The Brookhaven leader. [volume] (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1883-1891, 1884-06-05
American Newspaper Humor

party.
why, my dear Mrs. Lovclace.
YOU sccrI 81 much thinner Have
YOU been ill?' "Oh. no. but / have
a very muscular maid"
Formerly women coull not marry
until they had spun a complete set
OF bed furniture; hence the term
-pinster which is still in use.
y woman doesn't consistently use
profane language. but the way she
saws "Gracious -" when she slips
down is full of subtle meaning and
inherent force.
Among recent patents is a POCKET
storm Indicator" Every married
msn Of convival habits should have
one and keep it in the same pocket
with his night key.
oh, Profcs sor,," cxclamed senti-
mental cid Mrs. Fishw hat ker, during
n private organ recital in her new
mu ,ic-room, do pull out that sweet
/ nuX Nonica stop once more
! Shall take your love to your
nother?" said q lady visitor, who
was going to see the mother in ques-
ton. to little child Of three wears
She has my love- was the quaint
reply.
Now understand said Oldcn-
burg with sigh, after vainly trying
to get view Of the stage over the
hoanct in front Of him; now | I'M
derstand what they mean by the
height of fashion
( They have an extraordinary o
/ lice force in Troy. A man was at
, tackled at night, stunned, carried a
quarter of u mile, and then robbed
of his watch and chain, money and
diamond pin, hat, clothes snd shoes
The police recovered the shoes.
People are 50 ridiculous with their
illusions, carrying their fools caps
unawarcs, thinking their own lies
opaqne while verybody else's are
transparent, as if when all the world
looked yellow under a lamp, they
alone were rosy.
II write this" said man addres
sing . gentleman who owed him
money, ito inform YOU that YOU are
a liar. Your postage stamp was
wasted" came the reply, las | Knew
that was a liar before | had any
transactions with you ~
A San Francisco man was recent
Is found dead with bottle Of water
clutchcd in his ncrvcIess hand. He
had prcbtbly in thoughtless mo-
ment taken a swallow of it and the
shock proved too much for him.
II say, Mr.. Painter, can You do a
job for me today "CcrtainIy,
certainly; what is it," Il want q
sign PAINTED" "All right; what
kind Of sign" "A sign Of rain =
Exit, lodging a paint o..
Philadelphia has Young lady of
twenty years who weighs 1872 pounds,
ard Boston has young man whose
arms each measure over five feet in
length These people seem TO have
constructed by a wise ProNi,lcl &c
purposely for cath other, and some
means should be employed to bring
them together.
do YOU keep Lent said John
as James hurried past him in a
dewn-pour Of rain Gu sunday morn
ing on his way to church No, but
nv umbrella does" was Jim's reply.
as he saw it in Johns uplit,ed hand
"A most excel mt joke" was johns
parting salute.
1t has leaked out that unmarried
women all over the northwest are
forming leap YEAR clubs, and that
wEeI fall opens they will swcou
down on the bachelors rs the Assv-
rjans OF ii swope. This is believed
to be another scheme worked up &c
drive immigration into the Cpur de
Alene region.
The shock Of an earthquake was
felt up 10 Michigan last week, but il
has bcrn satisfactorily explained by
new pen poem by Ella Wheeler
Some hOrrid man had kissed hCl
again, and she just RATED things
with her own and only grand shivc.
act.
Rudolph II. writes as follows t.