Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1884-11-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY,

An old Observation-Disclosures clock
Boston Post.
Well-matched pair-A horsey man
and a nagging wife.-LVe.
The Vassar girls do not swear. They
only say buy gum. ."-BasOo.
Mr. Bergh has warned the riaemen
that they will not be permitted to hit
the bulls eyc.-Jingo.
We are asked when a young lady is of
age and we unhesitatingly reply, not until
she is married. .-NercIant- Tcare'er.
'What did you kill2" inquired pc
destrain of a sportsman on horseback.
Time" was the sentcntous response
Hatchet.
Why is a cornet-player like signal.
service storm observer2 One blows the
notes, and the other notes the 'blows."
lingo.
1t would seem but reasonable that
equal partners in q wool-growing enter
prise should "shear and shear alike
ChjcagO San.
A Wyoming man named James Agon,
was recently married. A few weeks
later he petitioned the court to add ''y"
to his last name Graphic.
"Did you ever kiss q pair of pouting
lips?" asks an exchange. No; but we
have received pout from pair of kiss
ing hps.-Boston Transcript.
There is female band in Baltimore.
The proper band for female to belong
to is a husband. She can usually play
him for all he is worth.-Hatchst. ,,,,,,,
that it is time to put their cattle under
cover. Ye, who have steers to shed, pre-
pare to shed them now.-Neso York
Journal.
1t was an employer who kept his men
at work from daylight till after dark, OF
whom it was originally said that thine
hangs heavily on his hands. "-Bost0n
Transcript
Sitting Bull cleared $50, 900 by cxhib-
iting himself in New York, and has
doubtless learned that it is better to
bleed the white man than to kill him.
oil City Blizzard.
"NIr Smith, do you dye your hair9"
asked the small boy. 'No; why did
YOU think so2" ooh, dunno, only it's
black, and sister said she reckoned you
was light headed. Boston Post.
Ouida says: ga girls love must never
be begged, but conquered" That's all
very well, but how to subdue thu thick
soled parent of the period, is what's
bothering our young men just now.-San
FranciSc0 Post.
81 don't know about your religious
novels" said Deacon Brownsmith; ''the
Bible is good enough for me-" eyes,
replied Brother Broad, "but are you
good enough for the Bible, deacons"-
Boston Transcript
1t is pretty healthy man who can
read patent medicine almanac without
suddenly discovering that he is afflicted
with about one hundred and fifty of the
two hundred diseases described therein.
-N0rrjstoaon Herald.
Western girls seem to have as keen an
eve to the main chance as their Eastern
sisters. A prairie pansy, summering at
Waukesha, was asked by Texa snn-
flower if she would share his lot, and the
pat reply was: "Yes-if it is corner
one, and you will build on it."-LOuis-
giUe Times.
"Oh, Lucy, if you knew the depth oi
my devotion! Lucy, if you do not re-
turn my love l will kill myself" "Bless
you, Augustus, l will return your love-"
'Oh, will you, will you9 Then am hap
by beyond" "Yes, Augustus, l will
return it. I have no use for it. y CHI
cage Ne,os.
Doesn't that man remind you of the
sea9" said a pretty girl on Fourth street
to her companion, as a very fashionable
masher went by ~ don't know. How
do you mean2" "Oh, because he is such
a heavy swell" eyes, DEAR" was the
quiet response, "but you know the sea
swell is salt. .-Merchant- 1rdUeler.