davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
Put a Brand on Him.

"WOmen are a necessary evil, he said, bringing
down his fist hard on the counter to emphasize the
heartless remark. 1t in the village store Mt
West Milton, Saratoga county, and the speaker was
the central figure of group of buc0lic philoso-
piers He was homely, sloveny and sixty.
"There's where / differ from you altogether,
said Mr. George T. Graham, OF The some place.
" Women mostly what men make 'em. When
h usbands are Drutes wives will fall into submission
or make home hot for the men; and they're unnat-
ural In either character Love thcm and especially
be good to tn, IN when they're sick, and you'll have
no trouble There's my own wife, now. She 9
suffered good deal with dyspepsia, nervous pros
tration and other ailments that took the bloom OIL
her cheeks and the spring out of her steps. Well,
she saw an advertisement of PARKERs Tonic, and
thought it would be just the thing for her case.
Gentlemen, ] sent five miles after a bottle. She
took it. sent again after more. SO several times.
Trouble? Why, If you could see how much good
IL has done her you would say that women are the
greatest of Gods blessings, and PARKERs Tonic il
the next"
This preparation, which has been known as PAR
KERs GINGER TONIC will hereafter be called simply
rARKERs Tonic. This change has been rendered
necessary by substitHtes imposed upon their Gus
TONERS by unprincipled dealers under the name of
ginger: and as ginger is really an unmportant fla
vorfng ingredient, we drop the misleading word.
There Is no change. howeoer, in the preparation
ITSELF and all bottles remaining in the hands Of deal
ers wrapped under the name of "PARKER's GIN
GER Tonic" contain the genuine medicine If the
fac simile signature of HIsCOx Co. is at the bot
tom OF the outside wrapper. Feb. Wlm
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
New York Life.l ~
a LITTLE GAME Of asMAW

Mr.. Cyanide Whifles, for moderate
percentage, had volunteered to steer his
brother-inlaw against the game, { nd. to
use technical expression, blew him in
for all he was worth. Th' gentleman in
question was a Ioboken barber with a
steady income, a total ignorance cf draw
poker, child-like confidence and other
advantages of mind and person Which int.
pressed NJ. Williams favorably
Rev. Mr.. Smith instructed the ueophyte
in those fundamental principles known az
coming in, straddling," rising and
sweetnin de jacker," and by tacie con-
sent he was allowed to win some small
successive pots, and thus got himself into
glorious humor Then Mr.. Williams
winked at Mr. Gus johnson, and that
gentleman dealt. i.
Mr.. Williams had stradded the blnd,
and Rev. Dr. Smith straddled hiua All
came in, and drew three cards ap.ese, ex-
cept the stranger, Highland Dil~ey, who
only wanted one Mr. Williams bet a
dollar, Mr.. Smith raised him too.
Prot Brick called as did also Mr. Nv hif.
ties. All eyes were upon Mr.. Dil.es. and
the silence was 40 profound that Mr.. John-
son could hear his hair grow f,
Does yo' jess-jess call, Mistak Dill
sey:" inquired Mr., Williams, with a
sweet smile, cor does vo' rise it,?
Mr.. Dilsey passed his cards in review,
hesitated and said
"Kin | rise it,
"Certainly," replied Mr.. Williams, who
had a great deal of bcnevolence, and also
three kings. "Rise it al yo' want"
Thus encouraged Mr.. Dilsey raised the
pot Sc. Everybody breathed hard With
suppressed excitement, and Mr.. job nson's
eyes might have served for hatracN Mr.
Williams raised back and Mr.. Smith
raised him. The others, according to
previous agreement, fled. =
Mr. Dilsey called, What you got to
beat two par ?" he inquired. j.
Is sev'ral big, fat, smilin' kings any
good?" asked Mr. Williams, kindly.
Kin spade fisk, queen high, ld puf-
fn?" queried Rev. Mr.. Smith.
Shomc, up said Mr. Dilsey, appar-
emily nursing his left foot
Mr. Williams unfolded his private eol-
lection of royalty, and Mr.. Smith exhib-
tied panorama of spades which reflected
great credit upon Mr. Johnson's dealing.
Ise sorry, Mistah Dilsey," observed
MIR. Williams.
OATS de way wild kyards," remarked
Rev. Mr.. Smith, sententiously. tam
blin's onsartin.'
Mr. Dilsey spoke not, but began to
count up the pot.
"Wha-whad yo' don' wifi dc spon-
dies 2" asked Mr. Williams.
Lego my pot..' commanded Mr.
Smith
Mr.. Dilsey coolly rolled up the bills
and inserted them in an abyss under his
vest, and then swep the coppers and Dir.
Whitfie's plated watch cham into his
pocket
"Look hvar, niggahs," he said, IN
tone which made Mr. johnson feel lke a
refrigerator, " Tse from Hoboken, an f'se
a barqah. When a IIoboken harbah
comes ter Thoms'n street he kerries his
profession wifi him. Use got bote boot
legs an a hip pocket full ob de irnple
ments Oh de craft. Yo' hear me 2"
All signifed by silence that they heard.
Then Mr. Dilsey laid down three Jacks
and pair of skies, and colly jammed Mr..
Whiffies' hat down over his eyes and quit
ted the ROOM
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
Feminine CHAsrlsEMENT.

"Come here to me-" said a firm mother
to her son. "Didn't tell you that I'd
whip you if you went down town."
"What made You go? Say"
"'Cause," standing on one foot
"Didn't you know I'd whip you -
"Yessum," showing by his manner that
he didn't.
"Pm a great mind to wear you out
If you go outside the yard again today
I'll whip YOU"
About ten minutes afterwards she sees
the boy playing in the street and calls
him. He comes reluctantly.
"Dldn't tell you I'd whip you if you
went outside the yard?"
"Yessum."
"Why did you do it ?"
"'Cause."
"You good for nothing little rascal,
Pm great mind to wear you out. If
you 60 outside this yard again to-day I'll
whip you, if it's the last act of my life.
Do you hear me p
"Yessum."
After awhile she sees him playing in
the street again. Calls him and says:
"Never mind, I'll tell your pa when
he comes"
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
'an FTanclsCO POst.
A POOR MORMON ORPHAN.

Why are you crying, my little boy ?"
asked the man.
"'Cause dads dead,' answered the
boy.
"That's too bad. When did he die ~
"Two months ago"
"Two months ago! Why, that is q
very long time; you ought not to be cry
ing now. You must have been very fond
of yeur father?'
Well, no, can't say that | was, but
you see he was the only one | ever had :"
"That's SO; but you have a mot her,
have you not -
"No, they're dead, too"
They -
\ es; you see," said the boy betw cen
his sobs, eve were all Mormons, living
down in Southern Utah, where dad was a
bishop, and, of course, had five wives.
Well, each one of them had a boy baby
about the same age, and they We're all!
named Brigham"
Isn't it strange to name them all
alike ?"
"They always name the first one Brig
ham if it is boy, and" said he, when
we were about four years old, dad used TO
drive the little flock of Brighams down to
the farm and make us weed carrots. The
farm was two miles from town. and one
day, when we were alone, band OF In
dians kidnapped the whole of US and took
us away down into Arizona The other
boys got sick and all died, but they kept
me with them five years before | could
escape, which / finally did, and got back
home. Well, when l got back, l didn't
know my mother or even her number, and
she didn't know me, and they all claimed
me as their little lost Brigham. So they
had to draw cuts to see which one would
have me, and was hers till she died.
then the next, and so on. NV first
mother died year after l got horls;
then | became the son of mother numbsr
two. She apostatized, ran away and mag
ried Gentle and got killed in a railway
collision. lived with this mother a yesa.
and half. The third mother got hookaA
to death by COW six months after .shk
had me. The fourth one died when l was
thirteen and my last mother got drowned
six months ago. And now dads dead
| tell you what's the matter, mister, they
don't know what real sorrow is till they've
been an orphan, like me, six times
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
NIGHT.

Dark shadow twiNt tomorrow morn and me -
II out shadow. my heart shrnks from thee;
II but heavy gloom on vale and height:
II but black shroud for the suns sweet light
Earth IKE his widow lying loveforgot-
q Night, love thee not.
II Out passage to the coming dav;
II but waiting for the morning raw
II but silence when the solemn hush
is moved, as if wings of angels rush
Over the babies with cradle song
O Night, did thee wrong,
II but respite from the toll of dav:
II out pause, to ponder on the way:
II but a time to shut the eyelids tight;
: Wrestling with evil in a deadly fight:
II but pillow where white wings descend
. Night, thou art my friend,
II but time of promise of the Far:
II but waiting for the morning star;
II out dreams frightening Of gorgeous morn,
Where life and love and JOY are newly horn;
1t tut yearning for eternal light
Thou Tcachest well, o Night
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11

Bill Arp says that woman wants
everybody's children whipped but hdr
own.
-Teacher-"Who reigned after Saul n
Scholar-"David." "Who came after
David ?" " Solomon" "Who came al.
ter Solomon?'' "The Queen of Sheba,,.
answered the pale young man on the
back bench, and the teacher turned ts
Corinthians, and looked solemn.
The following was overheard on Lib
street the other day: $50, Liza, youA
done gone back on Joe ?" eyes, | ia. ana
honey he done sent fo' his presents bach
again" "What did he glib your" dHF
CUB me ring an bracelet an lock d
his ha'r." Law, chile, glib um back hi&
ha'r, glib um back his ha'r.-7ne HatchsE
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
savannah News.l
The Political Envestigatioma.

The reports we are getting from the
Copiah county investigation at New
Orleans, and the Danville investigation at
Washington, show a state of affairs very
much like that which existed in this
county before and at the riot on election
day in November, 1868, and in other
| parts Of the South at various times dur
ing the carpet-bag period. They are the
same old stories, with changes as to time,
place and leading characters There are
still white men, it seems, mean enough to
stir up bad feelings among the negroes,
and to incite them to commit insulting
ACTS, which ultimately lead to violence,
in order to crafty their greed for office.
ut Danville the white leaders of the ne
groes were not in sight when the riot oc-
CURED, and, consequently, not one of
them was hurt. Between seventy-five and
q hundred negroes on one side, and from
fifteen to twenty-five white men on the
OF her, took part in the riot, and the ne
groes got the worst of it. Peaceable and
industrious negroes were not there. The
negro mob was made up of that loafing,
good -for-nothing class of negroes to be
found erywhere in the South, and who
are always" standing on their rights"
AT Danville, however, they did not
stand long. Not great while ago there
were localities in this State where the
political condition of affairs was not very
different from that in Copiah county. The
white soreheads, in order to advance their
oftice-getting schemes, called themselves
independents, and became enraged with
their white fellow-citizens who refused to
have any association or afiliation with
them. They used to get very much ont
OF temper and were loud in their desire to
kill somebody or have somebody killed.
They wouldn't allow themselves to be
called Republicans, but they did their
utmost to profit by the votes of the ne
gr"es. Happily, affairs like that in Co
piah county are not liable to occur often
now the white men who make them pos
sihe are about all weeded out of the
South. One Of them ran away to South
America few days ago. He was
Louisiana tax collector under the Kellogg
regime, and later was post Office inspect
or in this State. Quite number of con-
hding pOstmasters mourn his absence, as
he borrowed their hard-earned cash aud
forgot to return it. When these political
adventurers are all gone there will be no
occasion for political Investigations in the
South The negro is also beginning to
learn "dat de mean buckra am mighty
unsartin,''
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
BALL & LONG.
REAL ESTATE DEALERS AND AGENTS,
TALLAHASSEE FLORIDA
TALLAHASSEE. FLORIDA.

eB- Large and small tracts of improved and unim-
proved lands in Leon and Wakulla counties,-sHable
Tor staple farm crops, fruits truck farming, dairying
and general stock raising especially sheep FoR SALE
at low prices and on cary terms
E~ Some specially desirable locations on Lakes Jack
son. Lafayette and Bradford in Leon county and on the
high hammock shores OF the Wakua and st. Marks rv
ers, WakuIla county, within few miles OF the Gulf
with abundance OF fish, oysters and game
EW- Both State and Government lands selected and
entered for parties upon application.
eE Maps plats and descriptions furnished
We have complete Abstract of Titles TO every OF
in Leon county carefully compiled from County Re
cords and Probate Office
Information OF Middle Florida its lands climate soil,
productions and checrully furnished and
respondence solicited March II. lsS2-ly
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11

Mrs. Percy Ierger is one OF those am
bilious women who never allows herself to
be surpassed by anybody in anything. She
actually crowed over the neighbors, be-
cause one of her children was worse
broken out with the measles than all the
rest of the children in that part of Austin
put together.
Not long since she made an afternoon
call on Mrs. Watermelon, near neigh
bor Mrs. Watermelon brought out
some tea and cakes and deprecated the
tea being 80 weak, and the cakes not hav-
ing the right flavor.
What do you call this tea weak"
said Mrs. Yerger, turning up her nose,
and then smiling most contemptuous
smile.
Yes, am afraid the water wasn't
boiling" replied Mrs. Watermelon, de-
murely
Mrs. Yerger shifted the air scornfully.
don't think the tea is poor at all,
Mrs. Watermelon, compared with mine
| hope you will return my call at an early
day, and then it will be a pleasure to me
to prove to you that | can make tea, one
cup of which will be weaker than whole
pot full Of this stuff that you are boasting
about. Ask my husband, ask the Uni
versity students who are boarding with
us, if they ever tasted such tea as give
them. When it comes to real thin tea
I'll carry off the ribbon from any other
woman in Austin, Mrs. Watermelon, and
| want you 10 know it,"
"Yes," responded Mrs. Watermelon,
81 expect yours is the worst. You
know you are so much older and more
experienced than l am"
Mrs. Yerger gathered herself up, and
with a glance that might do credit to
member of the Texas Legislature who has
been caught in lie, Indignantly left the
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
FOR SALE.
Florida Real Estate.

AIO.1.-13 ACRES, FIRSTCLASS VEGETABLE
~ and fruit farm. Ten acres LcContc Pear Trees
100 to 300 Orange Trees, mostly budded some fruit
the past year, a growing Nursery business. VIII be
divided into 6I< acre lots. Ten minutes from the
post Office and railroad station. Tallahassee, Fla.
No. 2-Five or ten acre lots, near Orlando Or
ange County, Florida. Enquire of
w. II. HASKELL,
33-tf Tallahassee, Fla.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
SURVEYING

TIAVING BEEN APPOINTED DEPUTY SUR.
IL veyor for Leon County, respectfully solicit
the patronage Of the public.
- TERMS $5. 90 PER DAY.
JOHN M. COOK, Tallahassee.
Tallahassee, Feb. IL, 1SS4-1m
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11


No man can lounge into success.-
Christian HtelAgencer
Memory records services with a pen.
injuries with graver.-DeSegur.
The game laws do not protect bache
lors in leap year.-Ou city Derrick.
=" Yes" said Fogg, GIVE met with
many successes in my life. That's the
trouble, you know. The things fellow
meets are all going the other way"
Did it ever occur to you how
ashamed pug dog must be Of himself
wher he has to be seen in company with
a woman who is fool enough to lug him
about?
A mans own conscience is his sole tri-
bunai, and he should care no more for
that phantom "opinion than he shonld
fear meeting a ghost if he cross the
chnrchyard at dark.-Lytton.
Papa" asked little boy, "what is
the difference between grand opera and
just opera ?" "About the same differ
ence, my boy, as there is between grand
larceny and just larceny. The robbery
is greater"
"A young woman's club in Tennessee
has adopted for motto: "Total Absti-
nence or No Husbands" This is a wise
move. There has been entirely too much
drinking on the part of women latelv.-
Bisnarck Tribune.
1t is q singular fact that girl who
when she is alone can put her hands on
the top rail of fence and skip over like
lamb at play, will, if her beau is along,
give him as much trouble in helping her
over as though she was rheumatic loco
motive.
The married ladies of Larimore have
challenged their husbands to a spelling
match. The husbands will not accept un.
less gwen great odds on the game. Thev
know the athletic abilities of their wives
beloved jaw far too Bismarck Tri-
b,ne.
a girl on exhibition at Chicago has
tn fingers on each hand. If she ever
gets married and allows them to tov
with the hair of her husband in the usual
marital way his head is liable to grow
bald IN single matinee Bismarck TLi-
bune
-" ] would like to leave the country"
said man, but nearly everybody owes
me and | won't leave on that account"
81 would like to leave" replied an &C
qualntance, but l owe nearly everybody
and can't leave on that account.-Ar-
kdasGc Traveller.
"A. fast" man undertook the task of
teasing an eccentric preacher "Do you
believe" he said, Gin the story of the
prodigal son and the fatted calf P''
Yes, said the preacher. swell, then.
was it male or female calf that was
killed = "a female" promptly replied
the divine. SLOW do you know that P''
:" Because," looking the interrogator
steadily in the face, "I see the male is
alive"
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11

But Mr. Binney remained firm his hat
and coat were brought to him, aud away
the two set off together They chatted
pleasantly a. they walked along. 81 shall
hope to come and see them all sometimes"
Miss Bright said. 81 know as long as
the Brendon's have home they will
take me in."
And remember that so long as have
house there will be room for you in it.
"That is very kind of you, Mr. Binney,"
she said softly. 81 am sure l do not
know why people are all so good to me- :"
Mr.. Binney apparently was no better
able to inform her, and they walked
on silently until the Conway road was
reached.
Now, then," said Miss Bright, here
we say farewell" and she held out her
hand, but Mr.. Bnney did not take it; he
was engaged in hailing cab he saw
then he drew ont his purse and Miss
Bright knew that he intended settling
with the man for the fare. She shook her
head at him reprovingly.
Mr.. Blnncv gave the directions to the
driver and then he held ont his hand, hes
itated, opened the door and said, "I don't
see why should not 90 with you az far
as the station"
At the railway station they had but a
very short time of waiting. Miss Bright
stood near the carriage which she had
chosen nothing remained but to say
goodbye and enter.
And you will let us hear how you get
on ?" for she had not said she was com
ing up again.
"Oh, | shall often write to the Bren-
dons and Sally. You will hear of me
through them
and l hope so very much tn It you
will be comfortable and happy"
Miss Bright tried to smile, but her eyes
filled rapidly, and to hide the tears She
half turned away.
i wish that you were not obliged to
60 away; couldn't anything be managed
for you:"
She shook her head sadly. "No," she
said; {" l tried everything could" and
here a sob would come, "but nobody
seemed to want me-
CT want you" Mr.. Binney was
stammering out his words excitedly.
Miss Bright, can you-will you stay for
tiiN O"i' "" C'iIHcHl " DtCOmc 4nIS.
Binney 2"
"Mrs. Binncy Il I" everything seemed
TO swim around her" but, Mr.. Binnev.
such an idea never once occurred to me-"
am very sure of that, my dear" he
sal! earnestly, {" and it has taken some
time to come to me, or | should have
made the offer long ago; however, better
late than never-that is, if you will ac-
cept me-
"Oh, but think it is so good of you
and you feel sure that | can make YOU hap
py. What will the Brendons and Sally
say"
"Say that | am more lucky than | de-
serve to be for not asking you before
Now understand why | woudnt consent
to your being my housekeeper; l was
wanting you for my wife, you know"
Miss Brigh; held up her hands in dis
may.
"Oh, my" she cried "There's the
train of-gone, declare -
What of that if it is ?-another will
soon follow, and while we are waiting for
it, we can arrange our plans and fix he
day"
And if any one wishes to know how it
all ended, | can satisfy their curiosity by
telling them that more happy, CHEEKY
couple never were seen than the present
Mr.. and Mrs Binnev.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
PalAikA Herald. |

Pals,ka Herald
For The past two weeks the woods in the
country surrounding Palatka have been burning
AMI we Goubt not but that the same may be
sad OF nearly every other section of East and
South Florida. If the annual connagration has
not already taken place throughout these sec
tloDs, II is only question of a few weeks when
the work ot destruction will have taken place,
and ur beautiful pine forests will have the ap-
peaIance Of a blackened waste. Thousands of
dollars in fences and other property have been
lost this winter by these fires, and thousands more
will yet he lost ere the spring is gone. Com
plants come up from every quarter of the out
rageous custom of burning the wooks the State
press have written against it, condemnng 1t as
beiag ruinous TO lands and timber, while orange
growers truck farmers and real estate men gen
orally have cried long and loud for relief from
the danger that threatens them. Who burns the
woods, and why do they! There are few par
ties in each OF the East and in few OF the South
FLORIDA counties who own few cattle-ihey are
The ones who fire the woods. Why! Because
they want tender grass for their scrubby stock,
because there is law which allows them to burn
and destroy the lands and timber during certain
months OF the year, and because they are indf-
fereni as to the final result of the destructive ele-
menl which they put in motion-not caring
whether their neighbors' property is endangered
or not When the legislature meets this matter
must be looked into The people demand some
decisive actien and relief
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
gbe las'hlp g tldri@i"n.
I
PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY.
ADVERTISING RA.rEN.

sor.KE !. one inch in space; "a rqsaSes mske col
Advertisements inserted hess thsTs'he. r"onth, 81
r SQUARE Tor fret, and so cent? Tor f{H subsequent
ius.Ttuu. 's.&
A,y,rtisemens nnaccompar led by t'!esA ASk except
rrder contract will not ceiy" auentiosy
# the money enclosed does 10! roVsslee nemner OF
a.,o,x ordered it viii he Inserted tess member OF
tmes
Advertisements not marked with he atntet 81 timee
M, inserted until forbid. aud charges ascornngly
All cop,rac, advertisers whose ammn. OF 'pace ana
tyh of time are fixed by above ra'tsN5 ecFequ'teu
tn copdnr their advertising strictly :" ihff OWL business
unless otherwise stipulated.
one or two copies only OF thH paper Hil ~ sent 10
-dyrrtser- unless special agreement e th@ contrary
i made
ohoartes exceeding four lines viii n,.abasRsd same
ss Advertisements.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11

LEROY ID. BALL,
Formerly Surveyor-General
Of Florida.
The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1884-03-11
$1,000 REWARD!
BY

M. LIVELY, Druggist.
TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA.
Jan %, lSS4-ly-cew