Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1884-09-27
W. va, SATURDAY, SEPT. q, 1884
its head,n said the man with the
cold taa schnna

it's head,n said the man with the
cold tea scheme.
As nothing had been SAID about
marriage by any one present, and,
indeed as nothing had been said on
any subject for some time, it was
evident that the man with the cold
tea scheme had been lost in profound
meditation, and his remark was sim
| ply an oracular decision, based upon
sileace-matured reflection.
"It's a natural proclivity of the
human race that is indulged in when
every effort has been made to pre-
vent its success" he added.
How do you make that out ~
asked the thin man without shirt
collar.
Easy enough" replied the man
with the cold tea scheme, cycling the
stovepipe argumentatively; that
which commences in deception, it is
natural to expect, willend in distaste,
and the great surprise should be
that so many marriages result hap
PLY. How many men in the world
marry the women whom they think
they are counting, do you suppose ?
And how many women secure the
man who comes counting themi
Very few very few indeed. During
the courtship each uses every decep-
ton upon the other. They dress for
an impression they talk for an inn
preston; they act for an impression,
and they interest one another for an
impression.
When marriage is consummated,
this impression, deception, is thrown
aside, and then, for the first time,
each commences to know the other.
The delightful taffy of courtship
gives place to the mattcr-of.fact mo-
lasses that goes on the connubial
batter-cakes.
The sweet compliance with each
others wants and opinions turns into
a very prosaic desire to have ones
own way, and have it respected.
He does not shave as frequently
as he used to, apparently, and she
looks altogether different in stock
ings and curl papers from the de-
| lightful young person he formerly met
in the front parlor. Then she dis
covers that he snores, and also has
an unpleasant habit in his sleep of
rolling over and taking all the bed.
clothes along with him a habit pre-
sumably contracted in his bachelor
years, but one which she finds very
reprehensible. And he discovers
that she has opinions of her own, and
also has her own way of expressing
them, and that they sometimes con-
flict with the gracious reliance in
him as the law and the gospel pre-
scribe, that so tickled him before
marriage.
He growls and she pouts. He
swears and she cries. In fact, both
| find they are married to quite diff
| ferent person from the individual of
the front parlor days. If they are
sensible people, right there, the mo-
ment they discover they are entirely
different persons from the ones they
presumed to meet, they will COM
mence to do their counting all over
again and on a new basis of curl
papers, snores, roll overs, and each
others whims and ways, as it may
be explained.
If they do so, they will be happy,
and if he is man of superior pene-
tration, he will every now and then
indulge in period of conrtship that
shall be just as fresh, just as earnest
and just as full of those little endear-
ments that are so precious to a wo.
mans heart, as they were before he
knew her in stockings and curl.pa-
pers.
Ninety-nine women out Of q hun
bred want to be loved, and if they
are loved, they are clay in the hands
of the potter. But the couple, who,
after marriage commence looking
for the persons they met in the front
parlor and complain because they
never find them, are apt to lead a
dreary life, if they do not bring up
in a divorce suit.r
"Well," said the clerk as he poked
the stove, that is why l say marri-