Morning journal and courier., 1884-09-04
BAD.

The objection to stale jokes probably takes it's origin from the fact that jokes are badin- age.-Somerville Journal
 F'Yes," said the merchant, ''I always mark the most expensive of my goods as 'sold' during the holiday season. Then when wo- men read the signs it makes them crazy to
 have the same article, and they are so disap-
 pointed that finally promise to try and get
 them another-which, of course, have no
 trouble in doing Oh it's great scheme,
 tell you, and never fails. ."-Rockland Cour-
 ier-Journal
 'Do you know, George, I wish you would
 stay at home tomorrow" ''Why darling?'
 "Oh, because this afternoon terrible looking
 tramp came here while you were away and
 ordered me to give him something to eat, so
 I had to give him all the sponge cake made
 ing back tomorrow" ''Did he eat the cake,
 darling?" 'EYes, all of it. Yes, every bit''
 "Well, then set your mind at rest, dear, he
 never will come back. "-Boston Post
 A number of women at Saratoga pray
 every afternoon for the reform and conver-
 sion of their frivolous sisters ''who live for
 dress only.' Once 8 farmer reminded his eaten eleven buckwheats. 'FWell, you count
 and I'll eat,' said the hired man. harpooning
 the twelfth cake with his fork. The "frivo.
 lous sisters" at Saratoga no doubt say to the
 exhorting women: ''You pray and we'll
 dress, and have fun "-Norristown Herald
 ''Well, Uncle Rube, how have you been
 since you came to live down here on the
 rivers" Poly, master, polly" 'You are not used to living in such an out-of-the-wav place, Uncle Rube You are suffering from isolation ''Dat's it, sah, dat's it. Ise got 'em. I'se suffered wid 'em mighty bad, marster. I had disrecommembered de name ob de misery. I knowed it want malaria, or o{o 1oo41D Oj 1 ind Vn,7 struck it de fust chatter, sah. Got qua'ter bout you, sah to buy some isolation medi- cine. '-Texas Siftings.
 Young Husband-'FWe have been very happy, pet, and there is only one favor I have to ask"
 Bride-''What is that, love?" 'I am desperately fond of pumpkin pie" 'EYou never told me about it.'' ''I did not like to trouble you, but the sea- 1 son for it is here, and really can't get along | without it."
 ''Well, dear, you shall have it" ''Do you know how to make it?" ''No, but my mother does. I'll send for I her. r."-Philadelphia Call.
 ! Restaurant proprietors not always bad masters. t'Here!n called a man, making an l impatient gesture which quickly. drought the negro waiter. F'This is the worst piece of beefsteak I ever saw" ''Whut's de matter | wid it, boss; ain't it healEhy?" Healthy I why, it fed on the Banting system-all l muscle and no fat. Can't you bring me a | better piece?'' 'tNo, sah; dat's de bes' wes got.' ''I saw boy go through here just 1 now with the finest kind of 9 steak "Yas,
 sah, but dat was fur de cook" ''For the 1 cook" 'Yas, sah We's sorter behind wid | de cooks wages, sah, and we has ter feed him | we'll ter keep him from leabin' us in de lurch. l Come 'roun some time when wese squar' l wid de gennerman an we'll feed yer in great 1 shape sah h"-Exchange.
 Now we'll try to hoist thee, oyster | From thy closely cnging shell;
 As our mouths grow moist and moister, For we love thee, oh, so welll
 | Thou hast like monk in cloister, | Long been free from all turmoil; l Now, o, fat and we1l-fed oyster, 1 Thee we'll stew, fry, roast and broil! I -NexX York