National Republican., 1884-02-28
ON TIE AVENUE.
Small Talk About Men and Measures.

During tho recent visit Of the Illinois
press association to this city. among the
other places of interest visited by them was
the treasury department. where, after secur-
ing the necessary permit from the secretary,
they were taken by their guide down into
the vaults where is stored tho millions of
surplus revenue that have been so steadily
accumulating for the past years. The group
of editors were particularly struck with the
packages of bonds which had the value of
the contents printed in plain letters on the
outside of each. Noticing the interest taken
in this direction, the guido picked
up package marked Sl0,OOOOOO,
and handing 1t to fat editor,
said: "Put that under your arm and you can
say that you have had ten millions in your
hands all at once" The scribe Rugged the
bundle up to his chest convulsively and
twelve-inch smile split his countenance into
two good natured hemispheres.
"What would you do with 1t. Hawkins, If
1t were all yours ?" asked one of his friends.
The bucoic journalist turned pale, the
cold sweat gathered on his brow, and his eyes
stuck out like the knobs on hat rack at the
bare thought of possessing SO much wealth.
"Pd-er-I'd-er go down to Aurora" he
at last managed to gasp out "and-er-by
thunder, I'd start daily newspaper"
ass
Yesterday the mortal remains of poor
Jimmie Lindsay, who died in this city some
months ago, were disintorred and by friends
were forwarded to Mechanicstown, Nd,
where they will be buried in tho family lot
in the village cemetery. His relatives were
most deeply panied upon learning Of the cir
cumstances attending his DEATH and had they
known Of his condition would have promptly
cared for him. Agrim sort of PRIDE however,
kept Lindsay from asking aid from any
member Of his own family, and so the end
found him alone and away from those who
would have extended to him sympathy and
succor. Had he done so, a mother, whose
heart had cried out in anguish over her way
ward boy, would have been by his side to
soothe his last moments 1t is because of her
loving care, which would have bridged the
gulf of years Of estrangement, that tho re-
moval Of his body to rest beside those of his
own blood has been undertaken.
a>s
He was young husband and had been
trusted to roll the baby around in its new
carriage for the first time The youngster
crowed and enjoyed tho trip hugely until a
sudden jolt reminded it that its lungs needed
exercise, Then it squirmed and howled as
though it would 60 into convulsons. The
unhappy father tried to soothe his offspring,
but the only result was to make it howl the
louder. Finally, in desperation, he abandoned
the hopeless task, and seizing tho handles of
the perambulator started in n brisk
walk for his home two blocks away. Just
as he got opposite the - church the doors
opened and whole bevy Of girls that he had
known and flirted with in his bachelor days
came tripping out. There was convuls-
i've gggle, and then dainty little brunette,
who evidently owed the unhappy Benedict
something ON an old score, turned and called
through tho half-open door, "Oh, do hurry
out here girls, Charley Blank has brought his
new baby over to show u.s." The girls hurried
out, but Charles took a six-mile- AN hour gait
for his domicile, with the skirts of his New
market coat wrapping about his legs, and that
precious infant shrieking loud enough to give
q man in Georgetown the earaohe.
w.
Many very queer letters from would-be
pensioners Of the government arc received at
the pension Office, but the grounds upon
VIII ich pensions can be granted are pretty
we'll settled by law. The commissioner was,
therefore, surprised the other day to receive
| letter from an ex-soldier, who had dis
covered an entirely new ground for relief.
He stated that he had no wounds and was not
disabled by disease He needed money, how
ever. He wrote that he had been in the union
| a,,1 G0b IN, tho A.,
battle Iof Antietam. Early in the engage.
ment ho had lost his coat, vest, and
one suspender. "The other suspender," he
wrote, was my only stay and support.
Imagine my dismay when n bullet came
along and, slightly scorching my skin as ii
passed, cut that last precious suspender clean
in two. There ] stood in the presence OF
many thousands of men. My emotions can
not be described You, Mr.. Commissioner,
can imagine them. l am certainly entitled
to pension for the wounds given to my feel
ings on that occasion. Possibly you may not
decide that large pension should be given
me, but at least l ought to have enough ia
keep me in strong, reliable suspenders all my
life."
There is suspicion that this wretched
veteran was attempting to guy" Commits
sioner Dudley, and not much more respectable
was the western veteran who wrote that he
had looked himself all over carefully, but
had been unable to find any scars, and the
only ground which he could find for a claim
against the United States was that he hat
lost 1915 playing poker in camp Just before
the battle of Gettysburg.
aa#
They were talking about American actors
and actresses in England and about the
professional matinees" which Mary Ander-
son has been giving in London. This moved
the Anglo-American to make some remarks
Next week." said he, "there will be two
dramatic companies, composed exclusively oi
: English men and women, playing in Wash
ington. 1t is the first time I believe
that the Irving and Wyndham com,
panies have been advertised to play in the
same city at tho same time. 1t would
be very clever time for q professiona
|, matinee There has never been one il
: Washington, and should like to see one
next Wednesday. Probably the Wyndhan
company could give it more easily than thC
Irving company, as an exacting performance
is less of a strain upon comedian than q
0 tragedian. But whichever company gave it,