The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1884-11-15
Paragraph Fiend.
Light headed-the blonde.
Spell.Dound-the dictionary.

Light headed-the blonde,
Spell Dound--the dictionary.
Well backed up-the dromedary
A secluded spot-the ace up your sleeve
Lost at C-the hoarse sopranos notes
1t hurts nothing To drop a conversation
that is out of place.
Blaine proved dead head in the enter
prise of carrying the country.
The st. Louis Giobe- Democrat, though -
staunch Republican organ that vigorously
supported Blaine, is NOT going 10 lose Ito
fun at his expense now that he is beaten.
These are from that sheet;
FOR PRESIDENT IN 1883.
For President in 1888 Some Man Who
Hasn't Written Any Letters
. SHOULD HAVE BURNED THEN HIMSELF
Mr.. Blaine should have burned those
letters himself, instead OF asking another
fellow to do it,
CONKLING NOT \ GOBBLER.
The trouble began by Baine's dcsigna-
ton of COnkling as Il turkey goJblcr TWEEN
" years ago. We presume the returns
mean that Conkling Is not a turkey gobbier.
SHOULD HAVE TAKEN AWALk.
We believe il was Martin Van Buren,
who said he would rather walk twenty
miles than write a letter If Mr.. Blaine
had taken more walks and written fewer
letters he might have been elected.
VERDICT FOR PLAINTIFF
In re "Tell the TRUTH" vs.. Burn This
Letter. verdict for plaintiff,
COR LEFT.
Well, we followed where the white
plume waved but we seem 10 have got
left
"What are pausesy" asked the teacher
Of the primary class. Things that grow
on cats" piped the small boy at the foot,
New York spoke well, but next time she
will oblige us by speaking n little louder.
st. Loo1is RepuJIican
Revolutions do not move backward.
This sufficiently indicates that the Benny
Butte party is not "A IHtladet
phtd Press.
A boy with mustache does not feel
down in the mouth. His down is not long
enough.-Neo Orleans Picay,tne.
The man who got the last word in dis
putting with woman has advertised to
whistle for wager against locomotive.
Large ears are said to denote generosity.
We have noticed that mules generally give
away their hind legs.-San FranctSc0 Post
Some of the Florida hotels are going to
- "a I'll. 1,
the clerks stud.-Burltngton Free Press.
The Star route did not lead to the White
house. That is the reason why the Repub-
lican party did not get there.-Ut5ca Her
aid.
Among the explanations of Blaines de-
feat the following able editorial from Y
DryM should not be overlooked: zap
ffiordthj ceadhe milh nojohoffski popotf.
Blajjjne!"
A local paper says rather ambiguously,
that the Cornell freshmen class this year
will embrace twenty young women-N.
Y. Independem
A young lady who was blamed for al.
lowing her glove to be discovered in IA
young mans pocket stated that she had no
hand in it-N. y Graphic.
The country tells Mr. Blaine with EN-
phatic candor that II believes him shame
less demagogue, and an untruthful and
dishonorable politician. Mr. Blaine will
probably sue it for libel.-Chi. TimeS
Now Is the time for James c. Blaine TO
devote himself exclusively TO the second
chapter of his "Twenty Years on the Make"
and his family Preside protection libel suit
in Indiana.-N y. HraM
"Mother may 90 out to ride"
eyes, my darling daughter.
But don't come home the cOachman's bride
Unless you ieel you oughter."
Fornof of the Streator Free Press, sage
ly observes:
"The campaign liar can crawl into his
hole for another two years sleep 1t
would not be bal plan to have the hole
Dramatically sealed up, The campaign
liar of this year exceeds in venalty the
liar Of all former periods
so, now, if Fornof disappears we know
what has become of him.
Up III llie w lSCOllSlD IuIlDtI region lnt
baker, who was wont to leave Graham
bread every morning with some of his Gus
toners, suddenly ceased. Being asked the
reason why, he said the mill had stopped
What mill ~ asked the customer. "The
saw mill"
General Butler sadly sings the lines of
some long forgotten poet who said
Here meath the cypress
Crushed by high press
OF feelings lie
Too fondly trusted
In cliques that busted
And knocked me sky high.
Life.
Why?
summer roses die
,vh, do ,o willows weep
WY Wv Yankees all like pie
babies creep?