Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-03
WIN AND HUMOR.


a frenchman has disproved the no
ton that garlic is cure for hydropho-
bin. This will rob the disease of much
of its terror.
A poet chirps: s.Encircled by that
yaWnlng gulf / stood entranced." 1t
looks like delicate intimation of the
TACT that he tried TO kiss St Louis
girl.
Not as broad as it is long Sleeping
car conductor: ''You can roll in when
ever you want to. Fat man: Yes,
and roll out wnen / don't want to. y,
Texas SUting5.
Rosa Bonheur's hair turned white
during her recent illness. Mr. Barnum
would give considerable if his lately
acquired elephant would do likewise.
1t IS now about the color of the ashes
Of 2-cent cigar.
A little 5-year-oid boy, who had seen
peacock for the first time, ran into
the house. exclaiming TO his sister:
ION, Lizzie! I've seen u great, big,
monstiterous tail walking round, with
q hen tied to itI'
A religious weekly tells ''How to
keep from going to sleep in church."
One way IS to change your minister;
but the most effective way is to go fish
ing IN the morning, and remain home
At night to rest.
A woman started the first daily paper
in the world in London in 1902. 1t is
believed that she did it to break up a
sewing society which would not admit
her. The paper published all the news
before the sewing society met, and in
less than month the society went to
pieces.
At medical examination the pro-
lessor said to q student: 81 will sup
pose that man has fallen into deep
excavation and broken his skull upon
one OF the tools the workment left
there. You are summoned. What
would you do?" The student: 'Iwould
leave the man there and have the ex-
caTation filled up!"
Thomas Holloway, the pill man, is
dead. He was worth 100000 He
never took any of his own pills, and
died at the age of 81 years, fully con-
vinced that there is more dollars in
selling pills than there is cents is tax
ing them. Reader, 90 thou and do
likewise. The HalOheye is the best adj
Vestising medium in America. Bur
lj'1gt0'o Haa0keye.
The Empress of Austria can set type.
-EGckG17ge. We have been fortunate
enough to obtain q proof-sheet of
dozen society" items set by the EN-
press, and present herewith speci-
men o. her composition: "Tqe Beauti-
Jul MAMIE Krowskie. wVo Dresses a0ith
such exseIlen4 is visiqinS heI friend
Luji9 JaMbrobeski!'-N o7T5StoqOn Her.
aid.
At an evening school for adults in
Hornsey "The Horse" was given to
the pupils as subject of composition.
An agricultural cottager-one of those
who will shortly have q vote-set to
work With will, and executed the fol-
lowing: The Ors is the noblest of an
ermals and so is the kow. If you hit
i'm he won't do it. The ors has 4 legs
l in each korner. Finis. "-Lond0n
Graphic.
According to the Philadelphia Times,
society in that city is agitated over the
IOuGCl-
ors" which are put out at second-story
windows, to allow the inmates of a
house to see what is going on outside,
and, in particular, who is ringing the
front door bell, are to be tolerated. 1t
seems to be very generally agreed that
they are convenient, but in 'horrid
form. :" They are very numerous.
A mother seal followed schooner
which had captured her baby along the
coast of California for eighty miles.
After the vessel reached the wharf at
Santa Barbara the young seal was tied
up in q jute sack and let loose on the
deck. Soon after coming to anchor
the seal responded to its mother calls
by casting itself overheard, all tied up
as it was in the sack. The mother
seized the sack, and with her sharp
teeth tore it open, and the reunited
pair swan off together. -I'a{eS Of the
Pacific.
The meanest girl has just been found
She is an Abba, Iowa, girl who has 81
pet calf, which she has haltered in the
front yard. She has taught it to fight,
and when her fellow takes his depar-'
ture she loosens the picket rope and.
rope and the calf butts him over. She,
rushes to his rescue with seemingly,
heroic devotion and saves him. Hero
ISM is great quality in woman, but
it is unfair for a girl to win the afec-'
tons of her fellow by this deception,
matter if ignorance is bliss.
A merchant in Berlin, having fallen
in love with an opera singer, purchased
two dresses and sent them to her to
make her choice, saying he would call
to know her decision. Shortly, how
ever, before the hour he had intended
to set out on his errand, the merchant
received from his beloved q billet dour
to the following effect: ''Of the dresses
you have sent like one quite as well
as the other. | will, in fact, keep both,
so that you have no need to call. :"
We'll" said the proprietor of a sea-
side hotel to his chief clerk, sit is about
time we were thinking about needed
improvements. ''What are you 60
- +o H., i h. Ill