Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-04-27
THE BARBER ON MODERN MAR
RYING.
He Narrates the Experience of a Friend
and n Mishap to HIS Assistant.
Vel1 York sun

NeW York Sun.
"A trent uf mine gifts marrit Suntay,"
said the German barber in the Bowery
last week. "He bopped der question in
der ladest sdyle. Der Olt-fashIoned-lu f-
in-a-cOddage- crackers -und kisses peeZ-
ness peen played ovid. Mine trent he
leans Oier his sweetheart und dakes her
lily-vhite hant, und, seeing a momend
pedWeen der raddle uf dwo elevated
drains, he says: My precious, my sweet
und luhy darling, 1 would like TO bro
nounee yourselluf my Wife,
"ChOnny, my own sveet luf," she hat
sayt, ''are you sure you can afford il?
would not deceete. you, tarling; you hat
calf me precious ind you will find me so.
Atiegshun cOsds nodings but sdylishness
und high-tOne cOsds a heab uf money.
Can you all dot aff0rt, my own dear lufY
He Won arm blaced her waist arount,
und vile he frank in der igwid egstaci uf
her admiring gaze, he replied: i dink
can der pail keeb rolling, righd sdraighed
along, my own, my sweet, sweet blessing"
''Its kind uf YOU, Chonny," she reblied,
mot to dalk apowd such foolishness as
luf on a basemend nit siXbence a week,
for der world is now run on peeZness brin-
cibles, und such dalk makes me dried. l
hat to git a divorce away from my first
husband because he Yos Old-vashiOned
like dot. L musd a tirsd- glass allowance
hat to pegin init, 50 We tOn'd fall ovid
apOWd money. Dots vot proke to bieces
up me und my second husband, alretty
Und now, my Iuf, l hat pesides dot only
Won dings to say: We musd hat blain
dalk vonst effry dree months. Den, my
sweet tarling, if | shall some oder man
ufmOre as you, ! viii vrankly dell you so
your face in front, und you must der same
dings done Ply me. Also, if | should got
dired uf you mitowid falling some oder
man in luf nit, / will sbeak blainly, und
you must by me sbeak choost der same.
For l can'd stand yighting und rows, my
tarling. My third husband used to arkue
und dalk NIT me, undil yOs cOmbelled a
divorce to git away from him on ackound
uf my bOOr neris."
"Vell," said the barber, 'my trent vos
NIT dot conversation cradely pleased,
ind, banding a tousand kisses her cheeks
und mout Owitsite, he dolt her ufdPr drub
bles he got init dwO brefiOus wives, alretty
so dem should not habben again nit her;
und hating brebared der way for divorce
in case dem should wish to hat it, he vent
away dickled nit his bargain.
"Chiminy Hockey vOt Tickens uf q
row der monkey paTber got into himself
NIT dot trent uf mine ven my trent vos
delling vot good ding such a brobosa
Of marritch vos and how fine divorces are
und all dot.
"Yah," der monkey parber hat sayt
''doHs vot call der insdallment plan Vi
marritch".
"Vot der tefll do you meant" sayt my
trent.
"Der monkey parber vent right away
on, der same he always done. Oats der
new fashion of marritch in siff1lized gun
dries he sayt, but it's otter as der hills
NIT der satfages. My JINGLE, vich vos a
sailor, always got, In der Santvich Islands,
wife in dot same way each dime he vent
to Honolu-
"Bangl Ply Hockey how dot monkey
parber did git licking! Ny trent wiped
him up NIT der floor"