Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1884-12-19
CHRISTMAS WAITS AND STRAYS
A BATCH or HOLIDAY HUMOB GATHERED N
IRON AL QUARTERS.


A GREEN Christmas makes a lean lverymAn. /
CHmsrMAs rREsENT-The one just at hand.
A PLEASANT salute-the bOughs Of the Christ
mas tree.
Dressing q Christmas tree cannot make IL
look any more spruce
CAP1TAL presents for Christmas or any other
time-Presence Of mind
"Go1 anything for Christmas presentT'
asked plumbottle Of Dolby. Yes" "WhatY"
"Got left
" the children ask how Santa Claus got
down the chimney, ten them he hue down in
his winter SCOT
Now THAT Christmas is approaching it il 4
good time for young men ~ watch the gltL
Let 1t be gold watch. however.
DR.. HOLMES once said. indeed, that ChriA-
tiAnity IL the flag under which nations sail,
not the rudder by which they steer.
TINS is the time Of the year at which a man
gives his wife money ~ order that he may be
surprised with a Christmas present.
HAVE faith IN Santa Claus, and hang mp
your stocking. He has never been known 70
steal one, even if be didn't put anything in it.
NAME clause in our National Constitu-
tiOn, said teacher just before Christmas.
Santa Claus y shouted hAppy-eyed urehin.
''IF old Santa Clans comes down the Chin
ney he must h. a EpUty fellow, said Tommy.
We'll be juFt suits me anyway, chimed IN
Charlie.
A LITTLE Brooklynite, on hearing her father
read Mexican history about santa Anna SUD
denly exclaimed. "oh, papa. II santa Anna the
wife Of Santa ClAusr
"sAY, sis, does Sandy Claws fetch the
snow r Guess be does, Johnny " ''ho he
don't. neither !" "Why don't he - ''Becanse
he always fetches the reindeer"
In buying Christmas presents, it is better for
p. a. r aN-N
strikes your fancy, rather than 10 look At some
thing else. To hesitate If TO be lost.
THERE are lots Of men IL tins country mean
enough 70 put of upOn the wife. who expects
q seal skin sacque for Christmas. q cheap ring
ornamented with glAss-bouse diamond
OK Christmas Day the happy urchin Of two
will roll around on the nursery floor, and break
the yellow legs of the purple camel, and get
sick from chewing too hard on his green head.
IT Il now that the business man begins 70
practice writing '15S5' in place Of "lSS4n
hoping TO become proficient enough,to guard
against profanity Tor insulating letters after
January first.
IT was q Christmas Eve, and they had been
prupoundlnC cUnuudrums. why are you
like the Christmas treeT queried she. BE
cause tbs ever green. ! suppose "Oh, no; it's
because you look 80 spruce
YouR wife hustles out Of the room when You
come home and hastily brushes her dress. You
ind scraps Of zephyr OF pieces OF cloth on the
floor You don't know what It means-but you
viii Christmas morning
EVERY Chicago girl vii hang mp her stock
ing this year. 81 heretofure-Rnd she vii be
ready TO accept anything you may place within
it-frum brown stone front 10 q parlOr grand
or $500 solitaire finger ring.
The current -catch" il TO ask y0ur friend II
Christmas and New Years come III the same
wear. Not q few people will promptly answer
frN hnv md . nal mn
later they feel sIcg over her own mental
weakness.
AFTER Santa ClAus had put cabinet organ,
8 seal skin Eacune. a lap role. box Of gloves
and Webster Unabridged Dictionary III .
Chicago girl's stocking. and saw that 1t wasn't
more than half full he WAs seen 70 climb out
on the roof. SIT down N the snow and weep
bitterly.
IHE man who presented his wife last Christ
mas with = dinner-kettle IL which to put mp
ms dinner on work-day mornings Is puzzled 70
determine what GIFT would be most appropriate
this year He mas almost decided upon .
brlar-woOd pipe for ms wife 70 fill for him
during future hours Of recreation at home.
wHES young man Of Japan falls in love
with an AlmUnd-eyed beauty be ties a branch
Of mistletOe 70 the door Of her house. II such
a custom were in vogue IN this country every
house IN town that contains manageable I
daughter or two would look Rs If il was getting
ready 10 decorate for the festive Christmas
holidays.
YouE wAshsrvomAn should receive Christ
mas card. Nothing viii brighten an humble
home like Christmas card They can be pur-
chased this year for one cent, which price
brings them within the reach OF the poor and
lowly as vel rs the high and mighty. Another
very nice present for your WAshsrwoman, and
one that she viii appreciate, Is 70 pay her what
YOU owe her.
CHARLEY wanted to give Clara q Christmas
present. but couldn't make up his mind what
il should be; 50 the next time he called he
frankly told her the difficulty under which he
Was lAbOring Want 70 make me . present,
Charley ~ Clara exclaimed, IT wel-disguised
Astonishment. why. Charley, you forget
yourself" Charley took the hint and offered
himself on the spot.
THE time OF year has arrived when the sly
husband Is seen 70 enter the house softly with
parcel concealed under his coat, and the curl
osity Of ms wife is so great 70 discover what
she will get for her Christmas that the next
! day, when her husband If away from home,
she cautiously creeps 70 his closet TO painfully
discover that the mysterious parcel Was moth
| ing but pair Of her husbands summer pants
which he had JUST brought from the dyer'G