Bismarck tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, D.T. [N.D.]) 1878-1884, 1884-01-25
tan adventure if he could Only reduce the swell
ing 90 that on the journey home his fellow pas
sengers would not regard him Is being dadiab
enough to wear . hustle.
PRESCRIBED FOR An INDIAN

fHESCHkn BED EOh AN 1ND1A An
A burly warrior from the Berthold agency
walked into one of our drugstores Yesterday and
by pathetic signs and retarded flow of nom
plussed English, gave the prescription clerk -
he intimated that riot was in progress in his
central district, and he wanted an adequate
force sent in there to quell it. He said that in
an unguarded moment he had been induced to
monkey with the cold minoe pie of the pale-
face, and that he was now reaping even q be
had sown, and that he felt that If relief didn't
soon come in the shape of some sort of balm
for his wounded feelings, he would treat the
happy hunting grounds to . premature invasion.
and that there would be one mouth less to beg
secondhand grub for in his family circle. Tho
clerk wasn't in the habit of prescribing for
Indians, but he is an ambitious cuss, and i
thoroughly welded to bis profession, and it
struck him that the dusky patient would be .
good for an experimental research into tho
virtue of q new cure of his own invention. His
argument was that if he could create in the midst
of the Indian feeling of glad surprise and 60
static astonishmentit would attract the attention
of the pain andft would almost unconsciously
lose it's grip on his vtals and devote its entire At
tention to the melee going on around it. To give
his experiment professional look, he examined
the Indians tongue, and said, ''Um men," felt
his pulse and said, "ohv' listened to the pulsa-
ton of his heart and said, "aw!' asked him for
his political opinions and said, "yes, yes!' and
said that the iliad artery seemed to be in juxts-
position to the hermshoidal influx of the um-
bilical hypogastrium, thus causing the pancrea
to antagonize the left auricle of the kidneys
and cause them to Hanimadvert against the ary-
tenoid cartilege of the hypochondriac cupalo.
but he thought he could pull him through all
right. He said all this without batting has
eyes or changing oountenanoe, just a. an old and
hardened doctor would, and then he assumed
reflective attitude for brief moment and dis
appeared behind the scenes where the conjuring
is performed. He took two seidlitz powders,
white one and blue one, diluted them in sepa-
rate glasses, came out with hopeful look a.
his face and gave the Indian to understand that
other in quick succession. The Indian had fro
quented the saloons about town in his leisure
moments and had seen prominent and indaen-
tial citizens 60 through the same indentical mo-
tions, and thought everything was all right He
engulfed the meek looking fluids and then st
down and folded his hands to await results.
They came with seemingly undue haste and
astonished the Indian as much as they did the
clerk. At first the face of the dusky son-of- .
gun assumed . look of patient expectancy; then
look of grave doubt overspread his galvanized
face, which was in turn supplemented by an ex-
preston of deep Concern. By this time The
two drugs had met and had Joined their for
tunes and the Indian began to effervesce. He
effervesoed all over the surrounding bric- brae
and shot the ex tied fluid clear up to the ssseE
vonaica jar on the top shelf He continued in
an active state of eruption for several seconds
and then started for the door, varying the mo
notony of the trip by effervescing with per-
sistence worthy of better cause. When be
reached the sidewalk he clasped an awning pest
in fond and loving embrace and poured out his
woes, just as some of the prominent young meH
do when the spirit moves them. When his
troubled soul was,sgain at peace he Strengthened
up, felt of his stomach, waited moment to see
if it was really true, and then walked away With
a smile of sweet contentment playing hide-and-
seek over his face and every vestige Of the pain
gone. The clerk looked after him q moment
and then said to the bystanders that if doctors
would use little common sense and less de-
ceased language there would be less pain and
o,,hfor;ro IN thia tronh1,,na world