Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-04-02
PLEASANTRIES.

par-Qg-fapnIsJ LAon0us0
ffNo; / am a scis-Sor-aphlst.
ssWHAT are pauses?" asked teacher
of the primary class. "Things that
grow on cats, piped the small boy at
the foot.-NeeO York Journal.
"Losr. a cameo brooch, representing
Venus and Adonis while walking IN
Sandymount (near Dublin) on Sunday
last, Z" appears in Dublin paper.
A LITTLE girl, after drinking glass
of water from magnetic spring, said:
81 do not feel one particle magnlfed,
and I think these springs are a hum
bug"
4 BOOK publisher announces: "In
press-A Pretty Girl" She IS often in
that pleasant predicament-and the work
is to be continued next week.-NOrriS-
t0a0a Herald.
CARE will kill cat. The care must
be exercised in taking aim. [b is ex-
tremeIy difficult, however, to hit one III
the dark with bottle.-NeaO Orleans
Pjcayaule.
To deacon caught by his brother
minister coming out of a saloon there Is
nothing SO consoling as a sign, eliot
Beef Tea" on the saloon window
Cb3cUgO I9nl6S.
STABLE KEEPER-By the way, shall ]
put in an extra buffalo? English Blood
Couldn't you let me ave an 'Orse, you
know? Er-er-rather not drive buf-
falo first time, you know.
He had been ridiculing her big feet,
and. to get even with him, she replied
that he might have her old seal-skin
sacque made over into a pair of ear
mutfs.-Nea0 York Life.
s'DoEs your baby kick when you try
to put it to sleep?" asked one young
married man of another. ''No," was
the reply, ''but do when [ am asked to
put 1t to sleep. - Christian at Work,
ssMY lady's little feet are my boast, "
was what bard attempted to sing but
the proof-reader thought he had made a
mistake. and changed it to "My lady's
little feet are my boats. "-Bbrt5ngtO9l
Free Press.
s'IsN'T it awful?" cried Julia, as dog
IN the agony of fright went scurrying
past with kettle tied to his tail, Eyes,
indeed" replied Jones. 81 guess there
won't be much left of the kettle. .
Boston Teapot.
''CAN you steer the mainmast down
the forecastle stairs p asked a sea cap
tain of a new hand. Eyes, sir, can if
you will stand below and coil it up. ;"
Captain didn't catechise that man any
more.-NeaU Orleans Item.
ssDoN'r give it away, please, Mil
dred," said Amy to the high school girl,
after reciting an escapade in which she
had been engaged. "No," replied Mil
dred, ssrn make no gratuitous presenta-
oe - (if3y
A Boston man advertises that he re-
covers umbrellas. This man should
have a good run of custom. We would
give him a job ourselves if we thought
he could recover the silk one We lost
last spring. -SonaerUjLIe Journal.
ssTHE man who left part of his fortune
to those three alleged humorists was a
GOOSE rem arked the grave literary
editor. 81 thought he was Michigan
der" p1ped the paragrapher from the
other side Of the room near the fire.
escape.
In China widows who desire to marry
again fix their hair in knot on the back,
with long pin through it. There was
also in the time of Confucius a fashion
for widows who did not want to marry
again, but it has been forgotten. Phil
adel0hiG CAL.
1.-TWO HOURS to the next train out?"
calculated the man who had got left
s'How in thunder shall I be able to kill
the time then?" But he readily accom-
plished this by entering barber shop
and waiting his turn to be shaved
L0aOeU Citizen.
ssJMDIY, where were you yesterday
EVENING"" Swell, the first part of the
evening tied pack of frecrackers to
q dogs tail and he ran under the smoke
house and set it afire, and after that pa
and me went off on a whaling expedi-
ton. = The Judge.
ssSR," sharply remarked a pretty
Boston girl, moving away from young
New Yorker who was seated on the same
sofa with her and exhibited a DISPOSE
ton to abridge the distance between
them, . Sir. the radius weston of your
orbit is getting too short.
"CovER up the legs of that table,"
said the proprietor of furniture van to
his assistant 'tPhat will OF cover thin
up for? Shure they havn't my faylin'."
"Do as tell you. Don't you see An
thony Comstock across the way watch
ing Us Brooklyn Eagle.
A BISMARCK young man received
letter from his girl back In Pennsylva-
MIA in which she said: sob bunny my
Lof for You invilops Nj hart in Chanes
of golden Fer And swamps my sole in
see OF Roasy bis. - The case is more
serious than he thought it was.
"YoUR fare, young lady," said the
stage driver, as pretty miss stepped
from his vehicle and was about tripping
away. "Oh. thank youi responded
the absent-minded little beauty; 81
think your moustache becomes you real
well. Burlington Free Press.
A LADY stepped into the sanctum this
morning and said sweetly: evil you
be kind enough to let me look at the
Christian at Work?" The horse editor
blushed little, but had the presence of
mind to say: Certainly, madam; what
can [ do for you?" Philadelphia CAL.
At the dentists: Monsieur, you have
made me a set of false teeth" ST know
- !, 1,oe 4bo dentist tsYou 1,royoicad