The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-05-07
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Under a cloud-An umbrella.


The man who 'found his leveln was
carpenter, of course. Boston Bulletin.
The best hand to hold in the game of
life is that of your best girl Waterloo
Observer
One good thing may be said of the
pawnbroker-he sticks to his pledges.
S0merDiLLe Journal.
A Vermont man has been married six
times, and he's the citizen they always get
to go first in bear hunt. t.-B0st0R Post.
1t doesn't speak much of the size of a
man s mind when it takes him only min
ute to make it up,-NelO York Graphic
An English paper says that American
are good listeners. Our invention of the
telephone proves it.-NeiO York journal.
1t seems strange that a man should
hurt himself when he drops on side
walk. Down is so soft, you know
SJtings.
Every affliction has its blessing. The
man with a wooden leg never knows what
it is to have rheumatism in that ankle
Chicago San.
A linen shirt was first worn in Eng
man in our office yesterday who had on
that identical shirt Rocbtand Courier.
A fashion item declares that the long
train is going out of fashion. Let 'em
60 This is the kind of departing train
that no one will care if they do miss
Statesman.
"There is a species of lizard that can
throw off its tail at pleasure" Insthis it
resembles the writers of serials for the
story papers, albeit the latter throw off
much the longer tails. s.-N01ristOaon Herald.
When young man lays siege to a
young lady, and insists upon her con
senting to become his wife, she cannot
but confess that he is ga man after her
own heart,n however heartless she may
appear. Chicago Sun.
An iceberg 110 miles long was seen by
the steamer Norseman on her way from
Liverpool to New York, and perhaps the
Arctic regions and the north pole, in order
to avoid giving us any further trouble,
are coming down here Chicago Times
"My DEAR said Mr.. Muckleham to
his wife, those hams bought the other
day are so badly spoiled they cannot be
eaten" "What pity" his wife re-
piled. "Guess we'd better send them
out to the charity hospital. ."-ArbansaU
1ra0eLer.
AS somewhat of an inducement TO anna.
teurs we take this method of announcing
that everyone sending us a poem on
"Spring" this year will receive a pound
of dynamite done up in beautiful sheet
of colored tissue paper. Now is the time
to get up clubs. - Chicago Ne1os.
A loving father at Clayton, N. Y, in
his anxiety to marry off his daughters
(ifteen in number) as quick as possible,
has killed his dog, taken the locks of his
doors, and hung rope ladders over his
dooryard by the dozen, and still his pro-
vision bill is as large as ever.-Bssmdrcb
Tribune.
The pleasurable part; An Austin man,
who has just got out book of poems,
met Gilhooly, and the following pro-
ceedings were had; ''Did you read my
new book2" "Oh, yes, read it. y How
did you like it2" my dear sir, assure
you that l laid it aside with great deal
of pleasure. "-Ieras Sytinys
Z" fyou don't marry me, he exclaimed,
"Tll take myself out of this hated world
and I'll haunt you as long as you livel"
Said She sit will be more respectable
than your present haunts. Please stand
| little further off. l never could bear the
smell of alcohol so soon after tea. Dos
ton Transcript.
/ GAN this hard wood you export, - the
English tourist asked the Indiana lumber
man, ''all this maple and beech, you
know, where does it go ~ And the man
told him that most of it went direct to
Scotland, where it was worked up into
bol n and churns and paper folders from
tn lters of Burns cottage and the home
ofoir Walter Scott" And the tourist
said ''Haw, and wrote something in hi9
notebook. Haekeye.
Over SOC. 900 rose tees are annually