The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-05-09
NO 45 DEER LODGE, MONTANA, MAY g. 1884
WHY WE LAUGH.
The age Of newspapes-mucilags.
An appropriate sign for dilapidated clock
Sku. nls

The age Of newspa spapen-mucilags.
An appropriate sign for dilapidated clock
-"Hands of"
"Talking about the jaws of death |" ex-
claimed . man who Is living with his third
scolding wife, 81 tell you the are nothing to
the jaws of life" !"
my dear" said sentimental wife, "homs
you know 10 the dearest spot on earth"
s'Well, yes" said the practical husband, "it
does cost about twice Is much ~ any other
spot"
bird show this week, "why robins are more
intelligen. than hens" "No," was the re-
ply. "Because they are better posted In the
higher branches. Times.
An Austin man, who has just got out .
book Of poems, met Gilhooly, and the follow
ing proceedings were had :-"Did you read
did you like it?" "My dear sir, assure you
that laid 1t aside with great deal of pleas
ure."
DR.. NcCosh, Of Princeton, in recent ad-
dress to the students, said: "Our college Is
not in . good state" This Is precisely what
the little Maine girl thought who thus fin
ished her prayer one night: "And now, God,
good-by; for I'm going to Now Jersey for
two weeks"
aHave you given electricity trial for your
complaint, madam ?" asked the minister as
be took tea with the old lady. ELECTRICITY"
said she. "Well, yes, reckon has. / was
struck by lightning last summer, and hove
out Of the window; but 1t didn't seem to do
ma no sort Of good"
Oh, no, you don't "laugh and grow fat" !"
That idea /, all wrong. The sentence should
be reversed. You grow fat and laugh. When
you fat up you have something to laugh for.
And other people have something to laugh
At. Especially when you try to button your
shoes in . railway car.
Sweet simplicity sometimes contains the
sharpest sarcasm. A lawyer once said to his
client, "Did you 60 10 your opponent and try
to settle with him ?" 81 did, your honor"
was the reply. sAnd what did he say ?"
"Why, sir, be told me to 60 to the devil"
"And what did you do then, sir?" "Why,
then came straight 10 you"
The editor Of scientific msnthly asks for
correct drawings of . "Tornado At Work" !"
man who went home the other night and
found his wife reading letter signed "Your
Own julia" which she took from his inside
coat pocket, has made sketch Of the "sub-
sequent proceedings ;" which he will send to
the scientific editor.-Norristo,on Herald.
"Mine trent, dots besser you look pooty
veil oud. Dot gun vas loaded, und when he
goes off he kicks like der tuyfel." The gen.
tlemaB, thinking 10 have some fun with the
German, replied, "a gun don't kick, It has
no legs" "Vhatw said the storekeepsr.
"He don't can gick. Yoost vait. dell you
something's, und gif you leedle infama-
tions. 1 vas in der pisnsss und I knows
something. A gun don't kick NIT its legs
1t gicks NIT its breeches."
A Philadelphia who was lying very sick
In the West kept piteously calling for shad.
His friends, unable to procue the fish, were
In despair until . man who had been raised
In the east struck bright idea. "Give him
fine comb fried In batter" he said, "and
perhaps he won't be able TO tell the differ
ence." They gave 1t to him and ~ the sick
mans teeth struck into tbs small teeth OF the
comb happy smile broke over his face, and
be murmured. "Yes; that's shad. No other
fish has such . sweet taste and 20 many
bones. " Chronicle Herald.
They were in the grocery store. Said
Brown (seeiDg . blind man about 10 enter) :
"Were you aware how delicate the touch Of
. blind person is? When nature deprives
us Of one sense she makes amends by BRING
ing the other senses TO extraordinary acute
ness. Let me illustrate by this gentleman.
III take scoop Of sugar and let him feel Of
II and you'll see how quickly he'll tell you
what 1t 10. The blind man having entered
he was put to the test. He put his thumb
and finger into the scoop and without hesi-
tation said: "That Is sand" Everybody
laughed but the grocer. He made several
attempts at blushing and then went into the
back shop and kicked tho dog.-Boston
Transcript.