Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-07-02
''Tliey."

The mysterious beings who exercise
unlimited control over our destinies
have no name. They are simply "theyw
but they are legion. Occasionally
they become "them." Dolly Winthrop,
il may be remembered accustomed TO
the recognition of some mysterious mex
plcable guidance in her affairs, habitu-
ally referred to them above" and the
everyday influences of most persons
lives are referable to an equally mystic
al ''they." What are they wearingP"
is the question that opens the season.
Are they using ice plates for fruitP"
"Are they getting married in cream
color or white?" 'Arc they using tap
estry curtainsp'' "Arc they buying
Spanish leather chairs?.' care they at
tending Grace Church or Trinityp"
care they wearing engagement rings
on the second or first iinger?" Are
they having their hair curled or plaitedpn
"Are they using canes in the street?'
"Do they wear roundabout collars or
turn-down?" "Do they wear tight
trousers?" "Do they prefer shoulder
straps to decent sleevesp" What are
the colors they are wearing this sea-
sonPn
1t is bad enough when these diaboli-
cal invisibles determine the clothing,
coloring and general behavior of the
community, but it is worse still when
''thoy" begin TO "say." Sometimes it
is emphatic, "they do say;" or mystic.
rious, Imagine what they sayP" or in
definite, 'wc wonder what they will
say;' or positive, "Oh, you know they
say so and So"
Who are they? What are theyP
Where are theyP What satisfaction
it would be to grind them to powder.
We might we'll introduce new form of
litany-"From they deliver u.s." They
are ridiculous, merciless, foolish, but
omnipotent There is no possibility of
getting away from their influence. Now
and again some heroic soul, mighty in
the struggle for freedom, declares: 81
don't care what they say" But alas!
the words are meaningless; he does
care, he must care. 1t matters not ifhe
be in society or out of it, in wealth or
poverty, in sickness or in health, nay,
in the coffin, "they'' will pursue him,
will mysteriously influence his destiny.
They will 90 to the very confines of the
grave with him, and who knows that
they may not accompany him to the
waters beyond!
What shall we do about itP Can we
do anythingp Can we, mighty in num-
Der and unity, overcome and browbeat
this ubiquitous "thcy" We trow not.
Rather letus give up such an attempt Let
us pander to "they;" let us bow down
and worship "thcy;" let us do what they
would have us or stand in terror OF our
reputation, dearer to us than life itself,
if they disapprovc Of us.
Why do we spend more than we can
affordP Because "they" expect 1t of us.
Why do we go to immoral plays? Why
do we paint and POWDER Why do we
cringe and fawnP Why do we marry
for money and rue it ever aftcrP Why
do we 90 to races? Why do we read
lola and Oudap Why do we quarrel
with our servants, and hate our neigh
bors, and turn up our noses at those
who do not wear diamondsP Why do
we speculate, and make haste to grow
rich by short cuts and unworthy dodgesp
Why do we put ID. ID. after our names
without earning itp Why do we vote
against onr conscienccp Why do we
imagine so many thingsp Why are
we morbid and miserable and con-
tcmptibleP Why do we shut up our
houses and stay in the back rooms all
the summer? Why, in short, are we
humbugs, every man and woman among
usp The answer is sad, irresistible,
and, unfortunately, true. It's all be-
cause of 'they." If there were no
"theyn in the world we should-ah!
should we be better; more original, 9TH
or, in short, than we arep--M Y. Mail
and Cypress.