The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-06-03
Sepse and No,lse,ise,..

4,
Seuse and eNnpse,ase.
A mere matter Of form: Tue artists
model.
A pair of red drawers-7-a yoke Of sor-
relnxen. .4 g.a st
A little girl calls her good father; "par,
excellence .s.G, 80 -fs.i III
Tue man without a future--a busted
stock broker. s,is}p -. as e.
,mnambnism is heleseh 10 be an
UNCONSCIOUS trance action. - 20 81 q.
It is the feeblest mustache, as we'll as
the sickliest CHILD, that gets the most
tondlng. ef
The trout season is at its zenith, and
you can now catch five pound trout
with 200 pound liar almost any day in
the week. ~
81 dreamed last night that was mar
r ed. Is that bad dream3' Cross Ia
tber: "The only thing bad about it is
that it is not true"
"What is wanted in this country"
said the bri lie as she examined the we'd
ding presents, "is silver service reform.
That set is plated" '7 @
A Baltimore swell went to fancy
dress ball as donkey, and his friends
say it is the first time be ever failed to
make an ass Of himself. '''f
Ssnator Don Cameron has arrived 10
New Y ,rk. from Ero oe. but refused to
be interviewed on the subject OF bis
preference for President. ~
A muff is defined as SO thing which
holds girls hand and don'tsqueeze it., :
Correct, and any fellow ia "a muff". who
will hold girls hand without squeezing
it. ~ fa-f' sra
The reason why Richard III, when
waking from troubled dream, called for
another horse, w&s because he disliked
the nightmare which he had SO recently
ridden. fHs s
81 don't see the bell, "ssid handsome
woman at the front doot of a house to
an Irishman shoveling coal. Path,
nam. an, ye wud though av ye were to
luck in the glass ("
Three tramps found can which had
contained nitro glycerine near Oil City,
Pa. and were about to make coffee in il
when the can exploded. One Of the men
was blown to pieces.
"Do you know" asked gentleman
at the bird chow. "why robins are more
intelligent than heus ?" NO." was the
reply. Because they are better posted
in the higher branches"
II has knowed men ter tell a dozen
lies jes' ter tell one truth" says Opie
Reade. "Dis showed dat da wuz mighty
fon' O. truth, but dat it wuz O. mighty
sca'se artikle wild 'em."
A West E I'd bank in London, with q
humor that half atones for the tyranny
of the act, has issued an order that
"gentlemen must mt wear heards or
mus,aches during Office hours "
"Advoirdnpois sociables" are the fash
ion = in Hottawo,tom,e county, Iowa
Each young man has his girl weighed,
and pays for her supper at the rate OF
half cent pound on the figures.
Petroleum has been struck 10 large
quantities in N ,rthern Ger many and the
people OF that country hope soon to be
nj longer dependent upon Amerca and
Russia for this important necessary OF
life.
There is a delightful amount OF har-
mony in the ranks OF the R publican
party just n wv. II its several organs are
to believed not one of It's principal cam
didates IS fit to BIZ 10 the presidential
chair. af a.
"Why do ladies make such good arch
ers 2" said the conundrum man. light
ing q cigarette on the sole Of his shoe.
"Don't know and don't want to-" said
the editor. "Why, because OF their Gu
pidity!r
An agricultural delegate to the Iowa
Republican Convention remarked that
with 4 imuuds a. the candidate i,
would be too cold to- rsise corn. ,.even Ia
the straight-out Republican counties,
this year." - 's f31sg g ef's e
A small boy testified in justices
court that the affray took place on a
Sunday. "How do you kpos 1t was on
Sunday ?" because that day I had
to 90 to the side door Of the saloon to
get beer for dinner" ifas"
"What is home without a hauit?''
as the ghost sail. "What ghost, foolish
one ?" "Why, Naomi, of course. ".aShe
wasn't no ghost "rhat's all you read
your Bible Tor. Didn't Rath say to her,
Whittier. thou ghostf'" f afzarif
"Cau you tell me, sir" asked Young
lady at the bookstore, s'in wha. order
Thackeray wrote his books ?" "No,
LADY," replied the gentlemanly sales gen.
tleman, shut. don't yer know, I guess ii
was in order to make money.
"Ya'as," continued young Smythe. 81
suppose everything created has come
use, but pom me honah it's deucei hard
TO 0eileve IL, uOn cner know Les,
replied the young lady, looking him
over intellIgeutly, sit is, indeed.
A question for puzzle solvers: sin
waltzng with young lady not over
seventeen years, pretty aud. one the
ver-get-dizzy sort, does the young
man go around the lady, or does the
young lady 60 around the young man p
George'J. Willisms, late postal agen,
at Charleston w. Va, has been convict.
ed Of robbing the mails upon TWO indict.
ment, out OF twelve against him. He
bad obtained about $4,000, by bis pc,
culations. and will receive long sep.
tence to the pepitentiary. ~ ,ss j
A friend of merchant, whose son
has recently returned from his studies al
a New York business college, was ask
ing the old man il The boy had improved
his opportunities. II should say thai
he had. He can initiate anybody's hand
writing, and he'iss so experts at figures
that | am afraid to let him TOUCH ths
books" 4u.l
The first contest 10 the bicycle races