Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-07-18
THE TRAMP PRINTER.
W. VI. KENNEDY.

III we look into the A box OF history
we find no trace ofthc tramp printer;
and yet, it is probable that his first
parents began business in the Garden
of Eden, where they-in direct OppOs-
ition to the rulcs-partook little of
the tree of knowledge, and were,
therefor, "snakcd" ont of the estab
lishmcnt.
The more immediate genealogy of
the tramp printer cannot be distinct
ly traced, but, from his marked
peculiarities, it would seem as, if he
was a cross between republican
carpet bagger and the town COW, so
completely does he personify peram-
bulating impcrtinence and perpetual
perversity.
lie is topographic error, on legs;
wrong font letter in the columns OF
men, and leaves, wherever ne goes,
bad impression on the tympan of
fratcnal conduct. lie comes, when
you don't want him; and goes, when
you do.
When he comes, if he happens to
be an old case, he steps briskly, with
a martial tread, into the sanctum,
looking as hollow -chested as a box of
imported strawberries, and as neatly
dressed as a man after drink-toes
out of shoes, breeches in ribbons
about the heels, aud as he passes by
your desk, he observes with court
eous nod, "see foreman of other room."
He goes in and in someway becomes
solid with the boys. lie gains
case, through mere force of circum-
stances, before you fully know it.
Indeed, yoar force of circumstances
and his suffering poverty he relies
upon with as much courageous faith,
to see him through, as friend Otis
would OH "full hard" or president
Clinton on an ace and the two bowers
to take trick. You will perceive
by the mastery movement the tramp
has executed to eludc the mighty
proprietor, in order to reach more
hospitable hands, that experience has
cducted his conduct and taught him
to know that the average country ed
itor, who sits in his sanctum, is man
of fine discriminating powers. Boys,
this is delicate taify for the editors;
they viii believe it; but you, of
course, know better. The tramp,
usually, has not been at work more
than a few hours before he comes to
you foraquarter to get his "washing."
If he gets it, he goes out to see
friend and soon transmutes this frac-
tional dollar of our daddies into liq-
.uid nourishment The average tramp
printer has more washing" that
requires public attention ,han a Col
orado congressman, and, like him,
too, he alarms-yes, fairly astounds-
his associates, by his frequent mo-
tions for public appropriations, for
purely irrigating purposes.
There arc three distinct classes of
tramp printers. First comes the
BLACKSMITH" lie lacks both the
intelligence and the skin to hold a
permanent situation in any Office he
travels to live and he lives to travel
he lives off the earnings of honest
men, whose only sympathy with him
in fact, is in the sound of the word
"printer." lie uses this sweet sound,
the industrious craftman's pride, TO
gain hospitality, and then detlles it.
Having already stolen his trade, he
requires only an opportunity to steal
everything else at his command. He
is to printerwhat a thistle is to rose.
/ have had them, and when / missed
him, ! missed at the same time, brass
flourishes, the vital parts of fancy,
ornamental borders, writing paper,
stamps, umbrellas, gold pens, etc. 1t
is trying to speak of him with pat
icnce. 10 think of him with the idea
of expressing your thoughts, barcs
before you the vital poverty Of the
English tongue, and makes you wish