Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-23

SCIENCE is constantly making discoveries,
but we have nowhere seen any explanation OF
the reason why nobody can play "HOme,
sweet Home on the harmonica.- Somergills
JoMFslGf.
ira man wants to take the trouble he can
come from the depot with fan. and linen
buster andlOok as though he had been away
enjoying himself with ire eompany.-Netos
ORLEANS PicdguRe.
THAT is what You call the music Of the flu
ture.' remarked Fogg, in reference 20 the
baritone player in the band. AT any rate,
he manages TO keep ahead Of the time right
along .2-aBssteSs- zgsasersIst.
SO lcommon has the expression, painting
the town red got 70 be in Western settle
ment. that one Of the saloon keepers has put
the sign artists materials" in his window
Boston Commercial BHLetin.
SHE was singing Flee as a Bird" and just
because he asked her If she did not think that
it was rather peculiar way Of considering
the insect she did not speak TO him all the rest
Of the evening. Boston Post.
EXTRACT from Paris club journal: M.
Biseautsrd found an empty pocketbook in the
card room. He at once placed i in the hands
of the President of the club. These acts OF
probity require no comment.
\ YOUNG GENTLEMAN wishes to know which
Is proper TO say on leaving young lady
friend after late call-gOOd night or good
EVENING" Never tell a lie. young man; say
good morning Free Press.
\ YOUNG lady Of Texas writes to the New
York Sun that she believes the constant read
ing Of novels TO have injured her mind. Con-
sldering the fact that she wrote to the Sun
about it, we should suppose her to be con-
slant reader of that paper. and consequently
feel that she Is rather unjust 10 the novels
L0lceA Citizen.
\ GENTLEMAN overhearIng a ear driver
asking an eXOrbitant fare Of an unsuspectlng
foreigner eXpostulated with him on his auda-
cIOus misstatcment of the tariff, concluding
p, FNsvsw~ n mo-
regard for the truth" ''Och, indeed, thin,
Eve great dale more regard for the truth
than to be dthraging her out on every palthry
OCCASION was the reply.-Ihe Spectator.
LITTLE WILLIE was fond Of throwing stones
at the passing school boys. and then taking
refuge behind the hall door. One day he did
not get away so easily, and, farlng pretty
| badly, he burst into his aunts presence with
| the tears running down his cheeks, and sob
| bed out in great wrath, Il just wish was an
| angel way up high, where the policeman
couldn't catch me, with my pocket full OF
| rocks, if wouldn't give it to them boys y
/ Hdrper's Bdsdr.
Hurt HIS GOOD NAME.-"Yer mout offer
| me er hunderd do lars ter vote fur yer in de
/ convention an it wouldn't hab no 'huence
/ wild me-" said an old negro in reply to a can
| didate who had asked for his support. "Oh,
/ L wouldn't offer you money" reJOned the
/ candidate. Il believe in conducting cam
| paign fairly and squarely. Corruption IN
| Of1ice-seeking has cast dark cloud over our
/ 1
/ a hundred dollars. | haven't that amount Of
| money, anyway eyer amt; Well den, dar
| amt no usen talkin' ter me. How much is
| yer got, nohOws" "Tve got five dollars"
! 'sUh. huh, no usen talkin' ter me. | amt
| gwine TO sell myself ter no white man." "Of
| course not" Look heah, what yer gwine
| ter do wild date five dOllars?" ''l'n make
| good use of it, 'Heah. lemme hab il. Dem
| folks thinks dat Use dun sold out. clare
| ter goodness, white man. it hurts or pussOn's
! good name ter be seed er talkin' ter YER
| ArkdRsGlo Traveller.
When a pair Of red lips are upturned to your
own,
With no one to gossip about it,
| Do you pray for endurance to let them alone
| Well, mebby you debut doubt it.
| When a sly little hand you're permitted to
| seize,
! With a velvety sOftness ABOUT It,
! Do you think you can drop 1t with never a
| squeeze:
Well, mebby you can-butI doubt it.
! When a tapering waist is in reach of your
| arm,
With wonderful plumpness about it.,
! Do you argue the point 'twiXt the good and
the harmf
Well, mebby you debut doubt it.
And if by these tricks You should capture a
| heart.
With wOmanly sweetness about it,
| VIII you guard it. and keep II, and act the
| good parts
Well, mebby you will-but doubt it.
| -NelC York Star.