davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
Postum Hunting in Georgia.

In barber shop one day last week,
while several gentlemen were waiting TO
be shaved, the conversation turned on
good things to eat. After discussing va
rious dishes, Joe Ronev, who is consid-
cred a connoisseur. and who had taken
an active part IL the discussion, said:
well, boys, YOU can all talk about nice
things to eat, but the best thing in the
world | ever tasted was possum, hedged
in with brown gravy and sweet potatoes,
with sugar on them. Mr.. Wait Furlow
invited us soon after TO 60 out to his
plantation and assist in genuine. old
fashioned possum hunt, with an hour
or two for the squirrels thrown in. The
first nights experience was tame one:
we got into 4 dry piece of woods and
struck but one possum track; but we
got that pOssum.
The next night, between s. and 8
o clock, we started out. Down the road
20 the woods we went, stopping long
enough TO get several handfuls OF good
lighters, and then into the forest Scarce
ly fifteen minutes had elapsed before
bark was heard, succeeded few mo-
ments later by another, and then an
other 4 trail had been struck. The
voices OF the dogs grew more frequent,
until ut length . long continuous bay
from the leader announced that the
posSum was freed. 4 few moments
walk brought us TO him, but the scene
around the tree battles description.
With bark after bark the dogs circled
around, trying in vain to climb up the
sapling. 4 few blows from the axe
brought the tree down, and the next
moment the pOSsum was in the jaws of
the dogs, forty feet away. He had
started 10 run as soon as the tree fell,
but the dogs run too quickly. AS soon
as they had 4 taste of him they were
satisfied. 1t is remarkable, but a pos
sum dog will never eat 4 possum or the
bones of one.
The same scene was repeated twice
more, varied by long tramps through
swamps, cotton and corn fields The
small hours of themorning had arrived
when we went to bed, but we ccnsoled
ourselves with the thought of the feast
we would have the next day.
On big dish in the centre of the
table, brown and fat, the possum
looked good, but it was better than it
looked. 1t was meal fit for kings,
but which anybody could have for the
trouble of the hunt. 1t was the first
pOssum we ever ate.
Joe Roney was right. There is
nothing that will beat possum.-hn1eri-
cas- Recorder.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
Frogs for Market.

in the towns of Maine. notably Bel
fast and Warren. and on Cape Cod. in
Barnstable, Centreville and Yarmouth.
men are devoting their entire time TO
catching these Dutch nightingales'
tor the Boston market Early in the
morning the fisherman. or, perhaps.
properly speaking. reptileman, starts
Tor the green marshes with his long
pole and net
The frogs have just emerged from
their dark, Shiny beds, and are sitting
contentedly perched in some sunny
spot, ready to begin the overture of
their morning serenade. Suddenly
''Whlsh! comes the net into their
midst, and the next moment their di-
rector, big pound and half fellow. is,
to the great establishment of his frog
ship, whirled through the air and
landed captive at the feet of his arch
enemy. Down plump the other sing
Cling and croaking in startling discord.
into their safe retreats, only 10 return
few minutes later and yield another
victim to the unrelenting net A good
frog fisherman will catch fourteen or
fifteen dozen a day, but an unexper;-
enced amateur will find this apparently
easy sport difficult job when he tries
to rival the professional. Sometimes
shooting is resorted to instead Of net
ting, and again the little red-fannel
bait on the end of a hook is used to en-
tice the frog from his retreat.
The frogs are then sent, some alive
and some dressed ready for table to the
Boston markets. In Faneuil Hall Mark
ct. at the fish stands. heaps of little
shining pearl-white frogs legs are
offered to the public at from forty to
sixty cents per dozen. The season lasts
from June till October, July, however,
being the busiest time. AS to the taste
OF this luxury, those who have never
partaken of the frog meat cannot real
Ize It's delicious flavor and tenderness.
The taste is no tishy one, but resembles
most that of young spring chicken.
When served as q fried or broiled dish,
it IS especially delectable, and at one
hotel eight dozen day are called for
in this form during the July season,
while even now the average is from
two to three dozen
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
A Story of Judge Poland.

Here is a good story about Judge
Poland, of Vermont, who turns up in
congress after having been i'll obscurity
since he was showed under in 1874
The Judge wears now the same old
swallow-tail coat with brass bu tons
that warmed him ten years ago. When
he is so dressed, with his white hair
and smoothly-shaved face, he bears a
certain resemblance to the pictures of
George Washington. The Judge is
very proud of this, and his friends
know it. Well, one day he had party
of Vermonters at the white house and
happened to be in the east room, which
was completely shaded by the heavy
curtains. A cOmfOrtable-looking Qua
ker, with his wife and two children,
entered the farther end in their sight
seeing rounds. In corner near the
Judge stood Il full-lenGth picture frame
leaning against the wall. Get behind
that frame,' said one of the party,
land Wen tell these people that it's
a picture of Washington" The Judge
stepped briskIy into place Slowly the
Quaker and his brood came down the
great room, he pointing out the pictures
on the Wall. - w nat , lndI! he Oe-
manded pointing toward the judge.
That's Washington, he was answer
ed. ''Do not 90 near. The painting
is just finished, and must not be touch
ed" The Judge stood impressive in
the shadow, gazing pensively out on
the group halted 4 dozen feet away. At
length the honest visitor found voice.
Turning slowly to his wife he said:
Wife, we always thought well of
George Washington, but that is all
over. We are temperance people; just
look at that nose!" and he pointed to-
ward the most marked feature of
Poland's face, gathered up his family,
and sOrrowfuIly marched away. The
VermOnters restrained themselves for
q moment, then gave way, and only
realized what they were doing by the
Judges grim words: ''What are you
zoos laughing at?'' The story was
told, and the next day Fernando Wood
alluded to it in Pol&nd's presence, but
the latter 5 expression then has deferred
his friends from mentioning it in his
presence. 1t is noticed, however, that
since then the judge very seldom
aIiudes to his likeness to the father of
his country Washington Cor. Troy
TEn,pS
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
A Poetic Contest.

a resident of Carlisle, drawing nigh
60 years of ace, in his solemn moments
often asked himself by what means it
might be made known to the world
that such man ever lived; and as ac-
cording to his own estimation if he ex-
celled in anything it was as poet, he
resolved to publish volume OF his
manuscript poems, composed at va
rlous periods during his eventful life.
Finding it cheaper to get them print
ed at G asgow, on his way he put up at
the head inn in the Town OF AYR After
tea, and seated enjoying 4 long pipe
with glass Of grog, several neighbors
dropped in, who soon knew his bust
ness aft irs, and prevailed upon him to
read some of his compositions, which
were much applauded one after an
other.
4 cynical remark, however, dropped
from one of the company, who remark
ed that he believed there was a poor
plougnboy in the town who could make
better poetry.
Produce him" said Andrew.
The challenge was clenched by a bet
of guinea The boy was found takin
AiAS ljOLA4OSS d1CtI Il IitlIu Nt6bJ WI n
and with difficulty brought to the inn
when he understood the business. Be-
ING seated, the bell was rung for writ
ING materials, which were placed be-
fore Mr. Horner, who took the paper
and wrote a little and rubbed his fore
head repeatedly, but at last passed the
paper to Bob ' (who was afterwards
the celebrated Robert Burns) with the
rema,k that Pegasus would not fly.
You see, friends, l. nave written the
year IN which | was born, AMI intended
to put mo numbers some events OF my
lie, but they won't flow and, pass
ing the paper, he said, Let the boy
try"
Bobby, receiving the sheet. saw
In seventeen hundred and thretty-nine.
And added:
Inc del CAT stuff to max swine
And lit it in corne
But afterwards he chs nged his plan,
Made 1t SOnleI hing like man
And called it Andrew Horner.
Upon hearing this, Mr.. Homer ram
med his volume of manuscript into the
tire, and r4t~rned hone to Carlisle the
10 lowing mornin
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
a Chapter ON the Newly Married.

After the honeymoon is over. in
which each lives in the seventh heaven
of bliss. and is blind to all outward
surroundings, there comes a dav when
the mere matteT-of-fact duties begin.
and they settle down to the realities of
life. The habits, the manners, and the
tempers are things that either knows
anything about in the Other. and that
which was long concealed in an engage
ment for months is quickly revealed in
the close relationship of married life
Some little habit that the bachelor or
maiden has formed rasps to rawness
the nerves of the other aud the
determinations on either side to
break the other of the fault only
chafes and frets both without at
tanning the object. He thinks that
home life should fill their every thought.
She thinks a little society and gayety
would be preferable He is tired when
he comes home at night, tired of see
ing people, tired of talking to them;
he has been in q whirl all day. She
has moped by herself through the
same long hours in the Glove of cot
tage" that seemed so poetical to talk
about, or has spent 2 dreary time,
solitary and alone, through cherries
winter day in her room at their board
ing house, and is only kept from
downright rebellion by the thought
that when Charlie comes home they
viii go to the theater, or go to see
ina" Then there is disappointment
on both sides. She thinks he is real
mean" because he does not indorse her
plans, and he thinks she is downright
silly to wish to leave such q COW
tireside and such comfortable little
home place for any other sport on
earth.
She has always found her Il Wills
and Il won ts'' the law and the gospel,
and ten chances to one Charlie yields
to her imperial highness, and is for
ever after hen-pecked husband. But
if that same Charlie is wise, and can
convince his little wife, without
wounding her, he has forever won, not
only her heart, but her Judgment; and
she looks up and respects him for his
nrmness.
1t is very seldom the case that the
first month of married life are the
happiest, and it takes Il big stock of
love and good sense to launch couple
over the breakers into smooth, open,
matrimonial sea. The faults that are
discovered, the weaknesses that are
shown, the foibles that are betrayed,
can only be met with forbearance, if
pair hope for blissful future; then
every after year confirms their oneness
of heart, of sympathy and of purpose,
and any couple of this kind long mar
ried will tell you they are happier after
all those years than they were the day
they were married.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24

: nay could be driven. lie is rich, hay-
ing received for years a handsome in
come from his law practice. When he
was young he bought large tracts of
land in Texas, and it is said that he
has cleared 500, 900 on portions thereof
that he has sold, while he still owns
enough to turn him in two or three
times as much more.
The endless diversity of uses to which
electricity may be put received another
illustration recently at the Court Opera
at Vienna, where, by the simple ex-
pedient OF suspending tiny incandescent
lamps by fine swinging wires, the effect
was produced of swarms of fireflies
fitting about q tropical forest. By
switches the current is turned off and
on at the pleasure of the operator, and
the effect, as artificial firefies flash and
dance in mid-air, is said 10 have been
electrical in other than a literal sense.
A singular case is reported at St.
Thomas. A young man employed in the
sewing machine works has been accus-
toned to working alone, and so prone
to whistInG that as soon as he is by
himself he unconsciously commences.
When asleep the muscles of. his mouth,
chest, and lungs are so completely in
association that he whistles with aston
ishing shrlllness. A pale contcnance,
loss of appetite, and almost total pros
tration Of strength convinced his
mother it would end in death If not
speedily overcome. She accordingly
called in physician, and he recon-
mended that the young man be placed
in the society Of another boy, who
should give him a blow as soon as he
begins TO whistle. This novel remedy
viii be tried. Montreal star.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
Putting Things Away.

A recent writer thus compares the
ways of men and women: Man puts
THINGS out of the way whenever the ne
cessity of SO doing presents itself to
him. For example, he finds that his
room is in n disorderly state. Too
many pairs of boots make themselves
painfully obvious; there are more dis
carded collars on the mantle than pro-
priety would dictate, and the mixture
Of cigar-ashes, clothes brushes and
gloves on his table has reached state
of confusion which displeases him. He
resolves to put things in order and put
out of the way whatever is plainly
adapted to the process. Accordingly
he crowds the supertiuOus boots under
the sofa, thrusts smaller articles of per-
sonal apparel into the bureau drawers,
emptieS the cigar ashes and bits of pa
per behind his desk, and thus quietly
sets his room in order. Now the re-
suit of this process is eminently salts
factory. Not only has he put things
out Of the way, but he is in position to
find it again as soon as he wants them.
The sofa stands faithfully on guard
over the boots, and he can at any time
poke them out with q cane. The dis
carded collars, the gloves, the pipes,
and the various small articles thrown
into the bureau drawers, remain there,
and the ashes and waste paper could
be eXhumed from behind the desk were
any possible demand for them to
arse. The man who puts things out
of the way can always lay his hand on
them. Tney never pass out of his pos
session, or, what is virtually the same
thing, out of his memory. OF course,
this masculine process of putting
things away eXcites the derision of wo-
man. Sac claims that it IS the worst
form and last expression Of disorder.
To put things away. as practiced by
woman, is equivalent to concealing
them more or less completely. The
most women to 4 passion. Curiously
enough, it is always the things of other
people her husband or her children
that she puts away. Her own things
she wisely keeps where they are handy;
and she resents the suggestion that, 10
matter where they may be, they can be
regarded as objects out of place. All
other things, on the other hand, are, in
her opinion, always out of place, pro-
vided they are visible. Her chief OBJ
ject in life is to put them away where
no one can see them, and her greatest
happiness is attained wnen she has put
them away SO securely that she cannot
herself remember where they are.
Books and papers of kind which a
man is apt to need at any moment are
always put away with eager enthusi-
asm. Winter clothing is put away in
the spring with such success that the
owner is convinced that it has been
stolen, In short, there is nothing that
a woman VIII not gladly and etfectually
put away if it belongs exclusively to
man.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
"Eyhat Mus Do Bout It?"

There was one colored member OF
the Florida Assembly who was the most
ludicrously pompous specimen | have
ever seen. He was short and very
thick set, large, gross features, lips
like the bumpers of a railroad car and
had the measured walk of militia
veteran. Withal he Was so dcnsely
black that the attorney general, speak
ing of him once, said he believed ''tne
cuss would sweat ink This fellow
was profoundly impressed with the be-
lief that he was q natural born states
man and political economist and used
to talk very disparagingly of Congress-
man w. d. Kelly, Of Pennsylvania,
considering him, he said, very much
oyer-rated man. He had an ovGrween-
ING ambition to be chairman Of some
thing or other and became such a nui-
sance with his importantly that to get
rid of him he was appointed chairman of
the committee on agriculture. This at
once gratifiod his vanity and his am
bltiOn, and he erected an extra spine
in his back in honor Of the occasion.
But he was ignorant of the duties per-
tanning to his new and important posi-
whom he had confidence, and asked
his advice. Said be: BOSS, Use been
'pinted cneerman of de committee on
culture; what mus | do bout it?'
why" said his friend, who was a we'll
known practical joker, you must offer
q resolution to the legislature. Culture
means gentlemanly conduct and clean
~ habits, and as chairman of this COM
mittee it is your place and duty to in
struct the others in these highly i'm
portant points"
''Wel, Boss. " said he, you cit ne
up one jest about right and I'll present
it to the assembly tomorrow So the
day following, when the legislature
had duly come to order, our sable
statesman rose solemnly to his .eet, fix
ING his eagle eye glarlngly on the pre-
siding officer, with ''Mstar Speaker, l
mas It reso. ution, as cheerman OF dc
committee on culture, to offer to dis
honorable body OF my friends and fell
low citizens. "
Amid expectant silence the clerk, to
wbom The paper had been handed read
as follows:
Resolved, That the practice of members of
the legislature only washing their feet once
in three months is a rank OffenSe against
good morals and standing menace to the
purity OF the elective franchise.
Resolved That the chairman of the COM
nlttee on culture be author zed to employ an
inspector Oh feet, at a salary of 81 per Oie:n,
whose duty it shall Re to see that the pedal
extremities of the members Of the Legislature
al kept in condition ting to the peace
| and dignity Of the state of Florida.
After the laughter had subsidized our
dusky legislator was informed that
there was no such committee as the
committee on culture, but that the COM
mittee on agriculture was the one of
which he was chairman, and its duties
were strictly confined to the farming
interests of the state.-C0r. FhttGdei-
Dbia Times.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
Too Much Slang, My Son.

No, my son, | never told you to use
no slang at all. There is now and then
an expression of slang that is too elo-
quent TO perish, that forces itself into
the best society and secures for itself a
place in the dictionary among the old
est families. Grave and reverend old
phrases, eminently respectable phrases
that came over in the Mayfower, that
went, or rather did not 90 counting
with Miles Standish, that talked to the
Indians with good William Penn, are
jostled by slangy intruders that wear
the baton of ribbon on their escutch-
cons, slang that came into the commu-
nifty of words since Denver was city.
Bat the trouble with you, my boy, is
that at your age you are not apt to mix
a few good English words with your
slang. You ignore the respectable ele-
ment of the language and associate
with the hoodlums. Sometimes Irather
think an occasional very current phrase
from the mine, the ranch, the lumber
camp, OF the trail adds piquancy and
force to the conversation. But when
you talk nothing but slang, my boy,
even your slang becomes Slangless. 1t
ONSOiICo q J'LSOAS NV P"CCSA VI
thieves, the tiresome vuIgarity OF the
slums. That's tie great trouble with
your slang, my boy. If you could hear
yourself talk, which | think you can
not, you would soon learn to hate the
sound of your voice, if you are much
given to slang. You don't know how
to use it to make it inCffensive. And
if you have one pet phrase that you
have just learned, try to air it careful
ly and semi-occasionally. 1t will last
longer. Don't make q vocal maiden
Prayer" or "Black Key Mazourka" OF
it. Bear in mind that some OF your
audience may have heard that tune be-
fore you learned to play. don't OBJ
jet, my son, TO your using little care
fully selected slang. l only ask you to
use some language. Not too much, oh
no. About ten parts of Eaglsn to fifty
parts of sang would be Il little i'm
proyement on the language largely
used by the average young fellow OF
your age.-Burdctte.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
An Island Born in Flame.


The latest advices from Ounalaska.
which arrived by the steamer Dora.
just down from that island. contain an
interesting description of wonderful
volcanic disturbances, which are said
to have occurred near there lately.
Captain Hogue, of the Dora. was called
on by a Chronicle reporter yesterday
afternoon. He was found at an ASSAY
office, he being an experimentalist in
this branch of science. LAYING aside
his blOw-pipe and metal, the captain
said, in answer to the first inquiry:
Yes; was at BogoslOv twice during
the past season and | did see something
most extraordinary. Sit down and I'll
tell you all about it"
The reporter complied with the re-
quest and the captain went on:
when / say that was at Bogoslov
you must not take it for granted that l
landed there >
lis it not habitable isIand?" asked
the reporter.
Sat certain seasons, perhaps, but at
the time [ saw it there was nothing
visible there but u mass of flame and
smoke, with pieces of red-hot rocks
issuing from the great cone in the cen
ter of the mass and great quantities of
lava running down to the sea-"
''How near did YOU approach"
81 stood off about a mile and q half.
not daring to venture nearer. 1t was
the grandest scene ] ever Witnessed
and L have been pretty nearly every
where. "
How long did the eruption last?"
81 can't exactly say as to that, as /
found the cone in disturbed condition
and left it next day still in state of
eruption. [ have learned that it had
been throwing out lava for several
weeks, and that it had still continued
TO do so up to the date of my departure
from Ounalaska. But what was most
remarkable and singular to behold was
new feature which was then visible
in the scene. A new island had sprung
up not far distant from Bogoslov since
my previous voyage to that spot. At
first L could not believe my senses, and
thought / had made Il miscalculation
In taking my surroundings, but there
it was, a new island, with q cone-shap-
ed peak in the center 800 to 800 feet
high and lying only a short distance
from where we stood, that portion of
its irregular outlines nearest to Bogos-
low not being but a few miles away
from the old island"
A remarkable assertion in this con-
nection and one which will probably
not be credited by some is in regard to
the sea-lions. Many of them were re-
ported as having been killed by the
volcanic eruptions and the sea was
said to be sWarming with these animals
The greater portion of those still alive
were hairless, the heat to which they
had been subjected having removed
their outer fur, rendering those caught
in this vicinity of no value to the hun
ter.
Some of the ashes which fell at Oun-
alaska were examined by the reporter.
The were peculiar i'll their ightness
and cottony appearance, and the state
ment of tneir having been borne thirty
miles in the air by Il light wind may be
easily credited francisco Cha'ont-
Gle.