The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1884-05-08
How Parrots are Tanght to RAN.

parrot. Ready-made elocutionists are
not always reliable. The lady president
of suburban Dorcas society who buys
a pretty poll from apoor seafaring man
is liable to be shocked some time or
another by the raey language of the
foreeastle, and the parrot that has had
its schooling on board a Thames barge
is apt to have an incOnvenient memory
for phrases which had much better have
been forgotten. The Partisan professor
would, of course, instruct his class of
birds in none save the most genteel of
phrases. But parrots, no doubt, talk at
random, and say more than they have
been taught-and nine times out of ten
the most Irrelevant confectionery now
and again hitting off a remark which
comes in SO exquisitely pat for the oc-
casion that every one is astonished. The
fact is, our world is very small, and,
like the fools 30 Lord, sirn it will be
found that man might really get
through life with very few sentences
indeed, and yet be considered of an av-
erage intellect. A parrot has only to
go on saying silly thing upon every
opportunity that offers, and the right
chance is certain to come round at last,
when its silly speech at once becomes
the happiest possible. For instance,
there was bird that said nothing but
''Here's pretty 60" and this was, as u
rule, neither opposite nor funny. But one
day the poor thing fell out of a cab WIN
dow, and the wheel of another cab pass
ing at the time crushed its cage. A spec
tator picked up the parrot, very much
alarmed, but not hurt, and, hearing it
murmur something, put the bird to his
ear, when to his astonishment the thing
in detected voice, whispered: Here's
pretty gon' Nothing could have been
more exactly in sympathy with the
situation or more innocent. But this is
not always the case. The respectable
maiden lady who purchases the sailor
| parrot is liable, on the slightest provo
| cation, or none at all, to find herself
| addressed, even in the presence of the
| clergy, in the gruffest and strongest
| language of boatswain. Parrots have
no respect for select company. They
| scatter their nautical terms broadcast
upon the just and upon the unjust, upon
the butchers boy when he calls for
orders and the new curate when he
drops in for afternoon tea. Like the
Afghans, if they have charge in their
| guns they must fire it off, 1t does not
matter what they fire at in the least; if
there is nothing better they will blaze
away at blank wall. They shoot their
arrows, as the prince does in the fairy
tale, at random, and by and by when
he comes to pick them up he finds one
| has pierced the heart of his venerable
| grandmother. So with the parrot. 1t
lets fly its familiar quotations" at
every mark or at none, and the time
comes some day or other when it inficts
a mortal wound upon the susceptibilities
that are slow to recover from such
shocks. So, as rule, it is the wisest
plan to educate ones own parrot.
This is not, of course, very easy to do.
for young parrots of q suitable educa-
tional age are not abundant in the
British isles. Yet when juvenile the
bird is very impressionable. Adult, it
is liable to be obstinate, and, like the
proud Briton who refused to truckle to
the German system of genders, it often
times learns a new language very i'm
perfectly. The old birds, indeed, show
extraordinary antipathies to syntax,
and get whims into their heads about
the construction of sentences which the
utmost patience or violence, as the case
may be, is powerless to dissipate. You
cannot disabuse an old parrots mind
of an error that it once has cordially
entertained. 1t has its own ideas OF
| grammatical proprieties and clings to
them like limpet. You can not shake
it on matter of English. You may
teach it another phase altogether, but
it will not forego the first. 1t will tag
the two together and mix them up-like
the protestant kettle'' of the immortal
Barnaby's rayen-but this compro-
mise is the best terms you will make
with the bird. When possible, there.
fore, secure young parrot, catch it al
a good school-board age, and then
teach it yourself. While doing SO keen
it away from the communicating in
fluences of street boys, for bakers
boy will teach it to ask: 'sWho kissed
the cook?' in half dozen easy lessons,
while you are wearing your DAYS out in
impressing ''God Save the Queen" upon
its memory, and after all, the odds are
the bird viii say: ''God save the cook"
Street cries, again, are to be avoided il
possible. 1t is not well to have bird
calling seats meat during family
prayers. But above all, the educator
of the youthful fowl should herself
be circumspect in her language
and careful of the pitch of the voice,
for it viii catch her scolding tones al
once and pick up Bother that cat!''-
in her exact voice, too-long before il
viii learn to say, ''Dear little puss.''
Those who have harsh laugh, Oh
suffer from catarrh, or an impeachment,
or any defect of speech, should choose
other pets than parrots guinea pigs OF
squirrels, or some other harmless
dumb animals-for these birds have
perfect malicious aptitude for hitting
off such weak points. If old Mr.. Wei.
Ter had kept good parrot at the Mar.
luis of CRANKY the position of Stiggins
would have been impossible; the mimic
would have utterly routed the snuffiine
rascal. So that the difficulties in. the
way of bringing up ones own bird are
considerable. But if it can be accom-.
plished the result will abundantly re.
pay the labor, were it only in keeping
the posseSsor's mind free from anv dis.