The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-09-11
Choosing q Husband.

1t is not, of course, every girl who
has To . power of choosing q husband, in
the sense of selecting and sppropriating
the one among her male acquaintsnces
who pleases her best. 1t is not natural
that she should do this, and when nature
is not followed there 10 generally O dis.
astrous ending. II is true that love
sometimes begets love; but, on the other
hand, nothing is more likely to check it
than too ready response i'm the early
stages. If mans love is genuine, if he
is not deceiving himself in fancying he
has an affection which he does not really
feel, he wants no encouragement beyond
the ordinary conduct which poiteness
and good feeling dictate. II, without
any further encouragement, love dies
away, II is pretty certain that ii had very
weak roots. II q proposal comes before
o girl has allowed herself to believe that
little attentions offered to her had any
special meaning she has permit.
ted her feelings to shape themselves as
they might have done-po harm will
follow. II is unfair to expect that girl
should be ready to yield the moment the
word is spoken, and yet be ready to go
her own way, without any cause of com
plant if the word is not spoken. No
sensible man, no man whose affection is
worth retaining, is driven away by being
told by the lady of his choice that she
likes him, that she feels that in time she
may come to love him, but that her heart
is not yet his. If he really loves her lie
will come back again, and it is pretty
certain that he will learn before Il second
asking whether his affection is returned
or not. But girl, if she cannot always
choose, can always refuse; and generally
her difficulty is this-it is evident that
this man ia making love to me, do not
love him, but think might do 30 if
choose; shall choose or shall forbear
II is here that the power Of choice come
in and it is here that the voice of pru-
dence must be heard, II II is to be heard
at all. In such circumstances girl will
act wisely if she gives coHbideFable
weight 70 the general opinion that is
held OF the gentleman in question by his
professional brethren or his business &C.
quaintances. II is, in short, not the man
who is agreeable among women, but he
who is we'll liked by his own sex, whofis
the man to choose for husband. There
are certain persons, however, of the op-
posite sex vino are almost as good Judges
of mans disposition is :hoee of his
owh, anG they arc his sisters. a girl
can always tell how man stands with
his sisters: if they are really fond of
him, she may be almost sure that he will
make good husband. A mother, of
course always speaks well of her son; it
is not what she says of HIN, but his
behavior to her, that is to be looked to.
And lady may feel certain on this
point, that rs a man now treats his moth
er and sister, so ho will treat her six
months after marriage. All this may
neem very cold blooded, very far removed
from the tender feeling which courtsbip
induces. But, after allj girl has
choice to make-a choice upon which
the happiness of her whole life will de.
pend; and there is always time wheth-
er she notices i, or not, before she parts
with the control of her heart, at which
she ought to listen to her judgment.
Without better evidence than her own
feelings she is very likely to make a
mistake; but if she can assure herself
that her lover is man who is respected
and liked by his male friends, and is a
favorite at home, she may be pretty sure
that in listening to his love she is choos
ing wisely.