The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1884-10-08
WIT AND PLEASANTLY,

"Tell the truth and shame the devil" said
a married man to his wife. Amt you
afraid. DEAR" she answered with a cruel
meat-axe smile, "that you will be ashamed
if do?"
Old Dan Rice says he has danced while
the eminent Henry Clay played the fiddle
for him. 1t was upon keel-boat coming
from Wheeling, w. Va. to Maysville, after
the adjournment of Congress in 1887.
Every fashionable girl now wears small
lobster on her breast. 1t is, perhaps, the
better way TO wear lobster, though we
have occasionally worn them in our stomach
with more or less satisfaction TO ourselves.
''Oh, 1 do so dote on the sea-" she gurgled.
IF you only had yacht, Augustus, dearp'
II have no yacht, Wilhelmina," he sighed.
but can give You a little smack" And
then 1t sounded as if a cork had flown out of
bottle.
"What influence has the moon upon the
tider' asked the Professor. The class wag
replied that he did not know exactly what
influence it had upon the tied but that it
had tendency TO make the united awfully
spoony.
"Hallo" said policeman, what are you
you 90 in the house? Have you lost the
keyT No." responded the disconsolate
citizen, "I-hic-haven't lost the key. I've
-hic-lost the key-hole.'
IAN elderly maiden having had several
teeth extracted, and being asked by female
companion if it hurt much, replied: "Well,
l suppose it did, but was so excited be-
cause he had his arm around my neck that
/ didn't feel but very little pain"
An Illinois editor complains that the
number of marriages is ridlculously small
when compared with the time squandered
in buggy-riding. The editor forgets that it
is the money squandered in buggy-riding
that diminishes the number of marriages.
An Iowa school-tescher, lamenting the
early marriages of some of her young lady
pupils, spoke of one girl in particular, who
was married last week at the age of fifteen,
and said she did wish she could have taken
the girl through fractions before she got
married.
French ladies have suddenly taken to
Italian styles in dress, which have proved
remarkably becoming and effective. Red in
every tone and combination is made use OF,
and If, as has always been said by Parisisns,
we are Just year behind them in fashion,
next summer will see our fashionable re-
sorts sgleam with red toilets of every de
scription, from darkest garnet to brilliant,
fiery Pharaoh red, and the cratic young
lady OF fashions own, who goes to the last
extreme and dons an entire toilet made up
OF the latter shade, will have to be looked at
and admired through piece OF smoked
glass.
Jones-'T tell you what it is, there's
nothing like having highly educated wife"
Smith, am great admirer of cultivated
women myself, and hope when / marry
will get one.'' Take no other, my friend |;
take no other. You don't know how much
unpleasantness l have escaped on account OF
my wifes accomplishments" 81 do not
quite eaten your drift" well, you see, the
first time she welcomed me with a curtain
lecture / whispered to her that the servants
might oyerhere. So, ever since that she has
always done her scolding in French" "a
good idea, certainly, but how does that re-.
ieve your 81 don't understand the langu-
age"
The Irishman VINO went up in the hotel
lift without knowing what it Is did not easily
recover from his surprise. He relates the
story in this way: 81 went to the hotel, and
says j, is Misther Smith in, sorr?' Says the
man with the sojer cap, Will yez step inT
So ! steps into the closet, and all of suddint
he pulls q rope, and-it's the truth rs telling
yez-the walls of the building begin runnin'
down to the cellar. Och, murther,' says /,
'whst'l become of Bridget and the childer
which was left below there" SAYS the sojer-
cap man, BE aisy, sorr. They'll be all right
when yeZ come down. Come down is itP
says /. And it is no closet at all but hay
thenish balloon that syez got me in And
wild that the walls stopped stock still, and he
opened the door, and there was wild the
roof Just over my head And by the sainted
Molly, that's what saved me from going up
to the hivins entirelyln