Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1884-01-10

He Finds the House Vacant, but the
hog 1t Home.
When Brother Shinbones Smith re-
turned, after making his New Years
calls, to his brown wood front on the |
western frontier Of Hoboken, 1t was nearly |
1.30 in the morning. He had started out |
early In the afternoon arrayed In ali the |
glory of his beat protraoted meeting |
clothes. A chrome yellow overooAt Of |
antique mold embodied his manly figure,
and q white dioer of lofty eminence Was
poised above his zimmerman brow. A
pair of oblong, brass-rimmed goggles be-
strobe his nose, and In his hand be
carried blue cotton umbrella. His
whiskers were neatly trimmed and oiled
with the aroma 10 unguent of the opossum,
imported at an enormous expense from
the interior of New Jersey When he re-
turned the overooat was sadly abbre.
Waited in the sfterward department, dis.
closing solemn and suggestive vacancy
in the resttul part of the trousers.
Brother Shinbones did not look 80 happy
as he had looked earlier In the day, and
hs met the iDquiring gaze Of his volumi-
nous spouse with something that An
ignorant person would have taken for
timidity.
.'Lawk a aasy!' exclaimed Mrs.
Smith "Shinbones, whar yo' been ter
Yo' LUX as eft yo' he'd been in de den o.
| lions"
"Wall, l hsin't," said Shin bones, de-
| positiug his umbrella and diosr in a
| corner.
"What's happened ter yer t''
''Jes yo' hol' on till catch my breff a
bit an I'll tell yer"
After few moments of painful silence
shinbones turned a sorrowful gaze upon
his spouse and thus addressed her:
81 he'd fus' rate time dis yer day till
l ondertuk ter make my las call on
Mistah and Miasis Hsrdenberry wat libs
up on Union Hill. Dey am pnt.y high
toned pussons, yer know, an dey heb
give me some Jobs a.whitewashin' up
dar. 1 was friuken det ort ter kinder
pay 'em my dispeots for all der kin ness,
so hauled myself up dat ar hill and
went fur der dooh yard. I'd been
a-makin' putty good many calls, yer
see, an it WAS putty late. Still, SEE l
ter myself, see l, faint none too late fur
ter be a.oallin' on Moo Years. So Irasled
de ole gate open an mosied right inter
der yard an slid up ter de from dooh.
Doggone me fur pickles Of dey did't heb q
| ck& OdbhhL . udukih t6i ud uOOu huuus
Wal, Sir, wen / seed dat dar egg basket,
ssz ter mysels, SEE l, dis yer amt no
kinder way to be treatin' q ole fren, an
I'm gwine fur ter git inter dis yer shanty
an catch onter suthin' or other ter drink.
SO oantered up ter de dooh and let fly
| wild dis yer fut. Den l listened bit,
| but didn't hear muffin noah dan my
! own brett. SO l jes hauled orr an let Eel
t hav't again. Den / kinder imagined
heerd sorter growl. | jes luked
aroun', an, sho' 'nuf, dar WAS Mr.
Hsrdenberry's bull tarrier gain at IN.
outsn his one eye. Now, yo' know me
ole woman, and yer know / dom lik,
] dawgs, specially dawgs wild one eye. Al
wen de dawg's bull tarrier den I'm ava,
orr, chile, umph-umph. Wal, | kinde
8 backed orr 8 piece an whistle ter d,
e dawg. Blame II he SEE q word back. Del
| reckoned dat he warn't much mad, ant
k ! mosied up ter de dooh agin. Soon's
r did dat he begin ter growl. So begil
i ter reckon dat I'd oes' git about. So
n starts fur der gate. Bless yer ole heart
" soon's did, dat ar dawg slid aroun' an
got in 'twixt me an der fence. Den
le ondertuk to reason wild i'm.
Pup sez ter de dawg, seq l, ID
l. yer may strike yo' as bein' propah COL
+ duo, but yo' am OFF yo' base. How IN
W gwine ter stan hyar all nigbtY "
bettah go roun' benin de house ar
| femme git out
10 "But de dawg he only kinder wan
as his one eye an SEE muffin. So went al
sot down onter de steps, an de- dawg
n, laid down in front o. me with his no
twixt his front paws an nevah TUX d
n, ar aye orr me. Every time l got up
dawg got up an showed his teef; an d,
!" | sot down agin, yer kin betcber life, q
he so did de dawg. Wal, after ia got d
pa bout two yeahs gan to git putty 81,
he OBJ de circus. ALI on a student | rec
or membsred dat had a bsei lone in II
a pocket that I'd bornered from Bredd
s's Pete Msguff wen | called dar. ] TUX d
rst out an SEE, here dawggie, good dawgg
las eat dat fur yo' Moo Year
lat The dawg he tackled onter
an l, kinder osreless-like, start
e fur de fence. Soon's l got benin
dswg | made break fur ter jump
ed fence an skip. Jes as | was risin' on
ri, jump dat blamed dawg grabbed holt
Nv, me benin an lit on my stummi
els onter de fence. | kicked an d da,
3d. hung on. Twas nip an tuck 'twixt
ew an dc dawg fur q pretty consid BILE tin
but pretty soon de ole coat an
to breeohes bruk. De dawg rolled oil
onter his back an went ober de fe,
ut ! onter my head. Ole woman, de wa
tor lit aout soon's cud pick myself up v
rri- wusser dan LIT soooted out o. Goth
an Tommorah de time o. de big fiji
Az When dis yer hon'ble membah g
the s-Noo Years calm agin' yo'll be a
for ter catch cst-feesh wild yo' hams. G,
ing night"