davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1884-11-06
WOman's Exchange.

Sally Jones, Boomer, Wis: For an infant
of q it is a remarkable sally" hut we must
insist upon spelling it with an "i.''
Soldiers Orphan Girl: Ii there is any such
from IL 10 ID who would like home with
good soldiers family, and have the privilege
of school, church, Sabbath-school, etc, let her
address Grandmother winters, through THE
TEIEIvEE
The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1884-11-06

Ayers Pills are efectual in wide range of
diseases which arise from disorders of the
stomach and digestive organs. They are a
convenient remedy to have always at hand
They are sugar-coated, easy to take, effective
to operate sure to bring relief and cure.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
The Millionaire.

Who is this Woodworking mani This
is the millionaire, the man who wanted
to be rich and has got rich, and is get
pier for it? Happy? Bless your soul,
he's more miserable, fuller of cares
and anxieties and harder worked than
ever. He is the veriest slave of them
all. He is pushed with business and
business is pushing him. He has so
many irons in the fire that some of them
are burning his fingers while others are
getting cold. His present life is rush
from the meeting of this board to that
board and thence to some other board.
He is director in this company and
trustee in that and silent partner in
another, world without end, and more
coming. He hasn't time to eat and
hardly to sleep, and when he does lay
his poor head on the pillow he can't
stop business plans and schemes, hopes
and fears from whirling and whirring
through it. He can't take day to
spend in quiet out of town, and If he
could he would take all of his business
with him into the woods. He is slave
and a victim. His millions in bank
don't bring him so much enjoyment as
does q new ten-cent piece given to a
boy 10 years old. He's infected with
the mania for getting, and the more he
gets the more he wants. Ii you could
see him just as he is and where he is in
eyitably going, and how he is going
there, you would only pity him. He is
one of the coming victims of dementia
paralytica, the prevalent ailment
among so many Wall street men,
GrQDhic
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
Wanted No Stock.

SCOT something interesting here"
said west-bound passenger. who was
lust returning from an extensive tour
in the old world. See thatr' and he
pulled out of a travelling bag a chunk
of solid, heavy mortar, nearly white in
color Don't come none of youI
games on me, said the fellow traveller
to whom the specimen had been
handed, testify. You can't take me
in on any mining schemes. I've seen
mineral specimens before. S'pose this
ASSAYS $11, 900 a ton. and you would
like to sell me some stock, Just as
favor, because you've taken a liking to
me, ehP Well, you have tackled the
wrong customer, nv friend. was bit
once, and | never takes two chaws from
rotten apple. What, it isn't mineral
specimen? You don't want to sell me
any mining stock? What in thunder is
il, then?" '.It's a piece of mortar
about six thousand years old that i
picked out of the northeast corner Of
the Great Pyramid of Egypt three
months ago. replied the tourist.
..Goshr' calculated the other, as
thought | saw his suspicious, smart
aleek air change to an expression OF
genuine awe in the presence of such
great antiquity. But | was mistaken:
the ruling passion OF the once-swindled
man was strong even IN the shadow OF
Cheops, and he 5iurted out: '.Well,
you can't sell me any stock in the
Great Pyramid, sir. Put your darned
specimen back in your valise. Can't
catch me on any of these schemes, sir. ;"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
The Newest Thing i'll Swindling.

The newest swindle is a girl. She
was in a telegraph office writing mes
sage. She wore mourning clothes,
which were strikingly neat and cheap.
"Will you please tell me-" she said to
a bystander, show can condense this
message to ten wordsP | don't wish to
have to pay anything extra" This is
what she had written on the blank: Il
ara friendless here; have only dol
lar left. Send some money" The I'M
impressionable narrator looked her
squarely in the face, and found it charm
ing, but not to a delusive degree. The
pallor was artificial, and the dolorous
expression was mimicry. Every day
for week she had written that same
message, without ever sending it over
the wires. but with more or lesssuccess
in exciting lucrative sympathy.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
respectfully,
Little Johnny's Natural History.

A ole cat she had two kittens; one
was nice Teller, but the other it was
no count, sore eyes, and one day while
the ole cat was gone the rats they
found her bed. and they ct the vel
kitn up. When the ole cat she come
home and see how it was, she was in
a nifty bad way, and she sed:
The best is always took youngest;
if that little teller had been spared he
wude ben the splendidest ratter which
was ever see. Things is ordered with
CRATE injestice in this world.
Nose, which is our cat, don't have
no kittens, but he is pretty good at
line by the stove, and wen you rub him
the rong way in the dark he strikes fire
like he was flint. Billy he asst my faith
er if Moses sparks was lecktrisity, and
my father he sed:
Il CESS SO, Billy, cos I've obserfed
that wen you tired on his tail he is
liteninr'
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
Polite BOSTON Rows.

81 hear great deal of talk" said
old Mr.. Joblingson, as he drove out
into the country, the other day, in or
der to enjoy a sleigh ride with friend,
'.of the decay of manners in Ameri-
cans, and particularly in American
youth. Now l don't take much stock
in it. To be sure, when | was boy,
was taught to say sir or madam to
every man or woman who spoke to me,
and to take off my hat to every grown
person | might meet on my way to
school. Nowadays the boys are less
formal, perhaps, but are they less truly
polite? | think not. Look ut the
crowd outside the school house we are
just coming to. Did you ever see
brighter, more respectful, quieter set
of boys? Gentlemen. every one of
them, l make no doubt" The boys
were, indeed, remarkably quiet, and
when the old gentleman babe them
good day. as he and his friend skim
med by, they responded in fitting
terms What did tell you?" asked
Mr.. Joblingson, proudly, as the con-
gregation was passed. But at that in
slant a SNOWFALL came between the
heads of the pair, and, striking the
horse, set him off at dead gallop; an
other knocked off Mr.. Joblingson 8
hat; a dozen hit him and his friend on
their backs at the same instant, and as
long as they were in range they were
soundly peppered. amid the boots and
yells OF the ''quiet young gentlemen.
And when the horse was stopped and
Joblingson had picked the snow out OF
his ears and neck, he cursed the youth
of the present generation soundly for
a pack of roughs and incorrigibie ras-
ca ,.-BoSto7s Journal.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
Thought He Could Pull Through.

There arrived in Detroit the other
day, half an hour after the west bound
train over the Detroit, Grand Haven
and Milwaukee Road had departed, a
young man who was in a terrible fix.
He was on his way to village in the
interior TO get married. The day and
the hour had been set, and here he was,
fifty miles away and no show to get
there unless he hired locomotive.
Acting upon the advice of the depot
policeman the young man had an inter-
view with one of the chief officials of
the road, who offered the use OF loco
motive for $40.
That's heap of money" replied
the young man, as his enthusiasm be-
gan to ooze away.
Eyes, " said the Indifferent official.
sTll telegraph to her father and see
what he says
Very well, let me know within an
hour
In about an hour the young man re-
turned with message in his hand, and
he laid it before the official without o
word. 1t read:
"Susan changed her mind yesterday
and was married to Frank. "
''Then you won't want the locomo-
tive, of coursep'
''Of course not. 1t was lucky l
thought of telegraphing, for Pm Just
$40 ahead"
"And you don't feel bad over being
IeftP'
''Well, I'd been engaged to Susan for
thirteen years, and when l opened that
dispatch my knees wabbled bit, but |
guess it's all for the best. I'm also en-
gagged to a Toledo milliner who does a
business of $4,000 per year. and to 81
girl in Columbus who expects her aunt
to leave her $4,000, and I'm in hopes
of pulling through without going into
decline. Sorry to have troubled you,
sir, and III bid you good-day. DE
troit Free Press.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
Hearts Bent on Butter.

Elvina Mulcassady sat in the gor-
geously furnished parlors of her fathers
noble mansion, gazing irto the eyes of
the one being on earth who loved
her passionately. Though his hair
was parted in the middle he seemed
strangely intelligent. His left arm
had struggled around the waist of the
fair young girl, and her plant form
sank deep into the creases of his mark
down suit. They had been conversing,
but her lips had become entangled in
his lnustache, and conversation had
temporarily Jagged.
''Eivina, why do you look so 81 de-
grees below zero-that is to say, coldly
upon my suitP' he asked,
ssYou are bank cashier she said,
musingly, "and yet you are poor"
"But | am very honest" he replied,
eagerly.
..Then you will never be RICH" she
answered, calmly. ''Uberto, l am very
wealthy"
Il respect you for itr' he exclaimed,
warmly.
Il can never be the bride of poor
man," she said. Even now there is
q SHduO" upOH OuI HOuSts OultSS
father fails again this fall we shall be
compelled TO give up our childhood's
home and seek for board
The young cashier shuddered. Tears
started to his eyes.
"Why are you moved so strangely,
Uberto?" the young girl asked, ten
derby.
Il have been there, Elvina," he re-
piled.
':Do you wonder, then, that 1 hest
tate?" she exclaimed.
mo, Elvina, l do not blame you"
at is hard to eat cold hash, Uberto,"
she said, earnestly.
ut is" he replied, "and you would
never get second piece of pie, FL
vina.
Il am fond of pie, Uberto."
''Yet, he answered, gioomily, eft
seems hard that a clearinghouse
should sunder two loving hearts.
There is one thing we have not
thought of, Uberto," she exclaimed,
and hollow look came into her eyes;
''the butterr'
1--WE could never stand that Elvina, I"
he moaned, hoarsely.
The flat portion of your head is at
tanning great prominence, Uberto, she
replied. Chicago Tribune.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
The New Telephone Girl.

There is a new girl in the telephone
office, and she is very flip young
woman.
Hello, Central!' called a subscrib-
er the other morning.
"Hello?" came the answer.
Give me the National New Haven
Bank, he said.
"What?n
"Give me the National New Haven
Bank" he said.''
Get out! Do you want the earth?
How can 1 give you bank? amt got
10 cents to my name,' and she knock
ed the connecting link clear across the
office and began humming "Over the
Garden Wall. '-NeU HaUe1a NeaoS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
Dressing a Statue.
When the defendant took the stan

When the defendant took the stand
his Honor said:
Prisoner, you are charged with hav-
ing removed the goblet from the hand
of the Cogswell statue, substituting a
pair of two-bit suspenders, with pla-
card calling attention to your establish
ment across the way"
''Well, Shudge, " replied the offender
with an ingratiating smile, ''of CORSET
wants to get along in peesness.
AFTER which," continued the court.
sternly, 'you substituted lot of neck
ties for the suspenders, and attached to
the other hand a lot of bills referring to
yonr new stock of gum shoes and hair
OIL
''Dose hair oil is fust rate, your Hon
or, said the defendant II would like
to sell you a polite y
'.And yesterday" continued the
court, consulting the Indictment, ''you
INSTRUCTED the thoroughfares and Gre
ated disturbance by placing a paper
collar and plug hat on the statue in
question"
Schudge. Moses Levy sharges fife and
halef vor dem same kind" returned
the trader, cheerfully. Il beats dose
fellers efery dimes.
And at night" went on his Honor,
''at night it appears you place in the
figures hand transparency containing
further advertisement OF your wares.
Now, this is most improper and repre-
hensible.
DOTS right, Shudge.'' said ilr. Solo
mons, delightedly. Bitch into me. off
you please. Spheak loudt, so does
noosbaper yellers gan hear YOU" and
he smiled benignantly upon the re-
porters.
''Great Heavensi" Numbered the
court, as frightful idea struck him.
us it possible you have the mendacity
to use the machinery of this court as an
advertising dodge!''
DOTS it, dots it. Shudge!" exclaim-
ed the Cheap John, rubbing his hands
exultantly. 81 svore oud der gom-
plant myselfr'
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
manitomof pilot.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY %, 1884.
No, Thank You, Tom.

They met when they were girl and boy,
Going to school one day,
And won't you take my peg top, dearr
Was all that he could say.
She bit her little pinafore,
Close 10 his side she came.
She whispered, mol no, thank you, Tom,"
But took it all the same.
They met one day. the self same way,
When ten swift years had flown;
He said, I've nothing but my heart
But that is yours alone
nd won't you take my hearth" he said,
And called her by her name;
She blushed and said, mo, thank you, Tom,' -
But took it all the same.
And tive nty, thirty, forty years.
Have brought them care and Joy;
She has the little peg-top still,
He gave her when boy.
I've had no wealth. sweet wife," said he,
i've never brought you fame;"
She whispered, mo! no, thank you, Tom,
You've loved me all the samer'
r E Weatherly
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

Cornell University's mummy is q
truly royal mummy. 1t came from the
Metropolis at Thebes, belonging, it is
thought, to the twenty-third dynasty,
probably not far from 900 B. C. The
dried up remains of this Egyptian King
are made to do service to science in tie
New World after lapse of about 2.700
years. Egypt in his day made very lit
tie stir in the world and was fast hast
ening to its final downfall as domi-
nant empire of the world three or four
hundred years later.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
SCROFULk

and all scrofulous diseases, Sores, Erysipe-
las, Eczema, Blotehes. Ringworm, Tu-
mors, Carbuncles, Boils, and Eruptions
or the Skin, are the direct result of an
impure state of the blood.
To cure these diseases the blood must be
purified, and restored to healthy ami ma
tural condition. AYERS SARsAPARILLA has
for over forty years been recognized by emf
nent medical authorities as the most pow
erful blood purifier in existence. 1t frees
the system from all foul humors, enricles
and strengthens the blood, removes all traces
of mercurial treatment, and proves itself a
complete master of all serofulous diseases.
A Recent Cure of ScrofuIous Sores.
"Some months ago / was troubled with
scrofulous sores ulcers on nav legs. The
limbs were baC ly swollen and infamed, and
the sores discharged large quantities Of
offensive matter. Every remedy l tried
failed, until | used AYERS SARsAPARILLA,
of which L have now taken three bottles,
with the result that the sores are healed,
and my general health greatly improved.
j feel very grateful for the good your
medicine has done me.
Yours respectfully, Mrs. ANN OBRIAN."
14e Sullivan St., New York, June q, 1882.
To- All pei sons interested are invited
to call on Mrs. O'Brian; also upon the
Rev. Il. +. WiIds of rs East 54th Street,
New York City, who viii take pleasure
in testifying to the wonderful efticaey of
Ayers Sarsaparilla, not only in the cure
of this lady, but in his own case and
many others within his knowledge.
The well-known ,criter on tie Boston Hero'd,
E. W. BALL, of Rochester, Nh, writes, June
Z, 1882:
.Having suffered severely for some years
with Eczema, and having failed to find relief
from other remedies, i have made use. during
the past three months. of AYERS SARSAFA-
NILLA, which has effected a complete cure
j consider it a magnificent remedy for all
blood diseases"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

You folks don't seem to be troub-
ling US much yet" remarked the SUI
perintendent of an old railroad to the
superintendent OF q new rival line. Il
would have you TO know, was the re-
ply, THAT we make better time than
you every day, and on long trips can
beat you by a full hour" Possibly"
answered the first; "but, you see, as
there is no one 10 get on or eff, you
don't lose any time at stations
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
LOOK OUT FOR YOUR HEAD.

No matter what parts it may finally af
feet, catarrh always starts in the head,
and belongs to the head. There is no
mystery about the origin of this direful
disease. 1t begins in neglected cold
One of the kind that is ''sure to be better
in a few days" Thousands of victims
know how it is by sad experience. Ely's
Cream Balm cures colds in the head and
catarrh in all its stages. Not a snuff nor
liquid. Applied with the finger to the
nostrils.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

Rev. Mr.. Shaw, of Madagascar ce-
lebrity, writes that the British nation
bibles to its people, and with the other
introduces into the country that which
brushes out the moral and religious
life of the natives. Ten thousand bar
rels OF rum are imported on the east
coast IN one year at so cheap duty as
to be retailed al u cents quart. FIRE.
quently at shutdown whole villages are
drunk, and even little children stagger
around.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
A LAWYERS OPINION OF INTER
EST TO ALL,

EST TO ALL.
J. A. Tawney, Esq, leading attorney
of Winona, Mimi, writes: "After using
it for more than three years, 1 take great
pleasure in stating that regard DR..
Kings New Discovery for Consumption,
as the best remedy in the world for
Coughs and Colds. 1t has never failed to
cure the most severe colds have had,
and invariably relieves the pain in the
chest" Trial bottles of this sure cure for
Throat and Lung Diseases may be had
Free at Robinson & Hinrich's Drug
Store. Large size $1.00.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

CAUSE AND EFFECT. times symp
toms of indigestion are present, uneasi.
ness of the stomach, etc., a moisture
like perspira.ion, producing itching al
night, or when one is warm, cause the
Piles. The effect is immediate relief
upon the application of DR.. Bosanko's
Pile Remedy which costs you but SC
cents, and is sold by Emil Fischel or L
O. Buerstatte.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

p t. Barnum is a stakeholder in two
sewing machine companies; owns three
newspapers, two OF which are in Bridge
port; about 400 houses, numerous va
cant lots, and cattle ranch. He has
1000 vacant los in Denver A build
ing owned by him in New York paws
him rental OF sos. COZ year.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
RUCKLEN'S- ARNlCA SALyE.

The best salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblains,
corns, and oil skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles. Tt is guaranteed t,
give perfect satisfaction or money re
funded. Price Csc per box. For sale
by Robinson & Hinrichs. 16marS4
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT TT.


Ness. Robinson & HinrichS:-W take
this means of attesting our high opinion
of Hinrichs' american Corn Cure. Our
opinion of its value in removing CoY7as
and Warts is based on the fact that we
have used it and have found that it will
do just what you claim for it. AS cure
for Corns and Warts it is deserving of
the highest praise, and we take pleasure
in recommending it to all who are affiict-
ed, knowing that it will effect a cure in
every instance.
Yours respectfully,
II. D. SMALLEY, Justice of the Peace.
HUGH MORRISON, City Marshal.
r. ID. SMART, County Judge.
G. H. SCHMIDT, Editor Nord Westen.
FRED. HEINEMAN, City Clerk.
G. S. CANRIGHT. HENRY BURCHERDT.
4. d. SMITH. lei. KLINGHoLZ, 211.
+. BRANDEIs ROYAL SNIFFIN.
JOHN PITz. FRANK A. MILLER.
j. P. REINDL. VIM. RUNGE.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
WORMS IN HORSES

will be positively expelled by the sworn
remedy prepared by Robinson & Hin
rirchs
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

CUTS AND CALLS ON HORSES
are very quickly healed by "Hinrichs
Equine Healing Lotion"
ROBINSON & HINRICHs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

will soon be eured by the use of our
Liniments. ROBINSON & HINkUHs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28

The Detroit Free Press says that four
fifths OF the female hired help in that
CITY came from the Dominion.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
Aver SarsapariIla

stimulates and regulates the action of the
digestive and assimilative organs. rereWs
and strengthens the vital forces, and speedily
cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, itheuma-
tic Gout, CatarYh, General Debility, and
all diseases arising from an impoverished or
corrupted condition of the blood, and a weak
cned vitality.
1t is incomparab!y the cheapest blood medi-
cine, on account of its concentrated strength,
and great power over disease.
PREPARED BY
Dr. c. Aver 6. Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists: price 81, six bottles
for So.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
Che Best Job Printing At The ?!!.. 0ate.

Ax 90 for the working class. Send i0e
faEEE Es for postage and we viii mail you
AFksk III free, royal valuable box OF sample
~ ~ Eu - goods that viii put You in the way
OF making more money in few days than You
ever thought possible at any business. Capital
not required. We viii start you. \ on can work
all the time or in spare time only The work is
universally adapted TO both sexes, young and old
You can essiy earn from 80 cents to s. every
evening. Thai all who want wo5k may test tue
business. we make this unparalleled Offer: 10 all
who are MT well satisfied we viii send 81 to pay
for the trouble of writing us Fall particulars,
directions. etc, sent free. Fortunes viii ben ade
by those who give their whole time To the work.
Great success absolutely sure. Don delay. start
now. Address STIN ON II Co.. Portland Maine.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
..s5sssss WNMVNAAM&S

- uHckklcNEAkhESS K IMpDlEkEfIH MN
Harris Remedy Co. Props. ct. Louis,Mos
ta SUCCESS of your m sdcine this know whereas
.1tss ago, was weak, lean and stoop-shouidered.
efsti0as out nc inward force to execute them.
nigats spsut In tossing and rolling upon
ssiags bed whose daYs haunted by melancholy
sas or bliented By binding headache. say
tse then. Now. otter the Of Your most
zas;enb remedy, feel myself MAN-erect, strong;
lis lbs spirits good that whistle In the house
sct ont of doors. In sight of all this the $50 sinks
nsg7iaeauce. wfs might be able to benefit lewd
iei1ded young men by recommending your remedy.
ire original letter from which the above Is an
) rsCt. and several hundred Others pressing
ear opinfoDs.iG equally strong terp1s.s-e hlc
Win be shown 20 any one cahu2 at our Offices
yaows that his interest in the matter aries
'@Iy from desire 20 guard against imposition
E7fSiS REMEDY CO. MFG GHEh.sTs,
fagksG and 9Th Sta. ST. LOUIS, FEC.
t7s ea ..easnest S. Two months %, three E.sa I.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-02-28
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Tell the children to cut out and save the comic
silhouette pictures as they appear from issue to
issue. They will be pleased with the collection.