Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-01-09
He Wanted to Go Home.
From the New York SUM-

Shortly after P. NJ, a long man came
over the bridge, and, on arriving at the
steps on the New York end, uttered a
shrek, and shot down to the sidewalk,
whence he coasted cheerily into thegut-
ter.
Thash a silly thing to do" he said,
after q moments deep reflection, CA
small cat would know better'n that"
Then he resumed his torn hat, put the
lighted end of the cigar in his mouth,
took it out and put it in his trousers
pocket, and achieved a position that
bordered upon the upright. Presently
his face expressed a pang. He thrust
his hand into his pocket, pulled out the
cigar, put it in his mouth, smiled, and
began to pick his way in a preverse and
labarynthic course toward the city hall.
Two small boys, with their chins de-
pressed, their shoulders bumped, and
their hands in their pockets, trudged
along the eastern edge of the park. One
of them stopped and looked at the man
who had just escaped perilous maze
composed of equal parts of bobtail cars,
eight-horse sweepers and milk tracks.
"Scotty,' he cried, in the clear ring
ing tones of happy childhood, "get on
to his logs wild the busted deer
They started toward the long man,
and, Selling him by the arms on either
side, conducted him with gentleness and
kindness to the sidewalk. The man, who
evidently saw eight-horse sweepers and
bobtail cars careering fiercely about him
on every side muttered his thanks and
asked them to start him towards the
Sixth Avenue cars. The boys started
him. They began with slow walk, but
increased the speed until the unfortun-
ate man was tearing along the eastern
walk of the park at a rate that bore the
impress of disaster in every frantic
lunge. Ice and snow as we'll as alcohol
and speed perplexed his feet. As he
approached the curb formed by the as
phalt piazza which runs across the park,
the boys gave him shove, and he went
sprawling over the edge and shot south.
Ultimatelyhe stopped. After consid-
ering things for awhile he struggled in
to sitting posture and looked at his
hat, which was about ten feet in advance
of him. At this point one of the boys
slid large and dripping icicle down the
back of the mans neck. The man evil
IDENTIFY felt the passage of the ice down
his spine and its subsequent Judgment.
He looked as though life was not worth
living. Then the other boy picked up
the hat, ran with it to the fountain, and
set it on one of the four corners. With
a snort Of rage the bedraggled and ice
hampered man plunged after his hat.
He fell four times, and when he arrived
at the fountain found that his hat had
been removed to another corner. He
pursued it until he had slipped and
struggled around the fountain dozen
times after the always-elusive hat, and
then brawny policeman came along,
seized him by the collar, and yanked
him backward with:
"Phat kind of an exhibition IL this
here, anyway? Y'oughter be ashamed
Nv yersel. On Sunday, too"
''Take me to bridge, pleash, moan
ed the man.
He was dragged there. AS he put his
arm around the bridge policeman's neck
he muttered slowly:
"Send-me-home-- in-the = carsh.
Observation-Disclosures. Lemgetoutfn-
work"