The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-06-28

-Ouida.
A Burlington man calls his dog
Cork because his bark is so light.
Is man never at home because
his sins always find him out?
The woman who captures a good
husband gets a real sir prize.
There is a rumor alloat that Dr.
Mary Walker intends raising II mus
tachc.
Peaches in New York are 50 each.
81 for the peach and 81 for the doctor.
A shoemaker may not be able to
breathe his last, although he often cats
his awl.
It is an unblushing fact that the
rosy cheeks of the modern city belle
are due to art.
A horse is constantly urged when
ridden by an Irishman, because he al
ways has Pat on his back.
When wife has to get up IN tho
morning and light the fire, she invari-
ably makes it warm for the old man.
The first poem Ella Wheeler wrote
after her wedding was entitled 'The
lady Of Tears" Ho!
i A correspondent would like to know
how to get the tendon out OF Spring
chickens leg.-Pullet.
A pretty female child and a fine
bonnet are very much alike, in that
either may become Il handsome
woman.
In India girls never marry before
they are twenty-years old. There
must be good many girls from India
in this city now
A young lady attending a party
should have a female chapcron until
she is able to call some other chap
her own.
Birds OF feather flock together-a
man who will crow over the posses
sion of a pretty wife will always be
ravin' about her.
Papers have good deal to say about
the means of egress from the theatres.
Many people are more troubled about
the means for getting into a theatre,
than they are about the egress.
! In Minnesota several girls are rail
+ road station agents The company
should station agent at such places.
, Girls arc more liable to misplace a
q switch"
S Before marriage-Yes, Jennie, I
will always love you and be kind to,
e you.
a After marriage-Now, Charley.
a please don't go down town to night.
: "Who's running this ranch"
u "Let me sce,' thoughtfully said
' man who was looking at an old well,
II "the windlass needs repairs, the buck
ct leaks, the rope is rotten, and the
curBing is defective: but considered
y as hole, think it will do" s
o "Pap, what's the meanin' of the
!. word woman?' "Well, it comes from
the old Anglo-Saxon word 'woe-to-
= man. and of late years it has been
q abbreviated down to woman Ireck-
a, on you know now"
A man never begins to appreciate
how very fond and forgiving he is un-
G. til he has allowed his wife to make
e. him a shirt and to trim his mustache,
Ie and has choked back his wild desire
l. to 60 out and murder somebody.
" "What will the coming girls
:, wear?" is query in fashionable
: magazine. We don't know what the
coming girls wear will be, but the
: : present girls swear is usually "by
y, gum"
at A man named Yeast was married
Is in Oregon last week. Theirs one con-
ID ISOLATION for the young wife She'll
er have no trouble in making her hus-
e. band rise early i'll the morning-it is
" bred in him.
III Just before n Hindoo woman dies, a
"s cow is brought in, so that she may
" hold its tail as her soul leaves the bo-
y dy. This is probably for the purpose
II of switching her soul on to the right
track, via the milky way.
"Have you any Presidential aspira-
-, tions?" asked reporter recently OF
Sunset Cox. "Oh, no." replied Cox
quickly. "There are 50 many Jumbos
~ in the Presidential race from New
nc York that there's no room for the ba.
" by elephant"
ur "Haye you got the rent ready al
at last?'
tn "No, sir ma went out washing anc
rs forgot to put it out for you before sh,
left"
er How do you know she forgot to pu
it out?"