Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-01-13
BRIGHT BITS.

MR.. KELLY now thinks the motor will
move on February l. He does not mention
the year.-Boston Courier.
CHARLES LEVI WOODBURY. asked the Dem
ocrats at the jackson dinner in Boston to look
cen. Butler straight in the eye"
THE barber is not far out OF the way in call
ing himself an artist" None OF the old mas
tiers could draw blood half so artistically.
''WHY is a young lady's age after she
reaches % like floral wedding bell7' ask d
an outsider. And he says it is ''because il is
never told;" but this is libel.
Ell MAHDI has brought about a scarcity in
me commercial supply OF gum arabic. This
SHOWS the cohesive quality OF his strategy
NO wonder his following sticks to him.
SOMEBODY says that ''since England has felt
called upon to elevate Tennyson TO the Peer
age would be no more than fair II this eoun-
try were to give Ella Wheeler the right TO
vote"
AT New jersey wedding the middle aisle
OF the church was covered with autumn
leaves. If the bride resisted the temptation
to gather a couple of armsful she certainly
deserves husband YoRters Gazette.
WHAT this country is yearnins for is a
public school system which will teach the
wives of the future that light housekeeping
is something more than reading novels and
starching their husbands stockiDgs.-FuU
R{Uer AdcGnoe.
WHITAKER, he Of the clipped ears, was
some time ago furnished with a COPY of the
record of his trial. After reading il through
he It down and wrote "Bread winners ms a
punishment to the people who laughed at him
during his time of trIbuatiOn.
Ell VENEOR MAHDI. the False Prophet OF
Egypt, is possessed of one cOmmendabie trait,
an how. He may butcher his captiyes and
pillage towns, but he has never published a
weather almanac. There is some latent good
in all men.-NorristowR Herald.
A BILIOUS exchange advises George c. Cor
ham to emigrate to the western lobe of Texas
and hold himself in readiness to be struck by
Senatorial lightning. The western lobe II
Texas is called the pan handle, and a. Mr..
GOrham's pol teal fat is now in the fire. it
would be the most natural thing in the world
for him to try aud crawl up on the pan handle.
-Teaas S!ftings.
A WASP went buzziDg to his work,
And various things did Iack.e;
He stung hoy and then dog,
Then made a rooster cacke.
AT last upon drummer's cheek
He settled dom 70 drill.
he prodded there for half an hour,
And then he broke his bill.
MALAPRoPos.-Tal of dinner parties, a
gentlema. not long since was dining with q
friend, and was asked to take down a certain
lady. Nov, there were two ladies present,
one widow, whose husband had not died in
the 0dOr of sanctty, the other a married
woman, whose husband had gone to CeylOn.
The unfortunate thought he had the married
lazy on MS arm Dat IL was the WlOoWs ana
turning TO her with his ln"st fascinating
smile. he said, Nice day this has been" ''DO
you think 50? 1t has been SO awfully hot?"
replied She. DO you call this hOtY' said he,
archly. Why. it is nothing compared to he
place your husband has gone tO.'-Edit0r's
Draa0er, in HarI er's AtgdsiHe for Decem5er.
AS matter of course the Willard affair has
been the great topic of the week in Wall
street, but the subject has been so thoroughly
exhausted that tn re Ia nothing to add to it
here, except. possibly, a funny story. Mr..
Wormser, whose Hebrew wit rivals the
| Christian brillianCy Of Mr.. Travers, got of a
rather neat thing. Mr.. WOrmser's Office is in
the basement of Drexel 4 MOrgan's building,
and the str eet's belief is that Drexel & Nor
gan caused most of the trouble in Northern
Pacific and Oregon T"anscontnental by SELL
ing out their holdings. In speaking of the
collapse. the other day, Mr.. Ormser was
moved almost to tears. "Mein Gott! Men
GOttp' he exclaimed; chow mein heart
bleets for dat poor Mr.. Willard. 1t vas all the
fault of dose peoples up dare" pointing to-
ward the ceiling, in the di rectlOn of DreXel &
Morgan's office. eff it had happened down
here they would all sag Mr.. Willard had been
crucifed"