Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-11-25
BRIGHT BITS.

Mr.. BERGH is wanted in Cincinnati. The
hard hearted owner of Maud 5. has ordered
her shoes removed, and she viii have to go
barefoot all winter.
DIDN'T SURPRISE HER-"Say, conductor,
don't be stingy about IL. Introduce me 10
that woman you were just talking to so low
ingly." Certainly. step right over. Mrs
DObbins this is Mr.. ~Stebbins,' and the con-
lighted to know you. Widow, 1 suppose. Let
me warn you against making the acquaint-
ance Of that conductor. He'll deceive you"
''Oh, bless you, Mr.. Stebblns, l expect that.
81 BELIEVE Mormonism is doomed" said an
elder Of that faith as his half dozen of wives
pressed him fOndly to their hearts on his re-
turn from a journey. "Oh, say not SOP they
exclaimed in chorus as they clasped him
tighter. Il fear it is he sadly rejoined.
But why do you think so2" they inquired.
Because he answered, as he endeavOred TO
untwist the coil of arms around him, because
the sentiment Of the country IS aroused
against the Associated Press. '-Boston
Courier.
brandy" SAID a mar during a conYersa-
tiOn on intemperance. why, it's the worst
drink in the world. That's what killed BIZ!
Fellers.' "BiH Fellers is not dead" replied
some one. Il saw him out in the mountains
the other day. well, no difference" said
the first speaker. Brandy is what Will Kill
him" Il don't see how it can, tor he never
drinks a drop of it." "Ah, well, it's what
would kill him if ne we're to drink it. You
are so confOunded particular that a man can't
talk 10 YOU"
ASAN FRANCISCO journalist has just re-
ceived an offer TO 90 to Southern California 10
conduct a journal there. The proprietor
writes: The salary. SIS a week, may sound
small, but, being in the centre Of an agrlcul-
tural district, we are constantly receiving
large gifts of potatoes, grapes, delicious peas,
and. indeed, everything IN season. WhlCh,
after being duly noticed, would become your
perquisites. The editorial table turns up and
makes a capital bed at night, and there is an
excellent stove to boil coffee on. If you can
play hymn tunes there is a vacancy, also, OF
IS a month for an organist."
Now the summer hath fed,
And each night in his bed,
Doth he SILVER and mourn DER his lot;
No warm blankets hath he,
And this Winter-ah. mel
In that garnet he'll freeze. like as not.
In his windows. about
Half the panes are Knocked out,
And the winds bring him cold discomfort;
Oh! he's chilly and sick,
But the poet can't ''kick,"
For he owes his landlady for rent!
-Nsl0 York Journal.
MANY AGO the chief inn at Keswick
WAS called the Cock" and was much IRE
quented by the visitors to the lake districts.
But the late Bishop Of LANDAU, DR.. Watson,
happening to reside in the neignborhOOd,
the landlord, out of compliment to
him, changed his sign to the
in the village, the proprietor selected the
cock as his sign. The landlord of the old inn
finding that the rival establishment, owing to
its name. threatened to deprive him OF many
Of his customers, in consequence Of the guide
books recommending the ''Cock" as the best
inn, wrote under the Bishops head at his
door: ssThi Is the original Old Cock 10 the
great amusement of the acknowledging.