The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-11-08

ideas and suggestions with pre-
ICrnaturnl qnickncss. But I could not
write n line. | could not steady my ut
fous enough to read n column OF
newspaper dispatches. The serial Ind
been finished some time before 'tlis-hn.
IN tho midst Of m agony which will
DO II horror 10 inc altlioughI live II thou
sand years. II some OF tho characters
rnne 10 q violent end II was only tho
reflex Of the thoughts that swclled
my soul.
TALK WAS A T0rruEE.
l dreaded the sight Of human beings. II
bored me unppcakably 70 talk or be talked
to. At my best | always hated CAB. Dur
Ing those months talk WIS n torture to me.
Many Il timo | walked squares out Of my
wayto avoid being spoken to bysonle one
| knew. 1 shrink from meeting strangers
10 this day. All this time good friends,
kind friends, were saying 10 me:
"You need cheerful company. Well
tip TO your room. You shutyoursel!
OIL alone too much" Il
Great heavens!
I used TO walk till I was ready to drop
with fatigue, hoping to tire myself out
and bring iorgctfulnrss. a story l Ind
IN childhood haunted my recollection. 1t
WITS OF Il Chinese merchant who hid mar
dercd his young bride. For punishment
le had been sentenced TO remain without
sleep till he died. lie sat in Il chair, sur
rounded by u guard armed with sharp
lanccs. II no showed symptoms OF nod
ding OF, these progged him with their
tances and pierced his skin. He lived
nineteen days, 1t was said, and died in
ravins torment. It was all US clear rs the
light OF day to me.
II | could have remained awake till |
died, like the Chinaman, well and good
Death would have been welcome; death
ut any cost would have been 4 glad re-
lease. But, us it was, [ slept by fits and
starts, perhaps two hours out OF the TWEEN
ty-foHr, and that kept mo alive, although
certainly endurcd all the torture 10 which
tile Ciinaman was subjected 10 me the
one good, tho unattainable, was rest and
oblivion. 0, Tor n nights sound sleep!
A voice in my soul, like tho tick OF a
clock, tollci, without ceasing, the words:
Heaven il III eternal slcep-leaven-is
-an-eternal-slecp." l suffered fright
full neuralsic pains in my head. There
were flashes OF indescribable eNaltation
OF spirit, followed by hours and days OF
depression, enough 10 drive one to
SUICIDE.
In truth that was the secret dread on
my mind day and night. feared lest. in
spite OF all my will power | should be
driven to scIi-destruction ut last. Better
people than l, famous men, had been
under the SAINT circumstances. The
thought entered into al my movements.
Hours were spent in walking the Clesa-
pe9};e sands. Igazed out upon the splen-
did, tWnLling, lion-likc breakers, and
longed to DO at rest. II one more beauti-
full, majestic and shining than the others
curlcd over and broke its white crest, l
thought how sucii IS that would carry the
oil my feet, toss III, about like driitwood
till it tired OF its play, and then cast me
upon the shore dead and stonc.cold. The
sen casts all things out upon the sands at
last.
| How easily it could happen. Would
they say it was accidental? Or would
women wag their heads as one l thought
ofpassed themund say, Suicides mother.'
Would the cruel street children search
after my child, Suicides boy" Suicides
boy?" Every device that could be sug-
gested was tried to bring sleep.
On the advice OF n marine surgeon l
used to pour out half u tumbler OF raw
whisky, dilutc it with a little water and
drink It. That helped a few nights, then
it sickened me andI gave it up. had re.
fused all alonGto take chloera, but even
that was tried ut last. chloral in orange
syrup, large quantities.
NEARLY a YEAR WITHOUT SLEEP.
The long spell OF w%akeiulncss began to
yield. TOOK the chloral very cautiously,
watching meanwhile like n hawk, lest it
should become a habit. That was more
to be dreaded than death. Then my ply
%sician, who had been watching. me with
profound interest, prescribed 4 mixture Of
vAlerian, bromide Of potash and bromide
OF ammonia, heavy doses to be taken. day
and night. Slowly, imperceptibiy, COM
pairing one week with another, I came
back to the world. / wore it out at last.
l had been threc-quarters OF a year with.
out one good nights sleep.
Coming back 10 the world, the flesh and
Lilc ucNll, tlc liiat tllUus!il was lOT c!UtlleS.
Il asked your sister where you were 50
long" said the dressmaker, sand she said
to me, I'm afraid Mrs. - %wiIl-never
want any more dresses l never felt 60
bad in my life. You've brought me all
my bes. customers"
You will laugh, but it was a tribute OF
genuine feeling.
l recovered all but my eycsight, which
has never been quite what it was. I sleep
soundly, thank heaven! But sometimes
the old horror comes back for n night. md
then I am afraid oisoing oragain. But |
never have done SO, and do not fear it now
much. 1 have gone back to work. !
write with greater ease and rapidity than
l even did before. But somehow the world
has never looked quite the same. For
n thing, the half.mesmcric sleep and the
flushing images and tablcaux have never
entirely disappeared. In n few instances
these hive been exact pictures OF trivial
incidents that actually took place n few
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