Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-08-02
JENNY JUNE.

boats are gally decorated and il is charming
sight. The muscle of the young girls is said to
he quite equal to that Of the young men, after a
few weeks vi the air and exercise.
JENNY JUNE.
Saturday Smiles.
II you would be wealthy. get upon mule;
you will soon find you are better off
The lights of other DAYS were not so good as
lights of the present: but the livers were bet
ter.-Ne1c Orleans Picdyune.
Don't buy acoach in order to please your
wife. advises an exchange; lit is much cheaper
to make her little sulky." 1t is still more
economical to marry a woman who possesses a
graceful carriage Herald
Say no man is good until he has run for the
presidency.
You ought to put sign over that hatch
way. said policeman to a storekeeper, ''or
some one will tumble into it," .All right re-
piled the merchant; and he tied one of his Fall
Opening placards to the railing.
An sent-minded St Louis person asked a
discOnsoate wdower whose wife had been
buried the week before: well Mr.. Brown. how
does your wife stand the heat?' They do not
speak EOw.
'Soled again." exclaimed the young man, as
he went flying down the front steps for the
third time inside of week propelled by the
vigorous foot of his charmers papa.-Burling-
ton Free Press.
Dear mel said a lady on Fifth avenue the
other evening chow the china craze is grow
ing. Here's New York club that is paying
1000 for pitcher"
Its remarkable case" said a doctor to a
brother physician. tie latter just entering the
profession. MY experience. of course. is not
large, returned the young man, modestly, but
quite agree with you doctor: it certainly is a
remarkable case, and of great interest to the
profession. DO you think we shall be able to
save the PATIENT" Save the PATIENT" ex-
claimed the first speaker; mo, we won't be able
to save the patient but We will have a post
mortem examination, and that is of much more
importance"
where are your kids?" society man asked.
looking at the bare hands Of poor but deserv-
Ing editor at Vanderbilts party. "At home in
bed was the indignant reply. do you sup
pose I'd bring my children to party like ths:"
Smith met Jones on the deck of an ocean
steamer one calm morning after several days of
very rough weather. "Why declare, Jones' y
said Smith, you look years older than when
''Tve had several birthdays lately"
How does Pat propose to get over single bless
edness! Why he proposes to Bridget, of
cCurse.-The Judqe.
The seersucker craze will be Of few days. but
the beersuckers. like Tennyson's brook, will go
on Observation-Disclosures Herald
In the vest pocket of a man in Massachusetts
who had committed suicide was found note
bearing these words: "The world Is wrong
cannot reform it. am unhappy. ! am an in
dependent. l think it is unnecessary to say
more"
Motto for cyclists adapted. by kind permits
sion, from the popular cry of tradesmen in cheap
neighborhoods) .-"Tri before you bi."-Funny
Folks.
Fair Patient-"Have you any idea what is the
matter with me. dOctOr?" DoctOr-"Why can
diagnose your case, Miss. with my eyes shut
There is nothing the matter with you except
hot Ca:. nok
have just come back from a whole month at
the most popular health resorts" Doctor
Yes, as said you need rest. Philadelphia
CaH
IL am not dead. am not dead" sings maya
zine poet. We don't blame the poet: we only
blame the editor for not Juggling him up couple
OF stories higher before he flung him out.-Bur-
tingtOn Free Press.
: Love is blind" Maybe that's how the gas is
so often turned down in the parlor when love
takes possession. Because why: Love being
bind there is 10 Use in wasting gas to make
light for it.
Bigsby was telling Blobson about a friend
who was injured in a railroad accident. He
ought to have got heavy damages from the
road, said Blobson. ''lIe did" replied Bigsby;
"he got both legs and one arm broken"
"No." said the druggist. ''thcre is not such
an awful profit on glass of soda. You see,
the wear and tear on the glass amounts to
something.
little girl ioyfully assured her mother the
other day that she had found out where they
made horses; she had seen man finishing one
HE was mailing Oh his last foot"
"Mr. JONES'" said little Johnny to that gen
tleman who was making an afternoon call can
whisky TALK" NO, my child: how can you ask
such question: ..Oh. nothing, only ma said
whisky was beginning to tell on YOU"
Incidents ut IA Fire in Constantinople.
From the St Nicholas
We saw young woman brought out of a
burning house with copper kettle in her hand.
She was screaming wildly, "My baby! Oh, my
baby" The woman had been engaged in the
kitchen, with her infant in her arms and had
been busily occupied saving her cooking utensils
by throwing them into the cistern, quite uncon-
scious that her dwelling was already on fire. The
hremen, having discovered her in that perilOus
place, had rushed into the kitchen and forced
her to hasten out. On her way she had espied
copper Kettle. and lad instnctively seized it,
but In her fright and bewiderment she had
thrown her baby into the cstern instead of the
kettle. Fortunately, a sturdy fellow succeeded
in rescuing the baby and restoring it to the dis
tracted mother.
The other incident was even more dreadful.
AS we stood looking at the fire, we beheld a man
struggling. and the next moment saw him thrown
deliberately into the flames. George and ex-
changed looks of horror, but the by-standers
seemed to pay little heed to the occurrence.
merely remarking that the man was an incendi-
airy who had been caught in the act of spreading
the lire for the purpose of robbery.
BOytOn's Tests at Niagara Rapids.
Mr.. Freeman. speaking of Capt. Paul Boyton's
experiments where Capt Webb afterward lost
his life, says: ''In the first place, he procured
large number OF railroad ties of hard wood. each
about the weight Of the captain with his dress
on. These We're started through the rapids. and
about One-thrd of them were found. Those
that were found were bruised and crushed as
though they had been ground through some
powerful machinery. and those we did not find
were presumably wedged in between the rocks.
Then one OF the captains dresses was inflated
and weighted just as If the captain was in it
himself. and sent through. We caught it near
the mouth Of tho river, and it was scarcely re-
cognZable. 1t was torn by rocks and cracked
In pieces simply by the pressure of the immense
volume OF water, proving COnclusively to our
minds that il il had been fortunate enough to
escape tine rocks the great pressure of water
was sufficient to kill anything that would at
tempt to 20 through. 1t is true that the Maid
of the Mist went through all right; but it was a
miracle, and such thing would not happen
once in million times. We told Door Webb the
result Of our experiments, but he was head
strong and had his theory and he was bound to
test it or perish, and his tate awaits any others
who are foolish enough to attempt it,