Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-07-04

Iees9kuAys - ve ensefeo toe Gf0Wsexys
- noticed Q qnesr-lo0kine Daehins
in the SHADED corner. Oar
vas excited, and - vsntused
10 make some inquiries - 10 IN mature
md ne.
That, sir" replied the Rrowier. "is
. machine for grinding oas poetry. II
Ia q labor saving machine, the opposite
Of your condenser. That requires brains.
this snly needs muscle. Juss give the
machine sabiecs and turn the crank,
and out comes the poetry. IL looks like
one of those ffteen-stop organs they
advertise 90 much. These stope,- con-
sinusd the GROWER, taking hold Of
knob, "ars Of sose uss. They viii
stop the machine. bus the others will
not, ! am sorry 10 say"
Bot Suppose ve give IL no subject,
skat will it DOR ve inquired.
it will run Wild. like . yoonR lawyer
trying 20 make speech oat of nothing.
Try il. Give the crank fec tnrns"
We did 80. We soon heard horrible
buzz,nR and grating Of vneeis- The
GROWER hurriediy ersmmed the hopper
full Of paper aud filed the fountains
9th ink. Then the machine began to
sing more qnistIy. Looking at The rib
bon Of paper a. 10 csme oot, Ne read:
20, the bay. the beautiful bayl
SPREADING out three miles away;
Swimming With fish soon to be sick,
Dragged ~ shore a. do ID a. q brick;
Sick with the siush
From sewers thai Rush
From Seattle streets,
Then sold as meat
For psopie to eat
From slau zhter- house and brewery,
Throsgh Yaukeedom and Jswry,
From mephitie vsust and alley
Noisoms foods will rally
Every night and every day,
Carrying refuse filth away
To spoil our beautiful bay.
30, the banesl the sbominable bangs.
How like clood on her forehead u
hangs,
Matted or frizzled down 10 her eyes,
Spelling her looks. ON her forehead II
lies,
Making her look like buffalo bull,
Or u sivash sqaav When"
Here the GROWER rushed frautically
toward the machine and forced In the
stop, exelaiming:
"fhere, enough Of that! You win
hurt some one or get hurt yourself. Try
q different tune"
M -. 49,. u-.~I .-uxk~~ k~~~ ~ua
the machine sang merrily:
"Little Jack Hsbbard,
He went to the club board
To get the poor Herald bone;
But when he got there,
The club would not scare,
But they pulled at Jach's hair
Aud twisted his nose
Uatii red AZ rose,
And shaded his eye
Until little Jack,
Lying Fat on his back,
| H,s psccayel did cry;
And 80 the poor Herald got mono"
"worse and worssr' exclaimed the
GROWER. IL told you Il would run wild
Now, old machine, what do you wish =
at ,he same time dropping into the hop
per slip Of paper with that question
written on IL. We gave the crank an
other turn;
just now wish that times were good
And lots Of work TO do;
wish that Blaine WAS Preaident,
And all this turmoil through.
wish the people would arise
And break the N. r. yoke,
And free the lands which now the train
Of comers sorely choke.
/ wish had bag OF wool
To cran each smoker's throat;
In every crowd their poison fumes
/ Upon the breezes foat.
wish had thousand men
With backs not made Of strawa,
To brighten up cur uity's fame,
Enforcing present laws.
wish had Council board.
With snap and courage bold,
To seek and punish all the tricks
OF hoodlums, young and old.
wish we had board of health,
And some good man TO guide;
| wish they'd build city wall
Against the flooding tide.
! wish they'd do a hundred jobs
That nos are not begun;
I wish--bnt let rs vote Tor those
Who'll do what shonld be DONE"
"That will do for one grist, /" remarked
the erowier. I" You see machine poetry
Ia like cakes and cream. II Won eat too
much. ii 10 likely to sour. Sermons and
editorials are generally good II short.
We do-not always applaud Q perform
ance from the same motive. Oucs
applauded song. A friend remarked
that he was surprised TO zee me clap my
hands nc suoh o wrssched performance.
informed limit was because the song
was ended. You need not get ready g.
applaud me. for I am not quite done
with you. But goodbye for she pres
eni."
We gave an inquirine yet somewhat
defiant look at the machine and with
drew from the Rrowlery.
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