Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-08-21
BRIGHT BITS.

Il HEAR the management of Barnum's cir
Gus has had the bearded woman arrested"
Arrested for what2" Telling bare-faced
lie.'-Rochester Post Erl1ress.
THERE is a wall in the southern part OF
China which is made entirely OF fish. And
when the American tourist gets within few
miles of il he always eXclaims: "GOsh. can't
be to-day is Friday, is it ?'-BWrlington Free
Press.
"HANNAH, what are you doing with that
We wouldn't be afther carin' for such trifie.n
''Trihe, indeed! Why, that's the material
bought to make my bathing suit of?-Bur-
AHgt0n Free Press.
4 NATION GIRL drowned herself in a we'll
because her lover took another girl to church.
1t is difficult to conceive of the form of re-
venge she would have resOrted to if he had
taken another girl into an Ice cream saloOn.-
NOrristOtCh Herald
CAPT. JOHNSOCEN. a Norwegian, is contem-
plating a trip to America IN boat twenty
two feet long. Heretofore we have enjoyed
the spectacle Of such idiots going from
America, and have hoped that the tide would
continue to flow that way.-Chicago Ne1os.
THERE are two soldiers lying beneath their
blankets, looking up at the stars in Transvaal
sky. says Jack, 'What made you 90 into the
army. TOms" 'Wen," replied Tom. Il had
no wife and loved war, Jack" "Wel," he
replied, Il had a wife and love peace, so
went. '-Britjsb Horace.
this is a very poor head of cabbage you've
given me, Mr.. Grocer" said Mrs. Yeast, while
out marketing the other morning. Take an
other one, Mrs. Yeast" replied the polite
man. holding out another one toward her;
''take another one. Two heads, you know,
are better than one. - YOnEers Statesman.
THE new Mother Hubbard
Must stay in the cupboard
In the Illinois town of MattOOn,
If It's worn in tine air
The police II be there
And the wearer be jagged mighty soon.
Nelo York Mail.
THE warmest manner IL which one Brazil
ian can introduce another into his family is,
''This is my friend; If he steal anything am
accountable for it." There is little danger Of
that style Of introduction coming Into vogue
in this country. No man could tell how soon
he would be called upon to settle up.-Lo1oeH
Citizen.
LANDLADY-'How strange! 1t is said that
the earthquake was caused by the shrinkage
of the crust of the earth. l thought the earth
was solid" BOarder-''NO. it has crust"
Landlady-"But how can anything so thick
and heavy shrink upE" Boarder-Easlly
enough. Even your pie crusts wrinkle Ut
tie when cooling. '-Phttddetphid Cdtt'
THE elephant structure at Coney Island
suggests to the LOnden Globe the following
new STYLES of architecture: Diaries in the
shape of COWS, tailOr's shop after the like
ness of a goose, bull or bear for stock
brokers' Office. ice cream stalls recognized by
their similarity TO polar bears. and paddy
bird for the Irish meeting houses, to say Moth
ing Of a cat as the typical emblem Of the lOdg-
ing house,
BANK PREsIDENT-''Ah! Hawkshaw. l am
sorry to zee you back so soon. You evidently
did not catch up with our cashier before he
reached Canada" Detective-"I found him
at Niagara Falls, and got all of the stolen
funds back" "What! the whole S40,000?'
Every cent of it, Here it is; count it."
Well, well. That's glorious. You brought
him back with you, SUPPOSED" "NO; had
no power to arrest him. because he was on the
Canadian side" The Canadian side! Then
how under the sun did you get the money!"
''Well. you see, he took a ride, and after he
paid his fare / robbed the ckman."-Phitd-
deLphia Call.
BILL NYE on PHRENOLOGY.-An erroneous
phrenolOgIst once told me that / would shine
as a reyivalist, and said that | ought to marry
a tall blonde, with a nervous, sanguinary
temperament Then he said: some dollar,
please" and said: "All right, gentle scien-
list with a tawny name, will give you the
dollar and marry the tall blonde with bank
account and bilious temperament when you
give me a chart showing how to dispose OF
brown -eved brunette with thoughtful cast of
cOuntenance who married me in an unguard-
ed moment two years ago" He looked at me
in a reprOachful kind OF way, sduck at me
with a chair in an absentminded manner, and
stole aWay.-The Eye.