The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-05-29
A s,nxc uf MATHEMATICIAN.

The Grand Duke Louis ~. Of Hesse has
it, and it has come upon him in viruleLt
form. In resembles one OF those compli.
cations Of diseases which bs ttls the med.
ical skill Of two hemispheres. When
Louis, chief engineer OF one OF these little
opera bouffs courts in which Europe
abounds, fell into the royal family Of Eag.
land everything seemed reasonably lovely,
and the Hessian goose was thought to be
hanging high. When his Queen mother
in.law was declared Empress Of India,
Louis hattcred himself that his influence
had not been wasted on her, and he began
to indulge the hope tina. perhaps there
was one case in which something could be
done with mother.in.law.
From, tho Memoirs Of the ex.Grard
Keeper Of the Grand Black Bottle at the
Grand Duko's Court VIC learn that for a
time things went as well as could be ex.
pected under the circumstances. But
gradually Lsuis's delirQuen!s became flag
rant and shameless. He joined more
secret societies to supply him with more
lodge nights, until he had made dates for
seven nights in the week. The lodges held
long and frightening sessions.
When his wife wanted 10 know why
women couldn't be admitted if it wss all
80 good thing, the Grand Duke said 10
the Grand Duchess that che made fatal
error il abe took him for Prince Conscrt.
~" said Louis, with i.alic emphasize, II
am the Boss" This wasmore than British
blood could stand and Alice ragged. Then
Louis began the little trick Of losing his
night key and having to put up for tho
night in a hotel. Very coon alter this
Alice died.
For tho further encouragement Of his
mother.in.law Louis said he would take
the other daughter, Ben.rics. While the
British Parliament delays the passage Of
the bill allowing marriage with deceased
{ wife's sister, the Grand Duke amuses him.
self with morgantic marriage. h1organtic
marriage, it ought to be explained, is a
device Tor relieving High Muckamucks
from the ordinary penalties Of moral trans.
gression. It has never been patented,
though it Is in great favor.
II is this morganatic marriage which has
given the Grand Duke Of Hesse so bad a
# n
case Of mother.in.lsw. Louis tried to ex-
plain that it WAS only pro tenn, SO to speak,
and that the moral atmosphere would DO
cleared as soon IS he got the other dgush.
ter OF the Queen. But the royal and imps-
rial mother.in-law, not 10 be triled with,
ordered dissolution at once. Louis weak
ened. As soon as vile pro TEN heard what
was going on ahe threatened to blow Louie
out OF water with brosd.side Of his lapses.
3 His appeals to his 'mothor-in.law are in
vain. She refuses his prayer to let things
. DRIFT awhile. The other woman in the case
says she will show Louis and the Qaeen
and the whole royal purple outfit wha!
kind OF woman it is that they have trod.
den on. II it were not for hia mother.ir.
law tho Grand Duke Of Hesse could got
along very we'll by early rising and close
attention to business; but the old lady has
tho double twist on him and won't let 20.
This story teaches its own moral: The
man who has Queen for mother-in.lsw
cant have an uninterrup.edly hilarious
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