Morning journal and courier., 1884-04-08
PEARLS OF THOUGHT.

A nsighboring paper, reporting a recon
l social, says: ''The opening piece was render
| cd by a mule quartette." The reporter wrote
it ''male quartette, 4" but the composisor knew
better Oil City Derrick.
An inquirer asks: Glow can tell clsssi
| cal music?'' That is easy enough. When
you hear every body applau1 and look rsliev-
cd after the piece is finished, then you can
know il is strictly classical.-New York
Graphic.
A test to reveal the existence of catarrh:
Repeat aloud the name of the novel ''Kenelm
Chiilinaly" 1t you can do this, and get in
no BIS or DIS, you are perfectly free frob ?
cold id the head and cad sig at a codcert.
|-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegram.
New York man Who was married in the
morning was q maniac before night. OF
course it is q shame to print this news during
leap year, but instances are known where
men have been saved heap of trouble by
being notified in time.-Philadslphia Chron-
iole- Herald.
He vas qnits lats arriving at a soiree given
by prominent belle, and he Immediately
sought her presence to apologize, and said:
II bsg thousand pard ons for coming SO
late" s'My dear sir," replied the lady graci
ously, s'no pardons are needed. You can
never come too late ''-Tsxas Stiftings.
Young wife: ''Desr. why are you eating Sc
much more of my cake than usual tonight
L. IL nicer than it was last nisht?'' Young
husband: "I-my darling-I-well, to tell
you the truth bet Toozle S. that weighed
more than he did, and We were going down
to the store to settle it to night. "-Burling-
ton Free Press
'Why do you keep getting up and going
out between the acts?" asked an unsophis
ticated country maiden of city cousin, with
whom she was attending the theatsr. 'Well,
H. L oSvl
telling you that am trying to combine the
delights of the evening dram and the evening
drama. Free Press.
$50 John has joined the silent majorityf"
said the parson to Mrs. Brown. Mr.. Cant
about" remarked the lady through her tears,
'tI guess you didn't know JohH. No; he'd
never jein no majority. He always did con
trive to be on the off side, and guess he'll
conirivs to be there in t'other world."-
Boston Transcript.
Not much of a reception: An Austin mer-
chant sent his clerk for the twentieth time to
the residence of a prominent citizen to col
lect bill. did you get anything" asked
the merchant on the return of the clerk.
Nothing at all. They told me to come into
the reception room, but didn't receive any
thing. Texas Siftings.
Amended Anecdote of HercuIes.-TLs
Hero Hercules, having observed that Augei
as, fFluco OF Ellis, naQ naQ IN h1S OtaDles
twelve thousand Oxen for twenty four Years,
was snitten with Profound Envy. which re
suited in Reform Movement, the
Cry, s'Turn the Oxen out" being
readily taken up by the Members of the
Agricultural Glasses, to whom the Hero had
promised Collapse of the Fertilizer Market
The Oxen having been turned out, Hercules
at once proceeded to turn in twenty -four
thousand of his own, and having reduced all
the Gnano Factories to Ipsolyencv, obtained q
lucrative Monopoly in the Market. This OPP
Grafton was known to the Ancients as the
Cleansing of the Augean Stables.
Post-Express.