Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1884-11-05
A Very Bashful Man.

Senator Sebastian, of Arkansas,
was a native of Hickman county,
Tennessee. On one occasion member
of Congress was lamenting his BASH
fulness and awkwardness. "Why,"
said the Senator from Rackensack,
"you don't know what bashfulness is.
Let me tell you story, and when /
get through will stand the pop if
you don't agree that you never knew
anything about bashfulness and its
painful effects. / was the most bash
full boy east of the Alleghenies. j
wouldn't look at a girl, much less
speak to a maiden; but for all that |
fell desperately in love with a sweet,
beautiful neighbor girl. 1t was a de-
sirable match on both sides, and the
old folks saw the drift, and fixed it
up. | thought l should die just
thinking of it. | was a gawky, awk-
ward country lout, about nineteen
years old. She was an intelligent,
refined and fairly well educated girl
in country and that time when the
girls had superior advantages, and
were therefore superior in culture to
the boys. | fixed the day as far as l
could have it put off. | lay awake in
a cold.perspiration as the time drew
near, and shivered with agony as |
thought Of the terrible ordeal.
"The dreadful day came. / went
through the programme somehow in a
dazed, confused, mechanical sort of
way, like an automaton BOBBY,
through supper. where could eat
nothing, and through such games as
"possam pie" "Sister Phoebe" and all
that sort of thing. The guests one by
one departed, and my hair began to
stand on end. Beyond the awful cur
tain of Isis lay the terrible unknown.
My blood grew cold and boiled by
turns. | was in fever and then an
ague, pale and flushed by turns. !
felt like fleeing to the woods, spending
the night in the barn, leaving for the
West never to return. | was deeply
devoted to Sallie. l loved her harder
than a mule can kick but that dread
full ordeal l could not, / dared not
stand it. Finally the last guest was
gone, the bride retired, the family
went to bed, and l was left alone with
the old man. "John," said he, "you
can take that candle; you you will
find your room just over this. Good
night, John, and may the Lord have
mercy on your soul, and with a mis-
chievous twinkle of his fine gray eye
the old man left the room. | mental
ly said amen to his Heaven help
you, and when l heard him close a
distant door, staggered to my feet and
seized the dip with a nervous grasp.
stood some minutes contemplating
my fate, and the inevitable and speedy
doom about to overwhelm me. l
knew it could not be avoided, and yet
/ hesitated to meet my fate like a
man. | stood so long that three love
letters had grown on the wick of the
tallow dip and winding sheet was
decorating the side of the brass
candlestick.
"a happy thought struck me. 1
hastily climbed the stairs, marked the
position of the landing and the door
of the bridal chamber. | would have
died before | would have disrobed in
that holy chamber, where awaited me
a trembling and beautiful girl, a
blushing maiden clothed upon with
her own beauty and modesty, and her
snowy robe do mutt. / would make the
usual preparations without, blow out
the light, open the door and friendly
night would shield my shrinking mod.
esty and bashfulness and grateful
darkness at least mitigate the horror
of the situation. 1t was soon done
Preparations for retiring were few
and simple in their character in Hick,
man, altogether consisting of disrob
ing, and owing to scarcity of cloth in
those days man was somewhere near
the Adamic state when he was pre-.
pared to WOO sweet sleep. The dread
full hour had come. l was ready. ]
blew out the light, grasped the door
knob with deathly grip and ner'
vous clutch; one moment and il
would be over. One moment and il
was over by a----sight. leaped
within, and there around a glowing
hickory fire, with candles brightly
burning on mantel and bureau, was
the blushing bride, surrounded by hel
six lovely bridesmaids"