Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1884-02-08
COrns, Chilblains, Etc.

Right Hon. Blackboard Scrogps re-
Gently addressed the Detroit Limekiln
Club upon the subject of cOrns and kin.
dred annOyances, in substance a fol-
lows. according to reporter of the
Free Press:
TELLER NATIVES: Ny obieck in ar.
rovin heah ut dis pertickler time am &c
discuss a matter dat clusly consarns dc
hull Guild race of dis kcntry. DE con
seems to be carniverous, Omniverous,
an mighty familiar on short notice. II
les down wild de rich. gifts up wild de
poo. an stands right by you widout
strikin' fur higher wages. What causes
o'ns? In Olden times de con was sup
posed to be a speshul mark of good
luck. De Teller who could show six OF
seven of 'em on one heel Yas made
gub'nor Ober province an allowed to
keep half n dozen dogs. De little bunch
was said TO contain a pearl seventeen
carrots fine, an people went round
erwin an lamentin' bekase dey had nc
cons.
'In desc modern days we know
dat cons am caused bv n ten.
porary suspenshun of de circu-
lashun of Ge blood, mixed wild mo- OF
less rcackshun. So fur as we know de
pearls found on de inside can't be used
fur fish bat. an am darfo' a dead loss
10 de kentry. When YOU hear any one
gwine agound cryin' YOU kin bet n spot
ted cali agin n peck of dirt dat dey amt
weepin fur cons.
''De chilblain differs slightly from de
con- continued the orator, after drop.
ping n troche into his mouth. 1T
dom bunch up an come to head in
one per;ickler spot. While dc con am
satisfied to cotch on to a toe an hang
dar' fur n month or two, de chilblaip
comes purrin' round de heel, good
natured as an ole cat IL kinder tickles
We fur day Or two, an YOU step higher
an feel like taken your fadder out of de
poo house. But while YOU am wishin'
YOU could buy four hundred barrels Of
Hour fur four hundred widders an Orph-
ans dat chilblain begins to hunt around
fur mo- ground. AFTER he kivers de
heel he crteps ford TO de instep. Skulls
To de toes, an fust you know YOU am
huntin fur bute-jack an currycomb.
He has come TO STAY all winter an late
into spring. You can't coax. hire noI
scare him away. In olden DAYS de chill.
blain was supposed to arise from toe
much brains in de head DE man who
had 'em was considered a sort of
dOuble-ended statesman, an people
looked up to his heels as well as his
head. In desc times. we know dat dc
chilblain am caused bya sort of spon-
taneOus emblematical corruscashun of
de epidermis ut a critical period. All
dat brains has TO do in de case am to
invent n cure fur de complaint.
Il had intended to disgress few
translashuns on dc subjeck of bunions.
bow-legs, sittin' down on a dog an
pickin' up hot cent in front of a sa-
loon. but / sec de time allowed by your
rules am almost d spired. Let me add.
in conclushun, dat | am purvided wild
a box of knives, gimlets, circumstances,
pick-axes. acids. pincers an razers. TO
geder wild full supply of salves, plas.
tiers. wax an so forth, an arter de clos
OF dc meetin' / shall be pleased TO ex.
pertinent on all members free of ex-
pense. will now remark: Cum soils
cUra'lter pluribUs Cicero frcDens SiDlili-
bus Ginerai Jackson. and thank you for
your needless attentions tony unfeel.
ing remarks"