Connecticut western news., 1884-07-02
WIT AND WISDOM.
,oLIrnxrss before lorce.

ANkAAhNAa9a hNtNAN ANANNf
 STRAIaHr trees are felled first.
 MoNEY makes blind man see.
 No NEEDLE is sharp at both ends.
 DoNT make dumpmgs in a teapot
 DoN'T make pole ax to kill fowl.
 DoN'r break Q vase for shy nt a raj. HE who rites a tiger cannot dismount BETTER a dog at peace than n man in war.
 No MEDICINE is as good as middling doctor.
 EVERY one gives n shove to the tum- bling wall.
 WOMEN share university better than prosperity.
 A MAN thinks he knows, but n woman knows better.
 A NEAR neighbor is better than a dis tant relation.
 You can't chip thing as round as you can pare it.
 DEAL with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
 ONLY imbeciles want credit for tho achievements of their ancestors. A NoIsEnEss roller skate has been in- vented, but tho bumps on the floor sound as loud as ever. TIE man who is most given to count ing chickens before they are matched is the agent for patent incubator
 YES, boy may be messenger.boy and still possess lots of that sterling quality called sand. But 1t is not quick sand.-Puck
 SOME one says; "At fed limo Ash will appear at the sound of whistle" !" Yes, we've often noticed this when we've been in a restaurant.
 AN exchange says one of tho most striking things in the world is a clock. We know nnother--it is an auotioneer's hammer; it knocks down whatever it sets mp.
 DAVID thought he was doing Q big thing when he slew tho giant Goliath with sling. That's nothing. The mod ern sling, of American gin, has killed its thousands
 WHEN young woman is in love she turns 10 the poets corner first on pick. ing up the local paper. After sho is married, to the advertisements of tho dry goods stores.
 THis is the season of tho year whom the children ask to hull the strawberries and after the job is done the mother is shocked at the small quantity which the 1884 boxes hold.
 A SMALL boy being asked tho old oo- nundrum, "What is home without mother ?" after due dehberatiou replied: "Guess it's n place where there's never no house cleaning"
 PEOPLE who talk about going away to spend the Summer talk nonsense. The Summer doesn't belong to them. The ice men and the ice cream dealers hold first mortgage.
 Mas. ABsAboM WBIouT, of Peoria, has just presented her husband with trip- lets; aud now the poor man would like to know what crauk "would rather bo Wright than President"
 WHY couldn't our forefathers have "ht into tho Revolution" along in cool weather, say just "after having, as well as to make the Fourth of July como when lemons arc eleven dollars a boxH
 A ooNUNpRuM friend asks: "What is the difference between Italy and boy who has Q penchant for shining up trees ?" As if we didn't know that one is Q sunny cline aud the other is a climb-y son
 WHEN a young man walks with girl as though he is afraid some one will see him, the girl is his sister. If he walks 10 close to her as io nearly crowd her against the fence she is some one else'a sister.
 A RICH contractor was holding forth upon the instability of the world. "Can you account for it, sir ?" he asked, turn ing to Foote. "well, not very clearly, he responded, "unless we suppose it was built by contract"
 LITTLE Mile Jeanne was finishing her dinner. She had already eaten Q small saucer of strawberries, aud waa preparing to eat another, when her mother gently stopped her. You know one of these sauoers was for mo, sho said. Mile. Jeanne hesitated for mo ment, and then exclaimed suddenly; "What n pity; ate yours first '