The Indianapolis journal., 1884-12-07

the sacrifice which one at least is supposed to
have made in giving up family friends for the
others sake, both are apt to find that they have
disposed of themselves too cheaply. Nor is it
possible even for a bride or groom to forget or
overlook entirely the opinions of former dear
and trusted friends, and these adverse opinions
ranking in the mind have an irritating influence
which too often renders the husband or wife i'm
patient of the others faults, though their love
for each other be tender and true.
But the real or stimulating cause of nine in
ten, perhaps nineteen in twenty, unequal or
otherwise romantic marriages is willfulness, a
characteristic not apt to be any loss active after
than before marriage 1t simply finds new vic
Tins, and leads its possessor to further errors
destroying or preventing the growth of marital
esteem and affection.
This doctrine of ''nobody's business but ours"
is deemed extremely selfish, and even criminal in
every other relation in life. Social well as
Christian law demands recognition of the
rights of others. Perfectly independent
action is an impossibiity, and, as all
know it is an acceptation of this fact
which permits civilized society to exist Why
should marriage alone be exempt from its OBJ
servancel When girl of good social position
elopes with cOachman, bringing suffering and
disgrace upon friends who have never failed in
kindness to her, she not only outrages justice
and affection, but violates an important social
law. She tramples remorselessly upon the
rights of Others, and excuses herself with lit is
nobody's business but ours" Parents and
most selfish motives only yet their right to de-
fend themselves if possible, from dishonor must
not be lost sight of.
Family pride, which 80 many Americans have
fit to ridicue, is really the key stone of the
arch of domestic life, the surest evidence of
unity and affection. man woman who las
shared the fortunes of family, and enjoyed the
benefit OF its reputation, is morally bound to up
hold its honor at any sacrifice of self. This fact
can be insisted upon the more strongly because
experience and observation teach that the sacri
flee of true and noble love is seldom or never
demanded.
Misalliances are not customarily entered into
by manly upright men, or gentle, womanly
women Duties never conflict, and people of
worth would refuse to purchase happiness at the
cost of great heart sorrow to others.
1t cannot be denied that many good people
honestly believe these so-called romantic mar
riages to be only the natural and justifable re-
suits of a real ana pure affection and it is the
thoughtless good people who in this as in every
thing else, are the most serious obstacles to the
dissemination of correct ideas of right and
wrong Girls should be taught that there is a
dangerous lack of morality in their desire
willingness to marry fast young man. which
even the romantic spirit of youth can scarcely
excuse; and the case is very little better with
girls of good family connections who are willing
to marry interiors in birth station; such girls
are usually possessed of domineering spirit, as
well as wanting in refinement and true womanh-
ness.
1t would scarcely be worth ones while to de-
vote so much attention to this subject were it
not for the moral bearing it has upon our society
and country.
The world cannot stop to consider what is
simply the unhappiness of a few individuals or
families here and there in society. But when
this unhappiness becomes the of evil
which threatens family and social life; it be-
hooves law abiding and Christian people to give
it serious attention.
Christian moralists have written learned and
philosophical articles about divorce and the
means for its suppression, as well as its many
causes but few have had the wisdom to discover
or the courage to denounce, what is one of the
chief causes of unhappy marriages, an inequality
parties which, before marriage, met with de-
cided objections from the relatives of one the
other.
Misalliances and divorces are probably of
more frequent occurrence in our country than in
any other, and are usually due to a widespread,
though false, presumption that all Americans
born equal as well as free Differences in birth
and breeding in its citizens are common to every
land, and will be as long as the world exists.
These differences are particularly dangerous to
the marriage relation, because in it they argue
lack Of ambition on one side, coupled with an
overweenlng aspiration on the other So un-
equal yoke cannot fail TO he CALLING, aud it is
not strange that its removal is so often attempt
ed by means of law.
1t is the demoralizing effect of unhappy mar
riages, neglected families and the increasing fire.
quency Of divorce, that makes all marriages
everybody's business, and contracts the right OF
any couple to say in regard to their marriage it
is ''nobody's business but ours
New ALBANY, Ind.