The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-06-22
And an Occasional Fling at
a Man.

Of for the summer-Flannels.
What is home without q servants
girl7-Ex. Heaven!
Man proposes and the other man
her papa-disposes of him in short
order.
The hand that rocks the cradle is
the hand that can't stone hen with
any success.
Ladies' hats may be much cheaper
this spring than last season, but we
notice that they come higher than
ever.
No girl in Norway is allowed to
have beau until she can bake
bread. Over there when fellow gets
married he don't often find that his
cake is dough.
When a young girl finds four.leaf
clover It is a sign that she will be
married within a year. 1t is strange
that some families don't hire farm
and SOW it all ii Glover.
{ In China young women are married
at auction. In this country they are
disposed of at private sale.-Texas
Siftings. illustration OF the
advantages OF this country.
A Chicago youth, On visiting in the
country and hearing the casual refer.
enoe to ''husking bses," chased a bee
three miles in order to ascertain, il
possible, what kind Of husk it had
on.
siashed necks are all the fashion
among the ladies now, which fact
establishes q plea to be advanced by
men with propensities for cutting
their wives throats.
A composition in this Office set up
"The Feast OF the Psntecost 80" that
il read, "The Feet of the Petticoat,"
funeral tomorrow afternoon. -
Whitehall Times.
Augusta Evans Wilson is described
by female friend, who admires her
and her novels, as authenticated,
blue-eyed, tastefully-dressed, medium
sized, and, alas! middle aged"
An erraged Mormon is said to have
threatened to marry all the female
newspaper correspondents in Sail!
Lake City is they do not stop writ
ing. He mnst be awful mad IL Lowell
Citizen.
Somebody has Invented security
hair pin which is warranted not to fall
out. Now. if somebody" will IL
vent kind of hair that won't fall off,
the ladies will be very much obliged
to him.
If some Yankee would invent an
sold bachelors needle" be would
make a fortune. The needle not
differ greatly from other needles, ex-
at the eye, which should BE about an
inch in diameter.
4 Nevady lady took an unfair ad-
vantage of her husbands indulgence
in bath, to elope with another man
and the bereft one expressed con
viction that she had been waiting 70
an opportunity for years.
A machine that will darn stockings
has been invented. This will give
mothers more time to devote to crazy
quilts. response work and other USE.
ful household duties; but the rural
grandmother VINO sits behind the
stove and dozes and dams, aud darns
and dozes-especially dozas-will not
welcome the innovation.
My son, when you are fearlessly
parading with your girl these cool
evening, aud see man standing in
his shop.door draped in linen duster
and assiduously working palm-feal
fan. look out for 81 icescresm sign
Just back OF him, and a. once cross
to the other side of the stree.-you
will Gnd the walking much pleasanter
and devoid of immediate danger.
a reporter on a paper wrote the
| following account OF his hated rivals
marriage: "rhe bride was radiant in
a beautiful lavender silk dress, with
orange wreath and button No. 9 kid
I gloves, slightly bursted in toe thumbs.
The groom was as straight as black
cloth suit constructed by the bes'
tailor could make him. and as led il
the face as was consistent with pair
of boots two sizes too small and No
Is collar enciroling his manly l6!
| inch neck. Fortunately before the
ceremony WAS over, the restraining
button few out and saved him from
strangulstion.
THE LIGHT OF HIS LIFE.
Into my life three years ago
She came and took piacs
| None else could fill. dsr step wss slow
And full OF gentlest grace.
The tender grassblsdes scarcely brok,
Beneath her tsnder feet;