The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1884-02-28
JOB PRENTIN,G
humorous.

| Agreeable advice is seldom use.
| full advice.
The weak may be joked out Of
anything but their weakness.
All the whetting in the world
can never set razor's edge on that
| which hath no steel in it.
The chains of habit are generally
to small to be felt till they are too
strong to be broken.
/ Freckles have become very fash
ionable. The Princess Louise and
all the nice girls have them.
The true test Of civilization is
not the census, nor the size Of cities,
nor the crops-no, but the kind of
men the country turns out.
'Tis rule that goes great way
in the government of a sober mans
life, not to put anything to hazard
that may be secured by industry,
consideration or circumspection.
Make every one welcome to your
church, to your pew, toyour prayer
meeting. People like to go where
| they can see by mems actions that
they are cordially welcome.
He who does not respect conf
dence will meyer find happiness in
his path. The belief in virtue van.
ishes from his heart, the source of
nobler actions becomes extinct in
him.
A good authority on fashions an
nounces that the hustle hereafter to
be worn will be- small feather pill
low. This will be great improve
ment on the newspaper in slippery
weather.
aWhat are you going to do when
you are a MANI" asked a gentle
mau of a four year old toddler.
After 3 moment of deep thought:
swell, / guess l will be the father
of some other little boy
sYes,' said the mother, "Mary
married young man from the old
country because her farther would
not buy her a sealskin sacque. She
said she was bound to have a fur
on her this winter p Oh my!
It is when our budding hopes are
nipped beyond recovery by some
rough wind that we are the most
disposed TO picture to ourselves
what flowers they might have borne
if they bad fourished.
.:Your sister has a sweet mouth,
Mr.. Brown" remarked NJ. Smith.
sYes." added Feudeison, anxious
20 say something appropriate, sand
such a large mouth, too" Every
mouth was shut immediately, aud
Henderson wished he hadn't opened
i;s.
Johnnie, sd aay one have the
Group ia your house last night!
'sDunao! What made you ak me?"
sWell, I saw ligat in your house
long afser miduighs." On! that's
my sisse"! She has something down
in The parlor awful late every night,
but dou't know wheather it is the
Group or not"
A Jolly old uncle had been relat-
inc some incidents of his earlier life
to his nephew. ss0f all the women
you ever met, uncle" said the
young man, "Bv your aunt, my
boy, by your aunt" replied Che old
gentleman, dropping his voice and
feeling the back of his head tender
ly.
An Alabama wedding is thus
described: .The bridal march
was played by Will Corley on a
harmouica. The groom was attired
in hickory-stripe shirt and cop
pecs-coIored pants, and on his arm
was gently suspended his blide, like
clear rio side of bacon or bushel
of meal"
In Italy it is customary for three
| or four married women to drag a
bride to her would-be-busband.
She pretends to struggle desperately
70 get away. A wise journalist
points out that it would take all Che
| married women in the counSry to
hold back an American girl who
had cocIuded to enter the conjugal
state.
Go HoMF BOYS. - Bows, don't