davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-06-06
Dame Weasel and Her Husband.

When Dame WcaSefs son was born
she called her husband and said: go
find the swaddling clothes that l want
and bring them to me-"
The husband listened attentivcly to his
wife's words and said: '"What swad-
ding clothes do you want2"
And Dame Weasel replied 81 want
an elephants skim"
The poor husband was stupifed by this
request, and asked his better half if she
was not little out of her head; the
only answer Dame Weasel made was
to toss the child into his arms and dis
appear.
She went to seek the earth-worm, and
said to him: Gossip, my grounds are
full of turf help me to Shake it up a
little"
AS soon as the earth worm began to
burrow, Dame Weasel called a hen
Gossip" said she, my turf is fun of
carth-woims, come and help me get rid
of them"
The hen hurried to the spot, ate the
worm and began to scratch up the
soil.
A little farther on Dame Weasel met
the cat Gossip said she, "there are
some hens in my garden; while | am
away suppose you take walk in that
direction"
The next moment the cat had eaten
the hen. While the cat was RECALLING
herself, Dame Weasel said to the dog:
Good, sir will You leave the cat in
possession of such Il wide domain"
The dog, furious, rushed to kill the
cat, not wishing any one but himself to
be lord of the country.
The lion now passing by, Dame
Weasel saluted him with profound re-
spect. "My lord, said she, don't go
near that field, it belongs to the dog"
Whereupon the lion, full of jealousy,
fell upon the dog and deyoured him.
1t was now the elephants turn Dame
Weasel begged his support against the
lion, and the elephant entered US pro
tector on the grounds of the supplant.
But he did not know that the pertidous
weasel had dug deep hole in her gar
den and covered it with underbrush.
The elephant fell into the snare and
killed himself in tbs fall; the lion, who
feared the elephant, fled into the forest.
Dame Weasel now had the elephants
skin, and showed it to her husband, say
ing, 81 asked you for the elephants skin,
here it is"
The husband of Dame Weasel had not
known before that his wife was cleverer
than all the beasts of the earth, and still
less had he imagined that she could be
cleverer than himself. But he found out
at last, and that is why we say, "As
sharp as weasel. - Wisdom Of Nations.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-06-06

At II o'clock yesterday forenoon a
couple of eXcursionists took seats on the
east portico of the City Hall, directly I'M
der the window Of the chief of police.
He was bcan-pole looking chap of
twenty three, with dust an inch deep on
his back, and she was an auburn haired
angel of twenty, wearing Il solid shoe,
and chewing three guilds of gum rolled
into one. For long time they sat and
looked at the fountains and sighed
and were silent. Then he tenderly
queried
Hammer, isn't it dreamy ~
"Yum," she answered.
81 could sit here forever" he wills
81 don't believe l could-Td be hun
cry"
More silence and signs, and then
he took her elbow in his hand and said /:
"IIanner, I'm hungry now"
didn't you bring II biscuit along 2"
"Hungry for your love, Hanner-not
for biscuits. Hammer, s'posen we s'posen
a case
"WellN
"S'posen knew justice of the peace
who would marry us 2"
GLOW much T.
1.-TWO dollars
"IIave you got the money ~
"IIanncr, do you doubt my love I've
got seventy-tve cents, and I'll hunt
up the Harker boys and borrow the
rest"
I'm afraid"
NOW, Hammer"
"Oh, can't; you know my folks
don't like you"
" Hammer, hitch this way till | talk to
you. S'posen bought you candy and
peanuts and watermelons! S'posen you
realized my great love, and concluded to
hitch to me before some other girl cap
turcd the price We'd gently slip down
these steps, turn the corner of this state
ly cdifce, walk to the shop of a justice,
and you'd have me and I'd have you"
oh, dear, but pa would rave"
"IIold on, Hammer. Your pa needn't
know it-no one will know it. We'd
keep it as silent as the grave until had
made your old man respect me for what
| am. Gimme half show and I'll make
your pa foller me round like calf with
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-06-06

This power never varies. marvel OF
purity, ST. engtRand wholes oneness. More
economical than tie ordinary kinds. end
cannot be sold in COM etition with the null
titude. of low test, short weight, alum or
phosl b tie powders. Sold only in cans.
ROYAL BAKING POWDER CO., LOG Wall
street, New York.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-06-06
A Physician and His Fees.

The late DR., Parker had reached his
eighty-fourth year, was the richest ply
stefan in this city, and had accumulated
million by his profession and by judi
cious investments, say II New York cor
respondent of the Troy Times. lie had
the cream of the medical practice and
could charge any fee lat he chose to
name. An instance of this is as fol ows
A rich young man of this city went into
the country and broke his leg. Parker
was ordered by telegraph and visited the
patient, thus losing day. The bill was
81 600. DIR. Parker, like most of the
successful men, came hither from the
country, being a native of the old Gran
itc state. When he came to this city
DR.. Mott stood at the head of the profes-
sioa, but Parker rose rapidly, and when
Mott died he took the place thus made
vacant. He learned from Mott how to
charge. well remember the time when
the latter removed small tumor from
the neck of one of my friends. The tu-
MOE was not larger than walnut, and
the operation was done in less than five
minutes, but the bill was $3.50. Some skill
full surgeons would have done il Just as
wei! for one-tenth of that sum, but Mott
charged for his reputation and that
seems to be the rule in life.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-06-06
why He Took to Tramping.

A country tramp who brought up at n
farm house few days ago claimed to
have had all manner of bad luck, and
among other things he mentioned that
three of his fingers on the right hand had
been so badly frozen during a cold snap
in Dakota that the doctor had amputated
them.
'Let me see, replied the farmer. A
dirty paw was held out in response.
''Why your fingers are all here and all
right"
"Oh, of course, they are all right now
but during the three years it took to
grow new ones got so badly in debt
that lost all hopes and took to tramp
ingw
He got his dinner. st. Louis RepuJH-
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-06-06
A Generous Offer.

Mr.. Greatheart was meandering down
Connecticut avenue Tuesday evening, So
liloquizing on the beauties of nature and
a concrete sidewalk, when his old friend,
Acibades Henderson, hailed him from
a buggy.
"Howdo2" said Mr.. Greatheart.
"Taking drive for your healthl'
"Not precisely" was the answer. 81
am going out to see a man who wants to
buy horse. What will you give me for
my nag, Greatheartl'
Mr.. Greatheart viewed the animal
which gave numerous evidences of CLAN
ders, heaves and SPAWN, and then he an
swercd philosophically:
"a prescription.
Mr.. Henderson drove on.-Hatchet.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-06-06
OUR HUMOROUS MELANGE.
coM1cAL STORIES FOR THE LOVERS
OF FUN.

Law and Mcdicinc-Why Eue Took
TO Tramping-A Generous Offer
wanted To See the sample.
''Stop that coughing over there" cried
New York judge. "Such coughing dis
turbs the business of the court"
There was short, painful silence,
writes Eli Perkins, during which a pale,
consumptive man struggled with himself,
then coughed again, and continued it for
several minutes.
Ppm bound to stop that coughing"
exclaimed the judge. 'Ill fine you $40.
| think that will stop it."
"Jedge," said the cadaverous man,
cpd be willin' to pay $40 to have that
cough stopped. If you can stop it for
$40, you'd better get down off that bench
and go to practicing medicine. There's
money in it, jedge-money in It'll"
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
LANCASTER'S PRESIDENT.
rwENrY-sErES YEARS 400 Ar THE
NATIONAL CAPITAL.
Ceremonies ut the Inauguration OF james
Buchanan-One Hundred and fif'y Tho"-
sand strangers In Washington Even nj
That Day--sccncs and incidents.
FROM the Cleveland Leader.


From the Cleveland Leader
When buchanan wns inauguratcd ON the
an of March 1857 Washington was hardly
,,o.,, ,,,.,, ,,i,,a,, s,,,t,erinu over territory
49,. ','', "' e., 81 ,rnmcnsn citv. n con.
hrHe eno"Hn w ~. -, ,, s..,,'s.'.,s
mncd less than sN'S 'no"sa'" .nnap'sn''
and what were then considcreu the nnes,
houses were Just below the capitol and above
the avenue. Tho fashionable northwest
,,a,, ~ ,bo ,,t,, ,.as , svamn and eyeu Tho
,,, - . 49,, -, 49,,
"ct'" ""'' "".n 49, fs W
yet appeared. Inc wnoie country cohtaineo
less than thirty millions OF population.
Still, the records state that 10000 strangers
came to zee the inauguration, and ON the
MIGHT or tho qd az March ,bous,nda yr,,l cd
, 80
INC streets 10 Keep warm, "'hg unapie 10
procure lodgings several oi the uiherent
hotels, small as they were then, had 500
guests registered and every boarding house
was packed halls cellar. and oarr,t
~, or -. ,.,...,. ..'t.,,., -, .,,a ,ho
', ou o" "us pi'an Wi"',' "v' 49, ~
prcsiueht ciect rose before oay"ehh :" h's
nome at Wheatland, Pp, ana hah hhishcu
breakfast before he started for Lancaster In
his carriage. He had written and rewritten
his inaugural message, and he made only one
change IN ID after he got 10 Washington. a
land To escort him to the depot, and "A band
of music played while he rode into town
with his private secretary, Mr.. Henry, Har-
rlet Lane, and another young lady IN his car
riago.
At the Lancaster station he found n special
ear waiting for him, built for the occasion by
Robert Magmw, u railroad friend Of his. This
car had painted windows, and these repre-
seniod the scenes about Whcatland. Prcsi-
dent Buchunnn's home. Al along the road
from Lancaster to Washington ovatons were
given the President elect, but hc arrived in
Washinpton two hours earlier than MAS OK
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
WELL MINED.
A Hand Cars Flying Trip-why lie Calls II
The Bird"

~ ttaho WI hlP-NhS ht sahs ~
The Bird"
From the Chicago Herani
our train stopped AT way station by the
side of the track stood a hand car, with the
name - The Bird" painted on it, The see
tion boss and his men We're there waiting for
the passengers 10 get out ol their way "fow
did you come TO name your car that ~ was
asked of the boss, who pufied ut his black
clay pipe and replied THAT was the result
ofa incident, your honor. Twas good
many years ago. whin l was green 'un on
the section. One evening was in hurry
to get from the three hundred and forty
second mile post where we had worked that
day, into town. Ge see, l had girrul thin
days--the same what's now there in the cabin
attindin' to the kids. 1t happened the track
. inspector was helpin' of me align bad curve
and sc whin No. s came along he signals her
and gets aboard it being II Saturday night and
him anxious to git home over Sunday ye
know. An idea struck me all of
sudden, and 50 said Get out the
rope, byes, and hitch her on be-
hind The boys did it, too, and soon we
were whizZin' toward town. The 'taties
won't be cold this night said one of the byes,
gleefully. This beats workin' of our pass
age, said mother. At first we enjoyed il, but
purity soon we got TO going faster and faster,
. when it want so funny, The handles of the
machine went up and down like mad we
had 10 let go our hold, an if one Of 'em had
struck man of us IL 'ud Killed him dead.
We had TO hang about the edges of the car,
an il bobbin' upan' down an jumpin' around
like o rubber ball. l had Just whipped out
my knife to cut the rope with, whin,
begob, wonderful thing took place.
The hand car just raised up her
self Off the rails and sailed right out
behind like flag Up in the air like a
streamer, three fut il an inch from the track
AN it's Gods truth I'm tellin' ye-we flew
along like birrud. The handles stopped
workin' 'caus the wheels didn't touch moth
ing but air, and the danger of being Drained
was over We was a'runnin' a mile min
ute thin, am for six miles we sailed in the air
like balloon. Whom she Stacked up we was
so lucky as to have tho wheels of our hand
car TO come square down ON the rails. Thin
cut the rope glad, You kin bet TO reach the
end of my first and last journey IN the air.
That's how my car come to be named ''rhc
Bird"
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

L. the most effective Pain Destroyer in the world
WIN most surely quicken the blood whether
taken INTERNALLY or applied externally, and
thereby more certainly RELIEVE PAIN,
whether chronic or acute, than any other pain
ulleyiator, aud II IL warranted double the
strength of any similar preparation.
1t cures pain in the side, Back Bowels, Sore
Throat, rheumatism Toothachc and ALL
ACHES, and IL The Great RcliCvcr OF Pain.
BROWNS UOU SEIiOLD PANACEA should
hc In every family. AtcaSpounful A of the Panacea
IN tumblcr of hot water Isweetencd. II pre-
fcrred,l taken at bedtime. will BREAK UP A
COLD = cents a bottle
n3IIydM, saw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

4 cold dark night,
some falling snow;
a CLEAN Of light,
x ruddy glow,
A quaint old hail,
some warriors grim,
Whose shadows fall
Grotesquo and aim.
A maiden falr,
4 CLEAN OF gold
Upon her halt
The story old.
While the storms breath.
swcepe DER the snow,
one kiss beneath
The mistlctoc.
Ten Christmas ewes
Have come and gone,
And euch one leaves
Me still alone.
That fair sweet maid
OF years ago
Has long been laid
Beneath the snow.
While the wind drives
Against the pane,
In fancy lives
Ny love again.
The nrclight fades,
The eulcrs glow,
one kiss beneath
The mistletoc.
Chambers journal.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
MoTmERs, MoTnERsM MoTHERsN IA

Ave YOU disturbed nj night and broken of your
rest by u sick child suffering and crying with
the excruciating pain of cutting teeth? IL So,
20 at once aid get IA bottle of Mrs. WlSsLOW'S
SOOTHING SYRUP, IL will relieve the poor
little sufferer immediatcy-depend upon IL (;
there il No mistake about IL. There Is not
mother ON earth who has ever used it, who viii
not tell you ut once that II VIII regulate the
bowels, and give rest to tEe mother, and relief
aud health to the child operating like magic. II
Is perfectly safe to In all cases, and pleasant
to the aste, and is the prescription Of of the
oldest and best female physicians In the United
states. sold every where. y cents bottle
may3l-lydM, W SAW
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
The neadlnr Reducing salaries.

The receivers of the Philadelphia a Read
ing railroad company have ordered reduc-
ton of salaries TO take effect on Jan. |, of all
officers, and other employees, excepting those
of trainmen, wharf laborers, and crews of
steam colliers, and of miners and laborers at
dependent ON the price of coal. The reduc-
tion ranges from TO 20 per cent according To
the salary, the percentage of reduction increas-
ing with the amount of salary. 1t is estimated
that the proposed reduction will save 10
the company from 81 ,000,00 TO sl,t000O0 pei
annuln
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
TO A FACE AT A CONCERT.

When the low music makes a dusk of sound
About Us, ana the viol of flron horn
'swells out above IL like wind forlorn,
Tint wanuers seeking something never found,
What phantom IN your brain, on what dim
ground,
Traces its shaduwy lines What vision, born
OF unful II IN mt liades In mere selfseorn,
or grows, from that siili twilight stealing
rouude
whoa the lids droop and the hands lie unstruns,
Dare one divine our dream, while the chords
weave
Their cloudy woof from key 20 key, and die
Is IL one fate that, since the world was young,
Has followed man, aud makes him halt beies 4
The voice of instruments human cry
II. H. bitf tR ne Ccafary.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

IL bound To rise crowd down and smother the
truth ns you may concerning ThOHidS' Eciccfric
OH yet the cts Will rise up that 1t is one of the
best remedies for aches, sprlins, aud pains that
has eyer vet been invented. For sale by II. d.
Cochran, druggist, lJ7 and la9 North Queen
III
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
YOUNG MEN Tread THIS.

TUE NoLrAlC BELT Co, OF Marshall, Mich, offer
Ia send their celebrated ELECrRoNoLTAIC BELT
and other ELECTRIC APPLIANcEs on trial for thirty
day, To men told or Soung) afflicted with nervous
debility. loss of vitality and manhood, and all
kindred troubles Also Tor rheumatism, neural
giu, paralysis, and many other kindred diseases.
Complete restoration to health, Nigor and man
hood guaranteed. No risk Il incurred as thirty
days trial Is allowed Write them ut once for
illustrated pamphst free. dec31 lydSw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
Not A nit Proud.

MOI u III FfOUN.
From the Columbia spy.
Tho daily newspapers of Lancaster city are
not only keeping up with the times but are
leading wherej others are afraid TO follow.
Tho INTELLrGESCER turned itself inside
out and put on new dress, but II isn't bit
proud. 1t just keeps right along giving all
The news, politics included. just as II did in
its old clothes, only little better. 1t IN an
honest paper,and barring its extreme political
views, II has our hest wishes for success.
II is the central, and probably the
most influential Democratic organ IN the
state
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

Fn,zicrs Root Bittcr- are not q drim shop
beverage. but are strictly medicinal In every
sense. They act strongly upon the Liver and
Kidneys, keep the bowels open and regular,
cleanse the blood and system of every impurity.
sold by druggists, 81. Sold by ii. H. Cochran,
l37 and l39 North Queen street. 90
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
SPECIAL NOTICES.


Ladies should wear afiop Plaster over the
small Of the back ~ II cures all pains and ai hes
- cents, Ut any drug store. All ready to Apply.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

In this life must have a speciality that is must
concentrate the abilities of body and mind ON
some one pursuit. Rurdock BLOOD Rinsrs have
their specialtya- ~ complete and fndch cure OF
dyspepsia, and liver and kidney affections. For
sale by H. B Cochran, druggist, l51 and lJ9 North
Oncnn aIraat.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

~ sometimes wish l could take hold OF the
sale of Thomas Ecfscfrie OF for tell you II is u
grand thing and am conscientious IN saying ]
could do good work" Rev. 4. =. Crane Cory.
Pa. Eclectrie OH cured this gentleman of quinsy
OF many years standing. For sale by III. u. Coch-
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
oROUGuON ITCu.'
DIR. FRNZIER,s ROOT BITTERs

Rough on Itch " cures humors, eruptions,
ring worm, letter, salt rhcurn, frosted feet chill
bintns. kj)
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
PRETTY WOMEN.
Truth Crushed TO Earth

Ladies who would retain freshness and vivac
ity, Don't fail To try Wells Health Remover"
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
CHRISTMAS
HOLIDAY INVITATION, 1884.

fsayng lcuto
snnm 5toHa
Go
NICKEL AND WATCHES
lt est
n RAJ to
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
PILES PILES IipILEs

sure cure for Blind, Bleeding and Itching Piles
one box has cured the worst cases OF 20 years
standing. No one need suffer five minutes after
using Williams Indian Pile Ointment. 1t ab-
serbs tumors, allays itching, acts poutice,
gives instant relief. Prepared only for Piles,
itching of the private parts, nothing else. sold
by druggists and mailed ON receipt of price, 81.
Sold by II. Is. Cochran l5I and l39 North Queen
street u)
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

The Marietta Accommodation leaves Colum-
bia at $40 and reaches Marietta at 6:55. Also,
leaves Columbia at ll45 a.. m. and 2.l5 y. m.s
reaching Marietta at l2:H and 2:35 Leaves Mar
ietfa at go p. and arrives at Columbia at 3Q9
also, leaves at S:Sj and arrives at s:45 81 3
The York Accommodation leaves Marietta at
7:l0 and arrives at Lancaster at 500, connecting
with Harrisburg Express at $40.
The Frederick Accommodation, west, connect
ing ut Lancaster with Fast Line, west, at 1:S5 p.
m, will run through to Frederick.
The Frederick Accommodation, east, leaves
y. m.
Hanover Accommodation west, connecting at
Lancaster with Niagun, Express at $50 a. III. will
run through to Hanover, daily. except sunday:
Fast Line, west, on Sunday, when Tagged Will
stop at Downingtown, Coatesville. Parkesburg,
MI Joy, Elizabethtown and Middletown.
Z The only trains which run daily. On Sunday
the Mail tr,liii west sps by way OF Columbia
Leave daily except Monday.
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

When the proprictors of Burtfock Bio0d BH-
tErs put this renow ned medicine on the market
they hit II exactly They hit dyspepsia, indiges.
ton, and liver aud kidney complaints hard
blow, from which they viii never recover. For
Queen street.
FoR Coughs, make a timely usc of lialo's
Honey of norchound and Tar. pixies Toothache
Drops cure In one minute. dsLiwdeodSw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
ROUGu on TOOTIAcHF.
HRowN's norsEnoLp rANAcEA.

instant relief for Neuralgia, ToothHche Face,
,chc. Ask for Rough on Toothnche." l5c. and
,,u
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
MAS, DIR. wALToN's PERIODICAL TEA.

Mother walton has prescribed this valuable
medicine for great many years IN her private
practice. u has proved an untailing specific In
the treatment of the many disorders 60 which
the female constitution IL subject IL + n sure
cure fOr the monthly troubles that so many
women sutier. Mailed ON receipt Of price, soc
sold by II d. Cochun, l37 and i59 North Queen
street t3)
CoLpEN's Liquid Beef Tonic Is endorsed by
phy ysicitns .isk f0T Coideps. take no othcr.
III druggists. ds9lwdCodSw
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
DENNsYLvANIA RAILROAD sCHED-

Trains leave Lancaster and leave and arrive at
4 Philadelphia as follows:
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29
LIFE PREsERyER

II you are losing your grip ON life try " Wells
Health Rencwcr." Goes direct To weak spots.
t3l
Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1884-12-29

II AScsAsTER AND MII.i4ERsviLln
= g Cars leave Iencassss lcs nAlsmvnls q ~
s'p and ie'@ a. m. and i:oo son $40 and IN p q