The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-03-21
THE BAD BOY AND HIS PA.
THE OLD GENTLEMAN INvEIGLED
INTO A BIG BLUNDER.
Mistaking an ola Maids Pet Dog FOR
Haby-TroubIc Caused by an Abb
scnCc of SpeCtacIcs.

n Haby-TroubIc Caused by an Alb.
scncc of SpectacIcs.
"Herc, here" said the grocerymai to
the bad boy, as he came in the back door
hurriedly and bolted it, and hid behind
barrel "what you coming in the back
door for in that manner, like II pirate of
the Spanish main2 My other customers
don't sneak in througf.the back door and
hide behind things. What ails you2"
"S-h-h. If n man comes from the
street car in about two minutes with one
coat tail torn off, and pieces of umbrella
frame sticking out of hisself like porcu-
pine quilts, his hat gone. and scared
complexion on his face, and asks if you
have seen a chubby faced little boy, you
drive him out doors, cause he isn't re-
sponsible, and the boy pulled a coffee sack
down off barrel to cover himself up.
"NYho is the wild man you are expect
ing, and what have you doncl' asked the
groceryman.
"Sh-s-sh! It's pa. And if he got out
of the car without coming through the
window, he is liable to show up here
pretty quick You see, pa has been try
ing to make us believe he could see just
as well as he ever could, and he has quit
wearing spectacles, and gets mad every
time anybody suggests that he can't see
very well Ma says he is ashamed to
have folks think he is getting old. Some
times | come in the room and pa snaps
his fingers and says Hello, Bruno, good
dog, thinking ! am the dog, and when
he finds out his mistake he laughs and
says it was only u joke, and he says he
can see as well as any man in this town.
| told him some day some person would
play joke on him and convince him
that he was near sighted, and he said
they might try all the jokes they wanted
to on him. Well, pa is awful polite TO
ladies, and for fear he will pass some
lady that he knows, and not speak to
her, he speaks to ali of EN-. Some of
em get cross to have q stranger speak to
them, but pa has such innocent, benev-
client, vacant sort of a look when he
smiles, that they 90 on, thinking he has
escaped from some asylum. Well, we was
in street car, and on the other side of
the car was a mold maid, with pug
dog in her lap, curled up like a baby, |
see pa was getting his eyes sot on the
woman and the dog, but l knew he
couldn't make out whether it was a baby
she had or not, so l whispered to pa that
it wus too bad to carry babies on the
street cars, poor little things. That was
enough for pa He bit like bass. He
| began to look benevolent, and smiled at
the lady just as though he lived next
door to her, and she looked sort of cross,
| but pa could not see that, and he smiled
again and leaned over toward her and
pointed to the dog and asked, How old
is the little thingI Well. | thought
should just melt and run right through
! the perforated scat of the car. The
woman said it was only eleven months
old. but she looked as though she
didn't know as it was any of his
business anyway. | tried to get pa to
change the subject and talk with me,
! but when he gets to talking with q
woman that settles it. and ne told me to
hush up and look out of the window
at the scenery. Then pa smiled again
and got one eye on the lady and one en-
the supposed baby, which she had
wrapped shawl around, and said
Little one always been healthy | sup
poseH The woman snapped out that
it had always been healthy enough, eX
cept when it was cutting teeth it haG
sort of distcmper. The other passen-
gers began to look at ia and smile
and the lady was beginning to blush
and | could see distant muttcrngs Of
cyclone, and | pulled pas sleeve anC
told him | wouldn't talk to stranger,
that way if | was him, but pa he
punched me in the rib with his elbow
and told me to mind my own business
and | went to the end of the car nea
the door so as to get out quick in cas-,
of an alarm of fire. Pa returned tt
the assault, and it made me perspire
Is it a boy or girP said pa, and thu
lady's face colored up and she pulled
the strap to stop the car. just as tn
car stopped pa got up, and in his pc
litest manner he said, as he held out hi
hands, Let me help you with the baby.
Well, you'd dide. You would have jus
laid right down in the straw in the ca
and blatted. When the driver openc,
the door flew out and just then | LOOKED
in and the dog had got mad at pa wheI
he put out his hands, and had grabbed
pas hand, and was chewing his mitte
and growing, and the lady called pa al
old wretch and said he ought to be al
rested for going around insulting unpro
tected females, and | saw her umbrella g
up in the air and come down on pa
head, and pa yelled to somebody to tax
the dog off. The woman came out G
the car on gallop, holding the dog b
the leg and the dog had one of pas buck
skin mittens in its mouth, chewing fc
all that was out When she struck tn
street she told me to call a policema
and have the old tramp arrested, and
said 'yessum, and she went off with til
dog under her arm. asked pa if
should follow his lady friend and get Ii
mitten away from her little baby, that h
was using to cut teeth on, and pa locke
= so mad, that l got off the car and cam
here, and left him picking pieces {
umbrella from out of his necktie, and e,
planned to the other passengers that /
knew that dog wasn't IA baby all IL
time. n-Peck'S Sun.
p The Champion High Kicker.
| A