Huntsville gazette., 1884-06-07
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

NO." said a druggist, ''there is not
such an awful profit in glass of soda
water. You see, the wear and tear on
the glass amounts to something"
"A Quaker advice to his son on his
wedding day: When thee went court
ing l told thee 10 keep thy eyes wide
open. Now that thee is married l tell
thee to keep them half shut"
Little Nell-'.Why are lightning
bugs called blessings mamma?n
Mamma" 'Blessings?F 1 never heard
them called blessings" Little Nell
'.But they are in this book" Mamma
fare you surep" Little Nell-"O,
yes. Here it is: Blessings brighten as
they take their flight. Philadelphia
Cali.
Mr.. and Mrs. Buntlin were going
out to walk. wait" said Mrs. b.,
''until 20 back and get my umbrella"
at isn't going to rain, is itp' asked
Mr.. B. mot that know of. o. al
ways like to have something along with
me when I'm walking" Mr.. b. looked
bothered, but didn't seek any explana-
TONS Chicago Journal
A German has succeeded in accu-
rately photographing flash Of light
ming. In order not to be behind the
achievements of the effete monarchies
of the Old World, an American
has caught life-like photograph of
clap of thunder, and is now expert
menting on the rumble of the earth
quake NorriStoWn Herald
Astronomers tell us in their own
simple ineligible way that the gradual
lengthening of the days is due to the
''obliquity of the ecliptic to the terres-
tial horizon" This ought to set at rest
the. foolish idea that the days are
longer because the sun rises earlier and
sets later. Pittsburgh Telegraph
Metaire, the most fashionable Gem
etery in New Orleans, was q race course
few years ago. 1t then belonged to
an aristocratic club, which blackballed
the president of lottery company
when he made application for member
ship. BY way of revenge he bought the
grounds and gave them to the city for
cemetery. IN o. Times.
Il haven't got any case" said the
client, ''tnt | have money" .'How
much?" asked the lawyer. '.Fifty
thousand dollars" was the reply.
''Phew! you have got the best case
ever heard of. III see that you never
60 to prison with that sum-" said the
attorney, cheerfully, and the man
idn't-he went there .'broke CHI
cdgo Herald.
Young minds in America grasp
great truths quickly. A New York
boy who had had misunderstanding
with one of his playmates was waiting
while his mother prepared a green
shade for his eye. ''Ma," he said, 81
wish | was rich man." ..Whv. my
son?' because I'd buy pistol and
shoot Jake Bolter'' .sBut you'd be
tried for it just as much as if you were
poor man. eyes, but wouldn be
convicted just as much. Brooklyn
Eagle.
"A Buffalo janitor kicked a can Of
nitro-glycerine, and right then, for the
first time in his life, became really
active man, inaugurating proceedings
by turning a double somersaut and
knocking out hodful of mortar and
brick with the back of his head at one
end OF the room. He continued the
performance by kicking down the
stove, pulling down the chandelier and
plowing up the plaster with his nose.
When the nitro -glycerine let the old
man sit down and take a rest he looked
mournfully at the remnants of the frag-
ment OF. tin that once held the chain
lightning, and said to the doctor
"Wal, If that ANT the quickest-temper-
cdest stud ] ever saw. FA'adslpsts
FspEsHG