The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-02-16
A MOUSE IN THE ROOM.
sY STANLEY HuNrLhY.

are we going to do:"
 Il should judge from the width of your mouth that one of us was going 10 eat him " replied Mir. Spoopendyke, springing from his chair and grasping his cane. Where is he! Show him te me :" and Mir. Spoopendyke rattled around under the bed with his stick and then charged on the table. Haven't ye got any more arms you can stick out in different directions so as to give the approximate locality of that mouse?'
 There he is." yelled Mrs. Spoopen- dyke, turning her face to the corner and making desperate effort to climb up the wall. Don, you see him, Look out. He'll bite you .''
 If you can tell his sex from where you stand. he must be close by or dod-gasted big - growled Mir. Spoopendyke, glaring around the room and waving his cane on high. Come down off the parapet of this castle and lead me against ,he enemy, will ye! or have got 10 go out and borrow a directory 10 find him :: Where'd you see any mouse. anyhow :"
 Anyhow squealed Mrs. Spoonen- dyke, looking around cautiously and then springlng into chair. Gall police man Don't go near him We'll all be murdered in our beds."
 Look here roared Mir Spcopen- dyke, who had added a boot to his arma- ment. Let me smell your breath. Wha, have you been drinking lately: Going to give me some adequate idea of the haunts of that mouse. Where is he." and Mir. Spoopendyke whiIled around and smote right ard left with his imple- ments. Has he got door plate on his residence 10 indicate where he lives. Go- ing to si, up in that chair like frog on float until that mouse issues cards to show where he iransaets his business? If ye cdIf I taix odt his geCsrapn;. p0int your measiy finger at hum. will ye!"
 Cant you see him 7" gurgled Mrs. Spoopendyke, to whose distorted imagin- ation the mouse filled the whole room and lapped over There he is, Ow- Wv. Here he comes There he goes Whe-e-e-e
 NIT. Spoopendyke made lunge in the direction indicated by his wife's stony glare Of horror, got the cane between his legs and rolled unanimously into the closet.
 '' Do give the impression of having got him he yelled. as he looked out and saw his wife sliding up the back of he chair, like reversed avalanche. Does the view fror, your mountain fast ness appear to detect the crown of sue cess on the head of,his campaign against that dod-gasted mouse? Bring me twelve baskets for the fragments and Mir. spoopendyke bounded out of the closet and fired his boo, through the mirror. ' Got any more mice anxious to undergo the brief excitement of annihilalion Where
 There ae goes. Ho-o-o-e-e-e in- ,erruptcd Mrs. Spoopendyke, with a pro- lopged shriek.
 NIT. Spoopendyke looked around him with dazed eyes and spied the mouse for the hrst time.
 Whoop." he roared. as he plunged Tor the corner. What IS this see be. fore me, with the tail toward me: Now watch the triumph of genius over the ac- tivity of vermin.' and he banged his head against the wall as the mouse dart ed between his feet.
 He's climbing up the chair, Take him out. Scald him Burglars :" piped Mrs. Spoopendyke, with her knees in her neck and her hair on end.
 What's the matter up there" de. manded Mir. Spoopendyke. wrenchiny himself into sitting position and con- ,emplating his wife with an expression scarcely indicative of admiration. What'fe you doing up there thousand feet above the level of the sea, anyway: Got some kind of notion that you're a fancy sunset, haven't you. Think you i only need candle and an emetic 10 be an active volcano. don't you: Well. you don't Hi. there. Got you now. have l = and he made a dive under his wife's chair after the mouse. .. Got some kind of scientific impression that this | comblni,ion of mercantile intelligence. | known 10 the bank as Spoopendyke, isn't i to be relied on IS phenomenon in the role of ameteur rat trap. haven't you:" and Mir Spoopendyke gave d vicious lab 1 at the mouse with stick and found him- self stuck under the chair.
 Is he dead ?" asked Mrs. Spoopend, ke. watching the gyrstion of her husbands 1 limbs with pronounced solieitude.
 Get up howled Mir. Spoopendyke. i trying to eNtrioate himself Pull of | this measly chair before convert it into l tracts and begin to disseminate il among ! the eiamoting heathen Hear me. i Get" and with mighty effort. Mir. ! Spoopendyke upset the chair, bring ! ing his wife down on him like bundle. ! while the mouse went up the chimney. l " Ina; wha, ye wanted :" he demanded / as Mrs. Spoopeniyke struggled to her ! fee, and looked around for the foe. " Think you've accomplished your dod- gasted design on things: Got through i with your earthquake. or was this only a rehearsal =
 Did you hurt yourself, tear:'' asked ] Spoopendyke. still threading the reap pearance ot the mouse. You did spien- I dldly. really think you have scared | him away tor good"
 Do, do ye:" grinued Mr. Spoopen- dyke with horribly pleasant expression ot visage. = Had time since it happened | to think 1t all over. haven, ye. With | your celerity of thought and ability to