Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-10-24
Geo. Dittoe's Letter to Cleveland,


of being the first one to nominate you
as the candidate of the Democracy
of the country for President, l feel it
my duty to give you a few words of
advice.
| suppose that by this time you are
aware Of the fact that you are a can
didate for the President on the Dem
ocratic ticket. You was nominated
at Chicago several months ago. l
saw an account of that IN a paper
myself. Well, now try and impress
this on your mind that you are a can-
didate. If you can only make your
self firmly believe this, you can enter
the campaign with greater zeal.
You are young man, Grove, and
have never had the experience of be-
ing candidate in Presidential cam
paign, and this is why | will speak to
you plainly. No one shall ever know
| gave you the advice herein inclosed.
Burn this letter. But hold on; don't
burn ii until you have read it. / will
remind you at the bottom, again, 10
burn it.
Grove, there is one trait of your
character that will go against you in
the campaign-you're too honest.
Your record as public official is too
pure-too white. Couldn't you do
something to dirty It up some
Look at Blaine. His record is a dirty
black, and see how he ran in Ohio a
week or so ago-from town to town
but he didn't 90 to Hope Furnace
the weather there was tJo hot for
hinl-he has Brights disease; and
Mr.. Bright, knowing the character Of
the man, wont make any attempt 10
get the disease back again.
Remember, Grove, that "every-
thing is fair in war-especially fair
woman-a power in politics. Behold
Mrs. Logan, the assistant Vice. .Presi-
dent. What kind of grammar would
John now be speaking were lie not
aided by her? Modesty forbids me
saying anything about Mrs. Delva
Lockwood. I'm an clcctor Tor the
State at small III this district Oh her
ticket; and really | am so bashful
that even blush at the idea of being
Oh her ticket. But if | were in your
place I'd make tour through the
country OH foot. Blaine he rode; but
on foot is better. I'd have Il satchel
filled with tobacco and whisky in
one hand, for men, and one Of candy
and such in the other for the children
and women.
Don't forget to kiss the babies.
Nothing pleases a woman more than
for nice looking gentleman to kiss
her baby, unless it be kissing her.
While you are performing the kiss
ing act gaze on the mother.
Yes, by all means, kiss all the chill
dren. 1t doesn't make any difference
how dirty their faces may bc-the
dirtier the face the surer the veto
Of the husband; for that may be the
only time the dirty faced young ones
Were ever kissed by a stranger, and
hence the mother will think so much
the more of you, and she'll make her
man vote for you or get divorce.
Do you ever smoke the pipe,
Grove? l am going to take a smoke
now. You'd better say you smoke
the pipe. That would tickle the pipe
smokers of the country, and there are
millions Of 'em. Wait, now, till
[ light up, and I'll tell you some
more.
y 4 *
Yes, Grove, don't forget to kiss the
babies. When ran for Mayor Ipur-
sued that plan of canvassing and l
was actually elected by 7 majority.
And l didn't kiss more than two hun
drcd babies-there wasn't any more
in town.
Now, Grove, if you are good at fig
ures you can easily calculate how
much your majority would be if you'd
kiss all the babies in the United
States. The sum can be done by the
good old Rule of Thrcc--if 200 babies
bring majority, how much majority
will all the babies in the country
bring?
When you write, put in stamp for
reply, as l desire our correspondence
strictly confidential.
Burn this letter.
OID X nNTuCK