The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-08-30
CORrE'r SPARKS.

He who holds n bear by the tail can
not afford to let loose. Il
1t is said that Grant will soon be on
the stump, Lord Grant It'll
1t would b0 comfortable these dave
to take off our flesh and go In ours,
bones. s4 =
Every fifth man in the world Is
chin:man and every eixth man
drummer.
"Sam, look here I's tells you how rs
gwine to make heap money. ps
gwine to collect every cent / owes.
"If you had to fall some way how
would you prefer to fall, jim" II
would prefer to fall an heir to vast
estate" ef+'t ..'t f.'
Said a guost at the hotel, ~ never
put my teeth on such II piece of beef
in my life. 1t tastes like limb of
Lots wife"
Rev. Joseph Cook calls himself u
pandenominationalist. Keep on
climbing Mr.. Cook, and you will soon
be acknowledgements.
Mr.. Beecher says cremation is Pa
gan custom unfit for Christians.
Beecher neverhas believed in hell, and
of course is opposed to beginning the
devils supposed work on earth.
How nicely Ben ButIers name fits
in the following famous epigram;
The best speculation the market holds forth
TO an enlightened lover Of pelf,
sto buy Ben up at the price he Ia worth,
And sell him at that he puts on himself
Ben Butler has written a letter
showing that the expression mot
worth tinkers dam" is not profane.
If there is any branch of literature
with which Ben is thoroughly famil.
lar it is the profane.
A sixteen year old negro boy talking
at the door to and old negro woman
who had been married three times,
said: "Now Aunt Jane Civ me one
buss fore / goes for ] loves you with
all my heart an piece OF my liver"
A French physician has discovered
disease called "atremia." The most
pronounced symptom of this disease
is an aversion to getting out Of bed in
the morning. Yes, we are we'll ac-
quainted with this disease. We have
suffered with atremia for long time.
| The old saw "Never kick man
when he is down" is good one, be-
cause to kick man when he is down
lis cowardly. Now we give another,
| "Never kick man when he in up"
because it is reckless.--EvanSpill Ar-
lgus.
Still safer, "Never kick a man at
lall," if there is boy to be found
Since ] was born said an old coun-
| ltryman, never heard of as many can,
didates for President. There's Cleye-
land and Blaine and st. John and
| Butler and / hear some talk Of that
old fellow Greely again. In my opin-
ion he don't stand any better chance
| than he did before. y l-v.o aa. i' t'
How words do degenerate. The
word candidate comes from the Latin
caadidus, meaning white, The Ro-
man Office seekers used to wear white
robes emblamatical Of their purity.
IN this day when the office seekers,
} generally are men Of blackened repu-
ttatiop, perhaps nigerdate would be
better term than candidate.
IAN old fellow in the mountains went
to a good old baptist meeting not long
ago, and got happy After the meet
ling was over the old man got On his
mule and started home. He COM
mehced shouting--the mule took
. fright and ran away, The old man
shouted gloIy--woe Dick--gloryt glo4
ry--woe-glory--woe Dick His nose
! struck sapling-the mule went on.
The old fellow fell on apple OF rocks,
raised himself up to sitting posture
> and shouted; "Go to tho devil you
blamed old fool, glory! gloryi
A story comes from Texas that a
cattle dealer was very much opposed
to having bed fellow. Tie hotel ut
8 which he stopped was generally crowd
4 ed, and the driver most invariably had
3 companion in his bed. He deter
mined to put a stop to it. After UNI
dressing, one night, he buckled his
I spurs OH his naked heels. The man
with whom he slept, that night, was
: very restless, and about midnight he
shook the driver, saying, "Mr., Mr.,
q wake up, wake up. If you have got
any politeness about you, you'll get up
and cut off your toe nails
Ephraham.--"Boss is about to
have big law suit wild Jones'"
Lawyer.-"Wcll state your case
Il Ephraham."
Ephraham.-"De fuss is about a
COW; wants to state dc case, and
den | wants you to say whether | kin
u gain dc ease, an what you gwine tc
/. charge fur de feeT'