davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-06-05

SPIcY.-There was knot of sea-captains
in store at Honolulu, the keeper of which
had just bought a barrel of black pepper:
Old Captain -, of Salem, came in, and
seeing the pepper, took up a handful of it;
"What did you buy such stuff as that
for ?" said he to the storekeeper !; it's half
peas"
"Peas n' replied the storekeeper; there
isn't a pea in it."
Taking up a handful as he spoke, he ap-
pealed to the company. They all looked at
it, and plunged their hands into the barrel,
and bit a kernel or so, and gave it as their
universal opinion that there wasn't pea
in it.
"I tell you there is," said the old captain,
again scooping up a handful ; "and I'll bet
a dollar on it,"
The old Boston argument all over the
world. They took him up.
"Well spell that" said he, pointing to the
word "P-e.p-p-er" painted on heside of the
barrel "If it isn't half p's, then Pm no
judge, that's ALL"
The bet was paid.-Honolulu Paper.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-06-05
BILL HEADS

Monthly statements at same price ofsixth-sheet
Dill heads. We will fill an order for bill heads,
giving any desired number ofeither size of sheet
at proportionate prices.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-06-05
JOB PRINTING.

OWING to our superior facilities with the best
Y J machine presses an abundance of type and
first-class appointments throughout our office,
we are prepared to execute all manner Of JOB
PRINTING in superior style, and at prices that
will compare with New York or Philadelphia
charges for the same quality Of work and mate
rials. We have recently made reduction in
prices for the following classes ofwork, to which
we invite the attention of business men:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-06-05

NOTHING IN THE PAPER.-"N Nothing in
the paper to-dayw What's that? Nothing
in the paper? Nothing, particularly inter
est the next and dozen others, l dare say.
''But could do better myself?" Beg par
don, but hardly think a trial would verify
your assertion. You remind me of the old
lady who called on her pastor, and found
fault because his sermons were not interest
ing, saying that she could do better, and
would prove it if he would furnish text.
This he proceeded to do by giving out the
following: "It is better to dwell in a corner
of the house-top, than with brawling wo-
sir ?" sharply asked the old lady. "Oh, my
good woman,' replied the parson, "you
will never make good sermonizer. You
are too quick in your applications"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-06-05

SHE HAD THE LAST WoRD.-Old Mr..
Squaggs was somewhat irritable when ne
came down to breakfast, and when his wife
reproved him for neglecting to tie up the
dog before going to bed the previous night,
he answered her rather snappiShly. Then
they had some words, and she said:
"Well, Pm sure I don't know how you
expect We'll agree. in the next world if we
can't agree in thiSone."
''Oh, We'll agree well aaeugK in the next
world" said NJ Ssaaggs, ,sarcastically; 1--WE
won't see musn of each other there. The
Bible says there's a great gulf fixed be-
tween the two places"
Having said this the old gentleman Ca
ressed his bald head and snickered to HIM
self.
Mrs. Squaggs was thoughtful for mo-
ment, then with a twinkle in her eye, she
said:
"This is the first I knowd of your havin'
given up all hopes of going to heaven"
The conversation dropped.-.SonaerriNe
Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-06-05

How TO SECURE That
man will hereafter be a good customer OF
mine," said the saloon keeper as business
looking man went out of the saloon as if he
had pressing engagement.
"Who is he?'
"I don't know. Never saw him before" !"
"What maRs you think he will ever ever
LIB because sci Vgave hip~spadgged half dol
lar in chan9e. LQhe first time he tries to
pass it, it EiRbe rejected. Then he will
come back here to exchange it for better
one. I'll beg his pardon, say something
about getting stuck with them once in a
while when there's rush of business, ask
him to take drink, chat with him while
he crooks his elbow, tell him funny story,
and he'll 60 away thinking am an aWfully
nice fellow. After that he will never 60 by
without coming in. I've made a dozen
gooG customers with that half dollar al
ready. There's tricksin all trades but ours.
Many's the more of these fellows that these
men will give me-"
AS he spoke, he pulled open the money
drawer and took therefrom the bill the
stranger had given him. He looked at it
closely, admiringly, doubtingly, and then
with undisguised disgust:
that half dollar back. The bill is bogus %
WHO'S DAT KNoCKIN' v-The game was
in q little old log cabin and there were three
playing poker. One of 'em was an old
preacher. and the other two was a ku-klux-
in him and winning all his money as fast
as they could. watched the game awhile,
and was attending where I could see the old
preachers hand. After four or five deals
the old preacher got four aces dealt him
before the draw. He turned his head clear
around, and says he: "Who's dat knockin'
on Thsre ass eV Vwsasn'yanybody s knocking at the
door, but you See. the~ofd preacher wanted
to give the oGeftwo q chance to fix up a
hand. They wasn't playin' straight flush
es, so he turns clear around with his back to
the table, and says he: "Who's dat knock
i'm at dat do? Is dat you, Mariah? All
right. Use comm in minit!
Zone of the other fellers had two kings,
and they gunned through the pack and got
out the other two kings before the old
preacher had time to look around the table.
One of 'em bet dollar. Then the old
preacher went down in his pocket an got
all the money he had, SAG, an put it up.
you fellers', says he, has been Winnin' my
money, and youse kin jist as well have it
all. rs raisin' We forty-six dollahs.'"
"The feller that had the four kings bor-
rowed all the money his partner had and
called the preachers raise. The old preach
ers raked in the pot and got up, and says
he: 81 knowed dat was you knockln' at
dat do, Mariah; rs comin'.' Then he
went out. p WASHINGTON Post.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1884-06-05


Democratic Convention, and apportioned
among the respective Congressional subdi-
visions Of the county In proportion to pop
ulation.
In every convention to nominate candi-
date for Congress, or for the Office of sOlici-
tor, majority of the votes shall be necessa-
nv to q choice, and the votes shall be taken
viva u0ce and recorded, unless there be but
one candidate, in which event the vote may
be taken by acclamatiOn. AS soon as Con-
gressional or Judicial Convention has NOM
mated the party candidate for Congress or
solicitor, it shall adjourn sine die; and
whenever candidate to fill an uneXpired
term of either office has to be nominated, it
shall be done by a new convention of dele
gates fresh from the people. The executive
committee of each Congressional District or
Judicial Circuit shall consist of the several
county chairmen of the respective counties
and parts of counties composing such dis
trict or circuit, which committee shall elect
it's own chairman, secretary and treasurer,
who shall continue in Office for two years in
a district and for four years in circuit, re-
spectively, or until their successors shall
have been elected. It shall require the con"
sent of majority of the whole executive
committee in any district or circuit to call a
nominating convention.
The executive cOmmlttee OF each diSlr!CC
or circuit shall be specially charged in its
discretion, except as herein provided, and
subject to the State Platform, as we'll as un-
der the supervision of the State Executive
Committee, with the conduct of every elec-
ton for Congressional representatives or So
licitors in such district or circuit; and said
committee shall meet at the call of the
chairman or of any three members, at such
times and places as he or they may appoint:
Each Congressional Convention shall meet
within it's Congressional District, and each
Judicial Convention shall meet within Its
circuit
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

In 1870 when 1t came to fix the
senatorial term of Office in this state,
Hon. J. 4. Henderson, who was then
our senator, drew the short term,
which ended in 1876. In the last
named year Poinsctt county claimed
the right to furnish the next sen-
ator, aud named Hon. Ben. Harris
as its choice. This right WAS con-
ceded by the democracy of Missis-
sippi county, and also by large
number Of democrats in this county :,
and Col. Ben. Harris became sena.
tor. At the expiration Of his four
years term the democracy Of Missis-
county claimed the right in turn to
name the senator, which was done
in the person of Hon. John b. Dri-
yer, whose term is about to expire.
1t will be remembered how the
Jackson county democrats took Dri-
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
OSCEOLA, ARKANSAS, SATURDAY, AUGUST 80, 1884

to the polls upon their tickets, and
elected him, without an effort upon
his part. Indeed, when he visited
here to canvass, he was assured that
it was a waste Of time, and he went
about his private business. 1t is
now Jackson county's time to name
the man, and this has been done.
We can't believe that the gallant,
true and tried democracy of Missis-
sipPi county will fail in its PLAIN du-
ty in this case. II they do then
such Il course will be utterly at war
with the past history of the party in
that county, and nothing could sur
prise us MORE Jackson County
Herald.
The TIMES recognizes the right Of
Jackson county. to the next state
senator, and has often SO expressed
itself. The Democrats of Mississip-
pi County, who have always proved
themselves true to the party, will, we
feel assured, not fail in this case.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

the question; its republican trick
the same that wrenched the Office
from Eph Brown in '82. Set down
upon the thing and let's have Barlow
for Prosecuting Attorney. You see,
there are good many Republicans
to vote in Mississippi Co."
The above indirect, left handed
fling at the citizens Of Mississippi
county over the shoulders of Mr..
Edrington, is from the Poinsett Co.
Paper-Freeman's Express. There
are two causes which led to its ut
terance, and for neither of which is
Mr.. Edrington nor the democracy of
Mississippi county responsible. Ow-
ing to his personal popularity, and
the strict and impartial manner in
which he discharged his duties ~
prosecutor, led the republican party
of this and Crittcndcn counties to
endorse him as the choice of that
party in convention assembled, and
if they (the republicans) issued their
ticket with his name thereon, and
left Col. Stayton's off, he is not re-
sponsible for the omission. II its q
trick at all, it's plain and simple
republican trick, and Mr.. Edrington
is no party to il. The other reason
is because of DR.. Prewitt's candida.
cy for State Senator, for which, also
Mr.. Edrington nor the democratic
party of Mississippi county, are
in the least responsible. The fling
at our people comes with poor grace,
coming as it does, just on the eve of
the election, and we can only attrib-
ute it to want Of correct information
on the part Of the editor of the Ex.
press, as to how the so-called Missis.
sippi county convention was manip-
ulated. Neither the candidates for
county Offices nor the voters whom
it pretended to represent felt bound
by its action, as it did not fairly rep
resent the will of the democracy of
the county.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
Report On Temperance

Your committee beg leave to sub
nit the following:
1t would seem at first thought,
that all men who are informed, and
acquainted with the effects on the
mind, the great evil, the appalling
results, the destruction and evil that
follow in the wake of intemperance,
would rise as unit, and down the
fell monster, and not only to cause
to cease the sale, but also to prohib.
it the manufacture OF all alcoholic
spirits, save for Medicinal and Me-
chanical uses.
1ntemperance is blighting the
youth Of our land, who are the hope
of our country. We can expect to
to do but little, in reforming those
whose habits are fixed, minds biased,
hearts cold and Indifferent to the
best interests Of the future, and
more or less financially interested in
the traffic. Hence the importance
of urging npon all the necessity Of
prohibition.
We think the policy of high H.
cense wrong in spirit, also in effect.
We learn there are eight saloons in
Mississippi County, four of them pay
license of sl,lOOO,OO each,
while four them pay seven hundred.
We have no means of assertaining
the amount of money, whisky and
Intoxicating beverages, costs this
people, put we have learned enough
to justify us in saying, directly and
indirectly, it costs the people more
than provisions and clothing.
We do not think moral suasion
sufficient to meet this legalized traffic.
From the foregoing and many
other considerations, and as the Me-
thodist Church is, and always was,
a Temperance society, therefore,
RESOLVE, by the Mississippi Dis.
trict Conference, That we urge and
expect the members of our Church
to abstain from the use of all alco-
holic spirits as beverage; to use all
lawful and honorable means to elm.
mate the use and sale Of it our coun.
try; and further
RESOLVE, that it is the sense of
this conference that the cause of
Temperance, is the cause of fallen
humanity, of helpless women, of
fatherless children, and the church.
RESOLVE, that copy of the Tenn
perancc report be sent to the Editor
of the Osceola Times, requesting to
publish the same, that the sense of
this conference may be known.
Respectfully,
r. NJ. OwNBY, Chairman.
B. HARRIS.
w. A. PENDERGRAss.
Com.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

An exchange says: "Whcn young
man marries it is like calling for a
meal at restaurant in Paris, when
you don't understand French-you
never know what you are going to
get" But one of our young ladies'
said to her beau last Sunday when
he quoted the above in her presence,
''that when young lady marries it
is like calling for hash at an average
hotel-they don't know they are GO
ing to get some of every thing refus-
ed by other people" They are en-.
gagged yet but the day has been
postponed.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
The hest inkp of the season ~,

The best joke of the season was
pcrPetrated the other day, by Ed
Parry who has been acting as figure
head in the Clerks Office lately,
while the Chief was out delivering
over his supporters to his successor;
meeting Big Laker on the streets,
who was equally as learned as him
self, he took him to the Court house,
to show him the records, to prove
that Hugh r. McVeigh was not quail.
flied to fill the Office of Clerk. To
those who know the two men, with
Hugh's reputation as being the best
Deputy Clerk in the State, the joke
will appear in magnified form
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

jackson and Poinsett Counties
seem no part Of the Senatorial Dis
trict Democracy, in the eyes of r..
G. Prewitt, Of Mississippi county.
He ignores every precedent and un-
dertakes to "Boss" the District in an
unceremonious manner. Let us not
fret over this matter until after cleo
ton, for we do not believe that the
Democratic vote of Mississippi coun-
ty will go for Prewitt. But when
it was Poinsett's turn according to
previous agreement, to furnish a
Senator, Jackson county went more
than a thousand majority for Poin-
sctt's man, let Poinsctt's people see
to it, that Prewitt gets no vote here.
Let us show our gratitude to Jack
son by voting every man for John
w. Stayton of Jackson Co.-[Free-
mans Exprcss.l
Thus it will be seen what a false
attitude the people of Mississippi
County are made to assume by the
action of few men at the So called
Mississippi County Convention, in
nominating DR.. Prewitt for State
Senator, just in order to get him out
of somebody's way. Democrats of
Mississippi County, we appeal to
you not to forsake the old land marks,
and by your ballots next Monday
show that you recognize the right
of Jackson county to the Senatorship
and cast a solid vote for Hon. John
w. Stayton. There is no man per-
haps whom the people of this county
under any other circumstance, would
be prouder to honor as their choice
for any Office in their gift, than DR..
Prewitt, but we can't see, how, with
out violating the most sacred party
obligations they can support him
against the regular nominee. We
have always found them true to ev-
cry obligation in the past, and we
have every reason to believe they will
not prove recreant in this case.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

Perhaps it is about time to trot
out the famous "Sun cholera mix
ture," which is probably about the
best remedy for cholera, Asiatic or
other that has been devised. 1t is
nobody's nostrum, but genuine
remedy that has stood the test of
time. Here it is: Take equal parts
of tincture of cayenne, tincture of
opium, tincture Of rhubarb, essence
ofpeppermint and spirits of camphor.
Mix we'll. Dose 10 to 30 drops IN a
wine-glass full of water, according
to age and violence of the attack.
Repeat every 10 minutes until re-
lief is obtained.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
To THE VOTERS OF THE 2ND. JUDI
CIAL CIRCrIT or THE STATE OF
ARKANSAS.

AS it is known to most Of you for
two months past ] have been vigor-
ously engaged in canvass of this
circuit for the office of Prosecuting
Attorney, and owing to the fact that
my health has failed, in consequence
Of which | have for two weeks been
unable to canvass, think it best to
withdraw, and feeling truly thankful
to my friends throughout the Circuit
for the hearty encouragement they
have given me, and hoping they will
approve of my withdrawal, | am as
ever most
Respectfully,
j. A. Barlow.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
"ENTKRED ACCORDING TO ACT OF
CONGRESS"


CONGRESS-"
Much stress has been laid upon
the fact that a certain book, (of
which the community has heard much
of late) had been a" entered accord
ing to act of congress-" and there
fore must be true and authentic, and
as none of our citizens, who are gen.
orally well posted ON all public mat
tiers Of this character, have taken the
) trouble to explain the real signifi.
cance Of this sentence, but on the
contrary rather wink at the errone.
Gus conclusions arrived at by the
less informed, we just want to state
that, it is mistake to suppose that
Congress sits, like a coronor's jury
upon corpse, and passes judgement
upon every book, pamphlet or pa
per evolved from the fertile brains
of the countless authors and scrib-
blers scattered over this broad land.
No more does Congress sit as a board
of Inspectors to test the merits of
the numberless m-chanisms and con :
trivances that are being daily invent
ed and patented, or every patent
Rpstrum decocted by the army of
patent medicine quacks. The word
"patented Oh every bottle of Sure
Cure Ais" and recommended by their
manufacturers to cure you Of the
liver complaint, does not in every
case represent the "guinea stamp"
Of true merit. When man applies
for license to sell any article Of traf-
ic, he does not send samples to con-
gress for the members to inspect,
test, taste or operate. The various
bureaus, established by the govern
ment, through which these rights and
privileges are obtained, for stipu-
lation, protect the authors, inventors,
patentees, copyrighters, &C., from in
fringement by others, but offer no
immunity from imposition on the
public at large. The greater the
fraud or swindle, the more patents
are applied to it, e, 'entered accor-
ding to act Of congress-" though to
the average mind the fraud may not
appear patent.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

NEXT Monday, by their ballots,
the people will decide whether they
can cast their votes as free and in
dependent American citizens, for
men of their choice, or, whether they
are subservient to the will of the
combinators' who arrogate to them
selves the power tc transfer the votes
Of the people to this that or the 9th
er candidates, or in whose favor they
withdraw from the race.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

AGAIN the TINES would call at
tention to the proposition to vote
For, or Against the Amendment.
If you want to vote for the PROPOSE
ton, scratch out or erase the words,
a" Against Amendment No. l." if
against, scratch or erase "For
Amendment No. l." If you FAIL to
vote either way, your vote will be
counted as AGAINST.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

Coon, honest work and faithful
service by public official should be
first considered by the voters as of
infinitely more Importance than the
good luck of any Office e-seeker.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
Advertisers by the year will Ierests icsS-

GE- Advertisers by the year will tercstr icsSd
TO their legitimate business.
t YEARLY advertisements may be changed or
reset four times during the year free of charge.
eH-Partiee orstrscting for yearly asivcrtire-
S,rnts and disseminating from any cause. viii be
charged short time rstes, ne per time inserted
SEE RATES.
eU Foreign advertisements, sent through
Advertising a Agenci-s. must be paid for In ad-
rance, or deposit made with some one whum
we may designate.
sH- Marriages and deaths, not exceeding ten
Knes will he published ~ news, Tree Of charge,
out obituaries tributes Of respect. funeral mott
ces and invitations charged ar advertisements.
ev- Ali personal matter. letters or communi-
cations setting forth individual rcheinee or In
terests to be pro,aotcd, emanaiing from part,
or parties, organizations or societies. VIII bc
charged for ms other advertisements
eH- In all legitimate demands OF the demo
cratic or Conservative party, or "f the great M
terests Of the general public upon our columns,
tho TinEs will not iail vi its duty
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

Hon. ]. w. Stayton, our next
State Senator, was in town Tuesday
it is of no use for us to say that
Poinsett county is solid Cer him, for
the people are more than enthusias-
tically in his favor.-[Frccman's Ex-
press.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

The contract is, to deliver the vo-
ters, but will they do it9 and wont
the voters have something to say
about it?
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
,y,Ns;RLSsMAN- FIRST DI- TRICT.

W. srr authorized to announce Hon Poin-
dexter Iuhn. of ~. Francis County rs candi-
,lasc Ior re-. election 10 Congress from the First
Congressional Distiict, subject to the Demo-
q attic Congressional Convention.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

PUBLIC speaking by the candidates
for the Legislature to-day. Turn
out everybody and hear them.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

THE candidates for the Legisla-
ture addressed the citizens of Chick
asawba township last Tuesday.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

The Post Office at Louise in the
lower end OF the county, has been re-
established, with DR.. ID. &. Joyner
as p. NJ.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

"W. b. Edrington's ticket has
been received; he leaves the regular
Democratic nominee for State Sena-
tor out in the cold; its a Dodge of
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

CHINA has taken up its chop-sticks
and France its BATON and they have
gone at it in earnest.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
ron JusrI,E OF THE PEACE.

We are authorized to announce Mr.. A. }
Lynch as a candidate for Justice Of the Peace
for Monroe Township at the ensuing Scptem-
bcr election.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30

We are authorized T. announce DIR +. @
Mctiavck as II candidate Tor reelection to rep
resent Mississippi County m the lower house Of
the next Legislature, at the ensuing election.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
FOR pRosECUuNG ATTORNEY.

We are authorized Ia announce Hon " B.
E,lrington as n candidate for reelection to the
office of Prosecuting Attorney OF this-the End
Judicial Circuit Of ArKansas'
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
CIRCUIT COURT JUDGE.

We are auth orized I" announce the name Of
Judge W. II. Gate. preasent incumbent, by
appointment. for election To the Office OF ir-
cut Court Judge of this, the 2nd. Judicial bis
trict. Election first Monday In September.
The Osceola times., 1884-08-30
fuk REl'RESENrAII;E.

We are antho iz.sl To announce Dr. II. L.
Dunsvant as II candidat. to represent Mississip-
~ county In the lower house of the next Legis-
isturc, subject To the action of TIA. county con-
vcniipn