The Daily bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1882-1895, 1884-08-30

gain, the whole of the l3 by foot
shark which attacked the Honolulu
Boat Club and climbed over the side
of the boat to bite the forward thwart.
1t is thought that this, together with
the knock 'cm stiff. q bottle of which
will be supplied to each Representa-
tive, will tone up the several mem
bers to the necessary point TO cX-
plain to their constituents the reasons
Of their course in the Legislature.
The shark will be served up raw,
boiled, fried, fricasscd and stcwcd.
Poi in unlimited quantities will be
supplied by Government poi con.
tractor Kcau, at 81 cents pound.
As the expenditures upon this joy
Gus occasion will be larger than the
poor but pious management feel that
they can stand, the cost will be
divided between the appropriation
for ordnance and ammunition, the
expenses of the loan act, and the
maintenance of Hospitals. To pre-
vent any sore headed office seeker
from ever doubling the propriety of
these payments, 4 Cabinet Council
will be forthwith called, and they
will resoute n resolution. thusly:
"Whcreas shark meat was necessary,
and poi was indispensable, and the
success of the whole concern depend
ed upon the quantity of knock EN-
stiff provided, therefore he it resolved
that the programme of the Hash
House blow out constitutes q separate
Appropriation Bill, and as these
several items appear upon the bill of
fare, the Legislature must have in
tended that they should be paid for,
and the Minister of Finance will
therefore pay the sum required to-
gether with all other expenses in
cidcntal thereto" A majority of
the Legislature will be present, and
so soon ms the resolution is read they
will all say aye, and hold up both
hands and the expenditure will there
fore be strictly legal. The festivities
will not be confined to filling the
bellies of the guests with shark
meat, but there will be feast of
reason and n flow of soul or sam
shoe orsOmcthing of that kind. Water
Pipe Macfarlanc will hold forth upon
the necessities of subsidies, and the
advantage which the Government
derives by letting jobs at private
contract instead of calling for ten
ders. Audit Everything Walker will
discourse upon "What / don't know
about keeping accounts, or how not
to do it," Shouting Kaulukou will
dwell upon the beauties of retrench-
ment and economy. Joe Gardner
will explain how to walk Il crack,
with three kinds of rot gut on board,
without appearing to be drunk. Lii
kalani will diyulge the valuable secret
Of which saloon supplies the most
liquor for the least money. The
Attorney-General will demonstrate
the similarity of the Appropriation
Bill, the Loan Act and the Hash
House Bill of Fare, to the entire
satisfaction of 4 majority of the Leg
islature, and the wind up will be pro-
nounced by Apostate High Priest
Gibson after n soul stirring address
on how to support sons-in-law, how
to be patriotic at the expense of the
country, and why honesty is the best
policy when you can't make anything
by being dishonest. The fat boy
of the Foreign Office has taken the
contract to supply all the applause,
and will roll down stairs with tin
pan in each coat tail pocket every
time m encore is deemed appro-
pirate. Altogether the blowout pro-
misses to be the most lavish and in
structivc which the management has
yet presented TO their Office holding
supporters at public expense.
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