The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-20


poet. In recent production from that
state @sky tipping bard makes cause
rhyme with "hoss."
Negro minstrels are improving. At a
performance the other night, the end man
with the big mouth omitted to sing
"Mary's Run Aaway Wild er Coca"
1t is to be hoped that Bill Nye will
start out on a lecturihg tour. If he can
talk as he writes, he would become the
most entertaining lecturer il America.
claw me-" said An old lady. "it do
seem like trouble always comes double
handed. Thar's POI Mrs. Wheeler. No
longer ago than last week her husband
was buried and now see that the hogs
have got in her garden and rooted up the
Cabbage"
An ancient writer spoke of how long
he was engaged on a certain piece OF
work. The modern writer boasts of how
much literary work he can perform in a
day. The water oak grows faster than
the mountain hickory, but it does not live
nearly so long.
II is said that our new navy will not
have to keep out of the way of ferry
boats. This is we'll. 1t embarrasses gov
eminent to know that its navy is in per-
petual danger. Americans are so bolster
Gus, anyhow. They always did too
roughly handle the navy.
A magazine writer devotes twenty
pages of fine Print in showing why society
is likely to improve within the next
hundred years. Yes, very likely, bu,
how about the price Of cord.wood? A
little society goes long ways, but cord
wood-well its very contemplation makes
a man feel serious.
Oh, man, vert thou ever incorrupti-
ble3 They now say that S.. John agreed
to "come down for the sum of one
hundred thousand dollars. The repuh-
ican national committee would have
paid this, sum, but couldn't make the
change. Avaunt, St. John. We will
never take another drink with you.
"Think canned beef hurt me-" NUT
tered drunken man to his wife, "Never
could STAN canned goods" ooh, don't
think it was canned goods" replied his
wife. "Glass goods, think" "Thing
SOP" eyes, do" she replied. "Wall,
that's all ride. Let glass lone negs
time. Smartes' woman ever saw. Wy
don't yer travel with a show?"
1t is said that Eugene Field, the poet
and humorist aside from the fine salary
paid him by the Chicago Meas, owns a
mining interest which yields him about
two hundred dollars per day. This
money is not invested in railway stocks,
but mainly goes to relieve the sufferings
ofpoor people. Mr.. Field is a genius OF
iberality as well as genius Of literature
sell kin jes' git ter heaben," said an
old negro, "dat's all axes. doan
kere ter march up wild or brass ban an
make er mighty stir; doan ak de angels
ter shout nur de saints ter rush up an
shake hans. Nor, sab, doan az all dat,
fur all wants is ter git dar. Da needn
put dase'fs ssz de trouble o handin' 'roun'
pies an sweet stuff. Hoe-cake sorter
creased wild er bacon rim is good ernuff
fur me-"
Cannot there be devised some means
to kill the congressman who, falling to
deliver his speech in the house, has it
printed in the Ree0rd9 Such man is
dangerous. Look at Congressman Tay-
Tor from-hsve forgotten what state-but
look at him. He printed a speech de-
nouncing congress, the pension commit
tee, the Capitol building, the president
the speaker, and in fact, shook his fist in
the face of the goddess of Liberty. Do
you know why? The reason is plain.
When the Record reaches the cross
roads-where old man Spotson, Abe
Deyer, Jerry Patterson, the Towsiey boys
and the fellows from over the creek as
sembIe at the store and hear the speech
read by Major Pillings, some leader in
society viii say: "Them's my senti-
ments. That's the way fur a man to
talk. Taylor said he want afeerd o. them
SeIlers, an blame if he is. Oh, he's the
man fur Us ter keep in that thar place."