The Opelousas courier., 1884-07-12
Aunt Hannah's Hearing.

I think it was Carlyle who said
Against stupidity thegods are pow
erless."
My husband is an Englishman, sol
i'd, practical, with a stock of common
sense that is inexhaustable. and a fer
vent belief in the ~capability of a very
stupid little wife.
am q Yankee girl, and fond Of do
nestle life. That suits Caspar, and we
have as cosy a little home as any two
people in the world could desire to
have who, possess only a modest COM
potency. But I may as well admit it
| am very ambitious. and was only too
anxious about getting on in the world
in a financial way-in fact, I wanted
to be rich.
Caspar and / had little encounters
of wit occasionally, about what | call
ed the English and he the Yankee, of
our habits and peculiarities, but as he
had left London when a mere boy, his
Cockney dialect was not very pro-
n0unced, at least, not more than mine
was in the other direction, for if he
said 'beg pawdon,a when he fell over
the cat. / said II guess" a dozen times
day, instead of the II presume So
of Britain, and we managed to aver
age our virtues and defects in a man
ner satisfactory to both.
One morning Caspar referred to a
letter he was reading and said:
Lottie. my aunt Hannah is coming
to visit us. I forgot to tell you, and
she win be here to-day"
.'HoW provoking" I answered.
Fate saved me from Immature.
Caspar supposed | referred to the fact
Of her not telling me sooner.
aYes, il quite slipped my mind, but
will order a joint at the butchers,
and you can make a pudding or tart,
and do try and amuse the old lady,
for she is very ioW-spirited. She
writes that she lost her hearing in the
South, and is much detected over il"
Deaf Good gracious, this was
worse than ALL Then / remembered
that Aunt Hannah was very rich.
What was to prevent her leaving us
all her money or better yet. setting
Caspar up in business with a portion
of 1t a once? I had never seen any
BIZ Caspar's relatives, who had only re-
Gently come to the United States. and
determined to show her what a
treasure Of a wife he had. / would be
ears for her, and she would learn to
depend On me, and what more natural
than that she would make him her
heir. and leave me a legacy. I would
invest it in diamonds-no, I would
buy stocks-or loan ii out at q big per
centagel
The clock striking ten reused me-.
Caspar was gone. The maid-I only
keptone-was finishing the mornings
work, and I hurried up stairs and
made d careful toilet-a subdued
morning negligee. neat and
tasteful and not too extravagant.
Then l sat down and began 10 dispose
oyer again Of my prospective fortune.
The sound Of the stage coach stop
ping at thesdoor recalled me from my
castle III Spain, and ! flew 10 the steps
and spread my hands out in welcome,
as a small dark. spitefullooking old
lady, with a wrinkled face and a false
front, got cautiously out and stood on
THE pavement.
dearest aunt \ shrieked In a high
falsetto voice, Il am delighted to see
you. Caspar could not DO here, but
be left his love and welcome for you
The driver of the coach looked al
nae curiousl,, as II he thought / was
talking To some ii in the next town
ship. One or two Of tile neighbors
raised their windows and looked out to
see what the disturbance was, but mr.
new relative did not appear ~ hear ny
voice sven at that awful altitude. She
F4FE
was looking after her boxes and bun
dies, and merely frowned ID answer to
my stentorian welcome.
ALLOW mo. aunt, I shouted in her
ear as + took her handbag and shawl
Then i paid The driver and dismissed
MIN and, followed ~ Aunt Hannah,
entaTed tbs house. AS deaf people
talk very loudly themaelyes, / was
surprised e hear tho visitor say LII d
somewhat sharp vcice:
10 this II CaspaFs hoase VERY
nics 1 must say-qulte elegsn
q wish Il was 3 thousand times
nieef, kor your SAKE ! exclaimed, o.
raaheF shouted. sTake Of youE things,
hnilts aaa make yourself II home