davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
FOREVER.
JOHN BOYLE o'REILLy.

Those we love truly never die.
Though year by year the sad memorial
wreath,
ring and flowers, types Of life and death.
Are laid upon their graves.
For death the pure life saves
And life all pure IL love, and love can reach
From Heaven to earth, and nobler lessons
teach,
Than those by mortals read.
Well blest Is he who has dear one dead:
friend he has whose face will neyer
change,
dear communion that will not grow
strange
The anchor Of love % death.
The blessed sweetness of loving breath
VIII reach our check all fresh through
weary years;
For her who died not long since, ah. waste
not tears,
She's thine unto the end.
Thank God for one dead friend,
with lface still radiant with the light of
truth,
whose love comes laden with the scent OF
youth.
Through twenty years Of death.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A Naughty Girl's Party.
San francisco Argonant.

j don't think you ever heard about the
luncheon which Phyllida gave to bei
girl friends just before last Easter, and
while the Lenten 81 ,ckles still bound the
faithful to their fast. Phylida is always
wanting TO do something desperately
naughty. / remember when she was
yet a schoolgirl, how she told .and OF
classmates, who were listening in admir-
ing horror, that "a husband had got to he
wicked to be nice"
For some time Phyllida had been
promising her friends mysterious lark,
at which Something just perfectly dread
full" was to take place.
At last there came day when Phyl-
lida's mamma was going to Oakland 10
srend the night and next dav. Nine
little notes went out on their mission
forthwith.
1t chanced that mamma returned to
the city several hours sooner than she
had at first intended. AS she opened the
front door, peal of silvery laughter
broke upon her ear. II seemed to come
from the diningroom. Slightly as.
tonished, she fastened in that direction
and hastily opened the door.
Sensation.
Ten natty little pair of boots fell from
the table to the floor. Ten chairs resum.
ed their perpendicular. And ten wicked.
wicked little hands vainly tried to hide
as many cigarettes beneath the table or
in capacious dress folds.
"Phylidap said mamma with deadly
calm.
"Yes'm," answered the daughter meek.
ly.
will YOU please come up-stairs?"
"Yes'm"
The ringleader Of this gang OF maleSae-
tors disappeared. The others fled, base
ly leaving their leader TO her awfn. fate.
1t was not chivalric, but it as girly.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A COLONY OF GRASS wIBOWS.
The Newport Tree on which Mismated Ma
| irons have Perched for Refuge.

The colony of unhappy wives at New
port is shocked, outraged, chagrined and
dislnayed. | wrote some time ago about
the large number of women, including
Mrs. Oliver ii. p. Belmount and Mrs.
Henry Turnbull, who have been residing
in Newport for the past two years intend
ing at the completion Of their third year
to take out divorce from their husbands
under the Rhode Island laws. 1t has
been the law, ever since law has existed
in Rhode Island, to grant a divorce to
any weman who has lived away from
her husband three years in that State
There has been no end of family cendals
among the weather people of the city
the past two years. The clubs have been
kept gossiping about them continually
Not few of them have been solved by
retirement of the wives to Newport,
where they have taken up residences
organized little set which cannot be
equaled, as far as family history is con-
cerned. IN any portion of the Union.
Here the grass widows have lived all the
year round, their ranks being constantly
added to by unhappy wives from New
York. As the time advanced the colony
increased, until at present it numbers
nearly two score of ladies, the majority
of whose social connections are of The
highest possible sort and who are main
ly attractive and handsome women.
Adniiitance into this circle is difficult
of attainment by a man. 1t is an ex-
tremely exclusive set. Clergymen are
eagerly welcomed, and the officers of the
naval station ofWest Point have also the
entree into the colony of unfortunate
wives. 1t is said that a jollier, happier
and more amusing lot of entertainers can
not be found than those who form this
set at Newport. BY September next a
majority Of the women would have come
forward freed from the shackIes OF mat
rimony. Such however, is not to be
their fate, as the laws of the State, have
Just been amended so that the three
year residence clause is dead letter.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
WHERE HASH Is HANDLED.
Many man who is quartered in
clearinghouse feels badly cut up.--Bos-
ton Times.

Many man who is quartered in a
clearinghouse feels badly cut up--Bos.
ton Times.
Love, it is said, destroys the appetite
Strange that clearinghouse keepers
can't contrive to get more of their board
ers TO fall in love with each other Bur
lington Free Press.
The Delaware peach crop is now ap-
parently safe, and prices will be low
enough to enable boarding-houses to
serve dried peach pie once week dur
ing the next Winter.-Boston Star.
Many an impecunious poet who has
slept all Winter on hard mattress in a
cheap boarding house now signs in verse
for Spring bed of flowers doubtless
meaning Washington Hatchet.
Speaking of gluttony. a medical writer
quotes the old saying that many people
dig their graves with their teeth.' The
people at our boarding house are conf.
dent that theirs will be dug in the GUS
tomary old-fashioned ay.-Lowell Cih-
zen.
The pine tree serves as refuge for more
than four hundred species of insects, and
man in a boarding-house downtown
informs us that he is willing to bet his
bedstead is made entirely out of pine
and the mattress stuffed with pine shay
inls.-Mercbant Traveller.
In samples of coffee. presented to a
Brooklyn chemist two poisons were
found. A clearinghouse mistress re-
qucsted us to cali particular attention to
this fact, and we have done so, even
though it may be a scheme of hers to
make ber boarders drink water.-Balti-
more Day.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
HUSBANDS AND HELPMEETS.

The reason why the period after mar
riage is called the honeymoon is because
each knows one of them has TO be the
boss being, and each is trying to dscov-
er which being it is.-Lowell Courier.
A new article in feminine headecar is
called the frog bonnet" The husband
is supposed tojump when he learns the
size of the greenoack ittakes to purchase
one.-Norristow Herald.
An Ohio woman has just patented a
fire-escape. But, then, that's nothing.
It's mighty poor woman that can't in
vent some excuse to compel her husband
to get up in the morning and build the
fire.-Yonkers Statesman.
When a woman calls her husband "a
dear old boy" it seems to sound affec.
tionate. But Just let him call her "a
dear old girl" and rev is precipitated
Immediately. Custom makes the En-
glish language very contradictory
Philadelphia Call.
A New York man who was married in
the morning was maniac before night.
This is an exceptional case. II is sell
dom the effect follows so directly "pon
the cause, insanity usually holoIn. off
until the first house-cleaning, u. least -
Lowell Citizen.
A man who has been married ten
years boasts that not one unpleasant
word has passed between himself and
wife bit, as they have nice collection
of cherubs, they have undoubtedly en-
countered several squalls on the sea of
matrimony. Times.
Husband-No, my wife doesn't sport
many jewels, but there is one kind of
gems of which she has full supply.
Friend--What is that?
Husband - Stratagcms. - Burlington
Free Press.
Before his marriage Mr.. Brown was
mostly wont to praise the aristocratic
manner in which his wife banged" her
hair, but now, since he has become q
happy benedict, the burden of his COM
plaint is the cruel and unfeeling man
ner with which she habitually bangs his
hair.--Chicago sun.
They were newly married and were
hunting home in which to commence
housekeeping. She had found a place
that suited her, but he objected to it.
Finally, after much persuasion. she man.
aged 10 drag from him that it was be-
cause there was no back way for him TO
slip out of when he wanted to get away
without protests from or explanations to
her.-Yonkes Gazette.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A WISE DARkEl.
why he WonIdbr Purchase Watch
from his Friend.


Atlanta Constitution.
At the passenger depot the other day
a well-dressed negro approached Uncle
Plato and offered TO sell him a watch.
1t appeared to be a very good watch, but
the old gentleman looked at it suspi-
ciously.
"Youk'n take her fer S." said the dar-
key.
"Wa't Igwine do wild watch?" asked
Uncle Plato.
Wear her 'roun.' Gimme de money
an take her 'loLg"
"W'at den?"
Den she's your'n.'
"Who sesso?"
II say So"
80 you does, so you does but wat |
gwine do wen de man come long after
de watch? Wat gwine tell 'iml Isay
halter do mo- talkin fer ten keep dat
watch dan wat you done fer ter get i'm
Don't you come VIOLIN yo' eyeballs at
me-" exclaimed Uncle Plato in a loud
and angry tone; don't yer do it. Idone
bin KNOWN rifges long fo' you 'uz
borned. Wen | buys watches, I'm
gwine whar dey makes um at. You
keep dat watch Wen man slips mp an
slaps you in de chain-gang. you'll need
il fer tell you wat time er day is it wen
de sun git so hot. You put dat watch in
yC pocket, an g'long whar YOU gwine"
The negro protLcnaded.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
TIE FAST YOUNG FINANCIERS.
Parson Ncwman's Pointed Arraig gnment of
Pc lular Class.


Parson Newman preached recently
about young Ward, whom he visited at
Ludlow street Jail. The parson punched
Ward and two other slippery young fin
anciers whom he seemed to have known
pretty well. The parson refused to give
names, but his description of Ward tai
lied so with that given by Gen. Grant that
all the congregation recognized it at once.
The parson pat his observations on pape
this time, departing from his usual Gus.
tom of talking away without any notes
at all. lie read:
"Three panics have been caused by
three young men, two Of whom were less
than thirty years Of age. Each was the
son of a minister, who had forgotten tho
God OF his father. One was a banker
one q broker, and one confidential
clerk Two died homeless and penniless
in selfexile, and one is now in jail. Two
died in misery, and the fate of the third
is yet TO come. Each had a genius for
finance. = AT the age of twenty-five, one
of these smart young men was the presi-
dent ofa bank. He was financial prod
ICY, and the bank was a success. His
personal speculations brought him large
returns. The venerable directors en-
courdg,d him in kis career. He was es-
teemed wonder in the financial world,
but his aged father. retired clergyman,
trembled for the future of his son. When
the young banker had accumulated $500
900, the father begged him TO be content
and stop, but the son vas sure that he
could make million. Temptations null
tiplied, honesty was suspended, the gold
en- bubble burst, detection followed, and
then adversely came, he fed from home,
friends, and country, and died penniless
in strange land. His life story, with
few circumstantial variations, is the story
of the life of the confidential clerk. The
final story of the one in Jail is vet to
be told.
"Let lis beware of these financial prod
igies, these smart young men. Their i'm
aginations are their master faculties.
Listen to their glib, persuasive tongue,
the false seems true and the fcti ious real.
To them, the money market is multipli
cation table fully at their command.
They are petted, courted, feasted. and
trusted, and the oldest fnanciers confide
their fortunes to them. They handle
millions and their methods are not
questioned. Why? Their dividends
are facts. Therefore, ask no questions
for conscience sakel Bvt they become
audaeious with success, these STUART young !
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
SNAKE HILL.
why the Soldiers of Different Armies Ming
led In Harmony.
Arl M rr,rut.. .lx,..

| boO III harmony.
Arkasaw Traveller.
| In 1868, when the rear of fMarmaduke's
army was fitting through southern Mis-
souri, like the agitated cracker of whip,
Colonel r. c. Newtons regiment consti-
tuted the rear guard. One night New
tons command reached hill which
gradually arose from a ection of damp
bottom land. Shortly after the men
went into b'vouac, the cry of "rattle-
snake, look out for rattle-snakep arose.
The hill had been selected as a den by
rattle-snakes, and the whole face of the
earth seemed to be alive with reptiles.
The ground was actually kissing with
them, and from every log turned over by
the soldiers, there writhed out a serpent
mass. Colonel Newton soon discovered
that it would be impossible for his men
to camp in the neighborhood, and with
three enormous rattle snakes tied togeth-
er like sections of ropes, he sent his COM
pliments to General Marruaduke, explain
ing the snaky situation. The command
was at once ordered to move, not, how
ever, until one company alone had kill
ed one hundre | and seventy-two snakes.
The confederate forces were closely fol-
lowed by Van !erver's Iowa cavalry.
When these men reached the hill which
Newton't men had been compelled to
evacuate, they decided to go into bivouac.
A few moments later the cry of rattle
snake" arose. "Thc devilish things" as
an eye witness expressed it, seemed to
pour out of the ground" 1t was soon
discovered that human being could not
live on The knoll, and regardless of the
fact that the enemy occupied the bottoms
Just below, a forward movement was or
dered. the advance guard had not pro-
ceeded far when native of the neigh.
borhood was met.
What do you call that neighborhood
back here?" asked an officer
Amt never heard no name fur it,"
II didn't know but il was called Snake
Hill"
"Wal," replied the native, 81 reckin
there air a few snakes up thar endurn'
the right time o. year, but it's too early
now fur many o. them to be OUT
When the advance guard of the feder-
al forces overlook the rear guard of the
confederates no fighting occurred. There
existed between them bond of sympathy
which the angry dogs of war could not
gnaw in two. Humanity, whether there
be peace or war, turns from personal
grievances unto the innate, Adam ami
mostly TO the snake
Couldn't stay up there, eh?" yelled
the confederates.
NO" replied the federals, "they were
too thick for u.s."
They agreed to camp together, and
during the social night, when "reb' and
"yank' sa. around the same fire, the
great bloody war was forgotten. Each
man-true human nature-told lies of
the number and sizes of the snakes he
had killed. This was the first true
evidence of coming peace. 1t proved to
men who never before had seen each
other tat there existed great enemy
of mankind against which they should
all be united
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
CHArF.

A Cincinnati physician being inter.
viewed says that nearly all physicians are
poor men. Perhaps so. Some of them
are awfully poor doctors Burlington
Hawkeye.
No girl in Norway is allowed to have a
beau until she can bake bread. Over
there when fellow gets married he don't
often find that his cake is dough.-The
Hooeier.
The season il here when the Young
man has his hair cropped tight, and Il
you don't notice il in any way or pass
your hand over his head you breal his
hcart-Phila. Call.
A Cincinnati girl was arrested for set
ting fire to house. Although this is
leap year, the girl who takes that meth.
cd OF catching fame is carrying things
too far.-Boston Budget.
"What do you consider the most at
tractive phases of country lifeY" asked
one Bostonian of another "The faces of
the country girls" was the quick reply.
Burlington Free Press.
II wouldn't be in your shoes for good
deal" said one high school girl to anoth-
er. II wouldn't have you in them eth
err" was the tart reply; you'd stretch m
all out ofshape!"-Burlingtcn Free Press.
A flaming meteor fell in London the
other day. Those who saw il come down
were terribly frightened as they imagin-
ed that 1t was girl with red petticoat
tumbling from third story window
Baltimore Telegram.
"Ma. aie all the Presidential candidates
musicians" asked Tommy. Not that
know Of" replied his maher, "why do
you ask?" "Oh, because | heerd pa saw
all bad organs" was the response. -Bos-
ton Times.
Music festivals are very popular about
this season of the year. They should be
encouraged If for nothing else than to
make the huckster who yells "strawber-
res" in cracked voice feel ashamed of
himself-Chicago Sun.
6pecklei Moon, the Pawnee chief, who
has seventeen wives, ought 10 be able to
raise heirs enough to keep his wigwam
without resort to the bsrber-us habits
of'going for" the scalp locks Of the "pale
hce."-Gouverneur Herald.
n sn = 1.s1 h sympsthy with ma
- Med : hueeh Fl
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
Profession Didn't Save Him.
N. Y. sun


A stout man, wearing glossy broad.
cloth coat that looked as if it had been
on three months spree was brought
to Jefferson Market yesterday and accus-
ed ofhaving been drunk in the street.
"My name is John Ireland" he aid
with musical brogue to Justice German,
"and I'm consellor at law. That pre-.
sumo, is enough TO guarantee my dis.
charge"
"Where have you practicedo" asked
the Justice.
'Ive been at the bar in Sligo, county
Down, Maynooth, Armagh, Londonderry,
and a hundred other places"
"And several bars in New York" the
Justice interrupted, "and will give you
chance to practice on Blackwelfs Is
land for thirty days"
"Ie're bigger bum nor / am" said
the prisoner angrily as Re was led
away
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A High old Wint'.

One tellcw Was from Wilcox and the
other resided in this county. The Will
cox man said:
After our big cyclone, year or two
ago: large number of birds and chicks
ems were found from which every feather
had been stripped by the terrible wind,
In fact they were peeled as slick as an
onion, but the fowls were still alive and
kicking"
"Oh, that's nothing" exclaimed the
Pulaski man. "One Of my neighbors
had his well blown 20 crooked by the
same cyclone that he has not been able
tn get a bucket down into it since, and
was conpelledto to dig another we'll"
Al this point the meeting adjourned 10
the nearest aalcop.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A FAMOUS YOUNG FARMER.
or Young Burnett and His "Deerfoot'
Farm just Out from Boston "a Isit.
Washington Capital.

Washington Capital.
Some years ago wealthy manufactur-
er of Boston had tall and handsome
son, who had disposition to strike out
for himself in new direction. The Bos-
ton man provided him with money sui.
ticient to buy for himselfa farm in the
town of Southboro, Worcester county
and the young fellow went to work to
see what a young farmer in Massachu-
sets could do. The results have been
somewhat marvellous. Success in the
fullest sense of the term has come to tins
young Harvard graduate and agricultur-
list. His name is Edward Burnett, ard
he is the son of the cocaine manufacture
er, who used to advertise so largely. He
is to be found in B stou at midday and
often lunches with a jolly set. He is
vigorous and hardy, and enjoys life at
great rate. His reputation as an expert
judge of fancy cattle is so high that he
is often sought by wealthy cattle fancers
in other States 20 go to Europe and select
their herds for them. He has made sew
eral trips of this sort. Every pint of
milk, every sucking pig and every vege-
table produced on the flrm has fancy
value and he gets his own price for them
all.
Burnetts wife is the only daughter of
James Russell Lowell. She is demure
little lady and bears slight resemblance
in looks to her distinguished father
Though very quiet, she is a woman of
high spirit and is said to ride to hounds
exceedingly well. Indeed, she is noted
as one of the best horsewomen in New
England. Last summer she went across
the ocean alone, in order to spend few
weeks with her father, and returned as
she went. Why does not some novelist
OF the period put into his book such
pair of bright and healthful young Amer.
lean lives as these?
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A CONSOLATION.

A certain man, TO dissipatc
The heat and other cares.
Essayed to draw some cider kept
Beneath his cellar stairs.
Before he started down his wife
To hi,n pitcher handed
But tripping up he tumbled down,
And af the bottom landed.
my dear, the pitcher did You break?"
Came down stairs sharp and shrill;
Then crushing down his wrath he cried
Mott, but will.
The pitcher which indeed escaped
Uninjured by the fall.
He hurled with all his strength and smashed
Against the cellar wall.
Harvard Lampoon.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A Relic Of By-Gone Days,
Texas Siftings,

The obsequiousness of the Southern
darkey to his former master has not fad.
ed out entirely in some of the old fam.
lilies. A few mornings ago an Austin
lady said to an old family servant:
"Do you know that dreamed about
you last night, Aunt Sukey?"
NO, Miss Carline; you don't tell INC
dat you dreamed about me las nigat"
Eyes, did"
Yer shouldn't hab done das ar, Miss
Carline. Hit was my bixness ter dream
sbout you, ct daF was any dreamin' ter
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
A Prayer for the FederaIs.
Arkansaw Traveller

Just before famous battle, confed-
crate soldier discovered on old man
kneeling by log praying.
"Oh, Lord" said the old man, "have
mercy on the federals this day"
"Get UP from there" exclaimed the
soldiers. Got no better sense than to
come around here praying for the d-d
Yankees?"
The old man looked up and requested
to be let alone. The soldier demanded
that the prayer should be discontinued.
Just then an officer called the soldier
and said:
"Why in the thunder don't you let
that man alone. Don't you know him'"
mo, who is he?"
"Stonewau Jackson"
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28

Who bites of more than he can chaw, ;
Needs the care Of q mothsr.iu.lsw.
-Gouverusus Hsrald.
The Osceola times., 1884-06-28
AMONG THE DUNKARDs
Their Love Feast and Method of Celebrat-
ing the Lords supper.
Washington Star

Washington Star.
The church was divided down the CEN
tire by long table, this table was divid-
ed in the centre to allow passage between.
AT one end the men sat on benches rang
ed along the table. The other end or
di, ision of the table was in like manner
occupied by the women. A strip Of
plank with pegs in it was over the mems
table, and was hung full oftheir immense
hats. A staircase in one corner went up
into the lott above, where all the ngre.
cation who had to come any distance
sleep on the floor and in hunks.
They brag their bedding with them.
and, a they 10 not insist upon the sspa.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

Mt. sterling, ny, Dec. t.. ON Tues
dav Floyd lolivcr, druggist. of Far
man. ky., was killed at Moorch"ad in
d difficulty with John Martin
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

LEI n, have a rest ia lIe NHt pt
great national and inleruu.wI expo
stiOus. As matters stand now the
thing has mounted into the region,
of the rllicuIons.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

Nj sterling, Ky Dec. f. ~heFli
Day ha, arrested seven men charged
with being members OF the band "l
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

\ mauGuliccnt assortment oi dia-
mund~ at Ea4lHud-
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

tut,rtd ut tur lt-IDH.,r 90 Waco. I.N.. H.
h,,uuj.,..-- i...I fn,r
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

Hjouo,a coffee il, the best
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

NE. CLENuLNNp'~ sisters d.uN that
they have any intention eft interfering
in any way with th" domestic alrir-
ol the white house during ihGr
brothers. administration Wis"
women truly. are they.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05
H.,uo-p,o0oc. uniform and reliable

save D.. prrccut buying rlo4k- his
.,e,A.:u sanger Bros.
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

IaJjr- sill, wraps reduced 70, sanger
Bros.
Eouo-a rpAer in pound Vachagr-
The Waco daily examiner. [volume] (Waco, Tex.) 187?-1888, 1884-12-05

E.ooo-a eonrc. absolutely pure.