The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1884-08-30
LhaAha aUhaG aHhaAhaBhaL6.E.

Great staying powers-those OF tho
girl OF the period.--Liie.
As the evenings begin TO lengthen
the gas bills begin to lengthen.-Rx-
change. ...
Gen. Buffers favorite poet is Moore.
The Gen. never did know when he had
enough.-Ex.
Tramps never read newspapers.
Tho advertisements in the column OF
"Help Wanted" are too saddening,-
Exdcange.
Written rules on kissing arc OF no
avail. 1t is scianee that must be trans
mitted from mouth 70 mouth.--Ex-
change. u $3.50 ecei .sser
Bricks made OF cork constitute onc
OF the new German industries They
would work up we'll in building light
houses.-Ex.
Doan' think dat bsrcAso or 'oaman
likes gay colors she's week. Natur'
puts de brightest tech on de fines
flowers. ."-Ex,
Down in New Jersey they never say
"it's going 70 rain to-day" but, "heilol
somebody's going on a picnic. ."-Ex-
change.
A woman of Greenwood, Maine, is
reported to be cutting her fourth set
of teeth. Why, what's the matter?
Don't they fitY-Ex.
Temperance principles seem to be
spreading. Even the hotels at the
watering places are not more than
half full.-=Oil City Derrick.
The annual production of beer in
this country gives 400 mugs to every
inhabitant. Have you disposed of
your sharei-Hurtford Post.
The Vienna police have arrested a
Mormon missionary named Hammer.
1t would seem that he did not strike
the Austrians favorably.-Ex.
"Annex Canadal" cried the bank
cashier. Heavens, no; l hope not
1t would iust take away all chances OF
success in my profession. "-Ex.
| Sportive widower.-"How much bet.
ter y are than wife, old clocky! The
smaller the hour (hic) feller goes
'ome the less nois you make about it.
Life. --.'' .''---
| Animals are not allowed in sleeping
cars; but why do the companies draw
the line at this point7 II they in
cluded insects, it would please patron:
| betteI.-Ex.
| "They used to tell me that the la
dies dressed to death in the city" re
marked Homespun, at the evening
party in the metropolis ;"but dang mi
III they've got much on tonight, an.
Of 'em." Homespun, probably, wa
unaware that beauty unadorned i
adorned the most.-Ex.
l "May ] have the pleasure Of seeing
lyon homer he bashfully asked
Certainly" she graciously replied
! There Is . high hill just In front Q
the house, or, il you prefer it, you Cal
climb a big tree in the COW lot. G
! anywhere where You can get q goo'
. ."-Pittsburg Chronicle.
I Biunkihs md his wife had been in
dulging IN d family discordance, an
! finally Mrs, B. exclaimed, "Well, Nv
got my opinion Of any man who talk
as you do" ssf
4lGoh, have your Well, you ca
, keep it ifyou want to-"
'No, | cant either, It's so awful
bad that it wont keep.1Exs 5.,,5
Il Parson--"I'se been rec'mended
ply hyar to 'btain supply Of win
fur church purposes, an am tole ds
you hab good article on han.
Dealer-"Well, yes; we have q sup'
rior line of goods. What kind woul
I, you likef"'' Parson-"Well, dat's d
question. For myself, Use not yer
'ticular, but as some OBJ de ladies hay
! 'spressed q preference TO gin, ] tin
: I'll take bout TO- gallons OBJ do bes' yo
hab."-Washington Hatchet.
al A gentlemen rodeap to small bo
= sitting on the fence in front of h
home and inquired if he lived !
"a there.
n II try to-" he replied.
ri "Well, my boy, want teknow whit
time it is can you tell mef"
% Eyes, kin |; / wuz in the house ]
' five minutes ago and the old clock W,
:, a pintin' al 1even."
"What kind OF time do you keep
"Oh, us keeps all kinds"
\
u "But | moan do you have solar {
standard timer"
H. "That's what said. We have 9
kinds"
lg ~ don't understand you"
"Don't yerf Well, come TO ol
70 house and live awhile and yer'll lear