The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-12-20
You Can Tell 'Em In Minute, When
They're New.

1HCy> re NeWs
The young man wore high silk hat
when he came into the car. When he
sat down he got UP again to put his high
silk hat in the rack. Then he sat down
Then he got up and took his hat out of
the rack aud brushed it. Then he set
it on the seat beside him. Then he got
up and put it in the rack. Then he sat
down. Then he got up and put his
now, high, smooth silk hat on his head.
Then he arose aud put his new, tall,
slick silk bet in the rack, end on, top
toward the engine. Then he sat down.
Then he got up and turned his new
shiny high silk hat over. as though it
was done on the other side. Then he
sat down. Then his new, high, smooth
silk hat bounced ont on the floor Then
he picked it up and brushed it with his
handkerchief: the wrong way at first,
of course. Then he spread newspa-
per on the floor and stood the new high
hat thereon. Then the new still, high,
shiny, smooth silk hat was settled for
the trip.
Then the conductor came along and
the new high glossy silk hat had driven
from the young mans mind all knowl-
edge OF the location of his ticket. He
knew where his new shiny high silk hat
was, but his ticket? He turned all
his pockets inside out and then began
to take off his things until the conduc-
tor had to tell him this wasn't Sleep
ing car. Then the conductor said:
''Oh pshaw.' as some very wicked con-
ductors will say. and reaching his hand
into the young mans pocket, he drew
forth the ticket, in one time and two
motions.
" You didn't give me check" the
young man said, as the busy conductor
passed on.
you're right I didn't" replied the
cruel man. II might want to see it
again some time. I'll remember you"
Then the young man said TO the pass
ing brakeman:
''How far are we from Amesp'
''Ninety-eight miles"
''When do we get there?"
-Four forty-five. y
Then the young man sighed. He
opened his valise and took out a roll of
manuscript and tried to read. Then he
took out a, book and tried to read that.
Then he took out tablet and pencil
and tried to write, but he hadn't got
there yet. Then the new, tall, shiny
silk hat caught his eye; he picked it up,
looked at the rack and set it down again,
on the other end this time. Then we
said to the conductor, who was coming
back:
.'How far is il to Ames?"
''About ninetY-five miles"
''When d" we get there?"
-Four forty-five."
The young man went down in his
boots and fetched up sigh they might
have heard all along the line of the Chi
cago & Northwestern. He opened up
his case of manuscript again and took a
pull at eight or ten pages OF it, but he
| didn't seem TO like it. He tried the
book awhile and then with a sudden
start turned to his new high slick silk
hat There was about a pint of cinders
in it. He closed the window. emptied
his hat and put it down On the paper
again, ''left in front -
| SO the miles flew away. Every time
the whistle blew he asked somebody il
that was Ames. Every fifteen minutes
| he asked how far it was to Ames and
when we got there. When we were
| only about an hour and twenty-five
miles away he began to pack things
| back into his valise. He made critica
examination of lot Of white ties ano
some of the newest collars and cuffs
ever saw in all my life. He finally
locked the valse and sat still. Sudden
ly he started, as though he had beer
shot, and went into that valise and
hauled out his manuscript, founC
certain pages and read them over
Then he brushed his new high slick sill
hat and put it on, tail gate forward
Then he turned it around and put or
his gloves He looked at his watch
He sighed several times. About sever
or eight times minute, think. When
at last, the long whistle blew for Ames
he gathered his vaise and stood up, hal
mile from the narrow gauge crossing
Then | said to him:
''For what association do you lectur,
In Ames to o-night?'
He looked 80 proud and happy, blush
ing to his ears, that was pleased witt
myself.
..For the Y. NJ. C. A." he said
''How did you know itP Who told yo,
was lecturer"
"You did," said. "You told me al
about it..
And he was so amazed he forgo
where he was and would have beeI
carried by If the committee hadn't com
aboard to look for him. -Burdctte, 1,
Brook'Un EGqie.