The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1884-02-08
MARRIAGE BIZ PHRENoLoeY.
Men With Bad Tcmpers Should Es.
re=sc Women OF Mild Manners-

1WO Va u GOIOE OAuMO AZTEC.
New York World.
Four weird portraits and the pallid
Gust Of 3 gentleman whose skull VAS
neatly divided into building lots, decor
ated the platform at Cooper Union last
evening, when Professor Nelson Sizer
came forward tp discuss marriage by
Ethe standpoint of phrenology, There
was q large audience. The speakt,> be-
gan by saying that the first things which
engage a young mans attention are
choosing a vocation and a wife. 1t was
usually considered that woman was at
her zenith at twenty and old at twenty.
Eve. When she was sixteen, the ques-
lion was, whom shall / take? Twenty.
who will take me? Mothers-in law and
step-mothers are, in the professors
opinion, much less black than they are
commonly painted. In speaking of do
mestic discipline, the speaker told of a
man who had adopted twenty six chill
dren, OF whom twenty-seven turned out
we'll.
"How MANY Of the audience can show
such q record as that?" asked Professor
.izer. To illustrate what people shou d
marry, he showed his hearers some por-
traits, of which he had several upon the
table.
"0f her. he said, holding up a severe
angular face" / have some doubts. (The
audience giggled.D Perhaps you have
none at all. Would some of you like
her for q ,mother-inlaw? Don't ak at
once. This oma (holding up another
wtak,,~0 - gGoa.k n,@lNcfnysksn1 unnhsefn,xa
and self reliant, and woul1 make q good
mate for this man, exhibiting a mild.
made c~ountenance adorned with tatfy-
colored hair.
He is intelligent and religious, but can
not clench his fists. She will run the
house while he writes the editorials
She furnishes the lemons and he the
sugar. Marry one like yourself PEG.
pie sometimes say. That is very well ii
you are perfect, but some of us are not
perfect. Men should marry to make up
for their deficiencies, There should be
harmony of temperament and mental
development.
SIN this picture continued the pro.
fessor, pointing to a smiling likeness oil
Daniel Lambert, I'VE see plumpness
and vitality. This man will drink when
he is treated, and is a jolly good fellow.
If he married q woman like himself the
children would have dots in their faces
instead Of eyes. Picture No. 2 repre-.
sents the hard, bony style of mantle
trsllis without the vine. He should
marry a woman who is soft, rounded,
and cheerful. No. is pretty much all
brain, and if he marries a woman of his
own type the children would be of the
kind canonized in Sunday school liter
AZURE, and would die before they were
six years old. / believe hat most OF the
unhappy marriages occur because men
know so few women who are not already
spoken for.
BLONDES should marry brunettes.'
TO illustrate, Professor Sizer showed the
portraits of q couple who we're married
In Vermont In 1912. The man was very
dark, the woman a blonde. The speak
er also held up to the admiring audience
a blonde, very decOllete, who, she said,
would select a dark husband.
In contrast be showed a demure Puri-
tanic burnette, whose name was Lola
Montez. Going on with his lecture the
speaker said the tall should marry the
snort, the stout should unite with tire
lean, etc. Fine training and careful Sc
lection had produced a Jay-Eye-See and
Maud s., and had reduced a mile from
shree minutes to 2:l0 Ia.
There was no reason, he said, why,
oy an application Of the principles of
horse-breeding TO humanity, lei might
aot live to be one hundred years old.
Within the speakers recollection the
average of human life had been in
creased from thirty-three to forty-two
years. A silent man should marry a
laxative woman, and a taciturn woman
1T one could be found should join a
nan with a lively tongue. The union Of
TWO silent people would produce chill
iren who could not say the Lords pray
er.
AS an illustration Of strong, resolute
nature, the professor showed a crayon
sketch which wa said to represent King
Philip III. Of Spain. Twenty-Five cents
worth of physiology and one dollars
worth of phrenolcgy would enable peo-
pie to make proper selections of hus-
bands and wives. Cousins should not
ntermarry, as their progeny are likely
10 be idiots. After defending the instl-
luton of marriage against the assault of
Tree-love doctrines, and asserting that q
knowledge of physical and mental laws
would diminish the growing evils of di-
fOECf, IIOtCSoUI OlLGI aCAdiiittlGo Tic
heads of several ladies and gentlemen
who mounted the platform.
"rhis lady," he said. ~caressing the
cans of a stylish blonde, lis ingenious
and lively, but not very piOus. She
comes of a family of artists, and has con-
siderable mechanical skill. She would
decorate your home tastefuily, = looking
hard at q dark-complexioned youth who
Tried to hide his feet under . chair.
The blonde snickered, r~carranged her
hangs and mt or her hat as &prafassarA
Sizer examined the back hair Of an
elderly woman, and announced that she
was not stingy. was brave and long
headed. and that her sons said YES,
ma'am,p in addressing her. A careful
examination of her frizzes satisfied the
lecturer that she was intellectual, full of
vitality, and dignitied. The examin-
alton OF heads closed the entertainment.