The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-07-31
HUMOR.

A SIGN OF approaching springs
bent pin upon chair about to be occu-
pied.-Ihe Judge.
AN honest, conscientious politician
Is the hardest thing to find among all
OF the "noblest works. "-G0uUernetsr
Herald.
MY father Is willing" Paris girl wrote.
THAT you for my love make Iursuts;
But be careful. dear John. when ysu give him
For ne always wants somstAias to boot
Paris Beacon
IT is asserted on high authority that
the most of the game had at club sup
pers is poker. This may account for
the big expense some men complain OF
after attending q game supper.-Peck's
Sun.
pIscoNsoLATE looking tramp picked
up q spectacle case, which was lying on
the sidewalk. Il am in luck" re-
marked the seedy party to himself; "au
I need now is to find pair of specta-
cles to fit the case, and lose my eyesight
and then 1 am fixed. eifta1ags.
THE first Selectman OF a town near
Boston was lamenting the inferiority OF
public men. "The great men. he ex-
claimed, ARE all deed. Washington is
dead, Jefferson i, dead. and so are
Jackson and Clay and Webster, all
gone, and ahem-I don't feel very
VOL myself"
IN sACKCLoTH AND ASHES.
Into my life three years ago
She came ana took a place
None else could I'LL Her step was slow
And full OF gentiest grace.
Beneath the ash they laid her:
have not I'm led since thSt
Sad day that de- tn b trayed her,
My own dear--pussy CAT.
-CiRctnndh hers Journal
81 HOPE" she said to the new boy In
school, shat you do not indulge in the
wicked and filthy habit of smoking
cigars? ?" NAV" replied the new boy
in burst of proud disdain, gimme o
clay pipe and some niggerhead tobacco
when you want me to enjoy comfort.
None o your fancy smokes for me.
And then she knew that the new boy
used to clerk on a raft.-Bitrdette.
HE was young lawyer and was de-
iivering his maiden speech. Like most
young lawyers, he was ford. rhetor-
ical, scattering, and windy. For four
weary hours he talked at the court and
the jury, until everybody felt like
lynching him. When he got through,
his opponent, grizzled old profess
s.onal, arose, looked sweetly at the
Judge, and said: "Your Honor, 1 will
who has just finished, and submit the
case without argument" Then he sat
down, and the silence was large and
oppressive.
An exchange gives an account Of an
editor found dead in bath-tub. This
is indeed q remarkable place to find ON
editor, dead or alive. How in the world
did the editor come to str-y into such
an out-of-the-wav place and be in his
right mind? There are several ways
TO account for this. He IN Y have been
laboring under a temporary attack of
mental alteration when he strayed into
the tub, and recovering his senses be-
fore he had got ont OF the place, real
lied his terrible situation and was
frightened to death However, the
story is doubted on account of the I'M
usual and unreasonable position in
which it Is claimed the editor was
found.-Peck's Sun.
"WHAT's the matter. Slipity ?" asked
friend, as the person addressed APP
preached, with the impression of tive
finger-nails on each jaw, with his hat
of, cooling his head, that resembled
half-picked fowl. Moth ng much" he
answered, trying to smite; Gust little
domestic cyclone" What caused it?"
well, you see, at breakfast my wife
asked me what I thought would
be the next thing to heaven" "And
/ remarked that / thought my
mother-in-law was the next thing to
heaven. She wanted to know why,
looking awful pleased. and 1 told her
because 1 didn't think my mother-in-
law would ever get to heaven, and, con-
sequently, she would be the next thing
to that place. Then the air got sorter
tangled mp with finger-nails, hair, and
me, and 1 thought best to come out
and cool off."-Atldntd Cons tttutio1,.
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