The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1884-12-11
TO THE RAILROADS.


Burdetts Suggests u Reform to the Raft.
road Companies.
wish to suggest q reform to the mighty
railway corporations who rule the land with a
rail OF iron and have, OF recent years, become
coldly reserved and Jelly exclusive on the vi tai
question Of free passes.
Not long erst VIII n the bloom was on the
golden rod and s, ptember notes were beginning
to fall due, journeycd toward the land Of the
south, and the prince likewise was with me.
Nov the days OF the years OF the princes pill
grimagc have been few and jolly, and have not
yet attained unto the days OF the years OF his
fathers pilgrimage; but they will, II he lives
and keeps on gro Wing He wa, born few
months longer than seven years ago, which was
such famous year for colts. But bis COM
pexion is fair and his stature limited and his
figure slight, insomuch that ne appearcth to be
OF five years or under. Now when = got mo
upon the train bought no Dalf-ticket.
As we journeyed to the southland the con-
ductor approached woman sitting In seat In
front OF me. She had two little girls IN font
OF her. Their ages were apparently or 10
years. The younger was reading book. They
we're large girls. Not tall for their ages, but
pretty massive for the free ride age. IL was ev-
ident that they were half-fare candidates, on
fair count. In answer to the conductors ques-
ton, the mother, presenting her own ticket.sad
that her girls were each under years young.
The man with the punch said they were very
large for their age, and the woman said that
size had nothing to do with It; II they were ia II
as giants and were under years they were en-
titled to ride free, and she hoped she knew the
ages Of her own children. And the peculiar red
signal emphasis she placed on her double hopes
made the conductor shiver. He waved his
punch with an apologize gesture and to his
great pleasure, seeking some relief from his
embarrassment, he saw me. All! now he
could quarrel with man. He could fire me Oh
If refused to pay half fare for my boy.
chow old is that child Z" he demanded, In q
nav or walk accent.
"Dear me-" said, "what question to ask q
father. How old IL your youngest child! 7"
knew he couldn't tell without thinking 1t
over for five minutes, and SO gained time. He
had the look of an old married man with big
family, SO when saw his face begin to clear
up, and knew that he was coming at me again
| fired at him with:
"How many children have you"
That threw him once more, and saw him
furtively count up to seven On his fingers, but l
was little slow getting into the battery for the
| next shot, and before l could ask him theii
names he charged right into my lines.
.'Never mind about my children" he said
81 want to know how old that boy is"
said: conductor, sit down. l can't tel
YOU and you know why. II tel! you he l;
| only three there will be dreadful lie on my
conscience, and won't get my hait shirt off o
a week. II tell you the truth that he is sew e1
| and one third that woman with the two big 3
vear-old girls will consider it direct lnsu lt
You have accepted her statement; now, you
couldn't have the br.ad and massive brow t
charge my boy half fare, though ewore he wa
forty. One liar on o train is enough. Do n
press your question and get me into tro ubi
must either scar my conscience with fails
statement or get into row with the mamma
yul r egkreen years of girls"
lie saw tie embarrassing position into whic
he was forcing both of us, and with gentleman
~ consideration left me-
Now, you see the trouble is all here. Il
adopting a rule for dead head and half.far
children the railroad companies have acie
foolishly and adopted most absurd standard
That OF age. What does young unmarried
conductor know about the ages OF children
What conducor, old or young, can dispute th
statement! What has age to do with 1t any
| now Is tLaL SLdIltldIu duUptCu Will ohy Was
save human beings Does it cost any more 4
transport ten-year-old horse than tive-yea
old colt?
The standard should be either size or weight
then the conductors task would be an ea-,
one Make the rule that all children over thre'
feet IN height or weighing more than ~ pounds
should pay half fare. In every Car Fair
banks scale. in every punch u tape measure
show tall il your little girl, madam" Jus
two feet eleven and three Quarters lncn-
es, sir." 'Stand up, little dear" Out comes
the tape measure and little dear, stopping q
her mother bids her in vigorous, matronlJ
pantOmine. stands up four feet tour inches o
iape line. "What does the little boy weigh 2
"Thirty mine pounds, ten and fve-eighth
ounces" "HOp on these scales, my son. An
that's Just it; seventy three pounds nine ounces
Seven dollars and half, madam"
trust tle railroads can see the wisdom o.
this suggestion. l don't suppose will save
a cent by it. In fact, can dodge the
half fare more easily now under thu present
absurd rule, which really is nothing but pre-.
MUM offered on lying. The man who tells tho
truth is compelled by the company to pay hal
fare for his children, while the man who lie:
about it has his children carried free. All
interested in neither the ralro I'd nor the pass
engers, but this is an age of reform and am con
stantIy casting my Rr~klyn Eagle eye aoou
Tor something to reform.
The tucsln souIris IRON the tower. 1t is my
hour to put peas in my shoes and walk around
the block until tea time, for telling book can
vasser yesterday that had just received copy
OF the hook, Forest Footprints of the Algon-
quins" from the author, who was an old col
| iege chum and an army comrade OF mine. The
agent looked me in the eye, while, with many
courteous regrets made this statement, aud
then tur;iing to the steel portrait OF the author
on the title page, asked me if could recognize
my old chum and army companion.
| II was the face Of mothtIly looking old
woman of about 65, and a foot note stated that
she died among the Indians in tie winter OF
| 1929.
| Dearly beloved, my sins never count any
| thing against me. always get caught.