Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-03
WHY MEN DO NOT MARRY.
The English Solution of an Interest
ing Social Problem.


ing Social Problem.
The English marriage market has
| become an arena of competition as
| keen as any auction-room, saws a writer
| in the Whitehall ReUieW. The natural
impulses of women are disreoarded.
Mothers advise prudent alliances, and
| discountenance, by fair means or foul
love-matches. Girls choke down their
| feelings, and aid and abet their seniors
in encouraging men who are catches"
| throwing off the restraints which made
their grandmothers charming. But
still the cry goes up, "Men do not mar
ry." And vet the most inveterate club
man, the mOcker at love in a COTTAGE,
| was once a youth not blase, to whom
| the vision of 4 home was enchant-
ing. Almost every man tries his hand
at realizing some such dream early in
life; but the attempt is usually nipped
IN the bud by want of means, or by
failure to win the particular woman on
| whom his heart is set He suffers acute
! ly; but man is an elastic creature: in
time he mingleS again with the world,
not entirely proof against feminine fas-
clnation, but finding it almost impossi-
bic to set up an ideal. Matrons with
attractive daughters can not complain
that their girls see few men. The ten
dency Of the age is to level the barriers
between the sexes; girls play tennis,
| they row, they rink, they skate, they
sit IN the smOking-roOm, they dance,
not only IN the evenings, but in the af-
ternoons. The natural tendency of such
init oo+o 81 4
mony. But the fact is, that men who
| might have had serious intentions are
frightened off before liking begets love.
There is an all-prevailing fuss pervad-
ing the intercourse of young peo-
pie which is altogether detrimental.
The instant pair begin to show any
particular liking for each others socie-
| ty the wide world around them is in
stantly on the qui yiye. The mother
watches, fuses, reports to her cronies,
and too often catechises the girl.
wounding her sense of delicacy and
making her conscious and constrain-
ed; or leading her to imagine herself
| beloved, when the mans feeling is only
that of pleasure in the society of
| young woman who does her best to
make herself agreeable. Men are
usually ignorant how girls note and
weigh the attentions they receive, and
that they impart the details of such
homage to sympathetic-if envious-
feminine ears, thus giving body to
vague nothings, and brooding over
TRIES till they gather shape. Mean
while, the man, having said the pretty
things his idea of politeness has
prompted, goes away, forgetting them
and their recipient, while she is expect
ing a declaration rs the result of a few
soft nOthings, 8 squeeze of the hand,
or tender chances. Women are not
| aware, on the other hand, how sincere
ly he may like and admire girl with
out thought beyond mere good will.
And it is precisely the better kind of
man who falls into the misfortune of
raising false hopes; the man who be-
lieves in the simplicity and candor of
women, desires their sympathy and
values their regard. A man of the
world has the instinct of self-preserva-
ton developed strongly enough for his
protection. The sense of safety is the
real bond of many of the alliances now
SO ionable-sometimes salutarv.
often mischieyous-be between men and
married women. Kept within bounds
no suspicion attaches to them, no hopes
are built upon them. The lady receives
the petits SONS dear to the female ma
ture, which the husband of long stand
ing often neglects; the man receives
the sympathy grateful to the mascu-
line creature. Men feel this without
Analysing their sentiments, and it is a
common complaint among them nova
days that it is impossible to become
well acquainted with a girl without ex-
citing the too lively anxiety of her
friends. And no wise man proposes
without knowing the character of the
girl he wishes to marry. The mothers
who are so eager for their daughters
establishment are wise, although this
precipitation is indecorous.