The Arizona champion., 1884-04-26
BORROWED WIT.
The religious prsss--nugsiiis q Sun. school teacher

ill? "Oh, no, but have very mus cular maid"
 The features of Christine Wilson's pug dog are said to resemble those of Ben. Butler. The sensitive animal feels verr Respondent over the comparison. A woman doesn't consistently use pro- fame language, but the way she says "Gracious when she slips down is full of subtle meaning and inheritent force.
 "Don't forget the poor" urges coun- | try editor. It isn't very often that an editor puts in puff for himself, but oc- casionally he is driven to it by neces- sity.
 Among recent patents is pocket "storm indicator" Every married man of convival habits should have one and keep 1t in the same pocket with his night key.
 "Oh, Professorl" exclaimed senti- mental old Mrs. Fishwacher, during "a private organ recital in her music room, "do pull out that sweet nux vomica stop once more !"
 "That parrot of mine s wonderful bird ?" said Smithers; che cries Stop thief! so naturally, that everytine l hear it l always stop. What are you ali laughing at, anyway"
 "Shall 1 take your love to poor moth- er" said a lady visitor, who was going to see the mother in question, to a little child of three years. "She has my love-" was the quaint reply.
 Two women were married to each other in Virginia recently. It may be all right for the present, but after a whlle-think of it-the children will have two mother and no father.
 "Now l understand" said Oldenburg with sigh, after vainly trying to get a view of the stage over the bonnet in front of him "now I understand what they mean by the height of fashion,"
 They have an extraordinary police force in Troy. A man was attacked at night, stunned, carried quarter of a mile, and then robbed of his watch and chain, money and diamond pin, hat, clothes and shoes The police recovered the shoes.
 People are so ridiculous with their all lusions, carrying their foolscaps una wares, thinking their own lies opaque while everybody else's are transparent, as if when all the world looked yellow under lamp, they alone were rosy.
 "I write this," said man address ing a gentleman who owed him money, "to inform you that you are liar" "four postage stamp was wasted" !" came the reply, Gas I knew that was a liar before 1 had any transactions with you"
 A San Francisco man was recently found dead with bottle of water clutched in his nerveless hand. He had probably in thoughtless moment taken swallow of it and the shock proved too much for him.
 "I say, Mir. Painter, can you do job for me to-day?" 'I want sign paint ed." 'All right; what kind of sign ?" "A sign of rain." Exit, logging a paint pot.
 The New York Morning Journal an- nounces that "The Sheriff Steps Down. :" But why does it thus aggravate us? '? Was it Mir. Sullivan or the fellow who wanted to set 'em up for the crowd" at the nearest corner grocery?
 Philadelphia has young lady of twenty years who weighs 532 pounds, and Boston has a young man whose arms each measure over five feet in length. These people seem to be con- structed by wise Providence purposely for each other, and some means should be employed to bring them together.
 "Do you keep Lent?" said John as James hurried past him in down-pour of rain, on Sunday morning on his way to church. "No, but my umbrella does," was Jim's reply, as he saw it in Johns uplifted hand. "A most excel lent joke," was Johns parting salute.
 It has leaked out that unmal rcd woman all over the northwest are form ing leap year clubs, and that when spring opens they will swoop down on the bachelors as the Assyrians of old swope. This is believed to be another scheme worked up to drive immigration into the Ceur de Alene region.
 The shock of an earthquake was felt | m hi,hirar lac h,,t been satisfactorily explained by new poem by Ella Wheeler. Some horrid man had kissed her again, and she just rattled things with her own and only grand shiver act.
 Rudolph H. writes as follows to the Morning Journal: "What makes me dream of alligators and lizards every | night? l also talk in my sleep." Rudolph probably crooks the pregnant hinges of the elbow too frequently. He should try making his hot water straight.
 A man went home the other even- ing and found his house locked up. After infinite trouble he managed to gain an entrance through back win dow, and then discovered on the parlor table note from his wife, reading:- 'I have gone out; you will find the key on the side of the step"
 "Wonder what's become of the Re- vised New Testament?" said Brown; "I haven't seen copy of it for year." "Have you seen copy of the old yer sion within year." asked the Deacon "By gracious" exclaimed Brown, Ucomp to think of if I hoyapjt par-.