The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-04-03
Wearing Mourning

Wearing Mourning.
Wo had All article on this subject sev.
sra! months ago, and the following SEN
Dble remarks from the New Orleans
Tines Democrat, on the same line of ar.
gument rs that advanced by US, may do
some good:
There is one old and long established
custom that women ought TO possess
moral courage enough to take into their
own hands and settle for themselves on O
simple and permanent basis. 1t is the
custom of wearing mourning for depar-
ted friends. The putting on and taking
off of black within stated time is in
itself, In stead of compliment, an in
suit to the dead. One does not pu: on
and put off ones sorrow in this way
there is theref re no reality to tho fash-
ion of symboizing it. a loss by death
is irremediable the grief of il may be
hidden away, but it lasts forever. 1t ia
true that the desire when one has lost q
near and dear friend is for silence and
darkness, for neutral tints and for the
presence and association with only that
which harmonizes with our own sense of
loss aud bereavement. But we cannot
often indulge in this selfish absorption,
and exclusion-and it is doubtless good
for US that we cannot. Our lives 80 out !;
our duties remain. They must be per.
formed. We put our gricfs away. We
do not intrudo them upon others. We
look them up aud keep them rs sort of
luxury for quiet hours, when indulgence
will not interfere with our obligations 10
the living, with active participation in
the duties of the hour. There is no
reason, of course, why women should do
violence to naturul feelings and wear
high colors and gay ornaments Mt q time
when their hearts are sGddened by heavy
loss. Let :heui lay aside what they no
longer take pleasure in, and wear their
simplest. plainest, darkest dresses; but
why lay aside what is perfectly suitable
and even in harmony with their own
feelings and incur much unnecessary
trouble and expense in order merely to
put on garments q little deeper, little
darker, little sadder and which oblige
an entire change in the habits of life,
the avoidance of much that would be
healthful and salutary rather than harm
full, the adaptation of social conditions
to the circumstances and accidents of an
individual, and the actual creation of q
code Of ethics, the observance of which
depends on the presence or depth nf a
crape band. The most ardent supporters
of outward and visible signs of woe are
those who are least sensitive to grief, but
VINO like the novelty of an entire change
of wardrobe and the pleasant excitement
of finding cut exactly what ought and
what ought not TO be done under such
circumstances. As there is no authorized
code the rules extracted from self consti.
tuted authorities arc often moro amusing
than practical or reliable. To many
limited but we'll intentioned women the
imagined necessity for "doing as other
people do" in this regard is source Of
extreme embarrassment and perplexity.
Perhaps they cannot afford the outlay ;
perhaps they have only recently, by dint
of much contrivance, replenished their
wardrobes /; perhaps it was not near
relative; perhaps the relative lived at a
distance. All the facts are agitated pro
aud con to make case against assuming
this new burden and the only argument
on the other side, the strongest feeling,
is this, that if they do not conform TO
common custom they will be the subject
of common and impious remark. This
is naturally much stronger in small
neighborhoods and communities. 1t is
therefore the duty of any woman of
position and influence in such commu.
mites to set an example in the right di.
rectiou, and afford the moral support OF
this influence to her poorer neighbors.
In cities women out of certain exclu.
sive circle are fast emancipating them.
solves from their traditions.
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