The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-04-17
WIT AND HUMoR.

OF than will run after dollar, but
hound dog Is more avarieious. He will
follow scent. M 81
Pauline Lucca has been recently en-
gagged to sing at three concerts in Mos
cow for. E1, ,O00. 10 Is better to be born
Lucca than rich. g % A.a1 4aLA s-f2-sSs
A western woman prayed for money.
and feuHd it AS though this was
miracle! We know OF several eastern
men who have preyed for money and
found It.
An exchange says that Noah was the
hrst pitcher on record. He 'spitched
the ark within and without.n The
game was finally called on account OF
The rain.
y I r1his theory that cold contracts everys
thing but water. which It expands,
said one friend to another. us nom
sense. You ought to see my coal bill.
IN Y Tribune.
Anan's brain weighs three and q
half pounds. A womsn's brain is some
what lighter, but OF finer quality. That T
Is what enables her TO taste lard IN her
neighbor's pastry.9 uo' , fBG -r9I
Joseph, my box Of cigars disap-
pears very qnickly." Eyes, siH i take
them. belong 10 the society against
the use of tobacco. and really ia think
that monsieur smokes too much"
Stanley has discovered river in
Central Africa called Kissmelonga. It's
an awful pity that it should be situated
In a country where fellow can't get
. any satisfaction out of it.-Buriingto
Free Press. 'h''ii '--A '' @"-i-
els YOUR wife acquainted with the
up1o o<lt thn v.rn faue enx
of q Newman man. Maybe she is"
was the reply. "but the language she
uses is entirely too warm to have been
dead very long" ~ '% 'ii7
The newspaper foreman got a mar
riagc notice smong lot of items head-
ed ssHorrors Of 1883" and when the
editor learned that the groon's income
was only 81 a week he said il had bet
Ter remain under that head. $50
q Count HsrncOfh, 0f Vienna. now q
= social lion In New York. says. S'Ach.
: Its TOO pad. i can neefer marry but one
Americas, girl. und lOafs all of dom. =
Like Artemus Wards monkey. he Is
described ss an .'amoosin' little -clss. u
A Kentucky man took q dose of
Rough on Rata BY mistake. aud when
aaho hing began to- take, hold OF his.
stomach ana churh ~ ho s"oro py the
great horn spoon that hc andnt got
hold OF such bitters since before the
war. m
An the submerged dlstrict Cihcin-
nat, ,Enqntrer reporter saw man with
. grhpWng-hook hshing IN me wateI;
ss,stD hat arc YOU looking ior. oia manf
said the scribe. m trying 70 nnd
q my house, left it here two or three
days ago" ta' AAi q
A boaster in a hotel was telling OF
the many sections OF the country Wnicn
ne had visited A iehow =. ms eipow
asked, "have you ever peen ~ Aige-
brap" oh. ycs!' said the Doaster, -
passed through on top OF sfage-coacn
about year ago
An exchange comes to MS with Q
poem entitled, How to kiss. marked
In blue pencil Eithere the author IS
blamed proud of his production. or else
he thinks we don't know how 70 do it
in either of which cases he Is way
- 0h.-BitrsAgfo11 free 1fess. -.-'-- -----'--
A woman's brain ia of timer quality
than that Of man. Fineness OF brain
gives quickness OF perception. and we
see that fact illustrated In this: A wo-
man can tell what another woman has
got on. at Q glance. whereas man
might study the matter over Tor year
e&nd be no wissr- @
In the opinion of o genuine Kentuck,
ian. there is no part of our national
history SO important On the fact that
Old rese An1ersons son Caieo narrieu
: Iooe Walkins uangn,er' ana sileI-
Ward owned step hlgn. tns morse
xnat Den oaius rode rom lexington W
Frahktort ia 1908.
j. M. Hill, the theatrical manager,
70 said TO be so lucky that II he were to
leave his slippers at an hoteithey would
be forwarded 10 him to the next town
with q ahalf-dozeti pairs of silk stock
ings in them. The only time he ever
1eii down ne Is said 10 nave picked up
q diamond pun "a ser :.
Z ~ Where are you taking me tor ask
ed criminal, addressing the detective
who had just arrested him. Il am tax
ing you TO the office OF the police super
inteEdeni, Twas the reply II wish to
observe in this case, them" said the
culprit, ''that It Is the Office that seeks
the man, and not the man the Office. ~
"Maroerv. " said Etbelbert as thew
sat on opposite ends of the Turkish
-divan. "why am / like the letter or
and silence fell, broken only by the
molodious cough OF Msr sery' warrant
ed New England throat. because,
dear, added Etheibert. Il feel that /
am useless without U.'-Boston Com.
Bulletin.
.-.:F. .,,. b
w.s ;n,roTnoei ~ % ntt on & ene proSIammoi S;l me;
S.st ,.aaI A. ;roto on o.I ui Ia,
-s;.ts H. - 80 - Ia.i vs. " "
1,at,vooD "r,h'h & ~ @nsol s car
s's'I,,'SJ ~ ''o anu Sy,., iolcnnSet' anu
t;snrs a - % s,har v. a",;1 ms .nis new
ii3aiS 70 Lo Oonar,Ii,, ;atr,.I, ~ - nos
~, ~ .I'.. ue0e1, Us
, th;nSs :, .i,ora.ha .ha. 80 onS ol .ncm'
PnnLsa c,.., 0'"0i 'oo irI1'a'ing
~ D'"'
rasssenger1how long have you been
gmPloycq on ihe street carss Driver-
nitoen year; Darrln whln was sick.
"a