Connecticut western news., 1884-01-30
WIT AND WISDOM.

IF REASON justly eontradlets nn artlcle it is not of the household of faith.
 You must not stay in bed until nine o'clock in the morning upon the excuse that it's sleep year.
 TIE intoxication of anger, like that of the grape, shows us to others, but hides us from ourselves.
 FAITH aflirms many things respecting which the senses are silent, but nothing that they can deny.
 A SATISFIED man has nothing to desire, gain or content. He is n mold-grown carp in Southern waters.
 THE reconciliation of death is the pre- meditation of liberty; he who has learned to die has forgot to serve.
 IT was a Detroit girl that married at 15 so as to have her golden wedding when it would do her some good.
 "THERE's nothing like leather" but the bottom crust of the railroad restau- rant pie resembles it somewhat. Sunbeam.
 TEN hours is considered full days work, and yet some young men act as if girl could be courted sixteen hours without being tired.
 ONE of the Harvard students has fitted up his room at cost of S4,000. We suspect that the young mans room is better thanh company.
 DoN'r think, young man, that just because it is leap year you are going to be snapped up right away. The girls want chance before they leap.
 LEARN a trade, young man; learn a trade. Then in after life should you happen out os business you eau trade horses. .-Rentucky State Journal.
 Coop manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we con- verse. Whoever makes the lowest per sons uneasy is the best bred in the com. pany.
 A MANS brain weighs three and half pounds. A woman's is somewhat lighter, but of finer quality. That is what en- ables her to taste lard in her neighbours pastry.
 TIE House of Representatives was charged last year with 450 spittoons for 293 members. This indicates a reckless waste of tobacco which can no longer be tolerated.
 HENRY JAMES says Turgenieif "used to blush like boy of sixteen" Indeed We would iko to see an American boy of sixteen blush, just once. It would be worth travelling far to see. A JERSEY CrTY man has asked for a divorce because a moustache is sprout' ing on his wife's lip. As rule it makes a man mad to have any moustache on his wife's lip but his own.
 A SMALL boy, who stood gazing wist. fully at large candy man in a city con- fectioner's window, suddenly exclaimed' ''I could lick that fellow with both hands tied behind my back"
 HENRY WILLARD in an evil moment gave up being newspaper reporter and went into railroads, and failed for S4 ,000, 900. No reporter would ever fail for S4, 900, ,00O.-Phi,adellohia Call.
 A YOUNG lady who was fond of singing the song beginning "I am saddest when I sing" was disgusted when the neigh bors, who had got tired of the doleful ditty, struck in, "So are we, so are we. '
 "YEs," said Philadelphia woman, "my husband could afford to buy me a sealslkin dolman, but won't wear one. | I can't bear the smell of fish, and as seals live in the sea they must smell fishy."
 IF you talk about your neighbors it ia very much like blowing into dust heap and filling your eyes with dirt. If you try to keep honest yoN will be too busy to know whether any one else is honest or not.
 A CHICAGO man shot at his wife, but her corsets caused the ball to glance and saved her life. And yet men whose names are enrolled high upon the scroll of fame assert that corsets are injurious to the health.
 A MAGAZINE writer asks: "How shall we utilize the Indians ?" This is a diff. cult question to answer, but perhaps the best plan would be to petrify them, and sell them for cigar-store signs. This idea is worthy of consideration, anyhow.
 A COUNTRY weekly paper says "During 1883 we reduced our debt sI10, ,000, 900, and we now owe only s1 ,690, GOO, ,000." This gives one very clever idea of the capital required to conduct the business of n country weekly.
 TIE Eastern railroad having invented an arrangement for keeping cars warm so that potatoes may be carried in the winter without freezing, a suffering traveller wants to know if passengers cannot be put on par with potatoes and be kept from freezing while in transit.
 A COUPLE of vassar girls were found by a professor fencing with broomstcks in gymnasium. He reminded the young girls that such an accomplish. ment would not aid them in securing husbands. "It will help us to keep them in, replied one of the girls.
 EMILY FAITHFuIb, tho English phi lanthropist, says she is satisfied that