Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-12-04
A Losing Speculation.
INVESTING IN TWO BUSHELS OF PILLS.
oNE EDITOR WHO TAKES NOTHING BUT
CASH.

IFeck's Milwaukee sun.
One day during the recent exposition the
managers gave banquet to the editorial
fraternity, and there were many editors from
different parts of the State present, and after
the feed the boys got to talking about
securing advertising and taking pay in trade,
and one of them said he had on hand a large
quantity Of stuff that he had taken on
advertising, which, if he could realize on it,
would make him pretty well fixed, but he
couldn't sell nickel's worth to save him.
Il will trade you pills for your stuff
said an editor with gray hair and beard.
al don't need pills. said the first speaker
But where did you get pills? | thought
YOU never took anything but cash on adyer-
tisng."
81 don't, late years." said the old editor,
but about twenty five years ago got stuck
on about two bushels Of pills. and have had
enough. II YOU don't mind, will tell you
about it. was publishing paper in lum-
ber district and an agent of Philadelphia
pin house came along and wanted to adyer-
tise and pay me in pills at wholesale price
He held out more aluring inducements to me
in regard to making money than Colonel
Sellers ever did to his victims He said the
pills were wholesaled at about four cents
box, but they sold readily at retail at two
shlllings a box, and he took pencil and
paper and showed me that in three Years
time, with any sort of luck in dlsposing Of
my pills, could be rich man.
well, gentlemen, bit like a bass, put
the advertisement IN my paper, and in due
time the pills came. with eight dollars
freight on the box. | need not tell YOU Of
my struggles to raise the eight dollars, be-
cause YOU all know how il i, but finally
got il, by giving money lender an order on
the county clerk for the pay for tax list
which vas to get the next fall. and got
niy pills home. | snail never forget the
look on the face Of my wife when opened
up the two bushels Of boxes of pills. and
they were laid out on the floor IN the par
lor. We had only been married SIX months,
and had never told her had pill nine,
or that | was wealthy. or would be when
realized on my pill, When told her that
the pills were not for her. but far the rest of
the community, She seemed relieved, but
she looked a, me As though she thought If |
was insane. and my insanity ran 10 pills, Il
wa> Hn' a. bad ~ II would Ne il 1t run ID
axes or Shot guu,. She trt comparatively
safe. though | often woke up 10 tn, night
and got up TO let the cat out and found
that she, too, was awake. She has told ms
lare yenrs tbat IN. us.d 10 think M, "a
inr 10 get uo some dark night and pour a
roup,r of ouar-s nf ,bo>, mills down her
ucck vlpn .ra IA. ,,Iren For ~, ,ears
unu tb,t ir4,L rr-, M ulf, k4r, HI III.
o,, NJ, hon v,> around n. Mil.
"W.l Tim. wore an and | tried To rcal.
iy, or III nilIs Fr.t trt.Jth. an, storas
ina tr;ad 10 I'll ptl, Al Wholesale agains,
my better iul.mru,. bu, | needed mon4y
Tba 3r.,,,,i.,. ali r.f,,,aI IA ,,ucb nv nilis
.or ,4romn'rpI tI.u and bera,n. NOV a.
Jruy,i.,. arI J..,lel Ia br.ak than Iii IL
IA, .,f,,, rii. a, rs,,il avid c,,r;n, nm ,h.
.,,k anal INNS taxing trade ouav from tho
Ir,igy.>. rher- ~ an old lady Who li,4d
pe.T vb, v,. ,Iva,s c,m,l,iri,g N
.,ra ..cLn,.s ,r o,b.r Sbe r,s or.,,
yo>si, and ,,lker and ,bouyht If couId
H., I'LL N ,,kp mv pils and ,h.v diJ Az
,ond -. unuld ,aIk ahnu, ,bem I'll ovar
,,r, .,l 90, mn n boom for niIs loo,
my wif ia ,aka nm ip,eres, in the ola ladv
,nJ ~ r.c .minend.I tho n,lls Nv VIII.
.;l .t,.,, l.J All H.. riils /, III. ho,,..
ve had ,.,.r known s Itv's sickness and
,h,, bar husband vo,ld naver be ui,bou,
has r,ll. q. Iony a. Il. lived Nv vuif. did
NJ, IL ,b,y, III, bac,ns. she knew H., ~.
s,,ct -oFr,u. baJ n, hand wnnrd las, m.
~. b.u,rc. of nv ,a,nr,I I,f. Tha oId
l,dy h.c,r,.. ,r,.ra.,a3 MIN. s,orv of ,hs
niIl. ,n1 .,d III. womld ,,ks hox on I'LL
ANA ..r, ,ban, ov.r IN ber hons.
81 an, ,nr. and would TAX. nv oath on !,
i III. ~. IL, ,b,t I rayer tr,Id ~, oll
and ~, III, .a,. sba d,Jn., ". sir,,,I,
ur,ed the n,,kI,dy to-, ontr,al
anI II III took TIL Whale ot tn4n j, nnce
I, VA. ~, our f,ult Rur vou know bow I,
i. IN , c,un,r, town ,hey will tall Tbs
,..,imnry w.rt IN snow THAT the Ala Iady
,noL ~. ,iIs q, l35n M a,d a, mid,iab,
IN. doc.nr. ha,a, II ,a,bar at bsr bouss !,
a,rLs and tho n.;,bhors ,s,t to tho bo,,s.
!, droyas and wb.r any If them came ~,
our housa ,bev Looked SASSY at ~ W.
coull he.r enopyb to kno, ina, ,ha oII
lady wa, having a serious ,ime and 90, wa
,lido't know what wa, tho ,r,ulJ. ,bonyb
could 10, Ut Il out of ms Mind ,hat III
nilIs cor. in som. wav rasnnnsihl. 7 wa,,
I'd 10 % over and of4r any assistaoc. in my
,over 10 a sick ne;pbh5r nm, ,bnuyh, !,
safer 10 ,.nl M wifi. WbiIe he VA pona
yot M SHOTGUN Ana doy. and yot ready
10 90 away hunting. had for some time
nedta,ed taking littl. recreation that way
which | much needed and | n4yer needed
recreation more than | did When M wife
came hack and told me- TN. old lady vas Wild
With excitement and main. and said had
poisoned her. and That she would XIII me- on
,irht, and bay. M. arrested for burglary and
defamation of character and homicide and
arson. and there was talk Of l,nchlng me
A. midniph, uant aw,v frnm bnm. o,t
under The s,4r,. With nv ior and gun. and
for week divided NV time Shooting soujr-
rel, and ,ow,nr th3t if tha, old vomo,
pullea through | would never deal IL piIls