The Nevada picayune., 1884-12-18
HUM 0 Ro US.


 vorite resort Ems.
 A mans reputation is no better for being guilt. edged.
 Is the. poet who writes cheerful songs a cheer-up ode ist!
 Well watched the pickpoCket with several time pieces.
 Girls lock upon the engagement ring as a very promising affair.
 A young man may be good on a loaf, yet make a bad bread-winner.
 A well-tulned ankle has often accomplished a well-turned head.
 It is lucky to pick up a horse shoe, but not to be picked up on one.
 It seems absurd to write a book in this country and then have it bound in turkey.
 The front steps are deserted now. The season has passed when she stoops to conquer.
 Rouder says his wife is the light wait champion. She always stays up till he comes home.
 Why was \ oal,thc best broker of ancient iimesf 'lIe could loat more stock than any other man."
 De perfeckshun O dis worP is Eebcr in danger,' says Uncle Silas, 'De ripe apple is de soones' to TO-
 "If you love me-" said dear creature, "say so; but if you love me and don't want to say so, squeeze my .,and."
 q can't imagine" said young Spoonvase, "what makes my hair grow so rapidly" Grows in such soft, airy soil, maybe.
 "What will the coming girl wear" is query in q fashionable magazine. The question really is, what won't she wear.
 'les,o said Eogg, "Pve ne, ms. ny successes in life" That's the trouble, yon knew. Things q iel- low meets are always going the other way.
 An exchange contains an edito. rial entitled "Mo1.fy the Age" but ii would ehtail too much tahor.- Ninety nine out os every hnGdled women wlo have passed their twenty. birthday would want taeil age modified, so they might tell their friends they were oaly eighteen years old wf.hout lying about it. The scheme is noy p, ac- ticable.
 A Bismar& young man told az old maid sue was ''matchless wo. man." and she smiled so sweetly over the compliment that she stretched her mouth to it's utmost capacity. Alter lie had gone it oc- cured to her that }htre was auoth. CT meaning 10 the expression, and the next time that voung man calls there will be sichening tragedy to record.
 "llow much are them quart" a comtryman asked as he picked up 6 strawberry in from of a fruit store on Chestnut street, and swal- lowed it. Fifty cents piece n- "Whatw shouted the countryman. "Fiity a piece; try another. they're nice and frcsh.' No" he replied, as ne hanted over half dollar five had all the strawberries l want"
 Experience may be a dear teacher" remarked 2 clergyinan as the contribution box was returned to him empty, but the members of this particular flock who have experienced religion ha' e accom-, pliShed 1t at 2. very tritling cost. The choir will sing the seventy ninth hymn, omiting the first, tGird and fourth verses. in order to save unnecessary wear on the organ. ."- New York San.
 Say, conductor, don't be stingy about it. Introduce mo to that wo- man you were just talking to so lovingly" Certainly, step right over. Mrs. Dobbins, this is Mr. Stebbins.' and the ceneuctor went his way. "Oh, Mrs. Dobbins, de. lighIe0 to know you, widow, I sup pose. Lej me warn you against making the acquaintance of this conductor. Hell decieve you." "Oh, bless yoa, MT. Stebbins, l ex-