The Bossier banner., 1884-10-02
How a Woman Takes a Train.

Few married women who live in the
country ten or twenty miles from the
city in which their husbands have busi-
ness ever take the railroad train to the
city which they mean to take. 1t
makes no difference whether they live
fivesminutes' walk from the depot or
twenty, the time they arrive at the
depot averages as nearly as possible
three minutes after the train has left.
OF course they are on time for the next
train which will leave in half an hour.
Why woman is always late in taking
a train is inexplicable. A ticket agent
who lived with his family right over
the depot once observed that his wife
never took the train she expected to
take. When her train arrived she gem
orally had one, boot on and was looking
out of the window, with one eye on the
train and the other eye looking for her
second boot. A married man, when he
first goes to reside in the country, gen
orally misses from six to dozen trains
in the first few months by waiting in
the morning for his wife to take the
train with him tothe city. After this
he pays no more attention when his
wife says she will go in the train with
him than on her informing him when
the church strawberry festival is to
come of. He knows the strawberry
festival is bound to come of, some
time, and he knows his wife will goI to
the city, but she will not go ON the train
with him, orion the one she expects to
go on.
If YOU reside ten minutes walk from
the depot your wife, after keeping you
waiting at the house until five minutes
before the train leaves, will inform YOU
she is ready; and when you tell her it
is impossible to catch that train and
you must take the next one, she will
inform you that she has walked to the
depot in five minutes dozen times
You know you can not do it Abeut
ten minutes before the next train leaves
you set out with your wife for the de-
pot, Before you have gone thirty
yards she returns to the house for her
pocket book, and to tell Jane not to let
the baby fall down the back stoop, and
that she will be back on the 4:30 train.
| Your wife, having used up about two
minutes of the ten in running back, al
though she can walk to the depot in
five minutes, asks, when you are half
way to the depot, if you want to walk
the clothes off her back, and at the same
time informs You she never felt so hot
in her life, and that you have plenty of
time and your watch must be wrong;
and that the train is always late, and
when you reply that it is always on
| time she wants to know how about two
years ago last january, when you had
to wait an hour for that train. She re-
fers TO the day of the big snow storm,
when all the trains were late, and tries
| to play it off on you in June, with the
! thermometer at eighty-fve in the shade.
The lady who resides in the country
goes through the same operation in re-
turning from the city. She expects to
husbands usual train-and misses il
Apon herown calculation by one minute
"a woman always misses a train bg
one minute-but when she looks at tht
railroad clock she finds that it is the
8 O'Clock train she has missed instead
of the 4:30, and bv the railroad clock
she has missed that train by five min
utes She is on hand for the $50 train
however. The twenty-five minutes sht
has to remain in the depot she spends
in talking with any of her lady friendl
she happens to meet who have don'
Just as She did, and informs them sh,
don't believe the railroad clock is right
and it must be too fast, for when sht
was in Macy's waiting for her chang'
it was only o'clock, and she onll
stopped twice coming down from there
She then produces her watch to SHOW
that the railroad clock is ten minute
too fast; then she walks up to the ticke
receigerand inquiries whetherhe doesn'
think the railroad clock is too fast; h
guesses not; then she informs the ticke
laker she is certain it is, and shows he
watch, and he says ''May be- Whel
she finally arrives at home she explain
to the whole family how she missed til
4:30 train, and a stranger would sup
pose it was the first train she had eve
missed in her hfe.-M T. Commercial
AdCertiser.