Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-04-29
Uncle Joshua's Advice.

Uncle JOshua's Advice.
Reuben Brown was in love with black
eyed Kittie Perkins-there is no doubt about
it. ?
Kittie was the prettiest and at the same
time the most coquettish girl in Swanto, and,
woman-like, was playing 'fast and loose"
with poor Reuben.
Reuben had never openly avowed his af-
lection, though it was rapidly becoming
''soulfully intense" when, after particu-
larly exasperating interview with the fair
Kittie, he resolved to lay bare his heart to
his old Uncle Joshua, and seek the latter's
advice.
Uncle Joshua was, in fact, his nearest re-
lative, and lived only short distance from
where Reuben was employed. Reuben had
done many little kindnesses for the old man
who, in return, felt almost fathers in
terest in his welfare and happiness; SO Reu-
ben felt, when he went to consult him con-
corning his tendresse, that his advice would,
though coming from one who might almost
be supposed to have forgotten all about the
gentle passion, be sincere and thoughtful
With this conclusion, Reuben, with very
'sheart-hungry" feeling-the immediate re-
suit of the aforementioned interview with
Kittie- wended his way slowly up to the
little red house where the old man,
lived. The last faint traces of the SUMS
glory were rapidly fading away in the hori-
zon, the'bright stars were just commencing
TO twinkle merrily, and all the air held "a
solemn Stiffness as if waiting for night to
draw more closely 'sher sable MANTLE"
At such times, if ever, the human heart
turns to thoughts of love; and Reuben's, al
ready turned in that direction. was actually
filed to OVERLOOKING with the gentle emo
ton. Could he have done 80, he would,
without doubt, have woven the most ''woe-
full ballads" to the fair Kittie's eyebrows
but he was no poet, so he simply yearned.
As Reuben came up to the house he found
Uncle Josh, as he usually called him, seat
ed on the stoop. His chair was tilted back;
his venerable head, fringed with gray scanty
locks, was barred to the evening breeze; and,
like the Inflated skipper of the Hesperus,
"his pipe was in his MOUTH
"Wal, Reuben" he said, as peering
through the deepening twilight, he discov-
cred the love-sick youth approaching, 'haow
de do? come right up and set down. Any
thin new T.
Nothing much" replied Reuben, me-
chanically pulling up rude chair bottomed
with strips of rawhide, and seating himself
near by.
'sYou amt heared nothin' about the old
brindle what strayed, hev YET" asked the
old man, anxiously.
NO." replied Reuben, slowly; Il came
on quite different errand. The fact is,
uncle, I-I-Q might as we'll tell it) Pm in
love and I came to ask your advice about
it,"
oval, naow, you don't say ?" said the old
granger, and pursuing up his lips, he uttered
long, low whistle.
For few moments he remained silent, a
far off look in his aged eyes, as if the revela-
ton recalled old, almost forgotten memories,
and then he said, turning toward Reuben,
and drawing his chair a little nearer to him,
"Wal, tell the old man all about it-thar
amt nothin' to commence with, tibet does
SO much good as to let it aout." So, lean
ing back in his chair again, he listened
while Reuben told the ''old, old story
how the feeling had gradually come upon
him that he loved Kittie with an all-absorb-
ing passion Cor words to that effect;) how he
basked in the sunshine of her smiles one
day, and was by her GOODNESS plunged into
the very ''apathy of despair the next; how
he was beset with fears that she liked Bill
Simpson better than she did him; how he
was afraid, if he asked her, that she would
say no-that he was sure if she did, it would
kill him, ETC., etc.
The old man listened attentively.-who, of
whatever age, ever failed to take some in
terest in the ''oft-told tale"-and when the
young mnn had finished he took his pipe
from his mouth, coughed once or twice, and
delivered himself of these memorable words:
''Reuby, my boy, you've got it bad-there
amt no doubt on it-and I'll tell YOU a
secret whatnobody amt hearn for nigh onter
fifty year."
Here the old mans voice grew a little.
husky, and he blew his nose fiercely with a
large, red handkerchief which he took from
his forehead for the purpose.
"Women is queer creturs. l loved one
once, and am as sure ez be that Pm settin'
here that Host her by lovin' other too much,
an lettin' her know it too soon. That was
my experience, an hey seen stacks of like
cases Sence.''
oval, ez was sayin', just so soon ez
woman feels she hez a man, heart and soul,
jest so soon she haint no use for him; she
begins to sigh, ez the old primer says, for
new worlds to conquer. What she ken have
she don't want, and what she can't have
she wants worst kind.
''It's what schooled people calls the uner-
tainable that everybody's AFTER, specially
women folks. You never want to set too
much store by nothin'; for if you do, you'll
be almost sure to lose it, Struggle to hide
your feelin' all yer ken, whether yer huntin'
for sweetheart, a wife, or a caow In the
case in pint, do your level best to make the
gal think you don't set much store by her.
Don't let on how much took you be with
her, and don't on no account say nothin'
about love, least-wise, not at present, for
the minute yer do, ez the lawyers say, you
weaken yer case. You don't want to show
yer hand till yer dead sure you've won the |
game. You don't want to complicate yer
self, SO to speak, till yer sartin' the girl |
loves ye. Eff she don't, ye'd better be in
yer grave than marry her, and if she does. |
she'll let yer know afore very long, sure ez
I'm settin' here"
So saying, the old man wiped his forehead
with his big red handkerchief, relighted his
pipe, pushed down the burning tobacco with
MS bony thumb and relapsed into silence.
From what humble sources words of wis
lom sometimes spring Much comforted,
Reuben sauntered slowly homeward, his
pathway lighted by the bright summer moon
which had just come over the the hill, fill
ng the little valley with its mellow light.
His heart was much lighter than when he
rod that path before. for he had unburden-
ID it, and he felt that Uncle Josh was right.
So the very next evening he took pretty
oily Baker "buggy riding" and the fol-
owing Sunday evening went "to Meeting''
With her. He did not even pass Kittie's
ouse for four whole days! He came very
ear weakening the second evening, but
nally, with great difficulty, mastered him
elf. What was the result? Why, when
g did go by, nearly week later, Kittie,
Tho had, Of course, heard all about what
ad taken place, walked down to the gate
nd, with one of her sweetest smiles, asked
here he had been for such long time. He
answered, Nowhere to speak of )" and then !
be smiled SO sweetly, and looked at him Z
18th such gentle reproach that he was al '
lost tempted to seize her in his arms and !
eclare his love then and there, but be re- !