Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-07-09
He Would BE a Journalist.
"Can / come IMP"

expression, stood IN the doorway OF the
editorial rooms and propOunded the
above interrogatory in very loud and
declamatory tone of voice.
~ suppose YOU can, said the horse
reporter, "unless YOU arc afflicted with
some constitutional malady which pre-.
vents your putting one foot in front OF
the other, or have got pair OF hobbies
on. There have some daisy fellows
come up here lately, but you are the
first one that wanted 10 know whether
he could go through an open door
II didG mean exactly that con-
tinucd the young man. "Whatl wanted
TO know was if could come into tho
room for few minutes
Certainly you can; only don't say
anything to the effect that we ought to
have pleasant summer after such q
rainy spring, or you may find yourself
pallid corpse in the donjon keep be-
meath the moated turrets Of the castle.
If you arc looking for the Hawkinsville
Clarion or the GyUady County Pdltd-
djun1, you viii find them in that pile Of
papers over in that corner. III YOU arc
aweary, and faiu would WOO the drowsy
god, ask the man in the next room for
the Boston AdCCriscT. A Boston paper
Will make insomnia ilee away rs the
black wraiths of despair and dcsolatiOn
vanish before the golden rays of hope
Don't mistake yon haggard pastc-pot
for q cup-custard, because in its con-
tents there IS generous admiXturo OF
deceased oocbroachc3 that but q few
short days agOno were members Of
happy family circles-now, alas, sum
dered by the cruel hand of darksomo
and unrclcntipg fate.
Il didn't want TO read any eX-
changes" said the young man. Tho
object Of my visit was to SEQ the princi.
pal editor-thc one who makes engage.
ments with journalists.
"The what?'
"The editor who makes engagements
with journalists.
80, you mean the man that hires tho
hands Hes in the other room DO
you want job?"
We'll" said tho young man, in a
rather naughty manner, 81 have some
thoughts Of entering the journalistic
profession"
"You mean thdt y6t want to hire ont
as q dccllhand on newspaper don I
you?'
Perhaps that is your way of cX-
pressing it, sir, '' said the young man,
"but our Professor Of Rhetoric always
told It's that
30, you're q college graduate arc
you?' said the horse reporter. Il
thought you had kind Of I-shall-now-
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS air
about you. l suppose YOU graduated
last wccl?'
Yes, sir, was the reply, land
may say that my Oration--'
Il know all aboutit, Interrupted the
horse reporter. you spoke a piece
about Life's Mission or Our Coun-
try's Future, or something like that,
and when you had finished it the young
lady in the pcrcale dress whom You
Rave been taking TO thc weekly meet
lngs of the Platonian Literary Society
tor the last two years sent u big bouquet
rp TO the platform for you with little
piece of rose-tintod notc-papcr in the
ccnter'of it, with From One Who Ad-
mircs Genius written on ii. And then
II lot Of Tcu,unic musicians blew thcm-
selves black in the face playing the Star
Spanglcd Banner. And in the evening
you went to thc Presidents reception
with the female almircr Of Genius, and
on the way home. YOU told her that now
you We're about 90 enter upon new
sphere of action. 30 90 forth aud do
battle with the world and carve for
yourself n niche high in tho Temple of
Fame, you felt that YOU must tell her
4
up in pure, holy love for hcr-a love
that would never faltcr or fade as long
rs life remained. And then sho laid
her head truslfully Oh your manly
breast, and said chat she would not try
TO conceal from you The fact, ever pres.
ent in her heart, that YOU were the one
man in all the wide, wide world upon
whom she could freely bestow that most
precious of all gifts-thc tender, true
and all-absorbng love of u pure woman.
But in about five years things will look
different. There are now more young
men who started out TO carve q mich
high In the Tcmplc of Fame chasing
large red steers over The arid plains of
Texas or delivering mockercl to the
first families than you can shake II
stick at
But surely, sir, you do not mean to
insinuate that college education is in
any way Il hindrance TO the accomplish
ment of those ends which it should ever
be The aim of all who have the welfare
of their country at heart to bring
aboutgn
That's Just the trouble said the
horse reporter Your college gradu-
ates always start out with the idea that
it is your mission TO manipulate the en-
tire universe, when as q matter OF fact
the most Of you wouldn't do TO leave in
charge of. one small backyard. Be-
cause young man knows all about the
square of the hypothenusc, and can
reel off chunks of Roman history, il
docs not necessarily follow that there
is wild competition among business
mon for his valuable services. if tho
employers Of America never 90 lame
until their legs give oui from running
after college graduates there viii be the
soundcst lot of undcrpinning on record
in this country. Erudition is fine
thing, but you can't get much board on
ii in this town.
.,But, sir" said the graduate, "thc
annals OF every country in which the
highest civilization has obtained show
that il is the men Of letters who shape
the dcstinies -"
"Thcro you so again, " said the horse
reporter, talking about shaping dcs-
tines and all such cruel rs that. Don't
you worry about destiny. The chances
arc that even if you were to fall over
what you don't know and break your
neck tomorrow somebody would look
after the distinguishing business all
right Your best hold for the next year
OF two will be checking of barrels OF
AL sugar for some wholesale grocery
house over ON River Street Destiny
won { get left any in the meantime
"Then YOU do not think will be able
to make my mark in the journalistic
profession
"You might" replied the horse re-
porter. III YOU were to go upstairs and
fall over some type, but not otherwise
at present.
''But 7 might do some preliminary