Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-04-03
A Crooked World.


itNlts,t from Buriettc's ~..rmon ia the RruoklY
Eagle.
Sometimes it does seem as though thi.
old world had slipped an eccentric and was
only working one side. The wicked man
hourishe> like green bay tree. while his
honest nelghbor gets whip sawed every
deal. The doctor prescribe, qunina for
YOUR chil!s. and the druggi>, puts YOU up
something worthless and cheap for - an
ounce. There are ifty-three authors OF
beautiful Snow, and not one for the
Bread Winners" In Philadelphia one
nmnutlctory makes nothing but century Old
grandfather clocks and furnishes pedl-
grees for The the same 70 the purchaser, I'M
I'll to own a tall, antique clock IS proof posi-
tive that your family began ouiy with your
father In Chicago they make yloilns that
look 100 years Older than the most genuine
S;radlvarIus four weeks after they are made,
that now an ancient, honest looking, de-
crepit violin IS prIma facie evidence Of sla,-
ing and outra 5eous fraud. There is milk in
the water uf commerce and sugar in tin.
sand tnr grocer sells We have rgora
where We used to have chiIs "Oll Sub
scriher IS usually man who borrows the
paper from nelghbor or reads the copy
pasted up on the bulletin board, Constant
Reader" VINO never read ANYTHING in all hls
life save the pictures oA circus poster. and
Tax Payer" is the signature Of tramp. A
Struggling genius writes poem with a soul
OF fire that lives forever ani a day aud dies
in tear, aud loneliness and po,crt, in a hall
bedroom fifth floor hack The Queen writes
book that no living man outside the
Guelph family and the proof reader coul ~
Hfrei - ruaJ t,,1 no "a II 4
owns four dogs and has India -hlwl> ta give
10 ht flood sufferer
50 it is. Man goeta to tn skating rnA
with JOY in his heart and mlrth oG his lips.
and he cometh away with his ba,A 50 flll Of
pine sllsers that tae porcuplne >ayeth unto
him, Thou art my brother. and the hedge
hog crleth after HIM. Behold my IA hrr and
mother"
-orment OF cbilblaInS and frost bites, we
cry, "WouId Heaven It were July" And
when July i come, straightwa. VI arr sun
struck.
There are 5000 known classified and
described species of FISH. And vet a man
can fish in good waters all day lon. and
never one solitary specimen Of the smallest
kind, and hringeth home with him onl, d
two weeks ration of malarial fever Th.
also is vanity.
Garfield was shot to death in the prime OF
a good and useful life. Lincoln was taken
away just when the country least could sparr
him. DE Long laid down his life for sci
ence ere his sun had reached lis meridian.
while the man who can write fortv-ninp
chapters of the Bible on one side of postal
card will probably live to the age Of 93
This doesn't seem right
The girl with soft gray ewes and rippliny
brown hair, who walked all over your poor
fiuttering heart at the charity bali, has lust
finished crazy quilt containing ,s64 pieces
Of neckties and hat Innings, pu. together
with Il 800 stitches. And her poor old
father fastens on his suspenders with long
nail, piece Of twine. sharp stick and one
regularly ordained button. This also is vanity.
Man planteth bed ofpansies in the front
yard, and 10, there cometh up naught, save
q colony Of cut worms only. He goeth forth
into the field and droppeth corn into the
hills, and 40O,O00,00O crows sing as thev
pluck it out of the ground right after him.
he stroileth through the leafy woods, and
his hide Is filled with chiSres. He lolie;h
in the fragrant wiurows of the new mown
hay, and straight away fitch himself with
snake. There are spring guns III ,he or
chard, bull in the pasture, a ram in the
meadow, dog in the yard and three tramps
down the road, so that he hath no rest for
the sole Of his foot and no JOY for his heart
it he moveth out of his own room.
Somebody has got 20 straighten this old
world out, and as they seem to b.. little
slow about it. have made up nv mind that
l will do it myself. Why shonld Wander
biit ride in private car, when sometimes it
Is hard grubbing for an honest journalist to
secure trip pass Why should ex-senator
Tabor. the magnificent, pay out more money
for night shirts than home missionary can
afford for carpets? Go TO. II something il
not done speedily, Of a verify will Join the
Communists and become an agi,ator and
live without working. Next to being cap
italist, il il most profitable to he an agisator.