Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1884-02-01
COrns, ChiIblains, Etc.

Right Hon. Blackboard Scroggs re-
Gently addressed the Detroit Limekiln
Club upon the subject of corns and kim
dred annoyances, in substance as fol-
lows, according to a reporter of the
| Free Press:
FELLER NATIVES: My objeck in ar
rovin heah at dis pertickler time am to
discuss matter dat clusly consarns de
hull Guild race of dis kentry. De CON
seems to be carniverous, omniverous.
an mighty familiar on short notice. 1t
lies down wild de rich, gifts up wild de
poo, an stands right by you widout
strikin' fur higher wages. What causes
co'nsp In olden times de CON was sup
posed to be speshul mark of good
luck. De feller who could show six or
seven of 'em on one heel was made
gub'nor ober province allowed to
keep half dozen dogs. DE little bunch
was said to contain 4 pearl seventeen
carrots fine, an people went round
cryin' an lamentin' bekase dey had no
cons.
'In desc modern days we know
dat CONS am caused by tem-
porary suspenshun of dc circu-
lashun of dc. blood, mixed wild mo- or
less rcackshun. So fur as we know de
pearls found on de inside can't be used
fur fish bait, an am darfo' dead loss
TO de kentry. When you hear any one
gwine around cryin' you kin bet spot
ted calf agin a peck of dirt dat dey amt
weepin fur cons
abe chilblain differs slightly from de
con-" continued the orator, after drop
ping troche into his mouth. at
doin' bunch up an come to a head in
one pertickler spot. While de CON am
satisfied to cotch on to toe an hang
dar' fur month or two, de chilblain
comes purrin' round de heel, good
natured as an ole cat. 1t kinder tickles
ye fur day or two, an you step higher
an feel like taken your fadder out of de
poo'-house. But while you am wishin'
you could buy four hundred barrels of
flour fur four hundred wdders an orph-
ans dat chilblain begins to hunt around
fur mo- ground. Arter he kivers de
heel he creeps ford to de instep, skulks
to de toes, an fust you know you am
huntin' fur bute-jack an a currycomb.
He has come to stay all winter an late
into spring. You can't coax, hire nor
scare him away In olden days de chill
bain was supposed to arise from too
much brains in dc head. De man who
had EN- was considered sort of
double-ended statesman, an people
looked up to his heels as well as his
head. In desc times we know dat de
chilblain am ca used by sort Of spon-
taneous emblematical corrlscashun of
dc epdermis at critical period. All
dat brains has to do in de case am to
invent cure fur de complaint.
IL had intended TO disgress a few
translashuns on de subjeck of bunions,
bow-legs, sittin' down ON dog an
pickin' up hot cent in front of sa-
loon, but see de time allowed by your
rules am almost dspired. Let me add,
in conclushun, dat | am purvided wild
a box of knives, gimlets, draw-shaves.
pick-axes. acids, pincers an razers. to-
geder wild full supply of salves, plas-
tcrs, wax an SO forth. an arter de close
of dc meetin' shall be pleased to ex-
pertinent ON all members free of ex-
pense. will now remark: Cum soils
curaater pturibus Cicero tremens sinliii-
Jus Giaeral Jackson. and thank you for
your needless attentions to my unfeel-
Ing remarks"
n 4 : axak