davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Press., 1884-05-29
WESTERN BEEF.

The New York butchers find it very hard to reconcile themselves to the thew depar- ture' of having western dressed-beef sent to the eastern markets in refrigerator cars, instead of sending the live cattle to them, to be butchered by themselves. It is a sort of competition that they are not pre- pared to meet, and, finding that it greatly interferes with their profits in various ways, they have made united effort to destroy the trade in western dressed meat. Their latest effort is an appeal to the labor unions of New York City to join in boy cotting those who sell any meat that is butchered outside of the city slaughter houses. This appeal is made to the preju- dices of those to whom 1t is addressed, on the untenable ground that the western dressed-meat business is a foreign monop- ely, and is calculated to break down a long established and legitimate home busi- ness. They also had it necessary to as- sert that which is notoriously untrue, namely, that the western meat is inferior in quality and unfit for food.
 It may possibly occur to the beef-con 1sumers of New York City and other east ern cities whose people are paying from twenty to thirty cents pound for good cuts of meat, that these butchers are ask ing little too much, and that they have an interest in cheaper beef themselves They can hardly: afford to boycott those butchers who sell them good, wholesome beef, slaughtered in Kansas City, Omaha or Chicago, and sent to them as fresh Q 2 daisy, merely for the sake of benefttine the local butchers, keeping up prices and adding to the expense of their own living The complaint that the meat is inferior il quality is simply nonsense, as everybody ought to know, for it is the beef of wester1 cattle, and the meat IS better if the cattle are killed there than if it is killed after in, steers are transported thousand miles by rail suffering from hunger, thirst and fe vef. Most likely the west will continue te have monopoly of the cattle-growins business for some time to come, and tn, dressed-beef trade will continue to increas, and flourish until meats of all kinds will b. much cheaper in all the eastern cities thar it now is, the protest of the New York butchers to the contrary, notwithstanding -ChieaCo Joa77eal.
The Press., 1884-05-29
MODES OF SALUTATION.

A French traveller reports that every race among whom he has soiourned has its own salutation, not excepting the great Yankee nation. He informs us that, how ever 8 few polite and Europeanized Ameri- cans may salute one another, the charac- teristic national salute is, "Hellor'
 We fear he is right. The telephone is accused of having fastened the stigma up- on us but in truth the telephone boy only adopted word already familiar to all boys and most men.
 The Arabs say on meeting, "A fine morning to you!'
 The Turks say, with dignifed gravity, "God grant you His blessings !' The Persian salutation is familiar to all the world from its comic quaintness /: "May your shadow never grow less! p The Egyptian is a practical man. He ing sun, and, accordingly, when he meets his fellow, he asks, ''How do you sweat ?''
 The reader is probably aware that in those low attitudes all is we'll with labor CT as long as he perspires freely.
 The good Chinaman loves his dinner. 'How are you dgesting?" he kindly in quires, on meeting a friend.
 The Greeks, who are keen men of busi- ness, close bargainers, ask one another, ''How are you getting on ?"
 The national salutation of Naples was formerly, 'FGrow in gracei" At present, in all parts of Italy, they use a phrase equivalent to fHow are you?"
 The Spaniards say, "How are you pass ing it ?"
 The French, "How do you carry your self ?''saA --a -. The Germans, ssHow does it go?"
 The Dutch, How lo you travel ?''-''''A
 The Swedes, "How ca'a you ?" meaning "Are you in good ayigor?"
 The Russian, ''Be well?"
 The English-speaking races, in addition to the juvenile and telephonic ''Hello ? say, "How are you?" and "How do yo1 do p -a
 We also take off the hat, shake hands embrace, bow and kiss, as in other clime people rub noses, touch foreheads anC take off their shoes.
 The American in Italy is surprised to see men embrace and kiss each other, as in Bible lands.
 The Italians in turn look upon our hanC shaking as cold and ridiculous, the bob bing up and down ol the arm having nc meaning whatever in their view.
 The touching of the tips of gloved fin fers, if more graceful than hand shaking must also seem to people of the east a professional and expressionless.
 < The bow, as mark of respect, is a GUS tom used by nearly all nations, and ont that had it's origin in ancient times.
The Press., 1884-05-29
HOW TO KEEP HIM HOME NIGHTS.

A few days ago Detroit wife was read ing newspaper article which tckled her almost to death. It was entitled: "How to keep your husband at home, ,. and it was about the Troy wife who turned the sitting room into 8 saloon and thus wed ded her husband to his home and keep him in nights.
 The Detroit wife cackled and grinned and cackled again, and vowed that she'd follow the plan to the last detail. That evening, when her husband had finished his supper and was making Q rush for his hat togo down and see man on $100, 900 worth. of business, the cxultant wife led him into the library. There was sawdust on the floor, six big spittoons artistically arranged around the room and a bar on which rest ed half @ dozen bottles of beer and SUD- ply of beer glasses.
 My angel wife, may heaven bless you !'' exclaimed the husband, as he look ed around him and took in all the details Then he walked around and expector- ated in each spittoon, and he walked up to the bar and swore like trooper and called for beer. When he had drank it he kick ed over the chairs and said he was just as good as Vanderbilt or any other man. When he had imbibcd some more beer he kicked over the bar and broke the bottles, and, as soon as his wife began to talk pol itics he blacked her eye and went in to clean out the place. When the neighbors finally got the man quilted down things were endwise and crosswise all over the house, while half the neighboTnood were hunting for a fire alarm box and the other half for the police When the hystericky wife had finally explained her plan to the mob filling the parlor the husband sat up on end amid the wreck and waved his fists about and shouted:
 ''You beg your booz Nicesz s'loon in zhis town Nicesz wife in R'troit Every body come up'n driz at my 'spense ! Whoop Wherever man who wants 'er run out nights !'-Detroit Free Press.
The Press., 1884-05-29
Issued Every Thursday Evening.
CONTRIBUTED AXE GRINDING ON THE POLITICIAN.

knew politician once,
 Who seemed so very kind, thought him either knave or dunce, Who had an axe to grind. So bland, so courteous, so cool Twas plain to my own mind, That he was hypocrite or fool, Or had some axe to grind. It always touched his tender heart, To have the poor maligned, Especially, if he had part, In some old axe to grind. Election day found him astir Against the storm, or wind Early or late, he would prefer, His own dull axe to grind. This politician want alone Among the human kin1, For all have business of their own Each has his axe to grind. The major part of all who live .A Are very much inclined, To turn a penny-or to give To those who axes grind. The poor will always be oppressed, If they will Ego it blind !"- There's now and then one self-possessed Who has no axe to grind.
 J. L. CLoUGI
The Press., 1884-05-29
t'Maryiand, My Maryland.': ,:
"Pretty wives and Lovely daughters

LONcly uduSHtClS'
 My farm lies in rather low and miaslnat- ic situation, and
 'My wife!
 ''Who?"
 .''Was very pretty blonde!" --'t I Twenty years ago, became
 ''SalloW !"
 "Hollow-eyed!
 Withered and aged !"
 Before her time, from
 "Malarial vapors though the she made no particular complaint, not being of the grumpy kind, yet caused me great uneasiness. "A short time ago I purchased your remedy for one of the children, who had very se- we're attack of biliousness, and it occurred to me that the remedy might help my wife, as found that our little girl upon recovery had | 'Lost'' .,s.. --- "A ...s-.E --- ''Her sallowness, and looked as fresh as a new blown daisy We'll the story is soon told. My wife to-day has gainedh her old-time beauty with compound interest, and is now as handsome matron (if I do say it myself, as can be found lh this country, WHICH ls noted for pretty women. And l have only Hop Bitters to thank for it.
 ''The dear creature just looked over my shoulder and says, T can fatter equal to the days of our courtship,' and that reminds me there might be more pretty wives if my broth CT farmers would do as I have done.'
 Hoping you may long be spared to do good thankfully remain,
 Most truly yours, r C.L. JAMES. BELTsv1LLE, Prince George Co.,, Md,l } N May 26th, 1883. \ ltssffs8Eta
The Press., 1884-05-29

HoRsFoRD's FRENCH ROLLS. .-One quart sifted flour, loosely measured, little salt, one measure each of acid and soda Cor two heap ino teaspoonfuls acid and one moderataly heaping teaspoonful soda) Of Horsfords Bread Praparation. Mix thoroughly while dry. Then add enough sweet milk, or milk and water, to makesa slack dough. Roll out thin and cut into circular pieces with teacup or cutter then put small lump of butter into the center of each piece and fold the dough over it like turnovers. Bake immediately.
The Press., 1884-05-29

TIME TO STOP Ir.-Its too bad, Sir or Mad am, but don't get frightened. Your hair is falling off-that's certain. A glance in the mirror, or an investigating committee of fin gers tell the dismal story. We won't discuss the possible cause. It is enough that Parker's Hair Balsam used now will prevent further destruction. Is your hair somewhat gray, too, and crisp? Alas, yes. The Balsam will give back the original color, softness and gloss. Not dye, not oily, elegantly perfumed, perfect dressing,
The Press., 1884-05-29
New YGrk and Nc V England K. K, Time Table

... P:n1. Pn, pm. pam Additional trains leave Hartford for Bristol-S a5 d. m. 4.25 pm. Return 6O5 LOS a. m., and 545 D. m. Hartford for Rockville-7.15. 9.2O a. m., 1915. 4.45, 6.15, 7.45 p. m. Rockville for Hartford-5.55, 72o, g. 30 a. m.
 1.15, 2.30, 4.3O, 7.3O pm.
 WILLIM ANTIC PRovIDENcE, WiIimantic.for Providence-7.45, 10.40 am. $50 m. Providence for Willimantic-645, 10. 80 a.m 80 m, aDaily- A. c. KENDALL. Gen. Pass. Agt:
The Press., 1884-05-29

A camel will work for seven or eight days without drinking. In this he differs from some men, who will drink seven or eight days without working.
The Press., 1884-05-29

THE WONDER OF MEN.-Palmer's Rheumat- 1 ic and Neuralgia Remedy is not St. Jacobs,
 St. Joseph's, nor indeed any relation of any of these so-called departed saints. It is blessing to the human race, however, and
 does what no other precaution has ever done
 before. It will permanently cure those who
 suffer the excruciating agonies of rheumatism and Neuralgia.
The Press., 1884-05-29
Volume 27. Elnher 9.

OLD MEN's DARL1Nes. A French phil osopher with leaning to statistics has taken great deal of pains to find out the countries of Europe in which divorce is most common, and has succeeded in pre- pairing table that will be found interest ing by those who devote attention to such matters. One of this inquisitive persons
 ,lleged discoveries has an unique attrac- ton, inasmuch as 1t seems to supply some sort of proof that European women are apt to give practical application to the oft-quoted line: s'I'd rather be an old mans darling than young mans slave. " The philosopher says that out of every 1000 divorces obtained, lS4 are granted to persons between whose sages there is merely the usual difference, but that of girls who are twenty five Or more years younger than their husbands there are only 10 who obtain dlvorces to the 1000 granted. This is cheering, or ought to be, te. the bachelor who, being in the ''sere and yellow leaf, has rashly abandoaed ali hopes of matrimony. If the philosophic person is to be believed, he is just the man the girls want And then the post-nupital prospect is so delightful. Peace and har- mony must be written over the portals wherein May and December dwell.
The Press., 1884-05-29

W. H. Doane, telegrapher at the nickel plate office at Gainesville, Ohio, went on the bridge over Grand river recently to re. pair the line. By misstep he fell thro' the trestle-work and fell into the water, lOS feet below He swam to the shore and walked to the nearest house, where a carriage was obtained and he was convey ed home. No bones were broken, but it is feared that he is hurt internally. His clothes were literally torn into shreds by the force of his fall against the water.
The Press., 1884-05-29

To preserve fruit it is only necessary to seal it up so that the son and heir can't get at it.
The Press., 1884-05-29

A penny is very little thing, but the in terest on it from the days df Cain and Abel would buy out the globe.
The Press., 1884-05-29

A PooR MANs CoNFIDENCE.-The loss of time to many Rheumatic sufferer is worse agony than the disease. The remedy which is prompt and efficacious is his only real ben efactor. Says MT. F. Smith, of 622 s. 9th st., Phila. -. T suffered 50 much frUm Rhoa- matism without prospect of relief, that bor- rowed the money to buy bottle of Athlopho ros After seven doses had not sharp pain or ache. Have been at work ever since. It is all that it is claimed for it, and will prove a sovereign balm for many poor suffering soul"
The Press., 1884-05-29

DoN'T GIVE Ir UP So.-"Oh! if I had only known that in time." Known what? 'Known that simple cold in the head may develop into chronic Chtarrh." Well, it isn't too late, for Ely's Cream Balm will cure catarrh even after the sufferers life has become a burden to him, and he nuisance to his. friends. It it the only radical and thoroughly scientific catarrh cure known. Not snuff. Not a liquid. Applied to the nostrils with the fin ger Price fifty cents.
 DoN'T DEsPAIR.-If you are weak and weary from some so-called chronic disease, do t give up. Sulphur Bitters has given hope to many invalids, where hitherto there was noth- ing but despair. It will build up and renew your whole system. Editor Weekly American.
The Press., 1884-05-29

EVERYBODY LIKES to be called handsome, especially the young ladies. But that is sim ply impossible as long as their face is cover ed with pimples, blotches and sores. But wait, there is no need of this; one or two bot ties of Sulphur Bitters will remove all such disfgurations, and make your face fair and rosy.- .-Fannie Bell, Editress.
The Press., 1884-05-29

When Baby was. sick, we gave her Castoria, When she was Child, she cried for Castoria, When she was a Miss, she chung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria.
The Press., 1884-05-29

Taxation is said to bear equally on all classes, from the fact that it hardly presses on the rich and presses hardly on the poor.
The Press., 1884-05-29

A bent pin on chair is an indication of an early spring.
The Press., 1884-05-29

AFTER AN INSANE MAYA resident of Wethersfield, Stanley by name, secured, a short time ago, position as keeper at the insane retreat in this city, and notified his parents, living in Massachusetts, that here after they might address him at the re- retreat. They It ceived this information as gentle intimation that he had become insane and, not wishing to disturb him by painful meeting, although recognizing the necessity of ascertaining his exact con- dltion, sent the young mans brother-in- law down to inquire and report. While performing some duty attached to his po- sition MT. Stanley was pleased to behold his brother-in-law, who had obtained ad- mission to the retreat on the sole plea that he wanted to see him. There had been no conversation between the visitor and the officers concerning the relation the keeper bore to the institution, so that the delu- sion was still ill force The brother-in-law inquired after his health very solicitously and was quite anxious to know how he liked the place. To all inquiries satisfac- tory answers were returned until at length the brother-in-law said timidly: Don't you want to go home with me ?" "Go home," inquired the astonished keeper, satisfied with his work and wages, ewhy should I go home p "Oh, for nothing in particular, as I know of'' replied the wis., itor, accreditiug the reply to some insane freak, "only I thought you might like it better, that is all." "Why should I? I have a good position here" ."Position Then you are not insane ?" "Insane? Who said I was insane? Of course I am not; l am keeper, not an inmate ?" There were additional mutual explanations, and The minister plenipotentiary from Massa- chusetts returned not with an insane broth in law but with the best of reports con- cerning his worldly prosperity. | ford Post ...
The Press., 1884-05-29

The New Haven Register has bridge port correspondent who tells about a Bridgeport boy with a head for figures. The correspondent produces the following "The father thrust his hand into barrel of beans, took handful. and threw them down in g corner, where they lay scattered about. The lad leaped into the air and, almost before the beans had touched the floor, shouted I,768.' The beans were carefully gathered and counted and while this was being done the boy grinned and waited. The result showed him to be cor rect to bean. He relapsed into his usual sleepy manner again. The father then seized 8 handful of oats and threw them in heap upon the counter. Paul" said he, 'how many oats ? The boy again jumped to his feet, devoured the oats mentally, and instantly shouted. 2. S30'"
The Press., 1884-05-29

Sweet are the uses of diversity, but most people prefer sugar.
The Press., 1884-05-29
A missed ache-an extracted tooth.


 The universal verdict, "The Hop Plaster is the best porous plaster ever made" Only 25 cts.
 Hartford Post A gay and festive party of fox hunters, decorated with rosettes and eashes, rode through Norwich's main street yesterday morning, led by bugler. The club went over into the town of Franklin, where one squad mistook an Alderney calf for fox and bagged it in splendid shape. HoRsFoRD's BREAD PREPARATION requires less shortening than any other baking powder or yeast. Try it. 9
 Sponge cake is cake made with borrowed eggs.
 QUAKER BITTERs are as unlike any other preparation as they are superior to all other medicines. The materials, methods, and pro- portions of the compound are the result of the long and successful experience of phar- macist used to putting up. prescriptions for many years. Every article is warranted pure and unadulterated.
The Press., 1884-05-29

| Beautiful hair from the earliest days of the creation has been glorious ornament to wo- man and blessing to man. All will obtain this result by using freely Palmer's Hair Ton 1 ic and Restorer.
The Press., 1884-05-29

REGULARS. of the strongest proofs of the value of Kidney Wort s a remedy for all diseases of the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, is the fact that it is used and prescribed by regular physicians. Phqip C.. Ballou, M. D., of Monkton, Vt., says:t Flake it all in all, it is the most successful remedy have ever used" ,s, Fl
 A California lady hassa pair of scissors which have been used by eerself and mother for seventy-six years. No Newspaper man in that family.
The Press., 1884-05-29

Oh, "the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rules the world; And the hand that feels buzz saw Is the hand that will get hurled; And the hand that shirks the shovel Is the hand the farmer hires; And the hand that fools with matches Is the hand that kindles fires; And the hand that picks up horseshoes In smithy will get hot; But the hand that holds four aces Is the hand that ''scoops the pot"
 -NeD Fork .l0arnal
The Press., 1884-05-29
Boston and Albany Railroad. Time Table,

.. - C.F.SPAULDING, Sup7t. New London, Conn.,, March 3l, 1884.
The Press., 1884-05-29

Pennsylvania girls consider an oily kiss quite petroleum yum.
The Press., 1884-05-29

Oil City Derrick; Its name will probably be changed to the Submarine bank.
The Press., 1884-05-29

Eg-Do IT YOURSELF. With Diamond Dyes any lady can get as good results as the best practical dyer. Every dyeswarranted true to name and sample. 10c. atdruggists. Wells, Richardson & Co.,, Burlington, Vt. ~- @@
  The history of every life.worth chronicling is history of struggle, of ftconquest and de- feat, of persistent toll, of long-enduring pa | tience.
The Press., 1884-05-29

IN THE SHADE. Hon. t. c. Payne, City Alderman, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, writes: 'I have been aTeat sufferer with rheumatism for years and have tried every known remedy, including galvanic Batteries and Turkish Baths. Finally tried St. Ja- cobs Oil, the great pain-cure, and can pos itiyely say it gave me i1sstantaneous relief. It puts all other remedies the shade"
The Press., 1884-05-29

Inquisitive offspring to fond father esPa- pa, what is the meaning of Tra-la-la-la, in the song am learning ?" Fond father, perplex- ed for 8 moment, but reeogering "It means, my child, the same as sfol-de-rol-lop in the song you have already learned"
The Press., 1884-05-29
BUSINESS DIRECTORY.

MIMI. A. COMLNS, Horse and OK
 w Shoeing Machine Forgings and Repairing done to order Also, builder aud reparer of alstyles of Wagons. South-st., Stafford Springs.
The Press., 1884-05-29
.- DEVOE's
 BRILLIANT OIL

A. F. FISHER, Wales. R. s. BEEBE, Stafford. A. S. EATON, StafOrdville. M. l.. DIMMICK, Wilmington. J. P. ROOT, Holland ID. l.. NEWELL, Union. LYON BROS., Westford. FLYNT & O., Monson. NORCROSS,
 JOHN $. O'BRIEN,
 E. O. TRUESDELL, West Stafford. w. G. ELLIS, Stafford Springs. O. G. COUGH, Amherst. F. H. HOWES,
 J. B. BROWN, North Amherst. G. E. COGSWELL,
 J. E. HOLDEN, Barre Plains.
The Press., 1884-05-29
The man who pursues the even tenor of his way never commits a bass act.

No person ever heard ossan accident result ing from the use of Pratt'a Astral Oil and no one can produce sample pf the genuine oil that will not give the dearest, softest, and most steady light that is possible to be obtain ed from an artificial source,
The Press., 1884-05-29

BELTsv1LLE, Prince George Co.,, Md.,l
 May 26th, 1883. 5ftt,8M
, 1884-12-02
A sIeIrhrIae bal summon.

In striking contrast with the average
american wedding, says a Brooklyn paper,
where inc contracting parties HE away soon
after the ceremony, was a social event last
evening IN herman society In this city, con
Quoted In truly Ieutonic fashion The
hymeneal festivities began early in the even
ing, ana continued undated until daybreak
next morning Al tho conclusion OF the cero-
mony the company walked in couples from
me mouse TO the casino adjoining, and sat
down at the banqueting tables In the parlors
upstairs. In the center OF the room was a
long table laden with wedding presents and
nowerR The collation. having beenserved, the