The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-02-07
THOSE BOYS.
Arp Relates His Experience with Them

THOSE BOYS.
Arp Relates His Experience With Them.
atlanta Constitution.
How can a man ruminate and be a
philosopher and illuminate his thoughts
upon paper when numerous and lovely
offspring Of all sizes aud sexes are dane:
ing around the room to the music, and
laughing and squealing and squalling,
and every now and then an infantile baul
ia heard as one of the little chaps gets !
bump on the floor. 1t is all apart of tho
battle of life, and every patriarch must
fight it out on that line and be recon-
oiled. You can tame one child, but you
can't tame dozen when they they are
all in bunch. There is no getting away
from 'em here by day or night, in this
kind of weather, for they must stay in
the house, and every room belongs to 'em,
and if I lock 'em out they beg and bang
at the door until get sorry and have to
let 'em in. So every night turn 'em all
in to the big parlor and let 'em frolic un.
til they tire down and get sleepy, and
then peace reigns in Warsaw until morn.
ing. I am scrouged up, right now, in
the chimney corner in big arm chair
trying to write while these hilarious
chaps of two generations are making
enough Jacket to make a lunatic asylum
ashamed of itself. I often wonder if any
other patriarch has such q lively ire
pressible set around him. Does anybody
else's children slam the doors as hard
and talk as much and get hungry as often
and are as everlastingly on the 60, NOV.
ing to and fro like q fddler's elbow.
Mrs. ARP says they get it all from their
paternal ancestor, and tells how / get up
in the morning with the chickens and go
bruising around and shutting doors and
ringing the breakfast bell before break
fast is put on, and ever and anon peep
ing in at her bed room door to see
whether she is awake or asleep. "Of
course I am awake" says she, "for how
could anybody sleep after you get up, the
very time of all times when l want 10
Sleep"
my anxiety" said I, "my anxiety
about you for fear you are sick or perad.
venture are dead, and then besides | am
so awful lonesome without you"
Mrs. Arp never replies to the like of
that, but she looks at me, she does.
As hen gatherith her brood under
her wings, so doth Mrs. Arp look after
her brood. She knows no other joy, and
is everlastingly working over some old
garment and making it anew. Carl ia
strutting around now in bran new over.
coat that looks like it come from the
tailor's, and it was cut down from one of
my old coats. What would have become
of the children if they had never had
any mothers; who would scold 'em when
they deserved it, and take it all back
when they put on penitential face;
who is just about to whip 'em forty times
day, and winds up with sugar or candy
or apples or something else she has hid
away; who exclaims with pitiful horror,
merciful heavens and did l everl and
what is to become of you? and didn't |
tell you to keep out of that branch? ?
Who washes their chapped hands and
annoints 'em with glycerine and vase.
line, and puts 'em to bed and tucks the
cover all around 'em so good, and then
spreads on another quilt before she goes
to bed herself? Who makes 'em set
do.a by her and spell and read, and then
explain it all as they get into deep water
and can't fathom the big words? Who
teaches 'em manners and how to behave
and repeat it over and over again every
day and all the year round and never
gets tired?
How these boys do strut round and
brag and play the hero when they begin
to wear gallusses aud can shoot gun
and have killed their first birds.
DOG nay cat if can't wheel bully
load OF wood to the house. can wheel
more'n you can"
"Bet you Eve dollars you can't. I can
wheel more'I q mule can pull, dog'd if
I can't"
"Confound that confounded old nail,
it's tore my coat, and grandma will 60
for me. Pm going to get Aunt Honey
to sew it up"
"That dingnation old billy goat went
and throw'd me this morning. was q
riding him and he didn't want 10 go in
the branch and get his old feet wet, and
I give him cut and he made big jump
to Jump over and landed me right in the
water, confound his old diDgnation hide
of him."
Jerusalem, what big hawk! Amt
he a rip psnorter? If I had a gun now
and he was to light on that sycamore l
could just plug him from away back"
"Bet you couldnert."
"Bet could. Dog my cats if l could
ent just get away With him; I'd cure him
of sucking eggs"
"Hawks don't suck eggs"
"Bet you they do"
"Bet you they don't"
"Well, I know that crows suck eggs,
and hawks amt no better than crows."
One day Mrs. Arp was in hearing of
scraps and fragments Of such elegant
conversation among her children aud
grand. children, and she suddenly ap.
peared and lifted up her voice and said:
"Come here boys. Come right here,
every one of you. Did ever hear such
language in all my life? Where in the
wide world did you learn to say confound
and dingnation and blame my skin and
dad burn it all? Did you learn such
ugly words in any book at school? Why
I'm afraid you will get to swearing if you
keep on"
"Well, ma,na, it amt no harm to say
confound, il it? hearn papa say "con.
found the luck" the other day when he
slipped down the back steps on the ice"
"Well, that's a very different thing.
Your papa he-well | reckon he was
taken by surprise-I reckon it just
slipped out as he slipped down before he
knew it,"
"Grandma I heard grandpa say devil
the other day. Don't you know he said
there was some folks just like the devil,
for when the devil was sick he prayed,
and when be got we'll he went to cussin