The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-11-13
HUMOif.

The diamond pin of the Wall street
broker is being worn this summer by
the wife of the pawnbroker.
sill treat you to q mug of half-and-
half" said the pugilist, as he struck
the other fellow in the face. making it
black and blue.
THE wife of preacher in Georgia
takes turns with him in preaching.
When his parishioners see the old gen
tleman digging worms in the backyard
they know that it is his day Off
A CYCLONE in Kansas carried away a
bank building. but, al the cashier had
departed in an opposite direction the
day before, II wasn't thought worth
while to hunt alasw the bank.
A JUVENILE inquirer was looking at
some Of those pictures Of angels in
which only heads and wings are visi-
BILE, and, after q few minutes reflection,
he gave voice to his thoughts as follows:
"Well, mamma, how do they sit DOWN."
-Sauannah Ne,0s.
"How ARE times with youq' asked an
old resident of Austin of celsred bar
Der. Il nebber seed 'em SO bad. boss"
"You don't have much to do?" Il
reckon not, boss. Times ana SO hard
dat outer ten men, eleben don't get
shaded at all, and all de rest shades
'emselves. "-Teras Sittiys9s.
II HEAR you've had q promotion.
Glad to hear of your good luck. Good
luckl You don't call it good luck to
be taken into partnership, do your"
swell, yes, should think SO. 1t gives
man better chance to acoumnfatesa
fortune" "Not when he vas cashier
in the first place"
"ToT," said Blossom, shave you ever
been baptized?" "Yeth, I have Been
baptithed. remember all about it,"
do your" said Blossom ~Did the
minister put water on your head. like
he did on Baby Johnnie's?" "No-o-o,"
said Tot; "the doctor he juthscratched
my arm and rubbed something on it,
1t didn't hurt bit"
In the shop of boulevard pastry
cook in Paris young masher ques-
toned the freshness of tart The
shopkeeper was touched to the quick,
and remarked severely: Il made tarts,
young man, a good while before you
were born" Il don't doubt it, was
the reply, sand this must be one. of
them"
A POPULAR London comedian had
in his service short time since SER
want whom he had taken, out of charity,
from the work-house. One day she
was veryS insolent to her mistress,
whereupon the comedian told her
that if it occurred again he should
certainly send her back to the place
whence she came. Il won't go there"
she replied, ION any account If the
worst comes to the worst, I'll go on
the stage"
JoNEs-"Hal ha! Life will now be
worth living. L might show this item
of news to my next-door neighbor. He
can't fail to take the hint Phe paper
says some genius has invented noise
less violins for practice ana they are
already on sale" Smith (wearily)-
"That won't help me any. I've got to have
my sleep broken until greater boon to
humanity appears. Jones-"Why,w what
could be greater boon to humanity
than noiseless musical instruments 2"
Smith (mopping his throbbing tenn
Piles -"Noiseless babies"
NARROW ESCAPE.
And so you are. going, you tell me, ton orrow?
I'll miss YOU so much, Mr.. Brown:
But the World, as you know, IN oeriiowing with
sorrow-
They tell me it's very lively in town.
I'm sorry you re off: good by thank you kindly
For reading me all those book
(ae didn't propose, a. i thought he would,
blindly;
H. bo
"Oh, yes 1t Il true; am going tomorrow:
Good night and good-by, Miss Grace;
And there's always bane Tor the world of sor
low
IN thinking of your fair face.
All, me, but these partings aressad beyond rea-
sonl
Don't laugh-it isn't tear
I'm han gedif come to this place next season
I've had a close shave this yearo