Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1884-08-29


steamboat"
sob, where shall we find content?"
walls a magazine poet. He should
invite n hOmely girl t. polish of a
couple of quarts of ice cream with him.
A man in Cincinnati has discovered
a process 10y which a corpse may he
cow, rted INTO marble. What q lovely
barher-pole Sarah Bernhardt would
make.
A fashionable New York woman
says she will spend the summer be-
tween Newport and Saratoga, 1t
looks as though she had taken cot
tage in Connecticut.
Heard at Saratoga--"W What il that
girls name? She looks very awkward
aud rustic at this garden party" 81
don't know exactly, but | should say
she was Miss Fit"
"In what condition was the patri.
arch Jnb at the end of his life?n asked
n Sunday-school teacher of quiet
looking boy at the end OF the class.
Dead" calmly replied the boy.
Innocent wife-"What do you mean,
Charlie, by 'straddling a blind - /
should think it was so much easier to
ride rail, if that is q way you have
Of initiating men At the club
A member of the Kentucky legisla-
ture, who attended a service at the
Episcopal church at Frankfort, was
asked now he liked it. and replied :
"Purty well; | riz and fell with them
every time"
"Mr. Jones'" said little Johnny to
that gentleman, who WAS making an
afternoon call, lean whisky talk >"
M, my child however eau you ask
such question ." 80. nothing! only
ma said whisky was beginning to tell
on you"
They were disputing about some.
thing or other, when Mrs. Fogg impa-
,iently exclaimed: 40, well, sir, you
have your way. You always were an
off horse" "Ges, my dear" replied
Fogg, land an off horse, you know, is
always on the right side"
a famous Prussian general was in
specting some military stables. What
do see there" he said, in tones of
thunder to sergeant, cobwebs9"
YES, sir" was the respectful reply,
1--WE keep them there to catch flies and
prevent their teasing the horses.n
a noiseless roller skate has been in
vented. There is probably no device
the ingenuity OF man can contrive that
VIII make noiseless the man who Uses
such skates the first time, and sits
down upon the back " his head with
his legs shooting heavenward. Moth
ing but death.
Father" queried young Henderson,
what is a society event." "a so.
ciety event is =. hat l cal one of yomr
mothers crazy.quilt parties, If l can
get tn editor to put it in for nothing
If ] can't get il in for nothing call it
a shame, and ask him when he's 90
ing TO print something the people like
to read.N
John, the pig q look rather queer.
Have they been fed?" John-"Ies,
sir" Dsiryman-"What did YOU
give them?" .Iohn-"As there wasn't
nothing else, gave them the milk
that was left in the cans when the
men got back from the city," Dairy
man Great Josephus! What have
you done? Run for the doctor.n
They were sitting on the sofa i'm the
front parlor and he was holding her
little hand in his own. Suddenly a
Thought seemed To strike her, and She
asked sweetlv, "Adolphus, are you q
hotter -" Just then the old gentle
mans footsteps sounded on the top
stair, AID as he wildly grabbed his hat
Ado,,phus answered, "Yes, darling ;
good bye"
Al, Charlie, my dear boy, what's
your hurry" "Well,to tel, The truth
Ned, my defalcation has been found
out, and ! am rather In hurry to get
away" well, come up to the club
Ant tell me about IL, and "No.
really can't; have got to leave In the
morning. The sheriff has lust told
me that ] will be arrested in a day or
so We'll, goodbye. old man; write
when you have time"