davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19
NUMBER s
An Avaricious Age.

A great many people call the pres.
eht age an avaricious one. The Amer
can, as rule, thinks of the almioh-
~ dollar in all of his transactions.
whether in the pursuit of wealth.
health or pleasure. The general ten.
dency OF our race is toward excess,
ana this should he carefully guarded
against. The love of money is gen.
orally credited with being the root of
all evil, but all people seem to be
after plenty of the root. 1t cannot be
told from the phraseology of the fol-
lowing whether the writer intended
a Wholesale cure or whether he wish.
ed to go into little speculation:
JAMESTOWN, PA.
DR.. S. B. HARTMAN g. Co-At
what price will you furnish PERuNA
oy~tfe gallon / am afflicted win
neuralgia and catarrh. l have taken
three bottles of PERUNA and it is
helping me.
l.. B. MOATs.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19
"NOW, w vas Dat ?"
l.. B. MOATs.

Ihe Interior tells this story of a
Pennsylvania Dutchman, who was
not very learned, but who was never
ashamed of his religion.
In his neighborhood there was a
skeptic, who said: "You can't be-
lieve anything you can't UNDER
stand" And so one of the better
class of people asked the Dutchman
if he would not haye a conversation
with him. He said "Yes, ifyou tink
best"
"Have you any objection to the
neighbors coming in ?"
emo; shust as you tink best.n
So they made the appointment.
and everybody was there. The old
gentleman came in, and laid by his
hat, and was introduced to the skep-
lie; when he suddenly began by say
ing:
Vel, now, look here! I pleefs
the Bible; vat you plepfs ?"
Sald he; u don't believe anything
l can't understand.
"Oh, you must be one very smart
man! L vas mighty glad meet you.
ask you some questions. The Odder
day | vas ridding along the road, and
L meet yon dog, and that dog he had
one OF his ears stand up in this way,
and the odder he stand down so,
Now Wy vas dat ?"
Now, that was very unhandy lust
then,-very unhandy. He either had
to explain achy the dog had one ear
standing up and the other standing
down, or else say he did not believe
it. So he said, II don't know"
"Oh, then you are not so very
smart after all. l ask you anodder
question. l saw in John Smidth's
clover patch the clover come up so
nice! And | loOded over in de fields
and dere vas John Smidth's pigs, and
dere come out hair on DER packs ;and
in the very same clover patch vas his
sheep, and there come out WOOL on
DER packs. Now Wv vas dat 2"
Now this was as bad as the other,
because the same perpIexity arose.
He had to explain Dhy there was
hair on the back of the pig, or wool
on the sheep, and as he could not tell
why, therefore he had no business to
believe it. Finally, he said, 81 don't
know"
"Vell, said the Dutchman, "You
are not half so smart as you think
you are. Now 1 asks you anodder
question: Do you pleef dere is a
God ?"
"No; II don't believe any such nom
sense"
"Oh, yes! l hear about you long
ago. l hear about you; my Bible
knows about you for in my Bible he
says, THE fool hath said IN his heart,
there is no God > but you big fool; you
6Ja6 ii right out"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19
Where are Your Foreheads?

1t is about time some one was ap-
pointed to make an investigation on
the subject and see whether the girls
really have any fore
heads, or whether they have all
"gcne off," like Pats gun, with
"bang" A sensible writer in The
LatelLigencer says that men seem to
wear them as they used to do. And
ladies, also, of advanced or advancing
years. But as l go to the city daily,
and see in the street, and on the cars,
and ferry boats whole bevies of bright
and beautiful girls, am constantly
wondering at, if not admiring, the
ingenuity displayed in covering up,
hiding, and practically getting rid of
this crowning feature of the human
face divine. What it has done, or
what change has passed upon it, that
it should be so ANONYMOUSLY expell.
ed from sight, l am unable to dis
cover or imagine. Time was when
lover might have been as much en-
raptured with his mistress's fair brow
as with her beautiful eyes, but now
ne can only sing, if he sings at all,
the fascinating frizz, the delightful
puff, or the lovely bang his lady
wears, behind which her forehead
long since disappeared.
To me it seems against nature. II
she had wanted the forehead covered
up with hair, she'd have made il
grow there, like the beard on a mans
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19
About Titles,

=. V. Nasby thus writes to the To-
ledO Bldle: SOutherners of all class
es have a most delightfully."- absurd
love for titles-ciVil and military
but they are not conferred upon
strangers indiscriminatey. For
Louisvillian to introduce his friend
from abroad bya simple title of"Mis-
ter" would be to belittle himself for.
as man is known by the company
he keeps the more elevated is his own
position. To haye colonel friend is
to reflect glory upon himself, and, in
a lesser degree, the>friendship of a
Judge or governor.
but, as | said, they do not throw
titles about indiScriminateIy. They
have a system in it.
Are you clean. .shaven, or with sim
pie side whiskers without mustache?
title is given you.
iG@ are introduced by your Ken
lucky friend as Judge" so-and-so, a
beard being as an especial appendage
to the military profession, and a
shaVen face essential to the bench.
On the other hand, if you wear
beard with a mOustache, a military
The rank you occupy depends
largely up2n the time of night. Thus,
before the first regular drink you are
introduced as "Captain," the second
promotes you to "Major," the third
TO "Cunnel," and the fourth to Gen
eral," and you would keep on were
there higher titles.
The same order of promotion is OF
served if you are IA civilian-that is,
in the matter of beard. AS the con-
Ylvlal glass passes by the way liz
uor takes on the appearance of ne
cessity here to be considered AS a
promoter of conyiviality merely
you are promoted the same way.
You climb the ladder of preferment
from simple Honorable" to
Judge" and finally to "GovernOr,"
which is the limit to human grand
eur, as under the old idea of State
sovereignty the governor of State,
especially a State like Kentucky, out
ranked the Presidency,
1t is not as bad here as it is report
ed in Texas, for here the assumption
OF titles or their omission is merely
amusing while there, if reports be
true, danger may ensue from omis.
sion at least. 1t is written that a
stranger approaching the city of Dali
las addressed a native upon the high
way thus:
"Mister, how far is it to Dallas 2"
The man addressed eyed him for a
moment, then whipping out his re-
yolver covered him with this quaint
remark:
"Mlster! Mister! Stranger, Ker-
mel or Judge, or die !"
When properly addressed the re
quired information was given and the
two parted amicably.
But this is an amiable weakness.
There are no more pleasant men any
where, no more hospitahle, and il
there is something of sham in their
assumption Of chivalry, it is at least
n leaning towards virtues side. They
would all be knights were there any
demand in this practical world for
knights, Were there any call for res
cuers Of virgins and slayers of dragons
in this age of rolling-mils and Pull.
man palace cars, they would be the
most gallant Of rescuers and slayer-.
If they do hold on to out worn tradI.
tions, it is something that they grill
! the good ones.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19
A New England Law Suit.

| NOW EnS lduu udW OulG.
Daniel Webster who was fond of a
good story, told few illustrating his
early life in New Hampshire. One
evening at convivial party. where
he aud several distinguished lawyers
were present. the conversation hap
pen@ to turn on the legal profession.
"When was young practitioner, :"
saicsMr. Webster, "there was but one
man at the New Hampshire bar of
whom / was afraid, and that was old
Barnaby. There were but few men
whOdared to entert the lists with him.
Onone occasion Barnaby was en-
| ployed to defend suit for piece of
Land brought by little, grabbed,
cunrgng lawyer called Bruce. Bruce's
case was looked upon as good as lost
! WIZ WAS ascertained that Barnahy
was retained against him. The suit
came on for trial, and Barnaby found
that Bruce had worked hard, and left
no stone. unturned to gain the vic
tory. Tie testimony for the plaintiff
was very ttrong, and unless it could
be impeacled, the case of the defend.
ant was los. The principal witness
introduced by the plaintiff wore
red coat. II summing up for the de-
fense old Bamaby commenced a furi-
Gus attack on this witness, pulling
his testimony all to pieces, and APP
pealing to the Jury if man who wore
red coat was, under any circum-
stances, to be believed. And who is
this relocated witness p exclaimed
Barnaby, but q descendant of our
common enemy, who has striven to
take from US our liberty, and would
not hesitate now todeprive my poor
client Of his land, by making any
sort of relocated shtementn During
this speech, Bruce was walking up
and down the bar, greatly excited
and convinced that his case was gone,
knowing, as he did, the prejudice of
the jury against anything British.
Whilst, howeYeL Barnaby was ges-
ticuiating and laning forward to the
jury in his eloquent appeal. his shirt
bosom opened slightly, and Bruce ac-
cidentally discovered that Barnaby
wore a red unlershirt. Bruce's coun
tenance Frightened up. Putting both
hands in hiscOat-pockets, he walked
to the bar with great confidence, to
the astopishment of his client and all
n2okers-on. Just as Barnaby con-
cIudeo' Bruce whispered in tie eesrT eeSrT CT
his efient, 'pve got him-your case
is safe : and, approaching the jury,
he commenced his reply to the
slaughtering argument of his adyer-
sary. Bruce gave a regular history
of the ancestry of his relocated wit
ness, proving his patriotism and de-
votion to the country, and his charac-
ter for truth and veracity. But what,
gentlemen of the jury broke forth
Bruce in loud strain of eloquence,
while his eyes flashed fire, what are
you to expect of man who stands
here to defend cause based on no
foundation of right or justice what
ever of a man who undertakes to
destroy our testimony on the ground
that my witness wears a red coat,
when, gentlemen of the juryn here
Bruce made a spring, and, catching
Barnaby by the bosom of the shirt,
tore it open displaying his red fan
nell 'when Mr.. Barnaby himself
wears red flannel coat conceal un-
der blue one?' The effect was elec-
trical; Barnaby was beaten at his
own game. and Bruce gained the
cause" Exchange.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
s , e EE9S
PORTUGAL GRAPE WINE,

UNFERNTENTED GRAPE JUICE.
Used IN the principal Churches for Commu-
nion Excellent for Females, Weakly Persons
and the aged.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19

Senator Vance tells this story
"When Judge Tourgee was on the
bench in North Carolina an old chum
of his was brought before him on
trifling charge. During the trial the
prisoner said something that highly
displeased his honor "Do YOU
mean, sternly said the Judge, to bring
this court into contempt@ The pris-
Oner smiled and said: Judge, YOU
have known me for many years, and
we have been friends. haven't we?,
THAT is fact said the Judge. You
would do me a favor within reason,
even now, would you not? Very
likely responded his honor, all gra-
ciousness and good humor, but what
is it." WELL retorted the SCAMP.
do not press me too hard on the
point Of contempt this morning."
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19

fHnn a week at home. $500 outfit free. Pay
KILL absolutely sure. No risk. Capital not
AHbM required, Reader ifyOu wantbusness
A1D at which persons of either sex young
"r old, can make great pay for all the time
they work, with absolute certainty, write Tor
particulars to IL. HALLETr & Co., Portland
Maine.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19

Life is too short to try half a dozen
different kinds of"Sure Cures, :" when
one suffers with IA cough drcold stick
to the best aud use DIR. Bulls Cough
Syrup; it will cure your cough and
never disappoiut you. All druggists
sell 1t at twenty-five cents q bottle.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-04-19

nMTFH Send six cents for postage,
UgsFsf and receive free, II costly box
MahEa Of goods which viii help you
~ SSAS5Aa. to more money right away
sex, succeed from the first hour. The broad
road to fortune opens before the workers. alb
solutciy sure. At once address, TRUE d Co.,
Augusta, Maine.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-12-30
CONSULTATION FREE AT tn.
UNION BLOCK,
hsin Street, Between Second and
Third South Street.

z. S-Invalids should call at once or write
ior "list Of questions" majority of cases
can be treated just as successfully by letter
es though personally examined. Medicine
sent everywhere ia concealed packages and
express or postage prepaid
T S.-Send 81 % for DIR. FOoT's latest
medical work, Good Sense, or How to
secure Health ana Retain It"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-12-30
Dr.. Foot Offers $1,000
FOR ANY
FEMALE DLSEA SEES

That he cannot cure, when claiming to.
practice that ne usually can tell a woman
her many troubles WITHOUT ASKING A
CUES rION-SIMPLY BY LOOKING AT
HER.
There is not one case in one hundred that
cannot be relieved and cured in few
weeks. and yet there are few women who
are not afflicted with one or more inCumbers
Of this vast army of disease and death.
Among the most important may be enume
rated DISPLACEMENTS, Inflammation, u
cerstion, LEUCORRA, Painful, SCANTY
and Irregular MeustrustiOn, NERVOUS
Ead GENERAL DEBILITY, BARRENNESS,
e.c.. and many Well-known symptoms.
Uterine Cancer and liberation, DiSplace-
IneutS etc., can hencefOrth be cured Mt
your homes Ynnueed not 60 East to suffer
from TEE cd and unsuccessful treatment of
the knife pessCTieS and bungliug and IN
lstUr1l instruments yet in vogue with the
old school pr. ctjce OF ten or fifteen years
ago WILL VISIT YOUR RESIDENCES
when desired, and thorough examinations
made when necessary.
ONE VISIT only is required in a majority
q chronic diseases. First visit low price.
The Doctor does business on the square, and
viii tell every patient as NEAR THE
TRUTH rs possible. II the Doctor believes
that your case can be greatly improved or
cured, he viii tell you SO, and If not he will
not To e your case under treatment. Hun
dfeds OF Western testimonials to be seen
st the Office already.
OFFICE HOURS from 10 am. to 4 pm.
and from TO 9p.m.
E%- Terms very low this month.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-12-30
On an after
Saturday, Dec. 2Oth. 1854
Trains will run as follows:
STANDARD MOUNTAIN TIME

Connects with Utah Central train leaving
Salt Lake at 7.40 am.
Connects with Utah Central train arriv-
ing at Salt Lake at 6.4Op.m.
/ Stop only upon signal.
". ". RITTER,
mar Il Supt-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-12-30
salt Lake City, Utah.

An institution of this kind is sadly needed
in the West and il is the intention OF DR..
FOOT JR, that this institution shall be
ABOVE REPROACH in all respects, and be
come the most renowned in the world for its
skill and reliability and has no doubt bat
an experienced and reliab Specialist will
be HAILED WITH JOY by the unpreiudiced
and thoughtful Public.
After graduating at the best schools. Of
medicine America affords, and visiting
various European colleges and hospitals,
and being qualified by special study ana
practice, AID receiving the best advice and
Instructions from the most eminent spec
lali>t in the East, DR.. FOOT, Us, has become
wonderfully skilled and with his great pre-
paratloD 8nd improved instruments, new
yeget bic medicines and by the ald or eE-
tensive electrical appliances and batteries,
Electrical, Turkish Medicated and Natural,
Mineral, Hot Spu 1gs Baths. and the re
m8rkable W5ftTs of Utah's Salt Lake and
beautiful o2iny climate, he Is enabled to
cure the vast majority OF those diseases and
deI0rmlties heretofore deemed lncurable
and usually gjyen ID by the family physi-
clan, as sll FORMS of Head and ThrOat dis
enses. such p CatarEh, IOnsiiitis, Pharyngi-
It's, LaryDgiiis,, TracheitiS BRONCHITIS,
KIDNEY DISEASES, such as Dyspepsia,
Indigestion, Constipation, Dizziness, HEAD
ACHE, Diabetes, LAME and WEAK
BACKS etc. All Bladder, Rectuns and
SEXUAL DISEASES. Pimples, BlOtehes and
remov d. RHEUMATISM in all stages.
Neuralgia of long standing All Brain,
NERVOUS, Debilitating and Blood diseases, |
and offers $500 for a test case of any form
of SYPHILIS that he cannot CURE COM
PLETELY. Heart Disease, Fit, SEMINAL
WEAKNESS, GOn-and elect, LOST MAN !
HOOD, etc. PARALYSIS, DrOpsy, etc |
Cancers and HEMORHOIDS of all kinds re-
moved speedily without knife pain or blobd. |
Ali diseases of the Feet, IngrOwing Nails |
Bunions, etc. All diseases Of the EYE and |
EAR treated with skill and care equal to |
any oculist and aurist in the world. |
0ptdalmia, GranulatiOns. etc. Cataracts /
removed. Cross eyes Strengthened. DEAF |
NESS. OttorhGa and all affections of the
ear cured. Tape Worms removed in three
hours
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-12-30
NEW FIRM.

ITAVJNG PURCHASED THE Il mess
III of z. r. Madeira & CO.. we III con
anue same at the old stand, under the firm
anne of p ICE & Needham We hope by
L romptness and attention {, business and
nandliug only the best goods, TO retain all
he old customers and add many new ones.
ELI L. PRICE,
THOMAS B. NEEDHAA.
October list, 1884,
Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-06-07
Indian Conturors.

The stories told by eastern travellers Of
the tricks they have witnessed by con.
iurors in India and other countries al
most surpass belief and would be wholly
disbslieved were not the testimony 10
universal and credible as to forbid all
doubt or skepticism. A correspondent
who describes how . Hindoo magician
made boy disappear in . cloud Of
smoke and then brought him forth out
Of vessel which he caused to come out
Of the earth, tells Of the following extra.
ordinary tricks: zone Of these consists
In the copjuror taking . ball Of wood
that has been perforated in several
places, and through which strings were
passed. and hurting it into the air. Up
II weIt, dragging the cord after it, and
finally disappearing. The head man now
instructed boy assistant to mount,
which he did. climbing up the cord,
until finally the spectators lost sight 0f
him, or thought they did. The fakir
now seemed to be in distress at losing
him, and called loudly; then, as If in .
rage, he seized the rope and clambered
up after him, having . knife in his
mouth. Ia q few moments . diainem;
bered leg, all bloody, fell to the earth.
then another. several fingers, and finally
the bead and trunk; finally the old fakir
himself appeared, his clothes covered
with gore. looking like butcher. As
soon q he recovered from his evident
exertion he went through some mum
merry, and collecting the dismembered
and bleeding parts gave the body push,
waved his hands over It, and seizing the
body by the hand jerked it to its feet
and of it walked. nothing the matter
with it. In Bangkok similar feat was
witnessed few years ago by Ralph
Churchill. The juggler tossed . rope
ladder into the air, and sent goats, dogs,
cats, boys. alligators up one after an
other. All of them appeared running
toward him from distant qsarter ten
minut,s later. These are tricks that
seem almost superhuman. yet are ludi-
crously simple when known"
Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-06-07
Parsmns Paper.

Rsrafline, or wax paper, il meetinS
with largely increasing demand every
year. II is used in wrapping up candy,
butter, cheese, provisions, tobacco, soap
druggists supplies, kid gloves, hardware
and all other articles which II is wished
70 keep air and moisture tight. Paraf
fine paper is tissue paper thoroughly and
evenly saturated with paraffine.
It is made by running tissue paper in
the web. by means of rolls, through q
bath Of hot paraffine, with which 1t be.
comes thoroughly saturated. After
leaving the bath the paper passes
through other rolls, which even the pa.
raffine. II 10 then cooled by fans, which
''ssts" the paraffine, and it is then
wound into rolls. Itsmanufacture wai
patented in 1877.
The patentee produced that year about
400 resms; in 1878 about 6,OO(
rsams. and in 1879 about sS, 900 reams
In 1883 the production was about 3O0.,
900 rcams, and the estimated increase
this year will bring the production up tc
$50, 900 reams. As the paper sells at 81
per ream, the value Of the estimated
product this year is $3.50, 900.
The patent is owned by New York
parties. Its evidently = valuable one,
and has been frequently infringed, but
has been sustained in New York and
Philadelphia by suits, and an in.
Junction has been obtained against
one Boston concern which was
manufacturing the paper, while an.
other Boston concern settled up at the
beginning OF q suit. and q third suit is
now pending against another Boston
firm which Is manufacturing it. Paper
dealers state that considerable quaint.
ties Of the PAPER have been msnufac.
tured by various concerns in this city in
years past. who have gone out Of the
business for fear of prosecution.
This paper, when used as wrapper
for candy, is very costly 10 the candy
consumer, for inasmuch as from 40 to
SO cents per pound is paid for the can.
dy. the same price is paid for wrappers
-Esehaage.
Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-06-07
supsrstision. Of stage People.


ACTORS are . sapsntitioas set Of
people, are they not!'
Eyes, as q rule, may say they are.
though the better class are NO more
supentitious than members Of other
professions. There is vast deal of
su perstition among the people Of this
world, II you were only aware Of it..
The actors are, in q sense, public char
acters, and all of their eccentricities are
readily discerned, talked about, and
magnified.'
'sYou cant get an actor to commence
anything on Friday, can you? George
X night told me that he would not pre-
sent new piece on that day, because,
| if he was not superstitious himself, his
people would be Influenced by their be.
lief in the uslueky day, and would not
be at their best"
"Yes, that is all so. Actors are su-
perstitious about Friday. Another curl
Gus notion is that the presence OF q
yellow clarionet in the orchestra brings
bad luck. Many aud many a time in
my travels have l seen our manager
make some member Of local band get
up and take his yellow clarionet from
the house. Few actors will walk undel
q ladder II they can help it, and greai
many managers will not have GROSS
eyed man in their companies. Whsr
we are travelling there is very notice
able aversion to rooms in boats or hotsli
numbered thirteen, and some actor
will not travel in COMPANY composet
of thirteen people. nor ride from tn
depot to the hotel in an omnibus will
thirteen passengers. l have Travelled
in companies Of thirteen, and alway
had the bsst Of success when with them
The more intelligent actors are ont
growing these superstition but the
are handed down to them like all stag
traditions, and drilled into them frol
childhood, 20 it 10 not strange il some Q
the old notions follow them throug life.
T. Theatrical Manager, IN Aariett
Leader.