The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1884-11-27
WEDDING ETIQUET.
Duties of the Contracting Parties and Prep
arations for the Ceremony.

=
arations for the Ceremony.
The etiquet of weddings is remotely
founded on the early savage history of
mankind and which bears fruit in our
later and more complex civilization,
still reminding us of the past. In ear
" and in savage DAYS the man sought
his bride heroieallv and carried her of
by force. Ii is still theory that the
bride is thus carried off. Thus the
long-chcrished theory bears fruit in the
English ceremonial, where the only
carriage furnished by the groom is one
in which he drives the bride away to
the spending of the honeymoon. Up
to that time he has had no rights of
proprietorship. Even this is not allow
ed in America among fashionable peo-
pie, the brides father sending them in
his own carriage on the first stage of
their journey. 1t is not etiquet for the
groom to furnish anything for his own
wedding but the ring and bouquet for
the bride, presents for the bridesmaids
and the best man, and some token to
the ushers. He pays the clergyman.
He should not pay for the cards, the
carriages, and entertainments, or any
thing connected with the wedding.
This is decided in the high court of eti-
quet. This is the province of the fam
ily of the bride, and should be insisted
upon.
At the altar the groom, if he is a mil
lionnaire, makes his wife his equal by
saying: ''With all my worldly goods
thee endow;'' | ut until he has uttered
these words she has no claim on his
purse for clothes or cards, or household
furnishing, or anything but those arti-
cles that come under the head of such
gifts as it is lovers privilege to make.
A very precise old-time aristocrat OF
New York broke her daughters en-.
gaSement to a gentleman because he
brought her dress from Paris. She
said if he did not know enough not to
give her daughter clothes while she
was under her roof he should not have
her.
This is remark which applies al
once to that liberty permitted to en-
gagged couples in rural neighborhoods
where the young girl is allowed to &C
on "a Journey at her lovers expense.
girls natural protectors should know
better than to allow this. They know
that her purity is her chief attraction te
man, and that a certain coyness anG
virginia. freshness are the dOwry sht
should bring her future husband. Sup
pose that this engagement is broker
off? How will she be accepted b,
another lover after having enjoyed th'
hospitality of the first? Would it no
make disagreeable feeling between
the two men. although No. 2 Nigh
have perfect respect for the girl?
1t is the privilege of the bride to onam
the wedding-day, and of her father ant
mother to pay for her trousseau. AT
ter the wedding invitations are issnet
she does not appear in public.
The members of the bride ; family gt
to the church before the bride Th
bridegroom and his best man awai
them at the altar.
The bride comes last, with her fathe
or brother. who is to give Ter away
She is joined at the altar step by he
fiance. who takes her hand. and thel
she becomes his for life.
All these ti.ifies mean much. as an
one can learn who goes through tn
painful details of divorce suit.
Now. when the circle of friends OF
both sides is very extensive, it has O
late become customary to send invita-
tions to some who are not called to tn
wedding breakfast. to attend the cere
nony at the church. This sometime
takes the place of issuing cards. n,
one thinks of calling on the newly
married who has not received either al
invitation to the ceremony at tn
church or cards after their establish
ment in their new home.
In most cases the after-cards are or
dered with tie other cards, and tn
brides mother pays for them. But
they are ordered after the marriage tn
groom may pay for these as he woul
pay for his wife's ordinary expenses
Still it is stricter etiquet that eve
these should be paid for by the bride
family.
People who are asked to the weddin
send cards to the house if they cannO
attend, and, in any case, send or leav
cards within ten days after, unless the
are in very deep mourning, when a di.
pensation is granted them.
The etiquet of wedding at hom
does not differ at all from the etiquet
wedding in church with regard I
cards, A great confusion seems to e,
lst in the minds of some as to whoI
they shall send their return cards o
being invited to wedding. Some ask
''Shall send them to the bride, as
do not know her mother?' Crrtainl
not; send them to whomsoever invite
you. Afterward call on the bride O
send her cards; but the first and i'm
portant card goes to the lady who give
the wedding.
The order of the religious part of tn
ceremony is fixed by the church i
which it occurs. The groom must ca
on the clergyman, see the organist, an
make whatever arrangements the brid
plea es;- but all expenses, excepting tn
fee of the clergyman, are borne by tn
brides family.
Wedding invitation requires no ar
swer, unless it be to sit-down wee
ding breakfast. Cards left afterwar
are all-sui1icient. The separate card
of the bride and groom are no longe
included in the invitation. Nothin
black in the way of dress but the ger
tlemen's coats is admissible at wee
ding.