Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-01-21

and the next morning after | read
your devilish paper, put on my Sun
day suit, and the white plug hat that
I bought the year Greeley run for
President, and went to the barn to
milk. I noticed the old cow seemed |
to be bashful and frightened, but
taking off my hat and bowing polite
ly, said, Madam excuse the SEEM
ing improperly of the request, but
will you do me the favor to hoist?
At the same time 1 tapped her gently |
on the flank with my plug hat, and
putting the tin pail on the floor under
her l sat down on the milking STOOL"
"Did she hoist?' said we, rather
anxious to know how the advice had
worked.
ssDid she hoist? Well look at me,
and see if you think she hoisted.
Say, / tell you in confidence, and /
don't want 1t repeated, but that cow
raised right up and kicked me with
all four feet, switched me with
with her tail and hooked me with both
horns, all at once, and when / got up
out of the bedding in the stall, and
dug my hat out of the manger, and
the milking stool out from under me,
and began to maui that COW, I forgot
all about the proper treatment of
horned cattle. Why she fairly gal
loped over me, and never want to
read your old paper again.
We tried to explain to him that the
advice did not apply to brindle cows
at all, but he hobbled out, the mad
dest man that ever asked a COW to
hoist in diplomatic language.
FOES TO LIFE IN INDIA.
1t is somewhat remarkable that IN
spite of the enormous population of
India, and the great material activity
maintained, the wild animals and
poisonous reptiles should still PIE
serve formidable existence. The
explanation, perhaps, is that the
country is, in its physical features,
an ''epitome of the GLOBE" with vast
mountain ranges, noble rivers, i'm
mense jungles and wide plains, to-
gether with all kinds of climate, from
the torrid almost to the frigid. Last
year there were %, ,125 human beings
and AZ ,707 head of cattle killed by
wild animals and snakes, showing a
considerable increase on the totals of
the previous year. Of the human be-
ings destroyed, 1888 fell victims to
snakes, S95 to tigers, 27S to wolves,
2O7 to leopards, $50 to jackals and
POP to alligators-nearly all the dan
gerous animal species of the country
r having thus eXacted sacrifices. The
government gives rewards to persons
killing these pestilent denizeus, and
last year the destruction took place
of Is, ,591 wild animals and 1922 ,421
J snakes; but it would seem that little
or no impression has been made upon
: the surviving mass. If the snakes
could be extinguished the problem
would be less difficult of solution
2 but the haunts of these deadly rep
} tiles present obstacles to pursuit
) which no one has attempted to over
1 come, and the most that need be
e hoped for at present is the slaughter
E of those venturing among the beaten
| tracks of men. The alligators that
. prowl in the rivers, and last yeal
' killed POP persons, can pretty wei
' defy hnman hostility, as there does
S not appear to be any method of ex
I terminating them. When we consid
q er that, in addition to the dangers o.
S life from so many foes to our species
Il the great territory of India swarm
f with volatile insects of various kind
o from mosquitoes to locusts-it will
:, be realized that it is not very com
b Portable country in which to dwell.