The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-07-17

An exchange thus fifty sums up the
compilation of crudities ycleped the
Republican platform:
We reaffirm our adherence to the
principles OF addition, division and 81
lence, and congratulate the American
people on the records of the credit
mObilier, the whisky rings, the star
route enterprises, the big and little
land steals, and general encouragement
of cuteness and cunning among oui
citizens.
The Republican party has been quick
to make all SORTS Of promises, and il
the people are not cOntented it accepts
anew the task of making more. f..
We lament the death of Garfield al
the hands Of an office seeker ,and hope
this deal there may be offices enough
TO go around. .....
We cordially endorse and emphati
cally sit down upon the administration
of Chet Arthur.
1t is the first duty of wise party to
protect its friends. We therefore de.
mand the imposition of duties on for
eign imports, not for revenue only, but
for the purpose Of protecting manu-
facture-s and corporations SO that they
Can be asss ssed heavily in behalf OF
the Republican campaign fund. 4
Having done all we could to prevent
anu hinder the Democrats from any
legislation likely to relieve the people
OF the burdens of the tariff, we now
denounce them for not doing what we
would not let them do, and we pledge
ourselves in a general way to raist
hades and make everybody happy.
For particulars, see small bills grocery
bllls). ..... ;rsH
We recognize the importance oi
sheep shearing and having fl-eced the
farmers OH one side, we respectfully
request them 10 roll over and let III
fleece them on the other side. fi4
We have always recommended the
best money in the world, and lament
that 80 little of it is left for other peO
pie after our boys get what they want,
but we don't see what we can do abouI
it.
In general way we don't know ex
actly where we stand OIL international
conImerce and inter state business, ami
we intend to go right along on the
same great plan Of efficiency. We in
tend to regulate railroads without in
terfering with them, and shall please
everybody. Preparatory to this, We
shall do nothing.
We favor the establishment of a ma
tIonal bureau of labor, with one hum
dred drawers, and two knobs on eaclr
drawer. And to insure power to draw
we promise that each knob shall con
sist of u veteran old Office holder, abb,
to draw the drawer and big salar!
with it.
We believe that working men can
live on taffy, and we promise them all
that they want. ,-.-.
Having given away all the public
lands any one wanted, we are opposed
10 giving away any more.
Taffy is as much relished by veteral
soldiers Ms by wOrkmen, therefore, re
solved, that they also have some.
Having got the navy down fine, we
ask the appropriation of Il few more
millions in that direction, and If we
do not show the world a navy, we will
at least exhibit fine lot Of Republics Il
contractors in full bloom. We also az
continued confidence that we may far
ther consummate our brilliant achieve
ments in encouraging American ship
building.
RESOLVED, That our course toward
the territories In the appointment OF
nonresident officers is all wrong, and
that having demonstrated our entire
inability to deal with the MormOns
we ask the people to continue us in
Bower that we may do some more.
RESOLVED, That if the American
people are fools, AS we confidently be-
lieve them to be, they will support us
On this platform. 90.