Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1884-08-04

l " NNo ioiNt WhNh ooiiy h't pWu
lover aud Mr. Dering's nephew, after all.
Something 20 Laugh AZ.
! A French Clock.-She mad been wait
ing long time for him to ask for his
nat. AT last he inquired What do
pat yon in mind OFF," :" A French
clock" she said, softly. He did not
know whether to be pleased, but soon
rose and went on his way. The next
morning he called upon an eminent
horOlogist, and asked him what was the
Distinguishing trait of French clock,
The horologist said "Why, 1t never
goes"
Jump on the SCALE" the butcher
said unto miss one day I'm us-d &c
weighing, and" said he, arm tell you
what you weigh" "Ah, yes" came
quick the sweet reply, from lips seemed
made TO kiss =" I'm sure, sir, that II
would not be first time you've weighed
amiss." The butcher blushed; he hung
his head and knew not what to say he
merely wished to weigh tho girl him
self was given away.
I 1t was at the house of the brides par
Tents, after the wedding On the table were
exposed the costly presents. Two gem
tieuon were examining them. Said
., nv hr;a ~ iueSe, yu'
~ ~ u . o., ,ios '1hi, 'ue wnac no
th ha s n,ha go Un' =. rep,leu tne
g w UIn !, -; ! no sets ehe woman.
enough for him."
oh, MILDRED, said Amy to the
high-school girl, yesterday" you ought
10 have seen Adolnhie when I told hmm
ha o|',,.,',,, 80 ,pnao "non so'u nun
81. Uas ali hrnha a " sse nc p, ans l dnas,
o., 81, hroLs ~ " - n', 'o,.
nj,.a tho HI .lphoo, - 60, H.
tnas ,.ad ,oaI -, ,., ~ soy, ~,
VOC 1900" ~ '''o'oouia' "iio"'s
nat 40 you think OF my it'll
duck =? whispered Augustus Pop;njay
70 eS wart , /" u a'.en"ioh' ~ oIil
49, 'o o,a A" ,1as. youns ,auy ~ iow
IT,, "am " ;, o,oosas' que uoohs
dnn,t vn o tt;u We" ,;,., JUG tsp'y nu.
- a ~ .n.nn u ~, "oro ofessihg
"o"u 'i"pio'o nor
| foor John, ne was kind and for
pearlhg husband, s0bbed the widow.
.ai5 s 1vn .sEu. .he iuustal les,
90 ~ ap".h'H'ns "eiSnoor out
ana 80 oo,ne ~ NV oIs' hou mus. Ky
ths ,hnnnh, 10, yo.'son, Iy y.h Seai =; WIN
naana ot ~, ,'"' Jou' n"s" VAL" 10 ~
pe"oe ~ ''''
| On, my dear. generous husband, !"
murmurs the fond wife. How grand
ou Oe dav - .iHvh eoalu oe ynu lol Jus.
ns 10y WY uea,oec ASKS me
wnM,d bun INA inan - ne Ca tnen
,;t,ia , 1ey - nov pohnes .ol my iovihg
ar ..,e WIG repies 'he oes'gning HUE
o'o".uio
| wen, remarked a woman in a
New England village, talking to her
s' uno. ooaluels apout neignoor,
sno 1no sleatesC natural iiar l ever
saw saw, anu anu we oIten thought, II she q
onay hau nrso'ciass educauoh IN ner
youln, ~nat an author shed made be-
lore 'hls
An elegantly dressed young lady re-
Gently entered a railway car where there
were three OF four gentlemen, one of
whom was Lighting cigar. Observing
her, ne astH ner II smoking wonid IN
commoue aef' she replied : LIDO not
Know, SIR 40 gentleman ever smoked
IN my presence.
| A hftIe boy asked his mother to talk
20 an and say something funny.
How can l ?'' she asked. Don't
you see l am busy baking these pies p
Well, you might say" answered
young hopeful, - Charlie, won't you
nave Pc Ihat wouid Dc iunny
LUZ you'
| Doctor, I've got the lumbago. What
had l better do for it ?" "Well, I
don think can recommend anything
more simple and efficacious than a
pias.e,. ihat JUST my luck ! l
nuVen : nnl anything oat ueawpacks
al my hfe' ana now here's anoth-
OF.
| Mrs. Thrifty, to shopman "If you
will cut me small sample Of this, /
VIII nnu oue from my aressmaker now
mauy yaros 1 need, ana can SEND Tor
tnS goods Dy post. Awful child
why mamma, thats just WHAT you
salu IN Ill INC other SHOPS
My case is just here" said citizen
10 lawyer. Inc pialntin VIII swear
.nae hlt mn. l VIII swear
.hal ulu no'. now, wnat eau you
lawyers make OUT OF ihAt II we go 10
.rla' Ten ooiiar hoee'' easy
wa" ,s, .no i,piy'
mis- said aprovls,on oea'er' AS ne
weighed ont a corned tongue Ior q
customer this never teils lies.
Hunph gro"leo tne customer
v;s;on hn %%s n9 ;, 'ne"N III '"o pio-
IN $50 ,,.>.
~. y, lat 'pe cllhie 70 Ine s.uuen.sl !:
Gentlemeh, ! nave 10 peg your PARDON.
~ We ~. .naue s,Igh. IN lr's, , anu taken
ri . n,,rs p tha ntbsr wh;cb s w;,l msts
oil r;ght ' o'Ao'' "A "' ' ~
IS"
Father VINO Is trying 10 teaca ms
son now 10 act whiie ~ tne taple) ::
~ , von, yuu sue , mnu III ~, nn :,