The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1884-05-23
MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.

"Oh la SUI my''
Grandma Horner leaned back in the
billowy depths of her cushioned arm
chair, and clasped her hands in despair
about her aching head.
1t was Saturday afternoon, and
Grandpa Horner who was deacon of
the church, hadn't a respectable fine
shirt to his name, and tomorrow was
communion Sunday, too.
Grandma prided herself on having
his shirt-bosoms smooth and immac-
ulate, having in spite of her years and
infirmities, q regular genius for do
ing up fine shirts. But, somehow.
grandpa's stock Of that article of wear
ing apparel had get sadly run down.
and grandma had decided on Friday
that she must put new bosom in one
OF his old shirts, and then do it UP.
But, alas!
The best-laid schemes of mice and-ap0nen
Gang aft a-gley,"
and grandma awoke that mornino TO
the painful consciousness that her old
enemy, tic-douloureux-w call if
neuralgia, these days-had laid siege 10
her head and face. In vain She tried
the usual remedies (Which, in fact,
never did help her much), and half
blind with pain she crawled about her
work, doing what had to be done that
grandpa couldn't do. That fine shirt
was her greatest trouble, and now, as
she sat down and yainly tried to sew. it
was no wonder that she despairinoly
uttered the ejaculation we began with.
The door opened just then, and
grandma's daughter came in, her only
daughter, married, and living not far
of. She kept an eye to the cid peoples
needs, and, in fact, grandma had been
looking for her all day.
"Why, what's the matter, motherp''
she asked cheerily.
"Oh la, Ann it's my old tic-duller-
roo; I've been cen almost crazy with it
all day. And the worst of it is. vour
poor pa hasn't a fine shirt to his back.
and to-morrer is communion Sunday.
He's gone to preparatory Letter now,
and had to wear coarse shirt. |
charged him to keep his coat buttoned
up, but shouldn't be grain surprised
if he KEEP it wide open all the time. I
know him."
''Never mind, mother" said Mrs.
Prime, II can send him over one Of hus-
bands; / made him so many on ac-
count of his going to the Legislature
last fall that he can spare one as well as
not. I'll pick out one that thiAk will
lit father, and send it over J-night, and
he may keep it and welcome. So let
me put this work away, and do some
thing for your poor head" And the
energetic Mrs. Prime bundled the sew
ing work into the cupboard, did up her
mothers head in hop-bags till she
looked like living mummy, and made
herseH generally useful about the house,
getting things ready for Sunday.
Nlghtfall sent her home to her own
duties, but she did not sleep till she had
sent, by trusty messenger, a fine shirt
for her father to wear the next day.
Grandma received it with sigh of sat
isfaction, and laid it in his shirt drawer
ready for the morrow.
Grandpa washed and shaved himself
the next morning, and retired to the
bedroom to make his Sunday toilet. A
little later he came out in full dress. Init
without his usual placid expression.
"Queer," he said, '.that Ann should
let Prime go to Legislator with sech
shirts as this. There isn't a sign of a
bosom in it,
"You don't say sol'' and grandma
tottered up to inspect the article. Sure
enough, the cotton fabric OF the shirt
lay across grandpa's chest, with not a
bit of linen in sight There was lust a
narrow hem on each side OF the front.
graced with button-holes and the most
ordinary agate buttons.
Only this, and nothing more"
Now, Grandpa Homer was far from
being fop, but he had never worn such
q shirt as that into the 'meetin'-us'' be-
fore, and communion Sunday of all
days! 1t seemed terribly irreverent to
him.
"There must be some mistake about
it," said grandma. "Prime has better
shirts than that, I know
''Of course he has," said grandpa.
his Jealous annoyance getting the better
of him. Sam thinks cause her .hus-
band got into the Legislator nothin' s
too good for han to wear, but any old
shirt is good enough for her poor old
father. lie amt of no account!n
"0h, no! that isn't so, said grandma
"This shirt is new and good, but. ac.
cidentally, she has somehow Sent one
without BOSOM"
Zone of Primes night-shirts, prob
ably" muttered grandpa, as he put ON
his meeting hat. 1t is to be hoped that
the shirt episode did not spoil the
sanctuary services that day for Grandpa
Horner, but fear that he felt an ever
present consciousness of his unsuitable
attire, for stiff shirt-bosom was to him
an essential in church worship. A very
little thing blunts the keen edge of en-.
joyment cftentimes for us all.
Grandma was feebly poking about abe
mouse Monday morning, trying to make
herself believe that she felt better, and
had even got the unfinished shirt out of
the cupboard to see if She couldn't put
in the bosom, fully determined to say
nothing to her daughter about the shirt
she had sent over, lest it might seem
like ''looking a gift horse in the
mouth"
The door opened suddenly, and in
came Tabitha Green for pint of milk.
Iaoltha was the village seamstress and
newsmonger all in one; in fact, some
body had dubbed her the '.sewing-tele-
graph"
LA SUI! Tabitha" shrieked Grand
ma Horner. Il thought it was SO rainy
nobody would come in. and here's the
house all at skies and sevens, and I'm
right Ia my dishablesl'' This was