The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1884-11-25
WORRIED WOOING.
"rhem Conversational Abilities" of Bill
Spriggs Father-in-Law.

Now, when |, in the natural course
of human events, took little time an
done my counting, everythin' was pro-
pitious an pleasant like with one en-
ception,' said Bill Spriggs. "No one
serious y objected to me, from the old
folks down to the rather fastidious
houSe-dog.
Everybody was friendly an willin',
apparently, that should undertake the
keepin' of one O the daughters, an o
some tent the rest o the family. But
the one heavy, pulverizin cross had
to bear was the old mans talk. He
was on hand every night O my would
be courtin', ready primed, an from the
time the door closed after my amiable
arrival till formed background to
my departin', disgruntled footsteps, he
never one moment of appreciate or
standard ime let up in his converse
ton. | was a martyr to them CONVEX
sational abilities. I've still got the
whole Of the incidents of his Journey
from Pennsylvania to the West indeli-
bly, imprinted upon my memory, to-
gether with every foot O the scenery
along the road, from that long winter
of extraordinarily long nights nara
tons. 'Ah, me, he'd commence,
them was times that tried mems
souls, an especially their wind an CON
sttution, Coming from PennSylvany
I've went actually four day thout any
milk in my coffee, an The toughest
kind O. steak, and no maple syrup for
our hot cakes, an only what fresh fish
we could could eat an painfully lug
along with us. Young feller you don't
know nothin', specially bout what us
pioneers suffered. Them times showed
what mans made out'n, very vSbly,
sometimes. At times, when we'd cometo
a big deep, dark, rapid rollin' river,
we'd have to holler ourselves hoarse,
and p'raps wake the baby, attractin'
the ferry mans attention on tother
side. An maybe crossin' small streams
we'd be pestered terrible with mosqui-
toes, an more'n once I've been that
dizzy on account Of the rapid current.
Oncc-I shall never forget it. often Wit
| dream of it an holler out dreadful -
when we'd been out on the road about
week an twas near the close of day,
an we was still pressin' on hard, try
ing to get to some spring that hadn't
enough sulphur in it to spoil the whisky
punch. The shadders of night was
gatherin very fast, an also the gnats
an mosquitoes, an the trees an things
dipped in tar, so black they was, an
gloomy, when all Of a student | was
sprung upon from behint, an raised
a most out of my saddle with the vio-
lence an pain of the stab | received
from one O them tarnal bic black
antsn
Then, may be, for rest an 4
change for himself, he'd 20 off onto
the history of his very great-grandfath-
err who reyolutionized some war. or
warred in some revolution or some
thin. He most generally commenced
about cannon he ella med the old feel.
Ter had helped to captivate | dozed
OIL one night when he sprung the can.
non story, an when finally woke, |
saw by the clock I'd been sleepin' one
hour an forty minutes, an there he
was still onto that gun.
81 hadn't been married two weeks
aiore the man asked me for a loan
OF 81 an, bein' refused, he withheld
ms conversational powers from me for
three months, even to paSsn' the time
o day as we passed by - Cincinnati
Commercial gazette.