The weekly Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 1882-188?, 1884-03-13
HIS WIFE KEEPS HENS.
TIE PRESIDENTIAL HEN HOUSE.
The Man Who X now. Where TO Flnd the
steien Nests.
from peck's Sun.l

EToL3 ftSh SuLl
There is no answer that was ever re-
ceived to a question, that contains more
sarcasm, than that received by man
who asked what business well-dressed
gentleman Of leisure was in. What
business is he in" SAYS the party ques.
toned. "Oh, believe his wife is
dressmaker." The question is Otter
asked by visitors to Fremont, Ohio
What business is ex-President Hayes
in at prefc.2" 2" and the answer invari
ably is: "His wife keeps hens. seople
who are offended to see the husband oi
dressmaker, or lady engaged in othe,.
respectable business, losfng the happA
hours away, should not confound Mr..
Hayes with any such person. The fact
of Mrs. Hayes going into the hen trade,
is no reflection upon her husband, and
be is great help to her, as he was when
she was President. Those who have
visited Fremont say they 60 not know
what the lady would do without Mr.
Hayes. He knows all of the hens by
name, and can tell at a glance which are
the best providers of eggs. There is
perhaps, no man in this country who Is
SsFp
than Mr.. Hayes. A hen cannot deceive
him. He seems to know lnstinctively
when a hen has put up a job to go off
somewhere. to a retired spot and ''steal
her nest, as the sayingis, and he watches
the hen. He does not follow the hen
directly, as some less brainy man would
do, and thus arouse the suspicious of the
deceptive fowl, but seems to go off the
other way, though his eye is upon that
hen. 1t is said to be an interesting sight
to see hen wandering off down among
| the gooseberry bushes, clucking and Dig
ging for worms, as though she had no
| thought of deceiving her benefactor, and
Mr.. Hayes walking the other way, whis-
Ting, "We'll never miss the water till the
well runs dry" and not appearing to
notice the hen. Suddenly the hen dis
| appears and goes under bush and lays
an egg. 1t is then that Mr. Hayes gives
| play to the massive brain that he has
constantly concealed about his person.
| He makes no memorandum but keeps il
his head the location of every such nest
Some men would go right to the hen
catch her in the act and accuse her tc
her face Of duplicity and double dealing
but Mr.. Hayes is not that kind of a man
When the hen comes back to the her
house he does not show any signs o
chagrin to the hen. Does not look at hel
as much as to say: 81 am onto you
scheme, old Lady," but treats her JUS
the same as any other hen, thus disarm
ing her of all suspicion that her little
plot is discovered. But the next day
after the miserable hen has laid hel
second egg and gone away, the ex-Presi
dent goes to the nest and takes one o
the eggs, and so on each day, the hen
who is not good at mathematics, think
ing she is laying up treasures where
neither moth, nor rust, nor ex-President
doth corrupt. After a hen has laid
dozen or so eggs thus, and begins t.
think of setting, she looks at the resul
Of her labors, and decides that it is th'
work of an incendiary and gives up th'
job. The ex-President is said to be on,
of the most expert hen detectives in thi
country, and Mrs. Hayes would not b.
without him for the world. He is a.
valuable, also, in feeding the hens. I
is alleged that he can make bushel 0
corn go further in flock of hens thai
any man in Ohio, and woe be to any hel
that attempts to play any hog game Oh
Rutherford B. He singles out such
hen, and while he says very little to her
the stern look on his face is enough t,
cause any hen to even wish she wer
dead. His political experience has beel
valuable to him in his present occupa
ton. Not long ago there was an ol,
rooster in the flock that claimed he wa
the boss, and tried to take the position O
leader, but Mr.. Hayes organized an eigh
to seven commission, composed of fifteel
roosters, eight of which had been edu
Gated by Mr.. Hayes, and the objection
able rooster was bounced so quick i
made his head swim. There is no sigh
that is pleasanter at Fremont than to se
Mr.. Hayes come to town with his littl
basket of eggs, and trade them off for
drawing of tea and few other simpl
needs of the household. It is always
comfort to a nation to see one of it
rulers, who is retired to private life, max
himself generally useful, and this grea
and good man will need no monument
as his name will go down to history a
tie greatest hen man the world has eve
/ seen