Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-01-05
CARL DUNDsR IN POLITICS.

In recent letter to the Detroit Free
Press Carl Dunder says:
like to have you put in your baber dot
Was not candidate mid some bolitics
dis fall, und like all my friends to take
particular notice.
Der last time we had come belitics in
Detroit my ole vhomans says to me:
Carl Dunder, you look like Sheorge
Washington, you vhslk ike Daniel Web
ster, und you slump off a street car like
Henry Clay. Why doan you run NIT boil
tics und pc some great man"
Well, l tink dot all over for five days
uRd l decide dot | shall run for some of.
foe. l tells Shon Places aboudt it, and
Shon comes NIT my saloon und drinks four
glasses of peer und wipes off mis- shin und
Says:
Carl, my poy, you vhas cut oudt for
some Congressman. l fix it dot you go to
Congress und shteal und lie und loaf
aroundt und pc Statesman"
He doan' bay for dot peer, but it vhas
all right, und goes home und tells der ole
vhomans dot We shall soon pc in Washing
ton in grand shtyle. feels SO pig dot 1
almost bust open, but in aboudt vheek
dot Shon Places comes in und prings four
met NIT him. Each man drinks tree
glasses of peer, and den Shon he says:
"Carl, dis vhss der Congressional Com
mittee. We find dat der nomination vhas
already promised to some odder man. Dot
vhas all right, however. Washington vhas
a badt place, und like enough your ole
vhomas run AWAY NIT der pig-iron ring.
Katie goes in love NIT der Standard Oil
Company, und Shin Blaine puys you to
vote NIT der Southern Pacific. 1t vhas
peter you 90 NIT der Legislature
Well, feels bsdt leedle while, but
/ thinks it vhas all right. l goes home und
tells der ole vhoman dat we go nit Lam
sing, und put on shtyle ind shwell around
like some lords, und she says dot vhas goot
enough for boor folks. l vhas all settled
down, und tell all my friends, ven dot
Shon Places he vhalks ia one day NIT q
crowd of fellers und says:
Carl, dis vhas der bone and sinew, der
toil-hardened taxpayers of Detroit. We
find dot you vhas left on going NIT der
Legislature, und so we make you Sheriff.
1t vhas pully good Office. 1t bays vheh,
1t will lift you oop NIT goot society, und
mappe you hat chance to be Postmaster
afterwards. Hurrah for Carl Dunder, our
next Sheriff !"
Well, dot crowd drinks feefty glasses of
peer, und doan' bay me holdings. l goes
home und dells der old vhoman dot we
doan' go NIT Washington nor Lansing, put
we shtsy in Detroit and become Sheriff,
and life met der shall. Dot bleases her
und Katie. Der shall was handy to shtreet
cars; all der rooms vas large. und if we
haf some company nobody has to shleep on
der floor. tells all der poys dot vhas
der boss of der shall next time, und efery-
pody drinks my peer und says dot 1 go in
py a million majority. 1t vhas very nice,
but purity queek dot Shon Places comes
aroundt again NIT a different crowd und
says
"Carl Dunder, dis vhas der crowd dot
secures the sacredness of the psllot- box.
Der pulwarks of American liberty are Pc
fore you. We find dot you can't be Sheriff,
und 80 we runs you for Alderman. 1t
vhas all right Der shall vhas oldt, und
der Sheriff must take off his hat to an
Alderman, or he doan' go nit an official
excursion"
We'll, dot crowd drink whole key of
lager mitous bay, und 1 goes nome und
dells der oldt vhomans dot We vhas busted
She says she like dot. Vhen she goes on
der shtreet car eferypody says dot vos AL
derman Dunder's wife, und she has free
tickets mid all der minstrel shows und
State fairs. tink it all over und l vhas
gladt. If l vhas an Alderman l schmell
some rats, you know, und l have free
passes, free peer, und if doan' like man
l open an alley NIT his door-yard. Yes,
dot vhas right but dot Shon Places comes
once more NIT hundred men behind him
und says:
carl Dunder, peholdt SOM law und
order Down nit packed conventions
Down NIT repeating We find dot nom.
nation for Aldermans vhas promised al.
ready, ind 50 we haf to run you for con.
stables. Hurrah for Carl Dunder, our next
constables :"
Well, dot vhas two kegs of peer, and
when l goes home der ole vhomans CRIES,
Kate vhas madt, und l doan' shleep all
night. In two days Shon Places comes
nit crowd to say dot | cant't be consta-
bles, but like enough vhas poundmaster,
when l drives EN- all oudt und tells efer.
pody dot WANTS no more bolitics. vhas
too pure und copyright. If some of der
poys like to come aroundt dis fall und tell
me | yhas fine man for Mayor l hat a
shotgun nit two barrels for him. like
eferyby to read my letter und keep away
und save troubles.