Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-05-04
HowLs N THE HOUSE.
joaquin sssIer Points out an Ugly Side
of Congress


Tie san order Of architecture obtains
in the House as characterizes the Senate
chamber only the place is made to hold
about four times as many cattle.
The first thing that strikes a stanger
here is the NiilaIn0us air. The first thing
you hear when seated i'm one Of the five cir
Giles 50 coping around the ton Of the corral
Is an ilcessant clapping of hands. The
bright little pages start up at all times
ana from all places, and dart Industrious
ly about 10 obey their tOrmentors and the
usually unnecessary calls Of Congress-
men This continual clappingOf hands is
noisy and absurd nuisance that few of
the yell-bred members indulge in This
reads Ike very broad suggestion that
there are great many members Of Con-
ere-s ln the House who are not well bred.
q lap. clap. clap! clap A member, two
members, three, four, five, an on their feet
40 once, and in every key and accent
from cultural % nasal twang. in every
DrJgue you hear: "Mister SDeekerl'i
Meester Speaker Misther Spakher. till
the roar and believing is really like the
roar and the rush and the believing of
corral full Of California steers and other
cattle ON branding day. The pale, tall
Team and leaning Speaker pounds feebly
with the handle of his broken hammer.
and, I'm sell-detense ana i'm the interests Of
peace, catches the eye Of the feeblest man
down.
The man with the feeble voice has bill
for making a road 10 the graves of some
soldiers who died nearly a quarter Of a
century ago somewhere down south. He
Us trying hard 10 be heard. Clap! clapi
clap! He sails his patriotic eagle and
TdIrly screams over the graves of his dead
Clap clap. clap. No one wants TO hear
The Speaker has made a iack-knife of his
long, lean figure and Is yaWnng YEARLY.
The feeble member is UnrOlling a mass Of
manuscript. The House takes alarm.
There is some side talk about having
something printed, and the cemetery man
sinks into grave.
Mr.. Speaker! Mr.. Speaker! Five, ten.
ON their feet. Clap, claDi clap. SLANT
bang. crack. A short fat man with
split voice nearly smashes his desk with a
book, i'm wild and desperate effort to
catch the Speakers eve He caught his
ear at least. The split voice begins
squeaking something which | cannot
hear. People pouring in; people pouring
out; dozens Of doors: dozens of members
moving about, lOa6ng here. loafing there
the most ungainlv attitudes ever seen
outside Of a BOwery bar-rOOm: the hun
dred or two in their seats, with about ten
exceptions, are all sitting askew. Why,
IL the boys in an OREGON district school
should loaf IN their seats as these MEM
beers Of Congress do, their every back
would come in contact with some portion
" the nearest hazel patch before the going
down OF the sun.
AS the eyes Of the visitors are all the
time directed toward the Speaker. this is
good place to be seen, 1 notice one
massive and elephantme old member
with "a tremendous shock of gray hair
spreading out like an old mop, is clutch
ing tight 10 the Speakers desk with both
hands, as if he was wrecked at sea and
the Speakers desk was q sort of chicken
coop.
Horrors. l did not see it at first, for
one looks at the Speaker and heart of the
House. But the whole edre Of the corral
Is sort of smOerthiug, smoking volcano:
smoking, chewing, reeking. drunken and
deuaucled ragged edged. / now under
stand why the ladies left All! yes l am
smoker; but there is a time to smoke.
! never smoke IN church or in a temple.
And such cigars as these. of the cheap
BoWery order. no man OF any sense or
sensibIlity viii smoke at ALI How do
You know they are "twO-f0r-five's? -
Well, l know this; that a man who is low
enough and mean enough to smoke here is
too mean TO smoke any other kind than
''twO-for-fye's"
Ten years ago when writing letters from
this city to London, l was compelled to
chronicle the fact that it was no strange
thing to see United States Senators drink
ing, drunk in public bar-rOOms along with
knots Of lobbyists and lOafers. And il
was all true then. But it is not true now.
The world moves. There is hope, for the
great American heart is good, perfect.
State a folly or a wrong fairly to the peO-
pie, keep it before them, SO that they may
not forget it, and my word fer it in less
than five years it Will be swept away. A
year ago, When this paper sent me to the
capitol 70 interview and report upon the
spittO0ns, l found hundreds OF them there
as big as wash tubs, hideOus, filthy, reek-
ing things, poisoning the air which the
tWenty-siX men and all the pOnderOus and
wonderful machinery under the Capitol
was toiling night and day to purify. 1
found these mOnstrOsities scattered
through all the departments here at our
Federal Capital. Their number was
thousands then, if not legiOns. But this
year l find they are only about half as
large and certainly not nearly half as
numerous. SO YOU see that by appealing
20 the people through this paper last year
in that one article on this foul subject,
have saved the country and am saving
to-day 10 the country thousands upon
thousands Of dollars. Let us not despise
the day Of small things. And if you see a
member mean enough to smoke and chew
and spit about the House while al work
for the people in our noble temple next
year, I shall be surprised.
now, my bowling member OF Congress,
YOU who hang idly about the edge Of the
able and Industrious members here, and
smoke, and chew, and spit, and buster,
and swear, you accident" who have /
spent all your abilities in getting here, /
and are devOting all your energies to hold /
ing on 10 your place, are you worthy. of
your hireY
Angry to be counted servant and
labOrer? Well, when you stand up before
your constituents at home you very meek /
~ call yourself a public servant; and you
plead with all your might for the privi-
lege of going to Washington TO serve the /
people. Well how are YOU doing IT. You
are not only idle, but YOU are indOlent. /
lou are not only indOlent, but YOU are a /
chronic disgrace. Now what would you /
tnlnk Of one Of your constituents, should /
you employ him and send him into yOpr 4
Pafior 70 do certain piece of work, and I
pc should sit himself down there and /
smoke and put in his time in turning your
house into tavern? What would you do /
with this same labOrer If he put in all his 4
time writing letters and trying to make .
himself solid with his employer? You
would turn him out, wouldn't YOU?
Well, now, / undertake to say that if !
every member OfCongress would decently /
bear himself, ana do the work which he I
was sent to do, and only that, we would 1
have another kind Of a House entirely. /
We would then have not only order. but /
law and very brief sessions. If members /
OF Congress. these idlers and smokers, the /
noisy accidents" who Obstruct and even /
insult the many able and honest gentle /
men here, were turned out, and turned 4
out promptly, as they should be on their 4
nrst exhibition of bad manners, there 4
would be peace in the land, love, respect, |
Jaw and religion. 1 am certain 1t was 1
2keant that this should be done when it \
was given Congress to be the sole Judge OF /
the qualifications and rights of its men, /
Ders b sit in these high places of employ /
ment. 1t is not only the right, but the I
auty Of tie large majority Of good and 4
Tue gentlemen here to turn out at once .
aud forever every noisy clapper. loafer. !
smoker and blsckguard who profaues and /
defaees the n0blest temple that was ever
llited 70 liberty by the people Of the earth,