The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1884-07-05

| awjence agin invitaShen to take Suthin
| hev hopes that this sacrific will be re-
membered by the next administrator,
eff we elect Dimekratic President 1t
is no small matter fur me to put out three
bottles NV whiskey for others when SO
need 'em myself. But sacrifices must be
made fur the cause.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY,
(Worried.)
MIR. Massey DREAMS A DREAM AND HAS A
HORRIBLE AWAKENING.
he'd a dreem last mite witch l wish
from the bottom of my heart Good be re-
allied. 1t wuz a dreem so rich, so full
Nv everything witch wuz delightful, that
| almost wish he'd died afore awakenin
from it to the cold realities Nv a crooel
and unsympathetic world. 1t was dreem
witch extendid over consider" BILE space
NV time.
Methawt wuz delegate to the DIM
egratic Nashnel Convenshun from this
deestrik in Kentucky. l WIZ entirely
happy for l had rooms at fust class
hotel and plenty NV money, for l he'd
promised the managers w all Nv the can
didates to vote for their man, and wuz
reseevin money from eech. In addishun
he'd sold all five of the tikkits he'd at
my disposal to the Convenshun to out
siders, and had turned handsome penny
buyin up from the other delegates, and
sellin agin at higher price. All the del
egates wuz on the make, only l he'd
sooperior intelligence.
1t wuz deliteful experience only it
WIZ in my sleep. Thank heaven for
! sleep. All my good times | hev in my
dreems. We wuz about to concentrate
on Tilden, Saml. j., his bari hevin bin
tapped at both eends and the bung
knocked out. The old gentleman he'd
actooally determined to be a candidate,
on reform platform, and wuz buyin
up NV delegates at rate witch l never
dreemed he WIZ capable NV. No matter
wat may be sed NV his honisty, Their amt
no doubt ez to his lberality or his akkerit
knollege NV the make up NV Dimekratie
Convenshuns. I he'd sold out to him foul
times, and so he'd the heft Nv the dele
gates, and we got our money every time
Samyooers managers sed that SO sot wuz
the old man on the question Nv reform
that he'd scoop the nominashen eff he
he'd to buy every delegate to the Conven
shun.
list ez we bed made UP our minds t6
Vote for him and end the matter, we re-
ceeyed dispatch from Moo York that
! the cid man he'd bin struck with paraly
sis and his rite side wuz completely dead
His managers were appalled, at the terri
BILE intelligence, but not SO the delegates
One gentleman from EIejeany riz to his
feet aad demanded in thunder tones eff hi
eeed still yoose5hisl left hand.
5SZ-<e=ki1..@a7 wuz the reply
every good then. He kin sign check.
with his left lIanti, and SO long ez he xii
sign checks he is a good enuff reform
candidate FOR me. With him ez oul
standard barer the Dimocrisy NV Injean.
will pay cash for likker this fall any
how
Then the dreem went OH. We wen
into the campane and l moved immedi
ately to Injeany. becoz ther amt NJ
money in bein Dimocrat in Kentucky
Kentucky is safe enyhow, and when
asked Tilden for cash con.ribooshens fo
the campane wuz met with chillin re
foosle. 1.-The Reform tikkit kin kerr,
Kentucky anyhow" WIZ the chillin re
Spouse, land my money must go into thu
doubtful States
Injeany bein doubtful State, l wen
over ther, and threw my sole into thu
work. got the posishen NV disbursel
in Congressional Deestrik, and whel
the cleckshun come voted six times
! gittin my three dollars per vote with thu
rest nv EN-.
In my dreem Tilden was elected on the
Reform ishoo, and then come the mil
lenirm. We didn't pay much attenshul
to questions NV public polisy, but we die
make a cleo n sweep NV all the Republican
offs holders. We spared nothin. One
armed soljers wuz throwd out NV places
ez well ez wimmen witch held small post
oifises. Their wuzn't offs, no matter
how small, witch we couldn't find sturdy
Dimekrat willin to take. Their wuz whel
we commenced the work Nv Reform.
Wv course got the post-offis at the
Corners. The niger Lubbock, witch het
held it sence Grants first inoggerashuu
wuz relegatid to his shoe bench, and
wuz installed in his place. The salary
wuzn't large, but Their wua perkisi's.
didn't hev the handlin NV any letters
containin rcmittances for noosepapers, SC
got 10 revenoo from that The Repub
likins in this visinity, ez soon ez l wuz
installed, mailed Their letters containir
money for newspapers at other offises
becoz, ez they remarkt, they he'd bin in
terdoosed to me, and the Dimocrisy dom
take no noosepapers. This source Nv
revenoo wuz cut off entirely.
But Their WIZ other things wich die
pay. | reserved on average six letters
a day addressed to the Looseaner ant
other lotteries, and them l capcherd.
believe that games NV chance is immoral
Shood | encurridge my people in thi,
wickednis No, and to cure 'em opened
ther letters and didn't let em know thai
l he'd the money, hopin that after tryir
sevrel times for prize and gittin nothin
they wood desist. There is many way.
NV servin the Lord, and hev my pekool
yer way. And it wuz with grim salts
fackshen that opened Bascom's reglel
remittancss to Moo Orleens for lottr,
tickits, and went over and paid him fol
his likker in the same.
quit goin to Bascom's almost alto
gether. preferred to sit in my offs, by
ii open winder, thro witch | Good see the
smoke NV McPelte RS distjllery risl
gracefully to the hevins, and send my
first assistant out, whose salery l col
lected NV the Government, givin him my
doc bill therefor, for my likker. 1t wuz
easier sendin him out for my drinks thar
to go myself, and much more dignified
Deekin Pogram he'd got to be collector
rice Pollock removed, and ez we he'd got
an apprOpriashen for moo Postoffis, Bias.