The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-11-14
WELL ADVERTISED.
A Doctor Who Entered into an Arrange
ment with Circus Clown.

A Doctor who Entered into an Arrange
ment with Circus Clown.
DR.. Postern has tried many sd-
vertising tricks. He believes that adj
vertising rather than ability, raises
man in his profession. He used to
drive around town at a breakneck
speed, as though hurrying to drag
someone from the yawning jaws OF
death; and, often while in church, the
arrival and whispered summons OF his
office boy would compel him to forego
the pleasures of a discourse SO deeply
interesting and to rush away through
chilling wind and mephitic mud to the
bedside of a sufferer. These PERCEPTIONS
drives extended to the suburbs of town.
Then the doctor would proceed
leisurely, and, in fact, waywardly, for
he seemed to choose no particular
direction.
Several days ago, while circus was
in town, an advertising dodge worthy
of Ham Griffin, ocr urred to the doctor.
Finding the blonde man whose business
it is to make the crowd roar with his
medieval sayings and prehistoric
capers-such as running against the
center pole or getting his feet tangled
in the banner over which the painted
young lady in feathery flounces is to
leap-the doctor drew him aside and
said:
"You are the clown. believe"
''Yes, sir.
81 am Doctor Postern."
doctor, am pleased to meet you,
but you must excuse me now, as must
go and dress for the coming perform
ance."
..Just wat a moment. / have a
proposition 20 make to you. You are
not averse to receiving money for
services?"
That's the way / make my living"
''Of cour.;e," the Doctor replied, with
smile that showed encouragement.
'.You wouldn't mind making twenty
five dollars tonight by merely speak
ing few words, would you?"
mo, wouldn't mind making twen-
ty-five dollars without speaking any
words at al"
II see you have an eye to business.
Now, I'll tell you what l want you to
do. During the performance, ask if
DIR. POstero is in the audience. [ will
arise and say that l am. Then you will
say: There's a friend of mine back
here who is very sick. He requested
me to call Cor you Then I'll quietly
withdraw. That's all you'll have to
say, and think it will be an easy way
of earning twenty-five dollars"
..Tll do il. Give me the money"
''Wait urtil after the performance.
''Oh, could never find you in the
crowd, and besides it wouldn't do for
anyone to see you give me the money.
You can rely on my word, sir"
Perhaps you are right. Here you
are" counting out the money. Don't
forget now"
MY business is never to forget any
thing
A great crowd assembled, and as the
doctor sat high up on reserved seat,
his heart beat in anticipated pride. The
performance began, the clown came out
and made the crowd roar when he
struck the springboard, bounded high
in the air and fell on his back. The
elephants were led away and the clown
sang when l First Met Maggie May"
The doctor began to tremble. '.Is it
possible" he unused, "that the fellow
has forgotten his promise?" The next
moment his blood leaped. The clown,
advancing to the center of the ring,
shouted:
as DIR. Postern in the audience?''
The doctor arose and replied yes"
care you DIR. POstern?"
s'Yes, sir. 4"
II have heard that you are the best
physician in Arkansaw and"
THANK you bowling gravely.
'.And.n continued the clown, 81
would like to engage your professional
services"
II am at your service, sir. / cheer
fully devote my professional skill in re-
iieving suffering wherever found. One
of the show people ill?'
Eyes. You see, the hippopotamus
fell into tub of water and has taken
the Group. That lemonade boy, doctor,
will return your twenty-five dollars"
A great shout arose. Blinded by in
dignation and shame, the doctor. in
trying to descend, stumbled and fell.
Another awful roar. Finally, he knew
not how, he reached the open air. He
sought his room, where, until daylight.
he walked the floor. At last he sum-
moned all his remaining courage and
went into the street.
Hi, DR.. Hippopotamus!" yelled
some one. He went back into his room,
and when night came, he quietly stole
away, leaving forever the scene of his
downfall. --Arkdnsdw Trdreler.