Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-03-20


to-day what can be put off until to-mor-
row, q little inconvenience arises. The
railways are run on q happy go-Iucky
schedule, which is extremely diverting
to those who have time in abundance,
and the few who are pressed for minutes,
being in hopeless minority, rather af-
| ford occasion for mirth when they begin
to kick at Virginia methods. The rail
way timetables are in perfection in the
rural districts. Not long ago q night
train with a party of New Workers on
/ board was bumDing along comfortably at
a ten-mile-an-hour gait through remote
part of Virginia, when all at once, with
tremendous jerk, it came to a standstill
The natives in the sleeping car did not
think it worth while to ask the reason of
the sudden stoppage; the aliens did,
though, and when the conductor strOlled
through the car a roar of indignant in
CURRY wentup. The conductor soothing
ly explained that they always stopped at
a switch for fear it might not be set.
"But, good gracious" exclaimed an irate
/ New Yorker, "Where is the switchman?'
The conductor explained that the par
ticular sWitchman they then needed was
probably asleep. Followed by objurga-
lions, theconductor got off the train, went
to the station-house, and pounded vigo-
rously, shouting at the same time.
''Git up Jim, the trains here, and a
passelo' them burned folks from up North
is rasin' breeze cause the switch amt
set"
Jim called back, "Im a COMM" and
evidently turned over and went to sleep
again. The Virgianians on the train be-
gan to chuckle. Their sympathy was en-
, tirely with Jim and the conductor. The
latter continued to urge Jim, who was al
, ways comm" but didn't come. The
) conductor, at first apologize, being goad-
: ed by the New Workers, new became
} pressing.
"Do jim" he anxiously said, 'git UP
; and set the burned thing so the train car
go by"
Jim continued obdurate until one Of
the New Workers arose from his berth
/ and clad in rage and a checked ulster
got off the car and threatened to set fire
2 to the station house and mske a burnt
2 offering of Jim if that switch was not sci
, in ten minutes Within the specified
4 time Jim appeared, boiling with indigna
/ ton, and threatening to resign if he were
l again subjected to similar incOnveni
= ence.
e It is the custom along these principa
e roads to stop the train at any point on be
e ing signalled. People can be taken OF
anu put OH any NnOTS GL0y 1IASs n Ids
train-that is, what they call twenty
j mile-an-hOur train-Was going through {
n plantation a month or so ago, and the
n passengers observed three. little girls OF
o the wayside waving their white aprons
d frantically at the conductor. The train
g of course, stopped The tallest of thu
: girls, a 1O-year-Old with long eyelashes
r bashfully remarked: won't you pleas
l. give me and Katie and Fanny and thu
o doggie rider" The conductor prompt
Iy consented and assisted Miss Eye
d lashes, her companions and the dOggie OF
I board. They rode for mile or two ant
: then announced their readiness to get of
n The train was stopped and they jumped
d down and scampered off. Just as tn
y the train had started Miss Eyelashe
It rushed wildly back.
e, ooh, mister, if you please, don't g
e away till we get 'crOss the creek. Nam
: ma doesn't let us go over it unless some
n body's watching us, and we have to car
It ry the dOggie."
e The conductor waited until a final wav
: ing of white aprons on the other side O
2, the creek signifed that his passenger
It were safe. Nobody in the train express
r, ed surprise except the aliens. NObOd.
} who has ever been there before PUSHES t
d meet train in Virginia. When the frs
q railway GTdln W0uG through Gu0 duC4SA
town of Williamburgh in October, 1881
o it was advertised for 9 o'clock. 1t wa
" the time of the Yorktown centennial
% and the town was full of strangers. Thes
4 rashly appeared at the station at9 o'clOcl
y precisely. The natives meanwhile wen
r. about their business. Toward II o'clocl
n those of the natives who meant to boar
L the o'clock train assembled. Ate
q waiting there while they went off an,
j. sat on the courthouse steps, leaving OF
II ders with negro to call them when tn
n train came. It did come some time il
% the afternoon, and the negro, runnin
Is about the town, informed the passenger
q when the train would start.
q The present Norfolk and Western roa
n was once the Atlantic, Mississippi an
Ohio. Then Senator Malone gobbled
,s up. The Senator refers to Mrs. Manon
r. always as "Otelia," and she is popularl
o supposed to own more than her dove
y in all the Senator has. One day, as
= train of freight cars marked GA. M. an
O." was backing into the freight yard
v in Norfolk a pessimistic gentleman re
= marked dolfully: eyes, there it is, a
n NJ and o. That means, All Malone
and Otella's
= The Subtle Corsage Bouquet.