The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-10-02
HUMOR.

IT was Massachusetts, jury that
rendered the verdict: @Died by the
hereditary visitation of God" The
man had broken his neck when drunk,
and similar mishap had befallen his
grandfather.
GIMLET-"By. the way, I was mis-
taken about Oleson." Auger-"In what
particular Gimlet-"lou recollect /
said he was Swedenborgian. Augur
Yes" Gimlet-"Well, he's Nor
wegian."
MRS. CLASSICAL, who has experienced
the pleasures Of the sea, wonders If
they are ever seasick when crossing the
Styx. If they are, she says she would
rather live forever than attempt the
passage.
PAssENGER-"Here, porter, take this
thing away" Sleeping-car Porter
"Why, sab, that's pillow" "A pill
low This little thing?" "Why, yes,
sab. What did you 'spect it WASP" IL
thought it was poultice."
The young man from the country and
his girl were drifting slowly into an ice
cream saloon when the following met
his eye: Vanilla, chocolate, lemon,
and strawberry ice-cream, $l.5O per
GAL" He turned and fled.
WIFE (anxiously)-"What did that
young lady observe who passed us just
now?' Husband with smile of calm
delightfully."-, my love, she observed
rather good-looking man walking
with quite an elderly female; that's all
Ahem!"
"MARY," said Mrs. Sharply to her
maid, "you really must put some sort
of dish out on the step to hold the
ice, so there won't be puddle of water
left there every morning" What dish
shall I use, mum ?" Anything would
do. Suppose you use teacup."
No." SAID the housemaid. Il don't
apologize to man when throw q
bucket of water down the front steps to
wash 'em, and he comes along and gets
drenched. I've tried apologizing, but
I've found there's nothing you can say
to a man will satisfy him."
WIFE-"What are you dreaming of,
John?" John Ga n ew York cashier)-
Il was not dreaming, i guess" 90,
yes, you were in regular day dream.
Were you thinking of your castles in
Spain ?" "Well, mol The fact is, was
wondering about the price of castles in
Canada"
SHE-"You say he couldn't straddle
the blind?' He-"Yes." She-"What
was the matter? Was the blind too
wide for him?" He-"No." She
"Was it defect in his legs?" He
mo. / believe the defect was in his
hand. "-Ne,c York Graphic,
AT the club Young de Philltoddle
Ito friend)-"Do you know that poor
Gabbleton has lost his mind?" Friend
Indeed He is to be congratulated.
Young de acknowledgements
How SOP" Friend-"It was the general
impression that he had none to lose;
but now he has corrected that error"
"GEoRGE," said South Side girl to
her beau the other night, "here is a
piece in the paper headed 'Kismet.'
What docs kismet mean?" "The word
must be pronounced with the silent,
Nettie," replied George. "Why, that
would be kiss me-" said Nettie with
the greatest pleasure, " replied George.
And he did.
INQUIsITIvE BoY-What do editors
have posts for, pa? Do they have to
be hitched up like horses? Pa-Posts?
They don't have posts, my son, although
some of them ought to be hitched up
undoubtedly. What makes you ask
such a queer question. L. B.-Why, L
have seen in lots of papers where it
said the editor of this paper is absent
from his post. PA mere figure of
speech, my boy, meaning his Office or
desk.