The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1884-08-09
MrsCELLAHroUs.


AS Jay Could income is estimated
TO be % minute, q .statistician says
that he lost &l35 by the change from
solar to standard time.
"A society has been formed in Hart
ford, Conn, toprovide harmless amuse-
ments for young men. 1t is known as
the Union Recreative Company, and
has capital of $4,000 in twenty-five
dollar shares. 1t will charge forlunches,
tobacco and billiards, but will have no
Intoxicating liquors or gambling.
The organ of the bachelors is wor-
ricd to find out why woman will spend
six weeks putting scallops on her dress
that nobody but herself will ever get
glimpse of. aud then run about the
neighbo: hood in an old dirty wrapper
without any belt, and every other but
ton burst of.-Fremont (Neb. Herald.
During her latest visit to America,
Patti pieced ''crazy quilt, six feet
square, composed entirely of bits Of
plush and velvet, Of which no two
were alike in color, and not one larger
than one of her hands. She took il
home with her, ITO line it with swans
at swell charity fair"
The Washington Capital says that
Mr.. Chaffee, father-in-iaw of Ulysses
Grant, Jr., could have saved $500, 0OC
of the $500, 900 in the bank of Grant &
Ward. but the recovery of this sum
would have pressed close on the good
name of his son-in-law, so he refused
and lost all of it; but he is still . man
of wealth and will not suffer.
But do know that when q rich
Teddy is caught a-pilferin', they saw:
'.Poor soul! She's . kayleptOmaniac' T;
while If q poor devil of q pickpocket is
caught workin' the shop-iiftin> racket.
they says: "Lock him up, the thief!'
Now. if anybody ever had the kaylepto-
mayney, it surely was me. for l don't
remember when didn't steal, or didn't
want to.--A Reformed Thief in San
Francisco Chronicle.
Not long ago . big whale go,
stranded on one of the Shetland
Islands. A venturesome small boy
thought he was dead, and sat down on
his snout The whale showed that he
objected to this liberty by giving a
sport-which sent the small boy flying
into the water fifty feet away. When
he swan ashore he knew more about
whales than he ever did before.
Cousin Alice-They tell me, Tom.
that you can be heard mile OF when
on duty. How is it you can't speak
above whisper when you talk to me
Captain Tom (much smitten but rather
neryous)- Well-or-you see, haven
any authority over you; buff you'd
give me the prospect OF having it some
day I think you'd find can make
plenty of row. Would you believe it
She did.-London Judy.
The Susquehanna River and Ches
apeake Bay are said to be literally
swarming with small herring, and the
hauling seines are taking them in any
quantity desired. The supply is far il
excess Of the demand for this kind o.
herring, and the fishermen are glad tc
dispose of them at any price. Hun
dreds of barrels of fish have been al
lowed to escape from the seines. anC
many thousands of them have beer
hauled away by the farmers in HARTFORD
and Cecil counties to be used rs com
post. A great many have been saltet
and smoked and the supply of curet
herring will be large. But few shad
however. are being caught. The gil
boats are doing SO little that only = few
of them fish at all, and they get eigh
or ten shad or two hundred or thre
hundred herring night. -PAitade!phi'
Press.