The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1884-02-16
PITH AND POINT.

A LITTLE boy, proud OF his new
jacket, informed his sister that he was q
six-button kid.
BARRELS OF gin have taken to explod.
ing. There must be terrible scbnapps
when they go off.
GRocERs seldom establish themselves
on the seashore, probably from fear that
the sand may get in their weigh.
MASSACHUSETTS has more letters in Il
than Mississippi, but the latter ia the
longer word-a miss is as good as a
mile.
COUNT D'ORsAY, who possessed q
charming wit, in remarking on a beantv
speck on the cheek of Lady Southamp-
ton, compared it to gem on a rose
leaf. The compliment is far-fetcbed u
observed her Ladyship. How ca.
that be-" remarked the Count, when
1t is made on the spot"
HE proprietor of the Hotel Nnil
who Is skillful musician, asks: what
Is home with piano?" Well, Colonel.
from experience we would remark that
1t Is then place where the wicked cease
from drumming and the air takes a rest
DO we strike the right key?-Nelo York
Commercial Advertiser.
AT country house where was visit
ing few years since, stately major
domo, bearing the name of MacMahon.
relgned over the cellar "Are You o re-
lation of the Marshal's?" jokingly said
q friend who was with me. NO sir ~
was the grave reply; "the French Pres
ident is of our younger house; we are
the MacMahons of Clare" Tableaul =
London World.
FATHER, you are an awful brave man. n
said Detroit youth, as he smoothed
down the old mans gray locks. How
do you know that, Willie?" ooh, I
heard some men down at the store say
that you killed thousands of soldiers
during the war" Me? Why, L was
beef contractor for the armyl" yes,
that's what they said!" explained young
innocence, as he slid for the kitchen
Detroit Free Press
HER HUSBANDS APosTRopHE.
Oh, womanl in your hour of ease
Uncertain, coy and hard TO please,
Whene'er you 20 to buy bonnet
You're harder yet to please, doggone it.
LEAVING TOWN
He Strengthened his back, and wiped the sweat
From his brow 80 fiery red;
i would rather travel with Jumbo dear
Than travel with you, he said
she darted an angry glance and cried:
Why, Walter, you must be drunk
I'm sober enough" he said, to know
That Jumbo can pack his own trunk"
On the occasion of Sarah Bernhardt's
return to London the Times said she
looked worse and even thinner than
before" This reminds US of the Ger
man composer who was conducting one
of his overtures. As the horns PLAYED
too loud he told them repeatedly to
play softer; and softer they played each
time. At the fourth repetition, with
knowing wink at each other, they put
their instruments to their lips, but did
not blow at all. The conductor nodded
approvingly: very good, indeed.
Now one shade softer and you'll have
it."
THEY were sitting in the shadow of
the honeysuckles, through which the
sinking sun was peeping at them with a
face as red as if it had just emerged
from brick kiln. "And you will take
me to Europe on our wedding day, dar-
ling?" she said, toying fondly with one
of his suspender buttons that had
broken loose and fallen into her lap A
very serious look stole over his counte-
nance, and for some moments he was
silent. Finally he clicked back a rising
sigh, and said: No, deary; we will
stick to the dry land. ] never could
hold a basin under woman's chin for
ten days and love her afterward."
A YOUNG farmer who had been read
ing q book which stated that woman is
the Sunday of man." thought he would
compliment and please his wife by
shouting to her one morning: Daisy,
you are my Sunday" Daisy glared at
him as though she imagined he was
daft, and then quietly said: Dan, may
be your Sunday, but I'm not going to
give you any rest until you buy me a
bonnet that's fit to wear to church"
Dan now keeps his quotations to him
self, but was compelled to get the head
gear.-NelU York Commercial Aduer-
tiSer.
Gus DE SMITH was elected violently
from doctors office on Austin avenue.
Gus complained that he felt very much
debilitated. You should eat oat meal
for breakfast. 1 eat oat meal and feel
as stout as a iackass," said the doctor
1.-THE oat meal can't have anything to do
with your feeling like a jackass," re-
marked Gus. I'll kick you out of this
Office" roared the e1asperated doctor.
"If you do, doctor, I'll not kick back
I'll do like that other fellow who was
kicked by a jackass. I'll consider the
source" After that Gus stalked out.
The affair is much to be regretted, as
both parties are respectfully connected.
-TerGS SitfjtlgS