Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-10-22


chair that sat in front of the village editor S
desk spoke as follows:
II stopped in to-day, sir, to tell you that
do not want your paper any longer. In
some respects it is a good paper, but you
co not print enough news matter. You
should have full page of news at least. l
don, t care anything about your protective
tariff and your tariff for revenue only, or
anything of that Sort want the news
wnen take paper. I want full account
OF the murders and suicides and railroad
colllslons and divorce cases. Don't send
me the paper any longer. I'll come in and
pay you what owe you when l have sold
my corn; good day"
And then there was light step at the
door, and person wearing severe coun-
tenance and shawl came in and took the
vacant chair.
81 am very sorry" he said, in measured
tones, and with fixed and critical stare at
the end of the editors nose-"I am very
sorry to notice that you are giving in your
columns SO little attention to the cause of
Prohibition-the noble cause of Prohibi-
ton. You must rouse yourself upon this
great question and give your readers page
OF 1T weekly. | am not subscriber to
your paper, but / borrow it every week of
my neighbor and / loan him the Banner Of
Light in exchange. So you will observe
that have been one of your faithful read
ers and know just where you fall short of
making good newspaper. l will leave
you few tracts from which you should
make liberal extracts from time to time.
You will notice that this one entitled
Dash the Cup Away!' is written by my
self. You are at liberty to print it in full.
And when come across anything particu-
larly good in the columns of the Banner of
Light I'll cut it out and send it around to
you. You have a grand opportunity to
make your paper grow in circulation and
influence, and hope you will come boldly
to the front on the right course and no
longer continue to devote your valuable
space to trivial matters. By the way, have
you few exchanges that you are done
with? All, that will do; thanks; good
day."
In the door the man in the shawl passed
a person with merry twinkle in his eyes.
81 like your paper-it is irst-rate," he
said, as he dropped into the vacant chair,
''except that it does not contain humor
enough. Why don't you fill her full of
jokes and bright things by the funny fell
lows and make your readers laugh? No
body cares cent for those political edito-
rials and those scientific articles, and that
stuff about the tariff you print. That puts
melto sleep. Give me plenty of jokes to
shake mans liver up and let the tariff
take care of ITSELF That's all. Be in to
see you when I've more time; ia, ta."
The next person who took the vacant
chair had c0untenance as solemn as a
second-handed hearse. He didn't look as
if he had smiled more than once in forty
years, and the village editor took him for
an undertaken who wanted to advertise a
patent embaiming process and pay in trade.
''Sir," said the solemn man, after 81
lence that became very painful to the vii
lage editor, 81 am grieved to notice the
tone of levity that has recently pervaded
the columns of your paper, and am COM
PEELED to ask you on that account to take
my name off your list. You seem to for
get that this is world of calamity and
woe, and that spirit of levity in the press
is unseemly, and tends to draw attention
from the solemn realities of life and the
near proximity Of death. Last week you
declined to print my article entitled: RE
fle ctiong on the Grave alleging that you
did nos have roon, fer it, and then gave up
nearly column of your paper to frivolous
jokes. l do not intend to read anything
light this year. That is all have to say;
good afternoon"
The door cl sed behind the solemn man
and then softly opened again to admit a
dreamy-eyed man with a poetic brow and
a general expression that seemed to indi-
cate that he wanted something he had never
had and never expected to have.
81 merely came in to remark, he began,
I, oOJy fhn mt oh hot oro
sadly neglecting the literary department
myself, but several of my friends have call
ed my attention to it. You should by all
means run a continued story and have from
two to three good short stories in each issue.
Good stories is the thing that is wanted to
make village paper popular. Everybody
you ask will tell you that A little news
and some local matter and the marriages
and deaths should be printed of course;
but you shouldn't let anything crowd out
the stories. | dent take your paper, but
my brother-in-law does, and / borrow it of
him. l have intended for some time to
mention this matter to you, but could never
think of it when was in town before. If
you think these suggestions are of any
value to you, you may send me your paper
gratuitously for year. Allow me to bid
you good day, sir"
The dreamy-eyed man went out as softly
as sixty days note falls due, and mo-
into the vacant chair, and spoke thus in
tones that were sharp and quick:
81 don't think l shall take your paper
another year. You are not making as good
paper as you should with your oppor-
tunities. You are not giving your readers
enough local matter. Local matter should
be the chief feature of the village paper.
Everything else should be made to give way
to local matter. A story now and then
when you have plenty of room, and bit
of poetry to please the young folks who
are in love, and little news matter are all
we'll enough, bHt if you want to make a
village paper a success, you've got to let
yourself out on local matter. Give the
news of your own community and let the
big dailies take care of the rest of the
world. And, by the way, ifyou are little
short of local matter this week, you might
say that I have invented and patented the
most common-sense churn that has ever
been introduced to the people of this State.
I'll be in again in the course of a few
weeks, and will then pay you my subscrip-
tion for last year; good day."
The village editor was just sliding under
the table, a crushed and mentally demoral-
lied man, to hide his head in despair or
the waste-basket or both, when a loud
knock at the outer door brought him from
his dreams to his waking senses.
''How are you, old fellow" cried CHEEKY
voice, and Old Subscriber from up the creek
took the village editor by the hand with
hearty grasp and shook a pain in the edi-
tors shoulder-blade. And then the Old
Subscriber from up the creek seated him.
self in the vacant chair and merrily spoke
thus:
"Well, old boy, you're just giving us the
very best paper we ever had. A good sto-
ry every week, some poetry to please the
women folks, column or two of fresh hu-
NOR to make us laugh and keep our livers
running on regular schedule time, just about
enough of politics, all the news that is
worth busy mans time to read. every
local event written up in breezy,
readable style, and advertisements of all
the public sales and of the stores and shops
that offer US bargains. Yes, sir; your pa
per is good enough for me; worth twice
what you ask for it-and want to pay you
n wears SllhscrintiOn for mvsalf and here