davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
A Discouraged Passenger.

I'm disconr1gsd Il Gsm." said 2
tired and seetiy- lIOking passenger. as
he Topped into az seat and pulled bis
hat down over his eyes. Whats the
matter? Haven't you done well out
West!" 'Done well? Yes, we did q
well, if that 8 what'you mean Xxx
plain youBelf.s" "Why. my partner
and me had a couple of thousand
ahead, when we struck a place out in
Missouri. where there
were indications of oil. My pard used to
work up in the oil regions, and he said
he knew there was oil down there. So
we sent for drilling machine and went
to work. After we'd got down nine
hundred feet and pretty near the bot
tom of our pile. too, / give up. So did
my pard. But JIM he says. we've
got our money in this hole, now let's
git it out The result was he sold a
piece of land in Iowa and l took some
of my wife's money. We went down
East and bought car of oil and lot
of empties and had tie whole lot billed
as empty barrels. Bout q week afore
the oil was due we give out that we was
about TO strike it, and had sent for a
car load of empty oil barrels to fill.
The load came and was full to the roof
of the car, the top barrels only being
empty. There was big excitement in
that neighborhood, but no one sus-
pected what we were at. So that night
my pard an an two hired men we'd
let into the secret. worked like beavers
pouring that car load of oil down the
hole. 1t took us from midnight to near
daylight the hardest kind of work.
Then we all went to bed, but crawled
out in couple of hours. and, when the
crowd had collected started up our lit
tie pump. was so happy that mornin'
could have flied, as expected before
night to sell that hole for at least fifty
thousand dollars. Well, rs l said, we
started up the pump, with a big crowd
around" Here the tired and seedy
passenger paused. but was pressed to
go on. With a sigh he resumed: at
makes me so ALFRED mad just to think
of it," he said, that can hardly talk.
But, would you believe it, nary u drop
of oil could we pump from that hole.
Every gill of it had run off in the
ground. That hole was as dry as-as
am now. This" he concluded, as he
handed the flask back to the kind
hearted drummer who had passed it, sis
how have done we'll in the West. -
CHICAGO Herald r.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
Harvard Students.

College students study with all sorts
of incentives. A few study all the time
when they are not sleeping or eating.
They are ambitious to lead their class,
or at least to get an average of ninety
per cent. for their four years, or they
depend upon winning a scholarship of
two hundred and fifty dollars to carry
them through. and so are often COM
PEELED to dig constantly for high
marks. Another and larger class of
men are content with an average of
eighty-five per cent. and do not care to
grind for degree with the highest dis
tinction. They are fellows of
good parts, who usually take
what course they like-Harvard STU
den 5, remember, can study almost
what they choose after the freshman
year-and who work faithfully every
day. Men who do not care or who do
not think they are able to graduate with
great distinction study hard enough to
get an average of seventy-five per
cent. for their four years and get
degrees with distinction. They, as do
all kinds of students, sometimes pick
out soft courses, so-called, and seldom
hurt themselves with work, though they
are far from being. loafers. All these
men would consider course failure
if they didn't get ION the rank list" in
it-that is. if they didn't get seventy
per cent. in it. About one hundred
men, l should say. in every Harvard
class of two hundred, average below
seventy-five per cent. in their studies.
About quarter of these are contented.
or have to be contented. with simply
"pulling through If they haven't a
condition in any study at the end of the
enior year and have an average of fifty
per cent. in all their studies for the
four years. they get the coveted
skeepskin. Some of them are very
dull, some are very lazy, and some
are both. They take the softest courses
and hire private tutors, and, usually,
by vigorous bracing, work off all their
conditions and get the required fifty
per ent.-BOsfOn Globe.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
- % " = . q
USEFUL AND SUGGESTIVE.

oil cloths can be kept like new il
washed once month in skim milk and
water, equal quantities of each; rub il
in web and polish with an old silk cloth,
and they will keep for years. Gepe-
land Leader.
Ginger Snaps: One quart of mo-
lasses. one pint lard, one tablespoonful
ginger one tea-spoonful of soda, one
egg. Nix and roll an eighth of an inch
thick, and cut out and bake in .fnoder-
ately hot oven.-Aibany Journal.
Cake Pudding: Take old bits Of
cake Gf two or three kinds all the bet
teri, break in small pieces, put them in
pudding dish which has been previ-
ously buttered; make a rich custard,
pour over the cake, bake or steam. 1t
is made still nicer by adding cncoanut
frosting. and setting in the oven till of
a light brown. - Toledo Blade.
-Unalterable Paste: Take one table,
spoonful of -four, add gradually one
pint of cold water; boil slowly and stir
well TO prevent burning until it thick
ems; keep boiling till it becomes thin;
add one tea-spoonful of nitro muriatic
acid, and boil till it again thickens,
when it is ready for use. This paste is
harmless. cheap and will neither turn
sour nor mold.-.Scienttfc Ante,fcIh.
The quantity of food actually
needed by the body depends on the
amount of muscular and outdoor exer-
else. Persons who have a strong con-
stitution, a healthy stomach and take
much exercise can eat and digest al
most anything with impunity, but what
is good for one is hurtful to another.
The most unhealthful kinds of food are
those which are made SO by bad cook
ing, such as sour and heavy bread.
cake, pie-crust and other dishes con-
sisting of fat mixed and cooked with
-four Scientific Monthly.
In these DAYS of hard competition
from increasing skill. brains as well as
muscle are re luired to make any line of
farming successful. Both are needed,
but brains are the more important. II
is brains that make n man a better
farmer than his iackass, which has fivs
times the strength of his master. Whils
a farmer should not be afraid or neglect
full of work, he should not so exhaust
himself with manual labor as to have NJ
energy left to give force to his brain.
Too many do this. II would be better
for them TO work less and think more;
and MAKE larger drafts on, the lower.
animals for muscular power. In farm.
ing nothing pays like intelligence
National Lice Stock Journal.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16


Two old friends who .hAd msefor the
first time in many years were discussing
bygone days. - ~ ct
"Let me see," said one, '.you had q
son, did you not ~
"Yes, and am sorryto say he turned
out badly. He became engaged in a
fight, while under the influence of liquor,
and killed man. He is at present serv-
ing out life sentence. gV
THAT is rather bad" remarked the
other, "but have been still more unfOr-
tunate with my boy. Poor fellow 1
suppose it is mostly my fault. I should
have watched him more closely when
he was young" And the strong man
wept copiously.
"You have my sympathy, my dear
friend" said his companion earnestly,
as he grasped his hand and pressed it
warmly. MAY l ask what your unfor-
tunate son is doing P'' !sess5
You may" replied the other, his
voice choked with emotion; "he is a
baseball umpire. Philadelphia Call.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
ATurkish HSne.s,ell.r.

IA Man of Leisure describes his ex-
perience, of buying horse while travel
ihs in the sEast, his companion, whom
he calls 1.-THE Captain" conducting the
trade in the Oriental jockeys own
language. a.. =
e. The owner was called for, and a
strapping fellow about thirty years of
age approached. He was attired in the
Turkish costume. consisting of a short
Jacket, blue vest embroidered and COW
cred with bell-buttons, baggy breeches,
yellow sash, goat-skin boots and red
fez; his hair was short, face dark, with
bright, cleaning eyes and o fierce mus
tache. He was above the medium
size. and withal pleasant looking fell
low. ....-.a -. .E.....F
Nov, my son." said the Captain,
show much do you ask for the horse?"
Making a salaam, the Kurd answered.:
master, if thy servant hath found favor
in thine eyes, thou shalt have the horse
for two hundred sequins."
30 Father of the Faithful, hear the
thief!'' shouted the old fellow with the
swivel neck. Two hundred sequins
for the brute, when will sell my beau
tiful beast for one hundred"
"You ask too much, my son." said
the Captain.
Thou seest. 70 FRANCISCAN, that my
horse is swift as an arrow from the
bow, and that he springeth like jackal.
See his loins, they are in strength, as
the lion"
II see all these things. o child of the
Faithful, but yet thou askest too much"
swell, please God. thou wilt buy him
for one hundred and fifty sequins.''
Now. may dogs detile thy grave,
thou robert" shouted the fellow who
sDorted the blue gabardine and yellow
ippers. "Wouldst thou cheat the
s ranger within our gates, when for
ghty sequins he can buy my beast. the
p Idle of Bessora. instead of mounting
Iny old camel, which is fit for nothing
but lepers to ride:?"
II will count down in thine hand
twenty sequins with the Sultana of
FRANCISCAN thereon for thy horse" said
the Captain. r..- E... .Na.... ..
What hath thy servant done to thee.
o master, that thou should thus revile
him? Say eighty, and we shall rejoice"
"No;1 will give thee twenty" 'azA
Fifty sequins, and he is thine" q.
mo" 'I.'... .-f "A.f '...'
"He is of the children of Araby; but
still thou mayest have him for forty"
Twenty, or we shall depart in
peace. - Co., rf r...
'In Allah's name, say thirty"
"No."
"Well. thou shalt have him for
twenty; but be kind to Selim, for he is a
good horse, and does not love to be
beaten. "-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
Amusing the Baby.

Little babies are often tortured by
well meaning but inconsiderate nurses
and friends. If they show any uneasi.
hess or nervousness, they are trotted
and bounced and iolted till at last, per-
haps. they fall asleep from very ex.
haustion. How would grown people
love TO be tickled on the soles of thei,
feet: to be roughly clutched in the pit
of the stomach and shaken; to be tossed
to the ceiling. sometimes Just after q
hearty dinner; to have their cheeks
pinched and kissed by anybody who
happens to admire them?
Is it sure that the baby likes these
things? He can't speak 10 ob.ec if he
doesn't. To be sure he laughs nervously
when tickled, but the laugh is almost
indis;inguishable from cry, and il
he becomes desperate. and sends forth
a very audible protest, he is called
Gross
Poor, much-enduring baby! Your
father would defend himself against any
one who attempted to treat him as you
are treated. He considered himself in
suited and abused when tossed in a
blanket in his school-boy DAYS. The
sensation when dropping
from height is supposed to be more
agreeable to You than it was to him
then. Your mother counts it bad
night when she dreams of falling down
from some high elevation.
Some young children do undoubt-
eddy enjoy rough play. They are OF
the hardy. reckless kind, who will be
endangering themselves continually as
they are growing up, and have number
less hair-breadth escapes recorded in
their histories. My plea is more es-
pecialiy in behalf of the sensitive, deli
cate children, who are frequently ex-
cited, and rendered wakeful BY injudi-
cious strain upon the nervous system.
such need the gentle exercise admins
.ered by loving hands, which check
hem ere pleasure becomes a WEAKNESS
1et us be consicerate of the helpless
lftle ones intrusted to our care.-Farm
nd ffreside.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
Don't You Do It.

Don't suffer any longer with the pains
and aches of Rheumatism which make life
burden to you. Relief, speedy and per.
manent, can be procured at the nearest
drug store, in the form Of Kidney Wort.
Elbridge Malcolm of West Bath, Maine,
says: I" was completely Frustrated with
Rheumatism and Kidney troubles and was
not expected to recover. The first dose of
Kidney-Wort helped me. Six doses put
me on my feet, it has now entirely cured
me and fhave had no trouble since.n -s---
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

A LADY, who suffered from weakness
peculiar TO her sex, in writing to . friend,
said: 81 tried various kidney medicines,
friend told me to use DIR. Guysott's Yellow
Dock and Sarsaparilla. Its effect on me
was soon indicated by a clear and beauti-
full complexion, . freedom from aches and
pains, a complete removal Of nervous de-
preston, painless regularity in habits Of
digestion and otherwise. can not praise
the remedy too highly as a true friend to
suffering womanhood and as a strengthen.
ing medicine l.f i-Hy t.l.'eE Fuf
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

Arc dangerous even when administered By
directions and under the eye Of good phy.
stefan, and when put up in nostrums, often
poisonous mixtures or you may regret it.
SwITT's SPHC1FIC il not only preferable to
these dangerous compounds in the treat-
ment Of Blood and Skin diseases, but elimi.
mates the poison Of Mercury and Potash
from the system by toning up the organism
and forcing out the poison through the
pores Of the kim. IT
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases
mailed free. THE SWIFT SPECIFIC Co,
Drawer 9, Atlanta, Ga.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

William McHugh. who was hung
in Cincinnati recently for wife-murder.
was one of the three men who entered
matrimOny under the auspices of the
great Matrimonial Bureau started in
Cincinnati a few years ago.-Chicago
Tribune. ~.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
CURE OF COLD ON THE LUNGS.
Letter From Cyrus w. Field, Jr.
BEAST ETH STREET.

EAST t5TH STREET,
NEW YORK, May sth, 1893.
Several times this winter have suffered
from severe Colds on my Lungs. Each
time 1 have applied ALLcoCK's Porous
PLAsTERs, and in every instance | have
been quickly relieved by applying one
across my chest and one on my back. My
friends, through my advice. have tried the
experiment and also found it most success
full. feel that can recommend them
most highly to any one who may see fit to
try them. CYRUS w. FIELD, JR.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

JAMES BEEcHER, NJ. D., of Sigourney, Ia,
SAYS: ~ have been using a Cough Balsam,
called DIR. WV. HALL's BALsAM FOR TIE
LUNGS, and in slmost every case have had
entire success" a
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

I-A thing of Beauty. The most brill.
liant shades possible, on all fabrics, are
made by the Diamond Dyes. Unequaled
for brilliancy and durability. 10c. at drug
gists. Send &C.. for 80 Sample Colors.
Wells, Richardson & Co., Burlington, Vt.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

REPEATED requests have induced the pro-
p-ietors of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound to send by mail to various lady
correspondents, large mounted portraits
of Mrs. Pinkham; and now many house
hold wall is adorned by the familiar, moth
erly face of the Massachusetts, woman who
has done so much for all women. .....
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

PAPILLoN Blood Cure is alb solutely. vege-s
table, positive cure for diseases of the
blood and liver. All druggists sell il.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

Partition Skin Cure il q specific cure for
all skin diseases-Salt RhSum, Erysipelas,
Rash, Inflammation, Insect Bites, Inordi-
nate Itching, Ulcers, Cuts, Wounds, Burns
or Scalds, and all Scrofulous Eruptions.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

For BRONCHIAL, AsrHMArIC AND Prr<
MoNARY COMPLAINTS, "BrO,rn's Bronchial
Iroches" manifest remarkable curative
properties. Sold ONLY in bOJes. % cts.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

WHEN the leaves begin to turn-W hen
the teacher looks up to see who is studying
his lessop.-BOStOn Post.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

MRS. E. FORBES, of Potsdam, N. Y,
writes: 7" Samaritan Nerrine cured my son
OF epilepsy"
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

The prize fighters wife, when asked
about her husbands business, replies that
he is employed in a mill.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

IT takes a long time for a woman to get
into the thirties, but when she does get
there she stays. p
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
THE GENERAL MARKETS.

II afflicted with Sore Eyes. use DR.. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell u. &c.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

REFERRING to the hot water craze the
Boston Post remarks that some people are
always in hot water.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

The Admiral of the Navy has sal
airy of SIS, 600 . year, whether at sea or
on shore. Other officers have less wher
on shore Vice-Admirals at sea get
$4,000 year; Rear-Admirals, $1,000;
Commodores. 5000; Commanders,
$500; ieutenants. senior grade, 81
400; ensigns. 5000 or S1,400, and
cadets $3.50.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

For cold in the head, there is nothing
so good as Piso's Remedy for Catarrh.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

A CoUNTER-IRRITANT-T woman who
offers ten cents a yard for forty-cent goods.
-NorristOtcn Herald. . r...r
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
ROBERT s. NEWTON, II. D., l.. r. c. S.

We hear occasionally Of civil engineers
but how is it we never hear of civil brake
men?-OH City Derrick.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

Hale's Honey Of Horehound and Tar
Checks cold and prevents bronchitis.
Pixies toothache drops cure in one minute.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

? CIvILIrY is dear to everybody, and yet
it costs nobody anything.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

He that takes wife takes care.-FrdRk.
lin. Yes, he takes care that his wife
doesn't catch him huggging the servant
girl.-Detr0it Post. ......-
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

WHEN a man goes to the hair.dresser's in
warm weather he takes a short cut.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

One doesn't notice that q car window is
anything like an oyster until he trys to
omen i.-R0ckiand Courier Gazette.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

THE man who was ashamed to look, his
watch in the face probably got it on tick.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

WHEN was Mrs. Noah like a county in
Virginia? When she was rocking Ham.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

BOIIS Carbuncles and scalds are eliminated
By using Samaritan Aeruine. All druggists.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16

A FLASH of lightning has some striking
characteristics. So = 80
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-05-16
EMINENT MEDICAL TESTIMONY.
10 EAST 2D STREET.

Nv EAST I'D STREET, [
Z NEW YORK, March 18th, 1857
have used ALLcocK's Porous PLAsTERs
in my practice with remarkable success,
and found them peculiarly eflicacious, when
applied to the back, for Weak Spine and
Nervous Exhaustion. They AFFORD almost
instant relief in Coughs, Colds and Liver
Complaint. I cordially recommend them
as the best and safest Plaster ever made,
and would caution the public against the
numerous other so-called Porous Plasters
that are sought to be pafmed off on credu-
lous public; they are worthless and often
times dangerous. .. .r.tt .tft Is.
ROBERT s. NEWTON, ii. D., L. r. c. S.
Weak Back, Rheumatism and all Local
Pains arc relieved and cured by ALLcocK's
Porous PLAsTERs. One trial will convince
you, but see that you get the genuine, as
all other so-called Porous Plasters, with
cut a single exception, are worthless imi-
tations.
The southern sentinel. (Winnfield, La.) 1883-1910, 1884-12-12
Horse Eaters.

During the siege of Paris hippophagy
was matter of necessity; indeed, to-
ward the concluding months la viande
chevaline had become a luxury unat-
tainable by the vast mass of popula-
ton. Since 1871 the consumption of
horse-flesf has gone on steadily in
creasing. In 1874 the number of
horses slaughtered for food in Paris was
4,6S2. Ten years later the consumption
had nearly doubled. In 1885 Paris ate
9,4S5 horses, 307 asses and forty mules,
or not far short of 100000 pounds
weight of horse, ass and mule meat.
The explanation of this increase is, of
course, the high price of beef and NUT
ton in the French capital. While the
artisan can purchase horse steak at
less than sixpence a pound, he has to
pay three times as much for a cut OF
beef or mutton. Among the hippopha-
gists of Paris the flesh of the ass and
the mule is esteemed even more highly
than that of the horse, those delieacies
fetching price fifteen toy twenty per
cent. higher than viande echevaiine.-.
81. James Gazette.