, 1884-03-14
PLOT INCUBATOR
A Plan by Which Any Man Msy
Become an Entertaininx
Writer.
tArkansaw Traveler.l

lATkAuAaW 1TuNeleT.
When Professor Hogginson resigned his
position as demonstrators of anatomy and
started The Chuckle, a humorous weekly. his
friends came around aud said that a bright
future awaited him. This was partly a fact,
for II he had any bright future at all it was
awaiting him. One day, while the learned
humorist was bowed down with the cares OF
wit, a much worn man entered tho room
and cleared his throat to attract attention.
The professor looked up, turned his chair and
said:
@well, what can 1 do for you'll"
The gentleman seated himself and replied:
Information having reached me that you
have started a humorous and literary paper,
l am here to see IL you do not care for a plot
incubator"
"A plot incubator, n exclaimed the professor,
In surprise. ~ neyor heard of such a thing"
1oh, probably not, for you are young in
the business. I'll explain. A plot incubator
Is a man who matches out plots and humorous
ideas. He cannot rise to the dignity OF litera-
ture, for he has not the art of description.
All of the humorists havea plot hatcher, for it
is impossible for a man to do the Matching
aud writing with any degree OF success. For
instance, you enjoy me. Isit here, quiet as
a flower pot. You turn to me and say, Cap
tain, a plot for a story / nod In compli-
nnce. and say: Dark night. Man with Ian
tern, following hack. Woman inside hack
shrieks. Man rushes forward. Shoots vii
lain. Woman saved.' Now, there's a plot
for a two or three column story. The idea
being furnished you, all you have to do is to
write up the facts. Suppose you want to
write a paragraph, you turn and say,
Captain, idea for five-liner.' 1 nod and
say, Mule You then have the idea, and
you construct a paragraph that will cause
people to wonder how you ever caught
the idea. You turn again, and say, Captain,
idea for an item nod, and say Pie You
write it up and convulse the world with
laughter. When you want a humorous
sketch, you call for it. and l say, Young man
going to see young lady, small boy comes
into the room. Wants candy from young
man. Got none. Boy going to tell the other
follow that comes to see his sister and gives
him candy. Young lady bushes. Young
man finds out no has a rival Then you see,
you write up the affair and tickle the COM
munity and watch the exchanges copy it,
crediting it to Professor Hogginson in The
Chuckle."
~This is entirely new to me. Have all the
humorists plot hatchersi"
IAN of the best. j used TO be with Mark
Twain 1 Matched the plot for his Jumping
Frog and many of his best things, but l had
to leave him. He worked mo nearly to
death"
~ didn't know he was so Industrious"
"What, work an ordinary man to DEATH
Used to get me up all times of night. Many
and many a cold night has he come to the
bed, pinched me-, and said, Captain, plot for
a Mississippi river story"
swell, this is indeed wonderful, but just
now | haven't the money to employ even 50
necessary an adjunct. l am a thousand times
obliged, though, for the information you
have impaired, and 1 assure you that I'll
profit by the lesson"
THANK you 1 am now, during dull
seasons, employed in selling a little article Of
hearth paint. I'll just show you" )
sect out of hero, you Internal scoundrel. "
OF course the man left The colonel, iudg-
ing from his paper, Is doing all the work