The Florida agriculturist., 1884-07-30
VARIETIES.

A young girl began to sing, "Listen to
the mocking Bird" and everybody in
the room rushed hastily out to find a
mocking bird to listen to.-Philadelphia
Call.
''Just to think ~ said Vassar gradu-
ate, "here is an account of train being
thrown from the track by misplaced
switch! How utterly careless some wo-
men are about leaving their hair arou d ~
And she went on reading and eating car
amels.-FaU Rirer Herald.
An editor in Iowa has been fined $3.50
for hugging girl in meeting. Cheap
enough ~ says another of the fraternity
1--WE once hugged girl in meeting,
and it has cost us thousand dollars
year ever since"
In libel suit against Louisville pa
per, the plaintiff was awarded one cent
damages. To show how popular some
papers are, it is stated that number of
influential capitalists Immediately step
ped forward and offered to loan the editor
the money to pay the damages, without
any security more than chattel mort
gage on the press and material.
isn't it awful?" exclaimed the land
lady. ''They say she refused nourish-
ment to the very last, and actually
starved to death!' 'What boarding
house was it?" inquired Fogg. "What
boarding-house? snapped the landlady.
''Who said anything about boarding.
houses, Mr.. Fogg? She died in prison,
sir" "Oh!" said Fogg. 'Of course,
when you spoke Of her refusing nourish-
ment l ought to have known that they
wouldn't have offered her any such thing
at a boarding-house. How dull l was
to be sure"
They do some things in New England
differently from what they do in Ken
lucky. Some weeks ago woman eloped
from Portland with young man. The
husband took it calmly, and did not try
to find her. On Monday he received a
letter from her dated at Boston, in which
she said: $50 far, God has blessed us
with health, but John has no regular
work yet" And the husband wants to
know why it isn't better to let them die
lingering death by starvation rather
than make himself ridiculous with
pistol.
81 tell you what friends" said the
deacon when he had finished saying
grace, "we have more to be thankful
for than most OF you are aware of. You
don't know what a narrow escape we've
had from losing the best part of our
dinner. Last night l heard the dog bark,
and going down the alley, back of the
wood-house, | found the shutter open.
Somebody inside whispered, is that
Dick?' Yes answered, for you know
my name is Richard. Here take him.
said the other, handing out the turkey,
which quietly took and bore away .
An Irishman seeing the gas lighted
shortly after his arrival in London, ex-
amined the fixture closely, went to
store and purchased one like it, threw
up good job, and returned post hase to
Ireland. ''An' why is it ye're home so
soon?'' inquired his mother. "Shure,
whist it is, mother. It's fortune I've
brought behint me. Wait bit an I'll
show ye" Pat proceeded to make "a
hole in the mud wall, and to fix the gas
pipe therein. 'In about the waste of
minute yer eyes'll be fit to hang me hat
on," he remarked to the wondering fam
lily, as hestrucl match and applied it
to the end OF the pipe. Match after
match burned away without producing
the brilliant flame which Pat had seen
in London. He sat down and scratched /
his head in despair. "Shure," he said,
iii it would only so as it went in Lon-
don I'd made no end Of a fortund sell
in it."-Hayper' 81 Bas@a az a " 4