Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-06-01
HOW TO RULE MEN.
A Lecture to Women by a Woman who
Has Studied Mankind.


Has Studied Mankind.
Chicago Ne,os.
Il do not entertain much,v said a lady
who has been an acknowledged leader OF
Chicago society for % years, ssbut | re.
ceiVe a great deal. L do not believe in
entertainment, although l am mindful
that there is very much stress laid upon
the sOciality of REFRESHMENTS People
do not call on you for eatables; they
can buy their lunch anywhere. But the
society of a cultivated lady or gentleman
Is not so easy of access. People want
mental food; they want to exchange their
ideas for some newer ones; they want to
talk and laugh, and TO make you talk
and laugh; they want the society of some
sweet women of sense and YiYacitY, who
viii skilfully draw them into cOnversa-
ton, and for the time being direct their
thoughts from the subjects that have en-
crossed them all day. The woman who
has to appeal to her table-whO thinks
she must pamper the appetites of her
guests in order to please-Openly con-
fesses that she is not accustomed to
society. and not equal to its demands.
Besides, look at the way women enter
tain nowadays. What does a man care
for ices, cake, frappe and bouillon
I Truly their own observation should teach
them better. L can get more real social
CHJUs lucHL anu CREATE more COnNlNlallGy
with dozen sandwiches and two quarts
of cider or hot coffee than | can with ten
pounds of angels food and three gallons
of ice cream. L have been in society for
twenty-five years, and when l have re-
ceiYed my most charming companies all l
served was tea and wabers. If there
were gentlemen present l substituted
coffee. L am great admirer of card par
ties and musicales with not more than
IN 70 A 3nIn
invite them in the dining room and refresh
them without ceremony. 1 have dish OF
salad and some nice bread and butter,
with a pickle or an olive and a cup OF
hot coffee. More often 1 simply put a big
dishful Of nice sandwiches in the centre
Of the little table, and have half
a dozen bottles of ale brought in right
from the ice-bOx. That is what men like,
and if you mean to please them that is
one of the means to use.
S'1Ou should never feel obligated to
serve refreshments in the morning or
afternoon, for no well-bred person eX-
poets 1t unless invited especially to spend
the day. If you ask him to dine with
you, then serve an elegant dinner.
Il think if women only knew how
sweet and lovely they are and how much
they can do with men they would pay
more attention to their personal cultVa-
tiOn than they DO. Why, if woman only
goes about it right she can do anything
with a man, and make him conform to
| her ideas in every particular. She has
tact, skill, talent, beauty, refinement, and,
combine her intuition with her fascinat-
ing powers, she can change his politics,
reform his religious ideas, alter the
whole course of his life, and shape his
| career to suit herself But she must not
| be a fool, can tell you, nor must she
! forget for an instant the art and tineSse
7 by which she rules.
Man is at best a brusque, selfish, i'm
pulsive creature, full of cOnceit and yaga-
! ries, and anxious to rule and control.
/ He has strength and he wants to use it;
/ he has creative faculties and lives to
| execute. But whatever he Is he looks to
woman for his pleasures, and the one who
I can please him can rule him and do with
/ him what she Will. A woman is young
until she is twenty-five, and a man re-
I tains his youth ten years longer, but
I after that there is nothing to live for but
/ home. Life has lost its Zest, and there is
/ no charm in the toys and amusements OF
| Yesterday. You must admit that a
/ woman marrieS for convenience. She
wants a home, protection, immunity from
/ labor, and the delights of cOmpaniOnship.
] Now, if man makes this home, if he
/ stands between her and danger, if he
/ contributes the best interests of his life
/ for her maintenance, he certainly is
! entitled to his reward. He wants his
/ home beautified, filled with friends and
\ good cheer; he wants to be petted,
! admired, respected, encouraged and loved
| He wants to be king, in short.
| sob, yes, you may say petting is all
| nonsense, but just let me tell you that
/ YOU are mistaken, and if the husband
! cannot get that loving affection at home
he Will get it some place else. Caresses
! can be bought like every other luxury.
/ "a wife must be a sweetheart all her
! life. She must never get too old to be
4 charming. She must cultivate a sweet
/ temper and an atfable manner, and her
| only anxiety must be a dread of offending
| her husband. Another thing: sarcasm
/ wont work; 1t is an objectionable offence
/ in the family circle, and, no matter how
/ pertinent it may be, women cannot
/ afford ever to say a harsh word to the
/ man she loves.
beautiful? No woman need be any.
/ thikg else. If she has a poor complexion
there are powders and cosmetics thai
/ defy detection; she can have beautiful
/ eyelashes and eyebrows; no matter how
! poor and coarse her hair is, it can be re-
markably well-kept and so becOmingly
| arranged as to be admired; the most irTegu
/ lar teeth can be polished like so many
! pearls, and clean teeth and a sweet
!
/ spised; white hands and tapering, polished
nails will atone for very i'll shape of q
\ hand What if the feet are large. if they
are well-shOd? If the figure is poor, il
/ can be so clean, so healthy-loOking and sc
| delicately perfumed that your very pre-
! sence will be wholesome and refreshing
! and. / tell you, clothes make the refine
ment that belongs TO a lady or gentleman
! Indeed, the r3iment is typical of much
/ that is within. If nature has meagerly
/ bestowed her charms that is the very
/ reason why a woman should have re.
h course to art. If she cannot shine in
| music, painting, or the sciences, she can
/ become a pleasant, If not brilliant
/ talker. She can read and observe and be
| an authority on current literature, and il
! she will but study the why and wherefore
/ of things and the very best points in her
/ friends, she can make for herself a circle
| that will be the very envy of her prettiest
/ competitor.
/ For instance, we will suppose she is
/ invited to a theatre or a concert. Let heI
! procure a programme in advance and
4 make study of the play, the actors, the
| music, or the artists. Let her have some
| interesting matter to talk about. The
| gentleman goes to the expense of the
/ entertainment and has right to expect
| that the lady he has favored will show
/ her appreciation in some way.
Naturally? Oh, L hate natural peO-
plel They are rude, curt, needless, and
| presumptiOus. 1 like people to antici.
/ pate my pleasures. 1 like to hear them
/ say pretty things, to use pretty language,
and to acquire pretty manners. One
! need not necessarily be a hypOcrite, but
| if there is any choice L prefer the polite
/ hypocrisy of the French to the rude
/ candOr of the BritOns.'
|
A Good Well.
! ArkdnSdtC TrdCeEer.