The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1884-04-03
Anecdotes OF Great Men.

| ORn, bHlveIcu ocofko W. VaShih5-
ton one winter morning, lis this cold
enough for you. MarthyY"
Eyes, George, / think it is. / really
do believe it is the coolest weather we
have ever had"
"Tut, tut, Marthy; I've seen it colder
than this a number of times. Once
when / was west of the Alleghen es
surveying, / struck cold wave, Vennor
or Hazen would have run from, as for
| Virgins, it would have paraliZed him
| in fourteen places. You see Marthy,"
and he hunched his chair up nearer the
| fire, 81 went out with the transit to run
line about three miles across valley
from the top of one powerful high hill
to another. / remember dist nelly how
that line run; beginning at stone five
perchss south of the middle OF the
boundary line of a previous survey and
running south degrees, east 40
perches to stump, thence south Al de-
grees, east 80 rods to stake, and so
on. Well, Marthy, we got it run at
last, and the stakes drove. and we were
so cold we had to go TO the shanty and
take little something warm. About
two hours afterwards we went out
again, and Marthy would you believe
it? that blamed line was frozen stiff
and stretched from hill to hill, with the
stakes hanging on to 1t like so many
clothes pins on wash day"
"George, dear" interrupted his wife,
in reproying tone
"Oh, that's all right. Marthy, the
stakes were very short ones, for cut
'em myself the day before with my
Ratchet and know about 'em. They
were cut to measure two feet and a
half, but the cold weather shrunk 'em
to eight inches, inside Of sixteen hours,
| and there wasn't so much of strain on
the line as you might think"
WILLIAM FEM.
"AIr. Penn" remarked the book
keeper, "did you see that Indian gentle
man who called last EVENING"
mo, Charles, did not Did thee
tell him would be N this morning?"
ayes, sir. He has some land which
he wishes to sell to the pale faces. lie
has heard how kindly you have ever
treated his people, aad he wants to give
you an option on it.
My good Charles" said William,
wiping the tears from his eyes, did
thee inquire with reference to the situa-
ton of the land, and The productive
ness thereof"
yes, sir, it is very desirable tract"
"And Charles, did thee inquire ii the
noble red man wanted cash, or would
trade it out?"
Eyes, sir. He said trade was good
enough for him"
very we'll, Charles. Thee had bet
ter pick out portion of the cloth
which the moths have in lured slightly,
thee will find a few dozen tracts III the
barn, and Charles, get some of those
secondhand boss pis OILS, and thee will
find some very pretty trinkets at the
5-cent counter in the William Penn
Mutual Dry Goods Emporium. And,
Charles, when he comes aga n, have
the hydrnt in running order. We
must eschew all intoxicants, Charles,
when water is SO cheap Now, Charles,
thee may go, but thee will do well to
lay for the redskin.
DIoGENEs.
Hello, Diogenes," said a policeman,
on a cold morning, as that worthy gen.
tleman put his head out of his tub and
looked out at the town clock to see
what time it was. Hello, is this cold
enough for your
No, copy, it isn't; but if it keeps on
it will be?"
Il don't see what you want it any
colder for"
"Of course YOU don't. What does
policeman know about the philosophy
of the Greeks, the precepts of the
Stoics, the teachings of the Peripat lies,
or anything of that sort? Go soak your
head"
Hold on, Dolly don't get mad. l
never harmed n living soul in my whole
life, at least in my whole life as a po-
liceman. Now tell me why you want
it colder. won't give the snap away"
Gall right, copy, I'll tell you. You
know I've been around town every day
for years, with an old lantern, looking
for an honest man, and if the weather
gets little colder, j know q plumber
who will have made money enough
since last fall to retire from business
in The spring, and as soon as he retires
he is going to be honest, and I'll have
chance to set my lantern down in front
of his palatial residence and go off on
vacation. BY Zeus, old fellow, you
don't know how Internally tired I've
got Juggling that old glim around. -
lToroloa,f T',.o,,oloY