Connecticut western news., 1884-09-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

Nhhh Aohonlng-tno pressure or "a pretty girls hand.
 TIE maiden's version: els this vanilla ice see before mo 2"
 THE physic that was thrown to the dogs must have consisted largely of bark.
 A BONNER who will buy and retire overworked dray horses is wanted in New York.
 THE Mormon question: "How much will 573 yards of dress goods cost al Sl. .6Sl a yard2'
 IN crime, as in horse racing, the fast ones come under the string first, if the judges do their duty.
 WHEN did Noah's wife represent one of the counties in New Hampshirop When she was rocking Ham.
 WHEN a man goes into store sad buys pocketbook and has it charged, the question naturally arises, "What can he want 1t for?'
 A MILWAUKEE druggist advertisea that the way porous plaster acts Is to retain the back firmly in place while the pain crawls ont between the holes.
 TE value of the photographs taken annually in the United States is said to be S3l ,000, 900. This seems a lasge snm in the aggregate, but the individual who is careful to sit with his hands and feet we'll in front is sure to get his moneys worth every time.
 WHEN Mrs. Pinaphor read that ''Foo Chow had fallen," she said this might be good news to those who liked the stuff, but she wouldn't buy the mixture if it were to fall to three cents a quart It is supposed the good woman was thinking of chow-chow.
 THERE is young lady who lives next door to Blogg's house, and while Bloeg had company the other evening she waa heard in her endeavors to extort music from piano. "Our neighbor's daugh. ter is a very good player" remarked Blogg affably, during a pause in the conversation. Her time is little slow" was the critical response of Bloggs caller, who happened to be connoisseur in music. "Yes," said Blogg, ''her young man is there, and very likely she has set the clock back. !"
 REUBEN sLEEK's LAooNros.
 "verily, 1t is not the knowledge which thee possesses, but the use which thee makes of 1t, that will give thee prom thence among thy fellow mon, said Reuben Saturday evening last, as his visitors gathered about him.
 "Thee can commit no theft which will be more certain to bring it's own punish ment than to rob thy stomach for the sake of embellishing thy person.
 "Thy most dangerous enemies will not always spring from beneath thy sta tion in life; the eagle descends from lofty heights. .to gather in its unlucky victims. By keeping on good terms with thy self thee will always be prepared to make the most of thy opportunities.
 "In grasping the right hand of the man who calls himself thy friend, thee will do we'll to assure myself that his left is not in thy pocket
 "verily, the only path to true happi- ness in life lies in keeping the magni. tude of thy desires in uniformity with the dimensions of thy purse.
 "Thee will often be called upon to ex- ercise true bravery in facing the world without disgusting thy identity.
 "The horns of a dilemma will somo- times toss thee into the lap of assured success.
 "The wise man never sits astride the ridgepole of his dwelling on a biting wintry night to publicly advertise warmth and comforts that exist within. "The brains of many men are simply attics for storing away the superhuoua odds and ends of daily life.
 "Thy words are the seed-corn of thy life and should be selected with exceed. ing care in view of the anticipated har- vest.
 "Thy lips will often be called upon to quaff the bitter draught which alone will possess the power to heal thy moral infrmitea.
 of thy domestic requirements arc set to the tune of the wash.tub thee should never run in debt for piano in the hope of supplying deficiency. "-Detnott Times.
 THE THREE rrsHERMEN.
 Three fishers went sailing out into the east, AL. lnat aaA ha
 was least;
 Joy sat upon each piscatorial mug, And they carried their bait In . ], u, 6, Jug. They cast in their lines with tho tide running
 out
 And they tauntod the Ash with hilarious
 shout;
 They hshcd until sunset, from bright rosy
 dawn,
 When their b, A, i, |, was s, O, n, c, gone. Whom homo they would sail, thorc was no
 W. d.
 So they had to row hard against the |, i, q, e, An oar is thing that no man understands, And they b, ], l, s, tered the palms of their
 hands.
 Now, safe on the shorc most devOutly- they
 wish
 They might go to q store and b, n, y, some
 Ash,
 And proudly each m, n, n, shoulders his rod And bears home string of smoked herring
 and cod. Oh, woo to the [, i, s, h, or, who brings As the prey of the angler, salt cod and such
 things,
 Or can of cove oysters, and swoars that he
 took Every oys, l. e, r, with line aud hook.