The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-11-27
HUMOR.

The young man who would scorn the
idea OF being farmer is the very one
who il apt TO be an expert in sowing
wild oats.-Cari Pretsers Weekly.
A KENTUCKY teacher writes to ask
whether it is @the Duty of teacher to
whip pupil hard Nuff to cut the
blud out or Mott. "--Neao York Tele-
gram.
~DIsTRUsT that man who tells you to
distrust," says Ella Wheeler. And so
we do, Mrs Wilcox. But, on the other
hand, must we trust the man who tells
us to trust? Not by jug full.
INSTRUCTOR examining geometrical
figures on the board 81 don't under
stand these constructions. Student
VERY we'll; I'll see you after recita-
ton and explain them to you"
AN awkward misconstruction Young
Farmer-"Are you fond of beasts. Miss
Gusherton?" Miss Gusherton-"O
really, MIR. Pawker, if you mean this
as declaration, you must speak to
mamma.
OF Mr.. Criscross and his girl: Moth
err am afraid Mr.. Criscross is not
serious in his attentions. Daughter
HE is awfu1ly bashful, you know, but
he's Offering himself piecemeal. Last
night he wanted me to take his arm
DELMoNICo said: Every few people
understand how to cook water" We
should think the best way would be to
boil it. Still, some people may prefer
it roasted or fried. It's purely mat
ter of aste.-Philadelphia Call.
"MY DEAR" said a sick man to his
wife, @how does the doctor say l am get
ting along?" very nicely, indeed"
Does he think / am entirely out of
danger?" "Oh, yes" well. then,
you had better have him and the minis
ter discontinue their visits. Ear.
"YEs SIR" said the entomologist, Il
can tame flies so that when / whistle
they will come and alight on my hand"
"Pshaw," said the bald-headed man,
"that's nothing. They come and ahght
on my head without any whistling,"
The entomolognt sat down.-Somer-
Uille Journal.
WHEN man is working for his
board, and his employer issues a circu-
lar cutting down all wages 80 per cent.
then, indeed, you may say the shadow
Of hard times is upon us, and that man
is justified in resorting to extreme
measures Batrdette.
"WHAT did Cain say when the Lord
asked him where his brother WASP"
asked an Austin Sunday teacher.
None of the boys answered, but the
smallest boy in the class snapped his
fingers and said: 1--WE forgot what
Cain said, but l know he sassed the
Lord back. "-TeTas SJtingS.
FAIR Philistine-"Y Yes, we've just re-
turned from visit to Antwerp, and of
course we saw Rubens' great picture at
the cathedral. 1 don't like it bit. I
never yet saw any picture by him did
like" Artist more In sorrow than in
anger)-"P erhaps you have not come
across the best examples of. that great
MASTER" Fair Philistine-Perhaps not.
By-the-by, there was one Rubens there
/ liked. Artist very much relieved)-
"Ah! there was one. Pm glad to hear
that" Fair Phillstine-"Y es; it was a
picture of his death, painted by some
body else. Judy.
FACING THE MUSIC.
His hair was gray, his step infrm.
And life was rounding out its term.
Into his H. art had SORROW come:
lie knew the burning thirst for rum
His friends had changed, and yet a few
Were sCill in friendship firm acd true.
His tears had poured like summer-showers
Upon the graves OF faded flowers;
beneath the daisy breeding sod
There lie his hostages to pod-
His wife and children, all the ties
That bind a man TO Paradise
Thus chastened for the sinners good,
The aged man in pennance stood.
Until there came the mighty call
Which maketh towards of Us all
Emboldened by years and pride
lie met the simmons. and he-dyed