The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-06
THE PENALTIES OF FAME,
lBni Nye. ia Cleveland Sua.l

lnH Nyoa ln SeNoiahu Suns
 Some years ago, when was younger, was very easily approached by strangers, especially fl they intimated th at they had heard of me before. The most down. trodden and offensive human failure could borrow my watch and chain then, if he went at it right, and it was e cold day when l wasn't called upon to feed some great Admirer !" os mine. who had footed 1t through from Boston to the coast in order to shake hands with me.
 am not so much that way now. 1 would rather be famed for pants than pant for fame (s,all-ted humor When A pale-eyed tramp takes me by the hand nowadays and tells me how he has iourneyed from Nova ScotiA to see mo, | perpesrate little coop de la, on him by asking him H he has Q doiiar in his clothes that could borrow ,ill mex, week Alter that there iA a lull in the conver- sation that you could cut with knife.
 Many years ago there was a red-headed conductor running No. , over the Sher- man hill, whose name was Boils.-at least that's near enough. No. wasn't really A train Of vanished cara" It was an emigrant train but it had com for,able caboose on behind with leather covered seats and an observatory on top and oil paintings in IL painted by Michael Angelo Prang, and used to rids over the mountain with Boils Tn this caboose quite frequently.
 One night there were several of us coming over the hill and we were having a good, fair average time smoking Alex Joelman's cigars an telling stories as we poked along up the heavy grade Of the Union Pacific road from Cheyenne west. Alter awhile Boils wen, through the train, with a self-cocking punch, and made the usual assessment. Then he came back and told me that there was . lady in one of the cars ahead who had heard tn some way that l was aboard, and vas very anxious to meet me. He said he would go forward and introduce me if wished. rose msj sjestically felt of my mustache, to see fl it was still there, and then vent into the other car where Boils introduced me to A corpulent woman about eighty seven years of@Age, whose teeth were made for some one else. She couldn't hear very well either. The train made some noise, and so when ahe wanted very severely to h:sY what ] said she would lean over on my shoulder, with the cold and somewhat soiled rim of her car close to my face, so that she could ca.ch my words as they fell.
 She said she was jus. returning from the centennial
 "Ah." ssid, "where do you 40 to celebrate your centennlals Rowadays 1o
 "Oh, down 10 Philadelphy," she said, as soon ss she had collected my question into her Jumbo ears.
 "I should think you would 20 to the Acropolis," said, getting little weary of my companion, or 10 Pompeii, where you could have a kind of reunion of ruins."
 "Yes, we ven, to Ipjnopolis, too." she replied.
 And so we cha,ted along up the hill While the boys were having a nice joyful time, 1 was there yelling playful little bon mots and such things AS that into the dark recesSes Of an old cmigrants ear, who, afterwards learned, though, 1 was foreign missionary on my way to my charge via Frisco.
 Finally asked her 10 excuse me, as had to go back to the rear car to attend 10 uienu Sno VAS uyibR' " touk mS \ long time to work this paIpable faiSehood through the neglected lsbyrinths to her mind, but finally she seemed to gFapple ~ish t all right.
 Then she wanted to go, ,os. told her no it would certainly hasten the end. How 1 wanted to get hold of Boiis and bring h.m to s head Al last 1 got away from the aged conyersationaiis, and went back to the caboose.
 It was locked
 stood out On the platform in ihe cold all the way down the wes, side of the bill to Laramie, where we arrived q, s little past midnight as the train was late.
 never felt any where near even wiih Boiis until yezr or % afterward, when the general superintendent wrote and asked him if he wouldn't be kind enough to resign, 90 as 10 give the stockholders q chance. He told Boils tha, if he would resign and get job on rival road, and be as economical about turning in cash fares as he had been with him, the com paDy would present him with gold headed cane.