National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-01-29
WASHINGTON, Jan. 90.
TRIPLES FOR THE ENsLAvERs.

YIN
"Can woman keep q secret?" OF course
she can-until she sees another woman.
kentucky State Journal
A New York man has sued for divorce on
tho grounds that his wife's breath is so bad
that he cannot kiss her without being made
deathly sick.
Some one has invented machine tn at
will light the fire in the morning and put
out the lamp at night. Most men, however,
will still find it cheaper to get married.
"Why don't you get up as early as you
used to few days ago?" angrily asked a
wife of her lazy husband Because, my
DEAR it's sleep year." he grined, as he turn
over for another snooze.
An exchange wants to know "What should
do with out our girls" Well, dear friend,
we should put our foot down on the COM
mandment about covetousness and make
determined effort to get some other fellers
girls.-Chicago Sun.
There is story of wise monar CHI not
contained in written histories. Two OF his
court damsels had a dispute as to precedence.
The king looked kindly and said: LET the
oldest 60 first" and tho damses embraced
and went in together with entwined arms.
A young man who had been going with a
Vermont girl for some time, aud had made
her several presents, asked her one day if she
would accept puppy. He was awful mad
when she replied that her mother had told
her, If he proposed to her, to say no.-Barying-
ton Free Press.
A contemporary asks: "How shall women
carry their purses to illustrates tho thieves?"
Why, carry them empty. Nothing illustrates
thief more than to snatch womans purse,
after following her half mile, and then find
that it contains nothing but receipt for
spiced peaches and a faded photograph of her
grandmother.
"Margery," said Ethelbert, as they sat on
opposite ends of the Turkish divan, "why am
like the letter OF" and silence fell,
broken only by the melodious cough of Mar
gerys warranted New England throat. Be-
cause dear" added Ethelbert, 81 feel that l
am useless without u" "I thought" said
Nargery, ut was because-Q-never-b begins
kissing" They spell it "quiss" now.
A young lady in steubenville is looked
upon by her set as terrible piece. While
they scream and climb on chairs, beds and
bureaus, at the sight of u mouse. she gives
chase and catches the little terror. She has
q notch-stck on which there arc twonty-
three notches, each notch representing q
mouse caught by her own hands.
A number of ladies, guests at the Gait
house reception, Louisville on New Years
night mistook the silver skewers in the ban
uuCb luCuto VI bhO ulhlHB lOOlu lhNOTS,
and incontinently carried them of to be used
as hairpins. They belonged to the chief
cook and are valued at 500. The mistake
was explained in time TO recover all but four
or five before the guests had l6ft the house.
A confirmed old bachelor was out at n So
cial gathering tho other evening" where he
was SO unfortunate as to become seated be-
hind party OF vivaciOus young ladies. Con-
versation turned upon athletic subjects,
yl,nV, Nnnt
Brown. what Is your favorito eXerciscW
"Oh l have no preferences; but just at pre-
sent 1 should prefer dumb belles" was his
rather curt reply.
1t is pleasant just now to see a woman show
man how snow should be shOveled. Sho
puts shawl about the size of napkin on her
head, takes little fire shovel, opens the door,
closes her eyes throws about three shovel
kitchen, stamps the snow of her feet, and de-
fulls oil the stoop, PUSHES back into tho
clares that mon never knows how to do any
thing anyhow, and that If it were not for tho
women everything would so to the dogs,
YoulSers editors arc proverbial for thoir
gallanJry to the fair soS, but one Of them 90
discouraged on New Years day and swOro
of. Ho found one of the 100 pound fairies
of his city trying to pick her way across q
muddy street. What else could no dor Io
took her in his arms and landed hor high
and dry-shod upon the other side whom she
smilingly exclaimed: "Oh, that's too lovely
for anything. Let's go back " That editor
has gone into winter quarters.
According to n society journal the proper
form for applauding an opera or play, Is to
prepare for the outburst of appreciation be-
fore tho end of the air that arousGs it is
reached The hands arc slowly raised at
about tho middle of the final effort and the
right is held suspended over tho loft, even as
the maternal slipper is held for moment
lowering over the person of the offending
boy; tho mouth slowly opens, the hands are
stretched widely apart until the person at
tached thereto looks like hand organ grind
or's monkey begging for pennies; and as the
last motto is taken tho hands clash together
with mighty force and the shout of bravo
rends the air,