The Arizona champion., 1884-06-07

back seat since one of the Davenport Brothers came down here. The greatest nuisance in the prophet business is Balaam. You must know that we can do anything we choose down here, and, if we like, live the same life We did on earth, but everything We do wrong means another one hundred or two hun dred years before you get out, and then, if we get mighty bad, we go to hell right away. We'll, Balaam took to prophesying that the whole place would be cleaned out by certain day, and when the day came and we were all h4e, 1 can tell you Balaam had to scoot Hght away to the other end of purga- tory, and hasn't been able to show his face since. guess he wanted his ass to help him bit." And here G. w. gave one of the old-time laughs that have been made familiar to us through the story books.
 "Have you many Cincinnati folks among your
 "Many Cincinnati folks? Why, l should smile. For it's size we have no better supporters, and am sorry to say that good mary are only transients, and pretty soon go to hell right off. We have one very amusing card, one J.. Quincy Adams Danforth. He is the life and soul of the place, and puts the whole of purgatory in roar with some patent dodge of heating the place from the Burning Lake in the next story. A Cincinnati man came down here the other day-one you call Coal-Oil Johnny and he hadn't been here ten minutes before he had Moses, David, one of the Gregorys and the late Emperor Napo- leon for all their ready 'chinnies, as we call our money here. 1 guess if he doesn't look out and pull, himself to- gether that he'll be only transient"
 "Do you think, sir, that you could manage to get me an interview with Moses? There are one or two points l would like cleared up."
 "Well, I'll try. I like the tone of your voice, and I am sure you are a good man. saw him knocking around few minutes ago with Potiphar's wife and the Queen of Sheba (by the way, her right name was Annie C.. Smith). There's an item for you"
 "You say Joseph is there? l would like to see him for few moments. He might be able to give few points about engineering wheat corner that would be of use to Chicago readers"
 "Well, Ill see Moses first, and then I'll see what can be done with Joseph and David. Martin Luther and about two dozen Popes are here too, but l guess you don't want to speak to themp"
 "No. Does Moses speak English 2"
 "No, he speaks Irish, which, until came here, was not aware was the original language of the Children of Israel. Can you speak t?''
 I can, sir, so fetch him along"
 There was dead silence, broken every now and then by shouts and cries, and such expressions as "I'll raise you ten," "Pll take the pot" in a strong American accent, which showed me, alas that, as George w. said, good many of our countrymen were only transients. Presently voice came along
 "Hello, Enquirern'
 "Hello Who are you?"
 "I'm Moses, and Mir. George Wash inton tells me you're anxious to be spakn' to me-"
 "Tell me, are you the same Moses that led the children of Israel out of Egypt?'
 "Thrue for you, me bhoy, and, bedad, it's meself that's the same mani"
 "Had you any other name but Moses?"
 "Moses K. Smith was me full name, but l never got anything else than Moses, and me brother Aaron, him wid the long beard, used to call me Mo for short"
 "Have you any objection to tell me what your real reason for leading the children for forty years all over the wilderness?"
 "Well, now be aisy and I'll tell ye, and sure I'll tell ye no lie. The fact of the matter was, that these same chil- dren were the biggest lot of gommis you ever clapped eyes on. They'd believe most anything I'd tell them. We'll, me brother Aaron and meself had got one of the best army contracts for feeding the people that was ever written, and it was clean against nature to suppose that We were going to give tup. We would have gone on for another forty years, if Joshua hadn't kicked because we wouldn't divy up with him."
 "Then how about your death? How is it thut no man could ever find your grave?"
 "And sure is it likely that they could find me grave when I wasn't buried on top of the mountain at all p
 "Oh, you weren't buried on top of the mountain?"
 "No, siree. You see, it was this way When l saw Joshua going to best me I got all the gold that was melted down from the golden calf, and told the chil- dren that was going up to the top of the mountain to hand in my checks, and asked them to pass in all their ready | money to make a good, square sacrifice. They did this, and 1 went up to the top | of the mountain, but I cane do,cn O, | the other side, and made tracks for | another State. have changed my name and run for Governor three times. | That's how worked that racket"
 
 trouble you any more, Moses, if you would kindly pass the word for Joseph. would like to speak to him for mo-