The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-11-22
"a vERYFUNNY SNAP
! SCENE IN A JUSTICES SHOP
And q Previous Scene In n Restaurnnt, the
squire and u Countryman Being tho
g Drnmntis Porsonas-A Case Show.
Ing How Justice IL Administered.

There Is occasionally u rich case before
some OF the local justices Of the peace, but
the funniest one ever ret orted was that
Of Dan Magrudcr, Of Marshall county,
arraigncd before Squire Buchanan o
Thursday evening for All assault. The
Squire was himself the complainant, tho
constable, the prosecutor, tho judge ard
The, jury, and likewise the county treasury
for the purposes Of this particular case.
Tho Squire entered the Delmonico res
taurant about 10 o'clock, where Magruder
had dropped in 10 sec II sol who Is EN-.
p!oyed there. Buchanan sat down ut the
attnc table, and, shortly, took 8iIense at
something Magruder said, and rose to
arrest him, saying, Masrudcr alleges, that
no was Squire Peterman. Magruder was,
| 10 Use his own language, "prctty cflock'
full, and not hankerin' after gittin' arrest.
| cd" and he resisted. ,Ga
The semi.weekly %scrubbing Of the floor
was in progresst md just behind tho Squire
was II large oyster pail, half full Of dirty
water and scrub rays. Mngruder struck
or pushed his would DO captor, and tho
Squire doubled up and sat down In the
pail, with his head and feet extending up.
ward Mt right angles to the floor.
tfe was rescued, and wcnt III search OF
an nble bodied man to arrest his assnilutt,
Officer Montgomery was near, and though
hc declined TO make the arrest, tho moral
effect OF his blue coat aud brass buttons
was such TINT the Justice was able to get
Ma.ruder TO his office. Montgomery was
then dispatched for DR.. CIV. Kelly, who
Ind witnessed the Affair, and was wanted
by the State to testify against the prisoner,
No sooner Ind tho blue coat vanished
tltan Magruder prepared to vanish a.
80, but the Squire circumventcd this
scheme by locking the door. Magrudel
swore mildly, and picking up n city direc
tory, began to turn ovcrthe leaves III search
Of the Bill Of Rights.
"Pnt down that book, sir" said the
Squire.
Masruder did not put down the book
but he invited the court to visit n cline
whose colloquial name is not m%entionabl,
TO ears polite.
"lou are fined $40 for: contempt o
court" said tliejusticc, "and il you repca
that, yon 90 to jail"
The prisoner repeated it, and tho justfc'
made a break for him. But the city direc
, tory 'took him in the abdomen" and HI
] sat down to wait until the officer sioul,
return.
lilo did not wait long. Dr.. Kelle,
honored the summons, which was YER
0 good Of the Doctor, and %inresponse 10 in
Y qnirics, he told the Squire all about tn
n ns %nult on tho comDluiMnt
well" said the Court, "lll fine yo'
. $40 and costs"
3 ooh, you DO d." was the only re
+ Spouse.
. Haven't YOU got that much money!
) asked the Squire.
No response. ,Ia
, "I'l tell you what III do; ! don't wan
no fuss about thishere thing; III maxi
it S."
make it what you d-n please; .iti
none OF my business" said Magruder.
"Well, how does 50 strike you?"
ut don't strike me ut ALL"
LET me see; I'll call it Il dollar an,
costs-that's s. Co."
Musrudcrnow ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. Reach
ing in his pocket, he pulled out 4 81 bill
and handed it to the Squire, with the re-
mark. "That's all the money got"
ooh, well, thatIl do" said buchanan
"1ll throw Oft the witness's fees and cal
it even y. You can so, and hope you'll
REFORM"
Half an hour later this sudden increase
in wealth had had its effect on the justice
and he was found very drunk on Tho
streetby Oilleer Reed, who locked him up
Yesterday morning Judge Jeilcrs linel
him 81 and costs. f.
Magruder haunted the squire's Offices
yesterday, trying to get Il warrant issuec
ior, Buchanan for matchmaking, malfeas
ance in Office or obtaining money under
false prctenses-he didn't care whit h.
Probably the next act in the comedy
will be in the Roard,of Commissioners.