Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1884-08-22
OR kALEIDOSCOPE.

y cOlOrcd man sent a poem on "Fail
Luna to AN editor. and the latter filed il
with the memorandum "Cloud ON the
moon
The only thing which the opponents of
GOV. st. John can bring up against his
character is that he once saved small
boy from starvation.
The President of the Unit ID States can
not draw his salary until four persons
have looked into the matter and given
their permission 10y signature. To any
body who has ever taught district school
this will not seem veXatiouS in the least.
1t Is said that Gen. Butler was educated
for the ministry. Too bad he didn't stick.
Benjamin would have drawn very large
congregations.
y young couple were recently married
IN great haste in newspaper office in san
Francisco. The fighting editor stood at
the head of the stairs and kept the girls
father at bay. while the Cditor-in-chict.
VIII" was n Justice of the peace. united the
lovers
The Western man who advertised tine
biggest stationary business in the city,"
did not know why people were laughing
t' Hlllt IIlllI Il IIltlli St'lll MN II nIIkttl
dictionary.
y campaign orator out in Indiana never
asks crowd to join in three cheers until
he has previously requested them to par
ticipatc in one smile. He gets the ruus-
INCEST cheers of any man in the field,
y bill is before the British Parliament
prohibiting the women of Scotland from
standing on the outside of any window
while cleaning it. \ woman standing ON
the outside of a window must he a little
more scandulOus object than a woman
with Mother Hubbard dress ON.
There is ON exhibition ut Baltimore an
Australian fish called the goby The man
who presented il enjoys the unsavory rep
utation of having given his countrymcn
the go-by.
y Connecticut man who has just died
left ama~s of newspapers about ten feet
high. lie had not thrown one away for
six years. II il supposed that he was CON
tcmplating an agricultural weekly and
wanted t. have It GOOD supply of the latest
news
\ chemical compound has recently been
discovered which bears the euphonolS
4 name Of OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
hcnzoi Pun tn" peg out of .Io Cook :
name and set it down one notch
\ young man in Shushan ~ Y. fell
deeply in love with 1t young lady of Hoo
sick Fails She, alas did not rccprocate
What did the young man do Did he
NOPE around, and get thin and reduce
his fathers meat bill ten per cent; Not
he he went and set the girls fathers
house on fire ana then saved her from the
, flames. Success rewarded his bravery and
devotion, and now he is hard at work help
, ing the old gentleman build another
shanty.
. There is Il woman in New York who is
l always laughing. She isn't married.
, Don't lie much on the left side says
"A writer No. if yen must lie do it on the
= winning side.
The columns of Chinese newspapers be-
gin at the bottom and run upwards. The
/. Chinese seem to do everything just oppo-
y site from what we do
!, Dry weather makes the hens sad
Worms don't come mp to the scratch.
At Boss Kelly's political funeral the
musicians should be requested to render
1.-THE tune the old COW died Of
/ Look at Mrs Digby," exclaimed Mrs
n Blobson-''poor thing She actually be
= lieves that the sun revolves around her
t husband" well, shouldn't wonder if
2 he did, occasionally" replied Mrs. Dump
0 sey. II have heard that Digby used the
e rawhide pretty severely"
Out in California when man has kick
d ed his wife out OF bed three times she i.
r entitled to Il divorce It's no use for
n man who has bad dreams to try and kicl
{ Il wife in California.
l. If you try to get woman to eat frog
a hind legs she will hardly be able to con
ceal her disgust; but how complacentl,
y she will inform you, when you ask her Il
d sing, that she can't-she has a frog in he
d throat
u A real estate agent, whose wife had jus
"a died, commissioned a marble dealer t.
d carve stone with suitable inscription
y In due time ne received the following
4 Mary K etc. Up one flight"
= The lone fisherman is not SO lone now-a
ir days The man who tells big stOrie
"A about his thermometer has put in an ap
lt pearance.
is 1.-THE sun comes up and the sun goe
h down." sings Boston poet There j
Is nothing like living in the hub of the uni
- verse if you want to get hold of the lates
N planetary information
y wait till this tall - screams Il Cleve
J. land organ. That's right: he on the look
,a ont for Il big tumble.
Ii Stage scene: "IIullo. Bob The coacl
G. is full. Guess Wen have to strap you he
- hind" Bob ono you don't | ha'
O. enough Of that when ! was IL boy
~ "No,' said Mrs, Bascom, "Ebenezcr
~ not at home, but if you want TO see hin
~ very bad he is down at the barber sho
getting his head bamboozlcd,"
4 physician says that two spoonfuls &
salt taken daily will prevent the cholera
N We should want to wait till the chOlcr
Is got pretty close before we tried that
you have the flaw said the icwclle
tn a a tlut tried ia make LIGHT {