davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1884-12-18

A dIDDY tendcrfoot on the Denver
Ncos is just now successfully engaged in
the undertaking of writing himself down
a commodious ass. Somebody has told
him that the Wyoming people are green
with envy over the alleged success
of the alleged st. Louis CON
vention as compared with the National
C~attlegrowers Convention held in Chi
cago. Imagining that the people of the
whole Westa are still engaged in discussing
the s-upennnuated problem Of whether or
not the St Louis gathering was really a
national convention be keeps Numbering
day by day through heavy columns of IN
cisive hapdoodle.
So far as The LEAnIR is concerned we
have long ago settled tbs matter to our
satisfaction, the dudesque individual
on the Ne,os to the contrary notwith-
standing. There is one colossal conun-
drum in relation to the matter that has
never yet been successfully grappled with,
even by the mental athlete employed by
the Neios. 1t is this How agathering
Of cattlemen, no matter how respectable
its makeup, can be considered national in
its character when only people from a
section of the country are admitted to ITS
deliberations. The st. Louis convention
was composed exclusively of people living
west of the Mississippi river, Besides all
this the permanent officers of the a~ssocia-
ton are st. Louis men, only one of whom
is even remotely connected with the cattle
business. ST. Louis is the point selected
for the second annual meeting and every
thing goes to show hat the whole affair
was simply and solely a selfish scheme to
boost the Future Great
In any event the bald-iaeed young per
son on the Naos should not permit him
self to worry about the views of the Wyo-
ming cattlemen on this particular subject
or his overcharged feelings may interfere
with his digestion, thus rendering him
positively i'll. We would suggest to him
a mild course Of dissipation with green
tea as his staple drink, in the hope that in
the ~intoxication which will follow, his
torpid brain may be aroused to sufficient
activity to wrestle with the puny problem
which kindergarten children hcreabouts
could long ago demonstrate with mathe-
NAUTICAL accuracy.
And now in the name Of a long-suffer-
ing public viii this callow youth be kind
enough to not infict US with any more Of
his drivel, or if not, will the management
Of the Netcs sensibly send him out to
pasture {?
, 1884-12-18
nupELY I~NrERRuPren.


Masror Basinoss-"
Western Piowmanl
The man Of business sat at his desk en-
crossed in some schcmo Of great Importance.
evidently for no covered a shoot of paper
with figures, wrinKled bis Forehead, aud
muttared amounts running up into thoh hun
dre I thopsandS-
He was rudely interrupted by n young
man WIS rushed in in great agitation, OK
claiming IN excited tones:
Mr. clearzteal your daughter Isabel has
cloped-"
But Mr.. clsarseeal, without looking up,
bold up ono finger, which gesture was always
understood around tho Office 70 mean shut
upi" and resumed his calculations -Six
napshts Is naught. six eights arc forty eight
-um, ah-not a bad margin for that deal
Now he remarked, looking up. what was
it you wanted to tell mo about Isabsl,
Blifkinsi' ..t.rtQ.
your daughter Isabel has oloped-"
-Hes, you mentioned that
with the coachman"
what with Johnfp
"Yes. sir, with John, the ~conchman.p
~uIui singular, very singular, = unused the
merchant II always took John 70 DO a
young man OF some sensei And so no has
eloped with my daughter Isabel Lot me
SEQ. which was Isabolr n .r ~-
"Your eldest daughter. sir; the f~air-haired,
queeniy blonde whose beauty capti-"
ayes, yes, l know-hAve thoy been gone
longf' sff
Not more than an hour. BY taking
prompt measures they can be o~vortaken, and
your daughter rescued foom a fate Iworse
than
"Don't believe I can spare the time To-
dhy,r said the merchant, looking at his
watch 1--we got an important -engagemont
with Hutton in half an hour, and II Pm not
much mistaken, I've got things fired 50 that
/ can skin him out OF a cool 10 ,OOOI" .
"But, good gracious Mr.. Clearsteal, think
OF the disgrace 70 your family
Sure enoughi / camo near forgetting
that My eldest daughter eloped with a
coachmnni Now, Blifkins, hear mel May
the curse of-by the way, while | think Of itI
don't forget to draw on Yelp & Whine for
tho balance OF that account, Confound 'em,
they've begged off long enough" ~.
And about your dnughter@"
20. yes; III run home for FIVE min utes and
leave orders TO have 7thom apprehended
Call John at once"
"You forget, sir; John has eloped WITH
"Yes, yes, 10 you told ms. Turribly fnconl
venient, tool IN have TO take the street
cars. May tho curses Of an outraged father
%, say, Blifkins, II jerks calls while Pm
gone, toll him | can't take that corn at thoss
figures. I think he's In a tight place and
will have 20 unload. And remsmber to
draw on Yelp & Whine, Bhfkins. And, by
the way, you might mention this little do
nestle affair, this clopement. you know, to
the reportefs. II will make n capital nd"
And the stern man OF business went out into
the cold world to intercept a Maynard. mis-
guidol daughter, who was fleeing from a
luxurious homo. -Tl
, 1884-12-18

The unkindest cut of all is the follow
ing from the Chicago Inter Dean Chi
cago people viii sympathize with George
G. Min in a terrible experience met with
while playing Hamlet at Red Gulch, A
T. According to a local paper a dog fight
began, and the combatiye CANNES jumped
on the stage just "a Hamlet was soliloqui1
ing on suicide. One Of them fastened his
teeth in Mr.. Miln's leg, causing a ghastly
wound. from which the sawdust poured
upon the stage Itwasa painful sight,
slys the dramaticc critic present, to see Mr..
Min shrinking from his wonted plump
aeA to a decided hhkriess. The sawdust
was collected and filed a bushel basket
, 1884-12-18

Chicago Trtbuno-l
Admiral Duncanis addresato tia officers OF
mis- fleet when they came on board his ship
for his final instructions previous TO tho
memorable engagement with Admiral do
Winter, was couched In tho following laconic
and humorous manner; ~Gentiemen Of my
foot you see a very severe Winter faai
approaching, and ! have only 70 adviss you
% keep u good arep HAW
, 1884-12-18

c. G. shayne. the well known Wholesale Eur
Manufacturer, los Prince street. Sew York,
est cash Wholesale. prices this season. This
viii afford a splendid opportunity TO purchase
and save retailers profits. Fashion Book maiied
free. 3 d Dr.. I| A AIN
, 1884-12-18
DR.. Spinney

Is well known as the founder of the Montreal
&C. E) MEDICAL INsTITUTE. and having given
his entire attenton1or the past twenty years 10
the treatment OF chrome and special diseases In
cident to both sexes. his success has Produced
astonishing results. By his method oft eatment
the suffering are fully restored 10 original
health. lie would call the attention OF the af-
ficted to the met Of his ~1Ong-standing aud well
earned reputation as a SUFFICIENT assurance OF
his skin and success. Thousands who have been
nnder his treatment have felt and expressed
emotions Of gratitude yelling up from hearts
touched for the inst time by the silken cord that
whispers OF returning health.
Those suffering from Catarrh or Bronchitis can
be assured OF a perfect cure by his new method
OF treatment. "a
DIR SPINNEY. can detect the slightest disease
Of the Chest, Lungs or any Internal organ, and
guarantees a cure in every case he undertake IS.
1t matters not what your troubles may be,
come and let the Doctor examine your case. IF
1T is HE WILL TELL YOU so
IF NOT, HE WILLTELL YOU THAT for he
Will not undertake a case unless he Is confident
of eneeting a cure II win cost you nothing for
consultation. so please call and satisfy yourselves
whether the Doctor understands your case.
, 1884-12-18

VIII NJ Clemans. From the woodshed to
the kitchen is a hard road to travel, but two
miles over a rough country road Is a lovely
walk TO a young MAI who accompanies I
young lady home after church
, 1884-12-18

Meet at Odd Fellows Hall at 1880 p.
IN first and third Wednesdays and
second and fourth Sundays at 2 p. m.
ii, T. GOODWIN. NJ. w. Y
JOSEPH GRAIEaER, r. S.
, 1884-12-18
Boys clothing at POlack $.

Innemont Patent, Longmout Patent
Longmpnt Patent
, 1884-12-18

Every smoker should try Little
Joker"
, 1884-12-18

Christmas cards at the Leader office.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27

The calamity which | stand in
dread of, and which is next 10 the
withdrawal of the divine blessing,
the greatest that church can suffer,
is that the rising talent, genius and
energy of our country may leave the
ministry of the gospel for other pro-
fessions. "a scandalous mainte-
nance" Matthew Henry says,
''makes "a scandalous ministry" And
| will give you another equally true.
''The poverty of the pulpit | have
no doubt about it. Genteel poverty,
to which some ministers are doomed,
is one of the greatest evils under the
sun. To place a man 10 circumstance
es where he is expected to be gener-
Gus and hospitable, to open his hand
as wide as his heart to the poor, to
give his family a good education, to
bring them up in what is called gen
teel life, and to deny him the means
of doing so, is enough but for the
hope OF heaven, TO embitter existence.
In the dread of debt, in many daiiy
notifications, man of cultivation
has trials to bear more painful than
the privations of the poor 1t is a bit
ter cup, and my heart bleeds fol
bretheren who have never told thei,
sorrows, concealing under their cloak
the fox that gnaws at their vitals.-
! DR.. Guthrie.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
BEER SHORTENS LIFE.

DR.. Andrew Mcfarland writes
thus: 1t is your stout old hero who
goes to bed every night with liquor
enough under his belt to fuddle the
brains of half dozen ordinary men,
and yet lives ont his three score years
and ten, that will be found at the
head of the stock that pour into the
world, generation after generation,
such stock of lunatics, epileptlcs,
eccentrics and inebriates as we often
see. Physical excess in such a man
does not do half the harm to himself
that it does to the inheritors of his
blood. The penalty must be paid as
sure as there is seed-time and har-
vest. The president of a certain
Life Insurance company has for years
been investigating the relation of beer
drinking to longevity. His object
was to know whether beer drinkers
were desirable risks to life compa-
ny. He declares, as the result of a
series of observations carried on among
a selected group of persons, habitual
drinkers of beer, that although for
two or three years there was nothing
remarkable, yet presently death be-
gan to strike, and then the mortality
became astounding and uniform in its
manifestations. There was no mis-
taking it; the history was almost in
variable. Robust, apparently health
full muscles, fair outside, increas-
ing weight, ford faces, then a touch
of cold or sniff of malaria, and in
stantly some acute disease, with al
most invariable typhoid symptoms.
was in violent action, and ten days
or less ended it. 1t was as if the
system had been kept fair on the out
side, while within it was eaten to 6
shell, and at the first touch of dis
ease there was utter collapse. Every
fibre was poisoned and weak. AnC
this in its main features, varying il
degree, has been his observation il
beer drinkers everywhere. 1t is pc
culiarly deceptive at first, it is thor
oughly destructive at last.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
THE PEOPLETO BLAME.

Sir Wilfrid Lawson at a recent
meeting said: Take drunkard. You
see the drunkard disgrace himself;
he is riotous and disorderly, and you
go up to him and say: ''What a
shame that you should be in this
state," but he says, ''Why do you
find fault with me was made drunk,
l was given drink; the drink was
sold to me in that public house"
Away you go to the pnblic house.
"Why did you (the landlord) give
that drunkard the drink that made
him drunk? ?" ''Me!" he says, Il was
only carrying out the law; look here;
here is bit of paper in my hand
that gives me that power; it is my
license giving me power to sell to any
one who comes in proper way. |
was only fulfilling my duty; it was
the magistrates, and off you GO and
say, "Why did you give that man a
license to sell the drink which made
that poor drunkard commit that
crime! % "Me," says the magistrate;
"Me why do you blame me? 1 was
only carrying out the law; look, here
is the Act of Parliament stating I
shall have the full power and discre-
ton to give licenses to anyone like,
l was only exercising my authority;
l was persuaded that the public house
would do a great deal of good, and I
licensed 1t. Don't blame me but 90
away to the House of Commons. You
find Col. Makins and Mr.. Barring,
and what you say is this II see you
have law allowing the publican to
sell the drink which causes all this
crime and Col. Makins and Mr..
Barring say, s'Well, why do you
blame us =? You sent us to Parliament"
All, we have got to an end now
(hear, hear = and tell you honest
ly think very little of those people
who go up and down the country
bowling and crying about drunken
ness, and the immortality of the work
ing classes and won't stir finger to
get the law altered which tends to
produce all this. Those good people
who shut their eyes and won't look
facts in the face are mainly responsi-
BILE for the drunkenness, vice and
crime which affiicts the country
English Paper.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
Loss and Gain.

CHAPTER 1.
81 was taken sick year ago
With bilious fever
Ny doctor pronounced me cured but
l got sick again, with terrible pains in my
back and sides, and got so bad
Could not move!
I shrunk!
From 22S lbs. to 12O! l had been doc
toring for my liver, but it did me no good
I did not expect to live more than three
months. / began to use Hop Bitters.
Directly my appetite returned, my pains
left me, my entire system seemed lenew-
ed as if by magic, and after using several
bottles, / am not only as sound as SOW
ereign, but weigh more than I did before.
To Hop Bitters owe my life.
Dublin, June 6, 81. r. Fitzpatrick.
CHAPTER II.
Maiden, Mass, Feb. 1, 1880. Gentlemen
| suffered with attacks of sick headache.
Neuralgia, female trouble, for years in
the most terrible and excruciating manner.
No medicine or doctor could give me
relief or cure, until 1 used Hop Bitters.
ssThe first bottle
Nearly cured me;''
The second made me well and strong
as when child,
ssAnd 1 have been so to this day.
My husband was an invalid for twenty
years with a serious
stKidney, liver and urinary complaint,
pronounced by Boston's best physi-
clans
s'Incurable.'
Seven bottles of your Bitters cured
him and know of the
'Lives of eight persons"
In my neighborhood that have been
saved by your bitters,
Aud many more are using them with
great benefit.
''They almost
Do miracles! !" Mrs. E. D. Slack.
How to Get Sick. Expose yourself day and night
eat too much without exercise; work too hard with
out rest; doctor all the time take all the vile
trums advertised, and then you will want to know
how to get WE'LL which is answered in three words
Take Hop Bitters!
Gg None genuine without bunch of green Hop:
on the white label. Shun all the vile, posonou:
stuff with ''Hop' or 'fHops'' in their name.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
SCROFULA

can only be cured by thorough purifica-
ton of the blood. Ii this is neglected,
the disease perpetutteS its faint through
generation after generation. Among its
earlier symptomatic developments are
Eczema, Cutaneous Eruptions, Tu-
mors, Boils, Carbuncles, Erysipelas,
Purulent Ulcers, Nervous and Ply
steal Collapse, etc. If allowed to con-
tinue, Rheumatism, ScrOfulous Ca
tarrh, Kidney and Liver Diseases,
Tubercular Consumption, and vari-
Gus other dangerous OF fatal maladies, are
produced by it.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
STATEMENT OF MRS. ELLEN e. BUTLER.
CHAIR ESTQWN MASS

Eighteen years ago was so sick with what my
physicians pronounced Consumption, that neither
my friends nor myself thought that it was possible
for me to recover. had a terrible cough, with
great loss of flesh, night-swcats, and had quite
severe hemorrhages as often as once week.
Seeing that was getting worse every day, from
the treatment of my physician, was induced to
call on Dr. Schenck one of his visits to Boston.
After examining my lungs he SAID that they were
sound. and that my trouble came from the liver,
which was so badly swollen and inlamed as TO
press on the lungs, causing the cough and hemor-
rhages. He prescribed his Pumonc Syrup, SeaWeed
Tonic and Mandrake Pills, which soon gave me
great relief, and by their use, for few weeks,
was entirely cured / have since advised their use
in great many cases of lung disease, and they
have always done all you claimed for them.
Mrs. ELLEN Z. BUTLER,
90 Elm Street, Charlestown, Mass.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
KINGS EVIL

Was the name formerly given to Scrofula
because of superstition that it could be
cured by kings touch. The world is
wiser now. and knows that
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
DR.. scHEMCK'S
Mandrake Pills

IMk.G1LGNAA (]GA~O =.
Do not prouce sickness at the stomach, nausea, or
griping on the contrary, they are SO mnd an1
agreeable in their action that person suerlg VIII
is speedily relieved of these distressing symptoms
They act directly on The Liver. the organ Wnlch
when in healthy condition, purifies the blood fol
the whole body. -
In all cases of Liver Complaint or DYSPEPSIA whe1
there il great weakness or debility, DIR. Schenck's
Seaweed Tonic should be used in connection
with these Pills
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
STATEMENT OF Mr.. JEREMIAH WYNN, OF
WORCESTER. MASS.

Four years ago last February 1 took heavy
cold and, being naturally weak in my lungs, it
soon settled there. l soon had all the symptoms
of Consumption-cough, night-sweats, pain in my
breast and Sides and was SO weak as to be confined
to my bed good deal of the time My disease
was pronounced to be Consumption by all the
physicians employed, and have no doubt that
it was for the disease is hereditary in my family,
three of my sisters having died of it. was sick
that was confined to the house for nearly year.
At last, by the advice of my wife, was induced to
use the medicines of DR.. Schenck of Philadelphia.
began to gain in strength very soon after began
to use them, and eventually was entirely cured.
When l commenced to take them only weighed
one hundred and twenty pounds; my present
weight is one hundred and sixty pounds, and
have excellent health all the time have never
had doubt but that DR.. Schenck's medicines
saved my life. I make this statement for the
benefit of those who are afflicted with lung disease,
as l thoroughly believe in the great curative pro-
perties of these medicines.
JEREMIAH WYNN,
Spoke and Wheel Manufacturer,
81 Irving st.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
Worcester Mass, Hay %, 1851.
WHY HAVE THE UTMOST CONFIDENCE IN
DIR. J. n, ScHENcK AND HIS MEDICINES.

DR.. ). H. ScHENcK AND HIS MEDICINES.
During the past two years my mother and
brother have died of Consumption was myself
quite unwen most of this time, and when, shortly
after their death, 1 was attacked with cough and
severe hemorrhages, naturally concluded that
was destined to go with the same disease. i'm
mediately consulted physician, who made spe-
cialty of lung diseases After examining me- he said
that he thought my lungs were sound, and that
would soon recover. In less than aWeek after this
had another severe hemorrhage. Thinking that
nv physician had made mistake in my case
consulted another doctor. He thought my lungs
affected and prescribed for me for long time
got no better under his treatment but generally
worse My cough was very bad my appetite en-
tirely gone had severe pain in my right side,
and for months did not sleep more than two or
three hours in night. My tongue was heavily
coated and had bad taste in my mouth had
the headache almost all the time.
Feeling that something must be done, l of last
concluded to consult with DR.. Schenck, the physi-
clan who / think, have good reason to believe,
to be the best in the treatment of lung disease.
went to his Office in Boston, and was examined
He found my left lung quite badly diseased and
my liver seriously affected He told NE that
could be cured if would follow his directions.
Of course 1 consented to do SO, and very soon
saw that my confidence in his ability was well
placed took the Mandrake Pills, Seaweed Ionic
and PuImonic Syrup, all at one time, as directed by
him, and within one month my worst symptoms
were gone. went to see the doctor on his next
visit to Boston, which one month after the
first time saw him, and he said Only continue
with the medicine and you VIII surely get Wen.
1 did SO, and kept ON gaining in every way until
1 was perfectly well, and able to work as usual
Since my recovery have not lost days time
doctor at his Boston Office. My cough is gone, my
appetite is good, have no headache or pain in
my side sleep better than ever qua IN my NE
hemorrhages.
These are the reasons why believe in and re-
commend Dr. ]. H Schenck and his medicines
He did lust what he said he would do for me, and
/ believe that owe my life TO his medicines and
care. FRED. F. TRULL.
Hudson Mass Mdu 25 1881
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27

Duicher's Dead shot
for Bed Bugs. Curls them up and lays them out as
fire does leaf. Use it and sleep in peace
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27

When WeII-Known People
write such Letters as these, who
can doubt the efficacy of DR..
Scfsnck's Great Medicines7
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
OXEN : FOR : SALE.

The subscriber has an extra yoke of six year-old
cattle which he would sell at reasonable rate.
Also haze one good work horse for sale.
GEO. w. BRIDGMAN
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
Ayers SarsaparM

Is the only powerful and dlWays reliable
bloOd-puritying medicine. 1t is so effect
ual an Alternative that it eradicates from
the system Hereditary Scrofula, and
the kindred poisons of contagious diseases
and mercury. At the same time it en-
riches and vitalizes the blood, restoring
healthful action to the vital organs and
rejuvenating the entire system. This great
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27
Absolute Cure

For all diseases caused by the vitiation of
the blood. 1t is concentrated to the high
est practicable degree, far beyond any
other preparation for which like effects
are claimed, and is therefore the cheapest,
as well as the best blood purifying medi-
cine, in the world.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1884-10-27

Is composed of the genuine Honduras
SdrsdpdriNd, with Yelloao Dock, Still
Hngid, the Iodides of Potassium and
Iron, and other ingredients of great po-
tency. carefully and scientifically COM
pounded. Its formula is generally known
to the medical profession, and the best
physicians constantly prescribe AYERS
SARSAPARIIIA ne an