The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-09-13
Mark Twain on the Canada Side at
Niagara.

Mark Twain on the Canada Side at
Niagara.
managed to find my way back alone
to the place from whence | had started
on this foolish enterprise. and then hur
ricd over to Canada to avoid having to
pay tor the guide At the principal
hotel Tell in with the Major Of the
Forty second Eusilcer> and a dozen other
hearty hoSpitablc Englishmen and they
invited me to Join them in celebrating
the Queen birthday said would
be- delighted to do it | said liked all
the Engli>hmcn had ever happened to
bc acquainted with, and that |, like all
my couutrNmcu. admired and houOrcd
the Queen. But said there wa, one
insuperable drawback ! never drank
anything strong upon any occasion
whatever. and did not SEE how | was
going To- do proper and ample Justice to
ANY bOdN's birthday with the thin and
uugcncrous beverages was accustomed
To The Major scratched his head anC
thought over the matter at considerable
length; but there seemed To be- no way
OF mastering the difficulty, and he was
too much oil II gcntlemnu 10 suggest even
temporary abandonment of my prncl-
pies But bv-and-hN he said
II have it. Drink soda water As
long ~ YOU never do drink ANYTHING
more nutritious there isn't any lmpro-
pric,y in it.
And 50 il was settled We met IN n
large parlor, handsomely decorated with
0n4s aud rvcrgrccn,. and seated our
4. 81
turc comforts, both solid and liquid
The toa>l> were happy and the speeches
were good. and We kept it up I'LL lon2
after midnight. lucN"r cnioNcI myself
more in my life. | drank thirtN-rlght
bottle, OF soda water, But dp you
know tina, i, not reliable article for a
steady drink? II i too ga>>N When
got up in the morning | was fun of "a
and Is tight a, Il balloon. hadn't an
article OF clothing could wear except
my umbrella
After breakfast | found the Major
making grand preparations again. !
asked what it was iur. aud lie said that
this WA, the Prince Of Wales birthday
/, had To bc celebrated that evening
We celebrated it Much against my eN-
pcrtatiul,. We had another splendid
time. We kept it mp ill some time after
midnight again | wa- tired al suda
and So changed on for lemonade |
drank several quarts ! ou may CON
slider ,cuuutde better for "a steady drink
than suda water but iti~ut 81. In tine
morning it nHi Nourrd on my stomach.
biting ANYTHING was out ui Tia" qur>
ton i wa, cgINalcnt to lo,k-iaW
was beginning to icel worn aud sad
too.
shortly after luncheon found the
Major in the midst OF some prepare
tons. lie said lhi, was the Princes
Alicc's birthday | concealed my grief
'N hu i, Tia" Princess Alice asked
"Daughtcr OF her Majesty the Queen,
the Mayor said.
| ,ucrumbrd That night We cclr
blntod the Princes, Alicc'> birthday
We kept il up ~ late rs usual. and real
~ cnioycd Il rood deal But cuul,
not stand lemonade. drnnl, "A couPi'
OF kegs Of ice water
In the morning had tuo,hachr AN,
cramps and chlhuin~. and my tecli
were on rdge from the lemonade. and
WA, still pretty gn-~y. found the in
eNorahlc Major nj it again.
"Who is thi, for | asked
Ills Royal llighnc>~. tine Duhr "
Ednburg.
"Son OF the Queen.
''Irs.
and this is the birthday You haven
made any mi>takr''
NO; the celebration comes OH ia
night.
| bowed before the new cnlamjlN. "
celebrated the day. | drank part IT
barrel OF cider Among the first ol
iects that met my weary and laundirH
eve the next day was The Major, ~ hi
/ intcrminablr preparations, My hear
wa broken and wcpt
Whom do We mourn this time
4. said
:, The Princess Beatrice, daughter q
4 thu Qu"cn,
.Iicrc, now, ,aid, iii j., time t
begin To inquire into this thing li"'
>. long is the Queen family likrlN I
& hold out? Who comes nest on 'h
~ list
- Their ROYAL llighur~sc~ Anuc, Mar,
=. Elizabeth, Gertrude, Augusta. William
, Simon. Ferdinand, Ir'u", N"pm'
:, Susannah, Socrates Samson
"Ilold There i, Limit 10 human Ell
durancc | am only mortal. VIA
= man dare do. dare but hc wh"ca
=, celebrate this family in detail and n
~ To- tell OF it is less or more than man
~, ,uu have to 20 through this every yea
= il j. mercy that | was born
Il America. for haven't constitute
" enough 10 be an Engi-hman cha
o. withdraw from this rutcrpri-" 81
4 In "A {