Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1884-01-12
WHY DUMMY SWORE OFF.

! WHY DUMMY SW0RE Or.
/ Jack Quimby awoke with a bad
headache. This WAS no new sensa.
ton to Mr.. Quimby. 1t was. old as
the eternal hills, for Jack was bib
ulous soul, and his head was not
propOrtionate to his inclination for
strong waters. He loved drink, not
for its own sake, but for the mad
merriment the bowl provoked, the
song, the jest, and the anecdote, the
lnaudlin fraternal embrace, and the
pledges. of everlasting friendship.
He occupied responsible position
in Front street office-fOr, despite
his deep and Unsuitable thirst, Mr..
Quimby was an excellent man OF
81 look" said Mr.. Quimby, as he
ruefully surveyed his crimson coun-
tenance in hand-glass, II look like
a billed owl. Or the hast run of shad.
Or the breaking UP of hard win
ter. This won't do; I'll have to
swear off, or the cold and silent
| grave will soon claim this manly
form for its own.n and Jacks eyes
suffused with tears fer the fumes of
the last round of night-caps were by
no means dissipated.
| "There never was d better Chris
tian ruined by drink than the un-
dersigned," he continued, and then,
as his eyes lit on a bottle on the
bureau, he said, with a deep sigh of
gratitude "Thank Heaven, there
is asnffter to brace up OH - q
Mr. Quimby's toilet was slow and
painful this morning. He looked
at the cold water with shudder,
but finally worked himself up to
the washing point. He was a long
time in getting his collar buttoned,-
he dared not shave, though he usu-
ally performed that Office every
day, and he marked with a groan
that new pimple had taken its
place on his forehead.
CLEARLY" said Quimby, 81 must
swear off. There are only five days
left OF December. Then the new
year and piety," and much con-
soled by the self-promised reform,
he left his room to make a feeble
apology for breakfast. A few
hours later and Mr.. QIinby was
himself again. 1t had taken much
artificial aid to bring his restoration
about, but Mr.. Quimby played the
good Samaritan to himself with the
most liberal cheerfulness. ga hair
of the dog" was one of his most
cherished maxims. The trouble
was that he began with the hair.
and usually concluded with the
whole hide.
I "If," he often remarked to his
confidants, 81 could keep cold sober
for twenty-four hours together, do
not think | would find much trod-
BILE in swearing off," And then
he'd recite "1he Vagabond" with
tears streaming down his cheeks.
and dwell with infinite pathos on
the lines:
"You should have seen these classic feat
You need not scoff, SIR was not then
Such a bdrning libel upon Gods creatures
was one of your handsome men,"
Despite his rotations he was
handsome, and the burning libel
part of the poem, 50 far as he was
concerned, was purely imaginary.
Two young and pretty girls sat in
a handsome mansion on California
street. 1t was not Mob Hill, but
near enough to breath the aristocrat-
ic atmosphere of that locality. One,
a blonde, was making mOuchoir
case for New Years present. And
on the lid her fair fingers were en-
broidering the initials J. @.
81 cannot imagine how you en-
dure that fellow, Alice" said the
other. "He never comes near me
without reminding me of spice |
factory. Why, he must exist on
cloves and cinnamon, and that sort |
ofthing. am sure he drinks.
have heard him talk so strangely, 1
and one night he began song and
burst out crying in the middle of it.
Bob had TO take HIM into the hall.
He could hardly walk. Bob said it
was emotions, but am sure it was
whiskey, or some horrid drink"
''Nonsense," said Alice Benton.
Jack is so finely strung that the least
thing affects him. Jack is q dear
fellow, is Jack. SO gOOd-hearted
and clever. They adore him at the
club"
''Perhaps So" rejoined her friend;
"but it must take fortune to keep
him in cloves. By-by. / must get
down town to match that lace"
And with one of those natty little
loye-you-for- you-mother kisses that
girls exchange, Bessie Morris skip.
ped away.
Alice put another stitch in the
curl of the J, and examined it crit
icalIy. Then she sighed, put her
work aside, and fell into a fit OF de-
jected musing. slack does drink
HORRIBLE" she said 81 wish i was
not so fond of him." Then, repent
antly, her woman's loyalty assert
ing itself: THAT is, / mean I wish
/ could cure him. Yet he has so
often promised me to swear off, as
he calls it; but fear swear off and
swear on are all the same to poor
Jack. / am running fearful risk
they tell me, in marrying him. But
what can do? / cannot give him
up. / would not II ] could. And !
can not reform him." And Alice,
in true feminine fashion began to /
cry.
i.Tears, idle tears. / know not 4
what We mean,n cried a merry voice
in her ear, and a tall. manly young
fellow caught away her hands, and
laughed heartily at her look OF dis