The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-31
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Ladies OF 1aSnlOn SJarVe tnelr nap
piness to feed their vanity, and theiI
love to feed their pride Cotton.
There is no surer mark of the ab.
sence of the highest moral and intel
lectual qualities than a cold reception
of excellence. Chicago Journal.
"A young woman went into a libra.
ry in School Street, Boston, and asked
for MAN as He is" THAT is out,
replied the librarian, ''but we have
Woman as She Should Be. '"-BOStOn
Post.
-''What shall we do with our old
clothes?' asks newspaper writer. He
should save them until he starts daily
paper to fill long-felt want. He will
need them soon afterward.-NOrriS-
torn Herald.
Let those who've often sworn of before,
And failed to stick, swear OFF once more.
What if they've oft resolved and tripped?
They yet may stand no more TO fall.
'Tis better to have tried and slipped
Than never to have tried at all
-SOmerUiUs Journal.
At a Pittsburgh dog fight, jim, an
imported dog, shut his teeth through
one of the handlers hands. He cut
the dogs throat, and an iron poker had
to be used to pry open the dead dog
mouth. Pittsburgh Post.
These opera managers are shrewd.
They start their people from the other
side one a day. Then it is telegraphed
that Nine YelltheroOfOff has sailed, and
all the papers publish it. When she
arrives the fact is announced, and the
whole gang secures a heap of adver-
tising for the show altogether.-B0StOn
Post.
We heard one lady telling of an
other whose bonnet blew off the other
day, and she did not discover it until
she got home. The narrator of this in
cident seemed to look upon it as very
singular occurrence; but when ladies
persist in wearing postage stamp for
head covering we don't think it at all
remarkable Times.
"A medical journal asks: SIS the re-
section of the carcinOmatus pylorus q
iustifable operation?" 1t is not, under
any circumstances. People who have
resected the carcinomatus pyloras have
lived to regret it the longest day they
lived. Roll it in Indian meal and fry
it, and it is perfectly justifiable opera
ton, and boarders don't kick half As
much.-Psck'S Sun.
A man rushed up to woman look
ing in show window. and grasping
her by the arm, angrily exclaimed:
Come on; I'm tired of waiting for
YOU" Then noticing he had made a
mistake, he drew back with: 80, Ibeg
your pardon, madam, l mistook YOU for
my wife" II thought so," she an
swered with a scornful sneer, and
passed on.-Nerchant Traveller.
-"Ah, old fellow said a gentle
man, meeting another, $50 you are
married at last. Allow me to congrat-
ulate you, for hear you have an ex-
cellent and accomplished wife" Il
have. indeed" was the reply; ''she is
80 accomplished. Why, sir, she is per-
fectly at home in literature; at home in
music; at home in art; at home in sci
ence-in short. at home everywhere,
except Except what?" "Ex-
cept at home. Boston Post.
One little six-year-old of my ac-
quaintance recently took the head OF
the dinner table in the absence of his
father. and, gravely bending his head,
said grace" by repeating Hey did
dle-diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the
COW jumped over the moon;" nor could
be understand the laughter of the as
sembled guests. Hehad heard his father
say grace, and, thinking something must
be said, made good the lack so far as
he could.-Lippiacott