davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
No Money in His Nose.

There was man who found out this
week in Bowery museum that he was
not so peculiarly endowed by nature as
he had supposed. Measure your own
nose, and if it is an inch long-from
the upper lip straight out to the end
you are quite sufficiently provided for
all purposes of utility and beauty. An
inch more would proverbially be a
great deal. This man had it, and, in
consequence, he overrated his nasal
importance. | am bound to say that
his length of nose is to my mind Won
derful, and entitled to be regarded as q
freak of nature. But test has proved
that it does not render him thrilling to
the masses. He is a cigar-maker by
trade. Whenever he took his walks
abroad, he was gazed at with amaze
ment. eff | am to be looked on as q
curiosity" he reasoned, lit would be
better to make a lazy living with my
abnormal nose SO he took his big
feature to the manager of a 10-cent
show.
VERY WELL" was the offer which he
received. "Tll do just the same by
you that | do by any other new freak.
We can't tel what IL catch on with the
public. You can have a place on the
platform for week. If you make a
failure, I'll give you So; if you hit EN-,
III fix a square, liberal salary"
''But how m to know whether l hit
'em?n the amateur curiously asked.
''By seeing whether the folks stop to
look at you. That's the test"
The nose was not potent. What had
been novel in private life, was almost
disregarded in professional. 1t seems
to be settled that a protuberance of two
inches does not make face fascinating
The man has returned to his cigar
bench.-NeaO York Letter.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
Ducking a Bloodhound.

As the boat was loading eotton-meal
at Natchez, we saw big bloodhound
come down the street, walk around the
wharf-boat and stretch out in the sun
for nap. The talk at once turned
upon dogs, and then upon this one in
particular.
THAT dog" said one of the passen-
gers, would no doubt kill any man
whom he attacked.
This was followed by various yarns
in regard to the strength and ferocity
of bloodhounds, and then another pas
senger put in:
'1'n give any man dozen good
cigars who will go out there and wake
that dog up and pat him on the head. Z"
"A dozen cioarsr' echoed another,
''why, man, l wouldn't 90 cut there
and rouse him up for SO bill.
.'Humphn' sneered maa who sat
with his feet on the rail little ways
off, and who had come aboard as we
landed.
maybe you want to wake up that
dogr holly remarked the so man.
Il think l could.
'You do, eh?"
''Tll bet you $40 | dare fling him
into the riyer!''
Ozone! Done quicker than creased
Eghtningr' shouted the other, as he
felt for his cash, and in minute or two
the money was mp.
'.Now, then, you are to walk down
there, seize him by the collar and fling
him into the river
, ''Exactly!'
And he walked. Without betraying
the least hesitation, he went down the
plank. marched up TO the dog, and
taking him by the collar drew him TO
the edge and dumped him off. The
dog made no resistance, and speedily
swan around to the bank and trotted
off up the street.
We all felt completely fattened out,
and after the stakes were given up and
the winner had disappeared, | went
over to the pilot, whose face wore a
broad grin, and asked:
+, did you see it?"
Eyes"
Didn't the dog have any gritp"
Heaps of it; but if you had owned
him for five years, and had played this
same game fifty times on greenhorns,
he wouldn't bite you, either. Detroit
Free Press.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
She Knew She Was Right.

as the gentleman of the house IMP"
he asked.
Eyes, sir; he air.
''Can | see him q moment?"
'.No, sir; you can't see hide nor
hair of inn"
"Why can't /, MADAME / would like
to speak to him on business"
eff you was dyin', an Jim war the
only doctor in Dakoty, you couldn't sot
an eye on him till he gives in an talks
decent. At dinner, while ago, he tole
me to pass i'm the apple soss, an l
toP him it wasn't soss, but sass, an
/ tor him that wen he tux. notion
that little apple sass'd feel soothin'
to his stomach, TO say so, an he said
he'd have that soss er die Then / toll
him I'd defend that sass with life, an
he made break up through the scuttle
inter the loft. Wen his senses come
to him an he gives in that sass is sass,
he kin cum down, but if he makes a
break afore that, off goes the top of his
head. Thar sets the sass, stranger, an
thar's Jim up in the loft, an that's the
way the matter stands jist now, an /
reckon you'd better mosey along an
not get mixed inter this row.
As the gentleman moved away, he
heard her voice saving:
Jim, wen you get tired O. yer darn
foolin' an want this sass, jes' squeal
out!''
And a gruff voice from the darksome
garnet responded:
''Soss!" Bismarck Tribune.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
Sold Out Too Cheap.

II didn't use to believe nothin' in ed
decashun," said he, as he heaved g
sigh like the groan of a sick horse.
MY boy Dan'l he got hold of books
and things and branched out as ge-
ologist He got so he could talk OF
stratas, and formations, and belts, and
dips, and indicashuns, and one day he
said to me, SEE he:
"'Dad, thar's coal mine on our
land.
".How dye know?'
".Fve prospected and found indica-
shuns. That hull hill is chuck full OF
coal
land that hull 'tater patch is full
of weeds, seq l.
you see, l sold short on geology
and went long on Eaters, and l missed
it. One day stranger with a squinl
to his eye cum along and offered me
$500 fur my land, and away she went. y
''And-"
"Waal, they've taken half milyur
dollars with of coal out O. that hill and
hahn It reached the middle yet. Dan.
was right and l was q fule.''
''And now?"
"Waal, I'm a-drivin a mule team
fur livin', and all the indicashuns
Dan'l can find ar to the effect that
orter be sent to a lunatic asylum. y
Val Street NeaCS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
Krupp's Big Hammer.

The great tifty-ton hammer in
Krupp's works at Essen gained its
name, "Unser Fritz, and the inscrip-
ton it bears, Fritz, let fy!' in the fol-
lowing manner: When, in 1877, the
Emperor William visited Essen, this
steam hammer attracted his attention.
Krupp presented to him the machinist,
Fritz, who, he said, handled the ham,
mer with such nicely and precision as
not to injure or touch an object placed
in the center of the block. The emper-
or at once put his diamond-studded
watch on the spot indicated, and beck
oned to the machinist to set the ham
mer in motion. Fritz hesitated out OF
consideration for the precious object,
but krupp urged him on by saying,
Fritz, let fly" Down came the ham
mer, and the watch remained untouch-
ed. The Emperor gave it to the ma
chinist as souyer If, and Krupp added
1000 marks to the present.-M Y
Tribune.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
SCROFULA

and all scrofulous diseases, Sores, Erysipe-
las, Eczema, Blotches, Ringworm, Tu-
mors, Carbuncles, Boils, and Eruptions
of the Skin, are the direct result of an
impure state of the blood.
To cure these diseases the blood must be
purified. and restored TO healthy and ma
tural condition. Ayers SARsAPARILLA has
for over forty years been recognized by emf
neut medical authorities as the most pow
erful blood purifier in existence. 1t frees
the system from all foul humors. enriches
and strengthens the blood, removes all traces
of mereurial treatment, and proves itself
complete master of all scrofulous diseases.
A Recent Cure of Scrofulous Sores.
"Some months ago l was troubled with
scrofulous sores ulcers on my legs. The
limbs were badly swollen and int1amed, and
the sores discharged large quantities of
offensive matter. Every remedy / tried
failed, until ] used AYERS SARsAPARILLA,
of which | have now taken three bottles,
with the result that the sores are healed,
and my general health greatly improved.
] feel very grateful for the good your
medicine has done me.
Yours respectfully MRS. ANN O'BRIAN."
14e Sullivan ST., New York, June a, 1882.
~ All persons interested are invited
to call on Mrs. O'Brian; also upon the
Rev. II. p. Nilds of rs East 54th Street,
New York City, who will take pleasure
I'm testifying to the wonderful efficacy of
Ayers SarsapariIIa, not only in the cure
of this lady, but in his own case and
many others within his knowledge.
The well-known ,criter on the Boston Herald,
3. W. BALL, of Rochester, Nh, writes, June
Z, 1882:
Having suffered severely for some years
with Eczema and having failed to find relief
from other remedies, / have made use. during
EIIIA. which has effected a complete cure.
j consider it a magnificent remedy for all
blood diseases"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

The Cathedral City, as this State
Capital is named, has very little of con-
spicuous interest unassociated with
yonder great piece of architecture,
which. so thickly shrouded in snow to-
day, has No equal in architectural view
on the Western Hemisphere. 1t has its
history That history is associated
with the Santa Eulalia mine, which, up
to 1929, or the date of the expulsion of
the Spaniards from Mexico, has yielded
$265, 900, 900. The great cathedral was
constructed by tax forced on the
mine of one real, or twelve and one
half cents, out of each mare, or every
So. by order of the Royal Government
of Spain. The edifice cost 81, 600, coo.
Doubtless another $3.50 600 was con-
tributed by the people in labor and ma
terial. 1t would require IS, 500, 600 to
erect it in our time. The cornerstone
was laid III 1925.
Architecturaiiy. the grand cathedral
stands peerless, as tar as magnificently
symmetrical proportions are to be re-
garded in America. The great cathe-
dral of the City OF Mexico covers more
ground. Still, in design, attractions of
harmonious blending of three schools
of architecture, it is blunt and bum
Cling and unsightly piece OF work COM
pared with this masterpiece of Cristov-
al de Villa. He passed more than half
of his business lie constructing this
great church. The design is the tri-
partite schools of Corinthian, Doric and
Ionic. The rear CT great dome end,
which faces the west, has n width OF
1884 feet. The front on the grand
plaza, crowned by the twin towers, has
a width of eighty-five feet. The au-
dience capacity of the large auditorium
is G, 600 people. The principal or front
facade is elaborate in the Doric school
of architecture 1t is faced with elab-
orately carved columns, interspersed
| among which are the statues OF the
twelve apostles and San Francisco de
Aziz, patron of the -Chahatd-
hua Cor. Kansas city Times.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

A thrilling story is told of the narrow
escape of Peter Scanlon and Tim Horn
from being swept over the American
Falls at Niagara. They were at work
on a milL-race trying to raise an ice
blockade, when they were thrown by
the springing of some plank into the
water. In a moment they were carried
into the swift current above the Goat
Island bridge toward the falls. Near
where the men were working and below
the bridge was large cake of ice,
toward which they were carried. In
their desperation they attempted to
catch hold of the ice cake, and when
found half an hour later they were
hanging on to it for dear life. Ropes
were procured and they were hauled
ashore.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
Anecdote from the Cowboy Country

Two ladies, one from the East and
the other from the West, were sitting
last summer on the veranda of one of
our fashionable frontier hotels in Miles
City chatting together, when two cattle
men, clad in leather pants, buckskin
shirts and sombreros, rode up.
''Oh, N.Y." exclaimed the Eastern
lady, '.there are some of those horrid
cowboys; let US 60 inside"
s.Whv, you wretch cried the little
Western woman, chats my husband, -
pointing to the foremost horseman.
'.And the othere' inquired the East
ern lady.
MY brother" said the Western
ladY.-Caicago Tribune Letter.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
I HAVE used Ely's Cream Balm for

HAVE used Ely's Cream Balm fol
Catarrh and Cold in the head. 1t is {
first rate preparation; would recommend
it to anyone affected R W. Cheever
Editor Herald, Clinton. Wis.
had Catarrh in it's worst form. On
bottle of Ely's Cream Balm stoppeo
droppings into my throat, pain and sore
ness in my head and deafness.
D. Hagadorn, Union, n Y
My son aged nine years, was afflicted
with Catarrh; the use of Ely's Cream
Balm effected complete cure. W. e
Hannah, Easton, Pa
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
4 LAWYERS OPINION OF INTER.


J. A. Tawney, Esq, a leading attorney
of Winona, Mimi, writes: CATER using
it for more than three years, I take grea;
pleasure in stating that l regard Dr.
Kings New Discovery for Consumption
as the best remedy in the world fol
Coughs and Colds. 1t has never failed tc
cure the most severe colds have had,
and invariably relieves the pain in the
chest" Trial bottles of this sure cure fol
Throat and Lung Diseases may be had
Free at Robinson & Hinrich's Drug
Store. Large size $1.00.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
EVERYBODY Knows IT VIII

EVERYBODY Knows IT When you
have the Itch, Salt Rheum, Calls, o'
Skin Eruptions of any kind, and tie
Piles, that yon know without being told
oft. Emil Fisehel or T. c. Buereiattt
the Druggists viii sell you DIR. Bosanko's
Pile remedy for 80 cents, which affords
immediate relief, and is g sure cIIre for
either of the above diseases.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

A young lawyer, while making his
maiden speech in the court house here,
in defending little negro boy for some
petty crime, in the midst of an impas-
stoned appeal to the twelve good and
true men, exclaimed: 'Ah, gentlemen
of the jury, you see before you this
poor trembling boy-without father,
without mother, without friends, with
out COUNSEL. At this point, the ora
tor was interrupted by a general litter
around the bar. and, to add to his con-
fusion. the Judge, who was smiling on
the bench, added: Proceed, Brother
-, the Court is with you. Morgan
form MOM1tGineer
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

IT is related that Representatives
George D. Wise, of Virginia, and Towns
bend, of Illinois. and Senator German,
of Maryland, were once pages in Con
gress, along with the actor Stuart Robson;
and German was afterward President OF
the National Base Ball Club.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

In all ages and all countries the scale.
have been the emblem of justice From
this it is painfully evident that the fel
lows whose business it has been to gel
mp emblems have never traded much nj
groceries and provision stores -Lo10ei
Citizen.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
BUCKLEN'S ARNlCA SALVE.

The best satve IN the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rhenm, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains,
corns, and al skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles. 1t is guaranteed t.
give perfect satisfaction or money re
funded. Price 25c per box. For sale
by Robinson & Hinrichs. 16mar84
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
Ayers SarsapariIla

stimulates and regulates the action of the
digestive and assimilative organs, renews
and strengthens the vital forces, and speedily
cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Rheuma-
tic Gout, Catarrh. General Debility, and
all diseases arising from ar impoverished or
corrupted condition of the blood, and weak
eued vitality.
Itis mcomparably the cheapest blood medi-
cine, or account of its concentrated strength,
and great power over disease.
PREPARED By
Dr.. j.. c. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by al Druggists; price 81, six bottles
for So.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

NOTICE TO HORSE OWNERS.
Prevent your Horses from getting the
Chambers by the timely use of our
''Hinrichs Improved Horse Powder"
Ell. HINRICHs.
Formerly Robinson & HinricLs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

PLATINUM wire has been drawn so fine
as to be absolutely invis. bic to the naked
eye.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

the best remedies ior It, at Fl. Hinrichs',
| formerly Robinson & Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

Elo,ll Y I O1
restores. with tie gloss ami freshness OF
yeu.h. faded or gray hair 10 a natural. rel,
Down color. or deep black, as may By desired.
~ is use light or red hair may be darAeled,
tain hair thie&eMcd, and badness often.
though not always, cured.
1t checks falling OF tie hair. and stimU-
latss a weak ami sieAly growth TO vigor. il
prevents and cures scarf and dandruif, and
heals nearly every disease peculiar 10 tie
scalp. As . Ladies Hair Dressing, The
EiGoR is une1uaned; il contains neither oil
nor dye. renders the ls..r soft, glossy, and
s.Iken IN appearance, ard iiap2rts delicate
agreeable. and lasting perfume.
Ns. C. P. BuicuEI; writes fcom Kirjg, o.,
I4ifg ,. ls-1 - Last iali my hair commenced
falling out, ami il. short time became
nearly bald. used pa-t OF a noifie OF
AvFI:,S HAIR NiGoR wliicl stopped tie fall
ing OF the hair. 8aa starved res growth
have now p fuli head II h3ir grow LE FigQf-
cus.v. and am Convinced that tiLL icf the
use OF yout preparation should have been
entiseiy bald
i. ". BowES. proprietor Of the We fr;kUT
tDIi0 enquirer -.4ss - AYERS HAIR NtGuR
* = most excel iel.t preparation Tor t1e mar.
speak Of il tr1iai my us5ti experience. Its
use i'r1'u'.eS tile GROWTH 81 - -, : 81.
makes Is glossy ;'l#., sol 'ie i9oi' i,'.o
sure c.ita 10Y j-DU ~. ee1t Nt.-.i! iil
.4la 81 = has y3te peel@Et.oa ever lsl'oi
g. -.F3 el',lzs s5i}t 5iissiirH
1sr. Avcrs FAiRbAfRN. leader OF ~
ee.sa-1tai +, F3lcas,irn Ets1it uI Scet4.si
c..3 SIS. yct.-s t.3a ts.5J. Hess, 2 et r,
IS7a =. tyer since iay Eair he-,-H - we ST.
E-r. evidence ui the CHANGE F5-ilsu !ie'-l &.
t..3s ,a-gcar- .. 7 have ssed -tN..H's Hams
Ni.sal. aat SD have been able - nialat" y
rH..HHH H e. H
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
LAME HORSES

will soon be cured by the use of oul
Liniments. b. HINRICHs.
Formerly Robinson & Hinrichs
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

CUTS AND CALLS ON HORSES
are very quickly healed by "Hinrichs
Equine Healing Lotion"
II. HINRICHs,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

1884 Almanacs given away at FL. Hin
richs', formerly Robinson & Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT 1T.

Ness. Robinson & Hisarichs:-We take
this means of attesting our high opinion
of Hinrichs' american Corn Cure. Our
opinion of its value in removing Corns
and Warts is based on the fact that we
have used it and have found that it will
do just what you claim for it. As cure
for Corras and Warts it is deserving of
the highest praise. and we take pleasure
in recommending it to all who are affiict-
ed, knowing that it will effect cure in
every instance.
Yours respectfully,
II. d. SMALLEY, Justice of the Peace.
HUeH MORRISON, City Marshal.
R. D. SMART, County Judge.
c. 81. SCHMIDT, Editor Nord Weston.
FRED. HEINEMAN, City Clerk.
G. S. CANRIGHT. HENRY BURcHERDT.
A. D. SMITH. 81. KLNGHoLz, Oil.
f. BRANDEIs. ROYAL SNTFFIN.
JOHN PITz. FRANK a. MILLER.
J. P. REINDL. VIM. RUNGE.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10

Positively cures night losses, supermatorrhoea,
impotency, nervous debility, and for all weakness
ses of the generative organs unfaillng and pos
tive cure. Tones up the debilitated system, ar
rest all involuntary discharges, removes mental
gloom and dependency, and restores wonderful
power to the weakened organs rs WIN each
order for twelve packages, accompanied with five
dollars we will send our Guarantee TO refund the
money il the treatment does not effect a cure. 1t
is the Cheapest and best medicine in the market.
Full particulars in pamphlet. which we mail free
to any address. sold by all druggists, one pack
age 50 cents; six for 50 so, or sent BIZ mail on
celpt of price. by addressing the MAGN ETC
MEDICINE CO, DETROIT, MICH.
Sold and Guarantees issued in Manitowoc BY
Emit fischel, druggist. 1IuneS4
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
HORSE DISTEMPER

Formerly Robinson & Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-04-10
PREPARED BY

Or. &c. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass
Sold by all Druggists.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1884-04-17
Then And Now!

We once heard story of man in
the army, who, no matter how dis
couraging the circumstances in which
he might be placed, would always ut
ter the philosopic expression: I'm
glad it's no worse p It is very seldom,
in this world, that man gets into a
place, or condition, that might not be
made worse. We hear the complaint
quite frequently, that ''times are
hard" and that it is almost impossi-
BILE for man to get along. Yet it
might be worse.
Our old and much esteemed friend,
David Edwards, of Oak Hill, called on
last Friday. Mr.. Edwards has lived
to behold wonderful changes in the
condition of affairs in this country.
He came to Jackson County in 1885.
He was a carpenter, his brothers,
Eben father of I. J. Edwards, of this
place. and Thomas, being stone ma
sons.
They had only 121 cents left when
they arrived. From that small
beginning he built up competen-
cy-in fact, became quite wealthy.
He has ten thousand dollars invested
in salt works near Pomeroy, and has
abundant wealth besides. He now
resides near Oak Hill, and the family
of his deceased brother, Thomas, keep
house for him. Mr.. Edwards is SO
years of age, and was never married.
Mr.. Edwards is firmly convinced
that, were the young men Of to-day
to try the good old Democratic twelve
times for a while,
every young man would always there
after be Jealous Republican. And
he is right.
The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1884-04-17
WHOLE NO. 1921.

1 continued to improve until my
health and strength returned thus en-
abling me to carry out desire which
| consider duty in writing you this
letter and saying that my life, health
and hope for coming years are due
wholly to Warmers Safe Cure, which
has done wonders for me, and also re-
stored many Of my friends.
Many who may read these lines will
possibly think am over-enthusiastic.
Is it possible to be over-enthusiastic
after being delivered from life Of
misery and brought into a world OF
comfort and happiness? Was the
blind man mentioned in the Bible,
whose sight was restored, too enthu-
siasticp The fact is | am only doing
what / believe to be my duty in MAX
ing my experience public, for / know
there are myriads Of women who are
going into the same dark path unless
they are warned in time and saved as
I nave been. This is most serious
matter and one which concerns the
welfare Of the nation as well as the
happiness of the people. LIE the mo-
theirs Of this land are unhealthy
America will become nation OF IN
valids, and any means which can so
safely and surely avert this danger as
that which | have described, should
be gladly welcomed by all true men
and women. Mrs. W. MASON.
271 Quincy street.
TOpekG, Kansas.