The Hazlehurst signal. (Hazlehurst, Miss.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-07
Corns, Chilblalns, Etc.

Right Hon. blackboard ScroggS re-
Gently addressed the Detroit Limekiln
Club upon the subject OF corns and kim
lrcd annoyanccs. in substance n fol-
lows, according TO n reporter OF the
Free Press:
TELLER NATIVES: NY objcck In ar.
rovin hcah n, dis pcrticklcr time am TO
discuss n matter dat cluSly consarns do
hull Guild race of dis kcntry. Dc con
seems 10 be carniyerouS. omnivcrous.
an mighty familiar on short notice. II
lies down wild de rich, gifts up wild dc
poo. an stands right by you widout
strikin' fur higher wages. What causes
co ms? In oldcn times dc con was sup
posed 10 be n speshul mark OF good
luck. DE teller who could show six or
seven Of 'em on one heel was made
gub'no obcr province an allowed to
keep half dozen dogs. De little bunch
was said TO contain a pearl seventeen
carrots fine. an people went round
erwin an lamentin' bckasc dcy had no
cons.
"In desc modern DAYS We know
dat cons am caused by n ten-
porary suspenshun Of de circu-
lashun of dc blood. mixed wild mo- or
less rcackshun. 80 fur rs we know de
pearls found ON de inside cant be used
fur fish bait. an am dario' dead loss
To de kentry. When you hear any one
gwinc around cryin' you kin bet spot
ted calf agin peck of dirt dat dey amt
weepin fur cons.
abe chilblain differs slightly from do
con-" continued the orator. after drop
ping troche into his mouth. '.lt
dom bunch up an come to a head In
one per;icklcr spot. While dc con am
satisfied to cotch on TO a toe an hang
dar' fur n month or two, dc chilblain
comes purrin' round dc heel, good
natured rs an ole cat. II kinder ticklcs
We fur day or two. an YOU step higher
an feel like taken your fadder out of dc
poo -house. But while YOU am wishin'
YOU could buy four hundred barrels OF
flour fur four hundred widdcrs an orph.
ans dat chilblain begins to hunt around
fur mo- ground. AFTER he kivers do
heel he creeps ford TO de instep, skulls
to de toes, AN fust you know you am
huntin' fur bute-jack an currycomb.
He has come to stay all winter an late
into spring. You can't coax. hire nor
scare him away. In olden days dc chill
blain was supposed to arise from too
much braius In do head. Dc man who
had EN- was considered a sort oil
doublc-ended statesman, an people
looked up to his heels rs well rs his
head. In desc times we know dat dc
chilblain am caused by sort OF spon.
tancous mathematical corruscashun OF
de epidermis ut critical period. All
dat brains has to do In dc case am to
invent a cure fur dc complaint
81 had intended TO disgress few
translashuns on dc subjcck OF bunions,
bow-lcgs. sittin' down on dog an
pickin' up hot cent in front Of sa-
loon. but l see dc time allowed by your
rules am almost dspired. Let me add.
In conclushun. dat I am purvided wild
box Of knives, gimlets, draw-shayes,
pick.axes. acids. pincers an razers. to.
gcder wild fpll supply Of salves, plas.
tiers, wax an so forth, an arter dc close
OF dc meetin' l shall DO pleased to OK
pertinent on all members free Of OK.
pcnse. Twill now remark: Cum soils
cnra,ster piuribus Cicero fremens simiii-
bus Gineral jackson. and thank you for
your needless attentions to my unfool.
Ing remarks"
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