Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-01-28
CHOOSING A BABY.
MI. BARLEY Campbell Makes Frightful
Mistakes and Offends Several Moth


III d manner Wnlch-d1d credit to the bic
gest of American dramatists. The cans
Of the show was the necessity of using
live baby in the first act of the new come
dy-drama, separation" which is TO b
produced on Monday evening. Others q
the cast have been rehearsing for nearly
a month, but the baby's role being as 81
lent as that of the ''LOne Fisherman - il
was not thought that she-the baby-i.
FEMININE, and grows up to be Miss Effie
EilsIer-Would require so much time Il
study. AS none connected with the thea
ire mad on hand a baby of suitable age
the following advertisement was printed
yesterday:
WANTED.-Baby, from to 10 months old
W for drama; separation. Apply at stag,
entrance Union Square Theatre on Fridar
morning at II o'clock.
When Mr.. CampbelPs six feet tbre,
inches of dramatic inspiration loomed III
on the stage at IL o'clock in the forenoon
care was noticeable on his brow, and his
nerves were evidently unstrung. He was
met Dy the captain of the supers, who
SAID IN Sepulchral whisper:
"The babies is at the back door,
Chow many of them? % whispered the
dramatist in reply.
About half a dozen, assorted kinds -
"Ihank Heaven there are not more p
CALCULATED the dramatist. "MOthers all
with them?" he added, with sort of des.
perate hope chat the infants might have
come alope.
"a mother apiece, and one has two
thouSh pother may be an aunt"
''W ell, let 'em come in," said the dra.
uaClst; oraeIng himself for the inevitable
stand by me,old fellow" he called to one
OIL the actors; 81 have been through many
tough things, but this is the worst.
nave edited paper; l have produced
countless plays, some of them at nv own
expense; L have reported the speeches of
nlgger Senators in Louisiana, and l have
even lived in Pittsburgh, but
Ihe mothers were brought in and
placed in line as if on parade. Some OF
the company looked at the young mothers.
but Mr.. Campbell did not dare raise his
eyes above the tops of the babies heads.
These were indeed of 'Eassorted kinds''-
the tnln, the fat, the chubby, the laugh
ing, the cross.
Pm afraid my baby's little too big.''
said mother No. l, as she held up child
apparently nearly three years old; she is
only seventeen months"
A subdued but incredulous murmur
went up from the other mothers,
Mr. Campbell saw his chance for weed
ing out one. ''It's fine child. re-
markably fine child; but, you see. it is a
little too large, and-ahem-l wanted a
girl baby"
"You didn't say so In the advertise-
ment."
''No, didn't. The fact is. Won see. I
thought that-well-I didn't know that
knOw?" '
Mother No. l, casting a glance of scorn
at the other mother and a look of pity at
the playwright, departed with her fortv-
pound darling.
MIR. Campbell heaved a sigh of relief.
"Ihats pretty One," he exclaimed, as
his eyes dropped about three feet on to
the next in line. Chow old is itY''
seventeen months, but its quite small.
just lift It," And mother No held it in
vitingly toward him.
Il might drop it," he murmured, as he
stepped back out of reach. stDoes it
cry2"
very seldom, sir, but 1 can make it
cry if you want it to-"
mo! no! no! My good woman, do you
think l want MIR. Bergh after me? I want
a baby that never cries."
This last remark raised a laugh from
the company.
"Well," asked the dramatist, s'aren,t
there some that one can rely on not to
howl? Some that you can give some
soothing syrup, or something out of bot
tle-or-or-or something to keep 'em
quiet, don't you knOw?"
"Pll Undertake my baby won't crv.v
urged mother No. 3, as she exhibited
pretty 1alr-haired mite of humanity.
Miss Carey" pleaded Mr.. Campbell.
do come and help me here. You've cot
Q be the mother, you see, and you ought
know what sort of baby you'd like to
Mss Carey took the baby in truly ma
,ail 1eLhl way, poking her fingers down it's
ne InIecA,and Notwithstanding to it until
the tsT T1hsnt smiled and gurgled.
lha's a little darling" was Miss
carey ,erdict.
But bjected the dramatist, "it's so
Ialr, ana yu and COghlan. the father, are
Dotn uafk, and Miss Ellsler, whom it
gIOWs up 10 ., is darker still. Couldn't
we Put W. on it, or dye its hair, or
something, doLt you know?v
inc hali-utteT 4 protest of the mother
Was sIoPped ny aspeal of Laughter from
Misses Carey andElsler.
,.,, Doif you khor," said the latter,
ance and even compl6tiG11 1Sn'A ~ :" "l'Po'''
''Do they?" queried Mr.. Campbeu. 81
believe they do" Tere he rubbed
his head as if Ill search OF dim memories.
81 think Fye heard that vas oIIite small
and pretty once. Will tEs one dop5
turning to the ladies.
"Admirablyr
"Then I'd like to speak to yt,1 here a
moment" he said, leading the mother
aside. ''You think you can keep it qUet
1t mustn't cry, seer"
Eyes, SIR"
''Now about Clothes" continued Mr.
Campbell. eve want this sort of thing.
and he waved his lengthy arms as if ht
was pulling out the baby's legs.
''Oh, long clothes, sir"
Yes, suppose that's it. What d've
call 'em-long clothes will make it loOl
smrller, won't it?"
"But | haven't any, sir; cut them up. ,
"Well, that'll be all right. I'll speak t.
the property man, and have him make
sOme."
LADIES'" he said, turning to the Other
mothers, "Pm sorry | can't take all youl
babies. They're really a splendid lot
Never saw finer in my life. But | cam
use more than one, see? And l guess thil
one will do. Pm very much obliged Il
you for coming"
The other mothers glared at the success
full one savagely, aud went out.
Hes picked out the plainest of all,
said one.
"Just because the mother dressed her
self up fine, and made eyes at him." saiC
another
"What can you expect of man any
how?' was the last remark that the door
keeper heard.
'Here, Hunter" said the comedian t,
one. of the property men, "we've got
successor to Rankin's dog for you to tax,
care Off
'No you don't, not much. Pve worked
dogs, and horses, and parrots, and mon
keys, and canaries, and white mice anC
an elephant, but draw the line at a babl
unless its papier-mache. That's the bes
kind, anyway. Live props is always ;
nuisance"
''The baby" said Mr.. Campbell to tn,
reporter. sis necessary to the action o
the piece, and only appears in one act, s.
its mother can take it away by $3.50 ever
night. Isuppose we pay about $40 weei
for ii, and that's quite an item for poo
mother. see? Babies in plays are sup
posed to be Mascottes, and there is gen
eral belief that play with baby in it j
sure to 'go' When older children ar
used in plays they are not easy to get,
they have to speak lines intelligently
Some very funny things have happene,
with children in plays, but the wors
occurred to a star, l think it wa
Aud Ofdyy VINO was going 10 play 'EaS
Lynne in Richmond. On her arriva
for rehearsal on the morning of the per
formance the child who was to play evil
lie" was not forthcoming. The stag
manager assured the star that he had
child who had often played the part be
fore, and that 1t would be all light a
night But the child was i'll and couldn'
come. The manager put his smallest bal
let girl in the bed, but as she couldn'
memOrize the lines, he got under the be
with the prompt book. The star was stag
gered when she saw the length {
the child lying beneath tn
clothes. but she struggled bravel
on. When the promptor's voice, di: