The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-11-15
PuNeENT PARAGRAPHS.

What is the difference between =
legislative clerk and musicianP One
knows the notes and the other notes the
noes ourier-Journal
-Teacher-"How many wars werc
waged with SpainP" Pupil = Six"
Teacher "Enumerate them" Pupil
"One, two, three, four, five, six, -
French Joke.
"A little boy complained to his
mother that the teacher couldn't re-
member his name. ''When she speaks
to me-" he says, ''she always calls me
Silence"
Wont you take half of this poor
applepn said a pretty damsel. mo,
thank you. / would prefer a better
half" Eliza blushed and referred the
young man to her papa
The daughter Of New York mill
lionaire has eloped with street broker;
Coachmen have come to be so particular
in their selection of brides that some
rich girls have to put up with street
brokers. -LouisgiHe C0urier-Journdl.
Yes, SIR" said the entomologist,
II can tame flies so that when whistle
they will come and alight on my hand"
"Pshaw!' said the bald-headed man,
chats nothing. They come and alight
on my head without my whistling"
The entomologist sat down. Somer-
vile Journal.
cit is a great pity that you come
dangling at my heels, Mr.. Nonentity,"
said consequential lady to her senti-
mental adorer. "You remind me of q
barometer that is filled with nothing in
the upper story" .'Most amiable OF
your SEX" said he, "fof SO fiattering
compliment, let me remind you that
you occupy my upper story entirely
v. Y Ledger.
They kissed:
Beneath shady tree they sat;
He held her hand, she held his hat;
held my breath and lay quite fiat;
They Kissed-I saw them do it.
He held that kissing was crime;
She held her head up every time;
held my peace and wrote this rhyme
While they thought no one knew 1t.
"A man wanted new pair of trous-
ers yesterday at leading clothiers. He
took to the tailor photograph of him.
self in Prince Albert coat, choker col
lar, and necktie touched up with blue.
A cane and hat were depicted on
side-table. II want a pair of pants, said
he Ito match that coat and tie, and
please remember that the cane is light
colored. What can you do for me for
four dollarsp" They did him up some
thing in green with yellow wave rum
ming through it.-Phitadelphia Press.
Mrs. Parvenu had been abroad, and
when she returned she had much to tell.
One day a lady was talking to her. 'sAh,
my dear Mrs. Parvenu, did you 90 into
Italyp" 20, yes" was the reply, 1--WE
were all over it and saw everything"
Ibid you visit the Vaticanp" Eyes, We
were there, but it was erupting fearful
that day, throwing up lava and smoke
and stuff, and they concluded it would
not be safe to go up to the TOP. 1t was
fine spectacle from the conservatory Of
the hotel, and enjoyed it quite as much
as if l had been right on the spot. ~
Merchant Traveller.
George had proposed and had bsen
accepted .sWell,'' she said, II can
sing and play on the piano and harp,
can paint. and at the seminary l wss
up in the fine arts, and political economy
and logic, and can crochet beautifully.
and play lawn tennis, and, and-thatss
about all, l think. Now, tell me what
are some Of your accompl Gkmentu
Georgep" II haven't got ~.
single ouep" ssWell,"he IA w II
sigh, III the worst should come 70 90
worst, think / might be able to cook. :