The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-01-24
nodded ac~quiescence. ..The axact

"Non-existent," 1 answered, frankly.
f'Then, my dear sir, excuse such
plainness of speech in a mar of my pro-
fession; but if you throw it up you will
be a perfect fool, sir; a perfect fool, I
assure you"
.But perhaps, Blenkinsopp, the next
of-hin won't step in to claim it,"
doesn't matter a bit, my dear fell
low. Executors are bound to satisfy
themselves before paying you over your
legacy that you have assumed and will
use the name of Akin before and in lad
dition to your own name of Payne, in
the manner hereinbafore recited.
There's no getting over that in any
way"
L sighed aloud. Twelve hundred a
year is certainly very comfortable" I
said. 'But it's a COMPOUNDED bore that
one should have a condition tackled onto
it which will make one a laughing
stock for life to all the buffoons and idi-
OTIS of ones acquaintance"
Blenkinsopp nodded in modified as
sent. "After ALL" he answered, 81
wouldn't mind taking it on the same
terms myself
ssWeu,' said I, sche sara sara. If it
must be, it must be; and you may put
an advertisement into the Times ae-
accept the condition"
'I won't stop in town." said I to my
self, s'to be chafed by all the fellows at
the club and in the masters room at
st. Martins. I'll run over on the Con-
tinent until the ways (confound them)
have forgotten all aboutit it. I'm asensi-
tive man, and if there's anything on
earth / hate it's cheap and easy joking
and punning on a name or a personal
popularity which lays itself open obvi-
ously to stupid buffoonery. OF course
1 shall chuck up the schoolmastering
now;-it's an odious trade at any time
and 1 may as well take a pleasant
holiday while I'm aboutit. Let me see
Nice or Cannes or Florence would be
the best thing at this time of year. Es-
cape the November togs and January
frosts. Let's make it Cannes, then,
and try the first effect of my new name
upon the corpus uile of the C%annois."
So 1 packed up my portmanteau hur-
riedly, took the 7:45 to Paris, and that
same evening found myself comforta-
bly, ensconced in a soagon lit, making
my way as fast as the Lyons line would
carry me, en- route for the blue Medi-
terranean. The Hotel du Paradis at
Cannes is a very pleasant and well man.
aged place, where l succeeded in max
ing myself perfectly at home. / gave
my full name to the concierge boldly.
THANK Heaven" I thought, 'Aikin
Payne will sourd to her just as good a
label to ones back as Howard or Chol-
mondely. She won't see the absurdity
OF the combination" She was a fat
Vaudoise Swiss by origin, and she took
it without moving amuscle. But she
answered me in very tolerable English,
-me, who thought my Partisan accent
unimpeachable! Wary well, SIR,
your lettares shall be sent to your
lapartments.n saw there was the
faintest twinkle of q smile about the
corner of her mouth and I felt thai
even she, a mere foreigner, a Swiss
concierge, perceived at once the incon-
gruity of the two surnames. Incongrui'
ty !! that's the worst'of it Would that
they were incongruous! But Its their
fatal and obvious congruity with one
another that makes their juxtapositior
so ridiculous. Call a man Payne, and
1 venture to say, though I was to the
manner born, and it's me that says it as
oughtn't to say it, you couldn't find 8
heater or more respectable surname in
all England; call him plain Akin,
and though that perhaps is
less -aristocratic, it's redeemed
by all the associations of child.
hood with the earliest literature
we imbibed through the innocuous
pages of Evenings at Homer" but joir
the two together, in the order of alpha
betical preeedence, and you get anAikin-
Payne, which is a thing to make a sen.
sitive man, compelled to bear it for 6
lifetime, turn permanently red like
boiled lobster. My uncle must have
done it on purpose, in order to intiict 6
deadly blow on what ne would doubt
less have called my COMPOUNDED self
conceit!
However, 1 changed my tourist suit
for a black cutaway and made my way
down to the SGlLe-G-manger. The din
ner was good in itself and was enliv
ened for me by the presence of an ex
tremely pretty girl of, say nineteen
who sat just opposite, and Whose
natural protector I soon managed tt
/ otdW casually lhGO a SChCl al SOufC1
sation. l say her natural protector, be
cause though 1 took him at the time fol
her father, / discovered afterwards tina
he was really her uncle. Experience
has taught me that when you sit oppo
site a pretty girl at an hotel, you ough
not to open fire by directing your OBJ
s%ervations to herself in person; you
should begin automatically by gaining
H. -, -,
through the wisdom or the .sor
thodoxy of your political and socia
opinions. Mr. Shackleford-that,
found afterwards, was the uncle's nam
happened to be a fiery Tory, while
have the personal misfortune to be al
equally rabid Radical; but on this occa
sion 1 successfully dissembled, acquies
cling with vague generality in his de
nunciation Of my dearest private con
victions; and by the end of dinner W
had struck up quite an a~cquaintanc
with one another.
"Ruby," said the aunt to the prett
girl, as soon as dinner was over, tsshal
we take a stroll out in the gardens?"
Ruby! what a charming name really
/ wonder, now, what is her surname
And what a beautiful. graceful figure
as she rises from the table and throw
her little pale blue Indian silk scar
around her pretty shoulders! Clearly
, Ruby is a person whose acquaintance
ought to cultivate.
"Uncle won't come. of course" sal
Ruby, with a pleasant smile (wha
, teethD "The evening air would b
too much for him. You know" sh
added, looking across to me, .almos
everybody at Cannes is in the invali
!, line and mustn't stir out after sunset
Aunt and 1 are questionable enoug
to be quite strong and to go in for
stroll by moonlight"
[ 81 happen to be equally out of tn
Cannes fashion," I said, directing m
observation with great strategic skill
= rather to the aunt than to Miss Ruby i
person; ''and if you will allow me