The Evening critic., 1884-08-21
MISCELLANY.

me Ice cream wave mas come.
Prairie chicken shooting Is now In order.
queen Victoria has recently made new Will.
There is place in Dakota namod Steele. II
10 probably hard town.
We wonder II the election ''soap" Is made
from tho campaign I've.
Flies must be expert mathem a.icans, judg-
ing from tho way they multiply.
Burglars now give q serenade In front OF q
house while their pals work tho rear.
Tho peace of God and the malignity OF woman
are two things that pass all understanding.
IL 10 said that quiet eyes denote self com.
mand. Como TO think OF IL, 30 does quiot
mouth.
A New York bank presidents wife calls her
husband "Honey." This may be because he Is
in cell.
What is wanted from tho Bankers conven-
ton Is u code OF directions TO bank directors
how to direct.
"a fair exchange Is no robbery" says an old
saw, but OF course this does not have any rcfer.
ence 10 church fairs.
A band of American girls, wearing hobnailsd
shoes and armed with Alpenstocks, are tramp
ing through Germany.
Arthur misses point In neglecting to claim
the splendid wheat crop this year as one OF tho
fruits or his administration,
Since tho earthquake many timid people
have taken out accident policies. 1t Is an Ill
quake that shakes nobody any good.
Having been sent book, entitled 'summer
POEMS" after careful scrutiny we have de-
Berlin ocullsts report that the Iron dust
nonting fom elevated railroads in streets has
added per cent. TO tho profits OF tho pro-
fession.
An article on silk culture says: "a young
lady in Philadelphia has over $500 worms"
she-but let us draw veil over the terrible
picture
New servant: "oh, II you haven't any chill
dren can't come, because whenever anything
is broken there Will be no one TO blame It on
but me-"
The Duchess of Albany's baby is n delicate
bit OF n thing, without royal blood enough to
tide II over the common Ills Of babyhood, 1t Is
feared.
Recitation in moral philosophy; Professor
"What has n mother IN view when she spanks
an iucorrigiple child" Nassar grl-rises,
bushes and sits down.
"why am like n lemonY she asked, and
then she expected him 10 say, "Because you
are being squeezed" but he didn't. He said ;
because you are sour"
champaign lies," did you sayY No, sir; Just
| Mt this moment tho campaign Is not lying. Sho
ia standing on her back hind legs and madly
paving the air,
The Greedy survivors arc fairly entitled to
some monetary recognition by the Govern
| ment, but the Washington sharks should DO
| carefully excluded from the grab.
Two baseball clubs In Milwaukee are known
by the names OF the "potato Bugs" and
| "COckroaches." The former were recently
| beaten 10 o by the "Paris Green's"
Certain portions OF the Alps have been COW
| cred with snow this summer TO an unprece-
| dented extent. Not only did tho winter snow
not melt but fresh supply fell In July.
''No," she said, "thore is no deception about
me. When my trst husband died l didn't
take on like sick calf. II must be q calamity
| of come sort before mako amy fuss"
| Cucumbers, after all, have use, despite the
| blasts which doctors have fred against thom
/ Sliced and bound over freckles they will I'm
| time, II is said, remove those biomlshes OF
| beauty.
How funny things work around Sin brought
| clothes into the world, aud II It were not for
| sin nobody would go 10 church, for had II not
been for Gin there would be no clothes to sho
there.
The supply OF woman teachers for tho Eng
| gllsh schools under the school board is un'
| equal TO the demand. The dearth OF assistants
| Y, TO some extent due TO 80 many glylng up
mo school desk for matrlmony.
why Is that cup OF tea like truthT asked
me mead OF tho family, pointing TO tho cup OF
| tea by the side OF his plate. "re.heel" giggled
his wifei don't know. why 10 lt2" ''Bscause
| IT'S my tea, and VIII prevail" Then his wife
looked sorrowful, and asked him what no had
been drinking,