davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-10-16
HUMOROUS.

A cereal story-A crop report,
In business on his own hook-The
butcher.
Posing for effect-A goat ready to
butt
Latin is a "dead language--when
an inexperienced drug clerk fools
with it.
In the midst of all the excitement
concerning it the north pole remains
perfectly cool
Talk about a man turning a womans
head. 1t is passing another women
with a new bonnet that does.
STOPPING over to pick up a fair
lady's handkerchief loses its joy when
it sacrifices suspender button.
Men and horses differ. The latter
Is worthless unless he is broke, and
the former is worthless if he is ditto.
Sometimes when a man falls down
he is said to have slipped up. Such
are the Inconsistencies of our Ian.
guage.
The true lady is the one who pre-
tends to admire her neighbor's bonnet
when in reality she considers it a
fright.
"Were you ever caught up in sud-
den squall?" asked an old yachtsmap
of worthy citizen. "Well, l guess
So" responded the'good man. Il have
helped to bring up eight babies"
Life is like harness. There are
traces of care, lines of tronble, bits OF
good fortune, breaches of good man
ners, bridled tongues, and everybody
has tug to pull through.
40 talk to me, my dearest love,
OF somethig noble, good ard pure;
Some subject that, like heav'n above,
VIII ever for all time endure"
He cleared his throat and binked his eyes,
For he was up to divers tricks;
And then, with words so wondrous wise,
He talked to her of politics.
"What can that man be about, pa?"
asked young lady as fellow passen-
ger leaned over the side of the steamer
in apparent convulsions. 81 should
Judge" remarked the old gentleman,
"that the fellow is about dead.'
The grasshopper has, according to
its size, 100 times the kicking power OF
an average man. 1t must be exciting
times for the young grasshoppers
which go courting and find the Old man
at home.
"Oh. do so dote on the sea-" she
gurgled. of you only had yacht,
Augustus, dear!" al have no yacht,
Wilhelmina," he sighed, "but l can
give you a little smack" And then it
sounded as if cork had flown out OF
a bottle.
A Boston man was arrested for call
| ing his servant "red-head.' Ii he
had spoken of her hair as capillary
substance wearing roseate blush like
unto the brilliant hue of golden sun,
set he would have gained the applause
of every resident of his city.
"Are you going to make flower
bed here?" asked young lady of her
fathers gardener. Eyes. miss, thema
the orders" "Why, it'll spoil our
croquet ground" Cant helpit. miss.
Your papa says he's bound to have
this plot laid out for horticulture, not
husbandry."
There's something the matter
with this lemonade; 1 guess your
lemons must have been too ripe" "Oh.
no. replied the waiter: the lemons
are all right. 1t may be the ice; a 1T
tie stale. perhaps" Ice stale?"
Yes, sir; been kept since last win
| I
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-10-16
APitIly Election Speech.

"Was ever terser election speech
made than the following?' asks Lon
don paper. The speaker was the late
Mr.. John Peel, and the occasion meet
ing at Accrington, when Mr.. Peel,
who was always very loath to speak.
was at last prevailed upon to say few
words. "Men of Accrington," he
said. "if you are so backward in coming
forward, we shall be all behind, as we
were before" He said no more.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-10-16

A clergyman who recently held ser.
vice in Auburn prison preached from
the text, GO home to thy friends. '
His hearers we II willing, but
couldn't seem to arrange it.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-10-16

A Texan. who raises goats for their
flesh, says that kid steaks are more
delicate than vension.
The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-10-16
QUITS.

"There, l think that will do. he
will never be able to recognize the
handwriting" and Mamie Raymond
held at arms length for inspection the
letter sne had been writing, After
slowly waving it to and fro she put it
into the envelope and, with laugh,
wrote.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Sandersvills Herald new evil
has recently developed among the
colored women in Sandersville, and
that is the opium and morphine
habit. A few weeks ago one was so
narcotized by morphine that for sew
eral hours she could not be aroused,
while another visited her who de-
clarod she had taken so much lauda-
mum she could scarcely keep her eyes
open. The former has again been so
overpowered with morphine or OPT
UNI in some form AS to cause consid-
cradle alarm as to her condition -
There is a culpable carelessness here
that may give rise to legal investiga-
ton in the future. If to the general
worthlessness of many colored fe-
males is TO be added the awful vice
of using morphine, it will prove a
deadly blighc to their moral eleva.
ton.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
Wanted. A Friend.

One who viii recognize me when /
am compelled to wear patched breeeh-
es; who will take me by the hand
when l am sliding down hillinstead of
giving me kick to hasten my descent;
who will loan me dollar without re-
curing $40 worth of security; who
will come to see me when L am
sick; who will pull off his coat and
fight for me when tie odds are two
to one; who will talk Of me behind
my back as he talks to my face.
Such friend is wanted by ten thou
sand human beings throughout this
broad earth.-Sau Francisco News
Letter.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The Fort Valley Advertiser says
some of the fruit and truck men in
that locality get returns of sales for
their shipments and nothing else. In
this locality all the truck shippers,
during the past week or two, have
received nothing but returns of sale.
The cash receipts have not amount
ed to enough to pay the expenses in
Cured in loading the cars. The
truck producer, it seems, is destined
TO come out of the business at the
little end of the horn. Hawkinsyille
News.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

A few days ago the pastor of a
church in this county, DESTROYS of
finding out how his flock stood on
the whisky issue, put it to a vote.
He SAID: "All in favor of whisky
being sold in this county will signify
it by rising" One man stood I'D.
The preacher was certain he had the
thing solid then; that all the rest were
against it. He then, with victory in
his eye, exclaimed; can opposed to
the sale of whisky in the county will
please rise. Not a single person
moved, proving to the parson that by
a majority of one the whisky traffic
was favored. AT this the anxious di-
vine became offended and gave them
one month to reconsider, at the end
of which time, if they had not
changed their minds, he could serve
them no longer.-Dublin Post.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
Crazy Patch Work !

Having large assortment of re,0rou,
and pieces of handsome brocaded 'i 0.s
satins and velvets, we are putting tbe roA aa
in assorted bundles and furnisSinS e tha up
Tor Crazy Patch work." Cushions M ILsm
Tides, ETC., etc. Package Nc I| -iI
handsome bundle of exqnisit silk s.t :;
and 6rocaded velvets Gall different ! '@ Inas
the thing for the most superb nottor Su ~
fancy work. Sent postpaid for S. cents III III
postal note or 1-cent stamps. Pactona
No. 2-containing three times as mmn Js !.
package No 1. This is sent posnai maid" fo ~
S10O. These are all of the very Ni finest est
quality and cannot be equalled at a~"
other silk works in the U. S. at three t;'n:,
our prices. They will please auy sdv
One order always brings a dozen more
Ladies Manual of Fancy Work, with Am
Illustrations and full instructions for art;at,O
fancy work, handsomely bound, POSTPAID
80 cents. Order now. Address The
RoCHEsTER SILK WORKS, Rochester, New
horK' May Is, St..
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
farms.

Dalton Citizen:-A young lady
of Dalton was awakened from her
SAUNDERS the other night by feel
ing of intense dread and Fremont
ton of danger. Before retiring she
had left the lamp burning low, and
the apartment was dimly lighted.
Some fascination drew her eyes to
the opposite side of the bed, and to
her horror she saw the uncannv
coils of snake, perhaps foot and
half long, reclining on the white
coverlet with its basillsk eyes fasten-
ed upon her. When discovered the
reptile glided swiftly and silently
away, out left the young lady in such
a state of terror that sleep forsook
her eyes for the rest of the night.
The limbs Of a tree, interlaced with
honeysuckle vines, grew near win,
dow Of the room, and it is supposed
that by this means the snake effect
ed an entrance in search of rates or
mice.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

A gentleman who has been tray
cling over the state says: have now
travelled over every county but three
in the frst and second districts of
Georgia, and all the bordering coun
ties Of Florila, and I am assured that
crops snrpsss anything known for
years. Corn is now past all danger.
Cotton is superb, and without calami-
ty to it will yield immensely.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
Farmer j. Il. CrOs,and, of
DougherGy.
South Georgia Clariun.

We tried in vain to find an acre of
corn that had not already made at
least ten or twelve bushels. The
most of it had made fifteen or twenty,
and many a great deal more. The
cotton averages fully waist high, with
a good stand ard fruiting well.
Without rust or caterpillar one hun
dred and fifty bales will be a short
yield. The writer, living in Mitchell
county and having farmed for years
in Baker, is used to good corn and
cotton. But We never saw it on this
wise. Mr.. Grassland has manured and
cultivated his land and rotated
his crops with such care that his
plantation is now like garden. 1t
Is worth any ones time to go aad see
1t. Mir. Grassland deserves great cred
it for his experiment, and it will be
well for the farmers of South Georgia
to study it. He has nothing but first
class mules. He raises his own
meat, and has now one hundred fine
hogs to kill this winter. He pays
cash for labor and everything else.
He is constantly improving his breed
OF cattle and hogs. He plants no
more than his mules are sure to Gull
tivate WE'LL He makes those mules
and his hands work. No idle man or
woman is allowed to stay on his farm.
lie attends TO his own business and
rings his own bell in the morning.
Economy, prompt payments, energy,
close attention, sound Judgment, firm
management, perseverance and enter
prise are the formula which, with
the judicious and liberal use Of fer
tiiizers, Is making the Ben Hill plan
tatlon IN East Dou9hety vast COW
pen garden. Mr.. Hill himself once
told the writer that he could do moth
ing with a piny woods plantation
No wonder; he stayed in Atlanta
and practiced law and run politics,
and the plantation was left to run it.
self. A plantation without head
and a judicious, attentive head, at
that will no more succeed than
store or law Office without attention.
Farming by proxy has been the luin
of Baker and Dougherty counties. Mr.
Grassland does no proxy work. He
farms.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31


DIR. J BRADFIELD: Dear Sir-My
daughter has been suffering for many years
with that dreadful aflliction known as
Female Disease, which has cost me many
dollars, notwithstanding l had the best
medical attendance, could not find relief.
l have used many other kinds of medicines
without any effect. had just about given
her up, was out of heart, but happened in
the store of W. w. Ecker several weeks
since, and he, knowing of my daughters
afliiction, persuaded me to buy bottle OF
your Female Regulator. She began to inn
prove at once. was so delighted with its
effects that bought several more bottleso
it; and knowing what do about it, if to-
day one of my family was suffering with
that awful disease, would have tiff il cost
$50 bottle. for can truthfullY say it ha:
cured my daughter sound and well, and
myself and wife do most heartily recon-
mend your Female Regulator to be lu%
what it is represented to be. Respectfully,
II. d. FEATHERsoE.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
Stiits Needed.

A beautiful Indiana schoolgirl thir-
teen years old and six feet and one
inch high, is causing a general rup-
ture among the suspenders of the
short boys who try to kiss her
North Georgian.
Why don't the gunps climb up, or
make stills or get her to stoop or bend
or lean forward, like the diviuitles of
Homer, or takes seat or hand down
her lips? The tariff on suspenders
Is too high to admit of such wasteful
extravaganza.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

During the last three or four weeks
four or five negroes have been lynch
ed IN Georgia for rape. While we
disfavor lynching, the scoundrels met
their just fate, ana we feel proud to
know that Georgians will protect
their wives and daughters.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

New Orleans authorities deny the
report that there is yellow fever in
that city. II there is not, the fact
should be established forthwith, or
else twill have dampening effect on
the Worlds Exposition to be held
there.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The Valdosta Times states that
the melon growers of Lowndes and
Brooks counties will not raise any
more for shipment unless the rail-
roads reduce the freight rates.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

A committee engaged in the work
of revising the old testament have
finished their labors. After submits
sion to the Convocation the Tesla
ment will be issued to tie public.
Twelve of the twenty,seven members
have died during the revision.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The National Prohibition party
has met, made its little nominations
and disbanded. The next heard of
their candidates will be after the
election, when they will be found
sucking ''solace' from a well-flled
flask.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

An exchange says girls are mar
ried in Armenia when they ale ~
years old. In this country they are
too busy buying candy and making
faces at the boys to think of matri-
mony at that age.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
A Failure.

Ii is an undisputed fact that truck
farming has proved a failure The past
season, and to those who relied
mainly upon their truck income for
support a disaster. In many in
stances the crop has not paid for It's
production. The principal cause of
it is the high transport ation rates
charged by the railroads, and unless
a reduction is made by them tho
growers will be compelled to aban-
don melon growing, which will de-
prlve our northern friends of solid
chunk of comfort and many attacks
of cholic. In speaking of the failure
of the crop the South Georgia
Clarion has the following:-
The melon crop has been a miser-
able failure this season. Last year
our growers lost heavily by reason of
the glut. In the convention at
Thomasville, last fall, it was demon
strated that only twenty-five per
cent. of the money value or gross
sales Of the crop come back into the
hands of the growers, and appeals
were made to the railroads to lower
the freights,. so that
the growers could re-
trieve, in measure, their disas-
tiers. But in the face of this the
rates for 1884 were advanced-so
much that distant points like Detroit
were rendered Inaccessible. The
growers, at their own expense, estab-
lished clearing agency at Atlanta,
so as to distribute the crop. This
was, to a great degree. a success.
No glut has occurred. But the re-
turns to this place have been very
unsatisfactory. The high freights
and 10 per cent. commission on the
gross sales have eaten up the profit.
Our growers are blue. They hate to
return to all cotton. The idea nau-
seates. It is like the dog returning
to his vomit. Our people want to
grow melons. The crop is not SO
expensive to make as cotton. 1t
does not need so much hoeing. But
this years experience with melons
has left the growers without hope.
Nor is the disappointment confined
to this place.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Several Mormon missionaries have
been arrested IN Germany for seeking
converts in that country. We might
profit by the example of the Ger
mans,
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Texas comes to the front with two
bales of new cotton. Primus Jones,
OF Baker, is behind this season. The
Albany Medium contains the fol-
lowing
Col. Primus Jones, of Baker, the
first bale man, has about three hun
dred acres planted in cotton this
year, one hundred and twenty-five
acres of which is tapping across four
feet rows. He has cotton open, and
the first bale is hourly looked for.
On one stalk our informant counted
forty grown bolls, which give some
idea how his cotton is fruited
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

STATE OF GEORGIA, Troup County.
l have examined the recipe of DR.. J.
Bradfeld, and pronounce it TO be comb-
nation of medicines of great merit in the
treatment of all diseases of females for
which he recommends it.
VIM. P. BEAsLEY, NJ. D.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Reports say that q woman died
of cholera in New York a few days
since. The authorities endsavoled
to conceal the fact, but some one
''let the cat out of the wallet"
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Some female baseball! players have
been robbed in Baltimore. Good!
The female baseball player should be
CRUSHED.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Our babe was sick from teething.
We used Pitts Carmiuative with
such a happy effect, we expect to
keep it on hand as family medicine.
Mr.. and Mrs. Preston Lazenby.
Thomson, Ga.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Lieutenant Greedy and six others
Of the signal service party, lost
while out in search of the North
Pole' have been found by the relief
expedition sent after them. They
were found five miles off Cape
Sabin. Eighteen Of the original
party had died.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Beverly,of the Hawkinsville News,
knows q good thing. Listen at
him
A good crowd of Georgia editors
will meet i'll Atlanta to-day and go
on a big excursion to Baltimore
While they are excurting aud seeing
the sights, We hope to be among the
farmers in some neighborhood of
Pulaski feasting on luscious peaches
big watermelons, chicken pie and
''sich like" There is more pleasure
and recreation in one excursion"
among the farmers of this section
than there is in half dozen trips to
Baltimore.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Gen, James Longstreet, U. S.
Marshal of Georgia, has been asked
to resign by the President. who de-
sires to make room for j. E. Bryant
to pay for his truculent services in
the late republican convention.
whereby delegation was chosen to
Chicago favorable to Arthur.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The solemn and funeral tones of
the letters of the republican candi-
dates have left their impress upon
the country.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Evidence continues to accumulate
to the effect that Blaine will be put
on the defensive during this cam
paign.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

John C. Emo, the defaulting New
York banker, has rented splendid
ly furnished residence in Quebec,
Canada, and has been joined by his
wife and daughters from New York.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
w % NJ II
Her Health and Happiness are
Matters of Great Concern to
all Mankind.
NEAR MARIETTA. Ga

NEAR MARIETTA, Ga.
Some months ago ! bought bottle Of
Dr,J: Bradfield's Female Regulator, and
used it in my family with great satisfac.
ton. L have recommended it to
three families, and they found it to be just
what is claimed for it. The females who
have used it are now in perfect health and
able to attend to their household duties.
REV. II. B. JOHNSON.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

1t is asserted that the marble beds
in Pickens county, this state, are un-
surpassed in quality by any deposits
on the globe.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

A female preacher in Georgia is
causing some agitation of woman's
rights. The dear creatures have
right to a home, a husband and a
baby.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Some New York City churches are
closing for the summer. The devil
will not close doors, however.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The Georgia Capitol Commissioners
rejected all bids submitted to the
board at their meeting and will re.
advertise for bid" to furnish the ma.
terial and do the work on the build.
ing The CHEF reason for this &C.
90. das that tAe bids we're too
high.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The Prohibitionist have nominated
ex-Gov. st. Johns, of Kansas, for
President. Ia ia, Gov. ST. j., your
honor is an empty one.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

A negro woman in Clark, county,
gave birth to three children Satur-
day. She is IS years old ard is the
mother Of &c children.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Editor Hanlon expresses his views
vigorously concerning the railroad
commission. He is decidedly in
favor of it.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The first case of yellow fever has
appeared in New Orleans. Some
deaths have resulted.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Gen. Longstreet has resigned the
Georgia Marshalship and j. E.
Bryant has been appointed to fill
the vacancy.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Blaine seeks to make the tariff
question the chief issue of the Presi.
dental campaign,
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Truck farmers will doubtless de-
vote their energies to something
moro profitable another season.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The wires continue to bring disas
trous reports of the ravages OF
cholera in France.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

The Georgia neutrality-suspicious."
assembled in Atlanta last week and
put out an electoral ticket for Blaine
and Logan. The deliberations of
these statesmen and patriots were
presided over by Hon. Jas. c. Free.
man. The following is the electoral
ticket -
At large, Hon. Joshua Hill, OF
Morgan; Hon. James Longstreet, of
Hall first district, r. W. Fuller :;
seeod district. L. +. Burkett third
district, w. H. Reese fourth dis
trict, R. /. O'Kelly; fifth district,
j. G. Jenkins ). sixth district, Henry
S. Glover; seventh district, Miles G.
Dobbins; eighth district, W. II. Nc
Whorter; ninth district, G. A. Ell,
iington; tenth district, T. NJ
Berrien.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Democratic success seems surer
every day.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Jackets of velvet with vest of satin
are nice and stylish for breakfast
Exchange. If it is the style, no
doubt this novel dish will fnd favor,
and yet there are hard-headed old
fellows who will still cling to tripe,
style or no style.
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31

Treatise on the Health and Happiness OF
Woman mailed free
The BEADFIELn REGULATOR Co,
Box 28, Atlanta, Ga,
The Dawson journal. (Dawson, Ga.) 1878-18??, 1884-07-31
. EORGIA. TERRELL CnrNrY:

GEORGIA, TERRELL County:
~ Ordinary's Office, July 2, 1884.
Whereas, o. G. Cleveland, guardian for
M. d. Cleveland, having in proper form
applied for leave to sell part Of the lana
belonging to said wards estate; all persons
are hereby notified to show
cause, if any they can, why leave to sell as
prayed for should not be granted At the
next August Term, 1881, of Terrell Cours
Of Ordinary. He. BELL,
Att Ordinary.