Morning journal and courier., 1884-06-12
BETTER,

l Never fall in love. It is better to put on rubbers and step into it very gently.-Yon- kers Gazette. 1 Love is blind. That is why so many young people always like best to court in the dark. I-Burlington Free Press. People are getting so suspicious now that it would not be surprising any Sunday to see l the deacons using bell punch with the con- | tribution box-Boston Com. Bulletin. 1 "How do you pronounce st i-n-g-y ?'' asked the teacher of the dunce Of the class. The boy replied: "It depends a good deal on whether the word refers to 8 person or e be-"
 "What's your occupation, Bub?' asked a l visitor at the Capitol of g bright boy whom to be 2 page in the House "I am running for Congress, sir, he replied. The correspondents all agree that the story ! that the conventions in Chicago were to be l heid in the discarded shoe of g local belle 1 was a malicious fabrication, concocted in | St. Louis for campaign purposes.-Boston 1 Globe.
 ! quack doctor, whe was giving testimony 1 in San Francisco court, was asked if he had l ever performed the operation of dscapita- 1 ton. ''Oh. yes," he said; "I have done 1 that often oftea" sAlRays successfully" Never lost patient under it." Little son of bill broker to his papa: Papa, what is business honor ?" Business honor? We'll, Alphonse, my boy, suppose one of our customers sends athousand francs too much" ''Yes, papa" 'Wsl I give MT. Ratipeau, my partner, five hundred Of it." VoiIa tout. A gentleman who observed Johnnie care fully taking the census of 8 company assem- bled in the parIor awaiting a call to supper inQuiSed, ''Whas is the matter, Johnnie?" Why" replied the urchin, with a troubled air, here's nine of us, counting ms, and mamma has gone and cut the two pies into quarters and that only makes eight pisces. "
 Mr, Countrsman (to his wife). s'On look ing over our expenses fer the last year, and viewing my probable earnings for the next, I have come to the conclusion, Mrs. Ccun try man, that we must cut ont some item. l think we must give up our horse. I find it costs us 50 cents day for keeping Mrs. Oountrymsn (after some thoughD. But, my dear, considering that the horse takes us se church, why not put the amount of it's keeping under the head Of charities, and give our money to the church in that way?" -Harper's Bazaar.
 BAPTIzE TEE FAITH. Ole Uncle John is dead an gone,
 Baptizs in de faith O ds Lawd; An neber mo will he hCe de con,
 Baptizs in de faith O de Lawd: White folks 'Cussd hIm CT stealth CT shoat,
 Baptize io de faith O de L.wd: But he stepped might Squar on de hallelujah boat Baptize in de faith O de LGwd-
 Oh, han me down de gospel hat,
 Oh; han me down my crown,
 Ise gwiRe fur ter lib on Jerusalem fat
 Doan yer heah dat trumpet soun? O,e John he prayed afore he died,
 Baptize in de Aith O 6e Lawd; shuck of wid q Ehiber his arihly pride, Baptize in de faith O de Lawd; He laughed de debil, so keen an sharp,
 BSptize in de faith O de Lawd; Den hit de strings O de heabenly harp,
 Beptize in de faith O de Lawd;
 Oh. han me down my velvet gown,
 Oh, kimne de white kid shoes,
 I'ee gwine fur ter leab dis wicked groun',
 Oh, lissen at the gloyus news.
 -Arkansaw Traveller.