Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1884-01-24
SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT.
Provided for Those Who Delight in
Funny Paragraphs.
A Difficult Question Answered.


IChicago Tribune.l
"Is this an editOr?"
The horse reporter looked up from a
little idyl on the life and career OF Rysdyck's
Hambletonian, into which he had heen
putting the best efforts of his surging brain,
and beheld rather short young man who
was peering in an affable but somewhat
irresOlute manner over very high collar,
and on whose upper lip was delicate
tracery which looked as if it might have
been effected with some No. 2 molasses,
and at which the young man was making
furtive grasps with the thumb and fore
finger of mis- right hand, evidently under
the impression that he had mustache and
desired to pull it.
81 want to see an editor" said the young
man in a voice that sounded like the best
efforts of cricket, about a social tOpic-l
want to see the social-topics editor"
what sort of a social topic is it that's
worrying you?" inquired the biOgrapher Of
st. Julien There are good many social
topics. Has somebody in your social circle
been holding three aces with criminal fire.
quency, OF has the green-eyed monster
invaded your once happy flat because your
wife goes to that matinee"
''Oh, it's nothing like that" said the
young man. II promised papa that
would never play poker and Tm not mar
ried-that is, not yet"
well, the gentle sex is having one
lucky, anyhow" said the horse reporter,
surveying the visitor carefully. "If you'll
quit grabbing for that suppOsititious mus
tache and tell me what ails you, perhaps /
10 fha Whale tho social
topic you are distressed abOut?"
"Well, you see," said the young man,
when got into the laces"-
Into the what?"
Into the laces-the lace department in
our store, you knOw-all the other fellows
there were real jealous of me because
had been out more in society than they
had belong to three clubs on the West
side, and we have hops, and assemblies,
and things every week; SO ! am really
quite in the swim you know. Well, they
were awfully jealous, you know-just as
l said-and they talked real mean. | told
Cholly about it-Cholly's my chum, you
knOw-and he said to never mind them,
but keep going right into society; and he
lent me his mauve pants for an awfully
swell reception one night last week. Chol-
ly and | are awful chums, and I'm going
to give him book mark on his birthday.
That will be nice, won't 2"
Yes" said the horse reporter, "a book
mark is a valuable aid to young man
who is hustling around to get living.
With strong arm, pure heart and nice
BOOK ma. k, fortune is within the reach of
all. But what's the question that's worry
ing you?"
"Oh, yes the social topic. Well, the
other day lot OF us were talking about
young ladies, and | said that very few
young men knew what real etiquette was,
and l gave an awfully severe look at one
fellow who has been terribly jealous Of
me ever since a young lady who came into
the store the other day smiled right over
in the direction where l was standing, and
never even looked at him. And then some
one said it was proper to call on young
lady and ask her to accompany you to the
theatre that evening. | said that would
be wrong-that the correct way was to
write the young lady a note asking the
pleasure of her company We had a terri
BILE discussion about it, and finally agreed
to leave it to the social topics editor of the
Tribune Now, suppose you were young
lauy, anu y were 10 Cali dI youi papa
house and ask you to 90 to the theatre
with me that evening, what would you
do?"
Suppose l were a young lady?" said
the horse reporter.
Yes"
"And you were to call and ask me to 60
to the theatre with you 2"
Yes"
what would do 2"
"Yes."
well, if somebody had mislaid the gun
suppose / should have to content myself
with club"