Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-10-04
SPLINTERS.

Decay and reproduction. ever beginning,
never ending-the gradual lapse and run
ming of the sand in the great hour-glass of
Time II Longfellow.
These warm evenings are Just the right
time to pop the question, for the girl is
usually ready to wilt before the young man
has time to say: Wilt thou be mine?"
A young gentleman at bali, in whisk-
ing about the room, ran his head against q
young lady. He began TO apologize. Not
a word, sir" cried she, lit is too soft to
hurt anybody"
A Nebraska lawyer in arguing case
said that . a man who is so mean as to sue
Il widow ought to be kicked to death by a
iackass and he would like the Court to
appoint him to do it."
\ wag said to one of his friends "If
my employer does not take back what he
said to me this morning, l shall leave. "
Why, what did he say ?' He told me
to look for another place.
The State needs citizens. but she needs,
above all, seli-supporting citizens. And
that system of education is most polite
and most perfect which best meets and full
fills the higher requirement.
Clergyman to boy " l did not see your
father at church to-day; l am afraid he
does not fear God" Boy: " guess he
does; he took his gun along with him
when he went out this morning.
President Lincoln, when told on GER
tain occasion that General So-and-So and
forty mules had been captured said
Well, | can make another Brigadier in
five minutes, but those mules cost 5000
apiece"
There is nothing impossible to the de-
termined spirit, says philosopher Evil
IDENTIFY that philosopher never tried to
reach up behind his shoulder to get hold of
the end of broken suspender.-[Somer-
Vile Journal.
Power exhibits itself under two distinct
forms-strength and force, each possessing
peculiar qualities, and each perfect in its
own sphere. Strength is typified by the
oak, the rock, the mountain. Force emil
bodies itself i'll the cataract, the tempes.
and the thunder bolt.-[Garfeld.
When an Irishman in Merry Old Eng.
land walks into a hotel, laughs and SAYS
Faith an it's mesilf that has come to
dlne-a-mite here" the landlord and roust-
abouts all rush out and shout for the
police, and look for the establishment to be
blown to fragments every moment Roses
Toothpick
We are told, Let not the sun go down
on your wrath" This is of course best
but, as it generally does, I would add,
never act or write till it has done So This
rule has saved me from many an act OF
folly. 1t is wonderful what different view
we take of the same event four and-twenty
hours after it has happened.-[Sydney
Smith.
The Brooklyn bridge has the largest span
and is considered the largest bridge in the
world. But the Tay bridge over the Firth
of Forth, in Scotland, to replace that which
fell down under railway passenger train,
will have two spans, each of which is as
long as the Brooklyn bridge This will be
the greatest bridge ever designed
No" said the storekeeper, =" | have no
fault TO find with your son, except it be
that he is too earnest, too ambitious And
that's just the trouble. Dye see, when
lie comes in the morning he lays out so
much work that he gets all tired out
thinking about it in less than q half hour,
and he isn't fit for anything the rest of the
day. Boston Transcript
A Washington lady, on receiving notice
from the cook that she was about to leave
10 enter the holy state Of matrimony, ex-
pressed surprise, adding, "Why | did not
even know you had an admirern Cook :
g Oh yes IN, for some time" Lady: sNho
is it, Mary Cook: Can't jes' think of
his name; but you member l tended a
un'ral two weeks ago; it's de corpse's hus-
band r'
The Koran allows man to have four
wives. He may have as many concubines
as he pleases. Things are very loose in
such matters among the Egyptians, Syrians
and Turks. The law of divorce is this: A
man may put away his wife when he
pleases. He must return TO her the dover
she brought him, and go before the Caiiph
and simply formally state that he has put
her away.
A Little Loan.-At an English Board
School the other day, says an exchange,
one of the scholars who had got into sub
traction was pulling his brain over the
problem how to take from s. The teacher
said, Eight from you cannot; borrow
TO-" The little fellow scratched his head
and considered, then turning to his COM
panion he said, Aa say, Tommy, len us
10t'