Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-12-06

Cattle. a writer says, are maliclously destroyed in India by wOunding then witb n spike nodded from the seeds oi inc ArbnS prccatOniS. Death ensues on ,be second day, but the powdered seeds have little or no bad effect when taken internally.
 Two dudes talk: "Aw. Cholly, I seq theah is going to be some change in twousahs this spwing." some what Gus?" ..Some change, don't you know" Nav, you don't say? Well. I'm dahn glad of it. foh ba Jawye. theah's been so little in mine foh thwee months, that weally l wouldnf know twade dollah from . silvah in dividual buttah plate, don't you know"
 The officer who opens the court is called the ''crier" On ons occasion the said officer had lost his wife, who had led him an uncomfortable life, and he was, of course, absent from his post. When the court came in the judge. as usual, said: "Mr. Crier, open the court" A young and facetious lawyer addressed the Court as follows: ''May it please your Honor, Mir. B. can not cry to-day; he has lost his wife. "
 At a Boston seance a disconsolate widower succeeded in establishing communication with his wife, who had passed into the spirit land from the Hub, of whose esthetic circles she had been a member. The man inquired if she was happy, and if she liked her new surroundings, to which she re- piled: Well. dear, it is very charm ing and lovely and all that, but of course you know. dear, it isn't Boston.
 Mrs. B. was speaking of Mrs. Us. rainy-day attire as combination .'polonaise and waterproof cloak. when little Bijah wanted 10 know if her ''apolonaris waterproof cloak was made of glass?n Made of glassl ''Why, what do you mean. child?' .0h." replied Bijah. you always speak of Mrs. J. as that meek little bottled up woman,' and l thought that -" His thoughts on the subject were diverted by a box on the ear.
 A young man who believes in self improvement, having recently married. suggested to his wife that they should argue some questions frankly and fully every morning. in order 10 learn more of each other. The first question happened to be Whether a woman could be expected to get along without a hat" and he took the affirmative, and when he was last seen he had climbed up into the hay-loft and was pulling the ladder after hiTa.-AubuTH NeiOS aud Bulletin.
 "0h, mamma" cried out fve-year- old who had bis nose ilatiened against the car window. 'did you see that shop back there we just passed?" ''No, dear, what was it?' ''Why, mamma, 1 looked in the door and there was q man with a hammer and a nail in his hand, and he had poor horses leg up in his lap and was pounding on it." That was blacksmith shop, dear" But, mamma" queried the youngster after a thoughtful pause. ''is that the place where they build new horses?"
 Young Chick-Mamma. why do you scratch with one foot and then with the other, and don't look down until you get through? Old hen Drought up in Boston, n)-Because. my dear offspring. if 1 were to excavate the soil with both my pedal extremities simultaneously, and direct my organs of vision on the ground at the same time, l would lose my equilibrium and present the undig- nified spectacle of balancing myself on my cranium without any visible means of support-New York Journal
 Are you as happy now as you were before you married?h asked Mrs. Yeast of young Mrs. Crimsonbeak. "YeS. in- deed" replied the lady, and q great deal happier" That is strange" suggested the philanthropist's wife. Not at all strange" came from the young married woman. You see, be- fore l was married used to spend half my time worrying about what dress I should wear when Daniel called" ''But don't you try just as hard to look well when your husband returns home at night?" interrupted Mrs. Yeast Well, you see," went on tine bride of two summers, "I don't worry any about il now. as l have only one dress to my name"