Wessington Springs herald. (Wessington Springs, Aurora County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1891, 1884-02-29
The Pet Of the Family.

AS "a OAO xAuAl1yO
"You board at the Sculpin's, don't
inquired the druggist, as he did |
up q dimes worth of tar troches for a
young man of, evidently, sedentary pur-
suits.
yes" answered the youth, toying
with a graduate which emitted a strong
OF spIritus trumenti, 81 have lived
with the sculpin family, now, for going
on three years, and never lost a meals
"What about that literary so~iety
which meets once a week? l heard that
it convocated at Sculpin's the other eve
ming, and broke up in a row."
"No, that a mistake" saidthe Young
man. cit didn't eliminate in a row,
exactly, still there was considerable hi
larity and convivial snickering around
in the corners. 1t was all on account
of hereditary genius.n
Hereditary genius! How's thatP"
"You see, Mrs. Sculpin has a record
for poetry running away hack in her
teens. She is q regular attendant on
an.the literary fandangos, one of the
pillars of the society, and she writes the
strongest kind of narcotic elegies and
odes-
Narcotic elegiesr' exclaimed the
druggist.
"Yes, sleep compelling sonnets,
strophes and antistrophes. Well, Jeems,
he, too, is an hereditary poet, the pet Of
the family"
"Who' s Jeems?"
ether son, Jeems Sculpin, eleven
years old by the watch, red-headed and
with eyes like a goldfish. But Jeems
has got the divine afflatus.
HAS, eh?'
''Got it bad. 1t broke ont, though.
for the first time at the meeting of the
literary society which you thought broke
up in a row. Jeems has written a good
deal for a boy of his age, but the other
night was the first chance given him TO
unload any of it on the public. But one
of the literary young ladies had heard
it rumored that Jeems was a poet, and
nothing would do but Jeems must be
brought into the parlor and allowed to
spout. The skinny little chap stood up
there, before the whole assembly Of
google. eyed aesthetics and budding liter
att in a blue flannel sailor s lit with two
inches of naked knees just above the
red stockings, and opened out q whole
battery of poetical Calling guns on the
audience. You should have seen that
Sculpin family wilt. They went down
one by one, as though they were mo ~od
by grape and canister. The old lady
herself was the first one to catch it. 1
got Jeems to show me his verses after
the matinee was out, and copied EN-
off," and the young man of sedentary
pursuits took out a note book.
"Jeems rasped out his larnyx and
commenced this way:
Mamma has gone and went in debt,
But don't you tell papa,
She makes the money fly, you bet,
When down at the bazaar.
"She bought a sealskin switch and sacque,
Il And cuttings for the winders;
A chatolaine and bric-a-brac,
It's busted pa to flinders"
Mrs. sculpin jumped up and started
across the DON to snatch the kid bald.
headed, but old Sculpin held her back,
and while the whole literary outfit were
bowling like dervishes, the injured lady
slipped out into the. kitchen to look
after the chicken FILINGS. Then Ma.
tilda was given her medicine. The poet
walled:
"Matilda she's my sister dear,
A mashercSS from way back;
She's got q beau, my eye, he's queerl
Us boys have named him Sway Back
"He thinks hos got a tenor voice,
l call it only hooting;
And every time he makes a noise
The %neighbors go to shooting.
9Then the beau danced out into the
hallway after his hat and overcoat, and
I do believe Matilda would have com
mitted fratricide right there if the rest
of the literati had not tried to hold hc1
down in her chair where she kept
humping up and down like a
railroad car on the cross-ties.
While Matilda's brother Fred was
trying to calm, soothe and sustain her
in her hour of atfliction, the pet of the
family broke out in a new spot:
"sThere's brother Fred, the daisy dude,
O, isn't he a corkcr?
One day last week poor Fred was sued
by his tailor, Mr.. Walker.
"sThc Sheriff took his pantaloons,
You should have seen him kick.
He stays at home now, afternoons,
And tries to play or Sick
ssFred was at that moment telling a
young lady he thought his sister would
be better when she recovered, and he,
too, was Immediately Frustrated. He
said he guessed he would go down and
send up some NOR coal. Old man
Sculpin laughed till he broke his sus
penders, and just after he had got
through quizzing Fred about the room
being warm enough, judging by his
face, the ~infantile poet fired another
shot. Mrs. Sculpin had entered the
| room.
"'Papn, he is a duffer, fly,
His teeth are plugged with zinc,
He kissed the cook upon the sly.
., what would mamma think?
"He buy his coaloil by the keg,
And drinks it by the schooner;
1t queers him in his StarbOard leg,
1 tell you, hes sooner
"'Suffering Cyrus! howlcd Mr.. Soul
| pin, jumping up on to both his star
board and port legs, there, there, that
will do for one evenings entertainment.
For a small boy you are the biggestliar
in fourteen counties. I've a notion to
break every bone in your body!'
"'But I've got something rich about
Mrs. Calldown and Mrs. %Putuporshut-
up, and Jane Maria Cruickshank,'