Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1884-02-07
THE TALE OF A BARTENDER.
How ChawIey and Horace Cleaned
Out n Saloon in Tenth Avenue.
New York Times.


New York Times
A short, stout gentleman, with heavy
black mustache, whose aspect of subdued
ferocity was heightened by weeks growth
of coarse-stubble upon his chin, stood upon
the front platform of 4th avenue car yes
terday morning, with a high silk hat
cooked over his left eye and an exceedingly
bad cigar projecting from corner of his
mouth at very acute angle. As the car
rolled downward this gentleman of pre-
possessing exterior discOursed upon men
and things to Haroun AL Raschid and the
car-driver, showing marked partiality for
the opinions of the horseman, as compared
with those of his other auditor. From his
conversation it appeared that his profess
sion was that of mixer of drinks in
hOstelry in 10th avenue.
AS the car passed through Union Square
brace Of youths in very broad -brimmed
hats, very short Overcoats, and very brill
liant gloves, with very thick walking sticks,
skipped lightly over the street under the
horses heads and moved onward at that
india-rubber lOck-step pace which Harvard
University confers upon the alumni The
bartender laughed horse laugh as he
SctLcu dltcI luCIu anu W 1ldAOuu III
Raschid:
"a couple O them dudes had lot of fun
over me night before last Haw, haw, haw !!
could break my heart laughin' every time
/ think of it."
The driver having signified an inclina
ton to learn the circumstances that afford
ed the passenger so much pleasure in retro
spection, the bar-keeper consented to re-
late the tale.
II was sittin' down behind the bar" he
said, "about eight o'clock in the eyenin'-
an nobody in the place-when in comes
couple of the dudest dudes | ever see.
They were about as wide as bed slat, and
the way they walked wouldn't have broke
egg-shells. One of 'em says:
"Aw, Chawley, what'll it be 2"
Give us some arf-an-arf," says Chawley
to me.
III take the same" says the other dude
'Arf-an'-arf of wot ~ / axes 'em.
'Arf seltzer an arf sasparilla." Chaw-
ley says
The same for me-" puts in the other
dude, "an' say, baw-tender," he says, put
little dash of ginger ale into mine.
There's alcohol III ginger ale" he says to
Chawley.
You can put some ginger ale into mine,
too baw-tender," Chawley SAYS, big as life.
We'll, fixed the drinks up for em and
they poured 'em down their necks. Then
the other dude axes me how much.
Half dollar" / SAYS.
by iawv," says Chawley. DO you take
us for gillies, baw-tender?'
Nav, says. l take yer fer gentlemen.
That's rou;1ar nriae thau ST
mixed nckers :" and then for the life OF me
/ couldn't help laughin' at EN-.
Hes guyin' us. Horace" said Chawley.
"Confund you, bartender Y said Horace
What dye mean? I've great mind to
clean out this place, by gawve"
That almost made me laugh agin, they
were such light weights Why, I'd been
afraid TO touch one of 'em for fear he'd
come apart, and l saws, kinder meek to
'em:
"Aw, come, now. young gentlemen! You
don't want to ruin poor man with
family on his hands by smashing up his
stuff :"
you've insulted u.s. said Horace. tero-
cious as bulldog. "Blawst, you, baw
tender, you've insulted usw If you don't
apologize III clean out this place"
Well" | says to em, that's just what
you will do" and l come out from behind
the bar. Horace fell away a ton, but |
never touched 'em. l only went to the
door and locked it, and put the key in my
pocket Then got pail of water and
scrubbing brush and mop, and / says to
'em: Now, you fellers said you was goin'
to clean this place out, and I'm Just agoin'
to make YOU do it ~
Did they do it 2" inquired the driver,
so much interested that he was entirely OBJ
livious of fat woman who was frantically
waving an umbrella and shouting to HIM
to stop the car.
We'll, you juss betcher life they did it.
Do look like the kind of a man what al
lows dude to insult him in his own shOp?"
And the bartender got off the car at
Broome street, and stalked loftily down
the Bowery with an air of conscious supe-
riority