The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1884-05-15

to his collection at the Fisheries Exhi-
bition." Good gracious" l thought,
..what a liar the man is, though he
it in kindness; no doubtr'O 81
saw it there myself yesterday"
This was the ale with a circum-
stance" with a vengeance, and yet
there the man sat, as cool and collected
As if he were repeating the multiplica.
ton table. How 1 envied his calm com
posture! But the tiend went OF to say
make him take you to see it, Mrs.
Jones, if he hasn't already done So"
he continued; sit is really worth
seeing. You'll find it in the second or
third case on the left, just as you enter
the gallery"
"He shall take me to the Fisheries
Exhibition before he is tw%enty-four
hours older" replied Mrs. Jones. Al
will get to the bottom of this somehow.
1 wish you good evening, gentlemen"
and she sailed out of the room.
suggest that?" I remarked ruefully to
Culpepper as the door closed.
"Very sorry if I've done any mis-.
chief" he said; 81 really thought il
was the best thing I could say. am
extremely sorry [ ever introduced the
subject; but of course I couldn't guess
that your wife didn't approve of your
angling excursions and that you had
made a secret of this little matter. She
is afraid your hobby might interfere
with business, / suppose"
Eyes, that's it." l said, only too glad
to jump at this straw in the way OF ex-
PLANTATION, and Culpepper shortly after
took his leave. With terror I antici-
pated the inevitable. explanation with
Mrs. Jones; but it was postponed, for
l found she had taken up her quarters
in the spare room for the night. My
hair is not gray, with years or other
wise, 'snor grew it white in a single
night, as men have grown through sud-
den fears" But l am quite surprised
that it didn't
The next morning Mrs. Jones came
down to breakfast with her bonnet on.
'.Where are you going, my dear?" ]
ventured mildly to inquire.
81 am going with you. Mr.. Jones, to
the Fisheries Exhibition"
felt that / was going to still further
shame and exposure, but there was no
help for it. What Mrs. Jones would say
or do when she found that there was no
fish of mine at the Exhibition I shud-
dered to think.
We reached South Kensington in sol
emn silence. Like condemned Grim
inal just screwing up his courage for
the final attentions of the late Mr.. Mar
wood, 1 followed Mrs. Jones to the
Museum department. We entered
the gallery; I glanced. involuntarily, to
the spot where, according to Culpep.
per's account, my great catch ought to
have been. Great heavens! what did
behold ! A handsome showcase, sur
mounted by the name of Marmaduke
H. Jones, in large gold letters, and con.
tanning stuffed fish of various sizes and
descriptions, the center object being a
monster pike. 1 felt that reason was
lettering on her throne. Had I really
caught all that fish and didn't know it,
Was I a somnambulist with adouble ex.
istence, catching fish (and sending them
to the Fisheries Exhibition) in my SLEEP
and forgetting all about it in my waking
hoursp The revulsion of feeling was
too much for mel fell on the floor in
a dead faint. How long 1 so continued
| cannot say. but 1 presently came tc
myself and found small crowd round
me, and Mrs. Jones holding a large and
powerful smelling-bottle to my nose ]
heard an excited whisper: '.That's the
gent as ketched all them fish; he dom
look it, do he?" Mrs. Jones perceived
| that 1 was reviving; she said: ''We
will defer explanations, Mr.. Jones. We
had better 60 home" And we went
home accordingly, in solemn silence az
we anne
On my arrival I found two letter:
sent up from the Office, also a copy O
the Fishing Gazette. The first letter
was from my friend Brown, and a az
DEAR JONES: That pike of yours hal
created a regular controversy in the Gazette
| send a copy for you perusal; the most con
trary opinions prevail as to the way you
caught him. Some maintain you throw il
Thames style, some in Nottingham. You ar,
reported to have used nc less that seven differ
ent kinds of flight, including two that no
body ever heard of. Some say your catch wa
made at Tenbury. some at Tutbury, some a
Newbury, and some at Sunbury. You are re
ported to have used a gorge-bait, a live bait
and a spinning bait; and one idiot declare
that you spin with a live bait. The funn!
thing is that all these statements are said t.
be made on your own personal authority. Do
for goodness sake, drop the editor a line an
"HUMPHREY BROWN"
l i SlOIuCu LII ORCuCo UuC oOuOl lObtCl
1t was as follows:
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, North Wales.
"SIR: think of all the scoundrels the mai
who, at a safe distance, deliberately approprl
ates another mans distinctions is the mean
est. l find that you have taken advantage o
the accident of possessing the same name a
myself "a name of which L shall hencefortl
feel ashamed, since you share it, to take tn
toned in the Gazette. write by this post t
the same paper to expose your c~ontemptibl
conduct, and trust / may have an early OF
%portunity of pulling your nose.
"MARMADUKE Fl. JONES'"
Here then was the solution of the mys
terry. There was another Marmaduk
Fl. Jones, solicitor, and he was the rea
Simon Pure, the hero of the big fish
But to live at such an unearthly plac,
as Pwm-thing-umy-no wonder I coul,
not find him in the claw List" 1 tool
up the book once mor and looked on
the disgusting little place. There h
was, sure enough. So simple, and We
so terrible, was the explanation of m.
mystery.
l have confessed all to Mrs. Jones
and she has ~graciously agreed, as 1 di,
notreally catch any fish after all, to loo
over it this once. / have written a
abject apology to my Infatuated name
| SdhOs wiz udo IdhCh liz uoGiSO WudUONC
of it; and now, by Mrs. Jones' advice
1 draw up this plain, u~nvarnished state
ment, to place the matter fairly befor
the public, and to rehabilitate. as ia
as possible, my damaged reputation
One word l would say in conclusion.
notice that a popular writerin a currer
novel has made his hero wrongful
take the credit of another mans booE
l do not NEAR to suggest that this is a
bad as taking the credit of anothe
mans fish-in fact, from recent obsel
walton, 1 should saythat it would be re
garded at least in sporting circles, as
very mild offense in comparison. BIZ
l am quite sure that that popula
writer, if he is a kind-hearted man, Ga
L have no doubt he isl will be pos
lively appalled,, as he goes on, at tn
amount of misery he will bring on h
unfortunate hero. l do implore him t
pause while there is yet time and let tn
offender make a clean breast of it s