Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-03
THE LUNCH-CoUNTER,
As Viewed From a Texas Standpoint by
Victim.
Te~ds SVtings.


Of all the pernicious institutions of this
country the railroad lunch-couuter is the
most noXious, pestifeTous and infamous.
1t has not kept up with the march Of pro-
gFeSs nor advanced with the Improvement
OF the age. You always approach lunch
counter, especially if it is one Won have
never visited before, with hope, and Won
leave it with despair. As you climb
upon high stool and stick your
elbows in a lump of grease on
the counter YOU are cheeTed by the
sight Of the glittering nickel plated coffee
urn, and feeling of sanguine expectancy
creeps over your inside as your eve ranges
over the cards hanging behind the counter,
which read: Turkey, 10 cents; coffee, 10
cents; lamb chops, 10 cents; pies of all
kinds. 10 cents; oysters, every style, 10
cents, etc; The man who waits on you
wears dirty apron and a sad, tired-Of-
Observation-Disclosures -pies-and-coffe ex-
preston of countenance. When YOU at
tract his attention and give him your or
der he goes off with great enthusiasm TO
get it, but he is stopped by the hungry
mortals all along the line of the
counter, who clamor for various
articles of food. He dashes a dab
of butter on a little plate at the man in
the linen buster, jams an empty plate I'M
der the nose of the red-faced man with the
clnder in his eye, throws a plate of
doughnuts to the drummer who is trying
to suppress his ravenous appetite with
pickles, fills The brakeman's order for a
glass of cold tea and 10-cent chunk of
custard pie, and filings a ham sandwich at
the sleeping-car porter, who carries it off
to gnaw 1t at his leisure in the retire
ment of the sleeping-car dressing-room.
Then there is clash of plates and glasses
and of knives and forks that turn around
in their handles, and the sad-eyed mis-
creant brings you the coffee and turkey
with take-it-Or-leaYe-it just-as-you -
please air. Before he comes back with
the salt and mustard an interval elapses
during which he serves seven more
hungry passengers, and dives into
an ante-rOom where he seems, to you. to
rest five or six minutes. You feel that
your system demands bread. You i'm
agine that the ''tifteen minutes for refresh
ments' are about up, and, in desperation,
you load your internal economy with in
dOughndts, because you are
afraid to wait for the bread, and you scald |
the Inning OF the roof of your mouth with !
the hot, gritty fluid called coffee. Every
thing is gritty and taste of coal dust, and |
you feel uncomfortable and unclean and |
you wish you were dead. Then you pay
the caitiff behind the counter so cents.
and you wish you were dead some more
while you rush out thinking that the train
10 IHONihg OlA, UuI you unu IndG you nave |
only been pampering your appetite in
the banquetipg hall for five minutes,
and that YOU have yet ten minutes to
spare, and you go back to the lunch
counter and buy two cigars for
quarter. AS the train pulls out and goes
laundering past farm houses, where you |
know are stacks Of homemade pies. piles |
of fiaky biscuits, churns full of hilarious
buttermilk, and tables grOaning with |
VI oh IL.
potatoes, you curse the railroads that
allow the grasping, hydra-headed and |
smoke-begrimmed Understand monopoly |
to exist, and by that time your two-f0r-a- |
quarter cigar begins to swell up in the |
middle and fray at the edges. You, out |
of consideration for the feelings of the |
other passen gers, leave the smoking-car
and finish the cigar on the rear platform,
where the winds carry the 1215-cent. etflu-
via out into the adjacent settlements and
makes the honest granger think that the
cholera has come at last.