davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
THE FAST MAIL.
Complaints Everywhere of the Lack of Ac
cOmmOdation to the General Public.

Chicago Journal.
The so-called ''fast" -mail trains which The
Postofice Department began to run last week
between New York and Chicago over the New
York Central and Lake Shore roads, and be-
tween Chicago and Council Bluffs over the Bur
lington road, and between Chicago and st. Paul
and Minneapolis over the Milwaukee e. st. Paul
road have created widespread dissatisfaction
Complaints come from New York because the
mails remain in that city until $50 P. NJ, almost
four hours after the close of business, and after
all important business letters mailed. New
York merchants cannot understand why the
trains cannot leave there earlier, so that their
letters for places west of Chicago may be de
livered during the forenoon of the second
day after they are written and mailed.
So far as Chicago letters are concerned, they say
it does not make any difference whether the train
conveying them reaches there at s, or 10 P. NJ,
or rs A. M.-which is the time at which they
now arrive-or at any hour between 1925 A. NJ.
and A. M. because in any case their letters
would not be delivered until the morning of the
second day. But it is different with their letters
for places in Iowa. Wisconsin and Minnesota
They claim that their letters should reach points
in central Iowa, and st. Paul and Minneapolis. the
second morning after they are mailed While
the New Workers cannot understand why the
train does not start earlier from New York. they
are also growing about the unnecessary delay
in Chicago, from 1925 A. NJ, when the Eastern
train arrives in that city, until o'clock in the
morning, when the trains leave for the West and
Northwest. They believe the mails could be
transferred from the Eastern to the Western
trains in half an hour, or at the outside, in an
hour, and that their letters, instead of lying in
Chicago until 8 in the morning, should be started
on their westward journey at l A. NJ, or, at the
very latest at 1:30 A. NJ 1t is stated that when
the Postmaster general went to Chicago he in
tended to start the trains from there not later
than 1:30 A. NJ. but that he was prevailed upon to
change the hour to 3 A. NJ to accommodate the
Chicago morning papers. New Workers say they
don't care a straw for the Chicago papers, and
that it is an imposition and an outrage on the
country to run trains for their benefit, and at
hours which render the trains practically useless
for the purposes of the business community.
st. Paul and Minneapolis merchants are also
complaining, They want to knew why letters
from New York cannot reach them the second
morning after they are mailed, and say
that, so far as the present arrangement goes,
it is equivalent to their delivery the third morn
ing after.
1t is evident that as they are now run, the
fast mails are considered failure by every
one, except few interested parties in Chicago,
and that if they are to be paid for out of the
public pocket they must be run for the public
benefit.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
MISS FANNY DAVENPORT
Deprives Herself of Candy to Reduce Hell
EmbonpOint.


Interview in St. Louis Post Dispatch.
DO you walk much, Miss Davenport" asked
the reporter
Yes indeed; am great walker; can walk
and have walked as far as twelve miles a day
without feeling tired"
accomplished gymnast, too, since you deter
mined to play 'Fedora'-eXpert in club-swinging
dumb bell lifting and so on. Is it true!
WHO ever heard of such a thingT exclaimed
such things, and don't know anything about
them. Why it would never do for an actress to
swing clubs and play with dumb-bells, because
that would make her muscular, and how would
muscle in woman look on the stage| Just
think of short sleeves and muscular arm"
But, Miss Davenport"
II know what you are going to ask; how did
reduce my weight Well, it is nothing more
than hard work and perseverance. l tell you l
have worked as few people can imagine since I
determined to play Fedora Why, friends said
/ couldn't do it; that couldn't give up my sugar
and my sweetmeats, and my habits. but did.
My art did it. would do anything for that
'Give me your recipe. Fleshy people would
like to know how to do what you have done
well you'd be surprised to know my weight
when began and my weight now. l went to
Italy and staid three months with my sister
Had Paradise of time, though | worked hard
walked twelve miles every day and deted my
self"
''What kind of dietl"
mo candy-that broke my heart; no sugar in
anything and nothing with sugar in it; no veg
etables of any kind except sliced tomatoes and
others on which vinegar can be used; not par
ticle of bread. 1 eat only dry toast, few crack
ers, little meat of some kind, and l drink
claret will have my cup of coffee in the norm
ing, although l ought not to take it, and | eXer-
cise That is what has made me what am
made up my mind to do it, and I have done it
l never felt better in my life. feel strong and
well, equal to my task. I believe that feshi-
ness is disease, anyhow, and that very fat peo-
pie are never we'll"
do You think it was absolutely necessary to
the part of Fedora to be slenderer"
Eyes, do How would big, feshy woman
look falling around the stage and throwing her
self into gentlemens arms' There would be too
much danger of ridcule.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
JEFF Davis as Mathematical Quantity.

Boston Advertser.
We have Figured out" recent remark of Jeff
Davis with the following result: Given the
solid South. Given, 1860 Given, the election
of Lincoln. Given, the war of the rebellion,
and the survival of the fttest, in preference to
death in the last ditch. Given JEFF Davis and
the remark that, ''were the same thing to be
done again l would do as l have done" and what
does it all amount TOT AS 1884 is to 1860, so is
by 1860, and divided by 1884, amounts to nothing.
Or--to change the formula-as the election of
Lincoln is to jeff Davis, so is the war of the re-
bellion to the answer. Multiply Jeff Davis by
the election of Lincoln and divide it by the war
and nothing remains Consequently JEFF Davis
amounts to nothing Q. L. d.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Make the County Offices saIaried.


Judge Linsday has spoken of many excellent
bills that he intends to introduce into the next
Legislature. We would like further to him
introduce bill to make the county offices sal
aried, as they are in Illinois Should such bill
become law, it would cut off one of the great
not be enough money in offices then to justify
vote-buying If the counties throughout the
State will demand Of their representatives that
they vote to make their county offices salaried,
and State offices, too, we will likely get such a
a bill passed. We have no fear about Judge
Linsday on this matter, for he will be for the
taxpayers. But there is always an immense
corruption fund raised by the county officers for
the purpose of buying purehasable members of
the Legislature, and by this means the county
officers are still permitted to make enormous
salaries, to the detriment of taxpayers. We
hope Judge Linsday will prepare to give the
members of the Legislature a lively shaking-up
on this important question to the people.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21

'Nein, ting you been a mail man. He tings
dot schmardt"
Emperor William-'P rinz, 1 tole you how we
fix dot Teller. Ven he to melnen pardy comes l
meinen beck turn, und shtomp nit mein foot
so, und plow nit mein moudt, like vas so madt
could men own hedt bit off Und you shall
say, Ah ha, done 1 tole you, Meister Zargent!
Zee dot9 He vas madt! Bedder you go ouid so
quik as pefare you come in, amt itP Dot will
sehkare hin, l pet!'
Bismarck-"Nein. He vas Yengee, und vas
used to blowing nit der moudt"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
An Honest Confession.
Vincennes News (Dem.)

We made a tremendous noise about our econ
omy; we pointed indignant fingers at the awful
extravaganza of Republicans; we deceived the
people and gained our little point and then we
went to work to provide for the Deficiencies re-
ported from the several departments-defici
cies that could not be avoided; that were not the
result of extravaganza. but of the faithful per
Torrance of the peoples business The next
time we attempted to plead economy the people
laughed at us, and rebuked us by turning the
affairs of government over to the Republicans,
who at least had the merit of frankness and the
good sense to perceive that economy which Grip
pied the public business was not the sort of
economy demanded by the taxpayers.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
A Lenp-Year Episode


Burlington Free Press.
Say, George I'm going to pop ~
The young man reached for his hat with
frightened expression of countenance, and fal-
tered out something about an engagement with Il
man down at the hotel
Why, George, you amt going so early, are
you! was just going to say that if you'd stay
a little while longer Id pop"
George disappeared through the parlor door,
and was hastily fumbling for the catch-lock in
the hall.
"Say, George-what's the matter?' she cried,
rushing out after him. What are you going
away in such hurry forl If you'll stop just a
few moments longer I'll pop"
But George was thrashing around in the storm
house, andjabbing the door all over to find the
latch He finally burst hinge off and was
kiting down the path like frightened deer,
when his girl stuck her head out into the frosty
air and bawled so that she could be heard block
away:
Say, George! if you'll come back I'll pop some
corn!"
George came back.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
The Republican Party Legislation.


All legislation looking to the elevation of the
moral standing of the country was enacted
by the Republican party. All legislation that
has been enacted for the financial interests and
good of the country was done by the Republican
party That party is competent and willing to
grapple with any great question at the proper
time, but it should not be asked to do something
that is impractical and would result in defeat to-
day Had the Emancipation Proclamation been
issued the first year of the war, mutiny would
have followed and while the rebellion would
eventually have been put down, the war would
have continued ten years instead Of four
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
A Rare Chance.

Chicago Tribune.
Miss Parvenu-Oh, mar. There is SIGH a
chance to get nice bargains now, and everything
will be sure to be in style.
Mrs. p What's the use huckstern around
for bargainsl We've got lots o money-dead
loads of it.
Miss P.-Oh! don't mean at the stores You
know the Wentworths that live in that there
splendid old mansion on Blank avenues
Mrs. P.-Yes. the stuck up things think them
selves better nor other people what's got more
money than they ever saw They are blue
blooders, and talk good deal about family and
sich things, don't they?
Miss P-Yes; them's the folks Well, old
Mr. Wentworth has failed, completely busted,
and everything they have is to be sold by the
sheriff Let's go.
Mrs. P.-DIy gracious, but that's luck Wen
go there ard buy their coat-of-arms
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
A discreet Author.


LOnuOn Letter IN NOW lOfk ITlDune.
An irritable author went the other day to
''have it out" with his publishers. Messrs Chatto
& Windus. He had never seen either of them
in the flesh, having only communicated by let
ter with the firm, and, when he found himself
in the presence of one of them, felt timid and
confused, 50 he stammered with oblique indig-
nation: Sir, don't know whether you are
Mr. Chatto or Mr.. Windus, and don't want to
be rude. But if you are Chatto, d--n Win
dus; and if you are Windus, d--n Chatto."
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Would Like to Try Tilden.
Warsaw Times

warsaw Times.
So much has been said about the fraud of
1876, and the Democracy has been so loudly in
favor of the ''old ticket"-a portion of that
party, at least-that we had high hopes of show
ing them how easy the Republicans could lay out
the "Old Cipher" once more; for we candidly
believe that the 'old ticket" would have made
the run easier for Republicans than any other
that could be put up to be knocked down.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Indiana at Chicago.


FOTt WNyne GA1stIe
1t is not, however, for Indiana to promote her
own chances at that convention by attempting
to 'boom" any of her sons The influences that
nominate candidate for the presidency are like
the forces that move the tides; they are born in
depths of popular thought and feeling far down
beyond the reach of any man or any State
We can well afford to say to our sister State:
timber as grows any where; if you want stick
of it, it is at your service; if not we have other
good use for it," and in that attitude to watch
and wait
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Clay County Enterprise,

The ruling of the Supreme Court that V olun-
tary intoXication is no excuse for crime will
hardly meet the appreciation of those who insist
that intoxication should excuse all manner of
crime and wrongdoing. Neither does ungovern-
able passion constitute insanity nor palliate the
offense committed while under the influence of
such passion. Sooner or later our courts will
have to rule that intoxication itself is a crime,
subject to severe punishment When this be-
comes part of the common law there will be
fewer crimes and surer punishments than now.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
The Temperance Pulse of the State.


The indianapolis papers greatly mistake the
pulse of the State on the temperance question.
It is true that politician cannot well get along
in that city without the whisky vote, but while
this is true in indianapolis, it is equally true
generally throughout the State that politicians
can better do without the whisky vote than the
temperance vote. The people of the State are
generally in favor of prohibition, and it will come
within the next few years just as
time moves on Within five or ten years prohi-
bition will rule in Indiana.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
The Logic of the Porter BIZ.
richmond Palladiu

richmond Palladium.
If Fitz John Porter was not entitled to his
sentence, as administered by the court martial
which tried him, he was wronged and ought to
have full pay for all these years. If this full
pay is not granted, we have right to conclude
that the vote of vindication does not pronounce
him guiltless, but simply pardons him. on the
ground that he has suffered enough for his crime
You can't get around the logic of this reasoning.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21

Logansp0rt Journal.
The new fast mails put on several important
lines during the past two weeks are meeting
with all kinds of abuse as well as the most hearty
approval 1t would, of course, be impossible to
establish system of fast-nlail trains that would
please all classes but the object should be to
serve the interests of the greatest number and
those who pay into the treasury the greatest
proportion Of the postofice receipts.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Evidences of Democratic Harmony.

New Albany Ledger (Denl.)
The howlers for congressional caucus are
only few, but their bowls are loud and long. A
little coterie of freetraders little ring of polit
cal fanatics who are aspiring to rule the party,
are frothing at the mouth and trying to make
congressman believe they voice the sentiment of
the party. They do no such thing. The party
does not want caucus action on business meas
ures. 1t is opposed to such rule on principle and
nOlicy
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
The Third Party schemers.


WOrthington Times,
The scheme to organize third political party
in Indiana of Prohibtionists comes from the
Democratic party. 1t is intended to defeat the
Republican party. The better class of temper
ance workers will not approve of the project,
but will treat the temperance question as a moral
one, and fight for what they believe to be the
right within theranks of the old parties.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
The Demand of the People.


ShebyYllle Volunteer.
Better county government and cheaper county
government is the big issue in Indiana. If the
Democratic party want to win the State III spite
of soap and two-doar bills let them make a
fight for lessenng of taxation and reduction of
expenses in courts and counties. Talk to the
people about their money and you will always
have attentive listeners
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
A Chicago Hotel Bill.


FnlIaueIpIla NaII.
In Chicago hotel-Guest: GLOW much is my
bill7' Clerk: How much money have you got
with YOU" Guest: About 5000" Clerk:
Clerk: "Well, your bill is just 5000
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
The Disgusting Jenkins,
Warsaw Times.

General Greshams ideas of the socialities of
private life have been rudely shocked by the So
eiety itenizers at Washington, one of whom
wrote to Indianapolis that his beautiful and ac-
complshed daughter was engaged. 1t seems
blat the General, Mrs. Gresham or her daughter
never knew any gentleman by the name pub
Hshed as herafianced
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
An Inpediment.


I have fearful sore throat this evening,
Adolphus," said Celeste to her latest mash, who
was giving her more tafy than would load an ex-
press wagon. But darling, that has nothing to
%n @a It has n ee mha f msy yG ng
can't swallow all that stuff; that's how"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Great Chance to Secure Votes.

Louisville Courier-,Iournal
The party that does most to provide places
for the storage of surplus Ohio river water will
pick up good many votes along that beautiful
stream
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
A Marrow Escape.


Il should be glad TO hear you sing some day, ."
remarked a gentleman to young lady who was
studying music Il shall be delighted.
have the song with me now, and will sing it for
yes. I meant some other day when Shall have
moro leisure"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Call 1t a Donnybrook Fair.

Philadelphia Press.
To discuss party policy on the Morrison bill
the Democrats don't know whether they want n
caucus or a conference, but they shouldn't split
hairs over terms. A row by any other name
will be Just as amusin,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
He Can't Scare Sargent.
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.

&IV'sDuTg ChTOnlcIe-IeIegfaph.
Emperor William-"P bismarck hat dot Yen
gee feller-auch we heist du-ah-zargent,
AarEent, dot vos der feller-haf he ogskoozes yet
madt why for he dot letter hat sent}'
Bismarck-"Nein. He vos pig headed yack-
ass. !ch gay saught, you ting l a postman vosl
you ting dot ledders carry9 And he hat saidt
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21

Do not madly risk consumption when a few
drops of Hales Honey of Horehound and Tar
will inevitably cure coughs, colds catarrh, infu-
enDa and every other ailment leading to that
awful malady. Sold by all druggists
Pixies Toothaehe Drops cure i'll one minute
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21

give him a rest and let some ether man have a
chance. We believe in rotationin appointive as
much as in State and county Offices Ten years
is long enough to keep any man in any place.
Give US a change Mr.. Gresham.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
STATUS of the Keely Motor.

Springfield Republican.
The Keely motor is finished, tue workmen
have been discharged, but-''the vibrators must
be localized and adjusted" to a nicely. Then
the motor will mote-0r Keely will ask for more
time.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
A Scheme to Excite Attention.
New York Life.


Sixteen years with Madame Patti" is the title
of a book soon to be published by PATHS hus
band" Another author yelling himself in i'm
penetrable darkness for the sake of exciting
public attention.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21

I HAVE removed my place of business to No.
38 West Washington street. store of Marcy, the
jeweler. Have the finest stock of spectacleS
and eye glasses in the State. Guarantee salts
faction THOMAS II. CLAPP,
Expert Optician.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21

JoIumOus RepuDIcan,
How can the country trust party that is all
at sea on the greatest public question before the
people; which is waiting, Micawber-like, for
something to turn up, and ready to adopt any
policy that may appear populaN
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21

To make salad that is certain to please all
tastes, you need only Durkees Salad Dress
ing. Nothing equal to it was ever offered, and
none so popular. 1t is a superb table sauce
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Give Mr.. French a Rest.

Clay county Enterprise
Superintendent French has had charge of this
division since Oct d. 1874 and has grown rich
1t is time PostInaster-general Gresham should
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
Horsford's Acid Phosphate,


DR.. John P Wheeler, Hudson N. Y. says:
81 have given it with decided benefit in a case
of innutrition of tho brain from abuse of alec
hol.p
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
The Great Shasn Raiser.

Mr.. Alfred Hay, of Boomanoomana Australia,
says that few applications of st, Jacobs Oil,
the great pain-reliever, cured him of painful
neuralgia
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
We Give 1t Up.
Chicago Times
IT Mo.,,,,na

ChIcaRo Times.
If Morrison is 'thc star-eyed goddess of re-
FORM and Randall is "the painted harlot of pro-
lection what is Wattersonl
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-03-21
ADJUSTMENTS
A MAGNIFICENT LINE OF CARPETS.

In MOQUETTES show all the different designs of the
best manufacturers; also tu line of WILTONS.
In BODY BRUSSELS the largest line in Indiana, repre-
sentng the leading manufactures of this country we'll
choice patterns in English makes
Tapestry Carpets of eight different leading manufacturers,
and Tapestry Vevets of the choicest leading spring styles
In INGRAINS all qualities, ranging from the lowest in
price the choicest makes in Standard etasuPers and three
plies control in this market the sale Of the famous ART
I[IDDERMINSTERS.
In short have everything in the Carpet line and able
to offer my goods at positively BOTTOM PRICES.