davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
PHILOSOPHY.

In summer time, hinder blazing sun,
When men mop their brows, and, one by or
Take drink,
III asked the reason they calmly say
They're always dry on 80 warm q day.
So they think.
In winter chill when at bars they stand,
Talking gayly with companions bland,
And smile,
The inquisitive man Is promptly told
They're trying now to shut out the cold,
The while.
People who give the matter a thought
Must see that when the weather Is hot,
In summer,
Aman must drink to keep himself cool.
Nothing in this proclaims him fool,
Or hummer.
So in winter when the winds blow cold,
III he fill himself with champagne old,
And whisky,
There seems to be no cause for alarm
His object il to keep himself WARM,
And frisky.
Chicago Herald.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
Necessarily True.

"No one would suppose for moment
that you had made an assignment" said
gentleman to friend whose estab-
ishment had just been closed by the
sheriff.
~And why, pray?"
"You walk so erect, with no percepti-
BILE care-worn traces in your face"
"A man in straitened circumstances
should of necessity hold up his head
and walk erect" repl ed the bankrupt.
Carl PretzePs Weekly.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
1aiE HEROINE Oh THE SUNDAY
SCHOOL.
THIS STYLE CHEAP.

THIS STYLE CHEAP.
A pretty littlo blue-eyed maid.
All. maid
Threw back her shoulders, and she gaid
Some umpteen Bible verses
About people who 90 I'm hearses,
When dead!
And when the girl had got all through,
All through,
They gave her ticket painted blue,
All bluel
- Then she went home and went To bed,
With throbbing heart and aching head.
All, bOol
Tire Mongol heather spit and spirit.
All, srirti
Upon the SUPERINTENDENT shirt,
Clean shirt
That he might cut n heavy swell.
When he hould stand straight up and tell
How that girl d ed in doing well,
oh, cert!
And the Mongol heather lives on yet,
Lives vet,
And figures the Superintendent debt,
Wash debit
Aud so the Superintendent lives,
And still IN AMongol heather lives,
While the world is running short OF wives.
You bet!
Brooklyn Eagle.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
A FAN SONG.

Fan me to rest for sleep-time sweet Is coming,
And OIL so tired /. and OH so restless.
The grateful opiate OF thy sereneful smiling
Only can charm me into thoughts distressiesA
Fan me, love. fan me, love. daylight Is dead,
love
Dead its dark sorrow, dead its wild jest;
Into the land OF old bygones tbs fed, love;
Fan me TO rest!
Love, do you hear the last lone bird born solo
Drifting this way ward from the grim great
beeches?
Render 1t DER to me, and sing IL low-low-
Low as q lisp OF wind DER dark wood reaches
Fan me- love, fan me. love. gone is the days
love-
Gone it's weird hatreds-yet I'm distressed
Tomorrow I've got fifteen dollars TO raise.
love:
F-f-fan me to resti
-Eduard WICK. in Puck.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27

had gone his only son. The vessel was
never heard of after having been spoken
in twenty degrees north latitude, and
there could be no doubt that of the nu-
merous crew who were in her, the poor
captain, when encountered raving in an
open boat amid the frightful solitude OF
the great Atlantic, was the last man.
London Telegraph.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
A LITERARY LAMENT.

A LITERARY LAMENT.
/ want to be an author
Who's able 10 condense
A brainful Of first-ratc ideas
Into six lines intense,
To satisfy those editors
Who think they do 1t brown
When shouting ut their writer's:
-Oh, pray do boil it DOWN.
i want to be an author
Who never will get mad
When editors growl az me,
Your styles diffuse and bad:
This article Is far too long"
And then, with horrid frowns
1T never can b published
Until you boil IL DOWN.!
! want to be an author
So perfect in my way
That editors shall quarrel DER
The RICH. 10 print-and pay.
! will not rest until my work
This compliment shall crown:
Let it alone-'twould spoil 1t quite
To try TO boil 1t DOWN."
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
He Saved the Pieces.

A Pittsburg darky was struck q ter
rife blow upon the head with whole
brick. The stricken one didn't say q
word until he had gathered into his hat
every fragment of the unfortunate
brick, when he calmly remarked to his
assailant: desc yer fragments is each
wuf day fur you in de workhouse.
You can't suit my feelin's wild IMMUNITY,
I can tell yer, boss. "-PittsbaIr0h
Chronicle Telegraph.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
A Great Man.

Blinks-He 10, Minksl How did you
enjoy your visit to Washington?
Minks-First rate. Had good time,
and saw all the sights.
"Notice anything PECULIAR
well, no; nothing very remarkable,
except that there is only one Senator
who wears q swallow-tail coat during
the sessions"
"Some great man, suppose?'
well, yes; he looks so-from be
hind"
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
DISTINCTION AND DIFFERENCE.

But yesterday spoke Of Jones.
Poor Toni His luck was always hardl
-Oh, yesl- said Brown, in carel. ss tones.
He's an unlucky dog, old pardl"
Just sol" said j. suppose that we
Chip in and give the lad q lift
Guess not" said Brown; don't count on mo;
think you'd better let him shift
To-day again mentor ID Jones,
And said he hadn't been around.
YES yesl" said Brown, In eager tones,
Il wonder where be can be foundp
/ wish he'd happen now this way
He's just the man want to meetl
You haven't heardl Why, Yesterday
He made rousing pile on wheatl-
Chicago Netcs.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
ylNGI.Es.

INTERVIEWED BY HORNETS.
His nose was nobby, yet IL seemed
With a cheerfulness be was not blest:
Nose smile adorned his dimpled face
His nose had seen hornets next
II O'Nein
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27


you
zee
this great big boo
belongn to an ugly
brutel 1t weighs a
ton or moro, guess;
1t gave me one part
ing oaress / loved
damsel: she was
fair as sunshine in
the autumn air. One
evening did gladly
whirl in o the do
main OF my girl. We
talked OF love, l
called her dove; we
went down to the
gate to spoon, be-
meath the CLEAN Of
harvest noon. 1
pressed kiss upon her
lips. 1t was 80 sweet gave
another sip. Oh then he
came, the owner or this boot
the same. / felt pressure
sore and quick so sudden that
itmade me sick. Ten feet into
the air flew, and dropped In o the
horse pond too. swore with ell nv might
and main never would make love, no. never
again, unto a maid whose pa he
wore-it isn't fun--a boot
that weighe d
almost . ton
H s. Keller. in Whitehall Times.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27

GENIUS, like the sun upon the dial,
is ever indicating to the human under
standing the application of shadow and
light.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27

IT costs $4,000, 900 year to support
the churches in New York City.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-03-27
HOW TO GET ONE.

HOW TO GET ONE.
nobby proboscis you wish, young man;
To tell you the best way I'll try, II 4 can:
Get one OF your foes
To give two good blows
Right In the middle OF your nose, nose. nose;
Then younl snobby,
IL your nose amt lk)nobby,
haven't told the right way, suppose
-EugtIist.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20
AN ARTIFICIAL INSTINCT.

The Dogs knowledge of Right OF Private
Property.
DR.. Romanes, in the Nineteenth Century.
This is a purely artificial instinct, Gre
ated by man expressly for his own pur-
poses, and it is now so strongly Ingram
ed in the intelligence Of the dog that it is
unusual to find any individual animal in
which it Is wholly absent. Thus We all
know, that without any training a dog
Will allow a stranger to pass his masters
gate without mOlestatiOn, but as soon as
the stranger passes within the gate, and
so trespasses upon what the dog knows
to be his masters territory, the ANNA
Immediately begins to bark in order to
give his mares tnOtiCe of the invasion.
And this leads me to observe that bark
ing is an artificial instinct, developed,
1 believe, as an OffshOOt from the more
general instinct of guarding property.
None Of the wild species Of dogs are
known to bark, and therefore we must
conclude that barking is an artificial in
stinct, acquired for the purpose Of notify
ing to his master the presence of thieves
or enemies. 1 may further observe that
this instinct Of guarding property eX-
tends to the formation of an instructive
idea on the part of the animal of itself
constituting part Of that property. If,
for instance, a friend gives you temper
airy charge of his dog, even though the
dog may never have seen you before, OBJ
serving that you are his masters friend,
and that his master intends you to take
charge Of him, he Immediately transfers
his allegiance from his master to you, as
to a deputed owner, and will then follow
you through any number Of crowded
streets with the utmost confidence. Thus
whether we look to the negative or the
positive influences characterization upon
the psychology of the dog, we must con
clude that q change has been wrought,
so profound that the whole mental con-
stitutiOn of the animal now presents
more express reference to the needs Of
another and his enslaving animal than
it does to his own. Indeed, we may say
that there is no one feature in the psy-
chOlOgy of the dog which has been left
unaltered by the influence of man, eZ-
cepting only those instincts which being
neither useful nor harmful to man have
never been subject to his OperatiOn-such,
for instance, as the instinct Of burying
food, turning round to make a bed be-
fore laying down, etc.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20
ALoNe. LONG JoURNEv.

Detroit Free Press.
When the doctor came downstairs
from the sick-room of Mrs. Marshall the
whole family seemed to have arranged
themselves in the hall to wsylay him.
'HOw soon will mamma dit Well?"
asked little Clyde, the baby.
Can mamma come downstairs next
week." asked Katy, the eldest daughter
and the little housekeeper.
''DO you find my wife much BETTER"
asked Mr.. Marshall, eagerly. He was q
tall, grave man, pale with anxiety and
nights of watching.
The doctor did not smile; he did not
even stop to answer their questions.
81 am in a great hurry" he said, as he
took his hat; 81 must 90 to a patient who
is dangerously i'll. This evening 1 will
call again. 1 have left instructions with
the nurse"
But the nurses instructions were all
concerning the comfort of the patient;
she was professionally discreet and silent.
The children playing on the stairs were
told to make no noise. The gloomy day
wore on and the patient slept and was
not disturbed. But that night before
they went TO bed, they were allowed to
90 in and kiss their mother good night.
This privilege had been denied them
la6ely and their little hearts responded
with Joy to the invitation. Mamma was
better or she could not see them. The
doctor had cured her. They would love
him for it all their lives
She was very pale but smiling, and her
first words to them were:
81 am going on a journey"
"a journey" cried the children. "Wlu
you take US with your"
''No; it is a long, long journey"
Mamma is going to the South" said
Katy; "The doctor has ordered her to.
She will get well in the orange groves Of
Florida"
'I am going to a far distant country,
more beautiful than even the lovely
South, said the mother, "and will not
'You are going alone, mammal" asked
Katy.
"No," said the mother, in low sweet
voice.
"Iam not going alone. My Physician
goes with me. Kiss me gOOd-by, my
dear ones, for in the morning before you
are awake shall be gone. You viii all
come to me when you are ready, but
each must make the journey alone"
In the morning she was gone. When
the children aWOke their father told
them of the beautiful country at which
she had safely arrived while they slept.
"HOw did she 60! Who came for her?''
they asked amid their tears.
"The chariot of Israel and the horse
men thereof their father told them
sOlemnly.
People wonder at the peace and hap
piness expressed in the faces of these
mOtherless children; when asked about
their mother they say: "She has gone on
a Journey" and every night and morning
they read in her guide book of that land
where she now lives, whose inhabitants
shall no more say, I am sick, and where
God himself shall wipe all tears from
their eyes.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20
Flowing Hiny Lands.

The best time to pIow is much discus
sed ID this season Of the year. Nor is it
strange that farmers differ 50 much on
the subject as they do. The one whose
soil is clay or heavy loan has learned
that frost acting upon an up-turned soil
reduces the insOluble elements Of plant
food to a soluble and available form, as
nothing else can, hence favOrs fall ploW-
ing; another, who works a soil Of light
porous texture has found that it does
not need the disintegrating action Of the
frost, being already Of a friable nature,
with its fertility readily available. He
has also learned that land plOWed in
Spring is much freer from weeds during
the growing season than that plOWed IN
Autumn. This man will Of course, adVO-
cate Spring blowing.
In plOWing, as in most other branches Of
farm work, we must be governed by our
soils, climate and other conditions; and
it must be remembered that however
beneficial and satisfactory the treatment
of our own soils may be, 1T may not be
the best for others, having different
soils.
But wish to treat particularly Of the
management Of billy lands. 1t has be-
come habitual among many farmers who
call themselves thrifty, to pillow all their
land in Autumn. HillY lands so treated
lose much Of their fertility by heavy
rains and melting SHOWS. No soil, if
hiily, should be turned up in loose fur
rows to lie through the Winter 1t is
desirable to leave such lands as COM
pact as possible. 1t viii wash more or
less at the best; but if loCsened in Au-
tumn the most fertile portion will surely
wash down into the hOilOws, and per-
haps be carried away. Very hilly lands
should be kept in grass, sod being the
most practicable barrier agsinstWashing
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20
FOR FUN.

Norman Z. Jones, Aged12 Years, Placed
Rocks and Rails Upon a Railroad TRACK
He Read Dime Novels and Emulated
Jesse James.
Pittsburg (COr) Boston Globe.
Norman Z. Jones, of Shirley, the p
year-old boy who made tWO attempts to
wreck passenger trains on the FitChburg
road, is now in Jail here. After
the distractions on the track had been
discovered Station Agent Anderson, of
Fitchburg and Special Detective Nc
Elheny, went to Diamond rock, learned
that a boy had been seen lingering in
that vicinity, and proceeded to search
the adjoining woods. Mr.. Anderson
drove about a mile from the place where
the distractions were found and encOun-
tered q small boy with a Ratchet and
knife in his belt and a general "pm-a-
bad-man" makeup. Mr.. Anderson cap
tured the "bad man" without blOOdshed
and charged him with trying to wreck
the trains. The yOungster stOutly denied
that he had anything to do with the
deviltrV until he was taken to Diamond
rock by the agent and the detective, and
fitted to some footprints where the
track was Distracted, when he admitted
that he had placed the rocks and rails on
/ the track "fOr fun"
The young Jesse James proved to
/ be Norman u. Jones, son of Ze-
/ phas Jones, Of Shirley, and his
/ parents were at once notified OF
| his arrest, but they did not appear re-
Gently, when he was arraigned in court
| and held for trial November 3. Young
/ Jones was taken to the Jail, and in reply
to the questions Of the officers he told a
yarn shout a strange man forcing him to
/ put the rocks on the track and holding
his wrists while he was doing the mis-
chief A reporter called at the
Jail, and the young Wrecker was brought
Into the guard-rOom and questioned
about his exploit. He repeated the
story of the strange man, but with 81
many variations and imprObabilitie
that its falsity was perfectly apparent
The man sent him up the track, he said
and remained within hailing distance o
where he was placing the distinctions
He did not know the man, but he knew
that the same man had tried TO Undue
other boys, whom he did not know, Z
, do the same thing a long time age
} Later, he declared that it was anothe
, man, whom be designated as 'Red-head,
+ who had approached the other and VI
known boys. When asked If he la
) been reading dime novels, he said b
read them when he could get them, an
/ he expressed some admiration for jess
! james.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20

crowd to see him perform various antics.
Then she threatened to whip him, but
as he didn't know the value received on
such occasions, he was not much i'm
pressed. And the sweet child always
told the truth. Dialogues like the follow
ing were IN order:
did you eat that bottle Of jam,
David?"
'sYeth, ma'am."
'YOu are a dear boy for telling the
truth. I would rather have you eat all
my jam than tell a lie"
And David finished the jam.
One day the fire engine dashed up to
the house and put out the blazing roof
How did the fire catch? Mrs. Ransom
called David and in a voice he had never
heard before:
do you know how the house caught
fre?''
"Yeth, mamma. I did it with a little
match p
what did you do it for?"
"TO see the engines up there"
81 tell you what, LOUISE" said Pa Ran
som, you're bringing that boy up for the
Penitentiary."
mo, Pm not" responded Mrs. Ran
som, taxing of her slipper. "I'll try the
good old Way."
And then and there she gave him such
a practical application of the ethics of
sole that made him realize that his
reign Of terror was over.
Mr.. Ransom secretly apPlauded. cts
all very well to talk about blood" he
said, "but breeding has lots to do with
the making of good men, and Wimmin,
too. If you're going to make a soldier
Of boy he's got to have some other
training. Besides hard bed to sleep on,
and rough kind of diet, he must be dis
ciplined, give and take hard knocks, and
learn to be Subordinate. That is as true
as gospillr"
Mrs. RansOm's experiment now threat
ems to turn out we'll.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20

"W hat did you put the rocks on the
track forf' ne was asked.
TO stop the trains" replied Young
Jones with cool indifference.
Didn't you know that You might
throw the trains of and kill scmebOdV?''
Wash enough rocks to do that. Be
sides, they could see 'em in time"
but they might not have seen them %
An engineer amt no good if he can't
see things On the track I just wanted
Then there wasn't any man with
''Was, too"
and SO the yoUngster went on, sullen-
ly sticking 70 his prepOsterOus story of
the my thlcaI man, and showing no signs
Of COntnt1on. He could not tell what he
intended to do in case of a Wreck, but he
was quite sure that no detective could
have caught the redOubtable Jesse under
similar circumstances, because Jesse
would have fought, and he regretted that
he had nothing but a Ratchet with
which to defend himself. "a hatcbet
amt good for nothing" he said. 'I'd
rather have knife" When asked what
he would DO with a knife, q cunning look
came into his face, and he answered:
"Id white with it."
From the cautious replies given by the
youngster to numerous questions, it ap-
pears that he has run away from home
several times, armed with such weapons
as he could get hold of, and camped in
the woods alone. He made no COM
plants about his treatment at home, and
gave no reason for his escapades. The
Trouble with him is that his head is full
Of the perniCiOus stuff which is printed
in flash papers and cheap novels, and ne
Is imbued with an ambition to initiate
the deeds of bold burglars, train robbers,
and the miscellaneous miscreants who are
held up as heroes before Young America.
He is a well grown boy, for his age, and
a hardy young liar, His face indicates
intelligence enough, and more than cum
ming enough, and he appears to rather
enjoy being regarded as a hard case.
When locked up in the jail, he told an
other prisoner that he could get out if he
had a knife, and proceeded to explain
how the job could be done. He further
declared that if they should send him to
the reform school they could not keep
him there a week. The prospects are
that the young train Wrecker viii be
given an opportunity to test the security
Of the reform school.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20
Topeka Poultry Abroad.

A special to the Commonwealth from
Trenton, Mo-, says:
The following is the list Of awards and
the score of each bird of Topeka stock
on exhibition at the Poultry Show Of the
Northwest Missouri Poultry Club, which
closed the 8th of December, the awards
being made by B. n. Pierce, of Indian
apolis, Ind, publisher Of Fancier's Ga
zetts:
G. H. Rhodes, fowls, Black Cochin
cock, SO points; Black Cochin hen, 95
points; chicks, COckerel cut pullet, 913
doints; Cockeren No. ., 903 points;
puliet No. 2, 903 points; CockereI No. 3,
49, points; pullet No. 3, 934 points;
COckerell No. 4, So points; pullet No. 4,
943 points.
George II. Hughes, white face Black
Spanish cock, 81 points; hen, 928 points;
chicks, Cockerell, so points; pullet SO
points.
o. Badders exhibited two pair of
Black Cochin chicks; st. John a 10
pound cockerel, which scored SO points.
His mate, a pullet, Belva Lockwood,
scored 49, points. The cOckerel Ben
Butler, scored 90 points, and his mate,
Belle Of Topeka, scored IS points.
JAMES B. MURRAY,
Secretary n. W. Poultry Club.
Taking into consideration that one
hundred points Is considered the ideal Of
perfection, something that no poultry
fancier in the world has yet reached, 973
points is the highest score on record.
1t will be seen that Kansas is far ahead Of
many of the older States even in the
cranky notion of breeding fancy poultry,
and as good stock can be procured in
this State as any State in the Union.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-12-20
ADJUSTMENT.
JOHN C. WHITTIER.

The tree Of faith It's bare dry boughs must shed
That nearer heaven the living ones may climb
The false must fall though from our shores Of
time
The old lament be heard: 'Great Pan is deadP'
That vail is errors from his high place hurled
This sharp recOil is evil understood,
Our times unrest, an angel sent OF God
Troubling with life the waters Of the world.
Even as they list the winds OF the Spirit blow
To turn or break our century rusted Yanes;
Sands SHIFT and waste, the rock alone remains
Where led Of Heaven the strong tides come and
90
And stOrm-clouds rent by thunderbolt and wind
Leave, free Of mist, the permanent stars behind.
Therefore trust although to outward sense
Both true and false seem threatened 1 viii
hold
With newer light my reverence for the old,
And calmly wait the births of providence.
No gain is lost; the clear-eyed saints look down
UntIoubled on the wreck of schemes and
creeds;
Love yet remains, its rosary Of good deeds
Counting IN Jask-field and o. er peOpled town;
Truth hath charm'd life; the inward word sur
wives
And, day by day, its revelation brings;
Faith, hope ana charity, whatsoever things
Which cannot be shaken, stand. Still holy lives
Reveal the Christ of whom the letter told,
And the new gospel Verihes the old.
-AndOUer E2eUiesU