Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1884-07-12


when his wife had propped him up in bed
and stuffed some extra pillows under his
shoulders; now, my dear, take your pen
and ink and ! will dictate letter to
8Peckiewottle. II You will play amenuen-
SIS ! don't see why / can't bs SICK just az
we'll as not"
Mrs Spoopendyke puttered around and
arranged her writing materials. t. Shall l
write on q card with gilt edge, or shall L
take note paper p she asked.
You'd better use paper" replied hr.
Spoopendyke, severely. When want to
convey my ideas on a shingle, III carve 'em
in with knife. Now get ready, for Pm
going TO start, and don't you interrupt me
or you will put me out
"All ready, dear, murmured Mrs. Spoop-
endyke dipping her pen into the ink, and
contemplating her husband anxiously
." Mr. Peter b. Specklewottle, com
menced Mr.. Spoopendyke.
" Is his middle name By asked Mrs.
Sp0Opendyke, resting her elbow on the
table, her head on her hand, and testing
her pen on her bl0tter. " don't think |
like his name, anyway. Peter isn't nice"
If any other name occurs to you put it
in" observed Mr.. SpOopendyke, with a
grOvl You don't need to have a mans
right name in letter. Put it anything and
hurry up, will your Going TO keep me in
suspense all day about who this letter is
going to?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke plunged into her work
and wrote hurriedly for q moment. Now
I've got him in, dear
Got who in2 Anybody / know? Am
I debating private letter TO stranger?
Got some particular friend you want this
note to go to unbeknoWn TO me? Who's IN
there2 I'm going to know who's at the
top before | put my name al the bottom"
why, Mr. SpeckeWottle, of course,
said she looking 81 him with wide-open
eyes. That's what you said. Now 90 on
with the res"
Have you got the date and dear sir in,
toO2" asked Mr.. Sp0opendyke, peevishiy,
for he was trying to think how he should
start his letter.
mo, dear; you didn't say anything about
those" replied his wife. you only said
the name; but I'll put the others in"
viii, will ye?" croaked MIR, SpOoPen-
dyke Sticking on great deal of credits
10 Yourself for your kindness 10 the sick,
amt YEP Willing 10 yield your own prefer
ences in favor of your suffering husband!
Well YOU can't fool me that much Don't
put EN- in, hear me2"
But I've got 'em in" pleaded Mrs.
6poopendyke.
"Then strike 'em outp rosred her hus-
band. "S'pose I'm going to let you put
those things in and let you throw EN- up IN
my face from the moment I get well tillthe
day die? Scratch 'em out tell you.
don't propose to have my life made misera-
bic by reminders Of your kindness when
was fishing around in the grave with one
Icgl Now what have you got?'
Peter b. Specklewottle," said Mrs.
Spaopandyle mentally satisfied there
could be no mistake in that.
Anything to show whether he's man
or a woman9' demandoI Mr. Spoopen-
dyke Any Mr. or Esq hanging 10
it anywhere2"
Certainly" replied Mrs SpoopendylSe.
"It says Mir. Peter b. Specklcwottic
That's the way you told me to write it,
didn't you? Now go on with the letter
Then put; 4 am dying and wish
you"
Great gracious :" calculated Mrs. SpOop-
cndyke, dropping her pen. You are
not dying, dear You don't want the man
to think that'
Why not?" squealed Mr.. Spocpen-
dyke. S'pose man IS going fourteen
blocks out of his way to get the mai
for q man who only has a cold in his head
You put in that I'm dying, or III drop
, over into that corner and write the whole
letter with one application Of the ink
| stand"
/ go on, dear" cooed Mrs. Spoopendylle
q" I've got it So only he may think II
/ strange that dying man should write To
/ him"
"Then say, want you to get nay mail
/ from the office, and tell them will DC
/ over in a day or two Got that?'
Yes" giggled Mrs. spoopendykc
Anything eiseY
Whit are you laughing at2' lfnwiec
| Mr.. Spoopendykc, on whom the 1ncon-
Rruities of his letter had begun 10 dawn
"Think I'm debating comic almanacl
Got = notion that tins letter IS some kind
of a rebus2 Well, it amt, and it amt Z
minstrel entertainment with q funny mar
AT each end Mhat're Won laughing at
Anybody in this country know
Il wasn't laughing, dear muTmuret
Mrs. Spoopendyke, with marveiouslN
straight face. " / was only sympathizini
with you.
uWall. when it takes the form OF visag'
ike YOU screwed up a minute ago wan
TO be hung instead Of sympathized with
Another time you open your mouth iik
that I'm going to put seats IN ana start
church.
And oogitating on this vast improvement
in his wifes anatomy, Mr.. SPoopendykc
forgetting all about his letter, roiled owe
and went to seop.-t Brooklyn Eagle
russo EyERYwuMHR.-EB B. Rail-, druggis
at Histisville. Kan, has ibis to write abou
, Aliens Lung Balsam " IL is the best sell