The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1884-02-07
TUSSLE IN THE DARK.
What Caused a Country Parson to
Shut up His Hymn Book
and Swear.

spent several nights very quietly, but after
the fourth night he engaged board at a cheap
lodging-house.
care you ready to go up to your roomr'
asked Mr.. Mulkittle.
eyes" the conolel replied. 81 reckin I can
sleep, but l don't know. Lying around town
don't agree with me. l am used to work,
and if l had a couple of trees to chop down
think could regain some of my lost physi-
cal force"
Don't you call preaching workr asked
Brother Mulkittle.
"Well, it is work after a fashion, but it
don't loosen up the joints like splitting rails
Did you ever split rails'"
"No, and hope never shall"
81 hope you do not consider yourself above
such workr
"It's not that, Brother Clint. l don't con-
slider myself above milking a COW, but l do
not care to engage in the exercise"
"Why did you single out a COVE"
Just happened to think of q COW, that's
ALL"
Didn't somebody tell you that milk the
cows at homes"
81 have never heard of anything of the
kind"
"Then you are certain you meant no disre-
spect to me when you referred to the cow"
why, my dear sir, such an idea is pre-
posterous."
mot so preposterous as you may suppose,
sir / know town people have a disposition
to make fun of people who live in the coun-
try, and want you to understand that if
am a country preacher l amt SLOUGH.
can preach all around any man in this
town"
81 think you are over-sensitive, Brother
Clint, and are disposed to be quarresome.
This should be an occasion of great brotherly
love- and understand me when | say that
shall not be instrumental in making it other
wise. Your bed is ready, and there is lamp
in your room. Good night"
Col Clint, without replying, sought his
room. He lay on the bed and tossed awhile,
and then remorse began to seize him II
would go down and ask his pardon " he
unused, but he's gone to bed. Hello, what's
thati' and he listened. Somebody outside
quarreling with Mulkittle. I'll go down end
maui the wretch"
Just as Mr.. Mulkittle had stretched him.
self on the bed, his wife, in a great fright, ex-
claimed:
front door,
manded, who's therer
"Me," replied voice.
"Who's me."
Il don't know who you are" replied the
voice of a drunken man. "Must have been
out mighty late with the boys if you halter
ask every Teller that comes along who you
are. Who do you reckin you are anywayF
and he laughed and slapped himself.
'If you don't go away from there I'll come
out there and hurt YOU
you're the man l want to do business
with"
Il am, eh?" and Mr.. Mulkittle threw open
the door. The fellow ran away, Mr.. Null
kittle following him to the yard gate. Just
as the preacher re-entered the door, he was
confronted by the colonel. The colonI mis-
took Mulkittle for a burglar, and it flashed
across Mulkttl.s mind that the drunken
dodge had been a device to get him away
from the door so that a robber could olter.
The two men did not speak, but grappled with
each other. Mulkittle is not slow i'll "tus-
sic" and the colonel a fact proudly corded
by historians, is at home in hand to hand
encounter. There was just light enough in
the hall for the men to see each oCher,
but not enough to admit of recognition.
Selecting his opportunity with the circum-
spection of physical scientist, Mr. Mulkttle
planted a stunning blow between the eyes Of his
adversary, but ere he could follow up the ad-
vantage thus gained, the colonel, violating the
international treaty, struck Mulkittle below
the belt, shutting him up like knife. The
colonel sprang forward TO avail himself Of
the point gained but Mulkttte Strengthened
up with the colonel on the back of his neck.
Then followed a series of scramblngs with a
view to proper adjustment. Just at this time
Mrs. Mulkittle rushed into the hall with the
handle Of duster She leveled blow, she
did not know at whom, but it struck the
colonel across the ankle bone.
"Hold on!" he yelled, 81 pass. ca stand
a good deal, but when l get a Gre * ross
that bone I'm done"
"Great heavens!' exclaimed Mr. Mulkittle,
sis it your"
"Oh, no" replied the colonel in agony,
''it's not me- It's the Teller that kegs the
tollgate"
Bring light. This is very unfortunate,
/ declare"
Yes" the colonel replied "its id unfor-
tunate. don't use such expressions, as a
rule; that is, l don't swear by note, but
when man deliberately sets trap for me,
after speaking contemptuousy of my milking
cows, and then gets his wife to hop out and
whack me with a pole, then l shut up the
hymn book and swear"
"You are entirely wrong, my dear BROTH
er-"
Don't brother me. I'll take you out here
and break you against a tree. Lemme get
the balance Of my clothes and I'll leave YOU"
When he came down stairs again, Mrs
Mulkittle, seeing that her husband had failed,
attempted to effect a compromise, but he
waved her of. mo, madam, your husband
may be a good man, and may walk beside
all the still waters he can find, and loll in all
the green pastures in the neighborhood, but