Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-12-20
Saturday Smiles.

Two Englishmen met in mid-ocean on the
deck OF a steamer. One asked Going across?"
Yes; are you?'' and there the conversation
ended.-Boston Saturday Evening Gazette.
The wife of a celebrated English poet. lately
on visit to Boston. in the course Of a CONVEX
ton with lady. remarked: II am SO glad to
get to America at last. for now | shall have the
long wished for pleasure of tasting canvas
backed clam. boston Advertiser.
1t is easier for woman to return kindness
than unprecedented preserve kettle.
The postmaster at Chaco. Texas, has been
killed by Mexicans. We predicted that the post
masters would have to go if Cleveland was
elected.-Nor7-istO,cn Herald.
Fat man (who is something in hurry)-"Ill
give you S5 to get me to the station in three
minutes" Cabman with provoking slowness)-
wen, sorr. you might corrupt me, but you
can't bride that horse. "-Hdrrard Lanpoo,s
Mr.. Cleveland should paste I'D the official re.
turns for future reference. There were 4,913,-
9O1 votes cast for him, and if any more than
that number OF voters apply for an Office he will
know that some hungry members of the oppo-
sitiOn are trying to ring in" on him. CHICAGO
Times
Mrs Bridget Farley, of stratford. Conn. who
Is over 104 years old, recently visited a
neighboring town on shopping tour" There
is probably no other object under the sun that
would induce woman of that age to venture
so far from home Nothing but death will pre-
vent woman from going shopping Norris
torn Herald.
Most people will approve of the sugrestion
contained In the following rhyme:
It is but step-oh
Down to the dep-oh.
The way Is quite Steep-oh
That leads TO the deep-oh.
slipped on grape-oh
just by the day-poh.
In store near the dee-pot
bought this small teapot
Perhaps. TO end the agitation
Wed better henceforth call 1t station.
"Oh, think 1t must be 80 nice to be connected
with newspaper" said Miss McFlynn to Young
Qulldriver, as they sat together one evening
Yes, it is $3.50" he replied. But why do YOU
think 1t is'" why. 1t has so many advantages.
! should think you would glory In the freedom.
the power, the liberty and all the privileges OF
the press" Certainly, do. lisa pity, with
all your enthusiasm on the subject, that you are
not Journalist" 81 think SO, too but YOU
know it is hard for woman to get recognition
| should be delighted to feel that the press EN-.
braeed me-" ''Oh, you would would youi
Great Scott. wait till turn down the gas
Philadelphia Press
DO you have good drinking water here?"
asked a stranger in Kentucky Guess it's pretty
good, replied q native, never seems to hurt
the horses nor cattle. Philadelphia Record.
Among the new colors in female dress. as We
learn from fashion paper, are fumee de 6ois and
Rouge Tdnglant We have often wondered why
the manufacturers of ladies' dress goods didnt
| Introduce these colors--especaiy ftsmee de bois
1t is perfectly lovely"-but we are not quite
sure whether it is blue or red or a gray. but
think it is.-Norristo,rn Herald
They have some tall men down In southern
Kentucky. Cincinnatian, riding along the
road with native. looking over upon an ad.
| Joining enclosure. remarked: II observe, from
those beds. that you raise your own celery II
this region" Celery exclaimed his com
| panion why. them's not celery beds; that's
our new graveyard. Philadelphia Press
Yes" said the captious man, IL enjoyed the
congregational singing at your church i'm
mensely. There was none of that savish uni.
| formity which is so monotonous you know. but
on the contrary, most charming diversity Of
time and tune was much impressed by 1t. >
| This was high praise, but nobody seemed te
| appreciate it.-Boston Transcript