Morning journal and courier., 1884-05-20
FERROUS.

The latest story is IA Perilous Secret" "
 Qna of tha characters fries tezse-esai some
 Little Jack-'Let's play we Is married. :"
 Little NelI-'No, won't. It aint right :"
 Little Jack-''Why ain't it?" Little Nell
 'Tause mamma said we mustn't quarrel. ."-
 Philadelphia Call.
 Lewiston, Me, man had been in prison ten years, and the first thing he did on being
 set free was to return borrowed umbrella. He was immediately sent to an insane asylum. Burlington Free Press. tired looking man applied for situation Tn powder factory. ''You know there is danger of being blown up at any timer" said the superintendent. q don't care" replied the mar; live been married six years. .''-
 Burlington Free Press. Merchant Traveller: |" Do you know the Jacksons?' asked lady of young man who lived in their neighborhood. No, I'm not of the family he replied; but I always speak to the dog at the front gate as I go past.
 "Yes," said Mrs. Snaggs, 1T left my hus- band at home to take care of the baby while went to the theater. He didn't gay any thing much when I came home except that never before looked so handsome to him, but found out the next day that our parrot had learned some horrible, horrible words" Some people have remarkable faculty of extricating themselves from peculiarly en- barrassing situations. An illustration ot this comes to mind. Some time ago gen. tleman at dinner was asked to carve 8 tur- key, but in doing so the bird was precipita- ted into the lap of young lady sitting at the gentleman's elbow, completely running her l dress. Instead, however, of creating com l motion the carver merely remarked: Miss -, may I trouble you for that turkey?' Boston Post.
 "How many of your parents, children, say grace?" asked Sunday school teacher. s'Please, mum, what's them?" asked an ever grown girl in 8 last years hat. Why, Mag gie'' exclaimed the teacher, 'sis 1t possible | you don't know what grace is? Doesn't your 1 father say something before you begin to | eat?'' 'tOh!" responded the girl, with glow of intelligence; ''yes. mum, he does; he al- ways says Don't make hogs of yourselves; that's all the butter there is in the house. "- Boston Transcript. Mir B-"Here is something in this paper that you ought to know" Mrs. B -"What is that?'' Nr. B "A recipe for getting rid of rats
 and mice It says that wild mint scattered about the house will soon clear them out" Mrs -'Mipt?' That is what you are l so ewfully fond of, isn't it?'' MT. Well, yes, l rather like mint. But wonder whyit clears out rats and mice?"
 Mrs. -"Probably when they smell the ! mint they conclude that the man of the house | is hard drinker, and that therefore the cup
 board is empty.''
 Mr. B. changed the subject. Philadelphia Call.
 little mound where daisies grow, sunny mead rippling stream That trills its music sweet and low As it gives back the tuns bright gleam. The nurmuring wind sighs mournfully In summ r's heat, in winters cold, The traveller closer draws his cloak As he wends homeward through the world. The thrustle sings 8 softer note, The wand'ring herds more gently roam, For here they buried Johnnies clothes Who brought that speckle1 kitten home. Boston Post.