davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
5Niscclla
The Latest Dog Story.

The following incredible though wellvouch-
ed for dog story comes to the Elmira Adoer-
tiser from the lips of gentleman residing
but a short distance from the city, whose
character Cor truth and veracity stands high
among the business men of Elmira. On the
North road about four miles from the city,
lives highly respected family named Stet-
son, consisting of young man and his wife
and the aged and inrm sire of the lady
The old gentleman is crippled with the rheu-
matism to such an extent that he cannot
leave his chair, but is wheeled about the room
by his daughter.
The Stetsons are the owners of large,
powerful dog, half mastif and half New
foundland, noted for his intelligence and
sagHcity throughout the whole ncighborhood,
while nearer neighbor possesses little
shaggy Scotch terrier. Between this ill-as-
sorted pair the strongest friendship has
grown up, the dogs being almost nseparable.
Mr.. Stetson had been digging well, and had
reached depth of twenty feet, but had not
yet walled it up, when about aweek ago lie
and his wife found it necessary to visit Elmira
on business. The wife drew her fathers
chair up to the window in the sunshine and
otherwise rendered him comfortable, and left
him watching the gambols of the frisky
strangely matched friends.
L.
of sight when the little terrier fell into the
well, which contained about two feet OF
water at the time. The old dog was almost
frantic, and lost his canine presence of mind
in a wonderfully undignified manner. He
would look down into the well at the yelp.
ing padding terrier and then howl and run
to the windows, scratching on the easement
and otherwise exhibiting all the evidences OF
almost frantic grief to attract the old mans
attention. Suddenly he paused moment
and looked grave, as if collecting his scatter
ed senses.
Mrs Stetson before leaving for town had
taken in the washing hanging ON the clothes.
line, coiling up the line and laying it on a
bench The mastiff had seen the workmen
draw up pals of water by means of the rope
and an idea seemed to strike him. Selling
one end of the rope in his teeth he ran to
the we'll with il and commenced slowly draw
| ing it up to him and lowering it into the well
The helpless old man at the window, who
| was watching the proceedings with breath
less interest, then saw the old dog commence
pulling up the rope by walking slowly away
| from the we'll
Slowly and carefully the sagacious old mas
| tiff drew up the cord, when up over the side
of the crumbling walls came the muddy, drip
| ping form of the almost exhausted terrier
clnging to the rope with his teeth. When
Mr. Stetson and his wife came home the old
man attempted to tell the story, but it was Sc
incredible that they could hardly believe it
but upon Mr.. Stetson's going out to the well
he found the mud-bedaubed rope lying
where the old dog had left it, and the prints
| where it had cut into the soft earth sides Of
the well were plainly discernible.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
New Members OF the Lime-Kiln Club.

Judge Cadaver will please step his way"
| said Brother Gardner as he motioned to
| Samuel Slim to raise the alley window and
let out the odor of burning bootleg.
The judge came forward with pressure of
| $50 pounds to the square inch, and the presi-
| dent continued:
Judge Cadaver, a society Mt Defiance, o.,
I known as De Aggregation of Philosophy an
Science" has requested me to send 'em down
some members OBJ dis club who kin deliber a
lecktur full oh interest an instruckshun.
has selected you. Heah am eight dollars in
cash an a railroad pass, an you will leave
heah tomorrow afternoon.
The judge look so meltingly sweet that
every body began to grin.
ii desiah to spoke few remarks 10 you"
said the president, as he laid aside his specta-
Giles. Yon are gwine among strangers. You
will meet wild blacklegs and bondholders an
all odder classes of men.
"Doan talk too much wild your moui"
"Doan try to make anybody believe dat
you am millyunaire.
"Doan stop to bet on de string game or
threecard monte.
"Doan purtend you know what you doan
know an nebber heard Of"
"Doan' stop to.argysrellgun wild infldels
nor pollyticks wild young man who can't
VOTE"
IF anybody calls you Kernul you needn't
stop to explain his mistake, but at de same
time doan' hire any one to call you Profess
sor."
"If you lose your money by playin' policy
while you am gone, come home by de high
way an say muffin to nobody. If you am
knocked down an robbed you kin telegraph
US an count on receivin bout TO dollars in
cash. OATS al, judge, an you kin now re-
sumo yer roost."
The following candidates were put through
the bean box in good shape Elder John
Champlain, Judge Hart, Briarroot Smith,
Dodo jackson, Professor lockwood, Sympa-
thy Smith, Welcome Black and $3.50 Tomp-
kins.
BOUNCED.
Givedam Jones offered the following rcso-
luton:
"ReSoyed, Dat dis club no longer employ
the services of speshul weather prophet"
Several members arose to ask for infor-
nation, and it was explained that the colored
prophet who was engaged to predict weather
for the colored population of the country
had made a complete failure of the business.
The resolution was then put to vote and
carried by majority of GS,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
The Benefit of Good Roads.

There is nothing new in the following re-
marks, made by the Hon. William Walter
Phelps, at the annual meeting of the New
Jersey State Agricultural Association, but
the subject is one of which Zine upon line
and precept upon precept" are useful and
evt necessary making good roads and spen-
ding money judciously but literally to keep
them so is sound policy for farmers every
where 1t saves the team, the wear and the tear
of the wagon, and aids not only in transporta-
tons but in other operations of the farm, in
nearly all of which transportation is an i'm
portant factor. But the good road is es
pecaly important to our fortunes as Jersey
farmers We have right to consider among
the probable gains of our future the proba-
bility of great and rapid increase in the
value of our land. Young men and old, wea-
ry of city life, in all seasons of the year,
spend their holidays exploring in our State;
they swarm upon our hlltops, and straggle
into our deep valleys, intelligent and
thoughtful explorers, The first thing
they notice is the highways. How can they
help il! 1t is the path by which they come
1t is The last they notice. How can they help
it, 1t is the path by which they return.
The condition Of that highway fixes their
choice to purchase or to seek elsewhere.
We must spend some money on our roads
rs the sufcst way OF increasing the market
value or oNr land. Bad roads must go.
Nor need we pause because the amount
is small-perhaps limited to the meagre sum
that the district has for century expended
each year on what it calls keeping up
only we must change the fashion of the ex-
penditurr. We will not keep up the roads !;
we will not pillow and scrape to the middle
of the road the same dirt which nature will
more slowly, but certainly wash back to the
sides. Let such improvements cease; let us
expend the appropriation in making one
piece ofcomplete and permanent roadway.
The condition of the whole road district
would not under neglect be much worse.
The people among whom l live have adopted
this modern practice after many wasted
years, and, us II result, Eaglewood already
boasts miles of park drives which are an as
set adding immensely to the value of the
township"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
VARIETIES.

Passenger lin q hurry)-Is this train
punctual? Porter-Yes, sir, generally
quarter of an hour late to a minute.
"A bit of plantation philosophy: Yer
KANT judge man by de spread what he
| makes. De size o de watermilyun amt gov
erned by de length O. de vine.
An eminent clergyman, not thousand
miles from Boston, was congratulated at one
time on the admirable and helpful qualities
of his wife YES" he replied, "shes my
mentor-and tormentorp
"A good looking girl, whose lover asked
her in the tenderest tones why il was she
was so magnetic, explained the phenomenon
by informing him that her mother and father
were both telegraph operators.
"A professor was expostulating with n
student for idleness, when the latter said =
"Its no use was cut out for loafer."-
WELL" declared the Professor, "whoevcr
cut you ont understood his business"
"A certain Aunt Betsy was trying 10 per-
suade her little nephew TO go to bed, and, by
way of argument, said that all the little
chickens went to roost ut sunset Eyes" re-
piled the boy, "but the old hen always goes
with them"
Here is II string of verbal anomalies
Stop cocks do not crow railway sleepers
w hot sHoIci running wafer mas no 1eet
standing armies often move; the speaker of
the House don't often speak and jolly ,ars
are not always merry.
~ preserve my equilibrium under all cir
cumstances," she was heard to say in n pause
of the music To the towheadcd youth who
was her escort.
DO you ?" he answered softly. Mother
cans hers"
Then the music resumed
Customer: "Areall Smyrna rugs alikc!"
Storekeeper: "No, indeed; there is q great
very great difference in Smyrna rugs" Gus,
toner What is the principal difference ?"
Storekeeper: 'Well, some Smyrna rugs are
Smyrna rugs but most Smyrna rugs are not
Smyrna rugs"
"A German WAS in n room with a dozen
other dodgers trying to sleep, hut was kept
awake by their terrific snoring. At last one
of the snorers, who had been shaking the
house for half an hour, gave snort and
stopped short. THANK Colt, Won sh dead"
said the Dutchman.
-Timid lady going up the Washington
monument Observation-Disclosures what ifthe
rope breaks that holds us? Conductor-Oh
there are number more attached as safety
ropes Timid lady-But if they all break,
where shall we go? Conductor-Oh, well ,m'm,
ludt all uepenus Oh WDdI KIM Ol lie you
have been living before e,"s SJiings.
"A worldly father, after the style of Lord
Chesterfield is giving good advice to his son
who is about to enter society. "And, above
all, avoid frtations. But if you must flirt
or fall in love, be sure that it is with n pretty
woman. 1t is always safer" "Why 2"
Because some other fellow will he sure to
be attracted and cut you out before any harm
has been done"
-"My DEAR" said a newly married young
woman to her wealthy but iliterate husband,
"do you know think we ought TO give
german? ?" "Well, ifyou think so, that set
ties it," replied the fond husband. "How
much will it COST" about a thousand dol
lars" "All right; go ahead. don't MUD
the cost, but Pm blcsstd if | can see what You
want to give german for when neither of
us understand the language"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
COnjugal Brutality.

"Charles, dear" said a charming little lit.
erary lady to her husband the other evening,
"let me read you the opening chapter of my
new novel,"
Certainly" replied Charles, II should be
delighted"
well, then, sit still and listen: Twas
evening. A huge, inky cloud"
"Blue ink ?" interrupted Charles.
mo, sir"
Violet ink, mebbe,"
mo, 1t was"
"Red ink, for Instance"
Charles, you know"
Perhaps it was that delicate, fashionable
mauve ink y
New Charles, don't"
"Mebbe it was green ink, like Arnold's
copying fluid"
why, you horrid creature, you When
speak Of anything having an inky appear
ance, what impression does 1t make on you p
"Same as botting pad, my love. j take
! 1t all in. Go on with the narrowing scene.os
"Charles, you are brute" and the little
literary lady flounced out of the room, and
Charles bawled back after her; ls7'''
"Come back, my love, am sitting still.a
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04

In the Delaaoare Farmers report of a meet
ing of Fruitland Grange of that State we
find the following:
ut was considered of no advantage to pro-
cure seed corn west of the Mississippi, as the
experience that many of our members have
had in growing corn here was not satisfacto-
ry for seed procured in the north or west.
Our corn was considered pure enough if the
proper care aud attention would be exercised
in saving the seed; the proper time to select
the seed for the following crop was when
cribbing the corn in the fall, and its proper
care during the winter, While this was
generally advocated, to the question how
many practiced this manner of saving the
seed there was but one response, showing
conclusively that the complaints made by
farmers about impure seed corn and difficult
ty in getting stand were due to their own
carelessness in great measure in selecting
their seed"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
The Lonesomest Man in the World.

Dave Walker, of Anderson's store, was
one of the best North Carolina soldiers that
Lee had. Dave was in Richmond some time
since, and sitting at night in the St. James
hotel he heard fellow with cooked hat on
baking everybody nearly to death about the
war. He said he had been colonel. Final
ly he drew seat up to Dave and asked him
If he was in the war. Dave said, "Yes, he
was there"
"What position did you hold 9'
"None, sir" said Dave Il reckon Pm the
lonesomest man in the world p.
"Ah, why SOP" asked the colonel.
"Why," said Dave, II was private in the
war, and am the only one have ever seen
sincen I'll.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
2netical.
A SOLLUM FAC.
BY TILE REV. PLATO IouNso

BY THE REV. PLATO JOHNSON.
VERY funny Teller is de ole plantation mule;
And nobody IL play, wild him unless he is a fool.
De bestest ting to do wen you medtates about
Is kinder sorter calkerlatc you II get along Wild
out him.
Wen you try to. to 'proach dat mule from de
He looks as meek as Moses, but his looks is full
OBJ lies;
He doesn't move muscle, he doesn't even wink;
And you say his dispositions better'n people
An you almost see a nevolent expression on his
face:
But dat 'nevolent expression is de mask dats
For de debbil is benin 1t jest as sure as you is
born.
Den you cosset him little, an you pat his other
And you has a reveratlon dat he aint so much
You has made a big mistake; but before de heart
repentS,
Yous histed very sudden on de odder side de
fence.t
Well, you feel like you'd been standin' on de
locomotive track
An de engine cum an hit you in de middle of de
back;
An you don't know what has happened, you kin
scarcely cotch your breff
But you tink you've made the quaintance OBJ O
VERY vi'lent def.
DE MoRRIL OBJ ALL DIS.
Now q sin in de soul is precisely like de mule;
An nobodyll play wild it, unless he is fool.
1t looks so mighty inherent; but honey, dear,
bewarel
For although de kick is hiddin, de kick is alters
there.
*Ef I'd come to dat 'cusion twenty years ago
wouldn't been lame to-day.
tDat's wat | said, but knows better now.
II went up bout fourteen feet an wen land.
L tangled i
bout dat mule but it wouldn't sound we'll in q
poem, so left it out.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
The Egis and Intelligencer
Is PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY BY
f. w B A K E r.
TermS-& so Year In Advance.

TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS Square, 3
insertions or less 80. Each subsequent insertion,
rs cents. Longer advertisements in the same pro-
portion. space equal to six lines makes square.
Fgure-work double price.
Obituaries and Personal Communications will
be inserted at ten cents per line.
eB- Yearly advertisements at special rates.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04

SPARE THE BIRDS Birds have wonderful
lappetites. Ii has been calculated that red
breast requires daily an amount Of food equal
to an earth worm fourteen feet long, As.
suming sasuage nine inches in circum-
ference TO be a fair equivalent for man OF
earth worm for the bird, Prof. Wood finds
that man would have to consume sixty
seven feet of such sausages in every twenty.
four hours in order TO eat rs much in proper.
tion to HE bulk as the redbreast. Prof.
Wood offers this as an illustration Of the
amount of work which is done by insect
eating birds. el'
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04

ANSWER Tins Can you find q case of
Bright's Disease of! the Kidneys, Diabetes,
Urinary or Liver Complaints that is durable,
that Hop Bitters has not or can not cure
Ask your neighbors ifthey can,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-04-04
l.5O PER ANNUM.
6au Street Column.

A Comfortable Omnibus Will be found
waiting at the Mary land Central Depot,
fnlBaltimore, TO convey passengers Free
Of Charge to Old Town. Return tickets
to the station will be furnishe by any
member of the Old Town Merchants As
ISOLATION.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-02-21
Wall Street a Good Enough Place for
Jay Gould.

his ROSE COLOR VIEW OF THE FINANCIAL SITUATION.
new YORK, Feb. 81, WALL STREET, l2m.-Jay
Gould was interviewed last night In regard to the
rumOr that he was going south. He said: / have
no intention OF leaving the city. Wall street Is a
good enough place for me. The market is moving
satisfactorily. The advance is no longer caused by
manipulation. There is a legitimate demand for
stocks from outside sources. The public has
steadily absorbed dividend stocks until now there
are few good stocks in the street. People are hold
ing their dividend stocks because they would not
Know what to do with the money 1r they sold them
me fallure or McGinniS Bros caused good deal OF
selling, Dut only short stock, which Is being bought
back. l have never IN all my experience been
oollge0 10 take SO few stocks in bulling the mar
ket as during the present time. Mr.. Val. 1, rbilt
Tells me that his experience is the same The
situation outside OF Wall street Is by uo means
bearish. have taken and am taking special pains
TO Inform myself on this matter. General business
Is improving. and railroads are generally making
money. The Northern Pacitics are no loncer a
cloud over the market They are all right The
winding up OF Oregon Trans. has never been dis
cuSSed by the directors. Wabash. during the first
week OF February, earned S9G00 more than the
same week OF last year. and gained $4,000 for the
second week. The Southwest earning, for the same
time show an Increase. During JANUARY the South
west made decrease the first half, and all increas,
the second half OF the month.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-02-21
Distress i'm the Deluged Districts.

SAD REPORTS OF DEsTITUTIoN BY THE OFFICERS on
THE GOVERNMENT RELIEF STEAMER KATIE STOCK
DALE
PoMERoY, O., Feb 21-The original plan OF the
United States relief steamer Katie Stockdaie To
proceed direct from huntington West Virginia to
the sufferers I'm Pomeroy Bend was altered on
account or signs OF distress and signals for aid
that met the steamer on every side. As she took
her course up stream on Tuesday morning men
and women came out and waved signals from the
banks. The seventies OF the flood are felt now
more than ever. Even people having money say
they cannot buy, for there Is nothing TO purchase
The run OF the Katie StOckdale on Tuesday was
through about fifty miles OF the country west from
Gallipolis 1t is stretch OF the river containing
many small towns. but no railroads or telegraphs
until Point Pleasant, West Virginia, is reached
Apart from the scattered sections OF farming
bottoms the foot OF the neighbOring range OF hills
is narrow and the people OF the towns are chiefly
devoted to numbering and barrel making Their
mills and log and SJave bolts have been swept
away. Many OF their houses are gone, their stores
no longer exist, and they know not where to turn
barrel factories and twenty houses. Alfalfa,
Ohio, with a population OF 800, lost barrel
factory, and all Its houses but one went out on
the hood Proctorsville, West Virginia, lost
tition OF the same story In numerous places i'm the
district mentioned. The river is just lrting its
tion. There is much farming land still under
water. The celebrated Quaker bottoms are still
Overfiowed.
Seven houses were lost on Jenkins Bottoms. On
the West Virginia side, including the home OF the
widow OF fex-confederate Gen. jenkins. short piece
below Jenkins Bottom, In a bit OF a bend. were
Not far above, on the island, was house that had
noated there and was still in good condition with
It's furniture In it. The steamer StOckdae left pro-
visions at Redwood, OHIO, for 50 families; at Brad
dock, Ohio, for 25 at Guyandotte, W. Va, for CO., at
Proctorsv1lle, Ohio, for Is; at Quakers Bottom
Ohio, for u; at Cox's Landing, Ohio, for 40; at
at Glenwood, w. Va, for 80, and at Point Pleasant
Ohio, where, at night, strong gale overlook her.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-02-21
The City OF Columbus InvextiRaviou.

BOSTON, MASS, Feb. 2l:-In the City OF Columbus
Investigation Diver Olsen gave his testimony as 10
Ihe condition OF the hull and the location of the
rocks on which she struck. which facts have been
heretofore published capt Maynard Blarce. OF
tile steamship GlaucuS. testified: The GlaucilS
passed half mile from the north shore or the
sound. or four miles from the Devils bridge lie
was In the pllot house and saw a wrecked vessel
ana recognized her as the City OF Columbus from
ner top-nasts and the position or her smoke Stack
uiu not see any one on board OF the
wreck; looked through the glass but could
see no one We supposed that all on board
were lost or safe ashore 10y that tine could see the
water breaking over the wreck had no reason for
passing the wreck other than that We SAW no one
there; saw no signs OF life signals OF Distress
dld not think II my duty then 10 examine the
wreck; can see things in a different light now:
would nave been glad TO have rendered aid II we
ii nal thought we could have saved life. There
were I'VE or SIX persons in the pilot house OF the
GlauclS, all or whom looked at the wreck through
the glass; no one made any suggestion about going
10 The wreck. The ship was rolling heavily and the
glasses coulc not be kept steadily fixed any one
OpJect, une glasses We're used tor half an hour Ii
would nave only taken us hail hour or less out OF
our course 10 nave Steered close the wreck: had
never oeen repr1manded for making slow passage.
could see the maStS OF the wreck and could see the
Jlb flying In the wind. There was no suggestion
from anyone that anyone was alive on board
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-02-21

NATIONAL IHEATER
GRAND ITALIAN OPERA
ENGAGEMENT FOR FOUR NIGHTS ONLY
COMMENCING
MONDAY FNENINti. FEBRUARY o5
MIR. HENRY F. iBBEl'S
METROPOLITAN OPERA HOUSE. NEW YORK.
MOTDAY EvEXiN;i. IEBKu AEY 25.
Supported by Si2Ors Cinr.,.iri SCyara Contini and
- SgnCr Has Imam (iiS tf-: appearance here).
Mestames Sca.chl L&la., aid Nine. Christine Nils
TUESDAY EVE<tNG. FEBRUARY 26,
LUCIA
supported by S2nors Sjo tbIs E, 81 appearance here
- AlIg1rr, FOrIsrl. q rizZt and S-rOr Del PIIente.
Mile fOrtl and Nine. Na-cri Inbrch cher ap-
- Iya-s.Iice Nssilinet0nl-
WEDNESDAY EVFSI>tr FEBRUARY o.
la GIUCDNDi.
Supported ~ Sig y a.l-o SOEara algier. Grazzi,
CCntni. Barrier and De furIt. Mines tursch- Alaeii
Scalc.i and NIr Nilsson The lci. l:.tl
viii Oe SUPPORTED by Ge Cava!alZi li Corps Ballet
THURSDAY ENE\iNt.. FI.Bi.U AIRY rs
Don GIOEAN
Au:er and D~l i'ie,e. Mines Scalchi. Fursch- Madi
and Nile. Vaerla-
SCALE OF PRICES:
SUBSCRIPTION parable the season Of
fOCR Ol-rd -.lSi-t>-tlanxe Cf Opera Eiyhtly-r Ii
Sale coinnIe;.C- NcI.iay D. l. H. and Orpues
two days. al Metl'rott's M'.sic Store.
Sale fC~ slL.l~ performance Thursday
Feb u al I;ICL>. s.. 81. 81 and 81 kser1 I'd
according to location.
General Admission s3. s.. and /.
c. II. MAT HENS, MARCUS r. MAYER
Treasurer business Manager