Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-04-21
BRIGHT BITS.

"PAP, why don't you plant some straw in
your gardenY" "What for, child?' why,
so We'll have strawberries. "-KeRtuckg State
Journal.
\ FEW DAYS AGO the finest vessels that came
into Philadelphia were owned by Quakers, but
now. alas! the days of Friend ships are over
PHILADELPHIA Chronicle.
Miss Lucy VAN. of Elgn, H., became IN
sane over the groundless ISLANDERS which a
few gossips circulated concerning her. 1t is
a pity she didn't use the prerogatiye OF in
sanity and murder the gOssips.
APPARENT remarks, 'If the child does not
sleep well. give him 4 bath before going TO
bed 1t is an excellent sedative." The back
Of a stout-handled hair brush judiciOusly ap
piled is also an excellent sedative.
TIE Louisville Courier-Journdl speaks of a
lady of 10, dressed in petticoat, jacket and
SLOUGH hat. ''She was not only handsome, but
strong as n mule This latter statement is
considered very high praise in Kentucky.
OK PARK Row this morning we heard gen.
teman say to an acquaintance: "Oh, yes,
Charley is a good fellow, but unreasonable,
and just as Ot-headed as NesuVlusp "Ah."
replied the other, ''you win lava joke. Let's
go and get drop of the crater!'-Free Press.
MARK TWAIN says he has retired from the
lecture platform. The great trouble with
Mark as a lecturer was, that Notwithstanding
he had 5000 a night, it made him mad when
he spoke to $500 house, and realized that
somebody else was making the other sl00. He
considered it a clear case of highway robbery.
-RockIapd County Courier.
''WHAT is de meanin' O. steelin'? It's takin'
erwav an 'prOpreatn' fur yer own use suthin'
whut dOan long ter YER" THAT is a very
good explanation the Judge replied, 'but
you appropriated the AK to your own use."
mo didn't, sab. get de ak fur my wife ter
use. Doan think dat Use gwine ter chop wood
when dars oman round de house, does yer?
Ken go home, Jedge?"
''I'LL bet bottle of champagne that's
married couple remarked a swell. standing
at the window of a fashionable club house,
and watching lady and gentleman who were
crossing the street during a heavy shower. 81
can't imagine your reason for saying So" re-
piled his companion. Its plain enough.
Don't you see the centre of the umbrella is
over his head, not over her's?'-BrOOklVH
Eagle.
JOE JEFFERSON is playing LEND Me Five
Sbillings," in Boston, which revives the remi-
niscence that when the author of the piece,
John NJ. Morton, was Government Censor OF
London theatres, our own American Falstaf
Hackett brought him a play called "COusin
john" which he recognized as a harmless
perversiOn of his own piece. SO he Endorsed
it and added: "Siuce Hackett has hacked it,
let i'm hackt it,"
CURIOUS FOLKs.-"What's that YOU'VE got in
your apronE" asked lady of her cOlOred cook
who was in the act Of going home. "Who,
me-" Eyes. you" ''Whut's got in dis yeah
ap'un?". Eyes, in that there apron" ''Vid-
which was nearly large enough for a wagon
cover. You ought to be ashamed Of yourself,
for you have taken nearly everything in the
house. thought you were a church member"
Hold on right wh9r We is, lady. Oar wuz
two pies in de safe, and l tuck one. Oar wuz
two lOaves o. bread, an / only tuck one. l
tuck ha'f O. de meat and ha'f o de Odder stuff.
Ef | want a church member I'd er tuck all.
Thinks dat Use acted far ter leah yer ha'f.
Use gwineterq quit wOrkin' fur SIGH cuis folks"
-Arkdasa1C TFaUeHer.