The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-08-27
HUMOR OF THE DE
nod thing-A boy in chuse1s

n uOu IlllilS n DON III CUGSeAo
A game name for a petulant wife-Ia-
cross.
A dissipated man is apt to be dizzy
pated, also.
The duty of the hour is the tariff on
s-,2sss watches. .-HdUkeye.
Gross earnings The wages made by
museum fat woman. Phiiadelphia Call.
What the sewing machine said when it
skipped the stitch-Sew long l-TM
Judge.
An enthusiast speaks of the religion OF
the beautiful flowers. Buddhism, prob
ably.-BoSton Courier
Baseball is taking the place of bull
fighting in Cuba. Thus does civiliza-
ton advance, step by step. Hartford
SoSt
"Hard lines" muttered the tramp,
when he tried to cut a clothes-rope and
found it was made of wire. .-Nelc York
Journal
A Burlington girl has a diary devoted
entirely to noting down the visits of
her beauX. She calls it her court docket.
Free Press.
A h otel in the shape of an elephant has
been built at Coney Island. The bag
gage Of the guests will be kept in the
trunk. BurtjRgtOR free Press.
How doth the frisky little bug
Delight to crawl and bite,
And make your limbs picnic ground,
Each blessed summer night
Fail RiUer AdUdnce.
An exchange says: "Great excitement
prevails in Clackamus county, Ore, over
the reported discovery of a veritable wild
weman." We suppose the woman across
the street has better looking bonnet
Boston Post.
Miss Rose Eytinge says; Journalism
and the theatrical profession are united
by some very slender ties" One of
which, most fragrant Rose, is adver- tise.
There Is nothing like it, we assure you.
--LOuis0iUe Post.
There is young pianist in Boston who
shuts his eyes while playing. There are
lots of old warblers in every city who
would gain many new admirers if they
would shut their mouths while singing.
-NeW York J0ulUaI.
The man who owes a tailor's bill
He can't afford to pay
Must be possessed of iron win
Upon suluy day;
For when he fears, despite of pride,
His tailor he might meet,
He sllulks along the sunny side,
OF every crowded street.
-Nel0 York Journal.
A Frenchman in New York makes
dimples in the faces of all who can af-
ford that luxury. AS he has advertised
for steam drill it is safe to presume
that he has a commercial traveller for
customer. Boston Courier.
A current item says that ''the plains
of Texas cover an area of 1852, 600 acres,
on which feed $500, 600 head of cattle"
The item docs not state where the tails Of
the cattle are, but whoever heard of
the tails feeding anywhere. - Te1as
SytiRgs.
RULES OF COURTsHIP.
The manly youth who would maiden WOO
WIN profit If he keeps these rules in view;
BE not precipitate nor yet too slow,
BE not ashamed at a rebuff or so.
II she is unreSponsiye, distant, cold,
The wooer should be delicately bold,
Ii she is timid, ditiident aud shy,
Don't fret, she'll find more courage by-and-by
Let not her first refusal give distresSs
A woman'a no is often meant for yes.
-SOHler0iAe journal.
A tramp stopped at house on Main
street the other day and asked for some
thing to eat. (which do you like best"
asked the hired girl, 'steak or chop"
The tramp meditated a minute, and then
replied Chop 'alep right this
way" said the hired girl Here's the
AK and there's the wood pile "-B9Ling-
ton B3ee Press
HE PEELS.
The small boy stands
Beside the pool
And with his hands
The water cool
He feels.
He fingers not,
Nor time does waste
The Weather's hot,
And with great haste