Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-11-13
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WANTED, E1,0OO.


The great drawback in my life has
been my name. l am almost 10th to
tell it you, dearest reader-but truth.
like murder, must out. Itis--alas! my
pen almost refuses to record it-Peri-
Wrinkle Dabchuck.
There. it is all over; have made d
clean breast of it, and trust you don't
think less of me for it.
My father was we'll to do trades
man, and departed from this life peace
fully, bequeathing to me little else than
the name, because, as he averred in his
will. he made the money by hard work
and intended that / should follow so
good an example.
The most extraordinary provision of
my late, but not deeply-lamented IA
theirs will was that as soon as l could
present myself at his old bank and lay
down thousand pounds in gold on
the counter, was to be heir to what
property he had left--no amount being
stated.
was now the only representative of
the Dabchuck family, my poor mother
having slowly dropped and died under
the awful name she had assumed, as
did also many baby Dabchucks, who.
wiser than l, refused to live in world
where such milestone of name would
be sure TO drag them down.
The only person who seemed to
thrive under such an intliction was my
father, who had the diges ton of an os-
trich; and no conscience to speak of, or
he wouldn't have treated his offspring
so cruelty as to leave him-that is me,
mind you-with only five pounds to
face the world with. excepting two
suits of clothes, not quite new, silver
watch OF the turnip style, warranted
10 GO only when carried.
His business, furniture, and every
thing was sold 10 add TO the fortune
was to come into-whcn, was only too
problematic.
| had often heard that fortunes were
made out of twopence-halfpenny, but
always in places other than where the
lucky individuals were born.
Having seen the elder Dabchuck
placed where everybody must rest
sooner or later, whether prince or
peasant, l made up my modest bundle,
and bidding good by to London, went
like Dick Wilmington on my travels;
but unlike him, with u dreadful name
at my heels, ready to bring me into
scorn and derision at any moment
| sat on a milestone just as he had,
feeling very tired and hungry, and with
n few promising blisters to remind me
that walking was not all pleasure, and
listened for the sound of bells, as an
augury of future grandeur and pros
perity; but alas! what chime of bells,
however prosaic, would ring for the
name of Periwinkle Dabchuck?
did hear Il solitary tinkle, which
certainly was too feeble to stir the
heart and quicken the pulses, the sound
being followed by the well known mel
ancholy cry, not of bird, but of a
donkey, behind which was tinker's
cart.
Good morning. young gentleman"
said the proprietor of the show, looking
critically at me in way that made me
shift uneasily on the milestone, '.you
don't happen to have q little baccy
about your"
''Don't smoke" l answered mildly.
Thought so, mister; does your mo-
Their know you are out-eh?"
Haven't got mother" l pro-
tested.
Thought not, mister. What's your
name?" was the sarcastic rejoinder, as
if the fact of my having no tobacco had
reused the tinker's choler.
'Dabchuck," 1 replied innocently,
taken off my guard by his bouncing
manner
''Good lor'. Neddy!" he exclaimed,
addressing the donkey and dealing him
blow from short cudgel, at which
it lifted up its voice in derision; ''that's
q name to go to church with. if you
like! Gee up!"
Just my luck" / muttered as 1
arose from my hard seat; seven tink-
er derides me. l think I'll try and get
my unfortunate name changed when /
get back to London"
Having lived n vagabond life for a
while, and nearly spent my little all, l
fell in with n travelling circus, the
friendship of whose proprietor was
lucky enough to make ut q roadside
inn. by ajudicious treat of unsweetened
gin.
Now if there was one thing more
than another | liked from babyhoed al
most, it was horse-riding; and / flatter-
ed myself | could do the equestrian
trick with here and there one.
Most of my pocket money for years
went on such treats-taken on the sly,
though. for had my father known it he
would have cut me out of his will en-
tirely, and not troubled me to 60 in
search of a thousand pounds.
On one occasion narrowly escaped
detection Mt his hands, and even at this
period, when my busy pen writes this.
| have sensation as if cold water is
trickling down my back, at the mere
thought of it.
My hack was obtained from q groom
whose master never knew how his
horses were let out on hire, or the wor-
thy Thomas Sly would not have re-
tanned his place-a remunerative one
for single hour after the discovery.
Inflated with daring ambition, pur-
chased pair of spurs, just to appear a
real gentleman-rider and not a cockney
doing the grand on q superannuated
bit of horseilesh that would soon be
sent TO the knacker's to provide delect-
able food for animals that are fond of
nocturnal rambles on the states and
tiles.
piloted my frey Bucephalus safely
down the aristocratic regions of Bel
gravia, and flattered myself that many
a fair one looked admiringly at my still
budding form, that had not then quite
done growing, without, however, con-
Meeting its owner with any such very
| snobbish name as that of Dabchuck.
Now. here" thought, as l arrived
abreast of the statue of the Iron Duke,
whose fine chiselei face seemed to
frown down upon me, IN try my
spurs. Won't they wake my Arab steed
up?"
And didn't it with vengeance
that's ALL First it put its back up. and
Strengthened its ears-what it did with
its tail can't say. not having the faculty
| nf eaofp,r ha ok .v q ride. than IL rhaa1oI