davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
Journalistic EnthusIasm IN.

[Santa Barbara tCal) independently
The spirit OF prophecy is upon M. Santa
Barbara is to have railroad. The snorting
of tn, iron horse is to be heard across the
Estero, and the valley of the Zenith City is
to re-echo with its shrill whistle. Tourists
are to pour in and fill the town to overflow.
ing, their numbers being augmented by daily
trains as well as regular steamers. Car
loads of fruit and vegetables hogs, beans
and waluuts will go north and south, and
the city will put on metropolitan ready
money" air more pronounced even than that
distinguishing her at present. The city
plazas will become green lawns dotted
with palms, expresses, and mag
nolias, amid which cleaning fountains
will sparkle with the dowy diamonds OF tho
Mission Water company. Gas lamps will IL
Illuminate back streets and sidewalks and
good grades will likewise mark those thor
oughfares All gates will swing inside when
this blissful metropolitan millennium arrives,
and the road to tho Mission will he broad
level pavement, adorned on either side with
proper accommodations for the pedestrians,
who will then, as now, make many pilgrim
ages to the interesting relic. A solid row Of
fine business blocks will fill the gaps between
Tehbett's block and the Clock building, front
ing equally well built rows OF buildings
from the Morris house to The Independent
Office. In those days the curfew ordinance
will be enforced. and there will be much JOY
in home circles
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
An AMERICAN IN RUSSIA.
THE Remark abie Respect, Courtesy
and Accommodations Given Him
During the Trim.

and Accommodations Given Him
During the Trip.
A Detroit Free Press reporter recently in.
terviewed Baron de WaSstaffe, Of Russia
who was looking into the railroad industries
of Detroit. In the course Of the con versation
the baron was asked:
"What are the facilities for travel to oil
parts of tho empireso
"Besides the railroads, it is by post-roads
We have most perfect system of post roads
all over the empire"
"To the farthest points,"
ayes, sir; from the Pacific coast westward,
and from the northern shores SOUTH The tcst
way l can illustrate the perfection of our
system Of post roads and safety of such
travel, is to tell of a New York gentleman,
now dead--a relative of the Stuyvesants-
who for his own pleasure started from
the Pacific coast to travel alone over.
land through Asiatic Russia to Peters
burg. He couldn't speak a word of any
language but his own, and relied entirely
on his own intelligence and United States
passport to help him on the journey. His
passport had the American spread eagle Mt
its top. while the Russian passports have the
Russian eagle with crown above the eagles
headl at their tops. at every station the
New York gentleman observed that he
was given the preference over all
other travellers; that he got the
best horses and ut cnca. No matter
if other travellers had reached the station
ahead Of him and in need of fresh horses, he
was provided first. He made the trip safely,
speedily and comfortably, and when he
reached my home he was most enthusiastic in
of md lo NV. 4
courtesy of our post officials, while he could
not speak in terms too enthusiastic over the
respect they hal shown him all through
Russia because of the United States pass.
port"
what was the secret of his good fortunel"
Chiefly out of respect to The Eagle and
the ignorance Of the postnnasters Of the nature
of the gentleman's business, which they con-
cluded to be of an official character, and SO
they treated him as they would a high Russian
official"
And how Is that"
"All those in authority in Russia, when
travelling are given preference by special
passport, such as was bestowed on the Ameri-
can traveller"
"Then it is not dangerous to travel in any
part of Russia"
NOT at all l often travel with my wife
and daughter to my home at the foot # the
Ural mountains, 400 miles by post-roads after
leaving the railroads. While l generally
have n revolver with me, it is usually on the
floor in the straw-unier the seat or some
wherc-l don't know where, for never used
it, That is another result of our passport
system"
"How SOL"
because by the system all dangerous char
acters are at once apprehended and placed
under guard, while on the other hanl no
murder OF other crime can no committed
without almost immediate detection and
punishment.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
A Vinegar Mine.
tIrass Valley Tidings. J


Some miners in the employ Of the Live
Oak company have lately been engaged in
sinking shaft on another location and nearer
Bear river than Live Oak. The place is
south Of Grass Valley, and the region has re-
cciveu but little attention in the way OF
prospecting for mines. The miners In
sinking the new shaft have had no trouble
with water. In feet, the ground has
been unusually dry A few days ago,
however, thin stratum OF some kind of
damp rock was struck, and there were some
evidences OF e(fervescence in this. Passing
through this thin stratum the miners came
to n small stream of what was ut first sup
posed to be common water, but on closer in
vestigation it proved to be strong acid.
Some of this acid has been brought to town
and has been examined by experts, and they
pronounce it to he acetic, as strong as the
acetic acid Of commerce In short a vinegar
mine has bcen struck. The elfervescence OBJ
served il the thin stratum of damp rock is
accounted for by the action of the acid on
some aIkali contained in this thin stratum.
A sunip has been made III which the acid is
loft to collect, and all further work has been
stopped for the present
One OF the miners insists that the fluid Ia
pure vinegar OF the best variety of the
cider kind. He accounts for the milk in the
cocoanut" by the fact that the ground of the
watershed there slopes toward the river, and
there are large number Of apple orchards
toward the top OF the watershed, and that
for years great abundance of fruit has fallen
aud rotted on the ground and that the juice
of those apples has undergone the acetic fer
mentation by the time the juice has gotten
low into the rocka The owners are talking
OF pickle factory on large scale, and one
of them thinks if they could tap the stream
higher up, where alcoholic fermentation is in
progress and before the acetic has begun.
good article Of apple-jack can be DISTILLED
from the fluid At all events, the fluid is
remarkable one and may prove u bonanza.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
The Virtues OF the ScalsIin.
[Sau Francisco Chronicle.

lSau Francisco Chronicle
Lot me recommend every father Of
family 10 buy a seals1n. A sealskin is the
most valuable and useful adjunct to domestic
comfort and to matrimony that the world
knows. 1t is most adaptable garment and
suits any height, breadth or style of figure.
A sealskn is always attractive. Let a girl
so along the street i'll plain, morino gown
and the men will never notice her. Lot
her put on a sealskin and everybody takes
look ut her, and even turns back to take
another. The fascination Of any kind Of
girl in sealskin is wonderful. In fact seal
skin levels all ranks and places the work
girl on an absolute equality with the Hob
Hill heiress. have known q whole family
of girls comfortably married off by the ju-
dcious manipulation of sealskih. Each of
them wore it, each of them made hit in it.
and after they were married it was laid
away for those who had not grown up.
l an free to confess that sealskn does
not 60 with everything, but everything goes
with u sealskin. The taste may not always
be of the best; there may be shabbiness be-
neath but s1alskin is like charity--it covers
q multitude of sins.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
The Lime Kiln Clubs stove Upset
detroit Free Press

1t Is seldom that such old bald heads as
Judge Cadnver and Nelson Slabs forgot their
age and dignity and become boys for the mo-
plcnt. Such an event occurred, hcwcvcr,
just previous to the opening of the meeting
There was little boxing and little friendly
scuiIle. and both fell against the stove and
upset it. Every one OF the sixtyeight joints
Of stovepipe came rushing down, some one
OH the strect turned in m alarm Of fire, and
forty minutes after the usual hour Of opening
the meeting the smoke was 50 thick in the
hall that members could hardly see each other
two feet away
Brother Gardner announced that Judge
Cadaver would be flncd $500 aud Nolson
Slabs would have to whack up $500 The
money, when paid would I've used to erect n
colored orphan asylum.
The judge criel like child with ono hand
and nursed his burned elbow with the othor,
while Slabs had fit Of some sort that lasted
forty minutes by the clock.
at am now my solemn duty" continued
tho president, "to announce do unexpeckted
death Of Bludder Concentrr Joleon, an
honorary member rosidin' in Quebec his
letter in my han states dat he was in Xxx
health up to ] o'clock Tuesday forenoon, at
which hour he drapped dead on de sidewalk
In front OF cheap cash grocery. Brudder
!obson was all average good man. Hs had
his virtues an his vices. His death won't he
any great loss to de world, an yit he might
have lived ON widout bein' in anytody's way
De janitor will see dat Grape am hung on de
knob Of de alley doah fur lie nex' ton DAYS
an if any OF you desiah to compose poem
ON de- departed brudder you has my consent"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
Mahancdwn Frederick County, Maryland Thursday Mch 49, 1884,

about them than their bographers do, and is
always telling them. One of his favorites
Is to the effect that he used to preserve all
tho coa,bings from tho heads of his patrons
in tn operatic line, which hc male up as
souvenirs. tied to card with pink, blue or
whatever colored ribbon their one-time
owner favored.
The mementos commanded ready sale
among the admirers OF the divinities they
represented. At one time there was such a
run Oh the hair of one singer that he could
not supply the hair legitinately. Happily,
however, his wfe's crowning glory was of
the same color, so he cut it off close and got
enough for it in retail lots to open one of the
finest shops IN New York.
At least, SO he told me; and as he was
shaving me at tho time did not like to run
the risk of impugning his veracity.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
The Case or an Ohio Railroad.
TWaIl Street Newa

It had president after president, and each
one cooked his feet on the office des k and let
her rip. She had ripped" until the directors
finally got together and decided that the
right man must be found pretty soon or tina
roal must go to the wall. They were con
sulting in room looking out into the pas
senger depot. A train came in eighteen
minutes behind time, and the train dispatcher
booted the conductor out of one door, fired
the engineer out of another, an run the fire
man under freight train. He then backed
the train out, and was coming back from the
yards, when the directors met him and one
of them asked:
"Mr Thomas, can you accept the presi
dency of this road"
await minute" was the reply; and the
man shunted three cars, cutfei a switchman,
drove two loafers ont Of the yard, and re.
turned and said:
"Why, yes, suppose so; AMI the first thing
l shall do is to fire you all out o herel Don't
let me see you around here again for six
months"
In year the road was paying dividend.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
The AristOcrnt's Refuge.

New York Commercial Advertiser.
Amer ca is the future home Of the broken
down European aristocrats There Is not a
doubt that the indications all point that way
The roomy and cyclonic west is now overrun
with gentlemen of ancient lineage, who dine
on pork and cabbage at 3, and paint their
coats of arms upon their wheelbarrows. An
Irish baronet is at present engineering the
Wynlham comedy company, and a Russian
nobleman pilots u grocery wagon i'll Chicago
The time approaches when our street cars
will be manned by retired counts and
marquises, and when an asylum for
played-out kings and emperors will stand u
monument to the logical consistency Of re-
publican ideas.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
I'm the Chnste Language OF job"


Ex-Gov Buffers farewell gift Of bible
to Massachusetts, reminds us of the time
when Mr.. Bell, on becoming governor of
Texas, began his inaugural address with:
"Fellow citizens: in the chaste and beautiful
language of Job, now is the winter of our
discomfort made glorious summer by this sun
of York." The result of this remarkable
pronunciarento was that tho governor was
presently overwhelmed with gifts of bibles
from every state and from foreign lands;
bibles in English, Latin French, Russian and
Hindoo; illustrated, Illuminated, polyglot,
hieroglyphic; bound in paper, leather, velvet;
sent by mail, by express, by freight, by
special messenger. Another result was that
from Galveston to tho Panhandle almost
every man, woman. and child got bible
and a copy of Shakespeare, and "read up
until Richard Ill. AMI Job became the
best known and most talked about men in
the state.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13

possessed Of many virtues not yet very pop
ularly known, though various preparations
OF it are in the market Among others, re-
course has been had to French preparation
called the wine of coca. The use OF it at
night produced slight drowsiness in common
with all other alcohols, but there was second
ary tonic effect, which favored sustained
labor to reasonable extent But the result OF
all these attempts to do double work points to
tho received opinion that we have yet to find
tho artificial incentive to work which shall,
without injury, enable us to prolong our
waking and working hours
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
The Theatrical Hard rcsser
Weeks DOinps

The hairdresser does not take much inter
est in the drama, except that which his in
stinct OF business inspires him with. But on
opera he comes out strong.
IL he can insinuate himself into the service
of some singer, no matter how humble, he is
in his glory. He performs his professional
duties toward him or her with the loving
tenderness of a true artist | know q ton
sorlal artist who in his day was the special
hairdresser of Grisi, Mario, and other famous
singers Of b. th sexos lie knows more stories
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
Speech II aki lug In the Senate.

Washington Cor Springfield Republican,
1t is in the house that young men find their
best opportunities. There Blaine, Garfield,
Frye, Conger, Hale, Beck, Lamar aud Voor-
hess made their reputation. Garfield never
sat in the senate, perhaps luckily, but not ono
Of these others out of that long list of men
who in recent years have passed from the
house to the senate has aided one jot or title
TO his reputation. So far has the stultifying
influence gone that nobody in the senate now
thinks Of making speech. Essays are read
there, and when the Tall Sycamore of the
Wabash is seen rising with a roll of manu-
script well may his constituents rise and say:
"You, too, Dam Voorhees, has read many
essays-to empty seats-but he has not deliv.
cred speech since he has been IN the senate.
A reaction may set in. Frye is about ready
to revolt. SO are ConSer, Jones, Van Wyck
and Mitchell. Hawley is very restive, too.
If Ohio would send some one, like Frank
Hurd for instance, who has as much contempt
for fiummery as Thurman had, perhaps tho
reaction may come.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
yashin-tOn's COurtship.


An exchange has heading "Washington's
Early Courtship." Then Washington didn't
court late ehl Didn't so home at o'clock and
take his shoes off out on the porch for fear Of
waking up the old man, when be let himself
into the house with the latch keyl No,
George went right straight home every
uight, when the 10 o'clock coal Oains came
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13

The mince pie graceth the festive boarl,
Masking its juices rare,
And the mouth OF our b lby waters the while
He vieweth the treasure there.
The doctor smleth n wan, sad smile,
And heaveth crocodile moan;
And the marble man goeth into his yard
And polisheth up stone.
And the undertaken mournfully asks:
"What will his measure be"
While the sexton labels spot Reserved"
Under willow tree.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13

BALTIC. &C. V. RAILROAD.
Trains leave Edgemont for Waynesboro
ChambcrsburS and Shppcnsburg daily ex-
ccpt Sunday at 7.35 ond 11.4o A. M. and 7.35
p. NJ on Sunday at S55 a. M. and $50 p. NJ
Trains for Edgcmont leave daily Shippens-
burg at Gas A. NJ and / 30 and 325. p. NJ
Chambcrsburg at 7. 90 A. NJ. :, 1.55 and 400
p NJ
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
H.G. RADCLIFFE,'
S%Y ny DENTIST, -w

Informs the Public that he has located in
Libertytown and will visit LEWlSTOWN
the First Tuesday of each month at Mr.. q.
T. Zimmcrman's store. The following We'd
nesday and Thursday in MECHANICS
TOWN at the Miller House. Persons wait
cd on at their residence if desired. Moderate
Prices for filling and putting up teeth.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
Warm Times In syracuse.

UUlCu OOSeFVeT.
Old James Faulkner, who was a widower
and millionaire, had more eccentricity than
is common to rich men. At one time old
Faulkner, arrayed in his ugly honespun, the
tops Of his trousers tucked into the tops OF
his great red cowhide boots, stalked into the
dining-room of the old Empire house, then
tho finest hotel in the city Of Syracuse, and,
looking about him moment, carefully So
lected table nt which were seated a number
Of elegantly dressed ladies, and planted him
self in a chair by their side, and in G. stent,r-
ian tone summoned waiter Instantly the
ladies, with noses elevated to an angle OF
forty five degrees, expressed their Indignation
by showing back from tho table. preparatory
to leaving tho dining-hall. Old Faulkner felt
the contempt thus expressed, and, bcliev'
ing it was aimed ut his coarse clothing, in
stantly sprang from his chair, kicking cas-
tors, tureens, silver, aid miscellaneous as
sortnont Of crockery over the dinng-hall.
Then he jumped up and down on tho centre
Of the table until it caved in, aud in less time
than it takes to tell the story he had COM
pleted tho wreck, and tables and broken
Shairs and crockery were heaped upin mis-
cellaneous mass. Meanwhile the guests Of
the hotel had hurried screaming from the
room, flying, they believed, from mailman.
The landlord, hearing the racket, and sup
ported by several men from the hotel oflioe,
hurried to the side of Faulkner. and was about
to seize him, when the latter turned from his
work OF destruction and demanded:
"What's my bill"
give hundred dollars at least" was the
excited reply.
"Here's your money!" said Faulkner, as he
drew from big roll bill OF the denomna-
ton named BY the landlord "Here's your
money, and let me give you little advice,
which you can in turn give to your ID
fool guests Don't judge mans rank aud
position ty the clothes ha wears
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
Clad in a Deck of Cards.
[Ralti;nore Sim.

An elderly gentleman went to sleep yester-
day morning in saloon on North Gay street
While s!umbering a group of jokels, with
whom he Eal been playing pool, pinned an
entire suit OF cards on his back, beginning
with the ace and ending with the Jack. tn"
unfortunate subject arose about noon and
ambled down Gay street, raising quite a sem
saton. Some ono told him OF his decora-
tion, and taking Off his coat in the street. hS
ctcked them OF, with several remarks.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13

Philadelphia Times: The murder II ial has
rot so that it does almost as much harm as
inc murder ITSELF
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
THE MINCE PIE

The average ago OF French generals 4
under 45; of English, over G5.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-03-13
CHANGE OF TIME,
WESTERN MARYLAND R. ROAD.

81 ;:s % ssssl,falgaI ssssala3 .ssSy;sssz.s sS;sz
III o take effect Sunday December 80,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-03

BUCKLEN's ARNICA SALvE The
The best salve in the world for Cuts
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands.
Chilblains, Corns, and all skin Erup-
tions, and positively cures Piles or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to
give perfect satisfaction, or money re-
funded. Price 25cents per box. For
sale by F. j. Wood & Bro.
may10no1y1
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-03

Should Benz. T. Butler be defeated
in the democratic convention at Chi
cago, there is no doubt but that the
party will meet with another defeat
this fall, and should they nominate
him as their standard bearer their
defeat will prove Waterloo. The de-
mocracy were never in worse
predicament.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-03
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS,
-~-~~-~~~~~~~~~~~
Cures Guaranteed.

DIR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. l.
A Certain Cure for Nervous Debility, Semi
nal Weakness, Involuntary Emissions,
Spermatorrhoea, and all diseases of the genito-
urinary organs caused by self-abuse or over
indulgence.
Price, S1.0O per box, six boxes $780,
DR.. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 2.
For Epileptic Fits, Mental Anxiety, Loss of
Memory, Softening of the Brain, and all dis
eases of the brain, Price S1.00 per box, six
boxes $500.
DR.. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 5.
For Impotence, Sterility in either sex, loss
of Power. premature old age, and all those
diseases requiring thorough invigorating of
the sexual organs.
Price, $500 per box, six boxes, $1,000.
DIR. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 4.
For Headache, Nervous Neuralgia, and all
acute diseases of the nervous system.
Price, SOC per box, six boxes $3.50.
DR.. WARNS SPECIFIC No. 5.
For all diseases caused by the over-use of
tobacco or liquor. This remedy is particular
ly etficaclous In ayerting palsy and delirium
tremens.
Price, $1.00 per box, six boxes $500.
double the money paid. Certificate in each
box. This guarantee applies to each of our
five Specifics. Sent by mail to any address.
secure from observation, on receipt of price
Be careful to mention the number of Specific
wanted. Our specifics are only recommended
warranted to cure all these diseases with one
medicine. To avoid eounterfeits and always
secure the genuine, order only from +. J.
wood 81 Bro. Grand Rapids. Wis.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-07-03

Take Notice..

Notice is hereby given that the Common
Council of the city of Grand Rapids, will re-
ceive sealed bids for doing certain street work
hereinafter specified and according to plans
and specifications on file with the City Clerk.
Such bids must be filed with the City Clerk on
be required to give bond for the faithful per-
Torrance of work. The right to reject any and
all bids is reserved. Bids may be made for
opening each of the following streets, separate
ly and together, tO-wit:
FIRST: Clearing, grading, ditching, filling
and bridging street from west side of home
stead of s. A. Spafford on Oak street north to
Baker street at northeast corner of Court House
grounds.
SECOND. Clearing, grading, ditching, etc.,
street commencing northeast corner Howe
High School grounds west through swamp
conn Getting with street running north and south
past homestead of III. H. Compton.
Dated June oath, 1884.
A. L. FoNTAINE, City Clerk,