Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1884-03-26
The Bad Boy ON rheumatism.

There, now, what is your lip hang
Jog down that way for?' said the gro
Gerry man to the bad boy as he came 10
With an expression on bis face OF sor-
row such as the grocery man had not
seen before. Brace up, now. and have
some style about you. What's the
matter?'
Nothing the matter with me- said
the boy, as he looked around the
grocery to see if be couldn't find some
thing that would taste good TO a sick
boy. L am all hunky, but my chum
has got the rheumatiz.'
We'll, you heartless old man, you
You never had a chum, did you! II
you eyer had chum tnat you loved,
bad stood by YOU 10 all kinds OF weather,
who would work bis finger nails off for
you, and 90 without eating and Sleep
ing TO make you happy. you could never
talk that way. Never had the rheu-
matlz, did you?'
No, never, had It, said the grocery
man. Il had brother .in-law who had
it once. but he cured himself eating
snow
oh, get out said the boy. Since
my chum has had rheumatlz, every old
crank has told me new cure Tor 1t,
and l think will try some new remedy
on him, but when 90 to his room, and
see the good doctor who has been
brought up amongst rheumatic, and
tell him of the new remedy l have
heard of, and he tells me it is all
nonsense, that settles It. The idea oil
curing rheumatic by eating snow ! Say
isn't it queer about catching rheumatic.
1t is like lottery. Forty fellows may
have the same chance 10 draw a rheu-
matte prize, and only one gets 1t sawed
off onto him. Now me and my chum
were both in the same daft of air, and
both had right to catch the Sheumatiz.
All 1 got was wind on my stomach,
and l slode down hill head 1rst, on my
sled, aud .he rheumatic has all blowed
away from me. My chum went riding
iu coupay. and he got it. Sliding
down bill knocks rheumatic better than
eating snow. Say, | would like to rue
this world for about a month. BY
gosh. 1 would arrange it so nobody bu
the mean people would be sick. II
seems too bad 10 have these palniu
diseases strike the best people in The
world, don't 1t a? If had the running o.
things. rheumatic should never attack
such a good fellow as my chum. l
would have 1t lay for thieves and sand
baggers, and mWderers, and highway
robbers. ana old sharks that never dC
any good nohow, and keep its claws OF
Of folks tha. never did any harm and
had kind word for everybody. Bu
these diseases seem TO have their trap
set for the best people, ant the thieves
and burglars are the hcalthlest OF the
lot. If things were rem right rheu
matiz ought to be detective that woul'
catch a horse thief just as be wa
stealing the horse. and make him droE
the halter and send for doctor. l
/ was bosslng rheumatic l would have
If act as a reformatorv agent instead o
going aro,., nd careless and picking on t(
,boroughbreds. I would have it watcl
q moan man when he was gong 10 d.
som ething mean he N.SS gong ~ ~
something mean and take .'oio o' III"
and give his muscles twist, a. W '"s
let up and it he kept on, take him y
the neck aud double him up and make
him yell. But l must go and do my
chum's chores for his ma, and then &C
aud sit no with him. What you got II
this ranch that would taste good to a
feller that hadn't got no appetizer p
'Oh, | don't know '.said the grocer
man, unless you try some Of those
dried apples, dried by steam.'
'Tha; is specimen of the. way YOU
would treat a chum if you hae
one who was sick. You make me
tired. Haven't you got any; Malaga
grapes or Florida .oranges2 Nothing but
dried apples and prunes. Bah y an'
the boy went off 70 stay by his chum
p eck's Sun. 49, -,-