The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-06-23
RAYS OF MIRIH.

1t IL said that wafer cOmpOseh
three-fourths Of the human body" IL
is only necessary TO keep the head I'M
der for minute or two and the entire
body will be composed.
"When shall we have any better
weatherW asked the reporter OF the
editor. ain heaven" was the reply.
Then the reporter looked sad, feeling
that he would never have an opportu-
nifty Of enjoying it.-[IIolyoke Tran
script.
A little i-year old said to his mother
last week: Mother, | believe God
thinks I'm dead" "wby?" asked the
mother, somewhat astonshed at the re-
mark. "Cause haven't said my prayers
for n week. Denver Opinion.
Papa, what Is the tariff" asked a
Congressman's little boy. Gazing COM
passionately at the youthful knowledge
seeker and sadly shaking his head, the
father replied: "My son, cannot tell
lie; do not know."-[ New York Jour
nal.
"Well, Pat" was asked of n recently
arrived emigrant, land how do you like
American" "It's foine country, sor."
"Have you succeeded In getting work,
YETI" mo, sor, but | have friend In
Washington who Is after getting me
pension.-[ Anon.
-"Do you know the Jacksons?" asked
lady Of q young man who lived In
their neighborhood. mo, I'm not per-
sonally acquainted with all the members
of the family he replied, "but | always
speak to the dog at the front gate as
go past ~ Merchant Traveller.
In one Of the new girls schools, the
inspector arrives to make an examina-
ton. ~ wish to have the best informed
young lady come to the blackboard" he
says, solemnly. No one moves.
"fhen," says he gracefully, ~ should
like the prettiest one to come" They
all stand up.-[Le Figaro.
II have no fear of the future" re-
marked harmless young slmpleton.
"You should not be too confident" re-
piled Deacon Smith; "from late develop
ments In New York and elsewhere IL
appears freproof flats cannot be de-
pended upon In this world. Ii may be
the same in the next."-[ Boston Tran
script.
~ can't pay that bill just now; you
will have to wait little for the money"
"All right, SIR" cheerfully responded
the boy. as he seated himself and un-
folded a copy of the morning paper.
.Them's the orders Of the boss" "What
are the orders Of the boss?" demanded
the gentleman, sternly. "Pm to wait
for the money"
"Nein, Herr Silbermann, / don't buy
dot ring of you for no hundert dollar,
un' | dom do no pizZness NIT you vot-
ever, don't it," "Vy l didn't buy dot
ring of Sherman, Ell? Veil, Silber-
mann vas goin' TO marry my wife vunce;
I'M he didn't. Ven man was schmarter
as |, dom do no piZzness nit him, amt
itY"-[ Adapted from the German, for
Puck.
The Rev. +. G. Hall, of Boston, gave
birthday party for his favorite dog last
week, which was attended by a number
of representative people. The dog sat
at the head Of the table with napkin
around his neck, Tapped soup, licked
buttered toast and crunched candy with
marked dignity. Ii only made one
break, and that was TO kick a flea off of
its Jaw with its left hind foot.
"Charley,v said mamma, ''you have
been playing marbles, and you know l
told you that you mustn't, for 1t is
gambling, and gambling is very wicked.
Now, | hope you will never gamble
again" Charley promised he wouldn't.
and his mamma was so delighted that
she took him to the parish fair and gave
him the money to take chances in al
most everything there.-[Boston Tran
script.
Miss Edith-"And are you really an
American, Mr.. Fitzmaurice?" FitZmau-
rice (delighted)-Aw, yes, assure you"
Miss Edith-"Then you are not an Eng
lshmang" Fitzmaurice more delight
ed" Pom honah, no. | am New
Yokah. But-aw-why did you think
| was-aw-from deah old England,
y'know9" Miss Edith-"Well, to be
candid, thought you must be. You
seemed so green about everything In
this country "-[ Boston Post.
Mrs. Blimber, walking home after the
church sewing society meeting, enooun-
tered Mrs. Jorkins. "Of course you've
heard of the latest clerical scandal"
said Mrs. j. "All about an American
minister now in Berlin. It's very
shocking. / wonder what he left his
congregation for2'' "The very subject
we were talkin' about at the meetin'.
These clergymen are gettin' so now,
Mrs. Jorkins, there's no abidin' 'em. III
not let this night pass without speakin'
to Mr.. Blimber and gettin' him to ask
some member of the Board of Foreign
Missions"
society?" "You will have to ask your
father, Lizzie" "Oh, but he's so grum;
I'm afraid to-" "Speak to him prettily,
dear, and he will hear you. He's in the
sitting ROOM" Lizzie summons courage
and goes to her father. ."Pa, dear, I'm
IL. May enter society?" "What
kind Of society?' why, the best
society, of course" "No. Do you sup
pose Pm going to have you make fool
Of yourself agoin' about here saying
cav fur car, faw' fur for, and such
niger talkY No, never"
Ernst's Restaurant.