The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-11-08
Paragraph Fiend.
Busted up-The sky rocket.
Celestial tail bearers--COmeta.

Busted up-The sky rocket
Celestial tail bearers--Comets.
The defeat Of $. John was not altogether
unexpected.
Belya Lockwood failed to make great
hustle in this campaign
WHY have fowl, no hereafter: Because
they have their next world .necks twirledl
in this
Can any connection be shown between
the day rate of gold and the nitrate OF
silver;
Women love to be loved. The only no.
ticeable thing about this fact is that men
encourage them in it.
He who Mrs. to take Il kiss,
Has Mr. thing he should not miss,
Belva Lockwood's friends say She lost
many vote, because She failed TO define
her position on the Mother Hubbard
question,
Several young girls have been appointed
station agents in Minnesota, and engineers
are keeping a sharp lookout for misplaced
switches
What puzzles Beccher most, now that
the excitement of the contest Is over IS 10
decide whether JOY or Blaine is the great
er continental liar
A church bell at Saratoga recently rang
lO4 times-one stroke for each year OF its
existence This is the only instance on re
cord where the are of "A Saratoga belle has
been tolled.
Shall sing Far Away She asked,
rs her fingers sought the keys. Yes, |
think YOU had better" he replied, unless
Won want the neighbors 10 make com
plaint." He doesn't visit there now
Boston lingo
The s.. John vote is surprisingly large.
Heretofore nobody has adequately realized
what an active competition the regular sa.
loon has 10 run with the private bottle
TjDtes
In order TO anticipate the many ineyita.
bic inquiries, the Times states that bets on
the election of Belva Lockwood ore lost.
The Chicago Journal solemnly explains
that the reason why Belya Lockwood was
not elected was that her party had no cleo
toral ticket in the field, Then that's why
When Clara was asked what she would
do # nice Young gentleman would ask
her hand in marriage, She naiyely replied
II don't think I'd no Y0rberS Statesman
A COW which was killed in Dayton Ore
gon, recently, had $50 gold piece and
nearly pint of fine diamonds in her stom
ach No trace of the remainder of the
editor could be found.
As the turmoil and excitement OF politics
have passed, the man at Augusta may now
in the quietude of his home
his splendid gifts as campaign liar
Times.
The distress Occasioncd by the closing of
the saloons on election day was an untortu-
nate premonition of what might he expect
ell under an administration of -. John, and
the result is that the prohibition candidate
was defeated by large majority ib
The story is told of Abraham Lincoln
that he once defended a noted horsa-thief
before David Davis as Judge, A verdict
OF guilty was found, and the Judge, full of
Indignation against the prisoner as the
crime was an auocious one, proceeded to
pronounce sentence, closing his philippe
with the words. II sentence you TO seven
years in the Illinois legislatures Abraham
Lincoln arose with quiet CLEAN of humor
ON his face and said May it please your
Honor, rs the friend of the court, allow me
10 suggest that the constitution does not
permit cruel and unusual punishment
Your Honor has sent this man TO the legis
lature when he ought 10 go To the peniten-
tiay' The Judge, slightly confused, re
marked that "the difference was so slight
that he easily made the mistake, hut would
correct IT," and the man was sentenced 70
the pententiary.