davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

circulation. The dog came over and teli among us. Then a wash.boatd. brass kettle. the cat and the hired boy came over. never xa~ any thing like IL Every tune looked up, something would strike me. Afser awhile she began ,e throw dirt and chips over until thought we would all he bu. ned. yelled ior help. aud old Mrs. figgiewofth, kind old soul ~ ho li.es near. came ,o see what was the matter, good hearted old creature. The ncathen who sold me the eow said tha, she would sixe us ali ap with an ldea to furnish tho tetl. a,site amour; oi milk and probably that's wha, she was doing. bu, am no, used ,o such estimates being made on my family
 Finally she. the courteous animal, jumped over the fence ami lett. and am out on an lmpo,tsn, effant. No. can't preach Tor you to-day. putting cap on thc gun. AS he oaueh, sigh, of Parish peeptng itom behind a distant tree. l wish you all well and hope the 1 otd will take care of you, but at present am compelled 10 discharge a duty winch l owe to my wife, myself, my neighbors and society" and he cooked the army gan and slipped away like deer hunter
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02
A BAD INDICTMENT

A highly y.r~spee cl,iten was ar- raigned before court for shooting and killing friend The evidence ~as dire. , and after exhaustive arguments had been made ,he judge .aid
 It is clearly proved ,ha, yeu ate guilty as charged by the indictment
 But pto,es, my innocence, repl'ed the prisoner The indictment reads ,ha, did shoot and k.li ,h. gen,lem an wi,h powder and lesden bullet I'm. is mistake had no bullets at the time, so loaded my gun ~,th powder and d horse -shoe nal
 That. indeed. alters the ease," sad the judge The indictment said bullet when |, should have said nail You arc diseharged. aif
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02
BURIED ANOTHER.

1 see said Sir. Tomlinson, turning from his newspaper and addressing his better ,~o-thmds, ,ha, old man Cresile has buried another wife. v
 What, you don, say say soi Why, his frs, wife only died two weeks ago. When did he marry again ?"
 He hasn't married again.
 "Tomlinson, are you a fool ?"
 Presumably, my dear, but why this outburss! Csestie has buried another mans wife. He is an undestakes, you know"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02
THs sQuArrER's FOOL,

a am looking for A stray horse." said man stopping a, the house of an Al. kansa~yer and addressing a native who came eu, and leaned an ,he low fence.
 :" Nhut sorscr horse r.
 :" Sottel, with a white star in his fore head"
 How longs he been gone"
 Abou. day and halt
 = Good work nag -
 " "first.tate"
 "Wanter ssop hun tui a he,te, one g''
 :" No. believe not.
 White star n his forehead. yet say s'
 "Yes."
 An yer dnnt ~anic. swop him ts
 No. ilbeiicve not.
 Certain he's good work nag r
 of course am"
 An ye, don't wan,es swap hun flu. A better one y''
 . He.c. my friend, 1 haven't time to talk sueh nonsense. wan, to know If you have seen anything ot the kind of horse 1 dcssfibcd.
 Why d,dn', you say go r
 "t did"
 Yer didn't said that's the kind O hoAs yer was lookin fu,. but yes didn' A ei I'd secd hum"
 Excuse me, for | intended to- He got loose and 1 have looked for him nearly eveywhete'
 ..ood work nag
 ,plen,ild. thc best 1 cvet saw"
 Don't want tei swap hlm Tor better one
 told ,ou no
 ltul tha, was betore you ased ef I'd .ecd hlm"
 The seaTcher after information looked A, the sqaa,,et with hard stare, but the sqaatter. nndaunted. leaned on the fence. while tobacco lu,oe showed s disposition ta ,r,, kle from the eorners oi his mouth. |" thought sha, [ had seen the bigges, iooi in Inc country. bu, you take the lead sad the inquire, with a deiibcsaiioa
  though, ,hA, my ~iies father was the b,gges, fool ID the universe. but you arc the captain
 Wall. nos. he,e. s1angrr cf you're ou, lookin' fai fools. les gi, down an wait tell my son la~ comes from the still- house. Talkin 'bou, fools. mistef, " you're way behind The iases, d,skivesies. Tell yer ~hu, tha, on-in-law O mine done. We vas killin' hogs the other day an the iua thing l knowed he had st aijed h,ssef an hung hisself on the pole, shores yer bon he did. Tell yer 'aather ,h,ng he done Come frosa meet n to,her nigh, an pu, the mule In the house an went ou, an stood all nigh, in the lot. ouanger. don't talk bout fooia ,n ih,s nei eighbofh ood lessen ger wanief gi. ioored. Wy. sah. a felles insuited my son-in-la~ ,'o,hef day an he kicked his seii cross the road '
 Ina, has nothing to do with my horse, and l want you to tell me whether of no, you have seen hiEn "
 Wall. tell me 'sackly ~hg, sores hoss he ,s
 oorrcl, ~nh -hste star ia his fore head
 Good work nag 7"
 " AS good as ever s4~. and ;"
 Don't wantes trade him for A better one, do you z and the squxiter lodged jas' in lime ,o a.oid biow which the stranger leseled si him. So far as the AfkansAw man IA eone erned. the sorrei horse with A white star in hiA forehead. he good work nag which the stranger d,d mol care to swap for better one, is still al large.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02
CORRECT.

Class in mesAphystes Teacher :-- When has man ,he most confidence ia hlfns~ift
 Sensible I elIow-Whsn he wants to buy something on credit
 Teacher when the least?
 Sensible FsllSv-When the ball is pre- senied
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

PRESIDENT HAYES has given t out that he does not intend to be inter- viewed duriag the coming campaign. Something ike the doctor vho advssissd for limited practice.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

Salvini and Edwin Booth do not agree IN their conceptions of King Lear, but they agree that mace oaroni and ham hold the balance of power.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02
LIMNINGS.

Chicago is disgusted with Italian opera. In ,ha, city the hog instead of the mon- key must dance around the organ.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

Lord Lyt,on spoke wisely when he said that the stomach is the seat of memory. for man is no, likely to forget that he's hungry.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

all shas tttl tuC AoS iuSaSao oi tiC Htoii- key mus, dance around the organ.
 Lord Lyt,on spoke wisely when he said that the stomach is the seat of memory. for man is no, likely to forget that he's hungry.
 Salvini and Edwin Booth do not agree in their conceptions of King Lear, but they agree that macearoni and ham hold the balance of power.
 A writer of natural history says tha, he is at joss to discover how long dog lives This should no, cause perplexity. as the average dog generally lives until he dies.
 An Indiana editor was sued for breach ot promise. bu, when he explained that the girl had mania for making scrap quilts the court excused him and im- posed the cost on the plaintiff
 The life of kentuckian has been shortened by tobacco. A hogshead of the weed fell on him and crushed him out of symmetrical proportions. l, can not be denied that tobacco in large quan- titles is injurious.
 Scientists have discovered that man $ finger nails grow much more rapidly than his toe nails. This startling piece of in- formation clears the human mind Of a darkened mis, and the tariff question can now receive due attention.
 Every effort to invent cotton picking machine has proved unsuccessful. The last machine, invented by an Arkansaw man. tore of the operators clothes. threw him over fence, and then hobbled oii like wounded grasshopper.
 "A silver dollar is a fraud says po- iitical exchange. All right. sir. hand it over. We are willing to shoulder many such frauds, bu, a, present, mendacious confession, the fraud is trife sca'ce ' in this and neighboring establishments.
 A London paper charges our friend. the queen, with stinginess. We had d. ways entertained a differen, opinion of tAis baxom lady, and have ever regarded her as being liberal to fault. especially as she gave her affections 10 brawny S,ote hman.
 An en,erprising Arkansaw editor hav- ing in vain made numerous gifts to ln- crease the circulation of hls paper, finally offered the following inducement :" The publisher of this paper, having recog- nized the demands of the community. has decided to offer quart bottle of whisky with each yearly subscription. It IS said that the editor has rented ware house in which to store his suhscrip- ton books.
 Political Caucus Let's see, colonel, how can we inlure the chances of the general: He isn't exactly of our stripe and we must down him" "Yes, know Say, have it. Let us publish newspaper articles declaring that he is vigorous and that age has not affected him. But that is fact, for he is vigorous" Makes no difference The public would regard the statement as lie, and will take up the idea that his friends are trying ts holstz him up. Doah you see,-
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

A writer of natural history says that he is at joss to discover how long dog lives This should no, cause perplexity. as the average dog generally lives until he dies.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

A London paper charges our friend. the queen, with stinginess. We had d. ways entertained ditferen, opinion of tAis buxom lady, and have ever regarded her as being liberal to fault. especially as she gave her affections 10 brawny S-otc hman
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-02

An Indiana editor was sued for breach ot promise, but when he explained that the girl had mania for making scrap quilts the court excused him and inn posed the cos, on the plaintiff
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

The Day il one Of these latter DAY
sharp alecks who believe nothing
OF what they hear and less OF what
they see. Although every body pres.
'hl al the committee meeting, OF
"ho read their proceedings, knows il
refused tomeddle with the twO.ihird,
rule, aud although the quill driver o
The Day copied the resolutions fefus
ing to touch il, still he don't believe
u word of il. Neither does he be
lieve word OF biblical incident OF
Ananias aud Sophia, al least he has
no fear of its repetition.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

the Gazette don't want rule, squarr
and plumb democracy. a .sprt OF
free and easy jacket suits it best, and
the fact is Texas democracy alway :
was "A sort OF iree-to all. 60 as-y on
please party. aud will br mighty shy
OF rules, even which are accepted ia
all othcr .iates.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

The tender toolcdncss of the ma
lority in the caucus is the best arsu-
ment we hsye seen for not sending
congressman to the democratic con
vention. Let the people sen dele
gates who know less OF policy and
party machinery, and more OF the
sentiments of the people.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

A FEW months ago the Wnshingi on
CORE -poudcut was the chief champion
of the senatorial clerkshlp move. Now
II seems there was not as much chicken
pie In il as The W c. anticipated, aud
he belabors II upon al occasions.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

THE News has not much room 10
brag 1t missed the sentiments OF
the executive committee on the two
thirds rule about "A far as the Post
did on two conventions.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

THERE Il defiant ring about ihc
Fort Worth Gazette since the com
miltee meeting which says that II has
ample time to make governor itself,
il 1t feels inclined, before the commit
too Iupptg
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

THE EXAMINER ta- several times
had TO pass through the shadr- of
Auania9 and Sophia since the
spirit OF those historic individuals.
leaving their summer rrsorl, have
taken up their abode in the Asncum
OF our lilrc ucighbur.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

Why should not senators employ
daughters, wives Gnd worthy ladies
as private secretaries, if they are
competent, AZ well as the Washing
ton newspAprr corresponding.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

If "Oid Bis. D" gets nu,thcr grab at
the American eagle. that proud bird
will not have many tnll feathers lett W
--tx change.
Thought it was briatcs, not ienth-
ers, he was pL Hing.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

FREE GRASS seems 10 have fired the
soul of the bAHctte'- paragraphist.
Its paragraph column now ntshc-
Tx distant prairie fires in the ,tilly
night
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

WnEN the stock OF the new Fort
Worth National bank was put Oh the
market, the other day, $50 900 more
than enough to start 1t was subscribed
al once,
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

II Mr.. Randall has buildOzed the
m aiorlty in the eau IL, there Is Ii''lo
nope that the national platform wlll
be either pig or puppy.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

TuE muttcriug- Of the Fort worth
Gazette bode no good to certain pro-
lc.-ed iriJnd- who failed to come to
time in the trying hour hl Waco,
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

On what slops hath our representa-
tyes ted that they have become W
weak they cry, help me, Randall, or |
sink.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

THE entire power of the state seems
paralyxcd before the Cincinnati mob.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

THE northern outrage mill seems
TO have begun to grind at Cincinnati.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

SUPPOSE the Cincinnati riot had
occurred in Texas.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01

Inc best smoking tobacco is Little
Joker"
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-04-01
REMOVAL! /!

On account of removal we offer our
cutire stock OF watches, locks, jeNe ~
silverware at strict cost. This only to
first Of March. Come early and Secure
bargains
LEvINSKI 4 ALyEA.
Jewellers.
Cor. Fourth and Austin SITS
Waco, Texas.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-05-16
Plantation Philo. ophv.

The result of good deal of observ-
ing and .mcditating may he found in
these bits of plantation Philosophy, y
published in the Arkansas Traveller:
Do reason dat we thinks dat our mud
ders could beat anybody cookin' is be-
cause we KANT carry de boys appetite
inter ole age.
De baby is more ap'ter die den de
man; de little apple is more ap'ter fall
den de well-grone one; de ole man ii
more ap'ter die den de young man, fur
de ripe apple is al'ers ready ter drap.
1t il q good thing ter be 'dustrious,
but too much stirrin' roun' amt good
fur yer. De pateridge is more ap'ter
be seed by de hawk when he's fyin'
about den when he's restin' under de
bush.
Once Q man tole me dat he didn't
want de Office what he had been nom.
mated fur, an dat he wan agwine ten
az no man ter vote fur him, but when
he foun' dat Ihad voted asin him be
come aroun' an raised u row wid me.
Now, when . candidate tells mo dit
he doan want do oAios, I may noe ~
nnthiln', but I has ) strong ,Apisisa az
- &A14f, U AZ
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-05-16

am Baptist Minister and before even
thought of being clergyman graduated in
medicine but left lucrative practice for nv
present profession, 10 years ago, was for
many years sufferer from Quinsy, ssThomas
Eclectric Oil cured me-" was also troubled
with Hoarseness and Thomas Electric Oil Al
ways relieved me. Ny wife aud child had
Diphtheria, and Thomas Electric Oil cured
them" and il taken in time it will cure seven
times out Of ten, am confident it is cure for
themost obstinate Cold, or Cough and il any one
will take small teaspoon andhalf I'll it with the
Oil and then place the end Of the spoon in
one nostril and draw the Oil out of the spoon in
to the head by shifting as hard Is they can until
the Oil falls over into the throat and practice that
twice Q week, don't care how Offensive their
head may be, it will clean it out and cure their
Catarrh. For deafness and Earsche it has done
wonders to my certain knowledge. tits the only
medicine dubbed patent medicine that have
ever felt like recommending and I am very anx-
ious to see it in every place, forI tell you thatI
would not be without it in my house for any con-
sideration, I am now suffering with pain like
Rheumatism in my right limb and nothing re-
lieves me like Thomas Eclectric Oil
Dr. e F. CRANE.
Dunkirk N Y
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-05-16

IL . =.
NJ 4, r., :: - tive =: ~ = ri
saek No. bsing Aees III 1eeaed esslutalA
s'Hsse He - Bon wilhin another; =.
1ho a. 1t Md
Was vesy GOOD;
We cannot ny @ much for t'othse.s
.yoAn Macpherson
We . reGlsskable person,
re stood six test two
Without his shoe,
And he WAS alew
Al WateflOO.~
Here lies TIE body Of Mary Sexton,
Who pleased many man, but never vexed 0ne:
Not like The woman who lies under the next
st0AAn
''Here lies John Hill, nAaa OF skill,
His age was Ave times ten,
He ne'er did good, nor ever would,
Had he lived - long again"
"Here lies DR. Trollope,
Who made these stones roll mp;
He took dose Of jslop,
And God took his soul up"
Poor Martha Anell, she's gone away,
She would II she could, but sl,e could not stay;
shed two bad legs aud Q batidish cough,
But het legu 1t was that carried her Oh :"
Here lies I,
KILLED by sky
Rocket In my eye"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-05-16
VT ana Ruuor.

A fashion magazine has an article on
sWtat viii the coming girl wear?" If
tho axticle refers to the servent girl of
tho future, she will propably wear the
best the lend affords.
what J il that you like about that
girlf" asked one young man of another
q arm, " was the brief reply.-Bur-
lington Free Press.
a farmer is contented with his lot
when he has had the grass cut on it, for
then he wants NO mower.-Commercial
Bulletin. That's about the scythe of it.
Boston Post.
A. crowded horse car. Enter Mrs.
Aulcahey with jug. Mr.. Mahoney,
Who il seatcd, facetiously, "Wud I
houd the whiskey for yez, Misthress
Mulcahey ?" Mrs. NJ. with whitening
safcesm Thank yez kindly, sor; but
yer have all ye can hould now, Tn
thinker"
Chicago belle-"What are you hunt
ing for?n Chicago boy-"I want piece
- Sssse.OA ~ SOsOA Ivy Uss1A. Su1CA&O
belle Well there is one of my old
shoea. Take that" Chicago boy-"It
isn't 70 foot BALL"
a Chicago woman remarked her hus.
band from whom she had been divorced,
and then got mad because he wouldn't
take her on bridal tour.
II notice that the ballet girls mostly
wear smiles when they come upon the
stage, said old Mr.. squaggs to his wife,
who had insisted on accompanying him
TO the theater. 1T shows that they
think they ought to wear something, $
she snapped, and he said no more.
Little Jack-"What did pa mean by
saying he was captain of this ship?"
Ma-@Oh, that is only his way of saying
that he is head of the house, Little
Jack-af pa is captain, then what orc
j you?" Ma-"Well, I suppose am the
pilot Little Jack-@Oh, yes, and
/ then I must be the compass" Ma
The compass? Why the compass ~
Little Jack-@Why, the captain and ri.
lot are always boxing the compass, YOU
know. -Philadelphia Call.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-05-16
aarasla'e DIE

A Washington letter to the Clsve.
land Leader says: President Gar
field" said Steward Crump, awas very
plain in his diet. He came into the
White House with dyspepsia and he
was doctoring all the time up until he
was shot. He ate no rich food and was
particular about his hours. He had
breakfast at 8: 80 in the morning when
he would eat good beefsteak and some
baked potatoes, with cream poured over
them. This was favorite dish Of
Grfields, and it was one which he ate
when he could eat nothing else. Iii
delicious, and far surpasses baked DO
tatoes and good butter. Then Garfield
was also fond Of . little nice bacon
fried to . crisp, and this, with few side
dishes, made up his breakfast. Dinner
he ate at 8 p. NJ, and this meal was
much the same a. his breakfast. He
always had his breakfast, and neither
he nor Mrs. Garfield was big eater.
About o'clock we had tea, and this was
q very light meal also. There was gem
orally some one present to dine with the
family, but there was no wine in the
White House during the Garfield admin
istration. {"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-05-16

Sheridan was always in the front Of
the fight, yet never received scratch.
Joe Hooker never sought shelter, yet
was never more than scratched. Kill
patrick and Custer went through the
war with only slight wound, although
invariably in the heaviest of the leaden
showers. Skobeleff, who many time
went at it with his own good sword, and
in his white coat and on his white
charger, headed every charge with a
recklessness that men call madness, had
as complete an immunity as il he car
ried the charmed life that his soldiers
ascribed, and was wounded only in the
quiet trenches by chance bullet fred
into the mir mile away. Wellington
was but once hit; the bullet that carried
away his boot-heel scarce gave him q
confusion. Grant was never struck no
more was Napoleon. Bazaine was man
to whom fortune was not stingy in the
matter of wounds.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1884-05-16

A0S13ota0384 Au300x O88o II 808le0d.
London Special cable: A terrible tragedy in
high life is reported from Devonshire Mr..
Hugh Shorthand, . rich barrister from Aus
tralia, had been spending the past few months
in that county enjoying vacation He made
the acquaintance Of q Miss Dimes, the daughter
Of wealthy country gentleman and connected
with some Of the most aristOcratic families, and
proposed marriage to her. Mr. Dimes, however,
objected toShortland' 3 attentions, having heard
some disreputsble stories about Ills habits.
which Mr.. Dimes was convinced were
too much those of . dissipate and profiigate
Shorthand, being cleyein address and skilled
In intrigue, managed to induce Mr.. Dimes to
postpone final decision until he could be con-
WINGED that his impressions were erroneous
and thus maintaincdhi ontree at tho residence
Taking advantage of the opportunities afforded
by his probation, the Australian pressed his
suit with the young lady, and finally induced
her to elope with him, and they were duly
married; Soon after clipping, tho young lady's
dead body was found in pond on her fathers
estate. At abontthe time the body was tliscov-
cred, Shorthand it was reported, left Davonshire.
Il was generally supposed, therefore, that Mrs.
Shorthand had committed suicide in fitof des-
pondency This view was confirmed by let
ter which was received from Shorthand soon
after the finding Of the body An investigation
was begun and it was soon ascertained that
Shorthand had never left England at all since
his marriage, and that he had written his letter
and sent it under cover to friend at Brindisi
Shorthand was promptly arrested, and his trial
promises to be one Of the most sensational in
English criminal records All efforts to find q
reason for the murder have failed, and Short
Land refuses to make any utterances on the SUBJ
iack