Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-06-18
Wednesday VhatnetS.

! Ancient Rome had eight crcuses and no
newspapers. And we all remember the fate of
ancient ROme.-NOrriSt0rh Hrdd.
The small boys mother now begins to feel his
hair each time he enters the house. but the
small boy knows a trick worth two of that-he
doesn't go home from swimming until his hair
is dry.-LO,ceN Citizen.
An entcrprising seaside hotel landlord adver-
tises that the bathing suits worn at his resort
, this season are far more shocking than at any
! other place on the coast, and that no advance
in rates will take place.-N. T. Commercial
| Detroit dealer in windmills had visitor
the other day who looked one of the machines
all over with critical eye and asked numerous
| Questions about how long it would last and
what it could be expected to do. Seemingly
satisfied on these points he observed:
well. the price seems to be reasonable
enough, and now let's see what it will cost for
| steam engine to drive it!'-Detroit Free Press.
Sam kalletOn. member of the Arkansas leg
islature, was very fond of Offering amendments
to bills introduced. That was the limit of his
legislative capacity. One morning after a
nights hiarity, he entered the legislative hall
just as the chaplain was asking Divine aid The
old man took a chew OF tobacco and listened
attentively until the chaplain closed his petition
with an effective recitation of the Lords PRAYER
"Mr. Speaker" said the old man. rising 81
move to strike out the words daily bread and
insert as much bread as may be found ne
cessary for twenty days We have already done
s..
nal
"Will you kindly tell me which way the wind
blOws?" asked northern invalid of the landlord
of a Florida hotel
Certainly SIR" replied the landlord, STEP
ping to the door, 1.-The wind now blows due
north. sir"
THANK YOU 80 r.ss
A little later the landlord said to the book
keeper:
'Have you made out Mr.. Smiths bill yet?"
'.No sir"
'Well, just charge one dollar to his account
for information about the direction of the
wind. "-Aeao York Sun.
magistrate at Syracuse. N. Y, has decided
that the tanning of human skin Is crime and
that the persons who engage in that business
are liable to the same punishment as grave
robbers SchOobOys should cut this out and
show 1t to their teachers.-NorriStoun Herald
One can always tell q temperance man at a
political convention by the fact that he has his
pockets stuffed full of bad cigars which he took
instead OF drinks.-Phitadelphia Cal.
Hartford, student killed himself the other
day by oVer-eXertiOn in the gymnasium As no
one ever heard Of anybody being killed by too
much exertion saving wood 1t would be good
idea to substitute the saw and buck for the
more aristocratic bars, balls and clubs.-Lincoha
(Aeb.) State Journal
A Chicago woman has succeeded in obtaining
temporary injunction restraining former
lover from printing divers and sundry love let
tiers received from her, the publication OF which,
she asserts would damage her very seriously
The uses OF the injunction, like those of cleo
tricity. rapidly multiply. and soon no household
can AFFORD TO be without One.-ButdlO Courier
81 must have some rest this sumner" said
| the clock; Il am all run down." Il think I
need country seat" said the easy chair, lean
ing on his elbow. 81 am getting played out, !"
said the piano; "a little fresh air would be a
good thing for me-" That's what | want. !"
said the sofa; "a little fresh hair at the springs"
al should like to go with the sofa, and lounge
In the woods" said the footstool. at my legs
were stronger" said the table, II should 90 to
the country for some leaves" Country board
Is always so PLAIN" growled the sideboard; mo
body that is knobby or polished there" LET
me reflect" said the mirror; 'they have very
plain-looking lasses there too, do they not?''
You make me plush" said the diyan-and
here the housemaid closed the foding-doors
and shut them all up.-Boston Commercial Bul-
letin.