Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-08-07


illness about him which indicated that he
only needed little encouragement to let
himself out. She saw this and resolved on
policy of encouragement.
1sDo YOU believe these stories in the funny
papers, she asked, "about the willingness
ofyoung ladies to be kissed?' ,
"I-I really can't say" he replied. ''Ihey
may be true" Then gathering courage, ne
added. 81 hope they are true" and drew
closer to her.
ut seems to me-" she said, 'that there is
only one way in which young man can
discover whether they are true or not"
ssAnd what is that 90 he asked.
There was brief pause. Then with a
far-a-way look in her eyes, she answered:
"By experimenting when ne has the op-
portunity."
He experimented.- Yo1akers Statesman.
ABAD BUSINESS .-Minks- -"Why howde
do. Finks? Where have you been?"
Finks-"Right here. have changed my
business"
S"What are you doing now?"
Manufacturing burglars TOOLS"
"Manufacturing burglars TOOLS"
"Great Caesar! And you confess it!
How do you know won't betray you?,'
''Tell everybody you wish. All the world
knows IT, however, "
"Was there ever. such shamelessness
Well, what kind of burglars TOOLS 40 you
manufacture, anyhow" :,
"Account books for Wall street firms"
naA"My SON." said an economical father,
can nexpress train attains greatSpeed. Light
ming is proverbial for its rapidity, comets
are supposed to hurl themselves through
space at the rate of millions of miles a
day, but comparatively speaking, all these
things are snails, my BOY. al snails. us ,,o,no
man, lazily putting at twenty-five cent
cigar, "what can possibly 60 faster than
lightning?"
IA five dollar bill after it is once broken,
my son."
sgn" "Papa," asked little boy, "a man
who steals a loaf of bread is q thief, isn't
he?"
eyes, dastardly thief"
SIS man who steals $4,000 a thief too ?"
'Well, no, my boy, scarcely. Defaulter,
/ think, is the appropriate word"
"And what is he called when he steals
s1,0O0,OOO?" mn
600, my son. 1t is termed 'diverting.'
When a gentleman diverts million he
is spoken of as fnancier."
LUCK OR PLUCK.-"I never had any
luckp' exclaimed Crimsonbeak, the elder.
81 went long of stocks the other day, when
I thought they were low, and to-day they
went lower. I've always been unlucky."
"Don't complain of your luck, said his
other half; you know you were lucky when
you married me-"
''Say plucky, ratherw
Silence ensued, and the milk on their
tea-table turned to ice water from the cool
ness that arose. YO1,kers Statesman.
RATHER PERSONAL.-When General Is.
F. Butler was young man, two girls, dwell
ing in thesame boarding-house, were stimuli
taneously in love with him. Both ladies
were sitting in the parlor one evening and
Ben was making violent love to one OF
them, much to the chagrin Of the other, who
hounced to the piano and sang "Rock OF
Ages'' at the top of her voice, laying partlc-
ular stress on the line: "Simply to thy
cross-eye cling."-LJe.
a9- An Irish Judge had habit of begging
pardon on every occasion. One day as ne
was about to leave the bench, the officer OF
the court reminded him that he had not
passed sentence of death on one of the GRIM
inals as he had intended. "Dear me ~ said
his lordship. II beg his pardon-bring
him up"
w~ "What is the most momentous ques-
ton that has agitated the women OF our
country since the first blast of freedom swept
over this land ?" screams Lille DevereauX
Blake. If YOU want candid opinion, Lii,
we should say twas whether they shall wear
4. T,,1l S,x,..I