Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-09-03
BRIGHT BITS.

THE American people are said d., to spend
$50. zoe, 600 a year for photographs. ms sounds
like positive assertion, but II has It's negative
side.-HOFristOaoH Herald.
THERE Is nothing impossible to the deter
mined spirit, Says philosopher Evidently
that philosopher never tried to reach up be-
hind his shoulder to get hold Of the end Of
broken suspender.-Somerciile Journal.
THE White Mountain hotels have school
marms for walters. 1t is related that their
department is perfect, while their service Is
with half dollar, which she politely re-
turned. Wanted dollar, perhaps.
GDOlis Journal.
CONDUCTOR (contemptuously) = "Wot's
thiss" Passenger-"My ticket book Con-
ductor-'' 'Tain't good on this road" Rassen-
ger docking at the book, discovers that he
has handed out his Testament by mlstakel-
ssNo, l should say you had no use for 1t here. F"
Boston Transcript.
DIR. ALLEN MCLEAN HAMILTON, who APP
peared as an authority on nervous diseases in
the Rhinelander case in New Y ork on Wednes-
day, laid it down as proposition that red
nose is one sign Of insanity. In this region
the red nose has always been presumptlve eyl :
dence of oYerwork at the bar.-RiehmoRd
(Ta.) Slate.
IT is cruel to keep that dog closely muzzled
this warm weather" said a New York gentle
man to a boy leading a small dog: "the owner
Of that dog must be cruel man" "Oh, no,
world. He keeps the dog muzzled to prevent
him from biting.o From biting children, l
suppose" "Oh, no; from biting the 1eas
that almost worry the life out of the poor
animal"
MRS. A.-"Oh, my husband is so exasper-
ating" Mrs. Bin what way?" He
might help me in so many little ways about
the house, but he hardly ever does" Il
thought he was a remarkably good natured
man" "Oh, he is gOOd-natured enough, but
he is never around when wanted" "WeH,
you can't complain of that. You knew when
YOU married him that he was policeman
Philadelphia Gail.
DIsTRUsT that man who tells you to distrust.
He takes the measure of his own small soul
And thinks the world no larger. lie Whs
pirates
of human natures baseness and deceit
Looks in the mirror Of his heart and sees
His kind therein reflected. Or perchance
His honeyed wine of life was turned to gall
By Sorrows hand, which brimmed his cup
with tears
And made all things seem bitter to his taste.
Give him compassion! but be not afraid
OF nectared love, or Friendships strengthen
ing draught,
Nor think poison underlies their sweets.
| Look through true eyes you will discover
truth.
| Suspect suspicion, and doubt only Doubt.
Ella Wheeler in Chicago Current.
A gentleman rode up to a small boy sitting
on the fence in front of his home, and inquired
spouse. "Well, my boy, l want to know what
| time it is; can you tell me?" Yes, | kin:
| was in the house jis five minutes ago and the
old clock wuZ a pintin' at 'leven." What
kind of time do you have?' "Oh, we have all
| kinds" 'But mean do you have solar time OF
standard timer" THAT'S what said. We have
| all kinds" 81 don't understand you" Don't
| yer? Well, come to our house and live awhile
| an yer'll learn. My sister Sal she has stand
| ard time, that's the clock; | has city time,
| that's the town clock; the hired girl has sun
time that's watchin' the shadders, an pap
an MAIN has a HI of time; that's what
| they'ee doin' in there now, an Pm settln' on
| the fence till they git her reggerlated. by
| gosh, you hadn't better wait roun' here If you
| don't want to hear suthin strike, an strike
mighty durn hard" The man rode away rap
idly and the boy kicked another plank of the
| fence.-JOe MdLhdttOn.