The Middlebury register and Addison County journal. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1883-1885, 1884-02-29
The Bad Boy on Rheumatism.

There, now, what is your lip hang
ing down that way for2" said the gro
Gerry man to the bad boy as he came in
with an expression on his face of sorrow
such as the grocery man had not seen be
fore. "Brace up, now, and have some
style about you. What's the matter"
Nothing the matter with me-" said
the boy, as he looked around the grocery
to see if he couldn't find something that
would taste good to a sick boy. 81 am
all hunky, but my chum has got the
rheumatic"
"Well, that don't hurt you, does it2"
said the grocery man, with one of his
heartless expressions. "You don't want
to grunt until you are hurt yourself
There is time enough for you to be limp
ing around when you get sick yourself
| don't believe in worrying when any
body else is sick"
"Wcll, you heartless old man, you.
You never had chum, did you? If you
ever had chum that you loved, that
had stood by you in all kinds of weather,
who would work his finger nails off for
you, and go without eating and sleeping
to make you happy, you could never talk
that way. Never had the rheumatic, did
your
"No, never had it." said the grocery
man. 81 had brother-in-law who had
it once, but he cured himself eating
snow"
ooh, get out" said the boy. "Since
my chum has had rheumatic, every old
crank has told me new cure for it, and
think / will try some new remedy on
him, but when | 90 to his room, and see
the good doctor who has been brought
up amongst rheumatic, and tell him of
the new remedy have heard of. and he
tells me it is all nonsense, that set
ties it. The idea of curing rheuma-
tiz by eating snowl Say, isn't it queer
about catching rheumatic. 1t is like a
lottery. Forty fellows may have the same
chance to draw rheumatic prize, and
only one gets it sawed off onto him.
Now me and my chum were both in the
same draft of air, and both had right
to catch the rheumatic. All l got was
wind on my stomach, and | slode down
hill head first, on my sled, and the
rheumatic has all bowed away from
me. My chum went riding in coupay,
and he got it. Sliding down hill knocks
rheumatic better than eating snow. Say,
| would like to run this world for about
month. BY gosh, l would arrange it
so nobody but the mean people would be
sick. 1t seems too bad to have these
painful diseases strike the best people
in the world, don't it2 If | had
the running of things, rheumatic
should never attack such good
fellow as my chum. | would have it
lay for thieves and nd-paggers, and
murderers, and highway robbers, and
old sharks that never do any good nohow,
and keep its claws off of folks that never
did any harm and had kind word for
everybody. But these diseases seem to
have their traps set for the best people,
and the thieves and burglars are the
healthiest of the lot. If things were run
right rheumatic ought to be a detective
that would catch a horse thief Just as he
was stealing the horse, and make him
drop the halter and send for a DOCTOR If
| was bossing rheumatic would have it
act as reformatory agent instead of 60
ing around careless and picking on to
thoroughbreds. l would have it watch a
mean man when he was going to do
something mean and take hold of him
and give his muscles twist, and then
let up and if ne kept on, take him by the
neck and double him up and make him
yell. But must go and do my chum's
chores for his ma, and then go and S :;
up with him. What you got in this
ranch that would taste good to Teller
tnat hadn't got no appetizer"
"Oh. l don't know" said the grocery
man, ''unless you try some of those dried
apples, dried by steam"
That is specimen of the way you
would treat chum if you had one who
was sick. You make me tired. Haven't
you got any Malaga grapes or Florida
oranges3 Nothing but dried apples and
prunes. BAH" and the boy went off to
stay by his chum. Sun.