davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08
snme to You, Sir.
Fvcnsyillp Argns

ENcnsNillc Argus.
4 dude drummer from this city one
day last week made call at new store
in a small X entucky towu.
The proprietor had just stepped out of
the store for short time, leaving it t.
be watched by an old farmer who al
ways does his trading there, and who,
by the way, is quite hard of hearing.
The drummer entered and approached
the old man, handing him one of his
cards and making few stereotype re-
marks in regard to The weather
The old party took the card. looked at
it and nodded
81 have full line of samples that |
would be pleased TO show you,' said the
drummer.
"Heigh?'
Il have my samples with me and
would like to show them TO you," replied
the drummer, trine louder this time.
"Ies, ! think so. jest wait mint
said the old party.
The drummer lomged around for some
what had happened in the naberhood
whar ! was raised" fiom several of the
grangers a-ound the stove.
"Well, my friend, 'agan resumed the
drummer, ARE you ready 10 look at nv
goods2
81 don't know but what she can"
What are you talking about?"
"Heigh?"
What's the matter with you, any
how?'
Jest a. well as he
SAY mister, that old snoozer's as deaf
as post. I'll bet, ty gum. he hain't
heerd a word you sed to him" put in
ore of the fellows occupied in holding a
box down and trying to whittle a corner
of with his pocket knife.
I'm bet ] do make him hear some
thing rig IT, said the drummer as he
leaned over and howled In the old party's
ear ITS one o me for the crowd
Whatll you take" and he poin ed TO-
ward thr little bar in the rear of the
room, behind which stood healthy look
ING German woman no doubt the bro
prietor's Wife.
Vas, dew feel kinder dry about the
t''''a'' anu 4 'piI htcl u l ucNr ana
he was at the bar Is soon as the next
one.
After they had all pogred out their
election juice and were clinking their
glasses together tue drummer winked at
the 'sgng' aud then turning 70 the old
party, SAID
We'll, here's to you you condemned
old sAintirt. pirate and train robler."
'>Ime you, sir, same to YOU" said
the o!d parry looking At the drummer
and smiling Sweetly, thinking the drum
mer said here's to your health"
And as the "rang' laughed and
m. ged each other in the ribs. the drde
took has grip and qGietls slid ont at the
back door
Out in the cold, cold world. never TO
return there again.
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08
Apach.- Rrccp :"
New York world

Congressman Springer who has q
fondncss for wild scenes, held novel
reception at the National hotel, Wash
ington, the other evening. 4 delegation
of Apache Indians yisitc ! him and per
formed regular war dance in the room
adjoining teh tea-roOm. The Indians
were in fun war paint and feathers, and
during the dance sent forth succession
of unearthly cultural sounds and blood
curdling whoops. 1t was strange sight
and was witnessed bv many prominent
person who had been invited for the
occasion. AZ the conclusion Of the
dance the Apachcs presented Mn.
Springer with large shield and the
eiiigy Of a papouse tightly bound after
the manner in which their squaws fix
the young Of their tribe.
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08
The Careless I leNator Boy /.

The Hotel World, Of Chicago, speak,
Of the dangerous practices Of allowing
small BOYS to run hotel elevators, That
is a matter that should ne regulated by
law. The elevator should have 70 man
10 run il who has nerve and common
sense. aud who would Ice cool IN am
emergency. To haze vour boots blacked
10y porter, a full grown man, who looks
as though he had more sense than the
aldermen, and then 90 and put your life
in the hands of a shrimp of a bOy m
charge of the elevator, does not make a
hotel guest feel very cCntented. The
average elevator boy j. thinking all the
time Of how long i viii be before he
!ets off watch, so he can 90 skating, and
he does not think ofthe lives he holds
in his hands.
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08
Babies In the Audience,
Robert J. Burdctte.

Ipoint with pride to my record Of
seven or eight years on the rostrum |
have seen and heard in my audience
legions of babies-all good babies,
because all babies are good. Some are
immeasurably better than others, but
there are no bad babies--more and mere
ly varying degrees of goodness. Some
of the babies-the happy ones--cooed
and laughed through the lecture. Some
of them-the precocious oncs-talked
aloud. Some Of tbem--the sensible ones
slept through every word of it; and
some the aunfappy ones, who bore
upon their infant minds burdens of care
and woe-fretted and cried and shrieked
and hollcred. They have screamed
until my feeble voice was inaudible to
myself And ! appeal to any man or
woman TO say if ever lost my temper,
if ever stopped talking because the
baby screamed. If any man says ever
betrayed one sign of Immature or dis
traction the same is thief and liar,
and "dassent take it up" The babies in
the audience never bother me.
have seen them drive an audience to
madness, however,
But then the audience isn't paid for
listening to the baby, and ain. Al least
comprehensively, ! am paid for every
thing that goes on during my hour and
half
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08
4 Melancholy Vanderbilt.
New York Letter

Iouhg George II. Vanderbilt grows
more melancholy every day. He has u
study on the second hoor of his fathers
mansion, which looks ont over Finy-Grst
street, whore lac spends most Of his time.
He is quiet an ! very reserved, and rcso-
lntly shuns society. lie has not attend
ed any of his fathers entertainments
this year. His time is passed entirely
with books, OF which he has large col
lection in his rooms. licaiIey ill-hralth,
aud is the least popular member of the
Vanderbilt family. Most oftbc Nuuder-
bilts are happy. It is said that Georre
is melancholy enough for the whole
lanily. According to reports the youth
has literary aspirations, hut he has as
yet done nothing toward gratifying them.
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08
a BACHELORS REVERE.
IRENE DANA.

My thoughts 20 drifting backward
To a moonlit night ie June,
And family comes the scent OF fioweis
Aud n half remembered tune.
The perfume of those jasmine flowers
You wore upon your breast
Comes back 10 me in quiet hours,
And fills me with unrest
The dreamy waltz you piayed me
Comes creeping To my ears,
wite it's mournful wall of passion.
Its rise and fall of tears.
The golden glow of summer
For me long since is dead;
The mellow autumn shadows
Have fallen ON my head.
The wind and snow of winter
viii reach me none too soon.
For all the glory of my life
Was lost that night In June.
The Call
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08

THAT was bold and fearless speech
YOU made this afternoon on the demon
rum at the convocation.'
Think so?" said the sad Huerferro
man.
ayes you entered into the description
of runs maniac till ] could almost see
the red-eyed centipedes and tropical hor-
nets in the air. How could you describe
the iimiams so graphically"
"Well. YOU see, I'm a reformed drunk
ard. Only little while ago was in the
gutter"
$50 was l. -
How long ago|
Week ago day after tomorrow"
Next day Tuesday itll be a week
since quit
"Well, swan
Amt it funny"
"Tolerably'"
"lt's going TO be long cold winter;
don't you think sop
Yes, dread it good deal
Its comfort, though TO know that
You never will touch rum again
"Yes, | am glad in my heart tonight
that am free from IT, ! shall never
touch rum again
When he said this he looked up at the
other delegate, and they looked into each
others eyes earnestly is though each
would read the Others soul. Then the
Hueferno man said:
In fact | never did care much for
rum
Then there was long pause
Finally the Correjos man yentured:
''Do you have to use antidote to cure the
1 thrst?"
ayes. Pvc had to rely on that good
| deal at first. Probably this vain yearn-
| ing that | now feel in the pit Of he bos.
/ DIN viii disappear after awhile
Have You got any antidotc with your
"Ies, I've some uD in 232 -. Ii YOU
/ will come up III give you dose
There's no rum in 1t, is thereP'
"No."
Then they went up the elevator. They
did not get down to breakfast, bnt at
dinner they stole in The man from
HuerieIno lodged nervously through
the archway leading to the dlning-room
as though he had doubts about getting
through so small a space with his aug
'rented head, and the man from COrreios
looked like one who had wept his eyes
almost blind over the woe that rum has
wrought in eur fair land.
When the waiter asked the delegate
from Correjos for his desert order, the
red nosed Son of lee Water said, Bring
me cup of tea, some pudding without
wine sauce and a piece of min'e pie.
You may also bring me /. cork-screw, II
You please, to pull the bran.y out of the
mnce pie with.
Then the two reformed drunkard-
looked at each other and laughed q
hoarse, bitter and joyful laugh.
At the afternoon session of the Sons
Of lee Water the Ileurfeno delegate
couldn't get his regalia over his head.
o .
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08

Miss >tcmatz Yamanawa is the latc..
Nassar Girl t. get married. She is a ma
tive nj japan, to which country She re-.
turned fo"' wear ago Her husband
: Oyaro lwao. the japanese Minister OF
War
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08

"It's going TO be a long cold winter;
don't you think sop
Yes. ! dread it a good deal
The Osceola times., 1884-03-08
GEoRGE fRANcIs rRAIN,.

madness is undoubtedly of this charac-
ter, and, distrIsting all doctors. he is
treating himself for it. He was getting
along very well until lately, when some
body put it into his head that he ought
to start a newspaper Fo- several wears
he has been familiar figure in Mad son
Square, ana the children and spIrr,ws
day after day flocked about him To be
fed with cakes and candy from his hand.
When the first signs of general paresis
"A defective articulation, caused hy a
partial paralysis of the lips and tongue
appeared, Train perceived that he could
no longer sway audiences by his elo-
quence on the lecture platform, and an
nOunced that for psychological reasons" ."
he had suspended all communications
with his fe'lOw-beings. He afterwards
consented TO talk to the children i'm the
park and to give and receive written
communications. ! have often converS-
ed with him through the medium f
pencil and paper, and until recently his
sentences were relevant and connected.
That he has suffered relapse conse-
quent on the excitement attending his
newspaper project, appears from the fol-
i'Niie 'AiidNl mum ItStHt itttfr ne
sent to the World:
Dana backed square out his 'Ad.'
said England was sick, viii be sick
when No |. comes out) Demons every
where. World reporter will never again
see me in Ashland corner am in attic
never to be interviewed again BY Bone
mia Have now cut off pencil and never
look up. 80 cannot see editors World.
Printers all backed out, Greeley 100000
cash partner was arrested for forgery
{ Put up job to stop paper Reilly backed
square out! Greenbaums News Co. need
said he could not read Mss must charge
two prices Manhattan Printing Com
pany would type if ! would not mention
what cheek. 'COmstockian' or what?
Is it new Bill Tweed John A. Lamb
eighteen months by W. II. b. in Primer
for publishing by Beechcr PRAYER step
ped forward engaged carpenters shop
30 Lex. ave. cor. oath and will issue pa
pers next week. Scab and Rat Office.
Hired union man. Backed out. Paid
i'm. Returned yesterday with gang 10
Gear out Typos. Lamb fired em out
and if interiered with again will blow
head off Of Union Printer who orosses
threshold to dictate TO new Bill Tweed
No Will have 100000 editions"
The men who have been
Connecticut western news., 1884-11-05
A Suggestive Symbol.

A man from Texas, who was travelling through the north, noticed that the usual sign over the doors of savings banks was beehive.
 ''Is beehive the regular sign of a savings bank ?" asked the stranger, of a native whose acquaintance he had made.
 "Yes," was the reply; 'most of the savings banks have the beehive for a sign on account of its appropriateness The depositors, of course, are the bees. They are of at work collecting honey, which they deposit in the hive for their use in winter. The owner of the hive is, of course, the President of the sav- ings bank. When there is as much honey in the bank as he needs, he robs the hive and skips out for Canada with all the available assets. The bees, or de- posltors, buzz around a good deal, but most of them starve and freeze to death during the winter"
 "But who are the drones?"
 ''They are the clerks, who are rela- tives of the President or directors, who draw big salaries, but never do much work"
 "Who is the queen bee?"
 "Oh, she is the female friend of the President of the bank, and usually &C., companies him to Canada. So now you understand the appropriateness of a bee hive being the symbol of the average savings bank. "-Teras Siftings.
Connecticut western news., 1884-11-05
Plymouth Boiled Dinner.

Pick over a quart of large white dried beans and two quarts of samp, and soak them over night in separate vessels, in sufficient cold water to reach three inches above them. The next morning put them over the fire in a saucepan, with three quarts of fresh cold water, and boil them gently until the beans become a pulp; as the water boils away, or is absorbed by the samp and beans, add more from the kettle in which the meat mentioned below is being boiled; when the dinner is done there should be enough water to form soup in con- bination with the beans and samp, and it should be palatably seasoned before it is served. In another large saucepan or kettle put six pounds of lean corned beef, cut from the rump; one pound of fat and lean salt pork, red pepper pod and enough cold water to reach several inches above the meat; place the kettle over the fire and boil it's contents gently, removing all scum as it rises, and re- newing the water as it boils away or is used for the soup of beans and samp; meantime pluck and singe four-pound chicken, draw it without breaking the intestines, wipe it outside with wet towel and truss it for boiling; peel a quart of potatoes and lay them in cold water, and peel and quarter quart of large white turnips and put them in cold water; at the end of two hours put the chicken into the kettle with the meat; in three hours put in the turnips; in three hours and half add the pota- toes. and continue the boiling for half an hour longer; always have enough water to cover all these ingredients and keep it boiling gently. When the din ner is done, serve the soup of beans and salup in a tureen, the beef and pork on one platter, the chicken on another, and the turnips and potatoes in separate vegetable dishes. This dinner has been served in Plymouth. on Forefathers' Day, for several generations.
Connecticut western news., 1884-11-05
TelegraphIng Under Difficulties.

Several old telegraph operators met together, and in the course of Q long conversation told some of their expe- riencos on the frontier. One of them began by recalling the great bullion robbery at Sidney, Nebraska. It was at noon, and most of the depot and stage hands had gene across the yards to din- ner. As the operator sat in the tele- graph office alone, two men presented themselves at his door and demanded admittance. Both had revolvers. He jumped up and let them, in and they quickly bound and gagged him. Be- lieving that he was safe, they disap- peared, and he saw no more of them. As soon as they were out of sight he managed to get to his instrument, and by lying down on the table found that with one of his hands he could reach the key. It was difficult work, but by de- grees he improved his position until finally he raised the Cheyenne office and communicated the fact that a robbery was in progress. The operator at that point kept him posted as to the proceed ing there, and in few minutes he was gratifed to hear the intelligence ticked over the wires that the superintendent and party of detectives were en route for Sidney on special train. The dis tance was 102 miles, but the run was made so rapidly that the people of the town were hardly aware of the robbery before the train dashed in. The operator had by that time been released, and it was found that the thieves, who had been secreted under the depot, had come up through hole in the floor made by removing a board. The bullion weighed about 800 pounds, and, as it was thought that they could not have carried it far, a vigorous search was made near at hand. Before night the greater part of hegold was found in hole under the depot, and the remainder WAS discovered in an ad- joining coal shed, where it had been dropped. The thieves got away with only about SIS, 900 in currency.
Connecticut western news., 1884-11-05
Household Hints and Helps.

Apples that are quite tart are con- sidered a great addition to suet pudding, and will be highly regarded by any one who finds that kind of pudding too rich. A good receipt is here given: One cup of molasses, one cup of sweet milk, two thirds of a cup of suet, chopped very fine, and with every particle of equal size, so that there will be no danger of Jumps, one cup of tart apples peeled and chopped, though not very fine, one cup of raisins also chopped, though not fine: two and half cups of flour is about the right quantity. The mixture should be like cake dough. Mix two teaspoonfuls of baking powder with the flour, spice to your taste, add salt also. Steam for two hours. Serve with any good sauce.
 A small currant cake to be eaten fresh for tea is made of half cup of butter, one cup of sugar beaten together, two eggs, half cup of sweet milk, one and one-haf cups of flour, one teaspoonful and half of baking powder; stir in one cup of well washed, drained, and dried English entrants; if they are not quite dry, sprinkle little flour over them.
 Graham puffs for breakfast are richer and a great deal nicer than the plain gem; take one pint of sweet milk, one pint of graham flour, half teaspoonful of salt, and one egg, beat the egg, then add the milk, and then the -four grad ually, beat it very friskly for four or five minutes, then pour into buttered gem pans; bake in hot oven.
 To make nice breakfast dish of sweet potatoes, parboil them the day before, then in the morning slice them and fry them until brown, in butter, sprinkle pepper and salt over them; cut them lengthwise, so that they will keep their shape.
 While it is conceded by most cooks that winter squash is best when baked, it is always necessary to use judgment about it, for if the squash is very dry it is rendered almost tasteless by baking. In this case it should be steamed.
Connecticut western news., 1884-11-05
s'Thy Sentinel Am I.o

Says an English paper A few weeks ago, on the authority of transatlantic correspondent, narrated story as to how Butler, when 8 Congressman, pro- cured the removal of an aged keeper of a Washington crypt that had never ex- isted. This narrative seems to have aroused the War Office officials of St. James's Park, who within the last fort night have removed 8 sentry who had been for nearly twenty years pacing day by day in front of a small building there, wherein military Board of h. vestigation had once held several meet ings. In Russia the late Emperor Alexander observed 8 sentinel always marching up and down on a grass-plot. Upon inquiry, he discovered that the Empress Catherine had observed an early daisy on the plot, and had re. marked to one of her suite that she hoped it would not be picked. Ever after sen- tinel had kept watch and guarded by night and by day over the plot.
Connecticut western news., 1884-11-05
A BABE IN THE WOODS.
The Adventures of a Little Toddler Ia
 Rough and Rocky Country side.

The quiet hamlet of Blandford WIS the scene on Sunday of an exciting episode. Herbert Cross lives on the road between Blandford Centre and North Blandford. His wife is visiting out of town, and the care of the farm house, with charge of the two-and- a-half-year-old boy, devolves on his mother. The little fellow was in the yard at play on Saturday morning, while his grandmother was busy inside. Having occasion to go to the door the woman missed the child and hunted for him, thinking he might be in mischief. Failing to find him, she feared he had wandered down the road. Being unfit to follow him, she blew the tin horn, summoning the father from the field. Mir. Cross searched the buildings on the premises without finding him. He hur- riedly called his neighbors and the rumor of child lost spread till party of nearly 100 assembled during the afternoon to join the search. Many of them took lanterns and torches and followed their quest till midnight. The only trace of child was plaything or two in a rye stubble field near the house, When midnight came and the child had not been found, the father gave up hope of seeing him again alive. The boy had an attack of croup the night before and it seemed reasonable to conclude that he could not survive day and night of exposure. When the neighbors abandoned the search soon after mid night, they took teams and spread the news through Beckett and Chester.
 When the sun rose Sunday the volun- teers, 150 sturdy hillsmen, set ont to SCOUT the woods and fields and brooks. They formed themselves in line, the men but ten feet apart, and thus ad- vanced, carefully noticing every rock and log behind which the little wanderer might have lain down to die. All the long forenoon, with its frequent showers, the column worked it's way further from the homestead. Soon after noon, as they were thinking to redouble their energies in view of the approaching night, that part of the line which was about one mile from the starting point, suddenly came upon the boy, not dead, as they expected to find him, but tod ding along the wooden mountain side, with an apple in one hand and bunch of pretty autumn leaves in the other. He was all right, and there was rejoicing tbrouohout Rlandford H1rffor6l Times
Connecticut western news., 1884-11-05
Why NOt2

He sat with his back to carpenter shop in the alley, bootblack's kit beside him, knees drawn up, and as the snow- squalls came booming along be had to suspend his reading for the moment and shiver.
 He was lad of thirteen, and he was reading a novel entitled ''Bertha's Se- cret." Some of the words he had to stop and spell out, and others he skipped entirely, but he was deeply in- terested, and even begrudged the time it took to raise his hand to his red nose and wipe away the tear there oft sus- pended.
 A fourth-story window in the block on the other side was cautiously raised, and head showed itself over the sill. It lodged back, to reappear in a mo- ment, followed by an arm and basin of water. All of a sudden the boy awoke to a realizing sense that every drop of that water had hit him some where. He sprang up, rushed this way and that for moment, and then under standing that he had been made the vic tim of a joker, he raised his clenched hand to the open window and exclaimed:
 Beware of my revenge You have a daughter. I will win her love. The marriage eve shall be set, and you shall have issued invitations, engaged tho preacher and ordered big spread. The bride will be ready and the guests will wait; but ah they shall wait in vain I'll skip the gutter I wont show up I'll give you the cold shake, and don't you gulp to gurgle that won't r-De- troft Free Press.