, 1884-11-11
THE MESSENGER-BOY.
How They Manage to Make Money
Outside Regular Wages
Getting Commissions from FLORISTS,
Cigar and Wine Dealers, and Cab
men-overcbarging Country
men and the Neyviy-Married.


lNeN IuIk AlmcAI
How muchi" Tho speaker was a we'll
Known lawyer, who sat with two friends In
the cafe at Delmonico's the other evening.
Twenty csnts, and you know 1t just as
well A. l do" answered the district mes
senge.
"Ain't you overchargingf' asked one of the
party.
"No: We never overcharge regular Gus
TONERS. They know the rates, and II We did
they'd report 1t 10 the company and we'd get
bounced. Strangers and countrymen and
newly-married couples We always sizo up
and charge double rates And then, besides,
regulars always give us something. One Of
them gives ms 10 @ extra every time; an
other one, has a gambler on Twenty-e eighth
street, gives me according to his luck; some
times as high as 81.
Then you make money outside OF your
wagesf'
"well, some of the boys do. And there's
lots OF ways OF doing It. One way Is COM
missions We're sent out regular for cigars,
bouquets, cabs, carriages, and liquor. II we
are sent to a certain place we don't get q
commission usually: but II they just hand us
Il 81 bill and say, Got me five cigars or
Get mo a cab, then we ave a show. There's
loads OF business people who give a percent
age. On cigars We get from 10 cents up; on
howers = good deal more. A swell gets
mashed on a girl or an actress and sends her
a bouquet II he gives US V, We get q dol
lar from the florist
wines are very good, too. Thers'sa dealer
on Sixth avenue who has wine In plain bot
ties on ice all the time, and It costs s2 4 bot
tie, and he's rot all kinds OF labels. l got an
order for "a bottls Of Pommery' and "a l
run around there, and be puts on q Pom
merry label, and I make ~. 1t amt safe,
though. l tried 1t once on a young fellow.
and the next time | came there he kicked me
down stairs, and swore I'd poisoned him.
Then the cabbies are quite square, espec-
tally with corpsesf"
"What Is a corpeefp
"Why, It's a swell that's drunk. He'll pay
the cabby almost anything he's asked. The
cabby gives US a quarter for an order, and
sometimes whacks up the next day. But the
best blokes are mashes. Married men and
women who get mashed never use the post
Office, but only us boys We know 'em the
moment we sec EN-. They'll pay almost any
thing, and give Us an extra besides. Then
we make something on doubling up"
Whats thatf'
II get a call, and 1 find 1t will take twenty
minutes. 60 back to the office and report
pay for a shorter. l get a second call in a
short while. When l come back 10 the first
customer l charge for the whole time, and
also get paid afterward by the second. That
way l make the difference between what ]
paid for the shorter and what | get for the
whole thing. Then there's another kind oil
double. / get a shorter here in Dolmonico's
and then run ecrosa into the Brunswick and
the Hoffman. Between the two l can catch
another shorter and do both together.
Then. you see, l can charge fun tins to bosh.
and don't hava to put mp ct this Office"
"a telegraph boy hasn't a very bad time,
thenTT
YES he does. One time 1 kept going for
thirty hours without stopping. Another
Tins and lote Of times I've had TO go through
rain and snSw where there was no horse-car
lanes until ! thought l was almost dead; ]
got licked last week. I Ind a call from
young dude, who gave me two letters t,
young ladies' The envelopes had the names
on, but no residence. These he gave me sepa-
rate. | got to number ono and found I'd lost
the address Of number two. Sc I asked thu
lady the address, and showed her the letter.
The next day l met tho dude in front of hi,
place, and he said bed teach me a lesson t.
show his letters to different people, and he
gave me an awful licking with his cana.
That's sort OF rough on q boy. but now and
then he has q good lime Once e jeeloui
WomAn urea me % spot nef nusDanu toi
three days. He used TO ride up and dow
from his Office in . cab, and the cabby was q
commission friend OF mine. So | used TO gel
on the box with him and ride both ways
The old lame paid me my time. my cab hir,
for three days and gave me q dollar beside
l guess their row Is over now, because | saw
EN- walking together last Sunday Just Al
loving as two spoons"
lit lint a very moral life" observed tbs
lawyer.
The boy smiled. flushed, It may be, a little,
and said: How can WI help It'll II WEIR
Late, or loso time, or take bad money, OF
break = rule, or do anything at all, we've goi
to pay for It And then there are people In
the company who make you divvy with EN-
or treat ON. And the waters In the restau-
rants and the clerks and portsrs In the hotels
want stake l had 10 pay = waiter In thii
place 81 last week for q bloke who wanted Z
bouquet Tor his gal. And then you customer
always tell me I'm a lynn and stealin' AND
/ go to gambling bells, and gin-milln anc
opium-dens, md worse places, and ladies
and gentlemen send messages to theil
families, and give me q haif to say l left hin
in a club, or a church, or a meeting. II
chap gives me n big bill TO change, or n checl
b cash, and It's bad, the cop pinohes me anl
I'm locked up In jail. II Us boys arc bad yol
customers make Us so, and that's all there 1
to it. But I've got to skip. Much Obliged
gents, Tor the note" ~
Professor Huxlsy's Fish story.
[Chicngo Journal