The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-04-22

"A person with glass eye can hardly
he said to realize his situation. Merchant
Traveller.
Good will, like q good name, is got
by many actions and lost by one.-FrGn-
cts Jefry.
-" John, what is that scar on your
chimp" That SCARF Oh, that is relic
of barberism."
Why is a horse a curious feeder?
Because he eats best when he hasn't a
bit in his mouth.
1t makes a grocer mad to tell him
that he ought to keep goat in his win
dow as emblematical of the strength of
his butter.
The sixteen hundred young women
OF Cleveland who are pledged not to as
soclate with the young men of convivial
habits are getting very lonesome.
-"lt's no use to feel av me wristh,
DOCTOR" said Pat, when the physician be-
gan taking his pulse. "The pain is not
there, sorr it's in me hid entoirely."
The fitness of things was illustrated
in Chicago the other day by doctor
WoV oCHO q SCIVlH vi uC6Ctl Will uko
name inadvertently signed in the space
describing the cause of DEATH"
"A man whose knowledge is based on
actual experience, says that when calling
OF their sweethearts, young men should
carry affection in their hearts, perfection
in their manners, and cOnfection in their
pockets.
Hvo h. I'll
ry, as he folded his girl in one fond en-
brace. Well, that's no reason why you
should try to pye the FORM" she replied,
as she rearranged her tumbled collor and
pinned up her hair.
=" What's going on here tonight ?"
queried a timid farmer of the man at the
box Office. "The Forty Thieves" was
the reply. "How much to get in P''
"pollar and 2 half" "Well, I guess l
don't care to see the other thirty-nine."
A woman says very few men have
the slightest idea how to hold a baby,
and we don't suppose one in q hundred
has the slightest desire to hold one If
its female baby he is willing to hold it
Latter it reaches the age of seventeen
years.
-" hef taken der sthore, mine DEAR"
said Jacobs to his wife =" dat sthore by
, the corner; und already got mine goods
piled in und insured so hefy kcan-ah,
,effryding vas so handy dere-vas so han
ldy--der vas effen q match factory by der
next door"
The late Bishop Bloomfield pre-
served his passion for bon mots to the
last. During his illness he inquired
what had been the subjects of his two
archdeacons' charges, and was told that
the one was on the art of making sermons
and the other on churchyards. "Oh, l
gee" said the Bishop; " composition and
decomposition"
AT Boston seance a disconsolate
widower succeeded in establishing COM
munication with his wife, who had passed
into the spirit land from the Hub, of
whose aesthetic circles she had been q
rpember. The man inquired if she was
happy and if che liked her new surround
ipgs, to which she replied: a" Well, dear,
il is very charming and lovely and ali
tlat, bnt of course you know, dear, it isn't
Boston"
! Miss Gushington Ito young widow
whose husband has left large fortune):
"!This is the fourteenth mourning cos
tame have seen you wear in three days,
and each lovelier and more becoming than
the other.'' Young widow: ooh my
dear, | have forty-but such bother as
they were to be made! At one time
atnost wished that poor George hadn't
6ied."
At marriage celebration the bride
was requested to sign her name in the
register at the sacristy. Excitement
c$used her fingers to tremble she took
the pen, signed, and made an enormous
ink blot. "Must l do it over again ?"
ske blushingly asked her husband. "No,
F! !}guess that will do, but" "Oh,
dent scold me! shall pay more atten-
tipn the next time