The state journal. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1883-1885, 1884-12-20
NO. SO.
HOLIDAY HUNIOR.
What the Funny Men are Doing to Keen
Warm,

What the Funny Men are Doing to Keen
Warm.
Pkila. Call y Money is idle" saws
a New York paper. That is aqueer way
to spell idol.
Puck" 1t is said that "a man is
fool or physician at forty" Some are
both before they are twenty.
Plttsburg Telegraph - A gentle
who has rented house on the banks of
the river 20 says nothieYes bother him
on account of his Po-lease.
'Pretzel's Weekly = How can one
expect to get thigh wines" when the
corn from which it is stepped is down as
low as forty cents bushel?
Arkansas Traveller - De loudes
takers aim allus de wisest men. Geese
makes more noise den dc roosters, but la
amt got nigh so much sense.
Lowell Courier" Miss Dottie l..
Speck, Of Bellewood, Pa, is the heroine
OF an alligator killing in an Arkansas
swamp. Her name shows that she is the
girl of the period.
Puck = A ST. Louis man has dis.
covered that Goldfish skin, when properly
tanned, makes elegant leather it is of u
pearl gray color and very tough. We
thought the Goldfish must have been made
Tor something else than food.
N. Y. Tribune :" 1t only remains
for the Sweet Singer of Michigan to come
out in card claiming that she is the
author of verses on Freedom" which
are now being printed with "Alfred Lord
Tennyson' signed to them.
THE Judge :" We are Informed by a
fashion paper that buttons are becoming
aesthetic. For some time past we have
thought buttons were more ornamental
than useful, and that's why we have
worn single nailsion our trousers.
Detroit Free Press :" You must
come and see me- my dear" said lady
to a little girl of her acquaintance.
''Do you know my number = ooh, YES,
ma'am, y responded the innocent child.
Papa says you always live at skies and
sevens.
Cine. Merchant Traveller !" The en-.
tire business portion of Western town
was reported as destroyed by fire, and
when charity association made inquiry.
to render some assistance, it was dis
covered that solitary saloon had been
swept away.
Brooklyn Eagle" "The way of the
transgressor is hard, my son" said the
parson. Yes, that's why like it,, re-
piled young Scapegrace. This time of
the year there's nothing like q mecada-
mixed pike for good travelling" And he
made another lap right away.
Now soon the weary family man,
Weighed down with box and bundle,
Will jog along the best he can,
AS hOmewaTd he doth trundla
let he Is glad and gives good cheer,
Cause Christmas comes but once q year.
N. Y. Journal.
Texas "Sifings:" A TexaIman made
a bet that he could invent question to
which fifty people would give the same
answer. He won the bet. The cues
ton was Have you heard that Smith
committed suicide2" The answer in
each case was "What Smith ?"
New York weekly :" A "subscri-
ber' writes to a paper stating that he is
unable to sleep in the daytime, no mat
ter how. much. slaAp. ha ana W leNac l.,r;~-r-
ings. ,.
is fast disappearing from fashionable man
tel-pieces, read Mrs. Crimsonbeak from
the daily papers the other evening. '1'm
glad of that" replied her husband, look
inc I'D for moment NOW a fellow
will have some place in the house to put
his feet.
Soon the cutter, seated single,
Flashing sleigh bells rhythmic Jingle
over hill and darksome dlnSle
The cracking snow Will creak
And grind.
NoatIIno, I'm fhe dOWny pinglG
Laughing ut the Winters tinglc,
Softest words two fools will mingle,
Meier dreaming there's small boy
"Oh behind" lingo.
n. y. journal !" 81 don't under
stand what our sunday school teacher
was telling us about a camel going
through the eye of needle. Shouldn,
YOU think his hump would stop him 7
Small brother of the average American
type: "No, sis I; he'd have to humE
| himself to get through.
N. Y. Mail :" Two gentlemen wert
walking up the street engaged in lively
| conversation. "Since you have som'
notion of marrying" said one ''whl
don't YOU take Marguerite, your sister
charming friend She is an angel. =
don't dispute that but she paints.
"Oh. come now, my dear fellow honestl.
have YOU ever seen an angel that was no
painted 2 " $3.50,
pondent refers to society war batWeeT
Gotham's "parvenues" and the ono
blesse," In New York the 'paryenues
are those whose money was made D.
their father. The ''noblesse" are thos
whose money was made by their grand
fathers. 1t may seem rather narrol
: line but it is the best we can 10 IN thl
.'blahsted kentry. ,
"Pecks Sun :" The head OF the nous
: has been in the habit of occasionally tai
inc home ready-made pie, belieyln
that 'pie and civilization go hand !
hand" Last Sunday home made on
I was nut on the table. The crust was n
az brown as that of the others had oe'
!, and little Rilla, examining her secllt
r with a critical eye, said MANN
this amt laundry pie, is it,
s r. Y. Graphic "Do you love
h dearest - she asked Of her crusty o
husband did you pay those bills "
g terdayg'' YES, but do you
a there anything particular you want
. davgo mo. but do you love me dea
h e est y "Weil, guess do he rath
.. cautiously replied, as he placed neM
II paper over the pocket where he carr
r Oil city Derrick :" Il want III
GIRLS back comb" quOth resident
the South side, as he entered Cen.
street variety store, Certainly, repll
the rcntlemanly proprietor. Il suppt
Won want 10 take it back, comb with yot
IN Boston transcript Ella Vince
d. Wilcox il only twenty SIX years oiu a. q
- has written fifteen hundred poems; = !
- is authentic as it comes IRON tne lauy g., =
=. self. The report that Sne Was hlee
es L,..drod uears old and had written Ol