The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-10-18

Weird and Thrilling History of the Cut-Rat
Man-Much Money Easily Made.

weird and Thr1ilIng history OF the Cut-Hate
Man-Much Money Easily Made.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Come hither, my first born male child, heir
expectant of my cast-off apparel and destroyer
of thy mothers hopes Of a clean house and tidy
furniture; come hither and nearken unto the
voice of thy devoted parent whilst he relates the
story of the ~scalper, and do thou pay heed
thereto and learn how, from the need of some
and greed of others, to lay up for thyself a store
of wealth against the day of want. Think not
that the story mas reference to the noble red
man, who, in furious anger at the aggressions of
the rapacious whites, puts many stripes of brill
liant paint upon his countenance, limbs and
body, takes a keen-edged tomahawk in his dex-
ferrous hand, and makes the surrounding hills
echo and re-eeho with his hideous ~war-whoop.
Nor yet must thou think of Reckless Ralph, the
RemorseleSs Reducer of the Redskins Registra-
ton Record, the renowned warrior and hunter
of the West, whose commanding stature,
herculean frame. dazzling eye and flowing hair
mark him as a lion in strength and a demon IN
daring. Draw it very exceedingly mild upon
such fellows as those, and concentrate your con-
templative powers upon a neatly dressed gentle
man of pleasant speech and gracious manners.
who from behind a desk or counter regards with
kindness the anxious traveller, and answers eager
inquiries as to best routes and cheapest rates.
When more than one railroad company build
roads between two places, and the traffic which
is sufficient for one is not for all. then q war of
rates is declared, and the general passenger and
TICKET agent OIL esscn COHlpdDy Is lulOElneu by inc
directors of the same that, in the language of
Hudibras or another:
HE is not the man for the position
Unless he beats all competition,
And he must either master the situation
Or, else, send in his resignation"
The G. P. and I. A. knows that resignation is
the best and only thing under heavy affection,
but considers 1T better to avoid both for himself,
even if in so doing he has to cast them upon his
opponents. Therefore he advertises his inten-
ton 10 sell tickets to competing points for less
than is charged on other routes, even if he has
to give the tickets away and reward each pas
senger who goes over his road with the gift of
three drinks, a square meal and a cottage organ.
In his secret soul he resolves to make good his
hopes of p0Uting up rates to the highest figures
for all points on his line where no competition
exists. And travellers, growing wise in their
day and generation, say to themselves: ut is
to our profit to buy tickets to points beyond
where we wish 10 go and sell them again to 9TH
ers who may desire to journey from our desti-
nation to the limit of these tickets, and as it is a
loss of time and a troublesome task for us to
find these others, we need a middleman to do
this for US" and the scalper replies; Il am here
obedient to your Wishes" and buys the tickets
from the first purchasers and sells them to the
second, and as with the blow of a base ball bat
he propels the plans of the Ct. T. and 7. A. into
a head-gr Of the style most in vogue about the
time of the American revolution.
The general passenger and ticket agent be-
comes indignant, and resolves in his wrath to
exterminate all scalpers by bringing them before
the courts and proving them guilty of such fear
full misconduct that the courts must sentence
them to close and perpetual confinement in the
penitentiary, and so they will be prevented from
interfering with other peoples business. And
the courts regard the conduct Of the s~calpers as
very wicked, indeed, and pass sentence of con
fnement upon them for the period of three years,
four months and eleven days, and then the
courts reflect and r~ecolleet that the scalpers be
gan business in obedience to the wishes of the
people, and the people are voters, aud the courts
are elected by voters, and it is not we'll for those
seeking reelection to do anything that will dis
place voters; and so the ounsel of the s~calpers
make a motion for a stay of proceedings, a
q~uashing of judgments, an appeal, a mandamus,
a habeas corpus, a none pros, and a host of
other things obscure in their meaning but pleas
ant in their effect, and each and every scalper
fees his lawyer to discuss these matters before
the court, and accepts the courts permission to
go about his busine pending the Consideration