Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-07-30
BRIGHT BITS.

WHAT'S this thing?" asked man who was
inspecting a music store. THAT? on, that, E
used on violins. We call it a chin rest"
"Gimme onew exclaimed the visitor. "SpOse
it would work on my wife?'-BErlington Free
Press.
A JUVENILE INQUIRER was looking at some
OF those pictures If angels in which only heads
and wings are visible, and after a few min
utes' reflection. he gave voice to his thoughts
as follows: "Well, mamma, how DO they SIT
DOWN."
WHAT do you think of my moustache"
asked young man of his girl. ION, IL re-
minds me of Western frontier city" was
the answer. "In what respect, prayt" BE
cause the survey is large enough, but the set
tiers are struggling. "-Ndrath0n Indepea-
dent.
TRUE MoDEsTY.-Mr. Spinks: 81 had such
a beautiful. dream last night, Miss Briggs! l
thought was in the garden of Eden" Miss
Briggs with simplicity: "And did Eve al-
pc; r as she is generally represented, MT:
Spinks?" Mr.. Spinks: "I-I-I-I didn't
lOok?"-LOndoR Punch.
AN EXCHANGE tells of a girl who had just
returned from college. She was witnessing a
fire engine work. After watching it for some
time in mute establishment, she said: who
would evan have dweamed such a vewy di-
minutive- looking apawatus would hold so
much wattah p'-OH CitV BItssdrd.
THE unpleasant odor left in the breath
after eating onions is said to be entirely re-
moved by cup of strong coffee. "I've been
eating onions, dear" is now the latest excuse
when man comes toddling home to his wife
with his breath broken in two at the middle
by a mouthful of the fragrant berfy.-LOa0eH
Citizen.
s'MA, did the wicked children say, go up,
old bald head,' to good Elijah?" "Yes, dear"
"And did the bears come and eat them?' at
is told So my son. "And would they come
and eat me if / said. go up,Old bald head to
pag" possibly" 'Would they your" prob
ably" "Fhen, you say it to him and | will
give you cents to see the bears"
GRIEF IN BRIEF
Boy,
Gun,
JOY,
Fun,
Gun
Bust,
Boy
Dust.-.St. Louis Call.
s.NIY SON." said an economical father, San
express train attains great speed Lightning
is prOyerbial for its rapIdity, comets are sup
posed to hurl themselves through space at the
rate of millions of miles day, but, COM
paratively speaking, all these things are snails,
my boy, all snails." "Why, father" replied
the young man, lazily. pulling 25-cent cigar,
''what c possibly so faster than lightningF
"A IS bill, after it is once broken, my SON.
Nel0 York Sun.
THEY are Jokes and jokes, George Eliot
says: "a difference in taste in jokes is very
trying to the affections" which wise express
sion is put to the test more frequently than
YOU would think, if you didn't take the
trouble to think about it at all. How often
has friend told you something that he con-
sidered good joke when the recital has be-
traved a lack of sense, taste or heart which
you did not suspect before. and which low
cred him very much in your esteem.-Oi nciR-
natl Saturday Night.
THE moon is waning" Elfrida said, sitting
a little closer to Ethelred to keep of the ma
lara. YES" said old Sir MaTmalade, her
sire, who crossed the piazza at that moment,
''and the swain is incoming. Haw, haw,
haw!' And he was gone. Ethelred shud-
dered and drew Elfrida to his side until she
had to breathe in her mind. "Thank heaven"
he said earnestly, "that the moon is not wax
ingl / tremble to think what joke it might
have suggested to him. '-Br00kIyB Eagle.
MRS. BLANK-"I want some money for
Chinese lanterns, ice cream, lemonade. cake and
other refreshments" ''Mr. Blank-"Great Ce-
sar! Do you think Pm a Vanderbilt What do
you want all that for?" II am going to give
lawn party" "a lawn party! why, we
haven't any lawn" 1--WE have little back
yard" 'FBut 1t is paved with brick, except
where you have beds of flowers and shrub
berry," ''Well, the place where you spend your
evenings drinking beer and listening to a
cracked violin and ramshackle piano is paved
with brick, too, and hasn't flower or twig
in it, and yet you call it a garden Guess our
back yard viii do for a lawn" MIR. Blank
shelled out.-PhiEddeLphid cal.