Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-07-19
BRIGHT BITS.

THAT'S what / call TTsite a Ia ta-td," SAID
a well known gourmet, when nne trout es-
capped from his hook as he was on the point OF
landing it.-PHRch.
ssYoU have one, Mr.. Brush she said, with
her usual charming sOHDc0n OF acerDity' Out
there is nothing TO prevent your having two
spoons If you really need them" Il DO. he
said solemnly. "When | am near you feel
just two spoon-y for anything. '-GIdsgo'o
EUeRing Times.
AN HEssENTIAL CHANGE.-The union be-
tween the Grand Duke of Hesse and Madame
de Kalmine has been finally and conclusiFely
severed. so that in future the lady VIII be ms
spouse neither in HesSe nor IN posse II the
Grand Duke were a wag, he might say, NV hat
/ used TO Kal-mine Kal-mine no longer. -
Funny Folks.
MAMMA, il you will believe it," laughed
a pretty girl on her return from the picnic,
''the boat jolted as we touched the wharf ana
threw me right into the lap OF young gentle
MANI ''Whyp was the hOrrlhed reloln-
derf what did you do?" IL asked him II
he would please excuse my landing a little
prematurely ?n-BurliHgtoa Free Press.
"IF were you and you were me-"
A bashful sutton said;
''What would you dO?" and quickly he
Then turned away his head
She laid her little hand on his,
and like Lots wife looked back;
Then plump upon his blushlng phlZ
Bestowed a rOusing smack.
who is also a candidate for the Presidency,
was applauded to the echo. when the uproar
had subsidized he said: Il would-tapplause)
| would suggest CHEERS. Suggest that
CHEERS and applanse). That the tremen-
dous applause). That the wln-(repeated
storms OF applausel. That the windows be
opened. Chicago Rambler.
A letter from an Indian lad who had gone
to farm work from the Carlisle school IS
printed in the Morning Star Carlisle, Penn-
sylvania,) as follows: VERY did work and
threes fence / work pillow and all l can work
and cows l work milk and very be JOY merry
white man, and he told me and he said daily
very YOU working he said and April u DAY
and you can dollars he told me the near
and he give 10 me and SKIS no IS ana from 1
sorry heart. sense slow and two dollars no Q
he give to me and very much WORK we uIu
can. He lie"
Evervthins points to one of the hottest
political campaigns the country has ever
seen, and the wives of pnen who take an inter-
est in elections had better force their nus
bands to chop enough klndling WOOD our
ing the summer to last until November. They
will find it hard work to keep the men IN the
house when the tOrchlight procession season
commences.-PhiLadel Chronicle Herald.
FARMER JoHN-''Mary, the new hired man,
YOU know, is a German. Well, he says ne Is
personally acquainted with DR.. Koch, the
great scientist, and once did him such great
favor that he knows DR.. Koch VIII be glad 70
reciprocate." Mary-"Well, dear, what OF
some cholera germs" Horrors! John, are
you crazy?" ''No, dear; but you know Cousin
Sue in the city is determined to come here
with her nine children for three-months
visit. Now. either we have got to take her or
catch the cholera. Which do you prefer"
'Send for the cholera, John. "-PhIddelphtd
can.
BEN BUTLER AS MAUD MULLER
Ben Butler. on a summers day,
stood in convention making hay:
The hay was sweet and the hay was dry,
But it wasn't as cooked as old Ben's eye,
For old Ben saw on a gedlBg gay
Ju ge Nomination ride that way.
When the Judge saw Ben in the hay at work
He stopped his horse with a sudden jerk,
And he rolled his eyes on the winsOme lace
And the buXOm form and the airy grace
Ana the wealth of cheek and the mesh OF mar
OF sweet Ben Butler a-working there.
''Oh," sighed the Judge, "that the fate were
mine
| To wed with creature so divine!
| With Ben for a mate, my life would seem
| Like a poets song or an artists dream;
| But when they heard of my marital pick
| How like a steer my folks would kick"
| So, fearful OF what his folks might say,
| Judge Nomination rode away,
| And left Ben Butler standing there
| With her wealth of cheek and her mesh OF
hair;
| And of all sad words of tongue and pen
1 The saddest are these-t'He wouldn't have
Ben" -Chjcd0O Ne10s.