Daily Los Angeles herald., 1884-08-06
Bill Nye's Budget.

Speaking about prohibition, says
Misery Brown, while we sat lying on
tho dump of the blue Tail Fly, II am
prone to allow that the more you pro-
bibit, the more you---all at once--ds.
cover that you have failed to prohibit" :"
"a man once said to me that rum
was the DEVILS drink, that satans home
was filled with the odor of rum, that
perdition was soaked and spicel with
rum and rum punch. You wot not,
said he, the ruin rum has rot Why,
misery Brown said he, rum is my
bette noir.' said l didn't care what
he used II for, he'd always find it very
warmin' to his system. l told him he
could use it for hot bette noir. or a
blance mango, or any Of those fancy
drinks; didn't care"
but the worse time had graphing
with the great enemy, reckon, was in
the later years of the war, when l had
pretty nearly squashed the rebellion.
Grim visaged war had worn me down
pretty well. played the bigetuba in the
rcgimental band and began to sing for
peace
1--WE had been on the march all sum-
t1CT, u betlnb W w ttuNtlth
through dust all day that was just like
ashes, and halted in the red-hot sun to
make coffee. We'd make our coffee in
hve minutes, and sometimes we'd make
il in the middle of the road, but that.
neither here nor there"
1--WE finally found out that we would
make stand in a certain town, and
that Q. NJ. had two barrels of old reli-
able whisky in store. We also found
that we couldn't get any for medical
purposes or anything else. All we could
do was to suffer and wait till the war
closed. l didn't feel like postponing
the thing myself, so proposed to inves-
tigate. The great foe of humanity was
stored in a tobacco house, and the Q.
NJ. slept there of nights between the
barrels. The chances for debauch
looked peaked aud slim in the extreme.
and got in there with an inch auger and
two wash tubs. Later on there was n
sound OF revelry by night"
"rhe next day there was spongy
appearance to the top Of the head which
seemed to be confined to our regiment,
as the result of the sudden giving away
as it were, Of prohibitory restrictions.
1t was very disagreeable day, re-
member. All nature seemed clothed in
gloom, and r. +. Morse, z. ID. O., seem
ed to be in charge Of the proceedings.
Red-eyed regret was everywhere"
1--WE then proceeded to yawn for the
other barrel Of woe, that we might pile
up some more regret and have misery
enough to last us the balance Of the
campaign. We acted on this suggestion,
and with firm resolve on the same
inch auger, we stole once more into the
basement OF the tobacco house.
81 bored nineteen holes into the
atmosphere, and then friend of mine
bored twenty seven distinct holes into
the floor, only to bore through the bs :
ON OF the night. with dull thud
EleveR of us spent most of the night
boring into that floor, and ut three
o'clock a. m. it looked like a hammock
it was so full of holes. The Quarter.
master slept on Though it all. lie slept
in a very audable tone OF voice.
"At last we decided that he was
lying middling close to the barrel, so
we bored closer to the snore. 1t was my
turn to bore, remember, and / took
the suger with heavy heart. l bored
through the floor and for the first tirhe
bored through something besides oxygen
1t was the quartermaster. A wild yell
echoed though the southern confed-
eracy, and pulled out my auger. 1t had
| on the point a atrawberry mark, and a
fragment of one Of those old-fashioned
woven wire gray shirts, such as quarter
masters used to wear.
az remember that we left the tobacco
house. In the hurry we left the two
wash tubs, and the inch auger, and the
$50, 1851 new inch anger holes that had
never been used.--PRck