The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-01-19


on the nosc!'
A Billlngsgate woman lost her speech
for month, and the rest of the family
each gained fifteen pounds iE weight.
Although the Quakors don't go much on
Christmas and New Year festivities, Phi
ladelphla does have busy season. says
the Philadelphia CaH:
4 Chestnut street liquor store proprietor
said: "Our busy season soon begins and
we must be prepared To meet the extra de-
mand. January Is our best month. In
about week from NOW wha: is technical
" known as the broken resolution trade
opens up"
\ Young ladv said to her beau,
pm glad the sneaus coming down 5eau,
Because now, kneau,
Wen aeieigh riding geaU,
So hail to the beautiful sneaun
The youth shook his head, and he sighed,
'I'm sorry" he sadly rcpIigheG,
II can't hire a sleigh,
For I'm dead broke to deigh,
And the pleasure to us IS denighcd"
In Rochester, MINI, the ladies made the
New Years calls. Sixteen gentlemen re
ceived ia the pariors Of Cooks hotel, The
Young Ladies' Cooking club made calls
IN a body. The gentlemen wore badges
with the legend, "Bsrk,s IS wiIlin'.'
1t was Philadelphian who. a few
nights after the late January freeze,
touched the improved electric bell which
communicated with HIS marble iloored
stables, and issued this order to his coach
man, at the same time handing him a $500
bill:
"John, you drive down town and get a
basket Of peaches, ana the balance OF the
money in strawberries; and on your way
back stop at Mr.. Wcalthymans residence
and say to that gentleman that he can de-
pend upon having his water pipes attended
10 not later than 10 O'clock Tomorrow
morning,
An aged man, dressed IN military
clothes, visited western town recently,
and registered at 2 hotel as "Wll!iam r.
Sherman, late /. S. A. His real name
was Smith, but he had kissed all the pref
~ girls in town before the tgauC wss eX-
posed.-NorristoWn Kera!5,
A Chicago paper mentions the slaughter
the other day at one Of The packing estab-
lishments Of that city OF q hog weighing
1910 pounds. While that may be the
biggest hog ever killed IN Chicago, big.
ger hogs may be seen any dsr alive ca her
board Of trade
n malicious Chicago paper undertakes
10 nip John a, LOgan's presidential aspira.
lions by declaring ;hat the people, and es
pecially the Republicans, want a man of
culture in the White House" Just So.
A gentleman who Will set the style IN
trousers and cGayats; who viii rlgiGly OBJ.
serve European rules in TIE matter of state
dinners; will establish Republican
Court; separate his hair on the equatorial
line and affect literature and fine ar,s.
Well, John isn't much in that way, but
whoever heard him speak must admit that
he is tremendous as o man OF tnpp
ALwArs GETS THERE
Who is tina: little woman there,
With laughing eyes and dark. brown hair
Anu PuJsiVsuomg 81 idlI
Ny wife.
Who's not as meek as she appears,
And doesn't believe one half she hears,
And towards me entertains 10 fears?
Ny coasort.
Who wakes the up Oh every morning,
About the time the Gay Is dawning,
Ny protestations calmly scorniug?
Ny spouse.
Who marks my clothes with India ink,
And darns my stockings quick as wink,
While sit by and smoke and think?
Ny frau.
Who asks me every dag Tor noneT,
With cOuntenaBce demure and funny,
and calls me ''pretty boy" and honey"
Ny little woman.
Who runs the house both night and day,
And over all exerss her sway;
Who's boss of this shanty, anyway
My better half