The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-07
AUNT BETHIA,
rBelle C. Greene in The Continent. ]

art exhibition, or picture sale, where she
sat among the crowd, a little bewildered,
but sufficiently alert, listening to the glib
chatter of the critics as they discussed
the merits of some 81 900 landscape.
The same being, as she declared to the
friend accompanying her, only picter
of what anybody can see for nothin' up
to Craney Holler," where she lives
"Why, said she regarding the great work
of art with one eye severely shut up,
"jest go to our back door of summer
morning and stand and look, and there
you have it, for all the world!
"The same smooth, green medders,
with the pretty brooks windin' through
'em, and on both sides. to the right and
left. the pastur' lands where the cattle
are fed, so peaceful and contented; then,
way off in the distance, them sollem-
lookin' mountains, with the shadders
creepin' round EN-, or restin' on their
tops; and all the time the sun shines
bright and pleasant down below in the
valley.
81 do declare, I could almost believe
the man stood in our back door when he
painted that picterl
at is handsome view and no mis-
take; but don't it seem pity to spend
money Jest for picter, when you
could buy a small farm-a live pic
ter, as it were. for $1,000"
She sees much in our city to disap-
prove. Most of the so-called modern
improvements are denominations to
Aunt Bethia.
The electric light finds no favor in
her eyes
"How must our Maker look on't?"
she asks Indignantly
1T wouldn't be so bad if they only
used it as they do gas, or kerosene lie;
but when they come to light up all out
doors with it, and make it take the
place of the heavenly bodies-that's
what call impiousl Nothin' more nor
less than irwin to Guido the Creator!
When the moon and stars don't
shine, let folks walk in the dark, or else
carry a lantern" says she, whimsically.
The telephone she regards as an in
fernal machine, and insists that there is
something supernatural about it.
She has never been prevailed upon to
use it once.
Il won't have anything to do with it
in any way nor SHAPED" says she. Jest
as if any human invention could do
what that thing does!'
She always keeps safe distance from
it, as if it were liable to go off, at any
moment to play some diabolical trick
upon her.
She does not approve the Quincy
Method" in our schools, and much pre-
fers to have the children learn their
lessons from their books and recite
them standing in nice, straight line,
with their toes to a crack in the
floor. She would like more prominence
given to order and to the ten COM
mandments: and she sadly misses the
dinner baskets and the water pail and
tin dipper
She does not like the new version of
the scriptures her mothers bible is
good enough for her; and she takes no
interest in the great controversy, except
to mourn that there should be such
disorderly goings on in the world.
She went to the opera of Patience"
and her womanlv soul was shocked be-
yond repair at the conduct of the love
sick maidens; she felt personally
Inundated and disgraced. and sat there
with burning cheeks, not daring to go,
and too indignant to stay and see 1t
through.
Words were thrown away on her.
"All the words in the English language"
she declared to us, couldn't excuse or
explain away such shameful
exhibition - such immodest behavior
on the part of them young girls
81.
where in the world were their
mothers? Poor things, though she
added, as an afterthought, perhaps
they hadn't any mothers; | can't believe
they had"
Estheticism and the Renaissance, as
she understands them. are only delu-
sions of the adversary, invented to ruin
weak and idle souls who loiter in the
by-paths of life. and she believes the
only salvation for such is to go to work.
Let 'em do something practical "
she will say. IF they re so mann
fond o sunfowers let EN- go to raisin
'em by the cart-lsad They re excel
lent chicken fodder, as everybody
knows. / did see a whole acre on 'em
once all CROWN together; they was in
full blow, and looked Gurus enough
with their big round faces turned
toward the sun. Oscar Wilde says,
you know, that they resemble a lion
and they do look about as wise and
KNOWN.
There's nothin like work for keep
in girls out O. mischief she is fond of
saying.
when our girls leave school let em
take right hold and help their mothers
with the Homework and the plain SEWN