Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1884-02-28
A Sparkling Spasmodic Spec
tacle
A Plumber nearly Drowned by our
little Boy-his Failure to do so
q Disappointment to the
World.

"Now, them" said the painting
plumber, addressing the colored cook
in her kitchen, II have dug down six
teen feet in the back yard and have at
last found and cut the waste pipt
where it leaks. Don't disturb tht
mounds Of earth, or pour any water OF
slop in the kitchen sink, for, if YOU do,
it will run out the pipe at the other
end and instantly make well of wa
ter in the back yard deep enough to
drown your old man"
Cook-"For de- law, honey, him needs
somefn of dat kind but whar Use
gwine to pour all de dirty slops, ell ?"
Plumber r-"Oh, dump the slOps
down your old mans throat or out in
the street gutter. Good bye, snowfall !,
tell your mistress I'll finish the jot
next month. p"
c. Yelling at the top of her voice
Mex momf ! white man What for
you done gone and cut de pipe for now,
if you amt gwine to fix it rite away.
Think Use gwine TO tote slops for a
whole momf ?"
P.-"Well, aunty, you see the pipe
must thoroughly dry on the inside be-
fore we can make first. class job, and,
besides, if we fixed it now, it might
breed sickness in the Kitchen"
G. Oh, daL's it, am it =? Well Use
got de rheumatic already, and thank
de good Lord dat's enough for dis mig
ger. I'll tell missus, sir, Goodbye"
Six weeks elapse.
P.-"Well, aunty, the months up.
' I've been here every dty, you kno ",
! but this time Pm going to finish the
job, for my charges already amount to
$500, and l don't want your master
to think that I'm putting up a job on
him. What's all this in these tubs,
buckets, pitchers p
Cob, dey's all oh dem full OBJ
greasy slops, dat arter little, Use
gwine to dump out'n de street gut
ters.''
P.--"Confound you =! you ace of
spades Have you poured any down
the sink since | was here ?"
C.-"Nary drop. No sir. It's as
dry out dere and inside de pipes as am
de top ob dat stove dere, and you just
sit on top oh dat and see how dry it
am. Desc receptions all obtain de boil
ed down accumlations oh greasy slops
since you was here. Ny ole mans a.
feard and 'spicious ob me, an my poor
rumatick back has obstructed me in
dumpin' de slops out'n de street gut
ters."
P.-"Well, Pm going to let myself
down on my hands and knees to the
bottom of the narrow hole out there.
Be careful now, old woman, and don't
pour a drop of your "boied down
greasy s!ops;' in the sink, until | get
through soldering the pipe"
No sooner had the plumber reached
the bottom Of the narrow hole and
withhis right eye was examining the
condition of the pipe, than our mis-
chivious little boy Of three and a half
years, unObserved by the cook, pushed
, over an immense tub Of greasy slops
that was merely balanced on the rim
Of the sink. A merry laugh from the
little one shout of utter astoDiSh-
ment and ''bless de Lord !" from
cook IA terribly loud gurgllng, sucking
noise, caused by the rapid ll)w Of es-
scaping water /; volume of language,
not in the revised edition, from the per-
fumed and drenched plu nter, yelling
for some one to save him, and at the
same time vOwing vengeance On the ia
nocent old cook, whose excuse and
explanations for our naughty boy he
would not heed.
Emerging from the hole with not a
dry or clean stitch on, the plumber
slipped and went flying back into the
hole, with a revolving mOt!on never TO
be forgotten. Rescued again, the old
cook; with tears streaming her happy
face, leads him into the darkest corner
Of the kitchen, where, assisted by a
pile of old newspapers, he waited for
his clothes to dry. The old cook, as if
to add further insult to Injury, aud
with no thought now of a Lame back,
throws poker at her old man, and
'dumps" the slops in The street gut
ters, muttering something about soap
grease having called her SNOWFALL
while the spectators of this sparkling,
spasmo die spectacle rushed in a body
to our dumb-founded little hero as if
they would annlhildte him, but instead,
to predict that if he had only succeed
ed in drowning the plumber, the peo
pie would one day, by acclamation,
have rewarded him by making him
President of the United States. gents
Herald.
It's @ very solemn thing to be mar