Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-05-11


Business men sometimes find IL very
hard to write even q simple three-line
advertisement in q strict technical
phIaseology, which is the only style
allowable in newspaper columns, and
some houses employ clerk especially
for this work. Others leave il 10 the
publisher TO see that IL comes ont in
good shape, and often the best talent on
paper is brought into reqnisition TO
write oHt the virtues of patent Inedi-
cine In sufficiently Mandatory manner.
Not long ago man stood absorbed in
thought at the counter Of newspaper
office in this city. He was writing some
thing on scrap of paper, and "a friend
passed him he caught at him as drown
ing man catches at straw.
"Give me word, /" he exclaimed.
Certainly" said bis friend: what
kind Of a wordf"
"Oh. anything you can think oft
doesn't matter what"
How would coilaborate dor
"Couldn't be better. Thanks, ever 90
mach," and he inserted the word and
handed In the advertisement.
The next morning the friend read:
70 parties dssirous Of going TO collabor-
ated housekeeping"
Punctuation, or the want of it. is re-
sponsible for many OF the strange ad-
vertisements We read. Take thess, for
instance:
WASTKD-A woman able and ilIine
TO wash iron and mil three COWS"
"WANTED-By German girl Just
landed in private family situation
with or without children"
WASTED-A man to play the organ
and boy to blow the same"
WAsTKD-A boy 10 milk and NOV
lawns"
Some rather singular announcements
have appeared In one OF our city papers
thus:
"A large blue gentleman's overcoat
lost In the vicinity Of the Market"
Rooms TO rent with all modern in
eonvenienoes."
WAsTED-A comfortable roon for a
young man four feet by ten"
A Detroit paper gravely announces in
To advertising columns:
"To RxNr-An elegantly furnished
room to gentlemen already heated"
Among the artistic advertising are the
following notices:
"Two young women want washing"
+" Wood and coal split"
Teeth extracted with great palms,"
An cheerful advertisement Is this:
TRY our collins. You will never use
any other"
In the Washington Evening Star there
recently appeared the following sugees-
tive advertisements
The prayers of Gods people are most
earnestly requested for the thorough pu-
rification Of young church, whose pas
Cor and officers are invetsrate tobacco
users, much against ths wishes of lis
members"
This cool advertisement appears in
London paper:
"Alady wishes TO recommend another
lady who, through no fault OF her own,
has become In distressed circumstances.
thinking that II 1000 benevolent per
sons we're each 10 subscribe $40 10 would
place her again In afiiuent circem-
stances"
In looking over the pages OF q daily
paper, one Ia impressed with the great
number OF lost dogs. II would seem a.
IL there must be large community Of
them somewhere, for Il IL very seldom
they are returned 10 their owners. And,
no matter how ugly they are, they are
always described Is heAuties, and the
family nuisAnce becomes the family pss
AZ soon ~ he Ia hopelessly lost.
SAD ApvxRrfsHMESrs.
Then there are the wives--poor things
who are advertised a.
Having left my bed and board with,
out pFovocatieu." and the pablo il
/" forbidden to harbor her at nv expense,
a. will not pay any debts OF her con-
tracing"
A sad species Of advertising il that We
meet almost every day in the columns
OF the newspapers:
"FoH AporrroN-A sweet little rirl
baby, 9 months old. Must be taken al
once.n
This seldom fails 30 elicit an immedi-
ate response from the charitable and
kind-heersed reader, 10 whose teuderesi
sympathies Il sppeals.