The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-01-26
WIT OF Ala GEN, UKIES,


Germany. E
WIT OF ALI GEN UlIES.
A New Collection Of Old and Hcw vii
and Visions Cpl
Martin Farquhar Upper? Not 80, gen.
tic reader. 1t would be hard to find in III /.
long extinct "Proverbial Philosophy" a
1.-THE or hundredth part Of the wit which
Mr.. Brown has marshaled in bis little book,
ind as TO the wisdom, some have the te-
merity to BAY that Upper consists mainly
Of very tenuous, commonplscea and tru.
isms drawn out to infinite length. Mr..
Browns wit and Wisdom Of proyerbinl
Philosophy" is a compilation III which
large number Of old proverbs and familiar
quotations arc arranged alphabetically and
accompanied with variations. IIarper's
Drawer, the funny column Of almost any
Of the afternoon dailies, Sunday papers and
almanacs must have been railsasked aud
niauy Of their treasures have been appro
priated. Undoubtedly tho careful reader
and saver OF such sparks would be able 10
lnserleave Mr.. Browns book and double
lta size, but 1t is nevertheless a very lArs4
and enjoyable collection, and the wit Is
Sufficient screened by the wisdom % keep
toe blaze from being painful. Perhaps the
scope oil the work can best be seen by
taking page or Two at raudom:
A sELF.MADE MAN.
Our self-made men are the gory CT our
inEitutions.-IPende'l Philips-Speech in
Boston, December q, 1860.
Some men VINO clam to ba seiimade
men art not very we'll done.
Sel!.made men are most clwus ant ,ew ba
q leetle too proud OF the job.-Josh BILLINGS
Sell men are Very prone TO usnrp
the prerogativs Of the Almighty aud over
work themselves. They IRE not satisfied
With the position Of division superintena.
ent OF creation, but they want 10 be mos,
worthy high muck'a-muck Of the entire
ranch. or their lives are gloomy izzles.-
Bill Nye.
A d,unken member OF Parliament said
to the Attorney General one day, II am
telf.made man, am." Then ar" replied
philosophical Attorney General, "the inc.
relieves the Almighty Of great respond.
bili,y." ="
Hell is full Of good meanings and wish.
in2s.-Gemge Herbert; Jacuia P,,tdentum.
Good intentions are, at least, the seed o.
good actions, and every man ought to sow
them, and leave 1t to the soil and the sea.
SONS whether they come up or not, and
whether he or any other gaslers the iru,l.
Sir William Temple.
He'll is paved With good intentiong-s
proverb full Of wit, and, fully understood,
means the road to hell il paved with GOOD
Intentions, for to give it atty other inter.
probation would lead TO IN absurdi.y. w..
Political provert: Washington ia paved
with good iutsntious-NtW York SUI.
Old proverbs suggested or implied, crop
out in the commonrst joke: .,.l
" am going 10 turn over a new leaf" as
the caterpillar remarked Hhen he bau
successfully ruined the one LIE was on
Baltimore Every Saturday.
a tramp's motto: A little earning is a
dangerous thing. $50, ~
Even malt loaf Is better than loaliny
all the time" Many people Of the work
ing claes will testify 10 this version Of the
proverb.-Chicago Tins.
How eau procraslinstion be the thief OF
time when it never comes up 10 time.
Dublin once bra,led magistrate, on.
Justice O'Mallsy, whose elyuueuce and
eiudition made him the pr de and deliyh,
Of the city. "S,, sorr," BIZ once thunder.
ed to an old offender, who had often es-
capped what the Judge Away spoke Of as
the "butt end OF the law" Fare about to
incur the pinilty Of yer maleiac,ion, Jus
tlce, sorr, may pursue wild leaden heel, but
she smites"-here the quotation eluduu
him-''she smi,es wild II cast.iron toe"
1t WIS the same redonbtable Irisbmau
who made the famous mixed metaphor:
Mr.. Speaker: I emell rat. l see him
floating in the air; bu. mark me, sir,
will nip him in tho bud" Mir. Brown
quotes the explanation Of tho quotation,
Il smell Il rat" given in Brewers "phrsss
and Fable" 1t is 50 commonplace as 10
be almost ludicrous. "The allus,on," saws
Brewer, "is to cat smelling rat" 'E
"Tae Wit audWisdon OF Proyerb;al Phi.
losophy" may be confidently recommend.
ed to any unaedged willing who thinks
that he Is all the time getting off something
original. Ho will llnd that most OF his jokes
and w'ttic:sms are as old as Theodore Hook
and Sidney Smith, and tia. what is anna
rently new has been pre.empted perhaps
dozen times by the Don Quick Shots Of the
modern press. It ia especially recommend.
ed by the editors Of Life, for reason that
every one who reads tina. brilliant period
cal will be ready 10 appreciate.
FL q