The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1884-05-31
c. 0. D.-llIew Examination.

the East, and it is to be sent to
me on APPROVAL said a citizen to
the express agent a few days ago.
~The man | ordered the dog of
said l could have him sent BY ex.
press, c. o. ID. and be allowed to
examine him. and if he didn't suit,
l needn't take him."
swell, you can't take no dog
out of here without you put up
the money and 60 duck hunting
every day for a week. and bring
him back every night for us to
feed, and then If you don't like the
dog leave him on our handsi Not
much. We don't keep no dog
boarding house. This @. o. d.,
allow examination is played"
"Why, Supposed that was part
OF your business said the citizen.
II see advertisements in the pa
pers every day of all kinds of
goods, and the advertiser offers
TO send them q. o. d. subject to
examination. Guess you are get.
ting too smart.n
"Not too smart: just smart
enough said the express man, as
he licked some hot sealing wax of
his thumb-nail. "You have not
seen any such advertising lately.
They got to sending goods that
way, but the express companies
kicked on it. 1t would require u
hundred extra clerks and an office
as big as the exposition building.
Why, some days we had a hundred
people in the Office at once, having
clerks open packages and trying
things on. Everything got to com
ing that way from trotting horses
to silk socks. See that hole in
the ceilingi A man had q Win.
chester rifle come, subject to ex.
animation, and he loaded her up
and blowed a hole through the rim
Of his hat and the ceiling. Liked
to have killed an insurance agent
up stairs. The bullet went up the
insurance agents trousers leg,
through his shirt out of his collar,
and flattened itself on his cheek.
We had nine women in here one
day trying on sealskin cloaks, an d
four had packages Of corsets come
subject to examination, and when
one Of them began to unbutton
her dress waist to try on her cor
set, | just tainted away. When
the boys brought me too, was
wild, and said take her away A
fellow had an accordeon come
subject to examination last fall,
and pledge you my word he sat
on an old hair trunk out In the
freight room all the afternoon
playing the confounded instru.
ment of torture, until we had to
blow him up with dynamite. See
that dirty spot on the ceiling,
where it looks as though the ROOT
leakedi Well, that's where he
struck and he was flattened out
all over there, and we had to
scrape him of with case knife,
Actually one woman had one oi
these electric belts come by ex.
press subject to examination, and
she had the gall to ask me If she
couldn't go into the superintend-
ent's Office and try 1t on. You
know what q modest man our su.
perintendeut is. He blushed SO
you could touch a match to the
top of his head, | pledge you my
word. We let the woman 60 into
the money vault and try on her
belt, and she came out as though
she was shot out Of o gun. |
guess there was so much iron
about the safe that the electric
belt struck fire. Oh, they got to
receiving cough syrup, plasters
and pills subject to examination,
until he got tired. One man put
some kind of q plaster on his back
and wore it of, and kept it on for
three days and come back and
said 1t was no good, and wanted
to return it. Why, he had the
cheek to ask me to rip it of his
back for him. The day before a
reception here last winter we had
six women trying on silk hose
they had ordered from New York ;
one man trying a bald-headed rem
edy; two Markses of an uncle
Toms Cabin troupe, trying trick
mule; q woman examining an ope-
ra hat from Chicago, and kicking
because we didn't keep a plate
glass mirror, and four men sam.
pling Q case of old bourbon whis-
ky sent subject to examination.
1t got too busy around here. The
clerks couldn't work, and / was
so near crazy that man had TO
take me out and walk me around
q block. No, sir, we viii deliver
goods anywhere in the civilized
world, If we are paid for it, but We