The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-06-05
HUMOR.
What happy days in farm-iife spent

What happy days In farm life spentI
We didn't mind the weather,
But yoked the w ldest steers we had
:. And tied their tails together.
-Netoman Independent
AN Iowa family has cradle rocked
by wind-power. 1t is unnecessary to
add that the children are ready-made
congressman. Beacon.
"OH, yes, it was o horrible situs-
ton! My husband had disappeared
for two years and 1 did not know
whether he was living or dead" 1T
was, really, horriblep "Just think, it
was impossible for me to marry againl"
A GOOD old man up in Epping, N. H.,
went to prayer meeting the other night.
and unwittingly fell asleep. He was
called upon to offer prayer, and, being
dutifully punched by his better half,
beloved out: "Goldarn it, kindle it
yourself"
LONDON is building seven new hotels,
each with 1000 rooms. And there are
some men so unlucky that if they went
to the whole seven of them in the same
day, they would be sailed off to the
seventh floor and chucked into No. 999,
three in bed and two cots in the room.
-HaUkeye.
LITTLE Harold awoke very early one
morning, quite to his mothers disgust.
"Oh, Harold" she said, do lie still
and go to sleep again." "Mallma,"
called Harold, after some time vainly
spent in endeavoring to do what she
had hidden him, Il don't like to go to
sleep-I like to fall asleep"
THREE NEGATIVES.
Said 1 to Christie: kiss me Chris
But with indignant emphasis
Said she couldn't.
Twas plain my method was remiss,
So then boldly stole a kiss
For wait wouldn't
That she did not tai amiss,
And no complaint she made, but this,
oh Hal-you shouldn't
-Teras Strings.
MAMMA Katy chall choose q
wedding present herself to send to
Cousin Abbie from all these little
pieces of statuary. Which one will
Katy choose? Some of these figures
of little girls?' Katy Tin tears)-"I
sha'n't have any of 'em. There isn't
single one that has tucks in her skirt"
TOGETHER they were looking over
the paper. ooh, my, how funny"
said she. What is it?" he asked.
"Why, here's an advertisement that
says, No reasonable offer refused"
whats so odd about that?" Moth
ing," she replied. trying to blush, "only
those are my sentiments.
IT might be supposed that young men,
in seeking an education, would prefer,
Michigan University over all other in
situations of learning because it has an
Angel for President; but, all the
same, Yale College has the preference.
The latter has Professor Beers, and
too many students think that beers
more elevating than angels.
torn Herald.
A BUFFALO janitor kicked a can of
nitro glycerine and right then, for the
first time in his life, became really
active man, inaugurating proceedings
by turning q double somersault and
knocking out hodful of mortar and
brick with the back OF his head at one
end of the room. He continued the
performance by kicking down the stove,
pulling down the chandelier, and plow-
ing up the plaster with his nose. When
the nitro-glycerinc let the old man sit
down and take rest he looked mourn
fully at the remnants of the fragment of
tin that once held the chain lightning,
and said to the doctor: "Wal, if that
amt the quickest-temperedest stuff l
ever SOW. "-Philddelphia Republican.