Morning journal and courier., 1884-10-09
POWERFUL,


 Powerful steel knives which will cut cold iron have been invented. They will be use ful in railway restaurants Philadelphia Call
 We have stood off and looked at the fight calmly and coolly and reached the conclusion that Mir. St. John's moustache is not half so black as it is painted.-Milwaukee Journal.
 "This is the line of argument which we shall use today" remarked the lawyer, as he got out the fishing tackle and picked the dried worm off the hook.-Burlington Free Press
 s'I heard the other day that Snifkins was engaged in criminal practice. Is he law yer?'' ''No but he is almost as bad. He caught stealing pair of oots."-Bur- lington Free Press.
 She-'tYou were at the play last night. How did you like the ballet?" He-"So-so. It didn't come up to my expectations" She -"Ah! then they did have something on?" Boston Transcript.
 There is a man in this State who has chew ed one pound of tobacco per day right along for years, but is now inclined to reduce the amount one-half because there isn't enough sidewalk in his town for him to spit on.- Free Press.
 Once upon time Goethe got off 8 remark to the effect that although we cannot always be heroes one can always be man. It will be seen that Goethe in this made allow l ance for a woman and other females.-Oil | City Derrick.
 A Cleveland (Obio) man, while milking, | tied the cows tail to his own leg to keep her from Hopping the milk in his face. The | neighbors who saw him go by thought he | was training for a walking match, and cheered him on-
 -"And so you have been to Europe? Did you go to Switzerlanda and did you see the l g1aciers?" Mrs. Shoddy-E'Oh, yes, we see i mechanics of all kinds, but then, you know, 1 I don't take any interest in such vulgar per sons. ."-Boston Transcript.
 ''Mary,'' said a Philadelphia mother, the ether morning. ''Mary, heard you coax young MT. Blank to remain, as he arose to go l when the clock struck ten last evening. Mary, it was wrong in you; why did you dc so?" 'fWhy, now" artlessly replied the 1 maiden, 'sMr. Blank is very good company, and you know you have always taught me to keep good company, and l kept him."
 THE THIN DISGUISE.
 Ben Butler (to his yalet)-"J Joseph, bring me glass of that Royal Arms sherry and that box of fifty cent eabanas. Like al 1 workingmen need quiet after dinner. Oys ters, soup, fish, roast beef, game, pastry cakes, cream and fruit are best digested witt 8 cigar"
 Joseph-"Yes, general, but hadn't you better first see that delegation of working men who have been waiting to see you the two hours you've been. at dinner?'
 Butler-'tCertainly. Show them up. Bu wait moment. Hang this overeoat up il the closet and hide these diamonds in th bureau Now bring me my overhauls ent flannel shirt There, that will do. Oh, forgot. Put my kit of tools in that eorne and my dinner pail on the mantel. Now look something like a son of toil Where my pipe? Ahl regular dudeen it is. Hoy do I strike you now, Joseph?'
 Joseph-'tLike my father in the old coun try, sir"
 Butler-t:How was thata'
 Joseph-ftBeg pardon, sir, but he alway said that the more he wasn't like himself tn more honest he looked. ."-Philadelphia Call