Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1884-12-18
A New Crime Under the Sun.

AoutSOtA hAA1oCh s1S d Cduu1udtC l01
justice of the peace, the people of
Buck Short township felt that the
time when they were to have an able
and upright administration of judicial
affairs had arrived. Old Brumley
had never opened a law book; there
fore he was regarded as honest. He
had never hesitated to take off his
coat and fight the best man in the
neighborhood; therefore he was con-
sidered able. He had never been
backward in denouncing his enemies;
consequently he was regarded as a
citizen of wisdom. With these ac-
complishments, his election, in the
expressive parlance of politics, was a
'walk over Shortly after Brumley
took his seat ON the red oak wool
sack, man named Billy Malone was
arrested for stealing a grindstone.
''This here is mighty important
case," said the magistrate, when the
culprit had been arraigned before
court. '1n lookin' over these here
law books I don't find no mention o
grind-stones. It was q big over
sight in our legislature not to put
down grind stones in the books, fur
it mout have been now'd that some
blamed rascal in this here part O the
State was goin' to steal one. Folks
in this here part O. the country; LET
me tell you, will steal anything.
Wa'al, in the absence O any statuary
barn on the subjeck, reckon I'll make
this here charge mansIaughter in the
first degree" "
"Your honor" said a lawyer, ''tha1
would be impossible
"Wood it, Wa'al, Til jes show
you I'm running this here court"
"Your honor"
"Call me judge, if you please"
"Well, judge, there is nc sucf
thing as manslaughter in the frs
degree"
"Ain't thar Wall, I'll ies SHOW
you I'm runnin' this here court
Prisoner at the bar, I have longet
fur a opportunity o teachin lessor
to the risin' generation. You hav'
given me that chance. I don't de
light in seein' man fall from grace
but when he does fall, thar ain
nothin' that pleases me so much a
to tangle my hand in the rifles O hi
calico shirt. Manslaughter is
mighty serious charge, young feller.
81 amt slaughtered no man yit
ledge"
''Shet your mouth, impudent vic
lator O. the sacred law O. the land
No matter what you done, I say it wa
manlaughter in the fust degree, ar
when man disputes my word, wy
he'd better wush that his bones wa
made out Injup rubber an his bacl
kivered with the skim o a yalligate,
Young outrager O. the principles o
civilization, fur this great Grim
manslaughter in the fust degree,
sentences you to be hung next FIR
day."
/ Judge" exclaimed the lawyer
springing to his feet, ''this proceed
ling is impossible"
'Ts its Wa'al, IN jes show 70
Tn runnin' this court. When 70
git to be jedge, I won't come roun
ftelln' you what you can do an wins
you can't"
"Great Caesar, judge, such cours
as you are taking is a violation I
the State Constitution"
s1s it, Wa'al, I'll jest repeal tt
State Constitution right here. Th
: feller oughter be hung, an If / ha
cotch him ten days ago, whuther I
mot he had committed manslaught
in the fust degree or stold grim
stone in the second, which is Il
same, / would have sentenced him
!. be hung. Mr.. Constable, take chare
o. this man an see that he is bur
up in a respectable manner. Al
: lawyer what don't wanter be sarv.
: IN the SAME way had better keep b
mouth shst- I'm runnin' this court