Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-05-23
Introspective Philosophy.

\ lOng-haired gentleman, while passing Il
barber shop. was accosted 10y q barber who
ON the lookout for work, stood in the door
way
Say, Cap'n, better come in and let me
cut yer ha'r."
why do you want to cut my hair "
stopping and politely replying to the bar
bcr
Case it mighty long, boss.
THAT Is where your depraved grasp for
gain gets the better of your judgment. My
hair has just been closely shingled"
'sWhat makes it lay down on yer shoul-
ders den, boss
1t does not lie ON my shoulders. To
your vitiated sight it may seem to lie on
my shoulders, but III reality it does not.
Did you ever study introspective philos-
ophy?"
4" No, sab; neber heard O it.
We'll, that's the cause of your mistake
You have stood here in your door so long
watching people with long hair, until you
think that the head of every man needs
shingling Your desire to make money has
outstripped the judgment of your eyesight
Men in your profession have kept on in
this way until they had to be taken to an
asylum where such diseases are treated.
You have been standing out here for about
half an hour, haven't you?"
- es, sah.
And nearly every man who passed had
long hair, didn't hep
" Yes, sab dat's a fack.'
g You have seen more men than women
pass, haven't you"
B'lieve has, sab"
- In fact, nearly everybody who passes is
a man?"
Yes, sah.'
Well now, the truth is, very few men
passed here within the last hour, and those
who did pass had short hair. In your
eagerness for work, resulting from that
brain hallucination born of 4 desire for
gain. you have mistaken women for men
and long hair for short. Haven't you been
troubled in your mind about religion
lately?n
Think has boss"
hallucination. This is the direct work of
the devil. You were a slave before the
war;
Yes, sah"
Certainly; and the devil is endeayor-
ing to keep you a slave. He is giving you
false eyesight He is sowing in your
breast the seeds of gain-desire. He knows
that after awhile, by your persistency, you
will make yourself obnoxious in the sight
of the law
Denis mighty cuis facks, boss"
ITO be sure they.are You have never
studied interpretive philosophy, have
your
No, sab, kahn say dat hab.'
well, then, so much better for the
devil. He has just begun to work on you
now, but after a while he'll make you seize
little babies out of their buggies, take them
into your shop and attempt to shave them
and cut their hair
MAY de Lawd sabe me from dat time,
replied the barber with restless air.
Sure to come unless you study intro
spective philosophy You have gone far
already You are blinded now What am
|? a man or a woman?"
YerS dressed like man, sab
And you thought just now that had
long hair?n
Yes, sab.
"Well, am woman with short hair
and wear flowing skirts"
Boss, yOu's going too fur wild me"
All right; I'll bet you twenty dollars
that l am dressed as woman and that my
hair is short. We Will leave it TO any man
you may select"
q / amt bettin' man, Cap'n."
:" / don't blame you. | am woman
dressed as woman, but L am an intro
spective philosopher. If you go on in your
ignorance, you are likely to go crazy after
awhile. Why don't you study philoso-
phy?'
. l amt got de books, sah''
Madam, if you please"
S'cuse me. l amt got de books,
Well, here is book ON introspective
philosophy that l will let you have for two
dollars
Here's your money; gimme de book,
and the long-haired agent for great work |
walked away in contentlnent with his own |
abilitieS.-[ Arkansaw Traveller