Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-08
BRIGHT BITS.

sWE KNOW that caricatures Of candidates
don't count" say the campaign artists, but
one must draw the line somewhere"
A HALF HUNDRED of the poems on Barnum' s
white elephant, written for the $500 prize,
have been published in pamphlet form. One
verse of one of them is: so thou prodigy
dumb. thy watchWOrd is mum, but if thou
couldst hum. thou wouldst swear, cum, the
greatest Of men is =. L. Barnum."
WELEARN from an exchange that Thomas
AlIing recently discovered Benedict ArnOld's
hiding place" in New Haven, Conn. 1t ap-
pears, however, that Mr.. Arnold had es-
capped; but the premises VIII probably be put
under proper surveillance. Treason should
be made characterization Herald.
"WHAT are you singing, my daughter?'
asked an Austin parent. "Flee as q bird"
she replied. "a flea as bird, Ell? Wen, the
| Bible saws something about the grasshopper
being a burden. and if that's so, maybe flea
is a bird" and the man chuckled and laughed
until they had to pound him on the back to
bring him to.
ONE Of the paragraphs in the local news
column of recent number of Peruvian
paper consists of an account Of a robbery COM
mitted on the premises of the Prime Minister.
''The thief succeeded" we learn, I'm carrying
off some gold and silver ornaments and the
Minister'S portfolio, containing speeches.
drafts of acts of Parliament, and other papers
OF no valuen The Minister must have felt
highly battered when this sentence met his
eye.
A PHYSIOLOGICAL JOURNAL will take a
newspaper woOd-cut of a Presidential candi-
date and from it read his character from A
to lizard, locating combatlveness, destruct-
veness, cautiOusness, allmentlYeness, big
medicines, and all the other bumps termi-
mating mess" in their respe tive places
and the probabilities are that the cut doesn't
look anv more like the original than it resem-
hles the False Prophet of Egypt.-Norristol0n
Herald.
1T is said that the following anecdote, which
has been told of number OF people, Oflglnat-
ca with Lord COwley, who, at one of his own
parties in Paris, was leaning against man
tclpiece, when an unknown gentleman sald
to MIN: DO you mean to say that Lord Cow
levs parties are never liVeler than thlsr'
Never" "Well," said the stranger then l
shall take myself off at once" You're
lucky man." said Lord Cowley with sigh;
Pm obliged to Stop
YOUNG LAwYER-"There, now, | think that
is doing pretty well for man admitted to the
bar only a year ago. This paper refers to me
as a legal light" Frank frlend-"l am not
surpri sed " Young lawyer-"1 ou really eX-
pected it, then:' Frank friend-"1 es,
know the editor. He was speaking of you the
other day" Young lawyer-"lndeed! And
what did he sayf" Frank fTiend-"He said
he thought you were about the lightest mem
Der of the Philadelphia bar. "-PhtyddeLphta
CAL.
VARIETIES
You ask what fruit enjoy | most,
see among the tempting host
A kind far sweeter than the rest
l love the cherry-lips the best.
s-PbiLddeIphiI CAL.
FIOtCsTs.
You may cherryish your fruit just as much as
you please,
But flowers are nicer by far;
For what can be sweeter than two-lips to
seize
When sitting beside her you are?
Boston Post.
Vegetables.
All right; you're very sage, but
Find in my heart a voice that speaks:
''Give me the girl with turnip nose,
And dimples in her reddish cheeks"
-MeLrOse Journal
Jewels.
The maid with the diamond eyes / prefer,
Whose smile reveals two rows of pearls,
Whose lips are twin rubies-what maid equals
her.
The gem and the jewel of girls?
-S0l0erUiLIe Journal.
BelCdre.
In search of a lifelong companion,
If Jewels YOU so much should prize,
Look out, or you may get caugh. by
A maiden with emerald eyes.
NEWS.