davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-08-09
BEHIND THE AGE, BUT NOT BE-
HIND THE PLOW
BY A. W. BALLAW.

The farmer of Today is a man
Whose banner is never furled,
He knows the battle of life is won
As the glittering steel is hurried;
lie grasps the handle of the pillow,
And with it guides the world.
But Sluggs was farmer Of different stripe
And born for different cline.
He went by last years almanacs
And was always behind the time
Why, his very watch got to going slow
By being constantly by i'm.
He was always tired before he'd bagin,
And depended all on the moon;
He'd work when be took notion to,
But he'd stop without it, soon.
"The ground is too wet" or "the ground is
too dry"
He wove into tune.
He waited to see if it would rain,
The chances he never took,
He trusted less to alacrity
Than ever he did to luck;
He was very slow to climb fence
And then on the top he stuck.
AS his crops came up his fences went down,
And one, looking over his land,
Would think he had good supply
OF cattle and hogs on hand
But that they didn't belong to him
Was easy to understand.
lie was very benevolent to weeds,
For the hoe was labor to swing,
He said, "If they were paying crop
What an income would they bringwI
And left his implements out in the fall
So they would be handy for spring.
The patches on his clothes increased
As his patches of grain grew small,
His crop of mortgages easily grew
No matter if frosts did fall,
But in political argument
Why, mercy, he beat them all.
He never put off till tomorrow the things
Which he could do today.
He extended the time and said ."next week
Is little further away :"
And even put off getting out of bed
With the wood to cut and his hay.
His crops ran short, and his bills ran long,
While his neighbors flourished around,
And they said that he ran everything,
Saye his pillow, into the ground;
Strangers seldom could find him out,
For most in the house he was found,
He would have put it off if he could
With some old sort of excuse
But he had to die, and the neighbors say
That when Gabriel's horn let loose
And wakes him, he'll lie over again
For little longer snooze.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-08-09

who were driving that herd, to go a
little slower, as there might be some
necks broken. This induced me to
bring out my reliable time-keeper, and
l found we We're often running sixty
miles an hour. We passed through
many beautiful little cities, the first
was Michigan city, town of about
ten thousand inhabitants, noted for its
furniture factories. Battle Greek is
also large enough to put on city airs
and right well does she do it, from
the way boot blacks, news boys and
hackmen crowd around when the train
stops. Here was the home of Miller
ism, and later headquarters for adven-
fists, who have been prophesying that
Christ should have come several years
ago and appear to be disappointed be.
cause he did not come. | never could
see the propriety of people bothering
their brains and going crazy about the
second coming of Christ. He will
come or we will go to him soon enough
for our good unless We lead better
life than most of the world. This CITY
too has many large factories of various
kinds, among the most noted is Shep.
perd q Co., who manufacture wheat
threshers and engines. Kalamazoo is
the next in Importance and | doubt
that it is noted for anything except
funny name, roller drills, and spring
tooth harrows, but from the looks of
smoke one might suppose that a good
deal of business was carried on of
some kind. jackson, Mich, is the
largest city on the route. 1t has some
twenty thousand inhabitants, is noted
for its manufacturing and especially its
big penitentiary with one thousand
convicts, all learning useful trade of
some kind. Next but not least is the
beautiful city of Ann Arbor, noted
for its fine schools. At this place is
located one of the most thorough col
leges in the United States, which has
been heartily endorsed by the State
and has large patronage even from
the South. Be it said to their credit
that when a man gets diploma from
Ann ArbOr, you may be sure be is
educated in books. And Just here
would say that in the North and East
l find many towns and cities built up
almost exclusively by their schools,
and if we of Hopkinsville cannot have
a large manufacturing town, why
can't we have city built up by our
educational interests. We can if every
body will work for our schools and col.
leges. But enough for this writing,
with a promise that you shall hear
from me again this summer at least.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-08-09

Miss Brown, who is no longer young,
was chiding Miss Moire for her foolish
ness in carrying a parasOl, which Miss
Brown said was useless and piece of
affectation. 81 never carry a parasol, +"
she said. "No," replied Miss Moire,
people on the shady side of life have
no use for them"
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-08-09
WILL IT INToXICA TIE.
Josh Billings Experience with Lager
Beer.

Beer.
| hav finally cum to the conclusion
that lager beer as beverage is not
Intoxicating.
| hav been told so by a German
who said he had drunk it all nigh
long, just to try the experiment, and
was obliged to go home entirely sober
In the morning. hav seen this same
man drink eighteen glasses, and if he
was drunk he was drunk in German
and nobody could understand it. 1t
is proper enough to state that this man
kept lager beer saloon and could
have no object in stating what was not
strictly thus.
| believed him to the full extent of
my ability. l never drank but three
glasses OF lager in my life and that
made my he'd outwist as tho 1t was
hung on the end of string, but l WIS
told that it was owing to my bile be.
ing out of place; and guess that it
was so, for never billed over wus than
| did when | got hum that mite. Nv
wife thOt | was going to die, and l
was afraid that l shouldn't, for it
seemed as tho everything / had ever
eaten in my life was cummin to the
surface, and l believe that if my wife
hadn't pulled off my boots just as she
did, they would have cum laundering
too.
Oh, how sick | wus IA years ago
and can taste il now.
| never had so much experience in
so short time.
If any man shud tell me that lager
beer was not Intoxicating, l shud be.
lieve him; but if he shud tell me that
l wuzn't drunk that mite, but that my
stumick was out of order, l shud ask
him to state over few words, jest how
a man felt and acted when he was set
up.
If | warn't drunk that mite, | had
some ov the most natural symptoms
that man ever had and kept sober.
In the first place it was about 80
rods from where | drank the larger
beer to mi house, and | wus just two
hours on the road, and had a hole
bursted through each one of my pan
taloon neez, and didn't have any hat,
and tried to open the door by the bell.
pull, and hiccupped awfully, and. saw
everything IN the room trying to get
round on the back side of me, and in
sitting down on chair I didn't wait |
long enough for it to get exactly un>
der me when it wuz going round, and
l set down little too soon and missed |
the chair about II inches, and couldn't |
get up soon enough to take the next
one that come along; and that amt
awl; my wife sed 1 wuz drunk as a
beast, and, as | sed before, I began to
spin up things freely.
If lager beer is not intoxicating it
used me most almighty mean, that 1
know.
Still l hardly think that lager beer is
intoxicating, for l have been told 30
and | am probably the only man living
who ever drunk emmy when his liver
was not plump.
L don't want to say ennything against
l harmless temperance beverage, but
f ever l drink emmy more, it will be
With my hands tied behind me and
ny mouth priced open.
| don't think lager beer is intoxica>
ing but if remember right 1 think
t tastes to me like a glass of soapsuds
hat pickle had been put tew soak in.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-08-09
All in the Line of Nature.

There is nothing in the line of magic
or mystery about that wonderful and
popular medicine, Parker's Tonic. 1t
is simply the best and most scientific
combination possible of the essential
principles of those vegetable curatives
which act powerfully and directly on
the stomach, liver, kidneys and blood.
But there neither is, nor will be, any
successful imitation of it. 1t is all the
time curing those who had despairod
of ever getting well. For yourself,
your wife and children.
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-08-09
q. Bucklen's ArniCa Salye.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns, and all Skin Erup>
tons, and positively cures Piles, or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded.
Price 25 cents per box. For sale by
j. B. Ritchey. may1O.1y
Southern standard. (McMinnville, Tenn.) 1879-current, 1884-08-09

When the family pewS begin to be
filed there will be evidence that homes
have become more Christian and more
homelike. God speed the time =
Freeman's Journal.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13
GENERAL.

\ MAN died at New Orleans on the
9th, from poisoning caused by the sting
of bees.
The Second National Bank OF
Aenia, o., has made good its impaired
capital and resumed business.
The National Bank of New Bruins
wick, \. j., suspended on the 9th,
owing to a run caused by the deficiency
OF the cashier amounting to $250,O0O.
SLIGHT frost is reported from various
parts of Manitoba on the morning OF
the 7th.
THERE were 1919 failures in the United
States for the week ending on the 5th
The third annual reunion of the
Green County Soldiers Union was held
at Albany, Wis, on the 9Th inst. Over
1000 persons were present.
The corner stone of the Dakota Uni
versity to be erected by the Methodists
at Mitchell, ID. T., was laid on the Sd
inst. The building will cost 100000.
HE skeleton of an unknown man
was found hanging to a tree near De-
catur, Ill, on the afternoon of the 4th
inst. 1t is supposed to be that of an
old German who disappeared from the
neighborhood last winter.
SECRETARY FoLGER, of the United
States treasury, died suddenly at his
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13

Harry Harris, a telegraph operator, and
Miss Emma Phillips were drowned
AT Troy, o., on the 4th inst, Mrs. +.
Merrill shot her husband in the head
and then took poison. Both will prob
ably die
ANDREW JACKSON, a man of wealth at
Hammond's Station, n. Y, was found
dying on the railroad track on the
morning of the 3D. inst. Before he ex-
pired he stated that VIM. Bolan and
John Duffy. neighbors, threw him u,ider
train. The story is not generally
credited.
DAVID WALTER a clerk II the grocery
house of Voight & Wendorf, at Osh-
kosh, committed suicide on the 2dinst.,
by hanging. No cause.
MARTIN WEINBERGER was hanged at
Pittsburg on the 2d inst, for the MUIR
der of d peddler near Sewickly, Pa, in
June, 1882.
j. W. RUTTENBER, editor of the Glov-
ersville Daily News apd Mohawk Valley
Democrat, was arrested on the I'd inst.
or causing the fire at Fonda, which re-
suited in loss of $40, 900. An employe of
Ruttenber confessed that he fired the
office under direction of bis employer
TAYLOR DoANE and Tom Brown at
tackled Edward McConkey at his home
near Oakland, ILL.,, on the 1st inst. A
half-witted boy named Dean, employed
by McConkey, took hand in the melee,
the result of which was the killing of
Doane and the fatally wounding of Dean
and Brown.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13
FOREIGN.

HERE seems to be DO diminution in
the cholera scourge in France. Dis
patches of the 9TH report six deaths at
Marseilles IN twenty-four hours, at No
velda, Spain, five deaths, and the av-
erage number at other infected points
AT Naples 300 fresh cases are reported,
and III the Italian provinces 34S fresh
cases.
ARnrT 10000 persons took part IN a
franchise demonstration 1T Glasgow
Scotland, on the 9th inst.
AN accident in a circus at Rostafl.
Russia, on the 9th inst, created panic
which resulted in the death of several
people.
A DISPATCH of the 9TH inst. says the
rebels attacked Kassala and were re-
pulsed with great loss.
LATE adyices from the old world re-
port the wreck of the emigrant ship
Lastingham, from London for New
Zealand, on the shores OF that country.
All on board were lost but fourteen.
The Pope has sent $4,000 to Naples
for the benefit of the cholera sufferers.
MURDERoUs brigands are ravaging in
Macedonia. They are charged with
forty five murders during the month of
August
DISPATCHES of the 4th report that
large sulphur mine in Nicosia, Sicily.
caught fire, sutfocating twenty persons.
WHILE attending military reunion
at Berlin, on the 4th inst, Emperor
William was seized with sudden fit of
illness, and barely escaped serious fall
from his horse. Great confusion re-
suited, and the emperor was removed
III closed carriage. Serious results are
feared.
ADyICEs of the 4th inst, state that
three Chinese armies aggregating o.
600 men, are en- route from different sec
tlons of the country for Tonquin.
ADvICEs Of the I'd inst. report that an
alarming increase Ill the cholera cpl
demIc at Naples has caused an exodus
OF the people to Rome.
TWENTY EIGHT of the anti-JewIsh
rioters at Dubrovitza, Western Russia.
have been arrested.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13
CRIMINAL.

ANNA O'NEILL, an invalid of 80,
drowned herself at Columbus, O., on
the 9th.
FRANK BROOKS, of GAINESVILLE, com
mitted suicide at Clinton Junction, Wis,
on the 9th inst, by shooting. He was
2S years old.
WILLIAM RUoFF. Milwaukee book
binder, aged 2S years aud single com
mitted suicide on the 7th inst, by
shooting.
CAS-
Two colored children, aged aud i
years, were burned to death on the 5th
inst. by fire which destroyed their
home, near Mebanesville, n. J.
II. b. WHEELER, aged 70, was found
dead III the street at Green Bay, Wis,
on the 9th inst.
Ten prisoners escaped from the
county jail at South Bend, Ind. on the
night of the 4th inst, by saving the
bars of ventilator.
JAMES GREINER, jealous lover OF
Columbus, o., shot and killed Gretchen
Seehng on the 9th inst.
AN unknown man, arrested on a
charge of burglary, committed suicide
IN jail at Cincinnati on the 5th inst.
" LLIAM H. DowNIE, living on La
Sale Avenue, Chicago, was murdered
on the 9th inst. His brother Charles
was arrested on suspicion.
A RAILROAD employe named William
Campbell was killed by an explosion of
dynamite at Pittsburg on the 9TH inst.
FIRE at Raleigh, n c., on the 9Th
INST, destroyed two market houses and
other buildings. Loss $4,000.
WHILE boating with a party near
New Buffalo, Mich, on the 5th inst,
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13
NEWS OF THE WEEK.
POLITICAL

c. C.. Comstock las been nominated
for Congress by the Democrats and
Greenbackers of Fifth Michigan Dis
trict.
The Wisconsin Prohibitionists met
in convention at Madison on the 4th
inst. A platform was adopted and a
state ticket put In nomination, as fol-
lows: For governor, S. d. Hastings, of
Madison; lieutenant governor, A. A.
Kelly, st. Croix; secretary of state, E.
@. Durant, Racine; treasurer, G.. NJ
Blaci,man, Walworth; Encouragement
+. NJ. Angel, Barron; superintendent
public instruction, Robert Graham,
Oshkosh railroad commissioner, Henry
Sanford. Manitowoc; insurance COM
missioner, Nelson La Due, La Fayette
CONGRESSMAN SAM J. RANDALL has
been renominated in the Third Penn
sylvania District.
The Greenbackers of the Fifth Wis
consin Congressional District, on the
4th, nominated John Z. Thomas, of
Sheboygan Falls, for Congress.
MRs. BELvA LOCKWOOD has accepted
the nomination for the presidency
rendered her by the Woman Sutfrag-
lists.
VERMONT held her state election on
the I'd inst. The results, so far as known,
indicate that the Republicans have car
ried the state by about 10000 Returns
from l05 towns give Pingree (Rep.)
22,636, Redington Oem.) l0,440, scat
terlng 291. The legislature stands
Republicans 50, Democrats II, Green
hackers and Independents | each.
HE Massachusetts Republican State
convention, in session at Boston on the
the Sd inst, re-n6minated Gov. Robin
son by acclamation.
THE Democrats and Greenbackers of
the Eighth Michigan District, on the
"a inst. nominated Timothy E. Tarsney
for Congress.
The Republicans of the Seventh
Michigan District nominated Edgar
Weeks for Congress.
AT the Connecticut State Democratic
convention, at Hartford on the I'd inst,
Gov. Waller was re-nominated by ac-
clamation.
The Republicans of New Hampshire
met IN state convention at Concord on
the I'd inst. and nominated Hon. Moody
Currler for governor.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13
STATE NEWS,

The shortage of exTreasurer Brown,
of Racine, amounts to $1,000.
| DAVID WALTER, grocery clerk at
Oshkosh, hanged himself. Cause un-
known.
The Oshkosh Times has passed into
the hands of E. w. Wall and Charles
| W. Felker.
A HAIL storm in Rock County, on the
31st, destroyed between rs and 100
acres of tobacco.
JOHN B. CARLE, father of Mr.. Carrie,
| of the Chicago firm of Towle, Carle &
| Co., died at his residence i'll Janesville,
| on the 1st inst
| SENATOR SAWYER has presented the
| Congregational Church at Hayward,
| the county seat of Sawyer County, with
a handsome clock and bell costing
$500.
SAMUEL l.. FOWLER, at Truax Prairie,
in Eau Claire County, tried the "Foltz"
| variety of winter wheat on five acres of
| new soil and realized 40 bushels to the
acre.
WHILE playing with a hatchet at
| Wausau a few days since boy named
Victor Wright accidentally struck a
companion in the face nearly severing
| his nose.
GEo. NJ. WATERMAN, a logger and
| lumberman of Unity, has failed and
made an assignment to Charles l..
Healy. Liabilities S10,500, with assets
placed at $4,000.
WILLIAM SUSIMERFIELD LINGLE, edi-
tor and publisher of the Lafayette
(Ind.) Daily Courier for thirty years,
| died suddenly at Waukesha, on the I'd
inst, of fatty degeneration of the heart.
He was 81 years of age.
CHARLES WooLF, aged 49, and Frank
keer, aged 10 years, were carried over
the dam at Chippewa Falls, on the lst
inst, and were drowned. Keer fell off
the boom just above the dam. Woof
jumped in and tried to save him.
FRED. HELLING, formerly of Racine,
aged 10 years, was accidentally shot
dead at his home in Ellsworth, Kas.,
| few days since. He was riding on a
sulky plow with loaded shot gun III
his hands, when it exploded, the charge
taking effect III his breast, killing him
instantly.
hANh WulIc leeuluS Il
threshing machine at Mr.. Frendels III
the north part of the town of Bristol,
Dane County, on the 2Sth, had his hand
caught IN the cylinder. The result was
the arm was drawn in and so badly
mangled that amputation was rendered
necessary.
p. S. PRICE, of Altoona, Eau Claire
| County, has raised some splendid cab
bages. They average thirteen pounds
and measure forty-five inches in cir
cumference. An eighth of ar acre
yielded so bushels of excellent tomatoes.
| E. keefe, a neighbor of Prices had
| Hebron potatoes In the market July 10
and Early Rose averaging eleven hills to
the bushel.
NATHAN MERCER has been successful
in his attempt to raise tobacco at Rubi
| con. He raised two acres of the Span
lsh variety and expects return of
| about $500. Some of his plants meas
ured four feet in height after they were
| topped out and bore as many as four
teen well-matured leaves measuring two
feet in length and thirteen inches in
their greatest breadth. An expert says
that in the greater portion of Dodge
County the soil is well adapted for rails
| ing tobacco.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13

nome IN Geneva, n Y, on the 4th
INST. He had been i'll for some time,
but so sudden and fatal termination of
his malady was entirely unexpected.
IHE George Wood Organ Co., of
Middlesex. Mass, suspended on the 4th
INST, with liabilities of $4,000.
After fasting forty-eight days, Mrs.
Washington Keller, of Reading, Pa,
died on the Sd inst. She lost 175
pounds during her self-imposed fast,
which was caused by religious fanata-
cism.
THE Minnesota Elevator Company
of Red Wing, Mimi, made an assign
ment for the benefit of lis creditors on
| the 3D. inst. The liabilities are esti-
mated at 100000, with assets of $780,
600. The company owned some forty
elevators along the st. Paul road.
The Columbus (O.) Boot and Shoe
Company made an assignment on the
Sd inst. The concern owes about $70,-
600.
SENATOR ANTHONY, of Rhode Island,
died at Providence, Oh the I'd inst.
A DIVIDEND of 50 per cent. has been
declared for the depositors i'll the de-
funct Wall Street Bank
The stone-cutters of New York, to
the number of 1000, laid down their
tools on the I'd inst. The bosses de-
manded that the men withdraw their
support from the striking bricklayers,
under penalty of lockout and the men
retaliated by demand that the bosses
withdraw from the Master Stonecutters'
Association.
JUDGE PULLING, OF the Third Wis
consir Circuit, sent his resignation to
the governor on the % inst. III health
is the cause.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-09-13
The New Cook.

From the trenton Times.
Mrs. Charles Totten keeps select
boarding-house i'll Passaic, n. j. Some
weeks ago. being in want of cook,
she went to New York and secured a
neat, modest-looking woman, who
proved to be a most excellent servant
giving complete satisfaction to the
boarders and mistress, who thought she
had jewel. On Friday night, Mrs.
Totten, wishing to give the cook some
additional instructions about breakfast,
went up stairs to the girls room, and
quietly entered without knocking. She
took but one step when she retreated in
alarm, and nearly fell down stairs in her
CONSERVATION at the sight that met her
gaze. First, she beheld luxuriant
head of hair hung over the back of a
chair But that did not frighten her.
Next she perceived a skirt and other
feminine garments strewn negigently
on another chair, but she did not tremble
at that 1t was the owner of the gar
ments that shocked her, as he stood be-
fore her in the middle of the floor,
covered only with short red flannel
garment and confusion. Presently the
much-prized cook came down stairs
arrayed in the feminine toggery again,
with his other belongings under his arm
He said he supposed that Mrs. Totten
did not want him any longer, but that
he was willing to stay if desired. He
had reasons of his own for donning
feminine attire. Mrs. Totten hated to
part with so good cook, but was so
much fustered at the unexpected de-
velopments that she paid him off and
discharged him Immediately. The
cook subsequently explained that he
had been cook in New York, and be-
ing out of employment donned woman's
clothing, thinking he would be more
apt to get situation, which proved to
he rhe fact