Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1884-08-08
[For the HERALD
A Leap-Year Picnic.

McsSrS. EditOrS:-
You are more or less aware how
"we met under great difficulties one
afternoon last winter, how by violence the
male element was excluded from such
meeting by the female element therein,
and how the latter element proceeded to
conspire against us by giving us grand
Leap-year party Of such richness and mag
nitude as should either kill us on the spot
or bankrupt us forever in the attempt to
settle our doctors bills. You can imagine
how visions of that feast floated through
our midnight dreams and haunted our
waking thoughts. And when it was put
off from time to time and finally aban-
doned, you can also imagine how often we
repeated that mournful couplet.
"Of all sad words Of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these, tmight hare BEEN"
About month ago, strange reports be-
gan going the rounds again. This time it
was a Leap-year picnic, the girls to fur
nish the vehicles; the boys, the provisions.
One day, we heard they would spirit us
away in the train; another, they would
pack us in the band wagon with tin horns;
a third they would haul us out as best
they could; and fifth they had given the
thing up altogether. Reports vague, in
definite and contradictory as the battle
reports of rival commanders harassed and
tantalized us. Worn out with the "hope
deferred that maketh the heart SICK" we
had Just concluded that womans' plans are
as false as cynics claim their VOWS to be,
when dainty little notes babe us be ready
when they should call for us at $50 A. NJ.
sharp, Aug. LIST. We were ready. We al
ways expect to be. But we learned a
lesson. $50 A. NJ. sharp, feminine time,
means one hour and half thereafter. In
all our dealing with ladies we should re-
member this and post our watches accord
ingly.
But they did not forget us and they did
not forsake us. They took us in their
hired vehicles and waited us out to Kern's
Springs, as softly and as sweetly as the
roads would permit and as pleasantly as
only ladies can.
Knowing the obstacles they had to sur
mount to accomplish the feat narrated, we
built them a large table on a cool veran-
dab, with pleasant seat, and loaded it
with earables, which in kind, variety, and
quality exceeded any similar display. In
return for what they had intended to do
for us we hoped to paradise them,-meta-
phorically speaking, you know. Said one
of the ladies as the last meal was about
over, "Boys, whenever you want to go to
another picnic, just let us know" Was
this paralysis They had intended to
take US to Fishers Hill, but we were sat
isfied. We were taken. We would have
gone to the desert of Sahara, or into the
innermOst recesses Of the Himalaya noun
tains, if only they had taken us. We
would like to be taken again. Like
Oliver Twist we stand with outstretched
hands and say "more."
Chef among the rumors which had
tickled our fances was the one that the
girls would then and there propose to us,
and many times we went through the
process of falling into their arms as we
uttered the sweet "yes'-in imagination,
you know. Dinner disposed of, many
and various amusements were INDUCED in,
but no girl asked any of us to stroll, no
girl proposed to any of us. As the after
noon wore on and assurance became
double sure" that the ladies were as BASH
full in such matters as we men are known
to be and no proposals were forthcoming,
we found the anticipated pleasure of our
imaginatOns to be as hollow as "the stuff
that dreams are made Of" But we did
not allow such disappointments to mar
our pleasure When Ariovistus came not
to see Casear, Casear called upon him, and
we searched them out and attended to
their wants in the most cOnsiderate and
respectful manner possible.
The most notable thing was the sing
ing. There was quite a variety of notes
in it, some tuneful, others soulful. All
sang with the spirit, some with the under
standing and some, their
mouths only, On the whole we sang to
our own satisfaction and lung exercise all
the songs and fragments of songs we could
muster into service, while our audience of
half dozen listened entranced.
Hardly had we cleared the table when
two couples paid rs flying visit, tested
the quality of our provisions, smiled upon
Us and sped away again despite our en-
treaties to the contrary.
When the time for departure came,
looked aghast and asked every
body else, where has the day goneT Like
4 thief he had slipped by and no one could
ell where or how he went.
The supper in Mr.. Gochenour's pretty
rard was the polishing off of the appetite
If the morning. We have long since
earned to consider a great mind in a
small body no anomaly, but the CASTRO
ionic feats of one gentleman in particular
an only be adequately explained by sup
posing his legs to be hollow down to his
oes. If any one gets offended at this and
links we refer to him, we would inform
lin that our running apparatus is of the
attest patent and has never been beaten,
Tot even at the polls-bean poles, you
Know.
The fire in the direction of town caused
,ur merriment to cease, and when we found
t was Mr. Newman's we drove down in
act, and witnessed a beautiful but I'M
scene, as his magnificent barn
With its contents was one blazing mass.
Words can not express our gratitude to
he ladies for the handsome manner in
which they treated us, and knowing the
,reat difficulty they had in getting it up
md the many discouragements, which
came not singly but in battallions, that
hey had to surmount, we boys take off
)ur hats to them, we pray that thimble
nay contain all their woes, and give them
hree rousing cheers that shall be heard
wherever this paper isread.
ONE OF THE BOYS.
Va, Aug. ID.