The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1884-01-26
MY UNCLE'S WILL.

MY uear Mr.. Payne, said my
deceased uncle's lawyer, with an en-
phatic wag of his forefnger, II assure
you there's no help for it. The Ian
guagc of the will isperfectly simple and
explicit. Either you must do as your
late uncle desired, or you must let the
property 90 to the representative of his
deceased wife's family
''But surely, Blenkinsopp," 1 said,
deprecatingly, 1--WE mi ght get the
Court of Chancery to set it aside, as be-
ing contrary to public policy, or some
thing of that sort. know you can get
the Court of Chancery to affirm almost
anything you ask them, especially if it,
something little abstruse and out of
the common; it gratifies the Courts
opinion of its own acumen. Now,
clearly, it's contrary to public policy
that man should go and make his own
nephew ridiculous by his last will and
testament, isn't it?''
Mr.. Blenkinsopp shook his head
vigorously BLESS my soul, Mr..
Payne" he answered, helping himself,
to a comprehensive pinch from his
snutf-boX Gan odious habit, confined,
believe, at the present day to family
solicitors,) "bless my soul, my dear sir,
the things simply impossible. Here's
your uncle, the late Anthony Akin,
Esquire, deceased, a person of sound
mind and an adult male above the age
of twenty-one years-to be quite ac-
curate, 9tatis sue, seventy-eight-
makes his will, and duly attests the
same in the presence of two witnesses:
everything quite in order; not a single
point open to exception in any way.
Well, he gives and bequeaths to his
nephew, Theodore Payne, gentleman
that's you-after a few unimportant
legacies, the bulk of his real and per-
sonal estate provided only that YOU
adopt the surname of Akin, preiiXed
before and in addition to your own sur
name of Payne. But-and this is very
important-if you don't choose to adopt
and use the said surname of Akin, in
the manner hereinbefore recited, then
and in that case, my dear sir-why,
then and in that case, as clear as cur
rant jelly, the whole said residue of his
real and personal estate is to 90 to the
heir or heirs-at-law of the late Amelia
Maria Susannah Akin, wife of the said
Anthony Akin, Esquire, deceased.
Nothing could be simpler or palmer in
any way, and there's really nothing on
earth for you to do except to choose be-
tween the two alternatives so clearly set
before you by your deceased uncle"
But look here, you know, Blenkin-
sopp, | said, appealingly, mo fellow
can really be expected to 90
and call himself Aikin-Payne,
now can he? It's positively too redicu-
lous. Mightn't | stick the Payne be-
fore the Akin, and call myself Payne
Akin, Ell? That wouldn't be
quite so absurdly suggestive of
a perpetual tooth-ache. But Akin
Payne! Why, the comic papers would
take it up Immediately Every footman
in London would grin audibly when
he announced me. | fancy hear the
fellows this very moment; ilinging open
the door with violent attempt at
seriousness, and shouting out, MIR.
buckingham, ha, ha, han with a loud
gutfaw behind the Intel. 1t would be
simply unendurablem
"My dear sir" answered the unsym-
pathetic Blenllinsopp (most unsympa-
lhetic profession, an attorneys really,
''the law doesn't take into considera-
ton the question of the probable con-
duct of footmen. 1t must be Akin
Payne or nothing. | admit the colloca-
ton does sound little ridiculous, to be
sure; but your uncle's will is perfectly
unequivocal upon the subiect-in fact,
ahem! | drew it up myself, to say the
truth; and unless you call yourself
Ailin-Payne, lin the manner hereinbe-
fore recited, then and in that case, OBJ
serve (there's no deception), then and
in that case the heir or heirs-at-law of
the late Amelia Maria Susannah afore-
said will be entitled to benefit under the
will as fully in every respect as if the
property was bequeathed directly to
him, her or them, by name, and to no
other person"
"And who the dickens are these
heirs at-law, Blenkinsopp?" | ventured
10 ask, after a moments pause, during
which the lawyer had refreshed himself
with another prodigious sniff from his
muff-box.
"Who the dickens are they, Mr..
Payne? | should say Mr.. Aikin-Payne,
lhem-why how the dickens should 1
know, sir? You don't suppose | keep
genealogical table and full ped
gree Of all the second cousins of all my