The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1884-06-05
Standard Paragraphs !

1t is hardly fair to call an extraordinary gift
! of CAB relic of barber-ism.
| A worm is making trem endous ravages on the
gooseberry bushes. He is having a sour-mash
Oft.
Hamilton Butcher has discovered that man
! can't be too careful about railroads. One should
even give way to a train of thought.
"Yes, I've jined er Post, too !' he said as he
clung helplessly to the telephone pole, and
watched the G. A. r. marching past.
| 1t is noticeable that the tinware peddler is
generally a man of wealth, who lugs tin pans
and buckets around "to give away"
Tom Lewis said that Lackey had only started
| to walk down to the May Festival. 1t may be
that he desired to employ new orchestra.
| Several individuals in this County have re-
Gently been studying the mysteries of ancient
| Grease, using their neighbors' smoke-houses as
studies.
| Sons of these papers in search OF sensations
should try telling the truth. just once That
would create sensational surprise among their
| readers.
| It's coming to pretty pass when Jackson
| County man can come to town and find out that
he has been murdered, away off somewhere
! else.
| Major Mckinley, of the Eighteenth Ohio Dis
trict. was unseated by the Democratic Congress.
| The Democratic politicians always get after a
| manss seat.
| A Jackson doggery-keeper put out sign sc.
| A. R. HEADQUARTERS" on decoration day. This
| is not the first time the brave boys were at
| tackled by vermin.
The Democrats are going down into the vaults
and brushing the dust off of the mummfes, to
| see which one will be the most presentable as
| Presidential can 1idate.
1t will not do to bs too enthusiastic in de-
nouncing Democratic Presidential candidates.
| The man who says Gen. Butler hasn't spoon
| full of brains is mistaken.
"A willing hand makes an easy task" is an
old adage which has no weight with the small
| boy who is enduring a spanking. That is, the
adage hasn't, but the hand has,
If the boys are going to do anything for old
man Tilden or old man Payne, in Presid2n-
tial way, no time should be lost in the matter
Death ends all-Presidential calculations
jackson has one street with church on one
side and q doggery across on the other-the Lord
doing business on one side, and the Devil on the
other. But the latter is ashamed of his business
| and has screen up.
"HaVe you loved me lOnS!' asked an over
loved dude of the girl who confessed Sc loved
| him.
"Oh yes :" she replied, "rve always loyed you
| LONG WAYS OFF"
Skilled labor is not always necessary to the
success of an enterprise. We had an old watch
| on which three silversmiths had exhausted their
SKILL but it wouldn't CO. We gave it to small
boy, he went into it with a Iack-knife, and in
ten minutes had it running.
There was one army experience, and an i'm
portant one, that the G. A. r. could not illus
trate at their entertainment here-the manner
of washing their clothing in the army. This
was done by taking off and washing one gar
ment at time,
A Jackson County man took walk, and
Chillicothe paper wrote him up as having been
murdered by his brother. 1t don't tell US what
he did with the remains, whether he crematcd
them or swallowed them.
Wesley Johnson was hung at Napoleon, Ohio,
on Friday He killed q man with an ak, chop
ped to pieces the mans wife, causing an infant
child to starve to death, then got religion spent
his last hours in singing Nearer My God to
Thee" and wanted the Sheriff to "meet him in
Heaven" If the Sheriff ever meets him after
death, we hope he'll hang the fellow again"