Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-11-27

Bigler Rejoices Also and gives his Reas-
Therefore.
Confederit Roads,
(Which is in the State Nv Kentucky
Nov. q. 1854.
Never sence the fast battle of Bull
Run, when it wuz represented that the
Federal Army he'd bin entirely destroy
ed and that the COnfedsrits wuz in pos
seshun NV Washington. wuz there SIGH a
feelin Nv abslO0t joy in the corners, eZ
Wednesday mite when we reserved the
glad intelligence that our noble stand
ard-barer, ex-sheriff Cleveland, he'd bin
electid.
The nooze cum over from the stashen
at seceshunville, by BascOm's oldest boy
JeffsOn Davis on his mule, witch he he'd
cOntribbitid for the occashun. JeffsOn
wuz seen ridin down the hill at furi-
Gus pace, hOldin on to the animals tale
with one hand while he wuz belaborin
him with hickory club Ia the other.
We knowd that he he'd good nOOze or he
wOOdent be so recklis NV mule, and the
eggscitement wuz intense, He wuz
half way down the hill when the mule
stopped suddint, pit0hin JeffsOn over his
head. The noble boy didn't mind it.
RegainiR his feet he thought moment
mule or do the rest on foot. Strikin in.
to run he rushed into his fathers bar,
with the paper wicll contained the glad
intelligence, and exclaimin "d-n that
mule" sunk faintin to the floor. His
mother revived him by giyin him a
grown persons dose Nv whiskey, and
seezed the paper and red the glad intel
ligence to the delitid pOpulis.
The effect wuZ electrickie. The over
joyed DimOcrisy hOwled. Issaker Gavitt
footed the horn wich we use, OWN to the
fact that the money fur bell witch wuz
sent us by the Moo England Church EX-
tenshun society, happened to come to
me, eZ the pastor, and BascOm KNOWN of
it made me apply half of it to the lik-
widation Nv bill at his bar, and the
other half lost that mite at game nv
seven up with Dekin Pogeam. However
the horn daes very we'll, as it is one OF
CRATE power and remarkably soft in tone
We perceded to-wunst to git out the
relix Nv the late oneaslRess to decorate
the church with, The rifle witch Deekin
POgram yoosed in bushwhackin Fedrel
pikkits wuZ festO0ned and put in its old
place. Mirandy POgram came ruship
up with the skulls NV the Fedrel primers
wieh her brother witch wuZ guard al
Andersonville, he'd shot, and cleaned and
preserved for her eZ mementOes NV his
yaler, and the old war flags NV of the
regiments witch went into the COnfeder
1t servis from the visinity wuz all dus
It'd and hung out.
We wood hev he'd speeches, but Bas-
cum. which is ass, wuZ so full of JOY
that he spilled the hull thing by remark.
in that his wife and son JeffsOn Davi:
wuz putin fresh barl on tap, and that
the corners wuZ welcome.
Good the citizens endOOr stayln in thu
meetin house under these circumstan
ces? No indeed There wuz wild
rush for his place. and the bari wuz sci
runniD. and the mite wuz given over tt
sich rejoicin as seldom falls to the lo
Nv man.
About o'clock in the evenin, wuz
pulled out NV my chare and stood up or
a whiskey bari, for speech. hat
skasely commenSt when l wuZ rOOdly
pulled Gown. 1t wuZ that feend, JOt
Bigler, who remakt that he felt yer,
much like maxim speech hisself, ant
when in the NV dischargin hisself HI
didn't want no interrupshen.
"My trends" he cOmmenst Il am will
VOC to mite to rejoice with 700 over the
glorious results of the elekshunw
.Yoo rejoice with usI" eggsclamed TIT
surprised meetin. "Why you are blacl
Republican," -.
''Troe," he replied, "sroo troo, but still
/ rejoice. / confess that hevin famil.
hedn't the nerve to vote fur Cleveland
but nevertheless | rejoice that he il
slectid."
"Give us your reasonw shouted the ex
cited multitOod.
"Thev reason and it is good one
kin git along under any sort NV gov
eminent: but gentlemen / hev children
/ hev been mitily concerned ez to wa
will become NV them when / am gone
and CONSISTENTLY want to see how mncl
nv a strane a government can bare an,
survive. The reason why am glad tina
. Cleveland is elected is that If this gov
eminent kin stand four yeers Nv SIGH
man. and them which will be behint
him. It will endoor for ever, for certain
ly we kin never possibly git anything
wuss. IF the government kin end00
under the Presidency of man Nv mai
witch measures sixteen inches across tn
base NV the head, and that head sur
mountud with six and fourth hat,
man who buttons his collar before h
puts it on, and then to save time slips
over his head, why then we may die con
fident that the government kin never b
destroyed. Eff the people want q ma
witch heZ every vice that cusses hOeman
ity, and not only hsz EN-, but is rathe
proud Of EN- than otherwise, man VIE