The Hawaiian gazette., 1884-10-01
Tentaculnr Sciencn.

| EDIToR GAzETTE:-The report of the Board of
| Genealogy is evidently destined to grow famous.
If the succeeding biennial reports are as won
dertul productions of scientific research and rhe-
torlcal lucidity as this first venture we predict
such demand from all quarters of the globe that
If Its publication should be put on the lists of our
publishing hrms the sales would go some ways to-
wards meeting the modest expenses of the Board
Even gov, single copies of the report are held
at hve dollars each, mere literary curiosities II
would be pleasant, if TO balance the list of items
OF expenditure, under the heading ''Relief Board
OF Genealogy," such as monthly salary of the
President $50, 7. q. 4. 1910 lines $751; copying
huauhau mele Slo4, copying and recording Kuau-
hau Sl5Oz5, draft Pres. Poomaikalani, sundries
translation So, ditto Sl25 ditto Sl52 Eleie, print
ing S59i.4V,, etc, etc, making grand total of
$4,000, we should find receipts from sales at So
per copy" for this wonderful pamphlet of thirty
pages.
One sentence of the report has already acquired
great notorety in the scientific and literary circles
OF our little island community: "These theories,
although considered speculative by the writer are
but the tentacuar touch of science III a direction
that may bring forth facts heretofore unknown"
we all know that modern science has much to say
of Its tentative methods; but We must confess to
something of alarm well as establishment at
TINS 'tentacular' science of the Board of Geneal-
ogy. II is regular devil-fish, reaching out its
tentacles in every direction for food for its ony
orous nav. This Hawaiian devl-fish of science,
all stomach and no brain. has n most mcmillan
theory OF development. Acknowledging that "the
board Is limited by law 10 the subject of Geneal-
ogY alone" its idea of the touch" of this
sclence of Genealogy is something "tentacular."
Connected to the subject is the Physiology Psv-
chology, Pathology, Palaeontology Zoology. Bot
any Ornithoogy and Chronology and other scien-
tine subjects pertaining to the Hawaiian Islands,
without which the work of the Board would be
incomplete"
Much will depend we are told, upon the wis
dom, liberal mindedness, and the interest of our
Legislature IN the continuation of these important
SUBJECTS. classification" or analysis is
given OF the subjects which the Board of Geneal-
ogy proposes to take up. As this analysis tran.
scends all logical methods in its divisions and sub
divisions, We would propose in beautiful analogy
with IT'S tentacuar touch of SCIENCE to call its
lst OF topics, preheRsHe classification such as We
see IN individuals of the species siia when their
curiosity Is excited by something new Alas! it
was energy wasted to call upon the Legislature to
Pass before 1t committed itself to any further APP
preparations for the sustenance of such an organ
Ism with such "tentacular touchn For this
Board of GenealoGy wishes its work "to embrace
9ther subjects OF equal Importance The main
DIVISIONS are; Il Physiological ., Psychological
:, Pathological. 4, Archaeological. 3. Modern.
o. The Future" Under division l. we have an
enumeration of subordinate topics. 81, Color; 3,
height, shape; 3, Physiognomy, Head 6, Consti-
tuition, Teeth; 2, Sensorial faculties; 8, Numbers
children; 10, Natural selection; Is, Rat shooting:
~. War-tools and vessels, applied mechanical; 81
acquired habits; "a Drinks; 49, Masticatories?l S
together: "3S, Germs of the Principle of Mechan-
ics' ii, Religion 10. Deaths;r as if in this Hawai-
ian tentacular science dying was "psycolooicaI''
property OF the race, and not physiological pro-
cess. Under division II, PalaeontoloCical - which
we had hitherto ignorantIy supposed was a denart.
ment OF Geological Science" the 'tentaculars sci
enee of the Board of Gensalogy enumerates sncb
SUBJECTS as %, Origin of the Hawaiians Gene
aIogyl %, Antiquity by tradition; (Archaeolopyl
o. volcanic origin, System of irrigation Bound
airy system Under &c, The Futuref are men
TONED nc only these: 80, Fears and hopes, care
OF Foreign immigration, their government and
education real and active measures; GO, Review.
conclusion" If Pres. Princess Poomaikalani's
touch" of science is as "tentucular as this cIass
ihcaton and analysis her native uame is marvel
ously significant. and her head is nothing less
than "diyinelyr brainy.
1hls Board of Genealogy has a most peculiar
iuea anu method OF conducting its Investigations 4
II has evidently committed itself at the outset Tn
reseryedly TO the advocacy of geological and eth
theological whimsey that is one of the crankiest
specimens ever developed from our modern sten- |
tacular science The Board. Through the kindness
OF Lieut. jackson, late Il. NJ of the SURVEYOR Cen
erals department, had been furnished with series
Of maps and illustrations of deep sea soundings.-
what has all this to do with Genealocy? 1.-The |
tnanks OF the Board are due to Mr.. c. %. Berger |
Inc Secretary of the Mutual Telephone and Teia
graphic Company of the Hawaiian Islands for tba |
soundings between the islands of Hawaii Mani /
Molokal Oahu and Kauai The ignorant pubIie /
had supposed that these soundings had cost the |
government ST-JO0 more or less in order to ure L
pare the way for estimates Of the cost of LAYING Il
cable connecting the different islands But ii seems
10 nave had its end in developing curious BIT of
"tentaculara science. The report informs rs that /
Kauai channel 'the deepest part is nearly one half
OF the greatest depression of the earths surface al
i'O west longitude, 10 lT5 west longitude I'm |
DER the tentacular touch of the Boasd of GeueaI-
o2y, this fact Is thus developed: Bring this de-
preston above alluded to TO the same elevation as
the land at longitude 122 west on the American
coast and at Longitude l42 east on the Asian coast
parallel will be that when the SEA which no. :;
between the Islands above mentioned was land or
q continent within area of more than I5eOOOO |
square miles, the highest peak reaching to the ele
sail9n OF $500 feet above the level Of the sea-
Cheat Is tentacnlar science and the report Of III,
Board OF Genealogy, which is its mouthpiecel