The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-01-01
Ghe q.tteltise,tfer.
Otllcu Nos. ~ nnd " Fomrttcntn street
BILLY BASHEUL.
The Thrilling Adventures ut n Tluitd
YOun. man On New Years.
W TIE HERO HIMSELF,

|
~ ..N..
W TIE HERO HIMSELF. .I
For ls intsliysnctt. .,
Bashful! Well should say was; tim.
orous to painful degree. j was 80 from
the cradle up-how far up It Ia rot neces.
sary to divulge, for 1t Is not material
thread in the story ! am about 10 relate,
My mother Gays flushed when l was
born. OF this caunot speak with any
certainty, but Of other events in my life
alter the bib and gown gave way to the
roundabout and pants-I have distinct but
not pleasant recollections. Instead OF soft
ening with advancing years bashiulness
grew upon me. A strange glrlish lace
would put me TO flight quicker than the
menaciDg rod OF my angry father. 1t was
sore trial 10 me. IT'S true | had nd.
yanced somewhat-irom thumbsuckiny
baby 10 fnger.CheWiug young man-but
do what would could not ehake of the
"Old Man Of the Sea-" for bashfulness
chung 10 me like lichen 10 rock, and my
progress in society was confined 10 Il
change OF diet from thumb to finger; sort
ofa hand. painted wall flower, 10 to speak
Among the "familiars" OF my own sex
/ was not timid; quite the opposite, never.
theless did chance TO be alone and hear
the rustlirg OF silks and satins l would be
startled as though | was living in some
medieval castle and caught the Changing
sound OF somc ghost in armor.
Well DO | remember-not in "bleak De.
cember," but one sunny day in June, when
1 was cruelty dragged away from the com.
panionship Of my chums to visit country
relations. Whit torture l underwent |
cannot describe. AS write now, long
years after the episode, l actually shudder.
As neared the cosy farm house my quick
eye caught the ilutter OF dress on porch.
My mind was in painful state, and I
would have beaten basty retreat, but the
hand Of my mother frightened its grip and
| was ruthlessly dragged TO my doom.
The porched was reached. What did this
little buxom country cousin OF mine do :?
She swooped down on me like an eagle
upon its prey, and before l could draw
breath had planted luscious kiss on my
innocent lips. II use the word luscious ad-
visedly-I am older now Did return
the cordial salute with an atiectionate,
cousinly hug? I have no remembrance OF
what transpired, but when 'awoke to con.
seriousness kind and considerable friends
asked me how l felt, and told me l must
be very quiet for time as l had had
spasm after spasnl. Ii were writing ic.
ton might BIO accused OF exagseration,
but this being leaf from the life Of bash
full man am compelled 10 relate events
just as they occurred.
As the years rolled by unattended by
any improvement, determined to make q
bold break for liberty and cast of the
chains Of timidity. New Years was an au.
spicious time, my friend Jim" told me.
could go calling with him il 1 desired to.
After revolving the matter over in my
mind ! concluded that would try it. The
week before l purchased book Oh eli.
quette and hired dummy" from dry
goods store. The dummy" l rugged out
in an old calico wrapper Of my sisters,
and it was not altogether an indifferent
representation Of the female sex. I had
prepared and committed neat speech,
made up Of light lattery and the congrat-
ulations OF the season. III q short time |
became quite proficient, and although the
"lady" addressed night after night was
as dumb us an oyeter, and sightless, I was
much pleased with my eminent success,
and dreamed that from tyro in society
affairs | WAS suddenly raised to the most
self-pessessed young man that ever trod
the carpeted parlors OF fashion. Ny friend
Jim" witnessed one Of my reheareals and
was delighted. He enid there was abso-
lutely nothing wanting; that he wss sctu-
ally jealous Of me; that he knew | would
make an indelible impression on the young
ladies, and that l would eventually turn
out to bearegularpounder-n a.a-mashel;
but whatever a masher is I don't know.
My rehea,sals passed off smoothly
enough, but the night before New Years
as was bowling myself from the presence
Of mi LADY, could MT help but feel
some miegivings OF the result on the NOR.
row. Iallowed myself 10 brood over the
matter until was on the point OF giving
up. However, | consoed myself by re-
fleeing that the greatest actors sometimes
forget their lines, and that the great orator
Cicero once stood dumb and speechless
when the occasion demanded the exercise
Of the greatest powers Of his eloquent
tongue; and determined to brave all dam
gers and run all risks oil failure. sy3s,
The night passed, dawned, and was
ready Tor "Jis" when he called for me in
a hack. Yes, We had hack; We wanted
to do everything up in style, you know.
How my heart beat when we stopped at
the Grst house. l had my speech down
pain the hack-and at last stood trem.
bling on the Threshold. "Jim" was cruel.
He didn't tell me that the first plunge ! was
to make would be in the presence OF FIVE
beautiful young ladies, and when I was
ushered into their presence it was like tsG.
ing cold shower bath. Where was that
speech Of mine-:he rounded periods Of
dAttery and the eloquent sentences OF sea-
sonable congratulations? Ask-no, it
would be useless; no one could tell you. |
took my turn ard passed the line under q
fierce ire OF bewi,ching smiles and soft
Iglances. And, what did l say? Oh, hor-
ror! | loat my heqd, and sitter the first
young lady had wished mo happy New
Year, / replied, esame 10 your" and all
along the fine, no matter how vas i'd
dressed, that idiotic refrain was The only
response was able to give, resembling
somewhat the mournlul croskirg OF that
lillomened bird, "nevermore, nevermsre."
How ] got out Of that house l don't
know, but before had time to realizs what
had happened we were at the door Of an.
other agony.
"Jim," said I cautiously, aud, perhaps,
the loast bid sadly, show many girls here ~
"Only three" and he added, a little
maliciously Thought, "but they are daises,
make YOU feel as ii you were in your own
house." -
With an inward prayer that this might
prove true l tried 10 Waken up to the sur.