Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-28
BRIGHT BITS.

FLOODS come high; but it seems the unhap-
by Ohio people must have them.-Sele orleans
Pic0g1tne.
A WRITER in a scientific monthly asks, ''What
Is meter.' It's a sort of a mechanical jay
Eyes PAuadelphja cal.
Il NEVER shot but three men in my life"
SAID gentleman. Then. replied bystand
er, You didn't remain long at Hot Springs
-4rtaHsds TrICeiler.
THE report that q canal boat Captain
bought a United states man-of- war with q
view TO using it on the canals. is not true. lie
did not buy it,: he sand 1T was uucanal-
worthy.
''SHOT dead by dOctOr.' such is the start
ling caption of an article in an exchange. He
must be very unskilful physician who has TO
resort to powder and BAN to get rid Of a pa
uent.-B0st0n Transcript.
Yrs" said Mr.. Snaggs, give found way
TO keep that cow In the pasture After the
boy turns her i'm go and put in an hour or So
trying to drive her out. OF course she won {
90. and it settles her for the day - Free Press.
YES" said Mrs Liberal. II hate those
Straiters. they are SO awfully big0ted: but
they needn't be so stuck up about their reli-
Eion. Inc liberal talth Is gaming last. and 10
won't he many years. guess. before We can
De as bigoted as they are. ''-BoStoa Tr9uscrtDt.
EX-GOy. SMITH. OF Georgia. having said
that he had seen Henry Ward Bcechcr dining
recently. was asked whether the man Of sod
gian. "Why, If he had been at the miracle on
the Mount there wouldn't have been any
basketfuls Left
CHICAGO newspapers use a good deal Of
space and ink informing the world that Mrs.
Sarah Monroe, of their city. now "a wears Old.
used to sit i'm George Washngton's lap. And
we are glad to hear it,; there is a great COM
fort in the thought that somebody in Chicago
has been near man who couldn't tel lie.
DO you think it wrong to patronize the
horse cars on sunday, deacon" asked Mrs.
Goode. Decidedly" replied the deacon
decidedly wrong, Mrs. GOode; it's q desecra-
ton Of the day, ma'a never take horse
car on Sunday, ma'am. consider it wrong,
decidedly wrong. | walk, ma'am, and re-
ceive my reward in an approving conscience,
cents, ma am. '-Boston Iydnscr{pt.
Mr. IRVING ought to visit Lebanon, o., be-
fore he leaves this country. Notwithstanding
the large shaker element settled under the
Ohio cedars Of Lebanon, there are a few peo-
pie there who appreciate good action when
they see 1t. The Lebanon Star saws: "A
pathetIcker piece Of action than which Robert
McWade gave Monday night as Rip Van
Wrinkle has never been seen on the stage Of
the Lebanon opera House. '-DetroB Pre-
Press.
A JOURNALIST has just died in the West at a
ripe Old age who was 50 superstiuOus about
railroads and different lines of transit that he
wouldn't take a journey over any railway
until he bad a note from the superintendent
that could be shown TO the conductor on the
way. He said he tried to make a trip once
without this precautlOn. and met with a ter
rble accident. Nobody else was hurt. but he
was thrown of the train and over an embark
ment twenty feet high.-Ph5ladelpAia
CaU.
AN application for q patent for an adiusta-
bic dogs tail has been made to the United
States Patent Office. The applicant claims
that all dogs who. either by nature or acct
dent, are minus tail, encount-r great diff
culties in turning sharp corners, as their CEN
tire of gravity is thrown too near the fore legs
and consequently they must go slow or lose
their balance. The adjustable dogs tail viii
restore the equilibrium. Whether the paten-
tee hopes to make a fortune on the patent is
not STANDARDIZATION JOUrndi.
JONEs-"I am shocked. NJ. Smith. to find
that you keep your cigar store open on sun
day" Smth-"IO on make a mistake sir. /
am a strict church member, and never 20 near
the store on sunday" But 1t is OPEN
Possibly it is. You sec my partner is He
brew, ana he worships on Saturday, the lie
brew Sabbath, and never goes near the store
on that day. lie naturally considers Sunday
the beginning Of the secular week. There ia
no moral objection to that, is there." PRO
baby not; but the store Is open on Saturday
too ''Of course: l attend to things then. -
PhiEGdelphia CAL.