The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-03-27

presume that shall not Do accused
of sacrilege in referring to the Chinese
god as an inferior work of art. Viewed
simply from an artistic and economical
standpoint it seems to me that the Chi
naman should have less pride in his
bow-legged and inefficient god than in
any other national institution.
g do not wish to be understood as in-
terfering with any mans religious
views; but when polygamy is made
divine decree, or Il bass-wood deity is
whitfield out and painted red. to look
up to and to worship. | cannot treat
that so-called religious belief with
courtesy and reverence. l am quite
liberal in all religious matters. People
have noticed that and remarked it, but
the Oriental god of commerce seems to
me to be greatly oyerrated. He seems
to lack that genuine decision of char
acter which should be a feature of an
over-ruling power.
ask the phrenologist to come with
me and examine the head of the alleg-
ed Josh, and to state whether or not he
believes that the properly balanced
head of a successful god should not
have more protuberant knob of spir-
ituality, and less pronounced aliment-
iveness. Should the bump of combat
iveness hang out over the ear, while
time, tune and calculation are notice.
ably reticentP I certainly do not
Again. how can the physiognomy of
the Celestial Josh bs consistent with d
moral and temperate god? The low
brow would not indicate pronounced
omniscience, and the Jumbo oars ami
q hn ,ua.,ll
with the idea of purity and spirituality.
1t is, no doubt, wrong to attack sa-
cred matters for the purpose of gain
ing notoricty; but believe | am right
when / assert that the Chinese god
must go. We should not be Puritan
ical, but we might safely draw the line
at the bow-legged and sedentary god
dess of leprosy.
Ii Confucius bowed the suppliant
knee TO the goggic-eyod. jlm-jam Josh,
/ am grieved TO know it. Ii such was
the case, the friends of Confucius should
keep the matter from me. l cannot be-
lieve that the great philosopher wallow-
ed in the dust ut the feet of such q
polka-dot caricature of gorilla's hor-
rid dream.
bought Chinese god once for four
bits. He was not successful in the pro-
fession which he claimed TO follow.
Whatever he may have been in China,
he was not a very successful god in the
English language. 1 put him upon the
mantel and the clock stopped, the SER
vant-girl sent in her resignation, and
large dog jumped through the parlor
window. All this happened within two
hours from the time erected the lop-
cared, knock-kneed, and club-footed
Oo!ong in my household.
Perhaps this may have been largely
due to my ignorance of his habits.
Possibly if had been more familiar
with his eccentricities it would have
been all right; but as it was, there was
no book of instruction given with him,
and couldn't seem to make him work.
During the week following the pros
pect shaft of the New Jerusalem mine
struck subterranean gulf stream and
waterlogged the stock, tall yellow
dog, under the weight of a great woe,
picked out my cistern to suicide in, and
l skated down the cellar stairs on my.
shoulder blades and the chronological
location known as love of home in such
a terrible manner rs to jar the founda-
ton of the earth and kick large hole
out of the bosom of the night.
then met with change of heart,
and overthrew the warty heathen god,
and knocked him galley west. My
hens at once began to watch the pro-
duce market. and, noticing the high
price of eggs, commenced to crate
great zeal instead of standing around
with their hands in their pockets. l
saw the new moon over my right shoul-
der, and all nature seemed gay once
more.
The above are few of nv reason for
believing that the Chinese god is either
greatly overestimated, or else shippers
and producers are flooding the market
with fraudulent gods.--BH Nye. in
Puck