The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-11-21
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WIT AND HUMOIs.

| al ihuldhu DuDl, DoIH uulHlS lVI-
rible storm, has been named Cyclonia.
In the coming years her husband may
think the name very appropriate.
A drinking man, upon reading in a
novel that the heroine's beautiful face
"colored with pleasure said Nov |
know what's the matter with my
| nose.'
Which is the most costly, horse or
bicycleP- Readcr. The first cost is
often about the same; the difference in
the costs afterward depends on the rel
atye price of arnica and oats,--IHaa-
aelphia call.
"Will you have some soup or fishP'
asked the waiter of stranger. mo,
sir; bring me some meat, pertaters and
cohy." After he had finished his meat,
pertaters and cotl'y, he leaned back in
his chair and said; "Now you kin bring
in your soup and fish if you want to,
but You shouldn't 60 trihing with
Kansas City man when he's hungry"
Should live. Two men met on the
river bank. II have come here to COM
NIT suicide" said one. $50 have l."
replied the other. II borrowed a lot of
money and can't pay it back, so | have
decided to end my life" II declare
this is strange, have decided to kill
myself because ] failed to borrow mon
ey. I've got enough for the drinks.
Such conscientious men should live
Come on. "-ArkdnSaac Trareler.
"Yaas," said an old settler. eve ran
horses in Texas Then you take an
interest in the noble sport?' asked the
stranger, Il was engaged in boss
race some years ago in which | took a
right smart interest?' Running
race?' "Hit war" "M,e or half
mile track?' "llit war fifty nile
track, stranger. Texas is a big state?"
"A fifty mile track! | never heard of
such a thing. And did you winPn
You bet!' "iow much did you wia?'
81 won the boss, stranger
A blue-eyed girl went into the music
store and said: "Have you any easy
observation-disclosures pieces for begin
ners." What are Boston Providence
pieceso' asked the astounded clerk.
pieces without any runs in them" ex-
planned the blue-eyed girl, sweetly.
The clerk gasped, and then handed
down piece in nine sharps, the score
of which included two BASES and was
full of short stops. He said he thought
that would catcher as it was pitched
pretty low.
AT wine party of young men at one
OF the colleges, notes of apology were
handed in from two of the proposed
guests, who We're unable to attend ow-
ing to the death of their father A
young gentleman, heir to q considera-
bic property, who had been partaking
freely of the Inequalities of the festive
board, suddenly burst into tears. "Was
this dear old gentleman friend of
yoursP" asked the sympathetic host.
mo, no, it's not that sobbed the
guest; "only-l was just thinking-.ey-
erybody's father dies but mine!"
The other evening a young rough on
a New York street car wouldn't paw
his fare and used bad language. 4
whlte-bearded passenger demonstrated
with him. Come off the ear, YOU old
duiler roared the wicked youth, land
I'll kick you" The old duller got off
the car, but when it came to kicking
the boot proved to be on the other leo.
The young man was led to the station
house by the ear, He had walked up
the wrong passenger. The white-bcard-
ed gentleman was Police Supcrintcnd-
ent Mailing. - Itaterb,yy Amcrican.
"Patroniaing pcddler." An elder
in one Of the churches was last week
making up club of subscribers TO a
Sunday-School paper. In his rounds he
called at a house whore he found little
girl of at home He explained his cr-
rand to her, hoping to get her name on
the list, and she replied; "Well. rllas
mother, and I'm quite sure she'll give
me the money, for she says we must
patronizc the peddlers who come along
or they will be driven to steal and
rob. lie hasn't gone back to see if
she succeeded, -Dctroa Free Press.
Seafaring party-"Do you bolieve in
this ere thought reading, sir, what we
ear so much of in LondonP" Tourist
--"Well-cr-1 don't know. Don't
think ! do much; do you believe in itpn
Scattering party-"ln course does, sir
Fr Instance, knows pretty well what
your thinking of now" Tourist-"ln-
deedl What do you suppose I'm think
ing OF nowP' Scafaring party--"Weu,
begging your pardon, il strikes me YOU
are thinking as how this ere old party
might take 1t kindly if you was to ask
him what he'd take to drink" Tourist
is in for it, J. London Fun.
Two Austin gentlemen, Colonel YER
ger and Sam Bass, were talking about
the comparative intelligence of animals,
II think that horse is thcmost intelli-
gent ANIMAL" said Colonel Yercer.
mo, sir the horse is not. The rat is
the shrewdest and sharpest little ami
NAL / know of, 1t has wonderful
power of discrimination. The rat new
or sets fire to a store by nibbing at the
matches, until everything is insured for
more than its valuc. A rat who is in
that line of business is sharper than n
fire insurance agent with siyty-ounco
brain and thirty years experience. ".--
TeraS Sytings.
Jones--'I tell you what II is, there is
nothing like having highly educated
wife. ~ smith ar ,,.. . -