Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-12-31
Some Observations.
"l'hls Is the editor, is itp"

MS Is tnc euitor, Is 1tE'
Eyes, sir, 10 is"
"Well, now. Mr.. Editor, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do. I'm introdu-
cling the Morning Star brand of coffee
among your merchants here, and il
You'll give mo your address, III send
two pounds of the Morning Star
to your house. want your wife to
serve you with cup of it, and after
you've tried 1t, you may just say what
you please about it in your paper"
The editor, of course, beams with
happiness. The prospective donation
of two pounds of choice coffee is enough
to make any editor happy. Unfortu-
nately, however, his family Is away for
the season, and he replies:
eff you had just as soon, suppose
you send that coffee up to the business
managers house. Here he comes, I'll
introduce you" and having done SOL
the observer settled down to hard
work. He would have introduced the
philanthropist to the business manager
anyhow. 1t Is a rule in the Mail office
that all philanthropists shall be intro
duced to the business manager.
The representative of the Morning
Star coffee tells his story very grace
fully to the business manager. al m
going to send two pounds of our superb
coffee up to your house,"
The business manager has met phi
lanthropists before.
1.-Two pounds of Coffee" he replies;
chow much is the coffee q poundP"
"Thirty;ive cents"
,'All right; my house is number 2, 232
Blank street. Send up your coffee.
Here's seventy cents"
81 begyour pardon" says the phi
lanthrorSti Pm going to give you the
coffee, and"
"But l don't want you to give me the
coffee. I'm able to pay for it."
Eyes, yes, know that; but you know
l expect you to reciprocate by saving
what you think about the Morning
Star in your paper"
Linen You want me to give you some
whatever you think the cofiee desorv...
"We usually trade on cash basis, "
the business manager responds, "but
let's see, two pounds of coffee will be
worth seventy cents; three lines of local
seventy-iive cents; YOU owe a bal
ance OF five cents; it will be very hard
work to get very much of notice into
three lines, but We'll close the deal il
you say so.
The philanthropist, for some reason,
couldn't dispute the newspaper finan-
cier's business logic, but still he could
hardly comprehend why his generosity
was looked upon in such coldly prac-
tical manner as the business man ap-
piled to it, He succumbed, however.
and concluded that he wouldn't send
the coffee at all, but would make con-
tract for advertising in cash.
The philanthropic scheme of the
coffee man, analyzed in a business
manner, was every whit as business
like rs 1t would be on the part of q
newspaper man to step into mercan-
tile establishment and say to the pro-
prietor: Here, am going to send
you my paper for three months; after
you have read it you may give me lust
rs many dollars worth of dry goods in
return as you think us deserving Of"
Peculiar ideas are entertained re-
garding the newspaper business. More
ridiculous propositions are made to
newspaper publishers than to any other
class OF business men existing. Not
iOnP dSO lcAtS Hldu WTOCc the .HdtL
o letter saying that he would appreciate
the publication of the enclosed item
of general interest,"" and that if the
publisher would send him marked
copy of the paper and advertising rates,
he would be pleased to send them cash
advertising when he needed it. The
Item of general interest," was an
advertisement. The publishers re.
piled that if he would kindly send
them fifteen dollars in cash as a gift and
the rates on any money he might have
to loan, they would be pleased to borrow
of him whenever the occasion arose.
And why should such absurd propo-
sitions be madeP Simply because the
newspaper profession has educated a
good proportion of the public into the
Idea that donation to an editor of q
fifteen cent. box of strawberries, or o
peck of fresh vegetables, is as accept
able rs thousand dollar gold piece
would be to an ordinary man The
coffee man above referred to, after the
conversation had concluded, laughingly
and frankly added: That's all right
its busincss-but we catch lots OF
'em"-DeS MoineS Sunday Nail.