The Mineral argus., 1884-07-24
WEDDING ETIQUETTE.
Social Requirements for the Evsnt-oblt-
cations OF Groom and Bride.

which bears fruit il our later and moTe
complex civilization, stall reminding us
of the past. In early and in savage
days the man sought his bride heroicly,
and carried her off by force. The Tar
tar still does this, and the idea only was
improved in patriarchal days by the
purchase of the bride, by the labor of
her husband, or by his wealth in focks
and herds. 1t is still a theory that the
bride is thus carried off. Always, there
fore, the idea has been cherished that the
bride is something carefully guarded,
and the groom is looked upon as a sort
of friendly enemy, who comes to take
away the much-prized object from her
loving and jealous family. Thus the
long-cherished theory bears fruit in the
English ceremonial, where the only car
rage furnished by the groom is the one
in which he drives the bride away to
the spending of the honey moon. Up
to that time he has no right Of proprie-
torship. Even this is not allowed in
America among fashionable people, the
brides father sending them in his own
carriage on the first stage of their jour
ney. 1t is not etiquette for the groom
TO furnish anything for his own we'd
ding but the ring and a bouquet for the
bride, presents for the bridesmaids and
and best man, and some token to the
ushers. He pays the clergyman.
He should not pay for the cards, the
carriages, the entertainment, or any
fhin4 oOnnaa4a1 it'll Al IL
This is decided in the high court of Ell
quette. This is che province of the
family of the bride, and should be in
sisted upon. If they are not able to do
this, there should be no wedding and
no cards. 1t is better for a portionless
girlto go to the alter i n atraveling dress,
and to send out no sort of Invitations or
wedding cards, than to allow the groom
to pay for them. This is not to the
d-isparagement of the rights of the groom.
Il is simply a proper and universal ETH
quette.
At the alter the groom, if he is a mil
lionaire, makes his wife his equal by say
ing: with all my worldly goods I
thee endow;" but until he has uttered
the words she has no claim on his purse
for clothes, or cards, of household fur
nishing, or anything but those articles
which come under the head of such gifts
as is a lovers privilege to give.
Suppose, as was the case twice last
winter, that an engagement of marriage
is broken after the cards are out? Who
is to repay the bridegroom if he has paid
for the cards? Should the father of
the bride send him a check? That
would be very insulting, yet a family
would feel ner vous about being under
pecuniary Indebtedness to a discarded
son-in-1aw. The lady can return her
ring and the gifts her lover has made
her; they have suffered no contact that
will injure them. But she could not
return shoes or gowns or bonnets.
1t is therefore wisely ordered by
etiquette that the lover be allowed to
pay for nothing that could not be re-
turned to him without loss, if the en-
gagement were dissolved, even on the
wedding morning.
Nothing is more honorable than a
marriage celebrated in the presence only
of the father, mother, and priest. The
young people, unwilling or unable to
have splendid dresses, equipages, cards
and ceremony, can always be married in
this way, and go to the senate or White
House afterward. They are not hamper
ed by it hereafter. But the bride should
not forget her dignity. She should
never let the groom pay for cards, or
for anything, unless it is the marriage
license, wherever it is needful in this
country, and the clergyman's fee. If
does she puts herself in a false posi-
ton.
1t is the privilege Of the bride to name
the wedding day, and of her father and
mother to pay for her tr~ousseau. After
wedding invitations are issued she
does Dot appear in public.
The members of the brides family 90
TO the church before the bride; the
bridegroom and his best man await
hem at the alter.
The bride comes last, with her father
or brother, who is to give her away.
She is joined at the alter steps by her
lance, who takes her hand, and then
'he becomes his for life. ,
All these trifies mean much, as anv !
me can learn who goes through with !
he painful details of divorce suit.
Now when the circle of friends on !
both sides is very extensive, it has of I
ate become customary to send invita- {
ions to some who are not called to the :
Wedding breakfast, to attend the cere- 4
nony at the church. This sometimes {
axes the place of issuing cards. No |
me thinks of calling on the newly mar 5
led who has not received either an in I
1tation to the ceremony at church or
ards after their establishment in their
home.
In most cases the after-cards are Or
with the other cards. and the Q