The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-26

everybody does that there is no occasion to
gather together learned and expensive organi-
cation for such purpose 1t is the distinct and
peculiar province of geographical society to
hunt for things that are not wanted. We do not
seek them out because they are needed, but
simply to prove that they are there
1t is big thing, says the new member, sar-
donicaIly, and moved off and pretended to inter
est himself in our new chart, wherein the search
for.the Holy Grail the crusades for the recovery
of the holy sepulchre, and the search for the
northwest passage are ingeniously contrasted
THE society now settled down to business,
and asked me for the details of my project.
said that to begin with, exhaustive study and
investigation had convinced me that Hail was
not located within the body of our globe; hence
| inferred that it must be above us somewhere
doubtless In some part of the empty space be-
tween us and the stars Continuing l said:
: L propose to employ balloons inflated with
pure oxygen, / would not send fleet of bal
looms but simply one at time. shall desire
ton Of $3.50, 900 for the equipment and ex-
penses of each of ten balloons. | would start
the first one up, say, about the beginning of the
coming summer. / would start up the second
to hunt for the first, say, about year later.
After an interval of year more would start
up the third to hunt for the other two, and bring
home buttons and other such relics of the crews
as might be found. Every year thereafter would
send up fresh balloon to hunt for the previous
balloons and carry relief to the survivors-that
is, gravestones and monuments and so on, to be
set up where the birds and the comets might see
them from time to time, and be reminded of the
brave deeds Of the departed martyrs to science.
This method, you see, is systematic. The very
thing which all previous efforts of this kind have
lacked was system We have always waited till
we knew expedition was lost before we sent
out another to hunt for it, whereas, since we
knew it would get lost the right and only wise
course would have been to send out procession
of expeditions, at brief and regular intervals so
that they could begin to hunt for each other
without disastrous delays. Many spoons and
jack knives, and other valuable relics have been
irretrievably lost to science because the search
expeditions waited so long that these things
got showed up meantime, or were captured by
the natives and bartered off for blubber
Now under my system nothing of the kind
will happen. The balloons will follow each
other at short and measured intervals, and the
work of hunting for each other and graYe-ston-
ing each other, and gathering up each others
remnants will begin right away, as you may say.
And by keeping this sort of thing up right along
and briskly there is not question that sooner
later one or another of these balloons will find
Hail-and collapse into it and stay there, too.
And the whole honor Of it will belong to this
geographical society, this great nation, and
Congress.
s"The applause which greeted me when sat
down was something marvellous. | felt that the
next most glorious thing to going to Hail under
my system was to have originated the way. 1t
was at this point that the new member mean
dered up to the front and made that little speech
that said was going to tell you about, you
know Said he:
ssGentlemen, | wish to resign If it was your
idea to hunt up cheaper and softer north
west passage to paradise, you could count me
in every time. But don't want any of this pres
ent project in.mine Now, mind tell you. 1
think that a geographical society that lays out
to take all this trouble and spend all this money
to find out that other place is Harvesting itself
to a mighty unnecessary contract. For just this
reason: It won't benefit the general public, for
they don't want to go there and. moreover, they
don't even wish to know where it is. And as for
the geographical societies, they don't need to
worry, for if they will sit still and keep cool
they will land there all in good time and plenty
soon enough.
'Whereupon we fred him out