Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-02-21

| affect me as they did, L suppose because
they are growing less and less real, my
mind being taken up with other matters.
Iwonder if he would come to me if he
knew that way dying? A great tempta-
ton assails me sometimes to write him one
last plea-to pray him to let me look just
once again upon his face. But then it
would unsettle and distress him. I know
how firm he is when he has made up his
mind; he would not change it, yetit would,
perhaps, be hard for him to think tranquil
ly of me, far away, longing in vain for a
sight of him, for the sound of one kind
word. Yes, it would shake and trouble him,
I know, and it is selfish in me to wish to
cause him any uneasiness. Better let things
rest as they are the end must soon come
November 29th.-Yesterday took up a
paper, and my eyes inadvertently fell upon
his name. Itthrilled me with the strangest
feeling. read it in notice stating that the
Rev. Silas Warren had donated large sum
to the Orphan Asylum at -, which was
greatly in need of aid. What generous,
noble heart he has! He is never sohappy as
when he doing good. He can spend as
much as he likes now, in deeds of charity !;
since his uncle's property has come into his
hands. I believe / made a note in my dia-
ry of Mr.. Franklin's sudden death, early
in October.
How strangely things do come about!
If my wretched journey to San Francisco,
last July, had been postponed by but one
day, or Mr.. Franklin's visit to Sandville
occurred one day earlier than it did, what
difference it would have made in my life !
But Providence orders everything, from
motives which we dare not question. There
was time when l rebelled against what
I could not understand, but have learned
better now. Such mere atom as I, has no
right to cavil at the ordinances of an all
seeing, all-knowing, powerful Deity, who
holds the universe in His hand, to work it
at His will. AS time goes on, and Eternity
draws near, / feel my own littleness more
and more.
November 3lst.-I think I am weaker,
these last two days. I have terrible yearn-
ing for some support, some sympathy, in
the new and awful experience which be-
gins to steal over me. Oh, my
husband, could I clasp your strong hand
now, should not fear! 1t would bear me
up safely to the very brink of the deep,
deep stream which shall soon have to
cross. x y
December 4th.-A bright, quiet morn
ing ; 1 have had peaceful awakening after a
night Of absolute repose, the most restful l
have enjoyed for some tinle. feel very we'll
to-day, and have eaten with quite All ape
tite the nice breakfast which Miss Chris
tiana always prepares and brings in with
her own hands, these cold mornings when
they won't allow me to leave my room.
The snow lies thickly on the ground.for
we had the phenomenon of quite fall of
snow in the night-and the sun shines on it
with wonderful brilliancy. It suggests to
me the thoughts of Gods promise shining
with reviving warmth on q frozen heart.
Strange that I should feel this lightness
almost joyousness of spirit! 1t must mean
that my trials are nearly over. 1t means, l
am sure, that my forgiveness is complete.
I have never felt so confident of this before.
My sin has been great, knoW-else my
husband would not have judged me as he
has done. But have read throughout the
Gospel accounts of the sinners who came to
our Saviour for pardon, and nowhere do [
read that He turned them away. Like
them have cast myself at His feet, and
know that my prayers have been heard.
December 15th.-Again this deep, unut-
terable yearning for h'oadn love: 1t over
whelms me like surging seat shuts out
even the thought of Heaven. Must l, then,
die without one last smile, one last kiss of
earthly forgivenss-muSt my earthly pun
ishment continue to the very end? Oh, it
is hard, bitter hard! But deserve it all -
yes, yes, must deserve it, or surely | would
not suffer as | do. SllaS-lf ever
you see these words, remember
This was the last record which was traced
in the diary by Celestine's failing hand.
Miss Christiana, coming into her room, to
bring some little delicacy she had pre-
prepared for her, found her lying back in
her chair with closed eyes, her pencil in her
hand, and the book at her feet. She had
only swoOned from weakness, and came to
herself when restoratives were applied.
But she never recovered her strength suffi-
ciently to make any additions to the ram
bling, pathetic record Of her closing days.
"Christiana," said Mrs. Brainerd to her
daughter, one evening, Don't you think 1t
would be well to ask that poor young lady
whether there's anybody, any relative, or
acquaintance of any Sort whom she'd like
to have US send for, or write line to, for
her? She can't last much longer-she'll
never see the ending of this year, unless |
am much mistaken"
"Just as you think, mother" answered
the younger woman. ~ never venture to
speak to her about her friends, as they all
seem to have deserted her. or else she has
none."
"Well, l think it is my duty to ask her."
said Mrs. Brainerd, "and I'll do it as kindly
as can, so as to spare her feelings. But if
there is any living person who ought to take
y
to be left alone at such a time as this"
So she broached the subject carefully to
her charge and Celestine received her pro-
poSal to write or send message to any one
she chose to mention, more calmly than she
had ventured to expect.
She reflected moment in silence, then
gave her Miss Latimer's address.
"Don't ask her to come, please" she said,
"only tell her that l shall not be here long
and-send her my love. She is an old
friend-sOme one used to know, long ago."
"My DEAR Mrs. Brainerd said, ''Wny did
you not let me send to her before ?"
"It did not matter. l have needed moth
ing-yOu have been SO kind to me-" was
Celestine's answer, as she held out her vast
ed hand and Mrs. Brainerd, after kissing
her, hurried away to hide the tears that the
simple action brought to her eyes.
Celestine lay on her couch now she was
too weak, after Miss Christiana assisted her
to rise and partially dress in the morning,
to do more than walk, with the help of q
supporting arm, to little room adjoining
her chamber, and there keep quiet for the
rest of the day on comfortable chintz-cov-
cred sofa with luxurious pillows, which
Mrs. Brainerd appropriated to her use.
Sometimes she held book or a bit of work
in her hand, but it was mere preteXt OF
occupying herself. After she knew that
Mrs. Brainerd had sent her missive to Miss
Latimer, a suppressed excitement took pos
session of her, and was visible in certain
restlessness OF manner and brightness OF
glance which showed that some inward
emotion was at work. In spite of her care
full habit of self control, and the conviction
which, by constant endeaVOr, she had sue