The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-02-22
2, 1884. WHOLE NO. 763
.".a DEER LODGE, MONTANA, FEBRUARY 22, 1884,
WHY WE LAUGH.
Never carry your handkerchief in your hip
pocket. Reaching for it may lead to misun-
derstandiDg.

Never carry your handkerchief in your hip
pocket. Reaching for it may lead to misun-
derstanding.
Nine. Sarah Bernhardt did not live in
! America year for nothing. After having
mastered Yankee Doodle" she is now prac.
ticing ''Whale Colombierw
| The Sun hopes that the friends of VIM. NJ.
Evarts are not all asleep. No, we think not.
We do not recall any recent speech by Mr..
Evarts.-Nev York Graphic.
Mr.. Gould has what. is called the money
making instinct and IL will probably be a
very cold day when q wolf is found sitting
on his front door-step.-N. Y. World.
| A river called Kissmelonga has been dis
covered by Stanley in Central Africa. We
think we have heard the name before, but
not in this conasction.-Boston Transcript.
"No sparkling after ten o'clock" says DR..
Graham. "No dancing unless he and she are
in separate rooms," says DIR. Eaton. Good
evening, Cupid w-Lomisuille C0urier-Jo,T-
| nal.
"No," said Fogg, in reply to the person on
the doorstep, 'the lady of the house is not
in. 1t is her evening out. But my wife is
in; perhaps she might do as we'll lw-BOs-
ton Transcript.
The Brooklyn Sangerbund held "fest"
Friday. Upon the stage was the life like
representation of VIM. II. Vanderbilt stand
| ing upon pedestal. The touching epigram,
"The public be d." was upon the stone.
The Record informs us that Philadelphia
lies on the fortieth parallel of north latitude.
There is nothing like accuracy in these lit
| tie matters, but we didn't suppose Philadel-
phia liars had any parallel.--Oa City Biz
zdrd.
We have it upon medical authority that "a
| dying man may be burned with a red hot
iron aud not feel pain" To avoid possible
| inconvenience, however, most dying men
would prefer to have the experiment post
poned until they had got through dying.
Ethel--"Oh, l am so happyw Edith
"What has happened, dear?" "I have just
found out that darling Alphonzo is color
blind" Edth-"Why, what advantage is
there in that?" Edith-"He can't see how
| horribly red my nose gets in cold weather. 1"
philadelphia Cal.
care you fond of dates ?" asked he, as he
passed the fruit to his betrothed. "Very
much so," replied she, and then she coyly
| added, 81 know of sweeter date than this. I"
"What date is that?" queried he. "The
date of our marriage" softly responded the
| gentle one.--N. Y. Commercial ADVERTISER
"There'J good deal of disputin' about the
| liver hue of the sundowns lalely," said
Aunt Tabtha; ''some says as how it is
| caused by the comic and others that it's
collie dust, whatever that Is; but for my part
| think 1t Is the detection from Deacon Po-
der's bright red barn, jest opposite.-AdUer-
| tiSer.
| Oh, Mabel was pretty and had q rich pa;
| She was dainty and modest, you could cas-
lily see;
But she always would murmur 81 seen" for
~ saw" .------ -
And Invariably cried out "It's him" for
| ''it's he"
Walidmsport Brsakfast Table
A lady and gentleman were al the glass
| blowing counter III the museum last night.
They were apparently newly married. "Oh
| look here" cried the lady, "heIe is q ship
with sails and spars all of glass. 1t is la
beled "A Brig Did you ever see & glass
brig before?" ''No, my DEAR" said the gen.
tlemaD, "but have used good many glass
schooners. ."-Sentinel.
"Hello Blinks," exclaimed our editor as a
seedy-looking individual shambled into the
Office. "What's on foot now ?" "Why, you
| see, sir, repiieu biihks, II am ABOUT 10 start
another paper, and" "Another one P"
quered the editor; "what has become of the
Tornado" "Busted." "And the Tomd-
hack and the Cyclone, and half 3 dozen
others?" "Gone up, gone up" sadly re-
piled the protector of the ephemeral publi-
cations. $50 you are going to start new
one, are you? Hump! Well, I'll see what
can do for you. What is this paper to be ?"
| 81 tho ught, as the other ones didn't pay"
murmured Blinks, ~ thought I'd start a
subscription paper this time !" - Boston
| Courier.