The Delaware ledger. (Newark, Del.) 1879-19??, 1884-04-26

Tue barber is satirized and maligne'
artist. He is set forth as heing skill
full business man and humorist. Ii h
were half as snrewd as he Is said to be
be would certainly have sense enougl
to become a Grit politician and go h
Toronto to be brjbed by those awfu
Tories. And if he were the merr.
jester that he is claimed to be, he woul'
get into circus or minstrel troupe ant
secure wealth and recognition by TIT
Introduction of fresh joke, which
would not only rebound to his credit
but be step toward the humiliation
those which are 80 old that they ar
obliged to hobble ON crutches and hoit
themselves together with trusses.
In truth the barber uses only the
most every day, commonplace language
To prove thus it is only necessary K
quote a conversation overheard, the
other morning, between one OF these
so-called tiends and a customer, the
barber opening:
''F'ine day?"
eyes"
''Guess the rain is over at last"
Guess it is.
"We'I have snow before long, /
think"
Correct. In some parts OF the world
they have snow even at this time, in
other parts they never have any snow.
while there are regions where the snow
lies on the ground all the year round.
You are right in your prediction, how
ever, and you'd be safe in betting on it
without consulting the almanac. If we
don't have it in few weeks we'll have
1t IN few months sure"
"Are you weather prophet"
mo; | sell pork on commission.
Pause,
''Does the razor hurt your
mot at all. can't feel it any more
than you could feel McKim's pecuniary
pulse the morning after the bribery ex-
plosion In Toronto"
The bribery excitement is over, isn't
it?"
sit is. It has been over about one
week-for everybody except the Grits. !"
Pause.
lis it too cold for you with the door
open2"
mot at all; it is very pleasant"
81 SEQ Vennor says we're going to
have warm and dry summer followed
by a mild winter"
lis that 50? hope so, and trust
we may be able to scramble til. ouRh the
winter months on our bamboo canes,
summer underclothes, straw hats with
blue bands, Oxford ties, twenty. FIVE
cent socks, and navy Llue bathing
suits"
Pause.
"Olose shaver"
Yes, as close as you can; want this
shave to last until pay day."
Crop prospects are good this year. >"
They may be; but it's not proper
Tor man who cuts hair to speak of
crops. That was originally intended
Tor u Joke IN London where it was built,
aud had loug and prosperous run, and
underwent various changes to meet va.
rious contingencies. 1t is now Simply
respected on account of it's great age,
AID Is kept alive by warm bricks, stimu-
lants and medIcated underclothes.
Pause.
''Sau suicide in Toronto last night"
Didn't hear of it, but II must have |
been. Sulcides are generally sad.
Don't know tnat l ever heard Of real |
delightful, merry suicide that embraced |
all The ecstatic elements of sail over a
tranquil lake at twilight, accompanied |
by II girl with soft black eyes and ten
der little rosebud mouth"
PauFe,
Your hair is getting thin on top"
That's the correct place for it to get
thin. Suppose a mans hair should fal
out all around and remain intact on top
Then he would be tutted like a cockatoo
and he would eclipse minstrel show
every time he would raise his hat to a
lady. And he mig lit wax such tuft
ana work 1t up to point like a goatee,
and thus afford his friends lots OF in
nocent diversion; or he might grow
1t long, and let 1t hang around his
head III fringe, or convert il into a pig
tall."
Pause.
Bay rum2"
Yes"
Fifteen cents"
Here"
Thank you. Good morning."
Good morning.
Ana the patron who had done twice |
as much talking as the barber walA cd |
out