davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-12-11
He Didn't Collect che Till.

There is a woman residing on Crog-
han street VINO has been owing
downtown firm a matter OF Sl4 for
three or four years past. One collector
after another has worked every sort
of game to get hands ON the money.
but in vain. To one the window was
..up the lakes" 10 another gone South
for her consumption to third would
uay next week, and soft talk or
threats failed to reduce the amount by
one single cent. The other day
collector, noted for his cast-iron cheek
and silver-plated perseverance, took
the bill with the understanding that
he was to have half for collecting. He
gained admittance to the house under
pretense that he was acensus-taker. and
when ne inquired for the widow was told
to walk up stairs. He had assembled
about half way, when a voice command
ed him to stop, and he discovered the
widow and an old bureau at the top
step. The widow was behind the
bureau, being evidently about to ''tote"
it down stairs
what do you want?n she asked.
"Ahem- well---I called. madam, to-
To-"
80 whatpn
"About IA little bill. madam.
Cant pay it this week"
"But, madam this bill has stood for
several"
Cant pay it, | say. and I'm getting
awful tired of holding this bureaur'
Madam, the bill is for $14 If you
could pay me half to-day would call
next"
Cant hold it more thaa 4 minute
moren' she interrupted.
while our house aims to deal in the
most lib"
She let 90 of the bureau, and his
first jump landed him in the hall. He
was about a second ahead of the
furniture rs he shot out the open front
door, but it caught mp with him on the
step and took a heel of his boot and
rolled him over on the grass. He
thought the bureau would stop there,
but il didn't 1t pursued him down
to the gate, humping his back at every
Jump. and he thought ne was half a
mile away before the knobs and casters
quit whizzing past his ears. Detroit
Free Press.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-12-11
How a Fan was Conhscated.

The other day gentleman in pass
ing through the Niagara Falls country
bought a feather fan, for which he paid
So. On his way to this city the rail-
road conductor informed him that he
would have to pay n duty of 81 % to
the custom officials at Detroit, which
news was received with surprise, some
what spiced with Indignation. As he
pondered over the matter he observed
that the conductor was watching him
closely, and concluded that he was
acting to u certain extent rs ''spotter
for the customs officials. al wanted TO
down that conductor, y said the gentle
man in relating the incident, land
watching my chance | took the fan out
of the box and wrapped the box, empty,
I'D again just as | had received 1t.
linen l put the open fan carefully I'M
der the lining to my overcoat. Pres
emily. when | was sure the conductor
was looking at me / wrapped the box
up in my overcoat. When | got on the
boat to cross the river | was conscious
that the conductor had posted the
customs man and so was not surprised
when the official walked up to me and
taking my overcoat unwrapped it let
ting the fan box fall out How much
for the fan, says he. Three dollars,
says |. The duty is 81 So he con-
tinued and l responded with, Not
much!' He allowed that he had no
alternative, he must confscate the box
and fan, and that / could get it at the
customs office by calling and paying
the duty. So let him take it, and for
all care, he is welcome to the box. y
Detroit Free Press.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-12-11
Thousands Say So.

Mr.. I. w. Atkins, Girard, Kan,
writes: 81 never hesitate to recon-
mend your Electric Bitters 10 my
customers. They give entire salts
faction and are rapid sellers" Elec-
trio Bitters are the purest and best
medicine known and will positively
cure kidney and liver complaints,
purify the blood and regulate the
bowels. No family can afford to be
without them They will save hun
dreds of dollers in doctors bills
every year Sold at fifty cents {
bottle by G. r. Moffett
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-12-11
RuckIen's Arnica saive.

The BEST SALvE in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever
Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chllblains
Corns, and all skin Eruptions, and positively
cures Piles, or no pay required. 1t is guaran-
teed to give perfect satisfaction, or money re-
funded. Price p cents per box. For Sale By
{. r. Moffett. 3l-y
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
The Future OF Our Earth.

II the force at the back Of all growth,
all complexity. and all change on earth
is that which the sun has steadily sup
piled to it through countless ages, and
still supplies, it is plain that when this
force fails, as fail it one day must,
there will be a steadily declining de-
velopment and rapidly increasing de-
generation OF things, an undoing BY
regrcssivc decomposi'ions OF what has
been done by progressive combinations
through the succession of the ages
The disintcgrating process may be ex
pected to take effect first upon the high
est products OF evolution, and to reach
in deepening succession the low, lower
and lowest organizations and organic
compounds. The nations that have
risen high in comp'cxi,y of develop
ment willsdeteriorate and be broken
mp. TO have their places taken by less
complex associations 0f inferior indi.
vidnals; these in turn will yield place
to simpler and fccblcr unions OF still
more degraded beings; species after
species Of animals and plants will first
degenerate and then become extinct as
the worsening conditions Of life render
Il impossible for them to continue the
struggle for existence; q few scattered
families Of degraded human beings,
living. perhaps, In snow huts near tho
equator very much as Esquimanx live
NOW near the pole viii represent tho
last Wavc Of the receding tide Of hn-
man existence before its Anal extinc-
ton; until at last 4 frozen aarili, in-
capable Of cultivation, is left without
energy 10 produce living particle Of
any sort, and SO death itself is dead. =
MaNs,s'ey III III and M
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
Painfully Embarrassed.

A stranger who got into the Union
Depot yards yesterday while trying to
find the railroad ferry slip. would have
been run down by one of numerous
switch locomotives had not man at
work In the hour sheds seized him and
pulied him of Of the sracxe The stran-
ger was greatly confused and shaken
up for a moment, but after he had taxi
en- seat on the platform and got his
breath he called out:
''My man, that was nobly done! !
expect you can make uso of 5000 In
cash?"
''Well, perhaps.
The stranger brcathcd heavily,
rubbed his arm, and after minute
continues:
''Yes, feel just like making you
present of a thousand dollars. ]"
This was painful reduction from
his first observation, but it wasn't for
the 1our-roller to find fault He
brushed away at the strangers hat 10
get the dust of, and as ho handed it
over he was informed
II think you would know where to
put 500 if you had it, eh?"
Il want nothing. sir. You were in
danger, and pulled you away"
But shall insist upon your accept
ing something. You certainly saved
nv life. and shouldn't begrudge
$25."
He got out his wallet which was
crowded full OF bills. and as he handed
them over he rcmarked:
s'Ten dollars would buy your wife
. dress, and every time she wore it you
could think OF me-"
'.Ycs, SIR"
The bill came out but was quickly
replaced, and after minute spent in
some mental calculation the stranger
all at once handed out 81 bill with
the observations:
.Hcrc. my man. go and get you .
new hat, and rest assured shall ever
be grateful 10 you."
Then il was seen that the laborer was
painfully embarrassed. He shifted from
one leg to the other, looked up and
down the shed. and when asked the
trouble he replied:
'.Pleasc. sir. but havn't you any
small change about youp l think q
quarter would be plenty Of reward for
saving your life.
"A quarter! Well, considering the
railroad company pays you for the time
you were hauling me around, maybe
that's enough. Here it is. and hope
you will make good use of it. guess
can get down to the slip all right
from here. but If you happen to save
my life again you can look for half y
dollar at least. Detroit Free Press.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
A Rowing People.

Arab girls have little to do with &c.
lecting their husbands. The men nearly
always fix that up among themselves.
A bold warrior sees q girl whom he
loves in another tribe. He rides up at
night, fluids out where she is slce,,ing.
dashes up to her tent, snatchcs her up
in his arms, places her Ee;oro him
on the horse and sweeps ~ ike the
wind. If he happens 10 i.e ~, lit he
is shot. II he is not, the iioc from
which he stole the girl pass bm y visit
in u few days. The dervisli. priest Of
the tribe, joins the hands of the ;oung
man and the girl, and both tribes Join
in the merriment. All the bravest
men steal their wives, but there are
some who do not. Their method is q
lit Il. different. OF calm, moonlight
night-snd moonlight in the tropics is
1nrsmU1S Asus~sif~l AAesl- l>~se p1s.s "a, . =
see an Arab sitting before thesfent Of
his inamorata picking stringcd instru-
ment something like banjo and sing
ing song of his own composition.
This is his courtship. They are the
most musical people in The world.
They talk in poetry, and extemporiza-
ton is as easy with them as it was with
the Scalds of old. If the girl is obsti-
nate he goes elsewhere and seeks TO
win another girl with his songs and
music. Sometimes the fathers make
up the match, but always the girl is the
obedient slave. Her religion, her peo-
pie, her national instincts. the tradi.
tions of her ancestors, all teach her to
be the slave of her husband. The pow
er of life and death is in his hands, and
she bows before his opinions with the
most implicit obedience. 1t is only
when the fair faced Frank comes with
his glib talk of woman's highest duties
and grander sphere. with his winning
manner. with his marked respect, SO
fattering 10 woman's soul that she
leaves her husband, fcrsakes the teach
ings of her childhood. gives up home
and friends, and risks death itself to
repose in his arms. They are as fine
riders as the men, and as fearless.
They can go almost any distance with.
out fatigue. They are fine shots and
don't know what personal fear is.
The women of these people are mod
est and more faithful than the women
OF civilized countries. Indeed, It's the
rarest thing in the world to hear of
copjugal intidelity. The women ma
ture ut II and II, and are old at IS.
When young they arc very beautiful.
They have soft, dark skin, flowing hair.
and soft, languishing eyes. They are
passionate in their loves, but after mar
riage all their affection is centered in
their husbands. If . woman is found
TO be untrue to her husband she is in
stantly killed, together with her lover.
But this seldom happens. Col. De
Funk, in Louisville Courier Journal.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
L.cwellyn Powers, OF Maine, owns
l40. 600 acres Of timber land.
The Fashions In China.

Tho habit Of initiating even servilely
the fashion set by those in high places.
although responsible for many absurdi-
ties, is not, says the Pail MGl Gazette,
altogether without its compcnsationA
It was no doubt unfortunate that when
the Empress Eugenie cut her hair
across her forehead from sorrow of the
heart the women OF i've continents
should initiate her, until the ''bAng'
became universal, but it would be well
for the Chinese women If they would
be moro ready 10 follow nm imperial
example. The cruel custom of foot
binding, for instance. to which female
children are submitted directly after
they are born, Is strictly forbidden ii
the imperial palace. but the habit stih
prevails among the people To sup
press the unnatural practice. the Church
Missionary Society have decided TO ex-
clt1de all girls from Christian instruc-
tion un!css the parents consent TO un-
bind their feet How far II is in ac-
corslsnco with the principles Of the
Christian religion 10 refuse q teAch
Christianity TO those who refuse "a
abandon the fashions of their ancestorS
need mot here be cOnsidorud. but oa
this principle what psInishment ought
to be indicted on Msmen of civilized
countries who voluntarily undergo ~
Other and almOss - hAteful Kind a.
foot-btnding without escn tl1e excuse o&
HAVING received II Al A hefl 2e from
The s
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09

The 5000 lawyers Of New York City
embrace many ranks, classes and con-
iiiions. Less than one-half the num-
Der enjoy competency, but there are
many who make immense sums every
year. Some of the ..shyster" lawyers
men who know nothing of law and
practice only in the Police Courts
realize as much as $4,000 year.
Dickerson s. Dickcrson, patent attor-
neys, have made $1,000. 600. Their
present income is $40,0 ayear. Fred.
erick w. Belts, also q patent lawyer,
has an annual income of $4,000. Ros-
coe Conkling probably makes elO0. 600
year. The firm Of which William NJ.
Evarts is a member--Evarts, South
mayd & Choatc--do business Of $780,.
600 year. Mr.. Evarts Is supposed to
be worth about half a million. David
Dudley Field has made $ll, 600. 600 out
of his profession. In the Tweed suits
he received fee of 100000 Lord,
Day & Lord received fee of $l85. 600
in the Hicks-Lor1 suit. Their income
is about &65. 600. General Roger A.
Pryor started in New York after the
war without asdollar, and now has an
income of $4,000 The Condert
Brothers do large practice for for
eigners, and make 500, 900 a year.
The most thoroughly eloquent and
effective speeches ever made in the
Texas Legislature" says the Fort
Worth Gdzetts, ''were pronounced by
two negroes. and both were Of the same
general import--a slaves devotion to
.old marster and misstiss.' the fol-
lowing is an extract from one of these
speeches. "There can be no great race
enmity between us. This cannot come
while my old marster and misstiss live.
No nor while their children and mine
survive. They were kind aud generous
to me. knew no want Of to-day or
care for the morrow when was their
property. Look at these wrinkled
rough hands. They tell the tale. They
tell how toiled for them. Aud the
story is not ended. They are old and
helpless now, and live rs once did, in
little cabin, and still toll for them.
l send them half Of every dollar draw
from the State Treasury. and when
their daughter, beautiful and good
girl, whom ! used to carry when she
was a child in these strong arms, was
married not long ago, l sent her
check for 81 900. Have not the right
to ask you, gentlemen Of the majority,
to deal generously with my race?'
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
NUMBER 22.
About Coughs and Colds.

Coughs and colds are prevalent now,
especially among children, too often
from the ignorance or carcie ssness Of
their elder guardians. Many mothers
appear to accept with resignation the
repeated and violent colds from which
their children suffer as providential
and unavoidable A cold is by no
means always due to exposure. Indi-
gestion, constipation, lack of scrupu-
lous cleanliness, the unwise habit of
sleeping IN mach OF the clothing worn
during the day, unaired bedchamber
all. or any Of these things may have
far more to do with your child's
tendency to cold than the keenest
breath of the bracing winter air. And
in a great measure these things are un-
der your control. Mothers should un-
derstand that this is fact, whether
they can see how it is or not, that nu.
merous sUre rhIUaIs~ ssfsxt -xOtsAy usus 4. =
rectly traceable to indigestion and die.
te,ic errors. Quantities of greasy food,
fried meats, pastry, and the like, ill-vcn-
tilated rooms, and continued consiipa-
ton. have to answer for many cases Of
Group and putrid sore throat. All
these things weaken. the system and
render it far less able to resist CHANGES
Of temperature. Give every bedroom
a thorough airing every day, more es-
pecially ii several children are obliged
10 sleep together. or with their parents.
This is TO be avoided, if possible; If
not always lower the window slightly
from the top--or, il this cannot be done,
raise it from below. There is frequent-
ly bad air enough generated and
trea:hed in the sleeping apartment OF
family with small children to supply
them all not only with colds but with
number Of SO called "malarious" dis
eases. to last year, perhaps longer.
Neglect of bathing is another prolific
source of colds. A child from 5 to 10
years old should certainly receive an
entire bath twice a week In winter. A
warm bath at night, taking especial
care to avoid any chill after, will fire..
quently break up sudden cold. Keep
children from playing in chilly, unused
rooms in autumn and winter weather.
Let them play out of doors as much rs
possible, taking care to have their feet
warm and dry. A flannel suit and
rubber ovarshoes will frequently save
much cough medicine and doctors bills.
Keep them warmly clad, but do not be
content with thick coats and worsted
hoods. while short skirts barely cover
the knees, leaving the limbs chilled
Mrs. Lucy Rando f'h, IN An,e, ican Ag-
rtcuAu'tot.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
How John is Learning.

While the wind. from Harlem River
vas making an seolian harp OF tho col
umns of the elevated railway China
man stood in the One Hundred and
Twenty-ninth Street Station of the
Third Avenue Road, clad in the airy
profusion of his national costume.
Time passed and 50 did the trains;
and the dimiDutive nose of the GU leless
Chinese became successfully red, blue
and purple in color. A train from City
Hall at last rolled into the station. A
smile that was glowing in its bright
ness illuminated the features of the
Chinaman. With that nonchalance. In
matters where time is involved, which
character.zes the Orientais. he saun-
tered towards the gates OF the train.
But the signal for starting had rung
and the brakeman slammed the gate
in the Chinaman's face.
An expression of painod surprise
passed over the CLinaman's features
He made no sound. but with pas seu
heeier he placed his right hand in its
most compact shape upon the nose Of
the brakeman. with sutii rient empha-
SIS TO make that rhy observe:
"Ye numbering haythen! I'll kill
ye-ye long clawed rat ay;er!'
The misery and disgrace of being
s;racl by Chinaman without its be-
ing in his power to return the blow with
interest seemed to overwhclm the man.
Although the trail was moving rapid!y
away IRON the station, he opened the
gate, jumped off the train and made
dash at his assailant. But the "nay-
then" had been trained in the right
school, for he caught the man about
the waist turned MIN completely up-
side down and bumped his head on tho
station door with grin OF malicious
pleasure. There was n groan from the
brakeman, rush by the spectators on
the Chinaman. but he, with wisdom
beyond his country, boarded a train
leaving the station and was borne
away.
A reporter suggested as the victori-
Gus Chinaman entered the car that he
had evidently satisfied the mans do
sire to tight. A placid and contentcd
smile stole over his face as he an
swercd:
'.sss. belly much. Me gctec wife.
She show me how TO tightee. N r
Tribune
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
An Honest Verdict.


A man had met a girl in = lonely place
and forcioly kissed her. Shc was terri
bly, indignant, and had him arrested
Sac gave an account on the witness
stand OF how he gazcd at her intently.
and then, suddenly throwing his arms
around her. imprinted kiss upon her
lips. The prisoner made no d tense,
and the jury was expected TO promptly
convict hlm OF assault. They returned
to The courtroom. 1.-The ju-ju-iury
w-w-would like 10 ask tho young lady
Two questions" the foreman said. The
Judge consented, and she went on the
stand. "D-d-did sou wear the iii r
sey that you've g-g-got on now?"
Eyes, sir.' was the demure reply.
''And w-w-was your h:.-ha-iiair BIB
banged like that?'' Yes. sir. Then.
your honor. we acquit tho p-p-prisoner
on the gronnd ot unconventional i'm
sanity. San Francisco Post.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-04-09
Ohio River Philosophy.

Soap don't cost rs much as dia-
monds. but lots o people don't seem to
be able to afford both.
A man that needs 40 cents worth of
whisky to give him an appetite for
l5-cent dinner always has the dyspcp-
sia.
never feel comfortable when there's
. man around that smiles all tho time.
The only dog that bit me never stop
ped waggin' his tail.
Wen see 4 felier siftin' two quarts
OF ashes an smokin' 10-cent cigar at
ono time. know he'll get rich because
he's SO ckonomical.
You show me man that's allus
workin' in politics an I'll show you
one that gets darncd sight more and
better 10 eat than his wife and children
do.
don't often ask riddles, but wot do
you think family Is likely to have for
week. spends - for beer. ~ for cigars
and buys rafile ticket?
There's great deal Of talk about
folks killin' themselves BY oyerwork.
There's more people struck By light
min. Most snch critters work eight
hours day, an dance, drink or play
poker ten more. Then, wen they break
down, their wivcs put on the tombstone
Died Of Oyerwork.
You can't rely on signs. Lots ~
folks say that i man With big ear1 =
generous and stupid. Wen 7 Nass =
boy went to cirkis. snd they M ! =
liffla na,Y1A M hi0Uer fham 4 far.ytnAkna