The Bozeman weekly chronicle. (Bozeman, Mont.) 1883-1889, 1884-09-17
The Bad Boy.

The Bad Boy.
Say, what kind ofcompanv you keep
ing nowadays" asked the groceryman Of
the had boy, as he leaned against a
hitching post outside the grocery, look
ing at some melons and wondering if it
wouldn't Ike just his luck to find out that
the ripest looking one was green when
he got it out in the alley. 81 saw you
Sunday noon with one Of the hardest
looking boys in town, one Of those news
boys. and ] presume you were going
fishing. tell you such company will
ruin you"
20, l guess not" said the hoy, as he
took his knife and plugged melon,
tasted Of the red end of the plug and put
it back. "That was my premium Sun
day school scholar"
premium Sunday school scholar" ex-
claimed the groceryman, as he turned
the melon over SO the plug wouldn't
show, and charged the melon to the bad
boys father. well, he was the worst
looking scholar ever saw. What did
you do with him? Put him in a
cage?"
"No, he is at large yet. You see my
teacher gives premium for new schO-
lars, and captured the one you saw me
with, but he like to broke up the school.
He is one Of these boys that won't talk
like other people. posted him about
the lesson, which was about the Oldest
man, and the strongest man, and the
meekest man, and about the prodigal
son, and all that, and thought he would
be an ornament to our class, but the
teacher couldn't keep from laughing.
She asked him who was the strongest
man, and / had told :im it was Samson,
and the darn fool said it was John Sulli-
van, and when the teacher said Samson
was the strongest man, he wanted to bet
herthat Sullivan could knock Samson
out in three rounds, Marquis of Queens
bury rules. was never 80 mortified in
my life, and l hunched the boy and told
him the teacher was right, and he hauled
off and was going to hit me right there.
Dear me, wished had never got him
to 90 with me. The teacher told about
the prodigal son, and then asked my
scholar what made the prodigal son 60
away from home, and he answered that
the prodigal son had stepmother, and
his father TASTED him with foot. o,
my, how felt. Then she asked the boy
what the prodigal sons father did when
he came home, and whispered to the
boy that he fell upon his neck and kiss
ed him, and he said Jumped on his
neck and chewed him. The teacher
telt awfully, but she said the answer was
not correct, and for the boy to guess
again. and whispered to the boy he
fell ON his neck What do you think
that fool boy answered? He said to the
teacher, oh, l know. The old man
slipped on banana peel and fell on the
back of his neck
II thought the teacher would sink
through the floor, and whispered to her
that she needn't pay me no premium on
such recruit as that, but she said he
would pull through all right. She asked
him who the Oldest man was, and he
it all right, 'Methuselah,' but
when she asked him how old Methuselah
was he had to get in some slang. He
;aid he was \ regular old timer from
away back, a General Jackson democrat.
The teacher said that the boy must not
mention politics in Sunday school, and
hen he was mad again, and because
old him to he good he pinched my leg
ill it YVES black and blue.
"The teacher asked the boy who was
he meekest man. and Whispered to the
10Y that it was Moses, and he said right
,ut loud Nose The teacher then asked
him what made Moses 80 meek, and he
aid, Cause Nose didn't have no sandv
The teacher asked him what he meant
~ Moses not having any sand and he
aid, why, gall, Of course. He didn't
ave gall enough to get his back up and
vallup people,"
n ton nI,nr n 10 hn fs.nn nj
aid the boy was the worst she ever saw.
The asked him why Job was afflicted
18th boils, and he said, cause jobs liver {
'as out Of order, and he didn't take no
ills The teacher was disguised and 6
lid We could be excused. When we {
ot out doors, l told the boy he had dis s
raced me and the Sunday sch )ol, and l
as ashamed of him, and then he hit me '
q the neck with SOME send he had tied a
, in stocking, and yelled fight fight S
ID run away, and when the people C
me out of church, thinking somebody t
ID yelled 'firev they found me with the 8
use bleed, and laid all the fuss to me. s
ell, that settles it. don't try to con- t.
rt no more homemade heather. Here $
ter will give my money to the heath t
/ across the ocean, where you don't get &
amed of your converts, and get slugged t.
the neck. Give me that melon you h
larged to ma" b
"All right take your oil melon. 1t IS [
cen, anyway" said the groceryman.
'ut what is your pa doing now? see
i'm on the corner talking good deal,
Ia smoking cigars, and he seems to v
I've money, but never see him doing il
lything." fl
"Well, pa is conundrum,'' said the n
ID boy "This week he is dissatisfied Il
orking man, think he told ma, and is a
'ound telling people that his candidate a
r president has got to be elected or the c
untry is ruined. Last week he was Il
ganizing a club to carry torches, and g
,xt week he has an engagement to pose "
laborer ruined by tariff, or some n
ing. 1t don't make much difference to
which party he works for each week Il
long as he gets his salary and cigars, q
it his nerves are all unstrung and he
mplains of overwork. Masays if there h
rs one or two more political parties for
A. ~