The Red Cloud chief., 1884-02-29
Bunko and Bunkee.

Runkn and Bunkee.
"Wyoming may not occupy more nor
three square yards on q goggerfy map
of the United States" remarked Wood
tick Williams at a recent session OF the
Forty Liars Club, after being called
upon for a speech by the chair, '.but
she's got mighty good packin'. What
/ mean is that her internal improve
ments contain some mighty smart
men. With all due Difference to the
chair and the honorable company, !
must say that for fast-color. pigeon
tOed, cOpper-riveted sense. the humble
individual who now addresses you does
not canter along at the rear of the pro-
cession. l may not ride on the seat
with the driver, buff 1 do say i'll
follow up pretty close to the bereaved
relatives. am willing to admit that
my father was a smarter man, even,
than l am-leastwise he must have
been, or the court records of kenosha
County. Wisconsin, peryert the truth
to a marvellous degree. He was a bank
cashier. He went up to Canada for his
health-Ofiice work is SO combining, YOU
knOw,t hat it soon breaks q man down,
especially bank cashiers. His great in
tellect gave way, however, a short time
before he died -leaStwise he was fool
ish enough to make his wjll-and so the
family, of whom 1 am which. got moth
ing. Some cousin by-his-wife's-aunt
put in a claim, and the lawyers COM
promised the case by gobbling up
the estate themselves.
"But, as l said. I'm a shade or two
above a natural-born idiot, and to prove
it I'll relate my experience while in Chi
cagO last September. You know took
a lot of cattle in there to sell and after
I'd disposed of them l took a spike-tail
car and went up town. l bought me a
bran new outfit at a clothing store, had
the wrinkles pressed out, and dressing
up in my new toys, l set out t. take in
the sights. Pretty soon l was tackled
by a very decent looking party. who
seemed tickled to death to see me. He
called me Tompkins, from Titusville,
Ind, and asked after the boys l told
him he was off his cabase, and Just
about that time, too. l began to smell
something most awful rank, so when he
asked me my name. | said it was John
Taylor, of Tecumseh, Neb; that | was
a director of the First National Bank
there. and had just come to Chicago to
see something of city life. Then 1 told
him about the pos master, Lou DAVIS,
and the station agent whom | called
Brooke. ard so on, and made him thor
Oughly acquainted with everything and
everybody in the place. l knew there
was such a town in Nebraska, but of
course didn't know a soul in it; but
thinks to myself, if there isn't any
body of that name there, why there
ought to be. and as for myself, why the
name of Taylor was good enough for
me. Well. We chatted a long while.
until my new friend said he had an e.
gagem- mt, but he'd call at the hotel in
the evening and show Inc around. Well,
its no use to prolong your agony. 1t
was the same old story. The custom
airy son of an old friend appeared in the
regular order OF things and made him.
self extremely agree ,ble, and Mr.. Tsy-
lOr' went with the young man to see
him draw a prize in a lottery.
The rules Of the game. up to this
point, had been strictly adhered ''to-ap-
parently-but it gives Inc great pleasure
to state that. in the subsequent proceed
ings, | introduced certain innovations
that, if generally adopted. must tend to
seriously from the interests of
the noble game of bunkO, and eventually
bring it into disfavor among spOrtive
gentlemen. l entered. apparently, into
the spirit of the game with great en-
and gratifying recklessness, |
and bucked at it Sl5 worth. when I
told them that as l hadn't drawn any
only started with a little for fear of
pickpOckets in the cars, that broke me.
As I appeared to be enjoying myself.
however. the bunkO men kindly kept
The game going. and accepted my
checks to the amount of $3.50 on the
Banking-house. Finally l
told them that I'd played enough for
one day; that it was lots of fun but
that, like all the other good things of
life. it came high. If they'd Just cash
another check for 500. to give me a
little ready cash to spenl about town.
I'd drop in the next day and give them
another whirl. The generous bunkO
men cheeriully complied, and l quit the
game Just $50 ahead. 1 don't know
what they did with those checks. In
act 1 haven't allowed myself to worry
,ver it at all since. l suppose it's a
rough on the bunko man to dis
'Over suddenly that he is the bunkee:
,ut then you know there's nothing GER
ain in this world but death. aud four
ices backed up with a king."-7Ae