St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-09-14
TALK.


The precincts where the pigs are likely to
be at home, the place where they are toler-
ated for apparent reasons, can be eschewed
by the sensitive not used to pig ways, and un-
| fitted to cope with them.
But when they break in, or sneak in
where Christianity, forbearance and refine
ment are supposed to have barred them out
in their trampling and rank offenslveness at
least, then indeed tits time to complain.
There is no text familiar to the
preacher, which can be used with such vary
ing originality of adaptation as that known
under the suggestive title of the golden rule
That deals with the pigs in every guise
which selfshness can assume, from the dis
elimination that shuts out all Thought of the
neighbor, to the preclpitate swinishness
which effaces the human element with such
completeness that it is only described by
going to the pigs and their ways.
Aye, that golden rule; how little we see OF
it in practical daily life, and how seldom
does the Intervention of our neighbor, as
having analogous rights to our own, come
into our conscientious adjustment of
conduct
OF course not. 1t is one of those ideal ex-
pectations more honored in quotation than
in exercise, and hence the pigs have it
pretty much their own way, and truth COM
pels me to say that as far as material things
GO they have the best of it. To be sure
there is an Interior promise about the last
being first and gice gersd, but the cynic look
ing at the cattle show in this life feels that
the retaliation comes rather late, and by that
time the prosperous animals will be changed
and ranged into goats in transformation
| scene, which will leave no scope for satisfac-
tion-in the human sense.
When rich citizens large yard, with its
fine smooth green sward, as evenly cut as if
one of Lyle's best tonsorial clippers were
passed over it daily, is kept in such
! exquisite order at my expense
and in defiant violation of the Golden Rule,
I don't admire it asT should if the beautify
ing process were brought about by the just
accord Of precepts, or laws, divine and
human.
The city provides a dumping u round,
which is surely not an alley, the back out
look of humble and clean living neighbors.
But - the alley is handy; wheel bar
row when furtively used by the family makes
the whole identifying process simple and
inexpensive, very temptingly less than that
to which the average citizen is compelled to
resort.
And the neighborsl
Well, you know what Vanderbilt once said
about the public That's aboSt the drift
of it.
Every Sunday sees this pious family group
walking in justified fitness TO divine ca SER
vice, and yet as unmindful OF the funda-
mental doctrine OF Christianity embodied in
that same Golden Rule as Calmuck Tartars.
At my expense. Surely, when a conven-
lent alley In the rear is the receptacle for all
the debris these fine folk don't want in their
brave front premises, but which they are
! willing enough should offend the eye and
nostril of those who can't help themselves,
and if they could, well there are delays
enough where the trespassing Pig is rich,
and the health inspector half-hearted in his
work, for he knows nothing can come OF
complaints.
When yoz see the yard full .of genteel
p-gs playing croquet, lawn tennis and
other refined and prettily costumed games,
you know the bristes are there alley samee.
(The pun is awful, but remember the provo
cation.)
You are viewing the animal in conditions
where you would scarce expect to find him,
and he is positively more offensive so than
on his regular beat. And that reminds me
OF the frantic suggestion to have the police
proceed against one division Of the animal
in Rice park. He is at his lawless worst
where a policeman is the most irrelevant SUI
pernumerary. In parlors, in the Opera
house, in church, everywhere given over TO
beauty and chivalry, you'll see the Pig
wholly at his ease, and pretty apt to be sub
versive of yours.
In the cathedral during recent imposing
ceremony, when an immense throng was
gathered in commemoration Of a beautiful
anniversary, positively the animal was
there, cOnspicuously seated in front pew,
chewing tobacco with a capacity for iiquiiy-
ing it that never saw equaled. The move
ment of his jaws and the widening pool at
his feet had the attraction of repulsion for
the Onlooker.
Emerson speaks somewhere in his econ
duct of Life" of the wall tablets in some
meeting houses which ''plead with the wor-
shipper against the fury of expectoration. ~
The worshlpers must have been champion
chewers, like the pig in broadcloth at the
jnbilee.
The pig Is rampant at social gatherings.
At saltwater reception the prominent pig
was st. Paul man who iiercey josted a
woman aside when taking the car homeward
to get In ahead with his ''ladyn This
animal is the most aggressive OF
the Bristles family ever saw, and
>, his push is only equalled by his dense ignor-
ance Of the commonest forms OF good man
ners-not to speak at all of good breeding
a nor of its perfect achievement, thorough
= breeding.
G One would suppose that a little observa-
e ton might come to the animals rescue once
E in while, but his whole being is only in
= stinct with the impulse 10 look out for nun.
: Der one, and be does 1t to the entire elimlna
t ton Of every recognized human code of de.
pertinent.
Prominent in soeietyl-rather that sort OIL
9 force is bound to get on--and be is called
d and delights in describing himself asa gen
! tleman. Such animals are always exacting
: in epithets to which they have no claim, a.
; they are in privileges gained by brute force
! The distinction the Unlisted make be-
n tween man and gentleman, lady auG
e woman, is undreamed of n theil
dense ignorance.
Abroad the question decides itself Is 4
''lady or woman" asks the Pal Hal Gazsts