Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1884-08-14

I've had a number oftusseIs with the old
gal, and knew that burglar had trouble
enough without my giving him any"
Dear Hubby: Please send me by
mOney-order 500 / want to get a dress.
Genevieve. P. 81 had almost for
gotten to send you my love. Your little
wiley. @. Dear Genevieve: send
you my undying best love. Your hus-
band, Charles. P. 81 had almost for
gotten to say that I can't send the $50.
With kiss. @.
Lizzie" remarked her lover to a
sweet Boston school miss, 81 saw you
kissing your cousin Laura the other day.
Please don't do it again. That's a love.
l hate to see girls kissing each other"
"Lor' Charley" exclaimed the fair sus-
pect, L wasn't kissing her. We were
only swapping chewing-gum."
A little knowledge is dangerous
thing, especially of foreign languages.
Jones is very fond of sticking in bits of
French prigged from Ouidas novels.
and the other day when Brown chaffed
him about a snowy looking young
lady whom he was seen walking down
Broadway with, he made answer;
"Haw, haw, dear boy, that was only ma
cuisine"
Everybody must grow old you know"
said Mrs. Bass to her husband, who had
been remarking upon the rapid aging of
one of Mrs. BIS dear friends. Not ev-
cry body, dear" replied Bass; Everybody
who lives long enough, you mean" add
ing pathetically, Il should grieve to
think that my sweet wife would ever
grow Old" 1t is whispered that the
Bases are not living on the best of terms
just now.
$50 your husband is a drummer" re-
marked Mrs. Smith. "YOu'n excuse me
for saying 1t, but they do say that drum
mers are awful hirts. Is it really sop
81 don't know anything about the 9TH
err" replied Mrs. Green, but know that
John isn't Why, he doesn't take any
notice Of the women at all Leastways,
he doesn't take any notice of me when
he is at home, and he'd be more likely
to take notice Of me than other women"
The hour was twilight and as the lus-
tire of the stars grew brighter in the gath
ering darkness he pressed his lips to the
forehead of the beautiful women who
stood beside him and said tenderly:
when will you consent to name the day
of our union, darling-to let the wings of
my imagination rest?" And she an
sWered, nesting her cheek against his
shoulder: when you have your life in
sured, dearest, and made me a present of
the policy"
No" said Fogg, at the circus, ''I don't
take any interest in the performance of
the woman with the iron jaw. Don't
ask me why. You don't know Mrs.
FOgg. Boston Transcript.
Can you speak of a young lady as be-
ing brOw-beaten when she has her hair
banged Burlington Free Press.
An exchange says that bores are kill
~ Moth CavO1fvn This
seems to be the only respect in which
editors and pine trees are alike.-Bltr-
HngtOn Free Press.
The big gun, politically, has a sight on
each end of the barrels Louis Sayings.
Washington could not tell a Ie-but,
then, Washington never had a cross
eyed tailor dun him for pair Of picnic
pants.-FdU R1Uer AdUance.
81 don't see," said Noodles, chow a
friend in need is friend in deed. Now,
have got several friends in need, and
they always strike me for the loan of a
dollar or two whenever they meet me-"
-ET.
The old ticket-The pawnbrokers.'-
81. Louis Critic.
The Rev. Joseph Cook is lecturing on
"The Seven Wonders of the World" Joe
should make it Eight, and include his
colossal Cheeks. Louis Magazine.
"What is good for potato bugs ?" asks
the Oil City Derrick. We want to re-
mark that nice young potato plants are
about as good as anything we know Of
WarsGag Wasp.
"Ah, meP' exclaimed the girl, when
her feminine friend said to her, Glow
bright your beau's shoes are" I wish he
was as bright at the other end."-IOJedO
AnlerjcGn.
The editor wrote of an actress that she
was very ''vivacious," but the second syl-
liable somehow got mislaid in the setting,
and the editor became tired of Hfe.-BOS-
ton Star.
DR.. Talmage says that each year this
country spends billion and a half for
rum. And mighty poor rum too. That's
what worries all Of US, Doctor Williams
port Breakfast Table.
A noiseless roller skate has been in
/ vented, but the bumps on the floor
sound as loud as ever.-PhIga. call.
A Cincinnati dairyman was drowned
recently. He is supposed to have fallen
into the water while getting his morning
supply Of milk.-BOstOT Post.
A barrel of money makes a hog set in
society.-M. O. PicGyurse.
One of Governor Curtin's Stories.
Pittsburg Telegraph.
T~s-F II