Morning journal and courier., 1884-06-26
A co MASH"

The Maiden's Prayer: That she may make mash before any of her female acquaint- ances--Watertovn Observer. Jones says the landlady at his boar ding house acts real cold toward him, and he l doesn't know of anything he has done except ! to ask for another ''dose of pie."-Boston Gazette.
 Now that black stockings are the fashion l it is not safe to steal up behind your wife and surprise her with kiss. Instead of your wife it may be the colored cook.-Philadel- phia Gall.
 A Chicago man worth $50, ,OOO left only $1 to his wife in his will She will contest his will, of course. Probably she always did, and that is why she did not get more.-Phil- adelphia Call.
 school teacher in Lawrence, Mass, re- gently fell heir to $50, GOO. She immediately bought ton of pure, assorted spruce gum, and retired foE the rest of her ife.-Burling- ton Free Press.
 "Dear George" said the young wife. ten derly. as she stroked her husbands Irving bang; shall sing Some Day'?" "Yes, dear, !" replied the heartless wretch; ''some day when Pm away from home."-Somer- vile Journal.
 Willing to please; Mistress (to lazy house maid): Now, Mary, you know l au going to give ball to morrow night, and 1 shall ex- pect you to bestir yourself and be useful gen. eraily." Mary: ''Yes, mum, but I'm sorry to say I can't danca."
 q wonder if there will be any dudes in heaven?'' said Somerviile miss the other day to a companion. ''If there they won't part their hair in the middle,'' WAS the reply. oWhy uot?'' ''Becauss there is no parting there ''-Son ervile Journal.
 ''I hev alius noticed" observes Aunt Tabi- tha, ''that the boy who lets his mother bring in all the kindlin' wood and build the kitchen fire is the mourner that beliers loudest at her funeral" And then she added thoughtfully, ''Mebbe not it is because he misses her the most
 young man and his girl who were in on an excursion the other day entered an ice cream parlor, ordered cream, and after it was brought waited so long that the party wEo served them ventured to ask if there WAS anything wrong II guess not" replied the young man. When we came in we saw folks in the froRt room eating soda water with spoons, and we were waiting to see if you'd bring forks for us to eat this ice cream guess we might as well pitch in, Sally.''- Detroit Free Press.
 Johnnie" said girl to her bashful com pauy as they occupied remote ends of the sofa the other night, II that lady in been kissed by Washington Yes" said Johnnie, II saw it too." Suppose you were to become great man like Washing ton2'' ''Well?" said Johnnie. ''And I were to live to be 1O4 years old?" ''Weli?" said Johnnie. II couldn't say of you what the old lady said of Washington, could F" Then he kissed her.-Chicago Tribune.
 Ikey, who has recently returned from q personally miscond ucted trip to Paris, is never tired of relating his wonderful adven lures to his doting. but somewhat suspicious mamma. ''Yoa'd hardly believe it," said key, "but all the boys and girls in Paris speak French as easy as I speak English. :" And who teaches them?" said the old lady, flushing onainously. ''I thought the French were bad linguishers?" q don't know" said key; 'but it is still more funny to hear all the French dogs bark in English. Judy.