The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-02-08
A. Real School Master.

1--WE had about as emery and triflin'
\ crop of kids in Calaveras County thir-
ty years ago as you could gather in with
4 fine-tooth comb and brass band in
fourteen States. For ways that were
kittensome they was moderately active
and abnormally protuberant. That was
the prevailing style of Calaveras kid
when Mr.. George w. Mulqueen came
there and wanted to engage the school
at the old camp, where l hung up in
the days when the country was new and
the murmur of the six-shoOter was heard
in the land.
George w. Mulqueen was slender
young party from the effete East, with
conscientious scruples and a hectic
flush. Both of these was agin him for a
promoter of school discipline and square
root He had heap of information and
big sorrowful ewes.
$50 fur as I was concerned, didn't
feel like swearing around George or
using any language that would sound
irrelevant in ladies' boodore; but as
for the kids of the school, they didn't
care blamed cent. They just hollered
and whooped like passle of Sioux.
"They didn't seem to respect literary
attainments or expensive knowledge.
They just simply seemed to respect the
genius that come to that country to win
their love with a long-handle shovel
and blood-shot tone Of voice. That's
what seemed to catch the Calaveras kids
in the early days.
George had weak lungs, aud they
kept to work at him till they drove him
into a mountain fever and finally into q
metallic sarcophagus.
"Along about the holidays the sun
went down on George w. Mulqueen's
life, Just as the eternal sunlight Lit up
the dewy eyes. You will pardon my
manner, Nye, but it seemed to me Just
as if George had climbed up to the top
of Mount Cavalry, or wherever it was,
with the whole school on his back, and
had to give up at last
1T seemed kind of tough to me and
couldn't help blamin' it onto the school
some, for there was half a dozen big
snoozers that didn't 60 to school to
learn, but just to raise Ned and turn up
Jack.
"Well, they killed him, anyhow, and
that settled it.
1.-The school run kind of wild till
Feboowary, and then husky young
tenderfoot, with a fist like a mules
foot in full bloom, made an application
for the place, and allowed he thought
he could maintain discipline if they d
give him chance. Well, they asst him
when he wanted to take his place as
tutor, and he reckoned he could begin
to tute about Monday follering.
SUNDAY afternoon he went up to the
school-hOuse to look over the. grounds
and to arrange plan for an active
Injun campaign agin the hostile hood
lums of Calaveras.
Monday he sailed in about nine a. m.,
with his grip-sack and begun the dis
charge of his duties.
..He brought in bunch of mountain
willers, and after driving big railroad
spike into the decreasing over the
latch, he said the Senate and House
would sit with closed doors during the
mo ming session. Several large, white
eyed holy terrors gazed at him in a
kind of dumb, inquiring tone of voice,
but he didn't say much. He seemed
considerably reserved as to the plan of
the campaign. The new teacher then
unlocked his alligator-skin grip and
took out Bible and a new self-cOcking
weapon that had an automatic dingus
for throwing out the empty shells. 1t
was one of the bulldog variety, and had
the laugh of a joyous child.
ale read short passage from the
Scriptures, and then pulled of his coat
and hung it on a nail. Then he made
few eXtemporaneous remarks, after
which he salivated the palm of his
right hand, took the self-cocking song
ster in his left, and proceeded to wear
out the gads over the various protuber-
ances of his pupils.
"People passing by thought they
must be beating carpets in the school
house. He pointed the gun at his
charge with his left and manipulated
the CAD with his right duke. One large,
overgrown Missourian tried to crawl
out of the wipder, but after he had
looked down the barrel of the shooter a
moment he changed his mind. He
seemed to realize that it would be a viO-
lation of the rules OF the school, so he
came back and sat down.
After he wore out the foliage, Bill,
he pulled the spike out of that door,
pat on his coat and went away. He
never was seen there again. He didn't
ask for any salary, but Just walked off
Quietly. and that summer we accident
ally heard that he was George w. Null
queens brother. Bill Nye. in Puck.