The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1884-03-15
A Few FrIgId FActa,


II there Ia ono thing more than an
other that the country needs that u hb-
solutely yearns for-it Is u law Rbolsb-
Ing tho temperature crank aud his ton
cent Thermometers Both are nuIsanceS
In the fullest moaning Of tho term, and
u long-suIlerng people arc, Just al this
Time losing lhoir temper and their con
lidence In the. wisdom Of m all-wi.0
Providence under this double inAlollon
The man with the ten.cent thormomo-
tor Is far superior, In point Of boro-you-
to-deathatiyoness, 10 the fellow who asks
II this is cold enough for you The Inter
Is merely seeking Information and yOu
are at liberty 20 either answer him or
turn the remains over 10 the coroncfi
but the thermometer lend ism n seeks
or after knowledgej he Is loaded TO the
muzale already, and only seeks victim
with whom he can divide, II Is useless
10 tell him that his ten-conl, mercury
loaded, bottle-glass and Tin back weather
preyarlontOr Is u snare and u delusl1ni
that II doesn't know anything about
temperature, He hns the utmost faith
In tho accuracy of his instrument and
will accept lls statements In the face OF
contradiction by all the lIlgh-prlced and
heightened thermometers In the coun-
try II he finds that she shows thirty
seven degrees below zorro, ho orders an
other ton Of coal and puts on four moro
suits Of undcrclothos though the boys
be PLAYING mlrUies In the alleys, thQ
streets knce-decp In mud and thd
man In the next yard Is spndlng mp
ground for hs next springs gardon.
There Is no denying the fact thai
the ten-cent thermometer h great Nl
getting down 10 lts work, II eau
make mans hair stand on end and
send the shlyGig scootIng down his
spInal column without half trying 70
that Is, II YOU are foolish enough 10
place any confidence In tho showing Il
mikes II can 60 down 10 lorty-wu
below zero On tho p0nsnntcst Of Wyo'
ming afternoons, and stay there, "wlth'
out turning u hair, ~ the horse ro'
porter saws. II can show u tampcrn-
turc calculated 10 freeze the nasal or
gan Oh the face OF the bronze d0gOn tho
front stoop OF the Mayors residence,
aud stare you In the face with q George
Washington stare, while you wipo tho
pcrspIratlon from your lacu and long
for linen dustor and u fan,
When tho tcn-cont thermometer
owner Is obliged by feminine pcrsua'
sion TO get up and light the fire, no
looks nt his Tin weather indicator and
finds II registering sovcnty.liye below
zero aud still going down. llo goes
down town and makes affidavit bclor0
every man he meets that II Is seventy
i've below, because his Thermometers
said so, lI0 cnlnrgos upon the supe'
rIor excellence Of his thermometer,
which can, when the weather permits,
register ull the way down 10 one hun,
drod below zero, while the ordinary in-
! strumonlg freeze up somewhere about
| tho forty notch. The average cheap
thermometer Il about "a reliable a. q
gas-molcr, or u politicians promise,
aud Ms workings ns uncertain as the
verdict OF Il iu-y, Hence wo say that II
some genius viii suggest some plan by
which the evil instrument and nll be.
lIoyors In u can bo swept from tho face
Of the earth Into tho wast0.bogket OF d
chaotic eternity, grateful people will
riso up and ask him to take something
- WC BOOmerdHg