Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-01-19
Press Pleasantries.

Sisters OF charity-Faith and Hope.
The best backing a young man can
have is good backbone OF his own.
Oyster is the name of q new post
Office in P,nus. lyania. II will soon be
opened.
II 1916 there was no postage stamps
in the United States. "Children were
licked and put in the corner instead, :"
snys sad.cyed man by our side.
The principal actress of theater re-
eeivel good salary for her work, but the
fashionable woman who owns u pug dog
acis as "icading lady" without pay.
An Irishman, speaking Of friend
whom lie suspected OF living altogether
beyond his means, observed that he be-
loved, lie would owe several thousand
pound, af er oil his debts were paid.
Dolls are now made that cry and say
papl and mamma, and now all that ia
really needed to make childless home
suIreme'y happy is some one to smear
molasses candy over carpets and furni-
turo.
"lvhat is limited monarchy, john
N.Y." "Well, my idea of limited mon
archy is, where the ruler don't have
much to rule" "Give an example!"
''An exanple! Lemme see! Well, If you
was bossin' yourself, for instance"
'".No, SIR" said the young lawyer who
was paying attention to fair maiden,
"no, Fir, don't like circuit court.
There's no fun being chased around the
house by cross dog before gotting a
chance to dive in at the front door,"
A cynical old bachelor, who firmly be-
lieyes that oil women have something to
say on all subjects, recently asked O
female friend: "Well, madam, what do
yon hold on this question of female
suiTrage;" TO him the lady responded
calmly: "Sir, hold my tongue"
Imported English Groom-''Do You
know why hi ham like Robinson Cru
soe?" American table-boy-"Im not
good at English jokes. give it up. >
Imported Groom-"It his because Rob
inson Crusoo could say, Hi ham mon.
arch of hall hi survey and hi can say
III ham monarch hall hi serve 'ay.''
IL was too bad to awaken Biggs at the
theatre the other night, but the actors
protested that they couldn't go on unles;
his snoring was stopped. When Biggs
opened his eyes he was somewhat
startled. He had thought himself at the
lodgeroom, enjoying an exemplificatiol
of the impressive ritual, and he was, ac-
eordng to regular custom, about to re-
mark that he al never seen the worl,
done 30 well, when he discovered where
he was and was not.
Sho-"You ask me to fly with You on
short acquaintance; but if leave the
theatre must pay for breaking my con.
tract n sum of $4,000 francs to the i'm
presaro" He -"0h, the assassin
She-"What! Do you think the sum
too high?' Ho-"Quite otherwise fol-
an article Of your high worth. l will
never humliate you to that degree Of Of
lering sum so petty in order to take
you away from here. Rather--I will
renounce my foolish love" (Tableau.
-Naaa II 1'roratore.
THE rRaMr's RESOLVE.
tramp sat on a rich mans s.oop
This day was cold and drear,
The battered can beneath thu coat
Was al'ej with aged beer.
Ills shoes were bad his coat was torn,
lie wore an ancient "knox,"
Aud through its many air.holes poeped
His carrot-colorcd locks.
Thus did he ruminate as
StrodeNy with lordly air.
III drink no more, no not drop
reform WILL swear =
paused and said "Good man, heard
Those words you uttered low. .
An I'm go pleased I'll take you home
And dino ou. If youll go"
lie smiled and answered. "Bess you, parl,
You're of the blooun scent.
When remarked I'd drink no moro
Twas water that meant"