The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1884-10-01
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Facts, Fancies and OonceIts Picked From
fferc and There.

Facts, Fancies and OoncsIts Picked From
Hero and There.
BARRIERS never give away their shay.
ings." We believe the only things they
ever give away are their opinions.
Peru groans because she has two preai
dents and is overrun with thieves. In this
country We only have one President.
Baltimore wife of five years experience
sues for divorce because she has discovered
that her husband has negro blood in his
veins. m
Montreal policemen are required to speak
both English and French. In this country
the club Is the most necessary thing for q
policeman to understand.
Pa, why does a man break n promise
80 readily 2" asks the Prince of Bob Bur.
dette. g Because, my son, it is SO easy to
make another one," replies the philosopher.
Your manner is very shocking" said
the lady to the tramp. "Ah," replied tho
tramp, you noticed it, did you? That's
my personal magnetism. Burlington
HaWkeye.
Mrs. Van Colt, the revivalist has been
engaged in her special work for nineteen
years. She is now in her fifty-fourth year,
and says that she ia the spiritual mother of
$1,000 souls.
Our navy, says the atlanta Constitution,
is in the happy possession of seven admirals,
eleven cammodores and twenty-six captains
to each gallant vessel Our government eyi.
IDENTIFY means business.
1t is considered huiniliating for Mexican
gentleman, to be caught on the street with
bundle in his hand, says correspondent.
real gentleman always lets his wife carry
the bundles in the streets.
A fashion paper, in describing watering
place bellies attire recently, said she wore
carbuncles, and now that poor girl gets 800
different recipes for tho cure of boils in
every mall Washington Ratchet.
Scottish lasses are, it appears, to have tho
benefit of more general and systematic in
struction in cookery. There are now thirty
six schools in Scotland, in which cookery is
taught, which number are about to be large
ly increased.
Pa" asked a little Austin boy, "Shni
do You call those long hairs on the cats
mouth ?" =" believe they are called feel
ers" suppose thoy are called foeler.
because the cat feels it so much when you
pull them out. " Teas Sitliags.
A young man travelling by stage coach
broke up the monotony of the journey by
kissing young lady who was fellow pas
senger He quieted her indignant objections
by explaining that it was only stage kiss
and, therefore, merely conventional.
1t is said that the use of tobacco paralyzos
the heart and estranges man from his
wife. But when tho wife becomes o.
tranged from tho husband, +" asks tho Detroit
Free Press, what paralyzes the sympa-
thetic nerve then ~ 1t is usually some
other man in that case.
w. W. Corcoran, tho millionaire banker
and philanthropist of Washington, Is said
to be exceedingly proud of his ancestry He
giories in the fact that his father was only
poor, honest shoemaker, and he treasures
the old cobbler's-shop sign-board among
his choicest possessions
A trade paper is authority for the state
ment that 5000, 1884, 900 pins arc annually
made in this country. Considering the mum.
bers of stray pins that the average married
man picks up In his wife's chamber in the
course Of year, the quantity above given
would seem grossly underestimated.
What do you mean by disturbing me at
this hour of the night ?" asked an Austin
doctor, angrily, of q darkey who woke him
mp at three o'clock in the morning. " I jess
thought, boss, dat as yer was busy yer
didn't hab time to tend ter poor folks in de
day, 30 / lowed I'd jess drap in after sup
PERI eras Sytiags.
A magnificent waterspout was seen on the
st. Lawrence River, at Port Neuf, during q
severe thunder storm recently. 1t was fully
formed, and afforded spectacle seldom
seen except at sea. During its continuance
it moved down the river upward Of two
miles, when it parted opposite Point Platoon
The rain descended in torrents Immediately
afterward.
The London workingwomen's Coopera-
tive Association has opened shop ip which
it sells articles of dress made by women who
work eight hours o day at fair wages, and
sell them as low rs they can be bought OF
other shops when made by ill-paid and
overworked women. This Is done by dis
pensing with tho services of middlemen
who often lower the prices without thu
> knowledge of either the retail or the whole
sale dealers, and it has been of great bene.
1T to many workingwomen.
Mr.. Thomas Z. Jones, of Round Valley
near Inyo. Arkansas, hos about thirty acres
of ponds stocked with carp. He brought
the first carp into Inyo County, carrying
the young fishes in barrels in wagon from
San Bernadino county, three years ago, and
was six days making tho return trip, travel
ing mostly at night, and succeeding in saw
ing only 300 out Of the 400 with which he
set out. His ponds are now full of fish.
Before using the carp, they are taken from
the pond and kept few days in q large
tank Of cold, clear water. This makes the
meat firm, and leaves it without the objec-
tionable muddy taste.
A Fair Exchange.
Nettlewalah ought to be killed withoo,