Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-01-13
Perhaps He win, Though.

Il am aware" he began. - he looked
across the street car az a farmer-looking
man with a tear ON his nose, aud an old
woman VINO kept shutting and smiling,
and wiping her chin with a blue mitten,
"that this is swearing off day. Every
Teller, young and old, purity or hOmely, is
swearing off. All but me; | won't swear
off on nOthingv'
Ine farmer man looked down at the hay
on the floor, as if figuring on the cost per
ton, and the old woman coughed dismally.
''NO, SIT, / wOn't!' continued the man.
Pm going to keep right on getting drunk
and cheating and lying and stealing and
gamblIngl Pll even be meaner than last
year! Pm going to chew twice as much
plug tobacco, drink twice as poor whisky.
and if there is any way to secure ma
tiOnal reputation as a mean man I'll have
it,"
The farmer man now looked out of the
window at the passing scenery, while the
Old woman examined her basket to see if
her snuff box was safe.
Il suppose you don't care how mean l
amp queried the man to the farmer.
No reply.
your old cOgnOmen is, do you hear me?"
The farmer turned around.
Il say l won't swear off. I'm ire
uNHlA(S1 lAuii III IA ANhl Dlb 4 NOh
premise to REFORM"
"Well, / don't care" slowly replied the
granger.
''You don't hope I'll reform, eh?'
S'NO, sir"
Probably just as lief see me go to
prison as to the Legislature?'
4 would ratherp'
$50 would ~ squeaked the old woman.
'Now I'll be hanged if let anything on
-4l, 60, 4bo
he pulled off his gloves. 'fll begin the
new year by licking you BOTH"
Don't you fool with me-" warned the
farmer.
'NOr metz came from the corner.
EEAnvbOdy who won't advise me to
swear off has got TO take a licking" said
the fellow, aShe made pass at the gran
gers nose.
Next moment he was living on the hav,
a hand Oh his throat and his tongue hang
| ing out. and the woman calmly observed:
''I'yc got lame leg and can't mix in,
( but | hope you'll manage himp'
The farmer bumped him around. knock
ed his head on the floor kneIt on his ribs
/ and walked on his collar, and when
the driver came in they dragged the fell
| low to the door and rolled him off the
/ platform.
'.Savv he called as the car started up.
1 "Say what?" asked the former.
| 'N0thing to you, but l want to warn
/ that old woman to look out if 1 ever meet
/ herp'
s'You do, eh.1 she piped as she stood
/ in the door. swell, Pve got a lame
leg and had liver complaint for ten years,
but if you ever knock a chip off my
shoulder I'll make you think yoke OF
oxen hit your'
TaIma and the Poor Lieutenant.
Longnan's Mdgdsine.
/ once heard an old dramatist relate an
/ anecdOte which may or may not find its
way into print. AS long ago as 1888 or
1879 he was walking in the Rue St. HOnOre
with his friend Talma, then at the com
| mencement of his career, when a young
| officer in a shabby Lieutenant's uniform
met them and said to the actor: IRE
member tomorrow" Talma nodded as.
sent, and the other passed on.
''Who is that?" inquired my informant
THE torment of my life" was the re-
ply. "a young fellow without sou.
who is perpetually plaguing me for tickets
of admission to the theatre. Not bad
judge, 1 must say" he continued
''Knows all our classics by heart, anC
won't listen to anything but Corneille OF
Racine"
Some twenty years later the two friends
CHANGED to meet again in the Place d.
Carrousel at the very moment when Ma
pOleOn was starting for his daily ride
On seeing Talma he stopped his horse anC
spoke few words to him. When he haC
left them the tragedian, turning to hi
companion, asked if he recollected tn
young Lieutenant who used formerly t.
bother him for tickets. On the latter
confessing that he had quite forgotten tn
circumstance, "Ah," observed Talma, ="
have more reason to remember HIM thai
: YOU have. He is Emperor now, and l an
still poor devil Of an actor; but you Sc
he has not forgotten me. Only" h
added with a smile, che has no need to asl
me for free admissions nowr'
Dir. Edward Charleston, Savannah, Ga,
| ---r. ~ hnro 11ond Rrnrrn,s Irnn Ritter