The Greenville times., 1884-11-15
Serial SAlrt Frsnts.
A Aaasiug IrYsisiss Laisly PIis-isi ~
. PsrnylFGaiEa.

II any YOody thiuAr that the "a
ventive genius Of the American
people is on the wane he's hope
lessly left, that's all remarked
one Of the leading patent lswyerl
OF Philadelphia yesterday after
noon as be sat with bis feet on th'
Office table and smoked 3 paieni
Connecticut cigar, warranted TO de
eeive the most expert judge o
Havana tobacco. James h
continued, addressing the Office
boy. ~bring me that package thai
came from Washington yester
day.
The lad produced a large paper
parcel, ftOm which the lawyer
took what Was TO all appearances
an ordinary eOlored shirt, being
apparently OF white linen, will
a small design IN the form OF .
horseshoe aud jockey cap stamped
ali over the bosom and cuffs.
/ have just taken out 4 patent
Oh this for q man In Lsekavanns
county. who calls il the Excelsior
PatentPaper Shirt and Novelette,
Here the speaker inserted his
thumb nail at the bottom Of the
shirt bosom aud proceeded TO
tear OF layer Of paper OF which
the shirt was made. He then tore
OF another layer, aud then snoiA-
er and another, until SIX separate
sheets in the shape Of the eosoz
lay on the table. aud he stu he'd
what looked ike the oTiCa1l sAiTs
in his hand. ~NOa see It's a rS1l 7
remarkable idea Here : tbs
shirt, made Of very tozsA PaPsE.
that won't tear siihoai . soc1
deal Of pressure, aud the bSs0m
is made up of seven ayers one
for each day in the week, il 4 n4a
chooses to be lavish with his linen.
or, IL he likes to be an ou;-snd out
swell, he can change half q dozen
times a day. Now, on this sample,
all the fronts are the same, but
they will be made in all sorts Of
styles, 30 that a fellow can wear
this horseshoe figure if he wants
to 90 to Coney Island to the
races, or q crossed base ball bat
design II he is going ont to see the
Philadelphia play tho Athletic, or
n neat little design in dots or bars,
or something Of that sort, IL he is
going OF with his girl to Atlantic
City or the matinee. That'll be
all fxed by giyinga card with each
shirt telling the pattern on each Of
the seven fronts, which will be
numbered from one TO seven.
Enough collars and cuffs will go
with each shirt for the seven
fronts, and the whole outfit will be
sold for the small sum of fifty
cts. for the assorted patterns aud
thirty.nve cents for the oil white.
Why, it's the biggest thing that
has been struck since the teIe.
phone was patented
"But what about the novelette,
part OF the schemeI'
"Ah, | had forgotten to show
you; see ihis,' and tho lawyer
handed over one of the torn of
shirt fronts on the back of which
WAS printed In fine type, one chap.
ter OF a story entitled, "The Phan.
tom Jockey, q Romance Of Sleeps.
head Bay ''There you are chap.
ter ] of a sporting novelette,, and
it's continued and flushed on the
other elk fronts. OF course, some.
times you will run across the same
yarn twice on two shirts, but some
thousands OF different stories will
be printed, aud the lots made up
so as to give each city and town
as few duplicates as possible.
Anyhow, the card will tell you
what story is on the shirt, and you
cansbe careful not TO buy the same
one twice. Some men will get 80
interested IN the story when they
rip OF Mondays front that they
will tear the whole week of. so as
to learn the hero's fate, but that
will be all the better, and is in.
deed, part of the scheme in print.
ing them at all. oh, l tell you this
invention is going TO be great 90.
and, aside from its other virtues.
will do more toward driving the
Ohineae laundrymen back to their
native land than all the political
howls that ever we're heard.r
- @-e-
A reporter was sent to interview
a Western statesman on a political
question. The result was a cohe.
rent and reasonable quarter Of a
column. The next mail brought an
Indignant complaint that the man
had not fully or accurately report
cd. add to what you wrote al
that you didn't write,n said tn,
editor severely. The reporter sa
down and made this addendum
Having thus expressed himself
Mr. --mistook the nearl
emptied bottle of claret (which ba