, 1884-09-05
THE COMING NOVEL
Literature for tho Busy and Hollow
chested American
what Are We Coming to-TwO-VOl-
ume Homances u Down to
the Brevity of Phono-
graphic Phrases.


8R NeI1RHl
Prefacs-The American people are busy
and hollov-chested- People who are in q
hurry have no time TO waste over a two-vol
ume romance, and most everybody Is in q
hurry nowadays This Is what novel litera-
ture Is coming to.
pAULISE-A DRAMATIC REALISM.
Prologue in tho year 1s65-Pauline War
rington j. = wealthy heiress Tapped In luxury.
There Is aHiarently nothing in the way of her
union al.h Claudian. But o, the hollow
muck,ry II Appearances Under the rose
hush i, a -~erIent, invisible, watchingi The
,erpent /. "A man. His name is NJ. Trayzeno.
That h. i-a llaia is hardly necessary to re-
mark. lie had watched Pauline at first with
the gresdy eye OF love, and then with the
venom pf jealous hate, the acerbity Of gall
unlimited. II ~ simply this: Pauline has
reJre.ei Tim for Claudian. Aha II remains
only 'a wait undor the rosebush and plot.
". 1rAyzsno plots deeply. One night Claud-
ian Is found with a dagger in his heart Boo
oo-op.
Act Pauline Is the bride Of NJ. Truyzeno.
She never SUSPECTS and she has permitted
herself 10 love him. He will help her dis
cover ihe a sssiia of Claudian. All, hal
Act . -Fiub.
Act More Tub.
Act lit Is night. The wife awakens out
Of a deep slumber. What Is this visioni
Nightmare. No, e somnambulist. 'Tis NJ
Tray1-no walking in his sleep. What is this
he Is doingi He see;us to be STOPPING over
an Imaginary something. What glistens In
his hnndt a dagger Yes All. horrible
lie strikes; and then. Those words Unsay
thoe woi1's. Juaay them But, no; he re-
peats them. The dreadful secret Of years is
out. All, she "a upon him nowi Forgive
her; she is beside herself She knows not
what she does. Her hands close about his
throat. With superhuman strength she
drags him 10 the window. She lifts him
upon the sill. He wakesl His eyes roll back
in his head. One moment, one terrible mo-
inenfi He fallsi He throws his arms abou.
him like IA drowning man, and she-she, too
lights Quit G-O-R-El Gore. The end.
RON swLMoNGER's MAGAZINE.
Agnes loves Bullethead, Bullethoad loves
Agnes. Bliss. The stern parent objects 70
their union Gloom. They try TO elope.
Good. They are caught. Bad They try the
DR.. Tanner bushes To see II tho stern parent
won't relent. Awful suspense. VIII she
starve 10 deathi No: and the stern parent
does not relent. Obstinate man. At last
the lovers are alone together on a rock. very
high mp. 1t is for the last time. Their lips
meet in the last, long, quivering kiss. Is 1t
accident or Is it designf No one viii ever ba
able to tell. The stern parent approaches in
the distance. They are treading horribly
near the fatal preeipice. They grow dizzy.
Their arms are about each other. There
they are gonel Don't look, reader, for PHYS
sake don't looki They will fall down 'steen
stories and bust. The end.
THE LOST BRIDE
A young man had Just married IA beautiful
girl, and n party OF friends in the old manor
were assisting at Il "house-warming." One
queer old genius, whose name was F1ubdub
made n bot that he could hide himself where
nobody could find him. The bet was taken
and tn, old man finally concluded that he
had rather hide somebody else, and hid TIE
bride. He hid her and stood around in great
glee during their unavailing search. All OF a
sudden he was taken with commissions and
expired. The girl could never be found.
Mystery.
TO BE PAGD FoR.
There wa n hollow in two rocks next the
sea-shore. Two men stood there alone. They
were invisible from the land. There waa
only n vessel sailing of upon the blue ocean.
Suddenly one man detaches a large bowlder
from its place and holds it over his COM
panion's head. VIII he crunch himi II he
kills him be will die. THE continuation OF
this thrilling romance will be found In com
pany with the remains Of the author in tomb
No. 211 Of the New York cemetery.l
oNE-ACT TRAGEDY.
"Clarinda, will you be miner The speaker
was a young man, and the one he addressed
was a beautiful girl She burst into tears,
and he collected the water in a bucket. The
end
IT IS IL HERE.
They met loved, quarreled, made it up.
End.