The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-06-26
HUMOR.

THE disease of the meter-gas trick
fever.-OA City Derrick.
NOBLE sentiment by q Washington
department clerk: "Let me but draw
the nations salary, and / care not who
does It's work.-Boston Globe.
I'm very matter Of fact" she cried.
10 handsome bachelor az her side
IAN angel without wings.
Oh. Certainly yes the wretch replied.
.For IL is acknowledged far and vide
That facts are stubborn things
THERE is something heroic in silent
suffering. Though q man with layer
of active and energetic mustard on his
chest rarely thinks of this.-Rocktdnd
Courier Gazette.
sYoUR husband is staid man, now,
is he not?" asked O former schoolmate
of her friend, who had married man
rather noted for his fast habits. Il
think So" was the reply; "he staid out
very late last night"
NEVER say to IN Questionable &C
ouaintance: "Come In and see me
some time" Some time means any
time, and he may come when you least
expect him. 1t is better to name some
time then you can take the precaution
to be out when he calls.-BoSton
Transcript.
"YoU ought to be very rich man,
said busy working man to q lubberly
loafer, who sat ON q dry-goods box
whistling "Peek-a-Boo, and carving his
initials in the soft pine wood. why
So" inquired the whistler. Because,
you know time is money, and you have
such tremendous surplus of time. -
Chattanooga Peoples Paper.
A YOUNG lady can have District
Telegraph boy wait for her at the church
door and carry her prayer-book homo
on Sunday mornings. She need not
depend upon the regulation church
door dude, who is apt to sleep on his
watch, and allow flies to go down his
throat while his mouth is open.-NeU
Orleans Picayu'ae.
A BISMARCK young man told an old
maid she was "matchless woman,
and she smiled SO sweetly over the COM
pliment that her mouth stretched to its
utmost capacity. After lie had gone,
it occurred to her that there was an
other meaning to the expression, and
the next time that young man calls
there will be sckening tragedy to
record. -Bismdrck Tribune.
IT does look suspicious when drug
firm gives q package of cucumber seed
with every dimes worth of goods
bought. But then we mustn't Judge OF
mans motive, no matter how enter
prising he may be to increase his trade.
Chromos go with dry goods, why not
cucumber seeds with drugs? These
seeds will bear fruit in trade in q few
weeks.-Peck's Sun.
/" o CARRY me. them cried the fair coquette,
To the land where never I've journeyed yet
To that shore
Where love IL lasting, I'd change unknown,
And man Is faithful to one alone
Evermore.
Go seek that land for a year and day:
At the end OF the TIM you'll be still far away,
Pretty maid
IT'S country unlett red in map or in chart,
Ills a country that does not exist, sweetheart.
I'm afraid
"WHY do you keep getting up and
going out between the acts" asked an
unsophisticated country maiden of
ing the theater. "Well, my dear coz,
was his reply. II don't mind telling you
that l am trying to combine the de-
lights of the evening dram and the
evening drama. - burlington Free
Press.
"DEUcED pretty girl, that" said
Clinker to Plumper. "Ya-as, and
fine catch for somebody" "Why, has
she got money?' "Her pa has coolies
of it." How do you know that? You
can't be sure of the worth of q man
nowadays. People may think him rich
when he is heavily in debt" "Oh, but
there's no doubt about that girls pa.
He's solid. He's just made an assign
ment, with unlimited Liabilities and
nominal assets. THE Peoples Paper.