Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-12-02

THOMAS MAST. the caricaturist. is to give q
course of Illustrated lectures this winter
strike his audience with The jaw bone of 9
Mast. as 1t were.-PhilddslphiE Record.
.sOH. DEAR" yawned a little boy after he
had returned from church. Il don't wonder
the world is so fun of wickedness.n ''Mhy
so?" asked his astOnished mother. "Cause
God picked out such tedious day for sun
day
4 MINISTER IS after the society editor of one
Of the dailies because an item which should
have read. 1.-THE spirit moved HIM to 20 ont of
town for a season." appeared in print, ''The
Sheriff moved him TO go ont Of town for a
reason. Merchant IFQreler.
A GENTLEMAN who was going to take his
family to see a dramatic performance. the
other day, was surprised to see his wife pack
ing large trunk and filing two large baskets
with eatables just before starting. what on
earth are You doing that forF" inquired the
husband. 'Whv.n returned the wife, ''it says
on the play bill that six weeks elapse between
the first and second cts."-Es.
4 WESTERN JOURNAL, in a recent descrip-
ton of a wedding in Kansas City, gave a list
of the brides presents, followed by an emu
meration of costumes worn by the guests. An
item Of the first order unaccountably drlfted
among the detailed accounts or costumes,
making the following rather amusing cOmbi-
nation: Mrs. John =. heliotrope velvet,
pearl ornaments. Miss Jennie -, lace bed
set."-HdrpeF''s BGsdT.
LAW. my dear Ielldns QOLlcC you cdWWV
vouah cane BE- the handle" Eyes, sir: that is
what the handle is made for" but, you
knaw, that is not the pwOppah capah: it's not
English, ye knaW." Il don't care" "But
English ways as the west of us do, You ah so
deuced odd, We knaw?" II don't know. unless
it is that am English and have lived in Eng
land all my life. "-CAicago NeIcS.
NOT long since New Hampshire com
mittee man was examining an infant school
10 j f.nr~ rsr- . fa
definition Of the word 'averagep" he asked.
For some time no one replied but finally q
lutte girl hesitatingly replied: 1T is thing
hen lays an egg on sir" mo, that's not
right" 'Ies, sir, my book says so;'' and she
trotted up to her questlOner and pointed to
this sentence in her reading book. "a hen
lays an egg every day on an acreage. "-Erery
other Saturday.
To THOSE WHO LOST
Turn gently while the day is young,
Before the glazing moon;
Nor heed the friend who calls aloud:
TOO soon to turn, too soOnP
Now gently turn your coat. my son.
Andsmile "a villain stilD;
Trim we'll your aails to suit the breeze
And gain the Peoples will.
Which way the tide moves, move along.
Care not for Man OF Vote;
But as you move, with ready grace
Turn, gently turn your coat!
-Tecas Sjftings,
ADAM SCHARDT lives on Kelly's Island. He
is a rare old German with sweet accent. He
gives the following history Of the early set
tiers Of Kelly's Island: in the first place, the
island was literally covered with SNAKES and
reptiles. and no human being. not even the
noble red man, had the courage to dispute
their right and title to the island. Daring a
heavy storm many years ago a schooner was
wrecked of McGodgain's Point The boat
carried a cargo of live hogs. All hands were
lot, but the hogs swan ashore, and, as they
found little else to feed upon, they made diet
of snakes. In the course OF time they sue
island. Then the Kelly family put in an
appearance and began devouring the hogs, a
feat which was accomplished easily and
quickly. Nothing has since succeeded in eX-
terminating the Kelly family. "-Ne7C York