Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-07-30
He Pleaded His Own Case.

Peter Bennett for his bill, long over
due, for attending the wife of the lat
ter. Alex. III. Stevens was on the
Bennett side, and Robt. Toombs, then
senator of the United States, was for
Royston. The doctor proved his mum
Der of visits, their value according to
local custom, and his own authority
to do medical practice. Mr.. Stephens
told his client that the physician had
made out his case, and as there was
nothing wherewith to rebut or offset
the claim, the only thing left to do
was to pay it. ..
NO." said Peter, 81 hired you to
speak my case, and now speak,"
Mr.. Stephens told him that there
was nothing to say; he had looked
on to see that it was made out, and it
was. |
Peter was obstinate, and at last Mr..
Stephens told him to make a speech
himself, if he thought one could be
made. ~,
81 WILL" said Bennett, "if Bobby
Toombs won't be too hard on me-"
Senator Toombs promised, and he
began .ur
"Gentlomen of the jury.-You and
is plain farmers, and if we don't
stick together these ere lawyers and
doctors will git the advantage Of us.
/ amt no objections to 'em in their
proper place but they amt farmers,
gentlemen of the jury. Now this
man Royston was q new doctor, and ]
went for him to doctor my wife'S sore
leg. And he come an put some salve
truck onto it and rags, but it never
done it one bit of good, gentlemen Of
the jury. | don't believe he's no doc
tor, no way. There is doctors as is
doctors, sure enough, but this man
don't earn his money, and if you send
for him, as Mrs. Sarah Atkinson did
for a negro boy as is worth 81 900, he
just kills him and wants pay for it,"
II didn't" thundered the doctor.
"Did you cure him ?" asked Peter
with the slow accents of u judge with
a black cap OH.
The doctor was silent and Peter
proceeded:
GAS l was saying, gentlemen of the
jury, we farmers, when we sell our
cotton, has got to give vally for the
money we ask, and doctors amt none
too good to be put on the same rule
And | don't believe this Sam Roys
ton is no doctor, nohow."
The physician again put in his roar
with Look at my diploma, if you
think Pm no doctor"
"His diploma !" exclaimed the new.
hedged orator with contempt. "His
diploma! Gentlemen, that is a big
word for q printed sheepskin, and il
didn't make no doctor of the sheep
that first wore it, nor does it Of the
man as now carries it. A good news
paper has more in it, and I'll pin,
out to We that he amt 10 doctor al
ALL"
The man of medicine was now in O
fury, and screamed out: "Ask my
patients if l am not a doctor" ,......
81 asked my wife," retorted Peter
can she said as how she thought you
wasn't"
"Ask my other patients" said DR.
Royston.
This seemed to be the straw that
broke the camels back, for Peter re-
piled with a look Of unuterable sad
ness
"That is a hard sayin', gentlemen
Of the jury, an one that requires me
to die, or have powers which I've
hearn tell ceased to be exercised 81 nee
the apostles. Does he expect me to
bring the angel Gabriel down to toot
his horn before his time, an cry aloud
Awake, ye dead, and tell this court
and jury your opinion of Royston't
practice?' ? Am l to go to the lonely
graveyard and rap on the silent tomb
an say to 'em as is at rest from ply.
sic an doctors: Get up here, you,
an state if you died natural death,
or was hurried up by some doctors ?
He says ask his patients, and, gentle
men of the jury, they're all dead,
Where is Mrs. Beasley's man Sam
Go ask The worms in the graveyard
where he lies. Mrs. Peaks woman
Sarah, was attended by him, an her
funeral was appointed an he had the
corpse ready. Wherenis that likely
Bill as belonged to Mrs. Mitchell :
Now in glory, a. expressin' his opin-
ion Of Royston's doctorin'. = Where
is that baby gal Of Harry Stevens ?
She are where doctors cease from
troublin' and infants are at rest
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