davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

The Democracy have not been
very successful with candidates from
New York. They have tried four
since 1864, and met with disaster
every time. Mcclellan in 1864,
Seymour in 1868, Greeley in 1872,
Tilden in 1876. Beside these, they
nominated Hancock in 1880, who is
more a New Yorker than anything
else, and met with still another de-
feat.-Iiiter Ocean.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

History repeats itself. In 1864
the Democratic party in its platform
denounced the war for the Union
as failure. But it wasn't. The
Democratic party was mistaken, that
was all. In 1884 the Democratic
party is of the opinion that the Re
publican party must 60" 1t is
mistaken again, that is all. The
Republican party will continue bus
mess at the old stand.-IndianaDolis
Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

The labor unions threaten to de-
feat Calvin Wells, one of the electors
on the Republican ticket of this
State, because as proprietor of the
Philadelphia Press, he has ceased to
employ union printers, and has his
work done by non-union men.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

THE Democratic papers that have
been gleefully chuckling over the
bolt of Curtis and the Independents
from Blaine, are now changing their
views on the divine right to bolt,
since Jno. Kelly and Tammany have
commenced kicking against Cleve-
Land
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

In view of the Presidential cam
paign just at hand, the following ia
BILE, given by Chicago paper, will
be of general interest, showing the
number of electoral votes to be cast
in the two sections of country.
North and South:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

An Anti-Pie Society has been
formed IN California, and has Pc
titioned the Legislature to prohibit
the manufacture and sale of pies, on
the ground that they are prejudicial
to health. OF Rerormers, there is no
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

THE terror which the candidacy OF
General Butler has caused among
the Southern Bourbons, is most
amusing. Just imagine the double
F. VS. parading around with spoon
for their badge.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09
NoRrHrRN srArEs.
Total Northern Electors
Total Southern Electors...... ......-.l53
Tafal lnf oil tin Stato. tnl

1t will require POI votes, being a
majority of the whole Eiectora. vote,
to effect choice for President in the
Electoral College. The whole of the
North, given to any candidate, will
give him forty-seven votes more than
are necessary to secure his election.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

THE member from this district
General Campbell-voted against
the bill restoring Fitz John Porter TO
the army. The old soldier votes as
beshot.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

TIL public debt was decreased
last month 1927, ,256 so. The total
reduction during the fiscal year end
ing June 3Oth, was s101 ,040,971 6S.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

CALL off your dogs, Critchfeld
or they viii start up game you are
not hunting for.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09
REPUBLICAN NOMINATIONS
NATIONAL.

roe PRESIDENT,
HON. JAMES q. BLAINE, OF Maine.
FOR VICE PRESIDENT,
GEN. JOHN A. LOGAN, Of Illinois.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-07-09

C0NGREssMAs-AT-LAEGE-
GEN. e. A. OSBORNE, Of Luzcrne.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

tnrrap1n. teryAPln. whittier AWAY
Ihou show knowing, evtl-eyed tramp.
what destiny tempts thee old pilRrfm Ia strav
so Tar from lhe terrapi camp?
Why prowi NJ nay garden. thou saunferfny crust
VI inserutaiae cunnings-whv sneak
ana focoh like q snake. with an air of distrust
"hen gentleman deigneth to speak?
Thou toothiess. cid. triple-lashed rover, what
Brineest thou from the terrapin isles:
Anu what OF thy trip thro' the dusks and the
Der the pathicss and perilous miles2
wnat moody bandtn beeaguer tiny way,
n ana where doe- thy lone journey trend?
prince OF the turtles. make answer. pray
10 the querulous poet. thy friendl
Thos Wandering Jew Of tho terrapin race,
What marvellous mysteries lie
lormentingfy lorked I'm thy Ia iturn face
And forever unsealed In thine eyer
FOR thee doth sorae terrapin mistress await
In her portable palace. wot--
ror thee she sits night after night at the gate,
And sadly complains of her lot.
o oterrapin, terrapin, whittier away,
Thro the dcws AMI the dazzle of dawn?
NO longer. poor gypsy, thv stops will stay,
but WIN think OF thee Often'when gone:
Inv road Il IA rugged, no doubt, my own,
Thy soul h a. sunless and sore
DO wish thee good. d.morning, thou terapin
lone,
And bid thee godsp,ed from my door
". ". hdttAetoS. 0 the Current.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20
Punch Bowls.

A huge punch-bowl is to be found in
almost every house in Washington, and
punch making has become fine art.
One of the most famous punch-makers
was the late Charles Astor Bristed.
His punches were neither too strong
nor too weak. In other words, one
glass would not make you drunk,
neither were you obliged to drink
several gallons in order to reach point
of exhilaration. This point of ex-
hilaration is the place to stop drinking.
Daniel Webster punch is complicated
drink that calls for whisky, rum, cham
pagne, arrack, maraschino, green tea,
lemons, sugar, and very little water.
A party of distinguished Scotch gen.
tlemen, who were in the city not long
ago, during their stay were invited to
visit the private residence of q promi-
nent gentleman. During the evening
light collation. was served in the
dining-room, and huge punch-bowl
was set out. The head of the party, a
Scotchman, who at home occupies the
position of provost in his native town,
stepped up and tasted the punch, and,
turning to an acquaintance, said: "That
seems very light; think it would take
man long time to get drunk on that"
This cool liquor glided very easily down
the provost's throat, and second glass
followed. Pausing before beginning a
third glass, he engaged in conversation
for moment, then he shook his head
and said: II don't see what is the
matter with me-" His eyes became
half shut, and as he stepped forward
he nearly lost his balance. Turning in
the most surprised fashion, he looked
at the punch-bowl, and said: "Do you
know, 1 think that drink is very in
seedious. What is it made Off" His
friend replied: whisky, rum, claret,
champagne, sugar, and lemon, and q
little water" The Scotchman under
stood at once what was the matter
Ben: Perley POOre.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20
The Car.Driyer.
money.

"Yes," said the driver, 1--WE are hay
ing very heavy loads on this line now,
on account Of the Exposition, you
know"
"Does the Exposition make you work
any harder?'
"Well, no, not much. You see, it
makes no odds with us whether times
is dull or slow. When q feller gets up
at 4 o'clock in the morning an don't
get to bed agin till 30 o'clock next
morning, and takes his meal out of o
tin bucket on the car, it's pretty hard
to make him work any harder, boss"
THAT only leaves you two hours and
half for mental repose."
"For what?" asked the driver, check
ing his horses.
"For sleep"
"Yes. Well. if you count the time
it takes to get settled in bed, an the
time it takes to fight the miskeeters,
and the time it takes to get walked up,
an adds 'em all together, an subtracts
'em from the two hours an a half, you
will see that we have about an hour
and q quarter left. Then, if the baby
has got the colic-and bless it's little
soul, it's always got it-why, the hour
an quarter is wasted in givin' it bakin'
soda an putin hot rags on its little
stomach"
"In that case, then, you don't get any
sleep at all ?"
an that case," said the driver, Il
don't get no Sleep"
"How many babies have you?'
9r.o.t 70 Io,. Tt.a L for~o<
haven't seen 'em all together since
took job on this line. L think, may
be, there's five, but there might be
six.
"And are you able to take care OF
them ALP"
"Well, / try to take care of the old
woman, an she takes care of the kids, /
guess. I'll tell you funny story if
you'll promise not to give it away"
go ahead-I never give anything
away"
"Well, sir, / was waitin' for my trip
down at the barn the other day, when
little boy came in an asked the boss
if 1 was around-givin' my name, you
know.
"'Yes, sez the boss, he's in there
Where is hep sez, the boy.
Inside there, SEE the boss.
Will you show him to me?' sez the
boy.
"a Whatl' sez the boss, didn't you
say he was your father?'
Yes, sez the boy, 'but L don't
know him by sight
with that KEN up, and the boss
seZ. Here. Wilson. here's your bow
lookin' for you
And there he was, sure enough, but
we didn't know each other, and the boss
had to introduce Us. Go long, Maud
s. p-St. Louis Critic.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

For the week ending Nov. 2 the reports indicate
that erysipelas and tonsilitis increased, and
that consumption of lungs and dysentery de-
creased in area OF prevalence.
At the State capital the prevailing winds
during the week ending Nov. were northwest:
and, compared with the preceding week, the
temperature was lower. the absolute and the
relative humidity. and the day and the night
ozone were less
Including reports by regular observers and
Others diphtheria was reported present during
the week ending Nov. q. and since, at II places.
namely: Adrian, Byron, Decatur. Detroit l3ast
Saginaw, Grand Rapids. astings Howard City.
istea, Portland. Port Huron, Romeo, and Wyan-
dotte: scarlet fever at IL places-Albon. Algonac,
Center Plains. Detroit East Saginaw, Grand
Rapids London, Manistee. North Muskegon.
Portland and st. Johns; measles at places
Detroit, Grand Rapids, and Whitehall.
HENRY L. BAKER. Secretary.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

home cory and comfortable that
seem so abominably delighted with her
$50 q week. He hated to hear the rat
tie of that money in her purse. 1t
grated on his feelings to know she was
earning in another mans Office the
money she ought to have received from
him. And besides, as she improved in
health and appearance, the old-time
spasms of jealousy shook his breast
with renewed vigor. Dick had been
very jealous lover, and he was now q
jealous husband.
1t was certainly very annoying for him
TO come up town in shower and see
his wife sailing down street just in adj
vance of him with some other gentle
man holding an umbrella over her and,
worse than all, to see her look so cheer
full and even happy under the circum-
stances. A wife's place was at her hus-
bands hearth. He wished Maria would
consent to give mp that ridiculous situa-
tion. II made him feel so unspeabably
foolish to have his friends say, "Why,
Mrs. Van Dorm has gone back on the
paper, hasn't she?" or, "You must
have strange taste, Van Dorm, to
allow your wife to kill herself
in the Advertiser Office. Women ought
not be confined so closely indoors as
that" or, 1T can't be, Van Dorm, that
you let your wife work for money!" un-
til he wished they were all in the Red
Sea.
He went home one evening with an
idea.
Maria" said he, quietly, II have
been promoted in the business--have
been taken in as partner, in fact. What
do you think of it ?"
Heartily glad to hear it, I'm sure, I"
said she, calmly.
"And l have determined to give up
this house, and take one OF those cot
tages on the avenue"
"But we are doing we'll enough here,
and rent is much cheaper. It is more
convenient for me, Because it is nearer
the Office"
"P-r-e-c-i-s-e-l-y," calculated Van
Dorm, "and for that reason more than
any other l am going to move"
"Now, Dick"
"And 1 propose now to take you in
full partnership into the business-not
only in financial matters but into
housekeeping as we'll"
Maria did not seem overjoyed at this
prospect.
IF you mean, Dick, that 1 am to go
back again and work for my board and
clothes, then L must decline" said Mrs.
Van Dorm, firmly.
Maria, if you will never repeat that
horrid phrase board and clothes, I'll
make you the most elegant present you
ever received" said Dick, hastily.
Il won't promise, and / don't care
now for elegant presents. am able to
buy for myself all that require.
"But, Maria, we must move. for
father has purchased that cottage
and given it to me-to us L
mean," hastily correcting himself, "and
L will set aside every week whatever
sum you say is necessary for house
keeping. Since you seem to feel SO
about it, matters shall be so arranged
that a specified amount shall be paid to
you every week, to do with as you
please. only stipulate that you go no
more to that abominable Office
Maria said she would think about it,
But as, week later, the Van Dorns
did go, bag, baggage, and babies, into
the new house, it was agreed by her
friends that Maria had closed with her
husbands terms, and that Van Dorm
had profited by his lesson.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

II. p. Derby Black writes from West
Point to the Erensng Post to correct
some errors in sketch by Mrs. Launt
Thompson in o recent London Society
of the first and, many think, the best
of American humorists, Lieut.. George
II. Derby, or John Phoenix. He was
born in April, 1928, worked on farm
near his home at Medfield. near Bos-
ton, and taught school. Before going
to West Point he attended a school in
South Boston and Capt. Alden Part
ridges famous institution at Norwich,
Vt, not Norwich, Conn, as Mr.. Black
has it. Johnson's Encyclopedia in its
sketch of Capt. Partridge is led into q
similar error by the fact that this
school was originally established at
Middletown, Conn.,, where the build
ings devoted to it formed the nucleus
of Wesleyan University. Partridge's
school in Vermont is now known as
Norwich University, if it continues to
exist. The town III which it Is situated
lies jus. across The Connecticut River
from Hanover. N. H., the seat of
Dartmouth College, which circum-
stance has of late years seriously in
terfered with its success. At West
Point Derby was graduated seventh In
a class of fifty-nine, that included
Stewart, Mcclellan, Blunt, Foster,
Hardcastle, Bryan, Stonewall jackson
and Stoneman. He distinguished him.
self in the Mexican war, being
wounded at Cerro Gordo and being
brevetted a first lieutenant for gallant
and meritorious conduct" in that bat
tie. He served in the Typographical
bureau and in Minnesota exploring
expedition before he went in lS49 to
California in ship commanded by
Capt. Carlisle Patterson, who died
within year or two after having been
for some time the well-known head of
the coast survey. The ship swarmed
with adventurers bound for the gold
fields and was ravaged by cholera,
and Derby with his light spirits and
jokes is said to have saved those on
board from an orgy of horrible despair" !"
He returned in 1852 and dm duty in
Texas, but went back to the Pacific
coast station 1853. He served on the
coast survey in 1856 and as lighthouse
engineer in 1S57-59, and then going on
sick leave. He died at Flushing, n. Y.
May Is, 1861, of the softening of the
brain, caused by sunstroke while
building a lighthouse in Florida in
1859. His defender admits that por-
tion of his life in California was "the
widest of the wild," and that he was
court-martialed for drunkenness and
reprimanded, but asserts that from
that day he never touched an alcoholic
drink. AS proof of the sincerity of his
love of humor it is mentioned that he
thought it grand joke on himself
that his agent fraudently sold the copy
right of his book, "Phenixiana," to
the Appletons 500 and on the proceeds
got married, and, although the author
never received cent from the work.
he refused to disturb the bargain. The
publishers told his widow that from
no book had they ever made so much
money.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20
How Dinner Should Be Discussed.

Very few people, unfortunately. think
enough of the dinner table for their
good. 1t Is the idea of too many per-
sons that dinner should be discussed
like politics--hurriedly, passionately,
or as pure matter of business. Eat
ing is of more Importance TO the indi-
vidual than politics. The way to enjoy
dinner is to sit down to table after
shaking off the cares of the world
Dyspepsia and all it's horrors readily
give place to good-humored talk, which
is the best condiment that the world
has kRown.-The Caterer.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20


-Chesaning fails to get its new planning
mill
.-Genesee County now has five ladies'
bands.
up to Nov. the salt product of the
State was 2,s4O, lG3 barrels.
The first pals and tubs of the Midland
City factory were shipped last week.
-Fenton young people would like to
learn how to dance il they had a teacher.
-Cheboygan County has discovered
coal field and is making an effort TO develop
it.
"A party Of University students will
charter car and visit the New Orleans ex-
position.
1t is stated that more Democrats than
Republicans voted the Prohibition ticket
in Midland.
The body of Robert Dalrymple, pio-
neer of Battle Creek, was found in the
Kalamazoo River
The store of Henry Adams, a clothier
at Manistee, has been closed by the Sheriff.
Liabilities, $4,000; assets, 81, ,O00
A woman named Belumer died at Ne
gaunee, last week, whose age, as proven by
well-attested documents, was ia years.
The collection Of pictures at the Art
Loan Exhibition in Bay City was the finest
ever seen in the State, excepting that at
Detroit
"A big pumpkin exhibited at Ludington
contained 525 seeds, and two persons
guessed the exact number before il was
opened.
-Yaple (Fusion), of the Fourth District,
has advised his friends not to pay election
bets, as he will contest Burrows election to
Congress.
j. w. Hawser, Of Climax, Kalamazoo
County, was suffocated by inhaling gas
while in bed in hotel at Battle Creek He
was 1S years of age.
The total copper output of the Calu-
met, Quincy, Atlantic, Fanklin N, Allouez,
Huron, Peninsula, Copper Falls, and Han
Fred Dingfelder, resident of Jones'
vile, was killed by the cars at that village
lately. Mr.. Dingfelder was about 20 years
of age, and had lived in Jonesville thirty
five years.
The Council of the Episcopal Diocese
Of Nebraska met in Omaha to elect a sue
cessor to the late Bishop GARRISON. and re-
elected Rev. DIR. George worthington, of
Detroit, to the episcoplte.
During the month of October there
were 500 passages through the United
States ship canal at Sault Ste. Marie.
These crafts carried 5,39S passengers,
81, ,9S9 tons of coal. 4,337, 846 bushels of
grain, 169, SOC tons of iron ore, 176, ,066 bar
rels of -four, and %, $50 feet of lumber.
Uncle Anthony Collins, colored
drayman of Adrian, was heaped up beside
the road with his horse in attempting to
run crossing in opposition to a passenger
train. Neither horse nor master was hurt,
but Unc!es exclamation explained it all:
"Oh, look at dat wagon"
1t is safe to assert that pine stumpage
in Michigan rs worth at least % per cent.
less than it was in 1872, Notwithstanding
its annual decrease in extent. Capitalists
with money to invest will undoubtedly be
safe in buying either pine irees or pine
lumber at present prices. There is hardly
probability of either going much lower.
There are said to be several men in Michi-
gan who sold pine lands about three years
back at an enormous profit. -Mushegon
Ne,cs.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

A SIMPLE apparatus for measuring
sunshine" shown in the grounds of the
London Health Exhibition, and ex-
planned to numbers of the visitors, is
as easy to understand as o thermome-
ter. 1t consists simply of strip of
prepared card fixed under and in the
focus of globe of glass about three
inches in diameter. The globe is
placed in the open air, and the moment
the sunlight falls upon it its rays are
concentrated by the globe, which, act
ing like burning glass, incinerates or
chars the paper SO as to trace black
line, the length of which shows sccu-
rately how many hours or parts of an
hour there have been bright sunshine
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

r. B. Coday. of Battle Creek, was ar
rested and sent to the County Jail for
twenty days for drunkenness. He petit
toned the Council to let him out. saying
he had wife and baby 10 take care Of,
and they granted his request.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20
Health I'm MICHIGAN.

Reports to the State Board of Health, Lansing.
by observers in different parts Of the State show
the diseases which caused most sickness in
Michigan during the week ending Nov 8, 1884.
as follows. Number of observers heard from. A:
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

M. DE LEssEps thinks that If wom-
an were once admitted to the French
Academy, in ten years it would con-
tain no men, because the immense su.
periority of women would be so plainly
evident that masculine candidates
would no longer be possible.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

Mrs. w. s. Howe, of MiIlbrook, so
years old, while deianged, covered herself
with kerosene oil and set fire to il. She was
terribly burned and died in consequence.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

"A white mccoon has been recently
captured in the Township Of Constantine.
The true northerner., 1884-11-20

Six months had passed. Strangely
enough, under the new regime Mrs.
Van Dorm had recovered her old-time
good looks and her old-time high
spirits. Dick began once more to en-
tertain for his wife that feeling of ad-
miration she had inspired him with in
the days of their courtship. He adj
mitted to himself that the change had
benefited her, though he was far
enough from owning the fact to her.
Her health was better, but Dick could
not but know that all that Maria gained
by the change was just that much lost
to him and his home. Maria had been
an exquisitely nice housekeeper, and it
grated on his feelings to come home to
tumbled parlor, where everything
was at "sixes and sevens," and dust lay
an inch deep on top of everything.
Hired help, Dick confessed, did not
take that interest in making o mans
Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1884-02-09

The greatest part of mankind en-
ploy their first years to make their
last miserable.
He alone is an acute observer, who
can observe minutely without being
observed.
The superiority OF some men is
merely local. They are great, be-
cause their associates are little.
Perjury is not only wrong to par
ticular persons, but treason against
human society; subverting at once
the foundations of public peace and
justice and the private security Of
every mans life and fortune.
There is no greater breach of good
manners-or, rather, no better evil
dence Of ill-breeding, than that OF
interrupting another in conversation
while speaking-or commencing q
remark before another has fully
closed.