Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-01-25
PLEASANTRLES.
DocTons live by pillage.
CALIFORNIA is rnisin' raisins.

CALIFORNIA lS rnlsn ralBlnS.
A HEALTH-aIv1NG number-Quinine.
THE man who had SO elastic step
wore rubbers. e.. ..tt. IT,
How man decides how he will build
his house-By lot.
The chiropodist first dates from Will.
lam the Corncurer. ..
THE term Mormon means the NOR
mon-y you have the more wives you can
be sealed to.
THE man who hesitates is lost. That
is why Charlie Ross hesitates abont
coming back.
In the voyage of life every man is
provided with skull, with which to
paddle his own canoe. s
WICKED New York men want to be
buried in Greenwood, because it won't
burn SO quickly as the dry.
DARWIN says: "Man, only can
whistle" Darwin certainly never lived
anywhere near q railroad crossing.
A PROCESSION of men passed through
the Bowery and were an hour passing q
given point. The given point was sa-
loon.
WHATEVER you have to do, do it with
your might. Many lawyer has made
his fortune by simply working with a
will.
QUEEN VIoToRIA's children stand in
great awe of their regal mamma. No
wonder; she is 80 much great awe than
they. en-
"AnwATs pay as you CO." said an old
man to his nephew. "But, uncle, suppose
1 have nothing to pay with?" "Then
don't CO."
EDO TRY and talk little common
sense" said young lady to her visitor.
"Ah, but wouldn't that be taking an
unfair advantage Of you?"
WHAT swindlers there are in college
business An institution in this State
which claims to fit young men for the
ministry doesn't own single croquet
set. -.s-
WHosoEvER shall smite thee on thy
right cheek, turn to him the other also,
is q biblical expression. In modern
parlance it is termed "a reversible
cuff"
IT seems that competition has forced
the price of false teeth down so low that
it isn't really worth body's while to
cut his natural ones.-BwIington
HaUk-Eye.
SCENE: Bridal reception. Several Of
the guests, after shaking hands with the
bride, and all speaking at the same
time: "Where is the bridegroom"
Bride, naively-"Oh, he's upstairs
Watching the wedding presents.
Ones more my eager, searching eyes
sight OF thee hath gladdened;
Once more thou bring'st blest surprise '"
To him thine absence saddened.
Too long thy pearl-white hand hath pressed
That of some other Teller,
Come let me clasp thee TO my breast,
My loved and lost umbrella
ALL women are naturally afraid Of q
COW. "Madan," said the oleomargarine
dealer, when she uttered shrek at dis
covering that it was bogus butter she
was handling, "madam, you needn't be
alarmed. The COW it was made from is
too dead to hurt you"
An Oil City boy was recently taken to
the opera house by his uncle. A few
evenings subsequently there was COM
pany at his house, and tho uncle and
aunt were among the number. The lad
was relating what he saw, and among
other things said: 81 was a little bit
afraid, COZ every time the curtain rolled
down uncle went out to see man, and
loft me alone"
"PAPA," said an inquisitive boy,
"this morning the dominic prayed for
more rain, and this afternoon Deacon
Bixby prayed for dry weather to get his
hay in. Now, if the Lord loves the
deacon and the dominic just the same,
what do you suppose He'll do about it ?"
"My son, answered the old gentleman,
sternly, whenever you want 10 ask
foolish questions, go to your mother ;
don't come to me-"