The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1884-09-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Hanlon seems to have discovered the
rowed to wealth. Whitehall Times.
Talk about babies; but then, we
never indulge in small talk.-OhicG0o
Sun.
"Out on the fyl"is now the cry of the
infuriated bald-headed citizen.
Citizen.
A man will put his best foot forward
if he has a sore toe on the other foot
Picayure.
The rising of the tied-Turning out to
build the fire and cook the breakfast
Waterloo Observer.
STOPPING over to pick up a fair lady's
handkerchief loses its joy when it sacri-
fees suspender button.
Since pantaloons have been selling for
ten cents pair Detroiters have begun to
look quite dressy. Courier Journal.
"Ah, how do you vote this year,
Smith9'' "Same as 1 did last-at the
polls" And they passed on.-Boston
Post.
THAT was a clothes shave," said the
burglar as he. tumbled over the fence.
leaving part of his pantaloons with the
bulldog.-LVe.
In Cincinnati there is a soda fountain
called blizzard" 1t is probably so
called because so many men have been
ruined by it.-BoSt0n Post.
"No,n said Amy, 'I'll have the whole
hog or none.n ''Please don't say whole
hog" demonstrated the high school girl,
''say undivided porcine. "-DerricS.
Young physician-No, it is not in
good taste for a young physician when
writing to patient to sign himself,
Yours till death. "-SomerOiAe Jour
nal.
A bit of poetry floating around in the
papers is headed: ''Thee, Thee, Only
Thee" 1t is probably Jay Gould's ode
to the mighty dollar.--PhitGdelph1d
Chronicle.
"There that's the summer hotel for
me, said Bigsby, pointing at an adver-
tisement in his paper. None OF your
temperance houses. They advertise,
Hops every night. ."-BarLingtOn Free
Press.
If there is anything that will make
man cordially hate himself it is'when he
takes a walk about a mile to the post
office to find that he has left his keys at
home, and then on going back after
them to find on opening the box tnat
the only thing in it is card notifying
him that his box rent is due.-B0ston
Post.
At a fashionable ball, Miss Gattlefry,
who was rather careless in expressing
herself, approaches Mr.. McPeal, and
says: "Supper is ready. Why don't you
take lady to eatgn 'Be-be-because,
replies the suffering Mr.. McPeal Il
ner-ner-ner never e---e-eat la-la-
ladies'" Smart man, but he ought to
be killed. IrGCeLer.
THE BITTEREsT BITE.
The bite of a ''skeeter" is painful,
The bite of a bug will haunt;
The bite of a sandwich IS banetul,
At a railroad restaurant;
The bite of aserpent is sadd'ning,
And nothing is worse than this;
The bite of a bulldog is madd'ning,
While the bite of a girl is bliss;
But bite more painful than kerosene
Is the bitter bite of an apple green.
-NeiU OFk Journal.
A cookery book says, ''always smell
salt Goldfish before buying it," We al
wavs do, and after buying it, too-for
three or four days after. The fact is,
you can smell salted Goldfish without
buying it at all if you get within ten rod.
of where it is. The odor of a saltef
Goldfish is like the darkness that once
settled on Egypt; it is something tina
can be felt-S0merUilie Journal.
Oh, frolicsome insect, though far you may
roam,
Bee it ever so humble, there's no place like
comb;
| Where honey lies sparkling in beautiful wells,
/ Not even the tonlbs has more comfortable
sells.
Comb, Comb Sweet Combl
There's no place like ComDl
| Oh, he stung mel The brutel My PROPOSES
! is sore
Go back to your ugly y-thatched beehive oncc
more.
The wasps wax inpatient, the hornets are
mad
They want you; l don'tl When you go, IL
be glad!
Comb, Comb Sweet Comb
There's no place like Comb