The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1884-01-11
SELECT STORY.
TED's ACCOUNT OF NEW YEARS,


Gloss, "1've letter from Ted It's
quite heavy one, you see, for a chap
of ten but cant make out such a
mass of scrawl. Here, mamma, sup
pose you read it,
Before Mrs. Gloss could reach out
her hand Uncle Joe, Mr.. Gloss bach
elor brother, interfered with "Let me
have the boys letter; l always did
like that young scamp of yours
After smiling at the down-hill ten
dencv Of the superscripLion, Uncle Joe
soon became absorbed over the pages
that began in text hand, continued in
spider-tracks, and at last rose to the
dignity of hieroglyphics.
The Gloss family, tired out after the
holiday season, were having a domes-
tic evening in the dining room. The
library, hung in old spanish leather,
lacked the embellishments that grow
out OF daily use, and oppressed one
like a great bronze extingusher the
long drawing-room, the conventional
New York parlor, was too like man.
moth and splendid hearse to permit of
even its proprietors feeling at home in
it. So about the dining.table were
gathered Papa and Mamma Gloss, the
Misses Lou and Rosie Gloss, Mr.. Sor-
ghum, gentleman of many smiles and
compliments, OF many suits of fine
clothing, of dog-cart, and gorgeous
living generally, and Uncle Joe, un-
married, crusty and rich. There was
also a young fellow called Fred Ire
maine, but he was only chap in
papa's Office at small salary. Though
he had good six feet of uncommonly
good looks, still he was very modest.
"And no WONDER" as Lou whispered
to Rosie. "lIe ought to be. Twelve
hundred year indeed
Sorghum remarked, in his sweetest
tones: "lIow seldom a poor dog OF
n bachelor like me has the chance of
enjoying happy family gathering!'
A sigh, carefully given out for Rosie
only to hear, was a graceful hint of his
| dissatisfaction with bachelor exis-
tance.
Mamma Gloss, clasped her plump
hand in little ecstacy, and answered
"No one can have an idea of the peace
and content of married life ~ A smile
both material and encouraging, showed
that Mr.. Sorghum was an approved
candidate for the position of son-in
law.
/ Lou, who was clever, and had lofty
bearing and marble white skin, and
wonderful rows of coal black scallops
on her pretty forehead, made proper
and girlish comment on the bachelor
remark but Rosie, who was confiding
blonde with big gray eyes, said moth
ing, and kept on with her crochet work.
Sorghum used inwardly warm emolli-
ment of Wall streetinvective, and wish,
ed himself the Afghan stripe that could
so hold her attention.
Just then Charlie Hedge (he young
stock brokerage firm was Hedge & Sor-
ghum) dropped in, and nodding, fami.
liarly to his partner joined the family
circle by taking.a place by LOUIS side.
He exclaimed
"How jolly ! A regular boom in do
mestic evenings, eh Miss Lou ?"
Now, Uncle Joe was sixty at least,
grizzeled, cleaI,-shaven, heavy-b -browed,
with cast-iron look that seemed made
to withstand humbug, and steel cold,
sharp gray eye that could pierce the
neatest coating of sham. Having at
last finished his reading, he sat awhile
shading his face with his hand then
looked up suddenly, as if he had made
up his mind to osomething, cast search
ing and discomforting glance at the
table and said
"Who would ike to hear Teddy's
letter ?"
a. said Sorghum, with the liveli-
est interest. Ted must be capital
boy. He's your brother (This last
in an aside to Rosie)
"Fine boy" confirmed Hedge. Saw
him here New ears. So cheeky. Cheek
is business capital Ted will succeed
Let us have the letter.
Il think my Teddy is very bright"
remarked Mrs. Gloss, $50 | always
keep hlm away at school, where he has
the best of advantages"
"Yes," answered Uncle Joe, with an
inscrutable intonation boardng-school
is such an advantage to child of ten"
ooh, yes, undoubtedly" sighed man.
ma, with a pensive look at the diamonds
on her nice fat fingers "and we moth
ers sacrifice anything to the comfort of
our dear children.
Uncle Joe coughed noisily, and then
asked
care you all sure you want to hear
the letter, and that you will sit still un-
til the end p
Quite an amiable clamor of voices
assented so he began the epistle,
which dramatically and orthographi-
cally, ran in this wise
DEAR FATHER ~ MOTHER Professor
Whacker gave us subjec for our first
composition when we cum bac after
the holidays he said we must rite an
account of New Years & put in to it all
we saw and herd vile we was hom at
New year so rote mine & and yister-
day he CIV it bac to me with very good
marked onto it 81 he sed for not TO
leve it Lyin roun luce SO guess he
| 'poip ~ was PicIIy Soou " VII
send it to You so as You can see make
some progres brush my teeth very
careful evry mite & am entirely out
of pockit money your aft son, TED
DY."
A murmur of amused admiration
went around, and every one composed
himself, with smile, for further listen
ing,
GAN ACCOUNT OF NEW YEARS.
"Boys e. gurls hav fun on Christmas
aud gifts presints in their stockings &c
but new Years time is for grown folks
crismis eve children has lots of fun so
! think Grown folks ort to have fun on
new years eve, don't want to be mean
about nuthin so didunt anser back
nothin to my sister loo when she called
me horrid troublesome boy for sittn
down in her room after dinner New
years cave she was "Scolding a little
woman wot was dres-maker 81 had
brort a long tailed pink dres Eome