The Evening critic. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1881-1885, 1884-08-27
Miscellaneous.

A uar.sack--A pillow.
sunstrokes and iced drinks.
A crying ovll-The baby next door.
Ben Butler has begun to kiss tho babies.
Ma,rimony is usually q marry.torlous pro-
cceding. ~,
The modern Mother Hub.bard-A Boston
p1ftess.
Tho lover sows his wild dotes on the girl he
loves.
The musician misses the notes when he
notes the Misses.
Skeletons are the coolest persons to be mot
with at present.
Now bring on the bung.holes, and let the
barrels be tapped.
1t is singular contradiction that when the
mosquito visits you he stays TO hum.
I'm glad it's all over" as the girl said when
the marriage ceremony was ended.
Virgins predicts n cold snap for next week.
IL Virgins were only not such llarl
Bismarck generally shaves himself. He
does not like to discuss AFFAIRS OF State with
barber.
Pierre Lorillard often bets 100000 day.
We seldom risk as much as that at ono time.
Washington, Byron, Wellington and Bona
parte were all married at the same age-27
years.
Mrs. Polly Shoulders, OF Jasper, Ind, who
is in her Goth year, recently walked ii miles
in single day.
Boston editor asks II his Wna
1t is said "hIusic is a prophecy of what life
is TO be-" This being true, Wagner music pre-.
diets pretty hard lot for us.
at goes against my grain," as the Kansas
farmer observed when cloud OF grasshoppers
twooped down on his wheat neld.
1t is stated on the best authority that r. d.
Hayes has refused to take J. Warren Kiefer as
partner In thSpouitry business.
Ben Butler is now giving an account OF his
stewardship. Stewards have been known be-
I rp now TO run AWAY with silver BDOOnS.
II the cranberry crop In New Jersey proves
failure this season the natives will have to
ca; their Thanksgiving turkey with apple
sauce.
An eminent authority advises us TO SNAKE
the most or life." jay Gould has followed
these Instructions with considerable success.
From n bushel OF corn or rye there can be
obtained almost two gallons OF alcohol. This
is what Is making It uphill work for Mr.. st.
John.
Mrs. Julia X. "what is the hes, thing for a
woman 10 carry to occupy her hands with and
keep them from appearing awkward2"
baby, madam.
The King OF Italy has rescinded the law pro,
biting onlcers In the Italian army from mar
army, 1t Is believed.
The Greek Church in New York hns gone up.
The pastor goes also; not to Canada, but TO
Co1stantinople. Cause; No money In the
Greek Church.
There are 1877 candidates for the thirteen
snerins' oflices In Montana this season. II Is
supposed that Montana was peopled by colo
ules from Ohio.
"rhe Parisians think all Americans ara
enormously rich" This doubtless results
from tho number OF American editors who
have recently visited that city.
New York travelling salesman has married
Hoboken dressmaker. A drummer and n
suter In one family ought 10 make 1t rather
lively for the neighbors.
Science is constantly making discoveries, nut
We have nowhere seen any explanation of the
reason wly nobody NAV NHOma HRADt
II me-" on the harmouica.
"Ioldup" Is the name OF new postonlce in
Arizona. The name originated from the num-
Der OF men who were "heid up" there when
mo town was In Its infancy.
o Mrs. MalapTop has heard that tho French
Arrcarried away by n new dance-the cholera
Griman--and that tho Tonquln Is being sound.
"a IN tho streets OF Parts every day.