The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1884-03-19
ON HEARING BILL Arp.

SA A4AAAAAN6 DILL AALs
To the Editor Of the AIorrissoNn Gazette: i
Was you ever a. counfryman IL so
did you ever happen to be in town the
night Of lecture. If so, you may have
some idea how felt, when found Mr.
William Arp was going to lecture over
Goodson's store. You see we country
felix's don't know much about lectures,
except ons kind-they are called cur
tain lecturesl Sly wife is a perfect sue
cess in that line. She can beat Mr..
Arp and give him two i'm the game
but never could laugh at her lectures,
and some how never did like TO con-
stilute a whole audience, and she never
likes a crowded house.
Well, / thought 1 would see il Mr.
Arp coull make the thing go to a
crowd. l couldn't understand how he
could get along with the broom and
shovel act, unless he had an accomplics
In fact I didn't think any man could
get that ofT-naturally. Then there are
peculiar expressions of the countenance
and various things / have seen my wife
do when she is leclIring, l know No
man could do. So / was determined to
see and hear Mr.. Arp. Anticipating
danger kept back as far as could and
let some one else get the benefit Of the
shovel scene. .s... .. .....
But when Mr.. Arp got up saw there
was no immediate danger. and ven
tured up close enough to hear him. Obi
if my wife would just swap lectures
with him. What a success she would
be-snd what small audiences he would
have in the future
When he was telling about Ben Nc
Ginnis l couldn't help thinking about
Bill Collins. You know 1 live near
Squire JOhnson's. One morning be-
fore day / had started a fOx-huntipg,
and stepped at the 'Squire's and was
talking to the Squire, when here comes
Bill ColliRs. He came up and said:
Squire, 1 want warrant" The
Squire asked him whS for, and Bill
said, dad" "WLat for, Billy" "For
fighting" said Bill. "Did he hurt you,
Bills" "No; by! do you think a
man that gets up before day and eats
ubbsn of mush can hurt me with a
stickg"
/ would like to see his McGinnis
tackle Bill G ,llins, And / will tell you
how Bill got even with his "Dad"-he
never liked his father. Bill was great
hunter, aad especially bee hunter: So
Bill found a bee-tree on the side of a
hill, aud he and his brother Tom and
The old man went To cut il down, Bill
was anxious for it t. fall up the bin 50
as To save the bees aud honey-so he
took two bed cords and climbed up the
tree and tied them, then he came down
and took the tive ends up the bill to
hickory sapling an asked his father to
come up there an pull. Sc he tied
one cord to the old mans hands on one
side Of the sapling and the other TO the
other hand on the other side of the sap
ling, and told the old man to brace
himself against tue sapling aud pull
like the! Sc he and Tom cut the
tree down. just about the time the
tree started to fal. the ropes began TO
tighten on the old mans arms, and
Tom he followed 10 the old man, "Let
20 daddy let 60 daddy ~ and the old
man only had time 10 say, "How the
H can let 60 when l am tied hard
and fastr' The sal ling bent and the
cid mans life was saved, but he lost a
good suit OF clsthf :, aud We had to set
up with him and use arnica for three
weeks. Bill tsld ne he knew which
way that tree wound fall. / wish my
wife would take to occurring on Bill
Collins like Mr.. Arp on Ben McGiunis.
hope you will use your paper to get
married women To aspire TO larger au-
diences when they get too much lecture
on hand. l am has lily yours, -