davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Josh Billings says Artemus Ward
left his mother 100000 in his will.
when he hadn't sixty cents to his name.
William Tynda1e. the first trans.
iator Of the Bible from the original
Hebrew and Greek, is to have monu-
ment on the bank Of the Thames.
Ex-Governor w. 3. Washburn has
given $4,000 to the Literary Associa-
ton of Greenfield, Mass, the income To
be used solely in buying books.-Bosso"
Journal.
-Colopel John H. Stevens, the agri-
cultural editor of the Minnesota Tribune.
settled in Minneapolis twenty eight
years ago, and was the first actual set
tier there. The city's population is
now estimated at 100000.
james Madison. aged twelve. and
from Virginia, is House page at Wash
ington. He is a great-grandnephew Of
the fourth President of the United
States, and has set his heart on being
lawyer. WASHINGTON Star.
Wendell Phillips chief source OF
grief before his death was the leaving
| of his wife. She had been an invalid
for many years, was, in fact, one before
her marriage, and he had watched over
her with the tenderest solicitude. -Bos-
ton Transcript.
One of the first young ladies from
New Eng land who responded to the
call of the Government for volunteers
to 90 to Charleston, S. c., and teach
contrabands, after the war. Miss Oc-
tavia c. Page. a teacher in the Taunton
public schools, has lately died.
M. NJ. Ballou. the author of the re-
Gently published book, due West, u
Round the World in Ten Months. was
the originator of the Boston Globe. He
is one Of the oldest journalists in Bos-
ton, having been publisher of paper
there more than forty years ago.--M 7.
Post.
II. Thomas Fortune, the colOred
editor of the New York Globe, the only
newspaper in the world devoted to the
interests of the colore1 race, is about
thirty-five years old, six feet high; has
thin oval face, Roman nose, thin lips,
and his entire physiognomy. barring
the color, is that of the Caucasian race.
-''Of course l will not sing unless
get my money says Nine. Patti;
'.yOu have no idea how much better
do when l know the money is in my
pocket. Alhoni taught me that years
ago. Child said Aiboni, never sing
unless you are sure of your pay
have followed Alboni's advice. and
really believe my success has been large
ly due to my habit of insisting upon
payment of my services after the first
act of the opera l am sing.ng.''-Gi-
cQ0O Journal.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20
HUMOROUS.

We have hea: q within day or two
of some very aged people who are cut
ting their teeth. That's nothing Won
derful. Babies can do it.-Boston Star.
They say that in Texas hats are
worn over the ears. Come to think OF
it, that is the style in Pennsylvania, too,
Shoes are worn under the ears, however.
-NorristoTn Herald.
-Monosylla3ic: Two tramps met on
the ghway. One was evidently lame.
The following conversation ensued:
"Lame?" Eyes" "Dog?" mo"
sBoot?" "Yes. " Y. JOurnQI.
"A sewing agent was re.
Gently attacked by fierce catamount
near Milford. Strange as it may appear,
the catamount escaped without buying
one of the machines. Phiicde' phia
CaU.
-Encou aging: Arthur Dovely (pre-
senting his girl a plate and fifty cards on
her birthday After you have used
the cards you can have some more
struck Of. The plate ought TO last you
all your li|er'-Lye.
Your mother-in-law appears to
have pain in her side?'' ''Not at all.
She has toothache.' "But every now
and then see her put her hand on her
side, as though she felt pain there. "
That is because she put her teeth in
her pocket Exchange.
- Mr.. Dune was making AN evening
call, and Bobby. who was allowed to sit
up a little later than usual, put to him
the following question: ''Mr. Dumley,
do YOU want TO make five dollars in ten
mnutes?' ''Do / want to make five
dollars in ten m.nutes?' laughed the
young man. Certainly 1 do. But
how can l make five dollars in ten
minutes, Pobby?' Mamma will give
it to you. She told papa that she would
give five dollars to see you hold your
tongue for ten minutes. ''-Boston Post.
One of the latest stories is of trav-
eler who found it necessary to excuse
his inability to JON in the hiliarity of
other travellers because of his poverty.
Gentlemen he said, II know l am
much Of saturated blanket on this
party, but the fact is l am very poor
man-steeped to the lips in impecuni-
osity. When l tell You in strict conf
dence that this is nv wedding tour, and
| have been compelled to leave my wife
at home, you can form an idea of the
narrowness of my resources Chicago
Times.
Some anonymous malefactor sends
the following: ''Recipe for an evening
party: lake all the ladies and gentle
men you can get, put them into room
with small fire, and stew them well;
have ready twelve packs of cards,
piano, a handful of prints and draw
iDgs, and throw them in front from time
to time; as the mixture thickens, sweet
en- with politeness and season with wit
if you have any, if not, fattery will do
as well and is very cheap; when all have
stewed FOR an hour add ices, jellies,
cakes, lemonade and coffee. ''-DetroI
Post
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20

1.-TWO little shoes were found frozen in tho
ap OF one OF the dead OF the Inflated City OF
UOlumbus"l
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20

! 1t looked like water. only it was .
little green, and when it stopped rum
ming into the hottie we took the light
ming downstairs 10 t=y it. l gave a lit
tie of it to the cat to drink, but it didn' t
her bit, and she just purred. At last
| Tom said he didn't believe it would
hurt anything: SO he tasted some of it,
but it didn't hurt him at all.
| The trouble was that the lightning
was too weak to do any harm. The
thunder-shower had been such little
one that it didn't have any strong light
ming in it; so we threw away what was
in the bottle, and agreed to try to get
some good strong lightning whenever
we could get chance.
1t didn't rain for long time after
that. and nearly forgot all about
Franklin and lightning, until one day 1
heard Mr.. Travers read in the news
paper about man who was found lying
dead on the road with bottle of Jersey
lightning, and that, of course, explains
what was the matter with him, my dear
Susan. understood more about it
than Susan did, for she does not know
anything about Franklin being girl,
though l will admit it isn't her fault.
You see, the cork must have come out
of the mans bottle, and the lightning
had leaked out and burned him to
death
The very next day we had a tremen-
dous thunder-shower, and 1 told Tom
that now was the time to get some
lightning that would be stronger than
anything they could make in New Jer-
sey. So we got the kite up, and got
ourselves soaked through with water.
We tied it to the window-ledge just as
we did the first time, and put the end of
the string in tin pail so that we could
collect more lightning than one bottle
would hold. 1t was so cold standing by
the window in our wet clothes that we
thought we'd 60 to my room and
change them.
All at once there was the most awful
fash of lightning and the most tremen-
dous clap of thunder that was ever
heard. Father and mother and Sue
were downstairs, and they rushed up
stairs crying the darling boy is killed.
They meant me. But l wasn't killed,
neither was Tom, and we hurried into
the room where we were collecting
lightning to see what was the matter.
There we found the tin pail knocked
into splinters and the lightning spilled
all over the floor. 1t had set fire to the
carpet. and burned hole right through
the floor into the kitchen, and pretty
much broke up the whole kitchen stove.
Father cut the kite string and let the
kite go, and told me that it was as
much as my life was worth to send up
kite in thunderstorm. You see so
much lightning will come down the
string that it will kill anybody that
stands near it. / know this is true, be-
cause father says SO, but I'd like to
know how Franklin managed. forgot
to say that father wasn't a bit pleased.
Jimmy Bro nm, in Harper's Young
People.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20
Lightning.

Mr.. Franklin was one of the greatest
men that ever lived. He could carry a
loaf of bread in each hand and eat
another, all at the same time, and he
could invent anything that anybody
wanted, without hurting himself or cut
ting his fingers. His greatest invention
was lightning, and he invented it with
a kite. He made kite with sticks
made out of telegraph wire, and sent it
up in thunderstorm till it reached
where the lightning is. The lightning
ran down the string, and Franklin col
lected it in bottle, and sold it for ever
SO much money. So he got very rich
after a while, and could buy the most
beautiful and expensive kites that any
fellow ever had.
l read about Mr.. Franklin in a book
that father gave me. He said I was
reading too many stories. and just you
take this book and read it through
carefully and hope it will do you some
good anyway it will keep you out of
mischief.
l thought that it would please father
if l should get some lightning just as
Franklin did. l told Tom McGinnis
about it, and he said he would help if l
would give him half of all 1 made by
selling the lightning. I wouldn't do
this of course, but finally Tom said he'd
help me anyhow, and trust me to pay
him fair price; so we went to work.
We made q tremendously big kite,
and the first time there came q thunder
storm we put it up; but the paper got
wet. and it came down before it got up
to the lightning. So we made another
and covered # with white cloth that
used to be one of Mrs. McGinnis's
sheets, only Tom said he knew she
didn't want it any more.
We sent up this kite the next time
there was thunderstorm, and tied the
string to the second-story window
where the blinds hook on, and let the
end of the string hang down into bot
tie. It only Numbered once or twice.
but the lightning ran down the string
pretty lest and filed the bottle halt tull
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20
Rough Diamonds.

Diamonds are known to jewelers. and
the wealthy as the most valuable and
beautiful of the precious stones. They
outrank gold and silver, pearls and ru-
bies. They are valued not only for
their variety, but for their wonderful
brilliancy and the manyslses to which
they are adapted. They are the gems
which glistcn in the coronets of kings
and queens, and add luster to the
charms Of buoyant and vivacious
beauty. They are most intrinsically
valuable because they out-last and out
shine all other specimens of material
! wealth. A man might carry a diamond
fortune in his vest pocket and never
be suspected OF having dollar. But
why should an editor, who rarely ever
saw a diamond, much less possess one,
endeavor to enlighten his readers on
their merits? And yet, in his presump-
ton, this man of supposed brains often
launches forth upon strange themes be-
cause men in general look to him as a
hired thinker, and tolerably we'll in
formed upon all subjects. If not, he
ought to be. Therefore he must often
resort to metaphor to ''point moral
and adorn tale" He must be thor
oughly posted in monetary values,
though his chances of possessing any
great amount of ''filthy lucre" are very
slim. His op Mons on on dts of society
gossip are expected to be oracular,
though perchance he may 60 little INTO
society except for the uses it can make
of him. There are people in the world
who may be compared to diamonds in
the rough. They have all the attributes
of soul which should entitle them to
shine stars of the first magnitude in the
social circle, ard yet owing to timidity
or a want of polish they never give sny
light. and they die perhaps leaving
the world in ignorance of their many
noble and valuable qualities. They are
like the gems and flowers in Gray's
elegy-hid away, in dark, unfathomed
caves, or born to "waste their sweet
ness on the desert air." These rough
diamonds are doubtless more numerous
than the world is wont to suppose.
Men are too apt to look to the ''pomp
and circumstance of glorious war; or
among creatures of high opportunities
and magnificent surroundings for things
valuable and grand in nature and char
acter. Thong n time and circumstances
often develop great characters, yet true
manhood and womanhood are often
disguised under cloak of Overweening
modesty, and dispositions which shun
public notorieiy. and shrink from the
vanity and emptiness of human APP
plause Yet the diamond is none the
less diamond in its rough estate, nor
are human characters less entitled to
homage, because their glare has never
become apparent to the unsuspecting
and unappreciative eye. But as polish
is everything to the diamond, we might
draw the lesson that friction and polish
are necessary to develop the brightest
and most beautiful gems of human
character. Columbus (Gd.J Enquirer.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20

"A canine at Bridgeport, Conn.,, has
learned the art of skating. The skates
are made of celluloid, quite light, and
small enough to fit the dogs foot.
After they are adjusted by its master,
the dog starts out with different move
ments. until signal is given. when he
rises and skates on his hind legs. Civ
ing the Dutch roll and other moee-
ments with quite a waggish air. After
ward he drops upon his fore legs ard
skates with his back ones elevated =
Hartford Post.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20
TWO LITTLE SHOES.


Two little shoes were found frozen in tn
p of one OF the dead OF the Inflated City o
Two little shoes-naught elsel
Her form lay cod in death!
Relentless, wof1sh waves
Had clutrhed her parting BREATH
Alas! for those wee feet:
No mother hand snail press
Their snowy dimpled shapes again
In love and tende ness!
Two little shocs--as IL
In that dread moment there
The M Their heart had c,ung
To these in NUT, despair!
As il her latest thought
Unto her babe were given,
Ere FIR M will wreck and agony
The soul had sped to Heaven!
Two little shoes that speak
As angels speak above
A mothers emile hone,
A mother bouniess love!
Hope, love, that earthv i'll
Can Quench not, ne Their blight:
Tender, enduring precio :, sweet
Yet deaihiess IN its mi ut.
-GcOrJc Cooper, IN IGlouin's Monthly.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20

Why do people talk about "bitter
tears" Doubtless it is a matter Of
taste, but they are salt.-Bostom Folio.
A photographic specialist got mad with
his wife and bit her. She cried; hence
the talk about bitter tears.-Hortford
journal,
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20

"A gentleman met an uncertain &C
quaintance, who said: I'm little
short, and should like to ask you .
conundrum in mental arithmetic. -
Proceed replied the gentleman.
''Wen, !" said the short man, suppose
you had f10 in your pocket and ]
should ask you for Is, how much
would remain?' Ten pounds, )" wac
the prompt reply.
Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1884-03-20

Rev. Edward Selkirk has retired
from the rectorship of Trinity Protestant
Episcopal Church, Albany, after hold
ing it for forty years. 1t was his first,
last, and only charge, and he willspend
the remainder of his life - rector
emeritus Of the parish. albany jour.
nak
National Republican., 1884-06-11

amply sufficient for that purpose. The motion
was lost,
large number of amendments were offered,
Dut were voted down.
On motion of Mr.. Holman, the clause making
m appropriation for the improvement OF the Little
kanawha river was stricken from the bill.
Mr. Caldwell offered an amendment increasing
from $4,000 to 100000 the appropriation for the
improvement OF the Cumberland river in Tennes-
see and Kentucky. Lost.
Without further action the committee rose.
DISTRICT APPROPRIATION,
The senate amendments to the District Of Co
lumbia appropriation bill were nOn-couCurred in.
FIXING THE FINAL ADJOURNMENT.
Mr.. Morrison, chairman of the committee on
ways and means, reported concurrent resolution
providing for the final adjournment Of congress on
Monday, Both OF June, at y. III. Adopted with
out division.
THE RED LAKE RESERVATION.
When the house met in the evening II resumed
the consideration of the bill reported by the COM
mittee on Indian affairs, directing the secretary
OF the interior TO obtain from the Red Lake Chip-
pewa Indians relinqushment of all their title TO
the Red Lake reservation In Minnesota, and TO
compensate tho Indians therefor ot the rate OF
Sl.25 an acre. The bill further provides that the
pine lands on the reservation may be occupied by
Indians. The residue, about 100000 acres, is 10
be disposed of under the homestead aud pre-emp-
tion laws.
opposed the bill, the latter declaring Il to be an
outrage upon the indians in point of justice and
humanity.
Mr. Beiford, in advocating the bill. gave his
views upon the general Ind fan question. lie rid.
iculed the New England sentimentalism toward
the Indians, and characterized the race as idle
savages They should be put out of the pathway
OF American commerce. They were no good, and
mis- sentimentalism was of no account i'll the SO.
lution OF this great problem. Let them be put
where they would not impede American progress.
Mr.. Nelson represented the desire of the people
OF his state to open the lands to settlement.
without action the house Mt 1920 adjourned.
National Republican., 1884-06-11
SOLDIERS REUNIONS.

Adverse Reports as to LoRning Army
Tents and Arms for the Purpose.
In the senate yesterday Mr.. Cockrell re-
ported adversely from the committee on mill
targ AFFAIRS and recommended tho indefinite
postponement of joint resolution which
originated in the house, and was favorably
reported upon by the military affairs COM
mittee of that body in March last, providing
for the granting of the use Of cannon, tents
and muskets to ex-unon soldiers and state
military organizat ions for reunion purposes.
Accompanying the report are copies of letters
received by Senator Cockrell through the
war department, from tho chief of ordnance
and the quartermaster general, in respone to
n communication sent to the secretary of war
by him asking for information as to the
various depots where field artillery, tents
and muskets are on hand, and the probable
loss to the government If such articles were
loaned for tho purposes named.
The quartermaster general reports that
there are no army tents on hand that can be
spared. He says that the tents now made for
the army ore designed entirely 90 meet
specific demands of tho service and are man
ufactured at the expense Of an appropriation
for providing clothing, cam and garrison
equipment for the army, and cannot be di-
verted to any other use without without vio-
lating the law Of that appropriation. He
says that 1t is a mistake to suppose that the
department has stock of tents in depots that
those left over from tho war have become
worn out or lost the service; that there are
no funds with which to replace them, and the
bread and meat of the army might us we'll be
taken as its means of shelter He suggests
that if it be desired that the department. fur
nish tents for use outside the army, q specific
appropriation be made for the purpose.
The chief of ordnance reports that there
are no condemned cannon or carriages on
hand, and that serviceable cannon could not
be issued. There are, he says, plenty Of muz-
zle-loading muskets that can be supplied for
reunions, if necessary.
In the report Of the committee it is stated
that to supply tents rs provided for in the
resolution would require an appropriation of
at least $4,000, and the tents 80 furnished
would only last few years. The committee
also express tho opinion that the senate bill
pending in the house to increase the annual
appropriation for the purchase of arms, &C..
for the militia of the several states and terri
tories, will modify and extend the provisions
of the present law in regard to furnishing
arms and equipments to the several states,
by tho general government as far as is wise
or polite, and that under that bill if it become
law the states can supply reunions within
their respective limits. The committee say
further that it would be source of confusion
and would eventually result in loss to the
United States, If the government were to
embark III the business of loaning cannon,
tents, and muskets to any and all reunions,
encampments, and state militsry organiza-
tiOnS
National Republican., 1884-06-11
THE HOUSE.

Tho river and barbOr appropriation bill was
further Considered by the house yesterday.
Mr.. ochltree moved to strike out the clause ~ :
prOpriating S25O,00O for continuing the improve
ment of Galveston harbor
Mr.. Willis, Of Kentucky, said that after the bill
had been reported 10 the house the request had
been made on the part of the Texas delegation
that the appropriation be stricken out, with the
expectation that the bill known as the Eads bin
would be pressed. The committee did not Assem- I
to tins action, but thought IL best for Galveston
that the apprOp ration should remain even n a
were alter ward determined TO adopt the Eads
plan.
Mr.. Ochilree said that, as one of the representa-
tives from Texas he had been requested by It's
legislature, and us the representative Of Galveston
lie had been requested By nine-tcnths OF its IN /.
habitanls TO have this item stricken ont The
people there thought that the plan of the govern
nenl engineers was radically wrong, and favored
the Eads plan,
In the last twelve years more than 81 500 600
had been absolutely wasted under the preseut
plan in an attempt to deepen the water on the
Ouler bar of Galveston. For the last twelve years
the people Ofthat city had been entertained with
tropical fertility of promise and Sahara sterllily
of performance by the government engineers
Mr.. Kelley, OF Pennsylvanln, expressed his con-
tidence in the declarations Of the engineer corps
Progress had been made, even though at the slow
rate TO which congressional appropriations con-
for S. 900 0J0t mi ht take Sl5 600 0O0 aud he was
not sure that congress would do any better in IT.
way appropriations for il than 1t had done for
lHt HCHolle Ol lne cHglnttIn.
Mr.. WoltOrd, of Kentucky, thought that tho re-
quest of the Texas delegation should be complied
with, and that the money thus saved should be
appropriated for the improvement ofthe Cumber.
land river
The motion to strike ont was agreed to.
Mr., Beltord, Of Colorado offered an amendment
nppropriating 100000 for tho construction of
canal from Fort Collins to the Platte river, Col.
oradl. Ruled out on point of order.
Mr.. Hewitt, OF New York, moved to increase
from s3GOOOJ 10 VIZ the appropriation for the
removal of the reef ut He'll Gate.
Mr., Bayne opposed the amendment within
100000 of the amount estimated for had been an.
propriated, and he thought that that was sum
cient.
air. Dunn favored the amendment and took oc.
casion to crltiCise the comments of the New York
papers upon the river and harbor appropriation
bills. lie mad no respect for the cotlfse pursued
by those journals, but he valued the commerce of
his country and he would vote for the Increased
appropriations while he despiSed the PROVINCIAL
selilshness of New York
The motion was lost
Mr.. Hewitt then moved TO decrease the appro.
priatlon To $4,000. With SS00,0O0 nothing could
bs done but pump out water and $4,000 was
National Republican., 1884-06-11
Dinna Ys Hear the Slogan


Dinna ye hear the slogan. boys?
Hurrah Hurrah
Itsounds for Blaine" and Logan" boys!
Hurrah! Hurrah
On the "White Plumed knight" and "Our Blacl,
jack"
The loyal people will never go back,
But Will all be staunch and true
Till both come marching home.
Grand Army Veterans one and all
Hurrah Hurrah
Have heard the grand old slogans call,
Hurrah Hurrah
Will Join the ranks and follow on,
To help the glorious cause along,
And all be loyal and true
It'll Johnny comes marching home.
The old "Pine Tree" and "rrairie Flower"
Hurrah HurIGhl
United they will be power,
HurrSh lIuTah
For victory now We will march on,
And plant them both in Washington.
Aud all be solid for them,
Till both come marching home.
Then listen to the slogan, boys,
Hurtuh Hurrahl
II sounds for "Blaine" aud Logan, boys,
Hurrah Hurrah
Then fall in line and march along,
TO make the union army strong,
And all be solid for them.
TIL both come marching home.
49, pr1f H. IpTIdo,ps