The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1884-09-10
A Rafting Speech.

A new republican orator appears in
Iowa. The following speech, pithy, cpl
gramatic, full of hot shot, was made by
j. P. Doliver, twenty-six years old, the
temporary chairman of the Iowa republic
can convention:
tout OF the abundance OF my heart thank
you for the honor which your favor has con-
ferred upon me. 1t builds up mans political
constitution to take a front view OF the fight
ing strength OF the republican party OF Iowa:
IL any of you have friends that are bothered
with political dyspepsia, who find trouble in
selecting from the printed bill of fare OF repub-
lican politics, l advise you to bring them here
and let them look In the face OF this magnifi-
cent assembly. Your conventions have always
been deliberative, your nominations repre-
sentative, your campaigns popular, and your
ballot-boxes too full for utterance OF straight
republican tickets Consequently democrat
has not been seen on the streets OF an Iowa
city after nine o'clock on election night for
quarter of a century. The music OF the tele-
graph office has been their annual elegy OF
grief They look upon bulletin board as an
enemy of free government and accept the
first half OF Franklins maxim, early to bed,'
when the returns are coming in. The first act
Of the democratic party is to file a schedule In
bankruptcy. Already their property Is out OF
their own name. Their national standard is in
the hands OF man whose name is not dis
closed by the democratic national record Four
years ago his name could have prudently been
used as an alias, under which to travel incog-
nito all over the known world, outside OF Buf-
falo. To elect him president would be like
lending money to stranger on the train. 1t
takes the cheek of the democratic managers to
play the whole American people for suckers
/ thank God that we belong to party that
saves the crown of its public honor for the
brow Of its actual leadership With the demo-
cratic party nominations are made not 30
much to represent the party as TO disguise it.
In its long struggle for existence the men who
have made the history of the party go to the
wall. 1t is the only party that ever existed
whose candidates and platform never throw
any light whatever either on its management
or its faith In fact, modern democrats OF the
practical school have no creed except the oath
of Office All the important democratic princi-
plies are unfit for use. They have been left out
in the field just where they were used last,
with not even bunch of swamp grass thrown
over them, in sun and rain, until rot and rust
have done their fatal work. 1t is true they
talk piously Of the need of reform, and with
an inexcusable libel accuse the integrity of the
republican civil-service. They work their
favorite classical allusion to the Augean sta
bles for all there is in 1t. These, they assert,
must be cleaned out Yet, from the general
appearance Of the crowd that is on hand to dc
the business, the average citizen Is likely to
conclude that their intention is to steal the fork
rather than clean out the barn. 1t is true they
pre-empt all sides of the tariff question. They
profess to settle that issue by jargon of words,
without precedent in the annals OF nonsense
and confusion. You might as well try to fiji
the hundred-headed dog Of the ancient fable
with straw hat as to place candid and intel
ligible tariff platform under the feet OF the
democratic party. They approach that ques
ton, and nearly every other, like man empty
ing hard coal ashes in high wind, with theil
eyes shut and their backs to the subject. Now
and then you find republican who enjoys the
momentary Importance that belongs to the
kicker and the scratcher The shortest road t
celebrity nowadays is to advertise your con
science in the newspapers. There are republi
cans who treat their conscience as If it wert
the stock in trade Of baking-powder factory
They solemnly protest that everybody's con
science has alum in 1t except theirs. They
adopt the doctrine of Matthew Arnold, anC
insist that in order to be safe the nation mus
furnish the remnant with complimentary tick
cts and front seat. They would have thu
whose names, il / may borrow phrase from
your good friend, Governor Carpenter, ar
written in the herd-book Of high politca
grades. Only last month a convention wa
held in New York psrlor in which the onl.
credentials called for by the committee were
written pretense OF holiness, and the only cree,
required Of the membership was: Il believ
in the communion of the saints Of Beacon Hi
and Franklin Square Let them commune.
trust they will stick together till they get thor
oughly acquainted with each other. | hav
the curiosity to see the effect of a genuin
fed nostril. This campaign will last Ion
enough to show to every sensible mans ey
that no possible combination of tight pants
looms and hay fever can defeat the anxious wi
of the real conscience of this country-th
republican citizens of America"