Morning journal and courier., 1884-09-17
NOISE.

The girl with bangs generally makes a noise in the world-at least it annoys good many to look upon her.-Yonkers Gazette.
 'tMa! why is that darkey equivalent to a conundrumF f'I'm sure don't know, my child" Because he's a-nig-ma. Seer Yonkers Gazette.
 Young Farmer-"Are you fond of beasts, Miss Gushertona" Miss Gusherton-'Oh, really, MT. Hawker, if you mean this as a declaration, you must speak to mamma" Father" said the young man, a little inn patiently, s'why won't you let me have $75,- 900 to put into this Colorado mine?" The old man turned and beamed kindly on his son. My boy" he said gently, 'dont you go to fooIing around 8 Colorado mine until you know whether it is Ioded or not. Brook lyn Eagle.
 Old man Pettigrew, of Austin, is very pre- else in his statements, and is also strict eonstructionist. One morning neighbor rushed in on Pettigrew while the latter was eating his breakfast and exclaimed, excited ly: tfYour house is on fire" ''Sira'' 'sYour ap a1use RronR Rn sir this aie s not ~t0ng house. only rent it. t.''-Texas Siftings
 stThat young Mr. Smith is an awful fool. Do you know what he did when we were on the boat3' F'No; what did he do!' s'He obtained whisk broom and attempted to DruSu tL0 Wu1GeWhSn, us u6 cdlleu OH ily back Nothing very foolish about that" 'FNot if it had been whitewash, but you see it was nothing but my corsets showing through my Jersey. Mail and Express.
 He was getting thoroughly Respondent, and one evening after his wife had treated him to an unusually large slice of her mind, he said: "Well, Maria, I've stood this about as long as I can. I've about made up my mind to go and throw myself into the lake" 
 "Gracious knows there's sickness enough comes from that lake water already. Bur hngton Free Press.
 "Times have changed D said Old Tyson mournfully. "Tmes have changed" tfAnd as to whereforeg" asked his son. f'In former times" said the old one, tfman ate the crearn.n "And now!'' fsThey cremate the man" There was an awful pause, and Young Hyson walked out of the counting room on his tip-toes and told one of the salesmen he was afraid the old man was breaking up fast.-Brook1yn Eagle.
 A gentleman and his wife, the latter with . six months old infant in her arms, were about to enter the Austin Opera House to see the performance one night, when the doorkeeper suddenly said: Beg pardon, ina,ann, but you can't take infants insiden stvery well, 1" said the lady, ''so much the better for me. You just take care of the little fellow till the play is over-and, by the way, here's the milk bottle in case he should cry."-Texas Siftings
 !. He was tramp, and when he had care fully scanned the back yard for the expected wood-pi1e and found none, he quietly slid around, and, knocking at the front door, began his story of misfortune and his inabil- ity to get work. ssYes," said the farmer, who was of a classic turn, "but labor con quers all things; you remember the old saw, don't youq' ffYes, indeed I do,'' said the wayfarer, as tears started to his eyes, sand the remembrance is indeed painful, but as came along didn't see any hanging up on the back of the house, so thought I would ask for something to eat. Yes, remember the old saw, and the woodpile, too but have into the whereness of the whither. Boston Post.