Daily Republican., 1884-06-13
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT

. I...jn ,.,&u ~ lodiau l., tho
amons i.'',o p socs ;nrncant sociai
enJoym9ens y, .on ,,,acsS hi. 'o ar,n
pay ne oate,oss,s "r.,,u do, "a,'
a .hu ~ que s. ~Siss . a, s,pla;|sa "Pe
49, a.. 49, ,na,,lt mo =, Tho ren.
tleman INSTANTLY aDologized for his
seeming rndeness and assured the hall
offended fair one that he did not mean
to insult her. ssNo 2" she replied, arch
ly "a we'll, If YOU didn't, you may do il
again"
M,d,uaz nm old soc;otv be,le
- ~. . s Oh his ot ,hn
death Of her mother, who has Just
nassed a way at the age of eigbty-Dine,
One of her friends tries to calm her sor.
row a little by saving to her "Yes, it
il n yerv cruel loss TO YOU" "Ab. a
hundred times more cruel than you can
imagine, Just think ! while she lived
could still say, MY mother, and
that made me feel and look twenty
years younger
Anxious Young man "Miss B., may
I have the sixth dance with YOU 9"
Mas B. Gas we have no pencil, I
cannot mark IT," Anxious Young man
!" Oh we'll leave SPACE there, and
you'll understand" Miss b.: Very
well, then /; when see vacant spot l
shall know tits, you" Exit anxious
young man.
"Nor darling. will YOU grant me
one favor befoIei 20 ?'T" Yes. George,
| will" she said, dropping her eyeashes
and oet+inv her Inns IN shane HW hat
is the favor l can grant you %" Only a
little scDg at the piano, love. | am
afraid there is dog outside waiting for
me, ard l want to scare him away"
q Yes" said Mrs. Snaggs ct left
NV husband home to take care the baby
while vent TO the theatre. He didn't
say any thing much when l came home
except that / never looked so handsome
to him but l found the next day that
our parrot had learned some horrible
horrible words"
"Wben grow mn I'll be a man,
WON'T Tq" asked a little bow of his
mother. eyes, my son; but IL you
want to be a man you must be industrl.
GUS at school, and learn how to behave
Yourself" Why, mamma, do the
lazy boys turn out to DO women when
they grow up?"
g What would our wives saw If they
k new where we are?" said the captain
ola schooner, when they were beating
about in o thick fog, fearful Of going
ashore. Humph! I shouldn't mind
that" replied the mate, IF we only
knew where we were ourselves"
Mamma" said an inauisitive little
lady Of some six summers, "what
makes the sea 40 hot in a storm?'
" Hot. nv dear ?" mamma answered:
=" what makes Won think 1t is hot?"
F." WHY. mamma, have lust been read.
ing about the boiling waves"
Begins never loses his gallantry.
When he came home hoW-came- Won so,
the other night, and Mrs. B. told him
she was ashamed of him, Begins re-
piled +" Better my wife (hic) should
be ashamed Of me (hic) than should
be ashamed Of my wife,"
An Irishman met friend in the
.treet. and said to him ct saw our
friend John yesterday evening. He is
40 much altered that I scarcely knew
him. am thin, and you are thin but
he is thinner than both of us put to.
gether."
A correspondent has sent piece OF
poetry with these words 1.-THE fol.
lowing lines were written more than
fifty years ago, by one one who has for
many years 81 pit in his grave merely
for his own amusement %
"Mamma," said a girl who had Just
commenced her lessons in geography
Whereabouts shall ! find the state OF
matrim"ny ?" Oh, answered the
MOTH r, you will find that to be one
of the United States"
GAS people usually sprinkle the
floors before they sweep them" says al
old bachelor, $50 some ladies sprinkle
their husbands with tears in order that
they may sweep the cash out of theil
pockets.
A wit went to party at which q
Mr.. Pepper had Assem- led all his
friends, and said to his host on entering
the room "My dear Mr.. Pepper, how
glad you must be to see all your friend,
mustered"
ct am speaking. "said a long.windeG
orator, for The benefit of posterity.'
Yes" said one of his hearers, "an6
if you keep on much longer, your audi
ence will be here"
A mathematician, being asked by 8
stout fellow, "Iftwo pigs weigh twenty
pounds. how much will % large hos
weigh?" replied Jump into The
scales and l will tell you Immediately.
A courteous old clergyman being
told tough story, said: :" Since you
were an eyewitness, l suppose l mus
believe you; but l don't think ia have
believed it if had seen 1t myself
A bachelor 80 greatly admired the
way in which the housekeeper prepar'
ed coffee that he proposed and was &C.
cepted, only to find that the coffee was
made by the servant girl.
She said, ooh, yes, anu very fond OF
little boys" And as a snow ball stuck
in the back of her neck, she added, Il
feel as though could eat couple this