The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-07-05
A Dream and Horrible Awakening
CoNFEDERIT Y ROADS,
(Which is in the State NV Kentucky
June 9, 1854.

D6 T6allZPu. II WuZ II uTeeul 50 Tlcll,
so full Nv everything wich wuz de-
Iiteful, that | almost wish hed died
afore awakenin from it to the cold
realities NV crooel and unsympa-
thetic world. 1t wuz dreem wich
extended over a considerable space
NV time.
Methawt l wuz a delegate to the
Dimekratic Nashnel Convenshun
from this deestrick in Kentucky. 1
wuz entirely happy, for | he'd rooms
at a first class hotel and plenty uy
money, for l he'd promised the man
ayers NV an the candidates to vote
for their man, and wuz reseryin
money from each. In addishn l he'd
sold all five Nv the tikkits / he'd at
my disposal to the Conyenshun to
outsiders, and he'd turned a hand
some penny buyin up from the other
delegates, and sellin again at a higher
price. All the delegates WuZ on the
make, only l he'd sooperior intelli-
gence.
1t wuz a delitefuI experience, only
it wuz in my sleep. Thank heaven
for sleep! All my good times 1 hev
in my dreems. We wuZ about to con-
sentrate on Tildel, Saml. j., his bari
hevin bin tapped at both ends and
the bung knocked out. The old gentle
man he'd actooally determined to be
candidate, on a reform platform,
and wuz buying up Nv delegates at
a rate Wich / never dreemed he WuZ
capable NV. No matter what may be
sed NV his hOnisty, their amt no
doubt ez to his liberality or his ak
kerit knoIlege Nv the makeup NV
Dimekratic Convenshuns. he'd sold
out to him four times, and so he'd the
helft NV the delegates, and we got
our money every time. SamyOoel'S
managers sed that so sot wuz the old
man on the question Nv reform that
he'd scoop the nOminashen eff he he'd
to buy every delegate to the COnven-
Shun.
Jist ez we he'd made up our minds
to vote for him and end the matter,
we received dispatch from Moo
York that the old man he'd bin struck
with paralysis and his rite side wuz
completely dead. His managers were
appalled, al the terrible intelligence,
but not so the delegates. One gentle
man from Injeany riz to his feet and
demanded in thunder tones efhe Good
still yoose his left hand.
He kin !" Wuz the reply.
every good then. He kin sign
checks with his left hand, and so long
ez he kin sign checks he is good enuff
reform candidate for me. With him
ez our standard bearer the DimOcriSy
NV Injeany will pay cash for likker
this Fall anyhow"
Then the dreem went on. We went
into the campane and | moved i'm
mediately to Injeany, becoz ther amt
no money in bein Dimocrat in Ken
lucky. Kentucky is safe anyhow, and
when [ asked Tilden for cash con-
triboOshens for the campane 1 wuz
met with chillin refOosle. "The
Reform tikkit kin kerry Kentucky
anyhow" was the chilIin response,
land my money must go into the
doubtful States"
Injeany bein a doubtful State, l
went over ther, and threw my soul
into the work. l got the posishen NY
disburser in a Congressional Dees-
trick, and when the eleckshun come
l voted six times, gittin my three
dollars per vote with the rest NV EN-.
In my dreem Tilden was elected
on the Reform ishoO, and then come
the millennium. We didn'tpay much
aCCClloilull w HuCoiIOho NV puoilS
polisy, but we did make a eileen
sweep NV all the Republican offs
holders. We spared nothin. One
armed sojerS wuz throwd out NV
places, ez we'll ez wimmin wich held
small postoffises. Their wuzn't offs,
no matter how small, wich we
couldn't find sturdy Dimekrat will
in to take. Their wuz wher we com
menced the work NV Reform.
Wv course / got the post-offis at
the Corners. The niger Lubbock,
wich he'd held it sence Grants first
inoggerashun, was relegatid to his
shoe-bench, and L wuz installed in
his place. The salary wusn't large.
but ther wuz perkisits. l didn't hev
the handlin NV any letters containin
remittances for noospapers, 80 l got
no revenoO from that. The Repub.
likins in this visinity, ez soon ez l
wuz installed, mailed ther letters con-
tainin money for noosepapers at other
offises, becOz, ez they remarkt, they
he'd bin interdoosed to me, and the