Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-29
Blu Bibles.

A yonng man can run through his property
very quickly if it is only . common house 3t.
N. o. Pic.
Why should baby be SO welcome to every
trHe Christian Because il is 30 often little
cross.-BurIington Free Press.
Two Connecticut lovers have just made up
after quarrel which took place fifty eight
years ago. Some people cannot hold malice.
Cincinnati Saturday Night.
It is curious fact that no matter how
green one Is in the use of the telephone, the
moment he puts his mouth to the transmitter
he turns yeller. Herald.
Boston man claims to have q collection
of sc, 900 pins, all of different kinds and
sizes. He is probably married and picked
them up around the houss.-Fres Press.
"A Chicago man has disco sered wonderful
force that is going to supplant the steam
engine. 1t is probably motive power caused
by confning boarding house butter in q
strong iron Chicago Sun.
"Fine morning, your honor" afably re-
marked the man who was arrested the night
before for being drunk and disorderly. Yes
indeed" heartily responded the Justice,
''quite fine morning; in fact, ten dollar
fine morning "-Dstroit Free Press.
A Boston man has been granted . patent
On a machine for cutting the coupons off
bonds. Every newspaper Office will need
shears sharpened, and will be able to worry
along without the contrivancs for another
year, at least; perhaps two years.-Norris-
town Herald.
He will attend. 'sMr. B." said
lady in Washington to prominent Congress
man, 'I can expect you at my Tea on
Thursday, OF course" ''Tea?" qusrisd the
lighted up with look of intelligence. s'Ah,
yes; tea. will be there, my dear madam,
was the hearty respoAse.-Philadelphi
Call.
''And SO your daughter is in the academy
How does she get along?' ''SplendidIy;
she is studying all the higher branches" SIS
she studying the languages?" ssOh, yes,
she has nearly completed the language of
flowers and is now engaged in the language
of perfumes My! what an education that
girl will have when she gets through
Boston Transcript.
A Brooklyn woman said to her servant
girl fresh arrival on the latest boat from
Cork: Bridget, go out and see II Mr.. Block,
the butcher On the corner, has pigs feet "
The dutiful servant went out and returned.
''Well, what did he say?" asked the mistress
Sure, he said nuthin', mum" HAS he got
pigs feet?" Faith, couldn't see mum-he
had his boOtsl on. New York Commercial
Advertiser.
Mrs. O.-"Why, how can you think of
asking me TO start ON Journey on Friday?"
Mr. O.-"And why not on Fridayi" Mrs.
O.-"You know that Friday il an unlucky
day." Mr. C..''You certainly did not con-
slider it so at one tims.n Mrs. O.-aWhy?''
Mr.. O.-''n you had believed Friday an un-
lucky day you would not have married me
on Friday" Mrs. CIT was after that
that changed my mind about Fridsy.''-
Christian at Work.
Not long ago citizen of Michigan avenue
had a small house to rent and he got paint
brush and shlngle and hung out sign read
ing: "To Wrent." Everybody who passed by
had a smile at the orthography, but IL was
three or four days before the owner ventured
TO ask of a butcher: 'Say, what on earth
makes everybody grin at the siRn?" 'sWhy,
its the spelling that gets em.' It was ex-
planned that the ''wrent" was mot exactly in
accordance with Webster's latest, and the
speller went away munbjing: "Weli, IL they
are SO particular about it can change it."
And he did. Within two hours there was
new sign reading Two Let."-Detroit Free
Press.