Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1884-06-18
FLYING MACHINES.
Bili Nye Chances Critically ut these
Mechanical Birds.

main points of a few for the benefit of
those who may be interested in this
science.
A Frenchman invented flying ma
chine, or doGunny, as we scientists
it, in 1000 and something, whereby he
could sail down from the woodshed
and not break his neck. He could not
rise from the ground like lark and
trill a few notes as he skinned
through the sky, but he could fall Off
an ordinary haystack like a setting
hen, with the aid Of his wings. His
name was Besnier.
One hundred and twenty-five years
after that prisoner at Vienna named
Jacob Dagen, told the jailer that he
could fly. The jailer seemed incredu-
lous, and so Jake constructed pair oil
double-barrel umbrellas, that worked
by hand, and llutterel with this ma
chine into the air fifty feet. lie came
down in u direct line and in so doing
ran one of the umbrellas through his
thoraX. am glad it is not the Gus
tom now to wear an umbrella in the
thoraX.
In England during the present cen
tury several inventors produced flying
machines, but in an evil hour agreed
to rise on them themselves, and so
they died from their injuries. Some
came down on top Of the machines,
while others preceded their inventions
by a few feet, but the result was the
same. The invention of flying ma
chimes has always been handicapped,
as it were, by this fact. Men invent
dying machine and then try to rifle
it and show it off, and thus they are
prevented by death from pertecting
their rolling stock, and securing their
right of way.
lnlSl2 Mr.. William Henderson got
out a "two-propeller' machine, and
tried to incorporate company to util-
izc it for the purpose of carrying let
ters running crrands, driving home
the cows, lighting the northern lights,
and skimming the cream off the milky
way, but it didn't seem to compete
very successfully with other mo les of
travel anil 50 Mr.. Henderson wrapped
it up in an old tent AMI put it away
in the haymow,
In 1853 Mr. J. II. Johnson patented
a balloon and parachute dingus, which
worked on the principle of q ducks
foot in the mud. | use scientific terms
because | am unable to express myself
in the common language Of the vulgar
herd. This machine had Il tail which,
under great excitement, it would
throw over the dash-board,aS it bound
ed through the air
Probably the biggest thing in its
way under this head was the revival of
flying under the presidency of theDuke
of Argyle, the society being called the
Great Britain pronautical society
This society made some valuable cal
culations, adding much to our scien.
tiGc knowledge, and filling London
with cripples.
In 1869 Mr.. Joseph L. Kaufman in
vented aud turned loose upon the pco-
pie of Glasgow an Internal machine in
tended TO soar considerably in a quiet
kind of Il way, and to be propelled by
steam 1t looked like the bird known
in ornithology as the "llyupthecrick,
and had an air-brake, patent coupler
buffer and platform. 1t was INTENDED
to hold two men on ice and a rosewood
caskct with silver handles. 1t wa
mounted on wheels, and as it did no
seem to skim through the air very
much, the people of Glasgow hitche,
n clothes-line to it ana used it for I
band wagon.
Rufus Porter invented an Trial dew
dad ten years ago in Connecticut
where so many crimes have been com
mitted since Mark Twain moved ther {
This was called the "rroport," and wa
worked by springs connected will
propellers. A saloon was suspende
beneath it, presume on the princi
plc that when man is intoxicated h
weighs a pound less. This machin
, floated around the rOtunda of til
Merchants exchange, in New Yor
city, eleven times, like hen with he
head cut off, but has not been on til
5 wing much since then.
, Other flying machines have been il
vented, but the air is not peopled wit
, them as write. Most Of them hay
folded their pinions and sought IL
t scclusion of the hen-house. 1t is
i be hoped that very soon some such mi
r chine will be perfected whereby a ma
) may fit from the fifth story windo
D of the Grand Pacific hotel in Chical
Il to Montreal before breakfast, leavin
n nothing in the room but the furnitu
n and his kind regards. Such an inve
/ ton would be hailed with much jo
n and the sale wonld be enormous Nov
y however, the matter is still in its i
!. fancy The mechanical birds inyer
C ell for the purpose of skimmiI
g through the ether blue, have not skul
The machines were built with hi
hopes and Il throbbing heart, but t
aforesaid ether remains unskum
" we 90 to press. The milky-way is
! the same condition, awaiting the ;
4 rival of the fearless skinner. W