Smyrna times., 1884-04-09
WHOLE NO. 1900.
The Borer Bored.

Hostetter McGinness is a tall man.
but, at the same time, he looks as if he
was not long for this world. He is
hOllow-chested, and so thin that one
might suppose that he had not had
anything to eat since the war. As he
walks along the streets Of Austin, the
undertakers come out, and cast long
lingering glances after him, and no
wonder; for he has been looking as if
he might suddenly need their services
at any time during the last ten years
He has, moreover, a hacking cough
that has genuine graveyard ring it,
but it never effects his appetite in the
least.
Not long ago it occurred to Hostel
ter McGinness that it would be good
idea to have his life insured. He had
previously experienced some surprise
that he had never suffered from the
opportunities of insurance agents. To
his amazemeDt, he found that they
were afraid to insure his life, for fear
he would die in short time after
wards. Being somewhat of humor-
GUS turn, Hostetter made it practice
to worry life insurance agents on each
and every occasion. He almost bOres
them to death, more for the fun of it
than anything else
Not long since he tackled one in the
Brunswick Hotel. The man had Just
had his breakfast, and was as happy as
1t WAS possible for a man to be. Intro
ducing himself, HOstetter began inter
viewing the victim, who represented a
prominent New York Company, the
Manhattan.
You represent solid company,
and that's the reason | want to talk
business with you. You have got the
boss company in the United States"
said HOstetter, persuasively.
The agent was somewhat bewilder-
cd. He never before had had anything
of that kind said to him. 1t was his
business to talk in that strain.
" regard it as privilege to be al
lowed to insure with such a frst-class
company" continued Hostetter, reach
ing out skeleton hand, and button
: holing the agent, who managed to say
1--WE are only taking first-class risks,
and you look -"
I Yes, | know l look consumptive,
: but l am the most deceiving man you
e ever saw. I've looked as poorly as l
do now all my life, and haven't died
: yet My grandfather, and father, both
S of whom l resemble very much, are
1t alive yet. The old man is ninety-six
IL and can thread needle without
l. crutches. can run mile inside of
e four minutes"
e "rd like to see you try it," remark
N ed the insurance agent, smiling.
=. I" don't want no levity about this
lie thing. | mean business. l can OffeI
}; you more inducements to insure mt
t, than any other two men in this town
h. l never travel ON the railroads anC
a. never get drunk. No other man il
Austin will offer you any such induce
* ments as those to insure his life. an
I'd first-class risk. l am not quarrel
II some man, and as don't steal horses
lg there is no danger of my being shot o
IS hung. l tell you that you can hun
Is. around here for six months, and no
ng find man who will offer you such in
or ducements."
le- But, my dear sir, don't want t
wv insure your life"
l THAT'S what they all say, but afte
ess talk with them a few days, the
l change their minds. am offering yo
extraordinary inducements, and it's
on duty you owe your company to insur
'ed my life while you have "A chance. Yo
rk don't know what may happen. Yo
ov- may die before night, and then yo
Der will always regret not having accepte
eat my offer, and the company will doc
us, your salary if they hear of it, and
nd intend to write to them"
on Il hope you will excuse me, but
ea have business engagement" expo
Y Il tulated the insurance agent.
md 'In minute. I've been vaccinatC
four times, and it took every time.
ter am a man of considerable influenC
her and if it is known that have insure
e of with you, there is no telling how maj
as more people you will get. Secure Il
hat shadow ere the substance fades away.
ga Il am too busy to listen to you"
eat Il don't wish to bore you, so l W
use call again when you are at leisure.
are don't intend you shall leave tov
the without insuring my life. You mU
Iere remember, some other company nj
un- gobble me up if you do not impro
risk the shining hour, but l have pref
uch dice in favor of your company"
e of GOOD day, sir" and the agent d
gen. appeared through a side door, a
: of Hostetter McGinness sat down a
and laughed until the tears rolled down
1t hollow cheeks.-TerGs Sittings.