Morning journal and courier., 1884-08-07
CONTINUED.

"Oh, don't propose to me here 7" exclaim- ed young lady whose love was about to poul out his avowal as they were riding by corn field. E'The very corn has ears. ."-Burlingto Free Press.
 All illiterate western broker set up in busi- ness with the sign, Money too lone" Those who tried to get accommodated with loans were not long in discovering that that was a fact-Burlington Free Press. Parent (angrilyl-"You have been in the waterl You were fishing!' Son (dripping)- ttYes ma'am was in the water; but I got boy out who might have been drowned , Parent-'I Indeedl who was it?'' Boy-''My- self Judge.
 "Do you suppose that we will ever be on 1 the winning side again!' asked one Vermont Democrat despairingly of another. 'Yes, J was the cheerful reply, ''when we die we 1 shall go over to the great majority. Bur l lington Free Press.
 s'I think it's outrageous" said MT. Spar l rowgrass. SHere it is in the paper that St. John has been nominated for President It's bad enough making fun of live people, but when they begin lugging in the apostles ii certainly is too much. h."-Boston Post. @What,'' asks very tender writer, "what can take the place of babies?"-'Sh! Bend your ear little lower and we'll tell you. Other babies You didn't suppose this years
  it will be clear out of style in IS months.- Brooklyn Eagle.
 Coal dealer tat restaurant) See here, waiter, are you not the man gave my order top feWaiter-"Yes, sah." Coal dealer ''Well, sir, it was half an hour ago. I don't like such long waits" Waiter-"Can't help it, sah, we have no short weights here, sah. Philadelphia Call.
 ''Sis,', said 8 bright Austin youth to his
 
 on her toilet, ''you ought to marry bur glar'' 'What do you mean by such non sense2" ftI mean that you and burglar would get along very well together-you have got the false locks and he has got the false keys. .'-Texas Siftings.
 An English school-boy's description of Moses: He was an Egyptian. He lived in a hark made of bullrushes, and he kept gol- den carf, and worshipt braizen snakes, and he het nothing but quales and manner for forty years. He was kort by the air of his ed while riding under a bow of tree and he was killed by his own son Abslon as he was hanging from the bow. His end was piece
 'fMy son. said Boston man the other morning, as the miIkman's boy entered just at breakfast time with the daily supply of milk; "my son, have noticed singular appearance about the milk recently. It ap- pears to be covered with thick yellow sub stance after it has stood for some time. Can you explain this phenomenon" 'E 'Taint no fenomenon-it's cream, sir, ,' said the boy; Fsthat's all the best of the milk sir. ."-Bos- ton Globe
 He was a wild-eyed scion of the sunny South and had fastened like leech to the prettiest girl at the place. The placid moon was shining as she said: 'I think you said you came from Georgia, MT. Firantow?' s'Yes, I'm a genuine cracker. 'Why, I never should have thought it," she said, and as he softly asked the reason, she whispered, stCrackers usually have the sense to go off when they are fired. "-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 Old man: ''My son, you don't appear to know any more after your four years at col lege than you did when you started" Young man: 'I was No. in gymnastics" Gym nastics don't earn bread and butter" EfBut see what splendid physical health I have I just tell you what, the gymnastic professor did not let any grass grow under our feet. There's not young man in the country with such stock of muscles as I gained at col lege.' "Ah in that case it is all right. I'll apprentice you to 2 blacksmith. ."-Philadel- phia Call.