Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-05-01
HUM0RS.

The girl Of the Periodically Tics.
The disease of the meter-gas trick
fever.
One goose may be told from an
other by the difference of pinion.
Some of the girls are thinking of
green grass and warm sunshine to
come. II is for lawn hope
1t makes a red nosed man very an
CRY to have a little girl ask him
in the presence of Others if it hurts
any.
Why is a United States Treasury
note like caterpillar? Because
it is hard to counterfeit. (Count-her-
feet)
DR.. Mary Walker says she will
wear trousers or nothing. We guess
it IS better as it is She may keep
them on.
What are pauses2" asked the
teacher of the primary class. Things
that grow on cats, " piped the small
boy at the foot.
An obituary notice contains the
touching intelligence that the deceas-
ed had accumulated little money
and ten children"
There are three terrible diseases
now before married men, namely:
spring fever, spring bonnets and
spring house cleaning
a man and his wife had little
difficulty in the kitchen the other
day, and presently matters became
so quiet that you could hear a rolling
pin drop.
A woman always carries her purse
in her hand SO th0t other women will
see it; man carries his in his inside
pocket 50 that his wife won't see it.
Ordered to clear the court, an Irish
crer at Ballinasloe did SD by this an
nouncement; Now, thin al We black
guards that isn't lawyers must leave
the court.
Yes" sighed old Mrs. Gumbo,
that accident was horrible When
read about it, it exaggerated me so
that couldn't decompose myself for
several hours
why, Sam, how do you expect to
ge that mule along with spur only
on one side2' Sam, well, boss, if |
gets dat side to 90, ain'tde underone
boun' to keep up2"
Young man to druggist Can you
give me anything TO remove super
tluous hair2' Druggist, (thoughtfully
scratching his bald head) Hem why
don't-you get married."
Sunday--school teacher who
made the world2' (No answer) S. S.
t" Tut, TUT None of you know
that2 / say, who made the world?'
Small boy-''Please, sir, it wasn't
me"
81 don't think much of that. =" said
waiter scornfully, as he picked up
two cent piece given him by custom
err Neither do /, replied the Gus
toner, otherwise l shouldn't have
given it to your
DO you suppose eatiug.angel-cake
will make an angel of me?' asked a
seraphic young lady Of the worldly
young man. I've no doubt it will, "
he answered, iii you eat enough Of
Chicago boasts of a lady, now
ninety four years old, who used to sit
in George Washington's lap. 1t is
to know that even if
George couldn't tell lie he used to
have some fun with the girls.
A Chicago woman remarked her
husband from whom she had been di-
vorcel, and then got mad because he
would not take her on bridal tour.
A new book entitled, "W hat Can
q Woman Dom An answer to the
question can be found by asking most
any baldheaded man. Newman indie
pendent.
Oh, where is the friend of my breast2
Oh. why am feeling so sad?
Oh, why is this cold vague unrest?
I've done lost my dear liver pad,
Evansville Argus.
When two young ladies kiss each
other they fulfil gospel injunction,
They are doing unto each other what
they would that men should do unto
them.-Electric Light.
1T seems to me, moaned Algeron,
as he flew toward the front gate with
the old man close behind him, that
there are more than three feet in the
yard. "-Philadelpaia Call.
A fashion magazine has an article
on what will the coming girl
wear?n If the article refers to the
servant girl of the future, she will
probably wear the best the land af-
fords.
Yes, he sald 81 was absolutely
astonished when Mr.. Goneworth asked
me to go aud take drink Why, it
so astonisled me that utterly lost ny
presence Of mind. I declined, sirl -
Boston Post
A neighboring paper, reporting
recent social says: The opening piece
was rendered By mule quartette
The reporter wrote it male quar-
tette," but the compositor knew bet
ter. -Ol. City Derrick.
Oh. MaDe was pretty and had rich pa;
She was dainty and modest you could easily
But sfe always would murrsur l seen for II
saw,