davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
Ii Came OF Hard.
"AiurCler =

'hurueri
This cry in a well-known hotel in
| Detroit the other afternoon, proceeding
from room on the third floor, caught
the ears of several chambermaids and
created Instant CONSERVATION.
"Oh Heavens !"
1t was the voice of n man who
shrieked the words from room No. 40,
and the chambermaids Mt once sent n
messenger to the office with the news
that murder was being committed.
''Don't kill me by inches y
These words alarmed others besides
the chambermaids, and the group of
three or four presently grew to be a
dozen. Who occupied the roomP One
of the chambermaids recolleeted of
seeing heetled browed man of Cen-
eral piratical look, accompanied by
woman closely veiled, enter No. 40.
Was he killing her ?"
"Oh oh you are killing mel"
1t was the voice of the man. The
veiled woman had got him in her
power, and seemed 20 be submitting
him To some sort or torture. Several
of the crowd knocked on the door at
once, and one of the chambcrmaids
demanded in falsctto voice thai il be
opened at once. There was IA ha! ha
from the yelled woman, and the voice
of the man cried out: "What, do Won
mock at my misery ~
A clerk came from the office and de
manded admittance in the name of the
law, the continental congress and sew
eral other things, and after some little
delay the door was opened and a
woman stood in the opening and asked
what was wanted.
whats going on in there-who's
being hurt ?"
''She laughed her ha ha again, and
1t was echoed by the voice of IL man
behind her
"What's all this about ?" shouted the
clerk.
"Why, sir,' she demurely replied, II
was pulling a porous plaster off my
husbands back"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
SqIIilIS.

Acoustic properties Ear trumpets.
A country seat-The milking stool.
A prominent lumbcrman has had his
coat of arms painted on the panels of
his carriage, with the Latin motto
"ridi," which, by interpre tatiOn is, 81
saw
"Sambo, kin you tell me why dey in
wariably take de pennies frem de chill
drcn ut de Sunday ~ "COurse
| kin. Dat is to get de cents oh de
meetin'."
Boarding house Keeper: "Why, how
deftly you carve the beef, Mr.. Smith.
You must be an adept" Smith with
grunt If exertion): "Yes'm, | am !;
Pm wordcarvcr by trade"
Mr. Burnand, the editor Of London
Punch, has eleven unmarried daugh-
teTs. We always wondered what it
was that made the old mans humOr 50
grave and melancholy. - Bur. Free
Press.
Glow is your boy coming on at
school p "IIe is quite an artist. He
is drawing live animals" $50 is my
boy, Bill. He drew cat up in tree.
He drew 1t all up by himself, too"
''Did he use crayOn - "NO: he used
rope"
An exchange says: "Thc price Of II
shave in Montana towns is twenty five
cents.' Spicer says he is glad the
pr ice is coming down in the West, for
in 81 he paid S2OO0 for ga shave" in II
/ Colorado mining town and keeps the
shaving paper as souvenir of the
sharp steal Boston Commercial Bull
/ letin.
A lawyer in eastern Connecticut,
whose reputation in the community
was not very high. met an old gentle
man, one day, aud said to him: "DO
you know, Mr.. Il, that | am a di-
rect descendant from Miles Standish p
.Is it possible - was the reply. "What
descent ~
/ elbow much are them Il quart ?" a
countryman asked as he picked up a
strawberry in fruit store and swal
! lowed it. "Fifty cents a piece"
"Whatl" !" shouted the cOuntryman
"Fifty piece. Try another; they're
nice and fresh" mo" he replied, as
he handed over half dollar. "I've
had all the stra vberries want"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
Pride In Ones Wife.

Yes" said old farmer Jones to a
traveller who was stopping with him
over night, "I've got as good wife
as any man in these parts, if | do say
it.n
al am not married myself" said the
traveller, 'but nevertheless | can ap-
preciate the pride which a husband
might take in a good wife"
''Why, stranger" went on the old
farmer, earnestly, give known that
woman to git up ut four o'clock in the
mOrnin', milk sixteen cows, and git
breakfast fer twenty men, an have the
hull thing done afore sunrise"
"YOu don't say So" exclaimed the
stranger.
"Yes, sir, and not only once, but
week in an week out, an you kin see
us well as kin that she amt IA strong
woman, nuther."
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
CHAs. CARPENTER. p. NJ.
St. Johnsbury Church Directory.

AdUeHt-Paddock Village. Sabbath Services at
1890 IA. M, l:I5 and 6:3O p. M. Sabbath School
- M. Prayer Meetings at 7:3O p. m. Sunday, Tues
day and Friday evenings.
BdptiSt-RailrUad Street. Corner Mape Rev
+. 1. Sandlord. Pastor Preaching IO:jo ,. NJ. ).
School l. NJ. Prayer meeting $50. Prayer meet
ing Wednesday evening at 1890.
Free BdptiSt- Main Street. Corner Prospect
sabbath services, 1880 AN, and $50 z. Sabbath
school at IL N. Prayer meeting Wednesday even
ng at 1880 Rev. ID. II. Adams pastor.
Church Of the NeSSiah-( UniversalistJ Eastern
avenue corner Cherry street. Sabbath services,
at l;45, $50 p. NJ Sabbath School at l23u p. NJ.
Wednesday evening meeting at 7;JO. Rev. &. W.
Jenkins, pastor.
MethodiSt-Central street. Rev. f. W. Culver.
Pastor Residence next to the Church. Sab
bath services at 1890 A. NJ, and $50 +. Sabbath
school at IL Wednesday evening meeting at
1870.
North CongregGtionaI-Main street, corner OF
Church. Rev. Henry W. Jones Pastor. Sabbath
services at 1880 A. M, aud $50 =. 81. Sabbath
School at las p. N. Wednesday evening meeting
AT 1880.
South CongregationGl-Main street. Rev. Ed
ward 1. Fairbanks. Pastor. sabbath services at
1880 A. NJ, and $50 p. NJ. sabbath School at IL NJ.
"Wednesday evening meeting at 1870.
Prssbyterian Chureh- Eastern A venue. Rev W
Il. Laird, pastor sabbath services at 1880 II M.
and $50 p. Sabbath school at II NJ. Pray er
meeting Wednesday evening 7:3O.
81. 4HdreW'S-t EpiscOpaI) Main street, Rev
+. =. Fisher, Rector. Services on sundays at
1880 Il. M, and p. Wednesdays at $50 p.
sunday School, at L. IN.
Roman CathoLc-Cherry Street. Rev. j. a.
BOissunnault. Parish Priest. Mass and 10 ;
Nespcrs aud BeBediction at 3 p. Tn the
second sunday OF the month, service at $50 a.
and p. IN. At LyndOnylle same day AT 1880 a. m.
Y. u. g. A.-MeetiDgs at the hall of the Y. NJ. G.
A. Main street, Sunday mornings at $50 Satur
day evenings at 7dO Young Mems meeting sun
day at 30 p. Noon meeting every day at
rooms Main street.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
He Was "a Traveller.

lie was a nobby traveller.
\ drummer from New York.
Who never eat his pie unless
He did it with a fork
One day he saw pretty girl,
Upon the through express"
Who couldn't get the window up,
And seemed in sore distress
"Ah, Miss, permit me. " and he flew
To help the fair young girl;
He fixed the window and began
His fine mustache tn twirl.
And smiling like a son of Gaul
(The French are always sweet,
He asked if he could occupy
A portion of the seat
She let him in-she sized him up
She shook her pretty fan,
And said TO him in dulcet tones
Amt you travelling mani"
Yes Miss he answered sweet and low,
And reached out for her tan.
But is it such a grievous sin
To be a travelling mani"
Il reckon not, h" she made reply,
But father seems to think,
'TwiXt bad and worse the traveller makes
The great connecting link.
Hes out there ON the platform now.
And looking pretty blne,
SO if you are travelling man
You'll travel p. d. q"
MORAL.
He travelled.
Merchant Traveller.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
The Blessed season.

Rejoice! tbs the season of loving,
The beautiful season OF giving;
The wish every spirit is moving
To make brighter and richer our living
With the love of the Christmas time.
We tell over again the sweet story
Of the Child Of the promise so holy,
Whose life was a mission of glory,
Who alike blessed the lofty and lowly
With the Joy of the Christmas time.
And so the sweet impulse is given,
Love wOrketh in hearts as a leayen,
Bonds sorCiid and selfish are riven,
And earth seemetn nearer to heaven
With the peace of the Christmas time.
Il Abbie NJ. Gannett. in Cambridge Tribune
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
How To spoil Things.

TO spoil steak Fry it.
TO spoil tea or coffee Boil it.
TO spoil custard--B Bake it too long.
TO spoil house plants Water them
too much.
To spoil butter-Do not work out all
the milk.
70 spoil a carpet-Sweep it with a
stiff, halfworn broom.
To spoil pancakes Bake them Oil a
lukewarm grIddle.
TO spoil bIeakfast--Grumble all
the while you are eating.
TO spoil potatOes-Let them lie and
soak i'll water after boiling.
To spoil scissors-Cut everything
from a sheet of paper to bar Of cast
iron.
70 spoil a pair of garments in their
making Cut them out carelessly and
run all the seams.
To spoil a wife-Find fault.
To spoil ehildren-HumOr them in
every thing they happen to think they
want.
TO spoil school-Change teachers
every time some one in the district
finds fault.
To spoil bread-Use poor -four and
sour yeast, and let it rise until too
light and it runs over.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
st. Johnsbury n Lake ChampIain Railroad
Dec 10, 1884
TRAINS EAST.
TRAINS WEST.
st. Johnsbury Post Office.

Commencing Nov. % the mails will close at the
Post Office follows:
GaSsumpsic X. Il. Way Mail South, 900 a. III
No Danville, II 20 Il. M
81. j. a l.. e.. r. Il. Way Mail, East, II 20 a. III
St j. Il l.. {. X. Il. Way Mail, West, 400 p. M
Passumpsic X. X. Way Mail. North, 400 p. IN
West Concord and ST j Johnsbury East, 400 p. III
atertOrd W. Watf and l.. WatTd, 400 y. IN
Boston, New York, Conn. X. Val. Mail, 500 p. N,
Northern and Montreal mail 500 D. III
Mail will be collected from the boxes at Paddock
village and Railroad street at 800 a IN and ) Is
y. m. Box at Railroad street will be visited at 7.3O
p. m. usual
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
ST. Jobnsburv Athenmum.

Library and Reading -ROOm,-Free to all. Oper
from Q A. N. to II NJ; from 20 p. NJ aud from
to IL Saturday evenings.
Art GdlIerV-Open Tuesdays and Fridays
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
st. JohnsbnrY Centre.

Congregational - - Pastor. Sun.
day services at II a. NJ, and 500 Z. NJ. Sabbath
School at IL NJ. Wednesday evening meeting at
30 p. NJ
MsthodiSt-Rev j. W. Bemis Pastor. Sunday
Services at IL A. NJ. and $50 p Sunday School al
L. NJ. Thursday evening meeting at 100
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
East st. ,Johnsbury.

COHgTegdtioHat-Rev. j. N. Walker, Sunday
services at l0.Ij a. IN. and $50 p. m. Sabbath
school at ZOO Wednesday evening meeting al
100.
MethOdist.-Supplied by Rev. Z. W. Culver
Sunday services at 30 p m.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
Telegraph Ofice.

JOhnsbuTy House. Open from a. m. to y.
sundays, t" 10 .. H., ) to p. Night messages
at half rates.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25

SIR. Huxley's daughters are said to
be among the prettiest girls in London.
This is slightly ambiguous, as the
same thing might be said of the old
geDtleman's sOns.--( Burlington Free
Press.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
Wire Staples and Punches

Jsst tbs thing tor fastening together legal doeu-
ments. uaHuscripts pamphlets, etc For ale at
the CAleSoniAn Office n
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
WEDDINa RINas

Come and see the ladies' and
gents gold watches and notice
the latest and best styles of
engraving on the cases, which
is all done by hand. Don't
forget, when you are in the
store to look over the
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25

forget, when you are in the
store to look over the
SILVER WARE,
Cake baskets, Water sets,
Children's cups and sets, But
ter dishes, Tea sets, Knives,
Forks, Napkin rings, Berry
spoons, Gravy ladies, Cake and
butter lnives, sugar spoons,
etc. The solid silver ware is
all sterling fine and every thing
manufactured from silver can
be found in the show cases.
Napkin rings from 75c to
81. Tea, table and dessert
spoons, and an endless variety
Of fancy articles in elegant
cases for holiday gifts.
| shall open to the public a
finer assortment of
GIFT BOOKS
in fancy bindings than 1 have
ever been able to procure be-
fore. Fancy box stationery
toilet cases, work boxes, GLOW,
boxes, etc. | have all the nov
elites of the season and will b,
pleased to show them to al
who come.
T. G.. SPENCER'S,
! Railroad Street
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25

A step toward Coda noble deed.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
ST. cJuhmsburp Galrdunian.
G. NJ. STONE & CO,
PUBLISHERS.

Opposite the AtheneuHn, ~. .Johnsbury. Vt.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
8Hsinrss Gards.
w. C. L z w I S

w. c. LEW WIS,
Agent for Vt. Mutual Fire Insurance Co W n
attend to ENPrations and collecting assessments
in st. .iOhnsbury. Concord and Victory. Reliable
Insurance at low rates. Call on or address hun at
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1884-12-25
MORAL.

He Travelled.
Il Merchant Traveller
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-10-22
A Sad story.

In New York last week a hand
some woman showing many traces
of refinement, was a prisoner IN the
Yorkville Police Court to-day, char
ged with being drunk and disorderly
She was Miss Mary Hoyt, daughter
or the late jesse Hoyt. the million
aire, and she recently figured in the
court as contestant of her fathers
will. Yesterday afternoon she Ell.
tered the New Haven Railroad wait.
ing-room at the Grand central depot
with a paiasol in one hand and q
satchel In the other. Officer Hagan
was ON du.y there, and Immediately
she began to berate him for not hav-
ing at one time arrested servant ol
hers when she asked him. He tried
to put her off, and she replied. Then
after some forcible language, she
struck him over the head with her
parasol. The assault was witnessed
by policeman Reynold, but Miss
Hoyt was allowed to leave the room
although she had assured Hagen
that she would have him "broke.
Then she went to the Nineteenth
sub-precinct, mistaking it for tele-
graph Office, and was there arrested
She was fined $40, and then taker
in charge by DR.. Tausky, hel
physician.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-10-22
The Conscience Fund.

The contributions to the con-
science fund of the treasury in the
last fiscal year amounted TO over
5000. This fund has, since its
establishment twenty years ago,
amounted to about s250,000. For
some years past it has averaged from
5000 to $1,000 a year. The term
conscience fund " was originated
by Treasurer Spinner. One day dur
ing the war he received letter at
the treasury department from a man
who enclosed a check for $500.
saying it represented a misappropri-
alton of government funds of which
he had been guilty while quarter
master in the army. Suppose we
call this u contribution to the con-
science fund and get it announced
in the newspapers, and perhaps we
will get some more" he suggested.
The announcement was made, and
the treasury became the recipient of
such funds. The largest contribu-
ton ever made was $4,000, forward
ed by an ex-revenue gauger from
Chicago. as the amount ola bribe re-
celved by him from distillers who
desired TO defraud the government.
The smallest was nine cents, for.
warded by a Massachusetts man,
who remembered that he had at one
time. years before, used a marked
3-cent stamp on a letter In order to
relieve his conscience, be sent three
times the original steal, which he
thought was a fair compensation.
Many of these contributions come
from persons who have smuggled
goods. The majority Of these are
from women.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-10-22
A Journey TO the sun.

As to the distance of ninety-three
million miles, a cannon ball would
travel it in about fifteen years. II
may help us to remember that at
the speed attained by the limited
express on our railroads, a train
which had left the sun for the earth
when the Mayhower sailed from
Delthaven with the Pilgrim Fathers,
and which ran at that rate day and
night, would in 1854 still be a Jour
ney of some years away from its
terrestrial station. The fare, at the
customary rate, it may be remarked,
would be rather over g, 800, 0,0O00, so
that it is clear that we would need
both money and leisure for the
journey.
Perhaps the most striking Illus
tration of the suns distance is given
by expressing it in terms Of what the
psychologists would call velocity of
nerve transmission. II has been
found that sensation is not absolute
ly instantaneous, but that it occu-
pies a very minute time to travel
along the nerves SO that if n child
puts its finger into the candle, there
is q certain almost incouceivably
small space of time, say the one
hundredth of second, before he
feels the heat. In case, then, a
child's arm were long enough to
touch the sun, it can be calculated
from this known rate of transmits
sion that the infant would have to
live to be a man of over a hundred
years before it knew that ITS fingers
were burned.-Prof s. p. Langley,
an the Century.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-10-22
Crossing OF Merinos For Wool and
Mutton.

Following the lead of Mr.. c. Hills
| venture to offer few remarks as
to the best mode of crossing on meri-
nos for mutton sheep. | scarcely
think the Downs, any OF them,
would answer well, as they are not
very large. and they approach too
near the merino in denseness aDd
fineness of fleece | have used the
Downs on Leicester and their grades
with advantage in producing finer
wool for family use.and also superior
mutton but the sheep that pleased
me most of all for general use was
obtained by using a pure Cotswold
ram on pure Southdown ewes. The
result was a finely-formed sheep of
excellent quality of mutton, with
dense, moderately long, crinkled
wool. of great lustre and fineness.
The fleece OF a lamb accidentally
killed by dogs in the fall) weighed,
when well washed in warm water,
III pounds. Now | feel confident
that the Cots would cross equally
well on the merino, giving the pro-
duce the size and aptitude to fatten
desired for a mutten sheep, and pro-
ducing a fleece of good, serviceable
and lustrous wool, which, if pro-
duced in sufficient quantities find a
market for the manufacture of GER
tain classes of goods. The whole re-
gion interested should adopt one
standard of crossing, so as to make
the produce of wool uniform. 1t
won't do for one county to use Down
rams, another Cotswolds, and still
another Lincolps or Leicesters, as a
nondescript clip will result that
buyers will not care to handle. Mr..
]. Harris, of Rochester. used Cots
void on merinos with the very salts
factory results mentioned by Mr..
Hills. If in a few generations the
sheep get too coarse to suit the mar
ket, cross back on a merino or a
Southdown cross would do the work
and add to the quality Of mutton
l write from personal experience,
having handled cross-bred sheep
for twenty-five years, bred simply
for good mutton and wool for family
use. But mind one rule. never use
grade rams. Ifyou do you will not
be able to name the progeny, they
will be so various.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-10-22
WHOLE NO. 1856.
The Little Savage.

About the time when baby begins
to put away monkey manners and
to stand on two feet like a man, he
begins to show, in very marked
degree, the characteristics of savage
tribes. For two or three years OF
this part of his life the best baby is
little savage. He may be said TO
be more or less on the grab (I
object to slang Us much as any man,
but really there is no other way of
describing the tendencies exhibited
at this stage Of bahy's career.) Ii
he has small brothers or sisters, or
both, he is always more or less at
war with these neighboring savages.
If ne is deprived of anything he has
come to regard as his property, quite
mistakenly it may well be, or if he
sees in the hands of his small kins-
folk any goods or chattels which
seem pleasing in his eyes, he has but
one way of expressing his wishes !;
he goes for the possession of the de-
sired object, using his hands as weap-
ons if he has no others handy, bu!
bringing down a stick, or brush, or
book, as the case may be, on the
head of his enemy with all the zeal
of Figian or an 0iibbeway on the
war-path. Girl babies are pretty
nearly as bad as boy babies in these
matters, only the girl savage differs
from the boy savage as much as
savage woman differs from savage
man. Of course there are many
baby boys and baby girls who show
little tendency to savagery, just as
there have been many uncultured
races of man who have been gentle
and innocent. But the quiet babies
are always weak and unhealthy. la
the struggle for existence they sue
cumb before their more ferocious
brothers, just as the quiet ard gen
tie savage tribes perish before their
tomahawk- k-hourishing, spear-throw-
ing, club-wielding neighbors.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-10-22
Various Kinds of Time.

A gentleman rode up TO small boy
sitting on the fence in front Of his
home and inquired if he lived
there.
81 try to, was the response.
well my boy, can you tell me
wha; time il is f: / want to know
what time it Is can you tell me p
yes, kin | wuz in the house
just five minutes ago, and the old
clock wuz pintin' at H."
What kind of time do you
have?"
"Oh, us have all kinds"
"But | mean do you have solar
time or standard time ?"
That's what | said. We have all
kinds"
Il don't understand YOU"
well, come 10 our house and live,
a while and yer'll learn. My sister
Sal, she has standard time-that's
the clock the hired girl has sun
time-that's watching the shadders
and pap and nam has a ID OF a
;ime-that's what they're doin' in
there now. and I'm settin' on the
fence till they ge: her reggerlated
By gosh, you hadn't better wait
roun Jere if you don't want to hear
suthin strike, an strike mighty durn
hard"
The man rode rapidly away and
the boy kicked another plank off
the fence.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1884-10-22
So Had He.

The late Professor Duncan, Of St.
Andrews. was, prior to his appoint
ment 20 MS chair. rector Of an acad-
emy in Forfarshire. He vas partic-
ularly reserved in his intercourse
with the fair sex, but in prospect OF
obtaining a professorship, he ven
tured to make proposals to a lady.
They were walking together, and the
important question was put without
any preliminary sentiment or note
or warning. OF course the lady re-
piled by a gentle MOI" The sub
ject was Immediately dropped, bu.
the parties soon met again.
"Do you remember" at length
said the lady, "a question you put
TO me when we last net2'
The professor said that ne remem-
bered.
"And do you remember my az
swer, Mr.. Duncan ?"
"0h, yes said the professor.
We'll, Mr.. Duncan proceeded
the lady, Il haye been led
on consideration to change mymind
And SO have l." dryly responded
the professor.
He maintained his bachelorshiI
to the close.