Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-29
BRIGHT BITS.
81 WILL now make a personal canvass" re-
marked the tailor. as he measured himself for
a pair of overalls.-Ncao York Journal.


a pair of overalls.-Ncao York Journal.
..IN what condition was the patriarch Job
at the end of his life?" asked a Sunday school
teacher of a Quiet-loOkIng boy at the foot Of
the class. Dead" calmly replied the boy.
WHEN a concern fails in China the debtors
heads are cut off and thrown in with the as
sets. That is the way their creditors get a
head of them.-Pittsburg Chronicle TELEGRAPH.
He was describing his new girl at home.
and remarked enthusiastically that she had
a mobile face" 'And has she st. Louis
fOOt?" inquired his younger brother mischieV-
ously.-Detroit Free Press.
OLD girls at the seaside twist a wisp Of
common hay around their broad brlmmed
hats and fasten it with fancy bows, and thus
impress dudes with the idea that they are in
the hey day of youth.-Neae Orleans Ptcay1fse.
Pussy OLD MAID (entering base ball
grounds)-"Why, what did they all begin to
yell 'Fowly for when l came in? Do they
mum. You amt no chicken. "-PAtladetphtd
CaU.
| JAY-EYE-SEE attempted to lower his record
the other day in Philadelphia, but failed. 1t
is not nearly so easy to lower the record of a
| race-hOrse as 1t is to lower the record OF a
contestant in a Presidential race.-BOStOq
| Transcript.
San American who sees one bull fight never
wants to see another. L saw two" ny
| did you go TO see the second?" asked some
| one. "Infuenced by q human motive, SIR
| in the hope of seeing the bull kill Mexican
-ArkdRsd1o TrdUeLer.
SOMEBODY saws that Barnum is on the hunt
| for an lS-year old girl who for the past six
| years hasn't been kissed by a man. Some old
maid who has lost the faculty of remembering
| her age for the past twenty-five years might
| answer.-BostO1 Times.
NEW telephone instrument has been in
| vented by which the crying of baby may be
| heard at the distance of hundred miles, and
| bachelors are beginning to consider whether
| il is better to marry or move out OF the coun-
| try.-Ci1ciRndti Merchant IrdUeLter.
$50 you think John is becoming great man
in the city2' said farmer, speaking OF his
| absent son to a companion of the youth.
| "Great man! ] should say so. Whv, there
| amt a barkeeper in the city hardly that he
don't call by his first name. "-SOmerVtle
Journal.
AN elderly Newport maiden having had
several teeth extracted, and being asked by a
female companion if it hurt much, replied
''Well, / suppose 1t did, but was so excited
because he had his arm right around my neck
that didn't feel but very little pain. Ken
tuckV State Journal.
TIE New York journal offers to amateur
poets a prize of bottle of "cherry bounce
for the best short poem on the subject, why
Did Washington Cut Down the Cherry TreeI"
This is a new departure in the way OF COM
pensating amateur poets. heretofore edl-
tors have given them the ''grand bounce" for
their productions.
IT Is said that the sanitary condition of Tou-
lon is so bad that it catches all the infectious
diseases g0t ng. Up to the hour OF going to
press. however, 1t had not caught the base
ball fever; and the European papers, there
fore, are little premature in demanding
that the town be torn down and rebuilt
NOrFiStOJ0R Herald.
"YOU must think have no miEd at all"
wrathfully exclaimed Mrs. Racket as she
paused in her sweeping long enough to give a
double concerted glare at the old man. GOOD
reason to think So" retorted Racket; you're
giving piece of your mind to the neighbors
so often I'm sure you can't have any left by
this time.''- Wilmington Star.
HENRY WATTERsoN's private poet puts the
fol owing Irreverent strain into the mouth Of
Maud S.:
once did love old Billy
Twas when was filly;
But now Pm mashed severely on old Bob,
tell you, on my honor,
Pm dead in love with Bonner,
And I'll get away with JAY Eye-See, the cob.
THERE is a tale about Gen. Butler in New
Orleans which has never been told in the
North. He placarded the city with bulletins,
ordering this. that and the other, and the
people came to know that every order was
certain to be enforced. a market gardener
of the suburbs drove in one morning with his
little son beside him on his wagon seat. He
saw placard on a fence. Johnny, read that
to me-" the father said. Buy Lelghton's
store we come to-" said the father. II don't
want to have any trouble with the Yankees"
-Hdrper's Bdsdr.
LITTLE NELL-"But, mamma, can't have
a picnic without sending invitations, you
know" Mamma-"Well, | will write them
for YOU" Little Nell-''But they have to be
printed. Jennie Blanks ma had hers printed,
and there was 'propriate motto-that's what
Jennie called tin one corner. l can't re-
member what 1t was, though" Mamma
WOnl0 motto
of course. Can't you think of one?' Little
Nell-'Oh yes, the verse / had in Sunday
school last week would be just the thing"
Mamma-"Indeed What was it?' Little
Nell-'''Go to the ant, thou sluggard. y
Philadelphia CAL.
AS strolled on the beach with fair Isabella
We were friends oflong standing, ia known
her a week
Was it love or the shade of her gorgeous UNI
brella
That nuttered in crimson across her soft
cheek?
Hope tugged at my heart-strings and made
me audacious,
For when COquetry blooms like Provencal
rose,
1t is sure sign that she means to be gracious,
And bless with sweet favor some one of her
beauK,
So l set me to wooing, both blithely and
bravely,
Caught IN mine a small hand in a brown
CANT de Suede,
Snatched kiss from her lips, and was beg
ging her suavely
To leave out my heart from the list Of be-
trayed.
When she stopped me. ''I'm sorry" she muir
INJURED discreetly,
"But, you see, Pm engaged" and pre-
tended to sigh,
While a swift recollection upset me complete
"Great heavenp' l gasped, 81 forgot. So
am l." IN. E. W. in Llte.