National Republican., 1884-06-21
MANY USEFUL HINTS.
ChTistidu at Work.


Opening tho parasol quickly. with the
point upward-You interest me.
Closing in tho same manner-I am not
favorably impressed by you.
Opening with the point downward-Ac-
quaintance would not be disagreeable to me.
Closing similarly-Any advance would be
repelled.
Closed and carried over the right shoulder
Beware of observers.
Closed over tho left shoulder-Wo are
watched.
Revolved slowly while open--I like you,
ReYolved rapidly-I love you.
Used as cane-,You may walk with me-
Laid across tho lap--You may sit by me.
Carried under tho right arm-Yes.
Under the left arm-No.
Swung point down in front-Kindly salu-
tation.
Moved perpendicularly while held open
over the head-Goodby.
Revolved open behind the back--You may
follow mo.
SHE WOULD TAKE ABOUT AHALF PIPEFUL.
Evansville argus.
An Evansville drummer was travelling in n
buggy over in southern Illinois, and stopped
ut a cabin in the woods, and asked for drink
of water. A gourd was handed him, and, as
he stood at the well, the tall, angular raw
boned woman of the house asked:
stranger, II it's any O. my business, who
might you be, anyhow
I'm a Hoosier madam" the tourist re-
Piled
"Hoosier, eh2 Oh, yes one o. them fellers
that peddles socks. Well, we don't want
none. L made dad par outen his old gray
wool shirt. I've got par O. rayther good
ones yet, an Sails III tote her through till
next bar foot time, if she darps up the heels.
Like to bargain with you, but moneys money
no wadays, an we kin worry through with
wat hose we've got. Wat that? Plug to-
baokerY Wish you'd gimme bout half a
pipeful of it,"
sHoo HER AWAY,
Chicago Nel0s
A Legal Construction walked into q court
room.
"Did you send for me, judge?"
| Eyes. DO you want u good, easy position ~
| "Of course do"
WELL then, go and stand by tho outer door.
and when q woman with bandBge abou her
| eyes and q set Of scales in her hands comes up
tell her she can't come in"
| "Is that allW
"ThaPs all. It's pretty soft job. I don't
| think she will venture to come around here,
but if she should I'd like to have you handy
to shoe her away"
who is she, anyway, iudgqS What's her
name?'
''Wen, it's no long since Two heard it,
blamed Ii it hasn't slipped my memory"
NO FEAR ABOUT INDIANA.
Cinc.RRati Commercial GGzgHG.
Two parties arc needed 10 mako lively
contest, and there need bo no fear that the
Indiana republicans will not mako 10 lively
for tho democratic nominee, A certain tosti-
mOnial, which became famous in regard To
tho republican victory in Indiana in 1850
has given an erroneous impression as TO thu
means by which IL was organized, Tho In
diana republicans, and all that arc informed
on the politics of that state, aTo aware tina
tho work was done by thorough homo organ
iHatiOp, and that tho same republicans whit
then organized tho victory by honest work
aud by the systematic vigilance to make an
honest election, are now confident OF still
greater popular victory for Blaine and Logan
GETTING THEIR SECOND WIND.
Chicago Inter OCEAN.
The Boston advertiser has become silent Il
its opposition, and the Buffalo Express ha
come out positively for Blaine.
IN A TIGHT FIX.
! NIshpRle World.
And now the young man who consent cd
l become tho victim Of tho test case to try th
constitutionality of tho gambling act I
y Memphis is In trouble, lie was found guilt
2 and fined 5000 and costs, and sentenced
u ono year In prison. The supreme court
Jackson confirmed tho decision the other da,
and now the poor fellow IL In tho condlto
OF old man Lovegood when SUIT yokod hi
n up with the steer. Ii will be remopbert
l. the bovine ran away with tho old man at
breaknock pace across tho fields and msa