The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-01-12

EV HltA HeF tningS IN their wagon, cause
Hammer is folks didn't hav no wagon but q
stun drag, an she didn't calc,late to go to no
Fourth o July picnic on stun drag So the
Major starts fur McGarrF,s with the basket
on one arm an his gun over t'other shoulder
But mebbe I'm q cuttin' in q little on your
tellin' o. the story, Major. p said the Squire,
with another wink at the Sheriff.
NOh, not durn Bit, b'gosh!n exclaimed the
Old Settler; aonly, If he'd the manners ez
some folks Is got, AM didn't make no more
bones showin' of 'eln, I wouldn't take it no
ways singular, b'goshtlmightly, if got my
consarned head broke some dayl Eff I want
my mem'ry logged I'll asst to hev it logged,
kin do it straight; an consequently, Squire,
wont bother you to do it! Boys, started
to tell ye this story, an I'm gointer tell it eff
it takes all night. The picnic were gointer
to be on the Fourth Of July, 1889, an on the
Sd of July starts with basket o. yictuals to
leave it at McGarry's, who were gointer cart
it an Han to the groun's 'Twant six mile, an
twant three, but 'twere fur 'nough Fore I
started up an asst Han right out if she'd tie
TO me, an she says to me tht she'd gimme my
answer at the picnic, an she gimme to un'er-
stan, bgosh, hit it'd be yesl So trapsed
through the woods feelin' durn good I
stopped at spring to get drink when I
We're half way to McGarry's, an in doin,
that sot my gun down quite distance from
the spring. Jis' ez | were drinkin' what
should see comm through the woods on
dead run and plump at me but durn big
bar couldn't git my gun, but any other
time I'D jis' buckled in and had bully ras-
sci with the bar. Thinks, says I, I'll be a
durn nice lookin' thing going to picnic all
clawed up by bar, to meet the girl ez is
gointer say yes, and marry mel So made
fur hole I see in ledge ez laid in back
thar, an dropped inter it in double quick, an
pulled good sized stick ez lay at the openin'
right across the hole, an had myself barred
in. The basket were strapped to me. The
bar came sniffin' about, but couldn't git his
nose In, even. l thought the bar would
kinder hang 'roun' fur little while an then
make off, an then I'd come out an mosey on
to McGarry'sp
Major" said the Squire, ''you furgot
sumpin'. You furgot to speak about that
leetle menagerie O your'n that ye had then
the coon. an the fox, an the two bars, the
latter bein 50 tame that they'd Ioller ye all
over, If you'd let 'en.n
THAT yarn about them two tame bars is
all consarned lie, b'gosht'lmightyln ex-
cisallneu Cne OIu SeCCler, Spr1ng1ng to his feet
and swinging his cane. ''It were all started
by that consarned Pete Golip, an you know
it! You know durn well that he started that
story to bust me up with Han, an he did bust
me up, fur she went an married little Peleg
Potter, bgosh, an arter she'd planted him
give Pete the cut agin an married Sol Gable.
Then when Sol were gathered in she throwed
Pete over fur Lige Crimfint, an now, arter
Llge has been called across the river for
twenty years, an she is nigh onter 65
II she's day, she's willin' to
take up with Pete, an he's got no more
gizzard than to take up. with her. She's
toP ye she wouldn't marry the bes man liv-
in, did she's Wull, she amt gointer, not
by durn sight. She's gointer tie to the
or'nariest no-account cuss that ever hunted a
coon, bgosht'lmighty!''
And the old settler shook his cane at the
Squire and took his leave with more than
usual abruptness.
The trouble is with the Major said tho
Squire, as the boys adjourned for refresh.
ments, she don't like to hear folks throw up
to him that he was holed up for threedays by
his tame bar, which was only follerin' him
and waitin' fur him to come out The Major
had to eat the basket O. vituals an missed the
picnic, an o. course the boys got hold on it,
an wouldn't let up on him. Hammer G. never
give him yes for an answer, an notice he's
mite tetchy about it yetn