davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
Choosing n Husband.

| Mixed with the humor and nonsense of the
following selections are many shrcwd and
valued hints to those young ladies whose
| minds are prone to thoughts of love. First
catch your lover Hold him when you have
him. Don't let go of him to catch every
new one that comes along. Try to get pretty
well acquainted with him before you take
him for life. Unless you intend to support
him find out whether he earns enough to sup
port you. Don't make up your mind that
he is an angel. Don't palm yourself off on
| him as one either. Don't let him spend his
| salary on you that right should be reserved
| until after marriage.
If you have conscientious scruplcs about
marrying man with mother, say 50 in
time, that he may get rid of her to oblige
| you, or get rid of you to oblige her, as he
thinks best If you object to late hours and
| tobacco, 1T is better to come out with your
| objections now than TO reserve them for cur
| tain lectures hereafter. If your adorcr hap
pans to fancy u certain shade of hair don't
color or bleach to obligc him. Remember
your hair belongs to you and he doesn't. Be
sure it Is the man you are in love with, and
not the clothes he wears; fortune and fashion
are both so tickle, it is foolish to take stylish
suit of clothes for better or worse If you
| intend to keep three servants after marriage,
/ oStllC bhC ilubNtl DClolC-llitllN, blC HldH WHO
is making love to you may expect you to do
your own washing. Don't try to hurry a
proposal by carrying on a Irritation with some
other fellow different men are made of diff
ferent material, and the one you want may
go off in fiji of jealousy and not come back.
Do not marry Il man to oblige any third per-
son in existence; it is your right to suit
yourself in the matter; but remember at the
same time that love is blind, and II little
friendly advice from one whose advice is
worth having may insure you n lie time of
happiness, or prevent one of misery. In love
affairs always keep your eyes wide open, so
that when the right man comes along you
may see him. When you do see him you
will recognize him and the recognition will
be mutual. Ifyou have no fault to find with
him personally, morally, politically, religious
ly or any other way, he is probably perfect
enough to suit you, and you can afford to
believe him, hope in him, love him, marry
| him.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
Why the Drummer was not Drumming

Among the stories told ut the Twenty
fifth reunion was the following good one
One OF the drummers, while the regiment
was on the move, had penchant for forag-
ing on his own account, and the chickens
had to roosL high to escape his far-reaching
hands. Whenever night overlook them this
drummer had II good supper provided for
himself. On one occasion he had raked in
couple of turkeys and had put them into his
drum for convenience in carrying. When
the regiment was halted for the night, the
colonel Immediately ordered dress parade,
and the drummcrs were expected To beat up.
The foragcr made his drumsticks go, but the
quick eyed colonel noticed that lie was not
drumming.
"Adjulant," said the colonel, "that man
isn't drumming. Why amt he drumming? ?"
The adjutant stepped up to him, saying,
"Why amt you drumming?"
because said the quick-wittcd drummer,
have got two turkeys in my drum, and one
of 'em is for the colonel"
The adjutant went back and the colonel
| asked, "What is it?"
"Why, he says he has got two turkeys in
| his drum, and one of 'cm is for the colonel"
| Up to this point the conversation had been
| carried on soto voce, but when the adutant
| reported, the colonel raised his voice so that
| all could hear, "What Sick is he? Why
didn't he say so before =? Send him to his
| tent at once"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
House Cleaning Hints.

When wall paper is discolored by the hair
fpeople, rub carefully with stale bread
Sweep down dust and spilerwebs and
wipe the wall paper straight down from the
top with piece of cotton flannel tied over
broom; change this often to prevent soil.
ing.
Clean paint with ammonia-a tablespoonful
to quart of water; it is also excellent for
implanted woodwork. Never put soap on
paint, rs it kills the oil causing it to flake
from the wood Whiting removes all spots
and dscolorations. Wet flannel, dip in
the whiting and rub. Wash off well and
wipe dry. In fact, whenever you clean let
the last wipe be with dry cloth. Scour
yellow spots with powdered borax.
Oil cloth must be wiped perfectly dry as il
is washed. Usclittle soap, and this is in tcpid
water, change often. A good brush and a
piece of dry flannel will make an oil cloth
look like new, especially if linsecd oil or
skim-milll be well rubbed in after washing
Ii i'll addition to these precautions they are
vanished annually they are almost indie
structiblc
In washing windows have bit of pine
stick over which TO lay the cloth in order to
reach the corners. Old newspapers are eX-
cellent for removing lint and giving fine
polish. II stoves are to remain during sum.
mcr have them black loaded while the car.
pets are up, pinning papers over the wall be-
hind them while this is in process Stoves
that are to be stored should be rubbed with
Kerosene and covered TO keep off flies and
dust.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
Had Enough of the Office.

The following resignation of country
Judge were recently sent to the governor of
Arkansas 81 have got enough Of this blam.
cd Office | took this here place eXpectin' to
be respected, but mud has been flung at me
ever since. The temperance people an the
still house folks have been pullin' at me all
the time, an finally, when l concluded to 20
with the still,house folks, the Temperance
people lowed didn't have no sense an was
an ole fraud jes' like n man didn't have a
right to do AZ he pleases in this here free
country. "Well, they KEEP on harpin' an
harpin' till lowed that mebbe was wrong,
so turned over to the temperance people
Then the still house folks gun TO howl. an
swore that wuz fool an thief, anyhow.
So You see. don't know which way to turn,
an wanter say right here thai you may take
the blamed office yourself"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
The Model Farmer.

lie should not buy more land than he can
pay for easily, and till to advantage. The
hardest thing to raise on n farm is mort
gage. Thirty or forty acres carefully cult
waited will prove more profitable than two
hundred on which the same care and labor
| are expended.
He should not have more stock than he
can shelter well and keep in good order
through all the season. 1t is poor economy
to stint cattle through the winter and cX-
pect them to do as well in the coming spring
| as they wonld under generous treatment. A
man should be merciful to his stock not only
because of moral considerations but because
it pays best in the end. Cattle that are ston-
ed by the boys, kicked by the men and wor-
ried by dogs; are not likely TO thrive in flesh
or milk. Such treatment is silly, brutal and
every way Improbable. The occasions are
very rare where beasts of burden-hOrscs or
oxen-are benefited by the application of the
rod. People who wreak their insane fury on
helpless dumb animals are ut those moments
something lower than beasts themselves.
He should keep n careful account of his in
come and ouigors. No business can prosper
that is based ON uncertainties. The habit of
Keeping close account begets prudence,
economy and wisdom in management. If a
man can figure out fair profit us the result
Oh his years labor il is 4 source of satisfaction
and contentmcnt if the balance is on the
other side he will ascertain the cause of his
failures and follow new courses. "Boolx
farming" is no longer despisedby intelligent
men.
He should make his home and its imme-
mediate surroundings as pleasant as his
means will permit. Heshould at least take as
much pride in identifying his home and sup
plying it with the comforts and convenicnces,
if not the luXuries of life, rs he docs in hay
ing fine or blooded stock and neat and large
oulbuldings. A proper regard for the hap
piness of those whose duties lie chiefly with.
in doors wonld dictate this. The matters of
the house" are of primary Importance, for
what after all is the chief end of labor but to
make the home life happier and better. Half
the dizziness and monotonY of life on the farm,
driving the boys and girls to the towns and
cities, would be banishcd if the same pains
were taken to make the home beautiful and
attractive that are taken by most rcsidents,of
towns and cities
The successful farmer will do his work i'm
season. There is no business where regulari-
ty is more essential then in farming The
merchant and the manufacturer can cover
ground lost by neglect or nattcnlon easier
than the farmer. The farmer who is chasing
his work all the year round trying to catch
up with it, is doomed to ultimate failure.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06

Terms-si.so a Year, In Advance
gnctical.
HE WILL. CONF

wherefore be we also ready, for in such
hour rs ye think not, the Son of man cometh.
He will come, perhaps, at morning,
When to simply live is sweet;
When the arm is strong, unwearicd
by the MONDAY toll and heat;
When the undimmcd eye looks fearless
Up the shining heights of life,
And the eager soul is painting,
Ycarnng for some noble strife.
He will come, perhaps, at noontidc,
When the pulse Of life throbs high,
When the fruits of toll are ripening,
And the harvest time is nigh,
Then through all the full orbed splendor
OF the suns meridian blaze,
There may shine the strange, new beauty
OF the Lords TRANSPORTED face.
Or IL may he in the evening"
GraVcand sOmbrc Is the sky;
Clouds around the sunset gather,
Far and dark the shadows lie
When we long for rest and slumber,
And some tender thoughts of home
Fill the heart with vague, sad yearninE,
Then, perhaps, the Lord will come.
1.-The only finds us ready
In tho mornings happy light,
In the strong and fiery noontidc,
Or the coming of the night
If lie only finds us waiting,
Listening for his sudden call,
Then His coming when we think not
Is the sweetest hope ofall.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06

SHE WASN'T WORTH IT.--A backwoods-
man promised To send the minister fifty
pounds of maple sugar for marrying him,
Time passed on, and no maple sugar arrived
to sweeten the minister's household Some
months later he saw the newly married
husband in town, and velurcd to remind him.
"My friend, You did not send the maple sugar
you promised" With saddened coun-
tenance, the man looked up and replied,
ITO tell you the TRUTH governor, she amt
worth it,"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
Skin-Scraping Sarcasm.

as my shaving agreeable to you, STRIP. ,
loquacious barber asked II customer whom Ii,
had been ilaying alive.
my wife would admire il very much,
rather indefinitely responded the man under
torture. 3
"Ah," said the barber with great com
placcncy, "ladies are often excellent Judge.
of their husbands being well shaved. Ant
you think mine will suit, sir?" .ii
"No doubt of it in the world. IL was onl,
this morning she became angry because /
told her could moi afford To buy her, new
bonnet, and said | ought To be skinnet
alive" H 4
The barber lost himself in reflection
PttSba,y Chronicle.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06

NAMEs.-Names originated from the pecu-
liarities ofthe life or other circumstances of
the person to whom they were applied as
distinguishing marks John, the clerk, be
came John Clark James, the smith, became
James Smith; tall man become Long, and
a short man became Short; William ON the
hill became William Hill, and Samuel, the
fuller, became Samuel Fuller, and SO on. There
are few names of families that cannot be
traced back to their origin in some such
way, Hill is English-OhicdgO Nesos
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
The Palace Clothing Establishment
Of Baltimore,

Opens its doors to the public on April 9Th, and
extends to all lovers of FINE CLOTH ING spe-
cial invitation to look over its Goods. Our OBJ
ject is TO supply gentlemen with srch Spring and
Summer Clothing they have hitherto been unable
to procure except from Merchant Talors, mt ex-
orbtant prices. We obviate all delays and
chances Of insists that so frequently follow or
dercd goods, and we guarantee our Garments
fully equal, and even superior, to most measured
work, ut considerably lower figures.
Tho most fastidious cannot fail TO he pleased
with the Mems and Boys Garments shown at
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06


A RETIRING MAN,--"Unclc Pete, were
you present at the recent atiray ?" asked the
magistrate.
al war, jedge. Dat is TO say, not 'zactly
present, but kinder spicu'us ROM de subewls
oh de crowd"
How doyou know there was fight going
on?"
You see, wen de crowd begun TO run
ober me, an dc pistils begun to crack right
libcly, an dc builils war flynn thick rom
my habyus copus, 'cludcd da war a-gittin'
agitated, SO retial'd TO dc saddlah shop"
did you remain in the shop2"
mot very long, Jedge. AFTER arrovin'
dar dun look Outen de winder, an wen
seed men shot down, an abullit come in and
Craze my head, | 'spected dar war gwine tel
be a furse, SO kinder santercd outen de bacl,
way an went to tend TO some business in dc
country"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1884-06-06
l.5O PER ANNUM.
6au Street Column.

A Comfortable Omnibus will be found
waiting at the Maryland Central Depot,
inlBaitiMOre. TO convey passengers Free
of Charge to Old Town. Return tickets
TO the station will be furnished by any
member Of the Old Town Merchnnts' Az.
sOciatiOn.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22
TUESDAYS BATTLE.

The first gun has echoed throughout
the land aud the result is a grand vic
tory for the republican cause. AS the
rural districts are heard from the victory
rapidly assumes still larger proportions,
so that from present indications our ma
jority in Ohio will not fall far short of
$1,000. It is the same old, old story.
The country will not again surrender
the government to the democratic party.
1t lea that a party without principle
shall not control the policy of this coun-
try; it means that a party that is too
coWardly to face the only real living is
sue before the American people, to-Wit:
the tariff question, is not fit to govern
citizens, whether native or naturalized,
are largely in favor Of protection to
American industries; it means that the
Irish element, which has hitherto been
loyal to the democratic party, can be de-
ceived no longer, and has allied itself in
great numbers to the republican party,
whose history shows it to be the party
of progress.
Now for New York! up, guards,
and at themW The victory is ours.
The Empire state will wheel into line
and "keep step to the music of the
Union" The democracy are torn sun
der in that land of sober thinking men.
Tammany is Indifferent; the Irish are
in open revolt, and old Ben Butler is
drawing away ten votes from the dem
ocratic party to one from the republican
party. The independents represent no
body but a sorehead element, and will
not muster a thousand votes all told.
The republican party is better and
stronger without them. New York will
give Blaine SO, 1000 plurality.
Another thing-the victory in Ohio is
but the prelude to our victory in Cho-
teau. Verify, there is a God in Israel,
and even here victory will perch upon
our banners.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22
WE have heretofore set forth the re

WE have heretofore set forth the rea-
sons why the republican candidates
should be elected. The chief reason is
that they were one and all selected with
man on the ticket but what will make a
good officer. Their characters are be-
You'd reDroach; their honesty and fidel-
ity have in most-instances been tried
and they have never been found want
ing. What better recommendation do
the voters Of Choteau county require
than these. They will therefore be
elected.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22

THE result of the election in Ohio
was, as we had anticipated, the triumph
u Tie republican ticket. The 1neagre
returns which have so far been received
indicate a republican majority of at least
1880, with a possibility Of being in
creased to 10000 when the official count
is made. The democrats have strained
every nerve to carry the state, importing
voters and resorting to their usual meth
DDS of trickery and fraud, and in spite
of it all the republicans have %triumphed.
Ohio has been regarded during this
campaign as the state which was ia
doubt, but the republicans, rallying III
der their national standard bearer, have
shown what they can do. As goes Ohio
SO goes the Union.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22
T. f.

The voters of Choteau county are de-
sirous of securing a good and efficient
representation in the lower house of our
territorial legislature. Such a man is
w. f. Parker; well qualified by educa-
ton and experience to fill this impor-
tant office. Mr.. Parker is not a poIiti.
clan. He did not seek the office te
which the convention saw fit to nomi.
nate him, but accepting the nomination
he will look to his friends for their gen
erous support, which he will %undoubted-
" receive. The result will be his cleo
ton by a handsome majority.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22

REPORTS from all over the county
point directly to republican success in
November. The dissatisfaction among
the democrats is more wide spread than
they care to acknowledge. The same
feeling of security which characterized
their canvass two years ago is not now
felt; they are looking with alarm upon
the possibility of republican uccess and
will strain every nerve to keep Choteau
county in line. The issues are direct
and it will not be possible to coerce or
bulldoze the honest voters of the county
by specious arguments and fallacious
reasoning. The time has come which
will witness the overthrow of democrat
ic rule and in~augurate a season Of good
government and honest, effective adj
ministration of public affairs at the
hands of the republicans. Work stead
ily and earnestly and this long looked
for triumph will lie ours.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22
r. C. ROOSEVELT.

party for countyofficers, Mr.. IF. G. Roose-
welt perhaps has the greatest claim upon
the suffrages of his friends. Two years
age Mr.. Roosevelt ran for the office of
treasurer with no show Of being elected,
and this year he is offered as a candidate
for the office of assessor. This is n of
the most difficult offices to fill, but he
brings with him ripe business exper-
fence. He is thoroughly known in Cho-
teau county and respected by every one.
If elected, and there is no room to doubt
that ne will be, MI. Roosevelt will make
the best assessor Choteau county has yet
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22

A LONDON dispatch brings the infor-
nation that the West Indian colonies
Of Great Britain are DESTROYS Of becom-
ing a part of the Canadian confedera-
ton, and Earl Derby is said to have
given official assurance that the govern
ment would acquiesce in such an ar
rangement, and will confer with the
Canadian premier on the matter. Ii
the scheme should 60 through, and
subsequently the United States should
annex Canada-as SO many discomfort
ed residents are bent on forcing it to do
the question arises whether the West
Indies would also have to be annexed at
the same time. However, the Canadi-
ans have got to be heard from on the
question, and it is doubtful if they view
the proposition favorably. Possibly
they might do SO if they could see any
hope of an inc of revenue great
enough to tighten the load of Canadian
Pacific debt that now promises to swamp
them.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22

From all portions Of the county the
most satisfactory assurances are contln-
ually coming in, showing that the
people demand a change. They see
the strife and dissension existing in the
democratic party; they see that it is
now. and long has been, controlled by a
little clique of politicians about Fort
Benton: they see that under democratic
officials the Indebtedness Of the county
has already increased to about one hun
dred and forty thousand dollars, and
they are calling a halt. They are deter
mined to cut down expenses and bring
about greater economy in the admins
tration of the affairs of the county.
They see no hope of attaining these de-
sired results by longer continuing che
democracy in power. Hence the APP
preaching election will see more scratch
ing lone by democrats than was ever
before witnessed in Choteau county.
This is as it should be. It is high time
that the tax payers Of Choteau were
looking beyond party in the selectl on OF
their local officers.
Besides this, under the platform of the
democratic party Of this county, the
right to scratch is expressly reserved to
all democrats so far as county officers
are concerned. The second resolution
of that platform is as follows: "That in
territorial affairs, wherever a principle
of democracy is involved, we believe in
a rigid adherence to party lines.' But
the third resolution lets down the bars
and distinctly authorizes democrats to
scratch. Here is the resolution:
That in county matters, fully realiz-
ing the urgent necessity for q good and
economical administration OF the county
government, we believe that in the Sc
lection Of candidates for office their fit
ness for the same should be oar primary
consideration.
Under this resolution every democrat
is at perfect liberty to scratch to his
hearts content; hence letethe pencil be
used freely, and there can be no reading
out Of the party for exercising a privi-
lege thus expressly authorized by the
party itself in convention assembled.
That convention was composed OF the
the best element-the creme de la creme,
as it were-of Choteau democracy, and
the democrat who should 0 question
the right of a acknowledgements to scratch
| would certainly have a wonderful ain
punt of gall.
We don't remember ever before to
have seen a scratching resolution insert
ed in a democratic platform. The aver
age democratic politician has usually
urged his followers to vote the whole
ticket irrespective of any trifiing con-
siderations such as %capability, honesty,
sobriety, etc. But the world moves.
We live in an age of progress, and even
democrats are gradually forsaking the
evils that SO long have been a stumbling
block in the way of progress and good
government. Let every democrat go to
the polls with a good, sharp Faher Nc.
2, and use it freely. This is precisely
what resolution No. 8 means: SCRATCH +!
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22

PHILADELPHIA PTsss: The Know
Nothing bugaboc has been operating
on the democratic mind for a number Of
years, andedt has been at work again
this campaign trying to fasten the charge
upon Some candidate. Thus tar its eff
forts have been fruitless. IF it will fol
low the course of empire westward, it
will find in the democratic candidate
for governor Of Indiana the man it has
been anxiously looking for, who admits
that he was an officer of a Know-Noth-
ing lodge, and is glad Of it.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1884-10-22

II. G.. DAVIS, president of the West
Virginia Central & Pittsburg Railroad
company, the only company owning
mines in West Virginia in which Mr..
Blaine is interested, says, in denial Of a
democratic lie, that their company has
employed pauper labor, and is be-.
side, almost the only one in the state
that has not experienced a strike. He
says their men are all satisfied and. E1ak-
more than the average miner Of the
country.