Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-02-14
Nasty In Ohio.
THE RESULT OF HIS MISSION IN SEN
AToR PENDLEToN'S BEHALF.
Honey from the Carcass tie Same
as IN S0mson's Time.

TOLEDO btd0e' CONFEDERATE y
ROADS (Which is in the State NV Ken.
tucky) Jan. %, l8S4.-I wuz called
upon to 90 to Columbus, witch is the
cappytyle Nv Ohio, to assist my old
friend Pendleton, which hev knowd
but to love for many yeers. alluz
admired Pendieton, and alluz agreed
with him except for two things. He
outraged the Dimocrisy in two ways
viz; He alluz wore eileen shirs,
and wuZ the father nv civil-servis
law / Good endoor the former ez a
incident NV his bringin up, but the
latter | never wuz quite satisfied
with Any law witch prevents a Dim
ekrat from takin an offs when he
kin get one is an outrage witch can't
be too severely reprehended How
ever, forgave him, for l never
sposed it meant anything. Ez per-
feshnel offs seeker for many long,
weery yeers, and offs holder at on
certain and spasmodic intervals, /
am perfeckly willin to trust the en-
forcement of any law regulatin offs
holdin to the Dimocrisy, eff they
ever git where they hev the dispen-
sin of offises. So long ez the Re
publikins hev the power, | don't see
that it wood worry us very much.
WORK OF NECESSITY AND MERCY.
TO 60 to Columbus, or anywhere
else, to assist in the eleckshun of
Pendleton or anybody else is to me
alluz work of necessity and mercy,
which | am willn to do. | am will
in to be sent anywhere, for bein sent
implies the payment nv expenses,
and the payment Nv expenses in any
Dimocratic servis meens onlimitid
likker. Let me be shoor who pays
for my likker and l keer not who
makes my laws
Arrivin in Columbus | wuz very
soon informed ez to the sitooashen.
That old war-hoss, Durbir Ward,
wuz out NV the ring, and Pendleton
bisself wuz very much demoralized.
A moo element had come into the
contest Henry b. Payne, the can
didate NV the Standard Oil company,
wuz the favorit by long odds.
"Certinly,' | sed to myself, "ther
amt a-goin to be any trouble in
beetin the ojus monopolist, Payne.
Their amt a-goin to be any question
ez to layin out man who comes to
Columbus on the strength NV his dol
lars only, espeshly ez them dollars
hez every one NV EN-, the smell nv
oil onto its garmence-every one NV
witch wuz dragged out nv the people
by the most ojus monopoly ever
known in this or any other kentry.
We will make short work NV this
bloated devil-fish NV monopoly.
This legislacher wuz electid by the
Dimocrisy ez reform legislacher,
ez u anti monopoly legislacher, and
it will be troo to its mishun."
Jist en- these thots wuz a passin
thro my mind Their cum into the ho-
tel a batch NV members from the
cars, fresh from their constituencies.
To them | addressed myself,
"a BRUTAL MONOPOLY.
"Gentlemen," | remarked most
NV EN- didn't respond when | sed
"gentlemon," but actid ez tho they
didn't know whom | waz addressing
-"Gentlemen, 700 hev dooty to
perform. Their is two candidates for
the SENT, and WOO must choose
atween EN-. One is Pendleton, a
pure senator, a uprite citizen, and a
incorruptible legislachel. The other
is Henry b. Payne, the tool of that
wuss than bloated monopoly, the
Standard Oil company Both ask
your votes-Pendleton, without fee
or reward-Payne's managers for
money"
"Wat!' was the response.
II repeat: Payne's managers fol-
money. For the fust time in the
histry NV the state nv Ohio money
is bein yoosed to purchis votes E2
pure men, ez honest men, will yoo
endoor this? Tie managers .fo1
Payne are payja CT high es $4,000
apiece for U0tesP
Did these members denounce this
brootal monopoly in fttin' terms,
and swer to never reset till they had
crushed it?
Did Their faces comfort with rage.
and indignashen, and slch, when
they heerd these awful words?
Not much.
But they immeiitly flew at me and
demanded wher Payne's managers
Good be found; and Oher wuz a foot
race to see which Good git to his
headquarters afore the markit wus
oyerstocked. found EN- all there:
and a dozen NV en-, who wuz heshy
and coodent run fast, denounst me
ez no troo Dimerat for not heyin IN
formed EN- sooner that they mite hev
got i'll before the quota wuz filed,
that thew mite hey Their Whack. Then