National Republican., 1884-02-23
FENIININE FANTASIES.

"Womon," it is said, Jump at conclu-
sions." We never heard mice called by that
namo Decentralization Star.
He that takes wife takes care-Frdnkdin.
Yes, he takes caro- that his wife doesn't
catch him hugging the servant girl.-Kentucky
State Journal
1t was gallant Pittsburg fireman whose
laconic reply to tho question, What is your
fayorto hose carrago?" was, "A pretty girl"
--PitisbWgh Chronicle.
To settle the question regarding =" the first
lady" in Washington let the title be conferred
upon the one who can make the best buck
wheat cakos.-Erchangc.
Every girl married thus far this year
positively declares that the engagement was
made in 1888. She does this to avert sus-
picion that she took advantage of leap year
Hotel Nail.
A rural debating society was debating the
question: (Which is the most solemn cere-
mony n funeral or marriage2" when it
was noticed that all the married men agreed
that wedding was.
The novel "Two Kisses is said to bo hav-
ing great run. We know of man in this
town who took 1.-TWO Kisses" and is having
great run. The womans husband is after
him.-RocElamd Courier.
"Yes," said Mrs. Liberal, 'T hate those
Straiters. they are SO awfully bigoted but
they needn't be so stuck up about their re-
| ligion. The liberal faith is gaining fast and
it won't be many years, guess before we
can be as bigoted as they are"
Are you the rector ?" said gentleman
calling at the rectory of little Episcopal
church in country town. YES" replied
| the moek-lookinR gentleman who came to the
door, but if you'll step in I'll introduce you
| to my wife. She's the director" Burlington
| Free Press.
This talk of the girls taking advantage OF
leap year is all nonsense. They know that
| the man who hasn't the courage to pop the
question would want his wife to pop out oi
bed and do all the fighting when burglar:
were heard breaking into the house.-Phila
delphia ChronicleHerdH.
Footprints Of men and women, supposed tc
| have been left on the hardening soil so 00(
years ago, have been discovered in Nicaragua
Those Of the women are distinguished from
those made by the men by the frequency
with which they wheel about and point iu
the opposite direction, when their owners
turned around to SEQ what other women
didn't have on.
Mrs. Livermore says that in the west sh,
finds "a perfect network of women's clubs
1t goes hard with the infant born in famil!
where the father spends his nights at th
club, and none but very COURAGEOUS chilt
would ever think of entering upon the lif
that now is under such very depressing aus
pices.-BostOn Transcript
Wilkie Collins tells story about "a Widow
Who Wooed aud Won," and makes as muc
fuss about it as though it wasn't an ever.
day occurrence, Being q widow, of cours
she wooed, and being woman, it naturall
follows that she won. A woman will turn u
trumps every time, and if she be widoN
she will deal herself every ace, face card an
ten spot in the pack.-Chicdgo Sgn.
A Little Rock lawyer of prominence wen
home the other morning at an unseeml
hour. "Why are you so late?" asked hi
wife. I" am not late / am early" "Wh
didn't you come home last night 2" Drunk.
Couldn't you walk ?" mot without stag
gering." why didn't you stagger home
then !" "Well, I'll tell you. My house ha
the name of being an orderly place, and
didn't want people to be seen staggering int
the yard. Every man must protect his fan
lily, you know.--ArEdnsaW Trdreler
Grand Visitation-Gieo. w. salter Lodge
The officers of the Grand Lodge /. o.
7. made an official visit to G. w. Salter lodge
last night. Tho records of the lodge wer
found to be in excellent condition. After th
business was disposed of the following prt
gramme WAS presented Reading, Mrs, Il.
Woodward, of Star of Hope address, A. Ka
strom, G. w. c. t.. vocal solo, Mrs. Q.
Love remarks, NJ, p. Caldwell, G. w. S.
recitation, Mrs. II. w. Layton; vocal soil
Miss Austin recitation, Miss Bessie Haydel
address, John BOssius, G.. w. O..