Bismarck tribune., 1884-02-15

the fur fly whom they come together.
"A BlsMARw young man says he meets with
cot back every time he goes to zee his girl. She
sets the clock back 20 that be will have daylight
to see by when he goes home at midnight.
THERE is marked and pleasing improve
ment in the papers all over Illinois. The edi-
tors are all in Washington, and the people are
praying that Well, the people are praying.
CHICAGO is disgusted with new opera re-
Gently introduced there. There is period of
only five minutes between the different acts, and
it is really dangerous to be obliged to hurry when
the pavements are 30 icy.
LOUISE MICHEL passes her time in prison,
writing poetry and stories. If she has the least
desire to secure pardon she had better begin
to show some signs of reformation, and evinoe
q disposition to lead better life.
THERE is probably more romance in Journal
ism than in any of the other professions. Ger
tainly more labor.-New York News. True and
just think Of the poetry-Philadelphia Call.
And the pie for dinner every other Sunday
A PATTERSON girl cured lover of his infatu-
alton by striking him over the head with a bot
tie of patent medicine. The proprietors of the
stuff are after him for q sworn certificate to add
to the almanac literature of the day.
TIE Chicago Tribune asks: "Oan q woman
run steamer" A Chicago woman can, prob
ably. All that is necessary is to stand up on
| A. ~L.-
swearful oratory down on the mate.
A aREENBACK paper says the democrats of
Chicago are sitting around like a lot of frogs.
Carl Pretzel surely could not have seen the item.
His paper is painfully slow in catching onto q
neat reference to the hop position party.
YES, Inquirer" great joy will sometimes
cause insanity. Even as we read your note the
exchange editor called our attention to an item
stating that Newport man who drew prize in
lottery rushed home and kissed his wife.
If the portrait of Lieutenant Rhodes, the hero
who escaped from the lost steamer City of
Columbus, is true one as published in the pa
pers, people will think that providence was
very direlect in its duty to allow him to escape.
THE New York Mail nominates Ben Butler for
governor of Utah. Mr.. Butler will be remem-
bered as the gentleman who had some sort of q
difficulty with the Earl of Tewksbury short
time since, regarding skin game into which he
was capped.
IT is remarkable what great fire alittle spark
will kindle. Boston paper ventured the re-
mark that ben Butler is poser," and now it
is being heralded all over the land that the man
with the bewildered eyes is going to pose in .
dime museum.
A MINISTER out in Montana is strongly CEN
sured by bis congregation for indulging in roller
skating. They think it detraots from his dig
nifty to SEE the custodian of their religious vel
fare lying on his back, trying to kick the roof
off the atmosphere.
A New YORK merchant returned to his Office
the other day, and while working of his CORES
pondence dated each letter January And, 1884,"
This is the most successful and most extensive
New Year drunk we have heard of up to the
hour of going to press.
The Chicago News names General Sherman
for president and Emma Abbott for vice presi-
dent, on kissing platform. With Beecher for
secretary of state and Ella Wheeler for attorney
general, what paroxysmally intense fusion adj
ministration we would have.
AN eastern paper says that General Sherman
has taken the presidential bee by the horns.
just a word, general. If you hear it give the
command for the rear reserve to advance to the
front you had better let 60 real quick. The
danger of bee lies wholly in its rear reserve.
GEORGIA man left his wife because she
threw boiling soap on him. The Georgians are
sensitive. In Arkansaw the husband would we
paid no attention to the little piece of wayward.
ness'-[ Burlington Free Press. Wouldn't, eh?
Did you ever converse with an Arkansaw man
on the subject of soap?
SCIENTISTS now assert that the earth was peo-
pied O,000. 600 years before Adam located the
Garden of Eden az tree claim. However,
they can advance no clinching argument in
support of the claim. Fashion plates cannot be
traced beyond the period when Adam and Eve
were the leaders of their set in society.
PHILADELPHIA CALL: As Miss Emily Faith
full and Miss Kate Field are both IN Utah,
wouldn't it be we'll for the government to post
pone any action in regard to Mormonism until
the effect of the visit of these ladies develops
itself? Even Mormonism should not be jumped
upon when it is down.
TIE imprint of bare foot, twentysix inches
in length and twelve in width, has been found in
the sand in the Grand Canon, Colorado. Scien-
tists are tracing it up and Kate Field il said to
be acting real uneasy and seems to be laboring
under an unusual depression Of spirits.
Now to the aged maiden all over the land
The high.oolored valentine goes;
Il showeth slim shanks and skeleton hand
And mole on the deck of the nose;
But to the sweet maiden with eyes like the
dove,
Whom the average young man would win,
Goes . rare work Of art, for which, in his love,