The Cecil Whig., 1884-02-09
NASBY.
Mr.. Nasty Goes to Ohio 10 Assist in
the Election of Pendleton. and Comes
Back Comforted, Though
Defeated,
CoNFEDERIr Y Roads,
Wich is in the State Nv Kentucky

CONFEDERIT Y Roads,
(Wicii is in the State Nv kentucky
Jan. %, 1884.
wnz called upon to 90 to Columbus,
wlch is the Cappytyle Nv Ohio to assist
my old friend Pendleton, wich l hev
knowd but to love for many yeers.
alluz admired Pendleton, and alluz
agreed with him, except for two things.
lie outraged Dimocrisy in two ways,
viz. He alluz wore clean shirts and
wuz the father Nv Civil Servis law.
Good endOor the former ez a insident Nv
his bringin up, but the latter | never
wuz quite satisfied with. Any law wich
prevents Dimekrat from takin an offs
when he kin get one, is an outrage wich
can be too severely reprehended How
ever, | forgave him, for never sposed it
meant anything. Ez a perfsshnel offs
seeker for many long, weery ysers, and a
offls holder at onsertain and spasmodic
intervals, | am perfeckly wil.in to trust
the enforcement of any law regelatin
oiiis-holden to the Dimocrisy, eff they
ever git where they hsv the dispensin
Nv ofiises So long ez the Republicans
hev the power don't see that it wood
worry us very much.
10 go to Columbus, or anywhere else
to assist in the eleckshun NV Pepdleton.
or anybody else, is to me alluz work
NV necessity and mercy, wich am willin
to do. am willin to be sent anywhere
ior oeln sent implies the payment NV
expenses, and the payment of exnenses
IN any Dimocratic servis meens on.
limited likker. Let me be shoer who
pays for my likker and I keer no. who
makes my laws.
Arrivin in Columbus wuz very soon
informed ez to the sitooashsu. That
Old war boss, Durbiu Ward, wuz out NV
the ring, and Pendleton hisself wuz yerv
much demoralized. A moo elemeet he'd
come into the contest. Henry b. Payne.
the candidate NV the Standard Oil Com.
pany, wuz the favorit by long odds.
Certainly" sed to myself, .sther
! ~ " ooih w W auy lIouuie III Deetln
the ojus monopolist, Payne. Their amt
a goin to be any question ez to layin out
a man who comes to Columbus on the
strength Nv his dollars only, espeshly ez
them dollars hez, every one NV om, the
smell NV oil into its garmence, every one
NV wich wuz dragged out NV the people
by the most oju monopoly ever known
in this or any other kentry. We will
make short work nv this bloatid devil
fish Nv monopoly. This Legislacher
wuz electid by the Dimocrisy ez a re.
form Legislacher, ez a anti-monopoly
Legislacher and it will be troo to its
mishn."
Jist ez these thots wuz a passn thro
my mind, ther cum into the hotel
batch Nv members from the cars, fresh
from their constituencies. To them l
addressed myself:
Gentlemen" | remarked (most NV
EN- didn't respond when l sed gentle
men, but actid ez tho they didn't know
whom | w1lz addressin.) Gentlemen.
700 hev dooty to perform. Their is two
candidates for the SENT, and 700 must
choose atween EN-. One is Pendleton, a
pure Senator, a uprite citizen, and
iEcorruptible Legislacher The other is
Henry B. Payne. the tool NV that wuss
than bloatid monopoly, the Standard
Oil Company. Both ask your votes.
Pendieton, without fee or reward,
Payne's managers for money
Wat. was the response.
Il repeat; Payne's managers for
money. For the fust time in the histry
NV the State Nv Ohio money is bein
yoosed to purchis votes. Ez pure men.
ez honest men, will 700 endoor this:
Tie managers for Payne are poyin ez
htyh e s., 900 apiece for rotes'"
Did these members denounce this
brootal monopoly ia fitten terms, and
swear to never rest till they had crushed
ito
Did their faces comfort with rage, and
inoisnashen, and sich, when they heard
these awful wordso
Not much.
But they immejitly flew at me and de-
manded wher Payne's managers Good bs
tound, and ther wuz foot-race to see
wIch Good git to his headquarters afore
the markit wuz over-stocked. l found
em all there, and dozen NV EN-, who
wuz fleshy and coodent run fast, de-
nounst me ez no troo Dimecrat for not
hevin informed EN- sooner, that thsy
mite hev got in before the quota wuz
filled, that they mite hev ther whack.
Then they asked wat Pendleton WIZ
payin, and when told EN- nothin, they
sot down and wept.
Payne wuz electid triumfantly.
While my mishn wuz faleyoor | am
more than satisfied. Honey comes out
Nv the carkis to-day the same ez in
Sampscn's time, and We take the honey,
no matter how loud -smellin the carkis.
The defect Nv Pendleton will soon be
forgotten. Some Nv his friends are
sore now, but sich sores soon heel.
Pendleton is down, and men forgit, very
quickly forgit those who are down.
Pendleton can't do nothin more TO. his
friends but Payne kin, and so Pendleton's
friends will bid him a atfeckshnit fare
well, and swear they alluz wuz for
Payne.
The honey we git from the carkis is
the attachin NV the Standard Oil Com
pany to the Dimekratic cart. 1t is
hitcheG, and must do its share NV haulin.
Standard Oil is now part and parcel NV
the Dimekratic party NV the Yoonitid
States.
1t is powerful ally. 1t hez money
Unlimited, for it is hez its hand onto
every drop NV iloomiuatin and loobri
catin fiooid in the Yoonitid States. No
labrer's wife wakes up at mite and turns
up her lamp to give soothing syrup to
her sick child but pays triboot to the
Standard Oil Company. Every Bible
that is read at nine is SO many cents to
the Standard Oil Company. In the mat
ter of Bible readin We hev the bulge on
the Republkins, for the Dimocrisy don't
pay the Standard people very much in
this way. Every Irish servant girl wich
rOeS to the next world irwin 70 ,,,1,o