The Press., 1884-01-31

In London, lately, two well-dressed men entered the shop of a fashionable trades man and asked to see the chief of the es- tablishment, whom they privately inform ed that they were dete ctives from Scotland Yard The men said that from inforIna- tion received they knew that two "sweu women" would drive up to the shop in brougham and order drapery to a large amount, paying for the same with forged check for e5O, bearing the name of a we'll known nobleman. It would, however, be necessary, in order to properly convict the women, to allow them to carry the goods off with them, and take the change of the check. But in order that they should not escape, the detectives were to have han son with fast horse, to follow the brough- am and take the ladies into custody. The officers took their stand behind the counter the ''ladies" came, ordered the goods, and rendered the check. They re- ceived the change aud goods, and drove off. The detectives immediately followed in their hanson with the ''fast horse" The tradesman is still waiting for the goods.
 Brooklyn Eagle: An ingenious young man whose appearance in society was not attended with those advantages which display of the evidences of wealth affords, and who had been courting New York girl for several weeks without making any visible progress, hit upon an expedient to aid the consummation of his hopes. Elk cusing himself at an unusually early hour one evening he rose to take his departure.
 s'Going so soon % asked his fair en- slayer, elated at the prospect of his leaving.
 "Yes, can't stay any longer. The fact of it is I have an engagement with my lawyer tonight to make some changes ln my will"
 ssClara p shouted her mother, who over heard the explanation, "why are you so cruel to MT. Smiley? you know you love him. working up blush, Chow could you give me away so!'' and with girlish abandon she fell against the waistcoat of Mr. Smiley, who, as he caught her in his arms, mental ly observed:
 1T guess I'll pass for daisy
 
 Of MT. O'Hara, the colored representa- tive in congress from North Carolina, the Rochester Herald relates that not long ago, in North Carolina, he had introduced to him couple of recently landed Hiber- nians who also bore the name of O'Hara Having in him vein of humor and good powers of mimicry, he indulged in some fun at their expense.
 ssPnwat did Oi understand that yer names moight be, gentlemen p he asked. O'Hara, is it? Not O'Hara nv Kilmain- ock 9
 .''The same," replied they, in amaze ment ''an' who the divil are you ?''
 ''Oi'm yer kinsman, begorra," said he ''an' be the same token the cloimat av this country has been bad for me complexion, aS ya may nOtice-o
 The two ''sons of the sod" have not been seen in North Carolina since.
 ''I'll cure any cough you ever heard of, and with one of the simplest remedies you ever saw," said lady vocalist of consider able reputation on both sides of the Allan tic. 'tIts oysters. Just plain, simple, ev- ery-day, raw oysters. I've sung fourteen years here and in the old country. and you may imagine that the climate has often got the better of my lungs, but I rely upon oysters, and they can be dependt on. My husband told me of this kind of med iclne, aud don't know how many years he has used them. They act just as. ben efcial on my children-and the next time you have cough, go to the oyster bar in- stead of the drug store. , ..-.-r- --zEa
 It will strike every one that this is very agreeable remedy. e ia
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