The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-10-16

ready that it won't keep
What" asks very tender writer,
"what can take the place of babies?'
Sh! Bend your ear little closer and
we'll tell you. Other babies. You
didn't suppose this years crop would
last forever. did you? Goodness, man,
it will be clear out of style in eighteen
months. brooklyn Eagle.
The neatest fraud in Saratoga is said
to be girl who is apt at making such
very disingenious remarks as this:
''Deary me, Sophy, you have just the
same perfume in your scent bottle that
your brother Dolph puts on his mus
tache." And then she wonders wide
eyed what they are laughing at.
For the sake of truth men should be
more careful how they talk. 1t was
but yesterday that we heard gentle
man say of a pretty girl who had just
passed: ''She is sweet GIRL" when
on investigation we found that he had
never even kissed her. Such talk is an
outrage on ruth.-Kes,tucky State Jour-
nal.
A negro fell from four-story build
ing in Charleston on the piazza shed
below, and, rolling of, fell on the
ground in the yard. He was insensi-
BILE for a short time, but quickly recov-
cred. and, on being asked if he was
seriously hurt, he answered: "Oh, no."
He had fallen on his head, and no bones
were broken.
1t is said that the sanitary condition
of Toulon is so bad that it catches all
the infectious diseases going. Up to
the hour of going to press, however, it
had not caught the baseball fever, and
the European papers, therefore. are a
little previous in demanding that the
town be torn down and rebuilt.
rissoVnHerald..
Masked hugging parties are popular
at church fairs in Missouri. By pay
ing ID cents man is allowed to hug
girl, but he is first blindfolded. 1t
makes q man awful mad to find, on re-
moving the bandage from his eyes,
that he has been hugging his own wife.
Fifteen cents gone for nothing.
erUitte Journal.
About two hundred different guide
books TO summer resorts have been re-
pretty, but lack something. We have
been trying to think what it was for a
month back, and it has just occurred
to lis that he only thing to make them
thing of beauty and JOY forever is 9
pass accompanying each Br00Glyn
Times.
''How wet the poor dear bows hair
is exclaimed the loving mother, as
she placed her hand tenderly upon her
childs head. PLAYING out in the
hot sun makes the perspiration start
from every pore" And little William
Henry turned aside as he thought to
himself that he would 60 in swimming
again just as often as he could while
the hot weather lasted. --Lo2OeU Citi-
cen.
Scene at the San Jose train: Gen.
tleman in seat. Enter lady. Gentle
man rises. gives his seat to lady, leaves
his Valise under the seat, goes into the
smoking car. Next station. Young
lady looking out at window. Man
rushes along, looking for his valise.
Young lady hands it out. Next sta
ton. Gentleman comes from SMOKING
car, bends down under seat, apologies
to lady for troubling her to rise. Young
lady gets up. No valise. Tableau-
san francisco Chronicle.
The tallest bird known to ethnolo-
gists was found by Professor Herbert
in the lower eocene deposits near
Paris. France. 1t was over twelve feet
in height and could have bitten a mans
head of as easily as Woodpecker can
nip cherry. We cannot be too thank
full that this bird has gone out of fash
ion and existence. Ladies would have
wanted to wear ii on their hats, and
men who sat behind such bonnet orna-
ments IN the theatres would be unable
to see whether ballet OF 81 prayer
meeting was in progress on the stage.
-NorriStoWn Herald.
One of our English cousins was re-
Gently placed at dinner by the side of
charming woman who had been re-
quested by the hostess to amuse the
stranger. They were getting on very
well, when ne drew attention to guest
opposite by saying: 80, say, do look
at that spotted man: did you ever see
such an object?" And the lady said
with much dignity, to stop his prattle
if possible: Yes; that is my hus-
band" And the wretch said: 'Oh,
how jolly. you know. because you can
tell me-is he really spotted all over?"
Tne happy lot of the streot-car driver
is thus described by an ironical driver
in New York. The horses have to walk,
you know, but the driver just leans up.
against the dashboard and rides. If
you're fond of ridin' it's a soft Job.
Fourteen shillin' day is big sum of
money to pay out for seventeen hours
work. but the company is rich and can
stand it. 1t costs driver very little
to live. because he doesn't have time to
eat anything used to keep most of
my money in the bank, bit so many
OF EN- are Dustin up that l drawed it
all out, and now I've got it up to the
house packed away in barrels,
She was a remarkably sensible Young
lady who made the request of her
friends that after her decease she
should not be buried by the side of
brook, where babbling lovers would
wake her from her dreams; nor in any
grand cemetery, where sight-seers,
coming over epitaphs, might DISTRACT
her, but be laid away to take her last
sleep under the counter of some mer-
chant who did not advertise in the
newspapers. There, she said. was to
be found peace surprising all under
standings depth OF quiet slumber, ON
which neither the sound of the buovant
foot of youth nor the weary shuttle of
Old age would ever intrude.
(Ga. NeWs.