Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-05-21

sent the fuiiowing message to 1 brotber
10 the West: |" immense ioy--Wc xot
twin babies to-day more hereatter. Z
l 81 szEi' ! y ~
Is ncrvously prostrated.
What with Mr.. Barnum, Mr.. Fore
paugh and the two white elephants. the
current year presents most gloomy
outlook for the adjective department Of
Webster's Unabridged.
Said conscientious auctioneer:
Ladies' and gentlemen. there is no
sham about the carpets. They are gen.
une tapestry carpets. / bought them
of old Tapestry himself"
..Aiusic," said DR.. johnson, sis the
least disagreeable OF all noises" The
learned Doctor did not know every
thing. He never lived next door to q
cornet amateur or piano-banging
young lady.
Perhaps no man was ever more dis
turbcd by trifc than the reporter
who, concerning the appearance OF tho
belle of town at picnic intended to
say ''shc looked au fait," and found
the types had it ''she looked all feet. !"
At church sociable at Goshen. Mo-.
Miss DeLanl has been vosed the pret.
test woman in tho place and Miss Day
tho next handsoMest. Tho proceedings
might have been concluded by singing
| the hymns, ..There's De Land that Is
fairer than Day."-Rochesser Post-ES-
| press.
TIE papers are telling OF q lawyer
| who heard Macbeth" rchearsc.i. and
was struck by the answer Of the witches
when asked what they were doing: "a
deed without name" "Why. that q
void" exclaimed the lawyer, ..I'll
bust a deed without name in any
court in Christendom.
"Supe. supe." yelled the gallery
| gods, as supcrnumerary appeared
between the acts and began jerking VII
tho carpet. The super, an unusually
bright specimen. quickly replicd.
"Weil, you do look hungry. Guess the
soup societies must be shut up" The
calls suddenly subsidized. Philadelphia
Cal.
"This pail bought of you last week, -
said . customer TO Daacon G..pin
..leaked like SIN the first time put
water into H." .sYou amt been put.
! ting water in that pail. have youP''
! ..ssfisr- s,.-M ..,rl-.i: .--i-.s. -iAs'
ter. II you'd kept Il ,ur N that paii
You wouldn't had any trouble. "-4NGr.
athon Independent.
A writer on the subject OF whales
| SAYS: .sAs has aireadv been pointed
out, there are many points In the struc-
tural organization OF the cetacoan vis-
cera far more like those of he una ulaacs
than the carnivcres." Why would not
| this bs good suaiect for our Winter
debating societies .--.lNeio YarG Com.
n,efcsal ddvs,t.Ser.
We often see in an illustrated journal
n sp.oich Of black anu white caiicd "A
! S udy.n IL is thus called because it re-
/ auiras several days study to determine
whether the top or the bottom Of the
cut has got uppermost, and the conclu-
sion generally reached is that the artist
i was wrestling with the delirium tre-
mems when lie drew tic thing. Norris.
town Herod.
-f.
A couple Of pickpockets followed q
gentleman for some blocks with view
Of availing themselves OF the hrst op'
portunity to relieve HIM OF his purse.
He suddenly turned into lawyer
ofice. ..What snail We do now" asked
one. ..Wait for the lawyer. )" said ths
other.
Putting the names Of the streets o.
the street lamps is q good thing. Moon
= fighr niyi4s, If the 4sss -aet Light
! ed, by getting out OF the tram-car
. climbing the lamp-post, ana striking
. match, you may read the namo OF tn
: street distinctly. If the wind doesn'
blow out vour match.
A negro girl at Marcus, in jackson
county, Ga, has a curious delormit
in the way OF four feet on two extrem
tiles, the Two feet on each leg intcrscci
Ing OF crossing each other. Shoes a
most in the shape o: a cross are mad
for her foc,. She has twenty pcrfcc
! toes aud four distinct hcels.