The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-12-25
ng remark, l forthwith packed up the
nrecious drama hade the man who re-

my precious euusloH SOou uoIAIuS,
and, staggering under my load, made
my way out, followed by derisive
laughter, as | could have sworn.
At last got the ear of a manager
an enterprising man-whose ambition
was colossal, like my own.
But the introduction cost many g
SOW; in fact. came to the conclusion
that getting play produced was 9
deucedly expensive affair.
However, it was something that for.
tune smiled upon me. What mattered
how much | had spent in pursuit of the
tickle jade now that / had got her in
my grasp.
Once more | chartered a hanson,
and, full of smiles Failure never enter
ed my head for momen), was driven
to the managers Office, accompanied
by the colossal drama.
Take seat, Mr.. Noggles, said the
great gun, with urbanity, eying me crit
with approval, as l flatter-
Ell myself.
| had read and heard of many a gen
ius having been in appearance latter.
Gemalion; but here was | a spic and
span swell, just turned out by Bond
street tailor, faultless as to dress, and q
man of parts, as | fiattered myself
You have something good, | hear,
he remarked, blandly. "A drama in
tifty-two acts"
Yes! my dear sir, you have been
correctly informed" | replied, pleas
antly; something that will make the
fortune of an enterprising manager.
and smash up all his rivals; with your
permission, | will read it to YOU"
''Thanks" he replied, drily Il have
waded through your Scenario. You
a real thunderstorm; how is
that to be done, my dear Noggles?'
| liked his familiar tone; it augured
well, and l replied lightly:
''Oh, that's easily managed-a slid
ing roof 10 be uncovered when a storm
is raging"
But it might occur at a wrong time
besides the audience might object to it.
You see, real rain and thunder end
are all very well out OF doors,
but not in"
| confess | didn't like these obiec.
tions, which savored too much of the
practical but, of course, / kept my
feelings well under control, merely re,
MY dear, sir, matters of detail need
not trouble great minds like ours. The
thing is to produce my drama"
Exactly, my dear sir; my sentiments
to tee
My hopes began to revive The bait
had evidently taken, and the name OF
Noggles would descend to posterity,
covered with laurels of fame
You will produce it?' ] remarked,
grasping his hand with feryor.
Yes, under certain conditions: cash
down to the tune of five thousand
pounds, and bills at decent intervals fol-
a similar amount; if you agree, | guar
antee to place the thing before the pub
lie promptly, regardless of expense.
"Yesn' | thought, ''at my expense.
Ten thousand pounds! >Impossiblem
Il will think the matter over" | said.
''Of course, money is no object with
me, sir.
He smiled graciously, and l took my
leave-a sadder, but wiser man. The
bar at a certain famous restaurant saw
me no more; the name of Noggles was
a thing of the extreme past there. II
of the great noises | made
(my landlady somewhat vulgarly styled
them .'hawful rows') received warn
ING, and had to vacate my pleasan,
lodgings. How true it is that misfor-
tunes never come alone.
| managed to secure lodgings in q
quiet street, and so ferocious did my
become that | at once set tC
work to invent an internal machine
that would annihilate whole army al
one blow.
My window overlooked wardrobe
establishment just opposite, at the
drawing-room window of which ap,
peared a lady, daily, of exquisite love
illness, and richly apparelled.
| was short-sighted, owing 10 the
drama | had written, but, still it was
sufficiently good to make out the charm
ing graces OF the lady in question.
In the same house as mine was a fell
low-lodger, who, morning and evening.
played the flute.
He is serenading her." l thought
"Noggles, you must enter the lists
She is very lovely, has money, nc
doubt, and is evidently smitten witt
you. Your rival must be silenced." "
| was no mean performer on the
double bass, an instrument | had too
long neglected for the perfidiou:
drama.
One EVENING" produced it, and flatter
aI 1nrSa1f that tho flI,tiSf uvac NOW hpra
| completely drowned his tootling. My
instrument gave forth a volume o
sound, at times groaning as if attacked
by very bad collie. My base riva
gained the sympathies of eur landlady
in some underhand way, and she gave
me warning.
But | was equal to the occasion. Sht
kept three cats, two dogs, parrot
several canaries. besides domestic
fowls. Taking down an old volume,
pretended to read an Act of Parliamen
prohibiting more than one of a kind o
any bird or beast being kept in any
house in the United Kingdom.
| heard no more of having to leave
but | did of my rival. who began te
learn the trombone, against whose so
norous notes my poor double bas:
stood no chance.
A diabolical idea occurred to me-,
would invite him to visit me, and play
him trick that would force him to alb
dicate both the lovely lady opposite anC
the lodgings in my favor.
| succeeded beyond my most san
guine expectations, as will presently ap
naar
Procuring q number of yellow ginger
bread cakes, placed them on my ia
bic, attaching to them pieces of wire
When he appeared l said. ferociously
"Ah, All! You die! The yellow sub
stance before you is dynamite! Swea
to abdicate everything in my favor
even to the obnoxious trombone-ol
you are blown to simthereensn'
He fled wildly from the spot, and
laughed gleefully.
But presently an inspector and tw'
constables came and took me off to tn,
station, placing the gingerbread cake
very gingerly in a bag, and despatch
ing them to Woolwich for inspection.
Ilanguished in prison whole week
when l was released, and rushed to my
lodgings, only to find that the wardrob
shop had been burned down In my ab