Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-25
BRIGHT BITS.

The grocer who sells y ounces for pound
depends on his winning welgh.-Aeto orleans
PicdVuRe,
HEALTH JOURNAL says that you ought to
take three-quarters of an hour for your dim
ner. 1t is well also to add a few vegetables
and piece of meat.-B0stOh Star.
WOMAN doesn't consistently use prOfane
language, but the way she says "Graelous"
when she slips down is full of subtle meaning
and inherent force.-Philadtlphid cal.
Mr.. D. (triumphantly showing his new
$4,000 MeissOnier to celebrated art crltlc) ::
you might not think it, but that picture IS
all hand painted Mr.. Noddlebox guarantees
it."-ES.
\ TIMID young man has married lady
whose weight verges closely upon 200 pounds.
MY dear" says he to her, "shall help you
| over the fenceg" mo- says she to him, help
| the fence"
DIVORCE SENSATIONS are becoming so
numerous in the papers that 1t looks like
| studied effort on the part of the press to in
tmidate the girls during leap year.
! Chicago Dr0verS journal.
! AN English nobleman now travelling in the
| West has offered his heart and hand to a ser
! want girl. Perhaps he knows what wages
! servant girls get IN this country, and is after
| her money PhiIddslphiG call.
| A BISMARCK youth received a reply TO a
| marriage PROPOSAL which said: "If yule Quit
! chawn Tobacker lie hat you, jim, butt Never
]
/ Breth as yOuren. "-BisD,drcb tribune.
AN English scientist has discovered the
! Americans are 'right-legged,' and a Buffalo
reporter has found that we are ''left-eared.'
! The scientist was probably one OF those I'm :
/ pertinent Enghshmen that Americans can't
/ stand.
4 NUMBER Of regular bOarders in a san
/ Francisco hotel felt insulted and went away
! because Johnny Sullivan and his gang Of pugi-
| lists were received as guests. They didn't say
Grt1li fo
/ though.
A GOOD old man up in Epping, n. H., went
/ to prayer meeting the other night, and un-
! Willingly fell asleep. He was called up to
offer prayer, and, being dutifully punched by
| his better half, beloved out: "Gol- darn it,,
Betsy, kindle it yourself"
TIE ice is most gone,
The snow is forlorn,
And what will the youngsters do now? Alas!
In the house they will sing o
And frOlic till spring,
| When they'll tumble and romp on the grass.
He was rather soiled and edy-looking, his
nose resembled a crimson sunset, and when he
| entered a store and acc Osted the head of the
firm with, Say, boss. I'm raising fund to
| bury my mother-ln-law; can't you give me a
liItt' he YVES Immediately accommodated.
He was given lift that almost loosencd the
roots Of his hair.-NorrjSt01cn H0rdld.
GLAD to met you," said the thoughtful
looking man to the one to whom he had just
| been introduced. "What business did you
saw" Liquor business was the answer.
''Wholesale or retail?" ''Wholesale and re-
tail both" "Retail:" with the rising in1ec-
ton. "Hm, thought | knew all the retail
/ places in town. --LO1oeH Citizen.
"BE IT So" said the manager; Wen give
you the part of the King. If you do that pass
| ably wei. We'll give you something in higher
| Inca supe, for instance. True, there's a
big difference betw"el the two, but | really
see no reason why man who can play the
! King really well may not one day make his
mark as chief Of the supes.' -Bost0n Trans
! eptDf