Connecticut western news., 1884-04-30
WIT AND WISDOM.

find if.
 Tm tallest mountain casts the deepest shadow.
 SENTIMENTS unite mon; opinions sepa. rate them.
 RELIGIONS are many and different, but reason is one.
 RELIGION is the universal instinct of the human soul.
 TIE old skin never falls off till the new one has formed under it
 AN onion is like bell. It's strength can be better tested when peeled.
 HE would be hard-hoarted indeed, who would Kick-npoo Indian. Chicago Sun.
 Ir takes a sharp man to get out of a flat when the fire is meandering up the elevator.
 IT is the feeblest moustaehe, as we'll as the siclSliost child, that gets the most fondling.
 THE Speaker of the House is generally called the chair, because he is sat down on SO often.
 THE primeval impulses of tho human soul have been essentially the same everywhere,
 To sooRS anything which a nations heart has held for ages holy is neither wise nor kind.
 IN our highest spiritual states the re. ward is in keeping the commandments, ,nf for kaaniney thsm
 HEAVEN, says Hindu Maxim, is palace with many doors, and each ono may enter in his own way.
 BELIEF in the immortality of the soul appears almost universally in the earliest records of human thought
 IT will not be many days until somo Presidential booms are knocked higher than the price of early strawberries.
 TnE men who write circus bills will be glad to learn that tho new English dic- tionary will be thirty-seven volumes long.
 IT was the descendant of an Irish king who remarked: "Heres to poverty, it sticks to man when all his friends forsake him."
 DIVERSITY of worship has divided the human race into seventy-two nations. From all their dogmas have selected one-Divine Love.
 ouR willingness to acknowledge what ever is good in religion foreign to our own has always been n very common trait of human nature.
 SOME one asks; "How long is a man a bridegroom2" Not very long. In majority of cases he becomes 'short" before tho wedding tour ends.
 WHEN n clothing shop gets on fro some of the clerks spring over coats and some fall over coats, and nearly every one pants when he gets out
 IT is true, my son, that the rolling stone gathers no moss, but then it doesn't want to. What good would a ton of moss do the rollingest stone that ever started down hillY
 IT is said that Grant smokes the stub of his cigar on a wooden toothpick. But it must be remembered that Grant doesn't get as many boxes of cigars by express prepaid as he used to.
 Ir may not be generally known, but the fact is nevertheless true, that the man who will beat carpet in the back yard is greater than he who stays down town until midnight talking politics.
 "No, sR," said the worldly young man to the life insurance agent, CT don't feel prepared to have my life in- sured just yet. do not earo to icel that I would be worth moro dead than ! am alive"
 Ira man wants peace to reign in the household he should count ten before speaking at times when he feels as if his clothes don't fit him. Aud on days when tho kitchen stove doesn't draw he should count 4S0.
 A WESTERN newspaper fiend assorts that down on Cape God the ushors at theatrical entertainments direct the peo- ple coming in to go the "larboard' or ''starboard" side of the hall, according as their tickets are numbered. EVERY man is the architect of his 3 own fortune, " remarked tho prosperous D man to a friond. "Yos,n was the reply, 3 "the architects plans are always beau- 3 iifully drawn, but what miserable fail. ures some men make in building after a them Y
 , A MINISTER suddenly stopped in his sermon and sang hymn. "lf the mem n bers of the choir are Co do the talking 8 he explained, "they certainly will permit !. me to do the singing" And then thing I in the neighborhood of the organ be 0 como more quiet. ,f A BUSINESS man in this city, on his way s home to dinner, stopped at a restaurant s and ate three plates of corn beef ana 1T cabbage and two pieces of mince pic
 He then went home and growled at hi
 wife because dinner was five minutes lato n Philadelphia caH }, Abb the minstrel companies are play [, ing the same old ''liar contest gag, il it which the boss liar wins thc contest b1 ), beginning his story "onoe there was al Ie honest lawyer" Couldn't they give u l. little change and still retain the s,a 10 lie by saying "once there was funn. 20 minstrel Y'
 a- "How SHALL eat an orange in eocis 't ty ?" is asked. Eat it in n natural am a graceful manner, and cndeavor to keol T. your eyes from hulging out as much a i' possible. Nothing looks worse at th
 table than the sight of a man erowdinl ,e an orange down his throat with both e ir his eye-balls half way down his check' " -Phila. Gull