The Penn's Grove record., 1884-11-22
HUMOROUS,

-
THx sudden change In the weathei
reminded the young m OF hei
seaIskiu ssque packed away up stairs.
She brought it down and showed il
TO her father.
ut looks 8 little worn and shabby,
my dear, ssid the old gentleman; "i
will give you the money to get a new
one before cold weather sets in.
"Oh, no, you needn't papa. A little
cleaning and brushing and 1t can be
made to look very we'll for another sea-
son at least"
She then went into the kitchen and
made some biscuits for tea that re-
minded the writer of swansdewn, only
they weren't quite so heavy.
The name and address Of this girl
will be given to any young man whose
references are satisfactory.
Man with business air drives up to
gate aud calls the farmer. b
How are you, sir2 I want to buy a
large quantity OF fodder"
Eve got plenty OF it"
bright and well cured2'
Yes. SIR"
Never been rsined on, eh2'
Never has been damaged.
We'll, I'll take all you've got. I'll
send for il tomorrow"
"ae must own q big livery stable IN
town." says the farmer when the man
drives away.
"0h. no" replies q bystander. He
is the manufacturer Of a popular brand
If smoking tobacco"
MY gracious, Lucille, what's the
matteI?" asked an Arkansas father, as
his daughter, with streaming hair,
dashed into the library.
"Oh, that heaven will bestow Its
eomfortsI' duplicated the girl, sinking
to the floor.
"For Lords sake, tell me what's the
matter, girl!' lifting his daughter.
George, my betrothed, Is dead
"Why, don't take on So" said the
old gentleman, allowing her TO sink to
the door again. Don't give way to
your feelings In this unreasonable way.
You take on as though the Prohibition
lists had carried every ward in the
city"
Mrs SMITH was calling on Mrs.
Brown when q sudden storm came up.
Il declare" said Mrs. Smith, it's too
provoking. 1 haven't any rubbers with
ne, and my shoes are very thin"
'I can lend you q thick pair of my
own, If you think you can wear them, y
suggested Mrs. Brown. 1,
"Oh, thanks; you are very kind. II
believe 1 will avail myself Of your OFFER.
1 don't think they will be much 400
large.
Mas. De spARKs-"Ohi have you
heard the neWsP'
Mr.. Dc Sparks--"What news2"
Mrs. De Poultice's daughter has
sloped with the coschmsn."
Nothing unusual about that. She
did what ali other women do"
"Whst all other women dor What
do you mesnp"
"She took a husband for wheel and
whoa
GIVE me - small glass OF beer"
said a gentleman as he entered n saloon
IN Cincinnati.
''SohmalI bert exclaimed the pro-
prietor, twas ist dss2"
what is it2 1t is a small glass Of
beer, of course"
"Veli. veil, dot list der first dime |
stter had calls for some schmall biers
ike dot. Var vas elm stranger In Gin
,inDati2"
yes" the gentleman replied, al am
from New York"
IN Is y every who can dawnce.
IL wsquires bwains, / assuah YOU"
Il don't agree with you, Mr.. De
Silva, replied Miss Badger. 81 saw u
dog lead the German tins other day."
That was Vewry strange. Where
was itY'
'Ol Fourteenth street. The German
was bind"
"IHAr ia u very handsome picture"
he observed politely TO the artist.
What do you call it2"
That is a study from still life"
What Is the name Of it,"
"a Tramp at Work"
Miss NoBopY-"And so your sister
AA@aAASb AL AAd4AhA tOullG
Miss Somebody-"Yes, u genuine
count, His title is perfect"
Mss Nobody-''He accompanied her
home, l supposel"
Miss Somebody-"Yes. Harki
There he comes now. / would know his
hand organ among a Thousand"
How OLD is your little boyf" asked
Mr.. smith.
He is just six"
"No l amt" tnterposed the little
boy. 'Tm g."
why so you are-ef course. What
am thinking about?"
II guess you were thinking about
the street car conductor. pa"
"WHY don't you write what 1 die
tateP" said a Dallas merchant to his
clerk.
because the sun is shining on the
paper 80 that l can't see TO write"
Then turn the paper owe and write
on the other side. You donkey"
HUsBAND-"Was the Ladies' Club
lively to-nisht?"
Wife-"No; swfally dull. Every
member WAS present, and, OF course,
Il can't speak of people before their
faces; SO We had nothing at all to talk
about"
A YOUNG man having asked q girl If
he might go home with her from sing
Ing-class and been refused, said: lyon
are al full Of airs as a muical box"
perhaps so, h retorted, ''but il !
Am, | don't go with a crank"
A VRRMoNr woman is awful mad be.
cause she mistook a London Punch
Joke in an almanac for q cottage pud.
ding recipe, and made the whole family
sick with the blues for two days.
one Of the coal cutting machines in-
troduced in some OF the English oollerles
consists of q compressed air engine,
with picks o cutting tools mounted on
a carriage which runs on a tramway in
kbn hayE Ill., ~szh-