The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-10-17
HUNTING FOR H..

teraGlOnS, DelnB unwilling to take any
responsibilities upon myself in a matter.
OF such Importance. Said he:
"There are more fools in the world
than you would think for. When our
geographical society met last we found
that We had got hold of one. This was
the new member. So I just set it down
as a maxim, then, that if fools can work
their way into even q geographical soci-
ETY., there isn't any place that's safe
against them. However, that's neither
here nor there; l simply mention it in
passing; it hasn't anything to do with
what l started out to tell you about.
We'll, asI was saying before. I wa
loaded up solid with my sublime project.
l was a fostering volcano of excitement.
1t was US much as L could do to hold in
till my turn should come. And when
it did come, at last, 1 was in such o
state that l could only pant it out in
broken phrase, with gaspings for breath
between. It made an immense stir.
1t was received with prodigious favor.
The end of every sentence was drowned
in applause. Iclosed by stating:
$50, gentlemen, my project, in a
word, is to send out a discovery expedi-
ton to search for n new and direct road
to Hail. 1 pronounced it hall, out Of
Difference to the society, all the mem
bers being religious; but you can pro-
nounce it your own way.
Il sat down amid a storm of applause
which lasted several minutes, during
which my hand was wrung by throng
after throng OF geographers, who said
my idea was the grandest one of the
age, and would make my name immor-
tai.
"Quiet was hardly restored when the
new member spoke up and said:
"But who wants tie go to Hall? He
pronounced it the old way. 4
''It was q most strange question.
Members glanced at each other in 81
prised and somewhat affronted way. and
said nothing. Then the new member
spoke up again:
Nobody wants to go to Hall ;nobody
wants to travel any road to Hall; so
where in the nation is the use in hunt
ing up a new one?"
"After an awkward pause, the presi-
dent said, with q cold and cruel bland
ness of tone and mnnner:
1T is evident that our new %acauisi-
ton is not familiar with the ways OF geo.
graphical societies. If he will reflect o
moment, it may occur to him that his
question need be changed in words only,
not in sense, to read, where is the use
In searching for the Northwest pas
sage?"
"It was al awful shot. I pitied the
poor ass with all my heart; and I could
see that othersdid, too, though naturally
we couldn't help enjoying th~eannihilat-
ing completeness Of the presidents re-
tort. But what do you think? It new
er pheazed the new member at ALL,
He didn't know he was hit-he actually
didn't. No, he looked up as sweet and
innocent rs the child unborn, and says:
"'In my day I have wanted to ask
that very question as much as upward
to 500, 900 times"
eff he didn't say it, I wishI may new
err stir. And he didn't stop there, eth
er, but goes right on as calm as any
thing and says:
"'7What do you want of a Northwest
passage, anyway, after you've got it?
Do You calculate that anybody's going
to use it?'
"'Use it? says the president, who saw
skull, and didn't propose to throw away
any more of it on him. No, we don't
expect any body to use it. There would
be no occasion to use it anyway, be-
cause the old routes are far better and
quicker and easier. And besides no.
body could use it. for the reason that
from the nature of the climate and the
shortness of the season it is simply non-
usable.'
"'Well, then,' says the new member,
rs calm as that door-nob there, what
do you want 1t forY'
"'Wan it for?' snaps the president,
rather hotly. We don't want it, we
only want TO find it, =
".:Well, that is odd,' says the new
member. ~'Idon't seem to get your idea,
somehow. What do you wan to find it
for, if you don't want it after you've
found it? AS I understand it, England
and America and other countries have
been hunting for it for fifty years, and
they've spent about $35, COO 900 and got
no end Of ships mashed up it the ice,
and no end Of men frozen to death, and
scHrvied to death, and starved to death
and SO on, and buried around here and
there on q lot of skinned rocks in the
Arctic ccean-and that's all that's been
accomplished; and it appears to me it's
a big price to pay and a long ways to
go just to start IN international grave
2 yard. Yes, and as I said before, the
thing that is too many for me is, what
do you want to find that Northwest pas
sage Tor, if you don't want it after you've
founditY
"Myfriend," says the president, pretty
fiercely, ii you knew anything about
geographical societies, you wouldn't ask
so foolish and irrelevant q question
Geographical societies do not trouble
themselves to hunt for things that arr
warted-everyboby does that; there i.
no occasion to gather together q learne:
and expensive organization for such
purpose. It is the distinct and peculiar
province Of a geographical society tx
hunt for things that are not wanted. W.
do not seek them out because they ar
needed, but simply to prove that the,
are there"
tits a big thing" says the new mem.
Der, sardonically, and moved off ant
pretended to interest himself in oul
new chart, wherein the search for the
Holy Grail, the crusades for the recov.
cry of the Holy Sepulchre, and the
search for the northwest passage are in
geniously contrasted.