St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-03-30

tenuary; are you % years Oid. My unfortu-
nate friend, you don't look 30''
No,n replied the thief, humbly, g I don't
show my age, but that is because take things
SO easy"
And the good chaplain told him that was
right, that care and worry made men old
faster than hard work.
OLD SHADY.
"What is the dark horse in the presiden-
tial contest, that the papers are all talking
about?'' asked Laura, looking up from the
Sunday Eagle. woman always reads the
morning paper after supper.
'Night mare,' grunted Tom, with hol-
low groan, for he was doubled all over him
self, trimming pet corn with his favorite
razor, and had just made miscue and sliced
| the top off the top of a toe two toes away
from the corn pasture.
ALL FLESH IS GRASS.
| The Missouri hay crop was failure last
year, but Kansas City packed 420,OO hogs.
Bulwer knew what he was talking about
when he made Richelieu say, 1.-THE pen is
mightier than theCsword." But so also is
cheese, for that matter
THE PROPER TIME.
Yes, young man, yes. 1 know that. I
dance" Yes your Interpretation is correct,
I think. He probably meant that your time
of life is the time when your head is so much
emptier and lighter than your heels that you
can't use it for anything under the sun ex-
cept belle buoy. Certainly, my son, Ger
tainly; run away to the daunce.
OUR BEST YOUNG MEN.
"Wha's all talk bout that Texas fellah and
| I of-1-o
young men, as he stood with his friends in
haling the maddening fumes of the destroy
ing cigarette.
long silence followed, which was at
length broken by the best young man who
makes living by sucking the head of a
cane. After bordering the question fully
for long time, he said:
"What Lasker " talking bout?
The first young man was evidently annoyed
by the question. He looked sadly at his
toothpick shoes, hoping for some inspiration
from them but none came. He sighed
heavily, cast an appealing glace toward the
wellinformed best young man, who remained
silent, however, and the first speaker re-
piled:
Same Lasker-felah that got into trouble
with Texas fellah-Doubiltree was Texas
fellahs name, b'lieved. Some kind of-er
ah-trouble, b'lieved.''
The eyes of all the best young men now
turned toward the well informed best young
man. He was always looked up to in politi-
| cal discussions, because he once drew sal
airy in the custom house for doing some
thing or other-he had forgotten what it was
he did in the custom house, but he did it for
several years. In answer to the chances bent
upon him in mute, but intelligent inquiry,
the well informed best you man said:
"Aw-yaas; l know. said at the time
thered be trouble. Said when Secretary
Steward-n
'Who's he secretary of!'' asked the best
Young man, whose mother takes in wash
ing.
dash if know" said the well informed
best young man, after a painful silence;
s'some club or othah-Ive just forgotten
what. Well, 1 said when Secretary Steward
bought Alasker of the Proosians-said then
Bismarck make trouble bout it some day, IN
so he has.''
''Wha'd he buy it for?'' asked the best
young man, who generously allows his sister,
who teaches school, nearly one-half of he1
| salary.
''Don' know" said the well informed best
| young man. "'Spect wanted to build on it,
| or-Or-or something" he added, with d
sudden CLEAN of knowledge that dazzled
| him.
''Wha's Texas fellah got to do with it?''
asked the best young man, who used to assist
at the ribbon counter.
''Why," explained the well informed best
young man, 'Texas fellah's something to dc
with government; he's land commissioner,
b'lieve; something # that kind; he's in with
government some way, anyhow. Names
Oglesby, Texas fellahs name is. Has some
some interest in Alasker, reckoned."
And the best young men wandered on to q
place. that sold scented cigarettes, marveliug
greatly at the breadth and and depth of the
knowledge of the well informed young man
Still, it isn't every young man who could en-
joy that young mans opportunities. But
these are stirring times, and when we reflect
that by and by the youth of to-day must man
and guide the ship of state it is very crafty
ing to see our best young men taking an ac-
tive interest in politics.
ROBERT J. BURDETTE.
ARDMoRE, March 81.