Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-11
BRIGHT BITS.

AN Ohio newspaper speaks of a man being
bruised by the emphatic gesture OF mule.
A MAN without any bones is now being ex-
hibited through New Jersey. He is probably
a retired poet or a base ball umplre.-Phttd-
delphia Chronicle.
THE New York doctor who announced that
ice cream was safe and wholesome, has mys-
teriously disappeared. Several impecunlous
young men are uspected.-Louisottte Cou-
fier-JOuFndL.
IT was Massachusetts jury that rendered
the verdict: ''Ded by the hereditary vista
ton of God" The man had broken his neck
when drunk, and q similar mishap had be-
fallen his grandfather.
''YEs." said a butcher, as he watched dog
making off with a big piece of liver, u be-
lieve this is the only business IN which man
can lose flesh without growing thin
brakes Tractors Ndgasiae.
SOME young ladies at the seaside wear
arouGd their straw hats twist of common
hay. The young donkeys who ogle these
young ladies regard the new caprice as per-
sonal insult.-NOFristolon Herald.
RURAL EDITORS who cannot ascertain
whether the prepOnderance of sentiment IN
their vicinity favors Blaine or Cleveland are
putting out a good deal of PLAIN spoken opin-
ion on the deadlock between the British
houses of Parliament.-BostonT Transcript
TIE VI ajor's hottest action: Sub Ito the Ma
jor. just returned from Egypt with the V. 81
BY Jove, Major! you've seen some service.
Which do YOU consider the hottest action you
were ever in?" The MajOr-'One in the
Queens Bench years ago-for breach OF prom
se.''-Lond0z1 Fun.
THE boy who seeks the rivers brim,
Where he intends to take a swim,
But runs away,
Possesses wisdom, strength and vim;
For he will surely live to swim
-C6ristian at Work.
TwELvE-YEAR. OLD bad boy: ISIS, your
feller's in tight place." Sister, alarmed:
''Why, what do you mean, BOb?" when l
was getting your face powder IN the drug
store, this noon, | saw him in behind the
SCREEN" Sister: "Shh papa will hear"
Bad boy: "Pa was there, too!'-Bur2iagton
Free Press.
SHE was floating serene on the ocean,
With the pillows she sank and rose,
With a rhythmic. poetical motion
The essence of sweetest repose.
But the poetry changed to prose,
And her screams caused the greatest commo-
ton
A crab had caught one Of her toes.
Ne1C York journal.
DOMESTIC FELICITY-"John, what is that
peculiar smell9" The hour was late, and he
had just returned from the lodge. THAT is
the incense we use in the lodge room, my
dear" IF that's all you go to the lodge for,
/ don't see why you can't buy a few bottles of
it, and keep it in the house IN case of sick
ness" He merely remarked that he thought
she was inCensed enough already.-Ierds
SiftiRgs.
Oh, see yon maiden, sweet and fair,
How gentle Is her mien.
And ah, those tender braids of hair
Such wealth of golden sheen!
But soft-has Mabel got the mumps
Upon her face. dost think?
Oh, no; she got those swells and Jumps
Up at the skating rink.
- WiIIidlnSport Breakfast Table.
BOSTON MAID: mo, my paternal progenitor
is not in" "Caller-"I am one of the deposit
ors in his bank. which | find has suspended
payment. Can You tell me where your father
is?n 1.-The authorities became cOgnizant of
considerable disqualification on his part and
conveyed him to protoplasm." "a what?"
"a protoplasm." What, in the name of
Webster, is that?" 'If you will glance at
Worcester you will find that protoplasm sig
mites a cell.''-Rochester Post EsDress.