The Bad Lands cow boy. [volume] (Little Missouri, Dakota [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-1886, 1884-10-16

sldered the worst boy in Byesville. 81
Understand, gentlemen, J" 1. said the,
inventor, gravely, "this whole matter.
is to be kept a profound secret. I ask
nothing, until the clericomotor has
publicly proved its usefulness. To
day is Friday, II You have no objec-
tons, we will try it next Sunday 2s5
al The deacons nodded assent. .'5i s ss;
In the meantime, must again urge
upon You the necessity Of the strictest
secrecy. =" ss5 s.s
It had been whispered about Byes.
vile that the committee on selection
had q new candidate to present to the
congregation. Consequently, the
church was filed to its utmost capacity
at an unusually early hour. Notwith-
standing this fact, the first corners were
surprised to find the clerical stranger
there before them As tile church fl
led up, many comments were whispered
over this unusual proceeding, but they
were suppl emented by numerous com.
plimentar illusions to his distinguished
appearance.
The service opened with the doxology
sung byt the CONF tion-and pros
$ceeded in the customary manner. The
congregation was charmed with. the
newcomer. His gestures were grace
ful, though exceedingly numerous, and
This voice was full and deep. So finely
developed we're these admirable quail
ties that when he made the announces
ment that the usual collection would be
taken up, it was noted that he impaired
to it q sympathetic flavor that it never.
before seemed to possess. ISL
It was, however, in the sermon that
he achieved his browning triumph.
Never before in the history Of the Byes-
willie Orthodo xs Church had snch an.
eloquent effort been heard. Replete'
with graceful 5imag gerry and profound
thought, it held their undivided atten-
tion from the opening sentence And
most remark liable Of all !, il wasd delivered
extemp eously 5EsSs
The faces of Deacons Simpson,
Stmp and Grubb wore looks 81 the
sproudest satisfaction and they ex-
changed smiles Of congr atulation across.
the church
Happily they did not know what was
in store for them. .',;s55
AS is und erstood the motive power Of.
the clericomotor was Hex Simpson,
the Sdeacon's harumscarum son who.
was concealed behind the pulpit. At
first the responsib ilitY Of his position
held his froicsome dispo sition IN check,
rand he performed the duties prescribed
for him with exem plary fidelity, but,
as the novelty wore of, his natural
spirit Of mischief asserted itself. Des-
pites his solemn instruction not to- turn
the handle backward, and probably be-
cause Of this very intridiction, he was
dying to try the effect Of the forbidden.
experiment rs i ss
The new clergyman had reached
'Sevente snthly and was just entering
upon a glowing peroration, when he
WAS observed TO slightly hesitate. Al
most immed iately however, he recov.
Tered himself and clearly and forcibly
| CALCULATED, z Sixteenthly II
Hez had commenced xperime nting.i
The reverend gentleman repeated q
few sentences smoothly and then with-
out moments warning shouted
Thirdly !"
lfa The hair on the heads Of sDea cons
Simpson and Stimpson stood on end in
horror, Deacon Grnbb was bald. 1t
was very evident that Hezekia had
thrown all prude nee IN the winds The
new minister, without in the slightest
degree losing the expression Of gravity
which ado led dignity to his untenanee,.
calmly proceeded back ward by Jerks
through sssec pndl I. and firstly. Then
he jumbled together two announc DEMENT'S
and . hymn. and varied the aston ish1ng
performance by rapid sitting down
and rising again O half dozen times.
Following this with q variety 81 wild
gestures, he fiercely. delivered what was
commonly supposed to he q quotation
in Choctaw, and then sudd enly roared: {
aThe usual collection will now. be- 2
The balance of the sentence was lost
in frighlful 81 plosion. intoxicated
with his success; Hez had damned the
crank back too far, and the new main
cylinde r had burst.
The collapsed cleicon1oter sank TO the
floor as the congregatio rushed in dis!
may fromSt The; bull ding. ,.s
The pulpit Of the Orthodox Ghurchat
Byesyille issstill vacant. s$lS s
49,