The Arkansaw traveler., 1884-07-19
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"whas has yosr pa ees Ais Assd lied up @ hsr asked the grocerymAn of sAe bad boy, as he cane b tke ssu5s w;sk . pair of hig yarn mitieas e, and ecok up an appae with his mcufA, Ais haads seeming sc he helpless. nnd what ala your cwn handsy skould think YOU had been on . Fourth d July drunk.s
 We havent heen drank, d leass only ss drunk e . persoa can get on ismoa- ade. But we have had . sssions acCi- den, said the hoy, a he held the appie ea his arm while he ehswed piece q q. You sc. pa is vsry pasriotic. and he likes to celebrate sAe elosicss Fourth. He bought iot cf 6Fewosks and invited the minissers family and a los of the deacons' families over 10 our house. cn the evening ot the Fourth. to see him set od the hrewosks in the yard. He said he would poin, the rockets the other way, @ the ssieks would fall upon the just as veil as th uniust neighbcn. rA wouldn't let me touch the ksewoskx. cause he said only grown people should handle such things, and he kne~ all Abou, IL. The folks all got out ia the yard. the msaisier in hammock, his vite in a lawu chair near the hammock, sw,nging him, ma on the outside cellar door. the deAcous and their families scattered around in cAaiy and on the ground. and my chum and me in swing. na kxed board to shoot rockets from, and had box iuli ot Ire wogks behind tres. and after telling the ladies 10 be quies, he 6xed rocket on the board, put tot of Roman candles in his coas.tail pockes. gave a few candles to the minister, who lad them down b. aide him in the hammock. and when all vas ready pa touched of the rocket. l shall always think pa pu, the rocket on the board wroag side up. Anyway, Il whished," and busssed, and scattered all over our yard, the stick struck ma, who was oa the cellar doos, in the polonAise, and she yelled and the cellar doc, fell and let her down cellar. The rocket filled the box of 6fswosks with fire, and they all began to 70 of d once, and such a noise and stampede never heard. The Roman candles in pas coat.taii pockets began to % od and shoot colored balls up under his coat and down h,s trousess. and he yelled that he was stabbed and called tor water. The pan wheels began to fly around, and oas of them SO, in the hammock with the minister, and touched od Ab Roman candiss, and he got so scared he couldn't gss out of the ham. mock. and he just lad tAsre and yelled. He thought he was dead and had made . mistake and got to the wroag hereafter. and he didn't sesm to realize what was up until nigges-chases got ahes his wite 1 chased her around tree and vent into her stocking, when she jumped right into the hammock on top of the minister and said. Oh, Lord, sase me' and thai tipped the hammock over and spilled them ou. on the ground into some red. fire that was burning. By tha, time the rockets in the box got to going and the, went of among the deaoons and the,l wives. and the sticks hew everywhere and some ot those cannon hIe-orackess got their tails afise, and they went oii and the folks lus, lad down and bialted Every few minutes some new f,fe-works would catch fire, and run among the guests, and pa saw me and my ehum tn the swing and said, Turn the hose on us 50 grabbed the gasden hose which was westing dswn the lawn tothes side oi the house, and me and my cham played ire engine. and vel the whole party tili all the fire vas out. and then they all Jawed pa cause he didnt kno~ anything. Ma want hurt al all only scased. and we found her down oeila' where she had orawled under the kindling wood. Pa had some re treatments on a table on the yer anda, that he was going to ueaI the crowd with, but a pin wheel got in pail oi lemonade and a nigges ehases followed ii and ehased the pir wheel and lemoas around until the lem onade smelied like a gun that is bssech burnt and rockes vent in the ice cream freeser and exploded and ,hrowed ies cream all over the side of the house Jus like mortar, ard q bunch of hFe-crackerl went of in the cAke basket and spoilet the flavor oi the cake. Aftes the fire wai out and we stopped playing the hose o' them, ve found that nobody vas burnet except pa and me, and his forehead an, hair vas singed and my hAncs wer' bufned putting out the ministers wife The ministers coat was spoiled, and hi
 vite los, one stocking. bu. they were no hurt. Pa vent ia the house to put som. sweet oil on his head. and he gos into sh' bottle of prepared glue by mistake. ans his hair is glued down to his head, and became hard, 70 |, sounds like board when he hits 1t with his knuekles, ana that is what his head is tied up for. Ai says if win take six weeks to soak tha glus of pas head. Say. do yos think i is nght for pa to lay Il to mel He say if me and my ehum had been standinl over that box with the hose as re ough to have been, instead of enjoying our seives in the swing, ws could have saves all the trouble, asd then pa says fl
 hadn't changed the glse into the swes oil bottle, his head vouldnt have bee, stuck np %. it just seems to me every thing Is lad to me"
 "Well, n seems as though your pres enee anywhere was bad omsa.r said sh fssrak V