The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-01-17
A WIFE'S DISCIPLINE.
MRS. BROWNS JEWEL OF A HUSBAND.
How the Lady Brought Her Naturally
Recalcitrant Matrimonial Partner to
Terms-A System Not Likely to Be
Admired by Most Husbands.
TChicago Tribune.l

lCn1cagO Ir1Dune.l
"You have a jewel of husband, Mrs.
Brown" said Mrs. Smith, her next-door
,neighbor, as she leaned up against the par
tition fence in the backyard and peered
through her favorite kuot-hole. Mrs.
Brown was airing her fur-lined circular.
1t was spread out on the saw-horse, and,
after stroking it the wrong way with her
hand for few seconds in order to give
the gentle zephyrs chance to get in their
work, she came over to the knot-hole with
her face wreathed in queenly smiles.
" Yes, have got jewel of husband" j"
she said, as she put her mouth down to
the knot-hole and greeted Mrs. Smith with
a neighborly kiss; "but if 1 had meekly
borne my wifely burden as most women
do, John, like other men L could name, if
necessary, would be very sham jewel,
hollow mockery, all tinsel and PASTE"
Mrs. Brown paused to collect her ideas
for another lengthy sentence, and Mrs.
Smith, with visions of her husband coming
home at all hours of the night and in
all grades of hilarity, eagerly implored
her good neighbor to impart the secret by
which she transformed her husband into a
first-water gem.
"In the first place." Mrs. Brown went on
to explain, sit required great exercise of
will power. My mother was fastened to
her grave by brute of man, and sister
Martha has never had anything but trouble
with her husband. When married Brown
it was with the determination that my
tresses should not become prematurely
gray. All went smoothly for two months,
and then Brown contracted the habit of
forgetting to kiss me goodbye before going
to business of mornings. [ endured the
slight only three mornings, and then as
serted my superiority. The fourth morn
ing, as he attempted to leave the house
with cold 'Ta-ta. duckie,' 1 caught him
by the throat and jammed his head through
the hat-rack mirror. Later on, while the
surgeon was picking bits of glass out Of
Browns scalp, informed him Drown, not
the surgeon) that proposed to be treated
as a loving wife and not as some cannibal
in Berlin.
"WLen George was about month old, :"
continued the man-tamer. she acquired
the habit of waking up in the night and
crying; and he would cry SO Justify that
the nurse could not soothe him. Brown
would have to get up and cuddle him into
silence. One night, when the little darling
was in real agony, 1 pinched Brown and
ordered him to see what allied Georgia. He
said something which sounded like Course
the brat!' Then he deliberately fell to
snoring again. arose, grasped the wash.
basin and smashed it in a million pieces
on his head. 1t was five weeks before he
was able to get out of the house, but it
taught him lesson. He became the most
obedient of husbands, and used to remain
awake of nights in order that he could
more readily hear George if the little fel-
low was disturbed. About two years ago
1 found letter from another woman in
his inside vest pocket. 1 discharged two
pistol-shots at him and he has not looked
| at strange woman since"
"What is that strange noise in your
! coal-house, Mrs. Brown?" asked Mrs.
Smith, as she shifted her position from the
left foot to the right, and attempted to look
| through the knot-hole and in the direction
of the coal-house.
"What, can you hear it from your yard:
Why, that is Brown. wish him to take
| me out driving this afternoon, and just
| locked him up before brought out my cir
cular. There is nothing in the world like
being mistress in your own house and
holding your husband well in hand"