davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20

The sight Of a mc,c shining silk hat brings
tears to my eyes.
The American people devote too much
thought and too much time to politics. II
any man refers to politics ip my house here
aftor, will set him up in the -eQuiescat
business The following notice is posted in
the main lall, where visitJrs present th:-r
credentials;
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20
Necessity the Mother Of 1nventIoa



why did you put that nickel with a hole
in it in the 'contri ution boxr asked one
man Of another.
Because could not put the hole in with
out the nickel, and had TO pus in some
thing
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20
Why the Clowns Jokes Never Changs.
Iphilndel-hin Nama

In 17S0 Gen. George Washing on att 'nte1
while in this eiy tnr ii st circus ever star.. u
in this country, Out of respect for bis
memory, no change has yet beer male IL,
the clowns ks
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20

Parties referring to the lat1
election In a light or flippant
mannor will piease state, before
leaving, what size OF coffin they
wear. and whether they desire to
:: be lu,ied in,xpensively or with
pomp and eclat.
Estimates of pomp and eclat
: furnished on application.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20
Why the Squire Smiled.
IChambersburg REPOSITORY

tNA"hHHNi'"uAk ANNISeaNphJ'J
A little girl on North Main street had been
given some verses to commit to memory by
her Sunday school teacher last Sunday. She
lola her mother about it on coming home
ana said they were the first three verses of a
chapter In St John. Her little brother,
who was in the room, at oncs exclaimed,
with a thumpof his fist on the table: Papa,
lon't lot her learn them! That's the man
who beat BlaineF The squire smiled au-
! dlllv
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20

RichEaond State: 1t is said that marina.
lads is now being made from banana skins
AnytbIag to keep them II the sidewalkS
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20
What has happen DR.

Lowell Courier

These two advertisements appear in the
following order in Fall River paper:
NOTICE. hereby forbid all persons trust
- ting my wife, MIRA Hannah Froeiove, on my a.
count, on and after this date. Cslgned) JOSEPH >
FRhKI.ovE
X OTItE-l never contracted Ave cents 2
y n bill in my husband's Gcseph r. Frrelove =
name. lie was too miseraby stingy TO buy me -
~ h as brass wedh n; ring. ! challenge hhR {,
| contradict this. HANNAH FREELOYE
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20
On the Evils Of Election Batting.
Reflections by Bin Nye.1

I1FNE1SNVIVI'
Our days are as the grass,
Or like morning flower,
When chilling winds sweep Ger the plain.
They with>r in an hour
How vain AMI empty are things torres
trial. How void and vacant the whole
earth see.ns to him who buys plug hat for
another man. We think W. can read the
signs of tho times in the torchlir ht process
sion, but We cannot We guess on the gen.
eral result ami then purcDa'e a now over
coat for total stranger, while wa steer our
own arms down into tho mysterious lining
Of our three Tear old coat aNi f e SAL Tlc
sight of n W sh ming hat brings the tears
t. my eyoS
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20

Boston Transcript: Wanted: A turkey
With four legs and six wish bonea
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20

A little child oiseven or eight, said
when the Bible spoke Of "chrildrens
ehrildron" it must mean their dolls.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20
Put in to I1easO the Counting Room.

Put in to I1easc the Counting Room.
tBlOomington Eyei
Little drops of printers iAk,
A little typ, 'disp ayei."
Makes our merchant princes
Wilh all their big para,ie.
Little lits ot stingncSs-
DscarIing printers ink
'lustS" the man Of business,
AMI secs Ills credit sink
COnnWDial Philosophy.
Iockhavsn Express.
A shrewd d t.dy Of TINS pla,s caution d
her married daugh er against worryinS nor
usban too much, an, c,nc!u led hy say
ing: my Vhill, a man is like an egg. X'p'
in hot water httle whe he may boil rdft,
Iut keep him there too long 9ni he hardens" "
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20

This world is full OF fools, and he
who would not see one must shut him
self up alone, and break his looking
rlnsG.-Fronch Proverb.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-12-20

Asl approve Of youth that has
something Of the old man in him, so
am no less pleased with an old man
that has something of the youth
CICIRo.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
The Man in the Moon Heard From

At the astronomical observatory of Berlin
says translation from NyG Fressen Heistng-
for. discovery has lately been made which,
without doubt, will cause the greatest sensa.
ton. not only among the adopts in science,
but even among the most learned Profess
sor Blendmann, in that city, has found, be-
yond a doubt that our old friend, the moon,
Is not a mere lantern which kindly furnishes
light for the loving youth and gas companies
of our planet, but the abode of living. intel
ligent beings, for which he is prepared to
furnish proofs most convincing.
This question has agitated humanity from
time immemorial, and has been the object of
the greatest interest. But the opinions have
always differed very widely, and no two minds
held one and the same. Already in ancient
times the belief prevailed that the moon was
inhabited with some higher organized, intel
ligent beings, somewhat resembling man,
and in order to communicate with them the
early enthusiastic planted rows Of trees sew
eral miles in length so as to form the figure
of the Pythagorean theorem. The celebrated
astronomer, Schroeder, in the beginning of
the present century, fancied that he could
detect places on the surface of the moon
which periodically grew lighter and darker,
and from this fact he derived the conclusion
that the phenomenon was proof of existing
vegetation. During the last few decades,
however. the idea of life on the moon has
been held up to ridicule, and totally scorned
by men of learning. But nevertheless, /,
has now been proved to be correct.
BY accident Doctor Blendmann found that
the observations of the moon gave but very
unsatisfactory results, owing to the intensity
of the light power Of the moons atmosphere,
which is that strong that it effects the cor
rectuess of the observations in a very high
degree. He then conceived the idea to make
the obiect-glass of the refractor, less sensi.
tive to the rays of light, and for that purpose
he darkened it with the smoke of camphor
1t took months of experimenting before he
succeeded in finding his right degree of OBJ.
security of the glass, and when finally found
he then with the refactor rock very accurate
photo of the moons surface. This he placed
| in a sun microscope. which gave the picture
q diameter of fifty Ave and one half feet
The revelation was most startling. 1t per
fectly overturned all hitherto entertained
ideas OF the moons surface. Those level
plains which formerly we're held to be ocean,
of water proved to be verdant fields. and what
formerly was considered mountains turned
out as deserts of sand and oceans of water.
Towns and habitations of all kinds were
plainly discernable, as well as signs of indus
try and traffic. The leaned professors stu
DIV and observations of old Luna will be re
pested every full moon, when the sky i,
clear, and we venture to predict that the time
| is not far of when we shall know more abou
| the man in the moon as being an agent il
English politics.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
vital Questions I'LL

AK the most eminent physician
az any school, what il the best thing in
re- world for quieting and allaying all irrita-
tion Of the nerves. and curing all forms OF
nervous complaints, giving natural, chiidlike,
refreshing sleep always?
..Some form of Hops . !"
CHAPTER I.
Ask any or all Of the most eminent physi-
mWhas ia the best and only remedy that
can be relied on to cure all diseases of the
kidneys and urinary organs; such as Bright 8
disease, diabetes, retention, or inability TO
retain urine, and all the diseases and ailments
peculiar To Women
sand they will tell you explicitly and EN-
phatically .'Buchu
Ask the same physicians
ssWhat Is the most reliable and surest cure
for all liver diseases or dyspepsia; constipa-
tor, indigestion. biliousness, malaria, fever,
ague, &c." and they will tell you:
Mandrake! or Dandelion. !"
Hence when these remedies are combined will
others equally valuable.
And Compounded into Hop Bitters, such wonder
full and mysterious curative power u developed
or III health possibly exist or resist its power
Harmless for the most frail woman. weakest in
CHAPTER II.
"Patients
"Almost dead or nearly dying"
For years, and given up by physicians, o.
Bright's and other kidney diseases, liver com
plants, severe coughs, called consumption
have been cured.
Women gone nearly crazy! !!
From agony Of neuralgia, nervousness
wakefnIness and yarious diseases peculiar Il
women. as
People drawn out Of shape from excruciatinl
pangs Of rhcamatism, infammatory and chronic, o
suffering from scrofula
Erysipelasl
"Saltrheum. blood poisoning, dyspfpsia. indiges
ton, and, 10 fact, almost all diseases fraiF'
Nature Ia heir to
Have been cured by Hop Bitiers,. proof of whic
can be found in every peigborhood In the know
world,
a5-None genuine without . bunch Of green Hop
on the white label. shun all the vile, poisonou
stuff with "Hop" or "Hops" Ia their name.
9 Jnlyideod&wnr
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

walked straight up to Katie Grantley,
paying no attention TO the eyes turned up
on her and her compani6n-some with
amusement. others with censure. but all
with something of envy in their glances
You naughty girl!'' she said; but Katie
only laughed roguishly, for she was my
lords ally and friend.
1t was still the holiday season when a
message was sent by telegraph to Lord
Alfred Richlands that blanched the face of
Agnes Ardagb as she transmitted it to
paper, and it was with difficulty that she
continued her duties for the day. This
was il:
Lord Grassgrove is dead - suddenly.
Your presence is required Immediately. ="
ITO be continued.)
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

Pure Cod-Liver Oil made from selected
livers, on the sea-shore, by CAswELL, HAZARD
& Co, New York. 1t is absolutely pure and
sweet. Patients who have once taken il
prefer it to all others. Physicians have
decided it superior to any of the other oils in
market.
Chapped hands, face, pimples, and rough
skin, cured by using JUMPER TAR Soar, made
by CAswELL, HAZARD & Co., New York.
acknowledgements
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

Mr.. G. n. Boyer, Carlton, Quebec, Cam
ada. writes that he suffered with lame back,
and after trying all other remedies without
effect, he finally tried ST. Jacobs Oil, the
magical pain-conquerer, and was completely
cured.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
Railroads aro Steamboats,.
MAINE CENTRAL RAILROAD.
Mt. Desert Branch Now Ready for
Business.
Additional Train Service.

On and after June Esd. 1884. trains will leave
Augusta
For Lewiston, Portland and Boston at &C., q.55
and 1890 A. NJ, 2.4s, $50 and ll,00 L. NJ
The 9.55 train Is accommodation, stopping at all
stations the 1880 train stops at Hallowel Gardiner
and Brunswick only. The 30 Z. NJ train is the Fast
Express and stops between Augusta and Portland.
at Hallowell. Gardiner and Brunswick only. Ar
rives in Boston at $50 P. NJ.
For Rockland, 500 and 1890 A. M, and on Satur-
days only at 24S and $50 Z. NJ.
For Pennington, 800 and 1880 A. NJ
For Bath, 600 and 1880 A. M; 2.iS and $50 Il. NJ,
and on Saturdays only at II p. Nj.
For waterville 2.26 and 9.i5 A. M; 800, 81 and
500 NJ.
For skowhegan. Belfast and Dexter. 2.2o A. NJ.
1857 p. NJ.
For Aroestook county and st. John, 2.2o A. NJ.
800 and 3.5I Z. NJ.
For Bangor at 2.2o A. M; 800. s.s7 and 500 T. NJ.
The 500 NJ. train for Bangor stops at Water
vile only.
For Ellsworth and Bar Harbor. 2.2O A. NJ; 800
p. NJ.
Night Pullman Trains each way every night, SUN.
days Included, but not to Skowhegan on Monday
mornings. or to Belfast and Dexter. beyond Ban
gor except to Bar Harbor, on Sunday mornings.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

Because it is scientifically ordered COM
pound, of great potency. the product
of wears of study, observation. and ex.
perience in the treatment of throat and
lung diseases.
Because it is prepared from the .purest
forms of the drugs employed in 1t,
chemically combined by a process of
such perfection and accuracy as would
be unattainable, even by the most
skillful pharmacist, dealing with small
quantities.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

1t expels the mucus from the throat and
the air passages of the head, and
eleanses the mucous membrane.
1t allays Inflammation, puts q stop TO
tickling in the throat and coughing.
and enables the patient to rest.
1t heals sore throat, reduces the swollen
tonsils, and restores natural tone to
the affected vocal cords.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

Because it is not only the most effective
medicine for the uses to which it is
designed, but, owing to the enormous
quantities in which it is made, is sold a.
so low a price that 1t is placed within
the reach of every household.
Because it is an active curative agent,
that must be taken by drops, as pre-
scribed in the directions accompanying
each bottle, and not mere palliative
syrup that may be swallowed by
mouthfuls.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
Worth Thinking Of.
What Ayers Cherry PectoraI does :

1t breaks up cold, and stops q cough
more speedily, certainly, and thorough
ly than any other medicine.
1t spares mothers much painful anxiety
about their children, and saves the little
ones lives.
1t cures all lung and throat diseases that
can be reached by human aid.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
.oxer the HIlls hal ,he Poor Ho..e. .

A person with impaired or impoverished
blood is on the road to physical bankruptcy.
Burdock Blood Bitters strengthen and enrich
the circulation, repair the tissues, and build
up the entire system. june30t
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
How Ayers Cherry PectoraI Does Such Good.

1t soothes to natural and refreshing
slumber, during which Nature regains
strength to combat disease.
1t clears out and heals diseased air cells
in the lungs, and helps Nature to repair
the waste made by the corrosion OF pull
monary disease.
1t puts stop to the cankerous decay of
Catarrh.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

CONDENSED NEws.-From all directions
come approving words for Kean's Kidney and
Back Plasters. Hundreds have given them
trial, and now will use no other.
june9t&wtf
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

The Hop Plaster will cure Back Ache, and
all other pains instantly. % cts. only at
druggists. julyld&wlw
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
COLLEGE.

EXAMINATIONS for admission to college win be
II held at the cleveland Lecture Room, Massa-
chusetts Hall, on FRIDAY and SATURDAY, July nth
and 18th, and on FRIDAY and SATURDAY, Sept. 26sh
and 9th, beginning each day ut $50 A. NJ. An can.
didates must be present on Friday morning.
ALPHEUS 8. PACKARD.
ACTING PRESIDENT.
junezst&wsw
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

It prevents the growth, to serious i'll
ness, of O dangerous class Of diseases
that begin as mere trivial ailments. and
are too apt TO be neglected as such.
1t alleviates even the most desperate
cases of pulmonary diseases, and
affords TO the patient last and the
only chance for restoration to health.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

Through tickets to California and all points South
and West may be had of 4. II. Walker, ticket agent
Augusta, the only Office selling via all routes and
checking baggage free Of expense.
PAYS0N TUCKER, Gen1 Manager.
F.E. BOOTHBY, Gtn1 Pass. and Ticket Ag't.
Portland, June Is, 1884.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03
100000 /! y

/ WILL be paid TO any enc who viii find particle
w of Mercury, Potash, Iodine, Arsenic, or any
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1884-07-03

Hog Cholera &C. Sold everywhere by &c IN
stamps Furnished In large price $l00 by mail s20
Circulars free. l. s. JOHNSON CO., Boston, Mass
rfadAu1v
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-08-25

iwas. Bit tho, fnbsoil Ok 1sepubli saniisslntII
vas here, and the aocd which tho 1sTrlsI
iiorscrR scattered day Sby day III those
ycars fell upon fruitful ground and sprang
up and bore fruit several hundredfold, as
the greatly increased vote CASTOR Abraham
Lincoln In 1850 fully ,attests That vote
was the nucleus around which rallied con.
centric circles Of sentiment more Or less
sympathetic, that saved West Virginia to
the Union and finally secured her. perlna!
nent release from yassnlnge to Richmond.
OF the part that the ISrELlloEScER play.
ed throughout all the great struggle for tho
union--froin the day that Its tlag hung
GU. Of the window (uiicr the ordinance Of
secession passcd) almost solitary and
alone, We do not propose to speak. 1t Is
part Of the history OF all those incmor.
able days, the true accoun. Of which has
yet to bowrittcn. Much has been written
in n personal and partisan way Of those
days, and Of tho agencies and Influences
| By which certain things were done. AS
Lord Coke says, "One man avcrroth ono
thing and another man avcrretl another,
but.the verify Is the record" III
| The history OF tho lSrELsidEScEa before
the war, during tho war and since, runs
parallel with the rise and progress! Of the
Republican party. 1t embraced that iaith
Mt tho outset and has kept that faitl, all
( along as the surest guaranty Of good, pres
Ont and ultimate, to tho greatest number
OF people in all TINT concerns our liberties
and our interests. Whatever the mistakes
Of the Republican party, VIC hold TINT Il
has made fewer Of them, and those few o.
less moment, than any party that was ever
| in power for tho sans length OF titno II
f. this or any other country. On tho Other
hand, II lias done moro truly great acts fo
the good Of tho American people and nj
mankind-acts that will tower uloit Xix,
monuments rs time rcccdcs-than any par
/: ty that ever existed among men. Its mot
40 has been substantially that Of the erca
and good Lincoln, its greatest representa-
tvs, let us pursue The right, us God give
2 us 10 understand the right" .i.t ii
For these reasons, holding this faith il
regard TO the Republican party, the intel
LIdEScER continues now rs in the past t
uphold its policy and support its candi
dates m q. . ----saz -,... & a
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-08-25
PERSONAL.

Minister Taft was received by tho En-
pcror Joseph Friday, preparatory to tho
formers intended departure for his new
post ms Minister ut st. Petersburg. Il \
Mr.. ,Bourinot, honorary secretary Of the
Royal Society OF Canada, has received cir
culars. extending 4 cordial invitation to
that body of literary men to visit. Philalcl-
phin next month, OIL the occasion Of the
meeting Of the American Association.
In middle life Mr.. Gladstone formulated
to himself rules for chewing food. Thirty
two bites were to be given to each mouth
full OF meat, certain less numbers Of, fish,
bread, etc. These rules he has since
adhered to, and he has trained his children
to do the same. a.
AurcIian scholI has founded no Hess
than ten journals during his thirty years
career in Paris, and has fought nearly
twice that number OF duels. llisiirst en-.
gagemcnt was on the Ndtddt. u little boulc-
ward sheet princeton gutta percha and sold
ut the public bath-housc.
Lieutenant General Sheridan and staff
will arrive ut Fall River via tho steamer
Pilgrim, OF the Fall River Line, on Thurs
tEty morning, the -oll lllst', Wilelc spec
ial ear will be provided by the Old Colony
4 Newport railroad, in which the General
and party will proceed TO Wcirs, \: H., via
Lowell, 10 attend tho reunion OF the New
Hampshire veterans. "a
II never sawShcridan in battle" said III
old soldier in Chicago last week, sand l
was on the other side in the war. But
would rather sec him than any man living
l knew him thirty years ago, when he was
in Texas. The boys on tho frontier used
to ride a good many miles 10 hcara certain
little lieutenant sing Irish songs $l4e was
u spEightly fellow, active as cat, and tho
best song-and-dancc man there was at that
day OIL the frontier. lie could beat any
man ever heard at an Irish song. That
Lieutenant WAS Phil Sheridan, and Would
like 10 hear him sing now" !.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-08-25
REPUBLICAN COUNTY TICKET.

d
I AZ yon SHERIFF, ~
FRANK JO1iSeoS. g..,s. 4
CLERK es TIE CIRCUIT cocRT,
CHARLES s. HOWELL.
CLERK of THE COUNTY COURT,
". NEWT. LYNCH. =
NJ. PROSECUTING ATTORNEY, y
JOSEPH D. ELs0E.
~ AsrssoR, CITY DISTRICT,
FRED. ROLLER.
AssESon, COUNTRY DISTRICT,
.ul wM. a. Mccoy. 81
COUNTY SURVEYOR, e.
CLARENCE r. LAIRD.
IiprsE0f nELEuArEs,
Jlt Il. p0VENER,
A. C.. I. EBELlSG,
4 J. BARKER,
COL ". d. CURTIS.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-08-25

"Y rs; I shall break tho engagement
she said, folding her arms and looking do
tiant sit. is + really too much + trouble
to converse with him; he's ,ns deaf
as q post, and talks like u he chad I. n
monthful ofmush. Besides, tho way he
hawks and ,spits is disgusting Ess.s'Don't
break the engagement for TINT ;stell'him.
to take DR.. Sagc's Catarrli Remcdy.fIt will
cure him completely" s""Woll, Tllhlll him.
lido hate to break it OF, for in all Other no
spcctshe isquitctoo charming" OF course,
it cured his catarrh. 2. 4.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-08-25
FITS

All Fits stopped free by Dr.. Elinos Great Scrvo
Restorer No Fits after first days t,sc.t Marvellous
ctlrcs Treatise and s. trial bottle FREQ to FIJI cases
send 70 Dr.. Kline, 93lS Arch streets Philadelphia,
H. 20 cancer Institute e3l Philadelphia,