News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1884-11-27
THE STARS AND THE wooDp11E.

THE STARS AND THE wooDPILE.
Sometimes as I gaze into the great
star-lit girdle of earth and try to fathom
the mystery of space, am lost in the
utter helplessness of my littleness," re-
marked Mr.. Jarphly. GLOW impossible
it is for the human mind to comprehend
anything without a beginning and an
end 1t is beyond its capabilities,
however cultured or brilliant that mind
may be. For what, then, are our little
petty ambitions, spites, malices, strug-
giles and exertions? For what do we ex-
ist? For"
"Got that wood chopped yet, Jere-
miah ?" cried out Mrs. Jarphly from the
kitchen.
"I'm chopping it," replied her hus-
band.
"WeIl, you'd better hurry. reckon
if you have to go without your supper
you won't be wondering what you exist
for. "-PittS6urgh Chronicle.
BUSINESS CHANGES.
Two gentlemen met on the street.
"Still in the hardware business ?"
asked one.
"No." replied the other. 81 have re-
tired from the hardware business and am
trying to do little something in Wall
street."
A year later they met again.
"Still in Wall street ?" asked one.
"No," replies. the other. 81 have re-
tired from Wall street, and am trying
to do little in the hardware business. Z"
THE DANGER OF IT.
Tiresome Dude: 81 happened to, aw,
get hold of an Erie papah to-day, and 1
saw the funniest thing in it-too funny
for anything"
Tired Beauty: ''Do tell it then"
"Why, it was about young lady at
little town called Harborcreek. 1t said
she dislocated her jaw while yawning.
Wasn't it stwange?"
Nothing stranger am sure. The
young gentlemen of Harborcreek should
be talked to-"
"Weally, now, can't see what you
are dwiving at, ye know"
"O1e of them probably called on hel
and stayed too late. ."-PhiLa. Call.
ON THE SAFE SIDE.
"I'm sorry, sir, but don't know you,
and therefore cannot cash that check for
you," said the cashier. 'Well, 1 don't
see why this letter won't identify me.
You are too careful altogether" "Well,
L can't do it, as said before, unless you
bring some one to identify you. want
to be on the safe side." "You want to
be on the safe side, do you, young man?
Well, if were you and so anxious to be
on the safe side, I would start at once
for Canada;" and he left chuckling to
himself and thinking that he had made
that burned upstart feel mean.
FACETIoUs FATHER.
Spa, can money talk?'
'That's what betting men say, some
times, my son"
"What can it talk, pa?"
81 suppose it can talk good cents.
A sALE-No ALE.
"Ah, good morning." said the pro-
prietor of the saloon. as gentleman en-
tered the door and looked hesitatingly
around, "what can I do for you this
morning? Have some Bass ale, fresh
and"
NO." interrupted the gentleman;
"I'll have some Sherif's sale," and he
pinned the necessary notice on the
vsnn--Det1oit Post
he SQUEEZED OUT.
civilian Broker" she said to her
husband, very earnestly, as they sat at
the breakfast table, ''look me in the eye
and tell me the truth. Are you losing
all your money in fruit speculation"
He was scared to death when she be-
gan, but conscious innocence gave him
strength and courage as she concluded
her question.
"No," he said, firmly, 'I am moi"
81 believe you are, she said, shaking
her head, "for last night you cried in your
sleep, and said you had lost every chip
1Ou lilo WOIlu Ou OuC hbbAC BOdis
And then he gasped and admitted that
he had dropped few cases in little
deal in perishable fruits. But it was
the narrowest escape he ever had in his
life.-HdaUkeye.
TAKING CARE OF THE SICK.
"Oh, DEAR" sighed a farmers wife
YEARLY, as she dropped into a chair
after a hard days work, 81 feel just as
if 1 were going to be sick. My head
throbs, and my back aches dreadfully
and"-
"By gosh," interrupted the farmer,
starting up and seizing his hat, "that
reminds me. 1 forgot to give the two
year-old colt his condition powders to-
night, an he's been a wheezin' all day."
l. I,,~ al 70 +ba