Smyrna times., 1884-01-16
How They Get Married.

How They Get Married.
Preachers tell some good stories Of
their experiences, and many Of them
to matters Of matrimonial
character. Half Of the beauty is lost
in the telling, and the only good way
to enjoy them is to imagine with all
your might " the situations. \ L"dger
reporter has been among the preachers.
"In one Of the western counties Of
Maryland" said minister. whose
charge is in juxtaposition to Easton.
Il had one Of the most amusing cx-
periences Of my life. | was a conspicu-
Gus actor in matrimonial farce, and
even had to appear before tie curtain
The solemnity ofthe marriage ceremony
was destroyed by the ludicrous situa-
ton and surroundings. The loving
swain was a brawny six-footer from
the mountains, who insisted on having
the knot tied in the church-in good
style. ! accordingly had the church
opened, and taking my position within
the chanccl rail, awaited the arrival of
the candidates Pretty soon the doors
swung back, the couple entered, aud
without the slightest embarrassment,
marched up the aisle. | am not much
given to the feminine fancy Of cXarning
costumes, nor Of affecting concern over
what so and so wore at such and
such time. but the dress of the groom
struck me as being peculiarly interest
ing. His hat was of the sugar-loaf pat
tern, with the usual kink in the side,
and this he manifested no disposition
te remove from his rufIlcd locks until
insisted that it could not be worn dur
ing the ceremony; his suit, Of the time
honored jeans, originally, in its present
state Of piecng blended all the colors
Of Joseph's coat, but yet rendered more
interesting to the votarics of fashion
and fancy by the very prominent fact
that it was all hand-wOrk his linen
was not linen, but flannel, and his col
lar was missing; his hands were COW
cred with drab yarn mittins, picced
out at the gauntlets with red flannel,
and one hand tcnaciously grippcd a
well-worn carpet bag, evidently re-
lated to the one on which the elephant
trod, while with the other he led his
bride along at dog trot. | was too
much occupied with the mans make.
up to observe minutcly the woman's
but your Imagination can fill in when
tell you that the two wardrObcs match
ed splendidly. | managed to perform
the ceremony after many amusing
blunders and Interruptions. The stur
dy groom imediately salutcd the bride
with a loud smacking kiss, and gcncr
ously requested me to administer {
like inniction. | demurred, and he
mistOok my hesitation for mOdesty
and in consideration for my bashful
ness, would not insist.
d" Mister said the newley-clectct
Benedict, | want to pay you for this.
Ministers, like all ordinary NOR
tails, are somewhat susceptible to tht
touch of filthy lucre, and | made M
signs Of disapproval to the latter sug
gestion. lie fumbled in his pocket
and brought forth tattered one dol
lar bill, with the gracious and crafty
ing request:
80 Gin me fifty cents change
" And then Now mister, me an,
Sary Ann wants our picsturs took
Kin you take us to the picstur man
"There was no help for it-I had t.
march through the streets of the tow
with this quaint couple, who lost n
opportunity for cooling and billing
while my friends of the town wicked,
stared and Uttered. 1t was an cd,
procession.
4" At the photograph gallery we ha,
fun. My friend of the mountains in
sisted on having his way in posing 70
the picstur's' and would listen to IL
advice or suggestion of the photogra
I pher. So the pictures were taken
five tinplates-with Sary Ann sittin
on Jakey's knee, with just his eyes an
4 his sugar-loaf hat-which he stoutl
refused to discard-peeping above tn
outspreading bonnet of his wife.
"They gazed admiringly ON the pi,
10 lures for some time, and then assorte
them over to be sent to their kin
There was one left, and Jakey yer
condescendingly gave it me, with th
= remark that it would do to remembC
a. the whole thing by
= az amt much for style, but me an
at Sary Anne are out fur good time
u, and they we're gone.
Il / have that picture now among
<. valued collection, and never see til
n sugar-loaf hat looming above the emo
iis nous poke bonnet, without smilin,
:, Yes, l have had many funny expe
= fences, but none so totally ridiculous
aspects as this affair of Jakey and Sar
!. AIMS. ."-E Easton Ledger.