Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-08-18

| Mr.. Evart's retort to those who criti-
else long sentences-Only the criminal
classes object to long sentences.
| A writer says that love makes young
| people frank and honest with each other.
Well, it ought to. They always meet
face to face. r1 a# s
Psychologists are agreed that the ha-
ha laugh indicates cultured mind, the
he-he laugh shallow mind and ho-ho-
| ho-ho laugh gross mind.
Queen Victoria cables congratulations.
President Arthur returns thanks. The
| Queen is widow; the president is a
widower, and this is leap-year.
One lead pencil, according to con-
temporary, lasts Georgia editor three
years, but he has to have new riyet put
into his shears every three weeks.
'Siam is the place where there are nei-
ther Jews nor swine," said a person to a
| Rothchild once. ''Indeed,' was the re-
| ply, ''lets go and exhibit ourselves
there
'sPapa," said lad the other night, af-
ter attentively studying for some min
utes an engraving of human skeleton,
show did this man manage to keep in his
dinner.
| "You are little goose!" remarked a
| young M. D., playfully to the girl he was
| engaged to marry. ''Of course / am -
was the laughing response. ''Havn't !
got quack?"
In some respects q mouse is far superb
| or to man. A mouse could make a wo-
man rustic around and climb on table
| and squeal while man couldn't make
her bulge an inch.
| 'Tis now the time when the lovely
maiden at the seaside limps about with a
pair Of number one shoes on number
three feet and tells how she cut her foot
on horrid shell while bathing.
| During recent severe thunder storm
the dwelling of q man in Chemug county,
| N. Y, was three times struck by light
ming. 1t was afterwards ascertained that
he was harboring book agent during the
storm. hof 3a #9ta aaiati AfHte
The cruelty of woman's criticism some
times goes beyond life. "Did you ever
see more natural corpse than Mrs Pod
son?" asked lady OF a friend. ssSuch a
| contented smile" "Contented smile l''
exclaimed the friend. ssIt was all put
| on
Life is so sweet, I care not now to
co." sings Lila Cushman. Correct Lila.
Take off your hat and gloves, and stop a
spell. Tea will be ready presently and
| at dusk we will drive down the boulevard
and drink deep the beautiful draughts OF
| natures vesper aspirations.
"How will my love come back to me?'
asks poetess. Well, it is mighty hard
question to answer in these trying times
of presidential campaign. He may come
back all right; and then again he may
not. You stand a good chance to win
either way you bet.
care you sick?" asked the old physi-
clan OF his eldest son, who appeared dis
| pirited and ill at ease. ssNot exactly
said the young man; s'only an eastern
house has drawn on me unexpectedly for
| $780, 'sHow often have I cautioned
you," said the angry father, mot to ex-
| pose yourself to draft!"
Feeble urchin: 81 say, ma, my head
aches. I'm going to stay home from
school this afternoon" Solicitous ma
ternal ancestor: "Well, my dear, I'm
sorry. Stay at home and rest. 1t may
do you good" Three hours later feeble
urchin rushed into the honse with .cheeks
aglow 81 tell you we had nifty game.
Eighteen to fifteen. 1 played short.
Gimme suthin. t'eat.''