The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-07-12
THE BAD BOY.
rs GEORGE W. PICK.


 and your pa Y asked the groceryman of the bad boy, as he came down the alley on Jump, after climbing over the back fence al his house in a hurry, at,ired only in pants and shir and ooa, of perspir- alton. There's your pa looking over the fence now. and shaking q piece of barrel slave this way, What have you been up to-
 @. Dus, been doing wha, pa told me to" sad the boy, as he picked up the cover of raisin box and began to fan himself. "lou sec, pa is one of these fanny fellers. in cold day in winter he wlll come to ;he table and ask ma where his linen coat is and why she don't put up the mosquito-bars. He thinks it is smart. This morning il vas ho, enough 10 roast eggs on the side walk. and pa came down 10 breakfAs, and asked where Iii sealskin cap and gloves were. and then he turned to me and said, Hennery, why haven, you built ire in the furnace? Wan, us all 10 freeze to deaths Ifyou can't keep a fire in the furnace will know the reason why and then he laughed, and wiped the perspir- ation of his face. thought it would be good joke to take pa a, his word, and show him that tao could be cunning as well as one, so went down in the base meni and built on fire in the furnace, with kindling wood, and put on lot of coal. After breakfast pa sat down in the parlor to read the paper, and he began to get ho; box. It was warm enough without any ire, about ninety in the shade, and pa began 10 heat up. went through the parlor and said guessed it was going 10 be a scoroher. and man would get sunsuuck if he wen, ou. doors Pa IS afraid of being sunsIuck, so he wouldn't go out. He sat there trying to read, and pulled of his coat and vest and collar and cuffs. and boots. and tried to find cool place. He went up stairs, bu, i, was hotter there, and he came down. puffing. The minister and two deacons called to talk with pa abou, the picnic they are going 10 have mex, week, and they said it was the ho;tes, day ever was Pa said if hell was any hot ter than Milwaukee i, had no charms for him, and the minister said this weather was refrigerator car in comparison with what pa would encoun- ter hereafter, if he didn't change his course. Pa was mad a, the minister for being so personal, but he vent on talking about the picnic. The minister looked at the thermometer and it was hundred and six, and he said he didn't go out ol that house till after suhdown, not if he knew it. Pa suggested that the minister and the deacons take of their coats and things, and so they stripped of their things and sat around and lolled. The minister said as pa was the committee sn lemonade for the picnic he better make some then, so they could sec if he knew his business, and pa sent me to the kitchen to make some. There was only one lemon, so l asked the girl for some lemon extract. and she gave me bottle of citrate of magnesia, which she said was so near like lemonade they couldn | tell the difference, and 1 poured quart of that in the lemonade pitcher. and sweesened it and took it in the pArlor We'll, you'd a dide to see them drink il, and perspire. They talked picnic and looked at the thermometer, and spoke disresperfuily of the weather, and sat around and watched them from on top ef the ice box about an hour, when sud- denly they didn't drink any more iemon- ade, cause it was all gone. Pa went in the kitchen, and l saw him examining the bottle that got the lemon extract out of, and he picked up piece of barrel slave and vent back in the pzrlor, and us, then the minister, who had rat his chair over the register. to get the draft of cold air. told pa there vas hot air com ing up the register, and pa and the dea- cons examined all the registers, and found that the aif was hot, and then they looked al each other, and pa came to .he door and spoke kindly, and said, Hen- nery, come in here, your pa wants to speak 10 you about something,' but knew he was holding that barrel slave be- hind him to hide if, and didn't come here, Henneyy, not very much. think boy can 'most always tell when it is healthy not to come here, Hennery.' Just as the minister looked at the thermome- tes and said is vas hundred and twenty, and ma came in the front door from her marketing, and shouted fire, vent out the back vay and got over the fence liftle ahead of the baTel sesve, which struck the fence right under me. 1 ain't no coward, but am hke the fellow that run away from the fight and said, as soon zs the chairs and bungstastess began to fly through the air, he decided io 1ss out honorAbly, and the oaly vay to get out hoporably vas to ges out quick Pa will ges over being mad af tvelve-thirsy. and ] wm % home to dinner. ] Zuess the pic-nic E.eeting has adjourned, ss the minister and the deacoos are coming up the side-wafk with fheir coaas on thesr anna Pa is one of these fellows that hkes joke if if is on somebody else. The other day . friend was q our house, and pa wanted to play . joke oo him, 70 he said he would ges him around back of the house, and get him ito the ham, mock, and as soos as he vas in he wanted