Madison times. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1884-1???, 1884-06-28
THE ETHICS OF SUICIDE.
An Eficacious Method of shufiiing on the
NNnrtol sCoil

An Emcac1Ous methO0 OF enumfng On the
OH. .. @ Mortal Coil.
PHILADELPHIA Times.
"Did you ever look into the ethics of
suicide?" asked student with a fierce
red beard, one ola party who sat sip
ping their beer around table in the
Bungalow, on Medical street, in the rear
of Jefferson College. Receiving mega
tive answer from his companions, he
said: Il have, and am surprised at the
british ways of self-destruction so preva-
lent and the utter lack of taste display
ed in the consummation Of the same,
even by some people of whom we would
be led to expect something better!r
"If ] wanted to shuttle off, quavered
sleepy-looking "medic," ~ would take
laudanum.'
"Tco common" said the red whiskers,
in disguised tone; besides, if YOU hap
pened to take an overdose, look what
laundering sick stomach you'd have af-
terward. AS have said, l have looked
over the matter thoroughly and ration
ally and, would choose"
"To drive a poniard straight through
the heart" interrupted blue-eyed youth,
in check suit. 80. ...-t.
Thunder, no." calculated the other;
that is too old-fasiiioned and is entirely
too romantic for this progressive, age.
| The deadly poniard is seldom used of
L a. ot CIT t,.l-f
Besides, it is liable to lodge somewhere
in fellows lungs and cause him seri-
ous trouble and no little amount of ex-
pense. It's british" { l,r'.-J .i.
"Now, if I wanted to 90 I'd load un
to the muzzle with water, clap the muz-
zIe to my mouth and clip-all's. over"
venturej wild-eyed fellow, as he lit a
cigarette.
Heavens how can you advance such
a preference? That's certainly crank's
fmethod. That trick in hydraulics is
deuced uacleah one and makes a big job
for the kalsominer. Now, for my part
fwould-
'Blow tut your. brains with rifle bar.
relied pistol, irterjected some one,
Wrong again. I would not use 2is
toll. And if Il werelI WOULD not use one
with long barrel. .--firy are deuced un
handy-a mans hand is liable to trem
bic and the pill goes wandering some
where where it has DO business. If !
used pistol would prefer bulldog o.
Derringer that has little or no barrel, g
f lwhen the bullet leaves the chamber. ]
goes Immediately to the part for whicl
it is destined. Besides, this method j
; too common. Give me-" =.
"a plunge into the dark waters of tn
e Iriver," again ventured the youth in tn
lcbeck snit. ...@ G4L
"No, that way is too wet. and then tn
dogIfish are liable to eat you out of SEN
!, blance. The daisiest water methof
n though, was adopted by a friend ef min
! some time ago. He got mixed up owe
1.-THE fifteen puzzle, and bought a bag {
lshot, tied it around his neck and jumpe
overheard from fcrryboat. They, neve
p found Him. But the best way is to"
Take hydrocyanic acid,D said stt
n dent with Mephistophelean cast
4 features. Il .~'
J. Pretty good, but too rapid. Doesn'
8 give chap time for second thought.
n you want to enjoy all the delights Of
well-conducted and genteei suicid ejust-
T. "What?". calculated the crowd.
z"Eatr a clearinghouse tenderloi
if steak" shrieked red whiskers, as b
a dodged shower of glasses. r.- =: