National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-11-18
ROAST PIG.
Hungry Hopes Of tho Canoe Club Unfnlnllcd
At barbecue nAY.

The elegant black-coated gentlemen who
carry the contribution boxes had just passed
up the aisles to deposit their returns, aud tho
ver.voiced tenor had just lowered his eyes
from n steady contemplation Of the frescoed
ceiling, where they had been fixed for the past
ten minutes, while he had been sweetly sd
monishing the congregation to give aims of
their goods and never turn their faces from any
poverty stricken wretches, when two we'll.
dressed young mon slipped out of the back pow
Ia one Of our most fashionable churches last
Sunday and boarded the first car for George
town. Arriving there, they turned what Billy
Rice calls their "fcetsteps' toward tho river
aud stopped az the door Of n wcll.known boa {
young men, each of whom had evidently cut
short his story under the "dropplngs Of the
sanctuary" that morning In similar manner
10 themselves Some were still clad in the
customary suit Of solemn black while others
had dep lsitcd their Sunday best in the locker
room UP stairs, and wore instead apparel OF
more varied. Vi not more attractive, hue. Only
one thing had they all In common, and that
was an earnest, cXpectant and hungry look,
that betokened volumes for the coming rcpast,
for these young men hadtorn themselves irom
church 10 partake of q succulent dish that had
been promised them some two or three miles
up the river at 2 o'clock that day, and had pre-.
pared themselves In the usual way by fasting
and going to church.
Quietly cmbarking in number of small
boats they wendell their way up stream
through the arches of the poor old Aqueduot
bridge that has cost almost as much for legls-
lation az 1t did for building; past Georgetown
college, with its magnificent pile; past the, Sc.
ductive beer boat that on any other day might
have lured them to It's sido;up beyond the famed
| Three Sisters that nobody knowsanything of In
| terest about and the He'll and Chickens group
| of still less renown, until Il curling column OF
light blue smoke on the Virginia side indi
| Gated the place they long had sought. IT was
pretty sight that greeted their eyes. A pic
turesque marquee, with sanguinary looking
little red flag floating from its top stood in the
midst of a small clearing on tho river side. A
| few yards distant was the fire from which the
| curling smoke had been seen, and clustered
about II three or four men busily engaged ~
| evident preparations for the coming meal
while anchored in the river were several grace
full boats with sails set and colors flying.
But the sight which most Interested them
after they had landed was that of young
| porker about thirty inches long stretched on
the ground with the customary cob in his
mouth, and u painful of Il savory mixture
alongside with which no was to be filled. Will
appropriate ceremony his body was soon com
| mitted to the flames, or more strictly speaking
the ashes, and detailing two of their number
| to keep the fire going and watch each othel
the company dispersed to while away the
time until tho welcome sound of the festival
march, skillfuly executed with pine knot oil
the bottom OF frying pan, by the head cook
should summon them to the groaning boarc
literally one board across two logs.)
Three hours of waiting ensued, but the day
was heavenly, tho river, the air, and tn,
woods. all at their best for the time of year
and when the welcome sound came pealing OF
the air, all hands were in fine spirits and ap
petites. As o little preliminary to the mali
course the cook brought forth some soup
which was partaken OF In silence. Most of tn
party explained the matter of SO much of thei
soup remaining untasted by saying that the.
were carrying out the admonitlon conveyed Ii
the cabalistic letters r. $. V. i. p, found n
the bottom OF their invitations, l. c., reserv
sufficient vacuum for pork. But II was notice
able that when the cook proposed some of hi
celebrated unadulterated corn bread as tn
next course that the enthusiasm of the part
was not as marked as 1t had been earlier on
However, the corn bread was yanked out q
the fire, the cover removed ana u black cris
mass revealed to the eyes of the expectan
guests The corn bread was q cremated ruiz
HIST Crispin ~ yelled the cook. "Tho fire
too hot The pigl Pull out the pig quick G
he'll be burned to q cinder."
Willing hands soon scattered the fire, an
the pig was lifted to the carving table (th
board aforesaid) Every man of the compan
Is now willing TO take his oath that roast pig
the most delightfullest smelling thing he eve
smelled. But as for eating, an UNDERGONE pi
Is about the worst.
Everybody was helped, but nobody woul
eat. Then the cook took large slice, and, n
firing behind big tree, soon returned with a
empty plate, declaring It was excellent j
easily obtained second installment, and W,
about to retire to the same spot, when his lit
dog came around the tree shaking tho dirt Q
the first piece But, when he had shaken 1t
his full satisfaction, he wouldn't eat it.
Then somebody suggested roasting the do
and another suggested that roasting the coo
would be more appropriate, and as that SCENE
: the sense of the company he might have 1allt
\ victim to the Indignation OF his delud,
victims had he not in his extremity vou
teered an explanation. "The true way to roa
pig" said he, Is to burn house with a pig /
side. That's the long established Chine
!. mode, and you know what cooks the Chine
are. Find me any sort of house and L
roast this pig yet, fit for old Coniucius hin
!. self.
: As they had come for roast pig, and not f
roast cook, the company accepted his propo.
ton, and while they were securing the WOO
tor a house the sly cook got out his frying pt
and. slicing the pig, proceeded TO fry him
regular Delmonico style. The savory SINE
soon brought the company back again, an
while they RECALLED themselves on fried p
they forgave the cook, rewarded the dog, al
passed u vote of thanks TO themselves and
resolution of confidence In the--ilre. The
they embarked and dritted slowly down d
river. Exercise after such meal was not
be thought of, and when they resumed the
!, Sunday habiliments each of them took h
prayer book and, in that portion which rs
divine protection against the numerous ills
this life, wrote between the words 'plagu
d and 'pestilence pig!