National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-01-29
MIR. LANES TESTIMONY.
Tho Humorous Features OF n Christian
County Ull.) Trial.


Chicago Netcs.
Tho other day tho villagers attended
Squire RandalPs court en- masse. Lige
Brown was on trial for assault and battery.
Lemuel Lane was the principal witness, and
his testimony was almost equal to Sam Well
ler's, when he was trying to make out Mr..
PickwiclS's "allerbi."
"Mr. Lane" began States Attorney Miller,
"where do you livoW
81 reside, sir on Tige Branch"
snow, Mr.. Lane, go on and tell in your
own language what you know, If anything
about this fight"
"Well, sir you see in the first place, Lige
married Hammer, and Hammer and Kate was
standing in the door at the timo. The old
woman was in tho back room. She didn't
sec the fight at ALL"
what relation have the old woman, and
Hammer and Kate, got to this case? Go on
and tell about the fight"
why, sir, they amt got no relation at all.
Hammer and Kate is just daughters on their
mothers side, that's all; and the old woman
was in the back room at the time. She didn't
SEQ the fight at ALL"
"Well, 20 on now and tell about the fight"
Eyes, sir, was just coming to that. You
see, the way the thing occurred was this {:
The old woman was Grattan. There was a
large family of the Grattans, principally all
boys and girls, and then the old woman
swore as how Lige shouldn't have any of the
corn. Riley he was at home sick at the time,
and the old woman she sent this great big
Bill Scott confound him."
Hold on Just tell US about the fight, and
nothing else"
eyes, sir. You see, in the first place, Han
per and was standing in the door, and
there would have been fight, shore, gentle-
men, il Kate hadn't q told Hammer that Lige
NuOul1 hill Gnntt aud bai1 dana II Tor
| tlemen."
Don't tell what Kate said, but tell what
you know about this fight" exclaimed the
| now exasperated attorney, and the crowd
Uttered at his anger, while tho witness pro-
ceeded:
ayes, sir, thank you. Well, in the first
place this great big Bill Scott-excuse me,
jedge-he was dressed for a ball, and there
| would have been a fight shore, gentlemen. il
Kate hadn't told Hammer to take Lige Off n
Scott"
Don't toll anything Kate said. 1t isn't
proper" growled the states attorney. 'Tell
US about the fight"
"Oh, there want no fight. You see, in the
| first place. Kate and Hammer was sisters on
their mothers side, and that's why l say they
was standing in the door at the time. You
know Lige married Hammer, and"
Eyes, we know that" interrupted the states
attorney, as he glared ferociously at the wit
ness. you just tell what you know about
this difficulty"
"Well. you see, in the first place, Riley and
Lige-you know Lige, jedge 7-he married
Hammer. Riley and Lige, they are sons OF
Nicodemus Brown. Riley was sick in bed Al
the time, or there would been one Of thu
worst fights you ever yet SEEM"
"Never mind Riley; we want you to tel
what yon know about this trouble" said Mr
Miller.
"Of coorse, of coorse, was just coming to
that. Well, you see, in the first place, that
| this old woman, she owned tho land, and she
sent this hornery Bill Scott, d. excuse
me, jedge--she sent him around to lick i ige
and the very first lick Lige struck him he
unhinged both his jaws, and the next lick hi
hit him he knocked him clean over into the
third row, and there would have been fight
shore, gentlemen, if Kate hadn't told Han
ner-you see, in the first place, Lige married
Hammer and -"
That's all you can stand aside" declared
States Attorney Miller who found that was
the only way Ofshutting Off the witness.