davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
Southern Progress.

We reprint an interesting ar,cle
from the Chicago Inter Ocean:
The South is part of the United
States The Inter Ocean will please
post this announcement in its editorial
rooms. Houston Post.
Yes, we marched with the boys VIII n
proclaimed that sentiment from the
Ohio to the Gulf. We are delighted
that our esteemed contemporary has
found it out. Now join with us, and
live squarely up to the spirit and letter
of the Constitution. The Southern
United States in the time to come will
be the favored land of all the world.
There is no sensible reason why il
should wait for its boom until the old
fossils of the South die off. 1t should
throw0ide open its doors and invite
immigration and give glad welcome.
whether men are from the North or
from across the Atlantic. New York
last year received 146, 637 immigrants
that settled in her borders; Kentucky
received LIZA, Illinois received 1855,
Virginia received POP. Ohio received
1906, North Carolina "a. Pennsylvania
received 35,5lS. South Carolina rs,
Minnesota 1857. Texas 2,6S9--and SC
on through the list of States. Facts
like these tell the story, and the think.
ing men of the South should read and
solve the problem. The time is coming
when The Inter Ocean and the papers
which have spoken honestly aud vigor.
orously of abuses in the South will bt
regarded as its best friends. We wait
for that day for vindication.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
COoIey,s C0Dundrum.

Mr.. Cooley's memory is exceedingly
freacherous. and it often gets him into
trouble. The other night he was at a
party at Smiths. and while the COM
pany sat round the supper table Cooley
suddenly concluded ne would eject a
connndrum he had heard somewhere.
and so. in an interval of silence. he
said, I've got a pretty good conun-
drum "a Ike you to guess. Can any
body tell me why a druggist who keeps
his bottles down stairs is like a certain
kind of musician?n Everybody at once
began to guess the answer, and Cooley
sat there for a moment smiling. Pres
emily however. he thought he would
get the answer ready, in order to give
it, and to his intense alarm found that
he had forgotten it. He began to feel
warm. He thought the subject over
with all his might, and he nearly had
the answer several times, but it always
eluded him. Then he became warmer.
and the perspiration began to stand
out upon his forehead. The company
gave it up one after another, and as
they did so each one asked Cooley what
the answer was. Come, Mr.. Cooley.n
SttN stS hose. We arc tli WdtliDD iOF
the answer. : ''0nt with it, Cooley,'
said another. Cooley, we can't be
happy until we have the answer to that
conundrunl." remarked third. Cooley
would have given millions Mt that mo-
ment to be invisible At last he ex-
claimed - he-ah the-fact is that
the affair-thst is the conundnlm-
the whole thing, pom honor is a joke.
There IS no answer to ii, pom honor. .
Then every one said they didn't see
anything very amusing about jokes of
such a character, and Smith frowned;
while Cooley heard the man next to
his neighbor say that he, Cooley, must
be drunk Then Cooley rose suddenly
from the table aud bolted out through
the front door. About two hours afte-
wards, while he was in bed, he all at
once remembered the answer, and he
instantly rose and went round to Smiths.
After ringing the door bell for half an
hour old Smith put his head out of the
bedroom window. II know it now,n
shouted Cooley know it; it's be-
cause he was vial-in-ceIlaf. $50 to
thunder!" calculated Smith, and he shut
the window with slam and went back
to his bed. And now the Cooley don't
speak to the Smiths, and old Cooley car
ries the answers 10 his conundrums
written on his shirt cuffs when he goes
into company, SO as to be certain that
he will have them when they are wanted.
MAJ Adeler.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
TRIALS OF AN INVENTOR.
The Reception Awarded Him at the Headquarters.


There will never come time when
the headquarter Office of q railroad line
will not receive at least one visit per
week from the man with the patent car
coupler. During the last fifteen years
he has called about four times week,
and that average is being maintained in
way to wear out hall carpets as fast
as manufacturers can desire. The car
couplers are not all alike, but the in
ventors are. The programme is as reg
ular as if it had been adopted by large
majority The inventor asks for the
President of the road and is shown to
the office:
Good morning. Is the President
inp''
mo, sir he won't be in until after
dinner. Anything special?'
"Well, rather special. l have in
vented
"Ah! A patent carpet-coupler! You
must go to TIE General Superintendent. y
Its the biggest thing of the kind
ever heard of, "
Yes, know, but you'll find him four
doors down the hall =
The inventor opens the fourth door
and clerk inquiries:
What is your business?n
"Well, had a lame foot last summer
and couldn't do much of any work, and
so | set about il and
Invented car-coupler, OF counsel
The General Superintendent is not in.
The third door TO the left is the Assist
ants
The third door opens to reveal an at
tendant ready to inquire what is wanted:
well, being had come to town to
buy myself some hickory shifting, |
thought | might as we'll bring along
Your patent car-coupler. We were
expecting you. Go down to the yard
master"
Everybody in town says this is the
biggest thing ever invented, and |
reckon--'
The yardmaster isn't in. The train
dispatcher won't listen. The gate
keeper has no time. The depot police
man may look at the invention some
other day. When he entered the depot
with that patent coupler under his arm
his mind was made up to let the Michi-
gan Central or Lake Shore put it on
their cars for $4,000 cash down. Two
hours have done the business for him,
and as he starts up town the coupler is
recklessly thrown under a seat in the
waiting-room and the inventor hopes
from the tops of his boots that somebody
will steal it before he gets back
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
A Wedding ON tIle Rail.

Monday morning James T. Hague and
Miss Sheets, of Salesvlle, O., were on
the Hempfield division of the Baltimore
and Ohio Railroad, on the way from
Wheeling to Squire Mayes' mansion in
West Alexander. Seeing two ministers
on board they concluded to make the
journey more romantic by being mar
RED on the train. They accordingly
went into the baggage car and in the
presence of Conductor Brady and Mar
Gus Ber, of Wheeling, they were made
man and wife. One of the clergymeu
was making prayer rs they approach
ed the tunnel near West Alexander.
and he continued Notwithstanding the
darkness of the tunnel and the rafting
of the ain. The happy compile left the
trails at Ciaysyille Hheelinq IutelF-
Qencer
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
On Shakespeare's Cliff.

John Burroughs gossips delightfully."-
in the Century of Mature in England, "
and Alfred Parsons pictures keep him
good company. OF the cliffs about
Dover, he says: From Canterbury
went to Dover, and spent part of day
walking along the cliffs to Folkestone.
There is good foot-path that skirts the
edge of the cliffs, and it is much FREE
quented. 1t is characteristic of the
compactness and neatness of this little
island that there is not IN inch of waste
land along this sea margin; the fertile
rolling landscape, waving with wheat
and barley, and with grass just ready
for the scythe, is cut squarely off by the
sea; the pillow and the reaper come to
the very brink of the chalky cliffs. As
you sit down on Shakspere's Cliff, with
your feet dangling in the air at height
of three hundred and fifty feet, you
can reach back and pluck the grain
heads and the scarlet peoples. Never
have | seen such quiet pastoral beauty
take such a sudden leap into space.
Yet the scene is tame, in one sense;
there is no hint of the wild snd the saw
age; the rock is soft and friabe, kind
of chalky bread, which the sea devours
readily; the hills are like freshly cut
loaves; slice after slice has been eaten
away by the hungry elements.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

ana tell the country so plainly, that he
who runs may read their position on
this great question.
Another important issue will grow
out OF our present financial condition,
especially those phases of it which re-
late to the payment of the national
debt, the continued existence of our
national banking system, the banish-
ment of the legal tender greenbacLs
from circulation, and other questions of
kindred character. The Democratic
party has not been sound on questions
of finance since it was struck by the
hat craze just after the war, when the
Government proposed to resume spicie
payments. The tariff aud financial
questions will be the vital issues of the
coming campaign, but the discussions
will involve the records of both parties
and their conduct since the Republican
party overthrow its antagonist in 1860.
Every voter viii insist upon knowing
what this great strife which is to
occupy so much time and attention this
year, is about in order that he may do
his part in rendering correct verdict.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
Home aud Grave of President Jobnson

I'm Greenville,n says correspon-
dent OF the Chattanooga Tenn Times,
1.-THE late President Andrew johnson
lived, as tailor. alderman. legislator and
President, and here he is buried. The
shop in which he labored as tailor now
stands in the eastern part of the town.
just over the entrance to the shop.
which IS a small frame building, aud in
which colored family Is now living. is
q pine board, upon which is written. in
letters now almost erased by rain and
storm, the following: A. johnson.
Tailor. A little out from the western
border OF the town stands the mouu-
ment OF marble which marks the rest
ing-place of ANDREW johnson, Presi-
dent Of the United States.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
Electric Washington,

Washington, once squalid, muddy
and mean, has become stately and
splendid city. unlike any other in this
country; and its attractiveness is in
creasing Its situation within dozen
miles of the Falls of the Potomac, gives
it chance to utilize that fine water
power for an admirable purpose. A
company has been formed to use it for
furnishing power to drive the dynamo
machines for generating electricity, and
the electricity will be conducted by
large wires to the city. to furnish all the
public and private buildings with cheap
electric lights. The Capitol, lit up by
electricity, and resplendent from its
basement to the browning figure of Lib
erty on the dome, would make splen-
did sight.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
An Emergency.

A few days ago a man with q weak
and humble expression, and wearing a
summer suit of clothing. applied to one
of the railroad passenger agents fer a
dead-head pass to Toledo.
''Why do you want to 60 to Toledosn
ITO git married.
And you haven't money!"
mot above twenty five cents"
Hadn't you better be worth your
fare to Toledo before taking a wife on
your hands to support?'
"You don't understand the case
protested the man. I'm going to
marry a widow worth at least, $4,000,
and the first thing | shall do will be to
remit you the price of ticket I'm
poor, and the widow knows it, but she
marries me for love"
He protested SO long and earnestly
that he was finally passed down the
road Two days elapsed, and then a
letter was received from him. saying:
Heaven bless you for your kindness?
Reached here all right, and married
the widow according TO programme.
1t turns out that she isn't worth a cop
per. In this emergency may / ask you
to pass us both to Detroit, where have
hopes of striking job?"-M quot
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
The Electoral College.

Representative McCoid has intro
duced bill, to provide for the election
of.Presideut and Vice Presi ut, and for
the unexpired term, in case of their
death or removal. which, Il 5 claimed,
has the support of a num5e Of Senators
and Representatives, and carries out the
idea of the trainers Of the constitution
and insures for four years a continuance
in power of the party electing two high
officials.
The measure provides that the electors
appointed by each state for the election
of President and Vice President shall
hold trusts as such electors. and consti-
tute college of electors for their re-
spective states for the Presidential term
of four years, with power to fill va
cancies In case of the removal of the
President and Vice President from any
cause the Secretary of State shall peg
form the ministerial duties of the Office
ad interim, and shall Immediately issue
a proclamation declaring a vacancy to
have occurred, and appointing day
not less than thirty days thereafter upon
which the college of electors of the sew
eral states shall meet for the election of
President and Vice President for tbs
unexpired term. The bill further pro-
vides that the same course of procedure
shall be followed which, under the con-
stitution, would be followed in the ord-
nary year Of Presidential election, ex-
cept that the counting of the electoral
vote shall take place upon the second
Tuesday after the meeting and organi-
zation of the next succeeding regular
session of congress, unless congress shall
be in session when such election occurs.
Then such counting shall take place the
eighth Tuesday after such election.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
They Located Him.

On the train two gentlemen were dis
cussing the nativity of third who sat
near them. .'Tll bet he's Southern
man" mo. he looks more like n
Westerner I'VE can tell by asking
HIM question. can't we?'' ''All right.
for the cigars; now he's Westerner.
and Ill ask him the question So he
went across the car, and politely said:
II beg Your pardon, sir, but what time
is ita'' ..Well. sah,' he replied. look
ING at his watch, lit is TO minutes be-
70 fo''.. That settled it, Cincinnati
1rdreller.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

Governor Sherman, of Iowa, insists
that the Republican party is party of
prohibition, that it gave full expression
in Iowa to this belief when it reelected
him, and that it is absolutely certain
that the Republican Legislature will
pass a prohibtory law at its coming
session. This is manly and honest
declaration, for the Republican party
in Iowa, as in Kansas and Nebraska, is
certainly in favor of the total annihila-
ton of the liquor traffic.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

The latest leaf from the life of Gar
field is a paper in the January Century,
being extracts from General Garfeld's
dairy during four months trip to Eu-
rope. It is an interesting paper
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
A Tree that Gets Mad.

A specimen of the 'angry tree" in
digenous to Australia. is growing upon
farm in Nevada, and is now eight feet
high. When the sun sets its leaves fold
together, and the ends of the tender
twigs coil up like pigtail. If the twigs
are handled the leaves move uneasily
for minute or more. A singular thing
concerning the tree was its apparent
resentment on being removed from a
pot in which il hadImatured into much
larger pot. Hardly had it been placed
in its new quarters before the leaves be-
gan to stand up in all directions. like
the hairs on the tail of an angry cat,
and soon the whole plant was in a qui-
yer. AT the same time it gave ont an
odor most pungent and sickening. re-
sembling the odor given off by rattle
snakes and other kinds of snakes when
leased. So strong and offensive was
the smell that it had to be removed
from the house for several days.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

Hon. George w. McCrary, of Iowa,
Judge of the Eighth United States Judi
cal Circuit, which embraces Colorado,
Nebraska, Minnesota, Missouri, Iowa,
Kansas and Arkansas, has resigned that
position. His resignation will take
effect March 1, when he viii accept the
position OF general attorney of the At
Crimson, Topeka and Sante Fe Railroad
Company. Judge McCrary was the
Secretary of War under President Hayes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

A Mexican planter employed 200 men
to kill locusts for him. Their wages
amounted to $296.36 and they killed
317. 900 of the insects
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

There is a poisonous weed in Mon
tana which, if sheep eat it, they become
crazy, run headlong into the water and
drown themselves.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

More than 22,000,000 steel pens are
made every week and two-thirds of
them are produced at Birmingham,
England.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

The longest private telegraph wire in
the world is ia Scotland. Ii extends
from Glasgow to Wemyss Bay, dis
tance of thirty-two miles.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

There is one lawyer for every 700
people in the United States.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10
AGENCIES.

H.D.FARQUHARsoN. Pup.isHrR < PROPRIETOR
CHAS. ]. RUSSELL. BUSINESS AGENT
GEO. W. GOLDSMITH, FOREMAN.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-01-10

RICHARD BuGcNs' Mt. Hope
Jos MORRISON Fennimore and vicinity
WM. N. RAMSEY. Glen Haven
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-22
PERTINENT PARAGRAPHS.

HARVEY SPAULDING was assessed S. for
committing, creating and maintaining q null
sance Injurious to health, by Judge Smell to-
day.
ISAAC THORNTON, o colored map, who
refused to pay his fare on Seventh-etreet car
and raised row, was fined % by Judge
to-day. Smell
A CoLoRED MAN, named George Jenkins,
pleaded guilty before Judge Smell to-day to
the beastly charge OF indecent exposure, and
got fifteen days on the farm.
AN AGED countryman, named Patrick
Rodgers, was assessed IS by Judge Smell this
morning for trespassing on a public park. He
was committed in default OF the 1ne.
BASIL JACKSON, in the Criminal Court
this morning, pleaded guilty OF the charge OF q
second oifenee OF petit larceny and was sent to
tho Albany penitentiary for one year.
The charge of keeping a gambling house
Judge Smell to-day. The defendant waived
examination and gave bail in $500 for the
grand Jury.
A BAD little colored girl named Mary
Baily was behind the bars at the Police Court
+ for engaging In lewd and lascivious actions in
the county, and went 10 jail for thirty days In
default OF $40 nne.
COLONEL JACOB KEMPLE, the we'll.
known Republican orator OF West Virginia
will address the Blaine and Logan Club No.
at Alexandria tonight at the hall over French'e
bookstore. The Colonel ia an eloquent and
convincing speaker and Will enthuse the boys
They should give him hearty reception.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-22
THE NEW ORLEANS EXPOSITION.
A Meeting OF the Board OF Com
mfssiOuers Yesterdny.

missiOners Yesterday.
The Board OF Commissioners for the Worlds
Industrial Fair at New orleans, comprising
tho several Executive Departments OF the
Government, held ameeting yesterday at their
rooms on II street to hear tho commissioners
from the Cincinnati and Louisville exposi.
lions, and also to take into consideration what
Will be the best plan TO mako the exhibit on
the part OF the Government and to determine
what class OF articles should be exhibited.
The matter was referred to O subcommittee
consisting Of Commissioners Lyford, OF tho
War Department; Butterworth OF tho In
terror, and Saunders, OF the Agricultural De-
to the extent and character OF the exhibit TO
be made by the Government at Cincinnati and
Louisville In August and September.
1t was determined to take such articles to
these points as can be hastily prepared In the
several departments 30 as TO have the govern.
mental departments at Louisville ready by
1t has been found that the appropriation for
the Worlds Exposition at New Orleans is 80
ridiculously small that 1t leads to great en-.
ers to make an exhibition crediiable TO this
great Government. Tho poverty.strlcken and
oppressed Republic OF Mexico made an ap'
preparation or two hundred Thousand dollars
TO make an exhibit OF the resources and
wealth OF that country while this Government
only gave three hundred thousand dollars to
mineral and mechanical wealth.
Colonel Lyford, Of the War Department;
Lieutenant Buchan, Of the Navy, and Com
missioner Butterworth leave tonight for
Louisville and Cincinnati 10 see and make
arrangements for the exhibits. The appro.
priation OF the funds is not free from DIM
culties. No one except tho heads of the
bureaus comprehend the extent and work
that lies before the commissioners.
Everything is being done to push the work
forward as rapidly as possible. Commissioner
Butterworth has the hardest and most din
cult tack before him OF any, his Department
being so much larger, taking in the numerous
bureaux under the Department OF the Interior
However, he is equal TO the task that awaits
him.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-07-22
EAST WASHINGTON.

Professor Robert o. Mccoy, formerly OF Eist
Washington, 10 spending q few weeks with his
friends In this city.
DR.. John NJ. Gait has returned after brief
visit TO Maryland.
The W. o. t. Union will hold their usual
meeting at the Beamen's Bethel Retreat cor
ner Eighth and l. streets southeast, this even
good singing.
Star Of the East Lodge helda very interest.
Ing meeting In the Seamen's Bethel Retreat
last evening. Addresses were made by Rev.
Richard Emmons, II. o. Emmons and Major
Turner.
Kate n. Miner was arrested last night by
Onlcer Ryan for enticing prostitution on the
streets.
The police are on the lookout for an East
Washington couple who ran away TO Union
town. The only novel feature OF the affair fs
that tho parties Interested arc white woman
and negro man.
Mr.. Franz Krause and Mary A. Hlerliug,
well known In musical circles, were married
at tho residence OF the brides mother yester-
day.
Tho Democrats OF East Washington assem-
streets, last night, for thu. purpose OF organic
ing a campaign club. Mr.. ]. II. Robertson
called the meeting to order and nominated
William II. Masinis for temporary chairman
and they we're unanimously elected. A COM
mittee, consisting OF ]. Il. Robertson, George
0addis, James r. Dobbyns, W. II. Martin and
WAS The on s
Officers; President, Joseph W. Arnold; vice.
president, James II. Dobbyns; recording score.
tary, j.. O. Entwisle; corresponding secretary,
]. II. Robertson; financial secretary, John
Ryan; treasurer, George II. aaddis. Resolu.
tions indoreing the Democratic nominees and
calling the organization the EAST Washington
mously adopted. The club adjourned to meet
Monday next at the same place.