The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1884-08-06
NASBY.
The Corners Ratify the Nomination and
Discuss the Platform.
fn.or. +ho Tolado plodo


cago reached the Corners by mule ex-
press from the stashen at Secessionville
To say that the nooze evoked the pro-
foundest sensashen is putin it alto
gether too mild. The horn wuz footed
from the front NV Bascom's grosery,
and at the summons the citizens OF the
Corners rallied at the meetin' house and
we organized ourselves to-wunst into q
ratification meetin'.
l took the chair, ez matter NV
course, and Isaker Gavitt wuz yoonani-
musly appintid Sekretary, he bein' the
only citizen NV the Dimekratic per.
suasion in the Corners wich hez the gift
NV 'ritin', 'ceptin' myself, and NV course
] can't be President and Sekretary Nv
the same meetin'.
The follerin' resolooshen wuz to-wunst
submittid;
Res0lUed, That the Dimocrisy Nv Con-
federit X Roads hev heerd with mingled
emoshuns Nv pleasure and gratitood NV
the nominashen Nv that sterlin' patriot
and world-renowned statesman, Cleve'
land, NV
There ensood at this pint most ok
kerd pause.
"What State is Cleveland fromp' en-
quired the Cheerman Nv the Committy
on Resolooshens.
"Uv Moo YORK." ! answered prompt
ly.
The blank wuz filed in wen unfor-
chnitly it wuz seiestid that ez the reso-
looshens wuz agoin out to the world ii
wood be decent TO put in his fust
name, and not one Nv US knowd wat 1t
wuz.
Deelin Pogram insistid that it must
be Androo. 1.-THE fust vote cast for q
Dimolrat for President" he remarkt,
"wuz for q Androo, Androo Jaxon, and
thelast Dimolratic President we he'd wuz
another Androo, Androo Jonson. This
man, Cleveland, his name must be An
droo."
And so It went into the resolooshens
"Androo Cleveland.
/ diskivercd dinlkilty the mint Ired
the platform. Deekin Pogram is, and
alluz heg bin, n violent frce-tradcr, while
Issaker Gavitt is, and hez bin, n violent
perteckshunist, ever sence he sekoored
q interest in rollin mill wich sum
Eastern capitalists establish on his
fathers farm. supposed, however,
that he'd EN- both fixed red it to
en- separately, and constrood TO Tssaker
that nothing Good be more pcrteck-
shun, and 20 the good old Dekin that it
wuz ez wildly free trade ez even he Good
desire.
The platform wuz red by myself and
we proposed another resolooshen APP
provn that. Then trubble ensood.
Deelin Pogram, wich is violent
free trader, riz to remark that he Good
vote for that platform with his whole
hart and sole. He he'd bin free trader
all his life, and he never knowd Dim
ekratic Convenshun TO plant itself so
cleerly and explicitly on the side NV
free trade sence he he'd bin in pollytix.
Issaker Gavitt riz to say he Good vote
for the tariff plank with all his hart,
becoz that plank showd that the Dimoc-
risy he'd finely got right on the tariff
question, the plank, ez he red il, being
for the proteckshun nv Amerikun in
dnstry. II wuz encuridgin to them,
wich believed in progress and sich, to
hev the Dimocrisy Nv the Nashen rise
onto this most important pint
"Do yoo pertend TO say that the
Dimocratic platform favors perteck-
shun?" shreeked the Deekin. "Ez it
wuz red to me, it IL for free trade, pure
and simple"
"Yoo old ass, can't 700 understand
plane EnglishP IF it isn't a square
toed proteckshun dockyment | can't
spell. 700 are fool and alluz wuz."
Jist then the Deekin, in the intrest
Nv harmony, announst his intenshun NV
whalin lssaker and proceeded to do it,
and or tho old man alluz did hev
muscle ther wuz the prospex Nv live
ly row. lie jumped across the seets to
the Secrctary's desk and he'd Issaker
by the throte, and Issaker he'd him by
the hair whcr it is the shortest, and
they wuz a rollin on the floor in less'n
no time.
In the meantime Bsscom and Kernel
MPelter he'd got into tuzzle ez to
what the platform meant on the money
question, and tho rest NV the citizens
got into q s1uabble ez TO whether Cleve-
land wuz a Dimekrat at all or not,
becoz Tammany opposed him, and the
upshot NV tho biznis wuz ther wuz q
row witch incloodid every Dimelrat
present except me, and we broke up
without passin any resolooshens or rati-
fyin the nominashen at all.
Deekin Pogram and / retired TO the
back room Nv Bascom's, and while the
old Saint wuz washin the blood OFF
his face, we he'd conversashen over
the platformP"
"Parson," sed the old man, "what is
the reel meenin Nv the platformP"
Anything 700 like" wuz my reply,
"anything yoo like. Remember it's a
Dimocratik platform, and a Dimocratik
platform must be comprehensive"
"Does II meen free trade or pertek-
shunp"
EITHER or both, or neither"
"Parson, wunst on time an ekes-
trian attempted the perilus feet NV ridin
two hosses, wlch wuz agoin in different
direckshuns. 1t resultid in totle fail
yoor, and he wuz split in two, and his
blood drenched the arena"
"Deekin, / recognize the parable.
But you must remember we amt ridin
two hosses, jist now. We hev only
promised TO ride en-. We hev not yit