The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-08-30
4 NEW LIVER REGULATOR.

A NEW LIVER REGULATOR.
 | tPeSk's Sun5 The prohihitien hws h foua. .uill he the means sf developing som1 1strasogy on the part of aanufacturezS of beos and consuuaerA that wiu 1e infnfestinx. Xhough majority of Iowa poop1e Ue fn
 - of prohibition, a vesy rood IT gity are anxious for -somethine
 and as salooss are closed up itlfI ocessssy 10 obtain - beyesaees
 here: The people N1p desi1 ss
 up their sap0AcAs u1<k <keome11inx
 ssming I'll hzye to dspend upea ske Fdru&gisn nd gS0ce<x Tke heeseS enn, ls1nd nek{R bou1es D druegi1s, lsbolo1 . mold and she peoo1S can n1e the meaicinA k I'll not he stra11o to see: enedyNgdsgS al no dissaak daHe, ios Iow4 TT en, 1hinine q descxiptioa ef aA edici1 For lisw compiainf, she bst Livtf Regulas6r, 1" 5or instance, wie Certificates from emi1nk cifizens wh0 have been cured by h use of tlnn new medicipe, and recomnon6neipae' from doctors. The medicine vin be sot4 by al dru9gists, and none viII he eesu- inc unless the name of the Ph. Bot. Co 1" is blown in the bottle. hes6aicted people can call upon their local druggists tn iowa and .sk for a few bctfles of the liver regulator, and go home feeling that their lives have been mirsculously nved, and they will sign recommendations as to its merits, and the Ph. Best Co. can pub- llah op alv~&
 the first page, with pointers pointing to to his liver, and hundred pages of tes- timonials with yellow cover We may see millions of bottles of "Oberman's
 Kidney Cure going to Iowa, with pie tures of an Iowa man before and afier
 taking, and advertisements treating of the importance of well regulated kidneys, in order to be healthy, wealthy and wise, and an offer to refund the money if satis-
 faction is no, given. The demand for
 medicine in Iowa will make it necessary
 to put on the market :" Dr. Falk's Reuo- vating Resoivent," warranted to cure any thing, from a bald-head to a case of cholera morbus, while "Blatz Malt Ex- tract will vic with the others in curing
 people or what ails them, and Schliiz
 Pain Killer" and "Miller's Liquid Blue
 Pills, will all get in their work on the shaky organs of the Iowa people troubled with malaria or sunstroke, or chilblains, or anything that ails any man. That is what it is coming to.
 Instead of going to lunch counters and taking beer unmolested, it will have to be taken as proprietary medicine, with a revenue stamp on, and prescription from doctor. But taking beer as medi- cine will be much pleasanter than taking many of the terrible compounds that people buy at drugstores- To buy a bottle Of medicine usually is trying. The patient don't buy such medicine until he is obliged to, and thea he opens the bottle as though he wished he hadn't got to. and he pours it ou, and gags, swal- lows 1t with ~ry face, and his face keeps puckered until he has drank something to take the taste out of his mouth, and for an hour he feels as though he wanted to thump somebody. With this new medicine it will be different. The patient will buy it with a smile, open the bottle with pop like champagne, and when the liquid goes "glug, giug, giug," from the bottle to the glass, he will feel that he is already better, and when he takes his dose, not tablespoonful but mug fall, 1 he will feel his liver 30 much improved that he will look around instinctively to see if there is not some other poor fellow with crooked or ingrowing liver that he can ask up to take a dose of medicine with him. People do not ask friends to take akttle sunshin," with them when they take ordinary medicine, bu, this new remedy for indigestion, back.ache, corna. neuralgia and tight boots is going to make the sick man not only well bu, cause him to want everybody else to test its merits There will be men who are not sick, and who are no, bald headed, who well have no excuse to buy beer put up as medicine, SO some brewer will have to put up an article to prevent the hair from falling | out. No man who has . good head of hair likes to think that it is liable to fall out and leave him bald, and to take time by the forelock, they will buy . medicine that IS warranted to prevent the hair from ! coming out, or keepa man from being l struck by lightning. There are hundreds i of things that beer can be proved to be | an antidote for, such as snake bites, stone | bruises, etc, and the inventive brewers | will see that everything is covered by thesr patent medicines. and within short l time the Iowa minority which is thirsty, will have only to consult the advertising | columns of the papers and be directed ! to a drugstore, where the gentlemanly ! druggist will look solemn ss he sees some of his healthiest customers enquiring for medicine, but he wiIl hand 1t out smii- ingly, as he feels that he is saving valu- able lives. No druggis, likes to zee men dying eff when by selling a two shilling bottle of cure all he can bring them around all right and beat the undertaker | out of job, and keep the population of Iowa up to where it ought to be. The course of beer as a medicine will be watched with hinterest-perhaps it will be