Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1884-03-20
PITH AND POINT.


The pink of politeness the blush
that follows kind act.
-Idleness is the dead sea which swal-
lows all virtues-the self-made sepul-
cher of living man.-Laty's Journal.
The only thing that equals the
spontaneousness with which this coun-
try proposes monument is the unani-
nous cordiality with which it isn't Luilt.
-Rockland Courier.
BE somebody on your own ac-
count, my son, and don't try to get
along on the reputation of Your ances-
tors" is the sensible advice Burdette
gives in his latest lecture.
The other day while Vermont wo-
man was frying doughnu:s, one OF them
exploded. Her husband merely ob-
served that he was glad, on the whole.
it happened before he had eaten the
thing.-Bostou Post.
"A missionary says the tallest people
on the globe are to be found on the
northeastern island of Terra del Fuego
A collector says the shortest people
on the globe may be found right here
at home when bill is presented. Nor
ristoWas Herald.
An influential Canadian journal is
responsible for the statement that when
the Marquis of Lansdowne shakes
hands with friend he bows and smiles.
And here we have been thinking all
along that when he shakes hands with
a friend he bends himself backward and
howls.
"A Texas postmaster boasts of being
q veteran of three wars, but his Eoasv-
inc is no evidence of his bravery. We
have quiet little man up here who has
been married seven times, and he never
mentions it unless questioned on the
subject. This Is genuine heroism. =
Brunswick Tribune.
While an Indiana editor was home
sick with typhoid fever and his wife and
little daughter were suffering at the
same time with diphtheria and scarliti-
ma, the office boy clipped and published
as a header the following medical note:
..Typhoid fever. diphtheria and scarliti-
ma are the result of human ignorance,
stupidity, laziness and filth, rather than
yisitations of God. ~. Y. Commercial
Advertiser.
To keep up with the 'stless tide of
art agonies that is overcoming these
DAYS Of refined civilizations is no ordi-
nary task. We have had the pond
fiIY on the SuiuSSic INC Cat-tdil
on the plaque. the suntlower
on the Turkish towel. the daisy ON the
tiny hollywood wheelbarrow. and now
II Is decreed that the portraits of the
family must be painted on the family
china. The head of the household
Jraces the roast bee platter, the lady of
the house sm les benignly from the
bread plate, while the children are dis
tributed around on the t acups and sau-
GERS. the loveliest of the girls decorating
the s,1par bowl Boston Post.
No Money for dresses: so you
wish to marry my daughter. Well. 1
rather like you. persona ly, but the ques-
ton is. can YOU support herr" Il have
an income OF Fl, 900 from an uncle's
estate .Good; that will pay the rent
of q house" Il get f50O more from
bonds which I own" "Good again;
that will:pay the servants wages. Il
have f1.0O1 year from q business
firm of which I am q partner. Yes;
that will feed you. What eise!
..Thst is all, SIR" ..All! And do you
expect my daughter to go without
ciothesp DO you think we ate Hosten-
totsa She can never g the wife OF
moor man. ~ Chic 90 1ssInme.