The Austin weekly statesman. (Austin, Tex.) 1883-1898, 1884-03-06
A SPECIAL PLEA.

ELL LOT INC pOSlLlOQ Oh commissioner
D the New Orleans worlds fair, COM {
lencing next December. We are not {
urprlsed at anything these days. ;
We are past the point since Mr.. Har-
enbrook of the Post uses its columns,
.ye, not only uses them but burdens
hem with urgings of himself for the
,lace. Time was once when it was
of doubtful taste for an ed
tor to enter the ranks of the noble
armies Of aspirants and expectants
You see it is expected of an editor to
tell the people and the appointing |
powers frankly and impartially who |
is the best man for a given place, and
to broadly discuss merits in conLec-
ton with the real or supposed execu-
tive preferences. We fear,
we sadly fear, that neither
Mr.. Elliott nor Mr.. Hardenbrook is in
a position to handle this matter i'm
partially. 1t is little like the muir
derer sitting on jury which is trying
his own case, and that would never do
at all, at all But bad felture Of the
thing is, that while these papers and
their managers and editors are known
as thick and thin panoplists of his ex-
cellency, yet they do not hesitate to
present this poisoned chalice ruthless
ly to his paid lips: if he appoints
either, the other will be disobliged and
Immediately transformed into a roar
ing lion going about seeking for state
executives whom he might devour.
And also, if either is appointed the
people will say, and with justice too,
that the governor should not appoint
man simply because he holds the
tiller rope upon friendly newspaper.
but who is otherwise totally devoid of
either fitness, claim or other qualifica-
ton.
Mr.. Elliott's modesty, in concealing,
OF rather Withholding from this most
remarkable journalistic feat his own
name and that of his venerable ma
ternal ancestor, is peculiarly, aye,
ravishingly touching. The vastness
of his fitness for the place is set forth
in the fact that in other and bye-gone
days he has tusselled in person with
yellow jack and came off first best, and
his aforesaid, and above, "parient' was
also skillful nurse. How can his
excellent excellency overlook qualifi-
cations such as these, when seeking
for representative of this great state
near the court of his majesty Rex
Says he, "Cuba, Mexico, and Central
and South America will have theil
representatives there" These will
bring in with their packages the
deadly plague germs Cheerful propo.
sition), and the devil will be
to pay generally if some one
of the Elliott fraternity is not on the
ground from Texas, as commissioner
to grapple vigorously and promptly
with his saffron terrors. Ali how
ones heart throbs with the excess Of
his own anxiety for fear the govern.
or of broad Texas may possibly neg
lect to take this profound suggestion
to his heart of hearts.
"Texas being in such close terrific
rial proximity to the point where this
dreaded plague may break out" has
but one resource, there is but one
breakwater to interpose between hel
and this dreadful possibility. 1t is
to at once appoint Mr.. Elliott as hel
commissioner. Should she do this
her loins Will be girded about, ant
not yellow jack, jackdaw, nor jack ass
may prevail against her nor inveiglt
into her sacred precincts, the dreaded
plague which Mtc.Elliott is very near
ly certain will come through thi.
hitherto neglected portal Of death tc
devastate and lay waste
her beautiful tlower-bedeeteG
prairies. Mr.. Elliott's bowels
met with the fervency of his pity
which in this instance, reaches out
and unselfishly takes in even remote
possibilities. o. philanthropy, how
art thou glorified! The well sknown
sterling integrity and faithful friend
ship" of Mr.. Elliott, in Mr.. Elliott s
opinion, will induce him to send a
special streak of lightning over the
wires to promptly apprise Texas of
the dreadful advent of the tropic-
death. And now, if his excellency
does appoint any one else commits
sioner after this, he ought to be hung,
drawn and quartered, and the clergy
man attempting to smooth his path
way to the tomb, should be destroyed
by the most hideous fortunes known
20 the utter refinement of the most
devilish cruelty.
"This writer" says this most re-
markable article, cloves New Orleans
devotedly,'' doubtless, and therefore
would make a Texan commissioner
above and beyond reproach. But the
mother of this writer" made a flag sun
der which her heroic progeny marched,
carbine in hand, to the dreadful
breech, and by that route to victory.
Therefore he would make a better
commissioner than Bohemian Harden
brook, who sadly and tearfully points
only to an obscure career as a New
York newspaper man of doubtful
democracy and totally ignorant alike
of New Orleans and his saffron
plumed majesty, yellow jack. And
in addition to all this poor Harden
brook did not share in the glories of
the crescent city in ante bellum days.
The poor devil, Hardenbrook, never
wept over New Orleans in the days of
her post bellum distress, on the con-
trary, from the geography of his birth
place it is almost morally certain that
he even rejoiced when her evil days
came and danced for joy when her
fear fell upon her.
Now, as "TexiaD," "Texican" or
Texan, Mr.. Elliott's heart is dreadfully
burdened with the possibility that
harm may come to her by and through
this risky exposition, if this member
of the Elliott brigade who "rejoiced in
her victories" is not appointed COM
missioner from Texas. Now then, in
the light of all this, the governor of
m.