The daily Cairo bulletin., 1884-03-25

summer heat, and-thcre you are
IsctS S3tiags.
A grocer sold an old farmer gallon
OF tar through mistake for molasses.
After discovering the mistake he waited
to hear some complaint, but, hearing
none, wrote to the Old fellow, who re-
piled ms follows: "Much obliged for
tue c'rcckshun, but it comes too late,
as all Of the stuff is done sopped up.
Wife she lowed that thar was suthcn
outen fix with the 'lasscs; but / lowed
she must be pregedist. "-ArkanSaw
Traveller.
A Clergyman in Durham, Eng, some
short time since taught an old man in
his parish to read, and found him an
apt pupil. After his lessons were fin
ished he was not able to call for some
time, and when he did only found the
wife at home. 'How is John?" said
he. "How does he get On with his
readingP' "Oh, nicely, sir" "Ah, |
suppose he'll read his Bible very COM
Portable now?" Bible, sir! Bless you,
he was out of the Bible and into the
newspapers long ago"
Miss Maria Pickaflaw (talking be-
hind her fan to her sister, The idea of
Dolly Debut's wearing that heliotrope
dress Miss Jane Pickaflaw-Why, it
strikes me as very becoming. Miss
Maria (snappishly) Becoming! OF
course! Did anybody say it wasn'tP
But don't you know it takes a faultless
complexion to wear that color, and for
Dolly Debut to appear in that dress is
as much as to say she considers her
complexion perfect. Miss Jane-How
very bold of her, to be sure
ApropOs of familiar phrase much
IN vogue among certain type of Amer
ican women, a very well known New
York lady, while travelling in Italy this
autumn, overheard some of her coun-
trywomen conversing in the cars. She
carried away this valuable critical
opinion, with others "And so you've
seen St. Peters?n "Yes; and on We'd
nesday the Pope. They're both so
nice; amt they Laura?" And Laura,
OF course, answered: "lndeed they
are. Just as nice as they can be!'
What are you doing with my boots
on?' Indignantly asked a high State
official of a colored gentleman. as
desc here yer boots, boss?" "Of course
they are" Oats mighty cuis.' Not
curious at all, you scoundrel You
found them in my room when YOU
cleaned up" "Wall, dat's mighty
cus. Yer ken hab de boots, sab, ef
da's yersef's." II wouldn't have them
now.' Den what yer wanter make
all dis great 'miration bout? White
foxes gittin wuss ebery day. De blame
boots too little fur me nohow. n-Ar-
kanSaW IrdUeNer.
In these days a girl will take about
twenty thousand pieces of silk of all
shades and put them all neatly to-
gether, and then embroider dainty
birds, and blushing flowers, and rib
boned tambourines, and airy lutes, and
ali sorts Of exquisite little conceits
upon it. And after this she lines it
with sky-blue satin, and puts a luxuri-
Gus heavy gold cord around the edge,
and when all this aesthetic object is fin
ished it is called crazy quilt. We
should think it was the girl who would
be c-azy.
How to look at picture" Pshaw!
Everybody knows how to do that. You
want to stop before the biggest canvas
in the exhibition and remark. "Ain't
it pretty? Natural, amt it? Wonder
what it is Cooking at catalogue). Oh,
yes! Sunrise. '" Just double up YOUR
list and see how it comes out, etc Then
going nearer: "Why, it doesn't look like
anything, does it?" Next rub your
hand over it to see show rough it is,"
and, after punching it with your cane
or umbrella, according to your sex,
pass it by in a weary way and wonder
what it's worth. '-B0St0n Transcript
You know, ma, that in Philadelphia
people always ask who ones grand
father was, and as | am going there
aoon you must tell me. Was my grand
father judge, or a governor, or
president, or anything?" well, no
NY ucul' IlC OtCdlHC NCI IICIl, tuOu9u,
and you may soy he had something to
Go with banks "But what was his
position or trade?" "Oh, never mind
about that "But those people will
ask me, you know" well, the only
trade he ever learned was shoe-mak-
ing "Shoe-making! Oh, well. he
got rich, SO that is all right Eyes;
he made shoes great many years.
He learned the trade and worked at it
in penitentiary, but you need not
mention that