Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-04-11

VOL, XII.
Tribune TWINKLEs.
ANNA DICKINSON has just celebrated her -th
birthday.
A FAST horse in Kentucky is named "Two-
Bits" OF course he is quarter horse.
New JERSEY girls amuse themselves by play
inc lean frog, They also amuse the lockers on.
IT is said that Logan understands Greek. He
is now assiduously studying English and hopes
to master it in time.
A TEXAS minister has left the pulpit to go to
the legislature, but this is not looked upon as
much of fall in that state.
ENrERpR1sK and progress hold the boards in
Colorado. Ex Senator Tabor has ordered new
ruffles for his distinguished night-shirt.
Four Springfield. Ohio boys ran off Sunday
to hunt Indians and have not been seen since'
The war department has been notified.
A TERRITORIAL exchange says: There WILL oe
a hustle about this office in few days. has
Dakota secured female editor at last?
PORTRAITS of the late Duke of Albany show
that he parted his hair in the middle. This WILL
90 far toward assuaging the grief of this coun-
try.
SINCE the Lasker trouble, several fashionable
clubs in New York refuse to dance the German
The affair is proving blessing to this country
after all.
A CHICAGO man has just died of humor on
the lungs. He was probably rash enough to
wear a copy of Carl Pretzeps Weekly for
lung pad.
MARATHON INDEPENDENT: A new book is en-
titled "What Can Woman Do?" An answer TO
the question can be found by asking most any
baldheaded man.
Has painted pictures on a manly breast;
Full many a can of deadly kerosene
Has blowed a servant to eternal rest.
New York Journal.
OsmAN D1asA is telling his followers that he
nossesses the power of rendering English bullets
harmless. He does it by avoiding the locality
which they frequent.
ANEwsPApER writer asks why it is that con-
oressmen all wear tired look. They are probably
worn out with the load of responsibility which
they are obliged to carry.
HAwKEY1: "No Laura; no. They do not
open the campaign with can opener Iney
do it with corkscrew. How, little, alas, DO
women know about politics"
VIRGINIA girl married tramp who turned
out to be an English duke in disguise. Inc
moor 1irl is almost heart broken aud has the
sympathy of every one in her af1iction.
SAMUEL J. TnDEN was seen buying box OF
corn plasters last Monday. Is Wattersons 8
glowing picture Of his rosy health then but
campaign lie? Out upon such base trickery!
DEAR Harry jumped at my suggestion,
That we to matrimony drop;
Itook last night to pop the question:
I'll take tonight to question pop
Salem Sunbeam.
ELLA DANGER is the belle OF "lsconhln
town, and thai very town is boastlng over the
possession of the bravest young men IN tne
universe. Every one of them is anxious ana
eager to court Danger.
There is a sweet soldier named Sherman,
Whom each kissing maiden calls Ter man;
For his old heart is soft,
And he osculates oft,
With the sWiftuess and skill OF q derrmanu'
New York Journal.
An old colored woman who has just died
claimed that sle used to sit in George Washing
tens Lap. How fortunate for Georges reputa-
tion for truthfulness that no one ever 4ues-
TONED him about such things as this.
Col. GEORGE L. PERKINS, of Norwich, Conn.,,
who is ninety-slx years old, said in recent in
terviey: 81 have buried six family physicians,
and still live." Perhaps the old fox took an
Unfair advantage of them and didn't take their
medicines.
A Boston paper tells Of an unhung villain
who caught two cats, tied them by the tails, and
flung them into the cellar of church. They
kept pretty quiet until about the middle OF the
sermon, when they began to complain, and the
pastor sternly remarked, "Will the choir
please wait until it's services are 1equired?"
THESE girls are all wicked show
For mans delusion given,
Their smiles of joy and tears of woe,
Deceitful shine, deceitful flow,
Not one ia true in seven.