The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-28
THE BOTTLE IMP.
A Voice Speaks from Within a
Mammoth Champagne Bottle,
And Gives Points on the Ins and Outs
of the Pcrambulatfng Adver-
Using Business.
INaW York Sun |

New York Sun.
The gilded neck of a contrivance fashioned
in the similitude of II champagne bottle tow
cred above the heads of the throng in Sixth
avenue pair of legs protruded from the
bottom. Half way up, on the side which
faced in the direction of its progress, was a
small opening, with a grating across it,
Stepping alongside, the reporter raped near
the grating.
''Whos there!" came challenge in hollow
tones from within.
The response, "A FRIEND" suggested itself,
and was spoken.
what do you wantF said the voice.
WANT to ask how you like this thing
The bottle became communicative, and rs
it toddled along up the avenue the voice
said: at all depends on the weather A man
as understands the business will accommodate
himself to the seasons. He will tote ban
ner, or, may be, carry le;tered umbrella or
wear painted linen duster during the
heated term, take to boards when the
season of raw northeast winds comes
on, and go into a bottle for the
winter. Boards is better than banners in
cold weather. The wind always blows up or
down the street, so a Teller is pretty well
protected most of the time. When he comes
to crossing if he finds the wind whistling
across pretty sharp, he can walk edgeways,
and protect himself. But in right-down cold
weather bottle is as much better than
boards as a double-breasted beaver overcoat
Is better than liver pad.
Then, again, in hot weather, no man as
knows himself will go into bottle, unless he
happens to be a chap as has seen good deal
better days, and don't want to be recognized
by his friends. Take ward politician in re-
duced circumstances, f'rinstance-he don't
want to be seen carrying bannero or between
boards; so he is glad enough to go into bottle
for the heated term. Then there is once
IN while chap as has reasons for sort o.
Keeping cut of view, you know, and he is
ready Tor bottle any time in the year.
amt telling no names, but | knew a party
what Kept away from the police for month
or more, till they got off his track, by doing
the bottle act. He used to toddle along
the avenue, right by the side of the detec-
tives who was looking for him. He wasn't
any of your poverty stricken sort, but lived
IKE hghtlng cock-carried bottle of the
best old stuff in his coat pocket, lunched on
boned sardines when he was loafing along,
and smoked real Havanas. The smoke! Oh
that was all right. He blew it out of the
-Oohoue' anu, IL any DOuy saw IT, tneN thought
it just curled up from the cigar of somebody
else who was passing.
1--WE amt all so toney as this chap Wac ~
the voice went on but we manage to have
good many comforts. My cupboard amt
very replete with luxuries, but can offer
you hunk of gingerbread, half sandwich
and clay pipe Of tobacco Generally
spea king, it amt safe to light pipe till dusk
and then you have to be careful when YOU
light up, and to hold your hand over the
bowl when you smoke. But the neck of the
bottle holds the smoke in and you can snuff
II up half dozen times before it gets out
"HeavyT the voice said, in response to an
inquiry. Not very. You see this thing is
made Of sort of oil-cloth over a skeleton
like hoop .kirt. The whole business don't
weigh much more than an ulster For
rainy day there amt nothing like it. No
matter how hard it pours you're dry as a
irlsk. Another advantage of being in
bottle when the weather is suitable is that
you can 90 against the wind about as good
. as With lt-pr-sents a smooth and rounding
surface, and you don't get blown all over the
sidewalk as you do with big fiat boards.
Oh little Is good enough for me till next
May, said tle voice at parting. Come
around and call again during the winter N
don't recognize your knock, just sing out.
ans shaE know your voice.