The Florida agriculturist., 1884-12-03


can until he tries.
Now then, Patrick said the mer-
cnanC 10 his new office boy, .'suppose
you go for the mail.'' avis sor rfon ans
What KIND o male wud We be wantin,?
indian male or oatmale?''
How does the new girl strike you?',
asked citizen of Detroit at dinner late
~. she hasn't struck me yet" an
s;wered his wife meekly; "but she has
done almost everything else.''
..Shall we take bus up Broadway ?''
SAD a young New Yorker, who was
showing his country cousin the wonders
OF the city. so dear, non' said the
frightened girl, 81 would not do that in
the street"
The young man from the country and
his girl were drifting slowly into an ice
cream saloon, when the following met
his eys: Vanilla, Chocolate, Lemodade,
Strawberry Ice Cream, $1.50 per CALI
He turned and fled.
Fogg makes it point never to nav his
butchers bill. ''Why," he SAYS, ''if
paid for beefsteak, for instance, it
would be mine, and should be 10th to
eat 1t. A man does not care to dine off
his own flesh and blood"
''No,' said the merchant, 81 don't
advertise now. used to, but l got COM
pletely tired out waiting on customers.
Since stopped that advertisement /
have had continual vacation and been
able to discharge two of my clerks.'
\ lady who eften changes her servants
found on the first day after the arrival of
her new cook dragoon concealed in the
kitchen dresser. "Jane, how did the
soldier get therei" 81 really cant tell,
Guadige Frua; fancy he must have
been left there by the former cookr"
For several years the London street
cars, which run on more than four hum
dred routes and carry 100000 of
people year, have had texts of scrip
ture neatly posted up in them at an an
nual cost of $3.50 for each. This is the
work of an association formed for that
purpose.
Little Emma came running into the
parlor yesterday evening where her
mother was entertaining young Mr..
Duder until Miss Mary would complete
her toilet and come down stairs, and
criedout: ooh, mamma! Johnny is dot
NIary's teef and won't give 'em to her, -
A prince of medical science advised
one of his patients to submit to a
surgical operation. SIS it painful ~ in
quired the sufferer. ''Not to the
patient" replied the doctor, ''but very
much to the operator" ITO the oper-
ator ~ eyes; because it is an expert
ment that is successful only about once
in ninety times"
''Whatever became of Morgan ?' said
little boy to his father, who had just
become a Mason. The father smiled.
t.He was never heard of afterwards, was
he?'' The father still smiled. "Then,
if he was never heard of again, know
what must have happened to him.
''What?" asked the father. "He must
have been elected Vice President.
Boston belief had heard so much
about the exclusiveness of Philadelphia
ans that + was really surprised to find
what delightfuEp people tlleyare. l met
quite number at the springs and never
enjoyed myself better. Western belle
Well, that beats all Boston BELLE
Have you met anyof them !? Western
belle-You bet did, and they is just
the meanest, stiffest set1 ever did see.
They hai1'tA got no manners at all.
Them there Philadelphans hain't no
better nor / am if they did come over
with Bill Penn; and yet they move away
from me just as DeSlIl lttI " Spcdh.-
Philadelphia Cal.
ooh, n1yechild, howyiid your face be-
come So bruised ? Come to mamma,
and tell her, all about it." 'I-I-I was
over cross the road, playin' with Mis-
Howe's little girl boo-hoo-oo-oo-oo."
And did she hurt you like this?" Wy
y-y-e-s.p ,e'''WeH that was real naughty
in her. What did she do to little
Georgie?' FSh-sh-she knocked me
down, an-an-and then she hit me
w-wi-with brick, and pounded me
w-wi-with a b-r-o-om-s-t-i-c-k." "Oh,
dear, what terrible child. Well, don't
crv any more, Georgie. What were you
doing when this happened?" "Pl-pl-
playin' w-we wars married. ."-Er.
She read the papers.-NIrs. De Blank:
"Well, will try you if you have good
recommendation from your last place"
Domestic: ga what, mum ?N' "a rec
ommendation, a character" ga char
ack-ter, is it .ye want? An, sich, as you
ask me, me for a character? ?' We'll,
we'll, and why. not t?", "You, mum
voaa, the wife Of snake thafe, black
lee, william, the man what murdered
his grandmother, sure, and stole the
pennies from a dead pauper's eyes
you--'' "NIercy on us! What are
you talking about?" eyer william of a
husband, OF coorse. Sure didn't rade
the papers when he was runnin fur
nf1ire0r