Smyrna times., 1884-03-05
PHILADELPHIA.
Littleton Coke VS.. Clara FitzpoOdle.
BY THE BALD OF TOWER HALL.

CHAPTER VII.
To the hotel they went-and got something to |
The dinner was finishcd-the meal was complete |
Said the husband: We've been in this famous |
retreat
For week, and I'm thinking that now I shall |
beat
A retreat for myself and my own happy bride,
And return to the city with my wife 10y my side
have bad feeling in heart and in head
Not fullnesS of blood, for I've daily been lied
And say, i'll whisper of him it may please
To be eaten by midges and worried by heas,
II with watering places he haps to be slnltten,
And Will, by mosquitoes and landlords be OHeR L:
II his chest is contracted, and he can initiate
His lungs i'll a chamber of seven by eight;
II good natured fellow, he really don't care
II Ded-DugS gymnaStic climb up on his halr;
II, when proving his own mathematics defective,
He swearS not when finding his bill, i'll perspec-
tive,
Twice what he expected-some mathematician
Having prBcticed the landlord iii double position,
If the man is all this, and then really he thinks
That cnPping and bleeding are good for his
And hopes that the mineral water he drinks
May atone for the loss of his mineral Wealth,
Let him go to the Springs, to the Falls or the
But here let me hint it, my darling, to You,
If reasons my conduct hereafter should shape,
With famous resorts I'll have nothing TO DO"
crusty old fellow was there with his wife,
Who said he intended to finish the season,
And wished he might stay there The rest of his
A score of fair visitors asked for his reason;
He looked up to see if his wife was i'll view,
Then answered: The Fails of Niagara, tum-
bling,
Have done what naught, else under heavens
could do
Have drowned with their thunder the voice of
And senccd n woman eternally grumbling.
| 1t was only the Monday before we came here
had lost on a horse-race some hundreds OF
Next morning, at breakfast, She said to me:
Dear.
Can you give me an eagle to bug me some col
| lars?
l made no reply, but looked black a. December;
Took out of my pocket a volume, and there
| gave her hint she will ever remember;
| read her the poem called NOthlngtO 10 wear.
| But here comes my wife, she who wanted the col
lars
will ask her the question, and she will de-
The emotions she felt when She asked for ten dol
| lars,
And read her the poem called Nothing to
Il felt" she replied, had you stayed from the
| race
At home with your wife, in your own proper
Had you not set the law and the gospel aside,
| BY betting your money, and leaving your bride!
Had you squandered no money for wine or cham
Which, profting nothing, was worse than in
vain!
Had you not your own pockets most sadly abused
Through friends you had treated cigars you had
Had you not, disappointed, returned from the
| race,
With chill in your heart, and cloud on youl
| face?
Had you feeling spite not have vented the
same
On your wife, for your losses in no way to blame
Had you not to your manhood been guilty o
treason,
With no show of defense in the province of rea
son,
I might. with some profit, have listened, whel
there
You read me the poem of Nothing to wear
AS it was, you had squandered some hundred
away
And denied me triHe: felt it was true,
That whatever you read, or whateer you NIGH
say,
In practice your prccepts had nothing to do"
The husband. thus scored by the unruiy memDel
! And spurred by the laughter then shaking tn
walls,
| Put on an expression as black as December','
And left in hurry to look at the Falls.
TO be cOntinued.)
NOTE.-The chap above alluded to afterward
| visited Philadelphia, and, OF course, called
: Tower Hail. but alas! he could not be suuet
The moment he entered the store, the nap on a
: | the clothes stood up and no careSSing wOul
| smooth it. The Vests seemed to be iRueSted wit
contempt. and the Pants painting for revenge
while all the garments so slceiled with indignatiO
I. towards the man who had ill-used his wife, thi
| nothing in the store was small enough for hin
2. The truth is, we make our Clothing for an ami
BILE class OF customers. sOTd the styles of on
Goats will not allow a man to get his back Up
- quarrel with his wife. For this reason, those wi
> live happy ak holas gre those who patronize
g TOWER HALL, may 2l-1
: SIS and $40 Market street. BbiIadeIphia
- GARITEE, MASTEN & ALLEN.