Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-06-05
CALAMITY I'm CONVENTION.
A Case Of Domestic lnfeIcity that was Worse
! than hanging.


Calamity is the name of a man who
lives at the gold camp of Cummins City.
He has another name, but no one seems
to know what it is, It has been torn off
The wrapper some way, and so the boys
call him Calamity.
Last spring he had little domestic
trouble, and his wife made complaints
that Calamity had worn out an old long
handled shovel on her. trying to . con-.
vince her about some abtruce theory of
his. = r~s ..
+ The testimony seemed rather against
Calamity, and the miners told him that
as soon as they got over the rush little
and he had leisure, they would have to
bang him. They hoped he would take
advantage of the hurry of4business and
g9sawayy5, because.they didn't want to
hang him SO early in the season. : But
Calamity didR t 60 AWAY: He stayed
because it was easier torstay than it was
I'd go away, ~
+ One eEeBing after the work of the day
l.was ;donesafd: theaboys had eaten their.
suppsts, one of them suggested that it
would be a gOOd'time,to hang Calamity.
So they got things in shape and went
down to the big Larimie bridges,
Calamity was with them. They got
things. ready for the exercise to begin,
and then asked the victim if he had
anything to say. He loosened the rope
around his neck a little with one hand,
SO that he could speak with more free
dom, and holding his pantalOons on with
the other he said:
Gentlemen of the convention, call
you to witnessIhat this public demon
stratiOn toward me is entirely unsought
on my part. l have never courted mo-
toriety. g., -
plugging along in comparative OBJ
security is good enough for me. THIS is
the first time ever addressed an audi
ence. This is why am embarrassed
and i'll at ease.
''YOu have brought me here to hang
me because seemed harsh; and severe
with my wife. You have entered the hal
lowed precinct of my home life and as
suned the prerogative of subvertIng my
household discipline.
''It is well. do not care to live so
t'iong as my authority is questioned. You
! have already changed my submissive
wife to an arrogant and self-reliant
woman.
SCI have always been kind and thought
tul to her. When she had to up the
gulch ia tbs WINTER after frewoOd, nay
coat shielded her from thestorm while
sat in the cabin through the long hours.
l could name other instances of unself-
ishness en- my part, but will not take
up your time.
''Death with its wide waste of eternal
calms and its shoreleSs sea OF rest, is q
gIsd reAef 20 me. II gos but leave ia
5ydur midst = skittsh and abs- bodied
widow who will make Rome koSsl. TbS-
guea6h her to. this camp. She h vours
gentlemen. She is all have to give. but
In giving her TO you / feel that my I'm.
Timely death viii always be looked uDop
| an this. gIllch IS dire calamity.
.'Ths day win come when you will
look back upon this awful. night AID
wish that was alive again but il viii
be too late. will be far away. NV soul
viii bs in 8 land where domestic infelie-
ttS and cold feet can never enter -
When Calamity had finished, an inn
prOmptU eaaeOs wss called and when it
was adjourned Calamity went home 10
bis cabin TO surprise his vile. She hasn't
tnlly recovered, from the surprise as we
60 70 press.-l Las Vegas IN. NJ OPP