Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-06-15
Expert Advice to an Intending HUI
morist.
Teg1s SjHiD0s

Young man, if there is anything better
in this wide world than being humOrist,
it is not being humOrist. If we should
advise you, however, to that effect, you
would spurn our gratuitous double width
! advice, and would 90 on in your wild i'm
pulsiye climb after the unattainable.
| From your letter we can see that you are
going to be humorist.
You think that you can, ''with prac-
| tice," become a humorous writer. There
are about three-quarters Of million of
! young men in this country "with face
| tiOus turn Of mind" who feel just as you
| do. The reason that they do not ali be-
come famous, and have brand of cigar
cites or a post-hOle auger named after
them, is that in the economy of nature
and in the United States, some men are
! born humOrists, some become humOrists.
and fifty-four million American citizens
have humOrists thrust upon them, until
| they feel dizzy and sick at heart, and they
are so tired of wit and humor that they
turn even to the English comic journals
! for relief
We will not advise you as to the best
means of preparing yourself for the pro-
fession of a humorist, but we will tell you
what we know you will do, with or with
out advice. First, you will write some
such cOnundrums as E'Did you ever hear
bed-tick ?'' ''Why does the horse-ly?1
! ''How did the corn-stalkY You will try
these on the village Postmaster. II he
does not knock you down with cancel
ling stamp, or throw dead letter at you,
you will send them to the Clay County
Clarion. If the editor accepts and pub
fishes your contribution, you Will 90 on
in your mad career-you will throw away
your grammar, take an under hold on the
United States language, and go in for
writing German and negro dialect regard
less Of vO1r imOpu6ino dom fhn Mar
quis of EQueensberry's rules. Then an
exchange of the Clay County Clarion
will republish some of your jokes, and
this will fill you up with pride and hGW
govt. You will think that being quoted
is the sine quiRiRe of your success, and,
after several crossroads contemporaries
copy few of your paragraphs, your doom
will be sealed.
About this time your head Will begin to
swell, and you will feel that you are quite
mugwump. Some day you will write
something facetious about prominent
citizen, and the prominent citizen will
come into the Office, and you will be very
sorry that he came.
You will find it difficult to fill up eight
or ten columns week with lurid Western
humor. When 1t is indispensable that
the printer shall have copy you will
scratch your head and sigh; but the funny
paragraphs will not come. You know
they are there, but they will not leak out
because they are piled up under, pro-
badly, sad thoughts of the sick little ones
at home, painful anxiety about unpaid
bills, bad language about that other editor
who steals your paragraphs, and several
other yexatious thoughts that are not
conducive to the birth of hilarious views
of men and things.
You say that you think "theTe cannot
be anything nicer than to be a humorous
writer" Oh, it's nice. It's just perfect
ly lovely; but still, somehow if we had
son who had desire to be humorous
writer, we would urge on him to bring
our gray hairs in sorrow to the grave in
some other way.