The San Antonio light. (San Antonio, Tex.) 1883-1886, 1884-07-14
A DRUMMER'S LIFE. N
THE EXPERIENCE OF A CONNER
CIAL MISSIONARY.
Allings. Failings and Waitings.
and vicissltudes In Way.
side Inns.

Altef journey VI, say W hits' ""iJ
at times less, driving all day in hot,
broiling sun, with barely sheltering
shade tree under which to take lunch
for dinner, you arrive at country
tavern and upon inquiry are told you
can have accommodations for man and
beast. However, you get out OF your
buggy and find that you must unhitch
your horses yourself, care for them your
self, provided you care Mt all for
them. After awhile you are called to
supper %; dish OF rancid bacon
swimming in dish Of grease, eggs fried
as hard az . rock, biscuits OF saffron
hue, which, when you open them,
evaporate a steam that puts you In mind
of a laboratory where soda and saleratus
are being put TO soluble test Of heat,
meet your appetite. Next in order is
retirement to the front gallery for a
smoke out Of your own private little
box, which, In fact, is the only comfort
you enjoy. Bed time comes at last;
you are shown TO your bed and retire.
The arms of Morpheus embrace you as
You lay down, sweet and angelic dreams
haunt your mental visions, but 10, and
behold they change into hobgoblings
with claws, gnashing teeth and fiery,
flashing eyes, threatening to devour
you; but here reaction sets In; your
mind Is wrought up TO the highest
pitch, you awake with shout, a
long drawn sigh escapes you,
your shattered mental faculties assume
again their normal condition; painful
sensation around your neck, wrists and
feet is felt; you begin to scratch, and
the feeling increases. when upon making
a light provided you have matches Of
your own you find upon close inspec-
ton of your couch that you have in
vaded an army of bed bugs, big ones
and little ones, down TO the diminutive
white pin head size Of them, a good
many Of which show by red spot that
they have gotten away with some Of
gets the better Of you, and in silent
you utter impreoations against to-
tai depravity of creation, etc. The
night, that Is what is left OF it. and by
far the most refreshing and cool
ing part which You do not get
is thus spent in walking the
veranda in your slippers until "the
first grey dawn of morn arises;" then
you go to the stable, where your horses
meet and greet you with Joyous neigh
ing, showing you at once that they have
had good nights rest After a while
you are permitted ~ to grease your own
buggy, feed your horses. get the supper
duplicated on the breakfast table. hitch
up your horses, and upon inquiry for
your Indebtedness, are required by the
boss In charge to fork over 81 for the ac-
commodations aforesaid, and upon de-
parting yon are tortured by expressions
you can't stay longer, but hope you'll
soon call again."
This same daily life repeats itself
sometimes for days, because you are
compelled to call at places Of this kind to
sell the wares and merchandise Of
your employers to the sometimes
large stores In these small country
towns.
The other side of this life is that this
commercial tourist, missionary, or vulgar
drummer, Is not alone supposed but
compelled to have brains; for among his
samples, or in satchel separate for
that purpose, he carries a diminutive
counterpart of every book that is kept
or carried In the home Office. lie first
has to sell his goods, keeps n duplicate
copy of all orders made, he adjusts dis
putes on all complaints, whether they
ariaa from dafinfanau nf 4
crepancy OF cash account; he acts as col
lector and is compelled TO keep a cash
account in collections and dsburse-
ments, In the latter of which he often
gets at laggerheads with the chief of the
firm under the head of sundries.
Thus the poor, much abused drum
mer does not only do the work
Of the errand boy of the main, but lit
tie Of everything besides, to-wit small
boy, order clerk, shipping clerk, porter,
salesman, cashier, book-keeper, legal
adviser, boss, drayman, hostler, driver,
and In fact everything in q manner in
which more common sense apd quick
Judgment Is required than In place
where consultation can be had between
the members Of firm.
In contradistinction of all this comes
the member Of the brotherhood from
more distant clmes, who seldom. II
ever, leaves the track of the iron horse
travels In stiff standing collars and slip
pers, takes his bath each night, and then
because at some wayside inn (this with a
capital y, he does not get his iced tea at
the proper degree Of "Fahrenheit," he
compares Texas with the place at which,
according to tradition, ancient faith or
otherwise, health is the superlative illus
tration Of balmy breezes. N