Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-01-15
PLEiSANI,RIES.

The English sparrow" Have driv
IN all the other birds from this town
Veil, l should twitter."
SAID the General to the Major, "What
is Your rank, sir? and the Major re.
piled, 81 am Major, General"
Why mourn for Grmes-his daughters 1.-Two;
o., fashions streets we find 'eni,
And they wear sold Grimes's coat"
All buttoned down behind 'em.
"SoMETHINa to eatP" Tra1ap-
Yea'm. But I don't want no quail,
'''aHse it's been awful hard with EN- this
"imter, and they have had to feed on all
.olts OF pisen berries"
A WISE father to his SON" Now,
Iohn, 1 do not object to your being a
:ool and all idiot. Be fool and an idiot
+ you want to, but what 1 do not wish
rou 10 do !, to let everybody know it. "
oNE-oRET st''Ip for circulAire,
oGe-cent stamp for a newspapalre,
tn ee-cens stamp for a sealed lettairo,
All licked on the right cornaire-
Lick, brothers lick, lick with caire,
On tie right-hand siie, not everywhaire,
Unle-s you want the Postlnastare
To mike things hot and cuss and swaiIe
"Wru neatncss," he remarked, as he
shot down hill on bob-sled, "and dis
patch," lie groaned the next day, point
ing to lucent strip Of court-plaster on
his nasal appendage and classical fore
head.
A YOUNG lady and her father were
looking OF druggist, who was very
nicely balancing the delicate little scales
III wM'h the prescription was being
weighed. Glow precise how fine
how little r. said the girl. eyes," said
the father, but he will not do SO with
the BILL"
IL the spring the mGidens fame,
Turns to thoughts Of making ha,--
v 18th matrimonial view she
Fiirteth much ind plays croqueS
But the young man does not tuInb!s,
And, with merconary view,
&c considers that it's cheaper
To pay boerd for one than two.
"AY love for you is like that glow
ing fire" said Adolphus, as he blinked
at the burning anthracite and then at
the object of his affections. "What a
crate full" she murmured, and the
spark got quite warm trying to think
low she spelled the sentence.
In the Senate Chamber at Washing
ton, the Chaplain offered the Lords
prayer. When he had flushed Dool
mey leaned over to Josonby, and re.
marked I" lie sto,e that prayer, and I'll
bet doodle on ii, for l heard the
s~ne ideas expressed in Eureka at fu-
aesil over two years ago."
A DUToHMAN in Albany went out to
his milkmen in the street with dish in
lAch hand, inste@d OF one as usual. The
dispenser Of attenuated milk asked hin
if he wished to fill both vessels ? The
DHtchman replied, suiting the action tc
the word, DDS is for de influx, and lii
lu de water-and l will mix dem SO as
to I. ' e mine self"
"Yas, said the witness, 81 remem
Ike the defendants mother crying on the
occasion referred to. She was weeping
with her left eye-the only one she has
-snd Vac tear were running down hel
right check" "What !" exclaimed the
Judge, chow could that be ?" Please
yosr Honor" said the witness, "sht
WIS awfully cross-eyed."
ScRHE-Life insurance Office in Dub
lin. Surgeon Of the company" Heart
aAd liver sound as q bell. Be large
we've the foinest life 1 ever saw, so
Fwat's your business or profession now?'
Applioaut-"Ih aven'tgot ANY" Surgeon
-"Fwbst! You don't mean to soy ye'vt
got lsndY Applicant-"Yes; a few acres
5urgeen-"Faith, thin, I'm sorry for ye
But yell never do for us.
|
"YEs, young man, said the venerable
lrugist to his new clerk, whom he wa
,bOut to initiate into the mysteries O
;he profession, CATER q life times ex
oerience l can confidently assure yov
:l,nt seven jars containing the sever
p -cifc drugs of our trade would suffice
o set mp any drug store" "But, sir
thst do you have these other 500 for9
What fur9 Why, to sell !"