The Mineral argus., 1884-08-07
fDEUCED DISAGREEADLE, BY JOVE.
A Young Eng1ishman's Criticisms on
American ~Customs-Some Improve
ments Suggested.

ments Suggested.
From the Kansas City Times.
BLOW this country, Isayl" remarked
a young Englishman in the corridor
of a Fifth street hotel yesterday after
noon, yawning spasmodically and
throwing away a half-smoked cigarette.
"What's the matter? ?" inquired a
sympathizing Times reporter.
"Oh, I'm going back again to Lon
don. The way people here live and
work is far to much for me. The idea
of working at the Office all day and late
at night and frequently on a Sunday
It's too much, you know, by George!"
Much difference in Office hours be-
tween your country and ours?"
well, 1 should just say there is. l
should like to see the average English
clerk commence work before 6 o'clock
in the morning, and every n leaves at
6 o'clock. Then we have a half holiday
on Saturday and bank holidays, and
that sort of thing you know"
"The English clerks get well paid,
no doubt, in comparison with the
American ?"
"Oh, well, our clerks are not so we'll
paid, / suppose. A man who gets 40
shillings a week considers himself
pretty well off. You see everybody in
England learns to be a clerk, and it is
supposed to be mira dig. to learn a
trade. T~radespeople, You know, are
looked down upon, and are in fact, very
inferior. They make more money and
obtain higher salaries, and 1 think its a
beastly shame; but the employment
sought for by most young fellows is
book keeping, and of course the market
can be o~verstocked and salaries are re-
duced in consequence"
Been long over here?"
"Oh, about six months; and that is
six months too long. l think the
Americans are awfully rude and plain
spoken. When l was IN Chicago l
asked one of the railway Office officials
if he could obtain a position for me.
He said: Are you out of workY The
idea of asking a gentleman if he is out
of work I told him was temporarily
out of employment, and he then said
What can you do? oh / said i am
q very fair book keeper What do you
think he said" Did you ever hear such
a brutal expression in all your life?"
did you catch on? to use an Ameri-
canism."
"Catch what? oh, I see what you
mean. Yes, he offered me an engage
ment and 1 accepted it; but 1 found 1
had no leisure tune, so 1 resigned, and
tried one or two other things. Thought
it would be awfully jolly to go on a
farm for a little while, and I did
So, but the work was too hard, and /
went back again to Chicago. By the
by, do you know that when / arrived
from England I came straight through
to Chicago, and it was shockingly cold
of course. I was wearing an English
fur cap and corduroy clothes, and when
/ got off the train at the station some
boys called out, What is it?' I said, i
beg your PARDON and they repeated,
What is ftp and laughed as though
they had made some amazingly witty
observation. 1 gradually became on
scious that they were making game of
me, and that they meant What was L.
Wasn't it a terrible position to be placed
in? So embarrassing, you know"
you seem to have come west?"
eyes, but the further away I get the
less I like the country. 1 went to one
place to seek employment and the head
of the firm asked me if L was a 'hust-
ler.'"
81 said, No, sir I am a book keeper
and then he laughed in a callous sort
of way and said he guessed / was too
gray for the place. l did not like to
ask him what he meant by gray for
fear he would think that l was not ia
miliar with the language of the country,
SO l walked away"
"You do not seem to have too great a
liking for the country? ?"
"You are right, my boy. L have Civ
en- the place a fair trial and am going
straight home. There is nothing con-
genial to me here" .
what would you suggest as a means
of improving our unfortunate country?
"Why, my dear boy, / would suggest
that in the first place you have pockets
in your billiard tables and, next, that
you employ barmaids in your hotels.
Then a fellow can pass his evenings
pleasantly and manage to survive the
hard work. How can a fellow enjoy
himself at the hotels when there are no
barmaids to chaff? The English bar
maids are so deucedly pretty, you know,
and they are a source of great attraction
to the hotels, and I am sure would take
very well here in America. You news
paper men should agitate the question,
and then there would be some induce
ment for a fellow to stay over here. I
think I'll go and take nap now Have
you a cigarette? Good-by."