Omaha daily bee., 1884-12-29
COUNCIL BLUFFS
ADDITIONAL LOCAL NE WIS.
PLEASING THE PUBLIC.
John B. Cough Tells The Bee Some Of
The Difficulties.
A Few of His Personal Experiences

Those who we're so entertained by the
lecture OF John B. Cough would have
found him fully as entertaining, or more
so, In private conversation had they the
opportunity to meet him socially, His
fund of anecdotes seems inexhsustible.
THE BEE man had the privilege of meet
ing him in company with Hon. D. @.
Bloomer, at the Ogden house. Some re-
marks caused the conversation to drift
upon personal Incidents in regard to MIR.
Coughs experience with various aud
fences. Naturally In forty.two years of
public life, and In appearing before
audiences In all parts of this and the old
country, he has had not a few amusing
incidents. Some of these he narrated in
his inimitable manner. Among these
was one of an Englishman who introduc.
ing him to the audience compared him to
"Samson of old who had slain his thous-
and and tens of thousands
with the Jaw bone of an ass"
AnotherEtime a Scotchman in introduce
ing Mr.. Cough, expressed the hope ''that
he would prove a deal better as he look
3D." At one place, a temporary plat
form had been arranged In a church, but
so high that Mr.. Cough had to look down
from a dizzy height upon the audience.
He objected to such a platform, but it
was too late to remedy 1t, and the preach
err who opened the meeting with prayer,
devoutly told the good Lord, "We are
sorry, o Lord, that the arrangements are
not pleasing to the speaker, and we pray
thee that the difficulties may not prove
as great as are expected, but that he may
be able to give as good a lecture here, as
he Is reported In the newspapers as hay
ing given In other places"
All such hits of his personal experience
lose the greater share of their force by
repetition, but when told by Mr.. Cough
himself they are most lsughable.
"Speakipg of Stanley" said Mr..
Cough, 81 think a good deal of him for
one thing that he did, that was the way
he treated the Oxford students. 1t was
capital. You know the Oxford students
pay very little respect to any n who is
not connected with the college. l, my
self, had an experience with them. !
tried for an hour before I could get them
to listen. Every time I would attempt
to speak they would cheer and clap their
hands, ETC., and drown me out. There
| 49,, ro-a fo,r hrDlrol ~ rnaro -D,,p,
men, with their gowns and fiat caps.
Well, finally, l got a chance to shout out:
Fair play Is a jewel; that ia an English
mans motto. Is 1t fair play for several
hundred of you to be against one, and a
little one too2' They made some further
racket, but the Idea seem to strike them,
and as they quieted little l got a chance
to tell them to aend up their champion
and let him talk ten minutes and then /
would talk ten minutes, and the rest
should be the jury. That was fair play.
After a little one fellow said: well, Christ
turned water into wine.' 1 replied, Il
haven't anything to say against that kind
of drinks. You may drink all the wine
you can get made out Of nothing but
water There was a good.natured laugh,
which silenced that one, and then an
other cried out well, Paul told Timothy
to take a little wine for mis- stomath's
sake l turned, and pointing my finger
at him said, NOW, Just look at him; a
great, robust frame, the very picture of
health, able to wrestle with and throw
five ordinary men, and yet, poor fellow,
he wants a little wine for his stomacb's
sake There was great laughter, and l
had won and was given a hearing.
"But, Stanley, he did a capital thing.
He appeared, and on the platform with
him was a regular Zulu, who had been
with him several months. They COM
menced with Stanley as with me, and 1t
sort of dazed him at first, but after a
little he commenced hurrahing and cheer.
ing himself. This struck the Oxford
students as queer, and they quoted
down to see what 1t meant.
Stanley said, gentlemen, please do
not stop. John, here, has not seen such
a sight since he left his home in Zulu
land, eight months ago, and it delights
him. This next comparison of the Gull
tured but mischievous fellows to the wild
Iulus, had the desired effect, and Stanley
was given an attentive hearing"
Speaking of interruptions, while speak
ing, Mr.. Cough tells of one fellow who
kept singing and from the gallery, "Thst
Isn't So" and occasionally making the
contradictions more offensive by an oath.
At every interruption of this kind some
pretty we'll dressed fellows, who looked
like gentlemen, and who were just under
the gallery, would laugh, and appear de.
lighted. Some In the audience called
"Put him out" but Mr.. Cough said he
did not want him put out. He pitied
him. 1t was evident that those other
fellows had got q few drinks into him,
and were delighted that he was making
such a fool of himself. He then told
the story of the man who was a
great Joker, but had only one joke, and
being a great stammerer had difficulty in
getting off even this. Everybody knew
the joke, so when he commenced in his
~stammering way to tell 1t to a stranger,
one of the stsmmerer's townsmen stand.
ing by, and sympathizing with his slut.
tering attempt, said to the stranger, ''He
wants to ask you if you know why Ba-
laam's ASS spoke" The stranger said he
thought 1t was because the man was q
stammerer and got his ass to speak for
"