Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-03-11

ADOPT the FarSOn S IDEA In pooling down. .
So we will divide them by the avocations
for the most part which they ordinarily
pursue, claiming the liberty, in some par
tlcular cases. perhaps, to travel little way
outside. But before we attempt what may
be regarded somewhat in the light of a
personal delineation of individuals, we will
have disclosure to make, which we are
| very sure will startle the denizens of this
quiet old State of ours-frOm Glands end
to Johnny Groat's house, Our State has
recently passed through what may justly
be termed a death h-struggle. in shaking off
an incubus that all staid, sober-rehecting
men, now that they have had time for re-
trospectiOn, can not cease to be astonished
that it was possible for her ever to have
been brought into such a situation. And
IS it violent presumption to supNsSn that
there are many, very many, stsfd, tisei ae;,
sensible men, now that the smoke of battle
has lifted, excitement is subsiding, and rea
son once more is mounting her throne, who
will ask themselves, "How was it possible
that | should have been innoculated with
such a virus?" and who will repent in sack
cloth aud ashes, through the remainder of
their lives, be it long or short.
AS will be remembered, the former hunt
which resulted in the forfeit of the cup
was between son of Esculapius of the Getty
of the Hills," Us it is grandiloquently
styled, you will remember where, and a
gentleman representing the distilling inter
est of the county, near New Hope. It is
natural to suppose that they would
have been the party that arranged this
hunt. Not SO, however, as altogether new
characters appear upon the scene, and it is
ifn Si fac hat oil
cite surprise, but create mirth, when l
demonstrate that the prominent actors all
belong to a certain political party, which,
as we have said, in the late election, proved
to be terribly in the vocative. In the first
race, it was the dogs of Funder and Of a
Mahoneite that failed to reach the goal and
forfeited ''the cup" as pitted against pair
of Funders, the owners of the two noted
dogs, "North' and Taylor" Now it is
a prominent Internal Revenue official, who
unknown to the two last gentlemen, comes
to the front, and assumes the arrangement
of the whole affair. He writes to his friends
in Albemarle and Nelson of the same polit-
ical faith and arranges the time, place, and
circumstances, and you will discover it
turns out to be regular pitched battle be-
tween the
To return to the hint thrown out as to
our proposed plan of classification, we may
say that Of the different business avocations
the farming interest very largely predomi-
mated, as it should everywhere, but, un-
fortunately for the best interests of the
country, is shamefully in the vocative in the
National and State councils. Then distil-
lation, medicine, mining, drugs and medi-
a,,l Oh, g
terndt revenue, and last. but not least law,
were all represented. As it will be proper
in enumerating the representation of coun-
ties to fair understanding of the political
status of parties, we will say that the
FATHER OF THE DECLARATION OF INDE-
PENDENCE's
native county, Albemarle, in her delega-
ton was divided. The head of the delaga-
ton was in truth a chip of the old block,
as 1t regards his relationship by REGULAR de-
scent to Monroe, and as the oldest son. the
heir-apparent, as well rs same name OF the
High Priest in the Masonic Temple of Vir-
ginia. Then in politics, as with his father
he belongs to those in the Republican fold,
like Judge Rives. Wickham, Dezendorf,
&C., who have gotten in through the regu-
lar door, and unlike the Malone party, who
got in in some other way, and we remember
what the Scripture says of the last class,
and how it designates them. His near
neighbor, who accompanied him, belonged
to the dominant party. The other two del
egates belonged to the defeated faction
OF these, one, the junior, may be said to
have been fortunate in the distribution Of
the loaves and fishes, although a resident
OF the county, and five or SIX miles distant,
got teat at the University of some sort to
suck, amounting to $500 per annum. He
rides in once week, and whilst we
haven't made nice calculation, it seems to
us pretty tall per dieD, of ten or twelve
dollars. How is that for high9 The other
lank and mighty hungry looking. They
ter that you ever did see,
BUT THAT HE COULDN'T QUITE REACH 1T.
The next county iu order was Nelson.
Her first representative was a noted hotel
keeper on the Chesapeake and Ohio Rail-
way, a stalwart in size. yet baby by the
side of brother, an old and popular Sheriff
of the county for many years. Rumor says
that he was an aspirant for a seat in the
House of Delegates. If any intimation
had been thrown out to friends at the Capt.
tai to have one made in time. We We not learn
ed, as since the days of Maj. Daniel Smith,
Of Kanawha, a half century ago, there
couldn't have been one found of dimensions
sufficient. Yet, of this fact, there can't be
q shadow of a doubt, that he treated him.
self to a fine suit of store clothes. Devlin,
of New York, we doubt not, was the lucky
recipient of the order. But it is notorious
that the people of Nelson are very unap-
preciative of merit, and couldn't see it.
Now, it will e long, long time, associating
with his would-be constituents, four fifths
OF whom were never outside of the smoke
of their own chimneys, before those stole
clothes would be the least bit ''siled. )"
Then were the jolly Sheriff to wear them,
| they would bring unpleasant associations,
| looking at them always ''as the substance
Of things hoped for and the evidence of
things not SEEN" Then, too, he would be
the butt of coarse jbes and stale wit, on the
part of his political opponents, whenever
| they would see him trigged out. Yet permit
us to make a suggestion, and am sure the
| first time he meets us, where all the conve-
niences are at hand, he wilt say, 81 thank
thee, Jew, for that word," come let us smile.
Arthur is for u.s. let the Republican party
cOhN diiii W OulCdSO, WAOIO VIC dIC Sul q
his sunshiny face and stalwart size will re-
fleet credit on Virginia,
AS A DELEGATE TO THE CHICAGO CON-
yENTION.
The second delegate from Nelson, sue
cessful farmer, some years ago had an itch
ing to wear the representative toga. Again
the good people of the county couldn't see
it. Forthwith, in sheer disgust, he began
to read the Whig, and to sidle over like,
forninst the party that was throwing up
their caps in honor of the chief of TIE
"Mozart Conventicn." About that time,
or very soon after, an individual in the
county of Albemarle, who had been suck
ing a teat of the Internal Revenue Depart
ment, we suppose had neglected to worship
at the shrine of the ex-railroad magnaIe,
when the first thing any one knew, the
would-be legislator of Nelson was wearing
his slippers.
The other one of the three delegates
from Nelson belonged to the farming com
munity, and, as we were told, sympathized
with them fully in their great political de-
feat. We will say here, lest we may for
get it, that the Nelson delegation were
quief, modest, and unobtrusive lookers-on
at the sport, and we have had no opportu-