The state journal. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1883-1885, 1884-11-08
LATEST STYLE OF FUN.
Cut Bias and Trimmed up by the Press
Humorists.


Humorists.
puck" The darkest hour is when you
can't find the matches.
N. Y. Life" Mr.. st. John will
probably draw largely from the floating
population.
Phila. Call" Sweets to the sweet,
snickered the dude, as he passed the
pretty young lady boarder the sugar.
Like cures like" she replied, handing
him the cold veal.
Texas 'Siftings:" A young man who
had led a rather fast life finally got mar
ried to wealthy but rather warm tenn
pered young lady. After the ceremony
was over the father-in-law said /: II
hope you will not get yourself in any
more foolish scrapes." "No. guess I'll
not get into any more scrapes. reckon
I'll never get out of this one"
''Peck's Sum-" All great men have
some eccentric habit, and now that Sit
ting Bull is becoming civilized he is not
an exception. Whenever the great chief
appears at dinner he carefully unfolds his
napkin, spreads it on his chair, and sits
upon it.
N. Y. Graphic" The young lady
who lives in The vicinity of Madison
Square and sings Nobody Loves Me"
every evening after dinner in the board
ing-house parlor, has no one to blame
but herself
Boston "Jingo;" Mr.. Bergh has warned
the riflemen that they will not be per-
mitted to hit the bulls eye.
n. Y. Journal" A barber says that
it is the rich who become bald the
soonest. No wonder A poor man
can't afford to indulge in the luxury Of
the hair tonic which cheers, yet de-
teriorates.
"Cinc. Merchant Traveller" A min
ster is after the society editor Of the
dailies because an item which should
have read ''The spirit moved him to go
out of town for season" appeared in
The Sheriff moved him to go out of
town for a reason"
N. Y. "Tribune:" Some one asks how
the great men Of this country began life.
We are under the impression that they
generally began life as infants.
carl Pretze's Weekly" " This is the
latest agony in bonnets," she remarked
to her husband as she tried its effect in
the mirror. lis it paid for?'' he asked.
"No; l had it charged. ''Well. it ism
the latest agony in bonnets tEen," he
said with gloan.
Yonkers Statesman '1'l darkel
your personal pronoun," is the way
Boston pugllists threaten their enemies.
Yonkers "Gazette:" "Have you got
the pitch?' asked the leader of the choir.
'You bet l have" answered the base
bawler; ''it's double end curve, and il
will strike out any batter in the country.
Whereupon he was requested to strike
out for home.
Phila. ''Call:" Rev. 10. Cook is
charged with saying Here, you,
Sambo, to Pullman car porter: Mr..
Cook should remember that wealth has
some rights which even learning is bound
to respect.
puck" A Boston lady took her six
year old daughter to see Henry Irving
play Hamlet" After the performance
the mother said: Hes the worst Bun
th0rne" l ever saw" was the reply.
II. Y. "Graphic:" "What did the
doctor preach about this morning. he
he asked. II believe it was politics, y
prohibition" "What was the text
Il don't remember exactly, but it was
taken from st. John"
Boston Transcript" mo" said the
politician, Il never lend my influence tc
an unworthy cause" He forgot to men
ton that the reason why he did not lend
was beause he sold it.
Oil City "Blizzard;" Mrs. Beechel
having written to Grover Cleveland,
Henry Ward should now strike up cor.
resoondence with Maria Halpin.
Pittsburg Telegraph" Remember,
my son." said Mr., Jarphly, "There i:
always room at the top" II don't see
| how any one could forget it who has tC
come in contact with your ideas, "
snapped Mrs. Jarphly.
Serene between the wheels l sit,
TUCK nv drapery in bit,
pump the treaders up and down,
And circle my way through Washington
There never has been President
Who round the town on tricycle. went
| AND they'll never be one, the Fates have
said,
Who pulls his clothes on over his head.
huntington HaWkeys.