member of congress from Texas. No man has ever said V more in given time, no one has ever done more, 10 say nothing of having done '' Europe, Asia and Africa with America thrown in several times. No one has lever caught so many fishes, ever killed so many reindeer, ever trapped so many beaver. He has probably swam the Hellespont oftener than Leander him. self, and with better success, since he lives to tell the story. By some happy arrangement of the stars, he is lon the spot at the precise moment that every importance takes place. He is probably the only man living who has declined an invitation to dine with the prince of Wales upon the plea of "previous en- gagement." He confesses to being a little disappointed" as well as the prince: but I'll faut souffrir pour etre belle,' says the French proverb. and to be distinguished also demands sacrifices. It was more distinguished to decline, so he accepted the sacrifice and declined the invitation. On intimate terms with all the crowned heads of Europe, during his recent soJourn in Paris, he was hand and glove" with the high officials, and consorted chiefly with the nobility within the sacred precincts of the Fasbourg Saint Germain. His intercourse with august personages Is marked by but one
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01

itor. Like to look at copy of our pa per?" pulling out a small sheet from his pocket. Now, you have no ida-no- body not in the profession can have any idea-of the labor and mental strain in volved in that small sheet Keep it. There may be paragraph or two in it that is worth considering, even if it does come from this side of the water" His companion changed his place soon after
 ward, and the amused conductor, who
 had overheard the conversation, said tc
 the young man: Do you know who
 that was 7" "No." "It was Mir. Wal
 ter, of the London 7imes"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
A Story of Two Journalists.
lExchange.l

A story is told of young sophomore the newly appointed editor of college paper in New England, who, on his way home in vacation some years ago, made the acquaintance of quiet gentleman on a railroad train. Englishman, l per ceive," airily began our college boy. The stranger bowed. You must find much
 to amuse you in this country. We are SO very crude, so new :" said the sopho- more, who was an Anglo-maniac. There is one thing. however, on which
 ! aatier myself we compare favorably
 with John Bull-our newspapers. The journalists of this country rank high, sir, high!" Having received very civil re- ply, he continued: "I am myself an ed-
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
Well Employed.
Middletown Transcript.

Mrs. K. E Hayes has one of the finest poultry yards in Ohio. Rutherford .' she said the other day, with severe look in her left eye, Rutherford, have you gathered in the eggs this afternoon ?" /" Yes, ma 'am." Have you tied piece of red dannel to that brindle hen that is wanting to set before the accepted time ?" ;" Yes. ma'am.' "Have you fed the tur- keys as directed .' "Yes, ma 'am.r Then you may go again and look for that gray hen that has stolen her nes, and don't you come back saying you can't find her, either''
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
THE LAST REQUEST.

Talk 10 me about the tariff.
 Tell me of it's wonders now: For q martyrs crown I'li wear if Angels place one on my brow. I have labored long in congress, Oft my mind has been adriit; Heavy speeches did my tongue press, When 1 could my voice upliit. Steep my soul with talk of tariff, Whisper Revenue once more; For want to raise a scare fl
 Fer reach the golden shore. am dying, Congress, dying,
 Never more my breath you I'll smell All my hopes of fame are flying
 Tariff, revenue, farewell
 -.Nese royk Morning IoEyHaI
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
The Memphis { Little Rock Ry.

This popular and reliable route. with it's two double daily passenger trains. is the di- rect and quickest route te all points East South, Southeast. Close connections at Lii. tie Rock and Memphis. Pullman sleepers on night trains. Only one change from Little Rock to New York. Five hours quicker than any other route. Special inducements offered 10 emigrants.
 For information in regard 10 lands apply to
 THOMAS ESSEX
 Land Commissioner. Little Rock. The great through freight line between Little Rock and Eastern cities-Cincinna,i Louisville Memphis. etc. Through bills of lading 10 all points, do mes,ic and foreign.
 For full information, with maps, schedules rates etc, apply 10
 D. C. ROBERTS,
 Gen. Pass and Ticket Agt.
 E. K. SHELBY.
 Receiver and General Manager,
 Little Rock. Ark.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
FOR THE WEST.

There are a number of routes leading 10 the above mentioned section, but the direct and reliable route is via St. Louis and over the Missouri Pacific Railway. The two trains daily arc run from the Grand Union Depot, s. Louis 10 Kansas City, Leavenw orth, Atch- ison, St. Joseph and Omaha.
 Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars of the very finest make are attached to all trains.
 Al Kansas City Union Depot, passengers for Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico and Cal itornia connect with express trains of all lines.
 Al Atchison, connection is made with ex- press trains for Kansas and Nebraska points. Al Omaha, connection IS made with the Overland train for California
 This line offers 10 parties en route to the West and Northwest, not only fast time and superior accommodations, but beautiful scenery, as il passes through the finest DOT tion of Missouri and Nebraska Send for illustrated maps, pamphlets, etc, of this line, which will be mailed free.
 F. CHANDLER,
 C. B. klNNAN, Geni Pass. Agt.
 Asst Genl Pass Agt
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01
No Marks.

Mir. T. NJ. Casad, editor of the Cory don 7imes. writes that his little girl burned her foot severely on a stove One application of St. Jacobs Oil. the grea, pain-reliever. cured il completely. leaving no marks. By two applic ations ot S,. Jacobs Oil he cured himself of tortur- ing pain in the side.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01

l, is generally the man who sits imme- dia,ely in the rear of the young lady wearing an exaggerated hat who is in favor of the " elevation of the stage.-- Novrfsts'.es RsyaIa.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-01

Cruel: Fancy. mammy. the hair dresser fellow wanted to shave my mus ,ache of. ]" ..Yes? We'll, and did he :" I-PH1ci.