Daily Republican., 1884-11-01
SunbeannS.


A guilt frame-The prison window.
Narrow escape The tip OF q gas jet
Quick ut figures-The dancing master.
The tip OF fashion-A quarter Of dol
ar.
The watch dealers belong to the sell
lick race.
A lawver who can write poetry is not
Necessarily a legal-tender writer. t.
A man with cold in his head is like o
waterfall. He is catarrh-racked
Excuse of the girl who eIoped with her
Iooachman-"I was driven to IT,"
my bow ia all unstrung," Marbles /.
fair poetess. Wonder il her beau had
Ibeen out on racket?
So many foolish maidens are running
laway with their fathers coachmen that
|the scheme is getting hackneyed.
The baseball catcher will shortly go
Unto retirement to grow q new crop OF
Fingers for next years campaign.
First Wretch Flows your wife, old
Imam P" Second Wretch "Splendid-
bad cold-can't speak above whisper"
NERVOUS Girl " wants to know how
TO cure a tickling sensation about the
face" Get him to shave off his nous
Itache.
When young man is lingering tho
cash left him by his grandfather can II
be said he is revellinge in his ancestral
hauls
There nowi" cried little girl. while
Ir,lmaging drawer in q bureau, "gran-
ma has gone to heaven without his spec
Itacles
A subscriber advertises for "A plain
Igirl to cook" He probably was afraid
The would be hanged il he cooked pretty
Igirl.
So many woman are doing work for
|merly done by men that the male sex is
being be driyen into matrimony as a means
Mrs. Malaprop SAYS that if bakers
Iwife were to get "judicious separation"
from him, she could compel him to allow
Iher "alum money!"
| A little boy complained to his mother
THAT the teacher can't remember his
name. "When she speaks to me-" he
lsays, "she always calls me Silence"
Honesty is not no much respected as
lbeauty. The toad is honest, but he has
mot nearly 80 many admirers as the
bright bird that would steal cherry.
When coachman marries his mistress
their positions become reversed. Before
marriage he drives her after marriage
lshe drives him-if she is like most WON
len.
Montreal is to build an ice palace next
Winter. II is said to be intended for the
residence of Philadelphia iceman who
intends to marry New York plumber
daughter.
Lady Ito a small boy with dog)
Johnny. does that dog bark at night p
Johnny (who is connoisseur in dogs)
No, ma'am. He barks at cats and othel
Idogs."
A member of the Legislature who at
tended a service at the Episcopal Church
was asked how he liked It, and replied
lrPurty well; / riz and fell with then
levery time"
"Oh, mamma, mamma |" said q littl,
Igirl the other day, as she saw CHECKER
without any feathers in its tail, "see da
lole hen She has lost the ribbons GU
lof her polonaise.
Young Hopesby says the worst trai
Possessed by his girls father is his prone
mess to misconstrue plain, practical u,,es
Itiona When he asked for his daughter.
hand, the father gave him his foot
1 I
! Igrounds): "Why, what did they ali ie
Do they mean me?" Polite gatekeeper
"Oh, no, mum. You amt no chicken.
Angry parent my daughter is onl,
Twenty, and she has married man tire,
times as old as herself" Con ,oi@ g
friend: well, hang it all, she cuuldn'
marry one three times as young as her,
Iself."
American tramps viii be pleased II
learn that the English custom of e., Ms
five meals in day is being intro,i,t, -,
Into this country. The news may no, ht
90 great to tho farmers poultry, hoS.
lever.
i 4 North Carolina girl wears Lai:
lnlade of the beautiful skin of IL snak,, :. -
killed with her own hands. A far TX.
change is no robbery. She probah,y
gave the snake belt over the head vu.i,
she killed him.
4 have such cold in my head" re-.
marked young Podsnap to his frie III.
We'll, there is consolation in IA. i
Is,t-a,' was the reply. "What ceiis u
tom r. why, there is plenty Of 10 i,
il tAare for it. p
i Did he apply an opprobrion ep;tl, !
inm?' inquired q man yester'iay r't-
!. ..,ng another who was wearing his
IA niider his ear through little m.s-
l4,.rrsfanding. "Oh, no, was the TO-
lp,y He only called him liar"
| Mamma" said little Innocence, WHO
len ,he first time had been taken to see 4
sdiet performed. why do they wear
M,'a short dresses2 Are they too poor
q buy more, or won't their mothers let
hi wear long dresses YETI"
l.. ~