Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-07-18
OK kaleidoscope.
FNTlkEH

olacaup-chair just IN sight,
Boil upright,
Sat the jouns man, and the daughter
Was comp unding sonata
WIN her might!
Another woman whom George Washing
ton kissed has just died. That Nissis getting
to be about rs fatal as the cholira.
a Burlington mother has special room
for administering corporeal punishment to
her children. She calls it her box Office.
"Cau some Of your readers give Inc a
remedy for rubbing the eyes" asks young
lady correspondent of the New York
Jouyaal. Don't sit up so late at night with
your young man.
1t IS SAID that Ella Wheeler Wilcox has
written about 1900 poems. She won't need
to order sbavings Tor kindlng the fire this
year, anyway.
"a flower has been discovered in South
America which is only visible Nhen the
wind is blowing In this country it is
know as the Flower boom.
"rherc, now! :" cX laimei Mrs. Ba'cpm
"the paper says that Prof. Henry Clum, Il
noted scientist, has been instantly killed by
the explosion of rc'ort. What n warning
TO married men not to quarrel with their
wives ~
"Ab, dun'l come a-wooing with your long,
long face, and your longer purse behind !"
sings poetess ia Hd,po'S Ndg0zihe. That's
1.-THE guls want your purse to occupy the
front seat every time.
An Eastern family received telegram from
the West. announcing the sudden demise OF
IA relative, and they replied, ''Seud on the
remains L, orcc." No telegram was receiv-
ed IN answer, but in few days Later letter
came, saying simply, "Ihcre amt no re-
names. lie war kcd by null
The visiting Maori king took of most OF
his clothes and went to sleep, in the British
parliament, the otter day. The heat of de-
bate was too much for Inn.
The inventor who has just placed upon
the market a "Jne wheeled vclJci, ,ede for
physicians" deserves the everlasting graft
ude of his fellow countrymen. Another
problem, connected with the rapid increase
of medical schools, has been solve |.
Il is said hat u man carries tue marks OF
his profession with him everywhere. We
were forcibly reminded of this, the other
day, hy seeing dentist, who was going in
swimming, carefully hang his clothes On a
stump,
Darling, love you :" he exclaimed. Il
don't believe it :" was the scornlul response.
"You haven't treated me to icc-crcam but
twice since our acquaintance began"
Opossum Butler up tree, to sportsman
with gun; "Nh, are your Sportsman
Clue independent party Butler; "Don''
shoot will come hight down.
"CryptoccocusZanth has been
discovered to be the real cause of yello y
fever. This will augment very much the
prevailing dreal Of the disease.
Aa indignant wife in Athens, Ga, march
cd her hu band home late at night recently
at the end Of shotgun. If Northern
women woull only substitute the shotgun
FIR the broom-stlck, they " I'D have far
less trouble in controlling their hu,banis.'
There is some talk Of Introducing
s-as N the pretty welding feature Of havin :
the choir CO he down the aisle to met tn,
bride and return with her t. the altar II
the soprano w)udn'' g;t the bride to gig
cling, it would be very n.ct indeed.
A Pennsy lvania oil kiag who has m .de Il
fortune in the last three years Is aIverti Ing
for wife Must be pretty state of AFT ,'rs
down IN Pennsylvania, whcn Il rich man hs'
to advertis. for a wife during leap year.
; Says the New Orleans Picayune, ar "a
sonahle proof which changes the mind oI
any man" II you could see the kind q
proof that comes into this ollie you w)ulC
be driven crazy n'ten minutes.
An exchange says that fashionable laiie;
Y are now changing their dresse- three or fou
a times day al watering places. Poor crca
r lures! how uncomfortable their dresse
+, must be.
o a little boy ia Carksvillo, Pa, has 81
grandmothers living. We don't know no,
= ne ever came by 50 many, but suppose l
a must hove been by fair and hOnorabl
J means The only objection is, that it ma
/, tend to make little boys with only one q
y two grandmo'hers feel dissatis SIZED and dis
- conteuted with heir lot.
Mountains in scotland are called bens
el We have only one Ben in this country, an
is his bal heat is o1scured by clouds, Just L
III present.
lie a contemporary advises the boys to MARI
~, W. young. The pcrliLence of this advice rushc
ld over us with iucsstbIe force, when W
J. think OF the vast number of young men VIII
are laying up useless riches on salary 1
SO a week.
Sarah Bernhardt, il is said, wants to con
do nit suicide, She hpd better use poison
81 Ten to one she couldn't hit herself with
81 dagger.
- "a Boston woman has kept diary fC
~, seventy-ive yeas" says an exchange Tn,
" may be, but has she written anything
1t?
-, A prominent clergyman recently told h
"A congregation thN he revcr swore hut one
w A member of his Bible class asked him co
sd fdentially, afterwards, if it wasn't upon Il
Ne occasion OF having bis collar button Dire
he down into his boot while he was leading
Nv frarmuny