Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-29

1T is not remarkable that there should be SO
many elOpements just now. THIS Is the pear
season. -PhitddeiDdt0 CAL.
THE enthuslasm and enterprise with which
Gen Gordon telegraphs for f3OO,CCO would
seem to show that the Soudan is an OCTOBER
State.-St. Louis Post Dispatch.
MANY of the Western cowboys are believed
to have fed from the East for fear OF being
discovered in criminal transactions. nus
conscience doth make cowherds OF us an
PhiLddekphiG Record.
4 VERMONT minister recently preached on
the subject: "IIOw to marry and Keep mar
RED" A good many Nermonters seem 10
think that the best way to keep married Is TO
keep marrying Burlington Free Press.
Jaw, pull down your vest" said slangy
Young man to a poor beggar who asked ms
aid. Gimme one and l wiz" rcpned the
beggar sadly. p. S.-This fable teaches us
that we should help those who are willing to
help themselves.-MerchGnt 7rdUeIer.
A COMMON BRICK, if very dry. will absorb
quart of water. The perfect brick OF the hu-
man variety, however, although he Is always
very dry, wouldn't absorb quart OF water
in years drinking. Herein is seen the SUI
perlority of mind over matter.-Fres Press
A PRACTICAL View: Eualia-"I can give
YOU only my hand, without my heart
Practical SuitOr-''Weu, | would rather nave
a hand without a heart than heart without
hand" Eulalia-"Indeedw Practical
Suitor-"Yes; heart without hand can't
sew on buttons, you knOw."-E1.
''IT would never do for you to cast your
bread upon the waters, my dear" SAID me
fond young husband. why not, Allreu!'
asked his piOus wife. because II IS so aeaVy
it would sink" he replied. wretch" she
exclaimed, ''can you make light OF so sacred
a subject' "No. my DEAR" he replied, nor
can my stomach
FIRST DUDE-"Wuthell Lowell should be
wecalled from England. He is wadical and
iuHn-thANhV- how
it'll that?'i First dude-''The English wadl-
Gals arc twying to wOmov the Howth OF
Lords and our Minister don't pwoteth OIL
cIally. 1t it'll hOutrage. Why don't ne
h?"-Te1dS Strings.
"YEs," said young Hardup, with an air Of
disgust, "there are some mighty mean men in
the world, but old MOneybags Is little bit
lower down than anybody know Of" what
has None bags done that is so very meanF
''You know l worship his daughter?" Il have
heard YOU say So" "Yes, | love the very
ground she walks on. Well, sir, asked the
old fellow for her hand the other day ana ne
was mean enough to ask me if had suill-
cient income to support her. What do you
think of that for man worth over S2,eOOOOO?'
THE WIND'ARD ANCHOR
MY DEAR FIsHER.-It will be in my power
to cast an anchor to windward in your behalf
if you desire it.-JdmeS g. Blaine.
Pm sailor on the deep and troubled seas,
I've a knack for whistling up stirring breeze;
| can shin the slipp'ry mast
Or in trOublOus times can cast
To the wind'ard side an anchor if please.
| can sail Fishers smack and tend the bait,
Or in useful channels steer the ship OF state;
! can make a haWser fast
And if necessary cast
To the wlnd'ard side an anchor big in weight.
l can hoist the pirates black and threatening
flag,
l can strut upon the deck and fume and brag,
And when angry run the seas
| can go upon my knees
And to wlnd'ard cast an anchor. But twill
drag. - Chicd0O Netos.
MISS Jemima de Swizze van Dank
Was the daughter of a PreXy de Bank.
The bank it was busted,
And papa he busted;
She's now a Young lady of rank. Life.