, 1884-11-20
MODERN HIGHWAYMEN
Some Incidental Remarks About
sieeping-car Porters.
ssChicaxo sleeper, STRIP The Delicate
FIattery and consummafe Dex-
terity OF the Portsr-The
Hiehwaynaan's weapon

present. Jay. ino HiEuNdJnhus VINO has
long left the slower thoroughfarez, now APP
pears as the porter OF palace cars As you
pas the ticket gate aud eomo alongside the
long line OF cars standing engineless, waiting
for passengers, you Will notice the porter
waiting at the steps OF the Pullman or
Wagner. and as the crowd passes him he
reitcrates tho words:
aChicngo sleeper, sirf'
These words are varied according 10 the
train. Il may be Rochester sleeper or Bnf-
falo sleeper, or St Louis sleeper. BE never
says '~Sieeping-car.H II you arc tired and
want 10 get to he'd soon, you say to the high
waymnn:
4 wish you would max up my berth rs
soon as possible"
switch Is your berth, slrf7
ALowor three on the Venezuela"
Very sorry, sir; but three ladies, a sick
gentleman and a couple Of young men are
ahead OF you, SIR"
As you turn away he says:
IN SEQ what can do FOR you. sir. I'll do
my best. sir"
Later he comes to you and says in a conf
Dental mannsr-a sort Of husky whisper:
"rve managed so as to got your berth made
up second, sir. Lower three, l think you
said, sir. l always lfks 70 oblIge an old
patron OF the road, SIR
This latter phrase Is a delicate bit OF fat
tory. Ho wants you TO think that he recog-
nizes you as an old hand When the train
starts IL Is q busy time for the porter, and he
works in rather straitened quarters very
deity. People pass and rspass Inn In tho
narrow isle, but his politeness never varies.
A dozen are at him to get their berths made
up, and with great tnct 10 satisfies them all
His method OF working is worth attention
He places the inevitable valise under the seat
- a. -. n.a4n 80 e ruokfro n kaI ~
IL lower berth. Then be lets down the up
per shelf and takes out the end boards and
fits them into place, fastening down the up
per shelf 70 that by no possibility can the
lower tenant push it up II ho Is
the only occupant Of the section 1t would
never do to lot the lower tenan ave
80 much space for his 81 He takes out 4
mattress and spreads It over the lower scat
He goes to the cupboard with q mirror for
its door and takes some clean white pillow
slips and a couple Of sheets therefrom, and
holding the slip In his teeth alps the pillow
inside. Tbs manner In which ho spreads
sheeta and quilts on the bed is most admira-
Tia. The space Is very limited and he, with
a REGULAR and indescribable jerk, lands the
sheet just where Il belonga. He then turns
down the sheet and coverlet Ia q kind Of tri-
angular manner, pulls Town the window
blinds, filings the hooks Of the long curt6tls
over tho brAss rod at the top, tucks the cor
ners In and then: Lower three Is ready,
SIR"
The quichness with which "a car full Of
berths Is mad up by . porter who under
stands his business Is something marvellous.
In the dim watches OF toe night as you sleep
lessly toas on the hard mattress. while the
snore OF the fat man rises generously from
lower four, while the jerk OF the trains stop
page at some midnight station wakeus You
from the half rumbling semi-conscious state
into which you have fallen you hear at the end
Of the car Il steady swish SWISH This is tho
lonely porter's midnight solo on your shoes,
the one tangible book on which he bases his
claim for robbing you in the morning.
To try to escape tho portsrs lovy Of 20
cents Is a practical impossbility. Men have
boaated that they had the courage to do 80,
but no properly authenticated case has ever
come to light 1t requires an amount OF
bravery that the average American Is rot
possessed of. let him boast as ho may. II
highwayman's weapon is not Il sword or n
pistol. but a little apparently lnnocuous
broom-a clothes broom. He calls you up 70
thu captains office to settle In the following
manner:
"Brush you of, sirf
Thank you, / brushed myself OF e mo-
mens ago.
-1hars q lot of dust on tho back OF your
coat yet, sir"
II you still demur ho takes your hat and
gives 1t a most vigorous busting of, gradu.
ally leading you Of into the dread ante
chamber. Then be lays on Macduif. Ho
dusts you of With energy and precision Ao
puffs and pants over II and exert9 himself
very Wis bly,. Then he stands expectant and
draws hs hand across his heated brow Is II
he rarely encountered 50 rough a job. rs
seldom that a man Is 50 haruensd as 70 pass
that stage without his hand automatically
seeking the quarter that lies dosmant
in bis pants pocket; but grant for
the SAX of argument that there
Il a man who can calmly say thank you, .
and take his crimson scat in the car again.
The next stage Is after this fashion: The
porter walks up and down the aisle and stops
before you, saying:
"Did l brush you OF, sirF
@You did
-Ahem- I hope you're satisfied. sir"
Perfectly satisfied"
A Pause.
I'm glad you're satisfied, sir"
Another pause, during which you feel thas
the eyes Of all the passengers arc on you and
that you aro becoming unpleasantly con-
splcuous
awers your boots BACKED to suit you. sirY7
4rhoy wero wen backed
. You SOC, some likes one kind OF backing
and soma another. l generally give satisfa~
ton, sir; least, l never soeno gentlemen com
plain"
II you make no move at this, the tinal
catastrophe occurs. The highwayman drops
all politsness as thrown away on such a boor,
thrusts his hand before you whilo be holds
the Nhisp under his left arm, and deuiandss
Porter, please
Then be gets his quarter.