The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-07-01
WENT TO HEAR TALMAGE.
Old Tom Blahorn Thinks That He
Has Found q Match for
Sullivan.

| liNcrcu q lcCluTc III bllllt INOCh ctSeTdl
days ago, to one of the largest au-
diences that ever assembled in the
state. Old Tom Biahorn, who lives
over in the "cut-off DISTRICT" and who
was in the city during the visit of
John l.. Sullivan, entered the opera
house, expecting to see ''some mighty
fine knockin'." Before the lecturer
arose, old Tom remarked to some gen.
tlemsn who stood near"
"I'll be dinged if Id like for him to
hit me-"
There is no danger of his striking
you" replied the gentleman.
mo, YOU are mighty confed thar
amt. A thousand dollars is er heap
o money an I'd lik= to take that
amount home with me, but fifteen
hr 1dred wouldn't persuade me to
stand up in front O his mauls."
The Reverend Mr.. Kennedy arose
and gracefully introduced the lecturer.
Old Tom, after listening a moment
shook his head, and as Mr.. Talmage
with one of bis characteristic gestures
SQUARED himself twisted himself, threw
back his head, shook himself, squat
ted, stood on his tip-toes, rocked on
his heels, sawed the air and then,
straight from the shoulder, struck at
the audience, old Tom "nudged''
the gentleman and said:
by grip, that was a thousand
FOUNDER"
Hush"
"Wall, it just was. A steer
couldn't stand up ergin such a jolt.
"Hush, l tell you"
eff you want to bet anything, put
up"
The gentleman moved away, and
old Tom, punching preacher who
had come too late to get seat, said /:
bet he could down Sullivan, don't
your"
81 don't know" whispered the
preacher, who knew nothing of Sulli-
van
SD put up my little wad on him.
He's got the action, you see. Look
at that, will you? 1t was regular
jig"
"Hush," said the minister.
"Wsll. it jest was"
The preacher moved away, and
old Tom, after listening awhile, and
laughing heartily at Joke which Mr..
Talmage had clipped from a news
paper and run in without credit,
turned to a sedate looking man, and
said:
"When's he going to take off his
shirt? want to see his muscles ?"
"Don't know"
"When does the knockin' begin?"
"When some christian defender of
decency knocks you down, and if you
don't shut up, I'll be the one to do it.
You belong to the combination, /
reckin. Wall. | won't srgy with you,
but if l had you out whar l could
slash aroun' nachul, I'd make you
take back them words calculated to
rise steam in the biler of any voter
Go on away; / don't care"
NV friend" said some one who
saw that oil Tom did not unde tiDd
the situation. ''this is not prize fight.
1t is lecture by Mr.. Talmage, the
great preacher"
"Wall. podner, you must excuse
me, fur I thought this was a sort of
prize fight. 1 amt got much edyca-
ton. but l can git as much fun outen
q sermon as the next man."
He became an attentive listener.
Eyes" said Mr. Talmage, "please de-
liver me from the long-face Christian.
I once knew an old brother who had
not laughed for ten years. He ap-
preached me one dav, and in his
impressively sorrowful manner,
borrowed twenty-five dollars, and he
was so sorrowful and delicate of man.
ner that he never again spoke of the
money.
Old Tom threw up his hat and ex-
claimed:
"Thar! If that don't drive the
nail clar up. I'm sheep"
Hush. or I'll put you out" said a |
policeman.
"No, you won't for I'll go out.
I've got enough to last me till corn.
getherin' time. Come on, an let's
take q drink"
The policeman looked slyly at the
mayor, and seeing that the lecturer
wes holding his attention, accom-
panied old Tom to neighboIing sa-
loon -Arkansaw Traveller.