Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-11-28

One year is the time usually adopted in
America A parent or child in mourn
ing would not think of entering society
under three months, aud more punctil-
ious persons would exclude themselves
for six. Wives mourn for the relatives
of their husbands Just as they would for
their own, and husbands pay the same
Difference to the relatives oftheir wives.
Men in mo rning are permitted to
go in society much earlier than women,
but q restricted from giving any
entertainments until the period has ex-
pired.
Tho weeds for mems hats vary In
width according to the nearness of the
relative for whose loss it Is worn. ex-
cept in the case of a wife's demise,
when the Grape should cover three
fourths of a high hat or three inches OF
q fat crown.
IL Is considered in much better taste
TO wear simple and less expensive
habiliments than formerly, and many
women of refinement in wearing the
widows cap do away with the long
Grape veil entirely, only using it at the
funeral.
LETTERS oP coNDoLENcE.
Funeral Lards are never sent to city
friends at the death of q near relative;
while it would be considered solecism
to do so, their use is sanctioned for dis
tant friends. Then printed cards are
selected, bordered with black. The in
scription furnishes the name of do
ceased, place and date of death, with
time and place of burial. IL these cards
are delayed till after the obsequies
brief account of illness and death is
penned, but such communicat;o ;ons only
60 to the dearest family friends.
Cards are sent TO bouse OF mourn
ing, and may or may not contain an
expression Of sympathy. but ouly an in
innate friendship affords one perm:s-
sion to write letter of coincidence.
Long. torturing letters aie happily OBJ
sole.e brief ones. when the sympathy
they express is genuine, are always ac-
ceptable and help comfort stricken
heart. If you must write, write briefly,
as did frivolous society woman once
81 simply send you a press OF the
hand.
Console II you must, can tear It
Ills only a waste of breath;
Not al the preaching since Adam
Has ma'ie death other than death,
Is the language of most hearts in the
hour Of deep grief.
SOCIAL PRIVILEGES.
SeclusIon from society need not cut
one of fiom friendly communication
nor lesson the considerate attention of
friends. 1t Is proper TO call at the
house Of mourning at any time in per-
son and make kind inquiry for the
family. II the acquaintance is but
slight, q visiting card is left, with the
lower left-hand corner or all the left
side folded over. l. is not, however,
etiquette TO see any member of the
fam ly. Tie calls may be continued,
AM when the lereaved feel disposed
they will have the servant announce
you. These caSds are merely
visiting cards and often have Ito in
uire" written Oh the upper corner.
When persons in mourning desire to
enter society again they would lea g
cards, without entering. as an intima-
ton that they are equal to paying and
receiving calls in any case where in
,,uiry has been made. These Enquiry
calls arc recognized bv wri ing the
woods Thanks for kind inquiry" on a
mourning caru. Until this intmation
has been given socicty in general would
not venture TO intrude upon the
seciusion of those in mourning.
The question as to how soon persons
in mourning should or should not re-
enter so ieIy is in some measure an
open one. As regards very near rela
tiIes the regulation per cd of seclusion
is rigidly adhered To, vet in case OF
more distant friends this rule is greatly
modified.
complimentary mourning. which is
coming moro and more common. by no
means neceSsitates seclusion. For in
stance, when person chooses to wear
black for family friend, beloved m.n-
lister, eminent physician, noted STATES
man, or for an employer, 1t Is not OBJ
ligatory 10 forego any reasonable
amount Of pleasure, nor is 1t necessary
- wear fun back. The attire may
have about it tue charm of novelty or
suit 10 a nicely the complexion and
general style of tho wearer. But. be
that as t may, q heavy Garb Of mourn
ing is particularly out of place in a gay
company.
4 woman may attend q thcater, con-
cert, OIL lecture in a costume black as
woe and heavy a. grief, three months
after the death of a relative, but the
conventionalities would debar her from
attending an opera dinner, reception or
wedding. II people choose not to wear
mourning at all they can go 10 any or
all pla, es of amusement unchallenged.
for they have asserted the right to be
independent, which must be respected
by society. But, once don the habili-
ments of woe, and the dictates of so
clety must be followed.
TIGHTENING THE cRAPE.
In the endeayor to heed these man.
dates one may overdo the matter, as is
very frequently the case among very
dilident people. 1t is very silly be-
lief a.Eong hose who sorrow deeply
that a woman in full mourning may
not walk, drive or recreate, however
temperately, for two years without q
heavy Grape Veil over her face, and it
is a common remark among the CEN
serious that sho who lightans her
Grape before that time wears her
SORROW lightly. These critics hold
to the peiief that n two-years' pen
| ance ia sackcloth reflects great credit
ON widow and orphan alike. Of course.
no one says a woman may not wear her
weeds all her life if she so chooses, but
II is question whether she does not
seriously disturb the happiness and
/ pleasure of the living IN this obse1uious
/ regard for forlnalities. Formality il is
/ in nearly every instance. for
! physicians are almost unanimous in
condemning q custom which nine out
of every ten men who have their wits
about them before they '-shuiie off this
mortal coil" denounce. A doctor who
] l. t,aF.icuiarIv ls,s,d In bfs daounc;..;,-