The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-01-19
HOCHEPOT.

PARMA violets sell in New York for So hun
dred.
PARIsIANs eat lark on toast When the
American wants lark he doesn't waste any
time on toast.
NEXT to the railroad conductor and the hotel
clerk, the elevator boy answers the greatest
number of questions.
IT is reported that it is the oil in corn which
makes it pop. Yes, and it is the oil in lamps
which makes them pop, too.
THE peach crop is stone dead as usual; but it
is one of those things which, like truth, tho
crushed to earth, will rise again.
AMONG other tributes to the sex, let = be re-
corded that the female terrrapin is larger and of
better flavor than the male, which is not highly
esteemed by epicures and bon-vivants
THE edition of Ella Wheeler's poems of
Passion, it is said, will be printed with an addi
tional title ''or Every man his own plumber"
the work having been found valuable in thawing
CONCEALED waterpipes.
CHINA is a heavenly country for mothers-in-
law married man there on the first day of
the new year must always call his wifes
parents, kneel to them, and wish them health
and prosperity during the new year.
HENRY JAMES must be decidedly fond of him
self. 1t has been discovered that in his late
article on Tourgueneff the personal pronoun, first
person singular, occurs seventy times on the
first four pages and fifteen times on the last
page.
A BURGLAR, who has been interviewed for the
Boston Herald say there is nothing he so dislikes
to meet in going through house as woman
There is nothing under the canopy woman so
hates the sight of as a burglar; so the honors
are easy.
Fox-HCNTING in Massachusetts Is fine sport
Five men recently spent whole day trying to
drown fox from his hole, and poured twenty
five barrels of water therein without any sat
isfactory results Probably ''Brer Fox was
sitting on dry land somewhere near grinning
and saying to himself: what fools these NOR.
tails bem s,.@ .,..e IS.
THE St Louis Globe Democrat in review of
tsthe Bread Winners, says that Mrs. Bedding
looking casually from her window saw Ofittat-
tack Farnham. Mrs. Bedding was peepng through
an opera-glass with all her might and main, and
if that is the ST. Louis mans idea of a ''casual
glance" fate forbid that we ever come. within
range of one of his piercing looks" or chilling
chances" There wouldn't be a fragment left to
tell the tale.
MEN are difficult to please. Mrs Livermore
has been commented upon because she shook out
the Fuckers of her overskirt when she arose to
address her audience IN Masonic Hall, the other
evening. She acUe,. ,ecisely like d woman, and
yet that provoked criticism If she had stalked
out noisily and-rammed her fingers through her
hair, the Disguised critic would have said:
bah! she's trying to be mani" Now the ques
ton is, how must woman act to please these
observing individuals.
THE true home of the ''widow woman" has
been found, In India there are $4,000 widows
under six years of age. OF course these must be
distinguished as ''widow girls" and the relent-
lessly pursued being who persists in referring to
''wdow women may here find rest and indulge
in his favorite redundancy of title. The widow
in India is a miserable being, considered dis
graced, degraded outcast, 10 whom it is a crime
to speak word of sympathy or commiseration
THE feminine editor is rum creetur' in one
respect 1t seems impossible for her to sink the
woman in the editor and remember that the pub
lie is not perishing for detailed account of her
own affairs. A Chicago woman editor some
time since apologized at length to hcr patrons,
for going out West to two new grandchildren.
1t would be a good rule for the woman-editor to
"snk the home" when in the shop and sink
the shop" when in the homo
APRoPos of woman, and her peculiarities, it
cannot be denied that she is queer creature
the street cars One of her recently held the car
and passengers waiting, after she had rung tho
bell while she finished telling another woman
how to make caramels Her maneuvers with
the bell are interesting, sometimes. She begins
looking at the strap about square before the
the point where she wishes to disembark; some
times she gets up and stands several minutes,
waiting The fatal moment to pull the strap then
she pulls it four or five yards below the
desired point, and gets out in the
mud, saying, ''Oh, pshawp She has
been much abused for not keeping the right
on the streetcrossng; but she lis no
greater offender In this regard than the average
man He generally walks part way across
ore side, and then strides to the other, just i'll
time to make neatly shod woman step into the
mud His fayorite pastime, however, is to meet
some fellow he knows, and they stop square in
the middle of the crossing to have talk expec-
toratins right and left as fess..as possible. The