Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-09-12
Brevity is the SOM of Wit.

otSV1ly Is IIlC SCLll Oh VIII.
t - |
ELECTROMAGNETIC following anus
ing story, which was told by Franklin,
ought to be read and acted upon by all
correspondents communicating their
thoughts to the newspaper press:
a young man, on commencing bust
ness, proposed to paint over his shop
window, "John Thompson, halter,
makes and sells hats for ready money!"
to which was added the sign Of a hat.
,Onefriend suggested that, as he made
and sold hats, the word "hatter'' was
unnecessary. 1t was therefore struck
out and the sign remained, "John
Thompson makes and sells hats for
ready money"
Another friend advised him to omit
the phrase "for ready money" as there
would occur occasions for selling on
credit; and so the sign read: John
Thompson makes and sells hats"
1t was then limited the buyer of the
hat did not care who made it, and that
the sign would be better if it read:
"John Thompson sells hats"
But another amputation was in store
still, for a critic pointed out the useless
ness of the phrase SELLS hats" for, said
he, mo n would ever suppose that
the hats We're to be given away for
nothing" Thus, at last, this aspiring
tradesman commenced business, like
many worthy successors, under the
modest sign of "John Thompson"
Last year the valuation of North Da-
kota was ~$4,859,911 greater than that of
South Dakota. Now the situation is
reversed. South Dakota has this year
a valuation Of S5,134, 141.29in excess of
North Dakota.
"My DEAR" said an over-heated citi-
zen to his wife at dinner to-day, just
after he had swallowed a piece of meat
whose temperature was at the boiling
point. "my dear, this food is so hot it
will take the coat off my stomach
"Well, what do you want of a coat on
yonr stomach this weather." was the
gentle response. The husband was SO
confused that he rushed out of doors
and swallowed the days supply of Ice,
which the ice dealer had just left on
the sidewalk.-Troy Times.
Dhi7a1o7phin Call. 1Nirc{ Nov, VoxJ-
Detective-IIere is an order to shadow
young Grimes, the banker. He has
taken seven million from the vaults.
Second New York Detective-And
you want me to help you catch him, /
suppose?
Eyes; I hear that he has bought a
ticket for Quebec"
"The train starts at midnight, don't
it,"
EYES,"
"All right, then. We will begin
watching his house early next week"
While the total valuation of the Ter
ritory is considerably greater than it
was last year, the valuation is less for
the northern counties OF Burleigh.
Grand Forks, La Moure. Ramsey and
Stutsman, and for the southern coun-
ties Of Clay, Custer and Dawson. The
following interesting disclosures made
by the assessors' returns are pointed
out by the Press and Dakotaian: "Dur-
ing the past year, in the county of Bur
leigh, which contains Bismarck and the
capitol building, property valuation has
decreased ss233, 724. In the county of
Yankton, which contains Yankton and
does not possess u capitol building
property valuation has increased S159,.
66O."
Meissonier tried to hoax his gardener
the other day. "Do you know these
seeds?" asked the painter, showing the
man a packet Of dried herring roe
"Yes, was the reply, they are those OF
polypus tlunimus, a very rare tropical
plant" MISSIONER smiled sweetly
and asked the gardener how long they
{ would take to grow, andhesaid prompt
ly "iifteen days" "Then plant them
!; said the painter. He told the story tc
, a number of friends and invited them
: to dinner to see the denouement on the
, fifteenth day. rs they were sitting at
; their wine the gardener sent a message
to the effect that Meissonier's plants
had that morning sprouted. ooh
said the painter, this is too impudent
} bit let us go and see what the fello"
!, means" They went, but the laugh was
) against Meissonier when his gardener
led them to a little bed screened from
the sun, and. lifting aglass bell, showed
four rows Of red behring's sticking II
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