Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-06
UNFITNESS.

An instance of the eternal unfitness of things: Major Sherry is noted Maine pro hibitionist.
 The New Brunswick kind of fun: On the 1 street-"Hullo, Jimmy! Are you St. John
 man!" "Yes, sir; I was born there. ."-Bos- l ton Transcript.
 A California farmer has had to pay a fine of $10 for knocking his hired man down with a bunch of grapes weighing ten pounds. It was cheaper than hunting around for rock. Detroit Free Press.
 ''What branches do you find most useful 1 to your pupilsF' asked visitor to profes- sor at the university of Texas. "Any branch l is good but find that the branches from a peach tree are the most useful of all. '-Texas 1 Siftings.
 A Cincinnati waiter is running for office l The increase of millionaire candidates is one of the most alarming features of American 1 institutions, but there is comfort in the fact I that this is the first time waiter was over l known to run.-Utica Observer. English papers state that F. Marion Craw- ford, the novelist, is going to marry daugh- l American papers say that there is no General
 Berdan in Troy, N. Y. These paragraphs l about F. Marion Crawford are getting to bea | Berdan in Troy, N. Y, as well as elsewhere
 to the ereader.-Norristown Herald. ''What did you get out of that easel" asked l the old lawyer. q got my client out of it, | replied the young one. "And what did he | get out of itg" Satisfaction, I reckon I l didn't leave anything else for him to get"
 ''Young man, said the senior, proudly, l 'fyou1l never be a judge. There is not 1 money enough on the bench for you. Eur l 1ington Hawkeye.
 A peculiarity of the Texas fever: Conver- sation between tenderfoot and native of l the Lone Star State, 'I don't see how you
 are able to raise any cattle in Texas" "Why 1 notg" ''On account of the Texas fever. 5 ] ''There is one peculiarity about the Texas fever that you may not have heard of. /" ''What is thata'' ttThere has never been a l case of it in Texas. ."-Tt xas Siftings. l "Will you pull the bell?" she asked of a
 man across the aisle as the car reached the corner. ''No, madam, he answered with a | strap which rings the bell" 3fAh! but never | mind! The strap is connected with two
 bells, and you might stop the wrong end of | the carl" And the look she turned upon l him was full of triumph veneered with cay l enne perpendicular Free Press 1 Not that he loved Caesar less. Johnny | FFMa, may take the baby carriage? I want l to play with it for a little while." Mother | ''Well, Johnny, I should think you might | ask to take baby, too; you know that the new nurse has not arrived yet. I am afraid | you don't love your little brother very much, Johnny" Johnny -F'Oh, yes I do, ma; he
 shall come too; he'll make splendid fire
 man. Billy Gubbins has his mothers clothes
 line; the carriage will be the fire engine and
 there'n be about twenty boys to pull. We'll l make things hum. Life.
 Important to General Gordon.-Kosciusko | Murphy is not very well-informed young | man, but he never misses an opportunity of | having his say, and he frequently puts his f foot into it. A few days ago two Austin l gentlemen were talking in a restaurant. q
 the cataracts,'' said one of them ''As I understand it, the cataracts are to be re-
 moved" responded the other gentleman 1 ''Then he will get over it." interrupted Mur- | phy, who was sitting at table close by. T 1 had an uncle who had cataracts removed ,and l he got over it."-Texas Siftings.