The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-02-06
HUMOR Of THE DAY

OGE bIuC btAlo-I1dn.
A deer child-A fawn.
Coats of arms-Sleeves.
Flooral decorations-Rugs.
A stuck-up man-The taffy maker.
The " poets scorner'' in newspaper
is usually the editor. -Rochestcr Express.
Niagara falls. Well, you wouldn't ex-
pect it to run up hill, would yous-
Rochester Post.
A Joint rssolution-The determination
of the landlady to have leg of mutton
for dinner. .--LosoeH Courier.
The Washington Hdtchst announces
that prose and verse viii be paid for at
the regular rates, and that s'the rate for
verse is death"
Barnum's white elephant cost him
5000, 900. Many more costly white ele-
plants have been owned in this country.
-LOaOeU Courier.
A Frenchman is teaching a donkey to
talk. What we want in this country is
man who will teach dopkeys not to
alk-BostOn Post.
''Dig him out Dig him outw said
the wife of the man who got buried by
a caving well ''he's got at least six
dollars in his pocket"
The London World tells of new con-
trivance to make ladies taller The ladies'
have contrivances enough for making
men short.-Neso York World.
Professor Swing says that ''poetry
arises from the fact that man likes to
see two things at once" And yet all
inebriates are not poets.- Graphic.
An exchange advises bread and milk
poultices as cure for scratches. Young
husbands will do we'll to note this down
in their diaries, for future reference.-
Burlington Free Press.
Making young man clerk in dry
goods store, it Is said, knocks all thoughts
of matrimony out of his head. He not
only learns what it costs to dress woman,
but he realizes how they can talk.
The christening of an iAfant archduch-
ess of Austria occurred lately. The fact
came by cable. The name of the royal
infant win be sent over by steamer as
soon as the royal secretaries get it copied.
In railway carriage; Guibollard
asks, very politely, Madame, does smok-
ing trouble youG" ''Oh, yes, monsieur; I;
not ordinarily, but to-day" 'Ahl
madame, 4" replies Guibollard, in very
sympathetic tone, show much you are
about to sufferm
Eyes" said one tramp to another, '1've
got tired of packing around from one
hotel to another and I've taken fiat.
Fine air, good view of the river, plenty
of room and privilege of the bath, but
come down and see for yourself, and he
led the way to a water-logged coal barge.
Saturday Night.
Are poets fclxle and inconsistent Are
they sordid, selfish, ungrateful, and like
the cold and heartless, dull and prosaic
world which surrounds themg Why did
Ella Wheeler write: 81 do not love him
in the old fond wayf' or if she must
write it, why did she wait till the ice
cream season was overt Chicago Sun.
The least destructibIe portion of the
human body is the hair. In Egypt it
has been known to survive 1000 years.
And the Egyptian were not as careful Of
their hair, either, as are the women Of the
present day. They never took it of at
night and hung it over the back of a
chair to prevent it from getting worn out.
-NoTTiSt0soR Herald.
81 know" said little Chicago girl TO
her elder sisters young man, at the sup
per table, ''that you will join our society
for the protection of little birds, because
mamma says you are very fond of larks. "
The youth promptly handed over a five
dollar note as an initiation fee, and
thinks in due time he will be a full
fledged ornithological humanitarian. =
Chicago telegram.
The Mississippi carries annually to the