The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-01-30
TALE OF A BARTENDER
How Chawley and Horace Cleaned
Out q Saloon in New York.

A short, stout gentleman, with a
heavy black mustache, whose aspect
of subdued ferocity was heightened
by q weeks growth of coarse stubble
upon his chin, stood upon the front
platform of q Fourth Avenue car
yesterday morning, with high silk
hat cooked over his left eye and an
extremely bad cigar projecting from
a corner of his mouth ut q very wide
angle. AS the car rolled downward
this gentleman Of progressing ex-
terror discoursed upen men and
things to Haroun Al Raachid and
the car-dTiver, showing a marked
partislity for the opinions Of the
horseman as compared with those
of his other auditor. From his con-
versatiOn it appeared that his pro
fession was that of a mixer Of drinks
in a hostelry in Tenth avenue.
AS the car passed through Union
square a brace Of youths in very
broad-brimmed hats, very short
overcoats, and very brilliant gloves,
with very thick walking sticks,
skipped lightly over the street un-
der the horses heads, and moVsd
onward at that indis-rubber lock-
step pace which Harvard University
confers upon her alumni. The bar
tender laughed a horse laugh as he
gazed after them, and said to Haroun
AL Raschid:
ga couple o. them dudes had a
lot Of fun with me night before last.
Haw, haw. hsw ! l most break my
heart 1aughin' every time 1 think Of
it."
The driver having signifed an in
clination to learn the circumstances
that afforded the passenger 30 much
pleasure in retrospection, the bar.
keeper consented to relale the tale
81 was sittin' down behind the
bar" he said, "about s o'clock in the
evenin'-an' nobody In the place
when In comes a couple Of the dud-
est dudes l ever see. They was
about as wide as bad slat, and the
way they walked wouldn't have
broke egg-shells. One of 'em ssys:
"'Aw, Chawley, what'Jl it be?
"'G:ve me some art an arf,' SAYS
Chawley to me.
"'I'll take the same says the
other dude.
scarf an arr of wot?' l axes 'em.
"Arf settler an arr sssparilla,'
Chawley says.
"'Fhe same for me- put in the
other dude, San say, Bartender be
says, sput little dash of ginger ale
into mine. There's alcohol in ginger
ale,' he says to Cbawley.
"'You can put some ginger ale in
mine, too. bartender ChaWley Gays,
big rs life.
swell, I fixed the drinks I'D fer
'em, an they poured 'em down their
necks. Then the other dude axes
me how much.
"'Half dollar L says.
"sBy jawy!" ssys Chawley. tDo
you take US for gillies, bartender?
"'Naw, l says. Il take yer fer
gentlemen. That's the regular prize
for them strong mixed lickers,' and
then for the life Of me I couldn's
help laughin' at 'em.
"'Hs's guying' Us, Horace says
Chawley.
'Confound you, bartender psays
Horace, sWhat dye mean? I've
a great mind to clean out this
place; by gawvew
"That almost made me laugh
agin, they was such light weights.
Why, I'd been afraid to touch one
OF 'em fer fear he'd come apart, and
l says kinder meek to EN-:
"'Aw, come, now, young gentle
men. You don't want to ruin a
poor man with family on his
hands by smashing up his stuff"
"YOu've 1nsulted US, said Horace,
ferocious as bulldog. sBlawst you,
baw-tender, you've insulted us! If
you don't apologize I'll clean out
this place.
"'Well,' says to 'em, sthat's Just
what you will do and came out
from behind the bar. Horace fell
away ton, but 1 never touched
EN-. I only went to the door and
locked it and put the key in my
pOChoG' An0u SOI pail OF water
and q scrubbing brush and a mop,
and I says to 'em:
Snow you fellers laid you was 20
IN to..clean this place out, and I'm
Just agoin' to make you do it,"
"Did they do it?' inquired the
1river, 80 much interested that he
was entirely oblivlous Of fat wo>
man who was franticalIy waving an
umbrella and shouting to him to
stop the car.
swell, you juss betcher life they
lid it. Do L look like the kind Of a
man what allows a dade to insult
him in his own shop?"
And the bartender got off the car
at BrOOme street and ssalked ioftily
down the Bowery with an air Of con-
,cious superiority. - New York
Times.
NEW BLOOMFIELD, Miss,