davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
FUN.

Horse dealer: "Why do you want
To sell that pretty colt He is not
broke yet, is hel Owner: No but
| am.
A French critic, after seeing Mary
Anderson in London. said that She
suggested an American punch made
of holy water
1t makes the laudlady mad to hear
one boarder remark to another, while
rising from the dinner table, Nov,
Jim, let's go TO restaurant aud get
something to eat "
In a town in Kentucky, a lady
found the proprietor in store so
sound asleep. that she thought he was
dead, At first it was supposed he was
a retired night Waterman and imagin-
ed himself back on duty, but inquiry
developed the fact that he didn't ad
vertise.
That's not what Imeant. respond
ed the professor In ancient days
knowledge was confined to a few
learned men, but nowadays almost
eyerg donkey knows as much as a
professor " The students looked at
each other, nodded, and whispered,
That's so. IS
There is funsy story current chat
while Carl Schurz was editor of the
New York Evening Post he had a
piano placed in his sanctum In the
intervals Of editorial composition he
would play music expressive OF his
emotions at the time. Godkin, who
is an lrishman, would sing Wearing
of the Green and EILEEN ALBANIA. ~
in opposition to 2Ir Seizures Watch
ON the Rhine and "Traumerei, and
between them they drove White. the
editor-in-chief, nearly crazy Finally,
Mr. White poured molaSses IN the
piano and left the window open, SO
that Godkin caught cold and there
was peace,
Poor relation: III didR't know but,
as you were refurnishing the house,
some of the discarded articles might
be of some use to me, if you was only
of a mind to Rich relation: why,
certainly I'm glad you spoke of it.
We are going to re-paper the dining
room III send you down the old
paper when its torn OFF, 1t isn't bad
ly soiled
A Western critic says that in Carrie
SWANS new play the pathos comes in
where she turns a back somersault.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
Grecley's Remarkable Appetite
New York ord

Charles Gayler the dramatist, Gen
Sheridan, and others were discussing
Horace Greeley over a bottle Of Wine
at the Union Square Hotel, when
these two stories regarding Greeley's
remarkable appetite were told for the
first time within my recollection:
Charles Gayler-I was dining at
Windust's many years ago when
Windust's was the downtown resort
of ali journalists. Dana, Briggs, Gree
ley and | sat at one table and talked
and Toasted. Windust used to serve
salmon served up IN some peculiar
manner, and also corned beef and
cabbage with plenty of grease. and
both were favorite dishes with Gree
ley. He had run through the whole
bill of fare, eating heartily of every
thing put before him, and ending. as
we all thought except Windust, with
a boiled dumpling for dessert. But
when Mr.. Greeley had finished this
last course WindUst came to the table
and asked isn't there anything
more you'd like to have, Mr. Greeley ~
Yes, answered the old philosopher,
you may give me some OF lldJ sal
mon and another cut OF corned beef
and cabbage" And he ate the second
plate of both
Gen. Sheridan was stationed at
New Orleans when Mr. Greeley came
there on his tour when candidate for
the presidency. The old creole resi-
dents gave him a dinner, and to make
it rs fine an affair as possible each Of
the many hosts was laid under con
tribution for some Of the rarest wines
in the cellar When dinner was an
nounced and the halfsheil oysters
had disappeared the waiter appeared at
Mr. Greeley's seat with a plate
Of beautiful shrimp You can
take them away, he said
to the waiter, and then he ad cd ap-
ologetically to the Mortified old French
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
lie Wanted Room on the Religious
Side Of the House.


a tall, fine looking gentleman ar
rived at one Of the leading hotels yes
terday afternoon. He registered, and
as the clerk was looking over the
room board, and the porters were
looking after the gentlemans bag
gage, he addressed the clerk as fol-
lows
II wish, if you please, that in as
signing me to room, you would use
some discretion, and place me, if pos
sible, on the religious side of the
house"
The clerk stammered little, looked
at his diamond pin, rang two or three
bells nervously, coughed, fum5led
blolter on the desk, and said he did
not quite understand what the gentle
man was driving at
"Well, my dear sir, the last time /
was here you gave me room on the
worldly side Of the house. To be frank
with you, think was put between
well, two poker parties, and | heard
nothing all night but the rattle Of
poker chips If you have a religious
side of the house, Just give me a cot
there. To some men poker will take
the place of sleep. ! am not one OF
that kind. 7
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
The COLOR Line In Liheria.

The tendency among the negroes is
to draw the line between those of pure
blood and mulattoes. They have had
trouble Of this kind in Hayti, and it
crops out here in the south to a great
err or lesser extent during every polit-
zeal campaign. 1t has become the con
trolling issue in the politics Of the
Republic of Liberia. The constltu-
ton Of that republic erects a bar
against all men OF white blood They
cannot hold office and are restricted
in their rights Of citizenship. The
black negroes now propose to bar out
the yellow ones.
J. J. Roberts, Liberals first presi-
dent and the George Washington Of
that country, was defeated when he
last ran for office on the color issue
He was very fair, almost white, in
fact, and a native Of this country.
The Liberians now have a black pres
ident, who is native Of Africa, and
the mulattoes are given to understand
that they are not wanted. Very few
mulattoes can now be induced to go
to Liberia the disposition being to
let Liberia be purely black repub-
lie.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
GLEANINGS.

New Orleans recently had a baby
show, with Do infants on exhibition.
The FIRST prize was won by a 7-moAths
old baby that weighed 30 pounds
An Australian invention lately
brought to notice is a method of
adapting a saddle to various horses
and securing a good fit by having a
saddle pad inflated with air.
Prof Ball. the Astronomer Royal
for Ireland, in an address on comets.
considered that the meteoroidS seen as
shooting stars in 1866 were actually
the remains of the tails of comets.
Druggists are cutting rates, it
is said, and the prices of patent
medicines are dropping like thermom-
eters in spring time Three cents
worth of mixture in ten cent bottle
can no longer be sold for a dollar and
a half. The price now is n dollar and
and a quarter Philadelphia Call
w. I'll, Vanderbilt says he never
puck up 3 newspaper that he doesn't
see something disagreable in it about
himself. Lend me half dollar old
fellow. There's nothing disagree
able about that We might have
asked for dollar and half. bat
this paper is disSimular, so to speak
Merchant Traveller.
A hcadlesS corpse, much mutilated
by fishes and alligators, was thrown
up by the waves at Palatka, Fla, the
other day, and was finally identified
Inv b III Ia
small articles, was f0and in his vest
pocket, powerful magnfyng glass
showing the name OF w. Bright writ
ten in ink upon H.
The planting of cocoanut orchards
IS beginning to be regular industry
in Fijuee and some other South Sea
Island. The trees are planted about
twenty feet apart, and after three years
can be- left to themselves. In the elgth
year they begin to bear fruit, and the
average yield of an acre ut present is
worth not less thau $1,000
A wash of one part nitric acid in
ten parts OF water will impart a stain
resembling mahogany TO pine wood
! that does not contain much resin.
/ When the wood is thoroughly dry
shellack varnish will impart "A line
polish to the surface A glaze Of car
mine or lake will produce rosewood
finish A turpentneexiract,o alkanet
root produces a beautiful stain which
admits of French polishing Asphalt
um thinned with turpentine makes an
excellent mahogany color ON new
wood.
Kit Carson, over whose grave the
Grand Army propose TO erect a
monument died at Fort Lyon, Col,
in the spring of 1868, and in accord
auce with his dying request his re
mains we're removed TO the cemetery
in Taos and were Inferred in a lot IN
the American Cemetery selected by
1 himself Carson's grave is surround
ed by picket fence five feet by nine,
and has over it a wooden semblance
of monument without aivisibley word
or letter upon it, Tins wood work is
rapidly rotting away and will soon
entirely disappear
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
A CYCLONE.
\ Frightful and Disastrous CysIene
in the South.

The Courler-J ournal's Loudan Ky.
special says a terrific cyclone. the Sc
verest ever known in that section OF
the country, passed near that place
and Pittsburgh, two miles north OF
Loudan, about o'clock yesterday af-
ternoon, carrying death and destruc-
ton in its train, especially at Pitts,
burgh, where it was the severest. The
Methodist church was RACED to the
ground, and muce other property
damaged at Pittsburgh. john Hail
man, brakeman, was blown from a
freIght-boX and carried about fifty
feet, lighting on his head in a creek.
breaking his neck and causing iustan..
taneous death. Three freight-boxes,
two coal-oil tanks and a caboose were
blown from the track, slightly iniur-
ing Others and OBTAINING the south
bound mail train five hours. A little
cabin, in which Mr.. Broughton was
living, was blown down, instantly
killing Mrs Broughton and two little
children. The following persons are
thought to be MORALLY wounded
Col. G. A. Stringer, both legs broken,
cut in the head; Mrs. G. w. Stringer.
hip smashed Robert Rulings, spinal
column broken, cut in the head Miss
Sallie Golf, cut in the head James
Warren, two ribs broken, wounded in
the head. Among those slightly
wounded are w. Woolsey, William
Phillhot, Mrs. Thomas Ross, and 9th
ers whose names are not learned.
The following are the estimated
damages to property; Pittman Coal
Company, store and house, So, 600,
Laurel Coal Company, store and
house, So, 600; Peacock Coal Tip, house
and store, $1,000; T. G. Stringer &
Co., store and house $1,000; Thomas
Ross, residence, 5000; George Ander-
son, residence, $1,000; w. Golf, resi-
dence, $500; NJ. Hopes, stable. $780,
Peter Mccain, residence, $500; John
Pittman, hotel and steam mills, 81,
600; Methodist Episcopal Church, So,
600. Over 100 men and their families
are without homes and employment
by the dreadful catastrophe.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
@@HUM9R.

A tree that won't keep shady ~
Congressman Tom Ochiltree, Nor
ristown Herald.
No, said a sinner; have read the
Bible all / want to. It's too personal.
Philadelphia Call.
There are a few ignoramuses left in
the world. One of them asks us il
this Greedy search party is going in
search of Horace Greeley Boston
Post.
4 contemporary heads a column oil
Washington items. Naval Intelli-
gence, but as they say nothing about
$40, 600 being wanted to repair a
$4,000 vessel, they can't be very
trustworthy.-New York Graphic.
A Chicago editor says "To polish
windows simply breathe on them and
then rub briskly with a napkin We
wouldn't like to have a Chicago editor
breathe on window belonging to us,
He might break it, -Philadelphia
Call
General Mcclellan, with a sly
twinkle in his eye, leans gently over
to Pendleton and says suggestively
George, when they speak of the ''old
ticket do they mean you and me?'
A book agent struck crowd at a
country hotel whileit was waiting for
dinner which was late, and in less
than three minutes he came flying out
of the front door a more total wreck
than the Green back party Boston
Post.
1t may be a little late in the season,
but we want to give our gardening
friends bran new and strictly relia-
Bile method of making a hot bed in a
short space of time. This is the way.
Apply lighted match to the straw
ticking. oil City Derrick.
A country editor says: I'VE are
living on the tolNnost current Of pro
family He has queer taste Why
in the dickens doesn't he move? An
editor can offer no reasonable excuse
for living in such a swearful current,
when eight-roomed houses are renting
for SIS per month.
f. friend sends the following, but
says nothing about where the an
sWers to the riddle are to be sent: A
young man who had difficulty with
the father of the girl regarding the
proper time to quit the premises, adj
mits that, although the old man is
past fifty, he still has the fire Of
youth in him.
A poet sings;
Her lips were SO near
That what else could do
Her lips were 50 near, etc,
Confound it man. you should run like
sixty. The law will not regard it as
defense if you had any possible show
to get AWAY from her
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03

creole gentleman who presided, Il
never eat insects of any kind" Later
on, soup was served, and at-the same
time a glass of delicious white wine
was placed at Mr. Greeley's right
hand He pushed ii aside quietly,
but not uLobserved by the chief host.
40 you not drink wine!n he asked.
No answered Mr.. Greeley. II
never drink liquors" rs there any
thing you would like TO drink with
your soupf' the host then asked, a
little disappointed, "lf you've got
it, answered Mr. Greeley and it
isn't any trouble, I'd like to have a
glass Of fresh buttermillS. Mon
Dieu ~ said the host afterwards in his
broken English, re idea of electing
to re presidency a man yot drink but
termilk Wis his saupfn
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
1.-THE MORRISON BILL"
The Democratic Congressman Held "A
Caucus on the Question.

Caucus on the Question.
The democratic members Of the
house Of representative held a caucus
on Tuesday evening on the tariff bill
of Morrison Mr. Morrison offered a
resolution endorsing the bill reported
by the ways and means committee.
In explaining the resolution he said a
full opportunity would be given to
offer amendments to the bill when it
came before the house, A long dis
cussion followed the offering Of the
resolution, which was participated in
by Morrison, Eaton, Converse, Black
burn, Randall, Hopkins, King, Morse,
Cadet, Reagan, Rosecraus, Tulley,
O'Neil, (Mo), Macadoo, Wilson wv,
va, Warren, Dorsheimer, Hutchins,
Hoblitzcll, Holman, Nichols, Sardema,
Black, Sprggs, Adams a. W, and
Bland.
The resolution offered by Morrison,
was adopted by vote Of III 70 81, is
as follows:
Resohcd that the bin commonly known as the
Morrison tariff bill shal,be taken up Tor cOnsd
GRAFTON at the earliest practicable day, and rea
Bonable time for debate allowed thereon and
after such debate that a bin De passed for the re-
duction OF duties and war tariff taxes
This, before adoption, was amended
by Hopkins and Morrison by adding
the following,
Resolred. Further. that the adoption Of this
resolution shall not be considered binding in con
trolling the individual action OF democrats ex.
cept 10 the extent each member may feel that be
ought 10 be influenced by the expressed opinion
o. the majority o. bis associates
MIR. Carlisle then offered the follow
ing resolution, which was adopted, So
to 81;
KeeOiUcd That In order 70 reconcile conflicting
opinions and secure legislation reducing taxation,
the plan for the reduction OF taxes At the present
session Of congress shall embrace a provision re-
paaiiug all Internal revenue taxes on the tobacco,
SNUFF and cigars and special taxes connected
Herewith and also reducing the taxes on brandy
distilled from fruit b. 10 cents per gallon; provid
ed, such repeal and reduction shall not be made
except iu connection with reduction Of the tar
IN duty
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
A WONDERFUL WIDOW.
over Hundred Years Old and Count
ing Sc Living Descendants.
New York Star

The oldest person in this vicinity,
and one whose age is beyond dispute,
is probably Mrs Sarah Wilkes Banta,
who celebrated yesterday her 102d
birthday. She was born in this city
on st. Patrick's Day, 1882, and was
the youngest but one of SIX children,
almostall OF whom lived to nonogenar-
ian ago. One brother IS now living
in Michigan at the age of 3d. another
was a former member of the Cana
dian Parliament, and was 90 when
he died, and his SISTER attained the
ago of 90.
Mrs. Banta has ffty-six living
descendants, three of whom are her
children, twenty-four grandchildren,
twinty five great grandchildren and
four Observation-Disclosures. For
sixty years she has been q widow,
never having REMARKED since the
death of her husband in 1924
In an old family Bible of the date
of1741. minus one of the covers and
ancient and thumb-marked, is the re-
cord of Mrs Bahta's birth, as well as
the dates of the births, and in some
cases of the deaths likewise, of the
nine children she bore. The first
name is that of Mrs Eliza Coles, who
was born eighty-one years ago on the
9TH Of June next. She died over
twenty-five years ago, on August IS,
1861, having reached the age of IS
years. Five of the nine children were
girls. Six of them have preceded
their mother TO the grave, the young
est but one, daughter, having been
buried but two weeks ago at the age
Of 67.
There was no celebration of Mrs.
Banta's birthday yesterday by her
relatives. as the ldlady was confined
0 her bed and too i'll to bear any
rejoicing or hold a reception. On the
occasion of her centennial birthday,
two. years ago majority of her des-
cendants We're gathered around her
and a grand reunion was held. Then
and likewise on her 99th birthday size
appeared at her best. OF medium
height and build, full cheeks, dark
gray hair. and in almost the full pos
session of her physical as well as
mental faculties, she did not look a
day over 76. Able to travel up and
down two flights OF stairs three times
daily to her meals and to 60 through
the steps of 4 jig for the DELEGATION OF
thecompany, she displayed an activity
of mind and body exceptional IN one
so old. For twenty-five wears she
had been without teeth, but her gums
had so hardened that she was able to
eat ordinary food the same OF others.
Her eye-sight and hearing were good,
and only her memory was slightly de-
fective. Still she had fund Of re-
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
Got Him a Goblet.
WasII-ngfon Hnlcher

There is a new waiter in the House
restaurant, and yesterday when Rep
resentative Blackburn went down to
get his lunch, the waiter brought HIM
the bottle and regulation whisky
glass Mr.. Blackburn glared at the
waiter and then at the glass, and final
" blurted out
Don't you know who | ann
No, sir, replied the waiter
j am a senatorele from Ken
lucky, replied the Hon. joe
Prom Kentuckw CALCULATED the
waiter. "Oh, ] Deg your pardon sir y
And be quickly brought the Ken
tuckian a goblet.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03

When the Keifer Boynton commit
tee sent TO the Treasury department
last week for a few official papers,
they were very much surprised to have
the venerable Secretary come TO the
commlttee-room in person to deliver
them, duty which could have been
performed by any messenger or clerk,
as no subpoena had been issued for
anybody. Apropos Of this a gentle
man who Aoew about this habit of
his, nversing with him one day, re
marked
"Mr. Secretary, see you do every
thing in this department except one
thing"
Whats thatl' said Mr. Folger.
"Why, you dontun the elevator
said tke gentleman.
That is about the only thing he does
not do
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
Not Posted.


M. Benton, just home from the
ball, to his wife:
1T is a pity, my dear, you were moi
well enough to 60
Pm better now, thanks aud you
can tell me about it. Who wer.
there3'
ooh, all the people we know"
Were the ladies handsomely dress
cdr
Yes"
Were the dresses decollette2"
Well, really, love, cant say.
You see there was 80 little goods be.
tween the belt and the neck, that
couldn't tell whether they were de
collette, or bombazine, or some other
stuff, and a man can't tell from the
aubdubs on the skirt Of dress, what
the material IT,
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
A MYSTERY EXPLAINED.
How Mexican Revolutionary battles
Are Fought.

A few miles beyond Victoria we
had the fortune to witness the term
nation of Mexican revolutionary
battle. There We're several hundred
engaged on both sides, armed mostly
with old flint-lock muskets. Queen
Anne arms, blunderbusses, horse-p is
tolls, etc, and they were stationed SO
far apart that their shot did each 9th.
er no damage, the most OF the bullets
cutting up the ground midway be.
tween the contestants. We got into
the midst of them before we were
made aware OF the fact by being hail
ed by an officer, who demanded our
passports, and as these documents had
been fixed all right at Victoria. ne
declared them to be regular, and af-
ter this treated US with marked con
sideration.
He invited us to accompany him.
saying that he would conduct us TO a
place of safety in the rear of his for
ces, where good view Of the whole
action could be obtained. The belig-
erents soon began to fire again, and
after each volley Of bullets they would
send another of vile epithets and
oaths, and the two different sets of
missiles were equally effective, ex-
cept in the case OF poor old woman,
who was hit with stray bullet and
slightly wounded.
| asked why they did not reduce
the distance between the armies.
charge upon the enemy and put them
to fight, or do something besides
stand there and waste ammunition and
call one another vile names. The an
swer was that the opposit party was
composed. of very valiant men, and if
a charge was made upon them they
would not run away, but would think
nothing of killing any of the assail-
ing party; and that was a catastrophe
which they seemed to think should
be avoided IN warfare. And then
again the revolution now Ia progress
had sadly split up families and many
OF the men ON one side had friends or
relatives on the other, and they
feared the consequences Of close
fight
This explained the mystery. 1t was
Just little family quarrel about who
should govern them, and how he
should do it, and, though they all had
their preferences. still they did not
wish TO shed each others blood about
it. 1t reminded me of what a Mexi-
can had said to me in regard to the
American soldier as a fighting man.
He said that the Americans did not
know how to fight; that they were in
the improper habit of rushing right
on to their adversaries and sticking
bayonets into them instead of stand
ing off and shooting as they ought,
and as other nations did, who had
received a better training and were
more civilized
He said it was this that caused the
Mexican army to run away from them
at Buena Vista and other places They
would not stand to be bayoneted; it
was not the way to fight. Another
thing about the Americans, and it was
the worst fault of all, he said, that
they would not give up when they
had been fairly whipped, Santa Ana
said of Gen. Taylor at Buena Vista,
that he had whipped that id Yam
kee General five times that day, but
he did not know enough to be aware
of it, and that it was no use in fight
ing such man as that
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-04-03
Claim Against Garfeld's Estate,
Toledo loA Blade


1t is a matter of talk in Washing
ton that Rose, who was private secre-
tary to Garfield until he was removed
to make room for J. Stanley Brown
is about to enter suit against the Gar
fisld estate for a balance due him on
salary. The amount claimed is about
$1,000. 1t is said that Rose has two
or three letters from Garfield acknow-
lodging his Indebtedness, but saying
that hs did not at that time have the
money to settle. Rose has had some
correspondence with Mrs. Garfield on
the subject, who has not been dispos-
ed to pay the claim IS its justice was
not altogether clear to her; a few
DAYS ago she proposed to have the
claim arbitrated, promising to pay
whqtever amount the arbitrator
thought was right. This Rose declin-
ed 10 agree to, and will bring suit for
the entire sum claimed by him.