Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1884-01-04
THECLOl,HtN,4 TRADE,

~ THE CLOTHING TRADE.
4 Sale OF the Coat that was Worn all Hour
or Two by MIR. Jones.
From the New Orleans Times
Herman" said Il Poydras' street mer-
chant clothier,, addressing his clerk, ''haf
We sold all of dose oyergoats vat vas left
over from last vin1er?" ra~s
''No sir, deere was dree of dem left yet.
We'll We must sell Eem right away, as de
winter will not last, you know, Herman.
Pring me one Of de goats and will show
you Something's about de }i>ness. I will
dell you how We will sell dem oud, una you
must learn de pisness, Herman; de winter
Vas gone, you know, und We how had dose
coats in de store more es seek years.
An eight dollar overcoat vas handed him
by his clerk, and smoothing it out, he
took a buckskin money purse from the
showcase, and st,fing it full Of paper,
dropped it into one OF the pockets.
Nov, Herman, my poy,, he continued
watch me sell dat goat. l hat sold owe,
dirty fife uf dem shust de same way, und
want to deech you de pisness. Ven dc nezd
customer comes in dc shop will show de
way Rube Hotfenstein, mine broder in De-
trolt, sells his cloding und udder dings.'
suitable pair Of cheap shoes, entered the
store The proprietor advanced smiling
and enquired:
''Vat is it you wish?"
eyer got any cheap shoes hyar?" asked
the negro.
"Blenty uf dem, my trent, blenty; ct any
brice you want.
The negro stated that he wanted pair
of brogans, and soon his pedal extreniities
were lncased in them, and j. bargain struck
AS he wa about to leave, the proprietor
called him back.
Il amt gwine ter buy muffin else. Use
got all I want. said the negro, sullenly.
dot may be SO, my dear sir, replied the
proprietor, "but shust wants you to look
at dis goat. 1t was de pure Russian WOOL,
and dis dime last year you DOM got dot
same goat for twenty-five dollars. Nine
gracious, clothing vas gone down to nod n
and dere vas no money In de pisness any
longer. You want souleding dot viii keep
you from de vedder und make you feel
warm as summer dime. De consumption
yos goin round una lie doctors dell me it
vos de vedder. More den nine peopled
died round we're lit last week. Dink
of dot. Mine trent, dot goat vos Russian
WOOL, dick und ley. Wy, MIR. Jones, who
owns de pank on Canal street, took dot
goat home NIT him yesterday und wore it al
day, but it vas q leedle digit ACROSS the
shoulders und he brought it back shust
vile ago. Dry it on. my dear sir. All! dot
yos all right. Misder Jones vas a rich man
und he liked dot goat. How deep de
Booklets vas, but it vas leedle digit agross
de shoulders
Ehe negro buttoned up the coat, thrust
;c 1or DO o1-otc Fol
peaceful smile played over his face when
his touch disclosed to his mind the con-
tents Of the pockets, but he clicked down
his joy and inquired:
"Who did you say wore this hyar coat!'
Ivy, Misder Jones yot OWNS de pank on
Canal street."
What yer gwine to ak fur it."
"Dwendy dollars"
Oats powerful high price fur dis coat,
but I'll take it,"
Herman, here, wrap up dis goat fur de
shentlenlan and drow in crayat; it Will
make him look nice nit de ladies"
- "Nobber mind, I'll keep de coat on, - re-
piled the negro, aad pulling out roll Of
money he paid for it and left the store.
While he was around the next corner
moaning over the stuffed purse, IIotfenstein
said to his clerk.
Herman, fix up anudder Won of dose
goats the same vay und doan forget to dell
dem dot Misder Jones, vot runs de pank Oh
Canal streed, wore it yesterday"
THE :, ONSEVU. NOES"
The Practical Game That was Playet, on
Miss ,urj Brown:
From the Chicago Times. <.. *
They were playing an insidious game, in
vented by the devil or SOME Of his follow
ers, called "Consequences. Presun.ine
that our readers Know how the thing is
done, we shall only detail what happen
ed. G%.ts't g NJ : e'$g~F
Joe Smith and Missouri Brown had been
sweetheartss for some: time, Though she
never would say yes when he asked her to
marry him. In fsct she fitted, with some
other fellows in a manner highly democrat
izing to Joe. He, poor fellow, had stood it
q good while, and had come to the conclu-
sion to bring things to focus, so to speak,
and had spoken to his friend Tom Brown,
a cousin Of Mlssouri's, on the subject. The
result was that on. this particular evening"
Tom proposed the |fsndlsh game above
alluded to.
The slips OF paper were prepared, passed
around. Written on, opened and read. The
q
"Jos Smith and Il zzie Simpson met in a
corn field--they were playing the pia,so o.
he said, MY darling, / love you'-She said,
I'm hungry-The consequences were that
they fell in the gutter-and> the people said,
"Twere better to laugh than to be signing"
This was deerneu euah d success that the
paper was passed al, und again. But wick
ca lou Brown, with an eye to Joe's case,
fixed things, and when. the paper wis
70 sdy TO beeread he sly : Substituted one
he had prepared beforehand. 1t was based
on a scene that occurred betH cen Joe and
Missouri only few nights before, and I'M
known to any bat herself and her lover,
andasbe wasn't afraid he'd give it away.
Here is what the. substitute paper con-
tanned. .y<'#.-a 49,.
JOSEPH Smith and MISSOURI Brown-
riets in the9back paror e hey embraced-
He said, My darling, must kiss you
che said, tOh, Joe, you mustn't but he
consequences were that he Ii Used
her about for II times ana she didn squeal
And the people all said, Why ON earth
don't those. two ,ols get married?"*
i Missouri blusEed, andth crowd hewled
In the midst of the uproar the young lady
rushed out of the room and Joe after her.
She was 8. ing right home, she said, indig-
unity, ana sac did, aud Joe with her. And
although she only lived some four squares
4 way, 1t took them from 8 TO 80 O'Clock
to walk It. 1t is observed that Missouri
doesn't firt any more, and that Joe has be-
gun TO wear q plug hat, from which one
NAV infer that the aconsequences" Of that
will BIZ all ig t.a(
The Qde MS sons.
Londou Latter 1a q licago Trlbune, #z
The Duke Of Edipburg has Just beer
to the CON 'naild Of tire Chan
lei Squadron ia very lucrative post in
he navy, and which is almost a ainecure.
nhis 81 nI,,ir NJ "a 9nt has Ehean made over