The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-04-17
nUMOR.

long % tucy nfo NV P"ies A~1, "A&"s -
great credit business shoes dealers must
do.-The Hoosier.
BANK cashiers who are afflicted with
O mania for speculation are very apt to
grow careless and leave of the IS" In
observation-disclosures Siftings.
HUSBAND, you'll have to go and call
that boy yourself. / can't mike him
get up. He sleeps as if he were a log. "
"Oh, well, Maria, the boy can't help it.
It's fate. He was born to be o police
man."
SIN all wool and q yard wide |"
shouted q cowboy, as he gave his SOM
brero an extra side hitch and looked
around for a foe. THAT may be, re-
piled an undaunted female, "but you
won't wash"
WHEN Mrs. Homespun read that
Mary Anderson had abandoned "The
Hunchback, she remarked: "You
can't really blame her. 1t would have
been too bad for a pooty gal like her
to marry a hunchbackp
"IF you lay down on board will
You not have soft bedl" asked the
joker of his wife. To which she un-
hesitatingly replied: "Of course it will
be soft if you lay down on it." She
was used to him.
VIcTIM Ito dentist -"Good heavens
man, that is the second sound tooth you
have pulled" Dentist (to victim)-"I
beg your pardon, sir, but as you had
only three when / commenced 1 think 1
shall make no mistake this time"
WOMAN is so built that she but sell
dom can throw straight. Providence,
it is truly said orders everything for
the best, and, after husband has
seen one tin-cup sail harmlessly by his
head, he eau run before she can snatch
up another.
He babe her good-by at the door, and
promised to return in one week from
that day to accompany her to the par
son, who would tie the knot that would
make them one. II will return, my
darling" he said, as he tied a string
around his finger. - Carl PretzePs
Weekly.
HER little fairy hand be pressed
And gazed into her bright blue eye:
She nestled softly on breast,
NY precious Belief" cried Claude in grief;
Tell what this secret sadness means;
Speak, angels What can give RELIEF !"
She sweetly murmured, Pork and Deans
Oh CITY BLIZZARD.
Ere many weeks shall pass away,
The snow,
Which now makes coasters madly gay.
Will 20,
And then tie skaters best Of friends,
The ice,
Which now beneath their bodies bends
So nice
VIII melt and mingle with the stream,
And all that's left viii; be dream.
-NeU York Journal
LoNG-HEADED MIR. JOHNSON.
Mr.. Johnson had daughter,
Lulu Minnie Mabel
To attract some IN "A to marry
Her he was unable.
He was wealthy, lived at Newport,
Owned costly stable
Had within his ample cellar
Wine OF every label.
Still no strephon came a-wooing
Luu Minnie Mabel
Who sat pining in her satin,
Velvet, silk, and sable.
| Mr. Johnson said: L never
Knew, in song or fable,
One so hapless "a my daughter,
Lulu Minnie Mabel"
| Mrs johnson. talking loudy,
Could have slenced label
Asking wherefore no one courted
Lulu Minnie Mabel.
! Watching down the winding roadway.
Lulu Minnie Mabel
Saw no lover on his palfrcy
From the lonely gable.
| Shall send" said Mr.. Johnson,
| over by the cable,
For the noble Duke of SOmer-
| Sault to marry MabelY"
| But instead, his house he furnished
| With billiard table;
| Welded was that very winter
Lulu Minnie Mabel.
-Nelc ! ork Sun.