Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-08-07
Miscellaneous.
Cured Of Borrowing.

farmers came III one after another, and soon
the little school house was filled with an
anxious, happy assembly. Mr.. Jonathan
Fuller the chairman. raped Tor order and
called the roll. Every man answered 70
his name, with the exception Of Mr.. HAYNES.
Nr. Fuller announced at the conclusion Of
ths preliminary business that there was no
particular theme for discussion and moved
that Mr.. John Bangs make remarks upon
any subject ho might choose. The whole
meeting seconded the motion with a roar
Mr.. Bangs arose and looked at the cob
web in the corner Of the room as If he
thought there va Inspiration IN It's dust,
Graper,. He then glanced at the foor and
said he believed he had nothing to say.
The crowd stamped and yelled. and amid
the diScrrd cou!d hc beard erie, of ..Gu
en-" "lun mast >as something. "lIufrah
for Bangs. etc. all of - hicn aus. took thr
olL farmer b, surprise. and. before hc knew
n, he wa, standing aul ba.Ancir. him,u /
against tie d,sk lhc uproar ceased an4
Bang, cleared A.- throat.
Wei. I'm not that >cn O. ciiilgn go,
wants II make hard !gcllp'> mon. eaca
other. bIt when | sees . screw loose want.
TO take a screwdriver and tighter IT, The
audience Uttered and stamped. Bangs
fixed his eyes on the Cobweb. then glanced
al the chairman. who acted as il be had
been shot. and turned hi, ewes from tie
speaker to crack IN the ceiling Now Il;
Is a very good thing 10 have a Grange. Il
Il a very useful thing to have II male
strong in fact il is the hest >crewdrivrr
We ever had. Loud laughter There has
been screw loose fcr long time in our
neighbOrhooi Deen silence Il is time to
commence tunln' YOUR screa-driyer OF H.
You all anow what boiheraiion /, is to
borrow, and what still di>a.reeAbler thing
i, is TO lend. Loud clapping and stamp
ing. 4, ! said, don't want any hard
frehns, but if any Of YOU have been both
cred IS much as have You'll not blame me
for saving Caleb HAYNES Is the worst nui-
ssnce ~e have lie burrows everything.
His wife is gettin into the same habit, and
the Youngsters, too. lie is the screw that's
loose. Now lets talk up some way to cure
Caleb. for We all know he Is good at heart !;
besides that. want 10 get a screw-driyer he
borrowed of me not long ago. for my woman
is about to take up the carpet.
This brief extemporaneous address was
followed by Wild cheering and excited stamp
ing Till the whole room was one dense cloud
Of dust. No one minded il nut the spider
who scampered over his swinging mansions
delicate carpeting and settled himself down
IN hrs back chamber IN perfect disgust a,
the behavior Of the Grangers
The plans suggested for curing Mr.. Caleb
HAYNES Of borrowing were numerous, none
Of which seemed entirely satisfactory but
the one sci forth by Mr.. Bangs 1t Was
unanimously agreed to begin the tightening
of the screw the next day and tha, the novel
method should be started By Mr.. Bangs
The meeting then dissolved and the
Grangers dispersed 10 their homes.
Mr. Caleb HAYNES wa> feeding the pi.s.
Looking toward the hill, hi, eve caught the
wagon Of Mr. John Bangs. loaded with
something.
Good morning. Caleb" Stl John
food morning. John Going to mar
ket ?"
"Oh. no. just merely thought would
bring You over few things. You weren't
., the Grange last night 2'
No. | couldn't come. Had 10 20 10
town last night 10 my old woman, cousin
Ann, to borrow futing machine knew
there was no such thing around in this
neighborhood."
Wish hal one. would loan it to YOU.
But ! guess there is something here YOU viii
like. Now here is new ak will let voL
have till YOU get ready to return it, and
"Oh. lou are too kind
And colire-sIinder and j first rate
gund-stone. YES. and here j. double
shovel p.ow-Jusl what YOU want for Your
new corn
John, YOU are a Christian Ii everybody
aas ike YOU this wuu.d be a happy world"
Bat before he could say any thing more John
whipped up his horses and started for home
Mrs. HAYNES wa, delighted with the cof-
:ee-grinder, and declared that She would no,
be in hurry 10 return L. While they
were hreakfasting the, heard the clatter Of
wheels. and soon after some one knocked at
the door.
'.Come in said Caleb.
Good morning." said Mr. Jacob Fuller.
Il am on my way to market. and thought
| would stop and loan you a few things
"How clever YOU are," said Mrs HAYNES
"Here is some sugar and nutmegs nv
wife put in, and bottle Of vinegar"
How thoughtful she is. Why. was
just coming over after those very things,
for.we want dumping and we can't eat
our lettuce without vinegar, you know"
"Of course not" observed Mr. Fuller.
"And there is spool Of thread; she said she
thought you were OUT
"Yes, am. Now | can finish Bobby's
pants Mr.. Haynes smiled and remarked
that Mrs. Fuller would have bright spot
in heaven. Mr.. Fuller drove on, and won
dered what sort of a nook Mr.. HAYNES
would have in the same place.
Mr.. William Boynton was none the slow
er for his gray hairs. He rushed into the
yard like an antelope.
why, what's the matter" asked Caleb.
"The fact is," said the old man, "i'm in
sort OF hurry, and l thought might as
well be a little lively. Here is a string Of
dried apples my wife thought you folks
would like TO try and thought I'd save
you the trouble Of coming after the weekly
paper. There is good deal Of news in it.
And here is scythe TO cut your grass.
Good day."
Boynton was off as quick as he came, and
had not gone ten steps before young Robert
Danvers came riding down the road on
gallOp and leading another horse. Caleb
handed the string Of dried apples to his
wife. and went to the gate to see what was
wanted.
"Pa sent me down with our bay, Mr..
Haynes" said Danvers. ale said be knew
you didn't like to borrow, but he thought
you needed horse for awhile" Before Ca
leb could utter one word, the yeung man
galloped away. Caleb led the animal to
the barn and then walked slowly to the
| house.
"Tell you what it is" said he to his wife,
"Fm growing 'spicious."
.Of what ?" she said
''Of the neigbbors. can't tell what's the
matter with them; they're getting too good,
besides"
He was interrupted by Ben Topham yell
ing to him from the front gate. Caleb left
his wife and asked his friend what was up.