Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-01-04
tsPnlnps.o

| NAApSs
"Do You think you can sell dress
goods end rihbons:?" inquired Mr.. Ma
than Watrous, senior member of the
retail firm of Watrous & McGill. The
( party addressed was a florid young
man, with q tlorid nose, tlerid NOUS
tache and ford hair. He was. in short,
quite a Florida youth, and his name
vas Theopo. Duggan.
81 reckou o. he replied.
"Can you i@ suave?'
"Which?
"Can you support q becoming address
n the presenee OF ladies-politeness,
suavity. you hnow?'
go, YES" answered Duggan, "in the
| last place l ' worked the boys all said |
was the suavicst man in the troupe, and
a rustler among the customers"
"What business was tip"
"Pumps-wooden and iron pumps,
and hydraulic rams
"Quite Il different line from dress
goods and ribbons"
"Well, YES. but l amt afeared to
tackle EN-"
Mr.. Watrous gave him a trial. The
bows in the store labeled him "Pumps''
from the first moment of his initiation
into the dress goods and ribbon depart
ment. The second day a petite brunette
inquired for some "chicken down"
nuns yelling, Pumps commenced to
sweat.
"What color is it?@ he blurtcd out.
The girl only rewarded him with a
stony stare. Pumps rushed Off after IL
new stock of Information, and inquired:
els this a provision store or a butcher
shop?"
.'Why?" answered. one hundred and
fifteen pound salesman.
"Bccause, there's a gal up there by
the showcase who wants some chicken
down."
The one hundred and fifteen pounds
of pure and unauthorized suav.ty wait
ed on her.
"Show me some elephants breath
cashmere" said an elderly lady in gold
bowed spectacles. Pumps dropped II
roll OF paper cambric and again started
down the road after some more intelli-
gencc.
"What's elephants breathe" he gaspeG
changed if ! amt thinkin' I've struck
q menagerie,' .
"lt's a shade Of wooden goods" muir
INJURED another salesman, moving up
toward the elderly lady, and selling her
a large bill.
"Bet your toors I'll catch on" said
Pumps, ~swacgcring before the glass
where the ladies' tried on bonnets and
hats.
Another young lady interviewed
Pumps in the afternoon and SAID:
"You know steel soutache on gray
velvet is considered very chic"
"It's iustlhn chickiest thing aooin',"
observed Pumps.
The young ady looked grievcd.
"Show me some giraffe-colored CASH
mere" She sad, quietly.
"Another animal wanted,' muttcred
Pumps, breatllcssly, as he reached the
other end of tie store. He, of course,
lost the sale.
"show me some crinolettes," de-
manded q spare woman with Il cast in
IL eye. Pumps was nonplussed.
eff was you / wouldn't get u crino-
lette,' he ventured.
"You w%ouldn't!" sneercd the lady.
"No, not at this season of the wear.
I'd get a pair OF striped stockings and u
poke bonnet"
The lady walked out.
"What did she want:9' INQUIRED Mr.,
Watrous, who had kept his eagle eve
on the proceeding.
''She was hankGrin' after a crino-
lette," said Pumps, land l don't think
we have 'em in stock"
''Ihese are crinolettes," said Mr.,
Watrous, stcrll,y, and pointing to u pile
of the garments.
"Ihem! Why took them for base
ball MASKS said Pumps.
"You will have to do better. than
this" remarked Mr.. Watrous, impress
sively.
"Ihere's q m up at the front end
who wants some Apollonaris. Hadn't
better 60 out and get her a glass of
seltzer?:'
Some more condensed suavity waited
on the lady, and sold her a polonaise, a
moliere waistcoat, an ostrichteatherfan
and teny yards Of plum-colored velvcteen.
Pumps was paralyzed.
"You fellows have got the thing
down pretty middlin' tine,' he said
pulling his vcrmilion mustache before
the mirror.
"Evidently you have considerable to
learn in this business,' observed the
head salesman to Pumps.
,All ! ask is q fair show for my mon.
ey,' returned Pumps, dejectedly.
"What would you do if a lady should
inquire for an imported jersey?"
""hat are you giving u.s." whined
Pumps, this is no stock yard or dairy
farm
THAT. my friend" said the head
salesman, is a short Jacket introduced
into this country by Mrs. Lanetrv.
ure?"
''Me-oh. I'd
That will lo!" shouted MIR. Wat
rouse, bobblng up from behind a bale of
sheetlng' you can just tournure back
on tlls establishment and hunt work in
a lumber yard.''-Ieras Sittings.
Oh, Mamma.