The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1884-12-10
How lilo Blufed the Constable by nuotins
Fictitious Law.

How lilo Bluffed the Constable by Quoting
Fictitious Law.
tSellna (Ala) Times1
A few years ago there came to Randolp ph
two Canadian Indians, father and
daughter, who fought the battle for broad
by making beaded baskets, pin-cushio1s,
etc. They remained about town day or
two undisturbed, but finally the magis-
trate, who considered his position very
exalted one, concluded that the strangers
should pay a license and in small way
fatten the exchequer of Randolph. He ac-
cordingly approached the bead venders
and demanded q license Of the old Indian,
whose only response was to draw from his
coat-pocket passport from his own Gov
ernment. At this the old magistrate grew
wrathy, called his Constable, familiarly
known from his gigantic frame and super
abundance Of flesh as "Big Joe" Latham,
and ordered him TO arrest both Eidians,
father and daughter.
The order was obeyed promptly, but just
at this point Of the proceedings Johns
Honeycuts appeared on the scene, and the
following conversation ensued:
"Look'er here, Big Joe Latham, what's
yer goin' to do with these Injunsi"
~ have arrested 'em, sir, because they
haint paid no license for manufacturing
beads, and unless they rake up the spon5
they will have ter 60 TO jail, and they
| will.n
"Big Joe" held the Indians passportI
which Johns demanded, and after glanc-
ing at IL, he replied:
"'Big Joe,' you're durn big fool ;ithesa
Is citizens Of the English republic, and the
fust thing you know, durn your fool skin,
Queen Victory will send her Sheriff out
here, take you over the water and hang
you until you're deader nor q herring.
Now you Just hands Of; I'll take charge
of the critters, and II you mean to keep q
whole hide, don't yer touch 'em."
The big officer knew his man and yielded
with a little exhibition Of reluctance. Johns
led the "Injuns" TO the little hotel kept by
his mother, left them safe within, and then
took oonbIA- barreied o1ip and seated him
s-S< g.. nra--s - 49, uoN'r y. 49, Soru
juice, and when well soaked held the rib
bons over the town, so TO speak; but finally
"Big Joe" mustered courage and ap-
preached him.
"Johns Honeycutt," said the big con-
stable, "I'se a officer nv the law, and do
mand them prisoners, an Of yer don't give
them up I'll git or bill Nv indictment
ergainst yer, and then wen see whose'er
bossin' this town"
"Big Joe Latham you are the durndest
biggest fool in twenty States. Just wait OF
little and let me read you the law" Johns
looked around and found an old weather.
worn code Of Alabama, opened the lids and
quoted aloud from his own fertile imngi-
nation:
"Be It ordained that henceforth, now and
forever, every citizen Of the English re-
public who may or shall come to this coun-
try must be allowed TO make bead baskets,
ETC., and any officer or anybody else who
posters them shall be convicted and sent 10
the Penitentiary forevermore."
As "Big Joe" couldn't read and was not
thoroughly posted In statutory law, he did
not discover the fraud, but quietly re-
marked: "It looks leetle strange" and
surrendered the fort.
Johns stood guard at the door Of the hotel
until freight train rolled up and stopped
at the depot. Then he hurried the "Injunsn
10 the train, opened an empty box-car,
forced his prisoners to get in, and then
closed the doors. Tho train rumbled away
and the boad-venders have never been seen
from that day TO this. But everybody
around Randolph and for miles along the
railroad remembers how Johns Honeycuti
played a bluff game on "Big Joe" Latham
bS quoting fictitious law and telling him
what Queen "victory" would do. Johns
rescued the Indians, his bread came baci
from the waters, his friends have rescued
him, and to-day he Is as free as the wildesi
redskin In the "Great West"