The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-02-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A true saving: wv men Ulu well
I heard it never; when L did i'll, hearc
it ever" IN. Y. Herald.
"A Butler man in Springfield, Mass.
is wearing a straw hat, which he is MOI
to change until the General is electeC
again.-Boston Post.
-'Your father is entirely bald now
isn't he?" said an Austin man to the
son of a millionaire. YES" replied
the youth, sadly, I'm the only heir he
has left. "-TerGs Sittings.
Although women have the right tt
propose in leap year, there is no law
that compelS the men to say yes. Thi;
fact ought to encourage young men t.
stand firm. Philadelphia Herald.
-"Yes. " said Henderson. .'N1iss Forte
plays beautifully. l don t know any.
thing about music myself, but | know
she's splendid player, because all the
other PLAYERS say her music is just hor.
rid. ."--BOston Transcript.
The girls have formed their plans
for leap year. To the bashful lover
thev will say, ''Do you like homemade
breadP" If he says Yes" the reply
will be, ''Well, can bake" Then il
he doesn't take the hint, they are tc
seize both his hands, fall on their knees
and put the question direct.-TonkerS
Gazette.
At a party: Merchant-''Ahih how
DIDO, Mr.. Blank? How is your paper
coming out? 1 read it daily. By the
way, you are getting up a report of this
grand assembly, l suppose?' Editor
"No. BY the way, how is your store
coming on? My cook buys a good deal
of YOU. You are here drumming up
custom, 1 suppose. ."-Phaadetptia CaH.
-"How long do you think it will
take you to cure me, doctor! Nv ell
Mr.. Blank, 1 think you can get back tc
YOUR desk at the bank in about month,
! but YOU will have to remain under treat,
ment several years" 'But you mis-
take. l am not Mr. Blank the banker
but Mr.. Blank the postman. 80, thai
alters the case. There is nothing the
matter with you but little biliousness
You will be we'll in a week. "-BOSton
Post.
A burly, weather-beaten tramp re
Gently entered bank, and, addressing
the urbane cashier, asked for five shill
ings. Five shillingsr' exclaimed the
cashier, isn't that rather high?
should think three-pence. would b'
about YOUR size, wouldn't it?' ''Well,
said the tramp, ''if you think you un
derstand this begging business bette
than do, perhaps we had best chang'
places. If it suits you I'm agreeable.
-DstrOt Free Press.
Plantation Philosophy: Too muci
perfume makes a man sick. De sweet
es' smell in all de worl is nuthin'
When de. curmunity takes up de notion
dat a man is er fool, dar ain much us'l
him kickin' agin de Judgment
[ ain afferd o. de man what frown
hen he gifts mad, but de man wha
,miles when he's mad makes me fee
Mighty Uneasy . De man what goe
er church de mos ain alters de shO' es
roin' ter heaben. De duck washe
lisse'f heep oftener den de turkey, bu
airter all he ain ha'f ez clean.-Arkarl
san TrGceLer.
There are forty-three registered
bowling clubs for ladies in New Yorl
and eight in Brooklyn, four Of the LAT
er having connection with young peo
lle's church societies, while there ar
any number of public places in Ne1
York where private alley is reserve
or lady patrons, writes correspond
,nt from the metropolis. Some OF tn
older clubs for ladies have adopted
very comfortable, natty uniform G
1avy-blue flannel, very much like tn
avn tennis costumes, save that tn
kirts are in the shape of very room
Dantaloons, the bottoms of which reac
% the shoe tops. most sensible dress
| ndeed.-N y. GrGphic.