Savannah morning news. [volume] (Savannah) 1868-1887, 1884-03-16
BRIGHr RETS

/ "DoN'T get married during Lent. says an
! exchange. There are plenty Of other things
! to repent Of"
Puck wishes to know if would is pronounced
''WOOd" and could pronounced Good" why
/ isn't Gould pronounced good?
/ STRANGE that the Cincinnati newspaper.
/ did not take advantage Of the flood and claim
| their city as the best seaport in the United
/ States.-LO1ceH Citizen.
An exchange says geology is the son Of
mineralogy. The yOungster viii probably be
in comfortable circumstances, as the father is
said to have lots Of rocks.
THE tramp's favorite food-"boned" turkey.
The motto for scissors editors-pOsitivey no
credit. Debt always grows bigger the more
you contract it.-Ie1ds SftiRgS.
The secret of Minister Sargent's indifer-
ence 30 German abuse has at last been discov-
cred. His wife Is prominent member Of the
woman suffrage movement. lie is accustom-
ed to trOuble.-Grdphic.
The Boston Herald asks: ''Does a eat need
instructions to eat cream?" A New YorE cat
wouldn't know cream from cold poison The
nearest approach to cream sold in this city is
skim milk thickened with chalk.
SCIENTISTS have discovered that alcohol
produces trchlnOsis. 1t is not probable, how
ever. that this discovery will help the tenn
perance cause. for alcohol has long produced
worse things than trichin0sis and still held its
grOund.-S0BterUille journal.
IT has been stated, and some sportsmen
will, no doubt, be sorry to hear it, that a fish
ing pole has been invented that registers every
fish caught. This will do away with all fish
stories, inasmuch as the angler with q pole
that doesn't register will always be regarded
with susplcion.-Puck.
MRS. MACKEY's latest Worth dress is de-
scribed as poem From the descriDtiOu
we infer that it resembles a poem that is in
serted in the editors waste basket. II is not
red This is a verse straight Joke. but the
temptation to write waist basque it was neces-
sary to overcome.-NOrristOlon HerdLd.
Figaro says that an American boy of great
prospective wealth, and both of whose parents
are dead, was lately staying at Nice under the
guardianshipsof some relatives. This prec0-
ciOus young hopeful, who made his presence
very troublesome to those around him. was
one day clambering a dangerous way about
the balustrade of the hotel staircase. A gem
tleman, knowing not that he was an orphan,
demonstrated with him, and added. 'What
would your father and mother say if they
were to see you behaving like this?' "They
wouldn't say anything" was the answer, 'be-
cause they've joined the Turf Club"
'BEwAR of ambishun. / dOan' mean dat
any OF you shouldn't want better cloze, better
houses and a leetle more cash in bank, but
doan' banker fur to be great an powerful.
Seller was ambishus, and whar am he now?
Nero was ambishus. an de grave in which
he sleeps cannot chen be found. Roscoe
Conkling was ambishus. and at one fell sWOOp
he was Knocked into de center oh las week.
Ben Butler was ambishus, an to-day he
would be forgotten except fur de plcters Of
his face on tobacco packages. De mint am
bishun seizes any one of you heah befO me,
an makes you sigh for to upset laws, invent new
customs an spill your Oratory from the Speak
er's desk in Congress YOU am gOner. A tree
can't be all top. Oar has got to be some roots
an lower limbs. While de top may show OF
leetle mo-, it am allus the fust to be damaged
in a gale. The Hon. Jaac6ack johnson 6efore
tie Lime Kiln cub