The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-10-04
Some Observations.

Eyes, sir, ii is"
"Well, now, Mr.. Editor, I'll tell vol
what I'm going to do. I'm introdu
cling the Morning Star brand of coffe,
among your. .IGSfGEeAA2Gtj here. and j
Won II give me your address, III SEND
two pounds of the Morning Star
to your house. l want your wife to
serve you with cup of it, and after
you've tried it, you may just say what
you please about it in your paper"
The editor. of course, beams with
happiness. The prospective donation
of two pounds of choice coffeeis enough
to make any editor happy. Unfortu-
nately, however, his family is away for
the season, and he replies:
'If you had just as soon, suppose
you send that coffee up to the business
managers house. Here he comes, I'll
introduce YOU and having done so,
the observer settled dowa to hard
work. He would have introduced the
philanthropist to the business manager
anyhow. 1t is rule in the Mail office
that all philanthropists shall be intro
duced to the business manager.
The representative of the Morning
Star coffee tells his story very grace
fully to the business manager. "Im
going to send two pounds of our superb
coffee up to your house,"
The business manager has met phi
lanthropists before.
''Iwo pounds of Coffee" he replies;
chow much is the coffee poundP"
"Thirty-fve cents"
"All right; my house is number 2, 1872
Blank street Send up your coffee.
Here S seventy cents"
81 beg your pardon" says the phi
lanthropist; Pm going to give yow the
coffee, and
"But l don't want you to giUe me the
coffee. I'm able to pay for it"
Eyes, yes, | know that; but you know
l expect you to reciprocate by saying
what you think about the Morning
Star in your paper"
Then you want me to give yOu some
thing, do you?"
80, no; l simply expect you to say
whatever you think the coffee deserves. =
1--WE usually trade on q cash basis
the business manager responds, "bu
let's see, two pounds of coffee will b,
worth seventy cents; three lines of loca
seventy-tve cents; you owe a bal
ance of five cents; it will be very hare
work to get very much of a notice int
three lines, but we'll close the deal i
you say so.
The philanthropist, for some reason
couldn't dispute the newspaper finan
cier's business logic, but still he could
hardly comprehend why his generosity
was looked upon in such coldly prac
teal manner as the business man APP
piled to it. He succumbed, however
and concluded that he wouldn't senC
the coffee at all, but would make con
tract for advertising in cash.
The philanthropic scheme of the
coffee man, analysed in a bushes,
manner, was every whit as business
like as it would be on the part of {
newspaper man to step into mercan
tile establishment and say to the pro
prietor; "Here, L am going to Sent
you my paper for three months; afte
you have read it you may give me jus
as many dollars worth of dry goods il
return as you think us deserving off,
Peculiar ideas are entertained re-
garding the newspaper business. Nor,
ridiculous propositions are made t,
newspaper publishers than to any othe
class of business men existing. Not
long ago Texas man wrote the Maj
letter saying that he would appreciat
the publication of the enclosed iten
of general interest,"" and that if tn,
publisher would send him a marked
copy of the paper and advertising rates
he would be pleased to send them casl
advertising when he needed it. The
''item of general interest was al
advertisement The publishers re
piled that if he would kindly SEM
them fifteen dollars in cash as a gift TN,
the rates on any money he might hav,
to loan, they would be pleased to borrow
of him whenever the occasion arose
And why should such absurd propo
sitions be made? Simply because thu
newspaper profession has educated {
good proportion of the public into the
idea that a donation to an editor of
fifteen cent. box of Strawberries, or {
peck of fresh vegetables. is as accept
able as thousand dollar gold piece
would be to an ordinary man. The
coffee man above referred to, after the
conversation had concluded, laughingly
and frankly added: That's all right
its business but we catch lots o.
'em"-Des Holmes Sunday Mail.
"A new danger threatens society
and it comes in the shape of the bicy
Gle. The bicycle is almost noiseless OF
a good road, and young men driving