Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-08-26
0ales aud Sketthes.
WANTED A WIFE.

Immediately followed By the entrance Of
the well dressed person of his college
friend. Methven.
Come along in said Hornby, land
light yourself pipe"
NO, thank We, can't stop" replied
Methyen. "as | have a lot to do this morn
ing: but thought would just run across
and tell you a bit OF news. / have just
arranged glorious hoax, at the expense.
need hardly say, of old Crofton, ne has
become too cute lately TO be caught by
our old time -honored jokes, and so have
arranged the following plan: A week
ago inserted in the agony column OF the
Morning Advertiser glowing matrimon-
ial advertisement. 10 which stated that
the advertiser, who was handsome, rich,
and all that sort of thing. desired TO meet
with pretty and accomplished girl with
a view Of matrimOny. All applicants
were TO send their photographs; the re-
plies to be sent to II. c.. No. Isl St. Giles,
. Oxford-that's the house where my scout
lives, and so Of course, told him TO bring
me any letters thus addressed. | got no
reply for day or so, but four days ago
received a letter from a certain damsel.
/ who described herselfas young handsome
and accomplished, inclosed me the photo
+ graph Of very pretty girl, ended By ask
/ ing me when and where | should meet
her in town, and signed herself Miss L.
/ Bernard, Piccadilly Circus Postofiice she
also expressed desire to have the adver-
/ Users photograph, so promptly sent her
/ that Of old CroftoD. which he had lately
given me, and said would write tonight
! when and where | should meet her; 50 nv
T AL IL r.. unrnabn,, ipIrca to
meet this girl she will of course recognize
/ him by the photograph | have sent, will
probably rush into his arms. the kangaroo
will be utterly overDowered, and there
will be an interesting den0uement. Now,
Hornby, don't you think that magnificent
piece of strategy ?"
NO, indeed | don't" said Horribly, Il
think it an internal shame: and what's
more. have half mind to 90 and tie II
the kangaroo OF the hoax"
"Oh come now" said Methven, you'd
never do that. Jack, | know. Well,
can't stay any longer. so good bye for the
present"
There is not the slightest doubt. that il
the tates had not interviewed, Horribly
would have gone straight to Crofton and
warned him Of the impending hoax, and
this story would never have been written;
but as it happened. no sooner had Meth
ven gone out of IIornby's rooms, than in
rushed the secretary OF the College
Cricket Club in a state of breathless
anxiety; there was match game at
| l.3O, it was now II O'Clock and he could
only get together eight men. So Horribly
was promptly enlisted, and by the time
the match was over, Methven and bis
scheme had entirely faded from his not
too retentlve memory. Methven. in the
meantime. had gone straight to Crofton's
rooms. Now, this Crofton, who was
about to tall a victim to Methven's wiles,
was the son of large Australian sheep
farmer and had come up to Brazenface
the previous October Like most colonists
who have not been to school in England,
he was very simple and unsophistcated;
and though the kangaroo, as he was gen.
orally called, was very popular. he was
constantly being made the victim of
small practical Jokes. most of which were
originated by Methven, who was the pro-
fessional hoaxer of Brazenface. He al
ways forgave them heartily, and Joined
in the laugh himself. However. his one
years residence in college had opened
his eyes little. and being naturally any
thing but a fool. his friends found it not
1 quite SO easy to take him in now as it used
! to be. and several attempts having failed,
Methven, to sustain his dwindling reputa-
( ton AS joker had concOcted the plan he
had just disclosed to Horribly. He found
the genial giant busily packing his traps
ready for going down the next day After
chatting a moment or two the tempter
began:
AS your going to town tomorrow.
want you to do me little favor
promised to meet girl, a cousin OF mine,
tomorrow. We had each got an order
from the House of Commons, and | was
to have escorted her. and rs we meant to
have little lunch together at Lucas be-
fore we went in. we had arranged to meet
ut guarter-past two at the Westminster
bridge landing pier, that being a place
where we couldn't possibly miss one an
other. Now. rs bad luck will have it. the
dean has sent for me to see him after collec-
tons, so that | can't get up to town in
time. Unfortunately, can't let the Girl
know. because. she's away on a visit for
a day or two to some friends. whose adj
dress have forgotten, and she won't re-
turn home until after she's been to the
House. Now don't want the poor child
to wait an hour tor me. so would YOU
mind going there quarter past two and
telling her | can't come. because of that
beaStly dean And so that you can't mis-
take her. I've hrough you her photograph.
By-the.bv, her names Miss Bernard. Now
will this be too much trouble for YOU %
"0h. not a bit" said Crofon,I shall
be delighted"
We'll. remember. Westminster land.
ing pier, at quarter past two! And now.
good by, and pleasant long to you"
Methven, highly elated with the result
of his scheme. Immediately wrote note
to Miss l.. Bernard that H. c. would meet
her at the Westminster bridge pier. at A
quarter past two. punctually, and that she
must come and speak to him if she saw
him first
The next morning Crofton. having I'M
dergone that dread ordeal called "collec-
tons, having been bullied alternately by
the principal. the dean and the senior
tutor. hurried off to the station and Just
managed to catch the midday express up
to town. On his arrival. leaving his traps
at hotel, he rushed off to Westminster
bridge landing pier and arrived there
within minute or two of the appointed
time. There were but few people on il
when he arrived. and certainly, no one re-
sembling in the slightest degree the phot-
I or,rapb af NJ Ma,brap,s co,s;r H.