The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-11-15
AN INQUISlTIvE POSTMASTER.
Reporters Adventure in Illinois
Postohice-His Experience as a Spring
Poet Bouncer Comes in Good PLAY

Poet Bouncer Comes in Good Play.
A reporter was in very small town
in Illinois one day this week We were
expecting check from the editor, and
consequently our footsteps We're directed
towards the postot1ice. Arriving at the
office, which is in u little one-story
frame building, we inquired, as there
any mail for me?' forgetting to give
our name. The postmaster eyed lis for
second, then turned and glanced over
a big package of letters; he found none,
and then scrUinized another bundle.
Again failing to find the expected letter,
he turned towards the reporter and sur
veyed him from head to foot.
Say, what yer name?" he then in
CURED.
We told him and again he turned and
carefully inspected the very same letters
that he had only moment before ex-
amined. Then he turned and queried:
"Where's the letter to come from?"
Evansville, " we answered.
'Oh-o, SO! Guess I'll find it, then"
The same performance was again in
dulged in, but without effect. lie lazilv
laid the letters aside and asked us if we
were any relation to the so and SOS,
that used to live in Rattan County,
Kansas. We answered him in the neg
alive.
"Visiting here, l s'pose?'
Eyes; is there any mail for me?"
''What did yer say yer name WASP"
We told him again, and he remarked
that if the letter was there it came in
on the morning train.
80, yes, that's so. I'll look over this
bundle, and he extracted another from
pigeon hole. Evansville Evansville
let's see, that village is in Ohio, amt
it?''
mo, sir. It's in Indiana"
Small place, guess, near TT.
Wayne?"
mo, sir. Southern part"
NEAR Posey County? How's politics
there?"
Hang politics! Is there letter for
me?"
20, letter? I'll see,' and he finished
rummaging over the package, and
found one that he eyed for half min
ute nearly. just then a voice in the
rear of the Office yelled:
Chicken fight. Bet dollar on
Jones' cock''
With the letter in hand the pOstmas-
ter made his exit through the back
door. We sat down and waited ten
minutes, then called in passing boy
and gave him a dime to go round the
back way and call the government
official.
IVAN to see me?' he innocently IN
CURED, coming to the window.
For heavens sake, man, are you
crazy? have been here an hour"
Want mail? What's yer name?'
Come outside, you DANCED stinker,
and I'll show you"
80, you're the fellow that was stand
ing here awhile ago?'
Are you going to give me my mal?"
''Here is letter"
But before he gave it to us young
lady came in and the postmaster turned
his attention to her. They chatted
away for five or ten minutes, but our
patience was gone.
''Will you excuse me, mann? This in
fernal galoot has been two hours hand
ing me that letter that he is holding in
his handr'
Letter? o, yes! Here it is"
We grasped it eagerly and-heayens,
it was for Smith.
''Sav, this letter isn't for mel"
The girl Uttered.
"Isn't your name Smith?'
This was too much. We remembered
the many days we had acted as spring
+ha y+fi,n aud
jumped over the partition. The maiden
fled, and then the matinee-for gentle
men onlv-commenced. First one Of
that old party's heels would knock over
a pile Of dead matter" then as he
. swung around again another would
knock over lot of Congressional re-
ports that he was saving to sell for Old
paper. and about four hundred packages
of garden seeds sent by Congressman
Suags to his constituents in that county.
Then his right arm would hit his date
stamp and knock it so that it would
strike his muclage bottle and carom
onto the ink bottle and break both.
Then another arm would 90 through
from the Henry College Lottery, and
unally WIN Wllu yen we plckCu MIN
up and fired him through a back
window, right through big poster of
the Snags County District Fair that was
acting in the place of glass.
As we got on the train the next morn
ing at st. Louis, we heard the ncwsboys
yelling: 'All about the bloody affair at
Snagsville. Eight masked robbers at
tack the postmaster, who shoots two
and drives the others off. Object sup
posed to be robberyn'
We only smiled. We could afford to
smile; we had succeeded in borrowing
fifty cents of friend in st. Louis to buy
dinner with, and our pass was safe in
our pocket. -EUanSUilt ArguS.
The Clock in Trinity's Tower