Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1884-12-25
n ERE AND THERE.

Those who are struck with the ludic-
roususgs of the Frsnoo-C Chinese puzzhs
should remember that the French eat
horae meat aud sheir opponents are
devoted to rats.
"Gath" portrsys Mr.. Conklins's char.
aotsrlstics As follows "kr. Conkling
hate everybody above him and dsspises
everybody low below him." How he
must despise Gath.
81 don't see the bell" ssid shandsome
woman at the front door Of house, to an
lrishmsn shoveling coal. "Faith, mann,
aud ye wud though, av ye were to luck
In the glass. - erchlni 9rausier.
David Davis says that there Is no
economist like a',oareful wife. David has
come to this conclusion since he dis.
covered that the bssutiful awnings over
his library windows had been made out
OF the lacks Of his old vesss.-Fai Ripsr
Advance.
Speaking Of the factions" remarked
3 politician OF the Third ward, stThere is
one faction to which nobody objects"
"What faction is that :" asked q man In
the crowd. ''Satisfaction," was the reply.
II was only with great difficulty that the
mob was prevented from tearing the man
to pieces.
A Chicago lawyer has written 9 poem
entitled my Conscience. He must
have borrowed the title, for lawyers are
not supposed to possess the article. Per-
baps the effusion ia like Josh Billings
famous tmilk" lecture, In which the
tactical fluid was not mentioned al sll.--
Boston Courier.
"How is your son now ~ asked Gimlet
of old Mr.. Badger. "Hs's doin' tust rate.
He's at college," "Ah | 30 you are
giving him liberal education ~ Glib
eral ! should say was. He's cost me
II, 800 for new clothes already this year. l.
1t WAS any more liberal I'd have to mort
gage the iarm."- Graphic.
II you think you are . prodigy Of
photographic posentiality 60 into Chi
neae laundry and learn humility Of "on
Hang" who spells two shirts, an under
shirt and three pairs OF socks with q. K
wrong side up, and sll the rest Of your
washing with half button hook and two
or three fragments Of shattered lizzard.
Blink Gan exchange fiend)-"That was
rather curious achievement for an
editor" Blank Gan editor)-"WhAt
was 7" Blink-"I see by this paper that
the editor of a Colorado journal has
killed cinnamon bear weighing 1900
pounds" Blsnk-''Fhe bear must have
come into the Office to look over OK
changes"
Experience may be dear teach err"
remarked q clergyman "a the contribution
box returned to him empty, "but the
members Of the particular flock who have
experienced religion have accomplished
y at very tri1lng cost. The choir will
ling the 79lh hymn, emitting the FIRST,
| third and fourth verses, in order to save
unnecessary wear on the organ"
A gang OF Italian laborsrs near Sara.
toga were recently cut down 10 osnts a
day. Instead of striking they cut an
inch of their shovel blades at night.
The boss aaked what 1t meant, and Bald.
wins Guide reports that one Of the men
replied mot SO much pay, not SO
much dirt lit all right, the job last the
more longer Italian NO strike"
Mr.. and Mrs. Buntlin were going out TO
walk. ''Wait," said Mrs. B., "until l 70
back and get my umbrslla.'' SIT isn't
going to rain, is it 2" asked Mr.. B. "Noi
that know off, tThen what do you
want with An umbrella ?" "oh, / always
like to have something along with me
when Pm walking" Mr.. B. looked
bothered, but didn'. seek any sxplaua
lions.
Two gentlemen, while at q party, wert
eagerly Watching good looking lady o
commanding presence. SIS she msrrled9'
asked one. 81 don't know for certain,
was the reply, "but I'll bet she is.
overheard her tell a man q few momena'
ago to stop bothering her, and no woman
would talk that way ct 9 party TO any
one except her husband. ~ Philadelphia
Chronicle Herald.
Mrs. Judge Carpenter made arrange
ments to hire colored lady to do tn
cooking, or at at least she thought sh
had made arrangements, but she wa
mistaken. ~ do my own marketing, AM
| shall expect you to accompany me,
said Mrs. Carpenter. "Den we cam
agree. | nebber allows myself ter b
seen on de streets in company wild any
body who carries basket. Tiara
Sgtungs.
A police sergeant in Jersey City wa
beastipg Of the honesty that prevailed il
his precinct. "Why," he said, 'tyo,
might hang your gold watch on lamp
post in the evening, and find it Their
still in the morning" "You don't meal
to say nobody would take the watch,
exclaimed listener. enc; mean /
! say nobody would take the lamp. post,
said tbs sergeant. HaTper's Weekly.
"say, pa, what's all this talk abou
the troubles in China can't under
, stand it," "Why, it's simple enough
my son. You see Ii Hung Chang
qusrrellinR with Tso Tsung Chang Will
courbet is threatening Foo Chow. Blu
KusnRsu, or Tsai-t'ien, as he is other
wise called, has decreed the execution O
Lao Ki and Gao Bang, and the oooupatio
OF YOn Fan, KwRng Ton, and Kwsng 81
That all " 49, Chicago NsUs.
, Dumley had accompanied trien
home TO dinner, and, as they seste
, themselves at the table, the hostess re
t marked: IL trust that you will max
? allOw spces, Mr.. Dumley. Ny girl lei
/. me this morning very unexpectedly, an
b l was compelled to cock the Dime
l myself" "oh, certainly, my dear des
!. madam, certainly, responded DumleJ
: with much manner; 81 can put up wit
/ anything. "-NeW York Sun.
i Who was Moaes To this questio
i asked OF q lad by an inspector OF school
i in England, the following reply wF
d given "He was an Egyptian. He live
! in hsFk made Of bullrushes, and
kept golden carf, and worshipt braizs
snakes, and he het nothing but quRlt
and manner for forty years. he was kol
by the air Of his ed while riding under
d bow OF tree and was killed by his ow
% son Abslon as he was hanging from Ii
l. bow His end was piece"
Il For ssn years pact" said the ne
y boSrder, my habits have been reRull
II as olockwork. | rose on the stroke Of G
g half an hour later l sat down to breal
u fsst st / was q work, diued st IL, a
n supper at 6, and WAS In bed st $50, a
2 only hearty food, aud hadn't eiok da
= ia all hst timen "Dear me-" said Ii
!. deacon in sympathetic tones, sand viii
e were son In 70. Z" And in the RwfI
n silence that followed you could hear IL
6 hash gratis its tssth,-Brooktyn Eagle.
2 Vermont lawyer recently read Sc
= !, mon 20 the eoogreg aiion Of the church I
which he belonged, the pastor being ten
y astoniehsd orSsniat as 'your honor,
and Tightening the choir out Of gigglin
y by slludlng to them as gentlemen OF Ii
= jury" he finally settled down to bus
!, ness, and Ia an hour aud quarter La
= left the devil 80 small hole to crawl OF
of that he will probably never visit thi
q looSlity again. Burlington Free Eress.
70 We don't blame him, too. In an OLE
u | fosbinpaS nburnh In pbtladalvhia ~