davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
DIR ECT,

''rm director in the company" said the
devil in newspaper Office ''Yo1 don't say
SOP" ''Yes, it's true'' ''What are the di
rector's dnties?" ''To direct wrappers, of
course. Merchant Traveller.
Tt is very funny, but as a general rule the
waiter in swell restaurant is about the only
person about the premises who doesn't wait
for anything. The man who orders the
chop does most of the waiting.-Boston
Star.
If man wants peace to reign in the house
hold he should count ten before speaking at
times when he feels as If his clothes don't
fit him. And on days when the kitchen stove
doesn't draw he should count 4SO.-MiddIe-
town Transcript.
''Before marriage, " she pouted, '.you used
to speak of my beautiful auburn locks, but
now you call me red headed" my dear, !"
replied the heartless man. marriage opens
the eyes Before that event I was color
blind. ''-Philadelphi Chronicle Herald
SIT is now settled" says an exchange
"that newly married lady ceases to be a
bride and becomes simply wife when she
has sewed a button on her husbands clothes T"
1t is this fact that makes us such happy peo-
pie. The country is full of brides.-Somer-
vile journal.
A correspondent writes us that the sub
joined queries and replies recently occurred
men have you read of by the name of
James?" Scholar-''TWo." Teacher-"What
we're their names?'' Scholar-'tFrank and
Jesse. Call
Three pedestrians were in town last week.
They wanted few cents help. They said
they were food sufferers. They appeared to
be remarkably dry for people who had been
submerged; but then, the Mississippi valley
is great ways off, and it is a long walk
Danbury News.
''How shall eat an orange in society?' is
asked. Eat it in a natural and graceful man
ner, and endeavor to keep your eyes from
bulging out as much as possible. Nothing
looks worse at the table than the sight of .
man crowding an orange down his throat
with both of his eye balls half way down his
cheeks. hiladelphia Call
This mornings woman applied at the sur
rogate's Office for letters of administration on
her husbands estate, ths estate being q claim
of few doila-s against the city. Did yeur
husband leave any personal property?" asked
Surrogate Lord. ''Indeed he did. . repIied
the widow, 'three boys and two girls" p
Troy Times
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
BEFORE APRIL 20

We propose to close out so far as
possible our whole stock of TOLL
EFT SUNDRIES and FINE
LEATHER GOODS, and to that
end have marked down all our
Fancy Goods from 10 to 80 per
cent below former prices. regard
less of cost.
Dressing Cases. Jewel Boxes
Work Boxes, Manicure Sets, CeIIu-
lOid Goods, Hand Mirrors, Hair.
Cloth, Tooth and Nail Brushes,
Puff Boxes and Puffs.
Foreign and Domestic Soaps,
Perfumes and Toilet Powders in
great variety, Hand Bags, Pocket
Books, Side Books, Gard Cases
and Portfolios all good stock, but
for cash they will be closed out at
very Low Prices.
Many articles, remnants from
our Wholesale Department, will
never be replaced, but others will
after the above date be marked at
old prices. An inspection puts no
one under any obligation, and we
trust our friends will examine QUE
stock and make their own estimate
of prices and quality.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
CONSTIPATION! !!
Price Two Cents

There is no medium through
which disease so often attacks the
system as by Constipation, and there
is no other i'll flesh is heir to more
apt to be neglected, from the fact
material Inconvenience may not be
Immediately felt from irregular ao-
tion of the bowels. When there is
not regular action the retention of
decayed and effete matter, with it's
poisonous gases, soon po1sonS the
whole system by being absorbed into
it. causing piles, fistula, headache,
impure blood and many other serious
affections. BURD0GK BLOOD BIT
TIERS will Immediately relieve, and
one bottle positively cure or relieve
any case of Constipation.
"Was troubled for a year with
torpid liver and Indigestion, and
after trying everything imaginable
used BURD0CK BLOOD BITTERS.
The first bottle revived me and the
second cured me entirely."-J. s.
Williamson, Rochester, N, Y.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

James Strings house in Bethel was burned Nom
day. Loss S4 900; insurance, 81 500.
Mr.. Tryhnsna Bsvans % years old gave a birth.
day party st her home in DaHbury on Monday,
UnionviIs farmers have subscribed S. 500 to start
creamery, 1t will be running In few weeks.
The Waterbury companies will probably turn over
thsir armory to the State, owing to the expense of
running it.
William Sessions Cf Rockville, with same help,
killed ffty-Aight snakes his residence In two
days last week.
Mrs Crosley Fitton, Of Rockville had her left leg
broken in two places Monday afternoon by being
thrown from runaway team
James KflIies. of KfIingIy nnissiug since February
a. was found drowned In the Q1inebauR river on
Tuesd4y. No inquest was thought necessary.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

A trade union in Philadelphia has given an
exhibition of the tyranny which makes these
unions 80 harmful to the real interests of
workingnen- A firm found it necessary in
some way to ent down the working expenses
of the establishment Either the wages paid
or the force employed had to be reduced, and
the firm, considerably reluctant TO throw
any of its employees out of work, proposed
the first merely as temporary expedient,
and promising that the reduction should be
made good as soon as business had sufficient
ly improved. The employees we're naturally
disposed to accept this fair. not to say gen-
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

would call the attention of those that
contemplate setting roses this spring to my
of dormant plants for immediate setting,
both Hardy and Tudor, at very low prices,
and shall offer about the first of next month
roses as follows: Eight tea roses, 81; tea
roses, 81; tea roses, 81; Hardy roses, in
pots, 81 Hardy roses 81, So per dozen /;
dormant, extra fine plants. special prices
No. 659 (old No. 1922 Chapel street.
aIe oaW3t
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

The general rule of Law is that a person
having pecuniary interest in a will is dis
qualified from acting e subscribing witness
thereto. In recent case before the Supreme
court of Iowa this rule was sought to be ex-
tended TO case where the witness was a
corporator of q charitable Institution and a
distributes upon the dissolution thereof, the
viii containing bequess thereto. The court
declined to so extend the rule.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

Des Moines man DOESN'T mean to be
kept out of politics. He publishes card
announcing that as many citizens have fall
ed to solicit me to become a candidate for
Office, I have concluded to offer my services
to the voters for the Office Of, etc.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

The Iowa legislature tried to enact a law
against liquor selling, making the penalties
far heavier than they have hitherto been. 1t
is now said that grave defect has been dis
covered in a vital feature of this bill, inas-
much as it amends sections of the code which
were subsequently repealed or amended by
another law. IF this proves true, the bill
will be practically useless, and there will be
only the former slight penalties to punish
violations of the new prohibitory law.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

Miss Amelia Mary CholmondOIy,
when In summertime she rode,
Did not look one whit less colnaoa dIeY
Than in winter when she sl0de.
As became farmers daughter,
milk she to the market took;
Mingled -four and eggs with wa7ghter,
And delicious tea-oakSs book.
By her Establishments the neighfng
Colts and bleattng sheep were caught;
And. they tell me, there's no ssfRhiag
What lot Of r1cks she thaught.
At her orders farm. yard beauties-
Turkeys, geese and hsns-were slain:
From her purse for weekly duties
All her fSthar's men were pain.
Mary, too, WAS always present
When the frisky lambs were shOrn;
And the chicks Of many phessnt
By her careful hands were rorn.
Spite of Mary's fond endsavour,
Once her favorats lap-doQ SWAN
Far from land and sank for eAvour,
And her eyes with sorrow dam.
Girl more Kind or bstter-hsartsd
Heer in all my life saw,
Scores Of sWGins for Mary amaarted;
she was perfect, all aaraW.
Thus, when to EIisha Farquhar
Hand and heart at last abe gave.
Though he was q billisrd-InarQuhar,
Happily with him she lave.
The st. James Gazets
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
Fish in Fulton Market.
Busy scenes at EARLY Horn in the fty's
RiIlEngsgate.

Busy Scenes at EARLY Aforn in the fty's
BilliHGsgate.
From the New York Tinas.J
Of the sixty million pounds of fresh ish
which are brought TO this city yearly, it is
estimated that fully 30 per cent. is sold at
Fulton market. So fast is the trade increas-
ing that the ash-house opposite the market
proper is far too small to give the commits
sion merchants all the room they require
to carry on their business. The supply of
fish landed here grows larger every year, but
the ever-inoreasing demand keeps pace with
it. There are more than sixty sailing vessels
engaged daily throughout the season in
bringing ash only TO Fulton slip. A great
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

NJ Clemenceau's definition of a snob is
going the rounds. It is forcibIe one. He
says a snob is lone absolutely. incapable of
valuing moral or mental greatness unless it
is first admitted by big people" There are
no snobs in New Haven.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

Theodore Hoffman, who is in Jail at White
Plains, New York, is to be hung tomorrow
He has been visited during the last few days
by number of young women, who have
succeeded in disgusting the jailer. One of
them When she left the condemned mans
presence was heard to exclaim: tOh, isn't
he nicer I think he is just splendid" What
shall We do with our girls9
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
EpIrOtstAL NUri S.

The world moves The Hon. James Irving
of New York city, a rascal who has been a
member of the assembly and of the Board of
Aldermen, has been sentenced to spend two
years and a half in Sing Sing.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
FOE SALE

BLACK mare 8 years old; I,650 pounds;
pony built, sound, hind and gentle; not
NF& Asfraid of cars road roller; great endur
snoe, free driver. safe far lady; suitable for
cart or two-sested wagon; good under Eaddle Ad-
astfi
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
.L7rs OF PAIN
RHEUMATISM and NEURALGIA have
long enough run riot in the human

RHEUMATISM and NEURALGIA have
long enough run riot in the human
system.
They have tormented the human family and
defed the medical faculty from time out of memory
they have corrupted the blood, deorazed the joints
yexed the nerves. agonized the muscles and racked
the brain with Wearying pain.
"ATHLoPHoRos /" is the enemy Of Rheuma-
tism and Neuralgia repairs their damages renews
the blood, the JOINTS cas the nerves. soothes
the muscles, gives rest and peace to the troubled
brain. and ensures delightful sleep.
''ATHLoPHoRos" is new remedy, but it has
been abundantiy tried. From far and come tes-
tinonials from weIlknown persons who had long
been sufferers 1t has turned their diseases out It
has cured them. That is all,-and that is enough.
"ATHLoPHoRos" can do for you what
it has done for those sufferers. 1t can
drive out your Rheumatism and Neuralgia,
and will do SO if you give it fair trial.
"ATHLoPHoRos' has by this time had such q
good trial all the country its true work is
known, and its true character proved.
EATHLoPHoRos" means stPrize- -Bearer:p
"Victor; Conqueror-n 1t carries off the prize as
VICToR the attacks Of these terrible raladies
and CoEQUERoR OF the frightfuI agonies their VIC
Tins have endured. Not mere temporary relief,
but permanent, enduring, and triumphant cure.
II you cannotget ATHLoPHoRos of your drug
gist, we viii send it express paid, on receipt OF
regular priee-one dollar per bottle. We prefer
that you buy it from your druggist but II he
hasn't it, do not be persuaded TO try something
else, but order at once from US as directed
ATHLOPH0R0s CO.. ll2 WALL ST., NEW YORK.
gsEIERsaESExzEsEssaa 4. R.R.EaAEHRaIllalESHsEIER Z.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
THURSDAY MORNING.

erous, arrangement. but the unien stepped
in ara fol bale them to do so, and conss-
quent suspension of work seems to be inevitS
able.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

Two reliable astronomers, Professors
Hough and Burnham, of Dearborn obssrva-
tory, have been making some careful mi-
/ crometrical measurements Of the planet
Sirius and his moon. This planet Is the
brightest in the whole armament, and its
distance from the earth is estimated to be
| 1876, 900 times greater than the distance OF
the sun, or about r23, 75o, 900. 100000 miles
Or, to measure its distance In another way,
| its light, travelling at the rate of 180, 600
miles per second, would be more than twenty
one years in reaching the earth. In other
words still, the astronomer who turns his
telescope now on that star sees it as it was
more than a score of years ago. The di-
mensions of the star must be enormous, even
as compared with our sun, for it is quite
twice the brilliancy of any of its companions,
while our sun at that distance would prob
ably appear like star of the fourth magni-
tude.
The Calumet and Hecls copper mining
company, which recently passed dividend,
is the largest copper-producing enterprise in
the world. II employs 1850 men. and its
product last month was the largest ever
known in the Lake Superior region, being
2,O62 tons. In 1882, out of total extracted
from this region of $4,000, 900 pounds, this
company produced 80, 600 600, and in 1888.
out of a total of $4,000, 600 pounds, their
yield was about 80, 900, 600. The copper iG
prepared for market in ingots weighing from
twelve to fifteen pounds, shipped in barrels
Weighing 1880 pounds net, also in plates
weighing $50 pounds each, and in bars
weighing 13O pounds each, the latter being
rolled with special reference to the manufae-
ture of telegraph wire. The present price
of copper is 144 cents pound, decrease of
years ago. Excess of production and de
crease in the demand for manufacture is the
chief cause of the decline
Mr.. Cupples, the publisher of Miss Nc
Leans ''Cspe Cod Folks,'' tells some curious
facts concerning the result of the libel suit
which was decided against him in favor of
one of the characters in that book. 1.-THE
strangest part of it," he says, twas the in
stantaneous effect of Nightingals's verdict
upon Cedarville. Claims of all sorts began
to pour in upon US, exorbitant in amount
and from quarters unexpected, and, indeed,
unheard of. Threatening letters promising
tho rig0rs of the law were abundant. This
perfect storm of clamor was always a CRY for
'bRchsheesh.' It had but ons burden-money,
money, money. Persons who had been paid
or promised compensation; persons who had
delayed for years in making mention of their
wrongs; persons who had refused to bring
suits because they had no claim, either made
demands or increased them. We must
either pay the entire village or fight it. De-
iberately, and for many reasons. We prefer
red to settle. To-day, with trifiing excep-
tions, every man, woman or child whose
name is even casually mentioned in the novel
called Cape Cod Folks has acknowledged
full satisfaction. No such person in the
entire community has failed to advance
claim
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
MEMORANDA

II EOI " NnO N1IOVCS
IN ne70 string shades,
70hzch zOe expected Aasz
z0eek, a11Tved on Mon
day. The neqO line OF
shades IS eeguls1te, ana
the quality turns out to
0ur entire satzs1actzo1s.
NE placed the order
6r these g00as early
last jail IN 0rder 10 get
them made from the
manufacturers first
choice Of skins.
N07V that the satm
seems at kasE to be-
struggling hhr0mgh the
clouds, ladies are be-
ginning TO look for Par
asols. We haze PRO
aided a liberal choice
0f me7O g00ds. Tie
styles are IN many re-
sbecks qulte moveI this
season; some Of them
ve1ybretty, others 70hoSe
merit is berhabs more
IN their m0velty than tn
zhelr beamty. But qOe
can sh0zV them all, ana
zVe hare made sure 0t
one thing, the quality IS
alaOays neht for zhe
brzce. There IS no rub-I
6zsA, akth0' there are
same very cheap goods.
II good many moveE
ties IN Ladies an a
Children s CoLIars haze
come TO hand IN the Aas1
6q0 days.
WeAave been boxing
ar0umd am0mg0ur odds
and ends last zOeek ana
hare fund a mum6er
Of sh0rt Aemgzhs ofbne
Gimps and Fringes
and 6r0kem dozens Wl
Cloak or Dress Orna-
ments. Instead Of g0-I
ing hhr0mgh them IN ae-
talh amdma1klmg them
d07Ou, a0e bmt them into
a job lot and instructed
tie clerks to take SO
ter cent or 0me-haII
from every sale made
from that lot till HeI
o06aS Sh0mkd6e all gone.
Il aOeek qVlH dO IT. PER-
habS less. They are all
meaO and fashlOnabze
g00ds. |
In the same q0ay z0e
tut aside a large lot gI
White Cam6rzc Com
bination Trimmings,
bM6fmgs, Mckzmgs, &c,
and mil gzve IS PERI
cent or 0me50mrtA dis
count of every sale in
that lot.
IN Calicoes and IN
Gingham Dress Goods
70e haze some Ve1y en-
raOrdamapy bargains,
parzlcmLars 0f zVhlchl
yoM zOlX obtain IN zhe
Store.
PeQbA are telzng
each other about HeI
very unusual value zVe
are gzvlng IN Black
Silks at present. SO ne
aaooa mi Am tar cAncpl
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17
sANFORD'S RADICAL CURE,

COLLINS Sa n: i;sf :aS Il tas
y VOLTAGE /nnatism, Neuralgia, ScisticA. Coughs,
\NA AAt%I1/, Colds, Weak Back, Stomach and
>NNNfE<z<I/~Bowels, Shooting Pains, Numbneea,
~ = ~ Hygteria. Female Pains, PAlpitation,
~H.HSN$ Dyspepsia, Liver Complaint, Bill
IL ~ZJl >ious Fever, Malaria, and Epidena-
rL%>/\\ les, nse Golttns' PluSters, an
EELLLl. ~ \ e ectrie Battery combined
/E,G5StRS = with a Porous PlaGterl and
PIA STERS laugh at pain. 25c everywhere.
alTmathaw
Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-17

The sales Of Blackwell's Bull Durham Smoking
Tobacco far exceed those Of any other brand in
the world, simply because 1t has been and win
be- the best that can be made All dealers have it
Look for trademark Of the Bull on every package
The Arizona champion., 1884-04-12

from $50 to S85 and board per month.
 16. Common lumber from SIP to SIS per thousand.
 IT. Granulated sugar ISH cents per pound.
 IS. California fruits are in general use. Tomatoes S4.5o per case, Cal. fruits from SITS to So.5 50 per case,
 10. Flour S4. 5oio $. Ham from IS to 2I cents per pound.
 20. Our beef is unsurpassed in this section. Steaks in cuts I2 to IS for choice carcasses 61a to s cents, by the quarter 10 10 cents per pound.
 2I. 40 per cent of the land IS parks and mesa country.
 a2. Homesteads and preemption can be taken.
 23. Business lots S25 to $50.
 Our natural resources are unsurpas' sed, and our extensive mills and pro- iected railroad makes our section a desirable one.
The Arizona champion., 1884-04-12
E-rzz-z=-,E-zz@z7z1s

The Tucson Star favors C. O. Brown, one of the oldest citizens ot that city, as q candidate for the sher, llalty of Pima county. No better man for the position lives in that county than Charley Brown, but shades of departed greatness, what has come over Hughes, that he should speak favorably of Charley? Years and years passed when these neigh bors did not hold "communion" with each other, in fact to hear one speak of the other, one was thief, and the other q would be murderer! Charley has recently been successful in his mining speculltions, and pe'haps Hughes sees in the dim distance an opportunity to ''climb the golden stair" by another route!
 "Oh, woe is me; oh, woe is mo.
 To see what l have seen
 See what l see!
The Arizona champion., 1884-04-12
Great Men Win Differ

The Los Angeles Herald contains a short but peppery editorial directed against James Gordon Bennett cen suring him for the loss of the Jeanette and responsible for the sacrifice of human life that the vessels loss in volved. Mir. Bennett IS recognized throughout our land as a public spir- tied gentleman and eminent journal ist, and no right thinking person at tribute to him selfish or sinister mo- tive in the offer of the Jeanette for the Arctic expedition. Unhappily for both the country and MT. Bennett, the brave men perished- as many brave men have done before in combating against the elements while endeavor- ing to promote the development of civilization. To cry out against MT, Bennett now, savers too much of the "did'nt tel! you so" policy of a great portion of the human family who never make any suggestions in tune to avert calamitieS or disasters. In spite of the Herald's "tabooing" of the north pole. thousands of delu- ded people no doubt will insist upon believing in the existence of an open Polar sea.
The Arizona champion., 1884-04-12
A Wonderful Discovery.

From the Prescott Daily Miner we learn of another of those important and wonderful discoveries that are continually being made in northern Arizona, and which, from its unique character and close proximity requires especial notice at our hands.
 A few days ago the workmen in the Chromo mine in the United Verde group, came upon q subteraneous pas sage which proved to be tunnel long since deserted, yet of style and pattern still found in the Spanish American portions of the continent, where modern methods have not been introduced. In the center of the apartment stood a cross which when seized upon crumbled into dust, as also did the timbers supporting the sides ol the shaft when once we'll eX- posed to the air. Scattered along the bottom or floor of the shaft were found several stone halChets the well worn edges of which bore evidence of much use. The greatest find, howev- CT, in this wonderful subtereaneouS cavern was reserved for John Bright and ames Dillon, who on Sunday morning, Tn the extreme end of the shaft unearthed two complete suits of armor and two swords. One of the suits was of Milan, still of the most exquisite design and workmanship. and of the pattern so highly prizeo | by the soldier of the sixteenth Centu ry. The other suit of armor of All ceret was of equal design, and was recognized as the particular style so highly prlzed fer its defensive quail ties by the warriors of the middle ages. The swords were of the fam. ous Toledo make that IS associated with all the affairs, honor and TO. nance of two centuries ago, and one of them bore the Spanish ledgend, "Draw me not without cause. Yield me not without honor"
 It may not be eNtravagant to sup pose that the armor and swords may have belonged to two rival cavaliers, each of whom laid down their lives in a struggle for the possession of the wealth in the midst of which they died. It has, however, been reserved to us to reap the substantial reward as we grope among the dust and ashes of the people who made the discovery of its greatness and @ho by these kin, dred relics leave 10 us the knowledge also that it was war and strife which was their bar to progress.
The Arizona champion., 1884-04-12
Agent Riordan Resigns.

A Gallup special to the Albuquer- que Journal says agent Riordan re- signed the agency of the Navajos on the oth inst.
 It is probable agent Riordan's res ignation will not be accepted at pres ent, owing to the somewhat compli, cated condition of affairs on the res ervation and the disinclination of the whites to let the agent off at this time.
 We are not so far away as to be a diSlnterested party in this matter. and whatever cause MT. Riordan may have to complain of in the apathy of the authorities at Washington, he is not justified in hastily abandoning the interests ot the white people of this section who have always, so far as we know, sustained him.