Morning journal and courier., 1884-07-23
AMBITIOUS.

The ambitious American girl who weds a ! foreign title is like the independent voter 1 she stands up to be counted. d.-Lowel1 Cou- l rier.
 EPhwat wud Oi want wid bicycle !' said | the ancient Irishman to the boys who had been chaffing him. E'Bedad, Old as soon walk afoot as to ride afoot Howell Citi- zen.
 I Another woman that George Washington kissed has just died. The more we hear about George the more we are inclined to think that he rather pulled the wool over his companions eyes.-Boston Post. Always say sweet things when you can, my son. A man at any moment may be obliged to eat his own words, and it is in your power to make your food honey or wormwood.-Boston Transcript. "Where are your kids?' a society man asked, looking at the bare hands of 8 poor but deserving editor at Vanderbilt's party. 'tAt home in bed, was the indignant reply Do you suppose I'd bring my children to 8 party like this!"-Free Press. q want your daughter and modest dowry to boot" said young Green to old Keener. 'FWell, I've wanted something to boot for 8 long time, , said the old man, land I think you'll do very nicely" The defeated candi- date disappeared like presidential boom.- Exchange.
 Two men were under umbrella at New Haven the other day during thunder show er The men were unharmed, but the light ming shivered the parachute to atoms. This seems like an awful warning to umbrella stealers, and will probably be quoted as such by moralists; but 1t should be remembered that it was the umbrella which got hurt.- Boston Transcript.
 A mother frantically told the druggist that her little boy had swallowed an entire bottle of the medicine that was to be taken ''three drops every three hours" The druggist pumped him out for $3, filled up another bottle which he charged another dollar for, and softly patted the hagon of aqua pura as he stood it back on his shelf, and remarked: 'eAh, my good friend, there is no druggists mistake in you. u."-Pittsburg Chronicle Tele- graph.
 "There is this difference between us" said the needy tramp, looking the editor full in the eye-"you fill a long felt want, and I want long felt fill" The editor wept, and with many muffied blow hewed off frag- ment of wedding cake that had been sent in with the notice and handed it to the wan derer ''Fill up on that, he said, land you will feel it long after all trivial fond records have been wiped away from the subtraction table of your memory. ."-Burling gton Hawk eye.
 A few weeks ago 8 gentleman entered the office of well-known insurance agent, and tossing 8 paper on the counter, said to the clerk: ''That's run out and want to get it renewed" The clerk unfolded the document, and with a smile inquired "Are you sure that this has run out?' ''Oh, yes, j said the gentleman, ''my wife told me it run out yes terday." 'FWell, am sorry for you; but we are not taking that kind of risks now," re- sponded the clerk, as he handed it back to him. It was his marriage certifcate.-Chris- tian Register.
 Health officer
 Go carry of that old dead horse,
 You know it should be gone. Dead animal contractor
 How can carry off that which
 You know is carri-on?
 Cincinnati Merchant Traveller