davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
witty Waits.

"How do you pronounce 's-t-in-
CIV p " asked the teacher Of the Ounce Of
the class. The boy replied, 1T de-
ponds a good deal whether the word re-
fers to a person or a bee"
What is a lake," asked the teacher.
A bright little Irish boy raised his band.
Well, Mickey, Whist Is it?' "Sure it's
d hole in the kettle num-
A countryman was sowing his ground
when two smart fellows came riding by,
one of whom called out, with an insolent
air.,
well, my good man, It's your bust
ness to SOW; but we reap the fruits Of
your labor"
The rustic replied, cts very hkeyou
may, for just 10Y I'm sowing hemp"
"Do you believe that a woman nova
lays would die for the object OF her
lover" asked a bachelor friend Il
don't know whether she'd die or not,
answered the benedict, ''but I've known
her to go wild when the trimming didn't
suit her."-Newport News.
Can a man marry a deceased wife's
sister III any part Of America Mot UNI
less the sister is willing, and as a gem
eral thing she isn't. She knows him too
we'll.
ii have no wealth, " she said; Il can
giveyou only my hand andheart." And
then he thought that if her heart was
as big as her hand he was indeed
wealthy.
Little Aggie's sister had invited her
young man to tea. There was a hull in
the conversation, which was broken by
the inquisitive Aggie: Papa is dose
fedders ober Mr.. Wobinson's mouf?"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
Words of Wisdom.

Reason is but analysed faith.-Schu-
mann.
The wise man avenges injuries by
benefts.-Chinese
The first stem To virtne is To love
virtue in another. Samuel Maunder.
As the body is purified by water, so
is the soul by truth.-Manee, Hindu.
Man is a reasoning rather than a
reasonable being Sir William Hamil-
ton.
Verify hypocrites sink into a lower
abyss than any other sinner .-Moham-
med.
Good taste rejects excessive nicetv;
it treats little things as little things.
and is not hurt by them,-Fenelon.
The pit which is not born from expert
ence is always cold. It cannot heIp be-
ing so;it does not understand.-Ouida
II men had only temptations to great
SINS, they would always be good but the
daily fight with little ones accustoms
them to defeat.
IL Is useless to attempt to reaso on a
man out of anything he was never rea-
soned into. Reason is n very light rider
and easily shaken of. Dean Swift.
II cuts one sadly TO see the grief Of told
people ; they We no way Of working il off.
and the new spring brings no new shoots
out on the withered ree.-George Eliot.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
what Mon Have said Abopt wo-

The man who a govern a woman
can govern q nation -Balzac.
Tits easier to makeall Europe agree
than two women.L Louis XIV.
God created the coquette rs soon as
lie had made the fool.-Victor Hugo.
A woman who has surrendered her
lips has surrendered everything. Ward
OF all heavy bodies, the heaviest is the
woman We have ceased to loye.-Lemon-
tey.
Woman is q charming creature, who
changes her heart as easily as her gloves
--Balzac.
Who takes an eel by the tail or a wo-
man at her word soon finds he holds
nothing Proycrb.
How many would laugh at the fun
erals of their husbands if it were notthe
custom 20 weep?
Women deceIyedby men want to mar
~ them it is a kind Of revenge as good
as any other. -Beaumanoir.
An asp would render its sting more
venomous by dipping it into the heart
of a coquette. -Poincelot.
Rascal That word on the lips OF a
woman, addressed to a too darling man,
often means-angels.
We meet in society many attractive
women whom we would fear TO make our
wiyes.-D'Harleville.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

Neenah, Wis, Special; Sheriff Gay OF Med
ford passed through here on his way from
Chiffon, where he had been To serve
papers on Mrs = H. Keeled, the unhappy
woman whose name was connected with the
tragic death OF Dr. = B. HnbbelL The shefiff
says he went % Chiffon 10 serve papers IN suit
for diyorcs brought by Postmaster Keeler
against his wife. Since tho tragedy Mrs
heaier has been stopping al the home Of her
father, John Harsh, in Chiffon. He said she
was greatly excited, and tears came 10 her eyes
as she read the document She protested
her innocence Of any criminal
wrong, and was so overcome by her feelings
that she tainted in the arms Of her father. The
sympathics Of the people OF Medford, the sheriff
SAYS, ace gr0wingin favor Of Mr.. Keeler. The
idea Of i being q Matchmaking scheme il scout
ed. and Mr.. kealet says he wants none Of the
money loft by Hubbci Sheriff Cav gave an ex-
pienaticn OF the fact that the letter @ DIR hnb.
hell Ind no stamp He said Mrs. Keeler had
placed tho letter in the doctors box, and Keel.
cr happened 10 look into the boz and discover
II Hercad ID in Mrs. Keeier's presence and
piulsd out his revolver, but his wife lodged
behind q woman who had accompanied her 70
The postofico aud escaped
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
Pere Hyacinthe on Mornonism

In a recent interview at Madison,
Wis, Pere Hyacinthe gave his views a
polygamy. He said tho Mormaus could
not be tolerated in Europe, Madams
Hyacinthe and | spent four days ia SAN
Lake City, carefully examining into this
nest of corruption. Madame Hyaeinthe
was so very fortunate as to be able -
meet svmeof the leading Mormon won.
en-, and they talked to her with rnes-
pected freedom. fh1 women all
hate polygamy, but are carried away
and dazcd by religious fanaticism ana
believe the system but asort of purgatoy
on earth o long season of personal deg
radiation to fit them for a bright heaven
~ existence. There were a number Of
female Mormon converts On the steamer,
when we came over; when told by other
passengers that they we're coming over
to JOIN q polygamic institution, they
went bitterly, but the prsoeiyting elder
IN charge of them assured his people q
the falslty OF the charge and Quoted
them. They come to this country from
Europe under false pretenscs, and do mol
leacn tho truth until too late TO escape
lt isa sad fate. Nothing in all christen.
dom a equal il in corruption aud hH'
mSn degradation We attended com
mnnion ia the tabernaeio when JGserr4
smith wa declared the eompeer o.
jesus. The ceremony and the teacil-
lngs were revolving to every sense ofd@
votion. But | would not use hash
measures, would attempt to eircate
them, to set them good moral examples
aad crowd civilization upon them. Much
individual wrong, especially 70 ta
hordes of deiuded women, would ii
low harsh treatmsnt. Kindness may
right the wrong; it is worth trying.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
French Dislisss Of Gen. Grant.

Rochefort, editor Of the Paris IutrAnsigcant,
continues violent attacks upon Gen Grant II
is reported that his reason Is that Grant re-
fused TO roceive him when IN Hmerica. Re-
chefort, In replying in his journal to the state
ment regarding ten. Grant, says:
never solicited Gen. Grant for an audience.
/ would have received one, but guarded my.
self from accepting. | would notforget how, as
president OF the United States duringthe war OF
is70 he lost no chance 10 show his hostility to
France Not only we're our defeats ssluted at
the White House by tossts TO German success
es, but Wasbburne. American minister TO
France, abused without shame his diplomatic
immunity, and made himself an active agent
Of Bismarck, and twice a week passed
through his hands adviees Of tho state Of
this siege addressed 10 King William Beratry,
now project Of Police at Paris, arrest
cd several American agents who were
spies in the service of Prussia, and
whom he expelled from the country. In
1873, President Graut WAS entertained AZ
a state dinner in Berlin, following a
review of German troops given in his honor.
He proposed a toast 10 the Emperor Bismarck
andtae German army which had beaten France,
saying; 'and after what we have Just seen,
viii always beat her. This style Of the rec0g.
milton OF tho services OF France during the
struggle for American independence arose from
tho need granite to manage the German vote
in his campaign for q third presidential term.
ii0chBf0rt's statements arc attracting unusu
OIL attention in Paris.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
Crimes ana Criminals.

Monroe Rindskopf, son OF Milwaukee's old
wbiskiy king, ID in San jose quod for forgery.
Sullivan and Mitchell have arranged Hghi
with soft gloves in Madison Square Garden, on
. date yet 10 be fixed
Monroo Rindskopf, son Of Rindskopt the
great ilicit whisky king OF Wisconsin, is in
jail at San Jose, Cal, on a charge Of forgery.
The young fellow represented himself as a
correspondent OF tho New York Herald and
Chicago Times, and siiceeeded in obtaining large
sums Of money on forged checkA He was once
very wealthy
George DeTorignes de Nera, said 70 bel
scion Of one Of the most noble families Of France
vas foind in his room in a hotel in New York
city, suffering scutoly from poison. He had
stepped the heads of matches in water and s1ai-
lowed il. de Nera has been drinking o. late and
a~espondent He has SIMPLE means, and 10 con
sia0rcd out Of danger.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
-
MUSCULAR CHRISTIANITY


Peter Cartwright was the name of a
well. know Methodist pioneer. He
was a sort of q peregrinating pigeon,
who flew over the hills and swamps up
on his apostolic wings. Hefeared moth
ing, and was as strong as he was brave.
At a certain camp meeting he got into
trouble with a set Of roughs who had
tried to break up the services. Mai. L.,
who was a prominent citizen, though a
great sinner" identified himself with
the roughs, and, flying into a desperate
rage, said if he thought Cartwright
would fight him a duel he would chal-
lenge him.
Major, the preacher answered, "if
you challenge me 1 will accept it."
We'll, sir, Idare you to a mortal com.
bat"
"All right, sir; I'll fight you. And,
sir, according to the laws of honor I
suppose il is my right to choose the weap-
ons with which we are to fight"
Certainly" the Major replied.
wen tuGHt We VIII 9btD I'VE mere
into this lot and get some cornstalks. ]
think / can finish YOU with one"
The Major waxed hotte". He
clenched his fists and foamed with rage,
saying: IF / thought / could whip
you / would smite you in a minute
Yes, yes, Major the militant minis
ter asserted; ''but, thank God, o can't
whip me; only don't you at.
tempt to strike me, for if you do,
and the devil gets into me, / Shall give
you the worst whipping you e got in
all your life" That ended 1t.
Another bully threatened to whip the
Rev. Cartwright, who answered, "Sir,
/ never like TO live in dread. If o
really intend to whip me, come and do
il now"
The bully continued his curses and
threats, and the minister jumped of his
horse, and going to him, said, "Look
here, You have to whip me as you threat
ened, Or you will have to stop that ours
ing, or j viii put you in the river and
bapiize you in the name Of the devil.
for surely Won helong tn him.
The bully repented, and afterwards,
became n of the preachers best
friends.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

brown silk travelling dress. ran hastily
up the aisle, q tall, smiling gentleman
following her.
Aunt Rhoda woke up at inc frs kiss,
and looked with no apparent surprise
al the pretty, blooming face 50 near
hers.
II knew the Lord would send you,
Annie Carpenter Mather, said she.
"well, / guess no has, auntie," her
niece answered, half laughing and half
| CRYING OF the same time.
Well, Aunt Rhoda's troubles were
over then, of course. The old house
was secured TO her again, and she lived
there peacefully with her beloved Annie
Carpenter Mather for a number OF years.
But the story OF her ten-dlys' solorrn
in her church pew became one OF the
town legends of Camden.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
yArDERBnrs STRONG BOX.


From John swinton's Paper
stood the other day in the vault OF
the formidable fortress of iron and
masonry on Forty-second street, where
last year the richest nabo in the world
locked up his $780, 900 in stocks,
bonds and other securities. II Is N
of the most redoubtable works OF de-
| Tense on the American continent. though
o may not be entirely certain Of that
by surveying the building from the out
side. Its foundations were blasted ont
of the rock, the front wall is five feet IN
thickness, and the side and rear walls
| are three feet, the materials used beng
pressed brick with brown-stone trim
mings. The beams, girders and main
pillars are iron, incased in fire proof
material. The doors, wlndow-fremes
and minor partitions are iron,
marble and glass. No wood is
TO be found in the structure.
The great vault is 36x42 feet, OF
wrought iron, steel and Franklinite
iron. is imposing in strength and pro-
portions, and is situated on the ground
floor. Its four outer doors weigh $500
pounds each, and have every effective
and known improvement in defensive
devices. A massive wall of masonry
surrounds the iron work. The vault,
which is burglar, fire and waterproof,
constitutes a distinct building in itself.
The armed watchmen who guard the
building day and night are under the
strictest discipline, their hourly nov
ments being recorded by an electric
clock, connecting with various points
on each floor Of the structure, and there
are also wires running to police head
! quarters and the offices of the District
telegraph. In one corner of this great
vault, behind heavy iron bars, are the
heavier iron doors Of the works contain
ing the Vanderbilt securities, which
can be opened only by skeleton keys
held by the owner alone.
L suppose that 100 men u this build-
ing with Calling guns could easily de-
fend it against a mob of 100. 900 assail-
ants il could be reduced by nothing less
than the continued play of heavy srtilJ
lery. Itmay be a year since Vanderbilt,
hen worth" $500, DOC, 600, put the
largest part of his possessions in the
vault. He could not, perhaps, put more
than 5000, DOC, 900 under guard here at
that time; but he has added over Sl2,-
600 900 to his fortune within tho year,
though it has been a poor year. Tins
rapidly does the stupendous volume of
his unparalleled pile enlarge. Nothing
like such growth of any mars wealth
was ever before known in the world.
Every year, in the nature of things, the
growth increases, so that the estimate
of the best informed mel is, that by the
year 1890 he will be able to pile up not
less than $500, 000, 600 in his great iron
vault behind walls five feet thick.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
From lhe SOC York MORNING JohrnaI

From The New York Morning Journal
Miss Carrie Aston, the y~oungesi
daughter OF Mrs. and Mr.. William AZ.
tor, is engaged to .Orme Wilson, ths
brother OF Mrs. Ogden Goelet. ls
engagement has Just become known.
The young woman and her moinef -
on the sea, bound to Pairs after ~
bridal trousseau. The wedding WI
take place in the fall and viii pes
splendid affair. Many valuable sets =
diamonds, rubies, sapphires and peaf%
are to be reset for the bride, and osss
her white satin dress she viii wear
lace veil of rare value. Several Worsp
aud Pingat dresses will be in the !u0us
sean, and fine laces and other appafas
will also be imported for the yoaas
bride.
Miss Aston is 20 years old and mas
her debut in society three seasons ~
She is the Youngest daughter and isns
ess to several millions or dollars. or
is slightly below the medium he'sAs
and of slender form. Her compisAses
Is white, her eyes a gray blue, snae,s
by long iashes, and her hair rs ~
yellow, worn in q Grecian knot. ~
needless 10 say that Miss Astor has "
ceived offers by the bushel. Count :
Harnoncourt, il is said, was refused !.
her, although his family is
old
Mr.. Orme Wilson is a young msa \
twenty-five years, tall and handso4
and is one Of the favorites ~ soc's's,
He belongs to several clubs and - knor-
~ a leader OF the german
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

Charles OsConof's will beqaesths TO tho NeS
York Law institute 81 the bound volumcsi in his
library msrkes my opinioas,1 and all thsse
marked my o,sn Cases; sso,oNin money AMI
two silver testimonials 70 Mrs. Eiizabcth W.
johnson; Miss Folger, Rose Brnyion and Miss
Isabella Chahin 10000 each, and TO the last
| named his house and lpt IN Nantucket; 70 Ann
Ross 5000 After a few minor bequeets, he
divides the residue OF the estate two-thirds %
his sister, Eliza M. Sloane, and the remaining
third 20 Miss JnIis Mullany. Charles w
Sloane and Thomas 0Conor Sloane are st
pointed executors. In . codicil his nephew.
Thomas Sloane, Jr., is bequeashed al his his
tofcsl, political and religious works; Mile r.
Lasaberf0n Is given all the Law books in charge
of Whitehead, New York; all papers having
relation to Tennessee bondholders' claims are
given 10 Amory Stevens. The papers concern
ing his doings in the matter on Jefferson Davis
and these concerning his intercourse with Mrs
FORESTS Affairs he deyisss to be carefully pre-
served
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
Market Reports.

sr. PAUL. Wheat No. 1 hard, msasl.OSi
No !, Dc; No 2 hard, gi6ea5c; No. 2, SbfteS1
Corn, No. 2. Soc; No. 3, 58e: rejected sc.
oats, No Z mixed, Slei No 8 mixed, 20c;
4Sc =
Rye, No. 9, Soc
Baled Hay. wild, $40, timothy, eli.
Potatoes, pc.
Eggs, l3c.
MILWAUKEE, Wheat No 2, s9lsc
Corn. No. 2. S5c.
Oats, No. 2, 3l1sc; white, S6aSiJsc.
Rye, No I, Gl1Sc
Barley, Nc 2 dlei extra, No. 3, Sic
Mess Pork, si&7a
Lard. $500
Bntter, choice creamery. tSataa; fair 10
gcsd, l7esisc; best dairy, lsaiGo
Eggs, 13c
mSS4c.
Corn, 50y5c.
oats, Si@3ikc.
Rye, Gle
Barley, GTc.
Flax Seed, SI.Ga
Pork, 81 S50msIaOo
Lard, sS~f5asSI7i%.
Butter, creamery, aN2@5c; dairy, iS9l9c
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05
Auoth.r oovernment D,fAuIter.

Col 30 r. Burnside, disbursSog officer o.
the postofice department, was on Thursday
the 10Th, removed from Office and arrested on
the charge Of cmbezzlemens The amount as
stated by himself, viii exceed $4,000, aud 81
Is usual IN such cases the Trouble is traced &c
speculation in Wall street stocks, and probably
has Hofae connection with the late Lewis brok
or swindle. This In the third case Of emhez.
element Ia this sane department and same Of
hce. o p Burnside was appointed 3 third.
class clerk ia the postosbee department june
1853 He has been & prominent social figure 10
Washington. Some days since Postmaster Gen
ersl Gresham learned that Burnside was spec
ulating and called upon him for an explanation,
which was plausible, bat not satisfactory and
Gen Gresham Immediately ordered sn inyesi
cation, which developed a discrepancy Of s45,-
600 Az o preliminary trial he was held IN s45,
600 bail His bondsmen are good for the am
cunt of smbezzlement The accounts Of Burn.
side were audited at the treasury department,
me postofice officials say the shortage should
have been discovered before
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

Bradstreets furnishes the following: There
we're las failures and suspensions in the
st.:.-l s.=t4s aasina the Last week in Nav,
against i&s IN the preceding week and 40, lO4,
and 81 respectively, About ~ per cent were
those OF small traders whose capital was less
than $4,000 Among the important stispen-
sions were; Reid n Smith, cotton commits.
SION, and Thomas J. Crumbie, lumber, New
lo@ city the Pennsylvania bank, Ptisburg,
Pa Glendower Iron company, Danville, Pa
Hot Springs, Ark, National bank; Stropg's
hrnk, Green Bay, Wis Crawford County
bank, Dennison, lows; Farmers and Mechan-
los National bank, UhrichsyiIIe. Ohio; q. Il,
Foster A Co wholesale millinery, Detroit
Mich, and Henry sheldon a Co. bankers.
sherman N \.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

Reports from eastern Ohio and western
Pennsylvania indicate severe damage to early
vegetables and fruits by the heavy frosts. In
some ~sectious ice formed q quar-
ter Of an inch thick Great damage
WAS done 10 crops in Canada The reports
that have come in from all parts OF Michigan
show that the damage from the frost wa,
quite serious, although il was still hoped the
art was exaggerated L eastern central and
southern Michigan the frost was severe, cut
ting down all small vegetables and badly rip
ping corn. ard even seeming 70 injnro wheai
scis.rwbat on the low lands In tho REGION Of
NE fruit belt but little damage was done
frost did grest damage all over New
s.sssiSni ssss E,ss-. Z, the strawberry e:s.rsSt
around Taunton .he crop, valued a. many
thousands Of dollars, il said to be quite ruined
In Northern New Hampshire several inches OF
SNOW fell Around Norwich ice q quarter Of an
inch thick formed, and all the crops that can
DC killed by cold, ruined In Vermont tender
crops which are allied, though corn is not adj
ysnced sufficiently TO be hurt much. Fruit Il
badly injured The loss 10 heavy. There
Was a heavy rnow-stom in the B~eighborhood
OF Buffalo.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

Mr.. RnsselI Sage, the great stock
Speculation Of New York, is paying dear
FER being On tiie wrong aide 81 the fence
hiring tho late panic. He has paid
~, 900 900 ana tile end il not vet.
These 9pns : tho uninitiated viii un.
derstaad are privileges he sold to Tom,
Dirk and Harry TO put certain stocks TO
him n certain prices. That i to say, he
as these buyers Of his privileges that
he conld out guess them as 10 the turn
Of the market. There was not a dollars
worth a genuine business in the &c, 0oo.-
900. II was the most gigantic gambling
ever done. perhaps, By any man in the
world, y is deeply to b. depIord that
the result does not wipe him out. Nor
should there be the slightest sympathy
for any Of the beiters il he should leave
them unpaid.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

Neat be yoar farms; Ills long confessed
The neatssi farmer IL the beet:
Each bog and march industrious drain
Nor let vile bake deform the plain,
Nor bushes nn your hca1land grow,
For briars q stevens culture show.
NeaSbe y0ur barns, your honses sweet;
Your paths be clean, your door-yards neat
No NOES the sheltering roof enshroud,
Nor wooden panes the windows cloud;
No sink drains should above ground FLOW,
Nor weeds with w~ranhling poison grow;
bat flowers expand. and fruit trees bloom,
Aud fragrant shrubs exhale perfume.
Ne4,lyencloss your garden round:
smooth, enrich and clear the ground;
For IL to taste and profit you incline,
Beauty and use yon always should combine
old Farmers Almanac
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1884-06-05

Assuming thnt the tariff win not be
disturbed By the present Congress,
either at this session . = the short one Of
pcxt winter and that seems to be rea.
sonabls csrtaln IL follows that the
present duties on imports aud the exist.
ing internal taxes win remain as thew
are until the Doth q June 1889, as the
Congress- which viii essae in next year
vii hardly make any changes to take
effect sooner than that. II nothing an.
~foreseeii shall occur, therefore, tointer.
fere with The application Or surplus nv
enne 70 the reduction Of the public
afht p fotsi amount Of 3-per-cent
Ronds nov outstanding viii ali be Paid
"a IN the next two gears.