The Londonderry sifter. (South Londonderry, Vt.) 1883-19??, 1884-12-11
HUMOROUS.
-.Gustin DoJson.
'otlle5 observer-Tailors.

Clothes ObServer-IallorS.
With Patti the making of $1,000 Il
mere song
Excuse the girl who eloped with her
coachman-"I was driven to it"
a Bostcn firm advertises "shoes for
elopem2nt" They don't squeak.
\ MA with cold in his head is
like waterfall. He is catarrh-racked.
The United States Mint is the only
business place which can make money
without advertising.
To keep apples from decaying put
them in cool place-where there is
large family Of children.
In Thibet a woman may have four
husbands. In this country it is as
much us a woman can do to cut wood
for one.
Some one asks how the great men
of this country began life. We are
under the impression that they gener-
ully began life as infants.
"Buttons are coming in again"
says an exchange. Jones, who fastens
his suspenders to his trousers with a
5hingle nail, says, "It's about time.
They have been coming off long
enough"
1t is hopeless for short man to
ever expect to be tall man, but tall
man can easily become short man.
This fact is so obvious that it is scarce
ly worth mentioning.
The most depressing news we have
had for a long time is the report thaf
Asiatic cholera and Oscar Wilde will
reach America next year. Strict quar-
antine regulations against Oscar should
be enforced.
There was man once on time who thought
him wond'rous wise,
He swore by all the flbIed gods he'd never
advertise.
But the goods were advertised ere long, and
thereby hangs tale,
The ad. was set in nonparoil, and headed
"Sherifs Sale"
The author of the "Story of a Coun-
try Town" is spoken of as the coming
novelist; but then any photographer
could write thrilling story of coun-
try town if he would take the trouble
to listen at the keyhole when sewing
society meets.
An Illinois lady is said to have col
lectcd string Of buttons twenty-four
feet long. This accounts for so many
men in the state with their suspenders
attached to their pants with a shingle
nail.
Cannibal king to missionary: 81
think that the best thing can do is
eat you" Missionary Gin earnest pro-
test): Il do not agree with you, SIR
CanniLAl king: "Well, 1 mustn't eat
anything that doesn't agree with me-"
Mistress: 81 ress:'ly cannot put up
with your voracious appetite any
longer, James. Why, even the beasts
of the field know when they've had
enough, but you never do" James:
please, m. you never tIied me-"
"Why don't you go to work ?" said a
charitable lady the other day to
tramp, before whom she had placed
nicely cooked neal 81 would" re-
piled the vagrant. "if l had the tools"
"What sort of tools do you want?:'
asked his hostess. "a knife and fork"
In Egypt they have an original way
of avenging and insult and restoring
self-respeet. If dragoman hcks
camel-driver the camel-driver does not
resent it, but thwacks the donkey-soy,
and the donkey-boy beats the donkey
to restore his sense of self-reSpect and
the donkey kicks dog, and then the
fracas is settled.
A cynical old bachelor, who firmly
believes that all women have some
thing to say on all subjects, recently
asked a female friend: "Well,
madame, what do you hold on this
question of female suffrage?" To him
the lady responded calmly: 'Sir, L
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