Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-26
ELEC TED.

eyes" she said, 81 always obey my hus-
band. but reckon I have something to say
about what his commands shall be. e."-Boston
Post.
t.I thought you were a fame of Miss Bull
lion, Mr.. Dood, :" said Slim, 81 thought SO,
too, !" said the other, until the old man put
me out one. night. boston Commercial
Bulletin.
.'Dootor, do you think smoking is hurt
ful?" s'Why, of course. Look at the chin
neys. They make business of the thing
and yet it's those that smoke the least that do
the ebest."-Exchange.
A BrattIeboro man found hoe in his bed
the other morning. He couldn't fathom the
mystery until he went out and found his
boots leaning up against the wall in the tool
house.-Detroit Free Press.
At tbs tailor's: 81 want a mourning cos
tune; 1 have Just lost my uncle" The tailor
because you lose only an uncle, whilst
lose customer. French Fun.
A variety of bean is grown in Mexico
which will jump up several inches when
taken in the hand. This ought to be intro
duced into this country. The venerable
restaurant bean is too passive.-Burlingto
Free Press.
bookkeeper riding through a street in
the west end of London, and seeing s'Dr" ON
look little more regular if there was an oc-
casional "Cr." on the other side of the
street. Exchange.
Here is story which goes to show that
phonetic spelling might cause as much con-
fusion as the present unsystematic fashion:
When Patti was in San Francisco she was de-
scribsd as the greatest diva on earth, where
upon a professional sent her a challenge to
swim any distance she might name, for sill
yer cupi-Boston Transcript.
Narrow Escape of an Editor-'I wish
very much you would settle this little bill,
said q bill collector. walkingIinto the saac-
tum of an Austin journalist. The editor
glanced fearlessly at the document and ex-
claimed: stLittle bill! Why, man alive, this
bill is nearly twice as much as agreed to
pay for those trousers. You must come
down so per cent, and then perhaps I'll pay
It, sometime next spring" 1--WE can't dc
that, The legislature is in session now, and
we have good deal of business with them; we
calculate that only one man in two
pays, so for that reason We have
to make out the bills for It vice the amount
ssThen regard me as one of the men who
don't pay '.In that case you will be placed
in the same category with members of the
legislature" The seditor seemed absorbed
in thought. Finally, he heaved great sigh,
and murmuEing: II wouldn't DO 1t II It Wasnt
for NV family, =" he pulled out large roll of
bank notes and picking ont q fve-dollar bill,
handed it over to the enemy, and thus pre-
vented stigma being placed upon his repu-
tation.-Texas Sifting4.
oRrHoEPH AND oRrHoeRAPHY.
pioughboy whistles behind his plough,
For his lungs were sound and he had no cough;
ga Quided his team with plant bough
And waterea it well at wsysids trough.
The toll was hard, for the land was rough
It lay on the shores of Scottish Tough
But his well-fed team stout and tough,
And he Piled his bosgh to flank and hough.
He pleuEhsd all day, and the crow and oIough
Flew around his head, though he oft cried
shough.
But his plough at last struck n hidden souah
With force that ssnt&h share clear through.
Then the team took fright and ran OF with the
plough
With the speed of the wind from tbs pIeughboy
though
He shouted s'Whoain and into slough
1t plnngsd where the mud soft as dough.
The pio1ghboy wept for the wreck was thorough.
He ned that night from the farm to the borough.
-SpmerYille journal