The Osceola times., 1884-05-24
EPrERvESCHNCE.

Gouverneur Herald.
Mrs. Langtry walked thirty-two mile,
hold on minute, advertising cost,
money.-Lowell Courier.
Murder is man slaughter in Cincinna
ii, and man slaughter is mans slaughter
Shoot the courts.-Merchant Traveller.
Nature don't often make fool. She
| furnishes the raw material and lets il
take its own course.-Fort Wayne Hoosi
er.
An editor makes q point when ht
sharpens his lead pecil.-Chicago Sun
But they are very blunt sometimes
Warsaw Wasp.
The Philadelphia Call Gays: "Lent il
the time to go SLOW" Oh, no! you art
mistaken. 1t is the time to go FAST
Boston Budget.
An old bachelor wants to know If IT.,
squall-ity or if it's quantity that takes q
premium at the baby show.-Merchant
Traveller.
There is a petrified baby in museum
at Dallas, Texas, and the ladies all think
it real gneiss little thing.--Bismarcl
Tribune.
Nice life married man leads when
every time he asks his wife for cup ol
tea he knows she'll make il hot for him
Boston Post.
A Cedar Rapids editor wants any
young lady who Jumps to conclusion
to consider him Conclusion" An or.
phan preferred.--Electric Light.
A shock of an earthquake was felt. in
London the other day, and inside of an
hour the police had Jailed twenty seven
Irish suspects.-Bismarck Tribune.
The ancient leap year girl who "would.
MT marry the best man living" has just
engaged herself TO a street loafer. She
stuck to her word Kentucky State Jour.
nal.
Mrs. Barker of Oxford, Connecticut,
who is 96 years old, never employed a
doctor until the other day. Her recov-
cry is nov oespaired Chattanooga
Peoples Paper.
A man may raise in this world and
fall in the next.-Whitehal Times. But
that does not signify that because man
falls in this world he will "ryes" in the
next.-Henderson Gold Leaf.
Aimee tells reporter that she wears
out $500 worth Of stockings every year.
But as stocking comprise her entire ward
robe the figures are not 80 very appalling
Electric Light.
Il pass" said the conductor of the
train, as he looked at the edi-
tors ticket. al didn't think you would
take il up" said the newspaper man,
Breakfast Table.
The reason why Richard III, when
for "a horse was because he disliked
the nightmare which he SO frequently
had ridden.-Gouverneur Herald.
The princess Louisa is said to be look
ing "prcttier than ever" this spring. The
cable message should have read 'less
ugly than formerly" and We might have
believed it.-St. Louis Critic.
Mr.. Henry Watterson Is making him
self pretty disagreeably humorous just
now for a man who has never been a
yoliticsl leader and cannot look straight
at anythipg-Washington Gazette.
A medical journal states that the
weight OF an average Chinese baby is
only five pounds. 1t is strange that such
a light body should acquire "ways that
are dark.'-New York Morning Journal
pottstown lady has not had a pitch.
er broken during twenty nine years of
house keeping. A pitcher dead broke"
is not, however, unusual in the baseball
fraternity.-Hartford Sunday Journal.
Everybody itches and burns and aches
and writhes with the intcnsest desire to
and Brunette of the Sum
ny Cline. Great heavens, girlsl Let up
on buckwheat cakes.-Bra lford SIN 'ay
Mail
Forepaughs white elephant has land
ed. To get even on the leprosy report,
Barnum is industriously spreading the
news that it has got the Asiatic mumps,
and they are contagious. Bradford Sun
day Mail.
There has just arrived in Paris young
man whose head, both as regards shape
and color resembles that of calf He
must be direct descendant of the ORR
ginal prodigal son.-N. Y. Morning Jour
nal.
John B. Cough says: "The press is
the mainstay of SIM" That depends on
what kind Of press you mean, John.
The press is often the mainstay of good
looking eirl.-Williamport Breakfast Ia.
Bile.
The butchers of New York are trying
70 discontinue the transportation from
Chicago and other Western cities of
dressed cattle. Anthony Comstock should
be set upon the track of there butchers.
Boston Transcript.
The editor of New York Life is at
work on tragic drama entitled "The
Lions Mouth" 1t is expected to cause
fu.roar in dramatic circles. With such
! title it should be able to growl black at
he critics.-Norristown Herald.
A Newport girl who had two suitors |
or her hand proposed that they draw
travis for her. They went right away
md drew straws-that is they drew
through straws that reposed
n glasses of liquor.-Fort Wayne Hoosi-
n.
II is the early chicken that first dis.
ards his spring ovacoat.-In the game
4 life a "fulP hand will not beat a |
straight" man.-Paradoxical as it may
eem, live man should always be in |
cad earnest. New York Morning Jour.
al.
A New Hampshire lady has worn one
air Of earrings night and day for forty
ears" About time, We shouid say, to
lka ,om 6ff and havo 'am claanad Ruf