davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
No Money i'm His Nose.

There was man who found out this
week in q Bowery museum that he was
not so peculiarly endowed by nature as
he had supposed. Measure your own
nose, and il il is an inch long-from
the upper lip straight out to the end
you are quite sufficiently provided for
all purposes of utility and beauty. An
inch more would proverbially be o
great deal. This man had it. and, in
consequence, he overrated his nasal
importance. | am bound TO say that
his length of nose is to my mind won
derful, and entitled TO be REGARDED as a
freak OF nature. But Il test has proved
that it does not render him thrilling to
the masses. He is Il cigar-maker by
trade. Whenever he took his walks
abroad, he was gazed ut with amaze
ment. III l am 20 be looked ON rs a
curiosity" he reasoned, lit would be
better to make n lazy living with my
abnormal nose. SO he took his big
feature to the manager of 10-cent
show.
VERY WE'LL" was the offer which he
received. "1'll do just the same by
you that / do by any other new freak.
We can't tell what'll catch on with the
public. You can have n place on the
platform for week. If you make
failure, I'll give you So; if you hit 'em,
I'll fix "a square, liberal salary
"But how m / to know whether bit
emp" the amateur curiously asked.
''By seeing whether the folks stop to
look at you That's the test"
The nose was not potent What had
been novel in private life, was almost
disrcgarded in professional. 1t seems
to be settled that protuberance CT two
inches does not make face fascinating.
The man has returned to his cigar
bench. .--NeW York Letter.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
The Prime of Life.

People call the age of forty ''the
prime of life" Who invented that
knocking phrascp Some subacid cynic,
doubtless. Because it is not the prime
of life. by any means. AT forty your
hair at the temples is whitening; at
forty your Figure" is broadening; at
forty you begin to be called "a harm
less old fellow by your pretty nieces
and their friends. A most disgusting
time of lite! When with dignified steps
you march toward your yawning grave
at seventy-iivc, you are ut least an OBJ
ject of respect and revercnce-if you
have money. Your white locks and
your snowy beard crown you with the
majesty of old But TO be forty! you
are neither young or old. Your hair
is pepper and salt color. Your speech
has become, in spite of yourself, set in
stilted sentences. You perhaps would
tlirt, but in the attempt you meet with
dire disaster. This enterprise is met
with the gicgles of girlhood, and you
are driven ANONYMOUSLY from the
scene by some "masher' of twenty
summers. The real prime of life is
when your muscles are like twisted
cords of Bessemer steel (you don't care
much about girls 1T that time) and
your lungs like the bellows that blow
the smelling furnace; when you have
only to say one pretty thing, show your
white teeth and twist up the ends of
your youthful mustache, and any pref
ty girl you want just signs once and
tumblcs into your arms. This is the
nrimc of life. 1t is all over when Won
begin to call for your dinner and
grumblc ut the breakfast buttered
toast. When you have become u Judge
of wine it is indeed time to leave the
arena and to accept the WORKOUT glad
iator's gift of the wooden sword. = Fan
i'm TniJ.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
Red-Haired Boys.

In a recent issue of daily paper app
peared the following advertisement:
Wanted-A bright boy, with good
recommendation from former employ
er; red-haired perfcrred. Inquire at
The advertisement caught the eye of
a reporter, and he wondered what
particular business could demand the
services of an auburn-haired youth.
Possibly he was wanted to illuminate
q show-window or to warm small
Office, but the reporter could arrive at
no satisfactory conclusion. Finally,
he resolved to 90 to the place and find
out, so he called ut the number indica-
ted. 1t was over the door of State
street hair-store, and when the repor-
ter saw the business sign his thoughts
REQUIRED to "The Rape of the Lock, "
and he believed he had struck place
where red-headed boys were hired and
induced afterward to part with their
haired. beauties whose crop OF hair had
failed. Approaching the proprietor of
the place-a bald-headed mantle
reporter expressed his curiosity ut the
advertisement he had seen and asked
II he might learn the particular deslra-
bility OF red-haired boys in that bus
mess.
"Well, SIR" said the man with y
smile. Il have always found that red
haired boys are the smartest and most
energetic. They are proud and re-
spectful, and do not cut up like the or
binary errand boys.
'.And you think it is due TO the hue
of their hair?'
THAT has been my experience, and
/ have no doubt that if people would
notice the fact they would think as l
do. In my factory the majority of the
girls have red hair, and they go about
their work industriously and indulge
in no foolishness.
This little argument in favor of the
red-haircd people should have its eff
feet, and hereafter the warm-headed
man or woman should always have
employment Chicago Tribune.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11

peru stature.
Ladies', / beg your pardon" he
said. but / thought when ! came
here, was coming homo! | knew moth
ing of all these changes. / never could
have dreamed that my cousins would
let this old creature 90 to--the town
poorhousc. don't know who you are,
ladies'" with husky rattle in his
throat, "out / thank you, from the
very bottom of my heart, for giving
her shelter in her old age. And if
money will pay YOU for it"
1T will not!' said Mary, sharply, as
If the words conveyed slur.
mo, l suppose not, said Tom, with
sigh. .But I've plenty of money now.
The dear old Mlnty shall live like q
queen all the rest of her days, for she
was good to me when all the rest set
me down for black sheep. I've made
my fortune out in New Zealand, and
I've come home TO redeem myself
II have heard of you very often"
said Mrs. Miller, gently.
''And I'll venture to say, ma am, you
heard no good OF me-" said the young
giant, with short laugh. Il will not
deny that was wild lad enough, but
there wasn't any actual evil in me, let
folks say what they would. And now
I'm back, a rich man, and there's no.
BODY 90 bid me welcome home, except
old Aunt Abby out of the workhouse.
He could not long have made this
statement, however.
All the town was up to bid the rich
government contractor welcome to
Tewkstown, within twenty-four hours.
Human nature is human nature every
where. But Tom Burton cared little
for the friendly Overtures of the old
neighDors.
Aunt Abby was the only person for
whom ne seemed TO care, and his great
est grief was that the old woman re-
fused to leave the old farmhouse to live
in the stately mansion which was built
for him. And then he asked permission
to deck her little bedroom with the GU
riosities he had brought her from the
antipodes, and in taking up draperies
and arranging shells and old silver
coins, he and Mary unconsciously be-
came friends.
Friends. She never knew that it was
anything else, until one day, old Aunt
Abby took strange idea into her head.
And Mary, holding rich oriental cord
for Tom Burton to loop into knots for
picture frames, heard her introduce
Mrs. Miller to q neighbor as my
guest, Mrs. Miller, the mother of the
young lady that nephew Tom is going
to marryr
Tom looked at Mary. Mary dropped
the ball of cord and turned crimson.
''Mary!" he said, piteously, "say
that it shall be so. For love YOU
yes, love you! and can't live with
out your love. And--and you were
good to old Aunt Abby when all the
world turned against her. l sometimes
think. Mary, that you must be one of
Heavens angcls!''
And this was how they became en-
gagged.
They often visit the old farmhouse.
the happicst of married lovers, and
Aunt Abby firmly believes that they
are all her guests; for to her, the
world stands cternally still-thc world
that Is SO full of bloom and beauty TO
Tom and Mary
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
Saw His Way Clear.

An old chap who lived up in Ver-
mont in the years gone by was left a
piece of land containing about twenty
acres by the death of some relative. Ii
was valued at about 5000, and about
the first thing the old man did was to
raise $25 on mortgage. When this
money was gone he put on second
for the same amount, and by-and-by
he found third individual willing to
lend him $50 and take n mortgage.
The last of this money had just disap-
pearcd when the old man fell and broke
his leg. The person who first reached
him called out:
poor Uncle Billy! What will you
do nowP"
'.Is my leg broker"
Certain It is.
"And I'm cripple?"
"You are"
"Well," said the old man, as look
of resignation came to his face, 81
reckon I'd best slap on another mort
gage"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11

II g-u-e-ss mought as well hev il.
I'd like to send some of it back East.
My hair was raving black when come
West, but time changes us all. Say!
don't make it too short"
Would you like to have it curlcd af-
ter it's cutp'
''Ef 1t doesn't cost any more. l used
to have real nice rnglets when / was n
gal. Wore 'em all around with pink
bow on the top of the head. Didn't
think anything of pinnin' it right on to
the scalp. Mercy! who's that? Ny
darter won't know me from side of
sole leather"
..lt's great Improvement, said the
girl as she picked out the last gray
curl.
els itp" asked the woman as she
stared at herself in the glass. II don't
know as kin tell rally, but its COM
fort to look different 10 what hev for
the last twenty year. Seems to me
tho rs 4 there was no fools like old
fools. Any all how, deu hope it will
please my darter.
And the woman put on her bonnet
and went out. The face that had look
ed plain in the serene bands of parted
hair assumed strange and never-to-
be-forgotten expression tied up in that
Quakerish bonnet, with curled layer
OF fringe piled high above the spare
features creased and crossed with lines
of care and disappointment. Nor was
it any CHASTITY attempt to coquette with
time, but an unseltish regard for the
interests of that daughter at home, that
led the good woman to lay herself on
the altar of sacrifice as wearer of the
Langtry bang.--DetrOH Free Press.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
Artistic Hair-Cutting.

"D'ye cut hair in the Longtrco bang
herep" asked plain woman with thin,
gray hair, pasted down on her hollow
cheeks, blind-bridlc fashion.
"Yes'm; we cut the Langtry bang"
answered young lady with n golden
couture and black eyelashes; would
you like to have yours cutp"
THAT would" said the woman,
skinning off a last years bonnet, and
following the hair artist in. She was
soon seated in y chair in front of n
large mirror which made her look four
times as old and twice rs ugly rs she
did ut home.
II don't want IL cut real fashion
able" she said. as the girl wrapped n
calico mantle over her shoulders and
took out one by one the few wcll-worn
hairpins that held back wisp in place.
my darter had her'n cut, an she's al
luz sayin'. You do look so unfash'na-
ble.' Say, what do You do with the
hair that's cut Off"
Throw it away unless you want IL. y
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11

a. "a penrly light is breaking in the east.
1ne iltile sleepy stars with half shut eyes
stisa iseuing from tho gray of We vet skies;
as as ono by one their lids drop softly down,
WIN, heavens with downing iite are all astir;
NIL M niie wreaths of silvery mist WAX roster
mat snake like, curl about the mountains
crown.
Has pierced that wall which shuts the day
from night.
ano nquidly food OF opal lights
rours slowly through and battles the earth
Gertrude Alger.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
Endless life.

Oh, why should all this como to me so wife.
That death should throw no glamor DER my
eyes,
Or reach sublimer limits OF the skies?
None breathe Of life but those who reckon
how,
OF feeling, knowing surely more than now;
Filling all thoughts with one eternal vow.
Or Prasping, carving for that rest perforcc
All natures seeks but finds IL not The source
OF life called death is hut another course.
The unknown, mighty empires of tho wind,
Unknown, because unseen and unconfncd-
Cannot exceed the empires OF the mind.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
IMPORTANT,

When you visit or leave New York City save Bag
gage Expressage and Carriage Hire and stop at the
Grand Union Hotel opposite Grand Central Depot
Elegant rooms fitted up at a cost of one. million
dollars, reduced to 81 and upwards per day. Euro
pean plan. Elevator Restaurant supplied with
the best. Horse cars stages and elevated railroad
to all depots Families can live better for less
money at the Grand Union Hotel than at any ether
frst-class hotel in the city.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11

What could be more cordial, and at
,he same time freer from offensive per-
sonal faint, than the wedding wish of a
Louisiana editor: MAY they prove as
good to each other us the cake and wine
proved good to us"
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11
Detroit, Grand Haven
& MILWAUKEE Ry.

GOING EAST.
Trains leave Owosso as follows: Detroit
Express, $3.50 a. m; Through Mail, 1:45 D. m. !;
Steamboat Express, 6:55 p. m; Atlantic ES-
press, l. 80 am.
GOING WEST.
Morning Express, 10:0s an; Through Mail
AS p. m; Grand Rapids Express, 7:30 pm. |;
Night Express, 1850 a. M; Mixed, COCA. IN.
Mixed from the West 7:10 p. m.
Refreshments at Detroit, Owosso and Grand
Haven. Mail east and west has parlor day car
attached The Telegraph Line for the Public.
eH- Through Sleeping Cars on all night trains
between Grand Haven and Detroit
Nignt Express east and west daily aud all other
trains daily Sunday excepted.
CONNECTIONS.
AT DETROIT-GreatW Western Railway to points
east. Michigan Central, Michigan Southernand
Grand Trunk Railroads.
AT MILwAUKEE-Witht the Milwaukee and St,
Paul Western Union. Milwaukee and Northern.
and Chicago and Northwestern Railways to all
points north and west.
eB-The Railway Company's Ferry Steamer
leaves ID. G. II. & M. Dock, Detroit, on arrival of
trains. Tickets are sold at the Detroit. Grand
Haven and Milwaukee Railway Ticket Office, to
al principal places in the United States.
T. TANDY. Gen'lFreight & Passenger Agt.
The times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1882-1897, 1884-04-11

There are several railroads in this
country which are practicing the Uncle
Billy theory. Val Street Me,os.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-10-02
NORTHERN TRIBUNE CORREsPON
DENCE.
MENTOR.

Regular equinOctial storms just now.
John Bunce still very sick, his recov-
cry is considered doubtful.
The corn crop of Mentor is ripening
up in good shape, crop good.
Candidates for county clerk getting
ripe down this way.
The moderator is preparing to hunt
when the season opens, he expects to
fad his dean over on the plains this
season,
G. E. ROrabeck on visiting his pc tato
and corn patch the other Monday morn
ing, found the ground tore up and the
corn tore down to a fearful extent, and
supposed neighbor Bottsfords hogs had
been there, but upon inquiry found out
that it was Wolverine pluming party.
Mr.. Rorabeck considers such conduct
uapecoming real gentlemen wherever
they hail from.
The weight Of the young lady that
called at Mr.. Rorabecks was 81 instead
of pounds.
We understand that the new county
clerk has not moved to Cheboygan yet
in fact is living in back corner of the
township as we do, we had not heard un-
til recently that Uncle Medard's success
sor had been elected.
johnny Wallace said that the modera-
tors bulls eye came near soaring him
out of his wits the other night.
Uncle Phllander Pike is putting in a
stock of groceries, -four and feed at
Rondo. We understand he intends run
ming general line of goods before
winter.
Mrs. Will Mulholland is visiting
friends in North Branch, Lapeer Co.,
this state. We advise her to hurry back
for Will IS getting quite wild 80 soon.
Jim Gladding says he believes In plow
ing deep while sluggards sleep, in school
matters especially.
Milom Baird is quite sick at Mr.. Lewis
Baileys, with typhoid fever.
1t looks exceedingly funny to see a
whisky Democrat pointing out to Re-
publican Prohibitionist, the propriety of
voting for ST. John, the Republican that
don't tumble to that scheme is dull in
deed, The Republican party through
the submission plank in their platform
offer temperance people all that they
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-10-02
STRAIGHT GREENBACKERs.

Conference at Lansing-An Electoral Tick
ct Nominated.
In pursuance of the call issued by s.
B. McCracken. John r. Van De Vanter
and Others, for straightout greenbackers,
delegates were present at Lansing
Wednesday from Van Buren,, Kalamazoo,
Saginaw, Shiawassee, Wayne, Muskeg0n,
Bay. Midland, Monroe, Ingham and st.
Joseph counties. No state ticket was
nominated out the matter was left to
the state committee. The convention
accepted the seven greenback electors
already chosen and added the following:
J. d. Catharin, Detroit; DR.. ]. Henshaw,
jackson; Chas. II. Williams, VanBnren;
Jesse N. Miller, Bay; Chas. H. Stone,
Shiawasse; Chas. Benton, Rosc0mmon.
Any vacancies to be fillea by the state
committee.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-10-02

can ever expect through the action Of
any party; namely the submission
of the question to the people
whether We have prohibition or license,
that is more than they can ever ext ect
by helping to place in power party
pledged to license.
When people go blackberrying togeth-
er they should always be careful wi +
they say for they can't most always
sometimes tell who is just behind the
same clump of bushes. If they are
young people they should be very careful
if they are a married man with some
other lady than their wife they should
be doubly careful for some folks will
stand for half day in order to hear
something funny said. This advice may
be rather late for this season, but it will
help those who expect to go berrying to-
gather next season.
1t is bad medicine for poor fellow to
buy lot, contract to have house built,
get his winters blackberries canned,
and all preparations made to keep house
and then have his girl shake him, and
say she likes somebody else better. Poor
fellow. we pity him. we were shook once
ourself.
Lewis Bailey says he has learned
new way to set up with the sick, he 81 US
its not exactly sitting up either.
DR.. Stringham has found new reute
over there, he says all he is afraid of now
is John Wakeford's dog. He thinks his
well patient is getting no better fast.
SOLOMON.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-10-02

Hon. Seth C. MOffatt. Republican NOM
inea for Representative in Congress for
the Eleventh district, had an enthusias-
tic reception on his return to Traverse
City. Hannah Lay e Co.'s mammoth
establishment was Illuminated. cann0ns
and steam Whistles We'd with each other
in endeavoring to make music, the
Blaine and Logan Club, with two bands
and torches. and crowds OF people escort
ed him to his residence. whore the Hon.
Perry Hannah introduced him, and he
made brief speech,
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-10-02

A New York physician says that ba-
by must not be allowed to sleep with its
mother. If he means by this that the
baby must sleep with its father he will
incur the undylng hatred of all married
men.
A New York physician says that ba-
by must not be allowed to sleep with its
mother. Must not be allowed! Did any
body ever know of a baby that ever slept
with its mother or any body elsep This
New York physician ought to know that
baby never goes to sleep until 1t Is
time for everybody else to get up. Then
how the little darling will sleep!
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-10-02
Where Wicked Men Go.

"What becomes of men who stealp"
asked the Sunday-school teacher of a
sharp little boy.
"They go to Can ada
mo, little boy, that Is not the right
answer. They ultimately go to the
wicked place."
"Oh, Chicago?"-Teras SUtings.
Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1884-10-02
NORTHERN TRIBUNE.
THURSDAY. OCTOBER 2, 1884.
MARINE.


The Flora arrived and departed on
time last Friday.
The Lawrence arrived and departed
Monday afternoon.
The City of Cleveland and City of
Mackinac are both haying large freight
business.
The schooner NJ. Fillmore arrived at
Duncan City Monday and loaded lumber
for Chicago.
The tug Hancock, of st. Ignace, was
hauled out Tuesday at Bunksr's ship
yard for repairs.
The schooner John Miner loaded lum-
Der from w. g. A. Macarthur and cleared
Tuesday for Chicago.
The Atlantic arrived up early Tues
day morning, and left on time, bound
down, in the afternoon.
The tug Kate Moffat, with pontoons
and wrecking outfit, arrived last eve-
ming from Lake Superior.
The Van Raalte arrived down from
Sault Ste. Marie yesterday afternoon
and will leave again Friday morning
for that port.
The schooner Windsor arrived at
Duncan City Monday, loaded lumber and
cleared for Chicago Tuesday.
Tho Cfa No rio orr;uad In,pu IN <ooJ
season Monday evening. and cleared on
time Tuesday morning for the $780,"
The schooner L. M. Mason reported
early Tuesday morning with cargo of
cedar ties from Michaels Bay for Chica-
60.
The schooner j. V. Taylor arrived
Sunday, loaded lumber from w. & A.
Nc Arthur, aud sailed for Chicago Tues
day.
The schooner Charles E. Wyman
loaded lumber from w. s. Humphrey
last week, and cleared Saturday for Chi
cagO.
The Champlain arrived early Sun
day morning. A defect ia her boiler
furnished VIM. Hess and force several
days work.
The tug Duncan City lowed the
barge R. n. Rice to Detour last week 10
meet the steambarge and rest of tow
r bound down.
Lake Ontario is 81 inches lower than
it was at tins time last year; still, there
there is sufficient water in the harbOrs
for the shipping.
The schooner Geo. l.. Wren arrived
Saturday, loaded lumber from
the Cheboygan Lumber company, and
cleared for Chicago Monday:
The schooner Fleetwing arrived
Monday evening, loaded lumber from
the Cheboygan Lumber Co., and cleared
yesterday for Chicago.
The schooner f. NJ. Knapp arrived
Tuesday morning and is loading lumber
from Mattoon & Robinson for Toledo, o.
freight $1.25 per thousand feet.
The VanRaalts arrived down from
Sault Ste. Marie early Sunday morning
Her passenger trade is growing light
but she is carrying more freight thar
ever.
The propeller Messenger arrived
yesterday forenoon. Capt. Bouchar(
says that owing to the quantity o.
freight he carries each trip he does MOI
expect to make time the balance Of the
season.
1t is stated that the Chicago and Og
densburg line has determined to with
draw from the Welland canal trade ant
that other American boats of the larger
class have decided to follow suit, because
of the delays at the aqueduct owing II
the low water on occasions.
crp UnuT GREFNRA CHEERS
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1884-09-10
What Shall the Harvest Be.

The summer is ended-what shall the
harvest be If you have sowed liber.
ally you will reap richly. But if not
remember that the next (thc l73d)
Grand Monthly Drawing of the Louis.
lana State Lottery will happen on Tues
day, October 18th, lSS4-full informa.
ton Of which can be had of NJ A. Dau.
phin, New Orleans, La. At the draw
ing (the l7lsD of August 18th, among
the results the following is reported :
No 1866 drew the first capital of
$4,000. 1t was sold in ffths-onc was
held by Eugene Gaudins, No. 23l St.
Peters street, New Orleans another
by Mr.. Louis Seymour, of Memphis,
now employed as a carpenter at the
Grand Cotton Exposition Building at
New Orleans. No. 1903 drew second
capital prize of S25, 900, sold in New
York. No. 1862 drew the third cap
ital prize of $4,000, sold in fiths-two
to I. S. Tutwl!cr, of Sanford, Fla col.
lecled through the Columbus Miss }
lns. and Banking Go. The fourth cap.
ital prizes of 1000 each went to Nos.
,l57 and 55,475, sold in fractional
parts hither and yon, among others two
tfths to A. B. Glover, No. 30 s. Comp.
ton Ave, st. Louis, Mo-; one.ffth to
Mr.. Louis S. Day, of New Haven,
Conn, and to other parties in Washing
ton, ID. g., and in New Orleans, La.
But here we will rest for period. Gro
be continued indefinitely