Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-03-21
OUR KALEIDOSCOPE.
An ONCE holder-the pen holder.

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bonnet and hustle.
Only seven persons IN San Francisco have
become interested In the cremation business.
Most western men calculate TO be kept pretty
warm after death, any way.
1t is said that single hair will stand
pressure of 2O00 pounds. We have frequent,
ly noticed that single hair will stand the
pressure OF about 1000 pounds of butter.
A Connecticut man had to entertain bis
own mother and his wfe's mother for week
at the same time, and he says he is now
ready to join any show as lion tanner.
Glass shingles are soon to snpercedo the
old wooden kind, and parents can then see
just when to leave of sranking, without Inv
ing to let NJ three or four times during the
operation.
The French railway companies arc going
to try system Of warming cars by nj ,cs
Some travelled Frenchmen has probably
noticed how hot the conductor makes il fer
a passenger who comes into an American car
with pipe in his mouth.
A New York printer hung cut the follow
ing placard "No attention whatever paid to
| orders! Prices higher than any other house
| in the city Seventeen sraii business cards
for $1,000, 600 in gold-other work in pro-
portion" In less than week he had such
a crowd of Gus omers in his shop that he
couldn't pick 10 a galley Of type without
somebody running into him and peing it.
An exchange says that Garfcld's coffin is
not yet paid for, but IS the undertaken has
been gathering in an lnstament from the
| Government Of about $500 every week
| since the funeral. il is 60 be hoped that he
will etefoise some forbcarancc about pressing
his claim.
The largest bell in the world 10 Ct Kiotc,
japan. 1t ia twenty-iour feet high and six
| teen Inches thick at the rim But it can't
make one-tcnih the clatter Of hotel gong at
balf-past Elk O'clock in tho morning.
The American Aglculturist say that The
best bee for producing comb honey is a Judi.
clous cross between the dark, leather-coored
Italian and the brown German A rort of
combined essertis' essence Of hand-orpau
melody and lager beer.
Each one of family o! four brothers
dwelling near Pottsvie, Pa, has a wooden
| leg. They have all been paying attentions to
| a girl whose father owns q large bear trap,
aud IL not afraid to use It.
A little child, who wee playing near bon
hrc, suddenly tripped and fell into the
| lanes. a sportsman happened to be pass.
lug, and his high-bred dog jumped into the
flames aud pulled The child out. Tbs fIautic
mother came swocp,ng down from tho house
screaming, 'ts he hart" Is lie hurt 2
Dang IT, yc", mo m :" exclaimed the sports
man, who arrived at the spot just before che
did-"don't You see the feathering is all
burnt off his tail2"
A Connecticut non swallowed r niece If
shot, and ii worked lrtc his uralh and killed
him. 1t was the first thing of any weight
that ever wandered into that region, and his
brain couldn't stand the racket.
The man who was hugged by grizzly re-
mal.ed, on being rescued, that he had never
had such tremendous pressure brought to
bear upon him before
japanese widows signify their readiness to
marry again by the manner in which they
dress their hair. Banged, it means, Come
on plenty OF broom drills" frizzed, you
mo hpt I uril
plain, "pll try tc be real good, but you
musn't expect me 10 cook"
a Temperance exchange says, "Tnere is a
man living in Hickory Flat Ga, who has
l22 grandchildren and great grandchildren
He never drank any rum" We are afraid
this will drive good many young married
men to the cup which cheers and also inc.
briates.
The proboscis of bee says a scientific
writer, has to be thrust two and half mil.
lion times INTO the flowers Of clovcr-heads to
make pound of honey" Strange what
difference there is in the business capacity of
the two opposite ends of bee
adise is at the North Pole He has evidently
observed the difficulty men have in reaching
il.
Small feet are considered mark of beauty.
but if one could only see the feet themselves;
in all their naked cornfulucss andsooor pinch.
cd deforGi,y, there would be different sort |
of pedal standard set up at once.
Pennsylvania woman obtained a IL.
vorce from her husband, and then changed |
her mind and concluded 10 live with him.
She was at a loss to know what TO d. with
the divorce, until she found a woman who
wanted to buy second hand one at half
price, and both parties went on their way re-
rejoicing.
How would this ticket suit ? President,
Private Dazcll; vlcc-president, Sergeant
Bates. Platform. More pie for tramps.-
Chicago Neirs.
Road agents are anticipating heavy rush
OF travel through Dakota territory the com.
ing season. TO remove Gppyehensi m we will
add that it is the railroad agents who are
looking for the travellers.-N. Y C0Dtmey-
cid! ITdgiler.
1t was all very well for Fogg 10 kiss
pretty woman 10 stop her talk, That was his
excuse but ii turned out that his remedy was
worse than the disease. 1t set several score
Of women talking, including Mrs. F.-Bost0n
Transcript
1t is absolutely amusing to see an ambti-
)us young man lift his hat to an eligible ,
young lady of wealthy family, and just at :
bat moment receive snowslide upOn his
uncovered head.-LOioeH Citizen.
A Lynn man undertook 10 sift ashes when {
he wind was blowing toward his neighb )rs'
,lothes line on wash day and when the lady !
who had washed the clothes discovered what {
le was up to the crazest being in Somerville {
lsyum couldn't be a circumstance TO her IN ,