The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1884-05-07
WIT AND WISDOM.

ALONE exhibitions Picture of an old
bachelor.
WHERE nothing is, the King has lost
his right.
liz who anticipates misfortune falls on
his back and breaks his nose.
WHEN is butter like Irish children?
When it is made into little pats.
To MANY who have hoped and waited
has come good cause to be elated.
RESIDENTS of Colorado have adopted
the Norwegian shoe. The Norwegian
shoe is big thing.
In courtship the position Of purser
is occupied by man, while woman looks
after the rigging aud stays.
"WoMEN," it is said, Jump at con-
clusions." We never heard mice called
by that name before. i OSlon Star.
Too MANY persons like to tell how
cuff they "nsed to be-" We always
shun those "tuif sinners for fear they
may have a relapse.
"WHAT is this big corner in pork
hear about?" asked Laura across the
CHEEKY tea table. "The big corner in
pork" replied Tom, sis the ham,"
A HEALTH journal says that you ought
to take threc.quartcrs OF IN hour for
your dinner. 1t is well also to add
few vegetables and piece of meat.
He would not marry her because she
had false teeth. But when his wife
kept him awake for nights with tooth
ache and neuralgia, he wished he had.
NEWSPAPER advertising cOmpels in
quiry, and when the article offered is Of
| good quality and at fair price, the nat
ural result is increased sale. ;-lfcG regor
Ne,Cs.
IT has been discovered that Tennes-
see man has four living wives. He GER
iainly has no excuse for not always hav-
ing at least one clean shirt for M emer-
gency
LEAP year is good time to engrave
iudelibly upon the hearts OF tho young
men that much misery is caused by not
saying mo at the right time.-BuDato
Express
ST seems to me that all the plagues
of Egypt came together and hit me at
once, in different place. says Baker
Pacha, according 10 the Burlington
HawkeyC.
An exchange notes the fact that
complete piece of music can now DO
bought for the same price rs iive.cent
cigar. Yes, but the bother Of it is, it's
Just about the same quality.
In recent Western political convcn-
ton an cx-prcacher, who is now n poll
tcian, offered the following resolution !:
"Rcsolucd, That the weak shall inherit
the earth; and, further resolved, that we
are the weak"
FIRST DUDE: "Ah, say, would you
marry the daughter of pirate ?" Sec
ond dude: saw, certainly not; but
: once paid attention to the daughter of a
free bootcr, and don't you know, go'
, the worst of 1t"
EDITH (aged nine) -"flave you written
) all the invitations to my party mammal"
Mamma-"Yes, Edith Edith-"But
the best part will be when the accep-
tons and receptions begin to come in,
, won't it, mamma"
Az English noblcman now travelling
!, in the West has offered his heart anC
, hand TO n servaDt-girI. Perhaps he
. knows what wages scrvant-girls get in
| this country and is after her money
Phiiadc,phia CaH
A PATERSON girl cured lover of his
1 infatuotion by striking him over the
i head with bottle of patent medicine
~ The proprlctors Of the stuff are ofte
p him for sworn certificate to add to thu
Il almanac literature OF the day Bis
)" mdrck Tribune.
DIDN'T you promise to love, hone
!, and obey me p said the husband alte
IS n wordy wrangle with his wife. eyes,
10 came the reply with hiss, "but 20
- were so exceedingly tender then that
u u thought you'd always let me have m
= own way. That's why promised you.
o Phiiad, JJhid Hcd|H.