davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1884-06-16

paneoaf&S g b II baben in
oieler Gaiion oas gei6madnolife Eager
in 6errens9oiletteartifeln, bas ie bier
mar.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
Uncle Nose Anti-MononoIY

"Say, Uncle Nose" said young Jack
Snow as he met the old man, ''who am
dis auntymonop'ly heerd some OBJ de
folks talkin' about?'
''Hush chile, doan 90 'roun' 'spo' sen
yer ign'rence like dat. Aunty- mon
op'ly amt nobody, but jes wat sum
people b'leeves."
'How's dat?"
"Why. yer see, wien man has all
der is. dat's monopoly. An we'en you
doan b'leeve in one man habin' all der
is, dat's aunty-monop'ly."
How'd dey git to calm him dat
way, Uncle Nose? Doan peer to hab
much sense in hit, no way"
"Now jes hole ON, and let me 'splain
Dere was Il ole nigger name Monopoly,
and he had power o chickens. An
dere war ole Aunty Monopoly as hadn' t
none, and she war posed to old Mon
opoly habin' all dem pullets he's own
self. OATS de way hit first started, an
now W w'eneber Il man hab all dey is,
dey says he's ole Monopoly. an wen
anudder one amt got nothin' and
wants to divide. den dey say he's ole
Aunty-monop'ly."
''ls you fer Aunty-monop'ly. Uncle
Mose?''
Now, see yer, chile. dis am a mat
tab OBJ princerple. l'se got lot oh
chickens an COW, darfo', ON de
chicken and COW question IL. mon-
op'ly. But Roschile, he hab bank,
an a railrode, darfo', on the bank an
railrode question Pze Aunty-
ebery time. Dis yer fling am a mattah
OBJ princerple "-Ierds SiftinQs.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
A Fair Offer.

A few days ago farmer drove up to
the door of Springwells saloon and
called out to several men standing
around that neighbor of his living
about four miles away had fallen into
the family well and probably killed
himself.
.Well, what of it?" asked one of the
men.
.Why, l want two or three of you to
ride out with me and help get the body
out"
'.For how much?'
"You don't pretend to want pay for
such an action as that!" gasped the
farmer, but they said they did, and he
entered the saloon to see if the owner
was not more tender-hearted.
Il tells you how it vhas -" began
the saloonist, but he was interrupted
with:
Don't tell me that you won't lend
hand in such q case as this!'
Il can't 90, my frendt, but | tells
you how it. vhas. l let you drink beer
until you doan' care two cents for all
der farmers und all der wells in
America, und den l hire n poy for two
shillings to drive you home. Dot yhas
der pest | can do to-day"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
Something About Mothers-in-LaW.

She meeteth her son-in-law ut the
door when the new clock tolleth four
teen, and as he essayeth to let himself
into the hall by unlocking the front
gate with his watch key. And for this,
ofttimes he feareth her.
She knoweth his ways and his tricks
are not new unto her. She is up to all
his excuses, and when he sayeth he
was detained down at the bank until
the next morning;
Or, that the last car had gone, and
he had to walk;
Or, that he was sitting up with
sick friend
Or, that he was looking for his collar
button;
Or, that he was drawn on the jury
Or, that he had joined the astronomy
class;
Or, that his books wouldn't balance;
Then doth she get onto him with both
feet. for she sayeth within herself:
'.All these things hath his father-in-
law said unto me, for 10, these many
years. No, this is also vanity and vex-
alton of spirit"
And for this he feareth her yet more
and more.
Why, what this country needs to
keep it from going to the bow-wows is
few more mothers-in-law of the good,
old-fashioned school to stand between
young housckeepers and a greedy
world. A home without q mother-in-
law is home without it's guardian
angel.
There never was but one home es-
tablished without a mother-in-law. And
that seems to have been mistake.
That mother-in-lawless home walked
right into trouble, as the sparks fly up
ward. 1t went right out into the or
chard and ordered fruit for two, and
got all the rest of us into more trouble
than all the good mothers-in-law of to-
day can ever get US out of. Away with
all this outrageous abuse of the moth
er-in-law. Have you no sense of graft
tude. young man? Do you love your
wife? Oh, most devotedly. Well,
then, where would you have got your
wife had it not been for your mother
in-law?
And another thing, young man.
Some day, when you are saying smart
things about your mother-in-law, sit
down and fasten the tackle of your
brilliant intellect upon the subject, and
do not let go of it until you have
calmly, honestly impartially studied
the question in all its bearings: MY
wife-how about her mother-in-law?"
Burlington Hd,Ckeyc.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
A Washington ShYlOck.

AS Mr.. Hardup Erasor is not pos
sessed of any real estate, whereupon
he can put an improvement in the
shape of n mortgage in time of tinan-
cial need he is compelled to have re-
course to brokers. Last week Mr..
Hardup needed some money, and after
persuading friendly CrHsus to
scratch his name on the back of q note,
Mr.. Hardup made his way to brokers' )
Office.
Il want to get 5000 for six months, I"
said Mr.. Hardup.
Very good" responded the broker;
'who is your indorser?"
Mr.. Hardup showed the note. The
broker took it and counted him out
eighty dollars"
1.What's this?" queried Mr.. Hardup.
This is the amount minus my dis
count"
'.Well," said Mr.. Hardup. ''you are
wonderfully kind; but will you tell me
what | would have gotten if l had
wanted the money for year?"
Gotten" said the broker; "why,
you wouldn't have received anything.
You would have had to pay me forty
dollars"
Mr.. Hardup took his note back, and
as he went out 10 find another lender
the broker went into the next room to
see if the earth was still there with q
string tied TO it.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

''One of the most interesting features
of Japanese life to me, says recent
traveller to New York Star reporter,
''was the manner of living in the boats
and junks, thousands of which frequent
every bay along the coast. The awk-
ward junks always belong to the
members of one family, and usually
every branch of the family, old and
young. live on board.
1.-The smaller sailboats are made like
a narrow fatboat and the sail Qhey
never have but one) is placed very
near the stern, and extends from the
mast about the same distance in either
direction. e., the mast runs up the
middle of the sail when it is spread. .
'1n these little boats men are born
and die, without ever having an abid-
ing-place on shore. Women and all
are nearly naked, except in rains.
when they put on layers of fringy straw
mats, which give them the appearance
of being thatched. At night, if in har-
Dor, they bend poles over the boat from
side to side in the shape of bow. and
cover them with this straw. water
tight fringe, and go to sleep altogether
like lot of pigs.
"A child three years old can swim
like a fish, and often children who will
not learn of their own accord are re-
peatedly thrown overheard until they
become expert swimmers. In the har-
bors children seem to be perpetually
tumbling overheard, but the mothers
deliberately pick them out of the water,
and cutting them little, go on with
their work. 1t is really astonishing at
what age these boys and girls learn to
scull boat.
IL have seen n boat twenty feet long
most adroitly managed by three chill
dren, all under seven years of age. l
am told that, Notwithstanding their
aptness at swimming, many boatmen
get drowned, for no boat ever goes to
another's aid; nor will any boatman
save another from drowning, because,
as he says, it is all fate, and he who in
terferes with fate will be severely pun
ished in some way. Besides this, the
saving of boatman's life only keeps q
chatting soul so much longer in purga-
tory, when it ought to be released by
the death of the sailor, which the gods,
by fate, seem to have selected for the
purpose.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
The South Sea Islanders.

Occasionally at Honolulu one sees
consignment of South Sea islanders
from the Feejees, the New Hebrides,
and the navigator group GALL whilom
cannibal islands) freshly landed from
a sailing ship and lying about in a sort
of shambles at the docks. Nothing to
which we are accustomed resembles
this race in brutality of aspect and low
animal type of humanity. The men
are low of stature, sinewy, sturdy, with
black skins, wool. strong large teeth,
CLASSY eyes, half-famished look, and
an appearance of rare cunning and fe-
rocity. Their ears are often studded
with human teeth, their wool dressed
with sharks teeth, while their own
white teeth glisten in the sunshine like
ivory. Indeed there is an unmistakable
air of cannibalism all about them. The
women are fat, oily, animal looking,
an: indecent. In fact, it is matter of
s,i prise to American and Sandwich
islander alike, to see such gross, vul-
gar. cruel, murderous wretches, lit
only for their own savage state,
brought to these settled shores for the
purpose of employment upon the sugar
plantations, to labor side by side with
Intelligent Chinese, Portuguese, and
Hawaiians.
1t is no wonder that several of these
brutes are lying in the dungeons of the
prison on the reef, guilty and convict
ed of the vilest and most revolving
classes of crimes. But even such mis-
cradle creatures long for their homes
and freedom, and are willing to risk
their restitution with their lives. Only
a few days before | sailed from Homo
lulu band of these wild men broke
from their quarters at night on the
island of Man, and, seizing L small
boat, quickly put out to sea, in the
vain, foolish hope of regaining their
native islands and the companionship
of their cannibal brothers a couple of
thousand miles away.
On the whole, however, it is better TO
bring these uncivilizable savages to the
Sandwich islands for the experiment of
Christianization rather than to send
wholesome missionaries to them in
their own Cannibal islands, with the
chance ahead of being summarilv con-
verted into ragouts for the dainty,
tooth of heather but hungry chief
and that of his smiling squaws and in
vitcd guests, TO the monotonous music
of drum corps of tOm-toms.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

Whar's dat roos er fotch home las
nite?" growled Nose, as he entered his
little hut.
Dunno" answered his wife, ''but
eff de preacher spoke de trufe, you'll
nebber see i'm no mo-"
Nose wheeled quickly and gasped:
'AWhut did he sa' ?"
''He sed las Sunday dat chickun s d
kun homo to roos'; an specs he
knowed what he wuz talkin' bout
How'd he know whar l got dat
roos'erP"
Dunno dat needer; l jes' tell you
his own words"
Nose walked suddenly of, growl-
ing: "Ef things keep II gwine on dis
wa, dar amt no chance lef' fer de po'
nigger, an l bets q dollar dat some
slabsided preacher am n tixin' hisself
fer n fus' class funeral, kase amt dc
man TO STAN an hab my karacter
spilled, an in de chu' 'ch, too"
Thus talking he strolled out in
search of another roost.-Attanta Con-
StiLtLLiOH
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

Charles Howard, the millionaire of
Vermont, is to leave $1,000 900 to his
niece, Mrs. Evans, the wife of the
wealthy Partisan dentist. Evans is al
ready several times millionaire, and
this will be a pretty addition to his
fortune, which is increasing at the rate
of hundreds of thousands yearly. 1t is
generally supposed that he made the
most of his fortune in filling teeth. But
this is mistake, as the following talk
with one of the oldest dentists in the
United States, a man who was years
ago connected with one of the imperial
courts of Europe, will show:
'Dr. Evans" said the gentleman,
''was born in Lancaster county,
Pennsylvania, and he started life as
jewelers. apprentice in Lancaster, the
anne town in which Buchanan began
life as young lawyer. He went to
Paris as a dentist in a few years.
"When did he become court dentist?"
Il do not know the time, he says,
understand. he was filling Eugenie's 8
teeth when Louis Napoleon came to his
Office for some dental work, and that
here the two met, and from that meet
ing afterward sprang their marriage.
Napoleon owed much TO Evans in
many ways. You know he saved the
life of Eugene one night as she left the
Grand opera-house, and an attempt
was made to assassinate Napoleon by
throwing hand grenades. He after
ward aided Eugenie in escaping to En-
gland, and went with her in 1870. AT
this time everyone else had deserted
the empress, and she fled to DR.. Evans
house. The doctors wife was at the
seashore, and Eugene dressed in Mrs.
Evans clothing, was passed off by Ev-
ans rs his wife, and driven in his own
carriage to the Norman coast. Thence
they got boat to England.
''Dr. Evans" this gentleman went
on. sis worth several millions, and he
has a grand palace in Paris. His office
practice in the Rue de la Paix nets him
probably $50, 900 year, but this is not
how he has made the most of his mon
ev. When Napoleon was president of
the republic he was quite poor. He
died very wealthy, and much of his
money was made through Evans. Ma
polcon knew what action was geing to
be taken on public matters, and he also
knew how this would affect stocks. If
he could use his information in buying
and selling he could make large sums
easily. But it would not do for Ma
polon to be connected with broker.
There must be some trusty go-between,
added to safe banker. Evans, l am
told by good authority, was the go-be-
tween, and his position as dentist
enabled him to do it to the best ad-
vantage. He had access to Napoleon
at all hours, and he was the only one
who could take precedence over the
cabinet and everyone else. He attend
ed him at his toilet at o'clock in the
morning. and was on as close terms
with Eugenie as with Louis Napoleon.
''One day Eugene said to him: 'Dc.
Evans, at IL o'clock tomorrow an
order will be issued withdrawing the
troops from Rome" Evans at once
went to the broker and invested in GER
tain securities which he knew would be
affected. At II o'clock the next day,
after the order was issued, these Sc
curities went up like shot, and Evans
made 100000. OF course, Eugene
came in for her share of the money.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

Old man Sam Kalleton was doubtless
one of the most ardent legislators
known TO the history of Arkansaw.
Every bill introduced by well dressed
man, he looked on him with suspicion,
and never failed to suggest an amend
mcnt One morning. after night S
carousal, he entered the legislative hall
just rs the chaplain was asking divine
aid. The old man took chew of to-
bacco and listened attentively until the
chaplain closed his petition with an
effective recitation of the Lords prayer.
''Mr. Speaker" said the old man,
arising, Il move To strike out the
words daily bread ;knd insert 'as
much bread as may be found necessary
for twenty days. We haYe already
done enough for the flood sufferers. y
A1.BunSnlD Traveller
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

A correspondent writes from Paris:
"But of all the balls. the most curl
Gus are the beggars' balls. Notwith-
standing the troubles and trials they
have to endure through the day. when
evening comes they dance, and are as
as happy and merry us though they
were rich and perfectly free. They
have their halls, ard meet for pleasure
three times n week; and, contrary to
the general belief. they are reported to
be exceedingly moderate in eating and
drinking. even those whose pockets are
well filled with pennies gathered during
the day. The medley of blind. lame,
paral,zad, one-armed and deformed
persons ut these balls is one of the
siUhts of Paris -
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
TRAINS WESTWARD.

Trains Nos, g. d and - on Main Line and
Mahoning Division run daily, and between
Cfevel and ami Pittsburg daily. other trains
daily except Sunday.
Pullman Palace Sleeping Coaches run as fol.
lows:
On Nos anca. between Chicago and Hor
nellsVitle. via Marion and Chicago \ Atlantic
halfway. Parlor Cars between Cincinnati and
Gallon. and between Hornellsville and New
York.
an Nos 3 and IL between Cincinnati and New
York between Chicago, New York, Albany
and Boston. via Marion and Chi ago & Allan
tic Ry., mo sleeper between A lbany and Boston
Coach between Chicago and New York. via
Mansfield and +. f. W. u q. ky., (E 4 q. Line)
On Nos and 5. New Fast lrains) between
Cleveland and New York, and Pullman I'raw-
ing Room Buffet Sleeping and Hotel Coaches
between st, Louis and New York in connection
with o. u NJ. Ry
CONNECTIONS:-AtC Cincinnati with roads
diverging; at Marion with Chicago 4 Atlantic
Ry.; at Mansfield with the p. F. W. Il G. ky;
at Creston with Wheeling & Lake Erie K. X :;
at Leavittsburg, with Mahoning Division OF
N. Y. +. u .. K r.. Ior Cleveland, Youngstown
and Pittsburg.a and local points; at Cleaveland
with roads diverging; at Shenango with g. 4
ut Cory, with X. y. Y y L. r., and Penna
90 !; at jamestown with b. Il S. w, for Buffalo
AMI Niagara Falls; at Salamanca with N. Y.
l.. K. y w. X. r. and X, Il T. r. II.
No"stop-over'' allowed loon local tickets
A. f, CLARK,
General Passenger and Ticket Agent,
CLEvELAND,O.
j. M FERRIS,
Geaeral Superintendent.
Gle VELAED. 0
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
HOW He Does Ii.

Sharp clerk-Thcre is beautiful
piece of goods, miss. 1t will make up
very handsome, and am sure will be-
come either you or your sister.
Lady purchaser; ~ blIshingIWhy- ing
trust to your judgment. Suppose you
cut me off twenty yards.
AS they are leaving the store-Why.
mamma, why didn't you tell him 1 wa2
your
Lady-Hush. Do be still. Maud.
You chatter so continually.
Sharp clerk to a man at lace counter
Did you see me work her? Twenty
per cent on that; it's that stuff Isft
over from last spring.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
LEGAL NOTICE.

A RChIE MILLER, who resides in Buffalo,
"A New York. will tale notice that Enoch
Morgan. Executor of estate of Jacob Rartle-
rhode, did on the 2aIh day of December 1852
hle his petition in the Common Pleas Court OF
setting forth that as such Executor he holds
certain personal property for distribution un-
der the will Of said Jacob Hart lerhOde and
praying Tor an order of distribution of same,
he said Archie iller being legatee, and Ior
"A construction of said will and equitable lief
Said Archie Miller is required 10 ansW err said
petition on or before My 3rd lsH4
ENbCII MORGAN EXT
BY l. Il. SIDDALL. ATTY s1i Gw
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
----S SS"-------
Bucklen'S Arnica SalVo.

The BEST SALvE in the world for
cuts, bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum,
fever sores, tetter, chapped hands, chill
blains, corns, and all skin eruptiOns,
and positively cures piles. 1t is guar
anteed to give perfect satisfaction, or
money refunded. Price 25 cents per
box. For sale by G.. P. Reed. Ravenna
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
A Public Benefactor.
w IN. III. Steiner, vi e M Der of tn e Ed
itOriaI Stair of the New York
Herald; also eX.COm ns ion.
-


er of Excise5 New YORK
CIty, 4S Ann ST., Says:
DIR. M. Nj. FENNER, Frcdonia n. Y Dear
Sir-l have been great sufferer from Bilious
ness, Nervous Irritation and Dyspepsia for
years. My friend. Hon. II. e Lake. of the
New YorA Custom House, induced me to try
your Blood and Liver Remedy and Nerve Tonic
BY the SC of two bottles have realized COM
plctc estoration to health. 1 look upon it as
the greatest remedy of the age, and upon you.
as the compoundcr OF the same as public ben
cIactOl." 4"
FROM THE NEW YORK TRIBUNE.
New York Tribune. New York,
DIR. Nj. NJ FENNER. Fredonii, n. Y.-Dear
Sir:-Pleasc Sc. d me two more bottles of your
Blood and Liver Remedy and Nerve Tonic. My
wife has been taking it and it has done her
good.
Yours truly, G. A. TRACY.
Completely and entirely cleanses the
blood, relieves BilliOusness, Constipa-
ton and headaches; cleans out and
heals the entire stomach and bowels
breaks up and cures Agues and form
ing Fevers cures pimples, skin erup-
tiOnS aud skin diseases; removes bad
breath; is an antidOte for the Blues
sOOthes, strengthens, and heals Weak
and Irritated Nerves, producing good
rest at night; and completely reno
Yates and restores a disordered system
whether the disorder be slight or
grave.
DIR. FEN N ER'S KIDNEY AND
BACK ACHE CURE For all diseases
of the kidneys y, bladder, urinary pas
sages, backache, dropsy, female weak
nesses, nervous debility, heart disease,
rheumatism. etc. The most successful
remedy that has ever been admins
tered in the diseases named. Get of
your dealer the memorandum book
entitled 4" DR.. Fennar's Peoples Rem
edies are Used all Over the World"
For sale in Ravenna by
7S4 l.. p. SEYMOUR.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

pursuance of an order OF the Probate Court
= OF Portage sount Ohio. will offer for sale
mt public auction, on
Saturday, the 18th day of May, 1884,
between the hours of 12 O'Clock m and 8 O'Clock
p ID upon the premises the following describ-
eo real estate Situate in the Towns hin of
oumela county of Portage and State of Ohio
anu Is known as being a part IF lot No. 2S, and
Is NJ the center of Sufield and consists of seven
Nnlage Lots; and also. one lot of over three
acres. one lot of over four acres
Terms OF SALE: :-One third in hand md bal
ance In SIX months from the day of sale. with
lnltresG. Inc payments to be secured by mort
gage upon the premises sold
WILLIAM PAULUS
Adm'r de honis non of II. Warner decd
April l9th, 1884, sl8-4w '"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

The fiat has gone forth that the size
of mems pants is to be increased, and
then it will be difficult to tell an honest
man from a dude,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
LEGAL NOTICE,

:" Ii. DURk EE. Who re- iies some where in
w the State of lndi; ma, the precise place
IN SAID state being unknown, will take notice
that Silas +. Hanks and Mary j. II INKS did. on
the 2lst day of April, 1894 file their petition
against him and others, in the Common Pleas
Court Of Portage County OHIO. setting forth
that they are in poSscS>iOn and seized in lee
simple OF trait of land >iiI ated in Shalcrsvile
Township Portage County. Ohio, and known
as the south part OF lot No 80 containing about
70 acres of Land, an that sa Il defendants claim
some Interest therein which is n cloud upon
their title, and praying that tn " M " he quiet
Ell IN their title that the cloud may be reno yed
and for equitable relief Said defendant is re-.
gnired to answer said petition on Or before unc
14th. 1884,
SILAS HANKS
MARY J. HANKS
BY i. T. SIDDALL Atty. s17 CIV
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

The spring everyday hat for the
young men of the period is the regula-
ton Derby crown, with straight in
stead Of eurled brim,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

Prince Bismarck has again shaved off
his beard, and wears only the historic
Wustaehe. which 10 now quite white,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08

H. b. Clailin, the famous New York
dry goods merchant, is said to be 4
very small man, with fluffy hair and Il
small. smooth, doll-like face. Every
afternoon at half-past o'clock, wet or
dry, he jumps into light wagon be-
hind fleet horse and goes spinning
down towards Coney Island from his
Winter residence in Brooklyn. There
is nothing snowy OF stylish about his
turnout, and few who see the little
man mufflad in fur-lined coat with a
cloth cap drawn over his flowing hair
would take him for millionaire.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-05-08
NoTTCE.

NOTICE.--The unders igned has been duly
estate of Martin Englehart. deceased, late of
Ravenna Township. Portage County. Ohio.
MARY j. ENGLEHART.
Rayenna, April 18th, 1854. $40