The Black range., 1884-09-12

e - 4ASM0 AAEAN - e&ANAAMANs - AAAN
creamery man said when he mixed q
lot u lArd with The buster.-Phila Call
%. shall drink or kiss = asks poe'
Being 3 poet you viii probAly kiss noH
and tsen; but most Of your time will
lee devoted 10 drink.
A little school girls definition ot
scandal WAS: Nobody does nothing
and everybody goes about telling Of II
yerywhele.--lndinapolis News.
IL is a curious fact that = bicycle
rider. although he may only have seen
fifteen summen. has experienced an
immense number Of springs and fails.
California ostrich eggs are quoted At
81. i.2oo ger dozen. II will lie sometime
before ostrich eggs become familiar IS
fried liver on boarding house tables
Detroit Free Press. .
"Oh, don't propose to me herel- ex
claimed young lady. whose love was
about to pour out his avowal Us they
were riding by eorufield. "The veiy
corn has ears s.-BuFIiRgtoR Free Press.
Mamma. was your name before you
married 'TuukintelleY "Why, no.
child What put that into your head -
"0h. muffin mueh-0nly heard pa tell
my goveruess that he loved her better
than Tunkintelle."
They now fIl teeth with electricity.
A woman with tooth full of elec-
tricity and an eye full of fire will be u
balmy object for man ~ meet ON the
top landing when he comes home from
balancing the books at 2 A. M-Pitts-
burg Chronicle.
Milk In the manufacture of Ice
cream is first boiled and afterward par
TALLY congealed. In The boiling. lac
teal acid of baett Use is set free. that
uniting with hypo-sulphide of buleric
oxide. again soliiies rs Il bisulphlde Of
stumakake In the congealing.
A young widow, IN erecting a monu.
ment to the "dear departed" cleverly
ayailed herself of the opportunity to
inscriDe upon the tomb: "Sacred to
the memory of Mathusin Bexuchet.
who departed this life, aged sixty-elght
years, regretting lhe necessity of part
ing from The most charming and best
OF Mtmen."
"My son, whisper it not to the marines
but bear II IN mind yourself, that man
never gets halt seas over unless he
sails With the crew. What crew.
"Corks crew, my son, corks crew. Bot
tie that up in your scrap heap; IT may
work in handy some day"
"Why; am astonished, colonel said
the owner of the land. VI heard that
lot of negroes were stealing my tim.
Der. and here find you, IA white man.
cutting my timber. You ought to lie
ashamed of yourself" Well, to tell
the truth. responded the other party.
Il do hate tn steal timber like darley,
but these cedar trees make such Gully
fence rails that concluded 10 drop all
pride of race."-Ex.
An archdeacon of an Australian
colony, on one occasion going up coun-
try. fell in with Yankee merchant.
with whom he became quite friendly,
and they refreshed themselves together
several times during the day. At the
halting place for the night. the Yankee
who had no idea of his companions
sacred calling, his travelling costume
giving no indication of it-put the
question: "Golng up to mine or tradeg"
"Oh, neither replied the reverend
al am Archdeacon of Vic
toria." "The HI you arew calculated |
the Yankee; take another drink
One of our English cousins was re.
Gently placed at II dinner by the side of
Il charming oman. who had been re-
luested by the hostess to amuse the
stranger. They were getting on very |
well, when he drew attention to
guest opposite by saying: "0h, say.
10 look at that spotted man; did you
sver see such I'M obJectp ?" And the
ady said with much dignity, to
top his prattle, If possible; "Yes,
hat is my husband" And the wretch
Iaid: "Oh. how jolly, you know, be-
,ause you can tell me-is he really
'potted all overp'
"For ten years past" said the new
,oarder, "my habits have been rs regu.
ar as clock work. / rose on the stroke
4 six; half an hour later | sat down
0 my breakfast: at seven / was at
work: dined at twelve, ate supper at
TX, and was in bed at nine-thirty; ate
My hearty food, and hadn't sick day
n all that time" "Dear me- said the
eacon. In sympathetic tones. "and
THAT were you In forp" And in the
wful silence that followed you could
ear the hash crate its teeth.-Brooklyn
.agle.
"Sav. Cap'n, can you give mo small