The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-07-26

fu wnka htm sAa ln1EAi1g seock of all Hayeoun,n vowoa the diaappointed Hugpippin. Ny johe uin he quite as good ss any q his, Ii lease, and prove as s:cke.ias fc him as his were so ne"
 .Haytoun, q aforesaid, vas . g,eAt place for cattle sho~s: and une day Hug. pippin met Jack DAu, and afker lAnghing Ike hyena tiil he goe him in good humor with himself, he advised him to get up new practical joke which would immoffalixe him at the cattle show which was to take place On the morrow.
 believe that wit is catching. and think what propose is joke after your own heAEt-pardoa my presumption.
 "Of course; what Is it.-
 There will be at least three hundred cattle on the ground; and ifyou will pro- vide three hundred punches of crackers, will take charge ofthem, and announce that you are to make A speech. When the crowd gathers round you l will SC that the crackers are fastened to the cows and % forths tails. There Is the big cellar, where the old meeting house used to stand. within nifty rods. The cattle can easily be sent in that direction, like a herd of buffalo, and ;hey vii ali tumble inr
 But 1 don't exactly see the joke, said Daw.
 "l, will be in your speech"
 What shall say "Cet up and say: Some orators are defenders, but I'm . beef-endes.' See D fender and B tender. Then I'll have the crackers fired, and the cattle will 20 to glory."
 sCood. III do it. wha, q stir i,n make. if any harm comes of 1t you musn't say the Joke IS mine; but if they like the joke, you nustn', say that il is yourx.'
 "Of course not. And you needn't care about injuring the cAt,le, because they lessen the value of yours, and the owners are all jealous of you." '.i know il. It'll be for my interest in both ways my fame as a joker and my pocket. Let IS go and get the crackers a, once"
 These great Jokers forthwith went upon their incendiaiy errand with much chuck ling, though from differeat causes. They found ii impossible to get more than fifty punches but Hugpippin thought hfty cattle would be enough to perpetnate the memory of the joke.
 The morrow came, and SO did the cat tie drivers, crowd and cattle Business was brisk till toward noon-when, ae- cosding to agreement. Hugpippin an- nounced: A Great Speech on the lm- pIovement of Cattle, by jack Daw, Esq"
 That great man mounted barrel. and the crowd gathered round, and with un. usually smiling faces.
 Begin with fust-raie loke," said several something to make our sides split"
 Gentlemen. will-ha, haw replied Daw, noticing Hugpippin's signal for him to begin. @Iou will please to ob- serve, gentlemen, that some orators arc defenders; bu, gentlemen, am a beef ender D and"
 "Ha, ha. ho, ho splendid loke,' roared the crowd just a, the moment when all the crackers began to explode. and fifty frightened cattle plunged madly across the show ground. blindly into the open pit which formed the meeting -house cellar-from which their loud bellowings and moo,ngs rose. in agonixed blending with the shouts and laughter of the un- plying crowd, who greatly relished the pracsicai Ioke, anu i.ushsi so .....sa. :.. A=: they astonished even the vain lac, Daw, whom they bore, convulsed with laughter, on their shoulders, to tho pit, to witness the pi.eous and awful struggling oi fifty Of his own cows-dead, dying, or hope lessly maimed.
 They had been driven to the show ground by the orders of the revengeful Hugpippin, who had been assisted in preparing them for the slaughter by several to whom he had teld the whole story.
 The horror and shame of Jack Daw at the costly result of his practical joke pre- vented him from ever trying another of any kind, and effectually car-d him of all ambition as punster. He gave up try ing to pass as wit, lest his neighbors should prove him a tool and the re- morseless Hugpippin, having avenged himself for listening to bad pnns by per petrating worse one, suddenly left for parts unknown.