The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-06-28
A MARTINEZ FISHERMAN.
ISan Francisco Areosaut.l

tSau r rfanCt3SO ArKoEaull Apropos of suicide being a crime, am reminded of an anecd6te of Maeru- der, who was in some sor the Bill Nye ofthe army. Magruder looked at every thing from quixzical point of view. He was an Irishman-a brilliant man-bus SO possessed with the sense of humox that he was thoroughly illogical. He used to dress in the most eccentric man. ner, and was always carrying strange theories which he involved from his in- ner consciousness. When quite a young officer, he whiled away the tedium of his garrison life by studying law under Judge Gaston, distinguished jurist of the day. He was quite proud of this tact, and was won't often to allude to it. One day. Magruder became possessed with the idea that fishermen did not know how to catch haddock. He was stationed in Maine and he determined to drill them to it in military fashion.
 "Dithipline is the thing, ,hir." In ad- dition to his other peculiarities, Magru- der lisped badly. " Men should catch fish like ~oldiers. By heaven, thir, this is true"
 No one was unwise enough to dispute 1t, and so Magruder went to work to per feet his plans. Such is the force of earn est persuasion that he succeeded in con- vinciug quite body of fishermen to go in with him. At half-past four in the morning, Magruder made the round of the tents, for, in true soldier style, he had put them all in tents. To his horror he found his men asleep.
 By heaven, thir," said he to the man in the hrs; tent, why are you not up !''
 The fisherman only turned lazily in his cot.
 Get up, l tell you," said Magruder, angriiy; get up."
 The fisherman, unused to the sweets uf discipline, only cursed aloud. Here was a dilemma. " By heaven, thir,p said Ma gruder, as he afterward told the story on himself. "l had to do something to pre- serve discipline. So l told him that if he didn't get up I'd cut his throat"
 It seems, however, that the man paid not the slightest attention to what he con- sidered an impotent threat.
 But, unfortunately for him, Masruder was quite logical in his absurdites. Be- sides, he reasoned thus: "I have said would cut his throat, and. by heaven. must do it!' So thinking, he stole up 10 the man, took up a razor and drew 1t across the cuticle, intending merely to draw blood. But the man moved. so the gash was quite considerable. The sac rihcial victim roared, and the man in the adjoining tent came to the rescue. Ma giuder turned angrily to the new conner, and said:
 Tie this man up to that tree
 He did not dare to hesitate He saw the blood flowing freely from his con- Panions throat He saw Magruder with razor in his hand. So the man was duly tied up.
 Now, thir, will you get up in the morning and go out fishing when tell you?'
 The man, now terrified and weak from loss of blood, yielded, and promised any thing.
 Take him down." said Magruder, sternly. The order was executed. :" Now sign this paper" And with this he tore 1 leaf out of his note book, on which he | had written confession that the luck l less fisherman had cut his own throat, in | the intention of committing suicide.
 "Now, thir, if you dare say anything | about what has occurred this morning I | shall produce this paper. The attemp, ] to commit ,uicide is crime. By | heaven know. have studied law under Judge Gaston."