St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-11-28
HUMOROUS EXCERPTS.

Customer-"How often am to take this
mixture?''
Duggist-''Three times a day, after
meals
Customer-"But, mister, only get one
meal in two days. "-Judge.
''Hsve you seen my new playl''
''saw ii last night"
"What do you think Of itl'
Il have seen better, but it might have
been a great deal worse"
''YesP'
alt might have been longer. New York
Graphic.
An Austin man came to the doctor and
asked him to examine his arm.
"When did you sprain it!''
81 sprained it yesterday"
docs it occasion you any serious incon-
yenence:"
"WeIl, / should say it did. Tried to take
a drink of whisky out of u tBo-gallon demi-
john yesterday aud l couldn'tl iIt it up TO my
mouth. Teas SltingS.
De Brown was making an evening call
and In the course of the conversation the
young woman asked him If he intended 10
visit the chrysanth~mum show.
81 didn't know, y'know,'. he said, 'that
there WAS to be a-a-er-such a show.''
80, yes" she replied, sit opens very
soon.'
"Well, bah Joye, III have 10 take it in.
I'm very fond Of these Greek burlesques,
y'know, but fellsh cawn't stawnd Adonis
every night. Do you-ah-know who will
take the part of Chrys-Chys Z"
''ChrysanthemumP
'Ya-as."
''No, don't know Is said the tired young
Ia I.aA IA. h.lI L.
ice water-New York Nal aud Express.
One day when Uncle Daniel Drew was in
the zenith OF his power, So to say, a gentle
man stopped him on the street and said:
''Mr. Drew, believe you are a Christian
mani"
"Well, yes" answered the Spectator.
Then l ask you to DO the right thing by
me. A month ago / sold you soue Blank Il
Blank railroad stock at 3s. In two weeks it
jumped to 60. 1t 10 only fair that you should
present me with at least 81, 000.'i
MY Christian friend" replied Uncle
Daniel, with lonesome squint OF his left
eye, 81 remember that transaction. Next
day after buying the bonds concluded that
l had made \ fool offmyself, and therefore
resold for 35. Let US Embrace aud console
each other aud divide my loss between US.
- Wall Street NelCs.
Extract from an eloquent French EDITORS
leading article:
1.-The government thus has endesvored to
make the revision OF the constitution aspiring
board that would serve as 4 vehicle Tor the
gilded pill OF the Tonquin expedition
The doctor has for his patient an honora-
bic gentleman afflicted with apparently in
durable spleen. In vain does the prince OF
medical science endeavor TO arouse his pa
tent into healthlul activity.
ATTEND the chamber regularly. Take
part In the debates"
80, political discussion is a bore.'
''Set about getting z fat place or some
thing for somebody; run down officials; in-
woke influence; stir yourself up; it's as well
to do it that way as any other"
But there are none Of my relations IN
provided for"
LET that make no diTerence-fnd the fat
place for me. ''-PGris F,garo.
Dark was the silly nlgat, and the distant
glare Of electric lights and the occasion. - Ii
fui fash OF November meteor on.y served
10 deepen the shadows of the massive br8cS
buildings which line Fourth av. nue., w.cn
two Pittsburg attorneys ran into each otter.
80, is it you, r. A. 90 said one; and was
Immediately answered by deep yes"
Say" continued the first speaker in q
mysterious voice, did you hear that st-ry
about '2SS to-dayF'
no." answered the other excitedly; "whai
is itan
10, it's too gross-too gross entirelyr' re-
| piled his companion in u mOurniu. voice.
Tell away" resumed the. first, ''and I'll
! try to stand it. ii must hear such dread
full things / must.'
"Weh," exclaimed his friend, GA is one
gross, and 2SS IS two gross, isn't it!''
A meteor shot across the skv ike fash o!
| lightning--a thud-a moan cnuckle- a
DARK iorIa ST allng away IN dsrkuess-and
| all was Silent ..l.5srQ Di.latch.