Morning journal and courier., 1884-01-11
WEAK.

If 1t takes seven days to make ohe week, how many weeks does it take to make one strong?-Oil City Derrick.
 tThat is not the way to raise child Said the humanitarian to 8 parent arrested for lifting his boy by the ear.-NsW York Com mercial Advertiser.
 The man who at the first of the year re- solved to quit smoking has compromised by using ten instead of twelve cigars a day. Philadelphia Chronicle.
 General Hagen has the greatest sympathy for the False Prophet of Egypt. The gene Hal has had charge of the United States Weather for 8 number of years, and knows all about it.-Picayune.
 When young woman is in love she turns te the poets corner first on picking up the local paper. After she is married, she turns first to the advertisements of the dry goods stores.-Somerville Journal.
 "Why don't you get up as early as you used to few days aGo2' angrily asked a wife of her Nazy husband. 'Because, my dear, it's sleep year." he grinned as he turned over for another snooze.-N. '. Journal.
 A new color in feminine fashions is called ''tobac." We suspect that 1t Is the tint of cigarette, but we have no evidence tobac up our belief save the name of the color, snu that certainly gives color to the supposl tion.-Norristown Herald.
 A Philadelphia publishing house advertises certain writer as ''the popular American female suthoress Lest there should still be doubt as to the sex of the person, it might not be out of place, perhsps, to add that this female authoress is she woman.-Cin- cinnati Saturday Night.
 ''When die, my boy,'' said 8 rather fes tive Pittsburg father to his son, 'I don't want any floral pillow with Father or Rest on it, simp!y the letterB $. '. L.,' nothing more" And what, dear father, are these letters to signify" ''Ihey shall stand for the words, See You Later.' ''-Telegraph
 Brindeau the famous sporting flop, had costums for every kind of game that he had shot at. One day, invited to the duks of Orleans shooting party, the duke drew his attention to hare, suggesting that he should fire. 'I cannot, monsigneur," said Brindeaa, ''I am in my partridge toilet"
 An accom- plished wife: ''Ah, old fellow" said an Austin gentleman, meeting another on the avenue ''so you are married at last. AL loH ms to congratulate you, for hear you have an excellent a d accomplished wife, II have indeed" was the reply; ''she is SO accomplished. Why, sir, she is perfectly at home in literature; at home in music at heme in art; at home in science-in short. at home everywhere except-' Except what ?" ''Ex- espt at home."-Fexas Siftipgs.
 s'Aicther p exclaimed Edith, s'what in the world did you invite that horrid Mrs. Brown to our party for?' "Why, Edith Mrs Brown goes into the best society. I sm as- tenished that you should want to leave her of our list" Edith "Well, I don't care; she can't come, for she told me only day be- fore yesterday that they were going to Wash ineton for a fortnight Mother: ''And don't you suppose knew that, Edith Why, you silly girl, that's the very reason why invited her '-Bostop Herald.
 wasp went buzzfng to his work,
 And various things did tackle;
 He stung boy and then dog,
 Then made rooster cackle.
 At lass upon drummers ohesk
 He settled down to orill:
 He proddea there for half an hour,
 And then he broke bs bill