davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-15
T ooK AT Low FARES.

FORTRESS MONROE AND NORFOLK.
FIRsT-oLAss FARE, &Ii ROUND TRIP, I.5O
Steamer JANE MosELEY leaves Washington
for Norfolk and Old Point Monday, Wednesday
Friday and Saturday Mt 500 y, M, making close
connection with steamer for New York, Ocean
View Virginia Beach and all Railroad Lines South
POTOMAC RIVER LANDINGS. Fare % cts.
Steamer j. w. THOMPSON leaves Monday,
"wednesday and Friday AT "a, m.
For information apply by telephone or other
wise TO General Once, Blk th-street wharf, terml-
nus Seventh or Ninth street cars.
ALFRED WOOD, Secretary.
GEO. II. PHILLIPS, superintendent myl0
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-15
STEAMBOATS,.
TI,o NORFOLK, FORTRESS MONROE AND
THE SOUTH.

POTOMAC STEAMBOAT COMPANY'5
POPULAR STEAMER, GEORGE LEARY,
Leaves Seventh street wharf ON Mondays aud
Wednesdays at $3.50 and Saturday. at p, M, stop
and returning.
SATURDAY NIGHT STEAMER RETURNS
MONDAY MORNING.
Exclusive connection with the Bort u aud
Proyidenee s.eamers Connect also " "a New
n YORK ana hcnmona steamers, Horiv and
and Virginia Beach Railroads.
Passage and rooms can be secured at Baltimore
4 Ohio ticket ONCE, AT 18th ut, and Pa, ave-, 81.
Marc Hotel, Polkinhorn'g, next 10 Oily P0stohioe,
Office OF Knoxs Express, 9th 81, and Pa. ave. anu
at CompAny's office, 18th at. wharf
knoAe Express Will call for and check pfS-
gage from hotels and private residences.
Freight received daily until y. IN.
w P WELCII. Gen. Agent.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-15
Great Disappointment!

We positively
until Intending
OF
m must be made accommodate daily increasing sales find ourselves forced
sell of the goods for what they will bring
Remnants best
White iguredIa
wn, cd
yardw
Printed small
e
Check Wool Bunting reduced make
closed
Bunting goods
and sold last 62lc.
n small a
pieces White reduced
importation
These Goods Must Be Sold and We Selling Them Regardless Of Loss
pecesS eeisuck om1 o
Table Linens, Napkins, DoylieS, Towels!
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-15

o
Jerseys! Jerseys!
epleni
time iseson.
OUR STOCK OF IOSIERY


ladies 45c pair
%
Thread desirable
Fichus embroidered
e-wde orieR at
Ribbon, all shades, to121c
wlknown
Pillow Cotton, 123c.
the mills;
addition the few articles mentioned above the sweeping made
will not be disappointed they will examine
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-15
BALTIMORE & OHIO RAILROAD,

OHAs. e. PUeH. General Mana ssesef agent
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-01-16
who's DAT Knochin,9


The game was in a little old log
cabin, and there were three niggers
playing poker One Of them was
an old niger preacher and the
other two were kukluxing him and
winning all his money as fast as
they could. watched the game
awhile, and was standing whtre
] could see tie Old niger
preachers hand. After four OF
five deals the old preacher got ioulrt IL
acos dealt him before the draw
He turned his head clear around
and asked:
Who's dat knockin' on dat do'?'
There wasn't Anybody Knocking
at the DIOR, but you sec the old
preacher wanted to give tho other
two a chance ~ fix up a hand.--
They wasn't playin' straight flush.
es, so he turns clear 'runnd With
his back to the table ind says he: :
Who's dat knockin' ut dat dO'H
IL dat you, Maria2 Albright. Use
comm in a mint.
One Of tho other fellows had two
kings, iind they guuned through
the pack and got uut The othor two
before the old preacher lbused arr
onnd at the table again. One of
them bet a dollar. Theold dnteach-.
on went down in his pockets and,
got outall the money he had, sI7
and put Il up. 'Yo' ielleFs, said
he, has been Winnin' my money,
and yQuse can iiSt as wen have IL
all. iso d taisin SO forly.six dol
ahsp
The teller That had tbe lour fidss
borrowed NIL The moneythst ms
partuer had and call6d lheiaise
The old preaCharrakcd in ihe pot
and got up, aud said j knoWed
dat YOU was knockin n dal do
Maria, lse d comin Then Ne
went out.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-01-16
They Col Mad.

Two girls belonging to q church
at Oshkosh got locked in the church
the other night wbilo they we're
talking over the fashions, They
gave the alarm, when a man living
near the church put u board up to
the windowand they slid down TO
the ground. The most singular
thing was that after they got safely
TO The grpundithe looked mad, and
went Of without thanking the man;
and they won't speak to the man
when they meet him. HeCo oIldn't
account for it till be went to take
the board down, when ho got
slivers in his fingers and scratched
his thumb on u sbinele nail that
struck through the board. Some
men are mighty careless. lie says
he don't care only for the other
hearts that may ache.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-01-16
wanted u Cannon.

During the Indian war Of 1882
General Sherman paid a visit to
Camp Apache, in Arizona, While
there d huge redskin, who was cap.
tain Of the scouts, followed the gen.
eral wherever he went, and repeat
edly begged as a present one Of the
small cannons standing on the pa
rade ground. Finally the general
iInpatiently turned to the Indian,
exclaiming;
"Whut do you want Of the can,
non, anyway Doyou want 10 kill
my soldiers with itYo
mo" replied the Indian, IN his
cultural voice; 'Wanl to kill COW.
boys with Il. Kill soldiers with a
club"
Frontietsmen will bo quick to
lind the moral Of this true story.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-01-16


iakan bSbs.ouistly oos +.
b6o iSS s;soi sbs1 ,8.
neskiae ,n s.snsl
Tbs sbsots T., ns,s lssn,
nafsptsiab8 Il lSrns, Ss.
ao,o;1 + ,ig5,an,.tI ~. I, e.
6loit sSSl ssot gsri6S ,,o.
bisos .be bsbvAI asvst ys,i,,,
tba, !,
slIs bo disooye ssaclDdsa q
Sbsndon 4 entiteiy
snow. whare al ths,a ssonls
|liye Who have cared Il l;indIy VS.,
yopS St i most. ses tbsm s ss,a +n
mother
Relactantls i gave Gle address.
Jack cpme straight q tne alter tSy
mo,h t6la her errand. and NJ
'loa - oId. ana worn. and ihas.
tAstior q tnonenll leSt
i bil fof him.
tli... O......,.
cgto remarks hehad diads Is Miles
Griffith, and III trying 10 be ffigid,
ly cool Ionly succeeded in crying
weakly
"oh, jack! Jacklr / sobbed, una.
.ble to be anything but my own
impctuous sell, awhy did you teach
me to love you only 10 tire Of mo
50 Ioon2n
"Tifel IIoN2 What do you mean,
doar?p he asked. taking INV hand
anxiously as Il he feared / was not
quite rational. And then as | grew
calmcr | had to confess how / Ind
descended to the contemplate bust.
ness Of eayesdropping and what i
had heard.
"lt was my vb;,tbdar T,ol n,,,,t
you remember YOU Ind Grifitb IN
in tho studio. And YOU told him
you had made a great mistake in.
engaging Yourself ia 6,p nnd-ond
.bo aJy;sod ~, ;, ,i,a !. 1
yon .aid Son,a f,,,,a, y ~, ,s.,.. ~, a%1 y
For ,brso ,a;n;,,o" 49,, IL. I'J ~. S.'.l.. ~
mo md ,Saa 'a ha a;,s 1ss" s;S.a',,... r.r'Yua'
renrossina o. ;na,;a,;, w.; s,' - ,I
s.i1. - ''''"'''-' : 's''
an, 4. .r,i,,,. /, J.. .o,.,1 H. l.,
Iiayo 10 NJ. H. 49,, -
nv ro,,o l. i.nsao,,,a. ~ ~ WI, lI" : :
tbongb, "a mata a,,a Fa', 49,, ,.;a, "l'
rortro i'o = aI ,'S;,, o'Y ,., u'Y'o wa. ~
ham oSls,loini,,, 49, ',,,' ,".o,g .S INV ayo
=. oS.'' ,.',:,i, Gl,''. .a'nt"s you anu nio.ner
oia sop@,,'eiy li,'asn ~ snS studio Sn was slyly
bir,h5or ! s.' =. ,,,o ~. ~ 80 alo% sou'
:. ,,o,,. ! / !, n. %o sn V'lOo'"'e -
q ~ a., S - a.V'''o' w., ia't on 'ne
,FsssSS NH NJ, .s.,r1 ss.g.1 M;
trait painted. and tbintina that
you would like hers i nain,ed .vnnr
counLcrfoits MS bes, I,.cGiild an5
then before / showed tbem : son,
for Cirial,b lbe fsi,sss ori,i i - M n, !
club. He lold mo osNdi5ly ,hat t,t
as i norlrOit nointor I was !. d"aS
failure, an3 advised me- = oeyor E, IN
alloT he nuIic to seo NV o,,am n,' O,s =
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-01-16

"'" - ~ |"|"""H
Wien ihosogld Nas sdteaicl, and
asi gfea' rsa' asemhled is have
lheif hieilms anslnled. the ass
asst advanced md hom loha
he would hayesoliye
3hirt8 years isplicd Nst,s
thel eeQgieoa1e thee2
answered lhe 'itsis a
long RbiIel leuiembSf what
gearIspls sislenes ID mine.
rom morning TILL nigh, | shah
baye tobsar heavy burdens, dag.
gipg coFnSsacks TO the mill that
others inii eat bread, while i
shall ihsss az encouragement nor
be refreshed by anything but BY
blows sapdikieks Give he d port.
Iiop q that time prayE
asaFe' lfoyed Nishicompas.
sion sna presented but eighteen
sests g. 4. went away com.
totteai and thedog came forward,
How long dost thou roqaife
ZI I y
TO liye2 asked Nature, Thirty
years we're too loag for theass, but
wilt thou bo coatonted With thomg'
is itthy will that | shouldS' u.
Piled the dog Think how much
will have to run about; my feet
will not lasEso long i time, and
when | shall have lost my voice fot
barking and my teeth for biting
what else shall be ii for but 70
lie in a corner aud growlS
Nature gave him twelve years.
The ape then appeared.
Thou wilt, doubtless, willingly
have thirty years, said Nature;
thou will not hayo to labor as the
ass and The dog, Life will be plea.
SAINT to thee.
'Ah, nol' cried he, so it may
seem to others, but II will not be.
Should buildings ever rain down, /
shall have no spoon. Ishali wv
merry tricks, and excite lausdtof
by my grimuces, and bo psatded
with a sour apple. Hss often sor.
row lies concealed behind a jesll-
/ shall not be aIiS TO endure 50
long.
Nature was gracious, and he re.
coiyed but ten. Atlast cume man,
hoalthy2ana strong, and asked the
pcasuro d his days
win tliirty yeurs conton! thcsS'
How short i timel' exclaimed
man. aehenI shall have built
my bouse, and kiadled a fire on nv
-i'rysstsf sfs,henLhs treasI have plant.
ed'drd aJ5Ot 10 bloom and bear
fruit; Elenlile 10 me viii seam
most dAgirable, 1 Shall die. Oh
Nature, grant me a longer uoriodp
Thou shalt have the eighteen
years d The MSS besidvs.'
That sOo! enough 'replied man
Take likAgiso the twelve wears
Of the dog
1T is not yeksuNioient,, reitera.
tod ,o, to;,,o ~
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1884-01-16
IIll0Ti IlI.- II's aaEiol.

i,
5laEs z Y aasieel
w sls ssst'
gsi' ,s's,s =, sSsl'.a Y, !, 'ss', e, !,
'sssIes ~ Ega'e
arg nim ses Eqy 7
Eeq 4! lor lei safs I
~ llss snleggn si,'s
i1ssS l'ao.s eok n l.ns
s'7 Psosls's X slls u ] lsN
sDCI'
y Ea G''pa nov y
sl1S !, Y \. =, me.
Z. =! !,a !. Y ~ I Z lss ssap' lsssS
s.'..gsf'n =, sllniessls !, aeMas =
Z ss.sss' aOs A.'Os y !. !.
.as !, 81 3 J, ss,'ls4 Z, gu,o y.
y, as,A : s'sl ~ 81 sasN. =
s'.u Was gUss " sls
sisss., !.
Sgs.'
y. \ = Z y 'si'., Z ',sssi
'g..',, J, J, w y. i,
'"s suuSsn suVVA suu sleu ~
9GI ~, O.ape :
"n0n sus'sa. Y O9psO'0uspsss
~ ~. - !. ss's.'ts . .os' oss's'
'as a1sL.ls "ss '..a4sg x. Ios ! : ~. .,.,
4, y uers ...',l -, :. asAel, .,,, a,
!. sl.oIsa - Sos,a ',oo 9s' ~ Ouo' t@'
Das .'y1.t ~ ai'poaou ! ! ....t ..,,
~. ~ a'o WIN 'stSgas salu
=" 'y,oo res' ~, 'io' uHosul"ias ny
sy''' 'lvy 10, ~ W 'iAs"ves''aVeui isuy
~. ", !. "''.'ossn ns' nu.' was
nearly @hite' sitting - near me-
now came ! fs, ne'ef qomana-
W. ~ +" "eVe' s'A''ieu fo'Oe' !,
Al'oEa o'isl consultation WIN
y w T0,u''' eyiaen''y '"e h't'''
'ao iuuy u'c''S" ~ 0Sp'a'n 'no
s''us'''u' ~.
~ a's ~c"A, "us .ruS' 10.
your g'ou SenFo 70 remain earn
whlle tell yon why you arc here.
About a month ago yon were eros.
slug the street aud my husband
and accidentally ran against and
severely injured you There was
nothing about to identity you, SO
@o brought you home"
"And this Is a month ago; has
no one been hcreF Dld you adver-
'lser
NO." replied the lady, VT was
reported In the police news, | be-
lloVe, as my husband had topay a
lase hne for ms carelessness, but |
never thought Of advertising for
your friends. l supposed they
would go to the station and then
Be directed here, il you had anY in
'"o ',, u,
nave" none sa'a gi'teflF'
was ooly a iVunu!lag' lSlhg upon
cnTFl'y az my NE,
! was FO'AIFss' u'a no' 'hHiS
now unnecessary .. IL was % SPEAK
.o' my own history 70 . stranger
a @hoie moaEn ! haa IAN theFo
ana no one aad called, /,
ana my pSIe' 'hln hNnd' showed
now near 10 deaths door had
oeen' AS | NY looS'ng aE my
wasted hnseFs no'iced MY ring
was gone
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-11-26
A Remarkable Mirage.

(From the Los Angeles {Cal.) Hera1d.J
Just before the rain of Sunday, Octo-
Der II, wien the clouds hung low on
the Sierra Madre, and the air was heavi-
~ charged with vapor, there was a rare
sight in Crescent, Canada. The Sierras
were hidden from view and the upper
side of La Canada, by the refraction of
light, seemed lifted up about 5000 feet,
occupying the topmost height of the
mountains. The ranch of Col. T. S.
Hall was most conspicuously exalted.
Ills eucalyptus trees appeared to be in
the very skies, while his neighbors along
the upper mesa were also elevated to a
strange, weird, and fantastic height
The spectacle continued for nearly two
hours, when it slowly faded away, and
the landscape settled down again ap-
parently about 5000 feet to it's normal
condition. The sight was rare and of
absorbing interest to all who beheld it.
Il is not often that the refraction of
light is so intense in it's manifestation
as in this case, and the occasion is de-
serving of more than a passing notice.
In horizontal distance of more than
two and one-half miles there was man
ifested elevation of more than a mile.
To one familiar with the features of the
country the sight was especially inter-
es ing.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-11-26
The Lop-Sidedness of Genius.
IFrom the Boston Gazette.t

IFrom the Boston Gazetteh
1t is an unfortunate truth that genius
is not domestic, nor, as a rule, amiable.
Men who are great in intellect are small
in emotions; like Russian sunfower.
they run all to head, and what is not
flower is litter. ChauceF, Shakes
peare, Milton, Byron, Dickens, Bulwer
and Carlylel Brain and heart always
in inverse ratio; eyes always gazing out
at the misery of the world to the neg
lect of the misery at their own hearth
stones. From Socrates, with his ag-
gressive nose In every stew pot but his
own, to Goethe, with sympathy for ev-
cry suffering but that caused by him
self, the history of genius is the history
of woman's suffering, the husbands tri-
umph and the wife's grief apothesis
of brains and the degradation of heart.
Where talent flies, love creeps and gen
JUS. with it's head in the sky, has it's
feet in the desolation of it's own home.
Lit would seem as if great talents were
destructive of the domestic virtues;
that with man, a perfectly rounded life
were impossible; that what feeds talent
is robbed from the emotions, while SYM
metry is lost in lop-sidedness. Hero wor-
shippers rather admire this lop- sidedness
in their heroes, and the philosophic
Germans, for example, have written
many erudite treatises to prove that the
development of Goethe's genius was due
to Goethe's immortality; but to simple
people who are not philosophers. and
who have no theory to defend, the vices
of genius are the most inexcusable of
all vices.
It is a sad fact that the worlds heroes
are anything but heroic; and if they are
angelic as to thought they are coarsely
clay as to flesh and it is only what is
left after the grave closes over them
that is deserving of admiration. Had
biography been an art in Elizabeth's
reign, Shakespeare would doubtless have
been sufferer; were biography not an
art in Victoria's reign posterity would
be grateful. Great men are admirable
men only when they are shrouded in
the midst of loving tradition. Genius
should ask no greater boon than to be
saved from the curiosity of its friends
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-11-26
IN ARCADIA.
BY r. T. W. DUKE, JR.

Because choose to keep my seat
Nor join the giddy dancers whirl
pray you do not laugh, my girl,
Nor ask me why find 1t sweet
In my old age to watch your glee-
I, too, have been In Already.
And though full we'll know l seem
Quite out of place in scenes like this,
You can't imagine how much bliss
IL gives me just to sit and dream,
AS your fair form goes fitting by,
How 1, too, dwelt in Already.
For, sweetheart, in your merry eyes
vanished summer buds and blows,
And with the same bright cheeks of rose
see your mothers image rise,
And DER long and weary track
My buried boybood wanders back.
And as with tear-dimmed eyes l cast
On your sweet form my swimming glance
think your mother used to dance
Just as you do, in that dead past,
Long years ago-yes, fifty three
When /, too, dwelt in Already
And in the musics laughing notes
/ seem 10 hear old voices ring
That have been hushed, ali many spring
And round about me family floats
The echo of melody
/ used to hear in Already.
And yonder youth-nay, do not blush,
The boys his father DER again;
And bark We, Miss, was not plain
When at his age-what must hush?
He's coming this way? Yes, 1 see
You two yet dwell in Already.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-11-26
Sugar in His'n.
[From the Arkansaw TraveIer.1

tFrom the Arkansaw Traveler.1
Gen. Strongly, who was once COVER
nor OF Arkansaw, could stand defeat or
success about as well as any man known
to the thrilling history of this country.
Once, while his chances of victory were
IN the hands of his friends, assembled
In state convention, the general and
several supporters sat in the rotunda of
the leading hotel. The result of each
ballot was brought by courier.
SWELL" said the general, after receiv-
ing returns from the forty-first ballot.
"if Jackson climbs much more he'll
down me-"
@I'd be prepared for the worst" some
one remarked.
ooh. I'm prepared. Hello, here's the
courier"
General, am panied to inform you
that you are defeated"
"That so? Well, boys, come up and
let's have something" leading the way
to the bar. "What will you all take Bill"
addressing the bartender, "give me a
whisky sour"
Just then man dashed in and ex-
claimed:
General, six counties have changed
their vote and you are elected"
"That SO? Say, Bill, you may put
little sugar in NINE"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-11-26
SWEETEST AND NEATEsT

VI all the piscatorial tribe
~ Inou art the best and sweetest?
NOT mn nor scale. nor bony tail
Doth mar thy claim as neatest.
We welcomed thee in every shape
In tempting stew, or luscious fry.
And puris naturalibus,
A balm to many a smitten eye.
You've been a friend both tried and true
doubted thee once only: --' N0
Twas at q church fair wears ooo
You looked so awful lonely.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-11-26

SIR WALTER RALEIGH's tobacco box
has lately been discovered in England.
The Red Cloud chief., 1884-06-06
THE LAST MEETING OF GARFTELD'S
CABINET.

"lfMr Blaine wants a subject for his
pen which he may lie confident is wor.
thy of his finest rhetoric, said ex-?ost-
master-G General James, 'let him take
the last meeting of Garfcld's Cabinet.
l can never forget the scene rs the
President came III, and, saying he wish
ed TO read to lbs a letter before begin
mig business. proceeded to read one of
Abraham LincOln's most characteristic
epistlcs, one hat Bob had run across.
he said. 1t was his despatchto Gener-
al Joe Hooker OH the eve Of a battle.
and Garfield, you may be sure, read it
for all it vas worth. In it Lincoln lik-
ned Hooker to a bull trying to get
Overa fence with dogs in in front ofhim
behind him. The Secretary of war had
written some copious instructions to
Hooker, but happened to run across the
messenger with Lincoln's terse de-
spatch. After reading it he tore his
up, saying he could not equal it,"
The Red Cloud chief., 1884-06-06
JAPANESE

The japanese do not use Il pillow il
Ii n of the word. They have .
small piece of wood, something like a
dog IN shape. on which they lay theil
heads, the girls and m serene in
the consciousness that their hair will
not be disarranged. The wondrful
structure ola japanese head-dress is us.
ually made up once in four DAYS. It is
~ent that if it were touzled on a
dotn pillow it would have to be dealt
with every day. Children in some
cases have the head closely shaved, but
more often the hair is Enthusiastically cul-
tlvated. A favorite style is to shave
the head all round the crown, leaving
that covered with hair like a skull cap.
Sometimes all is shaved save a few locks
over the forehead. Another rather
fetching design is to leave "A couple of
well-defined locks over each ear, inst
enough to hold the child up by if that
were deemed a desirable disciplinary
process.
The Red Cloud chief., 1884-06-06
Advice to Mothers.

kre Won disturbed 1T night and broken Of your
relt by a sick child suffering and crying with
pafn %. cutting teeth? II sd seId at once and
get liz bottle Of Mrs. HIlSiOw> soothing syrup
for children tepthin-. Its value - incalcul1ble.
II will relieve he little sufferer Immediately.
DepAtnd UIOn IL. mothers. there IS no mistake
ahort II. IL cures dy>cnteTy and Glarrhoea. rig
ul1t,t the stomach and bowels. cures. wind colo
snl;.i1s the gums. red Hes inr-rII:IOn. and gives
zone and energy To the whole system. Mrs.
WTnsbl ytS johannesburg f1f e!iiaIen teet.ilig
* nlanAant 10 tie taste. and Is tie prescription
nj tnna u the oldest ANA best female nurses and
IL The United States. and j. for sale
by al druggists throughout weird. Price -
.rutS a hottie.
The Red Cloud chief., 1884-06-06
Why We Cannot Love Tomatoes.

The feminine mind early attains te
the consideration of the ethics of the
affections. In n of our city schools
the other day, the class in English
grammar was discussing the difference
between the words like" and love
Now" said the teacher, 1--WE can Ike
a tomato, but is it proper to say We can
love a tomato:" mo, it is not" said
a fresh young miss, zone cannot love a
tomato" Why not?" inquired the
teacher. Because, you know, you can
not-you can't-well, you can't hug a
tomato"
The Red Cloud chief., 1884-06-06
STORIES on THE ROAD.
Commercial Trarekrs at a Uauside Inn
Something to put in Gripsack.

Gentlemen, l almost envy you the
positions you fill; your experience O
the world; your knowledge of bushes.
the changing sights you see, and all
that you know"
This warmly expressed regret fell
from the lips of an elderly pleasure
tourist, last August, and was address.
cd TO a semicircle of commercial trav.
elers seated on the porch of the Lindell
Hotel, st. Louis, Mo.
YES" responded a New York repre-
sentative of the profession, "a drum
mer isn't without his pleasures. but he
runs his risks, too-risks outside the
chances of railroad collisions and
steamboat explosions"
What risks for instance
This, for instance" said Mr.. d. W.
FRANKLIN, who was then travelling for
an eastern firm, and is known to mer-
chants IN all parts of the n
The risk-which indeed, amounts al
most to certainty-of getting the dvs-
pepsla from perpetual change of diet
n water and from no fixed hours for
eating and sleeping. myself was an
example. l say uds, for i am all right
now"
No discount or your digestion ?"
broke n a Chicago dry goods traveller.
lighting his cigar afresh.
MOI a quarter per cent. But | mad
TO give up travelling for II while. The
dyspepsia ruined my paper. Finally /
came across an advertisement of Park
ers Tonic. | tried it and it fixed me
up to perfection. There is nothing on
earth In my opinion, equal to it as a
cur: for dyspepsia"
Messrs. Hiscox & Co, of New York.
the proprie,ors hold a letter from Mr.
franklin stating that precise fact.
Parkers Tonic aids digestion. cures
malarlal %fevers,, heartburn, headache.
Coughs and colds, and all chronic dis
eases OF the liver and kidneys. Put q
bottle in your valise. Prices, soc and
81. Economy in larger size.