davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Naming Steamers.

The practice Of giving what might be
called family names to fleets of steam
ers has become almost universal among
British ship owners. Formerly a ship,
like n man in the middle ages, had no
family name. The Cunard Company
was the first to name its fleet system
atically. We have now fleets named
after States, cities, hills, and monarchs,
and one of the first elements of respect
ability IN line of steamers is that the
vessels should have n uniform system
family name. The search for fleet
names has led to occasional absurdities.
Why, for example, should ship be
named after city? Cities never go to
sea. Even Venice, the most maritime
of cities, lies forever at anchorage in
her lagoon. To go to sea in the City
of Pittsburgh would be as absurd as it
would be undesirable, and the man who
would embark in the City of Cincinnati
would be simply tempting sea-sickness.
Still more ob, ,tionable would it he to
go TO sea with a Parthian Monarch or
an Ethiopian Monarch. A steamship
is modern to the last degree, and there
is no democracy which levels so surely
as the waves. What, then, has the sea-
farer to do with "monarchs, and ancient
monarchs at that? From marine
point of view they are as absurd as
cities" and, if possible, more absurd
than hills" "glens," or castles. -
NeW York Times.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Her Monument.

She built it herself, and vet she did
not know that she had a monument.
She lived in it, but she did not know
that it existed.
Her monument was her home. 1t
grew up quietly, as quietly as a flower
grows, and no one knew-she did not
know herself-how much she had done
to tend and water and train it. Her
husband had absolute trust in her. He
earned the money; she expended it.
And as she put as much thought in her
expenditure as lie put i'll his earning,
each dollar was doubled in the ex end
ing. She had inherited that mysteri-
GUS faculty which we call taste, and she
cultivated it with fidelity. Every home
she visited she studied, though always
unconsciouslv, as though it were a mu-
scum or an art gallery; and from every
visit she brought away some thought
which came out of the alembic of her
loving imagination fitted to its appro-
pirate place III her own home. She
was too genuine to be an imitator-for
imitation Is always of kin to falsehood
and she abhorred falsehood. She
was patient with everything but lie.
SO she never copied III her own home
or on her own person what she had
seen elsewhere; yet everything she saw
elsewhere entered into and helped to
compl tie the perfect picture of Life
which she was always painting with
deft fingers in everything, from the
honeysuckle which she trained over the
door to the bureau in the guests room
which her des gning made a new work
of art Tor every new friend, If it were
only by new nosegay and change of
vases. Putting her own personality
into her home, making every room and
almost every article of furniture speak
of her, she had the gift to draw out
from every guest his personality and
make him at home, and so make him
his truest and best self. Neither man
nor woman of the world could long re-
sist the subtle influence of that home /;
the warmth of its truth and love thawed
out the frozen proprieties from imper-
sonated Ell Iuette, and whatever circle
of friends sat on the broad piazza in
summer or gatht red around the open
fire in winter knew for time the rare
Joy of lberty-tbe liberty of perfect
anu BtLltOb lONt. liti Wub
hospitable because her heart was large
and any one was her friend to whom
she could minister. But her heart was
like the old jewish temple-strangers
only came into the court of the gentiles,
friends into an inner court; her hus-
band and her children found court
yet nearer her heart of heart; yet even
they knew that there was holy of
holes which she kept for her God, and
they loved and revered her the more
for it. So strangely was commingled
in her the inclusiveness and the exclu-
siveness of love, its hospitality, and its
reserve.
All, blessed home-builderi You have
no cause to envy women with q gift. I"
For there is nothing so sacred on earth
as a home, and no priest on earth so
divine rs the wife and mother who
makes it, and no gift so great as the
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

The average English Joke has its
peculiarities. A sort of mellow dis
tance; kind of chastened reluctance.
A coy and timid, yet trusting, though
evanescent intangibility, which softly
fingers in the troubled air, and lulls the
tired senses to dreary rest, like the
subdued murmur. OF hoarse jackass
about nine miles up the gulch.
He must be hardened wretch, in
deed, who has not felt his bosom heave
and the scalding tears steal down his
furrowed cheek after he has read an
English joke. There can be no hope
for the man who has not been touched
by the gentle, pleading, yet all-potent
sadness embodied in the humorous par
agraph of the true Englishman.
One may fritter away his existence in
chasing the follies of our day and gen.
GRAFTON, and have naught to look back
upon but choice assortment of robust
regrets; but if he will stop in his mad
career to read an English pun, his at
tention will be called to the solemn
thought that life is, after all, but tear
full journey to the tomb.
Death and disaster on every hand
may fail to turn the minds of thought
less world to serious matters, but when
the London funny man grapples with q
particularly skHtish and evasive joke,
with its weeping willow attachment,
and hurls it at giddy and reckless
humanity, prolonged wall of anguish
Der pail hangs in the gladstone sky like
a pair of soldier pants with only one
suspender.
Ii the lost and undone victim to the
great catalogue of damning vice and
enervating dissipation will for a mo-
ment turn his mind to the solemn con-
sideration of the London Punch, and
wrestle with it alone, where the prying
eyes of the world cannot penetrate,
though unused TO tears, the fountains
of the great deep in his nature will be
opened up, and he will see the black
ness of intense darkness which sur
rounds him, and be led to penitence
and abject humanity.
The mission OF the English humorist
is to darken the horizon and shut out
the false and treacherous Joy of exist
ence-to shut out the beauty Of the
landscape and scatter a - gloom over
the glad green earth.
English humor is like sore toe. 1t
makes You glad when you get over it.
1t is like smallpox, because if you live
through it you are not likely to have it
again.
When we pass from earth, and our
place is filled by another sad-eyed gen.
JUS whose pants are toe short, and
who manifests other signs of greatness,
let no STORED urn or animated bust be
placed above our lowly resting place,
but stuff an English conundrum so that
it will look as it did in life, and let it
stand above our silent dust, to shed its
damp and bilious influence through the
cemetery, as a monument of desolation
and fountain. of unshed tears, and the
grave robber will shun our final resting
place as he would the melon patch
where turks the spring gun and the
alert and irritable bulldog. Bill Nye.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Feared Another Attack OF Malaria.

A long-striped snake crawled into q
basement loon and was in the middle
of the room before any one saw it. The
inmates stood aghast and speechless
for several seconds, when one of them
pointing his finger at the object, man.
aged to articulate: "Do any of the rest
of you see that?" They responded in
a chorus "Yes, we ali do" ats q
great relief to me to know it," said the
first, "for l thought was going to have
another attack of malaria" "Me, too, =
responded the chorus, and then they
fell on the snake with billiard cues and
killed -Ydnkton Press.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Unc,e BiIly's Superstition About BrOOms

"Ef you put broom in de cornder
always let de broom part be on de flo
an de hanel stickin' up, kase if you
don't bad luck gwine come to dat house
des as sho' as you do it; deed it will. F"
This was queer statement, III the
opinion of the market men, and, the
idea being ridiculed, Uncle Billy APP
pealed to celored man whom he called
Dick, whereupon Dick enthusiastically
indorsed his old partner by declaring !:
"Unk' Billy is talzin' de right sort er
talk, gemmen. He am tellin' de truf,
eff ebber she wos spoke. Whatever
you do, doan come ter my house an set
q broom up de wrong way, an let her
stay dat way ODER night"
Dick further strengthened his testi-
mony on the broom question by saying !:
EFF you think dis ant de truf, doan
let man make pass at you wild broom
what bin settin' up de wrong way ober
night, kase, eff you does, you gwine ter
Jail, sho'."
$50 to Jail !" some one exclaimed.
"Yasser, go ter jail OATS what L
said, an L knows what Use sayin', kase
done bin dar. Man made pass at me
wild q long-hanel broom, an bless
erasmus fore de mex night l was in de
calaboose. Course, faint no hurt ter
have ian make pass at you wild wiss
broom, kaze dat's no harm.
Hear dat !" said Uncle Billy, as he
Rugged his fish tighter and started to
walk off leisurely, while the Teutonic
fish-vender laughed immoderately and
repeated his former assertion that they
We're a set of gray goons. 81. Louis
Republican.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
What They Live On.

"Gracious mel" said young lady OF
the slums committee, going into a room
on the fourth floor of miserable ten.
ement, "this is awful"
Fearful" replied her companion.
"Why here's q mother and five chill.
dren, all cooped up together in little
room, with not even the necessaries OF
life"
Terrible, terrible. L don't see what
the poor things live on"
Il do" said the man CARRYING their
basket; "they live on the fourth floor.
The young ladies dispensed Their
charity in silence, and then reported
the man to the police,-Merchdnj
TrareLeT.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Taking Care or a Family.

At tell you what it u.s." he said, as he
begged little assistance. "It's pretty
tough to see ones wife and children
suffering for bread"
"You look as though you had all you
wanted to eat"
"Yes, 1 have to keep myself in good
condition. You see, my wife is obliged
to stay at home to take care of the
children, and if / should give out, 1
don't know what they would do. There
wouldn't be anybody to beg. Poverty
is bitter thing, gentlemen. "-Nelo
York sam.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Vital Questions 7!

Ask the most eminent physician
or any school, what Is the best thing In
the world for quoting and allaying all irri-
tation of the nerves and curing all forms OF
nervous complaints, giving natural, child
like, refreshing sleep alwaysp
And they will tell You unhesitatingly
Some folm of Hops!"
CHAPTER I.
Ask any or oil of the most eminent physi-
clans:
What is the best and only remedy that
/ can be relied on to cure all diseases of the
kidneys and urinary organs; such as Bright'9
disease, diabetes, retention or inability ID re-
tain urine, and all the diseases and ailments
peculiar to Women
And they will tell you explicitly and en-
phatically "Buchu.
Ask the same physicians
What is the most reliable and surest cure
for all liver diseases or dyspepsia, constipa-
ton, Indigestion, biliousness, malarial fever,
ague, &c.?" and they will tell you:
Mandrake! or Dandelion!"
Hence, when these remedies are combined
with others equally valuable
And compounded into Hop Bitters, such
q wonderful and mysterious curntive power
is developed which is 30 varied in its opera
tons that no disease or ill-health can possi-
bly, exist or resist its power, and yet it il
Harmless for the most frail woman, weak
est invalid or smallest child to use.
CHAPTER II.
Patients
Almost dead.or nearly dying
For years, and given up by physicians OF
Brights and other kidney diseases, liver
complaints, severe coughs called consump-
ton, have been cured.
Women gone nearly crazyl
From agony Of neuralgia, nervousness,
wakefulness and various diseases peculiar
TO women.
People drawn ont Of shape from excruci-
ating pangs of rheumatism,
Iniammatory and chronic, or suffering
from scrofulai
Eryspelasl
Salt rhcum, blood poisoning, dyspepsia. indi-
gestion, and in fact almost all diseases frail
Nature is heir TO
Have been cured by Hop Bitters, proof Of
which can be found in every ncighborhood In
the known world.
BS-None gem inc without bunch of green
Hops on tn white label. Shun all the VILE pols-
onous etutf with Hon or "Fo' 81 in their name.
FnlICATI0NAl INSrlTlIrlONa
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Capital Comfort.

WASHINGTON, d. C.-Mrs. Mary X.
Sbeed, lilo Maryland avenue, Washington,
d. c., states that for several years she had
suffered terribly with facial neuralgia and
could find no relief. In recent attack,
which extended TO the neck, shoulders, and
back, the pain was intense. She resolved
to try ST. Jacobs Oil, the greatp pain reliever.
Rubbing the parts affected, three times
only, ali pain vanished as if by magic, and
has not returned
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Twenty five Per Cent. Stronger than Any
Other Butter Color.

BURLINGToS, VT, May 3, 1882.
/ hereby certify that | have examined the
Butter Color prepared by Wells, Richardson
& Co., and that the same is free from alkHli
or any other substance injurious TO health
that have compared IL with some of the best
OF the other Butter Colors in the market and
find IL TO be more than twenty-five per cent.
stronger i'm color than the best of the others,
am satisfied that It Is not liable TO become
rancid or ineany way TO injure the butter.
have examined It after two months free ex-
posure 10 the air in place liable to large
changes of temperature, and found no trace
of rancidity, while ether kinds similarly ex-
posed became rancid. A. II. SABIN,
Prof. Chemistry, University of Vermont.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Great Head.

II have a great head on me this morn
ing," observed Mr.. Augur to his wife,
as he bound a wet towel around his
cranium.
Heaven knows that you need it bad
enough" sympathetically replied that
lady, as she rolled over for another nap.
---NeU York Graphic.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

The best salve used in the world for cuts,
bruises piles, sores, ulcers salt rheum, tet
ter, chapped hands, chilblans, COINS, and all
kinds OF skin eruptions, freckles AMI pimples.
The salve is guaranteed TO give perfect salts
faction In every case. BE sure you get Hen
ry's Carbolic Salvc, as all others are but imi-
tations and counterfeits
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
"Put nm" at the GauIt House.

The business man or tourist Will ma lrs No
class accommodations at the low price OF go
and g.. so per day at the Gault HOUSE, Chlca-
90. corner Clinton and Madison streets. THIS
far-famed hotel is located in tho center III the
city. only one block from the Union Depot
Elevator; all appointments tirst-class.
H. w. HoYT, Proprietor.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
simply WONDERFUL!

The cures that are being made in nearly all
chronic diseases, by Compound Oxygen,
which is taken by inhalation, are Simpil,
Uondcrfm. If you are in need OF such a
treatment, write 10 Drs. Starkey & Paleu,
1lO9 Girard St., Philadelphia.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
st. EEARY'S ACAOE MY


The 30th Academic term will open Monday Sept
LIST. The Academic Course IL thorough in the Pre-
paratOry Senior and Classical Grades. Music Depart
ment the Jan OF the best Conservatertes of Eu-
rope * under charge of complete corps OF teachers
10 comprises large Music Hall and .S separate rooms
for Instruments. Studio modelled on the great Art
schools of Europe. Drawing and Painting from life
and the antique. Photography and Iype-Wrting
taught Building equipped with Fire Escape; ample
accommodations for 20 pupils For fun particulars
apply ior catalogue 20 NJ TIA. SuperiOrr {. Marys,
Notre Dame r. o., st. Joseph Co., Ind
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

MANY ladies who for years had scarcely ever
enjoyed the luxury of feeling well have been
renovated by the use of Lydia P.nkhams
Vegetable Compound.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

CABBY ION receiving his exact fare): "Oh,
pray step in again. sir; | could ha' druv you
a yard or two further for this erel'
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

gift which CRAFTS this bud OF heaven on
the common stock Of earth. "Her chill
dren shall rise mp and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praiseth her."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

The Horsford Almanac and Cook Book
mailed free on application to the Rumford
Chemical Works, Providence. Il. l.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

THE modern funeral is dearer than life.
This is why SO many people hesitate TO die.
IL costs more 10 die than to hvc.-Peck's
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
GnrllO-lineS.

The winter blast - stern and cold,
Yet summer has is harvest gold;
And the baldcst head that ever was seen
Can be covered well with Cnrholne.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
MnNsMAN's PEPToNrzEp BEEF To

MENsMAN's PEPToNIZED BEEF ToNIC, the
only preparation of beef containing its en-
tire nutritious properties. 1t contains blood
making, force generating, and lifesusianing
properties; invaluable for indigestion, dys-
pcpsia, nervous prostration, and all forms OF
General debility; also, in all enieebled condi
tions, whether the result of exhaustion. nerv-
Gus prostration, over.work, or acute disease,
particularly If resulting from pulmonary
complaints. Caswell, Hazard Co., proprie-
tors. New York. Sold by druggists.
Bed-bugs flies reaches, ants, rats, mice,
cleared out by Rough on Rats" 15c.
No NEED of being i'm osed on If you viii in.
sist on having Frazer Branl of Axle Grease.
Singing irrit alton, inflammation, all kidney and
urinary complaints, cured by "Buchu-Paiba. 81.
II a cough disturbs your sleep, one dose OF
Piso's Cure will give you nights rest.
Rough on Pain" Quick cure for Collie. Cramps,
Diarrh9a, Aches, Pains, Sprains, Headache.
HEAbACHE is Immediately relieved by the
use Of Piso's Remedy for Catarrh.
Nervous Weakness Dyspepsia, Sexual De-
bility, cured by "We.ls Health Remover" 81.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
Hcnry's Carbolic Saiye.

IT is probable that beef tea was invented
about the time Henry VIII. dissolved tho
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

RENT pin on chair is an Indication OF an
e1rly spring.-Terds SUttngs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

Bed-bugs, flies. reaches, ants, rats mice,
cleared out by Rough on Rats" 15c.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

No NEED of being i'm osed on If you viii in.
sist on having Frazer Branl of Axle Grease.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

II cough disturbs your sleep one dose Of
Piso's Cure will give you nights rest.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

Singing, irrit alton, Inflammation all kidney and
urinary complaints cured by "Buchu- Paiba.' 81.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31

Rough on Pain" Quick cure for Collie, Cramps
Diarrhda, Aches. Pains, Sprains, Headache.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1884-07-16
To DO Good and Distribute-Foi

To DO Good and Distribute-Forset NotF'
In the fierce heat at MONDAY, at New Or
leans, La. on Thursday, Juno IL, as usual,
Generals G. T. Beaurcgsrd, of La, and
,Iubal A. Early, of Va, met to aid that most
Ineritorious institution-the ancient Char
ity Hospital by giving away at the Grand
Golden Drawing (the l69th monthly of
the Louisiana State Lottery. The wheel
wlnlled around and scattered half million
Collar right and left. Without particular
ling too many of the winners to become
tedious we report that ticket No. S6,itO
drew the first capital prize Of $4,000. 1t
,sas sold in halves, one Of which SCI! to a
lucky New Yorker who has not allowed
his name to be used. Ticket No 53,77O
crew the second capital of $50. 900, one half
If which was held by S. NJ RothschiId
merchant of No. 232 Church street,
New York city. Ticket No. 27,S7O drew
the Third Capital of $4,000; it was sold in
lenths, one TO Mr. ID. Geo Henkels. well
known citizen of Philadelphia, Pa another
10 Mr. Chas. Clarke of the same city; an
other to A. +. Badlam. collected through
Wells, Fargo & Co.'S Bank, of San Fran
cisco, Cal; another to Phil. G. Gruber.
Milwaukee, Wis. Nos ll,lSl and 1909
drew the Fourth Capital of $4,000 each;
sold in fractions, one-fifth to VIM. Boyd,
No. 1922 School street, St Louis, Mo-;
Nos. 1882, 66,ll4, 1860, sO,6sl, drew
s., 900 each, and so it went on. The next
drawing Q7Ist) will occur on Tuesday,
August ~, of which full information can be
had of NJ A. Dauphin, New Orleans, La.
S2655OO will he scattered to holders Of
tickets costing s.. DO not delay the oppor-
tunjtv
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1884-07-16
O,HANLON'S HARD LUCK
In Upsetting and Losing Race to
MoniCer,

In Upsetting and Losing Race to
Moniger.
0'Hanlon, the wellknown oarsman who
made such kicking record here, two years
ago, met a DISASTROUS defeat on Monday
morning, at McKeesport, by Moniger, the
man who was afraid to tackle Ritz. The
oarsmen were called out at ten o'clock,
O'Hanlon not whiting to start on account
of the water being 50 rough. The judge
and referee were over the course a short
distance and they decided to allow the men
TO row. The start was made about HIS,
0'Hanlon taking the lead, which was held
for short distance only Moniger gained
on him and was in the lead about one and
a half lengths at Market street, when
O'Hanlon made squirt and took the lead
again and maintained it til opposite
Woods rolling mill, where he struck
some obstacle in the water and al
most turned his boat around. Reco reriug
himself he did his best to catch up but the
water being so rough il filled his boat, and
it commenced to rock and roll from one side
to the other throwing him out into the wa
ter. breaking the box on his boat He then
pulled to shore. got out and emptied the
water out of his boat, then he got in again.
Seeing there was no chance for him to wiR
he returned to the referee, not going to the
buoy at all. 0'Hanlon lost considerable
money on thiSr race, as he was backing him
SELF and, no doubt, he feels pretty bad about
the affair. he says he can beat Moniger
on smooth water and felt confident of win
ming the race, notwithstanding the rough
water. SEQ