The National tribune., 1884-10-02
TRIBUNETs.

James Bruce, cOlored coaehman, of New Briglt-
ton. o., evidently determined 10 discount the Je-
hus who have been fguring 50 prominently lately
IN eloPements, when he ran of with two girls
aged, respectively, Is and % years. Financially,
though, James did not make great hit, as he got
but s25 with his two sweethearts.
Andrew Mckay New York stonemason il.
probably, one OF the most obedient husbands in
the world. One evening last week Andrew did
not appreciate the tea set before him at supper and
complained to bis wife that it did not come up to
the usual standard, and when. ia answer 10 his
growls, she lovingly said. = Oh, go drown your
self. he tried to do by rushing out Of the house
and plunging into the dock near by. His efforts
at obedience, however, were foiled by eanal-boat
boy, who ished him out.
Puck: Never judge the political convictions Of
the poor man in The torchiight procession by the
banner he carries on his shoulder.
Harper's Weekly: ConduetOr-~ Here, can't
take this trade-dollar"
Passenger-.' Well. then, give il 10 theeonpany.s
Philadelphia caH: A green 5aczer-The fellow
who bets on the wrong horse.
Rochester Post Erpress- % Pa want to 90 ghaI-
ing" All right. my SON And in a few minutes
he was busy in the woodshed. with lots Of bIubber
Philadelphia CEroaice: Love levels ali ranks ex-
eept in the south. and there a man is either Ma
jor or Colonel just long a. he pays his liquor-
bills
Itisreported thattHe wives ofthe French Deputies
and Senator's urging their husbands t. use their
influence to bring about settlement with China,
for the weghty reason that a continuance Of the
trouble threatens 70 send up the price OF tea silk
and false hair. One Of the most importans Access
sories of the French female toilet IS the ehgnon,
and the importation Of hair forms an important
branch OF commerce. The amount imported in
1852 was nearly 10 $50 pounds it had risen to over
$4,000 pounds in 1883 BY far the larger propor-
ton Of it comes from the thiel<y -peopled Prov
+ inees Of the Celestial Empire
+ The Baltimore policemen are eagerly sought for
as eonversationalists, because the rules rgdy pro-
hibit talking politics.
NeW York suss: " A-are y-you a-an adrairer o-of
s-s-soIdierse asked West Point cadet OF q young,
miss with whom he waItziag. lie was short
/ Of breath and growing dizzy
"I-Id-donth-know," sherepHed. II n-uever
s-saw any"
/ louisville C0t4isr-,TotfrmGf
COachTan, eoaehman, when shah you marrys
Coaehnlan. eoaehuan, why do you tarrye
Why do / larry
BY the old Harry
There be so many it doth Iae eTsbarrass
Out Of the swarm to select the right heiress.''
By the way, didn't there use to be nan named
Tilden, living somewhere in New York;
SWEET FEMISINITY's FANCY.
From Puck.
Gone Is the day Of the coat of mail.
When into the tournament
{ Crowned with his lady's shinmering veil
The true knight boldly went.
And gone are the days when a uniform
And q bit Of the gold gold lace
Took the hEttered female heart By storm
With q glamour Of martial grace
And gone are the days when the smooth black
cloth
of the high church cuTate prim
Made the plain lay suitOr uEcommOnly wroth-
For she had no eyes for hiEs.
Alaek and alaell for the wooing o'tt
and alaek and alack for me,
For a eoaehman's hat and buttOned coat
Are Loves last livery. "A Fl. GASE5.