St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-12-06
Ayers Cherry Pectoral

through the performance just as well as an
old actor"
''My gOoduessi doctor, you do not advise
me To get drunk, hOpel"
"Oi course not / advise YOU 10 remain
strictly sober l only mention the fact Of
drunkenness to assure you that the brandy
will know how 10 act. II viii not be sur
prised when you swallow IL, but will 90
quietly 10 work"
"And you think that brandy will cure
meil''
Taken as I direct, yes"
the Lord knows / have suffered enough.
When you 60 by the drug store wish you
would tell 'em 10 send me up quart"
The brandy came just before dinner. I'm
mediately after the meal Mrs Gadlayer went
down town on business, and the Colonel
went into the library, took a spoonful Of
brandy and LAID down on a sofa.
Il must acknowledge that feel better"
be mused. "No doubt it is a great medicine
II properly handled" He arose and stood
with one ell ow on the mantlepiece- '.How
/ have suffered from this terrible disease.
I'll take another spoonful" He measured
another spoonful. ''Ah, hah-voO-the vile
stuff What's the use of talking this wayl
act as thOuge / am afraid some terrible cal
amity will happen If am found in its pres
ence. haven't felt so well in many day.
Medicinei Well, yes" Here he turned up
the bottle, and, as the boys would term IL,
took pretty stiff drink. He walked out in
TO the garden and began a conversation with
an old negro who stood by the fence. He
was pleased to see that his irritability of tenn
per had left him, and that INSTEAD Of being
nervous and easily startled he laughed when
the dog ran against him. He went into the
house and took another drink. Then he sat
down and read a newspaper. He laughed at
a humorous article, lost his place, began
reading the cotton market report, but con
tinued to laugh, Pretty soon he took an
other drink, leaned on the mantlepiece,
crossed his legs aud unused: IF amt
cured alreadr, Satan's hog. The days of
miracles are not yet over. WHAT Miracles
Overt Well, / should say not" He took
another drink. "a man who SAYS that mira
cles are over is of the short horn stock. Mira
cles Overt Whoever heard of the likel" lie
went TO the window. Say therel" be called
to a man on a wagon, "What'lI you take
for that load Of wOoil''
''WhOa. What you sayln
''What'll you take for that load Of woodl"
''This amt wood. It's hay.
''Tnat's all right. How's the foIksl"
''Git upl'' Iashing his horses.
won't YOU stop and have drink!"
'sWhoa!"
The farmer came in aud took drink. The
colonel took one.
''Sit down." said the host
''NO; amt got time"
''Wel, have another drinkl'
'I'l jiue you"
The farmer aud the colonel drank. The
colonel laughed and the farmar, drawing the
sleeve OF his jeans coat across his mouth,
| grinned.
MY LOr' thar goes ny team" shouted
the countryman, rushing from the room.
''Whoai thar. whoa"
'I'll help you," generously exclaimed the
colonel. They rushed through the streets
| yelling whOal The colonel thought be saw
4 mad-hOle away down the street. but before
he could check his Wild career he ran into
II. When he came out he was reeking with
ooze- During his absence bis wife returned.
While he was umbling with the gate latch
she came to the door and said:
go on away from here. We haven't
anything for YOU
''Juie. don't you know mef''
''My Lord o. heavensl What on earth is
| the matterl"
.'Nothin' matter on earth Trouble is
down in the earth. Got a case knife about
youi'
''You good for nothing wretch, you got
drunk on that brandy. You ought 10 be
ashamed of yourself TO be so weak
wasn't cause was so weak love; cause
brandy was so strong. Whoopl bring in the
returus"