Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-01-10
HUMOROUS.

He HAD SOME FUN.-About 8 o.
clock yesterday morning man, smok-
ing plug tobacco in an old clay pipe,
walked out of Michigan avenue ho-
tel with rat in trap He looked
neither to the right nor to the left un-
til he had reached the middle of the
street. Then he placed the trap on
the ground and whistled for his dog.
If he had dog the animal did not
respond, but the public did. In less
than two minutes 80 men were rush.
ing to the spot.
"Hi therel Don't let him out till
get my dog" shouted one.
"Hold on! Wait for the dogs"
yelled half dozen voices at once.
keep cool and form a circle I"
commanded policeman, as he took q
irmer grip of his baton.
The man with the trap spread
large handkerchief over it and waited.
He was not a bit excited. On the
contrary, he was as placid as a chip
sailing in the wash dish.
"Whar' did We ketch him ?" inquir-
ed newsboy.
The placid man did not deign to re-
ply.
"What'll We take fur him 2" asked
another, but his inquiry was treated
with the same silent contempt.
Then four or five men came rum
ming up with dogs under their arms,
and ten or fifteen dogs on foot follow
ed behind. There was fight between
bull dog and Newfoundland, and
there would have been a row between
their owners had not a second police
man appeared Order was finally re-
stored. The dogs were arranged in a
circle and held by their collars, and
the placid man slowly knocked the
ashes from his pipe, looked carefully
around, and then raised the trap and
shook the rat out All the dogs made
a rush, but in ten seconds each and
every canine walked off on his ear
and seemed to be hurt in his feelings.
A boy stepped forward and held the
rat up to view
Its crockery rat!" he yelled as
he whirled it around.
eyes, it vhas a groghery radt, and
he cost me den cents" calmly replied
the placid man as he walked off with
his trap.-Detroh Free Press.
HEROIC Mr.. SPILKINs WISHING To
EARN A PENNY BY SAVING 1T He SHov-
ELS THE Snow FROM HIS PAvE-"No,"
said Spilkins to the small boy who
rang his door bell asking if he wanted
his sidewalk shoveled off, and who off
cred to do the job for a quarter. Spill
kins had just been reading book in
which lot of pernicious aphorisms a.
bout the desirability of economy were
set down, such as "a penny saved is
a penny earned, " "A groat day is a
pound a year." ETC.; therefore he said
to himself, II will save the quarter
that the job of cleaning my sidewalk
would cost, and do the work myself
Besides the exercise will be good for
me-" He told Mrs. S. of his resolu-
ton, and she, like all true wives in
these cases, told him that he was a
fool to think of such thing, and that
to do the work himself would be ten
times what it is worth. But Spilkins
has mind of his own, and he put on
his rubber boots and mummifed him.
self by means of long ulster, COM
forter and fur cap, and went out to
his self-selected labors. As he emerg-
ed from his door he struck piece of
ice on the top step and went into the
street flying and got lot of snow up
his sleaves and trousers legs and
down the back of his neck f; however,
little profanity relieved his mind in
this respect and he fell to work.
The job was harder than he antici-
pated, but he stuck to it, ana at last
went into the house again, bathed In
perspiration and triumph. But on sit
ing down to smoke, as was his custom
after anything particular, he found
that in his fall down the steps he had
ground to snuff three twentY-6ve-cent
cigars which he had in his pocket and
the next morning woke up with an in
fluenza which has given him the aspect
of the weeping philosopher and the
temper of bear ever since. He there
fore says that economy is fraud and
has thrown his book of maximS into