davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

all de rest O de folks, de question come up ezbout de gobbler. Mrs. Guinea Chicken she tole how de gobbler had suited her an made fun O de comp ny,
 Ladies an gennermen," said de rooster. gettin' upon bar1, ~ hab heerd wid much gust how de gobbler hab acted an doan think dat dem mean aeks O his'n sughter go widont punish ment. We'll want some meat fur de 'casion ter-mor' an doan know O no,hin' dat woul' look better on de table den dat SC ef-same gobbler. Whut yer all say?'
 All de com'pny clapped dar hans an de ole drake he jump up an pop his feet tirgedder free times fore he hit de fo'. 'Mejiuy srter dis CT committee went out, foun' Mir. Gobbler. killed aim an had him fur dinner de naixt day. Eyer senoe den de gobbler hab been CT hborite durin' de Chns'mus. Run Tong, chile, an get ernuder cup O dat aig nogg fore 1t SpileS
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
ALL THE SAME.

A well known .ailroad lawyer, while accompanying several ladies on tour of inspection through the penitentiary the other day, stopped in front of a cell where a grim looking fellow sat and said:
 "Ladies, here is an excellent specimen How are you 2" addressing the convict "Sorer slow a, present"
 You don't find life in here very en- joyable, presume?"
 "Wall, it ain't as full O fun as it might be-"
 "What were you put in for p
 "Wall, podner, you an me was abou. in the same business. know you"
 "In the same business7 What do you meanr
 Same business, that's what l mean You are railroad lawyer, ain't you p "Yes."
 "Wall, ] am a train robber."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
WOULDN'T DO.

An editor who bad advertised fos man to do clipping 6or his paper sas met by . sly-looking peEsonzys who said fiszt hs would like to secure the position.
 Do you think that you could look over papers and hbd items of interest ?s |Yes, sir"
 "Whai is your regular businessr
 @i am a detectiye.S
 "Creas goodness, sir you won't do. You would never fad anyshing."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
AN EARNEST WOMAN.

"t s assonisAine." said Captain Mc- Gresney, turning from a book and ad- dressing hts wife. "how many people ss- cape being killed ia battle. Oaea, after an engagement, examined shs bushss and trees, and a appeared to me that every one of them had been struck by bullets. lt's wonderful. Oae day, aoe long ago, was hanting la the woods while the Aeorns were falling. Thas were bushels of them on the ground, they tell in showers, bu, strange to relate. not a single one struck me"
 "h Is, indeed. wonderful" tslolned the captains wife, a quiet little woman, who neveT suspected q. joke to Dc lurking in ambush
 :" Yes, t Is more tkan wonderful. For some time have looked un ir stances of marrow escapes, but q mos, interesting one occurred recently a, the house oi friend of mine. Every particle of plAs- tering tell at once from the ceiling ofo of the rooms and yet. not a single mem- Der of tho family was struck"
 "WeIl, isn't that stranger" said tsh.@ captains wife,
 "Oh. no. perfectly natural"
 How do you account tot it ["
 We'll, the correct surmisa is that there was no one in the room when the clustering fell"
 The captain elAsped his faI hands over his bullet head and laughed.
 "Oh, how smart you aTe." said the little woman. "You ough.s to enter the lecture field"
 The follo~ing evening, while the cap. tain and his wife sat Ia coEy contem. pla,Ion of the Slee, falling against the window panes. the simple mindad, alec tiona,e woman who did not sec how peo- pic could be otherwise than earnest, sad
 This afternoon the thought occurred to me that there was nothing you would like better for lunch than a nice baked chicken"
 "Bless your little soul !" exclaimed the captain, wish you had got the ck(ioksa. am as hungry as bear and . cold chicken would fl my appetite as snug as glove"
 And you really want the chicken v
 "Wans 1t Wy. am haakesing Afsss hv
 "Well, 20 10 the dining room, look in the bottom pan of the safe, wrapped up in q table-clo,h. fl you need any bread you may cut the sew loaf"
 Say" called the captain shortly after he had gone into the dining room.
 "Well"
 can't fad the chicken."
 "HAve you unrollsd the tabie-eloth 2"
 "Yes, but can't ind ii. It's devilish strange"
 "Oh, mo-" she replied, "Is is perfectly natural. The correct saTHs;ss is, ;A:: .As chicken is no, there.
 Now know you think you are smart" said the captain, putting the lamp on the table.
 "l didn't say yoc would fad . chicken.S
 "Oh, no, you never said anything. Look here, Meg, let me give you piece of advice never joke mans appetite. 1, is injurious. Whsn a man wants sone- thing to eat. the special something thas hs wants e.a>s= copioas Ao@ sf gastric juice. II he fails .o get that csstala thing, ,he gastric juice goes for psnght and his future digessioo sasiAins serious injury. That is shat causes 70 much dyspepsia in the world. No, Meg, never soafe A woman nor ioke A m An 's apoesits s
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
NO ENCOURAGEMENT.

Colored washerlady to white woman " Look heah, whut yer gwine ter gin me fur CT Chris'mus presentp
 "I don't know that l shall give you anything"
 Mighty sorry ter heah it, lady," and as she went out she muttered: "Now knows dat ain't gwine ter bring dat bed quilt back. How does does da 'speck CT pusson ter be hones' an hgious when da doan hol' out no 'ducemeusT
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27


 one morning AbahamS neigkboyhoed was astonished to sec that another wo. man who was willing to die had been found. The honeymoon was not joyous, still Moll did not complain. She seemed to be con.ented and amused herself by breaking col, and kllliag A dog that had been convicted of the caime of suck. ing eggs She was very modest in her wants and once even relinQuisAed the pleasure of throwing A strange hog ovsr the fence to turn aside and hurl wash DO, at Abraham who had, upon coming home, failed to observe the proper eere- mony. This insubordinatioa sAddenSd Ahraham's hte. A vet undcIahirt seemed to have been thrown over his won.ed livel,ness, He resolved that too much scope, that altogether too large an orbi, had been allowed Moll. One day, atter nerving himself with flat boat whisky he went home determined to plant his standard and maintain it. Moll vas ln the sitting room. She paid no attention to him until he struck her Side the head /" with . p;s;o. sud s:cckeA ae. heh,nd trunk She arose with haiche,, which her hand happened to strike, and threw tt at AbsA. ham, cutting oH one of hm ears. Then seizing poker, which hay. tAs taft ,x kk Es. k.1 red hot, she struck Abraham across the back of the neck. and poked hot hilari,y among his ribs as he withdrew through the open door. This exhib bliion of tenn per almost broke Abrahams heau. Alter remaining away from home abou, two weeks, he returned, riding a mule and carrying long rife. He rode up to the gate and saw Moll washing a win dow.
 "l'll just send a bullet in there abou, five inches from her head and lei her know that 1 am h the community" he unused. She did not see him, and did DO, appear to be alarmed when the bulle, smashed the glass, but a moment later she stepped to tho door. lifted double barrel shotgun, and b.aIed away a' Abraham. One discharge killed his mule the other tore of his hat and reached up his hair Dodging until he reached a place beyond Molls terrific range, Abraham stopped, looked back, and sad:
 I've come to the conclusion that she needs rsiofm'n' Thar don, peer to be no lavin in the house with her. Wush they'd send some O those funen mis- sion aries round here. 1 never seed the like. Thar she stands now with ,ha, in- fernal fuIee. Ne use talkio. that woman ain't gentle enough to suit me. When Il gifts 90 that wimmen don't have respect for th Ar husbans, wy, society is in bad shape"
 Bang
 |" She sees me-" mu,tered Abraham, dropping behind tree. |" It's plain 10 be seed that 1 kain't enjoy myself with her. She don't peer to be tender enough in her treatment O me"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
THE BRIGHT STAR.

Chris mus hab come wid its soun's O joy, Oh, de bright star shine in de east; Makes CT ole man feel like he wuz CT boy, Oh, de bright star shine in de east Eigger an' de white man smile wid glee, Oh, de bright star shine in de east; An de boy wid de jumpin jacks brisker den CT flea,
 Oh, de bright star shine in de east. Oh, shine on, bright star, sinner man
 he mus
 Knowledge up de con jes' like Nick
 erdemas,
 back seat, sab,
 Case de rigious nigger is CT gwine
 ter shake his feet, Sah. Ole Satan mighty grum when Chris mus come, Oh, de bright star shine in de east Fur he ainr got de holy man un 'er his thum', Oh, de bright star shine in de east An, Lawd CT massy, doan yer see de nigEer wink,
 Oh, de bright star shine in de east 'Spectin' fur de white man ter ham him out CT drink.
 Oh, de bright star shine in de east. Oa, shine on, bright star, whu, fetch
 de 'dems hun,
 Stan on de holy groun' an claim de
 right O prem 'shun. Sinner man an dou 'ters mus git out
 O de way, sah,
 Fur de niggers O de church am CT
 gwine ter hol' de sway, sab.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

Oars some little Selhshness in pray'r, de fust thing yer know. 1 ain't got much speck fur de 'ligion O dc man whus gifts down on his knees an axes de Lawd ter gin him dis an gin him dat. De k:sAs: 1igion likes is ter see CT man turn loose su.hin' 'stead Q axin' fur suthin' all de time. hab knosed men whut thought dat da had done CT mighty great duty when da went ter church an axed de Lawd ter bless 'em De SAbiour wa'nt dat sorter man, |. strikes me. He was all dc time openin' His bsa' stead O all de time shettin' il.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

This is Christmas. We intended to say something new concerning the oc- casion but were advised by a physician not to indulge in exposure The illus raied papers have done the subject justice, for which we are thankful, being relieved of much responsibility.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

The editor of the Kentucky Slsss /os,nai requests correspondents to sd- dress him as colonel instead of esqsise. Ms. Disioe is right. Every sensible man should % with the majority.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

Henry Watterson's article in the NoyM Amerfe6s Repiey-" The Resurected Union "-is one of the abiest and most entertaining political papers that has been presented to the public for many a day.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
PLANTATION PHILOSOPHY.

Yer kAin' 'speck much O de man whu, am allus changin' his notions. He puts me in mine o' de fish whul grabs CT hook an den tries ter spit t out.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

The oar's clothes are cut with a cold chisel. Boiler-iron does not make a good dsster but it does very well for an overcoat.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

The prince of Wales sadsss sea, wkess name is-wsil, t makes no diGesenes-- k coming to this country !; and t is also thoughs that the cholera will psy nsa yisit sexi year.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

Er man whul waz once a fool but what aifter erwhiie gifts ter be A smart man is wiser cen dc man wha, wuE Ailus smart, fur habin' been a fool fore he wut wise he's go, de 'sperience O de smart m an n de fool
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

IEampS are sometimes 100 prOSreS- sive. They have begun to say: was government clerk in Washington, but was put out when Cleveland took charge"
 "Da said de gennerman died ease ampertated his laig," said negro doctor, " but dat ain't de truf, ease he wuz dead fore toch him." Then why did you cut eff his leg ?" some one asked. "'Case, sah, jes' wanted ter show de folks dat sich CT thing could be done"
 The recent attempt to blow up the hyphen uniting two parts of London was unsuccessful The only one who ap- peared to know anything about the affair was a bootblack. London is be- coming very unsafe place, and the de- tectives have signed a petition asking protection.
 President Arthur stood in Washington and with one hand started the exposition machinery in New Orleans. Just sec what president can do. Why, George Washington him self could not have per- formed such feat. No use talking, the presidents are getting to be men of too much power.
 A London correspondent of a New York paper says, @that it is impossible for the American mind to appreciate the fine humor of PgseE." The American mind can readily appreciate the humor of Shakespeare, and the delicate kumor of Addison, but of course can see no humor in PHSeh. There is a reason for this. There is no humor in PHaeH.
 General Sherman publishes a letter written during the war by Alexaao,er Stephens, showing that Jefferson Datis vas aiming at the establishment of a government far removed from one of re- publican principles. It is Eo~ rather tcc late to discuss such matters, bat every in- tellisent man in the south is to-day thank full that MT. Davis did not succeed.
 aWhat are you taking my boots out of here for P asked a gentleman of his negro servant. "Whut is desc yer boots, boss p "You know they are, you rifing rascal. What are you going to do with them? ?" "Wall, clare for goodness, boss P dropping the boots. "I thought da wuz de skuttles an thought dat I'd so dewn airter some coal, sah. Cuis hsw CT man can be 'ceived."
 Matthew Arnold, it is said, will write book on American civilization. This country can stand great deal, but it is not prepared to fight against Arnold. He viii probably treat American civiliza- ton as he treated Emerson. His lecture on the New England philosopher, con- densed in common sense space, was,S He was not a great man." His history of our institutions can DC given in few words: The country is not civilized" Yek, quite a number of Americans will buy his book, but few of them win read it.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27
LIMNINGS.

Tramps are sometimes too progres- sive. They have begun to say: was a government clerk in Washington, but was put out when Cleveland took charge"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-12-27

A|a SoA1 NC bCKAHcAAAIAA1 OISO Nt3SS ' ampertated his laig," said negro doctor, but dat aint de truf, ease he wuz dead fore toch him." "Then why did you cut eff his leg ?" some one asked. "Case, sah, jes' wanted ter show de folks dat sich CT thing could be done"
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07

I,sH,
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07

$500
on a
!. at q
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07

| Dentist. Office in Terrell building opposite
| postoflice, Main street, Wichita, Kansas.
Teeth extracted without pain by nitros oxide
| sag.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07
A Rema. N'ple Cure.

The following is taken from an interview
by the Topeka Commonwealth Of October
9th, 1855 when W. Edison, OF the firm Of
Beck 4 Edison. OF Topeka. was sixteen years
old he had the measles very bad. They iefl
him with the sight Of his right eye so seri'
ously affected that he has not been able "a
see out of that organ until about seven
months ego, when Prof. Samueis, the noted
opticiau, furnished him pair OF giasset
that filed the bin completely, aud enabled
him to see just as we'll out of his heretofore
blind eye ache can out Of the good one.
Mr.. Edison himself never thought that such
a thing could be done, because before meet
ing Prof. Samuels be bad tried all I. . diner.
ent kinds Of glasses made. but cold moi
get anything that gave him any sort Of re
lief. Such wonderful cure as this 10 Ger
tainly something remarkable, for Mr.. Eisou
had the use of but one eye, and had the
other been equally affected he would mol
have been able to see at all. Doubtless Z
great many people who are cropping through
life in our blind asylums are affected just ~
Mr.. Edison was, when, did they know L.
they could easily be made to see, II Prof
Samuels could get hold Of them.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07
PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY
DIR. 7. l.. ANDREWS

Treats all affections of the ear, nose, throat
and lungs by the most approved modern meth
DDS. Asthma, hay fever and rose cold speedily
relieved; treatment mild and unrritating.
Office in Ferrel's building, opposite postoffice
Office hours from 3 to 12la A. NJ, and from q TO
GPM Stiff
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07
WICHITA, January 81, 1884.

TTOJ. lNdhVuttS.
DEAR SIR-Being among the first to
avail myself of your professional services in
this city, and now having tested your crys-
tai glasses, which you fitted upon me, l feel
a sense of duty as well as a pleasure In say.
ing that they have proven thoroughly sat
isfactory, enabling me TO read with the
greatest ease aud without wearying my
eyes. take great pleasure In commend.
ing you to all who require artificial assist
ance. believing your glasses to be the best
in use. remain yours respectfully.
II. II. OWENS, NJ. ID.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07
WICHITA, January 10, 1854.

Prot. .Samutls.
SIR am not aware that My public tes
timony in favor of your method Of fitting
glasses 10 the eyes can be of any service Il
you, but give it for the benefit of any one
suffering from serious difficulty in getting
glasses 10 lit the eyes. Give Prof. Samuel.
a trial and you will come away satisfied.
would not take any price for my glasses if
could not get another pair.
A. J. LONGsDORF, NJ. ID.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07

No o. leo acres miles south of Che
ney, 40 acres been tiled, adj
Joining the headquarters of the
Jewett stock farm: good land
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having the benefit Of valuable
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- We can place capitalist or colony on ;
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Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07

OFFICE OF BOARD OF II. :. EXAMINING !
SURGEONS, WICHITA, KANSAS.
To those who are afflicted with imperfect
vision, cheerfully recommend Professor
II. samuels as a competent optician, and he
comes highly recommended by some Of the
ablest physicians in the west.
A. ii. FABRIQUE, N. ID.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07

WICHITA, September -, 1884.
Prot. Samueis, the op,ician, having re-
turned to this city, | take pleasure in rec
ommending him an expert n his spec
ialty. +. b. RENTz. NJ. d.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07
FOFICE In ROOM I2 AND PARLO

Professor Samuels offers to those that are
| suffering from weakness and defective sight
his improved crystal-glass spectacles, su.
perior to any other in use. They are con-
structed in accordance with the philosophy
of nature, adapted to the organs OF sight
| and perfectly natural to the eye. The adj
! vantages Of these specifies are
First-That they can be worn with per-
feet ease for any length of time at one sit
ting, giving astonishing clearness of vision
fort to the spectacle wearer hitherto un.
known.
Second-It requires professional guidance
even when a good article is offered. Prof.
Samueis not only has the best glasses that
! can be found, but carefully examines the
eyes Of the patient and gives indispensable
advice as to the proper selection Of them.
Third-these glasses are scientifically adj
justed to every case of defective sight with
unerring accuracy, whether arising from
age or strain, or premature decay, by Prof.
Samuels, on a new and exact principle en-
tireiy his own.
Prof. Samuels, to signalZe himself from
the host OF pretenders in his profession will
submit Tor inspection copies Of testimonials
OF The most unquestionablc responsibility
and talent of America, also Il number Of
letters from well known people who have
used his glasses.
The use OF any of the following names or
certificates without an actual possession Of
the same would be forgery, an Offense pun
ishable by Imprisonment in the states pris-
on.
OFFICE OF BOARD OF u. :. EXAMINING
SURGEONS, WICHITA. Jan. 10, 1884.
Prot. Sdmuets:
DEAR SIR chceriully add my name to
the many who have testified to the worth Of
your glasses. The pair obtained from you
give me great Satisfaction. With the
glasses that have already used, have not
been able to read more than hall an hour at
u time without WEAKNESS to my eyes. Now
| can read continuously without pain or
bluring Of vision.
A. II. FABRIQUE.
Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1884-1886, 1884-10-07

| DR. w l.. DOYLE,
| DENTIST. Office over Barnes h Sons drug
| tore, Centennial block. Wichita. Al
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-03-31
THE GREAT
ENGLISH REMEDY

Is a neVer-failing Cure
FIR Nervous Debility,
Exhausted Vitality,
S EN- inal Weakness,
SpermatorrhHa, LOST
MANHOOD, Impotency,
PROsTATORRHEA, paraly.
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ble effect of Self-Abuse,
youthful follies and ex-
ceSses in mature: years
such as Loss of Mem.
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Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-03-31
Hear What the Deaf Say!

1t has performed u miracle in my case
have no unearthly noises in my head, and hear
much better
have been greatly benefited,
Nv deafness helped great deal think another
bottle will eur. me.
My hearing ismnch benefited.
l have received untold benefit
My hearing Is improving.
1t is giving good satisfaction.
Have been greatly bencite,i and ala re eioiced
that saw notice Of II.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-03-31
THE EXPERT SPECIALIST,

hR. ALLEN, AS Is WELL KNOWN. Is REGt.
~ LAR graduated Physician. educated at Bow =
duin college aud University of Michigan He has
devoted a lifetime to. and is acknowledged to be.
the most expert sIgG,, = III lis specially ON the
Pacific Coast.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-03-31
Heart Disease
CURED BY
Dr.. RusA's Regulator

SWIM. G. Osgoodby, the well-known safe manu-
facturer of Buffalo, Philadelphia, Pttsbur5, New
ark and Atlanta, Ga, says:
OFFICE OF OsuooDBY's IS IMPROVED SAFES,
II BROAD STREET, ATLANTA GA,
October II, 1881.
DIR. RUsHs MEDICAL ASSOCIATION:
DEAR poCToRs:-The three bottles of ''Dr.
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and am thoroughly satisfied with the result For
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was unable to give me any relief. The trouble
grew worse until had become convinced that
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ply sicians there, who charged me S25 for AN en-
animation, and then recommended your "Regula.
tor" Knowing yon to be Il regular Medical Asso-
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manent cure You have my sincere thanks.
l am gentlemen, very respectfully,
WM Il. USGOODBY.
Wood River times. [volume] (Hailey, Idaho) 1882-1915, 1884-03-31

Its virtues are unqu urStiunable ana its crrati va
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