The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1884-09-17
638
The Lovely Side of Mormonism.


Late in the fall the bishop thought his
little ones should have a blow out on
Christmas, so he concluded to take a
trip to Baltimore to see what he could
find in the way OF toys with which to
annoy his neighbors. When all was
ready he embraced each of the Mrs.
Bilrikrts one by one and kissed each OF
her ifitctionately. He was gone but a
week when he came back with fifteen
brass trumpets in his valise for his dar-
lings. When he got out of the train he
thought what glorious time there would
be at home with the fifteen trumpets in
full blast at the same time. But just as
he entered the depot he saw group of
women standing in the waiting room
ready to receive him. AS soon as he
was espied by them they all rushed for
him, threw their arms around his neck,
and kissed him, eXclaiming, 'Oh, Will
liam Welcome home! Come, fall on
the bosom of your family!'' and then
his entire wife fell upon him with one
accord, and crying with JOY, nearly
crushed the poor but much loved bishop.
The bishop seemed surprised and Che
ing bashfuD embarrassed. Struggling
to disengage himself, he bushingly said
Greatly ladies', this thing is well enough
it is interesting, and all that; but
there must be some kind of-some cause
for-something that | have-eXcuse me,
but there seems to be slight misunder-
standing about the-I am Bishop Bill
rikets.''
eve know it we know it, dear, ;" they
all exclaimed "and we are glad to see
you safe at home. We have all been
very well while you were away"
''It gratifies me, remarked the bishop,
''to learn that none of you have been
prey to disease. ! am filled With am
filled With am full to overfowing
when | contemplate the fact; but really
dom understand why you should rush
as one into this railway station and hug
and kiss me because your livers are ac-
tive and your digestion good. The pre-
cedent is bad; it is a contagious dis
ease.'
"Oh but we didn't they exclaimed.
eve came here to welcome you home,
we are yours; all yours. You are our
husband"
pardon me, but there must be some I
little-that is to say, | should think not
women; you have mistaken your man."
ooh, not" they shouted 1--WE were
married to you while YOU were awayw
"Whatl'' exclaimed the bishop; "you
don't mean to say that"
eyes, love. Our husband, Mr. Parks, |
died on Monday, and on Thursday Jo-
seph S. had vision, in which he was |
performed the ceremony by proxy, y 'FS''
fHelen Blazes," articulated the bish-
opin very loud whisper.
And we are all living with you now,
we and the dear Children
"Children Children' exclaimed
Bishop Bilrikets, turning pale, 'you
don't mean to say there is Il pack of
children, too?"
eyes, love; but only one hundred
and twenty-five, not counting the eight
twins and the triplets."
"Wha-wha-wha did YOU saw"
gasped the bishop, in cold perspiration,
lone hundred and twenty-five children,
and twenty more wives! 1t is too much,
it is awful" and the bishop sat down
and groaned, while the late Mrs. Parks,
the bride, stood around in a semi-circle
and famed him with her bonnets, all
except the rawberry-haired
one, and she, in her trepidation, made
futile effort to fan him with her umbrella
But after awhile the bishop became
reconciled to his new alliance, knowing
well that a protest would be unavailing,
so he walked home holding several of
C. S. h. woman carried umbrella and
marched in front of the parade to remove
Instructions and to scare off small bows
When the bishop reached the house
he went around among the cradles that
fillel the back parlor and the two upper
rooms, and attempted with such earn
estness TO become acquainted with his
new sons and daughters that he set the
whole one hundred and twenty-five to
crying, while his own original fifteen
stood around and swelled the volume of
sound. Then the bishop went out and
sat on the garden fence to white a stick
and solemnly think, while Mrs. Bilrikets
distributed herself around and soothed
the children. It. occurred to the bishop
that he had not enough trumpets for ali
the children as the family now STOOD
and so he determined to go back for one
hundred and forty-four more. So the
bishop repacked his carpet-bag and be-
gan again to bid farewell to his family.
He tenderly kissed all of the Mrs. Bilril-
cts who were at home, and started for
the depot, while the Mrs. Bilrikets stood
at the various windows and waved her
handkerchiefs at him, all except the
woman with warm colored hair, and
she, in fit of Observation-Disclosures held
one of the twins up by the leg, and
brandished it at Bilrikets as he fled
down the streets toward the depot.
The bishop reached the city, compile
ted his purchases, and was just about to
get on the train with his one hundred
and forty-four trumpets when telegram
was handed him. 1t contained infor-
nation to the effect that the warm
haired Mrs. Bilrikets had just had a
daughter. This induced the bishop to
return for the purpose p Of getting another
returned home. AS he approached his
home a swarm of young children poured
out of the front gate, shouting: