The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-01-11
s~ DEER LODGE, MONTANA, JANUARY II, 1884
WHY WE LAUGH.
"I'm down to bedrock" said henpecked
Pittsburg husband, as he swayed the cradle
containing his bowling son aud heir

"Im down to bedrock" said henpecket
Pittsburg husband, as he swayed the cradl,
containing his bowling son aud heir.
"Isn't this tea too s.eep?" inquired tn,
customer. "Certainly 1t is, sir" was the
reply, ait Is to steep."-N. Y. Commercial
Advertiser.
A coon club In New Hampshire, after hav.
ing been organized ten years, has captured
It's first coon. The coon Is supposed to have
been unwell.
A Baltimore woman by the name of Char
ity struck her husband over the head with .
boot, and came near killing him. Charity
begins at home. a
Queen Victoria Is very fond of apples, and
/ they do say 10 10 interesting TO watch the old
lady popping the seeds on the kitchen stove
to see IL she will get married this year.
swell, may hope, then, dearest, that at
seme time / may have the happiness Of max.
ing you my wife?" eyes, l hope so, am
sure," she replied; 81 am getting tired Of
suing fellows for breach Of promise"
sis this a singing doll ?" asked she of the
clerk. 'Yes, mademoiselle." "How do you
make it sing" "Just as you would any
other young lady" "How is that ?n "By
pressing it." "Oh m-N. Y. Commercial
Advertiser.
A bust Of Mary Anderson is being made
| for the Princess of Wales. After she has
tried to pull the Prince away from It two or
three times she will probably send it I'D to
the back garret, with orders that 1t be turned
face to the wall.-Phiiadelphia Call.
"Oh, to think" said q religious English
man to his gamekeeper, that should have
called you id Internal fool I'm very
sorry. To think that one Christian should
use such language to another! Heaven for
give me! But it's Gods truth all the
same"
A gentleman was giving a little Keokuk
baby boy some peanuts the other day. The
ing to say to the gentleman "With child
ish simplicity the little fellow looked up in
the gentleman's face and replied, "More"
A Lafayette lady-a model wife and mo.
ther-broke her husband of the saloon
habit by walking up beside him and calling
for beer. A Cincinnati woman tried that, but
her husband only replied: "Now, you're
acting sensible; here John, give us two
schooners."
Two little girls were saying their prayers
prior to being tucked In for the night. When
both had finished, the younger of the two
climbed on her mothers knee and said In
confidential, but triumphant whisper "Mo.
ther, Clara only asked for her daily bread
l asked for bread and k.'"-Detroi
Neacs.
The young man who, at the rink Saturday
evening, observed the writer and lady ska
ting together, and made some remark about
"Beauty and the Beast" will hear of some
thing To his disadvantage If he will call at
this office. No punishment is too severe for
a brute who will call lady beast.-Bts-
marck Tribune.
Ulysses S. Grant, Jr., recently bought
"a piece of an apartment house" in New
York for Sll0,oo0. The query arises natJs-
rally as to how many millions man must
be worth In New York before he can buy an
entire sbebang of his own, with a nice yard,
hot and cold water and a stationary wash
stand.-Sdn Francisco Ne,rs Letter.
EYES," coincided Mr.. Williams, as he bit
pretzel, al know piano Is a dreadful in~
Fiction, and violin is worse that 90 days in
jail but as reliable agony producer, the
banjo takes the first premium. You can
shake some melody out of piano without
being obliged to sing, but banjo must have
an accompaniment. And when a spawned
banjo and a half acre hand and a moving
machine vocal organ come together, the re-
suit Is Woe, with big w."
There is a certain Austin man who is
linked for life to lady who enjoys the un
enviable reputation of sadly neglecting her
household duties. One evening her conviy-
ial lord returned from the lodge In a condi.
tion several degrees above the dead level of
plain sobriety. so you miserable wretch p'
she exclaimed, "l'm just burning up with
rage" eyer are, are you?" replied the
man. swell, Betty, thash all right. I'm
glad 1t amt the beefsteak this time"
An exchange relates the following about
Mr.. O'Hsra, the colored Representative from
North Carolina: Not long ago In that State
Mr.. O'Hara had introduced to him q couple
of lately-landed Hibernians, who also bore
the name Of O'Hara. Having a vein of
humor and good powers of mimicry, he in
dulged In some fun at their expense.
"Phwat did Oi understand that yer names
moight be, gentlemen ?" he asked: "O,Hars
Is 1t? Not O'Hara av Kailmainock?" ?" "The
same," replied they in amazement; "an'
who the devil are you?" "Oim yer kins-
man, begorra," said he; "an' be the same
token the cloimat av this country has been
bad for me complexion, as ye may notice.
The two "sons of the sod" have not been
seen In North Caro- lima since.