The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-08-07

sTHrs is fun" ironically yelled an
angry man who sat on tack. n
was more likely satire. - Breakfdst
Table.
THE girls in Brittany are not allowed
10 sell their hair. In this country the
girls don't have to. as it's sell Itself.
la trlOo OJsercer.
The hog may not be thoroughly
posted in arithmetic, but when you
come down to square root, he is there
every time.-Chicago sun.
GIRLS shout mt whistle. IL reveals
to the young men that they have wind
enough to mako excellent scolds.-
PHILADELPHIA Chronic Herald.
A VERMONT editor, in publishing one
of Byron's poems, changed the words
20 gods!" to % goshl" because the
former was too profane for hls readers
MARY ELLEN CHASE says "there will
be three women t. one man In heaven"
every three that will be almighty lone
some.
USED you pretty rough, didnt hep
remarked sympathizlng by lander to
the man who had Iust got on awful
licking. We'll, no." replied to sub
dued one, Il thought he polished me
on very nicely. "-Burde.t 10.
@ALoNzo, dear, do you believe in
ghosts?" she asked, dreamiy. mo,
darling, do not, he replied. well,
AlonZo, that ghosts to show you are not
superst .tious." Then they foil into q
sweet, calm sleep. carl Prezevs
Weekly.
"WHY do they always paint angels an
blondes?" asked Mrs. Arank OF her
husband, a they stood looking at a
picture in the art gallery. BE ause,"
answered Mr.. X, looking at his wile's
hair, artists wives are morally bru-
nettes." There is frigldity liz the at
mosphere about the krank mansion
now -Pecks san.
A WHITE sluall caught party Of
tourists moving across lake In Scot
land, and threatened to On SIZE the
boat. When it seemed that the crisis
was come, the largest and physically
strongest of the party, in state of in
tense fear, said: Let us pray" No,
no, nv man," shouted tue bluff old
boatman;. "let that Little man pray;
you take an oar"
ID you arrest that fellow put you
on tor asked grocerykeeper of
policeman. Eyes, and tie Judge
n lied him. "Was he found guilty y
"Yes." What did he do.' Paid tire
penalty, of course" What was its'
"Workhouse for thirty days" -We1l,
it's good thing it WASH I a grocery bill
or he would have hung before he paid
it. / know the snoozer. Merchant
TraUeler.
MABEL-"Do you try to observe the
golden rule, Mr.. Nicefellsws" Nice
fellow - Yes, indeed. Do your"
Mabel--"Yes; always try to do as /
would be done by" Nicefellow-"That
is the right spirit" Mabel-"But l
sometimes fail. If l W re- to try 1
should fab now" Nlcefellow - IN
deed. Why?" Mabel ana not tab
enough to reach" No cards.
"Now, brudders an sistahs, / will
now take up collection fur de preach
err" said the colored minister to his
congregation, AN L spec fully advise
you ter not put no buttons in de coun-
terbution hat, as is goiu' roun' myself,
an will take list of de button mem
bahs of dis congregation an make dem
lie sub .ec' Oh my sermon de naix meet
in. Close dat doah ia. "-Kentucky
State Journal
MORMON papers are trying to prove
that the Book of Mormon is true by
publishing atiidavits. They will have
to get affidavits outside of Mormondom
ii they want to make an appearance Of
truth, for that commod ty is not in their
society. If they co Id only get tho
Angel Gabriel to do little swear ng
for them there wo Id be sone hope.
Maybe the gentleman in bla k has al
ready affixed his autograph to zone of
them there happy davids. - PecRs
Sun.
FOR MANS DELUsIoN GIVEN.
Thos, Urls are all wicked show,
Tor mans fusion given.
The niles OF joy m tea y o. woo
DaceiGiul shine, deceitfu tow,
Not orc is true in seven.
They We you for n little WHILE
And tell YOU u hJ shall sundr
Two LOVING h "a is; then ull o. gulo,
Ba I OF els with Their wit hi e smle.
And you may 60 to thunuer.
-ChtcdgO sun.