The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05


The pump handle shake is the first
which deserves notice. 1t is executed
by taking friends hand and working
, it up and down and down through an
arc of fly degrees for about minute
And . half 10 have its nature. force,
and character this shake should be
formed with fair and steady motion.
No attempt should be made 10 give it
grace. and still less variety. as the few
Instances in which the latter has been
tried has resulted uniformly in dislocat-
ing the shoulder of the person on
whom it has been attempted. On the
contrary, persons who are part; al to the
pump handle shake should be at some
pains toglve an equable, tranquil move
ment to the operation, which should on
no account be continued after perspira-
ton on the part of your friend has
commenced.
The pendulum shake NAV be men
toned next. as being somewhat similar
in character, but moving. as the name
indicates, in a hort zontal instead of a
perpendicular direction. Its ecuted
by sweeping YOUR hands horizontally
toward Your friends, and after the juno
Son is iected, rowing with it from one
side to the other according to the pleas
ure of the parties. The only caution
in its use which needs particu' arly to
be gwen is not to ins st on performing
it in a place strictly parallel to the hor
lion. Yea may observe a person who
had been educated to the pump-handle
shake. and anrther that had brought
home the pendulum from foreign
voyage. They met, joined hands, and
att implied TO put them in motion. They
were neither of them feeble men. One
eudea. ored to put and the other to I'D
lie; their faces redeemed, the drops
stood upon their foreheads, and it was
at last pleasant illustration of the
doctrine of the composition of forces to
see their heads slanting into an exact
diagonal. in which line they ever after
shook; but it WAS PLAN to see there
was no cord.ality IN it, and, as is usual
ly the case with such compromises,
both parties were discontinued.
The tourni Iuet shake is the next in
Importance. 1t derive, its name from
he instrument made use of by surgeons
to stop the c,rculat. on of the blood in
in the limbs about to be ampi ated. 1t
is performed by clasping the hand of
your friend as far as you can in your
own, and then contra ting the muscles
of Your thumb, fingers. and pa IN till
you have induced any degree of COM
preston you may propose in the hand
of your friend. Particu ar care ought
to be taken. if your hand is as hard and
as big as a frying-pan. and that of your
friend as small and soft as ma;den's,
not to make use OF the tourniJuet shake
to a degree that will shake the small
bones of the wrist out of Their places.
1t is seldom safe to apply it to equity
persons. A hearty young friend of
mine, whD had pursued the study of
geology. and acquired an usual hard
ness and siren tn of hand and wrist by
the use of the hammer, on returning
from 4 sc entiiic eXcurs on, gave he
uncle ss(the equity enc the tourni jIet
shake with such SEVERITY As had we'll
nigh reduced the old gentIeman's fing-
ers to powder, for which my friend had
the pleasure of being d sinherited as
soon as his uncle's fingers got well
enough to hold pen.
The cordial grapple is shake of
some interest. 1t is a hearty. bolster
Gus shake of your friends hand, accom-
panied with moderate pressure and loud
accla atoms of welcome. 1t is an ex-
ceilent travelling shake. and we adapt
ed to make friends; it is indiscrimi-
nately per. ormed.
The feter Grevious is opposed to the
cordial grapple. 1t is a pensive, tran
quil junction.. followed by mild SUBJ
sultoro motion, castdown look, and
an inarticulate inquiry after your
friend health.
The prude major and prude minor
are nearly monopoli ed by ladies. They
can not be accurately described. but are
constantly to be noticed in practice.
They never extend beyond the myers;
and the prude major allows you to
touch them only down to the second
Joint. The prude minor allows you the
whole of the finger. Considerable skill
may be shown in performing them with
nice variations, such as extending the
left hand instead of the right, or
sire ching new glossy kid glove over
the lin er YOU extend. l m ght 90
through long list of the grip royal,
the sawmill shake, and the shake with
malice prepense, but they are only fac
titious combinations of the three funda-
mental forms already described. as the
pump-handle. tho pendulum, and the
tourniquet. should trouble you with
a few remarks in conclusion on the
mode of shaking hand a. an indication
of character but as | see frien rom-
ing up the avenue who is addicted t.
the pump-ha idle dare not ii e my
wrist by further writing. Chicago
Tribune.
Our Girls.