Sun River sun., 1884-12-18
MARK TWAIN lNTERylEWERS.
He Considers Them the Literary Sui.
livans Of the Age.

beneath this woe-bcgone expression
was that constant disposition to mer-
riment suppressed. The only smile
that would do justice to the look is
Melnncholy's struggle with Momus.
He had just placed his hat on head
when Mail and Express reporter ac-
costcd him:
"ATr. Twain how did you like your
audience?"
HE gazed with an air Of profound
melancholy upon the reporter; took
off his hat; gave n great sigh Of in
tense weariness, and sat down defect
cdly.
"Arc there any more Of 'om7" he
asked.
"Of whom7'
"Interviewers."
"Not that I know off,
Another sigh, this time Of relief.
"How long do you intend remain
ing in the lecture feld?"
Il suppose I shall be out to grass
until my friends take me in and chain
me up. II very hard to be II wander
er on the face Of the earth ut my age.
You've no idea Of the risks run. It's
actually flying in the face Of provi-
dence."
II don't follow you, Mr.. Twain"
"Thank heaven for that, anyway. I
was fearful that you might. But if
you don't, somebody else will. They
all do it. Why, found Il Boston man
away out in Colorado disguised us u
waiter. He got his back up because
l offered him u quarter, and wrote to
his paper and said lot Of vile things
about me; that I was no good and
it was all owing to packed jury that
l didn't get into the penitcntiary some
years ago"
"Do you find much difference be-
tween your audiences?"
swell, I think I see n change for
the better in that respect stroking
his chin refectivcly. "rhey dom,
quarrel SO much among themselves us
they did. s'posc they're getting
used to mo somewhat. Besides,
havn't got to pay for bouncer and
that's Il saving. Yes, Iobservc moral
improvement, SO to ospeak, particularly
in Idaho and Montana. Maybe it's
owing to the fact that during the past
twelve months the mortgages on three
churches have been foreclosed and two
Sunday schools have amalgamated
with other denominations. You might
note these points as tho observations
Of IN experienced philanthropist.
You needn't quote INC as IN authority,
because my own personal reputation
for veracity is very dear to me just
now. It's worth n dollar for II resery-
cd seat every time, in addition to Il
reasonable reduction for schools and
seminaries. One can't be too particn.
lar when stating facts. Absolute nc
curacy has been the rule Of my life
II presume you are aware Mr.
Twain, that this interview is intended
for publication? 'Is it, now? That's
interesting" with animation.) ~
took the deepest interest in interviews
when I was in harness. Why, sir,
consider tho interviewer one of tht
most valuable auxiliarics OF news
paper Office. Now, don't stop me- fol
I'm wound up on this subject, and
beg you'll not interpolate any super
Auous yerbiage until I'm through
Metaphorically put, ! consider the in
teryiewer as the Sullivan of the age
You can't knock him out. An inter
viewer who knows his business never
takes it back, and the frightfnl asper
sions on his veracity, which are reck
lessly made by enraged victims, art
simply the noisy dwellings o. a sll'
perb moral cowardice, 1t is simply
appalling to sensitive mind like
mine, to see the monstrous libels that
arc hurled against these noble fellows
who regard with calm but magnani
nous complacency all such unfound,
ed attacks against their probity.'
"You speak feelingly?"
"Why shouldn't /? Haven't been
through the mill myself? Haven't |
sat and wept tears of ashes for hours
on this very subject? Yes, sir, have,
and when I meet Il fellow craftsman
who, perchance, has been bounced
through tho meanness OF q canker-
hearted politician I take him to my
heart and weep and sympathise with
him and cordially invite him to set 'em
up"
There was a case in tho Bankruptcy