Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-10-10
Humnr Of the OaY.

or the republican party.
Humor Of the Day.
A teacher asked bright little girl
the other day what country was oppo-
site to us on the globe,
II don't know, sit," was the reply.
Well, now," pursued the teacher, "if
were to bore hole through the earth
and you were to go in at this end where
would you come outr"
"Out of the hole, sir" said the pupil
in triumph.-New York World.
High tea: (which part Of the cake
will you take, Johnnie 2'
"Oh, guess I'll take the soprano"
"The soprano-what do you mean ?''
1.-The upper part, of course, mai
Burlington Free Press.
"Arise with the lark and with the
lark to bed" read little boy from the
third reader. Then he stopped mo-
ment and contemplated the picture of
a lark at the head of the lesson.
"Mamr.a," said lie, "that Iarks toe
nails are SO long I'd lie afraid to go to
bed with him. Saginaw Courier.
"Bub, will you hold my horse for ms
about ten minutes ?''
"Not exactly. l kin git ten minutes
most any time; but III hold him for
yer for about ten cents. ."-Yonkers
Gazette.
A CONSIDERABLY DIFFERENCE.
New York Broker-"No, my dear, l
cannot take you to Saratoga this year"
His Wife-"You can't, indeed2 l
should like to know why 7'
''I can't afford it,"
"The idea Why, the Simpersons arc
going to Newport the same as usual,
and Simperson has failed too"
Exactly, my dear, j haven't"
"Well?"
"Why, have to stay at home and
pay my debts. ."-Philadelphia Call.
SHE MADE HIM THINK so.
"And so now they're engaged? Well,
Jessie, to think of you, with your beau
ty and accomplishments and your love-
ly voice being cut out by such an igno-
rant little fright as that Maggie Quick
son You sang to him, | suppose 7''
"Yes, mamma, by the hour. But she
made him sing, you know, and played
his accompaniments for him."
why, can he sing p
mo, mamma, but she made him
think he could. London Punch.
A TEGAI, REASON
"IIave yeu any good reason why you
won't believe the witnessy" asked the
| Justice.
eyes, sir.'
"Isn't he honest in money matters"
Eyes, sir.n
Doesn't he. pay his bills and keep
his promisesf'
yes, sif.'
"Then what is it?'
Hes fisherman"
HE WASN'T THE KID.
"Boyr' he called as he snapped his
finger at postoffice boot-black, "are
you the boy I handed a dollar bill to
yesterday to get changed, and you beat
me out of fifteen cents?"
''Look outi How do you know you
ain't2"
"Cause; do look like the hoy who'd
beat you out of shilling when i could
walk off with the dollarl Stranger, you
must have got hold of some poor leetle
kid who's Just begun biznessl"-De-
troit Free Press.
HE HAD SEEN HIM.
An old gray, wrinkled man sat in a
fashionable restaurant.
Excuse me, sab" said a waiter ap-
preaching; "seems tome, sab, rs seen
you befo' some place.
Yes, you saw me when 1 was a
young man. full of health and vigor,
with bright eyes and raven locks and a
keen appetite"
81 disremember, sab; wha' was it?"
fright here. Don't you remember2'
"Waal, now, sab, ct does seem to me
like has mighty faint recollection OBJ
you. But you see, sab, rs gettin' ole
an my memory amt es good es 1t use
to be.n
Perhaps can tell you a little cir
cumstance that viii refresh your MEM
ofy of me-"
What's dat, sah?"
81 ordered my dinner of you, and
have been waiting here ever since for
it,