davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
DemoraIized by His SURROUNDINGS.

KANSAS Cry, November 2s.-James G.
Pussy, Chief Clerk of the Kansas State
Pe~nitentiary at Leavenworth, has disap-i
peared, under the charge of defrauding the
State out of about 5000, by means OF false
vouchers. An examination of his books
may show further defalcations. Pusey was
formerly connected with the Missouri Pa
ciic Railroad, at st. Louis, and it is thought
he has gone toward Old Mexico.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

The reputed site Of the Garden Of
Eden, at the junction of the Tigris and
E~uphrates, is now a sterile tract, where
the only vegetable life consists of q
clump of date trees, neal a very small
and dirty village called Gtrna, at which
the Turks maintain a garrison and
telegraph Office. The inhabitants
point out to. strangers the Tree
of Knowledge-a most sickly specimen,
bearing d small green berry which
certainlycauses even ago at to turn away
In disgust.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
e~annibaIism at Sea.

LEwEs, DEL, November 2s.-The stories
told by Bertrand and Hansen, the pilot
and seaman blown out to sea, and picked
up by the schooner Emma T. Angel. both
agree that the flesh of Swanson, their dead
companion, was eaten. Bertrand, however,
denies that he partook of it. Hansen ad-
mits that he ate pieces of Swanson's flesh,
and thinks Bertrand did.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Pennsylyapi,

The Pennsylvania Railroad has
been trying the experiment of testing
the amount of coal used by locomotives
at different rates of speed, and have de-
monstrated the fact that a locomotive
running a train at usual express time,
used 6,725 pounds of coal, while a slow
train running the same distance, with
the same cars, at twelve miles per hour,
used only 4,420 pounds, a saving of
2,305 pounds, which goes to show that
it does not pay to run fast trains, not
only on account of the waste of coal.
but also on account of the wear and
tear of machinery and rails.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
One Of the Buzzards cautured.

LANCASTER, Pa, November 29.-The
posse in pursuit of the thieves who robbed
Shifer's jewelry store, at Bowmansville,
last night, supposed to be the Buzzard
gang, came upon them at the edge of a
swamp this afternoon, after a chase oil
twenty miles. The thieves were four in
number, Abe Buzzard, Joe. Buzzard and
two others. They were fired upon. Finally
Joe Buzzard, cut off from the rest, was
captured and lodged in jail.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Donea at a Railway Crossing.

SAN RAFEL, CAL, November 2s.-While
crossing the track last night, a buggy
which contained six men was struck by the
engine of a passenger train. b. Thomas
and Edward O,Donnell were killed. George
Hardy fatally injured, and Frank Dono-
vans arm was broken. The two other &C.
cupants of the buggy escaped injury.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Distinguished Central American Dead.

NEW oRLEANs, November 2s.-General
Miguel Guadiar a distinguished citizen of
Central America, and COMMISSIONS from
the Republic of Costa Rica to the Worlds
Industrial Exposition, soon TO open in this
city, died suddenly this evening aboard the
steamer City of Merida, q few
miles below New Orleans. Cen
eral Guadia. having made all the
arrangements relative to an exhibit. from
Costa Rica here, left this evening on the
City of Merida. When about twenty
miles from towna shout was heard from
his state-room, and ON breaking it open
rida returned at once to New Orleans with
the body, which was turned over to the
managers of the Exposition.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Cigar Makers uu in Arms.

KEY WEST, FLA, November 30.-There
is great excitement among the cigar manu-
factnrers on account of the provisions of
the commercial treaty between Spain and
the United States, reducing the duty on
and meetings ave been called.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Treasure Trove.

DANvILLE, Pa, November 30.-Two men
digging roots on an island in the Susque-
hanna River struck a metal box containing
coins amounting to nearly 81, 900, includ-
ing $4,000 In Mexican silver dollars, $50, 900
small silver coins.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

writes: q am now usinga box OF HENRY,s
CARBoLIc SALvE upon an ulcer. My ulcer
was caused by yaricose veins, and was pro-
nounced incurable by my doctors. HENRY's
CARBoLIC SALvE is effecting acure.n
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

TESTED BY TINE. For Throat Diseases,
Colds, and Coughs, BRowN's BRONCHIAL
TRocHEs have proued their efficacy by a test
of many years. Sold only In boxes.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Poisoned HerseIf and cbudren.

VANDALIA, ILL.,, November 2S.-It is re-
ported here that Nancy Miller, u widow
living south of here, in ill health and des-
titution, yesterday poisoned herself and
two children, all three dying.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
ouarreled Over a Thanksgiving Dinner.

GLEN, N. Y, November 2S.-Mrs Julia
Colnon, of this place quarreled with her
husband over the preparation of a Thanks
giving turkey dinner, and afterward COM
mitted suicide by taking strychnine.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

THE artists who embellish this city from
time to time with brilliant coats of red
paint never use water colors.-LotceH Cii.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Shot al a Black spot,, KiIIIna a Man.

SYRACUSE, N. Y, November 2s.-Last
evening Norris Eaton, a farmer of the
town of Manlis, who has been annoyed by
skunks stealing chickens, shot at a black
spot in a straw stack, and killed an I'M
known man hidden there.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Sunk and Twenty Persons Drowned.

LONDON, November 2s.-The bark Luke
Bruce was in collision with the steamer
Durango in the English Channel. The
Durango sank. Twenty persons were
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
The Weeks Failures.

NEW YORK, November 2s.-Failures the
last seven days in the United States, 292:
Canada, n; total, 249. This is a decrease
of %, as compared with last week.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

PIXIES TooTHAcHE DRoPs cure in minute, Csc.
Glenn's Sulphur Soupheals and beauties. CSC.
GERMAN CORN REMOVER kills Corns 4 Bunions.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

Evidently of Celtic origin - the
Observation-Disclosures Tribune. Same
with the McErel, too.-Chicago ,Sun.
And why not add the PATRIOT
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

SOME of the Florida hotels are going t.
the clerks stud.-Bariiagton Free Press.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

THE man who akeeps" his word never
speaks.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

A vIoLINIsr ought to cultivate. his arr
with great fiddle-ity. sd
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

-aRough on Coughs" Troches, I5c; LIQUID, Csc,
Tor Coughs, Colds, Sore Throat, Hoarseness.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

Singing, inflammation, all Kidney and Urin.
AIRY Complaints, cured by "Buchupaiba." 81.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

Trough on Pain" Porous Plaster, for Back
ache, Pain in the Chest, Rheumatism. CSC.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
STATE NEWS ITEMS.

4 nnn anoan IaTE4 mann mn nEnnr1T1n0 N
ON tbat nretart. ba sk,n,,ad ont and has NOT
| since been heard from
-
- iiss 1,..
rss.s.;st;n~ - la -" winch
pnnaI an,.s go oa.m,. :. ....-
800 ~ .sloon .u~"s
- W;u;.- IN. ~
~ 49,. - 49,. 49, CaNN
~ 49, ~ usM"'
NJ 49, !, .sIae - Az
8
"A.LAcs' . woman WIN a
tissue cnaracter In Cieveiano, was kiled
ny = bartender named Lon Filns because
sne refused 70 pay 1or drinks she received.
ROWLAND MoMuLLEN, formerly Of Ports
mouth, was found dead in bed the other
morning in O house ON George street, Gin
cinnati.
TIE natural gas wells at Findlay are q
success. The gas proves good for fuel and
light.
JOHN MAXWELL, physician, tried to kill
himself and four children in Cleveland, by
administering chloroform and aconite. One
child is dead and the others may die, while
Maxwell is out of danger. in Jail charged
with murder.
D1pHrHERrA and typhoid fever are prev
alent in Gallon. and deaths are alarmingly
freouent.
A rHnEE-YEAR-oLp SON Of Simon Scar
foos, near Findlay, burned to death by its
clothing taking FIRE from the crate.
Mps m n pr.n,ov un.e -. ...
. g. - r.;.aaSsI yUasrs~s
=. 49,
u---
of Gallon, died the other morning, after an
Illness of only four days.
WILLIAM HARRIS was fatally stabbed In
street brawl in Cincinnati,a few days ago.
John Ryan was arrested on suspicion of
being the assailant.
Ar a dance in Florida. Henry County
the other night, a quarrel between two
brothers named Mowerv and William Nan.
GER resulted IN DANGER shoot;no ona ~ the
Mowervs in the left braas Il which win
probably nrove fatal. Tho other Movarv
had a finger shot Of and Danvar was sbat
a. tha neor .nd co,t.r.hora hroL.n NJ
$500 80
PATENTS were issued recently 70 ONO
Snrin@es,S 80 anata. msans
$500 na.s,.sI 49,
ts..ssaJass q m 80. TAai.u.t
g. an sn,.a.,.. - I.~as'
E;.r;nrar - r,nSaS;na 4s-sSD
da~ica sor No. ~ n,,osas W. 80 q
n Folt ~ Prvan For hraaah-,aaa;a.
era.erm Joh1 Ha,Iah.a - Ta,asa rs
a wrench. Wm.W. HUGHES of rrh.n.
for ! hand-trncL w n Esntaa ~ prusa
for a vapor stove. w. 81. Munford. of
Anna. for a ~leyelinr instrument. T, q
Qnayle, of Cleveland, for, an embalmers,
and undertakes, cabinet. w. ]. Scott. Of
Roscoe, for afence. e.. d.. Shepardson.
of Bellevue. !. for 7feed-water
san,,..e. mn a-wa'e
for . ho,s. h.vr.haI q m r.,ss
of N.noIaon tor. w;ndon,-haad f.staS~~
John Wssysr Of East I3vernoo, sor
brick .k;tn-
So
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

AGRArE singer-The tea-kettle.-Masical
Monthly.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

THE popular dentist is in everybody'a
mouth. ~
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

sRough on Corns." 15c, Ask for it. Complete
cure, hard or soft corns. warts, buniops.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
What IS caiarrh7

What Is catarrh7
It is o disease of the
mucus m~embrane,gen-
orally originating in
the nasal passages and
maintaining its strong.
hold In the head. From
this point It sends forth
o poisonous virus along
the membranous lin.
ings and through N
digestive organs, cor.
ruptfng the blood and
producing other troub-
lesomc and dangerous
symptoms.
Cream Balm is q
remedy based upon a
correct diagnosis of
this disease and can be
depended upon. so cts.
at druggists; 60 cts. by
e by mail 10 cts. ELY
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

PnS-srEvr thoughts ought Il be well
sifted.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Earthquake In switzerland

GENEVA, November 2s.-Seyeral violent
shocks of earthquake were felt here last
night.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

SWEET strains-Clear honsy.-Musical
Monthly.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

Nervous Weakness, Dyspepsia, Sexual De
biltty, cured by wells Health Remover" IL
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

We are SO thankful to say that our nursing
baby was permanently cured of . dangerous
and protracted constipation and irreeulnz5eZ
of the bowels by the use Of Hop Bitter. b ffD
mother, which at the same time restofod hG
to perfect health and strength. ~
The Parents, Rochester n. ~
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

~ None genuine without q bunch Of green
Hops on the white label. Shun all the viIelpofor
onous stun with @Hop"orAH opsrfn their name.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

GauU TYPErWRITIHG HERK Situations fgf>
lnished. Address VALENrInH Bros. Janesvtnet Wir
Treated and cured without the luils.
III Ut.E8 Book on treatment sent free A4lre.s
VkA3aOAsk Z. POND. NJ D. Aurora
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Natural History

THE RIVER WOLF, and Other Papers. by
TAME 0CKROACHES, and Other Papers, by
THE WILD HORSE and His Wanderings. Arr
FISHING ON DRY LAND, and Other Curiosities
of Natural History, by
a BEES BRAIN; The Songs of Insects; Insects
Usefult to the Farm; and Other Papers, PR01
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Science and Education

remarkable series of articles by Eminent Writers win
> JAMES ANTHONY FROUDE, on
PROF. TYNDALL, On Popu
PROF. MAX on T
CANON FARRAR, on Th
PROF. T. TERRY HUNT, on II
RICHARD A. PROCTOR, on St
e. 2. WHIPPLE, on
E. A. FREEMAN, on Oh
PAWN, on School Life
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04

against the laws of Ohio. The letter also
says that many depredations charged to
the miners are the acts of the Guards.
ETHEo other morning at two O'Clock masked
robbers entered the house of John Fritz
and wife, of Doylestown, an aged couple,
and with drawn revolvers forced the old
lady to deliver up $500, and decamped with
their Doodle. Supposed home talent.
W. G.. COOPER, of Portsmouth, has been
bound over to Court for an alleged libel on
Ex-Sherif Rieniger.
THE-other morning John r. Zimmerman.
one of the old and most respected citizens
of Salem, Columbiana County, was found
dead in bed. His wife on awaking thought
it strange that her husband, who generally
arose early, was still asleep. She endeav-
ored to awaken him, whens she found he was
cold and dead. The deceased did his usual
work the day before, and went to bed en-
joying excellent health. Heart disease in
the supposed cause of death.
GEORGE BURRIs, the s~piritualist doctor,
of Mt. Vernon, has been ~adjudged insane,
and sent to the Central Insane ASYLUM.
EDWARD LAFoos was killed at Minerva
by the premature discharge OF a cannon at
a Democratic Publication.
A NUMBER of Cincinnati tanners haS
agreed to shut down their tanneries for
such a time as is deemed necessary to ad-
vance the interests of their trade.
THANKSGIVING DAY was generally OBJ
served throughout the State.
MARTIN BoALs, yard conductor, at Mans
field, caught lis foot in the guard rail at a
switch, and, before he could extricate him.
self, he was run over by a shifting engine
and so mangled that he died soon after.
wards.
LEWIS Wisely was elected Fire Marshal
of Cincinnati in place of Joseph Bunker,
deceased. Henry Schildmeyer was made
First Assistant, and John c. Donovan
Third Assistant.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-12-04
Travel and Biography

AN EXILE'S Escape from Siberia,
STORIES OF MILL GIRLS, by a
THOSE TERRIBLE PARIsIAN5, or the Danger
GUS Glasses of Paris, by
CLEVER THINGS DONE by Journalists; or the
strategies of News Gatherers, by
ODDITIES OF JAPANESE LIFE, from a japanese
point Of view, BY
The National tribune., 1884-10-16
SCIENTIFIC CHAT.

A good cement for putting tickets on ironwork
and tin is thus made: Take rye meal little sOlu-
tion of glue and water and make paste, but not
too thick mix it with much Venetian turpen-
tine as necessary. 1t will stand water.
An ingenious farmer makes scare-crows out of
old tin cans-tonato cans and the hke-by rigging
them up with a bit of old iron suspended in them
like the tongue of bell, and hanging them up in
corn-feld where the wind will set them ringing,
making such an unusual and unexpected noise that
crows will not dare to remain in the field
The Mexican Eindncier says that one of the
best-known remedies for cholera, even in the state
known collapse IS a teaspoonful of clear chloro-
form, mixed with wineSlassful of water. 1t cured
more than 100 cases in Cuba, in 1869, within the
knowledge of one man.
The mellowness OF old wine has been found
by experiments in Germany to be due to an in
crease in the quantity of glycerne that il contains,
rather than to decrease of tannn.
Some years ago travellers in Dalmatia noticed
large tracts of land covered by wild flower, near
which not a sign of insect life visible. The
bloom was the pyrethrum, whose odor deals death
to the lower forms of life, and whose powdered
leaves form the basis of insect powders" The
seed Of this flower was distributed i'll the United
States and Dalmatian has been growing it with
great success in Stockton, Cal.
- Henry Coxwell the veteran English aeronaut,
Gays that balloonng has saved his life He attrib-
utes il to the pure oxygen he finds at hight of q
mile. 1t imparts life to him every time he
goes up, and he thinks that if means could be de-
vised for their passing unscahed through the lower
region of fogs many invalidS would benefit inn
measurably from an ascent in balloon.
A new enemy to the beet root plantations has
appeared in Sweden in the shape of the spinach
fly (Anthonyzd spiaacio). 1t has previously been
known All enemy to spinach, but this year it has
also attacked the beetroot plant.
- Mr. O. r. Talmage, of Savannah, has invented
@ machine that he is confident will navigate the air
without any difficulty. He calls 1t a steam bird.
The National tribune., 1884-10-16
Educating the Indians.

The third annual report of Special Agent
Haworth. Superintendent of Indian Education,
which was presented to Secretary Teller ON the
29th ult., shows that during the past year five
new boarding schools, IL new day schools and
three new industrial schools have been opened
for the education of the Indians. The indus
trial schools were opened at Genoa, Neb, and
Chilocco and Lawrence, Kan. Numerous addi-
tions have also been made to the agency schools.
The enrolment and attendance at the schools
is greater than ever before. There are now 80
boarding schools, 76 day schools and six indus
trial schools under Government supervision in
operation. Outside of the Government schools
there are two boarding and 80 day schools in
New York under State supervision and % mis-
sionary schools. The list does not include the
schools in Indian Territory. The capacity of
Government boarding schools is $685. of day
schools. 3.2S3-a total of 9.90S. The capacity
of the agency boarding schools is 5,O27; of day
schools, 32S3. The enrolment at boarding
schools has been 1856; at the day schools.
2. $3.50, with an average attendance at the board
ing schools of 3,519 and at the day schools Of
1,75S. The enrolment. it will be seen, is within
76 of the full capacity. The increase in attend
ance at the agency schools last year was 1,04l,
and the increase of the industrial schools added
makes the increase over the previous year of
331 per cent.
The National tribune., 1884-10-16

no door flew open, and he made no noise. He
was wildly excited. and waved his arms about
his head.
The moment saw him my heart fell within
me. With the entrance of that impertinent
appartion every hope fled from me. 1 could
not speak while he was in the room.
/ must have turned pale, and l gazed stead
fastly at the ghost, almost without seeing
Madeline, who sat between us.
"Do you know" he cried, that John Hinck-
man is coming up the hill? He will be here in Is
minutes, and if you are doing any thing in the
way of love-making you had better hurry it
up. But this is not what came to tell you.
have glorious news! AT last l am transferred
Not 40 minutes ago Russian nobleman was
murdered by the Nihiiists. Nobody ever
thought of him in connection with an immedi-
ate ghostship. My friends instantly applied
for the situation for me, and obtained my
transfer. / am off before that horrid Hinck-
man comes up the hill. The moment l reach
my new position l shall put off this hated
semblance. Good-by. You can't imagine how
glad am to be at last the real ghost of some
body.
"Oh III cried, rising to my feet and stretch
ing out my arms in utter wretchedness, Il
would to Heaven you were mne!"
al am yours" said Madeline, raising to me
her fearful eyes.
The National tribune., 1884-10-16
OCTOBER ODDITIES.

80 you are the new girl, ;" said the boarders to
the pretty waiter iassi and what name are We to
toss of her head. "ohI" asked the smart boarder.
are you the pearl of great price?" " No; am
the pearl that cast before swine, retorted the
pretty waiter. There was long silence. broken
only by the buzz of the flies in the milk pitcher.
- Wifely assistance: Hubby, dear, I hope
dcn't intrude? p" " Well you know, am immersed
in study; but never mind, as you have come, just
obliCe me by looking up Hamlet in that big vol
ume up yonder. | want a reference" Wife turn
ing over the leaves)-" Hamlet Hamlet isn't here,
love- Good gracious! wherever are you look
ing?" Wife (slighty hurt - Why, where do you
think" In the directory, OF course !"-Schweizsr
Zsitung.
First young lady: "why, Jennie, you dear
have have Swee' Won been? ~ To e. Chicago 20 Laura And
did you like it out there? You married, didn'.
your" "Oh, yes" Did you do well?" Pretty
well, though not rs well as expected The court
only allowed me $50 month alimony." What
q shame, "-PittsbuTg Telegraph
What did you get out of that case?" asked tho
old lawyer " got my client out of it, replied the
young And what did he get out of it ?"
Satisfaction, | reckon. | didn't leave anything
else for him to get" Young man" said the
senior proudly, you'll never be Judge. There
is not enough money on the bench for you. Bur
lington Hd,pkeye.
red headed and cross-eyed old maid of Chicago
of 81 Summers who spelled kiss" with IA /" c."
has eloped with n coachman, in order to have her.
self described IN the local papers beautiful and
accomplished young girl of I6 with wealthy pa,
diamonds as big US hens eggs, and q voice like an
angel-TrOy Times.
wife because when he asked her if his new hat
didn't make him look like donkey she replied.
Not any more than usual. al."-Ne,O York Graphic.
-" Yes" said a Fourth street merchant, Il
always mark the most expensive of my goods
sold Then when the women read the sign it
makes them crazy to- have the same article and
try and get them another Oh It's great scheme"
-Logansport Phdros
The National tribune., 1884-10-16
Nafnre-s Wise Provisions.

Lfmekttsi Cittb an The Detroit Free PressI
ave hev Summer" said the orator, rs he
pulled down his vest, in order dat watermel-
lyons may ripen, an we hev Winter dat pos
sums may ,fatten up. We hev l6.456 changes
of weather in de course of var, in order to
accommodate all minds as fur as possible We
hev moonlight nights for sich pussons as am
behindhand in hoein' corn sawin' wood, an
we hev dark an cloudy nights fur de benefit of
burglars. cats. and gas companies. Natur
didn't make de kentry all mountains nor all
prairie, kase she realized dat de scenery would
be monotonous Had de sile bin all sand we
could hev raised muffin but sweet taters Had
it bin all clay we should hev run largely to
wheat, and crowded the price down to 16 cents
per bushel. De ocean was made salty SO dat de
cOrpses of horses, cows dogs an cats dumped
into it off COney Island wouldn't interfere wild
de seaside hotel bizness De lakes war made
fresh in order dat Chicago an Buffalo might
once in a while change deir drinks. Fack am
my hearers, man am a mighty slimsy grain of
sand when compared to natur'! While she has
made eberythin' fur the bes' an in de bes way,
de wisest man on airth had he bin giben de
job of maxim yeller dog, would hev got de
fore an hind legs all mixed up an left dc tail
off altogether"