The semi-weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1882-1886, 1884-12-13
PITH AND POINT.
SETTING undrink.results In upsettint
1ripEors

SETTING updrink"results In upsetting
drinkers.
LIFE is short-onlv four letters in it.
Three-quarters of it is q "lie," and half
of it is an IF" Put this on lille" if you
would as 'lief."
"HULLo, Bob! The coach is full!
Cues we'll have to strap you on be-
hind" Bob-"No, you don't. l had
enough of that when / was a boy
London Punch.
DIR. Koch having stated that the best
%precaution against cholera is to avoid
the use Of wa er, the health officers OF
Kentucky have declared that 40 quar-
antine is necessary.
The young lady who made 700 words
out of Conservatory" last autumn has
run away from home. Her mother
wanted her to make three loaves of
bread out of flour"
JoNEs-"What a waspish summer this
is" Smith-"WaspishI What a queer
term for O summer season." 1T exactly
describes this summer, however,
why. how?" 1T is hottest at the end"
Philadelphia Call.
COLORADO has q woman who speaks
eight languages, but when her husband
comes in at 3 in the morning with his
legs hopelessly entangled she doesn't
deviate very far from the Colorado inter-
p~retation Of plain English.
"INEvER saw such a woman in all my
life," said Bass; you are salts
fed with anything" "People who
knew the mar I took for q husband"
repl ed Mrs. B. think, on the contrary,
that l am very easily satisfied"
QUEEN VICTORIA invariably has her
ice-cream analysed by a chemical ex-
pert. As yet nothing but pure chalk
ami water and corn-starch have been
discovered. The Queen lives in hopes
of striking a trace of cream sometime.
A WESTERN man has invented a piv-
oted ~church-seat which enables one to
easily turn and see what kind of bon
net, are worn by the female Worship
ers. 1t will hardly supersede the mir
o set in the binding of the hymn
book.
DO YOU know, Uncle John, why you
are like your horse? ?" asked Ella, who
ha been restored by her avuncu'ar rel
alive in regard to her young man.
Uncle John (who considers himself q
great fellow among the fair sex)-"Be-
cause I'm q little fast, I suppose. Ha!
h.! ha." Ella-"No, Uncle John; it is
because You interfere."-BOst0n Tram
script
fermmer roses die?
u.- willows weep?
WY w soe Yankee all ike pie?
lbapies creep?
fanny GavS all pasS2
W., h lovers sigh!
why 10 Tue horses ard C WIS eat grass?
(fshejs lie?
bearded lions roar?
Why do the brides sing?
tanc'ent- nlaideDs snore?
End vow thay do no such thin:f
II D"ggeu IN Litr.
IT is related of a jolly old sea Cap
tain who boirls at one-of the uptown
hotels, that, returning from "a day at
the Shore" the landlord quietly sug-
ge,ted that one of the boys pilot him
to his 'Pilot!" said the mariner,
as he crammed his hat on the back of
h.: head and supporting himself against
the counter regarded his host with a
fixed st re; "pllots be BANKED; wha' l
vans a Observation-Disclosures CONNER
c;al Bulletin.
A GREAT match was being played be-
tween two professors of billiards, and
the incidents of the contest excited the
liveliest interest of the spectators, M
of whom, the better to watch the exc
eution of an extremely difficult stroke,
imprudently leaned forward from his
seat a little too far, and received from
the butt of the players cue, so smart .
blow upon the nose as to make It bleed.
Never mind, sin" said professor,
.graciously. counted an be came"