The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1884-05-27

A BAzoo reporter called on a gentleman
versed in such matters, yesterday forenoon
for the purpose of getting his views regard
ing emigration TO Missouri, and the sale oil
land In the state to new corners.
The party to be interviewed, placed him.
self in the proper position, namely, his
legs flung over the back of the chair on
which he sat, and hands in his pockets,
feet swinging, etc.
The reporter then shsrpened his pencil,
at which the victim turned pale and sbiv.
cred.
evil il hurt much ?" he asked.
."Not at ALL" answered the reporter, 81
have interviewed all of the leading men of
the country, and never had fatal result.
You see"
"Well, what do you want to get at?" was
asked.
Emigration to Missouri, you fallen son
of Adam, said the reporter, fixing his eyes
sternly on his victim, and at the same time
making the pencil whiz. l want to find
out why we cannot catch these emigrants,
some of them, and keep them out of Kan
sas We have splendid soil and climate
and we are situated directly in the heart
of the United States, occupying, as We do,
q goodly portion of the belt country where
the bulk of population is found"
"Why don't you see Henry Clay about
it ?" Intercepted the victim.
"Henry Clay is dead
"Hen-ry Clay dead % was the convul-
sive cry, as q shudder ran through his
frame and his eyes were filled with tears.
"Why, yes, Henry Clay passed in his
checks iwenty.6v years ago"
"Then see Mark Twain"
"Mark Twain be id Come now, wipe
yonr eyes aud attend to business. Don't
weep a bucket Of tears over Henry Clay"
But used to know his family so we'll.
His mother used to wash for u.s."
THAT is too thin"
MAY be. Have a cigar"
The reporter took the proposed nicotine,
and after lighting ii, proceeded directly to
cross examine.
ado you have people from'the east COM
ing to see you about buying lands?"
"Emigrants at my Office, are like angels
visits, few and far between.
"Why is it ?" CONTINUED the reporter,
after he had got that down, shat so many
settlers 60 BY Missouri and locate in Kan
sas ?"
81 will tell you"
Here the victim rose from the recum-
bent position that he had last taken on the
floor, and proceeding to a palatial side
board, took therefrom a bottle of bourbon
and two glasses.
Better whisky?n was the inquiry.
"No"-impatiently- land grant given
by the government 10 railroad contractors
is what hurts Us Men living in the far
east can get land along the lines of these
new railroads, west of here, for a mere
song. And not only this, but they can
travel from ocean to ocean, from the At
lantic shore, to the Pacific coast, for twen-
ty-6ve dollars, and have their money re-
funded when they reach their destination
These railroad companies out In Kansas,
Colorado, etc, will take man over their
road, for next to nothing if he will only
settle somewhere along the line of their
But the land in Missouri is richer In
many parts is il mott" asked the reporter.
"In many parts of the state the land is
richer, and the soil is better"
"And you don't have the ravenous grass
hopper to contend with?'
"Hot much. Those grasshoppers are gi-
ants, many of them, and they can kill any
country, if they choose. Why they wear
number II boots, on an average, so have
been told. They travel without trunks or
other baggage In genuine guerilla fashion,
and will swoop down upon q farm and eat
up everything on the mau's place, even
bis last clean shirt-anything is victuals to
them. But joking aside, / should not
want to live where they could &c: at my
cupboard and clothes chest"
"Why don't you advertise Missouri
lands to your utmost"
81 do. / have told the story in print
and by word of mouth, over and over again
but still the emigrant goes to Kansas. Now
look at Missouri" said the victim waxing
eloquent, as he got on chair and stick
ing one thumb in the arm pit of his vest,
waved his other hand over every county in
the state. "Here we are situated In the
very center of our nation, midway between
the stormy Atlantic and
THE SUNNY PACIFIC,
where the lonely Oregon hears no sound
save its own dashings, and half way from
the northern lakes to the balmy gull, where
the gentle alligator glides through the
Shiny mud, and winks at the solitary
steamer ploughing its way along the reedy
river. How natural it is that Missouri
should be rallying point for the different
sections of the Union, engaging the atten-
tion of the tourist from the north, the
south, the east, or the west, whatever may
be the object of his travels. Missouri can
be seen on the map stretching away to
the 95th meridian on the west, and reach
ing to the goth on the east. She affords