Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-02-01
TRIBUNE TwlNKLEs.
A BAsmARcK woman says that her husband is
always in low spirits. Does she mean tnas no
drinks ten-cent whisky?
JUDGE ADAMS, of Savannah. recently lined
negro woman for eating peanuts in court. NOW
watch the dispatches for another damage suit
nnder the civil rights act.
An exchange says there are always more women
than men in IN insane asylum. 1t didn't seem
to have time to look up the statistlos ana ex-
nlain who sends them there.

06QO8
Mpa I,AsarRY's butler stands six feet three
;,cha. high in bis hosiery, and does love to hurl
a dude from the doorstep and paste MIN seaans'
a picket fence across the street,
FA1,, RIVER ADVANCE: The Arizona vigilantes
have hung . man because NJ was suon COL
6rmed liar. We begin TO see reason why Eli
Perkins keeps out of that territory.
RmmARcK youth of four nneventtul sum-
,ner. ate an entire leaf which he tore from
oonv Of Puck the other day. The doctor Ii no"
+roatino him for humor in the stomach.
YouNa Mutt is receiving 60 many leap-yeaf
,,ronoaals that he has made up his mind that the
f.+ea .re determined to punish him IN some
+o~-;h,a manner for his free use of the pistol.
WASHINGTON author announces tna' 10 Will
aeon issue book entitled 1.-THE Hidden Lie o'
a CONGRESSMAN" :" and Anthony Comstock says ne
uon't. and that's the way the case stanas ~ W.
60 to press.
rur Chinese New Year lasts two weeks out
the participants in its festivities never VINO up
with headache enough to stock hospital lucy
.tav .ober like heathens and never get drunk ss
civilized gentlemen do.
C.,oAao man Rot hold of the wrong jug the
other day and took big drink OF a mixture Oh
lerosene oil and muriatio acid. Then ne s'-
oused the servant girl of stealing his ~hlsky ana
pourine water in the jug to conceal the tne1''
Fila WHEELER has the art of esoulation re-
duoed down to more than Emma Aooott nne
point- t-Ohicago Sun. Yes, that's 30; ana say'
(4ood.]l. did you notice before the exploslon
how But this is no place to compare noter'
Have written you.
;,..na man thinks he can dam the Niagara
halov, the falls. There are number OF news
papery published there but not one OF them nas
referred to the poor creature as - dam lo1o''
There seems to be no life or enterprise Whatever
at niagara during the winter season.
PHILADELPHIA has young lady of 10 years
who weighs $50 pounds, and Boston has young
man whose arms each measure over tive feet In
1enotb. These people seem to have been con-
atructed by q wise providence purpose'y for
aach other. aud some means should be employed
to bring them together.
AmAs who stole a mule in Wyoming asked
for suspension of public opinion until the
fact. were made known, but the people over
there are an off-hand, impetuous lot, and de-
c;ded without any unnecessary debate that sus-
,,on.;on of the thief would be more in keeping
uth the peculiarties of the case, and acted &C.
cordingly.
A YOUNG and blooming poetess writes thus to
an eastern editor:
..Better that have locked into your eyes
ISoft orbs I've learned go lovingly to prlze);
r. shall be better that I've heard you speak,
I.vo aaen the love blush mantling on your
oheek.''
The idea of blush mantling the cheek OF an
editor! In our hilarious laughter and oavortlng
around after reading this we have upset the
,,.ste not and ruined beautifully embossed
copv of Sarah Barnuri and our we'll worn blole'
But even vet we laugh and cavort!
Nrw YORK JOURNAL: ibid you ever try roller
.latine?" inquired young lady of a siokly-
looking slim.
.Yeth, only onth," he replied
sWhy did you give it up!"
"R.csnthe tried to thtop mythef on my
heelth."
"Pooh! that never prevented me from learn
ing" 4..+ 49,,
.,ear ~ mean that you-that ith-er, don'cher
know?" and finding that he was over bis head
the slim foated out.
TIE editor of the Early Is. o. Messenger at
+onded a recent musicale at the high school in
p;ckena and thus describes tho success OF two
Young lady performers: ut was slmmer1ng g
srnhe.ns pitched against raven tresses, the mel
,ovo orav against the keen black, the Palmetto
.t.te against Georgia gold fields; the lark with
her aids the streaks of the morning, against the
nightingale, rivaling asongstress whose Ups the
Attic bees had stung With the nectar OF sweet
nees. If these two girls were cut ont IN little
.t.ra and placed in tho drmament. all the world
,wonld be in love with night" Even after this
the subscriptioLkprice of his paper remains at
the same hgure.
..vonR cheeks have the blush of the rose" he
said,
aAnd your hairs like summer dream;
And vonr teeth shine out from their rosy bed,
Outriv'ling the ivorys gleam.
Your lips are an altar, on which to lay
A tribute of kisses sweet,
And vour smile is as bright as a morn in May
Bnt YOU have such voluptuous feet!
..vorr vt,ice il a. sweet as the tinkling bells
That sound from Fairyland caves;
Your bosom heaves soft in voluptuous swells'
IA heaves the sea's midsummer waves;
=.Yonr breath is balmy - feathe1y WIND
That softly DER Paradise blows
vou,d be the most perfect Of womankind
e i want for that wart on your nose!