The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1884-11-21
THE THERMosTATic NURSE.
Caring for Babies without the Help
OF . Nurse-Maid.
rx,--

caring LOT hnphes "hknOux tne kheIp
OF . rurse-Maid.
philadelphia Times.l
An English inventor has devised and pat
ented mac chine for taking care Of babies
without the Intervention Of nurse-maid. IL
Is called tho "thermostatic nurse" 1t Is de-
scribed as an artihcially y-warmed and thor
oughly ventilated box, in which crib or
hamper with baby in 1t can be kept at an
even temperature, varying only about one
degree from the standard decided upon. All
this machinery Is described in the specifca-
ton with the usual alphabetical references
from A to z, has glass cover, permitting all
the personal watchfulness that may be de-
sired.
This machine is supposed to be accompanied
with a warranty that none Of the complaints
long made against the nurse can be truth
fully alleged against it. 1t does not carry q
baby head downward and tho body at an
angle Of forty-five degrees. 1t cannot talk
across the back yard fence with the nurse
maid next door and compare the disagreeable
points Of its own particular infant with all
others in the neighborhood. It cannot form
half dozen perambulators In solid phalanx
with danger to the life and limbs Of pedes-
trians. Neither can 1t climb to tho garret
out Of sight and hearing when II ought to be
in the children's rooms in the basement.
And, best Of all, II cannot firt with young
soldiers or policemen or with the driver Of
the grocer's cart out in the parks or at the
back door.
Everything considered, the thermostatic
nurse has many advantages over the old plan.
But from the illustrations Of the machine the
doting mothers suspicious are likely to be
aroused. It has the appearance Of one OF
those labor-saving devices which will double
the risk and worry, and require about three
or four times the usual number Of nurses
to keep it in perfect order. It il to
he apprehended that 1t viii not find universal
acceptance ever rs q relief from the old
drudgery Of watching a single nurse, especi-
ally IL some experimenting damsel should
cut Off all the air trom the sleeping babe and
smother one or two In each neighborhood. Il
Is not probable that the inventor will make
fortune out Of his machine the first year.
Jokes fn history.
tBoston Transcript
"A mule Is mule but a woman IL muller. !"
This joke is supposed to have been brought
from India by the earlier Pelasgian settlers
Of Italy. Tetrarchus Pericodinus, In his an
mails, relates that Cesar, while pausing at the
brink Of the Rubicon. In an effort to bulge q
baggage mule which had braced its fore feet
against the ruins Of a Doric temple, was ap-
preached by one OF his officers, Tedius Sem
pronius, who remarked that his wife was
even more difficult to control than the afore-
said obstinate animal Cesar, after curtly
rejoining, "Omnia Gallia est divisa In parties
tres, bade Tedius declare himself, whereupon
the latter said that while mule was mule,
yet his wife was muller. Caesar, upon hear
ing this remark, mounted his horse ard
made dash for the other bank. So passed
away the liberties Of Rome. Tedius Sem
pronius was subsequently put to death In the
first prescription after having got Off the
joke on Marc Antony. The specific charge
against him was an attempt to revive the
humor Of the Tarquins.
William Rufus was tarrying one day al
Winchester, during the summer of loss
when he was approached by his lord chan
cellor, who suggested that inasmuch as the
king was young bachelor, the ladies Of the
court naturally expected more attention thar
they had received during the preceding
reign. ..-. ...,.-..
"By St Simon the Cellarer," exclaimed
the king, "they shall never say value then
not Largess is thine, me lud, IL thou de
visest a scheme for their entertainment, for
! am busy with the cares Of state"
"Ice cream" suggested the chancellor.
"Too high," rejcined the economical king
pointing to a neighboring confectioners Sign
@$1.50 per gall"
The chancellor resigned in disgust.
When Alexander paused before the wall
Of Tyre, Delessepius, his engineer, reported
that that city was impregnable. All at
tempts TO break down the walls would be bu
waste Of time, 6nd an assault would caus,
terrible effusion Of blood. Alexander smil
ingly replied that while battering ram
might fail. goat would probably answer
@Bring up goat or the butter We had las
night; either Is strong butter" he musingly
added, The people OF Tyre, who were ON thu
walls Of their city, Immediately gotdown and
left ON the other side.