Grand Rapids morning telegram., 1884-12-04
WILD JOHNS HoNEYcuTT.
How He slsned the Constable by ouotin1
Fictitious Law.


fselma (Ala-) Times.l
A few years ago there came to Randolph
two Canadian Indians, a father and
daughter, who fought the battle for bread
by making beaded baskets, pin-cushions,
etc. They remained about town day or
two undisturbed, but finally the magis-
trate, who considered his position very
exalted one, concluded that the strangers
should pay license and in small way
fatten the exchequer OF Randolph. He ae-
cordingly approached the bead venders
and demanded license Of the old Indian,
whose only response was 70 draw from his
coat pocket passport from his own Gov
ernment. AT this the old magistrate grew
wrathy, called his Constable, Familiarity
known from his gigantic frame and super
abundance of flesh as 'Big Joe" Latham,
and ordered him TO arrest both Indians,
father and daughter.
The order was obeyed promptly, but just
at this point of the proceedings Johns
Honeycutt appeared on the scene, and the
following conversation ensued:
LOCKER here, Big Joe Latham, what's
yer goin' To do with these Injuns?"
81 have arrested 'em, sir, because they
haint paid no license for manufacturing
beads, and unless they rake up the spons
they will have ter go to jail, and they
will.n
"Big Joe'' held the Indians passport,
which Johns demanded, aud after glanc-
ing at it, he replied:
"'Big Joe,' you're durn big fool ;Ithese
is citizens of the English republic, and the
fust thing you know, durn your fool skin,
Queen Victory will send her Sheriff out
here, take you over the water and hang
you until you're deader nor q herring.
Now you just hands off, I'll take charge
of the critters, and if you mean to keep a
whole hide, don't yer touch 'em."
The big officer knew his man and yielded
with little exhibition of reluctance. Johns
led the 'Injuns'' to tie little hotel kept by
his mother, left them safe within, and then
took double barreled gun and seated him
self in front of the door. Johns loved corn
juice, and when we'll soaked held the rib
bons over the town, so to speak but finally
"Big Joe" mustered courage and ap-
preached him.
"Johns Honeycutt," said the big con-
stable, "I'se officer NV the law, and / de-
mand them prisoners, an ef yer don't give
them up I'n git er bill Nv Indictment
ergainst yer, and then we'n see whose'er
bossin' this town."
"Big Joe Latham you are the durndest
biggest fool in twenty States. Just wait er
little and let me read you the law" Johns
looked around and found an old weather
worn code of Alabama, opened the lids and
quoted aloud from his own fertile imagi-
nation:
''Be it ordained that henceforth, now and
forever, every citizen of the English re-
public who may or shall come to this coun-
| try must be allowed to make bead baskets,
ETC., and any officer or anybody else who
posters them shall be convicted and sent to
the Penitentiary forevermore."
AS "Big Joe" couldn't read and was not
thoroughly posted in statutory law, he did
not discover the fraud, but quietly re-
marked: at looks a leetle strange" and
surrendered the fort.
Johns stood guard at the door of the hotel
until a freight train rolled up and stopped
at the depot Then he hurried the 'Injuns"
to the train, opened an empty box car,
forced his prisoners to get in, and then
closed the doors. The train rumbled away
and the bead -venders have never been seen
from that day to this. But everybody
around Randolph and for miles along the
railroad remembers how Johns Honeycutt
played bluff game on "Big Joe'' Latham
by quoting fictitious law and telling him
what Queen "Victory" would do. Johns
rescued the Indians, his bread came back
from the waters, his friends have rescued
redskin in the "Great West"