davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15
Mark Twain's Innocents Abroad.
boston Iranserirt.l


 Elisha Bliss. late president of the American Publishing Company, Hart. ford, was the first publisher tha, gave favorable consideration to Mark Tsain $ "lnnocents Abroad and caused II to be issued. Notwithstanding the folliokine satire. the laughier-prosoking character and the obviously popular elements. oi the " lnnocents Its author had the greatest difficulty in getting il before the pubic. He had gained considerable reputation as humorist by hls little volume containing the :. Jumping Frog and other sketches, before setting out on his travels in the Quaker City. and after he had returned and prepared his copy he had naturally very little doub, oi its prompt acceptance He was doomed ,o continued and bitter disappointment He offered the manuscript to one pub fisher after another in New York but not, one would take the risk of putting II m book form. Then he sen, |, to Boston. with the same result, and finally to Phila- delphia. only 10 be again rebuffed. By this time he was, as may be inferred in no amiable mood He confessed tha, his literary vanity had been sorely wounded. and he was so dissatisfied with his work that he was ready to throw |, into the ire. Having offered il "a the leading publishers of three oi the principal cities in the union to TO par. pose II VAS no. strange that he was troubled and hunt. While in this rrita,ed. selt-dissusted mood. he net the late Albert D. Richardson. ,o whom he handed the manuscrip, 10 see fl II was so rredeemably bad. Richardson pro- aouneed Il eep clever. full of the extraya- sant drelery which the American people relish. and expressed his as,onishmen, shat any publisher of intelligence and eN perience should have declined it. You cannot be any more astonished than am. remarked Clemens dryiy. Those publishers have astonished as much con- eel, out of me IS d long seige of sea sick ness. Richardson, who had published several books through the Amers an Company, said tha, he was going to Hartford, and tha; he would take the manuscript with him, and he was sure tha, the company would be glad 10 take Il. He put II into the hands of Bliss, then secretary, who was immensely pleased with it. But some of the other officers and the directors were adverse, and made so many objections that he finally declared that he would publish It on his own personal account. They came around when they saw he was entirely in earnest, and afterwards pre- tended they favored the book from the start. The extraordinary success of the " Innocent. Abroad is well known The sale to date. including pira,ed editions !, said 10 have reached zoo 600 copies. The American Company probably cleared from .ooooo to s-oooo by i,s pubh- cation
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15
LOVES GIFTS.

,-..,arred and moonless through the nigh isrr's wafch-tower gleams with eonsiar
 light, u5,b,n Its hidden, wAii-giri news ! 7. rb zl,se for the fallen dews1. rse grape-fiowers. whispering, thrill the sin ,V,,h mystic proEises of wine [ ay. makes h,s law the undertune, .-s fragrance of the discrowned noon. ti,s clasping tendrils wreathe and bind Al blocms the questing south winds ind i- saving. silveT-sandaied hours. N-hi,e night is swinging eenser flowers, Aeep from their perfumed wells updrasn. rr, day has filled the cup of dawn, i- xaiting sunbeams love hath sought Tie spells of light and shade. broash, rssse 10 thy heart, and wooed 10 rest re puisine passion of thy breast. .ssuaned. unmooned, his qulckening ray s5nales thy inmost life with day Ard on thy dropping lids his kiss A sweet, immortal fragrance is: While ia the lanEuor Of thine eyes a, wells his ardent mysteries.
 .age thou thy inmoss heart 10 I'll ne, .l.i Inv very soul 10 thine. ;- srauehts of love's enchanted wine
 -YfS .iflegFhp
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15
PSA LM S.
ktsE

I I EAR this. all VI r""pie. and give ear all ye iiif alii> oi the world. Hop Bir,ers will make you well and to reIoiec.
 7 l, shall cure ali the people and pat sickness and suffering undcr foot
 ;. Be thnn not airaid when y"nr tamily k -lck. CT you have Bright. ]. di-easo or Liver complaint. for Hop Bittere @ill cure
 {. Boih loa and high. rich and poor know ,he yalge oi Hop Bitter for bilious. nervous and Rheumatic complaints.
 ;. Cleanse me with Hop Bitter, and shall haA' robust and bloom ing health.
 G Add disease upou tisease and lei ihc worst com ] an safe Y l a-e Hop B.i'er-
 : For all my iu have 1 been plagued ii .is sn.ss arsd sors,, and not uaal year az, -a. c.-r red. by Hop B.ttsrs-
 H. that kes-teth bi, bones from aobii : 1T n Ehesrnatssm and NearAlgia, with Hop B,ters. doe;h wisely.
 F. Thongh ;hou ssas, sores ,plnpses ,frecs i., sa, rb.,1fn. erysipelas. blood poatcrIing. .ei He, E Rs,sr- will rsrnoye tbem ali.
 ln N nai woman i. theye, feebl. asa sses foia fsraals complaints, ~ho 4tsfsiA HD; a.alth ans. aseth Hop Bs:teT- and s u.sse sels-
 II. Les 10. neglect V a~e H7T Bitter brsng eu serious h.dfsy and Liver eDfnpizinis.
 IL Rep thy iongls from being fGrrsd. th ' ! g4 bf ilsinz II Birtsrs.
 ls. A.. uv pzias ard sefA- sud dissA-s g. ike chaf tsfere ;se w.as Wnen ! a-- Hop Bif.ers
 IL Marx ts. TEA, g ao a. nearly tssd ai5d z1veu up tv ,he de-+g-- af,er using Hop B't- .~-s and oecntaefh ee.- l5. Cease from S.rr. f< 4ps4t 1.eTvos.sssess --Ee-a 1eoi.l.g aaa Irslary ,rgg5 g. for Hop ' .e-s s.4. r.-fx-
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15
Good Advice.
E. znsvflle Argus

We gre sorry 10 see that she diSposi- ,ion 70 slop over still shows n some of our exchanges Now, gentlemen, for Heaven sake be sensible and work for the interests of your readers. Who cares if you wrote good thing. and the jones burg Zooiipo-pdsy commented oa it. Ought you to publish the se1ib agaln And then ii he Galesbrfg H1as!in. Bn-zaya gets of second commeni. must you hurl the same old sq1ib ard the comments al the devoted heacs oi your readers again. Tumble.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15
How Ar,emus Ward Once Lecture,

how ATtemus Ward Once LeeiUred j..
 Gle. clsnd Plan Dealer
 There are yet iivIng Tn louisville. ia., several gentlemen who never hear the name of Artemus Ward ~ithou, q smIl- ing recollection of a pleasant night soent with iha; droll genus. In the winter of one of the earlier years of the war. Af,e- mus Ward was advertised to deliver his famous lecture on the Mormons T the town hall a, Pot,syille Much cur. oslty was excited by the announo ement Of his coming, and there was every reason to expect tha, the hall would be crowded on the evening Of the lecture. Au, one of the Heroes, snows,orms that ever visited the town ragged wi;hou, inter mission all day, and the night was wildly stormy when the lecturer was dri.en 10 the hall
 He found waiting for him only i've men, who had dehed the storm Ad- vancing to the stage, and beckonng with the finger as fl 10 single individual, Artemus sad, in an ordinary conver- sational tone Come up closer" Not knowing precisely what to de. the audi ence of five compromised with their em- bauassment by doing nothing. Aremus changed his tone 10 ,ha, used by one ~ho wishes to coax, and said:
 Please come up closer and be soci. able; l want 10 speak to you about a little matter have thought of
 Having succeeded in getting his audi ence 10 move up near to the stage, the humorist sad
 II move ,ha, we do not have ally lecture here this evening, and ] propose instead that ~e adjourn 10 the resta1ran, beneath and have good time
 He then pg: he motion. voted or l, himself declared II earned. and io give no opportunity for an appeal from the chair. at once led the way 10 the Testarr- ant. There he introduced himself to his intended auditors, and spent several hours in their company, richly com pensa,ing them for disappointment, in the matter of the lecture by the vii and humor of the stories and anecdotes with. ou; number that he told. And tha, IS hos Artemus Ward lectured in Potts vile.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15

sox Coin Si's.f Eigin Watch, srs o sos Cosn sisrr sin Watcn. $ co Pzsrn, sufsae1- Gold Filled F op
 Either Springfeis: of H Aits.ata, f preferred.
 Sen, (. z D. at fras.i.gs Of sK@ro:ra ton. Par, 0f monrF rsgst accompany order, 10 secure @xpress et4Fg~s. Money refunded f ~atck ts 4nsa,isf@cioy.
 kusEsr Si&eops SDt1-y sae Society Se4.s made is oscsf Sae s.e s.eFe9 zi hours tctscs.
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15


 Aft5~ti.'
 Amusing
 II ~forieal Tho AtkaneaW Tra},ler
 and The Iurn "i ihe iune, Are the nante- .. tvo -plcudid col ored cngra' ines eomra,,ion pieces which. together ~lth the origitai Story
 oi ih trkaH,aw Trateter
 a- told lA Coloba SaIlds Faulkner. Will ie =snt. post paid |" any al dress on r'es II e' l44ce. i9 esnt- Pee'a.,' stamps taken.
 A,Idre~s. Read and Beahan, l4tti. Rock
 Ark  CHAS. s. STIFFT. MANUFACTURING JEWELRR,
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15

The other aigi, in the grocery store hey were taking abou, the uuheAl,hill ness oi the var}oas oeo equations oi man Well. sad Inc man on the soap box. '' the VOC a;lon ot postmaster IS less try ng to person health than any other can ,hink of Why so = asked the nan on 'he ma ckcrel barrel " Because, 4nsaefcd the man on the soap box, "l 4,n Ht,y nlne years old and ! have never yer heard of postmaster fcs'gnIng on account of poor health. .Hidkesosst' ItaH ,fft
The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-03-15

The ncsspapef pAfaarat her or alleged funny man looking for Jokes, reminds Us ot an indtsidua looking for 4 hgh,. l. ls sure to come when least expected. Cdtf P,<I-fTs Hffkly
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28
6nnrorous.
AFTER MANY YEARS.

! A commercial traveller told q
, good story, and a true one, q few
days since. He said that a pronai.
nent merchant whose ways were at
| times squite peculiar" and who re.
sided not q thousand miles from
the "City of Salt" walked into the
carpet room of his extensive store
zone day and found one ofhis clerks
exhibiting some ingrai1c 1carpets an
aged country couple who had stray.
ed into the store. The merchant
looked sharp at the old people for
o moment, and then said to the
clerk:
"Shew them some better carpets
some Of our best Brussel."
AS the clerk began to throw down
roll after roll, the woman stopped
him and said:
I'VE can't afford them kind Of
carpets and we won't have'em."
"Hold on. auntie," replied the
merchant. "Now which one Of
these would you like best?"
To which the lady replied: 81
tell you | can't afford 'em-but this
one is just lovely"
whats the size of your room?"
asked the merchant.
In answer to this the old man pro.
duced from capacious pocket an,
old envelope upon which were the
figures giving the dimensions Of
the room, and handed it to the mer-
chant. -#9
After glancing at it he gave it to
his clerk with instrt ctions to have
the peculiar carpet wb eh had pleas
ed the old lady SO much made up at
once, in time for the train upon
which the old people were to leave
town that afternoon, at the same
time telling them it should not cost
them a cent.
Seeing the blank look of aston
ishment which oyerspread their
faces, the merchant asked:
Saint your name so and sop
ayes" "they replied.
Didn't you keep a tavern at
such q time and such a place?"
They replied in the affirmative.
"And didn't you have a boy at
one time who tended bar for you
named---?"
"Yes, yes; and we have often
wondered whatever became of the
little GUS
"Well," said the merchant, 81
am that boy, and when tended
bar for you stole money enough
from you to carpet your whole
house. Take the carpet and say
nothing more about it."
They took the carpet, and have
often told the story of the way in
which it was obtained.
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28

zionist would think Of endangering
his life. You have no idea how
afraid they are of microbes, and if
the microbe only waits till he gets
into some of these antiprohibition
stomachs in a drink Of. cold water,
he will be starved to death. This
is all very we'll for the rum drink
ers, but it is mighty hard on the
microbes.
Since the shaking mp that we re-
ceived from the friendly earthquake,
flats in the fifteenth and sixteenth
stories of our modern houses have
been at a discount. A female
friend of mine, who only lives in
the eleventh story. says she felt as
. if she had been shaken on the top
OF a bean.pole. Now while this ex.
perience is novel, it is not pleasant,
especially when examined from the
roof of a fourteen-story house. The
idea OF going to bed at night al
most in companionship with the
stars and waking up in the morning
to find yourself landed in the cellar
is full of the most unpleasant pos
sibilities.
Another woman has entered suit
for damaged husband; he is very
badly damaged; a wealthy widow
ran off with him. The original
owner of the property wants the
worth of the goods, when they were
in first.class condition. The in
jured wife wants $4,000; the unin.
jured widow says he is not worth
10000 cents. There certainly is a
wide difference as to his value. Let
the courts decide between them.
Election matters are hot, hotter,
hottest, with chance Of them be-
coming hotter yet.
Yours truly. ...
BROADBRIM.
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28
HoWTO MAKE HOME HAP.
.-- Ply.

He was book agent. He rung
a door-bell, and a woman who was
sweeping opened the door SO sudden
ly that he fell of the step and nearly
lost his equilibrium. But he was a
book agent, and he recovered his
momentum and said fuently:
Il am agent Tor the most celebra-
ted book ever offered to the public
since .'Uncle Toms Cabin" was
written, and filled with useful hints
of things that cannot be found out
side the covers of any other book,
and with recipes for cooking and
family prayers, and how to keep
moths..out of furs and some fine
poems by well:known and popular
writers, and you can give me your
order to-day and needn't pay for
it till next June, or on the install
ment plan, which is cheaper than
going without, and the name Of it is
Three Million Hints, or Inquire
Within How to Make Home Hap
py."'
"Oh, yes" said the woman,
smiling sweetly. "How to Make
Home Happy have one already"
and she looked at the broom in
her hand with dreamy eyes.
He fell off the doorstep again,
and this time he didn't recover till
there was block between them
Detroit Free Press.
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28

particularize, so Kentucky and her
near sister, Indiana, lead the Mid.
die States in the agricultural pro,
ductions and the superb stock that
both are so proud of. Therefore
manufactures and Middle States
agricultural productions, minerals
and timbers predominant.
New Orleans is vast CONNER.
cial city, and invites her guests
from Europe largely; and her
Worlds Fair emphasizes cotton as
its special display, and that in all
its forms from the crude boil to the
highest product Of the spinning
machine and the loom.
Therefore the visitor who wishes
to "see it all' must see both. In
size, in scope, in design the Louis
vile Exposition will, if the expecta
tions of its management based on
crowding demands for space be
realized, be fully equal to New
Orleans. Each will surpass the
other in special lines. Then, as SO
long story should have its moral,
no State, no visitor, no exhibitor
will be wise who shall think 81 will
leave out Louisville this year, for /
will see it all at New Orleans"
1t is my personal knowledge that
many of the great manufacturers Of
America are now so sure Of the. i'm
portance of display here that they
are already in Louisville and engag-
ed to-day in erecting better and
finer places for the display of what
they have than they had last year.
In short the grand success Of 1883
is to be surpassed in 1884. ,
- Il. VIC.
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28
YAYDERGILT'S BARBER
SHOP.
(Cor. Atlanta Constitution.

kSOI' AhauSo NOubhA0hIOu.J
Most of the socialists in this city
are Germans. The socialists be-
lieve in the assassination Of mon
archs. Our American monarchs
are millionaires. William H. Van
derbilt is despotic by two hundred
millions. Still, be lets German
draw keen blade over his throat
every day. There is quaint and
jolly old German, with 8 huge red
nose, e perfectly bald head, and an
immense mustache waxed at the
ends, who may be seen any morning
Of the year going down Fifth Ave.
nue. with the march of dissipated
Prussian grenadier and the smile Of
a happy infant. He is gentleness
itself. Everybody who knows him
calls him Jakey, but he owns the
full name Of Jacob Aber. Every
morning about 9 o'clock he stops at
the magnificent residence Of Will
lian H. Vanderbilt, greets the ser
want who opens the door blandly,
and goes at once to Mr.. Wander
bits barber shop. ...
So much has been written about
his house that it seems hardly as
though anything new could be told,
but many changes take place, and
in the South wing, adjoining Mr..
Vanderbilt's dressing-room, there
has been fitted up a barber shop.
It is small, and in the middle of it
u BARRIERS chair, made Of dark ma
hoga"y and inlaid with mother-of-
pearl. The base-boards of the
room, the cornices and the door and
window frames are of the same
shade of ofmahogany, and the mother.
of.pearl decorations are identical
with those on the chair. The chair
is of the regulation barber shop
pattern. Old Jakey shaves the
two-hundred. millionaire, and then
drifts down the avenue, nodding
gracefully to the stage drivers, and
giving the occasional policeman
whom he meets the fifth regiment sa,
lutte. He shaves several other wealthy
men on his way down, and finally
ends with Colonel Garrison on Park
avenue. Then he goes back to..his
home in the lower Bowery and
smokes o strong German pipe and
plays penuckle with his wife until
5 o'clock in the afternoon. Then
be wanders up town again and
visits one or two old gentlemen
who prefer to be shaved before
dinner rather than in the morning
He returns again to the Bowery,
goes 10 a favorite lager-beer saloon
in Roosevelt street, and sits in one
particular chair and at one particu,
lar table every night until II o.
clock. Then he stalks off to bed.
He is close to sixty years of age,
and is said to be the best barber in
New York. He gets his own price
for his work, and probably has old
er customers than any other barber
in the world. He shaved Fernando
Wood thirty years.
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28
COULDN'T STAND THE REMEDY,

A misery, unkempt old man. who
had been sick for some time, called
on doctor, and after telling Lis
symptoms asked what he should
do. a
swell, sir, you must take a cold
bath every morning"
"What, wash all over every day?"
"Yes."
will I die if don't do it?"
"You certainly will"
"Weli, doctor, I amt able to
walk down town; will you go and
get preacher and an undertaken?
I'll 60 home and get ready to see
them. You may send your bill to
my administrator and he will settle
it after I'm gone. Good day
Boston Post.
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28
Dostrp,.
- -
81 GAMMA BE FASHED."


When I was little lass, just sixteen,
Bonnie Was /, but proud rs queen;
Proud and saucy. pnd hard to please,
And wouderfu' fond O taking my ease.
Folks dilpa mind then-for WIS young
The "canna Ds flashed" that WIS eye on my
tongue.
81 couldna be flashed" VII my books ct the
school,
And now am old, ] am only O fool;
az couldpe be flashed" VII the dairy and house,
And HOW Pm as poor ns any kirk mouse;
And when mither spak o. my needle and
~ conidna 5e flashed" was aye whst said.
But spite o. my laziness, spite o. my pride,
Young Elliott, the pride O. thu country eide,
Cam seeking my love; end oft for bis sake
wheen o. fair promises would make;
But when the time came the guide purpose
VII lust the auld sang: ~ Gamma be iashsd."
81 couldna be flashed" If he wanted to walk
ssI coultlna be fushed," II he wanted TO talk j.;
] thought it wa, fine sac indifferent to be-
Folks mustna be turc o. the getting o me;
And thus a. his hopes and his pleasures were
With thae wearisome words: ~ Gamma be
flashed"
day,
When the folks we're a. busy In "saving the
hay"
My lover said: "Lassie, lets help them
awhile"
81 Gamma be fashed," said. wr smile
20, lassie, dear Iassie, thae words gle me
pain"
And I looked in his face and said them
again.
Then he put on his hat, took the oycr-hill
track,
And from that day to this he has never come
Pvo had flashes" enou stree thae happy
days,
Wiz losses and crosses and wearifu' ways;
/ might hae been wecl and happily wed
If Pd lkeepit kind cecvil tongue IL my
But 81 couldna be flashed" wP others, you
sec,
And fortune and friends ceased flashing"
VII me.
Sac, hsIes, tax tent from the tsle hac told; /;
Dinna wait to be cceyil until you grow old.
[Harper's Weekly.
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28
8IgisesIIansous. 3
RROADBRIM'S NEW YORK
LETTER.

Where is it going to stop! L
asked this question several weeks
ago when Morgan's Sons succumbed
ia financial collapse. Not SO un-
likely a failure had occurred for
years-and it really seemed as if
this was the elimination of our f.
nancial disasters which began with
Ferdinand Ward. We have almost
begun to forget that this notorious
rascal is still in Ludlow Street Jail
In the whirl of our daily life in
New York we have no time to think
of anything very long. Even the
earthquake was only a sensation
for an hour; people rushed to their
windows and looked out; Trinity 5
tower stood erect and perpendicu-
lar !; the great Bridge bad not slip
ped from its lnoorings; even the
tall spire from which the new philo-
sopher of the TriJuAe looks down
upon o naughty world was as
straight as an arrow pointing to
the sky;-so they ran back to their
soup; and except by comparing
notes of their sensations, the shak-
ing up that we received was soon
forgotten. But to return; l was
saying that we were just being lull-
ed into sweet forgctfulness when
away goes the Wall Street Bank.
The cause is not dissimilar to one
which occurred about ten years ago,
when the cashier of one of the Wall
Street banks swept away the entire
capital. He was an exceedingly
nice young man, and as au evidence
of his nicely he parted his hair in
the middle. The directors of this
particular bank had SO much con-
6dence in this very nice young man
that they would not insult him by
looking over his accounts; but one
morning these sleepy old gentle
men woke up and the capital of the
entire bank was gone, and the nice
young man was gone too, but they
caught the nice young man in Can
ada, and he was not so fortunate as
Emo, for they brought him back and
sent him to States Prison. from
which he was released a few months
ago.
The Wall Street Bank was just
such another case. 1t had been in
| existence in one shape and anoth
er nearly fifty years, and if not the
j: aunchest, was at least one OF the
oldest banks in the city. Mr.. Dick
inson. the thieving cashier. was the
son in.law of one of the principa
stockholders, and himself membe1
of a very wealthy and infuentia
family. His stealings have extend
ed over period of several years
and will amount in the aggregate tt
half a million of dollars. This
knowledge of this defalcation ha'
caused dismay to many importan
houses, and will undoubtedly bring
financial ruin 10 some.
We are told, when we inquire
that it has been lost in stock gam
bling, and the stock gambling house
where this stolen money was lost il
one of the principal features o
Wall street. 1t is true it stands oil
| Broad street, but in financial tech
nicalitv it is all Wall street. 0
the millions lost to this country il
the past few years, the great bod.
of it has been lost among the gam
blers of Wall street, in the New
York Stock Exchange.
! The New York World though
The release of Billy McGlory Fl
subject for one of its abouinabl
cartoons, but Billy McGlory. infa
nous as he was. has never inflicted
tithe Of the misery and ruin o'
! hia fsll9ws that tlrese Wall Sssae
The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1884-08-28

"Do you believe that a. woman
nowadays would die for the object
of her loye?" asked a bachelor
friend. 81 don't know whether she'd
die or not answered the Benedick,
"but I've known her to go wild whe
tll6 trimming dida't suit bss."