The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-11-29
HUMOROUS ITEMS.

| II Is not good for man TO be
| losn," rem arked Mrs. Yeast, when lady
asked her to loan her husband SIS an
escort for g few minutes Yopkers
| Statesman.
How silent the stars are tonight,
| George" she said softly, gazing at them
| over his shoulder. "Y-yes," he replied,
| "but do You think they are any more
silent than usual?"
A DINNER party-The hand organist.
The suns course is diurnal, and the un-
dertaker's course is die urn all too. AS
| the cold, wintry fail weather approaches
the doors begin to wear bangs Mara
thon Independent.
RUBNsTEIN is engaged on a comic
opera to be called The Parrot" If
only he would work in monkey some
where with the parrot, everybody who
ever heard the popular anecdote would
want to see the show Lowell Citizen.
SHE looked at the waning moon and
remarked: How pale it is" ''It ought
to look pale" he replied, with the air of
a man thoroughly conversant with his
subject. 1T has been full for several
nights > New York Mail and Express.
THERE are two ways of looking at
this question" said bank president at
temperance meeting; (which is the
safe side" "Canadap shouted small
boy in the gallery, and then the audi
ence became lost in reflection Pea
body Press.
Do you think you will remain in Can
ada long?" Il hardly know. | shall
for the present, at least. 1t depends on
circumstances" "What circumstances,
pray?" Upon whether they abolish
the extradition treaty or not."- New
York Graphic.
WHAT do you think of Fielding?"
asked young lady of a recent college
graduate with whom she had been talk
ing about the early English novelists
''O," was the answer, 'it's important, of
course, but it doesn't amount to any
thing without good batting"
isn't it lovely day?" Delightful.
feel magnificent" $50 do l. Inever
felt better in my life" Lets take a
drink" This is awful weather" "Aw-
full" makes me feel miserable" ''Yes,
gives me the blues" Lets take a
drink. > Pittsburg Chronicle.
will you have some butter or some
oleomargarine?" asked the facetious
boarder. "What did We have yester-
day?" asked the thin boarder. Il don't
know" well, if we had butter give
me oleomargarine, and if 1T was oleo-
margarine I'll take butter. > Elk.
Pallet displaying a picturei Now,
candidly, Browne, old fellow, what do
you think of the painting? | tiatter
myself there have been worse pictures
painted than that. Browne (candidly)
Yes, indeed, [ have seen worse myself,
and | have seen a great many poor
pictures, too.
HUsBAND-Hulda, dear, as was pass
ing through our garden l saw some
asparagus ready for cooking; perhaps
you would like to go and gather the
first fruit of the season yourself?
Young wife (anxious to conceal her ig-
norance in the vegetable epartment)-
/ tell you what, Adophus, we viii go to-
gether; you shall pluck it and | will
hold the ladder Heidelberger Journ-
al.
THE county editor who, month ago,
offered a years subscription for the
largest pumpkin, and ditto for the big
gest potato, and the same price for the
bulkiest beet, had clearing out sale a
few days ago, and with the proceeds
paid off thousand dollar mortgage on
his office, and bought a new dress of
type for his paper. There are some
massive intellects in the newspaper pro-
ession.- Norristown Herald.
A PECULIAR race: did you read
what Stanley says about the negro wom
en- in Africa" asked Gus De Smith,
of Gilhooly. NO" "They must have
very peculiar shapes. He says in one
part of his lecture that they are very
careful of their children, and never take
their eyes off them, and afterward he
says they always carry their children
Oh their backs. They must be shaped
different from the darkies we see here
in Austin. y Texas Sittings.
"YoU were down TO see Miss Fussan-
feathers last night, Charlie, weren't
you?" said little Mollie Crimsonbeak to
her elder brother. 'How do you know
where | was ?" replied the young man,
a little provoked. "Well, didn't hear
you tell papa yesterday that she was the
-four of the family Well, suppose you
dld?" "Wen, went on the little girl,
timidly, drawing nearer and brushing
the lapel of her brothers coat Il see
some of her has rubbed off on youl"-
Yonkers Statesman.