Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-03-14
JONES AND TIE DABT.
BY FANNY RAYMOND.

at seems to me-" said Jones to his
wife, who was walking around the room,
with the baby in her arms, "that women
make a great deai of unnecessary fuss
about putting a child to sleep. Now, l
would chuck him into bed, and let him
squat it out"
cit seems to me-" said Mrs. Jones,
quietly, that all men are born idiots.
Jones couldn't, for the life OF him, see
what that fact had to do with putting
the baby to sleep, but he wisely held his
peace.
The next evening, Mrs. Jones came
into the sitting-room, where Jones was
reading the market reports, and said
81 am going down to mothers after
that recipe for yeast. Baby is asleep,
but, if he should wake, presume you
could put him to sleep again-mcn are
so handy with babies"
"All right I'll put him to sleep
again in less than no time run along,
my dear" said Jones. cheerfully.
Mrs. Jones vanished, and Jones re-
sumed his paper.
Soon after his wife's departure, Jones
heard little premonitory, grunt from
the vicinity of the bedroom.
"Hullo ! what's that ?" exclaimed as
he assumed listening attitude.
He soon found out, for the Juvenile
member of the Jones family set up
series of yells that would have done
credit to prima donna.
Jones dropped his paper, rushed into
the bedroom, seized his offspring, and
carried him wrong end up back into the
sitting-room.
The suddenness of the attack, and the
unusual position, so astonished his baby
ship that he forgot to scream for few
seconds, but when Jones righted him
up, and offered him a pair of sleeve-but-
tons for playthings, Johnny shut his
eyes, opened his mouth, and began
again with renewed vigor and determine
ton.
Jones abandoned the sleeve-buttons,
and tried to "cuddlo" the baby up af-
ter the maternal fashion, but baby stern
ly refused to "cuddle )" and, with a de-
gree Of energy for which Jones was
wholly unprepared, and which evinced
q total lack of respect for the "author
of his being" Johnny grabbed the pa
ternal whiskers with both hands and
hswled louder than ever.
Jones released himself, smoothed his
cherished whiskers, deposited his heir
on the sofa, reiterated to safe distance,
rubbed his face carefully, smiled in a
vague kind of way, as ii he didn't
know exactly where the fun came in,
and wondered "what the dickens Maria
would do under similar circumstances. "
Baby put his fist into his mouth, and
looked as if he wondered what his pater-
nal ancestor would do next.
"There, now" exclaimed Jones, i'm
mensely relieved, she is papa's pity it
tie sonny, so he is"
"Sonny" promptly resented this by
a long-drawn yell that struck terror to
the soul of his dismayed parent.
Jones was at his wits end. He grew
reckless. He whistled to that baby he
sang; he made faces; he cut a series Of
antics that would have driven a ballet.
dancer mad with envy; but all to no
purpose. Baby had evidently taken a
contract to furnish so much yell in a
given time, and was bound to do the
square thing.
When Mrs. Jones returned, she found
demoralized-looking man wandering
around the house, with baby on one
arm, while with his disengaged hand he
wiped the perspiration from his manly
brow with the tail end of the baby'l
night-dress.
ct seems to me-" remarked Mrs
Jones, as she took the baby, "tha
men make a great deal of unnecessary
fuss about putting a baby to sleep
Now, /"
The front door closed with bang
Jones was on his way down street t.
"see q man."