Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1884-10-26
pHILosepaYA AND FUN,
An Analysis Of St. Louis Envy OF
81 Chicago.
W. N. Eyalts liIuminates the Inner Con-
sciousness of PreVaricatiOn---
Another Terror Of the Umbrella
Having a Good Time.
Ss,r I1rk TineS.

Inc %. LOpiS peoF'eI "'S "NNNoh'O
pity the Chicago girls, do not hesitate to as
scrt that the alleged young lady who be-
came boy was never anything but boy,
and that there are very few genuine girls in
Chicago. They pretend that no person with
really feminine instincts of propriety aud
delicacy would dream of being born in Chi
cago, and that 20 per cent. of all Chicago
births are BOYS. The inhabitants OF Chi
cago have attempted TO make up this def
cheney in girls by dressing one-half OF their
boys as girls and by carefully educating
them 10 believe that they are original and
unquestionable girls. In proof of this
theory the St. Louis public appeals to the
Chicago shoemakers. The latter, it is said
are willing to stify that the average Chi
cago girl wears shoes of masculine SIZE
This fact is regarded in St. Louis as unim-
peachabIe evidence of the real character OF
alleged Chicago girls. The St. Louis press
will not fail 10 make the most Of the argu-
ment, and the ST. Louis Ministers Associa-
ZION is said to he arranging course of ser
mons on "Fhe Sin Of Deceit as Illustrated
by the So-ealled Girls of Chicago" which,
II is thought. will fill Chicago with the
kneenest anguish and humiliation. 1t is
nut fair 10 point out that the opinions OF
St. I.ouis people on any matter in which
Chicago is concerned are to be taken with
many grains OF allowance. Granting the
original charge that q habitual and life
long girl residing in Chicago has suddenly
become boy, il does not follow that she
Gas accompices among other Chicago girls.
Granting, 100, that the girls of Chicago have
the GOOD sense 10 wear shoes large enough
tor their feet instead of manning them
selves BY wearing shoes ridiculously small,
that fact does rot furnish the slightest rea-
son for DOUBLING the authenticity of the
girls in question. In all probability the
girl who has deserted her own sex and gone
over to the male enemy stands alone. Still
il must he confessed that her conduct will
give rise to uneaSiness, and that, for some
lime to come, there will be lack OF entire
confidence in the permanence of Chicago
Urls.
Do. who Was Sorry he"Played Rough"
(. y Sidimorc IL We" lorh MAJ.
A short time ago, while sitting upon the
riszza Of the La Pierre House, at Ocean
Grove, on the New Jersey coast, witness
ID 8 dog incident WHICH, if | had not scent
18th nv ow eyes: could not have believed
r>sible. Two Latte boys and a Newfound-
and dog had running match around one
IF the squares opposite the hotel. They
started from the seashore and ran with the
Reetness of Young deer. The first heat was
won by the dog, who manifested great de-
light by barking and wagging his tail
amid shouts OF laughter by the little fellows
close at his heels Then second contest
took place, and when they came around
again, one of the boys was ahead twenty
feet, the dog followed, and the other boy
vas behind. Just us the first boy turned
The corner, he stumbled and fell fiat on his
stomach. The dog was running at full
speed and tumbled over the hoy. Quick as
thought he turned to the boy, paced his
paws under the PROSTATE boys arms and
lifted him. upon his feet. The sight Of the
dog standing on his hind feet, with the boy
erect in his paws is something long to be
remembered. To cap the climax, the dog
then picked up The boys hat in his mouth
and scampered away in playful manner,
end the boys had a hearty laugh aud shout
and Joined in the chase,
English rs She is Spoken in Yankee hnnd'
"5h,dephm NcrrS,
lou say 'clever" when You mean smart.
You say "stole" when yon mean shop.
You say cunning when you mean trick!
or smart,
You say nov J want 20 XIV when you
! do not mean il.
You say depot when 10y have in mine
q railway station.
The caramels which you think 'Joyely'
are only toothsome.
You find your eating elegant when you
mean it is very good
The lecture which struck you as perfect,
" splendid was in reality admirable.
You thought you had real good time
but you only enjoyed yourself very much.
II you do not quite understand any one,
you look up in blank way and say how
When you said was too good for any.
hing was simply better than You thought
/ would De