Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-01-24
4 Swansea Farmer.


handed, hard-shell farming frater ,ity.
and he had just come in from Swansea.
Hitching his team to the post he stood
close under our office window, watch
ing the men at work laying the electric
wires in the new dug treAch. 1t was
evidently q new feature to him and
he took in all the sight as keen
ly as boy takes in his first cents
worth at the circus. He leaned down,
took hold of the open end of one of the
small pipes through which the wires
are run, and then turning to a Globe
Village man who stood by, said:
Gas or water, mister?'
''Eh?" said the G.. V. man.
''Is this pipe for gas or water? That's
what | want to know"
For neither" answered the Young
man. Its for the 'lectric light, same
as the taligraph an the talliphone,
an it's for supplyin' lights to shops an
houses an factories. Ever see the
'lectric light old man?"
wall, no; can't say as | hev, least
ways, not to my KNOWN. You see, |
live & mile an half out O. Swansea,
way back in the country, as it were, an
| never come into the village arter
dark. But still l think if they d had it
there, l should hearn on it.
Ger out wi We. We old greeny, +"
scornfully said the Glober; do We think
they'd hev tn 'Iectric light in a little
one-hoss village like Swansea? Why.
we're just gettin' it in this big city"
But what do they want with these
wires ruhnin' through tn pipes?" asked
the farmer. They only take up room,
an if they've too much room in tn pipe,
wouldn't a bin cheaper to hev smaller
than this'n and hev to partly make it
up wi wires?"
Look here, old hayseed," said he,
lifting up the end of the pipe and get
ting the farmers attention fixed upon
1t. g Electricity isn't q gas nor wa
ter. It's as like air as nOwt, an We can
no more see it nur feel it nor dog can
'preciate music. 1t runs through these
wires and the pipe is only laid to how'd
t wires an to keep mast off EN-. Dun
ye understand it now, old weasel?"
There was an ominous CLEAN in the
old farmers eyes as he handled the
wire ends again.
an [ can't be expected to know as
mich as We city folks, but should just
like to ask you another question. You
said as how the 'lectric stuff went along
these wires. Meow, will yer tell me
how that can be?''
Il know nowt about how it can be
only know it is so, replied the man
from the Globe.
Meow, thou doesn't know as much
rs thou pretends to an thou thinks [
know less, 81" said the farmer But I'll
tell thee what it is my friend. I'm no
fool if I'm no chicken, and rs there is
no hole in these wires for Electricity to
90 through, | know as thou'rt liar
who's been trying to fool man most
Old enough to be thy father. These
wires are solid. not hollow, an if it
weren't for fear of t law an yon po-
liceman at t corner, I'd bung thy eyes
up until thou couldn't tell the differ
ence between the 'lectric light and
Kerosene lamp. What thou'rt aching
for is somebody to punch bit of truth
into thy head and to teach thee bit of
good manners by loosening thy hide.
1t cost me TWEEN y-Seven dollars to lick
a chap last time L wor in t city, so [
Gamma afford to have bit of fun every
time | come TO town, but I'll tell thee
what I'll do. Just jump into that wa
CON wi me an I'll drive thee DER the
bridge, where we can hev it out with
out anybody stopping us. If thou will,
I'll give thee two dollars for the loss of
time and fifty cents for sticking plas-
ter.
The Globe Fillager moved away.
'WeN good bye, If thou'Il not oblige
me, " said the farmer, as the other
moved off. "Thou'rt like to please
thyseIf, lad an thou knows best, but
if ever [ lay hands on thee where it
won t cost SO much to have a bit of fun,
I'll make thee glad to creep into one o.
them pipes. I'm only an old man but
I'm too young to be fooled by q Fall
River chap. '-FaU RjUer AdUauce.