davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
ZINC Work at MoImend Cemelerx.

Forty collins were taken out OF Holmold
Cemetery yesterday. The work OF eXhuming
was then suspended until cold weather. the
residents In the neighborhood fearing that
malaria might be generated by the Impure air.
In all SO collins have been eXhumed. In ono
OF them was found two Ave cent pieces and
three'cent piece. one OF the coflns dug up
yesterday had tho following inscription on
silver plato: "Mrs. Hannah Hedgemln
Inferred December 10, 1872, aged 10 years"
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
What Say You, DOCTOR

Some physicians are afraid to preseffi3e any.
thing except what they direct Lhe dpothecary
to GompouInd, Yet rrfqYen!lSnsfnd those who
have found Drowned &FeBftters such a val.
liable medicine thq1ffFy are glad to prescribe
II. Among th9se1sfDB b. II. Smith, OF Hat
Greek, Sa..gho says, ~ have frequently pre-.
SCI ibee1fuown's Iron Bitters in my practice,
alAtahU II most excellent preparation"
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
THE TREASURY PORTFOLIO.
No Bar 10 IFS Acceptance by Mr.. nIor
ton.

statement having been circulated that
Minister Morton's banking interests disquallfy
him for holding the position OF Secretary of
the Treasury, It is only necessary to say that
his actual or nominal withdrawal from that
business foDsthe period OF his appointment
would be In compliance with tn law. Mr..
Treasury portfolio under President Garfield,
and II is believed that he would very gladly
pect OF the Secretaryship under Blaines ad.
minlstratlOn,
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
HAMROADS.
rNHE GREAT
PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE.

PENNSYLVANIA ROUTE.
TO THE NORTH, WEST AND SOUTHWEST.
DOUBLE TRACK, SPLENDID SCENERY
STEEL Rails "a Is. iMi AZ FL EQUIPMENT
TRAINS EEA StE WAs AnS 4 iss from s,.,
ro corner OF Sixth and ID streets, as follow,
g PALACE see s Sssi ShlC SsS, LpeS
a, NJ daily Fast Line, $40 a. b. dSi,yS 80
nom Harrisburg TO cSoinh Mi a SGfePI nIgc, q9rs
70 81 Louis; daily, except Saturday To- SI;i'Nat
western xpTfe esT 46 9 p h 5Sy 20 6Lic@so
SaTs 10 ht!sburghi also connects daily Tor uSiee
Mail Express 10 z. NJ daily Ter pitsbuTraiI, sgo;
the Wesl MIL Palace Sleeping Car rom Ws a1a
BALTIMORE a POTOMAC RAILRoAn
For Erie, Canandiigua, Rochester Bnnaio NJ.
Palace Cars from %sS ShSSei nsaI 70 with
Train leaving WGehington on Saturday niebi
For willlamspoTt' LocS Gsven and El,oir, =,
$40 4, Nj. daily except sunday. ~ W
u A. NJ 2, J. 10 and Ills T. H. On 0 sTps ana
rtyiilU W and lib i. M. Limited Express 81
s1uiidmsn Parlor Cars, $40 A. NJ. daily exeeot
For Orb PE%Ss aI without change aio p NJ every
For brooslyn, N: 81 all through trains connect
sofdsy Hy Mh heats Of brooklyn Annex
pSSnS,s SIfaRo across New York city.
M Limited Express, o.iOA. III. daily eSdanS
For Baltimore, 0.s5, us, 20, $40 and n, ~,
S an s9 1i SiO lLOO A NJ, 400, 600, a95 ieoj
For Pope's Creek Line, ss5 A. NJ. and 44opM
For Annspols, e.SS A. NJ and 70 O5 $40 p. NJ. da,,v
ALwEX = ( DR. & OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES RAIL.
TON RAILROAD. - "AShlNo-
FSf Als &; 100 s2s Hos spd li.ss A.
day a. oSo. 9;25, HOS A. NJ, sos p. NJ. vi sun
Siy anSP ana t dS south $40 and A. M
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

HAY-FEvER. l have been Hay. Fepsssl
SUFFERER for three years; have attous hoard
Ely's Cream Balm sUokon Qfs.tn tho highest
terms. used It hnd with The most wonder.
ful success.-T, ABeflsH, Syracuse. N. Y.
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
STEAMBOATS,.
T ,ooK AT Low FARES.

FORTRESS MONROE AND NORFOLK.
FddiisT.CLAsS FARE, sE ROUND TRIP, ii 80
=, 9ht Btesmer LAKE leaveB Sixth-s street wharf
Maehlngtop, Monday and Wednesday at $3.50 ..
mc mn sa'uTqay at 81 M returning iM1ondsy
Day and Friday At $50 p M Close Son con.
Steamship Lines.
ONCE, 18th and Penn, avei o. 4, Thompson, OO2
Penn. ave; j. ID. Free, 70] Market Space; ST.
Iameg Hotel, and General ONCE, siSth-st wharf.
PoTomAC RIVER LANDINGS. Steamer 7.
w THOMPSON leaves Monday, "Wednesday
and Friday at Ia. m. Fare rs Cis.
ALFRED WOOD, Secretary
GEO. r. PHILLIpS. Superintendent. niyIO
A. b. KEYEs. j. L.. SMITH,
KEY BS SS CO.
Close Carriages for Weddings, Calls and Recep.
lions, Boarding and Livery Stable. WlllArdA
Hotel Stables. corner lith and u sta.
FADELE SS BRO.
R2-2 Eighth Street, between ID and IL n "
Close Carriages for Weddings, Gala and Recan-
lions. Boarding and Livery Stable.
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
Attention!

For the largest stock of wall.papers,mfndow.
shades, cornicee, pictures and .plstire frames
90 10 Ncerhofr's, O10 heepenth' Street,. or for
an elegant line OF palAllgs, steel engraVlngs,
etchlngs and QthaU'EYe pictures, picture.
frames, albAEtstnd nhydt tlos 90 10 VeerhoI's
stre6e -
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

"Conler weather tomorrow, but no signs of
RAIN" is tho prediction OF the Signal once for
suffering humanity aud nature in this vlcln-
Will cause a very noticoabls fall OF tompera-
ture, but there is no present indication Of rain
for forty'eight hours"
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
Drunkenness, or the L.quO4 Fyzbit
Can be Cured by Admin isfering
DR.. hainch' Golden SDecLAc.

It can BIO glvon 10 cup OF cQife6 or tea with.
out the knowledge q ile pepsoh taking 1t, Of.
the patient is a md s,zl9e drinker or an alec. .
hole wreck. Thoybah4s OF drunkards have
been made tempeEeB men who have taken tho
Golden Specincth Nelr coffee without their
knowledge, aVd to-day believe they quit drink.
Ing OF theiEJ6Tn free VIII. No harmful effects
result FROM Its administration, Cures guar.
antecd Circulars and testimonials sent free.
AddL0ee, GOLDEN SPECIFIC Co,
1876 Race St., Cincinnati, o,
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

Graceful Penelope,
Languld and sweet,
What may the letter be
There at your feetP
lie 1t a note from him
Dear 70 your heart,
Making your blue eyes dim
Siung with loves smart?
Jealousy's cavlllng,
Bitter misirust,
Each word attaching
Your heart with thrust?
Asking, perhaps, for an
Earlier day,
Praying Eyes" youcln
Surely not say?
Word from your parent storm,
NeNed with your ChOi,t?
Task hard for you TO leIn,
Born TO reioice2
Graceful Penelope,
Teary OF eyes,
What may the letter DO,
Fallen that lies?
In a voice small and still,
Just hear her say;
whats the drfssmaker's bill
Pa VIII not payl"
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
Tho EiecIrIn Slime

cures rheumatism, soro feet bunlops,ssufe
corns; Made OF the ARst materlals,RHdsof1 at
west. P.s-our st1tkofs Gents and ladies
hai and machlRgat%ed boots ana galters,
rubber bootSsmd Shoes Is the largest, best and
cheaResttathe city. Look for the old woman
lnlt3e' Window
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

An aged gray haired colored man named
Gtorge Adams was charged IN the Police Court
luis morning with assaultlng Jemiml Bryan,
ms aged mother, and also young colored girl
named Mary A. Thompson.
The old woman said she "WRs seven years
old when the British war was"
Her son choked her and threw hor down.
Tho girl also stated that he assaulted her
while he was drunk.
He was fined SO IN each case.
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
"AIdernoY nnirx Wnrons.pngg

Fresh Attorney butteIk ,churpAa'every morn.
Ing and delivered In " p 9IHdtd" prints, 40,.
per ID. Also cottagd olle5Be, buttermilk AMI
sweet milk 81 spsfN w. Cream, 15e. per PIN.
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
Roth Ont of pnIiiIcs-

>, Two gentlemen were standing at SIigflfhnd
T. streets this morning, discussing politics.
care who WINS" Said AsgA8ther 81 too am
Indifferent. l am psItseuy happy and healthy,
and that's all kedfe for. drink Tharp's
T Straots = ''n''' Th'rp Keeps at SlS +
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01
GarireM, 900 sNSsaffi Street,

corner OF /, has q. Essyfhrgo stock OF nrst.class
footwear q lHS'1est Makes style and ut I'M
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

"Tho plays the thing,
"Whereii ri reach the cspseIcnce of tho
king"
And equally trlfs n ittfat DR.. Pierce's ''Plsas.
ant Purgative Ssk3fs" (the original Little
Liver Pills. aref4e host efrectual means that
can be useAfgfeaSh Inc seat OF disease, cleans.
Ing the$0wels and system, and assisting Ma.
turelsnher recuperatiye work. BY druggists,
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

Shirts, Collars and CufISssaJ8ne Up,
equal to ,,r new at ARraS Steam Laundry.
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

PARK yesterday afternoon TO witness the OK.
hibitlon game OF ball between the Baltimore
and Cincinnati clubs, of the American Associa.
lion. The audience was disgusted with the OK.
errors ana bad decisions OF the umpire The
men advertised to play were not all on the
held. The game was called at the close OF the
audience demanded another inning, as there
play further, .IShS~
The Evening critic., 1884-10-01

RB-sPECIAL NoTIcE.-we wish to soy few
words in behalf OF our Shirts; that Is, to In.
sure satisfaction TO our patrons, we guarantee
perfect lt or money refunded.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20

as of old, our famous receipt for cur
ing beef, pork, mutton, hams, ETC., as
follows
To one gallon of water take II lbs.
Of salt, ! 10, sugar, ! OF. saltpcter,
OF potash.
In this ratio the pickle can be in
creased to any quantity desired. LIT
those be boiled together until all the
dirt from the sugar rises to the top
and is skinned off. Then throw i,
into a tub to cool, and when
cold pour it over your beef Or pork.
The meat must be well covered with
pickle and should not be put down
for at least two days after killing,
during which time it should be slight
y sprlnkled with powdered saltpeter,
which removes all the surface blood,
etc., leaving the meat fresh and clear,
Some omit boiling the pickle and find
it to answer we'll, though the opera
ton of boiling purifies the pickle by
throwing off the dirt always to be
found in salt and sugar. If thisre
ceipt is strictly followed it will require
only a single trial to prove its super
iority over the common way, or most
ways, of putting down meat and will
not soon be abandoned for any other
The meat is unsurpassed, for sweet
ness, delicacy and freshness of color. :"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20
NAPOLE, Ms FALL.
Recital of the Battle of Sedan

Ala Interesting anu IL some respects
a remarkable book has been issued
from the press of Dentu. writes a cor
respondent of The New York Evening
Bost. 1t is the recital of the battle of
Sedan, and the mistakes which led to
it, by Gen Lebrun, who commanded
the Twelfth French army corps on
the day OF the greatest disaster IN the
history of France. Gen. Lebrun was,
like poor De Wimpffen, one OF the
soldiers who believed that honor and
duty commanded desperate resist
ance, even after the emperor had the
white flag hung out from the ram
parts of SEDAN. The general shows
very clearly that the unforeseen and
unexpected march of MacMahOn away
from Chalons TO the horth took the
Germans by surprise. and that they
owed their wonderful success on the
day of the French disaster entirely to
the fault of Napoleon III. and those
next to him IN authority. MacMahon' $
change Of plan was blunder, against
committing which he made strong
protest before stirring from CholoDs;
so strong, indeed, that be converted
NJ Rpuher, who had come to him at
Rheims to insist that he should fall
back upon Paris, as the emperor fear
ed that the fatigued and dlscoDtAnted
soldiers of his army would make
common cause with tina insure ctlou-
lists already heginniag to show their
heads M r ,uher said that MacMa-
hons army could do no good IL fight
ing the Germans until it had repose
and chance topull itself together; SO
be talked to the emperor, who wanted
MacMaaon to take a roundabout
northern route to the relief of Bazaine.
The emperor protested to be won over,
but as Marshal MacMahon was beg 10
ming to operate the retreat toward
Paris, there came lying dispatch
from Bazaine, saying: Il am still
expecting to retreat By the northern
fortres ses." The impe1i4llstic man
euver, to which the emperor is sup
posed to have been privy, awoke Mac
Mahon's sympathy, and led him to
believe that he might be of use IN the
north, Sonorth wa' he turned-and
net misfortune dire. Bazaine and
Napoleon could not have planned
better had they desired to deliver
themselves into the hands of the Ger
mans. These are the conclusions to
which one is inevitably forced in
reading Gen. Lebrun's clear and
sincere narrative.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20
A GER AN LEGEND,

Have you heard the Broken legend OF the sever
sisters fair,
With the violet eyes of Deutschland and the 1us
trous yellow hair,
Who were voiced by German sultorS oy Une uoZel
and the score,
Till one hight when stars of silver studded all the
blue o'erhead, n..
With the seven English brothers these Teutonit
InaidenS fled ,
summit of the Hartz.
Little dreaming they were followed by the subtles
fairy arts.
For the Tilted German suitors, vowing vengeance
fast free,
Swore to claim the recre mt fair ones ere they
reached the English 81 a.
So when all the stars Of silver kissed adieu the
golden day,
At the feet of seven maidens seven ghastly lovers
lay,
their ps were white and cold.
While pursuing DER the mountains came tne Ger'
man lovers bold,
eized each fon lamentlng sister, crying uercely
And with loud, triumphant laughter FASTENED
backward to the Rhine;
Bore them TO the anclellt stronghold, 10 tue Caoo
firm and gray
OF the cruel king their father, guarded wei oy
night ami day.
But no bolts or bars could hold them, Tor tney soon
Ali the wilfulness Of woman puzzles oft the
WiSest =,
And with winds which love had LEM them, 10 the
fa'-off mountain Sped
There to SEEK their English lovers; there to mourn
their English dead.
woman'S tears, ,
In the cold mists of the morning what is this that
mocks heir fears?
Where they left their Sweethea"ts lying, seven
mountain peaks arise, -
Each with stony heart or granite, deaf TO all tnelr
prayer and signs.
Should you aver in your wand rings cnmo tnat
far-off German mountain,
You may see the Seven Brothers and by each q
tiny fountain;
And the legen IS tell the story that has drlLCed
down the years,
How the seven loving sisters came eHoh morn
with bitter tears
To bewail their fair loSt-loverS till tney "epl
Themselves away,
Each became tripping fount61n-mournngs Sign
ing there to-day. -
AGNES FARLEY.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20

1T is not what we earn, but what
we save that makes us rich" said
philosopher. Remember this when
trying to make 50 bill buy shoes for
six or seven children.
A well-fed hog rose up in his sty,
And dropped a regretful tear;
The beautiful snow has come, he said,
And Staying will soon be here
Anxious inquirer-When you say
that you have found the milk Ia the
cocoanut, it is merely another way OF
Eating that you have got the facts Id
d nutshell.
Poor st. John is IN trouble again.
In recent speech he said ITO
get drunk is folly hut the bibulous
compositor put it: ''To get drunk is
jolly"
The days of beer are fading fast,
No longer It's in fashion.
But the wInSoue youth is not downcaSt-
He simply changes his liquid ration.
Touching inscription on a tomb
stone: Here lies my mother-in-
law. She always desired my happi-
ness. Her death proved this"
Holland has 10, 900 windmills. Dur
ing presidential campaign America
can see Holland and 20 her about co.
900 windmills better.
astonishing, isn't it, how things
are taxed?" said Straddles "Why,
[ hear lots of people talking about
taxing their brains"
Tonsorial artist-Dye your hair, sir2
Customer-No, I'm TOO young
Artist-The good dye young, you
know, sir.
A man may successfully paint the
town red, but when afterward he
has brush with policeman he loses
color.
Miss Rosebud you know, Mr.
Palette, [ never knew before to-day
that you and I we're from the same
state?" Pallette-'Same state, Miss
Rosebud? Why, I am New EGG
lander. | live in Massachusetts"
Miss Rosebud-"Then why do you
always put Del. after your name in
your pictures?"
Seems as if close race might be
won by clothes horse
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20
Sailing Pork.

The varied success of different iu-
dividuals in sailing their years sup
ply OF pork is interesting. While Que
man has sweet pork ten have all
grades from merely eatablo to worth
less. IL is generally known that pork
must not be frozen when packed. and
many will not allow it TO get frozen
The following is the receipt OF the
Germantown Telegraph for curing
meat. That paper publ ,hes it annu-
ally, and it is claimed that meet cured
just in the manner prescribed always
keeps SWEET:
"As the season has arrived when
curing meet is in order, we republish
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20


The place wbaur Betty Cooper lies
There's neen earth can tell,
Till at the resurrection day,
Then Betty tells hersel'.
Whitehall Revie1c.
AS our great eastern contemporary,
James Gorden Bennett, hoped Into
the palace hotel coach the other day,
after a brief soioarn here of forty
eight hours, a gentleman said TO the
porter who had brought down "Jim's"
satchel: $50 that's the boss journalist,
is lt?' "Journalist?" replied the por-
ter, with great contempt, hes per-
feet gentleman. He gave me S."
A certain Nevada judge, who had
been great scamp years before his
accession to the bench, recognized an
old acquaintance in a prisoner brought
before him, and supposiIag himself
safe from recognition, asked the pris-
oner what had become of the compan-
ions of his early life of crime. The
reply was They are all hanged, your
honor, except you and me.
you're the belle of the town.
The young man said,
As she smoothed the curls
On her queenly head
He took the hint, the young man did,
When she gave her little head fling,
And murmured softly IN his ear,
"What good is a bell without ring?''
Marion Crawford has finished his
new novel, which is founded on Am
erican politlcs. That's funny. There's
nothing novel ABOUT American poll
tics. It's the same old mud geyser it
was when George Washington was
tattooed.
O,trich eggs IN San Francisco are
quoted at $3.50 dozen. Owing to the
price, man no matter how hungry
he may be, seldom goes into restau
rant and calls for more than three
ostrich eggs, boiled, at one time.
An auctioneer, a native of the Green
Isle, caused to be printed on his hand
bill of a recent date: Every arcticle
sold goes to the highest bidder, unless
it SO happens thatsome gentleman bids
more
s'They are so continually tinkering
at this divorce business, | wonder i,
there no way to properly relegate it?"
said Mrs Hypo. Certainly" growl-
ed old Hypo, make marriage Grim
inal offense."
st change my shirt every day" said
a dude; Il cannot endure the sam.
shirt more than one day." Wall"
said the farmer, you must be a
blamed dirty man. can wear shirt
for two weeks"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20
SHORT :: q:
~ w u required by the travelling public
"A Short LINE, Quick Time
line !: :::.;::: s::;
CHICAGO,
MILWAUKEE
AND ST. . AUL.


1t owns a.d operates over 4,se niles Of road IN
Northern Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota Isva and
Dakotx; and as he mas lines branches and eonnee
ton Of Short Line and Boas Eoutc bsswsca
Chicago. Milwaukee. st. PaHI and
minneapolis.
Chicago, milwaukee, Portage, La
Crosse and winona.
Chicago, Milwaukee. 0Ftonville, ABB
erdecn and Elies6 dale.
Chicago, milwaukee, Eau Claire md
saltwater.
Chicago, milwaukee,, Waasau and
Merrill.
Chicago, milwaukee,, ReRver Dam,
Fond Su Lao and Oshkosh.
Chicago. Milwaukee, WaNkesaa and
0conomewoc.
Chicago, milwaukee,, Madison and
Prairie du Chisn.
Chicago. M1lwaa h &c. 0wafenpa, Hsn-
kato and FarfbauIS.
Chicago, BsIefe, JaneavflIe and Min
eral Point.
Chicago, Eiafn, Rockford and Du-
buque.
Chicago, Clinton, Rsek Island, Cedar
Rapids and Tanna.
Chicago, Des M0incs, Council BIuns
and Omaha.
Chicago, Canton, Sioux City, Sioux
Falls and Fankten.
Southern Minnesota Points.
Chicago, Milwaukee,, Mason City,
Mitchell and Oh Ina berlain.
Rock Island, Dubuque, st. Paul and
Minneapolis
Davenport, Cainar, st. Paul and Min
neapoiia.
milwaukee,. Racine. RsIoit, Ereeport,
and Rock Island.
Mitchell, Welsey. ASHTON and Aber-
deem.
jim River Valley Lne)
PuIInlo an Sleepers and the Finest Dining
Care u. the ,sorld the main lines or
theCHlCA GO, NINA UkEE 6ST. r EL
EAILHA Y, and every attention IS pHid TO pas
seHxcrs by courteous employees Of the Company
s. 8. M grill, A. ". Il. CcrYant5r,
Gen1 Manager. Gen1 Pass Agent
j. 7. Clark, Gee. Fl. RsaEeP2,
dsAg 6upk ASH Qsn1 Pass. ACT
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20
CONNECTIONS.

AT GREEN BAY-with Chicago & North
western Railway to and from Ooo'sto, Mdrt,s-
cite, AcnoHtisce, Crystal FulLs. Florence, Es-
Gqs.aoa, NeSnnee, Lshpen'i'o, M-;Nqueste,
Houghton, l. Anse, and all points in this Iron
and Copper regions aAo appleton, Nesno&,
Ge1,assaa, O&hsosh, Fond da Lac, hfSsoolkes
Chicago and all points South and East.
With Milwaukee, & Nerthogn Railway for Nil,eot.
kec and all points North and South that line
At NEW LONDON-w With Milwaukee
Lake Shore Il Western Railway TO and from ell
points on that road.
AT GRAND RAPIDS-wftA Wisconsin
Division of the Chicsgo, Milwaukee & ct. Paul
Ry
AT MERRILLAN-With Chicago, ST. Paul
Minneapolis Omaha Railway to and from Eau
CSooeTe, Ch4ppet1d FSslls Aerononee Wts Rtd-
con, StfHeoater, ST. PAUL MINNEAPOLIS,
and ali points beyond
AT WlNONA AND LA CROSSE-With
Chicago Northwestern Railway and Chicago
Milwaukee ST. Paul R'y, to and from Red
srtsg, Hastings ST. PAUL, MINNEAPOLIS,
snd all points in Minnesota, DoS0ta, Iotsa ard
Nebraska
Dgrfng season Of navigation, with Steamers for
all points north and sowth on kisstsssppi Rirsr
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-20
SMILES.

The place whaur Betty Cooper lies,
Is here or here about;
The place whaur Betty Co per lies
There's Leen can fin il DOT;
The place wbaur Betty Cooper lies
There's neen on earth can tell,
Till at the resurrection day,
Then B etty tells herself.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-11-13
40 ACHE, Or NOT TO ACHE.

70 have it out or not? that is the question
Whether tits better for the jaws to suffer
The pangs and torments Of an aching tooth,
Or to take steel against host of troubles,
And, by extracting, end them? To pull-tc
tugl-
No more: And by a tug to say we end
The tooth ache and a thousand natural Ills
The law is heir to: tbs a consumatlon
Devoutly to be wished! To pull-to tug
TO tug-perchanee to break! Ay, there's the
rub.
For in that wrench what agonies may come,
When we have half-dislodged the stubborn Zoe,
Must give us pause. There's the respect.
That makes an aching tooth of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and stings OF
pain
The old wifes nostrum, dentists contuneIy;
The pangs of hope deferred, kind sleeps delay. d.
The insolence of pity, and the spurns
That patient sickness of the healthy takes
When he himself might his quietus make
For fifty cents? Who would fardels bear,
To groan and sweat beneath load of paln?-
But that the dread of something lodgd within
The linen twisted forceps, from whose pangs
No Jaw at ease returnsl-puZzles the Will,
And makes it rather bear the ills 1t has,
Than fly to others that it knows not OF.
Thus dentists do make towards or us all
Ard thus the native hue of resolution
S sicklied DER with the pale cast OF rear;
And many q one, whose courage seeks the oooF
With this regard his footsteps turn away,
Scared at the name OF DENTIST