The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1884-07-11
THE POINT OF HONOR.

1t Is extremely refreshing to notice the line
sense of honor possessed by some of the rising
generation in Virginia City. Recently two
youths, each aged about fourteen, met on Z
street, when the following dialogue took place
II say, Bill, you got my knifaf"
"No, l amt"
"Pon yer word =
"'Pon me word"
"Pon yer soul !"
"Pon me soul"
slope you may die II you have"
"Hope l may die if have"
"You amt got my knife 2
~ amt got your knife
The querist seemed to be still incredulous,
but was on the point of giving 1t up in despair,
| when a bright idea occurred to him and he re-
turned to the attack with, '"Pon yer honor?'
"O," said the other, "now you touch me
honor, take your DANCED old knife" and he
handed the article over.
.'Well done, Bill" said his chum, 81 always
knowed you was honorable chap."-Virginia
City Chronicle.
LITTLE PITCHED n HIS BIG EARS.
Young Johnny Jarpley was inclined to be a
| good boy, and his mother spent much time in
instructing him in the enormity of the sin OF
telling falsehoods, and, to impress 1t upon him,
wound up by telling him that people who told
lies choked to death. When the Rev Mr. and
Mrs Muckle were taking dinner at Jarpley's, on
" ICltttH CstlI, bHC uCAt udy3 ihio
asked her guest; $50, Mrs Muckle, you like
my cooking?"
" 1t is splendid, Mrs Jarpley, just splendid"
enthusiastically responded Rev Muckle's lady.
"Mr Jarpley is fortunate in the possession OF
such an excellent cook as yourself" .
Just as the lady concluded she took a sip OF
water, and a few drops ''going the wrong way
| caused her to cough. -,
"There she goes! There she goes, mother y
| exclaimed young Jarpley in great excitement.
81 heard her say, when you was out OF the
parlor, to Mr. Muckle, she wished it was all
| over, as ono of your dinners was enough to Kill
a mule, and she wondered how your husband
had ever lived SO long.'"-[Pittsburg Chron-
icle.
THE SCHOOL BOYS PROGRESS.
Fond Parent-Well, Johnny, how are you
getting along at school? ,,
Johnny-Oh, first rate. l started on third,
but | am on first now.
Fond Parent-Glad to hear it, my son. Al
ways try to be first. There is fifty cents for
your industry.
~Johnny-Ain't that nice! I'll try to get
higher yet.
Fond Parent-Higher? How can you be
higher than first?
Johnnv-Easy enough. l can get to be short
stop or Observation-Disclosures Call.
HIS HEAD WAS LEVEL
A wealthy New York gentleman advertised
for a coachman. Among those who applied for
| the position was one who nswered all the re-
QuirementS.
81 will hire you for a year at fifty dollars a
month"
"The salary is all right, but"
"But what !"
81 would like to ask you a question"
"What is it" /.
care YOU president of any national bank, and
| do YOU speculate in Wall street :"
tsuyl,,t,c that m bn with vO1r huSiuPsS p'
""Well, if you do, | want my wages in adj
vance,"
WHY SHE NEEDED HIM.
81 should think You would find that poodle
| yery inconvenient in travelling" said the board
ing-house keeper to her new lady guest.
"Guess you never Travelled much," was the
young lady's reply. =,
"No, l never Travelled much, but L Should
think a poodle would be very inconvenient."
convenient"
GLOW so :"
"To chew clearinghouse beefsteak for me.
Paris Beacon.
WHY is a. lady's foot like a locomotive ? Be-
cause 1t moves in advance of a train.
When a man is asked if he can speak aloud,
what kind of savage does he name? Cannlbal.
(Can | bawl.)
A young lady says our genial school master
is like the letter c., because he makes lasses into
classes.
If the good die early why are the bad like
the pupil of the eye? Because they die late
(dilate).
Plumed Knight rhymes with might, and Jas
G Blaine rhymes with Maine, but what rhymes
with New York
If the young man who left the poem: 81
want to be at rest" upon our desk will call IN,
I'll - 4IaA 10 - accommodates
An exchange asks: "1f a young lady were
suffering from blighted affection, what flower
would you give her ~ That's easy enough.
Give her hearts ease?
"Why has our genial shoemaker Streeter
such wonderful power of endurance p asked a
war of the RErORMER Monday. We gave 1t up.
because he holds on to the last was the reply
as he lodged the mucilage pot and" lit out for
the American house,
Said a young lady, the other day,in coming
from the photograph gallery, to a friend, why
would you be justified in picking Mr. Howe's
pocket ? "Give it up Mary" was the response.
Because he has picked yours lpictIres); Ihen
they went across to C0operS and had an ICE
cream and taflied ladyfingers.
A lady sat in the editorial room waiting for
the editor. She said to the funny man ~
want to send a letter to the postoffice. wiz
you please tell me-, sir, where L can so Tor a
boy ?" &c to the devil, madam" "Sir!D she
said, rising. "Ah, there he comes now. Llllls
take that lady's letter to the postoffice.
"Whar We bin = he asked, as the other boy
suddenly came around the corner. 10 the
doctor'sl" eur yer mother Z" "No, fur me-.
"What ails you y "Tongue all coated. See
there - eWhat does that mean !" "Heaps.'
chuckled the other. ''That means rhubarD TO
begin on, and loaf sugar, sweet cake, a yelocl,
pede, roller skates, and a jack-knite, before L
get through! Don't you wish you was me