Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-02-04
BRIGHT BITS.

ALTHOUGH the porcupine is fretful, he's
positive on all points.
WE can find no traces Of harness-shop
ever being called the bridlc-chamber
1T Is stated that Dir. Barnum is having
sign painted which viii read: inns elephant
is white. '-PhiiddeLphjd CdH.
TIE impression prevails that the Standard
OIL Company got the >enatorship IN ONO DY
Payne for it.-OU city BIissdrd
WHEN we see an item going about the coun-
try credited TO the Chicago Inter ocean, we
cannot help but wonder who wrote lt.-Phtt-
adelDhid Gal.
THE reason why woman always adds a
postscript TO her letter Is because she's bound
TO have the last word, if she has to write 1t
hersclf.-Bos.0D IraHscrLDt.
AN Indiana jail-bird recently sersped OF
the back of a mirror and swallowed 1t. 1t
was "a cold DAY for him when the mercury
went dOwn.-BWrliRgfoa Free Press.
WHEN Charlie went to see his best girl and
her father bounced him through the front
door, he said he would keep his temper on the
girls account. but he could not help feeling
somewhat put out.-IerGs SLtiHgs
"JUsT T#INKr' In Heidelberg l once came
across negro boy who was actually so black
th4t ne could noI oe seen WHOM msmt
II m. saw fellow once IN Mannheim VINO
was 50 thin he always had 10 enter room
twice before ne could be nOticedE'
A HANDSOME young lady named Blake
said, MY leap-year prerOg, would take,
But fear when pop
My sweet pOpseywOp
May give my fond hopes the cold shake
-BismdFck Tribune.
REFUSING A KINDNESS ~ say, old fellow,
you can do me great kindness Nv ell,
what is it, Il am $50 short this morning,
and II you can lena me that amount yOu VIII
place me under a lasting obligation Him,
yes; lasting obligation. quite likely. Good
morning. philadelphia CdH.
No EXCUSE. IN absent minded Austin jus
tice of the Peace, whose customers are prln-
cipally inebrlates who are brought before his
court was called on to marry a couple. He
did not make any mistake until he asked the
bride If she took the groom to be her welded
. husband Il do" .'And what are the miti.
absent minded Justice.-Iesds SJtiRgs.
WRITER IN the Decorator urges people 10
''give the boys a chance" On general prin-
ciples that Is all right enough, but 1t Will al
most always be found that the boy who wants
chance will take it. He won't stop TO have
it given to him. If he can't find a chanee
lying around handy he will make one. Don't
worry but that the boy who really bankers
after chance Will get it.-RockfdRd Courier
/ Gazette.
AN FRESHMAN. seeing the gas lighted shortly
/ after his arrival in London, examined the Ak
/ ture closely, went to a store and purchased
one like il, threw up a good job, and returned
p0st-haste to Ireland. An why is 1t we're
I home so SOON" inquired his old mother.
/ ''ShUre, whisht it Is, mother; it's fortune
/ I've brought behipt me. Wait bit an I'll
/ show ye.' Pat accordingly proceeded to
make a hole in the mud wall and to fix
/ the gas pipe therein. I'm about the waste Of
/ a minute yer eyes II be fit to hang me hat on
/ be remarked TO tie wondering family, as he
/ struck a match and applied it to the end Of
/ the pipe. Match after match burned away
| without producing the brilliant flame which
/ Pat had seen in London. He sat down and
1 scratched his head in despair. ''Shure,' he
/ said, If il would only 90 as it went in Lon
/ don ia made no end OF fortune sellin it,
| -Harper's Bdsdr.