Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-08-21
Why His Pork Swelled in the Barrel.


81 don't guess nothinga about it; I
know tits so, and that's all there is to
it." said salathiel Ward, taking out
quid of navy plug and shifting his po-
sition. Salathiel's remarks were oc-s
casoned by a discussion among some
of his neighborsas towhether salt made
pork swell in the barrel He came
along and joined them in the debate at
a very opportune time.
"Let me tell YOU" he continued; ''lt
war in the fall of ~ that I had a shote
just like unto yourn, Deekin-looked
near enough like him to be his twin
and be wouldn't fat, nary bit. / gin
him more thirty bushels o. meal, and
he war poorer when got done than he
war when fust begun. ! knowed what
allied him at once. Twas black,
holler tooth that wouldn't let him fat.
So one day 1 jest tux and yanked out
the tooth, and then did something by
accident like that made me sure O. what
I'm a-tellin ye."
''N hats that, Artemus?" asked two
or three; this name Artemus being one
they had given Linn because he had no
resemblance to the great humorist of
that name.
''Wait till We hear 1t wur this way.
knowed as 1 had to put some salt in a
hole CT on the back on his neck afore
hewould lay on flesh any, SO l caught
him and got his head right atween my
shins, and-do You believe me?-as
soon as the critter felt the knife a-cut-
tin into his neck he made saueal and
jump and went out from under me
Cuicker'n scat. He Jest ruined through
atween my legs and drawed that knife
the hui length on him. 1t cut purity
cash, clean from his ears to his tall
&. Il don't see what that has got to do
with what makes pork SWELL re-
marked an old farmer, who was watch
ing a flock of crows that had Just
ali9hted in his corn-field 50
.'You jest hold turn till git done,
will you? As / was a-saying, that cut
was bad one, and the crtter wasn't
with sewing up. So / jest het UP
klttle of water and stuck my kni e into
t'other side Of his neck. and dressed
him and sailed him down. 1t was
mighty mean pork and no mistake,
and reckoned we should shev to fare
81 m for pork an cabbage that winter.
BY gosh, the rine in some places was
thicker'n the meat. Howmsoever, I
laid it down in salt, and thought no
more about it till Mirandy come to me
one day and sc :, sec she: .Slath, the
pork barrels busted / went down
cellar, and there, sure enough, every
hoop was broke clear'n two. l got
some new Norway iron ones over to the
blacksmith shops, and when I come to
take the pork out o. that barrel. by
Jeems, if it hadn't growed IN thick
ness nearly double 1t was in big
white chunks s good as you can buy
at the store. f. ed up the barrel. put
in a lot more salt, threw the pork back,
covered it with pickle, and left it be.
Well, sir, by hockey, that pork Kept
oA.a swellin' and CROWN till it over
run the barrel, and had to get an
other to hold it all. 1t was white and
fat and clear, and. some on it would cut
up ards of X inches
THAT Is queer" sa:d the nervous
farmer. '.How do you account for
it?''
II account fur it in this yer way.
reckon that hog was SIGH big eater
and he ct so much that my thirty BUSH
els o meal passed into his meat afore
it swelled. It didn't do him no good,
you see. 1t was jes lying locked up in
his system awaitin', and when the salt
got In there it turned the meal into fat
and busted my barrel.n
swell, l do declare" said a chorus
OF voices as the farmer hastily departed,
leaving Salathiel by the roadside alone.
8 Bos.on ttote. a.
The first orpedo-boat ever known
was launched in New York harbor in
1776.-N. Y. San.