The Bossier banner., 1884-06-19

UOUai depfaYley OF lnanImate things.
There. was nothing to do but repair |
the ladder The placing of the bird
boxes on the tree had retired farther in !
the distance than ever. / said then to
myself: 81 wonder where this under
taking will carry me ere it is finished ?
What new thing shall find necessary
to incorporate into this job? Perhaps
it may bring me to the repairing of my
hen-coop. 1t may take me to the city
to get some needed article. 1t may
carry me to Europe. may be obliged
to consult with lawyers and iurists, all
through some indirect operation or
development growing out of this blue
bird box business. 1t has already cost
me two and half hours labor, and l
expected to accomplish it in thirty min
utes." But am now prepared for war
| will devote the whole day to this un-
dertaking perchance two whole days.
repaired the ladder carefully, nail
ing braces both within and without the
broken upright placed it in position
and mounted it, carrying a bird box
with me. Arrived at the ladders top I
found | could not climb the tree to the
spot where l desired to nail the box
with the box in my hands. So [ went
down the ladder again and placed the
box on the ground. Then ] went up
the ladder so far as it reached, and
heneeforth took to climbing. More OBJ
stacles presented themselves. Branches
got directly in the way. Twigs
scratched my face and tried to put out
my eyes. Bits of rotten branches and
dry bark dislodged and fell into my
eyes. There was more cutting away
to be done. / descended the ladder for
my hatchet, got it, and trimmed road
up the tree. All as l supposed being
ready, l descended again for the box
and remounted. 1t was necessary to
take with me q hammer, a gimlet and
some nails. I tied the hammer about
my neck with cord and put the nails
and gimlet in my vest pocket. Arrived
at the place where Iwould nail the box,
/ found it necessary to use the hatchet.
Common sense or a few seconds
thought might have taught me that as
the hatchet would probably be needed
again it should have been stuck by the
blade in the tree. No. I had pitched
it from the tree on the ground. So 1
went down the ladder again for the
hatchet.
These continual ascents and descents
began now to alarm me. They seemed
endless, and at the present rate could
vaguely see more and more in the dim
distance of futurity before the boxes
were fastened.
| finished with the hatchet and was
turning the current of my thoughts on
the hammer when, that instrument
being tied, so to speak, by the neck,
suddenly as 1 leaped over branch
turned somersault, slipped through
the knot and fell straight to the ground.
1t fell wonderfully straight through the
branches, and on reaching the ground
lay there with a dull, sullen sscome
down-from-ther and -piek-me-upn ex-
preston.
/ did not come down Immediately. ]
! leaned over the branch and swore at
that hammer. But it did not rise.
Then it occurred to me how amusing all
this might be to any third party who
had nothing to do but look on and see
the performance. / said: ''Why should
| not be the third partyP" But re.
minded myself that the third party had
nothing to do but sit down and be
amused, whereas / had all these per.
petual ascensions and descensions to
make besides being amused. The con
tract was too large. | could not be
thoroughly amused and do all the work
i besides. So I descended again with
what patience could summon.
picked the hammer up. | wanted tt
wiring its neck. But what comes from
wringing a hammers neck? Naugh
save the necessity of buying new
hammer.
The hammer was picked up as it de
sired to be. Again I climbed the lad
der. In the midst of an apparently
speedy dispatch OF the labors a new
trouble presented ITSELF The tree haC
changed its tactics and called new
allv to its aid.
This ally was hen-one of my hens
NV back door and only door had beer
left open. This hen had entered, wa
on my table consuming the remains o
my breakfast and threatening destruc
ton with her awkward legs and claw
to my crockery. 1t is this partieula
hen that annoys me in this way NOR,
than all the rest. While they are OF
foraging in the field she hangs arounC
that back door bent On thieving ant
plumber.
I cried out "Shoo!" from above sew
eral times to no purpose. She wouldn'
''shoo!'' She paid me no respectful at
tention whatever. She knew vel
enough she had plenty of time to clea
out of the house before l could ge
down from the tree. made her sew
eral threatening remarks. She cooked
up one eye, winked in contempt
out manner, and calmly went on peck
ing. threw several tWigs in the hous
to no purpose. / descended the ladde
and wrathfully drove her out. Sh
went out as hens general do from an,
pent up place. by the longest possibl
way, with great risk to window pane
and fragile articles from her flutterin!
wings, and with a great cackle and out
CRY, as if she deemed it an outrageou
proceeding on my part thus to disturb
her while peacefully engaged in con
verting the breakfast scraps into fresl
eggs for my own use, which cackle am
ouIcry was re-echoed by the hea
roosters of her community in the field