McCook weekly tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 188?-1886, 1884-04-17
AUNT BETHIA.

1t may be that our old-fashioned
aunt needs no introduction. Perhaps
you have met her in the city at some
recent art exhibition, where she sat
among the crowd, little bewildered,
but sufficiently alert, listening to the
glib chattering of the critics as they
discussed the merits of some valuable
landscape.
The same being, as she declared to
the friend accompanying her, "only a
picter of what anybody can see Cor
nothin' up to Craney Holler," where
she lives. "Why," said she, regarding
the great work of art with one eye shut
up, s'just 90 to our back door of a
summer morning and stand and look,
and there you have it, for all the
world!
'sThe same smooth, green medders,
with the pretty brooks windin' through
'em, and on both sides, to the right
and left, the pastur' lands, where the
cattle are fed, SO peaceful and con-
tented; then, way off in the distance,
them solemn-lookin' mountains, with
the shadders creepin' round 'em, or
restin' on their tops; and all the time
the sun shines bright and pleasant be-
low in the valley.
81 do declar, could almost believe
the man stood in our back door when
he painted that picter!
at is a han some view, and no mis-
take; but don't it seem pity to spend
so much money just for picter, when
you could buy small farm-a live
picter, as it were-for thousand dol
larsp''
She sees much of our city to disap-
prove. Most of the so-called modern
improvements are denominations to
Aunt Bethia.
The electric light finds no favor in
her eyes.
Show must our Maker look on'tp''
she asked Indignantly.
s'It wouldn't be so bad if they had
only used it as they do gas, or kerosene
lie; but when they come to light up all
outdoors with it, and make it take the
place o. the heavenly bodies that's
what l call impious! nothin' more nor
less than tryin' to Guido the Creator!
When the moon and stars don't shine,
let the people walk in the dark, or else
carry a lantern!" says she, whimsi.
caly.
The telephone she regarded as an in
fernal machine, and insists that there
is something supernatural about it.
She has never been prevailed upon to
use it once.
81 won't have anything to do with ii
in any way nor SHAPED" says she. "Jes,
as if any human invention could dc
what that thing does!"
So she always keeps a safe distance
from it, as if it were liable to "go Off
at any moment or play some diabolical
trick upon her.
She does not approve to the ''Quincy
Method" in our schools, and much pre-
fers to have the children learn theil
lessons from their books and recits
them standing in nice straight line
with their toes to crack in the floor
She would like more prominence giyer
to order and to the Ten Command
ments; and she sadly misses the dinner
baskets and the water pail and tin dip
per.
She does not like the new version O
the Scriptures; her mothers Bible is
good enough for hsr; and she takes NJ
interest in the great controversy, ex
cept to mourn that there should b,
such wicked and disorderly going on il
this world.
She went to see the opera of Spa
uence," and her womanly soul wa
shocked beyond repair at the conduc
of the lovesick maidens; felt personal
Iy Inundated and disgraced, and ga
there with burning cheeks, not darins
to go, and too indignant to stay and SCI
it through.
Words were thrown away upon her
.sAll the words In the English Ian
xuage,n she declared to us, 'scouldn'
excuse or explain away such a shameful
exhibition-such immodest behavior OF
the part of those young girls. TIL
trollopes!" said she angrily, "where il
the world were their mothers? Poo
things, though" she added, rs an at
terthought, ssperhaps they hadn't an,
mothers; I can't believe they had"
Estheticism and the Renaissance, a
she understands them, are only delu
sions of the adversary, invented to ruiz
weak and idle souls who loiter in tn
by-paths of life, and she believes tn
only salvation for such is to 60 t.
work.
s.Let 'em do something practical,
she will say. ''H they're so 'mazin