Morning journal and courier., 1884-05-31
CULTIVATED.

Whitehall lady of culture vas heard to remark: sI hain't much of a gramnarist, but I'm pretty good rithmet1cker. White hall Times.
 It is the fast through mail trains that miss bringing the mails. They are so fast they cannot wait for slow postmasters to bring up the bags--New Orleans Picayune.
 Among the peculiarities of the late Judah P Benjamin is mentioned the love he bore to his wife. All great men have their idiosyn- crasies. Perhaps that is what makes them great.-Boston Transcript.
 England assists her emigrants when they leave for America. Emigrants from the United States do not require governmental aid. They help themselves. They usually make their departure contemporaneously with a bank dedication Boston Transcript. ''so you think your son smokes, Mrs. Jones2" I'm sure of it, Mrs Brown. I've found pieces of tobacco in his pockets D Dear me, dear me! I'm sorry. My son has no bad habits I never find anything in his pockets but cloves and coffee beans. ''- Somerville Journal.
 George" said young lady to her lover. 'fis your arm weak?' ''No, of course not, D was Georges indignant reply, for he wanted l to be considered an athlete. Well, I thought it must be, said the maiden, ''for you don't hug half as hard as some other chaps who courfed me before became acquainted with you"
 One of the professors of the University of Texas was engaged in explaining the Darwin ian theory to his class when he observed that they were not paying proper attention. Gen tlemen," said the professor, "when em en- deavoring to explain to you the peculiarities of the monkey wish you would look right at me "-Texas Siftings.
 Little Nell-'tWhy, mamma, the sky is just as blue to-day as it was yesterday"
 Mamma-''Well, why shouldn't it be, pet?"
 Little Nell-'sIt rained last night" Mamma-''What of that?"
 Little Nell-''You said blue wouldn't wash :" Philadelphia Call.
 This country consumes 30, GOO, 900, GOO clothes-pins yearly, from which it would seem evident that women swallow one occasionally when hanging out the wash, though they will deny it if accused. You can't get 8 woman to acknowledge that 8 mouthful of clothes pins prevents the exercise of all her faculties, including speech.-Lowell Citizen.
 s.My dear fellow" said a critic after ex- amining painting by his artist friend, ''do you not see that you have pinned that angels robe together with gold brooch? Who ever saw an angel with brooch?" Artist, after moments refection-''True, but who ever saw an angel without brooch2" Critic si- fenced, but feeling that he had not stated his case properly.-Boston Gazette.
 MIDDAY sERENADE.
 He stood beneath the window there,
 His voice mellow, strong and tender,
 And through the fragrant bring time air
 His salusation he did send her.
 Oh, never tone of harp, nor Iute,
 Nor Zithers soft, voluptuous measure,
 Nor winding horn, piping flute,
 Coud eer impart so rare pleasure
 She leans upon the lintel now,
 To lose word that strange voire utters;
 Her dark hair clusters round her brow,
 Her starry eyes peer through the shutters.
 Oh, eyes that swept the sunny street,
 What fierce delight is in them gleaning!
 Ana on that face calm and sweet
 What satisfaction now is beaming
 Oh, happy maiden Happy swain
 What words are his We fain would ask 1t.
 List Lis; His voice is d again
 ''StraWberriss! Twenty csnts 8 basket !"
 Kew York Journal.