The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-16
BILLY BUNDY.
The Old Man Once at the Market
His Friend Lem.

After an absence of nearly two
months Uncle Billy Bundy reappear-
ed at the fish stands In Union market
the other morning, and when the
Teutonic fish dealer saw the old man
he exclaimed /:
"Vell, / do deglare! Dere vas oft
man Billy. VIE gents old fellow ?"
Uncle Billy was smiling all over,
and the Germanic remarks caused him
to give broader grin, The veteran
darkey had colored friend with him,
but he did not introduce him for
some time, as the Teuton's remarks
were not clear, so Uncle Billy, after
shaking hands all around, responded
to the inquiry:
"Well? who was dat you was
talkin' 'bout2 / speck dat was some
talk you done learnt Gross de waters. /"
The fish dealers all expressed them
selves delighted at the old mans re-
turn, and one and all wanted to know
where he had been. The old man
said:
"Well, gemmen, L done bin way up
norf wild my boss, an we nebber got
back till jess TO de lection, an We
wouldn't er bin back den eff my boss
hadn't wanted ter vote. / want
pesterin' long NO votin' dis year, kaze
my ole oman say she didn't want me
ter vote fer dat Blaine, whose picter
she seed in de paper all marked up,
an de niggers in my ward say of 60
votin' de demerkratick ticket dey'd
make me sick NV dat racket, so /
done like / heard my boss say lots er
men was doin,' an / sot on de fence
rail"
"Introduce us to your friend" said
one of the group
claw amt done dat yit !? Well,
gemmen, dis is Lem. Lem, desc is de
gemmen what / bin tellin' you bout.
Gemmen, hope yawl will prove on
quaintance.
Lem bowed, scraped around and
grinned several times, but he was 30
difident he ventured no remarks.
Finally the German began to twit
Uncle Billy by telling him that by
bis long absence his friends at the
market we're afraid he had become
frightened like many of the negroes
down south, and had taken to the
woods since the election on account of
the wild stories that had been told the
darkies.
"Deed / amt !" Uncle Billy ans
wered sharply, Its er shame fer
white 'publicans ter do de po' cullud
foxes de way dey bin doin' dis year.
Now, here's Lem. Dey done Tim
scanlous up in Sain' Paul jess fore we
come away. 1 amt gwineter tell you
myself, but Lem kin speak fer hisself.
Go head, Lem, and tell desc gemmen
how dey done you"
Lem hesitated for ahwile and when
he started to talk it was apparent
that bis difideDce was caused BY q
stutter, which somewhat embarrassed
him. At last he got started, and
told substantially the following story /:
"W-w-wel, gemmen, was up in
S-S-Sain' Paul, an 1 had er trunk
what | w-w-want sont down ter Sain'
Louis an l d-d-didn't know nothin'
tall bout gitten it fixed. I WV
wanted ter send her down fore /
come myself, an er white man, he
tole me, he did, dat de gubment at
Washin'ton done fix it so dat cullud
folks kin ssbe money, and dat de
pos office was er s-s-sendin' trunks
thoo de mail fer us cullud foxes, an
all l had ter do was to put a five
cent s-s-stamp on each end an dat she
would 60 er bilin' to de place. I got
de s-s-stamps, an bless erasmus I
stuck 'em on the ends, th'owed de f.
trunk on my shoulder an tux her
down ter de pos office. When | q,
g-get dar / ak de man what I do mex
an he look kinder f-f-funny at me. an
he say you git outer here, you black
niger. | hilt my g-g-grouu' I did,
an | say he can't fool wild me, and
dat ! wanter send dat trunk. Wild
dat he kick me out de side do, and
arter all had ter transgress dat ole
close b-b-box by freight train"
LENS queer experience caused
laug liter, and when it had subsidized
Uncle Billy chimed in, "Yawl hear
dat! OATS de way dey done Lem. |
But [ amt afeard Nv 'em; deed 1 /
amt. My boss STAN by me, an he
tell me what's what, an eff he don't
know my ole oman do. But dat's de
way foxes will do er niger what amt
up ter snuff. Nebber mine. when T
git more time I'm er comm ter dis
market, an | gwine tell you some
great tales Don't ole days"