National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-05-29


The wise man avenges injuries by bene.
fits.
COOP will subdues its opposite, as water
does fire.
THERE are three things that women
throw away-their time, their money, and thelr
health.-Maddme Geo0rin,
at is a wise man who knows his own
business" Yes, and It is IA wiser man who de-
votes his whole time to attending to 1t.
BARRIERS always have mirrors in front of
the chairs in their shops in order to enable their
victims TO see how man looks being talked to
death.-AerchGm Traveller.
The Boston Spirtualists are going to spend
a matter OF $4,000 on u temple. 1t is suggested
that they might be able to "materialze tempt,
much cheaper.-Hdrtord Post.
MARY ELLEN CHASE says there will BE-
three women to one man in Heaven. Wa
know who the man il likely to be but for the Ifs
of us can't place tho three women.-Pcorid Trans.
| cript
They continue TO add stories TO the tall
| tenement buildings In Now York. The last is us
ually the story of the buildings destruction by
| fire and the roasting Of the Manifestation
Transcript
| BEECHER said in his last sermon "If some
| angelic reportorial hand could write the mothers
| fancies of her lid, with all her maginlngs and
her thoughts, it would be fit reading for the
library Of Heaven"
| "WHAT sort of place is that pap" asked a
! little boy of his male parent while they were out
walking. "Thats beer garden" Ididn'tknow
beer grew in gardens" There is great deal Of
| it raised in gardens my son."-Tcrds SgttngS
| THERE Is a large watertank on the top Of
tho Philadelphia Record building. In cleaning it
| the other day the engineer found a number of
| full.grown ees and catfish in 1t. It is supposed
| that they originally came from the Schuylkin
| river
FIRST cabman--"What did you charge that
stranger for driving him around the corner to tho
| hotelY Second cabman-"I charged A.9l"
'Si07? That is a queer figure. Why didn't you
make It an even S5?" because SI.97 was all he
had"
PERSONS who write communications for
the press, saying what they ready to do for the
good of the country, should always sign their
names guarantee of good faith. There is too
| much anonymous manhood in the world.-NetD
orleans Picdvune
The number of preachers buying Western
| Union in these days Is astonishing. The tape ID
continuously dotted with the broken lots of in !
vestment stock. Sundays collections In all the
churches were poured into Wash. Connors office !
yesterday mornlng.-Wah Street NetOs.
"PAP, how was Adam when he was borDed?'
| HE was man, ana as large as man when
made.n Then he never didn't have any boy !
fun, did her" "No." "And right away got
marrlcd?" "Yes" Good gollyl No wonder he
never laughed none."-Kentucky STATE Journal.
'IF you will oblige me and Jesus" he said,
"come right to the front seats" The words arc,
those of an English evangelist endeavoring to
cleanse the Augean stables at Cincinnati. Tho
modesty eviuced in the intimate association OF.
personalities reminds many of Harrison, the boy
preacher
"OF what nationality is our landlady?"
asked a Newman man of a fellow boarder, while
they were waiting for their usual morning hash. /,
~ don't know" replied the other, "but from thei
appearance Of the kitchen and her clothes, 4
should judge her to be II native OF Greece
Nttmdn hdependenL
LITTLE child who was playing near a
bonfire suddenly iripped and fell into the flames.
sportsman happened to be passing, and his
high-bred dog jumped into the flames and pulled
the child out. The frantic mother came swoop-
ing down from the house screaming: SIS he hurt?
Is he hurtg Dang 1t, yes, ma'amW exclaimed
the sportsman, who arrived at the spot just before
sne did don't you see the featherng is all
burnt off his tail,-Free Press.
UP the stairs to the room where an editor
sat
Came a maiden one bright day In May.
Der n fourdollar bang doomed a sugar-scoop hat,
And the rest of her clothes were o. X.
In her hand was a story. The editor grim
Touched panel-wide open it sprang,
Grabbed the maiden her bonnet and four-dolaI
bang,
Leaving only the story for him.
AN old clergyman helpless cripple and
poor, some years ago lent money TO poor student
of one OF the largest New England colleges to
} help him through his course, taking note in
, | nv a rel
, relative refused to pay He is IAN eminent
Christian" in his own town, and for many years
; has protested entire specification. The clergy
man writes to the Independent for advice, and 10
told TO invoke the law to compel the indorser OF
the note to pay the whole debt.
PRESIDENT WHITE tells the Cornell Alumni
0 association that he sees real improvement in
university life within the last fifteen years. He
G thinks that many folies and absurdities, which
used to pass unchallenged because public opinion
| outside OF college was not brought to bear upon
| them, have been scorehed aud shriveled out OF
{ existence by popular indignation uttered through
the press. He expects to see the maltreatment OF
o fellow students the insulting of professors, and
Y the attempts by classes 10 discipline the faculty
' entirely eliminated very soon from tho colleges.
KATE FIELD is very angry at Folt, Nor
5 mon elder. He once told her in Boston, that no
r Mormon prRctced polygamy without the consent
# of the first wife, that women did not object TO po-
5 lygemy and that polygamous families were filled
: with the spirit Of peace She finds, on visiting
= Salt Lake City, that his matrimonial career is not
proof of happiness incidental TO celestial mar
n rlage. She declares that when he said that women
n never complained of polygamy and lived har-
4 monlously in It, he quite forgot his mothers ex-
4 perience that OF his fathers plural wives, aud lost
r sight of his own second wiie's broken spirit.
d Upon one occasion there appeared before
o q ballet master a venerable and haggard female
v who expressed desire TO become member OF
% the masters corps of coryphees. "And pray,
~ madam" quoth the ballet. master, what is your
ge?" Hobbling close to the ballet-master the
,r ambitious crone whispered mysteriously. II
n danced with Miriam the banks of the Red sea-
y "That being the casen replied the prudent man,
is "you are hardly old enough to Join modern
n ballet Go aud sing in the chorus Of the Boston
N ideal Opera company for few centuries and
b. then my heirs will BIO able to consistently give
k, you situation as u coryphee"
- GLOW many times did the clock strike,
- lovey, the last timer" asked the spoony swain a
"a the Sunday night picnic. 1.-TWO times deary,
n answered the fur dove as she gathered herself
st closer to his paper shirt front and his 81 da-
'g mond solitaire. "Why2' "Oh, cause" "Does
ir my darling old honey bunch want to leave hi;
50 little angel so soonyT "oh no, but every hour
10 imagine hear the manly tread Of your choleriC
l. papa coming down the stairs" "But he dom