davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
Two Rich Feet.

Before the Hale & Norcross fight
came on-this is tradition almost
there arrived in town dissipated
miner who had worked in the mine.
He was pretty badly down apparently,
but he went into brokers office, and
after being told to get out as tramp,
he said he thought a good deal of Hale
& Norcross and wanted to invest q
trifling sum in it. Two feet, at $175,
were bought for him. and he gave the
certificate to the broker, saying that he
was going down to Mexico prosp getting,
and he would like to leave it behind 10
be dealt with as the broker saw lit. He
was not heard of for months. Hale e.
Rorcross was up to $4,000 foot. One
morning the broker found the dilapi-
dated miner on his doorstep when he
came down to business The miner
rose and said:
'Well, I'm here. Thought I'd come
and see you. Is'pose their amt moth
ing left O. that Hale & Norcross. /
guess you must a sold it out, but I'm
down an l amt got cent. Maybe
you'd lend me four bits to get a break
fastp"
The broker looked at him and gave
him S. to 60 and get bath and a
breakfast, and presently he returned.
''Sit down and wait a minute. I'll
make up your account presently" He
left the dilapidated man on the edge
of chair. He came back with a check
and sent his clerk down to the bank
The clerk returned with a big bag of
gold. The poor devil watched the pro-
ceedings with a miserable Indifference.
The gold was all stacked upon the
counter.
''Look here I've sold your two feet
of Hale & Norcross for $4,000, and
here's your money"
The miner fell on the floor and cried
like baby. He could not read or
write, and had no idea what the market
was. He sent draft of $1,000 to his
mother. The broker bought for him
$22, 1000 worth of registered bonds. and
gave him 81. 400 in coin. which he
spent in three days. Two bunko men
brought him in drunk and tried to get
his bonds, but the broker drove them
out, and when, the man got sober he
came and had the bonds sewed in his
clothes, and was dispatched East. He
has never been heard of since.-Sdn
Francisco Chronicle.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

'.I've got cat, said lady to me
the other day, "that can read. At any
rate she knows when letter comes for
her." "a letter." l exclaimed in as
constituent ''Yes, letter, and If you
don't believe it I'll prove it to you.
Just wait minute until l direct one"
My friend left the room, and in q few
minutes returned with a sealed en-
velope, addressed. Miss Pussy, No. =,
Marlboro street, city," ..Now," said
she, I'll you will kindly post that for
me tonight and be here when the post
man comes around on his first delivery
tomorrow morning you shall see that
am telling you facts" posted the
letter as requested. and was at my
friends house promptly the next morn
ing Soon the bell rang, and shortly
afterward the servant entered with
bundle of letters, among which W as that
for Miss Pussy. Placing them near her
feline highness on the floor my friend
said, Nov, Miss Pussy, pick out your
letter" Sure enough, Pussy at once
showed an interest, and in moment
had pushed aside with her paws the
envelope addressed to her. / was about
to acknowledge my sin of incredibly
when my friend said, wait minute
She'll open it and devour the contents"
Scarcely had she said this when Miss
Pussy had torn the envelope open and
in moment was literally devouring its
Notwithstanding PHI adeiphi0 Gail.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
Manitouof pilot.
THURSDAY, MARCH 6, 1884.
An OYSTER Party.

Wilson's wife had given him COM
mission to execute, and although he
was not the purchasing member of the
firm, she thought she could trust him
to get her some oysters for Sunday din
ner.
Now DEAR" she said, 'you must,
you must withdraw your mind from
those stupid philosophical studies and
don't let the oyster man get ahead OF
you, for he'll do it if he sees the chance.
Now mind, want three pints of bulk
oysters"
'How dye sell the oysters?" said
Wilson to the Teutonic fossil who was
head clerk and proprietor of the oyster
shop.
"Vorty cends by kwart," replied
the fossil.
Gimme three pints, then"
The oysters were duly dumped into
his tin pail, and a silver dollar handed
over the counter in return. After con-
siderable mental figuring, forty cents
were handed back in change. Another
mental calculation, this time on Will
sons part.
"How's this, he exclaimed, Il want
80 cents more"
"Ye-es, 1 pellet dots so,' said the
German, scratching his head in puz-
zled way. mo; holt on. You got
dree bints, amt itP'
Yes"
well, dots vorty cents ply kwart,
und dree bints is den sixty cents; amt
dot soP''
"Why, no, of course not" said Will
son. There's four pints in a quart,
amt there? So three pints would only
be thirty cents"
mime friend, you cand blay dot
game on me. Ven l wend on der
schulz, der vos only dwo bints in
kwart."
"Why, you old fool" retorts Wilson,
81 can prove it by anybody. Here
Brown, come in here a minute. How
many pints are there in quartz"
Eight exclaimed Brown readily.
"Vots de meter NIT youPn asked the
| vender. ooh, Mr. Shonson, chust
come auf de sthore vonce und dell de
chentlemens how many bints vos in a
kwart''
There's SIX" exclaimed johnson,
''either six or four. don't just re-
member which"
"Gott grashious" exclaimed the ex-
asperated fish monger. You drinks
Dutchman vas a geese. | CLEAN de
whole sthore NIT you oud.
During the racket which followed, a
policeman entered, and upon being
| told that the oyster man was trying to
sell three pints of oysters for quart
and a half, he remarked that the new
| superintendent was down on all these
| cheatin' hucksters, and SO marched the
| German off to the calaboose, and Will
son went home triumphantly and told
his wife about the man who had tried
to sell oysters two pints to the quart
| INDIANAPOLIS Scissors.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
on.r.ct.r in Hand-sh.k,ne.

The different modes of shaking hands
will delineate human character better
than any other single act can do, and
many peculiarities of different persons
may be noted in the performance of
this social custom.
Who would expect to get handsome
donation-or any donation at sll-from
man who viii give two fingers to be
shaken, and keeps the others bent as
upon an Itching palm?"
The hand coldly held out to be shak-
en- and drawn away again as soon as it
decently msy be, indicates a cold, self
ish character, while the hand which
seeks yours cordially, and unwillingly
relinquishes its warm clasp, gives to-
ken of warm disposition, and of q
heart full of sympathy for humanity.
How much that is in the heart can
be made to express itself through the
agency of the fingers! Who, having
once experienced it, has ever forgotten
the feeling conveyed by the elegant
pressure of the hand from dying
friend, when the tongue has ceased TO
speakp
A right hearty grasp of the hand in
dicates warmth and ardor, while soft,
lax touch, without q grasp, indicates
the opposite characteristics. In the
grasp of persons with large-hearted,
generous minds, there is whole
SOUL expression most refreshing and
acceptable, to kindred spirits.
But when a man presents you with a
few cold, clammy, lifeless fingers,
feeling very much like dead fish. and
expects you to do all the shaking, it
will naturally make you think of the
hospital and other cheerful things.
Contrary to this style there is habit
among rude class of giving your hand
crushing grasp, which is often most
painful. In these cases there may be
great kindness and ''strong" affec-
ton, but it is as crude as it is hearty.
If the grasp is warm, ardent and
vigorous, SO is the disposition. If it is
cool, formal and without emotion, so
is the character. If it is magnetic and
animating, the disposition is the same.
AS we shake hands, SO we feel, so we
are.
But why do we shake hands at alp
1t is very old-fashioned way of indi-
eating friendship. We read in the
bible that Jehu said to Jonadah:
''Is thy heart right, as my heart is
with thine heart? If it be, give me
thine hand,n
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

Got, the actor, being recently in
small town in the south of France, vol
unteered for benefit for the poor His
name drew large crowds. The mayor
turned over in his prosy and pompous
mind what he could do in acknowledge
ment. He invited the actor to com
plimentary breakfast, and placed be-
fore him an egg in which ten golden
louis were concealed. Got took a
spoonful and discovering the contents,
ceased eating. The other guests, who
were in the secret, watched him attent-
lively, and the hostess inquired why he
did not finish the egg. "Madam," he
replied, Il never touch the yolk. " '.Do
you throw it awayP" she asked with as
constituent. mo, 1 always leave it
for the DOOR,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
Prepared to Support Husbands.

Where are all these handsome young
ladies going?" asked an old gentleman
of policeman in the Cooper Union re-
Gently, as be stood gazing in admira-
ton at group of dozen young wo-
men who were waiting for the elevator
to carry them up to the art and tele-
graphic schools on the upper floor OF
the building.
They are going to their classes, )"
was the answer.
why they needn't learn trade or
profession. They're too handsome, and
might easily get married." said the
stranger.
Yes, but they want to be prepared
for an emergency, said the officer.
'1f, when they do get married, they
have to support their husbands It'll well
enough for them to have a profession
of some kind to fall back upon"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
Two Beauties.
THE FAT ONE,
This is the fate of fat beauty:


This is the fate of fat beauty:
At12-Plump, fat and ruddy. Weight,
seventy pounds.
At 16-Plumper, fatter, exuberant
and a bursting bud. Weight, 120
pounds.
At pa blossom bloomed, volupt-
Gus, exuberant. Weight, 100 pounds.
At Pa full-blown Juno. Massive,
statuesque. Approaching heroic size.
Imposing. Begins to find car seats too
small. Wedges when she sits down.
Very exuberant Weight, $50 pounds.
At 30-Matronly. Imposing still, but
the finer contour of form swallowed up
slightly in adipose. Magnificent but
barrel-like
At 35-Large. Too large. Com
plexion brick red. Double chin. Short
of breath. Weight 200 pounds.
At 40-Gone. Remains of a once
magnificent woman. Vast remains.
Imposing ruins. More double chin.
Walk waddle. Sad. Weight, 220
pounds The Grdf7hlc
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

"Almost every day says the Lon
don Truth, zone reads how this land
lord has kindly returned 20 per cent.
of the half-yearly rents to his tenants,
and how another has RENTED 10 per
cent. Practical people in the country
know very well that these abatements,
on which so much ignorant eulogy is
lavished, are forced upon the land
lords, for if they insisted on extorting
the full amounts due they would lose
their tenants and find their farms
thrown upon their hands"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
Correcting a Poet.

An amateur poet who is wasting his
sweetness on the desert air of Min
nesota sends to a paper poem begin
ming:
81 met her at our trysting place,
At edge of field beside the bars,
And gazing in her pure, sweet face,
kissed her meath the cold, sweet face,
The fellow must be an idiot, or else
he don't know good goods when he
sees them. If the seraph who molds
the religious course of this paper had
done that job, his report to headquar-
tiers would have read:
81 met her at our trysting place,
At edge of field where daisy grows,
And gazing in ier pure, sweet face,
kissed her meath the cold, pale nose"
-BssY,aurcE Irib4isaA
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
THE LEAN ONE.

This is the fate of a thin beauty:
At 12-Sickly. pale and uninterest-
ing. Weight. forty pounds.
AT 16-Delicate, slender, sprightly
and graceful. Weight, eighty pounds.
At pa study for painter. 1.-the,
sinuous, Grecian in face and mold.
Weight, 100 pounds.
AT 25-Queenly in form and motion,
with peachy complexion, small, deli
cate hands and wee little feet. Weight,
120 pounds.
AT S0-Beginning to fade; veins show
on hands, cheek bones just indicated.
Weight, los pounds.
At 35-Eyes retreating; fine lines on
forehead; cheeks concave; form wiry.
Weight, ninety pounds.
AT 40-Face Ratchet shaped; nose
and chin very sharp; two holes where
the cheeks were; hands like claws;
form all gone; living skeleton.
Weight, seventy pounds.
Moral-You buys your wedding ring
and takes your choice. Philadei phia
Call.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
A little boy was asked by his mother

A little boy was asked by his mother
to 60 to the store and get some eggs.
He went, and on his return he dropped
them. His mother asked him if he had
broken any of them. He replied: "No,
but the shells came of of some. ''-Ez-
change.
In Salt Lake the sidewalks are TWEEN
ty feet wide. This, the Troy Times
thinks. is to permit mans widows to
walk abreast instead of in couples when
going to his funeral.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
AN EDITORS TROUBLE.

Theron P. Keator, Editor of Ft.
Wayne, Ind, Gazette" writes: ''For
the past five years have always used DIR.
Kings New Discovery, for coughs of
most severe character, as well as for
those of milder type. 1t never fails
to effect speedy cure. My friends to
whom / have recommended it speaks of
it in the same high terms. Having been
cured by it of every cough 1 have had
for five years, consider it the only re-
liable and sure cure for Coughs, Colds,
etc." Call OF Robinson & Hinrich's
Drug Store and get Free Trial Bottle
Large Size $1.00 2
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

1t rather annoys the woman holding
a pug dog in her lap in the street car
to hear a learned-looking gentleman
remark to friend: DO you know that
the female orang-outang at the museum
has formed strong attachment for a
small dog, and that she fondies it con-
stantly?n
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
LOOK OUT FOR YOUR HEAD.

No matter what parts it may finally at
feet, catarrh always starts in the head,
and belongs to the head. There is no
mystery about the origin of this direful
disease. 1t begins in neglected cold.
One of the kind that is 'tsure to be better
in few days" Thousands of victims
know how it is by sad experience. Ely's
Cream Balm cures colds in the head aud
catarrh in all its stages. Not snuff nor
a liquid. Applied with the finger to the
nostrils.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

WANT OF FAITH.-H Emil Fischel or
F. @ Buerstatte the druggists do not
succeed it is not for the want of faith.
They have such faith in DIR. Bosanko's
Cough and LUG Syrup as remedy for
Coughs Colds, Consumption, and Lung
affections, that they will give a bottle
free to each and every one who il in need
of a medicine of this kind. 1
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
First National Bank Of ManitOWOc

Will buy and sell Drafts on the principal cities
of the Union.
Will ny and sell Drafts on Great Britain, Ire
land, Norway, Denmark, or the Continent of En-
rope, at New York rates and in sums to suit
the purchasers. VIII sell
PASSAGE TICKETS
per Sail or Steam from and to any Portin Europe
ct New York rates.
G. C. BARNES, President
iHkRLEG LTTLING. Cashier
GEO. ID. BURNET. Assistant Cashier.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
!Aa Bas. job Printing q. !ha Pi!.! Office.

AL - for the working class. Send lOc
Hill for postage, and we will mail you
ZULU goods that will put you in the way
OF making more money in a few days than you
ever thought possible at any business Capital
not required We will start you. fou can WORK
ali the time or in spare time only. The work is
universally adapted to both sexes, young and old.
You can easily earn from 80 cents to - every
evening That all who want work may tesi the
business, we make this unparalleled offer: TO all
who are not well satisfied we will send 81 TO pay
for the trouble of writing us. Full particulars,
directions, etc, sent free Fortunes Will be aqe
by those who give their whole time To the work
Great success absolutely sure. Don't delay: start
now Address STIN ON q CO., Portland, Maine
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
RTrcKI,EN,S ARNlCA SAf,vE

BUCKLEN'S AKNICA SALVE.
The best salve ia the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter, chapped hands, chilblairs,
oorns, and all skin eruptions, and posi-
lively cures piles. 1t is guaranteed to
give perfect satisfaction or money re.
funded. Price 25c per box. For sale
by Robinson & Hinrichs. 16mar84
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
AYERS
Cherry PICTORIAL.

No other complaints are so insidious in their
attack as those affecting the throat and lungs:
none so trifed with by the majority of suffer
ers. The ordinary cough or cold. resulting
perhaps from trifing or unconscious ex-
posure, is often but the beginning of a fatal
sickness. AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL has
well proven its efficacy in forty years fight
with throat and lung diseases, and should be
taken in all cases without delay.
A Terrible Cough Cured.
I'm 1857 / took severe cold, which affected
my lungs. had terrible cough, and passed
night after night without Sleep The doctors
gave me up. 1 tried AYERS CHERRY PFC
ToRAL, which relieved my lungs, induced
sleep, and afforded me the rest necessary
for the recovery of my strength. BY the
continued use of the PICTORIAL a perma-
nent cure was effected. ! am now g. years
old, hale and hearty, and am satisfied your
CHERRY PICTORIAL saved me.
HORACE FAIRBRoTHER."
Rockingham, VT, July Is, 1882.
Group Mothers Tribute.
"While in the country last winter my little
boy, three years old, was taken i'll with Group;
il seemed as if he would die from strangu-
lation. One of the family suggested the use
of AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL, bottle of
which was always kept in the house. This
was tried in small and frequent doses, and
10 our delight i'll less than half an hour the
little patient was breathing easily. The doc
tor said that the CHERRY PICTORIAL had
saved my darlngs life. Can you wonder at
our gratitude? Sincerely yours,
Mrs. EMMA GEDNEY."
159 West 12Sth St., New York, May 16, 1852.
81 have used AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL
in my family for several years, and do not
hesitate to pronounce it the most etfectual
remedy for coughs and colds we have ever
tried. A. j. CRANE"
Lake Crystal. Mimi, March 10, 1852.
"Isutfered for eight years from Bronchitis,
and after trying many remedies with no sue
cess. | was cured by the use of AYERS CHER
RY PICTORIAL. JOSEPH WALDEN
Byhala, Miss, April 5, 1882.
Al cannot say enough in praise OF AYERS
CHERRY PICTORIAL, believing as | do that
but for its use should long since have died
from lung troubles f. BRAGDoS."
Palestine, Texas, April %, 1882.
No case of an affection of the throat or
lungs exists which cannot be greatly relieved
by the use of AYERS CHERRY PICTORIAL,
and it win ARRAYS care when the disease Is
not already beyond the controlof medicine.
PREPARED BY
Dr.J. c. Aver & Co, Lowell, Mass
Sold by all Druggists.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

CUTS AND CALLS ON HORSES
are very quickly healed by "Hinrichs
Equine Healing Lotion"
ROBINSON Il HINRICHs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT TT.

Ness. Robinson d; HinTichs:-We take
this means of attesting our high opinion
of Hinrichs' american Corn Cure Our
opinion of its value in removing Co77as
and Warts is based on the fact that we
have used it and have found that it will
do just what you claim for it. As cure
for COrsls aud Warts it is deserving of
the highest praise, and we take pleasure
in recommending it to all who are affiict-
ed, knowing that it will effect cure in
every instance.
Yours respectfully,
FL. d. SMALLEY, Justice of the Peace.
HUGH MORRISON, City Marshal.
r. d. SMART, County Judge.
G. 81. SCHMIDT, Editor Nord Wester.
FRED. HEINEMAN, City Clerk.
@. s. CANRIGHT. HENRY BURCHERDT.
A. d. SMITH. 81. KLINaHoLz, oil.
f. BRANDEIs. ROYAL SNIFFIN.
JOHN PITz. FRANK A. MILLER.
J. P. REINDL. WIN. RUNeE.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
W0RMS I'M HnRSES
LAME HORSES

will be positively expelled by the ssvorm
remedy prepared by Robinson & Hin
rirchs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
FROM The FATHER: p pleasure is both ans
a duty for me to state to you the benefit
have derived from the use of
Aver S Sarsaparilla.

Six months ago / was completely covered with
a terrible humor and scrofulous sores. The
humor caused an incessant and intolerable
itching, and the skin cracked SO as to cause
the blood to flow in many places whenever
i moved. My sutferings were great, and my
life burden. / commenced the use of the
SARsAPARILLA in April last, and have used
1t regularly since that time. My condition
began to improve at once. The sores have
all healed, and feel perfectly we'll in every
respect being now able to do good days
work, although 70 years of age. Many inquire
what has wrought such a cure in my case, and
l tell them, as l have here tried to tell you,
AYERS SARsAPARILLA. Glover, VT, Oct.
q, 1852. Yours gratefully,
HIRAM PHILLIPS"
AYERS SARsAPARILLA cures Scroflla
and all Scrofulous Complaints, Erysip-
elias, Eczema, Ringworm, Bioiches,
Sores, Boils, Tumors, and Erupti0ns of
the Skin. 1t clears the blood CT all inlpJ-
rites, aids digestion, stimulates the action of
the bowels, and thus restores vitality and
strengthens the whole system.
PREPARED by
DR.. &c. Aver & Co., Lowell, Mass.
Sold By all Druggists; 81, six bottles for IS.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

will soon be cured by the use of cur
Liuiments. ROBINSON & HINRuHs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
4 MARVELLOUS STORY
Ayers Sarsaparilla

has had in his case. / think his blood must
have contained the humor for at least ten
years but it did not show except in the form
of scrofulous sore On the wrist, until about
FIVE years ago. From few spots which ap-
peared at that time, it gradually spread so as
to cover his entire body. l assure you he was
terribly afflicted, and an object of pity, when
he began using your medicine Now, there are
few men of his age who enjoy as good health
rs he has. L could easily name fifty persons
who would testify to the facts in his case.
Yours truly, W. NJ. Phillips
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06
The Great Blood Puri fer.

Cancers Humors, Sores, Ulcers, Swellings Tn
mors, Assesses, Blood Pois ming, Catarrh, Salt
Rheum, Erysipelas, Rheumatism and all Flood
and Skin Diseases may3l
PRICE. S1.OO PER pm s BOTTLE.
n OOSE'S RED GLOVER PILLS CURE Sick
IL Headache, Dyspepsia, Indigestion and Con
stipaIion. Boxes of % pills, &c, boxes, 81
LoosE's RED CLOVER PILE REMEDY, SURE CURE,
soc. per box. For sale by all druggists, or address
j. M LOOSE 81 CO., Monroe. Michigan. Send
Tor testimonials Sold by Robinson & Hihrichs
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1884-03-06

"Castoria is so well adapted to children that
recommend it as superior to any prescription
known TO me-" r. a. ARCHER, NJ D.,
III So. oxford s., Brooklyn, NY.