South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1884-04-04

'eos 'c'6o' CioSeiJ upon zVU pounds.
My Dear says hs to her. shall 4 help
you over tho fence?' Nd says. ebo to
him, help tho fence.
Ex-Gov. Hubbard OF Connecticut who
died recently belonged to Hartford
whist club. one OF whose members was
s'ovenly and dirty in dress. This gen.
'ieman wore at one OF the meetings
beautiful white rose in his soiica button
hole 4 say, Hubbard, he called out.
Amt that ioY.ly rosc2 Where do you
suppose Igos iir And Hubbard, CLAN
cling quizzcally at the bloom and it's
strange resting place answered: Looks
as IL it might havo grown therel
A colored individual aho went down
on the slippery flags at the corner Of
Woodward avenue and Congress street
scrambled up and backed out into the
street and took long look towards the
roof OF the nearest building. .Yoa,fell
from that tbir''.storY windowr remark.
cd q pedestrian who had witnessed the
tumble. Boss. | believes yer was the
prompt reply; 'But what puzzles me am
de queshun OF how got up dar an Why
was leanin' outer de wipder r-Detroii
Free Press.
The Dutch papers mention The iiscov-
cry of a certain cure for govt. A reas.
ant who was confined to bis bed by
sharp attack, was stuug by bee, and
almost Immediately he felt better and
next day he was we'll. a short time
after another patient thought he would
try the same remedy, and having Undue
ed bee TO sting him on the part eiTec-
ted, &c also was cured.
Curran, being angry in debate one
day, put his hand on his heart, saving
am the rust; guardian of my own bon.
o. Then, replied Sir Boyle Roche.
Il congratulate my honorable friend on
the snGg sinecure to which he has APP
POINTED himael(.'
An Arkansas citizen of the highest |
responsibility was arraiguea in court
for killing q friend. The evidence OF /
his guilt was clear, and the Judge said !
it was plain case.
Said Brown: Smith won't have so
soft o thing as he has had Il dou't
know replied Robinson, hell have a
soft thing so long as lie doesn't lose his
head
Beats all what a man can hear if he is
only mem enough TO listen.
A matter of course: No, sir, my
daughter can never be yours Il don't
want her to be my daughter broke in
the young ardent, Il want her to be my
wife,
But protest my innocence replied
the prisoner. 'The indictment reads
that l did shoot and kill the gentleman
with powder and leaden bullet. This
is a mistake. l had DO bullets at the
time, so loaded my gun with powder
and n horseshoe nail
That indeed, alters the case said the
Judge. The Indictment said bullet.
when it shoud have said nail. You are
discharged, sir
A specimen Of logic. What relation
is g loaf Of bread 10 steam -enrinep
Bread is necessity. 4 steam engine is
an invention. Necessity is the mother
Of invention; therefore a loaf Of bread
is the mother of steam engine.
When Eve was running around loose
in the Garden Of Eden, and Adam caught
her and kissed Der, the first thing she
said was, That's awful nice. Ken
lucky State Journal.
Men may dig fur months an fine dat
dc gof ain't dar,' says 0pio Read but
when dc woodpccker digs hole in de
tree he allus takes out a worm.
Living from band TO mouth Eating
your finger nails.
You bachelors ought TO be be taxed,
said Miss Lachord to a resolute eyader
Of the moose matrimonial 4 agree with
you peri, city, ma'am, was the reply, !
for bachclorism certainly is q luxury. (
Wv here shall we find our teachers?' |
asks al educational exchange. Well, |
many Of our sweet giil teachers may be
found sitting on sofos with nice young |
men. any time afler eight o'clock D. N. |