The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1884-06-17
Sepse and Mnrse,,sr,

L.
There. is never q reduction in the
wages of sin. 81.
The Boston Post man speaks of q
baby as "a crying necessity" i
A Burlington man calls his dogl
"Cork," because his bark Is SO light"
warrenton, Ga, now claims the stin
giest man. He stops his clock nights
TO keep il from wearing out.
The woman who sings "Give me 81
Home by the Sea" generally resides in
the vicinity OF a wash-tub.
Charles Reade only received E5. for
IaPeg Woiiiogton," but be rose peg
higher when he struck for sVery Hard
Cash." IS ss,s.
"Oh, my |" exclaimed little Edith upon
her frst entrance into the roller-sks.ins
rink; "they're oil on castors, aim; theyf'
Chicago is to have English cabs, and
fears are entertained that Chicago girls
will insist on usihg them for slippers.
A telegraph messenger boy 10 Chicago
has bsen'sent to an insspe asylum. Sew
eral times when on Sn >erranl be has
been seen to run.
i Do not let adversity discourage you,
my son. Weresitqot for the kicks which
ii receives, the fJ6tb&ll would never get
up in the world. - ..'.
i A sewing machine agent Was recently
attacked by fierce catamount The
only way the animal avoided buying q
lmachiue Was by climbing tree. sr,s
The story comes from the West that
at an evening dance recently mob
forced it's wav into the building and
hung up the fiddler and the beau. = bu-
Mr.. Gladstone is very simple man
10 bis tastes. He prefers quiet chop
to the 6nest state dinner, and be likes to
take bis chop out 10 the woods. sBa
An Alabama letter carrier has just de-
livered letter written in 1850. Some.
body's watch dog must have got after
hin and hurried him up little.
.No g.rl:c-ea,ing BARRIERS employed
here" is sign which would greatly To-.
crease the patronage OF every Chicago
shaving shop.
There are five times 90 many accor-
dions as guitars in Mexico. This is the
strongest argument We have yet seen
against the United States annexing Mex
leo.
It is said the militia authorities have 8
map Of eli the alleys 10 Boston, so that
in case Of riot the officers will fiad no
difficulty in getting out OF tue way.
Lust year twenty million bottles OF
champagne were forwarded from the
champaene districts. OF these, more
than forty-five million b1ttles we're drunk
10 the United States.
The conductors OF horse cars 10 Val.
paraiso are women. Valparaiso is in
Chill, and il is cold day for . man 10
that city Of consolidated earthquakes
when he neglects to pay his fare.
An old seer predicted that an awful
calamity was about to overtake an Indi-
ana town, and the next day man With q
family of thirteen boys and four dogs
moved in auong them.
A Philadelphia confectioner has two
big cards 10 his window. On one .is in
scribed "Girls Wantsd." and the other
"Tadfy." He evidently knows how to
capture the girls.
England pays fl,0oO,oOc year. will.
ingly, for the luxury Of royal family.
When Eaglishmen sing "God Save the
@ ,een." they do not think Of saving the|
expense.
The Chicago Journal says that what
II costs bachelor to support one vice
will keep wife aud six children. And
vice versa, retorts q cynical bachelor,
only more so, where the vile arrays her.
self like Solomoa in all her glory.
A fashion item says: "Tanned kids
are coming into fashion again." 1t will
he harder than ever now to coax boys TO
90 to school. "Tsnned kids went ont
OF fashion when the old style peda,
goeae stepped down and out with his
rattan. ,5e .sf+ y e.s
Au Ohio match factory turns out
matches at the rate Of about SO. .000, ,000l
q day. And vet when man gets out oi
bed at midnight and feels 10 the safe for
a match, the only one he 6nds resembles |
q Wall street broker during panic
Justice is go slow 10 Missouri that
Charlie Ford, an eminent robber and
murderer, had to commit suicide. II be
had been convicted OF bis crimes he
would have been pardoned out. There
Was no way for him to be punished ex.
cept to kill himself. =
A Mississippi man who writes for .
runaway wife describes her. as having
'shigh cheek bones, upper front teeth
out. crippled in one foot, cross.syed,
and quick spoken" One cannot help
wondering Why the husband didn't run
away instead of the wife. He certainly
had provocation enough. .sss
A Marathon amateur who wrote to
the manager of the Madison Square
theater 10 know il there was no opening
on the stage there for young actor, re-
ceived q reply that there was several
openings in the stage there, and II be
would come on be would drop him
through one Of them with pleasure.
"My dear fellow" said critic, after
examining painting by his artist friend.
"do you not see that you have pinned
that angels robe together with gold
broochi Who ever saw an angel With
a broochl" Artist. after q moment's
reflection: "True, but whoever saw an
angel without Q brooch 2" Critic silenc.
ed. but feeling that be had not stated his
case properly.
A man in . train was. heard to erosn
so frightfully that the passengers took
pity on him, and one Of them gave him
drink ont of whisky flask. ''Do you
feel better ?" asked the giver. 81 do"
said he who had groaned. "What allied
youi' "Ailed me "Yes; what made
you groan so7" "Groani Great land
Of freedom, l was signing"
II want to see you outside for about
FIVE minutes" !" exclaimed an infuriated
youth to q companion, rolling up his
sleeves and assuming q decidedly belli
cose manner, while In q club-room.-