davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13
CetewnyO's Appetite.
How the Old Man Enjoyed Himself While
 fin England.
 From the Pall M All Budaat

How the Old Man Enjoyed Himself While fin EagIand.
 From the Psll Mall Budget
 s'So my old friend is dsad?" said MT.
 Whiteley, through the telephone which en- ables him and all of the 3, 900 subscribers to the Union Telephone Exchange to hold con versation from any part of London with the occupant of the telephonic chamber of this journal Dead really this time; for he was dead before and came to life again, much to Mr. Gladstones s delight, if remember rightly. Astonishing what admiration these two great men had for each other. My old guest at Melbury road was noble savage, who was very proud of having met the Prime Minister. He was grand, kind gentleman was his variation upon the G. O. M., and in this, as in other things, the Zulu improved upon the Englishman.
 N0, thank you, I was not thinking of his appetite. That he picked up in London. He did not bring 1t with him to Africa. When he first arrived his daily ration of three and 8 half pounds of beef contented him Before he left his regular allowance had riss1 to seven and a half pounds per diem Re greatly admired English beef. How much he would have eaten at last if he had stayed much longer no one knows But this huge mass of fresh meat looks larger than it was in real ity because of the way in which 1t Is fr1zzled in cooking. Oete Sayo was very particular about his cooking. The beef had to be cut in steaks two inches thick and cooked until it was as hard and as dry as toast; then 1t Was eaten by itself Cstewayo also made sep arate course of each article of food. He would have beef as one course, sweet potatoes as c the next then beans and melted butter, and soforth Ia drink he was particalarlyfond of champagne, although he had no objection to whisksy. You know how eloquently he iiscoursed to @ temperance deputation about she curse of intoxicants and his earnest de- sire to keep them outside of Zululsnd If his desire to keep rum outside of Zululand was half as keen as his desire to put cham paRne inside the corporation of one partic- ular Zulu whom I know well, Cetewayo must, indeed, have been one of the most zealoUs Maine law men on record. When he left this country he had added two English words to his native vocabulary. One was good night and the other was 'fzz', ,and of the two he most loved fzz. I will remember the night of the day upon which Cetewayo received official intimation of his restoration. It waa great day with him and he was in on- usually good spirits. When he came home nothing could restrain him from his bolster gus satisfaction. We allowed him a little more liberty than usaal, for, after all dis crowned kings in exile have only one day in which they hear that they are to be restored to their throne. He was allowed to eat and drink pretty much as he liked, and he aEailed
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13
BORROWED,

Boarding house keepers complain that very few of their guests have any respect for Lent.-Phil. Call.
 A Vermont man has been married six times, and he's the citizen they always get to go first in bear hunt.-Boston Post.
 A convention of barbers was broken up because one man said he had a raZorlution he desired to ooffer.-Merchant Traveller
 Links of Loye'' is a very pretty heading for wedding notice. The real lynx of love is the watchful jealous wife, or the equally Vigilant husband.-PittsburR Telegraph.
 ''Yes, my dear" said Mrs. Ramsbottom, speaking of her invalid uncle, 'tthe poor old gentleman has had 8 stroke of parenthesis, and when last saw him he was in . state of comma. ."-Boston Post.
 "Chat lady in garnet is rather attractive Why doesn't she get married?" asked gen tleman at the ball last week ''Yes,' re piled Maxfeld Bean, 'sbeen engaged sever al years-reminds me of one of the suburbs of Acknowledgements '-Melrose Journal.
 ''Hello. Blinks; we have been discussing the question of veracity," said Blobson as his friend joined the little group. 'pll bet a quarter Blinks don't know what that meansI" exclaimed Popipjay, observing the blank look on the newcomers face 'Don't, eh?'' cried Blink. "Why, I spent halt my time. when was in the legislature arguing on the other side of that very uestion!''-Burling- ton Free Press.
 ''Tll never go in there again. said coun- tryman, as he came out of drug store look ing very mad.
 ''What's the matter?" he was asked.
 ''Why, my girl told me to buy her bottle of perfumery the first time I came to town, and I went iR there and called for it, and the clerk asked me what kind I wanted. and I left if t0 him and ha Eoid ho1 hak< ka1-. her new-mown hay. Gall.
 Say, conductor!" yelled a strappine big farmer as the ticket-taker, who was awfully bow-legged, hobbled do VII the aisle
 ''Well, sir, what's the matter?" he asked, turning quickly around and retracine his steps.
 Want to make some mone5?" grinned the gigantic stranger.
 II wouldn't object. What sort of a scheme is it?"
 "oh, it's nothing to me; 1t only concerns yourself"
 ''Why, what can do?'
 ''Go to some country seat and let yourself out as a croquet wicket" said the toll -tiller, lodging the conductors punch.-Drake'a Travellers Magazine.
 Your Uncle Tilden, my son, now stands in the attitude of disguised race horse at the county fair. His mane raggedly trimmed, his tail stuck full with decsitful burrs his shapely Hanks concealed by ragged blanket, hitched into farm buggy with an old har- ness of rope and leather; and his driver de- claring that he has "just come in from the farm to look at the races" and that s'his hoss' can't run, and won't run, and never did run, bat by gum he's good mind to let him go round once, just to see what there is in i'm, if some gentle man with good "hoss' will just go round beside him to kinder put him on his mettle. 1" Never take too big odds against the strange horse. my son, and don't be too sure that your Uncle Tilden isn't just to get on the track and run, merely because bis jockey g say that he isn't.-Burlington Hawkeye.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13
} E
BILIOUS N ESS.

Bilious symptoms invariably arise from indigestion, such as furred tongue, Vomiting of bile, giddiness, sick headache, irregular bowels. The liver seeretes the bile and acts like a filter OF sieve, to cleanse i'm purtties of the blood. By ir- regularity in it's action or sus- pensions Of its functions, the bile is liable to overflow into the blood, causing jaundfee, salloW complexion, yellow eyes, bilious diarrhsa, a lan- guid, weary feeling and many other distressing symptoms. Billousness may be properly termed an affection of the liver, and can be thoroughly cured by the grand regulator of the liver and biliary organs, BURD0CK BLOOD BTTTERS. Act upon the stomach, bowels and liver, making healthy bile and pure blood, and opens the cul- verts and sluiceways for the outlet of disease. Sold every- where and guaranteed to cure.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13
however, there will not be much damage of this kind done.

The new arm just issued by the English Ordnance department is called the Martini- Enfield rife. It is quite different from the Martini Henry rifle. The mechanism of the lock is virtually the same in both rifles, only that the Martini Enfield has g safety bolt. The back sight has been improved. This sliding sight is graded for differences of every quarter and half hundred yards be- tween 800 and l, 800 yards There is also . sliding wind gauge. The greatest change is, however, to be found in the reduction of the bore, and corresponding diminution in the bullet, the charge remaining the same as be- fore. The Martini Henry has bore of O.45 inch diameter, and is ri1ed in what is known as the Henry system. The Martini Enfield has in number, the ball turning once in fifteen inches. The new bullet weighs only 34s grains, while the old one was of 48O grains. As to accuracy the new arm at one thousand yards is said to bs more reliable than the Martini-Henry at i've hundred. It is heavy weapon.
 The PeEseveTanza, an Italian journal, gives the rich girls of America some good advice, which some of them need. It speaks of the passion for 8 coronet which some of these girls have and says: The lovely and cultured American girls will do well not to allow themselves to be led away by the splendor of such titles. All is not gold that glitters. We know too we'll how often such marriages have turned out most unhappy. Even among the names which we know are some which recall memories sad enough. In many cases legal separation was the only expedient by which worse evils could be avoided. One of the ladies, we remember, was compelled by her noble husband to ask for divorce for the simple reason that he wished to contract new marriage more in conformity with bis lineage. Another was deserted by her unfaithful husband before the honeymoon WAS over because he could not endure the monotony of married life, having been accustomed to dissipate his in orgies. Many will remember wildly the sad story of poor woman whom her iiIustrious husband had shut up ia mad-house from which she would never have escaped living if the American consul resident in the same city had not acted energetically in the affair. Bat no consul would hinder another most noble husband from marrying, shortly after the death of his American wife, 8 noto- tious Parisian demi monde, and putting un- der her care the little daughter of the dead wife. Another gentleman carried away the diamonds of his unhappy wife while she was actually dying.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13
COMMUNICATIONS.

The Mechanical Industries of the Unit ed
 States.
 To the Editor of the JOURNAL AND COURIER:
 Seeing so much of what consider errone- ous being sent abroad among our people re- garding what is termed tariff on imports, can but say few words on the subject.
 In the first place claim that no we'll wish CT of his country's good should fail to do all in his power to encourage it's mechanical in- dustries. On those industries surely depends our prosperity as individuals and as nation. Yes, all those among us putting forth such strenuous efforts to discourage our mechapi- cal industries, if allowed to proceed to suc- cess, may as well be turning their vision to- wards the debris of fallen republic The union of these States is only assured by keeping the people at work. The industries pertaining to the mechanic mast be protected from the pauper labor of other countries. The prosperity of all classes among us- professional as well as agricultural mercan- tile and commerclal-an depend on the in- dustrial pursuit of the mechanic If duty on the importation of productions of other countries stimulates and encourages our me- chanlcal enterprises, why oppose? So soon as we commence and succeed in the manufsc- ture of an article we may date decrease in it's price. For instance, take the article of fine PASNOS 60kA0 practical personal knowledge, and put on its importation duty so high as to amount to prohibition, I have not the least doubt but that in less time than one year the goods would lie in our market for at least 20 per cent. less than at present. Because why The manufacturer here would have reason able expectation that orders would not be sent abroad, and consequently hs could safe ly put more labor and capital into the busi- ness, he then having the liberty of supplying the market that we and our fathers have been the means of creating. These opposers of what they term protecting the capitalist have no valid ground to stand upon. Look over the past history of that section of our coun try where the people have nuIlified national laws calculated to encourage mechanical in- dustries-yes to John O. Calhoun may be attributed the sewing of that seed which produced the rebellion that so nearly caused the fall of our republic. Had that powerful mind been exerted in the opposite direction it's possessor's name would have hsen handed
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13

TUX SALE
 1 A GORDON and Labsnaque Setter. nine- ZxOH teen months old, healthy, docile and hand some is a fine retriever superior pet for child, and is trained to under 8 carriage will be sold reasonakly Address BOX I,O69, Birmingham. Conn.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13

The lottery business foutishes irI Italy. Last year 220, 922, $50 tickets weNre sold v the lottery offices in that countG,- on Mich 71, ,s26, ,6s3 francs were staked. being francs A centimes on an average for each of the 29. 900, ,O0o inhabitants. The winnings on these ventures amounted to A All, 528 francs leaving net profit of 27,415.154 francs to the State. Only forty-four winnings were above 10, 600 fran cs each, the highest two being ons of 7s ,o0o francs made in Turin, and the other of 50, 900 francs in Naples.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13

A man named List, who killed citizen of Delaware in fight about woman, and who was to have been hung at Wilmington to- morrow, has been respited by the governor until 194o. List is only twenty-five years old, but 1t is not probable that he will ever be hung.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13

An amendment to the Massachusetts con- stitution abolishing the poll tax has been reported from a legislative committee. It is not likely to receive two-thirds vote.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13

Editors in German Poland are learning whaG Bismarck's liberty of the press is. One of them has spent five months of the past year in prison and has six months more in prospect. Another has been condemned to eleven and one-third months imprisonment. third is now in prison for fifteen months, a fourth for three months, and fifth for four months total in figures of three years and eight and one-third months i'm prisonment for editors in one year. Only two political papers exist in Posen with edi- tors not in prison.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13

A novel suit has just been decided in Charlotte, North Carolina. Seven years ago J. M. Turrentine brought suit against the Richmond and Danvills Railroad company for ten thousand dollars damages for the loss of his voice, and jury has given him yer dict for $2, 500. Turrentine was travelling on the road In the capacity of route or mail agent and alleges that he contracted cold which subsequently, caused the loss of his voice, His allegation was in effect that the coponenv furnished him with 8 room not properly heated, and that ever since he began tbe suit he has not been able to speak above a whisper. The trial consumed nearly an eutire week, with able counsel on both sides.
 The Mexican treaty which has been ratified gives good opportunities to the trade of both countries. Our imports from Mexico under this arrangement will be chiefly cotton, to- bacco, sugar, fruits and the precious metals. Our exports will be manufactured goods chiefly, especially machinery and tools. A strong opposition to the treaty came from the fear that Mexican products admitted free would be formidable competitors with those of our southern States, especially sugar and tobacco, and the mining industries of Color
 ado and the other States and Territories where the precious metals are produced have feared that the Mexican mines would inter fere with theiE development. Probably,
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13

Base ball making is one of those quiet in. dustties which attract little or no attention from the busy world, but prove remunera- tive to those engaged in them. Last year over 5000, GOO balls were manufactured in this country, and as the makers now have larger number of orders than ever before it is estimated that 2, ,OOo, 900 base balls will be knocked into the great nowhere the coming season.
Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-13
EDITORIAL NUII s.
The Tilden boom is fast growing.

Jef Davis has not yet repented of the para he took in the rebellion. Fortunately it makes no difference whether he repents or not
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-05-15
A Tragic Half Hour.

Rev. A. b. Sasnett, of Eufaula tells
the following incident which occurred
within his experience His friend was
in the sitting-room engaged in CONVEX
sation with friend; his little boy came
in while he was talking and was troub-
ling his father, and the father not wish
ing to be disturbed, gently pushed the
little fellow aside. telling him at the
same time to go away In pushing the
little fellow aside he stumbled and fell
against the stove, killing him instantly.
The father screamed. and in so doing
startled his wife, who was up stairs
bathing her baby. In trying to come
down stairs she fell and broke her neck.
The heart-broken father and husband
went up stairs short time after and
found that his wife hal left tlie baby
in the tub, and ii y 4 fallen over and
drowned. This was more than the
father could stand, an in few min
utes he blew his own brains ont. Thus,
family that half an hour before was
perfectly happy was each and every
member dead. atlanta Constitution.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-05-15
The Way to Paralize Him.

Dumley bad taken the landlady's
daughter to the theater and, as usual
had business outside between the acts
do you see young Brown over
there q he said TO the young woman.
Eyes" she replied
well, he is man expect TO par
alyze some day"
"Are you going ont to see another
man at the conclusion of this act. 2" she
asked
Yes. Dumley said reluctantly. ~
am afraid shall have to; he is waiting
for me now
WELL" said the landlady's daughter
Il don't like Mr. Brown very much
either, and l will tell you what to do
When you return from aeeing the
gentleman outside who Is waiting fol
you, Just step over to where Mr.. Brown
is sitting and breathe on him. That
will paralyza him. - Philadelphia
Call
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-05-15
Restricted Babies.

Some of the police regulations in
Germany seem absurd to an American,
on account of their minute restrictions
and their abundance of "red tape" An
American gentleman living in Berlin
with his family, writing to friend in
this country, gives an account of an an
noying, as well as amusing. experience
with the police of that city. His sense
of humor may have led him to exagger-
ate the minor details, but the main fact,
which concerns the baby and the park,
is true. He says:
Il have lately been brought in con-
tact with that inexorably law-enforcing
machine, the German police. You
know my wife has been invalid since
our residence here. For this reason
the care of the Children has come upon
Mary our Irish servant, who has fol-
lowed our fortunes so long as to be al
most one of the family. A more faith
full girl never lived, and busily occupied
as am with my writing, have left the
children almost entirely to her charge.
"The day after we came here, sent
her out with the baby for o stroll In the
park that adjoins the house. After see
ing her wheel the carriage out of sight,
under the lindens, l sat down to my
desk. In few moments she burst into
my room, much excited, exclaiming,-
An if you place, sorr, what sort OF
country is this? The man says ]
must have ticket to- thrundle the
baby out there in the park.
"'What man?' / asked.
"'What man? Who but the man
that calls himself the guarieen of the
park?
"'Well, but what is that You say?'
asked again, a little confused. "A
ticket to trundle the baby in the park !?
Eyes, sorr. As if we hadn't a right
to breathe out doors widout payin' for
itp
IT looked out of the window and saw
the 'guarjeen' of the park pacing sol
EMMY down the avenue. Selling my
hat, l rushed out of doors and APP
preached him. He was very polite, and
when spoke to him in German, he
answered me in broken English. Per
haps he didn't understand my German
"He gave me to understand that
trundling baby in the park was illegal
without a permit from police headquar-
tersl So meekly followed him to his
chiefs station, and underwent the fol
lowing examination in German:
"tYour full nameg / gave it to him.
'Married?'
eyes, SIR
"'You want a permit to take your
baby out in carriage in the Schoe-
lenfel city park?'
81 do, SIR
"'How old is this babyg
"'One year, four months and twenty.
seven days
"sMale or femaleY
Its name is john
Does it speak German|
'Well-not fiuently.'
"As he seemed to pause for want OF
more questions, ventured to remark
that the carriage was of French manu-
facture. and the servnnt-girl of Irish
extraction.
AFTER consulting with his colleagues
in the office, he gave me large yellow
stamped permit, which entitled my ser
vant-girl to take my baby out in car
riage in Schoelenfel Park. I departed
with new sense of the duties and dig
nifty of European police. - Youths
Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-05-15
A Common Case.

An aged gentleman of our acquaint-
ance went out after hearty meal to re-
move the ice from the sidewalk. He
worked, as an old man. naturally would,
with his head and shoulders bent low.
He suddenly fell, became unconscious
and soon died.
What was the cause Of his death
Apoplexy, the physician would say
cerebral apoplexy (apoplexy of the
BRAIN, to distinguish it from apoplexy
of the lungs, or of some other organ.
In cerebral apoplexy- rather in one
form of it-some of the minute arteries
of the brain give way, and the blood,
trickling ont accumulates and presses
on some great nerve center, and cuts of
more or less fully its power to act.
Let it be remembered that the proper
action of all the bodily organs, in
Guiding even the brain, is dependent on
force supplied by the nerve centers,
as much as an engine depends on the
force supplied by steam.
One thing that prepared the way for
the attack in the above case was the
hearty meal, which stimulated the
DSdlb et1iA ~ W bI1G OlOOQ
into the brain with fuller and more
vigorous stroke.
Another was his exercise Immediate
ly after eating. This still further in
creased the action of the heart.
A third was his posture, which i'm
peded the flow of blood from the brain
througe the veins, and thus helped to
increase the fullness of the vessels.
But all this would not have been
likely to cause apoplexy in the young
or middle-aged, the coats of their AFTER
les being tough and elastic. In the aged
however, the coats generally undergo
degeneration" either fiat" or slime
taking the place of the muscular fiber
and hence are easily broken by an un-
wonted pressure. Now, in such cases
let the hearts action be intensified by
vigorous exercise after a hearty meal
and stroke of apoplexy is a matter Of
course. Indeed, the aged cannot toe
carefully guard against whatever
greatly increases the action of the heart
Youths Companion.