Morris tribune., 1884-12-31
ONE VISIT-ONE ONLY!

X,
splendid opening for q first lesson in
the manly art, we resolved not to let
the opportunity pass for finishing an
otherwise brilliant education. With
this end in view, we procured COM
plimentary admission ticket, and with
vigorous strides proceeded to Phoenix
Hall, where already large number
of hale and hearty young men were
assembled. We had never h..d en-
perlence with boxing gloves, but AFTER
watching the sparring for few
minutes we became very anxious to
get into II pair of them and show
some of those great husky fellows
what life with gloves meant.
According to directions, We care
fully adjusted Il pair of fine hard
gloves, and with something like an
Indian war-whoop, jumped into the
ring. Right at this point allow us to
remark that we We're greatly surprised
at the readiness with which two
hundred and twenty-five FOUNDER
stepped out before us for first en-
counter. We had supposed that the
,ight of our manly form would strike
terror into the hearts of all assembled,
instanter. But, alas! as we looked
him over our courage began to wane.
We began to wish that our gloves
of
Our dignity, however, forbade an ex-
preston of our feelings.
We began swinging those gloves
very cautiously. Finally our oppor-
tunity came and we made strike for
victory; but just as we were about to
give him one straight from the right
shoulder upon his off eye, we think
we ran against something-at least
our perpendicularity was suddenly re-
versed, and we found ourself standing
on our head just north of the wood
box, out in the auditorium.
Of course we saw that we were
whitewashed OH that heat. We felt
worse than we did, once upon a time,
when our nose collided with the cor
ner of the cupboard as we were MAX
ing IL grand rush, through the dark
for the front door of the kitchen to
break up a feline cat concert in the
woodshed, with the boot-jack. We
had a notion to quit; but the grin that
overspread the countenances of the
by-standers made us a little mad, and
we made grand march for the ring.
In this second round the impetuosi-
ty of our yigorousness was somewhat
increased. and had it not been for
slight mistake on our part, we would
have been more successful. After
making Il few lunges, keeping our
arms flying like the arms of a wind
mill to surely ward off all possible
blows of our antagonist, we caught
sight of our opponents face through
the spokes-at least we could have
taken our oath on stack of the files
of the Olive branch, as high as the
round elevator, that it was our oppon-
ent's face we saw-but after having
interviewed it we can swear that it
was our own face we saw, and that we
hit ourself an awful blow-in fact, we
did so swear at the time; our testi-
mony is very emphatic in regard to
whose face was hit. We saw stars
little stars, big stars, all sorts of stars.
1t seemed to us greater pyrotechnic
display than anything thought or
even dreamed of since Morris Demo-
Gratis ratified last November We
must have hit ourself very promiscu-
ously, for our tongue was bitten nearly
off, our teeth were loose, our nose tele-
scoped, and it seemed to us that the
top of our head had gone up in a
balloon.
We ow made up our mind definite
ly to quit, and would have done so
had we not caught sight of our oppon-
ent reclining as leisurely against the
back of a chair as though nothing had
happened. This made us mad. Had
he shown little agitation, we could
have endured it. But this was too
much5 The more we thought of it,
the madden we got-and when we get
mad, look out. The manner in which
we got back into the ring was terrific.
We struck out from both shoulders at
once, at that great over-grown thump-
er, but just as we expected to see him
nature of this accident we are not able
to give. Suddenly it seemed that we
were SUSPENDED in SPACE. while the