Delaware weekly Republican., 1884-07-31
guaranteed the KE

:
{ oiSie asked :r1ooinfilI "a am .wb,
! white sheer ate so ve,v much y, a.,
than black sheep. One person ad
vanced the opinion that, black being 4
warmer color than white, and one whiob
forcibly fails to attract the sun. black
sheep could do with less nutriment than
thelr white contemporaries. At these
, profound speculatlons DIR. Wheatly
shook his'head grayely, and then pro.
ceeded TO explain White sheen eat
more because there are more Of them q
This Is miserable weather." man
growled, leaning against lamp post,
think it's beautiful" replied an
acquaintance. The sun has aho,,e 4
every day for a week and the air IA drv
and pleasant" "That's all yery we'll y
said the growler isbut You know T
am a coal dealer" why, no longer
ago than couple of months heard
you growing because it was 30 cold. :"
Yes, hut you know / was In the ice
business them"
AT a chemists door appeared the sign !:
Spirits Of all kinds sold here" A
Joker passing by thought it funny to 20
in and ask the chem list for IS ali Won
have on band OF the malignant spirit"
Ihe chemist without an instant's hesi-
tation, turned to an assistant and gave
the order, in an imperative tone. q AL
ired, run up to the second fioor and
Dring down my mother-in-law. Here
Is somebody to buy her.
!" Yesi' size said to her escort. AZ they
glided around the link, 81 do love
roller skating. When we are sailing
around this way my soul seems to be
foating away toward heaven, and
by some mistake In the programme, at
lhis point both OF her soles tioated away
Toward heaven, while the rest OF her
smote.
! thought" said the senior BoRejes
~ ne produced a auspicious-l ooking
nat bottle from his sons valise, that
mere was nothing but your surgical
instruments in this bag. fTLat,s
what said, dad" "Then. air What
do you call this?" THAT? Oh thaI's
my eye-opener, dad very useful in.
strument, very useful Indispensable. L
assure yon."
A Doctor IA Ireland was disturhaa
one night by a rapping at the door, anal
opening it, found laboring man who
had come for him. Have YOU been
long here ?" said the doctor. (" Indade
have, answered Pat. But whv
didn'ty ring the night.bell 2" "Oci,
because l was afraid of disturbin' your
honor"
" l should be glad to hear You sing
some day, remarked gentleman to a
young lady, who was studying music.
should be- delighted. 1 have the
ssong with me now, and 1 will sing it
for you" Wha. song ?'' Whv
" Some Day" "Ah, yes meant
some other other day, when Ishall have
more leisure"
An old fellow In Maine who had
lately buried his fourth wife was NO.
costed by an acquaintance who, una.
ware OF his bereavement, asked How
is your wife, cap'n ?'' To whIch the
captain replied, with perfectly grave
face WAL, 10 tell you the trewth.
I'm kinder out of wives Just naow.'
A pompous and opinionated man.
when discussing n certain matter with
a lady, exclaimed know ain right.
madam. l am perfectly sure that am.
! will bet my ears on it, madam I" $40
you think it right TO carry betting to
such extreme lengths 2" quietly re-
sponded the lady.
Woman is 40 built that she but
seldom can throw straight. Proyi
,ience,it is truly said, orders everything
for the best, and after n husband has
seen one tin cup sail harmlessly by his
head be can run before she can snatch
up another.
Tim," said one Hiberian 10 anoth.
sr, Ms they marched 10 the time O,
. Paddles Ever More, on last ST. Pat
'ick's Day, 'tis no wnndher that Ire--
and is not free this day" WHY"
aid Tim- Sure we're all here
Zone half the world don't know
low the other halflive I" exclaimed
woman. "Oh, we'll, /" said
Ter neighbor, don't worry about IL +;
tisn't your fault If they den't know"
A river discovered by Stanley in
central Africa is called Kissmelonsa.
That stream should be dradsed.
4 river with name like that must
'ertainiy have woman at the bottom
A Frenchman wrote home 70 HE
athsr Dear papa. want
little change" The fraternal parent
eplied Dear Charlie, just
sait for il. Time brings change to
'verybody."
The cultured maiden from Boston
sroteeo her friend that she had just
'uen " near MT. Joseph Emmet sing
Piqae about"
The small boy who hangs round the
'arlor aud makes faces at his SISTERS
eau should be punished for comtempt
Il court illI''1
Why are pawnbrokers like pioneers OF
Progress Because they are always
eahy TO make an advance. Gotta
:" Husband, lfan honest man iaGod's
loblest work, what Is an honeas NO.
nan?" His rarest, dear. F" i9Yiii