davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02
HUMOROUS.

"A smooth sidewalk is thing to be
desired and is generally approved, but
people are apt to get down on a slippery
pavement.
-Paradoxical as it may appear, the
law prohibits keeping men in lunatic-
asylums when it is admitted that they
are insane.
The greatest oleomargarine fraud
yet perpetrated is the labelling the buck,
cts with Notwithstanding billy goat
TO indicate genuine butter.-Atlanta
Constellation.
"A freshman wrote home to his faith
er: Dear papa: / want q little
change The paternal parent replied:
Dear Charlie: Just wait for it. Time
brings change to everybody.-College
Journal.
LET US play we are married." said
little Edith, sand l will bring my dolly
and say: See baby. papa"" Eyes"
replied Johnny, land will say: Don't
bother me now; want to look through
the paper. '"-Panct.
IL say, Jenkins. can you tell q
young. tender chicken from an old,
tough onep' "Of course I can"
"Well, howP" By the teeth" Chick
ems don't have teeth.'' mo, but I
have. "-Hartford Times.
"A writer on electricity lucidly OBJ
serves that "a current of one ampere
results when one volt passes through a
conductor Offering a resistance of one
ohm" We don't see how it could do
otherwise. 'o,on Herald.
The father gazed at the triplets, tho
FIRST born, snugly reposing in the era
die, and remarked to the nurse: 'Are
they boys or girlsP'' .All girls, the
little dears. What treasures they arep'
"Yes, little fortunes, as it were; httle
Niss-fOrtunes. "-Detr0it Free Press.
"A young man who had been going
with a Vermont girl for some time, and
had made her several presents, asked
her one day II she would accept a
puppy. He was awful mad when she
replied that her mother had told her. il
he proposed to her, to say no. Darling
ton Free Press.
Little Nell-'Mamma, what is
eolor-blind?" Mamma-''Inability to
tell one color from another, dear. ~
Little Nelt-''Then l dess the man that
made my geography is color blind. "
Mamma-"And. why. pet?' Little
Nell-"Tause he got Greenland painted
yellow. "--Chicago Tines.
"A Cool Conundrum-.
"Canst thou not tell the difference
Said Yeast the other night
sTwixt clear and running water
And when its frozen tight?'
II can" his wife made answer,
/ IN tell You In a trice-
The ones Q flow of water,
The other doe of ice."
-Yonkers Salesman.
Ibid you hear the news about
Blimmer?" inquired De Smythe OF
O'Jenks this morning. mo. What's
happened to him. old boyp" Commit
ted involuntary suicide before break
fast" ssYou don't tell me! How?''
He swallowed four gallons and hall
of fog, and died in the blessed hope oil
sunshine beyond" GOOD morning"
-H0rfford Post.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

ARR week q home. s5.oc outns nee
0OQf.y yhsolgtelZ snSs. No rtek. Captsl
make grest pay Is al the tine they Work, vim
ahsolute certainty write for Particulars to ~
HAIlsT = Co. Portland Maane. nor. sly.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

splendid portraits OF the Prestden initial and
Vice Presidential Candidates In oil cclers. on
psinters' eanv ass, made as transparent a. glass
and highly decorated, for Procession Banners.
window Transparencies, Lanterns; also in
shape Of Maps, with two wooden o. metal
feet high, by . feet wide, per dos. $500
Complete orch and Lantern above Size
Pictures Of President and vice-P resident
on one shset. per doc. $500
IA ins. high, by II ins. wide. per dos 400
10 ins. high, by . Ins. wide; double size
President and vlce-President on one
sheet per dozen SJo
Complies Torch and Lantern and above
double size Pictures on two aides OF the
Lantern, 4 pictures altogether per dog. 5000
Medallion Heads Of Jas. g, Blaine and Gro
yer Cleveland. silver or gold, mounted on
plush cushion easels, size 10xls, each, LOO
Sample copies can be had BY femitting price
per dozen ratea. they are wtthoot competition
IA regard 70 novelty, beauty. and real artistic
value ~, SCOTT ART COMPANY :
sue-so-u @ III broadway, New YorK.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

Read and ponder the words Of praise. -
licited. vofuntory tssSinonials-that ~ ~
been sent 20 me, selected from hundreos rss
from grateful bene6ciaries. ,.,..,-,voi
A fdistipguisAed phyhcian q ons 81.
pecting to be confined 70 use the 1N.tica
friend,' for during long oeaee1.c = orisk
have never Known g 70 fail 70 produces
xnothsr ssys: .My wife used the Mos ss
srss Friond S(lIolmss, Linimentl IN nSs y xiih
confinement. and says she paneo tnSsVSS ~ torrnes
One-hah the suffering OF elmer o. ~ ~ ~
eonhnsusnts and rssevsssd ~
a isdy patient, Who ussd The "frisna .esn
ARR her confinemsnt: III have nsys, -
ons psss through this trial % easaly ana VT r
little sufis.ing GSd sis's ne
. An experienced midwife writn; ~ ..1s n
Mghted' With Ne sHptAers n - =
every inssancs wksssI have kpswn SsrS
sdscss haze been Al Ieonldssks
:. 4 lady q Hnnissiliss Ala, movanf hsys 1isd
- cssclss, .rsss rs sHnlSy;.. Iininsnp snd
60 rethfslly sey e is : -, - |. q an"
Pltss. Si.se per bottle. Cent ey n.y.
e ED saaisss e !. s s ;ss e. ..l..s.rs
? 4 s. ~ oslrsr M ssIs saoszss0s'
~a.IzRRlADFIELD. :.
Ne 1oe a.Ysves ssssst. Albania. -
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

In the social circles Of q chicken-yard
the lines sre distinctly drawn, for each
hen has her own set. gu
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

Avid western paper is calling loud for
the coinage of half cents. 1t is q mistake
Of Judgment. What Is really needed is
more Of the ordinary common sense.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

Home AGAIN.

Mrs. II. Fl. Cassidy IN now open ct the
old stand liz, Grxsier Street, New Orleans,
La, which will prove an immense accom-
mDdation to her numerous friends and the
travelling public, who will testify their ap-
probation by giving her generous sup
port. The house has been newly and
tastefully furnished, everything done that
could he to add to the comfort of her
guests. Mrs. NJ. Fl. CASSIDY.
The only entrance Is liz Grarier street.
"DOn't forget the number and entrance"
March 13-lyr
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02
THE CENTRAL
EDUCATIONAL BUREAU,
X. X. JAYNE, SECRETARY.
JACKSON MISS.

This Bureau may be relied upon to fur
niSh competent teachers to schools. Its
list of applicants includes quite number
of experienced and successful educators
many of whom are engaged in teaching,
but wish a change of place.
TRUSTEES, Superintendent and others,
when writing for teachers should state
clearly the kind of teachers desired, the
salary, the length of term, and all infOr-
nation in regard to the school and its
surroundings. If positive assurance is
given that the party recommended by
the Bureau will be employed, much un-
necessary delay will be avoided, and the
teachers will be sent at once. Confidence
TINS placed will not be abused.
TEACHERS seeking positions must reg
lister. They cannot hope to obtain situa-
tiOns without it, or even then at once, as
when q teacher is wanted some of those
registered can generally be found 10 suit
the requirements.
TERMS: All teachers are required to
pay registration fee of $500. This Sc
cures general and special effort in his Cor
her) behalf. On accepting the situation
the teacher pays to the Bureau an
amount equal to One-half of the salar y
for the first month.
Schools are supplied with teachers free
of charge, and their patronage is respect
fully solicited.
All correspondence should be addressed
to r. X. JAYNE, Secretary,
June 12-tf. Jackson, Miss.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

"Does yer tapo pothin' but dry goods
hersr ssNo. man. s'Thiu where will
! BE- after going for . watered silkfn
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

A GENTS wanted for the lives of ali the Presi-
"A dents OF the q. Q. The largest, handsomest
Dest book ever sold TOR lees than twice our prica
The fastest selling book In America. Immense
pfo1ts 10 agsnts. Al intelligsnt people want IL
Apyone can become . succsssful agent. Terms
f1ee. HALLxr BOOK Co., Portland Maine.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

A Western editor speaks Of journalis-
tie brother rs .sap-headed ornithor-
byuchh.."
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

The above cut Represent. q the latest and msss
RING line. No. is half round or Wedding
Ring, Solid rs X. Rolled Gold. No. IS 4
Handsome Chased or Engagement Ring.
solid 10 X, Rolled Gold. these rings are suitable
Cor either Lady Gent and warranted TO give salts
faction. We oMes you your choice Of any Of the above
RINGS a % cents each. No. Is our imported
Australian Diamond ring. set 10 Solid rs X.
Rolled Gold. they posses the beautiful straw tint and
Diamonds and win make handsome birthday
or Christmas present for Young or Old. Any
Initials engraved the inside Of the risgs without
charge. Our Illustrated CetaloEuS Of 6ne
Jcwe1ry, Watches. ETC., sensffee vih each erdss.
Send measure Of fager WIEN ordering and state vhch
ring you desire Adde'S EUREKA JBWB1RY
VO., - Maiden 1ans, New Yerk.
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02
.at THE OlDE ST
Machinery Agency
ia IN NEW ORLEANS.
ESTABLISHED 20 YEARS.
the BEST COTTON GINS.

We are making the ECLIPSE EAGLE GOT
TON GINS, which proved such Q complete sue
cess the past season, and which took the first
prize at the Atlanta Exposition for ginning hully
COTTON which had been gathered with the bolls.
We also continue to manufacture our celebra-'
ted STANDARD EAGLE GINS, which have for
the past % years been known as the leading Cot
ton Gins, receiving the Enforcement Of the lar
geet ami best planters. Our FEEDERS and
CONDENSERs are the best invented, and our
Feeder was awarded the f1rst prize at Atlanta.
Edward AtkiasOn, Col Barrow (the President Of
Willimantic Cotton Company and other North
ern manufacturers Of cotton goo b indorse the
Eagle Gins ss producing the best sample Of COT
ton. Planters in purcha sing the EARLE Cotton
Gins do So with the certainty of getting the
best Gin ever made. Col. e. Richardson. the
largest planter in the world, has 70 Eagle
Eclipse Gins, and 10 30 well satisfied that they
are superior to all other kinds he has DISC arded
ell others and ordered ~ more Eagle eclipse
Gins for this season. Col. G. N. Neel, the lar
gest planter in Arkansas, ordered Eagle
Eclipse Gins. Col. J. N. Gillespie, the largest
planter in Tensas Parish, has Eagle Eclipse
Gins. He sent his cotton tO Buckner Co.. and
not one bale rejected Gidiere, Day / Go.
sold one bale of co ton from Mr.. Allen. ginned
on Eagle Cotton Gin, at % cents per pound.
NAf..a> q
The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-10-02

( 0so1 f0R ear sixty.6euP Daep
pamphlet, telling IN sAous
The ChsttsnSogs Medicine o.
= ChsttaDeoEo, Tenn.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-07
BOOK NOTICES.

CHORAL WORSHIP. A collection Of new sa-
cred music and new secular music, for
choirs, singing classes and conventions. By
L. o. Emerson. Oliver Ditson & Co., New
York, Philadelphia and Chicago. $40 PIP.
Price 81.
This is a full sized church music book,
with all the modern Improvements. 1t
contains many new tunes, but is especially
rich in anthems, duets, trios and glees.
1t is not so much devoted to theory as
to practical enjoyment. The name of the
author is a guarantee for its excellence.
TEN YEARS A POLICE COURT JUDGE. By
Judge Wiglittle. New York: Funk 4 Wag-
nails. 10 and u Dey street. Price 25 cents.
This is an interesting and amusing mar
ratiye of the experience of Police Court
Judge. 1t records facts Iudicrous and
pathetic, notifying and encouraging,
facts of law and of morality. 1t will well
repay perusal.
UNITED STATES CONSULAR REPORTS on the
Credit and Trade Systems Of the several
Districts, in Answer to a Circular from the
Department Of State. July, 1884. Washing
ton: Government Printing Office.
This book contains 500 pages, and is full
of interest, the reports being in the usual
form of answers to circulars sent by the
Department OF State.
PROTECTION AND FREE TRADE TO-DAY At
HONE AND ABROAD, IN FIELD AND WORK
SHOP. BY Robert p. Porter. Boston /:
James r. OsgOod & Co. Price 10 cents.
Pamphlet containing an argument in
favor Of the protective tariff.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-07
Healthy Financial Condition.


The financial condition Of the munich
pality Of Savannah is very satisfactory.
In fact, the outlook in that respect is bet
ter than it has been for a quarter Of a
century. A small amount Of old bonds
remain uncanceled. owing to the holders
refusing TO accept the compromise. Ar
rangements, however, have been made by
which such bonds will be cancelled
at an early day. The interest on
the city's bonded debt has been promptly
paid, and the amount required by law for
the gradual extinguishment Of the debt
has been regularly deposited with the
Sinking Fund Commissioners.
All the current expenses Of the admin
istration have also been met, and a hand
some balance is now in the city treas
urY. In addition 10 this, 1920 90
was paid last year for bills contracted
prior to January, 1888, Of which
only $4,000 was chargeable to the regu-
lar expenses Of the city government. This
year $50, 900 has been paid for new water
mains, $1,000 for opening streets, and
$4,000 the amount Of a Judgment OBJ
tanned in 1879 on Mayors notes." max
ing total Of $4,000 for extraordinary
expenditures. This creditable state of
affairs is mainly due to the rigid
enforcement of the tax ordinances and the
prompt collection Of the city's revenue.
Under an impartial system Of collection
the people have willingly contributed to
the support Of the city government.
There is every reason to anticipate
reduction Of the tax on real estate TO > or
- per cent. 1t is expected that this can
be done without interfering with the
plans for paving certain streets and max
ing other proposed Improvements.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-07

has become an adopted member OF the tribe
I OF Seneca Indians, a remnant Of which tribe
still exists In Central New York.
MR, FRorpe Is said 60 be at an Inaccessible
rosort somewhere on the coast OF ENGLAND,
antshing his biography. Of Thomas Carlyle.
Tie Is probably revising his proof, rs that work
was understood 20 be practically finished sew
er9l weeks ago. Its appearance is expected
70 be the literary event Of the autumn.
TUX venerable Simon Cameron, Of Penn
sylvania, is more than midway past his S5th
year, but his mental powers arc undated
lie has been greatly bent In form during the
last year by the accident resulting in a fall in
his house some months ago, SO that the erect
form that has been so woll known in State
and nation for half century will never be
seen again.
EDWARD WELCuMAN, Secretary of the Com
mttteo OF one Hundred, has received from
Chief +. &. Rathbone, OF the Special Exami-
nation Division Of the Pension ONCE ut Wash
ington, the notice of his appointment as
ter instructed Mr.. Woiohman 10 report to j.
III, Clements, Supervising Examiner at At
lanta, Ca, for assignment to duty.
Mrs. CAMPBELL. the mother OF the late
President, can be seer, almost any day walk
ing about the grounds OF sitting in her arm
chair on the shaded veranda at Mentor. On
sunday she is frequently at church with other
members OF the family, and is able to take a
seat in, or alight from, the family carriage
with little assistance. She has passed her SD
birthday, and seems to be in the enjoyment of
her usual good health.
NJ. ANDRIEUx, the French political leader.
Is described as a sort OF human cat, n stealthy
vengeful Grimalkin, with his claw against
every man. He ascends the tribune sideways,
with the movement OF cat on garden wall
He is a smooth, finished, epigrammatic speak
er. with a lawyers brain and tongue, and
rich in willy compassion, more often
sive than hatred TO his foes. Moreover,
he has the reputation of being one of the three
most dangerous swordsmen in the Chamber
the others being Paul de Cassaguac and
Clemenceau
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-07
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

IT is said that the Superintendent of Yellow
stone Park is doing nothing to prevent the
slaughter OF game by trespassers, and Gov.
Crosby, of Montana, and Gov. Hale, of Wyom-
ing, are soon to go there and organize some
method for the prosecution of trespassers.
THE Bureau of Ethnology will make a
graphic display of all the races of the earth at
the Worlds Fair at New Orleans. The Egyp-
tian mummies who lived 5000 years ago VIII
be represented side by side with all the races
left Of the mound builders and other peoples
now extinct.
q. L. II. LARDNER, Secretary Of the New Or
leans Waterworks Company, claims to have
clarified a great reservoir of Mississippi river
water containing l2,750,oOO gallons in u hours,
at a Ost of a cent per 1000 gallons, by continu-
ously pouring into the stream of water run
ming into the reservoir solution Of iron.
AT the last drawing of the National Lot
terry in Spain the employees charged with the
details Of the business forgot to put in the urn
a thousand numbers. The government an
nulled the drawing and ordered another on
the following day. 1t happened that an in
dividual who had been a constant player
for p years won one Of the big prizes, and is
Inconsolable. He means to sue the govern
ment.
WHEN pure platinum is as soft SIS silver, but
by the addition of iridium it becomes the hard
est of metals. The great difficulty in mani
pulating platinum is its successive resistance
to heat. A temperature that Will make steel
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-07
PERSONAL.

MR.. TALMAGE returns to his Brooklyn pull
pit proud of having shaken hands with $4,000
sinners out West.
YOUNG Mr.. CORNELIUS VANDERBILT pooh
pOohs the story that he recently lost $4,000, 900
in stock speculation.
HENRY GEORGE contributes chapter and
preface to the American edition of Mr.. Da-
Wits "Leaves from Prison Diary"
Mr.. CLEVELAND is beginning to be de-
lighted by those tender manifestations OF
esteem so characteristic of the admiring crank.
The candidates latest present, sent by mail
from Arizona, is a horned toad, alive and
kicking.
MRS. ALMIRA T. METCALF has given to
Brown University the Metcalf homestead,
consisting OF thirteen acres of land within
the city limits of Providence, K. L. The tract
is to be used as a site for an observatory and
for botanical gardens.
CHARLES W. HUTCHINSON, eX-Mayor OF
Utica, is the latest bolter. He has bolted not
only from his party, but from his race, and
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-07
Something Perhaps He Would Eat.
Cincinnati Enquirer.

Cincinnati EUQUfrer.
Heard a good story on a West End
minister one day last week. He is a
vegetarian of the strictest order, and in
the course of his pastoral career he was
invited out to a Sunday dinner by one of
the sisters of his flock, whose name for the
nonce shall be Brown. Old man Brown
didn't 90 to church that morning. His
wife told him to expect her to bring home
company to dine and he, with the aid of
the cook, laid the foundation for a superb
repast. Mrs. Brown came home, but all
the company she brought was the minister.
They were seated at the table when this
sort of conversation ensued:
'EMr. JONES'" meaning the minister,
"what part of the chicken do you like
best?"
"Really, Mr.. Brown, don't care about
any chicken"
''well, here is some extra fine roast
beet; try some of this"
Excuse me, Mr.. Brown, 1 will forego
the beef"
''Ihave some.tender lamb heTe-how will
that suitr'
Il never eat lamb"
''Well, now know you can't refuse this
boiled ham,"
''Pardon me, but ham never touch"
During all this time Browns father, an
old gray-haired sinner, had been seated
near him watching operations, and,
standing it as long as he could, squeaked
out in piping voice:
''John, maybe the - fool viii suck an
egg"
The enjoyment of thatdinner was
spoiled.
The neck is dressed either very high or
yerV low,
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-07


The Chief Of Police of Pittsburg evil
IDENTIFY thirsts for notoriety. 1t will be re-
membered that a few days ago he pulled
down the flag Of the Austrian Consul in
that city under an ordinance which re-
quired him to remove swinging signs. 1t
is very likely that under the strict letter
Of the Pittsburg ordinance the Chief Of
Police was authorized 10 pull down the
flag, but the ordinance appears TO conflict
with the comfy Of nations, and the Aus
trian Consul stands on his right to display
the flag of his country as is customary in
all other cities the world over. The Con-
sui demands the restoration of the flag to
its original position and an apology from
the Chief of Police for the indignity Of
fered him and it.
There seems now to be some slight
ground for believing that this case m . Y
become the occasion of an information
incident. The Secretary of State, has
been appealed to by the Consul to inter-
pose. The Secretary knows that the pO-
sitiOn of the Chief of Police is untenable
from an international point of view, but
he has no authority to interpOse and cause
reparation to be made. He has advised
the Chief to replace the flag and apollo
gise, and Gov. Pattison has done the same
thing, but the official is not willing to fol-
low the advice. II is limited that the
Chief will be prosecuted in the United
States court for violating the treaty rights
of a friendly nation. The penalty for the
Offensel Is Imprisonment for not more than
three years, and fine at the discretion Of
the court. The Consul, Baron Schatfer,
wants the case pushed, and no doubt it
will be instituted very soon.
The Chief of Police has engaged coun-
sci, and says he will defend his action in
the matter. So it may be that Tom ochil-
tree will have a formidable rival as an IN
ternational incident raiser.