The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1884-11-20
Marriage in China.

Marriage in China.
A VIVID SKETCH OF THE ORIENTAL AND
OCCIDENTAL MATRIMONIAL STYLES
Wong Chin Foo In Chicago News.l
The western races, with the pride char
acteristic OF recent graduation form bar
barism, claim their own to be the only
proper mode of marrying and giving in
marriage. To the Chinese mind, Euro
pean marriage strongly sayors of those
primitive customs in which the savage
lover picks out his intended bride and then
either steals her away OF buys her from
herparents. The stealing method is known
in English as ''love-match,' the bargain
and sale as a marriage de CONVEYANCE. y
l notice especially among Americans, the
former style of action carried to re-
markable extreme. When l marry,''
once said young lady to me in a parlor in
New York, my husband will marry me,
and not my mother and father" Her SEN
timent was greatly applauded
Being foreigner my opinion is probably
not of much worth. But if what see and
hear be true, if the information in the
newspapers properly present the facts,
and the divorce-mills grind as much grain
as legal gentlemen assert. marriage, So
called civilized marriage, would seem a
lottery with but one prize to at least four
blanks. There may be fundamental diff
ferences in the conception of wedlock
formed by Chinese ana European minds.
To us it has two meanings-it includes
the family and the state. With Ameri-
cans [ sometime think it means mutual
desire, and incidentally, family afterward.
A good marriage, and / speak from a Chi
nese standpoint, implies q home, a happy
relationship and children. This is 30 far
as family is concerned. AS to the state,
the home means public order. Happy re-
lationship means industry and peace, and
children mean the citizens and the vel
fare of the future. Now, how can young
man or a young woman choose wisely in
regard to these things They cannot act
intelligently about property, and the law
SO declares and prohibits all activity in
such regard. Is not wife or husband, are
not children, of greater import, of deeper
consequence, than real estate or testament
tary dispositions Not that parents are
infallible; not that age must mean wise
intellectually. But, other things being
equal, q parent or an older relative can and
will make wiser choice in affairs matrimo-
NAL than a little girl or a young boy just
going round for the first time.
The Chinese from time immemorial
have made man and marriage subject
of study. Marriage is now an institution
with us. So benignant is the system that
it has been followed by foreign nations,
and is to-day prevalent in Thibet, Cochin
China, Anam, Siam and Burmah. 1t has
stood the test of over three centuries in
extreme form of fifteen centuries as
matter Of principle.
The system is as follows have mar
riageable boy and regard his wedlock as
desirable. Marriage being both sacred
and u sacrament, / pray to heaven. or
Budha, OF Brahma, or my ancestors, or
make sacrifice according to my faith for
divine guidance and aid. | then secure
the tender offices of the matchmaker.
This honorable functionary then makes
inquiry as to q number Of excellent
maidens of good family. The inquiries
relate to the girls name, age, complexion,
hight. strength, natural intelligence, do
nestle accomplishment, family history,
wealth. station, etc. No woman should
be allowed to marry who is consanguine-
GUS i'll less than the third degree, or who
has insanity, consumption, paralysis, can
Ger, leprosy or other lethral disease in the
blood. The questions being answered to
my satisfaction, | request the match
maker to ascertain if betrothal can be
entered into. The parents of the girlthe
in turn make the same inquiries respect
ing my son. The matter is suspended for
q brief period in order to secure an oppor-
tunity for the verifoation Of the informa-
ton supplied. Upon the satisfaction and
assent Of the parties the betrothal is then
made. The prospective bride and groom
are duly notified, and the groom sends to
the bride wedding presents according to
the best of his pecuniary ability. The
bride sends to the groom appropriate
gifts in return. This constitutes a legal
marriage. After this the marriage is con-
summated and the parties brought to-
gether for the first time, nrst, whenever
tl,, Il Otc of n
tain age OF. third, when the girls father
thinks enough time has elapsed he sends
her to the groom.
This constitutes the essential marriage
of China. | admit that it does not have
the wild passion or savage enthusiasm of
the occident. 1t is calm, serene, happy,
beautiful Seldom do marital troubles
arise from such unions; more seldom, a
hundred fold, is divorce heard of. The
home comes into happy being; healthy
and vigorous children are born, and the
best interests of both family and State are
alike conserved. 1t may be said that this
So it is, if there should be such thing
as independence in the family. lt may
occur in Christendonn it never occurs in
the fiowery kingdom. The link between
parentrand child is never broken in our
land in this country it is cobweb Ac-
tions are valued in different ways. Let
the amount of happiness secured be ac-
cepted as the guaSe and the Chinese mar
rage excels the European marriage five-
fold. Let utilitarianism be the standard
and the Chinese marriages will be found
to surpass in domestic tranquility, in the
number, health and strength of children
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