St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-07-12
NUMEROUS ITEMS.

All the early martyrs were not poor. John
the Baptist was one ''sent ahead in the wild
erness." New York Graphic
New York City spends SO, 900, 900 annual
ly on churches and $1,000, 900 on amuse-
ments, which goes to show that she is having
more fun in this world than she will see in
the next.-Fort Worth Gazette.
Chicago Belle-'What are you hunting
fors'' Chicago Boy-'T want piece of
leather to cover my ball" Chicago Belle
''Well, there is one of my old shoes. Take
that Chicago Boy-'It isn't football ;,
Philadelphia Call.
correspondent writes us that the sub
Joined queries and replies recently occurred
in Sunday-school: Teacher-''How many
men have you read of by the name of Jamesl''
Seholar-stTwo.n Teacher-''What were
their names!' Scholar-''Frank and
Jesse.n
s'Hello, said the editor to the obsequious
individual who daily sauntered into the sane
tum to occupy the best chair and confscate
the exchanges. ''Why are you different
son of a gun from what ams'' II don't
know, / am sure,n grinned the visitor
Because I'm rifed and you're a smooth
bore.
A gentleman bought newspaper and ten
dered in payment piece of forty sous. The
newspaper woman: II haven't the change;
you can pay me as you pass along to-mor-
row. The gentleman: ''But suppose !
SHOULD be killed to-day9' TIE newspaper
woman: ''Oh, it wouldn't be a very great
loss !,,-Paris Wit.
''May trouble you to tell me what time
itiss' said a trim old lady at St. Nicholas
table d'hote not long ago to her vis-a-vis
ssCertainly,n said the gentleman addressed,
taking out his watch; lit is just o'clock
ssThank you,n she said, s'that's my pill
time.'' And she took one then and there
Hotel Mail.
Young Knickerbocker-"I'm sorry to tell
you, Clara, that our engagement must be
broken of. I've heard bad news' Clara
speaking excitedly)-'Engage must
be broken off Heard bad news s'Yes,
Clara; bad news. I've just learned that your
grandfather kept fish stand in Fulton Mar
ket.i
The post Office department received recent
" the following brief but comprehensive let
ter from G. N. Gregg, postmaster at Nutt,N.
NJ: 'tOur town has gone to the sweet by
and by; only one family left. / respectfully
resign my position as postmaster here. West
ward the star of mpire takes its way, and
also the postmaster.
An Austin boy kept on throwing his cap
into the air and catching it after his father
had told him to keep his hat on his head. At
ter brief, but painful interview, the parent
threw away the strap and asked: 'sNow. do
YOU know where your cap should have beene''
Eyes, sir,n sobbed the boy, rubbing himself
where he needed it most, 1T should have
been under my clothes. '-TsTas Sitting.
Little Nell-''M Mamma, what language is
this on the bill of fare!t' Mamma-ssit is
French, my DEAR Little Nell-''Can YOU
read its'' Mamma-sI can understand lit
tie of It. but not much.n Little NeIl-"Why
does the hotel man put the names in French.''
5lamma-sBecause most people can't pro-
nounce the names without making them
selves ridiculous, and they therefore order
Just as little as possible
He Was young lawyer and was delivering
his maiden speech Like most young law
yers he was fiorid, rhetorical, scattering and
windy For four weary hours he talked at
the court and the jury, until everybody felt
like lyHehing him. When he got through.
his opponent, 3 grizzled old professional.
arose. looked sweetiy at the Judge. and said:
s.Your honor, win follow the example of
nay young friend who has Just finished. and
submit the case without argument Then
ne sat down and the silence was large and OBJ
p-gsslye.