The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1884-11-20

stand around here e, any longer watching
ITS SO lovelyl" murmured Mrs.
Spoopendyke, turning again to the
falls. "Oh, my dear! Think of man
going over those falls" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke shudderingly.
"He wouldn't ue any more of meas
Iy ass than man who pays dollar to
20 under 'em!" argued Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke, who still retained q lively recol-
lection of his experience on tho Ameri-
can side. IF como hero again, and
| il God gives mo my health, / won't, I
think I'll try to 60 over tho falls, pro-
vided there is any chance of my drop
| ping on the Esquimaux who poured mo
into rubber bathing suit, with hole
under each arm and slit up the back!
Say, my dear; suppose we give this
fatigue uniform with bad smell to
some worthy charltyW
That's my squaw's dress" faltered
Mrs. Spoopendyke, ''and i wouldn't
take anything for it."
II wish tho man bought it of had
felt that wayr' groaned MIR. Spoopen-
dyke. "Just pull it through the back
strap of my trousers. will ye, and tic
those knock-kneed garters around my
waist. Look out for that battle-axe! /
want that myself to open oysters with!
Where's the shoe that belonged to the
game-legged' warrior with tho pipP
Here's one; where's tho other!"
Mrs. Spoopendyko found it in his hat,
and then announced her readiness to
take in the rest of the show.
''There's man down here that's got
whirlpool" explained Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, experiencing some difficulties in
getting under way with his trophies
'I don't know whether ho is in the
habit of exhibiting it to band wagons,
but if he is and ho don't insist on hav.
ing me buy it, we'll take look Mt it.
Come alongr'
''Is that tho suspension bridgeP"
asked Mrs. Spoopcndyke, as they drove
past it.
Yes; want itP" demanded her hus-
band. Though I don't know why
they should call it suspension when
everything else around here appears to
be in active financial operation. Let's
figure up how much this drive is going
to cost Twice six hundred for tho
horses is twcnty-four hundred. and add
twelve hundred for the wagon makes
three thousand. Multiply that by the
distance, three miles. and you get nine
thousand dollars. Cheap. Hero. my
dear, what's become of that scalpP
Where's the scalp of that primeval old
convert gave n dollar forp What's
become of the hair of the archaeological
old pirate that sold photographs around
this corner before the foot of the ad-
vonturous white man over penetrated
those recesscsp Do you discover any
remnants Of geological formation in
bangs around this display of untutored
Industry" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
rising in wrath rs he vainly plowed
through his acquisitions for the missing
spoils OF war. ''Do you appear to OBJ
serve fugue in wool lurking around
this dino museum of re-Adamite rel
icsp"
'Didn't-didn't you put it on your
own headP" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke,
with n misty recollection that he adorn-
cd himself with his prize.
"Shouldn't wopder!" gruntod Mr..
Spoopendyke. locating tho scalp with
out further trouble. II wanted it to
feel at home. Here's the whirlpool.
Look out how you step. Now got into
this box and we'll go down where we
can SEQ it. Be careful how you sit on
that war hat of dyed hen feathers!
don't mind your sitting on it, but sit
down straight so you'll bust 'em all
even! Let 60. will YEP"
"But suppose that rope should
break!' gurgled Mrs. Spoopendyke,
clinging to her husbands arm with ono
hand and the side of tho car with the
other.
You'd have reached the bottom all
the same" grinned Mr.. Spoopendyko.
rs tho car came to stand "fsn't that
great sightp See tho whirlpoolp"
"WhereP" inquired Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. who was peering into tho bushes
for snakes.
lover there. Where'd ye s'poso It
was-in the weedsp Walk behind
yoP Don'tye sec you're upsetti1
congregation OF genuine Indian,
tight, fre-proof ingenuityP. Their
the-whoopl Catch that cancel
In trying to rescue tho barl
Spoopendyke dropped his battle
erboard, and lost his hat, with th
and ono moccasin.
"a votivo Offering to tho won
tho world" he yelled, as Ee fir
other shoe into tho rapids. "Sp,
dyke and Niagara join hand.
style for seventy-iivo contsr'
wont tho war club. "'Or, sine
has left ny breast, keep it, now
take the regtr and tho sterec
views followed. succeeded b,
spears. bow, and culver of n
Go whore glory awaits thee
roarod, as he filled the mir wit
work and photographs of tho
''Gone to meet Captain Web
shricked. dancing q wrathful horJ
and shying the bag and work
far into the rapids. "Oh, Maid
Mist this is in your 1iner-a
squaw's dress sailed out into th
and was whirled away. "Got an
triumphs by field and floodP" he.
cd. turning on his horror-stricke
"Know where tho whirlpool l.
Got some kind of notion that
pointed it out successfully, have
| Well. | have; and now you're
homo!'-and Mr.. Spoopondyko
his ears down ON his shoulder
started for the car.
| IGn,f Nunptf x,n,, h,, ,ox>,o