The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1884-04-03
NIr AND HUNiOR.


OF City Hazard.
Elgin, ILL.,, has a butter ring. Next
thing we know we shall hear OF a nap
kin ring, or dinner-beil rim.
Teacher-'What happens when
light fails into the wafer ct "a sngie OF
fcrtv-fve deerees?" Pupil-''It goes
out. Der Scaa'k.
The city must put It's foot down on
such corruption" shricks an excited
contemporary. Bu. it can't, yen know,
Corporations have TO soles.-LJe.
woman in San f. ncisco has been
appointed to the position of conductor
IN a line OF horsc-cars. At last The
dream cf fare woman" is realized.
Leap year is gooi time 10 en@ravc
indelibly upon the hearts Of the forng
men that much misery is c:usei by not
SAYING ..no' At The right t:Ine.-Lu!5ato
EIpress.
At the coming leap-year ball some of
The ladies propose 10 turn live mouse
loose in the room. Just to see the poor,
iimid gentlemen jump up on the chairs
and squeal.
A Nashville man was fined $500 for
kissing a school-;eachcr. Ii ii hadn't
been for two or three of the scholars
who caught them at it she wouldn't
have charged him cent
A burglar who has climbed up to
parret window on ladder is arrested
by a voice shouting, Hello, there.
what do YOU want?' ''May l ask you
for glass of fresh water?'
When young woman is in love she
turns to the poets corner first on pick
inc ND the local paper. After she IS
married she turns first to the advertise
ments of the dry goods stores.
Ladies imagine that roller-skating is
a fine WY 10 work of superfluous flesh.
The belief seems well founded. One
Young lady dropped 127 pounds at the
ring recently, and dropped it hard;
A sewing-m machine agent was recent
ly attacked by fierce catamount near
Milford. Strange as it may appear,
the catamount escaped without buying
one Of the machines. -Phtlade.p phia CGu.
..Sagacious, said Mr.. Griph, ''why
that dog of mine was the most proud,
noble and sagacious dog that ever
lived! Why, when anybody was look
inc he'd pretend not to know me. -
Boston P.st.
Patti, they say, is an invcterate onion
eater. Ii we have ever said anything
against Nicolini, we take it back. How
true it is that one-half the world does
not know what the other half has 10 60
through with.
Sometimes 1 get discouraged"
signed Parson Jones; 'for aught | can
see men are as bad as ever" 'How-
ever,'' he continued. '.if they should
all become perfect, don't know what
/ should do for a living"
They do say that The photograph Of
"a Colorado Senator got mixed into
pack of cards in use at game i'll
Washington and wasn't noticed for
eight hands. everybody playing it for
the Jack os spades.--B0Ston Post.
There is SIN old man in Clay County,
North Carolina, who has borne through
ninetv-,wo years the burden of the
name of A exander Gumbleton Euffle-
ton Scufiie. OF ODerda Whittleton South
enhali Beri min Franklin Squires.
The average citizen wants the CHM
news in his house piastered inside and
out tc make theu- fire proof, and Yet
he emptics ashes into a barrel in the
wocdshed and expects Providence TO
douse OF the vat r in case OF fire.
Dstrcat f,re: Pstss.
AChicaco Journal modcst.y suggests
that the celebration of the fourth GEN.
tennial of the discovery Of America
should be held in That city, because it
sis the pivot city of tie United States"
Chicago is the pivot city in the sense
that they get everything turned around
there.-BastcW PoSt.
Queen Victoria, speaking in her new
book of an accident that beiell her and
her gillie. says that she was much
distressed" to find ''iiat poor Browns
legs had been dreadfuily cut" What
shocking improprie;y! A well-bred
American woman would tramp all
around Robin Hood's barn after the
word climbs. .''-RocLcs'cr Democrat.
s.He's not what you cell strictly hand
some. said the Ma jor, .sraming through
his glasses on an utterly hideous BABY
as it lay peacefully bowling in lis
mothers arms, ''but it's the kind OF
face that grows on yoa, was the in
dignant and unexpected reply of the
maternal being. You'd be better
looking if it had. -
A girl out wcstis sad TO have refused
telegraph linem4n three times in as
many months because he was ''too
much of 4 wandere'-he wandered
from pole to pole ard from climb to
climb and if he should come home
he'd be so .:nsu,ate' that he'd make
ones hair stand up straight and there'd
be no end 10 batteries and crosses.
Footprints Of men acd women, sup
posed 10 have been LETT On the harden
ing sell fifty thousand years ago, have
been discovered in Nicaragua. Those
of tho women are distinguished from
those made by the men by the frcquen-
-cy with which they wheel about and
point in the opposite direction when
their owners turned around 10 see what
other women didn't have or.
The man who is poor puts on lots Of
styie, and preiends he is rich, while
the man who lays away thousands every
year says lie is losing money, and ex-
poets TO 60 10 the almshouse shortly.
This accounts fer the hotel clerk wear
ing huge diamond, and the bond
holding statesman So:nc around in
ready-made clothes that don't fit him,
looking sadly in need Of hair cut.
A little girl in school icing asked the
other day by a member of the Board
of Education, ''Who make our laws?'
answered, Congress" ''And how is
it dividedP" asked the gentleman. The
little girl hesitated, but finally said:
Unto civilized. haii-civilzcd, and say
age, sir .'Very good" said the gen.
tleman; ''hut l DO not see why you
should have hesi;ated in your reply"
-.'Nili you he home TO dinncr?" ash.
ed a Chicago woman Of her husban d
as he was about starting for business:
mo, / think no. lie answered. 81
expect 10 be very busy. Besides, new
saloon is to be opened just around the
corner from my oifi-e, and l WA drop
in there and get u little free lunch. y
We'll" said his wife, while wave q
fear swept across her face. .'be careful
not to get hurt in The rush -
Il WAS iirelnan's parade. headed b,
brass bani. As lhry turned the cor
ner Gus Ca. .:r, WHO was holding up :
hi;ch.ng-ros,, spelled cut tie letters
..E. r-l-u-i-;-i-u-s U-n-u-m." panied
on the head cf big drum. ''Aow,
Jake. now, wh:a-wh:ts . ihai?:' he asked
of lank negro Standing Under th'
AWNING with l;s c.oi,ti open. Don