Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1884-06-18
Al. WOODSTOCK W.T., WEDNESDAY lS,B
She waited patiently, thinking MT.

7
while how proud Josiah would be of
his little wife, and how the whole city
would ring Nth her praises for having
outwitted u burglar. Presently she
heard the stealthy steps coming near
er, nearer and then a smothered ex.
lamation She just lay back in bed
nd laughed. He was done, for she
was sure What a pity she hadn't a
pistol; she could shoot him 50 easily
now, She listened Another step.
a bold burglar certainly. lie must
know she was alone. She ceased
Still another step. "Thun-
der and Mars" came in mufled tones
up the stairs and along the hall. Mer-
ciful heaycnl he was coming in.
Great Scott Jerusalem! Ten thou
sand furies! Sulphur and birthstone"
were waited to her ears in half smOth-
cred tones. She waited to hear no
more. She sprang from her bed, and
putting her mouth to the crack in the
door, called out:
ooh, please, Mr.. Burglar, do 60
away! Take anything you want;
there's plenty of silver down stairs,
and my watch and jewel-case are in the
cabinet with the silver trimmings.
Take them all; you are welcome to
them, indeed you are; and if there's
anything else down stairs--but please
don't kill me, Josiah would fee! 50 bad
and, and if you are going down be
careful not to hurt your feet"
But she was interrupted by terri,
ole howl of:
"Grca' guns, Martina, it's me. What
in thunder ails these stairs? Some
thing or other has cut my feet all to
pieces. Open the door, quick, can't
you. I'm bleed ng to DEATH Quick,
| say! Amt you got no sense, Let a
fellow stand here and lose his life
blood because you're afraid of some
fool burglar. want to see what the
thing is. hope l amt poisoned.
May be it's scorpion or tarantula,
Or-Or-'
ooh, no, Josiah, it's only the burglar
alarm. You see, /" began Mrs. Fill
lisy, throwing the door open, and letting
the light fail on Josiah, who stood
midway on the stairs, vainly endeavor-
ing to hold both feet in his hands at
once.
"Oh. oh! oh! Confound your OLD
burglar-alarm. What in creations
name is it anyway? It's killing me.
can't stand nor sit down, nor-nor
anything"
"Climb onto the bannister, Josiah, \
did"
"Climb onto the bannister, woman
And so you've been playin' circus
while | have been away. | thought
when l married you l had found 8
woman of discretion; but it seems
was mistaken. You're like all tie res
Sliding down the bannistcr, indeed
Now tell me what i'll this cOnfoundcd
nonsense MEANS" said Josiah, porchine
himself astride the bannister, and eye
ing his wife Indignantly.
"Oh, Josiah, indeed | haven't beer
playing circus at ALL" exclaimed Mrs
F, bursting into tears. "I-I-
was afraid, and SOIL invented ;
burglar alarm, and--and--I neve
dreamed of your coming home but
thought if burglar should get in, i
would prevent his getting up stairs
and --and--I guess it would AnC
she smiled ruefully upon the barbe,
points at her feet.
"Stars and gartels. Prophets an
conjurers! When will women cease t.
be fools?' and the representative of tn
worlds wisdom shifted unea'ily in hi
enforced position.
"Will you kindly tell me, oh, grea
inventor, how am | to get up thes
stairs? My stockings are aread
plastered with blood to my poor feet!
"Climb up the railing on the outside
like this" and she showed him, by OK
ample, how easily he could gain tn
npper landing! When once there, h
turned spitefully to his wife with TIL
words:
martha Ann Fillisy, yol are tn
biggest fool l ever sawl If you eve
invent another thing, I'll shut You II
in a lunatic asylum" "-Chicago Mtc'
Ocean.