davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-25

The best smoking tobacco is "Little
Joker"
The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-25
Monterep advertisers.

This space will be
occupied by DIR. Alex
McMasters, Physi-
elan and Surgeon,
Monterey, Mexico.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
Washing Day In Switzerland.

Outside the theater, writes SoglIo,
Switzerland. correspondent of The
Boston Herald, | know of few merry
comedies so thoroughly enjoyable by
the chance spectator as washing day
IN hamlet like Soglio. Now, wash
ing day is with Us in America as we
all too well know, the sternest kind of
igh-wrought tragedy, in which men
hold their bated breath in fear, and
women are wrought to the formidable
state of tension. The miseries of the
SOLITARY system are then witnessed
in their most cruel snaps. Approach
now the parallel spectacle in Soglio,
guided to the spot by peals of merry
laughter. Into a great stone basin,
thirty feet by ten, a stream of crystal
mountain water is pouring in constant
flood, and all around the brink, their
dresses girt close and their arms
stripped bare for action stand the
women, young and old. No moping
melancholy, no look of frantic despf v
at the heap of soiied clothes one poor,
lone, unaided creature has got to cope
with; but. instead of this, the glee,
invigoration, and courage that come
of numbers Already topic is started,
last Sundays sermon, the festival
down in Promontogue. the latest en-
gagement in the village, and in trice
it is clear what vigorous dramatic elo-
quence the mere operation of washing
imparts to the ordinary prose of talk.
Here is one woman taking exception
to something she did not like in the
doctrine of the sermon, just at the
very point when she is rubbing in the
soap on a particularly dirty spot in the
garment she has in hand. With what
vim she applies the caustic bar, and
then rubs and rubs, as though it were
not shirt, but the very manuscript
itself, and the evil doctrine in black
ink within it, she is bringing her finest
energies to bear upon. And 10. when
all at once she annihiiates alike the
stain of dirt and the obnoxious senti
ment, what look of triumph as she
holds on high the now stainless gar
ment, and all pause to gaze in aamlra-
ton. Here, again, is another woman
wringing dry with her powerful arms
a coarse linen sheet. Al. the sheet is
a mere symbol It is the last refuge
of lies she is wringing out of some
bad character in the neIghborhood, or
out of some dangerous tendency t.
extravaganza or folly she is depreciat-
ing for the young. How clear at
glance the twofold advantage! First
the sheet gets the benefit of her pas
sion, for in no uninspired mood could
she begin to wiring so dry; and then
the conscience of her coworrer are
sought home with an energy the vii
lage pastor debarred of such superb
dramatic adjunc.s, can never aspire
to compass.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
A WaterspOut off the English Coast

A correspondent of The London
Times writes: | was at Southwald on
Sunday last, and witnessed with the
greatest interest the formation and
decline of the huge waterspout oil
that coast. The waterspout itself Was
not the only curious phenomenon OF
the day, for the eccentric behavior OF
bota clouds and wind had engaged
our attention for at least an hour be
fore the waterspout formed. In front
of dark masses of cloud that moved
slowly seward were several light
vaporous cloudlets, that seemed to de
tach themselves from these masses
and then careered across the sky, now
in one direction, now in another, fire.
quently crossing each other with ex
traordisary rapidity. All this time
the wind on shore was no more set
tied than the sky. The general cur
rent of the clouds, however, was sea
ward. The black masses gradually
passed from over the land and became
united, showing clearly-defined edge
some distance above the horizon
From this edge thin streak of cloud
like a black rocket suddenly descended
obliquely and struck the sea four Oh
five miles from the shore. For the
first few minutes the line thus formed
swayed from side to side with the cur
rents of wind. It then became toe
massive to be thus affected, and ap
peared a gigantic pillar of water stand
ing perpendicularly between sea ane
sky The force with which the volume
of water fell into the sea must have
been terrific, since the foam and spray
around the base of the pillar extended
to considerab' e height. AS the dense
black clouds bore further seward the
capital of this watery colume, in shape
like the base of a converted cone
could be traced against the darker
background. Gradually the column
diminished in size until only thin
line remained, which, serving at the
sea end blew about for a minute OF
two, VIXEN it shortened and at last
disappeared Fortunately no ship wa:
near at the time; but schooner tina
passed directly afterward between the
land and the place where the water
spout had been enabled us to form
some idea of the proportions of the
latter, which must have been at leas
100 or $50 yards in diameter. The
waterspout was in existence abou
twenty minutes.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15

quence become greatly depressed, and
had acted very strangely. Yesterday
morning shortly after 10 o'clock, his
wife left the house to go to st. Thomas
hospital to try to get an order for his
admission into that institution, leav-
ing her husband In bed. and having
requested Mrs McCausland, widow,
residing i'll the same house, to look
eafter HIM. Mrs. McCausland, who is
nearly so years of age, went upstairs
to bring down some needlework on
which she was engaged. On retarn-
ing she was met By Parrot, who dealt
her heavy blow on the right hand
with knife. He then proceeded to
attack her in most ferocious manner,
and left her in an almost insensible
condition. He then went into the
front parlor, and returned brandish-
ing table knife in his hand. and he
made a blow at Mrs. McCausland's
head; but she had succeeded in re-
gaining her feet, and turning her
head aside the knife came in contact
with the wall. A desperate struggle
then ensued; but fortunately the
woman's cries had attracted the notice
of some passers-by, who burst the
door open, when they found the man
Parrot lying in the passage, endeavor-
ing to cut his throat with knife. 1t
was taken from him, and the Police
were called in, who conveyed him and
Mrs. McCausland to st. Thomas hos
pital, when it was found that the man
had very severe jagged wound in
his throat. There is little doubt that
Parrot who lies in critical condition,
is insane.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
What GOeth on at Present.
From Puck.

At about this season the young man
riseth up ana getteth himself a striped
bathing suit, yea, even q bathing suit
striped with many stripes.
And the bathing suit shall be vel
low, and the stripes thereof shall be
blue, and the same shall be two sizes
too small for him.
Aud he rolleth that bathing-suit up
into bundle, and he beareth the
bundle with him, even unto Coney
Island, and to the Beach of Manhat
ten.
And when he is come there he pur-
chaseth a ticket for the bathing
pavilion.
And he depositeth his valuables in
the safe. even his oroide watch and
his c.lluloid collar, and he goeth
down to the sea in that bathing-suit,
and he disporteth himself in the
ocean after the manner of the por-
poise that walloweth.
Ana when he is come forth, and is
come into his bath-house, and hath
drained a gallon and half of the At
lantic Ocean out of his right ear, he
taketh off that bathing suit, and 10,
he is nightly surprised and he is set
BESIDE himself with wonderment.
For is he not striped. yea, even as
the bathing-suit was striped, with
stripes of blue? And, moreover, be
tween the stripes of blue there be other
stripes of yellow.
And he is like unto the zebra that
gamboleth, and unto the ringtailed
tiger of Bengal
And when he hath made an end OF
cursing, and hath gotten the blueness
out of the atmosphere, for none of II
will come out of his epioermis, 10 and
behold, he goeth about and eateth the
clam that is roasted.
And the same shall receive the
greater damnation.
And on The morrow, l say unto
you, there shall be one empty desk IN
the office of that young mans EN-
ployer, and the cholague that tasteth
i'll shall be inside of the young man,
and the benzine that stingeth shall be
upon his cuticle.
Selah.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
Contest Between Squirrel and Spar
rows
Norwich (Ct.} Bulletin.

Parties coming up Maine street at
an early hour OF a recent morning
were somewhat surprised to see a
large and apparently tame squirrsl
hasten across the street and enter the
doorway to the store of Rice & Rich.
1t was also noticed that his squirrel
ship was closely pursued by flock of
sparrows, the majority of whom took
position opposite the door, so as to
cat off his retreat Half a dozen of
the birds remained on the wing flut-
tering some three feet from the side
walk and near to the entrance. The
squirrel made frantic efforts to force
an entrance, and as he did SO the birds
(who during the fight kept up an in
cessant chattering) charged upon him
and brought him to bay They event
ually drove him from his position to
to the store of ]. B. Spencer, and
from there to the Boston store. Find
ing himself hard pressed, he beat a
retreat, but the sparrows forced him
from the sidewalk, and he sought an
entrance to the store of j. 8. Shaw.
Here also he was fooled, and he broke
for the other side of the street. closely
followed by the entire fock of spar
rows, who lost no opportunity to give
him clip and hasten his speed. He
finally entered the Pierce Block, and
thus escaped further punishment. 1t
was supposed by those who witnessed
this extraordinary fight that the SOUR
rel had been tampering with some
nests in that vicinity, hence the spar
rows turned out in force and mobbed
him in true Democratic style.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
A Narrow Escape.

Every Sunday an excursion train Is
run over the Southern Pacific railroad
from Santa Cruz to Monterey. On
last Sunday the passengers on the
returning train were treated to scare
that had in it the elements of danger.
One mile and a half this side of Aptos
is deep gulch, $50 feet wide and
about 100 feet deep, there is a C 1T
in the mill on the Monterey side Of the
gulch. and just before the train enter
ed this cut horse jumped from a hol-
low to the track and began running
toward the gulch. The engineer did
not see the horse until it had reached
the track, and the result was newt
able Before the gulch was reached
the locomotive struck the horse and
threw it between the track and Ike
side of the cut, where the space was so
limited that the wheels of all the cars
were covered with shreds of flesh and
blood as they passed and struck the
manglld remains of the horse. The
baggage car was thrown from the
track BY the shock, but the tram con-
tinued at the rate of about fifteen
miles an hour travelling several hun
dred feet and crossing the bridge be-
fore stopping. After considerable
trouble, the baggage car was again
placed on the track and the train pro-
ceeded slowly to Santa Cruz, stopping
long enough at Aptor to leave the
baggage car. The track and ties on the
bridge were considerably damaged,
and force of men were sent out from
Santa Cruz, who were still at work
when the train from that place passed
yesterday morning coming to this
city. 1t is said that the guards on the
bridge On either side of the track kept
the baggage-car from going over into
the ravine and dragging the passengers
with it.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
He Won his Rum.
Boston Globe.

If tell We we ought to haul up that
thar scow an clean off her bottom, "
SAID Uncle Henry, as be and Uncle
Bill stood examining the craft moored
to the shore. There's more'n seven
ton of sea hay CROWN on her"
''S'no such thing drawled Uncle
Bill. the man who had never been ex-
cited or scared in his life I'll bet We
a quart o rum there amt mite o
grass on her bottom"
I'm take We up on thet, b George,
said Uncle Henry. We'll haul her
up s soon s we've taken that staff
across the crick.n
They loaded the scow and started
off, Uncle Henry sropelling her from
the stern and Uncle Bll standing
away up in the bow with a pole to
push her and shove away an occas-
ional lce-cake. for the ice had net all
left the creek. They were making
pretty good Roadway when suddenly
Uncle Henry heard splash and look
ed up Uncle Bill was gone. He had
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15

''Let me inl | will come in! bawled
Mr. JackiBgton, and he burst into the
presence OF his lady-love.
There, in a chair, with a towel
spread over her shoulders, and her
lovely golden hair all floating loose,
sat the fair Sara, while the velvet
coated man, with big bottle and
hair brush, was preparing to annoint
the same with some rose -smelling
fluid, and the little housemaid held a
tray of combs and pomades close by.
Miss Everett started up; the man III
the black velvet jacket tumbled back
gard over the table; the housemald
cried ooh, LORI"
"What does this meanl" demanded
Miss Everett. why am l thus In
truded upon3"
"Who is this2" cried her fancoe,
pointing, with Macbeth like finger, to
the black-coated individual.
Mr.. Solomon Soiomons, at your
service, sir" bowed and scraped the
stranger, "of 222 SkIpp street."
And what the - are you doing
here?" roared Jackington
Miss Everett is one of my patrons, "
said the obsequious Solomons, feeling
for his professional cards.
Its Golden Sunbeams for the
Hair" sobbod Sara, perceiving that
tie truth would out. Its a
blonde process-and there's nobody
in New York can put on the burnlsh
like Mr.. Soiomons! And" TO Mr.
Jackington, you are always so proud
of nv hair, DEAR It's expensive, |
know; bat what's expense where your
love is concerned?"
And Sara threw herself weeping on
Mr. Jackington's shoulder
The latter parsonage looked around
indignantly at the assembled crowd
of spectators.
tAnd you backbiters would fain
have had me believe that this seraph
was false :" said he.
Mr.. JackIngton married Miss Ever
EFT after all. All the boarders said he
was great fool after finding her ou'
so completely; but love laughs at such
criticisms.
eff we're suited, its nobody else's
business,' said he.
And there was deep undercurrent
of philosophy in the remark.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
New Use for the Telephone.

Sammy, a bright boy of four years
old, living in western Massachusetts,
is constantly attended by his faithful
dog Jack. whose obedience to his
young masters orders is Immediate
and implicit. The house of the lad S
grandmother is connected by a tele
phone with that in which Sammy
lives. The boy delights to dine with
his grandmother, and almost daily
that worthy woman is summoned by
the sharp ring of The telephone bell to
answer the important question: May
| come upto dinner to day, grandma?
When she, with patience long tried,
answers: No, not to-day; | am too
busy" Sammy calmly commands the
dog to mount to the instrument by a
chair which is always kept ready for
this emergency, saying: "Now Jack,
howl. Bark Jacki" Then the grand
mothers house resounds with the din,
and the bowling and barking echoes
through the chambers with distract
ing effect, until at last in utter des-
pair, and guided by past experience in
yielding to the inevitable, the wished
for consent is given, and both the
ooedient dog and his Ingenious
young master dine out.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
Standard and All Sorts

A gentleman rode up to a small boy
sitting on the fence ia front of his
home and inquired if he lived there.
81 try to, was the response.
"Well, my boy, l want to know
what time it is; can you tell me?"
Yes, I kin; [ wuz in the house jis
five minutes ago and the old clock
wuz a pintin' a. 'leven."
What kind of time do you have?"
ooh, us have all kinds.
But mean, do you have solar
time or standard times"
That's what 1 said. We have all
kinds"
II don't understand you"
Don't yer? Well, come to our
house and live awhile an yer'll learn.
My sister Sal she has standard time,
that's the clock; has city time, that's
the town clock; the hired girl has sun
time, that's watching the shadders,
and pap and man has a hi of a
time, that's what they're doing in
there now, and I'm settin' on the
fence till they get her reggerlated.
By gosh. you hadn't better wait roun'
iere if you don't want to hear suthln'
strike, an strike mighty durn hard !"
The man rode away rapidly and the
boy kicked another plank off the
fence.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
Conssling the Squire.
ArkanSaw Traveller

Squire Patterson, wearing an air of
deep concern, approached his friend,
Farmer Glover, and, without speak
ing. leaned on the fence and sighed.
whats the matter, Squirrel"
Il don't know what this country is
comm to. What would you think if
your daughter ran away and married
an ignorant hired mani"
20, don't know, Squire, out l
would not take it to heart if l were
you. [ would try and think that 1t
happened for the best. "
"Would you forgive the girl2' asked
the Squire.
Yes. l believe 1 would. There's
no use holding out, you know. When
did it happens"
Just a while ago"
Who performed the ceremony
Il did"
What Then you could not have
been opposed TO the marriagel"
''Oh, 1t makes no difference to me,
replied the Squire, for, you see, it's
your daughter instead of mine"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
CArADBA HAY-FEyER.
Cream Balm is

remedy founded on a
correct diagnosis Of this
disease and can Ne de.
pended upon. SS. At
druggists: &c. by mail.
ELY Eros, Druggists.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
4 Right Smart Western Town
New York Sun.

Eyes, sir, said an enthusiastic
citizen of new western town, we've
got a right smart town, stranger.
Why" he continued, lmpressively,
''it's only 16 months old, yet, and its
got two hotels, 4S beer saloons. 27
gambling places, four drug stores,
to say nuthin' of grocery and clothin'
stores. and the best half mile track
west of the Missouri"
Amy churches7" asked the strang-
er.
Amy what2''
Churches"
You mean them buildin's with a
long pint st1ckin' up In the air.
Yes.
mo. we hain't got any of than.
Thar was some talk about buudln'
one, but we finally allowed it would
look too dudish. F"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
Why She Didn't Want 1t.
Atlanta Constitution.


"Fitzgoobler. began the wife, Sc,
verely, ''yos forgot that clock again,
didn't youf'
"No, my love; | called at the
iewelrv store and asked for it"
did they show it to YOU"
Yes, and Tn surprised to think
that my wife would be guilty of buy
ing anything second handed"
at wasn't any such thing.
ooh, YES. it was; because I noticed
some stains on it, and asked him If
it was not"
"And what did he replv2"
well, he laughed and said very
impudently that he didn't have any
clocks that We're not second handed. "
"Oh. Fri'zv. Fritzv." Sohbed the
chagriued wife, "to think that. after
all, should have married fool"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15

fallen overheard, and the Roadway on
she scow HAD carried her right on
over him, and he had risen below her.
Uncle Henry was frozen with horror.
What was he to do2 For what seemed
to him half an hour he poked around
with his pole and showed the scow
back and forth. but without disclosing
Uncle Bill. Suddenly he rose right
by the stern. In an Instant he was
hauled aboard. He locked both
drowned and frozen, and did not
move.
Gosh, Bill, be ye deadG" gasped
Uncle Henry.
I'm pooty darned near it, came in
feeble tones from Bill, 'but I'll be all
right when I get that rum. There
amt a mite o grass on the bottom o
that scow-I noticed pert;c lar"-and
he tainted away.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15

DR.. Gamgee, of Birmingham, Eng.
has been interesting the Paris surgeons
with his artificial sponge, 1t is made
of cotton rendered absorbent and
treated with antiseptics One of them
of the size of walnut will absorb
water until it reaches the dimensions
of cricket ball. One OF its most i'm.
portant advantages is cheapness; this
quality makes it unnecessary tC
use it more than once. so that sponge
infection" becomes an easily obviated
evil
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15

DIR. Farrell once said that if one
could watch the march of 1000, 900
people through life, the following
would observable: Nearly 10000
would die the first year, IS. geo the
second year, 2S, 900 the third year ana
less than 4, 600 in the thirteenth year.
At the end of forty-6ve years 500, 900
would have died. At the end of sixty
years $40, 900 would be still living, at
the end of eighty years, 81, 900; at the
end of eighty five, 81, 900; and at nine
ty-five years there would be 225; at the
end of los years there will be one sur
ylyor
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
Caught Mapping.
Philadelphia Call.

Mrs. Temperance" The weather is
so warm 1 thought little lemonade
would be refreshing. Won't you have
some, Mr.. Idler?"
Mr.. Idler-'' Thanks, no. I must
confess 1 do not care for plain lem
onade. 1 don't think it agrees with
me"
Mrs. Temperance" Won't you
please tell me how you like it, and let
me fix you some?'
Mr. Idler-" Well, the fact is, l on
ly like it with stick in it. ;"
a stick2f
Yes; but pray do not trouble your
SELF"
"Oh, no trouble at all | assure you.
Jane bring me the mucilage."
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
Only Plated.
Texas Siftings

Mrs. Foster and Mrs Callahan are
two Austin ladies that do not love
each other. 4 mutual friend called
on Mrs. Foster, and during the con-
versation the visitor remarked:
Mrs. Callahan has had her front
teeth filed"
did she have them filed entire
lyl"
''Oh, yes: but why do you askf'
For no particular reason. except
that she is so close / supposed that she
would only have them partly filled.
She must have been in an extraya'
giant mood. What did she have her
teeth filed WITH
with gold, of course
''Humphl I'll bet they are only
plated
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15

During the recent heavy rainfall in
Poland and Galicia whole districts
were completely flooded, hundreds OF
families losing their homes. At one
small trading town the value Of the
hay washed away was $50, 900; al
another it was $50, 600. and in a third
$4,000. No fewer than 100 villages
have been ruined. old inhabitants
say nothing equal to the deyas alton
has occurredEsince 1918.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15

Along with reports of falling off
in France of the receipts from indirect
taxes comes word of an increase OF
revenue IN Algeria. For the month
of May the receipts We're 1929, 60t
francs, au increase of 175, 100 francs
on the estimates and of S., 900 francs
ON the receipts for the same time last
year. For the first FIVE months OF
the present year there was a surplu:
of $50, 500 francs on the estimate.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-08-15
A Tender Epistle.

Mrs. Demming asked Matilda, the
house servant, a few nights ago:
''What dreadful scratching is that
out in the kitcher2 1t must be the
dog trying to get in. I never heard
anything like it in my life"
Oats no dog scratchiu' de doah.
OATS de cook writn' lub letter to her
honey-suckle, who works down ia de
Austin ice factory. "