The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1884-03-26
A Bore who was not an Agent.

The editors had call lately, one moist
and muddy afternoon, that differed some
what from the generality of their calls,
especially when they think they have
fortified themselves against unwelcome
intrusion by taking their work to their
home sanctum. A middle-aged gray
bearded stranger, who had overlooked
the scraper and had ignored the door-mat,
>ucceeded in getting himself into their
presence, pre-empted an easy chair and
look an attitude of having come to stay,
and monopolize their rare and coveted
luiet hour. lie had come upon an i'm
portant errand, he said, confdentially;
and trying to pin the senior editors atten'
lion to patient hearing by a mysterious
imposition of silence, emphasized by
significant gestures, he threw out the
stale old bait of assuring us that he was a
steady and admiring reader of our paper
Admitting that he regularly read bor-
rowed copy, he proceeded further to HAT
ter our vanity by enquiring our opinions
rs to the next Presidency. His prefer
.ence was for Jim. Blaine, but, (musingly)
he was awlully ashamed of his muddy
boots; didn't know how he came to get in
10 so much or how he failed to clean of so
title; his wife was very particular bout
such things-vi ith an apologetic and de.
precating glance at the housekeeper, and
moving his feet so as to let some of their
,lrippings fall on the Tile and not all on the
carpet, his mind wandered again to poll
tics, and finally 10 the subject of his er-
rand. Their profession being so eminent
calculated to protect editors from har-
dening contact with the world, and being
always flush with money and fairly over
flowing with tender feeling and sympathy
for all varieties of the dead-beat, this un-
sophisi aled old cub had rushed with
lamblike confidence into their den. The
fact was, he said, he was peculiarly sit
uated had been down south few miles,
rot so far back, was out Of ahem !
ahem! 'em, 'enl, 'em."- Then he apollo
gized for his boots again, and while the
housekeeper was wondering which II was
he had escaped from, an asylum or sa-
loon, he paused in bis musings and sum
med up: "Reg'lar reader your paper,
sir; solid Blaine man; old soldier; all
thro' the war, sir; always voted straight
publican ticket; Member Grand
Army public; "Been drinking
What's that you say No stree don you
say that agin." Finally, don deny htv.
ing had slight sip o'beer, but sir, mark you!
it'llnever be repeated, sir, never be repeat
ed" And, with murder in his eye, Don
Won tell on me, sir, for I'm goin' hum If
you'll jest give me the money 10 pay my
fare" BY this time he was too vociferous
TO be agreeable, and the housekeeper had
opened the doors through which he was
beguiled as he made his farewell remarks,
Purity set of editors you are, reiusin' TO
help on good cause, when I've allus read
yer paper, and voted straight publican
ticket, an am "a Jim. Blaine man, an
grand army public, an my names
Wheeler, an no relation to the ole Vice
President, thankee, or l wouldn't be here
askin' favors Of editors" and so on, and so
ON, with backward gesticulations the op
posite of respectful as he shuilled off TO
linda saloon.