Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-10-08
BRIGHT BITS.
Now. while the winds of autumn
Make every leafiet squirm,
The busy little chestnut


Doth catch the early worm.
4 CHILD with no brains has been born in
Nebraska. II he lives he will never be any
use in the world. But stay! He will make a
model juryman.-St. Paul Herald.
..WILL you help me to press some leaves2''
the maiden asked her lover. If you vii
fasten them in your waist belt III see what
can do, he answered, and thus a popular
method Of pressing autumn leaves was in
vented.-S0n1srgile Journal.
eTHIs IS the latest agony in comets, she
remarked to her husband, as she tried its
effect N the mirror. us 1t paid fors' be
asked. No; / had II charged" w ell, It
isn't the latest agony in bOnnets, tnen,' he
said, with 2 grOan.-Ee1c York Sun.
MIsTAKING the meaning: Elderly gentle
man: ALLOW me, ladies; this loud talking
during the performance Is past all bearing.
Fraulein: That's just what | think; you
have actually to scream at the top of your
voice to make people hear what you are say
ing."-FliegeHde BIadder.
aARE you a TheosOphists" inquired a ST.
Louis lady of a brilliant BOstonienne, who
was visiting her. a WHAT CALCULATED the
young lady from the Hub. "Why, a theosO-
phist." "Oh, dear. no; we have no such thing
in Boston. The sullivan fist, you know, i
the only popular one IN Boston nOW."-S.
Louis Critic.
WHEN a Cape Cod landlord told a Boston
man that the people Of Boston didn't know
what blue fish was. and was met By the
answer: 20. yes, we do; II IL the temnodon
saltator. an acanthOptergian Of the family OF
scombrida, . he just went and laid down on
the barr00m sofa and dreamed Of death and
desOlation.-R0chester Herdtd.
..WHAT did you get out Of that case:" asked
an old LAWYER. 81 got my client out OF II, -
replied the young one. And what did he get
out of it, Satisfaction, reckon. didn't
leave anything else for him 10 get" Young
mas said the senior, proudly, you'll never
be a judge. There is not enough money on the
bench for yOu.''-BuyIiHgtOn HdlCkeye.
Mas. SMITH was calling on Mrs. Brown
when a sudden storm came up. Il declare
said Mrs. Smith, Its too provoking. l
haven't any Tubbers with me, and my shoes
are very thin" 81 can lend you thick pair
OF my own. if you think you can wear them"
suggested Mrs. Brown. ION, thanks; you're
very kind. l believe l will ayall myself OF
your offer. / don't think they viii be much
too large. "-ChristidH az Work.
'sWHAT seems to be the matter with You to-
night" demanded the editor OF Western
paper Of the funny man. I'm IN bad
hqmor, = that young man replied, shortly y.
y ess Well, that ought not 70 worry YOU
what ought not to worry me- The TACT
that you are in q bad humOr. a man who
has made specially Of bad humor as long
and successfully as you have, ought not 10
give wav 10 it, And the editor clipped
tariff editorial from an Eastern exchange,
and proceeded 70 rewrite it.-Drdke's IrdCet-
er's AGgGslHs.
Anxious MoTHER-"W What IS the matter
with the baby. doctor? Has he a ft:'' Doc
tor-''Oh. not 80 bad Is that. He has been
badly frightened, but will bring him around
all right in a little while" frightened!
Why, | don't see what at" Have no
strangers been here." "Only one bald-headed
old gentleman who was electoneering."
who was hef" Il don't know. He said
that when he was elected wages would 90
up to $50 day, and silks and satlns could be
bought for three cents a yard. Won't that be
nicer 'sI'll make my husband vote for him."
Ibid he kiss the babyg" Yes" ''Ah, see.
Ii was Ben Butler philadelphia CAL.
4 FEEBLE old darkey struggled painfully in.
Boss" he said, Use an ole, ole man. was
BON in old Vahginny an libbed dar mos on
to ninety weight year, an want 20 ter assis'
me er little dis mawnin', boss, eff 20 pleas,
sahi'' You knew George Washington. Of
cOurse:" mo, sab, l nebber seed him.
"What. You lived in Virginia nlnety-elght
years and never saw George Washington"
''Dat am er fac, boss. Ise an homes ole man,
an am tsO far gone in dis wOrP fer to tell
lie. 1 nebber seed young George, but Lor',
sab. his pO' ole gran'fadder a. gran mudder
yuse ter think er pOw'ful sight oh me, boss"
-NezC York Sun.