The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1884-07-26
NASI5N
The Corners Ratify the Nomination and
Discuss the Platform.
Confederate y ROADS.
tN ich H. in the State Nv Kentucky,
I,,lN II

mild. The horn was footed from the
front NV Bascom's grosery, and at the
summons the citizens NV The Corners
rallied at the meetin house and we or
gained ourselves to-wunSt into ratiii-
cation meetin.
| took tue chair, CT matter Nv course,
and Isaker Gavitt WIZ SPONTANEOUSLY
appintid Secretary, Re bein the only cit
izen NV the Dimekratic persuasion in the
Corners wich hez the gift NV ritin, ceptin
myself, and NV course | can't be Presi-
dent and Secretary of the same meetin.
The follerin resolooshen wuz to-wuns:
submitted -
Resolced, That the Dimocrisy NV Con-
federit y Roads hev heerd with mingled
emoshuns NV pleasure and gratitood NV
the nominashen NV that sterlin patriot
and world renowned statesman, Clcvc-
land, Nv
Their cnsood at this pint a most okkcrd
pause.
"What State is Cleveland iroW?' en-
quired the Cheerman NV the Committy
on ResoooshenS.
"Uv Moo FORK, ansered promptly.
The blank wuZ filed in wen untorchu-
city it wuz se.iestd that ez the resoloo-
shens wuZ agoiu out to the world 1t wood
be decent to put in his first name, and not
one NV us knowd wat it WIZ.
Deekin Pogram insistid that it must
be Androo. The fust vote cast for a
Dimokrat for President" he remarkt,
"wuz for And:oo, Androo JaXon, and
the last Dimokratic President we he'd
This man Cleveland, his name must be
Androo."
And SO it went into the resolooshens,
"Androo Cleveland
diskivered dillikilty the mint red
the platform. Deekin Pogram is, and
alluz heZ bin, a violent free trader, while
Issaker Gavitt is, and hcZ bin, a violent
perteckshunist, ever sence he sekoorcd a
interest in a rollin mill wich sum Eastern
capitalists establish on his father $
farm. supposed, however, that had
'em both fixed. | red it to 'em separate.
w, and constrood to lSsaker that nothlr
Good be more pertcckshun, and to tie
good cd Deekin that it wuz cz wildly
free trade cz even he Good desire
The platform WIZ red by myself and
we proposed another resolooshen ap
provin that. Then trouble ensood.
Deekin PoSram, wich is violent nee
trader, rIz to remark that he Good vote
for that platform with his whole halt
and sole. He he'd bin free trader al
his life, and he never knowd Dime
kratic Convenshun To plant itself Sc
c'eerly and explicitly on the side NV free
trade scnce he he'd bin i'll polytix.
Issaker Gavitt riZ to say he Good vote
for the tariff plank with all his hart, be-
co. that plank showd that the Dimocrisy
he'd FINELY got right on the tariff Iues-
ton, the plank, cz he red it, being iol
the perteckshun NV American industry.
1t wuz encurrids in to them, wich beleev-
ell in progress and SIGH, to hev the Dim
ocrisy NV the Nashen rite onto this NEST
important pint.
''Do 700 pcrtend to say that the Dim
ocratic platform favors perteckshun -
shreeked the Deekin. "EZ it WIZ red
to me, it is for free trade, pure and sim
pie
"Yoo old ass, can't loo understand
plane En-: fish? Ef it ISL t a squal e toed
perteckshun dockyment | can't spell.
zoo are fool and alluZ wuz.'
Jist then the Deekin, in the intrcst Nv
harmony, announst his intenshun nv
whalin ISsakcr and proceeded to d. it.
and ez the old man ailuZ did hev muscle
Their WIZ the prosper NV lively row.
He jumped across the seets to the Sekrc-
tary S desk and he'd Issaker by the throte
and Issaker he'd him by the hair wher it
is the shortest, and they wuz rollin oil
the floor in less IL no time.
In the meantime Bascom and Kernel
MPhelter he'd got into a tussle ez to
what the platform meant on the money
question, and the rest Nv the citizens got
into a squabble CT to whether Cleveland
wuz Dimekrat at all or not. becoz
Tammany opposed him, and the upshot
incloodid every Dimekrat present except
me, and we broke up without passin any
or ratilying the nominashen
at all
Deekin Pogram and | retired to the
back room NY Bascom $, and while the
old Saint wuz a washin the blood OFF his
face, We he'd conversashen over the
platform.
"Parson,' sed the old man, what is
the reel meenin NV the platform -
"Anythius 700 like" wuz my reply,
anything 700 like. Remember it's a
Dimocratik platform, and a Dimocratik
platform must be comprehensive
"Docs il mean free trade or peItCck-
shun?'
Either or both, or neither"
PEARSON, wunst on a time an ekcstiian
attempted the perlus feet NV ridin two
bosses, wich wuz Il goin in different dl-
reckshuns. 1t RESULTED in a totle failure,
aud he WIZ split in two, and his blood
drenched the arena
"Deekin, recognize the parable. But
700 must remember we amt ridin two
hosseS, list now We hev only promised
to ride EN-. We hev not yit got into the
saddle. We hcv promised to ride the
perteckshun boss and likewise the free
trade boss, but we don hev to git onto
EN- till after the November eleckshun.
The postotlises and custom houses are
then sckoored, and after that we kin ride
either boss, or neither, cz we see fit. The
name pint is to git the otlises. After