Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1884-05-31
"Eound--An Umbrella"
New Worry sun. -


Postofice Box No. 2593 was flied
early yesterday morning. Then
the. clerks placed q bushel basket
Just under It to catch the overflow.
An hour later big bag was
brought into service. Then two
more bags, Finally, that corner OF
the postofice was designated as
Box No. 1888. The cause OF this
rush of business was AN advertise
ment in several morning papers; |;
FoUND-An umbrella; state
when and where lost and describe
property. o. f. r.. PostOfice Box
1898. ~8E edE
MIRO. #. r. called at the post
Office at noon and was confronted
by a dozen angry clerks. He Or
dered a big furniture van TO take
the mail TO his Office. He gasped
when he saw the pile IL made on
the floor, not knowing what to do
first. Resolved to do his duty in
the matter he pulled of his coat
and waded in. He tore open the
first letter and read:
You william, SO it was you that
stole my umbrella at Wallack's
Theater night before last. You
now see that the initials carved on
it blocks your little game. Leave
that umbrella with the night clerk
at the Windsor Hotel or abide by
the consequences. A. A. M.
This was not cheerful beginning
but 1t WAS a natural consequence OF
trying to be honest. Another letter
said: rt
If fthatnmbrella is mine, and L
think it is, / will ask no questions
IL you will bring 1t to the following
address :,
The finder OF the umbrella began
to gasp. He is q respectable BAN
ker, whose name stands high on
the roll of society. The umbrella
was a costly one, but gave no eyi-
dence of Its ownership. II had
been left at the bank during rush,
aud the innocent banker was trying
to ind its owner. He opened
third letter: st aise.
SIR-I am very glad you found
my umbrella. / know that left
it at Harry Hill's but / didn't like
the idea of going there for Ii. Very
much pleased am i to know that 1t
fell into such good hands.
This letter made the good man
blush. He is the leader OF a lively
Methodist prayer meeting, and
would much rather be found in the
river than in Houston street after
dark. With his nerves shattered
he tore open another letter.
Why, Ollie, didn't you know 1t
was papa's umbrella that you took
last Thursday night? I've had to.
tell lot of small tibs about it ever
since. Bring IL up tonight darling.
Here are 1000 kisses. ELLA.
Ifthis had been the first letter
opened il might have startled the
old gentleman beyond repair, but
the others had paved the way for
it, he merely threw ii with its pred
ecessOrs. The next letter contained
a pawnbroker's address, and the
next an umbrella members card.
After that was q note from one Of
his best friends, which read:
4 will be glad to see you and ex-
change your green cotton umbrella,
which you left in the place OF my
elegant Christmas present from my
wife. If you do not answer this i
shall apply at the postoffice for your
name and address, and let the law
take its course.
The matter was getting more se-
rious the further IN he went. The
Immense pile OF letters glared at
him-he knew just what each one
said by looking at the envelope.
This one called him a door mat
thief, that one q robber of Railways.
The united weight OF guilt unjustly
charged surpassed the aggregate OF
Sing Sings occupants No more
could the old vgentlemand stand.
He sent to Ann street for junk
cart and gave orders at the postOtfice
not to divulge his name.