The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-09-17
Settled by Wire.


firm on Montague street and consulted
MIR. F., the junior partner, as to how
she should act in difficulty. She had
rented part of her house to Mr.. W., who
had cleared out, owing her $500 for
rent. He had removed with the inten-
ton OF going to Bridgeport, and his
furniture was on the way to the boat,
which was to leave shortly for the Con-
necticut town. Mr. p. Immediately
prepared the necessary papers and got
an attachment. A clerk was dis
patched to n Jew York with directions to
put the attachment in the hands of the
Sheriff at once and to search the river
front for the furniture. The lady de-
parted, and Mr.. p. awaited develop
ments. An hour later Mr.. w. entered
the lawyers Office. He wore a nom
chalant air. He carried his hands in
his pockets and cigar in his mouth
~ understand" said he to Mr.. p,
''that you are trying to seize my prop
erty."
You are the man, suppose" Mr..
P. answered, "who hired Mrs. Blanks
house and quilted without paying the
rent, and are removing your furniture
to Connecticut"
"That's about the size of it, Mr.. w.
said, land l thought would just step
in and ask whether you had got my
property yet'" Then he laughed gaily,
as one who had made a pleasant joke.
At that moment there came a ring at
the telephone. Mr.. P. jumped up and
responded with the usual Hello"
who's that?" came back. Up ;"
was the answer, Mr.. P. recognizing the
voice of his clerk who had gone over the
river with the attachment.
We've hunted everywhere" came
through the telephone, land can't find
the furniture.
Mr.. p. turned to Mr.. W. and said:
"What are you going to do about itP"
I'm the first place. Mr.. W. replied,
II want to know whether you've got
my furniture-ha, ha!'
Tell the Sheriff." said Mr., p, with
his lips to the telephone, "to take the
furniture off the boat and put it in a
storehouse.
"Hold, there" Mr.. W. exclaimed,
his tone of jubilant banter changed to
one of genuine alarm; ~ don't want
The furniture taken off the boat
well, what shall we do?h Mr.. P.
said; "you hear my orders?'
The telephone bell rang violently
Mr.. p. put his ear to the funnel and
heard these words delivered with great
distinctness and emphasis: "I-tell-yo
we haven't got-the-furniture-we-can' t
find-it."
II don't care if the sheriff. fees ar,
$780," Mr.. P. shouted in return through
the instrument; 1.-The defendant has t,
foot the bill. Store the furniture a
once"
Look here, Mr.. p" the defendan
said in tone of supplication, "what'
the best | can do?'
The bell rang again furiously. Nh
p. put his ear to the tube and tn
speaker said in tones which Mr.. p. recoe
nized as those of clerk in the sheriff
office BLANK, blank you, what d.
you mean9 Are you crazyP Don't you
hear? We haven't got the bank, blanl
furniture, and we don't know where il
is"
Just So" replied Mr.. P. "Do the
best you can, and damage it as little as
possible. The defendant will have tc
stand the expenses"
Now don't be severe" Mr.. w. said
almost in despair; "tell me what yor
demand"
"Pay the full amount DUE" replied
Mr.. p, land we'll throw off the cost
and expenses"
The bell rang again with louder tone
than before. Mr.. P. listened. TIL
voice that last answered said: "I'll b.
blank blanked If l ever came acros
such stupidity Hold on and I'll spell
i out to you"
And then carefully, letter by letter
the voice spelled out: 1--WE haven
been able to find the furniture.
The defendant by this time had 90
out his pocket book and was countin,
out the bills. When he had paid tn
$500 Mr.. P, went to the telephone ant
called up the sheriff's Office once more
Now then, stupid, what's the mat
ter?" was the reply. "Give the sheril
directions to let the furniture 60" MI
P. said.
Then he sat down and wrote a re
ceipt. The bell went off again Xix
mad. MIR. P. cody placed his mout
to the telephone and said: "Say, tel
the sheriff to let the furniture 60 an
send on his bill for his fees"
Then Mr.. p, with smile on his face
listened for reply. BLANK blanl
you, you thick-headed ass" came owe
the wires into Mr.. P. s ear, 1--WE haven
got the property"
Then MIR. W. quilted the office. MI
P. rang up the sheriff's, and receive
complimentary reply. Then it wa
Mr.. P.'s turn. while you were be
lowing over the wires" he said, 18th
defendant was by my side, and l had t
make the proper answers to bring hr
to terms. Anything stupid or like a
ass in thatP Send over your bill, tn