The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-10-25


 Blaine come down?7 Republican edito- rial: 3Wiii Mir. Cleveland come down!'
 The name of the man who calculated the first eclipse is not known. Oh, fame, upon shat a crupbling pedestal dost thou stand. An! Mrs. Lockwood, your name may sink into differentiated ob- liyion.
 John Stuart Mill waited fourteen years for a man to die so he could marry the widow. Mir. Mill was a patient philoso- pher, and a much better man then he would wait fourteen years for his own wife to die 90 tha, he could marry again or remain single, just as the humor should seize him.
 A cable dispatch from London says :: The 7imes thus comments on the re- suit in Ohio: The returns show that Blaine has carried the state over Carl Schurtz, the German candidate. The Germans in Ohio, who are now for the first time enjoying the franchise privilege are enthusiastic and declare that although Schuriz was defeated, that he will again present himself in November and beat Mir. Blaine. The election in New York between Buffalo and Cleveland is not likely to be influenced by Buffers election in Boston,"
 Look heah, Ransom," said an old negro to a young fellow, "l doan' min yer 'sociatin' vid my daughter, bu, druther yer wouldn' come roun' my house DO mo-. Time fore de las what yer wuz heah, missed CT water bucket, an de las time de bridle wuz gone, an now, ez has use fur de saddle, druther yer wouldn' come heah. doan' say dat yer ain't hones', fur de Lawd knows b1ebes yer is, but such cuis things happens while yer is in de neighborhood, so jes' ter please CT ole man, whu, ain't enioyin' very good health, please doan' come roun' dis house no mo-"
 The old-timers" will not recognize the utility of the weather bureau. Just af:er the recent cold wave had come, a merchant in explaining the cold weather flag, said: Nov, you see, the flag is hung out at least twenty four hours be- fore the cold wave reaches this place. This gives the people time to protect all perishabie goods" "That may be true enough" replied the old fellow, "but before them blamed Yankees rigeed up the fool contrapshun, thar want no cold waves. When the weather wsneed to change, why, she just changed, an tAar want no wave about il"
 Bill Wye, who vas lifted by cyclone some time ago, has, the lovers of genuine Aumor are glad to sec, SO far recovered as to be able to resume work. The humoriss himself may be crippled, but the legs of his humor are ever nimble. Pain may choke poetry until it is black h tsse Ece !: may box the ears of ordi- nary prose composition until they ring like the mournful chimes of Ss. Louis church, but humor takes pain on its lap and employs one hand in fondling the stiff fjointed wretch while with the other 1t amuses the public. America has never produced ruer type of humorist than Bill Nye- To surpass him, ii seems to us, is impossible.
 George Merritt put bullet into his br&ins rather than suffer any more from Ayspepsia- When dyspepsia gets a good hold on a man iis grip is as firm as tha, of total dcprzvity IL takes out of bis hands the magnifying glass with which he has been accustomed to look at life and cempels him to look at every thing through the big end of telescope Then he becomes disgus,ed and retirex.- Asas Yeyk Tsi<s,a@.
 The man who has had the nervous jim jams," arising from indigestion, cannot blame the uniostrnaie Merritt Dyspepsia, at one blow, crushes every hope. hke the hardened hoof of steer crushes the rose. There is no escape. An unspeakable dread settles upon the nind, the heaxt pumps Iike an over-taxed engine, the eyes bum, the spleen vallows h misery, the liver rages ike strong drink, and Send, intangible amid the dark shadovs drawn around him, ssiss up the soul visA . three-pEoaged gig. Q couxse the poor man sput bullst into kis hsains rather than suffer any asss foo dysPepsia."