Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1884-04-11
FUN

Making Love TO Female Medical
Student
Miss Mary Flynn was studying medi-
cine and being courted at the same time.
Mr.. VIM. Budd was attending to the lat
ter part OF the business. One evening
while they were sitting together in the
front parlor. Mr.. Budd was thinking how
he should manage to propose. Miss Flynn
was explaining certain physiological facts
to him.
-"Do you know" she said, that thou
sands OF people are actually ignorant that
they smell with their olfactory beduncle?''
millions of 'em,' replied Mr.. Budd.
s'And Aunt Mary wouldn't believe me
when told her she couldn't wink with
out sphlncter muscle %
"How unreasonable ~
"Why person cannot even kiss with
out sphincter."
"Indeedl''
''I know it is 500
MAY try if can ?''
vi AAAs A|uNeAs ~ 40 wv Cou Va yOu w
maKel light of such subject"
Mr.. Budd seized her hand and kissed it.
She permitted it to remain in his grasp.
81 didn' It notice. he said, whether a.
"a what do you call Pa sphlncter help
ed me then or not. Let me try again."
Then he tried again, and while he held
her hand she explained to him about the
muscles of that portion of the human
body.
sit Is remarkable how much you know
aboutsueh things" said Mr.. Budd-''real-
ly wonderful. Now, for example, what is
the bone at the back of the head called ?''
"Why, the occipital bone, of course.''
''And what are the names of the mus.
cles of the ARM"
1.-THE spiralis and infra-spiraIis, among
others.''
well, now, let me show you what l
mean. When 1 put my infra-spiralis
around your waist 80, is it your occipital
bone that rests upon my shoulder blade. in
this way ?''
my back hair, primarily, but the occi-
pital bone, of course, afterwards. But, OH
Mr.. Budd, suppose pa should come in and
see US 2"
"Let him come! who cares ?" said Mr..
Budd, boldly. II think I'll exercise a
sphincter again and take kiss.''
''Mr. Budd, how can you?'' said Miss
Flynn, after he had performed the feat
Don't call me Mr.. Budd; call me Will
lie," he said, drawing her closer. You
accept me, don't you2 I know you do,
darling"
WILLIE" whispered Miss Flynn, faint
ly.
"What, darling ?"
81 can hear your heart beat.''
ut beats only for you my angel"
"And it sounds to ne out Of order. The
ventricular contraction is not uniform. -
"Small wonder for that, when it's burst
Ing for ioy.''
You must put yourself under treat
ment for it. 1 will give you some medi-
cine.''
TITS your own property, darling, do
what you please with it. But somehow
the sphincter operation is the one that
strikes me most favorably. Let me see
how it works again ?''
But why proceed? The old, old story
was told again, and the old, old perform
ance of the muscles of Mr.. Budd's mouth
was enacted again. And about eight years
later Mr.. Budd Was wishing that Mary
would catch some fatal disease among her
patients, and Mary was thinking that the
best possible use Willie could be put to
would be as subject for the dissecting
table.
BRIGNOLI's STORY.-Signor Brignoli
was telling the other day that once while
he was singing IN concert for charitable
object, the prima donna was suddenly at
tackled with singers sore throat, and it
became necessary that some one should
apologize to the audience. The manager
declared he was suffering from nervous
ness and could not do it, and he begged
Brignoli to make the explanation. The
tenor, going forward said
Ladies and gentlemen, l regret to zay
Eat Madame N eez leetle horse dis
evening"
Peals of laughter greeted this announce
ment, and the tenor looked puzzled, think
ing the audience misunderstood him. He
advanced once more, and with laundering
emphasis roared out:
II gay Eat Madame Ne eez a leetle
orse dis evening"
Another roar of laughter, amid which
voice in the gallery cried out: Then if
she is little horse, why not trot her
out2''
Then the mistake was plain to him, and
Brignoli laughed as heartily as any one.
HER WEDDING CAKE.-Arabella-
kind it was of you to print such nice no.
sice of my wedding. told you, didn't [,
that 1 made my wedding cake myself?
Editor-Yes; but it was unnecessary. I
knew at once that it was made by your
fair hands.
Arabella.-Then the piece I sent you ar
dream over it?
Editor-Well, no. You see, need it in
the Office.
Arabella.-W what for?
Editor.-It makes lovely paper weight.
A good country priest said to dying
drunkard: "My, son. you must be recon-
ciled with your enemies.'' ''Then, y
groaned the poor wretch. 'give me glass
of water.''
It is hard to believe that the hairs of our
head are numbered, but we all readily be-
lieve it about the hair of the moustaches
of some Young men, They are so few that