Morning journal and courier., 1884-01-21
STRAIGHT.

'tWho was the straightest man in the Bi- ble P" sJoseph" ''Why?' Because Pha- raoh made a ruler of him. ."-Philadelphia Chronicle.
 The Koran says, 'sGod is with the patient D After the doctor is called in, however, it often happens that the patient is with his God.-Boston Transcript
 When uncle came to dinner he always said grace before meat and the little truthseeker of fivo years said: 'Papa, why don't you go to sleep and talk before you eat, same as uncle does?"
 A new town in the West has eight saloons and one church. This seems greatly out of proportion, and the inhabitants appear to think so, too, for they are about building an other saloon.-Norristown Herald. Search the scriptures but when you are at the house of your best girl, my son, be careful you don't open at the family record. You might find something which would not be pleasant for everybody concerned. ton Transcript.
 s.Ain't it awfuI" he said to the girl at his side,
 s-That a follow like must deprive For with both hands he must driver" A real thoughtful look for a moment entwines Her face; then bright, happy gleaG
 Lights it up she cries: Just give me the lines, -Bismarck Tribune.
 A young lady the other day presented her self to the gentlemanly librarian of our pub lie library and inquired if ''An Idle Clergy man. was in. Somehow things had got mixed It was finally evolved that the book she desired was IA Reverend Idol."-Lowell Citizen
 yoltaire says, 'sAlI the reasonings of man are not worth one sentiment of 8 woman" :" True, Volt, dear boy, especially when the sentiment happens to be the possession of a seaIskin sacque. Reasonings of man are then worth about as much as an old lottery ticket.-Puck. A seeker after information wants to; know sswhen two young men call on young lady which should be the first to go ?' We have seen the time when we and the other fellow could have gone away together and the girl wouldn't have cared which one got out of the door frst.-Salem Sunbeam. We frequently see in an Illustrated journa, splotch of black and white called'A Study. It is thus called because it requires several days study to determine whether the top or
 bottom of the out has got uppermost; and the conclusion generally reached IS that the
 artist was wrestling with the deiirium tre- mems when he drew the thing.-Norristown Herald.
 A FRACTURED SABBATH. ssf7inme that ounln the old man cried To his son, . sprightly urchin ssIt's Sunday. yes but I'll have the h1oe Of that coon if it costs a church1n s.o father stay,n the youthful plead, 'sRemember to-day is Sunday; Gall not vengeance thy head, Wait, father, and ehoot it Monday" dGimme that gum" The man was stern. "And gimme no more palaVer; You are young in years, and had better learn | When a coonis in sight I'll have herl' The youth passed over the heavy gun 1 gun which himself hath loaded, l Like Q bold, bad, unregenerate son, l By the spirit of mischief goaded | An ounce of powder and three of shot, I I,adE7 E7r 1Fnadi in "a OnFh1 1nn-Q l And Rloatad over his hellieh plot | Like child witha Chinese puzzle 1 Then he hied away to S safe retreat 1 Meath stone walls friendly cover; | aIn wait awhile" did the lad repeat, 1 @Till the din of battle is over." 1 Then came burst of thunder sound;
 The old man-where was he?
 C1rled like squash vine on the ground!
 While the coon skipped up tree.
 so. father, fatherln the youthful cried, | fRemember to-day is Sunday"
 s.Yeu bet; but I'll tan your tender hide From now till the dawn of Monday" ! -Texas siftipgs.