Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1884-12-17
PITH AKD PolNf.

PITH AND POINT. !,
A ropER's nose is like ! drowning
mans, becauee he can't Keep it above
water Merchant Traveller.
II, is very funny that whom you weigh
ash, the dealer always counts in the
scales. Carrie Pfetxcrs Weekly.
The name of . Philadelphia vocalist
is Thomas Beeket From this We in
fer that the msrtyrdom is on the other
side now.-Ne,c York Graphic.
SEVERAL young girls have been ap-
pointed station agents in Minnesota,
aud engineers are keeping q sharp
lookout for miss-placed switches.
II COULD but love when Isaw thy
face" writes Lila Cushman. We
thought you acted rather queerly, Lila.
That is why we ran.--PhitadctphiG
Call.
A DETROIT man is writing about
kisses in literature. There cannot.
however, be much kissing in literature
until more ladies shall be put upon the
editorial stan.
sSrna The upper Aotssf- sid ! frisad
IA OuEz - W
sa0cenpliSk knisaa 9 q = y T. M = L y =
"she sings 20 high that II woAlM ~
o woodpecker dizzy"
The first thing q man takes In this
life is milk. At last. no matter how
much OF q teetoteler he may be, he
takes to his bier. We soy IL gravely.--
Cdrel Prefsers Weekly.
SOME of Meissonier's models, it il
said, are compelled to retain the same
positions for six hours ut time. Al
most as long as q well-regulated family
can persuade servant girl to retain
her position in these days Of culinary
competition.
MABEL-"Do you try to observe the
golden rule, Mr.. Nicefellow?" Nice
fellow--"Yes. indeed. Do you?" Ma
bel--"Yes; / always try to do q I
would be done by" Nicefellow--'.That
is the right spirit" Mabel But /
sometimes fail If I were to try /
should fail now" Nicefellow-aIn-
deed. Why2" No cards.
SHE wHfsrLED.
Oh, whistle, daughter, whistle.
And you shall have COW;
Inever whistled in my life.
And Ican't whistle now.
oh, whistle, daughter, whistle.
And you shall have man:
1neyer whistlcd In my life,
But TIL whistle II I can.
--Exchdn0e.
A GENTLEMAN whom il would be gross
fattery to call homely remarks to .
child at house where he is visiting !:
SWELL, my fine boy, what do you think
about me, eh?" The child gags him
self with his fingers and remains silent
Some, now" says the visitor, kindly,
"why won't you tell mo what you think
about me :" Cause don't want to be
whipped
"No," SAID Mrs. Briny to an inquir-
ing stranger, I'VE don't have malaria
here, / admit, but it's the best boarding
house ON the bay shore. and my daugh-
ter Sally makes lemon pies that can't
be beat round these parts" When the
visitor had gone Mrs. Briny said 10 her
daughter: "Well, Jane. I guess we'll
have to lay in stock Of that mslary.
for all of 'em as comes here keep askin'
if we've got it."
SoME of the butter sold In Austin is
not very good. "Do you want some
butter on your bread 2" asked Johnny's
stepmother in cooling tone OF voice,
there being company at the table.
"Just suit yourself" replied tho self
sacrificing little fellow; shut, if you
spread it as thin rs you usually do, I
won't get none OF the bad taste in my
stomach, nohow. like it best thin II
it is like the butter We have when there
is no company here. g. Teras Sifiings.
LITTLE 5-year old Annie, who was
suffering from bad cold, went TO pay
visit TO auntie. During the day she
related her various successes at school,
and ended by declaring that she could
read good deal better than 6abina,
who was 8 years old. "Well," ques.
toned auntie, would it not sound bet
ter If some one else said it?" @Yes,
answered Anuie, with Q very sober
countenance. II think il would.
have such bad cold that I cont say Il
very well. l."--Phtladclphia Call.
"YouR son leaves college this month,
does he notf" asked ono lady OF IN.
other. "Yes, his college days arc shout
over" was the reply. "Will he enter
mercantile life or one Of the profes.
sions?" He has adopted . profession
al career. Tho recent scientific 70.
searches Of Profs McCafftey, Sullivan,
Mitchell. and Rourk have diverted hi
mind into channels Of pugilism. and hia
father says it wss never possible u
knock anything into him, il q probable
that something can be knocked out oi
him,"-Pittsbilrgh Chronicle