Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-07-19
AN lPECAC MATINEE.
Senator Mahone's Bottle Of DOctOred
Whiskey.

1t will be remembered by the readers OF The
STAR that some three or four weeks ago Senator
Mahone's body servant, John, laid in watch and
caught one Of the beu-boys at the Arlington
hotel purloining from the Senator's room some OF
his choice whiskey, present to the Senator from
an appreciative friend in Pennsylvania The bell
boy was arrested and held by the Police Court for
action OF the grand jury several articles property
OF the hotel guests having been found hidden away
In his room. Recently there was developed a ludi-
crous sequel TO the detection OF the theft OF the
Senator's whiskey, and STAR reporter worked up
the following facts In connection therewith:
1t appears that one evening last week several
friends, all prominent In the affairs OF the republic,
gathered in a room at the Arlington hotel to in
dulge in the social amusement OF game OF cards
the innocent game of pedro, probably; yet, posi-
bly, 1t may have been the seductive and fascinating
paStime OF draw poker.
The hours passed pleasantly and an appetiZing
lunch OF salad and sandwiches, accompanied by
several bottles OF lager was served little after II
o'clock
A short time after midnight and on the eve OF
the termination OF the pleasant festivities, OF
OF good old whiskey as nlght-cap, and precau-
tionary remedy against salad collie, would be
palatable and soothing" This profound sanitary
and bell-boy was called and ordered to bring up
nom the bar several pot1ons OF the great revenue
producing beverage Disappointment was loudly
expressed when the boy returned and reported
that +" de bars closed TO- de night" Then silence
prevailed for brief PERIOD with facial expressions
OF supreme disgust exhibited by several OF the
party.
A brilliant flash Of lightning from the darkest
thunder cloud never produced greater illumination
than instantly spread over the cOuntenances OF the
party as Senator Malone announced that he had
some whiskey In his room, and would be pleased
to produce some OF 1t for the relief OF his thirsty
turned with a bottle OF "Overholtz, distilled in
1880" The production OF the "Old Rye" inter-
rupted the game fnstanter, and four OF the distin
gulshed party got up, helped themselves and
touched their glasses, each OF which was supplied
with the regulation quantity known as 'snorter,n ~
and drank to the health and happiness OF all pre-
sent The four veterans immediately resumed
their seats and announced that they would play on
one Jack-pot-whatever that means-take another
"n1ght-cap" and go home to pleasant slumbers.
They were hardly warm In their seats again when
they suddenly stared at each other with a painful
1nquisitive look, as II each was waiting for the
other to speak. A Stckly pallOr spread over their
faces, and with simultaneous expedition they rose
and rushed to the corner OF the room, where their
heads pumped together over the mouth OF the slop-
jar, and four volumes, comprised OF whisky, salad
beer, masticated sandwiches and gastric Juice,
poured from their rebellious stomachs into the
groans and contortlons OF the victimsl
"What is the matter OF the whiskey7" was the
first exclamation, at has made us deathly sick"
Senator Malone (whO, by the way, never drinks
spirituous liquors, always confning his bations to
beer, looked dumbfOunded at the gyrations OF his
friends. The whiskey was choice old stock sent
him by valued friend In Pennsylvania. Many Wis
itors had partaken OF 1t In his room and all pro-
nounced 1t superb He couldn't comprehend why
IL SnOulQ SO SuQQe0ly ana pecullarly disable The
present company. He would, however, Investigate
at once. He Immediately had his faithful servant
and factOtum, John who has charge OF the Senator'S
apartments, hunted up. AS he entered the room
the Senator remarked: "John, what In the name OF
great Cesar is the matter OF my whiskey?
brought bottle from my room and these gentle
men, after taking drink OF it, were suddenly taken
violently sick"
"Yo' whisky made 'em sick, uttered John. ap-
parently not fully comprehending the situation.
"Make us sick. should say so. And this room
resembles a ward in a cholera hospital remarked
one OF the victims in nauSeating tone of voice.
All OF sudden John seemed to ''catch on, and
instantly reached for the bottle Observing pri-
vate mark on the label his eyes enlarged and pro-
truded like the moon passing from behind dark
cloud as he exclaimed:
"Fo' God! Marsa Malone! Dat am de bottle of
liquor put dem 1DbegagS In to S1c'n de nigger
what had bin totem OF de whisky from yo room!"
Johns statement explained the cause OF the
cholera symptoms or the innocent victims. John
had neglected to empty the bottle which he had
dOSed with ipecac, and Senator Malone had, un-
Willingly brought this bottle in for his friends The
distinguished tnvaiids soon retired In disorder TO
their respective homes, emitting to partake OF an
other "n1ght-cap"
This sequel to the theft OF Senator Mahone's
whiskey is characterized as "The Ipecac Matinee"
and the recital OF the ludcrOuS incidents OF the
fOrmance has created unlimited mirth among the
large circle OF the victims friends. Even the vic
Tins now laugh heartily at their matinee perform
ances, and have but one remaining annoyance con-
nected with IL: They are afraid some OF those '1t
erary felers" will write 1t up for the papers
Mr ND,u,rcH, RoVo