Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1884-05-09
FUN
CoDventio nalism vs.. Truth.

CONVENTIONAL. TRUTH.
He has accepted After much tkir.
position with the mishing around, he
firm of, etc. has succeeded in
finding q job.
The happy recipi- The happy recipi.
ent, although COM ent, having prevt-
pletely taken by sur ously been notified
prise. was fully of the affair, had q
equal to the occasion speech prepared,
and made neat which he delivered
speech In reply.
The friends of Mr. Mr.. John Smith,
John Smith, one of of ward ten, is work
the most popular ing with all his soul
citizens ia ward ten, for the nomination
are urging him to to the house of rep
accept a nomination resentatives In bis
to the house of rep district, but the pro
resentatives from liabilities are that
the 999.h district. he will get left.
1t Is uncertain
whether or not he
will accept 1t.
Our genial and John Jones, ESQ.,,
popular citizen. Jno. learning that rival
Jones. esq.,, was pre- in business had been
scented With gold pi esented with q
watch by his many chain and locket
friends on Tues day suggested to con-
evening. The gift fidential friend that
was total surprise. ii his associates,
The presentation would present him
was made at aMr. with a watch he
J0nes's residence would subscribe
After the presenta. three fourths of the
tiOn an elegant Col money towards its
latiOn was served by purchase and fur
Mrs. Jones, and the nish COLLATION. to
happy affair was the supposed dom
wound up with a ors.
dance.
-Someruille Journal.
81 TELL thee nay, Henrico 'Twers
PROCLAMATION that my lips should know
the touch of thine that yet are moist with
wassail!'
with wassail, say st thou? Onymph
OF bias tongue what meaneth thou ?"
II mean that to my nOstrils depths doth
come the fumes of that which tells me
thou dld'st vigil keep last night with SONS
of Bacchus."
"Fie, sweet Andromeda. thou wrong st
mel Last night struggled with bilious
turn, and tits Jamaica ginger bears thee
proof"
"a truce unto thy subterfuge, thou
knavel My nasal parts do know this Gin
ger well; It's other scent than this that
tangs thy lips"
20 Heavens that thou should'st doubt
/ me, tickle onel May it not be that sith
from the BARRIERS came there is bay.rum
flavor to me presence that gives thee hint
OF liquid meet for orgies and carouse ?"
"Bay.rum! Gewillikinsl That any
tonsor would thy head anoint with bay.
rum that doth SAVIOR of benzine !"
"Benzlne said'st thou, Andromeda 2"
"Aye, that's the word, Henrico Ben
zine! Benzine ~
"This pungent stuff that doth oureach
imburger in its range 7"
s'The same, Henrico!"
II thank thee for that word,
Andromeda IT'S here TITS herei"
holding out hands.) "These gloves have
but this nom ent from the scourer' g como
There ten long days they were In du-
lance -
rye Gods light breaks through this
eil Of doubt Thy gloves are cleaner
han their won't, tits true And thou
Filt swear thou hast not made thy paunch
reservoir for foaming beer ?'
Upon me sword swear 1t, maid of
hine!''
"Then do give thee pardon, sweet my
ord, and bid thee swoop as thou did st
rst intend.''
II swoop, Andromeda! And hence
Prth. gentle one. should sught of benzine
nge my atmosphere, chide not thou me
pr beer might have drank, but conjure
thy mind the thought that cen a
night must sometime have his gauntlets
eaned p
Soda fountains are already beginning
explode this year. Break the news to
|ur best girl.
Father-"You can't manage kite big
pr than yourself" Son mot 60 stupid
he looks -"Why NOT? Mother mana
Ps you.''