Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-05-29
Aumuruns department,


Shake in der shtore while I come down
town." he began as he halted patrolmen,
-''and pooty queek man vhalks in and
looks all aroundt and says:
"Poy, I has godt some badt news for
you:o
ssVell, your fadder falls down on der
shtreet und preaks his leg, und l vhas here
to get dollar to pay for hack to bring
him home"
%""Now
"Dot vhas So"
"Veel, dot makes my poy Shake feel like
load of hay falls on him, but he doan' go
quite crazy. He thinks it all oafer and asks !:
..S,1 "so my J; fadder proke his leg?"
(which leg vhas it?"
'Der left leg"
care you sure?"
"Of course; I help to carry him into der
city hail." -
~.es'Den my poy Shake he laughs all oafer,
shust So, und chuckles down in his poots
like dis; und den he plows bolice whistle
NIT all his might, und dot schwinler runs
away. .a.
80 Jake doubted his story, eh?"
ssOf course"
BE-, "Whyv'
- s'Veli you look here few times"
He reached down and pulled up the left
pant leg, and the officer saw neat handy
wooden limb. ...
"You don't fool my poy Shake on wooden
legs, und don't you forget him ~ chuckled
the old man as he waved his hand for a
street-car to take him aboard.-Free Press.
DEBT AND CRED1r.-Mr. and Mrs. Tom
shrewd and thrifty, and had the reputation
of being "close." Finally, Mrs. Mulcahy
sickened, and was about to die. Finding
herself nearing the end, she expressed de-
sire to put things in order before that event
occurred and old Tom prepared to listen.
"Tom,' says Mrs. Mulcahy, ''there's
Mrs. Smith, up at the crossing, she owes me
$3.50 for butter. See thatye get it,"
"sinsible il to the last ny dear sa sinsble to
'sThen there's Mrs. Jones, up at the creek,
she owes me $1.50 for chickens"
.:"Ah! look at that, now, for moind!
She forgets nothing"
"And Mrs. Brown, in the village, she
owes me $3.50 for MILK
"Do We hear that? Sinsible to the last
Go on, my dear"
"And:-and-"
"Yes? .-.
"And Mrs. Roberts, at the toll-gate, owe
her"
"Ah poor dear poor dear !" broke in
old Tom, hastily. elbow her moind does
be wandering Sure we've allowed her to
talk too much entirely, 50 we have"
BETTER BE LAwYER.-"Is it true that
the case of Zabriskie against Van Ripe is
settled ?" asked reporter of Lawyer +. M.
Ward, of Paterson, N. J.. This case has
been in the courts for a long time.
"Yes," replied Mr.. Ward, "the case is
settled.''
"And it is said, Mr.. Ward, that you have
come into possession of the farm"
"That's so," replied Mr.. Ward, laughing.
"I've got the farm, and Garry Ackerson, of
Hackensack, the lawyer on the other side,
has got all the money. [ got mortgage on
became the owner. The meney paid went
to Ackersonw
"And what have the two farmers got, Mr..
Ward 2"
"Nothing. When we began the case
there were two well-off farmers and two
poor lawyers. Now there are two poor far
mers and two well-off lawyers"
HE KNEW IT WAS sHE.-Jones-Have
you ever heard what became of your rum
away wife?
Smith-No, and don't want to. All I
know is that she left a note behind saying
that she had determined to 60 on the stage
and knew / would never consent.
Jones-Well, was looking over Den
yer paper the other day and saw most en-
thusiastic notice of the success made by
new prima donna, and judging from the
description she must be your wife.
Smith-A prima donna. That is impossi-
BILE. My wife could not sing note.
Jones-But she may have learned. The
paper said she took the town by storm
Smith-By storm, eh?
Jones-Yes.
Smith-That is she.
WAS HE FRIEND OF THE CoLoRED
MAN ?--"Here's yer roast chick'n ~ cried
an aged colored man, as the cars stopped at
aVirginia railroad station. Here's yer nice
chick'n IN 'taters; all nice and hot" holding
his plate aloft and walking the platform.
"Where did you get that chicken, uncle ?"
asks passenger. Uncle looks at the intru-
der sharply, and then turns away, crying,
"Here's yer nice roast chick'n, genpm'n,
all hot needn't to 60 into de house for dat"
"Where did you get that chicken % re-
peats the inquisitive passenger. "Look-a-
yeru" says uncle speaking privately, "is
yer from de Nort?' eyes" "Is you a
friend of de cullud man 20 81 hope am"
"Den don't you nebber ask me whar got
dat chick'n. Here's yer nice roast chick'n,
all hot. - Christian at Work.
A SERIOUS OBJECTION.-"I am opposed
to convcts working in public" said we'll
Gnoun fi1o, nf A ryanSQS