davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
TERRITORIAL GOVERNORS.

ihE INo-fkARH SCHEME DlsCOUhAoED
WASHINGTON May 2.--Mr. Garland from
the committee on territories, reported un-
hvorably the house bill requiring the gov
ernors of the territories Of Arizona, Dako-
Ia, Idaho. Montana, New Mexico, Utah,
Washington and Wyoming TO be residents
OF said territory at least two years prior to
appointment. The report sets forth:
The present system OK appointment has
been In force twenty Ave years, and the
committee is not advised OF any such
troubles in its operation that would require
change. Experience has shown that in
many instances, owing to party complica-
iions and unhealthy alliances m these ter
ritories it was almost impossible TO select
impartial persons competent to gil the office
OF governor from the state. II often hap
pens that schemes exist in the territories,
or certain policy prevails, that congress
is anxious to suppress and put an end to.
which every resident otherwise fit TO be
governor, is not only Identified with, but
is exerting himself t. maintain by forcs
and to limit the selection OF residents, as
required, this bill would, in such cases
amount to strife and discord. and often N
breaking the peace and law an exec1tiv,
Is supposed ,C desire to keep and preserv'
ana exert. The general law has wise J!
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
weman's Pntrsesssr..
lPeck's Sun.


An American young lady was on the shore
Of the bay Of Naples, enjoying herself. and q
blue kerosene barrel came floating along, q
barrel such as is used to ship kerosene from
America. The girl looked at the messenger
from home, got to thinking Of her native
land and became so homesick that she started
for home by the first ship. This loyalty to
home, love of ones native land, is in all
hearts. When away from home, the sight Of
the most commonplace thing from the dear
place Of nativity, seems sweet indeed.
The Milwaukee lady who vas in Mexico
and saw a canvas hanging up in front Of q
store labeled with the name Of q Milwaukee,
firm, and wanted to hug the ham, and cried
as she passed il, was made homesick by the
sight. The Milwaukee woman in California
who wanted TO get down on her knees in front
of a Milwaukee beer sign, in front OF q
saloon, illustrated her loyalty TO home. The
Chicago lady, visiting in New York, who
found a newsboy selling her favorite western
paper, and felt so happy that she wanted to
take him in her arms and squeeze him, is an
other illustration Of how thing from home,
Of however little consequence, breaks a per
son all up. But 1t seems laughable to those
who do not understand it, to see a person go
into ecstases over kerosene barrel, or a ham,
or a beer sign, or newspaper from home
They do not understand 1t, unless they have
haen there
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
opher wallowed in the dust at the feet Of
such polka-dot caricaturs Of . gorillas
horrid dream

opher wallowed in the dust at tina feet of
such a polka-dot caricaturs of = eorillas
horrid dream.
Iho,sht a Chinese yoa orca ,or 4 bi,.
ia ras NO, snccsssf,,, i'm The nr,ssss;o, vh,ch
he aimsJ 70 follow Wtatsy,.r be NAV have
hssn in China. hs was No, a ysrv snccassfnl
gos ,n the English langnage nm, h;,, nro,,
tie msn,a, and the clocL sto,,,ad the .aryant
o;r, s.rt In her rssio,ation ana I.rra a.,
Summed tbrongb the nar,or w;naow alltb;s
banpsned within two bours from the time
erected the ,on-earsd knocl- -knaad and Club,
foo,ai oo,ono, In INV hopsahoId
parh.,us th;s nav haya ha., I.r,.,, 49,, "a
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
RIVERS AND HARBoRs.


WASHINGTON, May 3.-The House Com
mittee on Rivers and Harbors to-day fin
ished the river and harbor appropriation
bill, with the understanding, however, it
may be changed at the final meeting to be
held Monday morning. II any change is
made, the members say ii will be reduc-
tion Of some OF the more important appro-
priations. The total Of the bin as COM
pleted is l2,44l 900. For the Mississippi
from the mouth to st. Paul, $4,000, 900:
the Missouri, from the mouth to Sioux
City. $500, 900; and sl90, 900 for the por-
ton about Sioux City aud for removing
obstructions- The Ohio from Pittsburg
TO the mouth, $4,000 one-third being
Tor the Improvement of the canal at Louis
vile. There are no appropriations for
creeks, and of the appropriations asked
iO5 were rejected. In this way Of legisla-
ton general provision was inserted to
prevent obstruction to navigation by
bridges.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
Four or n Kin d.
ITroy Telegram.l

Troy leleSTdinl
A r,stic-looking man sat in the smoking
car of an Omaha train last Tuesday night,
when another rural looking person came in
as this seat takenp asked the newcomer.
aNo, sir, cit down; sit right down" said
the other, making room next him.
Soon the two old farmers were IN conver-
sation.
"Where are you fromr
fromr
"rm pretty near neighbor Of yours. hive
near Kswanee."
"Farmingp
"Yes. Are your
ayes; farming and stock"
"Bcen to town with stockp
"Yes; bought up hundred head Of steers"
II bought hogs"
And 50 the conversation ran on until just
before the train reached Mendoza, and
the two old farmers were right well &C.
quainted. Presently another man who
looked like merchant came in, ari wns sur.
prised to see one Of the old farm
"Well, we'll we'll" said the new nal, I'm
glad to see you; maybe you can help me out
Of III tie embarrassing trouble. l want t.
pay man little bill on the train before
get of at Mendoza and l haven't money
enough. II you will let me have 500 on my
check I'll be very much obliged"
Certainly, I'm glad to do it," and out
came the farmers pocketbook. But alasi he
had only SO in small bills and beautiful,
crisp $50 bill.
you're perfectly welcome to the $40 il
that'll help you out, or to the $500 if you can
get it broke"
"Perhaps your friend can help us OUT the
$40 will hardly answer" said the merchant,
and then he apologized for making 50 much
trouble.
WELL" softly said TIE other farmer, who
until now had been silently looking on, Il
can't change $500 bill, but l can give you
another one for 1t. and think II came out Of
the same batch and was printed on the SAGE
press"
And turning to the other old farmer -
added: "If your partner hadn't come just
as he did mine would have been here in a
minute. I've been getting ready to work on
that same game ever since We left Chicago"
At Mendoza four very Disguised confidence
men steppel off the train and stood around
in the cold waiting for the next train return
ing to Chicago.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
The Humorist Delivers . Sermon
Upon the Oriental and
Oolong Josh
TBill Nye in Puck.l

lDui ENyo III Il uch.I
Iprcsumc that shall not be accused Of
sacrilege in referring to the Chinese god as
an inferior piece OF art. Viewed simply from
an artistic and economical standpoint, IL
seems to me that the Chinaman should have
less pride in his bow legged and inefficient
god than in any other national institution
do not wish to be understood as inter
fering with any mans religious views; but
when polygamy is made Q divine decree, or
bass-wood deity is whitfield out and painted
red, to look up TO and TO worship, i cannot
treat tnat so-called religious belief with
courtesy and reverence. i am quite liberal
In all religious matters. People have noticed
that and remarked it, but the Oriental god
Of commerce seems to me to be greatly over
rate He seems to lack that genuine de-
cision Of character which should be a feature
of an over-ruling power.
ask the phrenologist to como with ms
and examine the head Of the alleged Josh,
and to state whether or not he believes that
the properly balanced head Of successful
god should not have more prominent knob
Of spirituality, and a lesser pronounced
alimentiveness Should the bump Of com
bativeness hang up over the ear, while time,
tune and calculation are noticeably reticenti
/ certainly wot not
Again, how can the physiognomy "a the
celestial Josh be consistent with q moral and
temperate godi The low brow would not
indicate pronounced omniscien"o nd the
Jumbo ears and the copious Ia, ~ 80 Id not
impress me with the idea O Tss4y and
spirituality.
1t Is, no donbt, wrong to attack sacred
matters for the purpose Of gaining notoriety;
but believe am right when assert that the
Chinese god must 60. We should not be
Puritanical, but ve might safely draw the
line at the bow-legged and sedentary goddess
Of leprosy.
II Confucius bowed tho suppliant knee "a
that gosgle-eye.l Jim jam Josh, am grieved
TO know it II such was the case, the friend,
OF Confucius should keep tho matter from
me. l cannot believe that the Vreat philos
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
The Mad Majority.


The saints and sages have said H. Mr..
Matthew Arnold says it. 1t must be so. "The
majority are bad" Whether we are ia the
majority or Of the remnant, we may rs well
admit the fact first as last. Mr. Arnold has
come all the way from London to Chicago to
tell us this And he is very much in earnest
about it There is no use in fooling Self
delusion and s"lf-hattery are foolish and
mischievous Things are what they
are, and the consequences of them will
be what they will be, said the sing
ularly clear-beaded Bishop Butler
Why then should we desire to be deceived, ,
The bad are always in the majority; "the
few" says Cardinal Newman, "can never
mean the many" That "the majority are
bad" was Plato's affirmation, and the rem
nant were impotent Isaiah spoke to the
same effect. The kingdoms of Israel and
Judah were about as had as Athens. "The
whole head is sick, and the whole heart
faint" "Many are called, few
are chosen" said the Master Him.
self. IPatriotism is the last refuge
Of a scoundrel," says the blunt DR..
johnson. Thirty million Englishmen,
mostly fools" growls Carlyle. And our
apostle of sweetness and light is Of much the
same mind. The sages and saints were apt
to be severe, it is true; apt TO take a gloomy
view Of the society in which they lived, and
TO prognosticate evil too. But then he says,
IL must be added, their representation
were pretty apt to turn out true.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
aY RERITAGE
TElla Wheeler.1


I into life no full Of love was sen.
That all the shadows which fall in the way
OF every human being could not stay,
But fed before the light my spirit leht.
saw the world through gold and crimson
dyes;
Men sighed, and said, Those rosy hues viii
fade
As you pass on into life's glare or shade"
Still beautiful the way seems to mine eyss
They said, "You are too jubilant and glad;
The world is full of sorrow and Of wrong;
Full soon your lips shall breathe forth sighs
not song"
The day wears on, and still am not sad.
They said. "You love too largely, and you
must,
Through wound on wound, grow bitter to
your kind"
They were false prophets Day by day l
More cause for love, and less cause for dis
trust
They said, TOO free you give your souls
The world will quaf, but it will not re-
ay"
Yet into tho emptied fagons. day by day,
True hearts pour back nectar as divine
Thy heritage! Is il not Loves estatei
Look TO il then, and keep its soil well titled
] hold that my best wishes are fulfilled
Because love 80 much, and cannot hate.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07

The New York Tribune's revised table
gives Blaine 379 votes in the convention;
the Philadelphia Press gives him 357; the
New York Sun 800; the New York Times,
BAG; the Philadelphia Times, 29s. The
Philadelphia Press gives Arthur 2S2 votes;
the New York Sun, 29s; and the New York
lines 267. The other candidates, Ed
munds, Logan, Sherman, Gresham and
Hlwley, are given by tina Ph Philadelphia
Times an aggregate vote of l65, and 9s
votes are elassed as uncertain. The Chi
cago Inter Ocean has Arthur elected al
most. The Times and Tribune, Blaine,
and the St. Paul Press thinks Edmunds
will get there
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
Neglected Buckingham Palace.
London Truth

Ne&fecteO buciuGnam Foioces
London Truth
Tbs queen for nearly quarter Of q oen-
tury has never occupied Buckingham palace
for more than six days in each year. 1t cost
an enormous amount to bui'd, and several
thousands are yearly expeni'4 "a its riain-
tenance. 1t Is sumptuous-y furnished in
every part. and contains miles of fine pic
tures: and there it stands year after year, no
body ever entering in IL, except on four aft.
ernoons when drawing rooms are held, ard
on four evenings when state balls or concerts
are given. II ought either to be understood
that this palace should be open to royal visi-
tors OF high rank, or IL should be converted
into hospital or museum. The vast sum
which the queen receives every year from the
country is not given to be boarded up, but is
intended to maintain the stats and dignity
Of the crown.
The English court has gradually acquired
q most unpleasant reputation abroad for
extreme parsimony, and one - Id think
that instead Of the civil list c,'..sss amount
ing TO over G500, 900 year, the queen was
only In receipt of tenth of that anIount. So
far as expense goes Il saves q royal visitor
little or nothing 10 be guest at @the palace.
The tips which sre given are enormous
When the Emperor Nicholas passed Ascot
week at Windsor castle. In ,s&4, he left f3..
900 for the servants, and gave twelve gold
and diamond snuff boxes to the lords and
gentlemen of the household. In 1855 the
Emperor Napoleon gave 81 500 TO the Wind
sor servants, and last year the king of the
Netherlands expended nearly Ri,Oo in the
same way. In fact, believe tbs lord stew
ard keeps Q regular tariff Of what is ex-
pected, the amount varying according to the
rank Of the guest, and this Is formally pre-
sented to the principal personags IN attend
ancs on him.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07

Gov. Ordway was indicted at the recent
term OF the grand jury at Yankton for
crookedness in organization Of counties.
Being spprised Of it, he went TO Vermil-
lion, "a miles from Yankton, sent mes
senger to have his bond made out, and
asked to be spared the humiliation Of ar
rest. His request was granted. A banker
of Vermillion and Alex Mckenzie are his
bondsmen. The grand jury having read
his attacks on Judge Edgerton and U. S.
Attorney Campbell passed resolutions vim
dicating those gentlemen and saying that
the evidence before them disclosed a state
OF affairs that made it their duty 10 indict
the governor. The indictment on which
he gave bond is for bribery in Faula
county. He was invited to 90 before the
grand jay and tell all he knew of attempts
TO bribe him. but notwithstanding his loud
complaints that the opportunity lad not
been given him he did not avail himself
Of the privilege extended.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
NO Partnership.


w
A bull who had been roaming around the
country for several years, tossing up every
object he could get his horns under, one day
met a bear and said:
"See here stranger, why can't you and
i've Oh better terms"
"Howr
"Why, let us travel together and whack up
the profits You do : seem to be such a bad
fellow, and know there's nothing mean
about me-
any dear SIR" softly replied the bear, as he
brushed fly off his nose, did we enter into
partnership there would he no profits. As it
is, toss is followed b. squeeze, and vice
versa Did we both attack the same victim
at once We should certainly quarrel and give
him chance to escape"
that's so-that's so, unused the bull, and
be lifted Wabash point and beloved to the
bear to look out for tumble.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
ryr,cE-y,spER CULTURE

u. s, Land Office, Huron Dakota, March %. 1884
Complaint having been entered at this office by
Willis H. Barnes against Edward Dewitt for failure
IN comply with law a. 20 Timber-Culture Gentry
No. 9loL Mitchell, dated June %, lSs2. J. Don the
southwest quarter of section S5, township Ill,
range ~ in Hand county, Dak ota, with a view to
the cancellation of said rn.rv; contestant alleging
that the said Edward Dewitt has failed to break
any OF said l9nd within the first twelve tl2 months
after filing that there in no breaking at ts the
land; that he has wholly failed 30 comply with the
law for TIMBER culture iling. The said parties are
hereby summoned 10 appear at this ofiic- on the
2l day OF May, 1854, sc O'Clock A. NJ to res pond
and furnish testimony conforming said alleged
failure. O, II. ARMSTRONG. Register
April 10.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
A ReyOlutiOnlst.

I"Mentor" IN ChIcaSp Herald.
@Have drink, strangeri" said a fellow
passenger on a Chicago-b bound train, as he
passed a quart bottle Don't he 'fraid Of it;
it's bes'n'lan. Shl keep mum now, N I'll tell
ye secret I'm goin' to Mexico to start a
rev'lution. Starter jusuz e-e-zy's fallin' of
log Ill get big gang N wen JUS open ont
on em in some weak spot r other, promise
the id natives fat offsiz, an then you'll juss
seer oil rey'lution hum. Take mother drink,
stranger, n jine my 'spedition to Mezzico"
The bibulous adventurer then bounced him
self from seat TO seat to the water-cooier,
brave, Dragging aud boozy. Three hours
later saw a sick, limp indiVi idual, too far
goue to talk or spit, AIDED into the patrol
wagon on South State street. His revolution
bad taken place.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
SheriH's Sale.

Territory Of Dakota ss.
W. T. Crecelius snd L. Or .celius vs.. II. l. GarlCk
and Ann Garlck.
Notice ~ hereby given that by virtue Of an eNecu-
ton 70 me directed and delivered and now In my
hands issned out OF the Clerks once of the Second
Judicial District Court Territory of Dakota and
for the county of Hand upon judgment rendered
In said court in favor Of W. II. Crecclius and J. l..
Crecelius and against II. l. Garlick and Ann nGarick,
have levied on the following described real estate
north y of northeast Il OF section 10, town III.
range sS in said county and that shall on satur-
day the 8st day Of May 1884 at the hour Off o'clock
p M of said day a, the steps of the postofice door
Of the town Of Miller, Hand county. D. T., proceed
to sell all the right title and interest OF the above
named defendants H. l. 6arlick and Ann Garlick
in and to the above dcstribed property TO satisfy
said Judgment and costs amounting 10 si6Si5 to-
gther with all aeeruing cost 81 sale and interest
the same from the 24th day Of March lsSi at the
rate OF Z per cent per annum at public auction 10
the highest bidder for cash.
Dated at Miller the 29th day OF March 1884.
l. p. GRIFFITH.
Sheriff Of the county Of Hand, d. T.
a. q. HuTsos. Plaintiffs Attorney.
apae0t5
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07

The April debt statement shows the re-
,luetion for the month to have been about
half that of March and about so per cent
greater than that OF April, 1883. There
las been decided falling off in the reve-
nue. during the ten months Of the fiscal
year as compared with the preceding year,
the difference being about 5000, 900.
The falling of in customs receipts has been
about $li, ,O00, 900, and in internal revenue
about 500, 200, 900.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
Norrcr-.1IMnrR crIrunr.

U. s. LAND OFFICE. HUnoS. DAKOTA Feb 2S 1874
Complaint having been entered at this offies by
Thomas 4. Williams against Squire Campbell for
failure to comply with law 10 timber culture entry
number 9igJ Mitchell. dated July 4th. 1852.
upon the east q Nv 4 west q Sc Il sec 6 township
l69 range 81. In Hand county, Dakota with view
TO the cancellation Of said entry; contestant al
legng that said Campbell has not made
any improvements whatever: the said parties
are hereby summoned 10 appear before D. D. Mi
lam, Notary Public at Miller OAK on June 2, 1854
at o a. m TO respond and furnish testimony regard
ing the alleged failure. Final bearing 10 examine
testimony and render decisi n at this once the
1th day OF June, -. ats O'Clock sm.
apr23 q b ARMSTRONG Register,
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07

left the president free to select the officers
from any part Of the country he may
choose. II is extremely doubtful whether
any law could limit the president in this
respect Tie power ofappointment given
by the constitution Is broad and without
limit. The committee is OF the opinion
that law could as well restrict the pre-, j.
dent in this matter to residents in any one
state or persons Of certain height or
weight or OF q particular complexion.
Such law would be manifestly impolitic
if not liable to executional objection"
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07
EnalRpd's Jam.


Mr.. Gladstone has discovered the remedy
for agricultural distress III England II
seems that the condition of the English
farmer was never so wretched as now. His
-ows cease TO yield. His fruit trees are
barren. Even the sugar with which he
,weetened the cup of adversely is imported
rom America But Mr.. Gladstone, spea king
% the Hawardcn tenantry. bids them bo of
rood cheer. They may be forced to depend
On America for their beef and mutton their
Dread and milk, but they still may have their
own jam. "Janl," says the premier, .is
aking new position in the world. 1t will
lake new position in England" Unhappy
England Once the food supplisr of the
universe, now satisfied with the monopoly Of
llm!
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07

s:sw ssSstsr Ia Texas Set n Com-
munity to Searching the Scrip
lures.
Cor Inter Ocean.
At Texarkana we met q gentleman who
would make a good study for a novel II was
Dr. Biedler, who used to live in Illinois. He
is one of the most original and entertaining
characters l ever met, anu is engaged in act
ing in the leading part in a comedy from one
day to another He is a large land owner
and man of considerable wealth, energetic
and public spirited, but has way of doing
-hings that does not always please the ma
lives.
Not long ago he was in a row with the
town, and got the worst of il. He took his
revenge in a manner that was at once origi-
nal aud effective He got large quantity
Of white sign boards, on which he had painted
in large black letters references to Scripture
passages. During the night he took a step
ladder and nailed them up in conspicuous
places all over the town On the court house
door, ON the fences. on the telegraph poles
and on the dead walls, when morning came,
the astonished citizens bsheli such legends as
"See Romans xii, TO-" 'Ses Acts v, co.
"See Job xv, H." "See IL. Corinthians, tx,
T." See Romans xii, Ills"
Never was there such demand for Bibles
In Texarkana before and never since. Men
were going around the streets with the holy
word in their hands, hunting up the passages
referred to, and when they read on the sign
board
"And now, o Lord, look upon their threat
enings, and grant unto Thy servant to speak
with all boldnsss."
They knew it was Bieilers way Of rebuk-
ing them And when they saw staring them
In the face the words:
But tho, gh ! am rude in speech, yet am
not in knowledge, and ye do well to bear
with me-"
They regarded the suggestion as very ap-
propriate and forcible.
For weeks these sign-boards were the talk
Of the town, and Biedler succeeded ia divert
ing public attention IL he didn't ace mp ish
anything els After they had accom- 'iisiei
their work. Biedler took his object-lessou,
down and nailed them to the trees in q park
he has given to the city, where they now
stand to point mora! and adorn a tale.
Hand County press. (Miller, Dakota [S.D.]) 1882-1893, 1884-05-07

Fitzgerald, the New York ex-Alderman,
won the walking match, beating Rowell,
the English champion. The two men
showed each other all sorts of little courts-
sizes during the match. Preparations are
being made at Long Island City for the
reception OF Fitzgerald. He will be re-
ceiyed by the Mayor and Alderman, and
rendered the freedom Of the city. Wealthy
citizens will present him with mansion,
and it is said he will receive an important
municipal appointment.