Morning journal and courier., 1884-03-03
IMPENDING.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, | but at killing time the pig always leaves the pen for the knife.-Boston Star. Diminutive dude-s'Why do you make me wait until the last dance ?'' Young lady ''Oh, to give you time to grow. Puck. ''I am martyrI" he exclaimed ssHow so ?" was the inquiry. 'I suffer at the steak 2" he cried. He was staying at 8 cheap boarding house.
 No, Adela, book-agents have not what is known as second wind. Prize fighters have ; but book agents have not They do not need it. They never lose their first wind Puck.
 A Vermont man has hen 39 years old. The other day hawk stole 1t, but after an hour came back with broken bill and three claws gone, put down the hen and took an old rubber boot in place of it-Boston Post.
 ''Do you keep Lent?'' said John, as James hurried past him in down-pour of rain, last Sunday morning on his way to church ''Ro, but my umbrella does," was Jim's reply as he saw it in Johns uplifted hand "A most excellent joke" was Johns parting salute.-Chicago Sun.
 ''The impatient fellow!" exclaimed Mrs Brace, '' he actually attempted to kiss me p Did he ?" replied her dear friend. ''How it must have frightened you You have been married several years, I believe, and, of cenrse, you have been utterly unused to such things for a long while. ."-Beston Tran script
 The New Orleans cremation society will first experiment with the bodies of paupers Such bodies will do well enough for a starter If they should complain of the inefficiency or poor draft of the furnace, the society will not feel so bad as if the fault finding came from the corpse of 8 wealthy aristocrat.- Norristown Herald.
 "How often do you present your bill to that young fellow?" said gentleman to 8 cigar-store man, whom dude told to charge him with package of cigarettes. ''Quarter ly, sir" ''What? You don't mean to say yo1 trust him for three months ?'' "Oh. no. of course not. Quarterly in this case means every time the bill lamounts to a quarter''- Merchant Traveller
 A little girl II years old was reading the Bible. Her sister two years younger sat on the floor listening. When she read about Gods creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, the younger one jumped up and exclaimed, ''that is 8 lie!" The older one looked mortified, and said, ''why mamma, did you hear what Susie said and just read it out of the bible" ''WeIl, ? said Susie, (laying down every word with her forefnger) ''now Sissy F. what is the use of telling me God made the world in six days been six weeks building barn and hasn't got it done yet. t.'-Boston Post
 PAYING THE CHURCH DEBT "Oh! husband heard such a sermon to day By dear MT. Stiggin<, who said would pay Next naboa'h the debt our church. and said he 'Whoevee subscribes-O! how happy he'll be- H And all may this glorious privilege share By naming the sum he rely spare; You just sign slip and you weekly can pay 0! can you imagine an easier way? And dear MT. Stiggins said all can afford To give -ack what oDly belongs to the Lord, Who ill repay trebie-besides if we should Just sacrifice something, we d feel the more good t'Yes wife, of that privilege al should partake sacrifice for such cause must make; l, being unEe fish, will let you, guees Feelg od-so we'll sacrifice your new silk dress" 1'Ol husband couldn't. My silk wout sufaics. Our pastor meant you would with joy sacrifice few of your pleasures. thought you'd be glad To give up your pipe al d your papers bad"
 -Norristown Herald.