, 1884-06-29

IT is LAcK OF HARMONY.
"a house divided asin itself cannot stand"
said Giveadam Jones as his opinion was
c lied for. "What ais dis kentry am de
want nj harmony. We am not chen agreed
on do form OF guv'ment. We am split up
into three or four political parties, a dozen
rel. uns, half a dozen forms of society, an,
goodness knows into how many different
lands Oh nashunal queshuns. We am pulIin'
1T boat eands of n wagon STUCK in de mud. 1t
seems harmonious to me to drap into a
hatcher shop an pick out n ham an' tel the
buic erl will call an settle mex week, but lie
butcher tangs d han back on its peg an re-
marks dat he can't possibly agree on de
q~uesbun. | am in harmony wild one church;
Professor Siayback am not in harmony wild
a~nuuder, l has made up my mind dat de
Dimocratic party am called upon to save dis
kentry; Pickles S smith would see de kentry
sunk befo' he would vote anything but de
Republican ticket. l couteud dat an aristoc-
iacy will sooner or later bring about de
downfall of de United States; Whalebonc
Howker arguesd dat an aristccracy will pre-
sarve it, kase il IL wasn't preserved dar
.wuuidn't be any second-Iandnen to buy der
wo'n-out carpets l tell you, gem'ien, to pre-
carve dis kentry we must vote de Dimocratic
ticket, accept one brand of religun, patronize
De circus an fine cherry pusson SO who won't
huTrah on holidays"
LIVING 0 FAST.
ave are %ruunin' away wild de kentry," said
tie solemn voice of WaydOwn Bebe as his
namo was called. ave an libin' too fast.
Twenty vars K l was satisfied with a two
roomel cabin an 81 "A day. Now l has to
have u two-story house an IL shillins a day.
Wives who used TO go ba'rfut six days a
week to save DER shoes for the seventh now
wear 81 butes to MOP in. De pusson who
Arms $40 per week mus jist lib as good as de
one who Arms $50. Twenty ya'rs ago de
woman wild a diamond ring could boss a hull
nayburhood. Now, wher she tries to chen
boss ue sarvant sal de gal packs up her peck
of diamonds an quits de Job widout waitin'
10 collect any lestle matter like $40 back
salary. When l was a boy de man who
bought a can of oysters was suppose to have
bin l. II u legacy of SiI, 600, O0J. Nowadays
lie poo mans back yard am ldvered wild de
empty cans.
a kin see sign arter sign dat dis generashun
am speedin' along widout thought or car of
whar' it will bring up. Men who am hoein'
'taters to-day am nabohs to-morrer. Men
who used 10 believe in savin' up fur a rainy
day now scatter der casa aroun' as IL de sun
shine mus alius last. Wnar' / used to be sat
SIZED wild beau soup / now want ox-tai!, an
"a piluN aAA1 ~ $40 1he W. nos XVI ~
slow up an simmer down or dc top-rail am
gwine 10 give way an give US a drap."
BROTHER GARDNER FINISHES.
"Gem'len," said ths president after various
other members had proclaimed their opin-
ions, ait am patent to all dat de kentry has
an ailment, but we am not agreed as to de
natur' of de disease nor de remedy to be used
as a cure. III dis embarrassin' situashun 1
suggest dat we have patience an ~continer to
hope. While it seems sartin to u maj holdin
down n cracker-box in a co'ner grocery dat
de kentry won't hold together mo- dau two
days longer ouless he am 'leckted constable or
draws a prize in "a lottery, we has managed
somehow to dodge de dangers an pull frew
de nairer chanpels 1t am my opinyun dat
we kn go home an 30 To bed wiIout fear dat
we won't tiud at least hall de kcntry hanSin'
,round neah to-iborrer. We Will now dis
member" @ f