Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-05-16


country editor from the United States steps
in there, he always cxclaims, "Gosh how
this reminds me of my collection Of govern
ment reports I"
The Mcndon (Slich) GloJe is edited by a
woman and all the compostors are women.
The ncighbors say the whole building
huns Ike cloih-factory all the time.
All the prominent Jurics of st. Louis are
having their pictures published in one of the
city papers. They will be running for office
pretty soon-for the Office of the paper that
did it,
Pudding has proof,-iu the eating, but
pi has no proof.
Edmund Yates SAYS that American women
are restless. Has Edmund ever been in the
United States during honse-clcanipg time {?
A curious ruct in the study Of human ma
ture: a boy dates every event from the
time when he puts on his first pair of pants.
A traveller in Japan speaks of having had
a forgoten umbrella sent after him over more
than one hundred miles Of territory. The
quaint customs Of the japanese always filed
US with amusement and wonder.
1t is said that there are more than two
hundred women IN New York city who spec
uate in stocks. And more than two hum
dred thousand who speculate in stockings.
Blobson gave glass marble to his neigh
boris little boy, the other day, aud the boy
lost it. The next time he met Blobson, he
called out, See here, Mr. Blobson' lost
that malbe you gave me the other day, and
you've either got to pay for it or else get me
another one"
1t is said that there is not II single Baptist
church in the Black Hills. Water IS un-
known, aud whiskey is too likely to get into
the converts boots.
Long Island has sensation in the shane of
girl baby with three legs. Wonder what the
fathers sensations are when he thinks of
the shoe bills that are to be?
An arithm tician computes that the hand
OF compOsl'Or in setting type travels 1884
miles year. Yes, and it goes at least a
hundred miles out of its way in addition, for
the purpose of making typ graphical blum.
dcrs.
a housckeepcr writes to know how TO
keep servants from breaking dishes. Break
them yourself.
Ia tearing down house that has stood for
over hundred years, some Rhode Island
men found package Of cigals. They were
taken to grocery store and their remarka.
bic freshness caused them to he sold in less
than three hours.
a correspondent of the Chicago Times.
Star writes from Kentucky OF seeing a bone
less man who could be fatlcncd out and
rolled up like piece Of cloth. Well, If men
Will persist in marrying kentucky girls, they
must expect to take the Consequences.
Mamma said little Bcss, don't you
think our doggio's collar ought to % to the
laundry: H. has been WEARING it ever since
he was puppy"
Some folks say that Jlpsous wife wakes
his musache for him." said Bobson to Pom.
Inlay. "'Tisu't true" replied Popinjay.
IN "''>'' NM al oNcI'
Wien the revised version Of n,n tnlruboro
is issued the usual ,alrmti n will be cbangrd
to "Hates l".r--N !. Commercial .1dg1r.
tiser.
Never call man fool, my soH; if he
isn't already convinced of the fact he viii
not be likely to take your word for it-B1s.
ton Transcript.
..
fell from IL fifth story Of a huiGinr IN lie
stone sidewalk without bruaIl,nr any lanes
His wonderful escape is attributed TO the
fact ihat the side Of his face struck first
Boston Post MS
Wv hal is tie color Of that Ice Won have
on = asked g).out-bctwe.p.ilp. oc,e vnm,h
OF young hcy a the theatre. "Ir il c,fr,e.
tinted" she replied "Do Won mink il is |
becoming = Ii. inquired. "WeU. | can't
say; hut | know II ,,o,,,l,s ,.,,',r e"n
A. '""|'" |
John y. Logan, soto voce "Illinois
done toicrahle splendid but nowhere rlse a /
,lrst class man don't have no show. pobow !
have seldom saw onv,bir,, ca Ji,,,i LINN;
-Haryo'd Telegram.
man was arrested fer kicking an old fol. !,
low. After an examination, the ms,ice nf !
he peace said 1T was my intention. +, |
me you ten dollars, but having learned ihat :
lie victim was member OF the last ierisia' !
A drro,;,, u.,.., 3
he Son,5 IT, ~ 1 .'9 o'c"eu ne" store at :.
1N' ''''~i'l3No -AIu ca, SICK I