davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09
How The Old Folks Kept Tavern

How The Old Folks Kept Tavern
From the Chicago Herald.
mo, can't say that I've had a
prosperous season" observed one pas
senger to another. Last spring me
and my old woman thought we'd keep
summer boarders and make some
money. We have big house, able
to accommodate eighteen people be-
sides our own folks. So we writ to
our sons and darters in the city, tellin'
'em what we had decided on and ask
in 'em to say good word for us to
their friends.
"Well. we fixed the old house up in
fine shape and waited for our board
ers. purity soon my darter Mary came
down from town with her friends about
us. In about a week darter EN- came
with her four children. She said the
same thing an though they wasn't
profitable boarders we hoped for a
new kind an felt much encouraged
from what they told us. The next
arrival was my wife's sister Sal and
her two nearly grown up children.
L was a good deal discouraged then,
but my old woman braced me up by
sayin' some payin' boarders was
comm, and we could 'commodate six
more anyway.
The next arrival was my other
darter. Eunice, with her husband and
two children. They all settled down
as if they lowed to stay all summer,
an I was purity badly broke up about
it. / told my old woman things was
getting down to fine point an not
much left of the garden truck. She
encouraged me by sayin' we still had
room for two boarders an we'd charge
them enough to run the whole house.
Two days after / saw strange man
stop an 90 in an l thought luck had
turned at last and killed two chickens
before / got to the house. When L
did get there / discovered he was my
brother Jim, who hadn't seen for IL
years, come to spend the summer with
me. That settled me on the summer
boarding business, though the old
woman said we still had room for one
boarder, and by making the hired
man sleep in the barn we could take
two, an that would run the house.
"When I come home from work
the next night my darter En- met me
on the porch and said, smilingly !;
"Father," SAYS she, "we've got two
new boarders. They came this fore
noon. Come up stairs and see them" "
swat till / dress up bit" says L.
SO washed, put on a clear collar, an
feeling a good deal encouraged, went
up stairs. There was all the girls and
INV old woman. Papa, says she.
with tears in her eyes the house is
fall at last. Eunice has got twins. ,
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09
An Extra Judicial Harrangue.

Judge McCown one of the ablest
"carpet bsggers" who came to Arkan-
saw and assisted in the experimental
work of reconstruction" was, in
many respects a remarkable man.
He had distinguished himself at col.
lege had taken first prize for an essay
on "The Origin of Common Law"
and, not inconsistent with such achiev.
ments, had acquired an appetite for
the most potent drinks to be found in
the Deighborhood. Shortly after his
arrival in Arkansaw he was elected.
BY the hurried method which then pre-
vailed. to the Office of circuit Judge.
His decisions were political rather
than legal, but he was man of such
unexpected epigram, such quaint con-
ceits and such peculiar humor, that
his rulings instead of giving offence,
often created amusement.
One morning, while court was in
session in Camden, he entered the
room covered with mud and dripping
with water. Taking his seat On the
bench with violence rather than with
dignity, he opened court, and when
every one bad become quiet, he turn
ed to the clerk an said:
''Mr. Clerk, enter a fine of five
hundred dollars against the mayor of
Camden. This morning the court ate
his breakfast as usual-soda water
and soft boiled egg-and started
toward this place with a view of dis
charging his accustomed duties. He
had proceeded but a short distance
when board, comprising treacher-
GUS part of the disgraceful sidewalk.
flew up, and struck the court in the
countensnce, knocked him down, and
still not satisfied, wallowed him in the
mud. The law of humanity demands
that the mayor should have had good
sidewalks put down and the ignorance
of the law will not free him from the
blame. Enter fine of FIVE hundred
dollars, Mr. Clerk"
"Your Honor" said the city attor-
ney, who happened to be present: 81
do not think that the mayor is amen
able to the law of humanity, as you
term If. He had doubtless taken no
cognizance of the loose board"
"Mr. Clerk" said the Judge; s'enter
q fine of seventy five dollars against
the city attorney for not thinking
that the mayor had taken cognizance,
and also an additional fine of one hun
dred dollars against the mayor for not
taking cognizance.
81 protest against thls," exclaimed
the attorney.
"Mr. Clerk, enter a fine of fifty
dollars against the city attorney for
protesting. This court wishes to saw
he is tired of being slapped by boards
and outraged by swamp lawyers.
This court has been in the state of
Arkansaw nearly one year, and as vet
has failed to see a sober day. Why
is this 2 ask the freckle-faced sons of
bam-strung civilization. This court
would modestly reply that it is on &C
count of hurriedly made whiskey.
The American do stake time enough
in the preparation of their liquor"
"That amt the trouble, Jedge,"
exclaimed an old squatter who had
been arrested for selling whiskey with
out license.
"What is the trouble, siri"
"W'y, sab, the 'Merican folks drinks
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09
UNPARALLELED

With each number of DEMOREST'S
MONTHLY MAGAZINE will be given q
full-size fashionable pattern of any size or
style selected, making twelve patterns dur
ing the year, or value of over three dollars,
besides the most popular, entertaining and
useful magazine. Single copies zoe yearly
81. Address w. JENNINGS DEMoREsr.
IL East Fourteenth Street, New York.
11-23 6t-s.12t
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09
DIR. w HI TIE r,
R1H g. rh.pI.. 2<rnAf

Treats all forms of Veneral Diseases, Semi
nah Emissions and Sexual Debility, witt
unparalleled success No matter who failed
call or write; : Amphle. or consultations free
Can refer to the medical profession in a.
paris Of the Countu.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09
neEKeep This in Mind.

pTKeep This in Mind. In the Dia-
mond Dyes more coloring is given than in
any known dyes, and they give faster and
more brilliant colors. Ten cents at all
druggists. Wells, Richardson & Co., Bur-
lington, VT. Sample card, thirty-two col
ors, and book of directions for two-cent
stamp.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09
A Blessing.

Said a good sister in her testimony
at camp meeting: "My husband
opposed my coming to this sacred
spot, but / can truthfully say that in
coming here have received bless
ing, and l know that when / reach
home my husband will get a bless
ing"
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09

Heart disease has brought many to an
untimely grave. The heart is as liable as
other organs TO disease if you have it
even in the slightest form use DR.. Graves,
Heart regulator. 81. Der bottle.
The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-09
THE EVIL OF 1T.
Burdette Relates Chapter from
Herbert Thorpe's History.

Herbert was the son of an only
mother, and she was a widow whose
husband was dead. He was a young
man of rare promise, and still rarer
fulfillment, He graduated at college
with brilliant honors behind the bat,
the envied idol of his nine. Life
opened itself before him voluntarily,
like sick oyster. But alas in an
evil hour-say about halt past early
in the morning-the tempter with a
small tive might ray a. C. t., in fact
came upon him.
He became a slave to the foe of
young men, the d. ID.
Not the ID. D., who breaches to
large and fashionable congregation.
Oh, no. The other ID. D, the Demon
Drink.
He weakly yielded the tn the fasci-
nations of his Daniel Boone compan-
ions-Thomas and Jeremiah, Bill
Yards and the rest of the boys.
90, shun the glass" pleaded the
fair young girl who liked him.
A few weeks ago We would have
said loved him, but since Bulwer's
love letters were published anything
of that kind is to awfully-the am
monia, please.
He said he never used the glass.
He was shaved at the BARRIERS, and he
wore a fiat scarf that hid his flannel
shirt and didn't have to be tied.
ely the tempter," said his pastor.
But he said it was all he could do to
fly little kite for thirty days, and he
wasn't very fly, anyhow. And with
this brutal and heartless Jest which
in his better moments Herbert Thorpe
never would have uttered-the white
haired cid pastor went away and
crawled under lonely tree and died,
some thirty-eight years later, of ex-
IRENE old age and starvation, brought
on by two donation parties in the
same week.
"Do not trife with it," begged bis
friends.
And Herbert Thorpe stood up and
uttered the proud sentence with which
this sad chapter opens.
1t the chapter Is any sadder than
the people who read it, it will shed
enough tears to wet down all the paper
for this issue OF the able and infiuen-
tial journal you are no" peruslng with
intense dellght-now Is the time to
make up clubs, subscribe at once and
avoid the rush at the doors-why, oh,
why longer delay-tlme MES and
money is eight per cent-send for cir
cular and see prospectus In another
column
II can drink 1t or let It alone, he
said proudly.
Couid nef
we shall see.
. .
A space of period has elapsed, or,
perhaps not so long as that.
Herbert Thorpe enters the palatial
bar-room, where the sitting odors of
decaying cigar stumps, stale tobacco
smoke, and sawdust and cheese sand
witches, and the human breath divine
lure men to ruin,
81 can drink i, or can let it
alone" he whispered to himself, as he
ordered what he wanted, and suggest
ed to the gentleman behind the bar
the propriety of hurrying up the same
That gentleman shook his head with
the frmness and immovable conserva-
tism of the Bartholdi fund.
Drinks are cash." he said.
And Herbert Thorpe turned sadly
raging In his parched throat.
He tIot IT alone.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15
NOTICE OF APPOINTMENT.
Estate of abraham Messerley, Deceased

THE undersigned has been appointed and
/ qualified as Executor Of the will Of Abra.
ham Nesserlsy. late Of Monroe county. decd.
Dated this a4th day Of March, A. D. 1894.
aprl, 's4s3. W, I. HURD'
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15
An Editors Marrow Escape.

81 wish very much you would settle
this little bill" said bill collector, walk-
ing into the sanctum OF an Austin jour
nalist.
The editor glanced fearlessly at the
document and exclaimed:
Little bill! Why, man. alive, this
bill is nearly twice as much as agreed
to pay for those trousers. You must
come down City per cent and then per
saps I'll pay It next SPRING
.'We can't do that. The legislature is
in session now and we have a good deal
Of business with them: we calculate that
only one man 10 two pavs. go for that
reason we have to make out the bills for
twice the amount ss.ss 81. !.
'Then just regard me as one Of the
men that don't pay"
'In that case you will be placed in the
same category with members of the Leg
islature." ~ as
The editor seemed absorbed in
thought. Finally, he heaved great
sigh, and murmuring: 81 wouldn't do it,
il 1t wasn't for nv family" He pulled
out large roll OF bank notes aud pick
ing out five dollar bill, handed it over
to the enemy and thus prevented stig.
ma being placed upon bis reputation
Tesas .S1tiags
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15
Hot Water Remedies.

Halls Journal of Health publishes
some interesting facts relative to hot
water as remedial agent. 1t says:
There is no remedy Of such general
application, and none so easily attaina
bile, as water; and yet nine persons in
ten will pass by it In an emergency to
seek for something OF far less efficiency
There are but few cases OF illness
where water should not occupy the high
est place as remedial agent.
A strip OF flannel ora napkin folded
engthwise, and dipped'in hot water aud
wrung out, and then applied around the
neck of child that has the Group, will
usually bring relief in ten minutes
A towel folded several times and Dip
ped in bot water, and quickly wrung and
applied over the seat of the pain in
toothache or neuralgia, will generally af-
ford prompt relief. This treatment in
collie works almost like magic. l have
seen cases that.h resisted other treat
ment for hours yield to this in ten min
utea There is nothing that will 50
promptly cut short congestion of the
lungs, sore throat or rheumatism as hot
water when applied promptly and thor
oughly.
Pieces Of cotton batting dipped 10 hot
water and kept applied to old sores or
new cuts, bruises aud spralns, is the
treatment now generally adopted in hos
pitfalls. | have seen sprained ankle
cured in an hour by showering it with
bot water. poured from a height of three
feet.
Tepid water acts promptly as an emet-
ic, and hot water taken freely BALI an
hour before bed is the best OF ca
thartics 10 the c,se Of constipation, while
it has most soothing effect on the
stomach and bowels. The treatment
continued for few months, with proper
attention to diet, will cure any curable
case of dyspepsia. sd
Headaches almost always yield to The
simultaneous application of hot water
to the feet and the back of the neck
1t is an excellent plan to record facts
like these in note book, which should
be always at hand when wanted In the
anxiety caused by accident or sudden
illness in the family, one becomes con-
fused. and is not apt to remember quick
ly what should be done; hence there
may be prolonged an unnecessary suffer-
ing before remedies are applied.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15
toDn.snuedfrom las. .ssea)
How Watch Cases are Made

This process of Manufacture was invented
BY james Boss, who started in business in
1854, and the methods and tools used in
making these watch cases are covered by
patents. This is he, only vateh case made
under aa process. For many years the in
PRODUCTION Of these goods was slow, owing
TO popular prejudice against "plated" goods,
but gradually the public learned that the
james Boss Gold WatcA Case was not
cheap gold-UasAed or elcctro-plated article,
but was made of genuine gold plates OF
standard quality and thickness. Conscientious
adherence to the discrimination to make
the best watch case .crer PIT on the market,
and the adoption Of every improvement
suggested, has made the James Boss Gold
Ratch Case the STANDARD. ,,.,r u px
In this watch case the parts Q Q
most subject to wear-the bor, erorn, hinges,
h.sm5-catches, etc, are made OF SOLID GOLD.
sesa cont tap K.y,.sss watch Cas-, Ysessrs rhis-
delpha fa Illustrated showing hos
Ssnes Bsss and Ksyrtsne Watch Cases ars made
t7o be sontisued)
sugi4,'8sY.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15
some Advantages Of a Wet Spell.

Gid gum shoes can be worn out. OPP
portunities for trading cotton for ailk
umbrella are numerous. The lungs can
be thoroughly tested, and if they stand
it can be warranted for the rest Of the
year. New methods of keeping the feet
dry and the conscience clear (of swear
thoughts) can be invented. Poems OF
welcome to the sunshine can he prepared
in advance, Anticipation Is always bet
ter than realization. New and powerful
adjec,ives can be invented to describe
the state of the weather and the effect it
has upon the system. Corns ache, ms
laria thrives, the "hypos" get the best OF
you, the liver lies dormant, food tastes
foggy and you feel reconciled to the
hereafter, no matter what they may be.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15

The editor Of the Caledonia MINI. J
Argus writes: "Was there ever purer
Hibernicism than the following card sent
to my paper for publication by the be-
reaved daughter Of an Irish subscriber |:
"A Card-To the kind friends and neigh
bors who gave US their assistance and
sympathy during the death Of our moth
er We only wish to be able some day 10
return the compliments,
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15

Pure blood helps To make q clear con-
sc'encs: Hoods Sarsaparilla puriies
,6s .blSod. Enough said. Send us .
big bottle.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-04-15
Aaxartisine Rates:

HLeesl advertisements charged at the rate
Of one dollar per square for first insertion, and
Nfty 6ena fbreach Subsequent lnsertien& -
ldhi1istrstofsot ot Executofs. Attachment
and Rssd Nofdes. - %. IkFAEf
Local Notices. pet hne. first insertion. 10
sents. and fvs cents per line for each additional
week. FSy
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-07-25
Quarter to Twelve.

A somewhat romantic story, in
which well-known young lady who
resides in the Eleventh Ward, and
whose first name is Hermie, is the he
rOine, and young man named John
is the hero, came TO the ears of the
Pittsburg Leader reporter The lady
referred to is now married, but at the
time the story opens, on last New
Years eve, she was a blooming maiden
whose affections up till II O'Clock of
the night in question were unpledged
to any person. The story goes, and
its authenticity is guaranteed by subse-
quent occurrences, that the young lady
had made remark shortly before the
Christmas holidays that any young
man of her acquaintance who at n
quarter to II o'clock on the night Of
December 81 would make proposal of
marriage TO her. she would accept.
When she made the remark in tho
hearing of one or two Of her acquaint-
ances she was under the impression
that sha never would have TO make
good her promise, as she had not the
faintest idea that any person would be
visiting her house at that time Of
night. The remark made by Miss
Hermie came to the ears of two or three
young men from different sources.
They did not acquaint each other with
their intentions, but they must have all
been of the same mind, as $3.50 o clock
on the evening in question found three
of the maiden's admirers in the parlOr
| of her home. During the casual con-
versation they had among themselves,
they found they were all there for the
same purpose, namely, that of remain
ing till 1l:45 o'clock, and then propos-
ing to their young hostess. She knew
of this, and was in dilemma as to
how to act, but plan occurred to her,
and she determined to state it to the
young men; so she arose in their
midst, and with sweet smile all the
while, said: Gentlemen, am aware
of the object of your visit here, but as
can't accept all Of your offers of mar
riage, the best way you can do is to
match pennies, and the winning one is
to remain here till the time comes for
making the proposal, which | said
would accept" This plan was carried
out, and John was the lucky one, and
at quarter of an hour before the big
bell rung out tho old and in the new
year he proposed, was accepted, and
just little over two weeks ago John
and Hermie were married, the two
losers of the penny matching game
acting as the best men.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-07-25
In the Hammock.

drive or stroll through the sub
urp9 Will show how generally the ham
mock has come into use as an adjunct
OF outdoor comfort There is scarcely
q dooryard or piazza of any preten-
SION without one or more of these
swinging couches. Rightly placed and
hung, the hammock affords the very
luxury OF repose and our people have
Hone well to borrow it from their sum-
mer neighbors, whose climate and
temperament are so conducive to the
cultivation OF a genius for repose.n
But rightly hung does not mean sus-
pended in a cramped situation, with
both ends equally elevated. This is
the way to put up swing, but not
hammock, unless it be intended simply
to sit in. For reclining purposes tho
head should be higher than the feet.
a good rule is to fasten the hook for the
head of the hammock six feet, three
inches from the ground or floor, and
the lower end three feet, three inches.
The distance between the two should
be eighteen or twenty feet, though tif-
teen feet will answer. The longer
rope should be on the bottom end, as
this makes swinging much easier and
more agreeable.
For outdoor use, when two trees are
not available, the hook for the head
may be fastened to the tree or the rope
tied to it, and post set in the ground
at the required distance at the lower
end. In this manner, shade can be
secured though the lounger be the
pQssessor of but single tree. The
fastenings and the rope should be
strong and secure beyond peradven-
ture; and If the hammock is to be used
by young children, it should be hung
very near to the ground, that the in
eyitable tumbles and spillings may be
as harmless as possible. The closely
woven hammocks are best, as they
do not catch the buttons nor wear out
so quickly.
For an enjoyable and healthful siesta,
or for summer reading and day dream
ing, this couch in the air. is prefera-
BILE to all others. For the purposes of
Irritation or courtship-if the latter
old-fashioned word be applicable to the
modern fashion of wooing-wo have
not observed that any hints or direc-
tons are necessary, The hammock
lends itself to the graces and natural
wiles of woman, and adapts itself to q
young mans fancies with facility that
suggests its origin in the land of Ian
guors and of love. It's unitarian ends
are many, but it is nevertheless essen
italy thing of beauty and luxury
Boston HeruR.
The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-07-25
How They DO 1t In Spain.

"lIavo you any objection to my tax
ing light from your cigar?" asked a
gentleman of his chance companion on
the rear end of a horse-car the other
day.
mot the slightest" was the reply,
as the gentleman addressed passed the
required light.
81 know that some persons say that
it Injuries a cigar to light from it"
said the first speaker, put if it is care
fully done | don't think there is any
harm done"
at is really the proper way to light
u cigar" said the other at is only
in this part of the world that any such
idea as you speak of prevails. Here, if
you ask n man for light, the chances
are ten to one that he will pull out a
handful of birthstone matches and offer
you one, but it is never done anywhere
else. In Spain they make quite q for
NAL matter of asking for light. The
gentleman who wishes the accommoda-
tion approaches the smoker, removes
his hat and says viii you favor me
with light from your cigarP' or words
to that effect. The gentleman address
ed also removes his hat, then carefully
brushes the ashes from his cigar and
presents it with Il bow. The other man
accepts it with an equally elaborate
obcisance, lights, returns the weed, and
both bow again, wish each other good
day and depart, 1t it is often done 50
here, of course, but generally the
height of politeness is for the man who
is asked for 4 light to strike match
on his boot or some other convenient
part of his clothing and offer it to the
other with the birthstone burning away
furiously. If such thing should be
done in Spain it would be almost GER
tain to result in duel. - Boston GiOJe.