Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-12-05
1alfs aud Skftfhes.
Counting In Church.
SERMONS" FOR THE BENEFIT
OF Young PEOPLE.

1
OF Young People.
The preacher sat fitting back in his chair
gazing in an distracted manner at Star
reporter, who was on the opposite side OF
the desk, in the pastors study, writing
ont some religious information for the
columns of the Star. As the reporter
finished his work. and was gathering to-
gether the papers. he glanced across at
the preacher, and noticed the preoccupied
expression of his face. Anticipating that
he might have something more to say OF
interest, the reporter settled back in his
seat. and, without interrupting the silence.
awaited developments. The reporter
gazed at the preacher. and the preacher
gazed at the reporter, but still the silence
remained unbroken.
Presently the reverend gentleman re-
marked, as if thinking aloud:
Il shall have to begin shortly another
series OF back-seat sermons"
"Ah, indeedt" observed the listener,
entirely in the dark as to the meaning of
the reverend gentleman, and then the re-
porter fastened to add on a venture:
'.Doctrinal sermons. suppose ?''
"Doctrinal sermons!" echoed the
preacher. In almost a shout. as he brought
his chair down with crash that threaten
ed all the springs. what are you talking
about Do You pretend that you don't
know what mean ?'
The reporter confessed. without blush,
to this alarming ignorance.
"Well," continued the preacher, charit-
able, 81 suppose that you have been mar
ried some time, and have forgotten about
your counting days. Let me ask you one
question: How did you and your sweet
heart generally spend Sunday evening Pr
Let me see,' reflected the reporter.
somewhat astonished at this turn in the
conversation. think we usually went TO
church if it wasn't too cold or too hot.
She was rather delicate. and had to be
careful about going out at night, you
know" he added, halfapologetically.
"Oh A! certainly. of course" said the
preacher; and he leaned back and looked
at the reporter with one eye shut, very
suggestive OF worldly wink. Now,
when you went to church you invariably
sat as far back as you could get. OF
course you did. Now why did you do
that ?''
The listener pondered that question,
and as the events of that happy period
passed in review before his mental vision,
he smiled. then laughed out loud.
"You, see," at last said the reporter,
aiming to make a sensible explanation,
she wanted to see the bonnets of the other
girls, as is natural with women when they
go to church. or any other public place.
and wanted to see her, and so, of course
we couldn't go way up front"
The preacher nodded his head approx
ingly during this explanation, as if it was
Just what he expected. then he said:
"Your reasons, ] suppose, are just as
good as could be given. At any rate, all
young couples. on Sunday night, make
for the back seats, and they won't take
any other. An usher may start on ahead,
and they will let him 60, and they drop
into back seat, and when he turns round
at the head of the aisle, with pleasant
smile on his face, to show them into a
good front pew. he generally finds, to his
disgust, that no one is behind him. That
sort of thing has deprived the church of
the services of many an efficient usher.
They can't stand the humiliation of ush-
ering up the aisle nothing, and then walk
ing back to face a smiling congregation.
1t breaks them all up, SO to speak,
Now, what is the result of this sort of
thingP" continued the preacher argu-
mentatively. when rise in my pulpit
on Sunday evening. and look over the
congregation. what do see2 In the pews
near the front, are the elders and deacons,
good men, with their shining bald heads
and attentive faces. Their wives are with
them, and here and there is a maiden
| lady. Then in the centre is q broad des-
ert of empty pews, and way back in the
rear. massed around the doors, as you
might say, are young people, always in
pairs. | am glad to see them. | always
preach better to the young, and plunge
into my sermon with energy and ANNA
ton. After particularly telling point,
aimed right at these young people, l look
up to enforce with gesture and personal
| glance what | have to say, and instead of
finding the eyes of my back-seat congre-
CATION turned upon me in attentive inter-
est, they are not paying the slightest at
tention to me. They are not even looking
at me. But there they sit, looking into
each others eyes like young calves, or
perhaps" he added, with bitter sarcasm,
as the poet expresses it:
/ 'Splt eyes loohtu ioFt W eyes Spthe hRdiu'
II got tired of that sort of thing las,
winter" he resumed, after brief pause,
and made up my mind that would have
their attention tor a little while at least.
began a series of what | call back-sea
sermons. They don't differ materially
from the other sermons, except at certain
intervals, which mark, shout out with
great force,
"Young mani and then pause as i
for rhetorial effect.
1.-The effect is rhetorical merely on the
front-seat congregation. The young mer
who have been devoting their entire atten
ton to exploring the liquid depths OF thei
sweethearts' eyes. give a start. and the
companions do the same, and every fac,
on the back seat is turned toward me. II
their guilty self-consciousness of using thu
church to do their counting in, they ihinl
that they are being personally rebuket
from the pulpit. While have their at
tention, improve the opportunity b,
pouring out some gospel hot-shot. How
ever. as soon as the first shock is over
and they have glanced around and founc
everything quiet, they fall into courtin,
again, with renewed vigor Then com,
at them sgain. and suddenly shout out
Young woman = with the same effect a