Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-04-09
"a LITTLE NONSENSE"

| n pllS SlCldll SdS D III DuS lnS
clothing care sho 4ld be taken to in
vestigate the hygroscopicity of tn,
cloth" We always do; but as singular
rs it may appear, many persons buy /,
coat and never give thought to its by
groscopicity. This is a great mistake
-NorristoS0n Herald.
-''Who held the pass of Thermopyla
against the Persian hostp' demanded
the teacher And the editors boy a
the foot of the class spoke up and said
Father, | reckon; he holds an annua,
on every road in the country that runs
passenger train" lie went up head
after the rest of the class went home.
Chicago Tribune.
-(The egotism of genius) Eminent
violinist-'Dell me--who is dat fiddle
paid old chendleman viz dc vite viskers
and ze bince-ncz, looking at the
bigchus?" Hostess-"It's my Uncle
Robertson. I'm grieved to say he is
quite deaf! Eminent violinist-"Ach,
am 70 zorry for him! He will not pc
able TO hear me blay re vittle!"--Lonclon
Punch.
Yes" said Mrs. Brownsmith, Il
want good girl, and possibly you
might do; but have you had any expert
enceP" 'Ixpariencc, is it?" replied the
damsel, resting her hands on her hips
and tossing her head in the air; "ixpa-
rience, is itP Faith, and haven't Oi
been in no less than twinty families dur
ing the last month ?"-BoSton Post.
"A river item from the Judge: "Why,
William, where have you been? Your
hats Knocked in, your coats torn and
your legs are rs weak as h baby's. p"
'Ti-ti-ired out, wfcy Been working
hard, you know" "What have you
been doing to fatigue you like thisP"
"Helping some schooners of n the bar. ="
Poor boy! What good soul you are.
Now let me help you to bed. You are
in need of rest
An American who had Jolly Ger
man friend wished to become acquainted
with the Germans charming wife.
"Vell," said the German, ''ofe you
drcat, dot will pc allrighdt!' After the
treat the German led him over to where
the lady was sitting with a number of
friends. Katrina" said the husband,
''you know dot manp" mo-" said
Katrina, modestly. "Vell, dots him!''
Louisville Courier-Journdl
The teacher of country public
school had been absent for several days
on account of the death of her husband
When she returned to her duties her
pupils were so awed by the remem-
brance of the sorrow through which she
had passed that none of them ycnturcd
10 address her. Finally, meek looking
little blue eyed girl mustered up courage
enough to remark: 1--WE are very sorry
for you" IL know you are, my dears, :"
said the widow, tcarfully. Every, very
sorry" continued the sympathetic child,
"and-and we hope IL won't happen
again. IN Y Herald.
"A gentleman was riding with lady
in an open carriage, 'all of summers
day." and acknowledgement arms are
such awkward things, are ever in the
way-dropped an arm around herw waist.
No objection was made for awhile, and
the arm gradually relieved the side of
the carriage of the pressure upon ii. But
Of sudden (whether from late recog-
uition Of the impropriety of the thing, or
the sight of another beau coming, never
was known the lady started with vol
canic energy, and with flashing eye
exclaimed: "Mr. Brown, can support
myselfl'' "Capitall' was the instant
reply, "you are just the girl | have been
looking for these five ycars--will you
marry mep"--Detroit Posi-