St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-07-19
w. G. KENTZEL, Editor
CONVICTION, ST. TAMMANY PARISH, La. JULY 10,

gent in your own business and be con-
tent with its rewards. You may not
walk so many miles in six days as Fitz-
gerald, but you can sleep great deal
more in that time; and if you do not
get SO much money for it, neither do
you get so many blisters. On your little
salary at the suspender counter, Won
can not clean up $500, COO on Wall Street
this week. But, then, neither can you
be cleaned out Of $45O,OOO next week.
fou may not be able to set the fashions
in male attire. but you can fill your
soul with nameleSs Joy and an eXalt-
alton of celestial birth, and climb to
the top of high Olympus, and lean back
and pile your feet on the sofa and make
yourself easy with the immortal gods,
by paying your landlady every Satur-
day and Keeping even with your tailor.
You may never be the Washington cor
respondent of a society paper, but then
your hair won't turn white in the ago.
nized effort to explain what it is about a
senator's wife, who has red hair,
freckles, no upper teeth, hair wart on
her nose, and twang in her shrill
voice. that "makes her so be-
witchingly beautiful and univer-
sally admired" just be diligent in
your own business. and wait in patience
for the reward of your diligence. 1t
may be little slow in coming. The
mills of the gods grind slowly, so does
a hand-organ on the Last Rose of
Summer" stop, but it always gets there.
And don't pay more for the reward than
1 10 rv,l
on twenty-nine cents day will be apt
to die wealthy, but he won't die very
fat. 1t is the liberal soul that shall be
made fat.
AND HAVE ONE TO MIND.
Again. my hearers, you will observe
that the exaltation is promised the man
who Is diligent in "business. Then
man or woman who labors diligently
for years, until the ability to write
forty-four chapters of the Bible on a
postal card does not stand before Kings
because that sort of thing isn't busi-
ness. The man who spends all his life
trying to invent a perpetual motion
machine has nothing to do with busi-
ness. The Inventor" so to speak. of
the keeley motor will not stand before
Kings; he will not even stand before
his own stockholders, although they
have often tried to get behind him.
The man who is diligent in construct
ing one hundred and nine sentences
and three hundred and fourteen words
out of "Constantinople" will not stand
anywhere save at the head of the
spelling class, and even there he is in
danger of denunciatiou and overthrow
by the "speling reirm acociachin. !"
The man who diligently educates his
| feet until he can waltz au hour and
| seventy-eight minutes without stopping.
does not stand before Kings, because
''as snow in summer. and as rain in har-
vest. so honor is not seemly for a man
| who wears his brains in his shoes.
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS.
| 1t seems to me, beloved, that the sue
cess of the dilligent people who stand
before Kings of various degree. is in a
measure due to their successful dill
gence, and furthermore. this successful
diligence indicates the existence of cer-
tain qualities essential to success. True.
| there are Captains who creep in through
the cabin windows and there are Cen
erals unfit to be Sergeants, but these
pampered pets of unjust favoritism do
not ..stand' before Kings; they bow
and crouch before them. But when one
is successful in spite of adverse criticism
and sharp competition, l am inclined to
think there must be some reason for
his success. You ask me, for instance.
what is the secret of Mrs. Langtry's
success? Well, l think it is her success.
But you say "There are twenty girls in
Brooklyn more beautiful than She" 1
don't doubt it, think there are twenty
one. And 'they are more gifted, and
blessed with better education?" Yes, l
know that. "And their social position
is higher?' l should say so, my
brother. "And they have greater his
trionic talent?" Indeed they have; I
agree with you. .'They can act all
around herr" OF course, they can.
'.And they ought to have her place on
the American stage:" Well, then, why
don't they have it?
IS SUCCESS.
Verify, beloved, when people talk like
that. and often they do, begin to be-
lieve that none but unsuccessful peo-
pie succeed in this country. As l
wander up and down the land find
about all the real talent and merit in
the back seats, picking up scanty
crumbs that fall from the groaning
tables of successful pretenders, while
the sad, voiceless spirit ofjustice sits on
the front fence and broods with ten
der mystery over the devious ways of
man and the uncertain favors of tickle
fortune and pitiless fate.
rNSFEN RJT-SHES
Scarcely village do 1 enter but the
villagers proudly point out for my ad
miration young man whois '.funnier'
that ever Mark Twain dared to be.
Many of Twain's best jokes, indeed,
they assure me, were stolen bodily from
young "Funniboy." Why. he keeps
the debating society in roar of laugh
ter all the time he is on his feet. He is
called 1.-The Artemus Ward of Gullivan
County," and the northeastern Bum
blejohn has predicted for him q future
equal to none. l have been introduced
in nearly every State in the Union. and
usually, too, in the smaller towns, some
distance from any railroad, to ministers
of the gospel who could preach the
boots off Mr.. Beecher; who were more
original, more eloquent, possessing .