Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1884-09-04

UUs IUs
Mr.. f;orker. This Circumstance somewhat
aroused Carhury's won'a-, he could not i'm
agfne what Dying could nave to say to his
retainer, for oil arrangements Of the house
hold were left in the captains own halldA
He failed, however, to gather any informa-
ton from the buffers stolid visage Byng
always did things well and in very short
time table was spread on which was dis
played every luxury which money could buy
or tho mind Of man conceiva
"Piease forgive me if leave you," said her
host to Miss Laxington; II shall be back
after the interval, and in tho meantime Capt
Carbury will, am sure, look after your
wants"
Miss IAxington grnciously assented, and
the air was soon filed with the clatter Ct
plates and the popping Of champagne corkA
Throughout tho progress Of the orgie Car
bury kept an eye upon tho proceedings ot
the butter He was anxious to find out ths
meaning Of the mysterious communication
made to that worthy by Byng Moreover,
Corkep's movements were decidedly singular.
Ho seemed perpetually at Miss Laxington's
elbow; now pressing on her attention some
triumph Of Byng's chef; now filing her
kiSS Will uo W PiLB np ASI PiINo
with Strawberries. After these little atten-
lions he would retire behind the drag and
write something down piece of paper.
The captains curiosity at length exhausted
his patience He watched his opportunity,
therefore, and came upon Corlser SUDDENLY
Just as that individual made an entry Oh the
mysterious Sheet
"What are you up to-" be asked. Corker
was Ynomchtnr1ly confused, but he answered,
with dignity:
I'm making hinwentory, SIR"
"What the deuce do you meant"
"A hinwentory, sir, by Mr.. Byng's ordera,~
responded the butler, somewhat rutiled. The
captain paused a moment in thought 1t
might be Important This piece of paper
"Come Corker," he said, "let me see that pa
por, and III give you sovereign"
"Couldn't do 1t, sir" answered the incor~
ruptible Corker.
"Oh, well, hang It, I'll make it fiver!'
Mr.. Corker was not proof against the extra
inducemcnt, and SO handed over the myste-
rious slip.
"What on earat-Do you mean to say your
master told you to make this list'"
The butler nodded.
SWELL I'm blessedl Oh, this Is altogether
too lovely Here, III keep it for a bit. Won't
Byng did not reappear until very shortly
before stumps were drawn for the day,
and he made but lame excuse ipr
his long absence Carbury, as 1t happened,
did not SEQ him again till late in the
evening when he found him in a state Of
great mental perturbation, poring over
small sheet Of note paper, on which certain
hieroglyphics were scrawlcd in pencil
"What's the mattcr3" cried the captain;
"you look awfully bad"
.My hopes arc shatterod;" snid Byng, in a
dismal voice; "my fondest illusions have
been rudely dissipated tho dream is over"
"What are you talking about"
"Look at this" answered the philosopher in
his most tragic tones Carbury took the po-
per and read:
1.-TWO platefuls mayonnaise, two ditto PERI
CORD pie, one ditto lobster salad,
two quails in aspic, three merinsues glsces,
six glasses champagne, three helpings straw
berries and CT, am, two ices, ono glass OF
lquer brandy"
We'll what is itl' 1t reads like menu"
at Is the disgusting record Of the guzzling
propensities Of Miss Laxington. l ordered
Corker to keep count, for after what you saw
at Ascot suspected her of materialism-
even of sensualty-and my worst fears are
contlrmed!'
"And you moan to say you won't marry
her becaus, she likes good lunch"
'Nevcr would link my fate to one 80
welded to the grossest pleasures! shall
start for Palestine tomorrow morning You
must come; SO get ready. Goodnight"
The Unfortunate Baggage Gentleman
burlington Iawkoyel
An Aged Trunk sat back in the dark cor
nor of the car and refused to bulge when the
baggage gentleman called him out. The
baggageman In great wrath advanced and
seized the venerable Saratoga by the handle
Gently, friend, gently" sold the Trunk,
"that thing you have hold OF was not made
to lift mo BY"
But tho baggago1nan CAV g it yank that
pulled it out by the roots, and then with vio-
lent Language, he upbra ded tho Trunk for
not holding oa
II have nothing to do with getting out this
baggage" replied the Aged Trunk, my sole
mission and duty in life !, to get on the wrong
train. Failing in that, am content merely
to 20 to tho wrong hotel, although would
prefer to lose my check and get lost entirely.
You will find tho remaining handle ct tho
other end"
The bagsagcman walked around and
caught hold of the surviving handle BY
placing his feet against the end of the trunk
and holding on with both hands, he was able
to pull of this ona in thrco strong pulls
Then the Aged Trun1 closed its eyes, leaned
back and simply said:
And this is where must get Off, too"
The baggageluan wept He had now to
stoop down, put his arms around that trunk.
pick it up bodily, and carry it to the car
door, He did SO, but the exertion broke bis
back In three places He determined that he
would not die unavenged. so he hurled the
now helpless trunk upon the iron-bound truck
that awaited it. Then, as he heard tho awful
crash that announced tho ruin he had
wrought, no sank to the floor Of tho car, say
ing:
II die happy"
But a comrado looked In the car and said,
sadly:
"Missed yer tip, Bill"
"Didn't bust the trunk!" he asked family.
"Naw; only wrecked an express truck"
Hearken to This, We Mothers.
detroit Times.]
The boy who is forbidden to go barefoot IA
defrauded, and he has a right to protest even
with tears and objur.ations The poor little
Girl has the same right if she only CHOKE to
assert it, but she is taught that it is not
rrstty, her feet will get dirty and tanned,
and, worst, of all things, they will spread
out at the toes as nature designed they
should But the boy who cannot kick or
his shoes and stockings and court the tick
ling grass and let the sand run between his
toes, and get stone bruises on his heels and
stub his toe nails deserves conmiseration