davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-11-26

Opie Reed in his early writing days
was employed for a few weeks on the
Cleveland Leader, regards a humorous
writer with the same contempt that the
early Puritans did a strolling fiddler.
Reed looks upon a man who cannot APP
preciate a joke as fit only for treason
and for spoils." One day an old farmer
friend of CoWles came into Leader sane
tum with an immense hens egg. Reed
was the only man in, and after carefully
writing up the weight, measurement,
ETC., of the egg, added: Our esteemed
friend assured us that this was the
work of a single hen.n CoWles saw the
item only after it had been printed, and
trembling with indignation at what be
considered an affont to his farmer friend,
sent for Reed and spluttered out: Reed,
this ID nonsense has gone too far!
How in thunder do you expect two
hens to lay one eggno Reed, after a
rueful sigh replied: Why, Mr.. CoMles,
it was a double-yolked one!n CoWles
was speechless at this apparent stupidity
and made q break for the counting
room "Perdueu' he shouted to his
business manager, 'tpay that fool Reed
his salary and ship him home. He
will ruin the paper.n. Reed went home,
started that sparkling humorous journal,
the Arkansaw Traveller, and devoted a
column each week for the first six
months to mercilessly ~lampooning the
man who would not laugh at his jokes.
--
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-11-26
A Little Fisny.

I send you a peculiar incident that
happened with me while going around
the shore in search of crippled ducks.
The mornings flight being over, [ fired
at a duck in the bushes, and upon wad-
ing out to get it, [ noticed considerable
commotion among the rushes just be-
yond the duck, and supposed, of course,
that [ had killed another duck. You
can imagine my establishment when,
instead of a duck, | found that a two
pound black bass with a No. 4 shot in
its head vas making the disturbance. I
have seen a squirrel and a pigeon killed
with the same charge, but when you get
fish and fowl at the same time it simply
beats the record.-Cor. Forest and
Stream.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-11-26
From the Little Rockies.

Daniel O'Brien, a miner of many
years experience. arrived in the city
yesterday morning, having come from
the Little Rockies. Mr.. O'Brein is a
very observing gentleman and ranks
away above the ordinary adventurer in
intelligence. A Tribune reporter sought
an interview with him, which was free
~ granted. The old gentleman had
made a thorough investigation Of the
the Little Rockies, and says that in his
belief both are rich in gold, although no
money will be made for some time by
the average p~Insptctor or miner. While
in the Cour d'Alene mines, Mr.. O'Brien
staked out a claim which lie says lie
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-11-26
CleveIand's Plurality.

NEW York, November ia hasty
computation by the clerk in charge Of
the city returns, Of which the anvass
has just been completed, leads him to
state that the plurality for Cleveland in
the entire state will be | ,147. He figures
that Blaine made a net gain in the city
by the anvass Of 100 votes.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-11-26
CattIemen's Convention.

ST. LOUIS, November 1.-THE con-
yention reassembled, and after accept
ing invitations from the Merchants
Exchange and several other public and
private institutions to visit them, adj
journed till 10 o'clock tomorrow morn
ing, when permanent organization will
be effected and the real work begun.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-11-26
Calling Upon the President-Elect.

ALBANY, n. Y, November l7.-Pres-
ident-elect Cleveland's callers to-day
were numerous. There was a constant
stream in and out of the executive
chamber all day. The governor was
accessible to most Of the callers until
late in the afternoon, when he retired
to his private room for a consultation
with political friends.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-11-26
Ohio Official.

COLUMBUS, O., November 15.-The
official canvass Of this state was. complet-
ed tonight. showing a total Of 1856, 17o.
Blaine, 400, Os2; Cleveland, 1858, $50; But
Ter, $50; St. John, 11,269. Blaine's
plurality. 81, So2.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
FOREIGN.

TORONTO, Jan. 2.--An accident oc- cured this morning on the Grand Trunk
 railway at Humber, seven miles from this city; suburban train containing workmen ran into freight tIain coming east; ten persons chiefly men employed at the Ball works are said to be killed DROMoRE, Jan. A serious distur- l hGnce took place yesterday between the Orangemen and Nationalists who held a meeting in close proximity to each other. A fight waged between the two parties for some time, during which the cavalry aud infantry charged several times. Revolver shots were exchanged, stones thrown and sticks freely used
 The fight ended only after the hussars and lancers had charged across the fields and wounded number of Orange men. The infantry with fixed bayonets escorted the NatiOnalists beyond the reach of the Oraugemen.
 ST. PETERSBURG, Jan. 2.-Hsrber telegrapbed from Tomonsk hIs arrival there yesterday. He expects to reach Orenburg on the 18th inst. Harber has charge of the bodies of De Long and his comrades, bringing them home via St. Petersburg. At Orenburg Harber will strike the railway which takes him tO St. Petersburg iu two days. He should reach New York by the first of February.
 PARIS, Jan. 3.-It IS said the govern meut intends tO sell the state railways It Is the belief that Rothschild, in be- half of certain great railways, has Os- fered the government 420,0O0.000 francs for the line. If the sale IS effected the government vlll be enabled to dispense with the contemplated loan of 100000 coo francs.
 LONDON, Jan. J.-The Posts Rome correspondent telegraphs that the Pope's secretary, Monsigneur Boccali, opened a letter addressed to Leo XIII, containing fonian threats shOuidsthe Pope continue supporting England against the national cause os Ireland. The letter states that only protection with the Italian govern ment gives the Pope, who is now the sOveregn, safety from dynamite, will be oi no avail. The Pope is warned thera are priests whom he Is bound to rece,ve, who will obtain access to his presence to sustain the cause of the Irish against oppression.
 LONDON, Jan. 4-Athen announces a new book written by Queen Victoria, entitled More Leafs from the Journal of Life in the Highlands from '62 to 'S2" Copies have already been presented to a few privileged persons.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
TEE CARP FISH QUESTION.

It seems that it IS not very easy mat ter to get carp from the government fish commission, notwithstanding that commission sends the youu Q fry by the car load, all over the country.
 Solomon Warner on the west side of town has gone to an expense of several hundred dollars in building a reservoir for bis mill, which be also desired to stock with carp. In behalf of Mir. War; her and others, J. 4. Spring of this place addressed letter to Prof. Baird of the National Fish Commission, making in- quirey as to how he should proceed to secure a supply. Prof. Baird wrote NIT. Spring to apply to J. H. Taggart at Yuma. who had charge of the distribu- ton of carp in Arizona. Mr. Spring then wrote to MT. Taggart, who informed him to apply to k. Rule at Tombstone, "Rho would supply all who should ap- ply for carp from Tucson and vicinity.
 Mr. Rule was immediately applied to, when he informed them that "he knew nothing about it." Mr. Spring in behalf of the parties III search of carp has again applied to Mir. Taggart, but the result has not yet been ascertaiued.
 If MT. Rule is a Fish Commissioner for Arizona he should know something about the business; If he is not, then the public should be informed of the fact, ss the existing condition of the fish question in Arizona IS no! satisfsc- tory to those who desire to stock ponds
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.

A reform is about to be inaGgurated m the colleges and schools of this coun- try. Observing parents and those who are competent to judge are growing tired of the stuffing process which has been going on in our publIc schools for the past ten years. It has been found that the average graduate of our mod ern public schools possesses really less useful knowledge than those who learned a few common branches in the old dIs- trict log schoolhouse of thirty or forty years ago. In those days but few branches were taught, but the pupil be- came thorough in those few branches. Now our public schools endeavor to teach dozen distinct studies, and as result, in most cases, the pupil leaves the school with only a smattering of what be has endeavored to learn. The results of the present system have become so objectionable that con- plaints are being made from one end Of the land to the other, and the agitation IS likely to do good. So strong has public seutI- ment grown against the stuffiDg system, that it has reached such educational institutions as Yale College, the faculty of which are directing the minds of students to more practical subjects for study and composition. The topics for the Townsend prize contest in compost tion as announced are "ReguiatiOn of Iter-State Commerce" Strikes" "Re- cent decision of the Supreme Court on the Civil Rights Bill, and government control of the telegraph"
 This change in one of the leading educational institutions in this country, supplemented by the growing impress sions Cf cur leadinl educators of the uselessness of studying the dead lan- guages, will revolutonize our educa- tional system, and enable the coming student to obtain a better and more useful education in four or five years, than is now obtained from eight to twelve, and that too, without coming ont of college a broken down man, be- fc-e he has entered upon the affairs of life.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
THE ROAD TO THE QU1JoToAs.

The so called short cut 10 the Quijo- toa mlnes v1a St. Joseph's hospital, is a myth The bonanza camp is twenty miles south of Tucson, anG whenever you start north to reach the Quiiotoa mines you go two miles out of the way for every mile travelled. The present route can be shortened from a half to two Or three miles at intervals along the way, but the main road cannot be changed or improved upon. The road in the Santa Cruz bottom, for distance of three mil9s, should be put in good order by the county board, or by the citizens of Tucson, and this is about all that is necessary or required. The present road to the Quijotoa mines IS hard and firm, and without doubt for the distance the pest in the Territory. Itis on such firm ground that the hardest rains will not effect it, nor will it become dusty as most Arizona roads do, and those who talk about other and more direct routes don't know what they are talking about
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
ArnX MntferS.

Leave of absence for one month i. granted Major B. T. D. Irwin, Surge 2 U. $. Army, Medical Director Of the De- partment
 During the absence of Major B. J. D. Irwin, Surgeon U. 5. army, Firs. Lieu tenant George McCreery, AssistfD. Sur geon U. $. army, will, ID addition 10 other duties, take charge of she office of the Medical Director of tle Depart ment.
 Second Lieutenant B. K Fest, Sixth Cavalry, is appointed ReGultiDg Officer at Fort Apache, to dat, the l6th in stant.
 Second Lieutenant T. R. Rivers, Third Cavalry, will proceecto Fort Verde 10 attend to garrison cCdrt martial duty.
 Captain c. 5. Hoberts, Seventeenth Infantry Acting A ,Lde-Camp, is granted leave of absence for seven days to date from the 26th izstant.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

THEY tell about valley in New South Wales, which spreads out into a great amphitheater fifty miles across, and hemmed in on every side but one with perpendicular walls of the mountains. No human foot has ever been known to tread this valley, as it cannot be reached from below, by reason of a second preci- pice. Now if that valley was in the United States, there would be no less than a score of yankees down in it in less than ten days, and they would have rope tFamways reaching to the bottom ill thirty days, and in less than six months a good cable road leading down and squatters on nearly every quarter section, with embryo towns and cities, watering places and resorts in every nook and corner.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

HE friends of General Mackenzie have made preparations for sending that unfortunate officer to the military insane asylum. He has long been afflicted with neuralgia and nervous affections induced by severe wounds during the war, which were aggravated by exposure of frontier service and by residence in New Mexco. His con- tinued mental depression excites the gravest apprehension of his friends, who fear that even should he recover from such present postratiun he will be in- capaeitated for active service. His un- fortunate condition is greatly deplored by bis many friends in Arizona.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

THE question of distances between Tucson and other points on the South ern Pacific railroad and the Quiiotoa mines has been definitely settled, and the difference is in favor of Tgcson four miles by the present route, winch may be shortened threeIor four miles more. F. Adams, of Florence, measured the dis tance with a roRdometer from Casa Grande, which registered eighty-three- miles to Weldens camp. A gentleman measured the distance from Tucson with a similar instrument which regis tered seveDty-fve mics to Weldon's camp, thus proving beyond doubt what the CITIZEN has always claimed-that Tucson was the nearest point that could be reached on the railroad.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
MR. HUNrINeToS's LETTERS.


 There has been much cheap talk about the Huntington letters, but after all what great secrets do they portray IT what new light have they thrown upon the mode adopted to secure the passage or defeat of measures in Congress? In all of these 400 letters there is no evidence that any member was bought. Mr. Huntington does. however, lr' vague way, speak If the expenditure of money Tn Washington, but It was without doubt spent ss most roilroad corpora- tions spend money, in banquetlrg and feastIng members the same as Scott dld, the same as did the Union Pacific, the Kansas Pacific, the Missouri Kansas and Texas, the Sioux City, the Northern Pacifc-in fact every line that had any favors to ask from the government.
 By reading the comments of the San Francisco Chronicle and some of the journals of the East, without stopping to consider or investigate into the facts, one would very naturally coms to the conclusion, that the government had been robbed by the Southern Pacific. What was Huntington doing, dur ing the time that these let ters were written? Simply trying to defeat Tom Scott in his efforts to foist one of the greatest swindles on the people of the United States that any man ever attempted. In addition to the im- mense land grant he had secured he was eudeayo-ing to have the govern ment endorse S4O,0O0,00J worth of Texas Pacific bonds. With land grant of about 4j,0OO,O00 acres, and government bonds of SiO,000,O0O, he would build the Texas Pacific railroad through to the Pacific, making San Diego the terminus of the road. This is the scheme that Huntington defeated, and whether i, was accomplished by large or small amount of money, 1t was a good work for the country, and instead of being condemned, he should receive the thanks of the people for f.
 Prior to the date of the Huntington letters, the Southern Pacific had been built to the Colorado river, and with the exception of small land grant in California, received no aid from any source. They asked nothing from the government save the right of way through Arizona. The Southern Pacific railroad company, without aid from any source whatever, built the road from Los Angeles through to New Orleans, and fl Is the only overland road that has been built without gov ernmeut aid. If the Southern Pacific had been the recipient of large dona- tions of land or money from the govern ment, then there would be some reason fo, the abuse that is being heaped upon NIT. Huntington. But as the read re- ceived nothing, and never asked for any thing, We fail to see any reason or cause for abusing Huntingt ton for wut- ing letters which concerns nobody ex- cept those who were interested with him in building the road. It is true that he spoke rather slightiDgly of number of members of congress, but in most cgses they deserved what they got, and We have no doubt that there are thousands of other letters extant writer by other rarties who knew what they were writing about that would show the members of that body up in a much more un- favorable light than those of Mir. Hun- tington.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

GEORGE CONKIIN, the expert elephant trainer of Coles circus, has succeeded iu teaching one of his elephants to read and obey written instructions. In other words. the animal has been taught to read. To still further illustrate its near approach to the lords and masters of the universe, it will be taught to drink whisky, smoke and swear. after which it will reform and take the lecture field.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

A SON of ex-ConGressman Cole, of St. Louis, who resides in Oregon. Is visiting his old home, and has greatly excited the St. Louis reporters by telling them of the great Cour d'Alene gold dis coveries near Portland. He informed the tenderfeet that "by midsummer 20,000 prospectors and miners will be in the field" If Coles prediction proves true, there will be great many "mid- summer dreams" near Portland about that time.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

THE accession spirit is certainly rain- ing ground in Manitoba. Even the 5alti ts Of that country are desirous of separating from the east Canada church, because ot the apathy shown in the mis- ziou work of the northwest, and mite with the American Baptist church. In discussing this question and after IT, solving upon the change, the promoters nrgs that ''the motto of the American Home Mission society is North Ameri- ca for Christ, that a catholis spirit can embrace us, and however keenIy we may feel the separation, and however deeply we may regret the circumstances which led % it, the necessity of the work, our duty to Christ and our adopted land, r,main to control these feelings and these regrets"
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

GOVERNOR BEN BUTLER has stepped "down and out, and Governor Robinson has been inaugurated as executive of Massachusetts. Butler Is not yet en- tirely reconciled to his defeat at the Itoirs, anu IS e {, llss fcl- tii c..Tse. We would suggest, as a possible elloidasIon of the mystery, that Beujamln take a solemn review of the pictures that hang on his memOry's walls, along tine dim corridor of musty time, and perchance he will see himself as one of thirteen to a political banquet, circumstance full of evil omen.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

IT IS stated that Dr. Griffin, the father-in-law of Mary Anderson, is doir z a noble work for Kentucky in sunry England. He IS introducing to the favor of the royal household the super for qualities of Kentucky sour mash whisky. and from the well known energy of the Prince of Wales in elevating his glass, it is expected that Kentucky will reap a whirlwind of royal promises to
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

AN exchange says: Speaker Carlisle favors Chicago as the location of the Democratic National Convention. This proves that his head is level on some subjects" Yes the democrats always con- gregate where good whisky and abounti- tul supply can be had. They may exhaust the supply of Chicago yet they are still within three hours run of Peoria, the largest whisky makers in the world.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

To GET correct estimate of General Crooks service to Arizona, it Is only nec- essary to consider the situation when he arrived and the situation at the close of the year.-Star.
 Yes, that Is all that is necessary, and the conclusion IS "unanswerable." 1" When Crock came to Arizona business ,Z brisk; merchants were doing we'll; 'Snuch capital was seeking investment in Cachise ana Graham counties, as well as every other section Of the Territory. But at the close of the year there was general stegnation of business. such as was never before known in Arizona. The CITIZEN fully agrees with the Star tha! "it is only necessary to consider the situation when ho arrived and the situa- ton at She close of the year."
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

IRE Star says the "renegades of the reservation, who were safely fortified in the Sierra Madres," have all been forced back to the San Carlos reservation. The Star IS correct for once. The cold weather, the Mexican troops and the tempting comforts of San Carlos were too utterly irresistible to the hungry and pardoned murderers.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

IT is said that the attack now being made on Attorney General Brewster, Brewster Cameron, Joel Bowen and United States Marshal Tidball was in- spired by \. B. Norton, ex-United States Marshal of the northern district of Texas. It Is said that ''it was upon the report Of Captain Tidball and Joel Bowen that Norton was removed, ard az he is an uncle of Congressman Hurd, the inference is that the nephew Is try ing to re-instate the uncle by an effort to malign the characters of the two inves- tigators through n congressional ex- parte investigation"
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

PADDY RYAN stIgmatizes Sullivan as a cur, and threatens to pull his nose end indulge in the luxury of a rough and tumble fight the next time they meet The world awaits their mutual annIhl. lation with impatient anxiety.
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
Wented fhe Time

Fastjr pouDdiRS sf 6ts 3g 9tTsst H@,5A & 2. n
 rBsbld si to ttntsGP~lng on dressipg, ,'so5 so do4r aWbo Who is 'f tbd sne window and denoa; EU~n; h' t;,,o n9 ,, is ,neIe: I want to Ll nded ment in'tbe fse fsee response from tbs anoS VII. the customer. .sWPilIar tones of a frednn,ee. pave such a question s 8. time Of n1ght 4o to .oy oy .sd Is5G sBog5 BoT10TGES5 eo@. We s5S 5SSPed lii the in husky accents, vas tie rejoin51ena SG1n 'a'oH' 'OuVe got my
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05
How Teller Was Appointed.

Mir. Burnett, who was MT. Teller's prI- vate secretary when that gentleman was in the senate, relates to Cleveland Her ald reporter what he declares to have been the exact circumstances of his pat ron's appointment to a cabinet office. Senator Teller had been strongly urging the appointment of ex Senator Chsffee, asking it of the President as a matter of political policy and personal favor to himself, when cue day the President sent for him and said that he had de- c'ded that he could not invite Mir Chai- fec into his cabinet, but" he added, as Mr. Teller, flushed and piqued, rose to depart, "I have also decided that unless Henry M. Teller accepts my appoint nent as Secretary of the Interior that office will remaln vacant during my en- tire presidential term" In vain NIT. Teller protested that he could not &C., eep. .ls .Ss,,.sa bs had sought for an- s.Ts- "I will see that Mr. Chatfee and
 ,S O-4-s,--s---t-..a.S-x -xalE pcsltlQp. k' just one reason why I insist on having lou in my cabinet"
Arizona weekly citizen., 1884-01-05

BY the way, what has become of that Topeka man who owned lot Tn Las Vegas that was underlaid with gold. It will be remembered that he telegraphed such a statement all over the country Il few weeks ago, yet We see TO change in the quotations of the price of gold.