davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
Among Ihe Women.

at makes me laugh whenevevI think
of it." said Capt. J. .. Beiiair, the
census enumeration, to a Detroit Ne,Cs
reporter. 1.-The other day stopped in
front of a house in the Seventh ward.
1t was toward evening, and the whole
family were grouped in the yard near
the door. There were ten of 'em in
ell, and two or three were fine, strap
ping young men. l stood at the gate
a few moments and gazed with delight
upon this charming domestic picture.
Sir" said |, addressing the oldest,
''you are, L presume, the man Of the
hOuse?"
''Yes SIR" he replied.
And this charming group take
them to be your wife and family?'
at is true" replied the man.
snow, sir, l will be obliged, - taking
out my book and pencil, IF you Will
kindly give me the names of each"
The man gave his own name readily
enough, but when he came to the boys
his wife kicked. Don't you do itl''
she exclaimed to her husband in French.
''He wants 'em for the war; They will
be taken as conscripts!"
L made several attempS to get the
names, and each time the wife headed
me of 10y jabbering to her husband in
French. Finally, turning to the lady,
i said in the same tongue: Madame,
there is no war, and just now it doesn't
look as If we would have one for 100
years.
The woman sprang up aStonished.
"Why, | declare!' she said, ''the man
is FIenchman and understood every
word L saidln Then she ran into the
house and | obtained the rest of the
names from the husband without diff
Guilty.
Another thing happened a few days
ago." said Captain Bellair, (which |
don't exactly understand. | asked a
young woman who came to the door if
there had been any births there, and
without saying a word she went into
another room and returned with cage
containing two young canary birds.
Now, do you think that fool woman
intended to guy me?''
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

The steam power used in the manu-
factories of the United States. by the
census of 1880, was equal to 2, ,1S3, ASS
horsepower; the waterpower was equal
to l. 1.225, 379 horse power, making in all
the United States 3,50S, ,S67. Counting
one horse power to be equal to six men
we have in the power used IN the driv-
ing of our factories in this country the
equivalent of 20,453, ,202 men. The
steam power used in our factories. not
including the water power, is equivalent
to the labor of 13, 100, ,92S men; and of
our so, 200, 900 people only 80 per cent.
are supposed to be capable of labor-in
round numbers Il, SOC, 900 laborers, per.
sons capable of pursuing gainful avo.
cations. in the country; and yet il
would take nearly all these IL, SOC, 900
men to furnish the force that is exerci-
sed by steam in driving the engines of
our factories, the wheels, the spindles,
and the machinery of this country, and
We do not begin to touch, even then,
upon the saving of power by the use of
machines which are manufactured in
these factories.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
just Like John.

\ woman clad In deep mourning
went through the menagerie at Burling-
ton, stopping TO admire each of the
animals in turn, and every now and
then applying her handkerchief assidu-
ously to her eyes. When she came to
the camel, it was evident that she had
come to stay. She sat down CD one of
the posts that held the rope and began
to catechise the attendant.
This is the camel, amt it?''
IL s'm-and the finest specimen in
this menagerie or IN any menagerie in
the country"
''Do tell! How that reminds me of
Johnl John was always at the head of
the heap. Now, do tell me some of the
peculiarities of the camel-won't you?''
'Yes, ma'am. He has a long neck"
''Just like JOhnl He had the longest
neck You ever saw on man. GraciOusl
l wish you could have seen the stand
ing collars he used to wear. Come,
now, tell me something more.n
"The camel has the largest natural
hump of any animal in existence
Just like JOhnl You never saw
man that could hump himself as John
ttuius "hcH lie ildu Il HllDu 10.
1.-The camel is great traveller"
Just like Johnl | never could keep
him home nights"
HE is called the ship of the desert. :"
'IJust like JOhnl He csuld get more
pie aboard than any other man in Yer
mOnt.n
Just then the hons began to roar. and
the woman started on the dead trot to
see how much meat they could eat at
one meal. Say" cried the attendant
of the camel, there's one thing hain't
told you about the animal-the most
Important of all" "
'What's that?" asked the woman
turning round il the tracks.
He can 90 for weeks without drink
ing drop Of water.''
'Just like JOhnl'' exclaimed the excl
ted female. You never saw a man
so
But the lions began to roar so loud
that her voice was lost to the attendant
of the camel; and he forgot all about
the little incident, until later in the
day, when he saw female ia black in
front of the monkeys cage. aad heard
her exclaim, by way of comment on
some remark of the keeper
''Just Like John"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

A HANDS NE and durable rug can be
made by taking piece of burIap
and having large pattern
stamped upon it. There are now pat
terms on white paper in blue that can
be bought at very reasonable price,
and easily transferred to any material
by pressing warm iron over it. Work
in the pattern with rsveiled yarn,
over and over on lead pencil,
taking care to leave the loops long
1t will not have a flat appearance.
Border with piece OF scarlet flannel,
which also forms the lining and is
pinked out about the edge.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

CALF's BRAINS LA MLANAIsE.-
Wash the brains carefully and boil
them until tender in salted boiling
water. Mash them into smooth paste
and season well with pepper, salt,
grated onion and little chopped pars-
lev. Moisten the mixture slightly
with melted butter, then stiffen it u
little with cracker or bread crumbs.
Add one or two well-besten eggs to
bind it, then set it upon ice to become
quite cold. Form the mixture into
small round cakes and fry them deli
cately In hot butter. Arrange them in
the centre of hot platter and place
around them border of spaghetti
(macaronD cooked and dressed with
tomato sauce, favored with onion.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

FETCH in your corpse" demanded
the foreman OF a Texas Coroners jury.
The body was laid before them.
The jury made a careful examination,
and questioned the attending surgeon.
"Whar was he shot?'
"Square through the heart"
"Dead in the center O. the hearth"
"Right in the center"
"Who shot hin?"
'Jake Daniels"
A dozen witnesses declared Jake
fred the shot, and Jake himself ad-
mitted it.
The Jury consulted softly for some
time.
"Well, gentleman Of the jury" said
the Coroner, "what is your verdict"
"walI, iedge. we've come to the
conclusion that Jake Daniels is ther
dandiest shot in these parts, and don't
you furgit it."
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
why For becrv

One of the most singular traits OF
our common humanity is the fact that
no matter how artically Indifferent the
citizen of a particular locality may be
to his neighbors while at home, he no
sooner becomes a traveller than his local
pride sticks out like the peg on hat
rack, and at minutes notice.
The other morning while the east
bound overland was stopping at Coun-
ell Bluffs, a man suddenly climbed into
one of the Pullman cars, and exclaimed
in an anxious voice:
"Is there a Southern man aboard!'
There Is. sab. From Nothe Carli-
py. sahl' responded gentleman attlred
in black suit, velvet vest and leg
boots, those ante-bellum landmarks OF
the sunny South.
"Then | appeal 10 you TO aid a case
of real Distress" said the stranger. 81
give a dollar myself, a" and he dropped a
dollar into his own hat.
I'm from Florida, sab, said a thin
man farther along, land | make It two
dollars
"'If there's anybody here from Wis.
cousin,'' said a stout-lOOking party in
jeans. ''suppose we subscribe three dol
lars apiece?"
Its a goI' shouted fellow citizen
to the last speaker, pulling out his
pocket book.
New York says five dollars, snapped
out a stylish looking young fellow, flip
ping a gold piece down the aisle.
$50 does Massachusetts,, coolly
chimed in a Boston man, dropping a
greenback into the collectors hat.
Gentlemen" quietly announced a
solid looking passenger, 1.-The keystone
State pities the starving family. or
whatever it is, just ten dollars, y and be
counted out the coin.
Illinois goes that one BETTER" and
traveller with a "wheat futures look
ished out three fiyes.
''Just pass this up, please" said a
st. Louis pork-packer, handing the
Chicago man twenty, with a grim
smile.
The poor widow catches Utah for
s25," said another man, amid a general
smile.
"Put Wyoming down for thirty"
and a big cattle-ranger began unwrap-
ping his wallet.
The Silver State says thirty-five,"
shouted big fellow with sack of spe-
cimens who had been unstrapping his
money-belt.
"If the returns are all in.'' finally
said man with big belt and mug
get breast-pin, as he stood up and look
ed around calmly. al should like to
ask If there Is another Californian
present."
There was no response.
IAN right" said the gentleman from
the ComStOck, Then III subscribe
for him. Here's S1O0 from the Sunset
State" and he dumped the gold into
the already heavily-weighed hat, just as
the whistle blew and the collector start
ed for the door.
"Who did you say all that money was
for?" shouted several, as the tram
slowly pulled out.
What for? Why, for beer!" yelled
the man with the hat, and at the same
moment about a dozen more old buns
and tramps crawled out from under a
fiat car and executed a wild 5calp-dance
of joy as the train disappeared around
the curve.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
Washington Irving.

Many years ago-in fact, back In the
thlrties-Dr. Grant, of Enfield, whose
reputation as a physician in Connectl-
cut is still In memory of the first rank
after years of retirement from practice,
was travelling in South Carolina, his ma
tive State, going by stage from Savan-
nah to Augusta. AT certain stopping
place it was found that there were more
passengers than the stage could c1rry,
and an extra was ordered for the accom-
modation of five passengers. These
passengers were John Forsyth, OF Geor-
gia; John Branch, Postmaster General; {;
George McDuffie, of South Carolina;
DR.. Grant, and an unknown gentleman.
The party soon became talkative, and
by degrees all knew who each one was,
with the exception of the one silent
stranger. AS the stage creaked along
the attention Of DIR. Grant, who was a
lad at that date, was attracted by 1T
tie dog following the stage, which re-
minded him of one described by WASH
ington Irving in "Astoria," which he
had just been reading. He was laugh
ing quietly to himself, when one OF the
gentlemen insisted that he should tell
them the cause of his amusement, that
they might join In the fun. DIR. Grant
said: "That little dog reminds me OF
Washington Irving's dog, whose skin
was so tight that it drew up his hind
legs.
This led to talk about Irving, IN
which all joined except the unknown
man. One of the gentlemen then APP
pealed to him, and asked him If he DID
not think Irving one OF our wittlest and
most delightful writers. The person
appealed to replied that he could not
say that he did. The gentlemen all ex-
pressed their astonishment, and one OF
them persisted in demanding why he
did not agree with the others in their
admiration of the favorite author.
''Have you ever read any OF his
worksl" they asked.
"Yes," was the reply.
"Well, don't you think the Sketch
Book one of the most beautiful specl-
mems of English which our country has
producedr"
"Well, no." the unknown replied;
81 cannot say that l see anything re-
markable i'll it,"
well" said the other, ''then you
must be Washington Irving himself,
for no one else could resist the humor
and pathos of his pen."
The unknown colored to the roots Of
his hair, but made no reply, and his
tormentor continued:
"Come, tell us the truth; are you not
Washington Irving himself?"
The poor man at last blushingly con-
fessed that he was, and then followed
general introducing and Misunderstanding,
and delightful and never-to-be-forgOt-
ten stage ride.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
DOMESTIC.

CH,wpER. Choose a black bass
fresh and firm, dress with care, cover
the bottom of the steamer with pota-
toes peeled and washed; slice two
onions and scatter the slices over the
potatoes; wrap the fish in cloth, and
Law that on the potatoes; steam tIll all
are done; pick the meat from the bones,
slice the potatoes; then put In a kettle
q layer OF buttered crackers, one OF
potatoes with the ''onion atoms and
a little chopped parsley, salt and pep
per; then layer OF fish, and 30 on un-
til all the material is used. Pour over
this enough rich milk to moisten 1t
thoroughly; let it heat gradually and
simmer gently till it is all ''boiling
hot" In this state it should be
brought to the table.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
Free Pardon.

For the second TINS within recent
years, a free pardon" has been grant
ed by the Crown of England to a mar
condemned to death through the yer.
dict of a jury. William Siddle, who
was sentenced along with LowsOn fol
the murder of a police officer in Durham
has received a pardon. Lowson, or
several occasions, while admitting hi:
own guilt, stated that Siddle was limo.
cent; and the Home Secretary, afteI
an independent inquiry, has given the
fullest effect to this testimony. Low.
son accused another man as being equal
ly guilty with himself, but this man
was acquitted by the jury.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
HUMOROUS.

THE train was rattling on, rickety
click, rickety click.
81 was in such hurry to catch the
train didn't wait to buy a ticket.
said the New York banker, offering
money.
YES" replied the conductor, a6-
stractly as he punched the next mans
ticket, 81 notice that good many
New York bankers are in hurry to
catch the trains nowadays"
"Well. sir, You needn't be insolent;
here is money to pay my fare"
81 know. but l can't take it, SIR"
"Ah, I see; the company doesn't lei
you conductors take money. Fraid
you'll steal it. 1 see."
"No. sir, there is no company rule
against my taking it."
"Then why don't you take lt?'
"Tm afraid I'd be arrested for re-
ceiving stolen property.
The banker locked out OF the win
dow at the shady groves, and cool,
pellucid streams while the train went
rafting ON, rickety click, rickety click.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
Nothing Like It

No medicine has ever been known so eff
fectual in the cure of all those diseases aris-
ing from an impure condition Of the blood
as Scovill's Sarsaparilla,o or Blood and Liver
Syrup, for the cure of scrofula, white swell
lings, rheumatism, pimples, blotches, erup-
tions, venereal sores and diseases, consump-
ton, goitre, boils, cancers, and all kindred
diseases. There is no better means of Sc
curing beautiful complexion than by using
Scovilis Sarsaparilla, or Blood and Lrer
Syrup, which cleanses the blood and gives
permanent beauty TO the skin.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
Advertising Cheats!!I

at has become so common to beglu an
article, In an elegant, interesting style.
''Then run it into some advertisement
that we avoid all such,
'And simply call attention to the merits
of Hop Bitters in as plain, honest terms As
possible,
''TO induce people
go give them one trial, which so proves
their value that they will never use any
thing else"
"THs REMEDY so fayorably noticed in all the
pap'rs,
Religious and secular, is
''Having large sale, and Is supplanting all
other medicines
''There is no denying the virtues OF the Hop
plant, and the prOprietOrs of Hop Bitters have
shown great shrewdness and ability
s.In c1mpounding a medicine whose virtues are
So pal lpab c 10 every ones observation
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

ROYAL CRooUETTEs.-Roast a plump,
tender chicken. and when cool chop
the white meat as fine as possible, theI
pound to a smooth paste. Scald 8
sweetbread and remove the sinews. Fry
1t brown in butter. then let IL cool
Pound it to smooth paste and add il
to the chicken. Season to taste with
pepper and salt and add well-beater
egg. Moisten it with rich cream, and
work into it teaspoouful of flour to
give it consistency, Stir it well oveI
the fire until it becomes hot, then
spread it upon a buttered dish to cool.
Form the mixture into cork-shaped
croquettes, and egg, bread crumb, and
fry them III the usual way.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
Their Name Is Legion.

Legions of people have had their lives
msde miserable by piles. This painful
difficulty is often induced and always ag.
gravsted by Constipation. Kidney Wort
is the great remedy for all affections oi
this kind. 1t acts as gentle csthsrtic,
promotes a healthy action of tine bowels,
aud sootbes and heals the inflamed surfs-
ces. II has cured hundreds of cases where
all other remedies and applications have
tailed. Sold by all druggists.
La Fitted out for the Season. Dresses,
cloaks, stockings and all garments can be
coiored successfully with the Diamond
Dyes. Fashionable oolors. Only 10c. al
druggists. Wells, Richardson & Co, Bur-
linptOn VT
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

If there is ANYTHING that is calculated
to make a woman dweI! on suicide 1t is
after she has spent twenty minutes
fixing her bangs, ten minutes powder
ing her chin, and five minutes putting
the room to nights. to rush to the door
in answer TO the bell and to be met
with the inquiry, "Buy some nice
family soap, madam? Eleven cakes for
fifteen cents"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
Loss OF Life.

The loss of life in Arctic exploration
is nothing compared to the mortality
of Gloucester. Mass, fisherman on the
Banks. That city during the war lost
more men in her fishing s'nacks than
she did in the field. During the last
twenty-five years the average of yearly
loss has been 81 men. But the present
season passes all previous figures in the
deplorable records, 254 men having per-
ished aimee August !.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

Cotton fibre is a wide or flat cylinder,
thickened at the edges, and twisted into
spiral. The coloring matter is oily or
reslnous. and in drying is deposited on
the edges of little pockets occurring
along the fibre. The better the fibre
the more perfect its spirality, and the
more regular in shape are these oily
deposits. Wrinkles are also formed
when drying, their being we'll marked
in the perfectly matured fibre affording
another test of good cotton. Tue lack
of spirality is an inferiorlty, because it
prevents the fibre from being as init
mately twisted with other tibres as 1t
ought 20 be.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

A GIRL at Fremont, Neb., has taken
the first prize for blowing the largest
soap-bubble at church sociabIe. Aud
yet some persons argue that church
sociables are productive of no real.
lasting benefit Young men in Ere.
mont, when looking for a wife, will
select some other girl-one less liable
to elbow them Hp" now and then,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

MALICIOUS boy created panic in a
Montreal hotel one day last week by
thrusting his head into the dining
room and calling out: "Here comes an
officer from New York with warrant. &"
Ii was several hours before some of
the most nervous guests could be per-
suaded to come out of the woods and
return to their meal
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23
THE TRUE RELIEF

RADwAYS READY RELIEF
remedial agent IN vOgu that In. l-.-.v.,-' ~ 3
It instantly lIeves AM sOou ct.r-. ~ {
whethrr sick OF nervous. t80rrseb. ,4i-
nervousness AMI sleeple>sI les, rb.I,1.'-. "a {
bsgO, pain, ami weakness m the - n 1
kldAe ;, pains around ihe yrr, euf.s, ~.
of the joints, sprans, bruises, bic. mi - -
pains OF all < hds, Bidways Ready n &
10, immediate ease, ami It's Cou-inrs-i -
few GAYS effect a peTmauenI cnr. - I.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

Mr. J. Ii. Goldsmith, owner of the
Walnut Grove stock farm, N. Y, says of the
wonderful curative qualities OF ST. Jacobs
Oil, that having long used it for rheuma-
tism and on his breeding farm fer ailments
OF horses and cattle he cheerfully accords
this great pain-cure his preference, as the
best he ever used, In an experience oil
twenty wears.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

hESsAASs PEPToSIZED BEEP TONIC the only
preparation OF beef containing rs eItiJ-e nllfr[
ho'is properties IL contains blood-makiny, force
generating aud life-susialning 9roperties invalua-
ole Tor Indigestion, dyspepsia nervous prostration
anu Az FORMS OF general debility, also, IN all en-
teebled conditions, whether ths result OF exhans
uon, nervous prostrat on, Over-worx or acute dis
ease, particularly II resultlng from pulmonary
eompialnts Sap Yd Caswell Hazard b Co, pr1pretors
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

ORANGE UAKEs.-Beat two cups OF
sugar and one large tablespoonful OF
butter together, and the yelks of two
eggs; then add the whites, beaten to q
stiff frotb; o-e cup of milk, two tea
cups of flour, with two teaspoonfuls of
baking powder sifted in flour, with
lemon extract; bake in Jelly paus. Fill
ling-Two oranges, one lemon, CRATE
the yellow rind and add the Juice, one
cup of sugar, one tablespoonful OF
cornstarch, one cup of water; boil un-
I'll a smooth paste. Cool before spread.
ing between the cakes.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

The restoration TO health of our child
we considered uncertain. When two
weeks old she caught cold For IS months
was not allie to breathe through her nos
trlls. Upon usirg Ely's Cream Balm her
difficulty is removed, she hresthes natural
ly.-Mr. Il Mrs. j. NJ. Smith, OSego, N
Y. Price so cents.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

Snow FLAKE CAKE.-Cream, one anC
halt cups OF sugar, one cup of butter
Add the beaten yelks of three eggs
Sift together two cups of flour and a
dessert spoonful of baking powder.
Add cupful of flour to the cream,
butter and sugar, then half teacup oi
milk, tine remainder of the flour and
the whites of the eggs. Beat all to-
gether. Bake in Jelly cake tins. Frost
each layer aud sprinkle with grate,l
eocoanut.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1884-07-23

One night after the drug store had
been closed and all was dark within,
the Quinine Bottle leaned over and
whispered to the Morphine Jar:
Say, let's put up a JOB on the clerk. ="
"How?"
"Why, You come over here and stand
in my place, and I'll go there and stand
in yours"
"Oh, No; know your little game.
You think if You go: in my place you'd
do all the business. But you needn't
fatter yourself. No drug clerk ever
made the mistake of giving quinine for
morphine"