West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-12-05
THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
Sense and Nensensc from the EIoqucu
and Eruditc Brother Gardner.

Sense and Ncnsensc from the Eloquent
and Eruditc brother Gardner.
Brother Gardner announced the fol.
lowing new legends to be hung on the
walls during the fall and winter term:
"A bigot am mo- to be fecrcd dan a
fule."
"Gou kin silence man by knockin'
him down, but it takes argument to con
vince him,
Human natur' kin sometimes be de
pended ON obcr night, but it's dc safest
way To take "A note of hand fur it,
"a mans rating am not how much
he can run in debt. but how nigh he kin
squar' up cbcry Saturday night
Industry am Sartin To bring plenty
an economy ncbcr goes b'arfut in win
ter. y
Between sayin' muffin an talkin'
too much dc world leans to de man who
holds his tongue
"Our opinion of ourselves makes us
all great men
Il would announce dc fack. -" contin-
ucd the President "dat de- Hon. Sham
boo Smith of Kentucky, has appealed to
dis club fur funds to start him out on de
road To lecktur' ON dc Suhuck of Do
We Fulfill Our Missions While he am
not member of dis club hc seems To be
a puSSon wild deSiah Ia aid i'm de pro-
grcSS of dc world, an we will take ttp IA
culleckshun fur his benefit Sir Isaac
Walpolc, will you pass de- hate"
The hat was passed and the collcc-
ton made and turned over To the Prcsi-
dent, who counted up the change and
said
de sum total iiggcrs up nineteen
cents, includiu' "A dime wild hole i'm it.
DE money will be for ardcd To de Hon
Shamboo, an hc can start as soon as he
plcascs.
The Secretary announced "A communi-
cation from Mansfield. Mass, Offering a
new variety of sunllowcr seeds To NOM
bcrs of the club at special rates. and in
vting a cash offer from the museum for
the skulls of several celebrated murder
ers.
"lzc afraid we can't trade wild him. "
replied the President after brief con
sultation with the Committee on Agri-
culture. "Dis club doan' run to sun
flowers WORT "A cent, an our line of rel
les doan' incloolc any skull lower i'm de
scale of society dan member of dc
Legislachur.
Givcadam Jones here arose TO make
an inquiry, and when his presence had
been officially recognized he asked if
the club believed in the doctrine of the
survival of the iittcst. Brother Gardner
scratched his head and seemed to be
considerably perpleNod, and Giyeadam
continued:
I'm case we doan' it am an ac-
acknowledgement that the imbccile an thc
idler hcy dc same rights an privileges
as dc statesman an de representative of
industry. In case wc do, we who hey
survived am consequently de- littcst, an
darfore good 'nufl should like II
squar' decisun in de case tonight
" Bruddcr Jones, who put YOU up to
dis busincss?' asked the President. i'm II
voice full of solemn warning
There was an interval of silence so
deep and painful that Elder Toots could
be heard breathing a. he pared down
his corn with "A borrowed iack-knifc
reckon ] sort o put myself up TO
1t, sah,' came the answer at last
Well, you sot down to once, On
all proper occashuns iii, club stands
ready to elucidate It's doctrines an give
IFS reasons, but dis am no, one Of dc oc-
cashuns. While de- fttc,l ortcr an may
survive, doan' llatler ycr,clf dat bckase
ye hey outlivcd heap Of oddcr folks
dat YOU am any better dan you Ortcr
be, or dat your testimony i'm q case Of
sault an battery would pass unqucs-
toned cbcn by onc-hOss LAWYER. 49,
DCtTOU Free Press