Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-11-20

penSe, excitement and confusion. said
then that never again would l thought
lessly tamper with the peace and happl-
ness Of my country, though all my pOlit-
ical foes went bareheaded and had to
pick up stubs for my personal smoking
all the days of our respective and re-
spected lives.
PAID MY BET.
went to the halter with my friend
and had his head blocked for special
order. His blocked head fairly swan
with Joy when told him l was going to
have hat made especially for him. He
said:
The sober, solemn truth is no said
Bob" but that doesn't look we'll in print,
and hate the name, anyhow.
Robert. if you win the cigars. which
Heaven forbid, l will go to Havana and
make them myself"
knew he would not. Far better than
he did knew it.
The hat was made under the personal
supervision Of the halter, by and with
the advice and consent Of myself. 1t
was slick, shiny hat. 1t was about
eighteen inches high, and as symmetri-
cal as stOvepipe. 1t was the same size
all the way up. The brim was about an
inch and quarter wide, fiat and straight
as silver dollar. 1t would have been
the pride of st. Patrick's day process
sion. 1t was the awfulest hat. Strong
men shuddered when they saw it. l
don't believe such hat was ever made
before or behind.
Well, ! gathered about score of our
mutual friends.
WE GOT THE BAND OUT,
set the hat on top OF a dry goods box in
an open wagon. and paraded down to
my friends store, and l presented the
hat with an elaborate and ornate ad-
dress, Men said it was the greatest eff
| fort of my life. | think it was. 1t not
Oaly fatigued me, but people who heard
| it said it made them tired, too.
My friends remarks in reply were very
brief. bat suffused with emotion. He
| took the hat, labeled it with my name
and exhibited it in his window.
| When the Court of Arbitration at last
decided the other bet, tho band and the
crowd came out again and my foe pre-
| sented me with box of cigars. At the
conclusion of the presentation speech he
proposed that we smoke the weed of
| peace. could not refuse. l fa.tered
| my thanks, lighted cigar and pulled
thrice or twice.
That was nearly eight years ago, and
| yet sometimes | am aroused from the
prOfOundest slumber in the dead of night
| by the lingering farewell Of tho cigar
A policeman, who accidentally happened
to be awake that afternoon, came along
and arrested me on charge Of disorder
| ly conduct, arson and assault with
| INTENT TO COMMIT HYDROPHOBIA.
The magistrate smelled my breath as
| pleaded not guilty aud fined me $40.
went home, and committee Of my
neighbOrs waited on me at long ranga
and gave me twenty-fOur hours to leave
the state. left the box Of cigars on the
Office steps, and two tramps were found
dead beside it next morning. The board
OF health filed information against me
for conspiracy. seized the cigars anC
threw them into the Mississippi River
| All the fish between Burlington and Ke
Okuk diedt ha tweek. l took down my
shotgun, breathed into it, pointed it at 6
dog and he turned into stone. / blew
fiercely down the barrel of the gun, in
tending to hunt for my foe, and the gur
burst on the spot. but why recount
the narrowing experiences of that wsel
of horrors? only mention these few
leading facts, because Truth, with biz
T, is SO sadly seldom during this cam
paign, and l wish to Introduce little o.
it to leaven or twelve the canvass.
No. if l knew / could lose all the hat!
and win all the cigars in America OF
New York alone. would not bet tina
Mr.. Blaine will carry Georgia bv ever 8,
small majority. expect to wear +;
straw hat all winter, and / haye giver
up the use of tobacco in any form.
smoke ONLY cigarettes.