Semi-weekly south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1883-1889, 1884-05-23
The Great Seller Of Kentucky Sold,
Joe Mulhattan on a Tare,
Winds up in the
W.K, L. Asy-
lum.
HoPKINsvlLLE, May 90, 1884.


The road TO fame as well as to wealth
, has its ups and downs, its troubles
and adversities. These self-evidcnt
truths have never been more fully
eXemplified than in the short career
of the subject of this sketch.
As a fit specimen and crfcct rep
rcsentatve Of the crank species Of
the ideal, the originator and produc-
er of nonentities we present TO your
notice COL Joe MulhditoN, Tie street
seller IF i eniHchy.
For several Years past Joe has been
addicted to that sin which the Scr p
lures teach that none who practice
it shall ever enter Heaven. 1t is
said that the devil is the father of
liars-if so then Joe must certainly
b. his son. II matters not of what
kin he may claim t. his Satanic NJ T.
jesty, Joe certainly has been pos
sessed with mania for lying. whcth-
er from Il love of the nOtOriety il
gave him or what else. and h. has
achieved reputation with marked
success, though he has not been with
out his crosses, tribulations and suf-
ferings of body and mind. Joe is Il
vender of hardware by trade and
wherever he has gone has made won
derfnl discoveries which he has
made known to the world through
| the press. lie has been an outcasl
for long time and few respectable.
truth-loving people will have any
thing to do with him. Severa.
times has he been fired out of stores.
insultcd, driven out of towns and
chased over hills and dalcS. AT one
time in Caneyvillc, KY, revolver
was held to his ear until he drank
the contents of Il kcg of beer. Scv
eral times he was cgged, tied up by
the tOrs an thumbs alternately
and while in Texas was ridden on i
rail, tossed up in blanket and
hunted from place TO place all over
the State, until he finally made his
exit and returned TO Kentucky.
Many practical jokes have also been
perpetrated upon him, but Of all
these there are none more interesting
than the following one:
During the past week Joe has been
lettering around this city in AN ap-
parently melancholy mode. Some
of his friends surprising him to be
contemplating suicide had grave APP
prehensions of his condition. On
Monday last he made several unsuc-
cessful attempts to sell several of the
boys, and towards evening they got
the drop ON him. Messrs. Jno. Luck
and Warren Armstrong, both of
Louisville, met with Joe here; he
was Slightly disfgurcd but still in
the ring" for sucker. lie pro-
proposed TO "sct 'em up" and
Oh their way to be hostclry
for refreshments they encountered
Mr.Joel Mcpherson, who, by the way,
was in disguise, having on heavy
black moustache. Both JOCs were
introduced, Mcpherson as Bob
Smith, salesman for McGehee, of
Belleview, who was here for the pur-
pose of purchasing some goods for
his store. Armstrong gave Mulhat-
tan the tip-that he could sell Smith
a good bill of hardware if he only
got HIM "half shot" Mulhattan
tumbled to the racket and "shot'
him freely until he apparently grew
faint and heavy laden, as it were
lie then escorted him to his room
where he introduced for Smiths III
spection a most attractive line ofim-
plements both for agricultural and
domestic purposes. There were
knives, forks, spoons etc. and rakes,
spades, shovcls and hoes. Smith
very reluctantly seemed to scrutinize
the samples as they were presented
to his gaze and after lavish profus-
ion of JOe's eloquence and few
more Smiles Smith assented to pla-
cling am order. After repeated
"smiles" and an extra dose of Null
hattan's lies some one proposed to
initiate Joe into the order of Hay
makers which was done with all the
eclat and mystery incident to that Or
der. The Duke was highly delight
ell with all he had experienced.
MULHATTAN "a LUNATIC."
There appeared in Tuesdays Ken
tucklan, over the signature Of ga LII
matte" an article headed "a Scientific
Discovery" purporting to have been
written from the w. X. l.. Asylum.
What is il? Who is this mysterious
lunatic writing from the Asylum?
The subject Of this article, and the
article is another of Mulhattan' S
wonderful discoveries. Who but
this freak of nature could conceive
the idea of goose or guinea ranch ?
On thishe has patent. There are
still other causes which lead us to
surmise that the author of the guinea
ranch is none other than Mulhattan.
First, from his actions and apparent
ly demented condition; second, We
infer that the jokes of Mcpherson
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