The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1877-1885, 1884-02-13
For the +. & NJ. Household.
Bad Policy, Young Ladies


We sat together, four cousins, an,
spoke Of the beauty Of some other cou
sins, of whom one of us knew NOR
than the rest.
Of one We said, ''she is very pretty
lovely indeed.' Yes said the wise
one, when she is dressed; she is al
most ugly.real plain-at home" ''Hov
so:" "Why, she goes SO badly gotter
up. She skews her hair up in a lttl,
hard knot, and wears old ugly calico
dresses, and no cravat, and white string:
in rusty shoes half the time.'' ''Shock
ing! how untidy!'' Yes, that's wha
the matter exactly, and it is odd too, fol
a little more pains would show almos
her real prettiness.'
Then / began to reflect, and some
how it all struck me as very unfair; in
this way-a pretty girl daintily attired
the pink of neatness from bangs to heel
sets out for inspection and conquest
she conquers-the victim visits her al
| home and finds the same dainty refine
ment and neatness characterIzing hel
| whenever he sees her. He possibly
don't think about it in detail, because
| the harmonious whole suits him so per-
fectly that he could only estimate it by
the reverse. But when he marries her,
and the novelty wears off with her,
what then? Why, then comes into
play the habitual untidiness with this
difference that there is hus sband to
dsenchant by it. And that ought to be
a risk no sensible woman for her own
sake would ever run.
Tho lovar,S iS in no whit obo
ed because he is hus usbapd-indeed,
there is a certain amount of disenchant-
ment inseparable from the intimacy of
married life, and wise woman, for her
own sake would take extra pains to
please and delight the eyes that see her
daily, and in so seeing thro' habitude
grow dull to some of her charms. But
the untidy girl is the untidy wife, and
the husband gets disenchanted, disap-
pointed, and naturally lose his love-like
ardor, and then my lady feels the
change, and thinks bitterly men are all
alike feeble and inconstant, and hus-
bands and lovers are different articles,
and never one reflects that sweethearts
and wives are different also. / say it is
not fair on the man; he married pret-
ty, tidy becomingly dressed woman
that's what he fell in love with, and
therefore presumably was his style of
woman. Ii she turns out slattenly and
untidy, then he was swlndled, that was
not the woman he married, and was in
love with, and the reaction is natural on
his part. A woman, [ mean the average
woman, once married has her happiness
indissolubly bound up in her husbands
love. He can get on well enough with
out being specially fond of his wife, for
he has other interests and occupations,
but she living at home, and presumably
with no especial interests outside of it,
what is her chance of happiness if her
husband does not love her? And dis
enchantment is followed by disregard.
Y GU have 30 right to say it is hard on
her. it is a thing she could help. 1t is
hard on the husband for he can't help
it. he can't re-make his wife, into the
woman he loved. and the sort of untidi-
ness and discomfort that l have seen
some women deliberately choose would
have made me walk out of the house
and stay out of it, had they been wives
of mine.
Just try the experiment, young ladies,
of habitual inhexible neatness and per-
sOnal cleanliness, plenty OF soap and
water and perfumed toilet powder, and
plenty of clean raiment. 1t needn't be
one bit fine, but it must be neat and be-
coming-clothes all mended, no buttons
missing on boots. rooms and drawers
always in order-and Ill warrant you
will find your usband your lover long
after the first year of welded life has
been counted, and if you are not as neat
and tidy as wives as you were as sweet
hearts, then 1 say you deceived him,
YOU married him under false colors, you
are not what he fell in love with, and
so have no right to complain if he feels
towards you as if you were different
woman, and not specially agreeable
one. either. Venus herself could not
afford to go around slip shod and un-
tidy.
L make the point for your own sakes.
An unloved wife is one of the most mis-
erable of Gods creatures, and therefore
it behooves all married women for their
own happiness sake to keep their hus-
bands in love with them, and to hold
their love the wife must be just as at
tractive and dainty and charming as the
sweetheart was. She can't afford to go
at loose ends-for the loss will all be
hers-and it is a loss that no wife can
bear! at least so thinks l.. B.