National Republican., 1884-06-18

AIMEE says sho has perfectly mastered the
Anglace laukwitch, Whatever that Philadelphia
Cali.
A GRADED school teacher OF Susquehanna,
according TO the Journal, received the following
excuse recently: "Tomie stade home cuz he had
no close and that's exouz enuif god noze."
A NEW York paper used "G" instead Of
&C." and printed 1t the "New York Cab COM
pany." II is said that the members of sorosis
feel very much hurt about It, and will boycott the
paper.
THE King Of Bavaria never permits any
one to be present when he attends the theater.
In this way he avoids having his view of the stage
shut of by woman with big hat sitting In front
OF him.
"ALL brain work." declares ap eminent
authority, should be done without effort and In
jaunty mood" He probably never had TO write
an inside editorial ut IL p. IN.
A CABLEGRAM reports that "Canon War
rem has been sued for breach of promise by
young lady, and the letters abound in oscula-
tion." She has evidently been seeking the bub-
BILE reputation at the canons mouth.
SOME time ago Mr. Ellis Lever Of Mans
chester England, offered prize Of $500 for the
best safety lamp for use In mines. over ninety
lamps have been sent in many coming from the
United states and Others from the continent.
A CENTRAL PARK policeman says more
matches arc made in the park to the square inch
than in any other part of New York. In the sum
mer time 1t is a vertable lovers paradise, and
frequently as many as $4,000 people, most of them
young folks, visit the park on q single summer
evening.
A NOVELTY in the baking trade is a loaf Of
bread that does not require cutting after 1t Is
baked. 1t is shaped like Vienna bread, and 80
made as to form.layers slices OF uniform thick
ness, which, by pulling gently, are detached. thus
avoiding the use of the knife.
"Is tunkintel better than cake or candy,
mar" asked little boy. ~ do not know Of any
thing called tunkintel, my dear. Where did you
hear about it2' "Well, heard our Lizzie telling
her beau last night that she loved him more than
tunkintel, so guessed that 1t must be something
better than cake or candy"
"AMY," said the high school graduate to
her friend yesterday, II gave Sue the figid yibra-
tlon this morning" "You gave her what?" asked
Amy. "The frigld yibraton," replied Mildred.
what in the world is thatG' asked Amy in aston
ishment. "What you call the cold shake. you
know" explained the high school girl.
AFTER enduring for years thevisits Of book
canvassers and the rest of the ohiceinfesIing
tribe, u Glasgow firm tried what banter would do,
and issued notice as follows "The hours OF at
tendance In this Office are: To canvassers for
church subscriptions, 10 till Q; book and insure
|
gars. and advertising men, all day. We attend to
our own business at night"
DIR. NORMAN KERR says in the Medical
Press that "there is little relish in England for
genuine fermented wine, our taste has BECOME so
| corrupted by the sprituous fortihcation called
| for by the English market few days ago a
| well known Englishman, on tasting glass of
pure, unsophistlcated sherry brought over from
| Spain by wine grower, exclaimed, to the
| iS
water
IT is significant Of tho progress Of female
employment in England that the Prudential COM
pany, of the greatest insurance offices in the
world, is now entirely served by female clerks.
and that 4,363 are employed in government ofices
but the excess of women is still great that Lord
Shanesbury has just declared that the greatest
benefit which could be conferred on England
would be the emigration OF from 100000 to 100000
women.
A LADY writer has made the discovery that
when woman learns TO be perfectly at her
| in intercourse with business men, and can walk
into their Offices without trepidation, she may
often obtain more useful information and enjoy
more sparkle and fun, If you will, in half an hours
conversation with several substantial men of busi-
ness in their own commercial houses and offices
than she will find in half dozen fashionable en-
| tertainments.
az DON'T want to interfere in your family
matters, my dear friend, but would advise you
10 watch carefully your Oldest daughter and your
coaohman." what have you seenp he asked,
anxiousy, ITO arouse your suspicions?" Moth
ing tangible" was the reply; "but you had better
keep sharp eye out" Great st. Denisl" MUIR
INJURED the old gentleman. "is 1t possible that
Maria has found lover at last? 1t seems TO good
to be true."-P Philadelphia CaA
REMENYI is soon to start for Australia with
| ino HIATT tia
one Of Troys fayorite singers. 1t is to be hoped
that better fate is in store for him than attended
the opera company which left London for tour
In India, Australia, and Java about year ago.
1t became stranded in the latter place. and tho
prima donna, Nine Duohe is now n chamber
maid in one of the hotels there, while the tenor,
N. Treblana, has entered the service OF cattle-
raiser. The rest of the troupe are engaged in
similar occupations.
AN.absolutely exact straight edge of more
than SO inches is q wonder of mechanism. One Of
G feet was not recently believed possible although
several had been made on different plans of web-
like ana truss construction. 1t has been claimed,
however, says Engineering, that almost absolute
exactness has been secured by u straight edge ~
feet long, The appliance looks like an arched
truss the highest spring of the arch being only 20
inches In length of 10 feet The space between
the chord and the spring is filled with diagonal
lattice work Such tool is invaluable i'll testing
lathe and planer beds.
IT is hard for man'4 people to realize that
our civil war was not an event OF yesterday, but
of a generation ago. The following from tho
; Springfield Republican illustrates a common fall
ing: An occupant of one of the city pupts Sunday
was throwing himself into the task of entertain
} ing the children grouped before him. He men,
toned the late unple easantness and spoke tenderly
of the victims OF the war Looking compassion-
ately into the eyes of the infant class he said;
perhaps the father of some ofthese little children
, before me died In that terrible struggle" And
deep hush peryaded the room.
"I DON'T understand y he said, after scratch-
: ing his ear for minute or two "why the per
cent. bonds of the Mexican Central have tumbed
below a0." EASY enough" replied the fat man
at Is the American management Of affairs"
y But could the Mexicans do any better" swell,
l should sayl They would have made that road
whoop up June dividend of II per cent" "Possi-
beh "Of course. The directors would have
0 iarmed out the line to some guerilla chief and
0 taken 60 per cent of what he robbed passengers
. of Tell you what, we have heap to learn ye'
regarding the railroad business"
. Two LITTLE creatures were sitting In tho
delightful gloamngs that female noVelists tell US
{ about. They were sitting there, aud tho gloam-
: ing gloamed away aud tho creatures sat and sat.
t The two creatures were a dude and dudelet and
8 they were too-too. "Adolpheus" uttered she with
I a sigh like unto sleepy cat, 20, Adolpheusl /"
"What is IT, my beloved Aloia2 What wouldst