The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-01-17
aUMOR.
A rAILoR's goose-The dude.
A FRAME of mind-The skull.

"WHAr does lux mean?' asked
Brown. AUX means light replied
Smith. "That's what 1 thought, said
Brown. "But 1 wasn't certain. know
my lucks light, however.
A DIFFERENCE: A friend of mine,
when told of the death of a well-known
stock dealer, replied: "Why, he's worse
off than am. I'm dead broke; but he's
a dead broker"
"WHAT are you laughing at, my dear ."
asked Mrs. Jones of her husband, who
was chuckling over his morning paper.
Something 1 saw here,' he replied,
"but it's hardly funny enough for two"
ONE of the greatest unexplained
physiological mysteries is why a pillow
handle blisters o boys hand IN such
short time, while baseball club never
does. Another is why a boy will walk
seventeen miles in the hot sun hunting
few doves, without becoming exhaust
ed in the least, and yet that same boy
will groan like horse with the collie If
he is asked to fetch glass of water
from an adjoining ROOM Iecds SIT
ings.
A BEAUFORT bachelor so greatly ad-
mired the way'in which his housekeeper
prepared coffee that he proposed and
was accepted, only to ind that the
coffee was made by the hired girl
Teras Sjtings.
THERE is very little difference be-
tween an inmate of penitentiary and
the average husband. The latter is al
ways found out, and the former would
30 L.
DID you ever see woman throw
brick at chicken? 1t is just lots OF
fun-for the chicken. The woman
usually hits herself on the foot, and
gets so mad she can hardly talk straight,
while the chicken holds its head to one
side, clucks softly, AID looks as though
it wondered what under the sun the fuss
all meant any how.-TOOthpick
WIFE-"What are you dong, dear?"
Husband, in reflective attitude
"Thinking." Wife-"Are you thinking
of your little wife, love?" Husband
mo, was thinking of something. =
Merchant TraDeler.
LITTLE AGGIE's sister had invited
her best young man to tea. There was
lull in the conversation, which was
broken by the inquisitive Aggie:
Papa, is dose fedders ober Mr.. Wob-
inson's mouf?"
HAVE you made your peace with the
world?" asked minister of q dying
man. "Theres only one thing. sir, I'd
like to do and 1 could die happy" was
the faint reply. "What is it, my friend?
Speak quick, for you have but few
moments left on earth" "Well, I'd
like to kick the stuffin' out of Zeke
Brown for beatin' me in the last boss
trade. Il" But the spirit went
out into the blank unknown, leaving
the work of the flesh undone. -Mer-
chant Traveller.
why don't you feed that dog?" was
asked of an old negro" "Wny doan'
feed him? ?" "Yes, why don't you feed
him?" "Why doan' / feed myself? Use
as hungry as de dog is, an, sides dat,
he's got de vantage oh me. He ken go
out an pick up piece oh meat an go
bout his business, an lie white folks
doan' say nuthin', but eff picks up
suthin' ter eat da wants ter slap me in
! Jail, sab. A niger amt got de chance
! oh dog, nohow. "-ArkGRSdU I3'GU-
| eler.
JONEo Wlle WIS HOb very
woman, but she sometimes said til ngs
which were worthy of wit. One day,
after doing or saying something silly,
her husband snapped out: well, you
are little the worst l ever saw"
"Why, what's the matter now? Have
done anything wrong?' IL SHOULD
say so. You don't know the difference
between horse and donkey, 1 don't
believe" II didn't say you were a
horse, did 1 p she replied, meekly, and
Jones said no more.--Merchdalt IraU-
eter.