davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05
Sample Business Overdone.

Soap Man" Good morning, madam.
Sorry to trouble you to come to the
door. but / wanted to leave you sam
pie bar of our new patent soap. Please
try it. No charge, of course"
Madam" Certainly. l will try j,
with pleasure. l was afraid you would
not come"
Afraid I would not come? Why
YOU surely could not have been expect
ing me. for l only got the job this morn
ing
mo, was not expecting You par
t:cularlv. but was afraid no soap agent
would be here in lime"
Gin time?''
Yes, the soap sample men have
been dropping off little during the
past five years, and as my stock OF
samples was running low, was really
frightened.
"Why, what ahout:?'
lat the thought thas might actually
have to begin buyirg soap again. ~
Paiiadei piiia Call.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05
Saw His Son.

'eOh, by the way" he said, after e1-
changing salutations with New En-
gland bank presde Il saw your
son in Paris just before l sailed"
'Y-e-s!''
.'Over on bank business, pre-
sume?"
'Yes; it was connected with the
bank"
Had pleHy of money!"
''Uh, yes
..He'll return feeling like new fell
low. Tell you, such trip braces man
up"
"Yes; / know. Good morning"
wonder what ails Old Grimes, to
carry such serious face" queried the
returned tourist of friend ON the next
square.
..Oh. you don't know, of course.
His son skipped out with $50, 900 about
a month ago. and the old man has had
to make it good. Be careful to avoid
speaking of the young fellow if you
meet the old man. "-H0H Street NeDs.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

= The Secretary of the Chinese En-
bassy says there are many art cles
made by machinery in america that
would find a good market in China He
mentions petroleum, C ton goods, car
penters' and other tools. sewing and
Tin ma h mes and silver-piated ware.
Cho, sti ks tChinese knife and fork
are consumed by millions, yet each is
made by hand. Some mach Inc similar
to that which makes matches could be
easily Invented and would reap for
tune for its inventor. in such IN
dustries as those of the potter. the
carver, metal worker, glassmaker. forge
and foundry man, and cobbler the
methods of to-day are those of twenty
centuries AGO. The introduction OF
machinery would revolutionize all this
and increase the productiyeness Of
Chinese labor five-fold.-Ghscaqo der
I'D
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

"A farmers work on wet days in
cludes, according to an agricultural
paper, this miscellany: .'Mend the
tools. oil the harness, pick out the de-
cayed fruit and vegetsbles in the cellar,
read, write aad visit the school. - ca.
esQo IribnNl
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

For honest failures the public should
have, and has. only kindly sympathy;
or dishonest ones it should have only
stern reprobation, and the law and
courts should haze adequate penaltiis
and punishmentA Indianapolis Jou&-
nal.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05
PITH AND POINT.

Enquirer asks: What shall do
t. keep my greyhound from bowling at
night" Did you ever try feeding him
On paris green. Post.
Cholera is not the worst horror that
threatens Paris. "A Frenchman has
written drama called Lies Dudes"
which he proposes to bring ont in that
city.
-"Why am like . Wall street finan.
cier?" asked young farmer ne he re,
turned from the barn. ii give it up"
replied his father. "Be .auSe | bave
been watering the stock "-Eroo In
Time.
Lady (engaging laundress an:
nervous about small pOx) Il hope yJu
are very particular about infection"
Laundress -"Lor, num- we never
use none of it We always washes
clothes with our lands"
My daughter" sad pompous
Did gentleman, .'you must never listen
to atterers.'' .'But, papa" said the
young lady, show can 1 tell that they
are fiatterers unless L listen: "--N. Y.
Tribune.
40. don't propose to me here !"
exelaimed young lady, whose love
was about to pour out MS avowal as
they were riding by corn-feld- The
,er, best corn has ears. ''-Bur4iDJton
Free Press.
The Telegram:
She Gu ches at the tele2rim-
Conjecture racks her train;
She knows her husband has been killed
On some on going train
He- fingers >hake-her breath ONES FAST
n dreadful IL must be.
win a1gry scowi she lea s the line:
-Phlcdephi Can.
Mr.. Temperanee-The weather Is
30 warm l thought little lemonade
would be refreshing. Won you have
some, MIR. Idler? Mr. Idler-Thanks; no.
/ must confess / do not care for plain
lie .nonade. Idont think it agrees with
me. Mrs. Temperanee-No ont YOU
please tel me how you like il, and let
me mix YOU somea MIR. Idler-Wen-
the fact is, only like it with stick in
it. A stIck?" .Ye,; but pray do not
trouble YOURSELF" sob. no troIble At
all. assure you. Jane, bring me the
mucilage "-Pkilatet hia Cat e
=: at was q fresh arrival and had
obtained situation in hotel as sort
of man of all work. .'Now, Pat" said
the landlord. ..yoI see that sign, Gen
tlemen must use the spittoons.' II You
notice any of the guests violating that
rule want you to report the matter to
me- .'Oi wull, sOr." Pat kept a
sharp eve out. and, after watch ng =
gentle nan for half an hour, he went up
to him and said: ..D'ye moind t e sign
forninst the wall, sor7' "Yes." Thy
don't We obsarve it. thin" 81 am not
splitting on the carpet" said the gentle
man, rather astOnished. ''Oi knaw yer
not. an yer not usin' the spettune nav
thur. Spet. ye thafe, or oi,ll report
VEN. \. Sun.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

Acoustic canes are French inven'
ton for the benefit of persons afaict&t
with imperfect hearing
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05
A Word TO Delicate People.

Without being actual dyspeptics, a
great many people suffer from what is
termed weak digestion. The symptoms
of such condition of stomach and in.
testines are only too well known: the
feeling of uneaSinesS at er eating, with
probably some degree of distensiop and
tatulence, acid eructations, constipation
or the reverse, or the one state alter
mating with. another, discomforting or
alarming sensations about the region of
the heart, swimming in the head, noises
in the ears, sleeplessness, non-re resh-
ing slumber. general ennui and weari-
ness, and lastly, nervous symptoms of
any or all kinds, not the least distress
ing of which may be some of the MANY
phobias that afiict people with weak
digestions, from cardiphobia to hydro
phobia. l have had patients whom
no amount of reasoning would convince
that they were not suffering from heart
disease; others who suffered-they said
from incipient softening of the brain;
some who had no lungs; others minus
liver
81 don't believe" patient told me
only the day before yesterday. that
have an ounce o. liver left.
Well, such people. at all events, have
my sincere sympathy. anu my advice to
them in the matter OF diet is somewhat
as follows:
Eat moderately: on no account take
what may be called a full meal. Take
food whenever hungry: for instance,
have breakfast Immediately after get
ting up, merely going out OF doors for
five minutes previously. Ii hungry at
twelve. have cup of cocoatina; dine
at two o'clock of tender ONT, or
steak, or chop. with potatoes sparingly
and greens. little soup. and tap oca or
rice pudding. No pastry, or sweets, or
cheese. Take no fuid until you have
nearly finished the solids. Vary the
food every day. Fish only if quite di-
gestible. which it of:entimes is not: no
veal or pork, but mutton, beef. game
and fowl. Fruit before breakfast, but
not after dinner.-Harpey's neekty.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

UA An commanications for this pap
should be accompanied by the name Of tb
rs an evidence of good faith on the part o
the writer. Write only on one side of the ps
per Be particularly careful in giving nam.
Ind oates 10 have the letten and figures pls's
end iistinct
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

Jones is a miserable man, but is
very pleasant" said Brown. "Yes, !"
replied Smith. "but it is his miserable
ness that makes him pleasant. /"
Flows zeat?' "Why, don't you see.
he hates TO lose anything, and therefore
keeps his temper. "-ssnservsiis dour-
nc
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

1OpOleu over On her uIlle Iat SUOulOe l
and she was leaning against him fast
asleep.
He laid her tenderlv down on the
grass. feeling proud TO the very depths
of his chivalric Little soul of having
some one to take care of. He gave the
round cheek a kiss, and thought lie
would call her Kathleen, which was the
name of beautiful little girl Bird ret
often sang about. and just as he was
softly saving: Kathleen, Kathleen"
to try how it would sound. he heard a
noise like the tuning of instruments
above him, which surprised him very
much, for he had thought the circus was
over.
Peepipg out he saw the elephant
gravely seated. with one of the biggest,
shiniest brass instruments. The camel
and the giraffe and 4 lion and polar
bear came. too, and each one began tuf-
ing an instrument. Johnny stoned rs
they played and thought they did ii
very well. They went on for hours and
hours. until the elephant peeped down
and spied Kathleen.
s.Come and dance for US. little girl. -
he said. wen take you all over the
world with us"
.'Oh you're very good, sir, I'm sure, .
said Johnny. as he reached down for
Kathleen. .'but it's my little sister, she
is. aud 1 couldn't spare her."
Without, however. paying any atten-
ton to him. the elephant took up the
darling Kathleen, Johnny Selling hold
OF her and crying:
you can't have her! I've bought
her, and she's NINE"
The lion took hold of his arm to draw
him back. but he still chung to his SIS
ter. screaming:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1884-09-05

"Yes, do" said Johnny. frankly.
but feeling little discouraged; "and
that's great deal more than twenty
five cents, 1 know, so it's myself can't
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
NEW YORK,
Especial Telegram to the Globe. l

New YORK, April 29.-It has been one Of
the livoliest days of the season in Wall street.
A fair days business was recorded before
the noon hour was reached. The worst
break during the morning was in
Central Pacific. 1t was off five
points from last evenings figures,
Union Pacific and Western Union Telegraph
received particular attention for the bears
each losing over two per cent. Lake Shore,
in the face of all this, advanced to 96H.
Denver acted very toppy, dropping below II.
The Coalers managed to make small gains,
also the Changers. Thare was almost apanic
at one time on Union Pacific and Western
Union Telegraph. The bears came to the
rescue later in the day, and immense line Of
shorts were purchased. This helped the stu
alton for time. As their support was with
erawn the market sagged. Missouri Pacific
looked very ragged, as did Western Tnion
Telegraph. Heavy selling characterized the
dealings in the closing moments. The
short interest is large and deliveries poor,
but there appears so be no power able to
check the decline, which continues from day
to day.
Henry Clews & Co. say: eff Mr.. Gould
would make another exhibition Of his secu-
rites after deducting those sold to-day, we
doubt very much if the show would excite
half the cupiditY aroused by the former. West
ern Union was sold most literally declining,
from CAS- to 81, and SO closed, which price
is a commentary upon the confidence inves-
tors have in so-called per cent. dividend
earning stock. There is no doubt that Mr..
Gould has been the engineer controlling the
recent bear movement in the market. When
he discovered some time ago the impossible
Pacific, excepting in retail lots, it is very
clear he sold short against them a vast
amount Of other stocks which had a market,
and now uses Western Union and Missouri
Pacific as q hammer to break prices. The
recent campaign since his return home has
been fercely waged by that method,
his losses on long stock
being made up by his profits on the shorts
providing he succeeds in covering in time).
Central Pacific made very good record Cor
one day, declining ~ points. The only
stocks shat gave any evidence of strength
we're st. Paul, Northwestern, Lake Shore, the
Coalers and Northern Pacifics. This was
particularly noticeable owing to the efforts
made to break them. The Philadelphia mar
ket, which is usually perfectly happy to keep
within 8 per cent. of ours, had a little fun
to-day all by itself, with Jersey Central run
ming the price up from 4 to points above
this market"
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30

| ing clause'' The tariff reformers claim
however, they are gaining strength ever.
day, and that the bill will certainly pass
There is dissatisfaction among the Demo
Gratis who want the tobacco tax abolished a
the dilatoriness of the ways and means com
mittee on that subject
WHERE'S DoRsEYl
Ex-senator Dorsey was expected to appear
| before the Springer committee to-day, but
| failed to put in an appearance.
HOUSE ELLIS.
The house appropriations committee had
the army appropriation bill under considera-
ton to-day, and expected to complete it this
evening. The house committee on public
lands to-day agreed upon bill to repeal the
amend the homestead laws.
KELLoGG's TRIAL.
The trial Of Ex-senator Kellogg, indicted
for receiving a bride to increase pay on mail
routes in Louisiana and Texas, is excitin g
considerable attention in view Of his political
prominence and delegateship to the Republi-
can national convention. TIE general opin-
ion is that he is too smart TO be caught, and
will pull through somehow or other.
AN AMUSING STORY
Is current at the capitol concerning the new
method Of collecting soiled towels and re-
placing them with clean ones in the various
committee rooms Of the senate. Mr.. Cana
day, the new sergeant-at-arms, is from the
wilds Of North Carolina, where towels are
doubtless objects Of great veneration. Being
advised that towels are. not infrequently car
ried off, possibly by senators and employees,
and that this item Of expense trenches large
ly upon the senate incidental fund, he has
adopted an economic and novel plan to care
for this article Of government property.
Custodian Draper, accompanied by two stall
wart employees, one Of whom is bearer OF
soiled and the other Of clean towels, calls at
a committee room each morning. Draper
takes his stand at the door, while two colored
men advance majestically to the towel racks.
The first gathers up the soiled towels and
hauds them to the second man, who solemnly
announces their number. Draper repeats
the number and enters it in his memoran-
uull doom. NO. lucA nduNS NJ. az
equal number Of clean towels, the number
Of which is also reported and entered in the
book, and the procession moves off to the
next committee room to 60 through the same
pantomime. Under this economical plan it
only costs the government $500 per an
NUN to care for and distribute towels.
Diapers salary is 81, 800 and the two colored
men receive respectively $1,000 and $40.
When Col. Bright was sergeant at arms,
clean towels were handed out to committee
messengers without stint.
CATTLE AND PORK.
Secretary Teller awarded the contract fol
975 barrels of Indian pork at Chicago tc II.
o. Armour at SIT. F. H. Evans, Of Sioux
CITY, obtained the contract for cattle, deliv-
cradle at Grow agency, Montana; $40 heifers
at $50. so; $50 COWS at S31 and 40 bulls at
$50.
COMMISSIONED.
Hans NJ. Hogestad has been appointed
postmaster at Camp, Minnesota, and Emma
n. Griffin at Stetson, Dakota,
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30

prices firm on all the best Shippers were
rather SLOW, but the dressed beef buyers
'Epitched I'M lively during the morning.
Butchers stock was in good demand and
steady. The demand for stockers and feed
ers was rather slow. Prices yet seem too
high to draw out buyers. The supply is not
heavy, yet fully equal to to the demand at
present. There was a fairly active demand
for hogs during the morning, with a steady
range of prices, only occasionally a lot sell
ing 5910c lower. The market barely av-
eraged sc decline. The packing company
were on the market for the first time for the
summer season, and bought literally, but
Armour was out of the market during the
forenoon, SO that the demand from the new
buyers was offset by the absence Of some of
the old ones.
There was sharp demand for fresh re-
ceipts Of sheep. All sorts sold shade higher.
Prices averaged 45@5Oc over the lowest
prices of last week.
Crosby & Co. say: eve see no change in
the situation as result of the days bust
ness, and think the short interest is increas-
ing. After the deliveries Thursday we antici-
pate more activity and higher prices"
Milmine, Rodman & Co., say: " The whole
deal is now badly mixed and uncertain, and
many conservative dealers are standing
aside and doing nothing, waiting for the
clouds to roll by, so that they can catch their
bearings once more. The export demand
has been practically shut off by the advance,
and if higher prices are obtained now it must
come from further excitement in specula-
tive circles. We still have more faith in
corn than wheat, believing it possesses more
merit.n
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
Barrett and Mary Anderson.
Especial Cablegram to the Globe.


LONDON, April 29.-Lawrence Barrett
made his first failure last night in the char
acter of Richelieu, in which he appeared for
the first time at the Lyceum theater. His
support was wretched, and the tragedian
himself gave evidences of nervousness and
did not succeed during the whole
performance in warming the some
what small audience up to
the point of enthusiasm. This was the first
time Mr.. Barrett had put himself in compar-
ison with Mr.. Irving in character which
the latter had frequently impersonated
before practically the same audience,
and it is to this fact that
the critics ascribe his failure
They say Mr.. Barrett is not at all bad
Richelieu, but is not Mr.. Irving Richelieu?
The Irving traditions are too strong at the
Lyceum to admit of appreciation
of an imporsonation on
lines widely dissimilar from his. Mr. Bar
rett accepted the Virdict Of the audience with
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
Committed for Trial.

Dies MONIES, Ia, April 29.-Wilson and
Smyth, accused Of the murder of Hiram Jell-
erson, their father-in-law, by hanging him to
tree last Friday night, for the alleged rea-
son of criminal intercourse with his own
daughter. Wilson's wife, waived a prelim-
mary examination to-day. The parents and
wives of the prisoners visited them to-day,
and the latter endeavored to induce their
brother Cicero to retract bis confession of
participation in the crime with the other two,
but he stoutly maintained the truth of his
story.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
CHICAGO FINANCIAL,
Especial TELEGRAM to the Globe. |

CHICAGO, April 29.-The supply of loana-
bic funds being in excess of all Legitimate
requirements, the market is easy at 5@7 per
cent. On sharp call loans there are lenders
at 4C94119 per cent. A firmer feeling pre-
vailed in the market for eastern exchange
and sales between city banks were at 6Oc
premium per 81 900 The bank clearings
were S7,299,00O against S8,015,OOO yester-
day. Orders for currency were light.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30

a good grace, and is now considering tn
ACCESSIBILITY of Withdrawing Richelieu and
substituting King Richard III, until Frances
ca da Rimmi can be got ready.
Miss Mary Anderson began her promised
tour last evening at Edinburgh in the char
acter of Parthenia in ''Ingomar to Barbar-
ian." She had splendid reception by a
crowded house, and was calledin front of the
curtain at the end of each act
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
Illinois Central Gossip.

ST. LOUIS, April 29.-'I can't see wha
the Illinois central people are thinking of,
said one of the Gould officials yesterday
speaking of Traffic Manager fuckers res
ignation. ''They froze out Marvin Hughit
and ne was gobbled up by the Northwestern
and made vice president ahd general mana
ger before you could say Jack Robinson
Now they have served Joe Tucker the same
way. These are two of the best railroad men
in America, and 1 am surprised tC
see the Illinois Central so blind
to its own interests. am MOI
at all concerned about Tucker. A
man like him can have about any position he
wants. He says he has two offers from
western lines under consideration now.
saw paragraph to-day saying he would ac-
cept position in the Milwaukee & st. Paul.
don't believe that, for think he will fol
low Hughitt and go with the Northwestern.
He will be in a position then to make the
Illinois Central folks sorry they let him go,
and hope he will do it, too"
Hy H. Landon, banker, New York, who
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30

CHICAGO, April 29,-An official, promi-
nently connected with the Chicago, st. Paul,
Minneapolis S Omaha road, says the corps
of surveyors who are now running lines in
Nebraska, in the vicinity of Decatur, are in
the service of his road and not as popularity
supposed employed by the Nebraska Central
He declares that they are working to head off
the latter road, and that the Omaha, backed
by the Northwestern, will duplicate every
mile the Nebraska Central builds.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
OTHER MARKETS.
ChicapoLiYe Stock

CHICAGO, April 29.-The Drovers' journal re-
ports: Hogs, receipts 1900 head; shipments
$500 head; the market was slow and 10c
lower; rough packing S525@5s5; packing
and shipping S5.SO@6.1O; light SIS 2O@5. rs !;
skips $1,000. rs. Cattle, receipts 5000 head :;
shipments $500 head; the market was slow,
but steady; export grades S6.25@6. 70 !;
good to choice shipping $4,000 90 common
to medium S5.3O@5.79, Sheep, receipts $500
head; shipments 800 head; the market was
brisk and 1Oc higher; inferior to fair
S400S4.75 per hundred pounds; medium to
good $5.O006.0O; choice to extra S5.75@6.25.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
PILES! PILES!

A sure cure for Blind, Bleeding, Itching and
liberated Piles, has been discovered by DR.. VIII
liam, ian Indian remedy called Dr.. WILLIAMS
INDIAN OINTMENT. A single box has cured
the worst chronic cases of 25 years standing. No
one need suffer five minutes after applying this
wonderful soothing medicine. Lotions and in
struments do more harm than good William !
Ointment absorbs the tumors, allays the intense
itching, particularly at night after getting
in bed, acts as poultce, gives instant and pain
less relief, and is prepared only for Piles itching
Of the 4rivate parts, and for nothing else. 70
sale by all druggists, and mailed on receipt O.
price, 81. MOVES BROS. & CUTLER, Wholesale
Agent. St. Paul. Mimi.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
New York Dry Goods

New York, April 2o.-The exports of do
nestle cottons for the past week were 3,54O
packages, making for the expired portion of the
year SO, 900 packages against 1876 in 1882, and
50,399 in 1881. There has been very fair bus
mess in some classes of woolens, otherwise the
the demand and movement was dull and unin-
teresting.
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30

CHAS. EAYRE HINKLE, Jersey City Heights,
n. j.. lad OF IL years, who, for eight years, was
one mass of Scabs and Humors, and upon whom
all known remedies and cures were tried in vain
was completely cured by CUTICURA REMEDIES.
Sold by all druggists. Price: CuTIcUEA 80 cts ::
REsOLvENT, 81; SOAP, % cts. POTTER Drug
AND CHEMICAL Co., Boston, Mass.
Send fO1. "H0tU to Cure SKIN Diseases.V
St. Paul daily globe. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn.) 1884-1896, 1884-04-30
Base Ball Yesterday.

At Baltimore.-Ba ltimores, 16; Nationals, 5.
At New York.-Detroits, 10; Brooklyn, 1.
At Dayton, Ohio.-Allegheny Reserves, 4;
Daytons, 5,