Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1884-09-24
NASBY AS AN ORACLE.
The Ex-POstmastsr DevOtes a Few Min
utes to Answering Questions of
Correspondents.
tFrom the Toledo Blade.]
CONFEDRIT X ROADS ]

| TFrom the Toledo Blade1,
CONFEDRIT X ROADS,
witch is in the State Nv kentucky, 7
Aug. 81, 1884.
/ Eev received sum thousands of letters from
my D1mocratic friends from all parts Nv the
kehtry, Wlch, ez cannot find time, or postage
stamps, to answer persnelly, I do thro the me-
jun Nv the publik press
l wood sejest that Dimocrats witch git Their
1rends TO write me queries on pol1tikle matters
shood enclose stamp or two to enshoor an
early reply. Bascom don't use stamps, but he
KIN sell EN- to Pollock, and Bigler, and the iron
mill over on the Run, and he SEE he will take
EN- Nv me tur drinks, fur to go to the trubble Nv
tQrnln Nv EN- into money is better than to
Fharge up wat cOnsoom. Hereafter no letter
Will DE answered witch does not contane at least
pne 5-cent stamp. kin yootilize EN-, as Bascom
hez agreed to make 5-center the price Nv
one sustaner, layin down the stamp jist afore
he SETS out the bottle, to prevent mistakes. Mr..
basccm hez strong desire to sell his Ikker,
but he lacks faith in hooman nacher.
ne wants cash afore he sets the bottle out,
wien Is generally incOnvenient, eS the man who
hez the vel1est thirst is the identicle Teller wat
never hez the cash. Thirst and cash seldom
goes together. Thirst is no respecter Nv persons.
LII comes alike to him wich kin pay for asswag-
ers and him witch can not. Credit is the main
stay Oh !ndlv1JJles ez well ez Nv. States. But
Bascom Is not a pOlitikle economist and don't
understand the principles Nv things.
But to my answers:
Young Dimocrat Poseyville, Injeany: Fur
Jim Blame to have his son go about visitin
Boards of Trade, and SIGH, and gittin his name
Into the noosepapers, Is taxin a unfair advantage
OF our noole standard barer ex-Sheriff Cleve-
land. 1t is not shivelrous. Grover Cleveland
hez son, it is troo that is, he is PERSONNEL to
hev Wun though he SEE it isn't certain, precisely,
ez witch Nv the four its father RELY wuz. Any
bow, Sheriff Clevelands son isn't Nv that per-
t1keler kind the father witch would keer to
hev goin about the kentry claimin to be
his son., OWN to the unforchnit circum-
stance that he wuz born when ex-Sheriff
Cleveland wuz giddy, wild yooth Nv only AZ
summers and about the same number very
hard minters, and he wuzn't percisely married
sons mot T1,x.D GorI
Beecher doesn't mind little thing like that,
and, in the interest Nv purity ignores it, but he
ASH eggsactly quotable authority on SIGH deikit
matters. He knows how it is himself, and his
word don t count While eX-Sherif Cleveland
Is undoubtedly innocent in this matter, Marian
Halpln is undoubtedly guilty. Apply to this
case the same rool that Plymouth Church did to
Mr.. Beecher.
Stump-speaker, Smithville, Injeany: From
wat L know Nv the kentry 700 live in, shoOd
advocate Tariff Reform, with a decided leenin
to Perteckshun. think 700 hev coal in your
v1s1n1ty, and that yoor voters are largely inter
estid in manufaktrin Eff l am kerrect that is
wat 700 want to do. Eff, on the other hand, l
am not kerrect, and 700 are purely agricultrel,
and yOor people are not pertikerly intelligent,
insist that Dimocrisy means tariff reform with
O decided leenin toward free trade 700 know
wat yoOr people want ConStroO the platform
to SCOT en- The platform wuz made to be con-
| strood; construktid, in fact, SO that Henry Wat
terson and Sam Randall kin both stand on it,
j. L., --, Missoory: Wat part Nv Missoory
are VOC in? Eff 700 are in q SeCeShn naberhood,
insist that Hendrix wuz a out and out secesh-
mist, and reed his speeches dtrin the war to
yoor awjinceS. Eff VOC are in Yankee naber-
hood, insist that he wuz merely upholder NV
the COnStooShnel rites NV the South but he WuZ
ez loyal ez anybody, only dfferin with the beest
Iinkin ez to methods. Whether 700 reed his
speeches doorin the war to your awjinces or not
depends entirely on the kind people 700 are
talkln to. However, insist upon reform strenu-
Ously.
Strikt Purity, Kokomo, Injeany: Ex-Sherif
Cleveland hez no past but Marian HalDin His
n / nv ich
his name it is Oscar Folsom Cleveland. Ex-
Sheriff Cleveland wuz a thotlis yooth 40
Eeers Nv age when this happened, it bein one nv
the pardonable eXcesses Nv mere boy sowing
lis wild oats. Pay no attenshun to the eX-
Sher11ts past. In TACT, amt shoor but wat it
wood be well to assert that he never q Dim
ocrat. In most seckshuns Nv cthe kentry that
wood be to his credit, and wood go a CRATE way
toward inspiring confidence in him. [ wunst
knOWd a man witch he'd too much respect for
his wife to ever stay at home Let us be ekally
magnanimous to ex-Sherln Cleveland. He is
comparatively moo, and ther amt no yoose in
saddlin our record onto him.
Persnel Liberty: Read ex-Sheriff Cleveland's
letter Nv acceptance and 700 will be satisfied.
The question Nv l1lker don't properly enter into
this campane but the CX-Sheriff hez put himself
on record ez int1eXibly in favor Nv everything in
the way NV free whisky everywhere. Urge this
On the whisky shops and beer 'SlOons, but say
nothin about it anywhere else
Fiat Money, Cass, Pa. The poss1shen Nv the
Dimocrisy on the money question is the same
on the tariff. Eff you will tell me wat yoor
voters want l will answer definitely. I shood
jedge from your letter that 700 bleeve in fiat
money. Eff l am right then hev to say that
the Dimocrisy holds that dollar is anything
VOC choose to calla dollar. Paper makes perhaps
the best dollars, becoz printing is very
cheap, and paper still cheaper. Paper, sootable
for money, kin now be he'd for about Is cents
pound. All we want is for the Government to
buy paper and print onto it this is a dollar"
with the cut Nv dog watchin a safe to inspire
confidence, and then pass q law compellin
people to take it for dollar, and thar you are
Manufacturer, Westerly, R. l.: The Dimoc-
r1sy hez never he'd but one lice ez to money
Money means wat the world recognizes eZ
money, gold and silver. To print this is a
dollar onto piece Nv paper don't make it a
dollar, even though you put onto it a cut Nv
dog watchin a safe. The printed dog and safe
amt no more reel dog and safe than the paper
dollar is reel dollar. The Dimocrisy is for
honest money.
Honest Count" Ashtabula Ohio: The Di-
mocrsy will insist that the colored voter in
Mississippy shel hev the same ties at the poles
ez his white brethren, Dimocr1s1 will pertekt
the rites Nv all, under the Constot oshen, with
out regard to race, color or previous condishn
Nv servitood. That's what DimOc isy will do,
The safety Nv the colored man depends onto
the eleckShun Nv Clevsls-d
Shotgun, Danville. Virgirn n.y. Wv course an
inferior race should not b mi ted to exercise
the rites Nv free11en Tas. Dslongs to the
proud Cawcashn. How. yer, while your course
Nv KILN nlggerS 20 peFvtnt sh~r takin charge
Nv 700 is kerrect it wood pr-Aaps be polisy to
restrain yourselves till the NORM Nv the eleck-
shun, SO that this report your shOtguns ShOod
not be heerd north afore the poles WIZ closed
and the postoffises be sekoo4 ed. Be We ez wise
ez serpents, eff We don't jist take to the dove
| racket
ln6i gnant Independent Republican, Bustville.
Mass: The President hez the appontm post
masters, and the Iefooze Nv tn, Republican party
to give VOC the offs in your village MlIz, make
no doubt. an outrage. After Cleveland is elected
Will remember your name and address. Wv
course you cannot support an impure man for
President. Put in your best hicks for Cleveland.
I hey many moro to. answer but will reserve
will not forget to enclose stamps. Silver kin go
by mail, but stamps will answer, Bascom, eZ
sed, hevin agreed to take EN- Nv me across his
bar. PETROLEUM v Nasty lnstructor)
THE LIQUOR TRAFFIC.