The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-02-21
TEE BLESSED BABY.
An opon Letter from an Old Boy 70 q
Young One.

An opon Letter from an Old Dsy 70
Young One.
DEAR EzEA: When tha. baby yo,
speak Of arrives, prepare to take bacl
seat. Take it gracefully, and occupy i
| without murmur, for il is the only on,
you will ever get. You have doub.los,
made your own plans about the way IL
which your first child shall bo brough
| up-all prospective fathers do this. De
not bo surprised to discover that yor
have nothing whatever 10 do With Tho
performance, but that you are to be-
merely o spectator. and from back sea1
at that The child is going 10 bo roaret
by your wife aud your Tife's relative.
and your uife'a old nurao and tho family
doctor. Don't forget this, or you may
find yourself in trouble. The counter.
ance Of your wife's mother will seem
perpotually to ahy to you: {" You oif out i'
The nurse and doctor will remind you
that they have brought up hundreds oi
babies before you were even thought Of
and that you had better k.ep your little
suggestions to yourself
Y6u have decided, for one thing, thu,
your baby shall bo plainly dressed-none
OF this wicked extravagance of laces and
embroidery for you. How chagrined
you will be when you Gee tho gorgeour
.outGss" that have beon smuggled into
tho house while you were away at your
bunineas. Then, too, there will bo the
presen.s which pour in from frieuds-a
custom Of which you never heard and
for which you made no allowance.
Worsted ahoes are eaoy to mako, aud
every mail will bring them to you from
Gil points Of the compass Tho joke OF
it ia, they will ell ft a girl thirteen
sSaT# or esa ka;: Psis Of pink shess
for babe otill unborn that will fit as
perfectly 40 those contributed by tho
esptuagenarisn mother of fifteen chill.
dren. YeD, you may be too poor TO pay
your rent, but you will see your baby
riding proudly through the atreets in its
own carriage, aud covered with an array
of ribbons and opangleo and crochet
work which will mako the glitteriug cos.
tune Of the circus monkey look pale.
1ou have determined slse that your
child shall not be rocked. "When it
cries,' you say, clay it. down and lot 1t
have the cry out; just 40 easy to train q
child one way as the ether. II it In to
be rocked aud daudled aud walked with
evory time it screams, tho whole family
will soou be bond slaves. Let ue have
no cradle in this house aud no syringe
on our baby wagon" Hero, again, pre-.
pare yourself for ignominiouo defeat.
You will have cradle with lovely
conopy and hy-net, and tho little car.
rlage will have bounding eprings, and
your infant will be rocked on the treo.
top and trotted to Boston TO buy o loaf
of tho ataf Of life, juat like all Ito pro.
decesSors. When you ask who is going
10 do the rocking and promenading ut
midnight and at cock Growing and With
baby weighing twonty pounds, thore
will DO IN ominous ailence which mespo
that you yourself have been selected for
that duty. The nurse has told your wife
that that's all yu're good for
When you aee the baby smothered in
worsted Jackets, ehawls and afghane, per.
spiring like trotting horse and gaspipg
for breath, don't even venture to nuggest
that it has 800 many clotheo on. or
courBe you don't know tho saving quail.
ties of pinning blankets. knit ohirta and
flannel blankets and probably you
never heard that the child would die in.
stautly flannel wasn't kept over its
stomach. II 10 only out Of pity for your
ignorance that the nurao doesn't knock
you down.
When your wife aays the baby I.
laughing. dou't dispute hor, whether you
can see tho laugh or not. Only females
can tell when baby laughs, or interpret
it's other complex expressions. II YOU
take hand in the business you will be
set down for fool. Don't try it. In
the nuraery you must be oil thingu to all
women.
Prepare to dreas yourself in the bath
room, receive your friends in the ball,
and to 60 to the barn when you want to
smoke. Your own room will gradually
assume the appearance of something be.
tween drug store and dict. kitchen.
When you 90 out of it In the morning It
10 we'll to be equipped for tho day, as you
may not be readmitted until bedtime.
II you 60 back to change your cuffo. the
chances are that you will find tho door
locked = chorus Of female voices
will info that you can't como In
because yiO being 6athed. Even
when ge.a Loved 70 snte:, .hess l.
danger INST .ae burly nurse will hustle
you out again,. whispering into your ear
that tho baby has got to 30 "chenged"-
"notesei tpns mHy meop. DeLnlnG oeQ
changing will keep you in almo0t con.
Stant exile. Before your child gets Into
ehoTt clothes you will have spent about
six montho sitting on the stnirs, "uaiting
to opeak 70 your wife," And yet, your
wife still lovea you. At simes she even
Gays that che wishas she could do some.
thing for you. The trouble In that che
is completely under tho control of "por-
nons Of experience" who tell her that II
she doeAn't powder the baby and trample
on her husband, 40 they advise, hor fife
will be complete failure.
I have only mentioned these few thingu
which happened to occur to mo. There
10 vast field OF vaccination, teething,
milk crust, bottle. feeding, wet.nursipg,
eicknoas, christening, and shave the
baby'a picture taken," which haven't
touched upon at all. If you are alive
six months from nov, I will vrito and
advise you further. In the meantime
take good care of yourself aud don't for.
get what l have said about the back
seat. Your affectionate uncle.
Gan GrautSa 6InodtSton