The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-05-02
HUMOROUS.
A private affair the drill.


Of good report-Krupp's guns.
A pledge of affection-Pawning the
iedding ring.
The early bird sometimes catches
ody full of shot.
A workman is known by his chips
nd barber by his shavings.
Waiting for rise-The young lady
Vho hangs on strap in horse car.
Self-made men are not "born to CON-
land," because they are not made to
rider.
A New York plumber has married
.milliner. Everything tends to con
olidation and monopoly these days.
A mother has miraculously cured
Ter youngest hopeful OF smoking oy
he laying on of hands.
Eyes, wife is a good poker player,
,ays farmer. And then he added;
She is also just as handy with the
1ongs.'
The stingiest man is said to be a
niserly old bachelor who talks through
his nose so as to save the wear and
ear of his voice on his false teeth.
When a bachelor says he is single
rom choice, it makes him mad to ask
Vim why the girl made choice of some
ther fellow.
There are some marriages which re-
mind us of the poor fellow who said
She couldn't get husband, and l
couldn't get wife, SO we got mar
led"
Mamma" said little boy, as he
eft his bed and crawled into hers, the
other night, ~ can so to sleep in your
oed, l know can; but I've slept my
oed all up"
"Put out the gas" called lady to
ler husband who was being talked to
leath by book agent. 1t hurt his
ceilings so much that he shut up his
,pecimen pages and retired.
A French Investigator finds that, in
] proportion to its size, the bee can pull
;hirty times as much weight as horse.
lie probably got his idea from the
great power with which bee can
push.
Professor Ito class in history
"Why does an Indian usually make up
lis mind more quickly than a white
nan?" Small boy (near the foot)-
Because he mostly has less mind to
make up.
The man who kicks his daughter's
over down three flights of stairs, sends
ler to bed with scolding, then slacks
the parlor fire and turns off the gas,
should be sent to prison for contempt
If court.
Don't you think have good faco
for the stage?" asked lady with his
'rionic aspirations. Il don't know
lbout the stage" replied her gallant
companion. "but you have lovely
CAGE for buss."
Yes" remarked Contractor Skimp.
pointing to his new building, contain
ny rooms for the use of music teach
ars, 1--WE rented all them rooms ex-
septln' the one at the end. That's
'ast, but not leased"
A little child becoming wearied with
he quarrelling of two younger children
'ver a glass of milk, exclaimed :
Whats the use of fighting forever
over that milk? There's whole cow
full out in the barn."
The curiosity of child of FIVE had
been aroused by seeing magnifying
glass. "How many times dceS it mag
1ify?" asked a gentleman. thinking to
puzzle him. "As many times. as you
ook through it," was the quiokireply.
Yes, Alonzo, you are indeed correct,
"a living dog is better than a dead
jon" Especially for rats. But if you
should happen to want a lion skin for
rug, why of course a live dog
wouldn't help you out cents worth.
A fashion item says: "Jackets of
5elvet with vest of satin are nice and
stylish for breakfast" If it's the style,
10 doubt this novel dish will find favor,
and yet there are hard-headed old
'ellows who will still cling to tripe--
'tyle or no style.
THE proboscis of the 5ee," says a
'cientific writer, "has to be thrust two
and half million times into the flow
'rs of clover-heads to make pound OF
loney." Strange what a difference
here is in the business capacity Of the
'wo opposite ends of bee
"Do you suppose eating angel cake
will make an angel of me?" asked a
seraphic young lady of the worldly
yonng man. "Pve no doubt it will,'
he answered, ''if you only eat enough
If it" Then she giggled and said
'why;'