St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-11-03
POODLE AND PUPPY.
The Most GHshy Lore-Letfer on Earth or
Luton BuIsrer

tations should they take pistol instead OF
pen, powder instead OF an ink-stand aud
spatter their brains literally instead Of 6gur-
atively upon the paper before them.
Many are the politicians who have wept
tears as bitter as the ink they used and been
tortured with slabs as sharp as the pens they
held. Love letters are often fatal to the fu-
tur9 happiness Of those who wrote them and
few lines in black and white have undOne
the work Of lifetime.
The letters Of Lord Lytton- BuIweT, written
to the woman whom be afterwards married,
aud now recently published, are
marvels Of idiocv Did the
world not know from long and and Gym
ical experience what foIlies men will commit
with pens in their hands these evidences Of
the great nOvelist's driveling sensuaIity aud
and imbecile philandering would be setdown
as forgeriee.
In spite OF the fact that he was a young
man when he wrote these letters, 1t is bard to
imagine that the same hand which penned
1.-The Last DAYS of Pompeii,' the drama Of
"Riehelieu." and especially his soberer works
''My Noveln aud 1.-The Cations" could ever
have shed such rivulets Of amatory slush as
he poured out upon the woman he thought
worthy 10 be his wife. OF course. no man
could well afford 10 have his reputation test
ed by his Youthful love letters or his moments
OF babbling and confidential spOoniness.
But surely few men OF the sense and brains
which Bulwer really possessed ever had with
in them such fountains Of slop that spouted
torrents Of rapturous swash. Here is an ex-
ample Of two. lie speaks both Of her and
himself as poodles:
my ADoRED POoDLE-Manv many
thanks for 90 darling letter. Ne is so hap
py, me is waeging my tail and putting my
cars down. me Is TO meet 90 tomorrow. o
day Of daysi can not tell You how very,
very happy you have made met No. my
own love, don't come before II; bat really /
shall meet youl Oh, darling Of 6arliugs /
cannot write 10 you tonight, nor at any
length now. The best plan about the carri-
age will be for you TO get in 1t first, and it
can then pick me up in another St., so that
YOU viii enter it alone. When YOU are once
in, put down We blinds. o zoo love of loves,
me is ready to leap out OF my skin for joy.
Adieu. Twenty million kisses.
,EL.B.
Then, again. he writes, stake 90 mil
lion million million kisses, and so zoo
thinks TO convict me of equlvocation by say
ing me continues TO dream, tho not to
sleepl To be surel 90 does not call dream
ing slCep.
This perhaps is as near the verge of down
right imbecility as ever man in love dares
to walk. But Bulwer went SO near the edge
that he actually tumbled over into bottom
less depths Of bosh like this:
''And so they dressed my Poodle in white
and black o ZOO darlingl how like a
Poodle, And had 90 oo's boOtiful ears
curled nicely, and did 90 not look too pretty.
aud did not all the puppy dogs run after 90
and tell 90 what darling 90 wasi All, me
sends 90 nine million kisses To be distribut-
ed as follows 500, 900 for 90 bootiful mouth,
$50, 900 to 90 right eye, 25O, 900 to 90 left
eye, 1000, 600 to 90 dear neck, and the rest
TO be equally divided between 90 arms and
and hands. Ten million more kisses, my
own darling, for your letter which has Just
arrived. 1t is read. and now before It is an
swercd, take the following, marks of kisses
Pray, darling, shall we not kiss prettily to-
morrow Darling(D)(A) (R) o. o. CD (GO
Well, my darling, pray write, for my soul
hungers and thirsts after your writeousness-
10, 900, 900 marks of kissesl and Is [bites. !
II, OOO, OOO, 200, 900, 000, 900 marks Of
kissesl my dearest rose.
''Siy own dear, kind, darling, love and
poodle.
''Adieu, my own rose, my life of life, very
poodle ofvery poodles, adieul
''Adieu, 90 own idOlatrOus puppy.
Ever my dearest, dearest, dearest, fond
est, kindest, boOtifulest darlingest angel
est, poodle, 90 own puppy.
Asparagus acorn pup bobadil Of boots
k-n
1t is hardly to be expected that such an
extreme should nothave its opposite aud that
he arose at last from this abyss of folly only
10 become, after his marriage, a cruel and
brutal husband. They had been married sew
en- years and were travelling in Italy. Here
he kicked and banged her on the stone floors
until she was black snd blue and had to keep
her bed and he swore at her when she asked
for money to pay the bills in London. AT
one night in great rage at her for not an
swering him and provoked by her exhibition
OF jealousy he seized a carving knife from
the dinner table and rushed upon her. She
warned him s'for Gods sake to take care
what he was about when, dropping the
knife and springing on her, he 'made his
| great teeth meet in her cheek and the blood
| squirt over her"
/ He afterwards wrote her most abiect aud
/ penitent letter., said she had been cruelty
| outraged while he stood eternally degraded
/ in his own eyes. He admitted that sense,
reason, manhood, everything gave way, and
that he was maniac and brute. He wa:
convinced that he was only fit 70 live alone
for God and nature had afflicted him with un-
social habits, weak nerves and violent pas
sions. He blamed her for nothing, reproacheC
her with nothing, and arranged the terms o.
separation.
Such infirmity OF temper seems at first il
great contrast with the pitiful and puerile out
pOurings of his love epistles. But they wert
of the same piece. One was the egotism anC
lunacy of love, the other Of passion exhaust
ed aud supplanted by Indifference and dis
gust. His wife ives undoubtedly frivolou:
and vain. Such doses rs he gave her in hi:
letters would have sickened sensible woman
and lover as intelligent as Bulwer would
have known It. But he must have felt sur,
that she would be hattered and ticlled will
such droolings, or he would have withheld
them. A women pleased with SOLDERING
language Of this kind would be incapable o
either understanding his strength or being
patient with his weakness.
MIR. ARTHUR. MISS FRELINGHUYsEN
lore, Political Inhibition and General Spec