The new North-west., 1884-06-20
DEER LODGE, MONTANA, JUNE 90 1884
WHOLE NO. 7SO
WHY WE LAUGH.
The impression grows that Ward spent
that money on sugar to swesten Norfolk
strawberries Phil Times

The impression grows that Ward spent
that meney on sugar to swesten Norfolk
strawberries.-Pha.T Times.
Several pairs Of burst lungs were swept out
] the convention building yesterday morning.
They are supposed to belong to Blaine men.
-Chicago Times. :.
"a female horse thief" has been arrested
In Southern Illinois. "That's singular. We
never thought horse thief was particular
about the gender Of the animals he stole
Ha,okeye.
Queen Victoria Is said to have nineteen
grand-daughters. When the cid lady and
her grand. daughters get on q street car y
good many loyal Britains have 10 hang on
to the straps,-Courier-Journds. -.
When the St. Louis merchants crowded
up to the bulletin-bosrds on which the panic
news was written, they gave one look and
tarned away disappointed. They thought it
was the baseball score.-Mil,odukee Senti-
mel.
The Call admits that New York is pretty
big city, but thinks that IN making up the
Union, 1t is not so big for its size, after all.
It took a Philadelphia failure eleven years
ago to knock things nationally
Herald.
A fashion item says: "Tanned kids are
coming into fashion again." 1t will be hard
er than ever new TO coax boys to 60 to school.
"Tanned kids" went out of fashion when the
old-style pedagogue stepped down and out
with his rattan.-Norristo~n Herald.
Pension Agent--On what grounds do you
demand q pension? veteran---I lost an arm
in the service. Pension Agent-Lost an arm!
Why, man, you've got two arms! Veteran
Oh, doLt mean these. The arm lost
was Of the Springfield pattern. - Boston
Transcript.
A writer on s'tha care Of the hair" says
"The hair is the covering of the roof of the
home Of thought and palace OF the soul.'"
1t is also sometimes the covering of the top
of the bureau and back of the chair, but this
fact Is not alluded to in the article.-Norris-
to,cn Herald.
"Corneil Vanderbilt" said broker at the
Windsor Hotel, "cabled three hundred words
to his father explaining the situation, and
asking what should be ,lone, William Fl.
took Just three words to answer. They were
"Feed my lambs" It looxs as though the
Vanderbilt stocks would be given away.
1t is said that Ella Wheeler's husband
weighs one hundred and eighty pounds and
has q fist like . siedge-hammer. Thank
goodness We never said anything dsrogatory
to the quality of his wife's poetry! The are
only two great poets In this country, aud
Ella Wheeler Is the other.-Norristo,r Her.
ale.
Statistics show that suicides are more nu-
merous In hot weather and that about so per
cent. are males. 1t Is not surprising that so
many men-young men particularly--should
commit suicide In hot weather. It Is about
the only way they can escape the ice-cream
epidemic that RACES during the season.
Norristoun Herald.
"Where is the bar?" asked q gentleman,
hurriedly, rs he registered at q Chicago
hotel.
"Just around to the left, SIR"
"Where is the bar ?" asked another gentle
map 8 'as ssoaHa saai d g|tiss tSs Is,
"Where Is the ba--"
"Just around to the left, sir. BY Jove,"
the clerk continued, "ths delegates are be-
ginning to come in."-Phila. Call.
Lock at This Man. He Is A Printer. He
Is Smoking Black Old Pipe. 1t Is Friday
Night. He will Tell you He rather Prefers
q Pipe, and Always Smokes one, When He
can, in Preference To the Best Cigar. It is
Now Saturday Evening. Look Again at the
Printer. What is that In His Mouth? He
is Smoking II. 1t IL A cigar. He has Been
paid OF since We first Saw him, Ny child.
Now, then, You See how q difference In
tastes May be accounted For.--Lo,oeH Cit.
izen. ..'5