Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1884-05-24
SELECT STORY.
Aunt Hannah S Hearing.

Against stupldltyt the gods are power
less"
My husband is an Englishman,
solid, practical, with stock of COM
mon sense that is inexhaustlble,
and a feryent belief in the capability
of very stupid little wife.
am q Yankee girl, and fond of
domestic life. That suits Caspar,
and we have as cosy little home as
any two people in the world could
desire to have, who possessed only
small competency. But may as
we'll admit 1T am very ambitious,
and was only too anxious about get
ing on in the world in a financial way
in fact, l wanted to be rich.
Caspar and had little encounters
of wit occasionally about what 1 call
ed the English, and he the Yankee,
of our habits and peculiarities, but as
he had left London when mere boy,
his cockney dialect was not very pro-
nounced, at least, not more than
mine was in the other direction, for
ifhe said "beg pawdon," when he fell
over the cat, l said 81 guess" dozen
times day, instead of the 81 pre-
sumo so," of Britain, and we managed
to average our virtues and defects in
a manner. satisfactory to both.
One morning Caspar referred to
letter he was reading and sad
"Lottie, my aunt Hannah is coming
here to visit us. | forgot to tell you,
and she will be here to-day"
''Ilow provoking" answered.
Fate saved me from i'll nature.
Caspar supposed | referred to the fact
of her not telling me sooner.
"les, quite slipped my mind, but
will order a Joint from the butchers
and you can make d pudding or tart,
and do try and amuse the old lady,
for she is very low-spirited. She
writes that she has lost her hearing in
the South, and is much detected over
it."
Deaf! Good gracious, this was
worse than all! Then remembered
that Auut Hannah was very rich.
What was to prevent her leaving us
all her money-or better yet, setting
Caspar up in business with a portion
of it at once? / had never seen any
of Caspar's relatives, who had only
recently come to the United States,
and | determined to show her what a
treasure of a wife he had. | would
be ears for her, and she would learn
to depend on me, and what more nat
ural than that she would make him
her heir, and leave me legacy. l
would invest it in diamonds-no, l
would buy stocks-or loan it out at a
big percentage!
The clock striking 10 aroused me.
Caspar was gone. The maid-I only
kept one-was finishing the mornings
work, and | hurried up stairs and
made a careful toilet-a subdued
morning negligee, neat and tasteful,
and not too extravagant. Then I sat
down and began to dispose over again
of my prospective fortune.
The sound of the stage coach stop
ping at the door recalled me from my
castle in Spain, and flew to the steps
and spread my hands out in welcome,
as small, dark, spiteful-looking old
lady, with a wrinkled face and a false
front, got cautiously out and stood on
the pavement.
"Dearest aunt" shrleked in high
falsetto voice, 81 am delighted to see
you. Caspar conld not be here, but
he left his love and welcome for YOU"
The driver of the coach looked at
me curiously, as if he thought l was
talking to some one in the next town.
ship. One or two of the neighbors
raised their windows and looked out
to see what the disturbance was, but
my new relative did not appear to
hear my voice, even at that awful
altitude, She was looking after her
boxes and bundles, and merely frown-
ed in answer to my stentorian vel
come.
"Allow me, aunt" | shouted in
her ear as | took her handbag and
shawl. Then | paid the driver and
dismissed him, and, followed by Aunt
Hannah, entered the house. AS
deaf people talk very loudly them
selves, | was surprised to hear the
visitor say in somewhat sharp voice:
$50 this is Caspar's house? Very
nice, | must say-quite elegant"