Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-05-21
Is norvously prostrated.

Is ncrvously Frustrated.
What with Mr.. Barnum, MI. Fore
| paugh and the two white elephants. the
current year presents q most gloomy
outlook for the adjective department Of
Webster's Unabridged.
Said a conscientious a~uctioneer:
Ladies' and gentlemen. there IL no
sham about the carpets. They are gen.
uine tapestry carpets. ! bought them
of old Tapestry himself"
Music" said DR.. johnson, sis the
least di~sagreeable OF all noises" The
learned Doctor did not know every
thing. He lived next door to q
cornet amateur or q piano-banging
young lady.
Perhaps no man was ever more dis
turbed by q trife than the reporter
who, concerning the appearance of the
belle of a town at o picnic, intended to
say '.she looked au fait." and found
the types had it '.shs looked all feet. "
At u church sociable at Goshen, Mo.
Miss DeLand has been voted the pref
test oma in tho place and Miss Day
tho next hendsomest. Tho proceeding
might have been concluded by singing
| the hymns, There's a Dc Land that il
fairer than Day.'-Rochesscr Rost-Ex.
press.
Tire papers are telling Of q lawyer
who hcarI Macbeth" rchearscd, and
was struck by the answer Of the witches
when asked what they were doing: "a
deed without a name" ..Wny, thnt'l
void" exclaimed the lawyer. I'll
bust d deed without q name in IN,
court in Christendom."
'Supe. supe," yelled the gallery
gods, as q su-pcrnumerary appeared
between the acts and began jerking VI
the carpet. The super, an unusuall,
bright specimen. quickly replied
''Well, you do look hungry. Guess tn,
soup societies must be shut up" Tit
calls suddenly sabsided. -Psiladelp hst
Cal.
This pail 1 bought Of YOU last week.
said q customer to Deacon Gs.piz
'leaked like SIN the FIRST time | puI
water into it" ''You amt been put
ting water in that pail. have youp'
ter. II you'd KEEP. Il ,ur IN that pal
you wouldn't had any trouble. lMay
athOn Independent
A writer on the subject Of whale.
says: AS has a.ready been pointee
out, there are many points in the struc
tural organization OF the cetaeean Wis
cera far more like those of The ana ulaie.
than the carnivores." Why would no,
this b. a good subject f8r our Wintel
debating societicss--Ae,v York Com
nsefc.al Adrs,t:ser.
We often see in an illustrated jonrna
a sp.o,ch OF Hack and white callcd "A
S udy.n Ii is thus called uccause it 10
quires several days study TO deterniin,
whether the Top or the balto.n Of tn,
cut has go. uppermost, n the conclu
sion generally reached is that the arts
was wrestling with the delirium tire
mems when he drew the thing.-NoTris
torn Heya d.
-f.
A couple of pickpockets followed
gentleman for some blocks with a view
Of awaiting themselves OF the irst op
portunity to relieve him OF his purse
He suddenly turned into a lawyer
ONCE. What snnll we do now. aske'
one. wait for the lawyer" said "
other.
Putting the names OF the streets q
the street lamps is . good thing. Moon
light nights, if the lamps arc not ligh'
ed, by getting u Of the tram-cal
climbing the Iamp-post. and striking
match, you may read the nama OF tn
. street distinctly. If the wind doesn'
] b1nrr ont ram. match.
A negro girl at Marcus. in Jackso
county, Ga, has a curious delormit
in the way OF four feet On two extrerr
tiles, tie two feet on each leg intcrsec
ing OF crossing each other. Saocs q
most in the shape OF a cross are mad
for her fcs. She has twenty perfc'
49, - fu..r l,e,fcct 5onfa