National Republican. (Washington City (D.C.)) 1872-1888, 1884-12-13
HOW TO RETRENCH.
THE PROBLEM FINALLY SOLVED ny AN
ANXIOUS GOVERNMENT CLERK.
An Interesting Discussion as to Where House,
hold Economy Should Begin In View OF the
Prospect OF Discharge when the Next Ad-
ministration Comes Into Power.

DEthhlnhb tOOlcut EuOop shSAo ~ nv
doubt about IL now. The electoral col
lego met yesterday and declared Cleye-
land and Hendricks elected"
ibid they2" said Mrs. Perkins, in
differently, II don't see that IL makes
very much difference to us. You weren't
q candidate anyway. Plantagenet, take
your elbows of the table,"
"ohl u.s." replied Mr.. Perkins sarcastic
cally. ut doesn't make any difference
to us. Only on the fifth of March I'll be
bounced. That's all. But suppose that
don't make any difference, either"
Mrs. Perkins, deep in the long waited
for paper, made no direct reply, but
presently broke out with Just please
listen to tho prices they are selling bea-
yer bands for at tho Palais Royal. l must
certainly get some for my brown suit, and
q little muF and shoulder capo would BIO
nice for you to give me for Christmas"
Every nice indeed Delightful p said
Mr. Perkins derisively. "Wouldn't you
like pair of diamond earrings, too, and
coupe"
why, don't sec what you are so snap
pish about" retorted his wife. you
always give me something Christmas"
"Christmasp replied Mr.. Perkins, re-
lapsing into deep gloom. There won't
DO any Christmas in this house."
why not2" inquired Mrs. Perkins, be-
ginning to realize that there was some
thing in the wind, and casting aside the
paper. 'Plantagenet, take your fingers
out Of the sugar bowl instantly, and finish
your breakfast. It's almost school time.
Why won't we have any Christmas
Why, I've begun-Oh! / forgot"
"You have, have your" said Mr.. Per-
kins gloomily. "Well, you needn't finish
it. don't want any plush whiskholders
or tight slippers or tinsel smoking caps,
when I'm going to DO turned out without
red cent in tho world"
~ haven't begun anything for you"
said Mrs. Perkins, and added medita-
lively, IL did think of giving you brass
coal scuttle for the parlor but"
very we'll, do" interrupted Mr.. Per-
kins viciously, "and I'll give you box of
cigars and keg of beer"
Mrs. Perkins took no notice of this
thrust, but went on, what I've begun
was a dark green velvet suit with Irish
point collar and cuffs for Plantagenet."
You'd better get him a basket for cold
victuals," said Mr.. Perkins morosely-"1
tell you what, Maria, we've got no money
to waste on velvet suits. We must be
laying by little something to keep us
from starving. Wemust retrench, do you
understand retrench, and p. d. q. too"
very we'll. Mr.. Perkins," replied Mrs,
Perkins with dignity, "thero is no occa-
sion to bluster at me. l am perfectly
willing to retrench. Where would you
like to have mo beginP Shall / got
corned beef for dinner instead Of those
ducks you ordered?"
NwaII NJ DnrLsn.
don't know as I'd do that. can't do my
work without something comfortable to
cat, you know; but ] should think Plan
tagenet could do without velvet suits
aud don't see why we shouldn't send
him to tho public school and save school
bills"
"Mr. Perkins," said Mrs. Perkins with
lofty scorn. II am willing to deny my
self anything, but l am not willing tc
treat my child with injustice. If you
wish your son to herd with a common
rsbble of children that nobody know
about, cannot encourage you in your
unnatural desire. prefer that he should
attend O school where he acquires tn,
man ners of gentleman. Plantagenet
darling, take your feet of the sofa, ant
run along to school. You know you
father doesn't like to have you sharpen
your slatepencil with his razor"
"Graoious heavens" screamed Mr.. Per.
kins, like itW and he leaped from hi
chair, but Plantagenet was gone and thu
door was heard to shut with bang tina
broke two panes of glass.
Maria" said Mr.. Perkins severely
''If those are the manners of q gentle
man should think there would be yer,
little difficulty in acquiring them any
where"
"You see you frightened him, Alex
ander. You are too severe with Planta
genet. He has q very sensitive spirit
But / thought you were speaking of re
trenchment."
80 i was, Maria, and though am yer,
sorry to say SO, do not see how l cal
afford, as things are, for you to get tina
new suit you were speaking Of l thinl
you will have to make your last year
dress do this winter"
"Oh certsinly, Mr.. Perkins," replied
his wife, in trembling tones. my las
years dress ia simply hanging upon m
in rags and tatters, but If you desire T.
have your wife appear as beggar, why
have nothing to say. Shall l call at Bar
NUNS and oountermand the order TO
your winter suit? l can go down tn
back streets. Nothing could induce M
to be seen upon the avenue"
son! my dear" said Mr.. Perkins will
some embarrassment, you can see 70
yourself the condition this coat is in.
is 80 shiny you can see your face in it, an,
the edges are all frayed. 1t really woul,
be no economy for me to do without suit
Perhaps we can manage the dress for you
but" with renewed frmness, there is on
thing l am determined upon. We canno
have raft of company here the Who'll
winter, eating US out of house and home
II suppose" said Mrs. Perkins wit
whitening sarcasm, that that means tina
my poor old mother is not to BIO allowe
to come to SEQ her only daughter on tn
4th Of March. had only invited Joseph
inc and her and Mary Porter, who wa
my bridesmaid and has been my mos
intimate friend for years, but suppose
shall have to write to them that my hus
band says they shan't come. But remem
Der, Mr.. Perkins, If do, there is TO BIO N
elaborate supper gotten up for your goI
maudiLing whist club; remember tina
sir"
Come, come. Maria, don't DO unreasou
BILE. OF course, / have to entertain tn
club in my turn, and you know that q
well as do, We can do without somethin
else to make up for that-opera tickets @
something. There probably be no goo
troupe here this winter, and anyway
wonld rather hear you sing than Sembric
or Damerini any day"
Mrs. Perkins shifted disdainfully
"Maybeyou would, she answered calmly
"but l wouldn't rather hear you tina
Campanini or Giannini. However, al
perfectly willing TO give up the opera
you will give up cigars"
"Maria," retorted tho harassed econo
mist, angrily, l do believe you are tn
most unreasonable woman tho Lord eve
made. You know perfectly well that
is as much as my life is worth to do will
out cigars. They stimulate the oerebri
action and sootho the nerves and-6
nnd-er and anyway you waste enoug
money on your Kensington work an
finger bowl doylies and trash to keep 81
men In ciRarS i shnnld mat likn IN a g