The state journal. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1883-1885, 1884-11-01
THE CLOWNS PROCESSION


,Fellow named Teddy Magee,
Rolling homewa' one night frorl spree,
Met the parson, who said
q. IN, drunk again, Ted. p
Life.
Think not the girl you love loves not;
She loves. depend upon it,
WIN wiling heart she'll share your LOT,
". Y. LIE.
uOh, Emma sarah said the man,
You charming little Ioiry,
Please get my hat. ~ VAL, she SaldI
# am your emissaF J."
ECtnciunati ComalerciGE TrdUsller.
I The poet wrote sonnet.
"TO fhe dim PIE on her Chin,
And sent il to q paper
With reQi. St They'd put it In"
Next morning he was frantic
And he sworeit was sin,
when he folnd his sonnet headed
To the Pimplc on her Chin
"The Judge" I'm clearing the deck for
action, as the gambler said when ne took
the ace Of clubs from the packard secluded
it in his coat sleeve
Lowell "C0ufior:' Tie President now
sits with his Hatton Ia the cablnet-and he
such gentleman
y n. Y. "Tribune:" A gentleman who
has lust returned from West Virginia says
small town, from the mountains, with
I niger" for SALE having never heard Of
the late war. If there are many such men
il the State il is no wonder that tits Dem
Ocratic.
New York Mail" The young women
of Newark, n J., have bound themselves
bv oath not to kiss any man who chews
tobacco. 1t must b very difficult for
IN Iuf Of fnh
chewers ifthey have to bind themselves
n. \. Journal" syindex-When
men quarrel about a woman do they
do wrong to fight r. mo, they duel,
Of course.
Pittsburg Telegraph" Katharine
Kurz wants divorce from her husband.
Possibly he was one of the Kurzes
which do rot, like chickens, come home
TO roost.
N y. journal" "a box on the coach
is worth two on the ear, I said the coach
man, as the heircss slapped him for smil-
ing al her.
"CaIl Pretzel's Weekly" 81 must con-
graduate you on yolrapparent success,
remarked gentlemen to young man
who had just opened writing school in
the village Thanks" replied the
teacher, 81 hope to flourish"
"Drake's Magazine" Every Mussu-
man is entitled TO four wives and no
more. Goodness gracious! isn't that
4 enough It sometimes takes q mussle-man
to get along with one
New York "COn Adv AT recent
marriage ceremony in one Of the Provi-
dcnce churches the contracting parties
were thirty minutes behind time and the
organ peacd out: ~. dear what can the
matter be ~
Phila. Call" Engli:hmen Of sense,
it is said, now ride in third class cars.
This, we suppose, is to avoid the unpleaS
ant society Of lords Who ride first class.
y. 7. Graphic" "A millionaire writes:
How snail m Ike ny daughter happy?"
F, Let him hire newspaper man for his
cOachman
Puck 1t is IN old saying that
money makes the mare go" But when
we read Of $4,000 being paid for the
Queen OF the Turf, we begin to think
that the saying should be changed to
''mare makes the money go"
Boston "GiObe:" An observing gen
tleman declares a woman will locate any
thing by lis proximity to dry goods or
jewelry store, While man will say it is
so many doors from q corner grocery or
saloon.
MY Life" Tommy What do you
think happened? Our teacher had per-
plexity shock L iith--Perplexitys shock
You mean parallel stroke.
Boston Transcript" II is said that
American babies swallow 1900 tnimbles
annually. This may account for the sur
nF In ho
composition of the grown up American
baby.
Yonkers Statesman When men ale
seen in knots, j. doesn't follow that they
have been eating green apples.
Texas "Si5tings:' "What two beauti
full children Are they twins?' said
an old bachelor to an Austin lady with
two children. con, yes, they are twins"
replied the lady. ''Bxcuse my curiosity,
madame; but ale you the mother Of both
of them"
Burlington ''Hawkeye:' eff you want
to look for heroes in our days saws q
woman writer, you must look for them
in the kitchen" Fact. That's where
the policeman spends most Of his time
while on duty.
Washington 'natchgt;' Say, Thud."
''Well?'' Are you ford of musicY' Il
should MARBLE. Cot two notes last week
that cost me two hundred dollars, and am
just now informed that there is another
one there that will be mine if the other
fellow docsn Pay it Off i
Boston Transcript" That Bridge
port woman has elopcd with Boston
drummer should have known that the
business Of the drummer is TO sell every
body he can.
Phila Call" A black calf was mis-
taken for bear by some amateur hunts
men in Michigan, the other day. Did
they kill the calf? Oh, no They ran.
Puck Teacher 10 class in history
What become Of the Santa Maria after
Columbus had finished his voyages?
Bright pupil was turned over to
the United States and is now in the u. S.
Navy.
The Judge" "Come home and share
pot luck with me, as Deal said to Shuttle
when he invited the latter to his house
for quiet little game of poker.
brakes Travellers Magazine"
Young llopesby says the worse trait pos
sessed by his girls father is his proness
to n1isconstrue plain, practiele questions.
When he asked the man for his daughters
hand, the father gave him his foot; Such
weakness in father is enough to dis
courage the most persistent and passion,
ate lover.
Phila. Call A Western girl never
appreciates the advantage ola fine educa-
tion until she sees the Eastern girl read
ing French novels in the original.
Puck This is the time Of year when
the young lady goes hunting for autumn
leaves and finds more hay fever and rheu
matism and influenza and wood ticks
than she knows what to do with.
n. y. "Graphic:" Where should we
be- asks the Chicago Current had
Christnr,hnr CnlI,1ln hl1s cailnl 10 n I-..;..l