St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-11-03

The 1rost Gwshy Lore-Leffer on Earth bv
Lnfton BllLsrer.

LDffON Brslscer-
There come times in the lives OF even the
greatest and most gifted of men when it
would be far better for them and their repu-
tatiOns should they take a pistol instead Of
a pen, powder Instead Of an ink-staud aud
spatter their brains literally instead Of fgur-
atively upon the paper before them.
Many are the politicians who have wept
tears as bitter as the ink they used and been
tortured with stsbs as sharp as the pens they
held. Love letters are often fatal to the fu-
turs happiness Of those who wrote them and
a few lines in black and white have undone
the work Of lifetime.
The letters OF Lord Lytton-BuIwer, written
to the woman whom he afterwards married,
aud now recently published, are
marvels Of idiocv Did the
world not know from long and and Gym
ieal experience what follies men viii commit
with pens in their hands these evidences OF
the great novelist's driveling sensuaIity and
and imbecile philandering would be set down
rs forgeriec.
In spite u the fact that he was a young
man when he wrote these letters, 10 is hard 10
imagine that the same hand which penned
1.-The Last Days OF Pompei," the drama of
''Riehelieu," and especially bis soberer works
''AIy Novel; aud The Cations" could ever
have shed such rivulets OF amatory slush as
he poured out upon the woman he thought
worthy 10 be his wife. OF course, no man
could well afford to have his reputation test
ed by bis youthful love letters or his moments
OF babbling and confidential spooniness.
But surely few men of the sense and brains
which Bulwer really possessed ever had with
in them such fountains of slop that spouted
torrents of rapturous swash. Here is an ex-
ample OF two. He speaks both OF her and
himself as poodles;
MY ADoRED PooDLE--Many many
thanks for 90 darling letter. Ne is so hap
py, me is waggfng my tail and putting my
ears down. me is 10 meet 90 tomorrow. o
day OF daysi can not tell you how very,
very happy you have made mel No, nv
own love, don't come before Il; bat really
shall meet you'll Oh, darling OF 6arlingsl L
cannot write TO you tonight, nor at any
length now. The best plan about the carrl-
age will be for you 10 get in 1t first, and 1t
can then pick me up in another St., so that
you viii cutter 1t alone. When you are once
in. put down We blinds. o zoo love Of loves,
me is ready TO leap out Of my skin for joy.
Adieu. Twenty million kisses.
E. L. B.
''Tben, again." he writes, stake 90 mil
lion MILD million Ikisses,l and so zoo
thinks to &nvIct me Of equivocation by say
ing me continues 10 dream, tho not to
sleepl To be surel 90 does not call dream
ing slep.
This perhaps is as near the verge OF down
right imbecility as ever a man In love dares
-, d. n,.1. 4
that he actually tumbled over into bottom
less depths of bosh like this:
''And so they dressed my Poodle in white
and black o zoo darlingl how like
POodlel And had 90 oo's boOtlful ears
eurled nicely, aud did 90 not look too pretty,
and did not sll the puppy dogs run after 90
and tell 90 what darling 90 wass All, me
sends 90 nine million kisses TO be distribut-
ed as follows; 500, 600 for 90 boOtiful mouth,
100000 TO 90 right eye, $50, 900 10 90 left
eye, 1000, 600 10 90 dear neck, and the rest
to be equally divided between 90 arms and
and hands. Ten million more kisses, my
own darling, for your letter which has just
arrived. IL Is read. and now before 1t Is an
swered, take the following, marks Of kissesl
Pray, darling, shall we not kiss prettily to-
morrow DarlingD)(A) R) ~ o. On (GD
Well, my darling, pray write, for my soul
hungers and thirsts after your writeousness-
10, OOO, 900 marks Of kisses] and Is lbltes
81, 0O0, 600, OO0, 900, 900 marks of
kissesl my dearest rose.
''My own dear, kind, darling, love and
poodle.
''Adieu, my own rose, my life Of life, very
poodle ofvery poodles, adieul
"Adieu, 90 own idolatrous puppy.
Il =
est, kindest, boctifulest darlingest, angel
est, poodle, 90 own puppy.
Asparagus acorn pup bobadil Of boots
L."
1t is hardly to be expected that such an
extreme should not have its opposite and that
he arose at last from this abyss of folly only
to become, after his marriage, a cruel and
brutal husband. They had been married sew
en- years and we're travelling in Italy. Here
he kicked and banged her on the stone floors
until she was black snd blue and had TO keep
her bed; and he swore at her when she asked
for money to pay the bills in London. At
one night in a great rage at her for not an
swering him and provoked by her exhibition
OF jealousy he seized carving knife from
the dinner table and rushed upon her. She
warned him ''for Gods sake to take care
what he was about" when, dropping the
knife and springing on her, he ''made his
great teeth meet in her cheek and the blood
squirt over her."
He Afterwards wrote her a most abject and
penitent letter., said she had been cruelty
outraged while he stood eternally degraded
In his own ewes. He admitted that sense
reason, manhood, everything gave way, and
that he was a maniac and brute. He was
convinced that he was only fit 10 live alone,
for God and nature had afflicted him with un-
social habits, weak nerves and violent pas
sions. He blamed her for nothing. reproached
her with nothing, and arranged the terms of
separation.
Such infirmity OF temper seems at first in
great contrast with the pitiful and puerile out
pOurings Of his love epistles. But they were
OF the same piece One was the egotism snd
lunacy Of love, the other Of passion exhaust
ed and supplanted by indifference aud dis
gust. His wife ives undoubtedly frivolous
aud vain, Such doses as he gave her in his
letters would have sickened sensible woman,
and lover as intelligent as Bulwer would
have known it. But he must have felt sure
that she would be fsttered and tickled with
such drOolings, or he would have withheld
them. A women pleased with SOLDERING
language Of this kind would be incapable Of
either understanding his strength or being
patient with his weakness.
MIR. ARTHUR. MISS FRELINGHUYsEN