The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-06-04
Johnnys Essay on Dogs.

The Dogs is great Sourse of na-
tional wealth but the Buffalows is
nearly extincted. The Dog is a do
mestic animal like the wolf and Fox
but most dogs ont stand it if you
tramp on their tale-he is knockter
nal in his habits but he don't squeel
like the Mules Il pig. We have
three dogs and Uncle Ben says all
3 ain worth damp plug oftobacco
to hiss. If you don't give dogs
enough to eat he becomes so avari
cious that he Will attact Human
people and on account of his great
Fidelity to Man he is called the King
of Beasts. The dogs are a rumina-
ting animal and if he had horns
he would chaw his quid. You can
know he is dreaming when he wants
to Bark and can't git his mouth open
but if something makes our dogs
awake at night Uncle Ben says they
make sich Racket like if all the
Hail was broke loose. Dogs is a
sourse of great Pleasure as the Faith
ful Companion of the lonely travelor
and when our Watch sees a peddler
or somebody going apast our house
he Lays Low till he gets past then
he sneeks up behind and bites his
legs-Every dog has his day-Bill
Thompson says that's the Law and
yon can't git over it and he says the
Dog Days was made so every dog
could mt have their days all at once
our Teacher she says the dog belongs
to the Wolf Family but Uncle Ben
he laughed, he said he knew better
than that with his one eye shut, for
he said he beats a wolf would be a
doggoned nice Family Man. This
Faithful Animal Guards the house
is Raped in Peace full Slumber and
Bill Thompson he says il dog has
woolin his teeth the next morning
its sign he,teared sheep the night be- |
And dog aint no Beast of pray, but
our Teacher she says that he's no
worse than other people for she says |
it don't mean that kind of Pray-but
the New Found Land dog is the |
hayriest of the whole Lot who can
swim more than week before he
Ascends to the surface to Breathe, |
he is therefore called the ship of the
Desert. And a Inglish bulldog is
awful onery to look at-Uncle Ben
he says'if a Inglish bulldog looks like
that he would like to see a dutch |
one. Bill Thompson he says they |
are called Inglish Bulldogs because
he says in Inglish the people use
them for bait when they want to
ketch bulls and that kind of ketch |
ing fish is called Bull batting, and
Bill Thompson, he says if a full
blooded Inglish Bulldog ketches a
Holt of Steers nose he is so sagas-
ciou that he wont let go even ii you
cut off one of your Hine legs. Dogs
Is like other Crertures and can't
talk, but Bill Thompson he says in
Old Times before the war Dogs
could talk Latin but now nobody
can talk any more Dog Latin except
the professors in the Collidges. The
dogs is Up on the hole the canister
animals that ever was and when
Prof. Daisyhead made a address in
our school he said if he had knOwed
as much about Scientific Animals as
us Boys he would a had a show to
be President too but he said in them
Dark Ages where he was born boys
had no show to be. President but
Jo Simmings said he would sooner
run a Engine than be President
because Garfield killed him. but Bill /
Thompson says JO hasn't got Back
Bones enough. Our teacher she
learnt to talk french at Miss krautch-
wanger's Boarded School and she
says if Won want TO make a dog
stand on bis Hine legs in french and
make a Bough, you Just say o Res
ervoir Mon Chair.-Hc Judge.