The Hawaiian gazette., 1884-12-24

South Pacific demands attention. not from
the intrinsic value Of the precious docu-
ment and its appendices, but from the
utter absurdity of it and from certain
extraordinary statements, which mere sue,
the Government apologist has managed to
group around his central idea
In the first place the statement is made
that criticism on this affair emanated from
the enemies of the King" We doubt
very much indeed whether this idea of in
teryiewing petty chiefs of half starved
| islands emanated from His Majesty's mind.
The idea originated in the fertile and
Eastern imagination of that one of the
Ministers whose opinions dominate those
Of the rest Granted however. that the
King did originate the folly, why should
those who criticize 1t be regarded as enc
mics of the King? Can King not err? Can
he not commit folly? Is he different from
other men? and IS folly not to be laughed
at? We trow not.
We criticize our friends, the shafts Of
wit and Of satire are found beneficial in
social life why should they be withheld
when such legitimate game as the South
Sea Annexation scheme came on. The
men who satirized that scheme and the
members Of the expedition were far more
the Kings friends than those who went
upon it, or who first planned it. Kings
enemieslh the phrase Is absolutely absurd.
The opponents of this stupid scheme but
pursued legitimate course in laughing
at huge joke which the unfortunate tax
payers will have to foot a bill for If satire
is legitimate between private individuals.
it is Legitimate against sOvereigns no mat
ter how lofty or how Iowly they may be.
whether they rule all the Russias OF
whether they dominate the head of bar
rel floating in a southern sea. The Kings
enemies are his Ministry which has made
him thoroughly unpopular.
The next statement we would like to
review Is that as the report Of Capt. Tripp
came too late for embodying in the L. o.
Report TO the Legislature, the implication
Is that the report could not therefore be
put before the country. As an act of elem
ency, and thanks to the efforts of that truly
unofficial organ which so ably mirrors the
wishes Of the Government, the information
IS put forward about nine months after II
was received. 1t is absolutely absurd tc
gull people that it could not be supplied
before. The fact Is that as long as a trial
was hanging over the heads Of the Cabi
net, they dared not publish it because they
knew not what might be elected. but the
chance of trial having disappeared from
their horizon. they We're then prepared tc
cook their story to suit the Hawaiian
palate, and hare produced it. This IS the
result that most people come to when they
set to work to think about the matter
For results of this valuable expedition,
We have a wrecked vessel and a bundle OF
letters, signed by half a dozen unbreeched
barbarians who, thanks to the educating
influence of the Hawaiian Envoy. burst
forth into full blown Kings. That mighty
potentate, "by the Grace OF God King Of
Butaritari,' who was visited by the God
OF Gods" while away in zone of the pro
vinces of his kingdom" and "ended his
work IN this world to rest IN the Other
world" we find on examination dwelt OIL
an island exactly SIX miles long by one
half to a mile widei We must criticize
the Hawaiian Envoy; he has not taught
the lesson properly. The smaller the ter
lltory, the greater should be the assump
ton of titles. There was once a territory
twelve miles IN circumference, inhabited
by plgmies six inches high, whose mon
arch understood how to assert himself
In a celebrated state document which ha.
been preserved fortunately, to our owl
times he styled himself:
''Golbusto AIomarem Eolame Gurdilc
Shepin Mully Nully Cue, most Mighty EN-
peror of Lilliput, delight and terror of til,
Universe, whose dominions extend five
thousand NustTngs (about twelve miles il
circumference to the extemities of til,
globe; Monarch of all Monarchs. tallel
than the sons Of men: whose feet pres.
down to the center, and whose head strike.
against the sun; at whose nod the prince,
of the earth shake their knees; pleasant a,
spring, comfortable as summer, beautiful
as autumn, dreadful as winter
Now had the Mighty Monarch of Maxim
or Butaritari started his letter somethin;
after the above mould, we should have fel
that the expedition had not been in vain
that the light of literature had begun t.
shine in the South Pacific, that civilization
would spread among the isles of the sea
and that to Hawaii's brow another laure
would have been added. Alasi that 81
golden an opportunity has been lost. Tn
next Envoy that goes southwards shoul,
not forget to take a pocket edition of Gul
liver along with him. All Will then g
well.