Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1884-12-18
Statistics and Women.

Statisticians arc unmarried men rs
matter of course. The natural antipa
thy of all womankind to all figures rem
ders that much certain. What woman
ever lived who would consent to live II
TIE snme house with n man addicted L
adding things up. striking averages
working out problems morning. moon
and night. What pleasure could any
woman get from a new bonnet. when
conscious that her life partner, on look
ing at it. would at once begin TO com
pute the comparative annual eXpendi-
ture on bonnets and standing armicsP
What woman Of ordinary feminine in
stincts would put herself in the way of
becoming a subject for the manufacture
of perpetual sums in arithmetic?
4 tolerably adequate acquaintance
with feminine tastes enables us TO say,
therefore, with confidence, that statis-
ticians are always and necessarily I'M
married men; and that accounts for the
fact that in reckoning up earnings and
other matters pertaining to industrial
and social statistics, they always class
married women under the head Of
persons unemployed, to the utter
>
facts.
To paraphrase Mr.. BUNDLES indig-
nant exclamation, II statistics suppose
female heads Of households to be un-
employed, statistics is q idiot and a
ass! Let statistics try it onceI' That
is to say, let the slaJistician who calmly
sets down married women rs 'unenl-
ployed," put himself in a married wo-
mans place for little while by way OF
experiment
Let him learn by experience the total
dopravity OF inanimate things, and the
maleyolent tendency of dirt to accumu-
late Let him try his prentiee-hanG
on the management OF = cook and
chambermaii and laundress Of yari-
Gus and conflicting tcmpcrs who agree
in nothing but an iudispositiou 10 do
any work that can be avoided, con-
viction that Thursdays OUT ought to
include most OF the other days and all
the nights of the week. and n uniform
prejudice in favor of mendacity and in
science. Let him run up and down
stairs fifty times in forenoon; superin-
tend affairs in kitchen, laundry and bed
rooms; see that dinner is served on
time, the ironing got ont out OF the
way" the windows kept properly pol
ished, the rooms swept and busted and
''Dckcd up. Let him keep Johnnio's
waist and trousers, and Mary's pima
fore mendcd, and all the stockings
darucd. Let him have il on his mind
TO keep the boys from breaking their
necks. and the girls from falling into y
rage and indulging in such extremely
un.oYely expressions as You mean old
thing" aud $50 there nowP' Let him
be charged with the duty OF seeing that
the clothes are clean, faces washed and
heads coEIbcd for dinner. Let him Try
his hand ut all this every day, and then
let him tear the whole establishment TO
pieces twice year for q debaueh of
''house cleaning.
We have lett the management of the
baby-the young gentleman or lady
whose sole concern ii is in life to estab-
HsA and maintain his or her supremacy
in the household wholly out OF the ac-
count. because we wish TO be fair and
include i'm our list only those things
which every married woman has on
her hands. b. taking the list as it
stands. viii any statistician make cx-
pertinent OF this sort OF Unemployment?
The plain fact is-and everybody but a
confirmed figure mouger can see il for
himself that the most busiy employed
persons in this working world of ours
are those women VINO are NJ the heads
Of households And if it be answered
that however busy they may Je their
industry Yields no return in earnings,
let the dOuuter OF that make the rial
OF dispensing for time with the fcmi-
nine supervision OF his household; we
do not ask that he shall keep any ac-
count OF he consequent increase in bis
expenditures; what Mr. Manulni calls
'tne demntiOn ,otai' will be sufficient
" convincing 10 make the experiments
or ever afterwards regard the laDors Of
his domestic partner as about the most
profitable employme1. - him that is
possib.e.-M l. COM AeireriSer.