The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1884-06-05
The Old Man, the Clerk and the Boss.

"NaOuw, I Jest reckon l look gol
dang good,' remarked the old farmer
in front of 4 Monroe avenue clothing
house, as he picked up a woman 5
straw hat and put it upon his head.
The old man 5 bump of tirmnCss was
quite prominent and his unusual head
adornment just about fitted that pro
lection of his Uranium. The brim Of
his garish and rather startling hiatt
was of soIferinO shade swung around
wildly in a light breeze and stirred up
the old mans gray locks. Then he
looked the article over critically, as he
removed it from his head.
. Gettin' wuss and wuss," he con
tinued; "naOuw when l was young the
boys just thought they were flynn
high il they got a suit Of hOmespun and
a cheap straw hat with big plaids. An
each hat was good fur four years. In
these days they're a gettin' things like
these, and get two or three every year.
But I've got eighty acres of the best
land LAWN out doors down in Macomb
County, and | rather reckon l can keep
up with the percession. I'll Just buy
one of these for every one of the boys
and myself. too, and we II cut a great
wide swath of envy 'mong the neigh
bDrs.
The old man had evidently been on
familiar terms for few hours with the
muscular book beer, and after going
down in several ROUNDS, came up still
in the ring but decidedly leary.
II m the Pathmaster of the Twenty
ninth District of my town, and | can
keep up my end of the log with the
best of EN- he said to the dude clerk
who came promptly to the front to do
the hODors for his customer He looked
rather doubtful at the queer outfit on
the old man 5 head. and was reminded
foTcibly of the end man in the last min
stTcl show he had wasted his substance
on-in the act where the end man had
gagged the audience by tying an infant
plug on the apex Of his head.
Wrestling W tn his desire 20 laugh, tho
clerk said: what can / do for yOu@'
- like to have a green hat tor Bill,
a yellow one for Tom, blue one for
Sam, and the red IN for myself. How
much do you charge for emp"
My dear sir said the polite clerk,
''those hats
Think | can't pay for EN-, eh?"
And in about a second the ancient piOn-
ecr pulled out of his trousers pocket a
sweat and time-worn pocket Ook cir
cumnavigated by twinc sixteen times,
but which padded out between the
Irvine at every point, and looked rs
though the owner had just sold his
wheat crop. He unwound it, and sue
cession of bills of high denomination
doomed up. Il rather think I'm good
for The bill" the old man continued,
nearly falling over as he wound the
wallet up again.
Il didn't mean that, but, sir-but-
mi I,7f hof In
Won better get something else?n
The clerk thought it was a cyclone
that landed him with a dull thud" all
in a heap behind the counter. But it
WASH t. The hilarious hayseed STUN
blcd forward the moment the words
were out of the gcntlemanly clerk s
mouth, and swung his tOil-toughened
fist, awkwardly but with sufficient pre-
cision, against the nose of the clerk.
The blow sounded like the chug of a
pile-driver, and the young man tum-
bled like brick block.
Il m a little tew old tew be fooled
with by any city chap that's bin dug
tew early. As though l didn't know
them want wimmins hats" And the
old man went out, at a high pitch of
Indignation, wearing away his gaudy
hedd-gear, the same unpaid for
When the gentlemanly clerk recov-
cred sufficiently to sit up and look
around in dazcd sort of way his en-
ployer further paralyzed HIM by saying
eXcitedly:
Your serlices vos not vonted cen
dose places no longer. How you zup-
pose dot / bays taxes midOwd some
tales vos got disclosed of? Der vos
two hundred Der sent lost on dose hots.
Mein Colt, pecsnees vos all broken up
NIT desc gchumps of CLERKS. Beddcr /
make a assignment Dose vas always
Won rood eenvcstmcnt. You vos dis
charged onless YOU would like to work
pv me for twenty-five per cent. Of your
present zalary. Dose vOs more Is you
vos wort. but vos a liberal employer"
The gentlemanly clerk did not stay.
Detroit Free Press.