The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-07-17
HUMOROUS.

The dentist deserves well of his par
ty. He is always ready to take the
stump.
Familiarity does not always breed
contempt. For instance, there is the
girl and ice cream.
"This Is a warm wave," said the
man whose irate wife Haunted a hot
fire shovel in his face.
"I am a man, of enter-pries, re-
marked the burglar as he inserted his
jimmy into the safe lock.
The young man who went to the
picnic with the deliberate intention or
making a mash, made one. lie mash
ed pie.
In the bright lexicon of our girls,
during the ice cream season, there isn't
any such expression as "No, l thank
you"
Ella Wheeler asks in frenzy: Is
there anything higher than aboy's am
bition, that wingeth away to the sun
riven skies?" Did Ella ever timidly
inquire the price of the first strawber-
ries of gentle spring?
"If | were in California; said
young fop in company the other even
ing, 81 would waylay some miner with
a bag of gold, knock out his brains
gather up his gold and run" 81 think
you would do better to gather up tha
brains," quietly responded young
lady.
They got mad at each other on the
way home from school, and as one OF
them turned in at her street she called
out: "Humph! Who cares for you?
We are going to have the electric light
in our house. You dasn'te' "Why?s
"Cause it would show the pimples Oh
your facet
hungry CLEAN in his eye,
He says he's sought work DER and DER:
Oh, if he'd but chance to try,
He'd work his bones and muscles sore'
But just, ere listening to his cry,
Po MT to the wood pile by the door
II II turn away with weary sigh,
And you'll never see him more.
"Are you having much practice
now?" asked an old judge of a young
lawyer. "Yes, sir; great deal, thank
you" "Ah, Pm glad to hear it. In
what line is your practice particular
Typ "Well, sir, particularly IN
economy"
"What do you suppose makes so
many worms get on me?" said a young
man at. a Sunday School picnic. Il
don't know" replied the young lady
who was with him, "unlesS 1t is
because worms are so fond of green
things"
A woman applied to doctor for a
prescription for her husbands rhetl-
matism. sect that prepared" said
the medical man, and rub it well into
your husbands back. If it does him
any good let me know; I've got a
touch of rheumatism myself"
doctor, l want to thank you for
your medicine" "It helped you, did
it," asked the doctor, very much
pleased. "It helped me wonderfully"
"How many bottles did you find it
necessary to take?" "Oh, 1 didn't
take any of it. My uncle took one
bottle and l am his sole heir"
Captain P sat in a restaurant
eating his breakfast, when little cur
of dog came smiling around his legs.
The captain gave the dog kick,
whereupon snobbish youth arose and
exclaimed "Aren't you ashamed to
kick such small dog?" "No, sir"
retorted Captain P, land l can
kick big dogs, too" TRY it on, if you
dare" cried the snob.
"The Tale of Bundle Bee," is a
new book for children. but we would
advise the kids to keep away from the
tail of humble bee just as long as
they conveniently can. There is a
vigor in that particular kind of liter;
ture, even older persons do not
thoroughly appreciate, until they get
so tough that you can drive nail in
to them and hang your hat on it
without disturbing their serenity of
mind