Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-12
FANCY.

Japanese soldiers carry fans. These wea- pons are probably only used in the hottest of the fght.-Louisville Courier-Journal.
 visitor who was put in the 'tspare room" one night recently when the temperature was lingering near zero, avoided 8 fatal cold by stunning the bed and sleeping on the marble top bureau -Norristown Herald.
 A colored woman, when reproved for un- due expression of grief, said: 'tNow, look here, honey when de good Lord sends us trlbulations don't you s'pose he 'spects us to ibulate9"-Exchange.
 In Armenia girls are married when twelve years old. In this country st that age they are too busy buying candy and making faces at the boys to think of matrimony.-New Journal.
 The traveller in Russian Central Asia pays from $7 to $50 for 8 horse. A luscious watermelon can be got for two cents When watern1elons so cheap what does anyone want of horse?-New York Graphic.
 ''So you are not married, Mir. Jones?'' shyly whispered the widow Brown. ''No, madam was the reply, ''but have a bosom friend" ''Who is it, MT. Jones?" came in shy tones from the widow. ''Madam," was the reply, tits my iver-pad. d."-Philadelph Chronicle Herald.
 The worst pun of the season: 'fSo you say your husband loves you, Marry" "Oh, he dotes wildly upon me-" "Indeed; but he'll soon get over that" "What makes you think sop Because men generally soon get over sowing their wild dotes. .''-Somer- vilie Journal
 ''Your fare, young lady" said the stage driver, pretty miss stepped from his hicle. and was about tripping away. ''Oh, thank youi" responded the absent minded little beauty; 'I think your moustache be comes you real we'll, too" She got her ride free. Burlington Free Press.
 Tine editor of tho Caledonia (Nfinn. Argus writes: Was there ever purer Hiberni- cism than the following card sent to my paper for publication by the bereaved daughter of an Irish subscriber? A card. To the kind friends and neighbors who gave us their as sistance and sympathy during the death of our mother, we only wish to be able some day to return the compliments.
 Colored Msndaeity.-There was a large boiler of sca!ding water over a fire in the yard, and several black imps play ing near it. Suddenly shrill voice was heard from in- eide the shanty: You, George Washington, keep away from dat ar biler. Directly you is gwine ter upset de biler and scald yerself to def, and when you is, you'll be de fust one to say, 'Twasn't me, nanny .'"-Tex- as Siftipgs.
 The absence of the telephone was appre- eiated by some people in Boston. One man
 
 something like this: Hello. George dearl" ''Well, hello!" Baby just said goo, goo,' four times. I know he wants you 10 come home to supper" Baby? Who in thunder do you think am?" Aren't you No H. 7o1?7 Certainly notj Good day' Now you see that is an interruption to basiness.- Boston Globe.
 Break break break,
 AS fling you round, o trunks
 And would that my meaGre muscle
 Could shatter you into chunks.
 Oh, we'll for the drunmer's chests
 That they're boucd with ribs of steell
 Oh, well for the Wcmen's trunks
 That they're high as driving g-wheeli
 And the stately piles roll in
 Till my strength almost gone,
 And oh for the force of giants arm,
 Or the might of a mastodon!
 Break, break, break,
 trunks, as yell with gee!
 But the tender touch I used to have
 Will never come back to
 -Drake's Travel ers Magazine.