River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1884-08-14
BILL NYE AND THOMAS.

u -
The Humorest at Concert he Describes
the Effect of an Unannounced Bolt OF
Jove.
Bill Nye writes in the New York
Mercury: Last week we went up to the
Coliseum at Minneapolis to hear Theo-
dore Thomas orchestra, the Wagner
trio and Christine Nilsson. The Coils
cum is a large rink Just outside OF
Minneapolis, on the road between that
city and ST. Paul. 1t can seat 1000
people comfortably, but the manage
ment likes to wedge 4, 500 people In
there on warm day, and then watch
the perspiration trickle out through the
clapboards on the outside. On the clos
ing afternoon, during the matinee per-
Torrance, the building was struck by
lightning and hole knocked out of
the Corinthian duplex that surmounts
the oblique portcullis on the of side
The reader will see at once the To-
cation of the bolt, The lightning
struck the flagstaff, ran down the
leg of man who was repairing
the electric light, took chew of his to-
bacco, turned hir boot wrong side out
and induced him to change his sock,
toyed with chilblain, wrenchsd out a
soft corn and roguishly put it in his ear,
and then ran down the electric light
wire, apart of it filling an engagement
in the Coliseum and the balance follow
ing the wire to the depot, where it made
double-pointed toothpicks of the pole
fifty feet high. All this was done very
briefly. Those who have seen lightning
frx f6SS lr,1 ly,, 41ok
this fluid makes speciality of it at
once and in brief manner. The light
ening in this case broke the glass in the
skylight and deposited the broken
fragments ON half dozen parquet chairs
that were empty because the specta.
tors who owned them couldn't get but
$50 apiece, and were waiting for man
to mortgage his residence and sell a
team. He couldn't make transfer In
time for the matinee, so the seats were
vacant when the lightning struck. The
immediate and previous fluid then shot
athwart the auditorium in the direction
of the platform, where it nearly fright
ened to death large chorus of children.
Women tainted, ticket spectators fell
81 on desirable seats, and strong
men coughed up Glove. The
scene beggared description. 1 intended
to have said that before, but forgot it.
Theodore Thomas drew in full breath,
and Christine Nilsson drew her salary.
Two thousand strong men thought of
their wasted lives, and two thousand
women felt for their back Lair to see if
if it was still there. / say, therefore.
without successful contradiction, that
the scene beggarded description.
In the evening several people sang
"The Creation" Nelson was Gabriel.
Gabriel has beautiful voice, cut low
in the neck, and sings like a JOYOUS
bobolink in the dew saturated mead.
Hows that? Nilsson is proud and
naughty in her demeanor, and had
good notion to send note up to her
saying that she needn't feel so lofty, and
if she could sit up in the peanut gallery
where was, and look at herself with
her dress kind of sawed off at the top,
she would not be so vain. She wore
diamond necklace and silk skirt. The
skirt was cut princess, | think, to har-
monte with her salary. AS an old neigh
Dor of mine once said when he painted
the top board of his fence green, he
wanted it ''to kind of corroborate with
his blinds" He's the same man who
went to Washington about the time of
the Guiteau trial and said he was pres
ent at the post mortise" examination.
But the funniest thing of all, he said,
was to see DIR. Mary Walker riding one
of those philosophers" around on the
streets.
But am wandering. Wewere speak
ing of the festival. Theodore Thomas
is certainly a great leader. What a
pity he is out of politics. He pounded
the air all up fine there Thursday. l
think he had twenty-five small sized fid
dies, ten medium sized, and five of these
big fat ones, that bald headed man
generally annoys. Then there was lot
of wind instruments, drums, etc. There
were six hundred performers on the
stage counting the chorus, with 1850
people in the house. and 5000 outside
yelling at the ticket office-also at the
top of their voices-and swearing be-
cause they couldn't mortgage their i'm
mortal souls and hear Missions coin
silver notes. 1t was frightful. The
building settled twelve inches in those
two hours and half, the electric lights
went out nine times for refreshments,
and on the whole the entertainment was
a grand success. The first time the
lights adjourned an usher came in on
the stage through side entrance with
q kerosene lamp. / guess he would
have stood there and held it for Nilsson
to sing by if 4, 500 people hadn't with
one voice laughed him out into the star
loco rinbf Won might &c we'll have
tried to light benighted Africa with a
white bean. shall never forget how
proud and buoyant he looked as he sal
lied in with that kerosene lamp with
soiled chimney on it, and how hurt and
grieved he seemed when he took it and
CROPPED his way out, while the Coliseum
trembled with "ill-concealed merri-
ment. / use the term ''ill-concealed
merriment" with permission of the pro-
prietors, for this season only.