Morning journal and courier., 1884-09-24
JUDGMENT

If the girls will play ball they must expect to get hurt. We read that young lady in Michigan has been severely injured by the bite of bat.-Burlingto Free Press.
 t'Mrs Jones'" exclaimed Smithers, saun- tering into the breakfast room, ''the war in China has removed one serious cause for com plaint against you" Against me!' replied the presiding matron from behind the urn. ttYes, I see that the market reports quote tea as being stronger. ."-Boston Courier.
 s'You are very late sending your evening male out" said the editor to his daughter when he came home at two in the morning and met timid, shrinking young be- tween the front door and the gate. 'FNot at all, !" answered the thoughtful girl, ''Charles town Transcript.
 An Austin colored man, with protruding eyes, rushed into Justice Tegener's office and exclaimed: FI wants Cal Jones, who libs next door to me, put under million dollars bond ter keep de peace" 'fHas he threat ened your lifeg' EtHe has done dat berry ding He said he war gwine ter fill de next niggah he found after dark in his hen house plum full of buekshot. t."-Texas Siftings.
 She was remarkably sensible young lady who made the request of her friends that af- ter her decease she should not be buried by the side of brook, where babbling lovers would wake her from her dreams; nor in any grand cemetery, where sightseers, coming over epitaphs, might disturb her, but be laid away to her last sleep under the counter of some merchant who did not advertise in tn @ newspapers There, she said was to be found depth of quiet slumber on which neither the sound of the buoyant foot of youth nor the weary shuttle of old age would ever intrude. Albany (Ga.) News
 ''Pleath, thir, I want to buy paper" The editor of our 1oathsome contemporary e.z little boy, so you want a paper, do you ! Well, you should have gone into the count ing room down stairs to get it. However never mind; I think I can find one here for you. An, there it is, my little man. Do you want it for yourself ?' ''Yeth, thin" :" ssWel1, then, you needn't pay anything, I'm always glad to encourage little boys who waut to read good, substantial literature. I'll warrant your papa has begun your educa- tion right" "I don't want it to read, thir 3 ttWhat for, then !'' ''To make kite, thir. it'll make bully kite. Pa says it's the ightest paper he ever thaw. Chicago News.
 A citizen of Woodward avenue was yester- day bossing the work of fitting screen doors to his house when man with very chari- table expression of countenance turned in at the gate and inquired: 'EGoing to have screen doors?' 'fYes. :" F'To keep flies out?' F'Yes. 3 t'Then stop work right where you are You VOL u00u 0lu WHY LOI: DocduS6 l live just back of you on the other street, and this morning boughta COW. I'm going to keep her in the barn all summer, and you can bet your bottom dollar that every fly in the city of Detroit will put in his full time on her back. I had one three years ago, and she drew in flies from seven miles around, and three different f1y-screen men sued me for damages for killing their summers business!"-Detroit Free Press.
 A woman is far more sensitive than man She has finer feelings and more delicate mind There are very few men who realize this, and in consequence woman is made to endure much unnecessary suffering. One of our merchants was going to church with his wife on Sunday morning, when she suddenly stopped, and put her hand to her head. .tWhat's the matter?' he asked, star tied by the look on her face. "OhI have got on my brown hat' F'Eh?" calculated the astonished man. She burst into tears. .tWhy, Martha, what is the matter with youa'' he demanded Don't you see what is the matter2" she returned in sobbing voice. ttI've got on my brown hat with my striped silk Oh, what will people says"-Danbury News