The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1884-07-16
[From the Toledo Blade.l

CoNFEDERTT x ROADS,
CWich Is In the State Nv Kentucky,
Joon q, 1884.
I Iconsidered it necessary to call the
Dimocrisy together last mite to the eend
NV concertin methuds Nv oonductin the
next campane. Inezmuch ez the saliva
shen NV the Corners, ez well ez the ken
try, depends upon the defect Nv Blaine,
/ concluded to act upon the principle
that eternal vigilence is the price NV
liberty. In the interest Nv reform and
pure Government we must defect Blaine,
and to defect Blaine we must kerry In
jeany, and to kerry Injeanny deter
mined to git ready the men we shell
send from Kentucky into Inieanny to
vote, and hev 'em in readiniss to go ez
we know that the price per he'd hez
been put up in hard cash. We are pat
riots, but we alluz want to know, first,
whether our candidate hez barl, and,
second, whether he is going to put it
on tap.
Therefore I called meetin that l
mite set the ball a rollln and commenst
to address it myself. lopened elokent-
ly ez follows:
Fellow Citizens: ITO begin with /
shel hey to explane -"
That wnz all Nv that speech witch l
ever delivered. That audashus wretch,
Joe Bigler, forced his way thro the
throng, and ascending to the pulpit
rekested me set down, which [ did.
When he requests NE | alluz do.
"Feller-citizens," said Josef, "the
word explain wich- our subsidized
frend yoosed, reminds me Nv an anec-
dote. There wuz stutterin man witch
he'd wife, and the wife went away
from home to visit her mother to be
gone some two weeks. She he'd jis,
got to the depot to take the traine when
she remembered suthin wich made il
nessary for her to return immejitly to
her peaceful home. She entered the
front door and diskivered her husband
on the stares kissin her servant gal.
This wuz twenty yeers ago. The gen
tleman wich suffered wuz narratin the
affectin insident to his friends recently,
and he remarked: and j-j-j-ist TIT.
think NV t.t-the o-n-r-reasonb-b -b-b blen.
cess NV w-w-w-w-o men! 1t t-t-t-took
me f-f-f-ffteen years to explain that j,
"My friends, Dimocrisy hez q very
similar experience, Originally he wu2
welded to the Goddis Nv Liberty, and
a very promisin couple they wuz. But
in Calhoon's time the Goddess caught
him kissin the old harlot Seceshn, and
he hez bin thirty odd yeers explainir
that. =. .s,.,,. ,,, .. 49,. IA,
,'".Scasely wuz that fixed up when he
went gallivantin of after Slavery, the
elder sister, nv Seceshn, and made wal
upon Mexico at her biddin. He hez bir
over thirty years explainin that.
"Onct more leavin his lawful bride,
be took an excursion into Kansas, and
wuz KEEP nifty busy for several years ex.
plainin that. ,e
:, "Then Slavery and Seceshn jined
hands in 1861 and attempted to murder
his spouse, and he follered 'em blindly,
giving 'em all the help he could. He
hez bin explainin that for about twenty
four yeers.
"From 1865 to 1873 he made viger.
us effort to save the life NV both the old
hags, and he hez he'd his hands full evel
since to eXplane that.
"Forgettin his marital VOWS he after.
wards assaulted his wife's fust cousin,
the Nashnel Credit, and insisted upon
fiat money and KILN off speshy pay.
ment, and he hez bin explainin that
ever sence.
"He prosecuted every unjust war he
ever waged, and opposed the only just
one we ever had, and he hez been ex.
plainin both Nv 'em ever sence.
"He rushed off into repoodiashen uy
honest debt, and he hez bin explainir
that ever sence.
"He howled for speshy when we
ought to hev good paper mummy, and
howled for rag mummy when we ought
to hev nothin but speshy or its equiva
lent, and he's bin explainin that evel
sence.
SIN breef, the fust4hing Dimekratit
speeker allus does when he commences
his speech is to explain, and that okke
pies him till he closes.
"My friends, ther don't happen to be
: single thing that Dimocrisy hez attempt
ed to do that he hezn't bin compelled tc
explane. He hez managed, with skill
witch is trooly wonderful, to git on thu
wrong side Nv every question that he;
bin afore the Amerikin people evel
since he wuz born. IF there's sir
wich he hezn't taken to his buzum anC
fur witch he's now explainin, I dom
happen to remember it. If theirs ;
heresy he hezn't sided with, an erro
wich he hezn't embraced, wrong wicl
he hezn't championed, and a piece O
cussid foolishnis wich he hezn't in
dorsed, Ihev forgotten it.
"Other parties sometimes makes mis-
takes-the Dimocrisy hez week.-mrs. fo
crime. 1t perpetooally wants to com
NIT murder without any reason for it
1t Is the one party that never wuz rite
One wood suppose it mite OCCASIONAL,
blunder into doin the proper thing, but i
doesn't. Ii hez the whisky inhooenc
at its back, and it wood court Mormon
ism ef Utah he'd Electoral vote. The
amt any sin wich it doesn't take t,
with a relish, none witch its adherence
won't stumick. The Dimekratic stun
lex is wus nor an ostrich's; the ostricl
kin digest staple stones-Dimocris
wakes strong on actooal pizen.
can't feed on grass, and sweet corr
wood turn its stumick. 1t wants stil
slops with stricknin into it,. -.,.
fVTha Dimekratin Marty is like q re