The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1884-10-31
HUNTING FOR h..


he told it to me. / have made no al
terations, being unwilling to take any
responsibilities upon myself in q matter
of such Importance. Said he:
"There are more fools in the world
than you would think for. When our
| geographical society met last we found
that we had got hold of one This was
the new member. So Lust set it down
as a maxim, then, that if fools can work
their way into even @ geographical soci-
ETY., there isn't any place that's safe
| against them. However, that's neither
here nor there; l simply mention it in
passing; it hasn't anything to do with
what / started out to tell you about.
"Well, as was saying before. / was
loaded up solid with my sublime project.
l was q fostering volcano of excitement.
1t was as much as I could do to hold in
till my turn should come. And when
it did come, at last, I was in such a
state that / could only pant it out in
broken phrase, with gaspings for breath
between. 1t made an immense stir.
1t was received with prodigious favor.
The end of every sentence was drowned
in applause. Iclosed by stating:
$50, gentlemen, my project, In a
word, is to send out a discovery expedi-
ton to search for a new and direct road
to Hail. / pronounced it hall, out of
Difference to the society, all the mem
bers being religious; but you can pro-
nounce it your W way.
81 sat down amid a storm of applause
which lasted several minutes, during
which my hand was wrung by throng
after throng of geographers, who said
my idea was the grandest one of the
age, and would make my name immor-
tai.
"Quiet was hardly restored when the
new member spoke up and said:
"But who wants tie go to Hall? He
pronounced it the old way.
cit was q most strange question.
Members glanced at each other in a sur
prised and somewhat affronted way, and
said nothing. Then the new member
spoke up again:
Nobody wants to go to Hall nobody
wants to travel any road to Hall; so
where in the nation is the use In hunt
ing up a new one?"
after an awkward pause, the presi-
dent said, with a cold and cruel bland
ness of tone and mnnner:
/" 1T is evident that our new acquisi-
ton is not familiar with the ways of geo.
graphical societies. If he will reflect a
moment, it may occur to him that his
question need be changed N words only,
not in sense, to read, Where is the use
In searching for the Northwest pas
sage 2"
at was an awful shot. L pitied the
poor ass with all my heart; and / could
see that others die too, though naturally
we couldn't help enjoying the annihilat.
ing completeness of the presidents re-
tort. But what do you think? 1t new
er pheazed the new member at all.
He didn't know he was hit--he actually
didn't. No, he looked up as sweet and
innocent as the child unborn, and says
In my day / have wanted to ask
that very question as much as upward
to 500, 600 times"
eff he didn't say it, / wish / may new
er stir. And he didn't stop there, eth
er, but goes right on as calm as any
thing and says:
"'What do you want of a Northwest
passage, anyway, after you've got il?
Do you calculate that anybody's going
to use itg
"sUse it? says the president, who saw
that sarcasm was wanted on this numb
skull, and didn't propose to throw away
any more of it on him. No, we don't
expect any body to use it. There would
be no occasion to use it anyway, be-
cause the old routes are far better and
quicker and easier. And besides no
body could nse it. for the reason that
from the nature of the climate and the
shortness of the season it is simply nom
usable.'
as calm as hat door-nob there, what
do yor want it forg'
"sWant il for?' snaps the president,
rather holly. we don't want it, we
only want to find it.
"sWell, that is odd a the new
member. 'Idon't seem to get your idea,
somehow. What do You want to find it
for. if you don't want il after you've
found it? As I understand it, England
and America and other countries have
been hunting for it for fifty years, and
they've spent about $35, 100000 anil got
no end of ships mashed up it the ice,
and no end of men frozen to death, and
scHrvied to death. and starved to death,
and so on, and buried around here and
there on a lot of skinned rocks in the
Arctic ocean-and that's all that's been
accomplished; and it appears to me it's
= L.. ~,.ao - 81 = l,n- q -