Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-16
BRIGHT BITS.

IT is said that Lieut.. Greedy looked very re-
prvachfully at the waiter at dinner yesterday,
when he asked If he would have ice cream
Brooklyn Times.
PAPA, why do they call Mr.. Blaine a
pllmed knight" lone reason, my son, may
be that while in Office he always JeQthered his
own nest. ''-B0ston Herald.
IT is a sensible girl who, when a widower
pops the question, wants to know before an
swering if he gave his deceased wife a new
bonnet every spring. PHILADELPHIA Herald.
Now you have laid the corner stone; but it
may be some time before the BarthOldi statue
arrives. In the meantime should very much
like to sign a contract to stand in its place.
B-NJ-M-N f. B-TL-R.-PUck.
LIGHTNING frequently plays along the Penn
sylvania Railroad tracks at great elevations,
but never does any damage. Every train has
good CONDUCTOR. \. B,-1he ABOVE was iur-
nished by DR.. Schliemann. -PhiIddelDhi eau.
Two young girls have gone into business as
dolls dressmakers at HOlyoke. This is the
right spirit. but perhaps when they are mar
ried it will be utterly impossible to induce
them to sew button on. There IS never any
telling .-PhiladelDhiG CAL.
THERE is a visible falling off among nv
beaux." remarked the heartless Burlington
girl, as she stationed herself where she could
see the loose plank, which her father had
fixed, dump them one by one on the front
steps.-Eree Press.
MAUD-"Isn't this a queer title for book.
mother; Not Like Other GirlsP | wonder
what che can be if she is not like other girls"
Mother-'-I don't knew, unless she goes into
the kitchen and helps her mother instead OF
staying in the parlor to read novels. life.
THIS is the true version, as guaranteed by
Puck:
Il never had piece of bread,
Particularly hard and nat,
But when it fell upon the floor,
Twas gObbled by the ThOmas-cat.'
'.No. young man, / shall not give my daugh-
ter to any one not able to support her. Why,
you are not worth a fraction of a cent You
certainly labor under mistake. own ten
mi Isl "Ten mills?" YES" pardon me.
Take her. my boy; take her." \. Batter
the wedding the old man was reminded that
ten mills make a cent.-PhttddeLphtd CdH.
"Did Won feel the shock Monday?" asked
the Major. "Well l should say l did," was
the Coioners answer. ''Why, do you know
when the bartender asked me, that it almost
took me of my feetf' Asked you Whatf"
asked me if didn't intend to settle up some
time before Christmas" Il was referring to
the earthquake" said the Major, "Oh, were
you? no didn't notice it very mueh,'
VERY narrow escape! A you h Of Hiber-
MAN extraction in chOpping wood with a
Ratchet the other day was so unfortunate as
to Craze the thumb of his left hand with which
he was steadying the piece of kindling he was
splitting. Ruefully gazing at the injured
member he remarked: 'BegOrra. it was
good thing did not have hold of the handle
with both hands, or I'd have cut 1t of sure
''THE Joneses have gone to the mountains"
said Mrs. Smith, land | think we ought to go
to the beach. If we don't go somewhere the
JOneses will be considered more fashionable
than we are, and I'll be nowhere in society be-
side Mrs. Jones" Don't you trouble your
self, my DEAR said Mr.. Smith, s'we'u be able
to take the starch out of the Joneses in a short
time" in what manner, prayI" asked Mrs.
Smith. "Why, in this way the fall is coming
on and I'll have nv usual attack OF haV fever
shortly. That's one of the most fashionable
Of diseases. Jones never has anything the
matter with him, except an occasional COM
mon, vulgar cold. Don't you fret. When
so they won't be able to hardly look at u.s.
SOperUilEe journal.