The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1884-08-07
W.T. AND HUMOR.
When Winters breeze

When Winters breeze
Denudes the trees
And nature settles down to freeze;
When round the door
The wild winds roar
And cold comes through the cracked Old
Our friends forget to shut the door.
Oil City Blizzard.
Elgin, Ill.,. has a butter ring. Next
thing we know we shall hear of nap
kin ring, or dinner-bell ring.
Teacher-"What happens when q
light falls into the water at an angle of
forty-f7e degreesP" Pupil-''It goes
out. Der SchaM.
''The city must put its foot down on
such corruption" shrieks an excited
contemporary. But it can't, you know,
Corporations have no solos.-Lye.
A woman in San Francisco has been
appointed to the position of conductor
IN line of horse-cars. At last the
''dream of fare woman is realized.
Leap year is good time to engrave
indelibly upon the hearts of the young
men that much misery is caused by not
saying mo- at the right time.-Basfalo
Express.
At the coming leap-year ball some Of
the ladies propose to turn live mouse
loose in the room. just to see the poor,
timid gentlemen jump up On the chairs
and squeal.
A Nashville man was fined $500 for
kissing a schoolteacher. If it hadn't
been for two or three of the scholars
who caught them at it she wouldn't
have charged him cent
A burglar who has climbed up to .
garret window on a ladder is arrested
BY voice shouting, Hello, there.
what do you wantP" '.May l ask you
for glass Of fresh waterp''
When q young woman is in love she
turns to the poets corner first on pick
ing up the local paper. After she is
married she turns first to the advertise
ments of the dry goods stores
Ladies imagine that roller-skating is
fine way to work off superf1uous flesh.
The belief seems we'll founded. One
young lady dropped 127 pounds at the
ring recently, and dropped it hard.
A sewing-machine agent was recent
ly attacked by fierce catamount near
Milford. Strange as it may appear,
the catamount escaped without buying
one of the machines. -Philade, phia Call.
..Sagacious, said Mr.. Griph, '.why
that dog of mine was the most proud,
noble and sagacious dog that ever
lived! Why, when anybody was look
ing he'd pretend not to know me. -
Boston Post.
Patti, they say, is an inveterate onion
eater. If we have ever said anything
against Nicolini, we take it back. How
true it is that one-half the world does
not know what the other half has to 60
through with.
sometimes get discouraged,
signed Parson Jones; ':for aught can
see men are as bad as ever" "How-
ever" he continued, IF they should
all become perfect, don't know what
l should do for living"
They do say that the photograph Of
a Colorado Senator got mixed into
pack of cards in use at game in
Washington and wasn't noticed for
eight hands. everybody playing it for
the Jack of spades. Post.
There is an old man in Clay County,
North Carolina, who has borne through
ninety-two years the burden of the
name of Alexander Gumbleton Ruff1e-
ton Scuf1leion ODerda Whittleton South
enhall Benjamin Franklin Squires.
The average citizen wants the Chin
neys in his house plastered inside and
out to make then: fire proof, and yet
he empties ashes into q barrel in the
woodshed and expects Providence to
douse on the water in case of fire.
Detroit Free Pres.
A Chicago journal modestly suggests
that the celebration of the fourth CEN
tennial of the discovery of America
should be held in that city, because it
sis the pivot city of the United States"
Chicago is the pivot city in the sense
that they get everything turned around
Pest.
Queen Victoria, speaking in her new
book of an accident that befell her and
her gillie, says that she was much
to find "that poor Browns
legs had been dreadfully cut" What
shocking improperly! A Well-bred |
American woman would tramp all |
around Robin Hoods barn after the
word climbs. .''-Rochester Democrat. \
''He's not what you call strictly hand
some" said the Major, beaming through
his glasses on an utterly hideous baby
as it lay peacefully bowling in its
mothers arms, ''but it's the kind of /
face that grows on you," was the in
dignant and unexpected reply of the
being. YOU'D DO bottor-
looking if it had.''
A girl out west is said to have refused
} telegraph lineman three times in as
many months because he was ''too
much of a wanderer-he wandered
rom pole to pole and from climb to
climb, and if he should come home
ned be so 'insulate' that he'd make
,ne's hair stand up straight and there'd
Do no end to batteries and crosses. ,"
Footprints of men and women, sup
posed to have been left on the harden
ng soil fifty thousand years ago, have
oeen discovered in Nicaragua. Those
# the women are distinguished from
hose made by the men by the frequen-
y with which they wheel about and
'oint in the opposite direction when
heir owners turned around to see what
,ther women didn't have on.
The man who is poor puts on lots Of
tyle, and pretends he is rich. while
he man who lays away thousands every
'ear says he is losing money, and ex-
,ects to go to the almshouse shortly.
This accounts for the hotel clerk wear
ng huge diamond, and the bond
lolding statesman going around in
eady-made clothes that don't fit him,
ooking sadly in need of hair cut
A little girl in school being asked the
'ther day by member of the Board
# Education, "Who make our lawsp"
Congress. 'And how is
t dividedp" asked the gentleman. The
title girl hesitated, but finally said:
Into civilized, half-civilized. and saw
ge. SIR" Every good" said the gen.
leman; ''but / do not see why you
hould have hesitated in your reply"
CAUSE OF FAILURE.
Want of confidence accounts for
half of the business failures of