Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1884-04-08
Who Wouldn't Be a Farmer.

1t is very refreshing for one that has
spent his life in the country, to read the
poetic effusions of urban writer's on the in
dependence and delights of rural life and
scenery. AS we have spent useful and
happy life amid rustic and picturesque
scenery, we may be pardoned If we attempt
to give pencil portrait of the novelist's
ideal-a home in the country. We may
possibly get the poetical and the practical
mixed, but we shall cling to the truth like
the old man of the mountain to Sinbad the
Sailor.
How delightful in early spring-time to
loiter beside the purling brooklet and gath
er daisies and forget-me- nots! How pleasant
to watch the playful lampkins in the mead
ow. and have the heaviDg bosom of your
trousers butted up to the back of your
neck by the father-in-law of the lampkins9
How merily the robin sings it's mathis, and
the whipporwill echoes its vespers here in
the grove! How joyful the shout of the
rosy-cheeked pillow boy, as he sits down to
scratch his sore shin and put an umbrella
cover on his nailless toe! What ripping
peals of laughter are heard from the farm
er's daughter, when her ham, coloIed beau
falls over COW in attempting to kiss her
under her corn-silk bangs! How gently
the soft zephyrs move the tiny leaflets, as
if by angel hands, while the house dog
crowns the cat, as she explores the contents
OF the cream-jar!
The oriole MARBLES its happy songs of
praise, and the humming- bird sips natures
nectar from the golden cups of the honey
suckle! All earth and air and sky are
hushed and calm, and there is no sound to
disturb the farmer as he hunts for hot
headed bumble-bee in the left leg Of his
trousers!
Happy indeed is he who possesses so
many noble animals The great plow-
horse, in the majestic pride of his strength,
with his tail over the line, and tramping
down one row of corn and blowing up an
another, is the farmers pet; while the
brindle bull in the orchard, which gored
tie farmers wife to death, still wears
corset on his horns and her hoopskirt on
his shaggy neck.
And then on the beautiful Sabbath
morning, the happy farmer, with piety in
his heart and dog-leg tobacco in his pocket,
starts to the quiet house of God with his
family in an old lumber wagon to pour forth
r,,.-1:1e and tobacco juice! He sits on the
spring seat and drives like Jehu, while the
boys sit fiat down in the wagon.
Yes, dear reader, the country is the place
for health and wealth. In the country you
will not find the kid gloved dude in immac-
Mate cuffs and Sustained simpering soul
No, nothing but innocence will be found.
You will find instead the SUM- Drowned hero
of the poet fancy, who wears No. 10 boots
beneath No. hat, and fastens his collar
to his waistband to keep it from jumping
over his head when he sneezes. He thinks
he is a dude when he gets his yellow dog
skin gloves slipped over the warts ON his
hands, and they fit like circus tent would
fit camel. He is not dude, but an aleclz,
and he smells like lanyard stretched over
q clothes-line.
Such are few of the beauties of agri-
cultural life! Who wouldn't be farmer?
Norman (Il.) Independent
SAVING THE ROAD WAsH.-Every road
not on dead level has more or less debris
which has fertilizing value washed off
upon its side. The water itselfis valuable,
and will make grass wherever it spreads.
In a hllly country or one of gentle grades,
nearly all this water, and the fertilizing
matter it carries, may be turned off at fire. |
quent intervals upon the adjoining pastures
and meadows. The dirt and debris of the |
highway consists of finely pulverized sol |
and stone, which contains more or less |
lime, potash, and other valuable material |
80 lHinulely ulViueu InaC water makes 1t |
Immediately available for plant food Iron
and steel tires, horse and OK shoes, and |
above all the frost, have been at work upon |
it all Though the winter. Appreciate
quantities of manure have been dropped |
upon iU by beasts of burden, and their feet |
have mixed it with the road dust, and |
made nice compost. It's value is seen in
the rank growth of grass and briars wher-
ever it lodges. 1t will pay big wages for
all the labor needed to turn tn wash off,
through culverts or an open ditch, on to
the adjoining pastures and moving land.