davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
THE MAN WITH GLASS LEGS.
Doctors Scheme to Destroy the Queer Fancy of
q Diseased Imagination.

HaIlucinations? d" said DR.. Jenks "Knew
a man once who thought his legs were made of
glass. Lived down East. An old, wealthy,
dyspeptic bachelor. think the idea about his
legs was the result of dyspepsia, but l WAS quite
boy at the time. Any way, the old boy was
SO afraid of having his legs broken that he cried
out when any one approached the bed. There
was an old doctor in the vicinity who was half
mad himseif-be went to the asylum later
and this old fellow determined to cure him.
One day he called and asked the old man to
come out for drive. OF course the old fellow
was Mortified, but the doctor insisted, and he at
last consented to CO. A bed was made up in
the doctors conveyance and the dyspeptic car
ried out and tenderiy laid in it, They drove
off and about. until over a hill little distance
Off they saw the stage coming Then the doc
tor, by dexterous twist of the lines, over
turned the buggy and tumbled the old man out
into the middle of the road. Of course he cried
out that he was done for, but the doctor righted
his buggy and drove Off leaving him sguirming
in the middle of the road, and quite unable to
move, owing TO his glass legs. Suddenly he was
alarmed by a shout, and saw the stage come
tearing down the slope, heading straight for
him. He gesticuiated, but the doctor had
fixed things with the driver, and the stage
came right along. Well, the old fellow stood it
till the stage was only a few feet away. Then
he jumped up and ran-ran clean back to town
and was never bothered with glass legs again"
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
NOVEMBER NONSENSE.

The rivals: Lankson, who looks older than he
is By the way, Piumpton. there is about years
difference in onr ages, isn't there?" Plumpton,
who looks younger than he is year! Why,
when was little boy and you used to pass our
house remember my father saying, There goes
old Lankson !'H-LBe.
Sir, demand your thaughter's hand in mar
rage,'' boldly said the gifted young man to the
great Millionaire. . do not ask il favor from
You. We love another That is sufficient. /
am her equal in every respect" Ali" exclaimed
the Millionaire; "are you plumber" No, sir! :"
proudly responded the valiant suitor. "A bank
cashier, with exhausted shortage?" No. sir !"
"A coachman?" Il mott" and his lip
eurled. proud in disdaip. You not a base
ball pitcher, with rife twist, that you thus
inperiotisly ask for the hand of who will in
herit milions?" NO, sir l am the inventor and
patentee of an automatic car coupler" Take
her, take her" cried the bionairc All de-
mand in return is that in no idle moment you de-
eide to pay the national debt."--Financiai Record
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
A Postmaster Who Didn't Want to Stay.


owe have some peculiar specimens of post
masters in Arkansas" said Gen. Edgarton.
How is that?"
81 received this letter to-day from the honor
able gentleman who superintends the mail at
Spoonvilie, which was in answer to one sent
him few days ago. / wrote him as follows:
"Mr. -, Postmaster at Spoonyille,
Ark STR: l am informed that the business of
the Post-otlice at your place is conducted in the
same room where whisky is retailed to custom
ers. This, you know, is contrary TO Post-oflice
rules and regulations Please explain.
"To this signed my name in nay Official Ca
pacity. Here is his reply, after the superserip-
tion
'SrR: If you don't like my way of doing
business you can take your id Post-office and
send it up Salt Creek. Yours,
"P. S.-Ive been trying to get rid of the
id thing for four years.
"Weil, what will you do?"
"Oh, nothing suppose. You see, the Office
is not worth Sl2 year, and we have to take q
great deal from these fellows"
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
He Agrees With Corsraae Smith.

To THE EDITOR: The suggestion of JAS T.
Smith, from tho Office of the Auditor of the
Treasury. in reference TO the size of THE Ma
TIoNAL TRIBUNE, meets my hearty approval,
as believe it does of great majority of the
readers of orr excellent paper. / have thought
of the same thing myself Many articles are
valuable and well worth preserving, aud with
the page reduced to about one-quarter of its
present size We would have q journal that
could be bound and preserved for future refer
ence. / am sure that the most of the comrades
would be willing to have the subscription price
raised little in order to bring about the de-
sired change. - THEo. f. KENDALL, Rock
Island, Ill.
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
Titles in the South.
IGrifin (Ga.l Neses.l

"What Colonel is that!" asked stranger of
Griffin barkeeper.
You mean that chap who just went out2"
"Ycs, that tall, handsome man. l suppose,
Of course, he is q Colonel"
"That shows how little you know about the
glorious South" returned the bark eeper.
Anybody might see he is not Colonel. He
is only Major. Didn't you see him drink 2"
"Yes"
"Weil, he only took three fingers. A Colo
mel takes four"
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
He Lived for Her Gnly.
ic Aiftn tVi sts VhtJs
IDrnl..gis Yl-na.rIforf. hfn.,ll--i.,1

IDTdke's ITdveuer's MaDdsise.I
as that you, John ?" inquired Mrs. Brown,
az she sat up in bed, early in the morning
'Sish thic)! my dear" replied figure,
which was moving unsteadily about in the
dark.
"Ob, John, drunk again, and you know I
told you that l would be surprised to have
you come home sober from that political meet
ing"
That's (hic1 just the reason (hiel, my dear.
the 'sprise (hic) would be too (hic) much for
you"
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
INOCULATED POISON !

Some eight years ago became the victim of fearful
Blood Poisoy communicated by 10 my infant,
thence through the breast and suffered for six long
years. The Mercury and Potash treatment seemed TO
drive the poison further iuto my system only 20 break
in worse OH other portions of my body. Three
months ago began taking swiits Specific and ii has
cured sound and we'll IL Is the greatest blessing
which has came to mankind IN Wears
MRS I. ". LEE,
Greenyilie, Ala Sept 4, tSSA
Lention The National Tribune
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
pon,t Wear Cunlhersou,e Trusses

when our new method without use of knife, is
guaranteed 10 permanently cure the worst cases
of rupture Send two letter stamps for refer
enccs and pamphlet. Worlds Dispensary Med
icaI Association, Buffalo n Y,
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
LYDIA 4. PEMNHAhn'S
VEGETABLE Compound
"a =. *lsA POSITIVE CURE
For eli of these Painful Complaints and
Weaknesses go common 20 cur best y
~ sFEaIALE EPCPULATION.* -

HT WILL CURE ENTIRELY THE WORST FORM OF FR-
MALE COMPLAINTS, ALL OVARIAN TROUBLES, In
PLANTATION AND LIBERATION. FALLING AED Dis
PLACEMENTS, AND THE CONSEQUENT SPINAL. WEAK
NESS, AND IS PARTICULARLY ADAPTED TO THE
CHANGE OF LIFE.
IT WILL DISSOLVE AND ExrEL TUNoRs FROM THE
UTERUS IN AN EARLY STAGE OF DEyELorMENT. TIE
TENDENCY TO G CANcERoUs IiUMoRs THERE'S CHECKED
VERY SPEEDILY By IT'S USE. y =
Ir REMOVES FAINrSEss, FLATuLENCY DESTROYS
ALL CRAVING FOR oRsTIaUi.ANrs, AND RELIEVES WEAK
MESS OF THE STOMACH. 1T CURES BLoATING, HEAD
ACHE, NERVOUS PRosTRArIoN, GENERAL DEBILITY,
DEPBEssIoN AND INDIGESTION \ =
THAT FEELING OF BEARING Down, CAUSING PAIN,
WEIGHT AGD BAcKAcHE, is ALWAYS PERMANENTLY
CURED By IT'S USE.
IT WILL. At ALL TINES AND UNDER ALL cIRcuM-
STANCES ACT IN HARMONY WITH TIE LAWS THAT
GOVERN THE FEMALE SYSTEM. =
Sg-ITs PURPOSE is SOLELY FOR THE LEGITIMATE
HEALING OF DIsEAsE AND TIE RELIEF OF PAIN, AND
THAT DOES ALL 1T CLAIMS TO DO, THOUSANDS OF
LADIES CAN GLADLY TESTIFY. ga ~
y FoR THE cUEE OF KIDNEY COMPLAINTS IN
EITHER SEX TfIs REMEDY Is UNSURPASSED. \
LYDIA E. PINKasI'S VEGETABLE COMPOUND In
prepared at Lynn Mas Price 81 Six bottles for S.
Sold bg all drpgJista. Sent by mail postage paid ia form
Of Pills InzeDgcs receipt OF price above. Mrs.
PinlhaSs eG,iae to Heah will be mailed free to any
Lady sendin, STAMP Letersconiidcntiay answered
70 family should be without LYDIA j.. pINIrTAM'S
TIVFs PILLS They cure Constipation Biiousless and
xsrPidity Of the Liver. % eeIts per boz
The National tribune., 1884-11-13
SILKS for PATCHWORK

In 5Ocent and 90 packages Handsomest assormenteysz
offered Our 20 cent package of Best Embroidery Silk
assorted colors and illustrated Book of fancy stitched
designs &e for work. free with every 81 ordar
YALE SILK WORKS, New Haven Conn.
Mention The National Tribune
The National tribune., 1884-11-13

1t was IL o'clock Friday, May l, before
Gen. Hooker was ready to advance. He
moved down the plank road and the turn
pike The troops deployed as well as they
coul / in the thicIe;s. Gen. Sykes met the
troops of McLawss Division and drove them
towards Tabernacle Church. Gen. Anderson
advanced TO support McLaws. Gen. Warren,
Chief Engineer for Hooker, thought the
ground favorable for fighting a battle, but
Gen. Hooker thought otherwise aud ordered
the troops to fall back to Charlottesville as
. much stronger position. He selected a
defensive line and threw up breastworks and
felled trees, making strong abatis in front
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27

any other foreign ports, provided the presi-
dent of the United States shall suspend the
collection of so much of the duty herein i'm
posed on vessels entered from any port in
the Dominion of Canada, Newfoundland,
Bahama islands, Bermuda island, West In
da islands, Mexico and Central America,
down to and including Aspinwall and Pana-
ma. as NAV be in excess of of the tonnage and
light house dues, or other equiya-
lent tax or taxes imposed on
American vessels by the government of
the foreign country in which such port is
situated, and shall, on the passage Of this act,
and from time to time thereafter. as it may
become necessary by reason of changes in
the laws of the foreign countries above
mentioned, to indicate by proclamation the
ports to which such suspension shall apply,
and the rate Of tonnage duty to be collected
under such suspension, and that all vessels
which shall have paid the tonnage tax i'm
posed by section 4, 219 of the revised statutes
for the current year, shall not be liable to the
tax herein levied, until the expiration of the
certificate Of this last payment of the tax.
Mr.. Townshend wished to offer an amend
ment, that all material for ship building
come in duty free, but he was cut off by a
demand for the previous question.
The bill then passed.
Mr.. Thompson presented a report from
the Pacific Railroad company on the bill to
amend the sinking fund act. Placed on the
house calendar.
Mr.. Burnes, from the committee on ap-
preparations, reported the consular and dip
lomatic appropriation bill. Referred to com
mittee Of the whole Adjourned.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
THE BRITISH IN EGYPT.
King John Promises the Help Of His
Army in the SOudan.

LONDON, April ga Cairo correspondent
telegraphs the Times the following: can
English officer of great experience in Soudan
and friend of Gen. Gordon, assures me
that he possesses abundant proof that Ze-
behr Pasha is intriguing in the Soudan, and
that he is responsible for the recent uprising
north of Khartoum.''
The Times recommends an immediate in
quiry into this matter.
A council was held at the war efIice this
morning. 1t is reported the Duke of Cam
bridge, Lord Wolsely, the Marquis of Harting-
ton, and others in authority, advise against
the expedition to Berber at present, or any
advance until full force can be equipped
for the relief of Khartoum in the autumn.
The Egyptian troops at Assouan, and other
stations in upper Egypt, are disaffected, and
declare their intention of joining Mahdi,
and numbers are deserving.
Advices from Abyssinia, state that King
John has agreed to Admiral Hewitt's pro-
posals to invade the Soudan, relieve the
Egyptian garrisons and assist them to with
draw through Abyssinia.
DUBLIN, April 26.-The Daily Express says
James O'Kelly, M. P, who went to the Soud-
an as correspondent of the London Daily
Neaos after the death of Edmund D. Donovan,
has been taken into custody by the Egyptian
authorities, and suspicious documents were
found in his possession, among them letters
to Ell Mahdi.
PARIS April 26.-The Repub1qae Francaise
says, that at the proposed conference of the
powers concerning Egypt, the whole Egyp-
tian question, not simply the financial situa-
ton, will be de .tacto submitted to the arbitra-
ton of the powers.
CAIRO, April 25-The khedive is receiving
constant letters warning him that he is
doomed to speedy death, unless he abdi-
Gates. The force of guards at the palace has
been increased.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
Short Tired PRINCESS.

The death of the Duke of Albany is rightly
spoken of as premature; yet there can be
little doubt that his life extended consider
ably beyond the average of that of English
princes. The number is indeed astonishing
of whom there is no record save that they
died young. Not many persons probably
ever heard of Prince Octavius, the eighth son
of George Ill, who lived little more than
four years; or of Prince Alfred, his younger
brother, who lived less than two. To go
back to the Stuarts, Anne gave birth to sew
enteen children, of whom the greater num-
Der were stillborn; Of the remainder only
one survived infancy, and he was carried
off at the age of eleven. Anne, herself was
one of the eight children of James H., by
his first wife, Mary being the only other who
survived the period of infancy.
By Mary of Modena James had
six more children-all of whom
died in infancy except the Pretender and
Maria Louisa, the latter of whom did not
| complete her twentieth year. Of Charles rs
eight children, two died in infancy and four
between the ages of fifteen and thirty.
Charles, though he met with violent death,
was Ine longest nVed, save one OF his faith
er's seven children. The Queen of Bohemia
lived to the age of sixty-six: her three sisters
| all died in early childhood; as did Robert
Duke of Albany, who came between Hen
| ry and Charles. The Tudors were scarcely
more fortunate. OF the six children of Hen
ry VIII, two sons (by Catherine of Aragon)
died in infancy; while the second child Of
Anne Beolyn was stillborn. Henry was him
| self the only one of four brothers who attained
to manhood. And similar examination
extended to the Plantagenet princes would
! show that the fates were no kinder to them
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
IRISH NATIONALISTS.
Papers Found in Possession of the
Suspects, Eagan and DAILY.

BIRMINGHAM, April 26.-James Eagan,
the supposed confederate of DAILY, was ar
raigned to-day, Poland the prosecutor for
the government, declared that DAILY and
Eagan were accompHces, and that the police
had found tin can belonging to Eagan con-
tanning reasonable documents One dated
1879 gives an explanation of the constitu-
ton of the Irish republic. Another is a
manifesto, proclaiming that in case England
should become ivolved in war, Ireland
must rise or the Irish nationality would be-
come byword and reproach. The brethren
are eXhorted to provide themselves with
arms, practice shooting, and subscribe money
for the purchase of war material They are
urged 70 work quietly, but determinedly. Be
sides these documents, the police also found
samples of cartridges and arms. Papers
were also found in Days pockets, containing
the names and addresses of people in Brook
Ign and New York. Eagan was remanded
another week, in order that he might be ar
raigned with Daily.
DUBLIN, April 26.-Unusual activity has
been displayed by the police of late. It is
peIleVeu the government mas receINeu lhIor-
nation which renders it eXpedient to be
keenly alert.
LIVERPOOL, April 26.-John DAILY, the
suspected dynamiter, in jail the past two
weeks, awaiting trial, has been transferred
to Birkenhead, where the arrest was made,
and where the trial will take place.
DUBLIN, April 26.-The grand master of
the Orangemen, at Belfast, has received a
letter. warning him that the invincibles are
on his track.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
The Ice Weakening at Duluth.
Especial Telegram to the Globe. |

DULUTH, Mimi, April 26.-There has
been rain to-day and a warm, southwest
wind, which have a good effect in rotting
and breaking up the ice. 1t is thought
navigation viii be fully resumed not late
than the 10th of May. The propeller Quebec
will begin to load Monday and try to break
through the ice the latter part of next week
for north shore ports Duluth vessel owners
and marine men are signing petition to the
secretary of the treasury for the establishment
here of a board of local steamboat inspectors
Duluth is now in the Marquette district, and
the inspectors are 500 miles away, and The
marine business at this port is more than
that of all the others together in the district.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
AN EASTER SERMON.
.Tm glad that Easter sundays here, .

sIm glad that Easter Sundays here"
aid Mrs. Henry Gay;
"My bonnet new and other gear
I'll wear to church to-day,
A vein Of glory will pervade
My hymn OF praise and prayer,
For, when my toilet is displayed,
How Mrs. Bliss will starel
81 hate that horrid Mrs. Brown,
With all her quirks and smiles;
OF all the women in the town,
She apes the coarsets styles,
She bought her bonnet way last spring,
And wears it now for new
And as for that old Thompson thing
wow hate her, too!
81 hear Miss Jones, the cross-eyed cat,
Has bought new pekay
And terra Gotta Paris hat
To wear to church to-day;
And Helen White has got dress
They say is just divine
Come, Mr.. Gray, and do you guess
It's half so sweet US mine:
"There go.those awkward Wallace girls
They paint and powder, too,
They pad, and wear cheap bangs and curls;
They dol know they dol
You needn't laugh-I boldly say,
And stake my honor on it,
I'll paralyze them all to-day
With my new dress and bonnet.
-DeRger Tribune
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
A Frenz1ed Mothers Deed.

EAsToN, Pa, April 26.-This morning
Mrs. Amelia Barnet locked the doors of her
house, threw her two children, one aged two
years and the other five months, on the bed
and cut their Threats with razor. She then
gave an alarm, and as the neighbors rushed
in she drew the razor across her own throat
and threw herself beside her children. All
three are MORALLY wounded. The Barnet
family came here from Pittsburg, Pa, several
months ago.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
CONTRACT WORK.
Sewer on Wacouta and Sixth
Streets.
OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBIC wonKs,

OFFICE OF THE BOARD OF PUBLGC WORKS, I
CITY OF ST. PAUL, Mimi, April 22d, 1854.
Sealed bids viii be received by the Board OF
Public Works in and for the corporation Of the
city of St. Paul, Minnesota, at their Office in said
city, until II m. on the 9TH day of May, A.
d. 1884, for the construction Of a sewer on Wa
couta street, from Fourth (4th) street to Sixth
9th street; thence on Sixth 9th street
to Robert street, in said city, according to plans
and specifications on file in the Office of said
Board.
bond with at least two (2) sureties, In a sum
of at least twenty (20) per cent. of the gross
amount bid must accompany each bid.
The said Board reserves the right to reject any
or all bids.
JOHN C. TERRY, President pro TEN.
Official:
RI. GoRMAN, Clerk Board of Public Works
114-124
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
Drouth in Western Texas.

ST. LOUIS, April 26.-Advices from west
ern Texas are to the effect that cattle are suf-
fering and large numbers are dying for want
of water and grass, the drouth having been
very severe in that section. Myriads of cat
terpillars also appeared and are destroying all
kinds of vegetation.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
Probate Court.
Before Judge McGrorty.

Estate Of Michael Sweeney, deceased; pc
tition to amend final decree filed; hearing
May % at 10 a. m.i
Estate of George Storm, deceased ;Cmade
order for allowance.
Insanity of Maggie Johnson; information
FLED, warrant for arrest issued; examined,
found insane and committed.
Estate of Elizabeth Hardwick Johnston,
deceased; petition andwill filed; hearing May
20 at 10 q. m.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
Bucklin's Arnica SaIue-

The greatest medical wonder of the world.
Warranted to speedily cure Burns, Bruises, Cuts
Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever Sores, Cancers, Piles,
Chiblains, Corns, letter, Chapped Hands and
all Skin Eruptions, guaranteed to cure in every
instance, or money refunded; % cents per box.
For sale by Lambie 81 Bethune.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
Eyeryhody Knows 1t.

When you have Itch, Salt Rheum, Calls, o
Skin eruptions of any kind, and the Piles, the
you know without being told of it, A, P. Wilkes
B. 81 Z. Zimmerman and E. Sterile, the druggists
will sell you DR.. Bosanko's Pile remedy for fifty
cents, which affords immediate relief. A sure
cure
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
Grain Firm Snsnanded

CINCINNATI, April 26.-Sentenee of indef-
finite suspension against Nelson, Perrin &
Co., prominent grain dealers,wa pronounced
to-day by the chamber of commerce on a
charge of unmercantile conduct.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
Griees, G1xcerine sa1re.

The best on earth, can truly be said of Griggs'
Glycerine Salve, which is a sure cure for cuts,
bruises, scads, burns, wounds, and all other
sores viii positively cure piles, letter and all
skin eruptions. Try this wonder healer. Salts
faction guaranteed or money refunded. Only rs
cents For sale by P. j. Dreis, st. Paul, MINI.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-27
SUNDAY GLOBELETS.

POPE; Order is heavens first law.
AARON HILL: Order, thou eye Of action.
SCHILLER: The May of life only blooms
once.
FENELoN: Little opportunities should be
improved.
CoRNEnLE: The man who pardons easily,
courts injury.
HALLIBURTON: A suspicious parent makes
an artful child.
RIvARoL: A panic is the stampede Of our
self-possession.
COTTON: Pain may be said to follow plea
sure as its shadow.
BACON; A wise man will make moro OPP
portunities than he finds.
CARLYLE: A word spoken In season at
the right moment is the mother of ages.
SIR JOSHUA REYNOLDS: A room hung with
pictures is a room hung with thoughts.
SHARP: We must not only strike the iron
when it is hot, but strike 1t until it is hot.
LoNGFELLow: The air is full of farewells
to the dying, and..mournings for the dead.
LORD LANsDowN: To die and part is the
less evil; but to part and Live, there is the
torment.
BURKE: He that wrestles with US strength
ems our nerves, and sharpens our skill. Our
antagonist is our helper.
JOHNSON: Passion in its first violence con-
trolls interest as the eddy for a while runs
against the stream.
Bishop MANT: Correct opinions, well es
| tablished on any subject, are best preserva
tive against the seductions of error.
OrwAY: There is such sweet pain in part
ing, that could hang forever on thine arms
and look away my life into thine eyes.
| LAvATER: He who has no taste for ordeI
will be often wrong IN his judgment and sci
dom consistent o.; conscientious in his &C.
| tons.
FULLER: In fathers love like vel
drawn picture, he eyes all his children alik
| Gf there is a parity of deserD never parch
ing one to drown another.
SAMUEL SMILES 1t is not ease but effort
not facility but difficulty, that makes men
There is, perhaps, no''station in life in whicl
difficulties have not to be encountered ant
overcome before any decided measure of sue
cess can be achieved.
w. B. CLULow: 1 would rather be tn
author of one original thought than conquer
or of hundred battles. Yet moral excel
lence is so much superior to intellectual tina
/ ought to esteem one virtue more valuabl
than hundred original thoughts.