Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1884-04-24
THE LIME KILN CLUB.
Grafton by the Hon. JaWback John
son.
Free Press.

Free Press.
Il will now remark to dis club" said
Brother Gardner as he opened the meeting,
dat de Hon. Jawback johnson, of Opelika,
hal arrove heah for de purpose OF enter
tainin' an instructin' us ON var'us points.
He reached Detroit two days ago on de
roof of freight car, an in somewhat
carniverOus condition, an as he knocked
on de dOah of my cabin at midnight l
looked frew de winder an put on a par O.
brass knuckles afOre i dared step out an
AK his name an bizness. | has filled him
up wild meat an tater, lent him clean
shirt dat buttons behind, an a suit of
clOze, an | would furder remark dat he
pears to be pussOn of transparent intelli-
gence an resplendent polish. Let US listen
to him wild anxus interest and careless OBJ
servashun.
The committee on reception then dOnned
their white gloves and claw-hammer coats
and disappeared in search of the stranger
They found him shivering with stage fright
in the ante-rOOm, and it was only after
Giveadam Jones had threatened to loosen
the top of his head that he consented to
enter the hall Once in he braced up
however, and after reaching the platform
and swallowing three peppermint drops
and glass of water he seemed to recover
all his native confidence and to forget that
one end OF his collar was loose and saving
away at his chin.
MY frens," he began, in voice so care
fully adjusted that not a single lamp was
upset, Il shall fuss spoke to you on de
subjick of truth. De man who has truth
ON his side am armed wild shotgun dat
scatters all over a ten-acre lot, an shoots to
kill. Up to de beginnin' oh de eighteenth
century truth was held in great esteem
'mOng all nashuns, but fua de las 200 vars
de biggest liar has taken de cake. While
de liar may git along tolerably well fur
few vars, an ridin' in the same street car
wild de postmaster, de mills of de gods am
slowly grindin' away, an all of a sudden
he gets drap an am swept off de checker
bod. When you can't believe what man
says you have no furder use for him.
II see befO' me tonight many pussOns
who are probably liars. an l AK 'em as a
friend to stop it. Speak de truf, an mean
what you say. De man wild a reputashun
fur candor an truthfulness can't buy his
postage stamps any cheaper dan de liar
but he gifts chance to sit on de jury twice
as often, an am allus selected to pass de
hat when collekshun am tooken up.
sincerely hope dat ebery liar widin sound
oh my voice will at once resolve to speak
de truf an muffin but de truf frum dis
night On.
One of de evils Of de present ginera-
shum am its proneness to squander an
waste. 1t am only when we cum down to
de las nickel dat we begin to query
whether we haven't bin to extravagant. |
doan' keer fur de white folks, but desiah
to say to my fellow citizens dat what a
man Arms doan' count. 1t am what he
saves l see seberal watches among you.
| see dat some of you have on diamond
pins. | has been in some of your HOUSES
an found china sugar bowls an silver
plated knives an napkins wild a red border
to 'em. Do you need such thing? Am
you mo- happy dan when de sugar was
placed in sasser and passed around, an
you cut your meat wild jack knife? Be
war of what dey call stile. Stile forces
you to put $50 carpet on de parlOr foo
and go widout wood fur de kitchen stove
Stile forces your wife to put on silk dress
an 90 widout enuff to eat. Stile demands
dat you put $40 lambrequin on one win
der and stuff an old hat in de next. Stile
forces you to give birthday party for
your party while your sol has to go bare
futted to make up fur it. Take off dem
diamond pins, an sell EN- fur 81 apiece,
an put de money in de bank fur a rainy
day. Go trade dem watches for sawbucks
and buck-saws. Peel off dem sto' clNe,
an dom fear to let de world see you in
duds mo- appropriate to lie wages ye aim"