The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-01-16
A HUNTING EXCURSION.
spoopendyke Asks His wife 10 Pack
His Valisc,

|
"Say, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, gently, cant you pack valise
Tor me, NSpecklewottle and are going
duckhuntfng, now that the other fellows
are 'an home.p
\ 'Oh rny!" squealed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, dropping her crazy quilt in all
directions. 'Promise me you won't
takea gun
Whats the matter with the wo-
mani inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke, los
ing his cheerfulness and eyeine his
wife CRITICALLY. "A gun! what dye
s'pose we'd do with guns. No, we take
salt, Mrs. Spoopendyke; salt, | say, and
we climb trees and lay il on their tails
We're after the breed Of ducks that
roost in tree tops like dod gasted owl.
Undef#Andpr
| 'Ohio Yhurmured his wife, resuming
her EFFORT Of working forget me nots
with green silk, That Is much nicer,
and then they won't be full of little bull
let's like those YOU bought last week.
But be careful il it SHOWS and come
home. The paper says"
'Dod CAST what the paper says"
snorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. With
your knowledge Of the weather and the
science Of gunnery you only need a
little less intellect and little more
pocket money to be whole signal Ser
vice. But-see here, did your paper
cay anything about q gifted female get
ting her husbands valise packed by
the next Presidential electionp"
Certainly dear" responded Mrs.
spoopendyke, Juggling at the huge bag
her husband brought In. and finally
placing IL on the table. Now what
will you takep"
Take" roared Mr., Spoopendyke-
take" he repeated as the snormity Of
his wife's obstinacy and ignorance be-
gan to dawn upon him. hJust put me
up swallow-tailed coat and Revised
Edition, chuck in linen buster and
prayer book; remember prayer book
and not measly old hymn book
These ducks we're after are all Of the
English church and won't stand any
fooling on the articles of faith"
That's right, he yelled, as his obedl-
ent wife damned down the dress coat;
chats the kind of wife. Don't sup
pose those ducksll be any more i'm
pressed by nv appearance In hunting
boat Don't imagine for an instant
that those birds will know the difference
between Spoopendyke with frozen ears
and straw hat and all those traps I've
wasted wealth on to protect my health"
"And you'll need your new slip
pers," continued Mrs Spoopendyke,
meditatively, her finger ON her lips,
'your new tie with polka dots"--
You've hit 1t nowr' yelled Mr..
spoopendyke, sprlnging up like ball.
"fou'v We got it. I'm going out to
swell entertainment. These ducks are
going to give New England dinner
and Henry Ward Beecher and 1 are
going to make speeches on the advance
ment Of duck and the evolution Of fowl,
Say, Mrs. Spoopendyke" continued
her husband, dropping into ferocious
calm, do you think those ducks are
giving german out Ia the swamps or
indulging in Italian opera In the marsh
es Of Long IslandP Well, they're not;
and they're not giving rneasly socia-
BILE, either Consequently, Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, I'll be forced TO ask you
TO pack that receptacle as | shall
dictate" and Mr.. Spoopendyke flung
himself in q chair and glsred. while
his wife proceeded 10 pack under his
instructions.
where are you going TO put that'"
he demanded, as his wife carefully
folded his shooting coat.
"Why here in the bottom, because
"No you don't" interrupted Mr..
Spoopendvke. II want that on top
whore it will be handy and-what are
you doing with that'' he calculated,
as Mrs Spoopendyke picked up box
Of cigars
why, dear, III put these at the
bottom and the lighter articles"
mot if Spoopendyke is in full pos
session Of his faculties want that
and my bottle Of brandy on top in case
Of accident Think I'm goir to hsb
forty days and forty nights as did the
prophets OF Ola, TOT tn0Se necesSlIles
OF life' Think I'm going to perch all
night in tree like dod gasted wood
chuck just because you won't put my
clothes where ! can find them
But, my dear, pleaded Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, they can't all 60 on top
Cant ehn' bswled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, leaping from his chair. Cant
have my own buds where they'll pro
tect me from the wintry blasts'n and
he commenced playing football with
his wife's quilt
Bring me the rneasly IDIOT that said
a man was king in his own castle"
and ne made new departure in spat-
ter work as Mrs, Spoopendyke's ink
stand struck the wall Show me the
relic of the stone age that claimed wo-
man was born to comfort and command,
and last in the procession trot out the
dod gasted fool that first trusted a wo-
man to pack a valise," and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke's apparel described circles like
juggler's balls as he plunged into bed
and buried his head in the pillow.
81 don't care, " muttered Mrs. Spoop-
endyke, trying on her new Jersey, "he's