Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-09-05
A QUEER STORY.

moner in England He was thirty
five wears of age, tall and slight, with
a pale, interesting face, and faded
yellow mustache. Ills vices were
comparatrvely few, and of gentle
manly description. His near relations
consisted of couple of married Sis
ters. He had no cntanglements, and
was not a gambler Needless to say,
therefore, that he was acknowledged
by common consent to be the most
eligible parti in London. But though
by no means lmperviOus to the charms
OF the far sex, Byng was very hard
to please. The lovelIest young de-
butdntcs and the most astute mothers
had for years angled unsuccesSlully
for tho gltterlng prize. But each re
curing season brought with 1t some
fresher beauty or some more confident
mamma, and heEce the hunting of
Byng went merrlly on.
He liked to talk to women about
pictures, about poetry, love, trans
cendental philosophy, and matters
generally mystical and ethereal: lie
FOUND them SO much more tolerant
than men, and so much less apt to de-
tect his utter and CHASTITY Ignorance
of nearly every subject upon which
he converscd Men. IN fact, consider
ed Byng an affected nincompoop,
and ONLY eRdured him for the sake of
his wealth.
"Why the deuce don't you marry,
Adderlcy?" remarked Capt. Tom Car
bury, one day.
Tom Carbury was Byng's man of-all
4 4 I, Inl
lived upon HIM for some years, and
il was only when his cccentlctty and
vanity became utterly wcarlsomc to
the practical henchman that he limited
at matrim0ny Carbury, moreover,
did not see why he should not make
a pretty good thing out of his patrons
marriage by iudicious arrangement
with the brides family.
my dear Tom, answered the tran
scendentalist, where am to find
woman with kindred spirit; with a
soul above the common things of
earth one who can really svmpathiZe
with my own IdIosyncraSy?
blessed if know" answered the
Captain, terribly puzzled by lis pa
irons words; but if were IN your
shoes | should get rather sick of
being hunted about by all the dow
ayers in london, and ogled by every
girl who comes out. | should marry
one of them Just to spite the rest.
81 certainly cannot marry them all, "
unused Byng, languldly. "Nel,
Carbury, I'll think about it"
The Captain also determined to
think 1t over, for, rs stated, he was
getting little tired Of his position.
He was n thick Sc bull-necked man
of two or three and forty, very fond
of good living, and devoted to London
and Paris Byug, on the other hand,
professed to despise frivolous amuse-
ments, live like an anchorite for
months together, and was in the
habit of occasionally rushing off to
wild and uncivilized parts of the
globe. where the unfortunate Captain
was forced to submit to very unwel
come prlvatlons. y Journey through
Tartary had brought the Captain to
the verge of rebellion, and though he
did not like the idea of quarrellng
with his bread and butter he felt that
ho could not endure many more such
terrible experiences, SO he began to
look ihbNl lLill lN'I stlltl pllitLN SNllltblC
to the errant philosopher.
His difficulty naturally lay in the
abundance of material from which he
had To make the selection. After ma
ture consideration, however, he dccid-
ed in favor of a certain Miss Constance
Lexington. She was exceedingly
pretty, 1t WAS her first season, and her
only near relative was her fathcr,
gentleman whose pedigree was much
longer than his rent roll. Besides Mr..
Laxington. as the Captain knew, was
by no means overburdcued with cash,
and was not likely to have any hcslta
ton in arranging some little scheme
by which Carbury might share in the
advantages Miss l4a1lugton would de
rive from this marriage.
""hat deucrd pretty girl your
daughter iSv' said the Captain one
evening to the young lady's father, as
they sat in the smoking room of the
Lawn Club.
Think So2N inquired the other, who
knew that Carbury was not likely to
make such remarA out of pure good
nature
Might marry any ole," said the
captain, tnpQgAtlullS.
Lexington began to prick mp his
ears, and SAID, YES, / think she can
do we'll.
After little more preliminary fenc-
ing, Carbury began 10 approach the
point, She doesn't know Byug, does
she?'
mo. and | shouldn't think it much
use if she did. He's not marrying
man, is hel"
Well, l don't quite understand
what constitutes a marrying man,
rejoined the cautious Captain; but
these things do happen all the same
l should be very glad myself to see
Byug married to " nice girl, he added,
Significantly: lit would do him n lot
of good.
Laxngtoa drew his chair closer TO
Carbury, and the two became cngag-
ed in conversation apparently Of
the most absorbing nature. After
half IN hour or SO, Carbury arose to
60.
II suppose must agree, remarked
Lexington; but you are y terrible
fellow to deal with"
"All right" answered the other;
nan when SheS engaged, ana tae
other on the wedding day. Man
alive, twill be the making of you'll"
A couple of days later Captain Car
bury conuived that Miss Lexington,
chaperoned by her aunt, Lady Cara
way, should be introduced to the
philosophical Byng at a house in
Grosvenor square.
you might do worse than marry
that Laxington girl" remarked the
Captain TO his patron the next morn
ing; young and lovely, and all that;
got no announcement brothess; and
you wouldn't be plagued with a
motherin-law. Not much money
but that doesn't matter to you"
''Shs seems nice girl, said Byng,
in his usual languid manner; "bat
how about the fatherIh pTH
''Oh, Laxington's all right; gam