Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1884-07-04
YOUNG WALKER BLAINE.
He Says He viii Support Blaine
and Logan.
HIS IDEA OF MATTERS AND THINGS
The Young Man From Maine All, Thinks
All, II Is Too Bad All, OF Puck
All, to Caricature PA"

Walker Blaine. late ex-Assistant Secretary
of State, and son of James G. Blaine, who
has been heard of occasionally as candl-
date for Office, was in the city, and a
REGISTER commissioner started out to find
him. Jake Kemple was not in the city,
consequently the REGISTER man went alone
The rumor proved to be without founda-
ton, but the idea of interviewing Mr.. Blaine
was not to be abandoned. Accordingly, the
following dispatch was sent to Deer Park,
where the young man is recuperating from
a several mental strain:
Walker Blaine:
DEER PARK, MD.-Will you support
Blaine and Logan or bolt the ticket
What is your opinion of guano? Are Lit,
tie Rock bonds at par? Can you give us
the address of one Mulligan? What is your
definition of Jingo2
To the above the following reply was re-
ceived at late hour.
REGISTER, Wheeling, W. Va.
How you frightened me, ah! l was just
composing myself to sweet and gentle
sleep in new hammock my ma bought for
me before leaving dear Augusta. Dear
Augusta is not a girl. 1t is where me and
pa live when we are out of office. we are
not much acquainted at Augusta. My
hammock is blue and red. Bl.e suits my
complexion, you know. Tk.r9 are some
deliciously handsomely girls here. One OF
them is an English girl, but do not like
her. We, that is me and pa, do not like
the English. FIVE are elected President
we will give the English hell--that is |
would say hell if ! swore. But my pa, my
pa is James G. Blaine, the Plumed Knight,
says he is Presbyterian and they do not
swear in their catechism. This year we
will be Catholic and Presbyterian. think
pa is real nice. am going to vote for
him this fall. l suppose I'll have to vote
for fellow named Logan that me and pa
allowed to 90 on the ticket with us, to catch
the soldier vote Don't say ! told YOU, but
ma don t recognize Mrs. Logan. She isn't
in our set. But after this we will have to
speak to her. Ma is going to send up her
card next fall
The Guano Bird.
Guano is a sea-bird that inhabits an is
land near Chill and Peru. Me and pa know
a great deal about guano. We also know
a good deal about Chill and Peru. We
would have known more, but Garfield died,
and that threw me and pa out of office.
1t was pretty lively for time tho, as it
was. Pals mighty fond of fight, for other
people. He told me the other day tnat if
ever he had chance he would lick Eng
and from Dublin to Toulon. He'll do it,
too if he has to hire a substitute. The
guano is my favorite bird. 1t does not
smell as sweet as my party gloves, but 1t
costs a great deal more.
Railroad Bonds.
Nv pa said | must never say. q word
about railroad bonds in his presence. |
wonder why? He said if | could get hold
of any to just hand them to him without a
word He has some now. heard him tell
ma they had cost him a great deal of mon
ey, and he wished they were in Hades. |
think that would be poor place for them.
Besides, know pa did not pay any money
for them. A dear friend gave them to him
as a reward for service pa did him. Pa
has great many bonds,
Mulligan.
Pa says Mulligan was a bad man. He
gave my pa away after he promised not to,
lie was Just as bad as pa. When me and
pa was Secretary we had nice time. We
we had lots of fun, and Mr.. Garfield ran
over ever day to beg pa to quit making a
row. But,me and pa told him we were run
ming the thing. Pa meant to be boss of that
administration, and it was very unkind in
Mr.. Garfield to die and spoil our plans. Ma
ust cried. She was going to be queen Of
society. Oh. do hope pa will beat those
New York dudes Curtis is nothing but
nasty, mean dude. He wears his trousers
50 tight you can see the moles on his limb.
would talk some more. like to talk, but
| see some girls and promised to be good
to them, so | must 90 and keep them from
dying of ennui When me and pa are
elected come and see US.
Yours,
WALKER BLAINE.
P 81 am going to stop our subscrip-
to Puck, because it is so mean to pa. |
know three or four more who are going 10
stop, We will make them sorry for their
w ID q