The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1884-07-24
WIT AND HUMOIS.

ascend into tho upper air of Journal
ism.
1t is foolish girl who will ask hor
lover which he likos best, beauty or
brains. No mattor which way ho
answers she is sure to get mad.-PhtlG-
llelphia CaW
Minister Sargent used to bo prin.
tor, and it is said that tho cause of his
Berlin difficulty was on account of his
onco having set up Bismarck with q
small "b."
An old lady was asked what sho
would do with all the corn If it could
not be made into whisky. She replied:
II would mako it into starch to stiflcn
tho backbone of tho temperance poo
plo."
A Buffalo minister announces thai
dudes" This may be, but there arc
very few dudes in the pcws. They stand
outside waiting for tho pretty girls to
pass.
The late Mr.. Maxwell, q wealthy
milwaukee, brewer, left $500,00O
toward tho solution of tho problem of
aerial navigation" This is what wo
call riches taking to themselves wings
--L0n0cN Courier.
A Lewiston (lc.) man had been in
prison ten years, and the first thug ho
did on being set free, was to return q
borrowed umbrella, He was immedi,
atoly sent to al insane asylum. Bur.
lingto1s Free Press
"And 'ow about tho performers for
my lady's concert Wednesday ncxtPn
80 it's all right Sir Gorgus I've got
you six first violins, four second violins
and ---' "Sccond violins be hangedl
I'll ave none but first tiddles perform.
in% in '0y 'ouscm-Lonlow Punch.
Isn't it curious to think that tho
same citizen who may be heard on club
nights believing forth the bacchanalian
diuy, 'Landlord, fill the flowing
bowl" can softly Groom his youngest to
sleep with the seductive melody,
flush, my babe, lio still and slum.
bcr?''
lfyou don't believe this is tho most
prosperous country in the world, Just
notice carefully tho marvellous and
cheering increase of veterans of tho
Mexican war. We have an impression
that not less than half hundred of
them land from every arriving cmi-
grant ship.
1t is estimated from astatistical point
Of view that loss OF appetite among
young pcopl" on account of loyo
ai'nuaily saves TO tho country 800, ,OOC,-
OUU. Perhaps so; but the expense of
cAtra light and fuel and caramcls
anu icc-cr2am, on the same account, it
is estimated, moro than balances this
amount.
In Siam the women arc uCitating tho
ga, stion Of their rights. They have
gone 50 far as to petition the King that
their husbands shall not pledge them
for gambling debts. The spectacle of
lovely woman being swept away IN tho
maclstrom of q Jackpot or exposed to
the vicissitudo Of four flush is indeed
q sad one.
II want to present Augustus with
cane" said young New York lady.
"but don't know what sizo he wears ="
''What do you mean by sizep" was tho
question: "aro canes of different
GiHcs?' "Oh, yes, and ono has to be
careful in selecting them. l shouldn't
like to send dear Augustus cano with
head big enough TO choke him."
some ono has been selling tho Lon.
don Tr1Nh, which publishes the follow
ing paragraph: ''ln New York tho
latest foolish freak Is for bald mon to
paint their heads ns part of their full
dress. At 4 recent entertainment ono
individuals scalp was covered with q
carefully-paintcd battle piece, another
with Il group of fish and shells, while q
third displayed copy OF ono Of Mr..
Vandorbilts Mcissonicrs.
In French Algeria the work of OK.
terminating wild beasts is making rap
id progress. The number killed, for
which rewards were paid by the GOV
crnment, roso from CAT oIly in 1881 to
1,G56 in tho following year. Among
these tho jackals figure for by far tho
larger proportion, numbering on tho
total of tho two years / ,969 out of O.
3O3. Besides these there wcro four
lions, six lioncsscs, 1l0 panthors and
1876 hyonas.
"Mrs. Caroline Dali, authoross, has
her Winter homo at Georgetown, 3.
C."-BOStOn GIO6e. And Julia Moore,
the pootcss, Is in Oshkosh; and Mary
Walker, the lawycress, IS in Washing
ton; Eliza Pinkncy, tho advertisorosS,
is doad; and Susan Is. Anthony, tho
WorkcrcsB, is abroad, and we only havo
singcross, n couple Of painteresses, q
ridcress, and several Walkoressos to
mako things cheerful for us at home
life.
Mabol-"It does make mo sick to
hoar people speak of dresses boin9 cut
in princcsso style. }" Edith--"Thati is
strange You must certainly havo
heard tho term very ofton abroad az
well rs at home" Mabel--"Ycs, and
l thought it all right until / became fa.
miliar with Europe; but now know it
is all nonsense" Edith--"Why so?"
Mabcl-"Bccauso princcsscs haven't
any style"
"What has become of our wonderful
crimson sunsets, wondcrP" said Tom.
"Why," replied Laura, thoughtfully,
looking up from tho Bazar, 81 suppose
they have all gone out of stylo. Evory.
thing Is very quiet and elegant this
spring. l knew those wintor sunsets
wcrc too high-colorcd to last long.
They might do for tho evening"" sho
said presently, in n ronoctive mood,
'but they were too loud for tho street. :"