St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-04-03
Family QUarreIs.


There is no more marvellous proof
of the divine origin of the tie of con
sanguinity than the tugs it bears We
constantly see people endured by their
families, who would be uncomfortable to
anybody else. For in families no one
measures claims by deserts; and only
bitter experience opens peoples eyes
to the qualities and motives of those
among whom they have been born and
bred They live in the dark until mar
riage OF separation throws i'll terri
bile illumination.
The folly of family quarrels is the
most conspicuous thing about them.
As il general thing they run certain
course indignation, sinking, apology,
reconciliation. There are warm tenn
pers to whom IA periodical quarrel of
this kind is a luxury it seems neccs-
sary to enable them to realize the depth
of their regard to their relatives. They
speak their mind on moral grounds,
but the final issue of such speech is
an access of eftusive affection.
Yet such trilles 50 make or mar the
precariouS domestic sunshine of each
day that we ought to learn to put up
with the tailingS which have been ia
miliar to us from infancy. Nature.
reason and duty alike teach us this
lesson. To regard every fresh weak
ness of our relatives as something in
capable of being toreseen is II miscon-
ception lying at the bottom of the
majority of family quarrels. We know
one of them will he sure to forget an
appointment OF to miss train, or to
fidget when there is no fear of missing
one. We know another will worry
over n petty slight, or he taken i'll by
some well-knOwn impOsture, or be
made cross by certain opinions. We
have, therefore, no more reason to be
angry ut these peculiaritics than we
have to be angry ut the size of their
hands or the tones of their voice. The
wise person who is compelled to live
near Il railway depot learns to sleep
through the regular disturbance. So
also the wise and loving will cultivate
their sense of all that is charming in
their relations, and become Indifferent
to their disagrerablc peculiarities.
The form of family quarrel that is
most to be dreaded is the mild, polite
difference, III which, like the Misses
Spenlow in David Copperiield, the dis
putants calmly express in writing their
conviction that it is better for the
happiness OF all parties they should
stay away etc. Such quiet, silent
quarIels become chronic, and repre-
sent some deep-seated SENSE of injury.
ANY overt act that will bring such IA
grievance Ia a head would be an add
vantage, for people may wrangle and
yet love one another; but when they
dritt apart quietly, they are learning
to do without their home affections ;
aud in such a case Il very small differ
encc VIII go Il long way.
But let such sclt-sutiicicnt people re-
member the days that are coming,
when relatives will he the one thing
necessary. Age makes no new friends,
and every year curtail> the list of the
old ones. There is no more pitiable
object in life than an old man, or
woman, who is mot on terms" with
his family.
a family quarrel is an event which
pOisons many happy hours and never
leads to a single good result. 1t seems
beyond human nature to profit 10y a
trial of this kind. For God set the
world in families To counteract the sell
tishneSs which came by sin, and the
tie is one that is never innocently
broken. Therefore, as sin and punish
ment grow ont of one stem, they who
break it may look forward to the sor-
rowful, lonely retribution certain to
follow Congregationalist.