The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-11-14
VOL. XXIX----NO. As. .,r,ga
VARIETIES.

First Wretch slows your wife, old
man ?" Second Wretch: ""Splendid-bad
cold-can't speak above a whisper -
NERVOUS Grip wants to know how to
cure tickling sensation about the face"
Get him to shave off his moustache .IEl .
When young man is lingering the cash
left him by his grandfather can it be said he
is revealing in his ancestral hauls 9,., t,.,
AT what age were you married ?" ask
ed she inquisitively of her lady friend. The
friend being equal to the OCCASION, replied:
AT the parsonage" 1c.sF5iJ % saiHd h7rsi
Mr.. Isaac Came, rich shoemaker of
Liverpool, who left his property I TO public
charities, opened his first shop opposite the
building where he had been servant, and
put up sign which read ~ Came from over
the way sHI l5iHBap BOD l9g:ger sgIlgg
1u DE- As rule, mans a fool, s,a resJ. e,,y
When it's hot he wants il. cool;
.l When it's cool, he wants 1T hot; Els
- Always wanting what it's not;
t..'." Never liking what he's got. 4-'i aisa'
III ~ maintain, as rule, at e..i fo ug-l..
d General Butler sadly sings theilines of
some long forgotten poet who said: ,DI a.
I'd f.-.t.r. Here meath the cypress ,l ,yt,,tr..,
Crushed by a high press A.''.
"H ID iai l{H Of feelings lie. HEl 8'.I al II
Too fondly trusted
8i''i' -i In eliques that busted s"ijaos a'
EH-#'. q .... And knocked me sky high.-LUe.i,
Il thought this was aresort for invalids,"n
remarked the new guest to the landlord of
the hotel, '"but everybody here seems to be
unusually healthy.''ii hLandlord--sBut, my
dear sir, you should remember that they have
all of them just come. There'll be inyalids
enough among them before the winter is
ended" ,4'I4a' .'-5s sii Di--
Robert Hall, the celebrated preacher,
who believed in the virtue of "a little nom
sense now and then," was once reproached by
dull brother with the remark: "How can
a man who breaches like you talk in so tri-
fling a manner g' "There, brother is the
difference between us" said Hall !; you talk
your nonsense in the pulpit talk mine out
oft"
Aunt Matilda is q good deal exercised at
the lack of Judgment displayed in newspaper
advertising She says she is a pretty close
observer, if she is woman, and she has no.
ticed that the storekeepers who are always
overrun with customers, and doing -four
ishing BUSINESS, and who don't need any adj
vertisng, are just the ones who always do
advertise, while those who have no trade,
and need to advertise, never do so. , ...-t
One of the Princes of good cheer in
Norwich, who is not perfectly familiar with
all the authorizations and initials used by the
dllOBetutE qultc bOO-tOO, TtCtlVcu from
friend the other day an invitation to recep-
ton, in the corner of which were the letters
r. S. V.P.. "H.m-m," said he to himself as he
meditatvely repeated the initials, ''R.-S-
V.-P. know what G. o. ID. means, but I'll
be blamed if know what r. S. V. P. means"
"Why," said friend, who observed his per-
plexity, that means Rum Served Very Plenti-
fully" "rll go" said the other decidedly
Many years ago when new sects in New
England began to break the good old con-
gregational barriers and make incursions
into the sheep. folds of the regular clergy, a
reverend divine, a man of good sense and
good humor, encountered an irregular prac-
titioner at the house of one of his flock.
They had pretty hot discussion on their
points of difference, and at length the inter
loper wound up with saying, well, doctor,
you'll at least allow that it was commanded
to preach the Gospel to every critter?"
True" rejoined the doctor, "true enough.
But never heard that it was commanded to
every 'critter' to preach the Gospel" '''''.