The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-09-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

1ne inner mana convict In jail.
A country seat-The milking stool.
The moon is a sort of matrimonial
overseer. She is mistress of the tied. -
Scissors.
1t is said that quiet eyes denote self
command. Come to think of it, so does
a quiet mouth.
Strawberries used to grow on trees.
That is probably the reason they come so
high in winter Graphic.
A man sometimes loses his voice from
excessive smoking, but locomotives are
never troubled in that way.-Boston But
letin.
A new song is called: "Wilt thou, oh,
Wilt thou2" 1t is supposed to be dedi-
Gated to a collar and pair of cuffs,-Bos.
ton Post
"I preserve my strength by husband
ing it," said a wife, as she ordered her
other half to bring in bucket of coal
Merchant TrareIer.
''Do cats reason9' asks Rhode Island
preacher. If he had ever slept in
house where cats could get under the
floor he would have heard them reason
ing. -C0urlef-00uf7ldC.
An old lady, having several marriage.
able daughters, fed them exclusively on
fish diet, because it is rich in phosphor-
Gus, and PHOSPHORUS is the essential
thing in making matches.
A poet sings, How can meet my
darling2" Well, if you Know the old
gentleman has gone out you can &c
| bol1l,, IN 70 +ba front door rinp tha ha1I
and ask for her-BOStO11 Post.
A learned anatomist has declared that,
owing to the peculiar construction Of
the female form, a woman cannot jump.
Perhaps he never saw an old maid jump
at an offer.-Sdturday Night.
Bland GLOW did your son pass his
college examinations l suppose he
passed without conditions" Blunt.
''Yes; that is to say, they said they
would take him under no conditions. -
Boston Transcript.
Young men, it isn't always the girl who
looks loveliest in the soft, sweet shadows
of the darkening twilight, who takes
that beauty with her in the grim, gray
morning as she wrestles with kitchen
stove. Merchant TFdUeJer.
When a young man lays siege to
young lady and insists upon her con
sentng to becoming his wife, she cannot
but confess that he is ga man after
her own heart" however heartless she
may appear. - Chaca10 Sun.
A writer on health advises people to
Give in the sun" Owing to the present
inadequate facilities for transportation
and the high price of real estate on that
luminary, we should not advise any OF
our readers to emigrate there this season.
-BurliRgtOa Free Press.
How doth the busy orator
Improve each shining hour,
And win applause with all his strength
OF seventeen-lung power.
He wanders on from point to point,
His mouth he stretches wide,
While from his throat the gilt-edged words
Seraphically glide.
- Washington Hatchet
Visitor Gust arrived from town.
''Now, my good man, tell us the truth.
Have you got an epidemic among the
mackeral on this coastl" Ancient mar.
iner--'Lor', sir, couldn't tell owt but
the trueth eff | tried hever so hard.
Seen any heppidemies among our mack,
erel? Why, l got one in our net last
week as weighed nigh on twelve
pounds. just you an your good lady
let me take yer for sail, I'll show you
heaps of heppidemics. London FWR.
A pretty Boston school ma'am and youth Of
mein sedate
Were parting in the evening beside the gar
den gate;
His hand and heart he'd offered, in a grave
and sober way,
And She with quiet dignity, had named the
happy day;
He fingered at the gate with her, and said, in
accents low:
''There is little favor would ask before
GO
/ A favor never asked before; sweet maiden, il
is this:
| A lovers privilege, that is ala sweet be
trothapkissn ~
| "If you watt the maiden whispered, with
her color rising high,
! "Iill remove my spectacles, III willingly
complyn-SOmeTUiH JOUlpdL