The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-01-09
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

What has Random done that so many
people shoot at him?
Illuminated manuscript"-that which
is burning with wit.
She is out of print now-the woman
who went back on calico to wear silk.
It isn't great ways to the end of
cats nose, but it's fur to the end OF It's
toll.
The nskeleton in the closet" was first
discovered when the hoopskirt was in
vented.
It is hard to tell when lie, mos
quito or a delinquent subscriber is going
to settle.
No Zincola. A man does not receive
a baSk pension because he was shot III
the back.
How a woman can keep on talking
while she twists up her back hair and
has her mouth full of hairplns is mys-
terry not yet explained.
japan has weather bureau also, but
it is wise and discreet, and doesn't pre-
dict rain until after the rain has soaked
things for day or two.
When Man finds a dog collar In
niece of mince pie he feels little sorry
for the dog, but his sympathies are
mostly concentrated on himself.
people talk about the ''new moon"
whet there isn't any new moon. 1t Is
the same old moon with tallow dip
nose that has been circling around this
world for ages.
The olaying on of hands cure" IS not
the failure some persons believe 1T to be.
MANY wise and excellent mother has
used it with great success in the treat
nient Of a refractory offspring.
There are 400, 900, 900 people upon
the earth at present, according 10 tns
I latest statistics" said Mrs. smlth, look
ing up from the paper. "Oniy tmnk OF
: itf and we havn't had caller ior TWO
7 dsysw
/ She--'I am fond OF poetry" He
uAre Won. indeed2 So am |. Do you
ike BurnsY' She-''No, indeed; they
ara ~ extressing. But then, am not
troubled fnueh with them, as ma does
: all the cooking.
!, A physician said jocosclly 10 poncs, eso
l. man one evening: II always ieei saie
> when see policeman in the evening"
ii for there is no danger about es,
= safer than feel when | have ooceo'
v about;u was the bright retort.
e Sniffen lin his own estimation the Eis-
Is ;ng noet of America: "Ah, do you
know. Miss Bracing, that my iancae'
y always come to me IN my oreai's.
n Miss Bracino: "Yes9 that Is perhaps
70 Thv they make other people so sleepy.
n Sniffen. after moments hesitation con
"a l1a xUnll tn retire 10
% while.
m A Young lady, evidently impressed
u with the idea that she knows all apou
7, II saws; 'If fellow is desperately Il
a love with girl and is persistent IN M
9 efforts to win her, he is sure to gam hn
re suit. Wid1wers understand this point
lo and know exactly how to make love an'
\ propose, and you will observe they AT
. always successful"
\ Professor Newton says that the eartl
a. receives about 5000, coo, 600 OF meteor
90 every wear, but they only increase tn
al size of the earth one inch in 100, OO0,OOV
-, wears. This agrees with our observation
IS during the past 100, 600, 900 years in n
> card TO the increase in the size OF N
Garth though we never counted as man
as g. 600, 600, 900 meteors in one year.
AS dude was passing a residence
ad Lawrence, Mass, a little girl came to u
RS door and cried; I" Monkey, Monke
come into the housew The dude WI
ed hopping mad, and was just about to rlI
ng the bell and demand apologies OF q
tic family, when he saw that the girl "
calling little pug dog In the slre'
ell He can't get over his own mls'aS
IN though. -