The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-12-10
SURPRISING A BORE.
An Uninvited Guest who Could Not Stand
the Horse Play In u Restaurant.


A few nights ago, says The Ne'0 Yorh
SIN, party of six men sat at a corner
table in an uptown restaurant, taking
supper with seventh man, who had
been rendered somewhat conspicuous
among men about town by his sudden
resolve to renounce his former easy
going and luxurious style of living for
the purpose of marrying a 20 ne wo-
man who lived in Brooklyn. The din
ner was about half over when man
drifted in through the lower door of
the cafe and with ilamboyant smile
toward the supper party. He walked
daintly, carried his cane under his
arm, and cigarette in his left hand.
He was dressed in light business suit,
and might be anywhere from 80 to 70
years of age. He had gray mustache,
patchy whiskers, and wore his hair
full over his ears and bald at the top.
This gentleman" said the host,
waving his hand toward the newcomer,
sis the most stupendous bore in New
York. In the course of fifteen years |
have found it impossible to sit down at
meal in cafe or go to decent up
town bar without being bored by this
cheerful imbecle. OF course you all
know him. He will ring in on US
now
He did.
The stranger bowed with great atla-
bility to everybody, including the wait
er, continued to smile etfusively, drag
ged up a chair without further invita-
ton, and wedged himself in between
the host and tall young man with a
gigantic mustache who had just come
from Keokuk, and had never before
met the Commodore, :" as the bore
was called. The stranger Immediately
pretended to be deaf, and smiled va
cantly but pleasantly upon the commo-
dore. That worthy toyed with his
gray moustache for moment, and
then began to talk to him. The Keo-
kukian insisted upon repetition of ev-
cry word until he had the commodore
on his feet bawlng into his ear. Still
the western man smiled vacan ly, and
suddenly conceiying that he had been
insulted, gravely filled champagne
glass full of vinegar and insisted upon
the commodore's drinking it. There
was a great deal of stimuli ted excite
ment, but in the end. in order, as he
said, to avoid row in the restaurant,
the commodore succumbcd. and drank
the glass to the bitter drcgS. Then he
put his hand into his vest pocket to get
a match, and brought out a pat of but
ter which one Of the party had placed
there during the excitement, Another
member of the group had poured half
the contents Of the cruct OF CAYENNE
pepper into the pocket Of the unfortun-
ate commodore during the struggle, and
when he pulled out his handkerchief
he sneezed seven times. He lighted
his cigarette, however, said boys would
be boys, and then laid his cigarette on
the edge of the table while he rescued
his hat from the hands OF a small man
who had been regarding it curiously
The host carefully and thoughtfully
turned the commodore's cigarette
around, so that when he picked it up
again he naturally put the lighted end
into his mouth.
BY this time he had grown a bit 1us-
tered, but he still smiled and said that
he enjoyed good company as well as
anybody if he could only have an oc-
casional drink. A glass of champagne
was handed to him and he raised il to
his lips. Before he could drink it, how
ever, one of the men clutched his arm
and begged him to wait until he had
told a story. Six times the commodore
raised the gluss to his lips and six
times he was obliged to put it down,
until finally another glass was subst-
tuted without his knowledge which
contained some tobacco and castor oil,
with dash Of sweet oil on top to give
it flavor. Here an eloquent member of
the party rose to his feet and command
ed everybody to rise and drink the
health Of the host in bumper.
This was the first chance the commo-
dore had had, and he jumped up and
tossed off the contents of the glass at q
gulp. The effect was eXtraor mary.
His eyes closed and opened with the
rapidity and precision OF a trip hammer
running at an extraordinary speed, his
jaw dropped, and he gave a yell that
would have done credit to a drunken
Sioux. Then he put on his hat, which
did not fit very well in consequence Of
four pats of butter which the small
man had put under the lining, said:
''Gentemen, have had a very large
time, !" dashed through the doorway
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