Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-20
BRIGHT BITS.

PATHS TERMs-Ten hours sleep, twelve
hours play, two hours work and $4,000 uay'
-PAjlddelDhid CAL.
THE Tribune likens Blaine to st. Paul. We
think he's more like Joshua, because ne causeu
the Sun to stand still.-EUc6-
TIE best way to catch an heiress nOw-a-
DAYS is to hire out in the family as coach-
man.-Pitts6Urg Chronicle Telegraph.
NOTHING so captivates a susceptible young
woman as a bright uniform. 1t IS putting a
coachman in livery that makes the mischief.
philadelphia cal.
CoMMITTEEMAN-"Then sir, you refuse to
contribute to our campaign fundS" Govern
menU clerk-"I do" "Whom, then, 40 you
intend to support" "My family. "-Chicdgo
Ne9Cs.
SOME folks at Niagara Falls can remember
IS suicides, but no one pretends to recollect q
case where hackman got discouraged until
his victim showed him empty pockets.-De-
trO{t Free Press.
THE cOachman who ran away with Mr..
Morosini's daughter was married qna DER me ne
name of Hulskamp; Mr.. Moroslnl says ne ne
knew he was more than half a scamp all the
while,-BurLiRgtoR Free Pres.
THE modern cOachman drives his employ
er's horses to the halter and his employer
daughter to the altar. Or, to tackle d lHeT-
ent figure, he brides the horses ana Drldals
the daughter.-LOlOeU Citizen.
AN art critic says that ''the wave of popular
decorative art has broken over us and re-
ceded." This may be; but it has left regu-
lar geological garden OF horrible looking
things on the shore.-PhiIddelphid CALI
A YOUNG LADY has recently e4oped with a
cOachman. She probably thought IhaI lhIs
was cheaper than hiring hack. She had been
in a convent, and knew nothing OIL the exist
ence Of 25-cents- a-mile yellow cabs.-Puc6'
GIRLS Of a manageable age are sold for SIG
in Yokohama. The japanese young men must
have lots OF money to throw away IN TINS man
ner, Let them come to America, where mar
riageable girls are given aWay.-BostoR iran
script.
1T is said that the handsOmest women IN
New York are white haired ones. Great
Scot! if this supposed fashion craze extenas
over the country the whltewaSn pan VIII DE De
used for turning out fashionable young Wo-
men as well as sacred white elephants.-Free
Press.
WHAT dreadful times these are" said
Croaker. ''They are far worse than they
were when was boy" 81 think you are
ing my grandfather say that he frequently
heard his father say the same thing.'-BoSton
Globe.
IT has been discovered that raw onions are
more eflicaciOus IN the cnre OF snake Dltes
than whisky. Should the time come when
raw onions are the only cure for snake bites
there will be a falling Off of 30 per cent. IN
the list OF such casualties in this country
Pecb's Sun.
BIDDING adieu to dreams Of love,
OF song, croquet and pumpkin pies.
OF idle hours idly spent
Beneath sOft-tinted skies,
Back to his dingy office
The paragraphlst HES,
His nose mosquito bitten
To twice its natural size.
philadelphia Call.
.sYaas.D said an old settler, swe ran bosses
-, Ia p al
noble spOrt?" asked the stranger. 81 was en-
gagged in a boss race some years ago IN which
I took a right smart interest" Running
"Hit war fifty mile track, stranger. Texas
is a big State" "a fifty-mile track! never
heard of such a thing. And did you VIM
''You bet" 'How much did you win2" Il
won the boss, stranger"
BONANZA, JR.-''I see you have advertised
for a cOachman." Mr.. MilliOnalre-"Ah, how
de do, MIR. Bonanza, and how is your estima-
BILE father2 Piling up the millions as usual, /
suppose! Yes, have advertised for a coach
man. Do you know of good MANI" 81
should like the position, myself, sir" ''Ah! 1
see. You love my daughter, but you are too
late" TOO late?" "Yes, gave my wealthy
young friend, Mr.. Fatpurse, a job as coach
man a few weeks ago, and she eloped with
him last night. PHILADELPHIA CAL.
HORSE TALK.-A taIkative old German on
an Austin street car remarked to the next
passenger how useful and intelligent horses
were, and how difficult it would be to have to
do without them. eyes, some horses have
more sense and spirit than men," responded
the passenger. who happened to be an Ameri-
can. ''Ya, dot vas So" For instance, that
horse that pitched the old Emperor last week
did what the German people have never
dared attempt. That horse threw the Empe-
rOr overheard. When will the people of Ger
many ever have the pluck even to hint at such
a thing?" The old German was mad, and as
the car slowed up and the admirer OF horses
got of, he leaned over and said in deep,
cultural voice: "YOu vas Won of dose tam
Shin Blaine know holdings .''-Ieods Strings.