Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-02-23
Press Pieasantries.

Know thy neighbor; the proper study
Of mankind is to find out who ne Is.
Boston girls are taking to the banjo.
and their beaus are taking 10 the woods.
"Fm at your service, madam, said
the polite burglar when caught with his
arms full Of silver ware.
A German philosopher says: 'viskey
makes you kill somebody else; init peer
You only kills yourself.
"The falling Of the foods" is sug.
gested as q good theme for Cincinnati
poets. They should be careful to keep
out Of water that is too deep for them.
Cuffs are worn all the way from the
palm Of the hand to the ear, same ms
last season and the season before that,
clear back TO the time they were in
vented. raulfinM gEPrH
II like your new hat very mueh," he
said; ''it's 'ohich', there's a sort of
abandon" There isn't any sort OF
band on it, she said, pointing, "it's .
real ostrich feather" lrsll
NO." I'll never speak to him again, I"
said determined maiden after quar-
rel with her lover. "The oyster season
is not over two weeks old, and he hasn't
yet asked me to haveany." rii
A philosopher says that Miss Alcott's
tendency to fall In love with pretty girls
instead of handsome mon Is one Of the
eccentricities Of genius. Guess il must
be. We are the same way. 4&H
Added to his other crime, Mcdowell,
the murderer confined in the county Jail
Of San Bernardino, plays the accordian.
He should be executed at once. No
mercy should be shown the wretch. IS.
b. Times. jay 4fA tH
Offering in detail. Mother-'I am
afraid Mr.. Crissecross Is not serious In
his attentions Daughter = "He is
awful bashful, you know; but he's offer
ing himself piecemeal. Last night he
wanted me to take his arm"
Clara playfully tapped Augustus on
the head as il knocking at the door.
Come in," said Augustus, facetiously.
Thanks, dear, said Clara. 81 don't
like to go into an empty room, It's SO
cheerless and lonesome e-like, you know. :"
"Tve got a pencil that writes all
eolors," said Stumpleg to his wife.
what color DO you want II TO write,"
His wife suggested red, aud with one
foot ready for jump, Stumpleg calmly
spelled out red" with his black pencil.
We would not sacrifice principle for
consistencys sake, but certain con.
sistency is desirable. For instance, Mr..
Choate, the learned and witty lawyer,
made an error when, in the Cesnola
case, he called the opposing counsel,
Mr.. Bangs, 'jackass, and soon after
alluded to him as my learned brother" I"
New York papers say that William
II. Vanderbilt and Frank Work are enc
mics still, and never speak as they pass
by. We always thought Vanderbilt
was too rich to have anything to do with
-Aw we'll! Somebody told you, or else
you read II somewhere else. What's the
use trying to be smart and original when
somebody else gets oil fellows jokes
of before fellow has time to think of
them? t.e .... : 1
A Connecticut woman has been doing
a thriving business by chloroforming
poultry and selling her plumber to the
marketmen through the aid of an ac-
complice. Hers was fowl crime, and
the people of the Nutmeg State, who
have hitherto been troubled only by
such trifling piccadilloes as murder and
arson, are naturally alarmed at the vast
strides which crime is making in their
dear old commonwealth.