Morning journal and courier., 1884-09-22
FELT.

Ladies' hats this fall will be felt Some times they can almost be heard, they are so loud.-Oil City Derrick.
 Little Boy-'FPlease, I want the doctor to come and see mother" Servant-"Doctor's out. Where do you come from?" Little Boy
 -'Whatl Don't you know mel Why, we deal with you. We had baby from here last week"
 'tI don't like these shoes" :" said 8 lady cus- toner, ssbecause the soles are too thick" 'EIs
 that the only objectiona' "Yes," was the reply. ''Then. madame, if you take the shoes, I can assure you that the objection will gradually wear away"
 Things one would rather have left ursaid Mrs. Bounderby (who is excessively feshy)- 'tHow good of you to come and see me, Mir. Pinkertonn ''Well, you know, Mrs. Boun- derby, the mountain wouldn't come to Ma honet so Mahomet had to come to the noun tain. ."-London Punch.
 Important information: F'Look here. This piece of meat don't suit me. It's from the back of the animals neck, |" said an Austin man to German butcher. F'Mine frien', Dere vas nodding but horns in front of dot neck "-Texas Siftings.
 Mflkman-ffTwo quartss Yes, num- Here it is. Only 16 cents, mum" Housekeeper- "But stop. Isn't there something the matter with this miIkP' Milkman-"Oh, no, mum. Perfectly pure, mum. Don't it look tempting now, mumg' Housekeeper-'fWeIl, must
 say, it does make my mouth water" A New York physician says that baby must not be allowed to sleep with its moth er Must not be allowedl Did anybody know of baby that ever slept with it's mother or anybody else? This New York physician ought to know that baby never goes to sleep until it is time for everybody else to get up. Then how the little darling will sleepl-Boston Transcript. Will Haven serenaded his girl last night,
 and when he got through singing the first
 song a female Irish voice was heard at 8
 front upper story window, as to wit: ''Is thst you, BilI?' tfYes. Where is Mamie?" "Faith, and she ain't got home from the ice
 cream saloon yit wid MT. Archer. Give us another song, Bill, the ould folks are out, too Give us Swate Violets. .'-Kentucky State Journal.
 "They've . man-eating shark down town,
 said MT, Jones to his wife the other evening;
 ttuuite curiosity fsI don't see what makes it curiosity D answered Mrs. Jones, shortly. 'Did you ever see onea" asked Jones. Ne, but I've seen man eating pumpkin pie, and whole crowd looking at him. Then Jones laid down his paper and explained
 that rnan-eating shark was large fish on exhibition at one of the markets. 'fSo you said, 2 answered Mrs. Jones calmly, ''and if the man prefers shark to other fish, don't see as it's anybody's business but his own" Detroit Free Press.
 Little Christine came dancing into Mrs. Popular's one morning. sI belong to club she announced, delightedly. "It's the 0. c. Club. We are the Cheerful Work ers.'n "I guess you mean the 0. W. Club, then,' said Mrs. Popular, kindly. "No, l don'tn insisted Christine. ''The other girls told me it was the c. c. Club, and I'm sure it isn s'The Cheerful Workers" rumi- mated Mrs. Popular; tI suppose that means, my dear, that if your mamma should want you to do something about the house, or halp wipe the dishes some morning, you'll % right to work as cheerfully as you can"
 nOh no.n said little Christine, quite aghsst;
 ssit isn't that kind of clubin-Harper's Ba-
 gar.