Daily Republican., 1884-11-03
HADBY.

70" Of 'nsm are ever nsRpxTT ,n.,r n,,.,,
HASBY.
CoHynDnRir X. RoADe
(Wich 70 in the state Nv Kentucky,
OctobW 70, 1854.
We hev received the nooze NV the
Ohio election ~ the Corners and
various results, none NV em pleasant,
hez RESULTED therefrom.
heeEd the nooze fust, ez 1 sposed,
tho ez bad news travels fast 1t wux ct
Bascom's afore I got down in the NOR.
min, and l am tolerably erly bird
there myself. I am alluz there erly, ez
every day Their 10 travelin men witch 20
over to Bascom's to git Their mornip
drink, and 1t Is we'll to be around on
the chance nv invitashens.
Deprest ez l wuz, determined not
10 let any Nv EN- know that l felt 1t.
assoomed serene look nv cam satisfac.
ton and sailed In with . smile onto
my face. found the Deekin, Issaker
Gavitt, Kernel M'Pelter, and all NV en-
81 ting there In state Of eggstreme dis.
comfitOOr. Basc0m wuZ, not putting it
too mildly, furious.
" Ez yoosual," sed l, sidlin up to the
bar.
Not quite ez yoosual," replied Bias.
com. " hev inoggeratid q new system
this mornin-we depart from the yoos-
ual custom by requirin any SIGH man
ez 700 are to lay down five cents onto
the counter afore place the bottle in
bis too willin grasp. From this time
out 1t 10 cash jist afore the delivery NV
the goods"
change ?" asked.
." Hsv zoo heerd from Ohio?" wuz
his chillin response,
/" Herd from Ohio ?" sed I, valin
my agony with smile, "uv course I
hev heeId the glorious nooze. We hev
got em r.
"Glorious pooze." he responded
with . sneer. maine puked Ms and
Ohio hez phisiked MS. A majority NV
II, 600 agin Us. What kind nv . CAT Is
that |"
"G. w." wuz my cam response,
for BY this time he'd got control nv my.
self, "yoo don't understand politik1e
tactics. The only trouble We hov In
Ohio In, the Republican majority wuz
not large enuR. However, we she'll
pull throo with wat we hev, tho we
shood hev lot en- carried it by $4,000"
:" spose Of the Republican majority
he'd bin 80 900 we wood hev ded shoor
thing onto em ?"
i" Certainly. The trooth IN, our peo-
pie 10 letharjik, and soopine, and wat
We need 10 . defect to awaken 'em, Our
trubble 10 0ver-OonfideDce,a and We want
Id back set to awaken the slumbrin
lion. We played the same tactiks In
Maine and In all the early States. Wat
Ia IN aaVa nsyr at ran 9th for tina
finel fite In November, when We shell
show EN- wat Dimocrisy RELY 10. In
vew NV tho tremenjus success Nv our
tactiks in Ohio. Bascom please set out
that bottle"
Bascom declined to do 1t In fact, he
60. that he'd bin the coz NV the rooin
NV she Corners. On the strength Nv my
profesies that We shoold carry Ohio by
q majority NV &c, 900 he he'd bet his good
money, aud he'd lost It. And now
700 cum in and say that that wuz per-
cisely wat the Dimocrisy intendid TO
do. Git out ~
That ended the matter. I borrer
Ave eents and hoomiliatinly paid.
/ must confess that things don't work
In Ohio o. Good hev wished. Some
how things don't work Tor US. We
countid on the independent Republican
movement, but that hex petered out to
merely George Wilyum Curtis, the Moo
York Times, and Carl Shurts ut $3.50
speech. Nobody seems to hev pade the
slitest a'enshun to en-. We hev show
cd up Blame az feerful bad man, but
ez the people feendishly persist In votin
for HIM, what must Their estimashun OF
Cleveland be-? Ef they do beleeve in
the soopreme onfitness NV the Rspubli.
kin party, wat must be Their estimis
Nv us?
These be conundrums witch l can't
anser.
But one hope remanes and that hev
determined onto. Our only hope is In
indoosin the Prohibishnists to support
st. John in suffishnt numbers to let
Corners depends onto 1t, and 1t 10 the
only hope hev.
Ihey resolved onto bold stroke. 1
am Qoin into Ohio to help the Prohibi.
shnists. hev detailed the plan to Bias
com and he soes suthin In It and hez re-
loptid. Der vidin me with An outfit and
money enu6 to get to the scene Nv my
labers, after wich must depend onto
the tempranse organizashens.
Basc0m hex given me two white
shirts, four collars. two pares nv cuffs,
and . SCOT NV black cloz Q, 30 that kin
appear suthin like . temperance Repub-
likin. He hez also lent me pare uvl
boots nv hizzen WITCH are actooally
m tes. for 1t wood never do to make
speeches for St. John in one shoe and
one boot, espeshly Of the toes projected
thro en-.
Then hev shaved my entire face
and kalsomined my nose to degree
that wood deserve the elect. hev
metamorphosed myself 80 that, Of not
inspected too closely, l mite pas fer .
superintendent NV q Sunday-skool-a
Alabama hard shell Baptist Sunday.
skool, anyhow. am tryin to appeer
like q Republican, from the border |
States, at least, and with the eileen
shirts my disglse Is perfeck.
shell 20 into Ohio and make speeches
for st. John. shell Insist that this is
the time for Prohibitionists to stand
firm and be troo to their prinsiples. l
shell show EN- that the Republican party
ez nashnel organizashen hez not taken
the eggstreme ground ON this crate
gu estion, and should therefore be driven
from power. But my crate argument
shell be this.
shell laint the Dimocrisy in ez bad
colors ez possible, witch won't need no
Then when the Prohi-
bitionists ask me what we expect to
make by Dustin the Republicans and
putting In the Dimocrisy my. anser will
be prompt. shell say to EN- that ply
siciaus puke ez we'll ez physic their
pashents.
Tho best cure for q evil is to give the
pashenta double dose nv it. Eff the
Prohibishnists put the power into the
hands nv the Dimocrisy for jist one
term, the people will be 80 infernelly
sick NV it that they will, in 1888, rise
IN Their mite and 60 the other eggs
treme, witch will mcleod Prohibishn