davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
T.. e Kind Ofa Wife He Wants.

You say you demand the noblest
 type of useful womanhood in your
 wife. If that is the sort of woman
 you want marry Nora Mulligan, your
 laundress's daughter. She wears
 cowhide shoes, Is gniltless of corsets,
 never had sick day in herllfe, takes in washing, goes out house cleaning and cooks for family of seven ahil dren, her mother, and three $
 men who board with her. I st
 think she would marry pu, because Con Began, the track walker, is her style of man. Let us just examine into your qualifications as 8 model husband after your own matrimonial ideas, my boy. Gan you shoulder a barrel of four and carry it down to the cellar? Can you saw and split ten cords of hickory wood in the Fall so as to have ready fuel all Winter Can you spade up half an acre of ground for a kitchen garden? Do
 you know what will take the Iiny taste out of the new cistern, and can you patch the little leak in the kitch- en roof? Can you bring home pane of glass and wad of putty and re- pair damages in the sitting room window! Can you hang some cheap paper on the kitchen? Can you fix the front gate so it will not sag? Can you do anything about the house that Con Began can? My dear boy you see why Nora Mulligsn will have none of you; she wants higher type of true manhood. You expect to hire men to do all the mans work about the house, but you want your wife to do everything that a2J I0l1aG can dc Believe me, my dear son, nine-tenths of the girls who play the piano 50 charmingly, whom you in your limit ed knowledge set down as "mere butterflies of fashion," are better it. ted for wives than you are for hus- band. If you went to marry first class cook and experienced house keeper do your courting in the intel ligence office. But if you want wife, marry the girl you love, with dimpled hands and face like the sunlight, and her love will teach her all these things, my boy, long before you have learned one-half of you own lesssoh. R. J. Burdetts in the Burlington
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
How He Struck" a Good Man.

Old Simon went around to collect money for the church. Meeting old Jasper he said:
 "Brudder Jasper, de church am in sort ob strait, an we wants yer ter tribute little snthin' ter help de cause"
 "Yer's a good man ain't yer, Brud- der Simon?"
 Tries ter be, brudder; tries ter be-"
 "Wall, I'se mighty willin' ter hep de cause, but ain't got no money wid me. Would yer 'cept O order on a good man?"
 "Sartin, I would"
 "Wall, I gin yer an order on yer self fur five dollars. Though I'd dun forgot de time when yer cotch ne drunk an borried dat money from me, chi"
 "W'y brudder-"
 "W'y brndder, nothin'. Go away from heah, yer ashY lookin' rascal UT I'll frail yer wid linn till yer kain't holler," and SimoR had gone
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
Tripped By The Judge.

a A colored man named Harvey Long was arrested ill New York on the night of September 8th, on com plaint of Mary Odell, who charged that, while she was stepping on a Third avenue car, Long robbed her of her gold watch valued at $50. The prisoner was indicted and called for trial before Recorder Smyth, in the Court of General Sessions. Mrs. Odell identified her property. Long, in his defense swore positively that the timepiece was his own, and that the woman was mistaken.
 "Where's the keyF" asked the Court.
 The prisoner fumbled in his pockets for some minutes and then replied, II guess it's homc."
 "What kind of 8 key was it?" asked the recorder.
 "A common one," answered Long.
 You are sure you wound the watch up often?" asked the Court.
 "Yes, sir, every day." quickly re- sponded the negro.
 A common watch key was then ,,,oouro6 from ono of tho Y,orsons in Court by tue Recorder, who handed it to Long with the watch and re quested him to wind up the watch.
 The prisoner opened the back case of the watch, but became very ner- vous when he discovered that there was DO keyhole there. The watch was stemwinder. Long was sen tenced to State Prison for five years and SIX months.-BrooklyD Eagle.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

One time frog and a hop7t6us they met, and the frog assailed the hop-tode' cos it was clumsey, but the tode It sed, "If you will come here on this fat stone where we can start even, I'll beat you jumping hi, two best of three" So they done it. and the first time the tode it only just cleared the stone. but the frog it went so high that it hurt itself com down, and cudn't jump no moro at all, and the tode beate the other two times. Little Johnny's Fables.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

This district has no adequate water supply, tho pressure in the mains be- ing too low to be of much use against a fire of any magnitude. To partially relieve thls condition of affairs the fire commlssloners have adopted a plan which provides for two movable tanks, IS feet in length and 6 feet in width and depth, to be mounted on wheels and drawn about as required by horses. Water from the North River is to be forced by the fireboats through B inch hose into one end of these tanks, and pumped out at the side by fire engines. Each tank will hold 4.00O gallons, and will afford work for three fire engines. No point in the dry goods district is more than mile from the river, and the fireboats have often sent water thro' more than 1900 feet of hose. The boats are now relied on to force water through 4.OOO feet of hose, and the fire engines to carry it the rest of the mile. The somewhat peculiar confguration of New York, being simply a long, narrow tongue of land with deep tide channels on each side, renders such, or some corresponding project. extremely feaslble.-Scien- tific American.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
A Model School Building.

Hartford, Conn, has recently com. pleted a new high school building to replace one burned two years ago
 The building is 236 feet by 100 feet
 two stories nigh, with basement and attic; clock tower 126 feet high and an astronomical tower 98 feet high. The building is of brick with stone tt1zTiE1ccGT21ngs, and the total cost was $255,0OO. The floors are on brick arches supported by rolled iron beams; tbe stairs are of stone on brick arches; the heating boilers are in a detached building; the walls of the main building are twenty inches thick, lnclosing an air space from foundation to roof of four inches width, and the entire structure is in- tended to be perfectly freproof. - There are ten class and recitation rooms, play rooms for indictment weather, a hall capable of seating 1,2O0 persons, large lecture room, chemical laboratory, and observatory with dome IT feet in diameter con taining an equatorial telescope with g inches aperture, from the Alvan Clark manufactory, at Cambridge port, Mass.-Seientitic Ame rican.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

COMPETENCY OF WITNESS IN MARY LAND.--A witness was objected to ID the trial of suit about a party wall in Baltimore, Md, last week on ac- count of his religious belief. The presiding justice said that the Con stitution ot the State provides that a witness shall believe ID God, but does not undertake to define what is meant by that word. If a man be lieves in moral responsibility and a system of rewards and punishments in this world to come, he Is cOmpe tent witness. The witness ansN cred that he did so believe, and the Judge sad: "Then you are as competent a witness as any man in Maryland"
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

A simple and effective device for announcing to passengers on cars and boats the name ot the next sta tion or landing, consists simply of a box containing a revolving drum made of light material, and having printed upon or attached to its face the names of the different stations of the route arranged in the order nam- ed. There IS m the front of the box a window through which the names may be read by the paWl and ratchet mechanism at the end of the box Ex.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Tucson editors are proverb;al for thelr gallaRtry to the fair sex, but one of them got discouraged on New Years day and swore of. He found one of the 160-pound fairies of his city trying to pick her way across a muddy street. What else could he do? He took her in his arms and landed her dry-shod on the other side, when she smilingly said: "Oh, that is just too lovely for anything. Let's go back" That editor has gone into winter quarters.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

How FIRE MAY BE CARRIED IN Cor ToN.-Edward Atkinson, of Boston says: Fire turks in a cotton bale for weeks. The cotton which was nj .red somewhat over year ago in Biddefcrd,., Me was moved to South Boston for sale. The fire broke out more than once while ;t was at South Boston being made ready for sale. It was then sold at auction. The fire broke cut again in one parcel which 1t was on the cars being carried away and in another parcel after it had been recelvea at the factory where it was to be used. The latest outbreak was, I think, thirty days after the original fire"
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
Judge Waite's Amusing Ad
 Ventu res.

" T OOA ooA ANOAs
 Having an imperative engagement in
 Baltimore some time ago, Chief Jus
 tice Waite of the Supreme Court
 hurried to the Baltimore and Ohio
 depot ten minutes before the train
 started. As he was about to pur. chase a ticket he discovered to his
 horror that he had only 8 few pen
 nies in his pocket. He looked around
 for friend, but finding none he re- solved to use desperate measures. He filed up in the line to the ticket window. As he reached the agent he
 smiled an awful smile across the full width of his enormous mouth and asked the ticket agent if he knew him.
 ''No, I do6'tt," snarled the agent; and what is more, I don't want to. What do you Want?"
 q want ticket to Baltimore and return. I am Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. I have no money with me. It is purely accidental. l can give you my personal check, !" replied the representative of Jus tice.
 "On, I know you. I know all the bloods. But that dodge won't work on me. I have just had two members of the Cabinet try to bilk me out of tickets and no Chief Justice dodge gets me. Take your ugly mug out of the window and get out of the way of people who have money"
 The Chief Justice glared. He could not fine the young man for con tempt of Court. He felt worse than if he had been a real fraud, aGd he blushed and perspired so that the agent had his belief strengthened. The Chief Justice dashed out ot the station to See if he could not find some cDe to identify him. He had only five minutes left. It was too short time to run to the capitol. He saw no one. Across the street there was a saloon and an eating house The Chief Justice made 8 rush for the place, but stopped at the door. Spying a private entrance, he rushed in and acosted the proprietor with the frantic inquiry of do you know mel"
 "You bet yer hsad do, yer honor,' said a short-haired freckeled face man behind the bar; ''ye are the shuprame coort. I see ye every day going by hear on the cars"
 "WIll you cash my check? I have no time to explain" Here the Justice gr abbed piece of paper and a pen upon desk near by and began to write hurridly.
 ''Shure, I will. I have seen old boys of on a tear before get out of money. Trusht me, SOFT. Is it a twenty ye want? Here it is. Will ye have drop before ye run?"
 But before any further explana- ton could be made the Chief Justice had grabbed the money and was run hing across the street. In some way the ticket agent had learned of his blunder during the Judges absence, and was all politeness when he saw the money. Mir. Waite barely made the train, but he has not had such a shock to h1s dignity since he went upon the Bench of the Supreme Court.-Chicago Daily News.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

temporary. It says: "The Oakland Times complains that at the end of the year there were $I30,O00,0OO in the United States Treasury. and says this is not the way things were under the last Democratic administration. for once the Vidette and the Times agree. At the close of the last Dem ocratic administration the Treasury was stolen dry, the Government bank rupted and unable to negotiate loans for less than 12 per cent, and a civil war upon our hands"
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

4 FRIGHTFUL ExPERIENcE.-Nerve and presence of mind saved John H. Feldkemp's life. He is cutter in a Cincinnati clothing store. While he was operating a machine spring broke, and as he stopped to plck up a detached piece, his long beard was caught and rapidly wound into the machinery, which threatened to draw in his head and crush it. Instantly he threw out hls arms and braced them against the frame of the cutter and thus he stood until his beard had been pulled out by the roots and a part of his chm had been torn off, exposing the gum of his lower jaw.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

A FLOATING FIELD OF PUMICESToNE The steamship Boutwell, Castle, which arrived to-day from London, reports having passed througe an immense field of pumice stone ex- tending from latitude SC south and longitude 6Oo east to latitude 16o and longitude 1902 east. The pumice stone varied in color from grey to dark red, and there was for 8 long time no getting away from it. Its appearance is supposed to be attribu- table to the recent volcanic disturb ances in the Indian Archipelago. - South Australian Observer, 29th Dec, 1883.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

The Mexican Central Railroad has developed water in sections of Mex leo which were regarded as irreclaim- able deserts. The necessity of find ing water led to the sinking of wells, when water was found at depth of few feet and in such an abundance that the natives talk of erecting windmills and using it for irrigation.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

4 LIVELY OLD MAN-In the three days after his return from London to Paris, correspondent writes, De Lesseps had been to the Italian opera, three dinner parties, and gone out daily to ride with eight of his ten children. He had besides got through with all the office work that had accumulated in his absence, been interviewed by journalists from all parts of the world, given cues 10 friendly editor, checked housekeep- CTS accounts. and embraced a poet ess who called on him to read a poem in 400 lines, of which he was the hero.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

The floating gardens at Kashmir in Eastern Asia seem to the worlds wonder. They cover an expanse ot water about nine miles'i in circumfel ence,and on a subsoil of grasses and equatTc plants they grow melons and cucumbers, and crop is raised of great value.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
A Butter Test.

A German doctor says: Melt some butter, soak worsted or 8 wick in it; when cold light 1t with a candle; blow it out; if it is oleomar garine it will smell like a blown out if 1t is butter it will smell like butter.-New York Herald.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
The DOnkey's Dream.

A donkey lay him down to sleep, And as he slept and sighed full deep, He was observed (strange sightD to
 weep,
 As if in anguished mood. A gentle mule that lay near by, The donkey reused, and, with sigh And kindly voice, inquired why
 Those tears he did exude. The donkey, while he trembled OCT, And dropped cold sweat from every
 pore, Made answer in fearful roar:
 I dreamed l was a dude.',
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Ed. Rspublican:-What's your opinion of Fred Douglass marriage with white wo- man? INQUIRNG DEMOCRAT.
 Our opinion is that Fred Douglass marriage was his own affair; not ours-nor yours.-Cedar Rapids Re publican.
 This is as pungent as the answer of the young school ma'am to the meddlesome neighborhood gossip: "Some folks sez, Miss Jones, that you are engaged und some sez you ain't. If anybody axes me abont It. what shall I tell emf" "Tell them" :" replied the lady, ''that you do not know, and furthermore that 1t is none of your business"
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Miss Lloyd, the young lady who is announced to marry the great apostle of catholicism, is not only handsome and talented, but rich enough to support Oscar and permit him to indulge in his expensive though ridiculous antics.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Rev. Jasper is martyr to science, He says the membership of hls church has dwindEed from two thousand to about twenty since his remarkable utterance: ''The sun do move" But he will never retrograde from that great truth, not even to get back his wandering sheep.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

All bachelors would like to shake hands with the man named Morse who recently got married and four weeks later applied to parliament to have his name changed to Re morse.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
Fire Protection in New York

Between Broadway and West Broadway, Canal and Duane streets, this city, is contained merchandise of a greater value than in any other section of like size ID the country.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

"GriDgo" informs the Call that there are three mlllionairessess in Boston. The Contra Costa Gazette says: ''San Francisco can beat that; the latter city has at least a half dozen millionaire-asses."
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

The reason why 8 woman always adds a postscript to her letter is because she Is bound to have the last word, if she has to write 1t her. self.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

The Australian colonies are gradu ally forming navy. The Protector a powerful cruiser, carrying six for midable guns, has just been launched for South Australia. Melbourne has torpedo and gun boats, and New Zealand has similarly provided her self.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

A Kansas Justice of the Peace has reduced his matrimonial business to 6 very brief and concise formuls. This is the ceremony: Have 'erf" "Yes." Have imp Married, g."
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

The latest patent 70 be taken out is for sheetiron Elghtcaps. They are to be used in New Jersey during mcs- quito tune.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

WHAT INFLUENCED THE JURY.-A man had met a girl in lonely place and forcibly kissed her. She was terribly indignant ard had him ar rested. She gave an account on the witness stand of how he gazed at her intently, and then suddenly throwing his arms around her imprinted a kiss upon her lips. The prisoner made no defense, and the jury was expect ed to promptly convict hlm of as sault. They returned to the Court room. "The jury would like to ask the young lady two questions" the foreman said. The Judge consented and she went on the stand. "Did you wear the Jersey that you've got on noww "Yes, sir," was the de mure reply. And was your hair banged like that?" ''Yes, sir" "Then, your Honor, we acquit the prisoner on the grounds of emotional insan- ity."
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

A mole on the nose is said to ind 7 cate that 8 man will be great traT~ eler. A corn on the toe indicate, that he will get others to do as much of bis traVeling as possible.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Gen. Butler has resolved never to smoke again in this world. His in tent1on as to what he will do in the next are not so we'll known.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Wilkie Collins new story IS called q say No" Somebody must have been trying to borrow 8 fve-pound note of Wilkie.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
NO. Is.

of the house on cold Monday mOrK'' ing to shovel paths under the clotha< lines ever written poem like Snow Bound"
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
Jasper added to himself:

Fooled dat niggar, sho. It was ne what borried five dollars from him. when we was bof drunk. A mans got ter hustle outen bed soon in de mornin', of he pulls de wool ober dis chickens yes."-Travel-
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

"CRn you tell me what tune it is?" SsAed 8 lady while waiting m g bank s'No,T 10; ' eTrI got the teller. Next window please"
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

A Boston woman has discarded her pug dog and now pets her husband
 It must have been an awfully dlsa- greabis dog
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
ONr PATIENT WoRTH S25 OOO OOO

ONE PATENT WORTH $25,OOO,O0O.- The value of the telephonic patent is and we very much doubt if it could now be purchased for $55, 100000. It is probably by far the most valuable single patent which has ever been issued. - Electri- clan.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

The ham for a sandwich is a sort of go-betweeA and 1t Is Lot meat that. it should be respected
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

A saloon sign in Clesvelsnd reads> ''Ise Kreme Sallune." Any girl can guess what 1t means.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

The Oakland Videtts gives the great reform party" a hard blow when, in reply to an Oakland con
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Whittier was never married. No man whose wife had kicked him out
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09
0. F. KUENCER.

0. F. KUENCER. kssayer ( Analytical Chemist. Office: Lone Star ConcsHtrator. ASSaying in all it's Branches. Gold and Silver Bullion
 Melted into Bars
 And Stamped. Deputy c. 5. Mineral Surveyor
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

Entered at tho postofice in Mineral Park a Sooond-class matter.
Mohave County miner., 1884-03-09

L.J LASsELL, PRACTICAL ASSAYER, KINGMAN, ARIZONA. Assaying, Melting and Refining done at short notice and at
 Reasonable Rates. Assay Office in the rear of Ryan & Cos Saloon.
The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1884-12-04

Washington Special:
Delegate Maginnis' bill to abolish the mill.
tary reservation of Fort Rice in Dakota and op-
en- it to settlement ls before the committee OF
the whole in the house, as are also Mr.. Mel
sons bills. Bills to accept and ratfy agree
ments made with the Sioux to grant right Of
way to the Chicago, Milwaukee & st. Paul
Railway company through the big Sioux
reservation, and to accept and ratify agree
ments made with the Sioux to grant
right Of way to the Dakota Cen
tral Railway company through !g the
the committee is one to establish an assay
Office at Deadwood. Here, too, is the home
stead monument bill, for which score of
Dakota towns would claim the honor of dona-
ting site and a bonus, if it ever gets past the
presidents desk. The bill introduced by Mr.
commission (similar to the Mississippi river
commission) to superintend and carry into
execution the plans for the improvement
Of the navigation of said river from
its mouth to it's headwaters, is in the
same embryo state before the committee Of
the whole. It obviously. claims the support
Of Dakota and Montana, if not of Minnesots.
Nebraska and Iowa, whose citizens are ali
more or less interested. The only Dakota
measure on the calendar ready for q vote
is that vacating all of the Fort Randall
military reservation east of the Missouri
Far down on the senate calendar, ready for
some sort OF action, are two or three import.
ant Dakota bills. One is the last report of
the committee on territories on the subject
of division. This bill stto enable the people Of
that part of the Territory of Dakota south OF the
forty sixth parallel of north latitude to form .
admission Of the state into the Union on an
annal flooding with the original states and for