The Osceola times., 1884-11-22

Tight lGcing makes the end ofthe nose
exquisitely red. OF corset docs. Carl
Pretzeps Weekly.
Because an actress is chic is no sign
that she is a chicken. Quite the contra
ry. Boston Folio.
An English lord has written three vol
umes on yawn. His books speak for
themselves. n. Y. journal.
Mr.. Shaw Of Pittsburg is worth s25,-
100000 Mr. Shaw must have found a
market for his SCOT. Courier-Journal.
When a boy OF is runs away with a
girl Of the same age the proceeding may
be called a verdant slope. Boston Bud
get.
The maxim, Creep before YOU rum"
must have originated with a darky in n
farmers melon patch. New York Jour
nal
John Kelly is having the malaria.
That's what comes of trying 10 shake
himself out of the Democratic party.
Merchant Traveller.
NERVOUS Girl" wants 10 know how to
cure "a tickling sensation about the
face" Get him to shave of his mus
tache Scranton Truth.
The Rev. Mr.. Sleeper has just been
arrested in Massachusetts,. Mr.. Sleeper
has evidently been mistaken for one Of
his congregations. Courier-Journal.
Ellen Terry, the actress, has had three
husbands. and il is pleasing tribute TO
her gentleneSs of disposition to note that
they are all alive. Lowell Citizen.
Dartmouth students have organized
political battalion. Even college STUDENT
it seems. have their uses during Pres-
dental campaign. Boston Transcript.
Honesty Is not 80 much respected as
beauty. The toad is honest, buf he has
not nearly so many admirers as the
bright Lird that would steal cherry.
Arkansaw Traveller.
"Is Life worth llving?" asked the cynic,
As he sneers At the great God-Giver;
And the medical students at their clinic
Decide that it depends on the liver.
-Hatchet.
so YOU want 10 be my coachman?"
"Yrs Sir" Are you married MANI"
well y.y-ves sir But then, that's all
right. | can get a divorce Chicago
News.
"Mr. st. John has just tossed off a stiff
lemonade to the health of Owen county,
XIV" 4 stiff lemonade for Mr.. ST. John
is one that has great deal of lemon in
it. Graphic.
A revolution occurred in Panama on
Friday, the first one in ten days. The
inhabitants of tropical countries have al
was been reputed lazy, and this proves it.
Lowell Citizen.
A California man claims 10 have seen
an animal half dog and half alligator
We strongly suspect the same man saw
two wives and two rolling pins when he
got home that evening. Burlington
Free Press.
A dinner party-The hand organist
Tine suns course IL diurnal, and the
undertaker's course is die urn toO-As
the cold, windy fall weather approach, s
the doors begin to wear bangs. Mara
than Independent.
Rubensiein is engaged on comic
opera to be called "The Parrot If only
he would work in a monkey somewhere
with the parrot, every body who ever
heard the popular anecdOte would want
to see the show. Lowell Citizen
young lady in st. Louis recently
doused a young man With a pailful OF
waler, while he was down on his knees
beg. ing her TO be his bride 1t is always
the custom, we believe, in some parts of
the west to wet new suit. Burlington
Free Press.
In the present day of shooting, suicides
and eiopements the unfortunate victims
all seem tJ be "beautiiul blondes" or
striking brnnettes." The distinctly
plain girl marries some sensible leman q d
settles down to quiet, happy life.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
It has become fashionable for New
York girls to run away from home and
get married secretly, and a few DAYS
aflerWgrd have the marriage ceremony
publicly. 1t is thought the clergymen
are at the bottom OF the scheme. Nor
ristown Herald.
American lumor," says Ouida, sis the
smile on the face Of corpse" Wei.
now. Ouida, the humor that would tickle
a dead man must be irresistible. II you
wore to see d corpse laughing wouldn't
Won think that something humorous had
occurred? Arkmsaw Traveller.
The run-off, with -ather's-ccachman
mania seems to have had its day, and
alter few beatings and two or three
weeks diet of cold potatoes the various
brides will appear at the front door with
tears in their eyes and case of divorce
in their pockets. Detroit Free Press.
A Boston young lady has been propos-
ed to by means of a letter printed on the
type writer. Such care TO have it legible
seems to have been entirely unng cessaTy
on the part of young man. Trust a
girl to read letter OF proposal at sight,
even if written in Sanskrt and a bad
handwriting. Lowell Citizen.