Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-10-31
PLEASANTRIES.
The music Of the wild waves Is Nep.

IHE music OF the wiz waves 10 O Nep-
tune.
FISH notes are scaled for q high rata
Of interest.
BEST two in three-The surviving
couple out of triplets.
MATCHES may be made in heaven, but
they have most decided smell Of the
other place.
A GUN is loaded with powder; q table
is loaded with the delicacies of the sea-
son. Both go off, and both kill.
WHEN a revolver is aimed at man in
tic heat of discussion, he generally
looks Mt it as pointed argument.
GCIBoLLARD, most candid of philoso-
pliers, remarks, Would that 1 had
10000 a year" "To do whatp" "To
do nothing"
" ETIQUETTE" writes to us to inquire
if, i'll our opinion, it would be proper for
him to support young lady if she was
taken with faint-even if he hadn't
been introduced. Proper; young man,
certainly-prop her by oil means. -
UgrUland Sun.
TX oden times when people heard
SINE swindler huge had come to grief,
They used good Old Saxon word,
And called that man a. "thief."
But language such AZ that to-day
Upon too Mays feelings CRATE
sJpeople smile and simply Fay,
He rehypothecates."
A CRY from the heart: Little DUH.
Cooking up suddenly from her history
bookt"Oh, mummy darling, l do SO
wish I'd lived under James the H."
Mamma-"Why?" Little Dunce-"Be-
cause see here that education was
very much neglected in his reign p
Punch.
A YOUNG wife lately lost her husband,
who was about 70 years old. "But
how did you ever happen to marry O
man Of that age?" asked one of her
friends. "Why," said the young widow,
"you see l only had the choice between
two old men. and, Of course, took the
Oldest. PARTS Figaro.
JOSEPH Snow, of Indiana, told his
wife to shut her head. That was TWEEN.
ty-one years ago, and she has not spoken
since, though constantly living together
as man and wife.-New, York Times.
A Chicago man told his wife TO shut hel
head. That was a week ago, but it is
not believed that the lump on his head
will disappear for several days.-Ch Chicago
Tribune.
ENTER Jones, the magnificent, with
stranger-"A little surprise for you,
Mrs. il Let me introduce Mr.. Wig
gins, whom have persuaded 10 take
his chance and come and try pot-luck
with us. And l hope you won't starve
him, hey, my lover" Mrs. Jones
"There's no fear Of that, Mr.. Virgins
/ got my husbands telegram in time.
Tableau, with green fire.-Piach.
THE nervous mother of bright little
boy was alarmed lest he should take the
whooping- cough which prevailed in the
neighborhooi. She talked so much
about it and worried over it, that she had
infected the child with her fears 10 sucf
IN extent that he would scarcely leave
her side. One night after the little fol
low had been put to bed and asleep, {
donkey was driven past tho house, and
when just opposite set up his he-haw.
With a shrek the little fellow was out Of
bed, screaming at the top Of hi
voice, 1.-THE whooping-oough is coming
mamma; the whooping-cough is com
ing"
SCHooLMAsTER. -" Noah had tire,
sons-Shem, Ham and Japhet-now
answer me, who was the iather OF thes,
gentlemen2" Boys silent. "Yo,
cannot tellP Well, now, let's try again
You know Mr.. Sparkes who lives owe
the way?" Boys" Will Sparkes ?
Master -" Yes, surely. Well, then
Mr.. Sparkes has got three boys-Tom
my, John and Bill. Now, who is tn,
father Of those boys2 You know then
very we'll" Buys" Mr.. Sparkes.
Master-"Very good-very gaod. boys
indeed that is quite right Now, then
Noah had three sons-Shem, Ham au
Japhet. Who" Boys--in q hurry
"Mr. Sparkea."
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