Smyrna times., 1884-02-13
Littleton Coke VS.. Clara Fitzpoodle.
BY THE EALD OF TOWER HALL.
VII.

CHAPTER VII.
To the hotel they went-and got something to
The dinner was inished-the meal was complete
Said the husband: "We've been in this famous
retreat
For week, and I'm thinking that now l shall
beat
A retreat for myself and my own happy bride,
And return to the city with my wife 10y my side.
have u bad feeling in heart and in head
Not fulnesS Uf binOd for I've daily been bled-
And say, in a whisper. ~ him it may please
To he eaten by midSeS ana NUTIicd 10y heaS,
Ii with Watering places he hgp> To be Smitlrn.
And will by mosquitoes and landlords, be bitten:
II ms chest is contracted, and he can initiate
HIS lungs III chamber of seven by eight;
If good natured fellow hr really don't care
If bedbngs gymnastc climb up ON his hair;
II, when proving his own mathematics defective
lie Swe0rS not when finding his bill, in perspec-
tive,
T'vice what he expected-some mathematician
tinIing pro ctce,l The landlord in d0nbe ptsitun
II the man is all thi>, and then really he thinks
That cHPptHg aud bIeeti"g are good Tor MS
And hopes that the mineral water he drinks
May atone for the loss OF his minerU Wealth,
Let him go to the Springs, IL the Falls or the
But here let me hint it, my darling. to You,
" II reasons my conduct hereafter should shape
With famous resorts I'll have nothing To d0
A crusty old fellow was there with his wife.
Who said he intended to finish the season,
And wished he might stay there the rest oI MS
He looked up to see if his wife was in view,
Then answered. The Falls of Niagara, tum-
bling,
Have done what naughtl else under heavens
could do
Have drowned with their thunder the voice Of
shrew,
And silenccd a woman eternally grumbling
1t was only the Monday before we came here
had lost on horse some hundreds OF
dollars
Next morning, at breakfast, she said to me:
OedT,
Car, you give me an eagle to buy me some col
larsP
made no reply, but looked black as December;
Took out of my pocket volume, and there
| gave her hint she will ever remembers;
read her the poem called Nothing TO Wear
But here comes my wife, she who wanted the COL
I will ask her the question, and she will de-
clare
The emotions she felt when She asked for ten dol
And read her the poem called Nothing to
Wear -"
81 felt" She replied, had you stayed from the
At home with your wife, in your own proper
| place!
Had you not set the law and the gospel aside
| By betting your money and leaving your bride!
Had you sQuandered no money for wine or cham
| pagne,
Which, proiting nothing, was worse than in
| vain
Had you not your own pockets most sadly abused,
Through friends you had treated cigars you had
Had you not, disappointed, returned from the
| race,
With a chill in your heart, and cloud on your
| face?
Had you feeling spite not have vented the
| same
On your wife. for your losses in no way to blame!
Had you not to your manhood been guilty OF
| treason,
With no show of defense in the province of rea-
| son,
/ might with some profit, have listened, when
| there
You read me the poem of Nothing to wear
| As it was you had squandered some hundreds
| away.
And denied me tri6e: l felt it was true,
That whatever you read, or whateer you might
say,
In practice your precepts had nothing to do"
| The husband thus scored by the unruly member,
And spurred by the laughter then shaking the
walls,
Put on an expression "ds black as December"
And left in hurry to look at the Falls.
| CrO be Continued.)
NOTE--The chap above alluded to afterwards
| visited Philadelphia, and, Of course, called at
! Tower Hail. but alas he could not be suited.
| The moment he entered the store, the nap on all
| the clothes stood Up and no caresSing would
| smooth it. The Vests seemed to be lHrCSied with
| contempt, and the Pants puRting for revenge
while all the garments so SIceled with Indignation
towards the man who had ill-uSed his wife, that
nothing in the store was smcH enough for him
The truth is, we make our Clothing for an alnia-
BILE class of customers, iand the styles of our
Goats will not allow man to get his back up to
quarrel with his wife. For this reason, those who
live happy at home are those who patrOnize
TOWER HALL, may 24-ly
SIS and $40 Market street, Philadelphia.
FAnIrFF hIIEM