The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1884-05-17


the glossy splendor of its bald sheen. A
luxuriant crop OF hair had grownwhere
formerly there was only ileshy waste.
Puzzled at the change, the Star repre-
sentative leveled his opera glass. and
putting it a strong focus, proceeded to
make Investigations. The lenses de-
monstrated the remarkable fact that the
venerable baldhead was not wearing
wig, and yet on the previous evening
he had been seated in that same linden
teal seat with Uranium as smooth as
a billiard ball.
Waiting until the performance had
concluded, the Star representative
tumbled upon the transformed bald
head, with whom he happened to be
acquainted, and accosted him:
Say. old fellow, where did you raise
all that hair?' he asked.
"Hair?" with look of blank aston
ishment. why, bless your soul, have
no hair"
mo hairr' as he raised his hat and
showed close-cut crop of brown hair
that seemed just to have left the hands
of the barber, so smooth and glossy was
it. Then what do you call that?"
THAT? Why, that is paint. Fact,
/ assure you. 1t is the latest thing out.
OF course you know that we old bald
heads feel just a trife sore on the sub
ject of our badness, and yet we don't
like to wear wigs. Too much like
show, you know. Well, last week there
arrived from France a benefactor of the
bald-headed portion of the human race
who paints our heads 80 cleverly that.
as you see, the hair is almost as natural
as the genuine article"
''Cau see this wonderful manPn
Certainly; come around tomorrow
and will take you to his studio"
The next morning the appointment
was kept and the pseudo bald-head con.
Quoted the Star representative to the
second floor of little house on Fourth
avenue, where a knock at the door
brought forward a small, quick-eyea
man, with a grizzly mustache and the
air of barber rather than an artist,
and vet the mans name with the affix
ARTIST in Bald was conspicuously
painted upon the door. The object Of
the visit being made known, the Pro,
lessor entered on ayoluble explanation
of his art in fluent English.
"You must understand, of course,
he said, ''that it will not do for me to
tell you the secret of my preparation.
If were to expose that, then my bust
ness would all go to what you Ameri-
cans call the smash 1t is harmless,
and well-painted head of hair will last
for month. Is it better than wigs
Sacre! Lhave made wigs for twenty
years, but no more will | them make.
Why, look you here. have made
wigs for negro minstrels that could
sell for fifty cents. [ haye made fright
wigs, in which the hair rises. have
made blonde wigs for the divine Sarah,
and raven tre5ses for the sweet Colon
bier. But | make them no more.
now benefit my fellowmen. | paint
the heads that are bald"
DO you have much custom?n
mot yet, but will. America wants
me. See L. the head of your friend
Does he not LOOK twenty years younger
than he did two days ago, before re
stored him to youth and happiness
The assertion was too obviously true to
be denied, and when questioned further
as to the process, the little Professor
ratified on:
You must understand that originally
| was portrait painter. Then, some
how | dropped into wig-making. But
my artistic instincts revolted at the de
ceptiOn the wearing of wigs meant
worked at the trade for bread, MOI
fame. But one day it occurred to me
that l, who had so well painted hair on
canvas, might paint it on the human
head. l experimental on my grand.
father.
1T was grand success, for | made
him look so much younger that he
| married my mother-in-law, who was q
widow, and relieved me of the expense
of supporting that most adorable
woman. Here, you see, is my paint
box. 1t does not contain wide range
of color5. The principal ones, you will
observe, are the umbers, burnt and raw
Sienna, Naples Yellow, Cadmium, Van
dyke Brown, Bitumen and Ivory Black,
with a few others. With these | can
paint any tinge of hair desired. from
the golden hair of Titian's beauties to
the raven gloss of an Italian count.
You will observe by the head of youl
friend that this hair is painted on pre-,
cisely as in a portrait, all the delicacies
of light, shade and texture being en-
pioyed, and, as a result, / present 8
new man to the world. A thing Of
beauty and joy forever"
There was a knock at the door and 8
customer entered. As the Star repre-.
sentative and his friend passed out, the
latter said;
''Great scheme, isn't it? just think
of the advantages of paint over a wig.
Now l can sit in the front row at the
theaters without being laughed al. In
winter / can wear heavy hat to pro,
5ect my painted badness, and in sum-
mer one of the highest gossaner
through which the breezes will nimbly
play. .! yes, it's great scheme. "
What does the Professor charge tc
keep you in this condition of perennial
hirsuteness?"
''Ten dollars month, and it is worth
very cent of the money. Shave of
our top hair and have your head
painted
.'Some other day." was the parting
| - NJ II "