davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15
Rh.uu.t,,m o~,o,sy c.r.A.

There has never been . medicine Tor
rheumatism introduced in the United States
that has given such universal satisfaction
rs Durang's Rheumatic Remedy. 1t stands
out alone as the one great remedy that act
ually cures this dread disease. 1t IL taken
internally, and never has and never can
fail to cure the worst case in the shortest
time. 1t is sold by every druggist at 81.
Write for free forty page pamphlet to X. 4.
HELPHENsTINE, Druggist, Washington, DC.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

No oPIATEs or drastic ca,hartics are found
In that peerless remedy, Samaritan NsrrHe.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

THEY say dogs can't reason, lut no one
will doubt that dog tries to reach q con.
clusion when he chases his tail.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar
Cures coughs and colds. Pixies toothache
drops cure in one minnie.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

A MAN may be smoker, and yet lis dear
little wife may not allow him to smoke her.
Boston Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

PIso'S CURE for Consumption does ne;
dry up cough; it removes the cause.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

EVERY cloud has silver lining; but it
is not so with solid silver water pitchers.
They are nickel pla.ed.-N. Q. Picdyune
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

FEEL very much out of place." il
what the Yonke $ man said when he lost
good position. YoRkers .Statssman.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

The Smith family occupies fifteen
closely printed pages of the London Di-
rectory this year.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

WHY are very young dudes like very
new wheat? Both are too green to thrash.
-Chicd0o Times,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

Rough on Coughs, l5c., at Druggists Com
plete cure Coughs, Hoarseness, Sore Throat
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

"BKowN's BRONCHIAL TRoCHEs" are
widely known as an admirable remedy for
Hcarscness, Coughs and Throat
troubles. Sold only in bores. % cts.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

Mother Swans Worm Syrup" for fc,
erishness, worms. constipatio i.tasteltsS. ,,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

DR.. WILLIAMS Indian Pile Ointment.
Warranted to cure any case OF blind, bleed
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

WHEN q man declares his love in deeity'
drawn breathing, young lady, put it down
as only a sighed show.-Philadeiphi Press.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

BECAUSE church bells sometimes have
wedding rings, it does not follow that they
are married.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

CATTLE are dumb beasts, but by getting
together in large numbers they make
themselves herd.-N y Graphic.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15
Farmers Folly.

"FAILURE in the yarn ira le"-Writing
some unsuccessful novels.-Punch.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

"Rough on Corns." 15c. Ask for it. Com
plete cure, hard or soft corns, warts, bunions.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

Buchu-paiba." Quick, complete cure, all
annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseases, 81.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

A MISS. ALILANcE-A Young ladies' de-
batting society.--Chicag0 Tribune.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

WOULD not be without Redding's Russia
Salve lis theverdict of allwho use il. Priceo5c.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

FROM Boulder, Col. Miss n. Wilder. writes:
I" Samaritan Nerruis cured me of epilepsy"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

LIGHT is gradually breaking-me," re-
market the man when he paid a gas-bill
twice as large as usual.-DetfOit Post.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

Skinny Men. wells Health Remover" re-
stores health and vigor, cures Dyspepsia, 81.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

Mr.. Isaac Allerton,
John Alden.
John A uerton,
Mr.. VIII. Bradford
Mr.. viii am Brewster
John Burlington,
Pet r Brown. -
Kichar ! lsr.tterage.
MIR. John Carver,
Francis Cook.
james c iiiton.
John C.acks'on,
Richari I larke.
Edward Doteg.
Francis Eat IN.
Thomas Engli, h
Mr.. Samuel Fuller,
Edward Fuller.
Nos s Flet"h her.
,'ohn Goodman.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

Richard Gardiner,
John Rowland,
Mr.. Stephen Hopkins
Edward Lester.
Mr.. Chi Mar in.
Mr.. William Mullins,
Edmund Margeson,
iDegony Priest,
Thomas Rogers,
John Ri2diIe.
Cap. Niles StantliSh,
lGco.gc Soule,
Edward Tilly,
John lilly.
Thomas Tinker,
Rhn Turner.
Mr.. Edward Winslow.
Mr.. William White
Mr.. Richard Warren
Thomas Williams,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

The experience I'm the treatment Of Cancer wfA
Swffs Specific IS 5. 81 would seem to warrant rs IN
saying that IL will this much dreaded scourDe.
Persons afflicted invited correspond with u.s.
believe Swift's Specific has saved my life. had
virtually lost use of the UPPER fart OF my body and my
arms from the poisonous effects Of large cancer on
neck, from which had suffered for twenty years.
s 8 s. has relieved me of all soreness and the poison
Is being forced OUT Of ysten- VIII soon be veil
". u. RoBIsoN. Davisboro. Ga.
Two months ago my attention was called to the case
of a woman afflicted with cancer On her shoulder AZ
least five inc-s In circumference angry, painful nno
giving the patient rest day or night for SIX months
obtained su-ply of Swfft's SDecihc for her. She
taken I'VE bottles. and the ulcer IL entirely caed
np only very small scab remaining. and her health IL
better than for i've past. seems TO De perfect
cured REV. JESSE H. CAMPBELL, Columbus, Ga
Treatise on Blood and ski. Diseases mailed free.
New YORK Once l5s West I'd ST.. bef. 9Th and 9TH Avs
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15
CONSUMPTION.

have positive remedy the ABOVE III
thousands Of of the worst nd and OF long
standing have been cured Indeed 50 strong L. faith
efficacy that will send TWO BOTTLES FREE to-
eether with VALUABLE TREATISE on this disease, to
any sufferer. Give Express AMI p. q. address.
DR. 7. A. SLoCUx. Isl PeariSt, New York.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-03-15

the Old wall at bound and was on the
moonlit road, walking at rafting good
pace towards town. that recalled it.
From state of intense cold had
changed to burning heat. The touch
of those soft fingers thrilled ME through
rs with an electric shock, and | walked
faster still in my excitement. Gradually
the consciousness forced itself upon me
that held something in my clenched
hands. There was first glitter and
then a sparkle, as the moonlight fell
into the hollow of my appraised hand.
and l saw there glittering ring set
with flashing stones. The icicles began
slipping down my back again, and
hurried on.
Some persons may be inclined to de-
ride my nervousness on this occasion.
but | assure such that am not natural
" timid man. l have q medal hang
ing in my room at home which asserts
that am not timid man. and above
all had always been particularly void
of superstitious fear; but truth compels
me to say that not only lighted all the
lights on reaching my room at the little
inn that night but turned them very
b Oh into the bargain; and that made
a systematic inspection Of all the clos
cts and removed from its peg long
cloak that was hanging in a very sug-
gestive position on the wall. This done,
/ sat down-with my back against the
wall--and examined the ring.
1t was quaint old ring, curiously
carved and massive. The setting was
composed of several small colored
stones set in circle about large dia-
mond. My financial circumstances had
rendered it unnecessary for me to ac-
quaint myself with precious stones and
their values. so that l could only sur
mise that the ring was somewhat valua-
bic. Considering the exciting condition
Of my nerves by this time, it was not
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09
BIT OR MISS,

The dear little Misses we meet with in life
What hopes and what fears they awaken;
Fer when man chooses Miss for wife
He may be Miss-led or Miss taken.
When | courted Miss Kid and Sc ured the kiss
l thought, in the warmth of my passion,
That I'd made great Hit in thus gaining Miss
But twas only Miss calculation.
Fer so many Misses surrounded Miss Kid,
With me and my love interfering,
jealous hiss-trust put it into her head
That she ought not to give me hearing
Then certain Miss chance that met with one day
Almost sent my hopes TO destruction,
For she felt a suspicion Of what ! would say
All owing TO one Miss construction.
Deceived by one INSTRUMENTATION l wrote,
The cause OF her anger demanding
hiss-direction prevented her getting the note,
And introduced Miss understanding
When TO make her my wife l eXultingly swoIe,
Miss belief made her doubt my intention,
And nearly got wed to Misfortune before
could wean her from Miss-apprehenson.
But when she no longer would yield TO Miss doubt,
Nor be led by Misrepresentation.
She had with Mss-like a most serious fall out,
And to wed felt no more hesitation.
Bat when to the church to be married we went
stake made the parson to lnger,
And got so annoyed by an awkward Miss-fit,
That put the ring OF the wrong finger.
Having been so Miss-ussd, kept a strict watch
For still felt fear of MISLEADING
And found, when too late unlucky Miss match
1nterfered with the joys OF our wedding.
Miss rule in our dwelling put everything wrong,
Mlss-management there took her station,
TIL my cash, like the time taken reading this song
Was all wasted by ss-application.
IF. G. OttarsOn in The Century.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09
RULES OF ETIQUETTE.

Etiquette has laid down several rules
about eating particular kinds of food, and
here are the latest regulations :"
Soup, for instance, should be called for
only once, and eaten from the side of a
spoon. If oyster crackers are passed with
the soup, place them at the left aide of
your plate on the table. cloth, and hold one
in your left hand as you eat. But if bread
is served, break off piece as you wish it
with the left hand. Both the bread and
crackers should be zen without butter
A little said in regard to the position at
table may not be amiss. Never eat loung-
ing back in your chair though, while the
different courses are being removed, it IL
entirely allowable to sit back in the chair
The elbows should not, at any time, be
allowed to rest on the table. Convey the
food the entire distance to the mouth.
Some people have a ludicrous habit of
opening their mouth the moment they
raise the food from their plate and when
the food is within several inches of its DIES.
tination, their head suddenly comes for
ward with jerk and the food is snatched
from sight. Quick motions and gestures
are seldom graceful, and never so at table.
Then is the time most assuredly to " let
your moderation be known to all men )"
moderation in movement as well as in eat
ing and drinking.
Be always attentive to the wants of
others and see that your neighbor is pro-
vided with whatever he may need within
your reach. Remember the golden rule
can be applied precisely as well during the
meal time as in our intercourse with our fell
low beings.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09

Mosque OF ST. SOPHIA-I shalt not
venture upon description of the mosques
in Constantinople. Some of them are de-
void of interest. St. Sophia surprises and
delights the visitor What Christian
church has seen so ny years, and sur
vived time and change? The richness of
its pillars and walls, and the dignity and
vastness of its proport ms, are most i'm
pressive. One is lost in wonder as he looks.
His movements are impeded by the clumsy
slippers which he pushes over the mating
which covers the floor and turns its slant.
is delighted. He grieves to find that all is
not mosaic which seems so in the
domes above him, but he ad.
mires what is real. The deeper pain
comes when he gees through Turkish paint
the figure of Christ when the Greeks
worshiped, and marks that the transverse
bar has been wrested from the iron cross
upon the door He sees the print of the
corqueror's red hand upon the wall, and
prays that the Greek may return and cover
from sight that bloody mark, and bring the
Christ again before the reverent eyes of
men. Bat with all these thoughts he
shufiles his way in wonder over the
floor, and lets his admiring eye wander
from dome to dome and pillar to pillar.
He does not believe in the healing which
men seek through the hole in the pillar of
Helena, nor does he desire to prostrat ;
himself like the men about him. But he
believes in the Truth in whose faith the
church was built, and longs to see it once
more the house of prayer Cor. Christian
Union.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09
frank Leslie's Sunday Magazine

WHALE HUETING-Three whsle-bosss
left Dundee yesterday in pursuit of whale
which had come up the river Tay to feed
on herrings. After an exciting chase one
of the boats succeeded in lodging har-
poon in the whale, which dashed the water
with its tail and swan away rapidly. a
second harpoon was fixed, and the whale
then made for the sea, towing the three
boats. A telegram late last night states
chat the three boats were still at the
mouth of the river, and were not ex-
pected back with their prize until
this morning. The whale has three
harpoons in its body, and the lines
have been made fast to a tug-boat. 1t
still showed great vitality, although first
struck at ii o'clock in the forenoon, and
actually towed the tug boat. A launch
came back to Dundee last evening to OBJ.
tain rockets with which to kill it.-[Lon-
don News
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09

How New ORLEANS WAS TAKEN. The
lste Admiral Bailey, who was dined in
New York city after the capture OF New
Orleans, explained the battle as follows ::
Mr.. President and Gentlemen-hem,
thank ye." And then, after a long pause ::
well, suppose you want to hear about
that New Orleans affair ?" yes yes !"
echoed through the hall, "Well, dye
see, this was the way of it, " resumed the
orator, hitching up his trousers. We
were lying down the river below the forts,
and Farragut he-he signaled for us to go
in and take 'em. Being as we were al
ready hove short, it didn't take much time
to get under way, so that wasn't so much
of Job as you seem to think and then
the engineers run the ships, SO that all we
had to do was to blaze away when we got
up to the forts, and take 'em, according to
orders That's just all there was about
it. And the concise narrator, feeling that
he accomplished everything demanded
of him, sat down in the midst of thunders
of applause.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09
PIoUS FRAUDS.

Early Christian forgeries were pious.
We have the apocryphal Gospel and the
works of Dionysius, the Areopagite, which
were not exposed till Erasmus time. Per-
haps the most important of pious forgeries
tif forgery may be exactly the right word
in this easel was that of 1.-THE False De-
cretals." son sudden, says Milman,
Speaking of the pontiticate OF Nicholas Z,
lob. SCI A. D. "of sudden was pronul-
gated, unannounced, without preparation,
not absolutely unquestioned, but appa-
rently overawing at once all doubt, new
code. which to the former authentic docu-
ments added 80 letters and DEGREES of the
20 oldest Popes from Clement to Melchi-
AIDES, and the donation of Constantine, and
in the third part, among the DEGREES OF the
Popes and of the Councils from Sylvester to
Gregory II, 80 false DEGREES. and the
acts of several authentic Councils.
"The whole is composed" Milman adds,
with an air of profound piety ahd
reverence" The False Decretals nstu-
rally assert the supremacy of the
Bishop of Rome. They are full
and minute on church property.
they were sure to be that y in fact,
they remind one OF another forgery, pious
and Aryan, "The Institutes of Vishnu."
" Let him not levy any tax upon Brsh-
MANS" says the Brahman forger OF the in
stitutes, which came from the mouths OF
Vishnu," as he sat clad in a yellow robe,
imperturbable, decorated with all kinds
of gems, while Lakshmi was stroking MS
feet with her soft palms" The Institutes
took excellent care of Brahmans and COWS,
as the Dscretals did of the Pope and the
clergy, and the earliest Popes had about as
much hand in the Decretals as Vishnu had
in his Institutes. Hommenay, in 'Panta.
Cruel" did well to have the praise of the
Decretals sung by files bellies, biondelettes.
doulcettes ct de bonnie grace. And then
Hommenay drank to the Decretals and
their very good health. 80 dives Deere.
tales, tant par vous eat lie vim bon bon
trouve y" Oh divine Decretals, how good
you make good wine taste p The
miracle would be greater" said Pan
tagruel, "if they had made bad
wine taste good" The most that
can now be done by the devout for the
Decretals is " to palliate the guilt OF their
forger," whose name, like that of the
Greek Macpherson is unknown. Il the
early Christian centuries and the Middle
Ages were chiefly occupied with pious
frauds, with forgeries of gospels epistles
and decretals, the impostors of the Renais-
ssnce were busy with classical limitations.
After the Turks took Constantinople, when
the learned Greeks were scattered all over
southern Europe, when many genuine
classical manuscripts were recovered by
the zeal of scholars, when the plays of
Menander were seen once and then lost
forever, it was natural that literary forg-
cry should thrive. Il The Contemporary
Review,
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09

New STANDARD OF SALARY One of
the stockholders of new Western rail
road was a farmer who had accumulated
his money by hard toll, and when he had
put in an appearance at the meeting to
elect Board of Directors he felt it his
duty to remark Gentlemen, as l under
stand this thing we elect the Board and
the Board elects the officers" Some one
said that he was right, and he continued ;
81 don't go a cent on high salaries, and l
want that understood. l am in favor of
paying our President good living salary,
and no more" How much do you call a
good living salary" asked one of the
crowd. "Well, 50 a day is the 60
ing wages, but" Here the meeting
began to roar, and it was two or three
minutes before the orator had chance to
conclude But of course we want man
who can handle freight, keep books and
lick anybody who won't pay fare, and so
shall not object to 81 80 day"
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09

WHY He FELT MEAN.-N l ever 90
into a new locality again | will study up
my geography better than l did this time,
for my ignorance got me into most I'M
comfortable position. As the boat neared
Sanford l was standing with others or the
deck, when a very pretty young lady came
up to me and, with sweet smile on her
face, looked up into mine with pair of
lovely eyes and said " Are you going to
kiss me, sir? p If some one had offered to
lend me $40 conld not have been more
surprised, and hardly knowing what TO
say, in order to gain a little time, gasped
out Pardon, mics, what did you ask ;"
felt that che knew l heard her, but she
said sweetly Are you going to kiss me
tonight" There was no misunderstsnd-
ing her this time. l heard her, and so did
others. and l felt the blood rushing into
my face, and | stammered out 81 would
like to accommodate You, miss, l would
truly, but l have wife and thirteen chill
dren on board with me, and if my wife
should see me kissing you - " kissing
me. you hateful old thing. who asked you
to kiss me- You did" yelled "you
asked me twice !" lyon old fool, l asked
you if you were going to Kissime-Kissime
City-to.night don't you know snything?"
and off she went, and if anybody ever felt
meaner than did would like to exchange
photographs with him From a Florida
Letter.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-02-09
d" GOING UP HEAD.



The low schooI-house stood in a green Wabash wood
Lookin' out on long levels of corn like sea
A little og-house hard benches, and We,
Big bare-footed boys and rough 'uns, We stood
In the line with the gals and tried to get head
At spellin each day when the lessons was said.
But one, Bally Dean, tall, bony and green
As green in the milk, stood fast at the foot
Stood day after day, as if he'd been put
soldier on guard there did poor Bally Dean.
And stupid God made him so stupid l doubt
But guess God who made US knows what he is
about
He'd long way to walk. But he wouldn't once
talk
OF that, nor the chores for his mother who lay
A shakin' at home Still, day after day
he stood at the foot till the class gan to mock
Then to master he plead 20 on I'd like to 20 head"
Now it wasn't 50 much, but the way it was said
Then the war struck the land Why the barefooted
band
1t Just nailed up that door; and the very next day.
With master for Cap'en, went marchin' away;
And Bally the butt Of the whole Wabash band.
But he bore with it all, yet once firmly sad,
4" When get back home, I'm goin' up head y
Oh, that schoolhouse that stood in the wild Wabash
The rank weeds were CROWN like ghosts through
the floor.
The squirrels hulled nuts on the sill of the door.
And the gals stood in groups scrapin' lint where
And we boys How we sighed how we sickened
and died
For the days that had been for place at their side
Then one feyer-crazed and his better sense dazed
And dulled with heart-sickness all duty forgot;
Deserted was taken, condemned to be shot
Aud Bally Dean gusrdin' his comrade half crazed,
SLOW paced up and down while he slept where he
lay
In the tent vatin death at the first flush Of day
And Bally Dean thought OF the boy to be shot
OF the fair girl he loved ia the woods far away;
OF the true love that grew like red rose of May
Aud he stopped where he stood, and he thought and
he thought
Then a sudden star fell, shootin on overhead.
And he knew that his mother OeckOn'd on to the
dead.
Aud he said what nave 1: Though l live though I
Who shall care for me now: Then the dull,
muffed drum
Struck his rar and he knew that the master had
come
With the squad. And he passed in the tent with
sigh,
And the doomed lad crept forth, and the drowsy
squad led
With low trailin guns to the march Of the dead.
Then with face turned away tow'rd a dim streak of
day,
And his voice full of tears the poor bowed master
said,
AS he fell on his knees and uncovered his head
Come, boys, it IS 5 hOol time, let US all pray
And we prayed Aud the lad by the coffin alone
Was fearless was silent, w1s still a. stone.
" In line master said, and he stood at the head
But he couldn't speak now. So he drew out his
sword
Aud dropped the point low for the last fatal word.
Then the rifles rang out, AMI soldier fell dead
Toe master sprang forward. Great heaven" he
IT'S BaIly, poor Bally, and he's gone up head 90 |
joaquin Miller.