Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1884-05-23
A SOULLESS LIFE.

.B T.. i; u, = III Y. @ Times Democrat J
l knew "a woman. who held in a
strong, fine body >oul as sensitive as
wind harp; every breath made it
vibrate; minor melodies, the white and
classic beauty of a statue, the tones of
Co.Cr III painting. the subtle thought
and stately flow of a poem. the song of
rd. sunlight on the sen, the velvet
bloom and cu1ve OF womans cheek,
tie muscles sloping under the brown
SKIN OF man, even the yellow eyes of n
happy-hearted daisy, all filled her sensu-
ons soul with exhausting, unspeakable
rapture.
In Ike proportions were her griefs
all harsh, all unlovelv things Jared
upon her as cruel, iangling discords
and wounds that to healthier, more
robust natures were but as bramble
scratches, to this foolish, sensitive spirit
were as the thrust of dagger whose
wounds rankled forever.
Ey one of those inexplicable decisions
of immutable fate this woman was
placed among surroundings that re-
quired spiritual equipoise like that of
her body. No more intolerable life for
such = nature may be conceived. Her
wild struggles against her destiny were
III VAIN, for the walls of implacable cir
cun. stances are not beaten down by any
hutterings. even the most passionate.
One st:ll black night, after long years
Of spiritual travail and unending tur-
mol, her soul died within her She
felt that change was ulon her: lain
all in lily VIII te along her virgin couch,
staring with wide eyes into the black
ness that c'asped her oil about, touched
family with awe, but most conscious of
suprt HE exhaustion, knowing that the
end had come.
The raseless struggle that ragged
within her was wearing toward its
close: was it bodily death? She hoped
for that, believed it WAS and met it
with glad courage, vet some shrink
ing o. the flesh. lcl as the bravest feel
standing ut the strait and dreadful
pass of death" What was to come
after tie passing of breath? Oblivion
she lelie, ed, but that one cannot
know: in any case. she did not fear, it
could he no worse than life
We know not whether d-.ath he good.
Rn' life ~ least it will not be-"
And the slow. heavy pulsing of her
heart was but the involuntary struggle
of the flesh. like the convulsive flicker
ing of lamp when the oil is all gone
Thus she lying straightly, with her
arms beneath her heal, waited calmly,
sonneAh hat curiorsly, what might come.
All her life her tossngs to and fro of
SOUL lay clearly before her; and re-
membering these things, she yearned
toward re)o>e, toward oblivion. as
dazz Ell eyes ache toward utter dark,
nes.. edvier her heart throbbed. but
surrey. slowly her soul slippel from
her. i'arel up once more family and
died.
All through the hours of darkness she
Law motionless, neither conscious nor
unconscious, as lies the overthrow
Memnon in the black desert nights.
With the light she woke to life, but a
life numb and frozen. The dawn did
not touch her lips into song. Her
hated surroundings no longer filed her
with loIth'ng: quiet lack of feeling
alvZesl, but not of the BODY
This fillel her with faint surprise at
first when she found her pleasures gone
also; music no longer thrilled her,
beauty had lost its power She tried
| sometimes to rouse emotion again, to
spur her old hates, her fervid predilec-
tons, hut ever fell back after the effort
with O calm reali alton of the useless
ness OF if. Long, deep thought showed
her the trne canse at last, and the only
sen alton she knew was desire to con-
ceal it, like the effort madman makes
to hide his loss of mind
She rarely looked IN any ones eyes,
fearing they might see through the
souls win Ow1 how dark and empty
was the house; ever keeping her lids
lowered, as woman who loves, or o
man who feels drug mounting to his
brain.
Carefully she always said the things
she had leen used to say, fierce, scorn-
full or tender, as her fervid feelings had
been. Saying them with precision, but
mechanically, as one who feels the
fumes of chloroform and though con-
scious of what he must say, painfully
hears his own words as from thousands
of miles away mingled with the gigan-
tic thunders Of his brain, and vaguely
wonders what they mear, what ideas
they repr, mt.
And SO lived out the long life allotted
by unrelenting destiny, undetected save
once by man who loved her; q man
with very subtle instincts, who looking
deeply in her eyes started away with
fear; he could not pierce the depth OF
those dark wells.
He left her full of awe, as one who
had seen the dead rise and walk, and
erasping Into the dark after the vague
truth that ever just eluded his grasp.
Once, and only once did the tears ever
come to those vacant eyes, when she
stood by the grave of one she had loved
much, and felt faint pathos in her
absence of grief.
At last, the fame having died out
the fuel slowly fell to cold gray ashes