The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-06-25
SHUT OUT.

1t is toward the end of an after
noon in December, and Wilfred Rol
lesion is walking along a crowded
London street with his face turned
westward. A few moments ago anG
he was scarcely conscious of where
he was or where he meant to go; b,
he was walking on mechanically in
heavy stupor, through which there
stole a ahaunting sense of degradation
and despair that tortured him DULY
And suddenly, as if by magic, this
has vanished he seems to himself
to have walked from miserable day
dream to the buoyant consciousness
of youth and hope. Tenreraments
which are subject to fits of heavy
and causeless depression have theil
compensations sometimes in the
very violence of the reaction which
follows the infesting cares, as in
Longfellow's poem, fold their tents
like the Arabs, and as silently steal
away" and with their retreat comes
an exquisite exhilaration which
more equable dispositions can never
experience.
Is this so with Rolleston now
He only knows that the cloud has
lifted from his brain, and in the cleal
sunshine which bursts upon him he
can look his sorrows in the face, and
that there is nothing so terrible in
them after all.
1t is true that he is not happy at
the big city day school which he
has just left. How should he be
He is dull and Grabbed and uncouth
and knows too well he is general
object of dislike; no one there cares
to associate with him, and he makes
no attempt to overcome thar preju-
dices, being perfectly aware that
they are different from him and hat
ing them for it, but hating himself,
perhaps, the most.
And though all his evenings are
spent at home there is little rest for
him even there for the work for the
next day must be prepared, and he
sits over it till late, sometimes with
desperate efforts to master the diff
culties, but more often staring at the
page before him with eyes that are
almost willfully vacant.
All this has been and is enough
in itself to account for the gloomy
state into which he had sunk. But
and how could he have forgotten
TIT is over for the present.
Tonight he will not have to sit
UP struggling with the tasks which
will only cover him with fresh dis
grace on the morrow; for a whole
month he need not think of them,
nor of the classes in which the hand
of every one is against him. For the
HOLIDAYS have begun; to-day has
been the last of the term. Is there
no reason for Joy and thankfulness
in that? What fool he has been
to let those black thoughts gain such
a hold over him
Slowly, more as if it had happen
ed long time ago instead of quite
recently, the incidents of the morn
ing come back to him, vivid and
clear once more-m orning chapel
and the doctors sermon, and after
ward the pretense of work and re-
laxed discipline in the class rooms,
when the results of the examination
had been read out, with the names
of the boys who had gained prizes
and their remove TO the form above.
He had come out last of course, but
no one expected anything from him;
a laugh had gone round the desks
when his humble total closed the
list, and he had joined in it to show
them he didn't care. And then the
class had been dismissed, and there
had been friendly good-byes, ar
rangements for walking home in
company or for meeting during the
holidays-for all but him he had
gone out alone-and the dull blank
ness had come over him from which
he has only just recovered.
But, for the present at all events,
he has got rid of it completely he
is going home, where at least he is
not despised, where he will find
sanctuary from gibes and jostlings
and impositions; and the longer he
thinks of this the higher his spirits
rise, and he steps briskly, with a
kind of exaltation, until the people
he passes in the streets turn and
look at him, struck by his express
sion. "They can see how jolly I'm
feeling" he thinks, with a smile.
The dusk is falling, and the shops
he passes are brilliant with lights
and decorations, but he does not
stop to look at any of them; his
mind is busy with settling how he
shall employ himself on this the
first evening of his liberty-the first
for SO long on which he could feel
his own master.
At first he decides to read. Is
there not some book he had begun
and meant to finish, SO many days
ago now that he has even forgotten
what it was all about, and only re-
members that it was exciting?
And yet, he thinks, he won't read
on the very first night
,f the holidays. Quite lately-yes-
,erday or the day before-his moth
sr had spoken to him, gently but
very seriously, about what she call
I'd the morose and undisciplined
,emper which would bring misery
lpon him if he did not set himself
earnestly to overcome 1T.
And there were times, he knew,
when it seemed as if a demon pos
,essed him and strove him to wound
wen those who loved him and
whom he loved-times when their
.ffection only reused in him some
,ideous spirit of sullen contradic-
ion.
He feels softened now, somehow,
md has a new longing for the love
ne has 80 often harshly repulsed.
He will overcome this sulkiness o.
lis he will begin this very evening !; !
IS soon as he gets home he will tell
his mother that he is sorry, that he
Ices love her really, only that when