The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-15
HUMOR.
re iniurad by education.

DUDES are injured by education.
DOES false pride go before false hair?
A MAN may not be ate, but he can be
drunk. Carl PretsePs Weekly.
IT is said that the Prince of Wales
would like to be an editor. What kind
of a man is he, any way? Isn't he in
debt enough already ?-Teras SJtings.
IT is claimed that Ireland has not
had enough to eat in seven hundred
years. The Irish people must GER
tainly be country newspaper editors
Paris Beacon.
A FIERY, untamed poet, singing Of
milkmaid, says
The lilacs blow TO left TO right.
She sets her milk pail down
She pulls her one, all wet and white,
And puts 1t in her gown.
SECRET.
A secrets thing a woman cant keep:
You read this on page after page:
But tell me, kind friend, oil You ever know this
woman 10 give way her own age!
- Yo'lkeTs Salesman.
PARIS papers announce the arrival Of
q dude in that city. That is, they say
a Young man, whose head both in shape
and color resembles that of calf, has
Just arrived there. -NOrriStoton Her
aid.
TEAcHER-"Now boys, can you tell
me how Jonah was punished for his dis
obedience?" Small Boy Just like /
was Yesterday" Teacher-"How was
that?" Small Boy-"Please, ma'am, L
was whaled. "-Ne,o York Journal.
THERE are 1913. 900 physicians in this
country, and about 1,356,0G0 persons
die every year. This shows that the
average doctor only kills about seven
persons year, though some of them
kill as many as 279 persons without be-
ing overworked. Run for the doctor,
and take your medicine now !-Ne,oman
Independent.
As AN evidence of the healthfulness
of mountain climate the people of Den
yer point to man who came there IN
IT without flesh enough to bait trap,
and now he puts sleeves In an ordi-
nary feather-bed and pulls it on over
his head for shirt. People in poor
health who wish to communicate with
the writer in relation TO the facts above
stated, are requested to inclose two I'M
licked postage stamps to insure reply.
Bill Nye.
JUST TALL ENOUGH.
She took my Colt-Im rather tall,
And she is not so very;
The steps led upward from tie hall;
She stood, the Ii tie fairy.
just balanced on the ,cond stair.
NV great COATS burden holding,
And then her hands-the kindest pair
The collar down were fol iing.
There never was an eve so clear,
Nor lips red in moving,
Just tall enough, now, amt l. dear?-
Just tall enoughl From eye to eye
Ran horizontal light.
Just tall enough to-let me try
Yts, tall enOugh-Good nightl
Two YOUNG women were talking q
few days since. one of whom was
married last fall, and the other was GO
ing TO be married this summer. One
thing 1 would do, ii was in your place,
before the engagement went any
further" said the married one, land
that is TO find out If your intended keeps
shot gun and likes to go shooting"
what has that got TO do with it?'
asked the girl. well. don't marry a
man that keeps dogs and guns, that is
ALL or you will never know whore any
thing is. My husband is real good, but
if Ire wants to clean his shotgun he
will go right into my bureau and take
the first white clothes he finds. He
tore off one leg of one of my under
vests to clean his gun, and the black
powder spoiled it, and only the other
day / found one of my silk stockings
tied around the neck OF his setter dog.
because the dog had sore throat, and
1 wouldn't be surprised any day to sec
| my husband strap my hustle or hoop
skirt on for gamo bag and go off
shooting 0, it is awful. He breaks
his pups TO retrieve with my slippers,
and he used my hat with feathers on,
out on the lawn, to learn pup to come
to point. don't want to marry any
more hunters" The poor girl who was
going to be married has about con-
cluded that there are too many chances
| in matrimony.-Peck's Sum.