The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-11-27

address. When he sat down the lead
er OF tie meeting unwittingly an.
nounced the hymn beginning, Halle.
lujah! It's Done Christidn Stand.
ard.
A Northern Texas editor complains
that the number of marriages is ridi.
culously small when compared with
the time squandered in buggy-riding.
The Texas editor forgets that it is the
money squandered in buggy-riding that
diminishes the number of marriages
Philadelphia Cali.
The Digger Indians have incurred
our everlasting animosity by predicting
an ''open Winter" When the Digger
Indians promise an open Winter, the
weather is SO cold that iron hitchine
posts split open and there are six weeks
of down-to-zero weather in January
NOrristOlCn Herald.
The latest style in marriage cere
monies is for the bride to come up the
aisle of the church alone, while the
bridegroom sneaks in at the chance
door and meets her at the altar. w,
protest against the fashion; it creates a
masculine predisposition to be hen.
pecked. Darlington Free Press.
Come, soldier, tell US what you
know about this matter" said ex
Judge Black to a witness. II am ne
soldier; l am an officer" haughtily re-
sponded the witness. Whereupon the
old lawyer calmly said: "Well, then
officer who is no soldier, tell us what
you know" And the warrior wilted
Young man." said the professor
you should not allow yourself to b.
guided altogether by your own opin
ions. You should defer to the opinions
of Others" Student-"But the poet
says, 'Tis madness to defer" Pro
fessor-''True; but the poet wa.
Young when he said that. "-Bostoa
Transcript.
"Why don't you call me a donkey
aud be done with it? You have hintec
at it long enough he snarled out
1T wouldn't be quite true" she re
piled. 81 suppose not. l suppose
haven't ears enough for that ANIMAL
he retorted, sarcastically. .'Oh, yes
you have" she returned, sweetly
You don't need any more ears
What do l need, then?" '.Mort
legs. "-Daily Graphic.
MARY" said Philadelphia mother
the other morning, MARY, 1 heard yor
coax young Mr. Blank to remain, as ht
arose to 60 when the clock struck ter
last evening. Mary, it was wrong il
you; why did you do SOP" "Why
now" artlessly replied the maiden
"Mr. Blank is very good company, ant
you know you have always taught me
to keep good company, and / KEEP
him."
Some advertiser says he has found 6
sorrel mule with no hind shoes on
Pshaw, man! You can't identify s
sorrel mule in that way. Dwell regu
lated sorrel mule has shoes on behind
AS soon as it gets home from the black
smith shop it fastens one above the
front door of the barn and one above
the stable entrance, with one motion
and all just for luck.-PHts6urg Chro,a.
cle-7etegraph.
Lord Panmure's stolid want of com
prehension is amusingly illustrated in
Lord Malmesbury' memoirs. The
Queen, he says, had been presenting
medals to the Crimean heroes, many q
whom were MANNED or suffering from
wounds. "Was the Queen touched?'
Mrs. Morton asked. ':Bless my SOU
no"' replied Lord Panmure, "she had
a brass railing before her, and no one
could touch her. Il mean, was sht
moved?" Moved! She had no occa
| sion to move"
An anecdote. Years ago Vermont
farmer lost many sheep through the
depredations of wolves. He journeyet
TO Boston and returned with vol
dog which cost him many dollars. He
started out the next day and soon biz
dog was following up scent rapidly
and disappeared in the woods, The
farmer Or hors back followed and me
a chopper. well, stranger, did vel
see e'er dog and wolf go byP'
f'Yaas." "Wall, how was itp" 1.-THE
dorg was q ieetle ahead, "-Sonaerrille
Journal.
De healthiest lookin' men is some
times de soones' ter die. De bigges
tree is de one Whut am aptes' ter bt
| holler. 1t amt no use fur some meI
| ter try ter be great 1t doan' make nc
| difference how much a mouse eats BIT
nebber will be er rat, Oars dis differ
ence twixt men an wimin. Err omar
tries ter make her heart show on hel
| face; de man tries ter make his min.
| show on his countenance. De trouble
is dat de oman amt allus got heart
an de man amt allus got mine.
.-ArkansaW Traceter.
A Louisville, Mo-, man went into 8
grocery the other day and stole two
dozen eggs, putting them in his pocket
He was allowed to 60 on his way fol
a short distance, when one of the clerk:
| walked up to him and threw his arm:
| around the thief, calling him pet names
such as ''old boy" ''birdie darling, !
etc., etc. The thief didn't know wha
10 make of this outburst of affection OF
| tbs part of the clerk, but wasn't lone
! in finding out: After he had been hug
I ged for few minutes he discovered
| that the hen fruit had smashed in hi
! pocket. and, what was more. there wer,
just enough last years ones among
them to make the air in that immedi
ate vicinity smell bad and appear a
| though thick fog had settled arount
A