The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1884-09-24
The sHirsside.
About wedIock and weddIng-Rings.

"Friend H, why have you never
married 2" The prompt answer was
al cannot afford to. The girls in my
stratum of society nowadays are not salts
fed without diamonds, seal-skins and
opera.tickets, and my small income can't
stand that" So warm-hearted man
travels the life journey alone, when for
his own sake, and for some good womsn's
sake, he ought to be mated. What H
said, half in sport, has serious side to it.
There is no doubt that hundreds of young
men deny themselves wife land too often
drift into licentious alliances) because
they cannot support wife who has ex-
travagsnt notions of living. All the
worse for both sexes; celibacy is often as
hazardous to the woman as to the man.
God ordained marriage because he knew
that cit is not good for either sex to
be alone" Every young woman is not
"clean daft i" on the subject of stylish
living there are as sensible girls left in
this world as there were when Solomon
wrote the thirty.frst chapter of the book
of Proverbs. A friend of mine, who had
Just learned his trade, said to the young
lady whom he loved: you are having
offers from young men in handsome cir.
cumstances. If you marry me can
promise you, for awhile, nothing better
than an upper story of clearinghouse"
She admired his frankness, and had sense
enough to know that the genuine love of
pure and noble young man was greater
prize than parlor carpeted with Wilton
and wardrobe filled with satin and
point-lace. She married him, and he
fought his way up to become prosperous
head of firm in Broadway. If she had
sold her maidenly heart for money (Which
is often genteel form of prostitution)
she would have cheated herself deplorably.
There is but one single, valid motive for
wedlock, and that is pure, old-fashioned
love--a love strong enough to stand any
strain and to bear every pressure. The
social malaria of these times is false
idea of matrimony; the consequent curse
of the day is easy divorce. Every strand
that is cut in the sacred bond Of wedlock
loosens the fabric of both society and the
church. Easy divorce breeds practical
polygamy as abominable as any in Utah.
Occasionally divorces are justified by the
criminal conduct of one party towards
deceived and long-suffering innocence.
Inoompatibility is no more valid
ground for divorce than bad digestion or
broken limb. have watched the after
history of the hundreds whom | have
misfits " were the result of hasty or
thoughtless gements-sometimes in
defiance of parental wisdom and wishes.
When young people 60 into an engage
ment for life as carelessly as they 60 to a
picnic, they must expect to pay for their
folly with bitter experience. With thou
sands marriage engagement is a matter
OF boyish or girlish caprice. Sometimes
a wife is sought for the gross Qualifications
of sensual appetite; sometimes as a
shrewd pecuniary speculation sometimes
to secure support for shiftless laziness
from father-in-law. Such violations of
the sacred core.idea of wedlock often end
in the divorce-courts, or in some other
form of permanent separation. If wise
marriages are "made in heaven" then
the hasty, loose, selfish, or libidinous sort
are the han6-work of the devil. l would
like to whisper in every young lady's ear
never be "to be had" too cheaply /;
never say eyes too hastily; never &C.
cept any man who cannot offer you a love
without rival and character without a
stain. Commor-sense, industrious habits,
warm heart and Bible conscience are
the first requisites when young man
can lay these at your feet, be careful how
you say ono" to him you may be sorry
for it, and by-and-by take up with sorry
stick from a silly fear of being laughed
at as an "old maid" But the easier
the divorce process is made the more nu-
merous will be the hasty, reckless and ill
assorted marriages. Probably there never
was a marital union that did not involve
single particle of friction; and simply
because no man is a demi.god and no
woman sinless angel. But even the few
and inevitable frictions will not wear on
the "rivets if they are kept we'll oiled
with unselfish love. When true hearts
are welded in the Lord, and welded for
heaven, they can bear an occasional disa-
greement of taste or judgment, or few
disappointments, and not love each other
one whit the less. What cuts a wedding.
ring through the soonest is willful neglect
DR.. T. L. Cuyler, in Brooklyn AdUance.