The Black range. (Robinson, Socorro County, N.M.) 1882-1897, 1884-02-01
NO. 43.
FOOLISHNESS.

you tudke lJSlhR JuSI as you WOulu
any other young lady" ~How is that?"
"By pressing it,"
"Don't you think that this half mask
is Aery becoming to me?' inquired q
lady of rival at an Austin masquer-
ade party. "Well, yes; it hides at least
portion of your face"
A doctor was called to attend a pa
tlent, who on being asked if he had
not taken something strange into his
system, said he believed he had. ut
must have been that glass of water.
Haven't been so imprudent for ten
years."
A Philadelphia hotel keeper seeks to
scare the rural visitor into turning Off
the gas by notices, thus: "The rela-
tives of guests who blow out the gas
will have to pay for the amount of gas
wasted before the body will be deliv-
cred.
An Irish lawyer having addressed
the court as gentlemen" instead of
"yer honors," after he had concluded q
brother of the bar reminded him of his
error. He Immediately rose and apollo
gized thus "May it plase the coort in
the hate of debate called yer honors
gentlemen. 1 made mistake, yer
honors." The speaker sat down."
Brown was abusing Smith violently
on the sidewalk one night. Jones, who
heard it from the open window. yelled
to Smith, "Knock him DOWN. The
next day Jones and Smith met. "Why
didn't you knock that man DOWN."
asked Smith. 81 hollered to you to do
it." "Yes" said Smith, "and l would
have holered the same thing if had
been up there.
A Bay state girl frightened her lover
entirely out of his matrimonial notions
by working and presenting him with
motto: II Need Thee Every Hour"
He says he would be perfectly willing
to give her the greater portion of his
time but that his health demanded an
hour or two out of doors every day for
exercise.
Referring to the suggestion that the
emblems of mourning all over the land
be taken down and sent to the Michigan
sufferers, New Haven paper says: "A
Michigan sufferer clad in white cam
brio pantaloons and black alpaca over
coat, digging himself out of the win
ter's snow, would be more picturesque
f than comfortable"
81 wish, mamma" said little Johnnie
; Flzzletop. that lived In south Africa.
"Why, my son, do you wish to live in
South Afnca?" "Why, the mammas
down there don't wear any slippers you
know" "Yes, my son, but you must
also remember that the little boys in
south Africa don't wear pants, either"
"That's so," said JOHNNIE. Its queer
l never thought anything about that"
Beecher says four-fifths of the peO-
pie in heaven will be women. THAT is
all right enough" says Geo. Peck. "No-
body ought to kick about that. Four
fifths of women are better than men,
anyway, and they ought to 60 to heav-
en-. But according to that story, what
stag party there is going to be stand
| ;,,o thn fro in tba nthar YNlnnn ~
"ISnt it awful?" exclaimed the land
lady. "They say she refused nourish-
ment to the very last and actually
starved to death?" "What boarding.
house was it?" inquired Fogg. what
boarding house?" snapped the land
, lady; "who said anything about board
ing houses, Mr., Fogg? she died in pris-
on, sir" "Oh" said Fogg. "Of course.
when you spoke about her refusing
nourlshment l ought to have known
that they wouldn't have offered her such
thing at boarding house. How dull
, | was to be sure"
One time frog and hop-tode they
met, and the frog assailed the hop-tode
COS it was clumsey, but the tode it sed.
"If YOU will come here on this fiat stone
where we can start even, I'll beat you
jumping hi. best two out of three" So
they done it, and the first time the tode
it only just cleared the stone, but the
frog it went up SO high that it hurt
: itself coming down, and cudn't jump no
more atall, and the tode beat it the other
two times.-Little Johpnys Fables.
Among the occupants of the stage
from Fairbanks TO Tombstone. on New
Years day, were an old lady OF Mile
sian extraction, and Chinaman. It
s was bitterly raw day and many OF
' the passengers were complaining. AT
4 ter they were all through the China
a man ventured to remark in his pagan
9 English, "Belly cold to-day" The old
/. lady looked at him with an air OF con-
!. tempt. and remarked: "Ef you'd put
v your shirt inside your pants like q
: Christian, you haythun blackguard
!. yonr belly wouldn't be cowld."