The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-03-21
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

The shoe trade ought to be a good |
one, for it is generally believed that ar
ticles of foot gear are soled before they
are placed in the store. OIL City Der
rick.
Was early man savage?" asks a
magazine writer. That depends. Ii
the early man was dressing to catch the
four a m. train, and his collar button
fell behind the bureau, the probabilities
are that he was about as savage as they
make .-A0r7lSt0lCR Herald.
Il preserve my equilibrium under
all circumstances, y she was heard to
say in pause of the music to the tow
headed youth who was her-escort. ''Do
you?' he aswered softly; mother cans
hers" Then the music resumed
Chicago Times.
81 see that statistics show that the
average of human life is increasing,
said an American TO an Englishman.
Jaw, WEAKLY? But that's bad for the
ladies, " know" why sop BE
cause, b Jove, aw, no woman would
like to ave her age increasing all the
time, v know IN Y. Graphic.
A ..masher'' is said to be composed
of the following ingredients: Bi-car-
Donate of cheek, $50, $50; essence OF
! gall. 2, $50; mira of stare, 1000: tincture
Of conceit, $500; oXatate OF collar; go;
acetate OF toothpick shoes, 261; sulphate
of smirk, 500 chloride of cOat-tail, .0O2;
cyanide of brain-doubtful- .0Ol; total,
| 1000 Detroit Post.
A little Scotch boy while amusing
himself fell into the harbor, and as ht
could not swim, would have beer
drowned had not bystander jumped
in and rescued him. On reaching dry
land he expressed his gratitude to hi
deliverer, adding, I'm glad We got MT
DOT. What licking | wad hae got fra
ms mither if had been drooned. IN
Y. News
| Walt Whitman, speaking of Amer
lean poetry, says: "Ihlnk OF the ar
sence and ignorance, in all cases hItt
erto. of the vast ensemble, multitudl
nousness. vitality and the unprecedente
stimulants of to-day and here. W
frequently think of it. We sometime
get up at midnight to think Of it. W
also think of those things in all the
multitudinosIty, in connection with I'll
stimulants of yesterday and there
NorriStoWn Herald.
..Gentlemen,n said the professor
n his medical students assembled in clini
Il have often pointed out to you II
$ remarkable tendency to consumption
those who play upon wind instrument
In this case now. before us we have
t. | well-marked development OF lung dl
ease. and was not surprised to find, {
t. questioning the patient, that he IS
8. member of u brass band Now, SIT
continued the professor, addressing Il
consumptiye. will you please tell 4
gentlemen what instrument you pi
on?'' Il plays der drum, said t
re sick MANN Y. San.
y: -.'How did you come down from
al Louise asked an Austin gentleman
,r the avenue OF an old acquaintance
Al. vaprhnt proclivities and illuminat
,g, olfactories, Il came down on limit
nd ticket" exclaimed the acquaintan
as with a knowing wink thrown over t
left shoulder in the direction OF a sal
mash bazaar. .'What is limited ticket
inquired the Austin man, accepting
&. hint, and moving of in the direction
the saloon indicated Limited to
AZ outside passage" Outside passa!
N fail to comprehend. | still grol
Perhaps / am obtuse' why, an o
q eide passage is the right to perambul'
the cross-tieS and count the exact M
"a her Of them in a mile. firms Sittjn