davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02

Tabetha on emerging from q crowd Of
hack-driyers at The depot.-N. Y. Con.'
mercial Advertiser.
Query "You s-see," said Blooms TO
his sweetheart, in describing how he
stepped on n lady's train and tore 1t, II
Lost nv h-head you know! y" Did you
miss il much p she crue.ly queried.-N.
Y. Commercial Advertiser.
And vet one wonders at crime: 81 sm
going TO plant my foot down. raid the
lady of the house in wrathiul tones.
what yer going TO raise, corns " inter.
rorated the man of the house from be-
hind his paper -Rockland Courier-Ga.
zette.
ANTIQUARIAN lore: Mrs. Cr9sus-"What
is the price of that clock IN the Loui,
XIV. style ?" Antiquarian-"Excuse me,
but that is in the style of Louis XVI
Mrs. CrrSus-"Oh, that's OF no conse,
ouence. What is one louis more or less
TO us 2"-Harpers Wee@ly.
A terrible threat "Wife, yon shall not
wear those kittens heads Oh your hat"
said a Bergh-cruelty-tO-animal uan 70
| his wife, on the arrival OF her new win
ter hat. You're tyrant, every inch Of
you-but III 60 for reDousse,' replied
the indignant lady.-The Judge.
Old bills: 1.-TWO hundred and twenty
seven bills were introduced into Congress
the first days session" Just think Of
itw remarked Mrs. Simple; isn't it ridic-
ulous? These Congressman get salaries
bip.enough, should think, to pay as
they 90. Two hundred and twenty seven
bills! For things they cot last year Of
course. For my part, ! think its posi-
lively scandalous. s."-Boston Transcript.
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02
BY THE WASHES.
HIRBEEr 4. cLARKf.
ARKANHAR.

We stood for little together.
The ~ater kissing our feet
Around US glowed glad, bright weather;
The morning and you werc,w
thought, as you ~ there dreaming,
Twas y that hghtei the day;
And the water. gisncing and giesminy
And hurrying ever away.
Vocal with brief. light laughter.
A. past you II fed to the sea,
Seemed u linger little. and amer
lthink IT sgreed with mt.
Flushed with the wind and glowing,
Silent you stood awhile
Hair in tue sunlight blowing.
Smiling a dreamy smile.
Aud | .ax the wKvelets glitter,
Glad but to kiss y ur feet,
And the wind SAM, Life may be bitter,
But lovisg can make 1t sweet"
And laughed and lotered around you,
Surely finding you inir;
And The merry sun kissed and crowned you
Queen OF the morning there
Everything fair seemed TO love you.
Seemed prou at your feat 10 fall
Aud the arx. .inslns high above you.
Sang you were the fsire,t Of all
And scarcely word was spoken,
But our souls 10 g ,cu other spoke.
TIL the dreamy spell va, broken,
And we started and smiled and woke.
And 30 in the glorious weather,
In the morning blithe and gay
H,ipy ia being together.
Happily wandered away.
-Harper's Mags zine
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02
Aristocratic Board.
London World.

Some year ago there frequently appear.
ed in the London daily papers an adver.
tisement to the effect that lady would
give e2,000 year to be taken as board.
er TO be taken into family Of high posi-.
ton, but it was distinctly TO be borne in
mind that the establishment was TO be
one already existing, and not to be form
ed with the view of getting her e2,000 a
year.
The history Of this was that widow
lady, very well connected, agreeable, but
somewhat eccentric, who had found
keeping house great trouble (her house
maid on one occasion made her an apple
pie bed, resolved 10 be free of house
keeping caree. She was at first taken at
Gl 900 year into the family of a gentle
man who wanted 10 make some improve
ments to his place, and could net other
wise afford them, bu. who, when he had
recoupe2 himself no longer cared TO
keep parlor boarder Her next home
was With Baronct of very ancient Gun-
lily but embarrassed estate, and having u
large and splei did place to maintain.
With his family the Arrangement answer
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02
Great Artificial Lakes In California,
San Frsncl.co Chronicle.


A patural dam across the centre Of
Bear Valley has been repaired 50 that it
will create a lake that will average four
feet deep over 600 acres. The reservoir
would therefore have q capacity Of lO4
544 600 cubic feet and would furnish 60.
800 inches under four.inch pressure for
twentyfour hours. But thir ls only the
Temporary Grain. The main work is be-
ing done some three miles further down
the valley, ut the head Of the rocky can.
yon, where a solid stone dam is being
constructed. This stone dam can be built
as high as necessary TO collect all the
winter rainfall OF the valley, that covers
some fifty square miles, and it is believed
that water can be collected every winter
sufficient to cover l0oQ scyee ten feet
deep.
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02
AFTER VACATION,

Dull. dull the toll.
To blink Hnd fquint
Der twisted pnnt,
And boil
The VIE, peslif'rous oil.
"A month ago
A lsne-a hedse
OF brush aud sedge-
And 10
A flower OF hectic glow
Il ses It yet arraycd
The crystal bright
Ofiove and light
maid
Then tete a-tete in shaic
The foodirg bliss returns
Icsnnst csge
The blasted page"
(AcIourns
To soil,d and dog cared Burns.
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02
WHAT TIE WITS ARE DOING.

The Mormon question Dearest will
you join my aggregation ?'- Boston
Transcript.
Photographer 10 bald-beaded man
excuse me, sir, but the top Of your head
shines so that it will take extra big. So
fyou don't mind, sir, I'll chalk II bit"
Life.
Foresight: but, Sylvia" said Hattie,
"if you climb that fence Mr. Tawmus,
who is over there, will see your stock
ings" And sylvia replied; | thought
OF that. boston Post.
1t is quite generally believed that
when O New ork Iuan dies he goes to
Saturn lie couldn't be content with n
future existence il a planet that hadn't
two or three rings Life. -
Lost chignon. ar t
madam ?--why,
niaCas by the "a.
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02

Aunt Letitia's economy Is taking care
of bread crumbs which accumulate al
each meal, which she dries in a cool
oven, rolls fine with rolling piu, and
keeps in a covered jar for frying oysters,
egg plant, etc,
The Osceola times., 1884-02-02

Lost a chignon, 81
madam why, l =
pieces by the sa'
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
Quarter to Twelve.

A somewhat romantic story, in
which q well-known young lady who
resides in the Eleventh Ward, and
whose first name is Hermie. is the he
roine. and young man named John
is tho hero, came to she ears of the
Pittsburg Leader reporter. The lady
referred TO is now married. but at the
time the story opens, on last New
Years eve, she was blooming maiden
whose affections up till IL o'clock of
the night in question were unplcdged
to any person. The storye goes, and
its authenticity is guaranteed by subsc-
quent occurrences, that the young lady
had made Il remark shortly before the
Christmas holidays that any young
man of her acquaintance who at a
quarter to II o'clock on the night of
December 81 would make a proposal of
marriage TO her, she would accept.
When she made the remark in the
hearing of one or two of her acquaint-
ances she was under the impression
that shs never would have TO make
good her promise. rs she had not tho
faintest idea that any person would be
visiting her house ut that time OF
night The remark made by Miss
Hermie came to the ears Of two or three
Young men FROM different sources.
They did not acquaiut each other with
their intentions. but they must have all
been of the same mind, as $50 O'Clock
on the evening in question found three
of the maiden's admirers in the parior
of her home. During the casual con-
versation they had among themselves.
they found they were all there for the
same purpose, namely. that OF remain
: ing till Has o'clock. and then propos-
ing to their young hostess. She knew
of this. and was in dilemma as to
how to act, but plan occurred to her.
and she determined to state 1t to the
Young men; so she arose in their
midst, and with sweet smilo all the
while. said: 'Gcntlemen, l am aware
of the object of your visit here, but as
/ can't accept all of your offers OF mar
riage, the best way you can do Is 10
match pennies, and the winning one is
| to remain here till the time comes foI
making the proposal, which said
would accept" This plan was carried
out, and John was the lucky one. and
/ at quarter of an hour before the big
! bell rung out the old and in the new
year he proposed. was accepted, and
just little over two weeks ago Johr
and Hermie were married. the two
losers of the penny matching game
! acting as the best men.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
Parrots.


A few weeks since the papers gave
the story of IL parrot that wa5 fond of
pickles. and to get one put his head
into jar in which sweet pickles were
kept. The pickles were so far below
the surface Of the vinegar that Poll had
to immcrsc its head in the sour liquor
before it could CRAFTY its appetite. The
result was that he became IL bald-head-
cd parrot.
Occasionally some one would refer
TO the loss of its .fcathcrs bv saving,
so you've had Your head in the sweet
pickles, Poll!" One day Il bald-headed
old gentleman, on entering the room
where hung Polls cage, was saluted
by the bird screaming out: Guess
you've had your head in the sweet
pickles!'
Amusing rs is this impudent cxcla-
nation of the parrot, it is parhllcled
by the saying of three other parrots,
which the present writer reports and
vouches for.
The cage Of Massachusetts parrot
hangs III Il photographer reception
room. 1t is not uncommon for n lady.
just us she has finished her toilet, pre-
paratory to sitting for II picture, 10 be
startled by the birds impudent excla-
nation. ''Oh my! amt she daisy?"
A Rhode Islander. who owns bright
parrot. keeps a private school for emil
dren. At recess the children are al
lowed to play in the yard; but are for
hidden to 90 into the street. The lady
is in part of the house where she
cannot see the children; but no sooner
hos one of them slipped out of the yard
before she is at the door TO call the
truant back.
She knows of the disobediencc
through the parrot His cage is hung
by the front window, and rs soon as a
child wanders on to the sidewalk, the
bird screams:
Children in the street! Children in
the street,"
Another of these fcathered takers
belongs in the town of F., in the
same state. His owner, being too fond
of New England rum. sometimes comes
home SO intoxicated that not even the
bird fails to notice it. At such times
Poll seems TO share the family disgrace
for he screams angrily:
Shut the door! You're drunk! Shut
the door! You're drunk" !"- Y0uth' s
Communion.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
How the Divinpr Found the Pin.

At a seance in Lancaster, Pa, o
thought reader boasted that he could
find a marked pin hid by ono of the
audience. Several of them came for
ward, among whom was confederate.
The pin was hid by Trinity student
in an adjoining room in the presence of
the committee, among whom was the
confederate. The student, suspecting
this man from his looks, slyly took the
pin away from its hiding place. On tho
return to the platform the thought
reader gazed into the hider's face, and
putting his hand to his brow was blind
folded and led the student to the place,
but of course could find no pin. He
returned acknowledging defeat and
looking daggers at his confederate.
"Now. gentlemen" said the student,
''l'll undertake to say that if this 'di-
viner OF the human mind will do as |
tell him. half the audience will. with
out single hint from me, know where
the pin is" and turning to the thought
reader he said, ''sit down." lie did
so. There was q yell, and, jumping
up, the thought reader hastily pulled
from the seat of his trousers the mark
ed pin.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
piIESL pILELIIPILESl!l

A sure cure for Blind, Riceding,
Itching, and liberated Piles, has been
discovered by DIR. William, ian Indian
remedy jcallrd DR. WILLIAMS s INDIAN
OINTMENT. Il single box has cured
tie worst chronic c;ISes OF twenty-five
years standing. No one need %Hfifi
live minutes after applying this Won
hcrfut soothing medicine. Lotions ami
instruments du mole harm than gOod
Williams Ointment aisOrha the tn
mOrs, allays the intense Itching, (par-
iicularly ut night after getting warm
in bed,) acts rs Il p"uitict, gives III
slant and painless relief, and is pre-
pared only for Piles, itching of the
private parts, and for nothing else.
For sale by II. Waterman, and mail
ed ON receipt of price, $l.00.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
The Great Water-Tanks of Alden.

The famous Alden tanks for catching
rain-watcr l found to be abandoned en-
tirely as Il source of water supply. III
favor of the condensed sea-brine. When
the rains do come down after II drouth
of several years they come with ven
geancc. As result, these mammoth
tanks are filled with many tons of mud
and the process of cleansing the liquid
has proved too laborious. But the
government manages to turn these
washings &om the hills to some ac-
count for feriilizing purposes. 1t is
found that they arc rich in manurial
properties. and the SO called agricultu-
risls pay we'll for n few loads each.
Last year am told "a 900 was earned
in this way.-Cor. Chicago Inter OccGn.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
The Commander -in-Chief of
the g. A. R.
GEN. JOHN K"UNIz. OF TOLEDO. o

The Grand Army of the Republic at
its late reunion held in minneapolis,
Nj iun., on the sixth ballot elected Gen.
John k"unlz, OF Toledo, o., its Com
niander inChief for the ensuing year.
Gen KuuntZ succeeds Commander
Beath, ami is the youngest official head
of the q. n IL. ever elected by that
organization.
Gen. kouutz is an Ohio man 10y birth
and residence, having been born in
Lucas county, March -, 1916. In lS62
upon the organization of the Thirty
seventh Ohio Volunteers he enlisted
in that regiment as Il drummer boy
and bravely conducted himself in u
number of heavy battles. His regi-
ment was in the charge upon the
heights of Missionary Eidge when !,
friend of young Kountz fell at his side,
killed. The drummer boy threw away
his drum, seized the mualtet and sun
pri-ed his comrades by an activity and
bravery in that bloody struggle that
would have done credit to the most
fearless soldier. Near the close of the
engagement he fell. so severely wound
ell in the leg that amputation became
necessary.
A After the close of the rebellion, he
returned home, nm 0rphaii, with only
sister to greet his coming. In time
his sterling qualities as ii business man
attraclei public admiration. and the
voters of his native county hOn0red
him with its Treasurer ship for two
years and for Il like period he was
Commissioner of Records He then
entered the Insurance business and j.
now the proprietor of large and sue
cessful agency in Toledo.
| Ever since the organization of the
G.. a. Il. in 1875, Mr.. Kountz has beer
identified with it in an aciiv. capacity
Beginning with the Adjutancy of hi,
| Post he was then advanced to ita Com
membership, then successivcly to th'
Assistant QIartrrmaster-G General an1
Communicating of the Department %
Ohio, and lastly TO the highest hOuol
In the q. A. II the Commander in
Chief of the order for the United
States.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
Garland'S Ball.

Tho "long ago" country school only
lives in "fond recollection. The log
house has tumbled down. and the buzz
of the saw mill is heard where Young
congressman shouted "fOul ball' and
run on" Old town ball, too, has
fallen into disuse. Base ball may be
scientific. and may admit of moro
dangerous possibilities. but it is not
nearly so broad and liberal rs town
ball. Why, sir, whole neighborhood
could play town ball. Fifty on each
side could find ample accommo iation.
Senator Garland was n great town ball
player. One day he struck an India
rubber with the butt end of hickory
sapling. The belief exists that the ball
is still travelling, though n ball which
recently fell in Alaska may be the
one. One day Garland came to school.
wearing pair of bright. new shoes.
A little fellow-since governor of Ar
kansaw-approached him and said:
"Who made your shoes?"
"They WANT made" Garland re-
piled. "They were bought out OF
town."
A few moments later he struck the
ball. The wonderful click" was at
tributed 10 the shoes that We're not
made. .-ArkansaU Ia'ageler.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
Nip and Tuck.

Tho train was rattling on, rickety
click. rickety click.
IL was in such a hurry to catch the
train l didn't wait to buy ticket, ="
said the New York banker, offering
money.
Yes" replied the conductor. ah-
stractedly, rs he punched the next man 8
ticket, Il notice that good many
New York bankers are in hurry TO
catch the trains nowadays"
"Well, sir, YOU needn't be insolent;
here is the money to pay my fare.
Il know, hut can't take it, sir"
"Ah, see; the company doesn't let
you conductors take money. 'Fraid
you'll steal it. see."
No, sir, there is no company rule
against my taking it"
"rhen why don't you take it?"
'I'm afraid I'd be arrested for re-
cciving stolen property"
The banker looked out of the win
dow at the shady groves. cool, pellucid
streams, while the train went rattlins
on, rickety click, rickety click.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
Women in California.

A young lady friend OF these topics
writes back from California: Il want
to expose fraud. You know the
newspapers have been for years telling
about the great preponderance of men
over women in this section; how many
rich bachelors there are. and how i'm
possible it is for girl to stay anywhere
over twenty-fOur hours without an
offer of marriage. Indeed, one paper
said that every pretty girl held con-
tinual levce, in which suitOrs took
turns. the same rs q barber shop.
Now, have been here six months, and
want to denounce such statements as
false. There are more men here than
women, it is true; but if my judgment
goes for anything. the most Of them
have run away from marital bonds
elsewhere and come out here TO have o
quiet, peaceful time, away from the
pestiferous Sex that has caused their
woes. A woman is of less consequence
here than anywhere in the world. The
Chinese do most of the washing and
housekeeping and work Mt about tho
same wages that girls and women
would find necessary. There is
mighty little marrying and giving in
marriage here. The men don't seem
to be anxious about it. and the girls
are so we'll up to snuff that they won't
encourage q man till they know all
about his former life and make sure he
hasn't a surplus wife or two some
where East On, no; this Is no place
for girl who wants TO marry, and
Pm coming back to Nebraska this
Enll. "-Nebrn.ka State Journal.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21

The greatest whispering gallery"
in the world Is that of the Grand Can
on, Colorado. For years this chasm
has been matter OF surprise to pros
pcctors and miners on account of its
wonderful transmissions of sound, and
it has only been since the advent of the
railroad that any definite idea has been
entertained of the great distance it
travels within its walls. A train of
cars crossing the bridge at the Needles
can be plainly heard on a quiet day at
Cottonwood Island, distance of
eighty-four miles. The 'fe and drum
at Fort Mojave is distinctly heard ut
Bulls Head. u distance of eighty-four
miles. The report of the sunrise gun
al Fort Mojave can be heard at FL Do
RADIO Canon, distance Of ninety-six
miles,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21

The BEST SALVE in the world for
fever sores, letter, chapped hands, chill
bsains, corns, aud all skin eruptions,
and positively cures piles, 1t is guar
antaed to give perfect satisfaction, or
money refunded. Price 25 cents per
nnx For sale by Il. II. Reed. Ravcnn:,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
The Cigarette.

1t is said that the cigarette Is COM
paratively new in its popularity, and
that prior TO 1876, the centennial year,
it was very little affected by the Amer
lean smoker. Since then its consump.
ton has increased wonderfully. In
1875 the number of cigarettes manu-
factured in the United States were
5000, OO0-an increase of 800 per cent
over the amount manufactured in any
previous year. Last year the number
manufactured exceeded $50, 600, ,OO0.
OF this number 100000 were ex-
ported. and the remainder consumed
In this country. The revenue derived
by the government from this source
was 81, 2j0. 600. 0.-RichnaOnd State.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21

One of the busiest men in St Joseph,
Mo-. is Richard A Proctor the astrono-
mer. He makes it practice to arise
early with his boys, and take Il morn
ing walk of five or six miles over the
hills. This he repeats in the cool of
the evening. The balance of the day
he writes necessarily. and besides fur
nishing the editorials for his London
paper, Rso~ledge. he writes tor two
New York papers,
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
Arscnc Houssayc has n mania f,

Arscnc Houssayc has mania for
building chatcaus. He now has seven
at Bonujon and is building an eighth.
The seven wore named respectively tho
houses OF youth. Love" "Knowl-
edge, " Family" "Renown, Wealth"
and "Wisdom. The eighth which he
is now building, is the house of
death, and will be the mausoleum
in which its authors dust will be
placed.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21

The Adrian (Mich.) Times says:
professor Douglas. of the State Uni
versity. it is said, produces amateur cy-
clones at will. lie does it by suspend
ing large copper plate by silken
cords. This plnte is charged heavily
with electricity. which hangs down like
bag underneath. and Is rendered WIS.,
iblc by the use of arsenious acid gas,
which gives it green color. The for
nation is u miniature cyclone, as per-
feet rs any started in the clouds. 1t
is funnel-shapcd, and whirls around
rapidly. Passing this plate over =
table. the 5-cent cyclone snatchcs up
copper cents. pens, pith balls and other
objects and scatterS them on all sides. !"
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21
SMUGGTER. sTR,.
SEASON OF 1884 Ar T. Ii BEANS SrABL f
RANENNA. ONO.

SEASON OF 1884 AT l.. Ii BEA ) SrAEL T.
KANENNA. ONO.
SNUGGLEn JR VIZ. foalel March 25th, 1879,
He is II h. autiiul bright bay black legs, mhnc
and tail and weighs 1lttr pounds lie is horS"
OF ,pluEdid stN L. and aCiInn being closely re-
lated to SMUGGi.ER record = l5ia the champion
trotting stallion at III" world.
PEDIaREE: :-SMItJGI ER IR was hrri hy the
late Noah N"jor> ct Independence Kansas. and
whs sired hv Young Rlancn. he hy Hlanco ithe
sire III Smugxl"r. rccnrl ,: :i5i, ,, he hy Irons
t'atmus he by American Eclipse Smu. elcr
Jr's dam was sired IL, t'rrrn'S i;.t>haW. OF Mus
catinc Iowa For cAtcnird peiisrce of Green's
B.shaw see TrnltInx .iuh % America. Dam
of nXsBanru ii Rlack ltaWk Morgan mHrr,
owned by IL -. Rubh, rmtn. of i'GsOto, Kansas
Smuggla Jr. can be se'-H At my stables, ore
mile east OF RaNeun;t Court House, any lay tlu-
ring the season, ronmrncihS April !hth, aud
ending sep 81, ,lSNi
Terms, SHn to insure
Care " i'll be taken to prevent accidents nr
mishapS, but / VIII not be lC>Pon ihie inr any
that may occur.
Ciuoi l,nsturagc furnished m1rGs from a dis
tance at mode rate rates
Persons wishing Ia raise Americas best horse
stock, viz TIL" general purpose horse, are in
vited to call and examine SmIp%irr .ir and
see some ui his colts II fore h'stowing paI rom
a. 90 elsewhere. For further Information, call
on ar address i. H. hEAN,
$40 RAYENNA, ONO.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-08-21

Bertha Gear. the Philadelphia git'l
who was divorced from the 'liV.ng
skeleton" soon after marrying him.
didu't know when she was we'll OFT. He
died the other day and left q fortune
OF $40, 900.