Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-06-28
Saturday Smiles.

| "A Is one OF lNOSe events tflaC are al
ways coming off-Mil'caukee Sentinel.
The independents ought to buy custard pie
and lemon and go on picnic.-C Cincinnati En-
| Quirer.
| This is the season when the children ask to
| hull the Strawberries and stem the cherries,
and when done. the mother wonders if the man
gave the right measures Springfield Globe.
genuine vampire was recently killed at Los
Angeles. CAL They have all sorts of nicknames
| for book agents out On the Pacific cOast.-Bur-
| hngton Free Press.
Eleven clergymen sailed from New York for
Europe on one steamer recently. When that
steamer reaches the other side the passengers
will have something new to write home to their
friends touching the horrors OF thevoyage across
| the atlantic.-BoSton Transcript.
| Miss Mary Anderson starts for Italy next week
| ito gather fresh inspiration" While there. we
/ hope DR.. Ham. Griffin will discover how they
put the holes in the macarOni, and let US know.
| Patsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
doctor. want to thank you for your great
| the doctor. very much pleased. ut helped me
wonderfully" "How many bottles did you find
1t necessary to take?" ION, l didn't take anv
of it. My uncle took one bottle, and am his
sole heir. "-Neao York Sun.
For the first time in twelve months, boys are
beginning to have clean faces They don't
wash them. They unavoidably come in contact
with clean water while they are in swimming
Louisville Courier Journal.
discharged soldier says the reason why men
! desert from the United States army is because
private soldier is treated like dog. Well.
| that's no reason for desertion. If he Is treated
like $500 Gordon setter he is treated great
deal better than thousands Of editors and
hundreds of good women, excellent mothers
and loving wNes.-Burlington (lo,od) Hatokeye.
Fond Parent-"Well. Johnny how are you
getting along at SCHOOL," Johnny-"Oh, first
rate started on third. but I'm on first now. "
Fond Parent-"Glad to hear it: my son.
| your industry" johnny" that nice! I'll
| try to get higher yet" Fond Parent-'Higher?
How can you be higher than first?" johnny
| easy enough. can get to be short stop or
| pitcher. Philadelphia Call
All the poets In the land should support the
republican ticket. Think of the words they can
find to rhyme with Blaine. If Arthur had been
| the nominee they would have been obliged to
i resort to the Walt Whitmanish dodge Of rhyn-
/ ing arthur" with "infexibiity." And Ed
muncs or Lincoln would also have puzzled the
| rhymsters The republican poet who doesn't
sound slogan for Blaine and Logan should be
kicked with q brogan.--Norristo,cn Herald.
THAT is beautiful young woman across the
way" said Jones to his wife. "
"She is. indeed" the ladyassented, "a remark
! ably pretty woman" 80
81 wonder If the gentleman whom she Just
DOW met Is her husband2" ~
81 think he must be-" replied Mrs. Jones, 81
notice he didn't lift his hat to her."-N. Y.Sun.
Women may do very well as fiction writer's
within certain limits, but we have never yet
heard Of a woman bOok-keeper IN plumbers
onice.-Graphic ~ ''['~~
Logan has called upon Blaine, and by this time
no doubt has been compelled to subscribe to his
book.-NeD6urg Register.
A young lady attending party should have
female chaperOn until she Is able to call some
other. chap her o~n.-Teras SUtinqs
.s.Giye the new simmer boarder whatever be
wants." says an experienced country shark,
cumbers and milk. and green apples. and honey
and 20 without eating for week. while all the
time his board bill is going on."-Aeao Orleans
Plcayupe
'swhat are you going to do on the Fourth"
a iolly Roman Candle asked Bunch or Fire
Crackers. "Why." said the Bunch Of Fire
Crackers, 'IIn thinking of starting runaway
and breaking neck or two. What will you
do2" .'Me? Oh, I'm going into the clothing
business, as usual; mostly boys suits. yon know,
| replied the Jolly Roman Candle.-PiHs6urg
Chronicle Telegraph.
Ochiltrees last speech was not what might be
regarded as q success He said: "Mr. Speaker,
the generality of mankind In general are dis
posed to exercise expressions on the generality
| Of mankind In general" when he WAS pulled
down to his seat by friend. with the remark.
| "Tom, you'd better. stop; you're coming out OF
the same hole You went IN at'"-eosa"'0a' to"'0'