The Abilene reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1883-1888, 1884-05-15
A MARTYR DOLOROSA.

Aunt Nancy was the wife of Uncle
Elisha.
1t would be impossible to give BIZ
'ography of Aunt Nancy without jnclu-
ding Uncle 'Lisha, or to eliminate her
individuality long enough to serve her
up alone. And | doubt if the dear old
lady would like such marital independ-
ence. Nor do think she would recOg-
nize any picture of herself that was not
a reflection of him. Like the moon she
-Shone by borrowed light.
Uncle 'Lisha was living Illustration
of the old adage, 1T is better to be born
lucky than rich" His property was
inherited, and he never did day S
work in his life. But everybody else in
his family worked, Aunt Nancy, his
wife, more than any of them. Uncle
Elisha didn't work because he enjoyed
poor health. A partial list of his COM
plants would read about like this:
Fever and ague.
Chronic indigestion.
Paralysis of the heart.
Paralysis of the liver.
Inilammatory rheumatism.
Lameness in the left knee.
Iameness in the right knee.
Justification of the joints.
Hereditary consumption.
(On the mothers side.)
Hereditary apOplexy.
Con the fathers side.)
These were just a few of the ills
which beset the poor man, and made
him exceedingly careful of himself. He
couldn't stoop for fear of apoplectic
symptoms; he was afraid to lift any
thing on account of his spine; he never
dared hurry, as his heart had habit
of beating, and in fact nothing agreed
with him except-dOing nothing. He
was the very same boy referred to in
the following incident. | am aware it
is credited to the Beecher family. but
they never had a monopoly of lazy boys,
if they did of bright ones. Uncle 'Lisha's
father, the good doctor, had one time
been away from home few days.
leaving his two boys. Elisha and
Ezekiel, to do the chores. When he
returned nothing had been done, and
the boys were discovered in hay-mow
reading stories.
"Zeke" Numbered the doctor,
''come here, sir"
Zeke came and stood shamefacedly
before him.
What have you been doing since 1
was away"
''Nothing, sir"
elisha, come here, you, and give an
account of yourself. Tell the truth
now. What have you been doing?"
Helping Zeke, sir"
This faculty was Uncle 'Lisha's stock
in trade, and he steadily improved it
they really considered il wrong to eX-
pect him to do anything. l can see
him vet putting on his boots of win
tiers morning. All the cattle had been
foddered, water drawn and wood car
ried in. Aunt Nancy had been up hours
getting breakfast and hushing the
children and telling them not to make
a noise and wake ''pOor father" who
hadn't slept wink all night.
Gentle soul! 1t is possible that
she believed it, for she was too
tired herself to lie awake to see. And
when he came down they all waited on
him and handed him his boots, while
he fingered patiently in front of the hot
fire. Then he would cough feebly, put
his hand to his heart, sigh-and warm
the inside of one boot. After resting
from this exertion he would take astrap
in each hand and with several attempts
get II on. Then a long rest, before q
similar process with the other one. A
drink of reyiving water was then
handed by one child, while another
stoed by and looked at him as if he had
beezl a ten-horned wonder. Poor
father was only afflicted with spring
fever, which lasted him the year round
in other words, chronic laziness.
81 shan't last long" he would say in
that whiney-piney voice, which ex-
>asperated all who knew him as he
really was. Then, Nancy, YOU and
the children can have it all your own
way"
And Aunt Nancy would cry and the
children howl, and there would be some
added delicscy at the sufferers plste
for the next meal. . 800 -.--s
"There's only dozen eggs in the
house." that sanity woman would OBJ
serve. '.Now, children, I'm going to
cook those for your poor father-don't
one of you ask for eggs"
But when he reached the last egg one
of the tempted children would pluck
up courage to hint for it. Uncle 'Lisha
would look at that child with = counte-
nance Of meek reproach and say:
Yes, take it, take it. and let your
poor, sick father starve."
There was no chance for Aunt Nancy |
% have any pet ailments. If she was