The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1884-11-27
Street Corner Notes.


Street Corner Notes.
The old saw about two birds in the busl
not being as valuable as one bird IN thu
hand. was verified last week by couple o.
our learned Stauntoniaps. They had formed
a grand scheme for the wholesale capture
of ducks without the expenditure OF pow
der and shot. The scheme was secretly
concocted and intended to surprise the ma
| tlves by the success of its execution. Fish
hooks were to he employed In a mysterious
and very effective way, and the result was
expected to quite eclipse anything mere
tofore dreamed of in the philosophy OF the
trapper. All things being ready the en-
thusiastic twain repaired to a well-known
haunt of the waterfowls, and discovered a
long line of mallards occupying log. as
if they had taken up their position with a
view to being sacrificed at single shot.
The trappers had previously sworn, now
eyer. the one to the other. ana Doth upon
their sacred honor, that they would not
use their guns. and SO the ducks were
<.shooed" away, and the hooks SET. Inc
next morning, and it was the coloest OF
the season. the sportsmen started out for
a long and early drive. to gather IN the
game. When they arrived at the place.
shiverlng and uncertain. not a nook mad
been touched and nary mallard was In
sight. The recollection Of the day before
when they might have secured halt dozen
feathered beauties, nerved the experimental
tranpers to some warm profanity, and
very valuable invention for the capture Of
wild ducks is now offered on easy terms.
The grand army of the Every hungry
and very thirsty are on the war-path.
The age of petitions is upon US. For the
| mast week the streets have been alive with
anxious signature hunters, and store-hoxes,
lamp posts and building walls. have been
converted into impromptu stands for the
recording of autographs. The official count
of New York had not been completed ere
the patriots who are willing to serve the
country, and especially the incoming ad-
ministration, in fat positions, commenced
the crusade for the Staunton postoffice and
Internal Revenue department As yet
the candidates developed rs the early crop.
! are Messrs. n. II. Lynn. w. A. Burke,
and Carter Berkeley for the postoffice
whilst Representa-. Jno. n. Opie and +.
a. Baylor, ESQ, have signihed their will
lingness to have the duties OF Collector OF
Revenue thrust upon them. Each of these
gentlemen have had petitions circulated
and numerously signed. The chief draw
back to the securing of signatures has
been that almost every other full-fedged
Democrat is advising himself to be very
cautious and quietly erect little light
ming rod Of his own for the capture OF OF
fetal fluid. Singular as it. may seem, the
rage for petitions has completely stilled the
cry of Civil Service Reform, and the In
terpxi Revenue service has suddenly been
transformed into u thing OF beauty which,
it is now hoped. will remain joy forever.
After our Democratic friends have settled
it among themselves, tie President will
probably have something to say, and,
perhaps. the Senate will also be heard from.
In the meantime the harmless little cpl
demic now so prevalent will have passed
off without attacking more than three
fourths of the adult male population and
two thirds of the opposite sex. for we are
assured that neither age. sex, nor previous
condition are exempt from the contagi0n.
1.-The course of the Democratic party in
the last campaign" remarked promi-
nent local politician the other day, lin re-
fusing to engage in joint discussions, was
but the preliminary to the extinction of
the custom in Virginia. The North has
already abolished it. Competitors never
meet each other on the stump there and
those who want to hear both sides have to
attend separate meetings. This, l pre-
sumo, is the result of the ''higher civiliza-
ton" which is supposed to obtain in that
section. but as for my part l never want
to see the old southern practice laid on the
shelf. 1t doesn't frank with the duello
and other alleged relicts of barharism, and
/ see no good reason why it should not pre-
vail as long as there are two sides to the
question upon which the people have to
decide. Certain it is that one good result
is accomplished Neither representative
can afford to make false statements, or
even unduly exaggerate or distort facts.
His competitor, if the two are anywhere
near equally matched, is always able to
correct any mis-statements and bring the
party who makes them squarely to con-
fession before the audience he sought to de-
ceive. Nor can there be any false reports
circulated as to what this or that man
said, after the speaking is over. Another
good result is that if the auditor is really
seeking information and wants to know
the truth. he can have the best opportunity
of getting at it by hearing the arguments
and drawing his own conclusions. He, at
least, has the advantage of weighing the
reasons respectively advanced, and judging
for himself which is the better. Politics,
however, have gotten to such low level
that the last thing aimed at is argument
and reason, and, / presume, the conse-
quence will be that the old joint discus
sions will become thing of the past, and
unrestricted lying become the order of the
day." With this gloomy prediction, the
political prophet turned on his heel and
disappeared behind q screen.
COUNTY CoURT.-The November term
of the County Court-Judge Stout pre-
siding commenced on Monday last. The
following is asummary of the proceedings
Probate.-The will of Jordan NJ. Moor
man was admitted to probate, with Edwin
S. Norman as Executor. The will of
Robert 3. Harris was admitted to probate,
with Joseph H. Rankin as Executor. The
will of Jacob G. Roller was admitted to
probate. with Mrs. Henrietta Roller as