The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-01-16
TIE KINDLY JEST.


the repartee--it is usually u slap in the
face.
A few years ago, the country pos
sessed a great master OF repartee, MIR
Douglas Jerrold. Specimens Of his
style still survive in the memory of his
cotemporaries.
A mediocre writer, employed on the
same subject as himself, says: you
know, Jerrold, you and / are rowing in
the same boat
Yes, replied the wit, ''but not with
the same souls"
Another inferior artist is eating soup
at the Garrick Club. He praises 1t to
JesTold, and tells him it was calf-tail
soup. Aye, " says Jerrold, extremes
meet
These are strong specimens, but take
milder ones; still the aggressive char
acter is there.
Pecuniary calamity overlook friend
o! Mr.. Edmund Burke. Another friend
Wcat to console him, and, like Jobs
| comforters. told him 1t was ali his own
fault "How could you be so unfeel-
ingP' asked Mr. Burke, when he heard
of it.
"Unfeeling. sirn' says the other.
why, wentto him directly. and poured
oil into his wounds. -
l. '.Oil of yitriol, says the statesman
OF course need not say that thou
sand examples of the kind are to be
found in literature.
The witty Noltaire receded with ad-
mirable dexterity from good nature into
wit He permitted himself to praise
same gentleman rather warmly. His
nearer said This is very good of you,
for he doesn't speak of you with any re-
| spect; quite the reverse"
AIR said Voltaire, "hunlanu7n est
| errare;" probably we are both of US
mistaken"
An observer of witty men and their
savings summed the matter up as fol-
lows: DiSeur lie bon-nsots, md1lrais car
0c ERE.
Even where the wit is without per-
sOnality, il does not always lose its ag-
gressive character. See how the per-
sonages in the school for Scandal
explain why wit and good-nature are 50
seldom united. 1t is not bitter. but still
it is biting.
Now go from this to the practical
Joke which is always an attempt at hui
NOR. Dissect the practical joke. Egot-
ism and a poverty Of real wit tempt
some dull fellow to inflict moderate
pain upon another, keeping well out OF
it himself; and his being out of it, and
the other being in it, makes him fee
humorous; and this really fayors the
narrow theory of Hobbies of Malmesbury
that daughter arises from a-glorying in
ourselves at some superiority over Oul
neighbors." The dull humorist in this
style chips bristles and strews them il
his friend bed, or makes him up wha
is called an appie-pie bed-a wonderful
corruption OF cap-a-pie. Meantime hi
bed IS all right, and his heart reioices
Cne of these humorists put skeleton
into a young lady's bed, down il
Somersetshire, then retired softly ant
awaited the result. with the idiotit
chuckle of q dull dog who has strayet
: into humor. The result was that thu
, lady fell screaming to the floor; wa
taken up insane, and ended her days il
a mad-house. Another such humoris
buttoned down the matches of a small
trading-vessel in the Thames. Smok'
was created somehow in the hold Il for
oct by what cause); the crew, cons st
inr of four poor wret ;hes, tried in vail
, | to escape. Their very cries We're stitied
and the next day their smoking corpse
were recovered, grim monuments of
STUPID fellow hum0r.
Solomon has observed that Natur
| contains tremendous animals. At tn
head of the list he places a couple, viz.
O bear robbed of her whelps and an il
ritated fool. Leaving these two terribl
creatures to figure cheek by jowl in til
sacred page, beg the third place for
n dull man or woman trying to be witty
), Now all this is not absolutely neces
- sarv. 1t is more difficult to say witt
and kindly things than witty and i'll
nntured things. Yet it is within tn
t. power of the human understanding.
A young lady walking in her garde
t. with sydney Smith, pointed out to hir
an everlasting pea, reported to blossol
o beautifully, ''but," she said, ''we hav
D. never been able to bring il to perfet
ton" Then" said the kindly wi
''lct me bring Perfection to the pea,
and so led her by the hand to a close
&c inspection of the flower.
oil Coulon, q famous mimic of Lou
ee XIV. s time, took off the King as well {
ed his subjects The King heard of it, an
II, insisted on seeing the imitation. Il
Ii was not offended at it, and gave COulo
g, fine diamond pin. Couion looks
I'D t. pm and says Coming to me tn
as oaght to be paste; but coming fro
Your Majesty, it IS naturally a iii
mond" Is the clement OF "wit eXtil
4, euished here by the COOL natureP
b. srow not.
Frederick the Great disbelieyed
At physicians, and said that invalids d
" oftener of their remedies than of the
maladies; and, as the lancet WIS rife
his day, probably he was not very I;
wrong. However, he fell sick, and ii
2 weakness of his body, suppose, a
Il fected his mind, so he sent for phys
elan, DIR. Zimmerman. but at sight
him his theory revived. and his habitu
good manners led him to say to lin
hermann, by way of ercetn 'NoN
doctor, I'll be bound to say you ha'
sent many honest fellow unde
q ground Zimmerman replied, wit
~ out hes.tat' on: ''No5 so many as Yo
Majesty-nor with 50. much credit
L. myself"
Isn't that wit, if you please? Ay
I and of a very high order. But it
| even possible to convert the practlc
4 joke to amiability, and to substitute t
\ milk of human kindness, where hitht
4 to men have dealt in adulterated viz
q gar. And of this beg to offer an G
4 ample.
4 A certain German nobleman provid
/ his son with tutor; who was to atte
> closely to him at all hours and impro
, his mind This tutor, it seems, took
Tor his example certain predecessor
pa his, who used to coach young Cyrus
re- doors and out. And both these tuto
lay each in his own country and his oN
Id generation, had the brains to see tt
i to educate young fellow you must I
porolv cot him tasks to learn indOO