Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-31
MIST.

sfIsn't it singular" said visitor, gazing at Niagara Falls, 'fthat the little moisture that arises from that vast cataract should be mistY'-Cincinnai Saturday Night.
 A drunken Pennsylvanian attempted to embrace a cigar store Indian, when the lat ter fell on him and smashed his skull We are glad to see that poor Lo still has some spirit left.-Burlington Free Press.
 Respectable folks in New York protest against the importation of British pugilists, who only come here to violate the laws and break the peace. Their cry is: ''The Eng fish sparrer must Philadelphia Record.
 MT. B.-Are you not going to celebrate your wooden weddings Mrs. C.-No; my first wedding was wooden one. Mrs. B. Oh, it could not be, you know. Mrs. C.-It was, married a blockhead.-PhiIadelph Call
 The wife of Methodist preacher in Geor- gia takes turns with him at preaching. When his parishioners see the old gentleman digging worms in the backyard they know that it is his day off.-Burlington Free Press.
 ''Malze your husbands comfortable at home and they will not go out in the evening D exclaimed Cincinnati preacher lately. The next day Cincinnati wives were anxiously in quiring about the price of beer by the keg.- Philadelphia Call.
 
 few days? I'll be sure to pay you back" ask ed Murphy, the impecunious of John Simp- son, one of the most reliable citizens of Aus tin. t'I know it, Murphy, am certain that you will pay it back, but I've got little plan by which we can both make money" What is it?" F'I'n make you an absolute present of $5. There is profit in that for both of us. "-Texas Siftings. ttOh, husband, husband, Fanny has run | fha oJ It's all the fashion, my dear. Now we will be the talk of the town, and our names will be in the papers," ''But you don't under stand" sfYes do. And I'm glad of it, I tell you" "But I don't mean your daughter Fanny" ''Whom the deuce do you mean, then?' t'Why, the new horse Fanny" ooh, l thunder! is it as bad as that? Where's my I hat? Quick This is pretty mess" Brandy said man during conversa- 1 tion on intemperance, 'why, it's the worst drink in the world. That's what killed Bill ] Fellers." ''Bill Fellers is not dead, D replied some one. saw him out in the mountains i the other day" 'sWell, no difference" said the first speaker. Brandy is what will kill | hin.n FEI don't see how it can, for he never drinks drop of it." sfAh, well, it's what would kill him if he were to drink it. You are so confounded particular that man can't talk to you. ."-Arkansaw Traveller. A professor, to illustrate the immense dis 1 tance to the sun, says, Eff a child's arms | were long enough to touch the sun and it's fingers were burned the infant would have te 1 be man of over hundred before it knew that it's fingers were burned" The child 1 would be willing to wait that time, without doubt, especially in consideration of possess ing reach like that. But then, such z length of arm as that is a disadvantage even to child. If pain at it's velocity of travel | would be all that time going the length o1 the boys arm, a handful of plum jam would not reach his mouth until he was nearly three hundred years old, and likely enough by that time his fondness for plum jam would be gone.-DanbuTy News.
 The school is just out; there's rush and noise
 The streets become crowded and gay: | And here at the door is the sweetest of boys 1 Who just began going to-day.
 A frown and pout on his little round face | A tear drop just ready to fall;
 t1 think that school is the funniest place
 The teacher knows muffin at allI'' I His eyes opened wide with a mortified look r. His face grows indignantly pink; l Why. mamma, she asked me to bring up m book
 And tell her. the letters-just thinkI''