davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28
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Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

Bg Mormon customer-''I want mourn
ing band for my hat" Storekeeper--!"For
temorary use, or to wear alwaysW, Custo-
mer-"i shall never take it off," Store
keeper-"Well, here is something, that L
can warrant durable and" Customer
'sMy goodness, that won't do. it is, three
inches wide, while my hat is only SIX
inches high" Stofeksepercn ehouo fen
YOU forget. I have twelve wives, and
therefore can't spare over half an inch for
each without enlarging the hat.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

sa- "Johnnie," asked a Marathon lady of
an urchin, "why doesn't your mother sew
up that hole in your coat? Ithas been there
two weeks now" "Oh, she can't. She's
busy sewing on crazy quilt to beat Mrs.
Jones. Marathon Hedepent1e1at.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

pg A Springfield man wrote to Governor
Robinson to inquire if the law would per-
NIT him to marry cousin. The reply
was-"Thela law is 'Willin',' if the cousin is"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

~ "Why does the train run so much fast
er than yesterday ?" asked passenger on
a branch of the Wabash railroad of the con-
ductor. eve are in Missouri to-day" was
the reply, "and we always get out OF this
State as soon as possible"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

~ "What has become of our wonderful
crimson sunsets, wonder ?" said Tom.
"Why.n replied Laura, thoughtfully, look
ing up from her fashion journal, 81 suppose
they haveall gone out of style. Everything
is very quiet and elegant this spring: 1
knew those winter sunsets were too high
colored to last long. They might do for the
evening" she said, presently, in arefecti,ye
mood, 7'but they were too loud for the
street." And, bending over the description
of new walking suit, she did not see Tom,
fallen from his chair, staring wildly at her
and painfully gasping for breath.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

us. How woman does up newspaper
she sends to friend, so that it looks like a
well-stuffed pillow, is something that no
man is woman enough to understand.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

ag- 81 don't like these Shoes" said a lady
customer, tsbecause the souls are too thick: D
ISIS that the only objection ?" blandly ask
ed the shopkeeper. eyes," was the reply.
sThen, madam, if you take the shoes. can
assure you that the objection will gradually
wear aWay."-Free Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

na@ "You did not pay very close attention
to the sermon, fear, this morning"
"Oh, yes, did, mamma"
"Well, what did the minister say ?"
"He said that the picnic would start at II
o'clock Thursday morning:-and on! ma
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28
C.& l.. NARROW GAUGE RAILROAD.
u ngsEEa HF;
12*44zy9A S48t1 IEElMM- -[nnH e ~ hnhnHl
&SEyI - 81 ~ 81 SR E0H

GCHEDULE of Mail and Passenger Trains,
y from Lenoir, N. c., to Chester, s. G., taking
effect at II o'clock, Noon, Sunday, June lst,
1884. Standard of time, clock in telegraph office
at Chester.
GOING SOUTH,
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28
BIG BOOM
AT THE
YorkviIle Livery and Feed Stables.
NEW VEHICLES

IOihfllc IlFCIJ dhu ioO" o''"'''
NEW VEHICLES.
TXPECTED to arrive this week, nice lot OF
Ia Columbus Buggies, the best Buggies now
made. Also, nice lot of Cincinnati Buggies,
Carriages and Jump-seat Phatons, all standard
grade work, which will be sold at the most rea-
sonable prices.
Secondhand Vehicles.
I also have on hand number Of Buggies and
Wagons that have been in use short while which
will sell at reasonable prices for cash or on time
Buggy Cushions, Shafts and Poles kept in stock
for sale.
SOMETHING NEW.
have lust purchased No. Queen City
HEARSE, and will now be prepared to furnish
funeral occasions with Hearse and Carriages for
town or any part of the county, at short notice,
and for moderate charges.
Feed Stables.
Have YOUR horses fed at the YORKV1LLE LIV-
ERY AND FEED STABLES, where they will be
well fed and groomed. f. Il. SMITH.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

upon the favor and support Of that Supreme
Being who 7 believe will always bless hon
est human endeavors in the conscientious
discharge of public duty.
GROVER CLEVELAND.
To Hon. VIM. F. Villas, Chairman, and D.
P. Bestar and other members of Notifca-
ton Committee of Democratic National
Convention.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

n@ A very tall girl, wearing a Mother
Hubbard dress, stepped on platform scales
at Coney Island and informed the proprle-
tor that she wished to be weighed.
He placed 200-pound weight on the
hook, and the suddenness with which it
came down frightened him. Then he tried
q 15O-pound weight with the same result.
"Strange," he muttered, with perplex-
ed look at the girl; something must be
wrong with the scales"
Finally, after repeated attempts, he in
formed her in dubious tone of voice that
she weighed just eighty-nine pounds.
s'Thank you," she said, handing him the
nickle; 'I seem to be gaining" and she
tripped away.
Then the amazed scaleman looked after
her, and remarked: -,
"Some young fellow will get terribly fool
ed by that Mother Hubbard DRESS"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28
r. HAPPERFIELD.
SEASONABLE GOODS.

SEASONA6kE NOOD0s
II WOULD respectfully inform my friends and
i the public generally that have on hand, in
my store near the depot, full stock OF
Family and Fancy Groceries.
Adapted to the season. In my stock hcan, be
found Coffees and Sugars of the best brands
coffees, roasted and green, and various qualities
of Sugars. Teas, Spices, &c. Sugar Cured Hams
and Sailed Sides, Lard Flour, Meal, Grist, &c;
A fine line of Smoking and Chewing Tobacco and
Cigars. Candies and Confectionery. Canned
Goods in full variety, and, in fact, full supply
of the necessaries and luxuries of this life.
BOOTS AND SHOES.
A full stock of Boots and Shoes, for men, boys
and women.
Hardware and Wooden Ware.
keep general assortment Of Hardware and
Wooden Ware, including farming tools and uten-
sils, and am prepared to offer advantageous
prices to all who may inspect my goods.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28
Ann1uruiss Repartlnent.

SENATOR THURMAN's FISH STORY
Once upon time, when crowded about his
Presidential aspirations, Mr.. Thurman re-
piled: 81 really have no ambition in that
direction" A look of incredulity on every
face was the only response. The judge took
in these looks and related little story:
"One summer was at the Oakland house,
Maryland, spending little vacation up in
that cool mountain. We got to telling fish
ing stories. related something of my own
experience when was present and saw
When told the weight there was general
laugh, and was humorously awarded the
prize for telling fish stories. quietly re-
marked to my incredulous friends that l
hoped soon to convince them of the correct
ness of my story that in Western waters
there were catfish of ninety pounds weight.
When returned to Columbus -Fwent to the
leading restaurateur and~instructed him to
procure the largesscat6sh that could posi-
bly, be secured: He reported in few days
tRathe-ifad one. walked over and found
five pounds. I had him boxed and careful
ly packed in ice, and shipped him by ex-
press to my disbelieying friends at the Oak
land. From the restaurateur / got all the
recipes could for catfish chowder, catfish
steaks, stuffed catfish, roast, etc., and sent
them on by mail. I telegraphed as follows !:
'Skin youyFfs before you cook him.. a
catdsh's SKIN being SO rank as to-spoiift the
flesh when the fish is cooked with it on.
They eft my telegram and were puzzled.
Whenlthe boxafrived, dripping from the
melting-iee, they were more puzzled. The
letter, which arrived by the same train as
the fish explained all. They had fine
feast, and at it formally organized with a
president and secretary, passed the follow
ing resolution which was sent to me:
Resolued, That the truth of Allen G.
Thurman's statements should never be ques-
toned that his fish stories are always alb
solutely true, especially hiscatfish Stories >"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

SOME TAR HEEL WIT.-One of our dig
niied fathers, on going home recently found
his little SON under the house, whittier he
had taken refuge from his mother, to avoid
the lust deserts of his conduct. The father,
taking off his coat, crawled after him, when
the little fellow, in a whisper, asked: us
she after YOU, too 2,i=Reporter.
A negro called at an undertaker's in Lin
colnton the other day, to buy coffin for a
relative, and after giving his order remark
ed: "Boss, please let me have the coffin as
soon as possible, fur we wants to bury
promptly at II o'clock, so we can 60 to Gle
defesterment. ."-Lincol'eton Press.
A good story is told us of hotel on the
Carolina Central below Charlotte. A drum
mer stopped there for breakfast. A waiter
came to linn to know what he would have.
The drummer wound up his order with eggs.
'sBoss," said the waiter, s'how'H you hab
yer aigs cooked" "Fried." "Well, boss,
fspec you better hab 'em b1ed-day
amt right fresh" The drummer concluded
not to take ''aigs."-Liaacok,aton Press.
This is the period of politeness. An OLD
gentleman and his daughter drove into
town the other day with some produce, and
stopped in front of a store. -A.citizen rushed
off of the sidewalk and hailed them joyful
ly, helped them out of the wagon, and when
they got ready to unload got in and handed
out things. Some of those who cannot see
as far into amillstone as the man who pecks
it, looked at the polite man moment, Won
dered what he meant and passed on, but the
discerning wagged their heads and took in
the situation. He is candidate. States
q,Io Tn,,1y1nrE
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-28

IT WAS NOT THERE.-A red-faced man
behind Longtime cigar stopped in front of
a store window at the South End in which
hunga sign. "Umbrellas recovered" His
unkempt hair, gawky appearance and
homespun suit that fitted him as snugly as
does the striped suit the clown in the circus,
all bespoke the citizen from Wayback. ...
"I guess pH look over yer umbrellas, SON
n.y." said hayseed, addressing q dapper lit
tie chap behind the counter.
eyes, sir right this way" :.
A large pile of goods was displayed for
the ruralist's inspection. After looking
them over for some time he slowly moved
his head as he obviously muttered:
"No, don't ,see it anywhere"
sSee what?" asked the astonished clerk:
''Why, our umbrella. My darter Sal lost
hern when she was daown here three weeks
ago come Thursday, and when Lsaw your
sign Thought perhaps yon might have pick
ed it up. IN be down agin in few weeks
and IN drop in and see if you have heard
anything on it. Sal thought heap on that
umbrella, and I'd be mighty glad to get on
it back agin. You'll try now, sonny, to re-
cover it for me, won't yer? Good-by till l
see yer agin. ."-Boston Globe.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
A Fall Stock.

The arrivals of new!goods at II. J. GILLEN'
the past week have been simply immense, all
departments receiving large invoices. Still
further additions have been made TO the lines
noted last week, making these stocks very
large and attractive.
In the cloak stock large additional invoices
have been received This is one of Mr.. Gil.
lens pet stocks on which he lavishes UNI
usual care, if it can be said he is more careful
of any one line than another (Which is, be
tween us, doubtful), and the ladies need not,
therefore, be assured that it is not only the
finest in materials, but comprises all new
goods, new styles of shape and trimmings
1t will be also a notably cheap stock, having
been contracted for early on the most favora-
bic terms.
The carpet stock is also specially noticeable
just now; with the kindred line of window
dressing of every conceivable kind, as well as
upholstery goods; in which departments he
admits OF no competition.
The entire fall stock is, in fact, notably
large one, low in price and more than usually
attractive to buyers in more ways than one,
and all should call and see it.
Bargains in boots and shoes and groceries,
as usual.
All invited to call.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

SUED AGAIN.-The city of Ottawa has again
been made defendant in a suit on the eycrlast
ing water power bonds. Many people hat
supposed the last had been heard of this mat
ter, in legal sense, when the supreme court
passed upon the Carey bonds and the city had
paid from twelve to fifteen thousand dollars
attorneys fees. But such is not the case. II
was also well known that there were still out
standing some $4,000 in bonds with accrued
interest for ten years or more, the bonds them.
selves not becoming due until August of the
present year. These were part of the Ed.
ward Eames estate, but at some time or other
nave been transferred to other holders. The
SUIT Is brought now by William T. Carter, in
the district court of the United States for this
district, the suit returnable ON the first Mon.
DAY OF october next. Damages are placed at
s5o,oOO, which fact would indicate that there
Is sun portion of the 1884 bonds not sued
upon. At special meeting of the city coun.
ell held on Monday evening last, called 10 con
Slder the matter, the finance committee were
empowered to employ counsel to defend the
city, and by vote, Mayo " Widmer were rec.
commended, provided suitable arrangements
could be made with them.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

The Inter. OccaH fraternity column has this
to say of the new Legion, \. o. L. W, recent
ly formed at Ottawa; There were sixty -four
on the list, of whom tifty-siX were taken as
charter members. All the candidates were
pleased with the work except the candidates
that had the actual experience All they have
to say was The Lord have mercy on the next
candidate Everything passed off, as one
worthy brother expressed it, like big Meth
odist camp meeting; all they needed was one
of the comrades to cry glory to complete it,
This legion comes next to Banne Legion in
numbers, and d. g, c. Linn deserves great
credit for the excellent work he has DONE
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

An inquest was held upon the remains of
Morris Griffin, whose body was found upon
the railroad track near Earlvllle, last week
and a verdict rendered that che came to his
Chicago, Burlington IL Quincy r. r. while
insane, and by papers and letters found in
Satchel We believe his name to be Morris
Griffin, and whose residence is in Deer Park
La Sale Co., NJ The evening before the
accident he had been drinking freely, until, a.
the Loaier says, he was considerably under
the influence of liquor. Mr.. GrfiiH served as
a corporal in Co. X, Eleventh m Volunteers,
during the late war, and Of late has made his
home with friends in Deer Parl, township.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
At the White Corner.

DlED'-Miss Elizabeth Murphy, a young
lady wei known in this city, a half sister of
Mr.. W. H. Fowler, and sisterin.law of VIM.
HickIing, of this city, died very suddenly of
heart disease on Tuesday, at the residence of
Geo. n. Cash, in Streator. She had been to
Barnums circus in the evening, and but a
snort time after her return home, died The
BODY was brought to Ottawa and buried ON
thursday from st. COLUMBIA church. She
was - years Of age, and highly esteemed by
all who knew hcr.-The relatives in this city
desire to return their grateful thanks for the
many acts Of assistance and sympathy shown
by friends in tins city, AS well as in Strcator,
on the occasion Of the funeral
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

The exhibition of carpets by Scott Bros. Il
Co. this week in Earl, Leland, Somonauk and
sandwich proved to be very nice thing for
the firm' They received the contract to fur.
nish several fine new houses and the people
all along the line of the c. b. IL Q. from Earl
to Sandwich were delighted to witness such
an exhibit of carpets and curtains. They will
furnish Mr.. Edwards elegant new house in
Earl with velvets, body brussels and choice in.
rrAins.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

The Democrats on Thursday evening organ
lied in this city a Cleveland 81 Hendricks
club, with Hon. 5. Rcholson as chairman
and G. IcitIcr, secretary. Ward committees
were appointed and committees to secure re-
duced railroad rates to IA Sale and to secure
music to accompany the club to the big meet
ing to be held there. 4 meeting will be held
ON next Monday evening.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
Washburn's GOLD MEDAL FLOUR, at II
A. BUFFERS.

On Wednesday last John Hill, the sand con.
tractor for the Streator glass works, while en-.
gagged in blasting at the beds on the south
bank of the Illinois river, struck a cartridge
that had not been exploded, owing to the
dampness. The result was unfortunate-thc
cartridge was exploded in his face, producing
serious injuries and filling his eyes with sand
Hopes are entertained that he will not lose his
sight, although such a calamity was at first
Annrehendrl
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

SUNsTRoKE.-Wm. Allen, laborer on the
canal, while at work unloading stone boat
near the collectors office about half past five
O'Clock last Saturday evening, was suddenly
Frustrated with sunStroke and died almost in
stantly He was an Englishman, about IS
years of age, with wife and three children
in England whom he had just saved enough
money to send for and intended to buy the
tickets on the next Monday, lie was without
any relatives in this country, but received de
cent burial in the Ottawa cemetery under the
direction of assistant superintendent Thomas
and his fellow workmen on the canal, among
whom he was held in the very highest esteem
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
THE COURTS
Supreme Court.

In the supreme court an oral argument was
had in the Ottawa bridge mandamus case,
Messrs. Eldredge and Gilbert for the REALTORS,
and l.. W, Brewer for the county of La Sale.
The call of the docket was finished ON
Thursday, and an adjournment was had until
Tuesday morning next. The work of the
term has been pushed with yigor, the count
frequently holding evening sessions.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

The Ottawa pottery has this week finished
a new kiln of 800 gallons, which will make
their kiln capacity about 5000 gallons. Other
improvements are in progress, showing a
substantial growth in the works and testify
ing to their success. The ware now made is
equal in strength, shape and perfection Of
color and glaze to any that has ever been seen
i'm Ottawa
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
You VIII Miss 1t

If you do not go and secure some of the bar.
gains Geo. P. Rugg is offering in the fur
niture line. He is opened up again upstairs
over Trask's, and is offering his goods at re-
low prices to close his present
stock
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

Several new houses, large and small, are be.
ing erected in this city, but still the demand
for houses to rent is unsupplied. There is
but little doubt that fifty new cottages would
easily rent 1T fair rates within the next few
months.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

Boys and children's clothing just in at
StiefePs. Prices cheaper than ever. Mothers,
please call and examine our stock. No
trouble TO show goods.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
~

Have you Scca those japanese WORK or
lunch baskets? Shaw has just received lot
direct from Japan. The sizes are one and TWO
lbs. and filled with pure, fine, uocolorcd tea;
and the basket is so sweet. Just step in and
see for yourself.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

WINDOW sHADEs.-We have a large stool,
of window shades, of all sizes, plain and 'de.
ured, which we will make and hang in sat.
isiactory manner, at low prices
HAPEMAN ~ GRAHAM.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

:
: PARTIES WANTING ACARPET SHOULD 4.
. NOT FAIL TO CALL AT HULL's CAN {.
. SAVE YOU MONEY AND SHOW YOU THE {:
. FINEST STOCK IN OTTAWA, AT HULL's. ::
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
Go to Hapeman IL Graham's for all kinds of
school books and school supplies.

"Cold wave notices" will be forwarded 10
this postofcc by the Signal Service depart
ment Of the government provided there is
enough interest in the matter here to procure
the necessary flag, which is required to be $
by feet, white witha black square in the cen
ter. The announcement Of the approach Of q
be OF sufficient importance to induce some one
to procure the necessary flag.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

The ladies of the Hickory Point NJ f.
church will give a festival next Tuesday even
ing at the residence of Mr.. Sickle, near the
church. All are cordially invited.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

Our fall goods are coming every day. They
are inc best the market affords. Come and
look at us when you want nice suit.
NJ. STIEEEL,
AT thp White
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13

Inc Degen Brothers, of this city, recently
received 10 Norman horses from France, and
they Will have another importation of 25 more
this month.
The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-09-13
Highest Market Price

For choice b,ater and fresh eggs. Good fresh
groceries sold at LOWEST LIVING PRICES. All
goods as represented, Full weights and salts
faction guaranteed
c. F. HAEBERLE,
Opposite Fiske n Beem's, La Sale II.