The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-02-05

gers the life of the publishing company.
Jones publishes a card IN the morning pa
per In which he denOuuces that he has
been slsndered that the other stockholders
in the News Publishing CO., are black
hearted villains who have robbed him of
money and conspired to ruin his good name
in a community where he has lived, for,
ETC., etc. Then Jones goes over to the Even
ing News office and almost pounds the lie
out of the managing editor, with the wood
en- mallet. This gives new life to the
paper, and the sensational descriptions of
the murderous assault, boom the circuls-
ton way up and ayerts the financial dis
aster that the S1l.75 loss had almost
brought about.
Next week there is another financial
crisis. The combined resources of the es-
tablishment are not equal TO the raising OF
the weekly s, necessary to sppease the ra-
pacitv of the man who has the mortgage on
the type. This crisis is haply passed by
taking into the concern another partner
with a capital of SIS in cash and 81 meal
tickets or % cent restaurant.
The board of aldermen are next attacked
and accused Of conniviDg at all sorts Of
jobs by which the taxpayers are robbed.
The circulation Row runs mp twenty de-
grees above freezing out T. int. saloon
keeper who sspires To be an alderman next
term gives the News Publishing company
an advertisement and unlimited credit.
The prospects of the paper are now bright,
indeed, aud prosperity and affluence seem
to threaten the concern until Alderman
Duffy, with blood in his eye and a club In
his hand, calls at the Office, blsckens the
/ - ., ,h.,f bo IF
of ink into the vice presidents hair, jams
the secretary under the imposing stone.
pours a quart of lye down the back of his
neck, and kicks the inside forms into ''pi."
| The paper comes out that evening half
sheet, and the president publishes card
next day in which he states that from that
and he will not be responsible for any
debts contracted by other sco8ndrels who
claim TO own the paper, and who, he says,
have systematically robbed him since the
nrst day he was associated with them.
The Publishing company is recognized
Two of the original founders retire taking
for their share In the business a patent
straw cutter and q box of soap that had
been received in payment for advertise
ments.
Next dry goods merchant puts the pa
per on a firm 6nanciBl basis. The dry good,
! merchant has brother-in-law whom he
wants the people TO elect to the responsible
position of hide inspector. He wants an
Archime1isn lever TO move public opin-
ion, and he therefore pays $50 Tor con-
trolling interest in the Evening News.
| The News now becomes the unbiased,
unbribed. and unbought organ OF the
working man." and to the working man,
through its editorial columns, is demon
strsted the fact that the reduction of the
price of breadstufis, the suppression OF vice,
the prosperity of the country, and the
peace of Europe, Asia, Africa, and Ocean
! lea depend on The working men rallying
around the polls and electing the dry
goods merchants brother.in-law TO the Of.
fee Of hide Inspector.
The brother-in-law is defeated at the
polls, the dry goods merchant refuses to
avert another impending financial catastro-
phe by advancing more wealth, the News
goes over to- the great majority, and the
/ man who owned the type carries 1t back to
the store room, piles the old mortgage mp
on top of il again and leaves it there among
the old rubbish and cobwebs until, after
several months have elapsed, some more
impecunious printers feel that they are
called on to fill long felt want with an
evening paper, and the mortgage is pulled
down. the type rented again, and history
repeats itself.