Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-02-28

wyoming may not occupy more nor
three square yards on guggerfy map
of the United States" remarked Wood
tick Williams at a recent session of the
Forty Liars Club. after being called
upon for speech by the chair, '.but
she's got mighty good packinf. What
| mean il that her internal improve
ments contain some mighty smart
men. With all due Difference to the
chair and the honorable company,
must say that for fast-color. pigeon
tOed, copper-riveted sense, the humble
ind .vidual who now addresses you does
not canter along at the rear of the pro-
.ession. l may not ride on the seat
With the driver, but if I do say it
follow up pretty close to the bereaved
relatives. l am willing to admit that
ny father was smarter man, even,
than | am-leastwise he must have
been, or the rouft records Of Kenosha
County, Wisconsin, pcrvert the truth
to a marvellous degree. He was bank
cashier. He went up to Canada for his
health-6ffice work is So combining, you
know,t hat it soon breaks a man down,
especially bank cashiers. HIS great in
tellect gave way, however, short time
before he died-leastwise he was fool
ish enough to make his willard SO the
family, of whom am which, got moth
ing. Some cousin by-his-wife' s-aunt
put in claim, and the lawyers COM
promised the case by gobbling up
the estate themselves.
'But, as said. I'm shade or twu
above natural-born idiot, and to prove
it I'll relate my experience while in Chi
cago last September. You know took
lot of cattle in there to sell and a ter
I'd disposed of them took spike-tail
car and went up town. l bought ME a
bran new outfit at a clothing store, had
the wrinkles pressed out, and dressing
up in my new toys, l set out to take in
the sights. Pretty soon l was tackled
by Is very decent looking party, who
seemsl tickled to death to see me. He
called me Tompkins, from Titusville,
Ind, and asked after the boys told
him he Was off his cabase, and just
about that time, too, began to smell
something most awful rank, SO when''h he
asked me my name, said it was John
Taylor, of Tecunseh. Neb: that l was
director of the First National Bank
there. and had just come to Chicago to
see something of city life. Then l told
him about the postmaster, Lou Davis,
and the station agent whom [ called
Brooke, and so on, and made him thor
oughly acquainted with everything and
everybody in the place. l knew there
was such town in Nebraska, but of
course didn't know soul in it, but
thinks l to myself, if there isn't any
body of that name there, why there
ought to be, and Us for myself, why the
name of Taylor was good enough for
ME. Well, we chatted long while,
until my new friend said he had an e.
gagement, but he'd call at the hotel in
the evening and show me around. Well,
its no use to prolong your agony. 1t
was the same old story. The custom
airy son of an old friend appeared in the
regular order of things and made him
self extremely agreeable, and Mr.. Tay-
lor' went with the young man to see
him draw prize in 4 lottery.
1.-The rules Of the game, up to this
point, had been strictly adhered:to-ap-
parently-but it gives Inc great pleasure
to state that, in t.le subsequent proceed
ings, l introduced certain innovations
that, if generally adopted, must tend to
detract seriously from the interests of
the noble game of bunko, and eventually
bring it into disfavor among sportive
gentlemen. entered, apparently, into
the spirit of the game with great en-
thusiasm and gratifying recklessness,
and bucked at it SO worth. when l
told them that rs l hadn't drawn any
money since l struck the town, and
only started with little for fear of
pickpockets in the cars, that broke me.
AS appeared to be enjoying myself,
however, the bunko men kindly kept
the, game going. and accepted my
checks to the amount of $3.50 on the
Tecumseh clearinghouse. Finally l
told them that I'd played enough for
one day; that it was lots of fun but
that, like all the other good things of
life, it came high. If they'd just cash
another check for $l0G, to give me a
little ready cash to spend about town,
I'd drop in the next day and give them
another whirl. The generous bunko
men cheerfully complied, and l quit the
game just $50 ahead. [ don't know
what they did with those checks. In
fact haven't allowed myself to worry
over it at all since. suppose it's a
little rough on the bunko man to dis
cover suddenly that he is the bunkee;
but then you know there's nothing GER
tain in this world but death, and four
aces backed up with king."-The
boomerang.
Buying and Selling Names.