Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-04-30
A Plot Incubator.

position as demonstrator of anatomy
and started the Chuckle, humorous
weekly, his friends came around and
said that bright future awaited him.
This was partly fact, for if he had
any bright future at all it was await
ing him. One day, while the learned
humorist was bowed down with the
cares of wit, much worn man enter
ed the room and cleared his throat to
attract attention. The professor look
ed up, turned his chair and said
"Well, what can l do for your"
The gentleman seated himself and
replied: Information having reach
ed me that you had started humor-
Gus and literary paper, am here to
see if you do not care for plot incu-
bator."
"a plot incubator" exclaimed the
professor, in surprise. 81 never heard
of such thing"
"Oh, probably not, for you are
young in the business. I'll explain.
A plot incubator is man who matches
out plots and humorous ideas. He
can not arise to the dignity of litera-
ture for he has not the art Of descrip-
ton. All of the humorists have a
plot hatcher, for it is impossible for a
man to do the Matching and writing
with any degree of success. For in
stance, you employ me. / sit here,
quiet as a flower pot. You turn to me
and say: Captain, a plot for story.
/ nod in compliance and say: Dark
night. Man with lantern, following
hack. Woman inside hack shrieks.
Man rushes forward. Shoots villain.
Woman saved Now, there's a plot
for two or three column story. The
idea being furnished you, all you then
have to do is to write up the facts.
Suppose you want to write para
graph, you turn and say: Captain,
idea for five liner | nod and say
Mule You then have the idea, and
you construct a paragraph that will
cause people to wonder how you ever
caught the idea. You turn again and
say; Captain, idea for an item l
nod and say: Pie You write it
up and convulse the world with laugh
ter. When you want a humorous
sketch, you call for it, and I say /;
Young man going to see young lady ;
small boy comes into the room; wants
candy from young man; got none /;
boy going to tell the other fellow that
comes to see his sister and gives him
candy; young lady bushes; young
man finds out he has a rival Then
you see, you write up the affair and
tickle the community and watch the
exchanges copy it, crediting it to Prof.
Hogginson, in the Chuckle."
"This is entirely new to me. Have
all the humorists plot hatchers?"
"All the best. l used to be with
Mark Twain. | hatched the plot for
his Jumping Frog and many of his
best things, but had to leave him.
He worked me nearly to death"
81 didn't know that he was so in
dustrious."
"what, work an ordinary man to
death? Used to get me up all times
of night. Many and many cold
night has he come to the bed, pinched
me and said: Captain, plot for
Mississippi river story"
"Well, this is indeed wonderful, but
just now l haven't the money to en-
ploy even SO necessary an adjunct. l
am a thousand times obliged, though,
for the information you have impart-
ed, and / assure you that I'll profit by
the lessen"
"Thank you. / am now, during
dull seasons, employed in selling lit
tie article of hearth paint. I'll just
show you-"
"Get out of here, you Internal
scoundrel."
OF course the man left. The Col
onel, Judging from his paper, is doing
all the work.-Arkansaw Traveller.