New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-12-31
SCIENCE OF Avo1RDUPo1s.
How TO Become Corpulent aud How to
Get Rid Of Flesh-Artifclal Plumpness.

20 keep IL. wv 0en man makes up 0lS
mind that he is growing too large he
goes to work systematically, swathes
himself in wet bandages, takes long
walks, perspires freely, bathes often,
eats no bread and butter nor potatoes,
nor anything dainty or luscious, drinks
nothing but hot water, and reduces
himself at once. Some Of our promi-
nent citizens have reduced their flesh in
this way twenty, thirty, or even forty
pounds, and deserve great credit for
their sacrifices.
Albeit all human history attests:
That happiness for man-the hungry sinner!-
Since Eve ate apples, much depends on dinner.
Women are not so successful. They
can not diet when they walk, because
walking gives them an abnormal appe-
tite; and they can not walk when they
diet, because lack of proper food makes
them corresponGingly weak.
There is one wealthy lady in our city
who weighs upward Of three hundred
pounds, and she wants to get thin She
is not able to walk much, as she is too
heavy for her ankles to endure the
strain, but she takes steam baths three
times week. She can not lie on the
champoo table to be rubbed, for she
could never get up again. The attend.
ant IS obliged to perform that Office for
her standing, and an exhausting job it
is, too. One of her breasts is as large
as an ordinary fat WOman's stomach,
and her arm would match good-sized
leg. The garment in which she bathes
would make comfortable night shirt
for Capt. Kentzell, and yet it fits her
like q jersey. The bath gives her such
an appetite that she always comes pre-
pared with a lunch of chicken, pate de
foie gras sandwiches. and beer, enough
for four people, but which she thor
oughly enjoys and finishes each time,
and yet she expects to get thin.
Now, no woman likes to be called
fat. Fat, according to Webster, means
'tfleshy, plump, corpulent; Astounding
with an oily concrete substance
Fleshy, as a descriptive adjective, is not
so bad. Plump is just the thing, and
suggests woman as
Being somewhat large, and languishing, and
Yet Of q beauty that would drive you crazy.
Few angels (are) there in her form it's true.
Thinner she might have been, and yet scarce
Yet after all 'twould puzzle TO say where
1t would not spoil some separate charm to
pare.
That is being plump, but when it
comes to ''corpulent, Astounding with
an oily, concrete substance no wO-
man wants to be spoken of as ''that fat
LADY," and yet, what is she to do?
Some few have solved the problem.
One of our prominent society ladies
lost thirty pounds by living on tea alone
for three weeks, and though she now
eats all she wishes she has never re-
gained her flesh. Imagine the strength
of her will, and let others emulate her
who can. Another wcll-known lady.
among us has fattened steadily for
years on a course of gymnastics, Diet
ing, and gallons of hot water taken
daily.
Fat consists of two substances.
stearin and elain, the former of which
is solid, the latter liquid, at different
temperatures, and on the different pro-
portions of which its degree of con-
sistence depends. Now there is sup
erstition that very hot water, taken in
ternally the first thing in the morning
an hour before meals, and the last thing
at night, increases the portion of elain
over stearin, and !: great quantity Of
fat in the stomach and bowels, becom-.
ing liquid, passes away; hence the hot
water cure. We don't say that this
aforesaid lady imbibed the superstition
with the water, but she fretted over her
increasing size till she was almost sick.
At last she decided to give up the
struggle and be happy. Strange to say,
she is growing thin. She is the first
instance on record of a woman who
fretted herself fat.
Very few ladies of any size at all will
tell how much they weigh, and she who
does excites the enmity of the rest, for
she is such a ''give-away' by compare
son. One honest lady, not so very
large looking, confessed before num-
Der of friends to 100 pounds. The
looks directed toward her by others
equally well proportioned were simply
murderOus.
Men are almost as bad as the weaker
sex in this respect. They will acknow-
ledge two hundred pounds with good
grace, but after that it is well they are
not under oath. One handsome six
foot bachelor (married men do not caro-
so much) varies from 212 to 215, never
more, and yet his best friends wonld
call $50 q light guess. Such is vanity:
Talking Of comparisons in weight,
however, it is hardly fair to Judge one
woman. by another; they carry their
fat so differently. "A woman with
feshy neck, arms, and bust, often has
smaller extremities than her thinner
sister, and weighs less. "A too large
bust is great annoyance, hence the
practice adopted by many of bathing in
diluted vinegar.
There are many ways to get thin, al
involving more or less work and annoy.
ance, and constant watchfulness to keep
off the flesh when once lost. How
much pleasanter it is to try to get fat,
and yet how difficult for a thin person
to accomplish. There is no necessity
to curb the appetite in this cndeavor.
On the contrary, it is given full sway.
and increased by every means possible.
An indulgence in palatable things to
eat and drink is permitted, and q culti-
walton of cheerful feelings and happy
indolence is absolutely Imperative, and
yet the poor, thin creature gets thinner
still, probably, as one afflicted remark
ed, from the: effort Of carrying around
good dinners.
3 What q sad picture is conjured by the
expression, lean woman. Referring
once more to Webster, lean means
wanting flesh, meager, not fat; that
part Of flesh which consists Of muscles