Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-11-05
PLEASANTRlES.

a. 10 oo1N o. COASbduIlJ Wu1Sb11uE mdn
is one who thinks little. But he makes
others think; and OIL what fearful
thoughts they think!
"YoU may speak," said fond mother,
about people having strength of mind,
but when 1t comes to strength of don't
mind my son William surpasses every
body I ever knew. > Bloomington Eye.
"Ma," whispered Pindar Fitzgoober,
after the funeral of friend, "Do you
know where he went?" Hush, child"
cautioned the mother, who saw that the
question had been overheard, "of course
[ don't, and no one else does" do"
yelled the boy, brightly, she went to
the cemetery"
AN exchange contains an article en-
titled Glow to Breathe" We did not
suppose that there was so much igno-
rance in the world. When man
doesn't know how to breathe the best
health resort for him is lot in the
cemetery. He would spoil if kept many
days above ground.
A BANKER, who is in company with
his son, receives ten thousand francs
from debtor and sets to counting the
bills. Zone, two, three, FOUR" he says,
AID goes on counting up to nine, when
he stops, rolls up the notes and whispers
to his son: "Never turn up the last
bill when you are counting money;
there may be another under -
French.
"Do they have housekeeping days
in Heaven, ma ?" q little Somerville girl
inquired the other day. "Why, certain
ly not, dear; what put that into your
head?" Because the angels sweep,
don't they?" "What gave you such
notion as that?" "Pa did. He said
you were spectacle in Mother Hub
bard that would make the angels sweep"
= Louisville Journal.
THERE was a new waiter at a South
ern hotel, and there was wealthy gen
tlemen from Dallas stopping there.
.''Why don't you put the toothpicks on
the tablet" asked the Dallas man on the
second day. "Bekase, after you used
de toofpick yesterday, you didn't put it
back in de sarcer," was the reply of the
faithful African, who was trying to save
money for the hotel New Orleans
Picayune.
AN Austin colored man, with pro-
truding eyes, rushed into Justice Teg-
ener's Office and exclaimed: ST waits
Cal Jones, who Ibis next door to me,
put under a million dollars bond ter
keep de peace" elias he threatened
your ife?' 'sHe has done dat berry
ting. He said he war gwine to fill de
l. L. 10. IL -
henhouse plumb full O buckshot. "
: Texas Siftings.
Mr.. WILLIAM e. TRAvERs of Wall
Street and friend were standing near
Bowling Green a night or two ago,
when the latter remarked: cit strikes
me that the electric lights are more
brilliant down here than farther up
town." "Y-yes," replied Mr.. Travers:
"a s-s-strorger p-pressure, you KNOW"
"Why should the pressure be stronger
here than elsewhere "B-because it's
n-n-nearer the B-b-battery."
Mrs. SMITH was calling on Mrs.
Brown when a sudden storm came up.
81 declare" said Mrs. Smith, 'it's too
provoking. haven't any rubbers with
me, and my shoes are very thin" 81 can
lend you thick paif of my own, if you
think you can wear them," suggested
Mrs. Brown. 80, thanks you're very
kind. believe I will avail myself of
your offer. don't think they will be
much too large" p Christian at Work.
"PERHAps you would like to walk
into the library and examine my paint
ings," suggested an art enthusiast to
his guest, an ex-governor of neighbor-
ing sts6e, now deceased. ct thank you;
am extremely fond of fine paintings"
said the governor. "This, over the
mantel, said. the host, after several gems
had been examined and admired, KS the
work which I value most. I purchased
it in Florence during my stay abroad,
and I am almost ashamed to tell what
paid for it. You, of course, recognize
the subiect-a beautiful copy of the
Sistine Madonna" ooh! an! yes" said
the governor. at is certainly very
beautiful-very fine. Does it-ah-
does it represent Boston lady ?"-
Boston Globe.