The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-11-06
HUMOROUS.
Going to the dogs-bones.

Uolng TO tne uOSS-DOneS.
1t is a wet day when an umbrella
gets left.
A business that is run into the
ground-artesian well digging.
For the life of us we can't under
stand why trees should have trunks.
They never travel anywhere.
A baby wakens ia the morning
with smile. When it gets to be
man it goes to bed with a "slnile."
Bismarck's powers are weakening.
1t is said he cannot get outside Of as
many bologna sausages as he used to.
1t may he we'll to state, for the in
formation of amateur artists, that
plaster casts of royal personages are
not made of court plaster
"See here, Id like to know when you
are going to pay Inc that bill you owe
me. I've run as long as l propose to-
"Well, let the bill run little while
now
1t may be true that "two is COM
pany and three's crowd,' but you
would have considerable trouble con-
vincing theatrical manager Of the
fact.
A poet in Germany has been fined
SIS and sent to prison four months.
They treat such offences much more
severely in Germany than they do
here
"Oh, yes, Jones is getting on first
rate. He's just coming money in his
new business" "Ah, I'm glad to hear
it, What business is he in?" "Coun-
terfeiting."
Kate Blake, the latest debutante
among English professional beauties, is
said to have perfect complexion.
The name of the maker is not yet an
nounced.
Don't say you will thrash man
until you have done it. There is al
ways an element of uncertainty in
such statements which is bound to be
respected.
1t is hopeless for a short man to
ever expect to be a tall man, but tall
man can easily become short man.
| This fact is SO obvious that it is
scarcely worth mentioning.
A girl is sweet,
But oh! how bitter
| The same girl is
| When her clothes don't Et her.
An editor, at dinner table, being
asked if he wouldn't take some pud-
ding, replied, in fit of abstract on:
.'Owing to crowd of other matter we
are unable to find room for it."
At a railway festival in the
West the following striking toast was
given: sour mothers-The only faith
full tenders who ever misplaced
switch"
There was a young man from
Havana, who trod on I; piece Of
banana; His heels flew up, the rest
slid down, And he was injured in
most frightful mamma.
Ethel writes to ask if we think high
heels injurious. We think they are.
Ethel, very injurious and extremely
dangerous, and when they are on bay
mule with zebra legs they may be
rated as extra hazardous.
A European capitalist has offered
100000 for tie copyright of Wag-
ner's operas. He wants to make sure
that his daughters will never play
them on the piano.
Oscar Wilde is lecturing in Eng
land on Dress. But just let Oscar
wait until his fair young bride begins
to lecture him on the subject of new
bonnets and lace, and white silk dres-
ses and sealskin sacques.
Miss WeStover, female suffrage
agitator, whois described as being lone
of the prettiest women in England
has delivered 200 addresses in the
last six months. Miss Westoyer ap-
pears to be thing of beauty and a jaw
forever.
Everybody must grow old, you
know, my dear madame" said a
physician to lady. who evidently
looked upon the remark as personal
one, for she promptly replied, "Not
everybody, doctor; a great many Of
your patients will never grow old"
"Do You like bangs?" inquired Mrs
Snip of Mr. Temple. NO, maliam, L
do not" "0a, indeed; you surprise