Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-08-30
A TRAINED FLY,
Who Is Thoughtful Enough to Wake
His Master Every Morning.
A Bar~keeperss Tale OF DissOIule and
Abandoned BIue-Bottlcs-The
Red-Faeed Fat Mans Mar.
velous Narrative.
PHILADELPHIA Tir,esH


The nocr Of tie saloon was marble one,
into which the days drcppings of beer and
blo@ings of froth could not soak. Millions
OF lies staggered over it with wide-open
mouths aud drunk the sticky fluid Thou.
sa.ds Of flies, with z drunken buzz in their
wings, circled firstly at height of about two
inches aboyc IT, ard strove in vain to get
Life higher. Hundreds Of other flies lay on
their backs in the corners, with their Legs
either waving delirinasly in the air OF folded
Imply across their stonlachs They were
sleeping drunken sleep from which they
would never awake
After the bartender, the oyster-operer, and
their customers had contemplated the awful
sight long enough TO take warning from il,
the bartender remarked: when it's quiet
here you cen hear all them live flies slckin'
beer-sourdi Ike man goin' for the last
drop III an empty lemonade glass. Then I've
heard them drunken flies snorin' like tramps
i'll an alley But if it wasn't for the vicious
practices of them bum flies KILN EN-. they'd
drive us out
Il DO not Ike to hear sach talk about fiies,r
faid man who hal been imbibing beer by
himself at one end of the bar II have a
little fly OF my own at home that love-
Everybody turned ard looked at The
speaker He was very fat man, with red
face and black chin beard He wore an
imitation geer-sucker coat, which was open
across vast expanse Of limp shirt bosom.
"Give the gentleman pint of them largo
blue-bottles, George said the bartender,
sarcastirally, to the oyst2r-orener The fat
man wiped the perspiration invoked by eight
glasses Of imported Kaiser from his forehead
and calmly continued
i am from Frankfort"
That settles it," said the bartender, who
Immediately began 10 wipe glasses and APP
peared to lose ali interest in the fat mans
narrative. The latter paid no attention to
the slight, but went On:
Il do not want a pint of dissolute blue-bot-
ties. only allow one fly in my room He
is a temperate hy. He has to be. Attention
to his duties demands it. lie is trained iy,
Trained FOR wiia.t7 asked a Seventh ward
politician; 'pianner playin'!-
no; trained TO wake me up in the morn
ing"
'Sho!' said the bartender. with reawakered
interest.
1T is fact, said the Frankford man. Il
have been the victim Of over-sleeping ell nv
life lost a position as conductor on the
wake up in time 10 take an early train out.
/ also lost the hand and prospects of u
wealthy farmers daughter because didn't
wake up in time to be married, and so dis
graced the girl by not appearing at the
church. / have tried all remedies, even to
sitting up all night | expressly picked out
my present boarding house because the land
lady said that sine had chambermaid who
10
This, Of course, was untrue. tried an alarm
clock once. After the first morning it didin't
phaze me.
Last annum found this hy | call him
Dichy He was poor, starved, frozen little
morssl, lying more than half dead On the |
win iow-s:li Of my hoarling-house dining
roi IN laid drop OF hot soup beside him I
on the sill. He gave grateful buzz and
ate his way through the soup Ever after !.
that h, few and perchel aGeotionately on |
my nose Of meal time, aud instead of helping .
himself from my plate waited for me to feed |
him.
Il began 70 realize that the singular in /
telligence and regularity of that fy might |
prove him TO be the cure for ny fatal sleepi- |
ness. tool; him TO my room and imprisoned |
him, without food, for I. day in bottle. |
" bEi' ~ .tN titsflA tflc tDTh OUT anu
left him free 10 come out as soon as daylight /
came relied on his Eunssrto Dire, him TO
me for food. was right. In tn, morning
! grew diElly conscious Of an unusual noise
Ii sounded like far-oT saw mill First |
heard it in one ear then IN the otLer Ii half
awak med me. Then ] felt iekling sena-
ton on my nose. WIS about to let out
terrific slap .ow RI the sensation when re-
memberej my rs. | at once dressed and
elt 10 Lr 4 ctat with Lin.
Il was c'e 5oyei The next day, however,
was a disaPpoiatm Dicly ka1 81 prged
himself after his ia that he too oversight
himself ga = J starved him. again he
swakere me-. This Jag kept up a week
)niy o. a triata days W ud he walen lie
Ip. At ae,n O. that Zine he lal entered
Mt my scEems, ard since then ie las never
missed q ~. 5e arises rs soon as daylight
'nters the 10 Ia ~ simple bas ingenious
levice lave f.zei my window hades so
hat it cone N just when / w;nt IT, You
@ -"
The man from Fr niiorI rlei Every
ny bid rs e rsonl exc. p. the hartcnior,
Vi @ was Snoring heLiilt tie bar
'Gootbye al the F,aalSf,rl mn: Il
u, : ,-,,..r 10 ,u. Il. Owe niet.y Ii. a,.,,,o,.