The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-08-27
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

WISE AND OTHERWISE.
what are the sad waves saying"
Look out for sharks -r
Sambss Mis- salIie, I've done
flied this yer jng. Shall l Pot any
mo- init
A man in Milwaukee has written
a poultry book Of 1900 pages, 9
regular hencyclopedia, as it were.
Why is a list Of musical composers
like saueepan? Because it is in
complete without a Handle. e TE
A Boston EffrI never speaks ofthe
anaked TRUTH She refers 70 il rs
"truth Invested ofaPPArel-"
The reason so many prs fight
ers are still alive, is that the Lord
knows when each sparrer falls.
jenkins has moved his hen coop
farther FROM bis house. He csnsid-
ers that in aehoIera year fowl air
may be dangerous. rr
HasbAnd-"M Mary, has the dog
been at this meat?" Wife-"No,
dear, I carved when YOU we're away
yesterday =-A- .@- -
An auctiOneer, in recent hand
bill. advertised for sale a large
quantity of oil paintings "by some.
of the ancient masters of the day.
A boarding house mistress, like
the rest of US, has her weak and her
strong points, her weak point being
her tea and her strong point the
butter.
A cook and housemaid had a
little difficulty in the kitchen the
other day. and presently matters
became so quiet that you could hear
a rolling.pin fal.
ooh, don't propose to me heret
exclaimed a yOunglady, whose love
was about ypOur out bis avOwal rs
they were riding by a cOrnfeld-
'-The very corn has ears
\ follow of the name of Axaxxaxy
visited Bay st. Louis, Miss, last
week. He is supposed to be wood
chopper by profession and a pretty
good one at that --
aAh, Mr.. Hebbleton, / hear that
YOU have been called to the minis
try" ssWell, I can hardly term It a
call. They offered me $500 n year.
Sort Of whisper, you understand.
4 little Austin boy saw his mother
take off her switch one day, and
called out. sOh, mammal Let US take
your scalp out in the yard, so that
we can play Indians"
Mistress Mortified -" Good
gracious, Bridget, have YOU been
using one of my stockings to strain
this coffee through" Bridget
Capologetically) "Yis, mum, but
sure I didn't take a clape one"
"Has George proposed yet, Emily?'
'NO, ma, but he did the next thing
I, IL last evening" what did he
do?r' "He asked me if / thought
paragoric injurious to teething
children" -
A poetess sings, Where is Ny
Sailor Love tonight" III he sailed
on an ocean steamer he is probably
showing off from the wreck in
lifebOat before the rush ofthe female
passenget begins. a.
Flows business?' inquired a gen
tleman OF n scissors grinder on the
street. "Flourishing, sir; never bet
ter. / have more than i can do.
do. It's nav dull season, you know.
And he continues TO grind away in
dustriOusly.
"You did not pay very close at
tentIOn to the sermon, | fear, this
morning" sob, yes, did, mams
ma" "Well what did the minister
say?" "He said that the picnic
would start at 10 o'clock Thursday
morning-and obi ma, can / go?"
"Mar, why don't you speak,
asked little Jake. "Why don't you
say suthing funny?" "What can
say? Don't you see I'm busy frying
dOughnuts? Say something funny
indeed" oval, you might say
Jake, went you have a cake?'
That nd be funny for you.
A schoOlbOardfnspecter at a girls
sewing class ''Who can tell what
basting a turkey means?' There
was a silence for 4 while, and then
a Miss signified that she knew.
"Well, what is it?" said the inspec-
tor. SEWN up the place where
the stufin' goes IN" was the reply.
In Chicago. Jennie-Ob, he was
such funny looking fellow. Mary
He had such tight pants on. Alice
His legs were so thin. Carrie
And his feet were 80 large. Dick
how did he get his trowsers on?
Jennie-I don't know unless
Diek-Maybs Inc pulled them on
over his head.
The following testimonial of a
certain patent medicine speaks for
itself: Dear Sir-TwO months
aga my wife could scarcely speak.
She has taken two bottles Of your
Life REVIEWER and now she can't
speak at all. Please send me two
mere bottles. / wouldn't be with
out it."
Wake upl" exclaimed Mrs.
Mulberry in loud whisper, as she
punched the slumbering Mulberry
in the short ribs the other night;
wake mp I'm sure hear bur
glars down i'm the dining-roOm.
a. Don't disturb them, then" said
the drowsy Mulberry. Be juse as
quiet as you can and maybe they
will eat some of that fruit-cake you
have in the pantry"