New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1884-04-14
SMOKING FOR COINS.

The old adagc says that poor excuse u peliei
than none, but obviously an excuse can be so
glaringy poor a. to serve no other end than to
prove that the offence of which it fam would
dispose is without palliative. dozen boys
at a boarding school once were hauled up for
smoking the use of tobacco i'll any form being
strictly prohibited, and punishable by expul-
sion. The principal stern of visage and Ofvoice,
demanded of each in turn what explanation If
any he had 10 offer for breaking the law of the
institution in a vital particular. One replied
that he smoked for his nerves; another
that he had been told that an occasional pipe
helped digestion a third that he was IN
clined to corpulency and pulled at cigar, not
because he liked it, far from it, but with view
to discourage flesh fourth that his doctor
was of the opinion that tobacco was good for
the liver, and so on. BY the time the last cul.
prit's turn came,the regulation stock of excuses
was entirely exhausted and since it
against the policy of the scholars for any two of
them to adopt the same mitigating circumstance,
he was at loss for a moment what to say.
Then. gathering himself together for a desper-
ate eflort, he looked the old pcdagogue in the
eve and boldly remarked: smoke, sir for
my corns-I have bad buniOn on my left foot"
As he left school the next morning iii disgrace.
aching from the sound trouncng no had re-
ceived, and with a note in his pocket to his
father which entitled him to be soundly re-
trounccd when he got home, it occurred to him
that an excuse might be too poor.
1t is impossible to contemplate the Dem
Ocratic party at this time without recalling this
boy in all that he implies. The Democracy
has cast Civil Service reform beneath its feet
1t is hopelcssy divided on the tariff. What
them is it going into the campaign of 1884 for
What is its animatng purposef What great
purpose unites and inspires its membership
In short, what is Its excuse for beingY Dem
ocracy answers that it smokes fer Its corn that
il has bad buniOn on its left foot. True, it
does not frame its excuse Ill Just those words,
but what it has to offer comes to that. 1t wants
the country to understand that it is going into
this fght not for the Tariff, nor Civil Service re-
form, nor the currency, but to vndicate y the
old ticket! Under the direction of Mr.. Randall,
the Democrats of Pennsy ivania last week
announced that they were smoking for their
corns and buniOns this year. They clothed the
assertion in the folio wing able and impressive
language:
We believe that the Electoral fraud OF S767 by which
j
ont Of the offices Of President and vee-Presdent. TO
which they were fairly elected the most deadly blow
ever aimed at system OF representative government
and the duty Of driving from power the men and the
party who made that fraud triumphant is tho most
sacred OF legation imposed upon the conscences Of
free
There is nothing to indicate that this resOu-
ton was placed in the platform OF he Pennsyl-
vania Democratic State Convention as joke
In no report of the proceedings of the Conyen-
ton that we have seen are the words great and
long continued laughter" appended to theresa
luton in brackets. Shall we conclude, then,
that the finding of the Electoral COMMISSIONS
commission which the Democratic party helped
to creates in the opinion of the Democrats
u the most deadly blow ever aimed at our
system of representative governmcnt"2
By no means Democracy believes nothing of
the kind, or Tilden and Hendricks would have
been renominated four years ago. The fact that
they were not renominated proves that the
present frequent bursts of Democratic feeling
are simply so many false pretences. 1t is
clearly not in human nature that our DEM
ocratic friends should feel worse about Tilden
and Hendricks in 1884 than they did in 1880.
In $50 they found not the slightest difficulty
IN seJting inc oiu 'ohc' "''"o' inuoeu, not u
few of them jeered Mt it, and spit upon it. But
now they are going about with handkerchiefs
to their eyes and Grape on their left arms, sob
bling that they cannot sleep nights for thinking
of "the most deadly blow ever aimed at our
system of representative government" And
Oh that issue of stale wrath, warmed-over
Indignation and moth-eaten SACRED obliga-
ton they purpose to go before tho country.
To note this droll fact is to emphasize the
pitifu condition to which the Democratic party
| is reduced. 1t has gone into involuntary bank
ruptcy. 1t has lost whatever distinctive prin-
ciples it once professed and possesses little else
at present except the cowardice of its lack of
convictions. an appetite abnormally developed
by q quarter of a century Of fasting and