Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1884-08-09
Saturday Smiles

a writer says that love makes young people
frank and honest with each other. Wei. it
ought to. They always meet face to face
Boston Transcript
Acolorefl girl at Newport wears $40 900 worth
or diamonds. 1t is not known whether she is
the daughter Of Pullman porter or hotel
Cal.
An opera troupe has been mastered entire in
Algeria. 1t is never safe to keep an audience
waiting more than an hour and three-quarters
between the acts.-Philadeipllia Cal.
whats this thing?" asked man who was
Inspecting a music store. That? Oh, that s
used on violns. We call it chin rest
Gimme one" exclaimed the visitor. "S'pose
it would work on my wife :"-Burlngton Free
Press.
Anyhow, Explorer Greedy is too thin to lee
ture for some months to come.-Philadelphid
Times.
IT you compliment a young lady by observing
to her that she has shell-lke ears, be very care
full that you are not at the time watching boat
race.-B0StOn Post
1t turns out that Poe never had bust of Pal
las Still it must have been some kind of a
bust. for there is internal evidence that when he
wrote that poem he was rayen.-IhiIddelDtid
Call
Mr.. Smitll-"JOnes. don't object to music.
but when that dog of yours banks all night |
think it a little too much" Then YOU don't
appreciate Offenbach. life.
Familiarity" says an exchange, "does not
always breed contempt. For instance, there is
the girl and the ice cream" True; but YOU
don't know anything about the Ice creams opin-
ion Of the grl.-Rorbl,.y Adc0cdte
1t is mean father who as early as 1850 at
night will scare his daughter from her Alphon-
SOS arms by yelling from the top of the stairs,
"Sarah. wind up the clock. 1t must have run
down" Philadelphia Gail.
A retired base-balst Of some literary skill
was asked to write an epitaph for man who
had just died after marrying his third wife. The
eX-batter produced the following terse but eX-
pressive sentiment: :'Out On third. '-B,vliaCton
Free Press.
young cadet at West Point it is said. owns
and wears in quick succession eighty pairs of
white trousers. OF such material are heroes
made cadet who can stand the fatigue and
hardship entailed in the duty of putting on and
taking Off eighty pairs of white trousers In
quick succession will experience sort of holt
day when he is out on the plains fighting red
skins and finds he hasn't time to change his
trowsers oftener than once in two or three
days.-AOrristO,Cn Herald.
Young lawyer-"There now. think that is
doing pretty well for man admitted to the bar
only year ago. This paper refers to me as a
legal light" Frank friend-.'I am not sur
prsed." Young lawyer-'You really expected
it, them" Frank irend-"Yes | know the
editor. He was speaking of you the other
day." Young lawyer-''indeed? And what did
you were about the lightest member of the
Philadelphia bar. "-Phitddelphia Call
What He Would Say.-A married couple were
out prOmenading in the suburbs of Austin one
day. Presently the wife said: 'Think, Albert.
if the brigands should come now and take ME
from YOU" Impossible, my dear" "But.
supposlng they DID come and carry me away,
what W0TI0 CQVrn ho,,ll oax ~ n,>I;n 4
the husband, that the brigands were new at
the business. That's all. "-Ieras Siftings.
1t is better not to know so much than to
know SO many things that amt so.-Josh Bill
ings.
TWAS announced that President Arthur would.
on Monday. dine with Mr.. Dnsmore Away out
here nobody knows who Mr. DinsmOre is. but it
whose pantaloons it would be impossible to dis
cover the slightest fault LOuisoiUe Courier
Journal.
Doctor, do wish you would tell me what
there is that can do to keep me from growing
stout! 1t is horrible thing for a woman to be
as stout as l am"
take exercise, my dear lady-that is all!
Consider the trees of the neld-they never take
any exercise, and as a consequence. they 60 on
growing bigger and bigger every year."
Life is like a harness. There are traces Of
care, lines OF trouble, bits of good fortune.
breeches Of good manners. bridled tongues and
everybody has tug to pull through Worces-
ter Gazette.
Lord Houghton wonders why the moon looks
pale and sad. If his lordship were full once a
month and reduced to his last quarter regu-
larry he would soon cease to wonder Graphic.
little Austin boy saw. his mother take of
her switch one day, and called out: 20, man.
MAJ Let us take your scalp out in the yard, SO
that we can play Indians" .--7eras Siftings.
''Going out with your bride to select your
tableware. are you? Well, young man, let me
give you hint. Buy light cups and small
plates. Many man and wife have been seri-
ously injured in dispute by big plates" And
old Mr.. Budger chuckled and rubbed his head