davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
Advertising Enterprise.

.'Moses." said Mrs. Schaumhcrg tc
her spouse, You shUte haf read de al.
verdisement vot Isaac hat cot oud Re
haf more pizzencsS enterbriSe vot yoU
haf got"
''aow You make 90, oud. Repecca?"
replied Moses.
Wv Isaac's advertisements .rea's.
mot only mus mine gooJs pc solt ride
away quick, but dem sthore vixu-es viii
hat TO pc moofed oud Ply der Sd OF
Snanniary.
dots holdings. Repecca, dots nod
dings at all to mine new advertisement.
You dond could hat reat all NV mine
cart, Ell? De cart in de baper vos in
your name, und it reats: i, Repecca
Schaumberg, viii positively sell. or gil
away at de lowest briees, everydings in
mine former husbands sthore. as he had
died NIT starvation for selling dings sc
.sheap. und mus de funeral expenses
ride away bay oop.' Vat you dinks
now, Repecca? How high am dot foI
enterbrisesh - ef-F.---sr,
'.Achl mine Mosesi How coult l hal
such boor obinion mate of you as dot:
Und still | carnot see vot geeps you sc
long dot legislature oud.-Teras Stft
ingS.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
The Pudding in the Chair.

A paragraph of State news. embody-
ing droll Thanksgiving incident at a
dinner table in Wyndham, leads Dr. c.
Il. Lyman. of this city. to recall similar
occurrence in that HcighbOrhood long
time ago-before he was born, and he
is eighty. In the original incident
(Which was Il true story) the ''head of
the table lawyer, while standing to
carve the turkey, found need of more
room, and so set a big dish of hot pud-
ding in his own chair The company,
seeing the chance for fun. diverted his
mind from the pudding by introducing
a lively theme shat set all a-laughing-
and when Mr.. Carver sat down he sat
in the hot pudding. The later version
whether of Il new and real incident or
an Improvement on the old one-is that
at the recent Thanksgiving in Wyndham
the carver found the turkey tough
one to unioint, and, aftertugging awhile
at it. he made more room by clapping
4 big dish OF hot pudding into his
vacant chair. and went on hacking at
the turkey. his energetic but ill-directcd
labor finally landing the obdurate fowl
in the lap of a lady at the table, and
scattering the table cloth with grease
and gravy. The carver. aghast. and
ruefully ecclaiming: Now Eve done
it, weakly subsidized into the pudding,
and found he had indeed done it
Hartford Times.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
The Profit in Farming.

In agriculture, rs in al other indus
tries, il is the best use Of opportunities
and materials that makes the most
profit The soil /, the material from
which the farmer produces his income.
1t is productive only when it is at work,
that i. when ii is bearing some crop.
When il is idle it IS simply so much
money 1T rest and yielding no interest.
The soil. too. like money, IS exhausted
when i. i idle. and i, increasing in
value when ii is AT work. One might
as wei fear that 80 much money Is the
land j. WORT w5u,d become reduced IN
value hy benz we'll invested. rs that
the land would be Impoverished w:!en
il is in a productive condition Ills
can be ycr- clearly shown. \ !ield IS
sown now 10 we, and the crop will be
rathern next july. frequently IT VIII
lie until he ugEt spring, When 1t may
be uiau.aitoc corn. The corn will stand
a month after Il i TiUe and might be
cut. and the land VIII oe riowrd in ,he
spring and eoHH with oats. The oat
Sfuhbln viii DE two months before II IS
ploweI and sown - fail grain II come
kind. Now the ground has been Idle
more than halt the time, producing
no.hir~. On the other Ea2d. = field
now In rye or wheat may be plowed
as soon rs the crop Is cut and
planted with fodder corn, or
sowu with millet, or 4 green crop
such IS rape. or with turnips. aod from
five to ten or fifteen tons per acre OF val
liable fodder taken from the soil This
viii feed 4 good many stock, sheep, pigs.
cattle. or cows, and the whole value Of
it viii be returned in manure. Or the
crop NAV he plowed under and the soil
greatly enriched by it. The following
corn crop will he increased either way
bv the manure or the green stuff plowed
in. If the corn Is put in in good season,
the land being plowed in the fall 50 that
no time is lost. and IS cut * soon q The
grain in glazed. rye NAV be sOwn and
narrowed in. and good fall or winter
pasture nav be secured. There viii be
something u be plowed in. too, In the
Sprinr more o. less, and again the land
will tie in better condition. This con-
slant cropping viii keep down weeds
and viii produce something that may
be fed to stock, and if done, IS rule.
will easily provide fodder for twice Is
much live stock rs the farm usually ear
ries. No farmer viii have = sha:iow OF
q doabt that 4, the end of ten years with
such treatment a this his land viii be
far richer and more productive. and he
will be nroportionately richer himself
than if it had laid i!le six months of
each Il those years.-N. I. IiB:cs.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
Playing Valet TO Himself.

Our friend y. is lust now in very low
water and has been compelled to give
-up his valet. and this Is how he supplies
his place. Every morning about seven
O'Clock he jumps out of bed. puts on
the blue trowsers with the yellow stripe
that his servant used to wear. ties the
traditional apron around his waist and
then sets to work to blacken his boots,
brush-his clothes and put them in his
dressing room. after which he lies down
again and goes to sleep. About ten
O'Clock he rings. OF course, no one an
swers the bell. Nevertheless. and Just
as though his man stood there awaiting
his orders, he says: John. nv boots
and clothes" .'You will find them in
the dressing-room, sir" he replies to
himself ':All right, John, you may GO;
I'll draw the curtains myself. He
then gets up, and this semblance of his
former luxury appears to make up for
the loss of his dismissed valet-Paris
Figaro.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.-The Chronicle
publishes in substance the following mar
vel. Captain ". I. Swasey, the oldest
pioneer Of the coas., makes a statement of
the intense suffering OF his friend Col D.
J. Williamson, an Army officer of diStinc-
ton and an Ex-U. s. nSul, who was at
tackled in the wintor of 1862 with violent
Ri sunati,n. So great was his agony in
after years, he became helpless cripple,
and after trying numberless remedies, the
baths OF other countries and spending a
fortune OF 50, $50, the disease seemed to as
sumo a more virulent type. Finally, lie
was persuaded to try 81. Jacobs Oil, the
greG. conqueror Of pain. 1t worked a mir
acle of cure. IN letter to the Chronicle
he confirms Capt. Swasey's statement and
adds: Il cheerfully give my unqualified
attes alton to the truth illness Of The state.
ment, because 1 feel perfectly certain that
a knowledge OF my cure by 81. jacobs Oil
will prove the means o. relis viu Z hundreds
Of sufferers"
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
Scaling Hotel Figures.

An old lady, with jerky voice and q
great display of snuf-box and spectacles,
got left BY train the other night and
had to 90 to hotel for lodgings and
breakfast. A few minutes before train
time the clerk went up to her room to
notify her, and found her sitting in q
chair as stiff as a Major. As soon as he
entered she broke out with:
How much day is this hotel?'
Two dollars, madam"
"How much where you don't have
supPer'''
Twelve shillings.
How much where you sit up all
night long, execting to be murdered
every minit?'
Just the same-twelve shillings"
How much where you don't eat any
breakfast for fear of being pizened!"
she continued.
Just the same. madam. There is
Your bed, and breakfast has been ready
these two hours"
"WeN, I don't pay it. >"
''But, madam"
NO, not if l die fur it! Here I've sot
in this blessed cheer all night LONG. hear
ing whistles and bells and folks running,
and men whooping, a%i expecting every
mint would be my last on airth."
Has that been going on all night?"
Every mint. SIR. I've allus made 4
practice O minding my business,
and didn't propose to set fire TO my
self by fooling with that thing. How
much IS it where YOU sot and tremble
like leaf, from eight o o'clock at night
till next morning, wishing to goodness
YOU hadn't been fool nuf' to start for
lllanQy alone"
Just the same, madam"
Not by q jug-full. young man! Here's
fifty cents, and YOU can take the rest out
in a law suit, l haven't mussed the bed
nor touched breakfast, and fifty cents
is plenty for having aroof OVER head.
Git ont O. the way, for I'm going
He had to move aside or be run over,
for she picked up her sachel and put on
steam until nothing could stop her. She
made her way down stairs and started
for the depot, and when boy asked if
she would have her baggage toted she
wheeled on him and replied:
You meander! I've bin swindled out
o. fifty cents already. and if there's any
more fooling around. somebody will git
hurt.-DeiyOU Free Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
Their Name Is Legion.

Legions of people have had their lives
made miserable by Piles. This painful
difficulty is often induced and always az
gravated by Constipation. Kidney-W ort
is the great remedy for all affections Of
this kind. 1t acts as a gentle cathsrtic,
promotes healthy action Of the bowels,
and sooths and heals the infaned surfaces.
1t has cured hundreds Of cases where all
other remedies and applications have
failed. Sold by all druggists.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
FARM AND FIRESIDE.

An Iowa farmer trains his grape
Fines on elm trees, and claims i'm
proved results Chicago Journal
Tough meat may be made as ten
Ter as any by the addition of little
Vinegar to the water when it is put on
% boil.-N z Herald.
TO keep ice from windows take a
sponge or ordinary paint brush, rub
over the glass once or twice with lit
lie cold alcohol.
There is no use in cleaning your
poultry houses unless you burn the old
nests. They viii harbor more of the
various kinds of poultry parasites than
gOu can ever eXterminate with white
wash Drush.-EIctaHqe.
Partial paralysis in mare IS a Sc
rious matter and requires a long time
to produce any beneficial results. Give
her one diam each of powdered nuv
vomica and lOdide of potash night and
mornigg IN her food for month or two.
Give the paraIvzed side plenty Of hand
rubbing aid Chicago HyT5e-
man.
"A writer in LjDyjncopS NGgqziue
SAYS tina. the economy Of French cook
ing Is something to open American
eyes. Not q drop OF water in which
vegetables are boiled eyer drains away
wa>.cI. hIt with IA of milk and a
little pork fit or butter Is made a good
soup vehicle b. means Of which to con-
sumo dry bread. -
In the carly stages the SPAWN, SAYS
Il ,
developed, but afrerward it is so well
marked thata SPAWN may be pronounced
TO eNIs'- without an examination Of the
Joint Treatment should be directed
TO the abatement of the Inflammation,
which gives rise TO the pain, and also
to promote absorption Of the new
growth. Apply tincture of iodine
daily over the Joint with Il brush.
Homemade yeast is much slower
in It's action than brewers, and if set in
the morning the bread would probably
not be readg till quite late in the even
ing. 4 two-pound LOAF will take about
three-quar,ers of an hour in an ordinary
oven; zen minutes longer if baked in a
tin. Keep a clean, bright skewer for
testing If, when plunged iato the loaf,
it comes out clean. then the bread may
be drawn, but if sticky it must remain
lon@er.-N l. HryG'd.
The simple plan OF storing eggs in
dry a-hes has been used for some time
by 4 correspondent Of the Lire Stock
Jourf0 with very satisfactory results.
Though rather fa~tidiouS about their
quality, he reports having enjoyed
those thus kept during a period of
more than four months. and in one IN
stance a whole year. The only precau-
tons seem 10 be besides, of course.
sound eos 10 begin WITH "to see that
the ashes are quite dry, and TO see that
the cr-s DO not touch one another"
For barley soup, cut three slices of
bacon IN two pounds Of the neck OF
veal in small pieces; put them in a
saucepan Or small kettle with 4 pint Of
water. Let this simmer for three
quarters Of an hour, then add one small
onion, a carrot. two stalks of celery,
hall teaspoonful of black pepper, Il
teasnoouful of salt, and two quarts Of
hot water. Let this boil for at least
two hours. then take from the fire. and
when cold. remove the fator scum from
the top. strain the soup. and put it on
the FIRE and add a pint Of barley which
has been washed and soaked in cold
water for three hours at leAst.-BOSt0H
GiOja.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

THE BLOOD WOULD RUN.-For FIVE years
was great sufferer from Catarrh. Ny
nostrils were SO sensitive could not bear
the least bit OF dust; at times so bad that
the blood would run, and at night [ could
hardly breathe. After trying many things
without much benefit l used Ely's Cream
Balm. l am living witness of its efficacy.
PETER BRUCE, Farmer, Ithaca, n. Y.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
Twenty-Five Per Cent. Stronger than any
Other Butter Color,
WELLINGTON, Vt, May 8

BURLINGTON, Vt, May 3, lS.2.
l hereby certify thai / have examined
the Butter Color prepared by Wells, Rich
ardSon & Co., and that the same is free
from alkali or any other subst tnce injuri-
GUS to health; that have compared it with
some OF the best of the other But er Colors in
the market and find it to be more than TWEEN
iy-fvc per cent. stronger in cO4or than the
best OF the hers.
| am satisfied that it is not liable t. be-
come ranci l, or IN any way to injure the
butter. | have examined it alter two
months free exposure to the air in place
liable to large changes OF temperature,
and found no trace OF rancidiCy, while 9TH
er kinds similarly exposed became rancid.
A. II. SABIN,
Prof Chemistry University of Vermont
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

TIE only remedy sold in the United
States to-day that actually cures rheuma-
tism is Du ang's. 1t never has and never
can fail to cure ths worst case. Write for
free pamphlet. r. K. Helphsnstins, drug
gist, Washington, D. c.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
4 Messenger or Health,

Sent free to sufferers from nervous,
chronic and blood diseases, brain and heart
affections, nervous debility, exhaustion,
ETC., whe have failed to find relief. It tells
of wonderful cures effected by DR.. SCOTS
Coca, Beef and Iron, with Phosphorus.
Sold by druggists; 81. DR.. Scott, Kansas
City, No. Ask your druggist for pamphlet.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

AFTER long Mercury and Potash treat
meIt, found myself cripple from Mer-
curial rheumatism. Tried Hot Springs
two years without relief, and was finally
cured sound and well by the use OF Swift'S
Specific Is. 5. S. CHAs. BERG,
Hot SDrinceS Ark
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

"LOvE," says an amorous writer, 6" is
an internal transport" A contemporary
remarks: ''Tne same might be said of a
canal-boat."-TrOyI Times.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

"Fitted cut for the season. Dresses,
closks, coats, stockings and all garments
can be colersd successfully with the Dia-
mend Dyes. Fashionable colors. Only
1oc at druggists. Wells, Richardson & Co.,
Burlington, Vt
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

SwIFr's Specific Is. S. S. has relieved
me of an obstinate case OF Dry letter, which
had troubled me for twenty-five years, and
had bafflei all sorts OF trea ment.
REv. l. Z. BRANHAH, Macon, Ga.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

SOCIETY is very queer. The people most
sought after are those who do not pay their
debts.-ChicdQo Journal
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

WHEN the daughters are infants mothers
are anxious to keep matches out of their
reach. It's different when they grow up,
Philadelphia Press.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

IT is said that the Chinese giant speaks
eight languages. He's not tall ignorant.
-JOHkerS Statesman.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

FLORIDA wa'er-The Suwanee River
Washington Hdtchet
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

WoNDER treads on heels of wonder. Sdrad-i-
tim herUsnS is guaranteed 70 cure nervous dis
orders
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10
Prof Chemistry. University of Verm2nt.

A MAN must be very much elevated when
be talks down his bootleg fer half an hour
installing it for telsphone.-N Y Her
aid
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

GOOD partners at cards. chimney
sweep and bU@lsr. One can follow SCOT,
and The other can trumyot.-ChicQgO IriG-
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

THE best fishermen ike to fish on their
own hook.-B.l fFlO Express.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

Hale's Honey OF Horehound and Tar.
Make timely use Of it for coughs. Pixies
tOothachs drops cure in one minute.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

No SAFER REMEDY can bs had for
Coughs and Colds. than "BrOtcE'S BrOH-
chidl IrockeS." Sold only in boxes. D cts.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

CONSUMPTION in any stage may be cured
by Piso's Cure. - cents a bottle.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

Samaritan NerriRe cured my daughter
Of fits" said Jno. Au pay, OF Albany, o.
The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-01-10

II afflicted with Sore Eyes, use DIR. Isaac
Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it. sc.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-01-15
Through the Everglades.

New ORLEANS, Jan. 5.-The Times
Democrat prints a detailed account Of
its Florida Everglades expedition. The
report was written by Major A. P Will
liams, commander of the expedition
The exploring party consisted of twelve
persons, six white and six colored, and
carried six Racine canoes. They went
bv steamer October II last, from Cedar
Keys to Puuta Rassa, Fla. where they
took to their canoes and proceeded up
the Calooschatchie River to Lake Okee
cheebee, a distance of abont ninety
miles, arriving the 1st of November.-
Skirting the western and southern shores
of zOkeecheebee they discovered eight
large streams flowing into the dense
sawgrsss swamps that borders the ever
glades. Entering one of these streams
which tbev named st D." the expedition
proceeded to its head and heean the te-
dious work of cutting way through
the swamp to the sawgrass. The dense
ness Of this swamp will be imagined
from the fact that the party travelled on
an average only quarter OF mile
day. Mvriads Of huge a ligators, snakes.
and poisonous bugs we're encountered.
The leeehes we're especially trouble
some, covering the legs OF the men,
Emerging from the swamp the part,
entered the sawgrass, which grows IRON
ten to twelve feet high, very dense, with
sharp edges that cut one way and saw
the other. This grass, the party fired
and pushed forward over the stubble.-.
After travelling due south for some ten
miles the party struck innumerahle
small, deep lakes or ponds, filed with
aligators and the finest fish. About
thirty miles from the Okeecheebee the
party entered the grassy waters of the
everglades and encamped on the island,
the 6rst dry land encountered after leav-
ing the lake. The only trees on the Is.
land were custard, apple, and wild fig
The progress of the expedition thence
forth was more rapid. They passed
through thousands OF small islands,
some slightly submerged, and all cover
ed, with large trees of luxuriant foliage
No Indians were encountered. The
head of Sharks River was reached on
the 5th of December, and. the expedi-
lion sailing down, debouched into
Whitewater Bay on the Gulf Coast,
about thirty miles from Cape Sable
The distance travelled from the Okee.
cheebee to the gulf was about 40 miles,
the whole distance in canoes nearly 800.
The expedition established the fact that
the everglades from the Okeecheebee to
Cape Sable ls worthless for any purpose
OF cultivation; that they contain no
large tracts Of land above water; that
they can not be successfully drained,
and that the establishment and mainte-
nance of telegraph lines along the ronte
traversed would be impossible The
everglades, and especially the northern
gades, is vast swamp, irreclaimable
and useless for any purpose. The only
cultivstable portions OF tie southern
peninsula lie on The Atlantic and Gull
coasts, with this vast morass between
them.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-01-15
Not Afraid of Agitation.

In Pennsylvania even the working
classes begin to see the iniqnitY of
high protective tariff. No newspaper in
that State, probably, understands the
current Of opinion among laborers bet
ter than tie Wilkesharre Union-Laader,
and it remarks that the tariff has never
been question OF so great interest as
it is at present, and never before was the
agitation of the subj ct provocative of
so little fear among workingmen. Nu-
mefons conversations with miners and
others in the. vicinity show that they are
wiser than heretofore and that they no
longer look upon the tariff as the sole
source of the good they have enjoyed.
They have come to realize, in fact, that
our superior natural advantages, onr
great extent of territory, our practically
unlimited mineral and agricultural riches
and other blessings may have had some
thing to do with giving them prospect
ty. They cannot help seeing, also, that
it is in those industries that have been
most literally protected that overpro.
duction and its consequent reyulsions
and irregularity Of wages and emplov.
ment come most fleluently.-N. Z
Herald.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-01-15
HANGED with His Throat Cut.

EASTMAN, GA. Jan. Aim Crum
mildly (co!ored) was hanged to-day for
the murder Of James A Mitchell in
September last. When Sheriff Rawlius
and his assistants went to take Crum-
midy from his cell they found small
knife in his hand. The prisoner made a
desperate effort 10 kill toe SherifI's as
sisfants, and wounded two of them
slightly. He was seized bv both bands,
hut by powerful effort he wrenched his
right arm loose and cut terrible wound
in his throai, from witch the blood flow
ell profuselv, causing him soon to be
come unconscious. At q few minutes
before 5 P. NJ. he was carried to the
scafold on stretcher and supported
over the drop until it fell. Death was
instantaneous
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-01-15
round In a Bears Embrace.

LOWELL, Mass, January Arthur
Legrand Stafford, who claimed to be
natural son of the Earl of ,unraven.
landed in New York from an Inman
steamer the latter part Of November
At ,he St Nicholas H ,tcl he met sport
Ing Southern men, and they decided to
go to Maine hunting and fishing. On
the way they stopped at Bangor, Me-.
where Stafford made the acquaintance
of a New York lady. Both became ies-
petately smtteD, and when Stafford star.
ted for the woods they had rlighied ,ht ir
troth On December 81 Sa1oid left
The camp, with bis fl . for STROLL
Shortly after hard snow storm set in,
and Stafford did not return and his COM
paninns went to find h,n They were
unsuccessful and returned to the camp
about midnight. E,rlv in the morning
Of January they again set ont About
three miles from the camp they found
Stafford in the fiI 10 embrace Of she
bear, and both were frozen. A knife
was sticking in the left fore shoulder OF
the bear. A short distance awav half.
grown cub with a knife wound in it's
heart was discovered. The guide said
that Staff ,rd had attacked the cub first.
and was then set upon hy the bear
Staiford's companions went to Bangor
and told the story OF the Young lady,
She lost her reason, ant is now in a
desperate condition. She will be sent
| to the E!mira asylum tomorrow.