Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-09-27
DUKES EXPERIMENT..
How the Duke Of Wellington Get Rid
Of a Bore by a Simple Device.
From Harp,r's for October.

From Harp rs for October.
In a ground floor room in one of the large
public buildings Of London man sat writing
at table covered with papers. He wasa short,
strongly built figure, with prominent nose
and a face hard and massive as a granite statue
wearing the set look peculiar to men " no have
surmounted great difficulties and confronted
great perils. Few, indeed, had had more practice
in both than this man, for ne was no other than
the Duke of Wellington. and his crowning VIC
tory at Waterloo was still but few years old
There was the tinhle of a bell outside and then
murmur Of voices in the anterOom; but the
duke never raised his head from his writing
even when his secretary entered and sad ''If it
please your grace. that man with the bullet
PROOF breaStplate has called again. and wishes
very much to see your grace for moment"
The dukes face darkened as well it might
for the man in question was the most
pertinacious bore whom he had ever en-
countered. The bullet-proof cuirass was his
own invention. and he never lost chance
OF declaring that the safety of the whole British
army depended upon its instant adoption of this
unparalleled discovery" which he carried about
with him. and exhibited at all times and at all
places. Had this been all he would soon have
been disposed of but. unluckily. he had con-
trived to interest in his invention one or two of
the duke personal friends. and to get from them
letters of recommendation which even Yelling
ton could not easily disregard Something must
clearly be done, however; for although the fell
low had hitherto been kept at bay, he was evil
IDENTITY determined to give the duke no peace till
the matter had been fully gone into. For mo-
ment Wellington looked SO grim that the secre-
tary began to hope for the order which he would
gladly have obeyed, viz, to kick the inventor
into the street forthwith. But the next instant
the iron face cleared again, and over it played
the very ghost OF smile, like a CLEAN OF winter
sunshine upon precipice. 'Show him in, said
he briefly.
The observant secretary noted both the tone
and the smile that accompanied it, and he in
wardy decided that it would have been better
for that inventor if he had not insisted on seeing
the duke. In came the great discoverer-a tall
slouching. shabby. slightly red-nosed man, with
wOuld-be jaunty air. which gave way little
however, before the Iron Dukes" penetrating
glance.
Il am glad to think that your grace appreci-
ates the merits of my invention" said he in a
patrOnizing tone. "They are indeed too import
ant to be undervaued by any great commander
made by your gallant troops at Waterloo among
the French cuirassiers, whose breastplates were
not bullet-prOOt whereas if"
Have you got the thing with your" inter-
rupted Wellington.
The inventor unwrapped very snowy look
Ing cuirass of polished steel. and was just be-
ginning a long lecture upon it's merits when the
duke cut him short by asking:
Are you quite sure it is bullet-proof?"
Quite sure. your grace"
''Put it on, then, and go and stand in that cor
ner.'
The other wonderingly obeyed.
''Mr. Temple" shouted Wellington to his Sec
rotary. t:ll the sentry outside to load with ball
cartridge. and come in here to test this cuirass
Quick. now!"
But quick though the secretary was, the in
ventor was quicker still. The moment he real
lied that he had been set up there on purpose to
be fired at and to be shot dead on the spot if his
cuirass turned out to be not proof after all
he leaped headlOng through the open window
with yell worthy of Blackfoot Indian, and
darting like a rocket across the COURTYARD, van
1shed through the outer gateway: nor did the
Duke of Wellington, from that day forth ever
see or hear of him again.