Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-10-29
BRIGHT BITS.

A SWARM of bees administered singing
rebuke to a train load Of passengers IN the
neighborhood of Chicago the other day. The
train went through the swarm and the swarm
went through the traln.-BoStOn P0st.
Eyes y said the Vermont deacon, 81 always
go down to the camp-meeting, and always
come back feeling good. Do you see that
magnificent horse there in the field? Wen,
you ought to have seen the old plug TOOK
down."
SCENE-Table d'hote at fashionable hotel
on Deeside; big market day. Farmer of the
old school has dined. Waiter-"Finished, slrf'
Farmer-"Fat's the chairgeW Walter-"Elvo
shiIIings please Farmer; sta at ResnSs
operations.
'sTHERE's something the matter with this
lemonade: / guess your lemons must have
been too ripe." so, no." replied the waiter;
''the lemons are all right. 1t may be the ice;
a little stale. perhaps" ''Ice staler' ~ es,
sir: been kept since last winter, you know"
Customer drinks in silence.
s'NIY DEAR, you NAV go down and buy the
best winter bonnet in the market, ana bro
caded velvet gown, and Brussels carpet,
Have Won made a fortuneY'' "Not quite, dear.
but Pm just going to-" HOW "Got an
idea for the biggest patent on wheels. Every
bOdy'l want it," "What is lty AUTOMATIC
steam coachman - Chicago Nea0S.
HEAR the little baby,
Hear the pretty baby,
Kicking like steerlet,
Raising shrieks on high;
Till the merry water,
Till the guTgllng water
Gets into his mOuthlet
And he cannot cry.
-UnknOlon Daddy.
THE day was young. Two men, each carry
ing a lot of tools, came slowly up to the cor
ner of - street, and there paused. A Mill
ton car had Just passed the corner ami was
fully twenty feet away. "Ihere's our car,
remarked one, calmly. "No matter" replied
his companion, ''we'd have TO hurry 10 eaten
it. Therell be another in an hour and they
seated themselves in doorway ana lighted
their pipes. They were plumbers.-B0Ston
Globe.
"AIY DEAR" said the King of Denmark to
his spouse, the mother of Hamlet, "you needn't
give it away, but | poured molten lead INTO
my brothers ear while he was sleeping in the
orchard, and that's the kind OF sea- serpent
that stung him." "YOu don't say SOP" said
the Queen. II have said so, so please DON'T
say that don't say so. Yes, l poured bull
let-mouldful into his ear. 1t was capital
joke. Do you know what his last words were
when he went off?' 81 do not" "They were:
Il didn't know it was loaded "-Detro@ POST
INDIAN soUAw Visiting her daughters at
the Indian schoOl)-"WhO are those two girls
you were playing withP Indian pupils
tTheir names are Edith and Ellie. They are
such nice little girls" "But they are white"
s'Yes MAJ where do they come FRONT"
Edith is from Boston and Ellie from Phila-
delphia." ''Just as 1 supposed. How, often
must l tell you never to associate with such
fOlks?" ssWhy, ma, what is the matter with
them?" ''The idea of my children-nag chill
dren-stoOping to recognize such creatures
Be more exclusive. Remember you belong to
one of the old families" "But don't they,
mar" "Of course not. They are mere foreign
ers, whose ancestors came over with Miles
Standish and William Penn.-PhitddeLphi
Call.
AT ball the other day, a young medical
student came suddenly face to face with
dear, kind fatherly- looking gentleman, with
white hair, and of highly respectable appear
ance. They both stood transfixed. The same
idea flashed across both Of them. "Your face
is familiar to me-very familiar-but can't
remember where we have met so often"
However, the friendly impulse was carried
out. They shook hands warmly, partook OF
friendly glass and departed, still ignorant OF
each others name and occupation. But the
young man was determined TO solve the prob
lem, and he seized on a waiter and said 70
him: ''Tell me, waiter, who is that distin.
guished stranger with the long white hair"
And the waiter whispered slowly: "Please,
sir, that's the paWnbrOker."- Nea0 York STAR