The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-11-20
WHOLE NO. l54S.

Billy buchanan, of whom we spoke as
running for prosecuting attorney on the
democrat ticket up in Tuscola county, got to
the front in very good time.
John Emery, while carrying some wood
up tho steps the other day, fell aud broke
his left shoulder. Men should always let
their wives do such heavy work and thus
avoid distressing accidents.
Maud s. got to the front the other day as
Lexington, KY, IN 2:094, record that Jay
Eye-See will never disturb. This wipes out
oil former records, and, being made SO late
IN the season, IL considered by horsemen to
be equivalent to 2;0S.
David Woodman, 92 year old boy, had
one of his toes amputated the other day Just
because it got in notion of trying to peek
under at his heel DIR. Andrews did the
business for him, and the boy is getting
along as well as could be expected under the
circumstances
In reply to "Timothy Tar" the cute 331:
per cent gentleman, who charges Us with
using the agricultural society's straw, track,
etc. on which to train our horse, we would
say, they were not worth a straw, and the
track and stalls we procured of the Paw Paw
horse association which owned them and
which only had right to let them. He says
we chew tobacco and squirt the juice on
ladies' dresses as they pass along. That is
too brilliant and brainy altogether, as VIC
never took a chew of tobacco in our life.
lie then says we should take hold and help
raise the institution. Almighty power only,
can raise the dead, we can't. Then he offers
to assist Us TO the presidency OF the concern.
Don't want it, sir. If we did, would prefer
to be backed up by those who don't wear
No. II boots and No. 8 hats, and who have
little respect for George Washington and his
little hatchet.
We wrote up some items not long since
for the local columns of this paper. in one of
which we said Lincoln Threadgould of the
Lee district, had a new bean thresher. The
digester of our writings got it a new baby.
Now, there is big difference between a baby
and bean thresher. One is made TO thresh
beans, the other to be threshed, and eat
beans. One ia born with two or three hun
dred teeth, the other toothless. One is
hummer, the other a squaler. They get up
steam by the use of water to run one, for the
other they use milk. One is cared for and
fed by men, the other by women. One is
drawn around on trucks, the other in q baby
carriage. One keeps up big noise all day,
the other all night. One is taken TO church
sometimes, the other very seldom. One
goes about the country at work, the other
! stays at home and makes work These are
a few Of the differences between a baby and
bean thresher. Now, Lincoln is an exem-
plary young man, knows nothing of the joys
of matrimony. never enjoyed the pleasure of
wife's cold feet against his spinal column,
| always led religious life, and could be in
no wise responsible for baby, while on the
other hand he could father dozen bean
| 81 u. 4
ton his motives. We make this apology TO
enable the editor to head OFF a $4,000 libel
suit with which he was threatened. He ia
entitled to great credit, however, for getting
even a small baby out of our writings, as We
are often stuck on them ourself. We feel
that this is due to Lincoln and it comes as
! free as everlasting grace.