The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1884-01-12
A Tale Of Love In
1889.
ED. Mott in New York sun.l

have said 1T 50 loud, either, for the Sheriff, tt
whom he was apparently speaking, sat within
two feet of him. But the Old Settler had iusi
come in, and stood way over at the other side
of the room, by the door, where he was put
ting on his spectacles to read vendue bill
which had been pasted on the wall since his
last visit to the Crisslnan house He turned
sharply about as the Squire spoke. walked
forward and took seat by the stove. He
handled his cane nervously, and looked
straight at the Squire, who to all appear
ances was not aware that he was in
the room But the Squire winked at the
4 Sheriff, and then the boys knew that he had
spoken for the Old Settlers benefit. The lat
| ter said:
"Why, gudeven'n', Major, said the Squire,
IS If surprised to see him. "Gudeven'n'.
Well, it's gittin' toTable winterish out.
'Twont be long fore we hef to climb twixt
the blankets. Major. Hay!"
Did / un'erstan' you to say, Squire, ez
some un were goin' ter be hitcheda' said the
Old Settler. Eur didn't yer talk loud enough9
Ur be gittin' deefg"
'Oh, yes replied the Squire. ssYes. yes.
were sayin' to the Shurf, yer, tn I heerd az
the Widder--a-h-h-the Widder Crimhint
were gointer tie on agin''
! ''Oh, ye heerd SO, did ye!n said the Old Set
tier. "An' you was tellin' of it to the Shurf.
was yea Wull, now, Pm glad, b'gosh, th't We
toP me ye was talkin' to the Shurf, fur eff We
hedn't I'd thort to my dyin' day ez We was
whisperfn' of it to them fellers ez's campin'
two miles back yer long the Sh'holy! So ye
heerd ez the Wilder Crimfint were gointer
tie on agin, did yea Wull, s'pose she is?
Watts the Widder Crimfint III her TWINS on
/ got to do with me, b'goshtlmighty!
NNothn', Majort nothin'n replied the
Squire. ''Leastways, not now. An come to
think on it, they never did hev nothin' to do
with ye!''
An wat were the reasons fur why
bgosh q exclaimed the Old Settler, punctu-
ating his remaks with raps of his cane on the
floor "W'at were the reason fur why Ye
know durn well, Squire, thief it hedn't been
fur bars an some o. the tallet kinds O lyin'
Hungryfoot d tied to me, b'gosh, an she
wouldn't be tn Widder Crimflint now.
lookin' at her time O life fur another man,
an the third un at thatl Who's the fort,nit
| individjil as is goin'ter change the Widders
| name this time z"
| There was more anxiety felt by the Old
Settler than his fippant manner called for,
the boys seemed TO think, and they also
thought that the 'Squire's reply might have
been less aggravatingly deliberate.
"Um-m-m-let me see, said he; '1et-me-
see. Who did hear were the man 'Twa'n't
Lije Rouzsr! Oh, of course not. He's gointer
hitch to ole Bunny Jarvis wilder An BOYS,
that's gointer be hummer, that weddin' isl
It's sot down for Thanksgivin', an We wanter
scratch 'foun', Major an git an invite Lessee
--couldn't ben Job Tifnpson could it? Wull,
fhoI (t7,o0 Il l1of T
who it is ez is gointer marry the Wilder
don't see anyhow what's sot her mind on
hookin' on agin, for it 'twan't more'n month
ago that she tor me she wouldn't marry the
bas man livin'-oh, tell ye who it is, Maiorl
Pete Golip! Pete Golip's the lucky individiil,
Major!n
"Whatr' exclaimed the Old Settler, SPRING
ing to his feet. "What The Widder Grim
flint gointer marry Pete Golipg' The Old
Settler stood for minute with his cane
raised over the Squire's head. Then he slowly
lowered it, and resuming his seat, wiped his
face with his bandanna, and said calmly,
"Wull, s'pose she iss l reckon she's got
right to marry who she durn pleases, amt
she? She's old enough to know, b'goshr'
Yer right she isl" said the Squire, "but I
kinder thort ez how ye mowt a looked on it
ez bein' ruther sing'lar th't a gal-boys, I'll
jist hef to go back an tell ye the hull story,
an let ye jedge fer yerselfs whuther YOU
wouldn't think it was sing'lar fur tn Widder
Crimfiint TO marry Pete Golip, if yer was
the Major"
The Squire settled back in his chair.
cleared his throat, and was about to begin.
when thump. of the Old Settlers cane on
the floor bade pause
"Stop! said he, "Consarn ye, stop! It beats
the 'tarnal hills. b'gosh, how things Ill keep O.
turnin up jis' fur nothin' else, ez it pears to
me, than to turn sumpin' else up that folks
has furgot forty years ago. Now, Squire,
ef that story's got to be told yer tonight. I
telfit myself! I don't want no lies strung
inter it, ez has ben done fore now. l want
the dead fac's in that case put on record fur
wunst. So jes' keep yer tongue to yerself.
LII they's any reason fur ME to think the Wild
der Crinflint's goin's-on is sing'lar, boys, ye
kin all find it out by lstenin' to mean don't
ye take no stock in no durn mess O. trash ez
mowt be dished out to ye by some fellers ez
thinks they'n leetle bit smarter'n the COM
mon run o folks ez earns their money. an
don't depend on it, bgosh, by maxim out
war'nts an ish'in' summonses agin their
neighbors, an tryin' ev'ry drunken BUSH
whacker ez gifts in row fur 'sault an bat
teryn
This shot at the Squire only resulted in his
redoubling his winks at the Sheriff.
'sAll right, Major" said he. $50 in. I've
heerd the story more'n wunst, straight an
true Now, I'd ruther like to hear your wer-
sion of it. I'll kinder jog yer mem'ry, now
an then, to make it easier for ye Go In,
Major
The Old Settler waved the Squire's insin-
uations off with contemptuous swish of his
cane, and said
"On the Fourth O. July, 1889, they were
golnter be picnic in the bush, over back o.
Gumption Holler, an all that part O. the
county, an more, too, were gittin' ready fur
TO be on the carpet when she come off. Ole
Joe Hungryfoot an his wife an da'ter lived
at the Holler. Joe were the meanest man.
bgosh, ez ever peeled a hemlock, but he had
wife ez were hummer, an in them days his
dater Han were bout ez spruce chunk o.
female human natur' ez ever done her bes' to
find the red ear o corn at husxin'h
Her name were Hammer G.. Hungryfoot. n
said the Squire, nodding to the Old Settler, as
much as to say, "Tll give you lift on this n
Hammer r., but nobody never know'd what
tn: G stood for, but 'alluz s'posed it stool fur
Colt, fur she could everlastin'ly go it, and
wen she got goin' it, boys. you mowt jis az
well try to stop runaway mule afore he got
ready az to try an stop her till she made up
her mind TO. The Major, h,yer were all gone
to pieces over Hammer G., and so were Sol
Gable, little Pelig Potter, Lie Crimfiint, an
Pete Golip. Nobody couldn't tell which one
o. the five she had the sncakinest notion fur,
cause SON times it'd be one an then it'd be
t'other The time o. this picnic the Major is
speaIin' of, though, the Major ruther held the
winnin' hand agin tother four, 'eordin' to
The rav Hammer O. 1yara n laftin, of him