The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1884-08-14

%p0Yn III
lover locks for a signal, and the Princess,
raising her right hand, indicates that he shall
open the door on the right He advances to
obey--there Mr.. Stockton leaves aim. The
story aroused great deal of curiosity, and
many solutions have been attempted. The
wittiest and best of them all is by Major
Joseph Kirkland, of Chicago, and Is pub
ished in a recent number of the Century, as
1ollows:l
1.-THE PROBLEM
A monarch wise; two ladies fair;
A youth not blessed with rank or money,
A ROYAL Tiger from his lair;
These are our drdmdts persona.
srhe King was greati That potentate
Pull wisely steered the ship of State;
And, mort of all, his shrewdness showed
In his MEjestic Penal Code.
An amphitheater, nobly used,
Served as court where each accused
nv his own act strict justice got;
or twas afs fault If he did not.
THE cuinrit, real or supposed,
Was placed before two portals, closeds
T Ii took lis ehoice tSxt lett and rs6t
Behind the one, in wait for him,
A tiger lurked, severe and grim.
The other hid lovely maid,
Young, rich, for wedlock all arrayed.
which door to open? Death or life?
A beast N prey! A lawful wifel
No wonder if he gasped and tarried:
We ali do when we'er killed-or married.
The trial. from its institution, Eta
Down to the final execution
Not having any lawyers In i'll,
look Just the space u half a rrstasta.
In this grand scheme of penal laws
So free from doubt, delay, excitement-.
Each of fhe tigers separate claws
Was separate clause in the Indictment
said we not well this King WINS shrewd
Who thia strong, simple plan pursued
The crowd amused-Law vindcated--
The tigers fed-the nlaidenS mated!
The Kinh's own daughters inclination
Was toward d youth of lowlg station,
And since he was like BarkiS 8 willin',"
He mast have been hardened villain.
So the p0lice pursued him. caught him,
And to t1e Colosseum brought hiIns
And thitler came the monarch proud
The Princess, and the baser crowd.
Behind fne scenes another maiden
Attends with all her gewgaws laden.
While exist al hand, to left-or right.
The tger-with his appetite.
The throng now sec the cnlprit enter
And pause at the arenas center;
Turn, face the royal box, and bow:
AlaSi How feels the Princess nOWS
She only, favored by the Fates,
Knows the dread problem of the gates
Which hides her rivals hateful face,
And which the tigers lurking place,
Her luekIess lover vainly tries ~gs
To read her secret in her eyes.
What sign can reach his straining G5gftf
She lifts one lily hand-the right
He sees the sign; he must obey;
He bows again and turns away:
Faces the double-gated wall,
Advances firmly, and-that's ALL
Right hare the story halts. The SEQUEL
It's author left with chances equal.
Did Love decree the youth s survival
Although united to d rival2
1.-THE SOLUTION.
This tiger, savage, sleek and strong.
Had tasted there alone and long,
And grown TO be far hungrier than
Wild quadrupedal Doctor Tanner.
He shifted the wall that did divide
Him from the maid on t'other side.
One sniff, two shifts, three shifts were alf3
Then he forthwith tors dotDn the acal.
Sir Tiger now has had his FIJI;
Another pound would make him Ill.
hes no more need for persons raw
Than Barnum's tiger stuffed with straw.
Too long we've let our hero stand
Since his fair Princess raised her hand.
Boldly he opes the rightrhand portal
Then staggers back In terror mortall
From out the gateway, crouching low,
The tiger steps, sedate and slow.
Stops, stoops. unsheathes and sheathes hi
claws,
While all may note the awful pawsl
He gives the youth scornfal glance.
And passes on with looks askance.
HI does not seem tn care to eat him.
Meets him. in fact, but doesn't meat him.
He smooths his whiskers, walks the ring,
Winks at the Princess and her lover, *
Then smiles serenely at the King
And scans the multitude all over.
His lordly form and bearing made
Fit setting for the part he played.
He on the sands of that theayter
From top to toe looked glad he ate her.
He peered and purred and paced awhile,
With that same soft seductive smiles
Then to shady corner orept
And laid him down and sweetly slept.
The King in this portent secs.
Quoth he, while quake the royal knees:
go, daughter. quickly as you can
And wed that praiseworthy young man."
The Princess trips across the sands
TO where her lover, waiting, stands.
They re married fast, mid cheers and laughter
And then-live happy ever after. If
Oft did the swain in later life
Demand the secret from his wife:
and by all arts strove to oblige her
To telf sOhich door had hid tas tlger.s
But she. as all historians say,
Kept silent to her dying day:
20 no step further ever made he
To solve the problem Death or Lady,"
5ss