davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
A SMOKING MONKEY

IT. @. Burton secretary Para Rubber CoDlpGny.-A most
ingenious made by the French in the con-
structon OF mechanical and automatic toys What
can be more amusing than this smoking monkey
He Is endowed by his creator with seven
motions He opens his mouth winks
and pulls with much apparent enjoyment at this cigar
ette Observe that he inhaes the smoke and pufs It ont
through his nose mere matter of internal bellows II
wind this up he win show his teeth and take to his
heels I'm way quite natural SO with this robin that
hops with lifeke motion. Ny peacock steps of
at stately gait and spreads splendid tail as he goes
Here Hop Sing. the laundryman FIJI his mouth with
cologne press this rubber and he expes 1t In line spray
We had bird charmer recently which sold for $500
The figure apparently addressed the bird with eloquent
gestures and the bird responded with burst of song
This rubber girl plays for five minutes at a
piano when she is wound up The value of the material
for these purposes its indestruotibty one rubber
doll will outwear a family of her weaker sisters.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
HORSE THAN RIT.S.

1t ia n pity that Mrs. butcher was not made
coward by conscience, since in that case sne
would have rather borne the ills she had than
fly to others that she knew not of. But being
troubled by rats, which bored holes through her
floors she, in rash hour had recourse 10
plumbers She might as well have called in the
cholera to cure a toothachc! They came
They poured hot tar down the rat-holes, with
iicndish imbccility of which plumbers alone
could be capable Then, when they found that
they had stained the ceilings and walls of the
rooms below, they procured benzine, and pro-
ceeded to explode it and set the house on fire,
ultimately causing loss of several thousand
dollars. Perhaps now Mrs. butcher thinks the
worst is over, but if so she little knows the
race of plumbers. Presently they will send in
their bill. and then, and not till then will she
know what anguish is. She has lost her furni
turc while the rat-holes remain She nearly
lost her life also But it seems that plumb
er's assistant was Injured by the explosion, and
if Mrs. butcher has good health, and ple-
thoric bank account, and ability 70 earn large
income from now till the end of her life, she
may possibly succeed in paying for that dam
aged plumber They come very high, how
ever, and the matter is doubtful.
There is Of course n large aud conspicuous
moral hanging on to this true story. II is, TO
bear anything rather than invite the destroyer
of healtls land water pipes into the home
circle In Oriental countries the people have
learned through much oppression to conceal all
evidences of wealth They live in houses which
present merely blank walls to the street They
avoid parade abroad II ia to bc feared that we
shall all br brought to the same methods before
long that the Amgican householder will bc
compelled to hide the leak IN HE pipcp, Tho lis
sntc IN his boiler the invasona aud Iniuiica or
the moldnnl midnight iat luai hp phoui call
down upon his devoted head the predatory nnd
iuhlehs plumber, who, with hot tar volatile
hcnaine, aud tho awful ensuing hil carries
desolallon, hre-alarm and bankruptcy wherever
ho goes.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
4 HINT TO THE pRouIBITToNIsTs.

IT r. Kirk Pleasant Valley Wne Company
neope know or consider the extent Of thc grape growing
Industry I'm New York. Onr company crashes over Two
thousands tons OF grapes every year Last season the
crop I'm western NewYork neither a. large nor as
good s In previous years As to the temperance ques
ton II IS my unbiased opinion that Its agtaters have
cot hold OF the least efficient end Of the lever III the
money that Is used spread the gospel of Prohibition
were applied to enforce the present laws against the
adulteration Of liquors, to enact II need be more
stringent ones. the evils complained Of would be half
bated Crusades and fanatic outcries have operated to
Increase the traffic and strengthen it In the hands OF men
Indifferent TO public opinion and their business reputa
ton This Is why much passes for liquor thaI Is
simply the rankest poison.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
atbtFvINtr lvfgrvfNrs

The R0jiisB tadi wants ~ abolish uut New
Noib hoanl nf Aldermen We cannot too earnestly
condemn anv movement locking te the abolition "
any mrfp oi ihp peoples luuippa &c entertainment,
so avon ~ any Interference With ihph lis
tendency on tho part ut riesaic ani eNef-pfaeueal
Nnds has gone much toe Tar already i'efhaps
there Was some excuse rur stopping tho SUNDAY con-
ceris in the park, hut a similar otieouon canuot he
urged ainsi the Board of Aldemen, Their perform
ances are given exclusively on woek-days. II seems
almost certain that We are entering upon year of
severe business depression, when the problem OF
living is llkoly to be attended with much more than
IT'S usual embmrassments. Every encouragement
should therefore be lent to schemes that are cacu-
ted TO Tighten the public gloom.
The proceedings OF the Board of Aldermen are n
constant and prolific source of amusement. The
ennobllng art of which that eminent B0stOnlan,
Mr.. Sullivan. Is the leading apostle. has recently
received an ominOus check Mr.. Berghs Society
will not permit us the luxury of bull-bgbts. The
outlook for classical entertainment is not. there
fore at all promising. The public is in no mood to
consider the abo itIon of anything that tends to
cheer and enliyen the city, and to divert attention
from the commonplace details of life.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
AnLlGR1M WANTED.

The most extraordinary piece of advice which has
been rendered Mr. Cleveland since his election
emanates from the lips of Mr. William &. DE Witt,
of BROOKLYN. Just listen To De Witt:
Let him lClcvolandl extrlcate himself from the on
tancment OF the past and turning away from the shad-
and the night through which his Nation has been
Travelling, like them lift his eyes
Toward the East
tho finCinR desert or the SKY,
Are laid m jasper stones ~ clear az glass.
The nrst fOunlatl.is Of that new. near day,
Which II to be builded out OF Heaven unto God"
Nlr. DE Wits meaning is not altogether clear,
but he doubtless meant well. If by the new,
near day, which is to be bulded out of Heaven,
unto God" he meant to signify the Democratic res
toration why then 1t is obvions that he dreadfully
overdid it. And why should Cleveland lift his eyes
toward the East"i TO be sure Burchard lives In
the East, but Ccveland's main reliance during tho
campaign was on tho South. Mr.. Hendricks would
doubtless suggest that the President-elect should
lift his eyes toward the West. say in tho neghbor-
hood of Indiana. Mr. Cleveland declined a likely
Newfoundland pup that came from Brooklyn, and
doubtless hc will decline this piece of Brooklyn
advice In the absence of a diagram showing just
what 1t means.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
nrTrER TIMES COMING.

r r. Dennfng d,y goods.-Iard times VIII not be
made easier by talking. For my part. am rapidly
Incoming a conv ert to hopeful views They have
saving down town, you know, that when everybody Is
talking bearish 1t is good time to get on the long
side That was one OF Mr. Stewarts feyorlte theories
aud he applied It with great success to his business one
effect Of the changing times Ia to bring the employer
into clnser relation with hls subornstes and with the
ipe and detail Of hs business lie has stepped ont Of
bis nrlvae o1re anl ia on the floor IN the midst of
thinss breach Of trust 10 the natural outcome of over
confidence Opportunity Ia the foelnshouse OF fraud
s riot Ia found IN vanity snd the desire of man to Scent
n,o,e than ha Ia partner and nut hep clefh w
house. tho ohly hel 0f teh uncle IA well IA the seee
tat, al a piuap putpnthtiuh
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
TALKS ABOUT TOWN.

DULL TIMES on THE PACIFIC SLOPE.
EdIcard NclctdH merchant San francisco Trade lags
badly on the Pacific Slope. Beginning with the farmer
who s boarding his grain for higher prices the dulnos
extends the small tradesIuan who will not increase his
stock, and TO the wholesale merchant and manu-
faeturer and those whom they employ Hydraulic min
ing after working incacuable damage to the farming
lands of this state has been put end TO by statute
But that alone used yield twenty millions year and
employ an army OF labOrcrs think there is tendency
among to eXaggerate the effect Of change of admin
stration look for revival of business and confidence
In the spring, stimulated it may be by the NewOrleans
Exhibition
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
MR.. SEYMOUR ON me CANALS

In another column of to-day's TRIBrNE
lloratio Seymour discusses the resolution which
Mr.. lliscock lately introduced in Congress-
relative to the canals of this State. The i'm
portance of the subject and Mr.. Scymour's
entire familiarity with it render the views he
expresses of exceptional interest. Our pcople
once more are confronted with the problem,
what shall be done with the canals Shall
the present free policy be continucd7 Or shall
there be a return to tollsY Shall the canals be
abandoned, or, If continued, shall they bc
enlarged? Shall New York continue to own
them, or shall they be turned over to the Gen
eral Government Shall steam be substituted
for horse power and shall railroad tracks be
laid OH the canal banks Such are the conflict
ing questions that are now being agitatcd anew
by those interested in these great public works
And certainly if New-York is to retain her
commercial supremacy they must be answered
wisely.
The following is the full text of Mr. IIscoclts
resolution:
BE aresoired, etc., That Joint committee Of eight
members of the next Congress be appointed 20 consist
OF five Representatives be appointed by the Speaker OF
this House. and three Senators to be appointed by tho
President of the Senate; said committees shall confer
with a committee OF like power appointed by the Legis
lature OF the of NewYork and with the Governor
and other State officials of said State IN regard to the
maintenance Of the canals thereof and ascertain said
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
% Australia. He will spend about a year In Aust,.,,
writing series Of letters for publication in London

% australia He Will spend about a year In Aust,s,.
"rhg series OF letters for publication In London
Colonel Prejevasky has had to fight his way freou.,.
In his Thbetan explorations. and occasions hs
says his expedition wond hare been annihated by th
savage Tangus had II not been for Vigorous woyt ~
his companions with their Berdan rifles W
Philip Armour the great pork dealer pos lar.s
and valuable library, to which he Is constantly addI,.
with lavish but judiclous hand
The wives OF the Supreme Court Justices are
In Washington usual Mondays, with the exesn,o,
Of Mrs Harlan and Mrs Matthews who will not receive
THIS season, and Mrs Batchf0rt, who will not On ~
Washington until next month.
Professor John Stuart Blackie ia enthusiastic ov..
inuslc especially sometimes" he SAYS uish
myself back IN the Middle Ages. when the minstre wa.
the only teacher and when singing almost the onv
sermon. And will tell you why: reading Is s,upS
dull kind OF thing but singing srs up the whole so,,
In the best days Of the world there no ana
no books at all. Homer never book never cor,a
have seen book. think great deal too ,oa,,
books. great number OF people become mere reas,,.
machines having no living functions at ALL would Iite
some time to give you lecture on the logic Of educa
ton. 1t simply that you must learn TO use vou
legs. your arms, your ears. your tongues and your
hroatseycry part OF your soul and your boiy-ra,ha,
than be crammed up with all sorts OF things and the,
measured with red tape by gentleman from Ionion
Especially II you wish 30 he happy cultivate song am
creatures Under the sun ut this moment; aud my auuse
ment IL 10 sing songs. In railway coaches otIer
Well. whatever may be said about that II is not pe-
lectual or moral stmnlant, and the flavor Of II IA
not at all like the rose, or any poetic thing know II N
essentially vulgar sort OF amusement My ma
Il to sing songs. At Lone am always singing Scotch
songs; and abroad, when those wretches smoking
hum to myself, scots wha hae' mans man Tor a
that and songs OF that kind l advise You TO do ths
same Your soul will become singing bird, and then
the devil won't get near IT,
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20

The discussion in 'lnr TRIBrNr a week ae"
to-day in regard TO ooyerpressure III the cohih"h
schools has reused Commissioners William
Wood to reply to Commissioner DeV"e' MI
Wood experience has been large, ANA II II has
moi had n softening effect upon his temper II ~
least enables him to make spirited answer 10
his fellow member of the Board OF Education
lie can bear good deal but criticism ON the
Normal College is too much for Mr. Wood ana
he declares that the students are not over
worked there, nor in the highest grades OF the
grammar schools. Therefore, he argues, thcy
are not admitted to the Normal college too
Young. II strikes us as just possible that some
of the evil effects of oversudy upon the young
women in the Normal College might not be per
ccivcd until after they had passed beyond MIR.
Woods observation and in that case his asSer-
tions are too strong. In one respect Mr.. wood
agrees with Mr.. Devoe-in thinking that the
age at which children should be sent to school
should be SIX instead of five years. 1t is
beautiful thing to see brother commissioners
dwell together in unity even on one point out
Of about fifty.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20

The result of the first weeks travel on the Bridge
under the reduced tolls is hardly satisfactory The
receipts were nearly 81 per cent less than during
the previous week, when the tolls were about twice
ne high Rnt one week is of course not enough to
test the change. Doubtless many persons who are
compelled TO cross the East River with teams and
wagons have not yet heard of the 90 per cent
reduction AZ this season. too there is naturally
little driving for pleasure across the Bridge. Tho
reduction is n step in the right direction Thus far
the Union Ferry Company has shown no intention
of meeting the cut rates on the Bridge.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
MlNiNu nN rnNNlNfAafa.

Flishe 4 Fucker, eat The goal aohrAhlei must 10
organise their pruseht methods ei anlhs hushes'
think tho lesalt will be another Year mat mlAhE WIZ
lac done ga system of percentages that H. eaeh eoh
many will have determined amount o the whole pro
duetion to ne without time restrictions As IL Is M"
mo- onnpany Is satisfied aud the laborer has many causes
of eon,plant Tho Wholesale trade IL dun- lhe aetna
volume OF business, especially III tho No"-Ens'ahu
states seems to me less even than In 1879 am one OF
those who attribute much of this uncertainty to tho uh'
ev,eeted victory of the OUT" In the last election
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
TEN PAGES.
LIE NEWS THIS NORNING.

ropr,cv-.Jauner the defaulting bank director
y, Vienna committed suicide -- piece ol
srani,e was blown off London Bridge by the recent
cx,losion 60 A new Cuban loan mas "een az
.ar,,oa - The steamer Portia struck on fe-
,r,e,s Iedcc. near Halifax. &C. Bismarck mas
decided 10 take rest from public duties
CoxcRvss.-The Senate insisted upon its ame"u-
,ncut 70 the Temporary Naval Appropriation bill.
- Mr.. George spoke on the Interstate commerce
hill -- The House considered the heagan Inter
state Commerce bill
DoNFsTIc-The weather became somewhat
wilde, in the Northwest. =- The Hudson was
covered with ice above Poughkeepse. GO Ohio
,os,uasters were swindled with raised postal
arders -- The Pitsburg Producers AsSo-
citation purchased part of the Thorn Creek
oil repion 10 close the wells. - / lie
clove factories at Gioversvllle were closed
= lieutenant of police in Cncln-
matt nleoded guilty TO the charge of imprisonlng
co,orod men 10 prevent their voting. -- hIe
occnr,ed i'm the oil wells near Phillips City, Penn
So Mrs Catherine Gabe celebrated her one
bundrcdth birthday near Reading Penn. ==- he
Anthracite Coal Association decided to restrict
prodnction. -== The personal effects OF MIS-. NIL
lard Fillmore were sold in Buffalo
c,rv ,xp SrprnBAN--Ten bodies were found
g., ,ho ruins of the burned Brooklyn Orphan Asv
Inn -= Stephen A. Walker was before the
unard of Estimate aud Appointment. -= ives
levon Alumni al dinner -- William Wool
..,t,as q, MIR ppyoe. = skulls found In gar
rot -- Fire in Gold-st; loss nearly ToO'ooo
.-- Important action bv the Police hoard -
tioid value of the leeatendef silver dollar l4l2's
s,a,ps, as4l cents. -= Stocks after opening
steady suffered sharp decline, and later recovered
a. better ,hah opening isuies anl closed dul ct
nsaf e. beet prices
rHs WfAfHHB=ihibuNt loeal observations ~
aiea,s clear ef fair weather, ana temperature mea=
Grating AZ night OF iosmefiow Temperature Nestei-
dsyl Highest, i7ei lowest, o. average o a
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
amusemeuis o. Might.


xvrp,clN IysrrrUTE-Roler skating
3 es,nT ~, rns Houss-2 and s." AdculS -. raers
CIwrny TuFATRg-2 and g." An Auaim'esS '
Cs,so o and s." Prince Methusaam,
pAlTs TnnArRE-2 ands Morevs "sSSe S Tata Morgana"
EptS nrre. HOUSE and g." For Co%mSpessp % private
SS.nSs,> SQUARE TmArRE-2 ana s:So- i"'
Secretary" 40 .rvroood"
C,s," s,oxI AcApEMY OF DEsIGN-Exhoi''on 0"''"''o
ske.Sn n,, 1,,TRr-2 and g." Fast Lynne" ,cb lang
r.,,, ~, rvr ,rRE-s-" Die Welt, in der man si '
WELT" - o and d" Three Wives TO ono
Huspan,u' I'm, ,,pr-o and s." Victor Durano
w. MnLLsvN svHsrr luF ArRE-2 and s--"Mam en-
Y.@u srpEET THEATRE-2 ana - o''o
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
OCCUPATION FOR CONGRESS.

Cor,pressnan John S. Wise-I cannot SEQ how the
Spanish treaty will be of benefit to the South. There
seems to be no pressing demand for from any quarter
at present So far "a Congress will have enough
to do the regular business of the session Is promptly
transacted and all Of the appropriation bills carefully
considered and passed do not think Congress is called
upon at this time to enact any sweeping tariff Legsla
ton though of course shall be glad TO consider and
act on any bill whchs designed to relieve the strained
condition of trade.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
PERSONAL.

by the Queens command large and handsome ohir
OF polished granite has been placed 10y thc slue VI
private road nj Balm0ral memorial OF the ate DuAo
of Albany That road was one OF hs iay0rlte Walks
Ths suggestive device OF Lord Ronald Covers book
platea pair OF compassos suspended from one arm oil
balance and far outwcigtng his coat OF arms hanging
from the other-was originally adopted by ms patern
ancestor, Thomas Cover, SERGEANT painter 10 Quoon
Elizabeth
Mr. George Augustus sala will deliver fifteen lectures
In this country while crossing this winter on his way
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
HOLIDAY TRADE.

Charies I. Coot, HGmys.-Orters and buyers are as
numerous but purchasers not large as In previous
years this time The general tightening Of purse strings
among those OF large incomes has brought us In con-
tact with representatives Of another class OF buyers
not 80 lavish but in the main profitable and
pleasant to deal with. owing to variety OF causes we
are able lower scale OF expenditure by largo
concessions in the price Of almost every manufactured
article In departments the reduction Is hfty per
ant
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20
stood that the last-named functonary charges
party less than patry per cent on the cost OK
the building.

The bill to provide permanent basis for bank
circulation. which Mr. Buckner introduced on Mon
day is rather too complicated to be readily under
stood either by the Committee of Ways and Means
or by the House. On the face of il, however the
bill involves one serious d culty: il proposes as
basis of circulation new class Of Indebtedness
bearing only two per cent interest the value OF
which in the markets would be exceedingly uncer-
tain. In spite of all the arrangements proposed IN
the bill to give these certificates arbitrary value
thcy would almost certainly drop much below par
If n. any time the prevailing disposition shonld be
to contract National Bank circulation AS that is
likely to be the prevailing disposition. so long ~
Government continues to thrust silver notes into
circulation. the certificates can hardly be con
sidered adequate security for the value of bank
notes.
The Euning Post contains tho intelligence that
the coachman who has driven all the Presidents
since General Grants term was yesterday re-
engaged for the same service under President
Cleveland" Dlr. Curtis and Mr.. Eaton should lose
no time in rcmarkng this fact as a gratifying in
stance of the reform spirit i'll which the new ad
| ninistration is begun.
Frank Hurd being out of political job. 1t IS re-
markable that 40 one has suggested that he apply
|
| tariff question is concerned, more fitting repre-
sentative of the Democratic party could not be Sc
lected for a Cabinet appointment.
| 1" An old friend and admrer" Of Colonel Robert
g. Ingcrsoll reported to have Interrupted one OF
the atter's lectures with the remark cannot re-
main 10 listen to such blasphemy." Colonel lnger-
soil naturally retorted that then he could go out
| This protest of an old friend and adnirer comes
pretty late In the day Everybody in this conn-
try knows just about what be will hear at one OF
| Colonel lngersolls lectures, and ~ go and inter
rupt the performances indicates love of nOtorcty
| rather than love for the Christian religion. The
| beat kind of protest s to stay away aud reduce
| the box Ullce receipts.
The tramp " tho huhsit and thirsty IA spt W
some daeuidahi tunes The Democratic press ipeh's
| with ppiihets lhp' AUGUST ipla0nts elpih lohhN'
"tual uil iilll q" envpl Service leeige' i'elre=
ieun iohnny," and iiesAian hehNfI," II this soft
at thing heers up, uoyernor Cleveland viii want o.
labe to tho woods again, long heloro his Cabinet Is
| completed.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20

iacent country whenever occasion should re-
oure. The new treaty is silent on this import
ant point, but the English precedent indicates
clearly the course the Government wouiu n"V1
to pursue if it became necessary TO oeleh"
either the canal or Nicaragua.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20

It 10 said that Senator Edmnnds is about to build
an elegant house in Washington We counsel him
to pause in his mad career This Is one of the un-
par,lonabe sins IN a Presidential candidate.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20

Adyertisers will oblige us, and secure better
service for themselves, by sending IN adycr-
,isements for TnE SUNDAY TRIBUNE not later
than o'clock the previous evening. Where
large display or special position is desired, they
should be sent earlier still.
New-York tribune., 1884-12-20

The Chldren's Aid Society makes timely
appeal for aid to helpit provide Merry Christ
mas for the children under its care. ConlrIbu-
tions III almost any form would be available.
His must be hard heart to whom such an ap-
peal in biting cold weather like tins does not
come with force.