News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1884-06-19
WHAT Is IN A NAME.
THE BOY STUBS Is A LITTLE PUT
OUT OVER HIS COGNOMENs
And Sets forth I'm the Complaint that the
Boys Call him Stubsy-The Moral of lie.


| From Peck's SUM-
A boy who is attending school in a
country town, writes to the San to tell
about his troubles, and asks for advice
as to the best way to bear up under the
trials and fluctuations that almost kill
him. He SAYS:
"My name is Melankton Stubbs, and
everybody makes fun of me on account
of the name. The boys call me nick
names, such as Stub-tOe, Stubbsy and
everything they can think of, and the
| girls laugh at me, and smoker, and they
won't go anywhere with me, the boys
bother them SO, and don't believe, if
ever get to be man, any girl would
ever marry me and change her name to
Stubbs. don't know what my folks
could have been thinking of to put that
name 'Melankton' on before Stubbs.
| They call me '1ank Stubbs, and [ wish
I was dead. Amt there any way of
getting such name changed to some
thing that sounds pQetical, like Mont
morency. or Stuyvesant? Please help
| boy out.
Well, ''Stubsy," come here, and hitch
up your galluses little, so both pants
| legs will come down to your ankles even.
of no headed pins. While the BOYS and
girls are having fun with you, you study
| like white head. and beat them all at
the examination, and when the teacher
| awards the prize to "Mr. Melankton
Stubbs," in the presence of the whole
school, and the visitors, you will think
the name sounds better than ever before.
The scholars will say, ''Bully for
Stubsy," and it won't hurt your feelings
at all, and when the visitors congratulate
you, you will feel as well as though your
name was Montmorency, and when some
old citizen says in the grocery, "That
boy of old Stubs, walked away with all
of the school," the name of Stubs will
sound good to you. Some day a
rltsI ott, and ask who he is, and a citizen
III the smartest boy in school," and the
70 give business chance. You will go
right up to the head i'll business, and the
fboys who now make fun OF you will wish
their names were Stubbs. If YOU attend
to your studies while the other boys are
maEing fun of you, the time will come
wlwed Ills will be yearning for young
Ss,.5gs: THhey will think there is music
i'll the name. If you go believing
around like calf, because they call you
Stubs, and hate yourself, you will never
amount to anything, and you might
better be Stubbs than Montmorencv.
A fool by the name of Montmorency is
more of a laughing stock than smart
boy named Stubs. Suppose your name
,OdS Montmorency, and you should be
lazy, good-for-nothing idiot, with no
intelligence, no nothing but name, and
they should call you "the Duke de Mont
morency," you would feel worse than to
be called ''Iank Stubbs." If you will
show that you are not sensitive about
your name, and call yourself "Lank
Stubsy," and appear to enjoy it, and go
about your business and learn for all
that is out, they will call you 'sMr.
Stubbs" when you become a man of
some prominence. It all comes of your
sensitiveness. The writer once stood at
a case in a printing office, and a new
printer came in and took a case beside
him, whose name was Van Dusen. The
new printer sized up the crowd that day.
and that night while the boys were
washing the dirt off their hands at the
sink, Van Dusen propounded his plat
form, which was as follows: ''The fell
low that calls me Doosenberry will get
head put on him." Nobody had thought
of calling him Doosenberry, and nobody
wanted to be whipped, but the name
DOosenberry got to running in the heads
of the boys, and the next morning the
writer was the first one to walk up to the
case and say to the new conner, Good
morning, DoOzenberry. 1t was an ac-
cident, caused by his constituencies, and
the writer saw in minute that he had
got his foot in it, and was to be whipped,
and he turned pale, and was scared, but
Van Dusen looked upon the remark, and
the pale, determined air as a challenge
to fight, and he weakened. Looking at
the pale, red-headed coward who had
called him fighting name by slip of
the tongue, and who had assumed an
attitude to be mauled, Van Dusen smiled
sickly smile and said, THAT is all
right for You, but if these other fellows
call me DOozenberry they will get
thumped." Then they all called him
Doozenberry, and he put on his coat
and walked out of the Office and never
showed up again. So you see, ''Stubsy."
that a fellows sensitiveness gets him
into all the trouble. 1t is an awful try
ing thing for boy about your age to
have peculiar name, but in after years
the name is of the least Importance.
When Sunset Cox was boy he would
have given his immortal soul if his par
ents had been named anything else. As
Congressman Cox" the name does not
worry him as much as it does smaller
men with more beautiful names. When
Senator Vest was boy the boys were
always telling him to pull down his
vest" and it worried him terribly, but
as a United States senator his vest is
all right. A great merchant or manu-
facturer by the name of Stubs has less
trouble about his name than g hod-car-
rier, by the name of Montmorency. No,
"Stubsy," don't worry any more about
the name, but laugh at the boys that
make fun of it, do them a kindness if
you get chance, and don't show that
yon care q continental what they call
you, and pretty soon they will unite in
the belief that "Stubsy" is a thorough
bred, and everything will be lovely for
you. But if you go moping around,
cursing your lot and making everybody
uncomfortable, you will never amount
to enough to count in the game of life.
There, "Stubsy," brace up and tackle
that multiplication table, and the first
girl that ignores you because your name
is Stubs, you make memorandum of
her name, and when you are business
man worth a million dollars, and she is
married to a whitewasher named Mont
morency, your wife can call on her and
leave her card with the legend, "Mrs
Melankton Stubs" engraved ON it, and
the whitewasher's wife will say, "Ah,
Mrs. Stubbs Why, I used to go to
school with Mr.. Stubs, and what fools we
girls used to be to snub him on account
of his name. My, how aristocratic that
name looks on gilt-edge card" and
then she will sigh, and think of old
times, till she sees Montmorency coming
up the alley with an empty whitewash
bucket and lame back, and she will fly
around to warm up some cold mush for
his supper for fear MontmOrency will
hit her in the neck with a whitewash
brush. Eth, "Stubsy ?"
Wonderful Business.
No other insurance company in the !
world has ever undertaken so vast a task |
II 4 Il