Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1884-11-12
"A Modest Bride.

Perhaps the most amusing spectacle
at Niagara Falls Hotel may he
witnessed in the corridors from $50 to
11:SO of any evening during the
"bridal' season. Go early, so as to be
in time; ascend to about the third
floor, and take up your post OF observa-
ton in some convenient embrasure-
say in the window at the end of the hall.
The half hour will hardly have struck
when door after door will open in
quick succession, and groom after
groom will emerge sneakingly from its
closing portal, give quick glance over
his shoulder. and then walk leisurely
up and down with don't-care-a damna-
tive expression on his face that is in
describably ludicrous. One moment
he shippers shamefully ut his fellow
sufferers who pass him in their march,
and another glares savagely as if spoil
ing for fight. But all the time he is
looking anxiously ut his watch, until q
half hour has passed slowly away,
when he steals hastily back to his door,
knocks and enters, whore necessity
compels us to leave him.
THE EXPLANATION Is SIMPLE.
He has been sent out while the young
and Inexperienced madam disrobes
herself. He is ashamed to so down
stairs, so he watches out the vigil in
the hall.
On one joyful and ne'er-to-be-for-
gotten occasion-the first of the many
times that l have sought to console
myself for the woes of bachelordom by
this pitiable sight was called IN to
assist at the reunion after the half hour
had elapsed. A groom, bigger and
madden than the average, had hardly
re-entered his nuptial chamber when
he reappeared with direst alarm and
CONSERVATION depicted upon his coun-
tenance. His room was the end one in
the hall, and my face the first to meet
his agonized face.
"Are You one of the hotel men?" he
gasped. .,
II am sir'' replied, with that innate
truthfulness that characterizes the de-
scendants of George Washington.
"Well, sir, my wife has gone, sir,
and I'll have her, sir, if l search every
room in your cursed old shanty."
In vain l sought to console the
agitated youth and to check
THE CURRENT OF PROFANITY
that coursed with Niagara's own rush
and roar from his trembling lips.~-1n
vain 1 assured him that it was not
customary with wives to>run away so
early in the marital lie, and that there
was not case Gu record of ones quit
ting her bed and board before the ex-
niratlon of the honeymoon. 1t was
useless-he would not be comforted-
till finally purely out of the philanthropy
of an unselfish heart l suggested that
he let me assist him in examining the
room for traces of the missing bride.
He at once assented and threw open
the door.
entered with noiseless reverence.
No human being but ourselves was
visible. In the corner, piled upon q
chair, were the ordinary articles OF a
woman's apparel, the smaller and more
mysterious garments hidden under the
larger In the bed was a mock front,
composed of q pillow and flannel
skirt, which the wrath OF
THE ALARMED HUSBAND
had ruthlessly and immodestly exposed.
1 took the situation at glance. There
was evidently nothing under the bed
that is, nothing of any consequence
for it came too near the floor. There
were no closets in the room, no other
doors, and nothing behind which one
could hide. There was, however, what
the French call buffet, with shelves
at the top and folding-doors at the
bottom.
1 gauged the thing in my minds eye,
and concluded there was just room
enough for flexible little woman with
out much clothing to squeeze in there.
All this was but the work of an instant's
observation, and then l spoke with my
mouth sharply:
Young man you have made fool
of yourself. Go to the sideboard and
lick her."
Without waiting for me to hide my
bushes behind the door, he opened
the buffet with a bound, and there,
nestled amid cloud of fleecy white.
was the prettiest little rosebud of
face that ever cleaned out of lace and
1i,,on