The Arizona champion., 1884-07-05
sCIss0R.lsMs.
Water meters--frogs.

"Old tOpers' like to summer at Rye Beach.
 Who goes by an "air line" takes a breezy journey.
 It is the editor who gets pointers from the lead pencil.
 There has been big rush for spring garments here of late-among the trees.
 In undressing man begins by taking off his shoes woman begins by taking off her hair.
 The sweet buy-and-buy-girls pur- chases of caramels. A straight flush-a maidens blush
 It takes a long time for a woman to get into the thirties, but when she does get there she stays. The ego.ism of some editors is ex- pressed in l2 line Columbian l and a diamond imprint Il. If every woman had to wear her last years clothes to church, the cause of religion would suffer.
 A horse is constantly urged when ridden by an Irishman, because he al- ways has Pat on his back. No Hartford lady would resent the title of fur-on-her, if she was ensconed in genuine sealskin saque.
 "There's good in everything" says Shakespeare. Where's the good in a rotten apple, Orwell, a dude?
 A Boston firm have book called the "The Disk" and funny man will prob- ably say that he discovered it.
 "Will the coming man be happer?" asks a writer. That depends a great deal upon how he treats his mother-in- law.
 The color line varies; some women rouge clear up to their ears, while others only paint over a small spot on their cheeks.
 Surely the messenger boy is the slow est being on earth and the adage, "slow as a turtle," should be superseded by "slow as a messenger boy"
 Do boys or girls make the most noise is the latest conundrum. Turn a mouse into a schoolroom and it will be settled so quick it will make your head swim.
 Umbrellas look tired They have be- come faded and worn, although carried every day. It's been q bad season for the crop and they are hardly worth talk ing,
 In Cuba the money is worth so little that it takes cart load of it to bribe Spanish official. This is not very high tribute to the soundness of the Spanish currency.
 WWe have nailed another campaign lie," wrote Democratic editor, and in less than fifteen minutes he was trying to borrow another nail to fasten his sus- penders.
 A woman in perfect health, and pos sessing luxuriant tresses, lost all her hair in one night. Next day she had her servant arrested for stealing it off the bureau.
 A compositor with a great prophetic soul, while putting into type wedding notice, instead of ''the high contracting parties" made it read "the high con tradicting parties"
 "Five cents doubled thirty times would pay the national debt.- Roches- ter Democrat. Here's the first nickle now let the process of doubling go right on.- Geneva Advertiser.
 "These are the mornings when the roses kiss the girls on the cheeks, and forget to go away" says the Tuscola Journal. Thanks for the compliment. This is the first time we have ever been called a rose.
 Drug clerk to diffident young lady "Wish to get something?" Young lady, muttering-'I really believe Ive forgotten what came for" Clerk, who catches the last words-"C "Camphol how much, please?'
 "Why didn't go to her assistance?" said the man who staid in bed while his wife laid out burglar. "Young man, Pve had number of tussels with the old gal, and 1 knew that burglar had trouble enough without my giving him any,"
 "Lizzie," remarked her lover to sweet Boston school miss, 'I saw you kissing your cousin Laura the other day Please don't do it again, that's love- l hate to see girls kissing each other" "Lor', Charley" exclaimed the fair suspect, 'I wasn't kissing her. We were only swapping chewing gum"
 Dear Hubby: Please send by money order $50. l want to get dress. Gene vieve. P. S.-I had almost forgot to send my love. Your little wiley. G. Dear Genevieve: l send you my un- dying, best love. Your husband. Charles. P. S.--I had almost forgot to say that can't send the $50. With