The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-09-19

"Such singngln
=" But it was the best / could do"
"Then never try it again. Were you
singing for moneys"
mo, sir. l felt inspired by the cleo
trio lights, ana l was singing a song of
my own composition. Do you wish to
hear it, sirl'
We'll, you might MARBLE off verse
of it, but warn you in advance that it
may be to your detriment"
my song runs as follows:
ooh, light up the lights so lightly,
And place 'em on towers so high,
And let em shine brightly all nightly,
To show us the way to pass by.n
"Moses, shall send you up for thirty
days" said his honor.
! "Well, I'll go. That will give me
leisure time to make up new song
called The Dying Boy" This song be-
gins"
"Never mind"
"a dying boy lay on his dying bed,
And friendless friends"
"Biiah, remove the prisoner"
| Bijah seized him, but as Moses was
being led away his voice could be heard
/ saying:
" Friendless frlends-dcath's hand
gave gasp they gravely dug his
grave"
NOT THAT PLACE.
"Is this the place where l pays me
taxes" asked Dennis O'Leary, as Bijah
left him at the desk.
"What sort of taxes2"
on1 cit,- Toll
how much they are and I'll try and
! square up"
This is the place where you pay your
whisky and beer tax. Dennis"
"Ah, then, it was a mistake of mine
in coming all the way down here. It's
the city hall I'm after, your honor"
Maybe, but l thought it was the
workhouse."
"And what have l to do wild the wary
house, except to gaze on the outsitA Of
it?"
"Dennis, do you remember of being
drunk last night"
"Sure and don't. If | could remem-
Der every little thing in me life I'd be an
encyclopedia on legs"
"Well, you were arrested for drunken
ness"
GLOW can that be. when I've neither
cash or credit to get drunk on2 Sure,
your honor must be taking me for Patsy
McGraw. All but that Patsy is the
b'hoy to make things lively for you! If
he was here in me place bed give yer
honor chin-music till We thought a whole
band was playing in the alley"
"Dennis, you were drunk, and l shall
fine you five dollars"
"Hoot! but yell have to lend me that
same! It's more money than I've felt of
in month";
"Then you must 90 up for month. )"
"Take off thirty days, yer honor. It's
no great difference to yees, while it makes
considerable to me-"
Cant do it. ~
"Nlake it twenty"
"No.n
"Fiftcen."
''Not a day off, Dennis"
"1hen I'll never smile on we agin in all
my life. You've monopoly, judge, and
if the b'hoys don't boycott you then me
front name isn't Dennis, and I'm not the
victim of sordid capitalw
SOUNDED BETTER.
"You were were brought in like log
last night" said his Honor to Gibson
Smith.
"Was II Case of sunstroke, I pre-
sumo"
"Well, you'll have to take the conse-
quences just the same. Officer, how did
he act?n
''Too far gone to act, sir"
"Hopclessly drunk, eh2"
on Il IN out Ia fTr,
sir"
'I'm not in the habit of going around
with my tongue hanging out" indig-
nantly protested the prisoner
"Oh, well, it's all right. You were
drunk
II shall call it case of sunstroke,
sir"
you have the right, and it sounds
better to speak Of it that way. Your fine
is five dollars"
Can go out and borrow it,"
"No, sr.n
"Will you take checkl"
"No."
'Can pawn my coat to some one in
here!"
You can't. We do a strictly cash
business, and everything is warranted as
represented in the Free Press"
IF you are so very particular about it
I'll go up. That'll beat you out of S.,
anyhow"
"And if you give me any more impu-
dence I'll change the sentence to three
months Look out for me if you have
another sunstrokc! You've got the head
of bad man, and / shan't fool away any
time in giving you a litter"
GInNns In Ii M huninn