The National tribune., 1884-09-04
TRIBUNETS.

Now the mules are going mad They have al
ways acted as if they were tribe out of hunor %
say the least
Beware of green fruit, - an exchange remarks
very seasonably, THE fruit can not help being
green, but you can"
Now baseball IS the great American pastime.
Gen. Sherman acted as umpire for a game the
other day. Wen bet that anybody that undertook
to =" sass" that umpire got sick of the job.
Louisville Courier-JournaI: A Colorado baby
obituary: " The wise little bit Of humanity came
into existence, looked about it, that the world
was bitter and bad and then toddled back to ths
gentle arms Of the white Christ from whence 10
came"
The Judge: My boy, never deluds yourself with
the belief that there is nothing In this world
than your weak eyes have discovered. You mighs
as well believe, when IN mid-ocean, that there Ia
no land anywhere, because you can see nothing
but water around you
They know quite as much about =" cold tea . In
the French Assembly as IN the American Con-
gress During the recent session the French law
makers drank 1900 quarts Of beer 500 of brandy,
and 3,oOO miscellaneous" There seems to be work
there for Congressional Temperance Society.
Robert Bonnerthinks that it is not at all unlikely
that horse wiz be developt which viii trot inside
of 200. When that glad time shall have coma
Robert hopes to be allowed to get a leave of alb
senee from the heaven TO which he has IN ths
meantime been translated and come back to earth
for spell of real enjoyment
A man entrusted with naval vessel Ike fell.
low chased by bull, ought TO have the faculty Of
deciding very quickly. The trouble with the CON-
nlander of the TailapOOsa seeElzto have been that
he could not at the moment decide whether hs
wanted TO go to the right or the left His is what
we might call too well-balaneed mind.
Boston Transcript; DO you know, Uncle John
why you are ike your horsee" asked Ella, whs
had been pestered by her avuncular relative in
gard to her young man Uncle John (who cOnsid-
ers himself q great fellow among the fair sex3-
Because I'm alittle fast, Isnppose. Ha. ha hat"
Ella No, Uncle John; it is because you inter-
fere''
Lucky Baldwin, the San Francisco millionaire,
who is 6I grandfather and as sapless as the ress
of the fast high-ving rich men of the Pacific Coast
having got himself about everything else that un-
limited wealth purchase, has added girl-wifs,
She is A. feet high and years old but looks with
her short dresses and her bEaaids hanging down heI
back, as if not more than Il. One difference be-
tween this country and Turkey is that such old
fellows legally own but Of these girls at
time.
The cholera brings trouble 20 the tramps even,
who are usually superior the Ills that descend on
less favored mortals. Near Marseilles of these
wandering gentlemen was found lying upon the
fragrant road amid the sweet flowers. enjoying
that profound siumber which attends upon quiet
mind. easy conscience. life in the open AIR, and
hide fun of brandy.
Clearly case of cholera, said the panic-sfruek
Mayor of the little village who called upon 70
view she case. We must act eaeFgeetieally"
Whereupon they saturated the poor sramp's
clothes with disinfectanss filed his mouth falI OF
chloride OF liIne and then buried him under thres
eet OF good solid clay.
'We distinctly heard 10 groan and kick at the
coffin id,'' said the scared gravediggers. who
breathlessly to the Mayor. Perhaps it was nos
dead
Never you mind" said the official. BY this
prompt action may escape the cholera"
But such little accidents these will tend 10
make tranlping less attractive pursuit.