The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-09-10
That Wife of His.


After having been married some
weeks it came into the head of q
young husband one Sunday, when
he had but little to occupy his
mind, to suggest to his wife that
they should plainly and honestly
state the faults that each had discov-
cred in the other since they had
become man and wife. After some
hesitation the wife agreed to the
proposition, but stipulated that the
rehearsal should be made in all sim
cerity, and with an honest view to
the bettering of each other, as other
wise it would be of little use tospeak
of their faults to which marriage
had opened their eyes. The husband
was of the same mind and his wife
asked him to begin. He was some
what reluctant, but his wife insist
ed that he was first to propose the
matter, and, as he was the head Of
the house, it was in his place to take
the lead. Thus urged he began the
ricital.
He said
MY dear, one of the first faults
that | observed in you after we be-
gan keeping house was that you neg
lected the tinware. My mother al
ways took great pride in her tin
ware, and kept it as bright as dol
lar"
81 am glad you mentioned it,
DEAR" said the wife blushing a little.
Hereafter you shall see no spot on
cup or pan. Pray proceed"
Il also observe that you use your
dishrags a long time without wash
ing them, and finally throw them
away. Now, when at home, | re-
member that my mother always used
to wash out her dishrags when done
using them, and then hung them up
where they could dry, ready for the
next time she would use them"
Blushing, as before, the young
wife promised to amend this fault.
The husband continued with a
most formidable list of similar
faults, many more than we have
space to enumerate, when he deolar-
ed he could think of nothing more
worthy of mention.
"Now, my DEAR" said he, you be-
gin and tell me all the faults you
have discovered in me since we have
been married"
The wife sat in silence, Her face
flushed to the temples and a great
lump came in her throat which she
seemed to be striving hard to swal-
low.
Proceed, my dear tell me all the
faults you have discovered in me
spare none"
Arising suddenly from her seat the
little wife burst into tears, and throw
ing both arms around her husbands
neck, cried:
my dear husband, you have not
fault in the world. If you have
one my eyes have been SO blinded
by love for you that so long as we
have been married | never once OBJ
served it. In my eyes you are per
feet. and all that you do seems to be
done in the best manner and Just
what should be DONE"
"But, my dear" said the husband,
his face reddening and his voice
growing husky with emotion, 'just
think, l have gone and found all
manner of fault with you. Now, do
tell me some of my faults; / know
| have many-ten times as many as
you had or ever will have. Let me
hear them. "
Indeed, husband, it is as / tell
you; you have not single fault
that l can see. Whatever you do
seems right in my eyes, and now
that know what a good tor nothing
little wretch l am, | shall at once
begin the work of reform and try to
make myself worthy of you"
Nonsense, my dear, you know
that sometimes l go away and leave
you without wood cut / stay down
town when | ought to be at home; |
spend my money for drink and ci-
gars when / ought to bring it home
to you; I"
mo you DON'T" cried his wife,
''you do nothing of the kind. 1 like
to see you enjoy yourself; | should
be unhappy were you to do other
wise than just exactly as you do"
''God bless you, little wife" cried
the now subiugated husband, IRON
this moment you have no faults in
the world. Indeed, you never had
foult; | was joking; don't remem-
Der a word l said ~ And he kissed
away the tears that trembled in the
little woman's eyes.
Never again did the husband scru-
tinize the tinware or examine the
dishrag-never so much as mention
ed one of the faults he had enumer-
ated, but soon after the neighbor wo-
men were won't to say:
''It is wonderful how that Mrs.
Keeps everything about her
house Her tinware is as bright as
new dollar, and / do believe she
not only washes but irons her dish
rags"
And the neighbor men were heard
to say:
what steady fellow -
has got to be of late he dent spend
a dime where he used to spend
dollar, and can never be kept from
home half an hour when he is not
at work. He seems to worship that
wife Of his.n