The Palatka daily news. (Palatka, Fla.) 1884-1888, 1884-04-04
The CIabber Club.

me ClaDDer SluO.
The club held a called meeting last
night in the sanctum of THE NEWS.
Judge Vertrees presided with Gov.
Towns on his left. On motion of Spike,
duly seconded by truthful Jeames, Capt.
McGrow was duly elected member.
After the usual ceremonies of initiation,
the Captain made speech which electri-
fed and charmed the audience, bringing
tears from the stony eyes of our F. F. V.
by his pathetic reference to 'Old Nir-
giny."
After the applause had subsidized the
president rose and informed the club that
one of its lady friends had sent down
tureen of clabber, and that the same
would be placed on the table when or
dered in by the club. Gov. Towns
moved that the clabber be discussed i'm
mediately, because the dish was now IN
! the press-room and his extensive Observa-
tions of human nature had not taught
him confidence in the honesty of printers
where eatables were concerned. This
hint produced panic, and the club re-
solved itself into a committee of the
whole and marched in procession to
bring in the clabber The chairman pro-
ceeded to expatiate on the various and
manifold virtues of milk in general and
zclabber in particular, while he sifted
from his fingers the exact quantity OF
sugar necessary to give the rich culver
ing mass its proper degree of sweetness.
On investigation, the spoons were found
to be one short, and Spike armed himself
with the office dipper. The hostilitiei
had been in active operation for some
time when Capt. McGrow announced
that he had just discovered that the stuff
was realIpgood, and he rose to a point o.
i order. On being recognized by the presi
dent he wished to know if the rules O
the club allowed one member to mOnOpo
lie everything as Spike was doing will
: his dipper. He then related the ancien
} Joke about duck who sCOOped in thu
= corn so fast that the chickens were
starved. When he assured us that thu
t happened in Virginia the tears Of sympa
+ thy again started to the eyes of Orchill;
ROYAL, and he made a long speech IN de
=. tense of a motion which the Captain hat
e never made. At the end of this he wa
n so surprised to find the Clabber all gOn
that he Immediately impeached the presi
n dent on the ground that that he haC
:. showed nepotism in distributing the su
, gar and tried to expel Towns because hi
mouth was too large. Both motion
:; were lost and the gentleman subsidized
D Capt. McGrow then attempted to prov
l. by the rules of Euclid that he was Vii
= ginian and a locO-fOcO. A motion tina
e he be so considered was carried by
d large majority with Royal alone in til
negative. Towns then rose to inquire {
e the chair as to the nature, qualities an
possibilities of a lOco-focO. Jeanne
{ shouted to the gentleman that it We
90 Seminole for alligator, upon whic
Sc Towns smiled widely CHASTITY grin, an
a the chair bowed and gravely fined til
Is gentleman a cigar for disOrderly conduc
The fine was promptly paid, and peac
II reigned again as the club transacte
" some private business pertaining to tt
p initiation of the new brother in which
r. large bottle made prominent figur
On motion a unanimous vote of thanl
was returned to the fair purveyor of tt
10 feast and afterward, the club adjourne,
while the chairman drank the whey
: his perqui-site.
m Ubi mel, ibi apis.