The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-11-14
"Ahem.'' remarked Gilhooly.

"While was trying to recall some
of the incidents of the previous evening,
and more particularly conversation
had with Colonel Ochiltree about sup
per he once gave to the Prince of Wales
and the Prince Imperial of France,
heard a strange noise in the hall, as il
some heavy body was being dragged
across the floor. listened with bated
breath"
II can guess what you had baited
your breath with If you were out with
Tom Ochiltree," remarked Gilhooly.
"Please don't interrupt him." said
Gus De Smith. '.It's his own breath,
and he has n perfect right to bait it with
what he pleases. Go on, Plumbottle;
we want to hear about your narrow
escape"
1T was no joking matter, I assure
you," continued Plumbottle, ''for as ]
listened with bated breath, / heard q
man say: She is too heavy entoirely.
It's sorry am that,I had anything to
do wild her. and pretty soon another
voice replied: Turn her over on her
side, and may be we can lift her thin. 2"
'This is getting interesting" re-
marked Gus De Smith, leaning over.
Ibid you lave your pistol?"
81 never travel without my arms"
ing time to make my toilet, I took my
pistol and listened again, attired as
was in my short-stop clothes. The
burglars were still there, for could
hear them trying to lift the body. for
one of them said: Turn her up on her
back, Pat, and lift her up at the other
end, for she is squazing the loife out OF
me- l knew that the stout German
lady, who lived on the floor above. had
been murdered for her money, and the
burglars were removing the body to the
cellar to conceal it"
The hearers had become interested in
Plumbottle's narrative. They leaned over
towards him with protruding eyes and
open mouths. Even their drinks re-
manned untouched.
Il silently cooked my revolver and
unlocked the door. heard voice say:
Turn her over on her back and take of
her legs knew that the moment had
arrived for action. The assassins, in
order to more easily dispose of her body,
were going to dismember the fat wom-
an. Gentlemen, / tell you it was try
ing moment" and PlumbOttle paused.
Ibid you shootP'
'"Was the woman deadp"
Gentlemen" resumed Plumbottle,
81 did not shoot. The woman was not
dead, for when stepped out into the hall,
she was standing on the landing above,
watching the Irishmen bring up one of
those square pianos. One of the Irish
men, who was unscrewing the legs of
the piano, offered me dime if would
help them carry her, the piano, up the
stairs. If it had been the fat woman
instead of piano they were carrying of,
l expect l would have been murdered
in cold blood, and never have been
heard of afterwards" said Plumbottle.
II wish, then, it had been the wom-
an" said Gilhooly, with disguised
look.
"You are fraud. and no gentleman, :"
said Gus De Smith, draining his glass
and going off.
Il believe the whole thing is one Of
Colonel Ochiltree's yarns" said Muir
ply.
al would not have been deceived If
the 1rishman carrying the piano had not
referred to it as female, but that's not
my fault. How could l suppose it was
piano when they talked about turning
her over on her side and lifting her up
at the other end?"
Charge these drinks up to Mr.. Plum
bottle" said the crowd as they passed
out.-Ieras Si'tings.