The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-01-10
WHY MEN DO NOT MARRY.
The English Solution of an Interesting
Problem

The English marriage-market has
become an arena of competition as
keen as any auction-room. The nat
ural impulses of woman are disregard
ed. Mothers advise prudent alliances,
and discountenance, by fair means and
foul, love matches. Girls choke down
their feelings, and aid and abet their
seniors in encouraging men who are
catches" throwing off the restraints
which made their grandmothers charm
ing. But still the cry goes up, s.Men
do not marry" And yet, the most in
veterate clubman, the mocker at love
in cottage, was once youth not blase,
to whom tie vision of home was en-
chanting. Almost every man tries his
hand at realizing some such dream
early in life; but the attempt is usually
nipped in the bud by want of means,
or by failure to win the particular wo-
man on whom his heart is set. He suf-
fers acutely; but man is an elastic crea-
ture; in time he mingles again with the
world, not entirely proof against femin-
inc fascination, but finding it almost
impossible to set up an ideal. Matrons
with attractive daughters can not COM
plain that their girls see few men.
The tendency of the age is to level the
barriers between the sexes; girls play
tennis, they row, they rink, they skate,
they sit in the smoking-room, they
dance, not only in the evenings, but in
the afternoons.
The natural tendency of such Intimate
association would be matrim3nv. But
The fact is, that men who might have
had serious intentions are frightened
OFT before liking begets love- There is
an all-prevailing fuss pervading the in
tercourse OF young people which is alto
begin tc show any particular liking for
each others society, the wide world
around them is instantly on the qui
vive. The mother watches, fuses, re-
ports to her oronies, and too often cate
chises the girl, wounding her sense of
delicacy, and making her conscious
and constrained; OF, leading her to inn
agine herself beloved, when the mans
feeling is only that of pleasure in the
society of young woman who does
her best to make herself agreeable.
Men are usually ignorant how girls
note and weigh the attentions they re-
ceive, and that they impart the details
OF such homage to sympathetic-if en-
vious-feminine ears, thus giving BODY
to vague nothings, and brooding over
trifles till they gather shape.
Meanwhile the man, having said the
pretty things his idea of politeness has
prompted, goes away, forgetting them
and their recipient, while she is expect
ing declaration as the results of few
soft nothlngs, squeeze of the hand or
tender glances, Women are not aware,
on the other hand, how sincerely he
may like and admire girl without a
thought beyond mere goodwill. And
1t Is precisely the better kind of a man
who falls into the misfortune of raising
false hopes. The man whe believes in
the simplicity and candor of women de-
slres their sympathy and values their
regard. man of the world has the
instinct of self-preservation developed
strongly enough FOR his protection.
The sense of safety is the real bond
of many of the alliances now so fashion,
able-sometimes salutary, often mis-
chleVous-between men and married
women. Kept within bonds, no suspi-
clon attaches to them, no hopes are
built upon them. The lady receives
the petits soi'aS dear to the female crea-
ture, which the husband of long stand
ing often neglects. The man receives
the sympathy grateful to the masculine
creature. Men feel this without en-
alyzing their sentiments, and it is a
common complaint among them nova
days that it is impossible to become
well acquainted with girl without ex-
citing the too lively anxiety of her
friends. And no wise man proposes
without knowing the character of the
girl he wishes to marry. The mothers
who are SO eager for their daughters
establishment are wise, although this
precipitation is not only foolish, but in
decorous. - Whitehall ReUieaO.