Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1884-10-08
MIRTH AND MERRIMENT


IT which he wsp extremely proud. She
flattered him and encouraged hts van
ity, 80 that every time he bought
tighter aud tighter and tighter shoes.
1t was excruc ating pain to 10 about
in them, hut he would not confess II.
However, wher he reached home ia the
evening, his slippers were such a well
come relief that II was q difficult matter
to induce him to 20 out after dinner.
From n great club man, he became
noted for HE domestic habits. Madam
smiled 10 herself, but said nothing.
Young man departing for college):
" We'll, father, you may expect to hear
from me often, and trust that my re.
turn you will find that have not been
unmindful Of your self sacrificing
efforts to provide me with an educa.
ton. Good bye !" Father (with emo
tion): Goodbye, my ron, eood.bye!"
Young man Chree months later, arriv
ing from college,: "Ah, governor,
how de do Delighted 10 zee you, bah
Jove Beastly wsatbaw this, don't you
know ? How's the folks? Doosed glad
to get home," etc. The old gentleman
thinks of bringing suit against the
coll 60.
Dumley was making an evening call,
and the nice little boy of the family had
beeE allowed 10 remain up a little later
than usual. "Ma," he said, du ing a
lull in the Conversation, lean whisk y
talk ?" Certainly not" said, ma.
hat put that absurd notion in your
head" O. WELL" he replied, ~ heard
you say to pa that whisky was telliru
on Mr.. Dumley, aud I wanted TO know
what 1t said"
"Are you not ashamed of yourself to
fight with boy 70 much smaller than
yourself? really can't understand
It," said a gentleman 10 big boy who
was imposing on small one. $50 You
can't understand ?" retorted the young
ruffian, impIdently. "No, can't
swell, then, why do you NEEDLE
with things you don't underestimate
A boy who had been va-chin
through a keybole the antics of a
couple OF lovers. ran down to the kit
chen to announce hts discovery to his
mother. " oh. it's such fun - he ex.
claimed. What's such fun ?" grave.
| ly asked the old lady. Why, to SEE
sister Mollie and Mr.. Fipps play luna
tic asylum"
l
tic, -" where Is the dustpan ?" Will
the broom, ma'am." "Aud where il
the broom ?" with the dustpan
ma'am." Well, Bridget, tell me
here are they both 2" They are b,tl
together, ma am Seems you are might!
particular to day."
We asked friend DO IL learned IL
the ur,. in Of social customs what wa
the III. aiming Of casting an old shoe afte
q newly married couple as they star,e'
on their trip. Says he: "To indicat
that the chances q happiness in mari
mony are slippery"
:Ir. Brown lately went into the coun
try for the first time in hts life, and re
cords It az q singular coincidence II
nature that every pond he saw" ant
there we're many of 'em"-had liant
round it. Mr.. Brown is evidently
natural philosopher.
Here's your money, boy, and nov
tell me why your rascally master wrot
eighteen letters about that contemp
tible surn?" am sure, sir, i can
say /: but If you'll excuse me, sir,
should think twas because seventeen
didn't get it."
Yes" remarked the. thoughtful
faced man, it is tiresome to hea
e lgar's conversation hiss foreve
= talking about himself, you know. Blu
i, ri say this much for him; he show
! b mself to be thoroughly in love wit
his subject"
: "What Ia the matter ?" asked a la
I, yer of hia coachman. The horses al
4 running away, sir. " Can you not pu
them mp ?" l am AFRAID not. -
: Then" said the lawyer, after judici'
delay, run into something cheap"
Gentlemen of the jury" said T
lcumseh lawyer the other day, thel
2 were Just thirty-six hogs In the drov
Please remember the fact-just thrt
) times as many ID in the jury-boA, GEL
i IL EN- en-"
\ A cautious wife refused to PORN
J. her husband to go on fishing excu
: sion because he was very apt to g
drowned when he went upon the waite
and moreover, did notknow how to swil
any more than q goose.
Freddie, did you 90 to school t.
dsy?'' Yes M" "Did you lear
any thing new?" Yes'm," WIS
was It, nv boy?" al got on to sui
way of gettin' out for an hour b
9 uffin' led ink up my nose"
u They were speaking of q young lad
/ who sings beautifully, and one of th
o party a.ked :" Is she mezzo.soI
rapo?" No. 1 guess not. / thin
I she IL q Swede." was the innocent repl
of a high-school girl.
:, You had better ask for manner
1 than money" said q finely dres. 9
i gentleman to- beggar boy who ha
asked for aims. az asked for what
!, thought you had the most Of" was II
), boys reply.
4 "Oh, Henry I had such delightft
ldream. dreamed had such love
la bonnet rent me-" ibid you, IN
9 dear? Isn't it singular that / had
!! terrible nightmare, and dreamed l ha
!, to pay the bill?"
Il The expression, Uneasy lies Il
head that wears CROWN" is absur'
Il because no sensible king ever goes
10 bed with his crown on. He alwa!
b hangs 1t on the back Of his chair wi,
, his vest.
Sister Amy my dear Rose, VIII
2 are you doing? Mamma will he yer
y anery." Roe: why, Walter wan
+ to BE- like papa, 30 Pm just thinnir
y his hair at the top.
Il A prominent preacher recently chos
Ia for the subject of o sermon How
Is treat your enemies" The average ma
( however, thinks he has done his du
II IL he treats his friends.
"What is meant by the bone Of co
8; tention p" asked young hopeful, loo
q ing up from his book. The jawbon
: my son." replied the father, solemn.
y "the jawbone."
,oI "In what condition was the pat