davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
4 Frolicsnme Mnrnnis

The Marquis of Waterford, when
young was full of hilarity and liked
doing extraordinary actions. His
sense of the ludicrous was almost.
overpowering; so he never missed an
opportunity of having a good laugh
or lark at somebody, or With sorle-
thing.
One day doctor had stopped in
Piccadilly to visit a patent, leaving
his cabriolet in charge of a lad. The
marquis came along, saw the doctors
How dye do, /" and an old woman
behind it with a barrowful of apples
The latter be asked the price Of, to
which the owner thinking he was
only joking, replied, Get along wild
yer impertinence. Ye have little to do
thisk O making fun of a poor lone
widder" But his lordship insisted ON
her naming price, which she did,
mentioning five pounds, sum which
would have purchased al least half q
a dozen barrows like hers and their
contents, when, TO her surprise, she
had the money put into her hand.
His lordship then gave the lad half a
crown, and, getting a piece OF cord,
fastened the barrow securely to the
back of the vehicle, aud calmly wait
ed events.
Presently the doctor came out, re-
warded the boy, got in, gave his horse
a flip of the whip, and started off
down Piccadilly. 1t was in the days
when Macadam was young, and the
roads were less level than they are
now, so at every bound over the high
way out flew a score or two of apples.
Boys hurrahed, scrambled, and fought
for the pippins that strcwed the
ground and a mob followed behind
yelling out, Keep the ball rolling, old
man Y whilst the doctor, in blissful
ignorance of the commotion his pro
gress caused, drove on steadily. lie
certainly looked back, but the barrow
was tied too closely to his own con
veyance for him to sec it, and it was
not until the apple cart cast wheel
that he ascertained what all the row
was about
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
CRIME.

SEVEN burglars escaped Monday night
from the 0anville (lll) Jail, but three of
them were captured. Tbs fugitives are
said TO be desperate men.
WILLIAM II. MCLEAN, Of New Albany9
Ind, was sand-bagged on street in
Bloomington, H., on Monday night,
and robbed Of 500 and a gold watch.
A REGISTERED mail package contain
ing $40. 500 in bonds, from New York
TO East Hampton, Conn, was rifled
Monday night between New Haven and
the point of designation. The postal
detective service is at work on the case
w. w. CHATHELL, of Muncie Ind,
member of the State Fair Board, IS mis-
sing. He had a considerable amount Of
money ON his person, and there are fears
Of foul play
lT is charged that the assignment Of
Emil Dalheimer 81 Co., the Cincinnati
jewellers, is a deliberate swindle, and
that they have been receiving goods o
credit from Boston and Attleborough
Mass. and selling them IN the West 10
per cent below cost.
IT has been ascertained that the Blu
chauans, brothers, the insolvent distil-
lers of louisville, are in Canada. The
affairs of the firm are becoming more
mixed, aRd it is feared will reach the
ChaHCeGy Court for settlement.
THREE men have been arrested at To
peka, kas., on suspicion Of wreckmg
the Santa Fe train near Emporia, last
Sunday, Five thousand dollars reward
for the wreckers has been offered by the
railway company and $500 by the State
of Kansas
AT Newayago. Mich, John Armstrong
found a border George Bates, in his
wife'5 room Sunday night, aud selling
an AK, rushed in. The wife Aeld Arm
strong while her pdramCur went in
search o. pistol, but le broke from
her grasp, and killed her with the AK.
Fastening down stairs, he met Bates
ascending, and slew him with one blow.
Armstrong then surrendered to the
authorities.
AN Emperia, Ks. dispatch Of the Sth
says early Sunday morning, at q point
ten miles west Of here am attempt was
made to rob tine Santa Fe passenger
train. The robbers evidently intended
to ditch the train. TIE rails had been
unspiked, but vert not removed when
the passenger train came along Tho
tram was running al such a rate of speed
that IL passed safely over the rails
When the robbers saw the train flying
by with its rich booty they evidently
became enraged, and fired a voley
after il, the bullets striking the cars in
several places Fortunately no one was
hurt, but following the passenger came
a freight which was ditched, and the
Arema" killed and the engineer seriously
injured.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
LATEST TELEGRAMS.
GENERAL NOTES.

THE decrease in the public debt dur
ing September was S12 LAG. O30; decrease
since June 30, 1894, $24,532, lsl. .
THE brotherhood of Locomotive En-
giueers, Tuesday, at sau Francisco, re-
elected f. S. Ingraham First Grand
Engineer.
j. wv. RoLgNTHAM e Co.. clothing
manufacturers 80 Rochester, N. y,
made an assignment Monday, giving
( preferences for 500, 900.
THE heat is so excessive at Savannah,
Ga. that dock laborers are unable TO
work at loading vessels One death
occurred Tuesday from sunstroke.
In the Georgia election, Wednesday,
less than oye-third Of the vote OF the
state was pollcd. There was no oppo-
sitisn to the democratic ticket.
BY order OF court, the effects Of the
ST. Louis Malleable Iron Company were
turned over 10 its officers Monday
morning, and work will be immediately
resumed.
THE Hampden Mutual Fire Insurance
COMPANY. of Springfield, Mass, has re-
solved to wind up and 20 out Of busi-
ness. It's policy-holders viii lose moth
ing.
SMALLPOX, supposed to have been
brought by emjgrants, is spreading
rapidly in the vicinity eff BrOOkins ID.
In. -Four deaths have occurred already.
II. r. WHTEHoUsE, carpets and dry
good at Clinton, lowe, made an assign
ment Thursday, with liabilities OF $780,
0e0 and assets of between $50, 600 and
100000
GENERAL JOHN 3. MURRAY, Of Seneca
Falls, ~ Y d, died suddenly Thursday Of
apoplexy. General MHrray, who was a
leader Of the g. and Army Of the Repua-
lie organization, was the origin ator Of
Decoration Day"
OWING to the withdrawal Of large
sums the Mechanics Bank at Altoona,
Pa, suspended Tuesday. The other
banks are solid and wen prepared for
an anticipated ruR to-day.
THE American Board of Commission
ers for Foreign Missions began its 10Th
annual meeting Monday at Columbus,
Ohio. The reports showed that more
than 400 missionaries are in active ser
vice, and that the years receipts reach
nearly 100000.
THE prime Meridian Conference, with
ferty-two countries, assembled at Wash
ington Wednesday, being welcomed by
Secretary Frelinghuyseu, who suggested
that Count Lewenhaupt, Swedish mem
Der, be made temporary chairman.
Count Lewenhaupt on taking the chair
named Admiral G.. X. 7. Dodgers as per-
manent chairman, who was 50 chosen.
The election Of vice presidents, secre-
tafies, and the choice of language in
which the proceedings should be printed
was made Thursday.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
4 CARGO or SKELETONS.
Five Hundred and Twenty-Five Tons
of Bones.
Boston Transcript

A cargo of skeletons has been re-
Gently received by fertilizer estab-
lishment in Philadelphia from Texas.
II was an interesting load on account
of the fact that the bones represented
such a variety of animals and had so
many complete skeietons; but a special
interest of rather loathsepe and
horrible sort centers In the clrcum-
stance that among the skeletons of the
animals are many OF Ahe most inter
esiing Of animals-man. In the 522
tons of bones which the New Haven
schooner brought from Galveston, it
is estimated there were at least half a
million animals represented. The
wild animals furnished the greater
share, indicating, as did other evil
dences, that the collection was most
ly made on the broad plains and prai-
RES of that state. There were carcasses
of buffalo by the Hundred; elks, with
their fine antiers and sometimes thu
head. which were taken off as orna-
ments; thousands of deer of all sizes,
antelopes, horses, cows, goats, sheep,
panthers, various small animals, alll-
gators from the bayous, and even tae
skeletons of snakes. The bones were
white from long exposure to the sun
Some had evidently persisted In prai-
RE fires, and their skeletons were
partly charred. More had no doubt
persisted from hunger, want OF water,
and similar causes, and some had been
shot. The men on board the schooner
say the human skeletons were numer-
GUS, and the boilers and grinders at
the bone mill laughed and said
" There were always some of them,
but that didn't matter" Some of the
human skeletons were intact, skull
and all, but most Of these W ere broken
during the loading and unloading.
There were a few skeletons that were
recognized as women. Portions OF
one skull and other parts of skeletons
were scattered as if by bullets, and nc
doubt there were on board and are
now being made INTO bone dust, evi
&ences of manslaughter, murder, and
desperate deeds of border rutiianism
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
LamYers and SoIdiers.

When Frederick the Great issued
his new code of laws, he forbade that
more than four lawyers should
practice in Berlin or in any
part of his kingdom. In consequence
many clever men lost their lucrative
posts and splendid incomes. The
''disestablished and disendowed" .ac-
yers thereupon drew up petition to
the king, in which, after reciting thai
his maiestys act had reduced them to
beggars, they asked him to find them
some further employment IN lieu Of
that they had lost
The kings reply was laconic, and
characteristic of the man;
Such Of you as are tall enough for
grenadiers may enlist as common
soldiers, and those who are not tall
enough for common soldiers shall be
received as drummers and fifcrs.
Frederick.
The lawyers murmured no more,
but gave up their case as lost.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
How the VIII was Settled.

An Arab died leaving all his proper
ty to his three sons. The whole Of
the estate, real and personal, consisted
of seventeen elephants. To his eldest
son he left half, to the second son one
third, and to the youngest oue-Iinth,
and all were to take their share as soon
after his burial as possible.
The eldest son proceeded to take his
half, but found to do so would entail
the necessity of killing one, as his
half would be eight elephant and half
of another
The brothers consulted as to what
they should do, and deciCkd to call up
on their uncle, who lived in an ada
cent village.
Upon explaining their dilemma, the
uncle said he would return with them
and see what could be done. He &C
cordinglv ordered his servant 10 pre-
pare his elephant for the journey, as,
being very old man, he always
rode.
On arriving at their abode, he babe
his nephews show him where the
seventeen elephants which were TO be
divided were kept. On seeing them,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
A Letter'irom PurgatOry.
"reminiscences Of a Soldier"

A rather amusing story was told me
some time ago by an old lady, who
had an ancient servant who had
lived with her many years named Ann
Brady. One day Ann came to her
mistress in the parlor crying and roar
ing.
!" Now amt / the unfortunate
womanl Och, what will l do, at all,
at aha"
whats the matter, Annl" said her
mistress.
"Och, ma'am,' replied Ann, the
postman's outside, and he's got a let
ter for me from purgatory, and
know it's from my ould mother, who S
been there this tin years, And it's all
about nae not paying for the masses 1
said | would. Ochonel but I'm the
miserable woman y
On her mistress going out she found
the postman in fit of laughter, with
a letter directed to 'Ann Grady,
from the Dead Letter Office" Moth
ing could induce Ann to touch it, the
Dead to her meaning purgatory,
and nothing else, and her mistress
was obliged TO open the letter for her,
and found it was one Ann had written
to nephew in Glare, but who had
gone to America, and consequently
the letter had been returned.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
The Wit of JekyII.

Once Erskine. whose irritable con-
stitution subjected him at times to the
attacks of hypochondria, with lach-
rymose visage addressed Jekyll in the
Court of Kings Bench complaining
that he had a severe pain in his
bowels, aud ne had tried re medy after
remedy without obtaining relief
"a pain your bowels" exclaimed
Jekyll-"a pain in your bowels Get
yourself made Attorney General,
Erskine, and then you will have no
bowels at allw
A Welsh judge, famous both for his
neglect of personal cleanliness and his
Unsuitable desire Of place, was once adj
dressed by Mr. Jekyll:
my dear sir, as you have asked the
minister for everything else, why have
you never asked him for piece OF
soap and a nail brushp
An attorney named Else, rather d.
minutlve in his stature, and not par
ticularly respectable in his character,
once naet Mr.. Jekyll
Sir said he, Il hear you have
called me a pettifogging scoundrel.
Have you done SO, sir2' !.
Sir replied Jekyll, with a look OF
contempt, 4 never said you were a
pettifogger or a scouudrel, but SAID
that you were little Else! "
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
Needless Alarm.

One morning as Halevy was filling
in the score Of his opera "Tbe Nous
quetaires de la Refine, he heard some
one singing in the yard one of the
passages Of his new work. Surprised
at first, he listened to make sure that
the air was really his own; then, pass
ing from establishment to despair, he
exclaimed.
! am a ruined mani Has it come
to this, that this song, which l be-
lieved to be Of my own composing, is,
after all, only am echo, a Renaissance
of some other work2 l have now no
ideas of my OWL merely copyn
Then reaectiAg himself, he inquired
after the singer, whose shrill voice
had put him into such a furry, and
finding il was a painter, busy white
washing the front of The house, he
sent for.him, and anxiously question
ed him as to the origin of the air he
had been singing.
ma foin replied the decorative
artist, ." it is what I remember of an
opera they were rehearsing at the
Opera Comique the other day while
we wsre re-decorating the interior of
the house.
This was the very opera which the
master was composing. We won't
swear that in his excess of Joy he did
not embrace the decorative artist.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
The Colonies Coffee Mill.

In 1861, after the retreat from Bull
Run, the 3rd Michigan Infantry went
into camp at Hunters Place, and a
middle-aged darkey came into camp
as a runaway. Colonel Mcconnell
seized upon him for a cook, and after
instructions Joe was sent to the col
onel's kitchen. His first meal was
dinner, and about the time for it to
appear he walked into the colonel's
quarters, made a very low bow, and
said;
Kernel, Use not quite up to de
situation iist yit. You tole me to
bake beans, didn't youG"
Il did.
Very well, sab; de beans am
baked. You tole me fry ham, didn't
your
Il did"
Very well, sab; the ham am
fried. Now, did you say I war to
bile de coffee in de kernel, Or or"
"No, no. Who ever heard of max
ing coffee that way2"
well, dats what I fought; but,
kernel. it am an awful slow job for
ono niger to crack all dat coffee
tween his teef, an dinners gwine
to be half an hour late shuah's yer
born y
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16

ton has been presented to the treasury
department. A few days ago a party
of eighty-six Cinnamon arrived at San
Francisco. Some of them VINO had for
merly resided in the United States were
provided with certificates prescribed by
the act Of 1882. but none of them had
the certificates required by the supple
mentary act of 1884. They were not per-
mitted to land, as the United States
courts in California recently decided
Chinese can be allowed TO land only on
the production Of evidence required by
law, and that secondary evidence can
not be accepted in such cases. The
treasury department was appealed to
for relief. The secretary has, however,
decided not to interfere in the matter,
on the ground that it is question to be
settled by the courts.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16

were badly defeated by the French,
leaving 1000 dead on the field. After
ar engagement lasting five hours, Gen
eral Ncgrier's column defeated Chinese
force Of 6 600 in the village of KEEP.
IN the Russian city OF Kamischen,
the entire community has been involy-
ed in bankruptcy and restitution by the
wrecking Of the principal local bank
by its raecally managers.
GOOD crops but ruihously low prices
are Che rule in Ireland this season, and
distress is anticipated this coming win
ter among those of the farm-tenants
who are in debr to their landlords.
AT Essag, Austria, Monday, fourteen
childreE, while playing in boat, on
the river brave, capsized it ana all
were dro wned.
PREMIER GLADSTONE has issued a cir
cular notifying his supporters to attend
the opening of Parliament, as he pro-
poses At the earliest moment to submit
important and pressing business.
THE first portion of the British ex-
petition up the Nile, en- route to the
Soudan, has passed the first cataract.
The camel corps is encamped at the
Pyramids waiting for orders to advance.
THROUGH the mediation of Queen
Victoria and the Prince of Wales, a
compromise upon the franchise and
redistribution bill has been arranged
between Premier Gladstone and the
Marquis of Salisbury.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
FOREIGN

THE Pope has announced his inten.
ton of making the Lateran Palaces a
cholera hospital should the necessity
arise for such action.
THE French and the Chinese had a
battle in Tonquin Monday. The Chinese
We're defeated with loss Of 1000
men.
THE Cars Government has closed up
the University of KieT and arrested
1863 of It's students as Nihilistjc conspira-
tors.
Dietrich IIcHrENEERG & Co, mer-
chants of Berlin. have failed Rudolph
LichIenberg "a member of the firm, Is
missing.
LATEST reports from the recent terrific
cyclone at Catania, in the Island If
Sicily, are TO the effect that twenty
sevea persons were killed, 400 injured,
and tlat property 70 the amount of
100000 lire about 100000 was de-
stroyed.
Ii Tonquin last Monday the Chinese
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16

he dismounted, and turned his own
elephant in amongst the others.
He then. said to the eldest, Take
your half. and he took nine; and ia
the second, take your third, and
he took six; and TO the youngest
Take your ninth and ne took two
The uncle then mounted his own
elephant and returned home. Thus
the elephants were divided according
TO the will, vet each had more than
his share, and the legatees being per
fectly satisfied with the arrangement.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
Diaz Declared President.
clty Of Mexieo. Two RepubIIcs.


The galleries of the house of cong
ress were thrown open at 3 p NJ
yesterday to the public. AT $3.50 p.
NJ. the roll was called and 1873 N EN-
beers of congress responded to their
names. After the roll-call secretary
Mitchell read the report in which was
noted that Citizen Porfiro Diaz had
on July 10 received an absolute ma
iority of the electoral votes, emitting
him to the presidency Of the United
States of Mexico This record was
put to vote, and being carried was
placed upon the minutes of congress,
and day appointed to make the ban
do nacional, or official edict. Elec-
trio wires had been stretched to several
parts of the city, and simultaneously
with the declaration of congress the
bells rang and bands played in the
Alameda and Zocalo. La the Almeda
an immense mass meeting was held
under the auspices of the Melchor
Ocalnpo club. a wire was connected
with their stand, and the first intima-
ton had of the event by the people of
that vicinity was the music by the
band engaged by the club. Gen, Diaz,
Yesterday afternoon and evening was
visited by hundreds Of friends anxious
to congratulate him.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
WASHINGTON.

ANOTHER session of the prime merid-
ian cor ference will be held Saturday.
The American delegates express the
opinion that if the French representa-.
tives continue their ops osition to the
proposed prime meridian of Greenwich
the conference will adopt the majority
resolution recommending that meridian.
and leave he French delegates to do
what they please.
ANOTHER phase of the Chinese ques-
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
Love and Linen.

On Sunday night a young doctor of
Newton Centre escorted the daughter
of prominent and wealthy citizen to
church. The father of the girl had
forbidden her to keep the young mans
company. When church was out the
father lay in wait behind a tree for
his daughters companion, and jump
ed out upon hIn as he passed. lie
seized the young man by the throat
and tore his collar off and the bosom
out of his shirt. The old gentleman
then ran away. The doctor went on
home with the young lady as though
nothing had happened. When she
entered the house her fsther took her
to the parlor and pointed to the doc
TORS shirt bosom which he had tackled
on the wall.
81 intend to have it framed" he
said
On Monday the doctor saw the old
gentleman passing his Office. The
story of the shirt bosom was already
known about the village. The young
man rushed out, dragged his Sunday
night assailant into his Office, and
compelled him to take off his white
shirt. Attacking to it this placard,
A contribution from a coward, he
fastened the garment to a pole
and hung it out of his office window
Since then the father of the young
lady has apologized TO the doctor, and
invited him to call on his daughter as
often as he pleases. The doctor has
accepted the apology, and it will not
surprise the village if he becomes the
gentleman's son-in-law.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
The Collegiate Filtration.

The college man-freshman, sophie
more, or whatever he may be-has
finished his summer Longing and has
got down to work and lecturers once
more, says a Philadelphia Bulletin
Q ossiper; but try as he will, a vision
of certain pretty face and neat figure
will steal in between him and the
pages of his book, and he finds him
self in memory back at the seaside,
strOlling on the sands with this fair
one gazing dpinto his eyes; or playing
at tennis and serving her easy balls
that she can not fail to get back over
the net; or rowing her over the placid
waters of the trse-bordered lake and
whispering words that make the color
come and 20 in her cheeks. The sum
mer Irritation has, after all, been for
him more than a mere amusement, as
is evidenced by the languishing looks
he casts at her as he sits by her side at
the theater, and the tenderness and
solicitude he evinces as he places her
wrap about her shoulders when the
play is over. He is young and suscep-
tible, and there are ten chances to one
that he will, ere long, ask the young
woman to become his wife, though as
yet he is nothing more than a school
boy, and has no more idea how to
earn living than the college porter
has how to translate Horace. Before
graduation day comes, however, the
engagement will have been broken.
He will have gone through this ex-
perience several times, probably, and
will then, though still young, be able
te talk in quite a wordly-wise manner
to his bachelor friends about the ro-
mances of his early youth.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-10-16
-----------af ~.
AKind of Lethacgy

Sometimes fastens upon the kidneys and bladder,
rendering them torpid and inactive Delay IN
restoring their energy is fatal alike to their IN
dividuai health and the general waltare or the
81 stem. 10 arouse them from a state OF mac
tion Hostetter's stomach Bitters is about the
safest and most effective renal tonic that can be
used II does not over stimulate them like the
alcoholic lcitant Of commerce It never dis
orders bt,s invigorates and regulates the
stomach. and is is an incomparahly tine laxative.
The changes it effects are not abrupt and violent
hut natural easy and progressive II contains no
ingredint bv which hurttul after consequences
can ~ produced and its genial influence for good
is soon felt in improved appite and sound
repOse Fever ard ague rheumatism, avs
pepsia, constipation. and other ailments, aiso
yield To IT,