davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
A Simple Problem.

Young Freethinker writes to say
that in many Instances the words of
the Bible are untrue as applied to our
own times" and he says Take the
passage, Are not two sparrows sold
for a iarthing?' l say they are not"
Oh, well, / agree with Young Free
thinker that the passage quoted may
not apply to this day and this genera
ton. But that is the fault Of the gene
ration the Bible is all right. It is
only we who are wrong. Two spar
rows were sold for a farthing then, and
/ don't suppose inspiration itself could
ioresce that, in the year 1884, in the
United States of America, race Of
human beings would wiring from Il
starving neighbor $1.75 for a spring
chicken no bigger than a robin, or 50
for squad three days out of the shell,
and would sell a peck of peaches in
two quart basket, and would make
butter out Of dead cattle, and when
their children asked for bread would
give them preparation of alum, and
would catch imported sardines Off the
coast of Maine, and would sell "bob
veal in the public markets. and
would mix split peas in the coffee and
sand in the sugar. | suppose it was
the intention to burn the old globe up
before a generation arose that was
capable of doing such things. OfcOurse
you can't make the Bible fit our day,
my son. Omnipotence couldn't do that
without making hopeless wreck of
the Bible. But you can make our day
and generation fit the Bible. Suppose
you try that Commence at the other
end of the bridge, and by the time you
get Wall street fitted to the sermon on
the Mount, you will be gratiied to see
that you have landed the country
on the old "two sparrOws for "A far
thing basis. .-ROht. j, RUrdeHe,
--sse
CAPITAL COMFORT. .-- Washington,
D. C,-Mary X. Sheek, ITO Maryland
avenue, Washington, d. G., states, that
for several years she had suffered ter
ribly with facial neuralgia and could
find no relief In a recent attack
which extended to the neck, shoulders
and back, the pain was intense. She
resolved to try ST. Jacobs oil, the great
pain-reliever. Rubbing the parts af-
fected, three times only, all pain van
ished as if by magic, and has not re-
] turned.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
JULY.
Notice to smyrna Shippers.

All Heavy Freight intended to be hauled to
Boat by our Teams should be reported at our
once the night previous TO departure of Boat
ANY Small Packages should be reported at the
Office at least two hours before Boat starts
Philadelphia and Smyrna Transpor-
tatiOn Company.
J. Z. TYGERT, Prcs't
W. G. PIERCE, Sec'y and Trea'r
CrtrCrc. No. A s. Delaware Avenue, Phila.
and Smyrna, Del.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
SECRET SOCIETIES..

MORNING STAR LoDGE, No. 6. l. o. O. F-Mccts
every Friday evening, at o'clock
MCDONNELL ENCAMPMENT, No. ., !. 90 F-N6ets
Second and Fourth Tuesday evenings of each
month, at o'clock.
HARMONY LODGE, No. Is. y. +. A. M-Meets First
and Third Thursday evenings of each month,
at O'Clock.
SMYRNA CoNCLAyE No. A., ORDER or HEPTAsOPHS.
-MeetSevery Wednesday evening at s O'Clock
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
A Live Fly Catcher.

"Of what earthly use is toad ?"
naturalist was asked.
" 1t is a very useful animal about the
house There isn't better fly catcher
! trained toad once, and kept it inmy
room. Its place was on the window
banch, and it was my diversion to see
it catch flies If riflcmen could aim as
it does with its tongue, they would lie
invincihle. Its aim is as umerring as
its glance Its tongue is made so that
il can shoot it out nearly two inches.
1t is 50 sharp that it spears a fly a,
upon the point Off needle, aud it is
done as quick as a man can wink. 1t
requires very great attention to see the
operation"
How do they live in Winter?"
"Toads crawl into crack in the
earth or bury themselves in mud.
There are numerous stories about the
length of time they can dowithout food
or air. Mr.. Buckhand's experiments
showed that they could live three
Years, 50 that we must conclude that
the legends of the discovery in the
bowels Of the earth Of toads that posi-
bly, lived before Noah are misleading.
They certainly got Il modicum of air in
their hiding places. There is no trust
worthy account of live geological
toad. There are tOads found in stones,
but they are merely housed up in a
solid coat of sunbaked clay, which on
the exterior seems as hard as a stone,
but which, in all probability, contains
some iissure invisible to the naked eve,
through which it gets air and drink.
" The toad is occasionally found con-
cealed in the not ola tree where it has
been encased in bark but here, too, it
is not wholly locked up from air. 1t
has the power of contracting its body
and swelling it to twice its natural size.
1t certainly can live in a greater state
Of torpidity than almost any other ami
NAL and, being born a tadpole, it is
likely tobe carried in the water to very
extraordinary places"
Does it have any cry?"
Yes; curiously enough, it has a
cry that sounds like an infant scream
ing under pillow. Its utterance is
strangely human, but it comes forth
only when it is injured or frightened. .
N. y. SUE.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23

Waren's Entire HBeqt" Flour, sub
stitute for Graham Flour, at J. J.
COOper's,
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
A Word for Oranks.

Cranks, my son? The world is full |
of them. What would we do were it |
not for the cranks? How slowly the
tired old world would move, did not !
the cranks keep it rushing along.
Columbus was a crank on the subject
of American discovery and circumnav-
igatiOn, and at last he met the fate of
most cranks, was thrown into prison,
and died in poverty and and disgrace.
Greatly venerated now? Oh, yes.
Telemachus, we usually esteem
crank most profoundly after we starve
him to death. Harvey was Il crank on
the subject of the circulation Of the
blood Galieo was an astronomical
crank, Fulton was crank on the sub
iect of steam navigation Morse was a
telegraph crank all the old abolition
lists were cranks. The Pilgrim fathers
were cranlls; John Bunyan was
crank any man who doesn't think as
you do, my son, is Il crank. And by
and by, the crank you despise will
have his name in every mans mouth,
and Il half completed monument to his
memory crumbling down in dozen
cities, while nobody outside of your
native village will know that you ever
lived. Deal gently with the crank,
my boy. OF course, some cranks are
crankier than others, but do you be
very slow to sneer at Il man because he
knows only one thing and you can't
understand him. \ crank, Tclemachus.
is a thing that turns something, it
makes the wheels 90 round, it insurcs
progress. True, it turns the same
wheel all the time, and it can't do any
thing else, but that's what keeps the
ship going ahead The thing that
goes in for variety, versatility, that
changes its position hundred times a
day, that is no crank that is the wealth
cr vane, my son. What? You never
theless thank heaven you are not a
crank? Don't do that, my SON May
be you couldn't be crank, if you
would. Heaven is not very particular
when it wants ii weather vane almost
any man will do for that. But when
it wants a crank, my boy, it looks
about very carefully for the best man
in the community. Before you thank
heaven that you are not crank, ex-
anime yourself carefully, and see what
is the great deficiency that debars you
from such an election Hurtcyc
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
Philadelphia, Wilmington Z Baltimore Railroad.
DELAWARE DIVISION.

on and after MONDAY, July eth. 1881. (sun-
days excepted trains will leave as follows:
sOCTHWAED. SOETHWARD.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23

Bowers Beach has changed very
much of late years. Formerly it was
a place for drunkenness, rowdyism and
fighting, but now we find the scene
changed, and any one can go there
without being mOlested For the last
year or SO, it has been kept up to bet
ter standard, and in the hands Of Isaac
Belts, Esq, is largely patronized by
the better class of people of the county.
-DeidVdredn.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
EXPRESS.

Nelg caste Accommodation Trdin8.--Leaye VIII
miHgtOn OF G.lj A. ST.. and 300 p. N. Leave New
Castle al 9.25 A. H. and 80 r. II.
SMYRNA BRANCH TRAINs.-Leave Smyrna
for Clayton 7.18. S42, 9 50 and II 05 A. NJ la 437
. II and 7i3 P. N. Leave Clayton for Smyrna
~, 833 1903 and Ills a. NJ, l.55, 44s, 5.28 and
72iP.M.
CONNEcTIONs.-At Porter. with Newark d Della
ware City Railroad. At Townsend. with Queen
& Chesapeake Railway and Kent County Railroad
At Harrington, with Delaware Maryland & Vir-
ginia Railroad Al SeafOrd, with Cambridge 6
sealOrd Railroad. At DGlmar with Eastern Shore
Railroad WicOmicO & PocOmOke Railroad, and
Peninsula Railroad
CHAS. u. PUGH. General Manager
J. K. WOOD, General Passenger Agent.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
Delaware, Maryland & Virginia R. R.
ON and after Wednesday, June 2lth 1854. lSun-
days excepted the trains will be run as follows:

Steamer leaving New York from Pier No 26.
tOld No. 81 North River, foot Of Beach Street,
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, at p. m,
connecIs ut LeweS Pier the following morning
with train due at Harrington, at 1000 a. m.
Train leaving EarringtOn at ll.40 a. m, con-
meet on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays with
Steamer at Lewcs Pier
THOMAS GROOM, Superintendent
A. BROWN. Traffic Manager.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23

we clalm lhe lOilONlhS
for this Bar:
1st.-A saving of fuel
over the ordinary bar.
2nd.--Such cOustruc-
ton as will equalize all
strains resulting from ex-
pansion and contraction,
thus avoiding warping, and
thereby insuring long ser
vice.
3rd.-ThOrough COM
bustiOn Of fuel, owing to the
Iarge air spaces exposed.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
GRe Smprua Gimes.
SnaY2'nn, DeI.,
Todnesday Afternoon, July %, 1884.
CHuRCH SERVICES.

AsBURY METHODIST EPIsCoPAL.-Sunday-P Preach
ing at 1912 a. NJ. and ~ p. NJ. Sunday school
9A.N. and2P.M. Prayer rMeeting-Thursdays at
"a p. NJ. Rev J. B. Quigg, Pastor.
ST. PETERS PROTESTANT EPIsCOPAL-Sunday-
Preaching at 1917 A. N. and P. NJ Holy Days
--9l2 \. NJ Sunday School, p. NJ. Rev. Wm.
b. Gordon Rector.
PREsRY1ERIAN.-sun unday-Prcaching at 1919 A. NJ.
and ~ P. NJ. Sunday School T.. NJ Prayer
Meeting-Fridays at "a p. NJ. Rev. }. T.
UmSted, Pastor
ST. POLYCARP CATHOLIC CnURCH-SeCond SUNDAY
of every month. at 10 a. NJ. and r. NJ. Rev
Geo. 5. Bradford, Pastor.
CENTENNIAL METHODIST EPISCOPAL (Coloredl-
Sunday-Preachirg at 1917 a. NJ and 10 p NJ
sunday School, r NJ. Rev. d. A. Ridout
Pastor.
A. NJ. f. -Suuday-Preaching at lOl5
A. NJ. and ~ P. NJ. sunday SchOOl-2l5 P NJ
Rev. John G.. Brock Pastor
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23

a SORGHUM DIFFUSION MACHINE
Among the appropriations for the Ag-
ricultural Department is one of forty
thousand dollars for erecting what is
known as diffusion machine for the
purpose Of abstracting saccharine mat
ter from sorghum. II will be CON
structed at once at Wilmington, Del,
whence it will be taken to Ottawa,
Kansas, and thoroughly tested, The
machine has been operated with suo-
cess in France in the manufacture OF
beeet sugar, and great results are am
ticipated for this country from expert
ments with sorghum, which will be
made under the supervision Of the
Agricultural Department. The ma
chine will have a capacity of one hun
dred tons a day.
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
Fruit, Grain and Stock

Freight rcccircd IN Phiadciphja on Tues
dags, Thursdoys and Saturdogs until
tearing time
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23

boilers of any style or power. St;ct,s rower
furnace Work, saw Mill~. Flour Nth 0,Hsi aHsi
Mining Machinery, Steam umps. Cantrff0u Sfu
gai Jumps, Creameries It',rI up, Bari, nnt
GOD MIL, ana General Gachiui-f. anu
Smyrna times., 1884-07-23
ELLIOTT, Johnson & Co.,
BANKERS AND BROKERS,

w WAAinlnglOns Delaware,
Buy and sell Stocks, Bonds and all other sccuri
ties ON commission and have Direct Prjp1fe IT;rce
from their office TO all principal cities and ex.
changes. Grain and Provisions bought and sold
in Chicago. Deposits received and Interest allow
ed. Local securities and mortgages bought ana
auiu' narT-fy
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29
"Lawycrs' Morals.

The Century for November has an
editorial under the head of 'Lawyers'
Morals, from which the following points
are quoted:
/. A lawyer ought to be a gentleman.
His function as an attorney gives him
no dispensation to disregard the ordin-
airy principles of decency and honor.
He has no right to slander his neighbor.
even if his neighbor be the defendant
in cause in which he appears for the
plaintiff. He has no right to bully or
browbeat a witness in cross-examina-
tion, or artfully to entrap that witness
into giving false testimony. Whatever
the privilege of the court may be. the
lawyer who is guilty of such practices
in court is no gentleman out of court.
2. A lawyer ought not TO lie. He
may defend criminal whom he knows
to be guilty, but he may not say to the
ury that he believes this criminal to be
innocent. He may not in any way in
tentlonally convey to the jury the i'm
preston that he believes the man to be
innocent. He may not, in his plea,
pervert OF distort the evidence SO as TO
weaken the force or conceal the mean
ing of it, He is sworn officer of the
court, and his oath should bind him TO
the strictest veraciiy. II would be
quixotic to expect him to assist his a6.
versary, but his obligation to speak the
truth outranks every obligation that
he owes to his client. II il notorious
that some lawyers who would think
ii scandalous to tell falsehood out of
court, in any business transaction, lie
in court in behalf of their
clients, and seem 70 think il rart of
their professional duty. That bar of
Justice, before which by their profession
al obligations, they are bound TO the
most stringent uutblulness, is the very
place where they seem TO consider
themselves ahsolved from the common
law of veracity. So long as the legal
mind is infected with this deadly heresy
we need not wonder that our courts Of
justice often become the instruments o.
unrightousness.
3. A lawyer ought not to sell his SER
vices for the promotion of injustice and
knavery. Swindlers of all types are
aided by lawyers in their deprcdations
upon society. The mock broker who
operates in Wall Street, and strips green
country spectators of their hard.earn.
ed grains by the most nefarious roguerv,
always has an able lawyer as his accom-.
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29
An Unsatisfactory Visit.

have decided not to again visit the
house of Talmacious Peelworth. As a
rule, | am fond of children and enjoy
telling them stories questionable truth
bat of decided moral adornment. ! like
to lift an inquiring little fellow to po-
sition on my knee, study the kaleidoscope
dance of his eve, as costumed thoughts
chase each other round and round, but
when he becomes too intense | want to
put him down and change the subiC Of
went over to Talmacious Peelworth's
the other day to renew the ownership of
book which had loaned to his liter.
AIRY wife several years previously, and
which she had promised to return within
week. Talmacious was not at home,
having gone TO a justice of the peace to
swear ont warrant for the arrest of a
man whose longing taste for fresh pork
had trampled his honesty under his foot.
Mrs. Peelworth and the children, es-
pecially the children, were at home.
Come in," said the lady. "You must
excuse the appearance of everything
this morning William" addressing a
boy with jam across his face, quit tool.
ing with that dog. James, watch Sylvia
and don't let her fall out the door"
William, friendly little fellow, climb
ed up and sat on my knee. William"
exclaimed his mother, don't put your
dirty fingers in the gentleman's mouth"
! could not help but show discourage
ment at this attempt. Whether a
Youngsters fingers be dirty or clean, |
do not care to have him investigate my
front teeth and seek an exploration of
that territory living farther back, for |
do Hot believe that an accomplishment
of his extreme desire, in this direction,
would naturally extend his store of use
full knowledge.
"Gim me this" plucking at a shirt
stud.
am much inclined toward liberality.
but not realizing Williams immediate
need of the stud, felt that it was my
duty to decline an entertainment of his
and to frown down renew
al OF his negotiations.
"Wbat you come here fur ?"
William" called the mother don't
put your hand in the gentleman's pock.
st. Put him down.
LET him remain said l, at the same
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29
MAYBE YOU DO.

When pair of red lips are upturned to your
own.
With no one to gossip about IL,
Do you pray for endurance 10 let them alohef
Well. maybe you debut doubt II
when sly little hand you're PERMITTED to
seize,
With a yevoiy softness about II,
Do YOU think you can drop u with never
squeezef
Well, maybe you can-but doubt il.
When ;apering waist is in reach Of your arm
with "A wonderful plumpness about u,
DO you argue the point 'twiNt the good ana
harmf
We'll, maybe you debut doubt
And If by these tricks you should cal ture a
heart,
With a womany sweetness about II,
viii you guard t., and keep II and act the
good party
W,ll, maybe you will-but ldoubt 1t.
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29
CIGAR.
FRANK prxpsrER SHERMAN.
An A11lA


Alone pun soft vreaths OF blue
That frame most delightful view:-
A little library with two
Together slit ng:
A youth and girl. Upon her knees
A novel with q hero he's
A ghostly circumstance TO these
Quaint wraps she's knitting.
The lover holds the worsted, and
Just touches one fair pinky hand:
How well her bright eyes understand.
For soon, unb.dden.
Two scarlet lips begin to move
A conversation in that groove
Where chosen words quite clearly prove
The subject hidden.
And then the knitting's laid aside:
ne needles dropped; and some sweet guide
leads both his hands, o haply hide
Two others whittier.
listen, and mellow motto
: U}ips through the rosy. rounded throat;
hear the happy lover quote
The novels writer.
The writer.--ah. what kind fates come
10 keep harsh criticism from
His little book: perhaps tits some
Such situation;-
Aptcture similar to this,
P0rtraying brief spell OF bliss,
And punctuated with kissY
Interrogation.
see the faces slowly meet,
And shy. uncertain glanccs greet:
n knitting's fallen to her feet:
And on his shoulder
head IN golden glory lies.
te, fathoming her lovely eyes,
eade the tendercst replies
Love growing bolder.
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29

time attempting TO Put him down; but
he braced his feet on the rounds OF the
chair and climbed back 10 his perch Of
annoyance.
James entered the room with a pole.
"Take that out of here" said the moth
er. Don't swing 1t around that way
Now, just look at you"
He had cracked my head with his
devilish implement.
"My goodness, | never saw such chill
dren. Did it hurt you sir?'
Hurt? Just as well ask man who
had been torn to pieces by a dog if he
were bitten. "Oh, il amounts TO no b.
ing" rubbing lump which had begun
to rise. Madame. if my book be con-
venient, | will take it now"
"James, what did you do with that
gentleman's book2 | saw you with it
the other day."
Didn't do muffin wifit. Bill flung it
in the well"
"Don't care if I did" exclaimed Will
liam, wiping his jan on my shirt bosom,
you tole me ter"
II declare" exclaimed the poor wo-
man, wiping her flushed face with a
checked apron, 81 never did see such
children. IL does seem like they'll take
the place. James, Pm great mind 10
whip you for that"
He had wiped his mouth on the tail
of my linen coat, leaving a stain as
though ] had been struck by a ripe to-
mato. William climbed down. | felt
relieved.
"You must excuse the uncomfortable
warmth ofthis room. as | had to make
up fire for ironing purposes. We are
having the other part of the house plas-
tered and we have to use this room foi
everything. am really sorry about
your book. Let's see. 1t was Eagle
eyed Jake, or the Trail Of the Scorpion,
wasntit?"
"No. il was Felix Holt think"
"Sure enough, it was. | didn't read it
Started to, but didn't like it. William
take that stick out Of the fire. Now
remember. | borrowed 'Eagle-eyed Jake
FROM Mrs. Pemberton. | don't have
much time to- Did / ever see the like
of that ~
William had jabbed the back of my
neck with the burning end of switch
1t was impossible 10 longer disguise my
feelings, for the end ofthe switch, burned
TO coal, had broken off and gone down
my back. have a recollection of seek
ing the woods and hanging my shirt on
a swinging limb. Twisting around and
looking down, | could see a trail as
though a centipede had used me for q
highway. No, shall never again visit
the house of Talmacious Peelworth
Opie 7. Reid in Courier journal.
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29
TO A BEAUTIFUL STRANGER.

A glance, a suile-i sec Il yet;
A moment ere the train was starting;
How strange to tell We scarcely met,
And yet | felt pain at partingl
And you (alas that all the while
'Tis | alone that am confessingD
What thought was lurking in your smile
Is quite beyond my simple guessing.
| only know those beaming rays
Awake In me a strange emotion,
Which, basking In their warmer blaze,
Perhaps might kindle TO devotion.
Ali many heart as staunch as this,
by smiling lips allured from duty,
Has sunk in passions dark abyss
Wrecked on the coral reefs of beautyV
And so tits well the trains swift flight,
That bore away my charming stranger,
Took her-God bless her.-out OF sight
And me as quickly out of danger!
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29
a Woman'- Practical View.

Two ladies were discussing politics, and
one of them was violent free trader
"Well, declare" she said, 81 can't see
for the life of me how anybody can be
in faver Of protection"
Really" replied the othe-, Il don't
know anything about it. What differ
ence would there he?"
what difference? Why, protection
makes eyeryt ing high in price, and
free trade makes everything cheap.
Don't you want TO buy your clothes at
the lowest pricesY
81 don't know that il makes much d;f
ference"
Goodness sakes live, woman, what
do YOU mean2'
why mean just this: Nv husband
has to pay for them anyway, and he
growls Just the same when the bills
come in whether they are big or little,
and why should care whether we have
protection or free trade?"
The other woman began at once to
think so, too Merchant Traveller.
The Osceola times., 1884-11-29
GRANT AND BEAuREG ARD.
They Meet ana Speak as they Pass
by.

by.
II is a mistake in heroes whenever
they neglect to be six feet in height.
Two men met in the publication Office of
a New York magazine, for whic, both
had agreed to write articles. They were
introduced to each other, and | watched
them very interesteily, because they
were General Grant and General Beaure.
gard. The visible splendors of war bad
departed from them with their uniforms,
and their civilian coats were even CLOSED
by wear in spots where gold lace once
had shone. Grant walked heavily with
cane, never having entirely recovered
from the hurt to his hip in last Christ
mas night fall on an icy sidewalk. His
hair and whiskers had the shapes made
familiar by his portraits, but his lowness
of stature was deplorable, because he was
rather slouchy and fat as well. He look
ed more like plain, matter-of-fa't mer-
chant than the foremost general of
great war. Beauregard's head was all that
could have been desired by an admrer,
for it had close-cropped White hair,
moustache and imperial ofthe same hue,
and the outlines ofa military model bat
he needed six inches more of body and
legs in order to inspire any sense of
grandeur. Did they fall into heated an
tagonisu, as champions of once opposed
hosts? Not at all. They did not so
much as discuss the struggle calmly.
Their topic was Grants lameness, which
he said he did not expect to ever get nd
of, and Beauregard's rheumatism, which
he ascribed to the changeable northern
climate. Grant invited Beauregard to
call on him, and Beauregard replied that
he would be delighted to do so-all in
the manner of men who might or might
not mean it. There were only two re-
marks which remotely had reference to
the rebellion.
II don't see that you have changed
much in twenty years." said Grant.
81 have always believed that my cam
paignng did me a world of good" re-
Piled Beauregard. n. Y. Cor. Syracuse
Herald.