The Warner weekly sun. (Warner, Brown Co., Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1885, 1884-02-01
Las Il GALL.
He Visits the Aristocracy and Is
Filled With Disgust.

ANC
New York Times.
When Brother Shinbones Smith re-
turned, after making his New Year,
calls, TO his brown. wood- front on the
western frontier of Ho5oken, it was
nearly 1:30this morning. He had start
ed ont in the early afternoon arrsyed in
all the glory of his best protracted meet.
ing clothes. A chrome yellow oyercdat
Of antique mold embodied his manly fg.
ure, and a white dicer of lofty emf.
nence poised above his cimmerian brow.
A pair of oblong, brass-rimmed goggles
bestrode his nose, and in his hand he
carried O blue cotton umbrella. His
whiskers were neatly trimmed and oiled
with the aromatic unguent Of the opos-
sum, imported at enormous expense
from the interior of New Jersey. When
he returned the overQoat was
sadly abbreviated in the after
ward department, disclosing q
solemn and suggestive vacancy in the
restfut part of his trousers, Brother
Shinbones did not look SO happy as he
had looked earlier in the day, and be
met the inquiring gaze of his volumin-
u spouse with something that an ig-
8orant person would have taken for
timidity.
"Lawk a massyr, exclaimed Mrs.
Smith. "Shinbones, whar yo' been teri
Xo' Lux as eff yoi he'd been in de den Q.
lions"
wall, / hain't," said Shiubones, de-
posting his umbrella and dicer-in q cor
her.
ssWhat happened ter yer?n
'Jes yo' hop on till / catch my bref q
bit an I'll tell YER
After o few moments CT painful silence
Shinbones turned a sorrowful gaze upon
his spouse, and thus addressed herr
/ had a fus'rate time dis yer day, till /
ondertuk ter make my las call on Mistah
and Missis Hardenberry what libs up on
Union Hill. Dey am putty high-toned
pussons, yer know, an dey heb give me
some jobs awhile washin' up dar. ! was
frlnken Diet | orter kinder pay 'em my
dispects for ell der k~in'ness, 50 4 hauled
myself up dat ar hill, and went fur der
dooh yard. I'd been a-Snakin' putty
good many calls, yer see, an 1t was put
ty Late. Still, see | ter myself, SEE II
'taiGU none too late to be a-calliny on Moo
Years. So ! raised de ole gate open and
mosied right inter de yard an slid up to
NO Ll0EA 0OOtts 1OEEOlG hh0 ~ 49,
eff dey didn't heb a egg basket a-hangin'
ter de dooh knob. Wal, sir, wen ] seed
dat dar egg basket, SEE / ter myself, seq
I, dis yer hain't no kinder way to be
treatjn' a ole fren, an I'm gwine fur ter
git inter dis yer shanty an catch Onter
suthin' er other ter drink. So ] cantereds
up ter de dooh and let fly wild dis yer
fut. Den / listened a bit, but didn't hear
muffin noah dan my own bFetf. 30 1
les hauled OFF an let 'er her'tagin. Den
( kinder imagined / heer a s0rter growl.
l les luked aroun', an, She 'nuff, dar
was Mr.. Hardenberry's bull tarrier
gain at me outen his one eye. Now.
yo' know me, ole woman, and you know
i don't like dawgs,' specially dawgs wild
one eye. An wen de dawg's q bull tar
rier, den Im away orr, chile, umph-
umph. Wal, / kinder backed orfa piece
an whistle ter de dawg. Blame if he
SEE q woi / back. Den I reckoned dat
he warn't much mad, and I mosied up
ter de dooh agin. Soon's I did dat he
begin ter growl. So I begin ter reckon
dat Id bes' git about. So ! starts afur
der gate. Bless yer ole heart, soon's 4
did. dat ar dawg slid aroun' and got IN
'twixt me an der fence. Den | Onder-
tux to reason wild i'm
Pup" SEE Liter dc dawg, SEE /, dis
| yer may strike yonbase. How'm | gwine
ter stan hyar all. night? 70 bettah so
roun' benin do nouse an femme git
| OUT
"But de dawg he only kinder wauk hisI
one eve an, ser muffin. So / went az
| sot down onter de steps, an de dawg he
laid down III front q me with his nose
twixt his front paws an nevah TUX dat
ar eye orr me. Every time / got up de
dawg got up an showed his teef; an den
I sot down again yer kin betcher yer
life, an so did de dawg. VOL after Id
SGT dar, byut TO two yeahs / gan ter GIT
| putty sick OBJ de circus. All on a suddent
/ recomembered that / had a beef
bone in my pocket that I'd borred from
BREEDER Pete Maguff wen I called dar.
I took dat out am seq, Here dawggie,
| good dawggie, eat dat for yv' Moo
Years" The dawg he tackled enter't
an I kinder careiess-liko, started fur de
fence. Soon's | got benin de dawg 1
made q break fur ter jump dc fence an
! skip. Jes as / was risin' on de jump dat
blamed dawg grabbed holt o. me benin
an / lit on my stummick onter de fence.
I kicked an de dawg hung on. Twas
nip an tuck 'twixt me an, de dawe far q
pretty constable time, but pretty soon
Ide ole coat am dc brooches brnk. De
dawg rolled ober onter his back an I
went ober de fence onter my head. Ole
woman, do way I lit aout soon's I cud
pick myself up VAS WEsser dan Lot
scooted out D. Gotham an Tommorah de
time o. de big fab. When dis yer hon
ibIe membah goes a-Noo Years calm,
aRin' yoA be able ter catch Cat.feesh F}d
yo' hams. Gud-niaht