The Dawson journal., 1884-01-17
THE LIME-KlLN CLUB.
WORDS OF WISDOM BY BROTHEB
GARDNER.

From the Detroit Free Press. !

From the Detroit Free Pressl
II desire to announce, said Brother
Gardner as he rose up and looked around
ON the bald heads before him, "dat de
hight Very Honorable Erastus Du Biff.
LID, of West Point, Ca, am waitin'
IN de aunty-room to deliber lecktur'
befo' dis club. De subiick he has chosen
on dis lllustrious occasion am: what
will de fuchur' bring fo'thp He arrove
heah two days ago, an has bin oecapyin'
de spar bed in Brudder Walpole's house.
Arter de lectur' a colleckshuE will be
tooken up fur his benefit, and to morrer
mawnin' he will purceed on his way to
Toronto. De committee will now pur.
ceed to bring him in."
When the committee reached the
ante-room they found the Right Very
Honorable bathed in cold perspiration
and his paper collar fast whiting away.
He had an attack of what is called
stage fright" and the committee had
to rub his back with brick, pour cold
water down his neck, and lend him
fifteen cents in nickels before he could
sufficiently command himself to enter
the hall. He finally appeared, a ROSY
smile mortgaging his features and his
head nodding from one to another. and
was formally introduced by the Presi-
dent. He seemed on the point of wilt
ing again, but Brother Gardner whis-
pered to him that if he did he'd have to
go out of town on foot, and the warning
stiffened his legs and made new man
of him.
"My frens," he softly began, eI
reckon dat mos of you know what de
word fuchur means. 1t doan mean de
huskin' bees of las var, but it refers to
goin' a-tishin' mex summer. De fuchur
means dat which am befo' us. We
know what de past has brung out. What
will happen in de fuchur cannot be
known but may be predicted. I am
heah tonight to predict.
81 do not say dat de fuchur will see a
Guild man occupyin' de White House at
Washington, but predict dat if de
Norf Pole am ever diskivered it will be
by some member of de Lime-Kiln Club.
''De Guild man of de fuchur may not
become world renowned for inventin' an
80O-barreled cannon, but I see no reason
why he shouldn't bring fo'th steam
bootjack or diskiver way to patch
butes wild cold pancakes. Steam be-
longs to de past. A hundred Vars hence
it will be too slow fur any bizness 'cept
sawin' up wood fur poo folks.
81 do not assert dat de fucbur will
do away wild railroads, but de son of
some pusson now widin' sound of my
voice will win fame by inventin' some
way of KILN de brakeman who emag-
ines dat his sole duty consists in roastin
de passengers in eacl, car.
"De fuchur may not solve de prob
lem of fiyin' frew de air, but who kin
tell what de next fifty years may do to-
ward improvin' de hotel bed an de
restaurant sandwich?
To-day we stan an look upon de
SEWN masheen as perfeckshun. Fifty
years hence men will smile at de ideah
of our bein' satisfied wild any sich affair.
A wife will take de sewin' masheen of de
fuchur an support lazy husban' an
nine children widout workin' ober two
days in de week.
"De fuchur will have a heap to do
wild our own pertickler race. De Samuel
Shin of hundred y 'ars hence may be a
city comptroller; de Giveadam Jones
will be President of acollege; de Pickles
Smith will boss a railroad; de Waydown
Bebee will have his name mixed up wild
nashunal bank; de Lord Nelson Slabs
may command an army an de Brudder
Gardner will sit in de Gubiners room at
de State House an sign his ofIishul
name to de bills passed by de Legis-
lachur. Wild cheers. Wild desc few
impervious remarks 1 is dun. / return
my sympathetic adherence for de tyran-
nical manner in which you has bestowed
your attenshun an take my leave of you
in de moas' emblematical manner.
The closing remarks were greeted
with such storm of applause as
broke out several window-panes and
upset two lamps. The honorable gen.
tleman was then conducted from the
hail, and the collection taken up for his
benefit netted him the handsome sum Of
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