St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1884-11-15
Mrs. Jarphly's Contribution to the Cam.
paign Club.

paign Clubs
"What is the matter with your eye.
Mr.. Jarphly?' asked the Man with the
| Cold Tea Scheme, as he met the Thin
| Man without Shirt Collar.
"Nothing the matter with that eye
that know of" replied the Thin Man.
looking upon the other rather resent
fully out Of it.
This was not within the facts. Mr..
Jarphly's eye was imbedded in deep
purple. etched with a lighter blue,
running to black. In fact it was
very damaged orb and resembled an
eve that had run against something
more prominent than a knot hole.
You amt been sleeping with the
window up and caught cold in it9"
sympathetically asked the Cold lea
Man.
"Nawr'
"Loaued it to a friend to go to a pic.
mic WITH"
Nav"
painted it that way to see how it
would tit new suit you're get.ing?'
The Thin Man tried to look the Cold
Tea Man from head to foot in deep in
dirnation, but as the damaged eye re-
fused to associate with the other one,
keeping within itself, as it may be ex-
pressed, the repression of the look
was lost upon the party it was in-
tended for, and the Cold Tea Man con-
tnued:
"Jarphly, we're old friends. and l
have never seen an eve on you like that
before. Where did you buy itP"
II didn't buy it; it was give to me.
See here. Goshor we are old friends,
and don't mind telling YOU little
matter of the kind. This eye you see
me wearing is Mrs. Jarphly's Offering
to patriotism.
"oifering to patriotism
"Yes. its Marthas contribution to
the campaign fund.
.As how?'
.As follows: You know I'm pretty
we'll liked among the boys over in our
ward in Allegheny, and when they
formed marching club they elected
me Captain
That was quite an honor" remarked
Mr. Goshorn, complimentary.
80, yes,n replied the Thin Man. "a
good deal of honor but good deal
, more beer. Beer and glory have got
\ | UllNeu III tuiS ohu ~ .
sometimes hard to tell them apart. But
, as was saving. they elected me Capt
ain and Martha didn't much like it.
, She said she didn't care much for the
honor to myself, that she'd trade it fol
a new pair of shoes. She said she was
afraid if got into politics I'd get into
the workhouse-"
"Women are queer" sententiously
interiected the Cold Tea Man.
.Ain't they" replied Mr.. Jarphly,
with a far-away-Moses look in his bes,
eve. ..But it never does to try and ex
). plain business matters to them. They
u don't seem to comprehend the sterr
5 realities of life and its. commercial
c obligations, so l told her it was my
y duty as q citizen of the Repub
Il lie and one who had the interests o
) nv native land at heart to accept. ant
y told the boys I'd be down next meet
, ing. As luck had it, it happene,
:, that night Martha asked me to get hel
J some stuff for a white dress she wa
$ going to her church picnic in and gav'
: me a five-dollar bill. BE sure yo,
9 come right back with it, Jeremiah.
e said she. %, will, says l, and tina
q was nv intention. But l thought II
= lust 90 down first and accept the posi-
IS ton at the club, and the boys. OF course
expected patriot to contribute TO TN
e campaign fund, so / set 'em up feV
i times and contributions were called TO
9 SO fast the first thing l knew Martha
1. five dollars had all been contributed.
IL ..Did you 90 home?" asked the Goa
u Tea Man re!lectively.
:, 80. yes. went home. / had to
u much patriotism in me TO know enoug
o to stav away. Martha asked me wher
e the dress stuff was and what kept m
IS so late. | told her about the honorabl
4 position had been elected to and no,
l. it is the duty of every honest citizen
y interest himself in politics. Where
X nv five dollars?' said she. why, say
ia l, Martha, to tell the truth, though
IN you would like to do little somethin!
u for your country, and l contributed
70 to the campaign fund in your name.
le do not exactly remember what did oc
y cur. Martha is so excitabie, you know
., When got up aud took look in tn
&c glass next morning l stumbled owe
n. broken mop handle. That made m
at suspicious and when l saw this eye
+ asked Mrs. Jarphly, says l, 'Marth:
- how did get this eye?
e "Wot did she say?"
u "She said that she gave it to me t
III take with me to the Marching Clul
a a that it was her private contribution
Is the campaign fund. ."-Ptsturgh Chrol
y - icte Telegraph.
T. Farmers. Care For Yourselves.