St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-12-06

paper, but you do not print enough
news matter. You should print at least
a full page of news. / don't care any
thing about your protective tariff and
tariff for revenue only, or anything of
that soxt. l want the news when l
take a paper. | want full account of
murders and suicides and railroad col
lisions and divorce cases. Don't send
me the paper any longer. I'll come in
and pay you what l owe you when l
have sold my corn; good day."
And then there was light step at the
door, and person wearing severe
countenance and shawl came in and
took the vacant chair.
Il am very sorry," he said, IN meas
urcd tones, and with a fixed, critical
stare at the end of the editors nose, Il
am very sorry to notice that you are
giving in your columns SO little atten-
ton to the cause of Prohibition-the no.
rouse Yourself upon this great question,
and give your readers a page of it
weekly. l am not subscriber of your
paper. but borrow it every week of
my neighbor. and loan him the Banner
of Light in exchange; SO you will OBJ
serve that l have been one of your
faithful readers, and know just where
you fall short of good newspaper.
l will leave you few tracts from which
you should make liberal extracts from
time to time. You will notice that this
one, entitled Dash the Cup Away is
written by myself. You are at liberty
to print it in full. And when I come
across anything particularly good in
the columns of the Banner OF Light, I'll
cut it out and send it round to you.
You have a grand opportunity to make
your paper grow in circulation and in
fiuence. and l hope you will come
boldly to the front on the right course,
and no longer continue to devote your
valuable space to trivial matters. BY
the way; have you a few exchanges
that you are done with? All, that will
do: good day.
In the door the man in the shawl
passed person with merry twinkle
in his eyes.
81 like your paper-it is first rate"
he said, as he dropped into the vacant
chair. "eXcept that it does not contain
humor enough. Why don't you fill her
full of Jokes and bright things by the
funny fellows, and make your readers
laugh? Nobody cares a cent for those
political editorials and those scientific
articles. and that stuff about the tariff
you print. That puts me to sleep.
Give us plenty of jokes to shake q
mans liver up and let the tariff take
care of itself. That's all. Be in to see
you again when I've more time; ta, ta.'
Tne next person who took the vacant
chair had q countenahce as solemn AS q
secondhand hearse. He didn't look as
if he had smiled more than once in
forty years, and the village editor took
him for an undertaken who wanted to
advertise patent embalm:ng process
and pay in trade.
Sir" SAID the solemn man, after .
silence that became very painful to the
village editor, 81 am grieved to notice
the tone of levity that has recently per-
vaded the columns of your paper. and
l am compelled TO ask you on that ac-
count to take my name off your book.
You seem to forget that this is world
OF calamity and woe, and that spirit
of levity in the press is unseemly. and
tends to draw attention from the solemn
realities of life and the near proximity
of death. Last week YOU declined to
print my article entitled reflections
on the grave alleging that you did not
have room for it, and then gave up
nearly a column of your paper to frivo-
lous Jokes. 1 do not intend to read any
thing light this year. That is all l have
to say: good afternoon"
The door closed behind the solemn
man and softly opened again to admit
q dreamy-eyed man with poetic brow
and a general expression that seemed
to Indicate that he wanted something
he had never had and never expected
to have.
Il merely came to remark" he be-
gan, as he took the vacant chair, THAT
YOU are sadly neglecting the literary
department of your paper. l not only
have noticed it myself, but several of
my friends have called my attention to
it. You should by all means run con-
tinued story and have two or three good
short stories in each issue. Good stO-
ries is the thing that is wanted to make
a village paper popular. Everybody
YOU ask will tell you that. A little
ews and some local matter and the
l,rriages and deaths should be printed
ohourse; but you shouldn't let any
tmr crowd out the stories. don't
taxi our paper, but my brother-in-law
aoeS.n nd / borrow it Of him. l have
lhtenol for some time to mention this
mater you, but could never think OF
II ;,.al nelol. ~ hen | was in town. If you
thnk tue suggestions are of any value
to you. nay send me your paper
: Sra'ui.s ~ year. Allow me to bid
sof,Iv tne a. = xtyed man went out as
solt's d J a. n'oment ays' note falls due:
person dropped, . the vacant chair,
sharp % and quick. tones tha' were
81 don't think l NJ ,b;s ,.ner an
' other year. You AZ y not o' mst;no t; As
ggoportunities. gopo You al suld with, with your your
|, readers enough localo. gMins !~ oo.i
matter should be the ch.sseet os q
village paper Everythiee1aa.sa'ssb e1as should M
\ be made to give way to ,so mat,ar o
i | A story now and then wht, ION % have
;: plenty of room. and bit osout sotru n" TO
r please the young folks who Se''y iove )"
and a little news, are all weE