Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-04-04

!. VOL XI.
TRIBUNE TWlNKLE1.
IT IL officially announced that Ellen Terry
has great loye for the fine arts and hesh
buttermilk.
A BLACKSMITH ought to be able to forge
ahead, Philadelphia Gall. How ironical you
are in your remarks. ~
Rev. THOMAS BACON is going to Germany to
visit friends, but will wisely enter the empire
under an assumed name.
LILLE LANarRY is in St. Louis this week, and
It is rumored that she is going up to Jefferson
City to see Gov Crittenden on official buss-iness.
IT is said that Jumbo and the white elephant
never speak as they pass by. There is no ff-
teenth amendment in the elephantine constitu,
ton.
FIFTY buildings were unroofed by storm at
Denver last Thursday. An avenging providence
was no doubt looking for party by the name
of Tabor.
BARNuM's white elephant is said to be of .
ruddy complexion. It is probably modest
elephant and blushes when in the presence OF
strangers,
4 A VERMONT. minister is making clerical
iskick" because his parishioners eat peanuts in
church. They evidently regard his performance
as regular circus.
JOE Cook says the American paragraper is q
heartless fend, and the American paragrapher
says that Mr.. Cook is a. But profanity is not
allowedin this paper.
THE Detroit Post now sends toy pistol to
every contributor of spring poetry. How
strange that a suffering newspaper world never
before thought of this.
A MILWAUKEE girl predicts q tidal wave in
Lake Michigan on the 10th OF June. Some
girl friend in Chicago has probably written her
that she will take her annual bath on that date.
Il A RUBBER firm in New York is manufacturing
b sea serpent for Long Branch. The temper.
tance element made such vigorous war on the
bid style of aquatic snake that it has been abol-
ished.
New YORK bellies are now taking lessons in
whistling and it is said to be real interesting to
see bewitching damsel at mirror practicing
Ion condensinp a six-inch mouth into three
inch pucker.
= A YOUNG woman in Ohambersburg, Pa, has
been appointed, deputy sheriff, and when che
goes up to young man and says, Il have an
attachment for you" he doesn't know whether
to smile oontentedly and blush or run like
Z ssixty.
A MISSOURI minister advertises that he will
take garden truck in exchange for performing
the marriage ceremony. Very few, however
will waste their truck on misery when they can
get q whole years bliss from weekly newspaper
on the same terms.
A BULLDOG belonging to st. Paul man who
has eight daughters died the other day, and the
medical fraternity held meeting and passed
resolutions of respect to his memory. Then
they opened subscription and raised money
enough to buy the father another dog.
ONE of our citizens has named his dog "Otto
Won Bismarck" and the poor brute feels so dos~
pondent over it that he has seclu led himself and
refuses to associate with other dogs. He lies in
his kennel and silently weeps from morning till
night.
THE Sultan of Morocco has inst married his
lOOOth wife. This is little more enterprise
than We had looked for on the part of blasted
heather, and almost causes the thought that our
own beloved Mormons have no style about them
at all.
PHILADELPHIA CALL: Some French scientist
announces that a bee can pull thirty times as
much as horse in proportion to it's size. A bee,
no doubt, can pull good deal when it feels
like pulling, but it is probably more at home
and less embarrassed when pushing.
In the spring the fruit tree ranger
To the rural district HES,
And fills the honest granger
Full of double-acting lies;
And the lightning rod assassin,
With the patent gate outlaw,
Can be heard incessant gassin'
With athletic, active jaw.
NoRR1srowN HERALD:-Mrs. Mary Booth says
that the great advantage which man has over
woman in the struggle for existence is pockets
Man discovered this fact long ago. For instance
a woman can get up while her husband is asleep
and go through his pockets in about two min
utes; but it takes man nearly half q day to
find his wife's pockets. and his labor is reward
ed by the discovery Of q torn glove, a recipe for
making oyster fritters, a wellseasoned chocolate
caramel, soiled pocket handkerchief and a hair
pin. -
IN WINTER TIME.
CHICAGO, 1884. g
The chill, crisp air of winter fans
Into her cheeks delicate
Rose-red, a. soft as notes from Pans
Lone flute where shadows wait.
One small blue e-mittened hand close clasps
v,y,akornno1 addeooao1.