The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1884-07-05
NASBA.
Mr.. Nasty Gals Meeting, and Attempts
to Address It-Joe B'gler Forces
Himself to the From and Makes
the Speech Himself.
CoNFEpERIT y ROADS.
(Which is III the State nv hcntuckv.) ,

eternel vigilence is the price of liberty.
In the Unrest NV reform and pure Gov
ernment we must defect Blame, and to
defect Blame we must kerry 1njeanny,
aud to kerry Injeanny | determined to
git ready the men we shel send from Ken
lucky into Inieanny to vote, and hev 'em
in readiniss to go, eZ soon CT we know
that the price per he'd hez been pat mp in
hard cash. We are patriots, but we alluz
want to know first whether our candidate
hez bari, and second whether he is 60
ing to put it on tap.
Therefore called ncetin that mite
set the ball rollin, and commenst to
address it myself. | opened elokently ez
follows -
hcv to eXplanc-"
That WIZ all nv that speech witch |
ever delivered. That audashus wretch,
Joe Bigler, forced his way thro' the
! throng, and ascending to the pulpit re-
kested me to set down, wich did. When
he requests | alluz Go.
"Fcllcr citizens" said Josef, 1.-THE
word explain, wich our subsidized friend
| yooscd, reminds me nv an anecdote.
wife, and the wife went away from home
| to visit her mother to be gone some Two
weeks. She he'd iist got to the depot to
| take the trane when she remembered
suthin wich made it nessary for her to
return immeiitly to her peaceful home.
| She entered the front door and diskiv-
cred her husband on the stares, kissin her
servant gal. This wuz twenty yeers ago.
| The gentleman witch suffered WIZ mar
ratin the aflectin insidcnt to his friends
recently, and he remarked: ''Ard j-.,i-ist
| + tt-think NV t-t-thc o-n-r-r-reasou-
b-b-len-e-c-ss Nv w-w-w.w- omen. 1t
tt t-took me f-Efiiiteen ycers TO explain
that"
My friends, Dimocrisy hcz a very
similer experience. Originally he wuz
welded to the Goddls NV Liberty, and a
very promisin couple they wuz. But in
CalhoGn's time the Goddis caught him
kissin the old harlot Seceshn, and he hez.
bin 80 odd ycers cXplainin that. =
"Scasely wuz that fixed up when he
went sallivantin off after Slavery, the
elder sister NV Scceshn, and made war
upon Mexico at her biddin. He hez bia
over so yeers cXpainin that. =
| Comet more leavin his lawful bride, lac
took an excursion into Kansas, aud WIZ
KEEP NIFTY busy for sevral yeers explainia
! that.
Then Slavery and Seceshn jined
hands i'll 1861 and attempted to murder
his spouse, and he follered 'em blindly,
giving 'em all the help he could. He hez
bin explainin that for about II yeers.
From G5 to 1873 he made vigerus
effort to save the life NV both the old
| hays, and he hez he'd his hands full ever
since to eSplane that.
"Forgettin his marital vows he after
wards assaulted his wife $ fust cousin, the
Nashnel Credit, and insisted upon fiat
money and KILN off speshy payment, and
he hcz bin explainin that ever sence..
"And list now he is off on a expedition
with Free Trade, and he'll worry yer
souls out NV 700 for the next ten years
tryin to explane that.
lie prosecuted every unjust war we
hcv waged, and opposed the only Just one
we ever had and he hez bin explainin
that ever sencc.
lie rushed off into repoodiashen nv a
| ever sencc.
"lIe howled for speshy, when we oaght
10 hev coed paper mummy, and howled
for rag mummy when we ought to hev
nothin but SpcShy or its equivalent, and
he's bin explainin that ever sence.
''In brcci the fust thing Il Dimekratic
Speaker ailun does when he commences
his speech is to explain, and that Dixie
pies him till he closes.
My friends ther don't happen to be a
single thing Dimocrisy heZ attempted to
do that he hczn't bin compelled to cx-
| plane lie hcZ managed, with Il skill
wich is trooly wonderful, to git on the
wrong side nv every question that hez bin
before the Amerikin people ever sence he
wuz born. Ei there's sin wich he
hezn't taken to his bum aud fur witch he
is now cXplainin, don't happen to re-
member it. If Tiers a heresy he heZn't
sidid with, an error wich he heZn'u en-
braccd wrong witch he hezn't cham
witch he hczn't endorsed, hev forgotten
| it.
"Otller parties sometimes make mir,
takes-the Dimocrisy heZ week.-mrs. for
crime. 1t perpetooally wants to commit
murder without any reason for it. 1t is
the one party that never WIZ rite. One
der into dom TIE proper thing, but it
doesn't 1t hez the whiskey infooence
at its back, and it wood court Mormon
ism ef Utah had a electoral vote Their
ain t any sin wich it doesn't take to with
a relish, none wich its adherence won't
stumick. The Dimekratic stumick is
wuss nor an ostrich s-the ostrich kin
digest SIMPLE stoncs-Dimocrisy WAKES
strong on actooal pizen. 1t can't feed
on grass, and sweet corn wood turns its
s.umick. 1t wants still Stops with strick-
hin into it,
The Dimekratic party is like re-
trcetin army-it alluz heZ to look out fur
its recr. It's biggest enemy is it's past.
It's contiuyooally whitewashin it's past.
1t hez to spend it's entire time explainn
how it hezn't been RELY to blame fur be-
in id fool. It's
1t wuz high time for this sort NV talk
to stop, for the middle he'd really got the
atteushun NV the people. Their wuzn't
no yoose nv movin an adjernment, and
the people must be stampedcd sumhow.
Heroic treatment WIZ necessary. Calmly
| rose, and interruptin the speaker, re-
markt to the awjence -
Gentlemen, hcv recently he'd leg
acy left me, and rekest 700 all to ac-
| company me to Bascom's where | hev
several bottles dlawd from Il fresh bari,
wich you are welcom to. want 700 to
jinc me in drink
The cifeck WIZ elcctrikic. There wuz