davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

One of the good stories told of
Abraham Lincoln is that once upon q
time distinguished citizen insisted up
pn telling him long story, and the
only way the end of It appeared was
that the citizen stopped talking. Lin
coin looked at the narrator with a
dreary face, folded one leg carefully
over the other, caught his chin in his
left hand, and said in a hollow voice,
his eyes taking an expressian Of unut-
terable trouble: my friend, that story
doesn' remind me- of anything l ever
heard in my life. "-CIncin1aG& Com
merctGl Gazette.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
Twenty-Five Per Cent. Stronger than any
Other Butter Color.
BURLINGTON, VI, May Sc

BURLINGTON, VI, May Sd, 1882.
I hereby certify that l have examined
the Butter Color prepared by Wells, Rich
ardson & Co., and that the same is free
from alkali or any other substance injuri-
Gus to health; that have compared it with
some of the best of the other Butter Colors
in the market and find it to be more than
twenty-five per cent. stronger in color than
the best of the others.
am satisfied that it is notliableto become
rancid, or in any way to injure the butter.
have examined it after two months free
exposure to the air in place liable to
large changes of temperature, and found
no trace of rancidity, while other kinds
similarly exposed became rancid.
A. II. SABIN,
Prof. Chemistry, University of Vermont.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
PAPILLON
"a CINCINNATI DRUGGIST REPORTS"

Mr.. Fcrd. zuenkeler, Druggist No. 6s6 Vine Street.
CINCINNATI o. writes under date April 18th, 1884 have
obtained four additional verbal testimonials for Inc
Big Four Peerless Pa2lon Remedies, from my Gus
TONERS, Mr. Louis Crater says, "Pa2lon Blood Cure
works like a charm" Geo. C. Hasenfels, of Bethle-
hem suburb, says: ''Paplon Blood Cure is a great
relief to him. and is glad that he has at last found some
thing that win do him good Miss G. E. Relsharks
No 312 McAcken Avenue, praises Papillon SKIN cure
vcrv highly She has used three bottles Mr.. Adam
Kefer cor Srd and Martin Sts has used two bottles
OF PapiIlon Catarrh Cure and says he is positive It
viii cure him If he keeps itup which he says, Il VIII
do" Mr.. Reule, of whom wrote in my last letter,
said to me this evening that your "Papillon Catarrn
Cure is good remedy. because he has given 1t fair
trial and has obtained most excellent results there
FROM
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

hut such does not seem to be the case.
The booms at Lowell are filed with
logs, and the extensive mills will be
actively employed this season in con-
vertinS the timber into commercial
shapes of lumber, while the furniture
manufactures have already experienced
q business boom that will not be materi-
Ally decreased until late in the year.
the contracts for wares being unusually
LARGE. -Lunpbernsa11' Gazette.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

"MR. BROOKS, near Albany, was hope
lessly afflicted with Cancer. 1t had eaten
through his nose into his mouth and throat.
The time of his death was only question
of a very short time. He prayed for death,
his suffering was so great. s. S. S. has
had a wonderful effect on him. His inn
provement is so great that we all feel sure
Of his being perfectly cured in time"
VI, H, GILBERT, Albany, Ga.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
NOTHING LIKE 1T FOR RHEUMATISM. !"

Mrs Rllla Stevens No. 1882 South Dearborn Street
saws that she used PapTlon Skin Cure for Inlamma-
tory rheumatism, with the happest results. 1t re-
duced the fammation and swelling, and relieved the
intense pain In less than hours she cordially rec
ommcnds it to all rheumatic sufferers Itisapplied by
rubbing the joints and affected parts with the remedy
for some moments the pain ceased almost instantly.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
e5 JACKSON ST., BROOKLYN, N. Y.
necomher II. 1883.

Being familiar 18th the stimulating G, heal
ing and anodyne properties of ALLcocK's
Porous PLAsTERs, commend them as a
most valuable agent in the class of diseases
for which they are intended. The stimu-
lating action when worn over the gastric
region, materially aids in restoring
strength and energy to digestion and the
consequent building up of tissue and re-
storing tone to the general system.
HI, ARMGARDT, Nj. D.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
MEDICAL TESTIMONY.

BURLINGTON, VT, December II, 1881
desire to call attention to the great re-
lief to be derived from ALLcoCX's Porous
PLAsTERs, in chronic bowel troubles, en-
fragments of the liver, and the painful
condition of the spleen in malaria. No To-
cal agent can exceed their efficacy in abb
sorbent and anodyne properties.
WM. B. BETTER, NJ. D.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
MoNTc1ArR, N. j., December Is,

IMUNIOIAAIAN4 DCSOIlIUCA
It affords me great pleasure. to recon-
mend ALLCoCK's Porous PLAsTERs and
BRANDRETH's VEGETABLE PILLS as agents
possessing great healing efficacy. The
worldwide fame of these remedies is such
as to render it almost superfuous to add a
word of commentator from the medical
faculty to increase their reputation.
WIN. P. STRICKLAND, M. D., LII. D.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
3A1 EAST TwENTY-sEcoND ST.

NEW DIX CIT81 DeCtHUeF TO, Ioo0s
have found ALLCoCK's Porous PLAs-
TIERS very useful in those special diseases
of women where ansemia is the cause of so
much local pain and disturbance. Their
combination is an excellent one, the best
yet made to my knowledge, and have ale
ways been found reliable.
A. w. LESSER, A. NJ, NJ. D.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

AN exchange says: "You can not move
the world" Yes you can. Commence
with Wheeling West Observation-Disclosures
Sentinel
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

PAP1LLoN Blood Cure cures oil diseases
originating in any impairment of the blood,
as Fits of Epilepsy, Anemia, Sick Head
ache, and Female Weaknesses.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

A SPECIAL from Waltham, Mass, says
that 1900 Watches are now made daily at
Waltham, and they are better in quality
and lower in price than ever before.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

AN exchange speaks Of fatal muir;
der,D The fiend who would commit fatal
murder would do worse. He would kill
man dead.-GoIden Days.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

THAT wonderful catholicon known as
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
has given the lady worldwide reputa-
ton for doing good. 1t is living spring
of health and strength
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

A WESTERN woman was driving the hens
from the garden the other day when cy-
clone carried off her shoo!-BostoR Com
Uerctdl Bulletin.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

THE man who is most given to counting
chickens before they are Matched is the
agent for a patent incubator. - LoeoeII
Courier.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

WHooPING Cough, that dreadful Attic
ton, will be relieved at once with Papillcn
Cough Cure.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

A YOUNG lady who attempts to capture
more than seven beaus always tries to
fascinaSa. There, now Life.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

PIso's CURE for Consumption does not
dry up a cough; it removes the cause.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

ANY man can make money-go.- White
hall Times.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

A LETTER from Berlin says: ''The EN-
peror has grown ten years older during the
last decade"
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

ga FELLOW feeling" in your pocket for
drous kind" toward the feeler.-Ihe Judge.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

"Rough on Corns." 15c. Ask for it. Com
nlete cure, hard or soft corns, warts, bunions.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

THE man who was ashamed to look his
watch in the face probably got it on tick
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

Glenn's Sulphur Soap
Is simply without parallel for wholesome
ness, and in its purifying effects.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

THE gate that turns with the tide-The
ielegate.-N 7. Journal.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

Cy11IrY is dear to everybody, and yet
It costs nobody anything.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

Skinny Men. "Wells' Health Henewer" re-
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia,$1'
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

EVERY one has right to drop line to
fish.-PicGyune.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

Trough on Coughs, 15c., at Druggists. Com.
plete cure Coughs, H1arseness. Sore Throat.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

IT is a cold day when the chunk OF ice
doesn't get left.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

"Mother Swans Worm Syrup" for few
erishness. worms, Observation-Disclosures. 20c
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

There has been received in collec-
tions and donations from all parts OF
the world over 100000 francs for the
relief of the sufferers by the terrible
earthquakes on the island Of Ischia,
near Naples. This, it is believed, is
sufficient to fully repair all the material
damage done. Chicago Times.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

"Buchu-paiba." Quick, complete cure, all
annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseases. 81.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

THE court room-The front parlor. = Tx
Dial.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12

TO prevent the spread of infectious
diseases in Venezuela, decree has been
issued by the Government ordering the
cremation Of the bodies sof EelloW-teTer
victims.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
Advertising Cheats III

SIT has become so common to begin an
article, in an elegant, interesting style.
"Then run it into some advertisement
that we avoid all such,
&c And simply call attention to the merits
of Hop Bitters in as plain, honest terms as
possible,
ITO induce people
"To give them one trial, which so proves
their value that they will never use any
thing else"
THE REMEDY so favorably noticed in all the
papers,
Having large sale, and is supplandng aH
There is no denying the virtues Of the Hop
plant, and the proprietors of Hop b1tters nave
shown great shrewdness and ability
In compromising medicine whose VlrtueA~
are so palpable to every ones observation
Did She Die?
"No!
"She fingered and suffered along, pining
away all the time for years,
''The doctors doing her no good;"
''And at last was cured by this Hop
Bitters the papers say so much about"
Indeed Indeedr'
Chow thankful we should be for that
medicine
A Daughters Misery.
"Eleven years our daughter suffered on
a bed of misery,
From complication of kidney, liver
rheumatic trouble and Nervous debility,
"Under the care of the best physicians,
"Who gave her disease various names,
But no relief,
sand now she is restored to us in good
health by as simple remedy as Hop Bit
tiers, that she had Stunned for years before
using it. ''-THE PARENTS.
Father is Getting Well.
"My daughters say:
"How much better father is since he
used Hop Bitters."
"He is getting well after his long suffer-
ing from a disease declared fncurableo
1sAnd we are so glad that he used your
Bitters. "a LADY Of Utica, n. 7.
~ None genuine without bunch OF green 7I
sUnous stuff with Hop" or Hops" in their
| name.
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
YALE LAW SCHOOL. g sf fsssssssss.

Fan term commences September 18th. For circular
e5drass p SG1F. FRANCIS WAYLAND,
"0si Yale College, New Havan Conn.,
St. Landry democrat., 1884-07-12
eRs6bsy eegREP OPIUM HABIT
DR., J. c. HOFFMAN. JEFFERs N, WISCONSIN

nam wholesale and retail. Send for price. lisC.
AHEk Goods sent c. o. D. Wigs made to order
EkHBEB E. BURNHAM. Al State Street, Chicago
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01

Ninety nine persons out of one hun
dred had something to say about zero
curing this winter; perhaps not one
in one hundred could have told you off
hand why point thirty two degrees
below the freezing point on Fahren-
heit's thermometer is called zero. For
that matter, nobody knows. The Fab
renheit scale was introduced in 17s0.
Like other theomemeteric scales, it has
two fixed points-the freezing point,
or rather the melting point of ice. and
the boiling point of water. The Gen.
tigrade and Reaumur scales call the
freezing point zero and measure there
after in both directions. This is very
natural arrangement. Fahrenh ell
kept the principal on which he grad
uated his thermometers, secret and
no one has ever discovered it. 1t is
supposed, however, that he considered
his zero-thirty two degrees below the
freezing point-the point Of absolute
cold or absence Of all heat, either be-
cause, b ing about the temperature of
melting salt and snow, it was the ut
utmost degree of cold that he could
produce artifcially or because it was
the lowest natural temperature that he
could find any record of. The grounds
on which Fahrenheit put one hundred
and eighty degrees between the freez-
ing and boiling points are likewise un.
known.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
Couldn't Play on It.

An old man from the uniisturbed
quiet Of rural hill tops, and his daugh
ter. who was no doubt the belle Of the
neigh borhood. Game to the city the
other DAY to do season shopping for
III, mselves and any of the neis hbors
that sent along While they were in
store, the girl said:
Pap, want you to buy Inc an al
bum
The old fellow gave her a s'rcastic
look, and replied
What the deuce do YOU want with
a album? You couldn't play on it
.ef | wuster get it for you
When the salesman explained. the
old fellow added: Oh, didn't under
stand. thought it was one Of these
here things that you take in both hands
and shove up together and stretch out.
To put pictures in, Ell? Wall, she
amt got tut three pictures and they're
made on tin. Reckin she can keep
em IN box while longer
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
He Was No q Colonel.

DO with me what you please. Pm
an ex Confederate soldier and a stran-
ger in "a strange land'
well, colonel said his Honor, 'the
charge against you is not very grave
one. Sleeping in the street, believe,
is the extent Of its lawlessness
'Fm not colonel, SIR
What! shouted the justice, SPRING
ing to his feet, 'it cannot be that I
heard Alright. You certainly don't
mean to say that you're not col
onel"
Il do replied the accused, decided.
ly' 4 was only a private in the army,
and guess that am not much more
than a tramp now
My FRIEND replied his Honor, in a
choking voice, go forth. Yoa are
free man. You are the first Southern
er | have ever met who was not COL
onel, and the only private, l honestly
believe, that was in the Con 'ederate
army. | am glad to have seen what
constituted the rank and file of what
was a glorious piece of fighting ma.
chinery.'
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
Why His Attentions Ceased.

An excellent story is told about a
young man whose attentions to young
lady became the subject of comment.
She was his companion in his daily
rides, and apparently they both enjoy
ed the propiuquity. Suddenly the
rides ceased, and the young fel-
low was asked the reason. He replied
that she called bin jackass, and that
he would not ask any girl to ride with
him after that. The lady's friends
were shocked and asked for particu-
lars. This was his explanation: You
see, we had been so much together
that | gave out in topics of converse
ton, and when | took her out last |
couldn't think of anything but the
weather and said, Il believe it is going
10 rain, felt drop on my ear She
looked at me carelessly and said, that
rain is half mile off, Now did not
that mean | was a jackass with long
ears? | have never been near her
since
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
Is Hanging Painful?

The following facts, as related to
me by late distinguished officer, who
died high in rank in her majesty's SER
vice, may be of some public interest.
Many years ago when II fag at pub
lie school, he was ordered by his mas
ter to g"t his silk stockings ready for
an evening party, but unfortunately
only one could be found. Vain were
the excuses offered by the poor little
fag; has master in rage threw the
silk stocking round his neck and held
himxsuspended in the air a sufficient
time to produce unconsciousness, and
to make it doubtful matter if vitali-
ty could again be restored. He there
fore experienced all the sensations of
being hanged; but he suffered no pain,
and used to say he had no recollection
Of anything happening to him from
the moment the stocking was thrown
round his neck until he felt life re.
turning.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
Old riends With a Vengeance.

1t was so long since | had met Gen
Hancock that | was prepared to re-
ceive new impressions of him during
the course of pleasant chat the 9th.
er d,v. did not, however. He is
now, rs he has always been to ME, a
constant surprise: he talks so very
much better than expected him to-
He looks like man meant tor very
big work, and certainly he has lived
up to his looks, but such men seldom
ak so we'll. However, am not going
TO discuss his powers rs a converse
tionalist. | WAS only wondering i
many people would have suspected, a;
| did, thai the General was indulging
in some mild irony when he said t
me: Il have not been here for over s
score of years, and am consequently
surprised at the number Of friend;
who remember me- What made me
skeptical of his sincerity was sudden
recollection Of a conversation | hat
with Modjeska during her first appear
ance here in California. Il am made
so pleased said the madame, who had
not then mastered our idiom, 'by the
many old friends | baf here
old friends here: ? | asked.
Yes only this day card is sent to
my apartments; the name is a Polish
one; say the gentleman may present
himself. Well, he did. and he says
to me, Madame, | am delighted tC
salute you, for | claim the honor OF al
old acquaintance with me y [ say
but one is so stupid, for | cannot re
call where | haf meet you. NO, ma
dame he says not so great an homo
as that; but my father, forty years ago
he make the brick of which your ia
ther build his house in Warsaw.
/ After "a pause Modjeska added t
me, with her charming naivete: 4
is pleasant, is it not? But forty year
is so long for one to remember VIII
is not vet FORTY
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
z::elerf Reabing.
Things That do not Look Right.

Oar am seb'ral things dat doan'
look 'zactly right to me- said Brother
Gardner, as he rubbed his bald head
with one hand, opened the meeting
with the other.
1T doan' look 'z,ctly right to see
one man with ten millyon dollars, an
anoder wuth only ten cents, applause
by Samuel Shinn, but yit if | wuz &c
ten millyon dollar man, | wouldn't
keer ~heder it looked right or not
I Sudden end to the applause.
1T doan' look 'zlctly right for one
man to own great foundry, while
anoder man am obleeged to work fur
him fur two dollars day, Hear,
hear from Judge Cadaver, but if |
was de two dollar day man | wouldn't
frow myself out of job just to spite
de owner. or please a demagogue -
/ The Judge subsidies.
1t doan' look 'zactly right to see
one man hold offs all de time, while
anoder man has to shove jack plane
fur i libin' great rustl, in Pickles
Smiths corner, but he who shoves de
jack plane has de respect OBJ de com
munitv. an keeps outer Jail. Rustic
dies away.
1T doan' look 'zactlv right to see
fo'ty lawyers rush to defend u crimmi-
nal who has stolen money in his pock-
cts, while de offender who am money
less, am left to dig his way frew ten
foot wall. wid an ole knife. blade,
grins on a dozen faces but ef was a
LAWYER should airn my money any
odder way except by sawin' wood. De
public doan' look fur any perticuler
kisplay OF conscience on de part Of
lawyers, an darfore suffer no great dis
appointments. Grins no longer OBJ
servablc.
1t doan' look 'zactly right fur one
man to have big brick house. au'
anoder man rough bod shanty, but
long bout tax-tine de man in de
shanry kin sit on de fence and chuckle
over de TACK dat he haint rich.
III doan' look zactly righ, to 5 e
one man go pushin', an swoIlin', an
crowdln' everybody else off lie side
walk to let de public know dat he am
king bee, but such men have to car,
~ de anxiety of bein' IN debt to De
tailor, an of dodgin de grocer. an of
subscri' in twenty five dollars toward
building church without hope of
bein able to pay ten cents on de dol
lar.
In fack, ny ,nis. dar am heaps
an heaps o things dat doan' iooh
'zactly right to us ut fust glance, bur
when We come to tigger it up an divide
an subtract, we've all got heap to
he thankful for, an to encourage US
to git up airlv in de mawnin'. \ mau
kin brace his legs an lay back like a
mule. an kick away at De hull world,
an hate eberybody an be hated in re.
turn, or he kin pick up sartin crumbs
. consolation, and crowd inter seat
in de back eand Of de wagin, an take a
heap o comfort, KNOWN dat somebo
DIV Is wuss off dan himself. Let us
accumulate to blzlness
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
The Ages Of Oysters,

The natural term of the oysters life
is not known, but there is reason to
believe that it may extend to twenty
vears or more. An excellent authority
Professor M"bius, is of opinion that
tie most of the adult oysters are from
seven to t. years old, and that, though
oysters over twenty years are rare, he
has met with occasional specimens that
had attained between twenty five and
thirty years.
Oysters breed long before they are
full grown, very probably in the first
year Of their age, certainly the second.
Their Productivity appears to reach
its maximum at five >r six yaars, and
afterwards to decline; but much fur
ther observation is needed before any
definite rules can be laid down on this
subject.
suppose that when the sapid and
slippery morsel glides along the palate
few people imagine that they are swal :
lowing piece of machinery (and 60
ing machinery, too) greatly more COM
plicated than Il watch. But so it is
the oyster possesses representatives of
all the most important organs Of the
higher animals, and is endowed with
corresponding functions. The loves
of the oyster may be mythical, and We
may even be skeptical as to its paren-
tai tenderness; but no parent can take
greater care of its young. And though
the oyster seems the type of dull ami
NAL vegetation in its adult condition,
it passes through vagahond, if not d
stormy youth, between the time during
which it is sheltered by the parental
roof and that in which it ranges itself
as a grave and sedentary member O
the oyster community.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1884-02-01
Sitting Down on Him

4 don't altogether like this young
man Millikin who comes to see you sc
often. | hear he is nothing but poor
dry goods clerk, is what the mead o
the family SAID to his daughter one day
at the dinner table.
'He is very nice young gentleman,
replied the daughter, besides he Is
something more than poor dry good:
clerk He gets large salary and ex.
poets some day to have an interest in
the business
4 hope he may, responded the old
man, but he strikes me as very flip
pant, impertinent young person, and
in my opinion he should be sat down
upon.
We'll, I have invited him to take
tea with us this evening" said the
daughter, and | hope you will find
him very different person from VIVA,
You supposed him to be-
'Oh. I'll treat him politely enough,
he said.
That evening Mr.. Millikin appear.
ed at supper, and made most favora
impression upon the old gentleman
He is clever young fellow, after all.
he thought. 4 have done him inJus-
tice
1t was just here that Bobby spoke
out. Bobby was well-meaning little
boy. but too talkative
Papa he ventur,d. 'you know what
YOU said today at dinner about Mr.
Millikln: that he was an impertinent
young man and ought to be eat down
upon
Silence, SIR shouted the father,
swallowing mouthful of hot potato
Bat the little boy wouldn't silence
Its all right he continued, conf
dentialiy, but in a whisper loud enough
to be heard ont of doors she has been
sat down upon, Sister sat down on
him last night for two hours
After this the dinner went on more
quietly. owing to Bobbys sudden and
very jerky departure.