Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-07-04

Business.

AoPoil "aSolio anu carriages, StlQ a
fellow to the editor.
"Would you like to have in a stand
ing Advertisement or among local adj
vertisements :" said the editor.
go, I don't want an advertisement
yet, l just thought you might want an
item of news" was his reply. -
"Wou'd YOU like 20 subscribe for the.
paper?" asked the editor.
SWELL, no, I'm taking about all / can
read now. l may take yours when.
some. Of 'em run out !
SCENE 2d.-The next day the editor
wanted two spokes put in his buggy.
wheel and the dashboard fixed up, and
he went to the s%hopkeeper and said.
You can TX this buggy if you want
a job to keep you busy"
The shopkeeper looked it over and
SAID: "The smokes will be 80 cents each
and the dash Q dollar, making 80 for
the necessary repairs"
"But," SAID the editor, 81 don't care
to pay anything for it; thought you.
might Want a job TO fill up your tine.
just an item you know"
But the shopkeeper was indignant,
and said with a curve Of his spine" Do.
you think I'm ad-dfool, an come here
to work fer nuthin? d'y think lean buy.
iron, and wood and coal, rent a shop.
and keeptools and dc work fornuthin p"
20, excuse me-" said the latter, "but-
l own a printing Office, type and Office.
furniture Which cost hundreds Of dol
lars, | have to buy paper, ink, ETC., and
pay cash for hired help, coal and all
such n~ecessaries. I have a circulation
of one thousand copies which costs me,
each week MANY dollars to issue. and.
only yesterday you had the mule cheek.
audacity to ask that I tell these one.
thousand families that yoU were in:
business, ready to receive their custom,
for nothing. You muckle-headed Jack.
ass have you not brains enough to un-
derstand that your item of'news is the
best kind Of an advertisement, and that
you were begging Or trying to steal it
by false, or, at least, ignorant means?
[ brought this buggy here to try O at
your W game, but I'll let you pass
with this lesson, while 7 go over to the
shopkeeper who said he wanted me to
advertise his business and make out
my bill for it. He shall fix my buggy
and You may go TO the hot place."
Congressman Horr, of Michigan, has
a new white hat, and in explanation of
it, says: "Ihis hat" said Horn, taking
it off, 'has a history. I went out there
with a black plug. One of the Wiscon-
sin delegation, named Stephenson, who
is a brother to the member of that
name, sat next to Inc. He had received
a letter from his brother telling him
that Arthur would certainly be nomi-
mated. lie was at heart a Blaine man.
but he believed in the political fore
sight of his brother. When the eSa9ssnd
victory for Blaine came in, 10 asked
me to lend him my black plug. Ihand-
edit to him. He got wild at Blaine's5
nomination. He threw his hat on high.
He jumped on it. 1t looked like a con-
certina in repose. He then brought
me this hat, and what is better, said
that he sent in The bill for it to his
brother.-Ex.
The clergy in the west of England
were formerly devoted to whist. About |
the beginning Of the century there was
a whist club in a country town of Som
ersetshire, composed mostly of clergy
men, that met every Sunday evening
in the back parlor OF a barber's. Four
OF these were acting as pail bearers at
the funeral Of q reverend brother, when
a delay occurred from the grave not be-
ing ready, and the coffin was put down
in the chancel. BY way Of Willing
away their time, one Of them produced
a pack of cards from his pocket and
proposed a rubber. When the sexton
came to announce thatthe preparations
were complete, he found them deep in
their game, using the coffin as their ta-
BILE.
Deadwood Times:-Eastern Dakota
papers heartily endorse the project for
a display Of Dakota's resources and ad-
vantages, at the Worlds Exposition,
New Orleans, and warmly second prop
osition to levy an assessment upon each
county to meet necessary expenses. If
Dakotaians generally could fully I'M
derstand the scope of the exposition;
what has been done and will be done
by the several states and all principal
municipalities, and could realize the
great benefit that will accrue to our ter
ritory from a proper display, there
would be only Il desire and one Voice.
The relatively small amount necessary
to render the exhibit q success, will ac-
complish a great good in return,
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