Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-31
How the FashionabIy Constructed
Girl Climbs a Fence

Did you ever see girl trying to climb
fence? 1t is more of show than n
circus with whitewashed elephant.
This is the way she does it:
First she looks around to find out
whether anybody is in sight. Then, if
the coast is clear, she puts one foot on
the second rail of the fence, and looks
around again. Then she gives little
hop and gets her other foot upon the
second rail. Here she stops for .
moment to rest and straighten her hat.
The next maneuvre is the critical
one--to get one foot over the top rail
She steadies herself for q moment, then
gives q quick little upward kick that
does not quite reach the mark, but
causes her to jump down on the ground
again with 4 tiny scream and tuck her
clothes in all around her. Again she
surveys the surrounding country and
again hops upon the second rail.
This time she is bolder and throws
her foot clear to the top Of the fence,
where it catches by the heel on the top
rail. 1t IS now or never with her then
something must be done instanter.
Grasping the top rail with all her
might she pulls herself up till she sits
astraddle of the fence, with the land
scape spread out beneath her like a
map. If anybody appears in sight she
just drops off the fence as if she had
been shot, and gathers herself up when
she gets there.
If the coast continues clear, she pro-
ceeds in q very leisurely manner to get
down on the other side of the fence.
First she turns around, facing the way
she came, and feels backward with the
foot which is already over the fence fox
q good, steady, reliable rail. Having
found such q rail, she plants herself
upon it and sets to work to get the
other foot over the fence.
This is q very difficult and embarrass-
ing piece OF strategy, and q good many
girls will sit on the top of a fence half
day before they will attempt it.
Some will even stay there TIL horrid
man comes along and lifts them off
Not so the truly courageous girl-she
who is no more afraid to climb fence
than to sit in the same room with q
mousetrap. She will never give up
the fort till she gets off that fence in the
ancient and honorable manner of her
sex.
She grasps the top rail and leans as
far back as her arms will allow, and
then tries to coax the refractory limb
over after her. Alas, it is too long, and
she jumps back a-straddie, with a
little laugh, and tucks her skirts
around her again. After brief rest
she tries another wrinkle. She lies
down flat on her face on the top rail
and tries to slide off sideways, as she
has often seen her little brother do.
This would be well enough, and
would place her on terra firma again,
if she only had the courage to carry
out her intention. But just as she is
about to slip off pallid fear seizes her.
She screams, rights up, and straddles
the fence once more.
This kind of thing continues for five
or ten minutes. Then the fair acrobat
begins to get wrothy. She looks at
the ground, only three or four feet
away, and makes up her mind she will
reach it some way or die. Die she will
have to, some time, anyway.
SO she settles ner hat on her head
with determined look, steps back on
the reliable rail, and with a mighty
efforts draws back her other foot to
the very edge of the top rail, like an
archer drawing an arrow to the head.
O, if it only were not for that French
heel she would be free But, alas, it
holds her there with the dull per-
sistency of fate. A look of terror and
despair comes over her countenance;
her eyes stick out like buttons. She
gives quick backward leap and lets
90.
What surprise, what delight! She
finds herself alighting, right side up
with care, on the soft turf, without so
much az a feather jostled in her hat
She can't imagine how it happened so.
She fully expected to be picked up a
complete wreck and carried home to
die among her sorrowing friends.
But now she is really safe and sound
upon the dear old earth again she looks
up with unspeakable gratitude to the
clear blue sky; then, brushing her
skirts and beating them out SO that
they will hang straight, she vows that,
should she ever have occasion to 90
'cross lots again she will either 90 in a
balloon or else have q young man along
to pull down the fence.