The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-05-02
THE THIN MAN TALKS.
He Disoourses on tho Charms of widows,
But not az Wives.
Eron, TIN D;ttob,,r .r n,.on;,1, u,.I-.

' ~ 49, "xV06s
From the P%ittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
"Widows are queer" said the thi1
mar with the cold tea scheme, as he
scratched his nose with the point of s
barlow knife. "There is sometime
about them that is not to be found il
any ether portion of the human race"
Overflow of electricity, p'raps," sen
tentiously suggested the thin man with.
out a shirt collar.
"P'raps."
"Whilethe husband is alive he acts as
a sort OF ground wire that they
can discharge their excess of the
element through" continued the thin
man in the style of one who has Ions
studied and philosophical upon a sub.
ject of deep personal Importance. GA
pms possesses much more electricity
than q man, 1t is a necessity for the
serious mission of life she fulills. This
frequently accumulates, like an excess
of steam, and then she has to blow off.
You have found it so 2" sympntheti.
cally asked the man with the cold tea
scheme.
ut has struck me that way" replied
"a WILL AAteiA "Iul Y clStls
"You are o ground wire, perhaps?"
Il am a ground wire" answered the
thin man in a low, subdued tone o,
voice.
II have occasionally noticed that vor
looked as though you had been struck
by lightning, but what I referred to was
a woman without her ground wire, q
widow. There is something wonder.
fully fascinating about them. They
seem to belong to the fraternity; to
have taken all the degrees, as may say.
and can give a man the sign and grir
and claim full fellowship. If 1 NAV be
allowed the expression, they know right
where to tickle them under the chin,
right where his chin is the most ticklish.
And they have the nerve to doit. There
is where they hold such an advantage
over the unmarried girls that come in
competition with them. While your
miss is blushing and putting n fellow to
all sorts of desperate attempts to make
himself agreeable, your widow is quietlv
making him think he is the handsomest
and smartest man in the world. You
see she puts him in q good humor with
himself and then he is sure to be in a
good humor with her. She knows to
nm ounce just how much fattery the
man will take from n woman, and she
also knows that this earth does not con-
tain the full amount. She is the terror
of her sex. The married women are
afraid of her for she knows too much,
and the girls detest her, for they feel
that she is q rivnlin the field, with tactics
of which they are in sublime ignorance,
Naturally, this unhappy position excites
sympathy, aud the men view her as q
sacred trust bequeathed to them by
som~edeparted ground wire, that they are
bound to prospect. Then, they are so cosy
and comfortable and confidential
like. They tell you all
their little woes aud troubles,
and hopes and a~nnoyances, and the
first thing you know they make you
feel like q father to them.
In fact, they are so warm and COM
forting as widows that q man"
THAT'S enough" broke in the thin
man. 4Don't go any further. Your
picture is pretty one. Don't spoil it
with a bad frame. AS widows they are
angels, but"
AS wives, what are they?"
Well, I'm married to one, andinot a
liberty to say"