McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-10-16
CURED OF BORROWING.

There was meeting of the Grange
The farmers came in one after another.
and soon the little school house was
filled with an anxious, happy assembly.
Jonathan Fuller, the chairman, rap
ped for order and called the roll. Every
man answered to his name with the
exception of Mr.. Haynes. Mr.. Fuller
announced at the conclusion of the pre-
Hminary business that there was no
particular theme for discussion and
moved that John Bangs make remarks
upon any subject he might choose. The
whole meeting seconded the motion
with a roar. r.E
MIR. Bangs arose and looked at the
cobwebs in the corner of the room as if
he thought there was an inspiration in
the dusty drapery. He then glanced at
the floor and said he believed he had
nothing to say. The crowd stamped
and yelled, and amid the discord could
be heard cries of go on,'' ssYou must
say something" 'Hurrah for Bangs"
ETC., all of which quite took the old
farmer by surprise, and before he knew
it he was standing balancing himself
against the desk. The uproar ceased
''Well, I'm not that sort o'citizen as
wants to make hard feelin's 'mong each
other, but when [ sees screw loose l
wants to take screw-driver and tighten
it. The audience Uttered and stamped.
Bangs fixed his eyes on the cobweb,
then glanced at the chairman, who
acted as If he had been shot, and turned
his eyes from the speaker to a crack in
the ceiling Now it is very good
thing to have Grange. 1t is a very
useful thing to have it made strong; in
fact, it is the best screw-driver we ever
had. Loud laughter. There has
been screw loose for a long time in
our neighborhood. Deep silence 1t
is time to commence turnin' your screw
driver on it. You all know what a
botheration it is to borrow. and what a
still disagreeabler thing it is to lend.
Loud clapping and stamping AS 1
said, L don't want any hard feelin's but
If any of you have been bothered as
much as | have, you'll not blame me
for saying Caleb Haynes is the worst
nuisance we have. He borrows every
thing. His wife is getting into the
same habit, and the youngsters too.
He is the screw that's loose Now let's
talk up some way to cure Caleb. for we
all know he is good at heart; besides
that, want to get screw-driver he
borrowed of me not long ago, for nv
woman is going to take up the carpet"
This brief, extemporaneous address
was followed by wild cheering and ex
cited stamping till the whole room was
one cloud of dust No one minded it
but the spider, who scampered over his
swinging mansion S delicate carpetinos
and settled himself down in his back
chamber in perfect disgust at the be-
havior of the Changers. ~
The plans suggested for curino Caleb
Haynes OF borrowing We're numerous.
none of which seemed entirely satisfac-
tory but the one set forth by Mr. Bangs.
1t was unanimously agreed to begin
the tightening of the screw the next
day, that the novel method should be
started by Mr.. Bangs.
The meeting then dissolved and the
Changers dispersed to their homes.
Caleb Haynes was feeding the pigs.
Looking towards the hill, his eve
caught the wagon of John Bangs.
loaded with something.
''Good morning, Calep,'' said John.
''Good morning, John. Going to
market?''
''Oh, no. [ just merely thought
would bring you over few things.
You weren't at the Grange last nightp''
mo, couldn't come. Had to 90 to
town last night to my old woman's
cousin Ann to borrow tiuting ma
chine. / knew there was no such thing
around in the neighborhood.
..Wish had one. would loan it to
you. But guess there is something