The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-09-03
THE COLOR OF THE CALF.
AN ACCOUNT or A WONDERFUL Ru-
RAJ MYSTERY.
A Calf which was sometimes ROnn
and ns Often He'd and white
UlncIc IcrrVss story.

Uncle Jerry's story.
"How air yer, boys9 rm glad ter see
YER said Uncle Jerry, as he mopped his
rcd face vigorously. "Cum cen an sot
down; I've got sumpin' ter tell yer I've
been down ter Princeville, an I've got
ther best joke on Fred Beach yer ever
heard Yer see, Fred he went Ter sale
sum time ago an bought red COW fer
$40. Quite likely ole COW she wer,
too, an wer sed ter be good mixer.
Well, Fred he brought ther COW home
an turned her inter Dan lIitchcock's
paster. lie uset Ter go down an salt her
wonCt in while, an one AFTERNOON he
went down, an, be gosh ther ole cow
he'd loetle roam caff. 1t were very
peart calT too, an butted Fred fust
thing. He wuz much tickled, an went
back home ter tell his wife ez how ther
ole COW he'd roam cafT That evenin'
they both went down ter milk ther COW,
ez size wuz a great milker an Civ more'n
ther caf cud drink. When they got ter
ther paster thar wuz ther ole COW, but
ther caff she he'd with her wuz a red an
white one. Missus Bach she laffed an
sed: Fred, l reckon yer a putty good
jedge NV thur euler NV caff; l thot yer
sed that wuz u roam caff.
Z" I'm blamed eff it wuzn't roam caff
when l seed it fust, said Fred, a scratch
in his head an lookin' troubled.
See here, Fred, sed Missus Beach,
suddent an sharp like, hev yer got 'em
agin 2
Erred wuzn't much surprised, ez q
feller'd naturally suppose he wud be, fCI
he'd bean drinkin' putty hevy NV late, an
wuz thinkin' NV it himself. He Just sed,
1 reckon kind NV meek like, an sot
down ter milk thyr COW. Nothin' wuz
sed durin' ther millSin' but both NV 'em
KEEP a-lookin' kind NV anxious at ther
calf, ez eff they wuz expectin' it ter change
euler. When Fred got thru milllin he
TUX long look at ther caff, hove a big
sigh an sed: We'll, Mary, I'll come
down here an do ther millxin' termorrer
mornin' an ef that caff changes euler
| agin, I'll go ter bed an send fer Doc
Marcy"
Erred an his wife ct supper mighty
solem that night, an Fred didn't take
his appetizer ez usual. He moped aroun
town that night, sayin' nothin' ter no.
body. Next mornin' he went ter theI
| paster mighty nervus, and when he clim'
ther fence an looked over at ther ole COW
blamed eff ther caf wuzn't roam agin.
That settled it. lie wuz so shaky
an scarf while he wuz mill1in' that he
cudn't git ther strippin's, an lost all thei
cream. When he got home he shucked
his duds an went ter bed, without sayin'
a word to his wife She knowed what
wuz up for she he'd tended him many q
time when he wuz ther same way. She
went ter ther butcher shop an got sum
ice, an called Doc Marcy on her way
home. Doc he sed it was mild form
an wudn't last long, but Fred he looked
powerful bad. An long in ther arter-
noon his mind begin ter wander, an he
laid thar an mumbled 'roan an red an
white, an roam all AFTERNOON.
''In ther evenin' ther COW cum up her.
self ter ther house, an Fred heard ther
catf bawl, an he rolled over an looked
outen ther winder an ther catf wuz red
an white agin. An then he shut his eyes
an shuddered kinder, an called his wife
fer another drink nv ice,water An so
ther ole COW kept a,comin' up nights an
mornin's ter be MIXED, an every uther
time ther catf wud be roam, and every
uther time it wud be red an white; an
every time Fred he wud look outen ther
winder an see it, an then roll over an
drink more ice-water
"But ther fun NV it wuz, yer see, that
NIissus Beach she wud see ther caff ther
same way Fred seed it, an she got scarf,
too. An finely she sez ter Fred: 4
guess yer amt got 'em, Fred. Brace up,
now, like good feler, an git up an be
well. | see ther caf just ther same ez
you do, an ther amt nuthin' wrong with
me, an so thar amt nuthin' wrong with
you
"FTed he looked at his wife kind NV
solem an sez: Il don't care Mary, how
you see that caff; l kin see it too, an it
changes euler twice day, reglar. Thar
amt no animal in ther wor eZ kin do
that, Mary, 'cept the leperd in ther Bible.
guess yer hev got 'em yerself, but |
didn't think you'd drink. Mary. Eff Yer
drinkin' that liker l got frum Frank
Hitchcock yer'd better stop it, fer yer'll
see snakes instid NV calves inside NV O
week, sure
'An' so ther ole COW KEEP a-comin' up,
an ther catf KEEP a-changin' euler an
Fred waz a-gittin' wuss, till one day a
leetle boy cum ter ther door NV Fred's
house and knocked. Missus Beach she
wuz out, an Fred hollered fer him to cum
in. An the leetle boy he cum In an sed
'Pleze, Mister Beach, yer ole COW is out,
an her an her two calves is on ther rail
road track, an will git ruu over.
"'Two calves I! yelled Fred, a-jumpin
out NV bed. Great gosh! why didn't
think NV that aforen An he pulled or
his trousers an run out in ther road bare
foot, an thar wuz that cussed ole COW
with twin calves, one roam, an tothel
red an white. - Chjcdgo NetCs.