The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1884-12-18

ity.
swell, master" said he, II reckon
you've queer sort Of a instrument
there? What be that now? You be
a doctor, | suppose ?"
"What else could I be?" I asked,
ironically.
"And what be that queer sort Of a
thing in your hand?''
"A surgical instrument, of course"
'And what be that there powder in
the t'other hand?''
"That! Oh, that is the best possi-
BILE of medicines, the very elixir of
life, compound of the rarest and
most valuable Of all condiments. It's
scientific name is Ton-d'apameibome-
nos-prosephe-podas-okus-
The farmer was immensely i'm
pressed with the words-a line of the
"Iliad' which rose uncalled for to my
lips.
"And now," said he, might I make
so bold as to ask what that medicine
is good for?"
Every maIady man is heir to. We
all come to it at last, and the sooner
the better"
I'm bad in my liver" said he.
"Now, if 1 may take the liberty to
ask, does it touch the liver?"
"Touch the liver!' laughed I, with
bitterness in my tone; sit touches it
more strongly than calomel or podo-
phyllin.'
SIS it to be swallowed?'''
"Well, can't but say that I've eat
en- lot Of it; but that is not the way
| would administer it.
May YOU'LL excuse the freedom,
but | do suffer shocking Of the liver
may | further inquire how you would
administer it?"
Il would throw it in peoples eyes, )"
said |, savagely.
Dear heart alive! and what good
would that do?"
'Now, look you here" I said. 1
was in bitter and scornfql mood.
My nlisfortunes had made me so. /
was in no merciful mood had had
no mercy shown to me. | was in a
reckless mood,-my idols were broken,
I had no more faith. Nov, attend
to me. What is the center and seat
Of all sensation and life? Is it not
the head? You see with your head,
you taste, you smell, you hear, you
think with your head. Your head is
the focus Of all your powers,-it is to
you what the root is to the flower;
and Aristotle we'll said that man is an
inverted plant. His bulb is upward,
and his branches downward. If you
desire the health Of a plant, you nur-
ture the root,-you give that proper
dressing. So, if a man is i'll, it is tri-
fling to attack his maldy through the
stomach, or with foot-baths, poultices,
embrocations. No. my good man,
you must operate on the head; and as
the brain is the core of the head, you
must strike at that, and the readiest
way to reach the brain is through the
eye. Are you aware that a nerve,
called the optic nerve, passes from the
back of the eye to the brain, and at
once conveys to it what affects the Or
gan Of vision? I dare say you are not
aware-of that, and yet that is known
to every medical STUDENT may say
to every educated individual. Strange
to relate, this has been universally
known and yet, entangled in er-
roneous traditions, the faculy have
failed to act on their knowledge. Here
it is that my system comes in to over
turn all exploded doctrines of medi-
cine. l do not give baths, poultices,
embrocations, powders, pills, elixirs,
draughts. I go direct to the brain
through the eye. [ warrant you, my
medicine and my treatment are infal
lible."
The farmer was greatly impressed.
'Dang it,! said he, II wish you'd
throw your dust into my eyes. |
don't mind paying you for it. What
is your charge?"
"Five-and-six for such as you," [
said. THE quality guinea" He
drew forth his purse at once and
handed me the money.
There, now," said he, "blow away"
sent puff Of dust into his eyes.
He applied his handkerchief to them
and then said, shaking himself, Dang
it believe you are right. [ feel cas-
ier in my liver already. There is my
old woman, she's bad with lumbagie.
Now, do'ee think you could do her an
improvements
%Try me-" said |.
"Well, I WILL" he said. "Come
along. It's not far off to our place,
and If l might make so bold as to ask
you to take bite of dinner with US,
I'd take it kindly. Here's another
fve-and-six, paid aforehand for the
old lady; and if she is better, dang it!
in day or two we'll have you throw
your dust into our eyes again"
Ten minutes after | had deserted
Tommy, I had half guinea in my
pocket.
After I had puffed dust into the eyes
of the farmers wife, and promised to
call again, l hastened to the office of
the principal local newspaper and IN
serted an advertisement:
"Dr. Robert Flopjohn, M. G. S.,
Salamanca; D. P. L., Mantua; Pro-
fessor of Experimental Chemistry,
Leyden, is visiting this town for few
days only. He is in possession of
panacea for all maladies, having ar
rived by confederation Of evidence
at conclusion which has escaped all
empires. DIR. r. F has practised for
a number of years in the principal
L.,. oe tbo Nonk;papt ond friod hiS