Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1884-02-23
"a WITLESS THING" /"

~ document in madness; thoughts and re-
membranes fitted. Hamlet act W., scene D.
''Now remember, Lord GraytOn," said
the doctor solemnly, ''all told you. You
are very welcome to come to our ball; Us
a rule, we only ask certain set OF wise
men and maidcns who know our ways and
their ways. Still, you are good-lookinS,
humorous and chcery, and if you are sen-
sible you can enjoy yourself, and maybe
do them a world of good. | believe in
electricity as curative agcnt-not the
ouack nonsense Of belts and chains and
musical boxes, that only shake the nerve
centers, but the real electricity of animal
spirits, the tonic Of good health"
81 shall do exactly as | ALI bid, said
Lord Grayton, handsome, florid, mus
cular young man. strong as horse, buoy
ant as a balloon, just back after self-im-
posed exile OF five years in India with the
big game; "but tell me Of all those con-
founded cautions again. | did 4 lot of
dancing of various kinds years ago, before
went after the tiger s"-and he laughed
as mingled memories of Mayfair aud the
Lotus Club swan back to him-''and I've
tried both the Corroboree and the Salongo,
but 'pon honor never danced with Il lu-
matte girl yeti
care you quite sure Of that!" said the
Doctor, grimly; "thcy arc to be met with
outside Copswood, can .eil you. How
ever, listen; the rule is simple. Be civil
and don't contradict. If old Crackston
asks you to play chess, play. He's a good
player, and will beat you fairly if he can !;
if he can't he'll make false move and
call 'checkmate,' and you must resign. If
poor Snobly thinks you are the Prince,
and 'Sirs' you all over the place, and
throws out hints about being asked to
Sandringham; if you are asked to listen
to the Ginning clock in Bakers interior,
or to avoid some one else because he's
glass and might break, you must do your
best to be courteous to them all, , and OIL no
account laugh at their fancies."
sounds rather jumpy. And the la
dies?"
"I'll see to that, and introduce you to
the incest, and tell you what TO avoid
speaking about; the men will make the
talking for themselves, the women don't
talk much"
"Sign of insanity, l suppose. and what
am to talk about:"
Everything save the one thinG-tlie
Empress of Austria, or the stage, or white
roses, or Mr.. Mallock, or black stockings.
LII give you the cue, never fear; only it
may happen that one of them will ask you
to dance, and then you must steer rs best
you can-talk society or art OH chance.
My own girls and their friends get on IA
mously with the male patients, and you
must do your best. Come, you are going
to be our best tonic tonight, and you
must be off and dress; nine sharp, mind,
as they all go to bed at midnight"
"Quecr thing this" soliloquized Gray
ton, as he completed all elaborate dress
ing, "beginning my first season after five
wears by dancing with lot of lunatics.
Hope they won't wear straw in their hair :;
II they do l shall bolt to the Congletons'
dance"
lie had many strange adventures that
evening as he strolled about the pretty
ballroom at the Copswood private asy-
lum. lie was duly defeated at chess by
the venerable CrackstOn, who deliberately
slid back captured queen on tie board
and performed prodigies of Yalor with
her. lie sympathized with the gentleman
who had swallowed a crocodile, ard he
noticed the pale cadayerOus man who
amused himself by counting the lights on
each side of the room and singing softly
to himself: ''Sorry can't admit it, sorry
| can't admit it,'' lie had been All acros-
tic editor once upon a time. lie noticed
the fussy little man, with a pale blue
shaven face, who wanted to stage-manage
the sixteen Lancers, and who piteously
entreated the dancers to ''go back over all
that again, please, try and get it crisper," :"
and the erratic journalist who wrote par
agraphs on his shirt cuffs, and many other