The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-05-15
EXCELSIOR.
How a Sixth Ward Couple
Took It In.

L
A young man frem the NEST Six
tieth part of the Sixth Ward at
tended one Of the performances of
Excelsior, taking his "girl' with
him, of course. A Sixth Warder
without girl in tow is like an
ocean steamer without q screw pro.
peller. They were quite enthusiasts
tic, and occasionally gave vent to
| their feelings in tone of voice that
was audible for some distance
around. When the curtain arose
Darkness" appeared in an elevated
position holding "Civilz4tion" in
captivity, and the suburban COM
ments began.
SIS them Adam and Eve ?" said
she.
Thunder, nol' he replied;"Adam
and Eve didn t wear no clothes
There wasn't no clothes in them
days."
Pretty scon the scene changed,
and the premiere dGnSease app ared
pirOuetting aud spinning Ike q top.
'Thst's Eve" said he.
"And is Adam coming on soon ?"
eyes, guess so.
"rhen want to 60 home"
"What fOr?"
"Do you s'pose I am going to set
here and look at man that amt
-
Her speech was cut short by the
appearance of the entire corps de
ballet. appropriately undressed.
Phe girl blashed violently, but the
youth smiled sinister, half-grown
smile.
Lets CO." sa d che; 81 didn't
know this was that kind of place.
Come on; 1 won't stay another min
ute." .-..e ~
But the youth had made other ar.
rangements and couldn't have been
moved then with keg Of dynamite.
He was all eyes in one direction and
no ears in the other. The damsel
remained, under protest, and
gradually drank In the inspira.
! ton of the occasion until
she became fascinated with the
magnificent groupings, fantastic
trappings and gorgeous ensemble
O DON'T know what "ensenable" is,
but have seen it used ia this
connection so often that
| 1t must be the proper
thing.l What was at first sinful
indulgence became a delightful
pastime, and the curtsia fell on the
first act. Then came a boy with 8
big teapot in his hand calling out
"ice water" The couple watered
and the dialogue was resumed.
"Ain't that bully ?" said he.
"Yeu bet," said she, with an en-.
thusiasm characteristic OF bel
native land. Chow long before they
give Us some more Of it?"
"As soon as the fiddlers ge
through with this tune, he replied
"Why don't they say something
in the pisy?"
"Cause it amt that kind of {
play. "Its a pantomime in allegory.
| (He had read this in a borrowed
copy Of THE HERALD)
] The girl seemed satisfied with tht
explanation, and waited for tht
curtain to rise with poorly concealed
anxiety. Finally the scene O.
"DIeamIand" vanished skyward
and the play went on. When tE:
mobile countenance Of Lincoln wa!
Re ached, the maiden wanted to know
who it was.
| "That is Abe Lincoln" sRid the
young man, having doubtless seer
his picture somewhere before.
"Does he live here?"
"NO, be don't live nowhere"
"Why?"
"Because he's dead"
"Did he bslong to this play ?"
'sNo. Of course not; he was Presi
| dent.''
"Of what stake?"
sob, thunder, he was President
OF the United States ?"
"Is that in Utah ?"
The youth gave htr a look OF
ineffable disdain and then turned
his ardent gaze to the limbfatic ex.
bibitiOn going on before him.
When the finale (another good
word was reached. and "DarkBess''
was Frustrated at the feet of "Civit
lization," with the concomitants OF
red fire, legs, arms, &C., the curtain
fell and the couple departed with
the rest of the audience. When
they (the couple, not the audience)
reached the gate, che mulmured
softly, and in measured accents:
slim, [ have srlendid idea"
Sire it," said he In trsgedian
tones.
"You know we haven't agreed On
name yet. Let's call the baby
Excelsior
"I'll go you,' he replied affec.
tionateiy.
Don't be alarmed, reader. They
have been married over a year.
ESSAY CAIGH.
Nothing in 1t.
Dopuor "A -Tbora 70 no fOnr do &