Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-06-29
Man Overheard.
Biu Nye IN Puck.


"Speaking about prohibition" said
Misery Brown one day while we sat lying
on the dump of the Blue Tail Fly, 81 am
prone to allow that the more you prohibit,
the more yOu-all at Once-discOyer that
you have more or less failed to prohibit.
Now, you can win man over to your
way of thinking sometimes, but you
mustn't do it with the but-end Of tele-
graph pole. You might convert him that
way, perhaps, but the mental shock and
chronological conclusion of the argument
might be disas trOus to the convert him.
self.
IA man once SAID to me that rum was
the DEVILS drink; that Satan's home was
filed with the odOr of hot rum; that perdi-
ton was soaked with spiced rum and rum
punch. 'You wot not.' said he, 'the ruin
rum has rot. Why, Misery Brown said
he, rum is my bette noir,' / said didn't
care what he used it tor; he'd always
find it very warming to the system. l
told him he could use it for hot bette noir,
or a blance mango, OF any of those fancy
drinks; didn't care.
"But the worst time l ever had Crap
ping with the great enemy, rickon, was
in the later years of the war, when | pref
ty near squashed the Confederacy. Grim
visaged war had worn me down pretty
well. PLAYED the big tuba in the regi-
mental band, and began to sigh for
peace.
1--WE had been on the march all sum-
mer, it seemed to me. We'd travel through
dust ankle deep all day tina twas just like
ashes, and halt in the red-hot sun five
minutes to make coffee. We'd make our
coffee in five minutes. and sometimes we'd
make it in the middle Of the road; but
that's neither here nor there.
1--WE finally found out that we would
make a stand in a certain town and that
u. n 4 f.1,V. lie Of nm roll
bic whisky in store. We also found out
that we couldn't get any for medical pur-
poses nor anything else. All we could do
was to suffer ON and wait till the war
closed. didn't feel like postponing the
thing myself, so l began to investigate.
The great foe of humanity was stored in
a tobacco house and the Q. NJ. slept three
nights between the barrels. The chances
for debauch looked peaked and slim in
the extreme. However, there was base
ment below, and got in there one night
with half-inch auger and two wash
tubs. Later on there was sound Of
revelry by night. There was cOnsidera-
bic ION with the dance, let joy be uncon-
fined.'
'The next day there was spongy APP
pearance on the top of the head, which
seemed to be confined to our regiment, as
a result of the sudden giving way, as it
were, of prohibitory restrictions. 1t was
a very disagreeable day, | remember. All
nature seemed clothed in gloom, and r.
+. Morse, j. ID. O., seemed to be in charge
of the proceedings. Red-eyed Regret was
everywhere.
''We then proceeded to yearn for the
other barrel Of woe, that we might pile
up some more regret, and have enough
misery to last us through the balance of
the campaign. We acted on this sugges-
ton, and, with a firm resolve and the
same half-inch auger, we stole once more
into the basement Of the tobacco house.
81 bored nineteen consecutive holes into
the atmosphere, and then an intimate
friend of mine bored twenty-seven distinct
holes in the floor only to bore through the
bosom Of the night with a dull thud.
Eleven of us spent the most of the night
boring into the floor, and at 3 O'Clock a.
m. it looked like q hammock, it was so
full of holes. The Quartermaster slept on
through it all. He slept in very audible
tone of voice, and every now and then we
could hear him slumberingOn
sat last we decided that he was Sleep
ing middling close to that barrel, so we
began to bore closer to the snore. 1t was
my turn to bore, l remember, and took
the auger with a heavy heart. / bored
through the floor, and for the first time
bored into something besides oxygen. 1t
was the QuarteTmaster. wild yell
echoed through the Southern Confederacy,
and pulled out my auger. 1t had on
the point a strawberry mark and frag-
ment Of one Of those old-fashloned woven
wire gray shirts, such as QuaTtermasters
used to wear.
q remember that we then left the to-
bacco house. In the hurry we forgot two
wash-tubs, half-inch auger and 980,361
new half-inch auger holes that had never
been used