Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-04-28
BRIGHT BITS.

THE little boy who often went sliding last
winter, against his mothers will, says that he
frequently met with large number of whales
just of the cOast.-Burlington Free Press.
A POET sends contribution entitled "Why
do Live :" This is easy TO answer. Il Is be-
cause he sends his contributions to this office
instead of bringing them in person.-EUdns-
ellie Argus.
"ARE you paralyzed, my friend?" kindly
inquired a pnilanthrOpist of a youth whose
fingers were pointing in ten different direc-
tions. ''No, sir" he proudly replied, Pm a
professional base ball player. '-Nel0 YORK
Journal.
JOHN" said the tobacconist to his assist
ant, "when gentleman asks you to pick out
good cigar for him, give hum one of these
them. but that is not why | want to sell all
can Of them. Not at all. The reason is this
There is great prejudice in favor of tobacco
as against cabbage leaves, in this country.
and I'm determined to break it down, if it
brings me in a fortune"
BISHOP CLARK. writing in the independents
SAYS: "A student in the AndOver Seminary
whom well knew and who afterward be-
came a very useful minister, was suspended
for while, because OF the OHense that he
gave when II came his turn to return thanks
at the close OF the common dinner, by ventur
ing to suggest that, If 1t were consistent with
the divine purpose, IL would be gratifying to
have some improvement in the fare"
SAMUEL II. CLEMENS, mark Twain" is a
member of the Rev. Mr.. Twtchell's church
in Hartford and so was the late Ex-Governor
Marshall Jewell. But the Ex-Governor was
"higher up in the church, as the humorst
expressed it, and used to pass around the
plate. One day Mark Twain SAID to the eX-
Governor, "See here, Governor, they let you
collect the donations. but they never would
let me do it," sob yes, they would" said the
Ex-Governor, adding, shat is with a bell
I0Hnch.-HdrDer's Bdsdr.
IN the lawyers Office: Lawyer-s"There are
a couple of insolvency cases, | believe ."
Clerk-''Yes, sir; here is the TOmtOm case,
assets and liabilities about even. Tomtom
thinks he will be able to pay dollar for dollar
# his creditors will only let up on him for
thirty or sixty DAYS" Lawver-"That's a
anything. What's the other p Clerk
"Plumplum' liabilities 100000, assets moth
ing" Lawyer-"Ah that's better. He'll
pull through all right. That mans got bust
ness tact and first rate financial ability"
Il WISH very much you would settle this
little bill,' said a bill collector, walking into
the sanctum Of an Austin journalist. The
editor glanced fearlessly at the document and
exclaimed: Little bill! Why, man alive,
this bill IS nearly twice as much as | agreed to
so per cent, and then perhaps I'll pay it, some
time next spring." 1--WE can't do that
The Legislature is in session now, and we
have good deal of business with them; we
calculate that only one man in two pays, so
for that reason we have to make out the bills
for twice the amount ''Then regard me as
one of the men who don't pay" In that case
you will be placed in the same category with
members of the Legislature" The editor SEEM
ed absorbed in thought Finally, he heaved a
great sigh, and murmuring: 81 wouldn't do it
if it wasn't for my family" he pulled out a
large roll of bank notes and picking out five
dollar bill, handed it over to the enemy, and
thus prevented stigma being placed upon
his reputation - eSdS lS{TtinQS.