davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
ocHILTREE,s soLILoaUY.


To crawl, or not to crawl-that is the question
Whether tits better in the long run to gulp down
The sIurs and insults Of the man called Bis
marck
Or to talk buncombe, adding to this peck OF
trouble,
And by blowing, buster! To sneak, to fawn,
To crouch-and by crouehing, to say will eat
our own words and the thousand taunts
That have been flung at us-tis consumma-
ton
Not likely to be wished. To crawl, 70 stoop!
To stoop? perchance to back down; aye there
the rub
For after the back down, what sights may come,
When we have gone home TO mend our fences,
Must make us pause. There's no respect
For q fellow that loses his backbone.
For who can bear 1he sneers and scorn OF men,
Your opponents ieer, an old man scurrllty
The words Of railery, your own dsmay,
The bouncing out Of office, and the kicks
That modest merit Of the great un~ashed taxes,
When he himself might his election gain
With base resolve?
Who wsud 20 TO Congress
To vote and run erTands for his DISTRICT
But for the hope OF some softer snap
The much sought foreign mission, from whose
bosom
No minister returns unless recalled,
This makes us rather take the pills we have,
Than fly to other doctors we know not OF.
Thus Bismarck hath made towards OF us all,
And thus the fitting fasker resolution
Is sickled DER with a taffy sort of rubbish
Thus resolutions Of much blood and thunder
In this respect, flash quickly in the pan
And fail by much objection.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
Oyster Fed Possums.
\. Y. Sun Dispatch.

1--WE have an occasional demand
for possums," said an old game
dealer to a reporter yesterday, but I
can't say they are greatly sought
after. They resemble cats too much
to agree WITH fastidious epicures,
though they make an excellent dish
when well cooked-that is to say,
when the animal is simmered down
with potatoes over 4 slow fire." and
the speaker closed his eyes and
sRacked his lips, as hel conjured up
the savory mess. .Oys ter-fed pos
sums have decidedly the sweetest
meat, and bring excellent prices, for
they are very scarce"
"Oyster-fedf'
Eyes, oyster-fed possums. We get
them from the Eastern Shore of
Maryland. would do your heart
good to see a possum tacKle-to an
oyster. This is the way it is done:
At low tide in the night, the animals
come down to the shore, and crawling
to the beds left dry by the receding
tide, select their oysters. A possum
who has been at the business for some
time goes at his work in very
methodical manner First he gets his
oyster in favorable position; then
lies down near it, and gently tickles
the shell with his tail. If the oyster
is sensitive and wellbehaved she'll
fish, and Maryland oysters generally
are. it will begin to open its shell
under the pleasant utilization. The
possum-like possum is not too hasty,
but dIscreetly continues the operation
until the oysters r.outh is agape with
pleasure Then, with a quick motion
of his paw, a surprised and shelless
oyster is landed plump on the shore.
Then the poSsum takes his meal
Yes, sir, the love of the possum for
the Maryland oyster is only exceeded
by the desire of the average divi-
sion worker to go on the police
force. "
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
A Terrible Time Approaching.
New York Tribune.

The period between 1880 and 1885
cannot fail to excite the liveliest in
terest with astronomers, as the four
great planets, Saturn, Neptune. Uran-
us and Jupiter, will then be in peri
helion for the first time in about
1900 years, and in consequence cf
this remarkable event it is believed
that the climatic conditions of the
earth will be disturbed and produce
alternate degrees of excessive heat,
cold, rains. floods, hurricanes and IA
tai epidemics. During the sixth and
sixteenth centuries of the christian era
three of the above planets were in per-
ihelion. and from that or some other
cause floods. hurricanes, earthquakes,
sickness and the plague extended over
the world and destroyed vast amounts
of life and property. In the sixth
century the plague broke out in the
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
HOW THE HOUSE LOOKS.
During IL Debate Upon an Important

"eAhuTes
am sitting in the gallery of the
United States House of Representa-
tives AS | jet down the following
notes (writes Washington CORES
pondont, under date of March 81
Pleuro- is being discussed
and this Forty eight Congress is act
ing as 1t usually does during the con-
sideration of an important measure.
II, at any time, the House should be
interested, it should be now. But
look at the picture in the hall. The
seats are vacant. Half of the re-
mainder arc filled with men in all
positions it which it is possible for a
man to sit, doing anything but pay
ing attention to the proceedings.
Some are smoking tobacco, and the
poisonous fumes rise upward to the
noStrils of the ladies in the galleries.
Others are chewing, and ut the side
of each members desk you see china
spittoons, more or less filthy with the
foul yellow stains, some of which
now and then show forth on the s. a
yard carpet en- which they stand. In
the Hobbies of the House Just back of
the seats, members are walking, ,loung-
ing and putting smoke. Some of
them here, as well as those in the
seats, are chattering, and a confused
hum comes up to the gallery, making
it impossible 10 hear the speakers UNI
less they strain their voices. The diff:
ferent positions in the seats would not
be tolerated in any respectable draw
ingroom. Many have their feet high
err than their heads. some are stretch
ed out in their chairs so that s plane
is made Of their bodies, and now and
then you may see member actually
sleep during such a discussion Many
of the members are writing letters just
now, quite a number are mailing
documents to their various constit.
uents, and several are peering behind
their newspapers at the ladies in the
galleries. There is no order preserved,
and the members have less regard for
the cleanliness of the chamber than
any pettifogging lawyer ever had for
his carpetless office. They tear up
papers in bits ana throw them on the
floor, so that each aisle at this time is
perfect litter of scraps of newspa
pers and letters.
Now the House rises. Two thirds
of the members have their hands in
their pockets, some still continue the
tearing of paper which they were
engaged at in their seats. some lean
on their desks, and others put one
foot on their chairs, while they stand
duck-like on the other.
Now division is called, and the
seuseless waste of time is made by
taking the vote by tellers. Two men
stand at the entrance of one of the
aisles just below Mr. Carlisle's desk,
and those in favor of the measure
pass in single file between them. They
go through for all the world like a
flock of sheep, and the members who
count them pat them on the back or
shake hands with them as they go.
Now those of negative go through in
the same way, and quarter of an
hour of valuable time is lost in what
could be done by system of electric
bells or buttons, as is done in the
Chamber of deputies at Paris in less
than a moment. As Lawrence Stern
says, They do these things better in
France
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
HURRY UP THOSE MULES.
How Gen. SedgwIck Revoked an
order and Astonished n Lieutenant.

One morning Gen. Sedgwick called
Lieut.. Clendennin, of his staff, who
was passing, and said:
Lieutenant, you have charge OF
the corps train to-day, l believer"
Eyes, sir"
Well, there is an order, as you are
aware, against trotting the mules
but today l think you may have to
disregard it a little. 1t is very
essential that you should keep the
train well,closed up and moving, even
if you have to trot little, but be
as merciful to the beasts as you can "
II will look to it, general" and
saluting, the train officer rode off to
spread the injunction through The
park.
The days march was hard one.
lasting we'll into the dark shade of
the evening. Just when it was be-
coming too dark to see distinctly,
orders were received to pack the train
across a small stream near Union
town, Fauquler county. The lieuten-
ant saw the head of the train in the
proper field, and rode back to the
bridge over the stream to hurry up
the laggards. AS each wagon
master came up Clendennin would
remark:
furry Cup those mules, there,
we're just going into park"
This state of things went on some
time until the lieutenant, growing
impatient at a particularly wide
break, yelled out
''Trot up those mules, there!'
''Walk those mules!" said a grave,
quiet voice from out of the darkness
on the side of the road.
Never you mind those males, !"
replied the lieutenant tartly, and
there was silence for a few moments,
except the noise Of the train, which
toilsd along until another break
showed itself and brought the COM
mand:
Hurry up those mules"
"Walk those mules" said the
quiet voice out of the darkness.
Don't bother yourself about those
mules, over there, if you don't want
to get into trouble" shouted the ex-
asperated Clendennin. Then another
hiatus occurred, and he yelled des-
perately:
Light out with those mules!"
"Walk those mules" said the cool,
monotonous voice from the deep
shades.
This was several degrees more than
the much tried lieutenantcould stand,
and he yelled out:
Look here, by thunder! | don't
know who you are, and l don't care
cuss; but | want you to understand
that I am Lieut.. Clendennin, acting
assistant quartermaster of the 9th
corps. My orders are from Maj. Gen.
SedgN *. aud if you don't let those
mules I'm id if I don't come
over there and punch your head"
"Ah, yes, lieutenant" the quiet
voice responded. ''My name is John
by courtesy called general,
and nv orders are from the president
of the United States, and if you don't
walk those mules I'm id if l don't
come over there and put you under
arrest"
walk those mules" yelled Glen
DENIM, as he disappeared in the dark
ness, followed by the hilarious shouts
If the whole staff, assembled under
.he trees. The general had forgotten
MS instructions of the morning.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
She Was Terribly Stupid.
Scissors.

Don't you think that Miss Ellis
is very bright young ladyf" asked
one fashionable miss of another.
mo indeed; on the contrary, l
think she is exceedingly stupid"
"Really3 Why, l thought she was
the most Intelligent person in my cir
Gle of acquaintance.
Il used to think SO, too" replied
the other young lady, "but last Sun
day was so unfortunate as to miss
church aud the chance of seeing the
new styles in spring bonnets, and
knowing that Miss Ellis had been
there l called ON her early that after
noon to find out something about
them, and, will you believe it, she did
not resember the style of any par
tIcular bonnet
Indeed -
Yes; | was surprised at her stu
pidity."
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

east, and sweeping over Africa, Asia
and Europe, destroyed, it is estimated,
100, DOC, 900 people. The city of Alex
andria lost 10000 inhabitants. In
Constantinople 1000 died per day dur
ing three months, and in and around
Rome during the same time 8, 900 died
per day. a large number of cities,
villages and provincesS in Eastern
Europe, Western Asia and Northern
Africa were almost depopulated, and
remained in that condition several
centuries. The people fed panic
stricken In every direction, and for
miles around these cities the dead
were left unburied, and thus filling
the air with pestilential odors added
additional horror to the scenes of dis
tress and misery. Ia the sixteenth
century the plague ravaged the world
again. Constanlnople lost 100000
people, and in and around Rome,
Naples and other cities of Italy, AGO.
600 died in five years.
Fifteen millions persisted in China
and 80, 600, 600 died in the countries
bordering on the Red, Black and Med
iterranean seas. Marseilles lost rs, :
600 inhabitants in SIX months, and in
and around London $50, 600 died in
three years, and in that city fires were
kept burning day and night long
time to purify the air, which seemed
vitiated several years. Ireland lost
300, 900 people, Paris 100, 900. Madrid
Il, 900, Alexandria 1000, and the to-
tai loss of life by the plague and
famine of Tho e,~toap+h oa,,f,,,, &c nc
ing calamlties were the result of three
planets in perihelion, what may be
anticipated from the four now APP
preaching perihelion? The theory en-
tertained is that the perihelion of the
four great planets will affect the sun
and the sun in turn will injuriously
affect the earth, and hence disastrous
consequences to life and property will
follow.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
HE Was Alreadr Confirmed.

Johnny, was you confirmed yester-
dayf' asked one youEgster of another
last Monday.
Nav" replied Johnny with a
snarl. Dad said t'want no USE
'sHe did, eh9 What did he mean9r
Why, he said / was a con firuned
idiot already and it wasn't right to
confirm a boy twice. Seer
aY-a-a-sr
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
Hardened IiYcr.

ney and liver Complaint and rheumatism.
Since then have been unable to be about
at all. My liver became hard like wood;
my limbs were pulled up and filed with
water. All the best physicians agreed
that nothing could cure me- l resolved
to try Hop Bitters; have used seven
bottles; the hardness has all gone from
my liver, the swelling from my limbs,
and it has worked miracle in my case,
otherwise l would have been now in my
grave J.W. MoGEY, Buffalo, Oct, l, 81
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

No one can be iii If the blood is pure. Yellow
Dock and SarSapara root have long been recog
nzed ny physicians as blood purifiers. Don't be
hunbugged by the advertisements of the many
quack b.tteIs, but occasionally use Dr. Guysotts
Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla, and you will live
- a good old age free from all distress of mind
and body. Many of our best citizens who long
suffered from bad blood indicated by weak kid
neys, indigestion, sores, aches, etc, owe their re-
cnverY to the use Of this remedy.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
Hard to Believe.

Sister said a little boy, rushing
into the parior, where she was enter
tanning Young Mr.. Smith, will you
come into the hall a minute7 l want
to speak to you"
II cannot now dear. Don't you see
that l am engaged with Mr. SMITH
What is it you wantl'
Jimmy White is out in the hall,
and he says he won't believe it unless
you tell him so yourself"
What is it Jimmy White won't
believe, dear,' asked the sister sweet
ly.
That you ate thirty five pancakes
this morning for breakfast.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
Pulmonary Consumption.

DEAR Sal received tbs trial bottle Of your
White Wine CT Tar Syrup, which you sent 10 my
address- My wife has been troubled with . lung
disease for more than eighteen years. and was
pronounced TO be last January In the last stages
If Pulmonary Consumption She commenced
zking your valuable medicine and received re-
ief at once. She has used three bottles since and
3 now using the fourth and Der health b better
than for many years We cheerfUily recommend
Il 20 all afflicted with any trouble OF The throat or
lungs We low get cur medicine through John
Potter, Cur merchant At this place.
Yours Respectfully, Rev j. b FLE
Brookifne Station, No. Srz4xE FLy-
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
InduIgencc and Excc,,c,.

Whether over eating or drinking an
made harmless by using Hop Bitters free
ly, giving elegant appetite and enjoyment
by using them before and removing all
dullneSs. pains and distress afterwards,
leaving the head clear, nerves steady, and
all the feelings buoyant, elastic and more
happy than before. The pleasing effects
Of Christian or sumptuous dinner con-
,inuing days afterwards
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

have been very much benefited by 50
cent bottle of Ely's Cream Balm When b.gan
using it my Catarrh was so bad had heaIache
the whole time and discharged a large amount OF
filthy matter That has almost entirely disap-
peared and 1 have not had headache since to
amount to anything Please send me two more
bottIeS-JOHN II SUMMERS StepneY. Conn
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
Would Only Marry Wien Drunk.
The Judge

A young Irisl couple presented
themselves one morning before the
priest for the purpose OF being united
10 the holy bonds of matrimony. OBJ
serving that the man was under the
influence of alcoholic stimulants, the
priest refused to perform the cere-
msny. The next day the same thing
occurred with the same result.
sWhy7D asked the priest, why do
you, a welLborr respectable girl,
come with a man IN such condi-
tionf-
oh your reverence, she sobbed,
she won't come when he's sober.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

When you visit leave New York city,
oagSase exgTesage ana carnage MI anS seo9
Central depot; $50 elegant rooms, fitted up at a
cost of one million dollars, reduced to 81 and up
taurant supplied with the nost Horse cars
stages ard elevated railroad to all depots. Fam
lilies can live better for less money at the Grand
Un.en Hotel than at any other first-cisss hotel In
The
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

Gen. Schramm the veteran French
general who has just died at the age
of 96. was good soldier, but poor
courtier. He was junior lieutenant
at the battle of Austerlitz, and it is
said that his promotion to every sue
cessive grade was attended with one
or more new wounds. 1t has often
been asked why he, after having been
a peer of France under Louis Philip
pc, did not became marchal under
the second empire at time when
Napoleon III delighted to honor mill
tary men who had served under his
uncle} 1t is said that the reason Of
this was that Schramm bad humiliat-
ed, in petty way in 1850, the future
emperor. The prince at that epoch
was DESTROYS of publicly displaying
his military science, OF which he was
very proud, so a sham battle was
decided upon. The battle took place
not far from Longchamps, General
Schramm being at the head of the
troops representing the enemy. The
old tactician, by skillful manmuvre,
turned aside the regiment commanded
by the prince president and captured
him and his entire staff. Louis Napo-
leon was greatly mortified, and he
never forgot that incident. Dating
from that day Gen Schramm was in
complete disgrace.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
A Splendid Dairy

is one that yields it, owner good profit through
the whole season. But he must supply the CO.'S
With what they need il order for then to Dc able
70 keep up their product Wh-D their hu.t-T gets
light IN color be must make il -gii, ed I'd BY US
ing Wells. Richardson & Cos. Improved butter
Color. II gives tie golden color Of June and
adds five cents per pound TO the value Of tbs
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
American Ara.

Photographs. EngravingS etc, can be exquisite
" colored with Liquid Art Colors made from Dis-
nsood Dyes Full directions for this beautiful art
work, with q handsome colored cabinet photo sent
70 any address for 10 cents WELLS & RICH.
AfsDSoN co, Burlington, VI
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

IT is truly wonderful to see how the name
of Mrs. Lydia Pinkham is household word
among the wives and mothers of our land Alike
the humble cabins of the remote frontier one
woman's deeds have borne their kindly fruit in
health for others.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18
PorcrtY md Suffering.

81 was dragged down with debt poverty and suffer
ing for years. caused by sick family and large bills foI
doctoring. / completely discouraged, until
year ago, by the advice OF my pastor, commenced
using Hop Bitters and in month were all vel.
and none OF us have q sick day since and want
to all poor .NCI keep your families well
year with Hop BtTerst Or less than doctors visit
will cost know Il A WoRKINGMAH.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

It's purpose is solely J,r the legitimate keaIiHg ~
disease and the relief OT pam and that az does all
i. claims to do thousands u iadeS gladly testify.
1t will cure entirely all Ovarian troubles, lraamma,
tian and Liberation. Falling and Dis lac, menis, and
consequent Spinal Weakness, and is pIrtu La ~ adapt
ed to the Change Of Life.
1t removes FaintnCss Fatulcncy DESTROYS all craving
for smul1ns, and relieves Weak mes; of the stomach
General Debility Sieepicssness. Depression add 1udi
Ssrtion. That feeling of bearing down, causing Jain
ai backache, Is always permanently cured by its use
Send stamp Ivnn Mass, for pamphlet. Letters of
inquiry confdentialy answered For sdisdt druggists
- y
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

The total value of breaastufs ex-
ported from all parts of the United
States for the eight months ending
March 1, was s110, 1855, $40. against
$40. 431, lab for the corresponding
time the previous wear.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

Rochester is excited over proposal
to build a new theatre which shall
lave two galleries and a seating
CAPACITY Of ], 400.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

The December gales or hurricanes
blew down the banana stalks in
British Honduras and ruined the
crop.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

It stands to reason that an oil that cannot be
made rancid. and one that has the greatest 50 J.
vent and penetrating powers, while free from all
irritating properties would make the finest hair
oil in the world. Such is Carbolne.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

California grapes, it is stated, sell in
Paris for so per cent. more than those
of native production.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

Forest preservation has attracted the
attention of the Connecticut Legisla-
ture, and legislation in conjunction
with other states is proposed.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

Cincinnati proudly points 10 the
fact that although 200 citizens were
killed or injured not single criminal
was hurt
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

During 1888 over 500 cows were
testes for butter that.produced over Il
pounds PER week.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

English beef, which is largely made
by feeding roots, is regarded as better
favored than the American.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

Prevent malarial attacks by invigorating the
ger with De Sanford's Liver Inyigorator.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1884-04-18

The newsboys IN Detroit are threat
ening to get up a riot. About two
weeks ago several little girls appear
ed on the street corners selling papers.
The boys laughed at them at first, but
when they discovered they sold more
papers and got bigger prices than even
the favorite boys, they changed their
tune. Threats were made against
them, but the factory boys took the
girls side, and promised TO clean out
the whole lot of newsies if they laid a
finger on the girls. The boys then
appealed to the proprietors of the
papers for protection, but found the
sympathy was all on the other side.
Now they have concluded the best
thing they can do is to get up a riot
and burn railroad bridge or some
thing that would be OF no use or in
jury to the girls Newsboys in Detroit
are licensed, and the city attorney has
decided that girl cannot be news
boy, consequently cannot get a license.
They are selling without any, and no
one has yet been found mean enough
to bring action against them.