davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
How He Was Cured.

It is so hazardous to startle sick peo-
pie, that as a rule no competent physi-
clan or nurse allows a patient in that
condition to be disturbed out of perfect
quiet. Exceptions to this, where the
result has been beneficial, have usually
been in the nature of comical surprises.
An English invalid, who had been con-
fined to his house for many years by
chronic rheumatism, went out one
sunny day, and endeayored to cross a
lot. While making the effort, he heard
a noise behind him, and found himself
pursued by a bull. He dropped his
crutches, ran, leaped a fence, and was
entirely cured of rheumatism. A man
who lay very i'll of q fever had an uncle
living in the house, a huge old man al
most stone-deaf, and with a tremen-
dously loud voice. He was quite eccen-
trio, too, in his ways, and he had the
habit of saying whatever came into his
mind in the plainest language.
In the critical condition of the sick
man great care was taken to exclude
| his uncle from the room, for the least
shock or excitement might prove in
stantly fatal. But one day, in the mo-
mentary absence of the nurse, the old
gentleman slipped into the chamber
and installed his peculiar frame in a
chair by the bedside.
The invalid, who was unable to speak,
opened his eyes, and turned the m wea-
rily on the stern face of the old puritan,
which seemed to him lighted up WITH
unusual interest and tenderness, and he
braced himself up to listen, not doubt.
ing that his uncle had something OF
grave import to say, something about
the settlement of his business, possibly
Or about the future life.
Up to this time the invalid had moi
been told of his critical condition, anG
one reason of excluding the old gentle,
man from the Dol was the fear that hC
would blurt out some announcement o.
the patients extreme danger, which
would be a greater shock than he could
bear.
1t was evident from his manner tina
the old gentleman had something yer,
important to say. He drew nearer tn,
bed, regarded his nephew with the ut
most seriousness, and bending down t,
, the pillow shouted IN the sick mans ear
IN a voice that made the house ring
Augustus, have you ever considered
! she advantage of being buried in a san
: iy soil?"
The absurd incongruity of the uues
! lion so oyercame the sick man that h,
I closed his eyes and fairly shook will
: laughter; and the shok gave such a fl
up to nature that he seemed to improv,
rom that moment.-Editor's Drawer
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03

FYrh-It has none Of the merits OF a carefully
uatured tariff bill. 1t is not the result or a
studic1s consideration of the interests OF our
reoule. their Investments and employments, or
81 the condition Of the public treasury. IL pro-
noses to reduce alike the duty upon every article
Of foreign import tndtscr1mlnatel and without
any examination Of its effect upon particular in
dustrie5, and wholly ignoring its necessary effect
in advancing prices abroad by the destruction or
competition at home; While nominally IT Is
under the limitations of the bill, and 1t viii be
.ound difficult, if not impracticable, Of execu-
lion. 1t is a leap in the dark.
~Sixth-That the feature Of the bill which ap-
plies ad valorem duties to most schedules az
fected by it is especially Objectionable, because
it viii greatly increase the exlstlng eVh OF unoer.
valuation and consequent frauds upon the
revenue, as well as to so complicate the rule OF
assessment of duties as to greatly embarrass
yhe administration of the law. Against the
statement of the majority as to the effect Of pro-
tective duties upon wages and
ON THE LABoRING POOR
is the statement of worknen themselves before
the committed. All unite in declaring that pro-
tective duties are essential to fair and remuner-
alive wages, and that every reduction in said
duties inevitably results IN lowering the STANG
ard of American wages. We dissent radically
rom the statement Of the majority OF the COM
mittee that the reduction of duties hghtens 9y
50 much the burdens OF taxatlon- Inc "nOne
history Of our national experience shows a con-
stantly decreasing price as the effect OF an m
crease of home competition A reductloh o5
duties which destroys our proouctlon anu
competition as inevitably results In putting
up the price demanded by our foreign rivals;
In the belief that the late tariff legislation would
remain without material change for a period OF
years, business has adjusted itself to 1t, pro
ducers have entered into contracts and gener,
ally arranged their business in character and
nature in conformity with it. All classes Of our
people relied upon its reasonable permanence
and freedom from immoderate ana radlcaI
change, so that every consideration Appeals TO
congress to let the present laws alone and permit
the business of the country to proceed without
legislative disturbance. what the country wants
most is a relief from congressional agitation.
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
Old John Browns Widow.

The Philadelphia Times publishes an
interesting interview with William
Still, the well-known colored man, who
was one of the leading spirits in the
underground railroad" movements,
regarding the widow of 0ssawatomie
Brown, who died in California recently.
Mrs. Brown was at Mr.. Stills residence
in Philadelphia when her husband was
executed. "Dec. 2, the day of the ex-
ecution," said MI. Still, "was cold and
clear, and Mrs. Brown was the first to
come down that morning. She came
down to the breakfast table calm and
collected, without a sign of a tear or OF
mental suffering. In fact, she seemed
rather cheerful and light spirited. No
reference was made during the break
fast hour to the sad event of the day,
and not until the hour set for the exc
cution did Mrs. Brown show any signs
of grief. But when the clock struck
ten she grew deathly pale, and, as she
sat with her hands folded across her
breast as if in silent prayer, tears rolled
down her marble-hued cheeks, and she
presented a picture of heroic grief that
/ can never forget. For nearly al
hour she seemed lost to all about her.
but when the first feeling of bitter
despair wore off, she said, We'll I sup
pose the law is avenged, and the people
are satisfied She then spoke of he
husband cheerfully; of his intentions, 30
his zeal, of his honesty. She had al
ways been in full sympathy with him IL
his undertakings, and had full knowl
edge of his plans"
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
Real Tragedy in a Texan Theatre.

Two men named Thompson and Fisher, who
had been drinking together, entered the San
Antonio theatre in each others company. They
met a man named Foster in the dress circle,
and some words were exchanged, bringing about
a melee, during which Thompson and Fisher
were killed and Foster wounded The circle
was quickly cleared, the occupants jumpingl1 IN
to the p~arquette below and through the side
windows into the street. No one sesms to know
who fired the first shot, or how many were en-
gagged in the shooting. After the firing, Thomp-
sons brother put in an appearance, but was
promptly arrested. The remains of the two
victims were takenin charge by a host of friends,
and obsequies have been ordered on the grand
est scale, regardless of expense. The theatre
where the affray occurred was the scene last
year of the killing, by Thompson, of Jack Har,,
ris, then proprietor of the place. Fisher and
Thompson were probably the two most desper-
ate and widely-known men in Texas, and have
each killed a fabulous number of their fellow
citizens, AT the inquest, the jury found that
the killing was justifiable, and done in self-de-
Tense. There was no recttestimony as to Who
did the shooting, but evidence went to SHOW,
that Foster one of the proprietors who refused
to shake hands with Thompson, who was drums
| and had a year before killed Fosters partner
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
A DRINK.
hospitality Extended TO h Boss OF the
S-huprane Coort.

Shupran1e Coort.
Having an imperative engagement at
Baltimore some time ago, Chief Justice
Waite of the supreme court hurried to
the Baltimore and Ohio depot at Wash
ington ten minutes before the train
started. As he was about to purchase {
ticket he discovered to his horror tina!
he had only a few pennies in his pocket.
He looked around for a friend, but lind
ing none he resolved to use desperate
measures. He filed up in the line &c
the ticket window. As he reached the
agent he smiled an awful smile across
the full width of his enormous mouth
and asked the ticket agent if he knew
him.
mo, I don't" snarled the agent
''and what is more, l don't want to
What do you want?"
81 want a ticket to Baltimore and re-
turn. 1 am the chief justice of the s
preme court. 1 have no money with
me. Tt is purely accidental. L can
give you my personal check" replied
the representative of justice.
ooh, I know you. L know all the
bloods. But that dodge won't work on
me. 1 have just had two members OF
the cabinet try to blk me out OF
tickets, and no chief justice dodge gets
me. Take your ugly mug out OF the
window and get out of the way OF peo'
pie who have money"
The chief Justice glared. He could
not fine the young man for contempt OF
court. He felt worse than II he had
been q real fraud, and he blusbed and
perspired so that the agent had his be-
lief strengthened. The chief justice
dashed out of the station to see if he
could not find some one to identify him,
He had only five minutes left. 1t was
too short a time to run to the capitol
He saw no one. Across the street there
was a saloon and an eating house. The
chief Justice made a rush for the place
but stopped at the door. Spying a pri
vate entrance he rushed in and accostec
the proprietor with the frantic inquiry
of 'Do you know me?"
eyer bet yer head 1 do, yer honor,
said a short-haired, freckled-faced mai
behind the bar; Eye are the boss of thu
shuprame coort. l see we livery day go
ing by here on the cars"
"Will you cash my check? l hav'
no time to explain" Here the iustic,
grabbed a piece Of paper and a pen up
on a desk near by, and began to writ
hurriedly.
"Shure I will. I have seer old boy
off on a tear before get out of money
Trusht me, sorr. Is it a twenty y
want? Here it is. VIII We have
drop before We run?"
But before any further explanation
could be made the chief justice ha,
grabbed the money and was runninI
across the street. In some way tn
ticket agent had learned of his blunde
during the judges absence, and was a
politeness when he saw the money. MI
Waite barely made the train, but b
has not had such a shock to his dignit
since he went upon the bench of tn
supreme court.
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
No "AbbOt Kiss" After All.
From the Kansas City Times.

From the Kansas City Times.
A few years ago there was much talk
about the abbott kiss" Now, there
is no such thing as the abbott kiss"
Ehere never was IN abbott kiss"
The form of OSCILLATION was so named by
q class of emotional or empiric paupers,
who either were constitutionally incapa-
BILE of comprehending the nature of a
true kiss, or whose experience had been
30 limited that they had not discovered
It for themselves. Consequently, when
these people beheld the practical IL
lustration of such a kiss on the stage
they were forthwith moved among
themselves and they exclaimed one to
another: Behold, this is something new
and soulful in the way of a kiss. 1t is
altogether different from the con-
ventional lip contacts, the touch-and-
go pecks, the ~resounding buses which
we have known among ourselves. Yer
lily, this deserves to be apart from
other kisses; let us designate it as the
Abbott kiss"
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
The Explosion of George Francis

George Francis Train dashes into
journalism again with a wal whoop.
After knocking enemies right and left,
and failing them under his feet, he
bursts CIT with this opinion of some
New York editors:
Venal scoundrelsl There's blood on
the face of the moonl Lizards leg and
gall of goat! Have at it, ye cursl
Out damned spot! Whangl Bangl
Wh-o-o-o-p! Miscreants all of yell
More ink -Spartan dogs, L hate vel
Roast We in deep-down gulf of fire!
Turn the rascals outl Come on, feeble
cartons, all of vel Cartons, all of vel
Carcasses ftfor hounds Goose-t1eshed,
fevered lepers and paralyzed imbeciles,
L hate yel-More inkl-Emaciated,
horned idiots, pack terriers and gliding
ghosts, avauntl Cap and knee slaves,
vapors, minute jacks, naked gulls and
dishcloth harbingers of pestilential visits
have at it !-2More inkl-Green sickness
carrion and tallow faced baggage, away
Away! Norwegian banners hout the
sky Carbuncled- backed toads, dove
feathered hogs and canvas backed he'll
lions pale before mel Turn the rascals
out!
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
The Shame of England

3 London Letter.-It does seem a
shame that q few people should W all
the land in this great country, and that
while millions can, with the greatest diff
fcultv. exc out scarcely enough to keep
them from starving, a privileged mum
Der, Tho never earned a penny in their
lives. and many of whose ancestors
never did, should berolling in affiuence!
No wonder the working classes are be
ginning to feel dissatisfied. The more
the facts are s~crutinized the greater will
the injustice appear. Tw~enty-eight
dukes in the United Kingdom possess
one hundred and ffty-eight separate es-
tates, comprising nearly four million
acres. The other members of the peer
age, four hundred and ninety-seven IN
number. hold one thousand four nun
dred and t~hirty-five separate estates,
embracing about ten million acres. Ot
thirty-three million acres in England
and Wales, more than seventeen mil
lion acres are owned by a
body of men which probably does
not exceed four thousand five hundred.
According to Hon. George Brodrlck,
warden OF MOEbOu OOll6Bt, OAlOAN1
nearly half the inclosed land of England
and Wales is owned by'about two hun-
bred and fifty persons. The largest
landed proprietor amongst the peers IS
the duke of Sutherland, who owns more
than a million acres. His rentroll, how
ever, is not as large as that of some
peers with much less property; his in
come from land amounting to only $685.
S75, while that of the Marquis of Butte,
who owns only one hundred and sixteen
thousand acres, is considerably over a
million dollars. The Duke of Buccleuch
comes second to the Duke of Suther-
land in number of acres and second to
the Marquis of Butte in size of income.
His land comprises four hundred and
ffty-nine thousand five hundred and
fifty acres, and his rent roll is about ST.
100, 600. The Duke of North-cumber-
lands rent rollranks next, being $780,
900 and next to him comes the Duke OF
Devonshire, with about $25 900 less.
The Earl of Derby and Earl Fitzwil-
liam receive rents amounting annually
to about 500, 900. Altogether there
are ten peers who each receive over
$500, 000a year from land.
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03
A Pathetic Letter.

The following letter, addressed to
the owner of one of the Gloucester YES
sells lost in the November gale, depicts
in vivid language some of the sufferings
entailed by the recent losses at sea:
SHAG HARBoR, Dec. 81, 1888.
Dear Sir-My husband, Charles Wa
bert, was lost on your vessel, and left
me with seven small children, not one
of them large enough to help me a bit.
I have a small babe In my arms, and
don't know which way to turn myself
for the best. He has left me in a suf-
fering condition. l have not any money
to buy my children a bit of bread, and
what l am going to do l do not know. l
shall have to trust in God. Ihave no
one to help me, for Mr.. Wabert has no
people in this province, and my parents
are dead. I have not afriend to help
me, only God.
Some nights 1 have put my little
children to bed without anything to
eat. 1t makes my breast ache to hear
them cry for bread, and none to give
them. If you could hear their cries for
their father, and for bread your breast
would ache too. There is no one but
God knows what we pass through this
winter. Ny eyes and breast are wet
with tears as 1 write this letter. If you
can assist me for Jul good Saviour:
sake, do it with a little money, and l
will bless you and God will bless YOUR
the days to come. l do not know as
have any more to write at present
From your friend,
Mrs. OLIVE WABERT.
Shay Harbor.
The Mineral argus., 1884-04-03


The minority report, signed by Messrs. Kel-
presented the following, among other objec-
tons to the passage of the bill:
First-It will disturb business. The discussion
Of it in committee has already done this. 1t will
unsettle values, retard incipient enterprises,
cripple those now established, impair confidence
among business men so essential to our develop
ment and prosperity, and bring no countervail-
ing benefits.
Second-It will of necessity force down the
price of labor in the United States. It will
stimulate imports, increase competition from
abroad, which can only be successfully met by
reducing the cost Of home products. We cannot
too strongly emphasize our opposition to any
legislation which ever tends to reduce our labol
to the foreign standard, either in price or condi
tion. The maintenance of a fair and adequat,
scale of wages for American workingmen is In
| despensable to their comfort, their well being
and the education of their families, is essential
to good order in our society, the stability of ou
institutions, and welfare anu progress Of on
| country.
Third-This proposed reduction will inevitabl,
increase foreign tmportations, and as a conse
quence will, as all experience teaches, inCreas
our revenues, TO which increase every interest o
the country is opposed.
Fourth-1tis wholly unnecessary, unjustifiable
and in every aspect and toevery American inter
est only hurtful. The enormou increase Of cap
ital and wealth during the last fifteen year
under the protective tariff, now forces capital t
seek employment in the development of all min
vantage and gain Of all our people, and a chang
or modification OF the system viii create sue
doubt of successful enterprises as to check the
useful tendency, and thwart the national deve
opmeht and progress, which is withou. precedeI
inthe civilized world.
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-12
DA NC. : :. ] 2 ; !!
-B- = W r =; : 7 7


We had nj one time men travelling on the Chicago y Alton
and Missouri Pacific railroads. to solicit trade for us. TINS we
We're forced to do by our Onlpetitor finding out We We're draw
ing u greater portion OF The trade that was coming Il" higgins
Vile by underseiling any and all competition in tins part OF the
country therefore. instead of meeting AS on prices BE placed
men on the road, and by these means tried to misrepresent our
business to those coming to liiggimsvnlr on trains and draw
trade to his house.
BY these means, people coming 10 iligginSvlie on trans
have almost been bored 10 death ever since. Thank God this
is Il glorious free republic, ana peupi" can aud should Ne ALLOW
ed to 90 where they please and not allow themselves TO be talk
ed i" death On tie trains, or at any Of the stations excepting
II ggimsville, SO bear in mind amy person meeting You at an!
depot but tigginsville and drumming you is paid for the same,
and if you purchase goods Of said house who employ these
drummers along the route Of the railroads, don't forget that you
viii have to pay part of this drummers hire.
In Justice TO ourselves and To keep even with OUr COmpel
tor, w shall still send men to these trains; these men Will wait
on You politely and show You where the Popular Live Progress
Slve house of The
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-12

Mr. T. W. Atkins, Girard. Kan. v,;ir..
81 never hesitate I" recommend y"ur Electric
Filters /" my customers. Ih"y give entire
satisfaction ana ara rapid Sellers EIrrirn,
Bitter, ~" The puresi and best medicine
known and will positively cure kidney and
liver complaints, purify the blood ana rrgu.
late ia" bowels. No family can afford f.. T.,
With"tit them. They Will save hundreds oI
'trlI.rs IN doctors bills every Year. Sold At
hiiy cents i h"ill" 10y u. ". e. T.Ni-, Len
,n.tuu. Mo. uiy5rovIy
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-12
PARASOLS.
Behold Wonder !! Buy!!!
we ailroW These into tEa Maei-
sIrOln.

! square Black Satin ParasOl,
trimmed with cream lace
worth ....$ 10 on for Sc ~
2 black satin and fancy More
Ptirasols. lace trimmed worth ID " i %
| black satin MORE Parasoi with
cream ribbon loops, worth. 10 - . 10
| black More and Satin Parasol
Will cream Ebbnu loops,
worth 80. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. ~ . w
. satin and More ParasO.s, silk
lined and lace trimmed, worth 20 g : 90
. Satin and Moire Rarasols. ruff
He'd and lace trimmed, worth. & 80 =" 3 to
GSurrali satin RULED rar:isols,
lined with chungeable silk.
worth = 10 - ! 20
II blach satin ;nllrd rarasois,
sill ornu and lace trimmed,
worth ....-....... .......-..--. u 90 1 80
. black satin rufled fhrasols,
siiL orna. aud Lace Trimmed,
worth -......-... .-........... , 90 1 %
: black raiin r;tiled pnrasois.
iinr,i and lrlmnI-'i worth ..... 4 30 ' 3 80
! wiu- antin coaching raras0i,
worm 800 Observation-Disclosures. . 80 - ; 80
| cai,!ii'l coaching brucai"'i
far'iol worth .......... go. 1 30 90 = -
i chan%enb!c silk couchIn. Para
SOS, worm ..-.....-....... > 80 - 20
:; black atm coaching Paraauls
WORTH - -
: cIrn!nai SATIN coac.IIn::
Itrgt-vi4 worth .... - " -
Il hiac-.. satin iineri TArasOIs worth - =" = 20
= Diack satin lined rlr.sois worth 10 " 200
= black bru"ulr iin'd rarasuls
worth .-......-... .........-. , - : -
> black tw.I-i zi!L ra;,suls
Ny.1rI, - ). l IN
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-12
\ Walking Skeleton.

Mr.. T.. 81 ringer. ul Mr"hanir~bnrg. Pa.
write: II was ntll i'ird Win liug fever and
th-"'Ss Oh lung. and reduced lun Walking
skeleton. Cot Il free trInI bottle oi I,r. hines
New Discovery for consumption, which dial
me $" much good that | bought Il dollar bol =
lie. At:rr using three bottles, found myseli
once more Il man, completely restored 10
health, with a hearty appetite. and a cain in
lc-h OF Is pounds" Call at D.. W. Il. Teyis'
drug tore and get II free trial bottle of this
Certain cure for ali lung diseases. Large bot
t'eS ~ Janoy leow
Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1884-07-12
TRANSFERS OF REAL ESTATE.

Furnished weekly to the Intelligencer by
Captain }. ID. Conner, recorder of deeds uf
Lafayette county, Mo-
Abstract Of the deeds filed in the office of
Recorder of Deeds from Saturday, june D,
To Saturday, July >, ~. d.. lSS4. Only such
rs contain covenants Of warranty contained
in list
Jas. II. Barnes to John w. Brown,
! int in lots |, .. ~, 80, and ), LIST
add to Auliyii!e ......... ........S5 900 co
Jas. Il. Graham 10 Lexington Va
Ter Company, lots : aud >, blk 60 list
add 10 Lexington. 100 90
Daniel Thomas to Frank McDan-
iel, pit of lot i, McGiri's add 10 Lex
lilSton 49, l w
T. G. Wood to f.. Winsor, W If lot
10 Woods sub division ......... 800 90
Edward Wtnsor 10 Lexington Wa
ter Company, 20 # square IN he cor
" Inf lot 10, Wood'S sub division ... 400 90
Edward Winsor to flames f.. ioEcS,
w Inf lot -, Woods sub diNi.On, eX-
cept l25 fl square 500 90
Grove Young To o. y. Jones and
S. Reel, lots 4 and 8, blk Il. McMeek-
ms add to lIigginsville -. 49,. 3,22a %
Anna c. Dicken TO Mary Il. Hill,
60 It off W side lot >. b!k l.; also Is IT
off W side lot ), blk 1, LIST add TO
Lexington. 1,300 0G
Elizabeth b. Thomas and husband
10 Samuel Harrison. lots :; and II,
blk 60, LIST add to LeXington...-.... 900 0t
Mary Hauley to WIN. Rice, iui in
estate of Martha Ish 49,. ........ 1000 OC
Robert Taylor to l.. Mayer, lots5
and C, Tayinf's add TO Lexington .... 300 Gi