The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-02-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Although the lower animals cannot
talk, they are nearly all tail-bearers.-
oil city Blizzard.
Candor.-Insulted Gentleman: "You
are indebted to my cowardlce, you
young scoundrel, that l don't knock
you down. Puck.
There is a man in Pittsburgh so fond
of "fiash" literature that he won't read
anything but a powder magazine
Pittsburgh Telegraph.
A beautiful maid in Bismarck,
When the lamp was turned down for spark
Smuggled up to her Fred,
And tremblingly said,
az always feel skeered in the dark"
A Burlington boy sent for a fifty
cent watch, and received a sun-dial.
He has named it "Faith," because
faith without works is dead. Free
Press.
There is tenement house in New
York in which are 10 families. Those
living next to the roof boast of their
belonging to the upper llO.-BOstOn
Transcript
Ascientifc writer says the American
to-day is not the bilious man of fifty
wears ago. Mol The bilious man of
fifty years ago succumbed to the doc
tors long ere this.-BoStOn Post.
Let us have more cream pie Could
anything be simpler than the follow
ing recipe, which we clip from an
exchange: "Take cream enough to fill
n dish. add eggs and flavor to the
taste"
Matthew Arnold was, it is stated,
surprised at not being met IN New
York by Indians. If the Indians had
ever read any of his poetry they would
have doubtless met him there.-Ar-
kanSQ1O I'rGceler.
Smith (rulied): "Iello, Jones: I'm
glad to see YOU" Jones, pretending
not to recognize Smith for fear he'd
! tap him for loan: my dear sir, you
have the advantage of me-" ~ es,
most any one has who possesses ordl-
nary intelligence. The HooSter.
"Who was that man who just
passed." said Blinks to his friend,
with whom he was walking down
town. "You mean the one who called
me by my first name?' "Yes; rather
familiar, l should say" "Oh, that's
nothing strange; he's my barber. =
LolOeH Citizen
"Give me- said the schoolmaster,
"a sentence in which the words "a
burning shame are properly applied"
Immediately the bright boy at the
head of the class went to the black
board and wrote: "Satan's treatment
of the wicked is a burning shame. -
Philadelphia Chronicle
1t is very often that you see a young
lady turn around to see what lady
friend has on when they pass on the
street, But about the only man who
takes the trouble to wheel around and
look at a fellow pedestrian is the tailor
who is anxious to get glimpse of the
creditor who is airing one of his hung
up SUITS YoRkerS Statesman.
"Gracious, Henry" exclaimed an
Austin lady to her husband, "you
didn't drink all that bottle of claret
alone, did you?' "Alone, darling!
replied Henry. "Oh, no; didn't drink
it alone. / had Just taken two toddie'
and rum punch before tackled the
claret. / thought the claret ltseli
might be a little lonesome. "-Ierd'
] SQtiRgS
Wife, to husband: 81 want you 4
e give John good scolding this morn
ing, dear" Husband: "a good scold
' ing! Why, my dear, / have no faul
to find with John. Isn't he a good
= faithful seryant?" Wife: "Yes, he
: a good enough servant and all thai
but want him to beat a lot of caIpe
q and he won't do it half hard eno0g
D if he is not right mad Ph!!aaeEPh'
CAL