Morning journal and courier., 1884-07-01
SALT.

An anxious inquirer asks ''Where is the best place for salt water bathing" ?" In the salt water, dear friend.-Boston Post. ''How do you like the new minister" "I don't like him at all," replied the deacon s.Is it possible? Why I thought he preached very eloquent sermon. Ihat's the tuouble, it was too eloquent. I couldn't catch wink of sleep through tn. whole of it"-Phiadelphia Evening Call.
 "Do you call this a fresh egg, madam" he asked, as he turaed from his plete to the landla2y.
 ''sirl'' she said in voice meant to para l, ze him clear through, 'I am no hen and do not know I am simply 8 poor, over worked landlady who run $14 behind expenses last month "-Detroit Free Press.
 Mrs. A. to Mrs. B-'"That Mrs. Newcomer is so fond of her children. The other day when called she was blowing soap-bubbles with them through 8 common clay pipe"
 Mrs. B. to Mrs. C.-"That Mrs. Newcomer is so fanny Mrs A, saw ",an her 1sa amusing the
 Mrs c. to Mrs. D.-'That Mrs Newcomer smokes a common clay pipe" Mrs. D. to Mrs. -" That Mrs. Newcomer smokes horrid pipe. I don't see how any woman in her sober senses could do that"
 Mrs. E. to Mrs F.-'That Mrs. Newcomer smokes a pipe and drinks awfully. y."-Phila- dslphia Call.
  married?' asked Mrs Smith of her husband "Did he never receive leap-year proposal?'
 ''Oh, yes !" said Mir. Smith. "Mr. Illden has received numerous proposals"
 sI wonder why he never accepted any Of them, then?'
 .sBecauss my dear,' said MT. Smith cool ly, ''they never could understand his letters All of his love letters were just like his last letter of declination."
 'sHow is that, John2"
 "Why, they couldn't tell from the wording of the letter whether he meant to accept or whether he was giving recipe to make soap. Paris (Ky.) Beacon.
 AS they were leaning over the gate he whispered to her that their married life would be one long honeymoon. He hoped to die if he would ever do or say anything to cause her one moments unhappiness. '.We'll live in a cottage?' she asked .'Yes - With lawn in front?" 'FYes, a nice lawn '" "And we'll play croquet2' ''Y-e~s." And you'll let me beat you every timer" He was silent. His breast heaved and he clutched the gate with iron grasp. "Go hencs-yoa do not love mel" she screamed at him. 'I know you'd move your ball and lie about going through the arches! Good night forever!" He looked after her until the front door slammed, and then he turned away with the remark, 'It was 8 marrow es- cape for me. Thank heaven that the tie is brokenl"-Detroit Free Press. A tolf-gate was recently established on a road leading to Little Rock, and an old negro who came along with an OK team was much astonished when informed that he must pay. Wall, eff dis doan cap de climax said he. s-Ain' satisfied wid chargin' folks fur ridln on de train an steamboat, but wanster charge him fur riding in his own wagin." That is the law of the corporation, old man " ''what's de cooperation got ter do wid my vaRin?" ''Got nothing to do with your wag on. but they have right to make you pay for riding over their road,' 'Ain' dis CT | free country?'' ''Yes, but this is not free | road" "But de roads in the country Whut does yer law say yer may charger" s'For one horse, 5 cents; for 8 horse and a
 buggy, 10 cents; and for two horses and wagon, 20 cents" ''Well dose heah aint | bosses, ease da's steers. De law don't say nuthin' about dem. Whoa-har, come ere" | and to the great astonishment of the gate keeper, the old fellow drove away.-Arkan- | saw Traveller.