The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1884-02-15
Mr.. Jagson's Nose.

Mr.. Alvin Jagson, although an honor
able gentleman in every other respect,
had very long nose. To be sure that
was no fault of his. but it detracted
very much from his personal appear
ance, standing. as it did, full three
inches in its stocking feet, and right in
the centre of his face. OF course the
nose belonged to him, and if man
wants to carry an overgrown nose on
his face it is nobody's business, but
people will talk, you know, and many
were the remarks that were pointed at
the elongated proboscis of Mr.. Jagson.
True they didn't say anything about it
in the gentleman presence, but among
themselves they wondered how one
small head could hold all that nose in
its proper position.
Small boys regarded the ungainly
protuborance with awe, idling about in
his vicinity for hours awaiting an OPP
portunity to hear him blow it.
Mr.. Jagson was bachelor, not from
choice, but by force Of circumstance.
He once courted pretty maiden with
as much ardor and with as fair chance
of success as any young man in the
country. Sylvia Gill was to him the
fairest of the fair and to her he paid
court. At first she disliked his pres
ence because of his repulsive looking
facial adornment, but as she came to
know him better she overlooked the
nose in consideration of his many other
graces of form and mind. In fact, as
time passed on she felt that she loved
him, nose and all.
At last MIR. Jagson determined to pop
the question. Dressed in his best suit
he sought the home of his adored. She
smiled sweetly as he entered. They
sat on the sofa. Taking her hand in
his he said:
II love you, Sylvia, dear; will You
be mine?'
yes" came the answer, low and
sweet.
Then he bent over her to take o
lovers kiss. All! how often misfor-
tunes overtake us when we least ex-
pect them. Here were two hearts full
of love and hope, two trusting souls
looking forward to happy union and
a life of unalloyed bliss, but the rude
hand of fate laid its blighting power
upon their happiness. Mr.. Jagson's
nose was in the way. His first effort
brought his nose against her cheek,
and two mouths, that had been ex-
pectantly puckered, got left. Drawing
back and taking careful survey of the
field of operation Mr.. Jagson returned
once more to the charge. but with no
better success than before. Then he
tried to kiss her on the cheek and stuck
his nose in her eye.
Then Sylvia spoke.
'Mr. Jagson," said she, ''we can
never be more than friends"
"Why dearestP"
Il will never marry man whom l
-ee;atsSsnot kiss
Mr.. Jss:cc implored. but Sylvia was
firm, and he found MS fondest hopes
crushed by his long nose. he n neeyer
tried to kiss a woman again. =
He suffered many other disappoint-
ments because of the length of his nose,
some of them most bitter. For instance,
he was going home from the city one
evening with a party of friends in
wagon. A five-gallon keg of whisky
was also in the wagon, and it was not;
long before a motion to take q drink
came up before the house. Now If
there was one thing Mr.. Jagson likesl
better than another it was whisky
He could drink as much as any man in
the country, and when the motion to
i ibe was made it was ably seconded
by MN. So the keg was passed. Each
man, as the key came to him, took it
up and drank from the bung-hole, no
cup being at hand.
When the keg reached Mr. Jagsoii
he took it tenderly by each end and
raised it tenderly TO his-nose. Here
was a bitter disappointment, indeed.
He was thirsty; the whisky was before
his face; it was free; but not drop of
it could he get.
Drink hearty, Jagson." said his
friends, while he essayed to get his
mouth to that bung-hOle, so near and
yet SO far. Al the next house cup
was borrowed for Mr. Jagson's use.
Notwithstanding the suffering and
trouble which his nose brought him, it
was also the means of putting him in a
very lucrative position, he having been
employed by the national board of
health to search for yellow fever and
cholera germs. But here again was
trouble. 1t was believed that yellow
fever patient had escaped from quaran-
tine, and Mr. Jagson was put on the
trail. He followed it to house, but
found the door locked. He tried to
put his eye to the key-hole to see if the
man he wanted was in, but his eye was
too far back from the end of his nose,
and the scheme was failure. He re-
ported his ill-iuck to the board and re-
signed, and soon after died of a broken
eart-ArkdnsdaU Traveller.