The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1884-11-07

The Humorest at q Concert-He Describes
the Effect Of an Un~announced Bolt OF

bAg &AAAW0b W 800 ~ ~
Jove.
Bill Nye writes in tie New York
Mercury: Last week we went up to the
Coliseum at Minneapolis to hear Theo-
dore Thomas orchestra, the Wagner
trio and Christine Nilsson. The Coils
cum is q large rink just outside OF
Minneapolis, on the road between that
city and st. Paul. IL can seat 1000
people comfortably, but the manage
ment likes to wedge $500 people in
there on a warm day, and then watch
the perspiration trickle out through the
clapboards on the outside. On the clos
ing afternoon, during the matinee per
Torrance, the building was struck by
lightning and q hole knocked out of
the Corinthian duplex that surmount:
the oblique portcullis on the off side.
The reader will see at once the 10.
cation of the bolt. The lightning
struck the flagstaff, ran down the
leg of a man who was repairing
the electric light, took q chew of his to-
bacco, turned hir boot wrong side out
and induced him to change his sock,
toyed with a chilblain, wrenched out q
soft corn and roguishly put it in his ear,
and then ran down tho electric-light
wire, apart of it filling an engagement
in the Coliseum and the balance follow
ing the wire to the depot, where it made
double-pointed toothpicks of the pole
fifty feet high. All this waS done very
briefly. Those who have seen lightning
toy with q cottonwood tree know that
this fluid makes a speciality OF it at
once and in a brief manner. The light
ening in this case broke the glass in the
skylight and deposited the broken
fragments on a half dozen parqueS chairs
that were empty because the specta-
tors who owned them couldn't get but
$50 apiece, and were waiting for a man
to mortgage his residence and sell q
team. He couldn't make a transfer in
time for the matinee, SO the seats were
vacant when the lightning struck. The
immediate and previous fluid then shot
athwart the auditorium in the direction
of the platform, where it nearly fright
ened to death q large chorus of children.
Women tainted, ticket spectators fell
So on desirable seats, and strong
men coughed up a Glove. The
scene beggared description. i intended
to have said that before, but forgot it.
Theodore Thomas drew in q full breath,
and Christine Nilsson drew her salary.
Two thousand strong men thought of
their wasted lives, and two thousand
women felt for their back hair to see if
if it was still there. i say, therefore,
without successful contradiction, that
the scene beggarded description.
In the evening several people sang
"The Creation" Nelson was Gabriel.
Gabriel has o beautiful voice, cut low
in the neck, and sings like a joyous
bobolink in the dew saturated mead.
How;s that? Nilsson is proud and
naughty in her demeanor, and j had q
good notion to send a note up to her
saying that she needn't feel SO lofty, and
If she could sit up in the peanut gallery
where l was, and look at herself with
her dress kind of sawed off at the top,
she would not be so vain. She wore q
diamond necklace and silk skirt. The
skirt was cut princess, L think, to har-
monize with her salary. As an oldneigh-
Dor of mine once said when he painted
the top board of his fence green, he
wanted it ''to kind of corroborate with
his blinds He's the same man who
went to Washington about the time of
the Guiteau trial and said he was pres
emit at the "post-mortise" examination.
But the funniest thing of all, he said,
was to see Dr.. Mary Walker riding
of those philosophers around on the
streets.
But / am wandering. We were speak
ing of the festival. Theodore Thomas
is certainly q great leader. What q
pity he is out of politics. He pounded
the air all up fine there Thursday. I
think he had twenty-five small sizedfd-
dies, ten medium sized, and five of these
big fat ones, that a bald-headed mar
generally enjoys. Then there was o lot
of wind instruments, drums, etc. There
were six hundred performers on the
stage counting the chorus, with 4,500
people in the house. and 5000 outside
yelling at the ticket office-also at the
top of their yoices-and swearing be-
cause they couldn't mortgage their inn
mortal souls and hear Missions coin
silver notes. 1t was frightful. The
building settled twelve inches in those
two hours and a half. the electric lights
went out nine times for refreshments,
and on the whole the entertainment was
q grand success. The first time the
lights adjourned an usher came in on
the stage through q side entrance with
q kerosene lamp. I guess he would
have stood there and held it for Nilsson
to sing by if 1880 people hadn't with
one voice laughed him out into the STAR
less night. You might IS well have
tried to light benighted Africa with a
white bean. I shall never forget how