Connecticut western news., 1884-10-15
WIT AND WISDOM.

"AA ANb HANhNNs
 IF nobody loves you be sure it is yOui own fault
 TIE road to economy Is not acruSs fowerbeds.
 Tn early advertiser catches the fall trade, as usual.
 A YOUNG lady whose sleep was broken has had it mended.
 A RICH dress is not worth a straw to one who has poor mind.
 IF consistency is jewel, why isn't it more fashionable to wearit2
 THE stove dealer, who is a great advertiser, generally prospers.
 TIE man who paints the town red At night feels blue in themorning.
 WE rate ability in men by what they finish, not by what they attempt
 Is THE girl who elopes with the coach man always girl of stable habits
 TAKE care of your ignorance, and your wisdom will take care of itself. MR. MoRosrNI, it is said, will reside in Venice There fre no ooaohmen In Venice.
 THE crank who is going over NiagAN Falls in rubber ball will have the grand bounce.
 TIE best and most important part of a mans education is that which he gives himself
 THERE is something funny in an elopo- ment that happens in the family of fsome one else.
 JUNE bug got de golden wing. Light min bug de flame; bed bug got no wing at all, but he git dar all de same.
 SOME investors in dry goods have a notion that silesia must necessarily ''sile" easier than other material.
 TIE baseball catcher will shortly go into retirement to grow a new crop of fingers for next years campaign.
 POWERFUL steel knives, which will out cold iron, have been invented. They will be useful in railway restaurants.
 THE power of applying an attention. steady and undissipated, to a single ob- ject, is the sure mark of a superior mind.
 On, Leol Leo Leo Leo
 The sweetest ever seeni
 'Twere butter we had never met
 Oh, Leo Margarine
 IN every relation of life we must bear and forbear; we must not expect perfeo- lion, and each party should carry the cloak of charity for the other.
 "I UNDERSTAND you want coach. mani" "Yes, sir. How much expo rience have you hadY' "Thrce." ''Three whatp" "Elopements.
 So LONG as thou act ignorant, be not ashamed to learn. Ignorance is the greatest of all infrmitos; and when justified, the chiefest of all follies.
 THERE should be, methinla, as little merit in loving a woman for her beauty as in loving a man for his prosperity; both being equally subject to change.
 ''coME, pretty maiden, como with me-" "why should come, good sir, with thee 2" 'why, I'm a coachman, manly and true"
 "Ah, that settles it. m como with you"
 GEoRoE-yes; take up my violin for my own amusement occasionally, but I never play before company. Tom Thank you, my dear fellow, thank you, thank you.
 IT is said that the King of Siam has 263 children. If this is the case no parent will blame him for going into the adjoining country once week to get nights sleep.
 WHEN Fogg bought some candy, which was apparently one-third terra alba, he handed it back, after tasting of it, with the remark, "I only want what pay for. don't want the earth"
 SHOULD you meet a man who grabs your hat frsntically and inquiries after the health of your family, flee from him as you would A pestilenoe. Nine times out of ten he is a candidate for office.
 MANKIND differ in their notions of sue preme happiness; but in my opinion he truly possesses 1t who lives in the oon- scious anticipation of honest fame and the glorious figure he shall make in the eyes of posterity.
 IF a man wants peace to reign in the household, he should count ten before speaking, at times when he feels as it his clothes don't it him. And on days when tbe kitchen stove doesn't draw he should count four hundred and eighty.
 "wHAT are you doing now 2" asked Western visitor of a Marathon man. "Farmin'." "What are you trying to raise ?" "wall, to tell the trewth. I'm trying to raise S2, 900 mortgage. But the climate ain't right. There's too much due on fl"
 Ir chanced one gloomy day in the month of December that good. humored Irishman applied to a merchant to dis- count bill of exchange for him at rather long, though not unusual date; and the merchant casually remarked that the bill had a great many days to run. "Thats true" replied the Irish man, "but, then, my honey, you don't consider how short the days are at this