davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
"A Prince in Trouble.

Prince of Wales-Don't you think,
ma, that you should help me pay of
my debts. 1t will only take about a
million pounds, and
Queen Vic.-Good gracious, boy, are
you crazy? A million pounds! and three
cows on my Jersey farm have been dry
for two months!
The Prince-But think of the millions
that you own outside of the Jersey farm.
Queen Vic.-Mere TRIES, boy, mere
trifles; only enough to keep me from
want in my old age.
The Prince-Well, if you won't help
me, the tradesmen will enter suit.
Queen Vic.-Why don't you earn the
money yourself? Go to America and
lecture.
The Prince-It would not paw. The
Americans would laugh at my drawing
pronunciation.
Queen Vic.-That is true. Let me
see. Whist can you do? You can't act:
you can t sing; you can't play the banjo,
of course, but that is of no use without
the clog dance, and you don't know
that. Oh! I have it. Write to that
dear, good, kind Mr.. Barnum. Per.
haps he will give you q job to ride on
his new white Observation-Disclosures
Cdu
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
.Machine Guns in War.

The announcement that an American
officer has received permission to in
spect the British machine guns at
WOolwich has called attention to their
advantages and disadvantages in war.
A writer to the Pall-MaU Gazette thus
criticises the employment of machine
guns on the field of battle: If the
range is correct and the mark remains
steady great execution will be done,
but the slightest error will throw every
bullet out, except at short range. Thus
the French foun1 that their attempts
with the mitrailleuse, even at such
short distance as twelve hundred
yards, were perfectly futile, and that
Their new weapon had not the
slightest chance against the field ar
tillery of that time. Since then the
German field artillery has more than
doubled its efficiency. Against their
shrapnel thrown with the present high
velocities the mitrailleuse would have
less chance than ever. The reply
of the German army to the question:
What is the place of the machine gun
in the fed of batt'c? has been, 1T has
no place, and whatever additional men
and horses can be given should be de-
voted to increasing the fed artil-
lery.' Accordingly machine guns have
not been introduced for the field, but
the field artillery has been largely in
creased in proportion to the other
arms. Exactly the same course has
been pursued by the French and by
every other great continental mower.
None have adopted machine guns for
the field; all have increased and devel-
oped their field artillery. When we
remember that France, Germany, Aus
tria, Turkey, Russia, have all lately
passed through the furnace of war, and
had most of their crotchety dross
burned out of them, their unanimous
opinion ought surely to outweigh the
theoretical ideas of few partisans
who still cling to the notion of finding
in the machine gun weapon worth
the cost of the men and horses required
for it's use. They admit that it can not
face field artillery "a. artillery ranges:
that its proeGti.es have no power
whatever against the walls OF buildings
or earthworhs. but they believe that,
when two hostile bodies of infantry are
closing, the machine guns can be
brought from cover, where they have
remained till then, and will exercise
great influence over the result of the
combat. No doubt they would in such
a case, provided the infantry fight hap
pened to be where they could 60"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
Bringing in q Verdict.

At a little back-wOods settlement in
Vancouyer's Island, an Indian had beer
stealing potatoes from farm belong.
ing to MIR. Sproat, the local Justice.
One day, in order to brighten this In.
dian, the man in charge, who was s
Western back-woodsman, fired his CUR
vaguely in the direction of the potato
field. To his establishment he found
that he had shot the native dead. Ar
inquest had of course to be held. TIE
woodsman did not look upon slain
Indian as a. very great affair, and sew.
eral came to Mr.. Sproat and said: "Yo OF
are not going to trouble Henry about
this, are you, sir?" Mr.. Sproat, being
not only the mans master, but also .
magistrate, had to reply that however
much he felt for the mans misfortune,
he must let the law take its course
But where was a surgeon to be found
to make the pOst-mOrtem examination:
A care-worn looking man stepped off 8
pile of lumber, where he was working,
and said he was surgeon. This state.
ment Icing naturally received with some
hesitation, he produced from an ole
army chest his commission. his degree,
and ample proof of not only having
been staff-surgeon. He performed the
post-mortem, and soon produced a shot
from the lung aud proved that the In.
dian had died from gunshot wounds
in the chest. Other evidence was
forthcoming; one of the witnesses testi-
flying that the prisoner had said "Jack,
I've shot an Indian" The Judge" laid
down the law to the jury, which were
composed OF twelve of the most intelii-
gent of the men, and they were sent in
to another room to consider their YER.
dict. 1t was nearly half an hour before
they returned. The foreman then said:
1--WE find that the Indian was worried
by d ,g!'' "a what?" the Judge ex-
claimed. "Worried by a dog. sir, ="
said another juryman, thinking that the
foreman had not spoken plainly. AS
Stunning proper expression of magis-
terial gravity, his worship pointed out
to the jury the incompatibility of their
verdict with the evidence, and aglin
went over the case. and calling their
particular attention to the medical evil
denca. and to the production by the dec
tor Of the shot found in the body of the
Indian, he again dismissed them to
their room, begging them to come back
with verdict re ,so1ably connected
with the facts. They remained away
longer than b fore. When they at last
returned, the Judge drew a paper to-
ward him to record their finding.
"Now. men, what do you s!y?' Their
decisive answ r was: ave say that he
was killed by falling ov IA cliff The
Judge snuffled his papers together, and
told the jury they might 60 to their
work, and he would return a verdict
for them himself. For full mile in
every direction from where the dead
body was found the country was as
level as table. The jury was rot so
conscientious as anoth r in the same
part of the world, composed of the
friends Of some people accused of steal.
ing pork: 1--WE find the defendants no,
guilty; but believe they hooked the
pork. "--Portland Oreqonian.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

MIR. Ingram, the founder and pro-.
prietor of the illustrated London NeUs.
made his first fortune by selling pills.
General jackson was the first
President to inaugVrate the custom OF
shaking the hands of all who came 10
his public levees.
Rev. DR.. John Hall. of New York,
has only missed preaching because OF
sickness on two Sabbath days during
his sixteen years pastorate. ~ y.
| Tribune.
Mary Anderson says she has faith
fully followed Longfellow's advice.
given her at the threshold OF her
career, that she should see q beautiful
picture, read a beautiful poem and
hear some beautiful music every day.
Miss Alice Freeman. Phi. d.. the
President OF Wellesley College. is
slight. girlish. young-faced woman. of
great force of character and brilliant
mental endowments. She is very
popular with the young lady students.
MIR. William Sisson and wife. OF
Portsmouth. r. l., recently celebrated
The sixty-elghth anniversary of their
wedding by a reunion of their friends
in the house in which they have resided
all the years of their married life
Providence Journal.
Prof. Wolcott Gibbs. of Harvard
College, has been elected an honorary
member of the German Chemical So
ciety of Berlin by unanimous vote.
He is the first American who has been
made q member of this distinguished
ociety.--Hartford Post.
Mrs. Betsey Moody. of Cape Eliza
beth, Me-, who is one hundred and two
years of age, said to friend who called:
Il told my husband when he died ]
would never marry again if l lived to
be one hundred years old" She has
kept her promise. -Boston Herald.
Mrs. Rathbone. the victim Of the
recent tragedy in Hanover, supported
President Lincoln when he fell wounded
by the assassin, and the dress she then
wore. stained by the Presidents blood,
is preserved as n relic at the family
homestead in Albany.-Albany (M ~
Journal.
Colonel Macomb Mason. whom
Baker Pasha has appointed Governor
of Massowah, is a native of Virgin a,
and graduate of the United States
Naval Academy. He went with his State
into the war, and since then has been in
the Egyptian service He is an officer
Of ability and resolution, with long
training in African warfare and entire
familiarity with the native tribes of the
Chicago Inter Ocean.
President Solomon. of tie Republic
Of Hayti, is deserted by one who saw
him recently to be "a massive, broad
shouldered giant, at least six feet six
inches high, with the physical proper
tons of a gladiator, a profile dark as
the Nights Plutonian shore. with
snOw-white locks, keen, restless eyes,
glittering like diamonds in Il setting OF
Jet. high forehead, and form, desp te
his advanced age, erect as aplllar OF
stone"
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
told JIM"

One day lately was sitting in the no.
eel at Spokane Falls. idly watching the
group of takers as they grew earnest
over the gold of Occur d'Alene Or the
lands of the Big Bend country. Sudden
lyI became aware of disagreeable
presence, and, turning my eyes rs much
rs could without seeming to look up,
[ saw a very dirty man, with rank
growth of reddish beard, battered hat
and heelless boots. He was half dazed
by the bright light of the room. coming
N from the darkness outside, and was
moving back and forth in his endeavor
10 focus his eyes upon some one. No
one seemed to note him as a specially
uncommon sight, but there was an APP
parent unspoken resolve to ''givc him
The shake" He felt the combination
against himself, but was too drunk to
back out, and presently fixed his stare
upon two well-Gressed men, shook his
dirty finger at them. and said: There s
lots of it there! Brains!-brains! but
no education nor money to back them
up-nothing to back them up" and he
slapped his own empty pocket 10 en-
phasize his estimate of the men he
pointed ut. This would have been en-
barrassing anywhere but in Western
town. Nobody paid the slightest atten.
ton to him, and he gradually worked
up within himself something like cha
grin. "All right! all right" said he. in
an injured tone, Il was once the assO-
ciate of gentlemen. I'm a member of
The Idaho Legislature, and you needn't
be afraid of me. Pm we'll educated
graduated at the Detroit High School.
Now I'm only Old Jim'-no account
Neutrality-suspicious. won't talk
with me-" The proprietor of the hotel
came up and asked him to be quiet.
"No," said he, '.you can't keep. mem
Der of the Idaho Legislature quiet; but.
goodbye, goodbye. Gentlemen wont
have anything to do with me any more. :"
And with this half sad, half drunken
adieu he went out into the night.
Of course it was his own fault. 1t was
no wonder no one would be bored by
talking with him. ] try to be kind
hearted in such matters, and wouldn' t
be bored by him; but somehow it struck
me that such treatment is what helps to
make robbers and rufians. 1t is easy
to understand that such a fellow would
grind his teeth and resolve himself into
an avenging minority. He. could not
very we'll love his fellow-man. There is
no reason why he should hate him, ex-
cept that his whole downward course
would turn all his nature into gall.
One mau in the room remarked:
Ibid you notice that no one in the room
laughed at his vit?'' (meaning his al
fusion to the difficulty in keeping a
member of the Idaho Legislature quiet
Il didn't laugh" the stranger contin-
ued, For the reason that once l had
An uncle who got drunk and acted just
in that way, to the modification, of the
whole family, and guess pretty much
every one of Us has some drunken kin
back in the States somewhere. The
remark struck me as curious one-nOt
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
Frozen Water Pines.

Those who did not thoroughly protect
their water pipes before cold weather
set in will be troubled this winter by
having them frozen. To get up in 8
cold morning and find the pump frozen
up, or the water in some of the leading
pipes frozen 80 that it will not run, is
not only trying to the patience of the
most even tempered man, but it is often
serious drawback on the operations OF
the whole household, and the important
question Immediately forces itself upon
the head of the house: What means
are to be taken to get the water to rum
ming? This must depend ON the situa-
ton of the pipes that are frozen. The
first thing to do is to find the particular
portion OF the pipe where the water is
frozen; this is not always easy, but good
Judgment will generally detect the most
probable point. If it is above ground
where it can be reached. dip a bag, or
any thick cloth. in hot water and i'm
mediately wind it around the pipe where
it is supposed to be frozen, then pour on
it boiling water to keep the clOtn hot; in
this way the pipe will be thawed out in
q few moments; if it is not, then some
other place must be tried. changing I'M
til the right place is found.
Should the pipe be under ground,
and yet where the upper end can be
worked from, take a lead or rubber
pipe that is small enough to 60 ms de
of the frozen pipe, running it in until
it strikes the ice, then into the upper
end of this pipe pour boiling water,
being careful to force the lead. or rub
Der pipe, down as fast as the ice melts,
which will be very rapid. The same
thing can he done from the lower end,
if the lead or rubber pipe have the end
in which the water is poured lifted one
or two feet higher than the end that is
forced against the ice. In thawiDg a
long pipe under ground, it is sometimes
necessary to work from both ends.
Pipes that cannot be reached at
either end to run a pipe in. if they
have a good descent, are sometimes
thawed out with salt; this will take
time, but will generally accomplish the
| object.
When one has exhausted all of his
ingenuity and most of his patience, and
finally succeeds in thawing out the
pipes only to find them burst some
where where it is not easily got at, Their
comes man S self-control over Lis Ian
guage. The wise man is silent, but
will strive to keep his Thoughts directed
to how he may be able to prevent an.
other such disaster. Massachusetts
| POugbmGn.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
HUMOROUS.

"a train behind time" remarked
Fogg, seeing an elderly maiden tr.cked
out in full-fOwing rObes.--Boston Post
-Irate parent in the door to his
clerk, who is caressing his daughter:
"Young man, you are not hired here
for that kind of work. That's so;
I'm doing it for nothing"
backward, turn backward, o
Time!" Papa-'Accordng to this
new standard Minnie, we must set the
clock back about four minutes, eh?'
Minnie (still in the markct) ''FOur
minutes! Put it back lots, papa. Moth
ING less than ten years will do me any
good! "--Lite.
do you know why am Ike the
new bridge at Niagara?' asked young
Bliffkins of pretty Mss Smithers. He
expected her to give it up, and then he
would have rung in pun on cant-i-le-
yer, but she replied: ct must be be-
cause YOU are without visible means OF
support. ''--Bmtalo Express.
johnny came home from school the
other day very much excited. What
do You think, pa? Joe Stewart, one OF
the big boys. had an argument with the
teacher about question in grammar"
what position did Joe take?' ''His
last position was cross q chair, face
down. "--Detrot Post.
Young Alphonso-"M Mercy, child.
you must not wash your new wax doll,
it will ruin it, Infant Terrible" Ruin
it, how' Young Alphonso-" Why,
one drop of water would spoil its COM
plexiOn." Infant Terrible" Isn't that
funny? Ny doll and my big sisters
both have the same kind of 'plexions.
philadelphia call.
-Brown--'What! smoking? thought
you swore off," Fogg so l did, and
I got along bravely until it came 10 me
that this was leap-year. / hadn't
thought of that extra lay. A fellow
might be sble to keep from smoking
three hundred and sixty-fve days, but
mans got to draw the line some
where. You cane expect impossible
ties from afellow.' --Boston Transcript.
What shall we name baby, sister,"
asked q mother of her little four-year-
old daughter. Call her Early. mann
ma; that's a pretty name Early!
That's not little girl S name" ''Oh,
yes it is. Don't you remember read
ing to me about the little girl WHO was
to be the May Queen, and who wanted
her mother to call her Early?' En-
change.
The Donkey's Dream:
A donkey lay him down to sleep.
And as he slept and snored full deep.
He was observed strange sight to weep
Ac{ in ba6
A gentle mule that lay near by
The donkey rOusest and with sigh
And kindly voice in u:r d why
Those tears he did exude.
The donkey while ne trcmbled DER
And dropped cold sweat from every pore,
Male answer in fearful roar:
II dreamed was a dude,''
-"Ah," said the nice young man
with bangs, as the little boy let MIN in
the other evening, "Ah, my little man,
is your sister at home?' '.Yes, she's at
home. but she amt expecting you.'
land how do you know she isn't ex-
pecting me?' "Canse / heard her tell
ma that you're too mean to hire horse
and sleigh, and she didn't expect to see
q sight Of you while the snow lasted"
The little boy is now saddest when he
sits. -Middyetoacn Transcript.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14

but when see how you signed it that
was enuff for me. / knowcd you
wouldn't hev writ that way to q Teller
We waren't goin' to marry. l don't
know much about gals, but know that"'
When it was all settled that they were
to be married the next week. Sunday,
Farmer Van Vleet rode off, and the two
women put away the lap-board and re-
signed the universal shirt-making bust
ness forever.
.rd give the world to know what
writ to him." said Amazin Grace.
'The world amt yourn tew give, -
corrected her mother. piously.
I'm sart' in sure [ told him no, said
the girl, '.but reckon he was bound to
hev me, an / dunno ez Pm half sorry,
either, now"
When they were married and Amazin
Grace and her mother had gone out to
the new home in the smart new spring
wagon, the bride returned to the SUBJ
ject of the letter.
II hev burnin' cur osity to know
what writ" she said, ''cause blush
ing prettily) 81 thought l riffused
YOU
soho, l guess not" said the tri-
umphant lover. "Look-a here, Mrs.
Van Vleet, here's the letter. 'Tain't
but few words. There amt no 'ticula1
meanin' in them, but its the signing OF
them. Do you see that? Them two
words would stand in law to mean plain
yes; there's no gift n around them"
Amazin Grace and her mother both
read at once:
" Mr.. Van Vleet:
deer sir-I am sorry to Inform you that
your attenshuns are in nowise kecipperkated.
"Yures trewly,
"AMAZIN GRACE PILSBURY.'
THAT fetched me- said Mr.. Van
Vleet, looking admiringly at his new
possession. Il doan't kno' much, but
/ reckon l kin tell what girl means
when she writes to teller and signs
herself 'Yures trewly.'' Mrs. H. l..
Payne, in D3troH Free Press.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14

j. De Barth Shorb has sent to Austria
liza for package of seeds OF the waffle
tree, a species of acacia-tree, and is
now planting ten acres of that important
plant. This tree is one of the most i'm
portant that can be introduced into the
State. The bark of the wattle-tree pos
sesses one hundred times the amount of
tannic acid that is possessed by the oak,
and, in addition to possessing this val
liable property, is always very valuable
for timber. The young tree as a sap
ling is valuable as a hoop-pole, and tie
old tree is valuable for slaves for COOP
erage purposes. At the age of five years
the tree is old enough to be peeled for
its bark. The tree is considered so i'm
mensely valuable in Australia that the
Government has forbidden its destruc-
ton, and has taken wise and prudent
steps to promote its cultivation. AS q
consequence there are now four hundred
and ninety tan-yards in Australia that
use the bark of this invaluable tree, and
the millions of pelts and hides that were
formerly sent out from that great coun-
try are now tanned and sent out as
leather at five times the value of the
raw material. This enterprise that Mr..
Shorb has inaugurated may be of great
advantage to this section of the country.
We have an abundance of land for
planting the wattle-tree, end need all the
timber it produces. while the number of
pel.s and hides that could be furnished
is counted by the hundreds OF thousands.
Mr.. Shorb has spent large sum Of
money to introduce this remarkable
tree, which seems to be just what is
needed in this country. It grows with
out irrigation, IS valuable a; hoop-pole
timber, later as . tree for coopera2e, .
good article for fuel and the best tree
for .tannic acid known to the wcrl6
The introduction of this tree may make
an important epoch in the history Of
'outhern CaliforniA-L0s angeles Her.
alb
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
VALENTINE TO 4 ma
WORTH.

Fair Sir! to you my maiden intuitiOns-
Shy but sincere-ingenuously incline,
And If / find you answer the conditions,
I'll take your bid and be your Valentine.
I know your worth-that is, your general
merit;
But when your mourned and wealthy father
died.
Pray tell simple girl, did you inherit
His virtues only-Or-a bit beside?
Yes, admire your lofty reputation,
Deer to my artless spirit as my own;
But tell me this-to still my trepdation-
Are you an owner in Bell Telephone!
Your learning. too, has bound my heart in
letters
For you are wise If street report be true:
J. too a childish fancy have for letters
hope your solid on &C, b. & O."
Your noble presence - ''dignified and
With inexperienced ardor adore:
But those Willard stocks! Have you tried EN-
lately?
And were you long or short on that Lake
Shore!
So, gentle Sir, If you Alright hut read me,
And will with all your Bonds and Stocks be
Thea into Mutual Union you shall lead me.
And will be-
Your booming VALENTINE.
-EdWdrd A. Church, in Century
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14
Particular a 10 Shade.

A consumptive man, knowing that
bis life was rapidly drawing to . close,
called his wife to b m and said:
'.Msdeline. you know that am about
to die; shall you ever think of me wien
I am gone?'' d
Lob, yes, darling" sobbed his wife.
Il never can forget you, and will ever
see that your grave is kept green.
Eyes, my dear, i know You will; but
[ have one last request"
"What is it, darling?"
do not keep it that vulgar. low
down common green. like Simpsons
grave, which is so distasteful to the eye.
Keep it rich. delicate olive greeu."--
Boston Globe.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14

bad generalization. Every man has
enough to think of that is unpleasant, il
he stops to think it all over; and, rs was
said, most of them had drunken kin
enough to knock the fun out of such
scene as this.-Cor. CHICAGO Times.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14

The coolest day in the history of
Montgomery, Ala, was the Sd day of
February. 1886. forty-eight years AGO,
when the Thermometer froze down to
zero, y point which it has never since
ouched. The driver of stage from
Selma to Montgomery was frozen ON the
box of his coach.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14

The Early Richmond cherry is grow.
ing in favor in the West. 1t is one OF
the varieties that can be relied on for .
crop. Every garden should have at
least one tree Chicago Tribune.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14

1t is said that George Munro has
built publishing house nine stories
high, and costing 81, OOO, 600. out of his
profits on the reprints of English books
which have no copyrights.-M r
NeUs,
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-14

1t is said that tobacco stems laid ir
the first fork of the trees will protec
fruit trees from rabbits.-N. J. Herald