Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-09-05

medical college is, that in death they be
not divided
a contemporary thinks that Ben But
lers candidacy is little side-show in a
tent of his own. If this is so, Benjamin
had better retire from the canvass"
The Democrats are beginning to be
afraid that Governor Cleveland has met Il
hungry Republican bear somewhere in the
woods.
The woman who advised her husband
never to meet trouble half way can't get
over wondering why he always starts of
in the other direction when she is around
There is girl in Albany who has two
distinct palates, and when her young man
asks her, (Which do you prefer, vanilla
or chocolate :" she smiles sweetly and re
plies, Both"
An inveterate liar justifcs himself by
quoting Talleyrand's famous saying, that,
Words were given us to help conceal our
thoughts"
Red Noses in Flutter." is the way
contemporary heads an article How
funny red nose must look going through
such performance as that
Poor Popiniay do you suppose there
is any hope of his recovery ?"
"What is popiniay sick :"
"WhY, no-of course not. He's lost hi~
umbrella
\ Montreal lady wearing the new di-
vidcd skirt tripped and fell, the other
day. Th, looks rather omnous does'nt
/ it?
"Wherc has the Money Gone: :" asks
writer in Chicago weekly. Address,
Bank Cashier, Montreal, d. O."
\ Pennsylvania women has been sent to
prison for horse stealing. This comes
from opening the professions to women
They may say that policemen are sleepy,
incompetent fellows, but nevertheless
they are the men who make the whole
world ''move on
"A good book is the best companion Il
man can have" says a writer. He is cor
rect. The best companion Il man can
have in warm weather is a blank book
There is cat in IIawley Pa, which has
made great reputation as a snake-killer
She might get Il good job by applying at
the nearest corner groggery.
Ben Butter says that his campaign is 60
ing to be full of surprises. Undoubtedly
it will--to Ben.
Girls of marriageable age are sold
for sixteen dollars in Yokohama. This
. does not include mothers-in-law.
Il take up my pen to inform You that
, | shall be absent on brief vacation re
, marked the pig, as he arched his back and
carried the sly with him.
, \ writer thanks heaven that there is no
caste among the women of America.
, Guess he never tried to dodge a flat-iron,
| He can't he married
! Among the other things that are com
ing to light in these days of modern re-
search, scientists should NOT forget to
: mention the mosquito.
They object to taking Boston school
i, mains for walters in the White Noun
+ tains. because the dear girls are SO apt to
| sueeIe their glasses into the gravy.
t There must he only one emergency in
i which the mind of Joseph Cook lapses into
- the condition of the ordinary intellect of
. the race-and that is Just us he is on the
il point of sneezing.
{ 1t is said that one-fourth of the visitors
at Saratoga are sick from drinking too
much water. The other three-fourths are
sick from drinking too much gin.
What is funnier than to see ones hat
ShllllllllnG NbN II lIt street Ill Il Edlt VI
wind >" asks writer We will tel YOU
to see some other person hat doing the
same thing
Ben Butler recently attended a picnic in
l. PENNSYLVANIA, and made himself sick eat
II ing pie. In spite of all the talk about
Ben'S demOgoGuery, we do believe he X
d one of the people after all.
q The bird on IL bonnet is worth two quail>
f on toast.-N. Y. JOurnd.
1t was ii commercial traveller who sang.
MY face is my fortune. '-BoSton Trans
e cript.
z A famliarcry at political headquarters at
S present is, bellows to mend ~. Y Conn
p mcrcidl idrcrtiscr.
Cough. they say,is to take an active part
in the St John campaign--a case of
II whooping Cough, as it were.-NeW York
Man.
Emma Abbott has been in Europe, try
ing on new dresses and otherwise repair
ing her voice for the coming season.
Hartford Post.
e Cleveland shrank from the task of eX
+ planning the Democratic tariff plank.
:. Like the man who had the Lords Prayer
: printed ON piece of cardboard, he points
to the plank and says, "them's my senti-
e ments. '-BdU CHU Tribunc.
il When Vanderbilt wants to raise little
cash to pay his ice bill he sells Il horse for
$4,000. We never do that NOrriStOirn
< HCdrId.
We've expected it. Julian Hawthorne
n has gone to the dogs. In recent essay on
~ Emerson as an American" he speaks of
y that sublimated quintessence of humanity
l. as being like light-the presence of the
r, general at the particular" And yet we
is continue To send missionaries to heather
, lands ,-LOlCCU citizen.
Fact is" said Brown, there's nothing
doing. Why, man, I've been unable to
IS make both ends meet this summer"
is so ?" replied Fogg you should try
a green apples or cucumbers. "-BoStOn
Transcript.
Milo the wrestler, n Grecian of gigantic
II strength, being DESTROYS of giving a con
IS vncing proof of his powers. undertook TO
: rive in twain the stump of Il gnarled oak
h but his hands being taken in the rift, he
II persisted miserably of hunger and thirst
This anecdote teaches us the extreme
of. hIa IL t.