The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1884-04-02
MULKITTLE'S SERMON.
A DARK DAY FOR A GOOD CLERGYMAN.
How Rev. Mr.. Muilcittie's Ungodly Brother
Put up job on the Divine and Com
PEELED him TO Speak of For
bidden Things.
[Arkansaw Trayeler.l


Last Sunday, just as Mr.. Mulkittle reach
ed his church, where he was to deliver his
sermon on "Lack of True Soul Among the
Ancient Romans" he found, to his great
annoyance that he had forgotten his man
uscript. He called his son, who had ac.
companied him and told him to hurry
home, go to the Library, look into the top
left-hand corner pigeon.hole and bring him
bunch of papers tied with a shoe string.
The little fellow, pleased with commits
sion Of such Importance, ran home. Just
as he was entering the gate, his Uncle
Henry, reckless reprobate, stopped him
and asked:
"Where are you going in such a hurry,
Willie2"
The boy explained his errand, when the
reprobate said:
~ took that sermon out of the pigeon
hole this morning after your father left,
got 1t. pve got It up stairs, and IL you'll
wait till go up, I'll bring it down."
The boy would wait, and Uncle Henry
went into the house. Pretty soon, he re-
turned with paper, tied as described.
The boy hurried away, and the young man
walked slowly down the street, chuckling
in a cold, cruel way.
"Reckin I'd better lay out day or two
after this" he mused. "When the old man
finds it out he'll pounce onto mo-"
When the boy arrived at the church, the
congregation, not with patience either, was
waiting for the minister to begin his dis
course. Mr.. Mulkittle seized the papers
eagerly, arose and began the prayerful and
songful prellminaries to his sermon. He
told the congregation that he would depart
| from the conventional method, in that he
wished to talk about matter Of ancient
history. He had given the subject much
study, and he hoped each person present
would observe the strictest attention.
The long delay had made him nervous
and when he united the shoe-string and
spread out the paper he exhibited an EN-
barrassment which was rather unusual
with this'self-possessed man.
"The ancients," he began "were lacking
in those pure clements of high, low, Jack
and : o game" He stopped, hardly able
to believe his eyes, but there were the
words, written above an erasure. He fdg-
eted with the manuscript a moment and
continued:
"With all Of their pretended research,
they did not know the cause Of flush, nor
did they know the value of a full on aces"
He stopped again. Old men looked at each
other and young men Uttered. The minis.
ter "bunched" his papers and strained his
eyes. "Some Of the greatest philoso-
phers," he continued, greatly embarrassed,
"were men Of learning, yet a straight flush
would have" He stopped again and rub
bed his eyes. He skipped few lines and
began again.
"Plutarch in his lives tells us Of many
men who did not know sequence from a
bob tail1
lie stopped and began to mutter.
"Herep exclaimed an old deacon, "you
are not in condition to preach to-day"
"Come down." exclaimed reformed
gambler. "The way you are sizing up
now makes me lonesome"
w-I-I don't understand this" said
Mr.. Mulkttle, stammering in his per.
plexity. "There-must be some mistake" ("
"Looks a little that way" replied the re-
formed gambler. "Come down, we can't
stand such shuttle as that"
The good man persisted in holding his
place, and attempted TO deliver the ser.
mon from memory, but in that strange
and philosophically inexplicable fascina.
ton for repeating a mistake, Mr.. Mul'
kittle spoke OF Roman flush and Gre
clans full on aces. This was much
more than too much, and the aggravated
gentleman left the house, while the con-
gregation stared at him in wonder.
"Uncle Henry got the paper for me-"
said the boy, joining his father.
"Did heW exclaimed Mr.. Mulkittle,
with a rasplng laugh that meant dry
weather for somebody.
"What are you going to do with thatP
asked the boy as his father rippod up wei
hoop pole from the gutter.
"Going to larrup a dog" replied the
minister. "Whale him till he can't howl"