Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-11-10
BuLNYE's MORMON REPORTER
How He Set the Religious San Francis
cans by Their Ears.

We had to call in a printer to act as a
reporter one day, l remember. The regu-
lar reporter had started out to write up
some sBOck beer' empOriums, and when
he cot through he seemed to be so full of
his subject that he had to put himself in
the hands of his friends,
This printer was a stranger, but said he
had held a case on a Mormon paper over
in Zion. and had also done some repOrtO-
rial work there.
/ sent him around to complete the tour
of the regular reporter, whose career had
been so sadly cut short. Along in the
afternoon / had to go to Denver, and
when 1 got back was struck with the
bright originality displayed on the local
page Of the paper. This was sample OF
his religious intelligence:
''The Baptists here, we learn, have been
fortunate enough to secure the services OF
the Rev. John r. Lemon, formerly of Deer
Lodge. After foOling with water for Sc
many years, the Baptist wing of Zion
ought to duly appreciate this piOus Lemon
aid"
He really showed signs of talent as a
dismal humOrist. He seemed to take a
kind of diabOlical delight in writing up
religious matters, too. Two secular stab
bling ARRAYS in the Chinese quarter were
ignored TO give place to such church news
as this:
ssThe MethOdists will hold kind of fes-
tival and 'hOOraw' at their Rink on Sec
ond street next Friday evening for the
| benefit of the sunburned heather of be-
nighted Africa. 1t will be a grand pop
corn scuffie and mOlasses candy tOurna-
| ment to which all are invited. The funds
will be used for the purchase Of chest pro.
| tecfors to be sent to the heather of Sene.
gambia, who were not born IN a land OF
gospel light and liberty. The object is
| certainly laudable one, and whether the
committee sends the money to Africa OF
! knocks it down. as heretofore, those who
| attend the mush-and-mllk deDauch Will
no doubt have way up time.'
''The pastor of the Presbyterian Church
on North A street is a little nervous about
his salary, we learn, and has intlmated
Il to his charge that he will have to call for
additional pay or preach in a linen buster
next winter. He says some fault was
/ found last Sabbath with his sermon on
/ faith. and how a little faith, like mus.
tard plaster, will finally eleven the whole
/ lump but he claims that he did as well
as he could. He says he never could
preach a very good sermon on an empty
/ stomach, anyhow. He told a reporter
Yesterday that all he had
/ received since Christmas was
a ball of pale butter and kind word
He asked us if we knew place where he
| could trade some kind words and good
/ wishes and GOd-speeds, all in good repair
| for a chunk of liver or something that was
good to eat. Perhaps it is not the bust
ness Of a secular paper to offer advice tC
a church; but it does seem to US as
though the Presbyterians here had better
brace up or make an assignment. NJ
preacher can pound the Bible for 81 Sun
days n the year and live solely on Oul
| beautiful mountain scenery"
H. - IL
and paid him of. He was a Mormon, ]
learned afterwards. He had been in the
tithing Office at one time aud had done 81
well out Of it that he had to flee from the
Valley of the Jordan under the cover o
night and a nom de plume. He still re
tanned his strong religious prejudices
however, and always spoke harshly o