Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1884-03-22
PLUNKETT'S PREDICAMENT.
HOW ne cor A SUDDEN coRSsR ON cars.
And Discovered That Advertisements Are
g Always Read. nia
Evansville Argus.

Old Plunkett keeps apretty fail
store-that is as stores went twenty
years ago, but he is awfully behind
the times now. He. won't adver
tise, and says he "don't Believe IL
throwin' good money away a put
tim keerds and things in papers, .
He says that ''pe0ple all knows. he
keeps a store, and if they don't they
kin look at his sign and see. Most
OF the newspaper solicitors have
long since given him up as bad job,
but once in a while new man
tackles him.
The other day the solicitor Of the
Evansville August--they call it the
August because it is red hot paper
dropped in on him. -zf. r-.s
"Can we say anything in our pa
per about your stock, Mr.. Plunkett?''
said the solicitor, as he allowed u
sweet and engaging smileto illumi-
nate his face.
:. No, sir. You can't say nothin'.
Get out"
"Why, sir, Pm astonished at such
a reception, especially during the
dull season. when common sense
ought to teach a man that he must
hustle for trade"
SCOT as much sense ay you, sir. /
don't want nothin'. People don't
read no keerds or advertisin'.
II There's where you are mistaken,
SIR" said the newspaper man, and
then. as he thought of an old joke
he had once read about, he contin-
.ued, aifI put a squibs about you in
the poorest part of my paper and
make it free and you see that it
actually brings you into notoriety
among your fellow citizens, will yon
give me some reading matter next
week 2" :, 49, 80 - -ofs,-....
Now the expression "notoriety
among your fellow citizens" tick
led Plunkett as much as the "free''
part, and as he thought of getting
some advertising for nothing he
subdued his glee and SAID:
"Wali, don't keer. Go ahead
then, but | must be sure that people
read it.'' g
Thenthe solicitor bowed and went
out. and the next Saturday, away
Off i6 an obscure corner on an inside
page of the August, appeared the
following: sD
WANTED One hundred good
cats, must be large and healthy.
Deliver at my house December 81 +,
at 9 p. m., and receive one dollar
apiece. G.. w. PLUNKETT.
Plunkett didn't see this, for the
simple reason that he was looking
for a glowing article in the editorial
column-and, to tell the truth, the
news man didn't want him to see it,.
When the first newsboy came up to
get his supply of the August, the So
licitOr asked him if he knew where
there were any cats and said the
reason he asked was that he knew
how he could make some money il
he did. And then he showed him
Plunkett's advertisement.
"What did he put the card in
such small type for ?' said the boy.
"Why, you see," said the news
man, she don't want too many.
He wants just an even hundred,
and mind you he wants them exact
Iy at nine at night"
The boy showed the ad to his
chum and he to another, and the
boys all got TO talking of what soft
thing cats at dollar apiece were,
till before night every able-bodied
boy in Evansville knew about the
cats, and was making arrangements
to corral from one TO dozen on
New Years eve.
Theeyentful-for Plunkett-night
came. The old man went to bed
early and along about nine O'Clock
was sound asleep.
Suddenly there was a ring at the
bell.
"Thar is the bell, Mr.. Plunkett,"
said his wife, nudging him in the
ribs. a
"Wall, / don't keer," growled
Plunkett. "Let the hired gal go
down."
"She isn't here. She's gone to a
ball on Babytown hill"
"Whar's Erastus ?' sgs-,4
"Ras has gone to the maskiraid
at Leiderkranz hall. There haint
a soul III the house but we'uns, and
you'll hev to CO." I
So the old man went. grumbling
down and flung open the door, and
there stood small boy with a wa
ter works nose and a large yellow
eat with one eye under his arm.
"Here's yer cat, Mr.. Plunkins,"
said he. "He amt very pretty, and
he's only got one eye. but you bet
he's large and healthy, and that's
what yer card i'm the August said
you wanted.
81 don't want no cat. / never said
wanted none. Git out"
"Yes yer did, toO," blubbered the
boy. l seen it in the August; you
gimme my dollar"
"What dollar ?p
"That dollar you said you'd give
for cats, in the August"
~ never said no sich thing" and
he slammed the door too, locked it
and went up stairs. r
The boy started out of the gate
and he saw the boy of all Others
that he hated, coming along with a
black cat with rick-rack ear and
a stubby tail. It was the work of
a second to drop the yellow cat,
which Immediately scooted back
through the yard and climbed into
a grape arbor. a ~
"Did you sell your cat, Jimmy P"
"Did | ?" answered the first boy.
as he jingled knife, two keys and
a secondhand dog check in his
pocket, "you bet did, and got the
scads."
Boy number two rang the bell,
and PIunkett came down again, but
this time he didn't ask any ques-
tions. When he saw the cat under
the boys arm he just swore and
the door, and the boy in
rage slammed the cat after him and
cat number two hurried into the
back yard to find what the yellow
cat was bowling so mournfRlly
about. 4
This program was kept up for
an hour, till Plunkett finally re-
fused to apper at all. and the disap-