Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-11-18
BRIGHT BITS.

THERE are some eolored gentlemen who
don't want to 60 back into slavery because 1.
slavery times their wives couldn't supPOL,'
them bytakingin washing.-C0Hrier-J0Erndt.
IRIS knotty. but it's not nice" said a horse
thief in Montana, as he cast q cursOFL glance
at the necktie s. committee were ABOUT 70
present 10 him. at is warranted to look well
on a choker.m was the reply, "and Will NJ any
neck."-Pecks SE1.
A GRADUATE from Vassar has published a
book entitled "HOw to Make Bread" Alady
who followed the directions is very much
pleased. She uses the lOaves to put against
the doors. They look better than caTpeted
bricks and are much heavler.-B0st0H Post.
EOCTOR-"Well, how are we to-day Pa
tient-'O. I've had a miserable day, QOctor.
DactOr-"But your wife says you haven't
gro ned at all to-day, while yesterday -
Patient-"GOOd reason; thought there wasn't
ANYBODY round. That woman Is always TAX
ing an unfair advantage OF me.'-b0sfCR
Transcript.
NEW HAMPSHIRE has no motto. 1t ought to
be keen an YOU can get" New Hampshire
folks are stingv: everybody knows that; but
hOW's this: "a farmer bought a ~ooo-h
file to sharpen his cows nose 50 II c0ulu Craze
between the stones. and then kicked because
the file ouldn work. The COW Kicked.
too .'-BrO0k1RH Times.
LOOK HEAH\RansOm.r said An old negro
to a Young fellow, i dOan' min yer 'sOcIatin'
Wid my daughter, but l d ruther yer Wouldn
come roun' my house no mo-. Time lore o3
las what yer wus heah l missed er water
bucket. an de las time De bride wus fone.
an now. ez l has q use for de saddle, l 0rutner
yer wouldn't come heah. l don say dat yer
amt homes for / bleDes yer Is; but such culs
things happens while yer is IN the nelghboF-
hood. So, les ter please er ole man, Wnat
amt enjOvln' very good health. please uoah-
come rOun' dis house no
I~rGTelsr.
ALADY in Cosevtown discovered 4 mouse
Il - thu FauFTv Haur barrpl- She summoned ncr
husband and told him to get a gun anu can
the dog and station himself near the scene OF
onslaught. Getting up on a high ehalr she
commenced punching the Hour barrel win j
uole The poor mouse soon made its appear
ance and started across the nOor, the dOs IN
mediately in pursuit. In the excitement the
man fired the gun. killing the oog' anu lLe
lady tainted and fell OF the chair. Inc man,
thinking that she was dead and learns arrest
for murder, cleared out and has not been
heard of since. The mouse escapeI.-H0s
days5Grg Standard.
TIE song OF THE GOSSIP
One old maid.
And another old maid.
And another old maid-thats three
And they were q gOssiping, I'm afraid,
As they sat slipping their tea.
They talked Of this,
And they talked Of that,
In the usual gossiping way.
Until every one was a black as your hat.
And the only white ones were they.
one old maid,
Add another old maid
For the third had gone into the street
Who talked in q way Of that third old maii
Which would never do to repeat.
Aud now but one
Dame sat all alone,
For the others were both away.
1--WE never vet met" she said, with a groan,
such scandalOus takers as they
ALAS! and alack!
We're all of a PACK!
For no matter how we talk,
or what folk say TO our face, our back
Is sure to breed gossip and talk"
-Hdrper's Young Pe0pie.