Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-03-05
His Niece.

MI. 81. =. DfOWn was III ~
frame of mind Mr.. j. I. Brown. on
the contrary, was as smiling and chip
per as a spring morning. Mr.. j. S.
Brown crooned moodily over the ledg-
ers and complained of the pale ink and
rusty pens, while Mr.. j. +. Brown
smiled and smirked, and hummed q
gentle lullaby over the pages of figures
Before him. IA. j. S. Browns counte-
nance was dark and forbidding. From
Mr.. j. f. Browns face there beamed
radiance which illumined every nook
and corner Of the counting-room.
"Humph" grunted Mr.. j. S. Brown,
bitterly.
"Ha, ha, ha," softly laughed Mr.. J.
+. Brown.
Brown" said Mr. j. S. Brown, lift
ing himself up from his desk and turn
ing around on his stool; "Brown, feel
called upon to reprove you for the friv-
olity you have exhibited during the past
week. You have neglected your work
you have arrived here late every
morning and left here early every after
noon-your business has been done in
a loose and incompetent manner, and
as a natural result our mutual interests
are suffering"
Mr.. j. +. Brown looked grieyed
Never before had he been addressed in
terms of reproach by Mr.. j. S. Brown.
"But, Brown" expostulated Mr. j.
f. Brown, ''you seem to forget that"
Il forget nothing" interrupted Mr..
j. $. Brown; Il am perfectly well
aware that you have new baby-daugh-
ter up at your house. How could / for
get it, when i am reminded of the fact
every fifteen or twenty minutes? A
daughter, Brown, is good enough, and
has, admit. certain advantages in her
way, but l submit, Brown, that n
daughter is no excuse for the excessive
levity and coltishness of which you have
been guilty for the past week"
I'LL don't understands" stam-
mered Mr.. j. T. Brown, blushing
deeply.
Il will be more explicit will ex-
plain," continued Mr.. j. S, Brown,
still maintaining an air and tone of
frigid austerity. "Since the birth of
your daughter you have been worldly and
ileshly in your manner and conversa-
tion Do you think it was in keeping
with your dignity to make your APP
pearance in this store that morning in
a condition bordering, / may say, upon
hilarityP Was it right that you should
execute secular saltatory movements up
and down this counting room while adj
vising our employees of the fact that
you had a spick-and-span new daugh-
ter? Was it proper that you should
subsequently invite us all out for q
lemonade and a cigar apiecep Have
l not heard you, every hour of the
day since that event, whistling-yes,
Brown will repeat with increased
vehomence-'Chtstling to yourself
certain lullabies and tunes supposed to
have been invented purely for the So
lace and edification of the cradle and
the nurseryp Need / remind you that
frequently when you should have been
making out invoices of canned toma-
toes and picked Goldfish, have found
you dreamily humming frivolous song
entitled 'Peek-a-boo' TO yourself? And
is it for me to recall that frequently,
when you should have been here re-
ceiving consignments of dried apples
and brown sugar, you have been sky
larking about town, squandering your
money for nursing bottles and parcgoric
and tin rattles and flummery of that
kind?n
"Ah, my dear Brown" sighed Mr..
j. +. Brown, sadly, ''you do not APP
preciate how sweet a boon ones daugh-
ter is to one"
There you go again" exclaimed
Mr.. j. $. Brown. "There YOU 90 again,
with your maudlin sentiment. Your
daughter, indeed! Brown, am sick
and tired of hearing eternally and ever
lastingly about your daughter. Your
daughter-your daughter-your daugh-
ter-t's the same old song from morn
ing till night, day in and day out!
well-oh, BAH"
And Mr. j. 5. Brown nearly choked
with chagrin and disgust, while Mr.. j.
+. Brown sat mutely by and nervously
bit his finger nails, and vainly tried to
keep the tears from brimming over his
cyelids.
"You seem to forget, Brown" said
Mr.. j. I. Brown, finally, very trcmu-
lousy, and very tenderly, "you seem to
forget that while she is my daughter she
is your niece"
Mr.. j. S. Brown started as if he had
been toying with the business end of an
electric battery. A new and bright idea
seemed to have dawned upon him. His
lower jaw fell, his eyes opened TO their
widest capacity, and look of combined
astonishment and pleasure crept over
his face. His whole appearance was
that of man before whose comprehen-
sion mighty revelation had been
spread.
"Brown," murmured Mr.. j. S. Brown,
family and unsteadily, "say it again
and say 1t slow"
You seem to forget repeated Mr..
j. L. Brown, "that while she is ma
daughter, she is at the same time youy
niece.
"Well, / snumm exclaimed Mr.. j. 5.
Brown, 81 never thought of Mai."
ut is, nevertheless, an incontroverti-
BILE fact" solemnly added Mr.. j. f.
Brown.
$50 ii Is, Brown, SO it isr' cried Mr..
j. S. Brown. "And am indeed an un-
Gle! Ha, ha, ha-an uncle-whoopee
Well close up the store-the clerks
shall have holiday-and, Brown, como
closer TO me, we'll have lemonade and
cigars all around till we can't rest
Your daughter, n,y niece-Brown, old
fellow, / congratulate your'-Denvey
Tribune.
Jennie Higgins, the girl reported