The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
VOL. XXIX----NO. ~.
VARIETIES.

"A young lady who had lately received a
bouquet of roses was somewhat amused TO
to find the donors visiting card attached to
it and written on the wrong side these words
| "Not to exceed So"
| An editor in Southern California managed
five different papers in the last year, and they
all collapsed on his hands. He has just start
| cd another and has named it "Kind Words"
because kind words never die.
| what sort of a place is that pa % asked
a little boy of his male parent, while they
were out walking. "Thats beer garden"
81 didn't know beer grew in gardens"
There is great deal of it raised in gardens,
| my son. .......
| why, Cousin Charlie, what are YOU
doing here? suppose must call you doc
tor, now, and how are the patients, by the
way?" 81 don't know how they are by the
way know none ofthem ever gets as far
| as my office"
My dear boy, the business world is
divided into camps the gamblers and the
Spectators" 81 don't exactly see the dif
ference" tits very simple. The Spectator
is the one who gains. When man loses he
is only gambler
"A Boston man has been granted a patent
on machine for cutting the coupons off of
bonds. Every newspaper Office will need
| one, sooner or later. We have had our shears
sharpened, and will be able TO worry along
without the contrivance for another year, at
least perhaps two years.
II wish had eyes in the back of my
head" said young lady the other evening
"WhyP" asked devoted admirer, breath
| lessly. $50 that could see what was going
on without the trouble of turning my head"
"lou can turn my head without any trouble"
responded the youth with a gloomy sigh
Another Dakota editor is out in the pic.
turesquc wilds calling upon the hills and
rocks to fall on him and hide him from the
wrath TO come He wrote: "Mrs Allen
called yesterday and presented us with some
OF her jam, and we unhesitatingly say il beats
the world" The printer made il read claw"
and hence.
Nobody lives in the moon except the one
lone, traditional man, No rivers flow across
the barren plains, no verdurc touches the
desolate cratcrs and the gloomy mountain
heights. Silent cratcrs, barren wastes, mighty
desolalions, universal solitude, insutferablc,
binding light of day, rayess impGnetrable
darkness by night; there is no cloud, no
drop of rain, no breadth of air, no atmos-
phere, nothing but loneliness and dreariness.
Often, by the aid of powerful telescopes the
man in the moon has been heard to say that
he felt like temperance convention.
"A friend of Sir Edwin Landseer, who
accompanied him to Kensington Museum on
the first occasion offs exhibition by gas. light,
relates that Landseer stepped short before
his large picture. "A Visit TO Waterloo" al
must have been mad, said he, "when paint
cd that" And, walking up to the picture,
he placed his hand over the part which had
attracted his criticism. An attendant police
man shouted his polite caution:" tNow,
then, take yer 'ands Off therew "My good
man.. said Sir Edwin, Il was merely re
don't yer go and do bctter?" said Bobby,
who had no idea to whom he was speaking.
quite right Quite right l should do
better. am ashamed of itr returned Sir
Edwin