Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-06-04
sss!S. - .F...s III
NXE, THE HUMORHST.
An Attempt at Amateur Carpemterimg,
With Peculiar Results.
From the Denver Opinion.

From the Denver Opinion.
In my opinion every professional man should
keep chest of carpenters tools in his barn or
shop. and busy himself at odd hours with them
IN constructing the varied articles that are al
ways needed about the house. There is a great
deal of pleasure in feeling your own independ-
ence OF other trades, and more especially of the
carpenter. Every now and them your wife will
want bracket put up in some corner or other.
and with your new bright saw and glittering
manner you can put up one upon Which she
can hang cast-iron hOrse-blanket lambrequin
with inf1exible water lilies sewed in it,
A man will. if he tries readily learn to do o
great many such things, and his wife will brag
about him to other ladies' and they will make
lnvidious comparisons between their husbands,
who can't do anything of that kind whatever,
and you who are $50 handy"
Firstly, you buy set OF amateur carpenter
tools. You do not need to say that YOU are an
amateur. The dealer will find that out when
you ask him for an easy-running broad axe, or
green gage plumb line. He will sell you set
OF amateurs tools that will be made of OLD
sheet-iron. with Eastwood handles and the saws
will double up like piece of stove-pipe
After You have nailed board on the fence
successfully, you will very naturally desire to
do something better. more difficult You will
probably try to erect parlOr table or rustic
settee
i made very handsome bracket last week
aid was naturally proud of it. In fastening il
together. If l hadn't inadvertently nailed it to
the barn floor: guess could have used it very
wei, out IN tearing 1t loose from the barn &C
that the two could be used separately, l ruined
bracket that was intended to serve as the
base, as 1t Were of lambrequin which cost 80
aside from the time expended on it,.
During the month of March / built an Ice
chest for this summer. 1t was not handsome
but 1t was roomy and would be very nice for the
season of 1884, | thought. 1t worked pretty
well through March and April, but, as the
weather begins to warm up that ice chest IL
about the warmest place around the house
There Is actually glow Of heat around that Ice
chest that don't notice elsewhere. I've shown
it to several personal friends. They seem tc
think that it is not built tight enough for an fte
chest. My brother looked at it Yesterday. anC
said that his idea of an ice chest was that il
ought 10 De tight enough at least to hold the
larger chunks OF ice, so that they would moi
escape through the pores of the ice box He
says ne never built one, but that 1t stood to rea
son that refrigerator like that ought to be con
structed so that it would keep the cows out o.
lt. I on don't want refrigerator that the cattle
can get through the cracks of and eat up YOU
strawberr on ice. he says.
nelghoOr OF mine who once built hen re-
sort OF laths, and now wears a thick thumb mai
that looks like Brazil nut as memento of the
pullet corral, says my ice chest Is all right
enough, only that it is not suited to this eli
mate. He thinks that along Behring's Strait
during the holidays my ice chest would work
ike charm. And even here. he thought, if
could keep the fever out of my chest there
would be less pain.
have made several other little articles O
vertu this spring, to the construction of which
nave contributed good deal of time and two
niger nails l have also sawed into my leg two
or three times. The leg, of course, will ge
well. but the pantalOons will not. Parties wish
ing to meet me in my studio during the morn
ing hour will turn into the alley between Stl
and 9TH streets, enter the third stable door oil
the left, pass around my Gothic house. and civ,
the countersign and three kicks on the door IL
an ordinary voice.