The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

Ths 1ans nm crab,
(D~trok M III u
: Just previ,s,s h slse 0peni,Ie At The
meeting Sir lasac svslpole. who had his
LEFT shoe Oh tosrsA 4 lMnion, got Ills left
fnt in che way III i1dee Inss No. liz,
and THE rsult was : !isstetl lit,le affair
in whici, Sir lsaoc AaA His ,,ose roughly
used and tho older E,u,Ml three of
his teetl. iotse,aA. Rows lad scarcely
been exchanged, however, tefore tsptl,
the old patriots extended their ia,,,ls
will, words Of alokxy, aud while Sir
lsaar fairly t'e,age,l the elder to step on
his bunio,, all the rest Of the week, the
elder was cars,cst In his hope that Sir
issue would loosen III! the rest of his
nlolnx.
"wi.icI, g,'ea to PROVE" said Brother
Gardner, M he referred to the matter
when the meeting lad opened, dat de
trifles Of life aa,s,y ,w fur mo dan de
solid trnhblek. A sure heel will gin a
statesman ,ao' annoyance than q reel.
ecksl'un. A bile on de lex will delay y
kings journey. Tight butes have pluug-
ed Europe intO war. A sour stomach
has led 10 xrievus q,arrels a,nung famous
men.
I.ct q mans house burn down, or an
epidemic sweep away his family, or re-
verses come to his bixness, and in mos,
rases he will sho' his sand. Let a con APP
I@ar Oh his toc-a blister rix on his heel
i. tooth begin to acl,e-de cook strike
for higher wages. or de front tl0ah bell
GIT outer order, an nineteen men outer
twenty am all broke up an' ready to as
sert ,lat dis am cold. word an life
aint WORT dc libin.
"1-ct dis Ike u lesson TO US to g,,arl our
weak side. 1t amt dat we shall 80 hang
ourselves bekase we can't meet bank
note due to-morrer, but dat we doan'
lower our dignity in dc naburllood if we
happen to shut dc cute on our coat tails.
We want to congratulate man fur risil,'
from poverty TO affluence by his own in
dividual exertions, but We doan' keer to
he aroun' when he misses a blrlock and
strikes his foot viii de hoe. We rever.
encc gray hairs in our council chambers
an we hate to suspect dat de owners oh
dem give way to tears of indignashun
oEcr IL shirt too high i'll neck or leak in
lie kitchen water pipe.
The Unfortunate Baggage Gentleman.
An Aged Trunk SIT back, in the dark
corner Of the car and refused to bn..:.gc
when the baggage gentleman called him
out. The haggagetnan in great wrath
'::::ra"ced and seized the venerable Sara
toga by the handle.
"Gcntly, friend, gently" said the
Trunk, ''that thing you have hold of was
not made to lift by"
But the bag.:age,nan gave it a yank
that pulled it out by the roots, and then,
with violent language, he upbraided
the trunk for not holding on.
II have nothing to do with getting out
this baggage" replied the Aged Trunk,
"my sole mission aud duty in life is to get
OH the wrong train. Failing in that, l
am content merely to 20 to the wrong
hotel, although would prefer to lose my
check and get lost entirely. You will
tind the remaining handle ut the other
end"
The bageageman walked around and
caught hold Of the surviving handle.
BY placing his foot against the end Of the
trunk and holding on will, both hands
lie was able to pull off this one in three
strong pulls. Then the Aged Trunk
closed its eyes, leaned back, and simply
said:
Sand this is where must get off, too."
The baggageman wept. He had now
to stoop down, put his arms around that
trunk, pick it up bodily, and carry it to
the car-door. He did so, but ia the
exertion broke his back in three places.
He determined that he would not die
unavenged, SO he hurried the now help
less trunk upon the iron-bound truck
that awaited it. Then, as lie heard the
awful crYsl, that announced the ruin he
had wrought lie sank to the aoor of the
car, saying:
II die happy"
But comrade looked in the car and
said, sadly:
"Misscd yer tip, Bill!
Didn't bust the trunk ?" he asked,
family.
"Naw; only wrecked an express truck"
Burlington Hawkeye.