davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

than for the man who may be for me or
against me, according as one faction or tho
other of his party may obtain tho ascend
ency over him. with Blaine know I
am safe. With Cleveland may be right
or may be wrong, and 1 don't want any
may be's flying between mo and lgood
wages for the next four years. No, don't,
and will vote for Blaine sure pop this
time, anyhow"
That is the way they arc talking all over
the country, and that is the way they will
vote. Go out among them and that is the
kind of talk you'll hear everywhere. The
result is just as certain now as IL will be in
November.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
AMUSEMENTS.
roRp,s OPERA HOUSE.

Mr.. Daniel Sully continues his successful
engagement at Ford's Opera-House through
out tho week. Master Malvey, his leading
support IL phenomenally clever. grand
matinee Will be given Saturday.
THE THEATRE coMIQUE.
An excellent programme is presented at the
Comique summer Theatre this week. The
show Is welldesigned and highly sensational.
DRIVERS SUMMER GARDEN.
This delightful resort 10 moro than usually
interesting this week. Fine music and o
splendid company of specially artists.
sh DANCING.
Professor sheldon's Dancing Academy will
DO rcopened Saturday, September 10.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

If THE pesky Republicans would only
stop talking about tariffs and other things
it would be a great deal pleasanter for Mr..
Grover Cleveland this hot weather. And,
besides, he didn't begin it. He has hardly
said tariff once this summer, even in a
whisper, in his backyard or down in his
cellar. Other people-especially Repub-
licans-ought to keep shy of these things
also. We say this in the interests Of human
ity-Bufialo humanity, that is, and with
tears of commiseration in our eyes as big
as campaign lies, and some of those are
whoppcrs, you know.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

BEFORE Cleveland's letter came ont the
Democrats were quarreling about the true
meaning of their platform, and they oxult-
ingly assured the people that Cleveland's
letter of acceptance would make ii as plain
as pikestaff. Now, the letter is out, and
behold, they are quarrcling just as viciously
as to the meaning Of that. For instance,
there are two Democratic papers in Nash
vile, each claiming to be the regular State
organ Of the party in Tenuessee-the Baa-
ner and the Americail-both asserting that
it is the old DR.. Townsend in that bailiwiclx
Each Of these organs reads tho letter In diff
ferent way, and they are at 1t, hammer and
tongs, over that blessed letter, which was to
settle everything for the great old party.
Well, there is nothing strange about all
this, for it has long puzzled political philoso-
pliers to explain the existence of tho Demo-
cratic party on any reasonable hypothesis.
In fact, tho only thing the party aud its
followers can do is to explain, explain; moth
ing but explain. Some day there will be
nothing but very much attenuated ex.
PLANTATION, and thus we will get rid of the
measly thing-all but the at. ex. aforesaid
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
A Woman with Remarkable E.O-
1ucnce.

Mrs. Weldon, whom her sex must look up
to with pride, having alone and unaided de-
feated host OF English lawyers aud NJ. Ds,
and proved distinct conspiracy TO entrap her
Into lunatic asylum, possesses remarkable
eloQuence. Her arguments, as read, are close
and crushing, and she Is described as having
wondcrous charm ofexprossion. She Is not
proliS, but excessively concise. She Is ener-
gotic, full of animal life. Her nervous and
Intellectual organization is Intense. Whom
she speaks fire seems to flash from her.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
The Candidate Not Better Than the
Party.

Buffalo Commercial Advertiser.
There are Independents who AFFECT to be-
lieye that II Cleveland should be elected he
would be better than his party, and, TO large
Justification for this opinion In his record or
utterances. He has mover vetoed nor ap.
proved measure contrary to the wishes of
his party. When the committee appointed to
notify him OF his nomination waitod on him
he declared his confidence in tho Democratic
creed; In his letter OF acceptance he fully In
dorsed the principles enunciated by tho Chi
cago Democratic Convention.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
Go TO KoLn,s. -4F6mer Garden, 81 E st.
FnEI CENTURY
FOR SEPTEMBER.
LEADING FEATURES.
A TRICYCLE. TOUR IN ENGLAND.

A TRICYCLE. TOUR IN ENGLAND.
Fully illustrated by Joseph Pennell. record
Ola tricycle. journey from Coventry to Chester.
through some of the finest scenery In England
TWO CAPITAL SHORT STORIES.
Pancba; 81 story yOrEaontcrey, by Thos. A.
Janvier with irontiapiece and other Illustrations
by Mary Hallock Foote-a romantic story of
Mexican llie and The ErIef Embarrass-
ncnt OF Mr. IversOn BIOunt, Southern
dialect story, by Richard M. johnson, author of
the "Dukesborough Tales" This number also
contains further chapters OF novels by Henry
James, George w, Cable ana ii. III. Boyesen.
THE NEW ASTRONOMY.
l. Spots ON the Sun. By Professor 8. p. Lang.
ley; with over twenty-five illustrations, many of
them by the author The arst of a series of illus
trRted articles summarizing In graphic and un-
technical language the most Interesting OF recent
astronomical discoveries.
OTHER PAPERS
Include; son theTrRok of Ulysses" b. W. j. Still.
man, fully illustrated by Harry Fem. Legends
Of the Passamaquoddy Indians" by Charles a..
Leland, with drawings on birch bark by Quad
Indian. "Emile Iittre,n the great French leXi-
cogTapher, with full page portrait 1.-The Late
Dr. Dorner and the New Theology" by Newman
ton" by Hdgar Chamberlin. "The Rescue OF
Chinese Gordon with map, by II. f. Colston,
lately of the Egyptian Army. Poetry, Topics OF
the 4 line, Open Letters etc.
Price, 35 cents; a q year. Sold everywhere.
THE CENTURY co New York, N. Y.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

EVERY four years the Democracy yell !:
"They only elected their man by narrow
margin, last time, and now we'll beat 'em,
sure.' And they rellgiously believe that
every day in the fateful year but one-the
day after election.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

Nor much comment on the bombardment
Of Foo.Chow is necessary, in view Of the
fact that the French loss was six killed aud
twenty-seven wounded, while tho Chinese
loss was 1000 killed and about 5000
wounded,
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

IT must be a scene of deep impressive
ness when General Hazen gloomily looks a
newspaper man over and demands il he is
connected with THE CRITIC or tho New
York Times. General Hazen can make
money, too, exhibiting that scene ut ten
cents an exhibit. A diagram of tho scene
would sell well at five cents copy. We
don't charge you anything for these sugges.
tiops. General,
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

Tie word "fudge" has positive personality
underlying 1t. Such 1t is, at least II Disraell's
old pamphlet, entitled "Remarks Upon the
Navy" wherein the author says: "rhere was
In our time one Captain Fudge commander
OF o merchantmen, who, upon his return
from his voyage, how Ill fraught soever his
ship was, always brought home his owners
good crop OF lies, so much that now, aboard
ship, the sailors, when they hear n great lie
told, cry ont: 'You fudge III The ship was the
Black Eagle, the time that Of Charles H."
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

WE hope that General Hazen won't refuse
to give THE CRITIC his able weather pre-
dictions. Yes, wo really hope that he will
continue to give us those predictions until
we were about tosay, until q few of them
proves correct. But that would be asking
too much. We are no hog.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

AFTER careful investigation into the
situation the Chicago TriJ;mc concludes
that the Republicans were never in better
condition in Indiana than now aud the
Democrats were never in worse. That is
hard on the Democrats. -
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

THE New York Times comes out as usual
to-day. This must be looked into, Gem
eral Hazen. You know you will not give
any nows to that paper or to TEE Critic.
The CRITIC, by tho way, is out as usual
to-day, too,
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

1T is strange, but I fail to notice any
feeling in the country that ought to be
rewarded for my brilliant work in rescung
Greely. W. B. HAzEN."
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
superiority OF ART Over Nature.

IHUIh LtlItT,
While lying off Madras, In tho harbor, on
my way from India, had my attention drawn
to white gentleman with brown legs, on
catamaran. 1t was explained to me that the
natives went about tho shark-infested harbor
with impunily, and that a European had had
several narrow escapes until he colored the
lower part OF his body aud Its oxtremeties,
since which he had gone about unscathed.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

JuDofNd from the tone Of his letter
about tho outlook, Mr.. Hendricks Is not
over.copfldent that the ticket upon which
he Is will win.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
ADOubIe.Enteudre. A

Now Orleans Picayune.
Be careful about what you say to a barber.
"Cut II short, old man." said n customer to
one who was spinning a long yarn In his car
while cutting his hair. The result was Il
shaved head and much profanity.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

LEWIS F. ALLEN, of Buffalo, is Cleve-
lands uncle. He has been interviewed AS
to the story of Cleveland having remained
single that he might the better support his
mother and sisters ho said;
Well, he never said anything TO mo about 1t.
All know is, he loved his folks very much aud
was liberal. They were not destitute. you un-
dors'and, because the girls were bright aud
capable. Lizzie was good lecturer and
teacher In moro recent years. II Is Just as
likely TO be true that he made such sacrifice
as TO be false, from what know OF Grove.
Mr.. Allen says that he has not associated
with Cleveland of late years because of the
latter's questionable character. The story
of his relations with Maria Halpin was q
great blow TO him. He sums up his
nephew's abilities as follows;
The fact is, Grove is bright, capable, ener-
eetic fellow. Ho does not know as much as
Blaine (my iirst cboice) who Is we'll versed In
statesmanship; nor ia he as brilliant In some
other points. Why, Blaine is known oil over
this big land for his attainments, and Grove
is only in public life about four years, yet he
made good Mayor OF DuIalo-the best Mayor
VIC ever had. voted for him the only tlmo up
TO then l ever cast a Democratic ballot. He
wac elected Governor and made good one,
and there lent anything OF q National expert
ence he has over bad. II seems too sudden
ike TO me, but I'll admit he knows moro than
Hendricks and is better than Sam Tildon.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
Serious Drought in Texas.

floresVllle Chronlc'e.
Water is so scarce along the roads that
couple OF yoeng men coming from San Antonio
on Tuesday, with bottle OF whisky, were
glad 10 bo able to exchange half their whisky
for an equal amount OF water.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
The schooiboy's work.

The HOusehOId,
A gentleman once met little boy on the
wey 10 echool with his lunch pail In hand
ana asked:
swell, my son, suppose you learn to road
Mt schoolY" "No sirl" "Whatl Not learn to
''Not spell2 Do you count2" "No, siEl1S'wAh,
my boyl What do you do?" "Ws1ksfbr school
10 let out"
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
Thursday. August %, 1884.

GENERAL HAzEN is awful lonely in the
opinion that he is great man.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

Tho following advertisement appeared In a
Western paper; "wanted, q situation by
young man who understands machinery ana
has some experience as pantaloons cutter.
Can milk. No objection TO remaining In the
city,"
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
Pawn the Family BibIo, Eh?

NOrrIstown Herald.
when Vanderbilt wants to raise little cash
TO pay his ice bill, he sells horse for S10,-
600. We never do that.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

THIS is about tho way a conversation
runs between a Republican objector and q
Democratic defender Of Cleveland'a letter:
ut is SO equiyocal-you can't deny that,
anyhow"
"But II Is very short letter"
at can be quoted as free-trado or as a
protection document"
"But It is SO brief, you know. my dear
SIR
1T does not express a decided opinion on
any Of the issues before tho people at pres
ent."
"Yes, but Just look at its bewitching
brevity, will your" .r
"It Is all things to all mon-aud 1t Is a
point.no-point production in every respect"
"Oh, yes, II is so short, don't you SEQ ?"
"It was intended to catch voters, and that
only"
Exactly; but your Jim Blaine couldn't
have said as little, and in as few words, as
Cleveland has now could he2'
"He doesn't define his position on any
ISSUE"
"Yes, but 'Brevity is the soul of Wit you
know, and, therefore, it is very witty
You can't deny that II is witty now, car
| you 2"
~ never read such wishy-washy affair
in all my political experience"
| Eyes, but can't you sec how short it is
| You like your pie-crust short, don't you
| And: did you ever SEQ shorter pie-crus
than Cleveland's 2"
I'm short, it says nothing, means moth
ing, and its result will be just nothing"
How can you say that when it Is 81
charmingly and SO positively short. Yor
said there was nothing positive about it
I've got you there you must concede tina
it Is positively short. Now, my dear sir
you'll own up that you spoke hastily whci
you said that won't you 2"
"Yes; will acknowledge that it is posi-
lively short, and positively absurd Also"
Exit Democrat with look Of pain upoi
his phiz when he hears the latter clause o
his opponents remarks.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

Fresh Attorney bIk lDtchurned every morn
Ing ana deilyeraaS41J IL "Ward" prints, $50.
per ib. AlaalSebita& Jheese, buttermilk and
sTeGtsAh1k, &c. perqt. Cream, lbc. per pint.
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28
Il wITH r

AFAY mean 'Posoned with Potash" This Is
NA the case with hundreds who have been nm
wise enough TO take sarsapnrllas, Potash MIX
tures ETC.. until digestion is almost fatally im;
paired. swifts Specific Is yege abie remedy ana
restores the system to health and builds up the
waste made by these poisons.
IT was suffering with blood poison, and treated
several months with Mercury and Potash, only
10 make me worse. The Potash took away my
appetite and gave me dyspepsia and both gave
me Thtun atisfn. then took Sarsaparlllas, etc,
Allthtse SarBapnrilla mixtures have Potash In
them. This made me still worse as it druvr'tnc
poison further Into my system. friend insisted
/ should take Swiits specific ana IL cured me OF
the Blood Poison. drove the Mercury and Potash
ont of my system. and to-day I am as well as
ever VAS GEO. o. WELLMAN, JR..
"Salem, Mass"
John A. Smith, the largest merchant In Gaines
vile, Ga, says: II suffered for years from the
combined effects of Eryspelas ana ECZEMA L
continued 10 grow worse under medical treat
mpnt and by taking medicine containing Potash
S. s. s. cured me thoroughly and absolutely. My
appetite, strength and flesh returned as was
cnfed with It,"
Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed
"'e W THE SWIFT SPECIFIC co,
Drawer 3, Atlanta, Ga.
N. Y. omce, l59 W. 23d ST., bet. 9Th aud 9Th
Philadelphia once, 1905 Chentnut street
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

THE New York Independent, in It's issue
of this week, is very severe on Cleveland
1t must mako decidedly interesting read
ing for his supporters. In an article on
"The Moral Issue" it contends that the i'm
moralities of mans private life arc mat
ters which do concern tho public, when
that public, with tho knowledge of these
immoralities, is asked to make him the
Chief Magistrate Of great Nation. 1t
says:
A debauchee, known to be, or TO have been,
such, is not the man to be elevated to the Of
ice OF President OF these United States. This
one fact should be fatal to him. The people
should not, and, as we believe, will not, so dts
grace themselves, In the sight OF God aud
sound morals as to besIow this honor on any
ssuch base pronigate' !.
What a,strange spectacle such law.breaker
II elected, would present In tho parlors OF the
White Housei What m opportunity 1t would
give to Mormon polygamists to sneer and
laugh there at the efforts OF the General Gov.
ernment 10 suppress the monstrous abomina-
tions In the Territory OF Utah What de-
moraliZlDg lesson II would be 10 the young
men OF the country What barrier to the
successful teaching OF morality from the
pulpit or political platform or In tho halls of
Congressl All decent people, not to say Chris
tian people, would have TO hide their heads
with "A profound sense OF shame aud disgust
mol Noll the majority OF tho voters OF this
country Will not and cannot approve OF any
such beastly and heathenieh standard OF
morality.
The Independent closes its article with the
following appeal;
We call upon the religious press OF tho Ma
Non, and also the Christian pulpit, TO speak
out In bold and emphatic language against
his election. The Issue now is moral ono,
and that, too, Of the graSest character; and
thlB is no time for any ttmid, halt-hearted or
half way utterances. When the religious
press and the pulpit shall cease to teach and
preach good morals, then both Will becoms
alike unworthy OF respect or support
The Evening critic., 1884-08-28

yNvENING GLASSES .,.........s5 A MONTH
~ Arithmetic, bookkeeping, English oram-
mar, Penmanshlp, U, S. History, Geography
speiling' S' W. Flynn, A. NJ, s. w cor. sth and
IA SlS. II. w. iyI.tf
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20

THE country is flooded with illustrated campaign papers. Pictures are all the rage. The cheap cartoonist is in his glory, but after the presidential election he will find that his tame is not im- mortal. A few of our illustrated journals have made good hits" PHek. with its "tastooed man," and Harpey's WfekLy, with its lion twisting scene. 7He /sdge's cartoon, representing Beecher, Jones, Schurz and Curtis hanging themselves, was one of the best illustrations of Amer ican politics. The Washington Hakehei has contained many striking caricatures, and the same can be said of Texas SJ5- iags and Indianapolis Scissors. Light writing may be for day, but light draw ing IS only for . minute.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20

MRS. FRANK LESLIE has purchased Our Cosfssfsf, the magazine started some time ago by the Hon. Albion Tourgee, author of"A Fools Brand The Honorable Albion made a mistake in supposing that the American people thirsted for his kind of li,erature-in fact, the publication of his magazine was in itself a kind of fools errand. In OSy Confinqpf there was a trifle too much strut and not enough nimbleness. This country is hardly old enough yet to fully appreciate the beauties of dull writing.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20

jury, fhat my deSense is satisfactory. Aunt Agafka did"
 Hush your mouth, Oscar, you allus was a fool 1"
 < say anaf, tel the truth. Did maks love to you P
 Hush your mouth, tel you. Tke, ketch the mnlex Thar aint no jestice leit in this country an if that jedge wsht as stuck up ss the rest O 'em, he'd hsve me paid for my troubie.s
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20

LONE of the causes of the .noysfag Toxynars remarkable success" says Mir. Albert Pulitzer, is that l have kept it full of good humor." This is true. Good humor has ever characterized the Morning Journal. A man of good humor is always welcomed while a man of bad humor is summed. The maga- zines even are learning that the people want humor. When a magazine learns anything you may know that the fact is palpable.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20

A recent writer wonders why our American youth. who use such good, plain English in conversation, soar to the seveash heaven of rhetoric when they are set to writing. This tendency to bombast is no doubt born of a vague feeling that the common things of life he outside of the pale of literature. It is lair te presume that bad literature is largely to blame fer the existence among young Americans of such false notions. The dime nosei, . ype of class of trash widely read m this eesas1 (shough now happily giving way to exesilsnt juvenile publicationsl be sess in the yo1ag . sublime contempt for ersse'eS s.vcs..s :: realty. ::s es:.-s-.rs=: o'sreeard of the oedinary facts of lie, iss absurd ponposisy ef style, and its tavdry noradity ef phrase, eaeender a morbid craving which the neus,,, s;,ts of A s;mn,. reality cannot saiisfy.-Dss Aoiss .MsR
 This 's one reason why tAe young man who considers himself highly educated fails in journalism. Having learned i, lev set phrases of ancisat sr,ndilo- quence, he expscss to enter the ol6c. o4 a large daily papg and become passsr,- maksr ia tAe fosndy of pehGc opiaioa. He leots visA csaAsnps spoa tAe sinpas languaee q the mn vAo has spne his Ne in tAs khsasy q progssssive sAossAG bat haa(ly naAagss b Esalise tAs snsnRta q thsss Aomely Eagiish sxpssssieas vhicA As6ads oa his dask: "Mr. Eve. grssa: Yeur sssvices asene losgex se- quiSed- Go b tAs basiness oEsce and eet the amount q money due you."
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20
MlsuNDRRsrooD HlM.

"l have always preserved my family honor," exclaimed an Arkansaw man, with a violent demonstration, "and shall suffer 10 insult at this Late day You have said, sir, that am no gentle man. The consequences will be fatal to one of us"
 "I did not say that you were not a gentleman" replied a red-headed fellow with whisky squint. "I said that you were liar. Amt that what said, Jim P turning to . companion.
 "That's vha. you said," Jim replied.
 "Then, sir, 1 ask your pardoa," said the gentleman "I simply misundeE- stood you, but sou cannot blame . mau for upholding the good name of his hmily. We'll, what are you all going to saxe ?"
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20

1Ae DesAsa gni is coaaiasFed acpoa- paiGAed vb0 sAo c1n 0eezo -1i1Auuf azuqping oG h9 eyeGlnnea.s Ard GAafs all tAese ouluiae 69Sagians hnow sf she Desesa gil We vo1A Aave shem b undsEstAnd thaf tAe Bossna eikl nsww saseEeG She simPly isdsless i sleEnu- tnfioa.-Besk1a zSansryitS.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20

THE Hot Springs of Arkansaw bring out bad blood" says amedical exchange. Yes. at Hot Springs, bad blood is gener- ally brought out with a gush and the eoroner's jury decides that the treatmen, is correct. Desperadoes will after awhile learn that there is a common law in Hot Springs which hesitates not to make itself felt. Violent deaths are ever deplored by iaw-abiding people, but the only way to meet the immediate shotgun is with the immediate shotgun. Some time ago at the Springs, a man approached a lawyer and said "Oh, save me, sir There cores fellow with shoe-gun. He will kill mel" Let him come," the lawyer replied. "Dont get excited and if he should kill you, m see that he is properly prosecuted" This sort of con- solaticn does not always have a quietinR effect. Last week, the chief of police oi Hot Springs was forced to kill a man to save his own life. If he had allowed the man to kill him. the prosecuting attorney would, no doubt, have done his bess. bu, still, the chief of police would have been dead. It is all very well for northern journals to speak of every shotgun affair as a cold-bleoded murder, but the grea, law of humanity grants to every man a right to save his own life.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20
A RkAsoN.

sWhy doat yoa vipe yosr nosef r ashed . teacher of . Sunday school clasx tuning b . iEsckied-face boz.
 @Canse l aint got 10 hanheschz an' l asat wanssr vipe h sa " h.a', fsr mnr ssA ue t~ kesP ny nose deaa an' ny hands dizsy.r
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-09-20
AN APPROPRIATE MOTTO.

"Can you rive me m appropriaee motto for my paper ?" asked . young editor of an old journalist.
 "vc. vs.s .e.s eece~ se he ssaecess. Of courser
 ~YaD
 You want it to go into the best so- ciesyT
 .Of course.n
 @This will do: Hue to the scandal j; let the filth fall where ii nayv