Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1884-01-10
WANTED TO SEE THE EDITOR.
A Delicate Mission.
Brooklyn Eagle

Can l see the editOr?"
Could she see the editor That divine
combination of yellow hair fur, feathers,
smiles and bushes. Well, the editor
should giggle hysterically! Had she de-
manded the demijohn Of the managing edi-
tor, the spiritual inspiration of the reli-
gious editor, the salary Of the city editor,
they would have been placed on the sacrl-
fetal altar before that vision.
Five genteel manipulatOrs of public
opinion looked as much, as they formed IN
line before her, beseeching her that she
make known her wants.
81 am almost afraid of editors" she
murmured, taking in the procession with
shy glance.
None of these are editors enough to
hurt" observed the religious editor with an
insinuating wink
81 think you can trust me-" said the
managing editor, with scowl at his asso-
ciates.
Anything in my Mne?' inquired the
society editor, with smile like the new
moon, as he stood on one foot and button
hOled with the left thumb.
"If it is in the religious line of trade,
you want to see me before going else
where" interjected the religious editor,
feeling around at the corkscrew in his vest
pocket.
"You are all 80 kind" she .faltered, edg-
ing away from the religious editor in dis
may Il am not accustomed to business
ways, but" and the sensitive mouth
quivered, while every editor wondered
why each didn't kick the rest out doors for
having in some way touched the delicate
chords that so family held in check the
emotions of this fragile creature.
I'VE won't make this business, we will
call it pleasure" cooed the city editor, in
the tones that have so endeared him to the
people Of Brooklyn.
Well" continued the vision, eneour-
aged by the sympathy by which she was
surrounded "Pa is dead"
All" moaned the procession as one
mouth.
Then Pm your man." boldly asserted
the religious editor, gently taking her un-
resisting hand. What you want is beau
tiful obituary, for the style Of which l
have succeeded in making this Office justly
famous, and which, think l may modest
| ly say, is in the habit of taking the socks
off any thing in that vein now presented
to the public Give me the name of the
defunct, and ! will cast gloom over the
community that will make the communi-
ty's hair stand on end"
What brute !" hissed the city editor,
as the beautiful chin Of the blushing visi-
tor fell on her neck.
81 meant to say pa is dead and so is ma"
whispered the bereaved, casting reproach-
full glance at the religious editor.
Planted in the same coffin, / suppose"
| orUUoctod tho roliuiouo editor npcOnsciOuS
vi the effect he was producing on the fair
mourner. I'VE can do two as easy as one.
! Never mind the narrowing details, we sling
those with the obituary. Social position
of the remains; floral decorations; our pa
and MAJ shock to the community
| and all the rest of it. It's a lucky
thing happened to be in when you called
These other fellows would have butchered
the whole business and made you wish
the old man and old woman had
never pegged out. You just leave the
matter with me and I'll fix you out with
the orthodox buckets of grief"
"You are very good, replied the maiden
with quivering lips. PA and ma are
already buried. They died years ago, and
l had to face the cold world
The procession groaned and glared at
eacn Otner.
And so concluded to do something to
support myself, rather than live depen-
dent on rich relatives" continued the
maiden in broken voice.
"Heroicw chOrused the procession, and
the religious editor, with a new light in his
eye, released her hand and dropped his
arm around her waist.
How rich are those relatives?" he
insinuated.
And" she proceeded, disregarding the
question, Il I'm now putting up lightning
rods of better quality at less expense,
more perfectly insulated and with more
endurance, than any man, woman or child
in the same business in the United States.
l see that the Eagle building has been
remodeled and extended, and l feel conf
dent-just let me show you my samples of
the"
But she was left alone with her samples,
and the ten tails of five frOck coats de-
scribed artistic circles as their owners
banged five sanctum doors and left the
radiant vision to scramble down a dark
stairway as best she could.