The Pickens sentinel. [volume] (Pickens, S.C.) 1871-1903, 1884-11-06
WIT AND HUnIory.

contempt. For instance, thOre is tho
girl and ice-cream.
An anxious inquirer asks: s'Whsre
Is the best place for saltwater bath.
ingp" In the salt water, dear friend.
NO." said Brown to Robinson with
sigh, II haven't got change for o
five, but I should like to have a Eve
for q change"
A country Postmaster had an heir
born at o'clock a. m. He afterward
remarked to o friend, who was con-
graduating him, that 1t was tho earliest
male he had ever received.
Choosing n wife Is very much like
ordering Q meal In Paris restaurant
when you don't understand Frenoh.
You may not get what you want, but
you will get something.
Who was tho most succossful finsn.
cier mentioned in the Old TestamentP
Noah, because he successfully floated q
Limited company when all tho rest Of
tho world was in liquidation.
Eyes," said Henderson, "I've got
quito an oar for music" ''You have
quito an car, surc enough" said Fogg,
but L wasn't sure it was for music. I
didn't know but it was intended for q
windmill"
Vermont man has hen 80 years
old. Tho other day hawk stole It,
but after an hour came back with n
broken bill and threo claws gone, put
down tho hen and took an old rubber
boot in place of 1t.
Girls whom you marry, be sure to
wed big. strong, healthy msn.
While in nine cases out of ton he won't
bring up tho coal, he'll como In handy
in the Fall to sit on Bible filed with
Autumn leaves to press them.
"What do you think of my mus.
tacheP" asked n young man of his
girl "Oh, it reminds me of o West-
ern frontier city," was tho answer.
lin what respect prayP" because
the survey is large enough, but tho
settlers arc straggling."
A clergyman In an enterprisinp
Western town does much Of his
parochial visiting by means of tho
telephone. But he is concerned to see
that many of his parishioners 20 to
church by telephono-at loast they do
not go in bodily form.
Is that young man on the corner.
with two girls on his arms. from tho
countryP He is. Is he looking for tho
CommonP He Is; but those girls arc
looking for an ice-cream saloon. Win
they find oneP They will, or that
young man will 60 homo alone.
A dressmaker recommended that q
shirring DO put upon some portion of
Dots new dress. Mamma" said
Dot, what is shirringp" well,
my child, shirring is-is--N gather-
ing "Oh. yes, mamma; had q
shirring in my car last Winter."
Customer-''That last bsefsteak I
bought hero-er-er-do you purchase
your bsef in Gcor. ia1" Bulcher--"In
Georgian What are you talking aboutp"
Customer. Nothing; only I read the
other day that COWS in that State fre-
quently live to bc 100 years old"
1t is rumorcd that Ssrah Bernhardt
has threatened to commit suicide. Sho
might secure great deal of free ad.
Vertising by resorting to such o
scheme, but really We don't 500 how il
would benefit her ''irst appearance
in the next world. .-~Norrist0U Herald.
The whito-elephant crazo appears to
be dying-not dyeing-out An OK.
change says that out of thirty-six cir
cuses now on tho road, thirty-two ad-
vcrtise white elephants. 1t i suspsct-
ed that tho managers of the other four
shows have joined tho church, and are
trying to load better lives. -Norristown
Herald
A young woman in Now York State
has been killed by attempting to talk
through telephone during thunder.
storm. 1t seems little harsh, per.
haps. to say that sho ought to have
known better, but it is tho most utter
foolishness to try 70 talk against
lightning. Even n woman cannot do
1t successfully.
"Vatp You have mover been n
France, Meess! Zen 'ow arc youSas
rived Mt 80 voll speaking 20 FrenchP'fe-
"Oh, well, Monsieur! ut school, YOU
know, the girl who sat next to me at
dinner used to eat my fat. and used
to do her French exercises for her; so
l got lots of practicor"
Telemachus, don't lot mo hear YOU
laughing at woman again because
she can't sharpen pencil. Whom you
want something in that limo to laugh
DO you just contemplate man cutting
out n paper pattern with pair of
scissors by the united efforts of his
lower jaw and two-thirds
OF his tongue. Darlington Hawkeye.
Yes" he said, 1--WE were out sailing
and noticed yacht some distance of
flying signals Of distress, and when wo
came up with her we found affairs In a
fearful state.' "What was Abo
troubleP" asked his friend; ''waa she
sinkingp" "Worse than that+--all the
liquor had given out" "Indoedl
Well, that was terrible. "--Boston Post.
Tho chemist Ia hapnv- He bsso,t
lime to sleep nights, so busy is ho ox-
tracting the pure essence Of lemon,
orange, strawberry, and othor deliO.
lous fruits from coal tar &r tho soda.
water fountain. And the fruit-erowor.
who has the real thing, fools Blue bc.
cause ca ho can't sell it Mt paying price.
This Is how nature gets left sometimes.
Thero is story told of Lord Hard.
castle meeting Poole on she chain pier
at Brighton. Ho stopped him and
said: "Look here. Poole, I got this
coat OF you. apd SOC how badly II fts."
Poolo took q bit of chalk out of hia