The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1884-11-13
MiSliaDS of A ID0y.

"What's in name? ?" asked the poet.
Mr.. William Algernon Day weuld have
answered, Everything"
It is not considered in accordance
with the laws Of social etiquette to pun
on any ones name, but the opportunity
is seldom allowed to pass. Mr.. Button
is introduced to mixed company, and
some person is sure to ask jocularly:
Button, button, who's got the button?"
Mr.. Penny Is assailed with the inquiry,
us he bad penny returned?" Mr..
Goodenough is asked why he need not
be any better than he Is. Mr.. Ham is
pleasantly reminded that he is "rather
fresh" The victims OF these names
smile and endure, but it becomes very
wearying
Mr.. Day would gladly have exchanged
names with any OF those gentlemen. It
seemed to him that people were never
at loss for pun on his cognomen.
It took the most serious turn, however,
| when he fell in love with Miss Van
Bergen, who had a terrible younger
brother. This appalling infant saluted
him with the freedom Of a prospective re-
lationship. He was forever on hand with
his "Good Day." "Every Day." and
when forgetfrl for a moment of the
combination he asked his charmer to
"name the happy Day." muffied voice
responded from under the sofa:
Smother Day.
He made point out of that source
of his misery, however, when he called
on his future father-in-law to ask for
the fair hand of his daughter. The
lover seized on the post-prandial hour
| as the most felicitous for his purpose,
and found Herr Van Bergen seated in
| rocking-chair, fianked by sideboard
on which some generous Rhine wines
cleaned. 1t was raining, and the am
brosial locks of the young man wore
gemmed with drops of soft water. The
pater did not recognize him.
My name is Day." he stammered.
Zach! and very wet Day yoa are,
mine friend
"No, sir, answered the lover, stand
ing up to the rack like a man, and
glancing parenthetically at the array of
bottles, Pm very dry Day, just
| now"
The old man roared, and they drank
| each others health and toasted the fu-
ture Mrs. Day.
At the wedding which soon followed
there was some embarrassment, caused
by the best man getting off his balance
and wishing them "many happy returns
of the Day." but all ended well, and
| nothing occurred to mar their felicity
until their first Sunday ct church.
Then, by one of those strange coinci-
dents with which life abounds, the min
lister had chosen for his text the verse:
Sufficient unto the Day is the evil
thereof" But this was not all. By a
series of fatalities the choir sang:
Oh, happy Day. that fixed my choice.
And when they reached home the bride
declared she would not attend that
church again. She personally resented
the want of intuition which made such
blunders possible.
Mr.. Day had heard of the man who
Hog by name and hog by natur,
| But Hodge by act of Legislator.
He at once made up his mind and never
ceased his efforts until he had reached
Legislative halls and had the prefix
O attached to his name. When pun.
ster attempts to climb that amended
handle he is thrown every time. and a
happier family than tho O'Days it
would be hard to find.-Mrs. NJ l..
Rayne, i'm Detroit Free Press.