The Press., 1884-08-14

lnSS young 1ellOW repaired to the SCOfe where he is employed, after working hours, and rang up the residence of his best girl. The connection was made and the young blood enquired "Is that you, Miranda ?'' ''Yes, George" came the re. reply. ''Are you alone?' s'Yes, darling. , ssI wish were down there." ''I wish so too." eff I were there, do you know what would do with my darling ?'' "No, Georgie." ''Well, I'd unbuckle the crup- per and put some dirt in her mouth. , "Oh ]! you brute P cried Miranda, and now they never speak as they pass by, and the best plan for starting balky mare, wise man to put his arm around the neck it and hold it on his lap and whisper words of love in it's ear, and ought to be hung to the nearest lamp-post, while the telephone girl who mixed the conversation on prlr- pose smiles blandly on all the parties con- cerned.
 Cooley's Weekly Chargoggagoggman- choggagogg is the name of black bass lake at Webster, Mass, that is extensively patronized by picnic and fishing parties. You take a boat at the first syllable and row down into the middle of the word (say about the second agog,) and then you can fish four miles in either direction without running ashore. A couple of Norwich fishermen who recently visited the lake, inquired of native how he pronounced the name. "There don't none O us try ter swaller the hull on it at once" said he. "We just break it up end pronounce a piece at time. A few years ago the XTo1, l. .1.l. book form and it made just two volumes They sent 8 copy to Boston professor, and after month he returned answer that ho had read the first volume, and it con- tained the complete history of the Massa- chusetts Indians. There's bout @ years reading in both books. Say, you haint history makes feller dry.'
 A FAMILY WITH VAeAR1Es. = Ezekiel Eads, who died recently near Athens, N. Y., aged 65 years, was born without ears and without apertures where his ears should have been. He was able, however, to. gather sound through his mouth, and could hear conversation that was carried on in an ordinary tone. His hair was black at birth, but was interspersed with oddly shaped gray spots, some of them re- sembling diminutive human hands and ears. These singular markings never changed, and his black hair never turned gray. Eads had IA children. The oldest, aged 45, has not gray hair in his head, his hair being as black as coal, while the youngest, aged 13, is as gray as man of of 70.
 Scientific American :- The venerable Captain Ericsson, the inventor of the monitors which did such useful service during our war with the south, and the author of the sun motor, the hot air en- zine which bears his name, and scores of other inventions, reached his eighty first birthday on the 2Oth of July. Captain Ericsson does not look or appear to be 8 man much past sixty years of age, and he seems as hale and hearty as he did quar- ter of century ago. Captain Ericsson is very methodical in all of his ways, ab- stemious in his habits, and is always at work he begins immediately after an early breakfast, and is so busy with tools or pen for sixteen hours of every twenty four that no one ever finds him at leisure.
 In the Hop Plaster are united Fresh Hops, Gums and Balsams, and it's power is wonder ful in curing Back Ache, Sprains, Bruises, Neuralgia, Pain in the Side or Soreness any where. Thousands testify to this.
 At Lake Butter in Louisiana the other day lightning struck tree on which was perched @ yellow hammer. The flash stripped the bird of every feather from it's wings and back, and singed it's wings so that it could not fly, while it's skin was not broken in 8 slng.e place nor the bird killed.
 The discovery of ATHLoPHoRos as specific for Rheumatism and Neuralgia was not an ac- cident, but the result of inquiry into his own case, by gentleman of wealth, leisure and scientific accomplishment, who had been long victim of Rheumatism. His own cure proved his theories as to the nature of the disease, and the merits of Athlophoros as 8 specific for it. Then his friends tried it, and their friends. And so the circle widened, till now Athlophoros is recognized in every state as the surest remedy for Rheumatism and Neuralgia that has ever been discovered.