The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1884-01-14

THE "AO1srERous conKscaEw."
Constitution OF Highly ImpOrfnnt or.
gnnlzatlOn. 'f,4ay = 80

A number Of gentlemen OF assorted sees
and employments, having certain things in
common, and believing that in union Ia
strength, mat on Saturday evening lsst,
adopted constitution and elected ottlc,rs
for the ensuing year. The installation cc,e.
monies vera in keeping with the simplicity
Of republican institutions and the sevsre die.
nifty OF the gentlemen composing. the club;
Tho treasurerelect was fiaed ior being ntst M
from stated meeting Of which he had M
notice. Following Is The constitution: IL
The name Of this club stall be the "Bois.
ferrous Cnrkscrew." YI$:A,.is H I;5751S ~
The officess OF this club shall consist Of a
President (elected .aunua ly by drswing OF
straws,) secretlry aud Treasurer, Is herein
after provided. "',,Iri3 FS--fl ~
PnE.loESr-Tho President shall be en-.
dowed with all powers, duties, responsibili-
and shall be selected for his peculiar unfit.
ness for any other position. 3.
4 Anticipating the incumbent 10 be gentle.
man careful Of bis personal appearance. five
minutes indulgence will be granted him in
each game OF one hundred points, 10 comb
his hair. He may occasionally wesh his
hancs without danger OF impeachment, In /;
consideration OF bis prominence, great tact /
and discrimination in play, and further to
impress him with the great ca amity; which
would undoubtedly. follow any error com.
mitted by him, 1t ID the unalterpblc decree OF
this club, that tTe euchzts s chargeable to him
In snSlo game will, suspend him from i
office for one week; and IT Is hereby pro. s
y:ded that the poorest player In The CANA
shall be elected President pro tempore Nv Iot
aud shall exchange seats ththelate Ulcer. {:
No penalty shall follow any delir 1incy of
the pHsden, pro tempore, for As.not6inp
good eau be expected ol him,he will NOT be
charged with any Shortcomings, For this act
OF ienlency II will be proper at all times to
criticise him, and further, be must ackpowl.
edge the prop iety and justice of such criti.
cisms, and s1k pardon from every member.
except the late deplsea. .ais .T}7rs5G
SECRETARY The Secretary (hy far the
most important officer of.ihe o!ub) shall be !;
selected for his recognized Ghn,iiily, his i'm. I.
moral worth. and his low standing In feet
ant inches. He must measure at least five
feet without shcea md exhibit no holes in
hs s)cks, must veal. Il white necktie at all
meetings OF tho club IS an emblem Of purity.
and shall 2ive bond In tho penal sum OF one
dollar C1nfedern!e money Tor the faithful
performance & all his duties and must keen
chronic diary of all proceedings, This
cilics Is conferred for life, aud for this act NJ
lenieucy he will furnish bis own stationery. I.
and repor; the glms whenever desired by Tia
INDECENT members OF ths club.
IREAsu4ER.-The Treasurer will not be re.
qulrtd 10 give bond or security, there being
no likelihood Of any monty being placed In
bis hands, h.d II by chance there should be, :
bis sond with the character OF security he
might be anxious 10 furnish, would bs value.
less; in either event, the ctb must loose.
For this act OF lcntency the Treasurer viii
defray all expenses incurred by ary member !;
OF the club, and further he Will be REQUIRED
to deposit with the members OF tbs club
holding no ttlics, (Yz aforesaid INDECENT 1
memhels) the sum or cue dollar per week for
the torn Of twenty yta-s, 10 ba feiunded 10 :
the Tres.urer at the expiration Of this period I
with the u5unl brokers' discount Of 100 mar
cent, without Interest. Thisis known as The (
endowment plan and Il adopted by the C.ub
IL preierancs 10 the Tontirc. 80
This officer should be selected with great
care. and principally en- account OF bis non. !.
financial Ibility 10 psy over the weekly In--
s!almrnss, which are generally sdop,ed By
gent members. The Treasurer shall further
be required to mxke monthly statements OF
his tiuanc' al condition, ht'ested be ore tho
unworthy President OF this club. This will
insure the aforesaid indigo members tome
slish: ssc1ri.y for the weekly allowances and I
cause tho Treasurer 10 be- careful not To htz.4
ard any monty in Centripeta', Glucose or
Flying Machine stocks. 4 s7li4'ss,l. ~
Investments in corn and worm lezeuces.
tootn and stump ;e1traolors, y liver padp'
freckle, moth, wart and cock roach exterm..
uators are contidered reliable and will b,
permitted. Thil club would especially rec.
ommend large out.lays by the Treasurer in
light houses, lsnterns, Ice .creepe,s, night.
Keys and cork.screwsas as promising remunera.
tive retutha. A small amount might be
pro6'ably used in the cultivation Of arti.
chokes, slippery elm, elder: and srssairas
bark. Any doubtful inveatment will sut ject
thss officer To impeachment. This officer will
be CONTINUED rs long as his ability TO pay his
instanen,s exists, but funder no clrcum.
stances will he be permitted 10 resign. iE.g5!
1NplGES7a.-Iscosnizrg the fac. OF tho
utter disability Of the INDECENT members OF
this cub, 1t Is hereby provided that they
may bs permitted 10 mekc. alitr and amend
all rulea OF the game at The clos. OF each
hand-xithout any References 10 the un.
worthy, President or rules established by
Hoy!v. aad their decision ls tc remain una..
Iterable. 5G'1li % ,s-S-ttsf .tt.f' f ~ IRE