davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03
'uW ecklY &euiem.
PUBLISHED KvERY WEDNESDAY BY
JOS. BOBLETER.
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ed free; but obituary notice., except In special
sases, will be charged at advertising rates.
Legal notices will be charged rs cts per folio for
The irst insertion, and IS cts per folio for eacl
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did assortment Of jobbing material, and we are
prepared to execute all kinds ofprinting In astyle
iRsrp ssed and at moderate rates.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03

Seize her quick. secure aud bind her,
Fer the missile dire she throws;
Or, tbs like, someone behind her
Gets it full upon the nose.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03
Bric-A-Brac.
sTHROEs
& -. - - -

THROEs
When lovely woman takes q notion
With brick to hit Il cal, Al
"A burning house, raging ocean
Where a far safer spot than thatI
Seize her quick, secure and bind her.
Ter the missile dire she throws;
Or. tits Ike, someone behind her
Gets 1t full upon the nose.
HOW HE KNEW.
It is said that the feet are much
larger in summer than in winter This
may be SO. but we suspect that the.
savant who made the discovery bases
his theory upon the fact that he
measured the footprint of his inamorata
in the snow when she had on her
French-heeled boots last winter, and
in the summer took his data from the
imprint Of her naked feet on the sea-.
shore.
THAT SETTLES IT.
81 vain they seek the Northern Pole;
There is no Pole;
There is no Hole;
The Ice Field doth but men caj0le.
MIXED IN HIS METAPHORS.
A foreigner got himself into heaps
OF trouble BY trying to compliment q
young lady. He wanted to tell her
that she had marble brow but got so
mixed up on synonyms that he inform
ed her instead that she had 50 stony
forehead. !"
ODE TO THE SUN.
Obi sultry. sulphurous, melting sun,
Js not thy daily course quite RUM
You scorch our skins SO soft and fair.
With hammock bliss You interfere
You melt our sweets, and warm our beer.
Excuse yourself, and leave us soon,
And send the calm and peaceful moon
PREACHING AND PBACTICE.
Are you union MANI" said Phila-
delphia girl to her lover. s.Certainly."
was the reply. t'Then let's unite"
she continued, taking advantage of
seap year.
TO A STOCKINGS.
Those symphonies In black,
Brave in their silken sheen,
The graceful sable hose,
With creaseless fit and clocking;
They're doomed. alas aalack!
The flying skirt ween
The dainty black silk stocking!
TRUE IF NOT CORRECT.
You want to know, do you, young
man, the difference between your hat and
your knowledgep Well, we reckon one
you wear and the other you air.s Isn't
right2 No, we know it isn't; but you
do it, all the same.
THE FINANCIAL OUTLOOK.
Ny X, courage strengthened as gazed;
The DID, old tale of love was told,
She glanced down her finger tips,
And then she spoke in accents low,
While bushes red Euffused her cheek,
may be wrong for me to ask,
But how much do you get week7'
A MEAN MAN.
ZONES is a miserable man, but is
very pleasant, said Brown. yes"
replied Smith; .'but it is his miserliness
that makes him SO pleasant. !" '.How's
thatp'., t'Why. don't you see, he hates
to lose anything, and therefore keeps
his temper. !"
SENTIMENT AND CASH.
Host a bird I knew not where,
And sought 1T east. north south, and
west;
climbed a chestnut tree, and there
found that bird in last years nest
lost dime one year ago,
And long its loss disturbed my rest;
But time at length healed all my woe
found that dime in last years vest.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03
THE FINANCIAL OUTLOOK.

Ny courage strengthened as gazed;
The words came rushing to my lips,
The old, old tale of love was told,
She glanced down her finger tips,
And then she spoke in accents low,
While bushes red suffused her cheek,
1t may be wrong for me to ask,
But how much do you get a week."
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03
A MEAN MAN.

ZONES is a miserable man, but is
very pleasant, said Brown. yes"
replied Smith; ''bnt it is,his miserliness
that makes him SO pleasant. /" '.How's
thatp',, why. don'tyou see, he hates
to lose anything, and therefore keeps
his temper. =
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03

When lovely woman takes notion
With brick to hit Il cat,
A burning house. a raging ocean
Where a far safer spot than thatl
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03

SENTIMENT AND CASH.
Host bird, knew not where,
And sought ssit east. north south, and
west;
climbed chestnut tree, and there
found that bird in last years nest.
Host dime one year ago,
And long its loss disturbed my rest:
But time at length healed all my woe
found that dime in last years vest.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03
PREACHING AND PBACTIcE.

Are you union man?'' said Phila-
delphia girl to her lover. Certainly"
was the reply. Then let's unite"
she continued, taking advantage Of
leap year.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03
HOW HE KNEW.

MIXED IN Els METAPHORS.
A foreigner got himself into heaps
Of trouble BY trying to compliment q
young lady. He wanted to tell her
that she had q marble brow but got so
mixed up on synonyms that he inform
ed her instead that she had so stony
forehead.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1884-09-03

sprlnglng forward. and putting out
both her hands to welcome her cousin.
.'She says am going to be an insig-
nificant little atom. instead Of growing
up tall and stately like herself.
How do You do. Regie?' said
Blanche. advancing, in her turn, to
greet him. II am glad to see you.
But you mustn't think / said anything
SO vain-sounding as Gracie's words
would Indicate / said she would al
ways be PETITE"
hat was . real compliment, Grace.
Il you should be ANYTHING but what
you are. ]. for one, should break my
heart Ronald, old fellow, how are
YOUR
Fine answered Ronald senten-
tiously. Look here!'' And he point
ed to the mute evidences of his hours
Of study. S..
Now, Ronald. let US girls have Re-
gle little while before YOU pin him
down to teach you. Then, without
giving Ronald time to gainsay her,
Grace said coaxingly: Come out into
the garden and see our new roses,''
with bright glance which her cousin
could no more resist than could bit of
steel hold back from magnet.
I'll be back soon, Ronald" he
said. and followed Grace.
Poor boy" he said to her as soon
as they were out of hearing distance,
che ought to have had my chance, he
would have made better use of it.
Nov. Reggie, you shan't undervalue
Yourself. You are inst sDlendid. and
we all of US think so.
'I'll prove what think when am
Of age. Ronald shall have every adj
vantage my money can give him. At
any rate. he should have had it by
right as much as /. 1t all came from
our grandfather.
Have you ever wondered what
might be in the sealed letter grandpa
leftp''
Eyes; but don't worry about it.
don't imagine it is anything very seri-
GUS. y
s.What If ha had some one in view
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
soRH LUCKY.
The memphis Nan who Got a1s 900.

Fortune seems to favor this neighborhood,
for hardly a Louisiana Lottery drawing takes
place without singing ont some lucky fellow in
Memphis OF this vicinity. At the last drawing
ticket No, 67,552 drew the fourth capital prize
of $4,000, and one-fifth was collected by the
German National Bank for Chris. Hettinger an
honest and industrious carpenter. Mr.. Hettin-
ger was looking over the morning Avalanche,
when he came to his number. He hastily re-
marked to a friend: "By Joe, 1 believe / have
struck itthis time,'' and brushed of for his ticket.
He was overioyed to find that it was a tally.
Ticket No. l., 1888 drew the first capital prize
of $751; 0 and one-ffth was held by Il well-to-
do farmer living In the quaint and picturesque
little town of Canadaville, Fayette, county,
Tenn. An Avalanche reporter paid a visit re-
Gently to Canadaville and was introduced to the
lucky farmer. His face was all aglow with
good nature. He said that his good fortune
enabled him to make some improvements in
his place that he had been long wanting to
make, but felt unable to do so. He said he
had begun life with nothing, but had ccumn-
lated and acquired a good farm. His $l5,-
zoo would enable him TO live comfortable and
serenely the rest of his life. He remarked to the
reporter that now he would have a W indmill-
something that his heart had long been set up
on. The farmer drew his money through the
Bank of Commerce of this city.-Memphis
(Tenn.) Avalanche, July 26.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
Old Fashioned Flowers.

From the Lancaster Intelligencer.
On many sides we see the evidences
that the old fashioned flowers are COM
ing into fresh favor. A bright lady
writer gives it as her experience and
observation that there is q decided res
toration of the flowers of our great
grandmothers' gardens, such as peonies,
peoples, hollyhocks, sweet williams,
Glove pinks, yellow lilies, c%olumbines,
blue-bells, fleur-de-lis, monks hood,
phloxes, lychnis, sweet sultan, and the
like. They are not only for the most
part beautiful in color and form, but a
great advantage of their cultivation is,
that when one planted they will de-
light the lenses for years, if a little at
tention Is only given to them in the
spring by digging about the roots and
applying q plentiful supply of rich COM
post. and dividing their roots in autumn
if too crowded. They bloom at a season
when flowers are most welcome.
Who that has been familiar with q
garden of q generation ago will notrecog-
ME this picture? nc make an old
fashioned garden there should be beds
OF Easter lllles' mingled with clumps OF
spider lllles n borders OF sweet vii
Hams md colnmblne OF every hue, inter
with circles OF such annuals as
mlgonette and sweet alyssum, edged
with bells or babys breath. Long
eds are made OF tullps OF all eolors,
single ana double, and clumps OF peon-
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
Oldest Of English Families.

Lord Palmerston's country residence
is known to have been near Romsey,
Hants. In the course of his accustomed
rides in the New Forest he saw q labor
ing man burning lime and entered into
familiar conversation with him, asking
to be obliged with his The
man replied it was Purkiss. Now, this
was the reply that was sought, and Pal
merston exclaimed, II Thought as much"
He accordingly asked the man if he
were descended from the lime-burner of
that name who earted away the body Of
William Rufus after his unfortunate
fall by the arrow of Sir Walter Tyrrel.
The man answered in the affirmative.
"Then give me your hand" said his
lordship, "for, though you are a laborer.
/ must not forget that you are a brother
Hampshire man, at the same time hand.
ing the man (if my memory serves mel
the medium OF procuring some refresh.
ments at his earliest cessation from toll
Thus said his lordship, in relating
the incident, II have had the great hon.
or of conversing with an honest work.
ingman who is descended from the old.
est family and bears the oldest surname
in England."-Notes and Queries.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
The Rearing Of Children.

We should make ourselves CONVEX
SAINT with those little parliamentary
rules which must govern the conduct Of
the parent in his or her social contact
with the child. A few suggestions
upon what constitutes etiquette, readi-
ly marking and contrasting the cult
waited parent and distinguishing him or
her from the vulgar, the snide, the
blebeian, the canailles (as we say in
Franco, might not be ill-timed or in
%opportune. In wiping q child's ose be
extremely careful to leave the nose.
Some parents use so much unnecessary
strength in doing this that they find
when tits too late that they have wiped
the nose of a pet child into space, moth
ing gives more needless pain. Moth
ing can be more pitiful than the child's
first look of sorrow and disappointment
when he starts to wipe his nose and
discovers that it is gone. Pause, fond
parent, while the wipe is in its incipien-
cy, and resolve that you will spare its
nose. It can be of no use to you, and
the loss of it will be a constant source
of annoyance to the child. Teach your
child the beauty of frankness and open
candor toward all. Impress upon him
the beauty of being what you appear to
be, and hate deception everywhere. II
you fondle him and dote on him in So
ciety, and then, when the home-life is
again resumed, you throw him down
cellar and wear out q table-leg on his
chubby limbs, he will learn that life is
real, life is earnest, and the ~square-toed-
rNa, from II ,,pIyou 10 ,rt ~ro,,nro1lr sr
use. Parents should Impress upon
their children the beauty of self-sacri-
flee and self-abnegation, if they know
what that is; 1 don't. If there should
be but n piece of pie, give it to "poor
sick papa" 1t may kill him, and after
the funeral your young life will be one
prolonged hallelujah and rose-tinted
whoop'em-up. Parents should not
be constantly suspicious of their child
ren. If you fear that your son is play
ing pin-pool, do not break down your
constitution and bring on delhium
tremens hanging around the pool-tables
watching all night for him. He will
look upon you with distrust, and no
doubt, at last, tell you to go and soak
your head.
do not constantly tell your boy "how
tall" he s-that he grows like weed"
and finally make him think he is a gi-
raffe. If you keep it up you will finally
make q round-shouldered, awkward,
bashful bean-pole out of Almighty good
looking boy. The same rule applies to
girls as we'll. If you want to make
your daughter fall over the piano and
learn to climb n tree whenever she sees
anybody come toward the house, tell
her "what a great s%walloping tom-boy
she is getting to be-" In this way, if
parents act judiciously and in concert.
we can soon have a nation of young
men and women whose marriage and
carriage will be as beautiful and as
symmetrical as the plaster cast of a
sore toe.-Denver Opinion.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
o1den Time Political AnimosiHes.

Men complain of the partisanship
of u politics, and predict that it Will
injure the national life. But as Ameri-
can politics have always been marked
by intense feeling, this view is a little
more gloomy than the facts Justify.
The political campaigns of u grand
fathers and our fathers were fully as
exciting and bitter as those of the pres
ent, yet the Republic still lives. Our
Presidential campaigns are disgraced by
fierce assaults upon the private charac-
tiers of public men. But disgraceful as
they are, they are equalled by
the calumnies which Wing and Demo-
crat hurled at each other fifty years
ago, when Clay and jackson were ri
walls. An amusing story illustrates the
violent feelings which then swayed the
partisans of these political leaders.
In Daviess County, KY, at the time
when Henry Clay vas leading the OPP
position to Gen. Jackson, who was a
candidate for the Presidency, there
lived apIain, industrious farmer. He
was an ardent politician, noted for his
hostility to Clay and his party.
But his interest in politics did not
make him Indifferent to his wife's hap
piness. While in town one day, he
thought he would surprise the good
by presenting her with a new
set Of dishes. He selected apretty pat
tern, and being in a hurry, did not ex-
anime them closely, but had them
packed and placed in 1lis wagon. His
wife was delighted with the gift, but no
slight examination satisfied her feminine
curiosity. In turning over a dish, she
discovered on the under side a portrait
of Henry Clay. Every piece was thus
marked. Thinking to tease her hus-
band, she askedif he had looked closely
at the dishes.
NO" said he. Anything wrong
with them?"
ooh no! But / was a little surprised
at your sudden change of politics"
"Change of politics! What do you
mean?" shouted the husband, as excited
as if he had been charged with a crime.
Picking up a plate, he saw the por-
trait. As promptly as if he We're pun
ishing a robber he gathered up the
dishes, and carrying them to the door,
broke them in fragments on the stone
steps. He purchased another set OF
dishes in a few days, but not until he
had ascertained that there was nopolit-
ical heresy painted on them. Youths
Companion.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
Power Of Music.

It is true that most persons are more
impressed by what they see than by
what thev hear; SO that it has became a
maxim that one learns more readily
through the eye than through the ear.
But nature is a compromising mother.
If the eye begets the most lasting I'M
preston, the ear imparts the most ac-
tive stimulant. Few artists who appeal
to the eye have so aroused the vital ac-
ton as those who seek the ear. An illus
tration o the power of sound, expressed
in fitting music to fitting words, is
given by Ben Perley Poor in the Bos-
ton Budget. He says:
Jenny Limbs ballad-singing carried
her Washington audiences by storm.
Without in the slightest degree COM
promising its character of a single bal
lad, she infused into every line of 1t
more of the poetic spirit and meaning
than the words, upon the mere read
ing seemed to contain.
1t was often the outpouring Of the
soul of u Scottish peasant lassie, yet it
was n of the most sparkling pieces of
vocalization aver listened to.
What wonderous versatility was here
From Bellini to Burns-from the high
est reach of Italian art to the most
honnely simplicity Of Scottish minstrelsy
and the same effects produced by
each!
At the close of her singing of the
"Last Rose of Summer" on one occa-
sion, Mr.. Webster, who occupied a
front seat, joined in demanding its re-
petition, and when Miss Lind came on
the stage again he rose and bowed low
thrice, his swarthy features CLEAN
ing with qualification. The audience
Endorsed the compliment with
yociferous applause.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
Rough on Payns,s sauattsra.

A Dispatch says that Gen. Hatch moved his
headquarters from Caldwell, Kansas, Wednes-
day, his camp being twenty-five miles south
east, on the Chickaskia river, where six com.
panies of the Ninth cavalry are concentrated
Operations will probably continue until the
last intruder on the Indian country has been
expelled. The impression prevails at Rock
Falls few miles below, that HONEYWELL will
be raided first, the printing press and belong
ings confscated and the contents of the noto-
rious drug store destroyed, and that Payne and
his ring leaders will be marched to Fort Smith
to answer numerous indictments in the fed
eral court. The valley settlement will prob
ably be cleared up next by detatchments of
troops striking simultaneously from nnmer-
GUS camps along the Cimarron and tho
north fork of the Canadian river. All inn
proyements will be destroyed. The bestinfor-
nation attainable places the number Of the
boomers at 1900.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
What there Is in a Bottle.

.#H.E. HHH
Sufficient to stop in five minutes the
smarting, singing pain of 100 burns or
scalds. 1t will stop the pain as soon as
applied.
Abundance to cure a score of colds and
the coughing hat often leads the way to
Consumption. IT WILL POSITIVELY ease
a Cough in fifteen minutes.
More than enough to save o dozen
children Choking with Group. One
minute after the first dose the hardest
attack of Group will be relieved.
Plenty to relieve the oppression and
wheeling Of the most severe case of
of Asthma. The direct cure of Asthma
by this medicine is proof that DIR. Thorn
as Electric Oilhas no equel as an Asth-
ma cure.
In the above cases DR.. Thomas Eclec.
tric Oil can be relied upon. 1t has Civ
en- relief to thousands. Keep it in your
house. There is hardly a week of the
year it will not be useful.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22
working III Soil.

Flowing and narrowing have long
been the two chief operations in cult
walton, and the general idea has been
that we plowed the land SO it would
harrow easier, and that narrowing was
done to make the soil loose so we could
put the seed in. For general purposes
these reasons are sufficient as long as
they insure thoroughness in the work.
But we can easily apply a well-known
principle that will help us understand
the Importance Of the work and aid us
in some cases to decide what to do and
when to do it. All substances decay
faster when exposed to air and moisture
therefore the more the soils stirred and
%pulverized the more plant-food will be
developed.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1884-08-22

By direction of the secretary of war Orderly
Sergeant Martin Schocht, United States army,
will be relieved from duty Mt Fort Rutord, Oak. ,
and proceed to Fort Pike, Louisiana. Orderly
Sergeant Cooney upon being thus relieved will
proceed to Fort Buford, Oak, and report to
the commanding officer for assignment. The
following named second lieutenants recently
promoted from non-comnissioned ~officers) will
proceed from Fort Monroe, Va, to the respec-
tive companies to which they have been as
signed: Alfred S. Frost, Twenty-tifth infantry,
Company F, Fort Smelling, Mimi. Leon 5, Ran
diez, Fifteenth infantry, Company D, FortPem-
station within thirty days, over and above the
time necessary to reach them in the ordinary
course, it will be deemed a compliance with
this order. The detail of the following named
officer as acting judge advocate for the depart
ment designated, to date from July 5, 1854, is
announced: Capt. John r. Myrick, Third ar
tillery, department of Dakota.