Daily Republican., 1884-06-18
The Lime Kim Club.

A few days ago the firm of Chamber
lain & Brewster, at Albany, N. T., for.
warded to the Lime Kiln club several
sample brands of cigars to be smoked
at the next annual election. The Score.
tary returned the vote of thanks ten
dered, and Brother Gardner carefully
laid the cigars away on the shelf occn-
pied by the bust of the late Julius
Caesar. AL Of q sudden the lot turned
up missing. Samuel Shin was quietly
spotted, but no question asked Some
more cigars were laid on the shelf, and
this time the thief betrayed himself.
Samuel was the man. He came down
to make ready for the meeting, and
seeing the cigars he took possession.
He WAS gamboling around Paradise
Hall, smoker in his teeth and q
broom In his hand, when something
happened.
The cigar went off. So did Shin Elder
Toots, who was first to arrive, found
the Janitor lying under seven benches
and thirteen chairs. He had lost all
his front teeth. His tongue was half
roasted. His eyebrows looked like De-
cember foliage, and one of his peppers
was closed so tight that it couldn't be
pried open with a crowbar. In brief,
Samuel was a gone up, used up,speclmen
of the African race-not quite dead,
but far enough gone for medical
college to want to steal his body. He
was hauled out in the ante-room and
deposited upon a heap of scrap iron,
and as the members came in each one
intuitively reasoned that something
had happened, which would be ex-
planned In due time. Brother Gardiner
felt Of Samuel's pulse, tickled his left
ear, and then opened the meeting and
said:
De man who minds his own bizness
has got all de wDrk dat should be cut
out for one pusson. De man whose fin
gers itch to pick up articles he hasn't
paid for will sooner er later make
mistake and burn his fingers. 1t am
muffin to me who gets drunk nor who
keeps sober, SO long as neither one
damages me- doan' keer a straw to
know de nayber on my left Ibis without
work OF position, ali 1t am none Of my
bizness how de one on my right spends
de ten dollars he Arms each week.
"Gem'len, Samuel Shin was
pinted ,janitor of dis hall under de
i'm presbun dat he was strictly honest.
It has bin conclusively proved dat he
am an EN- bezzler. Had he taken all our
it would have bin in order to
call him sharp an be satisfied to git
half oft back an lea him 60 free. AS
do sum total am only few shillings
Justice yells fur Vengeance. Samuel
owns mule. Befo' leavin' dis place to
night he must gin US bill Of sale of de
animals. We must have . chattel mort
gage on his cook stove. If he has any
wages due him we must serve garn-
ishee. Dar' must be no let up-no un.
worthy feelin's Of mercy. Samuel Shin
am deposed from his position as jani-
tor, an de tranquil Cadaver blossoms
am pinted to fill out dc onexpired re-
mainder Of de term. Judge Cahoots,
kyann johnson an Porus Davis am
nominated a COMMITTEES to remove de
body on cheap cart to its home on
Grove street, an de regular bizness dat
has called us together tonight will now
purceed to begin"
Kickback Taylor, Chairman of the
Committee of the Country, submitted
quarterly report, embracing the follow
ing facts:
/. Wheat am down an house rent
am up.
2. Bankers an brokers am Dustin
up daily, but de white folks am bull
din brick houses right along.
3. Gen. Grant am authority dat DE
kentry was nebcr mo- prosperous, but
on de next day his firm fails for six or
eight million dollars.
4. De rate of interest am creepin up
an yit money am plenty.
3 People seem to lack confidence IN
maxim Investments, an yit you can
sell lottery ticket to cherry other man
you meet.
6. In brief, dis committee desiahs to
report dat de prosperous condishun OF
dis kentry am 30 liable to ketoh cold
an be tooken sick abed dot it 5ehoves
cherry bizness man not to bethany money
on horse race dat am needed to pay
debts in New York.