The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-01-05
How TO Make Acouaintances.

nrSt on newcomers. IS RUE lalu GOVT
by writer in the Bazar. In Washing
ton this etiquette is reversed, and new
corners call first on the residents
Every one, from the highest officials
down. returns these, and after thi
ceremony the caller generally finds him
self invited TO the receptions of tn,
President and his Cabinet, the houses
of the officers of the army and navy
the Judges of the Supreme Court, an(
those of Senator'S and Representatives
Formerly no etiquette was necessary a
the White House; every one rushed il
to reception without the formality o
cards.
The social arrangements OF Washing
ton are so convenient that it is Thousand
pities that this etiquette does not go int
practice all over our land. rs no resi-
dent of large city can possibly know
whether her dearest friend is in tow
unless informed of that fact. This doe,
not, ms some might fear, expose societ,
to the entrec of unwelcome intruders
Tact, which is the only guide through
the mazes of society, will always
enable anyone to avoid an unwelcomt
intimacy or n doubtful acquaintance,
should such person call first. Now
the question comes up-and here doe
tors disagree-when may 4 lady call by
proxy, or when may she send her card!
and when must she call in person?
After dinner-party lady must cal
in person and inquire if the lady of the
house is at home. For other entertain.
ments it is allowable former to send her
daughter, her governess, or her maid
with her card, or she may send her
card by mail. In sending to inquire
for persons health, cards may be
sent by servants with kindly message.
No first visit, however, should be re-
turned by card only. This would be
considered q slight unless it were fol-
lowed by an invitation. But the <ize OF
New York, the great distances, the busy
life of woman of charities and large
family. and an immense circle of friends
often render y personal visit impossible.
She may be considered to have done
her duty if she in her turn ask her new
acquaintance to call on her on II speci-
fed day. We have thus far looked at
the question from the standpoint of q
lady who has az assured position and
too many friends. We will now look
upon il from the light Of person who
has no Cor very few acquaintances and
no introductious. We have considered
the question negatively. We are all
more or less newcomers IN this new
land; we are all carpet baggers, Or may
be; so we viii look at ii Automatically.
We will suppose that II young couple
marry and go TO milwaukee,; they do
not Know anybody; they are atone.
The husband makes his business friends;
they take a seat in 81 church; they have
Il house. The young bride feels lonely.
She would like to Know Mines. 4, Is,
and c; but they do not call upon her;
she is afraid to call upon them; she Is
unhappy. She asks what shall she do.
Undoubtedly did Mines. 4, b, and G
know this they would 90 and call.
Certainly the laree-minded and kind
hearted would But they are prcoccu-
pied; they know nothing Of her; they
are busy. 1t is n hard position, and
strife.
The Count Gurowski, in his book on
America. mentions the fact that ''evcry
woman il afraid OF every
other" He was an old aristocrat. and
he looked upon our attempts ut cXclu-
sivcness with "A derisvc scorn. He
said that the habits of American life
were those of the burgers of prosperous
towns like Hamburg and Antwerp, that
they seldom, if ever, rose much above
a contracted elegance. with no entOur-
lGe OF nobility, but that he would hear
.hc vile OF one respectable doctor talk OF
keeping the wife of another respecta-
Die doctor .'out of society," ~ the
Countess Ida might speak OF She pre-
of her former drcSsngmad.
There is an eXclusivcness which is
and right. No one can pre-
end that there is not. No one pretends
hat Mrs. Brown or Mrs. Jones i, to
nave M unsvmpathctic person ioislcd
Ipun her. She is Ia -eicC; her own
friends. and she may with propricty
,ay hat Mrs.. Clark is unsympathetic
and not to her taste. There are Mrs,
Clarks III this world vino show Il very
treat want of dclicacy in forcing them
selves upon society. Just rs ticr" are
nervous aud timid snobS who are think
ne of the ehadowy boundary-in". their
position; both are To be avoided
We see M less OF caste, however. IN
business Of first call. even should i'll
lot BE- returned. \ Young woman III Il
new city who has not been introduced,
t she l. sure OF her responsibility and
hat OF her husband, may certainly call
IN her clorgyman's family, that Of h 7
ioctor's, and her opposite neighhor. il