Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-02-28
Hnmor Of the neInse.

The following items, clipped from
Cincinnati papers, illustrate the humor-
GUS side of the great deluge of 1884:
A spunky lady telegraph operator at
Ripley, o., was perched up on the roof
of house in the submerged district,
and, Notwithstanding the rapid rise of
the water, stuck to her post until the
wire refused TO work.
Calling parties of young society men
in skitfS pay their respects to maidens
in the upper stories of submerged dwell
lings every evening in the inundated
portion of Cumminsville.
Officer Dinsmore found raft bearing
or year old boy on Brooks street,
near Evans. The child was too young
to give any name but Harry" He is
a bright little lad, dressed in good
| black velvet suit. 1t is. thought that
he wandered out on the raft in play and
it floated away from his home.
As the Southern railroad track was
crossed, the boat just grating on the
steel rails beneath, sign that never
was more appropriate than Just now at
tracted the attention.: walking on
these tracks is dangerous.
| AS the relief boat was passing along
Park street it was hailed by a ..gintle-
man" sitting at the second-story Win
dow of house. '.Av yez got inything
to give me to eatp'' The boat-keeper
replied that the Gentleman had al
ready been well supplied that day, and
asked him if he was hungry, to which
he replied "Well, I'm pretty full up,
but l can hould some more;n and on
being told that he would have to wait
until next day he shouted out: 'Now
begorra, if that isn't rale mean, sure
an it's not yerself that has to pay for
it, anyhow"
| Among the amusing episodes was q
case of an old lady living on Southgate
street, the water three inches on the at
tic floor and she yelling Justify for help.
Fireman Stricken, hearing her, cut a
hole through the roof and removed hen
bedding, ETC., and then told her to come
out. She persistently refused until be
promised to go back and rescue her
four cats, her sole companions. 1t is
| not necessary to state that the cats are
still looking for sail.
! In a house near the Mississippi depot
were noticed two emaciated children
peering out upon the flood from mar
| row attic window that was too small
| for them even to sit upright in. They
had stricken, woe-begone expression
that was saddening. The only thing en-
livening about the place was a tiny
| terrier, that frisked about on narrow
roof that projected below their window
| and answered with his dismal yelp an.
other cur some distance away.
One of the most contented men seen
since the flood began was a Freeman
avenue plumber yesterday, seated or
| the step-ladder in about two feet OF
water, watching the havoc the rise was
making on the water-pipe of neigh
Dor. at is an ill-wind that blows no
body good"
One of the odd sights witnessed was
a whole family eating their dinner in
the second story of house. They had
their furniture piled on the roof, and
were seemingly very contented. The
water below them was fully forty feet
| deep.
| On one story house. with the water
| up to the caves, some wag had placed
a sign which read: First floor fol
rent"
] A prominent hay and grain ware
house on Water street has the seemingly
incongruous sign, Goal for sale'' hang
| ing from its second-story window.
From a window of house on Broad
way, which is under water to the depth
| of five feet, an undressed pine board
displays the following sign: BARRON
| open," while across the window, about
four inches above the water, contains 9
row of bottles of various sizes filled with
fire-water.
The facetious Capt Ref, when the
bulletin-board proclaimed that the
record of 1883 was distanced by the
flood of 1884, flung out banner will
the words: PUT your trust in God, but
flee to the highest hills"
/ A voice heard from a second-story
| window after q basket of provisions had
been pulled up: .Sure, an if it wasn't
| for this blessed food we'd be starved
entirely"
mo, thank yez," said stout Irish
woman, in reply to demand from the
relief boat as to whether she wanted
any provisions. Il don't want any Of
yer provisions, but if you could jus1
send me down two pairs OF boots fol
me childer I'd be obleeged.'
1t is seldom that you hear that this
'man' or that woman" requires relie1
1t is always, ''therc's gentleman ar
stairs, or ''there's LADY, beyant.
A gentleman of rather seedy appear
ance applied at the ninth district fol-
an order for a nights lodging in the
school-house for his wife and self. After
being supplied, he remarked; can
now, if yer want to make me quite com.
Portable, yer can jist give me an order
for q pair of them high rubber boots
In the submerged district an Enquirer
reporter saw a man with a graphing
hook fishing in the water. what are
you looking for, old manp" said the
scribe. Il am trying to find my house
| left it here two or three days ago"
Bill Bryant, the cattleman, was much
confused by some mischievous boys
who would take the opportunity when
he was not present to elevate the mark
he had placed in the water to note the
rise of the river. When Bryant would
see the latest dispatch on the bulletin,
giving the number of feet the Ohio had
reached, he would rush off to his stick
with which he was gauging the rise, and
as the boys had made it indicate a fail
of several inches, Bryant would curse
the lying kilograms, and call attention
to the truth of his remarkable marker
1t was said that Nero fiddled while
Rome was burning. There are people
during the present day who are equally
unconcerned while there is great public
suffering around them. Saturday night
a party was held at Cromwell's hall
Cummingsville, and dancing was kept
up all night, when there was five feet
of water on the first floor of the house,
and the building could only be reached
in boats.
Among the applicants was young
man who wanted to be fitted out with
a suit of broadcloth. Another was q
daughter of Erin, who, when interrog-
ated where her place of residence was,
replied ''down in the water;'' and the
inquisitiyeness of the superintendent,
was unable to elicit any more certain
| information as to her whereabouts.
| A dude truckman got nice ducking