The state journal. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1883-1885, 1884-12-20
Continued from last week.
v.

Two days later | was sent for by Mr.
Barker, the jail chaplain, for whom had
acted as amanuensis on more than one &C.
casion previously.
81 have here a confession, he said,
(which was written out by MIR. Van
Klugen the night before his execution.
1t is a singular document-so singular,
indeed, that can only set it down as the
product of a mind diseased and thor
oughly out of tune. Before allowing the
original to pass out of my hands | am de
sirous of having a copy made for my
private use. That task | now intrust to
you, relying implicitly upon your dis
erection to keep the contents of the docu-
ment a secret from every one"
took the confession, and alter had
finished Mr. Bankers copy, | thought
that mis ht as well make duplicate for
myself Here it is:
HEMINGFoRD JAIL,
MONDAY, August A, 18-.S
1.-THE clock has just struck 70, and
nine hours are all that are now left to me
in this world. There is dull sound of
hammering in the distance, the meaning
of which l cannot mistake. But it is
early yet, and the hangman is doubtless
sleeping the sleep Of the just.
Il can hardly bring the thought home
to my mind that l am really and truly to
die when the next clock strikes 8. Yet
such is the lamentable fact and | must
hurry over my confessional confession
it can be called.
Were l a humoriSt / could find food
for nIirth, though it were Of the grim
NEST in my present predicament--or
rather in the thought how every one
around me is being fooled without one of
them so much as suspecting it. Neither
the worthy Governor, nor the chaplain,
nor the sheriff, nor the bangman dreams
for one moment that they are about to
carry out what is termed "the last SEN
tence Of the law on the wrong man.
And yet such is the indubitable fact. At
O'Clock this summer morning they are
going to hang, not Felix Van Klugen,
but Herbert Trevis, but they don't know
it, and they never would know it were |
to die without penning these lines Those
who read them will probably disbelieve
what | am about to set down. But can
not help that. My object, even had I
the requisite time and inclination, is not
to strive to make converts, but to leave
behind me simple record of facts.
TO begin at the beginning. was the
only son of well.tO do parents, and hav-
ing in addition certain expectations from
rich uncle, | was brought up to no
profession, nor, indeed, ever taught to do
days work in my life. For some years
led an irregular and dissipated life in
London and Paris. My uncle's death
proved the weakness of the foundation
on which my expectations had been
based. He died very rich, but my name
was not even mentioned in his will
Shortly afterward my father died, COM
paratively impoverished. A paltry two
thousand was all that came to me on his
demise. As a matter of course it did not
last me very long. When my last SOW
ereign was spent bethought me Of GER
tain coupons which my mother had placed
in my hands for security. They consti.
tuted the provision left her by my father
for her old age. | disposed of them at
their market value, and appropriated the
proceeds. "a confession is not worth
calling by that name when it hides any
thing | trust that whoever may read
these lines in time to come will give me
credit for my frankness.)
Later on, by means of fictitious
document, / obtained possession of my
sisters little dowry. 1t went the way Of
all that had gone before, and one morn
ing | awoke up to the consciousness that
asolitary sovereign was the last coin had
in the world. l could neither work nor
beg, and there was nothing more |
could conveniently convey. A life of
poverty and privation was not to be
thought of. | made up my mind that
there was nothing to do but to go
through the ceremony Of the Happy
Dispatch. 1t did not take me long 10 ar
rive at this conclusion. l wrote letter
to my mother and sister, to be forwarded
to them after all was over, in which
told them everything and asked them to
try and forgive me. Then I burnt sun
dry papers which would not bear
reading by other eyes, and after that I
sailed forth into the streets for the last
time. Stunning my club and the sight
Of any one knew, took my dinner all
alone at a French cafe, at the back of
Regent Street The change out of my
last sovereign l gave to a poor girl at
the corner then / lighted my cigar
and walked slowly back to my rooms.
81 must now 60 back to an illness
which | had some five years before this
time. 1t was a fever Of some kind, and
it nearly cost me my life. | had taken
turn for the better, and was slowly recov-
ering, when one night, as lay asleep, l
went through very strange experience.
became conscious that, without being
dead, or, indeed, without any exercise of
will on my part my innerself-my ego
my spiritual essence, or whatever you
may choose TO term it, had quilted its
earthly tenement for while, and was
wandering aimlessly through space, like
ghost new fledged in search of home.
In the state in which was knew neither
fear nor citation, and wonder was an I'M
known quality. l was as one in dream,
and was as little trammelled by the ordi-
nary physical laws of the universe as
dreamers usually are. But | had vivid
consciousness of life-of a spiritual ether
called kind of life-which far exceeded
anything | had ever experienced in
dreams. At one moment | saw my body
lying like dead husk that had cast be-
hind me; the next, by the merest exercise
OF my will, | was in the hut of an Aus
trallan friend, He was smoking and
reading over once more the Well.thumbed
letter had sent him half year before.
Another instant, and was back with nv
mother and sisterin the old home at Wave
ney Mallow. My mother was about to
put out the lamp for the night, my sister
was touching few minor chords on the
piano. Thank heaven that my boy is
better ? heard my mother say, Tonight
can go to bed with thankful heart.
But both friendship and affection seemed
dead within me, and passed on utterly
unmoved At the end OF about an hour
and half | came back TO ordinary life as
from a deeper sleep than common to find
that l had frightened both doctor and
nurse, who had given me up as dead
man