Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1884-06-05
How Mining ExcitemenTs Begin.

How Mining ExcitemenUs Begin
Dear reader, shall l give YOU few
symptoms of the mining epidemic in
mountain towns? All right; 1 will,
| anyhow.
Symptom IA long-haired man is
seen pounding up piece of quartz
| about the size of mans hand.
Symptom 2-Two other men mean
der up to him and ask him where he
got it.
Symptom 3-The long-haired man
looks down into the mortar, and lies
gently to the inquiring minds who lin
ger near.
Symptom 4-More men come around.
The long-haired man gets a gold-pan
and doubles himself over the ditch and
begins to pan.
Symptom 1.-Two hundred more men
come out OF saloons and other mer-
camille establishments and join tt
throng.
Symptom 6-The long haired man
gets to black sand and shows several
colorS about the size Of blue Jays
ear.
Symptom Z times-Several solitary
horsemen start out with some pack
mules and blank location notices and
valley tan. The plot deepens. The
telegraph gets red hot. Men who have
been impecunious for 10, these many
years come around to pay some old
bills. Poor men buy spotted dogs and
gold-headed canes. Stingy men get
reckless, and buy the first box of straw
berries without asking the price.
have caught the epidemic myself.
[ am getting reckless. Instead of
turning my last summer lavender pants
hind side before and removing the ham
sandwich Autographs from the front
breadths, | have purchased new pair.
never experienced such a wild, glad
feeling Of perfect abandonment.
go to church and chip in for the hea-
then. perfectly regardless of expense.
l throw in the small currency with a
lavish hand.
Banks, offices, stores, saloons, and
private residences, show specimens of
quartz carrying free gold and carbon
ates, hard, soft and medium soft, with
protoXide of nitrogen, rhombohedral
glucose indications of valedictory and
free milling oxide of anti-fat in album
dance
Nellis, who lives near the Mill Creek
carbonate claims, came into town the
other day to get an injunction against
the miners, SO that he can in iunct them
from prospecting in his cellar and stalk
ing his pie plant bed.
When he goes out after dark to drive
the COWS out of the turnip patch, he
falls over q stake every little while,
with a notice tackled on it, which sets
forth that the undersigned, viz: Johnny
Comelately, Joe Newbegin, Shoe Fly
Smith, and Union Forever Dandelion,
claim 1900 feet in length by 600 feet
in breadth for mineral purposes on this
claim, to be known as The Gal with
the Skim Milk Eye" together with all
dips, spurs, angles, or variations, gold,
silver, or other precious metals therein
contained.
Mr.. Nellis says ne is glad to see a
"boom," and at first he did all he could
to make it pleasant for prospectors;
but lately he thinks that their sociabil-
ity has become too earnest and too ST.
multaneous
[ told him that the only way that [
could see to avoid losing his grip, and
having his string beans dug up prema-
turely, was to stake the entire ranch as
placer claim, buy him Calling gun
that shoots the large size buckshot, and
then trust to the mysterious movements
of an overruling Providence.
do not know whether he took my
advice or not, but | am looking anx-
iously along the Mill Greek road every
day for a six mule team loaded with
disorganized remains, and driven by q
man who looks rs though he had glut-
ted his vengeance, and had two or three
gluts left over on his hands.-BiH Me-