Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-02-28
TIE TARANTULA'S BITE
David Lowry in The Current ]

Among all my acquaintance, none seemed
happier than Eugene F.. l named him
Fortunes Favorite. He had beautiful and
highly accomplished wife; his children were
the prettiest and the best hammered have
ever met. All the women considered Mrs.
F. as near perfection as mortals can
achieve; all the men voted Eugene F as
clever man as one could desire to claim
fellowship with. He was rich in associations
in the integrity Of a name that commanded
the respect Of four generations. How few
aspiring Americans can say as much. He
possessed the advantages liberal education
gives; his place was assured as well
as it is possible to assure anything In coun-
try where the wheel of fortune obliterates the
accumulations and regulations Of genera
tons, and lifts men and women out Of OBJ
security in day. That is to say, the com
pany that employed him was the Oldest, most
reliable, and the richest organization OF its
kind in the country. Finally, in addition to
a salary Of three thousand . year, Eugene
had good reason to count upon an inheritance
in the near future that would render him In
dependent
The noteworthy trait fellowship with
Eugene F. revealed, was his equable spirits,
born as he asserted, Of contentment. He was
satisfied with his place, his belongings and
enjoyments. No man had more to make him
happy, he said No man enjoyed life more
philosophically, or fretted himself less over
the big or little things beyond his control It
was this equipose, and, doubtless, his ignor-
apce of the trials and bitter expert
ences Of less favored people, that
rendered Eugene F. Indifferent when
the msfortunes and temptations Of the
poor were discussed. Generous to a fault, he
was unable to comprehend the dire necessities
that drive the unfortunate to desperation and
death. He was severe-could with difficulty
find language strong enough to express his
contempt Of the average suicide,
A poor man who sought employment and
failed to find it, weary with fruitless effort,
despairing under the worlds rebutfs, plunged
recklessly into the unknown. The means EN-
phasized the poverty of the wrctched Great
ure The newspapers made much Of it. 1t
was the item of the day, and proved base
for columns. dropped in OH Eugene one
day when his hours work was DONE He had
a newspaper In his hand. He threw it down
jmpadenuy, angrily, rs he handed me a
ctgar, and pushed me into SCAT aging:
II am disguised with you newspaper men.
Why do you give SO much prominence to
that horrible suicide. BY all accounts, the
fellow did all that was left for him to do. II
he had only displayed common sense, when
be was about it and adopted easier means
If man must kill himself, why does he dis
figure himself, or impose unnecessary and
horrible agonies such as this poor wretch in
dicted upon himselfr
Aside from the fact that have no patience
with the speculation and theory that cuts
ground from under every Christians feet, l
was tired. Eugene worked an hour every
day. l worked, Oh an average, twelve at
least and did more in one hour than Eugene
did in three. Since it was clear to me that
he received at least ten times more for his
mental toll than did, could afford to per-
NIT him to indulge himself in a prolonged
dissertation of the survival of the fittest." 1t
pleased him and amused me.
"Now,' he said, at the end Of a chapter,
"teli me why q man who chooses to kill him
SELF let us say with rat poison, should be ne
gaI1ied as much above a rat Here is an
other account, in this mornings paper Of a
woman who held her head IN tub Of water
until she drowned. Tell mo a woman who
does that il entitled to the benefits OF the
nineteenth century, Why, il such people
were fairly balanced on the fence round
Heaven, they would hang with their heads
downward Of choice. Human tadpoles, all Of
them%
Eugene had horror Of death; cemeteries
were his special aversion. He was never
known to attend a funeral. He could not
bring himself to witness the ceremonies in tho
house or at the grave He had a prejudice
against burial.
~Why, can't everybody have vaults, with
nice, pleasing colors on the walls-have the
interior as well as the exterior, ornamental,
AMI male 50 attractive that people going into
them would feel as they do when they snter
a.. attractive chamber with bed in tp
40 you mean the deadF
"You know well enough refer to visitors
to the living"
gravely, "you have yet to learn, Eugene that
not all the religion, all the learning, and all
tho philosophy In the world can ever make
death other than death"
"But that is no reason why everybody
should make death SO horrible and grisly.
They make it CHASTITY, and in the same breath
tell you it is the way to Heaven. The way to
Heaven ought to be beautiful"
"Have you forgotten Pilgrims Progressr"
"a piece of rank plagiarism. The idea is
thousands OF years old"
"Why do we introduce discords in music"
"Nonsensel I'll name you q thousand
pieces-famous ompositions-without dis
cord, Eugene answered. 1.-THE fact is, the
world doesn't believe what it processes"
"Why don't you advocate cremations" re-
torted. "If your theory is correct, burn 'em
all up; burn the whole world, and carry
twenty generations in a watch charm"
A friend called upon Eugene F., and 80
lcited his counsel and services in a business
matter. 1t was responsible trust The
friend was going abroad TO remain for years,
perhaps permanently. He owned, jointly
with his sister, piece OF property near the
great oil belt. 1t might be worthless and it
might prove very valuable. What the friend
required was honest dealing. For himself he
did not care. He had great wealth,
but the invalid sister was entitled to
all that could be realized from her
half of the land. 1t was for Eugene F. to
discover the value of the land, and to exer
else his judgment in disposing of it. He un-
dertook the task with nl-concealed repug-
nance. He disliked travelling; had a horror
Of unaired beds and potluck. He went to
the oil regions In a bad humor. When he re
turned, great change was noticed in his
manner. month had worked wonders.
"Just think Of it," he said to me, when he
dropped in to shake hands in his CHEEKY
hearty way. II thought those 600 acres were
worth about IS an acre. At the end Of a
week was offered $4,000: in another week
it jumped up to $1,000 and finally lot it
go for $4Oo, 900, half cash, balance In three
months"
1t struck us all as a surprising streak Of
luck, and everybody put it that way, but
Eugene, who was a convert to the "Belt7 the
DRY, held it was simply a matter of manage
ment and business experience and sagacity