The Wilmingtonian., 1884-12-20
HUMOROUS.

A New Jersey woman named her boy Ben
Jamln Butler and wrote to Ben announcing
it. Butler answered that he would try to
live SO that the boy would never be ashamed
of his name Is it possible that Ben is going
to reform.
An exchange says: "Steamers passing
the site of the Barthold statue have been
requested to salute it by giving three
whistles, as reminder of the monuments
significance" One more whistle might be
added as reminder of the pedestal's in
significance.
The poor woman had stepped upon an up
turned tack, and her condition grew serious
until a physician was consulted. He was
explaining to her husband, who said:
"And do you think, doctor, that she will
have the lockjaw?" 'I'm afraid SO, NV
man." "Thank you sir: thank you. Those
are the first encouraging words I've had
| Post Express.
At fancy dress party short time ago a
young lady was dressed in marvellous
dress of green and red in which imaginative
eyes were supposed to discover some more
or less resemblance to lettuce and lobster,
what do you represent, Miss Mp" gen
tleman inquired, as they took their places
in set Don't you seeP" she returned,
laughing; "I'm a salad' comp was her
partners retort, while he flashed quick
eye over the very liberal exposure of her
person; ''but haven't you forgotten to put
on the dressing2"
"Im fun Misteh Brown, mum, gen 'le-
men what lives 'crost de way. He says
won't yer please shut dem winders wen de
young ladys playing'?'
"But thought Mr.. Brown was musical
himself?"
"Thass whut's de mattah, num-
Giving him one: What in the name of
Tennyson does the Stockton Herald mean by
this coupet:
The dead steer by the dumb,
Going downward with the flood.
Who has lost steer. anyway 0akland
(Cal) Times
One of the latest recipes: If you step on
a dudes foot you are likely to make calfs
foot jelly.
THE WAY WAS CLEAR
young eolored man looked at the win
dow Of the Atlanta police station and an
xiously inquired:
"Captain,, is you ais got Bill Davis in de
callyboose yit?"
Yes; do You want to see him?'
mo, sab! | dess wanted ter know whud-
der Good go down ter his house ternight .
''Well, you can ask him."
Il don't wonter AK i'm; dess wanter ter
kno' eff he wuz hyar, and gwintcr stay in. {"
"What do you mean?''
''Well, boss, Use otin Bills gal, an--an'
yes Use de berry same nigger what he
busted down er panel oh fence wid last
Chuscday night"
He was assured that Bill was safe for the
night. Georgia Cracker.
KENTUCKY PRODUCTS.
"What are the products of Kentucky?"
asked the teacher.
'Tobacker!" yelled little Sammy.
"What else?''
"WhiskeyP" yelled Tommy
"What else?''
"Kumcls!' yelled Johnny.
what seems to be the ma.tes?" he asked,
mildly, as they were returning from church;
"didn't you enjoy the sermon?"
ENJOY the sermon?" she repeated, short
ly, "and that odious Mrs. Smith sitting di-
rectly in front Of me with new fall wrap
on thar never cost cent l., IS than $12j
You must think have very warm relig-
ous temperament. '-New York Sun.
Why is life like a harness? Because life
contains traces of care, lines of trouble, bits
of good fortune, breaches of good manners s.
and bridLed tongues, and every one has tug
to pull through Golden days.