The clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1883-1888, 1884-07-30
A sIARTNEr FIsHERMAN.
A Military Razor As an Inducement TO
Izaak WaIton's Gentle Sport.

Auropos Of suicide being 3 erime.
says 3 writer in the San Francisco
ATg0na.h, Ism reminded Of an anee-
dote Of Magruder, Who was IN some
sort the BIZ Eye of the army. Magru-
der looked At everything from . quiz
zical point Of view. he was an Irish
mana brilliant man-but 50 possess
Sd with the sense Of hu1or that be was
thoroughly Illogical BE used to dress
in the most eccentric manner. and was
always earring out strange theories
which he evolved from his inner con-
sciousness. When quite young officer
he whiled away the tedium Of his gar
rison life BIZ studying law under Judge
Castor. q distinguished jurist OF the
day. He was quite prond Of this fact.
and was wont often to allude TO it
One day Magruder became possessed
with the idea that fishermen did not
know how to catch haddock. He was
stationed in Maine, and he determined
to drill them to do it in q military
fashion
Discipline is the thing. thir." In
addition to his other peculiarities Ma
gruder lisped badly. Men should
catch fish like soldiers. By heaven.
thir this is true.
No one was unwise enough to dispute
it. and so Magruder went to work to
perfect his plans. Such is the force of
earnest persuasion that he succeeded
in convincing quite body Of fishermen
to 90 in with him. At 4:30 in the morn
ing Msgruder made the round of his
tents. for, in true soldier style. he had
l al -. II
he found his men asleep.
by heavens, thir, said he to the
man in the first tent, why are you not
upP"
The fisherman only turned lazily in
his cot.
Get up. tell you" said Magruder.
angrily; ''get up.
The fisherman, unused to the sweets
of discipline, only cursed aloud. Here
/ was a dilemma. '.By heavens. thir, -
said Magruder. as he afterward told the
story on himself, 81 had to do some
thing to preserve discipline. So l told
him that if he didn't get up I'd cut his
throat"
1t seems, however, that the man paid
, not the slightest attention to what he
/ considered an impotent threat.
, But, unfortunately for him, Magru-
, der was quite logical in his absurdities.
, Besides, he reasoned thus: II have
, said | would cut his throat, and BY
heaven must do itr' So thinking he
, stole up to the man. took razor and
drew it across the cuticle, intending
merely to draw blood. But the mar
moved, so that the cash was quite con.
, siderable. The sacrificial victim roared.
and a man in an adjoining tent came
. to the rescue. Magruder turned
angrily to the newcomer and said:
|, ''Tie this man up to that tree"
: He did not dare to hesitate He saw
: the blood flowing freely from his com
! panion's throat He saw Magrudel
: with razor in his hand. So the maj
was duly tied up.
: morning and go out fishing when tel
your"
: The man, now terrified and veal
= from loss of blood, yielded, and prom
: Used anything
: Take him down." said Magruder
sternly. The order was executed
4 ''Now sign this paper" And with thi
he tore leaf out of his notebook, Oh
i, which he had written confession tina
= the luekless fisherman had cut his owl
, throat in the intention of committin,
! suicide.
i "Now. thir, if you dare say anything
. about what has occurred this mornin!
i l shall produce this paper. The al
4 tempt 10 commit suicide is crime
y By heaven! j know. l have studio,
% law under Judge Gaston.n