The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1884-12-06
SPHERICAL SOAP.
Mr.. Thimblejig's Unpleasant Experiences
With a Cake of that Variety.


Old Mr.. Wagstaff Thimblejig says the
toilet soap that comes in balls instead
of in cakes is an abomination and an
evil that should be suppressed by law.
One day last week Mr.. Thimblejig was
standing in the bathroom by the open
window washing his hands with one Of
these spherical specimens of transpar-
ent soap.
He couldn't get any lather out of it to
save his life by rubbing it on his hands;
he was either obliged to get lather by
first rubbing it on his hair, or by hold
ing it pretty tightly in one hand and
turning it swiftly around with the other,
as pitcher manipulates baseball DO
fore delivery to get the proper twist
on it.
As he was turning it around for about
the fiftieth time, it slipped swiftly from
his hand, flew up to the ceiling, and
came back, taking Mr.. Thimblejig on
the nose, and then scudding out through
the window.
Before it could touch the ground it
came in contact with the dog that was
asleep in the path, and drew yelp out
was out of sight. From the dogs head
it flew against a clothes-pole, and thence
up in the air, taking the silk hat off a
painter. Then down it came crashing
toward young Thimblejig, who couldn't
understand what it meant. He had a
baseball bat in his hand, and with that
he let the soap-ball have it as hard as he
could. He sent the ball flying on line
toward the kitchen door. Before it got
there. however, Mr.. Wagstaff Thimble-
jig came bounding through the aperture
to get the soap. He got it, too-got it
right between the eyes. The meeting
was very affecting. As soon as Mr..
Thimblejig could regain his feet, he
started upstairs to wash the blood and
dust off his face. That soap never got
him in such a lather before.
By this time the dog was mile of,
increasing his speed. And the further
he got from the house, the more dis
tinctly you could hear him. If he could
sign his name to all he was barking, it
would not be very complimentary adj
vertisement for that soap.
Meantime that soap, after rebounding
from Mr.. Thimblejig's nose, had taken
the liberty of lamming the milkman's
horse on the head, and the poor animal
ran away, and upset the cans as he
went along, thus watering, or milking,
the hot, dusty road.
The soap was almost master of the
situation. The cook had fled to the
cellar. Young Thimblejig came out
attired in baseball catcher's mask,
a fencing jacket and a tennis-racket.
But before he could get on his guard, or
rather before he could locate the soap,
it came suddenly around the corner of
the house. took him on the back of the
head, and erased him like shot.
As it sped on its course, nice inno-
cent dog next door saw it coming. He
was sort of trick dog, and he thought
he would catch it, being under the i'm
preston that it was hurled for him to
fetch. But, instead, it fetched-fetched
him right in the mouth, and few hours
later when he was down at the village
being measured for set of false
teeth, he concluded that the next time
he ran to get a ball he would run after
it, and pick it up after it stopped But
right off the dogs jaw it bounced straight
back toward the window, where Mr..
Thimblejig was washing the gore off his
face, and flying through the aperture,
landed square in his hands, and he went
on washing his hands with it as though
nothing had happened.
After he was through, however, he Sc
cured every spherical cake of soap in the
house, and fiattened them out with a
hammer to make them harmless. And
he VOWS that if his wife brings any more
of them in the house, he will try to Sc
cure an absolute divorce from herr.
X. Ma1nkittricb, in Puck.