davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
The WAY II Worked.

A man came into the Sun office Ola
Monday who was a sight to behold.
He was total wreck from drunken
ness His clothes were torn, his nose
was red, and he looked like picture
often seen in the galleries, represent
ing a demoralized drunkard He hand
ed dirty slip of paper to the editor, a
clipping from newspaper, and said,
"That's what it did to me-" The edi-
tor read it, and it was as follows:
One gallon contains an average of
sixty-five drinks, and at ten cents
drink, the poor man pays sc. so per
gallon for his whisky. In other words,
he pays $500 for the whisky and 81. so
to the man for handing it over the
bar. Make your wife your barkeeper
Lend her $500 to buy gallon of
whisky for beginning, and every
time you want drink, go to her and
pay ten cents for it. By the time you
have drank a gallon she will have
Sc. So or enough money to refund the
$500 borrowed of you, to pay for
another gallon of whisky and bal
ance of 50 So She will be bile to con
duct future operations on her own
capital, and when you become an inc
briate, unable to support yourself,
stunned and despiSed b; all respecta-
BILE persons, your wife will be able to
keep you until you get ready to fill a
drunkard's grave.
''I read that in your paper two years
ago" said the man in a husky voice,
"and | have been trying il"
"Well, how did it work?" asked the
editor.
Splendid" said the man, as he re
placed the slip of paper in his pocket.
"Oply the old woman don't carry out
her part of the programme. She has
been running the bar, and has taken
in all my money, and has laid it up,
and put it out at interest, and now
that | am busted and out of health
she wants me to go west and grow up
with the country. She refuses to
support me, as the paper said she
would, and l am a wreck. What
would you do2"
The editor told him he was in no
worse fix than he would be if he had
spent the money at dozen different
saloons, and his wife was better off.
If he had spent the oney the usual
way both would have gone to the
poor house, and now he could go alone
and feel that his wife was comfortably
fixed for life. The man went out
with lool, on his face as though he
was thinking, and he was, for he has
decided to quit drinking and go to
work, and his wife has decided that
he can stay at home and enjoy the
savings-Peck's Sun.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
How Statesmen's Wives Watch Their
Lords from the Galleries.

1t was In order to limit the space
which loafers of most Objectionable
character used daily to fill in the
house gallery several years ago that
the house of representatives decided
to set apart certain portions of the gal
lery to be reserved for those who had
cards of admission thereto, given
them by the members One gallery
is exclusively for the families of rep.
resentatives or those whom they and
their wives regard as such.
One representative said at the time
it was decided to reserve this gallery
that it was done so the members could
know exactly in which part of the
gallery their wives were likely to be,
so they would know which way to
dodge if they wished to avoid their
gaze. When lent comes, as they have
more leisure from social duties, ladies
of the families of members of both
houses of congress have more time to
spend in the galleries of the house or
senate, and wives are often interested
spectators of scenes upon the floor of
either chamber. Some of them become
much absorbed IN watching the fate
the bills in which their husbands
take special interest and their
faces show their chagrin or
triumph in the coarse of the debate.
One of them, whose husband had
been suffering severely with bronchi-
tbs when he was forced to go to the
House to look after bill.of great i'm
portance in his district, used to go
there daily q few weeks ago while
there was prospect for the bill COM
ing up, and carried with her a box of
quinine pills, and regularly sent from
her seat in the members gallery an
affectionate note and a dose of the
medicine to her husband on the floor
of the House when the time arrived
for him to take it Thus she strove
to brace him up for the contest In the
same spirit as Spartan wives equipped
their husbands for battle. The day
his bill was voted down she had
waited for several hours with satchel
the pill-box in hand, and
as soon rs the vote was announced,
which was against her husband, she
rose Indignantly. packed up the
medicine, and went home with less
ened faith In its bracing effects
Tie wives, of course, do net fail to
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
What they Had for Dinner.

"Oh, myf" exclaimed little Tommy
Blower, who was visiting his Aunt
the other afternoon. You Just
ought to know what we had for dim
ner to-day:"
'Roast beef?" suggested his Aunt.
'Nowpm replied Tommy.
Pork and beans?" again queried
his Aunt.
''Nswp! worse than that" said
Tommy.
at vast chicken or pot pie, or
oysters?" again asked his Aunt
"Oh! no; you're way off," replied
Tommy. 1T was the new minister"
And his Aunt tainted dead away at
the very thought Of If.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
A Peerless Woman.

But I do not see anything extra
ordinary in that lady on the left side
platform, !" said visitor to the exhib-
itor at dime museum
Nothing extraordinary! She's the
greatest curiosity in the institution. p"
Indeed! What has she donel"
''She always knew what she wanted
to buy at dry goods store, never
troubled the clerk to show her goods
she didn't need; never screamed at
the sight of a mouse; never made a
rag carpet or a crazy quilt; never
swept her husbands overcoat away
for China ornament,-and was once
known to say Thank you to man
who stepped off narrow sidewalk to
let her pass! There isn't her equal in
the whole world and Rhode Island y
-EUdnsriLle Argus.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Doing an Errane.

Hello. old man, said gentleman
to a friend whats that you've got
under your coatfn
That was the sad reply, as he
brought it forth, lis my wife's little
pug dog"
What are you going to do with
hima Take him somewhere and
drown him2'
Il wish might, earnestly respond
ed the gentleman, fetching sigh.
No, | am not going to drown him.
Ny wife is having new spring suit
made to harmonic with Beauty, as
she is pleased to call the disgusting
little brute, and am on my way to a
ry-goods store to match him for half
yard more of material"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
A Woman Gambler.

"What man has done man may do, "
has long been favorite maxim of the
moraIists and the opy-books, but it is
reserved for the philosophy of the min
ing camp to demonstrate that what
man has done woman may do also. "
Amid the general din of the saloon,
says correspondent, and rising above
the general confusion, the clink of
glasses against bottles, and the tink-
ling sound of ivory chips may be
heard the words: Queen high, p"
pair kings" ''bets two BEANS" and
the like uttered in a soft but penetrat-
ing voice which attracts one on enter
ing the door. Making my way to a
path cautiously through a pack Of
men, / saw remarkable sight Be-
fore one of the ordinary poker-tables
sat woman of no ordinary beauty.
The traces of refinement had not yet
been obliterated by coarse associations
and reckless dissipation. She was
dressed IN a tight fitting gown, fitting
about the bust like the waist of > rid
ing habit. and adorned with double
row of staring gilt buttons. On her
head was jaunty jockey cap of blde,
out its little visor shaded face whose
delicate lines and marked Individual
ty would In any other place have Sc
cursd for its possessor immediate no
tice as a cultivated, intellectual pow
er. Yet, there she sat, dealing the
cards with graceful ease born evil
IDENTIFY of long practice in similar
scenes. Careless of the rough talk and
ribald jokes of the men the female
gambler dealt the cards, raked In the
chips, paid losses, replied to the sallies
Of the men, and attended to business
with devilish insouciance and calm
ness which was Simply EorrIble. A
more painful sight / never saw, for
there was a refinement of wickedness
about the scene which robbed il Of the
vileness of the slums and invested that
womaa In the corner of a mining
camp gam bling house with horror
which was simply satanical-
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Many who long suffered from iudescribable fee
mgs of distress lame back, aching joints sores
SwcllingS weakness of the urinary and digestive
organs, unnatural feelings of WEAKNESS headache
nervousness, deSpondeucy, SleepleSSneSS, disturb
ms dreams, partial insanity, etc, after doctoring
liver, kidneys, nerves and brain, with the various
9uack noStrums of the day, and being nearly
frightened To death by their alarming advertise
mentS, quietly began us ng DR.. Guysntt's Yellow
Dock and Sarsaparilla, and were agrecsbly sur
priSed to quickly find themselves restored to ner
feet health. No otLer remedy equals it.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Felt Like Cattle.
breakfast Table.

First Bummer-"Good mornin'.
Ike. How do you feel this fine day n
Second Bummer-'T feel like q
mooley steer
First Bummcr-''Why. what's the
cause of such gloomy feelin'sin
Second hummer Because I'm
obliged to go without horn
They went into saloon then, and
when they came out they resembled
horned cattle.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Bear, said: NY vessel is nearly
ready for sea- We are completing
the boats, and when we get the coal
and provisions in we are ready to
start for st. John. After taking in
more coal there we shall proceed
north, hoping to reach Disco Island
by the middle of May. We shall
sail from here ON April pa, and the
Thetis will follow about ten days
afterMard. y
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Donst You Bolt.

pom suffer any logger with the pairs aud ache
Of Rhcumati>m, which make life burden
YOU. Rcn speedy and permanent cau In pro
cured at the nearest drug store. i'll IT,. form ~
Kidney Wat. E!bridgs Nalr5ln OF West Bath
Name says: 4 was completely Frustrated with
Pected To recover The first dose of Kidney
Wort hrlred me. Six doses put me my feet il
mas now entirely cured me, and have had no
trouble Sine. -
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
,Ihc Rr>f KnIirr Colo

The great uRaNinlity with which dajrymru "
high reputation have aiopted in preference ~
anything else. the Improved Batter Color made
by Wells Richardson \ Co. of Darlington, Vt,
IS remarkable 1t shows that the claims Of nuita
tive coors are haSeleSS; wise dairyIuen viii use
30 nt her
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
ON THE BRIDGE OF sIGHs.

II chances once to overy soul
Within narrow hour of doubt and dole
Upon Life's Bridge of Signs TO stand.
"a palace and prison on each hand.
Oh. palace Of the rose hearts hue!
How ike n flower the warm light rails ron
you!
oh, prison with the hollow eyes
Beneath your stony glare no flowers arise,
oh, palace Of the rose sweet sin.
How safe the heart that DOES not enter in!
oh, blesset prison walls, How true
The freedom OF the soul that chooseth you!
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Nine hundred and eighty,four men
enlisted in the navy last year.

NO woman eau live without SOME share OF
physical suffering; but many accept as inevitable
. great amount Of pain which can be avoided.
LYDIA Z, Pln&hamS Vegetable Compound WAS in
tie rare skill to provide a simple, yet admirably
etfectlye ranlehv
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Would Let Him Starve.
Arkansas Traveller.

Arkansas Traveller
Look heah, said old Andrew to
'Guines Niger Dan, who is yer
wife on dis present 'casion?"
Merry Potter"
Putty good 'omani"
Does tolerable."
Fetch anything inter de house9n
''Oh, vas
wall, OATS de kinder oman Use
lookin' fur. De wimmen what Use
been in de habit o marryin' is so lazy
dat dad let er man starb ter death.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Iowa County Democrat
MINERAL POINT, WIS.
sLANDER.

Twas but a breath
And vet the fair good name was wllted,
And friends once fond grew cold and stilted
And life was worse than death.
One venomed word,
That struck its coward, poisoned blow,
In craven whispers, hushed and low
And yet the Wide world heard.
Twas but one whisper-one,
That muttered low, for very shame,
The thing the slanderer dare not name
And yet its work was done.
4 hint so slight,
And yet so mighty In its power.
A human soul ia one short hour
Lies crushed beneath its blight
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
scIy's Cream I.aI,n il

Ely's Cream balm is doing won ters ,
9uNlSe sufferers from Catarrh to Law other RENE
dies aside. believe it is the only remedy that
VIII cure thlS terrible disease, from which have
suffered twenty yearS-CHARLES t;kRRtRa, ~
ShMe Merchant, So Broad st. Newark, \ j
Price SO cents per bottle -
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
American Art.

Photographs, EnsravingS etc, can be exquisite
ly colored with Liquid Art ColorS made from pia
mond Dyes Full directions for this beautiful ant
work, with q handsome colored cabinet photo SeuI
TO any address for 10 cents WELLS \ RICH.
ARDSoN CO, Burlington, VT
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
A circus in the West adverties The
only coal-black sacred elephant ever
seen in captivity"
e - o.
Ela.DOrEaIll

When you visit or leave New York city save
baggage expressage and carriage hire and stoI
at the GRAND UNION HOTEL, opposite Crane
Central depot; $50 elegant rooms, fitted up at O
cost of one million dollars, reduced to 81 and up
ward per day. European plan. Elevator. Res
stages and elevated railroad to all depots. Fam
lilies can live better for less money at the Grand
Union Hotel than at any other hrst- class hotel il
the city.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

\ San Francisco hackman is being
sued for $40, 5S5 damages by a man
whom he knocked down and ran over
with his hack.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

According to the Constitution,
society In Atlanta. Ga, is giving eyi-
Eence t.1at it demands greater intellI-
gence and a higher education to meet
its requirements.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Gambetta's grave is still covered
with funeral wreaths, and bushels OF
visiting cards are placed on his grave
stone.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Having used Ely,S Cream Balm for Catarrh
ana Cold in the Head, l am Sls'Si,sltnat II Is q
hrS.-rate preparation and wouli recommend
1t 20 anyone atfecte3.-R, W. Cussvee. Eli
tor Herald, Clinton, Wis prize ~. Ser
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Herbert Spencer's health is failing,
and has been advised to take a long
trip abroad. He will goto Australia
and New Zealand.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
CATAR r II
American College Song Book.

Collection OF the Songs Of 80 representative Amer
lean Colleges. One can hardly imagine Songs frcsher
and brighter than these ~ in number, and all newly
contributed hy the colleges In question including Vas
Sar and Wellesley. There is average OF songs from
each college. Price 500.
Also published, Carmns Collegensia $500 tniyer-
sity Songs, $50, and Students Life IN Song, slA.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

We have S91 eonsulates, aud the
fees they gather more than pay their
expenses. Last year the surplus was
over $4,000.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

General Gordon is said to be the
only Christian who is prayed for in
the mosques at Mecca.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

John Wannamker, the eminent
Philadelphia merchant, conducts a
Bible class numbering 225.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Throat Diseases commence with Cough
Cold or Sore Throat ''BrOuHS Bronchial
TrochcS" give immediate relief Sold only nl
borrS. Price . cents
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

a crew of handsome muscular sea
men has been selected for the Presi-
dents barge, to be kept on the Dis
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Bustles as big as small balloon
deform the female form divine this
spring.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

1t is predicted that Northern Ne
braSka will one day in the not far
future be the finest blue grass region
in the world.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

DIR. Sanfords Liver Invigorator vegetable
Try it when gentle cathartic action is needed.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

Public speakers and singers use Piso's Cure for
hoarseness and weak lungs
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Pulmonary Cn,.u,,n,,on

There are twenty eight direct heirs
TO the succession to the British throne.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25

DEAR SIR:-I received the trial bottle of your
White Wine of Tar Syrup, which you sent to my
address. My wife has been troubled with a hung
disease for more than eighteen years, and was
pronounced to be last January in the last stages
Of Pulmonary Consumption She commenced
taking your valuable medicine and received re
lief at once. She has used three bottles since aud
is using the fourth, and her health is better
chan for many years. We cheerfuly recommend
it to all afflicted with any trouble Of the throat or
lungs We now get our medicine through John
Potter our merchant at this place.
Yours Respectfully, REV. j. y. Fly
Brookline Station, No. SusANE. Fly.
Green County, Wis, has forty
eight lImburger cheese factories.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
CAN SEE AN IcE-FLoE

coming miles away. By saving out a
large space on one side OF the foe be-
side which the vessel is moored or is
sailing, they can make a dock into
which the vessel can be warped. The
two foes expend their power on each
other, while the ship rides In safety In
the open space. Commander Schley
will not depend on the slow
work of the saw In case of immediate
danger from nip between
foes, but viii use, for the first time in
the history of Arctic expeditions,
gun cotton cartridges for blasting out
his harbors. A train for the cartrid-
ges, which fare about 24x3i inches
large, can be laid around space 200
feet long By 60 wide IN very few
minutes. Electricity viii explode the
cartridges and pulverize the ice in
stantly, and then theyessel can steam
into her harbor without difficulty.
Each vessel viii carry 1000 cartrid
ges-
Commander Schley has personally
supervised the preparations for the
expedition, and has expressed his
satisfaction with the work done.
When Questioned by friend the
other day as to the prospects of sue
cess, he said: Il expect that we will
find Mr.. Greely. We viii have to
stay until we do.
Captain Emery, commander Of the
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-25
Miss Kitty Blewsby,

Bishop sternly; and having comfort
him self with the reflection he locked
up the letterin his drawer, and then
the dressing bell rang.
Julian was very pleasant and bright
that day at dinner. He told his
father old Oxfsrd stories, insisted on
pledging him in the old AZ, and when
he ran off to read Che never went to
the theatre now, he dropped into the
drawing-room and ran his fingers
lightly over the keys of the Erard.
The Bishop heard the music as he sat,
broobng and melancholy and re-
morseful, in the room below; for all
that he hardened his heart like
Pharaoh, an d would not let the letter
go, because lit was for the best"--a
bit of Jesuitical casuistry that he
nevertheless derived but small com
fort from. 1t required much more
Pharaoh-like flintiness to endure
Julian's first anxious, and then dis
appeared. face when the early post
next morning, and several successive
posts for the next two days, failed to
bring him something he evidently
looked for. The inquiry: ANY
thing for me, father2" and the invaria-
bic answer: Nothing, Julian" be
came little ira yedy, i'll which the
Bishop felt he was cast for first
murder" and he was by no means
easy in the part.
The piano was never opened now,
and Julian stuck to his work quietly
aud pluckily. At last he was duly
called" and won the e100 prize
given by his Inn for an essay upon
Probate and Divorce as Practiced by
the Early Aryan Races" He never
slackened work for moment but
went to court every day, and still
preserved the same quiet mysterious
manner that so baffied and worried
the Bishop. His fun seemed to have
all evaporated, and ia its place he
had purpose. His father had bad
time of it-passed slceeless nights,
and even went so far as to read the
essay on Probate ami Divorce.
Once he suggested in playful fashion
to Julian that now that he was on
the high road to the Woolsack, it was
time for him to look aboutand settle, :"
but he only ELECTED rather solemn
Don't let's talk of that subject,
father and felt snubbed.
1t was clear TO the Bishop that he
had succeeded in alternating Julian'S
affection for Kitty; but he certainly
never meant to makea confirmed ms
ogynist and bigeted bachelor of
him, and this was seemingly what
had happened, for dancing Belgravia
knew him no more.
1T was precisely az 9:45 on the
evening that has been so much talked
of that the Bishop was stroiling home
after attending the great conference
that met to discuss the long vexed
question concerning Archidiaconal
Functions. He had once been an
Arch deacon himself, and he sympa-
thized with the rather vague position
of the Very Reverends, and he was
really rather pleased with the resolu-
ton he had proposed making CATERS
and broad brims obligatory on them
as class, although dear old Sawdust
and Bran "a brother Bishop had so
stoatly opposed it, ON the ground that
The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current, 1884-05-31
A WISE SELECTION.

We believe it has not yet been reported
in the columns of the CH1EF that at recent
meeting of the Directors of the Louisiana
State University and Agricultural and
Mechanical College at Baton Rouge,
President j. W. Nicholson rendered his
resignation, to take effect at the close of
the present session, whereupon Col. D. F..
Boyd was unanimously elected President
of the institution. In common with nearly
all the friends of the University, We are
much gratifed to know that Col. Boyd is to
resume the position he filled for many
years with distinguished efficiency. AS our
esteemed contemporary, the Assumption
Pioneer, justly says: "Col Boyd may be
called the father of the University, for he
gave his time and talents to the institution
when it's fortunes were at q very low ebb
and greatly assisted in making it popular
throughout the State" The Colonel has
been for some time at the head of the
Alabama State University, but has agreed
to relinquish that post to return to his first
love, the Louisiana institution. Prof
Nicholson, under whose admirable admin
istration our University has materially
prospered, prefers his former position as
Professor of Mathematics to that of Presi-
dent, and we doubt not that he and all his
colleagues of the faculty will be glad to
have their former President and esteemed
co-worker again with them.