The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-12-05
A TRUE TALE.
A sDrummer'' Who Exhibited MS Wares
to Two Inquisitive Ladies'.

ing on the WlckeCEeSS OF ''QrummerS
I! will read and reflect on. We have met
hundreds OF people, who, if you tell them
81 certain fman-say a strangers 8
drummer, will hold up their hands in
their horror and declare that there can
be nothing good about him. In other
words, no matter how much of gentle.
man lie may be, the mere fact of his be-
Ing drummer damns him forever.
A little fact has cone under our OBJ
scrTation that shows what foolishness il
is 10 Judge man by his looks.
The other day we were on the Chicago
4 Eastern Illinois road, starting on
shooting trip. Just in front of us were
two women-we won't call them ladies,
for they were of the stripe of women
who are regular fanatics and always
know more than anybody else, especial
" about other peoples business. With
them was a poor, hen-pecked looking
man, who was probably the husband of
one of them. At a station there got on
the car a nice looking man WITH large
fiat valise in each hand. He was well
dressed, wore buster, and had good,
honest face. He had sandy beard and
light hair, and his face was forid, as is
always the case with men Of his style.
He nodded his head in our direction and
sat quietly down in one CT the front
seats, and commenced reading the
paper.
Then the women commenced.
Did you see that nasty drummer git
on?n said number one
''Yes, said number two 81 jist de-
spise them. They go around like pack
OF wolves and they do anything that's
mean and low; wouldr trust one OF
EN- minute"
Glow do you know lc is a drum
mer?" meekly interposeJ The hen-pecked
husband.
"Know2 How do I kr.ow?" said num-
Der one. "Why, | can tell 'em as fur
as can see 'em. Them things they
call grip-sacks give EN- away. This
fellow has got two. | guess he's got a
lot of samples in one and big whisky
bottle, and pack of cards, and a whole
lot of letters from girls all over the
country in the other one. o, l pity his
poor wife"
How do you know he's married."
ventured the husband.
know! Why them fellers have got
wives all over the country. They list
bewitch these innocent girls and marry
'em, and then 90 off on trips and leaves
'em, but they generally have one poor
wife and a lot of children off East some
where, and the poor thing has to sup
port EN- all, while the drummer is CAD
din round the country playin' cards"
Yes" said number two. You're
jist right: they oughter all be in the
penitentiary. They're depraved set.
Now, just look at that fellows face
See how red it is? I'll bet he drinks a
quart of whisky every day. l never
seen anything SO red in my life. Now.
| Just know he's got a big flask in each
see the cheek he had to bow to us when
he came in. and here we never saw him
before; the cheeky wretch"
Now, we happened to know the gen.
tleman. and knew his business. and we
thought it good chance to put in our
oar. especially as we knew it was to us
he nodded and probably never noticed
the virtuous females at all. SO putting
on sweet smile, we leaned forward
and said:
Ladies', see YOU know something of
the world. Drummers are hard set,
aren't they?''
They looked at us a moment, and Their
said: "Yes, sir, ! hope you don't as
sociatc with them"
20, no, madam. not for the world. |
/ live down in Evansville. and down
there the people won't walk on the
same side of the street with them at
ALL" (How was this for gall from a
fellow that went on the road when only |
seventeen, and drummcd ten years?)
well. I'm glad they treat 'em rs
they deserve down in Evansville Do |
You know that whisky faced Teller up in
frcnt?n
Never saw him before" said we.
with a truthful air; '.but I'd Just like to !
play trick on him and make him show |
those whisky bottles he's got in his |
valiseS."
20, wouldn't that be nice, said one;
show could you do it?''
You just leave it to me-" we went |
on. ZIP rope him back here, and tell |
him that two ladies are very much inter-
ested in him. and it will be Just like his |
cheek to come back and open his valises
and show you lot of letters from girls |
just to show you what a masher he is"
20, how nicer they cried, clapping
their hands with giee. You get him
back"
We went forward and simply said to
the alleged drummer: Henson. there
are two nice Christian ladies back there
who wan. TO look at Your samples. i
think they can help you along"
Henson threw down his paper and
grabbed his valises, and came back.
He threw back a seat and while opening
the valise said:
Ladies', thank you for sending for
me. / am a minister at Milford, and of
course l don't get much salary, and
during my summer vacation | try to
make little money for my wife and
babies b. working on commission for
the American Bible Society; now. do
you see any of these that you Eke?"
and he threw open both valises COM
pletely filled with copies of the Bible.
from the cheapest up to the nicely
bound ones that are usually kept on
center tables
What the women said we dom know:
we lit out for another car: we didn't
want to be snatcaet bald-heaEid, but
we had kind of a sweet feeling that
we had shown those vi1egar-faced
females THAT you can't most always
ell. ''-EUanSciiie Argus.
~. 1