Omaha daily bee., 1884-06-03
TRAMP PHILOSOPHY.
An Expert Tells His Experience In
Taking in suckers.

chicago tribune,
1t was in a hard looking basement So.
loon not n hundred miles from Desplaiuet
and West Madison streets that one of the
proprietors was sitting on the edge of q
patched and torn.pool table, dangling hi:
legs and holding forth to a small crowd Of
dilapidated l%oafers, who laughed uproar.
ously when he Smiled and nudged eacl
other with knowing Observation-Disclosures
some statement with a foul expression
or oath. Business was evidently dull.
In one corner sat a group of rough-look.
ing men playing cards and s%aluting every
trick taken with m e1ecration. The
pipe-smoking tramps and thieves
stood in admiration around the
figure that was sitting on the
%pool-table. "Yiz can iist bet your boots,
he cried, 'that any man that has staid
around this corner for ez longs Oh have
don't need to larn nawthin' about any
fake or shkin-gsme that can DO put up on
a sucker in any d part ov this United
States. Oil chuck dice wild amy man,
Oil shtack the kyards wild amy man, an
Oil play wild the three shells wild amy
man, an play him for a sucker for q thou
sand dollars a lick if he's able to put up
the shugar. Tho woods is full of blank
suckers, and it's Just in this same part o.
Chicago that viz can fond it out.
"By -, your right there, Patsy"
patrcnizingly remarked a clay-pipo suck.
er, whose sh%irb.collar and vest were
conspicuous by their absence, and whose
ragged trousers were held around his body
qy "a narrow black leather-belt.
SIT was just the other noight,' contin-
ued the pool-table orator, "that four fell
lows came in here and wanted to shake
for the drinks. Two ov the fellows |
know'd blank we'll had no money, and
the other two had the DOODLE"
"Guess the fellows with The Doodle
were the suckers" laughed the chorus;
"You bet, replied the orator. "Every
tonne them suckers threw, / picked up
the dice for the other fellow, bu t ship
ped in the loaded joker as [ guy them in
sometimes let the other fellows win and
didn't ring no joker, but that was just to
encourage them, and l made four or FIVE
dollars out of them before they left, and
Ohm a son of a gun if they
know't it wasn't no square game because
-ha! ha!-they told mt they woz com
in back soon to have their rivinge. BY
| all the powers they'll git it to-hal ha'
Oh tell viz. it takes a good awnost man to
make q dacent Twin of them suckers
nowadayssswith that bloody big license to
pay. Olive seen me pack Il poker deck on
a sucker roight under his nose, an Olive
played casino with anoder and licked the
sawdust out of him every time bekiz ]
took out two or three ov the shmal
kyards and then he couldn't count game
nohow, and Olive won forty games aN
pool roight off bekiz l made the othel
fellow use soaped chalk, an l keep my
own chalk in my pocket"
escaped chalk! That's a new racket
Patsy, "admiringly remarkeda loafer with
q nose like a danger. signal.
"New racket be blanked!" exclaimed
Mr.. Patsy. "Iknew it when / was u kic
so high, an itS many a hundred sucker
Olive caught on it. A man will mis-
foive shots out av tin if he's had soape'
chalk put ON him, and he always think
it's the cue that's the matter, an heI
even borrow yours, but a " course it make
no difference whatever"
A pause ensued, when the speaker re
sumed. "But the public is all suckers
and the best job that's been put up OIL
them for many a day is this high-licens
business. If they think it's goin' to com
out av our pockets they are d--y mis-
taken. It's thin what'H have to pay tn
poiper, and don you mistake it. It
just this way: If a farmer can't sell hi
shtuff at a certain price, whatll he do
Why, won't he either sell bad shtuff, o
won't be sold out for his own price? He't
be a rank sucker if he didn't. Well, W,
saloonkeepers is loike the farmer. If We
can't get the ovid proice for our shut
we'll make the shtuff pay us one way o
anoder, and there's a thousand ways We
can make it do it, an the public'l be n,
wiser about it than q goose playin' thu
jewsharp an thinkin' all the tonne 1T
performin' Elegantly on a gold-mounteC
piano. That's the reason why the publi
is blank suckers if they think the tax i
goin' to come out ov our pocket. l
won't by q darned long sight, and TIL
public would be only taxin' their owl
pockets if they made the taxes three
tonnes as hoigh."
At this time a deplorable looking traml
with his hands stuck in his pocket wan
dered into the saloon, looked keenly a
all the faces thes e, and then with an al
of ill-assumed confidence, walked up t.
the bar and ordered o glass of beer.
"Got any money!" said Patsy sharply
mo, l amt tonight. What the blanl
hos that got to do with it2 Ill hev
thousand dollars tomorrow"
"Git out ov here right quick, you blanl
son-of-a-gunl Do you think it's off tn
loikes av viz that we saloon keepers cal
afford to pay our high licenses? Go OIL
4here, or oil throw yiz out on the soido
walk"
The tramp walked.
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