davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

A farmer, living near Rankin Station
on the Kentucky Central, whose wife wac
suffering intensely from toothsche, decid'
ed "a come to town with her for the pur'
pee Of having her teeth extracted Pref
e. soou after they had taken their seats
on the car the farmer walked into the
smoking car telling bis wife he would re-
turn directly. Daring the absence OF her
husband the conductor came leisurely In
1, the car, ticket punch in hand and APP
proAGhiug the lady reached out for her tick
ct, whereupcn the victim of tootbache open
ed her mouth and caught him, saying, "You
needn't mind giving me chloroform doc
TOT; just pull them out III try and stand
IL and when my husband comes back be
will settle with yOu."-lParis News.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

NEAR Charleston, S. c., twenty miles
up the Ashley river, and just in front of
Drayton Hall, stands one of the finest
trees on the continent of America. 1t is
live oak, and looks as though it had
lived 900 years, and was good for 1000
Or 10000 more. -Four feet from the
ground this tree girts nineteen feet ten
inches, the spread of its branches being
Ill and 122 feet. 1t is round topped
and perfectly symmetrical.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

Tine rJuHTING PARSONS ADVICE.
OF a clergyman in Massachusetts,
whose pugilistic propensities caused him
TO be called behind his back :" the fight
ing parson, it is told that one of his
Pensioners asked him to preach from
Matthew v, 20" Whosoever shall
smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him
the other Also" Certainly he would,
the next Sunday. And there was q
great crowd to hear how one Of bis tenn
permanent would treat such a subject.
After giving out the text, he said the
meaning was very clear and the doctrine
very satisfactory. "Ifsman smite thee on
thy right cheek, it may been a mistake /;
il may have been in sudden passion and
repented at once. You should bear it,
and turn to him the other cheek in or
der to learn what the intention is. But
ii he smite you again, let him have it !
for there is no scripture against that. 4"
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

The hour WAS twilight and as the lustre
Of the stars grew brighter in the gather
ing darkness he passed his lips 10 the fore
head Of the beautiful woman who stood
beside him and said tenderly; "When
will you consent to name the day OF our
union, darling-to let the wings Of my
Imagination rest2' And che answered
nesting her cheek against his shoulder:
when you have had your life insured,
dearest, and made me present Of the pol
icy"- Brooklyn Eagle.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

"CAN nobody" asks the London
Spectator, Suggest a stuff bit of work
for English capitalists to do? They
are standing idle in heaps, and they do
not like it at all. According to the
Statist, sum of money estimated ut
goo, 600, 900, or say nearly three years
revenue, is lying waiting for the profta-
BILE investment which it is so difficult
to find, and, although that figure may
be an exaggeration-we see no reason
for thinking so-it is certain that the
total sum available for new forms of en-
terprise must be very large"
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

The BEST WAY.-The agricultura
editor OF the Stanford JOURNAL says the
beet way to prevent moles from taking corn
after it has been planted is to "kill EN-"
This remsinds us Of similar advice given
Ed Chamberlain, the poor fellow who COM
mitted suicide in New Orleans last week,
several years ago when he was merchant
in Midway. A New York sharper adver'
tised that for fifty cents he would tell any
body the best wsyto catch rata. Ed sent
bis half dollar and in due time received
slip containing the following: Catch
EN- BY the tail."-[ Richmond Herald.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

PLANTS, like animals, differ much in
their habit, and the different sorts OF
food on which they subsist. The broad.
Ieaved clovers, turnips and mangels alb
stract from the air a large portion of
their growth, while the narrow-leaved
grains and grasses partake more largely
of mineral food, which they draw from
the soil. This fact will explain tue great
advantage of rotation of crops.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21
THE LIME-kILN CLUB.

"a leetle money will buy wood an
taters an bacon an shoes an cloze, y
said the old man rs the meeting opened.
Lots Of money will buy silks an satins
an iewelry an white bosses. DE man
wild leetle money seems TO believe dat
de man wild lots Of it am takin' all de
comfort. used 10 hab dat ideah, but
lie got ober it 1t am my solum belief
dat de man who sots down befo' his own
fire, wild his wife on de right and his
chil'en on de left, AN de oil cat an pan
full o apples in de middle, am in a posi-.
shun 10 take jist as much comfort as il
he lived in house wild golden stairs.
Take de world frew an you'll fin dat de
humblest homes am de happiest. De
man who has steady work, a sayin' wife,
an healthy children wouldn't be n bit
happier if he was 10 draw $4,000 in a
lottery. II he doan' take comfort it's
his own fault. It's her own fault if his
wife isn't happy. Sometimes my ole
woman gifts de blues an blows aroun'
kase she sees odder folks ride out in DER
keeridges an dress up in der satins, but
| build up a good fine, git out de apples,
cider, an popcorn, draw up de big
rockin'-cheer an she can't stan it NOAH
dan ten minnits. De blues begin TO fly
away, and she pats de bald spot on my
head and says; We has a cabin of our
own, plenty TO eat, leetle money in de
bank, in / 'spect we kin sot down an
take as solid comfort as if you war Guv'-
ner an l had ten silk dresses He who
makes de most of what he's got am fit
tin hisself TO enjoy better. No situa-
shun but what could be made worse.
Ebery dollar made by honest work
ought TO bring 80 Wort of solid comfort.
Wild desc few remarks, called forth by
oyerhearin' Samuel Shin growlin' aroun'
bekase he couldn't have mashed 'taters
at every meal, we will now eradicate de
usual order of business. Free Press.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

SAYS Andrc1Us' american Queen
"Those who think thar, i'll order to dress
well, it is necessary to dress extrava.
gantly or grandly, make a great mis-.
take. Nothing SO well becomes true
feminine beauty as simplicity. How
many ambitious women, in society o.
out Of it, would escape the shafts Of ridi
Guile if they had sense enough to undey
stand this"
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

The Brooklyn bridge has been open to
the public fer eight months, and estimates
Of its running expenses aud receipts for a
year, based upon this experience, are that
the expenses will be $2S0,000 and the re-
ceipts $50, 900 leaving a profit OF S24l 900,
with which to help pay interest amounting
to million dollars on the bonds issued for
its construction.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

HARRY JosEPHs, who died lately in
Boston, was q comical comedian on the
stage, but when about to die from a
sudden attack of heart disease he tragi-
cally cried: "Pray for me. Oh, God,
receive my spirit" Mr.. Josephs was a
half brother of the Rev. DIR. Loiimer,
of Chicago, and brother of Fanny 10.
sephs, .he famous London actress.
Semi-weekly interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1881-1905, 1884-03-21

Henry Watterson says the talk about the
old ticket is the sheerest nonsense, and he
generally knows what he is talking about
when Tilden is concerned.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
ALEXANDRIA AFFAIRS.

The protracted meetings which have boon
In progress In Trinity Nj. Il. Church during the
past week will DO continued during the pres
ent week. on Wednesday night the exercises
Will be conducted by Rev. Job A. Prlcs, Of
Hamlino Church, Washington, DO.
Frank williame, Frank Mason and II. Bran
derson were detained at Police Headquarters
this morning for being drunk and dsordcrly
on the streets. Tho Mayor on Saturday lned
Hugh Smith $3.50, Sarah Thomas $3.50 and
Thomas sutherland SIS for disordorly con.
duct
The tug Ida, OF Norfolk, Va, In tow OF SOW.
erel barses loaded with wood is reported hard
aground at Lower Cedar Point.
The steamer Moseley was taken to the lower
shipyGrd this morning, whore she Will go on
the ways for repairs.
Mr.. George d. Hopkins, whs has been In
Upper Virgipis for some time, has returned.
and Will take charge OF the Southern Telegraph
ofllce ir this city.
OF consumption, died at tho residence OF her
mother at the corner OF Wilkes and Pitt streets
yesterday.
The funeral OF Arthur Bacon, whose death
has beon mentioned, took place yesterday
morning from the residence OF the parents nt
the deceased, on Prince street, and was well
attended.
Mr.. Orlando Wood, delegate from tho lodge
In this city, left TO day 10 attend the convon-
ton Of the Catholic Benoncial Society, which
meets In Wheeling, W. Va.
The Circuit Court for the city, Judge James
Keith, and tho County Court, Judge James
sangster, met IN this city to-day.
MIR. VIM. ID. Wood has sold his residence on
South Fairfax street to Mr.. Hugo Herfurth
for S1,20O.
Cards aro out for tho marriage OF Mr.. Jean
Backer, OF Philadelphia, and Miss Bertie
daughter OF Mr.. Isaac Eichberg, OF this CITY
clined to accept the resignation OF Rev. Frank
Page, OF Fairfax County.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
EAST WASHINGTON.

Two little daughters OF Mr.. iward Qulgloy
Fannie and Maggie-of South street, bo-
tween Sixth and Seventh streets, wandered
from homo yesterday. They strollcd through
tho streets together from 10 o'clock a. m. until
about dark, when they were found by Onlcor
Rank on Massachusetts avenue northeast. The
parents OF the littlo ones were greatly elated
over thoir return.
Daniel Robinson, colored, got in an Avenue
car last night and declared that he was q bad
man from away back. AS no kept his hand on
his hip pocket, and swayed and tossed his
body, the passengers were fearful that no WAS
going TO draw the weapon Of his race-tho
razor. He cursed and sworo for some time
when Onlcor John Howe jumped on the car and
put him under arrest. On searching him Rob.
iDson was found to have a razor for which, no
doubt, Judge Smell will tax him tho usual $40.
Mr.. Horatio Shannon, OF Uniontown, is re-
covering.
Nearly oil the reed birds have left tho up.
per oatfelds. Ortolnn, blackbirds and sum-
mer ducks abound In great numbers.
Eagleston Band OF Hope held It's regular
meeting at the North Carolina sveuuo NJ. p.
Mission Church yesterday Sunday evening at
$3.50 p. M, presided over by Mrs. DR.. Rogers,
tho president OF the Band. Several new mem
beers were added. After the regular routine OF
business was transacted those present were
entertained with the following programme;
Remarks by Mr.. J. NJ. Doney, song by little
Miss Clara Wooddeld, recitation by Miss Emma
Swindell, duet by Misses Clara and Rosa Wood
field, remarks by Mrs. DR.. Rogers.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
AFRAID OF HIS CoACHMAN.
A Father who was Not Disposed 20
Take Any Chances.

A reporter of TIE CRITIC sat in one Of
our well-known confectionery establish
ments Saturday morning last slipping his
coffee.
Two very elegantly dressed young ladies
slighted from their carriage and came in
aud took seat behind the scribe.
The carriage was left in charge of al an-
Notwithstanding coaChman.
His face was wrinkled and he looked old
enough to have served as one Of Washing
toms body-guards. He was Scotchman.
The girls called for cream and cake.
By-and-by one Of them said: Heavens,
Elsie, sec you have now coachman.
What ever induced you to hire that old
Kriss.Kringle ?"
Don't say word and I'll tell you the
whole story" said Elsie.
mo, not wOrd.'
Nov promise mo on your honor that
you will never mention this"
Mover, never"
"Well soon after Victoria Morosni eloped
with coachman Hulskamp, papa discharged
his handsome coachman aud telegraphsd
over to New York TO his friend Mr.. - to
send him the Oldest and ugliest- look ing
coachman he could find"
We'll, he got him?' replied the other.
"Yes, he did,
Then the two fair ones Joined in hearty
laugh over the NATTER
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
ST. PATRICK,s CATHEDRAL.
when IL VIII Probably be Dedicate


The interior of St. Patrick's Cathedral Is
being rapidly completed, the stained glass
windows are all in place, the timber that
protected the polished marble pillars has
been removed, the scsffoldings taken down,
the organ placed in position and the i'm
pressive grandeur of the auditorium can
now be fully appreciated.
The decorations are being completed and
the pews will be placed in position next
week. The altar of tho old church will be
transferred to tho now building for tempo
rary use. On October 1G the church will
DO opened for inspection and vocal aud
sorgan concert will be given.
On October Is, the feast OF st. Luke
Father Walter is anxious to have the
church dedicated, although the Archbishop
has suggested that the ceremony of con-
secration DO postponed until after tho
plenary council in November, in order to
secure the attendance of several bishops
who would BIO unable TO attend otherwise.
Right Rev. j. ]. Keane, the former pas
tor Of st. Patrick's, will preach at the OPEN
ing, and the ceremonies will be OF an i'm.
pIessive character. The choir will be
strengthened and placed under the director
ship of some well-known leader.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
SUITS AGAINST UNCLE SAM
In Connection win tho water works
aud the Dam nj Grent FaIIs.

AhA VIII t1b NNONAH
aud the Dam ut Grent Falls.
The coming session Of tho Court of Claims
will consider several important questions
concerning the water-works extension, the
dam at Great Falls and the reservoir con-
struction back of Howard University.
The old suit of tho Great Falls Manu-
featuring Company for damages amounting
to over one million dollars for being de-
priyed of their right to the water power
and their ownership Of n portion of Conn's
Island and tho bed Of the river is still pend.
ing, and General Butler, as counsel for the
company, has made tho following PROPOSE
tion TO compromise, which is now awaiting
a report by tho engineer officers in charge :
Were the United States away from the Poto-
mac River at Great Falls, and would mover come
there to disturb tho company, believe that
the location would be indeed what It was
christened at It's inception, "south Lowell"
But the depressing hand OF tho Government,
resting on them for more than thirty years
tempt Of all legal rights by Its executive on
ceta, has changed all that.
In Departing EFFORT to obtain something OF
that which belongs To- the company and TO give
the United States full power to take as much
winter as they now or hereafter may need for
any purpose, offer in behalf OF the company
TO sell all It's rights TO water and land desired
by the United States, and in settlement OF all
past and present and future claims for dam
ages against tho United States and full COM
rcnsation for all acts done and to be done by
The United States, the sum Of s250,000.
In addition to this litigation suit has
been filed by George Peter, of Rockville,
Nd, attorney for tho Chesapeake & Ohio
Canal Company, claiming damages to the
amount of 100000, alleged to have been
caused by tho building Of tho Washington
aqueduct and its proposed extensions. The
amounts are specified as follows "For tho
land belonging to it, which are proposed to
be taken for the purposes of the said aque.
duct extension, $35, 900: for damages to its
right in tho bed and waters Of the Potomac
River because of tho proposed extension of
the aqueduct, $225,000; for the purpose
Of restoring the feeder at the Great Falls,
$4,000; for the purpose Of constructing
dam No. /, at Little Falls, S200,000 for the
amount of costs of extraordinary repairs to
dams ! and 2, from the beginning of the
year 1873 to the Both day Of June, 1881,
which repairs were to have been made by
the United States, $12S,900."
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
SOUTH WASHINGTON.

There was large congregation OF the friends
OF the late Mrs. owen Fegan this morning at
st. Dominic's Church In attendance on the
funeral services. The deceased was widely
known I'm South Washington. Father Logan
celebrated the solemn requiem mass, Father
Horgan acting as deacon and Father Conuell
subdeacon. Very Rev. Father RlchtOrd
preached the funeral sermon. The pal-oear-
ers were Messrs. william Fegan, Maurice Flta'
gerald, Patrick Lynch, David Murphy, Thomas
Holden and Patrick Cullinane. The romllus,
followed by an extended line OF carriages, wero
taken TO Mt. Olivet.
Yesterday was an unusually quiet day for
the police In this precinct. Only three arrests
were made, all for profanity.
Mrs. Anderson and family, OF Seventh and j
streets southwest, who have for NUMBER OF
weeks been among the mountains In virgins,
have returned to the city. Miss Alice Wynne,
who accompanied them, has been much bene-
ntcd by tho trip.
An interesting meeting OF the Fifth Baptist
Church Home aud Foreign Missionary Society
was held yesterday afternoon at tue church.
The excursion to Chapel Point yesterday sig-
nslized tho close OF the season. The wharves
this morning wore look Of unusual quiet
aud absence OF stir.
The George Leary has left for Baltimore,
where she Will undergo come improvements.
The steamer Lady OF tho Lake brought au
excursion from Norfolk and Portsmouth this
morning numbering 100, on their way 10 La.
ray Cave.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
THE MODEL FAST LINE AND THE oNIy
LINE BETWEEN N"'
THE EASr AND TIIE WEST

VHE MODIL FAST LINE AND rnn nn,, :,
LINE BF1WEEN Ale oNLI
THE FAST a n N " MI nf ~ ,.,,,s,,
DOJIBIE I,IlACK T uN W. ,,o,r,,x
Steel, RnfTSih CUTLER
Schedule In effect SlJNDAx rrrrv, 49, So.
Until further notice 'oN1 10 1858.
Leave Washinrton from s,o,,o,
Jersev avenue and ~ stran, o"'tion corner OF New
For fbicaaSo s, u H. ,s ~, SVt. 49,.
daiiy nj ats ~ Lou,svi,ie and g. Louis
throuph coaches IND ~ 49, - m iV.Iy r. NJ with
above nonis' withont cbnnaS e 6SiieepinH Cars TO
Chicago except Satnrdav se' "'io A. NJ daily To
For Pittsh,rgL a. 4 "a A Ar 49,, -
daily & 40 p, Nj 10 Pi,tsSyrasiM Si nnd SO ~ M.
troll with SeepiHe Caps 10 pi,,sh vweihsna ana De-
An deily Y fna s hstro; via Monroeyle lol5
g. 90, NY WIZ Suetpef Tor Ioledo via Wbeol-
III hrn un i IN p s6iie ~ ~ ., A.
A. NJ deiIv eIcant Smn ,h a'u ~ Hew YORK atSlo
nj ana In N y NJ dn tIIu,f III; 1uO 7. M ana 15O T.
1nrs si,nc . ~ dly' win Parlor and Sleeping
~ ~ s ~ on wcek GAYS, 5OO, 0BO, go 800
NAV ivo2 a M liV 80, 400. 100. $50
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
AN INGENIOUS PLAN,
Hut It Will Scarcely work Well ia
Many Gases.

VIM. Fletcher aud Charles Watson, two
young colored men, were called up to tho
dockrail at Judge SHELLS Court this morn
ing to answer for ARRAY. Officer Holm
berger stated that they had public slug
ging match In tho "Division" last night &C.
.-eordiDg to no particular rules. There
seemed to DO no way of their getting out Of
paying the lowest penalty for an ARRAY, So
each. They adopted schome by which
they got off for $3.50 piece, which worked
like charm, and beat all the legal defenses
over advanced in case where two men
were caught in the act Of violating the law
Fletcher took all tho blame of the fight
by the technical and rather peculiar plea Of
corresponding with Watson" This was
explained by him to mean that he was
guilty. The other man had most of the
bruises and cuts.
His Honor probably thought that rs the
man who came out Of the fight in the best
condition admitted his guilt tho other was
innocent, and consequently released the
latter.
If they had both pleaded not guilty they
would undoubtedly have been fined s. each.
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
u. o, @. G. VISITATION.
An Enjoyable fraternai visit.

At the regular meeting of st. Johns Com
man1ery No. 80, U. o. G.. G., on Capitol
HILL, a fraternal visit was enjoyed from
members of Goodwill Commsndery No. 81
and Meridian No. 17S. Tho regular bust
ness Of the evening included the receipt of
tho order on the supreme treasurer for
$1,000, the amount of money due on the
death of Mrs. Lizzie j. Lott, who died a
few weeks since.
Remarks were made by Sir Knight VIM.
II. Pope, of The Critic; w. G. Perry, f.
Z. Woodward, A. Finnoy and Peter G. Til
ton. Musical selections were rendered, Mrs.
Allen presiding at tho organ. Brief ad-
dresses were also made by Sir Knights s.
A. II. McKim, James Burrows, I. Il. w.
Thompson, Ii. A. Dobson, Rev. p. A. Crist,
s. Mahoney, j. III. Searles and others. The
meeting was one Of unusual interest.
The Grand Commander of the U. o. G. c.,
A. G. Heylmun, has perfected arrange
ments for system Of periodical visits to
each of the subordinate Communicates, the
first of which will be made within few
weeks
The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-09-22
MR.. DUDLEY RESIGNS.
To Enter Into the Banking Bust
ness I'm This City.

Colonel w. w. Dudley, of Indiana, has
rendered his resignation as Commissioner
of Pensions 1t is to take effect November
10. The resignation was not unexpected.
1t has been contemplated for months by
Colonel Dudley. He leaves the public SCR
vice to enter the firm of A. Il. Bsteman &
Company of this city as resident partner.
Hewill, however, spend much of his time in
New York in connection with the banks
branch establishment in that city. He
wants to make more money than his salary
gives him. Colonel Dudley is familiar with
tho banking business, having been cashier
for years.
Ho has made many important changes in
the conduct of the pension business of tho
Government, number of them of great
Importance to the betterment of the SER
vice. He was appointed by President Gar
field to succeed Commissioner Bentley, who
was asked to resign. Colonel Dudley has
made an enviable reputation as public
servant.