The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-02-15
DEER LODGE MONTANA, FEBRUARY 49, 1884
WHOLE NO. 1852
WHY WE LAUGH.

1t isn't great ways TO the end of a cats
nose, but it's fur to the end.
The latest fashionable craze in England
is mule riding. "'Ears q w-Bismarck
Tribune. au#..a @
We are told nothing was made In vain
but how about the fashionable girl? Isn't
she maiden vain ?--Sdie,a Sunbeam.
| . A book publisher announces ssIn press-A
Pretty Girl" She Is often in that predica-
| ment-and the work is to be continued next
week. .Norristo,en Herald. ......
A Chicago firm Is introducing wooden
slippers into this country. The small boy Is
all In sweat for fear his mother will take il
into her head TO buy pair.
A host, indeed: sergeant, how many men
have you now? We'll have to be 1aovlng
soon." 80, I've got host J" "a host
how is that ?" "Why, I've conscripted a
landlord. Courier Journal.
"a farmers wife" wants to know If we can
recommend anything to destroy the "com.
mon grub" We guess that the next tramp
that comes along could oblige you, If the
family can't stand your cooking.
The Indianapolis Journal says that the av-
erage citizen wants a lock with four keyholes.
Unless the average citizen has improved
very much of late, one keyhole is usually
about all he can find.--N. y. Graphic.
"Where Is the girl of long ago ?" sings
| joaquin Miller. We saw her the other day,
Joaq. But she isn't girl any more. She
had gray hair and wart on her nose, and
no teeth aud wore specks.--SGlem Sunbeam.
"You don't seem to be dancing any this
| winter" remarked young LIE Dude TO his
friend Slim. "Oh, but you're mistaken, you
know. 60 to three balls every week."
Indeed And where ?" eat the pawnbro-
's."--The Judge.
Clara playfully tapped Augustus on the
| head as If knocking at the door. "Coms in,"
said Augustus, faeetiously. "Thanks, DEAR"
said Clara. 81 don't like to 60 into an empty
room, it's S. cherries and lonesome like,
you know."-Merchdnt Trareler.
"Was Early Man a Savage ?" asks maya
zine writer. That depends. If the early
man was dressing to catch the a. m. train,
and his collar button fell behind the bureau
the probabilities are that he was about as
savage as they make 'em.- NorTisto1n Her.
aid.
"Ah!" exclaimed Fogg as he entered the
store of man who never advertises. "Do
you know that always like to come In here?"
"Do you ?" asked the delighted shopkeeper
EYES," said Fogg; sits such a relief TO get
out of the crowd, you know."-Boston
Transcript.
Quite unsympathetic: Birdie McHennpin
and her brother were at the seashore: "Oh,
see that !" exclaimed Birdie. "See what ?"
inquired the stoical John. "Why, see that
little cloudlet just above the wavelet like q
tiny leatet dancing DER the scene!" go,
come! you had better 60 out to the pumplet
in the back yardlet and soak your little
eadlet."-Teras SJtings.
"Fall, sir ?" "Yes, sir; / fell, sir. It's
fashionable TO fall. l didn't fall on the ice,
sir. 1t was an orange skin, sir. was safe
ly within half square OF my house, sir,
when down | come, and on trap like that.
1t Is like going through a battle. sir, and
then being kicked by mule, sir. haven't
even the satisfaction of having been wounded
in an honorable engagement, sir.-Philadel-
phia Progress.
A writer in q juvenile magazine lately
gathered a number of dictionary words as
defined by certain small people, of which
the following seem TO be genuine "Dust--
Mud with the juice squeezed out. Fan--A
thing TO brush warm off with. Ice Water
that stayed out In the cold and went to Sleep
Monkey--A very small boy with tail. Pig
A hogs little boy. Salt--What makes
your potatoes taste bad when you don't put
any on. Snoring--Letting off sleep. Wake.
fulness--Eyes all the time coming unbut-
toned.