Smyrna times., 1884-01-30
Littleton Coke vs.. Clara FitzpOodle.
BY THE BABD OF TOWER HALL.
CHAPTER VII.

CHAPTER VII.
To the hotel they went-and got something to
eat
The dinner was fnished-the meal was complete
Said the husband: We've been in this famous
retreat
For week and I'm thinking that now I shall
beat
A rctIyat for myself and my own happy bride,
And return to the city with my wife by my side.
/ have bad feeling in heart and in head
Not fnllness of blood, for I've daily been Died
And say, in a whisper, of him it may please
To be eaten by midges and worried by heas,
If with watering places he haps TO be smitten.
And VIII, by mosquitoes and landlords, be 0uten
If his chest IS contracted, and he can initiate
His lungs in Il chamber of seven by eight;
If a good nstured fellow, he really don't care
II ped DdgS gymnaStlc climb up on his halr;
II, when proving his own mathematics defective
He swears not when finding his bill, in perspec-
tive,
Twice what he expected-some mathematician
Having prscticed the landlord in double position
If the man is all this, and then really he thinks
That cuuPptng and bleeding are good for MS
And hopes that the mineral water he drinks
May atone for the loss of his mineral Wealth,
Let him go to the Springs to the Falls, or the
CApes;
But here let me hint it, my darling, to YOU
IF reasons my conduct hereafter should shape
With famous resorts I'll have nothing 10 90
A crusty old fellow was there with his VIE,
Who said he intended to finish the season.
And wished he might stay there the rest oil MS
A score of fair visitors asked for his reason:
He looked up to see if his wife was in view,
Then answered The Falls of Niagara, tum-
Have done what naught else under heavens
could do
Have drowned with their thunder the voice OF
shrew.
And slenccd a woman eternally grumbling
II was only the Monday before we came here
l had lost on horse-race some hundreds oi
Next morning, at breakfast, she said to me;
Dear,
Can you give me an eagle to buy me some col
made no reply but looked black as December;
Took out of my pocket volume, and there
gave her hint she will ever remember;
read her the poem called Nothing to Wear.
But here comes my wife she who wanted the col
Twill ask her the question, and she will de-
clare
The emotions She felt when She asked for ten dol
And read her the poem called Nothing to
Wear"
Il felt" She replied, had you stayed from the
At home with your wife in your own proper
place!
Had you not set the law and the gospel aside.
By betting your money, and leaving your bride.
Had you Squandered 10 money for wine or cham
payne.
Which, profting nothing, was worse than in
Had you not your own pockets most sadly abused,
Through friends you had treated cigars you had
Had you not disappointed, returned from the
With chill in your heart, and cloHd on your
face?
Had you feeling spite not have vented the
same
On your wife, for your losses in no way to blame !
Had you not TO your manhood been guilty Of
treason,
With no show of defense in the province of rea-
son,
I might, with some profit, have listened, when
there
You read me the poem of Nothing to wear
As it was, you had squandered some hundreds
away.
And denied me a trife: felt it was true.
That whatever you read or whateer you might
In practice your precepts had nothing to do
The husband, thus scored by the unruly member,
And spurred by the laughter then shaking the
walls,
Put on an expression as black as December
And left i'll hurry to look at the Falls.
To be cOniinued.)
NoTE--The chap above alluded TO afterwards
visited Philadelphia, and, of course, called at
Tower Hall; but alas be could not be suited.
The moment he entered the store. the nap on all
the clothes stood up, and no careSSing would
smooth it, The Vests seemed to be iRrested with
contempt and the Pants painting for revenge {:
while all the garments so stUeted with Indignation
towards the man who had ill-uSed his wife, that
nothing in the store was small enough for him.
Bile class OF customers land the styles of our
Goats will not allow man te get his back up TO
quarrel with his wife. For this reason, those who
live happy at home are those who patronize
TOWER HALL, may 24-ly
SIS and $40 Market street, Philadelphia.
GARITEE, MASTEN & ALLEN.