The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-06-09
a RkUTilfUL rktO.

-
a rlSUrnfUL rklO. E
The stories Related by Mark Twnin-Pe.
trolcnin->y. Nasby and Ell Perkins.
Chicago Tribune. is.-..
Mark Twain and Petroleum v. Nasty,
says Dom Plat, dined with Ell Perkins
at the latter's residence in New York. The
conversation at that dinner l shall never
forget: The stories told and "reminiscences
brought on! at that dinner would fill a
small book. r l=0,
Alter the laat course and after the ladies
had Withdrawn, the conversation turned
upon horses. Finally Mr.. Twain laid
down bis cigar and naked Perkins and
Nasty II they had ever heard vi fast
horss be Mark used to own in Nevada.
VI think not" eAid Nasty.
well, gentlemen" continued Mr..
Twain, as be blew smoke ring and watch
ed 1t, THAT was fast horse. liz was a very
iaat horse. But he was go tough bitsed that
couldn't guide him with a bit atalI"
How did you guide him?" asked Eli.
well, gentlemen, Ihad toguide HIN by
electricity. had to have wire lines and
had 10 keep battery in the wagon all the
time In order 10 stop him."
"Why didn't you stop him by holleriug
who.a?' asked Eli. IIE
stop him by hollering who-a!" exclaim.
ed Mr.. Twain. why, 1 could not boiler
loud enough for that hoyse to hear mo. lie
Travelled 20 fast that no sound ever reached
him from behind. He went faster than
the sound, sir. Holler whoa and he'd be
in the next town before the sound oil your
voice could reach the dashboard. Travel
faslr l should say he could. Why, I once
started from Virginia City TO Meadow
Greek right in front Of one Of the most
dreadful rain storms We ever had On TIE
Pacific coast. Wind and rain |? Why, the
wind blew eighty miles i'm hour and the
rain fell in sheets. drove right before that
storm for three hours-just on the edge Of
the hurricane and rain ior forty miles,"
q Did you get drenched ?"
"Drencheo? No, sir. Why, I tell YOU, I
drove right in front Of that rain storm. II
could lean forward and let the sun shine
on me, or lean backward and feel rain or
catch hailstones. When the hurricane
Stacked up the horse Stacked up, too, md
when it blew faster l just eaid, 'g-lk!, to
the horse and touched the battery, and
away We went. Now, don't want to lie
about my horse, Mr.. Perkins, and | don't
ask you to believe what say, but I tell
you truthfully that when got to Meadow
Greek my linen duHter WEB dry at powder,
Not a'drop Of rain OIL the wagon seat either.
while the wagon box Was leavel full of hail
stones and water, or Pm AID"
"Look here, gentlemen" interrupted Mr..
Nasty, "speaking Of the truth, did you
ever hear about my striking TINT man in
Toledo2" e+.t
Mark said he had never heard about II,
"Well, Dir, it WAS this way: "There was
man there-one Of those worldly. ekep.
tical fellowe, who questioned my yeraoity
one day. He said he had doubts about
the truthfu!ness OF one Of my cross roads
incidents. He didn't gay it publicly, but
privately. I'm sorry for the aake ot bis
vile and family now that he said 1t at all
-apd sorry Tor the man, too, because be
wasn't prepared 10 60. II he'd been a
Christian it would hsve been different, |
say didn't want to strike this man, be.
cause it's bad habit to get into-thia MAJ.
ing human chaos oat OF fellow man.
But he questioned my veracity and the
earthquake came. u struck him once
Just once. I. remember he was putting
down carpet at the time and had bis
mouth full Of carpet lacks. But a man
csn't etop to discount carpet tacks iu a
mans mouth when he questions Your We.
racity, can he? 1 never do, I simply
struck the blow" -
u don't think 1t did. 1t was too sud.
den. Vie byetanders said if was going
10 strike a second blow they wanted to
movesut Of the State. Now, l don't want
you to believe me, and don't expect you
will, but to tell you the honest truth, Mr..
Perkins, l squaehed that man right down
into door. mat, and his own wife, who
was lacking down the edge OF the carpst
at ths time, came right along and took him
for gutta-psrch rug, and actually taoked
him down in front Of the door. Poor
woman, she never knew that she was tack
ing down her own husband What be-
came Of the tacks in his mouth2 you ask.
Well, the next day the boys pulled them
out Of the bottoms Of his oyershoes,
and" 'gs
"Gsntlemen!" interrupted Eli, tit does
megood- 10 hear euch truths. believe
Ctclg SoIoi you coy naN l leeI luhl ought
to exchange truths with you. Now, did
you ever hear how I went to prayer meet
ing at New London, Conn, in a rain
storm" ~
They said they had not.
"Wcll, gentlemen" eaid Eli, "one day l
started for the New LondonI prayer meet.
ing on horseback. When I got about bali
way there there came up fearful storm.
The wind blew a hurricane, the rain fell in
torrents, theljghtning cleaned through the
sky, and I went and crouched down be.
hind c large barn. But pretty soon tho
lightning struck tho barn, knocked it into
] 600 splinteis and sent MY horse whirling
into neighboring corn PATCH" :
"D:d 1t kill your" MIR. Perkins," asked
Mr.. Twain, the tears rolling down his
cheeks -
!".No, it didn't kill me, but I was good
deal discouraged"
swell, what did you do, Mr.. Perkins?"
"What did I do? Well, gentlemen, to
tell the honest Connecticut truth, went
right out into the pasture, took of my coat,
bumped up my bare back and took eleven
CLIPS Of lightning right on my bare back
bone, drew tho electricity all out Of the
sky and then got onto my horse and rode
into New London in time to lead at the
evening prayer meeting. 5
How She Was Served.