Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-05-01
y Doctors TribulatiOnS.

The individual who imagines that he
is going to give satisfaction to the gem
cral public in anything he may under
take, is certainly the victim of delu-
sion. 1t is impossible to please every
body. The man, be his station in life
what it may, who comes up to the eX-
pectation of the multitude, has not yet
been born. The editor in particular
soon makes this discovery. The cler-
gyman, also, knows that there are
people in his congregation who are
never satisfied with what he does, or
leaves undone The doctor is another
professional man who has q hard row
to hoe.
If a doctor dresses well and wears q
high hat, people say that he is medi-
cal dude If, on the other hand, he
pays little or no attention TO his toilet,
then he is accused of lack of dignity.
If he goes into society, attends balls
and parties, then the impression is that
he is fishing for popularity.
If the physician visit, his patients
while they are in good health, he is
accused of attempting to sponge. He
come 10 the house in order TO be inVit-
ed to dinner. Ii, on the other hand,
he never comes unless he is called, the
inference is that the only use he has
for his patients is to make money out
of them when they are sick. If the
doctor attends church, of course he is
q hypocrite, who is trying to work on
the religious feelings of the communi-
ty. Ii he does not attend church,
nothing can be palmer than that he is
an infidel, or q socialist. If the doc
tors wife does not return the calls that
the other ladies make on her, then she
is putting on airs, turning up her nose
at her betters, etc. If she does return
the calls, then she is plucking patients
for her husband to shoot at.
If the doctors horse is fat, that is q
sure sign that he has not got much to
do. If the animal is emaciated, he is a
brute for not taking better care of his
horse. If he drives fast, he is trying
to create the false impression that he
has been called to the bedside of some
important patient. If he drives slowly
he does not care a cent whether or not
his patients die before he gets to them.
If the patient RECEIVERS his health, he is
indebted to a kind Providence, or Il
strong constitution, or to the care that
was taken of him during his illness.
In no case is the doctor entitled to any
credit for the recovery. If the patient
dies, he was undoubtedly murdered by
his physicians. If the medical man is
sociable and talkatiye, the people say
we do not want doctor who tells
everything he knows. Is he is a silent
man then they say a doctor should en-
courage his patients to be communica-
tive. If he talks politics they say q
doctor should have no politics; and if
he does not talk politics, then he is a
sneak and q time-server, VINO either
has 10 opinions, or is afraid to own up
as to what his politics really are. If
the doctor does not run his horse to
death when he is called, he is not tax
inc sufficient interest in the case. If
he does not send in his Dill, his object
is to prevent the patient from engaging
another doctor. If he does send in his
bill, he is in q hurry for his money,
and so on TO the end of the chapter
Teas SitIingS.