davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
PITH AND POINT.

THE girl with the empty pocket-bool
is the one that looks into jewelry win
dows most. .c aia.s.i l.
THERE is only one thing that is more
terrible than to say = mean thing, AND
that is to do one.
A WOMAN can choose for herself nc
truer or purer friend than the lover o.
another woman.
THE best pedestrian in the worlds
kitten, for it can make any number oi
laps minute.
MOTHER (very sweetly) to children
who have just had distribution OF
candy" What do children say when
they get candy?" Chorus "Morel"
A MOB tarred and feathered comic
singer out West fer eloping with an
other mans wife. His manager bills
him now as the @Great Feathered Song
ster."
GovERNEss-"Now, Jack, if 1 were
to give twelve pears to Maude, ten to
Edith, and three to you, what would it
be?D Jack (seed 6)-"It wouldn't be
fair"
"YEs, mamma, took three
Jumps Of sugar from the cup
board" said the little girl, con-
tritely. "That was very naughty in
deed; but, as you have confessed it, !
shall forgive you. Go and sin no more"
4Then give me the other lump only
took two"
@OH, he'd lose anything" old Mr..
Meredith, Of West hill, growled, when
the boy came back from an errand and
said he'd lost the package intrusted to
him; she'd lose anything. One day
Last week I sent him to take pickle
barrel to customer, and before he got
the barrel to the house, hope to die
if he didn't lose the bung-hole clear
out Of it, and I had to send for a cooper
to put in q new one."-Btlrdette.
He was plain old Granger, and when
his son informed him that he had de-
termined to go to college and learn
something. the old gentleman looked
straight at him and said, @Now look-a-
here, John, you may learn readin, ritin',
'rithmetic, and little Biography, but if
you grapple with any O. them dead
I'll kill you when you
come home, SOS they'll do you some
good" ."-NorTistOtU1s Herald.
Two GRAMMARIANs were wrangling |
the other day, one contending that it
was only proper to say, my wages is
high" while the other noisilY insisted
that the correct thing was, @My wages
are high" Finally they stopped day
aborer, and submitted the question to
him. (which do you say, Your wages
s high,' or Your wages are highr"
oh, off wild yer nonsense" he said, re-
'uming his pick, '@yer nayther ov We
light; me wages is low bad luck to it,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
Is Disease a Friend to Life 2

At the last anniversary meeting oi
the Medical Society of the District oi
Columbia, DR.. A. F. A. King read to q
crowded audience an essay entitled "The
Conservative Influence of Disease on
Producing Longevity"
With much force Of argument and
analysis, he labored to prove that dis
ease was not the terrible enemy to man
kind that it had been painted Ly the
terrors of humanity, but in reality was
true and bene6cent friend. He quot
ed from the celebrated DR.. Austin Flint
that "the existence of disease, rightly
considered, was an inestimable boon"
He said that the disease was not in
itself better than health, but that it con-
tributed to promote longevity relatively
to circumstances. He cited morbifc
conditions known as gastritis, rheuma-
tism, hemorrhage, mumps, and insisted,
with an earnestness that commanded
attention, and subtlety of logic that
inspired respect for his originality OF
thought, that these diseases prevented
sudden death.
In gastritis, the patient naturally re-
Trained from eating, and demanded CO.
pious draughts of cold water, treatment
which the most skillful surgeon found to
be the best. In rheumatism, the acute
pain demanded rest, and rest was found
to be just the thing needed, for the
articular symptom proved that heart
disease was the real enemy, and mus.
cular exertion was the most fatal thing
for affection Of the heart So with other
diseases.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
Detroit Free Press.

! Detrolt Free Press
II am no more guilty of crime than
an angel in heaven explained one OF
the Territorial prisoners in tho Detroit
House of Correction, when interviewed
the other day.
"But you got sentence of five years
Just the same" sai.',
so ] did. but it was undeserved, and
uncalled for, and shall live to make
them all humble themselves at nv
feet" na ..aas
Horse stealing, wasn't it?"
"Well, they called it horse stealing.
and for the sake OF harmony let it 20
At that. You see, it was in this way.
[ was riding along one day in the In
1ian Territory when observed a party
Of twenty gentlemen galloping after
me. l took to gulch to find water.
They appeared to think 1 wanted to
avoid them, and as they came up they
opened fire on me, drove me out and
gobbled me up.
"Yes."
II wounded two Of them, but ceased
firing for the sake of harmony. I
didn't want the ill-will of twenty of
the best gentlemen in the Territory.
As soon as they got me one gentleman
suggested that be run up to limb,
and, as the other nineteen were agreed.
it would have looked captious in me to
stick out. l go with the crowd every
time. and went with that one."
did they hang youY"
"Oh, yes. They were gentlemen who
lidn't talk to feel their tongues wag.
Yes, they noosed me and were happy
unit in pulling me up. They let me
down before they had gone too far,
md the leader suggested that Imight |
rs well own up to several trifes con- |
nected with my past movements"
"And you did?"
Certainly. l saw it was best to
lumor them, and made a statement.
No man ever makes anything fighting
. Whole crowd. When it came to trial
had no show. The only witness 1
lad was Choctaw Indian, who
couldn't speak English, while there
we're twenty against me-"
, "And you were convicted"
"Some folks might look upon in that
way, but l didn't. 1 simply got among
'eople who didn't appreciate me, and
he arrest and trial were merely sug-
estions that I had better come east
or my health. don't think any of
hem would call me horse thief, but
hey took a united interest in my next
We years of life and recommended me
this locality. 1 gave way to the
idgment of the majority, and here 1
m, and the only thing you can do for
le is to pass your tobacco box when
lie deputy turns his head"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
AN AUTUMN MALADRIGAL.

The light and fragrant zephyr wanton roves,
When night descends,
Along the arches Of the leafy groves;
No longer bends
The blushing rose its fair and modest head
The zephyr's kiss to meet;
Alas! the zephyr and the rose are dead;
Thus perish all things sweet;
No more
Among the richly tinted Autumn leaves
The light breeze sighs;
II chants mournful dirge; thus nature grieves
That Summer dies;
The night grows longer and the hoar frost's
breath
Begins to chill the air;
Reluctant nature yields again TO death
The flowers that bloomed so fair.
No more
Doth Corydon his Phillis fair await
Beneath the moon,
Dr. swing with her upon the garden gate
And sweetly spoon;
For when the forest leaves begin to turn,
Apart from all turmoil,
They sit within the parlor snug and burn
The old mans coal and oil.
-SomerVQle Journal.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
"Oied Poor,

at was sad funeral to me-" said
the speaker; 'the saddest i have at
tended for many years." "That Of
EdmOnson?' "Yes." "How did he
die" "Poor--poor as poverty. His
life was one long struggle with the
world and at every disadvantage. For
tune Knocked him all the while with
golden promises that were destined
never to know fulfllment." "Yet he
was patient and enduring" remarked
one of the company. Patient as a
Christian-enduring as a Martyr was
answered. Poor man! he was worthy
of better fate. He ought to have sue
ceeded, for he deserved success" did
he not succeed% questioned one who
had spoken of his patience and endur-
ance. mo, sir. He died poor, just as
/ have stated. Nothing that he put his
hand to ever succeeded. A strange
fatality seemed to attend every enter
prise" 81 was with him in his last
moments" said the other, land thought
he died rich" mo, he has nothing be-
hind" was replied. "The heirs will
have no concern as to the administra-
ton of his estate" "He left a good
name," said one. "and that is some
thing" "And legacy of noble deeds
that were done in the name of human
ity," remarked another. "And precious
examples" said third. lessons OF
patience in suffering, of hope in adver-
sity, of heavenly confidence when no
sunbeams fell upon his bewildered
path" was the testimony of another
"And high truths, manly courage and
heroic fortitude." "Then he died rich,'
was the emphatic declaration. "Richer
than the millionaire who went to his
long home on the same day, miserable
in all but gold. A sad funeral, did you
say? No, my friend, it was triumyhal
procession. Not the burial of a human
c]od, but the ceremonies attendant on
the translation of an angel Did not
succeed? Why his whole life was a
series Of successes. In every conflict
he came off the victor, and now the
yictor's crown is on his brow. Any
yrasping, soulless. selfish man, with a
moderate share of brain, may gather |
money and learn the art of keeping it;
)ut not one in hundred can conquer
)ravely in the battle of life as Edmon-
ION has conquered, and step forth from
he ranks of men a Christian hero.
No, no, he did not die poor, but rich
ich in neighborly love and rich in
celestial affections. And his heirs
AVE an interest in the administration
# his affairs. A large property has
'een left, and let them see to it they do
ot lose precious things through false
stimates and ignorant depreciation
here are higher things to gain in this
'orld than wealth that perishes. He
les rich who can take his treasure
nth him to the new land where he is
, abide forever; and he who has to
ave all behind on which he has
laced his affections dies poor indeed"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
The Rural County Fair.
Chicago Sun.

Chicago sun.
Bless the man who invented the
county fair. There is freedom for you,
my city bound pilgrim. Yon can enjoy
yourself to your hearts content with
out restraint. The vast throngs of
plain farmer folks who f)ck to the
place of attraction from the adjacent
country about, would give your fancy
food for a year to come. There's old
Brown from Swamp Hollow organizing
his clan of ardent admirers about the
swine pen. See the majestic and all
sufficient porker with his funny eyes,
comical tail and heavy chops. Isn't he
creature of majestic sonorousnessp
Aye! and he's the humorist of the show.
The learned pig in the tent, where the
living skeleton fiirts with the bearded
girl, can't hold a candle to the fat
porker, who leans against the side of
his pen for the boys to scratch his back.
The fiery and ferocious stallion, whose
glossy coat CLEANS in the sunlight, is
the figure of tragedy. The mild-eyed
and sweet-breathed OK, with his trim
hooks and mighty neck, is the figure of
melodrama; and the fat porker, with
his twisted tail and funny eyes, is the
hogsonifcation of comedy, pure and
The merry-go round, with his gay
horses and easy-backed seats, is revolv- |
ing at great rate. The boys and girls |
of the rural parts all patronize this ma
chine of fun, frolic and friction. The |
great big strapping girl with a back
like hired man-she can milk more
COWS in the dairy than any two men
comes forward for ride. She's
eighteen if she's day, but her cheeks
are as soft and rosy as a babes. She
hasn't got into long dresses yet either.
often wonder why it is that city girls
age so much more rapidly than country
A city girl of twelve or thir-
een-a creature with milk teeth, but
away up in false decorum, wouldn't do
what this rosy, bouncing Hebe of the
'ural parts did, for block of seven
tory buildings. Bless her sweet young
leart; why, she crawled upon the sorrel
lorse with an old gold tail, and with
10Th feet into the stirrups the same as
veil, as a boy rides, and cried 'g'lang'
With vim that started the merry-go-
ound at a Maud S pace. It's all right,
he's girl yet, and jolly girl with a
cart as pure as the blue canopy of
eaven above. She's worth score of
our limp, lank maidens who eat cray
MS in school instead of beef; for beef is
o vulgar, and is apt to give a person
cry rude color. The giant swing is
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
THE CLEARING HOUSE.
How the Institution II Conducted
An Admirable System for
Adjusting Balances.

Omaha Excelsior. Nov. l.
Years ago the bankers of London
found that their transactions in checks,
bills and drafts upon each other were
SO large as to call for the hourly use of
vast sums of money by all of them. To
remedy this Inconvenience and actual
loss of money, as well as to save time
and trouble, they formed a clearing
house" The banks were associated as
one, and their transactions between
each other became as simple as trans
ferring money from the right hand to
the left. Up to four o'clock each day,
all debts and credits due or held by
these banks were set off, one against
the other, and the balances made
known to each member, In this way,
five dollars was made to do the work
of one hundred.
This admirable system has been
adopted in all the large commercial
now six national banks in Omaka, and
they have found it necessary to organize
clearing house, which commenced
operations Wednesday afternoon, in
room of the First National bank. A
short explanation of its operations may
be interesting.
Each bank has a clearing house
clerk" who assorts all the checks of
other banks on his into separate bundles
and makes list, which can be proved |
by the book on the teller's counter.
Around each package is a band, bear
ing the amount and the words, (if it is
Tor instance the Omaha National,) |
Omaha on First" Clearing house
paper consists of checks, notes payable
1t banks, acceptances and certificates
If deposit.
At 1.30 p. M, each day all these
Jerks have to be at their desks in the
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
Burke and the Grasshopper.

The greatest men have been noted
for the breadth of their sympathy.
Everything, even the most trivial,
seemed to interest them. They gave .
broader meaning to the famous line of
Terence than he dld-"I am a man,
and think nothing alien to me that in
terests men," ~
While Edmund Burke was preparing
for the trial of Warren Hastings, he
made an appointment with Sir Philip
Francis to read over some important
papers relating to the case. Sir Philip
called, and found Mr.. Burke in his gar
den, holding grasshopper.
What beautiful insect is this |"
said Burke. @Observe its structure,
its legs, its wings, its eyes,"
How can you,' answered Sir Philip,
spend your time in admiring grass
hopper when you have so many things
of moment to attend tor"
yet Socrates" observed Burke, 3if
we credit Aristophanes, attended to
much smaller insect, and actually meas
ured the proportion which its size bore
- the space it passed over in skip.
think the skip of grasshopper does
not exceed its length. Let US see.'
my dear friend" replied the impa-
tient and unsympathizing Sir Philip,
II am in grea. hurry. Let us go in,
and you listen while / read these pa
pers to you"
They walked into the house, and Sir
Philip began to read to the listening
apparently Burke. Suddenly the
reader paused to find misplaced
sheet. sos
Il think" broke in Burke, @that nat
uralists are now agreed that locusta,
not cicada, is the Latin word for
yrasshopper. What is your opinion,
Sir Philip" rn
my opinion" answered Sir Philip,
rolling up his papers, @is that till the
is out of your head it will
oe idle to talk to you of the concerns
If India;" and he walked out of the
lOuse. Hff e rs1
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

MANAGER,
The sums stated are small for con-
venience of illustration. The transac-
tions of the Omaha banks in exchanges
often reach enormous figures. The
first days clearings at the clearing
house, on Wednesday last, were $780,
345.24 and on Thursday 1902, ,987.28.
Checks and paper are stamped, ''Paid
through the Omaha Clearing House."
Another example of time and handling
of large sums of money saved by the
clearing house may be given. The Ne
braska National owes the Commercial
National $4,000; the Commercial Ma
tional in turn owes the Merchants Ma
tional $4,000, and the United States
National $4,000. The Merchants
wants its money. The Commercial, in
stead of sending to the Nebraska for
$15, 900 for the Merchants, involving
two counts; or to the Nebraska for $15,-
900 for the United States, involving
two counts, draws on the Nebraska
through the clearing house, two checks
that settle the whole transaction.
The clearings yesterday were $243.-
666.66, making total for the first three
days of the clearing house to be seven
hundred and seve,ty-three thousand dol
lars lbs -stf 1fN.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

The Georgia papers report that sharp
ers are going over the track of Sher-
mans march to the sea, quilting farmers
into the belief that the government is
going to pay for the damage done at
hat time and collecting fees in advance
for services to be rendered in putting
through claims.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

LANDS for sale or lease in tracts of from 10
10 600 acres. All adjacent TO the above town
sites and selected with special reference to
fertility, ease of irrigation and wide range Of
productions.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
The Evils Of Smoking.
New York Star.

In tai ing with an eminent physician
the other day he told me some rather
startling facts about the effects OF ex-
cessive smoking. My friend, said
he, ''if you knew as l know the raw
ages of tobacco poisoning you would
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

WATER for sale or lease in any quantity
desired and on liberal terms. We own some
NJ the most valuable water rights and canals
in Idaho and have uncqualled facilities for
furnishing water for power, irrigation or do
mestic use within a reasonable distance of our
town sites.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21
Owners Of Town Sites and Choice Lands
Along The Oregon Short Line.
CAPITAL STOCK, s5oo,ooo

LOTS for sale in HALEY, ShoShone, Mountain
Home, Caldwell and Payettc at from S25 to
s4Otj each, for cash OF on long time. Special
Inducements to those who will make valuable
improvements
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

New York City is enjoying boom
in real estate, probably caused by the
eagerness of idle capital for safe in
vestment. fs orilI- |.5..5-. n
The drought in Australia has killed
off IA, 900, 600 head of sheep.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

! SPECIAL INDUCEMENTs;IWe are here
H. hniId M Idaho and The Northwest (be
II rvinr we viii reap our shaTe Of the benefits
III accrue) and 20 that end ire ready TO ex-
,,A nd any reasonable assistance or fnducement
~ interest capital and labor with us. When
~ come 10 idaho call at one Of our offices for
~ able information, or address us at either
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

clearing room, with packages on diff
ferent banks assorted. Those who are
tardy are fined. Resuming the illus.
tration, our clerk from the Omaha
National finds on his desk some credit
slips printed in black, and some debit
slips in red. On the credit slip he
makes out statement of the checks,
etc., he holds on other banks; they
amount to, say $4,000. On the debit
slip he figures up the checks of Other
banks on him, (the packages of checks
having been already handed around to
each) and finds they amount to $4,000.
This leaves $1,000 still due him on the
''balance book" of the clearing house.
The Omaha National is then given
1000 credit in the clearing house.
How Is it paidP
The 81, 900 difference between what
the Omaha happens to owe the other
banks and what they owe it, is paid by
the managers of the clearing house,
Mr.. w. H. S. Hughes, drawing what is
called clearing house check on some
bank which owes the clearing house, in
stead of having credit that day. If
no one bank owes the full amount, it is
made up on two banks or more. The
form is as follows:
OMAHA CLEARING HOUSE.
In the settlement of the balances OF the ex-
association to-day, there is due from NO.
- the - National Bank of Omaha,
- dollars, payable on demand
Omaha. not transferable and without recourse
upon any other member of this association
after $3.50 o'clock, p. m, of this day.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1884-11-21

to NO. y the - National Bank o
Omaha, not transferable and without recours
upon any other member of this association
after $3.50 o'clock, p. m, of this day.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-08-14
Gable Notes.

Marshal Serrano is dying at Biarritz, France.
Advices from India report the crop prospects
in lower Bengal as bad, owing to the drought
The Swiss government refuses to accept Col
Freis's resignation Of his position as minister to
the United States, and he will start to Wash
ington on the 10th inst.
Drury Lane Theater, in which Haverly's Min
strels have performing, has been summarily
closed. 1t is rumored that the step was taken
on account of the non payment of rent. The
company has experienced bad season.
At Copenhagen, at the medical congress yes
terday DR.. John S. Billings, Assistant Surgeon
general Of the United States army in behalf Of
the American Medical Association, invited the
in 1887.
The Russian government has decided to pur-
chase of its English owner the celebrated sAd-
oration of the Magi,n by Paul Veronese. Price,
f12 600 The picture will adorn the cathedral
now building on the site of the assassination Of
the late Gar