davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
Pooling a Maine schoolmaster

National Republican.
He was Maine schoolmaster, and had strayed
away from bevy of sightseers, and by some
mischance had drfted into the reporters gallery
of the Senate He caught on to- Virginia
correspondent, dyed-in the wool Democrat, who
hates beans and thinks brown sugar the most
perfect saccharine base for lnatutinal cocktail
The man from the northeastern corner of the re-
public said: Can you point out to me Senator
Butler, of South Carolina, the man who engi-
neered the Hamburg massacre?" The man from
The senator from Massachusetts had been called
to the chair, and was beaming pleasantly upon
the assembled wisdom. Mr.. Edmunds was sit
ting upon one of the lounges in the rear of the
chamber. That's him-the man with the bald
head and very gray beard, said the Virginian, as
he pointed his index finger straight at the Vice
president pro tenn The Maine man gorgonized
the benevolent features of the presiding officer
for full minute, and then said II might hev
known it; there's murder in every line of his
cOuntenanco"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
In His Lair.


sill down in my pleasant den this morning in
a cheerful frame of mind, with heart as light
as a cork. 1t is pleasant den this lonely lair
of mine. 1t makes visitor think of a night
mare. 1t is decorated after my own designs.
Whenever found anything too big to crowd into
adrawer or pigeon-hole nailed it on the wall
The door is my photograph album, wherein are
tackled the counterfeit presentments of all my
friends who have sent inc their miniatures.
Whatever the other members of the family alb
solutely refused to allow in any other room I
have nailed up on the walls of my lair l am no
niggard with nails When l nail small steel
engraving, unframed, to the wall the easiest
way to get that picture down is to pull the wall
away from it. The lair looks like household
scrap book. And think that is why l like it,
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
joaquin Millcr's Eccentricities.
Brooklyn Eagle.


The newspapers are making great ado about
the log cabin of Joaquin Miller. The fact that
the Child of the Sierras" prefers to live in a
cabin made ,of logs, with common clay pasted in
the cracks, rather than in seven story fiat has
interested several million people. The poet is a
deceptive man. One who reads his writings and
hears the gossip about him would expect to meet
primeval child of the forest, wandering around
the city clad in bear-skins and reticence They
would find Mr., Miller civilized man. When
he came to New York few years ago it is true
that he appeared in blue shirt with long vel
low hair flowing around his shoulders and a
struggling beard dropping to his waist. He
was somewhat erral.c then. l remember
once. in sudden freak, he engaged a negro
valet, who bore a striking resemblance to the
pugilist known as the Black Diamond This fell
low followed Mr.. Miller around like the ghost of
a blackened past 1t was said that Miller en-
ployed the powerful negro to hold his victims
while he read his poetry to them. This rumor
was never substantiated, however Mr. Miller
now wears his hair of reasonable length. He has
poetic cast of features, and wears the mustache
and imperial of a PTussian grenadier-if there
are any Prussian grenadiers. He is good ma
tured and clever, and never talks poetry unless
he has been dining late. To hear him converse
at his best one should casually remark that Nc
Kee Rankin-who stole of his pays--is
gentleman. The poet of the Sierras will rise
then and deliver himself of a few sentiments that
will blow the gas out and make the china dance
on the table
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
A LITTLE SPICE.

The Norristown Herald thinks the new novel,
He lis evidently a Latin temperance story
The equipotence of PLANETS is due to the
voices of great men. God has given me a voice
Joseph Cook
yes" sighed old Mrs. Gumbo. ''that accident
was horrible. When l read about it, it eXagge1-
ated me so that l couldn't decompose myself for
several hours
Overset from the Omnibus; Customer Ny
sir, you have for me new set of teeth inset.
Dentist-'I know" Customer-'You promised
to me, it should entirely so be as natural teeth.
teeth do to me intoerable pain" Dentist
well, so initiate they the better the nature"
New York pTorning Journal 1T is stated, !"
said a New York girl to Philadelphia young
lady as they gaZed with awe and admiration at
the towering form of Jumbo, that three times
around an elephants foot is exactly the measure
OF his height" so l understand. "Do You
think similar measurement around my foot
would equal my height" asked the New urll
girl. 81 certainly do but the calculation would
show that you are taller than Jumbo"
Life among the Mormons. -"NIy dear said a
Mormon wife to her husband. ~ should think
that you would be ashamed of yourself, flirting
with that Miss B. as you did in church to day. "
Flirting with herr he replied in establishment
why we have been engaged for more than
three months. It's all over town ''Oh, l beg
your pardon" said his wife, indifferently eff
you are engaged to her, / suppose it is all right.
When does the happy event occur}'-Ehiladel-
phia Call.
80 carry me, then" cried the fair coquette
ITO the land where never I've journeyed yet
Tothat shore
Where love is lasting and change unknown
And man is faithful to alone
Evermore"
''Co, seek that land for year and day;
AT the end of the time you Ii be still far away,
Pretty maid.
It's country unletered in map or in chart
'1is a country that does not exist, sweetheart
I'm aftad"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
Vegetarian Recipes,

A vegetarian community at Joyful, Gala. use
the following recipes, which may be found of in
terest:
Edenic Grania Two thirds oat greats, one
third cracked wheat, ground fresh every meal in
Il steel hand mill or coffee mill.
Edenc Salad.-One head of celery. two turn
Ups, one onion. one Chilli pepper. sliced and chop
ped fine in a choppng bowl; six spoonsful Of
olive oil, one teaspoonful mixed mustard, one
gill cider vinegar, or lime juice; salt to taste
VIII keep several days in cool place. This is
to be eaten with grania.
Edenic Fruit Cake An equal amount of ripe,
died peaches and rasins pounded fine, sepa-
rately in mortar. and mixed with grania.
Mould in the form of cake, and cut the Same
as any other cake. 1t will keep for six months
and improve with age.
Edenic Pudding. Two thirds grania, one
third grated almonds. pounded raisins; moisten
with liquor Of soaked dried peaches and flavor
with nutmeg
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

Gone to rest! So the people said,
As they laid her down in the earths embrace,
And left her alone with the other dead
Who slept in the ancient burialplace.
Gone to rest! But her work was done;
She could look on her tasks with joy and pride;
She had wrought with pain in the face of the sun
She had failed of the best, but she had tried.
She had failed of the best. poor beart-the best
Is kept for other worlds than this
There are failures here for the faithfulest;
The fairest buds of their blossoms miss.
Gone to rest All the care-worn brow
Is smooth at last, and the tired feet
Never again shall fail trow,
For the mothers mission is complete.
But the mother-love, so strong and deep,
The hottest power that comes from God,
Is a love that never goes to sleep
In the narrow bed beneath the sod.
Gone to rest! Where the old oaks wave
Their giant arms FER the sleepers fair,
And the vioets spring from each dear grave
And the daisies nod in the dewy air.
Arthur Wentworth Eaton.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

Interview with Miss Anthony.
The meanest thing that was ever said about
me" said Miss. Anthony who has been in Wash
ington for several weeks, twas in a Western pa
per- soon after our convention. 1t was story
about having poodle dog and carrying it in my
arms and it said that | took it to the conven-
speak it curled down at my feet. There isn't a
word of truth in it,
Have you got dog"
mo, and never had one. Inever even spoke
to one"
But did the President squeeze your handl7
II must tell you how that happened. When 1
had finished my speech to him at the White
House that day he said in the politest manner
possible that he believed the women ought to
have whatever they wanted. l said. Let's shake
hands on that, Mr.. President and he took hold
of my hand and held it while he was making his
reply. But it was only minute or So
but did he squeeze it,"
He didn't squeeze it bit That was all there
was to it."
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
Song.

There is ever a song somewhere, my DEAR
There is ever a something sings Away;
There's the song of the lark when the skies clear
And the song of the thrush when the skies are gray
The sunshine showers across the grain,
And the bluebird trills in the orchard tree
And in and out when the caves drip rain,
The swallows are tvittering ceaselessly.
THERE'S ever song somewhere, my dear;
Be the skies above dark or fair,
There is ever a song that our hearts may hear
There is ever . song somewhere, my dear
There is ever a song somewhere!
There is ever a song somewhere, my dear;
In the midnight black or the midday blue
The robin pipes when the sun is here,
And the cricket chirrups the whole night through
The buds may blow and the fruit may grow,
And the Autumn leaves drop crisp and serej
But whether the sun, or the rain, or the snow,
There is ever song somewhere, my dear.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
wattersOns Game of Poker in indianapolis.


1 heard the other night story about Waiter
son. Not long ago he was in indianapolis
There he sat down to game of poker with
Dick" Bright who was recently Sergeant-at-
arms of the Senate. and the president of the city
horse railroad. Watterson had great luck The
money rolled in upon him When he was about
s., 600 ahead he began to think how he would
spendi.. Il will ride home in the best hack this
s., 900 in winnings Twill drive to my hotel with
four white horses, and a darkey leading each
one was his exultant announcement. From
that moment his luck turned Every cent in his
pile was gone, and his poeketbook began to look
thin. The railroad president fumbled in his
pocket. Taking out ticket, he passed it
across the table, Here, Watterson, you said you
should ride home. Put that in your pocket, and
you can Watterson walked and still keeps the
car ticket as reminder of the night the Hooser
stIanned him.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
The Yet To BE.

I stand on the threshold, plainly see
The glorious things of the yet to be-"
What prophet, priest and sage has told,
In theme and rhyme and sermons old,
Flame out On my vision grand and free
As sing in joy Of the yet to be"
When man is purged of passions fire,
And his soul is great with high desire,
To be like heroes and sages old
In the blessed time in the age of gold;
Woman, free from her longworn chain,
Entered her high estate again;
Mother crowned with a blessed crown
That fadeth not no leaves turned brown;
Then son and sire will joy to see
The queen that is the yet to be-"
When war is over, and love untold
Will fill the heart--no thirst for gold
VIII coil and sting like serpent there,
In the time of bloom in land SO fair.
Where unveiled eyes VIII plainly see
Gods rule of Love in the yet to be-"
Elizabeth SaxoI
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
A SCRAP OF sMALL-TALK.
Illustrating What Rowling Wilderness the
Mind Of the Averagc DnndY Is.

aihu Oh the Average DANDY Is.
Robert J. Burtette in Brooklyu Eagle
'Whas alls talk bout that Texas fellah and
this Lasker business" asked one of our best
young men as he stood with his friends inhaling
the maddening fumes of the destroying cigarette
long silence followed, which was at length
broken by the best young man who makes a liv.
ing by sucking the head of cane, After pom
derlng the question fully fora long time he said:
What Lasker v talkin bout"
The first best young man was evidently an
noyed by the question. He looked sadly at his
toothpck shoes, hoping for some inspiration
from them, but none came. He sighed heavily,
cast an appealing glance toward the well-in-
formed best young man, who remained silent,
however, and the first speaker replied:
Sam Lasker-felah that got into trouble
with Texas fcllah-Doubiluree was Texas fell
lahs name, blieve Some kind of-er all
trouble, JleiveH
The eyes of all the best young men now turned
toward the well-infoumed best Young man. lie
was always looked up to in political discussions,
because he once drew salary in the Custom
house for doing something or other-he had for
gotten what it was that he did in the Custom
house, but he did it for several years. In answer
TO the glances bent upon him IN mute but intel
ligcnt inquiry, the well informed best young man
said:
''Aw-yaas; l know l said at the time thered
be trouble Said when Secretary Steward"
who's he secretary of" asked the best Young
man. whose mother takes in washing.
Dash if | know said the well-informed best
young man, after painful silence ''sOme club
or othah-lve just forgotten what. Well, said
when Secretary Steward bought Alasker from
the Pr oosians-said then Bismarck make trouble
bout it some day, n so he has,"
Who'd he buy it for asked the best young
man who generously allows his sister, who
teaches school, nearly one-half her salary.
Don't know said the well-informed best
young man. "'Spect wanted to build on it."
And the best young man wandered on to
place that sold scented cigarettes.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
Strangled.

There is legend in some Spanish book
About noisy reveler who at night
Returning home with others, saw light
Shine from window, and climbed up to look
And saw within the room, hanged to hook
His own seh-stranged self, grim rigid, white,
And who, struck sober by that livid sight,
Feasting his eyes, in tongue-tied horror shook
Has any man a fancy to peep in
And see, as through window, in the past
His nobler self, selfchoked with coils of sin,
Or sloth or felly2 Round the throat whipped fast
The moses give the face stiffened grin.
Tis but myself Look well. Why be aghastl
e. Lee Hamilton.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
THREE POEMS BY JAMES W. RILEY
Written in Burners "Airs from Already"

Written in Burners "Airs from Already"
o, ever gracious Airs from Already!
What lack is there of any jocund thing
In glancing wit or glad imagining
Capricious fancy may not find in thee?-
The laugh of Momus, tempered daintily
To ull the ear and lure its listening
The whistled syllabes the birds of spring
Flaunt ever at guessings what they bel
The wood the seashore, and the changing town
The pets of fashion, and the ways of SUCH
The robe de chambre and the russell gown;
The lordlings carriage, and the pilgrims cruteh--
From hale old Chaucers wholesomeness, clean down
To our artistic Dobsons deftest touehl
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

They parted, with clasps of hand,
And kisses, and burning tears;
They met in a foreign land
After some twenty years.
Met as acquaintance meet,
Smiling, tranquil-eyed;
Not even the least little beat
OF the heart upon either side.
They chatted on this and that,
The nothiuss which make up life;
She in a Gainsborough hat.
And he in black, for his wife.
All, what comedy this
Neither was hurt, it appears;
Yet once she had leaned to his kiss
And once he had known her tears.
Thomas Bailey Aldrch.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
The Wisdom OF Simplicity.

Vermont PhWulN,
Persons sometimes get answers they don't ex-
pect even from children. One of them was
questioning Sunday school class about the man
who fell among thieves on the way from Jerusa-
lem to Jericho Bringing the story to a point,
he asked: Nov, why did the priest and Levite
pass by on the other side!" A scholar held up
his hand well, my boy, why did the priest
pass by on the other sidel7 81 know" said tho
lad; because the man was already robbed"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
"Cordaroy" Poetry.

NEVER Talk BACK.
Never talk back such things is Teprehensible
A Teller only eorks hssef that jaws ID man that's
hot
In quarrel eff you'll only keep your mouth shet and
he sensible
The man that does the talkin II git worsted every
shotl
Never talk back to a Teller that's abusin' you
Jest let him carry on, and rip and erss and SWEAR
And when he finds his lynn and his damrnin S jest
arnusin you,
You've got him clean kaAummixed and you want to
hold him therel
Never talk back, and wake up the whole community,
And call a man liar, howsomever that's his fix
You can lift and land him frder and with gracefuler
impunity
With one good jolt of silence than half a dozen
kicks
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
1t Must Have Been a Cold Day.

Chlcag0 NeWs -
Did you lose this strap misterl'
He was small, ragged boy, with a Clean
new school strap in his hand, who asked this
question behind Mr. P, of Aurora, near
the Union Depot in this city yesterday after
noon
Mr.. P glanced around to see if anybody
was looking
''Ah, thank you. my boy Here's a quarter
for your honesty, and he tucked the school strap
in his spacious overcoat pocket.
cts a cold day when l get left, said Mr. P
to himself, as he walked away wondering who
really had lost the strap.
Dot vas goot SALE said the street fakir
when the boy came back to buy another school
strap for five cents.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
The Alcohol OF Egotism.

Philadelphia Record
1t was Coleridge who described intense selfish
ness as THE alcoholof egotism.7 But it was re-
served for Colonel Tom Ochitree to make in tho
American Congress ahappy and original apphca-
ton of the phrase to the Foremost statesman Of
Europe. 1t must be said of Ochiltree that he
has none of the weaknesses of Bismarck His
egotismi is of d very different sort.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

Detroit Free Press.
A life insurance agent who had been working
up a considerable business in Fort Scott Kan,
was one day approached by tough looking Gus
toner who wanted to take out S., 600 policy.
He inquired about the cost and other particulars,
and finally remarked
well. stranger, when you kin put the figures
down about one-half you kin send for me-
ooh, couldn't do that"
"Mebbe, not, but them's my terms"
When the man had departed, the agent went
out to inquire who he was, and citizen re
Piled
Why, that's Bill Callahan, What did he
wantl"
Wanted some insurance at half rates"
"Give it to him."
an see him hanged first! Why should 1 make
a reduction himl'
Because you've got insurance on at least
twenty of us here, and if you don't come to
Bills figures he'll kill a full dozen of us before
the year is out! Better consult the interests of
the company and makea reduction"
The next day William had policy on which a
shakepurse paid the first premium
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
Loves Creed.

hold one simple faith throughout the days
That on slowly to an unknown enal-
A faith which glorifes the darkest ways
That lead me TO my friend.
] may not understand the reason why
Some things are hidden which fam would see;
My faith-the faith by which live or die
Is still enough for me.
And thus 1t is am content to wait
For fear and questioning to doubt belong;
Love knows but this, and proves it, or late
The King can do no wrongl
Dorothy Folroyd
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

WHEN the blood becomes disordered by the
poisonous and acrid humors of disease the joints
and muscles of the body are frequently the me-
dunn by which this condition of the system is
made known. The sufferer from rheumatism
and neuralgia will gladly learn that Athlophoros
the new specific goes to the seat of disease
drives these foreign substances from the blood
and puts an end to pain. Less than one bottle
effected cure in the case of Mr. William P.
Cowan, of Trenton, Mo.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
Both There.
Boston Post


''You should not have stayed away so long
into his seat ten minutes after the ring up of the
second act
ooh! Er-excuse mel met my old friend
Tom in the foyer, and
WAS Jerry there, tool' was her artess inter
ruption as she turned her attention to the stage.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

Philadelphia Call,
Mrs Blank-Of course you are not happy
You would not be happy with an angel
Mr. Blank-We shall see.
Mrs Blank-See! When!
Mr. Blank-When | go to heaven.
Mrs. Blank-Oh SO you really think you
could be happy in heaven, do you9
MIR. Bank-Yes, my dear.
Mrs. Blank-And why!
Mr. Blanll-In heaven there is no marrying
and giving in marriage.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

feetly right, considering the dangerous lives
those poor men lead Still it's great pity
why what do you mean We'll. don't you
see this item about ii preacher getting into
trouble for marrying a minor"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05
A Fine Hair DRESSING,

CocoArE dresses the hair perfectly and is
also preparation uncqualed for the eradication
of dandruff.
The superiority OF BUENETr's FLAvoRGNG Ex-
TRACTS consists in their purity and great
! strength.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-04-05

Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
81 am glad to see that no coal digger can set
wife, said Pittsburg lady, yesterday Its per