Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-28
BRIGHT BITS.

WHEY you visit Dodge City, Kan, and hear
| the bullets whzzing around, you VIII know
| why it is called Dodge City.-Phtta. CdH'
THERE are sssinging fish, in the Indian
! ocean. They may be able to run over the
scales, but it Is not often they reach the high
| sea. -NOTristO1on Herald
"OH, mamma, mammal said little girl
! the other day, as she saw a chicken without
| any feathers in its tail, ''see the ola men she
| has lost the ribbons out of her polonalse."
4 CORRESPONDENT asks if it is proper to
| dance with married lady when her husband
| is looking on. Certainly. The dancing is
| sure to be very proper under such clrcum-
-PhilGdeLDhid CAL.
THE proposition of the recently resUrrected
| KnOW-Nothing party to nominate Gen. Grant
! for the Presidency meets with our approval.
| The developments of the past four months
| show that the ex-President is eminently
| qualified to lead such party.-L5e.
"COL. WILSON is a fne-lOoking man, amt
| hes" said a friend of ours the other day.
| yes" replied another. 81 was taken for him
| once" ''YOu! why you're as ugly as SIN" Il
| don't care for that: | Endorsed his note. and
| was taken for hIm-by the sheriff. "-TesdS
| Sittin0S.
| TORCHLGHT professions will soon be in or
| der: and it will be the easiest thing magma
BILE when a patriot goes home late at night
and his wife wonders, For mercy's sake.
| Charles, what makes you smell so?" Tor the
OatriOt to explain. 'S'kerOsene, dar( HE cling;
! torshlght p'sessOn, y'knOw; been breathing
in it (hic) all the evening."-BOston Times.
"WHAT name does your husband call you.
| by?" said bride to friend who had been
| married several airs, Does he call yom!
docs he? Mine used to cali me popsey WOO
| sew. but he doesn't use that term now"
''What does he call you, them HE calls
me. say, there "-SOHaerCjtte Journal.
ssJAMEs. I find a bad quarter in the till;
| have YOU any idea where it came fromg" mo,
| sir: that IS, l should say, do you, ali, do you
| attend the Tenth Church, sirI' YES"
| Don't Deacon Swift take up the collection,
| slr?" yes" "Well, Deacon Swift was in
| here short time ago and bought some
| gar" "You may go to dinner, james,
| Pittsburgh Chronicle.
| SOMETHING LACKING. -Baker-"Yes, mum;
| / now put my name on my bread to prevent
| my rivals from initiating my loayes and get
| ting my custom" HOusekeeper-'A wise
| precautiOn. But was that bread You left here
| Yesterday genuine?" "Oh, yes. mum" "Then
sides your name to the loaves." Certainly,
mum, If You say So What is it," "The
| date. "-PhilddelDhid Call.
.sNIY dear boy" said an earnest Sunday
| school teacher at the North End Mission to a
! frOwsv urchin, "dO you know that we are all
| sinners?" ''Yes, marin" ''Do you know that
| YOU are a sinner?' ''Yes, marm." 4 long
and earnest talk followed, in which the claims
of the gospel were fully set forth, but the
| teacher was only rewarded by an unintelligi-
| BILE stare. Finally, 1t occurred to the teacher
| that perhaps she had taken the boy beyond his
| depth, and she inquired: John, you know
! what sinner is. don't your" SINNERS? oh,
| yes; sinners is strings in turkeys legs
IT is dark. lie steals up to the garden
! gate. My own sweet" "My dearest own"
| Then the noise of kissing. ''Speak in whis-
| pers. dearest; the old man is not in bed yet"
! ''And do you love me-" do love you? |
| love you with a strength that would knock
Sullivan out in one round" ''Those stolen
meetings are so lovely. Don't you think sO?"
| More kissing. Then a voice from the house.
MARY Mar-yl" ''Im coming, ma am"
| There is a rapturous parting. Then the
Young man, as he steals off, sOlilOquiZes:
| ''Mary l guess | made mistake. That's
| the servant girls name."-SdR Francisco
| Chronicle.
SOME time ago, at a public gathering in
| WebfOOt county, Col. Landsmon was selected
| to read the Declaration of independence. He
had not proceeded far when an old fellow,
who had come with large following of Dry
Fork boys, shouted: 'Mistur. whit sort o.
artckle is that you're readn'P "The Decla-
ration of Independence. sir" "Wall, now,
the wars over out here in this section, an we
don't want none o. that secesh business. fit
for the South, an / shifted good deal o.
smoke and stopped several pounds O. lead, but
when flung down my old fuZee / agreed that
the scrimmage was dun. Now, Mister, ]
don't think that you air dOin right to come
out here an read that thing to the young
folks. Lees dead, an Grants busted up.
they tell me, what's tho use in all this
hurrah business? am as good a Southern man
as anybody. but l never was no gluttOn."-
Arkdnsd1o IrdUeller.