The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1884-10-25
.SchuykiH REPUBLICAN.

one Of the country townships of this
county, discharged teacher recently
on the ground of incompetency. He
had the reputation of being an able in
structor, but the trustees detected his
ignorance in the following manner. A
notice was served by the school board
on the teachers, which read as follows:
"ZSeeAers. JoretSek Sal a,y. door. in.
nay. cash in"
After school was dismissed the teach
ers met to interpret the notice, and the
following debate ensued:
First Teacher-What can be meant
by that expression, Teachers Fore
feetp" Do the trustees think we are
quadrupeds?
Second Teacher.-I think the second
and third words are to be taken in con-
neCtion-' Forefeet Sal" 1t is prob
ably an allusion to trotting horse.
Third Teacher.-But why should the
trustees send notice about a trotting
horse to teachers. most of whom are
ladies?
2d-The trustee possibly had two
letters in his pocket-one for the teach
ers and one for the race course, and got
them mixed.
4th The only Ineligible word in
the notice is "cash," and the action of
the trustees in reducing our salaries pre-
cludes the idea that anything contain
ing cash was ever meant to be sent to
US by the board
Ist.-What makes it still more en-
barrassing is that there is period after
every word.
2d.-It looks to me like the prize puz-
zle in Demon S Magazine.
3d.-It may be policy slip that one
of the trustees has given us in mistake
Ist.-I have thought so before. |
had better take It back to him, and pre-
tend we could not decipher it. If it is
policy-slip it will save him the morti-
ication of thinking we know it is.
The last speaker accordingly took it
back to one of the trustees, when the
following conversation occurred:
Teacher-Mr. Blank, l return this
paper. which we have been unable to
decipher.
Trustee.-Cipher That notice don't
say nothin' bout cipherin'.
Teacher.-I mean we are unable to
read it
Trustee.-If you can't read English
what do we pay you for9 | writ it, and
if l do say it myself, say them letters
is made regular and plain up and down,
like the piston of steam engine.
Teacher-Oh, l have not spoken of
the chirography.
Trustee. neither was talkin'
Typography; I'm talkin' ofthat writin'
Teacher my dear sir, the no.
tice is written in vague terms.
Trustee. mo, it amt writ in vague
turns; its writ in ink, and the turns is
all regular.
Teacher.-I mean the phraseology is
ambiguous.
Trustee Indignantly Oh, crazyol
ogy be darned! | m plain man don't
talk Latin to me. If you want TO con-
verse with me, you must talk English.
Teacher Gmpatiently). What |
mean is, cannot read that plaguey no.
tice, or tell what it means.
Trustee You can't read English!
Then how in thunder can you teach pu
pills TO read it? What do We pay you
salary for?
Teacher (desperately).-I can't read
it, and l don't believe you or any men,
Der of your Board can make sense out
of it.
Trustee. Can't II (Here he seized
the notice and reads, more from mem
ory than from written words as follows:)
"reachers forfeit salary during vaca-
tion."
Teacher.-i see it now! But why did
you put dot after every word2 That
misled me.
Trustee. A a0tI Them amt dots;
thems comets, and semi-scoldings and
periwigs! DON'T you know nothin about
punctification, you ignoramus1
Teacher-But you did not spell the
words correctly.
IruStee.-What has the trustees to do
with the spellin'2 That's your business.
We pay you big salary to come here
and look after the spellin' of this dis
trict, and now you've got the cheek to
say you expect the trustees to spell!
Teacher.-There is but one proper
way to spell word, and
Trustee.--There you show your igno-
rance again! Andrew Jackson said
man that couldn't spell word in more
ways than one, must be fool, and |
have always been Jackson Democrat.
The conversation ended here. The
people of the school district now know
upon what authority their favorite teach
er has been pronounced incompetent.
The exasperated trustee reported back
to his fellow-trustees, and being the
best educated member of the board, he
easily induced them to pass the follow
ing resolution:
WHEREAS, Mr.. Tomkins can't. reed.
plane. writin. and punkterfurcation,
theirfour.
Resok0id, That. sed. Tomkins. afour-
sed. be. and. be. theirby. il. disgorged.
from. this. skool.
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