davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-11-15

Her Ts-A Pennsylvania girl sned
former lover for breach of promise,
and produced several OF his letters with
postscripts containing promises Of mar
rage 10 subs.antiase her claim. The
court, however, threw the letters ont, in
.asmuch as it Was discovered that in the
postscripts, whenever the personal pro-
noun was necessary, . anau 81 was
used, while in the body Of tie letter it
appeared properly as q capital. showing
that the two parts Of the ep,suas had
not been written by the same hand
The Young woman lost her case, and
will probably learn to write properly be-
fore she tries that dodge agntn
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-11-15

"My young man is a contractor. she
said to q group Of envious young lady
friends. "A contractor p asked half .
dozen companions. Yes, o contractor.
He has contracted the habit Of tobacco
using. beer-drinking and gambling. be-
sides long list Of small debts" he
is almost as smart as one Of my admir-
ers," chimed in another young lady;
"he is an undertaken" IAN under
taker ?" came the chorus from the COM
pany. Yes, he undertakes to make me
believe that he is very handsome and
smart. He undertakes to make $50 q
month carry him through WHERE 800
could not pay ont, and undertakes TO
initiate sensible people at times, but
gives himself ay."-Lincoin Union
TRAMP.
He was tramp, and when he had
carefully scanned the backyard for the
expected woolpile and found none. he
quietly slid around, and, knocking at
the front door, began his story OF mis-
fortune and his inability to get work
Yes" said the farmer who was OF .
classic turn, "but labor conquers all
thing-'; you remepber the old saw.
don't you?' "YesS indeed l do" said
the wayfarer, as tearsstarted to his eyes.
"and the remembrance is indeed pain
full, but as l came along didn't see
any hanging up on the back Of the
hourse, so | thought I would ask fog
something to eat. Yes, remember the
old saw, and the woodpile. too. but have
no use for them; good day." And he
vanished into the whereness Of the
whittier Boston Post.
TWO DIFFERENT KINDS.
Bob Nlckleby married wealthy old
maid for her money. She paints herself
up and makes quite a handsome appear
ance at distance, at balls and parties.
On the other hand, Sam Chuzzlewits
wife is young and goodlooking naturally.
/ Both we're in attendance at q ball on
| Austin avenue, and Mrs. NickIeby WAS
painted like doll Next morning
NIckeby met Chuzzlewit and said:
"Our wives looked beautiful at the
ball last night"
Yes" responded Chuzzlewit. "and
my wife looks that way yet 7exas
HUtirgs.
THE CHINESE PCZZLE
Oh. bring ma "a map ot the sat os waE
/ ear the '-lus on the river Min
wafIt IN where the inis~Iis tsse
Through far Fo,ct.ow aith devils din.
Just show m b"-.nng and Snen-choo;
And where. On. whsfs IL hH5-t4---h.nf
Choo-f hoo. tlang chow. ami sh:re Cha-ooI
Ii HiLg-sha far from ien-pingf
yearn t. know o! II c-etIs ching.
long to 81" The i<h Nan ling,
Howeser wb4lfh II heii x. il
II kiahg-si u view Toons-tin22
s.. bring inc & map oi III" te..t II war
want - .catu shsie tlt fight il yotng.
Ard whl.s- am los klu2 IN more.
IL pray fur the ai - If gfeAt Qaang-tung
~ Ilaltsrt4. f5PIJ ~ fasf1aa.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-11-15

Lizzy says she will love you dearly.
Lizzv is such famous little housekeep-
er. She thinks it will be SO pleasant to
have you sitting by our hearthstone
And, uncle, You will 60 and see her to-
morrow, won't your"
YES" said Uncle Cuthbert, briefly,
"I'li CO."
Aud the next day Lizzy was surprised
at her sewing by brown-faced, little,
old man, who abruptly took both her
hands in his and imprinted q kiss upoa1e
her crimson forehead, just as if he was
the oldest acquaintance in the world |
$50 you're going to marry my nephew,
Lizzy, are you?'' said Uncle Cuthbert.
eyes, sir" Lizzy made answer, tim
idly.
"And you love him, Lizzy?"
"Oh, yes, sir"
"And you won't object to having the
old man numbering round the house,
helpless and feeble though he be2''
81 shall he SO glad to have you live
with us, sir, for I never remember my
father-and-you will be like one to me,
I am sure"
Uncle Cuthbert kissed her again. and
walked away as abruptly as he had
come.
"He's very funny old gentleman"
thought Lizzy, "but know shall like
him"
Rosa contemplated the present state
of affairs very coolly-a little contempt
uously, in fact.
eff you choose to adopt all Clarence
Hvde's poor relations. why, I can only
wonder at your taste" she said, loftily.
But Lizzy only smiled, and doubted
to herself whether Rosa could really
ever have loved Clarence.
"No, no, no |" echoed her hear
The day of the wedding drew near.
Lizzy's white dress was nearly finished,
and modest little presents were begin
ming to be sent in from friends and
neighbors.
Here's my present." said Uncle
! Cuthbert, walking in one day, and toss
ing little box of carved wood into
Lizzv's lap II cut out those wooden
flowers myself, WREN l was in Cali
fornia.
''Oh. Uncle, what dear little box,
said Lizzy, smiling her bright thanks,
while Rosa elevated her nose rather
scornfully.
"Well, open it; it's lined beautifully -
said the old man.
! Lizzy obeyed.
'Why, there's a parchment chart il
it, Uncle, cried the astonished Clarence
who was leaning over Lizzy's shoulder
"And SO there is-a deed making ovel
$50, 900 to Lizzy Eldon the day of hel
marriage" answered Uncle Cuthbert
dryly, "and I've just got another one fol
you at home, Clarence, my boy! Aha
the old uncle was not 80 very poverty
stricken after all. You mustn't think
my young lady," he added, turning
abruptly to Rosa, "that gold isn't golt
because it is trile tarnished and rusty
Appearances aren't anything in thi
world II
And so Clarence and Lizzy began tn
world with the fairest of prospects, ant
true love enough to float the bark O
life into the sweetest haven.
Rosa Eldon was somewhat chagrine.
in her secret soul, but she wisely KEEP
her secret to herself, and old Uncl
Cuthbert was quite satisfied with tn
choice his nephew had made.
''She's worth twice hundred thou
sand dollars in her own sweet self, Clal
ence." he said, confdentially, to Nh
Hyde, junior.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-11-15

A PARTISAN doctor prescited for
young .ady who had objections agains,
growing stout: Take exercise, my dear
gsrl. Coagiae. The trees Of the feld;
they never take exercise. and Al o con-
sequence they 60 On growing bigger and
bigger every yeax.''
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-11-15
FOOLED ESor1H.

couple OF Englishmen once started
from Denver for the foothills, Judging
them 10 be four miles of. Alter walk
ing eight miles and finding themselves
apparently no nearer TO the range, they
came 10 the Denver irrigation ditch,
about four feet wide.
One OF them stopped On the bank and
began to strip. his companion exclaim-
ing:
"Why, wha. are you going to do p
Il am going TO swim the river"
why, man. it's . ditch. and only
yard or so acrgesT
How do know 1t isn't quarter Of
a mile? We've been fooled enonyh
already. and I'm not going 70 risk
wei;ing; you can jump il you ike"
SPECIMEN OF Frs.
The other day little cLerub Of bnt
very few summer-. sa, at the window Of
her resiience on Els. Fourth street,
when a genuine dude walked ~esriiv hy.
His legs were phantom like, his shoes
i7ng and pointed, his dress foppash. be
~or. "a single evcglass ani carried a
diIalnut!ve rattan Gaze. Az Il. stared
abon, .dlo;ic@lIy the little one said:
Mamma. m Dol make =: man r
Yes, NJ dak fling
The lit;ie oas io5Eed again and gig
g!ed, and ~lta a I4ery twinkle IL hs'
eye, said:
Mamma, D1i likes 70 have fun des'
a. much Is anybody, doa's He -"-.M.
Pau Herald
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-11-15
TIE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN THEM TU kNlt-n
OVER THIS WEEK.

Tho Chine.e Puxz,e-The (:irts T1ttered-A
Lu Ky Number What PaSxtrd HIN
Two Different ktnds-The Tramp ana
" oodptte. Etr.
Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1884-11-15

How ARE times with you, nowadays 2"
asked Al oli rcsidea: D. Aust.a, CT a
c<sIorea barber. Il nebbe- seed en- 50
tad, toss." You don'. nave r.aeh 70
do-s' II reckon not, boss Tines am
50 hard ia. outer ten men, e!eb-A doa't
ge, ,taat--d a. al, and al thu rest silah-1
'enselves. "-zzoS S.ftis.gs.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Married by Power of Attorney.

. One day last week young lady ar
rived at New Bedford, Conn, on the
bark Veronica from Fayal. This young
lady was married at the islands several
weeks ago, yet singularly the first
glimpse of her husband was obtained
through the cabin window of the Veron-
ica. as he stood on Propeller wharf i'm
patiently waiting for the vessel to come
alongside the dock. The courtship had
neen conducted by friends of the young
people. Photographs were exchanged
and the compact was made. The BRIDE
q Dom forwarded a power of attorney,
and the ceremony of marriage was per-
formed by priest at Fayal, marrying
the young girl to man thousands of
niles away. When they met in the cab
N the girl blushed, the husband smiled
and they prosaically shook hands. Each
was apparently completely satisfied with
heir venture, and the husband bore his
young wife proudly away.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
walking from rsu xorr to nat.

Olnton, Wis, Herald: Clinton had quite a
curiosity yesterday, it being nothing less than
a man, wife and three children, who left New
YORK YORK city last May and had since walked thus
far, being on their way to Dakota Their
household goods they had loaded in a two
wheeled cart, which they had drawn the en-
nre distance, and which needed repairing at
TINS TIM point The man thought that this far
west was little dangerous and so bought a
revolver to protect himself The children's
ages were nine, seven and four years. The
youngest had been drawn in the cart portion
OF the time, but the balance of them had walk
ed every step of the way.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Operations in Pills.

Mr.. Ingram, the founder and proprie
tor ofthe illustrated London News, made
his first fortune by PARIS life pills, as
Holloway did by his. Mr.. ingram used
to say that he always noticed on market
days at Nottingham that general pur-
chasers gave the preference to goods
which were advertised with cuts. So he
put an imaginary picture of old Parr on
the front of his advertisement, with
good effect. Holloway followed his
example. He confined himself to
mouev-making, however, whereas Ing
ram was socially ambitious, eager for
admission to society, and was M. P. for
Boston at his death. He had very
handsome country-seat adjoining his
paper mills, in Herts, where on Sundays
he entertained large parties of brother
NJ. P.'s. He was in some respects very
democratic, dining in his shirt sleeves
every week day at one with his printers
and employees at the Rainbow, which
was near the Offices Of the Illustrated
News.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Story of the Demsn+sd Editor.

Not more than dozen people IN Chicago
ever knew Wilbur F. Storey intimately. No
wonder he lost his mind He did enough to
kill dozen men. For years he was the editor
in-chief, man aging editor and night editor of
the Times He never had any words of ap-
provaL If things were satisfactory he said
nothing. One day when the Times had about
dozen big scoops" on its contemporaries,
the editor summoned the heads of departments
to his room and said is was ''simply damna-
BILE" that the paper had been cleft" ON the even
ing proceedings of grange convention some
where "D-such paper" said the old man
impatiently, 'if we can't do better than that
I'll buy farm"
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
RemorsefuI Murderer.

Nearly two years ago a farm. .hsnt
murdered a shepherd in one of the
distant precincts ofGermany. The n1ur.
erer, in order to escape the wrath of jus
tice fed to America. Last September
he sought and was given work by Bap
tist Deuster, farmer living near Haw.
ley, Penn, but the realization that he
was murderer and the fear of beiut
captured and sent back to the scene OF
his crime so proved upon his mind that
his actions were the comment of Deus
ter's family. All efforts to ascertain
from him the cause of his singular a c.
tons were unsuccessful, the only
reply to their inquiries being: 81 have
had great sorrow" The other day Mr..
Deuster sent the young man to a neigh.
boring house on an errand. The hired
man knocked on the door of the house,
and it was opened by lady. The man
stepped inside. the la ly threw mp heI
hands, and staggering back into a chair
exclaimed in German: "My God! the
man who killed the shepherd" The
man turned pale, but quickly GAMMA
his composure, Instantly transacted
his business and departed. The next
morning his body was found hanging
to beam In his room. The neighbours
wife called soon aiterward and told the
story. She wa in Germany at the time
of the murder of the shepherd, and had
seen the young murderer very often, but
never knew his name. Soon after she
left for Germany for the states. She
never forgot the face of the murderer,
and instantly recognized it on the morn
ing of their meeting.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Kate Field at Salt Lake.

Miss Kate Field repeated her lecture
IN Evenings with dickens" in Salt
Lake City for the benefit of the Mormon
Hospital, She spoke in Social Hal" a
Mormon building, dedicated by Brigham
Young, and is probably the first Gentle
who ever stood on its platform. Her
audience were almost exclusively Nor
mon, attentive, but unresponsive. Just
before the lecture began Governor Muir
ray entered, and his entrance created
considerable remRrk, the lines are so
strongly drawn there between Saint"
and Gentle. When questioned as to
why he came, Governor Murray replied: !:
Il wanted to show nv respect for Miss
Field, and thought wherever she could
Afford to go, could. Moreover, wish
to support everything in Utah that Is
compatible with loyalty to the Govern
ment."
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
There Shall be no Aims.

When Napoleon talked of invading Italy one
of his officers said: "But, sire, remember the
Alps" To an ordinary man these would have
seemed simply insurmountable, but Napoleon
responded eagerly: "There shall be no Alps +"
80 the famous SimplOn pass was made. Dis
ease like mountain stands in the way of fame,
fortune and honor to many who by DIR. Pierce s
"Golden Medical Discovery might be healed
and so the mountain would disappear. 1t is
specific for all blood, chronic lung and liver dis
eases, such as consumption (which is scrofula
of the lungs,) pimples, blotches, eruptions tu-
mors, swellings, fever-sores and kindred COM
plants.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
sEurrED AND SWALLOWED.
asrvlea or Applisd-Never Used without
Relief.

aarqled or Applted-Aever Used without
Relief
Mrs E. I. Sykes, 50 Chestnut street. Spring
seld Ohio 'su6ering," she says, perfect tor
,rre with pain and soreness through back and
obest and her husband troubled with dry.
boarse cough Cboth cured by this oiD make
,srticular mention of its soothing and healing
effects"
Charles Reed, S54 Jackson street, Milwaukee,
Wis. who was in the explosion at the Grand
Opera House in that city, January IS, 1888,
speaks of it as "a very reliable and very safe
medicine" He sustained painful injuries in
this accident With the use of the Oil he was
able TO get out in a few days.
Rev. E. F. Crane, Dunkirk, N. Y, speaks in
glowing terms of Dr. Thomas Eclectric Oil as
a remedy for catarrh and says, 'notwithstand-
ing the delicate nature Of the mucuous mem
brane of tina nasal organs the Oil can be snuffed
up with perfect impunity."
There is no doubt about its absolute safety.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
In the Shade.

Hon r. Q. Payne, City Alderman, Brisbane.
Queensland, Australia, writes: 81 have been q
great suffer with rheumatism for years and
have tried every known remedy, including
galvanic batteries and Turkish Baths Final
~ tried st Jacobs Oil the great pain-cure
and can positively say in gave me instantane-
GUS relief. 1t puts all other remedies in the
shade"
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Yonnr nneni-Read This

The VoLTAIC BELT Co., of Marshall, Mich,
offer to send their celebrated ELECTRO -VoLTAIC
BELT and other ELECTRIC APPLIANCES on trial
for thirty days, to men young or old afflicted
with nervous debility loss of vitality and all
kindred troubles Also for rheumatism, neu-
ralgia, paralysis, and many other diseases.
Complete restoration to health, vigor and man
hood guaranteed. No risk is incurred as thirty
days trial is allowed Write them at once for
illustrated pamphlet free.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
pesp1se Not the DAY OF small Thinra.

Little things may help man to rise-a bent
pin in an easy char for instance. DIR. Pierces
pheasant PurgatiYe Pellets" are small things,
pleasant to take, and they cure headaches,
relieve torpid livers and do wonders Being
purely vegetable they cannot harm any one
All druggists.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

An Invaluable Remedy.-None except those
who have suffered all the horrors ofDyspepsia,
can fully appreciate the value and efficacy of
Perry Davis Pain Killer, a sovereign remedy
for this distressing disease in all its forms is
used internally and externally, test its virtues
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

'T have been dreadfully troubled with dis
ease of the kidneys and liver during the past
six months. Hunts kidney and liverl REMEDY
has made me a new man" Isaac w. Fair
brother Providence, r. L
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Pure Cod Liver Oil made from selected lvers,
IN the ashore. by CAswELL HAZARD Co, New
York 1t is absolutely pure and sweet. Patients who
nave once taken it prefer it to all others. physicians
decided it superior to any ofthe other OILS In mar
Iet.
Chapped Hands, Face Pimples, and rough
skin cured by using UNIPE TAR SOAR, made by GAS
WELL HAzAED & CO., New York.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Don't BE SwindIed.

The only genuine German Hop Bitters and
White Wine of Tar Syrup are DR.. G. D. War
ner's whose name appears on every bottle, la
bel and wrapper of the genuine.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Aliens Iron Tonic Bitters stirs up the torpid
Liver to action, and knocks dyspepsia higher
than kite. All genuine bear the signature of
j. p. Allen, Druggist st Paul, Minn.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
rarrners and stookmen.

The only remedy that readily cures Calls, Cuts and
Wounds on horses and cattle, and always brings the
nar in the original color is Veterinary Carbosave. In
So cents and 81 90 cans, at Druggists or by mail
j. W. Cole & Co., Props, Black River Falls, Wis.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Maid of Anthems.

What is the difference between this noted
Lady and Carboline the great Hair Renewer?
Ans.-One is Maid of Anthems and the other
is Made of Petroleum and both come from
Grease.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Piso's Cure for Consumption does not dry
up cough; it removes the cause.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Tue best place to obtain good business ed
ucation is at the N. W. Business College, Mad
ison, Wis. Send for Catalogue.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

"Rough on Itch" cures humors, eruptions, ring
worms letter, salt rheum, frosted feet, chilbains
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

The only genuine German Hop Bitters are
those made by DR.. G. D. Warner, whose name
appears on every bottle and label
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Bishop Pierce, senior of the Baptist church
of the South, died at Augusta, Ga, recently
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Tke forthco ming Congressional Di-
rectory will state that Thomas P.
Ochlltree, of Galveston, is the first ma
ave Texan ever elected to the congress
81 the United States"
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

''Buchu-Paiba Quick, complete, cure all
annoying kidney and urinary diseases. 81.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

1t is authoritatively denied that Cyrus W.
Field will fit out polar expedition
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

A fortune of $4,000 is waiting for Benjamin
f. Mead at New York.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Pile tumors cured in ten days, rupture in four
weeks: Address, Worlds Dispensary Medical
Association, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

seRough on Corns." 15c. Ask for it. Com
plete cure, hard or soft corns, warts, bunions.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18
Look wen at the Name.

''Rough on Rats" Clears out rats, mice, flies,
reaches, bed-bugs ANTS, vermin, chipmunks. l5c
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

John Splan argues that Jay-Eye-See is bet
ter horse than MaudS.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Daniel MeGebory, fireman on the tug Paize,
was drowned at Duluth Tuesday morning
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Petersburg, Va, cotton factories have shut
down.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

The Minnesota elevator company, Red Wing,
assigns.
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

Robbers relieved Conductor Ryan. of the
Canadian Pacific, of 81 900 at Medicine Hat
The Mineral argus., 1884-09-18

The reputation Of
Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters as a preven-
tive Of epidemics, a
stomachic, an invig-
GRANT, a general re
storative, anda speci-
fic fcs feverand ague,
indigestion. bilious
affections, rheuma- .
tism, nervous debil
ity, constitutional
weakness is estab
lished upon the
sound basis of more
than twenty years
experience, and can
n more be shaken by
the claptrap nos
trums of unscientifc
pretenders, than the
everlasting hills by
the winds that rustic
through their defiles.
For sale by all Drug
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-07-19
Grants Troubles.

General Grant goes about very
little. His Arabian horses and
nearly all the rest of his absolute
property has gone to his creditors
He has nothing to live on now but
the income which he receives from the
estate OF the late Governor Morgan
1t was Governor Morgan who most
strongly favored the Investment of the
trust fund raised for General Grant in
Wabash bonds. He guaranteed pay
ment OF the interest on the securities
for ten years. The bonds now sell nj
about fifty per cent When the peri
cd for which the Morgan estate is
bound shall have expired the General
will have nothing, unless, what now
seems improbable there should be q
return of of prosperity to Wabash
The General feels his reverses keenly
He seldom refers to them and never
whincs. The rayageS of misfortune
are, however, clearly shown in his
face and manner. As he still uses d
crutch lie takes little exercise. Never
tEelcss, he has lost much flesh anC
looks haggard.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-07-19
How Funny Old Love Letters Read.

A lady of the North Side, says a re-
porter was looking over bundle of
old love letters recently, and glanced
upon this one from her husband in
his halcyon days, and she read it to
him.
"Sweet idol of my lonly heart, if
thou wilt put thy hand in mine, and
say, Dear love, I'll be thy bride, we'll
fly to sunny Italy, and meath soft ce-
rulean skies we'll bask and sing and
dream of naught but love. Rich and
costly paintings by old masters shall
adorn the walls of the castle I'll give
thee. Thy bath shall be of milk. A
box at the opera shall be at thy COM
mand, and royalty shall be thy daily
visitor Sweet strains of music shall
still thee at eventide, and warbling
birds shall wake thee from thy morn
ing slumber. Dost thou accept? Say
Yes and fly, oh, fly with me"
"And hew," said the wife: "but il
| had been AS fly as | am now
wouldn't have flown. "--BloOmiagton
Eye.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-07-19
ARTHUR'S DISAPPOINTMENT.
The President Deeply Grieved
by His Failure at tIle Chicago
Convention.

LONG BRANCH, July ia friend of
Present Arthur's, man who has
he'd high office, said this morning
"The President could have secured a
nomination if he had exercised any
real ability. With all the official pat
ronage at his command the chances
were even, or what!was probably more
nearly the case, in his favor. But he
did not know how to handle his reins.
The fact is he' was not well. He has
been quiet and dull | don't know
what is the matter. sat with him
OH the piazza of the White House and
talked while music was playing, but
he did not seem to take interest in
anything. He would sit down beside
a lady even at an entertainment and
say hardly Il word to her. His disap-
pointment at his failure to secure the
nomination was, ! believe, very great.