Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-02-06
Press Pleasantries.

1t makes no difference how you pic
ture Presidential horse so You paint
him dark.
II Is said that tho peculiar sunsets are
caused by the sun trying to set by the
new standard time.
They call them ''sunset headed" girls
now. II Ia more esthetic that to speak
Of rich, flowing auburn locks.
Christmas slippers often reach their re-
cipitents In the same condition that
Richard III came into the world-'not
half made up"
Mrs. Murphy-"Och, it's awful, ther
paypul what's buried alive! II l be liv-
ing whin I'm dead, Pat don't be after
buring me aloive."
Mrs. Nellie Grant Sartoris is expected
to visit Washington during the Winter.
II Il not thought that her visit has any
political significance.
The following notice adorned the gate
Of cemetery In the outskirts Of Chollet:
Here may be buried only the dead who
live in the commune.
What Is the worst description Of men
tai disorder! The sentimental. Know
any other bad kind Of mental! Yes;
there is the detrimental.
A man in violinia, Mich, pays $3.50
tax this year--6o cents on his house and
lot and t3 ON his dog. We suppose he
paid what the assessors taxed him.
A trinity Of nuisances: The man who
smokes ON the narrow platform of the
bobtAil car, the narrow platform Of the
bobtail car and the bobtail car itself.
"Yes," said the public functionary,
''the papers said was entertained by
the Cuisine Club last night, but I'm
thinking they got ME there to entertain
the club"
Overscrupulous: "My husband is vicar
Of 81. Boniface, but don't attend his
church" 'Indesdl How is that" "The
fact is, II don't approve Of married
clergymen!"
We suggest that some competent de-
batting society tackle the question: IRE
solved, That an errand boy is no slower
than the rise in ones favorite speculat-
i've stock on the present market"
Cuisine: Mistress : "Susan, we're
thinking Of having pigs head boiled
for dinner. You understand 1t, l sup.
poses" Cook--"Oh, no, mum. told
you before came didn't understand
game"
At the club: "Do you know that K
has Just won great deal of money!"
"Parbleu! What lucky fellow he is
II he were to throw himself out of six
story window he would fall on his moth
er.in-law."
Two little girls were playing together
when one Of them suddenly called out to
her mother, "Mamma, Lii has been
fibbing again. Tell her, mamma, that
it's very bad for little girl to iib-that
she must wait till she grows up!"
Liberty enlightening the world" may
yet have to stand knee deep in the mud
TO do it. What in the name of common
sense did the Frenchman want to en-
thuse for the benefit Of ungrateful New
York for, anyhow!
"You don't seem to be dancing any
this winter" remarked young LIE Dude
to his friend Slim. "Oh, but you're
mistaken, ysu know. l go to three
ballsevery week." Indeed! And where?"
"At the pawnbroker's."
David Dudley Field wants the Judges
of our courts to wear silk crowns and
would doubtless like them to adopt the
old fashioned wigs also. Mr.. Field I'D |
vances backward with even greater
rapidity than when he got up his new
code.
"Who will arise from his seat in Con-
gress and defend with eloquence the
American hog" asks the Chicago Inter
Ocean. We answer, Nobody. The
average American, be he Congressman
or scavenger, hates most of all to be
called "iou're another"
Millionaires and convicts inhabit costly
mansions on the Hudson. An esthetic
clergyman will always be careful to de-
liver funeral grafton in a tombstone.
The naked eye and the bareback comet
have formed combination that perpleNes
Comstock.