Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-18
A DoubIe-Barreled Joke


The other evening, round at McGOvern's
saloon, the boys were putting up an elabo-
rate practical joke on somebody, and they
asked old Captain Skiddy, who had just
happened in, to take hand.
mo, gentlemen said that estimable
old citizen, decisiyely; ''yOu don't catch
me taking part in any practical jokes. l
went out of that business for good over
ten years ago"
Chow was that? ?" asked the group of
beer eXterminatOrs.
''Well, it was in the winter of 20, may
be II. l was living in Davenport, Iowa,
and man came round there giving bal
loon ascensiOns. One day it was adyer-
tised that the mayor of the town was 60
ing up with him. Now, the mayor was a
big, fat man, who always wore a light
suit of clothes and white hat. This put
me in the notion of working off joke on
the people. | got acquainted with the
9rOnaut and he agreed to assist me in the
scheme. We then got an old suit Of light
clothes and fixed up dummy, which, we
filled with sand, so that it weighed about
200 and would, therefore, drop straight
and heavy like man. The day Of the
ascension there were over 10000 people
on the ground and the excitement was
very great, as there was a slight wind
blowing at the time. After the balloon
got up about a mile, and maybe that far
south of the town, they dropped the dunn
my over"
Big sensation, then, eh?''
''Well, | should say so. But that's just
where l lost my grip. While the crowd
was shouting and going wild with horror,
/ just laid down on the ground, rolled over
and laughed until | was sick"
''ShOuld think the crowd would have
taken tumble, toO,' suggested the audi
ence.
But just wait. OF course the crowd
made break out of town to scrape up the
remains, and | rushed home to get my
fishing tackle, for it struck me that the
most healthy thing l could do would be
to go fishing for day or two. Before
left the house, however, l was arrested for
murder"
For murdery0
Exactly. A lot of the boys, accompa-
MED by the Sheriff, rushed in and cOllared
me. They claimed that the dummy had
fallen on a farmer and driven his skull
clear into the heels of his boots. They
said that the balloOnatic had turned States
evidence and the chances were that I'd be
hung by a mob before night"
''That was rough
"Well, so / thought. l was just scared
plum to death, and | begged the boys to
stand by and protect me. l pOnied up $50
for legal expenses and they hid me in the
garnet Of neighbours house. They kept
me there ten blessed days, and there wasn't
a day but they struck me fer I, twenty or
two for contingencies. One night the whole
gang came around full of beer-On my
money, mind yOu-and said that they had
concluded, as additional precautiOn, to
hide me in the hollow Of an oak tree about
three miles out in the woods. | saw
through the whole business then and drove
'em out with n club. IL was a GOOD,
square case of the bitter bit, know, but
they never let up calling me Dummy
Skiddy' after that, until they actually run
me out of the town. and had to emigrate
to this jumping-of place Of creation"
and the Captain shook his head with a
disguised air as he paid for his hot Scotch
and walked out.