Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-04-30
don't scold me! [ will pay more atten-
| 49,, +bo newt time. ''-Fre7lcb Fun.

don't scold me! [ will pay more atten-
tion the next time. French Fun.
MANY a woman has been sough
won because of some slight charm, as
for example. through the manner OF do
inc mn her hair. This IS the observa-
tion IF certain writer, who, 1t he knew
Il neelects to add that many a woman
wonld never have been married at all, II
the man could have known how she was
going TO look after marriage before tnaS
hair was done s1p.-RocEt0fa0 courier
Gazette. -,
seNow. brudders an sistahs, Will
now take up collection fur de preach-
err said the colored minister to his con-
eregation few nights ago. AN L
spec'fully advise you ter not pat no but
tons in de counterbution hat, as L is
goin' roun' myself, an will take list OF
button membahs of dis congregation an
make dem de subiec' ob my sermon de
naix meetin. Close dat dorm Ga
Kentucky State Journal.
"AND SO. dear Miss Singleton, you
never married." t'No, dear, did not;
I came very near it, however. My SIX
sisters married within five years, and
went through every engagement without
catch. Even in the most desperate
battles, you know, in the most terrible
massacres, there is always one who es-
capes to tell the tale. "-BurCtngtoe
HaaOkeye.
AMONG the gro6fti which Prof. Sayce
has found scrawled on the ruins OF the
Temple of Seti at Abydos, Egypt, is
one that may not disclose important
historical facts, but cannot be denied
the touch that makes the whole world
kin. It is Greek, and reads: 81, Nj
kanor. am came with Heraklela-
drunk" But fierce polemic might be
waged even on this text. For instance
was Herakleia drunk, or Nikanor?-EG-
| change.
"WHY are you home SO early?" asked
wife of her husband. SIS the singlng
school exhibition out already" mo;
not more than half out" he replied.
"Why didn't you stay to the close?
Weren't you interested in the singingP'
ST was until sixteen-year old boy at
tempted to sing fLarboard Watch Alloy.
Then thought I would come home, go
| to bed and try to forget all about it. =
Philadelphia CAL.
GRooM-stWhat are you doing my
love?" Bride Making out list of
flower seeds which want you to order
for our little garden" "Oh, yes; so |
see: but, my love, you want the flowers
to bloom this summer, don't you!'
"Why, of course" "Well, those you
have put down do not bloom until the
second season." Oh! that is all right
Cali right?" eyes; I am getting the
list from last years catalogue"
SEQ over to the clothing store and
pick yourself out twelve dollar suit,
and I'll come and pay for it" The
mendicant did as he was told. Taking
the clothing store man to one side, he
said to him: "That old dutfer sent me
over to pick out suit of clothes. Now
I want you to let me have my commits
sion, so I, too, will make something by
this little trade. "-7eGas S3ft5nqs.
'PHGBE, is yer got dat gemman's
shirt fixed up nice?" said colored wash
lady to her daughter. No, ma, Jim's
bin WARM it and hain't tuck hit off yet. "
sWal, he mus take hit off dis mint
case de gemman wants it in de mawnin.
Whar's Jim?" "Gone fshin'!' sWal,
den, SEN de gemman one OF Mr.. Smlt s
shirts. Eff he fines out it isn't his we'll
hab time ter fix de right shirt when de
mistake is recticated. Fireman In
DEPENDENT
The scene is in Germany: A fat
gentleman who has not come out of the
bath, half opens the door of his dressing
room, and, in state of bewilderment,
Gales out: ''Boy, what sort of place
is this? Some one has stolen my pantsl''
impossible, sir. This establishment
is strictly honest. will go and see,
but there must be some mistake. %
About five minutes afterwards the fat
gentleman, who is still in the primitive
uniform of the garden of Paradise, calls
the boy again in a voice agitated by I'M
easiness. The boy returns and shouts
in shrill voice: "Oan't find your pants
anywhere, sir. Are you sure you had
any when you came in?"-Iroy I'ele-
| gram.