Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-01-11

The young man was financially embar-
raised, when her father asked him If he had
salary enough to support wife comfort
ably.
In France, journalists are spoken of as
members of the fourth esta c. In this coun-
try they are merely alluded to as dead beats.
The two Missouri men who snapped wives
without boot, were evidently in favor Of free
trade.
When a man falls down in the slush, and
friend comes along and rubs him off, could
you speak of the latter as scraping an &C.
quaintance.
Talmage's church has Ala more members
than Bcechcrs. Ii Henry could only learn
to prancc around and cut up capcrs the way
dc Witt does he might crawl up on these
figures somewhat.
Biobson keeps family horse, and the
other afternoon Mrs. b. was driving il
around town, when she ran across a lady
friend, out shopping. Wont you get in
and ride ?" asked Mrs. Blobson. 30 no,
thank you," replied her frend--"not to.
day. am in somewhat of hurry"
"The clanshells of our northern cline are
cclipsed by tropical specimens" says an ex
change. We don't believe the writer ever
met some such characters as VIC have RICH,
around here.
a Texas woman uses a stove lid to spanl,
her children with. She believes in striking
while the iron is hot.
Oscar Wilde is to be married in the Spring.
He is said to have first met his aiIlanccd at
one of his lectures in Liverpool, where he
had good chance to get acquainted will
her, as she was about the only one there.
A Montana miner, who received $4,000 a,
his share of a mine SALE spent the entire sun
in six days. 1t is probable that he married
a plumbers widow.
Riches take to themselves wings whcr
they are in the form of eagles. Boston Tran
script
Emerson said: "The best part of health
is fine disposition. He doubtless had refer
ence exclusively to the human race A
healthy bulldog, for example, lacks fine
dispositi)n most of anything. -L0ueN CTtt
zen.
Mrs. Juncbug invited several of hcr
friends to come to her house on certain
day, as she was going to celebrate her TWEEN
tY-6fth birthday. At the dinner-table Mrs
j. said, This day is also the anniversary q
sorrow to me-my fathers death" "In
deed And how long has your father beer
dead? ~ asked one OF the guests. Twenty
eight years, replied Mrs. Junebug. Terra
S1ting,.
Irish gent paying debt of honor
There's the sovereign We kindly lint me
Brown, I'm sorry haven't been able
Saxon (pocketlng the coin): "Neve
thought of it from that day to--By Jove
Forgot all about it'--.I Irish gent "Be
dad | wish ye'd tould me that before -
London Punch.
Barnum's will covered seven bundre,
pages. The veteran Snowman was bounC
to make it the most colossal aggregation Oh
earth, or die in the attempt. Boston Tran
script.
The editor of a college paper calls o con
temporary ''gander- shauked, knocked
kneed hybrid hycna of perdition." And We
some editors assert that journalism can no
be learned in colleges. Philadelphia CdH
NO" said the generous man, II haven
got that horse now. found it cost more t.
keep him than he was worth, so | gave hin
to my brother as Christmas present. -
LoaceN Citizen.
Bernhardt says she cowhided Mile. Colon
bier, while Colombier says she did not. A
the boy said to his grandmother, "There is
liar in the room, and it isn't I."-Neu Ha
cen Register.
The boy who yesterday fastened the rop,
OF his sled to spoke in the hind wheel of
milk wagon was little shaver who haC
never travelled, but since he came down an,
was picked out of the slush by kind-heart
ed man he has been heard inquirng for va
rious works on the subject of gravitation ant
natural philosophy. -Detr0b Free Press.
A Philadelphia man who has been writin,
frontier romances for the past ten years ha
been advised to go to Ohio for his health
and was yesterday seen in railroad Office
looking over maps and inquiring about how
to get there. PHILADELPHIA call,
Clerk" Anything else Here's Guild,
to Holiness Perhaps you wonld like
copy?' Observation-Disclosures this year p
Clerk-"Last year, l believe" Customer
'No, guess | won't take it. There have
been so many changes, you know. There II b.
another edition, probably. I'll wait for it,"
boston Transcript.
A lady subscriber called day or two ago
and after renewing her subscription, remark
ed pleasantly "We couldn't possibly keer
house without the Indes.-it is 50 nice and
large to put on the pantry shelves. vt is by sucl
kind words as these that we are soothed auc
sustained during the many sad and desolate
hours of our conslammed, internal adversely
1t is indeed touching and beautiful thought
and almost makes us we wish we were dead
b'gosh. st Johnsbury Indtr.
"Do you sell stamps?' "Yes'm." "TwC
cent stamps?" "Yes'm." 1.-TWO cents car
ries letter, believer" Yes'm" "Won'l
two ones answer in place of two p
"Yes'm.' ''Can yon change dollar 2
"Ycs'm." (Feels in her purse and bring
out Canadian twenty-cent piecc.) "Ill
take two-ceut stamp" Cant take Cana
the rule" "Ah!" Us crowded aside by al
impatient man, and makes another search.
Detroit Free Press.
Every married man ought to get his life in
sured. In case of death, fighting the insur.
ance company for the money would occupy
his widows mind and keep her from brood
Gle. Herald.
A wounded soldier, who lives in Buring-
ton Ia, has declined to draw any more pen
sion money, he having recovered from his
wounds. Ii this good man is not more eau
tious, somebody will start the rumor that he
is a crank. -LOuisriNe COurier-J0urnal.
1t makes the average bachelor mad to re
ceive from young lady beautiful pair OF
cardinal slippers, with gold daisies worked
all over them, and find that they are moi
made up, but that he must have soles put on
them himself. And it would mako the young
lady pretty near crazy if she could see that
bachelor using those uppers, which she made
him at considerable cost and a great sacrifice
of lime, for lifting hot things with and for
wipng pens on.-Puek
A Michigan girl told her young man that
she would never marry him until he was
worth 100000. So he started off with a
brave heart to make it. GLOW are you get