Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-12-28
BRIGHT BITS.

IT is said that "a man is a fool or a physician
at forty" Some are both before they are
twenty Puck.
1T is strange that professional humorists
will persist in making fun of the stovepipe.
To a man of experience the stOvepipe is no
joke.-Nea0 York Journal
SOMETHING sEAsONABLE: An old pun states
that Eve was created for Adams Express
Company, but an inspection of the business
done at the express offices this week will war
rant the opinion that the Eve referred to is
Christmas Eve.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
STRANGERS are surprised to see New Or
leans policemen in full uniform drinking at
beer bars with hoOdlums, and smoking cigars
on their beats while on duty. The New York
policeman sneaks around to back door to get
his smoke and drink; but he has some style
about him when he walks his beat.-Ne10
Orleans Picdyune.
1T was long after midnight, and the min
utes were clicking by like hours. 81 love a
graceful elm tree" she responded quickly.
+, ''dow l wish l were an elm tree" he re-
sponded quickly. II wish you were, too.''
| sfWhy do your" he inquired, with world of
! devotion in his voice. because" she replied,
: "trees leave once year, at least."-DrGke'S
Ma0dsfhe.
DUMAS, the elder. had an enthusiastic but
| EXPENSIVE cook, whose beef bills were the de-
light and despair of his life. "That was an
extraordinarily fine roast Of beef we had last
night at dinner" he said one day. ''What did
| it COST" Fifteen francs" Every good; it
! was excellent, but don't have any more. A
| fifteen franc roast Of beef is only seen at its
best on somebody else's table,"
POOR TUTOR: "Know you what do when 1
| hunger have? Then draw l at home on my
| slate with chalk white sausage. When l
| right severe hunger have, draw two. Then
drink once from my mug of beer, eat piece
| bread and rub from the sausage on the slate a
| piece away. Then drink | again, eat again a
| piece bread and rub again from the slate a
/ niece SAUSAGE AWAY. the last mOrSnl is.
| So picture / myself in l have the sausage
really eaten. Behold you, it is all only imagi-
nation in the world."-Flie0ende Bldtter.
MANY Republican papers throughout the
! country have begun to advocate Mr.. Blaine
| for the Presidency in 1888. 1t is with Mr..
| Blaine pretty much as it was with Garbaldi
McFod, Esq, who says: ut seems till me
| that, Whuther Pm on land or say, the wund
is alwuz in me face, 80 it dig. Av coorse, a
mon that walks in the sun mustn't axpict till
| be tanned; but be hevins! phen others are
| bud tanned wee gets burned up am0st. An
| av it's not wan thing with me it's another all
the tOlme."-SGn Frdncisco Nesos Letter.
CHRISTMAS VERSES
The sunlight makes
The buckwheat cakes
Upon the plate look like gold medals,
And then to keep
The plate a-heap
The cook is lively on her pedals.
Run, servant, run, smile sweet and don't be
hateful,
And on the table keep a plateful, plateful,
plateful-
They softly float
Down many throat,
On silent winglets of mOlasses,
And little Jack
His lips doth smack
And swift for more his platter passes.
Run, servant, run, and grease the steaming
And pile the nut-brown pads upon the tables
middle. Alfred TennysOR,