The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-11-22
The GOssiper.
Mother, is my chignon perfccty
Shape my pannicrs, fix my sash;
Johnuy's coming In the cleaning,
And ! want TO make mash.

|
Some of the money the repubs. used to
fix Ohio seems 10 have worked out this
way, 10 the distress of good folk. II is a
grey back, something like the silver certi.
ficates-a real handsome bill In fact; but
In spite of the fact that the label of the
confederate States" deceased, a sample
fve.dollar bin was accepted by tradesman
of this city from countryman the other
day! A genuine rebel yell' saluted the
bill when its face was enquired into
And il came TO pass that on the fourth
day of the eleventh month In that year the
mighty hosts of the democrats returned to
their own land
For one score and tour years they had
been sojourning in that country~which Dor
ders upon the headquarters, sfethe river
Saline.
Now the country which borders on this
great river is very sterile, and the inhabi-
tants thereof are wont to grow lean and
hungry; and every fourth year, on the first
Tuesday of the eleventh month, they gather
together their young men and their old men
and their fighting hosts, and go out to bat
tie against the people who possess the lands
bordering upon this Saline country.
For behold the lands lying over against
this salt river country are very fertile, and
yield rich harvests to the husbandmen
! thereof.
But the democrats, for 10! these four and
twenty years, though longing TO possess
this fruitful land, had lost the great battles
and been beaten back to the barren, salty
hills, losing many of their greatest leaders
and captains.
Now the people in this fertile country
called the Blaineites, had grown strong in
their own conceit.
They had waxed rich and indOlent, and
their chief men clothed themselves in pur-
pie and fine linen and dined sumptuously
every day.
And they said to themselves, "Who can
prevail against us? Have We not for To-!
these many years possessed this land And
are we not the owners thereby Is not our
leader the most mighty upon the earth
What can these lean and hungry democrats
do unto us9 How can they prevail in bat
tie against us? Can we not scatter them
in our might even as the wind scattereth
the chaffy
And 30 II came to pass that on the fourth
day of the eleventh month"; four and eigth-
ty years after the beginning of the nine.
teenth century, the Blaineites gathered
their hosts together and went out to battle
with the Democrats as they came down
from that salt country.
The battle lasted from the rising even
unto the going down of the sun. But the
Blaineites 81 got left " and they wot not how
Il was done.
The Democrats had become well nigh
famshed in that lean and barren country,
and they fought this great battle with Il
ferocity even unto desperation, so that the
Blaineites, even though well fed and cont
dent of victory could not withstand their
fury.
The Blaineites were smitten hip and
thigh, and their great captain, Black Jack,
son of Logan, was wounded even unto
death.
And it came to pass that when the night
was come the Democrats ceased pursuing
after the Blaineites and returned every
man to his tent
And when another day was come the
Democrats possessed all the fertile and
fruitful land, flowing with milk and honey
and old bourbon whisky.
And the Blaineites fled, every man out
of the country, and took up their abode
about the headquarters and along the banks
of that great salt stream, even in the bleak
and barren country so long possessed by
the Democrats
And as they went was heard the voice of
great lamentation.
Hank, the son of Mayo, and Jack, whose
surname was Stout, f. Follett, surnamed
Saggitarius, and Snow, whose surname was
Primer, lifted up their voices and wept.
And all the Blaineites rent their clothes,
and put sack cloth about their loins and
coal ashes upon their heads and lifted up
their voices and lamented in exceeding
great weeping
And as they stood upon the top of a high
mountain upon the bank of that briny river,
and looked back upon the land from which
they had fed and fully took in" its fair
ness, its beauty and fertility, they CRASHED
their teeth in their rage.
And in their bitterness for the loss OF the
great victory, cast the blame one upon the
other.