Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1884-08-01
titloned off by a heavy curtain.

alone," put in Deacon Simpson.
''Jes' SO, added Deacon Grub.
Another mistake said the stranger
II did not arrive alone. Ny friend, tn
candidate is Of retiring disposition, AM
desire me to see you first and give hin
time to prepare for the interview
Where is he ?" in chorus cried Dea
cons Simpson. Simpson and Grub. look
ing with common impulse toward tn
curtain. The stranger followed thei
glance.
- You are quite right" he calmly an
swered. "My friend is there Excns
me, gen tIemen." He dashed behind thu
curtain. A low, clicking noise was heart
for moment, and then the drapery wa
suddenly draw aside.
An exclamation of surprise broke from
the three deacons. They saw an impro-
vised reading-desk at the end Of the apart
ment, behind which, in a thoughtful atti-
tude, sat disbinguished-lookin man.
Gentlemen briskly cried Mr.. Rog
ers, unconsciously assuming the air, Of 6
travelling Snowman, 81 have the distin-
guished pleasure Of introducing to youstht
Rev. Mummeigh."
kThe deacons. arose with much gravity
and bowed very stiffiy.
"We welcome you. sir, to Byesville, ,
said Deacon Simpson with dignifed air
Sand extend, Sir, the right hand of fell
lowsh1p." added Deacon Simpson. -
Fright hand of fellowship" echoed
Deacon Grubb.
To this cordial greeting the rdistin-
guished looking figure at the table vouch.
safed no response; his attitude of profound
meditation remained unchanged. Some.
what taken aback by this frigid reception
the worthy deacons, after moment s hes
itation. turned an inquiring look upon
Mr.. John Rogers.
''Ah," said that gentleman in a reas.
surfing tone. ''I see must explain. Let
me do SO as briefly as possible, Our cleri.
cal friend here is not, as you suppose. a
being of flesh and blood, but creature of
my own invention" This astounding
revelation had startling effect upon the
deacons. They simultaneously arose
with the evident intention of inspecting
the figure at close quarters. but Mr.. Reg-
ers checked them.
Zone moment, gentleman he said:
latter I have finished my explanation
shall be most happy to exhibit the figure
and its workings to you. You may not
be aware of it, but I am an inventor of
considerable repute, although this is my
first effort in this direction. The idea.
however, of such mechanical figure has
long possessed me. My father was Meth
odist minister, and in my boyhood we
were obliged to change our residence so
often that 1 grew to look upon him as a
sort of peripatetic machine.
''And this gave me the notion OF an au-
tomaton which would fulfil most of the
requirements of the average clergyman.
The idea grew upon me, and I gradually
enlarged its scope until you see before you
now the perfected fruit of my imagining. -
He paused with dramatic gesture to ward
the figure. The three deacons were list
ening with breathless attention. "Hav-
ing thus" he confined, ''briehy touched
upon the conception of the clericomotor,
1 will now proceed to explain its merits
and Its workings. In the first place you
are aware that the popular church of to-
day is the successful one. And the sue
cessful church can only be erected on a
sound financial basis. Look around you, -
be suddenly cried, with grandiose sweep
of his arm, sat the successful churches,
where the pews command gilt-edged pre-
miums and the tinkling of the silver as it
falls into the contribution box browns the
loudest notes of the pealing organic
Carried away by his eloquence Deacons
Simpson, Simpson and Grub stared
wildly about the room as if the edfice al
luded to were actually within sight.
"What constitutes the prime attrac-
tionp" he continued. els it the sound
ness of theology or the breadth of their
Christianity? No, gentlemen; no! 1t is
the popular clergyman with his glittering
p;atitudes and his resounding rhetoric
But the demand for these paying cards is
so great that the market price has been
raised far beyond the reach of ordinary
congregations, until it lies within the
power Of only the wealthiest churches to
secure them. It is here that the cler leo
motor comes into play. By means of it 1
place within the reach of the hurnblest
congregation an attraction of the strong
est FORM"
He checked his .voluble address and
wiped the perspiration from his face. The
deacons took advantage of this momenta-
ry gap to gather their scattered senses.
But how" queried Deacon Simpson.
lido you supply the brains?"
''And the voice?" added Deacon Stimp.
son. AN the gesturin'?" concluded
Deacon Grub.
''Nothing easier" said the inventor.
You are, of course, familiar with the
principles of the phonograph. will
frankly state that I have adapted this
idea-in an improved form, of cOurse-in
constructing the clericomotor. !" He ap-
preached the automaton. "Now, gentle
men," he continued, "if you will give me
your closest attention will show you how
the figure is operated"
The deacons crowded around him in
open. mouthed expectancy. He went on
glibly: "By the pressing upon the right
hand button at the back Of the coat trap
door. you observe, flies open between the
shoulder blades. Into this receptacle l
slide this prepared electrotype plate. By
pressing upon the left hand button close
the trap-door. Now, if you will cast your
eyes at the calf of the left leg you will see
a small projecting rod. To this I attach
an ordinary crank-thus." Suiting the
action to the word he placed the handle
in position and turned it vigorously. The