davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-01
CHAPTER III.
Love flies out at the window
I,,,, ,~1-o,-,x ,.N,pa., IA, %. 4ta IHor

When poverty comes in at the door.
Seated in fashionable restaurant,
at one of the many round tables, were
two young men.
well, Algernon, what shall you or
der?o exclaimed the taller and more
slender of the two, hopping the per-
SEPARATION from his broad, white fore
head.
Champagne, 1 think, in the line Of
drink"
well, I guess I'll have lemonade.
It's deuced hot, and that will quench
the thirst more, to my notion, than the
best of wine. Whew How uncomfort-
able feel!"
And Algernon Sydney leaned back
in his chair, and certainly did look
warm.
"Any news up your way, Gordon? ?"
"WeH. no; not special. / was down
last evening""
"Indeedl / think I may guess
where, without any trouble. believe
you're rather sweet in that quarter; and
depend upon it, she's treasure.
Eyes, if that meddlesomo old woman
was not in the way. BY George, she's
q tartar!"
I'm not much acquainted with the
aunt, but know the young ladies we'll.
In fact, Lyle, if you desire to know, L
think more of one of them than is re-
ally good for me, for it is not re-
turned"
Il presume that must be Miss Marion
Grey. Well, she is q nice kind of a
girl, but is actually dowerless.
Sydney allowed him to believe as he
would, and said:
"That,should make no difference to
me. 1t is the girl / want, not her
money!"
"Yes, because you are we'll enough
situated to support yourself without it.
But if you was poor dog like myself,
for instance, you would be as anxious
as am, wot, to marry an heiressl"
well, why don't you propose 70 an
heiress, then, instead of fine poor girl
whom you have selccted?" queried
Algernon Sydney, contemptuorsly.
"What do you take me for, Lyle? Dc
you not know that Hettie Ryder is the
prospective heir TO all of her aunt's vast
possessions Hettie has more than
once, unsuspectingly, told me as much
else would L have given her up long
ago, to one more worthy of her thar J, ;
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-01

ny LOUISE CHANDLER mouIToS

Oh, Life. my Lifel It's many year since we
Took hsnds together. and came through the
mem,
When hou nn Day and were newly born
And iair the future looked, and glad and Tree.
year rs Gong a. whOleeternity,
And full of roses with no SINGING thorn,
And iull OF Joys that could not bc outworn:
And time was measureess for thee and me.
Long have we Jared together thou and I:
Thou hast grown dcarer, IA cid friends must
grow.
Small " nicr IL / dread 10 say good-by
When our dong pact is over and 90
To enter strange. new worlds beS ond the sky
With Death. thy rival, To whom none saith
"No-
--HdYpel's Magazine
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-01

"IT looks as if another short-hair
frenzy was going to strike the ladies, I"
says New York letter.writer in
the Chicago Tribune. "A good many
in their teens now consider it the thing
to cut off their hair and wear it curled
close to their scalps, and yesterday l
saw row of bonnets in n millincr's
window, each decorated with a little
ruff of frizzed hair sewcd under their
rims at the back"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-01

1 LIKE to read about Moses best, in
the Old Testament. He carried hard
business we'll through, and died when
other folks were going to reap the
fruits; man must have courage to
look at his life SO, and think what'll
come of it after he's dead and gone. A
good, solid bit o. work lasts; if it's only
laying floor down. somebody's the
better for it's being done well, besides
the man as does it.-George Eliot.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-01

In letter to Woods and Forests
Nondon), an "Old Forester" testifies
to the wonderful efficacy of creosote
oil in preserving wood. 1t effectually
prevents all growth of fungus, etc.
The timber must be thoroughly dry
before being creosoted.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-01

The japanese Premier, Prince Kung,
addressed Gen. Grant, when he was in
japan, in English, so called. Endeav-
oring to compliment him by assuring
him that he WAS born TO command, lie
said: Sire. brave Generate, You vas
made to ORDER
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-05-01
SECRET SORROW.

SECRET SORROW.
Why does he wear it?
Emblem of woe!
For whom does he bear It?
Is some one laid low?
Say, was it a mother
That crossed the deep sea?
His mother that nursed him
In youth on her knee?
Or was IL a father
Decrepit and old2
Or a goldon-haired rosebud
He laid In the mold2
Perhaps twas a brotherl
In boyhood, may be.
They frolicked together,
His brother and he.
Or was it his partner
Who fell by his side?
Now none to console him,
No heart to contide.
Say, why does he wear
The black band, O, for what2
He wears Ii to cover
The grease ON his hat.
as SjtttRgs.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15

yond his kind. He drew the owner OF
the COW aside and whispered in his ear !:
"Twist her tail" The Jerseyman shook
his head. Then, as though bidding for
the support of the multitude, the long
shoreman raised his arm and making
sweeping gesture, exclaimed:
"Gcnts, l says twist her tail"
"Twist it yersel, >" was the answer.
A glance of scorn upon the crowd,
and the 'longshoreman barred his brawny
arm and stepped up to the COW. He
took the love-lock in his hand ran his
fingers through it and clinched them,
graspcd the middle of the tail with his
left hand, and tried to tic knot An
agoniling silence. which was broken by
a gronn and dotted with broad -brimmel
hat, a pair of suspenders, and the arms
and legs of 'longshoreman doing calls
themes in the frosty air. The battered
remains of the 'longshoreman were car
ricd away muttering blasphemy. The
COW after she had replaced her hind hoofs
on the ground was led on to the ferry by
the Jerseyman, who observed as he paid
his fare:
"Takes more'n Yorker to learn me
lessons. '-N6D YORK. Tribune.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15

We take from an article in the P0pUl0r
Science Monthly, entitled blouse build
ing in the East" the following: The first
thing the would-be house builder has to
do is to find out the situation of the
great dragon that encircles the earth with
his body, like the Midgard serpent of
northern mythology. This must be as
certained before operations are begun at
all, for It will have a great influence, not
only on the time of beginning the build
ing, but on the way in which the foun-
dations must be dug and the method of
hosting the posts into position. This
the Burmese have recorded for them in
rhyme which every school-boy can re-
peat. The Siamese are not less alive to
the necessity of accurate information on
the subject, and it is fully set out in the
"Tamra." The reason of this is that
when you come to dig the whole for the
main post of the house you must heap
uD the earth on the side toward the Ma
gah's belly. Terrible consequences fol-
low if you do not observe this prclimi-
nary precaution. If you should pile up
your mound in the direction of the head
of the dragon, your negligence or igno-
parents your brothers, and the patrons
of your house. To be without patron
in Siam or Cambodia is to get your name
put down on the list of royal slaves In
sulting the dragons tail is even more ca
lanitous, for the tail is most tOuchv
member, and would as soon create an
earthquake and ruin the whole township
as not. The reckless builder who did
such thing would, therefore, be stoned
out of the community as Il public enemy.
Touching the dragons back is simple
lese-majeste. The lord Of the house will
soon find out his crime, but the knowl-
edge will come too late. He will die.
The belly is the only safe part. If you
choose that quarter toward which to heap
up your earth, then, subject to n number
OF Interpretation to be mentioned you
are comparatively safe.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
Origin of the Circus Safety.Net.'

The following extract from Marcus
of Rome, in st. Nicholas, is interesting
not only as an evidence of the nobility
of character which afterward served to
make the Emperor Marcus Aurelius one
of the greatest of Rome S imperial rulers,
but as showing the early origin of a
safeguard that no doubt has been gener-
ally regarded as an outcome of modern
humanity. The scene described took
place A. ID. 13S at performance in the
Circus MaXimus:
Among the throng of ''artists" on that
far-otf March day, there came bright
little fellow of ten or eleven years, a
rope-dancer and a favorite with the
crowd. Light and agile, he trips along
the slender rope that stretches high
above the arena. Right before the magis-
trate's box the boy poises in mid air,
and even the thoughtful young director
of the games looks up at the graceful
motions of the boy. Hark warming
shout goes up; then another; the poor
little rope-dancer, anxious to find favor in
the eyes of the young noble. over-exerts
himself, loses his balance on the dizzy
rope and, topping over, falls with a
NibNi tiiuN w iiS Slouhu anu llCo
there before the great state box with a
broken neck-dead. Marcus hears the
shout, he sees the falling boy. Vault
ing from his canopied box he leaps
down into the arena and so tender Is he
of others, Stole though he be, that he
has the poor rope-dancers head in his
lap even before the attendants can reach
him. But no life remains in that bruised
little body, and, as Marcus tcnderly re-
signs the dead gymnast to the less sym
pathetic slaves, he commands that ever
after bed shall be laid beneath the rope
as a protection against such fatal falls
This became the rule; and, when next
you see the safetynet spread beneath the
ropewalkers, the trapeze performers,
and those who perform similar " terrific -
feats, remember that its use dates back
to the humane order of Marcus, the boy
magistrate, seventeen centuries ago.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15

Old Doctor Thompson, noted physi-
clan of indianapolis, gained his reputa-
ton by a 'lucky hit with case the
Rev. Henry Ward Beecher gave him.
One night Scotchman, laboring under
intense excitement, called on Mr. Beecher
and exclaimed: "Cume wi me quick.
meow. guide PEARSON. VI woomaun's moo
LANCER ia this wourld-an'-an" Mr.
Beecher did not wait to hear the Scotch
man out, but seized his hat and cloak
and was soon at the bedside of the diving
woman. He then rushed out and brought
Doctor Thompson to manage the case,
and within a month the patient was Il
well woman.
But during her sickness a ludicrous
little incident occurred that made the
actors in these events laugh heartily
All the good neighbors volunteered to
sit up with the sick woman. One night
one Of the Scotch laddics uttered fright
full wall and rolling and kicking
upon the bare floor, complained
bitterly and pitifully of the stomach
ache. The old Scotch father, in droll
accents and laundering tones, shouted
"Aleck! Alick! Cum an pit het plat
an Jamies stoumach." As soon as jamie
was quoted, another of the numerous
laddies was afflicted similarly. The
Scotchman again called out, only louder
than before "Aleck, get anither het
plat and pit t an Tamie's stoumach y
The complaint now seemed to become
epidemic, and the old Scotchman was
soon telling Aleck to pit a het plat on
Jeannette's stoumach,n This done, and
Aleck himself fell victim to this acute
trouble, and after him all his "brithers'
were also crying for ''het paits.n The
old Scotchman, who was now heating
plates and applying them as fast as he
could, soon exhausted his stock, and
was compelled to run to the neighbors for
new supply. The ailment was at last
put under control, and the Scotchman.
removing the plates from those little
aching stomachs, was about to return
them, when the neighbors, overlooking
with generosity, told him to keep the
plates for another emergency. They
didn't need them any more after that. :
Midland Monthly.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
A SLIM CHANCE.

Don't you believe that marriages are
made in Heaven" asked Mr.. Yeast of
Miss Prim the other day.
g most certainly do, " replied tho lady
of uncertain age, Frightening up at the
very suggestion of a proposal and throw
ing her head on one side in her endeavor
to look coquettish; 'but why do you
ask ~
We'll, 1 thought you did" was the
young mans satisfied reply.
/" But why did you think did r. per-
sisted the antiquated maiden, almost
swallowing her overskirt in her attempts
to appear captivating.
Well" responded the heartless
young man, lighting cigarette, and
getting at a respectable distance from his
antagonist: (" it doesn't look as though
there vas much chance of your being
married before you reached there
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
How n Diver Sees.

1t depends upon the water about see
ing. Ordinarily you have light enough
at forty feet to see your way about, and
in Southern waters you can see well
sixty or seventy feet; everything being
as clear as possible. But they have the
electric light now, so a diver can take it
down to almost any distance from the
surface. In building the Mississippi
bridge we used candles in the cylinders,
and under pressure of 100 feet they
would burn down about three times as
fast as they would ashore, and at eighty
feet, when you blew the candle on. il
would light right up again. The expert
ment was tried at 10S feet and thirteen
times the candle was blown out, relightina
itself Immediately; so you see pressure i:
a curious sort of thing. Cincinnati En-
quirer.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
ALL GOING TOGETHER.

Little Nell-Oh. I have such good
news. Mamma and papa and l are all
going to another city to live.
Nisitor-Indeed You amaze me-
What city is it,
Little Nell-It has such funny name.
1t is called Harry, and it is an awful old
city
Nisitor-Oh! I guess you heard the
name wrong.
Little Nell-Oh no, didn't. 1t was
at the breakfast-table. Papa told mamma
to 90 to the old Harry, and mamma told
papa to go there himself, and then l
asked them to take me, and they didn't
say anything, but | know they will
PhNadeLphia CaN
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
TWISTING A cows TAIL.

1t was "A COW, with mild brown ewes.
auburn bangs, and u tail with a loose
lock on the end, that switched the air
and knocked imaginary flies into the
hereafter with snap. She was being
led down West street toward the Cort-
land street ferry by Notwithstanding
Jerseyman, whose complexion, owing to
the cold weather and hot whisky, was
red as a meteorc sunset. Suddenly.
with what was apparently unnecessary
cruelty, the Jerseyman struck the cow
across the flank with a club, swung his
arms over his head, danced a maddening
doube-shuflle in the street, and sat down
with strange rapidity upon a car-rail.
The cow looked over her shoulder re-
provingly, and stood in her tracks, The
Jerseyman arose from the impression he
had male upon the ice, smoothed his
coat-tails caressingly, and started toward
the COW. He raped her once, spat
on his hands, raped her twice, put his
shoulder against her side-all to move
her out of the track of the drays-
but to no avail. A crowd assembled. The
Jerseyman got lots of sympathy but no
assistance. One man suggested that
she had frozen fast; another that she
was undecided about the policy of the
board of aldermen. The owner went a
few yards ahead, grinned CHASTITY grin,
and shaking his club behind him in a
suppressed fury pleaded in persuasive
tones, Come, Mooly-Mooly." But
Moody saw the club.
At last from the crowd stepped laDk
and unshaven specimen of 'longshore-
man. He was gifted with wisdom be-
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

A powder horn The fashionable Young
ladys nose.
\ slippery day-When the boy is get
ting spanked.
A receiving teller-The hostess at a
sewing society meeting.
When the poet says, "Soft be thy
slumbers," he means that the young lady
shall not snore hard.
"All signs fail in wet weather" In
windy weather also signs sometimes fail
to stay in their proper places. ---Hoosier.
A girl is sweet.
But oh now bitter
The same girl is
When dress don't fit her
"You can't bully me, said one gentle.
man to another, on the street the other
day. "Gou can't COW me. " said gentle.
man No. ? to gentleman No. 1.
Denis Kearney is fighting the arts
tocracy in a fashion more deadly than
making speeches. He is selling pies at
a San Francisco health resort.
"Got on your husbands cravat.
haven't you2" asked a neighbor of Mrs.
Bilkins. Yes, " replied Mrs b., sadly.
ut is the only tie there is between us
now
What is called railroad tatter" has
been invented, designed to tell the speed
of trains If attached to horse car it
would probably be all worn out on one
trip. Boston GloJe.
An indianapolis youth is said to have
written a thrilling story bearing the odd
title: Down, | say 1t is probably an
autobiography of his dim, eventful mus
tache. Bismarck Tribune.
Rev Mr.. Beecher says: ''Pick out the
worst, the meanest, the dirtiest rascal of
the crowd-bad as he is, there is within
him pearl" Perhaps So but it is safe
to bet there is more beer than pearl in
him. -Norristo,ch HGuld.
y little boy was asked by his mother
to go to the store and get some eggs,
lie went, and on his return he dropped
them. His mother asked him if he had
broken any of them. He replied: mo,
but the shells came off of some
"You don't seem to be dancing any
this winter" remarked young lie Dude
to his friend Slim. "Oh but you're mis-
taken, you know. go to three balls
every week" 'Indeed, And where ~
cat the pawnbroker's. "-The Judge.
This is boys composition on girls
"Girls are the only folks that always has
their own way. Girls is of several thou
sand kinds, and sometimes one girl can
be like several thousand girls if she
wants to do anything. This is ali know
about girls, and my father says the less
| know about them the better
''Do l believe in love at first sight2'
said the Widow Monigirl ''of course
do. You saw how that Darlington fell
low hung around me the other evening
That was case of love at first sight.
Indeed, he told me so; but the first sight,
l suspect, referred to my bank account
rather than to myself. "-Boston Tran.
script.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
other side. could brain bulldog

other side. I could brain bulldog
with the key.
Not one room in fifty in the city has a
stove or fire place, though the nights now
are quito COOL and genuine old fashioned
Hoosier comfort is not to be had in the
winter. The upper part of my door has
little swing.door, covering a heavy iron
grating, and, to save my soul, cannot
shake off the impression that L am writ
ing in Jail, though l am conscious of
having committed no crime, unless it be
the writing of some unpleasant truth.
All this shows what kind of a commune
ty this has once bccn-a community of
very unquestionable characters. They
say there has been great improvement
lately. | hope so.
On so short a stay should speak mod
estly; but one thing is plain to me: Mex
leo needs several more revolutions. This
present calm is deceitful. | cannot be-
lieve it will last. What Mexico needs
above all things is one vast convulsive So
cial upheaval-a sweeping revolution like
that which convulsed France, burying
all the traditions of the past in one awful
gulf which separates Bourbon from Re-
publican as completely as though thou
sand years had interviewed. The rich here
are too rich; the poor too miserably poor.
The revolution must break up these enor-
nous landed estates, must grind down
these immense private fortunes, must
abolish caste and indirect taxation it
must do away with debt peonage and up
heave the social system from the founda-
ton. In short, it must grind up all this
ill-assorted human material into one mass
of equal particles, with an even start,
out of which may come the new develop
ment and perhaps a new hope.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
He Got Up.

Mamma Cat the foot of the stairs)-
"Johnnie, it's time to get up. Breakfast
is nearly ready"
Johnnic-''M-yes-' M
Big Sister Cat the foot of the stairs)-
"Johnnie, get up at once; breakfast is
on the table"
Johnnie-"M-ya'as.n
Old Gentleman (at the foot of the
stairs-"John"
Johnnie Yes, sir" - Phtadelphia
Call.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT,
HUMOROUS STORIES THAT WILL
RAISE SMILE.

All Going TOgethcr-A Slim chance
Curative Powers of Hot Plates
Twisting n Cows Tail.
THE MAN WHO WAS LEFT.
Ten maidens there were,
Each one as fair
As the other nine
Ten stars as bright,
In lovely light
Each other did outshne
A tender swain,
With puzzled brain,
Lifts up his wailing voice;
And in despair
He tears his hair
That he cant make choice.
"Wail notr' they cried;
''Nor woe betide:
But rather do rejoice
That other ten
Much better men
Than you have made choice"
Wa J. hampton.
The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-15
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IL
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