Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1884-09-19
FUN

FUN
MADE A MISTAKE" Watch that
trunk,' said the driver Of stage-coach
to negro passenger, land if it falls off,
tell me.''
''All right, sah."
The coach had gone quite a distance
when the driver. looking back, asked:
sis the trunk all right"
"Doan know sab. 1t fell off,
"WhatY"
"Fell off bout three miles back yander.o
"Why in thunder didn't you tell mep"
'Didn't low dat yer wuz in er hurry"
81 told you to tell me if it fell"
swell. amt dun tole yer? Yer didn't
sly ter tell Yer when it fell. 'Clar' ter
goodness de common white folks is er get
tin 80 cuts dat er 'telligent pussan kahn
har dly un'erstan' EN-. Oh. I'll get off eff
yer say So" proceeding to climb down
"Hab or fine time er findin' dat trunk, er,
haw, haw. Forgets de time dat yer fused
ter len me er quarter. Now yer's got dat
man, addressing passenger, "wush
yer'd ham down my luggage. Dat amt
de one. De udder one is it. No tain {, l
don't belebe. Fore de Lawd, dat waz my
trunk whut fell off! Did anybody cher
see SIGH caper? En- homes man amt
got no show. Dribe on yer miserable
'trapshun an let dis miserable man die in
de shade.''
Too SMART.--A young married man of
this city Dissolved freshly-opened box of
face-powder on his wife's toilet table.
ITO this complexion have we come at
last" he said. and flung it out of the open
window.
1t alighted safely on the head of gen.
tleman who was going to church in his
Sunday best, and enveloped him from
head to foot like spring snow storm.
Come down and be murdered" he
yelled up to the man in the window,
shaking his fist and describing a war
dance.
''Come up and I'll fight you,' shrieked
the powder magazine above.
The wife appeared as pacifcator
armed with a whisk- broom she descended
to the side walk, and her husband had the
satisfaction of seeing her carefully dust
off the strange man, while she made sooth
ing apologies in invisible tones.
And the husband has concluded not to
in the future.
william, do you know why you are
like donkey ?"
Like donkey echoed William, open
ing his eyes wide. mo. I DON'T"
"Do you give it up 20
eyes"
because your better half is stubborn
ness itself''
"That's not bad. Ha! ha ha! I'll
give that to my wife when get home.
''My DEAR" he asked, as he sat down to
supper. lido you know why am like
donkey" He waited a moment, expect
ing his wife to give it up, but she didn't.
She looked at him somewhat commiser-
atingly as she answered.:
II suppose because you were born so.
They sat side by side on the car talking
white plug hat inquired:
Colonel, whom do you consider the
greatest living orator."
The colonel coughed, stroked his chin
whiskers and made no reply. At the end
of the block he got off without word,
and q M csap nor IN tho onpoo;ta coot Ioo-,
ed forward and said to the white hat
man:
THAT'S pretty blunder you made
Why, he's the very man himself! ~
sis that so ~ gasped the other, and he
ran to the platform to watch him out of
sight.
II do not believe in this nonsense about
Friday being an unlueky day." said Mrs.
Minks.
"Don'tyou, my dearT' replied Minks,
who was trife out of humor. 81 believe
In it though. Friday you will remember
was the day I was foolish enough to ask
you to marry me-"
"Ah, yes,' Mrs. Minks responded, 80
it was, and was foolish enough to accept
you. Yes, Friday is an unlucky day."
'Your manner. is very shocking" said
the lady to the tramp. "Ah," replied the
tramp, ''you noticed it, did you? That's
my personal magnetism
Mamma-''It is very wrong in you.
Johnny, to quarrel in this way" Johnny
(who has just had fight with his brother
Tom)-"Well, got mad and had to do
something" Mamma-"BuJ you should
not let your temper carry you away in
that manner. will tell you good rule;
when you are angry always count twenty
before you strike.'' Tommy, 1.-THE victor
in the recent unpleasantness)-" and
he'd better count forty before be strikes
fellow that can lick him.
A turnover is so called because when
eaten at night. 1t makes man turn over
about seven hundred times before he can
rot RI alaan