davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21

From the Army Register for the
current year 1t is learned that we now
have $4,000 enlisted men and officers
on the active list, the number varying
from month to month on account OF
recruiting and of desertions. which
average ten day for the year round.
The number of retired officers is 435.
There are over 40 forts and posts, il
appears, so of which are not garri.
soned and there are also 20 armo.
ries, arsenals and engineer stations te
be looked after.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
Josh Billings on Infidelity.

Impudence, ingratitude, ignorance
and cowardice make up the kreed ov
infidelity.
Did you ever hear ov mans re.
aouncing Christianity on hiz death
bed, and turning infidel?
Gamblers, nor free-thinkers. have
not faith enuff in their profession to
teach it to their children.
No theist, with all his boasted bra
very, haz ever yet dared to advertize
bis unbeleaf on his tune stun.
1t il Statistical fact that the wick.
ed work harder to reach hell than the
righteous do to enter heaven.
/ notiss one thing; when a man
gifts into a tite spot he don't never
send for biz friend the devil TO get
him out.
had rather be an ideot than ar
infidel; if I am an infidel, l have
made myself one; if an ideot, 1 was
made so,
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
The Gr0und HaH.

Appleton's Cyclopedia says "the
ground hog is a rodent about Is to Is
inches long, the color varying from
blackish to grizzled above, and chestnut
red below, ETC." This may have been so
when Appleton got up his book, but dur
ing the last two centuries the ground
hog has had charge of the weather de-
partment after February 2, each year. On
the second Of this month he comes out to
browse around. If the sun Is shining the
blamed fool sees his shadow and gets
scared into duck fit and goes back into
his hole, where he remains six weeks,
because he Is afraid his shadow will
cause bad weather. And it invariably
does. On the second Of February this
year the coufounded rodent saw his shad-
ow and that is the cause Of the present
bad spell Of weather. Gen. Hazen ma,
think he is running the weather In this
country but he must consider the ground
hogs claim before he makes many boasts
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
Washington Irving.

The writings of the most honored of
American authors are at last made ac-
cessible to all readers, and In such varied
and beautiful forms as to delight the
most fastidious taste, and at prices so
low as to be an astonishment to book
buyers, and a CONSERVATION to book
sellers, of whom 3he Literary Revolu-
tion" makes no account. As examples,
we have "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow"
for three cents, "Wolfert's Roost" for
ten cents, "The Sketch Book" 90 cents,
these in paper binding but large type; IN
neat or elegant cloth or half Russia bind
ings, "His Choice Works. are published
at prices varying from 80 to IS cents, and
his complete works excepting "Life Of
Washington") in the superb CANTON
EDITION, six volumes, over 5000 pages,
choice Typography, elegant binding, for
only 81. Specimen pages or large des-
criptive catalogue are sent to any appli-
cant on request, and orders over sJ in
amount are filed 10 be paid for after ar
rival and examination, on reasonable ev-
idence of good faith being given. Ad-
dress John b. Alden, Publisher, Is VeSey
| Street, New York
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
Didn't Know What 1t Was.

A few days since stranger eating
dinner at the Globe Hotel, Centralia,
beckoned a waiter to him and said:
"Bring me glass of water.''
'Sir?' And the nonplussed waiter
looked at him curiously.
''Bring me glass of water
The waiter went out into the kitch-
en- and soon returned and said:
BEG pardon, stranger, but that
last order of yours has slipped my
memory. What is it you want?'
"I-want-a-glass--of--water
Do you understand that?''
A bright idea struck the waiter and
he rushed out and down street to the
first bar, run by Col. Whaley. The ban
keeper looked over the labels on every
bottle in the house, shook his head
and said there wasn't drop in his
stock. The waiter returned to the
gentleman and reported, whereupor
the latter roared out:
"You Internal idiot, can't you un
derstand plain English! l want {
glass of water-water to drlnk-ant
1 want it quick!''
In desperation the waiter huntet
up the proprietor and told HIM th'
story. Jack Dyer looked puzzled
and himself entered the dining room
and approached the stranger ant
said:
"Excuse me, sir, but my waiter il
a little hard of hearing. l will tax,
your order.''
II ordered glass of water-noth
ing but straight water.''
"I'm sorry" replied the landlord
'tbut you can't be accommodated il
this town. There is so little call TO
these foreign drinks here that i
doesn't pay to keep 'em. We've go
some prime Kentucky whisky, if yo
can get along on that"
And silence reigned throughout tina
hostelry, the stranger taking up hi
grip and departing at once fo
Mexico, where he struck hote
where water Is the most prominen
feature of the bill-Of-fare.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21

Queen Victoria's new book, long
looked-for volume, has at last been
given to the public. 1t is said TO be
no more than a disconnected diary OF
domestic life, rehearsing, in q style
marked by no striking dashes OF
genious. the scenes and incidents iu
her every day life, with frequent ref.
erences to the Prince Consort and
John Brown. 1t is regarded Is dis.
appointing volume. nevertheless the
first edition of 10000 copies wss ex.
hausted in a very few days.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
To Test Your Pie.y.

Drop ten dollars i'll the contribution
plate.
Care for the widow and The fatherless,
especially the fatheTless.
Allow your children 10 ''dance on your
eyebrows" and still keep your temper
Listen with patience to the pious ex-
hortations of men whom you know to he
deep-dyed swindlers.
If after these tests your piety remains
with you comfort giving and soul-sat-
isfying presence, delay not your "going
hence" a single moment longer than
necessary. The world is no place for
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21

"Ah," said the nice young man
with bangs, as the little boy let him
in the other evening. "Ah, my little
man. is your sister at homer" ayes,
she's at home, but she amt expecting
you" "And how do you know she
isn't expecting me:' "Cause I
heard her tell ma that you're toe
mean to hire horse and sleigh, aud
she didn't expect to see sight OF
you while the snow lasted" The
little boy. is now saddest when he
cite
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
Arthur" she said, "tlo you know

Arthur" she said, "tlo you know
me?''
LEO, my darling!" and then his
arms were about her.
Leo" he flung aside his mask and
gently drew off hers. LEO, you are
not grieving: Surely yon do not
doubt my love-
Not now, Arthur: but, oh, did
to-day, when every hour went by and
you did not come. Forgive me-"
He drew the girls slight form clos
er, and bending, touched the young
lips with his own.
Look up, my dearest" he said.
"Look mp and let me tell you how
much dearer you are to me tonight
when | know that you come to me
without DOVER"
The lips of Leonore qnivered as
she lifted her eyes to his face.
Arthur" she whispered, II love
You tonight as l never did before !:
and oh, l am so happy"
Suddenly merry voices rang on the
silence and Juliet, buccaneer and
an Indian princess appeared on the
balcony holding their masks in their
hands. Leonore and Arthur had re-
sumed theirs
1T is unmasking hour and l must
see your face, fair queen!" cried
Juliet.
alt is one YOU have seen often,
said Leonore. drawing off her mask.
Miss Dallas! Here tonight"
A wave of color stole to Leonore's
forehead, as she slipped her hand
through the arm of her hetrothed.
"You seemed surprised" she said,
slowly. "You have heard of my loss
of fortune, Miss We're, perhaps it was
left for me to be first to tell you that
tonight 1 am OF poor, but far richer
than the past has ever seen me-"
"And L." said the princess, laugh
ingly, lam hungry. Come, they are
| going to suDper.''
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
WHY THE CLERK GOT MAD.
The True Story Of an Unfortunate
Rupture in Pike County
Fire Department.

The County Clerk has resigned as
member of the Milford Fire Depart-
ment, of which he, together with a
fifty-foot hook-and.ladder truck and
the ex-District Attorney had long been
an important appurtcnance. He was
led to sever his connection with the
department by what ne alleges was a
piece Of deception on the part of the
ex-District Attorney, by which de-
ception his usefulness and two pam
nels of board fence were simultane-
ously impaired, and his dignity as a
citizen, man and grandfather
greatly injured.
One night Jake Schorr, the stage
driver, who was returning from a late
train at Port Jervis, came dashing
down the road with his team, and
crying Sire! Fire!" at the top of
his lungs.
Then there was hurrying to and fro
among the boys. The hook-and-lad-
der truck was housed in the Crissman
House barn The County Clerk and
the eX-District Attorney rushed for it
at once. The former seized hold of
it at the rear, while the latter handled
the tongue. The night was very
dark. The truck was quickly taken
out, and the County Clerk shouted: {:
'Now let her go, boys! Ill push
behind and you handle the tongue.
Then he added to himself: "I'n see
how much pedestrianism there is in
that District Attorney, now, you bet.
He's got to be good one if 1 don't
wind him before this run is over."
Away they went. The fire was up
town, three-quarters of mile away.
Before they had gone half a block
the County Clerk was clearing ten
feet at every step.
"Sweet Christmas!" thought he,
''what an internal gait them boys
have struck! If they keep that up,
the District Attorney'll be dead be-
fore he gets there, and I'll bet on it. -
By this time the County Clerk s
feet barely had time to touch the
ground at all. His hat was gone,
aud he swung along behind the truck
like kite-tail IN the wind.
"If he aim a runner, I'm blowed! !"
he SAID. "If they don't get to that
fire blame soon, or If he don't fall
dead, I'm goner."
A still greater burst of speed OF
the part of the truck lifted the Coun
ty Clerk off his feet, and he stuck ou
behind the machine as straight as I,
coupling-pole. An instant he hung
poised. Then he lost his grip. HI
shut his eyes and went right on. HI
rushed through space for fifty feet
Then he met board fence. He tool
two panels of it with him as he wen
through it. AS he rested in the mid
die of five-acre potato-patch h
said:
"Well, I've heard of good running
but if that don't rather knock tn
spots off anything ever done, I'm
three-legged pot!"
So, when the County Clerk Learned
that he had been following that true
with Jake Schorr's horses hitched t.
, the tongue and taking it over th
ground at twenty miles an hour, an
that the ex-District Attorney ha'
coolly ridden on it every step of tn
way to the fire, he felt hurt. He sal
, that if they wanted to run fire de
partment on such principles the
t could, but as for him, no. And h
/. resioned
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
Particular as to Shade.

A consumptive man, knowing that
his life was rapidly drawing to close.
called his wife to him and said:
Madeline, you know that ann
about to die; shall you ever think Of
me when l am gomez
"Oh, yes, darling" sobbed his
wife. Il never can forget you, and
I will ever see that your grave is kep'
green"
Eyes, my dear, know you will
| but I have one last request."
ssWhat is it, darliDg!"
/, ssDo not keep it that vulgar, low
down common green, like simpson
grave, which is so distasteful TO tn
eye. Keep it a rich, delicate, oliv'
green"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
A Mad stones Efficacy.

Robert Nunnelly. a young man employ
ed on the farm of Ewing johnson, south
OF Columbia, was bitten in the wrist
some weeks ago by mad dog, the wound
being but slight one. Fearing howev-
er, serious results, he went to Sturgeon,
where he learned there was mad stone
The stone Is owned by Joseph Fretwcll,
a farmer, living near Sturgeon. The
stone, upon being applied, adhered close
ly twice, and then dropped away, the
poison presumably all being cxtracted
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
The Family Opposed to Newspapers

The Family Opposed to Newspapers.
The man that don't take a newspaper
has been in town lately. He brought the
whole family in two-horse wagon. He
still believed that General Taylor was
President, and wanted to know IL the
"Kamschatkians" had taken Cuba, and
if so, where they had taken it. He had
sold his corn for twenty-five ceRts-the
price being seventy-flye-but upon going
to deposit the money they told him it was
mostly counterfeit. The only hard
money he had was some three-cent
pieces, and those, some sharper had "run
on him" for half dimes. His old lady
smoked "cob pipe" and would not be-
lieve that anything else could be used.
One of the boys went to = blacksmith
shop to be measured for pair of shoes,
and another mistook the market house
for church. After hanging his hat on q
meat hook he piously took a seat in a
butchers stall, and listened to an auc-
tioneer whom he took to be the preacher.
He left before the 'smeetin' was out"
and had no great opinion of the "sar-
mint"
One Of the girls took q lot of seed on.
ions to the post-ofiice to trade them for 8
letter, She had baby which she car
ried in ''sugar trough" stopping a
times to rock it on the sidewalk. WheI
it cried she stuffed its mouth with an ole
stocking and sung "Barbara Allen" TIL.
oldest boy had sold two "coon skins
and was on q "bust." When last see,
he had called for glass Of "soda ant
water" and stood eating gingerbread
and making wry faces. The shop-keepe
mistaking his meaning, had given him I
mixture of sal-soda and water, and i
tasted strongly Of soap, but she'd hear
tell of soda and water, and was bound t.
give it fair trial, puke or no puke.
Some 'stown fellow" came in and calle,
for lemonade with . "ny in it," where
upon our escaped" friend turned hi
back and quietly wiped several flies int
his drink.
Il We approached the old gentleman an
tried to get him to "subscribe," but h
would not listen to it. He was oppose
to "internal improvements" and h
thought "larnin' was a wicked invention
and culterwation nothin' but vanity an
lweHation." None Of his family eve
learned to read but one boy, and h
!. "teached school awhile and then went
studying divinity"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
POST OFFICE.


JOHN SAUNDERS Il o''iii'o'ei
DAILY MAILS.
St. Louis mail arrives at 9: 10 p. M. anu : -
o. IN. tnightb
Chicago mail arrives at 80 a. IN.
Chiergo mail closes II and p. m .
kansis City mail fby c. & A. X. R) arrives Ut
- Is d. M. closes 5 :i0p. m. n,
81 Iouis and Chicago mail wat. & A. H. h''
arrives at 3 3oa m, closes IL :: 20 p. m.
tefI.rson City mail arrives at II 30 p m.
JsGerson CITY mail closes 3: i0p- III.
Western mail arrives at "a p. IN.
Western mail closes att p. m ~
West Hartford and Perry mails arrive III oO ! :oO
a. m. Tuesdays Thursdays aud Saturdays. Ciose
santa Fe mail arrives at II m. tuesdays anu
Friday sys-departs 20 p. m. same aays. y,,s arrive
| Young's Greek and Long Braneh ihsiis asl,ns
a, 10 m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays
| Close at II 50 p. M. same days. m,
| Aodoc and iounger's mail arrives 81 ii y Ia
sstnrlays. Closes at p. m. same day.
Post 0fice opens at q. M; closes at p LII
| oSzr Money orders on all. Important points u
.be limited States, England and Ireland.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21

A southern Dakota man recently
promised his dying wife that he
would meet her in heaven. When
the fact became known that the man
was an editor, the joke was regarded
as too good to keep.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
Mr. EdIsen's Tribute to a Tramp.

As T. A. Edison and his midnight CO.
workers were coming out Of the Edison
Company's Offices In Fifth avenue, has,
night, Z. II. johnson dropped behind to
listen to the application OF a beggar
whats up?" said Mr.. Edison.
"This man wants money to buy g
drink, !" replied Mr.. johnson.
tsDid he say that--'te bug a drink"
asked the inventor
That's just it." spoke up the tramp.
Mr.. Edison drew from his trousers poek.
cts handful Of keys, some copper wire
. silver watch, and some loose change
and selecting the largest piece, a silver
dollar, tossed 1t TO the beggar.
ats that for his truth-fellingf" in
quired President Eaton.
"No," said Mr.. Edison, "it's tribut.
from an inventor 10 another. He ha,
discovered q new use for an old fact
New York Tines.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
County and City Directory
COUNTY DIRECTORY
Times of Holding Courts.

ACDRAIS CIRCUIT COURT.
Regular Terms---Fourth Monday in January
first Monday in June, and first Monday III
October.
PROBATE COURT.
Regular Terms Second Monday in March, May
September and January.
COUNTY COURT.
Regular Terms--First Monday in May, August,
November and February.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
HE GOT 1T.
An Untamed Cowboy Orders Rattle.
snake on Teast.

snake On Tsast.
A typical cowboy, fresh from the
herd, went into Eliteh's chop house
last night. The tables were all filled
with the exception of one, at which
the terror of the plains seated him.
self. AS he pulled of his hat and
united the red bandana handkerchief
from around his throat, he looked
dlsdainfulIy around.
The humble waiter brushed an inn
aginary crumb from the cloth, whisk-
ed bill Of fare from the castor and
placed it before the festive and un-
tanned youth.
"Take it away!" he snarled. ~
can't eat that. l want rattlesnake on
toast!"
''Rattlesnake on toast!" yelled the
waiter.
"Rattlesnake on toast!" repeated
the cook.
There was a slight flutter among
the guests at this strange order, and
the cowboy was scanned by many
curious eyes.
He looked little Disconnected at
having his order so promptly taken,
and glanced furtively at the front Of
the house. He saw the cooks and
| walters engaged in filing orders, and
looking as solemn as grave-yards af-
ter midnight.
He assumed nonchalant air and
picked his teeth with fork.
A cook deftly removed the skin
from pickerel, and cutting a strip
the proper shape placed it in spider
The waiter who had taken the order
came tripping back to the bold buc-
cancer of the pampas.
"Will you have your snake well
done Or rare?''
"Rare, with oodles of milk gravy
ON it,
"Gimme that snake rare-milE
gravy on the side," was hallooed tt
the cook.
"Snake rare; milk gravy-side, 81
cook shouted back.
"Say!" SAID the bovine steerer a
the waiter passed him, ''I'l take i
well done.'
"Make it well done.''
| "Make 1t well done," was answered
back.
i The lariat wrestler began to grow
nervous. The devil-may-care ex
pression had left his eyes, and soft
subdued, melancholy shade had takel
its place. He fidgeted in his chair
and seemed to be nerving himself TO
an ordeal.
/ 'Here you are sir" SAID the culi
nary Ganymede, placing a dish i
which was something nicely coiled
which looked like fried specimen o
, the genus crotalus. "Have a littl
Worcestershire sauce? Gives a yer
fine flavor. Some folks like mush
rooms with their snakes. Others pre-
fer Chill colorow. A little salad dres
, sing don't 60 bad. There's vinega
and olive oil in the castor. Will 20
have tea or coffee? Very fine snake
Caught yesterday. Fat and tender.
i When the waiter was deliverin
himself of this eulogy on the mea
the steer puncher showed his cha
back. His eyes bulged out and b
became pale around the gills.
p 81 don't think I'll eat anything.
amt hungry" he said, as he ros
9 unsteadily TO his feet and reached Il
his hat.
, "Maybe you'd prefer br'iled mo-
casin," insinuatingly suggested tt
waiter.
'No," he replied, as the ashe
t pallor deepened on his face. l ain
' bit hungry" He cast anoth'
glance at the dish he had ordered an
: made break for the door. He 70
: got to ''pay at the counter. CHE
eRne San.
% =
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
A Miner In Luck.
San Francisco Chronicle.

Before the Hale 4 Norcross fight
come on-this is tradition almost
there arrived in town a dilapidated
miner who had worked in the mine.
He was pretty badly down apparently
but he went into a brokers office, and
after being told to get out as a tramp
he said he thought good deal of
Hale and Norcross, and wanted to
invest a trifiing sum in it. Two feet,
at IT'S, were bought for him, and he
gave the certificate to the broker, say
ing that he was going down to Mexico
prospecting, and he would like to
leave it behind to be dealt with as the
broker saw fit. He was not heard of
for months. Hale & Norcross was
up to $l2 900 foot. One morning
the broker found the dilapidated mi
ner on his doorstep, when he came
down to business. The miner rose
and said:
"Well, Pm here. l thought I'd
come and see you. 1 s'pose there
amt nothing O. that Hale & Norcross.
/ guess you must a sold it out, but l
am down an l amt got a cent. May
be you'd lend me four bits to get a
bit of breakfast"
1.-THE broker looked at him and
gave him SIS to go and get bath and
breakfast and presently he returned.
"Sit down and wait minute. I'll
make up your account presently"
He left the dilapidated man on the
edge of chair. He came back with
a check and sent his clerk down to
the bank. A clerk returned with o
big bag of gold. The poor devil
watched the proceedings with a mis-.
cradle indifference. The gold was
all stacked upon the counter.
"Look here. I've sold your two
feet of Hale & Norcross for S25, ,O0C
and here's your money"
The miner fell on the floor anG
cried like baby. He could not
read or write and had no idea wha
the market was. He sent draft ot
900 to his mother. The broker
bought for him $4,000 worth o.
registered bonds, and gave him So,
400 in coin, which he spent in three
days. Two bunko men brought hin
in drunk and tried to get his bonds
bat the broker drove them out, ane
when the man got sober he came ant
had the bonds sewed into his clothe
and was dispatched east. He ha
, never been heard of since,
Mexico weekly ledger., 1884-02-21
The Great Fiosd.

For more than ten days the Ohio river
and its tributaries have been flooding
their valleys, the water rising higher each
day until the disasters hare become ap-
pailing and thousands Of people in Ohio,
West Virginia, Kentucky, and Indiana
have been forced to abandon their homes
and property and depend upon public
charity for their daily bread.
On Tuesday the river at Cincinnati
registered 70 feet 10 above low water
mark and was still rising, at the rate Of
half an inch an hour. The river spreads
out i've and six miles wide flooding ey-
cry town on Its banks, and many Of the
smaller towns consisting OF frame houses
have been destroyed. Hundreds of
houses have been swept from their foun-
dations and carried into the swift whirl
Of ths current, where they were soon
torn to pieces.
At Lawrenceburg, Ind, over 1000 peo-
pie have been driven from home and
about 1900 are dependent on charity for
food.
Cattletsburg, KY, Is q ruined town.
Over 200 are homeless at Maysville, Ky.
Two-thirds Of Ripley, Ohio, is under
water and there Is great suffering for
food. There is also great distress at
Portsmouth. At Pomroy nine-tenths of
the town is under water, l5o houses have
been swept from their foundations, and
twenty-five have gone down the river.
On Tuesday the water stood Is inches on
on the second floor Of the principal hotel.
At Jeffersonville, Indiana, 5000 people
are homeless. At Racine 1o5 houses
were swept away, and at Middleport all
the merchants lost their goods.
But we have not space even to mention
the losses and suffering at every town
and city on the river from Pittsburg to
Cairo. Cincinnati, whose streets are
flooded for several blocks from the river,
is making an effort to care for her OWE
sufferers, but all other places need public
aid. Gov. Hoadley by proclamation, the
Masons, Odd Fellows, Knights Of Honor,
and many churches call upon the country
to feed the starving inhabitants Of these
once prosperous and beautiful towns
Congress has appropriated $500, 900 TO,
food. and from all sides subscriptions o.
money or provisions are sent in. Many
places are entirely cut off from commu-
nication with the rest Of the world, and
necessities can be learned only when re.
lief boats visit them.-EXchange.