The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-10-10
HumOrs of the Battlefield.

Many humorous incidents occurred on
battle fields. A Confederate colonel ran
ahead of his regiment at Malvern Hill,
and discovering that the men were not
following him as closely as he wished, he
uttered fierce oath. and exclaimed:
Come onl Do you want to live for
everY"
The appeal was irresistible, and many
poor fellow who had laughed at the
colonel's queer exhortation laid down his
life soon after
A shell struck the wheel of q Federal
| tield-pece toward the close of the engage
ment at Fair Oaks, and, shivering the
spokes, dismantled the cannon.
"Well isn't it lucky that didn't hap
hen before we used up all our ammuni-
tion," remarked one of the artllerists, as
he crawled from beneath the gun.
When General Pope was falling back
before Lees advance in the Virginia val
ley, his own soldiers thought his bulle-
tins and orders somewhat strained in
their rhetoric. AT one of the numerous
running engagements that marked that
disastrous campaign a private in one OF
the Western regiments was MORALLY
wounded by shell. Seeing the mans
condition, chaplain knelt beside him,
and opening his Bible at random read
Samscn's slaughter of the Philistines with
the jaw-bone of an ass. He had not
quite finished when, as the story runs,
the poor fellow interrupted the reading
by saying:
'Hold on, chaplain. Don't deceive q
dying man. Isn't the name of John Pope
signed to that"
A column of troops was pushing for
ward over the long and winding road in
Thoroughfare Gap to head off Lee after
his retreat across the Potomac at the close
of the Gettysburg campaign. Suddenly
the signal officer who accompanied the
general in command discovered that some
of his men, posted on high bill in the
rear, were reporting the presence of a
considerable body of Confederate
troops on top of the bluffs to the right.
A halt was at once sounded, and the
leading brigade ordered forward to I'M
cover the enemy. The regiments were
soon scrambling up the steep incline,
officers and men CALAMITY racing to see
who could reach the crest first. \ young
lieutenant and some half dozen men
gained the advance, but at the end of
what they deemed a perilous climb, they
were thrown into commissions of laugh
ter at discovering that what the signal
men took for Confederate troops were
only tolerably large flock of sheep AS
the leaders in this forlorn hope rolled on
the grass in paroxysm of merriment,
they laughed all the louder at seeing the
pale but determined faces of their COM
hn Of full
pecting desperate hand to hand strug-
gle.
1t is perhaps needless to say that the
brigade supped on mutton that evening
AS the army was crossing South Noun
tain the day before the battle of Antie-
tam, General Mcclellan rode along the
side of the moving column. Overtaking
a favorite Zouave regiment, he exclaimed
with his natural bonhomie:
"Well and how is the old Fifth this
EVENING""
"First-rate, general replied one of
the Zouaves. But we'd be better off if
we weren't living so much on SUPPOSE
ton"
"Suppositionl" said the general, in a
puzzled tone. "What do you mean by
thatF
It's easily explained, sir. You see
we expected to get our rations yester-
day, but ss we didn't, we're living on the
supposition that we did"
"Ah, | understand; you shall have
your rations, Zou-Zous, tonight" re-
piled the general, putting spurs to his
horse to escape the cheers of his regi-
ment. And he kept his promise. - Cen
tury Magazine.