The Osceola times., 1884-07-12
PAPERING THE SOUTH.

Bin Nye Tells the Story Of the Advance
Agent.
We were talking of the show business
the other evening, an actor and myself.
That is, he was doing most of the talk
ing and ! was doing the heavy listening.
He was chuck full of "reminiscences, and
they were good too. Casually we began
to drift toward the subject of the road,
and naturally as a result we were soon
discussing the advance agent. If there
be anv man on whom the company and
the newspaper man can converse jointly
and proftably it is the advance agent.
In answer to remark of mine that
the average advance agent lacked assur-
ance and cbildlike faith in himself suf-
ficient to succeed, my friend said he
agreed with me. To illustrate that feat
ure ! will tell you a little incident that
occurred prior TO the war. The Viola
Vaseline company was organized in Chi
cago, and | was cast for the heavy vii
ldlll. VIC WtIt W EAdit VI
via st. Louis and Kansas City, taking all
the small towns and working our way
back to New Orleans and through the
South to Washington and New York.
We were to be billed by modest young
man named Milo Hcminway. Milo was
a sad-looking man.v no seemed to be OPP
pressed all the time with his own infe-
riority, like most advance agents. He
had been all over the world, sometimes
in special car with nabob, and again,
locked up in box car loaded with
sugar-cured hams bound for Frisco.
Milo was familiar with SORROW and ac-
quainted with grief. He rode across the
continent once in Pullman car and
had 10 work his way back lecturing on
phrenology. asked him how he came
to lecture on phrenology, and he said it
was first suggested to him 5y hunger he
thought.
Well, Milo Heminway started out OH
the Alton road with 500 and an ever
lasting slew of good paper, with instruc-
tons to bill the company well and to
use his best judgment about the towns
to paper. He was to write frequently to
the manager and report progress, also to
keep him posted as to where letters
should be addressed in order to reach
him as he journeyed on.
Time passed on and we heard nothing
of Mr.. Heninway. The leading come
dian of the company broke his leg be-
foie we could get away from Chicago,
and the soubrette married minstrel
and fled. The manager wrote and tele-
graphed TO Milo for two weeks, but got
no reply. His letters during the ensu-
ing year came safely back from the dead
letter office, but Milo did hot come back.
He had long yearned to see the south,
50 he improved his time. He plastered
the land of Dixie all over with blue
three-sheet posters, and darkened the
windows of nearly every southern gro
Ger with blaci; and yellow hangers, an
nouncing the peerless Viola Naseline
and her great congress of talent now en-
route. He tished and fiirted, and wax
ed fat at the best hotels of the sunny
south, aud cheerfully drew his orders on
the treasurer of the Viola Naseine COM
pany with reckless abandon which was
almost akin to rashness.
He wore shiny plug hat and an Alas.
ka diamond that would burn hole in "A
wet towel. He leaned his pongee silk
vest sp against the best bars south OF
Mason and Dixon's line, and showed his
slim legs under the best dinner tables he
could find. He didn't seem to reck
what the cost might be. He would land
in town, muzzle the press, rent the ho-
tel and in two hours, dressed in a plug
hat and a p ir of high-neck, paste-cover-
ed overalls, he would paper part of the
town blue, and before morning he
would paint the balance red.
He made one grand farewell debut
and glttering dramatic flash from Kan
sas City TO Atlanta, and then sailed for
Havana. l learned the other day that
he was dead. Perhaps he is; but his
deeds can never die. Living. they point
across the stormy desert of a quarter of
a century with their cold, white fingers.
Over his grave they rise like an ever
lasting monument to speak again of
Milo Heminway, the advance agent. No
southern breeze soughs through the mel
ancholy air, redolent of the magnolia's
breath, that does not murmur his name,
and no southern mail reaches Chicago
to-day that does not bear an order from
Milo on the treasurer of the Viola Vase
line Comedy company, and the morbid
request for speedy payment