New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-03-26
Debating 4 ter.

dictate q letter to Speck lewOttle. IL
Youwill play amanuensis don't see
why 4 can't be sick just as we'll as
not. ~ 81
Mrs. Spoopendyke puttered around
and arranged her writing materials.
Shall j write on card with gilt
edge, or shall / take note paper?'' she
asked.
You'd better use paper 8 said Mr..
Spoopendyk severely syV hen Iwant
to convey my ideas on I. single, j will
carve 'em ii. with a knife. Now pet
ready, for I am going to start, and
don you interrupt me Or You will put
me out. = Ss
All ready, dear,,'' murmured Mrs.
Spoopend Ike, dipping her pen into the
ink and contempt plating her husband
anxiously
..Mr. Peter B. SpeckleWo ttle, COM
menced Mr.. poopend y ke.
Is his middle name sB?'' asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke, resting her album
on the table, her head on her hand and
testing her pen on the blotter. 81 don't
think I like his name anyhow, Peter
isn't nice.
.H any other name occurs to you,
put it in, observed Mr.. Spoopendyke,
with groWl. 9 Y on dom need to have
q man name RIGHT in q letter. Put III
anything and hurry up. will youp Go
ing to keep me in suspense all day who
this letter is going TOP
Mrs. Spoopendyke plunged into her
ment. s.Now I've got him in, dear
Got who in? Anybody q know?
Am 1 debating . private letter to a.
stranger? Got some particular friend
you want this note to go to unbeknown
to mep Who's in there? I'm going to.
know who's at the top before : put my
name at the bottom.
why, Mr.. Speck lewottle, of course, g
said she, look king at him with Wide-opens
eyes. That's what you said. Now
go on with the rest.
Have you. got the date and dear sir
in, too, /" asked Mr. Spoopendy Ike, peev-
ishly, for he was trying to think how
he should start his letter.
mo, dear, You didn't say anything
about those" replied his wife. YOu
only said the name. But Ill put the
others in. =
Twill, will yep croaked Mr.. Spoop-
endy Ike. Sticking on great deal Of
credit to yourself for yonr kindness to
the sick, ain ye? Willing to yield
your own preferences in faVoro of your
suffering husband? Well, you can't
fool me that much. Don't put EN- in;
hear me?'' Il
But I've got 'em in, = pleaded Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
..Then strike 'em out. = roared her
husband. ..S'pose I'm going to let
you put those things in and throw 'em
up in my face from the moment I get
well until the day I die. Scratch 'em
out, tell ye; I don't propose to have
my life made miserable by reminders
Of your kindness when ] was fishing
around in the grave with one leg. Now
what have you got?" ...
Peter 3. SpeckleWottle," said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, mentally satisfied that
there could be no mistake about that.
Anything to show whether he's
man OF 9 Woman2 demanded Mr.:
Spoopendykc. ..Any Mr. or ESQ.,
hanging to it anyWhere?''
Certainly replied Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, ut says Mr.. Peter 3. Speckle-
Wottlc. That's the way you told me
to write it, didn't youp Now go on
with the letter. 3
''rhen put: ! am dying, and { wish
Great gracious!' CALCULATED Mrs.
Spoopendyke. dropping her pen. ..Yo on
are not dying, dear; you don't want
the man to think tllat!''
why not?" squealcd Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke pose a man is going FOUR
teen blocks out of the way to get the
mail for a man who only has cold in 1
his head? You put it that I'm dying
or I II drop into that corner and write
the whole letter with one application
of the inkstand!'
Go on, dear, = cooed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, Il We got it SO; only he may
think it strange that dying man
should write to him. 8
Then say, 4 want you to get my
mail from the office, and tell them /
will be over in q day or two Got
that?''
Yes giggled Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Anything else?'' {.
.'What're you laughing at?" howled
Mr.. Spoopendy ke,s on whom tho incon-
gruities Of his letter had begun to
dawn. what have you got that measly
mouth Of yours stretched out like
dodgasted grave yard for? Think Tn
debating comic almanacp Got no.
ton that this letter is some kind of a.
rebus? Well, it amt; and it amt
minstrel entertainment with q funny
man at each end! What are you laugh
ing atp Anybody in the country
5know?'i'
Il wasn't 1aughing, dear, . murmur-
ed Mrs Spoopendy Ike, with marvel
5ously straight face. Il was only SYM
5pathizingg with you.
Was, ehp grunted Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. Well, when it takes the form
Of asvisage like you screwed up q min
ute ago / wantsto be hung instead Of
being sympathized with. Another time
you open yonr month like that I'm
going to put seats in it and start
church.
And cogitating on the vast improves
ments in his wife s anatomy, Mr.. Spoop-s
endyke, forgetting all about his letter,
rolled over and went to sleep. Stanley
H,sntley.
"A Dual Existence.
a woman, giving her name as Mrs.
OfRrinn II .lltfrnl1 Eu;nn nj Ct n,,,y Peal q