Connecticut western news., 1884-12-31
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NIT AND WISDOM.


 clay, and it became ware.
 TIE future destiny of the ohild is sl- ways the work of the mother.
 THE only answer to all criticiHm, the best test of all work, is-rosult
 HE who can suppress a moments an- ger may prevent day of sorrow.
 ALL cunning men are as dull on one side as they are sharp on the other.
 A NATIVE Mexican never catches oold, but the reason of it is he is too lazy.
 PARrNos and heartachsa must come at some time or other, even in the happisat lives.
 TIE power to do great things gem er,lly arises from the willingness to do small things.
 A MAN too busy to fake care of his health is liko mechanic too busy to take care of his tools
 PEOPLE care great deal more for keeping up appearances than for keep- ing up realities.
 BoREs are people who arc always speaking of themselves when we want to speak of ourselves.
 WHEN alone we have our thoughts to watch, in our families our tempern, in society our tongues.
 WRITE injuries in dust, but kindness in marble. Envy is turnkey by birth. and an executioner by profession.
 GENTLEMAN (entering rail car)'fIs this seat engaged ?" seli-oonscious young lady-"Yes, sir, that's engaged, too"
 A BOY says, in his competition, thai ''onions are the vegetable that makes you sick when you don't eat them your self"
 A LADY correspondent writes to ua for receipt for mince pie. This we will most willingly furnish when we re- ceive the pie.
 IT is said that whom man is full hia pocket is usually empty. and whom he is tight his tongue is loose This ia para doxical but true. .
 "CHARoH Chester charge lr ssWns Chester plumber, that the poet should tell him to charge twice in one line 2" asked a subscriber.
 Do YOU know anything about the uo- lar system" ?" "woll, I should smile. That's queer question to aak a father who has five daughters to shoe r
 INourRnR asks: "Why Ia it thai 60 many dogs have fieas 2" To be perfect \ ly honest we think it is because there are so many feas. This, however, iu merely conjecture,
 A PATENT medicine advertisement speaks of ''the liver failing to aok" We suspect the manager out down his salary. When the liver refuses to act. the drama of life can't go on very suo- ceasfully.
 Ak Icaho editor. having received 500 pounds of posatooa ca sahaeFiptidhs asks his friends Co call around with anIt and pepper and board with him. Thus the generous heart of tho good man gein away with him.
 Far man (who ia something in . hurry)-"I1l give you S5 to get me to the station in three minutea." CabmAn with provoking slowness)-"WeIl, sorr. you might corrupt me. but you can't bribe that horse"
 Miss RosHwoop, who took part in an- ateur theatricAls: "oh, I'm 70 tired; had to stand all the evening" Mins Sharp, who was in the audience: My dear you did not have 10 stand nearly 70 much as VIC did"
 A PERSONAL item inform us that "vio- tor Hugo mostly goes to bed on a crack CT and a herring" funny notion, that If the cracker should get mashed and scatter itself, Victor would bo apt to pass a very restless night.
 A CINCINNATI newspaper paragrapher complains that his items are put be. tween patent medicine advertisements. If this is true it only goes to prove that people will read patent medicine adver- tisements no matter whore they are put
 HE editorial she was reading stated: "It is a privilege with men to do honor and homage to the gcntler ser that hoav- en has entrusted to their care" "wot a lie l" exclaimed Mrs. Jarphly. eTw bet that fellow makes his wife start the I fire"
 THERE is boy in Springfield, Maaa. who is dropping himself all ovor the State. He has left thumb at his grand mothers in Salem, two fingers with his uncles moving machine in Norburys half foot ct relatiye's near Lowell and three teeth in Boston.
 "oH, HUM I wish had married MT. Gladstone" sighed Mrs. Basoom. throw ing down her nswspapor. "What f ex- claimed her husband. starting out of mm incipient nap-s'rAthsr than me Y'' aYea." reiterated Mira. Bascom, "Mr. Gladstone chops all his own wood. - Huntingdon Free PrcsG Mas. BLrNKHR asked Matilda. the house servant, few nights ago; ''What dreadful scratching is that out in the kitchen It must be the dog trying 10 get in. I never heard anything like it in my life" "Dat's no dog scratching door; dats de cook writin' a lub letter to her honeysuckle who works ober in