The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1884-02-01
COrns, ChiIblains, Etc.

Right Hon. Blackboard Scroggs re-
Gently addressed the Detroit Limekiln
Club upon the subject of corns and kin
dred annoyances, in substance as fol-
lows. according to reporter of the
Free Press:
1 FELLER NATIVES: My obieck in ar
rovin heah at dis pertickler time am to
discuss matter dat clusly consarns de
hull Guild race of dis kentry. De con
seems to be carniverous, omniverous,
an mighty familiar Oh short notice It
| lies down wild de rich, gifts up wild de
poo, an stands right by you widout
strikin' fur higher wages. What causes
co MS? In olden times de 10 N was sup
posed to be a speshul mark Of good
luck. De Teller who could show six or
seven of 'em on one heel was made
CUB 'nor ober province an allowed to
keep half a dozen dogs. DE little bunch
was said to contain a pearl seventeen
carrots fine, an people went round
cryin' an lamentin' bekase dey had no
cons.
I'm desc modern days we knoy
dat cons am caused by tenn
! porary suspenshun of de circu-
lashun of de blood, mixed wild mo or
less reackshun. So fur as we know de
pearls found on de inside can t be used
fur fish bat, an am darfo dead loss
TO de kentry. When you hear any one
gwine around cryin' you kin bet spot
ted calf agin peck Of dirt dat dey ain t
weepjn fur co MS.
ode chilblain differs SLIGHTLY from de
con, continued the orator, after drop
ping a troche into his mouth. st
do n bunch up an come to head in
one persickler spot. While de co n am
satisfied to cotch on to q toe an hang
dar' fur month or two, de chilblain
comes purrin' round de heel, good
natured as an ole cat. 1t kinder tickles
| we fur = day or two. an You step higher
an feel like taken your fadder out of de
poo house. But while you am wishin'
you could buy four hundred barrels of
! flour fur four hundred widders an orph-
ans dat chilblain begins to hunt around
fur mo- ground. After he kivers de
heel he creeps ford to de instep. skulls
to de toes, an ftlst You know you am
huntin' fur bute-jack an q currycomb.
He has come to stay all winter an late
| into spring. You can't coax, hire nor
scare him away. In olden days de chill
blain was supposed to arise from too
much brains in de head. De man who
had EN- was considered a sort of
double-ended statesman, an people
| looked up to bis heels as well as his
head. In desc times we know dat de
chilblain am caused by a sort of spon-
taneous emblematical corruscashun of
de epidermis at a critical period. All
dat brains has to do in de case am 10
Invent cure fur de complaint.
II had intended to disgress a few
translashuns on de subieck of bunions,
bow-legs, sittin' down on a dog an
| pickin' up hot cent in front of a sa-
loon, but | see de time allowed bv your
!rules am almost d spired. Let me add,
in conclushun, dat [ am parvided wild
a box of knives, gimlets, draw-shayes.
| pick-axes, acids, pincers an razers. to-
geder wild a full supply of salves, plas-
tiers. wax an so forth, an arter dc close
of de meetin' | shall be pleased to ex-
pertinent on all members free of cS-
pense. will now remark: Catna SOILS
c'traltcr pluribats Cicero freneas s57nili-
bus fiReral Jackson and thank Won for
vour needless attentions to my unfeel-
ing remarks.
-Hat tallnw will ra,nnva Had ink