Morning journal and courier., 1884-05-28
SEALED.

It makes contractor crazy to see his ad- Vertisement for."Sealed Propesals'' appear as "Soiled Parssols. .''-N. Y. Journal. - An English paper says. Lawrence Barrett is not handsome" and an American con temporary replies that, at any rate, This legs are mates," which cannot be said of Henry Irving.
 ''Gentlemen of the jury,n said Tecumseh (Neb. lawyer last week, .''thsre were 1ust 36 hogs in tte drove. Please remember the fact-just three times as many as in She jury box, gentlemen. '-Detroit Free Press. merchant who died suddenly not long ago left on his desk letter he had intended mailing to a correspondent. An Irish clerk
 finding it sent it of after adding the post. script, Since writing the above I have died"
 San Francisco snowman is advertising a troupe of educated flies. IT he will send one on here to teach others how to walk around the edge of milk pitcher without falling in he will gain everlasting fame Boston Post.
 There is some talk of introducing next sea- son the pretty wedding feature of having the choir come down the aisle to meet the bride and return with her to the altar. And if their singing don't break her up it is thought she will be able to go through the ceremony in good style.-Boston Post.
 correspondent writes: Will you please inform me when straw hats can be worn without exciting comment? Certainly. Straw hats be worn without exciting comment when worn on the head But when they are worn cavorting along the street in gale of wind you must expect B remark or two.-Philadelphia Gall. First college man-"Who is that chap ont | in that ro9boat ?'' Second college man-'.I l never saw him before Looks like nice l sort ot fellow, though" s'WelL yes; he
 has rather pleasant face, but" ''But 1 what!" He has never been to college. ," | How do you know?" ''KneRi Great Cesar Why, he can't row.'-Philadelphi Call
 "Bridget," said Mrs. wigglesworth to the
 new kitchen lady from Messina, ''you may lay the table" ''Is thy servant 8 hen, that 1 she should do this thingP' querisd MT Wig. 1 ellsworth facetiously as the door closed.
 ''Why not?" returned his wife, for once com | ing to time. .sShe is Biddy." And MT. 1 Wigelesworth said 'EH'm!" and vent out to | found that with the assistance of the Leigh.
 bor's hens they were.-Rockiand Ooarier l Gazette. NO FIRsT oHoTcR -sTs Mir. Tilden in?" asked the iRterviewsr. Hardly had he got the words ont of his mouth before MT. Tilden, in a full suit of chain armor, leaped from the second floor | lAAQ1H& WAta tAo ESnSEA, 4a U VOACo A1AS thundsr. ssHere am, young man; what's wanted?' The reporter managed to murmur something about sscandidacy" and ..conven- tion;'' but before he could proceed further the Sage. turned a doubleback somsrsault, and informed the interviewer that ho was out of politics. ssMay ask who is your first choicels asked the interviewer timidly. My first choice!" shouted Mir. Tilden, in his excitement wrenching three or four np- rights from the stair railing. sTl have 70 first choice. The country, however, wants strong man" And he struck tho heavy oak en front door tremendous blow, knocking it completely of the hinges tHowever," he added, with wink, 'syou understard" l" The reporter understood, and he rsturned to the office and informed the world through the columns of his newspaper that Mir. Til den was asscompIeee" wreck.-Boston Tran script. Gs
 Hand me down my summaP duster, Bring me out the biggest fan;
 Let that julep be . "buster,'
 Chuck in all the ice you can.
 Take sway my bicycle,
 Put me in frozen hole;
 Tickle me with an 1cicle
 . Bigger than the old North Pole.
 1s. Nae YorkJ Journal.