The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-05-02
WHOLE NO. 773.
Is, NO. A. DEER LODGE, MONTANA, MAY g. 1884,
WHY WE LAUGH.
Erastus Clone had an addition to his fam
lily the other day and called him Sy. .s ...

Erastus Clone had an addition to his fam
lily tie other day and called him Sy.
The small boy who hangs around the par
be punished for contempt Of court.-Ydle
Netos. e."
"The leek is the emblem Of the Welsh"
say the Detroit Free Press. The leak should
be the emblem Of our navy.-Graphic.
The mind cure Is very popular in Boston,
but in Washington there is . prejudice In
favor of sine. .cure.-Nep Yoik Commercial
Advertiser.
A camel will work for seven or eight days
without drinking. In this he differs from
some men who Will drink seven or eight
days without working.-Lo,oeu Courier.
An exchange sounds the warning that lit
tie boys who get drunk on beer at twelve
years Of age will have poor constitution for
whisky when they reach the age oftwenty.
Mitchell wants to box every good pugilist
in America.-Sporting Note. That is right;
box them In boxes about six feet long and
plant them seven feet deep.-Oa City Der
rick.
An Arkansas grand jury has indicted
Justice of the Peace for attempting to play
"
the country that the grand jury system Is not
an entire failure.
When q young lady encourages q fellow
for two or three years and then suddenly
turns around and tells him she can never be
more than q sister TO him, he can for the first
time see freckles on her nose.
"No more high-toned drama for me-"
growled . manager who had sunk money in
endeavoring to elevate the drama, "historical
plays can't hold candle TO the hysterical
pieces now adays."- Boston Courier.
CDR. Mary Walker was demonstrated with
for wearing trousers" says . Washington
paper, "when she replied Indignantly that
she would wear them or nothing" We hope
she will stick to the pants.-Bradford Sun
day Mail.
Graham and Osman Digma poor follower
Of the Prophet ran from the field because
somebody told him that the bagpipe was the
music of the future.-Ne,o York Commercial
Advertiser.
"What sort of place is that, pa ?" asked
little boy of his male parent while they were
out walking. "That's beer garden" "I
didn't know beer grew in gardens" "There
is great deal of it raised in gardens, my
son. n."-Te1ds Siftings.
"Thats the trouble in this part of the
country" remarked q Texas editor, as bull
let crashed through the window and took
piece OF his ear of. "You make paper in
teresting and newsy, and you have got TO
dodge around to keep it up"
Speaking on the land question in Dublin
| lately, an orator exclaimed, "The country Is
| overrun by absentee landlordsm ard after q
| magnificent peroi alton he said 81 tell you,
| the cup of old Irelsnd's misery 10 overfowing
-ay, and it's not full yet !"-Boston GLOBE.
"Saud or Rock-WhchP" was the title of
ss9sffgyt pSfsEfan dthiSSt fiatSt Gwgs
| impression after buying 10 pounds OF sugar
| for Is cents. The more sand he uses the
more rocks he accumulates.-Netc York
Graphic.
| A racy story is told of an old lady who re-
fused to be comforted by her PASTORS assur.
ance that when he left she would have q bet
| ter pastor As his successor. "Na, ma" she
said, 81 have seen fourteen changes In the
ministers since attended the kirk, and every
ane has been waur than anither."
Again is the story going around that there
Is i'm Clay county, North Carolina, an old
man of the name of Alexander GumbletOn
Ruffieton Scufileton Oberda Whittleton
Seuthenhall BENJAMIN Franklin Squires.
It is time to roll that name and store up In
camphor for the summer.-Cincinndh Ga
zette.
A New York man advertises "a safe, quick
and reliable corn.remover, without the ap'
plication of knife or caustics; no pain ex-
perienced. Price only ST." A young mar
who never walks out without wishing he
could leave his feet at home, forwarded ST.
and two days afterwards received by express
live crow.-Norristo,c Herald.
We frequently see in an illustrated journal
a splotch of black and white called ga
Study" 1t Is thus called because 1t requires
several days study to determine whether the
top or the bottom of the cut has got upper
most and the conclusion generally reached
Is that the artist was wrestling with the de-
lirium tremens when he drew the thing
En-.
According to the Pittsburg Chronicle Tel
eqrdph Greeley wasn't the first person who
talked up the Western country, for didn'
Ruth say to Naomi: "Whither thou go-wesi
l will gov' Yes, base punster, the youni
lady did say something to that effect, but II
will probably be remembered that she also
remarked: Sand there will be buried. '
Then, as now, the West was great place tc
start q graveyard.-Oa City Blizzard.
Said Mr.. Tilden to Mr.. Hendricks: "How
are you, Thomas ?" Then said Mr.. Hendrick.
to Mr.. Tilden: Chow are you, Governor p
Then Mr.. Tilden: "Thomas, have thu
peaches all been killed in Indiana thil
spring ?" Then Mr.. Hendricks: "Well, they
do say some of the peach buds have beer
nipped, but W are going to have dead load!
Of apples" "Thomas," said Mr.. Tilden, 90
am truly glad 20 hear you say So" go, moi
at all /; Fun greatly obleeged to you, Cover
nor" replied Mr.. Hendricks. And thus thu
conversation went en-. Nothing whatever
was said about who's going to be elected
this fall on tariff only for revenue.