davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-16
THE SOLEMN ENGLISH JOKE.
Analysed from a Phil0sOphic and
Realistic Standpoint.

The average English joke has it's
peculisrities. A sort OF mellow dis
tance; a kind of cbastened reluct-
ance. A coy and timid, yet trusting,
though evanescent intangibility;
which softly fingers in the troubled
air, and lulls the tired senses to o
dreamy rest, like the subdued muir
muir OF boarse jackass, about nine
miles up the gulch.
He must be hardened wretch, in
deed, who has not felt his bosom
heave and the scalding tears steal
down his furrowed cheek after he has
read an English joke. There can be
no hope for the man VINO has not
been touched by the gentle, pleading.
yet Rll-potent sadness embodied in
the humorous paragraph OF the true
Englishman.
One may fritter away his exiatence
ia chasing the iollies of our day and
generation, and have naught to look
back upon but ehoice assortment of
robust regrets: but if he will stop in
his mad career to read an English
pun, his attention would be called O
the SOLEMN thought that lie ia after
all but a fearful journey to the tomb.
Death ard disaster en- every hand
may fill to turn the minds of
thoughtIess world to serious matters,
but when the London funny man
erapples with alparticular, skittlsbIand
evasive joke, with its weeping willow
attachment, and hurls it at giddy
and reckless humanity, q prolonged
vail OF anguish goes up frsm broken
hearts, and somber pail hangs in
the gladstone sky like pair of soldier
pants with only one suspender.
If the lost and undena victim to
the catalogue of damning vice and
enervating dissipation. will for 8
moment turn his mind to the solemn
consideration OF The London Punch,
and wrestle with it alone where tine
prying eyes OF the world cannot PEN
citrate, though unused to tears, the
fountains of the great deep in bis
nature will be opened up. and he will
see the blackness OF intense darkness
which surrounds him, and be led to
penitence and abiect humility.
The mission OF the English humor.
let is to darken the horizon and shut
out the false and treachereus Joy of
existence-to shut out the beauty OF
the landscape and scatter SO gloom
over the glad green earth.
English humor is like sore foe.
1t makes you glad when you get over
IL. It ia like having the smallpox,
because il you live through 10 you are
not likely to have it again.
When We pass from earth. and our
place is filed by another sad.eye1
genius whose pants are too short. and
who maniIssts other signs OF great
ness, let no stories urn or animated
bust be placed above our lowly resting
place, but stuff an English conun.
drum SO that it will look as it did in
life, and let it stand above our silent
bust to shed its damp and bilious in
fluence through the cemetery as q
monument of desolation and q foun-
tain OF unshed tears, aud the grave
rohber will shun our final resting
place az he would the melon patch
where turks the spring gun and the
alert and irritable bulldog.--Bsll
Nye.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-16
Origin of Ammonia.

Ammonia is obtained in large guam
titles by the putrefaction of the
urine of animals. Encyclopedia
Britannica.
Every housekeeper csn test bak-
ing powder containing this disgust
ing drug by placing can Of the
HRoyal" or "AndreYs' Pearl" top
down on hot stove until heated,
then remove the cover and smell.
DIR. Prices Cream Baking Powder
does not contain Ammonia, Alum,
Lime, Potash, Bone Pnosphates. Ii
is prepared by a Physician and
Chemist with special regard to
cleanliness and healthfulness.
Prove it By the above test,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-16

Carl Pfetzel says that ''no woman
on earth resembles an angel on
Monday morning, when her
thoughts are sweetly resting on a
bag Of unwashed habiliments.'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1884-07-16
THE MAILS.


When They Arrive and De-
part
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
SCIENCE AND MATER1ALIsM.

Lord Rayleigh, president of the British As
ISOLATION for the Advancement of Science, is
recognized as one of the most eminent mathe-
maticians now living. His address at the
opening of the Montreal meeting, on the 9th
ult., was a clear and admirable sketch Of the
progress made within the last few years in
the several departments of physical science.
The main subjects presented were the various
applications Of electricity, the mechanical
theory of heat, the dissipation Of energy, the
nature of gaseous yiscosity, the telephone,
the photograph, the scientific work of j.
Clerk Maxwell, the true character Of science
and the relative value of classical and scien-
tiic studies. The distinguished speaker
closed his address with the following remarks
on the question-often referred to with inter
est in recent years-whether the study of
physical science naturally tends to material
ism:
''There Is one objection often felt to a mod
ernized education, as to which a word may
not be without use. Many excellent people
are afraid of science as tending towards ma
terialism. That such apprehension should ex-
list is not surprising, for unfortunately there
are writer's, speaking in the name of science,
who have set themselves to foster it. 1t is
true that among scientific men, as in other
classes, crude views are to be met with as to
the deeper things of nature; but that the life
long beliefs of Newton, of Faraday, and of
Maxwell, are inconsistent with the scientific
habit Of mind, is surely a proposition which
| need not pause to refute. It would be easy,
however, to lay too much stress upon the
opinions of even such distinguished workers
as these. Men who devote their lives to in
yestigation, cultivate a love of truth for its
own sake, and endeavor instinctively to clear
up, and not, as is too often the object in -busi-
ness and politics, to obscure a difficult ques-
ton. So far the opinion of a scientific worker
may have a special value; but | do not think
that he has a claim, superior to that
of other educated men, to assume the atti-
tude of a prophet. In his heart he knows that
underneath the theories that he constructs
there lie contradictions which he cannot rec
onclle. The higher mysteries of being, if
penetrable at all by human intellect, require
other weapons than those of calculation and
experiment.
without encroaching upon grounds apper-
tanning TO tie theologian and the philosopher,
the domain of natural science is surely broad
enough to satisfy the widest ambition of its
d~evotees. In other departments of human
life and interest, true progress is rather an
article of faith than a rational belief; but in
science a retrograde movement is, from the
nature of the case, almost impossible. In
creasing knowledge brings with it increasing
power, and great as are the triumphs of the
present century, we may well believe that they
are but a f~oretaste Of what discovery and in
vention have yet in store for mankind. En-
couraged by the thought that our labors can
not be thrown away, let us redouble our eff
forts in the noble struggle"
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
POLITICAL NOTE AND GOSSIP.

THE Buffalo Express thinks that Hendricks is
trying to crowd Cleveland off the ticket. His
holiness in taking the stump, and his letter to a
Dubuque Democrat, certainly favor that view.
C~INcINNATI Commercial Gazette: If the
Democratic national committee could persuade
Hendricks that silence is golden. the Democrats
might have some chance of carrying Indiana in
November.
THE plan Of making an appeal to the party for
a popular campaign fund has been adopted by
| the Iowa Republicans, and every farmer, me-
chanic and professional man is to be asked to
contribute.
BLAINE's letter: It Is not in the interest of
the Republic that any economic system should
be adopted which involves the reduction of wages
to the hard standard prevailing elsewhere. The
Republican party aims to elevate and dignity
labor-not to degrade it
THE Chicago Times remarks that it .shas been
the persistent misfortune of Mr.. Hendricks
career of politician that his ambition to be Presi-
dent has transcribed his fidelity to the princi-
pies of morality that ought to guide even profess
sional politicians in their relations of mutual
confidence and trust
1T is charged BY the Boston Pilot that Gen
eral Bragg, the Wisconsin congressman, said at
the Democratic national convention that ssthe
Irish might go to h and that he has repeat
edly advised his party to cut loose from this race.
1t looks as if the Irish were cutting loose from
Democracy, at any rate.
OGDENsBURG IN. Y.lJournaI: That MI. Cleve-
land is in some respects and places a strong cam
didate cannot be denied. He is making a splen-
did run in Canada, and his popularity in London
continues unabated. He is also developing un-
expected strength in the West Indies, and is re-
garded with considerably more favor in the CITY
Of Mexico than is Mr.. Blaine.
New YORK Tribune: The dependents who
have yearned unutterably to have ex-President
Woolsey, Of Yale, decline to act as an elector on
the Republican electoral ticket. will have to pun
through with that yearning unsatished. The
venerable ex-president declares that he shall vote
for Blaine of course; and he does not see how
any one can support Cleveland. Gone to ioin
the other 'rif-raf' that surrounds Blaine.
NEW YORK Tribune: The struggle in Maine
is nearly over. The Democrats are spending
money, as they did four years ago. Failing to
convince the people by argument, they arc try
| ing to corrupt them by bribery. The free-trade
boilers have organized, scattered circulars and
ISLANDERS all over the State. and pretend to
have a support amounting to thousands of votes.
If with a full vote they fail to give the State to
the Democrats, it will be q proof that their
boasts are false and their SANDERS vain and fruit.
less.
NOT since 1872 has there been such activity
among the Republicans and the Liberals Of
North Carolina as this year. The enthusiasm
for Blaine Is simply wonderful, even in the west
ern counties, where the population is mostly
white. The Two candidE . for Governor, York
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06

ocrats of this city was held, and he was by
said caucus requested not to vote for said
bill. He further knows that his father,
Major Hendricks, and his mother wrote him
not to do so, aud that if he did he would fail
Of reelection. To their letter he answered,
in substance, as we are informed: ''The adj
ministration wants my vote for the bill. If
| vote for it, and the people refuse to ~re-elect
me, the administration will take care Of me
| prefer to stand with the administration
1t was not Mr.. Hendricks failure to be a
Know-nothing that defeated him, but his
vote for the repeal of that old compromise
measure, at the dictation of the solid South,
against the protests of his home political
friends, as well as of his own father and
mother. A vice-presidential speech-maker
should tell the truth when speaking Of him
self.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06

Hon. w. Fl. CALKINs, the Republican can
didate for Governor Of Indiana, will address
the citizens Of indianapolis tonight at the
Park Theater. The bare announcement Of
this fact is sufficient to draw an audience
three or four times as large as the theater will
accommodate. Previous to the meeting there
win be a street parade and demonstration of
organized and uniformed clubs Of various
kinds. The line of march is published in our
city columns. If the night shall be propi
tious, the meeting and the street parade will
show that indianapolis is awake and march
ing on" Hon. Stanton J. Peelle, candidate
for Congress from this district, will also be
present at the meeting. Calkins and Peelle:
the Capital City will give them a taste Of
simon-pure Republican enthusiasm.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
WnnLn IT PAYq
THREE GENT

The tariff has paralyzed the industries Of
the Nation, and thousands and tens of thou
sands of ~workingmen are idle because OF it.
If Morrison's bill reducing the tariff had
passed, new markets would have been found
for. American products, and fewer working
men would have been idle to-day.-Louisvile
Courier-JournaL.
Lett be admitted that not only tens Of thou
sands but millions of workingmen are idle be-
cause of the tariff, how is it going to help mat
tors to remove the tariff and open the American
market to English goods, which, made by
cheaper labor, must undersel and run out
goods Of American make9 In tearing down
the fence to get at fictitious new
markets, we simply expose American men
and mills to British competition. The Amer
lean market of 55, 900, 900 would be worth to
the British manufacturer ten times over what
any remote and uncertain market might be to
US. Better leave well enough alone. We are
rapidly approaching the prices that will enable
us to compete with all the world, without
stripping ourselves of our defenses and expos
ing ourselves to a very dangerous rival. The
tariff has 50 encouraged competition among
American manufacturers that prices of
manufactured goods are lower than ever
before. It is but another step in the
regular line of trade to that point where we
shall meet the world on its W footing. But
there is no need Of running risks. We have
trebled our manufactures under protection;
we employ twice as many hands and pay bet
ter wages by 80 per cent; we buy the products
Of the mills at a lower rate than ever. What
more do we wantf Would it be wise to upset
our national poity to enter on a wild-goose
chase for the trade of the tribes of central
AfricaG
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
State Ticket.

GovERNoH4WnLIAM H. CALKINs, Of La Porte
county.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS H. BUNDY, Of
Henry county.
srcnrrARY OF srArr-RoBERT MITCHELL, Of
Gibson county.
AUDITOR OF srArE-BRUcE CARR, of Orange
county.
TREAsURrR OF srATr-RoGER R. sHTELt of
Marion county.
ATToRNEY-GENERAL-WLL1AM G.. WILSON, of
Tippecanoe county.
JUDGE OF THE SUPREME CoURT, FIFTH DISTRICT
EDWIN p. HAMMOND, of Jasper county.
REPORTER SUPREME CoURT-WMLIAM M.
HOGGATT, of Warrick county.
SUPERINTENDENT OF PUBLIC INSTRUCTION
BARNABAS G. HOBBS. of Parke county.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
THR oLEYBLANp SCANDAL.

The indianapolis Sentinel deliberately and
the case when it says that the Journal was
one Of the first papers to publish the truth
concerning Cleveland's lechery. The Sentinel
quotes a reference to it made in the Journal
of July II. On the 23d day of June, or
nearly three weeks previous to that date. the
Rochester Union, then, as now, a reliably
Democratic paper, accused Mr.. Cleveland Of
having had a concubine, and of being the
father of illegitimate progeny. This charge
it repeated and emphasized in the hope that
the party, being enlightened as to his charac-
ter, would not make the mistake of nominal
ing him over worthier men. Despite this
warning, however, the nomination was made.
Soon after the convention, Mr.. William
Purcell, the editor of the Union, and who
was a candidate for presidential elector on the
Democratic ticket, resigned from both, plead
ing that he could not c-onscientiously cast
his vote for a libertine, and he did not want
to stand in the way of the paper supporting
the Democratic nominees if its management
saw fit. AS these charges were made by the
Union two weeks before the Journal made any
reference to them, and as the journal
on several occasions called attention to the
facts as shown above, we can but feel that
the Sentinel has maliciously and purposely
lied in intimating that Republican papers
were the first to publish the scandal. The
Sentinel should turn its attention to the
Rochester Union, Democratic, and to Will
lam Purcell Democrat, to the Buffalo Tele-
graph, independent, and to the preachers Of
Buffalo, regardless of party, before it seeks to
fix the responsibility on the Republican party
or any of its papers. If this is not enough, it
might occupy itself for a time with Mr.. Hem
bricks, Mr.. Cleveland's co-candidate, the New
York Post, now championing the reform"
candidate, Acknowledgements King, Of Governor
Cleyelands staff, the report Of the investigat-
ing committee, none of whom make any pre-
tense of denying that the charge, as originally
made by the Rochester Union, Democratic, is
true. No Republican has had more to do
with the Cleveland nastiness than to repub-
lish matter from Democratic sources. If this
be damaging, the Democratic party has but
itself to blame for making such a disgraceful
nomination.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
To the Editor Of the Indianapolis Journal:

Please name the first newspaper published in
Indianapolis; or name several of the earliest
newspapers, with the time they were started
and the names of the editors and publishers.
DALEvILLE, Ind. A READER.
The indianapolis Gazette was the first paper
published here. and it made its appearance on
Jan. %, 1922. The publishers were George
Smith and Nathaniel Bolton. In the spring of
1880 the Indiana Democrat was started by Alex
ander F. Morrison. The two were consolidated,
and in 184l the name was changed to the Senti-
mel On the 7th Of March, 1923, the first num-
Der ~ the Western Censor and Emigrants'
Guide appeared, by Harvey Gregg and Douglass
Mcguire. The name was soon changed to the
journal, which it has since borne.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
READ the SUNDAY JOURNAL to-morrow-Price
+hrae cants
q LAWS.

The Journal has maintained and still be-
lieves that William G. Rhinelander, on trial
to prove his mental soundnees, is one of the
sanest members of his p~urse-proud, aristo-
cratic family. Realizing the danger he is in
Of being committed as a lunatic because Of
the influence Of his fathers family, who want
to get rid Of his plebeian wife, he makes the
following appeal, which speaks for itself. 1t
is a remarkable document and strongly ex-
poses one of the most dangerous and disgrace
full features of our laws-that a sane man
may so easily be adjudged a lunatic in spite Of
all he can do to disprove it:
ga monstrous outrage is about to be con
summated. a citizen of the United States is
liable to be deprived of his civil rights and
privileges by a commission of three men, in
whose hands his destinies have been placed,
who need not even be unanimous in reporting
his insanity. Is not this a peculiar case in which
the interference of the powers and people may be
expected A man commits an act which
makes necessary an issue between himself and
the people. An opulent family interposes at
the time Of his arraignment aud pleads his in
dictment, and the people are disconnected
with the case. Then the issue is not the
peoples but Rhinelander VS.. Rhinelander.
The indictment for felonious assault is dis
placed and the issue becomes insanity. No
man can be incarcerated for an extended
period of time save by trial by jury. In
famous, indeed, is the statute by which a
citizen of this Republic can lose all his rights
Of citizenship, be confined for an unlimited
period, and legally killed by a commission. /
think I may ask that this great wrong may be
brought through the press, that has always
been conservative of liberty, to the notice Of
the people, that it may be by them righted.
America protects the liberties of her citizens
abroad. Will she not protect their liberties
at homef When a man is about to be cut off
from all social and civil and legal existence.
may he not call upon his fellow-citizens to
take measures to prevent the outragef1
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06

NINETEEN murderers in the Cincinnati jail.
Six have been sentenced to be hanged, begin
ming with Ben johnson, the bunker, who
swings next Friday. Five have been SEN
fenced to the penitentiary, and eight remain
to be tried. If it could be arranged to have
n hanged Nov. q, Cincinnati would enjoy
the sensation Of having an official hanging
every two weeks from now until Christmas.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06

THE Butler campaign badge is a red rose upon
a green leaf. The managers Of the boom are
hereby given permission to issue, in connection
with the badge. the following refrain adapted
from Swinburne-the same to be sung by voters;
If Ben were what the rose is,
And we were like the leaf,
I'VE ais might hang together
Till gray November weather,
And Blaine chills had nipped our Moses.
And inled him full Of grief;
If Ben were that sweet thing the rose Is.
And we voters green, like the leaf.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06

plore mercy for them. Large placards hung
everywhere inscribed: Pardon for Major Fer
randez and Lieutenant valles.r The extraordi-
nary interest their case excited consisted in the
fact that the court-martlal had condemned them
to prison for life in chains. but the government
objected to the sentence as too lenient, sent all
the judges (of6cersl who composed the court to
prison for two months in a fortress for pro-
nouncing such an inadequate ~ sentence, and
had the men executed.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
MR.. MARr1NpALE,s REPLY.
sE. B. MARTNDALE & Sons, }
NSUR )
INDIANAPOLIS, Ind, Sept. 3, 1884.

b. MARTINDALE q SONS
INSURANCE,
INDIANAPOLIS, Ind, Sept. 3, 1884,
Hon. John 9. New, indianapolis, Ind;
tDear Sir-In reply to your favor Of the I'd
inst, I would say that when / sold you the
journal, in May, 1880, the Republican State
central committee owed me i ,910. The ac-
count was for supplements, advertising APP
pointments, and for extra papers purchased
by the committee during the canvass of 1873,
and the canvass on the constitutional amend
ments in the winter of 1879 and 1880. The
prices charged were very low, and the account
was a just one.
when you purchased the Journal you pur-
chased this account, and paid me the full face
value of the same. There never was any
question raised by any member of the COM
mittee as to the correctness of the account,
and had the committee refused topay it to
you it would have been base reputation.
These facts can be established by the sworn
testimony of a dozen witnesses. Yours truly,
"E. B. MARTINDALE."
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06
TWELVE PAGES.
THE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL
REPUBLICAN NOMINATIONS.
National Ticket.

National Ticket.
PRrsrDENT-AMES g. BLAINE, of Maine.
vIcE-PREs1DENT-JoHN A. LOGAN, of Illinois.
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTORS.
State at large-Milo S. Hascall, of Elkhart; John NJ
Butler. of Marion.
First District-James G. Veatch, of Spencer.
Second-William B. Roberts. of Sullivan.
Mird-John g. Berkshire, of Jennings.
Fourth-William D. Ward. of Switzerland.
Fifth-Marshall Hacker. of Bartholomew.
Sixth-Josiah E. Mellette, of Delaware.
-Seventh-Thad. s. Rollins, Of Marion.
Eighth-Elias S. Holiday. of Clay.
Ninth-James NJ Reynolds, of Tippecanoe.
Tenth-Truman F. Palmer. of White.
E-leventh-James F. Elliott, of Howard.
Twelfth-Joseph D.. Terrell, of Lagrange.
Thirteenth-L. w. Royse, of Kosciusko.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06

When / was defeated in my own district,
at Shelbyville, 1t was because L would not be
a Know-nothing.-Gov Hendricks's Corners
vile speech.
Governor Hendricks musthave known when
he uttered the above thatit was untrue. He was
defeated, as he well knows, because Of his vote
for the repeal Of the Missouri compromise.
He knows that when that measure was pend
ing "a Congress 4 caucus Of leading Dem
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1884-09-06

MUNsEY's Illustrated Weekly is handsome,
but it is too evidently a campaign document.
New York Graphic.
It is quite evidently a campaign document,
and good one, too. It makes a very favor
able impression for beginning, though il is
hardly probable that the Harpers will coincide
with this opinion.