The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-11-22


 Dsumley boued ever . dish ol surnip greens and asked the Lord te mahe thsm all thanksui for his many blessings. The children began to howl for bread, but the good old brother, thinking that some return vas due the host continued his petition into personalities, asking special blessing for the charming young lady, Miss Pauline. When he straight eDed up, he leaned back. Over he vent. His feet struck the under side of the table, and, not knowing the cause of his sudden back-set he seized the table in hts fall Then the whole thing came over on . mass of bowling children and angry women. @I never seed the like" said an old lady, in attempting to descrbe the catastrophe. @Thar vas lot of us on the floor, all kivered with pine boards and viddul,s. l managed to look up, and there was Sallie Parker with a dish of gravy on her head. Aneeline Ray had her lap full of cassaee, an all the other folks whut sot on one side of the table was tangled up in greens and stews of all kinds. old Brother Drum- ley swore like deck hand, the pore old creatur. but he couldn't help it. Law me, all the women folks got mad and the men folks cussed till you never heard the like. l did feel sorry fur Brother Eph Moore. The coffee pot lit on him some whar and the lid come cG never seed sich scramblin' in my life. He managed to git out somehow, and the Lor' how he did make break for the woods. It was a mighty unfortunate affair, fur everything it were sot of so nice at fuss an Sister Midland she were so proud, but law a massy, whut a muss was made. Old Brother Drumley uamped on the ham when he got up an swore an be dinged if he didn't go whar he could sit down in peace. Nobody staid to dinner, bless you. There were too much mad ness for any appetite to be lefs, fur the gals had come dressed in their best. How sorry did feel for pore Sister Nit land. The pore ereatur' cried till we wus all gone. Every time anybody tried to smooth it over, the wus they made it. | never seed the like before and hope to never see it agin. Pore Sister Mitland."
 
 AN Arkansa~ horse thief stole one thou sand horses and has six wives living. This that are offered to the eastern young man ts go west and grow up with the country.-l Bro kiya 7in<s
 How truthful even newspaper men can become. Yes, he sole one thousand horses. Had not the season been 90 he would have secured a, least fifteen hundred. The continuous rains, too, affected his business, for at | times when he should have been out can- he was forced, in accordance | with advice from physicians, to remain in l doors. Many a mans powers have been dwarfed by circumstances cart loads of ability have been crippled by an untimely | rain or an early frost. At last this able | was arrested. He was ar raigned before an easy going court, and to explain himself A pro- |ound hush and sprinkling of plaster ing fell upon the vast audience. Before he prisoner could reply, some one Judge, that feller's got six wives I" "Whatp exclaimed the judge, six wives! Oh, thou fool. Get out of my sight. A man who has SO little sense as to marry six wives should not expect ustice. Get out and wander among the aills of desolation. Go."