The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-11-26
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

he IS philosopher WHO can Ilnu muSlC
in fat mans snore.
A man with cast in his eye--A trout
fisherman. TepaS Siftings.
Earthquakes cause quite a movement
in real estate. .-NeD York Dial
A cobbler's wife call him Breath"
because he lasts for the living.
Practical jokes-Those that are pub
lished and paid for.-Ne,o York Mail.
The only bar that tramps are unfamiliar
with -Crowbar. r.-Neae York Telegram.
A Boston agricultural editor says that
the best way to preserve peaches is to
keep bulldog in the orchard. = COtirser-
journal.
A society exchange says: 'Ladies' bon
nets this season will be felt" Yes, and
the one to feel it most will be the hus-
band. Boston Post.
''Why is harmonious husband and
wife like eight cubic feetQ" asked Flat
terry, and before / could reply the answer
came: because they are both in accord"
Boston Times
A fashion paper, in describing a bellies
attire recently, said she wore carbuncles,
and now that poor girl gets 300 differ
ent recipes for the cure of boils in every
mail. Washington Hatchet.
An esteemed contemporary, talking of
man run over on Monday by Market
street car, says he has four doctors in at
tendance on him, and then unnecessarily
adds: It is doubtful whether he will!
recover. San Francisco Post.
Orange peel is now said to be collected,
dried in ovens and sold for kindling
fires. 1t burns readily and with great
fierceness and is safer than kerosene.
Now cannot some useful avooation be
found for the treacherous banana PEEL
Philadelphia Call.
$50, you have finally made up your
mind you won't have meY" he asked.
"Yes, firmly" she replied. g / suppose
you take me for fool for proposing to
YOU so often" "No, sir; don't take
a gift. "-DetrOit Free Press.
81 hear that your wife creates quite u
sensation " said one Burlington man to
another who had recently been married.
{" Well, | guess she does.'' replied the
other obviously, feeling of the bumps on
his head. ''But the sensations are not
altogether so pleasant as might be
wished. .-BwliagtOn Free Press.
"rYou must be sick to hire horse in
the daytime" said an impecunious young
man to companion. "Why soY" was
the inquiry. "Are they any cheaper at
night9' "Guess they are All you've got
to do is to eat five-cent slice of mince
pie and you can have mare all night
that would beat Maud S. to flinders -
Burlington Free Press.
, REAssURED.
''Oh, youth, with smooth sand-papered pate,
The night is dark the hour is late,
Why do you linger on my gate"
, IT stay to help your daughter hold
This gate upon its hinges old;
Go in, old man, you're catching cold!"
{ The old man sought his little bed,
{ And pillowed there his tranquil head;
81 guess the gate is safe, he said.
-Luther g. Riggs.
Landlord !' cried an irritated traveller
, who had been eating dried-apple pie at
, railroad lunch-h house, as he held one
hand to his shattered jaw and produced
a gimlet with the other. "Look at this
confounded gimlet I've found in your
pie and broke half the teeth in my head
out on!" "Well, l declared" said the
landlord. 81 wanted to use that yester-
day and hunted all over for it. Much
obliged, stranger. ."-Nel0 York Star.