Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-07-19
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
WORDS OF WISDOM FROM PARADISE
HALL.


Rrom the Detroit Free Press,
By actual count there were forty. three
members OF the club coughing and
sneezing at the moment the triangle
sounded, and it was not until four min
uies after the echoes died away that the
President arose from behind his desk
and said:
If Socrates Spikeroot am in de hall
dis evenin' would like to see him out
heah in front of de desk"
Socrates had just crowded himself in
between the stove and the wood-box,
calculating to get warmth enough to
last him until the next meeting, and he
didn'. look over-pleased at being dis
turbed. When he had imped along to
the desk, one hand in his pocket and
the other digging into his wool, Brother
Gardner continued:
"How long have you bin member of
dis club?"
"'Bout six months, sah."
"Um It has been bout three months
since fust had my eyes on you, an to-
night you seber your conne1un wild dis
club. Misser Spikeroot, it was under
stood when you jined dis club dat you
was barber. Has you barbed ybody
or anythin' since dat date?"
m-I-no, sab"
"On de contrary, you has loafed aroun
saloons an policy shops an queer
places, an no man has known you to do
ar honest days work. We doan' banker
arter sicb members as you. When q
poo man kin lib widout labor people
have right to be suspishus of him.
Brudder Giveadam Jones, you will escort
dis pusson to de doah. If, when he gifts
dar', he should utter any remark deroga.
tory to de character of de Lime Kiln
Club, you needn't put de Bogardus
kicker at work. Let him go in peace.
What he kin say won't hurt us, an
you might kick too hard an break leg. 4"
After tho late deceased had been show
out and order restored, the President
said:
''Geml len, If dar am any mo- agita-
tors In de hall 1 want 'em to listen close
ly. Socrates Spikeroot used to be a
hard.workin' man. ALL to- once he got
de ideah dat capital was oppressin' la
Dor. He quit airnin' $12 per week be-
kase he didn't want to be oppressed. In
a month he became dead-beat. While
it am serious offence fur capitalists to
Cypress labor, it am all right for kicker
to go aroun' borrowin' money, runnin' in
debt, an stealin' his wood 4 few
weeks ago Mister Spikeroot got lone
some, an began to agitate. He went te
var'us laborin' men an convinced en-
dat de man who Arms his $12 or $l4 pei
week orter turn out and mob de capital
lists who furnish him de chance.
'He am now an agitator. He has go
facks an fggers to prove dat de work
in man who owns his cottage and XII
airn good support fur wife an ohill'el
am de most oppressed bein' on de fac'
of dis airth. When saloon turns hin
out he threatens to boycott it. When
man refuses to lend him money he an
called a bloated monopolist. When hi
wife wants shoes OF his chill'en cry fu
, bread, he comforts 'em wild de statemen
dat America am buildin' up an aristoc
racy to lord it over de POO men an
grind 'em to powder. If Misser Spike
root has left any friends behind, an OF
portunity will now be giben 'em to pic
up DER hats an feet an trabble."
There was deep silence for q minute
and as no one travelled the Presider
signed for the Secretary to procee
with the regular order of business.