Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-11-15
SATURDAY Smiles.

The Speaker Of the House-the wife, gener-
ally.-Puck.
Some were taken and some were left.-Bur-
hngton HaUkeye.
are we nation of horn-blowers? We are
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Large ears are said to denote generosity
We nave noticed that mules give away their
hind iegs.-Sdn Francisco Post
At the theater he asked her whether she ever
saw four-leafed clover. "No." she replied,
but I've smelt 'em."-Sdn Francisco Post
"Ah-keep your seat" as the dog remarked
when he tossed back the foundation of the
tramp's trowsers through the orchard fence
burlington Free Press
Everybody will settle down when the result
and after that it is to be hoped that everybody
will begin to settle up.-Lo,oeU Citizen.
Mrs. Belva Lockwood carried as many states
as Butler or st. John, any how. and that ia doing
pretty well for woman's first run against old
and experienced politicians of the pantaloon
gender.-N0rTisto1cn Herald.
fashion paper says, '.The new underskirt
pretends to be full when 1t is not" In this re-
spect 1t differs somewhat from a man: the latter
pretends not to be full when be really is
Philadelphia Ne,cs.
"How far do you want to go?" asked the con-
ductOr Of west-bound train of clerical
looking passenger, who had rendered him
L'O-hoIuicu-uO Oill. JuSG as lar az Cf0C
money will take me-" said the Rev. DR..
Burchard.-Sun.
At a Sunday school in this city teacher
asked new scholar, alittle girl, what her name
was. She replied, ''Helen French" An urchin
in an adjoining seat sang out, 'What is it in
English?"-Tho'ns and Thistles.
The Mother Hub is Of such hideous mien
That to be hated needs but to be seen.
But when surmounted by pretty face
we FIRST endure-then pity-then embrace.
st Paul Herald
The most barefaced liar we think of lust now
is the man who holds UP his glass of whisky
and exclaims, ''Here's health" when he knows
well enough that there isn't particle of health
in the stuff.-Boston Transcript
"Julia. your father comedies your election by
majority Of one"
"a pretty close figure, Henry" she coyly OBJ
served.
81 should rather call it tie, Julia" was
Henry's gallant response.
Masonic customs: $50 the Arabians 90 to
lodges and come home late, Just as you do"
said Mrs. Mannerly to her husband who was of
convivial turn of mind. 81 don't know" he
stammered. But l know they do, for l read in
paper that when an Arabian enters. his house
ne removes his shoes and keeps on his hat.
That's what you do when you come home late
from the lodge. "-Teras Siftings.
newly married couple from the country
boarded Philadelphia street car the other day.
Wnen Tue car became crowded the bridegroom
gallant varOse ana offered his seat to a lady,
''Oh, Wilyum," said the bride in alarm, '.are
you goin' to leave me?" NO" said Wiyum.
I'm goin' to hold on to one of them feathers. -
We'll, Wilyum," said she, 'let me hold on
too" and as she arose she tossed her head
scOrnfully at the lady who had taken her lovers
seat.-N. Y. Tribune.
When man aims his gun at q cat. and pulls
the trigger, and the cap simply snaps. it might
be likened to the friZZes on fashionable maid
ems forehead. It is false bang. (P. SIT
may be supposed that it required several DAYS
severe mental labor to produce the foregoing
but 1t didn't. The Office boy evolved it while
we were footing up the election returns. Nor
ristO,on Herald.
There was little story told by Mr. A. s. Sol
ONIONS, In his recent address before the Y NJ H.
A., which will interest the children. When
was abroad. he said. ashort time ago, received
letter from young lady-a young lady three
and half years old and NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
MED by translation. wherein the wish was ex-
pressed that 1 bring her home large Indian
rubber dog of the ''pug' species. complied
with her reasonable request and she was de-
lighted, especially because of Its rare ability to
squeak when pressed to do SO. While handling
1t in her presence few days ago, and finding It
impossible to get sound out of it, she took it
from me, examined it critically for a few mo-
ments and then looking up at me with that
earnestness and sincerity of expression so pecu-
liar to children said: do you know, think
my PIGGY has swallowed his squeak. "-Jeacish