davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

ssked an old Judge o. young lawyer. Yes
slr: 3 great deal. thank you" ''Ah, I'm glad
70 hear il. IN what line Is your practice par
ticularlysn s'Well, sir, particularly N econo-
my.--hsrchanf TrdUsler.
PHILOSOPHER JOHN asks with innocent
frankness, '.How muck milk would you get
from a COW If you didn't feed herf' The guam
tity Of milk you get from the modern COW,
John, depends more on the water and the
chalk you use than on the feed the COW has,
sEws item states that .'the hose Of Mrs.
Branr was broken into during her absence.
and robbed Of $500 worth Of jewelry- clothing
and other property" The only explanati9n
OF this queer statement Is that either Mrs. 4:
Is a Chicago lady, or the printer has LETT u
out Of hose.-4orrist0asn Herald.
"LKT me dream again so you were ar
rested and fined yesterday Tor being drums
and disOTderly; here you are again to-day lor
the same Offense.' Prisoner who has been
pumped on: Yes. Judge. but can you arrest
q man twice on the same charger Judge
'CertaidlY not" Prisoner; Then femme 60
Judge, this Is the same old drunk .'-LJe.
TEE PLUMBERS DAUGHTER
Between the starlight and the day.
In winters deepening cleaning,
AdOwn 3 gl5stenlDg sncw-clad way
Ny love and | were roaming.
The night breeze kissed her sunny hair,
And mingled with its tresses,
And touched her fair cheek here and there
With dainty light caresses.
But suddenly across our path.
With waters dark and troubled,
4 raging torrent rushed in wrath,
It's force each moment doubled.
Cpnfdingly upon the brink
Her hand in mine she trusted,
Then murmured low: George. don't you
think
Somebody's hydrant's busteds'
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

~ r. n Il uffOf
Of the London Daily TelegraDh.
My attention has been called to an arti-
Gle in your issue of to-day, in which you
refer at some length to an anonymous let
ter received in August, 1860, BY my uncle,
the late Sir Edward Archibald, then
British Consul at New York, in which the
writer intimated that the Southern States
would be ripe for rebellion in the follow
ing November, and suggested negOtia-
tiOns for the return of those States to their
allegiance to the British crown. Would
you allow me to say that Sir Edward
Archibald never for moment attributed
the letter in question to Mr.. Judah p.
Benjamin, Queens Counsel; nor. l should
think, would any one who knew Mr.. Ben
jamin have troubled him to repudiate
such a production. The letter was
actually received, and in the then con-
ditiOn Of American politics Sir Edward
Archibald considered it necessary to send
a reply which, l need scarcely say, was
an indignant refusal to entertain any
further communications upon the subject.
The original letter, together with a copy
Of the reply, are, believe, at the Foreign
Office, having been handed to the Secre-
tary Of State. But the late Sir Edward
Archibald kept copy Of the anonymous
letter, and gave another copy to the late
Mr.. ThurlOw Weed, who was collecting
documents relating to the civil war, upon
the understanding that it should not be
published until after the death of them
both. Upon the recent decease Of MIR.
ThurlOw Weed, his representative, not
knowing, / presume, the terms unOn
which the copy was given, published it in
the American papers, and Sir Edward
Archibald did not survive him long enough
to know OF the publication.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
FROM SOCIETY TO THE STAGE

Mrs. Denison, of Baltimore, to Star with
the Madison Square Company Next
Season.
A sensation was occasiOned in social
circles here to-day, says Baltimore spe-
cial of the oath inst. to the New York
World, over the announcement that Mrs.
Charles Denison, lazy prominent in the
highest social circles and highly connect
ed, has signed a contract with the Madi-
son Square Theatre Company ofNew York
and was to go on the stage as a star next
season. When called upon by cores
pendent Mrs. Denison acknowledged the
truth of the announcement, and said the
step was one she had had in contempla-
ton for some time past.
She has been leading lady at the
Wednesday Club here for the past three
seasons, and has taken prominent parts
in 1.-TWO Nights in Rome" sour Boys"
"0range Blossoms" and "a Scrap of
Paper" Her acting is very much like
MOdjeska's. She took part in several
amateur performances in New York last
summer, and it was there that her acting
won her the renoWn which led to her en-
gagement. Mrs. Denison is about 80 years
old. Her husband is not engaged in any
business. She has an income from
property left her by her parents. The af-
fair is the chief topic of conversation in
the clubs and social circles tonight.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
AnrHuR arouRNEp as DEAD
BY the Chinese Minister at Washington
and His suite.

A very good story on the Chinese Minis
ter is just now floating about, says a
Washington special, and as it Is rather
mirth-provoking give it for what it is
worth:
Mr.. Tsao Ju. the Minister, is a most de-
liciously absurd old person and looks like
a Goldfish. He knows about seven words
OF English, but has a spry young secretary
who knows the whole English language.
including the cuss words. One day not
long since Mr.. Ju, stepping out Of bis
front door. saw a printed yellow slip
which had been left BY the gas man lying
in the yestibule. Now, yellow paper in
China signifies the death Of a very dIstn-
guiShed person, so Mr.. Isao. in much agi-
tatiOn, sent for the interpreter. The inter-
prefer had gone OF to the Theatre Com
lque, and so the legation was left to
wrestle with the gas bill alone. The whole
suite was summoned, and ii was con-
cluded that the President was defunct,
and this was the official notice. Mr.. TsaO
Immediately retired to tle drawing room
with his suite, had every window shut up,
and placing the gas bill upon an effigy OF
Confucius, he and his suite proceeded to
hold Chinese wake. They hOwled in
chorus. and they howled separately.
The minister hOwled for an hour in the
changed it to yellow pettieoat and
hOwled more vociferously than ever, while
he beat his breast and tore at his
queue. An African lady employ
ed about the kitchen peeped
through the door after hearing the
hullabalOO, and seeing the gas bill and
knowing the methods Of the Washington
Gas Company, retired, thinking it nothing
remarkable that people should howl over
the gas bills Of the Washington Gas Com
pany. A policeman, accompanied by a
section of American youth, pounded at
the back gate ana demanded to know who
was being murdered by Mr.. Tsao Ju. The
African lady explained that, "Tisn't muffin
but the gas bill, an OATS 'nuff to make
folks holler." The policeman, seeing the
reasonableness OF this, departed. After
five hours Of bawling, interspersed with
tea, frecrackers and Chinese hymns, the
interpreter returned-and it was found
instead Of the President being dead the
gas company merely demanded about SIS
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

A Democratic member who called at
the White House recently was surprised
at the Presidents cordiality. ''Sit down, -
said the President to him. ''and we'll have
a nice talk" The modest member ex-
pressed a fear that the many Republicans,
Senators and Representatives who were
awaiting audience would not like to be
kept so long while a Democrat was before
them. "Oh, never mind them" said Mr..
Arthur; ''you are a Democrat, and so
know you don't want anything. You have
called socially, and / assure you it is a re-
lief to get away from those fellows for a
few minutes. And every one of them i'm
plies that if I'll do as he recommends
about certain appointments there'll be so
many more delegates for me at Chicago.
| am disguised with it ALL" Finally the
member departed. and as he did so he saw
the President shaking his head and quot
ing the civil service reform law to an i'm
Fortunate Senator.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
DINE NOVEL HIGHwAYMEN.
With Glittering Arms They Descend
Upon Peddler and Rob Him of His
Wealth.

With Glittering Arms They Descend
Upon a Peddler and Rob Him of His
Wealth.
Last night as Henry Hornhold, "A peddler,
was driving from SchuylkilI county, says
a Millersburg Pa special Of the oath
inst. TO the New York World, he was
stopped by three armed and masked high
waymen and commanded to disgorge.
The party riied his pockets Of 5000 and a
gold watch. This morning Henry En-
hOltZ, Is years old, was arrested while
trying to sell the stolen gold watch in a
jewelry store at Liverpool. At the JUS
tees Office he said he had received the
watch from tramp. Upon being
searched S215 was found upon him, and he
confessed that he and two others had
agreed to rob the peddler. but stOutly re-
fused to give the names Of his partners.
suspicion was directed against two OF
his companions named respectively Luther
Martin and Henry Khnge, aged - and IA
years. Upon them were found 1925, four
gOld-mOunJed reYOlyers, a number of ac-
tresses' photographs and several dime
novels. They stated that EmhOltz had
instigated the crime and that he intended
taking them to Idaho if his plan proved
successful. EmhOltz is believed to be the
party who has committed several mystic
riOus rObberies in that region lately.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

The New York Park Commissioners
have been in great strait over the alleged
equestrian statue of Gen. BOliver recently
presented to the city by the Venezuelan
Government. 1t has the appearance Of
having been whitfield out by blind man
with a Jack knife. There was such delay
in giving it place in the park that the
ire of the friends Of Venezuela was some
what aroused, and it was only then that
the experts detected in the statue hidden
beauties that constituted it a real work OF
art. They now assert that the old stiff
legged hobby on which the LiberatOr sits
is a faithful representation Of a South
American charger.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
Was 1t a Boy or a Girl?
NdH Francisco Hdsp'

Mrs. Muleahy-Good marnin'.
Mrs. O'Hollihan-Good marn!n', Mrs
Mulcahy.
Mrs. Mulcahy-An' how's the oulC
man, Mrs. O'Hollihanf
Mrs. O'Hollihan-Och, purity well
thankee, Mrs. Mulcahy, but dhrunk agiT
last night, though.
Mrs. Muleahy-Och, dear, dear, the
poor mani
Mrs. OHollihan-Did you hear the
news about the incraise in Mrs. McCar
thy's family, Mrs. Mulcahys
Mrs. Mulcahy-Oi did not. WuZ il q
bye or a gurrull?
Mrs. OHollihan;TwaZn ayther.
Mrs. Mulcahy-Naytherl
Mrs. Hollihan-Nayther: 'twuz twins
Mrs. Mulcahy-WulI, Mull. WIFI
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Ohio has been the scene of another out
rage. At Niamisburg, a village near
Dayton, a solitary ghost has been in the
habit Of occasionally taking little exer-
else in the cemetery. Tuesday night sew
eral hundred people, armed with clubs
and guns, waylaid the spectre which ap-
peared to be a woman in white. They
battered it with their clubs and riddled it
with bullets and shot, but it fioated off in
the air as serenely as if its assailants had
never been born. The figure was recog-
nized as that Of young woman who was
supposed to have been murdered
several years ago, and it was only
her supernatural powers that kept
her from being brutally murdered
again. The people of the village, how
ever, were not satisfied, and next day they
began to dig up all the bodies in the ceme-
terry. If quiet, well-behaved ghosts have
no rights that the Ohio people are bound
to respect, it is high time Senator Sherman
was giving them some. How would he
feel if the ghost of Eliza Pinkston were to
be brutally assaulted by his neighbors in
case it should desire to make a friendly
visit to him after the adjournment Of Con-
gress?
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
The Test of BIaine's Boom


Poor Brother Blaine Not only are hun
dreds of thousands Of strong men crying for
him and trying to drag him from his library,
but Secor Robson writes him a letter. pats
him on the back, and offers to take an active
part in the campaign If the historian will stop
writing history and come back into politics.
Now the Logan men and the Edmunds men
Will be able 10 see how solid the Blaine boom
really Is. II it can stand the addition Of Secor
Rnhesnn IL can stand anNthinc
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

A bomb Of some kind was exploded I'M
der a passenger train in Philadelphia the
other evening, but fortunately little dam
age was done. Had such a thing hap
pened in London the whole British Gov
eminent would have been frightened out
Of its wits over a horrible dynamite out
rage. The bomb is supposed to have been
exploded BY boys in order TO have a little
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Representative Reed, ofMaine, although
he weighs near three hundred pounds, Is
not fat-witted. He has a sharp tongue
and knows how TO use it, as some OF those
who have attacked him have discovered.
A day or two ago a friend in conversation
with him spoke slighungly Of the Senate.
8lr. Reed assumed an air Of great sOlem-
nifty and rebuked his friend. He said:
you must never speak with levity or
disrespect Of the Senate. That is the place
TO which al great politicians 90 when
they die"
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Mr. Philip Armour, the celebrated Chi
cago pork packer and meat Gamer, is said
TO have his eye turned toward national
politics Does he, too. want the Presi-
dency. He would certainly wish to go
The whole hog or nome
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

4 logan and Lincoln ticket would be
alliteratiye enough and illiterate enough;
but alas. they can't both 20 in, even from
the great state OF Illinois. and Lincoln ap-
pears To have the larger boom for the
smaller Office
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
CURRENT COMMENT
Rottenborough Distriets.

PhUddelphf1 Press lEeD.I.
Tie New England Democrats declare for
Tilden. The voice Of New England is 10 the
Democrats what the South Is 10 the Repub-
licans-it helps to nominate, but not 10 elect.
Hence il j. a bad guide.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

1t is stated that the Hon. David Davis
viii head the Logan crusade at the Ma
tionaI Republican Convention. II ayoir-
dup0is counts for anything the Logan
mon viii have an irresistible leader.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
A Reconciling CONFEDERATION

b6atHtoFo D4W tLett.i.
Judge" TOurgee is pre-empting his claim
to the discovery Of Bob" Lincoln as the COM
ing man Of 1891. The only thing which could
reconcile us to -.BOb's" election would be that
in such case he might give the Judge q
foreign consulship, and thus relieve the coun-
try Of him.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
The Naval Stores Trade.

Twelve years ago, as shown by the
President of our Board of Trade in his an
nual report, this city was unknown as a
naval stores market. 1t is now the largest
market of that kind in the world. During
the last fiscal year the receipts Of spirits
turpentine were 1924 barrels, and Of
rosin 800. 49, barrels. The money value
Of these products was about $4,000,O00.
The marvellous growth Of the naval stores
trade at this port is not wholly due TO
natural causes. The energy and enter
prise of our merchants contributed a great
deal To it. This trade adds largely to the
prosperity Of this city, and, there
fore, ought to be encouraged in
every possible way. 1t has called
into life several manufacturing industries.
1t gives employment to hundreds Of
laborers in the summer season who would
otherwise be idle. 1t brings annually a
very large amount of business to the city.
1t is a trade which Savannah doesn't
want to lose, and which she will not lose
until its source is destroyed. But how
long will the pine forests-the source
last; Not very long under the present
destructive system Of the naval stores
producers. Would it not be we'll for the
Board of Trade to take steps looking to
the preservation Of the pine forests! By
q proper system trees can be made pro-
ductive three times as long as at present.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Ten lines make a square, line averages
seven words. Advertisements. per 50 uare,
one insertion. g. 90, two Insertions. 81 - I,
three insertions. 8 GO; SIX Insertions, S. 90.
Local or Reading Notices double above rates.
Reduced rates ON continued advertisements.
Amusement advert sements 81 80 per square.
Auction advertisements. Marriages, Funerals.
Meetings and special N0tiees 81 % per
square each Insertion
Wants. Boarding. For Rent. Lost and Found,
10 cents g line. No advertisement inserted
under these headings for less than 30 cents.
Special rate for Weekly Aelss.
We DO not insure the insertion or any aQVer-
tisement on any specified day or days, nor
10 we insure the number OF Insertions
within the time req uiredby the advertiser.
Advertisements VIII, however, nave lnelT
Fun number Of insertions when the time
can be made up, but when accidentally
LEFT out and the number Of insertions can
not be given. the money paid fcr the omit
ted insertions will be returned 70 the al
vertfser All letters should be addressed
J. II. ESTILL. Savannah, Ga.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Rev. Mr.. Bacon, Of Dwight Place
Church, New Haven, resigned because
he was too Intellectual for his cOngrega-
ton In other words ne INDUCED in such
''hlghfalutin' language that he might as
well have preached in the original He
brew at once. such 4 man ought to com
mand a fine salary in Boston. They en-
10Y such ~cultuh' there, whether they
understand it or not.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Keep your mouth shut. Nearly all
your social troubles come from talking
too much. over half the sore threats
come from breathing through the mouth.
and snoring can only take place when you
sleep with your mouth open.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
Arrant Hypocrites and valiant spoils


The Republicans are loud in their profess
siOns. but whenever put to the test snd com
PEELED 70 choose between civil service reform
and the profits Of political jObbery, they in
variably belle their pretensions anu prove
themselves arrant hypocrites and valiant
.rnIIeman
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

A Philadelphia Judge refused to license
a female lawyer, but a Chambersburg,
Pa. court has atoned for the want Of
gallantry by swearing in female Dep
uty sheriff. She is the daughter of the
Sheriff. and is about . years old.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

To make salad that's certain to please
all tastes you need only use Durkee's
Salad Dressing. Nothing equal to it was
ever offered, and none so popular. Ii is a
superb table sauce.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

The statesmen appear TO have been
rather premature in searching out a
name for tie northern part Of Dakota.
IL VIII not be needed vet awhile.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28
Fires in Cotton Cargoes.

The recommendation in the annual re-
port Of the President of the Board of
Trade. read before the board Wednesday
night, that a committee be appointed to
investigate the origin Of fires in cotton
cargoes at this port, is good one, and
ought TO be acted upon at once. Within
the last year quite a number Of these
fires have occurred here, and in no in
stance has there been satisfactory
explanation Of the cause Of the fire.
Several theories have been advanced, but
no one Of them has been generally &C
cepted. The President Of the Board Of
Trade suggests that the Board Of Under
writer's and the Cotton Exchange CO
operate with the Board Of Trade in this
matter. II is to be hoped that both the
suggestion and the recommendation will
be approved by those bodies. As the Board
of Trade has taken the initiative, it would
be well for that institution to appoint a
committee Immediately to meet commit
tees Of the other two organizations.
Prompt action is what is needed. If there
is delay it is probable that nothing will
be done.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

seeor Robson has come out openly for
Blaine. Now if Keifer viii only come out
for him he viii have fat team that ought
to give him chance to win in the race Tor
the nomination.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

The J0-cent toy pistol was heard from
again Tuesday. 1t scored another youth
I'M victim at Franklin, Pa.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

J. q. GOODRICH, Northern Advertising
srauqrpr 20 DAILY MORNISG NEWS aDd
WEEKLY news. sun Building, New York.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

The train load Of corn sent TO Cincin-
natl by the Wichita Kansas people for
the benefit of the flood sufferers was sold
Tuesday at auction. One car load Of ear
corn was bought by the Southern EX-
press Company at 81 per bushel. Thirty
one car loads brOught about $500.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Ii the chestnut is really dying out there
is one consolation. The worm in the
chestnut viii have to hunt up other
quarters.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

The Connecticut House of Representa-
tives has passed a civil rights bill, which
is said 10 De a substantial copy Of the
United states statute on the subject. 1t
was proposed by Democratic member.
Have the Connecticut Republicans given
up the guardianship OF the man and
hrnfhere
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Missouri is not a good State for nom
residents TO lend money in. The Supreme
Court has Just declared constitutional the
statute forbidding the collection Of money
loaned to citizens by persons living in
other States The law is a peculiar one,
and one that initiates very much against
the material interests Of Missouri.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

4 Philadelphia custom house official
claims to have solved the mystery Of the
Keely motor. What he really wants to
do. however. is 10 solve the mystery Of
getting stockholders TO ante up whenever
he needs a few thousand dollars. Mr..
KeeIv is vet considerably ahead.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

The Sisters Of st. Nincents Infant Asy-
lum in Baltimore, recently nursed their
little patients, over seventy in number,
safely through an epidemic Of measles.
The little fellows are now fast recovering
from the whooping cough. They must
have had a musical time in that asylum.
Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-28

Notwithstanding the fact that the leYees
Of Louisiana are breaking one after an
other. and the state is being rapidly inun-
dated. the Governor Of that State, who
was re-nominated because it was claimed
for him that he was levee Governor, is
away from his post Of duty making cam
paign speeches in his own interest. This
gives the PicayuRe a chance to say that
.sthere is, we must admit, nothing like
having a Ievee Governor, and nothing
like getting him upon the highlands at
the danger signal. where he is not in dan
ger Of being drowned" 1t Is rather IN
generous on the part of the Picdyune to
be hitting at the Governor for looking af-
terhis own interests. How can he carry
out his levee policy unless he is reelected.