Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-12-31
PLEASANTRIES.


remember his name. "When she speaks
to me-" he says, "she always calls me
Silence"
YOUNG ladies who wish. to have small
mouths are repeating the following
words before choir practice: Fanny
Finch fried foundering frogs for Fran
CHS Fowlers father"
"WHAT wonderful age of invention
it isl said Mrs. Smith. "I see they are
now making wire cloth, and I'll have
some this very week to put knees in
Johnny's Sunday pants.
80, DEAR, nop exclaimed Mrs. Silver
dollar, eve were obliged to remain home
this year. / did so long TO see dear
think Of it while the epidermis lasted
Boston Transcript.
81 WANT to look at some pedal cover
erings," said Boston girl entering a
shoe-store. "Some what?" asked the
dealer. pedal coverings" "We don't
keep anything but shoes, mum. P'ra'ps
you can find what you want at the drug
store on the corner Detroit Post.
at HAVE got to have column more of
editorial matter" said the foreman of a
country weekly to the editor, "and I've
got to have it quick" ''And / haven't
an idea in my head, " groaned the editor.
"Just put in last weeks editorial Oh the
tariff and mark it 'Republished by re-
quest. y New York Sun.
SMITH met Jones on the deck Of an
ocean steamer one calm morning after
several days of very rough weather:
"Why, I declare, JONES'" said Smith,
"you look years older than when I last
saw you!" "No WONDER" answered
Jones, "Pve had several birthdays lately"
A HAcKENsAcK girl.h brought suit
against young man for swallowing her
false teeth while kissing her, says the
New York Journal. We should like to
get acquainted with the Hackensack
kiss. 1t must be a way deep-down, soul
satisfying, deliriously- Lingering, yum
yum-sort of an article Detroit Times.
II WISH [ was an OWL" said theyoung
lawyer, as he gently felt the dimensions
of her alligator belt. "Why?" she asked.
Because them l could stay up all
night, you know, deaS," he replied.
"What would you want to do such RI
dicuIous thing as that for?" she Uttered.
"To wit: To wool Pittsburg Chron-
icle-Ielegraph.
WHEN an editor of a weekly literary
paper allows himself, in an unguarded
moment, TO be persuaded to go ont with
the boys and help impart q carmine tint
to the town, and has such an exaggerated
head next morning that he is unable to
grind out his usual three columns of
original matter, he reprints one of his
old articles "by request"
A YOUNG man walking down Broad
way one evening with pretty and SEN
timental girl on his arm, passed play
bill in front of one of the theaters
Looking at it, he said: Would you
like to see How She Loves Him ?"
mo, thanks she responded with a
blush; Il have seen it for some time"
The next month they were married.
"OFFIoER, what is the charge against
this woman?" asked the police justice.
''That's no woman, your honor. That's
a man dressed in woman's clothes"
Glow do you know?" "Why, I
watched him on the street and he
passed four women with new winter
cloaks on and never once turned to
look at them" ''Seventy-fve and
COSTS Chicago News.
WHEN Earrie Brodt was little fell
low he was one time engaged in making
pin-eusnion. He likewise fell down
stairs and hurt himself badly. After
he cot SO he could make himself intel
ligible through his sobs, he said: go,
mamma, wish I was two persons, so I
could cry and work On my pin cushion"
He did not feel as though either should
be neglected. Harper's Bazaar.
SARDoU hired house in the country
TO past the last summer, and went in
search of farmer who had a mich COW.
Having found one, he said, "My good
man, my servant will come every morn
ing to buy pint of milk" "All right
it is eight SOUS" "But I want pure
milk-verY pure" I'm that case it is
10 sous" "You will milk in the presence
Of my servant" "Then it is Is SOUS"
81 HAVE concluded not to go to the
play tonight" said Fixton to Mrs. f
81 want to see a friend downtown, and,
besides, you know, it's little damp,
and you might catch cold, dear" Mrs.
F.-"Catch cold! You humbug, your
nrst thoughts are always for yourself.
Fixton-"Yes, dear, and my second are
for you. And second thoughts, you
know, are always best."-[ Boston Tran
script.
81 AN afraid that George is giving too
much of his attention to the classics y
remarked an old lady. "Why do you
think 500" asked the old gentlemen.
because when he was at home the
other day / overheard him tell young
Smith he played base ball great deal,
and that his studies were mostly ali
Greek to him. But am glad the poor
boy plays ball occasionally. ~ New
York Sun.
seYoU don't call on Miss G. now.'
"No, we've quit" "Quit? What's the
diffculty?" 80, her father is too Pc
nurious.' "Too penurious? Why, he