The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-05-18
FEMININE FANCIES.
A Number Of Notes Concern.
ing the Sex.

A Number of Notes Concern.
ing the Sex.
Glove fighting is called manly sport,
probably because women do tbeil
fighting without glover.
A Philadelphia organ grinder has
sued woman for libel. In a mo.
ment of evaporation she called his
poor little unofsndieg monkey a
dude.
A Maine girl, since her return from
the academy" has shingled the
barn, the old mans hair, AMI the sea.
|! OF her little brothers. trousers. Some
young fellow ought to pay her board.
sit is now settled" says an ex
change, "thst q newly married lazy
ceases to be bride and simply be.
comes q wife when she has sewed a
button on her husbands Clothes" l.
is this fact that makes ns such happy
people. The country is full OF brides
Mrs. Flirtabout has learned to take
things philosophicslly. When she
was told of a letter. full of love. tina.
her recreant spouse (had written to a
strange fair ons. she said. ''Ha! he
used to write Just such letters to me
before We we're married He doesn't
care anything about her,"
They sit DO more in the psrlor, where
They s>t by the glowing CRATE.
But thew stand and talk in the starlight
fair,
AS they swing on the old front gate.
And the old man weeps, and his bitter
tears
Bring never balm to his soul;
It will cost him more for gates. be fears,
Than is did last month for coal.
A Bismarck young man told an old
maid che wss "a matchle g woman"
and she smiled 60 sweetly over the
com pliment that her mouth stretched
to its utmost capacity. After be had
gone it occursedsto her that there was
another meaning to the expression.
and the next time that young man
Gale there will be sickening trsdgedy
to record.
At recent dinner given in Paris
number Il poets present wrote son.
nets upon the fans of the ladies' That
is an excellent idea. If such a scheme
coold only be worked upon in this
country, TO induce the average poets
to put his verses on ladies fans instead
Of botbering the editors, it would be
a blessing that would cause even the
angels to send up glad shout OF
thanksgiving.
A gentleman in Richmond, Va,
hab a servant named Joe. One morn.
ing he lag in bed till 9 O'Clock. but
20 Joe and no fire. The impossible
ty of shaving with water thirty de-
grees below freezing point brought
imprecations on the tsrdy domestic's
head, when the door opened, and
Aunt Polly leisurely began to light the
fire.
where in thunder (the historian
is nothing If he is not accurately sis
that son OF yours? I've been waiting
two blessed hours"
Now. Marse Tray, you must 'cuse
Joe," said his mother to her most
conciliating tones-''you must really
'cuse Joe dis mornin'-Joe dead."-
Editors Drawer, in Harper's.
ToMBoYs.
Can girls help being tombo5s when
Even in names they copy menu;
Fair Joseph enc smokes cigarettes
And fires stones and whistles;
Sweet Georgie-anna often bets,.
And, when she looses, bristIes.
Prim Esrry.et doth loudly bang
And always makes q hustle;
Gay Fred eIiks uses slang
And likewise, too, her muscle.
Bright Will hemina tries to pun
And chews sweet gum to back her;
Matilda climeth trees for fun
And shoots fire. crscker.
Paul-ene talks politics with heat
And voting she desires;
And Phil lis has q mustsche sWes.
Which all, but she, admireF.
Miss Ei-na wears her brothers. hat
And shouts with pleasure hearty,
And once she wore bis trousers at
A msrquersding party.
But Henry -etts, fairest dove,
Acquires the CONNECTION
As Tom boy, for she msketh love,
And therefore is perfection.
QUEEN vIcroRIA's BOOK.
April Brown came in this morn
ng with large plscard on bis back,
Which bore the initials IN. G." When
called his:attention to it, he was real
angry, and said he supposed it was
lone by the prime minister. or some.
BODY. | shall ask Mr.. Gladstone
Ibout it. April 10-I sent tor Brown
md read him this journal for year.
Ie sat With eyes closed, nodding bis
lead whenever l came to favofite
,oSsaoo Ho thon said ha did mt |