New-York tribune., 1884-02-04
THE FATAL CUCKOO CLOCK.

HAPPY HOUSEHOLD.
"It's cuckoo clock " said young married
man to TRIBUNE reporter the other day The young
married man carrying mysterious looking parcel
the brown paper covering which was rent In various
places by knobs and which upon eIamina-
ton proved DepOrtlons of brown wood carved aiter
the fashion OF the ingenious Swiss The young man
looked az nde with face OF comical apprehension
and then said hope I'm abOu to see the Last OF IT, nut
Im sure don't know. wish that the merry Swiss boy
who his long winter evenings TO the construction
of this Internal machine, as the tiine-honored leSem
would have believe, had never been born or been
born South Sea Islander and had any winter eve
nings to employ"
whats the matter7" asked the reporter innOcenty.
"Matcci Matter enough for three editorials, sayagely
replied the young married Listen to me and I'll
tell you tale of human suffering at the hands OF nsen-
wood and metal without parallel For tho last six
months my wife has been limiting that certain corner
on tho staircase OF little house made as she put
It. FOR the reception OF cuckoo clock She would manage
to iug cuckoo clocks into conversations on the rm0tcst
of topics and regretfIily sigh she did so. Well,
stood this as long ~ could, but about Christmas
ne cons ant drip away the hard stone Of my re-
solve and among her Christmas presents she iound
cuckoo cloch-this accursed object in fact which have
under my bought It at large wholesale cstao-
shnout down town, which during the holidays hung out
entcug signs to the effect that they were selling goods
at retail for that week only It cost me S37 80 and the
salesman told me in retail store should have
been charged SIj at least He musi have made n mis-
take for saw its twin brother in uptown jewellers
marked S2J only days aferward. To do the sales
man iustice must say that he warned me that cuckoo
clocks were liable 10 get ont OF order Unconscious Of
my doom, however, I laid the hollow mOCkery on my
wifes table on Christmas morning and thought the laugh
Of srauGed delight l heard cheap at S37 80, or
any other sum. II took several hours of
hard work before that clock was hung up. In driving
e.1..1fs Ev-.-g
and thumb with the hammer and had to get bottle
Of Ponds Extract and lose two days at the Office before
c0ud got them reduced 10 their normal Szo. However
after being reduced ~ despair at its contumacous silence
and Guay finding that the bellows were carefully tied
M had pleasure of seeing e ridiculous bird pop
out, make sound like Hniaiure io io horn fourteen
times in surce sson, accompanlea by cIang me 4
evening I'm neeuous friend looked in and after snortIng
contcnpuousy at my Ignorance, undertook to Sot 1t IN
ing scros. the and break couple Of Seres figures
lad eiycn 20 nv wife @ month two before birth
- ;r: ~ = :: "a fer "Ir, nv yc'e scissors and break,
INK all the blades "f my pcnknife nc got The cuckoo 10
! strike fhe conventional number OF tunes Well.
tircG maj urit but 7 didn't sleep much That cuckoo
murdered sleep in concentrated Mac5Cth style. Every
hafhour jumped mp in bed, and every hour bounded
clear ac The floor Finally stole down stairs IN early
dawn aId threw blanket over the hOird insect. That
made the matter lay IN bed and spcculacd
TO precisely when ne was setting OF his internal to1t
il all. When got down stairs in tho morn
my rIcrny was Silent. lie lld run down. I left mn
so deSUife NY Wrs pInOusiTnces, for two dsys Then
my hand being partially healed, made the attempt
d0rt know II y0a acquainted with the economy OF
cuck0o clock, pt am There's long chain you pull
down aud tteB % weight the other end up Well,
pulled the chain, and the weight went NJ and came
do again--on my let toe This time the doctor had
| iOr. Tie dressed toe and Lol elpd over
and pulled thu other chain This time tba weight went
up the cuckoo Od. He hooed icously tn rytwO
times and tG0 got stlky, 80 pulled the chain again.
1h, time the whole cloc came down and hit me on the
kncecap ard doctors v-it number two made. As
soon rs ! could move, | looked at the clock.
NY wife had been jabbilg at It with
| haT-pins and broken two or the wheels, 80
hung It u and charged me 81 20. For brief space the
! trouble ceased. | was kept awake two nights by the
cheerful chatter OF ae uncanny bird and then he stopped
faIl iuLO dTcaI-launtcd sleep OF many hours from
which aWoIe lind that my bcttcThaif had spent the
time nkcrng at the clock she Elceidly told me tat
she had made Il CO. and that in order make 1t strike
one had ouy TO poke a listle crank inside with ones
finger venturcd suggest that the expense OF hI
boy poke his finger ia at every hour and halfhour
strike was worth. The force of my argument
struck her, and 80 did the clock TIE next time
she went upstairs. 1t inflicted violent scalp
wound and brought attack Of hysteria.
Doctor once ard sal volatile ad. l6. was weary
by this me and after we lad paid carpenter ~ 90 for
fixing up and the clock maker Fl4 for series of visits
which only resulted in the dahOlc creature striking at
irregular intervals after the clOck-makers departure,
made mp my mlnd In the dead Of night took the ac-
cursed article down hastily wrapped II uP as yon See and
stole ont Of the house The die Is cast tue cuckoo will
follow the Eos example and VIII be hurried By my
aycndnc arm into the North River"
Two days sfterward the reporter met the cockhauned
man looking like ghost Of his former self
ms that clock" murlaured he in disOiHted
accents. "Hired beat. ROwei out. Dropped
Dragged river Found clock with and adj
dress wrapping paper. Brought 1t to me. |
had to pay expenses. Clock at loIne now Hcots
hosrey st frequent intervals Cuckoo caught feycrIsh
foolscap 10 the reporter which were ottcd the follow
ing items: