Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-05-08
SHORTY RYERsONs TAME BEAR
Painful Result of FOrgeIfulness on
the Part of Sol. the Landlord.

The part of Sol, the Landlord.
"a good many folks thinks, when
they see Shorty Ryerson for the fus'
time. that some time or other he must
ha' been layin' in the saw mill whar
the log had orter ben, with the mill
a-goin' full split; but that amt it, :"
said old Sol. landlord Of the tavern at
Soils Ridge Shorty Ryerson had just
gone out. There was nothing re-
markable about his appearance except
that he was less than five feet high,
and that every square inch of one
side of his face was a scar.
mo, that want it, said old Sol.
'Ye see, goin' onter five year ago I
hal tame bar, an KEEP him chained
to that pole out thar in the road. HIM
an Shorty was p'ticklar good friends,
an when Shorty want dom nothin',
which was giner'ly from daylight one
mornin' till daylight next mornin',
countin' Sundays, ne war out thar
foolin' with that bar. They'd cuddle
down together an 90 to sleep, Shorty
an the bar would, jes' as nat'ral 'zif
they war both bars, and it got so that
when Shorty happen'd to be away fur
ten minutes the bar ID git so Uneasy
that ye could hear him heller like
baby all round the Ridge. Shorty
larn't the bar a heap o. smart tricks,
an business was s'pended half the
time, an the folks all out a-waitin'
him putin the bar through what he
knowd.
The thing that tickled him most
was the boXin' matches Shorty an the
bard give Shorty had larnt that bar
SO he'd stan up an spar with him ez
nat'ral ez life, and / swan if 'twa'n'ta
sight good fur a lifetime to see 'em
stan than an bat away at one another
ez if they was a-fghtin' fur money
an the stakes was up. Mother thing
that usety take the town down was
the way that bard walk into the
tavern with Shorty, whenever any
one invited him to take sumpin', an
STAN thar long side O. him an take
MS glass o rum ez good ez the rest on
'em. That bar war q harvest fur
Shorty, fur everybody that d come
along d hat to call Shorty an Solo
mon-Shorty named the bar Solomon
cause he know'd so terrible much
they'd all call Shorty an Solomon in
to hev sumpin' Conscience was that
both Shorty an the bar had their
wuthless skins full pootty much ali
the time. They gat to be the hardest
drinkers on the Ridge, an [ ustey say
that the fust think anybody know'd
they'd both get the jams.
Wall, by and by Shorty an the
bar got to be a nuisance. / got tired
a seem 'em perfOrmin' out thar in the
road, an suckin' rum, an the whole
town spendin' its time watchin' EN-,
an I threatened time and agin' to
shoot the dunn bar and stop the hull
business. But [ hated to do it, an
KEEP putin up with it, an takin' it
out cussin' Shorty alluz commenced
business with the bar long about day
light. An the fust thing on the pro
gramme were alluz a sparrin match.
One nice mornin' in June Shorty
come sluf1in' down ez usual to begin
the days work The bar were cud-
died up round the pole. Shorty give
HIM whack on the side an hollers
out Come, Solomon! Git up an
put up your fippers, "
The bar got up an put up his flip
pers. They took him hum an sewed
his face up ez good ez thew could, an
the bar war gene when Shorty came
back to the tavern three weeks after
w'ds. He never asked no questions,
'cept to say, Sol must O had the jams
didn' he.
''Ye sec, the night afore the bar
put up his fipper to Shorty, an arter
everybody had gone hum, tn were
peddler cum long to stop all night.
He had durn ugly bar wi him thet
he'd traded fur, an the idee struck
me to swap Solomon fur tibet bar en-
SO to boot, adj | did The new bar
We're chained to the pole, an by day
light next m0rnin' Sol went on his
way east. An, We see, l furgot to
send word to Shorty boat the dicker. ;"