The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-03-08
A Boston Dude in Texas.
Chicago News.

news.
"Talk about yer doods," said a
Texas stOckman, on the Chicago.
Burlington & Quincy train last night.
"but a leetle the doodest dood ever
seen wuz a feller that come from Bos
ton into our kentry year ago las
September"
"He didn't stay in Texas long, !
guess" said a little man in asilk hat.
"Yes, he's there now"
81 thought they wouldn't let a dude
live in Texas"
"Wall. I'll tell you how it was we
come to let him stay. He come down
there with his peeked boots an his
tight trousers an yaller kid gloves. a.
slingin' more style than new con-
gresham on the fo'th of July, and
a-tellin' folks that his doctor said he'd
got the consumption, an u have To-
live in warm climate"
"Ah. yes. of course, you pitied the
poor fellow, and let him stay on that
account"
mot exactly that but. as 1 was
sayin', he s!ung his style like p dor.
mon walkin' by Unite States
Marshal's Office. Wall, ole night he
came into a saloon where lot of US
wuz drinkin', and e steps up to the
bar an says: 'Aw-I say, bah ten
dah, give tritle of aw VAIN lemon,
ade.' Bill Jackson snorted right out,
and then says 'e: Boys, what dye
say? let's make the dOOd drink GIN
1t was go; so Bill walks up and
slaps the dOOd on the back like he'd
break him in two. Bill's the best
man on the mussel in our hull kentry.
Say says Bill, you'd better drink
gin.' 'Ah-but it is VAIN lemonade
l desiah,' says the dood. wall, says
Bill, warm lemonade don't go in
these 'ere parts; you drinks gin or
nuthin'; you hear me- It-aw-
seems to me you're mistaken, says
the dude, 'ithout seemin' to see there
wuz trouble ahead Il want to-aw-
dwink VAIN lemonad,' an he reach
ed out for the glass. Bill wunk at the
rest of us an says to the dude: Dye
know what Pm a-goin' to do eff you
tries to drink anything but gin p
'Weally, l do not, nah deah boy ,
'Wall'.says Bill. Pm a-going to stand
you on yer head in that air box o.
sawdust.' 'AW-that would not be
wight, says the do0d, tippin' up his
glass to drink. Bill reached out an
grabbed 'im by the neck. an l never
seen man git licked so quick"
"Bil was too much for him. was
he?"
"No stree, it wuz t'other way. 1t
wuz Bill that got licked. Jerusalem
and Gin'ral Jackson. but how that
dood did jump about! An every
time 'e jumped he fetched Bill on the
eye or under the ear or along the jaw,
an Bill couldn't get within gun shot
NV i'm. Why thet air dood had more
tricks fur fightin' than Bill ever
dream't NV. Fust he'd be behind
Bill an then on top Nv i'm. an then
under i'm, an every time Bill open
ed an eye the dood stuck fist in it
erry fist, it didn't make no differ nee
to him. He wuz just about es handy
with his thumpers es any man needs
to be in this world. 1t didn't take
him more'n a minute to go all around
Bill, and over i'm an thr0' i'm in the
bargain, an then, when he had Bill
pretty we'll licked, he took him the
allfiredest crack on the nose an sent
i'm over in the corner behind the ice
box like bundle o. old clo'es."
"What did he do then ?'
"Why. he just turned aroun' an
brushed the sawdust off his knee
where he'd ducked down to come up
under Bill, an says he; Gentlemen,
will you all join me-aw-in VAIN
iemonade?' An we jined i'm too
quick"
"Yes, he's there yet; an guess he
kin stay unless the consumption gifts
away with i'm. There hain'tnothin'