Connecticut western news., 1884-08-06
VOciculrurc.

Poor Mir Squibs had been nearly dis tracted by numerous friends of the othel sex asking why he did not sing.
 "Sieg," murmured MT 5, contem plativel5 gazing at the dog star, as he in the privacy of his own room, put botf feet out the open window. Sing :? , and the dog star winked comprehen sively.
 "I should like to know why not , External Squibs asked of Internal Squibs. Here there came Q knock al the door.
 "Come in !" howled Squibs.
 The door opened and the hero of the hotel came slowly in.
 "Ah, Billings, just the man wanted to see!'
 Indeed, what's up old man ?"
 "Tm paralyzed with an idea. Sit down" He did so, and in a low tone Squibs imparted his idea
 Had the room been lighted it would have been easy to see that Squibs' idea had equally pdralyzed Billings. Dark as it was, however, 1t was unable to hide the convulsive spasm which shook Billings frame.
 "What s the matter Billings ?" said Squibs anxiously, "are you often taken that way ?"
 Billings, after hunting vainly in each lung for his voice, cornered it rambling around in the lowest lobe and managed to gasp: "N-n-o-o, I believe not ; spasmodic contraction ot the diaphram, that's all :" ST.
 '" We'll, what's your advice upon the subject ? being on a glee club you ought to know"
 Billings calmly stroked his mustache and was not heard to murmur.
 "Well here's go," (Squibs singing). And once again the chair trembled too, and his sportive diaphram seemed to pull him all over it.
 But Squibs did not notice it. He was far, far away. He saw himself by the side of the fair Miss T. ... wrenching his soul with the heart breaking rhapso. | dies of "How can bear to leave thee, ' etc, etc, and his spirit seemed to float away, waiting itself on airy clouds. In all probability it would have continued to wait for some time had not Billings broken the silence by sigh which came tumbling up from his very boots.
 "Well Squibs, the way that all great singers like Campanini, and myself have reached their exalted position is by asiduous devotion to the following:
 Campanini, before retiring, would gargle his throat with mixture of goose oil and tartaric acid, in the proportion of four to one, in favor of the acid. This he maintained gave clearness, rich ness and votundity, in fact brought on 1 quite degree of sonorousness. While in this state of fexibility and resonance he would take a raw egg, beaten in milk and add about tablespoonful of rye whiskey. This he said put in tone and bracing-up generally. Now was the time to indulge in ten-minute vibra- ton doing the scales. To secure cor. rect pitch and an eveu vibration, he in. vested in silver tuning-fork, being thoroughly convinced that this was the proper metal for that delicate instru- ment. In regard to this use of the tun- ing fork, remember he used to make great point of the way it was snapped off He insisted it should be passed along the molars, back of the canine, and ending with the incisors As say, after the quivering of the scales was over, he would place an Eolian harp at the window and hum over the different airs suggested, until he fell asleep, gaining by this last operation rapid modulatIon and variety.'' With these words Billings rose tc depart.
 "Well Billings, am exceedingly oblig. ed for your advice and will profit by it. Must you go ? Don't be in any hurry" l But Billings evidently must go, as he walks rapidly toward the door, shouts " an reroi'', " and is gone. | Three or four days after the memora ble advice of Billings to Squibs, the oc cupants of the third floor of hotel decided to strike. They took the office by storm '"Either Mir Squibs must stop his musical labors or we go, was the universal howl
 The clerk said he would interview the struggling musician, and the strikers withdrew.
 That evening saw the clerk tapping upon the door of room 225, third floor.
 "Come in" came in wheezing tones through the key-hole.
 The clerk entered and beheld Suuibs stretched upon his sofa, with Turkish rug wrapped around his throat, and no. ticed an odor of Ponds extract and vas. elin.
 My dear sir, ;" began the clerk. 1 ''Don't say any more, :" gasped Squibs in Q voice like the clapper of a windmill, 1T know what you are going to-' and his voice cracked to C. "You have come to-;'' here MT s. paused and the clerk thought he was swallowing vinegar. "to complain of my musical assiduities, resumed Squibs, when he could persuade that chord to vibrate "But my dear sir, '" continued Squibs ir a trombonic tone, II assure you," gasp ing and snorting, "they," wheezing, "are over for-for-the-future." x