St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1884-08-30
THE BOY WHO TRIED TO NAME
HIMSELF

hlMSELEs
Mr.. Jeremiah Smith sat looking at
his wife with an air of com;cal uncer-
tainty, and his wife returned the look
with an air of fixed determination.
MY dear, we must let him name
himself said Mrs Smith.
"But, consider, my love, what try
ing position fer a boy! Besides he will
make some horrible mistake.
ut can't be any worse than some we
have made, jeremiah; just look at our
children. Is any one of 'em satisfied
with his or her name?"
"No. But for that matter, | have
never forgiven my great-uncle for nam
| ing me Jeremiah. | have had dislike
for that prophet ever since
'sYes, that's just the point. When
we named our eldest girl Matilda Marie
we never considered how we were hurt
| ing her feelings for life. She told me
only the other day that she hated her
name and would rather be called So
phronia Ann any time. AHd as for
Jonathan Edwards, and Wilhelmina
and Ulysses Bolivar, why, to hear them
talk, you would think they had drawn
their names by lot out of dictionary"
s'Well, did have little doubt my
self at the time about Ulysses Bolivar.
But you know we tried to make up for
the want of grandeur in the last name
by putting it into the first
Eyes, and it doesn't work. No, Jere-
miah, we must let this one have fair
chance. Let him name himself, say
when he is eight years old. and then we
shall have one child that is satisfied"
every web, my DEAR and Mir.
Smith, with sigh, partly in anticipa-
ton of coming evil, buried himself in
the evening paper.
The subject of these remarks was
myself. l was unconscious of their
meaning at the time, owing to the fact
that was but two months old. So, in
blissful ignorance of my lack of a first
name, lived peacefully the space of
four years. At the end of that time I
discovered the absence through the fol-
lowing circumstances: l was at play
with another boy of my own age and
he addressed me rather disrespectfully
as stBub." l resented it. '.My name
isn't 'Bub'r'
What is it, thenP"
j This was a poser. / did not know
/ ran into the house, and exclaimed:
Mother, is my name .Bub?'"
Her answer astonished me.
81 don't know, my son.
''But want name. shall get lost
without oae!'' / cried, in alarm.
My mother replied, calmly: 'Your
father and have decided to let you
name yourself. So, when you are
eight years old you may choose your
own name. That will give you four
years in which to make up your mind. F."
''But what will my name be until
them" asked.
My mother hesitated. 'sWell, we will
call you simply Smith. >"
! ''But don't like thai, y cried.
al is your fathers name, and YOU
can put up with it four years. At the
end of that time, remember, you are to
name yourself. y
Name myself! was contemplative
youth; | revoived in my mind all the
possibilities included in this unheard-of
privilege. The more [ thought of it the
more liked it. { would have name
such as no other boy ever had before. It
would be name destined to hand down
the family of Smith to posterity. No
insignificant, one-syllabled affair, which
could be turned or abbreviated into
nickname, but a sesquipedalian appella-
ton which would strike awe into the
rest of the family.
will pass over the four years dur
ing which was namcless individual,
distinguished from the rest of mankind
only as q boy called ''Smith," until
was eight years old. On the evening of
That eventful day, at the supper table, i
announced my selection of a name as
alexander Won Bismarck Smith.
My father groaned; my mother turned
pale.
Just what told your exclaimed my |
father, with q reproachful look.
well, ;, replied my mother, reco7-
ering herself after the first shock, lis
it any worse thsa Ulysses Bolivar?''
Mr. Smith said nothing, but tried to
look resigned.
But at the end Of q week I was tired
Of Alexander Won Bismarck. 1t was
nat too long, But somehow it didn't
please me, Besides, q red-headed youth I
il the next yard persisted in calling me
BIZ, +" in spite Of two severe lickings
administered to him behind the barn.