Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-03-29
TIE sPooPsNDYKKs TAKE BIRD HUNT

critically, want you to wake me up
early In the morning, I'm going shooting. "
Isn't that teo sweet - calculated Mrs
| Spoopendyke. "I'll wear my new dress
and my Saratoga waves. Where do we
go?''
" I'm going down on the island, and
you'll probably go as far as the front
door. grunted Mr.. Spoopendyke
Women don't go shooting. It's only
men. All you've got t. do is TO wake me
up and get breakfast When l come home
we'll have some birds"
Wont that be nice 2" cbimed Mrs
! Spoopendyke. "Csn you catch birds with
that thing 2 and Mrs. Spoopendyke fut-
tered around the improved breech-loading
shotgun, firmly impressed with the idea
! that i. was some kind of trap.
" can kill EN- with that, exclaimed
! Mr.. Spoopendyke. THAT is gun it
J isn't nest with three speckled eggs in it,
! nor is it barn with a hole in the roof.
You stick your cartridge IN here and pull
/ this finger. piece and down comes your bird
every time"
"Well, isn't that the greatest thing 1
suppose you don't want partridge you
can stick duck or turkey in that end, too,
just as quick"
Eyes, aad you can stick house or corn
field or a dod. gasted female idiot in there,
too, if you want to |" snorted Mr. Spoop,
endyke. "Who said anything about
partridge: Its cartridge that goes in
there"
"Oh /" calculated Mrs. S2oopendyke,
rather crestfallen. g l see nov. Where
does the bird go:"
"He goes to night school if he hasnt
got any more sense than you have p
snorted Mr., Spoopendyke. "L7ok here,
now. and I'll show you how 1t works,
and Mr.. Spoopendyke. whose ideas of a
gun We're as vasue as those of his wife,
inserted the cartridge half way in the
muzzle end, and cautiously cooked the
weapon.
"And when the bird sees that he comes
and pecks at IT, Isn't that the funni-
est p and Mrs. Spoopendyke clapped her
hands in the enjoyment of her discovery.
Then you put out your hand and catch
him. "
YOu've struck it howled Mr.. Spoop-
eudyke, who had the hammer on the half.
cock, and was vainly pulling at the trigger
TO get it down. That's the idea All
you need is four feathers and a gas bill to
be martingale With your notions you
only want new stock and steam trip-
hammer to be a needle gun Don't you
know the dod- gasted thing has got to go off
before you get 8 bird You shoot the
birds, you don't wait for EN- to shoot
you
cat home we used always to chop the
heads off with an AK, " faltered Mrs Spoop-
endyke.
SO would l if was going after measly
old hens, retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke, who
managed to unlock the contrivance, but
when 90 for yellow birds and sparrows
90 like sportsman. While l am waiting
for bird, continued Mr.. Spoopendyke,
adjusting the cartridge at the breech, 81
put the load in here for safety. And when
l see q flock aim and fire.
Bang went the gun, knocking the tail
feathers out of an eight-day clock, and
blowing a foot furrow in the wall, per.
forating the closet door, and eliminating
in Mr.. Spoopendyke's plug hat.
Goodness, gracious - squeaked Mrs.
Spoopendyke. Oh, my -
Mr.. Spoopendyke gathered himself up
and contemplated the damage.
"Why couldn't you keep still" he
shrieked. @ What'dye want to disturb
my aim for, and make me let it off? Think
can hold back a charge of powder and
pound of shot while a measlv woman is
soaring it through gun barrel p
If that had been bird, how nicely
you would have shot it, suggested Mrs.
Spoopendyke, soothingly. II you should
ever aim st bird, you'd catch him, sure,
"Oh you know what l could do With
your information about gunnery you only
need wad in your mouth and kick like
mule to be mountain howitzer. II | had
your intelligence on sporting subjects I'd
hire out for a shot tower. Don't you know
you've spoiled the dod-gasted gun" And
Mr.. Spoopendyke anxious for some excuse
to take it back to his friend Specklewottls,
who loaned it to him, held it out and eyed
his wife sternly. You've ruined that
gun" he continued solemnly, "it won't
ever 60 off again.
Never mind, dear" continued Mrs.
Spoopendyke; "it's been off enough. I'd !
Just as leave have some CLAIMS as birds. ]
You go to bed and we'll try to get along
without birds"
at won't never go off again" repeated
Mr.. Spoopenkyke, as he climbed into his
couch. That's ruined gun" and he
turned his face to the wall,
. Mrs. Spoopendyke slowly disrc bed, hav-
ing first turned stream of water into the
gun from the faucet, and betook her to
rest. 1T must not go off again she
thought, " but if it does the neighbors will
think the water main h&s burst" with
which reflection she began TO pat the ear of
Mr.. Spoopendyke who turned over like
an earthquake, snd wanted to know if she
thought she hadn't done enou Oh mischief
without ismming him like a dod- -gasted
black smith Il BrooklYn Elgle