The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-12-16

1
it."
Oscar Wilde now states that ne writes
all bis poetry on an empty stomach.-kan-
sss City Times.
We always thought his poetry was writ
ten on something mighty empty.
One of the most important things to
teach a colt is to back and 10 stop backing
at the word whoa !-ExchaDge.
One Of the most important thing TO teach
a colt is to 60 forward ard keep on going /
at the word 90.
"A woman stood on the banks of the
Tennessee ct Stevenson. Ala. Saturday.
and saw her husband. son, and four other |
people drown by the carsizing OF skif.-I
Exchange.
The next day she advertised in the
morning psper: Wanted gentleman
correspondent by young widow for NUT
ual improvement.
The Kansas women believe they are
freer than the women of any other state,
and think they will soon be sccorded the
same rights as men.-Wstertown, n. Y.
Reformer.
Yes, they sit cross-legged, spit. scratch
match on tbeir-chsir and talk politics
with an air of business.
81 would not exchange the rough de-
mocracy of the horse cars for all the silken
ease AMI splendid pomp OF the English en-
pire."-Julisn Hawthorne.
How about the woman with her market
haskell full of garlic and the man with a
wart on his nose who smells to high heaven
with old pipe and Limburger cheese?
why" said we'll to do young wom-
an, who he'd just received dry goods bill,
"why do they keep on sending me this? L
know well enough / got the things last
summer, so what's the use OF reminding
me"-Exchange.
Who will say now that the average fe-
male mind has no acquaintance With mys-
teries Of commerce snd finance?
The leather saichel should never be
carried by a lady, save when travelling or
In morning housekeeping calls on the baker
and butcher IL is an American vulgarism
to use a leather sstchel for street prone
usdes.-Fsshion Item.
Too true, all I, ather salchels should be
carried by the husbands and should be In
the shape of wallet-weli filled.
"A New York widow vas taking the
fresh air in Central Park with her two
children when she met a former lover, with
whom she enterd into conversation. Vi
am completely broken up, Amelia" he
said, seizing her hand. There is no tell
irg what / might not say and do If it
were not for these children" children
said the fond mother, pushing them away,
run over yonder where the goat carriages
are, and play until send for you."-Texas
Siftings.
The poor children did as they were bid
den, but the chickens were ready for their
night shirts before she thought to send for
them.
"A Texas stear-giving q man twenty
. four hours to leave town.-Exchspge.
= If the man that reads the above has
"tears" let him prepare 10 "shed" them.
Edwin Arnold's new volume of poems
is entitled 1.-THE Secret of Death"
. bal Courier.
IL must be filled with spring" and
"snow" poetry.
If ignorance is bliss some people must
be suprenely happy.-ExhaDge.
Black Jack Logan for instance.
The early beau catches the girl, but be
does not always hold her.-Exchange.
But if the early spa" catches the girl h'
, generally hold her-across his knee.
Large ears are said to denote generosi
ty.-kxchsnge.
Perhaps that is the reason "little pitch.
ers" give so many things away.
"A New York dealer in hosiery sayi
thst no true lady will wear pair of stock
ings costing less than S150.-Post- Dispatch
i The $40 clerk will make no,e of this
aud rot propose until at least he has enough
money to pay for pair Of stockings.
, Miss Fortesque has obtained verdict
2 of elO 900 damages against Lord Gar.noyle
J. and has temporarily retired from the stage
Exchange.
Garmoyle is away ahead of 81. Jacob
. oil when it comes to bruised heart.
f No woman wants to be spoken OF Al
'tthat fat woman; ;" and yet what is she t
: do?
It Why, go to her "anti" of course.
A St. Louis jeweler has Invented gar
ters with bells on them.-New Orlean
J Times.
" In Sedslia tits the bellies who have tn
carriers on.
Now let the frenzied editors dives
8 themselves of their feathers and WET paint
a i-Philadelphia Keystone.
II And wrestle awhile with the subscribe
: Who pays for his paper with thirteen stick
4 of rotten wood which be calls "eood load.
y Miss Agnes somers, oil Wichita, Kan
], sas, began an aPpreteniiceship to the jew
elrx business in her fathers store at the az