Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1884-07-03
The Greatest OF All.

Mercy, how those fellows eat, how
peremptory they were in order, how
eager in contemplation, how energetic
in cutting up, how vigorous in putting
down. They hurry through the opera
ton as though they were having a
tooth pulled. and the quicker it was
over the better. I was particularly
struck by one man who finished a pork
pie, cup of custard, some cold coffee
and fifteen or twenty pieces of cheese
in less time, / was going to say than it
takes to tell it, who asked, while the
tumbler was still resting in his mouth
and the milk was gurgling down his
throat. "Check, please" and stretching
out the other hand for the ticket as he
moved away, pressing his fingers into
his side pocket for change with which
to pay. No wonder liver pills are sold
by the billions, no wonder stomach reg
ulators of various sorts and kinds find
quick and ready sale, no wonder doc
tors retire rich, no wonder, indeed, that
our grayeyards grow and our cemeter-
les extend their boundaries year by
year.. 1t apparently makes no differ
ence what time of the year it is, the icy
breath of winter. the sweltering heat
of dog-day August, the lassitude breed
ing fogs of spring. and the pleasant at
mosphere of autumn, each in its way
inspires appetite and drives the human
race pell-mell into the modern restau-
rants. We have them from the hum
BILE doughnut stand on the sidewalk, or,
for that matter, q lower grade still, q
hot corn man, who sells his fragrant
cobs from the curb of the pavement,
through many, many, styles and ranks
until we reach those gilded palaces
where luxury is the normal condition
and extravaganza the customary rule.
The great sin to-day is against the hui
man stomach Sins against the Ten
Commandments, we are told. can be
forgiven, sins against human laws can
be expatiated, sins against individuals
be condoned. but sins against the
stomach remain uncanceled and unfor-
given. A disordered stomach breeds
disease of every sort and kind; it I'M
mans the nerves. it unbalances the
brain, it dims the eye, it paralyses the
ear and makes life so wretched that
the conundrum often rises: as it
worth while to go through so much to
gain so little in the end?
Everybody has his nostrum. All the
way from hot water baths inside to red
flannel bandages outside; there can be
found doctors, nurses, patent medicine
men, old women who prescribe this,
that and the other. John Gilbert,
whose stomach is a long one, looks as
though he had never been troubled. /
envy such as he | envy Gen. Grant,
who smokes from morning until night
and drinks from night till morning. 1
envy Ben. Butler, whose stomach ca
pacity is simply eminent. People talk
about Beecher and Beecher's brain. I
concede Beecher and Beecher's brain,
but what gave him one or the other !?
Without doubt, Beecher's stomach.
Next time you see him on the platform,
in the pulpit, or bowling down the
street like tremendous lightning ex-
press under full Roadway, take him in.
Look at his magnificent head thickly
matched with whitening hair, see his
furrowless forehead, mark the keen gilt
ter of his full blue eye, see the ruddy
hot glow rushing through his rosy
cheeks, mark the leonine aspect of his
entirety. What is it? Brain, muscle,
nerve, disposition? Nonsense, it's
stomachs. i-Netc York Letter.