Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-07
UNSKILLFUL.

ssShot dead by doctor!" Such is the startling caption of an article ln an exchange. He must be Q very unskillful physician who has to resort to powder and ball to get rid Of a patient.-Bosfon Transcript.
 A girl baby with four feet has been born in Georgia town. If she lives and her pedal extremities should prove to be of the frlgid brand. some poor, prattling boy infant of to day has a dark future ahead of him. Bismarck Tribune.
 It isn't always to be taken for granted that a man is extra devotional because his trousers bag at the knees, any more than It Is to De assumed that @ woman's pisty can be gauged by the amount of gold upon her prayer book Fall River Advance.
 "How in the world did they come to name YOU Susannah ?" asked Mrs. Interrogation point. Really, don't know precisely" /" replied the young lady. very dSmurely; but I suspect it was because happened to bs a girl. ."-Boston Transcript.
 In one of the far western towns the inhab- itants at their Washington birthday celebra- tion couldn't find an American flag, but they came as near as they possibly could to it by pinning white stars to the hair of red-head
 cd Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
 There are twenty-one religious papers pub
 Iished in New York. It is strange that there should be so many of them, but they are no
 doubt useful to advertisers of patent medi cines and revolVers and should therefore be
 encouraged.-Boston Transcript.
 Very nice. So you're engaged to Dr. B.; it must be very nice to be engaged to doc
 tor Every time he calls, you kno~-and of course that must be very often-you feel as if you were getting for nothing what any
 body else would have to pay B for.-Har-
 yard Lampoon.
 stWhat is it that makes your hose burst P
 asked young lady. curiously, of fireman
 at firernan's ball. ''Why-why, don't know" blushingly stammered the young
 man, casting 8 shy backward glance at his
 heel, ''unlsss it is because haven't got any
 body to darn 'em mp for me. e."-Burlington
 Free Press.
 My dear," said Mrs. - to her bus
 band. "I wish you would meet me to day in front of Morrison's bookstore about 4
 o'clock Yes. love-" replied her husband
 And, Henry" continued Mrs. -, Gin case you get there before nae you can make 8 chalk mark on the pavement, and if get there before you will rub it out that you may know was there. Life.
 The late Rev. Dr. RaphaE was fond of 8 witty resort Once Gentle physician at tended the funeral of an Israelite II don't like Jewish fuueral." said he afterwards to Dr. R. ''There is no long oratien and every thing is too quiet I prefer 8 Christian funeral" ''So do |" replied Dr. Raphall
 'I prefer hundred Christian funerals to one Jewish. .''-Jewish Messenger.
 'sMe husband can't come to work today, sorr,'' said a lady, addressing the boss of the street laborers. "Ah, indeed, Mrs. Murphy! Thea there must be something serious the matter with him, for he is not the kind of man to loaf" s'Thrue for you, SOFT; he's not afraid of work. He's very sick, sorr." s.Pm sorry to hear it. Whats his trouble?" ttA very bad complaint SOFT. He's got the new rnahoney." ey."-Somersyille Journal.
 The anende honorable-A stranger travel ing on horseback through the back woods Of Arkansas was very much impressed with the familiarity that existed between the pigs and the natives The swine had free pass to the privileges of the house, and seemed to make liberal use of it. Riding up to shanty the stranger asked tall, unkempt specimen of humanity: ''Why don't you keep your pigs out of your house?" Look here, stranger" responded the Arkansas. man put ting his hands in his pockets, 'ef you mean to say that my family ain't ftten for hogs to as- sociate with, just come out like man and say it,' The stranger immediately appeased tke native by copceding that the farmer was a it associate for hog. and the usual greet ipe of: "Liehs, stranger, and have some sins mons beer. Roll pumpkin out from under the bed, and make yourself at hum. When you first spoke, thought you was getting some sarcasm on me, and don't propose to take any of that ar. ''-TexRs Siftines.