West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1884-04-11
AUNT HANNAH,S HEARING.

Against stupidity the gods are power
less"
My husband is an Epglishman, solid,
practical, with stock of common sense
that is ineNhaustiblc, and a fcrvcnt be-
lief in the capability of very stupid
little wife.
am Yankee girl. and fond of do
mestic life. That suits CaSpar and we
have rs coy n little home rs any two
persons in the world could desire TO
have who possess only Il modest compe-
tency But | may rs well admit til
am very ambitious. and was only too
anxious about getting on in the world
I'm financial way-in fact, | wanted to
be rich.
CaSpar and had little encounters of
wit occasionally about what called the
English. and he the Yankee, OF our
habits and pecularities, but rs he had
LETT London when mere boy his cock
ney dialect was not very pronounced. at
least, not more than mine was in the
other direction, for if he said beg
pawdon " when he fell over the cat, /
said 81 guess n dozen times a day.
instead Cf the II presume so" of
Britain, and we managed TO average
our virtues and defects in manner
satisfactory TO both.
One morning Caspar referred to a let
ter he was reading and said:
''Lottie, my Aunt Hannah is coming
to visit us | forgot to tell you, and
she will be here to-day
'stlow provoking" | answered.
Fate saved me from Immature. Cas-
par supposed referred TO the fac. of
his not telling me sooner.
Yes, it quite slipped my mind, but
III order a at bs htt,
andSou can make n Pudding or tart.
and doIry and amuse the old lady, for
she is WY low-splrited. She writes
that she lost her hearing in the South,
and is much detected over IT."
Deaf Good gracious, this was worse
than all! Then / remembered that Aunt
Hannah was very rich. What was to
prevent her from leaving us all her
money-or better yet, setting Caspar
up IN business with n portion of it ut
onceP had never seen any of Caspar's
relatives. who had only recently come
TO the United States, and | determined
TO show her what a treasure of wife he
had. | would be ears for her, and she
would learn TO depend on me. and
what more natural than that she would
make him her heir. and leave me leg-
acy l would invest it i'm da monds--
at big percentage!
The clock striking ten reused me.
CaSpar was gone. The maid ONLY
kept one was finishing the mornings
work, and | hurried up stairs and made
careful toilet-a subdued morning
negligee, neat and tasteful and not
too eNtravagant Then / sat down
and began 10 dispose over again of my
prospective fortune
The sound of the stage-coach stop
ping at the door recalled me from nv
castle in Spain. and flew to the steps
and spread my hands out i'm welcome
as small, dark spiteful-looking old
lady, with wrinklcd fac. and fal-e
front got cautiously out and stood on
the pavement.
Dearest aunt I shrieked in high
falsetto voice. Il am delighted To
see yGu Caspar could not be there.
but he left his love and welcome for
you"
The driver Of tine coach looked at me
cuuously. rs If he thought ! was talk
ing 10 some one jon the next township
One or two of the ncighbOrs raised their
windows and Looked ont TO see what the
disturbance was, but my new relative
did not appear 10 hear my vol q even at
that awful attitude She was LOOKING
after her boxes and bundles. and mere.
" trOwned in answer 20 my stcntorian
welcome.
"Allow me. aunt. " shouted i'm her
car - took her handbag and shawl
Then paid the driver and dismissed
him, and. followed by Aunt Hannah.
entered the house. A. deaf poo-,Is M,
ally talk rather loudly them elves. /
wa surprised 90 hear the visitor -ay ion
somewhat -haru voice.
SO this is Ca-par- hou.e9 Yer.
nice. ] must say quite elegant
ID wish 10 was q thousand times nicer.
for your akc.' I cxciaimeI or rather
shouted Take oT your fhipgs aunt
AM make yourself at home
What are you screaming at2' asked
Aunt Hannah. pem'anny3 "any opa