davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
A Man Of Experience
Drooklyn Eagle,

Some hunters out in the Long ls'anu
moods came across strange creature 'he
other day. They tracked him Tor houi.
and finally tire him, discovering 'ha'
no wasa man, but so wild and uncou'h
that bis 81 ecies was for some time myS'
terry.
aCome down. said one Of the men.
Don't be afraid. We won't hurt you
"w-w-what year is thisH" beloved
tho unfortunate, his teeth chattering and
his eyes distended with fear
..Tbis is 1884" vas the reply
"still leap year," he asked, climbing
further up the tree and bowling with
terror. :,
eyes, it's leap year, but you're safe"
laucheJ one of the men. Come down
here and I'll tell you some news Inc
women can Oily propose on one day now
the Goth day of February. You wont
be well till after that
"Perbaps not" snul.ed the man up tne
tree. "and perhaps yes I've been tie
leader Of a church choir long enough 70
tnow when its safe and when 1t isn't.
What day of the month is this'"
"The 4th of February"
That's all right, and ] haven't had
ANYTHING to eat since the 2sth of Decem-
her. Never mind me, gentlemen. I've
played the organ mysel', and all ! ask is
hat ,ou say nothing about me. DO they
only have he one day, the 18th OF feo'
ruary"
"On honor"
"Tren YOU call for me the lst Of May
know one of those old hens will be
| line or two behind, seven in that tune
and Pm going to be on the winning SIDE
If on don't get around I'LL the middle
of June won't mind it. Good day gen
tlemen, and the man of experience wa'
lost in the topmost branches,
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
Training for the Cockpit.
Philadeip. ia l.ecord.

"Mor. care is taken in the training of
fighting cocks than was ever spent in
getting Slugger Sullivan ready for a
natch," said an Id chicken fancier,
Yesterday, in ansv r to the query of a
reporter. The speaker handled the
"birds in nearly every prominent main
that has been fought in or near the city.
He was one of the few who escaped ar
rest at the recent raid upon cock-tighters
at New Huntington park. Neatly-ar-
ranged coops, containing fine specimens
of the feathered pugilists, occupy the
whole of the third floor of his residence.
When a match is arranged the training
begins, and until the battles are fought
the chickens are constantly under the
trai ier's direction. The first object is to
harden the flesh and by exercise to in
crease their staying powers. This is
done by running then back and forward
on wooden table by the pressure of
the hand. They are then placed in a
coop of sufficient dimensions to allow
plenty of space for walking.
After certain am mt of this exercise
the chicken is t ed, and if its flesh
has not boz ed enough to satisfy
the trainer b. put through another
process. Tn. ,nicken is tossed several
feet into the air, and alights on mat
tress placed upon table. A hundred
times. possibly, the feathered fighter
goes up and down, when he is put in a
dark but well-ventilated barrel. A cou-
pie OF hours are allowed to elapse, when
ne is again brought out, and two little
soft balls fastened TO his spurs. Anoth.
er chicken is equipped in like manner,
and the two indulge in a sparring match.
This continues several minutes, and
while they strike each other visciously
no harm can result, unless one of the
gloves" flies off
A feature of the training is the feed
given. Ifthe CHICKEN needs little more
weight he is fed ON raw beef. Roasted
corn and the white of hard-boiled eggs
are the principal articles of diet. with a
loaf of spiced bread, containing eggs,
sugar, rock candy, and variety Of spices
for dessert. The latter is eaten with
relish. The maximum limit of weight
of a fighting chicken. while the minimum
weight is four pounds. The sport Of
cock-fehting, according to the old fan
cier, has largely increased during the
past score of years, and he declared that
not q week passes without q rattling
contest In some part OF the city.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
Didn't Go.
San Fran. Post.

81 say, Mr.. Railroad man" remarked
a determined looking woman, as she en-
tered tne Petaluma station, the other
dav, "where's the man that pays DANA
age to widows and orphans"
"Have you jud gment a1ainst the
company" said the pasteboard dispens-
er.
"Pve got my own judgment that this
concern owes me about 5000 hard John
dollars. Ny husband fell off your draw
bridge out here while out duck hunting
last Tuesday and thought I'd just drop
in and settle on my way home from the
cemetery Show me the man with the
sack"
"Did train run over the deceased"
"Run over him-of course not-sup-
pose he was snail, He was kicked of
the bridge by Tom'Tompson's old goose
gun and broke his neck
"I,m afraid, madame" said the urbahe
dispenser of stopovers, "that your claim
has not the proper legal elementsto war
rant its adjudication
"Talk California young man" said the
widow.
81 mean the duck shooting damage,
can't 60"
Don't, ell? And I've got to turn tc
and pick hops this winter TO support the
family, have II"
Locks that way, I'm afraid"
ooh; it does, does ii" screamed the
indignant relict. THAT Just settles you
hash. III just sell Henry's old clothe:
and his pointer dog, and start an ant
monopoly paper down at Shang Land
ing right away. If don't make youl
rotten oldtheving corporation get up and
howl before Pm through, it'll be funny
Tell old Crocker to look out for himself!'
and upsetting the water cooler with a
vicious jab of her umbrella, the female
| EearneN switched out.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
One Meal "a Day.
Newcastle Chronlclc.

Dr. George Fordycc, Nthe anatonist
and chemical lecturer. was accustomed
to dine every day, for more than twenty
years, at Dolly's chop-house, in Queens
Head Passage, Paternoster row His re.
SEARCHES in comparative anatomy had
led him TO conclude that man, through
custom, eats oftener than nature requires
one meal day being sufficient for that
noble animal, the lion. He made the
experiment on himself at his fayorite
dining house, and finding it successful
he continued the following regimen for
the above term of years: At 4 O'Clock,
hir accustomed dinner hour. he entered
Dollv's chop-house and took a seat alta
table always reserved for him, on which
were instantly placed silver tankard
full of strong ale, a bottle of port wine
and a measure containing a quarter ofs
pint of brandy. The moment the wait
er announced him the cook put pound
and half of rump steak on the grid
iron, and on the table some delicate trife,
as boune bouche. to serve until the steak
was ready. This delicacy was sometimes
half broiled cnidken, sometimes
plate of fish, when he had eaten this he
took glass of brandy, and then pro-
ceeded TO devour his steak. We say dc.
your, for he always ate as rapidly ash
eating for wager. When he had finish,
ed his meat he took The remainder Of
OF his brandy, having during his dinner
drank the tankard of ale and Afterwards
the bottle of port. The doctor then ad'
journed to the Chapter cofiee-house IN
Paterposter row, and stayed while he
slipped glass of brandy and water. IL
was then his habit to take another az
the London cofiee-house and q third az
the Oxford, after which he returned 70
his house in Essex street, where he gave
his lectures on chemistry. He made no
other meal till his return next day atf
O'Clock at Dolly's.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
NV Neighbor and !.
VI. Quad.

am mad at the man on the south
west corner of the block, and he is mad
at me, and it's all on account of nothing
at all. We bought mantel and crate
lust alike, and costing the same price.
We had things just of the sane pattern
laid down by the same man. For five
wears we were Just like brothers. If
had a sick horse consulted him. We
went over to his house to play old sledge
and his family came over to my house to
play croquet. I'd have turned out of bed
at midnight ofthe darkest night you ever
saw, and walked twenty miles through
mud thirty feet deep, to bring doctor in
case of sickness, and Pm certain he'd
have done fully as much for me.
In an unfortunate hour my brother-in-
law from Chicago paid me visit. He
said the mantel was very handsome and
the crate perfect beauty. and added:
"But YOU want braas fender"
"No!"
Certainly you DO, 1t will be an inn
mense Improvement.
A day or two after he returned home
he sent me brass fender from Chicago
He not only sent ii as present, but paid
the express charges. Some one told the
man on the southwest corner that | had
a brass fender.
ut can't bel"
"But he has"
"I'll never believe it,
"But I've seen it,"
Then he is scoundrel of the deepest
dyel Some folks would mortgage then
soul for the sake Of showing off little"
When this remark was brought TO me
turned red clear back to the collar-but-
ton. | called the southwest corner man
liar and a horse thief. ] said that his
grandfather was huLg for murder and
tha,.his oldest brother was in state pris-
on. | advised him Ia sell out and 90 TO
the Cannibal islands, and ! offered TO buy
his house and turn il in t. a soap factory
rhe results followed. He killed my
cat and shot his dog. lie complained
of my alley, and made hin, put down
new sidewalk. He called my horse an
old plug. and | he'd about his COW and
prevented a sale He got mychurch pew
away by paying higher price, and de-
stroyed his credit in the grocery. Iie is
now maneuvring to have the city COM
pei me to move my barn back nine feet,
and have all the arrangements made 10
buy the house next him and rent it to an
undertaken as a coffin wareroom.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
sktnderson VS.. skinderson.
Sam Francisco Post.

The other morning volcanic-looking
matron appeared in Judge LAWYERS court
and demanded to be informed as to the
very earliest moment divorce could be
granted to cash customer.
"Have you complaint, madam" said
the Judge soothingly.
81 should say had, Judge" snapped
the applicant. '1'll just tell you what
the brute Skinderson-Pm Mrs. Skinder-
son, mores the pity-what that brute
Skinderson's been doing. Flesh and
blood can't stand it,"
"Did he beat your" inquired his Hon.
or.
Il should like tn see him try it," said
Mrs. S. with an indignant sniff. Its a
heap worse. This morning ] was talk
ing with the aggravating thing for over
two hours Just arguring with him, mind
you, about new paper for the parlor-
when do you suppse he did"
"Tried to shoot himself?' hazarded the
Judge.
II Just wish the mean brute had. No
sir; the wretch rang for district mes
senger hoy, and when he came Skinder-
son lay down on the lounge, and says,
with one of those cold, tantalizing smiles
of his'n, Martha, Pm worn out now, and
I'm going to take nap. Just wrangle
with this boy for an hour or two, and
when | wake up I'll relieve him. If ht
gives out meanwhile, just ring up anoth
err"
"Im afraid you couldn't get a divorce
ON that" said the Court, reiectively.
Couldn't, eh?" cried the victim of do
mestic infelicity in a rage. "All right
I'll 90 straight home, and if Skindersor
hasn't woke up yet, III dump some 10
ashes on his head; I'll fix him yet!
with which consoling anticipation sh'
sailed out
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
A Leading Question.
Hartford journal,


Several clergymen boarded street
car in Boston one day, and one of them
hearing it intimated that Wendell Phil
lips was in the car, got up and asked the
conductor to point him ont. The con-
ductor did so, and the minister going up
to the orator said;
"You are Mr.. Phillips am told"
"Yes, sir"
81 should like to SPEAK to you about
something, and trust, sir, you will not
be offended?"
"There is no fear Of it" was the sturdy
answer; and then the ministef began to
ask Mr.. Phillips earnestly why he persis-
ed in stirring up such an unfriendly agi-
tation in one part of the country about
an evil that existed in another part.
"Why," said the clergyman, do you
not go South and kick up this fuss, and
leave Il g North in peace"
Mr. Phillips was not the least ruffled,
and answered smilingly:
"You, sir, / presume, are minister of
the gospel?'
Tam, sir" said the clergyman.
"And your call is 10 save souls from
hel?'
Exactly, sir"
well, then, why don't you go there?"
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
Cowy Milk and Butter.

II is essential that some defense be
raised for the consumer against man
who thinks his milk "all right" after the
COW has stepped in pailful, or who
goes to the milk room and the churn
reeking the effluvia ofa very dirty barn,
his clothing saturated to the knees and
spattered TO the shoulders. II may be
objected that such a case is positively
nasty-it is indeed open to such con-
struction. But is it unnatural-so it is.
But is is impossible-on the contrary, it
is true; | have not drawn on my fancy
for the details, nor have given them all.
| can't imagine what that butter was
used for when it got to the market, but
| am more than ever the friend of the
dealer who wrote: ave must dock you
four cents a pound on that last lot of
butter and don't want any more like it
at any price-it smells too much Of the
stable" Now the addressed of that let
ter had gained trade; evidently then
his butter was not always number four"
ergo, it need not remain so. When
conclude, that among the implements
employed by No. butter makers, belong
the Larn shovel, scrub pail, washboard
and hand basin, and that in proportion
to their non-use the possibly pure pro-
duct becomes inevitably foul,
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
The Thompson street Poker Club.
From Life.

Mr.. Tooter Williams had a bad eye
and several kings when the Rev. Mr..
Thankful Smith opened the first Jackpot
at the regular meeting Of the Thompson
Street Poker Club, Saturday evening.
Mr.. Gus johnson saw that powerful
brew of mischief was at hand, and pru-
dently laid down two pair, while Mr..
Cyanide Whifiles, who had severe cold.
pair of eights and very little horse sense
came in,
~ rise dat two dollahs," said Mr.. Will
liams, quietly, but with truculence of in
tent,
"Yo' sgittin' too brash." rejoined the
Rev. Mr.. Smith, testify. "Ef yo' tink yo'
s de Tandybilk er dis pahty, jess-jess
stack 'em up. ! rise yo' six dollahs."
Mr.. Williams considered for moment.
during which time he thoughtfuly ex-
amined the cards which with great fore
sight he had previously pinned to the leg
ofthe table.
"Icalls,' he said. at length. Gimme
two cyards"
Mr.. Whifiles fled.
The Rev. Mr.. Smith dealt Mr.. Will
liams two cards, and conscientiously
helped himself to the last ten-spot re
manning in the pack. He then banged
the honored wallet on the "a. BILE and
said
'Leven dollahs.n
81 calls yo'," said Mr.. Williams, secret.
ly unpinning the hidden hand, and
counting out the money.
to his pocket. "
"Wha-whadjer doin'p" pasped Mr.
Williams, aghast at this unparliamentary
proceeding.
"Fo' tens" said the Rev. Mr. Smith
showing down that remarkable hand
How many freckles 20 got on yo' ham,;
he inquired.
FsrPs jess-jess clum over yo' tens
said Mr.. Williams, with an effort TO he
calm and look honest. w
"shome up" said the reverend gentle
man. s'"'o-
r., Mr. Williams unfolded iour lacks
They were all there. 9'
Wharer get um?" was the next point
In Rev. Mr.. Smiths catechism.
u,,, Wuteh de pack, er course" said Mr..
Williams, breathing hard.
me Rev. Mr.. Smiths reply was TO
reach over and weave his fingers firmly
through the roots of Mr.. williams hair
Then he thrashed around the room With
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12

him for a few excited minutes and then
SAT- down upon him. Mr.. Williams still
breathcd heavily.
"Wharier get dem jacks?"
"Outen de pack" again responded Mr..
williams, making feeble effort to get
The Rev. Mr.. Smith butted his head
nineteen times against the floor with
great rapidity, and again inquired softly:
''Wharjer gettumY"
"Outen de pack. Lego my kinksp
urped Mr.. Williams, still breathing hea~-
ily' Again his head was butted violent.
iy against the floor until the landlord on
tbe Aoor above was impressed with the
idea that the club was refreshing itself
with a solo on the bass drum.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS." inquir.
ed the Rev. Nh. Smith, emphasizing each
word with a double butt.
"Onten-de "here Mr.. Williams fal.
tered, ~,
Smith with temporary cessation ofhos-
tilities. ,,.
aDe bug" said Mr.. Williams, doggedly.
Lemme up.
The Rev. Mr.. Smith unloaGed himself
from Mr.. Williams abdomen, rose, cross
ad the room and possessed himself Of
the extra cards pinned to the table.
"Dis whadier call de bug?" he asked
"Yezzah," said Mr.. Williams, gloomy
but respectful.
The Rev. Mr.. Smith assumed his over
coat. Then he replied to Mr. Williams: /:
"Toot, by de prowishuns Of rale sixty
fo'. yo' am suspended till de next meet
in, am doan yo' work de bug no mo-.
Mistah Cyanide WhifH an Gus Johnson
will now come down ter de s'loon and
rassle wifi a sassenger an some beer"
The cl4L then adjourned.
Mr.. Williams breathed heavily.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
A BRIDE IN A TREE.TOP.
Where. with . Dozen Members OIL '"o
wedding Party, She Was Glad to Cling

whore, with . Dozen Members Of the
wedding Party, She Was Glad to cling
Evansville Journal.
Captain Mccoy, of the Ariadne, gives
full particulars of the fearful experience
of bridal party in the storm opposite
Rockport Ira Zenor went
from Rockport to be married 10 MISS
Shryock, whose parents live opposite
]. G. Daughtery, who of late years has
been running the ferry. took the groom
and his friends, accompanied with two
horse carriage, across .he river on his
ferry-boat in the morning. Everything
went well, the ceremony was performed
and the day passed pleasantly until ABOUT
5 p. NJ, when the party, with some ad-
dition, started to return. They consist
ed of Mr.. Daugherty and his wife, Ira
Zenor and his bride and ten other ladies'
and gentlemen. a.,
After crossing an overlooking field
they reached clump of trees on tne
edge of the river bank, when the storm
struck the frail boat, overturnlng IT,
The party clung to the trees and remain
ed in the branches two hours. when
they were rescued By a colored man
and his skiif. They remained at the
colored mans house until morning,
when they righted their ferry y-boat ana
went to Rockport, thankful to be alive;
The weather was so cold the clothing OF
the sufferers froze on them, and 1t Is
wonderful that no lives were lost,
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
A shark Eleven Yard. Long.
Panama Star.

A shark was captured at Taboea on
Friday last by Senior Valerie Lopez
which measured In length 40 centimetres
in length 1t was taken with q harpon,
and when dragged on shore it caused the
greatest excitement among the villagers.
An animal eleven yards in length wou'o
not be pleasant fellow to tackle either
on land or shore, particularly when' as
an informant states, although it hs
no teeth it's mouth is large enough "
hold horse" The amateur photogiI
pher of the Veltor Pisani photograph
the animal, and obtained o good picture
Of It, with his jaws half opened ana y.
fnll-erown boy standing UPRIGHT In "
mouth.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
y. =. ?. pINsNoRE

~ streets Of Brugee town
EAy Whsts wt1h dust and summer sun,
~ tinilmg goat bciis slowly passed
A. milking timo ere day was done.
An aneisat weaver at his loom.
w txsmbling hands his shuttle piled.
VA rpsss grew beneath his touch
Ana slowly hucs were multiplied.
Ihe slant sun through the open door,
Fell bright, and reddened warp and woof'
. hcn with cry Of pain little bird
A .,estling stork. from on the roof,
wounded, nuttered in and sat
ON the old mans outstretched hand;
.sr Lord" he murmured. under breath,
.'.st thou sent me this fittle friend?"
4, 70 his lonely heart he pressed
roe little one, and vowed no harm
should reach IL there. So, day by day.
Csrcssed and sheltered by his arm,
alse young stork grew space. and from
The looms high beams looked down with eyes
u silent love upon his ancient friend.
As two lone ones might sympathize.
Atlast the loom was hushcd; no more
The deftly-handled shuttle hew;
No more the westering sunlight fell
where blushina silken roses grew.
Al through the streets of Bruges town
Tsy strange hands cared for, 10 HE last
And lonely rest, meath darkening skies
The ancient weaver slowly passed.;
Then strange sights met the saze of all;
A great white stork, with wing-beats slow,
Too cad TO leave the friend he loved.
with dropping head, few circling low,
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
Wipkirs' Star Proverbs.
whitehall Times.

A light purse darkens the heart.
Air castles are built from sunbeams.
Momentarv joys combine to make
years Of happiness.
Eloquent prayers please men-fervent
ones delight God,
When heart string snaps, the report
reaches heaven.
The man who owes must dig until his
debt is sspade.
Ideas are the soldiers and good iudp-
ment the general.
Plant seeds of idleness if you wish to
raise gibbet timber.
Characters are wrecked when consci-
sncs becomes careless and bad pilot.
To defend the smiles of your enemy.
you may lose the smiles Of your friends.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
AN ADVENTUROUS BOY.
How n BROOKLYN Lad OF IS Is seeking
His Fortune seven Months Missing.
BROOKLYN Eagle:

The police authorities received notice
that little boy named Philip Griffith,
whose parents reside at S25 Fifth avenue,
was missing fiom his home, and that all
efforts to find him have proved unavail-
ing. This is the third or fourth time
that the police have been notified of the
little fellows absence from home, and,
although they have used their utmos:
endeavors to ascertain his whereabouts,
they have met with no success. On the
18th of August, the boy who was thinly
clad walked ont Of the house, saying that
he was going TO play. Since then he has
never been seen by his parents, although
they have telegraphed all over the coun-
try and have used every means within
their power to reclaim their lost boy.
An Eagle reporter had an interview
with Mr.. and Mrs. Griffith and obtain
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12

To climb hill man must aust, ~ gown w,'s a
awake but dead man can roll oo"h q
hill.
As the golden momente pass ss,osr osr' and nd
thew sprinkle the hair with sil'ei' an"
fill the mind with gold
An elegant church may tickle the ne Pee Psbs
~ an avep II God is not tickled by the
high steeple.
sleep takes away the senses, yet YET We q
wonld have none to take away were II
not for sleep.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12

q. p. Putnanrs Sons are preparing a
new edition of Washington lrving's
works in seven volumes. 1t is to be
printed from new type, sold at a low
price, and called the "Stuyvesant Edi-
fiop
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12

Che Nah. the Chinese dwarf, wants a
wife ~ small as himself.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12
A RUN ON BLUE PILLS.
People Who Look After Their Ltvers In
the Month of March.

P.op,e who Look Aner Their Livers In
the Month of March.
Philadelphia Times.
"Gimme a good big dose of mercury"
said traveller, dropping his valise on
the counter Of a Chestnut street drug
store last night.
"How much five or six grains?" in
quired the clerk.
"Do you call that a dose?"
"Yes."
"Well, then, give me about double that
quantity"
But" interposed the pill compound
er.
Young man." interrupted the bilious
traveller, Il don't want your adv.c I've
got to bolt this pill and want it to be big
enough to do its work."
Every WELL" answered the clerk, and
he brought five-grain pill.
"How many grains" asked the travel
er, cycling the mercurial morsel.
Twelve and a-half," replied the clerk
unhesitatingly as he filed the tumbler
with water.
The travellers face assumed martyr
like expression. He threw his head
back, fixed his eyes upon the ceiling,
opened his mouth and cast the pill into
the cavern. Then he washed it down
with water, paid ten cents 20 the clerk
grabbed his valise and departed.
"Do you have many such callers ?" in
quired the reporter.
"Well, should say so. Why, you've
no idea how many people have a mania
for taking pills. We have customers
that come here regularly once week
and take pill or two. We sell more
pills between nine o'clock at night and
two in the morning than we do all day
About this time of the year we have a
run on blue pills. Men who take cath.
artics all winter get it into their heads
that they become bilious in the spring
and must doctor their livers with mer-
curry. There's a hotel clerk who comes
here regularly once a week In March
and each time swallows a dose of mer.
curry.
The Osceola times., 1884-04-12

another man drops in here every
other night and bolts a single cathartic
pill each. trip. l said to him the other
night, "Why don't you buy box of
those pills ahd take them home with
Won ., No, ba renlied If I did that