The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1884-07-17
TRIBuNETs.

Thsy ara beginning to call tho wealthy cattle
men out West " buliionares-s
Old soldiers to tbs Democratic Convensio.,
" Fine words butter psrsnips"
Why Is il thai the days one ought to 70 TO chnraA
the very thai always pronlise tho best aa-
ing?
An adrnirer hes named = new variety Of early
peas the Grover Cleveland" "a Is NOS known ysa
how either viii she'll out
This IS going 70 be q very unpleasant campaign
The wheelbarrow Idiots have already begun 10
appear Ia the papers.
The man who says Pm sadasss when sing,-
must only tune up when tbs nine he has bet ca
gets whitewashed
Snapping-turtls fights ara becoming . navorfts
diversion of the people on Staten Island. They
are said to have many Of the exciting features OF
lively sewing-eirele matinee.
A Baltimore maiden has gone crazy over Eha
death Of a favorits dog. She should setter afeo-
tons on perfectly bald-headed man; he eaa
never dye. That's pointer.
Doctor, whenever take bath take oold.D
"IndeedI"
Well. what would you do7"
Why II a bath took as much OF me a. imagine
It must of you, should probably take cold, too,
DR. Parvin says baby should never sleep with
It's mother Now. II the Doctor viii kindly dis
cover some great physiological law that prohibits its
being In the neighborhood OF the father during the
hours that should be devoted to sIumber We shall
De glad TO exchange photographs with him. a. .
eenefaetor of his species.
II things keep o. In North Carolina AZ they ara
now going It viii not be long until the dates for
baseball games viii be declared legal holidays on
which it viii be unlawful to transact business or do
any common labor. As it is, the stores are now
closed in the towns while the game Is going on,
and the Mayors and other officials take prominSns
parts in the game.
Lulu Hurst. the wonderful and magnetic xfrI
from Georgia. has been astonishing the New York
people By lifting without an apparent effort 80
pound men. seated on heavy chairs, etc, but tho
conclusive test Of her strength viii come some day
when church invites her TO take . contribution
box, go down through the congregation, and NY
to raise the ministers back salary
Joseph Songster, Of Philadelphia. who wAs
"playfuily drunk, - tried TO shoot John auttons
hat OF with navy revolver, and lodged a a.
caliber ball in bis friends brain Now let us see
highly humorous hangman put = eomiaaI moose
around the joeular JOS neck and mirthfnIiy touch
smiling little spring THAI will send him henes.
That kind of funny men can't be made 10 scarce
Mr. Spence Bates. an English scientist says that
the coming viii have 40 teeth-shss the ma
teris for those enameled repositories Of berry seeds
and Jumping aches win be used up In increasing
the quantity Of brains There are some who
could have their brains reinforced by all tooth
material there 10 il an slIigator's mouth and sin
they would not have sense enough 70 keep them
from writing every little while. stop nay paper:
you've sold out to the other party"
JEFF Davis, Robert ToOmbs and R ~ T. Hunter,
three Of the active promoters of the rebellion
are still alive, with the prospect of several years Of
life yet for each Of them while the statesmen who
foied and conquered them have slept for years IA
the grave. Being as violent rebels as ever Messrs
Davis, Toombs and Hunter might study passage
II an old hymn with much profit. Il runs thus:
And we yet aIiyef
And do we yet rebelR
lis wcndroGs, It's amazing grace,
That We OF he'll.