National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-01-05

secure happiness, while others have paroxysms
of delight thrust upon them.-Btsmdrce Ir'-
June.
\ generous young lady, having loaned
Sniliins $40 he declares that he has at last
arrived at an owe-a-sis in his life. There arc
people who would fetch puns all tho way
from the desert
Faint heart never helped fair lady.
The woman who hesitates is goose.
Be bold be bold but not too bold
To-day the mountain comes 70 Mahomet.
She would II ehe could, and she can.
Madame was in close conference with her
dressmaker. The waiting maid entered the
room and said: MADAME, the doctor is down
stairs" "rhe doctor! ] cannot sec him.
Tell him l am sick"
According to the Paris Temps woman
named Marie Girard, now living in the village
of Auborire-en. Royans, was born on March
Is, 1861, and is consequently in her 123d year.
She has been widow for ninety-six years.
How dreary and lone
The world would appear
II women were none
,Twould be like q fair,
With neither fun nor business there. -,
-Cdsitlejo.
A Duluth man was fined $l4 for kissing o
pretty girl, and ten minutes later he was
looking around for her in order that he might
cmbezzle another wad Of seraphic bliss at tho
same price. He regarded IL as away below
the market value of the goods.
Says Margaret Fuller, woman is born for
love, and II is impossible to turn her from 1t. J"
A man is never so much impressed with this
fact as when tho object of. his wife's love is o
sealskin sack or q fur lined DECENTRALIZATION
Transcript
A cynical old bachelor, who firmly believes
that all women have something to say on all
subjects, recently asked q female friend,
"Well, madam, what do you hold on this ques.
ton of female suffrage?" TO him the lady
responded calmly "Sir, hold my tongue.
The agreeable news comes from England
that Victoria Woodruff has been married for
four years to Mr.. John Biddulph, an English
banker, and that she is lost forever to the
American platform. It's to be regretted that
Victoria could not have been married for u
longer term, but four years is so much better
than she has ever done in bor previous matri
monial ventures that there Is hope that the
next time she may be swung Off for ten years
or life.
A Cleveland girl at school in New York
| had written homo to her father that she wa:
married and willing to DO forgiven. The
father forgave and welcomed home his chill
dren. By and by 1t came out that his daugh
ter had been party to practical joke al
her fathers expense, her husband being {
schoomate of her own sex. The father, hav
ing started in the forgiving business, did NO
turn backward but married tho husband
himself, and suggests that in giving hi
daughter q mother-in-law he has got eyen.'
A newly arrived emigrsnt in America, il
soliciting work, stated that he wanted thu
money he hoped to earn to send home to Ire
land, where" he added, 1--WE wife ant
seven children, and never saw one of them
This seemed such bald and stupid lie tina
tho person to whom he was making applica
tion for work angrily exclaimed, How dar
you to tell me such stuff? How could 20,
have wife and seven children in Irelan,
without ever having seen ono Of them ?
Because your honor, tho one | never saw
was born after sailed for Ameriky."