Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-12-12
OUR Il AIEIDOSCOpE


language are now and then foot short"
says II contemporary We frequently have
'em sent in II foot long.
a man went fishing in the Minnesota
river recently, and hooked large wall
eyed pike. lie began to play him, when
the fish, running under the boat, capsi2cd
it, got in himself and, putting ON the
mans OVerCOat started for New Orleans.
This shows the danger of going fishing in
a state where the whiskcy is strongerth
the veracity of the inhabitants.
An exchange says that it takes $4,000
gallons of perfume year to supply the
handkcrchiefs of British Indians. What
does our neighbor, poor Lo, think of
this
Who says IA woman can't climb An
old maid in Massachusetts saw dead
field mouse by the roadside, the other day,
and in less than forty seconds She was in
the topmost crotch of an apple tree, tuck
ing her skirts in ana peering around
among the branches for her spectacles.
y man died at Chesterfield. Maine, the
other day, from an overdose Of cider. He
was rolling a hOgshead of the native 1ev-
erage down cellar, when it broke loose
and ran over him. None of the cider was
spilled.
Three hundred medical students, armed
with clubs, recently marched into the
streets of Toronto, with the intention of
thrashing the police. y dozen policemen
routed them and captured the ringlead-
ers. Medical students are dangerous only
" l,-p.. Ia ha nil
box and meat saw.
y Georgia man was found in the last
stages of physical exhaustion and terror,
thrashing what he supposed to be snake
lying in the bed from which he had just
risen. When it was discovered to be a
switch of hair belonging to his wife, he
recovered without the use of brandy.
a Paris woman threw her husband out
Of the window, and broke his leg in two
places. We don't wonder that Paris is Il
great city for conjugal separations.
There is Il river in Australia called the
Darling. The girls love to wander on its
banks with their lovers, and converse upon
local geography.
y good oyster, if we'll fed, will lay l2s,-
100000 eggs in year. 1t must have three
meals day, however, and none of your
bread and butter and tea suppers.
a Massachusetts eating house was en-
tered by burglars, the other night, and the
safe broken open and ritled of its contents
No tools could be found, but pie with
several hicks in it lay near the safe, and it
is supposed that the burglars made it serve
their purposes.
Morning concerts are said to be all the
rage in London. That's natural enough
Nothing puts us into such a rage as an
early morning concert while it is still toe
dark to heave Il boot jack at the perform
erS.
A hangdog eXpression-"Put rope OF
the cur and string him up
An editor complains of "over-dressing OF
the American stage" Must be he doesn'
sit in the front row.
In Vienna the theatres open three hour,
before shutdown. The actresses, however
do not begin to paint until after the light
are lit.
A Michigan couple were married on
day and divorced the next She had buc
luck with her first pie.
Mrs. Ingalls, remarks that woman i
the silent power of the land She ma
be silent in politics, but at home-o
my
Gov. st. John recently refused the gif
of magnificent Newfoundland pup bt
cause of the propensity of that breed q
. dogs to pull people out of the water.
\ NasSar college girl has sent IA loaf ,
sponge cake of her own manufacture t
Mr.. Cleveland. Poor man, his trials hay
begun soon.
Stuck up Bostoners who elevate the
noses when they speak of "those countr
fled Nermonters," should be rcminde
that cows We're pastured on Boston con
mon as late as 1890.
Worth, the great Paris dressmaker,
coming over TO this country to lectur
We hope that he is not coming with an
t biassed views.
"See here don't you keep any wal
;. ers! ~ yelled II Disguised citizen, who Ia
been sitting for nearly,an hour in il resta,
= rant, waiting to be served. "Of cours
!; we do" replied the proprietor, blandl
i Haven't we kept you waiting loI
enough -
Dr., 1t is said that oysters will cure dyspe
t STA. That may be, but quart of oyste
!, costs about as much us a doctors visi
r and where there is II large family the oy
d tiers won't go round and the doctor will
u :, A paper is about to be started in the i
O terest of dentistry. 1t ought to be call,
;. The stump, for then there would be plen
e who would be willing to take it,,
a Scientists say that it is the female me
d quito which does the singing and bitn
$ From what we know of the sex in gene
Il al, we are willing to take the scientist
~ word for it,
4 Heir apparent-a wig.
&c Prof Nordenskjold is preparing an e
"a petition for the South Pole. 1t is not T.
|. late for b. Butler to secure Il steerage pa
l. sage.
:, When young couple west OF the Rocl
d Mountains run away and get married, I
1t sporting journalist alludes to it in Il
Lat nS Re Il