davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31
HUMOROUS.


Hght-aoouU lace--'"o ''i''
\ long race The human race
A ny-trap-The professional base
ballist's hands
The favorite flower for most laoleS
Marry gold.
The. musician misses the notes when
notes the misses.
If turkey is a gobbler IS a young
turkey goblet
a young lady may be banged d"
day long and yet not feel broWDeaVeI''
a teacher ol music Is ne'es9'',, s
good teaeher oec'o9e n7 - ''''
structor.
"Everything is fair in war says 'he
adage, and the worst thing about W"
is the fare.
Berlin has monthly paper oe'o''u
to cremation. 1t publishes some poin
( my VI uOll9.
zone must creep before he can
walk" as the small boy said when he
crawled under a circus tent
Poetry is the sister OF sorrow
writes Mr.. Andre, who has evidently
been having narrow escape from
newspaper office.
,,.t;oo,ishol antbor saws: There
= ~ -, ,,a,,at;on without merit" Re
; -y-----r-------------r-sa :.
'11''''l' ''',' "'e'i 'i0 i'o'ei 'i'i ~ "9-
80 Y' " '00'" ." ''i0 i'n'
A' 'olIege eNanlrauon' a pro1es
SoF asked Does my question eth-
Ol'ra9S you NOT at all, slr' re-
Pi'e' l''e aOuoeht-'ho' at al IL Is
q"''o eleoI' IL Is 'le answer 10 II thai
oo'herS ne
+" Did any Of your children ever see
an elephant skim" inquired the school
teacher " Yes echoed several voices
IN chorus " Where continued the
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31

i Mr. r.. sun visible.
q, '"ffett Z. Serviss, the lecturer
An,s. as'ronomy and Secretary of the
noa ADierl'an Astronomical Society. saws
People generally have no idea wbat
surprising % phenomena these red snn.
,g '9 VI sun glows really are. Even vet
lucy may be seen in clear weather
,'O0gn less distinctly than last win
w. Ihere is an accompanying pbeno-
,siion which you may behold apv fair
1'F surrounding the sun. When the
WI S's' behinl a small cloud or the
n.,-... n1oe VI a bnilling you will see a
"'''Sn h1lo around it, which is often
,, '-OV'ed with pink or salmon color.
" mistake to assume, as many per
=, ,Yu' u' That either the red sunsets or
'''' A"lo around the sun are common
"ppe'r'hees which have always ex-
,''e' g IN the Sky. They made their
nlSt appearance in these latitudas
ABOUT year ago, and, as Prof. Arcbi.
Ya'0 mas pointed out, while the sunset
S'I"S nave diminished in intensity, the
"alos have remained unchanged and
"e just as distinct to-day as they
% we're ten or twelve months AGO
aioFeorer, they have been seen all over
.He world, and it of course becomes
necessary in attempting to account
vi Inem, to find some cause CAPABLE
y aie.Jing the atmosphere of the
!" "nole earth. At the Montreal meet
ing oil the British association. a report
was made in behalf of committee in
Nlglanj' which has been gathering
''iuence from every quarter of the
e"' "a about the red sunsets. This re-
polV showed that those phenomena
were not visible before the Krakatoa
" 0P'lon' ana that they were first seen
u 'he nelghborhood of that island,
RON which they seemed to spread in
all directions until the morning and
evening skies over the whole earth
We're atlame with the marvellous light
Inc Inference is that fine dust thrown
from the Krakatoa volcano into the
hlsheT regions Of the atmosphere was
borne by air currents around the whole
planet, and that the reflection of the
suns rays from this dust caused the
glowing skies and other strange phe
nomona that were subsequently wit.
messed IN every country of the globe
But men of science are not entirely
satisfied with this theory.-Boston
Herald
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31
How Llszt Fed His Audience.

Inc composer was making a tour n
france during which he came to 3
PROVINCIAL town where he was to give
q performance; but when all was
Rady to begin, the audience was
bund to consist of seven jndividuals
only. List, nothing daunted, mount.
Cd the platform with a bland smile
upon his face. and. bowing suavely tc
the almost empty benches, said, LA.
dies and gentlemen, this is a most un.
comfortable hall; therefore, if it will
he agreeable to you, l will have the
piano taken to the hotel where ] am
staying, and there, where we shall all
be much more at our ease, l will play
through the programme
Theproposal was cheerfully accept.
ed by the seven guests, who adjourned
to the hotel, where List not only
went through the entire programme,
but afterward pressed his audience tc
partake OF a Slight hut recherche sup
per he had ordered for them. Next
evening, on the occasion of a second
concert, the hall was full to suffoca-
tlon, and many had to be turned away
at the doors.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31
Queer Railroad Depnrlm ents. +.

The Missouri Pacific ha, an official
who is in charge Of queer depart
ment, says the Raihroy Register lie
looks after those people who wish
their friends transported from one
point to another and yet are afraid to
trust them with the money For in
stance, a dissipated man is stranded in
Texas. His friends in the East are
willing to pay his way back, but don't
want to send him any funds, for fear
that he viii sguander them in such a
case the money is paid to the company
and this agent looks after the matter
and the conductors alone handle the
tickets. So with sick people who are
without money the company receives
pay from their friends and brings them
home. Children are also cared for aDd
transported long distances. 1t is sSs~
prising to learn how often the services
of this official is required, and he is
kept busy all the time in answering
inquiries and perfeeting arrangements.
The advantages are obvious. A
person is at one end of the country,
say in Texas, penniless or untrustwor-
thy. His family in Boston 60 to the
agent of the Missouri Pacific and there
pav in advance enough to cover the
cost Of a ticket, meals and berth in a
sleeping car. The receipt Of the money
is reported by telegraph to the home
office and the distant wanderer is re
turned to his friends in safety.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31

A sick headache is oftentimes called .
a bilious headache, but this is incor-
rect: for a bilious headache there is a
copious secretion of bile with yel-
low skin and iaundice, and when this
is absent even if there be vomiting 1t
is not bilious headache. Sick head
aches results from imperfect diges-
tion and arise either in the stomach
or intestines from the irritation OF the
nervous apparatus Of the aiimentary
canal by the resulting depraved Sc
cretlon. The nerves of the stomach
are derived from an important nerve,
the pneumogastric, which originating
in the brain passes downward and IS
distributed to the lungs and stomach,
and any irritation in the latter organ
may produce headache by sympathetic
action
The I-agous membrane of tht
.---.,ss..a @he8'thv condition is Of
pale c6fos-@4fen at lest, but when foot
comes IN contact with it the mechani
cal action induced by the friction anC
motion causes the blool vessels c
dilate and the surface to become red
Thesecretion of gastric juice is effecteo
by the state of the nervous system
and sudden mental emotion is able t
stop it entirely This it does through
the pnuemogastric nerve, for this con
trols the secretion of the gastric juice
Unwholesome food which disturb.
digestion will cause acute dyspepsi;
in some persons, who are extremely
pronet) sick headaches; pain and un.
easiueis in the stomach. faintness, de.
preston of spirits, lassitude and
feyershness are the indications of ap
approaching sick headache.
An oppressive frontal headache sue
ceels with nausea, dread of light and
noise; vomiting often gives immediate
relief Sick headache may come in a
few hours after eating, or the patient
may 60 to bed comfortable and wake
up unrefreshed with heavy feeling
across the forehead, and the hea lache
soon sets in. This form of headache
can be tracel to some error in diet
Withthe advance of years they become
less acute but more exhaustive and
tedious in their recovery. Rest in bed,
cold applications, with an occasional
dose Of nux vomica, will relieve the
acute symptoms, but the radical cure is
to be found only in strict attention to
the diet. -Practjcal Farmer.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31
NO. 80.


Ihe hu niu- -aud of q distant lwl
Glcm. rcl with the bleol of the slain,
&uJthc ,u,iu. sun cn 6 cmn'ge dfne
shed. ID, rcl Ii sht over the pl1in.
AMI its lurid glare ON the features fair
Ola youthful sol Hsr Us,
Who is hing de I'D ot his horses head
Nctr lhc c,pturcl c,'ys walls
Anil his tuscr> clasp clltiu OF gold,
TIc..c close TO the liele,s breast,
Arlo lgc ol truth 70 the l,plcss youth
From d nl.lil in the tranquil West.
But aftr. aftr the samo bright star
That loolet lmly upon the deld,
Looks cilnl4 down ,n y lovely town
Where ppuee hath is mantle spread.
And maiden fair with golden hair
looks down from a easement high,
Her features glow as Size hears below
A lovers impussioucd sigh.
Her thoughts do not dwell on him who ieh
For his king in the distant hght
Though sic vowed lcr truth to the trusting
youth,
She re ives new lover tonight
-Feiin " Gerson'
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31
oOmethIng In a Name.

A's. onndiet. did you read about
those awful opium joints"
INN Boarder-"No. l had no
time
Mrs. slimdiet.-"The paners saw
tnel' . no'1lng attractive about them
a. 'ii' gu gu' on the contrary everything
about them is repulsive.s .
INN boarder-"No doubt of that "
~.S ,,,aa ',nalet.-"I wonder why they
,aat lti- 1Iapde a9poarder (wrestling with his
smeh l, tougb gtb'ol9Ably because they are
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31

re :" young women begin married
"iiuer such terrible disheartening
',OHlsIanees as Miss Louisa Alex.
u'a Williams Wynn, whose wedding
r,n o puollcly celebrated in Welsh
s,a'' aiase' y named Llangadfan, Lanu-
Rb,.1 l,lyh' Llanrhaiadr, Llangedwyn.
itfrsiG rGiGycroesan, Pontfadog, Llansalnt-
LlanvbloaGaliyyin Glyn Geriog, Trawsfynydd.
msir |r n,l ol9dwel. Llangyniew, Llanbryn.
ni"ir and Machynlleth ''iyh-
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31

There is one people who may be
called "a nation of rascals" without
slander. In Morocco every man IS
regarded as thief. The respectable
elements of society are those who do
not seek opportunities for pilfering'
but merely improve casual chances.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31

1t is strange if not a solemn
thought that the American of the age
may, at any time, be laughing at Jokes
which can hardly have been freSp
when the glacial period came to an
end, and the cave men were wagglns
their dolichocephalic heads at one an
other. and working their prognatnoa'
jaws over their banquets of raw meat
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31
The Most Useful Branch.

"nat branches do you find most
a9'iul 10 your pupils?" asked a visitor.
n professor at the University of
any branch is good, but I find that
- branches from birch tree are the
ui0st useful of ALL" ."-SVtinqs.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31

General Samuel Draper of Lancoa-
ter, is the smallest voter in Wiscon
sin. lie is twenty wears Old
forty-eight inches high, and weighs
fifty-Gye pounds.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1884-10-31

Forty-five thousand men are w"''"
making in Switzerland
The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1884-04-19
FOR LOSING A MINUTE
A Cashier was sDischaTged..the Prompt
Business Methods of New York.

1pecfdt (DTTe sI1OudcnCc OF The Chronicle.
New YORK, April 15-Although man.
if he only have very moderate and mod
est income, can hive as he please in New
York, he cannot work as he please. He
must work as somebody else pleases, and
as the straining and even, perhaps, un-
natural requirements of the severest busi
ness competition demand This, after all,
is the chief difference between the life of
the average man in the metropolis and life
in the country-especially in the South.
There is no putting off anything till to-
morrow. There is no possible relief from
the pressing and important work on hand
to-day. Tomorrow will be too late The
whole chance and necessity will be gone.
If anything is postponed or done wrong,
it can seldom be corrected and seldom
done at all-at least in almost every de-
partment of daily work this principle holds
almost as rigid rule. And it holds alike
with messenger boys and the active man
ayers of great enterprises.
The telegraphic messenger service, for
instance, is so organized that the mana
gers Of stations know to the minute how
long boy ought to be gone to deliver a
message to any point. If it cannot be
promptly delivered, the boy no more dares
wait than he dares go off to play; and,
if he is not back on time, that is the last
of him.
| The best trained business men in the
world have been trained under such sys-
| em--cOrrespOndents, clerks, bOOk-keepers,
men in every department of business life.
/ saw capital illustration at a drug store
the other day. A gentleman came in and
| bought something that cost 43 cents.
He was promptly waited on received
his 43 ct. check and quickly presented ii
| to the cashier behind the little desk neal
the door. The cashier was slow. He was
sitting down reading, and it was perhaps
a whole minute before he arose to give the
cents change. The purchaser was greatly
vexed, but said nothing. He simply walked
back to the clerk and laid card on the
counter remarking that he could not wait
for change AS he walked by the cashiers
desk again, he was offered the cents
He did not turn his head but went quickly
out A note of apology was written, :
cents enclosed, messenger boy called and
it was sent to him so quick that if he baG
far to go, the boy must have overtaken him
The next day observed a new cashier
there. 1t was all caused by the loss of not
more than a minute. Such an occurrence
as this is not caused by whim: it is 6
necessity. Unless an employee or man
ager is absolutely prompt, and absolutely
accurate, of what value is he The differ
ence between accuracy and lnaccuracy /:
| the difference between success and failure
| The value of time causes New York peO
pie, l imagine, to have the best time-piece:
in the world Thousands and thousand:
| of people can be seen any day at noon eX
amining or adjusting their watches whe1
the time-ball falls on the great Equitable
| Building.
The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1884-04-19
Bill Arp on Buncombe.


Asheville is the county seat of Bun
combe, the county that long years ago
sent man to the Legislature and he made
a speech half a day long, and everybody
but the speaker and the clerk left the hall
and after awhile the speaker called his at
tention to the vacant seats, and he said he
didn't care for that for he came there to
represent Buncombe and he was speaking
for Buncombe and should continue to speak
for Buncombe until he got through. Well,
they have some of the same sort Of folks
left in Buncombe yet Folks who are
proud of their town and rivers and noun
tains and climate. | heard lots of them
talk in Asheville and it wouldn't be eX-
actly safe for a stranger to 90 there and
holler school butter in their presence.
They say that after dame nature got
through making mountains and ravines
and had piled them all around in grand
profusion she had few hundred acres of
choice earth left and big lot of delight
full climate and couple of beautiful riv-
ers that she had saved for the last and so
she quit working because she was tired
and threw these treasures down right
where Asheville is, and they are there yet
That is what Judge Aston told me and
my opinion is he believes it.
The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1884-04-19
NEW ORLEANS EXPOSITION.
W hat DIR. Dabney says of the Prepara-
tiOns Making for 1t.

Dr. Dabney on Tuesday returned jubi
lantly from New Orleans whittier he had
been according to the instructions of the
Board of Agriculture to look into the out
look for the grand exposition which is to
he there next winter.
And what is the outlook, Doctor p
There Is but one thing to believe or to
>ay-they are going to have very mag
niticent exposition. They are at work on
the main building which alone will cover
b acres of ground. Big isn't it? They
have 5000 600 already, and they have not
yet tapped" the real moneied corpora
tions. These 5000, 600 have been got from
private persons and business houses. They
expect to make it million dollar affair.
''Drector- General Burke, who, by the
way, is the busiest man | ever saw, told
me that if they had accepted all the ap-
plcations they have had for space, all their
space would now be taken. They have yet
granted no space except to State and city
and other collective exhibits.
What a wonder the floral display will
be. They have chance of course that no
other great Exposition ever had, by reason
os their climatic situation. And the bota-
nc display will be thing seen but once in
lifetime. The city of New Orleans itself
Is building the great glass house where all
tropic vegetation in its gorgeous variety
viii be seen, and it will keep it as per
mauent ornament of the city's park. OF
course, a great deal of rare and beautiful
things in botany will be out of doors.
1T Will be such a chance to see Mexico,
luba, the West Indies and some of the
Central and South American States as has
never before been in the world. President
Diaz Of Mexico, has become deeply inter
ested, and our sister Republic will take adj
vantage of its new opening to the rest OF
The world by rail to show us what it has.
Big Monstrous big (.
The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1884-04-19
Wake Forest Reading Room.


WAKE FOREST COLLEGE, April 15.-Re-
citations are done at IA o'clock and then,
after dinner, an average of perhaps fifty
room The doors are kept open for two
hours every day, except Sunday. Almost
every class Of periodicals has its admirers,
though the dailies are read more than
any others. Every one first wants to find
out the news, and then he is ready for
something more substantial Among the
dailies the New York Herald, the NeeUs
and Observer and the Morning Star are
scanned with more Zest than any others.
The weekles come next in Importance,
among which the illustrated papers claim
pre-eminence. The Scientific american
is eagerly perused by the young scientist.
The Continent is quite popular also, be-
ing rather unique in its character, partak-
ing of the qualities of weekly and a
monthly. Young America is particularly
fond of the Youths Companion. And
as for the numerous country papers, each
has its peculiar batch of readers repre-
senting its particular section. The re-
ligiOus weekiies form a valuable auxiliary
for the ministerial students, as we'll as for
all others. Such papers as The CHRON-
ICLE are by no means neglected, for all
| classes look with manifest interest upon
the industrial progress of the State.
But the monthlies constitute the most
valuable accessory for the thoughtful stu
dent, embracing such magazines as the
North american ReuaeeU, Princeton Re
| uieac, Eclectic, Century, Hazper's Monthly,
| atlantic Monttly and Manhattan.
The reading room is decided success.
| 1t enables the students to keep up with
| the spirit of the times, while their minds
are being filed with book lore.
| A. T. R.
The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1884-04-19
Another Excellent Periodical.

To The CHRONICLE Il think that when
you replied to &C. c. C.'s" letter asking
what periodicals you would advise social
club to subscribe to, you, for the moment,
forgot The Popular Science Monthly in
your reply, published by D. Appleton &
Co., New York. | am sure such compe-
tent judge as [ know you to be will en-
dorse me in saying it is one of the best
publications in the United States. 1t is
not only the acknowledged organ of pro-
gressive ideas Of this country, but is a
power in every department of intellectual
activity. The farmer, mechanic, phys
ician, lawyer and theologian will all find
articles of special interest to them, and so
also will the ladies. The articles on house
hold economy, cookery and hygeine are
numerous and excellent. l have gotten
some of my best and cheapest recipes for
palatable dishes from its pages.
NJ B. G..
Ne1u -Berne, AprI IA.
The state chronicle. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1883-1893, 1884-04-19
Blu REAU OF EDUCATION.
A Description of the Government De-
partment of Peculiar Interest to Ed.
ucatOrS.

Special Cbrresponderece Of the C7,rontcle.
WASHINGTON, April 15.-Among the
many public institutions in Washington
none makes greater impression on the
thoughtful visitor as the Bureau of Edu-
cation branch of the Department of the
Interior. General John Eaton, Commits
sloner Of Education, is devoted to his du-
ties, for believing that the perpctuity of
free institutions can only be secured
through the intelligence Of the citizens,
he labors assiduously to advance the cause
OF education among the masses, using for
that purpose all the means the govern
ment places at his command
There is not a State or Territory which
has not been the recipient Of material ben
efits from it, and since it was organized
the standard of education all over the
land has been greatly exalted. Hundreds
OF daily letters from all over the Union
come asking information that could not be
supplied elsewhere. The library, the ex-
hlbts OF school apparatus and appliances,
the illustrations of methods of inStruc-
ton employed in other countries, (some
of them exceedingly odd and quaint the
pamphlets and publications issued by this
department, and others received from all
! civilized nations, these are among the Wis
| ible signs Of the methods of work In
| the various rooms are a corps of hard
working, intellectual men and women,
| some engaged in correspondence, others in
| selecting and mailing pamphlets, others
in transmitting foreign letters relating to
educational matters, others in gathering
and compiling statistics, but ALL in their
several fields of labor, striving for one
set purpose, which is to help to make
reading, writing and arithmetic the com
mon knowledge of the entire population,
while at the same time aiding all engaged
in teaching more advanced studies by
supplying them with information drawn
from every quarter of the globe.
Yesterday | saw on the desk of Com
missioner Eaton two documents illustra-
! tive of this: one a report made by a
Spanish Minister to King Alphonso, tax
ing strong ground in favor Of employing
women as teachers in primary schools; the
other, Gn two very heavy folios) being re
| ports of the Royal Educational Commits
sion Of the British East Indies.
The Bureau is the most interesting place
in the country for teachers to visit, anC
the most useful department of the Gov
ernment to them. Here they can find out
at once all the information the statistical
facts about popular education in the
world and yet information about the
methods and helps used by school teach
ers Of every civilized people.
| 1t is not amiss, by the way, to mention
here that when the National Educational
Bill was under discussion in the Senate
the action of the last Legislature of North
Carolina was referred to by Senator Ran
som, and its endorsement of the measure
had its due weight in influencing the Sen
atOrial vote.