The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1884-09-12
How the New Reporter Treated Picnic.


The new reporter was Yale gra6u-
ate, could spout Latin and Greek in apy
kind of meter, and had the comic sec
tons at his fingers ends. The tough
est propositions of old Euclid were as
the innocent questions of child to him,
and he regularly went through d course
of algebraic exercises before breakfast.
He had been intended for the church,
but his surging ambition sought wider
fields, and he expressed his intention of
erecting lighthouse in the sea of liter
ature, by which he would be remem-
bered for all ages. He longed to Crap
pie in collar and elbow style with the
great questions of the day, and doubted
not his ability to knock out the knottiest
social problem in one round. Like all
great minds, however, he had to begin
right at the bottom of the ladder, but
oft in his peaceful sleep he dreamed of
the time when he should have reached
the highest round, and groaned aloud
as the thought struck him that there he
must remain.
During the first few days of his novi-
tiate. he took in couple of temperance
meetings and invested a strawberry
festival with degree of hallowed en-
joyment greater than it had ever en-
tered into the heart of man to believe
that such wild revel could possess.
On Saturday afternoon he was told to
90 out to Mistletoe Park and get up a
good half column report of the annual
sports of the Solid Sons of Solomon.
''Make it lively" said the city editor.
"You may trust NE, answered the
budding Thackeray, and making sure
that he had his notebook and good
supply of pencils he flew down the stairs,
three steps at time.
About half past nine the busy toilers
in the editorial rooms were distracted
from their labors for q moment by q
sort of idiotic cackle, which proceeded
from no less a parsonage than the en-
bry0 journalist. He gazed benignly but
in patronizing manner on his associ-
ates as he tapped a thick wad of copy
which peeped from his breast pocket.
In one hand he carried his cane and
with the other he distributed cigars, of
which he seemed to have an endless
supply, to every one he met. After
making several tacks he bore down on
the city editor and deposited on his
desk his bundle Of copy with stately
mien.
'Jus' read that" he said, 'nozzin'
slow about that Struck out II M own
account Old shtyle, too monoto-
nous"
AS soon as the city editor had recov-
cred he commenced to read:
''The Solid Sons of Solomon held
their annual games at Mistletoe Park
yesterday afternoon. The clerk of the
weather was in generous mood, end
the quality of sunshine supplied left
nothing to be desired The sparrows
and bobolinks chirped p@ans OF Joy,
and all nature seemed to be reyeling in
q paroxystn of delight 4 steady
stream of sons and daughters of Solo
mon passed through the gates, sorely
taxing the energies of the ticket taker,
Gus Libby, who keeps first class sa-
loon at 1909 Fulton street.
(The blue pencil here came into
playa
''Passing through the grounds one
was struck by the. general good order
which was found everywhere. This
was due in d great measure to the
watchfulness of Officer Muldoon, who
was on duty. This officer has not been
long on the force, but he has already
established reputation which will soon
lead him to promoti
More blue pencil.)
"The sports were of d most exciting
nature, consisting Of races, etc., and
were Under the charge of Billy Field,
the veteran athlete, and Joe Morris,
who keeps cigar store on Myrtle
| avenue, and stands high in the esteem
of the citizens of Brooklyn as con-
scientious dealer and a good fellow"
(Here the city EDITORS hair began to
stand on end and the blue pencil
dropped from his grasp. He read on,
however):
''The refreshment booth was a marvel
of neatness and good taste and reflected
great credit on the gentleman in charge,
Mr.. Owen Mccain, whose place Of
business is at 1908 Myrtle avenue.
Owen has been in the trade q good
many years and is well known among
the sporting fraternity of Brooklyn. It
is generally conceded that his stock of
liquors is unsurpassed in the country,
while his old sour mash whisky
''Did you write all this yourself?"
said the city editor with dazed look.
| Every word,' said the new reporter.
rising two inches in height. "Will it
appear tomorrow"
at within the waste basket. You
| look tired. [ am afraid this work is
too much for yon. Take few weeks
few months rest in the Catskills and
don't come back until we send for
| 49,, Do,noIIa,o, EuoTo