The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1884-03-15
Not a Match for the Dude.

"Talk about yer doods," said q
Texas stockman on the Chicago, B If
lington & Quincy train the other day
but q little the doodest dood I ever
seen wuz a fellow that come down
from Boston into our kentry year
ago las September
"He didn't stay in Texas long, /
guesa," said little man in a silk hat.
"Yas, he's there now"
Il thought they wouldn't let
dude live in Texas"
"Waal. I'll tell you how 1t was We
let him stay: He came down there
with his peeked boots an his tight
trousers am yaller kid gloves, an a
| slingin' more style than new Con.
gres.man on the fo'th OF July, an q
tellin' folks tibet bis doctor said he'd
cot the consumption an ID have to
| live in warm climate"
"Ah, yes, of course you pltied the
poor fellow and let him stay on that
account"
"Not exactly that; but as wuz
| sayin', he swung his style like a
Mormon walkin' hv a United States
marshals Office. Waal, one night he
came iuto saloon where lot Of us
wuz drinkin'. an he st Fps up to the
ba' an says; 'Aw-I say, bah tendah
give me a trifle ofaw VAIN lemonade.
Bill Jackson snorted right out, an
then say+ he: Boys, what dye say?
les make the dood drink GIN .Aw,
but it's VAIN lemonade desiah,'
says the dood. WAL says Bill,
warm lemonade don't go in these
parts, you drinks gin or you drinks
nuthin', you hear me- 'It-aw-
seems to me you're Mistaken says
the dOOd, 'ithout seemin' to see there
wuz trouble ahead; 4 want to-aw-
dwinK VAIN Iemonade,' an' he rech
out for the glass. Bill wuuk at the
rest on US, an says he to the dood;
dye know what I'm a goin' to do ef
We tries to drink anything but gimp
'WealIy, my deah hoy, l do not
'Waal,' lays Bill, I'm goin' ter
stand yer on yer head In that air box
D sawdust.' 'Aw-that would not
be wight says the dood, a tippin' up
his glass to drink. Bill rech out an
grabbed i'm by the neck, an I never
seen a man git licked SO quick -
"Bill was too much for him, was
he?"
NO stree, 1t wuz t'other way. It
wuz Bill that got licked. Jerusalem
an Gin'ral Jackson, but how that
dood did jump about! And every
time he jumped he fetched Bill one
on the eye or under the ear or along
the jaw. an Bill couldn't git within
gunshot Nv i'm. Why, that air dood
ded more tricks for fightin' than Bill
ever dreamp, Nv. Fur-t he'd b. be-
hind Bill, an then under i'm, an
then on top of i'm, an every time
Bill opened an eye the do I'd stuck a
fist in 1t t-erry fist, it didn't make no
difference to him. He wuz just about
ez handy with his thumpers ez any
man need to be in this world. It
90 all around Bill an over i'm an
through lin in the bargain; an then
when he had Bill pretty we'll licked
he took him the alf1redest crack on
the nose an sent i'm over in the cor
ner behind the ice box like 4 bundle
Of cid cIo'es."
'What did he do them"
"Why, lie jest turned around an
brushed the sawdust of his knees
where he'd ducked down to come up
under Bill, an says he, ''Gentlemen,
will you all join me-aw-in VAIN
Iemonade?' AM We jined i'm too
quick"
"Yes. he's there yet; an Iguess he
can stay unless the consumption gets
away with i'm. There haint nothing
else down there thet kin do 1t. that's
sure" Ex
For RA6t.
Furnished roomsinahrfck house on
Washington street, One up.stairs
and one below sti)e4. For further