Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-05-22
WIT AND HUMOR.

one strong?
Many more Cinnamon are leaving the
country for China than are coming here.
This is a sign of hard times.
A Burlington mother has miraculous
" cured her youngest hopeful of smok-
ING by the laying on OF hands
Austin, New, has passed curfew
law, prohibiting boys under sixteen ap-
pearing On the streets after O'Clock.
"Whcn in society never talk of your
self, is the injunction of an authority
on etiquette. People in society never
do-they run down other people.
Georgia furniture manufacturers pre-
diet bio movement of Western furni-
ture men and wood-workers into the
South.
An Indiana Jail bird recently scraped
off the back of mirror and swallowed
it. Ii was very cold day for him
when the mercury went down.
When q horse railroad car-driver lost
his situation the other day, his little
brother said: There is no one to car
fare mother now.
Cincinnati clamors for society for
the suppression of music. lnsaiiate
mort.ls! does not one suffice Have
they not the college still?
We may expect to hear our Fourth OF
July orators Shout. next summer: Let
the hog squealr' instead of LET the
eagle scream NOrriStoUR Herald.
Said the man who had travelled, -
didn't mind having the delirium tire
mems. ! saw snakes and alligators
and things, but it merely seemed a5
though was in Florida.
After wrestling with the subject for
long while, New York writer con-
Guides that there is only one thing that
can effectually remove the odor of fried
onions-time.
Young farmer: ''Are you fond of
beasts, Miss Gusherton? Miss Gush-
erton: ION, really, Mr. Pawker, if
you mean that rs declaration, you
must speak TO mamma.
The Indianapolis Journal says that
the average citizen wants n lock with
four key-holes. Unless the average
citlzen has improved of late one key
hole is usually about all he can find
Nel0 York Graphic.
Nv lere is the girl of long ago."
sings Joaquin Miller. We saw her the
other day, Joaq. But she isn't girl
any more. She had gray hair and
wart on her nose, and no teeth and
wore specs. Salem Sunbeam.
Count Harnancorn, of Vienna now
a social lion in New York: ''Ach, it's
too padl / can neefcr marry but one
American girl, und loafs all of dem"
! Like Artemus Wards monkey, ne is
described as an ''amoosin little cuss.
Thompson is not going to do any
thing more in conundrums. He re-
Gently asked his wife the difference
| between his head and a hogshead. and
she said there was none. He says that
is not the right answer.
A visionary fnancier who had
thousand ways to make fortune, and
not single one to make n living, is
described by friend rs "a man SO
sanguinc that the mere getting hold OF
a shoe-string makes him think that he
! is already the owner OF a tannery.
.'Wnat will you think If your beauti-
full wife twenty or thirty years from
lnow?-tpat is the question. y according
TO Monsgnor Capel. That is not -
hard question, Monsignor Capel. Most
likely we will think she is much
better cook than she was at first
A mpn always finds out when there
| is a hole IN the bottom of his stocking.
He makes the discovery when he takes
MIS- boots off ut night and puts his foot
down on he hot register to warm. He
rarely torge,s TO speak right out about
it.
The lectures of Joseph Cook suggest
a story 10 the San Francisco bulletin;
"Sandy, what is the state OF religion in
your town." bad, sir, very bad.
There are no Christians except Davis
and myself, and have many doubts
about Davis"
A rowing newspaper man has made
the discovery that all tae W men in the
Isle OF Jersey are pretty, many OF them
prettier than Mrs. Langtry, and he will
build summer resort hotel with II
frontage OF 1000 feet, and piazza
with double deck
Customer-"Are all SMYRNA rugs
, Alike?" Storekeeper mo, indeed;
there is n great q very great, d ference
/ in Smyrna rugs. Cus,omer-"N nat
IS the principal point Of d,iferenceP"
Storekeeper- Wei, some SMYRNA rugs
@re smyrna rugs, but most smyrna
rugs are not Smyrna ugs.-Pbilade.Phia
CaL
How is this? In Boston they pro-
nounce it 'NcU-fnlnd, accent on the
Moot; in Michigan it is called New
touRd-lani, " with great stress on the
"iound, and the natives OF the island
say 'Naw-fun-iaHd" coming out strong
on the land. We don't know how
the dog calls it himself. burlington
HaWEeye.
I Mamma Ga widow Of considerable
. personal attractions) al want to tell
you something, Tommy. You saw that
gentleman talking to grandmamma IN
the other room. Wei, mes going to
! be your new papa. Mammals going
to marry MIN. Tommy (whO recol-
lects something OF the life bis old papa
used to lead) -''D-d-does he know y