Morning journal and courier., 1884-11-20
FOOLISH.

Betting is an exceedingly foolish occupa- ton. Nobody realizes this more than the man who put up his money on the wrong candidate.-Rockland Courier Gazette. An Ohio girl while out driving with a young man got out of the buggy and killed herself with pistol. He probably persisted in driving with both hands.-Philadelph Call.
 "You must pay very close attention to your French, dear,' said fashionable moth CT to her darling daughter, Eff you want to enjoy French novels: When they are trans lated they are refined down to point of commonplace goodness that is absolutely stupid. d."-Burlingto Hawkeye. Lankson, who looks older than he is-"By the way, P1umton, there is about years difference in our ages, isn't there?" Plumton, who looks younger than he is-''A year! Why, when I was little boy and you used to pass our house I remember my father say ing: There goes old Lankson!' Life.
 t'Tis too, declared little Kerenhappuch. ''Tain't neitherl'' vigorously contradicted her little brother Melchisedek ''Melchisedek, D said the editorial papa, looking mildly up
 from the paper he was reading, "You must say It isn't not 'Tain't' It ain't pretty to say ''Tain't.'" Little Melchisedek looked up wonderingly. "Ain't it!" he said.-Bos- ton Globe.
 An Austin colored man; with pDtruding eyes, rushed into Justice Tegener's office and exclaimed: 1T wants Cal Jones, who libs next door to me, put under million dollar bond to keep der peace.n ''Has he threat ened your life?" 1'He has done dat berry ting. He said he war gwine ter fill de next niggah he found arter dark in his hen house plum full of buckshot. "-Texas Siftings. A brief respite: 'tHow are you feeling since the election?" was asked of O red hot Republican. at the Hoffman House. 'Not l. loJ l1o5 yesterday and while the actual operation was going on felt comparatively happy, but such a sensation lasts but a short time, you know" ''Am to understand, asked the questioner, FFthat the sensation of having 8 tooth pulled is pleasant one to you?" 'FWen -er-no, not exactly pleasant, perhaps, but it sort O has a tendency to divert ones mind from other matters for the time being."- New York Sun.
 An iceman and a milk1nan drove up to the door at the same time. "How many pounds of ice do you leave her every morningF' \ ten pounds, but 1 leave twenty for good measure. How many quarts of milk do you leave?" ''I don't leave any They think they are getting two quarts of milk every day, but it's all pure cream" Just then large truck came bowling down the street. It over and instantly killed both the iceman and the miIkman Their last words were, w ell S60 edCu OIuoI III AedfSu. -D1dhO Travellers Magazine.
 My dear, it is too bad, but you will have { to go without that sealskin sacque promised you"
 "Oh, hope not"
 ''It is too true; and the pony and cutter I was to get for Johnny Christmas present must be given up, too"
 s'Dear me!'
 "And our long-hoped-for removal to | fashionable brown-stone front is indefinitely postponed"
 "Horrors; husband, what has happenedF' ''The water-pipes burst last night. '-Phila-
 delphia Call.
 '7Are you going to count such small fry as \ Bslva and Butler?" asked man of one of the
 board of canvassers. Certainly we must
 1 do it' ssWhy are you compelled top "Be-
 cause this is an official count and we must
 count all the fish to get the net result. ."-
 New York Journal.
 For of all sad words of tongue or pen
 ! The saddest are these from the Widow Ben:
 By the great horned spoon, I'm left againi'' ' Louisville Courier-Jo Journal.