The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-12-13
A Case Of Like Cures Like.

An old bachelor friend of mine who
lives up town has had dreadful expo
rience lately.
Remark these sunken eyes, said he
with wan smile, s.see this wasted vis-
age, that fiattened cheek. and this
pinched nose. It's all on account of
naghbor who has got into the habit of
giving summer night parties. But I've
cured her, reckon, y and he chuckled
sayagely.
'.Summer-night parties?" l echoed,
interrogatively.
Yes; Mrs. Blank, who lives next
door to mine, is a votary of fashion in
small way. But as her husband isn't
wealthy enough to send her to Saratoga,
she conceived the idea of making
| things lively in town for while by get
ting up ice-cream evening parties. Ice
| cream, as everybody knows, means
girls, and girls mean filtration and mu-
sic. and pandemonium generally. The
racket began some three weeks ago |
smoke pipe and read or chat till bed
time, and generally go to sleep by 1890.
| Well, sir, just as would be off in the
first blissful doze, there would colhe a
! tremendous racket All of sudden,
bang! bang! would 60 the cheap hired
! piano, and some wretch who makes be-
| lieye to sing tenor, Or possibly flend
in clawhammer coat who processes to
sing bass, but only succeeds in emit
| ting hideous series of grunts and
roars, would begin the circus. The
windows being open, every one on the
! block was treated to the inf1iction of a
free concert. In one short week I heard
the score of dozen prime operas mur-
dered, a raft of solos torn to shreds,
and Heaven knows how many arias
way that would make angels weep. ]
lost my sleep on an average OF three
nights week.
''Not much. went to Mr.. Blank
and told him that unless he called his
wife off was dead man. He laughed
at me; then he swore and then he
ordered me out told him would
get square-and die"
sHoWP''
81 went down town the next morn
ing and bought of dog fancier a
canine that was warranted to howl
enough to turn the edge of razor. Oh,
he was beauty! His teeth were set
back as far as his ears, and when he lay
back, set up his snout and howled, you
could hear him to Harlem. chained
him in the back yard, and that night
there was concert. He took his feed
quietly, and I thought he was really
going to sleep, but he was only saving
himself for good time later on. About
1915, sure enough; bang! bang
pumpetty! whack! thump! squirr! rick
ETY.! rack! br-r-r-rip! went the
piano, and out on the night fioated the
strains of a wheezy soprano in
| Some eday-a-some-day-a
Some day yI-a-shall-e-meet you,
when my dog caught on. He thought
it was duet, and he did his part of the
business right up to the handle. Every
time the singer caught breath that
dog gave series of yelps and howls
that made the windows rattle and my
soles tingle. He really spoiled the
effect of the song, think, for moment
later the music stopped and somebody
flung boot, or something that sounded
!. like it, into my backyard. But that
made him howl the louder He got
well into the kennel and lay down with
his head little on one side, nice and
easy like, and there he howled so lusti-
ly that felt had got him cheap at the
money.
"Well, he kept it up for three nights.
Then old man Blank came round to my
house and said he guessed there
wouldn't be any more parties this sum-
mer as his wife had concluded to go to
the country for spell, and if l would
call off my dog he would call off Mrs.
Blank So we called it square and now
get my nights rest. But another
week of it would have made total
wreck of every soul in the block. IN.
Y Star.