Morning journal and courier., 1884-06-02
TOO,

A bark can heava an anchor, but full rigged ship can heave to.
 It is noted as an interesting fact that the wages of sin have not been cut down to eny preeeptible extens.-Chicago Sun. No matter how old the attractions of me- nagerie may be- you are justified in expect ing to find among them at least one thing that is gnu.-Boston Star.
 It Is now alleged that the original COW was hornless animal. This, then, explains why Eve lived to eat the apple. Had the original COW had horns, Eve would have died of fright the first day.-Philadelphia Call. A poet asks: ssWere you ever sick at heart2' Were we! We'll, you just come down to the house some night when the trombone man living next door is feeling Well and he is out in his back yard trying to shoot birds with his instrument.-Yonkers Statesman. A genuine angler: While on our way to Newburg the other day we saw fellow fish ing. Upon inquiry if he had caught any, we received the follosing reply: "caughs any No, you fool, I've not been at 1t only about four hours yet. t.''-Montgomery Standard. A correspondent writes us that the sub joined queries and replies recently occurred in Sunday school: Teacher-"How many men have you read of by the name of James2'' Scholar-s'Two." Teacher-t'What were their names?' Scholar-''Frank and Jesse. " We love to peruse fashion intelligence. There is always something so soulful about it. For instance, we learned yesterday that sthe gored skirt is moribund But then anything or anybody would feel moribund after being gored, and the wonder is how the skirt stood it so long.-Ol City Derrick. Court (to prosecutor)-s"rheny you recog- nizs this handkerchief az the one which was stolen from you?" Prosecutor-"Yes, your honor" Court-'tAnd 1t isn't the only handkerchief of the sort in the world. See, one have in my pocket is exaoily like it. , Prosecutor-''Very likely, your honor, had two stolen.'-Kenney Gazette.
 "HalIo, Simmons, you look gloomy" "Yes got the dyspepsia the worst way" " 'Why, thought you went to keeping house last week" ''So did, and that's what's the matter" ''Why don't you let your wife do the cooking2" That's just what she is do- ing-you see sheis graduate of the cooking ''Remus how fur am de sun Tom de earf p
 "Well, Clem, idees differs bout that. Some tinks hits farder an udders tink 'tan't SO fur"
 .iUm, jessol But what's 70 idee bout dem spots on de solarum dat folks talk 'bout?'
 .Why Clem, dem spots am muffin mo- dan the heads ob de nails dat hols de sun onto the sky."-Yonkers Gazette.
 THE CAMPAIGN DRUMMER.
 Rub-a-dub dub,
 And here come,
 The man with the solid
 Old campaign drum;
 Ready to drum,
 And to drum fer pay,
 Till drum your political
 Doubts away.
 Ready to drum, by day night,
 Enthasiasts blood up to fever height
 Ready drum till the old wounds ache,
 Ready to drum for b b'acbguards sake
 Ready to drum for an honest man;
 To do the best and the most can.
 Ready to thrill till the drum-heads strain, Booming the cause of Blaine of Maine;
 Ready to rumble and throb and roar,
 Telling them Arthur is up once more;
 Ready to thunder and thum as loud
 AS sheepskin can, ts Logan crowd;
 Ready to drum for Samuel And drum to the ming of Judgment day; Ready to drum for any "boys"
 Who have the money to paJ for my noise What? no principle? Not one,
 Save 'sget your caah when your work is dene." Don't scowl-even 90, am better far
 Than the run of your politicians are.
 Puck