Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-26
BRIGHT BITS.

\ NEW ORK clergyman speaks Of rallies at
church fairs as 1.-THE devils kIndling wood
His satanic majesty should not want for fuel.
Boston Trtnscript.
\ WHLIANsPoRT YOUTH sen. 50 cents to 4
New DIRK firm to learn how TO keep from
swearing. and received in reply: Don't open
your mouth" lie has sworn ever since
Waiidmsp0rt Grit.
IT j. said that every human being is accom-
panied through life bv a good and a bad angel.
vs. no strive for mastery over him. How lazy
some persons good angels seem to be.-Bloom-
Feid tN. H. Citi=ea.
''IsEE Miss Fussanfeather has put on mourn
ing y Is; it is quite fashionable now,
believe" "Oh. yes; but l think great deal
81 the mourning nowadays Is affected.
" ! es, / think myself there Is "A good deal OF ii
put ''-Y0nkers Gazette.
4 LADY stepped into the sanctum this morn
ing and said sWeetly: "Nlll yOu be kind
enough 10 let me lock at the Christian IT
Work The horse editor blushcd a little,
but had the presence Of mind TO say: Ger
iainly. madam; what can l do for Y0u:'-
PhikIdeLDtiH CAL.
To show the yinegary effect Of religion upon
some people. an exchange relates thls anec-
dote: Dear. said a rellgO- shreWlsh wife to
TO her husband, ''isn't it time our daughter
Amanda should join the church-she's got 10
be r0Wn-up woman "Heavens. no."
said the.husband; Fit is all we can 10 to get
along now with your religion. Ii we had
two such Christians in the house it would be
impossible to live in lt."-Boston Glote.
Two young ladies of literary tastes in Cliff
ton were discussing their reading. when one
Of them remarked; Il have been engaged
with delightful work FOR week past
Indeed, what was it," "'AnthOny Troll
lopez Autobiography " "Who is the authors"
ideally, don't know. / have looked over the
Utie-page and through the preface but /
can't find any reference TO the author at all.
Whoever it j. is a charming writer. and seems
10 have known the novelist very Intimately"
SAID the Deadwood man: ssThat's a per-
feet gentieman-one of the most perfect gen
uemen IN the camp "lndeed!' said the
surprised stranger. "YOu bet he Is! Why.
the other night over at Jack Bowie's game
he killed q man for something or other, and
the next day he paid the uudertakers bin out
OF his own pocket and sent the widow a bar
rel OF flour. Its true he made a big winning.
and all that; but how many men 10 you meet
nowadays with a great big heart like that.
He's perfect gentleman, sir
THERE was a warm discussion IN a parish
meetinsof the seventy first Church the OF her
evening. 1t was shown that something must
be done at once IN the way Of economy and
various suggestions were made toward the
curtalment Of expenses. One brother thought
the paid choir should be given up, another
suggested that the sunday school picnic. the
young peoples dance and the older peoples
monthly rattle could be dispensed with: but
IL was finally decided TO reduce the minister's
salary. IL would never DO to interfere with
the necessities Of WOrship.-Bost0n Trans
criDt.
/" EDITOR; well, sir, what can DO for vOu:"
stranger: Il want to find a place for my boy
He is a line accountant, and hear YOU need
bOOkkeeper.' Editor: ~ es. | want some one
at a small salary to keep my books, collect
bills and look after the safe when | am out"
stranger: HE can do all that. He is the best
bOokkeeper in the state" Editor: lis he
thoroughly reliable:' Stranger: "Well. the
fact is he is a kleptomaniac, He has been
In the penitentiary a great many times for
taking money ont Of safes, but beyond that he
is all right. and that is why 1 want TO get him
a place with YOU" Editor: "With me, eh:'
stranger: "Yes. where he Will be ont of Temp
tatl0D. '-Phladelphta can.
LOGAN'S LAMENT
We never speak as we pass by
Me to Jim Blaine nor him TO L:
TwiXt us there floats a cloud Of gloom
Since have found he's got boom.
We never speak as we pass by.
We simply nod and drop our eye,
Yet ! can tell by his strange look
The reason why he writ that book.
We never speak as we pass by;
No more we're bound by friendly tie,
The cause of this is very plain
Hes not for me; he's for Jim Blaine.
Chicago Nelrs.