The Monitor. [volume] (Woodstown, N.J.) 1884-1892, 1884-08-22

Il
leyer keep AaaaHs-
To be certain Of Getting bFse whsn yoa
20 fishing take Il alpnc With you
L-angtry and Gebhard- The Lily, Of lhe
Valley and tie Vale; Of the Lily.
TIE dub dade i becoming cheaper every
ly. He VII sooa b ofsEed With packase
q tea 4-
A PllIl23elphia restaurant. airerSises every
thing from packed elephant 70 q freasseedi
iade- 4EFftR /
Man i. very much Ike an egg-k keep Lin
Il hot Eafer ami he / bound 70 become
llzEli=ued
NO. said Philadelphia belle, no elec-
the light Ter ne Il can't Be turned down
l0n enough
There Is youth IL this city who wears
lis shoes 50 sharp pointed that he can Use
lie toes to shave himself with
Although Senator Edmunds keeps his
head pluInb, be isn't rieh enough to keep 8
plumber IN the house all the time
Jeenls says his boarding house Is too slow |
lie told the Old lady yesterday that hereafter
he like dynamite carrier
Fortune knocks at every mans door once
il a life. But in some czses il only stops |
long enough 70 leave printed circular.
When an elderly lnaiden lady adorns her,
self with false hir. false teeth, paint and |
powder, she Is making up for lost time.
''Cluck, cluck clueked the anxious hen
I've lost q ehicken.@ Don, brood over |
IT. mamma, pipel another youthful member
Of the family
KsH prn h. ~. " r. II
they have been playing 10 large houses-
They forget to add that the houses were
frequently empty.
Tie Obj iady dllnt mean i. tor joke
WHEN .Ae read L0tiee Of '.BlAkes shirt
store, AID wondered Z the pooE nan hadn't
A4yaGdg Il nzeEs e
A-sssllu a-=es groceryL--n L nov hght-
EzE 4 ! s1zzrss ssze Lease, durtng . rush
& -sa4zzesz L. sE-a- ~. h Esei LIS wife 5
-eE -t4zez s1r s'7sz< sop
a LIZ 20 Ezlez ssE,as.e zbo1t the mouth
* = y ua=zEzL zEs the remark Of I
2as1113 = Was ERd photographer vho
- s-1zz E.s vIs.s's pzzosogrsph
Jumbo @s5eaissa transit oTer the BROOKLYN
BEzage Wire NY ;eEus refused Z" asked
Baraan. 'Jambo's unabridged" was the
reply. and the monster got over ferry well
~ Steamboat
"As @s 90 to pres, facetioasly remarked
he young Journalist, as he put his arm
around her waist You do no. make
good impression, she replied as she slapped
lis mouth.
Don't stand on ceremony come in,
said lady TO old farmer, as she opened
the door. why my goodness Excuse
re, maa / thought l was standing on
tie door-ma.
quaint old miIister was once asked wha.
he thought Of his two sons, who were both
preachers, well he replied, George has
better show IN his show window than
John, but John has a larger stock in his
warehouse.
NO, sir, said the man, you needn't tell
me q woman ever had her dress poke,
picked don't believe q thief could dis
cover il l know / tried for two hours to
discover the pocket Of one Of my wifes
'lrezses, and had to give it up"
Why don't you come TO Sunday School ?"
said superintendent 70 a boy. "Cause IA
owes my teacher for pair Of boots, an the
teacher got 10 sending notes home by me,
an pa said needn't 90 any more till he paid
Tor the boots, an l don't reckon III go any
more.
One Of the wholesale drapery houses has
new clerk, whose father from the country
went il to see him the other day, aud was
surprised 10 learn that all the statesmen had
nicknameS He asked the floor walker why
ms son was called Jury" ooh" was the
reply, ''hs Is always sitting on cases
Mr. B. had married the divorced wife of
Mr. C., but had never met him. Hello
said B., is this Mr.. John C. Z" THE same
said Dir. c. Il ought to know you; were
KIN How do you make that out?" why,
We are husbands-in-law. amt WEI" The
relationship was duly acknowledged
A gentleman whose custom il was TO en-
terrain very often a circle Of friends, observed
that one of them was in the habit of eating
something before grace was asked, and de-
termined to cure him Upon repetition Of
the offence, he said :-''For what We are
about TO receive, and for what James Taylor
has already received, the Lord make Us
truly thankful
Father you are an awful brave man.
said Detroit youth, as he smoothed down
the old mans gray locks the other evening
How do You know that: 2 .'Oh, / heard
some men down at the store say that you
killed thousands of soldiers during the war
Me! Why was beef contractor for The
army" sYes, that's what they said :" er
planned young innocent, as he slid for the
kitchen
Jack" said an afectionate mother Of
Stapleton, the other morning, you really
must come home earlier at night. Do you
suppose Esmeralda likes to have YOU STAY
50 late z" IN tell you how it was, replied
Jack "you see, she was sitting on my lat
and felt little delicate about mentioning
the fact Very well III give you bIt
n 11..ts I'LL