Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-03-14
TRIBUNE TwINKLEs.

TRIBUNE TWINKLEs.
The governor of Missouri says he can taste
PATHS kiss yet. He should chew Glove.
MARY ANDERSON is bathing at Ems. Who can
now deny that there is virtue in those waters?
THE King Of Siam wants twenty American
colonels for his army. Kentucky papers please
copy. ..-.
The doctors say we must haze more sunshine.
Why don't the doctors lock up their drug boxes
and try to pray ittle2
"WHERE are all these emigrants going?"-
Mandan Paper. They are all coming over here,
neighbor, on legal business. We hsve show in
! town.
MATTHEW ARNOLD says he is becoming tired of
his own voice. In other words, his tastes are be-
ginning to assmilate with those of the Ameri-
:" can people.
GERsTER's baby is attracting more attention
than Gerster herself. It should be put under
salary and have its name printed IN red capitals
on the posters.
IT is said that bee sting will cure the gout.
The simple hum Of vivacious bee has been
known to make man forget his gout and light
out for the next pasture.
JOE Cook asks: "What is What? And what
i. double sided somewhat?' The attention Of
minstrel troupes is earnestly called to this
really new conundrum.
A CHICAGO man claims that he was raised from
the earth sby careful cultivation, even as the
stalk of corn is raised. 1t must be novelty for
Chicago to boast of q cultivated person.
THE fates have decided that Mr.-of
-shall be the next president. This is not
official, but it will do to make cigar bets on
until something later turns up.
1T is extremely unfashionable to go to bed
during the penitential season without saying
your prayers.-Phila. Call. Are you looking in
this direction as you hurl forth that reproof?
EMMA ABBOTT says the voice of prima
donna is a. delicious as new born babe"
It Itsounds out of place to hear such noted per-
son speak of something of which she knows
nothing.
TH,s beautiful weather causes grin
To ifiumine the face of the snob
And the loafers Of winter brace up and begin,
70 softly inquire for job.
TIE senior class at Hamilton college has
been reduced to one man, and it is regarded by
the American people as being the most COM
mendable class on record. 1t can't play base
bali or hsze classmate right into the verge OF
the grave.
my darling, my own, own little pink-eyed,
pearly. .toothed pet," is what Lord Garmoyle
" called the actress who had sued him for
breach of promise. When the Jurors see her
thew will return verdict of: Not guilty but
insane.''
JAY GOULD is now on board of his yacht,
but will not go far enough from shore to be-
come seasiok. After communing with old Nep-
tune over the rail just once, there would be 80
little of him left that the cabin boy would look
down on him with proud dignity.
IT is rumored that the author of "Wait Till
the Clouds Roll By, Jennie, was drowned at
New York the other day. As no official confirm
alton of the news has yet been received, it may
be we'll to suppress all cheering or demonstra-
i've applause for day or two.
ME-. BEEcHER positively refuses to 60 abroad
this spring, and some other professional beauty
is being locke up to fill the vacancy. 1t is
semi officially announced that Major Edwards
has been communicated with, and sometimes
sits for hours in serious reflection.
CHICAGO is ths wet nurse of Presidents
Boston Post. We had an idea that most of the
candidates were brought up on the bottle
Ph,la Call. Don't pay any attention to that
Boston man, Mr. Call. Hc is| eternally fling
ing some malicious club at the Sucker State.
There is an up town grocer.
Who has, as you must know, sir,
{ The finest place of business ever seen;
A lie he would not utter,
But yet he deals in butter
That's nothing more nor less than butterine.
New York Morning Journal,
T., i --
Dr.. NEWTON in his last sermon, called atttea
ton to the fact that the American people
spend s8)O, 600 annually on rum and only
@l20,O0tO in the support of the clergy. But
then q man often wants drink of rum when
be thinks clergyman couldn't afford him the
desired relief.
AN exchange says the best way to learn to
speak correctly is to frequently engage in con-
versation with cultivated persons We hope
this advice will be flung contemptuously a. ide.
No newspaper man can work with q crowd of
eager students endeavoring to draw him into
conversation.
The following is taken from the autograph
album Of q Chicago girl: II stood on the oceans