Bismarck tribune., 1884-02-15
A PET ALLIGATOR.

A PET
Mr.. Louis Hanitch returned to Bismarck from
Dayton, Ohio, . day or two since, and brought
with him young alligator which : friend at
Jacksonville, Florida, sent to him. Yesterday
Mr.. Hsnitch presented the tropical bird to the
editor of the TRIBUNE as token of respect or
something, and the little fellow now lies in
bed of cotton in the TRIBUNE editorial room
He 1--WE guess he's hey isabout q foot in length,
and is as lively as an Indian kid.
The alligator is not a bandsome creature. He
does not claim to be professional beauty, but
he is upright and honest in all that he does He
is of frank, open countenanoe: 80 open is his
oountenance that when he does open it his feat
ures disappear a. if by magic and are sup
planted by yawning chasm which extends
away down into his depths. When he smiles
genially over some fond recollection. he reminds
one of the Rev. Talmage, and when he yawns he
leaves upon the mind of the spectator the un-
pleasant impression that he has split himself in
two. When the wise Creator made the alliga-
tor he probably did so as an experiment. Scien-
Gl9C8 &0V8uC6 tQ0 OA0Au Gu00 LAO AA0S AAVSAASAS"~
the rare bird for an opera singer, and made the
mouth the base of operations. He constructed
an enormous mouth and attached to the rear
suburbs of the jaws just body and tail enough
to prevent them from wandering away from
each other and getting lost in tho crowd, and
then stuck in what little material He had left
of that texture for legs. len the job was thrown
ASIDE as failure The creature was 80 pecu-
liarly constructed that it couldn't kick, and in
His wisdom He foresaw that the opera singer
would one day be the champion kicker of the
universe. Theatrical managers have ever since
regretted that the prima donna was, not left in
the original form. The mouth, however, was re-
tanned, and with different body the fair warb-
Ter was turned loose, and fourisheth even unto
this day.
The alligator is not fastidious in his tastes.
He will eat anything, from the tender and deli
cate poodle of the dudess to the gable end Of .
beef and his appetite is asimplacable as the leap
year career of an old maid. He is particularly
fond of the negro baby, and will
receive one of them into his yearning
bosom at any time with an eager solicitade
which denotes his great affection for children.
One healthy alligator near q southern planta-
ton, has been known to keep whole colony of
enterprising cololed families down to mere
quorum, and one of them can cast more gloom
over colored neighborhood in one working day
of ten hours than yellow fever epidemic can
in month. His absorbing powers at times
attain the wonderful. ,.--'7 -,
As songster he ID not marked success. He
can sing when he feels happy and contented and
has his stomach filled to repletion with anony-
nous baby, but his song is not soothing. His
great power and compass, but does not smite
the critical ear with that soft and dreamy roll
which is noticed while sitting in front of a pro-
fessional operatic basso profundo when he is in
state of eruption. 1t jars harshy upon the
nerves and causes the listener to suddenly re-
member that if he remains longer he will be too
late for supper-that is, his own supper. He
might be Just in time for the alligator's evening
meal if he strayed too far in the direction of
the music.
We have planned brilliant future for our
pet. He has been duly cristened Bismarck -
and he seems to be delighted with the capital
city. When he gets little older that yawning
chasm of his will be a we'll patronized resort for
the aspiring poets whom we have heretofore
been in the habit of running through the press
and selling to farmers for fertilizing material.
In the future they will fertilizs our cherished
pet-that is, if his stomach is as brave and in
trepid as we believe it to be. And when he
attains his majority, if he should some day feel
a craving at the stomach and gulp us down at
one spasmodic gulp, we shall die happy in the
consciousness that he did it through his great
love for US.
'sBismarck" is on exhibition in the TRIBUNE
sanctum, and will be pleased to receive any
ladies' or gentlemen who may make him social
call. Please leave your babies at home. We
do not wish to encourage in him an appetite for
dainties.