The Wilmingtonian., 1884-11-08
HUMOROUS.

"Will you kindly tell me what is going on
in that church? asked tramp of a gentle
mau who had just descended the steps.
"They are holding church fair" II am
very sorry" Why are you sorry, my
friend?" "Wel, was going to ask You to
help me, but If you've been in there it amt
no use. -
'Look heah!' said old Sllas, meeting the
Governor Of Arkansas, "da tell me that de
cholera hab got err special spite at de Mig
ners."
ayes it carries them off," the Governor
replied.
''Uh, uh. It's er soeter Democrat cease,
amt it? DE yaller feber's sorter in faber
o de 'Publicans. 1t am strange what cam
paign 'fuences de white folks fetches ter
bar on de sityation."
AMPLE PROVISION FOR THE BRETHREN.
Breddern yo' parsture takes notice ob de
fac dat some oh de gemmen cats fon'
o'telbacker hain't particker bout how day
circ'lates de juice oh de same. De kermit
tee on irrigation am darefo' 'blige' ter glib
notice dat the new ash boxes am ter be fo'
feet squar,' an 'ceptin fer squinch eyed
members or de flock dar won't be no furder
skuse fer dem as kant hit tie mark. Sch
as hair't 'tickler bout paternizin' de new
rezevores mus hab DER pews furnished wild
mops an be p'inted for duty on de fumiga-
tin kermittee arter de congregation scat
| ters- YOHEeTS Gdzeffe
A gentleman who owns fine tract of
cedar land not far from Austin, Texas. few
days ago was told that some negroes were
cutting down the TIMBER so he rode out to
a wealthy white neighbOr, with a team and
wagon, hauling off the timber. "Why, |
am astouished, Colonel" said the owner OF
the land; 81 heard that lot of negroes We're
stealing my timber, and here find you, a
white man, cutting my timber You ought
to he ashamed of yourself. "Wel to tell the
truth, responded the other party, Il do
hate to steal timber like darkey but these
cedar trees make such bully fence rails
that | concluded to drop all pride of
race"
THE STATE OF SOCIETY IN ARKANSAS.
A traveller on horseback, attracted by a
large number of children huddled around
the door of an Arkansas cabin, stopped and
asked of a woman who suddenly appeared
''ls this school house?'
'Did you take it for sich?"
Yes, considering the number OF chill.
dpn.'
"Wcll, reckon you've a right to yom
opinion.
But is it a school2"
mo it amt"
Are all those children yours?"
81 reckin they air. Pears to me that way,
any how?"
"How do you make living for them?'
81 don't. turn EN- out an let EN-
scratch"
where's your husband?''
I'm town"
In business therc?"
"Yes, reckin?"
''How long has it been since you saw
him?"
"Abou; year."
''Why doesn't he come and see you?"
"Well, you see, them deputy martin
came along one day an seen him billing
some corn in kettle an lowed he wa
making whiskoy, so they took him along
Look out there"
The stranger lodged, but not quite sooi
enough. A boy fell from tree under whicl
the stranger had stopped and struck hin
on the shoulder.
81 didn't know be was there" said tn
traveller, regarding with astonishment tn
youngster who arose to his feet and begal
to throw dust at the horse.
81 don't reckin you did, the woman re
piled, but emme tell you the woods is ru
, Of EN-, an, they'er liable to drop On you a
t any mint, an as it amt safe in the timber
: you'd had better take the big road an mos
sy. Good day. You Ike, put that lzzal
, down. Eph, that ar tarrapn II bite il yor
/ put your finger in his mouth. Drop tina
I scorpion John, and blow Tommy's nose
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