Connecticut western news., 1884-11-12
WIT AND WISDOM

Nttd Ah ANA Aht htoNN-lAlNs
 IF you are determined to live and die o slave 10 custom see that i, is at least . good one.
 HoyEsrr is not as much respected aS beauty. Tho toad is honest, but hc has not many admirers.
 PRIDE is vice, which pride itself in- clines every man 10 find in others andto overlook in himself
 To DEVELOP in each individual all the perfection of which he is susceptible, is the object of education.
 BE courageous and noble-m minded: our own heart, and not other mems opinions of us, forms our true honor.
 A MAN in New York wishea 10 know whether he may marry on $500 a year. Certainly he may-if the girl has money.
 AN exchange inquiries how not to grow old. The best way is Co become An actress. They grow younger every year.
 "WHF is e young man like kernel of corn ?" asked young lady. "Because," said another, "he turns white when he pops"
 IF the son could pick up the stitcheaof experience which the father drops, he would not be obliged to unravel his work SO often.
 "AH, Bings, whore are you going for the winter7" "Oh, I shall take a run over to Italy and do Mt Yesuviua. 'I see-going to foreign climb. "
 Ta1s is the law of benefits betveon men: The one ought to forget at once what he has given. and the other ought never 10 forget what ho has received.
 "wHAr do you think of Fielding 2" asked Boston girl of a Harvard gradu. ate. "oh, it's important, of ooursei but it don't amour, to anything without good batting"
 PoLrrEERss Is the religion of the heart as piety Is that of the soul IL ia good nature in action. IL renders whoever may be it's object contented and happy under it's softening influence.
 A SPRNoFIELp, Mass, heiress has eloped with a newspaper man. There that is sensible. If heiresses are deter. mined to elope let them choose men of wealth, not pennileSs coachmen.
 AN editor who fell into kettle of hot water apologized for the delay of his weekly edition by saying that he had such terrible boil on his right leg that he couldn't kick the foreman around as usual.
 A BrTrLK boys grief upon being rO- fused permission to attend a circus, was in part assuaged by the assurance from his mother that if he would dry his tears he might go and sec his father have Q tooth extracted.
 'YoU fairly worship the ground that girl walks on, Billy" said Jack, "and l can't see why. She's as cold as a block of ice" know she is, returned Billy; "but it's such jolly fun 10 go mp throe times a week and thaw her"
 "OH, I do SO dote on the sea, she gurgled; 'if you only had a yacht Augustus dear" .'1 have no yacht, wilhelmina," he sighed, "but can give you little smack" And then it sounded as if cork had flown out of a bottle.
 A TEsrr old fellow went into his cellar with a handsome mug to draw some beer. He stumbled and fell over boI. | His wife called out. "My dear, have you broken the mugp' Smarting with pain, he replied: "No; but will" And he immediately dashed it against tho | wall.
 "wHo was the first man, Johnny ?" said the minister to young Johnny Grim. sonbeak, the other evening, whom Mrs. Crimsonbeak had insisted on the dominic staying to supper. "Well, if yer mean at the table, parson, said the boy, to. tho horror of the family, "mother says you always are ]"
 "MY DEAR" said a husband to his good, simple wife, "why can't go out without catching cold in my head ?" The good, simple wife, after reheCting a mo- ment, replied: "I don't know why you always take cold in your head, John, un- less it is because you always go out without anything in it"
 Tms is the reason why cats wash their faces after meals: A cat caught spar row and was about to devour it, but the sparrow said: "No gentleman eats me until be has first washed his lace. " The cat, struck with this remark, set the sparrow down and began to wash his face with his paw, but the sparrow flew away. This veIed puSs exceedingly and he said. "As long as live l will cat first and wash my lace afterwerd" Which | au rata do to the prcRent day.