Seattle daily post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, W.T. [Wash.]) 1881-1888, 1884-01-06

e11I wye RsshlesSly Depsises kim II

eslI wye RsshlesAly Deptiv~s hin II
Rs0aDes.
50 nuc.s amusing talk il being made
recently about the blood : bedraggled
cowboy Of tie wild West that | arise az
one man Ia say few tIin2s-not in a
dic;atoriai style, bu; regarding this So
called or so-esteeansd dry land pirate.
who. mounted on little cow pony and
under the black 4 X, sails oui across the
green surge of the plains to seattle. the
rocky shores of finse with the buues Of
nis feiiow-man.
A great many people wonder were
the cowboy, with his abnormal thirst
for blood. ORIGINATED. Where did this
young Jesse James. with his cory record
and his da1nsless eye, come frJms-
Was he born in buffalo wallox at
the foot of some rock-rlbbed mo1nt-
AIN. or did no first breathe thin air
along the brink Of an aikali pond, where
the horned toad and the centipede
sang him to sleep. and the tarantula
tickled him under the chin with its
hairy legs!
Careful res arch and cold, hard sta
tis:ics sh0v that tine cywboy, As geo.
eral thing. was born in an transformations
manner on the farm. ! bate to SIT down
ON beautiful romance aud squash the
breath out of romantic dream, out the
cowboy who gets tOO much moist dam
nation in his system and rides on gal
lop up and down Main street shooting
out the lights Of the beautiful billiard
palaces, would be jhst as unhappy if q
mouse ran ND his pantaloon leg as you
would, gentle reader. He il generally
= youth who thinks he will not earn
his $25 per month if he does not yell
and wh0op and shoot and scare little
girls into st. Vitus's dance. I've known
more cowboys to injure themselves
With their own reyolvers than to in
jure any one else. This ia evidently
the hoe than they Ire with the Smith d
WoeoOn.
One night, while had rooms in the
business part of a territorial city in the
Rocky Mountain cattle country, / was
wakened at about am. by the most
bl0od-curdling cry of Murder" l ever
heard. It was murder with a big an. !"
Across tho street, in the bright light Of
q restaurant. a dozen cowboys, with
broad sombreros and flashing silver
braid, huge leather chaperajas, Mexican
spurs ard orange silk neokties, and With
flashing revolvers, were standing. 1t
seemed that big red-faced Capt. Kidd
of the band, with his face full Of valley
tan, had marched into an ice cream re-
sort with self-cOcker in his hand and
ordered the vanilla GOODNESS for the
gang. There being dozen young folks
at the place. mostly male and female,
from a neighboring hop, indulging in
cream, the proprietor, a meek Norwe-
Rian with thin white hair, deemed it
rude and Outre to do 50. He said
something to that effect, whersat the
other eleven men of alcoholic courage
let of yell that froze the cream into
q solid glacier. and shook two kerosene
lamps ont of their sockets in the chan
deliers.
Thereupon the little Young Mems
Christian Association Norwegian said:
Gentlemans, KANT neffer like dot
squealinks uud dot kaind of a tinRs,
ind you fellers NIT dot ledder pantses
on und dot funny CLOSE und such ting
like dot better keep kaind Of quiet or |
shall call up de policeman NIT nay dele
phone"
Then they laughed at him and cried
yet again with loud voice.
This annoyed the ice cream agricul-
turist, and he took the old ax-handle
that he used to jam the ice down around
the freezer with, and peeled a large area
OF skin of tho leaders dome of thought,
and it hung down over his eyes. 80 that
he could not see to shoot with any de-
gree Of accuracy.
After he had yelled MURDER three
or four times he fell under an ice-cream
table. and the mild-eyed Scandinavian
broke silver-plated castor over the or
gan OF self esteem, and poured red pep
per and salt and vinegar and Halford
sance and other relishes on the place
where the scalp was loose.
This revived the brave but murderous
COW gentleman and he begged that he
might be allowed TO 90 away.
The gentle Young Mems Christian As
ISOLATION superintendent of the ten
stamp ice-cream freezers then teok tho
revolvers away from the bold buocaneer
and kicked him out through a show.
case and saluted him with a bouquet of
July oysters That suffered severely from
malaria.
All cowboys are not sancuinarv. but
out of twenty you will generally find
one who is brave when he has his re.
volvers with him; but when he forgot
and left his shooters at home on the
piano, the most tropical violet-eyed
dude can climb him with the butt-end
Of q sunflower and beat bis brains out
and spatter them all over that school
district.
In the wild unfettered West beware of
the man Who never carries arms, never
gets drunk and always minds his own
business. He doesn't go around shoot
ing ont the gas or intimidatinc a kin
derRarten school; but when q brave
frontiersman, with a revolver in each
boot and a bowie-kHife down the back
OF his heel, insults modest young lady
ana needs to Do thr. wr through plate
glass window and then walked over by
the populace, call ON the silent man
who dares TO wear clean shirt and hu-
man clothes.