News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1884-09-25
A LITTLE QUARREL.

Two ladies had had little tiff, and
one of them remarked as she departed:
"Well, as I told my husband this
morning, shouldn't care to be in your
shoes"
"I imagine not" the other replied.
"You would find them painfully close
fitting"
WITH KEEN SENSE.
'Iook here" said Colonel Bloster,
addressing an acquaintance whom he
suddenly met in turning corner, ''you
are very long time in paying that bill.
You do not seem to care"
"Oh, yes do, Colonel"
"No, sir, you do not. You do not
seem to remember your obligation"
ooh, I remember it, Colonel. If I
did not, would not cross the street to
avoid meeting you. I have keen sense
of obligation, otherwise l would not be
put to so much trouble.
'Now here; you are not acting right
". Just put yourself in my place
and"
Impossible, Colonel. cannot put
myself in your place. I cannot imagine
your feelings. for no one ever owed me-.
-ArkanSaaO Traveller.
THE LONG, LONG DAY.
Visitor to Nantucket-For goodness
sake tell me what you do here in the
winter?
Native-Oh, we get on pretty well.
We go to bed at sunset and sleep next
day till noon; then we get up and pray
for night to come, that we may go to
bed again ."--BoSton transcript.
CRUEL MAN.
Mother Ito married daughter)-"Why,
what's the matter, Clara What are you
crying about?'
-"Henry is so cruel Sob, he
is getting worse and worse every day
(sob). Whatdo you suppose he said
lust now? He told me I must get rid
of cook: he couldn't stand her cooking
| any longer (sob). And he knows well
enough that she hasn't done one bit of
cooking for fortnight, and that I have
done it all myself Boo-hoo boo-hoo y
Boston transcript.
GREAT STRENGTH OF SINNERS.
ssMy dear boy" said an earnest Sun
day-school teacher at the North End
Mission to frowsy urchin, ''do you
know that we are all sinners ?'
''Yes, marm.
"Do you know that you are sinner"
eyes, marm.
A long and earnest talk followed, IN
which the claims of the gospel were
fully set forth, but the teacher was only
rewarded by an unintelligible stare.
I Finally, it occurred to the teacher
that perhaps she had taken the boy be-
vond his depth, and she inquired;
"John, you know what sinner iS'
don't you?" :.
esinners. marin? ? oh, yes; sinners is
strings in turkeys legs. ."-Bostoa Gtooe.
A RAINY DAY.
Mrs winks-''Did you notice in the
Arctic reports that the exploring party,
after running out of food, kept them
selves alive on seal skin ?"
MIR. Winks-"Yes. 1t is strange that
Il should contain so much nutriment.
Rnt speaking of starvation reminds me
! that we have not saved penny this
q wear. 1t won't do to go on that way,
:. you know"
! "Certainlx not and that is what wa
/ going to speak about. We must lay III
something for rainy day. We dom
Q know how soon we may meet with mis-
|, fortune"
|. "True, and IS Uncle Jake has prom
n ised to send me present of $500 in tn
IS fall, think it would be good starter
Is don't you?"
'sJust the thing, dear. Buy me a sou
sealskin sacque for Christmas presen
and if the worst comes to the worst-W
Of can eat it, you know. '-Phtta. eau.
SUNDAY CLOSING.
VI New York Alderman-"No use lettin
81 John go to the public library. All
. them are closed on Sundays"
ie Mrs. Alderman-"Oh you must
p mistaken. I know one was open SUI
~ days this spring, becauseI was thel
y myself"
70 eyes, it was then, but we have ha
- them closed up since"
70 "Why, what for?"
u. ''Wel, the fact is they interfered wit
OF the business of my saloon. "-Ihe Cal