The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-11-11
Seuse and nn1ss,1gs.


Electric Oil, and get the genuine. DO
An ancient maiden subscribed for an
agricultural paper because she had heard
its "Notes on Husbandry" we'll spoken
OF.
"The half-dollar OF 1926 is not rare, /"
says Philadelpbia authority. Indeed,
no. Itis the bali dollar of 1884 that is
rare.
Purify your blood, tone up the sys.
lem, and regulate the digestive organs
by taking Hoods Sarsaparilla. Sold by
ali druggists.
When Clara was asked what she would
do il nice young gentlemen would ask.
her hand in marriage. she nsiveiy Re.
piled: 81 don't think I'd no."
An apothecary asserted N large
company "that sll bitter thing, were
hot" "No." repliel physician, "a bit.
ter cold day Is an exception -
1t is said that a camel can best all
other ANIMALS in a long, bot race. That
is because the camel doesn't have to
hump itself to get along fast.
There is one thing certain about In
vesting in telephone stocks. 1t is a
sound investment. IT is not, however,
equal to telegraph instrument, for that
is sounder. asI - 80
Mr. Aver, the rich grocer of Boston,
has huilt on the Back Bay section a
S250,000 pile Of granite-the First
Spiritual Temple" to be used by the
Spiriualists. heg Fl
"My name is Somerset" writes a
punster. Il am miserable bachelor l
cannot marry; for how could / prevail
on any young lady possessed of the
slightest notion OF delicacy to turn q
Somerset
A Mexican priest claims to have dis
covered key to the Aztec writings, hut
that is nothing. Wsat Nation wants
is a KEY that the average politician can
hod when he comes bone late from q
ward meeting ~ se
A correspondent asks: "Please advise
me what a. bald head denotes l find
tha. some people grow bald sooner than
Others" We have always labored %.
der, the impression bald head denoted.
an absence OF hair.
A fruit grover with twenty-five yesr's
experience comes to the conclusion that
dwsrf pears are inferior to standards.
P. T. Barnum. however, has made warf
pairs profitable. where standards would
not have begun to pay. te
An abseDt-minded teacher amused ber
class at the re.opening of school the
other day. Having carefully received
the names in the class from each mem.
ber, she said: 81 shall now call the roll,
to see il you are all present.
"Ob, l do dote on the sea-" she gnr-I
gled. "If yon only had yacht, Angus
tus, dear!" II have no yacht, Wilhel.
mina," he sighed. s'but can give you
little smack" And then it sounded as
il cork had flown out of bottle.
Scientists say 10 100000 years
there will not be drop of water on the
earth. The St. John party don't scare
worth a cent at this prediction. bat it is
to create great uneasiness in
the minds of circus lemonade venders.
Mother: "Do hurry up. R,bbie; un.
less you hurry more yon'll never he
anything OF business man when you
grow up" Robbie: 20, yes, / will, !
ma. When l gov up and 60 into bust.
ness, I'll have a lot OF clerks 10 do my
lurrying for me"
My physician said ! could not live, my
liver ont Of order, frequently vorrited
greenish mucous, skin yellow, small dry
humors On face, stomach wauId not re.
lain food. Burdock Blood Bitters cured
me. Mrs. Adelaide G'Brien,- S72 Ex-
change St, Buffalo, Il. Y.
A Scotchman, 80 goes the story stand.
ing by the family grave, said: nThere.
lie my gran father and nv gram mothar,
anil my ain father and mither, and there
lies my brilher Bob, and my puir girl,
Jennie. and there lies my wifei and;
I'm spared here III lie,y too "agG
The Digger fndians have incurred our
everlasting aDimosity by predicting an
''open winter" When the Digger In
disns promise an open winter the wealth.
er is so cold that iron hitcbing posts
split open, and there are six weeks OF
down to gro weather 10 January
"Sir," said barber to . lawyer who
was passing bis door, twill you tell me
# this is . good ten-shilllng. piece ?"
The lawyer, pronouncing the piece good,
deposited iting bis waistcoat pocket. ad-
ding. with great gravity: "If you'll let
your lad run round to ny Office, I'll send
you hack the three.and .fourpence
change"
'"Why, diln't know that young
Smith was married." exclaimed lie
insurance agent "When did the mar
riage take place 2" l don't know" was
the reply: "only short tine ago,
think" The agent went in great haste
to Mr.. Smiths Office presently returned.
81 am too late." he said, hanging up his
hat dejectedly; "the honeymoon is over
"What's the matter with your eve, old
man; somebody hit youi" Eyes. l
told Smith last night that he was no
gentleman aud he pasted me one "Did
you wipe out the insult p 81 didn't,
but | went right home and my wife
wiped Il out as we'll as she could / may
have to outerow some OF it. Good day
there comes Smith now"
i il claimed that new species OF hip
popotsmus has been discovered on
remote part OF the River Nile. This TO-
tell gence wi he received with de.
gree Of great satisfaction. Next 10 an.
other professional baseball club there
was nothing this country yesrned for
with more yearning yearnfh'ness than
new species OF hippopo:amus.-Nsf-
ristowa Herald
A young man who applied for po.
sition on the editorial staff OF a political
organ was asked IL be possessed the ne.
cessarv qualifications for the duties of
political editor, as they wished a man
who could show up the opposition can
diiates ia their true eolors. "Qlalif
cations for such position ?" said the
,o,rc r,ar u,kh t;noa of aontarnut In