Daily Yellowstone journal. [volume] (Miles City, Mont.) 1882-1893, 1884-09-17

kleps. SMaps, Giemuines aMd 1WcOrs
rlgibles . Nice Distraction "A
Dry Goods Detectives Views
.COWMseP Thieves.
New York SUM-

He was TAN, lalhily framed, scrupul0usly
barbered. and fashionably envelopcd. Had
be been a woman, his figure would have been
termed willowy, but, though his features
were cffcminaie, there was u pcrceptible
steeliness in their otherwise blonde vac.
uity. 4 feline alcrlness distinguished hi.
sasy gong. lounging strut. lie had foxy
chinablue eyes that seemed TO appropriate
every minutie Of the long customer
throng,d counters within their scope, and
TO inspire amid the ranks of ppltily
aproned saie>women and Sinking male
jumpers either increased uneasiness or in.
dusiry. The duties Of a floor. walker
may be called manifold, he said, when he
found leisure to answer few Of The sun
queries.
III is a noble and intricate profession.
the reporter observed.
"iou are ri yht, air, and but few can
pursue the career with both profit and
eclat. Indeed, the thoroughbred floor
walker, Ike the poet, is born not made
lie has 10 see that the salespeople are not
reniss in their duties. II is his lookout
that the porters aud door openers Toe the
mark. The ssSSpt incentive Of the cash
imps celebrity is his lightning glance. The
shoppers demands would scarcely lie ex'
pedited hut for his ubiquitous revision.
The counters would never R cleared for
action, after skirmish with the 'pullers.
save through the portent Of his knitted
brows. lis smile Is courted. his dis
pleasure feared. There is sunshine in his
complai,ance. foul weather In his chagrin.
lie can fOndle merit In its golden in.
cipicncy, or skewer a peccadlllo to its
crimson core. Lastly, hut mostly. he is
the Arguseysd terror Of shOplifters, i'm
pecunious gawks, and rroflless lockers
around"
But do not great establishments like
this employ detectives 10 look after shop
lifters.H
-Yss. sir. Our, has two But. bless
you. they are mere detectives. nothing
more, |, a. the chief fiOOr.walker. am
their director, their animated spirit, or
their intellectual avant courier. as Occa
sion may demand. Dur detectives may
be wider awake to the wiles and disguises
Of old birds. the veteran fakirs, than /:
hut. Lord love you. for finesse in spotting
the embryo manipulation, for delicate dis.
ccrnmeni between the really absent minded
and the incorrigible klep. and again be-
tween the genuine 'klep' and the profes.
sionai snap rather fiatter myself can
give our hobbies odds and capture the belt. T"
please explain.
All! Well. then, klep is klepto.
maniac. aud q snap Is thief. The gen.
uine klep is real victim of the mOrbidity
called kleptomania, and wholly unable to
control It's deplorNble manifestations. Oh.
yes. kleptomania Is real disease. and no
A certain wealthy lady afflicted
with il comes here frequently during the
fashionable shopping season. and regularly
~ clockwork. after she has made her
irifiing purchases and picked up her
paras0l 10 saunier back to her carriage.
politely conduct her 10 hack room, and
wait at the door while our forewOman as.
sisis Der TO disgorge the articles she has
stolen. She has got sort OF used 10 II by
this iine-mighi almost Tx said TO admire
il. IN fatt--aEd is not al all shame faced or
4, embarrassed: though honestly think II
IN, one els hit myself would
her in rge-e e. Of the
G ives. fo instance; uneducated
oys. YOU know she would
downright Offended. There Is nothin z
tx. certain style and toniness in every
thing We used merely TO take memo.
randa OF her pickings, and suffer her to 60
home with them. when a courteous note,
a bill of them. TO her husband
would result In prompt paymeit'r a re-.
turn Of the plumber. ALWAYS with n snia.
BILE apology. But this grew TO BIZ trouble,
s1me, NJ We resorted 10 the more summary
process. We have other customers. per.
haps dozen in all, similarly afflicted ant!
susceptible to like treatment. so much
for the genuine kleTs. Then "" have the
incor gible keeps"
what is the distinction,'
a broad ore. The genuine KEEP Il
either rich ar infiuentially connected; tho
inrorrigible KEEP is neither the one nor the
o Ter. The latter is a miserable nuisance.
n II oroughly obnoxious pest. hut. fOrtu
n RI she II swiftly disposed Of. Detcc.
lion. policemen summoned. public search
and exposure, cell In Jail, true bill Of lar.
cenv nailed To her forehead, triHl, convic
ii, n sentence, and the ranks of evildoers
depleted by one. The klepton. ania dodge
doesn't avail her for q cent, and shes
ratified of to the rOgues march. with our
i'm le.ting the big drum as an incidental
But may not the genuine klep he as In
corrigible as she! And may not the In.
cOrrigible he as truly diseased and a.
wholly unable TO control the manifesto
tiOns ms the genuiney"
The hOOr.walker blinked like an intel
lcctusl center. bii boring for treasure. but
almost instantly glowed NJ selfsufh
GENTLY o. his wont. my dear sir
You do not understand; you am
abstruse. You evolve mountains out Of
molehills. said he. suavely. You mus
understand that n wealthy or Influential
woman can no more he an incorrigiblt
klep than poor or friendless woman can
he a genuine klep. a superstition TO th,
contrary In either case would be mn alb
surdiiy. Kleptomania. a. disease and IN
q business sense, Is subject 70 numerous
fne.drawn, arbitrary distinctions. 4"
What Is q 'snap't"
"A snap Is shoplifler. There are va
rious sorts II snaps. There IL the veteran
snap, wary. and, but for her face being
known. difficult 10 detect. Then snap'
ARE young and old, pretty and homcly
The young ones ARE merely In their pupil
age, hence clumsy and readily detected
When very young. and the establishment 4
somewhat s0ft.hearted, they are lik,
enough dismissed with an admonitior
after lecture In private. II the estab
lishment In otherwise, the fclOnOus hedRc
ling In less fortunate. Ours Is an other
wise. We clamp on TO thief like
thousand Of bricks, and hammer her to th,
cross IN way that makes her bonne'
jump"