The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-05-03
NOTE AND GOSSIP.

Written for the indianapolis journal.
Sweet violets that strew the lap Of the new
come spring"
Matthew Arnold neatly defines culture as
''Knowng the best which has been thought and
said in the world"
In parts of western Massachusetts the snow is
reported three feet deep i'll the woods How
you lag dose climade"
Magenta is announced among fashionable
spring tints. Magenta is false pretender among
i'Ninrs which no self-respecting woman will ever
patronize
impatient housekeepers are beginning to sus-
,pect that spring resembles Sairey Camps famous
Mrs Harris and that really there amt no
'sich a person
Exchanges are puzzling over the conundrum
''H-hat would man be without woman9" That's
easy enough. We wouldn't be at all, and vice
versa as to woman.
Anything to beguile the timid nickel from its
burro@ in mans pocket. In maple sugar dis
tricts church entertainments are given which
ARE called 'sugareats,"
1t has been discovered that the Gala is not a
lilly, and the dog tooth violet is not properly a
violet Now if some daring iconocast will only
prove that the onion is not an onion!
A popular topic with writers Just now is
woman in American Fiction" If some phioso
Spher could only furnish a little insight on the
t'anie of Election in American Women, it would
be vastly more to the point
The st. Louis Globe Democrat has a ghost
STORY column Any one familiar with the pro
portion of saloons to the square in St Louis will
admit at once her extraordinary opportunities for
gathering statistics all kinds Of spirits.
A Boston clergyman has decided that the
Garden of Eden was located at the north pole.
VI this is reliable it is little singular that Eve
should have cut up so about common apple with
loads of ice cream lying around doing nothing.
A barkeeper on a Cunard steamer has crossed
the Atlantic five hundred times. This explodes
The prevailing belisf in the eleyating influences
of nature. Tive hundred times across "Old
oceans gray and melancholy waste" and still
bar keeper!
The Chicago hoax perpetrated in the pame of
Matthew Arnold arouses horrible suspicion in
this locality What if Henry Irving didn't say
that indianapolis onehorse town! Let no
one rashly leave town until the momentous
question is settled.
senator John Sherman says: Sew men have
been happy in the Office of the presidency"
Now it strengthens faith in humanity to witness
the mutitudinous array of heroic men, from
every part of the United States, who are eager
and willing to enter such state of misery
purely for their eountry's good
Mr.. Baker of Tonawanda, n. Y, has recently
eaten six pounds of beans in forty minutes Mr..
Bakers plans have not been made generally pub
lie yet. but it is quietly circulated among his
friends that he is qualifying himself to become
acceptable contributor to the Atlantic Monthly,
or failing in that, to establish an intellectual
dime museum in opposition to Josephus Adj
borontophoseophornio Cook
1t is related that Barnum's white elephant got
1aose. in the absence of his keeper, recently and
became mixed up with the other elephants. AS
soon as the catastrophe was discovered the best
color experts in the city were employed, and, af
ter dreadfuly perplexng time, succeeded in
getting him sorted out and restored to his own
apartment He was immediately branded to
prevent the recurrence of a like disaster.
The fact that Edmund Yates has been sent to
jaii for four months for publishing rumor to
Nae effect that lord had eloped with lady, has
had depressing effect on importers of English
traits and characteristics. II is very plain to be
SEGA that English journalism will never thrive
American soll the average American journal
ist is 50 constructed that he must say what he
9rses, and if anybody goes to jail it Is the other
follow.
st is becoming rapidly apparent that woman is
guilty of the supremest folly in agitatipg the air
md exhausting her vitality in cries for extended
privileges of all kinds. Daily discoveries are
made which point to the fact that if she will only
have patience she will soon have the
whole world for her own, and can
run domestic religious and municipal
affairs to suit herself. Religious statistics show
that woman is more moral than man: that she
is rising in merit and value. while his stock is
falling; physical research has proven that
more women are born than men, and that
more men die than women. AS man Is on the
deyn-grade in both strength and number, the
outlook is hopeful for the now oppressed sex.
Patience, sisters; all may yet be well
The latest startling defamation which has
been hurled al the head of woman is, that she
has no sense of humor, which is nonsense, pure
and simple Among women writers, Jane
Austen had the most exquisite sense of the ri
diculous; her comica Mrs. Bates far surpasses
Charles Dickens Mrs Niekelby," of similar
characteristics Charlotte Bronte was
keenly alive to the absurd, and no one
privileged to know Aunt PulletD or Aunt
Glegg' or the immortal Mrs. PoysePr can for
moment doubt George Eliots title to humorous
perceptions That woman has sense of humor
is not open to question at all; but the problem
which should be investigated to solution is.
t'Why have women humorists2' The an
mails of literature, ancient and modern, furnish
a startling blank in this respect ana the field is
evidently still unbroken to that woman who
shall arise to devote time, pen and reputation to
the dissemination of pure humor Where rests
in dleness the able pen which is to portray the
capers of ''Peck's Bad Girl or turn the tables
on the noble Spoopendyke! Sealed proposals re-
ceived at this Office.
CIRCUS TIME.
for a. IuA;