davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
TWISTING A cows TAIL.

1t was a COW, with mild brown ewes,
auburn bangs, and tail with loose
lock on the end, that switched the air
and knocked imaginary flies into the
hereafter with snap. She was being
led down West street toward the Cort-
land street ferry by ferocious- looking
Jerseyman, whose complexion, owing to
the cold weather and hot whisky, was
red as meteoric sunset. Suddenly.
with what was apparently unnecessary
cruelty, the Jerseyman struck the COW
across the flank with a club, swung his
arms over his head, danced a maddening
double shuttle in the street, and sat down
with strange rapidity upon car-rail.
The COW looked over her shoulder re-
provingly, and stood in her tracks. The
Jerseyman arose from the impression he
had made upon the ice, smoothed his
coat-tails caressingly, and started toward
the cow He raped her once, spat
on his hands, raped her twice, put his
shoulder against her side-all to move
her out of the track of the drays-
but to no avail. A crowd assembled. The
Jerseyman got lots of sympathy but no
doolSbdHCC. OuO lltu buSRCSIcu llllJ
she had frozen fast; another that she
was undecided about the policy of the
board of aldermen. The owner went a
few yards ahead, grinned CHASTITY grin,
and shaking his club behind him in a
suppressed fury pleaded in persuasive
tones, "Come, Mooly-Mooly. But
Moody saw the club.
AT last from the crowd stepped lank
and unshaven specimen of 'longshore-
man. He was gifted with wisdom be-
yond his kind He drew the owner of
the COW aside and whispered in his ear :
"Twist her tail" The Jerseyman shook
his head. Then, as though bidding for
the support of the multitude, the long
shoreman raised his arm and making
sweeping gesture, exclaimed:
Scents, says twist her tail"
"Twist it yersel, was the answer.
A glance of scorn upon the crowd,
and the 'longshoreman barred his brawny
arm and stepped up to the COW. He
took the love-lock in his hand ran his
fingers through il and clinched them,
grasped the middle of the tail with his
left hand, and tried to tie knot. An
agonizing silence, which was broken by
q groan and dotted with broad brimmed
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
A Funny SuperStitiOn.

We take from an article in the Popular
Science Monthly, entitled "House.build-
ing in the East" the following; The first
thing the would-be householder has to
do is to find out the situation of the
great dragon that encircles the earth with
his body, like the Midgard serpent of
northern mythology. This must be as,
certained before operations are begun at
all, for it will have great inAuence, not
only on the time of beginning the build.
ing, but on the way in which the foun-
dations must be dug and the method of
hosting the posts into position. This
the Burmese have recorded for them in a
rhyme which every school-boy can re-
peat. The Siamese are not less alive to
the necessity of accurate information on
the subject, and it is fully set out in the
"camra." The reason of this is that
when you come to dig the whole for the
main post of the house you must heap
up the earth on the side toward the Ma
gah's belly. Terrible consequences fol-
low if you do not observe this prelimi-
nary precaution. If you should pile up
your mound in the direction of the head
OF the dragon, your negligence or igno-
rance will involve the death of your
parents, your brothers, and the patrons
of your house. To be without patron
an Siam or Cambodia is to get your name
put down on the list of royal slaves. In
sulting the dragons tail is even more ca
lamitous, for the tail is a most touchy
member, and would as soon create an
earthquake and ruin the whole township
as not. The reckless builder who did
such thing would, therefore, be stoned
out of the community as a public enemy
Touching the dragons back is simple
lese-majeste. The lord of the house will
soon find out his crime, but the knowl-
edge will come too late. He will die
The belly is the only safe part. If you
choose that quarter toward which to heap
up your earth, then, subject to a number
of Interpretations to be mentioned, you
are comparatively safe.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
JaDan's Model Postal system.

We clip the following from a Kobe
(Japan) letter to the Philadelphia Pres;
The postal system of Japan is always
pointed at as a model in its way-one of
the foremost departments of the Eu-
ropeanized government. And, indeed,
it must in all fairness be acknowledged
that much credit belongs to Japan for
swiftness in the dispatch of mails, while
fettered with lack of railroads. In the
first place every train carries mail, and
in Japan, be it known, the imperial rail-
roads run through passenger trains every
two hours, and on the Yokohama rail
road nearly every hour. Thus, while in
America three mails each way daily
would be esteemed the climax of facilities,
the minimum between the various cities
here is about ten mails each way daily.
This applies merely to the railroads, OF
course.
The delivery of mails is also very
prompt, and takes place a good many
times day. A person may mail letter
in Yokohama for Tukiyo, one hours ride
to the north, as late as dusk, and yet re-
ceive an answer the same night, provid-
ing his friend is prompt. While in Yo-
kahama I took occasion to mail letter
in post-box as late as @ o'clock one
evening, at a point fully mile from the
post-office. 1t was soon collected, deliv-
cred to the one to whom it was addressed
over on the bluffs, and the same evening
l received call from the recipient.
Every effort is made in the case of for
eigners to deliver their mail to them
promptly. So anxious are the authori-
ties to deliver mail that one of the mis-
sonary ladies in Kobe says when last
summer she went up among the noun
tains six miles distant, spec
ial man was despatched from the
Office here, really against her wishes,
who came all the way on foot, and was
not content until he had hunted her up
and delivered her the mail. The city
carriers have small carts painted red, with
which they deliver mail upon the arrival
of the large mail steamers. They go
about the city at dog trot. This APP
plies, of course, to the large port cities.
In the interior mail is carried from town
to town by messengers, who also travel
at dog trot, in cases where stage lines
do not exist. With all their ceremonious
haste it is amusingly incongruous to
notice that little effort is made to pro-
tect mail-doubtless because, in this poor
country, valuables are not much trans
mitted through the mails. In summer
the overland mail-carrier transports the
mail from place to place by means of
two nets attached to the end of pole
balanced over the shoulder. In case OF
rain these nets are wrapped in oiled
paper. To one who has been accus-
toned to the iron mail wagons of Amer
lea it is peculiar sight.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
The Dead Sea.

A writer in German magazine gives
an interesting sketch of the famous Dead
sea- He substantially confirms all the
traditional Characteristics, except as to
the appearance of the landscape and
some other minor particulars. He de-
clares that no Sicilian bay nor the Gulf
of Corinth presents more varied or beauti-
full coloring, only the water seems darker,
as of molten metal. He denies the gen.
eral statement that no bird flies over its
waters, and that its shores are without
vegetation. But he confirms the ira
dition that no living thing is found in it;
fish coming down by the Jordan die at
once on coming within its bounds. The
water is so ''thick" that he moved it
with difficulty; its bitterness was terrible,
the bottom was slippery, like soap, and
one can scoop up with the hand slime
like mortar. The touch Of it causes
great smart to the eyes. While the tenn
perature of the atmosphere was sixty de-
grees Fahrenheit, that of the water of
the Dead sea was sixty-four degrees. On
coming out of it the body was thickly
incrus5ed with crystals of salts of mag
nesia and soda.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
CURATIVE POWER OF HOT PLATES.

Old Doctor Thompson, noted physi-
clan of Indianapolis, gained his reputa-
ton by "lucky hit" with a case the
Rev. Henry Ward Beecher gave him.
One night Scotchman, laboring under
intense excitement, called on Mr.. Beecher
and exclaimed: "Cume wi me quick,
meow, guide PEARSON NJ woomaun's moo
LANCER IA this wourld-an'-an." Mr..
Beecher did not wait to hear the Scotch
man out, but seized his hat and cloak
and was soon at the bedside of the dying
woman He then rushed out and brought
Doctor Thompson to manage the case,
and within month the patient was a
well woman.
But during her sickness a ludicrous
little incident occurred that made the
actors in these events laugh heartily.
All the good neighbors volunteered to
sit up with the sick woman. One night
one of the Scotch laddies uttered fright
full wall and rolling and kicking
upon the bare floor, complained
bitterly and pitifully of the stomach
ache. The old Scotch father, in drolI
accents and laundering tones, shouted ::
"Aleckl Alickl Cum an pit het plat
an Jamie's stoumachv' As soon as Jamie
was Quoted, another of the numerous
laddies was afflicted similarly. The
Scotchman again called out, only louder
than before: "Aleck, get anither het
plat and pit It an Tamie's stoumach. +"
The complaint now seemed to become
epidemic, and the old Scotchman was
soon telling Aleck to ''pit het plait on
Jeannette's stoumach," This done, and
,Aleck himself fell victim to this acute
trouble, and after him all his "brithers''
were also crying for "het plaits." The
old Scotchman, who was now heating
plates and applying them as fast as he
could, soon exhausted his stock, and
was compelled to run to the neighbors for
new supply. The ailment was at last
put under control, and the Scotchman,
removing the plates from those little
aching stomachs, was about to return
them, when the neighbors, OVERLOOKING
with generosity, told him to keep the
plates for another emergency. They
didn't need them any more after that. u
Midland Monthly.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
A Pennsylvania NimrOd.

A letter from Milford, Penn, to the
New York Tribune contains the follow
ing: For fifty years or more the Green
ings have enjoyed widespread reputa-
ton. cold jerry" the father of the
family, is seventy-fve years old, but he
is as straight as flagstaff, and looks no
more than forty-five. For sixty years he
has hunted in the Pike county forests,
and he knows every acre of ground be-
tween the Delaware and Susquehanna
rivers. In appearance he is rather strik-
ing. A shaggy, grizzled beard covers
his face, his sharp, blue eyes CLEAN be-
meath heavy eyebrows, and his physique
is that of an athlete. He will hunt all
day, tramping through snow a foot deep,
and, if need be, wading ice-bound streams
with bare feet and trousers rolled up to
the knee. Since he has been back
woodsmann he has killed 1854 bears
and 1913 deer, beside num-
Der of beaver, wolves, wild
cats, panthers and smaller game. He
thinks no more of a hand-to-hand en-
counter with wounded bear or four
pronged buck than he would of cleaning
his gun; in fact, he would prefer a
"scrimmage with the animals to any
thing except, perhaps, the villainous
whisky of this region. Many are the
tales told of the old mans daring. In
November, 1878, he entered bears cave
and after capturing two cubs had a
desperate hand-to-hand fight with their
mother, who appeared upon the scene
just as Jerry was leaving the cave. In
1949 he was upset from boat in Saw
kin pond, by an Infatuated buck which
he was pursuing, and nearly drowned.
A few years later another wounded deer
chased him up tree where he remained
until he was nearly frozen to death, when
help arrived. His escapes, as told by
himself, would fill a volume and would
make interesting reading. He talks in a
dialectpeculiar to the region, and INDUCES
in many aphorisms.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
origin Of the Circus Safety.Net.'

The following extract from 'tMarcus
OF Rome, in 50. Nicholas, is interesting
not only as an evidence of the nobility
Of character which afterward served to
make the Emperor Marcus Aurelius one
of the greatest of Rome's imperial rulers,
but as showing the early origin of a
safeguard that no doubt has been gener-
ally regarded as an outcome of modern
humanity, The scene described took
place A. d. 1873, at performance in the
Circus Maximus:
Among the throng of "artists" on that
far-off March day, there came a bright
little fellow of ten or eleven years, a
rope-dancer and a favorite with the
crowd. Light and agile, he trips along
the slender rope that stretches high
above the arena. Right before the magis-
trate's box the boy poises in mid air
and even the thoughtful young director
of the games looks up at the graceful
motions of the boy, Hank! a warning
shout goes up; then another; the poor
little rope-darcer, anxious to find favor in
the eyes OF the young noble, over-exerts
himself, loses his balance on the dizzy
rore and, topping over falls with a
cruel thud to the ground and lies
there before the great state box with a
broken neck-dead. Marcus hears the
shout, he sees the falling boy. Vault
ing from his canopied box he leaps
down into the arena, and so tender is he
of Others, Stole though he be, that he
has the poor rope-dancer's head in his
lap even before the attendants can reach
him. But no life remains in that bruised
little body, and, as Marcus tenderly re-
signs the dead gymnast to the less sym
pathetic slaves, he commands that ever
after a bed shall be laid beneath the rope
as protection against such fatal falls.
This became the rule; and, when next
you see the safety-net spread beneath the
rope-walkers, the trapeze performers,
and those who perform similar terrific I"
feats, remember that its use dates back
to the humane order of Marcus, the boy
magistrate, seventeen centuries ago,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
Big Prices for Old Postage Stamps.

One of the rarest known postage
stamps, and consequently one of the most
priced by collectors, is the ten-cent stamp
issued at Nashville in 1861 by Postmas-
ter McNish, and bearing his name Some
months ago Mr.. Joseph S. Carols sold one
he had had for many years for $25, and
it was afterward sold in Paris for $50.
1t had been taken off the original envel-
ope, and as counterfeits have been man
ufactured, Mr.. Carols, before selling it,
had to get letters from Mr.. McNish, DR..
Blackie, and others, vouching for its au.
thenticity. A son of Mr.. Edmund
Cooper, who is making collection,
found among his fathers old letters an
envelope bearing Cancelled specimen
postmarked, etc. Recently he accom-
panied his mother to New York on a
visit, and while there he sold the stamp
to a dealer for $3750 The stamp being
on the original postmarked envelope, and
bearing its own credentials, 50 to speak,
made it much more valuable. Even
rarer than this stamp is the three-cent
stamp issued by Mr. McNish, as used
specimen has never been found, and one
on the original envelope and well
authenticated would sell for most
extravagant figure. Mr.. McNish also
issued five-cent stamp, used speci-
mems of which sell from five to eight
dollars, the writer of this paragraph hav-
ing sold fine specimen for $10.-Nash.
oiAe (Ienn.) americana
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
FASHION NOTES

Crushed orange is one of tine newest
shades Of yellow.
Gloves for ball dresses must have at
least twenty buttons.
Blouse vests of satin are seen on the
newest basques and jackets.
The newest silver bar pins have old
coins hung across the entire bar.
Little girls dresses are laden With
bows of some gay colored ribbon.
Morning dresses of pale pink or blue
cashmere embroidered with rose-buds
form a part of brides outfits.
Ermine, once the most aristocratic of
furs, fit for kingsand queens, is now used
only as simple lining to plain cloaks.
Oriental broche damasks with the de-
sign outlined in cashmere beads make
the front and sleeves of velvet and satip
dinner dresses.
Very large nets In which the hair falls
half way to the waist are worn by young
girls in Paris. 1t displays the hair to
great advantage, but gives endless OPP.
portunities for deceit.
Grays of several tones in one costume
are the most fashionable hues for day
dresses. Gray cashmere with gray en-
bossed velvet and ehinchilla fur combine
many clear shades of this fashionable
color.
Black satin skirts with the fronts COW
cred with black chenille fringe are worn
with black velvet bodices. There are
also jet embroidered fronts for satin
skirts that have velvet basque with
jetted satin sleeves.
The pelisse or dolmah Of sealskin
edged with otter or beaver or black fox
fur proved to be the most elegant cloak
of the season in New York. Short man
ties of sealskin have not had the success
anticipated for them. The epauletted
fur cape is in favor for young and slight
women with their cloth tailor-made suits.
Very pretty house dresses afe now
made up without any drapery, the skirt
falling quite straight on the sides, and
having three plaits, beginning on the
shoulder, gathered at the waist and fall
ing thence to the floor. The back of the
waist is cut off just below the belt, and
a short, full train is gathered upon it.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
A Slim CHARGE.

"Don't you believe that marriages are
made in Heaven" asked Mr. Yeast of
Miss Prim the other day,
81 most certainly do" replied the lady
of uncertain age, frightening up at the
very suggestion of a proposal, and throw
ing her head on one side in her endeavor
to look coquettish; "but why do you
ask 2"
swell, l thought you did," was the
young mans satisfied reply.
But why did you think l did 2" per-
sisted the antiquated maiden, almost
swallowing her overskirt in her attempts
to appear captivating.
"Well," responded the heartless
young man, lighting cigarette, and
getting at respectable distance from his
antagonist: " it doesn't look as though
there was much chance of your being
married before you reached there!"
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
Ill GOING TOGETHER.

Little Nell-Oh! l have such good
news. Mamma and papa and l are all
going to another city to live.
Visitor-Indeed! You amaze me.
What city is it3
Little Nell-It has such funny name.
1t is called Harry, and it is an awful old
city
Visitor-Ohl guess you heard the
name wrong. ,,.
Little Nell-ohl no, didn't. It was
At the breakfast table. Papa told mamma
to go to the old Harry, and mamma told
papa to go there himself, and then l
asked them to take me, and they didn't
say anything, but l know they will
Philadelphia Call.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
Emperor william at the Opera.

A Berlin letter has this account of
what the writer saw one night at the
opera: Nearly the entire court was pres
ent. The emperor of course, was there.
He never fails to appear when Lucca
sings In the largest of the royal boxes
sat Prince Wilhelm his wife's brother,
Prince Gunther of Schleswig- Holstein,
and another young officer. In the box
adjoining were the prince and Princess
Frederic of Hohenzollren. Between the
acts Prince Wilhelm, followed by his
companions, entered their box. The
prince and princess kept their seats, and
shook hands with the future third EN-.
peror of Germany, without offering to
stand up. Prince Wilhelm CALAMITY
kissed the princess glove, and then took
Il seat in the shadowy corner by her.
Suddenly the old kaiser walked in. The
party instantly arose to greet the griz-
ely monarch who shook all cordially
by the hand and appeared in
the best of spirits. As he held the prin-
cess hand until she stood up straight
after making her low courtesy, | no.
ticed for the first time that the kaiser's
'hNOA hhSSi VI NhO liSiit manu- was Sn-
tirely gone. They all stood awhile chat
ting pleasantly, until his majesty with
drew. The prince of Hohenzollern
dropped on sofa in the back of the box,
and just as Prince Wilhelm was starting
to sit on the point of the formers helmet
cap which lay beside him, he pulled it
hastily aside, and the heir to the German
throne let himself carefully down into
the velvety depths of the sofa beside
Prince Friedrich.
Once, in going through one of the
royal palaces, the glidc told me that the
emperors finger had been shot off acct
dentally at hunt when he was a very
young man, and before his marriage, but
that the artists always painted in the
missing member.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15

hat pair Of suspenders, and the arms
and legs Of 1ongshoremah doing calls
themes in the frosty air. The battered
remains of the 'longshoreman were car
ried away muttering blasphemy. The
COW after she had replaced her hind hoofs
on the ground was led on to the ferry by
the Jerseyman, who observed as he paid
his farei
"Takes more'n Yorker to learn me
lessons. "-New York Tribune.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
Never Fr0st.hitten.

During a conversation, recently, on the
subject of cold weather, stranger said -
II don't care how cold it is, my finger
ever get frost-bitten"
GLOW is that2" inquired several.
"Why, because" replied the stranger.
81 once monkeyed with buzz-saw. D.
PlLck.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15

There are innumerab!e instances where
cures have bsen effected by scoyilrs Sarsa'
thrirs. OF Blood and t,v-f Syrup, for oil
dis asses OF tho BLOOD, when the ratienS had
been given up by physicians II one Of the
best remedies ever offered TO the public, All
as it is prepared with the greatest care, a3
specific for certain diseases, it is no " -nder
that Il should be more efectual than "A tily
written and carsessly prepared prescriptions:
Take Scovill's Blood and Liver Syrup for all
disorders arising from-impufe Blood II Is
iudcrsed by all leading professional men.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT.
HUMOROUS STORIES THAT WILL
RAISE A SMILE

All Going TOgether-A Slim Chance
Curative Powers of Hot PIates-
Twisting a Cows Tail.
THE MAN WHO WAS bEFE
Ten. niaidens there were
Each one as fair
As the other nine.
Ten stars as bright
In lovely light
Each other did cutshine.
A tender swain,
With puzzled brain,
Lifts up his wailing voice
And in despair
He tears his hair
That be can't make choice
''Wail not!' they cried!
'tNor woe betide;
But rather do rejoice
That other ten
Much better men
"han you have made a choice"
WI J. Lamptoa.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15

1t is entirely different from Gil others il Is
as clea- rs water, and as its name indicates, 10
aperfect Vegetable Hair Restorer. 1t will i'm
med atey free the head from all dandruff, re-
store gray hair TO Its natural color, and produce
anew growth where it has fallen off. 1t does
not in any manner aft, ct the health, which
sulphur, sugar of lead and nitrate OF silver
hrepafatibns have done. It will change light
or faded hair in fe% days to beautiful glossy
brown. Ask your druggist for 1t. Each bottle
ia warranted. G. G. GOODWIN & Co., Who!e1
sale Agents, Boston. Mass, and G. N Crit
TFSToN New York.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15

The late Mr.. Holloway, the pill-maker,
was man of most precise and methodi-
cal business habits. He always used to
pay every one of his employees every night,
and insisted upon transacting all his bus
mess on q cash basis.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-02-15
Farmers, Folly.

Some farmers adhere, even against the full
light of fact and discovery, to the old fasn-
Toned folly of coloring butter with carrots, an
natto, and Inferior substances, notwithstanding
the splendid record made by the Improved
Butter Color, prepared by Wells, Richardson
&Co., Burlington, Vt. At scores of the best
agricultural Fairs it has received the highest
award over all competitors.