The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-30
DEACON DINWIDDJE.
He Skipped" the Meeting of the
Church Trustees and Attend
ed the Female Minstrels.

Last Monday night the Madam Stanley
female mastodon Ministries appeared at the
opera house
twas an entertainment specially devoted
to bald-heads, and a fine array Of them were
in attendance. The front row of orchestra
chairs resembled section OF cCbble-stone
pavement after a summer shower had
washed il clean.
That evening Deacon Simeon Dinwiddie
put on his best black coat and a clean col
lar, snd at tea he told the housekeeper and
daughter Sophia that the church trustees
met that night on important business, and
he would be kept away unusually late.
After tea he put on his overcoat and
muller, and after taking the night key of
the nail by the door in the hall, he started
down street.
1t was quite dark.
At the corner of Fourth street and Mis-
souri, avenue he passed q squad of boys,
who shouted to the deacon
$50 it, old bald head, they won't wait for
YOU"
The deacon plodded along just as if he
had not heard them. He went to the
usual place of meeting Of the trustees, and
il was all dark.
He did not tarry Iouy but pushed on
toward the opera house.
The large gas light was burning bright
" and as bis shadow was reflected from
the light he felt frightened. fearing that
Jones the corner groceryman or his par
son might see him 60 in.
He walked in, however, and when told
by the ticket seller that seats in the bald
headed-row were bringing Sl.O0 each he
hesitated and said.
Saint you little high?"
ayes, it is high, but you'll get your
moneys WORTH" was the urbane answer.
The deacon put out his good money and
received therefor pasteboard ticket and
passed in.
A front seat was given the venerable
gentle man from the west end, but just as
he was taking his seat vile kid from
Siringtown shouted out at the Top of his
voice:
Shoot the deacon"
The head OF the old man got red as q
beet and he endeavored to pull a few re-
naming hairs over the top of his head to
hide his embarrassment.
Judge of his surprise when he sat down
to find Jones, the groceryman, the second
seat from him waiting for trouble to begin
Jones reached over his mouth close to the
deacon's ear and said:
"Thele was &C meeting of the trustees tc-
night"
"NO. The room was dark when was
there and did not STOP"
The curtain went up and the deacon's
eyes were riveted 10 the stage.
In little while he began to do a little
flirting with one of the girls. One of the
ushers noticed it and told the old man
that the girl he was flirting with was
man In woman's toggery.
This set the deacon back considerably,
but he siaid until the last act, and plodded
home with Jones, through back streets, to
their respective homes.
On the road the deacon and Jones moral.
lied over the scenes of the evening.
81 would not have attended tonight, but
you know / am a candidate for the post
Office, and / must mingle with the people
and see If they will not take more to nv
ways" said the deacon.
yours is very good idea" said
Jones patronizingly, land was there, too,
in hopes il might better my trade
and again little fun is enjoyed by the best
Of men," continued Jones, sticking his
thumb into the deacon's side.
The next morning Deacon Diuwiddie
was late TO his breakfast. He complained
to the hcusekeepsr that The coffee was cold
and that the steak was tough.
"Trustees held meeting late last night"
said the housskeeper.
No reply.
81 see in the BAzoo that the female mas
todops were at Woods opera house last
night" continued the housekeeper.
"Yes, believe there was something of
that sort there. saw bills to that effect, {"
replied the deacon, endeavoring to cut the
meat on his plate and not looking un.
He hurriedly finished his breakfast and
called on Jones to see how he was getting
along with his petition for postmaster.