davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10
Ben'S PcrSuader.

A Houston (Tex.) correspondent tells
the following story of Ben Thompson,
the Texas desperate, recently killed at
San Antonio:
When Ben was City Marshal of Aus
tin an advertising agent was seen by
him painting an advertisement of some
patent medicine on the outside of
corner grocery. Ben having been in
formed that the man had not first OBJ
tanned the owners consent ordered him
TO erase it Immediately.
The painter protested that he had
permission to paint the sign, but Ben
was not to be tritled with. Drawing
forth his ''siX'' he Numbered, Five.
minutes to take it off. "
And it was off before five minutes
had expired.
About the time the painter finished
erasing his work the owner of the store
appeared, and, seeing the situation of
things, informed Thompson that the
advertiser had obtained his consent to
paint the sign.
Thompson apologized to the man of
paint and told him he might repaint the
sign.
The fellow said he believed he didn't
care to.
Again came forth Ben's deadly weap-
on as he said:
Give minutes to put it up again"
And he put it up.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

it TO Davis, in dream | had the ex-
perience to fish all day in company
with friend. | whipped trout streams,
but no fly was fascinating enough to
tempt single fish. Tired. wet and
hungry, we reached Sherm's at 5
o'clock. We found him just emptying
dilapidated basket containing four
teen trout, the largest weighing eleven
ounces. He condoled with us over our
poor luck, and soon, over a nice sup
per, we forgot the fatigue of the day.
This was the dream. The reality,
even to the weight and number of
Davis catch, was precisely as I had
dreamed on the previous night it would
be, except that my friend caught two
small fish, when my dream had given
him no catch whatever"
The dreamer had finished. Silence
reigned until beer was ordered by one
of the doubters. 1t disappeared and
then the party broke up. The dreamer
started off in an opposite direction to
the rest. The third gentleman said to
one of the two skeptics: "Well, what
do you think?"
The skeptic replied: ''He is re-
markable dreamer, or q remarkable"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

Whatever may betide, men have good
cause to rejoice that they bear no part
IN that crowning bore of all bores
known as the formal call.n That is a
feminine institution. 1t is an inven-
ton OF the sex. and the sex groans un-
der its yoke. Man smokes his Dur
ham in beatitic peace, whilst the wife
and daughters pay tribute TO the for
NAL call. He hears the soto voce
prayer that parties will be out. and
that the man can be dispatched with a
card. He quietly notes the SIGH of re-
lief when the exhausted women return
after hours OF social distress. He OBJ
serves the tax of dress incident to the
:Sfair, the bad temper it ir.vokes. and
the hypocrisy and total absence of any
equivalent in the way of pleasure for
all this slavish adherence to custom,
and then dimly realizes the miraculous
felicity of his own escape from such
thraldom, and it maybe takes comfort
in the thought that the whole business
falls totally on those who have made
him pay the piper for countless other
freaks and whims of fashion and ca
price. The elasticity of conscience
WIN hALCI IlIC ScnGiG creatures Gu
deavor to mitigate the infliction of the
formal call by convenient tibs, furnish
es the masculine monster some anus
ing food for study, and it NAV be
doubted whether he would bulge an
inch to abolish the formal call. 1t is
diamond cut diamond; women annoy
ing women. In such transaction the
wise man holds aloof and lets the
dainty beligerents masquerading as
friends manage the hollow and artificial
show as suits themselves. 1t is not of
ten that he has an opportunity of keep
ing out of game in which women ar
ray their wits against one another in
stead Of against the common tyrant,
man. He is at liberty to be judiciously
silent and hear the fair prattlers dis
cuss each other in style utterly unlike
the fancy pictures of novelists and
poets, and if he doesn't get some
wholesome enlightenment he is hope
lessly stupid.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10
Locks Of Presidential Hair.

Very few of the people who stream
through the National museum know,
/ fancy, that small locks of hair taken
from the heads of the presidents, from
Washington to Pierce, are carefully
preserved in q glass-coYered box in one
of the exhibition cases. They are in
teresting as the only relics of the bod
les of our chief magistrates. Wash
ington's hair in this collection is nearly
pure white, fine and glossy. That of
John Adams is also white, but coarser.
Jefferson's hair is rather coarse, and in
color mixture of white and sandy
brown. You can see that in his youth
it must have been remarkable for it's
bright color. MadisOn's hair is coarse,
a mixture of white and brown Mon
roe's is fine, smooth, and of it's original
dark auburn in color. The hair of
John Quincy Adams is of the oldest
color; it is coarse and colored like a
yelloW-gray cats eye. Gen. Jackson's
hair is coarse white. Van Buren's is
white, fine and smooth. Gen. Harri-
sons is fine and white, with q slight
admixture of black John Tyler's hair
is mixed white and brown. Folks is
almost pure white. TAYLOR is white.
streaked with brown. Willard Fill
more's on the other hand, IS brown,
with few white streaks. Franklin
PieTce's is a dark brown, fine and soft.
= Washington Gog. PAiIale::''::ll-- ln,-co.d-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

have never performed the feat myself.
for | am naturally nervous. -Merico
Letter an ~ Y Graphic.
Says the New York Tribune; New
York's product III slaughtering and
meat-packlng IS $4,000, 900, of print
ing 81, 900, 900, of brewing $4,000
900, of lard SIS. 900, OOO of tallow ST.
600, 900, OF furniture $40, 900, 900, of ma
chinery S15, 100000, of men and wo-
mems clothing the astonishing sum of
sou, OOO,OOO, of artificial flowers and
feathers over $4, 900, 900, of awnings
$3. 800, 900, of bookbinding and blank
books 50, 10000 of boots and shoes
So,0OO,OOO, of bakery products S10,000.-
900, OF carpentering $7,00O.OOO. of wag-
ons $4,000, 900, of confectionery s., 00O,-
OOO, ana OF combs, TO take care of the
head. only $4,000. We are the most
uncomoed people in the country, it
would seem. We make about 81, 000,-
900 OF drugs, $4,000, 900 of flowers, So
OOO, wv or furS, s., 100000 of gas-tix-
lures, nearly $3,0O0,0OO OF beaten and
reduced gold, $4,000 of hats and
caps, 50, 900, 900 of jeweIry, $4,000, 900
OF lead stuff, $6,000 900 of stone-work.
So, 900, 900 of millinery, So, 900, 900 of
textiles, $1,000, 900 of pianos and footing
things, and So, 100000 of the delicious
oleomargarine. We make $3,OOO,O 1000
of paints, S., 500, 900 of paper-hangings
81, 5OO, OOO of patent medicines, 81, OO0,-
600 OF perfumery, 81, 000 900 of photo
graphy, $4,000, 900 of pretty things for
the plumbers, 5000, 900 of shirts-and
this IS enough for one shirt to 90 the
entire rounds of the States-$9, 600, 900
OF silks, 81, 900, 900 of soap and candles,
IS, 800, 900 of stationery goods. SILL
5OO, 0OO Of sugar and strip, and $25,-
OOO, 1000 Of tobacco and cigars, $780,
700 OF upholstery, and $1,000, 900 of
Wire-Work.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10
Hard Worked Soldiers.

Our little army, the greater part OF
which is always sin the field in the
vast west, is called upon, besides much
marching and often hard fighting, to do
muck hard work or manual labor, and
also much mental service. These last
two features destroy all soldieriy feel
ing and esprit du corps, rendering the
men sullen and disconnected. Take the
following as an example, habitually
witnessed in the army. After q long
day. march, with musket on his shout
der, forty rounds of ammunition in his
cartridge box, and 4 days rations of
pork and hard tack in his haYersack,
the soldier reaches camp and longs to
rest his weary limbs after putting up,
with his mates, the little tents and
bringing his share of wood for the camp
fire. This is done cheerfully. But
there is no rest for him. The sergeant
calls for details of half dozen men
each to put up the tents for the officers,
another detail to unload the officers
wagons and another to bring an ample
supply Of wood for each officers tent
fire, and also wood and water for the
officers cook. In the meantime the
officer for whom the soldier performs
these gratuitious services, and who
bore no musket, ammunition or rations
through the broilng sun, and who ma
terially reduced the fatigues of the
march by alternately riding and walk
ing and thereby remaining compare
lively fresh, sits on his stool slipping
his toddy in sight of the tired soldier.
To refuse TO perform these ''meniaP'
duties, the soldier would incur the risk
of being tied to 4 wagon wheel, or to
be bucked and gagged OF, in the mild
est case, to get an extra guard and be
subjected to all sorts Of unpleasant
treatment. Again, soldier is called
upon to do too much hard manual la
Dor. He must be, or is made TO be,
also q carpenter, machinist, wagon-ma-
ker, axeman, etc. Hundreds of so
called ''fOrts," consisting of officers
and soldiers quarters, quartermaster
and commissary storehOuses, stables
and guardhouses. have been built by
soldiers, some Of whom receive a few
cents extra pay daily, while the ma
jOrity are detailed as fatigue parties"
without more than their scant soldier
paw. There have been built thousands
of miles of roads through the wilder
ness, and bridges as we'll, by our pio-
neer soldicry, who are often sadly over
taSked
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10
"A Paris Adventure.

One Of the most distinguished physi-
clans in Paris ne with startling ad-
venture the Ole; day. His servant
handed him, at o'clock in the even
ing, q letter signed by an unknown
person, asking the doctors Immediate
attention for a relative of the person
whose signature appeared at the bot
tom Of the letter. The relative did not,
however, live in Paris, but in St. Ger
main. at the old pavilion built by Hen
~ ". The address given was rather
singular, out the letter contained 600
francs in crisp, new notes of the Bank
of France. The case was represented
as urgent; the patient intended leaving
for the south Of France in the morning.
could the doctor come at once?"
1t was furthermore suggested to him
that the train that left Paris at mid
night for St. Germain-the ''theater
train" would be the best one to take.
They would expect him at the pavilion;
4 room had been prepared, and he
could return to Paris the first thing in
the morning-
The confident tone of the letter and
the snug sum inclosed decided the
NOCLOI" LIZ 1C1U 1O11IC UIldG u10u III
time to catch the midnight train.
That night q dreadful storm burst
over st. German. The doctor was
afraid he would lose his way in the
darkness, and secured the services of a
trustworthy railway porter as pilot.
When they arrived at the pavilion he
was informed that mo one of that
name lived there" that mo doctor
was expected" The door was slam
med in the doctors face, and he spent
q portion of the night in the pelting
rain, running from house to house to
find a shelter.
Was it q practical joke, q wager, a
trap to waylay and murder him, or
was there "a lady in the case?" No
body knows.
The doctor is quiet married man, 4
model of the domestic virtues, and has
no enemies so far as he is aware OF.
1t was reported that stranger call
ed at the pavilion the next day, and
finding upon inquiry that the doctor
had been there, simply remarked:
''Oh, it is all right; let him keep the
money"
And so the doctor did.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

A Colorado burro has been shipped
across the Atlantic and presented to
the Prince of Wa,es. 1t is matter of
profound nationsj sorrow that this was
not the first American jackass ever pre-
scented TO his Tallncss, the Prince
AT Omaha, last week, Il barrel of
sauer kraut rolled out of wagon and
struck O'Leary H. OleSon, who was
trying TO unload it, with such force as
TO Kill him instantly, and 10 flatten him
out like q kiln-dried Goldfish Still, af-
ter many such instances, there are
many scientists who maintain that
sauer kraut is conducive to longevity.
As an evidence of the healthfulness
of mountain climate the people of Dem
yer point to man who came there in
~ without flesh enough to bait trap,
and now lie puts sleeves to an ordinary
feather bed and pulls it over his head
for shirt. People in poor health who
wish to communicate with the writer
IN relation TO the facts above stated.
are requested to enclose two unlocked
postage stamps to insure 4 reply.
At Ubet, NJ. t., during the cold snap
in January, one of the most inhuman
outrages known in the annals of crime
was perpetrated on a young man who
went West in the fall, hoping 10 make
his pile in time to return in May and
marry the New York heiress selected
before he went.
While stopping at the hotel two frcl-
icsCne young women hired the porter
20 procure the young mans pantaloons
at dead of night. They then sewed up
the bottoms of the legs, threw the doe
tored garments back through the tran
som and squealed ''Firer'
When he got into the hall he was
vainly trying to stab one foot through
the limb of his pantaloons while he
danced around on the other and Joined
in the general cry of Fire" The hall
seemed filled with people, who were
running this way and that, ostenSibly
seeking q mode of egress from the
flames, but in reality trying to dodge
the mad efforts of the Young man. who
was trying to insert himself in his OBJ
stinate pantaloons.
He did not tumble, rs it were. until
the night Waterman got 4 Babcock fire
extinguisher and played on him. / do
not know what he played on him.
Very likely it was, SISTER, what are
the wild waves saying?"
At any rate he staggered into his
room, and although lie could hear the
audience outside in their wild, tumult-
uous encore, he refused TO come before
the curtain, but locked his door and
sobbed himself to sleep.
How often do we forget the finer
feelings Of others and ignore their sor-
row. while we reyel in some great Joy.
-RiU Nae
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10
DIR. Holmes and the Harvard Boys.

The most popular man in the medi-
cal school is DR.. Oliver Wendell
Holmes, though he is no longer an ac-
tive member of the faculty. The genial
''autocrat" cannot stand entirely aloof
from his first love, and almost every
month he pays q visit to the doctor mill
on the Back Bay. Some Of the younger
professors think that DR.. Holmes is
pretty far behind the timcs-''an old
fogy, you know''-but the boys have
no thought for them when the old Doc
tor comes in sight, trying 10 steal I'M
seen through some open space. APP
plause and shouting bring tie Doctor
to q stop. The bright, strong face
lights up with happy smile, the white
head bows to the youthful top-knots,
and the slight, strai hit figure, bearing
very easily the weight Of - long years,
tries TO steal away again. But it won't
do. The boys must have q speech, and
the Doctor submits. How he brightens
and sparklesI No dry remarks on ana
tomical subjects, no learned d;sserta-
ton on medical principles. Only a
talk with the boys, "reminiscences Of
the colleges earlier days, happy hits
and filings, and then good-b bye until an
other month has passed. Boston Let
ter TO Chicago Tribune.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10
Matrimonial Peace of Mind.

Are you as happy now as you were
hefore you were married." asked Mrs.
Yeast OF young Mrs. Crimsonbeak.
Yes, indeed" replied the lady;
land great deal happier"
That's strange" suggested the phi
lanthropist's wife.
'.Not at all strange" came from the
young married woman. you see, be-
fore l was married / used to spend
half my time worrying about the dress
l should wear when Daniel Called
But don't you try just as hard now
TO look well when your husband re-
turns home at night?" interrupted
Mrs. Yeast.
We'll, you see," went on the bride
of two summers, 81 don't worry any
about it now, as | have only one dress
to my name. = Yo1akers Gazette.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

Young Blabbitt has been making
calls at stated intervals for some time
in South Clinton. Last Sunday night
hour in the parlor the girls little
brother came in, and in rather sheep
ish manner asked to see Rabbits
nose. See my nosew exclaimed
Blabbitt. ''What do you want to see
my nose for?" 'Weu, Plummer
PIunkitt was over last night and Maria
promised to marry him, and ma said
she thought you'd find your nose out of
joint when you called again. -AppletOn
BNQZe.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10
Uncle RcnluS.

Joel Z. Harris, the famous humorist
of the atlanta Constitution, has had q
strangely romantic career His father
was missionary, and it was at the
small town of B0oghia, on the southern
coast of Africa, that Joel was born.
He was educated by his father and ac-
quired wonderful acquaintance with
foreign languages. He is an adept
Sanscrit scholar, and is deeply versed
in Hebraic and Buddhist literature.
The sWeetly quaint legends of Indian
and Judean mythology have found
their way into his simple southern tales,
and the spirit of his philosophy is iden-
teal with the teachings of Moses and
Buddha. Some years before the civil
war young Harris came to America and
taught school in q village near Lake
Teeteelootchkee, in Florida. While
thus employed he made the acquaint-
ance OF Sallie Oule Curtis, the daugh-
ter OF wealthy planter These two
soon fell in love with each other. Sub
sequently Harris was engaged by Col.
Curtis as private tutor for his children,
and there was no objection made to the
young mans attention to Miss SalIie,
then radiant creature of 16. The
war came on; Col. Curtis raised aregi-
ment with his own private means;
young Harris enlisted as a private and
was speedily promoted to captaincy.
Not only did Col. Curtis lose all his
property by the rebellion, but in the
battle OF Columbia, S. c., a grape shot
tore his lower limbs into shreds. To
I'LL his cup of bitterness and to blight
the life Of Joel Harris forever, the
beautiful Sallie Oule Curtis died of vel
low fever the very day the lover and
crippled father returned from four
years battling for their lost cause. Har-
ris had but one mission in life now,
and that was the support and comfort
OF the manned sire of his deceased
sweetheart. The two live together in
an iVy-covered cottage near Atlanta,
and the love the twain bear each other
is beautiful to contemplate. Mr. Har-
ris is only 40 years of age, yet his snow
white hair tells the sorrow of his life.
-hU1Sas City Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

BraziIs navy consists OF 5000 men
and fifty vessels.
A paper chimney fifty feet high has
lately been put up in Breslen. Com.
pressed paper pulp is said to be one of
the least lnHammable of substances.
ana TO make an excellent material for
ire proof doors.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

!. 4 west Virginia young man who be-
HeVeS in self-improvement, having re-
Gently married, Suggested to his wife
eh"I they should argue some questions
IrahAiy anu fully every morning. in
ofdef 10 learn more of each other. The
nrst question happened to be "Wheth-
CT 4 woman could be expected to get
along without Il hat" and he took the
affirmative. He learned several new
things before the argument closed.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-10

IL Japan age IS counted from the
nrst gay OF January succeeding birth.
AZ that date child is a year old, wheth-
er porn IN the previous January or at
midsummer or on the 31st of December.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-03-28
SOUTH WASHINGTON.

The Leary arrived this morning from Nor
folk with 60 passengers, 107 barrels OF
oysters, 90 barrels OF kale and smaller freight.
Tho Leaiy presents an extremely handsome
appearance now, having Just boon overhauled,
put In thorough condition and havlRg been
painted inside and outside.
The Rov. W. II. Chapman, tho new pastor OF
Ryland Chapel, was rendered reception last
ovoning In tho sunday. school room. Ho was
attended by his wife, daughter and son.
large number OF tho members OF the church
were present, and expressed great pleasurea at
meeting their new pastor. love-feast pre-.
coded the reception,
The Lake arrived this morning from Norfolk
with about ITO passengers, including tho Hon.
John W. Thompson and his wife, and large
freight, including GOO punches OF bananas,
37b barrels OF kaie ana potatoes, o refrigera-
tors nlled with Florida strawberries, 20 bnr.
rels oysters, 10 boxoB early Southern vegota-
bles, $50 boxes OF oranges, "a cRses OF wine
from Tokay Vino Company, Florida, and "a
barrels rice.
The steamer Mystic was sold yesterday to
Captain Kemp, OF Florida, who will run her ou
st. Johns River. She left yesterday for Alex.
andria, whence she Will go TO her now homo.
The steamer Moseley, having been recently
thoroughly overhauled, Will DO put on the
Norfolk route on Monday.
Tho steamer Thompson arrived last night
from tho lower Potomac landings with about
90 passengers, 81 head OF sheep, 10 calves,
40 coops OF fowls, 20 crates ana boxes OF eggs
and 1900 punches Of nsh.
Complaints OF robberies are made from VA.
rious sections OF South Washington. The
people aro requested TO DO more vigilant
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-03-28
ALEXANDRIA AFFAIRS.

Az q meeting OF Virginia Council No. 2, Q. 4 o.
A. NJ, last night tho following officers were
Councillor, e. II. Boyer; V. o., II. c. Bfonti II.
s., u. l.. Germond; A. Il. g., j. T. Roberts; Il.
s., j. q. Kelley inductor, NJ. X. Norris; exam
liner, J. L. Kelley; /. P,w. II. Scott; o. r., u. d.
will be Installed Mt tho meeting OF tho lodge
on Thursday night next.
The condition OF young sneed, who attempted
suicide at the Braddock House yesterday
morning, was thought 20 DO critical this
morning. The injured man rested badly last
night and suffered much from tho effects OF
his wounds.
Mr.. George Darling, who has been q clerk for
Messrs. Perry, Smoot Co. for some years, has
been appointed lumber inspector for Lynch
burg, Va, and Will leave IN q few days for
that place.
Henry Price was detained at tho stattou-
house this morning for trial for dis0rderly
conduct. Pat Foley was fined So by the Mayor
yesterday for the same ofrense and held in
500 bonds TO keep tho peace.
In the County Court yesterday, after argu-
mont, the cases OF Eugene Murray and James
pltchard, on tho charge OF DEMONSTRATING, were
postponed till the next term. Curtis d. Ora
ham was appointed u county supervisor.
Robert Veitch qualified as sheriff Of tho
county.
Mr.. W. II. Gentry, lato manager for the
western Union Telegraph Company In this
city, left yesterday evening for Atlanta, Ga.,
and Will take charge OF tho telephone line at
that place. Mr.. G.. made many friends while
In this city, and his resignation 10 regretted
by many.
A new iron bridge Will DO constructed over
Tuscarora Run, nenr Leesburg, on tho Wash
ington, ohio Il Western Railroad, shortly.
The lumber to be used In extending Mr..
John Lannon'S wharf arrived yesterday on
the steamer Occoquan. Tho work Will be com
menced next week.
The schooner Joseph Rudd is loading coop
| erage at this port for Cuba.