The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, 1884-10-22
LOVE MAKING In CHURCH.
THE VIEWS OF A WASHINGTON
PASTOR ON THE SUBJECT.

Nights, Evade the Ushers and make
Love on tho Back Seats.
The preacher is fitting back in his
chair, gazing in an abstracted manner at
a Washington Star reporter, who was
on the opposite side Of the desk in the
pastors study, writing out some relig-
ious information for the columns Of the
Star. AS the reporter finished his
work and was gathering together the pa
pers, he glanced across at the preacher
and noticed the preoccupied expression
Of his face. Anticipating that he might
have something more to say Of interest,
the reporter settled back in his seat, and
without interrupting the silence, awaited
developments. The reporter gazed at
the preacher and the preacher gazed at
the reporter, but tho silence remained
unbroken.
Presently the reverend gentleman re-
marked, as il thinking aloud: II shall
have to begin shortly another series of
Back Seat Sermons"
"Ah, indeed |" observed the listener,
entirely in the dark as to the meaning OF
the reverend gentleman. and then the
reporter fastened to add on = venture :
"Doctrinal scrm ons, I suppose ?"
"Doctrinal sermons ?' echoed the
preacher in almost q shout, as he
brought his chair down with a crash
that threatened the springs, What ara
ou talking about ?''
"Well, thought-that is to say.
supposed - sta,nlnered the reporter,
considerably abashed
'Do you pretend that you don't know
what I mean ?" asked the preacher,
with an appearance Of astonishment.
The reporter confessed without a
blush to this alarming ignorance.
WELL" concluded the preacher. char
itably, 81 suppose you have been mar
risd some time and have forgotten about
your counting days. Now let inc ask
you one question. How did you and
your sweetheart generally spend Sun
day evening""
"Let mo sec," reflected tho reporter,
come what astonished at this turn in the
conversation. II think that We usually
went TO church II Il wasn't too cool or
too hot. She was rather delicate, and
had to be careful about going out at
night, you know he added half apollo
getically.
'Oh certainly, Of course" said the
preacher, and he leaned back and look ed
at the reporter with one eye shut, very
suggestive Of worldly wink. Now,
when you went to church you invaria-
bly, sat as far back as you could get.
OF course you did. Now, why did you
do that?"
The listener pondered that question,
and aS the events Of the happy period
passed in review before his mental Wis
ion he smiled and laughed out loud.
"You see," at last said the reporter, aim
ing to make sensible explanation, "she
wanted to sec the bonnets Of the other
girls, as is natural with women when
they 80 to church or any other public
place, and wanted to see her, and so,
of course, We couldn't go way up front" "
and the reporter paused.
The preacher nodded his head approx
ingly during the explanation, as if it
was just what he expected. and then
said: "Your reasons, suppose, are
just as good as could be given. At any
rate, all young couples on Sunday night
make for the back seats, and they won't
take any other. An usher may start on
ahead. and they will let him go and then
drop into back seat, and when he turns
around at the head Of the aisle with q
pleasant smile to show them into q good
front pew, he generally finds to his dis
gust that no one is behind him. That
sort Of thing has deprived the church Of
many All efficient usher. They can't
stand the humiliation Of usherins up
the aisle nothing and then walk back to
face a smiling congregation. 1t breaks
them all up, so to speak,"
"Eow, what is the result Of this sor,
Of thing?' continued the preacher, ar.
gumcntatiyely. "When rise in nv
pulpit on Sunday evening and look owe,
the congregation, what do l see ? Ir
the pews near the front are tho deacons
and elders, good men with their shining
bald heads and attentive faces. Thei,
wives are with them, and here and there
is maiden lady. Then in the centre j.
a broad desert Of empty pews, and ava,
back in the rear massed around thu
doors, as you might say. are young pco
pie, always in pairs. am glad to Sc,
them. / always preach better to tn,
young. and plunge into my sermon Will
energy and animation. After a particu
larly telling point, aimed right at thes,
young people, | look up to enforce Will
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