St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-05-17
Hsw Parrots are Tauxht to Tain.

NJ. Antole Dulac, of Paris, advertises
himself as the professor Of new art
that of teaching parrots. As rule, it
is the safest course to educate ones own
parrot. Ready-made elocutionists are
not always reliable. The lady president
of suburban Dorcas society who BUYS
. pretty poll from poor seafaring man
is liable to be shocked some time or
another by the racy language of the
forecastle. and the parrot that has had
its schooling on board Thames barge
is apt to have an inconvenient memory
for phrases which had much better have
been forgotten. The Partisan professor
would, of course. instruct his class of
birds in none save the most genteel Of
phrases. But parrots, no doubt, talk at
random, and say more than they have
been taught-and nine times out of ten
the most irrelevant context every now
and again hitting off q remark which
comes in so exquisitely pat for the oc-
casion that every one is astonished. The
fact is, our world is very small, and,
like the FOOLS 20 Lord, sir!' it will be
found that q man might really get
through life with very few sentences
indeed. and yet be considered of an av-
erage intellect. A parrot has only to
90 on saving a silly thing upon every
opportunity that offers, and the right
chance is certain to come round at last,
when IT'S silly speech at once becomes
the happiest possible. For instance,
there was bird that said nothing but
"Here's pretty CO." and this was,a y
rule, neither opposite nor funny. But one
day the poor thing fell out Of a cab win
dow. and the wheel of another cab pass
ing at the time crushed its cage. A spec
tator picked up the parrot, very much
alarmed, but not hurt, and, hearing it
murmur something, put the bird to his
ear, when to his establishment the thing
in detected voice, whispered: Here's
q pretty go"' Nothing could have been
more exactly in sympathy with the
situation or more innocent. But this is
not always the case. The respectable
maiden lady who purchases the sailors
parrot is liable. on the slightest provo
cation, or none at all, to find herself
addressed, even in the presence of the
clergy. in the gruffest and strongest
language OF boatswain. Parrots have
no respect for select company. They
scatter their nautical terms broadcast
upon the just and upon the unjust. upon
the butchers boy when he calls for
orders and the new curate when he
drops in for afternoon tea. Like the
Afghans. if they have charge in their
guns they must fire it Off 1t does not
matter what they fire at in the least; if
there is nothing better they will blaze
away at blank wall. They shoot their
arrows. rs the prince does in the fairy
tale, at random, and by and by when
he comes to pick them up he finds one
has pierced the heart Of his venerable
grandmother. So with the parrot. 1t
lets fly its familiar quotations" at
every mark or at none, and the time
comes some day or other when it infiicts
a mortal wound upon the susceptibilities
that are slow to recover from such
shocks. So, As rule. it is the wisest
plan to educate ones own parrot.
This is not. of course, very easy to do,
for young parrots of 4 suitable educa-
tional age are not abundant in the
British isles. Yet when juvenile the
bird is very impressionable. Adult, it
is liable to be obstinate, and, like the
proud BritOn who refused to truckle to
the German system of genders. it often.
times learns q new language very inn |,
perfectly. Tho old birds. indeed, show
antipathies to syntax, |
and get whims into their heads about |
the construction Of sentences which the |
utmost patience or violence. as the case |
may be. is powerless to dissipate. You
cannot disabuse an old parrots mind |
of an error that it once has cordially |
1t has its own ideas OF |
proprieties and clings to
them like a limpet. Yon can not shake
it on matter Of English. You may
teach it another phase altogether. but
it Will not forego the first. 1t will tag
the two together and mix them up-like
the Protestant kettle" of the immortal
Faven-but this compro-
mise is the best terms you will make
with the bird. When possible. there
lore, secure young parrot, catch it at
! good school-board age, and then
each it yourself While doing so keep
t away from the communicating in
iuences of street boys. for bakers
BOY will teach it to ask: ..Who kissed
he cOok?" in half dozen easy lessons,
while you are wearing your days out in
"God Save the Queen upon
IS memory. and after all, the odds are
he bird will say: God save the cook"
street cries. again, are to be avoided if
possible. 1t is not well to have a bird
:alling ''cats' meat" during family
prayers. But above all, the educator
4 the youthful fowl should herself
'e circumspect in her language
md careful Of the pitch of the voice,
or it will catch her scolding tones at
nee and pick up Bother that cat!'-
a her exact voice, too-long before it
rill learn to say. sDear little puss."
hose who have q harsh laugh. or
uffer from catarrh, or an impediment,
r any defect Of speech, should choose
Their pets than parrots-guinea pigs or
quirrels, or some other harmless
dumb animals-for these birds have
perfect malicious aptitude for hitting
# such weak points. If old Mr.. We'll
r had kept a good parrot at the Mar
mis- Of CRANKY the position of Stiggins
7ould have been impossible; the mimic
'ould have utterly routed the snuffling
ascal. So that the difficulties in the
'ay Of bringing up ones own bird are