Fort Worth daily gazette. (Fort Worth, Tex.) 1882-1891, 1884-06-30
TONSORIAL LAWYERS.
A New Barber.ous Departure-How 1t
is "Practised,I

81 thought you told me you were a
lawyer" said a GAZETTE scribe to a
dandiiied double-barreled dude; ~
saw you yesterday shooting flies off
customers in barber shop on Hous-
ton street. What were you trying to
give me, anyway"
You are mistaken, sir. ] said |
was an advocate and counselor; [
have no connection whatever with
the law courts.n
counselor and advocate! Do you
know the difference between con-
tingent remainder and gum stump?
Tell me the analogy between an exec
utOry devise and silk undershir 4?
You can't, recall it. Well, pull the
rule in Shelley's case on over a sub
lnna duces tecum without opening
the top button. If you are a coun-
selor and advocate give me a prize
drill to show what you can do"
II am afraid you are mistaken, sir,
and have misunderstood me; you saw
me in barber shop true enough, and
that is where wait on my clients
"Your clients? You"
BE patient moment; this is some
thing new, and If you will let me ex-
plain it you will see what / mean.
You see, in large barber shop where
thousands come and go, there is large
revenue lost by not knowing how to
save it. am the originator of this
new departure and am entitled to
whatever little merit belongs to it, and
in q pecuniary point of view it is quite
considerable l assure you"
discourse on the revenue,n urged
| the scribe. 'tfNalt mo uhat This danart
ure is, and how you season it; yearn
for knowledge"
1T is based on knowledge of hui
man nature primarily. You must
know your man in order to work him
right. Ordinarily it will dc
to enter plea ad captandum, that is q
little assumed kindness and politeness
1t usually has the effect of making a
man more liberal. This again is my
plea. a corps perdu; that is, rush
around the customer with the greatest
activity, help him to a chair, cal
loudly for a barber to wait on him and
make him think you regard him as
|, one of the great unes of the earth, and
If he only wants shave at first ht
I will submit like lamb to a haircut
shampoo and shine. If you WORK
him right you can also ring him in fol
) a bath. Let's see, thirty-tive, ten
| fifteen, you get So cents out of him
when originally he aimed to spend but
fifteen. Sometimes he has firmly
| made up his mind to have only shaw,
t and then the latent powers of tn,
/ counselor are called into reuuisitior
, and taxed, though, If do say il my
r self, they are usually successful"
: And you call the victims clients
2 while you get all you can out of them
! instead of protecting them?"
9 land why, not pray? Is that no
what Is done in law courts? Dom
5 lawyers get all they can out of thei,
Q clients without regard TO their inter
. ests? You have never been to law
s evidently
' mot often; hardly ever, in fact
I save time or two as witness In tn
: Justices court. But suppose your MAJ
: tells you that he wants no shampo
(; and orders you away sternly?'
J, ~ hen continue the case.n
: And. suppose he has no money Il
4 indulge in the luxury of bath %
= Under those circumstances woul,
y enter nolle proesqui and prepare TO
the next man."
Z. Us this method Of extortion YER
q protitable?" queried the Faberite.
i Yes; 1t doubles the receipts of a,
g Office and has tendency to max
d people better satisfied with them
9 selves. Cleanliness Is next h
l. goodness, you know, and the ma
7. who, by any means, compels or invite
n people 10 be clean ID, think, a benz
II factor To his race. Brush!n shouted
: the barber lawyer rs he made IN
Is change and the scribe left.