National Republican., 1884-05-08

The Berkshire goat its wool shall shed,
The bantam COW shall feed ON hay;
Wen milk tho ducks, all thoroughbreds,
That steal tho eggs the squirrels lay.
-Chtcdgo Daily Nsi0s.
The only way to get murderer convicted
in the west is to put rope manufacturer on the
jury.
IT takos long time for woman to get
into the thlrtios but when she does get there she
stays
REFERRING TO the hot water craze, the
Boston Post remarks that somo people are always
In hot water.
A CoNTENTED mind is better than riches;
and yOt you can't buy brick block nor pay
board bill with 1t.
n1GH-scHooL girl who 10 head over hoop
tkirts In love with her professor has christened
him Experience" because he is n dear teacher
UNCLE DICK OGLEsBY is about sixty-flve,
aud his smoothe face is one of the handsomest
aud kindest that will be Seen in the canvass this
fall.
CARLOS AGUERo, tho Cuban fllibuster, only
weighs li5 pounds, but when he strikes 1t SEEING
TO the Spanish troops as If he weighed ABOUT ten
tons.
mo-" said the ward politician, II am not
particularly ambitious TO be present at the open
ing Of the convention, but want to be present at
the opening of the barl"
Col. PRJEvALsKY, an explorer, is for tho
fourth timo attempting to penetrate Thibet. on
the sth Of January he was at Alaskan, about to
start into unknown regions.
MICHIGAN girl, at ono sitting, ate two
pounds Of Limburger cheese. Leap year will do
| that maiden no particular good unless the young
man has u 'cold in his head.'
In has been figured out by DR.. Wood, the
eminent student OF nature, that ifa man could eac
| as much in proportion as a bird he would consume
| whole round of beef for his dinner.
FRANCIS MURPHY, the blue ribbon APOSTLE
| began working Chicago on sunday night O
packed house greeting him. Quite a number
put on the blue" as token of total abstinence,
THERE are at least 2S0 900 children, whites
and blacks, in Louisiana, and occordlng to the
| New Orleans Southern Christdn Adroede there are
school Accommodations for not moro than 10000
Of them.
! THE Paris EU0noment makes, under all re-
serve,' the statement that prince of tho blood,
near relative of one Of the pretenders to the
French throne, has just secretly married his
housekeepor.
A BOXING match in a private room wac
gotten up by fifteen prominent Boston men, in.
Guiding several members of the legislature, to be
| fought in six Knockout rounds OF three minutes
| each for $3.50.
SOMETHING must be done to reduce tho
taxes ON the poor man." wrote &C country editor.
and tho next week he received a communication
reading: That's 1t, old fellow; keep up the fighs
for 3ocnt beers."
IF man wants peace to reign in the house,
| hold he should count ten before speaking a.
times when he feels as IL his clothes don't 1t him.
| And on days when the kitchen stove doesn't draw
| he should count 460.
q. JAY COOKE, whose fortune was swept away
by the crash OF 1873 is to-day one OF the wealth.
lest men of Pennsylvania He has Investments in
iron COAL gold, ana silver mines, and railroads
| reaching far into the millions.
THE indianapolis Sentinel earnestly advises
| its readers either to provide their houses with
| cyclone proof cellars or to have subterranean
places of refuge at hand into which they can flee
/ before the omens of coming storms
GEORGE AUGUSTUS SALA gets $40 900 year
from the London Illustrated Netcs for writing page
u week and occasional dramatic criticisms. He
gets another 81 0OOO from the Daily 1elegruph for
an editorial of column long now aud then.
If the entire state of Rhode L sland could
DO transported to one OF the Texan cattle ranches
and be fenced in there would remain of the
rancho au outlying territory OF nearly 5000 acres
in which TO pasture the cattle without trespass.
ing.
POPE LEO XIII lives very secluded life
at present. and audiences are by no means granted
with the facility as before. His holiness is
continually at work in his study, aud the present
disturbed condition of affairs in the vatican keepa
his pen constantly at work.
A BERLIN correspondent writes: "a singu-
lar light is thrown on the social condition of the
Berlin population from the fact that on Wednes-
day OF last week no fewer than five trials came of
in three different law courts which neoessitated
the strict exclusion of the public"
BARNUM has offered prize of $500 for q
| poem on his white elephant, which he named
Rose of tho East The verses are not to be
written in facetious spirit and are not to exceed
fifty lines Here is u chance for the Sweet Singer
| of Michigan, OF whom little has been heard
lately.
THE papers of New York city are guilty of
an offense against the peace and quiet of the
country and the good name of all the people,
whenever they bring the notorious Rosa or
Patrick Joyce, or any OF the incendiary implaca-
bles, into undeserved prominence. Indianapolis
Journal
GEORGE ADAMS, of the notorious Adams
Brown burglar gang of Chicago, who has the
prospect of spending the next twenty years at
Joliet, has just received the news that he has
fallen heir TO fortune oil SOUOO lett 10 MIN by hlE
father who died recently at Havorhill, Mass. from
the effects of a fall.
IN Germany the retail beer vender is COM
PEELED to give u certain amount Of beer-not foam
when glass Of beer is called for To enable
beer drinker TO see whether he receives the
requisit quantity OF beer the public sealer marks
every glass at the height to which the beer, ex.
elusive Of foam, must go.
NOTWITHSTANDING the severe measures OF
repression adopted with regard to the press In
Russia newspapers apparently circulate pretty
freely in ST. Petersburg, The number Of news
venders in that city, says the ROvoe NemyG, IL
$40, and in the public thoroughiares alone about
10000 copies Of newspapers are sold daily.
MR.. HENRY L. JOHNSTON, Of the Balti'
more banking firm of Johnston Bros. Co., died
al the Fifth.Avenue hotel, New York, on Sunday
night. Mr.. Johnston married Harriet Lane
President Buchanans niece, about the time she
ceased to be tho hostess ut the white house. Iheii
two sons died in Europe some years ago. shor
time apart
ONE of the ploassntest points of President
| McCosh's western tour was his meeting with Pres
ident Patterson, of the State college Of Kentucky
at Lexington where the two eminent Scotchmer
had struggle Of most puzzing questions in meta
physics for an hour or two, and then sat dowr
harmoniously together over heaping dish of oat
a nalra