The Press., 1884-07-03

terprising newspaper writer, who l. up several columns of one of the New l DIX great morning dailies of each Sunday with his ideas of various matters, came home on the Baltimore and Ohio special newspaper train from Chicago. His idea of the con- ductor of the train is first class. They were nineteen hours between Chicago and Washington, and the conductor kept awake all the way For twenty consecutive min utes they made a mile @ minute. The whole run was like the flight of @ comet. Part of the time the traveller rode on the locomotive to get a better sense of the speed. The result of his experience is that he concludes the engineer is good way behind his business. This certainly is in- teresting. The conductor whe kept awake for nineteen hours is the true hero of the trip; the engineer didn't amount to much. We doubt if he was really asleep, but very likely he was tacitllrn, kept looking out of the window, "puttered' with the ma- chinery, and acted just as if he was more interested in the locomotive than ill the passenger. To be sure, he did run a mile minute but still, from a conversational point of view, he was "way behind his business, and 1t was with pleasure that tho company of the real moving spirit of the trip, the affable conductor was sought again. An engineer who is going a mile q minute can't even stop to take something. She sighed for scion of noble race;
 A Count or Duke she madly longed for; h Snd cried for Baron till her pretty face
 No serenader would have songed for.
 She sighed for scion of noble race,
 Until one day there came panic, And pa of his money ne'er more saw trace :; Then Sal she married mechanic -LoussUiUe Courier Journal.
 When medical science admitted that Rheu- matism and Neuralgia had their seat in the blood it remained to find successful remedy for the poisonous acid which caused them. That remedy has been found. It has been named ATHLoPHoRos, which is Greek word composed of athlom prize, and phero, to bear away, that is ''bearing away the prize" And this it does both in promptitude and final ef- ficiency. Says Mrs. Eliza Evans, of Upper Derby, Delaware county, Penn.: ''After the third dose of ATHLoPHoRos I rested better than had done for months"
 NY. Journal: Young grammarian-''No ; you cannot say the shad has risen.' Altho' it sounds ungrammatical, you will be quite correct in saying the shad has roes.'"
 DA1RYMEN PREFER Ir-Messrs. Wells. Rich ardson & Go. Since the introduction of your Improved Butter Color among my cus- toners, it has given universal satisfaction. The leading dairymen of this section who have used it give it the preference over all other colors, of whatever name or nature. They are especially pleased with the fact that it does not become rancid, like other oil col ors and their product brings highest prices in | market. w. $. NAY, Druggist. Underhill, vt., April 5 1882.
 A burglar got into the house of lawyer the other day. After terrible struggle the lawyer succeeded in robbing him.
 COLUMBIA RIVER CANNERY.-Mr. George Home, one of the largest canners of fish, on Columbia River, Oregon, says that he suffer- ed with rheumatism for seven years, having spent six months at Arkansas Hot Springs, and at Paso Robles Springs, Cal, four months in every year, without benefit Finally he l tried St. Jacobs Oil, the great pain-cute, and 1 in short time all stiffness and soreness of the joints disappeared.
 N. Y. Graphic: A western paper says ''Mr. Meeker, of Argo, Col, has duck that laid an egg with nickel embedded in yolk 3 This is not freak of nature. It is Califor- mia newspaper lie.
 IT IS NOT BEST to always believe everything that person tells you, but when you hear Sthat the best blood purifier is Sulphur Bitters, you can believe it, for they cured me of se- were case of blood poisoning
 REV. A. FA1RoH1LD, New York City.
 REWARD TO ENTERPRIsE.-Five years ago, James Pyle of New York, first introduced his celebrated Pearline to the public, and now the name of Pearline is everywhere house. hold word, and millions upon millions oi packages are annually consumed by our intel ligent housekeepers.