The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1884-09-11
Choosing a Husband.

1t is not, of course, every girl who
has the power of choosing husband, in
the sense of selecting and appropriating.
the one among her male acquaintance
who pleases her best. 1t is not natural
that she should do this, and when nature
is not followed there is generally a dis
astrous ending. 1t is true that love
sometimes begets love; but, on the other
hand, nothing is more likely to check it
than too ready response in the early
stages. If man'slove is genuine, if he
is not deceiving himself in fancying he
has an affection which he does not really
feel, be wants no encouragement beyond
the ordinary conduct which politeness
and good feeling dictate. If, without
any further encouragement, love dies
away, it is pretty certain that it had very
weak roots. If proposal comes before
girl has allowed herself to believe that
little attentions offered to her had any
special meaning-before she has permit
ted her feelings to shape themselves as
they might have done-no harm will
follow. It is unfair to expect that girl
should be ready to yield the moment the
word is spoken, and yet be ready to 60
her own way, without any cause OF COM
plant if the word is not spoken. No
sensible man, no man whose affection is
worth retaining, is driven away by being
told by the lady OF his choice that she
likes him, that she feels that in time she
may come to love him, but that her heart
is not yet his. If he really loves her he
will come back again, and it is pretty
certain that he will learn before second
asking whether his affection is returned
or not. But girl, if she cannot always
choose, can always refuse; and generally
her difficulty is this-it is evident that
this man is making love to me, l do not
love him, but think might do so if |
choose shall choose or shall forbear?
It is here that the power of choice come
in !; and it is here that the voice of pru::
dence must be heard, if It is to bH-heard
at all. ;. In such circumstances girl ol oWlll
act wisely if she sEges =coqsideIAHe
weight tos the general opinion z tlAtsis
held of the gentleman in question BY his
professional brethren or his business &C.
quaintances. 1t is, in short, not the man
who is agreeable among women, but he
who is we'll liked by his own seq, wboyis
the man to choose for 9 husband. There
are certain persons, however, of the op-
posite sex who are almost as good judges
Of mans disposition as those of his
own, and they are his; sisters. A girl
can always tell how q man. stands with
his sisters: if they are really fond OF
him, she may be almost sure that he will
make good husband. "a A mother, of
course always speaks well Of. her son it
is not what she says Of him, but his
behavior to her, that is to- be looked to.
And lady may feel certain on this
point, that as a man ~ treats his moth.
er and sister, so he will treat her six
months after marriage. All this may
seem very cold blooded, verytar removed
from the tender feeling which courtship
induces. But, after alls; .: girl has q
choice to make-a choice upon which
the happiness of her whole, life will de:
pend; and there is always time wheth-
er.she notices i, or not, before she parts
with the control of her heart, at which
she ought to listen TO her judgment.
Without better evidence than her own
feelings she is very likely to. make 9
mistake; but if she can assure herself
that her lover is 8 man who is. respected
and liked by his male friends, and is
favorite at home, she may be pretty sure
that in listening to his love she is choos'
ing wisely.