Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-07-03

eos Himself to the Front, and Make
tho speech Himself.
Confederit X Roads }
(Which is in the State NV Kentucky :
JOon ~ 1884.
CONSIDERED 1t necessary to call a meet
ing of the Dimocrisy together last mite
to the eend NV cOncertin methods NV
cOnductin the next campans. Inez-
much OF the salvashen NV the Corners,
rs we'll ez the kentry, depends upon the
defect NV Blaine, concluded to act upon
the principle that eternel vigilence is
the price Nv liberty. In the interest NV
reform and pure Government. we must
defect Blanc, and to defect Blame we
must kerry Injeanny, and to kerry In
jeanny determined to git ready the
men we shall send from Kentucky into
Injeanny to vote, and have 'em In readi-
Miss to 60, ez soon eZ we know that the
price per he'd hes been put up in hard
cash. We are patriots but we alluz
want to know first, whether our candi-
date hez q bari, and second whether he
is going to put it on tap.
Therefore l called meetin that /
mite set the ball q rOllin and cOmmenst
to address it myself. I opened elOkent-
" eZ follows
Fellow CITIZENSHIP begin with shell
hev to explane-
That wuz all NV that speech witch
ever delivered. That audashus wretch,
Joe Biglsr, forced his way thre the
thrOng, and ascending to the pulpit re-
kested me to set down, witch did When
he requests / alluz do.
"Feller citizens" says Josef, "the
word explain witch our subsidized friend
yoOsed, reminds me NV an anecdOte.
There was a man witch he'd wife, and
the wife went away from home to visit
her mother to be gone some two weeks.
She he'd jist get to the depot to take the
the trane when she remembered suthin
witch made it nessary for her to return
immejitly to her peaceful home. She
entered the front door and diskivered
her husband on the stares kissin her
servent gal. This was twenty yeers ago
The gentleman wich was narratin the
effsctin incident to his friends
recently, and he remarked: And j-j-j-ist
t-t-t-think Nv t-t-the O-n-r-r-reasOnb-b-b-
len-e.e.ss NV w-w-w-O-men. 1t t-t-tOOk
me f-f.fifteeR yeers to explain that"
"Ny friends, DimOcrisy hez very
similer experience. Originally he wuz
welded to the Goddis NV Liberty, and a
very pr0misin couple they wuZ. But in
CalhOOn's time the Goddess caught him
kissin the old harlOt Seceshn, and he
hez bin 30 odd years cxplanin that.
"Scasely wuZ that fixed up when he
went gallivantin off after Slavery, the
elder sister Nv Seceshn. and made war
upon Mexico at her biddin. Ho hez
bin over 30 years explanin that"
Onct more leavin his lawful bride, he
took an excursion int Kansas" and
WIZ ksp nifty busy for several years ex-
planin that.
"Then Slavery and Secashn jlned
hands in 1861 and attempted to murder
his spouse, and he fOllerd 'en blindly,
giving 'em all the help he could. He
hez bin explaining that for about "a
yeers.
"From 1866 to 1878 he made a vigsrus
effort to save the life Nv both the old
hays, and he hez he'd his hands full ever
since to explane that.
"Forgettin his marital vows he after
wards assaulted his wife's first cousin,
the Nashnel Credit, and insisted upon
flat money and KILN off speShy payment
and he hez been explaining that ever
sence.
"And jist now he off ON an expedition
with Free Trade and he'll worry yer
souls out NV 700 for the next ten yaers
trying to explane that.
"He prosecuted every unjust war we
hev ever waged, and opposed the only
lust one we hev ever he'd, and he hez bin
explamin bOtn Nv EN- ever sence.
HE rushed off.intO repOodiashen Nv
honest debt and he heZ bin explanin
that ever sence.
HE h0wled for speshy. when we ought
to hsv good paper mummy and hOwled for
rag mummy when we ought to hev moth
i'm but speshy or Its equivalent, and he's
bin explainin that ever sense.
I'm brsef the fust thing Dimekratic
speaker alluz does when he commences
his speech is to explain, and that okke-
pies him till he closes.
my friends there don't happen to be
q single thing that DimOsrisy hsz at
tempted to do that he heZn't bin com.
PEELED to explane. He hez managed
with skill wleh Is troOly wonderful,
to git on the wrong side Of every qUes-
tiOn that hez bin afore the Amerikin
people ever since he wuz born. Ef
there's a sin witch he hezn't takOn to
his buzm and fur wish he's now explain
In, don't happen to remember it, If
theirs a heresy he hezn't sided with, an
error witch he hezn't embraced, a wrong
WITCH he hezn't championed, and a piece
of id foOlishness witch he hezn't en-
dOrsed, 1 hev forgotten it,"
"Othsr parties sometimes make mis-
takss--the Dimocrisy hez q week.-mrs. for
crime. 1t perpetooally wants to COM
init murder without any reason for it.
1t wuz the one party that never wuz rite
One wood suppose 1t mite occasionally
blunder into doin the proper thing, but
II doesn't. 1t hez the whiskey infOOen-
GO at its back, and 1t wood court NOR
monism Of Utah he'd q electoral vote.
Their amt any sin witch it doesn't take
@o NTH q raIieh nono uioh ito odhar