The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-11-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Men scorn to kiss among themselves,
And scarce would kiss brother;
But women want to- kiss so bad
They kiss and kiss each other.

Ihey KISS ana KISS each OJher.
A little boy who had been used to receiving
his elder brothers old toys and clothes, recently
remarked; Ma, shall [ have to marry his
widow when he diesl"
A lawyer says that a convenient way of testing
the affection of your intended is to marry an
other woman. If she don't love you, you Will
find it out immediately.
81 am surprised. John!' said an old lady when
she found the butler helping himself to some of
the finest old port. Soam 1, ma'am," was the
reply II thought you had gone out"
1t is said that love eonquer5 all things but a
jumping toothache that knows its business and
strictly attends to it can, for the time being,
make man forget that he ever loved at ALL
Burlington Free Press: us a woman capable
of filling an oficel" asks an exchange. She is.
A woman has just been inquiring after some re
jected manuscript in this Office, and she filed it
completely for the time being.
When Lord Randolph Churchill was very
small boy his mother reprimanded him one day
for some misdemeanor. Not knowing it, his
father began to talk to him on the same subject.
Looking up in his face, Randolph said, solemnly,
MY mother has tended to me-"
Norrstown Herald: "What is economy asks
the Philadelphia North American. Well tell
you. It is paying ten cents for cigar and
compelling your wife to turn her last seasons
dress to make it do another winter. The coun-
try is fairly bullying with such economy.
Yonkers Statesman: Are you going to
Miss Fussanfeathers partyl" asked young
lady of a friend as they met on the
street NO was the response. .'And
why not, pray7 1t is to be very swell" yes 1
know; but haven't anything to wear" ''Oh,
you don't need anything much; it's to be full
dress, you know"
''What kind of dog is thatP' asked q visitor
of his host, as he saw a lean, hungry-looking
front gate. '"Phats watch dog, observed the
owner, proudly rs he a good watch dogP'
well l think So 1t takes my wife and myself
half our time to watch him for fear he'll eet up
everything in the house.
Judge T., who is now a very able judge
of the Supreme Court, when he first came to the
bar was a very laundering speaker. On one oc-
casiou, when he was trying case involving a
sight of property to lot of hogs She said: "Gen-
tlemen of the jury, there were Just twentyfour
hogs in that dRove-just twenty four, gentlemen;
exactly twice as many as there are in chat jury
Two friends were eonversing the other day
concerning a young lady named Joy, whom they
sthought very beautiful, but who seemed de-
eidedly averse to changing her name. One.said
us it not strange she'does not marryF met at
''Why not, pras" because her favorite poet
forbids it. Does not Keats say, "A thing of
beauty is a joy forever'P
London Punch: Things one would rather
have left unsaid Mrs. MildInay-"Are you
looking for seat, Sir Guy? Come and sit here
between George and me!' Sir Gsy BrummeI
with playful humor)-''No; l will not come be
tween husband and wife. Nobody can say I
ever made man jealous!' Mrs. Mildmay wish
ing to be pleasant mo, indeed-that I'm sure
you never did" Moral-Beware how you make
insineere jokes about yourself.
''Look heah, Ransom, said an old negro to a
young fellow, 81 doan' min yer 'sociatin' wild my
daughter, but l druther yer wouldn' come roun'
my hous mo-. Time fore dis las what yer
wus heah, missed er water bucket, an de las
time de bride wus gone, an now, ez Ihas use
fur de saddle, druther yer wouldn' come heah
dom say dat yer amt homes, fer b1ebes yer
is, but such cuts things happens while yer is in
the neighborhood, so jes' ter please er ole man,
doan' come roun' dis house no mo-"