davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13
Poetry.
An Archaeological Congress.

There's none can tell about my birth.
For I'm big as the big, round earth;
Ie young immortals, clear the track
I'm the boss old Joke on the carpet tack"
Thus spoke
A Joke
With solemn croak;
And rs he said.
Upon his head
He stood, and waited for the tread
OF thoughtless wight
Who In the night
Gets up. arrxyed In robes OF white.
And indiscreet.
With unsbod feet,
Prowls round for something good to eat.
But other Jokes
His speech provokes,
And old and bald and lame and gray.
With scorn supreme they say him Nay:
And bid him hold his unweaned tongue,
For they were old ere he was young.
So hot
They grew.
This c0mplOt
Crew,
They laid plan
To catch n man,
That all the clan
Might then trepan
His skull with Jokes. They thus began:
First Mule, his heel Its skill to try,
Amid his ribs bewildered laid,
And back rccoicd. he well knew why
"lnsurance man." he family said.
Next Stove Pipe. as hot AS fire;
PUT up" he cried. In accents bold,
With elbow joint he struck the lyre
And knocked the weather bureau cold.
But then Ice Cream, with hair so gray,
Three thousand years before the food
Cold, bitter cold. will be that day
Thou dost not warm the testers blood.
spoons for The spooney." was her song,
That dragged Its deathless length along.
And longer had she sung. but with frown
The Pie. impotent rose.
And said. Behold am the funny clown.
And without me there Is no joke that goc-
To every journal In the land
| lend my omnipresent hand;
I've filled in jokes OF every grade
since ever jokes and pies were make
Detected oyster at his side
4 soft. half drown-ded voice applied.
And said that he was there
And it was hardly fair. tfarc0
To forget that the fdIr. (fs(rli(rleD
Charged liberal fare (fsirl
For him at the church fair. (fare)
While in the tub he swain and choksd
For want OF air (o-f air. (of air.
With heart unripe and notified hide
Pale Waterinrioncholly sighed.
And-hut the muse would find it vain
10 give the list OF all the train:
The hairless, toothless. purhlnd crew
That burst on mans a.ionshed view.
The bulldog and the garden gate.
The girl. papa in wrathful state;
Nanma-in-law. the leaihern clam:
The midnight cat. the rampant ram;
The fly. the goaf. the skating rink.
All the Old thing that YOU can think
And a, these jokes about him cried
Their victim. man. lay down and died.
Il. J. Burdette.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13

When the late bishop of London reyi,
tied the University Chapel at Cambridge,
after long absence, he found the same YER
ger there whom he remembered in ls col,
lege days, and said to him: "You have
much to be grateful for" Il have. indeed.
my lord replied the old man, .for have
heard every sermon that has b5en preached
IN the chapel for fifty years, and bless the
Lord, | am Christian still"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13
ScOtfs Emulsion OF Pure
Cod Liver OIL with Hynouho.,n.,..

In General Debility and Eaaciation.
Is = most valuable food and medicine where,
the appetite is poor, and the ordinary food
does not seem to nourish the body. This is
easily digested and assimilated and riyes
strength and vigor to the enfeebed body.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13

1t was in an Illinois court-"Have
you," asked the judge ofa recently con-
victed man, "anything to offer the court be-
fore sentence is passed ?" "No, your hon
or" replied the prisoner "my lawyer took
my last cent"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13
Hotel and B0arliEg H.ls Furnishings
a spE(GAL1H.
BlAtk and (o!nretl siILs Cashm res,
VeIvsrs. (IOaLs. 1Ho.B~vy, GiOSes
and a fuit lIn. of small Wares
run.uaniIv In stock

Orders solicited. Samples sent. Corre-ppn
dence promptly attended To. Satisfactory prices
guaranteed. lNss
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13

G E-We II II n. p Tr-T y. J--Tir.; auI T!irl
udst .t each mouth. oNreG; June July and August
-a"n i.r'f, NrlF flr,I MpuaAv.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13

7 y q" F-ITl TIoDT- y f'-EvOTH FTIlaT-
uS,1Eo pErrr W.EsVtN ->.r,,ad ara tourt' Tue
GN.-
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1884-11-13

There's none can tell about my birth.
For I'm big as the big. round earth;
We young immortals, clear the track
I'm the boss old Joke on the carpet tack"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1884-05-11
SPOKES From THE hub.

Boston, May 10. AT the annual meeting of
the Society OF Arts, Thursday evening tho Institute
OF Technology Professor Edward c. Pickering OF Harry
ard College, read paper upon The Proper Method OF
Measuring C0lOrs."
The Rev. DR.. 8. X Lathrop, he Rev. Dr. Rufus Ellis
the Rev Dr. John H. Morrison the Rev. Edward j.
Young. George g. Hale, Henry b. Rogers and Arthur T.
Lyman chosen this week directors Of the Society
for the Promotion OF Theological Education.
At special meeting Of the Eastern Yacht Club. Tues
day evening" at the Parker House, Henry g. Hovey. OF
the Fortuna, elected Commodore in place of Dudley
l.. Pckmsn resigned.
cety Wednesday addresses made upon the life and
services Of Professor Wells Williamson Yale, and Pro-
lessor Ezra Abbot. OF Harvard The former pres-
dent of the society and OF the Chinese
scholars In America After the addresses Professor Will
lam d. Whitney OF Yale, chosen president. and Pro-
sDondH secretary Tine society Will meet In Baltimore In
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1884-05-11
CHICAGO.
JURY TRIAL-HOTELS-MR ARNOLD AS A
BUGABOO.
(BY TELEGRAPH To THE rRrBuSEl

By TELEGRAPH To THE TRIBUSEJ
CHICAGO, May 10.-The beauties of the jury sys-
TEN have been amply disclosed in the McKeague
trial during the week Five days have been cx-
pended aud up to Friday night eight Jurors had been
accepted this, out of panel numbering nearly 200
men with few exceptions of welknovn business
standing The deputies made an attempt to SUBJ
pena men OF this character, but after all they
proved weak under the fire of counsel and court
and with rarely an exception showed IA determined
front to not serve the panel Out of 80 ex-
amned eight accepted and the fault did not lie
with the counsel Robust-lOokng men announced
themselves invads very few believed in hanging
on crcumstantial evidence; all had read the news
paper accounts of the tragedy; Philip Armour. the
wealthy pork dealer. had acquired a prejudice
against the prisoner which evidence could not re-
move; Potter and Franklin McVeagh were not
physically able to endure the strain of trial and
80 it ran to the end of the list. The only display of
apparent frankness was that of q shoemaker who
NOT only believed i'll hanging but would himself like
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1884-05-11
ts no secret that thcbcys in question are two sons

lis no secret that thosbcys in question arc '"o 'o"'
of Dir. Hughes
Tho Arnold hoax has provoked. as might DO eA-
pected some sharp criticism in the Engiish press
That ANYBODY should have been imposed upon w !"
is what seems to English men of letters all ou' III
credible at really is surprising observes one U,
them. I" that not only The Chicago H!o""e pu,
many of the leading literary men.oi the Guy snou,
have takop an article of such crudity and bad taste
for a oenuine production of Mr.. Arn6lds Stronger
savings than that may be heard III private
Five hundred pounds sterling for one oil TWO
volumes with no chance of ever finding the secohu
may be called large price. This Is the sum wiii.n
was bid on Monday by dealer for Lord Gosiorus
COPY of one-half the Mazarn Bible, so-calIeo oc-
cause q copy was first discovered III the Mal'iin
Library at Paris 1t passes for being the first BOOK
printed with metal types by Gutenberg at Mayehce'
some whore from 1850 to 1855. the Imes' WIFI i's
usual want of photographed knowledge, remarks
that the sum paid was not more thar was expected
from tho great rarity of the book, though we DC
lovc the price paid for the Mazarin Bible III the
Althorp Library many years ago was 700 guneas"
As if little account were to be taken of the tact tha
the present copy is but fragment. Or as if the
Althorp were the latest known instance. What sort
of q photographer must he be who could forget the
Perkins sale with its two perfect copies of this in
comparable book; one n yellum selling for t3.4OO.
and one a paper for e. 800. Even a single volume
of this book is an interesting relic but on the whole
$500 for half seems dearer than five times that sum
for tho whole Lord GOsford's library is not by any
means collection of the first class. 1t contains IN
teresting titles but contains also vast NUMBER Oh
those books which no gentlcman's library should
be without" Such as came under Charles Lambs
famous ban. u. W. .
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1884-05-11
AN2srHErIcs FOR WnooplSe CouGu.- Tho

ANlESTHETICs FOR WHO0PING CouGli.- no
American Practitioner gives the statement OF D W =
Webb. Kentucky physician viz that nom the treat
ment OF nearly two hundred OF whoopg cough no
concludes crOton chors DO by far the most yaaaeo
single remedy for Its relief being well borne py ene
He states that TO affect disease. II must DC given III
decided doses, child twelve months old will bear ono
grain OF the medicine every four hours throughout o
fwenty-fournot loss than this ~ be given during uo
first week after which the cough usually 50 n1eb 70
eyed that few II any doses are required al night o
drug being thus pushed its full eject there are vu
few eases Uncontrolled by II Ia fortnight; doses lo'
shiren ten years old being two grains every four nous
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1884-05-11
, guests OF the Johns Hopkins

October where they will DO guests Of the Johns Hopkins
University
At the annual meeting Of tho Loyal Legion held Thurs
day night ut Youngs Hotel, BrigadicrGenera Francis
A. Walker, ". g. ", elected Commander, Brfgader
General Charles walcott. y. 8 y senior vice com
mander, and the Rov. Edward IT, Hall, OF Cambridge
chaplain After tho election the monthly dinner was
paraken Of at which the regarIarmy officers stationed
at Fort Warren wore the guests OF honor.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11

wages, with fany kind OF works, has
been established to the satisfaction of
evry fortune hunter who ever sunk a
p 'osI ect-hole in TIE Little Rockies.
II is OF e of the best corntri in the
word to keep away from. Like the
lava b d, it might prove good ayrl-
cultural land if tie rocks were only
removed; but there is not gold
enough to pay for working, unless
it has been brought there in little
sack, and the very rich find ">alted. 81
The surround ng country is excel
lent for farming purp se~, and The
probabilities are tina, tbs is a scheme
of spectators to settle up Ee country
and dispose Of their lands at }od
prices.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
GiMiEf As SHE Is:

The Imagination of some people
seem, to be great, than their regard
for truth. 1t was stated few i Tvs ,nce
not by the TINES that extens,vr
Improvements were being made, and
more cont mplated, a: Gilnlet. The
fact is, Glmlet is still aurering away
in the same old groove where it has
been for years, so far as the "town" is
concerned. Mr.. Fleming has torn
down an old she'd or two that have
long since ceased to be of use be-
cause Of decay, and will erect u log
stable to supply their place. That j.,
the extent OF the Improvements in
progress this fall The y. *. saloon
is no more, and r. f. Thompson, the
proprietor, has gone hence. Neither
is there 200 cords-or even one cord
Of dry fir wood for sale at the bridge,
though it may be had from the resi-
dents in that section. Some people
will say most anything for a drink.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
Notice to Creditors.

Est.te of LOUIS KESslER, deceased
Notice is her.ty given by the undersigned. Ad.
,lni.tr tor OF the EST Re OF Louis kensler de-
ceased to the r, II ors Of and all persons having
CLAIMS AGAINST the said deceased. to exhibit them
with the necessary vouchers. within ten months
after tie fr>t publ cation Of this notice, to tue
said Administer r. at the Office Of n M RuIck. at
Bellevue in the county Of Alturss.
JOHN KENSLFR,
Administrator of Estate of Louis Kensler. de.
ceased
Dated at HALEY, September II. 1854. sill
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
A HINT.

The nominees for Joint Councilman
(or, to speak "by the card,'' the ci,i-
zens recommended for the nomination
by the Republican and Democratic
conventions,) are men of recognized
ability and integrity. Colonel Wall is
wcll-known, not only in ldano and
Utah, but throughout the mining and
business centers of the United States.
Mr.. Brearley, being Il comparative
new conner, is not 80 widely known
here, but bears an excellent AMI very
desirable reputation wherever he has
been. Formerly a prominent jour
nalist in Ohio, he has held some i'm
portant Offices, not the least Of which
was that of Assistant Attorney Gener-
al of the United States in the five
years beginning with the summer of
1872 and ending in 1877.
Either candidate will prove a zeal
Gus, capable member Of the counci
both are too broad minded to act for
any one portion of their constituents to
the neglect Of any other. Their sole
aim would be, if elected. to serve Al
:uras county to the best of their ability.
This being so, would it not be better
for us all if an understanding could
be arrived at between the two candi-
dates and their leading supporters, as
to their course in the Legislature: in
case of their election?
We need new laws without number
-pauper laws, road laws, tax laws,
anti-polygamy laws, mining laws, laws
on almost every subject (for our codes
ere qnarter Of century behind rhe
age), and these are not TO. the Repuh
leans or for the Democrats, but for
all the people of Al,uras irrespective
Of party. Why cannot bills be pre-
pared and submitted to these candi-
dates so as to obtain pledges from
them that, il elected, they will en-
deavor to secure their passage:
We say this much by way Of hint
which, f acted on, may result IN great
good to us.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
The statement in the TINES a

Tile statement in the TINES as
to the proceedings Of the late Demo
cratic Convention was not the "wtak
etftrvescence of stale imaniua,ion. "
''Justce" may have been there, but if
so the orgies Of .he few succeeding
days and the rev.l Of the nights at
ketchum, it would seem, have stunned
his faculties. He could not have for
gotten the facts stated in the TIMES,
If he had been merely a spectator,
wholly impartial and duly sober. That
the convention completed its labors
within the two days is due to the con-
duct of the able chairman; and had
his efforts met with the hearty support
they should, one-t'ird the time con.
sumed would have been all that was
necessary for that convention to COM
piete lis labors. The Republican Con-
vention was only in session five hours
altogether.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
ANOTHER PLACER SWINDLE.

Another alleged rich placer dis
covery has just been made in the
Little Rockies, small range Of
mountains about 100 miles east of
Fort Benton, Montana, and a STAN,
pede to that section is reported. Old
prospectors will no doubt remember
the Wild goose chase to the Little
Rockies several years ago, ana many
deluded victims can never forget 1t.
1t was one of the worst swindl-s ever
perpetrated on "a conii.i,,g pubic.
Many Of those who went there under
the heat OF excitement persisted Of
starvation on their way out of the
country, and many more were mass a.
cred by Indians, and all to crafty a
few tow"site spectators and hotel
keepers, who had no ether means Of
making money enough to get out of
the country. A second attempt was
made to boom the country few years
later by spectators, to secure a part
of the Black Hills exodus;ers, but
utterly failed. from the fact that reli.
able reports had been made that gold
dad not exist there in paying quaint
ties. And it does not. Now again
the old familiar claim is made that
''the mines will pay SIS day to the
man when properly worked" The
fact is, again, that under ordinary Cir
cumstances, the new III ID RADIO viii
hardly yield 81 day to Is men.
That gold exists there, there is no
doubt; but that it is not there in sui.
6cient quantities for any man to make
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11

..............
For Joint Councilman:
E. C. BREARLEY,
of Haley.
For Representative:
E. O. WHEELER,
of ketchum.
For Sheriff:
CHAS. Fl. FUREY,
of Bellevue.
For Auditor and Recorder:
4. Is. tOA,
of HALEY.
For Assessor and Tax Collector:
ROBERT CAMPBELL,
If kat .hun
For District Attorney:
J. H. HARRIS,
of Bellevue.
For Probate Judge:
GEO. NJ. PARSONS,
of HALEY.
For Treasurer:
JOHN H. VAN SCHAICK,
of Rocky Bar.
For Coroner:
DIR. N. /. BROWN,
of HALEY.
For County Commissioners:
I. w. GILLETTE,
Of Ketchum;
A. B. BRUNER,
OF Shoshone;
GEORGE FERRIS,
of Arco.
County Central Committee:
E. C. BREARLEY,
Chairman;
LIP. ANDERSON,
Secretary;
p. p. CANAVAN,
Treasurer.
Executive Committee
&c. BREARLEY. Ch,n'n
l.. +. ANDERSON,
of Broadford;
e. II. TERRY.
of Ketchum;
GEO. A. BLACK,
Of Bullion;
LYTTl.ETON PRICE,
OF HALEY.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
Lumber! LAMBERT: LAMBERT!

Parties DESTROYS of building would
save money by calling at &. Board 5
yard and ge,tlng.E rices.
Just arrived from Chicago-Cear
pine ceiling, weather boards, rustic,
surfaced pine boards, l.! and 2-i'ich
plank, cedar and pine shingles, doors,
sash and mold'ngs; also large
stock of seasoned Bear Valley um-
Der, and more coming. c. BOARD.
Yard corner Sd avenue and Carbon
ate street. aft
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
The Boss Oyster Parlor at Wangaman'>
Pacific Fruit Depot.

Having had twent.y-slx years expo
ri-nce in the oyster business, claim
to ne unequaled in getting up fancy
dishes. Come and try me, and you
will be satisfied. | have fitted up a
magnificent oyster room in the rear of
the store, and am prepared to compete
with any other establishment in the
country. Prices to sui, the times.
Oysters in every style. Open till :
O'Clock a. m.
sSml ASA l.. WAUGAMAN.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
The anti Mormon resolution

--The anti Mormon resolutions Of
Colonel Wall WERE discussed at
length-all statements to the contrary
notwithstanding. The fact is that
such an anti Mormon as Colone! Wall
should be in the Republican ranks
He i, out Of place on the Democratic
ticket.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
WOOD RIVERS RECORD.
A LOT OF POVERrY.S KlUKEN CAN.
DlDATES.

If more poverty stricken lot Of
candidates than that now in non,ina-
ton in this county has ever been pu,
up for slaughter anywhere. this scribe
does not know about it. Almost every
mothers sou of them is poor AS Il
church. and it is doubtful if
they can scrape enough money to-
gether to pay for the necessary prlnt-
ing.
The TINES is friendly to the "boys,'
and would like to see them all get a
"dab;" but its regard for truth com
pels it to state that, unless the non
Office seekers come to the relief Of the
candidates, there will not be nicLlc in
the campaign for any OF them.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11

--Brother Clay still surmount>
his Democratic county ticket with IA
tlao-in>tead of the traditional rooster
Those Democrats never will learn
anything. Brother Clay, come and
borrow one Of our roostrr,. A h.g
over IA Democratic ticket is "Ille gal"
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-09-11
Matches. ,JpWplry. Etc,


r. A. White has just received a
stock Of Improved Novelty Gliding
Tables, Which he is just giving away
for $3.50, spot cash. His order was
duplicated bv mistake, 50 that he is
compelled t. sell at cost, for account
OF the manufacturers.
The-e little tables are rapidly com
ing ito favor they are jl~t the
tong FIR the sick room, the sowing
room, picncs, gar,ens, card parties,
etc, as they ran be pat out of the way
Nlru not wanted.
R.,nemher the price: only, 81 so.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-09-12
Books Made of Clay.

Far away beyond the plains of Mesopota-
mia, on the banks of the river Tigris, lie the
ruins of the ancient city of Nineveh. Not
long since huge mounds Of earth and stone
marked the place where the palaces and walls
of the proud capital of the Assyrian empire
stood. The spade, first of the Frenchman,
then of the Englishman, has cleared all the
earth away, and laid bare all that remains of
the old streets and palaces where the princes
of Assyria walked and lived The gods they
worshiped and the books they read have all
been revealed to the sight of a wondering
world. The most curious of all the curious
things preserved in this wonderful manner
are the clay books of Nineveh.
The chief library of Nincveh was contained
in the palace of Konyunjik. The clay books
which it contains are composed of sets of
tablets covered with very small writing. The
tablets are oblong in shape, and when several
of them are used for one book, the first line
of the tablet following was written at the
end of the one preceding it. The writing on
the tablets was, of course done when the clay
was soft, and then it was baked to harden it.
Then each tablet or book was numbered, so
that the librarian could readily find it, just rs
our own librarians of to-day number the
books we read.
Among these books are to be found colec.
tions of hymns Ito the gods), descriptions of
animals and birds, stones and vegetables, as
well as history travels, etc.
The Assyrians and Babylonians are great
students of astronomy. The method of tell
ing time by the sun, and of marking it by the
instrument called sun dial, was invented by
the latter nation. None of our modern clocks
and watches can be compared to the sun.dial
for accuracy. Indeed, we have to regulate
our modern inventions by the old Babylonian
one Young People.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-09-12
Sleep.

Sleep is to the brain what rest is to the
muscles Sleep is craving more import
ant than hunger. Among some of the an
clients, deprivation of sleep was used as
punishment. This cruelty was inflicted by
the Romans upon Perseus, and the Cartha-
ginians deprived Regulus of his eye-lids in
order to make him so far sleepless.
There are three kinds ofsleep. First, ma
tural; second, pathological; third, artificial.
The length of time that should be devoted
to natural sleep, it is not easy to determine.
A maxim of the school of Salerno runs thus
rise at six, and eat at ten
Eat at six, and bed at ten;
Ten times ten years
You may live then"
A child spends more than half its life in
sleep. An adult should spend one third of
his. The aged sleep but little, though in
extreme old age the habit of infancy often
returns.
Girls and women require more, but general
ly get less than men. An hours sleep be.
fore midnight is worth more than an hour
after midnight. Saint Francis of Sales used
to say that early rising preserves health
and holiness"
Insomnia, or sleeplessness, is common, es.
pecially among mothers with young children,
among the victims of overwork and anxiety.
Students in college often complain of Sleep
lessness. 1t is a perilous thing to resort to
drugs. The only real cure is found in physi-
cal labor. Fatigue from exercise in the open
air is almost invariably followed by sound
sleep,-DiO Le,riss HOuthly