Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-01-14
What a Baby Costs.

The following is going the rounds. writ
ten by an editor who thinks he is smart,
very likely: "A baby can wear out a dol
lar pair of shoes in twenty-fOur hours. 1t
can keep its father busy advertising in
the newspapers for nurse. 1t can Occu-
py both sides of the largest sized bed
manufactured simultaneously. 1t can
make the author Of its beings wash bill
foot up to s. Il week, and not be feel
ing at all well. 1t can crowd to suffOca-
ton the smoking car of a railroad
train with indignant passengers between
two stations, cause its father to be in
suited by every secOnd-class boarding
house keeper in the city who never takes
children 1t can make an old bachelor
in the room adjoining use language that,
If uttered in the street, would get him in
the penltentiary for two years. 1t can, in
few minutes, drive a man frantically
from his home and cause him to seek the
companiOnship of a locomotive blowing
off steam"
1t is cowardIy to atDse person who
cannot talk back, and the man who thus
abuses the baby, poor little thing that
IS not responsible for coming to earth to
annoy fools, is fit for treason, or Jumping
board bill. 4 baby never annoyed any
person with a soul, unless there was
something the matter with it, for which a
grown person was responsible. tits true g,
baby can wear out pair of kid shoes
in twenty-fOur hours, but if the proprie-
tor Of the baby does not like to stand the
expense, he can buy cheaper shoes
that viii last year. 1t can keep
a father busy advertising for nurses.
If the father is fool, but If he
dislikes to advertise for nurses he
can nurse the baby himself, or he needn't
have any baby. If the kicking father does
not like to pay wash bills he can wash the
clothes himself. The baby is not to blame
because secOrd-class boarding houses do
not want children around, and the board
inc houses are not to blame either. The
father of a baby should have a home
before he does a baby, and then he VIII
not be insulted. But the last sentence
of the above item is what makes me
hot. "A baby can in few minutes drive
man frantically from his home" ETC.
No ''man" could be driven from
home by his baby. A person who could
be driven from home frantically by the
crying of his own baby is cOwardly
jackass, and baby ought to be ashamed
of such father. Such a ''man" is thing
man would stay at home and help seek
the cause of the baby's peeyishness and
correct it. The Sun does not believe the
writer of the above article ever had baby.
but if he did, he is a nO-accOunt sort of a
journalistic dude, without a soul. If the
man has baby, what precious reading
the article will be to him some day when
he comes home and is met at the door bv
his pale-faced, frightened wife, who, with
tears IN her eyes, says: $50 for the doctor
at once; the baby, l fear, is dying" The
cold chills will creep up his back. and
his hair will feel as though it is turning
gray; as he starts for the doctor he will
feel as though his legs never acted so
slowly, and he Will pray to his God that
the life of the abused little one NAV be
spared till he gets back; and he will
think OF the cruel words he has written
about babies, and wonder If the doctor
will be at home. He is ''driven frantically
from home" now, but not to seek ssthe
c0mpaniOnship of a locomotive blowing
on steam" lie is after the doctor to save
the life OF the baby that wears out pair
OF Kid shoes in day, and he would buy
all the kid shoes in the world if baby
would live. He gives the doctor a
lively race back to the house, and
he Is not thinking about S. wash bill
The father who writes such stuff about
babies huIries to his home wondering If
the little treasure is alive or dead, and the
coward dared not 90 into the room and
face the little sufferer. Men NAV find
fault with the trouble of raising babies,
and think they are smart, but when they
have stood by the bedside of one of their
own, and watched its last breathing and
seen the little life go out, and felt that tug
glng at the heart that can never be de-
scribed by mortal tongue or pen, aud have
followed the little one to the grave
and heard the cold, cruel clay rattle
upon the coffin and 90 home to the de-
serted house and see baby's plavthings
everywhere, through tears, they will
never again talk funny about a baby be-
ing Il nuisance. The smart AIeck who
wrote the above could never have wit
messed the baby smile of welcome to papa
when he came home, or felt little fat arms
around his neck, and looked into little
eyes that are heavens windows, or seen
the hearty laugh that shows sharp little
new teeth coming through the sweet red
gums, or had the little one get astraddle
of his foot for a ride, or seen the face at
the window as he came up the
street from day Of toll. Had the
writer of the above experienced
these pleasures he would have written
different and said: "a baby is a raw of
human sunshine sent to eartn to brighten
the pathway of people who have souls"
No, the writer OF the above is man with
out heart, whose idea of bliss is a
second-class boarding house where babies
are not wanted, and whose death-bed will
be IN hospital, his attendants charitable
people, his mourners will be those who
can get free hack ride to the graveyard,
and his monument should be piece of
soapstOne engraved, Here lies the rem
nant Of star idiot, who, hating babies,
hated everything that was good, and he
didn't die moment too soon, and, thanks
be TO God, he didn't leave any pOsterity."