The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-10-09
The Duke OF Wellington's Experiment.

INV DuhS VI =
In ground-foo of one of the large
public buildings of London man sat
writing at table covered with papers.
He was short, strongly built figure,
with prominent nose, and face hard
and massive as granite statue, wear
ing the set look peculiar to men who
have surmounted great difficulties and
confronted great perils. Few, indeed,
had had more practice in both than this
man, for he was no other than the Duke
of Wellington, and his browning VIC
tory at Waterloo was but few years
old.
There was the tinkle of bell out
side, and then murmur of voices in
the aute-room; but the Duke never
raised his head from his writing, even
when his Secretary entered and said:
IF it please your Grace, that man
with the bullet-proof breastplate has
called again, and wishes very much to
see your Grace for moment"
The, Dukes face darkened, as well
it might, for the man In question was
the most pertinacious bore he had ever
encountered. The bullet-proof cuirass
was his own invention, and he never
lost chance of declaring that the
safety of the whole British army de-
pended upon its instant adoption of
this unparalleled discovery" which he
carried about with him, and exhibited
at all times and in all places.
Had this been all he would soon have
been disposed of; but, unluckily, he
had contrived to interest in his inven-
ton one or two of the Dukes personal
friends, and to get from them letters of
recommendation which even Yelling
ton could not easily disregard. Some
thing must clearly be done, however;
for although the fellow had hitherto
been kept at bay, he was evidently de-
termined to give the Duke no peace till
the matter had been fully gone into.
For moment Wellington looked so
grim that the Secretary began to hope
for the order which he would gladly
have obeyed, viz, to kick the inventor
into the street forthwith. But the next
instant the iron face cleared again, and
over it played the very ghost of smile,
like CLEAN of winter sunshine upon q
precipice.
"Show him in, said he, briefly.
The observant secretary noted both
the tone and smile that accompanied it;
and he inwardly decided that it would
have been better for that inventor if he
had not insisted on seeing the Duke.
In came the great discoverer-a tall,
slouching, shabby, slightly red-nosed
man, with would-be jaunty air, which
gave way little, however, before the
Iron Dukes" penetrating glance.
Il am glad to think that your Grace
appreciates the merits of my invention"
said he, in patronizing tone. "They
are, indeed, too important to be under
valued by any great commander. Your
Grace can not fail to Eememher the
havoc made by your gallant troops at
Waterloo among the French cuirassiers,
whose breastplates were not bullet
proof; whereas, il"
Have you got the thing with your"
interrupted Wellington.
The inventor unwrapped very snowy
looking cuirass of polished steel, and
was just beginning long lecture upon
its merits, when the Duke cut him short
by asking.
care you quite sure it is bullet
proof?"
"Quite sure, your Grace"
"Put it on, then, and go and stand in
that corner"
The other wonderingly obeyed.
"Mr. Temple" shouted Wellington to
his secretary, "tell the sentry outside
to load with ball cartride, and come in
here to test this cuirass. Quick, now!"
But quick though the secretary was,
the inventor was quicker still. The
moment he realized that he had been
set up there on purpose to be fred at,
and to be shot dead on the spot if his
cuirass turned out to he not bullet
proof after all, he leaped headlong
through the open window with yell
worthy of Blackfoot Indian, and dart
ing like a rocket across the courtyard,
vanished through the outer gateway |;
nor did the Duke of Wellington, from
that day forth, ever see or hear of him
again. -DdUid Ker, IN Editors Draio-