Morning journal and courier., 1884-05-26
sENTE NTIOUs.

Can anybody tell what bottle of cologne is sold for? Usually for 8 (s) cent. All the early martyrs were not poor. John the Baptist twas one sent ahead in the will dsrness."-N. Y. Graphic.
 -"Boys, can you tell me anything renarka. bls in the life of Meses?" asked Sabbath school teacher. f'Yes, sir,' shouted one of the boys, he broke all the commandments st ones.r Proof positive. 4 small boy testified in an Austin justices court that the sfrsy took place on Sunday. "How do you know it WAS on 6 Sunday?" Because that day l had to 20 to the side door of saloon to get beer for dinner. "-Texas Siftings.
 s'Oh, Mir. Solo" remarked gushing young lady to 8 rather bashful vocalist, ''why don't you go into society more and let us honize you?" stMy dear Miss G." replied the singer, s'there was but one man who was not spoiled by ionizing." And who was that, pray2n Daniel. ''-Oil City Derrick. The thirty Mohammedans travelling with Forepaugh's show five times each day piously kneel, turn their faces towards the east and repeat prayer. We should think it would be necessary for man travelling with circus to pray at least five times day if he wished to retain his grip on religion--Norristown Herald.
 Religious Joke: Some time since gen. tleman died, vho during life, refused to be- lieve in any future punishment, Two or three weeks after his death his wife received through q spiritual medium the following communication, Dear wife, now believe Please send my thin clothes and a barrel of ice Water.-ChristiRn ct Work. P ''So your husband is a drummer" re- marked Mrs Smith. t'You'll excuse me for saying it, but they do say that drummers are awful hirts. Is it really SOP" II don'vknoy anything about the others" replied Mrs Green; ''but know that John isn't. Why, he doesn't take any notice of the women at all Leastways he doesn't take any notice of me when he is at home, and he'd be more likely to take notice of nae than other wo men.-Boston Transcript"
 To know whether garden has been plant ed or not, western paper gives the follow ing rule; ''If one forgets whether beds are planted or not, good way to tell is to turn g stray cat into the garden. If the beds are planted the cat will proceed to race around and dig into them, and act as if it had rela- tives in China whom it was anxious to get at; while, if they are not, it will sit down calmly in the path and seem to be meditasing on the progress of missionary work in Africa A cats instinct seldom deceives in this matter.
 WASH DE DIRT OFF YER FACE.
 when ole man GAb'el blows de win fru his hon, Oh sinner, wash de dirt of yer face;
 De foIksII come er-runnin' like de hogs a'ter COT Oa sinner wash de dirt of yer fac zs He'll hua de holy 2n' Kiss 'em on de jaw,
 Oh, sinnsr wash de dirt of yer face;
 But alas fur de isgar whut hab trihed wid de law Oh, sinner, wash dc dirt of yer face.
 Oh, Mars Moses gim me yer han,
 An hep me fur to come fru de gate.
 Yer knows, Mazs Moses, dat wanster jins de ban's
 Fore de hour 1t hab growed too late,
 Mars Moses, fore ths hour 1t hab growed
 too late.
 De p3' worl'ly man eats de hoechke O sin
 On, sinner wash de dirt of yer face:
 AA' when he chsws it ,, oh, de debh how he grin, Oh, siaazr,. wash de dirt of yer face; De 'gsnaEatad man eats de hea6enly pie
 Oh, sinner. wssh ds dirt oil yer fsce; An den hing the crumbs in Mr. Satan's eye '-Oh sinner, waah de dirt oil yer face.
 Oh, Mars Aaron, ring yer ball,
 And let us heAh all the good newss
 Fur we all wanster drink from de ternal
 well,
 Wid goP all ober oar shoes,
 Mars Aaron, wid goF all ober our shoes.
 -Arkansaw Traveller.