Northwest enterprise. [volume] (Anacortes, Wash. Ter.) 1882-1887, 1884-01-19
A Tale of Love In
1889.
TED. Mott iIr New York Sun. I


come in, and stood way over ut the other side
of the room, by the door, where he was put
ting on his spectacles to read a vendue bill
which had been pasted on the wall since his
last visit to the Crissman house. He turned
sharply about as the Squire spoke. walked
forward, and took seat by the stove. He
handled his cane nervously, and looked
straight at the Squire, who to all appear
auces was not aware that he was in
the room. But the Squire winked at the
Sheriff, and then the boys knew that he had
spoken for the Old Settlers benefit. The lat
ter said:
esquire. did"
"Why, gudeven'n', Major" said the Squire,
as if surprised to see him. "Gudeven'n'.
Well it's gittin' tol'able winterish out.
'rwont be long fore we hef to climb twixt
the blankets. Major. Hay"
Did | unerstan' you to say, Squire, ez
some un were gon' ter be hitchedf' said the
Old Settler. "Ur didn't yer talk loud enough'
Ur I've gittin' deef!'
"Oh, yes" replied the Squire. eyes, yes,
I were sayin' to the Shurf, yer, tn heerd az
the Widder-a-hh-the Widder Crimhint
We're gointer tie on agin."
ooh, ye heerd so, did yer said the Old Set
tier. AN you was tellin of it to the Shurf,
was ye! Wull, now, I'm glad, bgosh, th't ye
tol' me We was talkn' to the Shurf, fur eff ye
hedn't Id a thort to my dyin' day ez ye was
whsperin' of it To them fellers ez's campin'
two miles back yer long the Sh'holy! So ye
heerd ez the Widier Crimhint were gointer
tie on agin, did ye! Wull s'pose she is!
Watts the Widder Crimfint III her tyin's on
got to do with me, b'gosht'lmighty!
"Noth.n', Major! nothin'r' replied the
] q. NJ tn
think on it, they never did hev nothin' to do
with yc.'
can wat were the reasons fur why
bgosh p exclaimed the Old Settler, punctu-
ating his remaks with raps of his cane on the
/ floor. "W'at were the reason fur why Ye
! know durn well, Squire th't eff it hedn't a been
! fur bars an some o the tallet kinds o. lynn
/ Hungryfoot d a tied to me, b'gosh, an she
wouldn't he TIL Widder Crimfiint now,
| loollin' at her time o life fur another man,
an the third un at thatl Who's the foit'nit
individil as is goin'ter change the Widder's
name this time Z"
| There was more anxiety felt by the Old
Settler than his fiippant manner called for,
the boys seemed to think, and they also
thought that the 'Squires reply might have
been less aggravatingly deliberate.
'Um-in-m-let me see, said he; "let-me-
see. Who did hear were the man 'Twa'n't
| Lille Rouz RI Oh, of course not He's gointer
hitch to ole Bunny Jarvis widder An boys
that's gointer be a hummer, that weddin' is!
It's sot down for Thanksgivin', an we wanter
scratch 'roun', Major, an git an invite. Lessee
couldn't ben Job Timpson could it. Wull,
thari Crackee doodle Why can't think o.
who it is ez is gonter marry the Wilder
don't see anyho what's sot her mind on
hookin' on agin, for it 'twan't moren month
ago that she tol' me she wouldn't marry the
bas man livin'-oh l tell ye who it is, Major!
Pete Golip Pete Golip's the lucky indvidjil,
Major"
"What" exclaimel 1 the Old Settler, spring
ing to his feet "What! The Wilder Grim
flint gointer marry Pete Golipf' The Old
Settler stood for a minute with his cane
raised over the Squires head. Then he slowly
lowered it, and resuming his seat, wiped his
face with his bandanna, and said calmly
"Wull, s'pose she is! l reckon she's got a
right to marry who she durn pleases, amt
she! She's old enough to know, b'gosh"
"Yer right she Isl" said the Squire, but
kinder thort ez how ye mowt looked on 1t
ez bein' ruther singular th't gal-boys, I'll
jist hef TO go back an tell ye the hull story,
an let we jedge fer yerselfs whuther you
wouldn't think it was sing'lar fur tn Widder
Crimflint to marry Pete Golip. if yer was
the Major"
The Squire settled back in his chair,
cleared his throat and was about to begin,
when thunp of the Old Settlers cane on
the floor bade pause
''Stop! said he, "Consarn ye, stop! 1t beats
the 'tarnal hills, b'gosh, how things III keep a
turnin' up jis' fur nothn' else, ez it pears to
me, than to turn sumpin' else up that folks
!
eff that story's got to be told yer tonight,
tell it myself! | don't want no lies strung
inter it, ez has ben done fore now. want
the dead fac's in that case put on record fur
wunst. So jes' keep yer tongue to yerself.
If they's any reason fur me to think the Wild
der Crimflints goin's-on is singular, boys, ye
kin all find it out by listenin' to mean don't
ye take no stock in no durn mess o trash ez
mowt be dished out to ye by some fellers ez
thinks they'm a leetle bit smartern the COM
mon run o folks ez earns their money, an
don't depend on it, bgosh, by maxim out
warnts an ish'in' summonses agn their
neighbors an tryin' ev'ry drunken BUSH
whacker ez gifts in row fur 'sault an bat
teryln
This shot at the Squire only resulted in his
redoubling his winks at the Sheriff.
! "All right, Major" said he. "Go in. I've
heerd the story more'n wunst, straight an
true. Now, I'd ruther like to hear your wer-
sion of it. I'll kinder jog yer mem'ry, now
an then, to make it easier for We. Go in,
Major
The Old Settler waved the 'Squire's insin-
uations off with contemptuous swish of his
! cane, and said:
"On the Fourth O July, 1889, they were
| gOinter be picnic in the bush, over back o.
! Gumption Holler, an all that part o. the
county, an more, too, were gittin' ready fur
to be on the carpet when she come off. Ole
Joe Hungryfoot an his wife an da'ter lived
at the Holer. Joe were the meanest man,
b'gosh, ez ever peeled hemlock, but he had a
wife ez were n hummer, an in them days his
da'ter Han were bout ez spruce chunk o
female human natur ez ever done her bes' to
find the red ear o corn at a huskin'."
"Her name were Hammer G.. Hungryfoot," !"
said the Squire, nodding to the Old Settler, as
much as to say, "I'll give you lift on this !"
"Hanner e., but nobody never know'd what
tn: q stood for, but 'aluz s'posed it stool fur
Colt fur she could everlastin'ly go it, and
wen she got goin' it, boys. you mowt jis az
well try To stop runaway mule afOre he got
ready az to try an stop her till she made up
her mind to. The Major, hyer were all gone
to pieces over Hammer g., and SO were Sol
Gable, little Pelig Potter, Lie Crimfint, an
Pete Golip. Nobody couldn't tell which one
O the five she had the sneakinest notion fur,
cause sor times it'd be one an then it'd be
t'other The time o. this picnic ths Major is
winnin' hand agin tother four, 'cor,iin' to
1-AA As.~f L..